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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..52d95ad --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #51239 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51239) diff --git a/old/51239-0.txt b/old/51239-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index e2c56b3..0000000 --- a/old/51239-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,7248 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Modern Athens, by Robert Mudie - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Modern Athens - A dissection and demonstration of men and things in the Scotch Capital. - -Author: Robert Mudie - -Release Date: February 17, 2016 [EBook #51239] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MODERN ATHENS *** - - - - -Produced by Giovanni Fini, deaurider and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: - ---Obvious print and punctuation errors were corrected. - - - - - THE - MODERN ATHENS: - - - A DISSECTION AND DEMONSTRATION - OF MEN AND THINGS - - IN - - THE SCOTCH CAPITAL. - - - BY A MODERN GREEK. - - _Ανδϱες Αϑηναῖοι, ϰατὰ ϖάντα ὡς δεισιδαιμονεστέϱους - ὑμᾶς ϑεωϱῶ._ - - - LONDON: - PRINTED FOR KNIGHT AND LACEY, - PATERNOSTER ROW. - - MDCCCXXV. - - - - - LONDON: - Printed by WILLIAM CLOWES, - Northumberland-court. - - - - - CONTENTS. - - - CHAPTER I. - - The Author and the King set out for the Athens--The - Author arrives--The Gathering--Corporation-men--Glasgow, - Aberdeen, Perth, Dundee, &c.--The People page 1. - - - CHAPTER II. - - Athenian Preparations for Majesty--Official Men--Royal - Society--Plan by the Ultras--Migration of the - Jews--Exercise of the Athenian Fair--Sir Walter - Scott--Storm at Sea--Anxiety in the Athens--Royal - Squadron arrives--Fresh anxiety p. 19. - - - CHAPTER III. - - The King lands--Grandeur of the Scenery--Joy of - the People--Insult to Leith--Illuminations--The - Levee--The Court--Disappointment of - Official Men--The Athenian Ladies--Royal - Salutation--Dances--Pilgrimages--Dinners--Kirks--Vanity - of the Athens--National - Monument--Dispersion--Farewell p. 41. - - - CHAPTER IV. - - The - Athens--Situation--Architecture--Environs--Self-idolatry - --Widowed State--Sundry Theories p. 149. - - - CHAPTER V. - - Political State of Scotland--Counties--Burghs--The - Athens--Criminal Law--Lord Advocate--Athenian - Tories--Whigs p. 167. - - CHAPTER VI. - - Athenian Lawyers--Their overwhelming Influence--Their - Habits and Characters--Solemnity of the Scotch Criminal - Courts p. 187. - - - CHAPTER VII. - - Athenian Learning--Causes of its - Decline--Professors--Philosophers--University--Patronage - --Athenian Parsons p. 206. - - - CHAPTER VIII. - - Literature--Ramsay--Ferguson--Burns--The - Edinburgh Review--Blackwood’s Magazine--The - Scot’s Magazine--Miserable State of the Athenian - Press--Causes p. 225. - - - CHAPTER IX. - - Education--Scotch Education generally--Its - Advantages--The Athenian Populace--Athenian - Education--Its doubtful Qualities p. 258. - - - CHAPTER X. - - Athenian Manners--Religion p. 290. - - - CHAPTER XI. - - Sundry Qualities in Supplement p. 305. - - -Throughout the Volume, there will be found _attic_ touches of real -character, in illustration of the general and local truths. - - - - -THE - -MODERN ATHENS. - - - - -CHAPTER I. - -THE AUTHOR AND THE KING ARE INDUCED TO VISIT THE MODERN ATHENS. - - -“Ego et Rex meus.”--WOLSEY. - - -The renown of the Scottish Metropolis,--that city of wonders and of -wisdom, of palaces and of philosophy, of learned men and of lovely -women, had sounded so long and so loudly in their ears, that toward -the close of summer 1822, the Author of these pages and the Sovereign -of these realms, were induced to pay it a visit, each in that state -and with that pomp and circumstance which was becoming his station in -the world. The one, in that unmarked guise which is fitting for one -who lives more for the glory of others than of himself, and who sets -more value upon the single sentence which preserves his memory when he -is no more, than upon all that he can possess or enjoy in this world. -The other, in that glow and grandeur, which gains in intensity what -it stands some chance of losing in duration,--which is the grand idol -of its day; and which, when that day has closed, is gathered to the -sepulchre of its fathers, to make room for another--and the same. - -The Author of these pages must not be blamed, or deemed disloyal, for -having given his own name the precedence of that of his Sovereign. -Every man in reality prefers himself before all the sovereigns in -the world; and wherefore should not one man state this preference in -words? The courtier declares that all his services are devoted to his -king,--but he devotes them no longer than that king can afford to -pay for them: the soldier swears that he will die in defence of the -crown,--but he never dies till he is compelled by the superior strength -or skill of another. Even upon general grounds, therefore, there is -candour if not courtesy in this order of precedence. - -But, when the specialities of the case are considered,--when it is -borne in mind that the monarch, all-gracious and polite as he is, -visited the Athens, as well to dazzle the Athenians by his grandeur, -as to delight them by his bounty,--that the native luminaries of that -centre of many twinkling lights were shorn of their beams by his -overwhelming radiance,--that this instance of kingly condescension -taught the ΔΕΜΟΣ of Athena to regard as haply something less even than -men, those whom they had formerly looked upon as possessing some of -the attributes of divinity; and when, on the other hand, it is taken -into the account that the author of these pages made his visit solely -with a view of seeing with his own eyes, hearing with his own ears, and -proclaiming with his own lips, the truth of those reports which had -come to him through so many channels, and of which the fruition had -proved so much more delectable than the foretaste: then, assuredly, -ought Athena herself, from all the castles of her strength, the halls -of her wisdom, the drawing-rooms of her beauty, and the alleys of her -retirement, to confess that she owes to the author of these pages more -than kingly gratitude.--The King noticed but a few of her people, -enriched not many, and ennobled almost none: those pages are intended -to enwrap the whole in one pure and perennial blaze of glory. - -It was on the evening of the same day that the Monarch took shipping -at Greenwich amid the shouts of assembled multitudes, and the Author -took his seat on the top of the Edinburgh mail, amid piles of tailors’ -boxes, each containing a courtier’s habit, in which some fond, and -fawning, and fortune-desiring son of Caledonia was to bend the supple -knee in the presence of Majesty, within the ancient palace of the -Holyrood. The voyages of kings, and the velocity of mail-coaches, are -already known and appreciated; and thus there needs no more to be said, -than that here also the Author had by several days the precedence of -the King. - -The jolting of the wooden cases of my courtly neighbours, together -with forty-eight hours’ exposure to drought by day and damp by night, -prepared me, in spite of all my burning anxiety to see the far-famed -city, for the enjoyment of several hours of repose; and, as Athena was -at this time too much excited for permitting me to enjoy this till -towards morning, the sun had risen high before I left my chamber. - -Upon hurrying into the street,--into that Princes’ street, which, as -I afterwards learned, is at certain seasons of the year the favourite -lounge of the Athenian dandies, and at certain hours of the day the -favourite haunt of the Athenian fair, who resort thither as the -clock strikes four, to feast their fair and anxious eyes upon the -self-important forms of dashing advocates, the more dapper and pursey -ones of pawkie writers to his Majesty’s signet, or the attenuated -striplings of the quill--the future Clerks and Jefferys, who at that -hour are returning from the harvest of law and profits to such feast -as awaits them in ample hall or elevated cock-loft, according to their -talents, their connexions, or their purses;--upon hurrying into that -street, in the expectation of feasting my eyes upon the natural and -architectural glories of the city, I found that those glories were in -the mean time veiled in the maddening preparations of a whole people, -who had come from every portion of the main land, and from the remotest -isle of Thulè, to wonder at and to admire that mightiest marvel of -human nature--a king. - -So novel and so varied were the costumes, so unexpected and so -singular were the features and expressions, and so uncouth and -Babylonish were the voices, that the eye and the ear were confounded, -the judgment could not understand, and the memory could preserve no -record. Here you might see some brawny and briefless barrister--the -younger son of a loyal family, with a pedigree at least twice as -long as its rental, with trowsers and jacket _à la_ Robin Hood, -and huge blue bonnet adorned with the St. Andrew’s cross and a -turkey-cock’s feather--looking for all the world like a chimney-sweep’s -Jack-o’-the-Green, or a calf dressed entire and garnished with -cabbage-leaves; while close by him trotted a loyal toast-composing -crown-lawyer, with his hinder end cased in a phillibeg, a feathered -bonnet, at least a third of his own height, an iron-hilted sword -somewhat more than the whole, and a dirk that might have served for -a plough-share, puffing and blowing under the weight of his own -importance, and the accoutrements of the Celtic society. In close -juxtaposition with these was a genuine _Glhuine dhu_, plaided, plumed, -and whiskered, and looking as if all the kings of the earth were -nothing to that swaggering chieftain, of whose _tail_ he formed no -inconsiderable portion. In another place you could catch the broad -face and broader bonnet of a lowland farmer of the old school, cased -in one uniform garb of home-made blue, with brass buckles to his -shoes, a brass key suspended to his watch by a tough thong of black -leather, greasy enough,--holding solemn colloquy with that reverend -member of the Scottish Kirk, to whom he acted in the capacity of ruling -elder, about the danger of compromising the interests of the Whig or -_high-flying_ part of that establishment, during the _avatar_ of so -many Tories. The reverend gentleman himself was no bad sight. His -general-assembly coat and et cetera’s were duly kept at home,--that -is to say, in his two-shillings-a-week apartments, up seven pair -of stairs, in College-street, or haply in the house of that town -acquaintance with whom he had found cheaper board,--till the eventful -days should arrive. Thus he was habited in his parson’s grey, the -breast of which, where it projected beyond the perpendicular, bore -testimony to the fall, both of broth and of punch, while his inferior -regions were shaded and shielded by dark-olive velveteens, a little -tarnished, worsted hose furrowed as neatly as the turnip-division of -his glebe, and cow-skin shoes of the most damp-defying power, which -borrowed no part of their lustre from Mr. Robert Warren. Still the good -man was clean in his linen; his chin was shorn like a new-mowed field; -his visage beamed forth gratitude for “a competent portion of the good -things of this life;” and his plump and ruddy hands slumbered with -much orthodox ease in the capacious pockets of the velveteens. Anon, a -highland laird, whose _tail_ comprised only his lady and half a dozen -of daughters, and who seemed to be meditating upon the roofless castle -and ill-stored larder, to which the expense of parading full thirty-six -feet of female charms before the King would subject him, during the -weary moons of the Highland winter, hurried past, not at all at his -ease. - -But, to describe the individuals, strongly marked as they were, -would be altogether out of the question; and, indeed, to give any -thing like even a sketch of the groups and classes and knots of men, -women, and children, in all habits, of all ages, and in almost every -variety of shape, would bankrupt even a German vocabulary, although -in that language one be allowed, for clearness sake, to lump a score -of sentences into a single epithet. The cry was still “they come,” -and Caledonia, from fertile plain and far mountain,--from toiling -city and tiresome wilderness,--from rock, and glen, and river,--upon -the wings of the wind, urged on by steam, drawn in coach, chaise, -waggon, cart, and hurdle, riding upon horses, mules, and donkeys, and -running upon feet, shod and unshod,--came scudding and smoking, and -creaking and crashing, and reeking and panting, in one conglomerating -cloud, and one commingling din, to distract the attention from the -attic glories of Edinburgh, and for a time drown her classic sounds -in the discordant and untunable din of all the provinces. Here you -had the broad shoulders and bold bearing of the borderer, delving an -elbow, of the size and substance of a sirloin of beef, into the skinny -ribs of an Aberdonian professor of humanity, who all the time kept -squeaking like a sick fiddle, in response to the bellow of the other, -which reminded you of a bull confined in the vaulted hall of an old -castle. There grinned the fat face of an East Lothian farmer, between -a Perth baillie on the one hand, and a Stonehaven scribe on the other, -like a ram’s tail between the blades of a shepherd’s sheers. And, -yonder gaped and wondered the great face of a Glasgow negro-driver, -like a Gorgon’s head--not upon the shield of Minerva. Still there was -something interesting in the mighty and motley throng: it put one in -mind of Noah’s ark, which contained “clean beasts, and beasts that are -not clean, and fowls, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth.” - -The most delectable part of the gathering was the combined clans and -the burgh corporations. The former belted like warriors and bellied -like weasels, and tricked out for the occasion in their respective -tartans of their names, each bearing a sprig of the symbolic tree in -his bonnet, a huge claymore in the one hand, and a relay of brogues -and stockings in the other, with a great horn snuff-mull thrust into -his _sporran_--open and ready for action--hurried along at the _pas -de charge_ to their headquarters for the time-being, where they were -instantly dispersed into the crowd, thence to reassemble when the -bagpipe should frighten the last shadow of night. - -The corporation-men came in less military but more important guise. -Glasgow, the queen of the west, Aberdeen, the glory of the north, -Dundee and Perth, the rival empresses of the centre, with Cupar-Fife, -Crail, and a hundred others, each charged with a loyal and dutiful -address, which had been composed by the town-clerk, revised in the -spelling by the schoolmaster, and was to be discharged at the King, -in a manner so powerful and point-blank, as to procure knighthood if -not earldom for such candle-selling provost, breeches-manufacturing -baillie, or other chief magistrate “after his kind,” came on with a -splendour and an importance that Scotland never before witnessed. - -Glasgow, as became her purse and her pride, came blazing like the -western star--or rather like a comet whose tail would have girdled half -the signs of the zodiac. The van was led by the magistrates, in a coach -which previously knew every street and lane of the city, but which was -relackered for the occasion, had the city arms emblazoned upon it as -large as a pullicate handkerchief, and was drawn by eight grey horses -of the genuine Lanarkshire breed,--the thunder of whose feet as they -dashed along shook the kirk of Shotts, and had nearly laid Airdrie and -Bathgate in ruins. The clatter which they made along Princes’ Street -was astounding; the crowd collected in thousands at the din; some -cried it was the king himself; but the final opinion was, that it was -“naebody but the magestrates o’ Glasgow.” - -In the train of this goodly leading, there followed full fifty -thousand,--or to speak by measure, as number was quite out of the -question, full forty-four miles of merchants and makers of muslin; and -the vehicles which carried the car-borne part of them were more strange -and varied than ever appeared at the triumph of a Roman emperor upon -his return from smiting the barbarous nations, and carrying themselves -and all their utensils captive. Here you would see the equipage of a -rich dealer in turmeric or tobacco, fashionable enough except in its -contents; there you were presented with a Glasgow _Noddy_, squeezing -forward its lank form like a tile, and dragged by a steed with three -serviceable legs, and one eye the worse for the wear; in another place -you would meet with a hearse, with a tarpaulin over it to hide the -death’s head and the bones, and crammed full of the saints of the -Salt-market laid lengthways for the convenience of stowage; while the -rear was brought up by an enormous tilted waggon, which, though it was -at first conjectured to contain Polito’s collection of wild beasts, -was, upon examination, found to be charged very abundantly with that -more important and polished matter--the ladies and gentlemen of Paisley -and Greenock. - -The pride of the north had been more than usually upon the _qui vive_. -The Provost had been attitudenizing before a great mirror for a week, -and getting his pronunciation translated into English by Mr. Megget, -of the Academy, for at least a fortnight; the town-clerk had been -drudging at “steps” in private with Mr. Corbyn for a month, and the -learned Mr. Innes had been applied to, to cast the nativity of the -city; and, from the horoscope--Saturn in conjunction with Mars, and -Venus lady of the ascendant, it was sagely inferred by the clubbed -wisdoms of King’s and Mareschal that the Provost “wad get a gryte -mickle purse o’ siller, for the gueed o’ the ceety, forby a triffle to -himsel’;” and that, if not a duke, the town-clerk would be a _goose_ at -any rate, if both eschewed during their sojourn that hankering after -the sex which was portended by the lady Venus being in the middle -house. Those polite and philosophic preparations having been made, -the state coach, with two cats (the emblems of _bon accord_) the size -of a couple of yeanling lambs, gilt with Dutch fulzie, and spotted -with coffin black, “all for the sparin’ o’ the cost,” rattled along -the bridge of Dee at the tail of six hardy shelties from the Cabrach, -“which could mak’ a shift to live upo’ thristles, or fool strae, or -ony thing that they cou’d pyke up at a dykeside.” Still, however, this -mighty magisterial meteor streamed across Drumthwackit, along the “how -o’ the Mearns,” and adoun Strathmore, like an aurora borealis flashing -from the pole to the zenith, flickering and crackling, and smelling of -brimstone. While its tail drew the third part of the wilie natives of -the city; the other two-thirds took their way in barks and steam-boats, -because it was “cheaper by the tae half.” - -But what words can describe the grand array of the municipal -authorities of Perth: Perth, the centre and heart of Scotland--the -capital of the Picts, the delight of the Romans, who tumbled down in -ecstasy when they first beheld it from the summit of Moncrief Hill, -and, fancying that they saw in its green _inches_, its sweeping river, -and its ample size, the Campagna, the Tiber, and the Eternal city, -shouted in one voice “Ecce Tiber! Ecce Campus Martius!”--Perth, which -looks upon Aberdeen as dry stubble, and Glasgow as the dust of the -earth; and which has received within its halls and palaces more kings -and mighty men, than the compass of these pages could hold, or the -sages of its own Antiquarian society could number. - -To pay due honour to the decorum, the sagacity, and the harmony of such -a city, it is worth while to pause and learn a little, before speaking -of the equipage. Well, what, gentle reader, shall we learn? Why that -the same gentleman who sat in that splendid equipage as chief ruler -of the city, put to the proof, as touching his Celtic or Sarmatian -origin, no less a personage than the Grand Duke Nicholas, brother to -the autocrat of all the Russias--the arbiter for the time being of all -the legitimate monarchs upon the continent of Europe. The fame of the -city of Perth being, of course, well known upon the banks of the Neva, -and the Kremlin at Moscow having been burnt as the first portion of the -funeral pile of Buonaparte, there was no place where the magnanimous -Alexander could find a fit pattern after which to build the restored -Kremlin, except this fine and far-famed city of Perth. The Grand Duke -Nicholas, from his well-known architectural and other tastes, was -deputed upon this important mission; and, having taken London, the -Athens, and a few such places of inferior note in his way, he arrived -at the city of all beauty; and was received by a bowing magistracy, and -a gaping populace. During his stay at the George Inn, the superiority -of the Tay salmon and “Athol brose,” over the _caviere_ and _quass_ of -his own country, worked the imperial clay to the temperature of a very -Vesuvius. He applied to the Lord Provost in his need. The Lord Provost -convened his council. Their words were wise, and their faces were -wiser; but they could determine nothing; and so they handed the case -over to the ministers and elders of the kirk. These shut their eyes and -opened their mouths; and having done so for a due season, they found -that as the Grand Duke Nicholas was not in communion with their church, -the Grand Duke Nicholas might, in all matters bodily or ghostly, do -as the said Grand Duke Nicholas felt inclined. This response delighted -the municipal authorities, and they hurried to the inn to communicate -with their own lips this plenary indulgence. Provost Robertson hemmed, -stroked his beard, and led off in words wherein the Saxon and the -Celtic so perfectly neutralized each other, that the whole was as -smooth as oil. But, though the Grand Duke Nicholas understood many -single languages, the mouth even of a magistrate delivered of twins, -was as new to him as it was incomprehensible. It was clear, from his -lack-lustre eye, that he did not understand one word of what was -said; and he tried to convey as much in Latin, French, German, Russ, -and no one knows how many other outlandish tongues; but as the Grand -Duke Nicholas could not ascend to a double language, so neither could -the Provost of Perth descend to a single one; wherefore the mighty -mountaineer, who during the Athenian display acted Perth, brushed up to -him, tumbling down half a dozen of splay-foot councillors and ricketty -deacons, and exclaiming, “Try her o’ the Gaelic, my Lord Provost! try -her o’ the Gaelic!” - -A person of this calibre, and having buttoned within his waistcoat the -chief honour of a town of this fame, could not choose but exhibit a -corresponding exterior. Accordingly, the coach was the size of a fly -van; the horses would have done credit to Whitbread’s heaviest dray; -and, in very deed, had a sportsman of the land of Cockaigne seen the -emblazoned arms, pop would have gone Joseph Manton right and left at -the displayed eagle of silver-white, as at a goose of kindred obesity, -and fit for the Michaelmas board. - -Of those civic exhibiters, Dundee must close the muster: Dundee, after -these, was “filthy Dowlas.” The wig of her chief magistrate, (which -seemed as though he had exchanged it with the Perth coachman, as they -had been taking a groats-worth of swipes and thrippeny blue at Luckey -Maccarracher’s Hotel, down three flights of stairs, in Shakspeare’s -Square,) did not contain as much sand-coloured hair as would have -stuffed a pincushion; and, as for the poll itself, not a barber in -Petticoat-lane would have shown it in his window. Their equipage, which -had once belonged to a celebrated radical, was whitewashed for the -occasion, had two green salamanders marked upon it, as lank as though -they had fed upon smoke--as much as to say that the lading within was -proof against fire and brimstone. Four experienced cattle, which had -been rescued or borrowed from the dogs’ meat-man, dragged forward the -heavy and heartless array; and the brawling burghers took shipping at -their new harbour; but Æolus was adverse, and so they who had hoped -to see George the Fourth saw Holland, got fuddled with Scheidam gin, -bought a cargo of flax, and returned, not much the wiser--that had been -impossible. - -This, and much more after the same fashion, was enough and more than -enough to distract the attention from all the Athenses that ever were -built or blazoned in story. But this, and much more like this, was -not all: there was also much very unlike it,--so unlike, that when -you turned from the one to the other, you felt as if seas had been -crossed; ay, as if the very poles of the earth had been reversed, or -as if you had passed from the depth of folly to the height of wisdom -in the twinkling of an eye. There were the whole assembled people of -Scotland,--of that people who, girt with no ill-suited authority, -and tricked out with no incongruous and tawdry pomp, had come in the -fullness of their hearts and the abundance of their curiosity, to -look upon their liege lord the King. The magistrates in their coaches -were senseless pomp; the Highland chiefs with their tartans and their -tails, were a useless, and, in many instances where they had commanded -the small farmers to leave their scanty crops to be scattered by the -winds or rotted by the rains, a cruel parade; but the people,--the -free and independent people who assembled of their own will, at their -own cost, and for their own pleasure, formed a solemnity at which the -eye could not fail to be delighted, and over which the heart could not -fail to exult with the most ample and the most exquisite joy. To the -hundred thousand inhabitants of Athens, there were added full twice -as many strangers, all in their best array; and yet, among the whole -there was nothing taking place at which either law or delicacy could -be offended. Religious and political animosity had been laid aside, -oppression had been forgiven, and meanness forgotten; the people seemed -to compose but one family, and they spoke as if animated with only one -wish,--namely, that the King should come: or if they had another, it -was that his coming might be speedy and safe. Whatever other men may -think of Edinburgh--of Scotland, as a place to be visited, it is a -glorious place for being visited by a king; and, it will be no proof -of wisdom in the future monarchs of Britain, if they allow the crown -to pass to a successor without paying it a visit. Kings reign the more -happily and the more secure, the more freely and frequently that they -show themselves to their subjects. - - - - -CHAPTER II. - - THE MODERN ATHENS, HAVING ALREADY RECEIVED THE AUTHOR, MAKES - PREPARATIONS FOR RECEIVING THE KING. - - - “The young gudewife o’ Auchinblae, - She was a cannie woman; - She wiped her wi’ a wisp o’ strae, - When her gudeman was comin.”--OLD BALLAD. - - -THE movements of a people of so much gusto, and grace, and gravity, -as those who had interposed their thickening clouds between my vision -and those municipal and mental glories which I had come to see, could -not choose but do every thing according to the most approved canons of -philosophy; and thus the mighty matter of the royal visitation had to -be received in its beginning, its middle, and its end, before I could -proceed in my legitimate and laudatory vocation. Besides the people who -came, there were the preparations made and the deeds done,--each of -which is well worthy of a chapter. - -The rumour of the high honour came upon the Athens like the light of -the morning,--beaming upon the most elevated points, while yet the -general mass remained in shadow. The Lord President of the Court of -Session, the Lord Provost of the City of Edinburgh, the Lord Advocate, -Lady Macconochie, the very Reverend, and (by office and intuition,) -very learned Principal Baird, the Sheriff of the County, Deacon -Knox, of Radical-threshing renown, Mr. Archibald Campbell, and that -fair dame who watches and wipes in Queen Mary’s apartments at the -Holyrood, were the first upon whom the radiance broke; and, the summit -of Ben Nevis gilded by the morning sun, looks not more proudly down -upon the mists of Lochiel or the melancholy waste of Rannoch, than -each and all of those high personages did upon the ungifted sons and -daughters of Edinburgh. They were in a fidget of the first magnitude, -as to what was to be done, and who was to do it. Long and deep were -their deliberations; but, like the Areopagites of the Elder Athens, -themselves and their deliberations were in the dark. Hence, as hope -is the grand resource in such cases, they deputed the Lord President -to seek aid from the Royal Society of Edinburgh,--a society which, -composed of the wisest heads, and prosecuting the wisest subjects, -always says and does the very wisest things in the very wisest manner. - -Fortunately the Society was sitting,--doing its incubation, upon a -refutation of Aristotle’s poetics by Sir George M’Kenzie, of Coul, -Bart., and a proposal for lighting all the roads in Scotland with -putrid fish-heads, by Sir John Sinclair. The Lord President opened his -mouth and his case; and each learned head nodded with the solemnity -of that of a Jupiter. The trumpet-call, blown through the nose by a -bandana handkerchief, summoned to the charge the commodity of brains -that each possessed; and each having returned the bandana to its place, -looked as wise as the goddess of the Elder Athens, or even as her -sacred bird. The general question propounded to them ran thus,--“What -was to be done, and by whom?” and the deliverance of their wisdoms -was, that “Every thing ought to be done, and every body ought to do -it”--a response surpassing in profoundity any thing ever uttered by -the Pythoness herself. The countenance of the dignified delegate was -brought parallel to the ceiling; his eyes and mouth had a contest as -to which could become the wider; and, he Macadamized the question -by breaking it into smaller pieces: “What should they say to the -King; what should they give him to eat; and how should they demean -themselves?” It was resolved, as touching the first, that they should -say very little, for fear of errors in propriety or in grammar; but -that they should put in motion the addressing-machinery, of which -official men in Scotland had so often felt the benefit, and give, in -“change for a Sovereign” as it were, two hundred and forty of those -copper coins, for their own benefit, and that of the royal closet. The -second point was more puzzling: A king would not care for sheep’s-head -or haggis, and as for French cookery, that would be no rarity. Some -lamented that the Airthrie whale was petrified, and that Dr. Barclay’s -elephant was nothing but bones; and Sir John Sinclair recommended three -mermaids dressed entire,--of which he assured them there were plenty -on the coast of Caithness. Upon this point there was a difference of -opinion; and they resolved to board the King upon the enemy, by getting -ten fat bucks from that notorious Whig the Honourable W. Maule, as his -Grace of Montrose had only one to spare. Upon the third point their -decision was equally summary and clear, “Every one was to do the best -that he could.” - -Those sage counsels having been given and received, the loyalty of -Athens was set fire to in a number of places, and anon the whole city -was in a blaze. Lords of session, spies, men who had eaten flesh and -drank wine for the glory of the throne, excisemen, crown-lawyers, -holders and expectants of crown-patronages, address-grinders, -beaconeers, and all the interminable file of that which had supported -the loyalty and existence of Scotland in the worst of times, shone -forth with first and fiercest lustre. In that great tattle-market -(hereafter to be described,) the Parliament-house, you would have found -the Tory barristers--the current of whose loyalty is seldom much broken -by briefs, clubbing together, cackling as though they had been the sole -geese of salvation to the capitol, and stretching their mandibles, -and showing their feathers at the more-employed and laborious Whigs, -as a race soon to be exterminated. The disposal of majesty himself -was committed to the Great Unknown, who sagely counselled that they -should make a still greater unknown of the King, by mewing him up -in Dalkeith-house, where he could commune only with a few of the -chosen; and, that they should bring him before the public only once or -twice, to be worshipped and wondered at, more as a favour of _their_ -procuring, than of his own Royal pleasure. How little they knew of his -Majesty, and how much they had overrated their own importance occurred -not to them at the time, but they found it out afterwards. - -The next weighty question was what the city should do in her municipal -capacity; and, it was ordered _in limine_ that the nightly tattoo -of “The Flowers of Edinburgh,” which from time immemorial had been -played in the streets, should be suspended during the solemnity, under -pain of escheat of the instruments, allenarly for the private benefit -and use of the Lord Provost and magistrates. Every one who has seen -Edinburgh must know the perfect resemblance which her High-street--that -street in which magistracy is pre-eminently dominant, and where shows -are wont to be exhibited--bears to the back-bone of a red-herring. -Westward you have the castle in form, in elevation, and in grandeur, -the very type of the head; eastward, at the further extremity, you -have the palace of Holyrood, which from its lowly situation among -cesspools and bankrupts, and its usual gloomy and forlorn condition, -may very properly be likened to the tail; the intermediate street -is the spine; while the wynds and closes which stretch to the North -Loch on the one side, and the Cow-gate on the other, are the perfect -counterpart of the ribs. This High-street was cleared of some old -incumbrances, had exhibition-booths erected along its whole extent; and -it was expressly ordered that, as the King passed along, no frippery -or foul linen should be exhibited from even the third garret windows; -and, that during the whole sojourn of royalty, no man should enter the -rendezvouses in the closes by the street end, but come in by the back -stairs; _more clerici_, in the same fashion as during the sittings -of the General Assembly. But, it would be endless to notice all the -sagacious orders and prompt actings: suffice it to say, that every -thing which could be thought of was ordered, and every thing ordered -was done. - -The people of the Athens are, even upon ordinary occasions, much -more attentive to their dress than to their address; and, therefore, -it was to be expected that they should be so upon so momentous an -occasion. Besides the tailors’ boxes of which I had felt a specimen on -my journey, there was work for every pair of sheers and needle in the -city. Webs of tartan, wigs, pieces of muslin, paste diamonds, ostrich -feathers, combs as well for use as for ornament, were driving over the -whole place like snow-flakes at Christmas. But, the hurry and harvest -were by no means confined to the Caledonian shop-keepers. The rumour -had reached the purlieus of Leicester-square, and had been heard in the -fashionable repositories of Holywell. The remnant of Jacob gathered -themselves together, resolving to come in for their share of the milk -and honey which was flowing in the new-made Canaan of Scotland; while -the daughters of Judah put tires upon their heads, and thronged away -to spoil the Amorites northward of the Tweed. It were impossible to -describe the wares brought by the sons of Jacob,--it were needless to -tell of those brought by the daughters of Israel. The plume which had -nodded upon the brows of fifty queens at Old Drury, was refurbished -to adorn some proud and pedigreed dame of the north; swords of most -harmless beauty--having nothing of steel about them but the hilts, were -crossed most bewitchingly in every thoroughfare, accompanied by old -opera-hats, bag-wigs, buttons, and every thing which could give the -outward man the guise and bearing of a courtier. Before these elegant -repositories slender clerks and sallow misses might be seen ogling -for the live-long day, and departing in sorrow at nightfall, because -the small tinkle in their pockets was unable to procure for them even -one morning or evening’s use of that garb, the fee simple of which -had cost Moses seven shillings and sixpence, and the translation and -transmission a crown-piece. Moses indeed found that he had something -else than Ludgate-hill and Regent-street to contend with; for, every -ribbon-vending son of the North had garnished his windows with trinkets -and ornaments which, in appearance, in quality, and in price, would -have done honour to Solomon himself. - -But wherefore should I waste time on the ornaments of individuals, when -the garnishing of the whole city was before my eyes,--when, from the -pier of Leith to the farthest extremity of Edinburgh, every act of the -coming drama stood rubric and impressed upon men and women, and things. -The first, important enough upon all occasions, had now put on looks of -ten-fold wisdom and sagacity. The second, all bewitching as they are in -their native loveliness, were subjecting their necks to the process of -bleaching by chlorine gas, laying their locks in lavender, sleeping in -“cream and frontlets,” and applying all manner of salves and unctions -to the lip, in order to make it plump and seemly for the high honour -of royal salutation. I have no evidence that any daughter of the North -fed upon the flesh of vipers in order to induce fairness in her own, as -little have I evidence that there was need for such a regimen; I did -hear, however, that the lady of one baronet took up her lodgings for -two successive nights in a warm cow’s-hide, and that she of a senator -of the college of justice wrought wonders upon her bust by a cataplasm -of rump-steak, but I cannot vouch for the facts, or set my _probatum_ -to them as successful experiments in kaleiosophy. So much for the first -blush of preparation with the men and women; I need not add, that like -the streams of Edina, it became rich as it ran. - -The attitudes of things were a good deal more diversified and puzzling; -and, perhaps the shortest way of getting rid of them would be to -adopt the laundress’ phrase, and say they were “got up;” but this, -though summary and in the main correct, would neither be just nor -satisfactory,--because, in all modern stage displays, the actors would -cut but a sorry figure were it not for the scenery. - -As, however, the scenery arises out of the drama itself, while the -actors have an existence and character off the boards, it will be -necessary to premise an outline of the plot. That was arranged into -the following acts, with as many interludes public and private as -could be crammed into the time and space. The King was to land--to be -received by whoever should be accounted the greatest and most loyal -man in Scotland, which some said was Lord President Hope, some Bailie -Blackwood, some Sir Walter Scott, others Sir Alexander Gordon, of -Culvennan, a few Principal Baird, and even Professor Leslie had his own -vote and another--he was to shake hands with Bailie Macfie, of Leith, -(with his glove on as it were,) then he was to pass along streets, -through triumphal arches, over bridges, and in at gates, to the ancient -palace of the Holyrood, where the old throne from Buckingham-House had -been darned and done up for his reception, by way of reading him an -introductory lecture upon Scotch economy. Such was to be the first act -of the drama, and the preparations for it were peculiarly splendid. The -line of progress, which was both long and broad, was to be thronged -with people; the devices and mottoes were to be got up, to let the -King know that an illumination was coming; the ladies were instructed -to fidget and wriggle in the windows, by way of hint that there would -be a dance; the presence of Sir William Curtis made it certain there -would be turtle-soup; the curl of the Reverend Dr. Lamond’s nose -threatened a sermon; the archery and men with white sticks pointed to -a procession; the hungry looks of the Burgh magistrates and local men -in authority, had obvious reference to a levee; the pouting lips of -the ladies rendered a drawing-room indispensable; and the bevies of -breechless Highlanders and bandy-legged Southerns in similar costume, -were pretty sure tokens of a theatrical exhibition,--and, from the -extreme officiousness of Glengarry, the Kouli Khan of all the Celts, -it was pretty apparent that that exhibition could be nothing else than -Rob Roy--that prince of chieftains and cow-stealers. Thus, while the -first act was to be perfect in itself, it was shrewdly contrived that -it should develop the sequence and economy of the others; but still, to -make assurance double-sure, the gazette writer for Scotland, who had -been a sinecurist since the creation, was kept drudging at delineations -of doings and programmes of processions from morning till night, and -sometimes from night till morning. - -When the whole matter had been planned,--when the officers of the -household for Scotland had got their robes of state,--when the archers -had learned to walk without treading down the heels of each other’s -shoes,--when the tailor, the barber, and the dancing-master had done -the needful upon the Provost and Bailies,--when the tails of the -Highland chiefs had run quarantine,--when the edge of the parsons’ -appetites had been a little blunted,--when the wonted tattoo had -ceased,--when lamps had been hung upon the front of every house,--when -the ladies had drilled themselves in train-bearing, by the help of -sheets and table-cloths, and learned to do their salutations without -any inordinate smacking,--and when the elements of dazzling and of din -had been collected upon all the heights, in the likeness of bone-fires, -and bombs, and bagpipes,--it wanted only the placing of the royal foot -upon the pier at Leith, to bring all those mighty things into forward -and fervent action. - -Amid all those mighty preparations, there was one thing which was very -remarkable, and which throws perhaps more light both upon the morale of -the spectacle and the feelings of the people, than any other that could -be mentioned. The Scots, generally, are allowed to be a people of song -and of sentiment. There is a feeling in their melodies, an alternate -pathos and glee in their songs, and an enthusiasm and romance in their -legends, which are perhaps not equalled, and certainly not surpassed -by those of any nation in the world. This may with truth be said of -the nation, taking the average of times and of places; and, when it is -considered that the Modern Athens holds herself up to the world as a -sort of concentrated tincture or spirit of all that is fine or feeling -in the country,--as being the throne of learning--the chosen seat of -sentiment and of song; furthermore, when upon this occasion there was -gathered in and about the Athens, all the lights which are acknowledged -as shining, and all the fires which are recognised as burning, in taste -and talent throughout Scotland; it must be acknowledged, that something -might have been expected to go upon record worthy of such a people at -such a time. It had been known that the great Seneschal of all those -royal musters,--the ears of the Lord Advocate, the mouth of the Lord -President, the eyes of the Lord Provost--to hear, to speak, and to -stare, at mighty things as it were;--it had been known that, at the -mere loosening of a bookseller’s purse-strings, his verse had flowed -rapid as the Forth, and his prose spread wide as its estuary; and -surely it was not too much to hope that he would consecrate in song, -or conserve in story, an event which was so congenial to his avowed -sentiments, and which must have been (from the fond and forward part -he played in it) so gratifying to his individual vanity. When, too, it -was recollected that this famed and favoured servant of the muse had -gone, invited or not invited, to London at the Coronation, lest the -Laureat should break down under the compound pressure of solemnity and -sack, and the glory slide into oblivion for the want of a fit recorder, -it was surely to be hoped that he would have done justice to the royal -show in his own country, and in his own city. But, _ecce ridiculus -mus!_ the pen which had been so swift, and the tongue which had been -so glib at the bidding of a mere plebeian bookseller, were still and -mute when a king was the god, and an assembled nation the worshippers. -He who had made the world to ring again with the shouts of Highland -freebooters, and the din of whose tournaments yet sounds in our ears, -failed at the very point of need! “Ah, where was Roderick then! One -blast upon _his_ bugle horn” had been worth all the senseless vulgarity -from Princes’-street, and all the piddling inanity of Tweedale-court. -It was wished for, it was called for, it was imperious upon every -principle--not of consistency merely, but of gratitude; but it came -not; and all that stands recorded as having come from his otherwise -fluent pen upon the occasion, is a paltry and vulgar drinking song, -which it would disgrace the most wretched Athenian _caddie_ to troll -in the lowest pot-house of the Blackfriars wynd. - -If one whose piping is so gratefully received and so amply rewarded, -and whose loyalty has been withal so abundant and so profitable, -remained mute or degenerated into mere foolery upon the occasion, what -could be expected from the provincial and unhired dabblers in verse, -who write only to the casual inspiration of love or liquor, and melt in -madrigals or madden in catches according as Cupid or Bacchus holds the -principal sway! Nothing, I maintain, and therefore the Great Unknown is -guilty not only of his own omission, but of that of all his countrymen. -If he had done as he ought,--done in a way worthy of himself--putting -the occasion entirely out of the question, there is not a doubt but the -whole drove would have been at his heels. As the case stands, whatever -may be the comparative merits of the Whig _becks_ and Tory _booings_, -the poetic eclat of the visit of George the Fourth must succumb to that -of the descent of Jamie in sixteen hundred and eighteen. - -How is this to be accounted for?--I can see why the mouths of the minor -poets must have remained shut; but, to find an apology for the master -one, is no such easy matter; and perhaps the safe way for all parties -would be to place his salvation in consternation by day, and cups by -night. Still, it is remarkable that, though this was the only royal -visit with which Scotland had, during the reigns of six monarchs, been -honoured, there is no where existing a single decent page, either in -verse or in prose, in commemoration of it; and, if the long preparation -which was made for it, the bustle which it occasioned, and the crowds -which it drew together, be considered, one would feel disposed thence -to conclude, that the Athenians, instead of being that literary people -which they are represented, are a set of ignorant barbarians. This -however is, as themselves say, not the fact, and therefore there must -be a cause for their supineness. That cause, however, being beyond the -depth of my philosophy, must be left to their own. - -While the Athens was making all preparations to receive the king, -and the king all speed to visit the Athens, the elements, those -outlaws from even royal authority, created a little anxiety on both -sides. The weather, which had been propitious at the outset, became -(notwithstanding that the mayor of Scarbro’, in his zeal to present a -loyal address at the end of a long stick, had been chucked into the -sea, like another Jonah, and not swallowed up by a whale) not a little -unpleasant, as the royal squadron approached that singular rock, once -the abode of state prisoners, and now of Solon geese, denominated the -Bass, and resembling more than any thing else a great pigeon-pie riding -at anchor. The chosen had arranged that this same rock, emblematical of -the ancient manners as a prison-house, and haply of the modern men as a -gooserie, should be the first Scottish soil trodden by the royal foot. -Some said, that this was intended to show that, though the said chosen -were unable to contend with their political opponents in argument, -they had the power on their side, and could send them to prison; but -that is a point without the scope of my speculation, and it is of no -consequence, as the Father of the sea would not permit the Father of -the British people to land. - -When a day and night more than had been calculated upon were expired, -without any tidings of the royal squadron, the gloom of the Athenian -authorities became sad in the extreme. Here you would find one wight -twining up the steep acclivities of Arthur’s Seat, jerking his fatigued -corpus upon the pile of coal which had been collected upon the top for -a bon-fire, and straining his owl-like eyes to penetrate the dense fog -of the eastern horizon, like a conjuror ogling the volume of futurity; -and there would go a frowsy bailie or fat sheriff hotching and blowing -to the observatory on the Calton Hill, keeping the anxious window of -his wisdom for ten minutes at the telescope, and leaving it with -a growl that he could “see nothing,”--and how could he, bless his -honest soul! for he had not removed the brass cap from its opposite -extremity? No matter: bailies and sheriffs must understand Erskine’s -Institutes, but a telescope was quite another thing. Amid this looking -and lamenting, the wind freshened, and it rained; and there were -also one or two distant growls of thunder, which fear very naturally -converted into signals of distress from his Majesty’s yacht. Upon this, -the mental agony became immense; and, saving an attempt on the part of -Kerne of the Clan Donnochie, to open with his dirk a free passage for -the soul of a Canon-gate constable, no event had broken the gloom of -that dismal Tuesday. “Mirk Monday” had long been a day accursed in the -Scottish calendar, and it was now feared that his younger brother was -to reign in his stead. - -Next morning was little better; and though all the loyal spirits -of Athens scrambled to the heights to call the king from the -fog-enshrouded and “vasty deep,” there was no answer to their call, -save the hollow booming of the east wind, and the melancholy scream -of these sea-fowl which had escaped from the storm. They who had been -instrumental in bringing their sovereign into such peril, wist not what -to do; and, as is the case with most men in such a situation, they -did nothing,--at least nothing which could increase his safety, or -accelerate his arrival. - -Still the preparations went on; and, in the sadness and anxiety of the -day, the drilling of the highlanders and archers--who had become so -expert as to face all possible ways at a single word of command--were -not a jot abated, while the gloom of the night was broken by the -clinking of hammers erecting scaffolding in every thoroughfare, as -well as by pattering feet of official and other men learning to “make -their legs” against the levee, and the scratching of grinders’ pens -translating, redacting, and otherways brushing up loyal and dutiful -addresses, which came before them on all complexions of paper, and in -all concatenations of orthography. Nor were these glimpses through -the gloom confined to sounds; the sights were equally delectable. -Here, one might catch a sight of some single star, not of the first -magnitude, twisting her face into all expressions, and her neck into -all attitudes, in order to find the barleycorn of beauty in the bushel -of chaff; and there again might be beheld a whole constellation, -bedraperied with sheets as aforesaid, streaming forward through some -long gallery, tailed and terrible as comets, and then retreating -backwards with perplexed and puzzled steps, tucking up the sheets as -they progressed, and occasionally dropping like falling stars from the -firmament of their practice. - -Morning dawned; and the sleepless eyes and speculationless telescopes -again faired forth to scan the gloomy east. One from the top of the -Calton, cried “There is the Royal George! I know her by the spread of -her sails, and the sweep of her oars.” The crowd looked toward the -sea, and saw nothing. The observer looked at his telescope: a moth had -settled upon the object glass, with downy wings elevated above, and -feet and feelers extended below. Still the crowd collected, till every -height commanding a view of the point at which the Forth mingles its -broad waters with the ocean, was absolutely paved with human beings, -all worshipping towards the east, with more intense devotion than a -caravan of Moslem pilgrims in the desert. - -Toward mid-day, the more experienced eye, or better-ordered glass -of the port-admiral at Leith, descried the smoke of the assisting -steam-boats. Up went the royal standard; every gun of every ship in the -roads told the tidings; and instantly the echoes of cliff and castle -rang to the shouts of an hundred thousand joyous voices. All was bustle -and scramble. Heralds marshalling here, clans mustering there, and -people crowding everywhere; while the royal squadron, now aided by -a gentle but favourable breeze, stood majestically toward the roads, -where it anchored about two o’clock. Anon the water was peopled with -loyalty; the splendour of dresses and of flags dazzled the eye; and the -swell of all sorts of noises deafened the ear. The equilibrium of the -clouds was unsettled; and, just as preparations were making for the -landing, rain fell in torrents. Lest so much finery should be spoiled -in the first scene of the drama, the grand ceremony was postponed till -the next morning. The king, in the mean time, received at the hands -of Sir Walter Scott, a St. Andrew’s cross, the gift of some ladies -of Scotland, whose names (prudently perhaps) never were distinctly -published. Nearly at the same time with this, came a messenger of -another description. He told that the Marquis of Londonderry was no -more; and thus, even the royal joy was not wholly unmingled. Still -the king showed himself to his aquatic visitors in the most courteous -manner; and, perhaps, the two events were the better borne that they -came together. Thus the Athens had another night for preparation; and, -as it was not a night of fear, that preparation went on with increased -activity and spirit. She had now seen the king; and but a night was to -elapse, ere the gratification was to be mutual, by the king seeing her. -On his part, indeed, it should have been greatest, as she had given -herself most trouble, and would continue longest to feel the cost. - - - - -CHAPTER III. - -THE ATHENS RECEIVES THE KING, AND IS JOYOUS. - - All tongues speak of him, and the bleared sights - Are spectacled to see him: your prattling nurse - Into a rapture lets her baby cry, - While she chats him: the kitchen malkin pins - Her richest lockram ’bout her reechy neck, - Clambering the walls to eye him: stalls, bulks, windows, - Are smother’d up, leads fill’d, and ridges horsed, - With variable complexions; all agreeing - In earnestness to see him: seld’-shewn flamens - Do press among the popular throngs, and puff - To win a vulgar station: our veil’d dames - Commit the war of white and damask, in - Their nicely-gawded cheeks, to the wanton spoil - Of Phœbus’ burning kisses; such a pother, - As if that whatsoever god, who leads him, - Were slily crept into his human powers, - And gave him graceful posture.--SHAKSPEARE. - - -EVERY one, who having heard of the splendour which is attendant upon -royalty while dwelling at a distance from the scene of its display, -has thence been induced to mingle himself with the crowd of ordinary -spectators, must have felt how much the reality falls short of the -anticipation. One sees a gaudy vehicle drawn slowly along, and within -it a human being, apparently but ill at his ease, and obviously feeling -the same danger of tumbling from his unnatural and elevated seat as -one perched upon the top of a pyramid. A crowd, usually formed of -the ill-dressed and the idle, run and roar about the carriage; the -trumpeters play “God save the King,” the attendants wave their hats -and cheer, and the spectacle, having passed through its routine, is no -more heeded. In London, for instance, those state processions which -the etiquette of the court inflicts upon the sovereign, are not more -imposing than a Lord-Mayor’s show; and even the most loyal, unless it -conduces in some way or other to their personal interest, care little -for a second display. - -With this experience, I had prepared myself for being disappointed -in that spectacle which had brought Scotland together; and I _was_ -disappointed. But my disappointment was of a new kind; for the -solemnity, the grandeur, and the effect of the scene, were just as -much superior to what I had hoped for, as those of any analogous -scene that I had witnessed fell below the anticipation. The Scots -are, unquestionably, not a superstitious people; neither do they care -for parade. Upon ordinary occasions, too, they are a disputing and -quarrelling, rather than an united people; and with the exception of -those who are either paid or expect to be paid for it, they are by no -means inordinate in their loyalty. But they are a people whose feelings -have the depth, as well as the placidity, of still waters; the rocks, -the rivers, and even the houses, are things of long duration; there -is no portion of his country, upon which the foot of a Scotchman can -fall, that speaks not its tale or its legend; and there is no Scotchman -who does not look upon himself as identified with the annals of his -country, and regard Edinburgh as the seat of a royal line, of which -no man can trace the beginning, and of which no Scotchman can bear to -contemplate the end; and which, though it has been bereaved of its -royal tenant by an unfortunate union with a more wealthy land, is yet -more worthy of him, and more his legitimate and native dwelling-place, -than any other city in existence. - -The operation of those feelings, or prejudices, or call them what you -will, produced upon the occasion of which I am speaking, a scene, or -rather a succession of scenes, of a more intense and powerful interest -than any which I had ever witnessed, or, indeed, could have pictured to -myself in the warmest time and mood of my imagination. I had thought -the thronging of the people to Edinburgh a ridiculous waste of time; -I had laughed till every rib of me ached, at the fantastic fooleries -of the Celts and Archers, and the grotesque array of the official men; -and founding my expectations upon these, I had made up my mind that -the whole matter was to be a farce or a failure. But I had taken wrong -data: I had formed my opinion of Scotland from the same persons that, -to the injury and the disgrace of Scotland, form the channel through -which the British Government sees it; and therefore I was not prepared -for that solemn and soul-stirring display,--that rush of the whole -intellect of a reflective, and of the whole heart of a feeling people, -adorned and kept in measured order, by that intermixture of moral tact -and of national pride, which was exhibited to the delighted King, and -the astonished courtiers. It seemed as though hundreds of years of the -scroll of memory had been unrolled; and that the people, carrying the -civilization, the taste, and the science, of the present day along -with them, had gone back to those years when Scotland stood alone, -independent in arms, and invincible in spirit. - -As, to the shame of the literature of Scotland, and more especially -to that of the Athens--who arrogates to herself the capability of -saying every thing better than any body else, no account of this -singular burst of national feeling has appeared, except the gossiping -newspaper-reports at the time, and a tasteless _pot pourri_, hashed -up of the worst of these, with scraps of gazettes, and shreds of -addresses,--in which, more especially the latter, it would be vain -to look for any trace of the spirit of the people,--it is but an act -of common justice in me to devote a few pages to it, though I know -well that I shall fail of the effect which I am anxious to produce. -In order, as much as I can, to guard against this, I shall divide the -remainder of this chapter, (which, in spite of me, will be rather a -long one,) into as many sections as there were acts in the drama of the -King’s visit. The first of these will of course be, - - -THE PROCESSION TO HOLYROOD. - - ----------“He comes, he comes! - Sound the trumpets, beat the drums.” - -It seemed as though the lowering skies and sweeping storms, which had -made the longing people of Scotland almost despair of the pleasure of -the royal visit, and which had drenched them, and given them a whole -night of impatient delay, when the King was not many furlongs from the -Scottish shore, had been intended to heighten by their contrast the -splendour and eclât of the royal debarkation. The morning of Thursday, -the 15th of August, dawned in all the freshness of spring, and in all -the serenity of summer. The rains had given a renovated greenness to -the fields, and a thorough ablution to the city; and while the first -rays of the morning sun streamed through the curling smoke of fires -that were preparing the breakfast of three hundred thousand loyal and -delighted people, they painted upon the adjoining country that “clear -shining after rain,” which is, perhaps, the fairest and freshest guise -in which any land can be viewed. The soft west wind just gave to the -expanded Firth as much of a ripple as to shew that it was living -water, without curling the angry crest of a single billow. There was -a transparency in the air, of which those who are accustomed only to -the murky atmosphere of London, or the exhalations of the fat pastures -of England, could have no conception. Not only the colour of every -pendant in the roads, but the cordage of every ship, and the costume -of every one on board, was discernible from the elevated grounds about -Edinburgh; and, while standing on the Calton Hill, the royal squadron, -with thousands of boats and barges sporting around it, on the one -hand,--and the bustling crowd on the other, decked in their various and -gaudy attire, flitting past every opening, and filling every street -that was visible, composed a panorama of the most spirit-stirring -description. - -The ancient standard of Scotland was hoisted at Holyrood; the ancient -crown and sceptre of Scotland were there ready to be lent to his -Majesty,--but, too sacred and too dear to Scotland as the symbols -of her old and loved independence, for being given to a king, whom -she had come from her utmost bourne, decked herself in her finest -apparel, and tuned her heart to its choicest song of joy, to welcome; -the royal household of Scotland, more showy in their attire, and more -self-important in their bearing, than is usual where kings are subjects -of daily exhibition, because the robes and the occupation were new, -were proceeding toward the place of their rendezvous by the longest and -most circuitous paths that they could find out, anxious to levy their -modicum of admiration ere the more transcendent splendour and dignity -of the king should draw all eyes towards itself, and leave them as -the forgotten tapers of the night, after the glorious orb of day has -climbed the east; the Caledonian fair were thronging to the casements, -(balconies there were none,) each looking more happy than another, -and one could easily perceive that faces, which, during a reasonable -lapse of years--either through the fault or the failure of Hymen--had -been stiffened by sorrow, and saddened by despair, were that day to -be decked in their earliest, their virgin smile,--a smile which, they -were not without hopes, might draw other eyes, and charm other hearts, -than those of their sovereign; and the maddening burghers and wondering -yeomen were trotting about from place to place; and, in their zeal for -obtaining the best sight of the king, running some risk of not seeing -him at all. - -Having seen the muster of the official men--as well those who were to -proceed to the pier of Leith to receive his Majesty, as they who were -to deliver to him the keys of the city of Edinburgh, and thereupon -speak a speech, into which a full year’s eloquence of the whole -corporation, with some assistance of the crown lawyers, and a note or -two by Sir Walter Scott, was crammed,--having examined the facilities -which the people along the line of the procession had given the tenants -of a day for gratifying their eyes,--and having felt more joy at -heart than I had ever done at a public spectacle, at seeing so vast a -multitude so very happy, and so very worthy of happiness,--I set about -choosing my own station, in order that I might gaze, and wonder, and -be delighted with the rest; and, after very mature deliberation, I -resolved that that should be upon the leads of the palace of Holyrood, -provided I could get access to the same. - -Access was by no means difficult to be obtained, nor was my ascent -to the top of the ancient structure without its pleasures. In the -first place, I passed through the apartments of the fair queen of -Scotland,--the fairest, and all things considered, perhaps, the -frailest of royal ladies; and there I found the whole localities of -Rizzio’s murder, well preserved both in appearance and in tradition. In -the second place, I had the pleasure of seeing upon the leads, dressed -in the plain tartan of her adopted clan, the fair Lady Glenorchy, who -possesses all the charms of Mary, without any of her faults. I am not -sure that I ever saw a finer woman; I am sure that I never saw one in -whose expression intellect was more blended with sweetness, or spirit -softened and enriched by modesty and grace. - -Besides those intellectual (is that the term?) pleasures, there were -other things which rendered my locality the best of any: First, it -commanded a larger and better view of the procession; and, secondly, -though Edinburgh looks romantic from my situation, there is none where -it becomes so perfect a fairy tale. While I paced along the leads -of the palace, and I had ample time to do it, I was more and more -rivetted, both in motion and in gaze, by the wonderful scene. Eastward -was the expanse of blue water, widening and having no boundary in -the extreme horizon, and confined every where else between the soft, -green, lovely, and productive shores of Lothian and Fife. Along the -whole visible portion of the waters, no ship was going forth upon -her voyage, but many were cruizing towards the port of Leith by the -combined powers of every thing that enables man to make his way upon -the deep. Northward rose the Calton Hill, ornamented with one of the -best and one of the worst specimens of modern architecture, having a -park of artillery and a picquet of horsemen upon its summit, and its -sides groaning under the weight of a multitude which no man could -count. Sufficiently elevated at one place for throwing its more -elevated objects against the sky, and rapid enough in its slope for -bringing out at whole length the masses of people who occupied it, the -Calton did not conceal either the royal squadron in Leith roads, or -the majestic summits of the remote Grampians,--from which every cloud -and every trace of mist had been brushed away, when I first ascended, -while the strong and peculiar refraction that the atmosphere in such -cases exerts, gave to them only half their distance and double their -height, as if the mountains themselves had raised them from the beds -of their primeval residence, and come near, to behold the splendour -which the Athens had put on, and the glory with which she hoped to be -blessed. Towards the south, Salisbury Craggs and Arthur’s Seat raised -their summits to the mid heaven, and threw their broad shadows over -the valley, into which the beams of light which poured in at the -openings of the majestic wall of rock, seamed the blue shadow as the -lapis lazuli is seamed by gold. The view this way was to me peculiarly -sublime, not only from the great contrast that it formed with every -thing around, and indeed every thing that one could conceive to exist -in the vicinity of a city, but because of its own peculiar and inherent -sublimity, and the wild accompaniments with which it had been decorated -for the occasion. The crags rose rugged and perpendicular, with their -profile dark as night, while standards, and tents, and batteries, -and armed men on foot and on horseback, hung over the wild and airy -steep. A flood of mellow light which came in from behind gave them the -lineaments of giants, and a glory of colouring far exceeding any thing -that limner ever tinted. Then rose the more sublime height of Arthur’s -Seat, thrown back by the vapour which the sun was exhaling from the -dew in the dell between, and having its summit haloed with a glory -of radiant prismatic colours, through which the solitary stranger or -flitting picquet seemed beings of another world. And, as the sun-beams -came and went upon burnished helm or brazen cuirass, the whole seemed -spotted with gold, or inlaid with costly stones. At my feet was the -court of the palace, in which the royal standard was guarded by a -fine body of highlanders, and the palace-gates kept by a goodly array -of the Edinburgh archery, who, though they seemed not to be the least -important part of the spectacle in their own eyes, were yet intent upon -procuring for their favoured fair those situations from which they -would best view the glories of the archers and of the king. - -Before me, the Athens herself clustered her buildings, and shot up her -towers, her spires, and her castles, with a witchery of effect, which -can be equalled by the view of no other British city, and surpassed by -that of the Athens from no other point. When one, for instance, ascends -the top of St. Paul’s, one wonders at the business and bustle that is -around; but the eye is tired with the interminable lines of dull brick, -and the dingy clusters of puny steeples, and smoking chimney-stalks; -while the sound, and the rushing, and the artificial origin of the -whole, make one melancholy with the idea that it will not last. One -should never look down upon a city: the sight is always dingy, and the -view always produces melancholy. - -From the leads whereon I stood, though I was high above the court -of the palace, I was below all the city except that rubbish which -was concealed; and never did the mere sight of houses produce such -an effect upon me. The ground was so magical, and the buildings so -different in form, that the whole seemed as though it had been moulded -by the hands of giants, or commanded into existence by the fiat of a -god; and, in firmness and colour, it was so like the rocks upon which -it rested, and by which it was surrounded, that it looked as though it -had lasted from the beginning of time, and would endure to the end. -Right in front of me, the high street opened at intervals its deep -ravine; upon the summit of a hill, but still, from the great height of -the houses, appearing as if that hill had been cleft in twain, to open -a way from the palace on which I stood to the castle, which, from its -aged rock at the other extremity, looked proudly down as the monarch of -the Athens, seated upon a throne which would out-exist those of all the -monarchs of the nations. Around this were clustered palace and spire, -each upon its terrace, while the spacious bridges, beneath whose arches -the distant Pentland hills and the sky were visible, formed an aërial -path from the grandeur of one place to the grandeur of another. - -There was something so novel, so wildly romantic, and so overpowering, -in all this, that I retired to the most remote and elevated part of -the roof, leaned me against a chimney-stalk, and, forgetting the king, -the procession, the people, and myself, was in one of those reveries, -in which the senses are too much gratified, and the judgment too much -lost for allowing the fancy to sketch, and the memory to notice. “This -is incomprehensibly fine!” were the words which I then ejaculated to -myself; and now that the presence of the picture is gone, and the -recollection such as no mind could retain, I can do nothing more than -repeat them. - -I stood thus absorbed till about mid-day, at which time the flash and -the report of a solitary gun from the royal yacht caught my eye and my -ear, and made me start into recollection. Just then, a cloud of the -most impenetrable darkness had collected behind, or, as it appeared to -me, around the castle, which made the Athens appear as if her magnitude -stretched on into the impenetrable gloom of infinitude. But I had no -time to pursue the train of feeling to which that would have given -rise; for the volleyed cannon--flash upon flash and peal upon peal, and -the huzzaing people--shout upon shout and cheer after cheer, made the -cliffs and mountains ring around me, and the palace rock under my feet, -as though the heavens and the earth had been coming together, and the -Athens had been to be dashed to pieces in the maddening of her own joy. -The ships in the roads first pealed out the tale, and the blue waters -of the Forth were enshrouded in a vesture of silvery smoke. Anon the -batteries upon the Calton took up the tidings; and their roar, all -powerful as it was, was almost drowned in the voices of the thousands -which thronged that romantic hill. In an instant, the same deafening -sounds, and the same gleaming fires, burst away from the Craggs on the -left; and the cannon and the cry continued to call and to answer to -each other from the right hand and from the left, as-- - - ----“Jura answers through her misty shroud, - Back to the joyous Alps, which call to her aloud,” - -till every atom of the air was reverberating with sound, every cliff -and every building returning its echo, the ground reeling to the noise, -the fleecy smoke hanging upon the cliffs like the clouds of heaven, or -settling down till the Athens put on the appearance of a sea, in which -the more elevated buildings and spires seemed islets, and the castle, -with her glaring fires, and her astounding volleys, towered like an -Etna, burning, blazing, and thundering across the deep. What with the -closing of the natural clouds, and the spreading of the artificial -ones, the darkness which even at noon-day had settled over the city was -awfully sublime; even the mass of the castle, large and lofty though -it be, was shrouded in the thick vapour of the sky and of itself, so -that all which the eye could discern, was the flashes of artillery -contending with the flickering of distant lightning, and all that the -ear could hear was the mingled peal and jubilee, in the pauses of which -the voice of the distant thunder was too feeble for being heard. The -darkness borrowed additional sublimity, if indeed that was possible, -from the pure and unclouded light of the sun, which a few straggling -beams that occasionally stole their way as far as the slopes of Arthur -Seat, told me was sleeping upon the plains of Lothian; and the din of -the joy received all the accession of contrast from the stilly silence -which reigned in the deserted halls and desolated villages of that busy -and blooming land. Amid this darkness and din, the royal barge rowed -softly towards the Scottish strand, and the sovereign of these realms -was the first to set his foot upon Scottish ground, while the author -of these pages occupied the very pinnacle of the Scottish palace. The -magistrates of Leith, all tingling and but ill at their ease, stood -shaking and speechless to receive him; but their blushes were a good -deal spared by those grand monopolists of Caledonian loyalty, the -lords president, justice clerk, baron register, and advocate, and that -mighty master of the ceremonies, and that mightier memorialist, (who, -it was hoped, would cut the thing into everlasting brass,) Sir Walter -Scott. But though the monopolizing lords blushed not, they blanched a -little, when they found the eyes of the king turning everywhere with -the same beaming delight upon the people, whose appearance and whose -conduct showed him that Scotland, if not the most polished, was by no -means the least polished jewel of his crown; and the baronet, who haply -was brought there, chiefly from the eclât which his literary renown -would confer upon his less gifted but more official associates, found -perchance that the glory of an author, however high in itself, and -however rewarded, is but a tiny instrument of Royal joy. - -The guardsmen, who very judiciously were chiefly either Scottish -citizens or Scottish soldiers, succeeded, not in keeping order among -their countrymen, but in preventing breaches of it among themselves; -but the _Craggan nan phidiach_,--the Raven of the Rock of Glengarry, -was of too bold spirit, and too bustling wing, to be so restrained. To -prevent accidents, this mighty personage, who had stood up bonnetted, -dirked, and pistolled, at the King’s coronation, to the utter dismay -of the ladies of England, had been sent upon this occasion to keep -watch and ward upon the state-coach; but when the coach had taken its -place in the procession, the chieftain stepped a little way out of his, -bustling through the crowd to give Mac Mhic Alistair Mhor’s welcome; -and it was not till the Lion of England had knitted his brows and -shaken his mane, that the Raven of the Rock flew back to her station. - -Onward moved the procession, through avenues of people, and arches of -triumph,--one of which latter spoke as much as ten volumes upon the -learning of the Athens, and the ignorance of the _mercatores_ of Leith: -“_O felicem diem!_” said that side of the first triumphant arch which -looked towards the Athens; “O happy day!” quoth the one which smiled -upon the lack-Latin lieges of Leith. - -When the procession had cleared the town of Leith, and was moving -gracefully along that broad and beautiful walk, which still keeps -Leith at a respectful and proper distance from the Athens, the first -presentation upon Scottish ground was made to the King--and perhaps -none more honourable in its spirit, or honest in its intention, was -made to him during his whole sojourn. There was presented to George -the Fourth, a _Parliament-cake_,--not such a cake as is gleaned from -the fields of a country, or baked in the oven of a royal burgh, and -thence sent to St. Stephen’s Chapel as a well-leavened waive-offering, -(and from which, by the way, Scotland has got by way of eminence the -name of the _Land of Cakes_,) but something more luscious and learned -still,--a cake of sweet and spicy ginger-bread, stamped with all the -letters of the alphabet, and by combination and consequence, with the -whole learning and literature of the united kingdom. The presentation -alluded to happened thus: Margaret Sibbald, an able-bodied matron -of Fisher-Row, had been induced, through the compound stimulus of -curiosity and loyalty, to leave her home all unbreakfasted, in order -to take her place in the royal procession; Margaret had stored her -ample leathern pouch with a penny-worth of Parliament-cake, in order -to support nature through this praise-worthy work; but Margaret’s -eyes had been so much feasted, that Margaret’s stomach was forgotten. -Seeing that the King wore a hue which she did not consider as the hue -of health, and judging that it might arise from depletion induced by -his rocking upon the waters, she elbowed her way through horsemen, -Highland-men, archer-men, and official men, up to the royal carriage, -and drawing forth her only cake, held it up to his Majesty, expressing -sorrow that his royal countenance was so pale, and assuring him that if -she had had any thing better he would have got it. A forward strippling -of the guards charged Margaret sword in hand, to which Margaret -replied, “Ye wearifu’ thing o’ a labster! Ye hae nae mense, I hae dune -mair for the King than you can either do or help to do; I hae born him -sax bonnie seamen as ere hauled a rope, or handled a cutlass.” It was, -however, no time for prolonged hostilities, and so Margaret was lost in -the crowd, and the guardsman not noticed in the procession. - -Many were the events of the march ere the King arrived at the end of -Picardy-Place, to receive the silver keys of the Athens, and hear the -silvery tones of her chief magistrate; I shall mention only one: The -pawky provost of a burgh of the extreme north, determined to see the -whole, and yet not pay his half-guinea for a seat in one of the booths, -had scrambled to the top of a tree at Greenside-Place, where he hung -rocking like a crow’s nest. As the King approached, the provost swung -himself to one side, waving his bonnet, and screeching his huzza, in -strains which would have scared all the owls in England; and when -the mass and the movement of this loyalty were in full effect, they -proved too mighty for the support, so that the pine and the provost -fell prostrate before the King. Even this was not much heeded: the -procession moved on, and the provost moved off. - -At last the King came to the wicker-gate of the city, the keys were -presented, the speech was spoken, and the crowd in a great measure -melted away, by the majority hurrying away toward the Calton-Hill, -whence they could command a view of the whole during almost a mile of -its march. This desertion fell like cold water upon the official men, -and even the King himself seemed disappointed. - -But the gloom and the disappointment were of no long duration, for no -sooner did he turn the corner into St. Andrew’s-street, than the mass -of shouting and ecstatic people who hung upon the whole beetling side -of the hill, and covered every part of the buildings, came upon him -with a shock of joy and a touch of exultation, which made the cold -state of the monarch give way to the warm feelings of the man. “My God! -that is altogether overpowering!” said he, snatching off his hat and -essaying to join in the cheer, but his voice faltered, and tears, which -were not tears of sorrow, suffused his eyes, and watered his cheeks. - -His reception when he landed had been confined, and the people were too -near for giving vent to their feelings; and the delivering of the keys, -though there was a crowd there because the King halted a little, was -a piece of mummery, about which so reflective a people as the Scotch -cared little; but when the King was discerned in Prince’s Street, when -the living hill-side beheld his approach, and when the assembled nation -reflected that their Monarch was coming in peace to visit them,--it -was then that Scotland welcomed the King, with a welcome which none -that saw or heard it is likely ever to forget. The first shout was -astounding, and it rose and rung till it was answered by voices of joy -over a wide circumference. - -During all this time I had not seen the procession, but I heard of it -from one who was close by the royal person all the time, and whose -character for truth and feeling is recognised as well by the world of -letters as by the world of men. I must confess that, choice and chosen -as was my place, the occupation of it was a pretty severe trial on my -patience; and when I first saw the yellow plumes of the Braidalbanes, -and the tall and majestic form of their leader, issuing from behind the -monument of David Hume, and heard the notes of their bagpipes pealing -“the Campbells are coming,” I had almost wished myself a Highlander, -and in the procession. The King soon arrived at the Palace, had a -hurried interview with some of the officers of state, and then drove -off for Dalkeith-House, there to pause and recover from the fatigue of -the voyage, and the excitement of the procession. - - -THE ILLUMINATION, THE LEVEE AND COURT, AND THE LADIES. - - “Ten thousand tapers shone; ten thousand lords, - And squires, and yeomen, hungry clerks, and churchmen, - Bended the supple knee; ten thousand ladies, - With eyes of love, lit up the nether skies.” - -Although each of these, no doubt, seemed to the parties themselves -of sufficient importance to add to the shelves of literature a new -volume, instead of being confined to a single chapter or section, yet -I am induced to bring the three into juxtaposition, because I shall -thereby preserve the unities,--have a beginning in light, a middle -in somewhat of gruffness, if not of gloom, and an end as glorious -as the congregated beauty of a whole nation, together with divers -importations, could make it. - -It may be thought that the burning of a certain number of candles, the -hanging up of a certain number of coloured lamps, and the displaying -of a few ill-daubed transparencies, could contain no trait of national -character; and that therefore it ought to find no place in these -pages. But there was, perhaps, no one scene during the whole solemnity -which brought out the character of the Scotch more decidedly than the -illumination of Edinburgh upon the evening after that on which the -King landed. The town of Leith had indeed been both very generally -and very finely illuminated on the evening before; but that haughty -spirit of the Athens which makes her bear herself somewhat saucily -toward all her compatriot (or if you will, com-_provosted_) cities -and towns in general, and towards poor Leith in particular,--that -spirit which made them taunt Leith with the translated side of the -inscription, in the morning, made them reckon it high treason against -the majesty of the Athens to look at, or talk of, her illumination in -the evening; and thus, although the thing was no doubt very fine, there -were few to wonder, and still fewer to put that wonder upon record. -When the Athens, however, hung out her physical lamps, the emblems of -her metaphysical light, all came, all saw, and all admired. It was a -novelty to me: the illumination was so general, the streets were so -thronged, and the people were so orderly. No doubt, there were wanting -that profusion of daubed transparencies, and dangling festoons, tagged -with classic mottoes and allusions, ill-quoted and worse applied, which -are found in other places; but here, again, his Majesty would have had -cause to exclaim, that the nation by which he was surrounded were all -ladies and gentlemen. Excepting at the public buildings, the houses -of official persons, the apartments of clubs and societies, and the -houses of a few private individuals, the abode of peer and burgher -were illuminated in the same style, and with the same brilliance. -I waive the details as to who hung up a crown in white lamps, or a -thistle in green and red, or who took up their motto in Latin, in -English, or in Gaelic. I do not even dwell upon the general effect; -for though, on account of the situations in Edinburgh, the state of -the weather, and the zeal of all classes of the people, that was as -fine as possible,--it was the people themselves that were the sight. -Natives and visiters, three hundred thousand of every rank, age, and -sex, thronged the streets to such a degree, that it was difficult in -many of them to get a sight either of the pavement or the carriage-way. -This immense mass put one very much in mind of bees; their noise at -any point was scarcely louder than the hum of those insects, and in -their varied motions they clashed as little with each other. Instead -of brawling and wrangling, which almost invariably take place on such -occasions, the most elegant escaped without a stain, and the most -feeble without a jostle. The accommodation which they afforded each -other in their progress was truly remarkable: When one came to any of -the elevations so frequent in the streets of Edinburgh, one saw nothing -but human beings, thick and reeling as the leaves in an autumnal -whirlwind; and yet, if one chose, one’s progress could be as rapid and -almost as free of interruption as if the street had been deserted. I -did not remark a face in the whole assemblage that did not express -the feeling of being pleased itself, and the desire of communicating -pleasure to all around it. Just as was the case on the day of his -Majesty’s entry, the conduct of the people was the same as if they had -been engaged in a solemn and felicitous act of religious worship. - -While the inhabitants of the Athens and their visiters were thus -rejoicing in the light which themselves had kindled, (a species of joy -which, by the way, is peculiarly congenial to the said Athenians,) they -whispered, as any unknown personage of sufficient size for a monarch -moved through the crowd, that that personage could be none other than -the king himself in disguise. Indeed, I am not sure but a considerable -portion of that decorum which marked Edinburgh upon this occasion was -owing to the apprehension which every body had that the royal eye -might be upon them, without their knowing any thing about it; but -whatever might be the operating principle, whether a sense of decorum, -or national or personal pride, the effect was equally striking, and -the merit perhaps equally great. But still, though the illumination, -especially when the spirit of the people is taken into the account, was -a fine show, still it was only a show, and a show in which the king, or -even the Athens, in her peculiar capacity, took no part, and in which -official men cut no more figure than the common herd. - -With the _levee_ it was otherwise: that was one of the grand acts -for which the king had been invited to Scotland; and it is utterly -impossible to form even an idea of the hopes that were built upon it. -From the very first blush of the business, the regular, thorough-going -tories, (which, in Scotland, mean those who will take any public -employment, and pocket any public money, however improperly or dirtily -got,) fancied that the whole consequence of the land was to be entwined -around their capacious heads, and the whole wealth of it crammed into -their more capacious pockets; and thus, they had given themselves airs, -at which an Englishman would have been perfectly thunderstruck. A very -respectable and very independent proprietor of the county of Fife -told me that, a personage who had acted as tell-tale of their village -during the war, and who, for a long time after the peace, continued -to sell plots (perhaps at a handsome discount) to the crown lawyers -of Scotland, until the ministry put an end to the unavailing traffic, -would occasionally be found pacing over his estate, tasting the soil of -the fields, and noting down what he was to have sown in each of them, -after the king should have put him in possession. - -The people were quite full of stories of this kind; and I have no -doubt that the desire of seeing how these men of high loyalty and -higher hopes would act, was one of the chief causes that brought so -many provincial people to the Athens; and that the humiliation that -these persons met with was, next to the joy at seeing each other happy, -one of the greatest boasts that the whole affair yielded. Without -a previous knowledge of the political system of Scotland,--the way -in which the few vicegerents in the Athens gobble up the loaves and -the fishes, how lesser men over the country snap at the crumbs; and -how they all growl, and worry, and snarl at other folks, it is quite -impossible to form an idea of the insolence by which the little men -of office were actuated. As, however, I shall have to discuss this -matter when I come to treat of the politics of the Athens, (for it is -there that the centre and focus of the system exists,) it would be both -premature and unintelligible to notice them here. Wherefore, I shall -confine myself to what I saw and heard as touching the levee. - -The night which preceded that eventful day was an anxious and unclosing -one to the men of hope and of office, from all parts of Caledonia; -and baron and bailie, parson, provost, and professor, great judge and -small attorney, eloquent advocate and uneloquent scribe,--all that the -land of heath, of herrings, and of black cattle, could produce, was, -with proud but palpitating heart, bedecking and bedizening itself, in -all sorts of dresses, official, courtly, and nondescript, in order -that they might, in seemly array, kiss that Kaaba of all loyal men’s -worship, (and who would not be a loyal man upon such an occasion,) -the hand of a king. Three dukes, the same tale of marquesses, sixteen -earls, a brace of viscounts, twenty-nine barons, a pair of right -honourables, four great officers of state, sixteen judges of the land, -twenty-two who were honourable, and eleven who lengthened the fag end -of the Scottish household, were there. Besides seventy-seven baronets, -twelve members of parliament, thirty-eight lords lieutenant, a hundred -head of provosts, bailies, counsellors, and deacons, “after their -kinds,” with as many parsons, professors, physicians, and pleaders, -as were sufficient to convert, and cultivate, and cure, from plethora -both of person and of purse, the whole British empire, together with -military men, who had fought and who had not fought, proprietors or -kinsmen of the soil, and burgesses, “simple persons,” swelled the -amount to not fewer than two thousand persons, who had to pass in -wonderful procession before the wondering king. When it was considered, -that the whole of this mighty and motley squad, charged with addresses -to the number of nearly a hundred, each more loyal and laboured than -another, had to pass muster, and read, and retire, in the space of -one brief hour, it was apparent that the official men of Scotland -would have to dance about and deliver themselves with somewhat more -of alacrity, and somewhat less of that slow profundity of bowing than -is usually the case. Dreading that the addresses, from the importance -of their contents, and the orthoëpal powers of the readers, would -of themselves have consumed more than a day, it was wisely resolved, -that the persons who were charged with them should continue enceinte -of them till the Monday, upon which day they should be allowed to -deliver themselves before the throne, or behind it in the closet, -according to their several conditions and importance; and thus the -mighty tide of the levee was undisturbed by any prosing from parchment, -and undisconcerted by any uncouthness of provincial speech. The muster -of beast-drawn vehicles was tremendous; and, though the magisterial -equipages were reduced in their number of cattle, those which they -contained never looked so big in their lives as when they were in -progress to the levee, or so little as when they were fairly there. A -grievous mishap befel their worships the under-magistrates of Glasgow: -The ruler of that city, who never bought or sold any thing less than a -bale of cotton or a basket of figs, could not be expected to ride in -the same carriage with the bailies, many of whom were fain to vend a -sixpenny handkerchief, or an ounce of caraway seeds; so two carriages -were prepared, the foremost for his lordship, and the hindermost for -their not-lordships. The provost entered his state-coach, and both -carriages simultaneously sought their places in the line of procession; -the line threaded its way to the Holyrood; the provost alighted with -true magisterial dignity, and the door was opened to let the bailie -train come forth of their wagon. They had vanished! “Whare are my -bailie bodies?” exclaimed the provost; “I knew they were taking a bit -bowl to keep their hearts aboon; but I didna reckon on their gettin’ -fou upon sic an occasion as this!” His lordship, however, was instantly -relieved by a dozen of chairmen, hurrying across the area, while a -well-known voice was bawling from each chair, “Whare’s the right and -honourable lord provost o’ the wast?” It would be endless to recount -all the little accidents of this nature that rippled the swelling -waves of official joy; but it would be unjust not to mention the wig -and staff of Dundee’s principal and vice. The wig of the principal -which, ungainly as it was, was the most wise-looking thing about -him, had been put under the curling irons before day-break, and thus -was burned and cauterized to the lining in sundry places. These had -been skilfully repaired with court plaster of the most glossy black; -and thus, in reply to sundry pityings of the lacerated head of the -burgh, the official man was forced to make it known, that he was of -peace-seeking disposition, and, instead of a broken head, had only got -a burned wig. The staff of the vice was a matter yet more serious. It -had a diamond head, and the wearer, when at home, contrived to poke -it under his left arm so skilfully, that it shone by all the world -like the star of the order of the golden calf, at the button-hole of -some foreign knight. The worshipful gentleman never dreamt that he -would be prevented from bearing this splendid and symbolic staff into -the presence of the King, and thus, in as far as stars were concerned, -vying in magnitude with the Monarch himself; but he was sadly -disappointed, had to leave the sacred cudgel in charge of the cook at -Mackay’s Hotel, and thus grope his way to the royal presence as grim as -a dark lantern. - -Nothing could exceed in breadth of humour, the countenances of many -of Scotland’s important sons, as they came, with eyes and mouth set -wide to worship and to wonder, into the presence-chamber. Not a few -of them, when they raised their “leaden eyes that loved the ground,” -in lack-lustre astonishment, from the drab-coloured drugget which had -been nailed down by Mr. Trotter as fit carpeting for their feet, beheld -more kings than were exhibited to Banquo in the wizard glass. As is -not unfrequent with men whose wits are neither great, nor altogether -at home, not a few of them mistook the right one; and the portly -Sir William Curtis, who was “dressed in tartan sheen,” with a kilt -marvellously scant in its longitude, and dangling a bonnet, in which -was displayed a grey goose feather of the largest size, took the edge -off the loyalty of a full third; while his great grace of Montrose, who -was drudging at the honours of the day, monopolized another, leaving -only thirty-three and one-third per cent. of the loyalty of Scotland -to be inflicted directly upon the King. It is needless to tell how -brief were the salutations: there were two thousand persons who had -to make their entrée, their bow, and their exit, in about a hundred -minutes, which was, as nearly as possible, one second to each act of -each person; and thus, however discordant might be the bearing of the -different _bodies_, the unity of time was admirably preserved. The -ceremony came upon them like an electric shock, or rather they came -upon it as moths come upon the flame of a candle,--a buz, a singe of -the wings, and down they dropt into insignificance. “Hech, Sirs!” said -a brawny yeoman from the kingdom of Fife, as he attempted in vain to -squeeze his minimum of opera hat upon his maximum of skull,--“Hech, -Sirs! but its quick wark this! We might hae gotten a snuff wi’ him at -ony rate;” and, as he strode across the court, and found himself fairly -without the great gate, he fumbled over his head-piece with his paws, -saying, “I’m thankfu’ that it’s upo’ my shouthers after a’!” Those who -attended the civic authorities, who stuck to each other as closely as -if they had been in their council-chambers at home, wore faces of -the most broad and boundless delight; for, of the men of more ample -calibre, the tories looked blank, because they were elbowed and perhaps -outnumbered by the whigs in the presence of the King. Some of the clods -of the valley lost themselves in the long galleries and cold corridors -of the Holyrood; and, after all was over, and the fatigued Monarch had -retired to Dalkeith, a few of them were heard at the windows bawling, -like Sterne’s Starling, “I can’t get out.” So ended the levee; and -the King and the people rested for the sabbath without any thing of -remarkable occurrence. - -On Monday the hearts of the address men were lifted higher than ever; -and, as the rapid and dumb show in which they passed before the King -on Saturday, had taken off the first and deepest blush of their -bashfulness, they went to the court in very masterly style: foremost, -were a hundred ministers of the Scotch kirk, supported by about fifty -ruling elders of the same; who, having met in solemn conclave in the -Canon-gate church, said to be the most composing and soporific in all -Edinburgh, they moved “dark as locusts o’er the land of Nile” across -the sanctuary, not of churchmen but of insolvent debtors, approached -the presence, bowed themselves with more than priestly reverence, and, -by the mouth of David Lamont, D.D., their moderator, poured the honey -and the oil of their adulation into the royal ear. Spirit of John Knox, -wert thou then on the watch! and didst thou mark the silken cords in -which thy degenerate sons were drawn to bend the knee before an earthly -Monarch! Yes, how wouldst thou have exclaimed that the gold of the zeal -of thy church had become dim, and the fine gold of its independence had -changed, if thou hadst heard thy backsliding children tempering their -temporizing address with the miry clay of earthly politics, calling -the King “the bulwark of the church,” and promising to labour, not for -the conversion of sinners, or for the glory of Him whom thou didst -account the only Head of the church, but “to impress upon the people -committed to their care, a high sense of the invaluable blessings -of the glorious and happy constitution?” But, boldest spirit of the -reformation, be not offended,--Think on the difference of the times. -The times in which your earthly lot was cast, were times of wrestling -and of reformation,--they required the heart of steel, the eye that -turns not aside, and the hand which is never slackened; but the lines -of thy followers have fallen in pleasant places, they have become full -of the fatness of the earth, and therefore they recline at their ease -under the refreshing shadow of temporal power. - -After the Scottish kirk, came, laden with wisdom, the members of the -four Scottish universities; and this having been done, the remaining -individuals and classes of men who were charged with courtly sayings, -disburthened themselves in the closet behind the throne; and the paper -thus accumulated, having been deposited for use, this act of the drama -closed, leaving less upon the memory than had been anticipated. - -The monarch having thus opened a levee for the honour of his Scottish -subjects generally, and allowed her official men to drop their honeyed -papers and parchments at the court and in the closet,--having devoted -two whole days to the hard hands of country lairds, and the greasy lips -of parsons and bailies, it was naturally to be concluded, that he would -be pretty well saturated of salutation from the men of Scotland, and -long for the approach of Scottish women, as the traveller, in the sandy -desert, longs for the green spot and the glassy spring. Nor could the -desire have been wholly confined to his majesty. The anxiety of the -Scottish fair was bent, like the bow of Diana when the arrow is drawn -to the barbs; their preparations, positive and negative, for this high -honour, had been long, laborious and self-denying; and they were not -without feeling that four whole days should not have interposed their -twelve-month-looking-lengths between the sight and salutation of their -King. It is true, that in Scotland generally, and in the Athens in -particular, woman, that grand barometer of civilization, has of late -risen many degrees. The time has not long gone by, at which females -were mere beasts of burden in rural affairs, and young girls were in -many places obliged to ply as ferry-boats. I myself have seen half a -score of stout and sinewy Highlanders lying snuffing upon a hillock -of manure, while their wives and daughters were bearing heavy baskets -of the same to the fields, while all that the lords of the creation -condescended to do was to fill the baskets; and I have been--no, I have -not been, I was only offered to be--carried across sundry Highland -rivers, upon the shoulders of the fairest nymphs which adorned their -banks. But the Athens has got the better of all this, and her daughters -have not only reduced the tyranny of their husbands to “flytings” and -frailties, but have learned to pay them back with interest even in -these. Thus the delay which had taken place in consequence of the grand -parade of the men, and the small extra drill of the official men, by no -means tended to lessen the commodity of curtain-lectures. There were -other causes of vexation: the means by which a sufficiency of beauty -had been procured were more precious than permanent; the delay of -hope not only made the heart sick, but tended to pucker the skin, and, -what was more vexatious than all, these careful dames, after they had -trimmed themselves for the royal salute, would submit themselves to the -salutation of no mere man in the interim. Wherefore, if any casualty -had prevented this glorious feast, or even protracted it, the _primum -mobile_ of the city might have stood still, and the Athens might have -been the Athens no more. - -It being the only time during a century and a half, at the least, -when the daughters of Scotia have had the flattering opportunity -of flaunting their trains, flourishing their plumes, bowing in the -presence of Majesty, and, finally, giving their cheeks to the glory -and honour of the royal basial salutation,--and certainly the only -time when a native royal drawing-room has been held in Scotland, since -she had either much wealth or population to display,--it is not to be -wondered at, that it produced corresponding anxiety among the fair. -A random female here and there may, no doubt, have been in the royal -presence, and there may be one or two cheeks which have before been -made happy by the royal impress; but the greater, by far the greater -part of the roses and lilies of Scotland were, up to this happy 21st of -August, 1822, in virgin, but pitiable, ignorance of so much honour. It -is not to be wondered at, then, that the preparations of this eventful -day had their sources remote in the past, and the hopes of the fair -ones groped their way far into the future; and if they had not made -themselves gay upon the occasion, it would have been alien alike to -the honour of their country and the disposition of the sex. Morning, -noon, and night, had accordingly been spent at the mirror, and many a -projection has been squeezed, and furrow smoothed, in order that for -“Scotland’s glory,” and their own, they might appear as splendid, as -gay, and as bewitching as possible, in the presence of their King and -his nobles, and their own admirers. All this was most laudable; and -as the fair ones, with their eyes, their candles, and their mirrors, -literally frightened the reign of “old Night,” they merited forgiveness -though they encouraged a little of that of “Chaos.” - -So much of the fire of Scotland’s moral electricity, moving in such -prime conductors, could not be supposed to confine either itself or its -effects to the earth. Ere grey dawn, the sky wept at the eclipse of so -many of its moons and stars by the radiance of the Venuses and Lunas of -the Athens rising to their culmination; and, as it had not recovered -in the morning, there was somewhat of pains-taking and pouting ere -the coaches and chairs could receive the whole of their delectable -burthens. Still, however, the ceremony was one which could not be put -off, and so the ocean-swell of beauty collected, and nathless the -drizzling rain, poured its eager tide toward the palace. When they -arrived at the entrée-room, some of the colloquies which they held with -each other were not a little amusing. If I could judge from the general -strain of what I heard of them, the kiss--the downright and _bona fide_ -smack at royalty, without any of the leaven even of suspicion in it, -was the thing which pleased them the most. Each was making sure too, -(for there is a wonderful foresight in the women of Scotland as well -as in the men,) that the jealousy which this high honour would excite, -would procure a goodly harvest of future salutation. Some female Humes -(not in name but in nature,) were propounding “sceptical doubts” upon -the subject; and stating, with tears in their eyes, and terror on their -brows, their apprehension, that it would be “but a sham after a’.” - -One great object with the Caledonian fair seemed to be to prevent, as -much as they could, the possibility of the ceremony’s being bungled, -through the youth or inexperience of those who were to apply it. It -had indeed been rumoured that the King hated all lips but such as had -been mellowed by the suns, and mollified by the frosts, of forty -seasons, and that young girls, as smelling of bread and butter, were -peculiarly offensive to the royal organs; whereupon it was said, -that the young maidens of Scotland were enjoined to abstain from the -ceremony altogether, and that the full grown ones abstained from bread -and butter during the whole period of their drill. - -In consequence, while there never was a royal drawing-room so fresh and -new in the dresses and ignorance of the fair attendants, there never -perhaps was one in which the appearance of those attendants themselves -was more sage and matured. Every lonely tower, in a remote glen, -around whose grey battlements the hollow wind had whistled, “Nobody -coming to marry me,” for more returnings of the falling leaf than it -would be seemly to mention, poured forth its tall and time-learned -damsels,--erewhile as grey as its walls, but now as green as the -lichen with which they are incrusted, and as gorgeous as the sun -whose beams find out the old tower the more easily, and gild them the -more copiously, in proportion to the leaflessness of all around. With -those mingled the dowagers and despairers of George’s Square, upon the -thresholds of whose doors, and the graves of whose hopes, the grass had -for more than moons waxed green apace. Nor were there wanting a few -of somewhat more juvenile an aspect; abundance of manœuvring dames, -who had exposed the precious wares of their own manufacture at all the -marts and bazaars in the island; with other languishing and loving -ladies whose number it were difficult to count. - -But, in their zeal to suit the royal taste in the maturity of the -greater part of the muster, they had rather overshot the mark. If the -tale of that taste says sooth, the word “forty,” which is to be found -in every country, and which, in single dignity and desire, is found -more abundantly in Scotland, and especially in the Athens, than in any -country, is preceded by the words “fat and fair,” which, in that land, -and pre-eminently in that city, are among the _desiderata_. Hence, -there perchance was never collected before a pair of royal eyes so many -tall, gaunt, and ungainly figures, and never offered to the salutation -of a pair of royal lips, so many sunken and sinewy cheeks. In their -costumes, they were uncommonly splendid: sweeping trains of white -satin, over spangled robes of various fancies, (in nowise emblematical -of “white without and spotted within,”) were the predominant costumes; -and, in number and in magnitude, the plumes of feathers which waved -and nodded above, might have furnished all the beds, bolsters, and -pillows, to the court of Og, the giant king of Bashan. In the dresses, -too, there were all the advantage of contrast with the wearers: the -one were as fresh and as new as the others were furrowed and old. And -this did not escape the discriminating eye of the King, who, though he -prudently abstained from all commendation on the score of beauty, was -copious on that of cleanliness. - -In their previous estimate of the royal taste, they had not calculated -with their usual wisdom. To the more sage and skinny dames, the appulse -was so slight and so brief, that before the agitation was over, the -impression was gone; and, of the whole that attended, only one little -and lovely girl could boast of a palpable and positive kiss. - -I could not help being struck with the extreme solemnity of the whole. -There was none of that jaunty lightness of step, and that soft and -flexible twining of body, which I have remarked on similar occasions -in other places. The whole moved on, solemn and erect, as though it -had been the Scotch Greys approaching to a charge, or the Forty-second -to a crossing of bayonets. Their features expressed intelligence in -many instances, and pride in all, but I saw not such that I could call -beauty. Their looks were highly characteristic: they were staid even -to demureness, and they sailed toward the state apartment without a -single movement of the eyes, or any thing which could be called a -smile upon the countenance. Never perhaps did so great and so mingled -an assembly of females display so much modesty,--modesty too which -was not the modesty of subdued fire, but that of coal which seemed -capable of resisting all powers of ignition. In the elder ones, the -mouth had a character which no one could overlook: the days of labour -which had been spent in giving plumpness to the lip were, in a great -measure, rendered unavailing, by the force with which the corners of -the mouth were drawn back, and the firmness with which its thread-like -furnishings were brought together. It seemed indeed that they had -been anxious to bring as much of this commodity to the solemnity, -and set it apart as exclusively as possible for the use of their -sovereign; for, fearful of deficiency in plumpness and breadth, they -had laboured to make up for it in an extension of length; and two deep -and decided curves, hedged it in, as though for the time it had been -parenthetical,--set apart to the service of the King, and fortified by -fosse and rampart against all the rest of the world. - -The space which could be allotted to each for the doing of a salutation -was excessively brief; and what with the solemnity of the ladies, -and the scowling of the heavens, it had more the air of a funeral -procession than of a festive assembly. When it was over, or perhaps a -little before, the daughters of Caledonia found out, that though they -could be gorgeous at a drawing-room, they could not be gay. They did -not indeed look like “fishes out of the water;” but they looked like -fishes that had never been in it. It was so novel in itself, and they -had so exhausted themselves in the preparation, that the parade itself -was gloomy; and though it furnished abundant evidence of the existence -of high talents and higher pride among them, it also afforded proof -that time and change would neither be idle nor in haste, if they were -to be thoroughly prepared for gliding and glittering at court. - -Themselves and their male relatives seemed indeed to have been aware of -this,--to have known that there was another and more appropriate arena -for the displaying of them to advantage; and, though it had not been -set forth in the gazette, I could have discovered, from the looks of -speculation that were quietly exchanged in the proximity, and even in -the presence of majesty, that there would be a chapter of the Highland -fling. Those tender telegraphings were as new to me as any part of the -proceedings; and they led me to observe the unique and characteristic -nature of a modern Athenian ogle. - -The Athenian damsels, or dames, as it happens, cannot have so many of -the soft propensities of the flesh as their more plump neighbours -of the south, not having so much flesh wherein the same may be -contained; but, from all that I could discover, they have not, upon -the whole, less of the _mater amoris_ in them; and being a more firm -and substantial matter--more “bred in the bones” as it were, it is -perchance more deep and more durable. Thus, while the dimple of an -English cheek tells its soft tale of love, the jutting angle of -an Athenian cheek-bone hints at the same; and there is often more -amatory demonstration in a single Caledonian wrinkle, than in all the -blushes of the most blooming dame southward of the Tweed. The extreme -vigilance, too, with which the ladies of the Athens watch each other, -and especially the cat-like lurkings which the plain and decaying have -for those who have more of the species and are more in the season of -bloom, gives a wariness to the character of every woman within that -metropolis, and makes even the most accredited and creditable love an -affair of mystery and intrigue. If a gentleman is detected walking with -or speaking civilly to one lady, eyes, from loop-holes of which he -dreams not, are instantly upon him, and the affair is handed about from -coterie to coterie, as a marriage, or as something worse; while, if he -is seen with two or more, he is a Don Juan of the first magnitude, and -they, “poor dear lost things, are--very much to be pitied indeed.” So -far as I know, they have no tendency to pity themselves in such cases; -but this may be the very reason why they have so much of it to spare to -their neighbours. - -This propensity could not be restrained even by the counter-excitation -of the royal presence; and while everybody upon whom the King was -pleased to smile at the shows (and he was graciously pleased to smile -upon a great number) was _pitied_, or, as it might have been, _envied_, -as the object of regal flirtation, those blowsy country sisters and -cousins, whom awkward accountants and spruce scribes kept lumbering -along the streets upon the resting days, were, in the bitterness of the -Athenian anguish, set down as spouses soon to be. - -A handsome young gentleman from the south, whose form promised love, -and whose appearance bespoke the wherewithal to support it, had brought -down his mother and three sisters to amuse themselves, and see the -sights. The matron, though her family were come to what are in the -Athens termed the “years of discretion,” has still as much bloom as -half a score of the six-flight-of-stairs virginity of that city; and, -it so happened, that there was no family resemblance either in form or -features among the young people. The gentleman appeared at one place -with his mother, at another place with one or other of his sisters, -sometimes with two, and sometimes with the whole; and the quantity -of speculation, and wonder, and pity, and lamentation, which his so -appearing excited, would have drained the tears, and exhausted the -words of fifty Jeremiahs. - -All those circumstances are enough, and more than enough, to impose -upon the amatory signals of the Athenians a closeness and caution, -of which those who live in a more free and liberal state of society -can form no conception; and while they thus force the people to put -on the semblance of intrigue where there is no necessity for it, they -at the same time forward the reality of intrigue in cases of which -perhaps scarcely another people would dream; and thus, in consequence -of the very rigour of the external laws of decorum, the Athenians are, -perchance, in fact and in secret, the most indecorous in the whole -island of Great Britain,--the which would lead one fond of scandal and -of similies to conclude, that the white trains and the spangled robes -were not chosen in vain; but I am a novice in both, and therefore I -shall say nothing about the matter. - -The exhibition of faces and forms, and the actual contact with royalty, -not being sufficient either to show off or to satisfy the ladies of -Scotland, they resolved to make the general attack upon the King with -their heels; and, as the Athens contained no hall ample enough for -showing off the whole at once, and further, as the same parties might -be shown off twice under different appellations, once as the planets of -the peerage, and again as the comets of Caledonia, the assembly rooms -in George Street were destined to be twice trodden by the same feet, in -the two enactings of the Peers’ ball, and the Caledonian ball. These -were not consecutive; but it will be no great anachronism to bring them -together. - -The Peers’ ball took place in the assembly rooms, on the evening of -Friday the 23d of August; and, as there the people were more at home, -and more employed than in the merely state ceremonies, its effect was -at once more pleasing and more characteristic. - -The portico of the rooms was tastefully illuminated, the columns -being wreathed, and the pediments outlined, with golden-tinted -lamps,--the emblems of royalty shining in the centre. The pillars in -the ante-room were twined with flowers, surmounted by emblematical -tablets, over which the dome glowed with coloured lights. The principal -room, tea-room, and refectory, were very handsome: the first had a -platform and throne, covered with crimson; the second was ornamented -with paintings, in water-colour; and the third was well stored with -viands. The whole was simple, but there was an air of freshness, -neatness, and good taste about it. At rather an early hour, say eight -o’clock, the elegantes began to pour in, and the people to throng to -the adjoining street, in order to catch a glimpse of their fair forms -and nodding plumes. By nine o’clock, the rooms were completely filled, -and the downy feathers which now reeled to and fro in mid air, with -the mingling darker lines of the other sex, and the sheen of tartan -and gold lace, and ribbon, and star, and spangle, waved “like wave -with crest of sparkling foam.” If Scotland had honour from the general -appearance and conduct of the people upon this occasion, she had -glory in her daughters. If they had not the light heart and laughing -eye of the daughters of the south, they were fully equal to them in -dignity and intellectual beauty. Their dresses were elegant rather than -splendid, and their movements had perhaps as much of stateliness as of -grace. The sustained and chastened joy which they all displayed, and -the keen glance of intellect and national pride, which mingled with -their mirth, threw an interest over it, which is unknown in lands of -lighter skies, and warmer suns. The noblemen and gentlemen were in -every variety of dress (meaning, of course, every elegant variety). -The duke of Hamilton was splendidly attired in the Douglas tartan. -And _Mac Cailin Mhor_ was most conspicuous in the broad bands of the -_Sliabh nan Diarmid_. The chiefs, too, were in their various tartans; -but Sir William appeared in a plain court suit, abandoning the applying -of “the kelt aërial to his Anglian thighs,” with as much care as he -would watch not to let “lignarian chalice, filled with oats, his -orifice approach.” His majesty came at half after nine, just when the -rooms were in the height of their splendour. He was greeted with a -cheer by the people outside, and most respectfully received by those -within. He remained about an hour, and then retired. Immediately after -his departure, the company passed to the supper-room by sections, but -without any distinction of rank. - -I detail not the dancing, of which, by the way, there was much less -than of promenading; but, in general, they were national enough, to -“eschew both waltz and quadrille, and addict themselves to the good old -orthodox fling.” In this their favourite and characteristic movement, -they showed equal firmness of foot and flexture of limb; and though the -room thinned a little upon his majesty’s departure, the evolutions were -continued till full three hours beyond the “keystane o’ night’s black -arch,” and thus, according to every canon of witchery, the charms of -the ladies were overpowering and triumphant. Notwithstanding the great -concourse of people, and the closeness with which they were wedged -together, there was no confusion; and though a guard of cavalry was in -readiness, it was not in the slightest degree required. - -The Caledonian Hunt ball, which followed some evenings afterwards, had -little of novelty in it, further than that the hunters were habited -in a new uniform of royal invention; and that a sort of cage of brass -wire permitted the whole wondering and waltzing charms of Scotland to -view the King; and at the same time prevented them from pressing upon -him with that ardent closeness which had oppressed and overheated the -royal person upon the former occasion. This ball closed what may be -considered as the exhibition of the King to the people of Scotland -generally; and with it, I shall close this long Section. - - -THE PILGRIMAGE, THE FEAST, THE CHURCHING, AND THE THEATRE. - - “March! march! pinks of election.”--OLD SONG. - - “Now the King drinks to Hamlet.”--SHAKSPEARE. - - “The sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with.” - --ISAIAH. - - ----“The play’s the thing - Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the King.”--SHAKSPEARE. - -In the preceding Sections of this Chapter, I have given a skeleton -of all those acts of the royal drama, in which the whole people of -Scotland were supposed to take a part, and in which the Athens had no -farther peculiar concern than as her locality furnished the scene, and -the pride of her leading men (and women) thrust them forward among the -actors. In this Section I shall have to notice those doings of which -I have just cited the titles, and which may be considered as more -particularly expressing the spirit, or, if you will, displaying the -form of the Athens herself. In treating of these, I shall be able to be -more brief, not because they ought to be considered as at all inferior -in interest, but because, under other forms and titles, they will have -again to come under review. - -The pilgrimage from the Holyrood to the castle, and by Princes -Street back to the Holyrood, seemed, to judge from the state of the -weather, to be peculiarly alarming or offensive to the “prince of the -power of the air,” as well as to the monarch of the British isles. -In all the former doings there had been something beyond the mere -parading in the street. The procession from Leith was a matter of -necessity, and furthermore it was exceedingly novel and interesting -in itself; the levee, the court, and the drawing-room, were part of -the usual machinery of the state; the court before the throne, and -the closet behind, for the receipt of addresses, “according to their -generations,” were what the addressing parties could not have been -happy without, and though these had been disappointed of the honours -and rewards which they had fondly expected would result at the time, -yet they fondly hoped that they had “done a do” which would lead to -great things in the sequel; and even the dances had brought folks -together, and might also have their fruits thereafter; but that the -King should be drawn along the whole length of the Cannon-gate and -High Street, work his way through the ugly gates and awkward passages -to the half-moon battery of the castle, then pull off his hat, give -three cheers in concert with the bawlings of the crowd, and then go -back to Holyrood by a more circuitous route, was so profound a piece -of wisdom,--so much a masterstroke of the good taste of the Great -Unknown, and the sage politics of the Athenian tories, as to be by -much too deep even for royal comprehension. It seemed too, that none -of those counsellors which the King had taken with him from England -could fathom its profundity. Sir William Curtis indeed pleaded the -lord mayor of London’s pilgrimages to Kew and Rochester Bridge, as -being precedents exactly in point; but those who knew the etiquette -of courts better, scouted all precedents which could originate within -Temple Bar,--partly, because they originate with those who arrogate to -themselves the power of closing that gaping portal against the King, -and, partly, because nothing possessed in the city is at all acceptable -but its money. The King himself scouted the pilgrimage as a piece of -idle foolery: declared, that he had seen the assembled people in his -progress to the palace; that he had received the noblemen, gentlemen, -official men, and addressing men, at levees and courts; that he had -sustained a general attack of the ladies at the drawing-room, and -sundry particular attacks at the dances; and that, if his Scottish -subjects were not yet satisfied with gazing at him, he would hold other -levees and other drawing-rooms, till the humblest boors, burghers, and -baillies, with their wives, should pass muster before him, provided it -were done as a King ought to do such things, in his state apartments at -Holyrood; but, that to have him shown along the streets, as they would -show an elephant or a prize ox, would be a degradation both to himself -and his subjects. Having, as was said, expressed himself thus, he sped -away for Dalkeith with even more than wonted alacrity, wishing that he -could be permitted to spend his days in a way somewhat more agreeable -to good sense and his own inclinations. - -The pilgrimage had, however, been resolved on, and those bodies which -it was judged expedient that the King should wonder at, in their -collective capacities, had clubbed their half-guineas, and erected -their booths along the whole line of the High Street; and as all this -had been done without consulting the King, it was resolved to _boo_ and -beseech him into compliance. The King, who had previously known the -persevering nature of the political “seekers” of the Athens, judged -that the easiest way would be to comply with their request, although, -during the whole pilgrimage, I thought he appeared to feel that what -his politeness had made him content to do, could add nothing to his -kingly dignity. - -By this time I had become so little apprehensive of arrowless bows, -and dirks never intended to be unsheathed, and so much accustomed to -tartans and tails, that I pushed myself into the very centre of the -procession; and as there was nothing better I could do, I contrived, by -putting a bold face upon it, and huzzaing, as well to demonstrate my -loyalty as to keep myself warm in the rain, to proceed to the rampart -of the half-moon battery, close by the side of the King. - -As this was the occasion upon which the _people_ of the Athens were to -make their nearest approach to their Sovereign, the preparations for -it were correspondingly general. Notwithstanding the unpropitiousness -of the morning, the streets, booths, windows, and house-tops, were -thronged at an early hour. The members of all the trades, corporations, -and friendly societies, came pressing to the line of the progression -by about eleven, and formed a double line for the progress, each -well-dressed, and armed with a white wand; behind them, in varied -phalanx, was that part of the _posse comitatus_ which could not afford -to pay for windows or seats, and here and there stood a special -constable, or Fifeshire yeoman, mounted. Outside, the ten-storied -houses of the High Street were tapestried with human faces; and to -prevent disturbance, all the cross-streets were filled by cavalry. -About one, the procession began to form in the area of Holyrood, and -the progress commenced a little after two. The procession was formed of -nearly the same individuals who composed that on the King’s landing, -and they held nearly the same places. There was one addition, however, -which excited a good deal of interest: the ancient regalia of Scotland, -the _crown_, said to have been made for the Bruce and thus doubly dear -as a national relic, and the sceptre and sword of state. The regalia -were borne immediately in front of the royal carriage. First, the sword -of state, borne by the Earl of Morton, in lord-lieutenant’s uniform; -then the Sceptre, by the Hon. John Morton Stuart, second son to the -Earl of Moray; and last, the crown, by the Duke of Hamilton, in right -of the Earldom of Angus. - -During the whole progress along the High-Street it rained, and thus -the spectacle was a good deal injured; but still, the immense crowd of -people, their orderly conduct, their happy faces, the immense height at -which some of them were posted, the gorgeous array of the cavalcade, -and, as much as any thing, the antique grandeur of the street, had a -fine effect. The King was every where greeted by shoutings, not loud, -but sustained; and he conducted himself with dignity. Next to the King, -the object of attention was the Duke of Hamilton, who was cheered along -the whole line, partly on his own account, and partly from his carrying -the ancient symbol of Scottish independence. It was well that the first -time that symbol was borne publicly in the streets of the Scottish -capital, after having been missing for a century, should have been in -the hands of a nobleman who feels for, and supports the remnant of that -independence. The robes of the Lord Lyon were so fine, and his coronet -so showy, that he was by many of the people mistaken for the King; nor -did the beautiful black barb which bore the Knight Mareschal want his -due share of admiration. - -Upon the King’s leaving the Cannon-gate, and passing the building -where, in English, in Latin, and in Greek, is recorded the escape of -John Knox from assassination, several buxom and well-dressed damsels -scattered flowers in the street, the music in the mean time playing the -King’s Anthem. The Tron-kirk and St. Giles’ successively tingled their -bells, and every thing demonstrated the satisfaction of the people. The -_bodies_ which had their booths about St. Giles’ now did reverence, -and lifted their voices just as his Majesty was passing over the spot -which long groaned beneath the mass of the Heart of Mid-Lothian. When -the King had arrived at the Castle-Hill, the procession turned aside, -and he passed between the assembled _counties_, who were very fervent -in their demonstrations of joy. He alighted on a platform covered with -crimson, received the keys from the Governor, returned them, walked -over the draw-bridge with a few of his train, was received there by -the grenadiers of the 66th, entered his carriage, (all his attendants -on foot,) and drove to the Half-Moon battery, where, from a platform -erected for the occasion, it was hoped that he would have enjoyed a -_coup-d’œil_ of the whole loyalty and beauty of Edinburgh. - -The day, however, was very unfavourable, a fog shrouded the city, -and it rained heavily; still, the King stood up, waved his hat, and -spoke to the people, while the cannon from the lower batteries of the -Castle, and from the Calton-Hill, and Salisbury Craggs, told the news. -Dark as was the scene, it was most sublime. Through one opening of the -clouds, one could catch a glimpse of Arthur’s Seat; through another, -the smoke of a cannon from the Craggs, and through a third, some tower -or turret of the city. Among these, by the way, the finest is the -monument erected in St. Andrew’s-Square, to the late Lord Melville. -It is a fluted Doric column, with a rich base and capital, and most -appropriately surmounted by a bee-hive, in testimony, doubtless, of -the countless friends and relatives for whom the noble lord had the -means of providing. When the King had escaped from the pleasure of this -inspection, he filed off for Dalkeith-House, and the _pecus_, who had -been ducked and delighted, retired to evaporate the external moisture -by moisture within. The _plebs_ of different places have different -modes of expressing their joy or their grief; those of the Athens, -whatever be their rank or denomination, and whether in weal or in woe, -close the most social as well as the most sad of their exhibitions, by -pouring out a drink-offering, and pouring it out abundantly. - -I must now say something of that act of the royal drama in which the -official and loyal men of Scotland gave, before the King, ocular -demonstration of how substantially they could eat, and how copiously -they could drink. Eating and drinking are, in all civilized countries, -and more especially, perhaps, in the British dominions, so closely -allied with loyalty, that the bason and the bowl would perhaps be its -most appropriate symbols. Corporations have ever been pre-eminent for -those demonstrations of support to the throne; and as the Athenian -corporation is pre-eminent among corporations in the northern part of -this island, so the feastings of that corporation have ever been the -fullest and the fattest. - -A feast of the corporation of the Athens is a thing altogether -different from a feast of the corporation of London. In both places -it is, no doubt, more sentient than sentimental; and the belly must -be put to sleep ere the soul be awakened to heroic deeds; but a feast -of the corporation of London is, notwithstanding all its abundance, a -merely plebeian thing,--it emanates from the people, is partaken of by -the people, and if royal or courtly persons be there, they are in the -humble attitude of guests. It is a matter, in short, not only different -from, but in opposition to, those cold collations which obtain in the -kingly circles; and it is calculated to inspire the people more with -sentiments of independence, and a consciousness of their own worth, -than with that bowing down of the honour for the sake of rising in -office, and that beggaring of the heart for the sake of filling the -purse with the gains of office, which invariably accompany banquets of -exclusive loyalty. The feastings of the Athenian corporation, on the -other hand, are feastings which the people do not originate, and of -which they are not allowed to partake. They are of two kinds,--which -may be distinguished as well as characterized by the two epithets -of “dinners of the flagon,” and “dinners of the scrip;” the former -having reference to nothing else than the filling of the belly, the -latter having an ultimate view to the replenishing of the purse. The -feast of the flagon is by much the more ancient; it is characteristic -of the whole genus of corporation men; and it is because they have a -much greater propensity to feed the flesh than either to cultivate -or to exercise the understanding, that corporations are every where -denominated _bodies_,--as much as to say, that though they may have -souls, these are not worth taking into the account. In ancient times, -when kings held their regular courts in Scotland, and when these -eclipsed all that could be done by the delegated moons of the Athenian -corporation, that corporation had the same leaning toward the people -which other corporations near the seat of royalty are supposed to -possess, and in those days the feast of the flagon was almost the only -one known to the corporation men of the Athens. Now, however, as the -royal household in Scotland has become a mere cipher, and since the -second-hand vessels into which the delegation of the royal authority -has been poured have become such as not easily to be contaminated -by any association, the feasts of the scrip--a sort of clubbing of -stomachs and of tongues among all the Attic worthies, have come into -use, more and more in proportion as the times have been more and more -trying and troublesome, and the price of the expression of loyalty -has been enhanced, upon the ground of its alleged scarcity;--since -this has been the case, a complete separation has taken place even -in the feasts of the flagon, between the corporated bodies and the -uncorporated spirits of the Athens; and in this the “bodies” have -found ample compensation, in the greater frequency of their own -peculiar gastronomizings, as well as in the tagging of themselves -to the tails of the Lord-President, the Lord-Advocate, and the Lord -knows who--keeper for the time being of the secret influence of -Scotland,--who at all times form the tripod upon which the incense-pot -of Scottish loyalty is sustained. - -No better idea of the nature and occasions of the feasts of the -flagon can be given than the well-known one of the bell-rope of the -Tron Kirk. For many years, a bell, which had been carefully cracked -lest the sound of it should disturb the official men, whose evening -retreats were deeply buried in the different closes, was tolled at the -tenth hour of every night to warn the populace from the streets, for -fear they should interrupt the march of that puissant corps of the -city-guard, who paraded the streets after that hour with bandy legs -and battle-axes, to conduct such of the lieges as could afford to pay -for it to any place of amusement they had a mind to visit. Nightly -exercise had worn the rope by which this bell was put in motion: it -broke one evening, and fell upon the head of a bailie who was passing, -rebounded from that without doing any damage, but floored an Athenian -damsel who was under his worship’s protection. This was, of course, -not to be borne; wherefore, a council was summoned, and a feast of the -flagon ordered; and when they had made themselves happy, they resolved -to adjourn till that day se’nnight, at which time they were to meet -and feast again, and receive estimates as to the expense of purchasing -a new rope and of splicing the old one. Having dined a second time, -they read the estimates, which were half-a-crown for the new rope, and -eighteen pence for splicing the old. A matter of so much importance -could not be settled at one meeting of council; wherefore, a second -adjournment and a third dinner were resolved upon. After that third -dinner, the tavern-bill, thirty-three pounds, six shillings, and -eight pence, for each of the three dinners, and the two estimates as -aforesaid, were laid upon the table. The treasurer of the city was -ordered first to pay the tavern-bill, and then to give orders that -the old rope should be spliced, because that would be a saving of -the public revenue, of which as faithful stewards, they ought to be -provident. The feasts of the scrip, again, are different,--bearing -a great resemblance to those associations of placemen, parsons, and -public stipendiaries, who from time to time meet all over the country, -and spend the price of a dinner with the same intention, and to the -same effect, that a farmer sprinkles grain in the furrows of his -field,--that in due time it may yield an abundant increase. During the -war, no sooner was a victory heard of, than away flew those supporters -of the Crown to a tavern, bumpered and bawled, till their loyalty and -every thing else appeared double, and then trotted off to beg a share -of the honour and emolument. If a tax or a scarcity pressed sore upon -the people, those persons were at their dining again, partly with a -view of diminishing the quantity of provision that might fall into the -hands of the enemy; partly because themselves are ever more courageous -in their cups; and partly because a report of their doings at a dinner -would sound much better than a report of their doings any where else. - -Men who had thus from time immemorial rested not only their civic -and their political importance, but almost their civic and political -existence, upon their capacity for dining, in whom it was most likely -the greatest wisdom to do so, could not be expected to let his Majesty -eat his venison and drink his _Glenlivet_ (which unfortunately had -been both furnished by a Whig) at his ease in Dalkeith-House, but -would needs have him see with his own eyes with what zeal they could -cut into a buttock of beef, and with what alacrity they could drain -a goblet of wine, for the glory and the establishment of his throne. -Accordingly, as the following Sunday would be a day of rest, the civic -and other authorities in the Athens resolved that a feast of fat things -should be furnished forth in the great hall of the Athenian Parliament -House, upon Saturday the 24th of August. In preparing the hall for -this occasion, not only had the whole of the Athens been spoiled of -its decorations, but they had been forced to borrow largely at all the -loyal houses in the vicinity. And as it was in old times the custom for -every guest at the humbler Scottish parties to be provided with his -own spoon, his own knife, and his own pair of five-pronged forks, so -upon the present occasion it might be said, that each noble or loyal -visiter lent his ice-pail or his pepper-box. This hall, which is as it -were the vital principle of the Athens, the place where the tongues -of all her speakers are loosed, the pockets of all her quibblers -filled, the curiosity of all her gossips gratified, and the eyes and -wishes of all her fair directed--was made more gay than ordinary for -the occasion; and in the selection of guests, so far as that could be -controlled, care was taken that none should be present who could in any -wise eclipse in wisdom, or in elegance, the loyal lords of Scotland and -of the Athens. Feasting, however motley and contrasted the feasters, -is not a subject to be written about, but, as is perhaps the case with -music and with painting, it is a mere matter of temporary sensation. -Still, however, those who know the strange materials out of which -an Athenian corporation is formed, (and I shall tell those who do -not know by and by,) can easily conceive what an ungainly breadth of -delight the lower extremities of that corporation would feel in being -allowed to gorge themselves till their buttons were starting again, -in the very presence of the King. It was pleasing for them, too, to -hear the notes of flutes and fiddles issuing from those crypts and -holes about the hall whence no sounds are accustomed to issue but the -dronings of the law. The King, with his selected (I am not bound to -say select) guests, had a sort of line of partition, but all “below -the salt,” there seemed to be no law of aggregation. The man who had -fought at almost every degree of the earth’s circumference sat in close -juxtaposition with him who had warred merely with words; he who had -done what in him lay to pull down the glory of the old Athens, was -amid those who would copy that glory for the new; the sinecurist was -at the very ear of him by whom all sinecures are denounced; he who had -ploughed the wave was companion to him who had only tilled the ground; -and the peer and the bailie were on the most friendly footing. Nor was -the varied _status_ in life and expression of countenance, the only -thing which gave richness to the harmony. The sober blush of the heads -of the Kirk, and the sombre gowns of the Edinburgh magistrates, made a -fine contrast with the brightness of stars and ribbons, and epaulettes -and lace, and the mingling colours of the Celtic chiefs. There were not -many in the Highland garb: the Earl of Fife, Sir Even Mac Gregor, and -the Macdonald, were the only three that fell under my inspection; and -from the number of uniforms that every where predominated, the party -had a good deal of a military air. - -In the arrangements too, the senses of the civic authorities, which are -not upon any occasion very great, appeared to be a little bewildered; -for there was no page to carry a bumper from the royal cup to the -Mordecais “whom the King delighted to honour.” - -The only peculiarity of the feast, apart from the number and variety -of the guests, was the _reddendo_ of William Howison Craufurd, of -Braehead, who came with a basin and water, that his majesty might wash -his hands immediately after he had satisfied himself of the dainties -before him. There was a certain knot of persons who struck me as being -determined to monopolize the whole attention of the King; and, upon the -present occasion, two awkward boys, one a son and the other a nephew of -the Great Unknown, assisted the laird of Braehead in carrying the basin -and ewer, but they came and went unheeded. The tradition upon which -this service of the basin is founded, is worth repeating. - -All the Jameses who lived and died kings of Scotland were fond of being -their own spies; and for this purpose, as well as for other purposes, -they were in the habit of travelling the country disguised and alone; -upon which occasions their doings had more of love or of war in them, -according to the disposition of the royal incognito. The rambles, and -amours, and songs, of James V. are well known, and so are some of the -brawls and battles of James II., not the second of England, who fought -by mercenaries for the purpose of slavery, but the second of Scotland, -who occasionally fought in prize battles with his subjects, by way of -experiment as to whether the sinews of a man or a monarch were the -better knit. - -Upon one occasion, a gang of gypsies assailed him at Cramond, a few -miles west of Edinburgh; and, though he fought long and desperately, he -was beaten down. A ploughman, of the name of Howison, who was threshing -in a barn not far off, heard the noise, ran toward the place, and -seeing one man assailed, down, and all but defeated, by so many, began -to belabour the gypsies with his flail; and, having great strength -and skill at his weapon, soon put the gypsies to flight, lifted up -the King, carried him to his cottage, presented him with a towel and -water to remove the consequences of the fray, and then, declaring -that himself was “master there,” set the stranger at the head of his -humble board. “If you will call at the castle of Edinburgh,” said the -stranger, “and ask for Jamie Stuart, I will be glad to return your -hospitality.” “My hospitality,” said the farmer, “is nae gryte things -in itself; and it was gien without ony thought o’ a return, just as nae -doot you wad hae done to me in the same tacking; but I am obliged to -you for your offer, and wad like to see the castle at ony rate. The -King is a queer man, they say, and has queer things about him.” The -stranger upon this took his departure; and the rustic was well pleased -with the idea that he would get a sight of the inside of that strong -and majestic pile, of which he had so long admired the exterior. - -A few days afterwards he repaired to the castle, inquired for “ane -Jamie Stuart, a stout gude-lookin chield, that could lick a dozen o’ -gypsies, but not a score,” was admitted, and ushered into an apartment, -the splendour of whose furniture, and the number of whose company, -bewildered him not a little. At last, however, he recognised his old -guest Jamie Stuart, went up to him, shook him heartily by the hand, -inquired how he did, and expressed a very earnest wish to see the King, -if such an honour was at all possible for a man of his condition. -“The King is present now,” said Jamie Stuart, “and if you look round, -you will easily know him, for all the rest are bareheaded.” “Then, -I’m thinkin’ it maun either be you or me,” said Howison, pulling off -his bonnet, which till then his astonishment had prevented him from -thinking of; “and, as our acquaintance has begun by my fighting for -you, I had better keep to that when you need it, and let you keep to -bein’ King.” “Then, as you are so true and so trusty,” replied the -monarch, “you shall ride home the laird of Braehead.” “I like that -better than twa kingdoms,” said Howison, “but I canno’ accept o’ sae -much even frae your majesty, without gien’ something for’t.” “Well, -then,” said the King, “as long as we are kings of Scotland and lairds -of Braehead, let you and your’s present to me and mine, a basin and -towel to wash our hands, whenever we ask for it.” - -This was the only occurrence which took place to break the dull -activity of the dinner. But when the cup circulated, a ceremony was -performed which delighted the corporation-men of the Athens, and -made the other corporation-men all over Scotland sad through sore -disappointment. The chief magistrate of Edinburgh, who had taken his -dinner as plain Mr. William Arbuthnot, took his drink as Sir William -Arbuthnot, Knight Baronet of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and -Ireland,--the knighthood, as was alleged, having been, for the want -of a sword, inflicted by that much more appropriate weapon, a large -carving-knife, and the baronetage having subsequently issued from the -patent office in the usual form, and for the usual fee. All this having -been done, the King retired, and the corporation-men kept up the feast, -though not so long or so heartily but that all the rest finally went to -their homes _more sober than a judge_. - -After the King had witnessed the devotedness of the Athenian -authorities at the table, it was proper that he should see the devotion -of the people in the church; and here again was one of those scenes -which struck me, and must have struck him, very forcibly, as to the -difference of a free people, and fawning courtiers, corporation fools, -and party slaves. - -Becoming preparations having been made, and the King having been -furnished with a perspective sketch of the church, and a written -programme of the service, it was agreed that the Very Reverend David -Lamont, D.D., Moderator and Spiritual Head upon Earth of the Kirk of -Scotland, should preach before him, in the name and stead of all his -willing and worshipping brethren, while the “men,” the “leaders,” and -the people, should demean themselves with that decorum, which the day, -the service, and the occasion required. - -When the services of the Scottish kirk are performed in a becoming -manner, there is a feeling, a sublimity, and a heavenliness about them, -of which one who considers only their simple and unadorned structure -could form no adequate idea; and when I observed the still and unbroken -solemnity of the service, and the effect which it obviously had, not -only upon those who are accustomed to it, but upon those strangers -who, in whatever predilection they had for one religion more than -another, were wedded to the more artificial and gaudy ritual of another -church--a church which had been at enmity with the Scottish kirk from -the beginning, and which, in dislike to the system of sober equality -among the Scottish clergy, and the democratic nature of their church -establishment, have attempted to hold up their form of worship as cold, -meagre, incapable of stirring up devotion in the hearts of men, and, -by consequence, not so gratifying to the Almighty as the more costly -and complicated ceremonial of others,--I could not help believing that, -of all forms of religion, the simplest is decidedly the best, and that -if the object of the propagators of Christianity was nothing but the -cultivation of the minds and the improvement of the morals of society, -they would carefully avoid all artifice and all show. Those, indeed, -who have considered the correspondence that exists between the forms -of religious worship, and the intellectual culture of the great body -of the people, cannot have failed to observe, that pompous shows and -gaudy ceremonies have ever been the concomitants of general ignorance -and superstition, and that a plain and unadorned system of worship, has -uniformly been characteristic of an intelligent people. - -Scotland is an eminent example of this; and whoever takes the -trouble to investigate the structure of Scottish society will, to a -certainty, find that for half their virtues, and more than half their -information, they are indebted to the presbyterian kirk. Nor is it by -any means difficult to find out the reason: A religion of shows and of -sounds,--of mummeries and of music,--must ever be a religion of the -senses. How gaudy soever the trappings, and how fine soever the music, -they can afford nothing more than a gratification of the senses at the -time. Forms cannot exist vividly but in matter, and when the string -of an instrument ceases to vibrate on the ear, the pleasure which it -affords, however sweet or however delightful, is at an end: they enter -not into reflection; they stimulate not the more rational and permanent -faculties of the mind; and, though they may be made to influence, and -influence powerfully, the passions, while they last, they leave no -lesson which can be useful as a general rule of life. Hence, though the -churches of Scotland be, compared with those of England, rude in the -extreme; though the sacred music of Scotland be often the untutored -attempt of nature, without the aid of flutes, hautboys, and violins, as -in the poorer churches of England, or the solemn notes of the organ, -as in the richer ones; and though the prayers of the Scottish preacher -are generally couched in terms less stately and sublime than those -of the service-book of the English church, yet we have the clearest -proof that can be given of the superior efficacy of the Scottish mode -of worship, in the superior veneration which the people of Scotland, -without any hope or even possibility of earthly reward from it, pay -to the rites and ordinances of religion, and especially to that most -beneficial of all religious institutions, the setting apart of the -sabbath as a day of calm tranquillity and holy meditation. - -I know not whether the Author of these pages, or the Sovereign of these -realms, was the more delighted with the calm, sustained, and religious -air of the people of the Athens and of Scotland, as they both proceeded -from the palace of the Holyrood to the High Kirk, on the morning of -Sunday, the 25th of August. A countless multitude thronged the street, -and filled the windows and house-tops; they were habited in the neatest -and cleanest manner; and their profound silence formed a wonderful -contrast to the noise of their mirth upon the former occasions. There -was not a cheer, a shout, or even a whisper; but, as the King passed -along, the men lifted their hats, and the whole passed with the most -sustained but respectful reverence. They appeared to respect their -King, but to respect him less than they did the institutions of -their God, and the simple sublimity of that religion which their own -perseverance, faith, and courage, had gained them, in spite of the -efforts of courtiers and kings, by whom its integrity, and even its -existence, were menaced. - -The extreme decorum of the people upon this day was the more -creditable, that it had been arranged by none of the authorities; and -those who formed the mass of the spectators were chiefly such as, on -account of their distances or their pursuits, could not obtain a sight -of their monarch upon any other day. - -In the crowd I could distinguish a number, who, from their substantial -blue garments, their broad bonnets, their lank uncut hair, their great -staves, and their shoes dirty, as from a long journey, seemed to be -true whigs of the covenant, who looked upon the descendant of Brunswick -as a chosen one of Heaven’s appointment, whose ancestors had been -the means of preventing that civil and religious slavery which had -threatened them in 1715 and 1745. - -As seemed to be the case with all parts of the ceremony which were left -to the awkward and inexperienced official men of the Athens, the King’s -accommodation, or at least his attendance in church, was by no means -what it ought to have been. He had brought a hundred pounds to give to -the poor, and he had some difficulty in getting it disposed of; and, -delighted with the unassisted vocal music, which was really very good, -he wished to join in the psalm, but he was unacquainted with the book, -and there was nobody to point out the place for him. Still, judging -from appearance as well as from all that I could hear afterwards, the -King was better pleased with the stillness and solemnity of the Sunday -than he had been with the shows of the other days. One reason of this -no doubt was, that, on the Sunday, the King was not so belumbered by -the aspiring loyalists thrusting themselves not only between him and -the people, but between him and his own ease, comfort, and pleasure, -as they had done in all those acts of the drama, of which themselves -formed a leading or conspicuous part; and, as he had formerly expressed -his high approbation of the appearance, and, which sounded more strange -in the ears of a southern visitor, of the cleanliness of the Scottish -people, he had an equal opportunity of complimenting them upon their -decorum. - -After the King had paraded, and dined, and heard sermon, there remained -no further lion of Athens to afflict him but the theatre; which was -arranged for his reception, as well as an Athenian theatre could be -expected to be arranged for such a purpose, on the evening of Friday, -the 27th of August. - -The people of the Athens never have been able, and probably never will -be able, to support a respectable theatrical establishment. The genius -of the Scottish people generally is not theatrical. There are still -many sects of religionists among them by whom the stage is denounced as -a “tabernacle of Satan.” This is by no means confined to the provinces, -or to the more austere or fanatical classes of dissenters; for, at the -time when “I, and the King,” visited the Athens, her celebrated, and -most deservedly-celebrated preacher, of the presbyterian establishment, -was denouncing the sinfulness of stage-plays, both from the pulpit -and the press; and though some of the courtly persons whom fashion -had induced to became churchwardens or elders of his congregation, -threatened to rebuke or leave him, because, in the true spirit of John -Knox, he had preached a homily on kingly duties, in which there was not -much of flattery, while the King was in the Athens, yet they let him -denounce the theatre as he pleased. - -The more aspiring cast of the Athenians lay claim to very superlative -taste in theatrical matters, as indeed they do in every thing; and -hence, they pretend that they do not patronise the theatre, because -they cannot find a company of players, who come at all up to their -standard of histrionic perfection; and they appeal for proof to the -fact, that when any of the grand stars or comets of the London boards -come to them for a night or two, they throng the theatre with their -persons, and threaten to break it down with their plaudits. All this, -however, proves nothing, but that they are unable to support a theatre, -and that the crowding to see a strange actor for a night or two arises -not from taste but from curiosity. The fact is, that, though England -has produced the very best dramatic poet that ever lived, and some -of the best dramatic performers, yet that the drama, as a matter of -sentiment and feeling, and, as it were, of constitutional necessity, -does not tally with the spirit even of the English people; and, as the -Scotch have all the business habits of the English, together with a -much greater degree of starchedness of character, and incapability of -purse, the theatre cannot possibly flourish among them. - -The London theatres, excepting in the case of occasional and accidental -runs upon a particular piece, or a particular actor, are uniformly -miserable speculations for the proprietors; and it will be found, -that even the poor support which the theatres in London get, is given -them, not by the people of London so much as by that vast concourse -of strangers who feel at a loss how to spend their evenings. Before -the people, either of the Athens, or of any other part of the British -dominions, can become theatrical, they must have a little more -relaxation from hard labour than they can at present command. The -national debt, and the immense public establishments, are the real -causes why there are not only no Shakspeares now, but why the heroes -of the old Shakspeare have given place to the wooden or real horses of -a more buffooning race. The people must not only work, but work hard, -during the live-long day; and when they have an hour which they can -snatch from the abridged civilities of social life, for the purpose of -looking at a theatrical exhibition, they very naturally prefer that -which costs them no labour of thought, and which makes them laugh, -to that which would impose upon them fatigue of the mind in addition -to fatigue of the body. To say, therefore, that the Athens does not -support the theatre, because she cannot find a _corps dramatique_ that -comes up to her taste, has no surer a foundation than any other of -those airy structures which she builds as the monuments of her glory. -None of the fine arts, as a matter of abstract study and speculation, -and apart from its contributing to the general comforts of life, can -ever prosper in such a state of society as that of England at the -present day; and if they languish in the British metropolis, where -there is the greatest abundance both of money and of idle people, what -must they do among a people who are comparatively so poor and so -plodding as those of the Athens? If a London merchant, who goes to his -place of business at one, and leaves it at three, does not encourage -the drama, and the other fine arts; what can be expected from an -Athenian special pleader, who drudges at Stair and Erskine, and thumbs -Morison’s Dictionary of Decisions, from grey dawn to dark midnight, -except during the hours that he is occupied in gossiping in the large -hall of the parliament-house, or wrangling in the little courts, and -less niches? It is true, that Mr. Clark, now Lord Eldin, could adorn -his brief with drawings, even in those places,--that the Unknown, who -is only a copying machine in his official capacity, can spin a chapter, -or correct a proof sheet,--and that Jeffery has sometimes been caught -writing an article for the Edinburgh Review, during the time that some -long-winded proser was darkening the case on the other side; but still -all this is done more as matter of business than of pleasure; and -would, in almost all cases, be let alone, were it not for the fee that -it produces. - -Miserable, however, as is the support which the theatre of the Athens -receives, and must continue to receive, the King was constrained to -visit it; however, from the smallness of the house and the number of -those who had legal admission as immediately belonging to his retinue, -or his household, he could be for a long time gazed upon by the -chosen, without any great admixture of the mere vulgar. The play was -nothing; but there was something rather novel in the by-acting. The -great chief of Glengarry, who has made himself conspicuous in many ways -and upon many occasions, and who has proved his descent from Ronald, -the elder of the two Vikings, who came robbing and remained royal in -the Hebudæ, being thus, not only “every inch a king,” as well as George -the Fourth, but a king of a much older and a more legitimate dynasty, -stood up for the royal prerogative of wearing his bonnet, and keeping -his seat, while the band was playing, and the audience shouting, “God -save the King.” For this, he was complained of somewhat angrily, and, -in my opinion, very unjustly; for, if they played and sung “God save -the King,” in honour of George Augustus Frederick Guelph, King of Great -Britain and Hanover, then they stinted others of their due, and showed -a partiality not to be borne, when they did not strike up “God save the -Chief,” in honour of Alexander Ronaldson Macdonell, of Glengarry and -Clanronald, heir to the titles, the virtues, and the valour, of Donald -of the Isles. This was omitted, however, and so after this dramatic -scene, the Monarch of these realms staid not another hour in the -Athens; but merely rested a day in the neighbourhood, and then took -his departure, in manner as shall be set forth in another section. - - -THE NATIONAL MONUMENT. - -“_Si monumentum queriris, Circumspice._” - -Though the laying of the foundation-stone of the “National Monument of -Scotland,” is to be regarded as a mere interlude in the royal acting, -and of course as a mere parenthesis in my outline of the same, yet -it merits a few sentences, not only on account of the curiosity of -the thing itself, but because it throws some light upon the vanity -of Scottish official men in general, and upon those of the Athens in -particular. - -To some people, the idea of building a national monument for Scotland, -or in other words, a monument for the Scottish nation, may seem a -work not of supererogation merely, but of folly; because the Scottish -nation, so far from running any risk of becoming extinct and being -forgotten, is in a very lively and flourishing state; and there are no -people that, wherever they may go, cherish so carefully and proclaim so -loudly, the praise of their country, as the Scotch. But this monument -was intended to answer two very nice purposes,--the one for the glory -of the loaf-and-fish politicians of Scotland, and the other for that -of the Athens. So long as the country was in a state of distress, -and it was doubtful whether the politics of the old or new system -would ultimately triumph upon the Continent of Europe, a very large -proportion of the leading men of Scotland, and of the Athens, joined -the people in being Whigs. As such, they had no immediate share in the -good things of the state; but they hoped that the wheel of hostilities -would revolve, bring the party into office, and so feed them in -proportion to the extent of their fasting and longing. Independently -of their intrinsic value, Whig politics are a much better theme for -declamation than Tory. In that faith, one can talk long and largely -about the majesty and rights of the people, and when not in office, one -can promise as largely as one pleases; while the most judicious plan -for the Tory is to pocket his reward, and thank God; or if he boasts -any thing it must be only to the choice few, and when the inspiration -of a dinner looses his tongue. Under all those circumstances, the -Tories of the Athens, though they had all the substantial things their -own way, were confined to the actual enjoyers of office and emolument; -and the tongues and pens of their opponents were so hard upon them that -they had begun to be afraid to hold even their wonted meetings. Thus -it became necessary that they should do something which should either -win the hearts or dazzle the eyes of their countrymen. The former -was without the compass of their speculations; so they set about the -latter; and after floundering a long time from one scheme to another, -they at last hit upon this wise one of the monument. - -After the requisite number of ladies and gentlemen had licked the -scheme into some sort of shape in private, they held a meeting in the -Assembly-Rooms in George-Street, on the 24th of September, 1819, at -which his Grace of Athol presided; and divers other persons, equally -loyal, and almost equally tasteful and wise, gave their assistance. -The time was well-chosen. It was in the very depth of those political -clouds which, arising immediately from the sufferings of the people, -and remotely, as was supposed, from the wasteful expenditure and -unaccommodating pride of the Administration, were threatening to -burst upon both ends of the island. The object, as set forth in the -resolutions of that meeting, was threefold:--First, the erection of a -monument to commemorate the great naval and military achievements of -the British arms, during the late glorious and eventful war; secondly, -in order to testify the gratitude of the projectors to the Almighty, -they were to connect a church with the monument of the achievements, -and endow two ministers to officiate therein; and thirdly, they -were to set apart a certain number of the seats in this church for -the benefit of pious strangers visiting the Athens. All which being -settled, they set about a subscription for raising the funds. In -those days, however, they were by no means such adepts in political -arithmetic as they have since become, through the labours of Joseph -Hume and others; and though they had their purses, they were neither so -full nor so easily opened as their loyal intentions. As that moment, -the monument to the achievements, the church, and the two ministers, -would have cost them more than a hundred thousand pounds; and thus the -monument, besides its more avowed and desired objects would have been -the monument of all the disposeable cash of the whole of the Tories -of Scotland,--a sepulture and a remembrance of which, they were not -altogether so fond. Wherefore, finding that the subscriptions amongst -themselves were in danger of becoming the monument of the project, they -applied to the General Assembly of the Scottish Kirk. That venerable -constellation of churchmen, after grave deliberation, declared that the -thing was “a most suitable and appropriate expression of gratitude to -the Lord of Hosts,” and forthwith recommended a general address from -the one thousand and one parish pulpits of the Kirk, for the purpose -of obtaining collections and subscriptions from the one thousand and -one parishes. But the parsons were not over hearty in the cause, -and the people were less so; and thus the whole sum produced did not -much exceed a hundred pounds--about two shillings for the prayers and -pleading of each minister. - -Having thus learnt from experience, that the scheme would not do, -either as a party and political measure among themselves, or as a -clerico-politico-religious one in the hands of the ministers of the -kirk, they took up new ground altogether, and addressed themselves to -a much more active and promising principle, the vanity of the Athens. -They began with a long and learned parallel between the overthrow of -Bonaparte and that of Darius and Xerxes; and then, coming gradually -a little nearer home, they hinted, that, in his encouragement of the -arts, Lord Melville was the express image of Pericles. This brought -them to the marrow of the subject: Edinburgh was very much like -Athens,--it was, in fact, the Modern Athens, or the Athens Restored; -the Calton Hill was a far finer thing than the Acropolis; the freestone -of Craigleith excelled in beauty and durability the marble of -Pentelicus; the Firth of Forth outstretched and outshone the Egean or -the Hellespont; the kingdom of Fife beat beyond all comparison Ionia -and the Troad; Ida and Athos were mere mole-hills compared with North -Berwick Law and the Lomonds; Platæa and Marathon had nothing in them -at all comparable with Pinkie and Preston Pans; Sir George Mackenzie of -Coull, excelled both Æschylus and Aristophanes; Macvey Napier was an -Aristotle; Lord Hermand a Diogenes; Macqueen of Braxfield had been a -Draco; the Lord President was a Solon; a Demosthenes could be found any -where; and Lord Macconachie was even more than a Plato. Then, to make -the parallel perfect, and indeed to make the Modern Athens every way -outstrip the Athens of old, only one thing was wanting, and that was, -that there should be erected upon the top of the Calton Hill, a copy -of the Temple of Minerva Parthenon, to be called the national monument -of Scotland, as that had been called the national monument of Greece; -and that the independence of the modern city and the modern land should -survive the building of the monument as long as that of the old had -done. - -The proposal took amazingly; for, in an instant, every quill was up -to the feather in ink, every tongue was eloquent, and every lady and -gentleman took an Athenian _nom de guerre_--Alcibiades there, Aspasia -here, till they had Athenized the whole city. Still, however, fine -as the situation was, and fond as they were of it, a Parthenon in -speech was a cheaper thing than a Parthenon in stone; and so, though -Edinburgh had, beyond all doubt or dispute, become the Modern Athens, -it still wanted the temple of Minerva upon the Calton Hill as the -national monument of Scotland. - -It was still wished and resolved, however, that this finishing touch -should be given to the likeness and the glory of the Modern Athens; -and, as the tories, the ministers, and the dilettanti, had all failed -in the accomplishment of the thing, it was resolved to call in royal -aid; and have the assistance of his majesty at laying the basis of this -mighty monument. But even here, there were obstacles in the way of this -slow-going Parthenon: it would be too much to ask the King to lay the -foundation-stone in person; and yet, if he were present, the laying of -it would be a humiliation of the whole tories of the country in the -sight of majesty; for it happened unfortunately for them, that the -grand master of the mystic craft in Scotland was none other than the -whig Duke of Hamilton: But wisdom has many ways of going to work; and -so they resolved that the tory lords should act the King by deputation, -and command the grand master to do the work. This was no sooner thought -of than put in execution. An immense number of the craft formed a -procession, and the stone was laid, leaving the structure to be built -when time and funds should permit. - - -THE DISPERSION. - -“To your tents, O Israel.” - -Never was the philosophic adage of “soonest hot, soonest cold,” more -completely verified, than in the case of the loyal official men of -Scotland. At every point, and in every thing, they had been eclipsed; -in most things they had felt a fancied neglect and disappointment; and -never did Welsh squire or Highland chief, when justled by the London -crowd in Cheapside or the Strand, sigh more for his white villa or grey -fortalice, than they did for a return to the snug honours of their -respective burghs. There was wormwood in the cup which they durst not -throw away, and which they were unwilling to drink,--there were from -each burgh, men whom they had formerly attempted to look down upon, in -consequence of an assumed or presumed influence at court; and those -men had seen with what indifference themselves and their very best -addresses had been treated; and they would not fail to communicate this -to the people at home. Where they had hoped to shine, they had only -smoked; where they had made sure of rising, they had sunk; where they -had counted upon honours and rewards, they had only incurred expense -which their constituents would compel them to pay out of their own -pockets; and where they had sown hopes the most sweet, they could reap -nothing but disappointment the most bitter. It was piteous to see their -looks,--blank and dull enough when they first came in the flush of -their importance; but now doubly blank, and trebly dull. - -“_Et tu Brute!_” The very magistrates of Edinburgh,--that provost -Arbuthnot, the moment that he knew his own was to be the only -“_gentry_” conferred upon a Scottish magistrate, cut his country -cousins. Not even Glasgow herself, notwithstanding her lodgings hired -at a thousand guineas a week, could be permitted to taste so much as a -glass of cold water in the presence of the King. Perth “tried herself -o’ the Gaelic,” and swore all the oaths of the mountains; the little, -side-fidgetting, owl-faced provost of Inverness, who had come “over the -hills and far away” in a dog-cart, in order that he might avoid the -contamination of his bailies, poked out his under-lip like the edge -of a singed pan-cake, and with his right hand gave a most fierce and -ominous scratching to his left elbow. Aberdeen blasted the eyes of his -own cats, and vowed that he would “vote for Josaph Heem, oat o’ pyure -retrebeeshon.” - -Never, indeed, was bold beginning brought to so lame and impotent a -conclusion; but it was a conclusion which any person, except a Scotch -burgh magistrate, might have anticipated. Even the Lord-Mayor of -London is a commoner at Hampstead or Brixton, and what, then, could -an Inverness or a Perth Bailie, or even a Glasgow Provost, be in the -modern Athens, and while the whole of the official men there were -bowing before the King, in the hope of securing all the advantage to -themselves? If neglect be the portion of the man who can afford to -place upon the table at his election-dinner as much turtle as would -float a seventy-four, and who sends over the world, - - ----“Argosies with portly sail, - Like signiors and rich burghers of the flood,” - -what could be expected of the man who retailed pig-tail tobacco by the -yard, or played the leach to the breechless urchins of the mountains? -“Nothing,” will be the answer of any uninterested spectator or hearer; -but to put any corporation man, more especially if he be Scotch, in -possession of this part of his utter insignificance without his own -burgh, or indeed, to any rational purpose, within it, would be as hard -and hopeless a task as ever was undertaken by man. - -Thus the chances are, that though these poor innocents (and to have -beheld their rueful looks on their neglect and disappointment, would -have created bowels in a Turk, or made Burdett pity, if not love, -borough-mongers,) felt all the bitterness of the infliction, they -would profit nothing by the wholesome hint of the lesson,--just as in a -school, the blockheads get all the whipping, and none of the Latin. - -Even as early as the levee day, those persons had found that they were -not in their proper element, and the discovery had become more plain -and palpable every day. Their first and fondest hopes were that each -would be made a peer; then they came down to baronets; next to simple -knights; and again each would have been pleased if the King had given -him a snuff-box,--or even, latterly, a pinch of snuff. But all that -the King gave was an Irish giving--he gave himself no trouble about -them; and the whole court, or, as tails were the fashion, the whole -royal tail, from the Right Honourable Robert Peel, Secretary of State -for the Home Department, to Sir Patrick Walker, Knight, Usher (not, as -some say, of the white feather,) but of the White Rod, followed at the -hinder parts of its royal master. Even with regard to the counties, -there were few of the men in office who met with much regard. A Scotch -lord-lieutenant has commonly a very capacious swallow himself; thus -whatever the minor officers happen to pick up is only at second hand -through him; and upon the occasion alluded to, a few wary wights who -gave themselves airs haughty and tyranic enough, while in their own -localities, might be seen twittering after the great man who made them, -just as Irish beggars twitter after a mail-coach. But hope is like the -sun, it ever rises the soonest, and sets the latest, upon the most -elevated point; and so, ere the last and lingering ray had gone down -upon the pinnacle of royalty, the middle men of Scotland and of the -Athens were dark as Erebus. Long before that feast of which they were -forbidden to eat, and that solitary honour to Provost Arbuthnot which -they were forbidden to witness, the greater part of the “bodies” had -taken their knapsacks and their departure. - -For a day or two previous, they who one little week before had looked -down not only upon great merchants and little squires, but absolutely -upon the nobles of the land, might be found at the corners and -crossings of streets, begging a bow from the poorest of their townsmen. - -On the morning preceding the pilgrimage, I took an early walk round -the Calton-Hill; and I cannot say that I ever met with a spectacle -more ludicrously pathetic than the chief magistrate of a royal burgh, -who sat in brown and stony meditation there. A large stone formed his -seat; and, but for his resemblance to human nature, and the chain of -office that was about his neck, I might have supposed that the seat -and the sitter were of the same senseless material. The north-east -wind swept coldly upon him, but he appeared to heed it not; as little -did he notice me, as I went close up to scan his singular appearance. -In shape, in size, and in colour, his face more resembled a brick than -any other similitude that I could find. One hand hung upon his knee and -held a snuff-box, by the inscription upon which I could perceive that -he had been a colonel of volunteers; while the other hand, arrested -in middle course, as it bore its load from the silver to the brazen -repository, was relaxed in its hold, and dropping upon the cravat -that with which he meant to powder the intellect. His speculationless -eye was directed across the blue Firth, and to the brown mountains, -among which I should presume he had his residence; and, heedless of -any passer by, he was taking up his Ecclesiastes like another Solomon: -“Deil’s i’ that King! could not he hae staid at hame, and let us -continue to tell him a’ abaut the countrie? We hae put ourselves to -nae sma’ fash an’ expense, and it has a’ come to a bonnie upshot. Our -business negleckit, half the siller cuinzied out a’ our ain pooches, -naething but lookit doon upon here; an’ a’ for the sake o’ bein’ -taunted and worried by the folk at hame, for sax months at the least.” -Thus saying, he bounced up, buttoned his coat, trotted away to the -coach-office, and, instead of returning at the tails of four greys -as he had come, was fain to ride outside the stage-coach, and smuggle -himself into his burgh under cloud of night. - -The rout soon became general: Glasgow, in great wrath, took her coach, -and her lamentation, and drove so furiously, that the cries of “make -way for the duke,” and “stop thief!” resounded alternately at the -hamlets and turnpike-gates; while the echo of the western city, emptied -as it still was of a great part of its inhabitants, was the most -dismal that can be imagined. Aberdeen tarried not the wheels of her -chariot, until she had reached her own Castle Street; where the answer -that she made to the many inquiries as to what she had gotten was, -“It wad nae mak ony body vera fat.” Nor was disappointment the only -misery against which they had to bear up. Perth got her head broken -by thrusting herself in the way at the peer’s ball. Poor Dundee got -her pocket picked at some place she did not mention. Inverness was put -on quarantine when she went home. Inverbernie found that during her -absence, a radical barber and breeches-maker had established himself -next door, and monopolized the whole custom; and, in short, every -one had a tale of woe, which, while it pleaded for pity, found only -derision. - -Towards the close of the exhibition, a number even of the people seemed -to get heartily tired of the business; and notwithstanding all the -scramble that was made by those whose interest it was to preserve -appearances as much as possible, every succeeding act fell off in -interest, and, had George the Fourth remained in the Athens for but -one brief month, it is probable that the people of Scotland would have -returned to their own homes, and the Athenians to the worship of their -own idols. - - -THE PARTING. - -“Adieu, Adieu, Adieu! remember me.--SHAKSPEARE.” - -The streets of the Athens, which had been thinning of people ever since -the King’s arrival, were, on the morning of Friday the 30th of August, -the day on which he was to take his departure, as still and silent as -though the chariot-wheel of majesty had never been heard in them. The -constables, lacqueys, and laced porters at the gates of the Holyrood -had dwindled to a small and feeble remnant; no merry archer, in broad -bonnet of blue, and doublet of green tartan, demanded the pass-word, -with bent bow and pheon ready for the string; the foot of the casual -house-maid wakened the old and melancholy echo in its deserted halls; -and those apartments which were so recently gladdened by the gorgeous -train of the King, and made lovely and gay by the presence of all that -Scotland could boast of the fair and the noble, were in sure progress -to being as usual “furr’d round with mouldy damp and ropy slime,” over -which the faint recollection (for even then it was waxing faint,) that -the King had been there, “let fall a supernumerary horror,” which, to -those who during the King’s stay had been raised to office, and put on -the guise of courtiers, only served to make the night of his absence -“more irksome.” The cannon, which, for the previous fourteen days, had -ever and anon been pealing royal salutes, began to be dragged from the -heights of Salisbury Crags and the Calton Hill; and the royal standard -was taken down, leaving the bare widowed staff bleaching in the air. -The guns of the venerable castle too, had subsided into the common -office of chronicling the several holidays and anniversaries, as though -they had been a mere kalendar; the last booths and benches were in the -act of being pulled down; and, excepting in shop-keepers’ books, in the -blackening of a few houses in the illumination, and in the baronet’s -patent of Sir William Arbuthnot, and the knighthood of Raeburn, a -painter, and Fergusson, deputy-king of the Athenian beefeaters, the -Athens retained no external trace of the royal visit, even when the -royal cavalcade was barely escaping from the suburbs. - -The people were intoxicated with its coming, and seemed for a time -to have dreamed; but the dream had melted away, and the interest -seemed to be measured exactly by the time that the King had to remain. -Every day it waxed less and less, till, on the day of his departure, -it had vanished altogether. I say this, of course, of the people -generally,--of those who, in their minds and their circumstances, are -independent, and not of them who basked in the sunshine of the court, -or had realities or hopes from the royal munificence. These, of course, -followed after the King to the last, and conveyed him to his barge, but -the people stood by with the most provoking indifference, and, to the -broadest hints that they should shout, returned only a few scattered -murmurs of approbation. They turned to each other, and talked of the -passing splendour as if it had been a common spectacle. At the same -time, the King himself, and not the mere pomp, was certainly the object -of their attention and solicitude. “Hech,” said the old bonneted sire -to his neighbour, as the King passed them rapidly on the beautiful -lawn at Hopetoun House, “Hech! an’ so that’s the real descendant -o’ Brunswick, wha preserved us the Declaration of Rights, and the -Protestant Succession, whilk allow ilka man, gentle and simple, to hae -the keepin’ o’ his ain body, and, what’s muckle better, o’ his ain saul -and conscience. God bless him, an’ keep him frae evil counsellors, and -sinfu’ neebours, for they say that the gryte fouk about Lunnon are no’ -just what they should be.” Thus did the rustics hold converse with one -another; and it could not be expected that persons who had their minds -in tone for such remarks, could bawl and shout like the unreflecting -rabble, whose tongues, were it King George or King Crispin, would be -equally loud. - -That the loyalty of official men, of all conditions, in Scotland, is -as fawning and obsequious, as in any country under the sun, I could -not fail to observe: as little could I fail to observe, that that of -the people of Scotland is of a very different character, and not to -be judged of by their shouting or not shouting at a royal pageant. -With them, loyalty is, like every thing else, a matter of reason and -reflection, and not of mere impulse and passion; and they never lose -sight of the original and necessary connexion between the King and -the people. They do not look upon the King as one who is elevated -above man and mortal law, and who holds a character directly from -Heaven, in virtue of which, he can, at his pleasure, and without being -accountable, put his foot upon the neck of millions of the human race. -They consider him as originally set up by common consent, and for the -common good, and they admit of the law of lineage and succession just -because it saves the chance of civil war, and gives a centre and a -rallying point to the strength and energy of the country. - -The melancholy, which the now deserted state of the Athens, contrasted -with its recent bustle and activity, was calculated to produce, was -increased by the day of the King’s departure being one of the most -gloomy and comfortless that it is possible to imagine. The wind -alternately swept in hurricanes which drove immense masses of clouds -over the city, and died away in dead calms which allowed those clouds -to retain their positions and pour out their contents in torrents. -Early as was the season, the leaves from the few trees in the vicinity -of the Athens had begun to fall; and, as the wind freshened, they -coursed each other along the dirty and deserted streets in ironical -mimickry of those processions by which they had so lately been filled. -It was no day either for examining the still life of the Athens, or -for studying the manners of the Athenians; and so, as my chief purpose -had been delayed by every display during the King’s visit, I thought -it just as well to see the end,--to mark the difference of feeling and -expression that the people would have at the time of a King’s coming -and at that of his going. Accordingly, I set out for Hopetoun House, -where royalty was to be refreshed, ere he again attempted the waters. - -It had been expected, that the King would grace with his royal -presence, Dalmeny Castle, the beautiful seat of Lord Roseberry, but he -contented himself with a drive through the grounds. Nor was the day -such as to permit him to see the prospect in descending Roseberry Hill -to Queensferry. The view there is peculiarly fine, and to Scotchmen it -must be highly interesting. Immediately below is the Forth, spotted -with islands and covered with shipping. To the left are the rich -woods and extensive demesnes of Hopetown, with the ancient burgh of -Queensferry at their entrance. To the right, are the bolder shores of -Fife, over which rises the beautiful ridge of Ochills. The towers of -Stirling, long the seat of kings, rise in the centre; and at no great -distance is the field of Bannockburn; and to the right, amid the grey -pinnacles of Dunfermline, sleep the ashes of the Bruce. Further off -Benledi, Ben-an, and Ben-voirlich raise their lofty crests, and the -noble peak of Ben-lomond pierces the most distant cloud. Altogether it -is a scene worthy of royal attention, and within its ample circuit are -countless recollections not unworthy of kingly meditation. The place -where Græme’s Dyke set bounds to the ambition of the Romans, till the -Caledonians fell a prey to luxury and corruption, may tell that the -strength of a people is not in walls and ramparts, but in courage, in -virtue, and in freedom. The stone near the banks of Carron, where the -royal standard of Scotland first was displayed triumphant after years -of suffering and humiliation, and the spot at which the battle-axe of -Bruce cleft the helm and head of the invader’s champion, tell what may -be done by an independent people, under the conduct of a brave and -virtuous prince; the veneration with which Scotchmen yet look towards -the crumbling ruins of Dunfermline, proclaims that the patriotism of a -King far outlives mere pomp and tinsel; and the fields of Falkirk and -Sherriff-muir, might have whispered in the ear of George the Fourth, -how hard Scotchmen had struggled in order that his family might wear -the crown. It seemed, however, that Nature had refused his majesty a -glance of the talismans of these recollections; and that, as he had -confined his attentions (we mean his private attentions, which, of -course, are exclusively at his own disposal,--in his public displays he -was equally attentive to all,) to one family or party, so the glories -of Scotland were shrouded from his view. During the whole day, a thick -cloud lowered over the western horizon, through which only the nearest -summit of the Ochills was but dimly seen. When his majesty came to -Queensferry, it seemed as if “Birnam Wood had come to Dunsinane,” for -the whole fronts of the houses, with their appendages, were covered -with boughs; boughs too were hung across the street, and showed like -triumphal arches turned topsey-turvey, as in sorrow at the departure of -the King. A small platform was erected at Port Edgar, a place a little -to the west of Queensferry, about which there is some idle tradition -of an ideal kingly visit, and deliverance from shipwreck. Thence to -Hopetoun House, a distance of about two miles, a road was now made -along the margin of the Forth. In the halls of the gallant Earl, a -_dejeunér à la fourchette_ was prepared for the King, a select few of -the nobility, and many of the neighbouring gentry. The country people -had assembled on the lawn, to the amount of some thousands, and were -regaled with two or three butts of October. - -The King arrived at the place of embarkation about three o’clock, -walked to the platform, leaning on Lord Hopetoun’s arm, and was -received on the platform by the venerable chief commissioner, Adam, as -convener of the Queensferry trustees. He took his old friend cordially -by both hands, and was by him conveyed to the royal barge, which he -entered, and reached the yacht in about six minutes. Although the -King’s “last speech” had been hawked through the streets of the Athens -in the morning, there is no evidence that he made one; and, indeed, -gradually to its close, the whole matter had melted away, like a -dream from the recollection of the half-awakened. Scarcely, too, had -his majesty got on board the yacht, when the dark clouds veiled his -whole squadron like a curtain, and the incessent pelting of the rain -scattered the remnant of the people. - -It was with some difficulty, and at a late hour, that I was able to -return to the Athens; and when I arose on the following morning, and -sallied out to begin my survey, the contrast was too strong for my -feelings. The whole line of George Street was unbroken, except by the -hoary form of a beggar crawling along in front of those assembly-rooms -which had lately been so gay; and the trim and active figure of the -editor of the Edinburgh Review, who, with a great bundle of law-papers -under one arm, and a new book under the other, shot along with as much -rapidity, as though the most strong and skilful of the archer-band -had discharged him from his bow. Queen Street was desolate; and in -King Street, the only thing that I could notice was one or two of the -personages who had lately flaunted their tails as highland chiefs, -taking leave of their law-agents, with downcast and sorrowful looks. -The regalia of Scotland were again consigned to their dull and greasy -apartment in the castle; the High Street, which so recently had rung -with the acclamations of serried multitudes, now echoed to the grating -croak of the itinerant crockery-merchant, and the ear-piercing screams -of the Newhaven fish-wife. The gewgaws, which for the last two weeks -had glittered in the windows of the shop-keepers, had again given place -to sober bombazines and webs of duffle; and the shop-keepers themselves -were either leaning against the posts of their doors, and yawning to an -extent which would have thrown any but Athenian jaws off the hinges, -or sitting perked upon three-footed stools within, casting looks, in -which hope formed no substantial ingredient, upon the long pages which -their country friends had enabled them to write in their day-books; -and of which, to judge from appearances, it was pretty plain that the -term of payment would be to the full as long as the amount. Every -where, in short, that I came, there was an air of desolation; not by -any means that the Athens was mourning for the departure of the King, -for among the few persons who were visible, his name was not so much -as mentioned, but in her own appearance she was mournful indeed, and -though she retained the same form as during the display and rejoicing, -her spirit seemed to be clean gone; and it was quite evident that, in -order to catch the average and peculiar likeness of this boasted city, -I must tarry till the present appearance had passed off, or remove to -a distance, till the natural one should return. - -I preferred the latter alternative, and resolved, after resting for -that day, to forget both the glory and the gloom in a month or two -among the Scottish mountains; and then return to the Athens, when the -return of business, of people, and of prate, should have been brought -back to their ordinary channels. - - - - -CHAPTER IV. - -THE ATHENS AND THE ATHENIANS IN GENERAL. - - - “A city set on an hill, which cannot be hid.” - -IN point of diversity of situation and beauty, and durability of -building materials, few cities have the same advantages as the Athens; -and I know of no city, of which the general and distant effect, upon -what side soever one approaches it, is more picturesque and striking. -But, as is the case with most things that look well as wholes, one -is miserably disappointed when one comes to examine the details. The -ground upon which the Athens is built bears some resemblance to a fort -with a ditch and glacis. The Castle and High Street, with the clustered -buildings on each side, compose the fort; the Cow-gate on the south, -the Grass Market on the west, and the North Loch on the north, form -the ditch, which bears some resemblance to a noose thrown round the -Castle, and having the ends stretching away eastward by the Holyrood; -and beyond this ditch the glacis slopes toward St. Leonard’s, the Loch -of Duddingstone, and the Meadows on the south, and toward the water -of Leith on the north. The central division, although its situation -be very airy, and also very favourable for cleanliness, has nothing -to boast of in either of these respects. The houses are so closely -huddled together, that, excepting the High Street itself, which is -rather spacious, the inhabitants may almost shake hands from the -windows of the opposite houses; and they are built to such a height, -that scarcely a glimpse of sunshine can find its way within two storeys -of the foundations. In all this part of the Athens, there seems to be -the greatest dislike to subways and common sewers; and thus, unless -when the High Street is washed by a torrent of rain, it is by no means -the most pleasant to perambulate. The southern ditch, or Cow-gate, -is, throughout its whole extent, as filthy and squalid as can well -be imagined; and, with the exception of a few public buildings, and -one or two little squares, there is not much to be commended on the -glacis beyond. Indeed the whole, southward of the North Loch, which -the Athenians style the sublime part of their city, is more remarkable -for the sublimation of mephitic effluvia than of any other thing. The -new town again, or the portion between the North Loch and the water of -Leith, is as dull as the other is dirty. The principal streets consist -of long lines of stone building, without any break or ornament except -wicket-doors and trap-hole windows, which render the whole very heavy, -and induce one to believe that they are constructed with the intention -of being as inaccessible and dark as possible. Princes Street, which is -a single row, looking across the tasteless and unadorned gulf of the -North Loch toward the beetling and shapeless masses of the old town, -had originally been intended for private dwelling-houses, at the rate -of a whole family per floor. Circumstances have changed, however. The -Athenian fashionables (contrary to the natural tendency of the Scotch) -have moved northwards; their places have been supplied by drapers from -the Lawn Market, barbers from the Parliament Stairs, and booksellers -from the Cross; and, as the immense weight of tall stone-houses renders -the alteration of the ground-floor dangerous, without taking down and -rebuilding the whole, the expense of which would be very great, Princes -Street is perhaps the most tasteless and clumsy line of shops in the -island of Great Britain; while, so anxious are the people to huddle -upon the top of each other, that it is not uncommon to find four or -five shops for very opposite kinds of wares, in a pile up and down -the same stair-case. George Street is the most gloomy and melancholy -that can well be imagined; and a walk along its deserted pavements is -sufficient to give any one the blue devils for a week. Queen Street -is longer, but not a whit more lively; and, though the view from it -be both extensive and varied, it seems no great favourite with the -Athenians. Farther to the north the buildings are newer, and there is -occasionally an attempt at the recurrence of architectural ornaments at -the end of certain lengths of the buildings; but these ornaments want -taste in their form, and force in their projections, and thus increase -the poverty of the effect. Throughout the whole private dwellings of -the Athens, you are impressed with the cold eternity of stone and -lime, and you look in vain for that airy elegance, that rich variety -of taste, and that repose of comfort, which you find in other places. -Villas, self-contained houses, and snug or even decent gardens, seem -to be held in the greatest abhorrence. You meet not with one of the -delightful little boxes which are scattered round London by thousands, -and of which there are always a few in the vicinity of even third-rate -towns in England. The ambition of the Athenians appears to be, to make -every four stone walls a joint stock company, as dull, as tasteless, -and as heavy, as a stack of warehouses in Thames Street. - -Of all the objects of Athenian detestation, the greatest, however, seem -to be decently laid out pleasure-grounds, and trees. Strangers used -to say that the rustic Scotch cut down all sorts of bushes, because -ghosts and spirits whistled in them on windy nights; and really, when I -looked at the many fine situations in and about the Athens, which the -Athenians have taken particular care neither to improve nor to plant, -I could not help thinking that this superstition, now banished from -every province in Scotland, has taken up its abode in the Scottish -metropolis. True, they have a public walk round the Calton-Hill, but -that is merely a thing of yesterday; and though they have placed upon -the top of it a monument to Lord Nelson, modelled exactly after a Dutch -skipper’s spy-glass, or a butter churn; an astronomical observatory, -tasteful enough in its design, but not much bigger than a decent -rat-trap, or a twelfth-cake at the Mansion-House; and are to build “the -National Monument;” yet they have never thought of planting so much -as a thistle, but have left the summit of the hill in all its native -bleakness, and allowed it to be so much infested by lazy black-guards -and bare-footed washerwomen, as to be unsafe for respectable females -even at noon-day;--while after dusk this, the most fashionable -promenade of the Athens, is habitually the scene of so much and so -wanton vice, that instead of an ornament to the city, as it might -easily be made, it is a nuisance and a disgrace. - -The royal precinct of the Holyrood, which occupies a piece of rich -level ground about the palace, and which stretches a considerable way -up the romantic heights to the south, is, one would think, a chosen -place for taste to display itself upon; and when there are taken -into the account the boast of the Athenians that their Holyrood is -the finest royal palace in Britain, and that other boast which is so -habitual with them that there is no need of repeating it, one would -imagine that among all their boasted improvements the royal precinct -would not have been overlooked; but all that they appear to have done -for it has been to make it as dirty and as desolate as ever they could. -The whole filth of the old town (and that is no small commodity) is -collected in cesspools within a few yards of the palace; and lest -that should not be grateful enough to the Athenian olfactories, a -considerable portion of the adjoining ground is set apart for the -collection of manure from all places. Upon the other parts of the -royal domain, about half a dozen of scraggy and withered trees, and -an old thorn-hedge, more than half of which was when I viewed it -reposing in the lap of its neighbour ditch, are the only attempts at -landscape-gardening; and the grand-children of those by whom they were -planted must, by this time, be in their graves or their dotage. - -Salisbury Crags, again, are a natural object which the people of a -less classical city would not only adore, but adorn by every means in -their power. The Athenians act differently; their rulers hew down the -picturesque masses of basalt, sell them at so much a cart-load, for -paving the streets and Mac-Adamizing the highways, and put the proceeds -into that bottomless box called the “common gude.” About midway up -that bold front of these cliffs which looks towards the city, there -is what may be termed an accidental public walk. It has been formed -by the cutting away of the rock above for the purposes of gain, and -the tumbling down of the smaller fragments which were not saleable. -When the Athenian authorities were alarmed at the Radicals, and -bestirred themselves in getting a general subscription for the relief -of those whom the changes consequent upon the late war had thrown out -of employment, a few labourers were set to work on the middle of this -walk; but they had no plan and no superintendant, and the funds were -exhausted before it could be made accessible at either end; while the -whole face of the Crags, instead of being tufted with brushwood and -festooned with creeping plants, as might have been done at very little -expense, is as naked as--the shame of those who let it remain in its -present condition. - -The meadows southward of the city, and the adjoining common called -“Bruntsfield-links,” are not in much better condition. At some period, -indeed, a walk or two had been formed in the meadows, and some hedges -and trees planted, but neither the one nor the other have been attended -to; while the grass is in so marshy a state that the cows, to which -it is almost exclusively assigned, can with difficulty make their way -across it. The whole extent of the North Loch, too, was till very -lately, and great part of it is still, a putrid and pestilent marsh, -at once offensive to the eye, and injurious to the health; and indeed, -throughout the whole compass of the Athens, there is scarcely a tree -or any thing green, except grass in the melancholy streets towards the -meadows, and moss upon the dank walls of several of the more low and -squalid dwelling-houses. - -Notwithstanding all this, there are few places that boast more of their -improvements than the Athens; and not many in which the people have -been made to pay more upon that score. But either there has been a -total want of skill in the projectors, or a total want of economy in -those who had the execution,--if indeed there has not been both. I was -told repeatedly, that every scheme and measure to which the Athenian -authorities give the name of a public improvement, is uniformly a job -for the benefit, not of the public, but of some party or individual; -and really, comparing what is said to have been expended with what has -actually been done, I can find no other theory that will sufficiently -explain the facts. The bell-rope of the Tron-Kirk appears not to have -been the only case in which a hundred pounds’ expense has been incurred -for the purpose of saving a shilling. - -Even in her public buildings, the Athens has little of which she can -boast. All the places of worship belonging to the established Kirk -are tasteless; and the most modern ones are the most so. St. Giles’ -Cathedral is a black, shapeless, and ruinous mass, stuck round with -booths and police-officers; and when one has said, that the portion -of it set apart for public worship as the High Kirk, has a handsome -old roof spoiled by tasteless painting, and a square tower with an -imperial crown, which looks well at a distance, and not absolutely -ill when one is close to it,--one has about summed up the whole of -its merits. Respecting most of the other Presbyterian churches, the -less that is said the better; the Grey-Friars, situate south of the -Castle, has an interest with the more devout people of Scotland, from -the tombs of the martyrs that are in the adjoining burial-ground; and -St. George’s Church, which terminates the street of the same name, -westward, is perhaps the most expensive and unseemly abortion of modern -architecture. Public monuments in the Athens there are none, except -Nelson’s (formerly mentioned) on the Calton-Hill, and Lord Melville’s -column in St. Andrew’s Square; and it is not the fashion of the Athens -to consider her burying-grounds as sacred, or to set up memorials for -the illustrious dead. If her plan gives her as much trouble as this -would do, it is trouble of a different kind: she keeps down, as much as -she can, all those who are not either illustrious already, or have not -something to confer, as long as they are alive; and when they are dead, -she gives herself no more trouble about them. - -Of her other public buildings, the College is the largest; but -as the plan was far beyond her means, it stood a ruin for a very -considerable period, and will ultimately be a piece of patchwork in -consequence of a deviation from the original design. Still, however, -if it could be seen, the entrance front is majestic; and the opposite -square (especially the whole façade in which the Museum is, and the -rooms for the Museum itself) is singularly chaste and beautiful. The -Register-House is a neat building, and seen to considerable advantage; -but there is something trifling in the whole air of it. - -That frost-work style of architecture, which out-Goths all the Goths -that ever existed, has visited the Athens, in some of its most tawdry -and fantastic specimens,--the chief of which are an episcopal chapel -near the west end of Princes’ Street, and another near the east end of -Queen Street, of which it would puzzle a conjuror to point out the most -ridiculous. - -Even the Castle has suffered the infliction of the modern Athenian -taste, by the erection of two or three piles within its ramparts which -have every appearance of being cotton manufactories. So much for the -still life of the modern Athens. - -To give a general idea of the Athenian people, is by no means so easy -a matter. They take their character from a number of circumstances; -and the circumstances cannot be properly explained without an allusion -to the character, nor the character rightly appreciated without a -reference to the circumstances. If one dwell upon the general subject, -one is forced to assert without any means of proving; and if one take -up a single particular, although the proof be perfect in as far as that -is concerned, it is difficult to establish the connexion, and point out -the effect, with regard to the whole. To examine society with a view to -determine the general spirit and character of those who compose it, -is like examining an animal with a view to a knowledge of the nature -and operation of the living principle. If we examine it while alive -and in the performance of its functions, we see the results without -being able to understand the machinery; and if we dissect and separate -the different parts, we have the machinery without the results; nor -does it appear that there are any means by which we can obtain a -contemporaneous view of both. - -Thus, I found the character of the Athenians different from that -of the inhabitants of any other city; and I also found many of the -circumstances under which they are placed to be peculiar; but still -I am not prepared to say, that the one set of peculiarities are -altogether to be set down as causes, and the other as effects. The -Athens has, doubtless, stamped upon her people much of their character, -and they have requited her by service of the same kind; so that any -pretension to be profoundly philosophic in the matter would be as -impossible as for my purpose it is unnecessary. - -The leading characteristic of the Athenians, of all ranks, all degrees -of understanding, all measures of taste, all shades of party, and both -sexes, is to esteem their own idols in preference to the idols of every -other people on the face of the earth. Their own situation is the -finest that can possibly be found; and their own mode of improving -it is superior to any that could be suggested. Their men, taken on -the average, excel all others in wisdom, and nothing can any way -compare with the brilliance of their women. In their manners they are -never vulgar; and in their tastes and judgments they do not make half -the slips and blunders which are made by the rest of the world. The -songs of their poets (when they happen to have any) are transcendent -for sublimity and sweetness; and the theories of their philosophers -(of which they are never without a reasonable portion) are ever the -most agreeable to nature, and the most nicely put together. Upon the -latter point they are somewhat amusing; for in no place whatever have -philosophic theories been so often changed, as among the sages of the -succession of schools which, shining from the Athens, have dazzled and -illuminated mankind; and yet, while each of these theories has been the -object of Athenian adoration, it, and none but it, has been the true -one. In politics they have not, at least for a long time, been agreed -in their doctrines, or unanimous in their worship; for in politics, -interest has generally much more to do than principle; and, being by -much the stronger of the two, and pulling opposite ways with different -parties, it has produced among the Athenians, divisions which are as -remarkable as their union of self-adoration in most other things. - -Whence, it may be asked, does this self-adoration arise? To which -I would answer, in the true Athenian manner, by asking where the -affections of a widowed and childless woman, who has no hope and no -chance of being courted by another, are centred. The Athens is a -widowed metropolis: she stands registered in the pages of history as -having been the seat of kings,--she has her walls of a palace, her name -of a royal household, and her gewgaws of a crown and sceptre; but the -satisfying, the fattening, the satiating,--or perhaps, as some would -call it, the stultifying presence and influence of the monarch is not -there; neither is there any vice-roy, or other kingly vice-gerent set -high enough in its stead, to attract the attention, and invite or -command the worship of the people. Thus, she is in herself not only the -capital of Scotland, but all that Scotland has localized as an apology -for a king; and therefore, besides assuming the consequence due to a -royal seat, she puts on the airs of royalty itself, and worships her -own shadow in the mirror of the passing time. She is the only city -in the British islands which is so situated; and this alone would be -sufficient to give her a peculiarity of character, and to make that -peculiarity an inordinate pride. - -Thus the Athens, taking her nominal and her real situation into the -account, is both metropolitan and provincial: with regard to Scotland, -she has the name, and assumes the pride, of being metropolitan in -every thing; and in as far as concerns the administration of the laws -as peculiar to Scotland, and in some degree, also, as concerning the -internal discipline of the Scottish Kirk, she is really metropolitan; -but in respect of Britain generally, she is nothing more than a -provincial city, and the matters in which she is provincial have, to -the full, as powerful an influence upon her rival character, as those -in which she is, or flatters herself to be, metropolitan, have upon -the character which she is anxious to assume. It is not, for instance, -in the nature of things, that she can ever take the lead in matters of -taste and fashion. Wherever the executive and legislative powers of -the state are allocated, it is there that the gay and the rich will -throng; and notwithstanding all the boasted elegance and taste of the -Athens, no Scottish nobleman, or even squire, spends his winter there, -if he can afford to spend it in London. Hence, the Athens is not only -destitute of the source whence fashion flows, but she is also left -without the means by which it could be supported: she is second-rate in -her very nature, and also in those who form her leading society. - -But it follows of necessary consequence, that a place which is -second-rate in fashion and in wealth, must be second-rate also in -every thing which fashion can encourage and wealth reward. A solitary -student who prosecutes a science, or a solitary artist who practises -an art, for its own sake, and with an inferior degree of regard to -present honour and emolument, might perchance succeed better in the -Athens than in the British metropolis. But, as British society is at -present constituted, there are few who have the means, and apparently -not many who have the desire, of proceeding in this way; and therefore, -the place which attracts the fashion and the wealth, will also attract -the superior talent, in consequence of the superior means of rewarding -which it possesses; and upon this principle, it would be just as vain -for the Athens to hope to rival London in any of the liberal arts, or -elegant amusements, as it would be for the Scotch lords of Session, -to rival the upper House of the British Parliament, the George Street -Assembly Rooms to rival Almack’s, or the speeches of the Scotch -advocates to be read with as much attention as those of the leading -orators in the House of Commons. - -Of those classes of persons whose professions fix them in Scotland, -the Athens, if she manages her patronage honestly and judiciously, may -always command the best. The judges and pleaders in her supreme court -ought to be superior to the sheriffs and attornies in the Scottish -counties; her clergymen, if those who have the appointment of them were -to be guided solely by merit, ought to be the most learned and most -eloquent that Scotland can produce; the professors in her university -ought (under the same proviso) to be superior to those of Aberdeen -and St. Andrews, and perhaps also to those of Glasgow; and, even in -other cases, she may produce one or two lights more brilliant than -the average in the metropolis;--but, in all cases, where there is no -necessary tie, real or imaginary, to bind a man northward of the Tweed, -the Athens must be satisfied with making her selection after London -has been supplied. Or if she deny the conclusion, she must also deny a -principle upon which her people know as well how to act as the people -of any place,--that whoever can afford to pay the best, will get the -best and the readiest service. - -For adopting this theory, the Athens must not accuse me, either of -ignorance of her erudition, or of a wish to detract from her real -merits. I know her more intimately than she may perhaps be aware; and -if I were to judge her by the strict letter of my own experience, I -should place her sundry degrees lower still; and tell the world of some -of the bitterness which she foolishly squeezes into her own dish, -and some of the ludicrous positions into which she works herself, by -attempting a grace and a dignity, which her nature and her education -alike deny to her; but I have no desire to state any more than is -sufficient to establish the truth; and if she can point out a theory -either of this leading feature of her general character, or of any of -the more detailed and particular ones, which will explain the phenomena -better than mine, I shall be very willing to adopt it. Meanwhile, -however, it is fitting that a city, which not only looks down in scorn -upon the country to which she owes her daily bread, but which affects -to sneer at those whom she must notwithstanding copy, and whom it is -utterly impossible that she can ever equal, should be rebuked for her -arrogance, and resisted when she would claim that to which she neither -has nor can have the smallest title. - - - - -CHAPTER V. - -POLITICS OF THE ATHENS. - - “As when the sea breaks o’er its bounds, - And overflows the level grounds, - Those banks and dams, that, like a screen, - Did keep it out, now keep it in; - So, when tyrannic usurpation - Invades the freedom of a nation, - The laws o’ th’ land, that were intended - To keep it out, are made defend it.”--BUTLER. - - -ALTHOUGH the Athens be the point at which the whole politics of -Scotland have their origin and their termination; and, although the -parties there be more uniform and incessant in their hostility than in -the remote parts of the country; yet, it is impossible to understand -the composition, spirit, and conduct of those parties, without -premising a few words on the general question. - -Now, though England growls, and Ireland brawls and fights, neither -of them is perhaps so degraded in its political system as Scotland. -The great body of the Scottish people may indeed be said to have no -political rights at all; and the members that are sent to the House -of Commons as the representatives of Scotland, may just as properly -be considered the representatives of Bengal or Barbadoes, with which -they have often fully as much connexion, and in the welfare of which -they are fully as much interested. In the Scottish counties, the real -proprietors of the soil are not necessarily the voters for members of -parliament; and, in the royal burghs of Scotland, the great body of -the freemen and burgesses, instead of possessing the parliamentary -franchise, are almost necessarily in opposition to those who do possess -it. Freeholds, in the Scottish counties, are held either by charters -directly from the King, or by charter from subjects as their vassals. -No part of the lands in Scotland being now in the hands of the crown, -the extent of holdings by crown charter cannot be increased; and, as -the rents of the crown vassals were valued a considerable time ago, -an increase of rent, either from the improvement of the estate, or -from any other cause, does not increase its political value. None -but those who hold of the crown, and whose valued rents are of the -stipulated amount, can vote for members of parliament; though, if -the valued rental amount to any number of times the sum necessary -for a qualification, the holder of the crown charter for that rental -possesses as many votes as the amount will bear. In theory, therefore, -there is a difference between the value of Scotch property in land, and -the representation of that property in parliament. The value of the -land varies with the prosperity of the country, while the extent of the -representation remains the same. This is an injustice; but it is by no -means the only or the greatest one of which the Scottish landholder has -to complain. The property in the crown charter, or superiority, as it -is called, is different from the property in the land: the lands may -be sold, and the votes retained by the seller; the votes may be sold, -without selling the land; or the land may be sold to one purchaser, and -the votes to another. - -This system is productive of so many evils, that, in many instances, -a Scotch county representation is substantially no representation at -all. The local interests and improvements of the counties are apt to -be neglected, the county interest is easily thrown into the scale of -any party or faction,--more especially if that party or faction be -subservient to the administration,--and, as the county member, when -ministerial, has great influence over all the government offices and -patronage connected with the county, the chances are, that these will -be bestowed upon persons who are either ignorant of their duties, -from a want of local knowledge, or disliked by the independent -proprietors upon party grounds. The old and decaying families, whose -fallen fortunes force them to sell their lands, and whose pride as -well as whose interest induces them to retain their superiorities, for -the purpose of turning them to political account, are thus ranged in -opposition to the more active and intelligent, who, by the exercise -of their own talents, have acquired the means of purchasing land; and -thus, independently of the old and theoretic distinctions of tories -and whigs, there is perhaps more to create and render conspicuous -the distinction between the liberal and the servile, in the Scotch -counties, than in those either of England or of Ireland. - -In the royal burghs of Scotland, the separation between those who -really possess the property and are interested in the welfare of the -burgh, and those who are in possession of the elective franchise, is -still more glaring in its absurdity, and pernicious in its effects. -During the minority of James III. of Scotland, in 1469, when that -prince was only seventeen years old, and when the turbulent nobles -were setting the laws at defiance, and, by bands of armed ruffians -in the streets, compelling the freemen of the royal burghs to choose -their creatures as magistrates,--a statute was enacted, which was -deemed salutary at the time, but which has since reduced the political -influence of the whole burgesses of Scotland to a mere nonentity, and -made the Scotch burgh representation one of the most convenient and -efficient engines of corruption that ever was devised. That statute -gave to the official men, seldom exceeding twenty in any burgh, and -generally the mere creatures of some chief or leader, who frequently -has no connexion with the burgh at all--the power of electing their -successors in office,--that is, of placing the whole parliamentary -franchise, the whole revenues of the burgh, every species of patronage -that it can exercise, and every alteration and improvement that it -would require, solely and irretrievably at the control and disposal of -about twenty persons, and giving it to them and their assignees as a -perpetual inheritance. - -Now, although these twenty men should be the most intelligent that -each burgh could afford, yet, as the people have no voice in the -election of them, and no control over the acts of their management, -however corrupt, pernicious, or ruinous, it is impossible that they -can be regarded as any thing else than an useless and pernicious -excrescence,--a local despotism, of the most hurtful and humiliating -description, and a marketable commodity, always willing to hire -themselves to whoever should bribe the highest. Circumstanced as they -are, however, it is impossible that they can be the most intelligent -men in their respective burghs. Being a minority, and a very small and -insignificant one, public opinion must always be against them; and this -circumstance alone has a degrading and debasing tendency. The object -of the leading men among them must naturally be to preserve their own -superiority and influence; and therefore they must naturally procure -the election of recruits whose wisdom shall not be dangerous to their -own influence, and whose feelings of honour shall have no tendency to -revolt at the iniquities of the system; and thus, while the system is -in itself as corrupting as can well be imagined, it has a tendency to -draw towards it those who are both disposed and qualified for being -corrupted. The specimens of those burghal office-bearers, which I had -seen in the Athens during the King’s visit, were to me a decided proof -of the badness of the system under which they are appointed; and the -derision in which they appeared to be held by the people, and the -pleasure which their disappointments and rebuffs seemed to afford, -told plainly enough the estimation in which they are held; and the -Scotch are by much too prudent and cautious a people not to pitch their -estimate, both of things and of persons, in a very nice proportion to -the value. - -Now, independently of its mischievous political effects, there is -something in this system which is peculiarly injurious to the local -police and improvements of Scotland. If the way in which those -local rulers are chosen gives general offence, and if their own -qualifications be so confessedly inferior as to excite contempt, it -is not possible that the regulations which they frame, even assuming -that they could be good in themselves, could be carried into effect -with that decision, and supported with that cordiality, on the part of -the public, which a wholesome police requires; as little is it likely -that such men, so appointed, could either plan judicious and liberal -improvements, or carry them into execution. Opposed to the people in -their very formation, the people must be presumed to oppose them in -every part of their conduct where opposition is practicable, and so -annoy them in the rest of it as to make them confine themselves to -that--to which indeed the whole spirit of the system is exceedingly -prone--their own personal importance and aggrandizement. - -But it is with reference to the general politics of Scotland as -centring in the Athens, that this system of burghal election exerts -its most pernicious and permanent influence; for whoever chooses to -go to the expense, (and where very weighty purses are not run against -each other that is by no means great,) can purchase the votes of Scotch -provosts, bailies, and counsellors, with as much ease and certainty as -he could do the necks of as many geese. No doubt there are temporary -and local exceptions, just as there have been wise legislators, -upright judges, and generous commanders, in the very worst systems of -despotism; but those exceptions, from all that I could ever learn, have -been so few in number, and so far between, both in space and in time, -as not to diminish the truth of the general likeness. - -If indeed any other proof, than a knowledge of the system, and a sight -of the men, were wanted, to show how extremely convenient a tool those -Scotch burghal magistrates are, in the hands of whatever party has the -political influence in Scotland for the time, that proof would be found -in the great pertinacity with which the official men of the Athens -have fought for the preservation of the system, and the miserable -sophistications to which they have been obliged to have recourse in -order so to disguise it as that it might be at all palatable to the -better informed or more liberal official men in England. Within the -last thirty years, the burgesses of Scotland have made two strong and -almost unanimous efforts to shake it off. They have shown how ruinous -it is to themselves, how degrading to the magisterial office, and how -ill in accordance with that freedom which England boasts. But the lords -advocate and other keepers of--what shall I say?--Ay--their own places, -have worked about it and about it; and “darkened counsel by words -without knowledge,” till some unfortunate circumstance of the times has -enabled them to couple the attempt at its destruction with that with -which it has no connexion--sedition and rebellion against the British -government. The one attempt was spoiled by the breaking out of the -French Revolution, and the disturbances which at that time took place -in Scotland; and the subsequent attempt failed in consequence of those -grumblings of the people, which were occasioned by a time of scarcity -of provisions and want of employment. - -The state of the country representation, and the system of the burgh -government, would be in themselves sufficient to lay the ministerial -party in the Athens open to suspicion, and to fill the rest of the -inhabitants with discontent. But these are heightened by other -circumstances. The judges, and more especially the crown lawyers, have -a power over the people of Scotland, at which Englishmen would stand -aghast. The judges (no matter whether they exercise it or not) have, -directly or indirectly, the power of nominating every one of the jury -by which a Scotchman is tried,--or, if they have not this power in its -full extent now, they had it till very lately. In the case of ordinary -crimes, this power, though a theoretical imperfection, might not be -very dangerous in practice,--because, in ordinary crimes, there is -nothing to entice a judge away from the natural dictates and natural -course of justice; but, in offences of a political description, the -case must be different,--because all or at least a majority of the -judges, being persons who, at some period of their lives, are helped -forward by ministerial influence, cannot be supposed to be entirely -divested of those feelings of gratitude which are natural to all -classes and conditions of men. - -The lord advocate of Scotland is, from the very nature of his office, -much more a political character than any judge. In all questions -between the King and his subjects, or between the people and the -criminal law, he is not only the King’s principal officer, but the -express representative of the King himself; and, except in the truly -kingly and glorious attribute of granting pardon, he has more ample -powers than the King has by the law of England. It is true, that, -through the instrumentality of his attorney-general, the King can -file warrants against such of his English subjects as are guilty of -offences, tending to injure his person, or subvert his government, -and bring them to trial without the intervention of a grand jury; and -it is also true, that this power has been exercised in cases where -neither the person nor the government of the King could have been -in the smallest danger; but still, great as this power is in itself, -and dangerous as the frequent exercise of it is to liberty, it is -nothing in comparison of what the Scotch lord advocate possesses. The -attorney-general is always understood to institute his proceedings in -consequence of a representation from the sovereign himself, or from -the great officers of the state; and, by law, it is strictly confined -to what are called state offences. The lord advocate, on the other -hand, is, of his own pleasure, and without necessary consultation -with any one, not only the public prosecutor in all cases of trial, -but the arbiter who decides who shall or shall not be tried; and, in -the latter capacity, he, of the plenitude of his own power, performs -all the functions of an English grand jury. When a crime, either -against society or against the state, has been committed, or when a -person is suspected of the one or the other description of crime, the -procurator fiscal of the district or burgh, (who, in many instances, -is an ignorant and bungling attorney, whose friends, or whose secret -services, have procured that office for him, as much on account of his -incapacity for making a decent living by the ordinary practice of his -profession, as for any other reason,) takes “a precognition,” that -is, a secret and inquisitorial examination of _ex-parte_ evidence, -which he transmits to the lord advocate as the ground upon which -that officer may or may not proceed, just as he pleases. If it please -the lord advocate that the party thus accused shall be indicted, he -prepares the necessary instruments; and the trial must be begun, if -the party accused shall petition the court for it, within forty days -of his being imprisoned, and held to bail, and finished within other -forty days; but in all cases which come before the lords of justiciary, -either in their sessional court in the Athens, or at their periodical -circuits in the different counties, the lord advocate is substantially -both the public prosecutor and the grand jury that sends the case to -trial. Where a special commission of _oyer_ and _terminer_ is issued -for the trial of persons accused of high treason, a grand jury, of not -fewer than seventeen, and not more than twenty-one, have a power of -returning as true, or ignoring the bills of indictment, if twelve of -their number shall be of that opinion. But, even with this limitation, -the power of the lord advocate, more especially as relates to political -offences, is such as to heighten the animosity, which the state of the -elective franchise is calculated to produce, between the comparatively -small portion of the Scottish people who are influenced by the hope or -possession of office, and the much larger portion who are under no such -influence. - -The distance of the Athens from the seat of the executive and -legislative powers of the empire; and the colouring which it is -possible that a representation may receive from those who carry it to -headquarters, also tend to lessen the confidence which the people of -Scotland might otherwise be disposed to place in the men who form as it -were the official links of connexion between them and their King; and -when it is considered how much connexion and influence can do even at -headquarters, it is easy to imagine how much greater their extent must -be at such an outpost as the Athens. - -There would be no end of a statement of the complaints which I found -the independent Caledonians had to make against their delegated -authorities. From what I saw in the Athens, and from what I heard in my -excursion over the country, I could plainly discover that the people -of Scotland are perhaps more uniformly and more sincerely devoted to -all the better parts of the constitution, and to the person and family -of the King, than the people of England; but I could at the same time -perceive that they felt towards the immediate holders of Scottish power -and office, a much stronger dislike than is to be found in England. At -the same time, they all seemed anxious to make it appear that those -official men wished to identify themselves, and even their failings, -so much with the general government of the country, that they were -ever ready to denounce accusations against themselves as attacks on the -government; and many instances were mentioned to me in which a very -excusable, and, as I would have thought, a very deserved ridicule of a -small man of office, had been considered and represented as the very -next step to levying war upon the King. - -The tendency which the Athenians have to make themselves, their -sayings, and their doings, the grand objects of thought and -conversation, helps to give currency and additional bitterness to -this political rancour. If a scrap of paper which a procurator fiscal -cannot read, or a sharp instrument of which a loyal magistrate cannot -exactly understand the use, happen to be found in any district, more -especially in any of the populous and manufacturing districts of -Scotland, the chance is, that if there be any symptom in the public -mind which sophistry can twist into an attitude of irritation, the one -shall find its way to the Athens as a seditious circular, and the other -as a rebellious pike. The official men of the Athens have no great -knowledge of articles of these descriptions, and as of late years the -lords advocates in particular have not only been a very sensitive and -vigilant race, but have been of those mental dimensions which are the -better for a discovery or two to give them importance, there have, -during those years, been things suspected of rebellious propensities, -which would have been regarded as quite harmless in any other part of -the island. A merchant who has extensive dealings with Russia, and -who is also concerned in the north sea whale fishing, informed me -that in the memorable year 1819, a few letters written in the Russian -character, and two dozen of harpoons, were taken from his warehouse -with great ceremony, forwarded to Edinburgh at considerable expense, -and, as he supposed, cost the authorities there, not only much profound -cogitation among themselves, but an application to the secretary of -state, ere they were sent back to him. Indeed, were I to recount all -the transactions of this description that were mentioned to me during -my residence in Scotland, I should fill several volumes with instances -of the lamentable and ludicrous effects of uninformed zeal in official -men: to record such matters would, however, be an attempt to preserve -the memory of persons and things which no effort could keep from -oblivion. - -In the peculiar politics of the Athens, it struck me, that though there -are only two parties,--the men in office, with their connexions and -dependants, and the men who are not in office,--yet that there are -several distinct grounds of opposition, some of which neither party are -very willing to avow, and therefore they lump them all together in the -convenient cant terms of Tory and Whig. Both parties are radically and -substantially loyal; and both parties, though in different degrees, and -sought for by different measures, may have a regard for the prosperity -of their country generally, and for the glory and aggrandizement of the -Athens, in a particular and pre-eminent degree; but still, their wars -of the tongue, and the unpleasant inroads which these wars make upon -domestic prosperity and happiness, are just as unpleasant as though the -one party were about to draw the sword for absolute despotism, and the -other for blind and indiscriminate democracy. - -The Athenian Tories are perhaps the most place-devoted race in the -British dominions. Office is their god; and, as is sometimes the -case with other devotees, their devotion is fervent in proportion -to the feeling they have of their own unworthiness. In defence of -that which they worship, they have no more variety of voice than the -winged warders of the Roman capitol. Hence, as I said of the burghal -magistracies, they cling to each other, and by that very means separate -themselves more from the people than the necessity of the case -requires. Their strength consists, mainly, in those imperfections of -the elective franchise, and powers of the law officers of the Crown, -to which I have alluded; and as those cannot well be defended in -argument, eloquence is of little use to them, and they seem to have no -great partiality for those who possess it. When they make an attack as -a body, in any other way than through the instrumentality of the law, -(which they can employ only when the waters of society are a little -troubled,) they do it snugly and covertly,--by letting people feel that -they have the dispensing of rewards; by standing between a candidate -and an office for which he is qualified, or by something of a similar -kind. I was told that, at one period, and that not a very remote one, -they would hit a man whose politics they did not like, through the -medium of his banker; but latterly, the will or the power, or at any -rate the practice of this, has been lessened, if not abolished. - -At some periods, indeed, they have shown direct hostilities: they -have spoken and written with considerable loudness, and considerable -license; but the system, at least the local system, of which they -have undertaken the championship, has not furnished them with sound -principles or satisfactory arguments; and their mode of conducting -themselves has shown that they were deficient both in skill and in -tact. They have been exposed, certainly, and ashamed of themselves, -very possibly. - -The Athenian Whigs are a mixed multitude, and though they all agree -in their opposition to the other party, they are by no means agreed -among themselves,--that is, as far as I could discover, they are not -all influenced by the same principles, or seeking the same object. -The party who are in office, have always among their opponents, -and frequently foremost amongst them, a party whose principles and -disposition differ not much from their own--namely, the party who wish -to get in. As, however, those longers for office cannot, like the -enjoyers of office, support themselves by their politics, they have -no principle of union, and therefore do not, like the others, unfurl -the ensigns, and raise the war-cry, as a party. Were they to do this, -it would not only defeat their own object, but cause them to be more -disliked by the independent part of the people, than the persons who -are in possession. Feeding, whether with pudding or with place, has a -tendency to smooth the turbulent passions; while hungering, whether -for food or for office, has an effect exactly the opposite. Hence, -even the Athenian placeman, whose appetite is most ravenous, and who -is prone to snarl at those whom he suspects of a desire to take his -portion from him, is the more civil from being in office, unless when -he thinks that his honours or emoluments are in danger. Upon this -principle, he is kind to those whom he thinks indifferent, and polite, -and occasionally generous, to all whom he imagines can strengthen his -influence, without turning round in the end, and attempting to share it -with him. Hence, also, the place-hunter, I mean him who hunts for it in -opposition to the present holder, is always irritable and jealous, and -keeps his wishes and his plans as much to himself as ever he can. Thus, -such of the Athenian Whigs as would be placemen to the very core, if -they had “good opportunities for the ’ork,” are careful to blend, and -lose if possible, their peculiar propensities, in the general mass of -those who, without any specific or immediate view to their own personal -interest, seek for a reform of what they conceive to be the political -abuses of their country. - -In this way, all that is selfish among the Athenian Whigs can be kept -in the back-ground; and as the principles which they abet are much more -rational in themselves, much more agreeable to the general feelings -of mankind, and much better adapted for declamation, than those which -their opponents profess--when they venture to profess any thing, the -Whigs always have had, and always will continue to have, the best of -the argument, and the finest of the eloquence upon their side. But -though they be by far the most numerous, and the most specious, their -chances of success bear no proportion either to their numbers or -the apparent superiority of their cause. The opposite party have the -command of the public purse, and when the two parties strive, they are -thus enabled to throw the expense of both sides upon their antagonists. -Such are a few of the principles and practices of Athenian politics,--a -war of words, of which it would be no easy matter to define the object, -or calculate the end. - - - - -CHAPTER VI. - -LAW OF THE ATHENS. - - ----“Lawyers have more sober sense - Than t’ argue at their own expense, - But make their best advantages - Of others’ quarrels, like the Swiss; - And out of foreign controversies, - By aiding both sides, fill their purses.”--BUTLER. - - -WHATEVER airs the Athens may give herself in other matters, however she -may boast of her taste and her elegance, talk of her science and her -literature, or cherish the mouldering skeleton of her medical school, -no one can be a day within her precincts without discovering that the -law is her Alpha and her Omega,--the food which she eats, the raiment -she puts on, the dwelling-house which she inhabits, the conversation in -which she engages, the soul which animates her whole frame, the mind -which is discovered in every feature of her countenance, and every -attitude of her body. Once destroy that, or remove it to another place, -and the pride of the Athens would be at an end: you might lodge owls -in all her palaces, and graze cattle in all her streets. - -From the way in which the Scottish courts of law are regulated, -there is hardly a suit from the Solway Firth to the Pentland, or -from Peterhead to the remotest of the Hebudæ, which does not look -toward the Athens, the moment that the litigiousness of a client, or -the machinations of an attorney, call it into existence. I hinted -already, that there is no one thing in which the Athens can now retain -a superiority except the practice of Scotch law; and, as Scotland -increases in wealth, that law is so constructed, that the portion which -the scribes and spouters of the Athens shall be enabled to levy upon -their countrymen must always increase in a greater ratio. Scotchmen are -apt to be proud of the Athens,--to regard her with a portion at least -of that admiration which subjects pay to the pomp of their kings. There -is propriety in this; for there is scarcely a stone in the walls of the -Athenian palaces, or a decent coat in her streets, which has not been -squeezed out of some litigious or unfortunate man of the provinces, -in the shape of a lawyer’s fee. I noticed the power which the crown -lawyers of Scotland have over the liberties and lives of the people; -and the power which lawyers of another class have over the fortunes of -the Scotch lairds, is every jot as ruinous and humiliating. There are -complaints in England, that when once property gets into chancery, the -“infant” becomes grey before he can enjoy it; but the Scottish chancery -is incalculably worse; for the moment that a Scotch proprietor allows -his lands to pass into the keeping of an Edinburgh agent, from that -moment he must lay his account either with losing them altogether, or -purchasing them anew; and to enumerate the heirs of Scottish families, -who are at any time pining away in heart-broken obscurity, or toiling -under the burning suns of the East or the West, in the hope of winning -back a poor fragment of the ample heritage to which they were born, -would require no trifling succession of pages. - -It cannot indeed be otherwise. According to the definition of the -political economists, law is not only unproductive labour in itself, -but wherever it clutches its talons, it tears away the funds by which -more valuable labour should be supported, and distracts and lacerates -the spirit by which those funds should be applied. When a Scotchman -from the country visits the Athens, and sees a long line of costly -buildings mounting up in the air, he may rest assured, that for -every shilling that those buildings cost, and every shilling that -shall be spent in them, he and his compatriots must pay. The Athens -herself,--the overtopping and overwhelming part of the Athens,--that -part which rises by the power, and extends itself by the weight, of the -law, produces nothing whatever. It is as sterile as the Castle rock; -and, were it not for the folly of other people, its ascendency would -not be so great as it makes the Athens feel. This, however, is a matter -for the Scotch themselves; and it sometimes happens, with nations as -well as with individuals, that a deformity or a vice is praised and -cherished, while beauties and virtues are treated with neglect. - -It is matter of trite remark, that very few of the seed of Jacob have -ever taken up their abode in the Athens, and that the few who have -done so, have in a short time been starved to death or to removal; -and it has sometimes been wondered why a people, who have been so -successful in pillaging the other nations of Europe, should have failed -so completely in this instance. A very slight acquaintance with the -Athenian “men of business,” as they are called, will explain the fact, -and resolve the difficulty. The man of business has all the natural -rapacity and cunning of the Jew, and he is at the same time so well -conversant with every quirk and turn of the law, that there is no -possibility of calling him to account for his depredations. - -Those hounds usually pursue their game in couples. There is one who -is called “the dining partner,” whose business it is to watch for -every inexperienced or expensive man of property, who happens to be -spending a few days in the Athens, get invited to the same party with -him, ply him with flattery, and when his weak side is once discovered, -inflame his vanity upon that. Toward the close of the party, when the -wine has circulated with that abundance and rapidity which are common -in such cases, the dining partner becomes large in his professions of -friendship. The victim swallows the bait with avidity; a meeting takes -place in the kennel of the hounds next morning; and a loan of a few -thousand pounds, being upon a first security, is negotiated in a manner -which is quite fair and equitable; but the men of the law, when they go -down to “take their infeftment” over the lands, contrive to suggest so -many improvements that the supply is speedily exhausted; and, as it has -created much more appetite than it has satisfied, another and a larger -supply becomes necessary. The terms of this are a little different: -money, which was in profusion upon the first occasion, is now difficult -to be had. More than the legal interest would invalidate the security; -but matters may be so managed, as to give a bond for payment of the -interest, and repayment of the principal of fifteen thousand pounds, -while ten thousand only is advanced. The gates of ruin are now fairly -opened; loan follows after loan, till the whole value of the lands be -mortgaged, and the whole rents consumed in interest; and when matters -have come to this situation, the men of business press a sale at a time -which they know to be disadvantageous, and thus get into their own -possession property, upon the improvement of which almost the whole -of the sums advanced by them have been expended,--are, in short, much -in the same situation as if they had got a present of the lands, and -only laid out a few thousand pounds for their improvement. It is not -the object of the men of business to retain a great deal of property -in land; so they divide the lands into lots, sell them at a handsome -profit, and retain the freehold qualifications, either to promote their -own political interest, or to part with them for large sums in the -event of a disputed election,--a matter which they are often known to -bring about for this very purpose. Such are some of the blessings which -the legal men of the Athens bestow upon their country, in return for -the fees with which it has previously fattened them. - -But, notwithstanding many examples of this kind, there remains among -that part of the Athenian lawyers, who go by the name of “men of -business,” no small degree, both of talent and of integrity, while, -among the “men of profession,”--the advocates, or members of the Scotch -bar, there are a few, for the reasons that were formerly stated, the -very choicest spirits, not of the Athens merely, but of all Scotland. -Though the occasions upon which these persons display their eloquence -be merely of a private nature,--though a very large proportion of them -have no eloquence to display, or no opportunity for displaying it; yet -the profession of advocate is the only one in Scotland which makes -the professor of it a gentleman; and among the people of the Athens, -of all classes, the special pleaders before the Courts of Session and -Justiciary,--the supreme civil and criminal courts of Scotland, take -a deeper hold of the public mind in the Athens, and engross a greater -share of the public attention, than the orators of St. Stephen’s do in -the British Metropolis. - -One reason of this may be the way in which the different courts are -blended together, and in which business is conducted. The Court of -Session is a court of equity, as well as a court of law; and this is -extremely favourable for the pleader, as the two characters blended -together in the same oration give it a rich and popular character, -which it can never have in the stiff formality of the English courts. -Great part of the pleadings, too, are written; and this not only keeps -the inferior speakers from lowering the general tone of the bar, but -enables the more celebrated to confine themselves to such general -arguments as are best calculated for oratorical display. Another thing: -criminal trials, which are ever the most interesting to the public, -are not managed by the fag-end of the law, as at the Old Bailey; and -the counsel for the prisoner is not limited to legal exceptions in the -course of the trial, cross-questionings of witnesses, and motions in -arrest of judgment and mitigation of punishment, after the jury have -returned their verdict, and are beyond the reach of his eloquence, -however touching or powerful. In the Scotch criminal court, whether in -the Athens or at the provincial assizes, the law itself takes care that -the prisoner, whatever be his crime, shall have the aid of counsel; and -if the crime be remarkable, either from its enormity or on account of -the character or rank of the party accused, then the very first counsel -at the bar are ranged on his side. These are allowed full scope, -both to attack the form of the case _in limine_, and to throw every -suspicion upon the evidence, and make every appeal to the judgments and -passions of the jury, that ingenuity can suggest, or eloquence apply. -The official men who have the conducting of the prosecution, are not -only, generally speaking, men of much smaller abilities than those who -have the conducting of the defence, but upon political grounds, as -well as from that general aversion which men have to the sanguinary -operations of the law, the feeling of the public is opposed to them, -and in favour of their antagonists. - -There was nothing, indeed, with which I ever was better pleased, or in -which I felt Old England so much inferior to her northern neighbour, -as in the conducting of criminal trials. One who is in the habit of -looking in at that great suttling-house for the gallows, the Old -Bailey,--who sees the hurried manner in which the life of a man is, -perhaps justly enough, sworn away,--who listens to the few seconds of -advice, and the few trifling questions put by the counsel to whom the -poor culprit has given the last shilling that he could beg from his -weeping relations,--who marks the anxiety of the counsel till the case -shall come to that point at which he may coldly abandon his miserable -client--the very point at which an appeal to the jury might turn the -scale,--cannot but feel, when he witnesses the slow and pathetic -solemnity of the Scotch courts, that he is among pleaders of other -powers. A case which brings even Theisseger to the bar, is one of no -common importance, and one never by any chance finds the powers of -Brougham, or the acuteness of Scarlett, come in to save a poor man from -death. But when I was in the Athens, there was only one trial for a -capital crime, and yet the legal sagacity of Moncrieff, and the burning -eloquence of Jeffrey, were exerted for full two hours, on behalf of the -prisoner; and exerted, too, in such a manner as convinced me that the -fee must have been the very least part of their inducement. I never -heard objections put with so perfect a knowledge both of the general -principles of law, or the specialities of the particular case, or -evidence so scientifically dissected, as were done by the former; and -the appeal of Jeffrey to the feelings of the jury, and even to those -of the judges, was one of the finest things I ever heard. There are -many men far more learned in the law than this celebrated Scotchman; -and many who can take a far more sweeping and comprehensive view of -a subject; but all the little sallies of which his speech consisted, -were as sharp as needles and as shining as diamonds. Their brilliancy -made you open your bosom to receive them, and their keenness was such -that they would have pierced their way in spite of you. Their effect -upon the crowded spectators, and upon the jury, was tremendous; nor -was the lord justice clerk himself, who seemed not only a very proud -and consequential person in himself, but by no means a hearty admirer -of the barrister, able to resist the influence. Whenever Jeffrey tore -away a pillar of the evidence against his client, and clenched the -advantage by an appeal to those passions which he seemed to know so -well how to touch, there was a general hum of satisfaction in the -crowd; the jurors looked up with eyes of new hope, as much as to say, -“we shall be able to acquit him yet;” and the judge relaxed a little of -the lofty severity of his countenance. - -Another cause why the people of the Athens, and of Scotland generally, -set so high a value upon the Athenian advocates, may be that they are -the only class of persons among whom public speaking is so much as -known. I do not mean to say that the Scotch have no talents for this -kind of display. Quite the reverse; for instead of taciturnity, which -their supposed cautious character would lead one to set down as their -leading propensity, they are the most loquacious people,--I mean the -longest-winded people that ever I met with; having, in their common -conversation, ten times as much _badinage_ and ornament as the English, -and ten times more concatenation of ideas than the Irish. - -But they have no subject to excite public speaking, and no occasion -upon which to exercise it. Elections they have none, not even so much -as a parish-meeting, or a wardmote. The only persons among them that -have the privilege of electing even their own local managers, are “the -Trades,” or little corporations of artificers, in the royal burghs, -who annually choose “deacons;” but they usually do this more by the -eloquence of liquor than of words, and as the deacons are commonly a -sort of pack-horses to the burghal corporation, they fall into most of -the sensual and senseless vulgarity which are the characteristics of -it. Churches and hospitals supported by voluntary contribution, at the -annual festivals of which the contributors may make speeches, there -are none. Indeed, unless a Scotchman were to stand on a hill-side and -address the wind, or on the sea-shore and address the waves, he has no -scope for oratory; and thus, come from what part of the country he may, -the pleadings before the courts at the Athens, are quite a novelty to -him, and he runs after and admires them as such. Thus the total absence -of all eloquence throughout the country, makes a very small portion of -it obtain distinction in the Athens. - -Curious as it is to find a city where every soul is so much absorbed -by the law, that men and women, girls and boys, of all ages and all -conditions of life, season their common speech with the slang of legal -phrases, and destructive of not only all literary and liberal taste, -but of all the joyous intercourse of life, as it is to hear every -night a rehearsal of Jeffrey’s sarcasm, or Cockburn’s joke of the -morning; yet the Parliament-house of the Athens is a spirit-stirring -scene, and very delightful, compared with the gloomy desolation of -Westminster-hall. - -While the courts are sitting it is usually as crowded as the Royal -Exchange at four o’clock, and the hum, and bustle, and eagerness, are -vastly more interesting than the solemn faces and demure looks of -the dealers in tallow and tapioca, who stand under the shadow of the -Grasshopper, with their jaws distended like a trap for foxes, and their -hands up to their elbows in their pockets, as if they could not abstain -from fumbling money, even when the precise minute of bargain has not -arrived. - -It is true that you meet with no Rothschild, or any other pawnbroker -for kings, in this ancient apartment of the Scottish Parliament; but, -if you be more a lover of mind than of money, you are sure to meet with -what will please you a great deal better. Before the Judges have taken -their places in the Inner Courts, you cannot miss the tall figure, the -gleesome grey eye, the snub nose, and all the other characteristics -of the spirit of the wizard and the soul of the man, that mark Sir -Walter Scott. A dozen of chosen friends, some Whig and some Tory, hang -about him; and, as he limps along with wonderful vigour, considering -the irregularity of his legs, peals of laughter ring at every word -which he utters, and a score of fledgling Tory barristers, who have -not yet got either a place or a brief, stretch out their goose necks, -huddle round, and cackle at the echo of that which they cannot possibly -hear. In another place, or rather in all places, the Editor of the -Edinburgh Review starts about like wildfire; and unless it be when an -attorney ever and anon brings him up with the sheet-anchor of a fee -and a brief, there is no possibility of arresting his motion. He darts -aside like lightning, runs over the brief with such rapidity that you -would think he were merely counting the pages of an article for the -Edinburgh Review, and having handed it to his clerk, who seems as heavy -as himself is agile, he again darts into the throng, like an otter into -the waters, and is seen no more till he bring up another gudgeon. - -Wherever you meet with this highly-gifted personage, you are never -at a loss to distinguish him from every body else. His writings, his -speeches, and his face, have the most remarkable family likeness that -I ever met with. All the three seem cut into little faucettes and -angles, which glitter and sparkle in every possibility of light, both -direct and oblique. In the speech and the writing, rich as is the -play of genius on the surface, it bears no proportion to the mass of -intellect which it covers and dazzles; and keen, acute, and purged of -all grossness and obesity, as is the lower part of the face, it bears -no proportion to the expansion of forehead that towers above. Jeffrey -has the most wonderful pair of eyes that ever illuminated a human -visage. Even when he is shooting along like a small but swift meteor -through the crowd in the Parliament-House, they are beaming so as to -force you to turn away your eyes, and if he looks at you, you find -yourself utterly unable to withstand it. When that look is darting for -any important purpose, such as to ascertain whether a witness be or -be not speaking the truth, it is more searching than that of Garrow -even in his best days, so that the most hardened tremble before it, -and are instantly divested of all power of concealing the truth. If, -however, you attempt to repay Jeffrey in his own coin, by working into -his mind with that sharp and anatomical glance which he employs in -dissecting the minds of other people, you find that you are woefully -mistaken. Those eyes, which can penetrate to the bottom of any other -man’s heart, and expose even that part of it which he studies with the -greatest assiduity to conceal, are a perfect sealed book to you; you -cannot see beyond their external surface, and they give you not so much -as a hint of what the owner is thinking, or what he may be disposed to -say or do next. Wonderful as the eyes are, they are perhaps exceeded -by the eyebrows, and certainly two such intellectual batteries were -never alternately masked and displayed in a manner so singular. They -range over a greater extent of surface, and twist themselves into a -more endless variety of curves than is almost possible to conceive, and -while they do so, they express all manner of thoughts, and utter all -descriptions of sentences. Few men have more eloquence in their speech -than Jeffrey, and I have met with none who had half as much in his face. - -Another character in this reeling crowd, which never fails to attract -the attention of a stranger, is that of Robert Forsyth. As far as one -man can be unlike another, he is the very antipodes of Jeffery. He is -large, square, and muscular, more intended by nature, you would think, -for breaking stones on the high road, than for breaking syllogisms -before their Lordships. His face is coarse, broad and flat, and as -immovable in all its muscles as though it had been chiselled out of a -block of granite. As he moves along, he turns his head neither to the -one side nor to the other; and indeed he does not require it, for his -eyes have that divergent squint which enables him at once to scan both -sides of the horizon. The lines of labour are so ploughed across and -across every part of his ample countenance, and they give it so knotted -and so corrugated an appearance, that you can easily perceive he has -followed more occupations, and been attached to more sides of politics -than one. Still there is by no means the quiescence of a mind at ease -upon the strong picture of his visage; the lower part of it is fixed in -something between a half laugh and a half grin, and the upper part has -a firmness about it which tells you he is a through-going lawyer, whom -it will not be easy to turn from his purpose. - -The throng is so great, however, and the variety of faces, gowned and -ungowned, wigged and unwigged, beaming forth every shade of mind, and -betokening every degree of mental vacuity, is so perplexing, that your -eye and your imagination are completely bewildered, and you cannot -attend either to individuals or single groups, while the buz of voices -of so many different tones and pitches give your ears the impression of -a very Babel. - -Business commences; the Lords Ordinary take their seats--in places -which make them look more like as if they were standing in the pillory -than any thing else. But even there, advocates are drudging in their -vocations; agents running backwards and forwards with briefs; clients -watching the result with palpitating hearts; and the Athenian loungers -hanging about, anticipating their Lordships in the decision of the -several cases. The well-employed advocates now put you very much -in mind of shuttle-cocks. They run from bar to bar, making motions -here and speeches there, in the most chaos-looking style that can be -imagined. Of the whole gown and wig mass, it is but a small portion, -however, who are thus occupied; four-fifths of the whole keep trudging -on from end to end of the hall, and seem never to expect or even to -get a fee; while the bar clerks collected round the fire-places keep -up a continual titter at the repetition of all the good jokes of the -day; and the same scene continues day after day, and month after month. -You are astonished that a place, the real business of which is so dull -and so dry, should have charms for so many idle people; but except -this Parliament-house there is not another in-door lounge in the whole -Athens; and as the business of the courts forms the chief topic of -the evening’s conversation, many attend for the purpose of qualifying -themselves for displays upon a very different arena. It is long before -a stranger can bring himself to relish this first and most favourite -of all Athenian pleasures. I, for one, got tired of it in two or three -days, and began to be of opinion that, however much this fondness for -legal proceedings may sharpen the wits of the Athenian idlers, it is -but a sorry treat for those who have no wish either to get rich by the -acting, or wise by the suffering of the law. - -When the business of the day is over, you can perceive the veteran -barristers taking council together as to where they may be joyous for -the night; and the younger legal men of all descriptions hurrying off -toward Princes Street, in order that they may show themselves to the -Athenian fair, before they retreat to drown the daily badgerings in the -nightly bowl. - - - - -CHAPTER VII. - -LEARNING OF THE ATHENS. - - ----“As a dog that turns the spit - Bestirs himself, and plies his feet, - To climb the wheel, but all in vain, - His own weight brings him down again, - And still he’s in the self-same place, - Where, at his setting out, he was; - So, in the circle of the arts, - Do they advance their nat’ral parts, - Till falling back still, for retreat, - They fall to juggle, cant, and cheat.” - - -IF, in her metropolitan status as the seat of Caledonian law, the -Athens be fixed as the dog-star, as the seat of Caledonian learning, -she has been and must be, changeful as the moon. If the wealth of her -lawyers “swells like the Solway,” the renown of her philosophers “ebbs -like its tide.” The very same cause which raises the one,--which makes -all hearts envy, all eyes admire, all knees worship, and all tongues -speak the Babylonish dialect of special pleaders, comes cold and -curdling as December’s ice over every thing else; and though there -may be an occasional spring of the living water of the mind, which -has its source too deep, or its current too thoroughly imbued with -the immortal fire, for submitting to the cold congelation; yet such -glorious instances must be few and far between. Even in the law itself, -there may be green branches, just as there are green branches on the -Upas; but, like the Upas, the law, or indeed any thing else which is -so overpowering in its influence as the law is in the Athens, must in -itself monopolize all the greenness, and etiolate and wither every -thing that attempts to grow under its broad and gloomy shade. Whatever -promises the chief reward will, under any circumstances, always attract -the chief talent; and the state of the whole British dominions, and of -the Athens not less than any other portion of them, is at present such -as not to be exceedingly favourable to the pursuits of abstract and -recondite philosophy. Luxury has found out for all those who have money -to spend without working for it,--whether they have it as a legitimate -heritage from their natural parents, or as the adopted children of that -great nursery-mother of idlers, the state, abundant employment,--full -occupation from every hour that they can snatch from the pangs of -intemperance and the pillow of sleep, not only without profound -philosophy, but without thought of any description that reaches -beyond the enjoyment of the moment; and the number of these persons, -especially the latter division of them, is so very considerable, that, -of the remaining independent portion of the British people, none can -afford to be philosophic or learned upon any other terms than those -of being paid for it,--taking it up, and following it as a trade, -as much as other men do the boring of cannon, or the building of -bridges. That this is unquestionably true of the whole country, may -be established from the philosophical publications, whether regular -or periodical, which make their appearance at the present day. Of the -regular class, there has not, so far as I know, been published, within -the last thirty years, in any part of the British dominions, a single -original work, that will transmit the name of its author to posterity. -There have indeed been books, and books in which there have been the -details of new experiments, and occasionally scraps of theories; but, -like successive days in the kalendar, the one has usurped the place -and extinguished the remembrance of the other; and, at the present -moment, the most unmarketable article which an author could carry to a -bookseller would be a profound treatise on any of the sciences. With -regard to periodical learning again, (I use the word “learning” as -distinguished from and even opposed to literature,) the case is very -nearly the same. The philosophical journals, of all the periodicals, -have the most limited circulation, are the least read, and the least -worth the reading,--just because the proprietors of them cannot afford -to pay for the labour which it would require to make them better. - -Now, if this be the case with the British dominions generally, and with -the British metropolis, where every species of talent has the means of -being stimulated to the greatest exertion, and where every exertion -meets with the most ample reward, much more must it be the case in -the Athens, where there is not only no adequate remuneration for the -labours of learning, but where there is a more honoured and rewarded -pursuit, constantly soliciting the choice, not only of the Athenian, -but of the Scottish talent generally, away from it. It cannot be -hoped, that when a man of very ordinary talents can get a comfortable -living and honourable distinction in society, by managing the estates -of Scotch lairds, or the causes of Scotch litigants, men of superior -ability will consent to starve in obscurity for the love of learning -or of science. Mankind have become to the full as mercenary in their -intellectual as in their civil marriages; and the Athenian muses, like -the Athenian maidens, pine in unwooed neglect, because they have no -dowry. - -The Athenian University was long the boast of the Athens, not only as a -school of philosophy, and a school of medicine, but as a general school -of learning; and, with the exception, perhaps, of the latter, the -titles were, in the case of a few illustrious men, well earned. Those -times have, however, gone by, and the Athenian university, pressed -down by the general circumstances of the Athens, and yet more by the -peculiar circumstances of its own patronage, has sunk to rise no more. - -Universities, indeed, have much of the general character of -stars,--they shine brightest when all else is dark, and fade, if -they do not disappear, when illumination becomes general. While the -people, generally speaking, are ignorant, they are lights in the path -of learning; but when the people become generally well informed, they -are not much better than lumber. This would be their fate in general -illumination, under any circumstances; but it is peculiarly so, in the -circumstances under which--or rather, in spite of which, knowledge is -at present spreading over the British dominions. The same cause which -renders abstract studies unprofitable, must render the systems of -universities unpopular, except in so far as the name of being there is -necessary for professional purposes; and where the name is all that men -actually need, they will not burden themselves with much of the thing -named. If it were not that there are such things as fellowships, fat -dinners, facilities for juvenile dissipation, church and other livings, -a key to certain offices, and a general nominal eclât, which in so far -serves as a substitute for real information, it is very possible that -several halls in Oxford and Cambridge would be abandoned to bats and -spiders,--that “the two eyes of England” would be left “for daws to -peck at;” and it was pretty plain to me, from the general tenour of the -Athenian feeling, as expressed in the Athenian speech, that, if the -attendance of certain classes of her university were not required for -those who plaster the consciences of Caledonian sinners, and who bring -down the tone of the Caledonian pulse, or the Caledonian purse, her -learned Thebans would be allowed to deliver their prelections to the -stones in the wall, and the beam of the timber. In as far, therefore, -as I could see and reason from circumstances, there is much, both in -the feeling of the people in the Athens, and in the causes by which -that feeling is produced, to render the decline of learning certain -on the one hand, while there is little or nothing of a counteracting -tendency on the other. - -In addition to this, in as far as the university is concerned, there -is the infliction of perhaps the very worst patronage that could be -devised or even imagined. I have noticed already, what a precious -piece of work the corporations, or, as they are termed, “the councils” -of the royal burghs are in Scotland. In itself, there is nothing to -render that of the Athens better than any of the others; and, in close -juxtaposition with it, there is something which tends to make it worse. -The whole town-councils in Scotland are, their attention to their own -personal interests excepted, ignorant, unreasoning, and passive tools -in the hands of the ruling faction. If the actual leaders of that -faction have not their actual residence in the Athens, it is there that -they find the hands which do their work. Those hands belong to men, who -not only have a better education than the Athenian magistrates, but who -perform more important functions, and perform them in the face, and for -the weal or the woe of the whole of Scotland. To them, therefore, the -magistrates of the Athens are inferior; and this circumstance, taken in -conjunction with the inferiority which the whole system of the Scotch -burghs tends to stamp upon the magistrates, renders the said civic -rulers of the Athens the most unfit patrons of a school of philosophy, -or indeed of any thing learned or liberal, that human imagination -could devise. Not only this; but the superior talents, at least the -superior pretensions, of the other functionaries alluded to, will throw -the civic worthies into their train as followers; and thus, whatever -patronage they exercise, will have to sustain, in addition to their -own sheer dulness, the dead deadening weight of the party politics of -the country,--a combination of stupidity and slavery, under which that -system were either greater or less than human, which could flourish in -a rational and liberal manner. - -When it is known that the provost, bailies, counsellors, and deacons -of the Athens,--seldom men of any education, and never men of any -genius,--_cum avisamento eorum ministrorum_, (which, being interpreted, -signifies “without benefit of clergy,”) have the sole power of electing -the greater number of professors in the Athenian university,--when it -is considered that the remaining ones are nominated by the crown, in -other words, by the leading faction in Scotland for the time,--and -when it is borne in mind that the said provosts, bailies, counsellors, -and deacons, are little else than a pair of bagpipes, upon which the -said faction discourses whatsoever music it chooses,--it will become -but too apparent, that the chances of having the professors’ chairs -filled by the very fittest men possible are about as small as can well -be estimated. That ignorant men should have the power of appointing -professors of learning is in itself a very great absurdity; and that -the ignorant men to whom such a power is delegated, should themselves -be tacked to the tail of a political faction for the purpose of -retaining places, contrary both to reason and their own abilities, -makes the matter, theoretically considered, a great deal worse. I have -no wish to accuse the civic archons of the Athens of wilful abuse in -the exercise of this patronage; but I have seen them, I have heard -them speak, and I have noticed the estimation in which they are held; -and, by a very charitable induction from all these circumstances, I -cannot help coming to the conclusion, that they are totally incapable, -of their own knowledge, of determining who is, or who is not, a fit -person for being porter to the Athenian college, far less professor of -the humblest art or science held forth upon within its walls, not even -excepting the professor of agriculture, or, as he is aptly termed, “the -doctor of dunghills.” - -Accordingly, though in times past, and not very long past, there have -been found, in sundry chairs of the Athenian university, men who -would have done honour to any college in any country, I looked for a -continuation of men of the same talents and eminence; but though I -looked for them, I found them not. The time has not long gone by, when -the principal of that university was numbered, if not with the most -learned and profound, at least with the most elegant of historians; -but I should be glad to be informed of what person, or thing, or -circumstance, the being that I found holding the supreme sway in -the Athenian university, and in its metropolitan name, presenting -himself before the King, as a specimen and representative of all the -universities of Scotland, could write the history. It is true, that -the office of this person is not much else than a sinecure, as he -seldom comes before the public, except when his name stands rubric to -a diploma; but, if an image is found with a wooden head, people are -apt to turn away, without any very much examination of the limbs. It -is said, more wittily than wisely perhaps, among the fledglings at the -seats of science in the south, that “whatever may be the walls, the -heads of houses are most commonly of lead;” and the saying might be -carried to the Athens, if it were worth the trouble. I was told that, -if at some former point of Athenian history, this personage had not -been a bachelor, and the daughter of a quondam provost of the Athens -a damsel to be wooed, the college of the Athens might have gone all -unprincipaled for him; but the Athenians are so prone to drill holes in -the glory of each other, that one never knows how much of their story -to believe. - -Still, if the nomination of the masters of Eton and Winchester, and the -doctors of Isis and Cam, were deputed to the corporation of London, -England would tremble for her learned fame; and yet no one can deny -that the court of aldermen, notwithstanding the mental and corporeal -obesity of which they are accused, are far more promising patrons for -such purposes, than the town-council of the Athens. Their own election -depends upon a greater number of persons, and before they can carry it, -they must have some superiority over the freemen of their ward,--the -means of flattering and bribing them, if nothing else; but, in the -Athens, there is not the smallest test of talent previous to a man’s -being chosen an elector of professors; and, therefore, no pledge that -he either will or can exercise that function in a proper manner. - -The “_avisamentum eorum ministrorum_” has no tendency to amend the -matter; for the advice which these worthies are most likely to give, -is, that themselves are the fittest of all possible professors,--a -proposition, of which the theoretical doubts are great, and they are -not lessened by experience. - -The ministers of the Edinburgh kirks, appointed by the same persons -as the professors, may be presumed to be appointed upon the same -principles; and thus, though they were conjoined with the others, -in the university nominations, it would be but an increase of the -evil,--the addition of the political son to that of the political -father; or, as Professor Leslie would express it, “a combination of -direct and retroflected dulness.” - -In consequence of these circumstances, the _eorum ministrorum_ have -usurped every professor’s chair in the Athenian college which can be -by any sophistry twisted into a compatibility with the functions of -a minister of the Kirk. After the very Reverend personage who, as -aforesaid, groans under the load of the principality (not of Wales), -the chairs, not only of divinity, church history, and Hebrew, but of -logic and rhetoric, and the belles lettres, are in the hands of the -Athenian priests. Now, though a parson _in esse_ be the most likely -person to teach divinity and church history, because those who are -parsons _in posse_ are the only persons that are likely to dip deeply -into such studies; though, in a country where Jews do not thrive, it -be a matter of no great moment who shall teach Hebrew, and though -logic and rhetoric, as they are usually taught, be no weighty matters, -yet there are substantial reasons why no officiating clergyman in the -Athens should hold any chair whatever in the college. - -In the first place, the Kirk of Scotland, at least according to her -book of discipline, recognises no clergyman who does not perform the -whole of his duties in his own person. She will have no “dumb dogs who -cannot bark,” and if they bark to the extent that she points out, they -will have no strength left even to hunt syllogisms in _Bar-ba-ra_, -or to nozzle up Hebrew roots. The minister of the Kirk is, by its -constitution, presumed not only to reside in his parish, and perform -divine service every Sunday, but to devote the whole of the week, that -is, as much of _every_ day of it, as other men of a similar rank in -life are supposed to devote to business, to visiting his people at -their houses, and receiving their visits at his own, instructing and -catechising the young, recommending the destitute to the charity of -the Kirk Session, praying by the bed-side of the dying, and performing -a number of other little offices of religion and charity, which -are supposed to be imperiously binding upon him in virtue of his -solemn vow of ordination. Ministers of the Kirk are furthermore not -understood to purchase their annual stock of “_Conciones Selectæ_” in -the booksellers’ shop, as is the case in some other places; and thus -every spare hour from the parochial duties of the week is presumed to -be taken up in preparing for the pulpit duties of the Sunday. Hence -a minister of the Scottish Kirk, who is in the possession of a cure, -cannot, in conscientious accordance with the oath that he takes when he -is inducted, or with the practical duties which he ought to perform, -accept of a professorship even of divinity or Hebrew. Either the -church-living should be such as to occupy by its duties and reward by -its emoluments, the whole of the incumbent’s time, or it should be so -altered as to bring it to this state. - -With regard to the professorships, again, it is extremely doubtful -whether even such of them as divinity and church history can be -profitably placed in the hands of the parsons; at any rate, one would -very naturally think that the duties of a professor’s chair should -be sufficiently arduous for occupying the whole of a mind as large -as that which falls to the ordinary run of clerical persons; while, -in the case of those of logic and rhetoric, the arts required in the -Parliament-House, the grand theatre of logical wrangling and rhetorical -display, not only in the Athens, but for all Scotland, the clumsy -concatenation and leaden style which I heard, even in the Athenian -pulpits, are strong presumptive evidence against the propriety of -having them intrusted to clerical hands. - -But it is not to those professorships alone that _eorum ministrorum_ -aspire. Not many years have gone by since the whole Athens was -thrown into confusion, because one of the brethren was not permitted -to squelch his carcass into the chair of mathematics, and become -the successor of MacLaurin, and Stewart, and Playfair; and had he -succeeded, the Athenians would perhaps ere now have had a clerical -expounder of “Dirlton’s Doubts” in the chair of law, and a holder -forth in the Tron Kirk wielding the anatomical scalpel during the -week. The objections taken to the better-qualified candidate upon that -occasion, were such as to throw considerable light upon the feeling of -_eorum ministrorum_ toward the university, and to enable one to form a -pretty accurate guess at what will be its state if their unquenchable -longing for it shall ever be fully satisfied. The exception which they -took was a grave charge of infidelity, founded upon an allusion to -David Hume, contained in a note to a purely philosophic book, and a -book, too, which, both from its subject and its style, was never likely -to get into general circulation, and would be read by nobody, merely on -account of the note--the only part which was impugned as being contrary -to the canons of orthodoxy. - -It must be allowed that, if its patronage were at all in decent hands, -the constitution of the Athenian university is not bad. The salaries -of the professors are all so small that if the livings are worth the -acceptance of men of talent, they must be chiefly made up of the small -annual fees payable by the students. This is a very wholesome plan, and -tends more to reward every one according to his real merits than that -which obtains at most other places. The patronage, however, with the -three elements of civil ignorance, political influence, and clerical -intrigue, arranged against the single and undefined good of the -institution, is more than enough to paralyze all the good which that -principle, properly supported, or even let alone, would be capable of -effecting. - -Those evils have begun to pervade the whole system. As the Athens -is the grand seat of lawyers, there will always be students for the -law classes, increasing with the increase that there is for lawyers; -but in every thing else the poison of decay has been infused, and -the decay itself has become visible. With the exception of Leslie, -who has written some very flaming articles in the Edinburgh Review, -and some books in which the path to geometry is made a little more -thorny than ever; of Jamieson, who has been most learned on slate and -granite; and Wilson, who has indited some pretty lake poetry, and -some pitiful political prose, of which he is said to be now highly -ashamed,--I did not hear that any of the Athenian professors have put -in a single claim for immortality. Even in her anatomical school, that -upon which she rested her fame the longest and the most securely, the -recent falling off has been great; and of all those who now shine in -the lists of her _senatus_ there is none able to hold the book for -Gregory, or the scalpel for old Monro, or light the furnace for Black. -I understand that for the fragments of her medical school that remain, -the Athens is almost wholly dependant upon private lecturers; that -the students pay their fees and enter their names at the college, not -with any view of attending the classes there, but because the fees -and entries are necessary for the ceremony of graduation. But for the -celebrity of her professors, the Athens possesses no advantages as -the locality of a medical school. From the nature and pursuits of the -Athenian society, there is neither that variety of patients, nor that -variety of cases, which is found in cities even of equal population, -where a large portion of the people are engaged in manufactures. That -it is as good in this respect as Glasgow begins to be doubted, as a -considerable number of medical students now attend the Glasgow college -in preference; and that it is any way comparable to London, as a school -of surgery, no one can suppose. If the medical glory of the Athenian -college continue to decrease as it has done for some time, that college -will soon become, like the Athens herself, a pensionary upon the law -and the politics of Scotland. - -But if there be those causes of mortality in the college, there is -not much hope of life in any of the other philosophic institutions of -the Athens. Royal societies are no where much better than coteries -of old wives; and, judging from their recent pursuits, that of the -Athens can form no exception to the general character. That a poet -and novelist should be the president of such an institution, is proof -that the number of Athenian philosophers cannot be great; and however -successful and deserving of success such a person may be in his other -and lighter capacity, he is not the most likely man to give soundness -and solidity to the speculations of philosophers. The fact is, that -with the exception of the teacher of a class, and the editor of an -Encyclopedia, (who are of course but very heavy and humdrum persons,) -and a wisdom-struck squire or two, who take to the amusement of the -small philosophy of mosses and muscle-shells rather than the small -carpentry of snuff-boxes and fiddles, and who would be quite eclipsed -in any other place, there is nothing in the Athens which can be called -an amateur philosopher, and of the professional ones I have already -spoken. - -In their philosophical opinions, the Athenians are an absolute -pendulum; and when the history of their swingings this way and that -way is looked at, they seem to be a pendulum which has no continued -stimulus of motion, but of which the oscillations, though not fewer in -number, gradually become more and more insignificant in range. While -David Hume was lord of the ascendant, the Athenians doubted every thing -but their own wisdom and importance; under Adam Smith, they considered -“moral sentiments” as being valuable only in “theory,” and learned -“economy” in their “politics,” by bringing all their disposable votes -and vices to the best market. Under Robertson, they knew all history; -and with Blair, every sentence was taken from the storehouse of the -Belles Lettres, and measured by the gauge of Rhetoric. When Reid and -Dugald Stewart turned the tables upon the sceptics, the Athenians were -entirely composed of intellectual or of active powers, and they were -drawn and held by the sweetest cords of association. With Playfair, -they attempted to go quietly to the very depth of philosophic systems; -and anon, they started to the moon with Dr. Brewster. While Leslie was -new, they burned and sweated with him in all the ardour of radiant -caloric; and now they lie upon mossy banks, prepared for them by -Brewster, Jamieson, and Sir George, and listen to the tales of Sir -Walter, or to the ghost stories of Dr. Hibbert. Thus have opinions -changed, and importances have faded away; but the Athenians have in -their nature remained the same. So change the phases of the moon, now -beamy, anon blank; now pushing her horns eastward, now westward,--but -still the same dark globe, without light save that which it has at -second-hand from another. - - - - -CHAPTER VIII. - -LITERATURE OF THE ATHENS. - - _Pol._ What do you read, my lord? - _Ham._ Words, words, words! - _Pol._ What is the matter, my lord? - _Ham._ Between who? - _Pol._ I mean the matter that you read, my lord. - _Ham._ Slanders, Sir. - - SHAKSPEARE. - - -IF there be nothing by which the Athens really profits so much as her -law, there is nothing of which she is so ready, or so willing to boast, -as her literature. That is, as it were, her Benjamin--her youngest-born -child--the darling of her dotage, so to speak; and it is loved and -lauded in proportion to the lateness of its appearance. - -In the whole literature of Scotland there is, indeed, a wonderful -hiatus,--an interruption, for which it would be impossible to account, -if one were not to look at her political and religious history. -Previous to the Reformation, the bards of Scotland sung as sweetly, -and her monks were as full and fabulous in their chronicles as those -of any other part of the world; and that dawn of intellect--that -day-spring of the mind, shone as warmly and as well upon the bleak -hills of Caledonia, as upon the green pastures of more fertile lands. -The classical elegance, and the keen and searching satire of Buchannan, -the stern and stubborn eloquence of Knox, and the polished but manly -sentences of Melville, will bear a comparison with any thing that -appeared contemporaneously in other countries: but after them, there -comes a dreary and desolate blank; and while other nations are rapidly -running the career of knowledge, adding book to book, and illustrious -name to illustrious name, Scotland appears not in the catalogue, except -in a manner which is even more melancholy than if she appeared not at -all. How is this to be accounted for? In theory it would be impossible: -with the facts before one, it becomes the easiest thing in the world. - -No sooner had the morning of the Reformation shone upon Scotland, than -her horizon was obscured by the clouds of civil war; and scarcely -were her men prepared for taking up the pen for the information and -amusement of their fellows, when they were obliged to draw the sword -for their defence; and that energy which in happier times would have -trimmed the lamp of science, and tuned the harp of song, was obliged -to struggle night and day, if so be that it could preserve but a spark -of liberty, or even keep the life. That despotism and debauchery, which -Mary the Regent and Mary the Queen attempted, through their French -connexions, and by means of their French mercenaries, to introduce -into Scotland, was of itself sufficient to render the intellectual -improvement of the country stationary for an age; and though the -resistance with which it met tended not only to preserve but to -strengthen the free spirit of the people, it forbade the cultivation of -the arts of peace. The conduct of James, all shuffling and pedantic as -it was, did not, while he remained in Scotland, tend to make matters -improve; and upon his removal to England, Scotland may be said to -have been given up to that delegated despotism of influence, which, -under various forms and names, has continued to afflict her to the -present day, and must so continue till an uniformity of civil and -political law be established over the whole island. From the beginning -of the troubles under Charles, to the Revolution in 1688, the state -of Scotland was such as to leave literature entirely out of the -question. The great body of the people--at least of that part of them -who otherwise might have studied, or rewarded the study of literature, -were not only driven from all places congenial for literary purposes, -but even from the fastnesses of the mountains, and the caves of the -rocks; and though a Scotchman was occasionally returning from foreign -parts to let his countrymen know what the rest of the world were doing, -terror and oppression were too general for promoting any imitation. -At that time, too, one half the extent of Scotland was in a state of -the most abject ignorance: the feudal law, in the Highlands, was in -full exercise; and when all the chiefs could not read, it was not to -be expected that there would be much taste for literature among their -vassals. Thus, it was not till the termination of the second rebellion -in favour of the Stuarts, in 1745, that the people of Scotland -generally began to have a literary taste. A sure foundation for such a -taste had, indeed, been previously laid, in the provision that within -every parish in Scotland there should not only be a school, but a -school so regulated as that the poorest, as well as the most opulent, -might reap the benefit of it; but up to this period, and indeed for -some time after, the literature of those schools was confined to the -catechisms of the church and the reading of the Bible; and if any -literary work found its way into a Scotch farm-house or cottage, if -large, it was a treatise on mystic or polemical divinity, and if small, -it was a legendary ballad, or a sermon by some pious divine, whose -style was not the most classical, or his language the most easily -understood. - -It is not, indeed, fifty years since there was any thing like a regular -bookseller, or a printing-press employed for literary purposes, in -the Athens. Before that time, there were persons who sold Bibles, and -catechisms, and ballads, and penny almanacks, in divers nooks about -Libberton Wynd and the Lucken Booths; and there were printers who, -when a process before the Court of Session became too voluminous, or -when the parties could not afford to pay for as many written copies as -were necessary, put the eloquence of the advocates, and the wisdom of -the judges, into types. An occasional parson, too, would become so far -enamoured of his own powers of holding forth, as to have a sermon, or -homily, upon some question of the catechism, or point of the confession -of faith, printed and published; but previous to the year 1780, it was -very rare indeed to find an Athenian bibliopole speculating in any -literary work, the price of which was to be more than sixpence; and as -for paying a man for literary labour, the Athenians would as soon have -thought of paying a Lapland witch for procuring foul weather. - -With regard to the literature of the Athens, it is worthy of remark -that the time of George the Third corresponded with that of Anne in -England; and that when the style of writing south of the Tweed was -changing to another, if not to a better model, the wits of the Athens -were imitating the Tatlers and Spectators. - -The era of the French revolution was a remarkable one in the -literature, if not particularly of the Athens, at least of the rest of -Scotland; and the reading of the pamphlets of that time, which probably -the people would have been as well without, led to the establishment of -subscription libraries throughout the country, and made those readers, -and in some measure critics, in general literature, whose whole course -of study had previously been theological. But until very recently, the -periodical literature of the Athens was hardly deserving the name. The -Athenian newspapers were always dull and spiritless, and while the -politics of the Athens remain what they are, there is no chance that -they shall become better. In the provincial parts of Scotland, I met -with several journals written with great taste, spirit, and liberality; -but in the Athens, there is only one worth naming,--the “Scotsman;” and -that, whether through fear of the party or from what other cause, I -know not, I found not to be such as I would have expected. I found it a -sensible production, certainly, and as much superior to the others as -can well be imagined; but it is by no means what would be expected from -people pretending to so much intellect, and freedom, as the party by -whom it was supported. - -If the “Scotsman” had appeared in London, it would not have produced -almost any sensation. It would have been allowed to take its place -far down in the list of weekly journals; but in the Athens, I was -told that it excited no small degree of alarm among the official men. -Just about that time, a blow had been given to that bank influence by -which they had been in the habit of crushing every opponent to their -measures, whom they could not get indicted and brought to trial; and -this, together with the strong and general feeling against them that -was at that time spread over the country, and the appearance of a free -journal, even at the very seat of their power, which dared not merely -to dispute their principles, but even to expose their practice, was -enough to alarm those who were not accustomed to any opposition, and -whose hands were understood to be not over and above clean. When the -early numbers of the “Scotsman” were distributed over the city, spies -were appointed to dog the messengers, and take a note of those at whose -houses copies were delivered; and it was generally believed that the -lists were transcribed for the edification both of the crown lawyers -and of the Athenian magistrates. - -But the greatest and most extraordinary step that ever was taken in -the periodical literature of the Athens, or indeed of any country, was -the appearance of the Edinburgh Review,--a work, the boldness, spirit, -and originality of which were at the time altogether unprecedented, -and which never yet have been, and probably never will be, equalled. -The Edinburgh Review was happy both in the time and the manner of its -appearance. Periodical literature had been quite stagnant in the Athens -from the time of the Loungers and Mirrors; and they had become too -trifling for the awakened and agitated spirit of the age. In London -there were some reviews, but the best of them were in the hands of -religious sectaries, who puzzled themselves and plagued their readers -with questions which nobody could solve, and nobody would have taken -the trouble to solve, even if they could. The whole of them were either -tame or timid; and folks continued to buy them rather with a view of -keeping their sets unbroken till chance should introduce amendment, -than from any desire to read them. The war which had just terminated -had been expensive, and excepting those for whom offices had been -obtained, there was nobody with whom it had ever been popular; and -the war that was beginning, or begun, had not much to recommend it. -There was, indeed, much to say against the conduct of the Continental -courts, and even against that of the English administration; people -were well prepared and anxious to hear it; and there was no publication -of the day of sufficient interest in any way to divide or divert the -attention. The Review came like thunder; and to give it the more -effect, it came like thunder when the air is still, and when men are -listening. - -Great, however, as was the talent displayed in the Review, and wide and -wonderful as was the sensation which it produced upon its very first -appearance, the Athens had little merit in it, except the mere name. -The publisher, though he subsequently rose as high in that trade as -any English publisher of the time, was then but a young man, not much -known, and not much recognised or esteemed by the Athenians; the editor -was also a young man, recently returned from England; and the most -spirited contributors to the very early numbers, had by no means had -their minds formed upon the Athenian model. The effect which the Review -produced was also not perhaps so great in the Athens as in London; -and it was only when it had taken its place in the literary world, -and the acknowledgment of it was an honour, that the Athenians began -to identify it with themselves, and at no time was the identification -general,--nor could the whole talent of the Athens, even when in its -best days, have supported the Review for a single year. - -Besides, though the real ability of the Edinburgh Review was great, -the vast popularity which it so speedily obtained, and the brilliant -course which it ran, were unquestionably more owing to the novelty of -its plan, and the fact of its advocating those political principles -which were agreeable to the majority of people at the time, than to its -merits. - -One cause of the rise of the Edinburgh Review, and perhaps also one -cause of its comparative fall, is the uniformity with which it has -all along followed the Whig party. Before that party got into office, -and when, in consequence of their boldness and lofty pretensions as -oppositionists, the opinions of the Edinburgh Review,--at least, its -political opinions,--which were all along the ones upon which the -greater part of its celebrity rested,--were by many received as the -infallible oracles of truth; and when the trial which the country had -had of that party shook them a little in public estimation, though -the Review received a shock along with them, it still retained a -considerable portion of its influence. But, as the opinions of men -became a little more liberal, and the frequency of disappointment -made them more and more suspicious of all parties, some Jesuitical -articles in the Review, on the subjects of representation and reform, -shook the confidence of the people in it; while, much about the same -time, or, at least, not long afterwards, the failure of its prophecies -with regard to the ultimate success of Buonaparte, laid it open to -the attacks of the Tories. For the first of these suspicions, there -appeared to be but too much foundation; and though the latter was more -Jesuitical than just, still it was the interest of the parties to press -it to extremity. When the Edinburgh Review predicted the ultimate -triumph of Napoleon, it did not, of course, anticipate, that he would, -with the example of Charles XII. before him, undertake so hazardous -an enterprise as a winter campaign into the interior of Russia; but -the Review did not enter a caveat against such an excursion; and, -therefore, it was held as prophesying in the face of this as well as of -all the other chances. - -I have noticed those circumstances with a view of showing, not only -that the absolute literary merits of the Edinburgh Review were not the -sole cause of its popularity, but that even though they had, the merit -does not in whole, or even in the greater part, belong to the Athens. -The Athens never could, of her own will, ability, and patronage, -support a single literary man; and it could not well be expected that -she could, for any length of time, support a literary work. - -The first of these positions may be established by a reference to the -history of the whole literary men of the Athens, as well as to the -state which they are in at the present time; and the second, besides -being a necessary and legitimate deduction from the first, may be -confirmed by an appeal to the facts. - -Allan Ramsay was the first Athenian writer, after the hiatus of which -I have spoken; and Allan addressed himself as much to the taste -and foibles of the Athens as it was possible for one of so limited -education and limited powers to do. Allan made a comfortable living; -but he did not make that as a poet; he did it, first, as a hairdresser, -and then as a bookseller, and as the keeper of a circulating library, -which, being the first of the kind in the Athens, proved a most -fortunate speculation. The works of Colin Maclaurin, and some of the -other illustrious men, of which the Athens never was worthy, were put -into circulation as much in the way of charity to their families, -as from any love for those sciences and arts of which they were the -ornaments. - -Robert Ferguson was pre-eminently the poet of the Athens. Born within -her walls, he devoted his muse to the chanting of her praises; and how -did she reward her tuneful son? Why, she blamed him because he wrote -verses rather than law papers; she liked his songs, and she sung them; -but she would give him no reward for his labour; and poor Ferguson, -neglected, heart-broken, and starved, ended his days in a mad-house; -and his ungrateful step-dame, the Athens,--that city, which, if one -would be silly enough to believe her, is the model, the encourager, -and the rewarder, of all taste, would not do for him, what England, -even in her worst and most worthless times, did for the poets whom -she starved,--she would not give him a monument,--no, not so much as -an unhewn stone, to let it be known that one grave in the Canon-gate -church-yard contained holier dust than that of a baron bailie. - -Even when the immortal Burns came, to shame a selfish, -undiscriminating, and ungrateful land, the Athens made not the -slightest attempt to wash out the foul stain which she had given -herself in the case of Ferguson. Burns put her in mind of that stain, -not only by the erection of the little tomb-stone over his unfortunate -brother; but in a monument more durable,--a poem, which, had there -been any soul within the cold ribs of the Athens, would have harrowed -it with remorse, that might have been a stimulus to repentance. But -the Athens took it all with that sang-froid which is the concomitant -and the characteristic of reckless and self-sufficient dulness; and -no where in the whole history of literature, is there an instance of -neglect more mean, and ingratitude more disgraceful, than that of the -Athens, for Robert Burns. She lured him, by fair promises, within her -siren and seductive walls. Day after day, and week after week, she -dipt him deeper in that dissipation, of which she knows better how to -set the example than any city between Kent and Caithness. She showed -him about, from tavern to tavern, from one evening party to another, -and through every one of her hundred scenes and sinks of vice; and -this precious work she continued, till the prospects which he had left -behind were blasted, and his own powers and habits spoiled; and the -moment she had done this, she had the baseness, not only to drive him -helpless back upon the world, but to slander his name for practices -which none but herself had taught him. - -In a word, when I look at the literary men, whom evil stars have -confined to the Athens, or, in any way made to look to her for -patronage, I find a few who have succeeded, because it has not been in -her power to injure them; and all upon whom she has had power, lost and -ruined. Even Jeffrey, if he had not had his fees to bear him out, and -if his journal had not been patronised in London, might have written -his Review in vain; ay, and Scott, who perhaps persevered longer in -writing in obscurity than any other author of the present times, -would long ere now have been mute or a maniac, had he not possessed -some property, held a public office, and been a fierce and forward -party-man. Among them all, there has never been an author in the Athens -who has lived even decently by literature alone,--as little is there, -at this moment, within the whole of her compass, a single person above -starvation, who has not some other occupation or emolument, than that -of a literary man. - -The Edinburgh Review, the only periodical work of any consequence in -the Athens which professes to be liberal, and which rests its character -upon its merits, and affords a revenue to any body, does not support -one literary man in the city, nor is there one Athenian contributor to -it, of whom literature is the only or even the chief means of support. -Even the editor, well as it is alleged he is paid for his labour, finds -the wrangling of the bar a more lucrative employment, addicts himself -more and more to it, and more and more withdraws himself from the -Review; while the place of those Athenian writers of the higher class -who have died away, without being followed by successors worthy of -them in their avowed professions, are not replaced in the journal by -Athenian writers at all, but by mere hacks of London, who have been so -long upon the town that nobody sets much store by their lucubrations. - -The oldest literary journal in the Athens,--the one which was once -named after the whole of Scotland, and which is now named peculiarly -after the Athens, is perhaps the one which should be taken as the -proper test of her literary powers. - -Professing to be of no party in politics, but to set forth the -literature of the day in an independent and gentleman-like style, -and having the stamp of hoary eld, and the connexion of the foremost -bookseller of the Athens to recommend and push it into notice, one -would suppose that the Edinburgh Magazine would be elegant in its -structure, and extensive in its circulation. But it is neither the one -nor the other. When I was in the Athens, the reputed editor was one of -those miserable and pretending quacks who can write nothing, and whose -taste and opinion are not worth a single straw,--a fellow, who would -indeed pretend to an intimacy with the illustrious men both of England -and of Scotland, but who never, by any chance, could have been in -company with one of them; and who had been appointed to this miserable -editorship, because nobody who could write a single page, or give a -sensible opinion upon a single book or subject, could be found, that -would have any thing to do with it. - -The great success of the Edinburgh Review tempted the cupidity of -other booksellers; and, as there was no possibility of contending with -it in the same class of writing, or on the same side of politics, a -journal of a novel description, not only in the Athens, but in the -world generally, was begun. The celebrity of the Review, and the -superiority of the Whig advocates, had given a Whig bias, at least as -far as speech was concerned, to all the young lawyers of any spirit -and pretensions. To so great a degree had this been carried, that even -the sons of the most super-ultra devotees to the existing system spoke -against sinecures, and hinted that there were such things as the rights -of the people. Great alarm was the consequence; because the holders of -office found that they would be spoiled of their honours and emoluments -through the liberality of their own children. The fear was, no doubt, -groundless; for had they taken themselves as a test of patriotism, -they would have found that office and emolument are not things of such -feeble power. But they were alarmed, and cast about to devise means -for reclaiming the wandering boys back to the good old and profitable -path. There was a sort of simultaneous movement on the part of the boys -themselves. They had taken up the Whig song, just because it was the -popular one at the time; and they had looked for a share of that public -approbation and renown, which had for a considerable time been bestowed -upon the more illustrious of the Whigs. But they were disappointed: -either they had made an undue estimate of their own powers, or the -demands already established upon this approbation and renown were as -great as it could bear. Considering the quarter whence these unnatural -infants of place came, they were probably suspected,--at any rate, -they were left for a few years, dancing attendance at the heels of the -Whigs, in a neglect more contemptuous and complete than was wise in the -one party, or fair toward the other. - -This happened just about the time when there was a sort of movement -against the Whigs on the part of the Tories, and a sort of movement -from them on the part of the people. An appetite was, in short, -created, which called for food different from the sapless husk of the -Edinburgh Magazine, and the hard and political fare of the Review. -Various causes conspired to give body to this appetite; and Blackwood’s -Magazine was the thing produced. Still the party would not have had -courage actually to start that Magazine; for there was a sort of -belief afloat, that anybody, who would venture to publish in the Athens -that which was not Whig, would fail, and anybody who would attack the -Whigs would be mauled for his pains. The Magazine was started by very -plain and unpretending--at any rate, unwarlike Athenian men of letters. -They had a misunderstanding with Blackwood; he got rid of them, and the -Athens began to taste the racy productions of the Tory press. Even this -cannot be reckoned an Athenian production; for England and Ireland had -to be ransacked ere contributors could found, and even yet, Blackwood, -with the aid of his brother the bailie, is editor. - -When a sufficient number of those who, as was supposed, would not be -kept back either by moral or by literary scruples, had been collected -together, the campaign was commenced. At first, they seemed to have -only two objects in view,--the vilification of all persons who were -supposed to be either directly or indirectly connected with the Whigs, -more especially with the Edinburgh Review; and a disposition to boast -of their own debauchery, immorality, and want of principle, in order to -disarm any one who might attack them upon that ground. - -Slander, especially if it be levelled against persons whom the vulgar -account it boldness to attack, and couched in careless and indifferent -terms, is always sure to please somebody; and, from what I saw and -heard, there are no people to whom it is more agreeable than to certain -parties in the Athens. Accordingly, those opinions which, for half an -age, the people of the Athens had been taught to receive, without so -much as questioning their soundness, were turned into burlesque and -ribaldry; and those persons to whom they had been accustomed to look -up with respect and veneration, were ridiculed and abused. As those -opinions and those persons were alike obnoxious to the ruling faction -in the Athens--though that faction had never ventured to express its -dislike--they received the new style of writing with no common degree -of delight and gratitude. Themselves and their cause had been so -long and so severely cudgelled and exposed, that they had given up -all hopes of having any thing said in their favour. Therefore, they -regarded the productions of those, who took up that line of conduct -merely because it was the only one in which they had even a chance of -success, as hearty and devoted champions; and the writers, finding that -they met with more patronage, and patronage which promised to lead -to more advantageous results than they had calculated, became more -and more decidedly partisans, and waxed more bold and barefaced in -their attacks. A coarse and clumsy imitation of the biblical style, -which would have passed unnoticed, but for its local applications, -and its gross personality, gave very general offence, and for that -reason procured them a notoriety which otherwise they would probably -never have obtained; and some cruel insinuations against a venerable -personage whom the whole country had looked up to as a model, both of -a man and of a philosopher, were believed to give him so much pain, -when the decay of nature had all but put an end to a long career of -usefulness and celebrity, that they fancied no one was too low or too -high for feeling their attacks. - -It must be allowed that both novelty and talent were displayed in those -productions,--at least in some of them. The style and manner were -altogether new: a sort of virgin-soil, as it were, had been turned up -for culture; and though by far the greater portion of its produce was -weeds, and weeds too of the rankest description, yet they had all the -vigour and greenness of a first crop. Periodical writing had for a -long time consisted of abstract disquisitions, or tales which had no -decided locality, or connexion with individual and existing character; -and whatever may have been the practices of the writers, they kept up -a regular show of sobriety and morality in their writings. But the -writers of Blackwood’s Journal not only seasoned their productions -with unsparing personality, but affected to be adepts in debauchery, -and pretended to keep no secrets from their readers, even in the most -unseemly of their carousals. Having manufactured ideal names and -characters for themselves, they treated these in the most unceremonious -manner; and this, in some measure, took off the edge of that -indignation which otherwise would have been felt at their treatment -of real characters. More than any thing, they succeeded; and success -is generally received as the test not only of ability, but of a good -cause, in literature as well as in war. If Blackwood’s Magazine had -never got into considerable circulation, the writers in it would have -been regarded as miserable and malicious rebels from the honest cause -of literature; but as they were in so far successful, they obtained in -some degree the renown of heroes. - -Among those writers there were, unquestionably, some of talents far -superior to what may be supposed the average of those who contribute -to ordinary magazines; and though these for a time took part in the -ribald practices of the publication, and were pleased for a season with -that eclât which such practices are supposed to afford; yet still, new -in what might be considered as the most blamable perversions of their -talents, there were gleams of a better spirit, and promises that they -could not always follow the same course. That some of the best of them -have already done so, is apparent from the altered spirit of the later -numbers, in which there is an attempt at the same external appearance, -but a visible paucity in spirit; and the probability is that, ere long, -Blackwood’s Magazine, which has always had a considerable portion of -its articles from London, will gradually derive its supplies more and -more from that quarter, or dwindle to the same inanity as its monthly -brother of the Athens. - -Indeed, the whole tenor of Blackwood is of a description which cannot -be permanent. It offers no principle upon which the mind of an -unprejudiced and independent man can dwell at the time, and as little -to which any body can refer afterwards for the purpose of obtaining -information. Personality, if bold, daring,--or, to use one of its -own terms, _blackguard_ enough, is sure to make a noise at the time; -but its interest is short in proportion to its intensity. For the -philosophic discussion of any one subject, for the establishing of any -one principle in science, in morals, or in politics, or for any one -addition to the stock of human information, it is in vain to look back -at the book; and though people talk about it (and they talk less and -less about every successive number,) at the period of its appearance, -it may be supposed to pass of necessity into the same speedy oblivion -as the animosities or whims by which it was produced; and that future -men will have no more desire to know how written slander was managed in -the days of Blackwood, than they have at present to know in what terms -the ladies of Billingsgate rated each other when the Tower of London -was a seat of royalty. - -Some may indeed suppose, that as this species of writing is not -kept back by any inflexibility of principle from bending round all -the sinuosities, and accommodating itself to all the crooked paths -of corruption, it will continue to find enough of support from the -official men of the Athens, and their coadjutors and underlings -throughout Scotland; this, however, is by no means the case. Those -persons have no love for literature of any description: their deeds -are such as will not bear any kind of light, and the whole of their -hopes are centred in the one circumstance of the public’s being kept -in ignorance of what they are doing. Like criminals under trial, their -only chance is in an attempt to shake the credibility of the witnesses -against them; and if they attempt a direct defence of themselves, it -is sure to render their offences more palpable, and their condemnation -more certain. So long as public opinion remains, and the whole -appearances of the times give promise that it will continue to gather -strength rather than to decay--it is a tribunal to which none but those -who have a wish to stand well with the public will be disposed to -appeal; and therefore, how much soever the official men of the Athens -may have been gratified by the attempts which the writers in Blackwood -have made to traduce their political opponents, and turn them into -ridicule, there is nothing at which they would be so much alarmed, or -indeed have so much cause to be alarmed, as an attempt at their own -justification, even in the same pages. As long as such writers as those -in Blackwood confine themselves to personal attacks in the offensive -way, so long will they not be dreaded or disliked by that party of -which they endeavour to hold themselves out as the champions; but the -moment that they depart from this offensive mode of personal warfare, -and take a single position upon the real ground in dispute, from that -moment the whole of their batteries, whether they will or not, must -be turned against those whom they affect to defend. Thus, though they -may have been useful in effecting a momentary distraction of public -attention, they neither have, nor can they overturn a single principle -of those against whom their ribaldry is directed, nor establish one for -those whom they call their friends. - -There is another thing against their permanence. Men, whether official -or not, are never fond of having that brought prominently forward in -which themselves do not excel. Now if one were to pitch upon the very -weakest point--the blank as it were in the official men of Scotland, -and of the Athens, that upon which one would pitch would be literature. -The civic part of them, from their education, their associates, and -the whole tenour of their lives, can neither love a book, nor, indeed, -know any thing about it; and if the opposition and liberal men of -the Athens, who after all are by very much the majority, are utterly -unable or unwilling to support even one literary man, it is not to be -supposed that the other party who are fewer in number, and ever fearful -of exposure, can have more ability or more disposition. No doubt, such -of the writers for Blackwood as know the extreme barrenness of the -ruling men in the Athens, in all matters of taste and information, and -the more fond and forcible predilection which they have for dining in -taverns and carousing in ale-houses, and who have marked that those -ears which are deaf as their kindred clay to every voice of elegance or -of criticism, are open as their mouths for a dinner, or their hands for -a bribe, when grossness usurps the place of taste, and ribaldry comes -in the stead of science,--no doubt those writers have risked a hope in -supplying husks for the Athenian swine; but though the deeds have been -immoral, the remembrance of them will not be immortal; and though there -may always be a few that, seeking their chief pleasure, and finding -their only renown in their own debauchery, are pleased to see deeds -worthless as their own, - - “Register’d to fame eternal, - In deathless pages of diurnal;” - -Yet even this would not have succeeded with the public generally, at -any period, and it perhaps could have had less chance at no period than -it has at present, when the rapid spread of intercourse and information -is, in spite of all official and other efforts to the contrary, -diffusing a more rational taste even down to the very humblest classes -of society. Men in office, however inferior and second-rate that office -may be, and however mean may be their own tastes, and grovelling their -own habits, will not--dare not, continue long to pride themselves in, -or even privately to encourage, that from which the peasantry turn -away in disgust; and, ere many additional years have been added to -the Kalendar, it will be found that those superior spirits who lent -themselves to this work for a time, in the hope that it would serve -them as a stepping-stone for getting into office, will become ashamed -of it in consequence of having obtained their objects, or disgusted, -because that which they must have felt as a degradation, has to them, -also, proved a deception. - -But, whatever of good or of evil, of liveliness or of licentiousness, -of the misapplication of talent, or the miserable labour of that which -is no talent at all, may be found in the school of writing, of which -Blackwood’s Magazine hitherto forms the chief specimen, the Athens -assuredly has neither the merit nor the demerit of originating that -school; and if all support, except what the Athens could give it, were -to be withdrawn, the remainder of its existence would not exceed one -month. - -Having heard a great deal about the intellectuality of the Athens, and -its superiority in genius, in taste, and in literature, above every -other city in the world, I made a point of examining, with all the -care and candour that I could exercise. I began too, with a strong, -yes, a very strong prejudice in its favour; for it had been rung -again and again in my ears, that, compared with what was to be found -here, the whole world beside was an empire of dulness. But my fond, -and as it proved to be my foolish prejudice, became less and less, -at every step; and, whether I would or not, I was compelled to see, -that the greater part of the name which somehow or other the Athens -has gotten, has been gotten through the unceasing brazen-frontedness -of her own self-idolatry. In various parts of the Athens, I found men -_pirouetting_ in small evolutions of what they call philosophy. One, -for instance, worshipping the wings of a butterfly; and another drawing -lines and circles upon a human skull, and measuring the talents and -propensities of the unknown owner very gravely with a pair of compasses -and scale; a third, taking up the visions of Robert Owen of New Lanark, -was bewildering himself in an attempt so to arrange the human race, -as that the square of the oblique diagonal of conduct should be equal -to the two squares of the base of nature, and the perpendicular of -education; a fourth was proving by coal and limestone, that the globe -had been boiled; and a fifth, by porphyry and basalt, that it had been -roasted. One learned professor, the very apex of the triangle of the -Athenian science,--who, in his time, has tested hell, as it were--has, -in the ardour of his inquiries after and into things hot and cold, -alternately deputed his - - ----------------“delighted spirit - To bathe in fiery floods, or to reside - In thrilling regions of the thick-ribb’d ice,”-- - -was reported to me, (for I did not _then_ see him,) not exactly - - “To be imprisoned in the viewless wind, - And blown with restless violence round about - The pendent world,” - -but to have made one of the most singular experiments upon the said -winds themselves, that ever entered into a philosophic head. This -learned personage, whom the Athenian magistrates had at one time -refused to expel from the city “_cum avisamento eorum ministrorum_,” -upon the alleged ground of his being a conjuror, had made long and -laborious experiments in all sorts of heating and cooling, physical and -metaphysical. When other matters and fires were nearly exhausted with -him, it struck him that it would excite mortal wonder, and win immortal -renown, if he could bring atmospheric air to a red heat. He foresaw, -that if he should succeed in this experiment, it would be farewell to -both gas and steam; and there would be no need of dangerous boilers, -castiron pipes, smoking chimneys, and all the other casualties of the -new power and the new light. If this degree of temperature could be -communicated to the atmosphere, the fondest dreams of mankind would be -realized,--the midnight air might be rendered more glorious than the -sun; winter might be driven within the polar circle; the precinct of -the Holyrood might be made fragrant with spices, and fat with olives; -and the vine might clothe the now naked crags, green with never-fading -leaves, and purple with perennial grapes. That which promised so many -and so delightful advantages was worth trying, and so the philosophic -personage is reported to have gone about his experiment in this wise:-- - -He procured a bagpipe; and having dissected away the chanter, the -drones, and the bellows,--making the stumps secure with ligatures, he -carried the inflated bag to a neighbouring barn, and set two brawny -peasants a-threshing it with their flails, while he stood by, wishing -and wondering as to the result. What that result was, I was unable to -learn, and indeed I made not much inquiry respecting it,--and I mention -it only as one of the many instances in which I heard the Athenians -boast of their philosophy. - -But if they have no literary men, as such, of whom they can boast, they -have about as little title to put on airs about their literary taste. -In that, as well as in all other matters, they are idolaters; and it -may be truly said of them, as was said of the people of the elder -Athens, that the most conspicuous of their altars is “to the Unknown -God.” So long as Jeffrey was deemed infallible, they ventured no -opinion upon any point, until they knew how he had delivered himself. -When, for instance, he had, as he thought, blasted the laurels of Byron -in the bud, the cry that ran through the Athens was, “What a silly -fool to attempt to write poetry? But the Review has done his business. -_He_ will write no more at any rate.” When the retribution of the -“Scotch Reviewers” was hurled back, the worshippers of the Athens were -astonished, but they said nothing. The fact is, that they neither have -opinions of their own in such matters, nor have they leisure to form -them. - -The observations which I had occasion to make respecting the dramatic -taste of the Athenians are equally applicable to their taste, not only -in literature, but in every thing else. In youth their education is -too superficial, and when they grow up, the drudgery of the law, to -which so many of them are doomed, and which influences the habits of -the whole, together with that dissipation in which they indulge as -habitually and more deeply than any people with whom I am acquainted, -give a turn to their minds which is the very opposite of literary. -These causes will be more fully developed in the following chapter; -but there is one fact which is very remarkable, which the Athenians -themselves may as well be left to explain. Of the men who, from time -to time, have become illustrious in the Athens for their scientific or -literary attainments, hardly one has been born, and very few have been -educated, within her walls. They have almost uniformly been provincial -Scotchmen, and not a few of them have been students at the provincial -universities. So that while the Athens has not much to boast of in the -literary way, the little of which she can boast is not wholly her own. -Perhaps this is another of the desolations of the widowed metropolis. - - - - -CHAPTER IX. - -EDUCATION OF THE ATHENS. - - - Just as the twig is bent the tree’s inclined.--POPE. - - -IF there be one cause to which, more than others, we are to look for -an explanation of those peculiarities that distinguish the inhabitants -of one place from the inhabitants of others, that cause is education. -I do not mean that education which is given, or attempted to be given, -at schools and colleges, but that which is produced by the contact and -collision of those with whom young men associate at that important -period when they are beginning to think and to act for themselves. -There is no doubt that more of the character of society in the Athens -depends upon this circumstance than upon any thing else, as, so far as -my observation extended, there is more peculiarity in the treatment of -the Athenian youth at this period than in any other city of the British -empire. - -It is to this education, for life and not for literature, which I mean -chiefly to advert in this chapter. Still, it may not be amiss to -give a preliminary glance at the school education, not of the Athens -merely, but of Scotland generally, because on that, it strikes me, -Englishmen might find something both to learn and to imitate. The idea -of having one or more schools in each parish, so established that -no teacher can be appointed to them who is not well educated, and -so endowed that they can never be corrupted as the free-schools so -frequently are in England, or confined to the most opulent classes of -society, as the better class of schools are in that country, is one of -the best that ever entered into the imagination of any legislature. -Even in the remotest and most thinly-inhabited parish of Scotland, -the schoolmaster is a man of real information: not unfrequently the -son of humble parents, who, finding that he evinced talents and a -taste for learning, sent him to school, and to some one or other of -those cheap universities in Scotland, where, judging from the number -of illustrious names that they can boast of, learning is nothing the -worse for its cheapness, till he was qualified for orders; but who, -finding his influence insufficient for procuring him the ease and -indolence of a parsonage, took, as his only alternative, the humbler -and more laborious, but unquestionably more useful, office of parish -schoolmaster. Young men of this description are one of the greatest -blessings that a country can possess, and rather than that Scotland -should lose them, it were more for her welfare that all the boasted -philosophy, and all the brawling law of the Athens were at the bottom -of the sea. They may be said not only to pursue learning for its own -sake, and without any view either to honour or emolument, but also to -follow the profession of teachers from the same disinterested motives. -Since professions more lofty and lucrative than that of minister of the -Scotch Kirk monopolized the sons of the wealthier Scotch--since the -free sons of the mountains went to practise slavery in the west, and -those of the plains to get wealth and liver complaints in the east, -the ecclesiastical offices in Scotland have been almost exclusively -filled by the sons of the poor. These almost invariably pass a part -of their early life either as parochial schoolmasters or as tutors in -private families. The tutors are those who have the best connexion, the -most ambition, and the most fawning and obsequious habits. They are -menial servants, and with the education of gentlemen they are sent to -companion with butlers and valets, to humour the caprices of wayward -children, and to hear the fooleries of booby “lairds,” and the scorn -of assuming dames, who can see no merit but in being connected with -this, that, or the other family, which has borne the same name, and -inhabited the same lands since the first introduction of crows and -cow-stealing. Connected with this office, at least in the majority -of instances, there are humiliations to which no lad of spirit would -submit for the sake of the present emolument. The hope, and generally -the stipulation, of the tutor is, that his patron shall, when he has -drudged and degraded himself for the requisite number of years, “bless -him with a kirk;” and this abasement,--this bowing down before the -patron, in order that they may, in due time, rise to the living, is -one of the chief reasons why the Scotch parsons have swerved from that -independence of feeling and of action, of which the example was set -them by John Knox, and become as willing and obsequious worshippers at -the feet even of delegated power, or of unmerited place, as imagination -can picture to itself. If it were not that they are strained through -this filter, we should never have had them declaring, ex cathedrâ, that -the National Monument, a piece of gratuitous foolery, or vanity, or -political patchwork, was “a most suitable and appropriate expression -of gratitude to the Lord of Hosts.” If they had not been studying -somewhere else than in their bibles, their answer would have been-- - -“The Being, whom we profess to worship, and under whose protection -we certainly are, cannot be propitiated by votive offerings of stone -and lime; and the gallant deeds of our brave countrymen, however -gracefully they might be chiselled on the frieze of the ‘restored -Parthenon,’ could not, in the slightest degree, redound to his glory, -although they might, to a certain extent, flatter the vanity of men. -The offerings which He requires are not swelling columns and fretted -architraves: they are _deeds_--deeds of justice, beneficence, and -mercy, done to our fellow men. After He has enumerated the most costly -and splendid sacrifices-just for the purpose of declaring that in -his sight they avail nothing--He delivers this simple but heavenly -commandment, ‘Offer to God _thanksgiving_.’ To propose the erection -of _any edifice_, therefore, as ‘a most suitable and appropriate -expression of gratitude to the Lord of Hosts,’ savours little of the -knowledge and still less of the spirit of Christianity; and if no -edifice whatever could be such an expression, far less could a temple -which had been erected for the worship of dead and useless idols.” - -The filtration, or winnowing, or whatever process it may be called, -which has separated and set apart the more flexible portion of the -educated peasantry of Scotland for the peculiar service of the kirk, -has been in an eminent degree favourable for the schools, which have -thus reserved to them the most independent and generally also the most -enthusiastically devoted to learning. - -I should have mentioned ere now, that the men who fill learned -situations, or are engaged in literary pursuits in Scotland, ought, -in genius, though perhaps not always in education, to be superior to -men of the same description in England; for the expense of obtaining -any thing like a literary education in the latter country is so -great, and the disposition to obtain it is so contrary to the habits -of the humbler, and even the middle ranks of the people, that the -range of classes from whom the learned men of England can be taken, -is far narrower than that from which Scotland can make her election. -In England, a peasant or a small farmer never so much as dreams of -giving his son a classical or a university education; and even among -the wealthier yeomen and tradesmen this is seldom done, except with -an immediate view to a church living, to which if the person so -educated should not succeed, he returns back to the counter or the -counting-house. - -In Scotland, again, though the gates, at least of some species of -knowledge, do not stand open so widely or so long as in England, yet -they stand open to every class of the people; and thus, though the -population of Scotland be not one-sixth part of that of England, the -number of persons from whom the learned men of Scotland are chosen is -perhaps greater; indeed, it is positively greater, for the whole two -millions of the Scotch people are in this situation; and if all the -classes in England who have the power and the will to educate their -children be counted, they will be found far fewer than this. Now, -as the means of obtaining liberal education descend in society, the -quantity of talent must necessarily increase. In natural ability, a -hundred peasants, at least a hundred peasant boys, are not necessarily -inferior to the same number of scions of nobility; and as the total -number of peasants exceeds the total numbers of the others, the whole -quantity of natural capacity must be greater. Whatever, indeed, may be -their differences after they grow up, and when all the varieties of -advantage, opportunity, and habit have come into play, it cannot be -denied that there is a point in the age of all classes of society at -which their talents and capacities are in the precise ratio of their -numbers; and it is equally true that, if they were all taken at this -point, and subjected to the same discipline, the number of illustrious -men that would be obtained from each class would also be in the precise -ratio of the total number. But all classes in Scotland have, from -infancy up to a certain period, the same facilities of being educated, -and therefore, in obtaining a supply of learned and literary men, -Scotland has the choice of the whole population. - -But this is not the only advantage that results from throwing the gates -of knowledge open to all the people, for those of the poorer classes -who are sent to college have a chance of possessing greater natural -abilities, and being more assiduous and successful in the cultivation -of them, than those who are sent from the rich. - -This may, at first sight, appear to be paradoxical, but its truth -will become apparent upon very little reflection. The more seductive -pleasures of youth to which the rich have access, are, independently of -any other cause, sufficient to turn the scale in favour of the poor. -To the rich, the hours spent in the prosecution of knowledge are hours -taken from the enjoyment of pleasure, and as such they must ever be -looked upon as a task and a drudgery. To the poor, on the other hand, -the hours spent in the prosecution of knowledge are an abridgment -of labour more irksome and severe, and therefore they must ever be -regarded as relaxation and pleasure. Besides, the children of the -rich are sent to college, not so much with a view to the perfection -of education in the meantime, and the profitable application of it -afterwards, as because it is the custom, or that their parents and -guardians can afford the expense. The pupil who is born to wealth or -to honours, considers his literary attainments not only as a merely -subordinate accomplishment, but as one which stands in the way of -others that he deems more consistent with his rank, and feels to be -more consonant with his desires; while he to whom the same pursuit -is present pleasure, and the hoped foundation of future honour and -emolument, is certain not only to like it better, but to pursue it -with more zeal and success. Of the illustrious names that have been -famed in the pages of Scotch biography, a far greater proportion have -sprung from humble life than are to be found in the annals of any -other country. The fact is, that although the Scotch peasants have a -strong desire to educate all their children, it is only the ones who -are believed or found to possess a superior degree of genius that are -educated for literature; and of the discoveries of original genius -that are continually making in the provincial parts of Scotland a very -curious book might be made. I shall mention one instance of the many: - -The gentleman, who at this moment takes the highest station among the -philosophers of the Athens, and who would have been entitled to no mean -place even when her philosophy was in the zenith of its splendour, is -of humble though highly respectable extraction. His father rented a -small farm in the kingdom of Fife, and had it not been that accident -revealed the genius of the infant philosopher, first to the village -parson, next through his advice to learned professors of St. Andrew’s, -and, lastly, through the wisdom of that advice, to the world at -large, his experiments might have been confined to composts for the -fields, instead of compositions for the furtherance of science; and -his speculations, instead of grasping the globes of the earth and the -heavens, might never have soared above a globe-turnip. That the loss -that science would thus have sustained would have been great, even -the enemies of the philosopher (and there is no philosopher without -enemies, especially in the Athens) must allow; for the lines of his -discovery have not only been boldly drawn, but have been drawn in -situations which no other philosopher has attempted. If, therefore, -the discovery which I am about to relate, singular as those who are -not conversant with the modes in which genius, when left to itself, -developes itself, may consider it to be, had not been made, a blank -page would have remained in the book of knowledge, which is now full -and fair in its characters of wisdom. The future philosopher, as was -once the case with nearly all the nascent philosophers of Scotland, and -may still be the case with a few, not the worst of them, divided the -year between the study of learning, and the observation of nature. When -winter had spoiled the fields of their beauty, and driven the shepherds -and cow-herds into the villages, he went to school, where the Proverbs -of Solomon, Ruddiman’s Rudiments of the Latin Tongue, and Dilworth’s -Arithmetic, by turns expanded his wisdom, or perplexed his ingenuity; -and when the fields were again in flower and the birds in song, he was -sent forth to observe the progress of vegetable and animal life, notice -the revolutions of suns, and feel the practical philosophy of wind and -rain. In order that there might be economy as well as information in -his employment during the latter season, he was enjoined to attend to -the movements of his father’s cows, as well as to those of nature; and -until he had reached nearly the end of his twelfth year, it remained -doubtful whether cattle or causation was to be the future business and -glory of his life. In the summer of that year, however, the die was -cast, and never was turning-up more philosophically fortunate, or more -fortunate for philosophy. In one of those village libraries, which -often contained more rich variety of lore than is to be found among -the countless volumes of even an Athenian repository of books, he had -found a thumbed and boardless copy of Simpson’s Euclid, which might -in its time have perplexed the wits of ten successive classes at St. -Andrew’s. By that strong intuition which ever characterizes superior -genius, even at its earliest dawn, he found out that this was a volume -worthy of being read, and throwing aside the Shorter Catechism of the -Kirk, which had been furnished him by his parents for his recreation, -as well as the exploits of George Buchannan, the History of Buckhaven, -the exquisite biography of Paddy from Cork, and the sweet songs of -Sir James the Rose, and the Laird of Coull’s Ghost, with which he had -contrived to furnish himself, he set fondly and furiously to work -upon Simpson’s Euclid, preparing his floor, and drawing his diagrams -in the same manner, though not exactly in the same materials, as the -philosophers of antiquity. The smooth grassy sod answered all the -purposes of the abacus, and the cows generously supplied him in a -substitute for the sand. Spreading and smoothing that substitute with -his bare foot, he engraved upon it with his finger the mystic lines and -letters; and, with book in hand, proceeded to establish the elementary -principles of geometry, heedless though the cows should, in the mean -time, scale the fence, and carry the neighbouring corn by a _coupe de -la bouche_. - -One day as he was occupied in this learned work, the parson of the -village happened to be on the other side of the hedge, pacing backwards -and forwards, and cudgelling his reluctant and retentive brains for -as much of the raw material of sermonizing as would serve to put him -and his parishioners over the ensuing Sunday. While he paced and -pleaded with the sluggish spirit, his ear was assailed by a continued -_mumbling_ of voice through the hedge, which caught so much stronger -a hold of him than he could do of his sermon, that his steps and -his study were both brought to a dead stand, and his outward ears -perked up in the fondest attitude of listening. Ministers as well as -men often remember the words of that of which they were never able -to grapple with the meaning; and thus, though the old parson did not -exactly comprehend the extent of that proposition, the diagram of -which the young philosopher had traced upon his soft abacus, and the -demonstration of which he was rehearsing in very solemn tones, yet -he remembered that such words had been used by one of the professors -in that part of his academic course which he had never understood. -That which is known is always simple, and that which is not known, -however simple it may be in itself, is always accounted the very depth -of wisdom. The parson was astonished, and, for a moment, he doubted -the evidence of those ears upon which he had had to depend through a -long life. He tried the one, it caught, “The angles at the base of an -isosceles triangle;” he tried the other, it continued the enunciation, -“are equal to one another.” He poked his head half way through the -hedge, and the auxiliary testimony of his eyes and spectacles confirmed -that of his ears. He saw the abacus, the book, and the student, and -forthwith descended to the village, big and puffing with the tale. A -visit from the parson at any other hour than that of dinner, is always -an ominous matter to some of the family of a Scotch peasant. If the -young folks be children they dread the catechism. If more advanced, -there are occasional terrors of that Scotch tread-mill, which is -trodden alone and in presence of the assembled congregation. The mother -of the philosopher had nothing to dread upon either of those grounds, -but still she felt all the glow of a woman’s curiosity, when the parson -approached her husband with so hasty steps and so important looks. - -“Well, Mr. Lascelles,” said the parson, “you must take care of Jock, -and that forthwith, for I am thinking that he is a _genus_.” - -“I am very sorry to hear it, Sir,” replied Mr. Lascelles, lifting his -bonnet, “but he is very young, and will get steadier as he grows up. -Has he been letting the cows eat your corn?” - -“The Lord forbid either the one thing or the other,” said the parson. -“He is a genus, a mathematical genus, and will be an honour to the -parish when we are both dead and gone.” - -The father now understood that the words which he had at first -considered as lamentation were laudatory; the fatted calf was killed, -the parson was feasted, the boy taken from the cows, and sent to -college; and the result is--a perfect Anak in philosophy.---- - -That the literary men of Scotland are drawn from the whole range of -the population is not only in favour of themselves; it is also highly -advantageous to the humbler classes of the people. In as far, indeed, -as merely literary men are concerned, the advantage to Scotland is by -no means great, because in Scotland they meet with but little reward -to stimulate their exertions. And hence they are obliged to scatter -themselves over the world. But still, the number that remain, and fill -the duties of parochial and other teachers throughout the country, are -superior, not in degree merely, but absolutely in kind, to the teachers -of youth, more especially youth of the poorer classes, in any other -part of the country. In England, for instance, when a man of general -information undertakes the office of teacher, he does it either with -the hope of making a fortune by teaching the children of the rich, or -as a matter of necessity, and as a dernier resort after having been -unfortunate in teaching the children of the poor. But one who is to -have any chance of succeeding in the communication of any thing else -than the mere mechanism of reading, writing, and casting accounts, -which after all does not deserve the name of education, must love his -profession for its own sake, and look upon the exercise of it as an -honour,--which, in one that instructs the children of the lower orders, -can never be the case, unless he himself has been educated as one of -those orders. It is quite natural, and it is also quite true, that the -education which is most beneficial for any one class of society, can -neither be imparted nor purchased by any other class. Charity schools -will never be held in much estimation by any one who has seen the -progress of those poor children for whose education their own parents -pay. There is something in the receiving of any kind of charity which -is humiliating and debasing; and to bestow a charitable education upon -the whole or the greater part of the labouring classes in the country, -would be the surest means not only of leaving them nearly uneducated, -but of destroying their virtue and diminishing their usefulness. - -It is to the absence of this humiliating mode of being instructed, -and the presence of one infinitely better and more rational, that the -grand peculiarity of the Athens, and remarkably of the provincial -parts of Scotland, is chiefly to be attributed. The smallness of -Scotch and even of Athenian society, the limited number even of the -labouring classes, who, except in Glasgow, and perhaps a place or -two more, are all intimately known, as well in their connexions as -in their individual characters, and perhaps also the low rate of -wages, and the fewer facilities to solitary dissipation, may no doubt -account for some portion of the intelligence and virtue of the humbler -Scotch. But still, in as far as those circumstances operate, they must -operate upon the higher classes as well as the lower; and, as the -higher classes in Scotland have no such superiority over the higher -classes in other countries, as the lower have over the lower, there -must be some special cause which operates in favour of the Scotch -peasantry. I have looked round for causes; I have found none except -those remarkable advantages in respect of teachers of education, -(unless, perhaps, it be that the sober and simple Kirk of Scotland -has a more wholesome influence upon the poor than a more showy and -aristocratical establishment can exert,) and I think I discovered that -those advantages are quite sufficient to account for the fact. - -If there were not something in education that made strongly and -peculiarly in favour of the Scotch peasantry, why should they be -decidedly before the peasantry of England, both in talent and -civilization, while not merely the upper ranks of the provincial -Scotch, but even the learned and official scribes (and pharisees) -of the Athens, are so markedly and so monstrously behind? This -circumstance, unaccustomed as kings may well be supposed to be to -rigorous philosophic observation, did not escape the notice of George -the Fourth. He expressed no unusual admiration at the polish of the -Scotch peers, the elegance of the Scotch ladies, the learning of the -Scotch professors and parsons, or the worshipful appearance of the -Scotch magistrates; but the Scotch people, the crowds who shouted his -welcome on his arrival, and who cheered him every time he appeared in -public, were a source of wonder and a theme for admiration,--and a -proof, against which there is no arguing, that if people receive the -education of gentlemen, their habits will correspond, however scanty -their earnings or scanty their abodes. - -In the Athens, this relative superiority of the humbler classes over -those whom chance, ancestry, or office has set up into the high places, -is not only more remarkable than in any other locality that I ever -visited, but the most remarkable, at least the most admirable feature -in the character of the Athens herself. - -I have said, and I dare themselves to deny it, that her men in office -are a trifling and a truckling race; I have said, and I dare themselves -to deny it, that a great mass of her scribes unite some of the worst -propensities of the Jew, with none of the best of the attorney; I have -said, and I dare them to deny it, that her schools of philosophy have -“fallen into the sear and yellow leaf,” and that her philosophical -societies pursue trifles from which even school-boys would turn with -disdain; and I have said, that her _gentry_ have neither the capacity -nor the means of encouraging the sciences, literature, and the fine -arts; but though I have said thus, and said it from personal--perhaps -painful, observation, I am bound to add, that in point of intellect, -and all matters considered in point of conduct, the populace of the -Athens are far superior to any with which I am acquainted. When I -visited the public libraries, the men whom I found borrowing the -classical and philosophical books wore aprons, while the occasional -lady or gentleman that I saw there, was satisfied with the romance of -the week, or the pamphlet of the day. - -This accumulation of intellect among the lower and labouring classes -is a delightful thing,--when contemplated as studying history or -philosophy, or sporting itself with the finest productions of genius. -In this calmness and tranquillity it puts one in mind of the blue -expanse of the interminable and unfathomable ocean; its immensity -makes you feel it sublime; its depth tints it with that transparent -green which the eye never wearies in contemplating,--but, when the -wind is up, when the billows heave their masses, dash their spray to -the heavens, and deafen the ends of the earth with their roar, the -ocean becomes a fearful and a formidable thing; and, when the winds -of oppression chafe it, so is a population so learned, and so linked -together, as the labouring classes of the Athens. - -In the great manufacturing or commercial towns of England, and even, -and perhaps to fully as great a degree, in the British metropolis, one -finds the labourers and operative mechanics, though strong enough at -their labour, and skilful enough at their craft, far down indeed in -the intellectual scale,--reduced from their want of emulation to seek -their relaxation and their pleasure in the indulgence of their merely -animal appetites, and forced, through the want of proper education at -the outset, and fit means of obtaining or extending it afterwards, to -spend their evenings in ale-houses, and rest their distinctions of -honour and superiority on brawls and fights. In Scotland generally, and -in the Athens in particular, it is very different. Almost the whole of -the working classes there have got such an education in their youth -as not only would qualify them for ultimately being masters in their -respective trades, but which gives them an insatiable thirst, not for -technical knowledge in their own professions merely, but for knowledge -in general. If one were to follow them home, after the hours of their -labour are over, one would not find them besotting themselves with -beer, and discussing the circumstances of a prize-fight, in clouds of -smoke over a dirty newspaper, which the reader has to spell as he gets -on. No doubt they have their carousals, and when they do drink, they -drink deeply; but it is not so much for the love of the dissipation, -as for some public or brotherly measure which brings them together. You -find one man laying aside his apron to consult Adam Smith, dispute with -Malthus, or re-judge the judges of the Edinburgh Review; another will -be found solving mathematical problems, or constructing architectural -plans; and all the less proficient will be found attending evening -classes, at which they are instructed by able teachers, and for -reasonable fees. - -Society is indeed, as it were, reversed in the Athens; the men of the -law give their evenings to Bacchus; those who are called philosophers, -give theirs to butterflies; the ladies associate for the purposes of -gossipping; and the gentlemen, with praise-worthy gallantry, assist the -ladies; while the artizans pursue literature, and study philosophy. -Thus, although there be more both of the one and the other in the -Athens, than one would at first sight suppose, the supposition is -excusable because they are not to be found where one would first and -most naturally seek for them. - -But if these habits make the labouring classes in the Athens more -intelligent and delightful as a people than the same classes are in -England, they render them as much more dangerous as a mob. It is true, -that any demagogue cannot lead them to any mischief for any cause that -he pleases, as is but too often the case with a less informed and -reflective population. But if they are not to be collected or set -on by every casual breath, it is not every casual breath that will -make them disperse, or make them desist from their purpose. They have -repeatedly--indeed upon every occasion where they have been aroused and -brought together, evinced an union and organization which, with arms -and perseverance, would have made them formidable to a large military -force; and they have kept their plans so secret, and executed their -purposes with so much promptitude and skill, that the whole of the -legal and local authorities, in the joint exercise of their wisdom and -their fears, have not been enabled to penetrate the one or prevent the -other. “The Porteus” mob is universally known; and a gentleman who was -an eye-witness gave me such an account of a minor one, both in its -object and in its mischief, that occurred upon the result of the late -Queen Caroline’s trial, as convinced me that their skill and their -spirit have not yet abated. - -The populace of the Athens, as well as of most other places, resolved -upon having a general illumination, when the result of that trial was -made known. I do not say this was right, neither do I say that it -was wrong; but it was the will and the wish of the people, and they -did it. The official part of the Athenians were of course against -the measure, on political grounds; and a very large proportion of -the superior classes disliked it, either because they had doubts of -its propriety, or because they disliked the expense and trouble. -Disturbances were apprehended, and the authorities took what they -were pleased to call “vigorous measures:” they gave plenary power to -Archy Campbell,--armed deacon Knox with a great bludgeon,--supported -the constabulary with staves,--hung bayonets and cartouch-boxes -across the shoulders of the writers clerks,--stuck swords behind the -sheriff and advocates-depute,--sent for the Lothian farmers and their -cart-horses,--collected the military detachments,--shotted the guns of -the Castle, and lighted the linstocks,--dined, and put in the internal -armour of divers bottles of wine a-stomach,--and then bolting as many -doors upon themselves as ever they could, sat down to wonder and wait -for the issue. After preparations so extensive in their nature, and -so profound in their organization, one would naturally have supposed -that not so much as a rebellious candle would have been lighted, or an -Athenian lamp broken. But this was by no means the case. - -My informant, who had just arrived from Glasgow, where a similar scene -had been performed on the preceding evening, with much credit to the -military, some little to the magistrates, and no positive disgrace to -the people, was induced, by the unusual radiance that he observed in -the street, to walk out and see what was the matter, or rather how the -matter was. He passed along Princes Street, which exhibited nearly the -same number of candles, and the same taste in transparent paintings -that are usual upon other grease-burning and gauze-daubing occasions; -but the street itself was unusually quiet, and free of people. As he -stood gazing at a window opposite the earthen mound, in the decoration -of which some painter had been peculiarly happy in absurdity, a -stranger took him by the arm, and requested him to go to the other -side of the street, as where he stood he was by no means safe. He -hesitated, alleging that he heard nothing. “But it is coming,” said the -stranger, “and the more silent it is the less safe.” They crossed the -street together; and my informant looking towards the other end of the -mound, observed that the lamps were extinguished one by one, and though -not a tongue was heard, there was a heavy and hurried tread as of a -dense crowd rapidly approaching. It came, filling the whole breadth, -and about half the length of the mound. In the front were borne two -transparencies, rendered barely visible by dull blue lights behind. -On each flank were treble lines of men, armed with stakes, which they -had torn from a paling; and the whole square, of which they formed two -sides, was as thick in its composition and as regular and rapid in -its march as the Macedonian phalanx. This thick phalanx moved along -some of the principal streets: when a voice in one key called out one -set of numbers, a shower of missiles instantly demolished every pane -in the windows; and when a voice in another key called out another -set of numbers, not a stone was thrown. This mass of people passed -along the streets, and performed its quantity of mischief with the -silence and rapidity of a destroying angel; and when it had wreaked a -double portion of violence upon the dwelling of the Lord Provost, it -melted away nobody knew how, where, or by what agency. Meanwhile, the -alarm had been given to the powers and protectors; but when they came -to read the riot act, and scatter the spoilers, there remained none -to hear, but shattered houses and frightened inmates, and nothing to -scatter, except fragments of glass. Fortunately, the mischief was not -very great; but the manner in which it was done was enough to show the -superior tactics, and consequently superior danger of an Athenian mob. - -It is not, however, the education of politicians, of professional -men, or of the populace, which constitutes that peculiar course of -discipline which deserves to be designated, as “the education of the -Athens.” That education is a training of the manners more than of -the mind,--an initiation into the practices of life, rather than the -principles of any art, or of any science. Most species of education -imply some sort of restraint; but the Athenian education is chiefly -taken up with removing the restraints that have been imposed in other -places, and by other systems; and the rapidity with which students make -proficiency in it is without parallel in any of the ordinary schools -or colleges. A mere boy shall come from the remotest glen or island -of Scotland, as timid as a hare, as modest as a maiden, and as honest -as a man of five feet in a mill-stone quarry; and yet, astonishing to -tell! three little months, sometimes three little weeks, of Athenian -tuition, shall make him a perfect adept in all the theory, and an -expert proficient in all the practice of the Athenian mysteries. No -where else, indeed, can young men be thus educated at so early an -age; and it is the boast of the Athens, that she frees the youth of -Scotland of more of their antiquated notions and narrow prejudices -than they could get rid of even in London itself. The number of young -men who resort annually to the Athens as students in the college, and -under the private lecturers in the different departments of medical -science--who, as I have said, are now in a great measure eclipsing and -supplanting the college professors, together with the still greater -number who throng to the offices of the men of law, form a separate and -unguardianed and unguarded society of youths, greater in proportion to -the whole population than is to be found in any other British city. -They meet with those of but a year’s longer standing, and these meet -those of but another year, and so on, till the total take in every -lesson-abhorring student, and every quill-driving clerk, to the amount -of some thousands,--all of them furnished with at least moderate means -of supporting themselves, and without the slightest check or control -as to how those means shall be expended. The studies of the law-clerks -are of an exceedingly dry description, and those of the other students -are not very different. The infant scribes are set loose at an early -hour in the evening, and as the professors in the Athens are said to -be far more strict in looking after their own fees than after the -attendance of the students, the whole of this mass of young persons -are left to govern themselves and each other for nearly the half of -every day in the week, and almost the whole of Saturday and Sunday. -Athenian apprentices to the law are seldom lodged in the families of -their masters; and it is a rare thing indeed for an Athenian student -to be boarded with his professor. Hence, both classes are allowed to -help each other in the formation of their habits, without any control -from the more experienced part of society. It is the interest of the -lodging-house-keepers, with whom the greater part of them reside, that -their juvenile frolics should not come to the ears of their relations; -and therefore each is allowed to indulge himself as he pleases, and the -only measure of indulgence is the purse. - -While this mode of life holds out facilities for indiscretions which -the greater activity and occupation of even a mercantile city prevent, -the great numbers take off the shame of individual transactions, and -give a fashion and eclât to what would no where else be tolerated. -Youths of no great advance in life have their nightly drinking-bouts, -and boys, in the first year of their studies or apprenticeships, have -their occasional carousals in ale-houses suited to the state of their -funds. As the greater number of young men in the Athens, setting -aside the working classes, whose conduct is very different, are of -this description, perhaps they stamp upon the whole place much of its -character; and, especially in the several professions connected with -the law, they in all probability stamp the greater part of it. - -The results are just what might be expected. There is no place that -I visited where both the manners and the morals of young persons -are so free; and, with a greater partiality for the bottle, and a -greater proneness to all its consequences, there is perhaps less moral -feeling, and a less clear perception either of intellectual or of moral -truth, among young men who have passed through the several stages of -an Athenian education, than among those who have had their novitiate -any where else. Too young for reflection, and too much exposed to -temptation for study, their minds become as desultory as their manners -are dissipated; and while yet they hardly know any thing, they are -prompt in their decision of every thing; and having once found that it -is easier, and gives more notoriety to decide without thinking, than to -think without deciding, they become as dogmatical in speech as they are -shallow in knowledge, and raw in experience. - -The force of ardent and inexperienced passions, just set loose from -paternal restraint, the force of every day’s example, the force of -ridicule, and frequently also the force of direct compulsion, all -conspire to drive every young man who goes to reside in the Athens -into these courses, and to keep him in them as long as he continues -to reside in the Athens; and be it for study or for business, the -novitiate is in ordinary cases sufficiently long to stamp the character -for life. Accordingly it has been remarked, that though young men who -profited by a regular course of Athenian study, be often very showy -and frequently very jovial as companions, they are not very pre-eminent -for sagacity as counsellors, or trust-worthiness as friends. Coming -from the provinces in all their greenness, without any principle, save -that prudence which their parents tried to inculcate, and getting rid -of that very speedily, they are left like blank-paper, upon which the -Athens may inscribe her peculiar characters. There they grow up, and -acquire the passions, and learn the vices of men, while they have the -intellect only of boys. - -Every part of the system tends to debauch their morals, and deaden -their intellectual perceptions, and there are some parts of it that -tend strongly to make them as impertinent as they are ill-informed. -With many of them, and more especially with those connected with the -law, public speaking, or rather public wrangling, such as they daily -hear before their Lordships, is regarded as the foremost and best of -all qualifications. Accordingly, they not only have little disputing -societies, at which the most profound and grave questions are discussed -and decided in the least grave and profound manner, but they also, -not sometimes, but very frequently, carry the same practices into -their carousing parties, whether in their own lodgings or at their -respective ale-houses. Thus they learn to make speeches, which, like -inflated bladders, are of a considerable size, and smooth withal on -the surface, but have neither solidity nor weight. Of those who are -thus educated, a considerable portion are scattered over the country, -and perhaps in this way the Athens draws both upon the virtue and the -intelligence of the age, in full for all that she gives in the way of -other education. Perhaps, indeed, setting aside the political taints -which have been noted as emanating from the Athens, it were just as -well for Scotland, and not a bit worse for England, that Athenian -education of all kinds were confined between the Loch of Duddingstone -and the Water of Leith. Of those again who are thus educated, and who -remain in the Athens, it may perhaps be said that they turn round and -inflict upon those who come after, full retribution for what those who -went before inflicted upon themselves; and that with all her boasted -elegance and taste, there is perhaps no city in which vice is more -generally or more obtrusively practised, than in this self-boasted -model of taste and purity. - -The effects of this system of education may be traced in the manners, -and especially in the conversation, of the Athenians, even when they -have, as one would suppose, risen above the standard and outlived the -vices of those juvenile associations. The jokes which are quoted as -being the indigenous crop of the Parliament-House habitually, and even -of the bench occasionally, have almost uniformly a latitude in them, -which would not be tolerated in similar places elsewhere; and perhaps -one of the most offensive collections that could be raked together, -would be a list of all the good things with which the Athenians -embellish their conversations, as having been said and done by the men -of whom they boast; but as such a collection would be relished no where -except in the Athens, and with Athenian disciples, it may, with great -propriety, be left as a chosen preserve, in which her own literati -may poach, when otherwise their stores become exhausted, as must -occasionally be the case even with them. - -A system of male education, such as I have attempted to describe, -must of course require a peculiar system for females; but as female -education is every where much more matter of fact than of philosophy, -it would be improper to go into any investigation or argument about -it. In speaking of such a subject, I might err: by remaining silent, I -cannot. - - - - -CHAPTER X. - -MANNERS AND RELIGION OF THE ATHENS. - - - “This present world six days they seek, - They seek the next for one day: - They run their scores up all the week, - And sponge them out on Sunday.” - -BEFORE you can at all characterize the manners of the Athenians, you -must have known them long and intimately, and even then it is difficult -to be correct. In most things they are so extremely changeful, if -not contradictory, that in half the time you would take to describe -them in one aspect, they pass into another; and they do so without -any cause which you can discover. At one time you would think them -all openness and heart, but in a moment they start away, and look -exceedingly cold, stiff, and repulsive. They are a hospitable people, -certainly, or rather perhaps it is more correct to say that they are -entertainment-giving people; but even in the most ostentatious and -prolonged of their hospitalities, you always have the impression that -they are acting a part--that there is more show than substance in -their courtesies. You feel that you are received with more parade -than welcome; and if the sederunt be continued, you find that there -is more hilarity than heart. They give you your dinner, and they -shun neither the quantity nor the praise of their liquor, but they -are not so much disposed to give you your share of the conversation, -of which themselves and their city form, not the unvarying, but the -inexhaustible subject; and, taking for granted that, in consequence -of its primary importance and celebrity, you, if you know any thing, -cannot fail to be acquainted with it even to the minutest particular, -they rattle away without ever giving you the least preparation, and if -you shew, or even hint ignorance of the shufflings of their politics, -the cases before their courts, or the tattle of their coteries, the -utmost contempt is expressed at you, and the most summary vengeance -taken for your daring to be ignorant of that which alone is worth -knowing. - -From the peculiar kind and manner of education which I have noticed, -the young men of the Athens are more impertinent and self-sufficient -than those of any other place that I have seen. They know not much, and -the little that they do know is far from being accurate; but they state -their opinions with a forwardness, and support even their ignorance and -their errors with a pertinacity at which you are quite astonished. -Perhaps it is this precocity in assertion which renders the Athenians -so querulous and dogmatical after they grow up. - -As the sums of money which can be afforded to be spent or squandered -away in the Athens are not great, there is not much deep playing or -costly dissipation in the city. But though the immorality of the Athens -costs less than that of a wealthier place, there is not proportionally -the less of it upon this account; and though the number of what may -be termed gentleman-like indiscretions be very limited, yet there is -perhaps no place of equal proportion which rivals the Athens in low -vice. Indeed, the vices of her people are almost all equally low, or -if there be any who strive to outdo their fellows, it is by a deeper -plunge in downright beastliness. - -Among the dashing bloods of the Athens, the squalor of a house is no -objection whatever. Scotch economy prompts them to get everything -cheap, and hence there are in the Athens sinks of vice, supported and -frequented by those who call themselves gentlemen, that would hardly be -tolerated, or even supposed, in the very lowest neighbourhood of any -other place. I have been told that nothing can be more shocking either -to morality or taste, than the midnight orgies of certain clubs of the -Athenian _esprits forts_; and among all ranks of the Athenians--I mean -among all the ranks of those who wear the dress and assume the name of -gentlemen,--the practice of drinking is both habitual and deep. - -The real state of taste and civilization in any place is perhaps better -known from the vices of the inhabitants, than from their virtues; -and if the Athens is to be judged by this standard, she has not much -of which she can boast, as the broad and vulgar debaucheries of her -people, not only occupy much more of their time, but engross much more -of their conversation, than is the case in the British metropolis. -There is a cause for every thing, and perhaps a reasonable part of -the cause of this may be found in that peculiarity of the Athenian -education which I noticed in a former chapter. The purity, the -ignorance, and the simplicity of the number of young men and boys who -are annually added to the mass of the Athens, the novelty of their -having all restraint taken off, and the example and encouragement -with which they naturally meet, dispose them to proceed to greater -lengths in dissipation than if their introduction were more gradual. -The limited nature of their finances, too, and the operation of -those lessons of thrift and parsimony, which no parents are fonder -of inculcating than the Scotch, lead them to cheapness rather than -elegance in their pleasures; and the debased and vulgar taste which -they thus acquire in their boyhood, clings to them after they are men, -and not only gives the tone to their vices, but in some measure also -to their whole character. Accordingly, in no place that I have visited -is there more license of conversation, more general freedom from all -manner of restraint, and a more total absence of scruples of any kind, -than among the scribes of the Athens. Still, to a certain extent, they -are pleasant companions; but they are so only to a certain extent. In -times not very remote, each of the pleaders before the Supreme Courts -in the Athens had his “whiskey-shop,” in which he met with clients -and solicitors, received fees, and fortified himself in the spirit, -for appearing before the “fifteen.” Nor were these grave personages -themselves prone to forget the lessons which they had learned during -their noviciate as students or clerks, and their probation as members -of the Faculty of Advocates. Whatever was or is the talents or the -connexions of those persons, they were, and among the specimens -that remain still are, democrats in their drink. It seems to be an -Athenian maxim, that the bottle raises or lowers all people to the same -level; and the Athenians still tell with a sort of pride, that when a -celebrated Judge, who flourished in the latter half of the eighteenth -century, had been missing for three days, and was wanted to aid in the -decision of a very important cause, he was at length found upon the -top of the steeple of St. Giles’, where he had been carousing and -playing at cards with two or three members of that illustrious and -accommodating fraternity, the _Caddies_. - -Nothing strikes a stranger more than the difference between the -business streets and business men of the Athens, and the corresponding -streets and men of London, or even of Glasgow. In Bond Street, Oxford -Street, or Ludgate Hill, all is bustle and activity,--you cannot -stand still, though you would; and within the shop, every one is -completely occupied. The Athenian streets, more especially the High -Street, present quite another spectacle. At every few yards you find -upon the pavement a knot of idlers, concealing their hands in the -pockets of their inexpressibles, and alternately settling the affairs -of the world, (that is, of the Athens,) and criticising any stranger -that passes. Every shop-door too is a sort of rostrum from which the -occasional vender of brimstone or blue bonnets, is often found vending -Athenian politics to customers of another description; while, almost -during the whole morning, bevies of slip-shod damsels stand giggling -together at the entrances of the closes, in which innumerable mops and -slop-pails are exposed, but not for sale. - -Ever since the days of Allan Ramsay, an Athenian bookseller has been -a sort of oracle; and, as the tribe have increased, their oracular -powers have become rich and varied. Constable, to whom, by the way, the -literary world is as much indebted as to any man living, and who is a -remarkable instance of success against the whole current of Athenian -prejudice and opposition, has indeed too much sense, as well as too -much business, for lounging and lecturing in a public shop; but even -Constable is obliged occasionally to submit to the contact of that -chaos of philosophic fragments, which, like the atoms of Epicurus, -reel and wrangle on the benches by his counter. Blackwood too has a -sort of den; but still, when there is nobody in it to gossip, you -find his hard face poking out at his shop-door, just as the tongue -of a church-bell pokes out at the mouth of that instrument of noise -and brass. Manners and Miller--one who is said to be the only genuine -species of the nightingale north of the Tweed, keeps a saloon for the -accommodation of the Edinburgh blue stockings, in which sins, and -sentiments, and silks, are, by turns, expatiated upon, in a style and -manner which are truly Athenian. Not far from the Tron Kirk, there is -perhaps the most wonderful of them all,--the Œdipus of all mysteries -and riddles, as touching law, and learning, and politics--to the -junior clerks who attend the parliament-house; the fag end of the -Athenian company of comedians, and of the satellites of opposition in -Athenian politics. Œdipus believes that the whole world rests upon his -shoulders; and, whether he be haranguing from behind his counter, or -trotting along the street, he is constantly hitching up his shoulders -as if he were alarmed lest that world should go off its poise. But to -see this little man in the zenith of his glory, you must see him in the -parliament-house, where he is regularly found, as soon as the clerks -have gone to the desk, and the players to the rehearsal, running about -with so much eagerness and appearance of wisdom, that, until he speaks, -you would mistake him for Jeffery, or rather for Henry Cockburn, to -whom he has one similitude--that of a naked poll. As he has previously -argued or decided every cause that can come before any of the courts, -he comes, not to profit by the wisdom of the more express organs of the -law, but to tell how far they deflect from the right, by swerving from -his institutes. - -Each bookseller has, not only his levee as well-attended as ever that -of Sir Richard Phillips in his glory was by ten-shilling-a-sheet -overpaid authors, but his evening party, in which he shines. Thus -Constable dines with deep-going politicians, Blackwood frequents -prayer-meetings, Manners and Miller whistle,--this one associates with -fiddlers, and that takes the unprotected females under the folds of -his calf-skin mantle. - -But, although each of the notable Athenians has his peculiar place and -way of holding forth, there is a regular intercourse among them all; -and accounts current of praise or censure are as regular and frequent -among the Athenians, as those of cash are among other people. Indeed, -if it were not for this curious banking system, it is very doubtful -whether the intellectual “patrimony or conquest” of any one Athenian -would be sufficient to set him up in business as a regular and everyday -subject of conversation. Thus, whenever you find an Athenian cutting -his first figure, no matter what sort of figure it is, in one part of -the city, you are sure to hear somebody making a great deal of noise -either for or against that figure in another part. - -But manners are, however, somewhat like the mind itself,--we can -observe their phenomena, and trace their effects; but, as they are in -themselves nothing more than the various states of an ever-changing -something which we can never exactly comprehend, no abstract -disquisition upon them, even as they are found in the Athens, would -bear to be read, although one should be at the trouble of writing it. -When we grapple with them in real flesh and blood, and can say that -this is Archy Campbell, or this his Majesty’s Advocate,--that this is -Mrs. Macspine, who studies the Differential Calculus,--or that Lady -Macfidget, who calculates differences, or makes them for other people’s -calculation,--then the gentle readers draw their chairs together, and -prepare for that most delectable of all entertainments,--the dissection -of an individual character; but when we treat of the disembodied -virtues or vices, we are allowed the sole and exclusive benefit of our -lucubrations. - -Still, it is impossible to overlook the rapidity with which all -sorts of things whisk about in the Athens, and how cleverly her -ladies and gentlemen creep into the nut-shells of science, or the -whispering-corners of scandal; or how dextrously they contrive to -make one thing answer many purposes. It is impossible that any -people, and more especially a people so ardent and so educated as -the Athenians, can be without a reasonable commodity of love; but -the talking apparatus is so sensitive to the slightest touch, and -vibrates so instantaneously over the whole city, that this commodity -cannot be brought into action in the ordinary way. Accordingly, the -various systems of philosophy which have from time to time warmed and -gladdened the Athenians, have been, in a great measure, a succession -of bows and quivers for the artillery of Cupid. Sometimes they were -awkward enough for this purpose; and the barbs and feathers of those -instruments of man’s mischief, sticking out at the ends of arguments -against revelation, or disquisitions upon cause and effect, had -rather a ludicrous appearance. When Smellie brought the philosophy of -beasts into vogue, matters mended a little; and youths and virgins -sauntered away into the fields for the pure and intellectual purposes -of investigating the origin and progress of lambs and linnets. The day -of the botanists was equally favourable for erotic purposes; and when -the researches of Doctor Hutton had made the fairy-rings upon Arthur’s -Seat matter of philosophy, thither winded the philosophic fair of the -Athens, under the soft beams of the chaste moon, just to see whether -they could catch a glimpse of the green elves, capering and dancing to -the tune of “Catherine Ogie,” as Scotch fairies had been known to do -from time immemorial. - -But the best system that ever came into general practice and belief, -has proved to be that of the skull-men,--a system which, though the -Athenians gainsayed it a little at the outset, they have subsequently -fallen deeper into than any other people upon the earth or moon; and -in a truly-bred Athenian company, you are sure to have your cranium -thumbed over by every lady and gentleman. This is an excellent -system, if there be truth in it; and indeed, whether there be truth -in it or not, it brings the papillæ of the fingers, whose very use is -the receiving of impressions, into contact as it were with the very -elements of the soul; and when the delicate fingers of a lady are -measuring the base and altitude of No. 1. in a gentleman’s neck, there -is every chance that the embers of the tender passion, if they have not -previously been charred to incineration, shall blaze or burn. - -Nor is this the only use to which the Athenians apply this philosophy. -They are so quick in their perception, that they instantly know the -strong and the weak points of your character, and they regulate -their proceedings accordingly. If, for instance, your indications of -combativeness be strongly developed, they are sure never to offer the -least insult; but if you be wanting in those indications, they make you -feel it. If your forehead shows wit, they are exceedingly humdrum and -metaphysical; but if the contrary, they treat you with quips and puns -without end. Knowing from the peculiar structure and exercise of their -own admiration, that people admire the most that in which they excel -the least, they make sure of shining by turning the conversation to -those subjects of which, judging from your organization, you have the -least. - -The religion of the Athenians is, perhaps, one of their greatest -peculiarities: they,--meaning the people of consideration, and not the -populace,--are the most religiously irreligious people that one can -imagine. A few years ago, when it was the fashion to be sceptical, -the very name of going to church stamped a man as belonging to the -veriest vulgar; but the kirk has again come into vogue, and it is -now just as much a mark of vulgarity not to go there, as it then was -to go. If, however, the value of their church-going were to be tried -by their conduct during the week, its moral advantages would not be -found great. But it answers many purposes: the official men find -their interest in being kirk-elders; ladies and gentlemen see each -other; and after so pious and praise-worthy a thing as church-going, -there can be little harm in an assignation, or an adjournment to a -tavern-dinner,--occurrences which are very frequent upon the evenings -of Athenian Sundays. When you have witnessed the deep and prolonged -potations of some Athenian worthy upon the Saturday night, when you -have heard the racy jokes and anecdotes with which he enlivened his -cups, and when you have marked how small store he set by the principles -as well as the practices of religion, you wonder at the calm face that -he puts on as he stands at the church-door, watching the pence and -sixpences that are thrown into the charity-plate. It is all a cloak, -however, and like other cloaks, the more cumbrous that it is, it is the -sooner cast off. One cause of its being put on at all, may be, that -the fashion of the higher classes going to church carries the lower -classes there also; and nobody can pass the receiving hoard, which is -watched by a provost or a judge, without contributing something to the -increase of voluntary charity; which being thus obtained from the poor, -prevents the necessity of levying so large contributions on the rich. -I have stated this reason, not only because it is both pleasurable and -profitable, but because, whatever it may be in its primary intention, -in its ultimate result it is good. Every thing which tends to place -the labouring classes, if but for a moment, or during the performance -of a single act, upon the same level with those who do not labour, is -highly advantageous to them; and thus, admitting that the Athenians go -to church as well to save their pockets as to compound for the doings -of the week, the said Athenians do, upon that account, deserve nothing -but praise. - -Leaving the church-going, and subsequent feasting and flirtation out -of the question, there is something peculiar in an Athenian Sabbath: -it seems as though useful labour and innocent amusements were the only -things that deserve to be suspended. The advocates are a privileged -class, and it is no scandal in them to drudge at their cases. As -little is there any harm whatever in oral discussion of any subject -imaginable; but if a maid-servant were to hum a tune, an advocate’s -wife to give a thump to the piano-forte, or a boarding-school miss -to peep into a new novel, the Athens would be in the utmost jeopardy -of sinking in the Forth, in which the sinner would have some chance -of being ducked. It must not, however, be supposed that among such a -people as the Athenians, the Sunday is a day of idleness. It is no -such thing; for with both men and women, it is the choice and chosen -day of the week, set apart to all manner of gossip and enjoyment; and -though it be not the fashion for the people to listen to the music of -instruments, or read profane books, yet the music of woman’s tongue is -soft and sweet, and the book of fate is opened. Whether the present -church-going propensity of the Athens shall continue, is a question -that it would be difficult to solve; but that the Athens will continue -to enjoy herself upon Sunday nights, may be received into the catalogue -of truths that are demonstrated. - - - - -CHAPTER XI. - -SUNDRY QUALITIES OF THE ATHENS, IN SUPPLEMENT. - - - “In Ethiopia there is a lizard, - Green on the grass, but golden on the sand, - Of slender form and many-tinctured skin: - Of this, when you suppose that you have counted - The tints and glosses, straight the creature turns, - Or you but step aside, when lo, it seems - As new and strange as ever. What you noted - Is all errata, and your task of telling - Is never at an end.” - -THE wonderful agility with which the Athenians skip about from opinion -to opinion in other matters, and the great faculty which they show in -altering the attitude and aspect of that everlasting subject, their -own city, render it next to impossible to give a likeness of them that -shall be accurate for one moment beyond the time that you are taking -it. Indeed, if you be not all the readier at your pencil, the chance -is that there shall be no congruity or keeping among the features and -limbs that you sketch. What you begin with as a Jupiter, you have a -chance of ending with as a Vulcan; your Apollo glides into a satyr, -and your Venus becomes a hag under your hands. If you would paint a -philosopher, however limber or however large you design him, he changes -to a driveller or a dandy before you know what you are about; and -when you follow him to his home, in order to contemplate the progress -of those great things with which he is to enlighten and astonish the -world, you find the whole of his mighty mind occupied in fitting false -shoulders to his waistcoat, or dipping his whiskers in the essence of -Tyne, till the tale run down his cheeks in purple demonstration as he -flounders along in the ball-room. Under such circumstances, I ought not -to be blamed, although the light in which I have attempted to represent -the Athenians be not that in which they may have appeared to others; -nor ought they who fancy that their picture is more accurate than -mine, to allow themselves to fall into that idolatrous worship of the -Athenian gods; for they may rest assured that there can be more than -two pictures of the Athens, all very unlike each other, and yet all -very like the original. - -The _wit_ of the Athenians may be considered as one of their -“fundamental features,” for many reasons, and for this among the rest, -that it mainly consists of punning, which is accounted the lowest -stratum, and therefore the foundation of all wit whatsoever. It is of -various kinds and degrees, according to the class of persons among whom -it passes current; but still the basis of every Athenian witticism is -a pun, and every Athenian, though he should be nothing else, is sure -to be a punster. There are two original species of Athenian pun,--the -legal and the learned: the first is said to have been introduced -by the late Henry Erskine, and the second is contested by the late -Professor Hill, Dr. Brewster, and others. Whether this be true at all, -and if true, how far the truth of it extends, I am not either bound -or prepared to say, but certain it is that those learned and humorous -persons get more of it laid at their door than do any others now in -existence; and the “gentleman of the Dunciad” who was “determined -that every good thing should be Shakspeare’s,” has many praise-worthy -imitators in the Gem of the North. You cannot meet with an idle draper -yawning at the door of a shop, who has not some good thing of Harry -Erskine to tell you; nor is there a student within the Athenian college -who has not John Hill by rote. Brewster, indeed, is not so often -quoted; but Brewster is still alive, and what is more, he holds no -public function or situation of any great consequence. - -I went to view the Advocates’ Library, in company with two of that -faculty; and they edified me with sundry choice sayings of the immortal -Harry. I remarked, that it was singular that the advocates, the most -illustrious body within the Scotch seas, should have been the last to -have a hall in which to contain their collection of books. “The same -remark was made,” said my conductor, “to the late Honourable Henry -Erskine, and he said a very clever thing upon the subject.” I very -naturally gave him that wishing and inquiring look, which brings out -a good thing without any preamble; and he, after working a-while at -his ears, hemming, and rubbing his spectacles, said, “Why, Sir, I must -condescend, _in limine_, that the Dean of Faculty, (Mr. Erskine was -once Dean, and the title continues longer than the office,) was a great -wit, and that ‘a mortification,’ according to our vocabulary, means a -bequest of money or property of any kind; and, having given in this -condescendence, I will proceed to the argument of the case. Well, Sir, -a gentleman was remarking to the Dean, the shame that it was to the -faculty, that they had not a better apartment for their library. ‘We -shall get it some time, and get it in a Christian way,’ said the Dean, -with that happy look which always indicated that there was something -to come. ‘Why in a Christian way?’ said the gentleman. ‘Because,’ said -the Dean, ‘we shall get it through the _mortification of our members_,’ -at which the gentleman laughed very heartily.” I, of course, had no -choice but to laugh also, although the wit ran a little too slow for -me; but my laugh was taken with more cordiality than I had grace to -give it with, and that was a signal for more of the same kind, of which -I may mention a specimen or two. A case was argued one day before Lord -Braxfield, in which the counsel had rather exposed a position which -that hasty judge had laid down a few days previous; and his lordship -was so much irritated, that he snatched up a ruler, and brandished it -at the counsel, as much as to say, “if I had you out of court, I would -cudgel you.” “What does he mean by that?” said an English barrister -who happened to be present. “He is doing that which you must have -done often,” said Erskine, “he is _taking a rule to show cause_.” -“Why that is rather a novel rule to take in a court of justice,” said -the Englishman. “Not at all,” replied Erskine, “it is merely a rule -_nisi_.” One of the latest of Erskine’s witticisms that were repeated -to me was that of the two Macnabs, father and son,--the first of whom -was chief of that sept of the Celts, and the other the author of a -system of the universe, too sublime even for Athenian comprehension. -The chief was the most patriarchal as well as the most powerful man of -his day, and the number of his sons and daughters rivalled that of some -of the illustrious patriarchs of olden time. Harry Erskine said, that -“these two Macnabs were the two greatest men that ever had lived, for -the one could make a world, and the other could people it.” Another -saying of his was very often repeated to me, but I confess I never -could see the point of it. A Tory lawyer, of feeble body and feebler -mind, was elevated to the bench, and the Athenians supposed that a -Whig, remarkable alike for his talents and the slowness of his motions, -had been improperly overlooked, while the little Tory was promoted. It -was remarked to Erskine, that they “had put the cart before the horse.” -“No,” said Harry, “they have not done that, they have only put the -ass before the elephant.” Another time, when a client was hesitating -into which of the hands of two writers to the signet he should throw -himself, somebody said, he was like the ass between the two bundles -of hay. “No,” said Erskine, “he is like the bundle of hay between the -two asses; for, whichever way he goes, he will be eaten up.” This -species of pun is mostly confined to Whigs, or gentlemen who have some -pretensions to literature or taste; and in as far as intellectuality -can be predicated of such matters, it may be called the _pun -intellectual_. From Harry Erskine, the intellectual pun of the Athenian -barristers does not appear to have descended full and entire to any -one individual. A small piece fell to the share of George Cranstoun; -but he is too independent for using it, and therefore he is said to -have laid it out at interest for the benefit of the next generation. -John Archibald Murray got a slice, but it was from the side upon which -the article had lain for some time, and thus it is said to be somewhat -musty. Jeffrey got a choice cut, but he is said to have carried it so -long in his breeches-pocket, among slips of the Review, that it is as -hard as granite. Cockburn got a large piece out of the very middle, but -he is reported as having stuck it over so thickly with sugar-plums, -that the original owner would have great difficulty in knowing it. The -kissing-crust, and a dainty crust it is, fell to the share of John -Clerk, but John is said to have soaked it so much in butter, that -delicate stomachs are unable to bear it. After such a distribution, it -seems exceedingly doubtful whether the whole can be again reunited; and -while one laments the cutting up of the thing itself, one is amused -at the more slender Whiglings, who run about showing, boasting, and -smacking the waste-paper in which it was originally wrapped up. - -There is another species of legal pun, which first came to maturity -under M’Queen, of Braxfield. This may be styled the pun _ad hominem_, -and is calculated to depress the spirits in the same ratio as the other -is calculated to raise them. While I was in the Athens it was by no -means common in the Parliament-House, but I was told that it forms a -standard dish at all loyal and official feasts, and that upon ordinary -occasions it lies in Blackwood’s shop for the inspection of the curious. - -The learned pun is of several kinds, according to the class by whom it -is used. That which was brought to perfection by Professor Hill was a -sort of polyglot. For instance, in order to indicate learning, and wit, -and tea, the Professor inscribed his tea-chest with the word “_doces_,” -and when upon a cold winter day, one of his students kept bawling -“_claude ostium_;” so loud as to give annoyance, the Professor turned -upon him with “_claude os tuum_,” which gained him more admiration with -the Athenians than if he had rivalled Porson himself. - -None of those kinds of punning are, however, to be regarded as purely -Athenian. They were all invented or improved by strangers; and if -one wishes to become acquainted with the genuine Athenian pun in -all its simplicity, one must seek it at those coteries of small -philosophers and blue-stockings, which are found at Athenian suppers, -more especially on Sunday evenings, for it is by much too delicate and -weakly a thing for lasting even till the day following. - -The whole sports and amusements that are peculiar and congenial to -the Athenians seem to be regulated by a kind of Salique Law. They -being such as females can neither join in nor, in most instances, -witness. They are of two kinds: the amusements of the tavern, and the -amusements of the turf. In the former, “high jinks,” and the other -harmless fooleries of the olden time, have given place to the orgies -of hell-fire clubs, and others that are better undescribed; but in -the latter, “golf” and “curling” continue to divide the year, and the -wisdom of the Athens may be seen during the summer exercising itself -daily in urging the ball upon Bruntsfield-Links, and during the winter -in hurling large stones along the ice upon the Loch of Duddingstone. -Although there be many good places for walking in the vicinity of the -Athens, no such thing is known as a public promenade--that is forbidden -on Sunday, and, except a trot along Princes Street, and a moon-light -turn around the Calton, the gentlemen of the Athens are too busy, -either in doing something, or in doing nothing, for promenading during -the week. Drive there is none, and it is not much to be regretted, for -there is absolutely nothing to be driven. - -Another small feature in the character of the Athenians is the high -and supercilious disdain with which they affect to look down, not -merely upon their fellow-Scotchmen, but upon all the world. How they -originally came by this quality, it would not be easy to determine, and -therefore it is, perhaps, needless to inquire; but, as it is permanent -and general, it must have something upon which it permanently feeds. -It is by no means peculiar to those who are born in the Athens; for no -sooner does a Lowland clown take up his locality there as a writer’s -clerk, than he begins to toss up his head at the land which produced -and fed him, and “writes himself _armigero_; in any bill, warrant, -quittance, or obligation, _armigero_.” And no sooner does a tattered -and trowserless _Rorie_ escape from the wilds of Sutherland, or the -woods of Rannoch, to lug half an Athenian fair one from tea-party to -tea-party, than “she is a shentlemans, and teuks her whisky wi’ a ‘Cot -tam’ like a loört;” and, in fact, it seems a contest between those -two sets of worthies, which shall take the lead in Athenian dandyism. -Indeed, in personal grace at least, the “shentlemans” must be allowed -to have much the better of the “armigero.” Light food and long -journeys give to the former great buoyancy of spirits, and elasticity -of muscle; and it is wonderful to notice, with what a dignified and -chieftain-like air, they thumb a pitch-black pack of cards, or “teuk -oot the linin’” of a quart pot of small beer, or quartern of the dew of -the mountains, as they hold their morning levee at a corner in Queen -Street or Abercrombie Place. The “armigero,” on the other hand, is as -gawky-looking an article as it is possible to meet with, or even to -conceive. His feet, which probably not six weeks previous were dragging -a stone weight of shoes and mud, through the clay of Gowrie, or the -tough loam of Lothian or Fife, are squeezed into a pair of boots, upon -which they are taking vengeance, by stretching the leg an inch and a -half over every side of the heel; his great red hands, put you more in -mind of lobsters than of any thing human, and they are dangling from -his shoulders as if each articulation were strung with wire; and when -his deep and dismal Doric is drawled out into what is reckoned the -fashionable accent in the Athens, you can liken it to nothing but a -duet composed of the love songs of Jack Ass and Tom Cat. In consequence -of the number of those two classes of Athenian dandies, dandyism of a -higher order is banished. I mentioned formerly that there is no such -thing either as a drive or an article driven (quills always excepted,) -anywhere about the Athens; and therefore no fashionable gentlemen -could endure the association of the Athenian pavé. If such men should -by accident get there, he would not be eclipsed, but he would be -absolutely buried under the thick mass of the turf of the mountains, -and the clods of the valleys. - -Perhaps it is this total absence of every thing elegant in the shape of -man from the public streets and walks of the Athens, that has given so -singular a twist to the minds and manners of the Athenian fair. Those -dandies, instead of being objects for admiration, are subjects for -criticism; and when an Athenian belle first quits her bread and butter, -and flits forth to conquer the world--heedless of the fact, that such -was the condition of a dear papa ere he _booed_ himself into some -government office, “processed” (I do not use that word in the Yankee -meaning,) into the management of some laird’s estate, or the estate -itself--she curls up her nose at these, the only “creatures” that she -meets, with so much force as to give it, as Dr. Barclay would say, “a -sidereal aspect” for life. For a long time she holds fast her aversion; -but though her nose be elevated, her fortunes do not rise along with -it. Time drives the wheels of his curricle across her countenance, -and there is no filling up the ruts which they leave. Meanwhile the -despised clerks become wigged advocates, or wily solicitors; and the -lady stretches her neck over her six-pair-of-stairs window, to catch a -glance of the bustling man of business whom she despised and contemned -when he was a Princes-street walking boy, and would have accounted her -society and countenance the very choicest thing in the world. Time, -who is the most delightful of all visitors during the early stage -of his acquaintance, gradually introduces his friends; and at last, -old hobbling Despair is admitted into his coterie. In some places, -the ladies to whom he has been introduced seek their quietus at the -card-table; in others, they abandon this world for the next, and very -frequently choose the by-paths to heaven--because a way thronged with -dissenting ministers is always a sort of love-lane, in which a lady may -at least gather the dry stalks of those flowers which she neglected -to pull while they were in season. But in the Athens they go another -way to work,--they dip their stockings in heaven’s azure, pass through -the hoops of small philosophy to the heaven-ward attic, (from which, -perchance, the Athens takes its name,) and thence launch the bolts of -their criticism against all the world below--that is, all the world of -their own sex, and below their own age. - -Thus have I with, as an Athenian _Literatus_ would say, “the softest -feather dipt in mildest ink” and with uniform watchfulness against -unmerited praise and undeserved censure, noted down a few of those -features and traits which stamp upon the Modern Athens, the isolation -and individuality of her character, as she stands away from other -cities, and appears in herself. Had I followed her own _modus -operandi_,--had I torn in pieces the private characters of all to -whom I found it necessary to advert for the purposes of illustration, -and sported with the mangled fragments in the open streets,--had I -dug into their family vaults, and wantonly exposed the bones of their -ancestors to the gaze of every passer by,--and had I set the signet of -my approbation or disapprobation upon them, not on account of what they -were in themselves, but of whence they sprung, what they possessed, and -how they were connected,--then, assuredly, the spirit of my writing -would have been more in accordance with the Athenian spirit, and I -would have been loved, lauded, and adopted as a worthy and hopeful son -of the aspiring attic of the _Græcia mendax_. But such honour is not my -ambition; and therefore my study has been to describe things with all -the simplicity of truth, and, as in whatever bearing the semblance of -censure I have written, I have wished and attempted to be corrective -rather than caustic--to go to the causes of evil rather than to play -with the symptoms of it, I must conclude, that if any shall blame me -for the freedom of my words, they must do it because their hearts are -smitten, and not because their deeds are misrepresented. The Athens -boasts of herself as a model of elegance and of taste: I found her a -compound of squalour and of vulgarity. She boasts of her philosophy: I -found it pursuing thistle-down over the wilderness. She boasts of her -literary spirit: I found her literature a mere disjointed skeleton, or -rather the cast-skin of a toothless serpent. She boasts of her public -spirit: I found almost every man pursuing his own petty interests, by -the most sinister and contemptible means; and, perchance, the most -noisy of her patriots standing open-mouthed, if so that the very -smallest fragment of place or pension might drop into them. She boasts -of the encouragements that she has given to genius: I looked into the -record, and I found that every man of genius who had depended upon her -patronage, had been debauched and starved. She boasts of the purity of -her manners: I found the one sex engaged in slander as a trade, and the -other in low sensuality as a profession. Under those findings--and they -required not to be sought--I had no alternative for my judgment. When -she redeems herself from them, and becomes in reality even something -like what she would call herself in name, let her then make comparisons -with the Gem of ancient Greece. Let her give some proof that Minerva -Parthenon is her tutelar goddess; when she has done so, let her build -the temple to that divinity; and, as she finishes the sculpture of -the last metope, with deeds of her own worthy of being recorded, I -(as the Turk did when her countrymen completed the spoliation of the -ancient Athena,) shall to the completion of the merit which she claims, -subscribe - - - ΤΕΛΟΣ - - - LONDON: - Printed by WILLIAM CLOWES, - Northumberland-court. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Modern Athens, by Robert Mudie - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MODERN ATHENS *** - -***** This file should be named 51239-0.txt or 51239-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/2/3/51239/ - -Produced by Giovanni Fini, deaurider and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Modern Athens - A dissection and demonstration of men and things in the Scotch Capital. - -Author: Robert Mudie - -Release Date: February 17, 2016 [EBook #51239] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MODERN ATHENS *** - - - - -Produced by Giovanni Fini, deaurider and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - -</pre> - -<div class="limit"> - -<div class="chapter"> -<div class="transnote p4"> -<p class="pc large">TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:</p> -<p class="ptn">—Obvious print and punctuation errors were corrected.</p> -<p class="ptn">—The transcriber of this project created the book cover image -using the title page of the original book. -The image is placed in the public domain.</p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_i" id="Page_i">[i]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h1>THE<br /><span class="mid">MODERN ATHENS:</span></h1> - -<hr class="d1" /> - -<p class="pc4 large">A DISSECTION AND DEMONSTRATION<br />OF MEN AND THINGS</p> - -<p class="pc2">IN</p> - -<p class="pc2 elarge">THE SCOTCH CAPITAL.</p> - -<hr class="d2" /> - -<p class="pc large">BY A MODERN GREEK.</p> - -<p class="pc4 mid"><i>Ανδϱες Αϑηναῖοι, ϰατὰ ϖάντα ὡς δεισιδαιμονεστέϱους<br /> -ὑμᾶς ϑεωϱῶ.</i></p> - -<hr class="d1" /> - -<p class="pc large">LONDON:</p> -<p class="pc mid">PRINTED FOR KNIGHT AND LACEY,</p> -<p class="pc large">PATERNOSTER ROW.</p> -<hr class="d3" /> -<p class="pc">MDCCCXXV.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_ii" id="Page_ii">[ii]</a></span></p> - - -<p class="pc4 reduct">LONDON:<br /> -Printed by WILLIAM CLOWES,<br /> -Northumberland-court.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_iii" id="Page_iii">[iii]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CONTENTS.</h2> - -<hr class="d4" /> - -<table id="toc1" summary="cont1"> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER I.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">The Author and the King set out for the Athens—The -Author arrives—The Gathering—Corporation-men—Glasgow, -Aberdeen, Perth, Dundee, &c.—The People</td> - <td class="tdr1">page <a href="#Page_1">1.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER II.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">Athenian Preparations for Majesty—Official Men—Royal -Society—Plan by the Ultras—Migration of the Jews—Exercise -of the Athenian Fair—Sir Walter Scott—Storm -at Sea—Anxiety in the Athens—Royal Squadron -arrives—Fresh anxiety</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_19">19.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER III.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">The King lands—Grandeur of the Scenery—Joy of the People—Insult -to Leith—Illuminations—The Levee—The -Court—Disappointment of Official Men—The Athenian -Ladies—Royal Salutation—Dances—Pilgrimages—Dinners—Kirks—Vanity -of the Athens—National Monument—Dispersion—Farewell</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_41">41.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER IV.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">The Athens—Situation—Architecture—Environs—Self-idolatry—Widowed -State—Sundry Theories</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_149">149.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER V.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">Political State of Scotland—Counties—Burghs—The Athens—Criminal -Law—Lord Advocate—Athenian Tories—Whigs</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_167">167.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER VI.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_iv" id="Page_iv"><span class="reduct">[iv]</span></a></span></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">Athenian Lawyers—Their overwhelming Influence—Their - Habits and Characters—Solemnity of the Scotch Criminal - Courts</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_187">187.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER VII.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">Athenian Learning—Causes of its Decline—Professors—Philosophers—University—Patronage—Athenian -Parsons</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_206">206.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER VIII.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">Literature—Ramsay—Ferguson—Burns—The Edinburgh -Review—Blackwood’s Magazine—The Scot’s Magazine—Miserable -State of the Athenian Press—Causes</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_225">225.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER IX.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">Education—Scotch Education generally—Its Advantages—The -Athenian Populace—Athenian Education—Its -doubtful Qualities</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_258">258.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER X.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">Athenian Manners—Religion</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_290">290.</a></td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td colspan="2" class="tdc1">CHAPTER XI.</td> - </tr> - - <tr> - <td class="tdl1">Sundry Qualities in Supplement</td> - <td class="tdr1">p. <a href="#Page_305">305.</a></td> - </tr> - -</table> - -<hr class="d4" /> - -<p>Throughout the Volume, there will be found <i>attic</i> touches -of real character, in illustration of the general and local -truths.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p class="pc4 mid">THE</p> - -<p class="pc1 elarge">MODERN ATHENS.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER I.</h2> - -<p class="pc2">THE AUTHOR AND THE KING ARE INDUCED -TO VISIT THE MODERN ATHENS.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pc reduct">“Ego et Rex meus.”—<span class="smcap">Wolsey.</span></p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="beg">The</span> renown of the Scottish Metropolis,—that -city of wonders and of wisdom, of palaces and of -philosophy, of learned men and of lovely women, -had sounded so long and so loudly in their ears, -that toward the close of summer 1822, the Author -of these pages and the Sovereign of these realms, -were induced to pay it a visit, each in that state and -with that pomp and circumstance which was becoming -his station in the world. The one, in that unmarked -guise which is fitting for one who lives -more for the glory of others than of himself, and -who sets more value upon the single sentence which<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span> -preserves his memory when he is no more, than -upon all that he can possess or enjoy in this world. -The other, in that glow and grandeur, which gains -in intensity what it stands some chance of losing in -duration,—which is the grand idol of its day; -and which, when that day has closed, is gathered to -the sepulchre of its fathers, to make room for -another—and the same.</p> - -<p>The Author of these pages must not be blamed, -or deemed disloyal, for having given his own name -the precedence of that of his Sovereign. Every -man in reality prefers himself before all the sovereigns -in the world; and wherefore should not one -man state this preference in words? The courtier -declares that all his services are devoted to his -king,—but he devotes them no longer than that -king can afford to pay for them: the soldier swears -that he will die in defence of the crown,—but he -never dies till he is compelled by the superior -strength or skill of another. Even upon general -grounds, therefore, there is candour if not courtesy -in this order of precedence.</p> - -<p>But, when the specialities of the case are considered,—when -it is borne in mind that the monarch, -all-gracious and polite as he is, visited the -Athens, as well to dazzle the Athenians by his -grandeur, as to delight them by his bounty,—that -the native luminaries of that centre of many twinkling<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span> -lights were shorn of their beams by his overwhelming -radiance,—that this instance of kingly -condescension taught the ΔΕΜΟΣ of Athena to -regard as haply something less even than men, -those whom they had formerly looked upon as -possessing some of the attributes of divinity; and -when, on the other hand, it is taken into the account -that the author of these pages made his visit -solely with a view of seeing with his own eyes, -hearing with his own ears, and proclaiming with -his own lips, the truth of those reports which had -come to him through so many channels, and of -which the fruition had proved so much more delectable -than the foretaste: then, assuredly, ought -Athena herself, from all the castles of her strength, -the halls of her wisdom, the drawing-rooms of her -beauty, and the alleys of her retirement, to confess -that she owes to the author of these pages more -than kingly gratitude.—The King noticed but a -few of her people, enriched not many, and ennobled -almost none: those pages are intended to -enwrap the whole in one pure and perennial blaze of -glory.</p> - -<p>It was on the evening of the same day that -the Monarch took shipping at Greenwich amid the -shouts of assembled multitudes, and the Author -took his seat on the top of the Edinburgh mail, -amid piles of tailors’ boxes, each containing a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span> -courtier’s habit, in which some fond, and fawning, -and fortune-desiring son of Caledonia was to bend -the supple knee in the presence of Majesty, within -the ancient palace of the Holyrood. The voyages of -kings, and the velocity of mail-coaches, are already -known and appreciated; and thus there needs no -more to be said, than that here also the Author -had by several days the precedence of the King.</p> - -<p>The jolting of the wooden cases of my courtly -neighbours, together with forty-eight hours’ exposure -to drought by day and damp by night, -prepared me, in spite of all my burning anxiety to -see the far-famed city, for the enjoyment of several -hours of repose; and, as Athena was at this time -too much excited for permitting me to enjoy this -till towards morning, the sun had risen high before -I left my chamber.</p> - -<p>Upon hurrying into the street,—into that Princes’ -street, which, as I afterwards learned, is at certain -seasons of the year the favourite lounge of the -Athenian dandies, and at certain hours of the day -the favourite haunt of the Athenian fair, who -resort thither as the clock strikes four, to feast their -fair and anxious eyes upon the self-important forms -of dashing advocates, the more dapper and pursey -ones of pawkie writers to his Majesty’s signet, or -the attenuated striplings of the quill—the future -Clerks and Jefferys, who at that hour are returning<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span> -from the harvest of law and profits to such feast -as awaits them in ample hall or elevated cock-loft, -according to their talents, their connexions, or their -purses;—upon hurrying into that street, in the expectation -of feasting my eyes upon the natural and -architectural glories of the city, I found that those -glories were in the mean time veiled in the maddening -preparations of a whole people, who had -come from every portion of the main land, and -from the remotest isle of Thulè, to wonder at and -to admire that mightiest marvel of human nature—a -king.</p> - -<p>So novel and so varied were the costumes, so -unexpected and so singular were the features and -expressions, and so uncouth and Babylonish were -the voices, that the eye and the ear were confounded, -the judgment could not understand, and -the memory could preserve no record. Here you -might see some brawny and briefless barrister—the -younger son of a loyal family, with a pedigree at -least twice as long as its rental, with trowsers and -jacket <i>à la</i> Robin Hood, and huge blue bonnet -adorned with the St. Andrew’s cross and a turkey-cock’s -feather—looking for all the world like a -chimney-sweep’s Jack-o’-the-Green, or a calf -dressed entire and garnished with cabbage-leaves; -while close by him trotted a loyal toast-composing -crown-lawyer, with his hinder end cased in a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span> -phillibeg, a feathered bonnet, at least a third of -his own height, an iron-hilted sword somewhat -more than the whole, and a dirk that might have -served for a plough-share, puffing and blowing -under the weight of his own importance, and the -accoutrements of the Celtic society. In close -juxtaposition with these was a genuine <i>Glhuine -dhu</i>, plaided, plumed, and whiskered, and looking -as if all the kings of the earth were nothing to -that swaggering chieftain, of whose <i>tail</i> he formed -no inconsiderable portion. In another place you -could catch the broad face and broader bonnet -of a lowland farmer of the old school, cased in one -uniform garb of home-made blue, with brass -buckles to his shoes, a brass key suspended to -his watch by a tough thong of black leather, -greasy enough,—holding solemn colloquy with that -reverend member of the Scottish Kirk, to whom -he acted in the capacity of ruling elder, about -the danger of compromising the interests of the -Whig or <i>high-flying</i> part of that establishment, -during the <i>avatar</i> of so many Tories. The reverend -gentleman himself was no bad sight. His -general-assembly coat and et cetera’s were duly -kept at home,—that is to say, in his two-shillings-a-week -apartments, up seven pair of stairs, in College-street, -or haply in the house of that town acquaintance -with whom he had found cheaper board,—till<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span> -the eventful days should arrive. Thus he -was habited in his parson’s grey, the breast of -which, where it projected beyond the perpendicular, -bore testimony to the fall, both of broth -and of punch, while his inferior regions were shaded -and shielded by dark-olive velveteens, a little tarnished, -worsted hose furrowed as neatly as the turnip-division -of his glebe, and cow-skin shoes of the -most damp-defying power, which borrowed no -part of their lustre from Mr. Robert Warren. -Still the good man was clean in his linen; his chin -was shorn like a new-mowed field; his visage -beamed forth gratitude for “a competent portion -of the good things of this life;” and his plump -and ruddy hands slumbered with much orthodox -ease in the capacious pockets of the velveteens. -Anon, a highland laird, whose <i>tail</i> comprised only -his lady and half a dozen of daughters, and who -seemed to be meditating upon the roofless castle -and ill-stored larder, to which the expense of -parading full thirty-six feet of female charms before -the King would subject him, during the weary -moons of the Highland winter, hurried past, not at -all at his ease.</p> - -<p>But, to describe the individuals, strongly marked -as they were, would be altogether out of the question; -and, indeed, to give any thing like even a sketch of -the groups and classes and knots of men, women, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> -children, in all habits, of all ages, and in almost -every variety of shape, would bankrupt even a -German vocabulary, although in that language one -be allowed, for clearness sake, to lump a score of -sentences into a single epithet. The cry was still -“they come,” and Caledonia, from fertile plain and -far mountain,—from toiling city and tiresome wilderness,—from -rock, and glen, and river,—upon -the wings of the wind, urged on by steam, drawn in -coach, chaise, waggon, cart, and hurdle, riding -upon horses, mules, and donkeys, and running -upon feet, shod and unshod,—came scudding and -smoking, and creaking and crashing, and reeking -and panting, in one conglomerating cloud, and one -commingling din, to distract the attention from the -attic glories of Edinburgh, and for a time drown -her classic sounds in the discordant and untunable -din of all the provinces. Here you had the broad -shoulders and bold bearing of the borderer, delving -an elbow, of the size and substance of a sirloin -of beef, into the skinny ribs of an Aberdonian -professor of humanity, who all the time kept -squeaking like a sick fiddle, in response to the bellow -of the other, which reminded you of a bull -confined in the vaulted hall of an old castle. -There grinned the fat face of an East Lothian farmer, -between a Perth baillie on the one hand, and -a Stonehaven scribe on the other, like a ram’s tail<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> -between the blades of a shepherd’s sheers. And, -yonder gaped and wondered the great face of a -Glasgow negro-driver, like a Gorgon’s head—not -upon the shield of Minerva. Still there was something -interesting in the mighty and motley throng: -it put one in mind of Noah’s ark, which contained -“clean beasts, and beasts that are not clean, and -fowls, and every thing that creepeth upon the -earth.”</p> - -<p>The most delectable part of the gathering was the -combined clans and the burgh corporations. The -former belted like warriors and bellied like weasels, -and tricked out for the occasion in their respective -tartans of their names, each bearing a sprig of the -symbolic tree in his bonnet, a huge claymore in the -one hand, and a relay of brogues and stockings -in the other, with a great horn snuff-mull thrust -into his <i>sporran</i>—open and ready for action—hurried -along at the <i>pas de charge</i> to their headquarters -for the time-being, where they were instantly -dispersed into the crowd, thence to reassemble -when the bagpipe should frighten the last -shadow of night.</p> - -<p>The corporation-men came in less military but -more important guise. Glasgow, the queen of the -west, Aberdeen, the glory of the north, Dundee -and Perth, the rival empresses of the centre, with -Cupar-Fife, Crail, and a hundred others, each<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> -charged with a loyal and dutiful address, which -had been composed by the town-clerk, revised in -the spelling by the schoolmaster, and was to be -discharged at the King, in a manner so powerful -and point-blank, as to procure knighthood if not -earldom for such candle-selling provost, breeches-manufacturing -baillie, or other chief magistrate -“after his kind,” came on with a splendour and -an importance that Scotland never before witnessed.</p> - -<p>Glasgow, as became her purse and her pride, -came blazing like the western star—or rather like -a comet whose tail would have girdled half the -signs of the zodiac. The van was led by the magistrates, -in a coach which previously knew every -street and lane of the city, but which was relackered -for the occasion, had the city arms emblazoned upon -it as large as a pullicate handkerchief, and was -drawn by eight grey horses of the genuine Lanarkshire -breed,—the thunder of whose feet as they -dashed along shook the kirk of Shotts, and had -nearly laid Airdrie and Bathgate in ruins. The -clatter which they made along Princes’ Street was -astounding; the crowd collected in thousands at the -din; some cried it was the king himself; but the -final opinion was, that it was “naebody but the -magestrates o’ Glasgow.”</p> - -<p>In the train of this goodly leading, there followed -full fifty thousand,—or to speak by measure, as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> -number was quite out of the question, full forty-four -miles of merchants and makers of muslin; and -the vehicles which carried the car-borne part of -them were more strange and varied than ever appeared -at the triumph of a Roman emperor upon -his return from smiting the barbarous nations, and -carrying themselves and all their utensils captive. -Here you would see the equipage of a rich dealer -in turmeric or tobacco, fashionable enough except -in its contents; there you were presented with a -Glasgow <i>Noddy</i>, squeezing forward its lank form -like a tile, and dragged by a steed with three serviceable -legs, and one eye the worse for the wear; -in another place you would meet with a hearse, with -a tarpaulin over it to hide the death’s head and the -bones, and crammed full of the saints of the Salt-market -laid lengthways for the convenience of stowage; -while the rear was brought up by an enormous -tilted waggon, which, though it was at first -conjectured to contain Polito’s collection of wild -beasts, was, upon examination, found to be charged -very abundantly with that more important and polished -matter—the ladies and gentlemen of Paisley -and Greenock.</p> - -<p>The pride of the north had been more than -usually upon the <i>qui vive</i>. The Provost had been -attitudenizing before a great mirror for a week, and -getting his pronunciation translated into English by<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span> -Mr. Megget, of the Academy, for at least a fortnight; -the town-clerk had been drudging at “steps” in private -with Mr. Corbyn for a month, and the learned -Mr. Innes had been applied to, to cast the nativity -of the city; and, from the horoscope—Saturn in -conjunction with Mars, and Venus lady of the ascendant, -it was sagely inferred by the clubbed wisdoms -of King’s and Mareschal that the Provost “wad -get a gryte mickle purse o’ siller, for the gueed o’ the -ceety, forby a triffle to himsel’;” and that, if not -a duke, the town-clerk would be a <i>goose</i> at any -rate, if both eschewed during their sojourn that -hankering after the sex which was portended by the -lady Venus being in the middle house. Those -polite and philosophic preparations having been -made, the state coach, with two cats (the emblems -of <i>bon accord</i>) the size of a couple of yeanling -lambs, gilt with Dutch fulzie, and spotted with coffin -black, “all for the sparin’ o’ the cost,” rattled -along the bridge of Dee at the tail of six hardy -shelties from the Cabrach, “which could mak’ a -shift to live upo’ thristles, or fool strae, or ony thing -that they cou’d pyke up at a dykeside.” Still, however, -this mighty magisterial meteor streamed across -Drumthwackit, along the “how o’ the Mearns,” -and adoun Strathmore, like an aurora borealis flashing -from the pole to the zenith, flickering and crackling, -and smelling of brimstone. While its tail drew<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span> -the third part of the wilie natives of the city; -the other two-thirds took their way in barks and -steam-boats, because it was “cheaper by the tae -half.”</p> - -<p>But what words can describe the grand array of -the municipal authorities of Perth: Perth, the centre -and heart of Scotland—the capital of the Picts, -the delight of the Romans, who tumbled down in -ecstasy when they first beheld it from the summit -of Moncrief Hill, and, fancying that they saw in its -green <i>inches</i>, its sweeping river, and its ample size, -the Campagna, the Tiber, and the Eternal city, -shouted in one voice “Ecce Tiber! Ecce Campus -Martius!”—Perth, which looks upon Aberdeen as -dry stubble, and Glasgow as the dust of the earth; -and which has received within its halls and palaces -more kings and mighty men, than the compass of -these pages could hold, or the sages of its own Antiquarian -society could number.</p> - -<p>To pay due honour to the decorum, the sagacity, -and the harmony of such a city, it is worth -while to pause and learn a little, before speaking -of the equipage. Well, what, gentle reader, shall -we learn? Why that the same gentleman who sat -in that splendid equipage as chief ruler of the city, -put to the proof, as touching his Celtic or Sarmatian -origin, no less a personage than the Grand Duke -Nicholas, brother to the autocrat of all the Russias—the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> -arbiter for the time being of all the legitimate -monarchs upon the continent of Europe. The fame -of the city of Perth being, of course, well known -upon the banks of the Neva, and the Kremlin at -Moscow having been burnt as the first portion of -the funeral pile of Buonaparte, there was no place -where the magnanimous Alexander could find a fit -pattern after which to build the restored Kremlin, -except this fine and far-famed city of Perth. The -Grand Duke Nicholas, from his well-known architectural -and other tastes, was deputed upon this important -mission; and, having taken London, the -Athens, and a few such places of inferior note in -his way, he arrived at the city of all beauty; and -was received by a bowing magistracy, and a gaping -populace. During his stay at the George Inn, the -superiority of the Tay salmon and “Athol brose,” -over the <i>caviere</i> and <i>quass</i> of his own country, -worked the imperial clay to the temperature of a -very Vesuvius. He applied to the Lord Provost in -his need. The Lord Provost convened his council. -Their words were wise, and their faces were wiser; -but they could determine nothing; and so they -handed the case over to the ministers and elders of -the kirk. These shut their eyes and opened their -mouths; and having done so for a due season, they -found that as the Grand Duke Nicholas was not -in communion with their church, the Grand Duke<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> -Nicholas might, in all matters bodily or ghostly, -do as the said Grand Duke Nicholas felt inclined. -This response delighted the municipal authorities, -and they hurried to the inn to communicate with -their own lips this plenary indulgence. Provost -Robertson hemmed, stroked his beard, and led off -in words wherein the Saxon and the Celtic so perfectly -neutralized each other, that the whole was -as smooth as oil. But, though the Grand Duke -Nicholas understood many single languages, the -mouth even of a magistrate delivered of twins, was -as new to him as it was incomprehensible. It was -clear, from his lack-lustre eye, that he did not understand -one word of what was said; and he tried to -convey as much in Latin, French, German, Russ, -and no one knows how many other outlandish -tongues; but as the Grand Duke Nicholas could -not ascend to a double language, so neither could the -Provost of Perth descend to a single one; wherefore -the mighty mountaineer, who during the -Athenian display acted Perth, brushed up to him, -tumbling down half a dozen of splay-foot councillors -and ricketty deacons, and exclaiming, “Try her o’ -the Gaelic, my Lord Provost! try her o’ the -Gaelic!”</p> - -<p>A person of this calibre, and having buttoned -within his waistcoat the chief honour of a town of -this fame, could not choose but exhibit a corresponding<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> -exterior. Accordingly, the coach was the -size of a fly van; the horses would have done credit -to Whitbread’s heaviest dray; and, in very deed, -had a sportsman of the land of Cockaigne seen the -emblazoned arms, pop would have gone Joseph -Manton right and left at the displayed eagle of -silver-white, as at a goose of kindred obesity, and -fit for the Michaelmas board.</p> - -<p>Of those civic exhibiters, Dundee must close the -muster: Dundee, after these, was “filthy Dowlas.” -The wig of her chief magistrate, (which seemed -as though he had exchanged it with the Perth -coachman, as they had been taking a groats-worth -of swipes and thrippeny blue at Luckey Maccarracher’s -Hotel, down three flights of stairs, in -Shakspeare’s Square,) did not contain as much -sand-coloured hair as would have stuffed a pincushion; -and, as for the poll itself, not a barber in -Petticoat-lane would have shown it in his window. -Their equipage, which had once belonged to a -celebrated radical, was whitewashed for the occasion, -had two green salamanders marked upon it, as -lank as though they had fed upon smoke—as much -as to say that the lading within was proof against fire -and brimstone. Four experienced cattle, which -had been rescued or borrowed from the dogs’ meat-man, -dragged forward the heavy and heartless array; -and the brawling burghers took shipping at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> -their new harbour; but Æolus was adverse, and -so they who had hoped to see George the Fourth -saw Holland, got fuddled with Scheidam gin, -bought a cargo of flax, and returned, not much -the wiser—that had been impossible.</p> - -<p>This, and much more after the same fashion, -was enough and more than enough to distract the -attention from all the Athenses that ever were built -or blazoned in story. But this, and much more -like this, was not all: there was also much very -unlike it,—so unlike, that when you turned from -the one to the other, you felt as if seas had been -crossed; ay, as if the very poles of the earth had -been reversed, or as if you had passed from the -depth of folly to the height of wisdom in the twinkling -of an eye. There were the whole assembled -people of Scotland,—of that people who, girt with -no ill-suited authority, and tricked out with no -incongruous and tawdry pomp, had come in the -fullness of their hearts and the abundance of their -curiosity, to look upon their liege lord the King. -The magistrates in their coaches were senseless -pomp; the Highland chiefs with their tartans and -their tails, were a useless, and, in many instances -where they had commanded the small farmers to -leave their scanty crops to be scattered by the -winds or rotted by the rains, a cruel parade; -but the people,—the free and independent people<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> -who assembled of their own will, at their own -cost, and for their own pleasure, formed a solemnity -at which the eye could not fail to be -delighted, and over which the heart could not fail -to exult with the most ample and the most exquisite -joy. To the hundred thousand inhabitants of -Athens, there were added full twice as many strangers, -all in their best array; and yet, among the -whole there was nothing taking place at which -either law or delicacy could be offended. Religious -and political animosity had been laid aside, oppression -had been forgiven, and meanness forgotten; -the people seemed to compose but one family, and -they spoke as if animated with only one wish,—namely, -that the King should come: or if they had -another, it was that his coming might be speedy and -safe. Whatever other men may think of Edinburgh—of -Scotland, as a place to be visited, it is a -glorious place for being visited by a king; and, it -will be no proof of wisdom in the future monarchs -of Britain, if they allow the crown to pass to a -successor without paying it a visit. Kings reign -the more happily and the more secure, the more -freely and frequently that they show themselves to -their subjects.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER II.</h2> - -<p class="pch">THE MODERN ATHENS, HAVING ALREADY RECEIVED -THE AUTHOR, MAKES PREPARATIONS -FOR RECEIVING THE KING.</p> - -<hr class="d3" /> - -<p class="pp6q p1">“The young gudewife o’ Auchinblae,</p> -<p class="pp7">She was a cannie woman;</p> -<p class="pp6">She wiped her wi’ a wisp o’ strae,</p> -<p class="pp7">When her gudeman was comin.”—<span class="smcap">Old Ballad.</span></p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">The</span> movements of a people of so much gusto, -and grace, and gravity, as those who had interposed -their thickening clouds between my vision and -those municipal and mental glories which I had -come to see, could not choose but do every thing -according to the most approved canons of philosophy; -and thus the mighty matter of the royal -visitation had to be received in its beginning, its -middle, and its end, before I could proceed in my -legitimate and laudatory vocation. Besides the -people who came, there were the preparations made -and the deeds done,—each of which is well worthy -of a chapter.</p> - -<p>The rumour of the high honour came upon the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> -Athens like the light of the morning,—beaming -upon the most elevated points, while yet the general -mass remained in shadow. The Lord President -of the Court of Session, the Lord Provost of the -City of Edinburgh, the Lord Advocate, Lady -Macconochie, the very Reverend, and (by office -and intuition,) very learned Principal Baird, the -Sheriff of the County, Deacon Knox, of Radical-threshing -renown, Mr. Archibald Campbell, -and that fair dame who watches and wipes in Queen -Mary’s apartments at the Holyrood, were the first -upon whom the radiance broke; and, the summit -of Ben Nevis gilded by the morning sun, looks not -more proudly down upon the mists of Lochiel or -the melancholy waste of Rannoch, than each and -all of those high personages did upon the ungifted -sons and daughters of Edinburgh. They -were in a fidget of the first magnitude, as to what -was to be done, and who was to do it. Long and -deep were their deliberations; but, like the Areopagites -of the Elder Athens, themselves and their -deliberations were in the dark. Hence, as hope -is the grand resource in such cases, they deputed -the Lord President to seek aid from the Royal -Society of Edinburgh,—a society which, composed -of the wisest heads, and prosecuting the wisest subjects, -always says and does the very wisest things -in the very wisest manner.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span></p> - -<p>Fortunately the Society was sitting,—doing its -incubation, upon a refutation of Aristotle’s poetics -by Sir George M’Kenzie, of Coul, Bart., and a -proposal for lighting all the roads in Scotland with -putrid fish-heads, by Sir John Sinclair. The -Lord President opened his mouth and his case; -and each learned head nodded with the solemnity -of that of a Jupiter. The trumpet-call, blown -through the nose by a bandana handkerchief, summoned -to the charge the commodity of brains that -each possessed; and each having returned the bandana -to its place, looked as wise as the goddess of -the Elder Athens, or even as her sacred bird. -The general question propounded to them ran -thus,—“What was to be done, and by whom?” and -the deliverance of their wisdoms was, that “Every -thing ought to be done, and every body ought to -do it”—a response surpassing in profoundity any -thing ever uttered by the Pythoness herself. The -countenance of the dignified delegate was brought -parallel to the ceiling; his eyes and mouth had a -contest as to which could become the wider; and, -he Macadamized the question by breaking it into -smaller pieces: “What should they say to the -King; what should they give him to eat; and how -should they demean themselves?” It was resolved, -as touching the first, that they should say very -little, for fear of errors in propriety or in grammar;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> -but that they should put in motion the addressing-machinery, -of which official men in Scotland had so -often felt the benefit, and give, in “change for a -Sovereign” as it were, two hundred and forty of -those copper coins, for their own benefit, and that -of the royal closet. The second point was more -puzzling: A king would not care for sheep’s-head -or haggis, and as for French cookery, that would -be no rarity. Some lamented that the Airthrie -whale was petrified, and that Dr. Barclay’s elephant -was nothing but bones; and Sir John Sinclair -recommended three mermaids dressed entire,—of -which he assured them there were plenty on the -coast of Caithness. Upon this point there was a -difference of opinion; and they resolved to board -the King upon the enemy, by getting ten fat bucks -from that notorious Whig the Honourable W. -Maule, as his Grace of Montrose had only one to -spare. Upon the third point their decision was -equally summary and clear, “Every one was to do -the best that he could.”</p> - -<p>Those sage counsels having been given and -received, the loyalty of Athens was set fire to in a -number of places, and anon the whole city was in a -blaze. Lords of session, spies, men who had eaten -flesh and drank wine for the glory of the throne, -excisemen, crown-lawyers, holders and expectants -of crown-patronages, address-grinders, beaconeers,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span> -and all the interminable file of that which had supported -the loyalty and existence of Scotland in the -worst of times, shone forth with first and fiercest -lustre. In that great tattle-market (hereafter to be -described,) the Parliament-house, you would have -found the Tory barristers—the current of whose -loyalty is seldom much broken by briefs, clubbing -together, cackling as though they had been the -sole geese of salvation to the capitol, and stretching -their mandibles, and showing their feathers at the -more-employed and laborious Whigs, as a race -soon to be exterminated. The disposal of majesty -himself was committed to the Great Unknown, -who sagely counselled that they should make a still -greater unknown of the King, by mewing him up -in Dalkeith-house, where he could commune only -with a few of the chosen; and, that they should -bring him before the public only once or twice, to -be worshipped and wondered at, more as a favour -of <i>their</i> procuring, than of his own Royal pleasure. -How little they knew of his Majesty, and how -much they had overrated their own importance -occurred not to them at the time, but they found it -out afterwards.</p> - -<p>The next weighty question was what the city -should do in her municipal capacity; and, it was -ordered <i>in limine</i> that the nightly tattoo of “The -Flowers of Edinburgh,” which from time immemorial<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span> -had been played in the streets, should be -suspended during the solemnity, under pain of -escheat of the instruments, allenarly for the private -benefit and use of the Lord Provost and magistrates. -Every one who has seen Edinburgh must -know the perfect resemblance which her High-street—that -street in which magistracy is pre-eminently -dominant, and where shows are wont to be exhibited—bears -to the back-bone of a red-herring. -Westward you have the castle in form, in elevation, -and in grandeur, the very type of the head; eastward, -at the further extremity, you have the palace -of Holyrood, which from its lowly situation among -cesspools and bankrupts, and its usual gloomy and -forlorn condition, may very properly be likened to -the tail; the intermediate street is the spine; while -the wynds and closes which stretch to the North -Loch on the one side, and the Cow-gate on the -other, are the perfect counterpart of the ribs. This -High-street was cleared of some old incumbrances, -had exhibition-booths erected along its whole -extent; and it was expressly ordered that, as the -King passed along, no frippery or foul linen should -be exhibited from even the third garret windows; -and, that during the whole sojourn of royalty, -no man should enter the rendezvouses in the closes -by the street end, but come in by the back stairs; -<i>more clerici</i>, in the same fashion as during the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span> -sittings of the General Assembly. But, it would -be endless to notice all the sagacious orders and -prompt actings: suffice it to say, that every thing -which could be thought of was ordered, and every -thing ordered was done.</p> - -<p>The people of the Athens are, even upon ordinary -occasions, much more attentive to their dress -than to their address; and, therefore, it was to be -expected that they should be so upon so momentous -an occasion. Besides the tailors’ boxes of which -I had felt a specimen on my journey, there was -work for every pair of sheers and needle in the -city. Webs of tartan, wigs, pieces of muslin, -paste diamonds, ostrich feathers, combs as well for -use as for ornament, were driving over the whole -place like snow-flakes at Christmas. But, the -hurry and harvest were by no means confined to -the Caledonian shop-keepers. The rumour had -reached the purlieus of Leicester-square, and had -been heard in the fashionable repositories of Holywell. -The remnant of Jacob gathered themselves -together, resolving to come in for their share of the -milk and honey which was flowing in the new-made -Canaan of Scotland; while the daughters of Judah -put tires upon their heads, and thronged away -to spoil the Amorites northward of the Tweed. -It were impossible to describe the wares brought by -the sons of Jacob,—it were needless to tell of those<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span> -brought by the daughters of Israel. The plume -which had nodded upon the brows of fifty queens -at Old Drury, was refurbished to adorn some -proud and pedigreed dame of the north; swords of -most harmless beauty—having nothing of steel -about them but the hilts, were crossed most bewitchingly -in every thoroughfare, accompanied by -old opera-hats, bag-wigs, buttons, and every thing -which could give the outward man the guise and -bearing of a courtier. Before these elegant repositories -slender clerks and sallow misses might be -seen ogling for the live-long day, and departing in -sorrow at nightfall, because the small tinkle in their -pockets was unable to procure for them even one -morning or evening’s use of that garb, the fee -simple of which had cost Moses seven shillings and -sixpence, and the translation and transmission a -crown-piece. Moses indeed found that he had -something else than Ludgate-hill and Regent-street -to contend with; for, every ribbon-vending son of -the North had garnished his windows with trinkets -and ornaments which, in appearance, in quality, -and in price, would have done honour to Solomon -himself.</p> - -<p>But wherefore should I waste time on the ornaments -of individuals, when the garnishing of the -whole city was before my eyes,—when, from the -pier of Leith to the farthest extremity of Edinburgh,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> -every act of the coming drama stood rubric -and impressed upon men and women, and things. -The first, important enough upon all occasions, had -now put on looks of ten-fold wisdom and sagacity. -The second, all bewitching as they are in their -native loveliness, were subjecting their necks to the -process of bleaching by chlorine gas, laying their -locks in lavender, sleeping in “cream and frontlets,” -and applying all manner of salves and unctions to -the lip, in order to make it plump and seemly for -the high honour of royal salutation. I have no -evidence that any daughter of the North fed upon -the flesh of vipers in order to induce fairness in her -own, as little have I evidence that there was need -for such a regimen; I did hear, however, that the -lady of one baronet took up her lodgings for two -successive nights in a warm cow’s-hide, and that -she of a senator of the college of justice wrought -wonders upon her bust by a cataplasm of rump-steak, -but I cannot vouch for the facts, or set my -<i>probatum</i> to them as successful experiments in -kaleiosophy. So much for the first blush of preparation -with the men and women; I need not add, -that like the streams of Edina, it became rich as -it ran.</p> - -<p>The attitudes of things were a good deal more -diversified and puzzling; and, perhaps the shortest -way of getting rid of them would be to adopt the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> -laundress’ phrase, and say they were “got up;” -but this, though summary and in the main correct, -would neither be just nor satisfactory,—because, in -all modern stage displays, the actors would cut but -a sorry figure were it not for the scenery.</p> - -<p>As, however, the scenery arises out of the drama -itself, while the actors have an existence and character -off the boards, it will be necessary to premise -an outline of the plot. That was arranged into -the following acts, with as many interludes public -and private as could be crammed into the time and -space. The King was to land—to be received by -whoever should be accounted the greatest and most -loyal man in Scotland, which some said was Lord -President Hope, some Bailie Blackwood, some Sir -Walter Scott, others Sir Alexander Gordon, of -Culvennan, a few Principal Baird, and even Professor -Leslie had his own vote and another—he was -to shake hands with Bailie Macfie, of Leith, (with -his glove on as it were,) then he was to pass along -streets, through triumphal arches, over bridges, and -in at gates, to the ancient palace of the Holyrood, -where the old throne from Buckingham-House had -been darned and done up for his reception, by way -of reading him an introductory lecture upon Scotch -economy. Such was to be the first act of the -drama, and the preparations for it were peculiarly -splendid. The line of progress, which was both<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span> -long and broad, was to be thronged with people; -the devices and mottoes were to be got up, to let the -King know that an illumination was coming; the -ladies were instructed to fidget and wriggle in the -windows, by way of hint that there would be a -dance; the presence of Sir William Curtis made it -certain there would be turtle-soup; the curl of the -Reverend Dr. Lamond’s nose threatened a sermon; -the archery and men with white sticks pointed to a -procession; the hungry looks of the Burgh magistrates -and local men in authority, had obvious -reference to a levee; the pouting lips of the ladies -rendered a drawing-room indispensable; and the -bevies of breechless Highlanders and bandy-legged -Southerns in similar costume, were pretty sure -tokens of a theatrical exhibition,—and, from the -extreme officiousness of Glengarry, the Kouli -Khan of all the Celts, it was pretty apparent that -that exhibition could be nothing else than Rob -Roy—that prince of chieftains and cow-stealers. -Thus, while the first act was to be perfect in itself, -it was shrewdly contrived that it should develop -the sequence and economy of the others; but still, -to make assurance double-sure, the gazette writer -for Scotland, who had been a sinecurist since the -creation, was kept drudging at delineations of doings -and programmes of processions from morning -till night, and sometimes from night till morning.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span></p> - -<p>When the whole matter had been planned,—when -the officers of the household for Scotland had -got their robes of state,—when the archers had -learned to walk without treading down the heels of -each other’s shoes,—when the tailor, the barber, -and the dancing-master had done the needful upon -the Provost and Bailies,—when the tails of the -Highland chiefs had run quarantine,—when the -edge of the parsons’ appetites had been a little -blunted,—when the wonted tattoo had ceased,—when -lamps had been hung upon the front of every -house,—when the ladies had drilled themselves in -train-bearing, by the help of sheets and table-cloths, -and learned to do their salutations without any -inordinate smacking,—and when the elements of -dazzling and of din had been collected upon all the -heights, in the likeness of bone-fires, and bombs, -and bagpipes,—it wanted only the placing of the -royal foot upon the pier at Leith, to bring all those -mighty things into forward and fervent action.</p> - -<p>Amid all those mighty preparations, there was -one thing which was very remarkable, and which -throws perhaps more light both upon the morale -of the spectacle and the feelings of the people, than -any other that could be mentioned. The Scots, -generally, are allowed to be a people of song and of -sentiment. There is a feeling in their melodies, an -alternate pathos and glee in their songs, and an<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> -enthusiasm and romance in their legends, which are -perhaps not equalled, and certainly not surpassed -by those of any nation in the world. This may -with truth be said of the nation, taking the average -of times and of places; and, when it is considered -that the Modern Athens holds herself up to the -world as a sort of concentrated tincture or spirit of -all that is fine or feeling in the country,—as being -the throne of learning—the chosen seat of sentiment -and of song; furthermore, when upon this occasion -there was gathered in and about the Athens, all the -lights which are acknowledged as shining, and all -the fires which are recognised as burning, in taste -and talent throughout Scotland; it must be acknowledged, -that something might have been expected -to go upon record worthy of such a people at such -a time. It had been known that the great Seneschal -of all those royal musters,—the ears of the -Lord Advocate, the mouth of the Lord President, -the eyes of the Lord Provost—to hear, to speak, -and to stare, at mighty things as it were;—it had -been known that, at the mere loosening of a bookseller’s -purse-strings, his verse had flowed rapid as -the Forth, and his prose spread wide as its estuary; -and surely it was not too much to hope that he would -consecrate in song, or conserve in story, an event -which was so congenial to his avowed sentiments, -and which must have been (from the fond and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span> -forward part he played in it) so gratifying to his -individual vanity. When, too, it was recollected -that this famed and favoured servant of the muse -had gone, invited or not invited, to London at the -Coronation, lest the Laureat should break down -under the compound pressure of solemnity and -sack, and the glory slide into oblivion for the want -of a fit recorder, it was surely to be hoped that he -would have done justice to the royal show in his -own country, and in his own city. But, <i>ecce ridiculus -mus!</i> the pen which had been so swift, and -the tongue which had been so glib at the bidding -of a mere plebeian bookseller, were still and mute -when a king was the god, and an assembled nation -the worshippers. He who had made the world to -ring again with the shouts of Highland freebooters, -and the din of whose tournaments yet sounds in our -ears, failed at the very point of need! “Ah, where -was Roderick then! One blast upon <i>his</i> bugle -horn” had been worth all the senseless vulgarity -from Princes’-street, and all the piddling inanity of -Tweedale-court. It was wished for, it was called -for, it was imperious upon every principle—not of -consistency merely, but of gratitude; but it came -not; and all that stands recorded as having -come from his otherwise fluent pen upon the occasion, -is a paltry and vulgar drinking song, which it -would disgrace the most wretched Athenian <i>caddie</i><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> -to troll in the lowest pot-house of the Blackfriars -wynd.</p> - -<p>If one whose piping is so gratefully received -and so amply rewarded, and whose loyalty has been -withal so abundant and so profitable, remained -mute or degenerated into mere foolery upon the -occasion, what could be expected from the provincial -and unhired dabblers in verse, who write only to -the casual inspiration of love or liquor, and melt -in madrigals or madden in catches according as -Cupid or Bacchus holds the principal sway! -Nothing, I maintain, and therefore the Great Unknown -is guilty not only of his own omission, but -of that of all his countrymen. If he had done as he -ought,—done in a way worthy of himself—putting -the occasion entirely out of the question, there is -not a doubt but the whole drove would have been -at his heels. As the case stands, whatever may be -the comparative merits of the Whig <i>becks</i> and -Tory <i>booings</i>, the poetic eclat of the visit of George -the Fourth must succumb to that of the descent of -Jamie in sixteen hundred and eighteen.</p> - -<p>How is this to be accounted for?—I can see -why the mouths of the minor poets must have -remained shut; but, to find an apology for the -master one, is no such easy matter; and perhaps the -safe way for all parties would be to place his salvation -in consternation by day, and cups by night.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span> -Still, it is remarkable that, though this was the -only royal visit with which Scotland had, during -the reigns of six monarchs, been honoured, there -is no where existing a single decent page, either in -verse or in prose, in commemoration of it; and, if -the long preparation which was made for it, the -bustle which it occasioned, and the crowds which -it drew together, be considered, one would feel -disposed thence to conclude, that the Athenians, -instead of being that literary people which they are -represented, are a set of ignorant barbarians. This -however is, as themselves say, not the fact, and -therefore there must be a cause for their supineness. -That cause, however, being beyond the -depth of my philosophy, must be left to their -own.</p> - -<p>While the Athens was making all preparations -to receive the king, and the king all speed to visit -the Athens, the elements, those outlaws from even -royal authority, created a little anxiety on both -sides. The weather, which had been propitious at -the outset, became (notwithstanding that the mayor -of Scarbro’, in his zeal to present a loyal address -at the end of a long stick, had been chucked into -the sea, like another Jonah, and not swallowed -up by a whale) not a little unpleasant, as the -royal squadron approached that singular rock, -once the abode of state prisoners, and now of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> -Solon geese, denominated the Bass, and resembling -more than any thing else a great pigeon-pie -riding at anchor. The chosen had arranged -that this same rock, emblematical of the ancient -manners as a prison-house, and haply of the modern -men as a gooserie, should be the first Scottish -soil trodden by the royal foot. Some said, that -this was intended to show that, though the said -chosen were unable to contend with their political -opponents in argument, they had the power on -their side, and could send them to prison; but -that is a point without the scope of my speculation, -and it is of no consequence, as the Father of -the sea would not permit the Father of the British -people to land.</p> - -<p>When a day and night more than had been calculated -upon were expired, without any tidings of -the royal squadron, the gloom of the Athenian -authorities became sad in the extreme. Here you -would find one wight twining up the steep acclivities -of Arthur’s Seat, jerking his fatigued corpus upon -the pile of coal which had been collected upon the -top for a bon-fire, and straining his owl-like eyes -to penetrate the dense fog of the eastern horizon, -like a conjuror ogling the volume of futurity; and -there would go a frowsy bailie or fat sheriff hotching -and blowing to the observatory on the Calton -Hill, keeping the anxious window of his wisdom<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> -for ten minutes at the telescope, and leaving it with -a growl that he could “see nothing,”—and how -could he, bless his honest soul! for he had not removed -the brass cap from its opposite extremity? -No matter: bailies and sheriffs must understand -Erskine’s Institutes, but a telescope was quite another -thing. Amid this looking and lamenting, the -wind freshened, and it rained; and there were also -one or two distant growls of thunder, which fear -very naturally converted into signals of distress -from his Majesty’s yacht. Upon this, the mental -agony became immense; and, saving an attempt -on the part of Kerne of the Clan Donnochie, to -open with his dirk a free passage for the soul of a -Canon-gate constable, no event had broken the -gloom of that dismal Tuesday. “Mirk Monday” -had long been a day accursed in the Scottish calendar, -and it was now feared that his younger -brother was to reign in his stead.</p> - -<p>Next morning was little better; and though all -the loyal spirits of Athens scrambled to the heights -to call the king from the fog-enshrouded and -“vasty deep,” there was no answer to their call, -save the hollow booming of the east wind, and the -melancholy scream of these sea-fowl which had -escaped from the storm. They who had been instrumental -in bringing their sovereign into such -peril, wist not what to do; and, as is the case with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span> -most men in such a situation, they did nothing,—at -least nothing which could increase his safety, or -accelerate his arrival.</p> - -<p>Still the preparations went on; and, in the sadness -and anxiety of the day, the drilling of the -highlanders and archers—who had become so expert -as to face all possible ways at a single word of -command—were not a jot abated, while the gloom -of the night was broken by the clinking of hammers -erecting scaffolding in every thoroughfare, as -well as by pattering feet of official and other men -learning to “make their legs” against the levee, -and the scratching of grinders’ pens translating, redacting, -and otherways brushing up loyal and dutiful -addresses, which came before them on all -complexions of paper, and in all concatenations of -orthography. Nor were these glimpses through -the gloom confined to sounds; the sights were -equally delectable. Here, one might catch a sight -of some single star, not of the first magnitude, -twisting her face into all expressions, and her -neck into all attitudes, in order to find the barleycorn -of beauty in the bushel of chaff; and there -again might be beheld a whole constellation, bedraperied -with sheets as aforesaid, streaming forward -through some long gallery, tailed and terrible -as comets, and then retreating backwards -with perplexed and puzzled steps, tucking up the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> -sheets as they progressed, and occasionally dropping -like falling stars from the firmament of their -practice.</p> - -<p>Morning dawned; and the sleepless eyes and -speculationless telescopes again faired forth to scan -the gloomy east. One from the top of the Calton, -cried “There is the Royal George! I know her -by the spread of her sails, and the sweep of her oars.” -The crowd looked toward the sea, and saw nothing. -The observer looked at his telescope: a -moth had settled upon the object glass, with downy -wings elevated above, and feet and feelers extended -below. Still the crowd collected, till every height -commanding a view of the point at which the -Forth mingles its broad waters with the ocean, -was absolutely paved with human beings, all worshipping -towards the east, with more intense devotion -than a caravan of Moslem pilgrims in the -desert.</p> - -<p>Toward mid-day, the more experienced eye, or -better-ordered glass of the port-admiral at Leith, -descried the smoke of the assisting steam-boats. -Up went the royal standard; every gun of every -ship in the roads told the tidings; and instantly -the echoes of cliff and castle rang to the shouts -of an hundred thousand joyous voices. All was -bustle and scramble. Heralds marshalling here, -clans mustering there, and people crowding everywhere;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> -while the royal squadron, now aided by -a gentle but favourable breeze, stood majestically -toward the roads, where it anchored about two -o’clock. Anon the water was peopled with loyalty; -the splendour of dresses and of flags dazzled the -eye; and the swell of all sorts of noises deafened -the ear. The equilibrium of the clouds was unsettled; -and, just as preparations were making -for the landing, rain fell in torrents. Lest so -much finery should be spoiled in the first scene -of the drama, the grand ceremony was postponed -till the next morning. The king, in the mean -time, received at the hands of Sir Walter Scott, -a St. Andrew’s cross, the gift of some ladies of -Scotland, whose names (prudently perhaps) never -were distinctly published. Nearly at the same -time with this, came a messenger of another description. -He told that the Marquis of Londonderry -was no more; and thus, even the royal -joy was not wholly unmingled. Still the king -showed himself to his aquatic visitors in the -most courteous manner; and, perhaps, the two -events were the better borne that they came -together. Thus the Athens had another night -for preparation; and, as it was not a night of -fear, that preparation went on with increased -activity and spirit. She had now seen the king;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span> -and but a night was to elapse, ere the gratification -was to be mutual, by the king seeing her. On -his part, indeed, it should have been greatest, as -she had given herself most trouble, and would -continue longest to feel the cost.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER III.</h2> - -<p class="pc2 lmid">THE ATHENS RECEIVES THE KING, AND IS -JOYOUS.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pp6">All tongues speak of him, and the bleared sights<br /> -Are spectacled to see him: your prattling nurse<br /> -Into a rapture lets her baby cry,<br /> -While she chats him: the kitchen malkin pins<br /> -Her richest lockram ’bout her reechy neck,<br /> -Clambering the walls to eye him: stalls, bulks, windows,<br /> -Are smother’d up, leads fill’d, and ridges horsed,<br /> -With variable complexions; all agreeing<br /> -In earnestness to see him: seld’-shewn flamens<br /> -Do press among the popular throngs, and puff<br /> -To win a vulgar station: our veil’d dames<br /> -Commit the war of white and damask, in<br /> -Their nicely-gawded cheeks, to the wanton spoil<br /> -Of Phœbus’ burning kisses; such a pother,<br /> -As if that whatsoever god, who leads him,<br /> -Were slily crept into his human powers,<br /> -And gave him graceful posture.—<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">Every</span> one, who having heard of the splendour -which is attendant upon royalty while dwelling -at a distance from the scene of its display, has -thence been induced to mingle himself with the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span> -crowd of ordinary spectators, must have felt how -much the reality falls short of the anticipation. -One sees a gaudy vehicle drawn slowly along, and -within it a human being, apparently but ill at his -ease, and obviously feeling the same danger of -tumbling from his unnatural and elevated seat as -one perched upon the top of a pyramid. A crowd, -usually formed of the ill-dressed and the idle, run -and roar about the carriage; the trumpeters play -“God save the King,” the attendants wave their -hats and cheer, and the spectacle, having passed -through its routine, is no more heeded. In London, -for instance, those state processions which the etiquette -of the court inflicts upon the sovereign, are -not more imposing than a Lord-Mayor’s show; -and even the most loyal, unless it conduces in some -way or other to their personal interest, care little -for a second display.</p> - -<p>With this experience, I had prepared myself -for being disappointed in that spectacle which had -brought Scotland together; and I <i>was</i> disappointed. -But my disappointment was of a new -kind; for the solemnity, the grandeur, and the -effect of the scene, were just as much superior to -what I had hoped for, as those of any analogous -scene that I had witnessed fell below the anticipation. -The Scots are, unquestionably, not a superstitious -people; neither do they care for parade.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> -Upon ordinary occasions, too, they are a disputing -and quarrelling, rather than an united people; and -with the exception of those who are either paid or -expect to be paid for it, they are by no means inordinate -in their loyalty. But they are a people -whose feelings have the depth, as well as the placidity, -of still waters; the rocks, the rivers, and even -the houses, are things of long duration; there is no -portion of his country, upon which the foot of a -Scotchman can fall, that speaks not its tale or its -legend; and there is no Scotchman who does not -look upon himself as identified with the annals of his -country, and regard Edinburgh as the seat of a -royal line, of which no man can trace the beginning, -and of which no Scotchman can bear to contemplate -the end; and which, though it has been bereaved -of its royal tenant by an unfortunate union -with a more wealthy land, is yet more worthy of -him, and more his legitimate and native dwelling-place, -than any other city in existence.</p> - -<p>The operation of those feelings, or prejudices, or -call them what you will, produced upon the occasion -of which I am speaking, a scene, or rather a -succession of scenes, of a more intense and powerful -interest than any which I had ever witnessed, -or, indeed, could have pictured to myself in the -warmest time and mood of my imagination. I had -thought the thronging of the people to Edinburgh<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span> -a ridiculous waste of time; I had laughed till every -rib of me ached, at the fantastic fooleries of the -Celts and Archers, and the grotesque array of the -official men; and founding my expectations upon -these, I had made up my mind that the whole matter -was to be a farce or a failure. But I had taken -wrong data: I had formed my opinion of Scotland -from the same persons that, to the injury and the -disgrace of Scotland, form the channel through -which the British Government sees it; and therefore -I was not prepared for that solemn and soul-stirring -display,—that rush of the whole intellect of a reflective, -and of the whole heart of a feeling people, -adorned and kept in measured order, by that intermixture -of moral tact and of national pride, which -was exhibited to the delighted King, and the astonished -courtiers. It seemed as though hundreds -of years of the scroll of memory had been unrolled; -and that the people, carrying the civilization, the -taste, and the science, of the present day along -with them, had gone back to those years when -Scotland stood alone, independent in arms, and invincible -in spirit.</p> - -<p>As, to the shame of the literature of Scotland, -and more especially to that of the Athens—who -arrogates to herself the capability of saying every -thing better than any body else, no account of this -singular burst of national feeling has appeared, except<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span> -the gossiping newspaper-reports at the time, -and a tasteless <i>pot pourri</i>, hashed up of the worst -of these, with scraps of gazettes, and shreds of addresses,—in -which, more especially the latter, it -would be vain to look for any trace of the spirit of -the people,—it is but an act of common justice in -me to devote a few pages to it, though I know well -that I shall fail of the effect which I am anxious to -produce. In order, as much as I can, to guard -against this, I shall divide the remainder of this -chapter, (which, in spite of me, will be rather a -long one,) into as many sections as there were acts -in the drama of the King’s visit. The first of -these will of course be,</p> - - -<p class="pc1 reduct">THE PROCESSION TO HOLYROOD.</p> -<p class="pc reduct">—————“He comes, he comes!<br /> -Sound the trumpets, beat the drums.”</p> - -<p class="p1">It seemed as though the lowering skies and -sweeping storms, which had made the longing people -of Scotland almost despair of the pleasure of -the royal visit, and which had drenched them, and -given them a whole night of impatient delay, when -the King was not many furlongs from the Scottish -shore, had been intended to heighten by their contrast -the splendour and eclât of the royal debarkation. -The morning of Thursday, the 15th of -August, dawned in all the freshness of spring, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> -in all the serenity of summer. The rains had given -a renovated greenness to the fields, and a thorough -ablution to the city; and while the first rays of the -morning sun streamed through the curling smoke -of fires that were preparing the breakfast of three -hundred thousand loyal and delighted people, they -painted upon the adjoining country that “clear -shining after rain,” which is, perhaps, the fairest and -freshest guise in which any land can be viewed. The -soft west wind just gave to the expanded Firth as -much of a ripple as to shew that it was living water, -without curling the angry crest of a single billow. -There was a transparency in the air, of which those -who are accustomed only to the murky atmosphere -of London, or the exhalations of the fat pastures of -England, could have no conception. Not only the -colour of every pendant in the roads, but the cordage -of every ship, and the costume of every one on -board, was discernible from the elevated grounds -about Edinburgh; and, while standing on the -Calton Hill, the royal squadron, with thousands of -boats and barges sporting around it, on the one -hand,—and the bustling crowd on the other, -decked in their various and gaudy attire, flitting -past every opening, and filling every street that -was visible, composed a panorama of the most spirit-stirring -description.</p> - -<p>The ancient standard of Scotland was hoisted at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span> -Holyrood; the ancient crown and sceptre of Scotland -were there ready to be lent to his Majesty,—but, -too sacred and too dear to Scotland as the symbols -of her old and loved independence, for being -given to a king, whom she had come from her -utmost bourne, decked herself in her finest apparel, -and tuned her heart to its choicest song of joy, to -welcome; the royal household of Scotland, more -showy in their attire, and more self-important in -their bearing, than is usual where kings are -subjects of daily exhibition, because the robes and -the occupation were new, were proceeding toward -the place of their rendezvous by the longest and -most circuitous paths that they could find out, -anxious to levy their modicum of admiration ere -the more transcendent splendour and dignity of -the king should draw all eyes towards itself, and -leave them as the forgotten tapers of the night, -after the glorious orb of day has climbed the east; -the Caledonian fair were thronging to the casements, -(balconies there were none,) each looking -more happy than another, and one could easily -perceive that faces, which, during a reasonable -lapse of years—either through the fault or the -failure of Hymen—had been stiffened by sorrow, -and saddened by despair, were that day to be -decked in their earliest, their virgin smile,—a smile -which, they were not without hopes, might draw<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span> -other eyes, and charm other hearts, than those of -their sovereign; and the maddening burghers and -wondering yeomen were trotting about from place -to place; and, in their zeal for obtaining the best -sight of the king, running some risk of not seeing -him at all.</p> - -<p>Having seen the muster of the official men—as -well those who were to proceed to the pier of Leith -to receive his Majesty, as they who were to deliver -to him the keys of the city of Edinburgh, and -thereupon speak a speech, into which a full year’s -eloquence of the whole corporation, with some assistance -of the crown lawyers, and a note or two -by Sir Walter Scott, was crammed,—having examined -the facilities which the people along the -line of the procession had given the tenants of a day -for gratifying their eyes,—and having felt more joy -at heart than I had ever done at a public spectacle, -at seeing so vast a multitude so very happy, -and so very worthy of happiness,—I set about -choosing my own station, in order that I might -gaze, and wonder, and be delighted with the rest; -and, after very mature deliberation, I resolved -that that should be upon the leads of the palace -of Holyrood, provided I could get access to the -same.</p> - -<p>Access was by no means difficult to be obtained, -nor was my ascent to the top of the ancient structure<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span> -without its pleasures. In the first place, I -passed through the apartments of the fair queen of -Scotland,—the fairest, and all things considered, -perhaps, the frailest of royal ladies; and there I -found the whole localities of Rizzio’s murder, well -preserved both in appearance and in tradition. In -the second place, I had the pleasure of seeing upon -the leads, dressed in the plain tartan of her adopted -clan, the fair Lady Glenorchy, who possesses all -the charms of Mary, without any of her faults. -I am not sure that I ever saw a finer woman; I am -sure that I never saw one in whose expression intellect -was more blended with sweetness, or spirit -softened and enriched by modesty and grace.</p> - -<p>Besides those intellectual (is that the term?) -pleasures, there were other things which rendered -my locality the best of any: First, it commanded -a larger and better view of the procession; and, -secondly, though Edinburgh looks romantic from -my situation, there is none where it becomes so -perfect a fairy tale. While I paced along the -leads of the palace, and I had ample time to do it, -I was more and more rivetted, both in motion and -in gaze, by the wonderful scene. Eastward was -the expanse of blue water, widening and having no -boundary in the extreme horizon, and confined -every where else between the soft, green, lovely, -and productive shores of Lothian and Fife. Along<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span> -the whole visible portion of the waters, no ship -was going forth upon her voyage, but many were -cruizing towards the port of Leith by the combined -powers of every thing that enables man to -make his way upon the deep. Northward rose the -Calton Hill, ornamented with one of the best and -one of the worst specimens of modern architecture, -having a park of artillery and a picquet of horsemen -upon its summit, and its sides groaning under -the weight of a multitude which no man could -count. Sufficiently elevated at one place for throwing -its more elevated objects against the sky, and -rapid enough in its slope for bringing out at whole -length the masses of people who occupied it, the -Calton did not conceal either the royal squadron in -Leith roads, or the majestic summits of the remote -Grampians,—from which every cloud and every -trace of mist had been brushed away, when I -first ascended, while the strong and peculiar refraction -that the atmosphere in such cases exerts, -gave to them only half their distance and -double their height, as if the mountains themselves -had raised them from the beds of their primeval -residence, and come near, to behold the splendour -which the Athens had put on, and the glory with -which she hoped to be blessed. Towards the -south, Salisbury Craggs and Arthur’s Seat raised -their summits to the mid heaven, and threw their<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span> -broad shadows over the valley, into which the -beams of light which poured in at the openings of -the majestic wall of rock, seamed the blue shadow -as the lapis lazuli is seamed by gold. The view -this way was to me peculiarly sublime, not only -from the great contrast that it formed with every -thing around, and indeed every thing that one -could conceive to exist in the vicinity of a city, -but because of its own peculiar and inherent sublimity, -and the wild accompaniments with which -it had been decorated for the occasion. The crags -rose rugged and perpendicular, with their profile -dark as night, while standards, and tents, and -batteries, and armed men on foot and on horseback, -hung over the wild and airy steep. A flood -of mellow light which came in from behind gave -them the lineaments of giants, and a glory of colouring -far exceeding any thing that limner ever -tinted. Then rose the more sublime height of -Arthur’s Seat, thrown back by the vapour which -the sun was exhaling from the dew in the dell between, -and having its summit haloed with a glory -of radiant prismatic colours, through which the -solitary stranger or flitting picquet seemed beings -of another world. And, as the sun-beams came -and went upon burnished helm or brazen cuirass, -the whole seemed spotted with gold, or inlaid with -costly stones. At my feet was the court of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span> -palace, in which the royal standard was guarded by -a fine body of highlanders, and the palace-gates kept -by a goodly array of the Edinburgh archery, who, -though they seemed not to be the least important -part of the spectacle in their own eyes, were yet -intent upon procuring for their favoured fair those -situations from which they would best view the -glories of the archers and of the king.</p> - -<p>Before me, the Athens herself clustered her -buildings, and shot up her towers, her spires, and -her castles, with a witchery of effect, which can be -equalled by the view of no other British city, and -surpassed by that of the Athens from no other -point. When one, for instance, ascends the top of -St. Paul’s, one wonders at the business and bustle -that is around; but the eye is tired with the -interminable lines of dull brick, and the dingy -clusters of puny steeples, and smoking chimney-stalks; -while the sound, and the rushing, and the -artificial origin of the whole, make one melancholy -with the idea that it will not last. One should -never look down upon a city: the sight is always -dingy, and the view always produces melancholy.</p> - -<p>From the leads whereon I stood, though I was -high above the court of the palace, I was below -all the city except that rubbish which was concealed; -and never did the mere sight of houses -produce such an effect upon me. The ground was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span> -so magical, and the buildings so different in form, -that the whole seemed as though it had been -moulded by the hands of giants, or commanded -into existence by the fiat of a god; and, in firmness -and colour, it was so like the rocks upon -which it rested, and by which it was surrounded, -that it looked as though it had lasted from the -beginning of time, and would endure to the end. -Right in front of me, the high street opened at -intervals its deep ravine; upon the summit of a -hill, but still, from the great height of the houses, -appearing as if that hill had been cleft in twain, -to open a way from the palace on which I stood -to the castle, which, from its aged rock at the -other extremity, looked proudly down as the monarch -of the Athens, seated upon a throne which -would out-exist those of all the monarchs of the -nations. Around this were clustered palace and -spire, each upon its terrace, while the spacious -bridges, beneath whose arches the distant Pentland -hills and the sky were visible, formed an aërial -path from the grandeur of one place to the grandeur -of another.</p> - -<p>There was something so novel, so wildly romantic, -and so overpowering, in all this, that I -retired to the most remote and elevated part of -the roof, leaned me against a chimney-stalk, and, -forgetting the king, the procession, the people, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span> -myself, was in one of those reveries, in which the -senses are too much gratified, and the judgment -too much lost for allowing the fancy to sketch, -and the memory to notice. “This is incomprehensibly -fine!” were the words which I then ejaculated -to myself; and now that the presence of the -picture is gone, and the recollection such as no -mind could retain, I can do nothing more than -repeat them.</p> - -<p>I stood thus absorbed till about mid-day, at -which time the flash and the report of a solitary -gun from the royal yacht caught my eye and my -ear, and made me start into recollection. Just -then, a cloud of the most impenetrable darkness -had collected behind, or, as it appeared to me, -around the castle, which made the Athens appear -as if her magnitude stretched on into the impenetrable -gloom of infinitude. But I had no time to -pursue the train of feeling to which that would -have given rise; for the volleyed cannon—flash -upon flash and peal upon peal, and the huzzaing -people—shout upon shout and cheer after cheer, -made the cliffs and mountains ring around me, -and the palace rock under my feet, as though the -heavens and the earth had been coming together, -and the Athens had been to be dashed to pieces in -the maddening of her own joy. The ships in the -roads first pealed out the tale, and the blue waters<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span> -of the Forth were enshrouded in a vesture of silvery -smoke. Anon the batteries upon the Calton -took up the tidings; and their roar, all powerful -as it was, was almost drowned in the voices of the -thousands which thronged that romantic hill. In -an instant, the same deafening sounds, and the -same gleaming fires, burst away from the Craggs on -the left; and the cannon and the cry continued to -call and to answer to each other from the right -hand and from the left, as—</p> - -<p class="pp6 p1">——“Jura answers through her misty shroud,<br /> -Back to the joyous Alps, which call to her aloud,”</p> - -<p class="pn1">till every atom of the air was reverberating with -sound, every cliff and every building returning its -echo, the ground reeling to the noise, the fleecy -smoke hanging upon the cliffs like the clouds of -heaven, or settling down till the Athens put on -the appearance of a sea, in which the more elevated -buildings and spires seemed islets, and the -castle, with her glaring fires, and her astounding -volleys, towered like an Etna, burning, blazing, -and thundering across the deep. What with the -closing of the natural clouds, and the spreading of -the artificial ones, the darkness which even at noon-day -had settled over the city was awfully sublime; -even the mass of the castle, large and lofty though -it be, was shrouded in the thick vapour of the sky<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span> -and of itself, so that all which the eye could discern, -was the flashes of artillery contending with -the flickering of distant lightning, and all that the -ear could hear was the mingled peal and jubilee, -in the pauses of which the voice of the distant -thunder was too feeble for being heard. The darkness -borrowed additional sublimity, if indeed that -was possible, from the pure and unclouded light of -the sun, which a few straggling beams that occasionally -stole their way as far as the slopes of -Arthur Seat, told me was sleeping upon the plains -of Lothian; and the din of the joy received all the -accession of contrast from the stilly silence which -reigned in the deserted halls and desolated villages -of that busy and blooming land. Amid this darkness -and din, the royal barge rowed softly towards -the Scottish strand, and the sovereign of these -realms was the first to set his foot upon Scottish -ground, while the author of these pages occupied -the very pinnacle of the Scottish palace. The -magistrates of Leith, all tingling and but ill at -their ease, stood shaking and speechless to receive -him; but their blushes were a good deal spared -by those grand monopolists of Caledonian loyalty, -the lords president, justice clerk, baron register, -and advocate, and that mighty master of the ceremonies, -and that mightier memorialist, (who, it -was hoped, would cut the thing into everlasting<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span> -brass,) Sir Walter Scott. But though the monopolizing -lords blushed not, they blanched a little, -when they found the eyes of the king turning everywhere -with the same beaming delight upon the -people, whose appearance and whose conduct -showed him that Scotland, if not the most polished, -was by no means the least polished jewel -of his crown; and the baronet, who haply was -brought there, chiefly from the eclât which his -literary renown would confer upon his less gifted -but more official associates, found perchance that -the glory of an author, however high in itself, and -however rewarded, is but a tiny instrument of -Royal joy.</p> - -<p>The guardsmen, who very judiciously were chiefly -either Scottish citizens or Scottish soldiers, succeeded, -not in keeping order among their countrymen, but in -preventing breaches of it among themselves; but the -<i>Craggan nan phidiach</i>,—the Raven of the Rock of -Glengarry, was of too bold spirit, and too bustling -wing, to be so restrained. To prevent accidents, -this mighty personage, who had stood up bonnetted, -dirked, and pistolled, at the King’s coronation, -to the utter dismay of the ladies of England, -had been sent upon this occasion to keep watch and -ward upon the state-coach; but when the coach -had taken its place in the procession, the chieftain -stepped a little way out of his, bustling through the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span> -crowd to give Mac Mhic Alistair Mhor’s welcome; -and it was not till the Lion of England had knitted -his brows and shaken his mane, that the Raven of -the Rock flew back to her station.</p> - -<p>Onward moved the procession, through avenues -of people, and arches of triumph,—one of which -latter spoke as much as ten volumes upon the learning -of the Athens, and the ignorance of the <i>mercatores</i> -of Leith: “<i>O felicem diem!</i>” said that side -of the first triumphant arch which looked towards -the Athens; “O happy day!” quoth the one which -smiled upon the lack-Latin lieges of Leith.</p> - -<p>When the procession had cleared the town of -Leith, and was moving gracefully along that broad -and beautiful walk, which still keeps Leith at a respectful -and proper distance from the Athens, the -first presentation upon Scottish ground was made to -the King—and perhaps none more honourable in its -spirit, or honest in its intention, was made to him -during his whole sojourn. There was presented to -George the Fourth, a <i>Parliament-cake</i>,—not such -a cake as is gleaned from the fields of a country, or -baked in the oven of a royal burgh, and thence -sent to St. Stephen’s Chapel as a well-leavened -waive-offering, (and from which, by the way, -Scotland has got by way of eminence the name of -the <i>Land of Cakes</i>,) but something more luscious -and learned still,—a cake of sweet and spicy ginger-bread,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span> -stamped with all the letters of the alphabet, -and by combination and consequence, with the -whole learning and literature of the united kingdom. -The presentation alluded to happened thus: -Margaret Sibbald, an able-bodied matron of Fisher-Row, -had been induced, through the compound -stimulus of curiosity and loyalty, to leave her home -all unbreakfasted, in order to take her place in the -royal procession; Margaret had stored her ample -leathern pouch with a penny-worth of Parliament-cake, -in order to support nature through this -praise-worthy work; but Margaret’s eyes had been -so much feasted, that Margaret’s stomach was forgotten. -Seeing that the King wore a hue which -she did not consider as the hue of health, and -judging that it might arise from depletion induced -by his rocking upon the waters, she elbowed -her way through horsemen, Highland-men, archer-men, -and official men, up to the royal carriage, and -drawing forth her only cake, held it up to his Majesty, -expressing sorrow that his royal countenance -was so pale, and assuring him that if she had had -any thing better he would have got it. A forward -strippling of the guards charged Margaret sword in -hand, to which Margaret replied, “Ye wearifu’ -thing o’ a labster! Ye hae nae mense, I hae dune -mair for the King than you can either do or help -to do; I hae born him sax bonnie seamen as ere<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span> -hauled a rope, or handled a cutlass.” It was, however, -no time for prolonged hostilities, and so Margaret -was lost in the crowd, and the guardsman not -noticed in the procession.</p> - -<p>Many were the events of the march ere the King -arrived at the end of Picardy-Place, to receive the -silver keys of the Athens, and hear the silvery tones -of her chief magistrate; I shall mention only one: -The pawky provost of a burgh of the extreme north, -determined to see the whole, and yet not pay his -half-guinea for a seat in one of the booths, had -scrambled to the top of a tree at Greenside-Place, -where he hung rocking like a crow’s nest. As the -King approached, the provost swung himself to -one side, waving his bonnet, and screeching his -huzza, in strains which would have scared all the -owls in England; and when the mass and the -movement of this loyalty were in full effect, they -proved too mighty for the support, so that the -pine and the provost fell prostrate before the King. -Even this was not much heeded: the procession -moved on, and the provost moved off.</p> - -<p>At last the King came to the wicker-gate of the -city, the keys were presented, the speech was -spoken, and the crowd in a great measure melted -away, by the majority hurrying away toward the -Calton-Hill, whence they could command a view of -the whole during almost a mile of its march. This<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span> -desertion fell like cold water upon the official men, -and even the King himself seemed disappointed.</p> - -<p>But the gloom and the disappointment were of -no long duration, for no sooner did he turn the -corner into St. Andrew’s-street, than the mass of -shouting and ecstatic people who hung upon the -whole beetling side of the hill, and covered every -part of the buildings, came upon him with a shock -of joy and a touch of exultation, which made the -cold state of the monarch give way to the warm -feelings of the man. “My God! that is altogether -overpowering!” said he, snatching off his hat and -essaying to join in the cheer, but his voice faltered, -and tears, which were not tears of sorrow, suffused -his eyes, and watered his cheeks.</p> - -<p>His reception when he landed had been confined, -and the people were too near for giving vent to -their feelings; and the delivering of the keys, -though there was a crowd there because the King -halted a little, was a piece of mummery, about -which so reflective a people as the Scotch cared -little; but when the King was discerned in Prince’s Street, -when the living hill-side beheld his approach, -and when the assembled nation reflected -that their Monarch was coming in peace to visit -them,—it was then that Scotland welcomed the -King, with a welcome which none that saw or heard -it is likely ever to forget. The first shout was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span> -astounding, and it rose and rung till it was answered -by voices of joy over a wide circumference.</p> - -<p>During all this time I had not seen the procession, -but I heard of it from one who was close -by the royal person all the time, and whose character -for truth and feeling is recognised as well by -the world of letters as by the world of men. I -must confess that, choice and chosen as was my -place, the occupation of it was a pretty severe trial -on my patience; and when I first saw the yellow -plumes of the Braidalbanes, and the tall and majestic -form of their leader, issuing from behind the -monument of David Hume, and heard the notes of -their bagpipes pealing “the Campbells are coming,” -I had almost wished myself a Highlander, and in -the procession. The King soon arrived at the -Palace, had a hurried interview with some of the -officers of state, and then drove off for Dalkeith-House, -there to pause and recover from the fatigue -of the voyage, and the excitement of the procession.</p> - - -<p class="pc1 reduct">THE ILLUMINATION, THE LEVEE AND COURT, -AND THE LADIES.</p> - -<p class="pp6q p1">“Ten thousand tapers shone; ten thousand lords,<br /> -And squires, and yeomen, hungry clerks, and churchmen,<br /> -Bended the supple knee; ten thousand ladies,<br /> -With eyes of love, lit up the nether skies.”</p> - -<p class="pn1">Although each of these, no doubt, seemed to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span> -parties themselves of sufficient importance to add -to the shelves of literature a new volume, instead of -being confined to a single chapter or section, yet I -am induced to bring the three into juxtaposition, -because I shall thereby preserve the unities,—have -a beginning in light, a middle in somewhat of -gruffness, if not of gloom, and an end as glorious -as the congregated beauty of a whole nation, together -with divers importations, could make it.</p> - -<p>It may be thought that the burning of a certain -number of candles, the hanging up of a certain -number of coloured lamps, and the displaying of a -few ill-daubed transparencies, could contain no -trait of national character; and that therefore it -ought to find no place in these pages. But there -was, perhaps, no one scene during the whole solemnity -which brought out the character of the -Scotch more decidedly than the illumination of -Edinburgh upon the evening after that on which -the King landed. The town of Leith had indeed -been both very generally and very finely illuminated -on the evening before; but that haughty spirit of -the Athens which makes her bear herself somewhat -saucily toward all her compatriot (or if you will, -com-<i>provosted</i>) cities and towns in general, and towards -poor Leith in particular,—that spirit which -made them taunt Leith with the translated side of -the inscription, in the morning, made them reckon<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span> -it high treason against the majesty of the Athens -to look at, or talk of, her illumination in the evening; -and thus, although the thing was no doubt -very fine, there were few to wonder, and still fewer -to put that wonder upon record. When the Athens, -however, hung out her physical lamps, the emblems -of her metaphysical light, all came, all saw, and all -admired. It was a novelty to me: the illumination -was so general, the streets were so thronged, and -the people were so orderly. No doubt, there were -wanting that profusion of daubed transparencies, -and dangling festoons, tagged with classic mottoes -and allusions, ill-quoted and worse applied, which -are found in other places; but here, again, his -Majesty would have had cause to exclaim, that the -nation by which he was surrounded were all ladies -and gentlemen. Excepting at the public buildings, -the houses of official persons, the apartments -of clubs and societies, and the houses of a few private -individuals, the abode of peer and burgher -were illuminated in the same style, and with the -same brilliance. I waive the details as to who -hung up a crown in white lamps, or a thistle in -green and red, or who took up their motto in Latin, -in English, or in Gaelic. I do not even dwell -upon the general effect; for though, on account of -the situations in Edinburgh, the state of the -weather, and the zeal of all classes of the people,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span> -that was as fine as possible,—it was the people -themselves that were the sight. Natives and visiters, -three hundred thousand of every rank, age, -and sex, thronged the streets to such a degree, that -it was difficult in many of them to get a sight either -of the pavement or the carriage-way. This immense -mass put one very much in mind of bees; -their noise at any point was scarcely louder than -the hum of those insects, and in their varied motions -they clashed as little with each other. Instead -of brawling and wrangling, which almost invariably -take place on such occasions, the most elegant -escaped without a stain, and the most feeble without -a jostle. The accommodation which they afforded -each other in their progress was truly remarkable: -When one came to any of the elevations -so frequent in the streets of Edinburgh, one saw -nothing but human beings, thick and reeling as the -leaves in an autumnal whirlwind; and yet, if one -chose, one’s progress could be as rapid and almost -as free of interruption as if the street had been -deserted. I did not remark a face in the whole assemblage -that did not express the feeling of being -pleased itself, and the desire of communicating -pleasure to all around it. Just as was the case on -the day of his Majesty’s entry, the conduct of the -people was the same as if they had been engaged -in a solemn and felicitous act of religious worship.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span></p> - -<p>While the inhabitants of the Athens and their -visiters were thus rejoicing in the light which -themselves had kindled, (a species of joy which, -by the way, is peculiarly congenial to the said -Athenians,) they whispered, as any unknown personage -of sufficient size for a monarch moved -through the crowd, that that personage could be -none other than the king himself in disguise. Indeed, -I am not sure but a considerable portion -of that decorum which marked Edinburgh -upon this occasion was owing to the apprehension -which every body had that the royal eye might be -upon them, without their knowing any thing about -it; but whatever might be the operating principle, -whether a sense of decorum, or national or personal -pride, the effect was equally striking, and the -merit perhaps equally great. But still, though the -illumination, especially when the spirit of the people -is taken into the account, was a fine show, still -it was only a show, and a show in which the king, -or even the Athens, in her peculiar capacity, took -no part, and in which official men cut no more -figure than the common herd.</p> - -<p>With the <i>levee</i> it was otherwise: that was one -of the grand acts for which the king had been -invited to Scotland; and it is utterly impossible -to form even an idea of the hopes that were built -upon it. From the very first blush of the business,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span> -the regular, thorough-going tories, (which, in Scotland, -mean those who will take any public employment, -and pocket any public money, however -improperly or dirtily got,) fancied that the whole -consequence of the land was to be entwined around -their capacious heads, and the whole wealth of it -crammed into their more capacious pockets; and -thus, they had given themselves airs, at which an -Englishman would have been perfectly thunderstruck. -A very respectable and very independent -proprietor of the county of Fife told me that, a -personage who had acted as tell-tale of their village -during the war, and who, for a long time after the -peace, continued to sell plots (perhaps at a handsome -discount) to the crown lawyers of Scotland, -until the ministry put an end to the unavailing -traffic, would occasionally be found pacing over -his estate, tasting the soil of the fields, and noting -down what he was to have sown in each of them, -after the king should have put him in possession.</p> - -<p>The people were quite full of stories of this -kind; and I have no doubt that the desire of seeing -how these men of high loyalty and higher hopes -would act, was one of the chief causes that brought -so many provincial people to the Athens; and that -the humiliation that these persons met with was, -next to the joy at seeing each other happy, one of -the greatest boasts that the whole affair yielded.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span> -Without a previous knowledge of the political system -of Scotland,—the way in which the few vicegerents -in the Athens gobble up the loaves and the -fishes, how lesser men over the country snap at the -crumbs; and how they all growl, and worry, and -snarl at other folks, it is quite impossible to form -an idea of the insolence by which the little men of -office were actuated. As, however, I shall have to -discuss this matter when I come to treat of the -politics of the Athens, (for it is there that the -centre and focus of the system exists,) it would be -both premature and unintelligible to notice them -here. Wherefore, I shall confine myself to what -I saw and heard as touching the levee.</p> - -<p>The night which preceded that eventful day was -an anxious and unclosing one to the men of hope -and of office, from all parts of Caledonia; and -baron and bailie, parson, provost, and professor, -great judge and small attorney, eloquent advocate -and uneloquent scribe,—all that the land of heath, of -herrings, and of black cattle, could produce, was, -with proud but palpitating heart, bedecking and -bedizening itself, in all sorts of dresses, official, -courtly, and nondescript, in order that they might, -in seemly array, kiss that Kaaba of all loyal men’s -worship, (and who would not be a loyal man upon -such an occasion,) the hand of a king. Three -dukes, the same tale of marquesses, sixteen earls,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span> -a brace of viscounts, twenty-nine barons, a pair of -right honourables, four great officers of state, sixteen -judges of the land, twenty-two who were honourable, -and eleven who lengthened the fag end -of the Scottish household, were there. Besides -seventy-seven baronets, twelve members of parliament, -thirty-eight lords lieutenant, a hundred -head of provosts, bailies, counsellors, and deacons, -“after their kinds,” with as many parsons, professors, -physicians, and pleaders, as were sufficient -to convert, and cultivate, and cure, from plethora -both of person and of purse, the whole British empire, -together with military men, who had fought -and who had not fought, proprietors or kinsmen -of the soil, and burgesses, “simple persons,” -swelled the amount to not fewer than two -thousand persons, who had to pass in wonderful -procession before the wondering king. When it -was considered, that the whole of this mighty -and motley squad, charged with addresses to the -number of nearly a hundred, each more loyal -and laboured than another, had to pass muster, -and read, and retire, in the space of one brief -hour, it was apparent that the official men of -Scotland would have to dance about and deliver -themselves with somewhat more of alacrity, and -somewhat less of that slow profundity of bowing -than is usually the case. Dreading that the addresses, -from the importance of their contents, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span> -the orthoëpal powers of the readers, would of -themselves have consumed more than a day, it was -wisely resolved, that the persons who were charged -with them should continue enceinte of them till the -Monday, upon which day they should be allowed -to deliver themselves before the throne, or behind -it in the closet, according to their several conditions -and importance; and thus the mighty tide of the -levee was undisturbed by any prosing from parchment, -and undisconcerted by any uncouthness of -provincial speech. The muster of beast-drawn vehicles -was tremendous; and, though the magisterial -equipages were reduced in their number of -cattle, those which they contained never looked so -big in their lives as when they were in progress to -the levee, or so little as when they were fairly -there. A grievous mishap befel their worships -the under-magistrates of Glasgow: The ruler of that -city, who never bought or sold any thing less than -a bale of cotton or a basket of figs, could not be -expected to ride in the same carriage with the -bailies, many of whom were fain to vend a sixpenny -handkerchief, or an ounce of caraway seeds; -so two carriages were prepared, the foremost for -his lordship, and the hindermost for their not-lordships. -The provost entered his state-coach, -and both carriages simultaneously sought their -places in the line of procession; the line threaded -its way to the Holyrood; the provost alighted with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span> -true magisterial dignity, and the door was opened -to let the bailie train come forth of their wagon. -They had vanished! “Whare are my bailie bodies?” -exclaimed the provost; “I knew they were -taking a bit bowl to keep their hearts aboon; but -I didna reckon on their gettin’ fou upon sic an -occasion as this!” His lordship, however, was instantly -relieved by a dozen of chairmen, hurrying -across the area, while a well-known voice was -bawling from each chair, “Whare’s the right and -honourable lord provost o’ the wast?” It would -be endless to recount all the little accidents of this -nature that rippled the swelling waves of official -joy; but it would be unjust not to mention the wig -and staff of Dundee’s principal and vice. The -wig of the principal which, ungainly as it was, -was the most wise-looking thing about him, had -been put under the curling irons before day-break, -and thus was burned and cauterized to the lining -in sundry places. These had been skilfully repaired -with court plaster of the most glossy black; -and thus, in reply to sundry pityings of the lacerated -head of the burgh, the official man was -forced to make it known, that he was of peace-seeking -disposition, and, instead of a broken head, -had only got a burned wig. The staff of the vice -was a matter yet more serious. It had a diamond -head, and the wearer, when at home, contrived to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span> -poke it under his left arm so skilfully, that it shone -by all the world like the star of the order of the -golden calf, at the button-hole of some foreign -knight. The worshipful gentleman never dreamt -that he would be prevented from bearing this -splendid and symbolic staff into the presence of the -King, and thus, in as far as stars were concerned, -vying in magnitude with the Monarch himself; -but he was sadly disappointed, had to leave the -sacred cudgel in charge of the cook at Mackay’s -Hotel, and thus grope his way to the royal presence -as grim as a dark lantern.</p> - -<p>Nothing could exceed in breadth of humour, -the countenances of many of Scotland’s important -sons, as they came, with eyes and mouth set wide -to worship and to wonder, into the presence-chamber. -Not a few of them, when they raised -their “leaden eyes that loved the ground,” in -lack-lustre astonishment, from the drab-coloured -drugget which had been nailed down by Mr. Trotter -as fit carpeting for their feet, beheld more -kings than were exhibited to Banquo in the wizard -glass. As is not unfrequent with men whose wits -are neither great, nor altogether at home, not a few -of them mistook the right one; and the portly Sir -William Curtis, who was “dressed in tartan -sheen,” with a kilt marvellously scant in its longitude, -and dangling a bonnet, in which was displayed<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span> -a grey goose feather of the largest size, took -the edge off the loyalty of a full third; while his -great grace of Montrose, who was drudging at the -honours of the day, monopolized another, leaving -only thirty-three and one-third per cent. of the -loyalty of Scotland to be inflicted directly upon -the King. It is needless to tell how brief were the -salutations: there were two thousand persons who -had to make their entrée, their bow, and their exit, -in about a hundred minutes, which was, as nearly -as possible, one second to each act of each person; -and thus, however discordant might be the bearing -of the different <i>bodies</i>, the unity of time was admirably -preserved. The ceremony came upon them -like an electric shock, or rather they came upon it -as moths come upon the flame of a candle,—a buz, -a singe of the wings, and down they dropt into -insignificance. “Hech, Sirs!” said a brawny -yeoman from the kingdom of Fife, as he attempted -in vain to squeeze his minimum of opera hat upon -his maximum of skull,—“Hech, Sirs! but its -quick wark this! We might hae gotten a snuff wi’ -him at ony rate;” and, as he strode across the -court, and found himself fairly without the great -gate, he fumbled over his head-piece with his paws, -saying, “I’m thankfu’ that it’s upo’ my shouthers -after a’!” Those who attended the civic authorities, -who stuck to each other as closely as if<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span> -they had been in their council-chambers at home, -wore faces of the most broad and boundless delight; -for, of the men of more ample calibre, the -tories looked blank, because they were elbowed -and perhaps outnumbered by the whigs in the presence -of the King. Some of the clods of the valley -lost themselves in the long galleries and cold corridors -of the Holyrood; and, after all was over, -and the fatigued Monarch had retired to Dalkeith, -a few of them were heard at the windows bawling, -like Sterne’s Starling, “I can’t get out.” So -ended the levee; and the King and the people -rested for the sabbath without any thing of remarkable -occurrence.</p> - -<p>On Monday the hearts of the address men were -lifted higher than ever; and, as the rapid and -dumb show in which they passed before the King -on Saturday, had taken off the first and deepest -blush of their bashfulness, they went to the court -in very masterly style: foremost, were a hundred -ministers of the Scotch kirk, supported by about -fifty ruling elders of the same; who, having met -in solemn conclave in the Canon-gate church, said -to be the most composing and soporific in all Edinburgh, -they moved “dark as locusts o’er the land -of Nile” across the sanctuary, not of churchmen -but of insolvent debtors, approached the presence, -bowed themselves with more than priestly reverence,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span> -and, by the mouth of David Lamont, D.D., -their moderator, poured the honey and the oil of -their adulation into the royal ear. Spirit of John -Knox, wert thou then on the watch! and didst -thou mark the silken cords in which thy degenerate -sons were drawn to bend the knee before an earthly -Monarch! Yes, how wouldst thou have exclaimed -that the gold of the zeal of thy church had become -dim, and the fine gold of its independence had -changed, if thou hadst heard thy backsliding children -tempering their temporizing address with the -miry clay of earthly politics, calling the King -“the bulwark of the church,” and promising to -labour, not for the conversion of sinners, or for -the glory of Him whom thou didst account the only -Head of the church, but “to impress upon the -people committed to their care, a high sense of the -invaluable blessings of the glorious and happy constitution?” -But, boldest spirit of the reformation, -be not offended,—Think on the difference of the -times. The times in which your earthly lot was -cast, were times of wrestling and of reformation,—they -required the heart of steel, the eye that turns -not aside, and the hand which is never slackened; -but the lines of thy followers have fallen in pleasant -places, they have become full of the fatness of the -earth, and therefore they recline at their ease under -the refreshing shadow of temporal power.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span></p> - -<p>After the Scottish kirk, came, laden with wisdom, -the members of the four Scottish universities; -and this having been done, the remaining individuals -and classes of men who were charged with -courtly sayings, disburthened themselves in the -closet behind the throne; and the paper thus accumulated, -having been deposited for use, this act -of the drama closed, leaving less upon the memory -than had been anticipated.</p> - -<p>The monarch having thus opened a levee for -the honour of his Scottish subjects generally, and -allowed her official men to drop their honeyed papers -and parchments at the court and in the closet,—having -devoted two whole days to the hard hands -of country lairds, and the greasy lips of parsons -and bailies, it was naturally to be concluded, that -he would be pretty well saturated of salutation -from the men of Scotland, and long for the approach -of Scottish women, as the traveller, in the -sandy desert, longs for the green spot and the -glassy spring. Nor could the desire have been -wholly confined to his majesty. The anxiety of -the Scottish fair was bent, like the bow of Diana -when the arrow is drawn to the barbs; their -preparations, positive and negative, for this -high honour, had been long, laborious and self-denying; -and they were not without feeling that -four whole days should not have interposed their<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span> -twelve-month-looking-lengths between the sight and -salutation of their King. It is true, that in Scotland -generally, and in the Athens in particular, -woman, that grand barometer of civilization, has of -late risen many degrees. The time has not long -gone by, at which females were mere beasts of -burden in rural affairs, and young girls were in -many places obliged to ply as ferry-boats. I myself -have seen half a score of stout and sinewy -Highlanders lying snuffing upon a hillock of manure, -while their wives and daughters were bearing -heavy baskets of the same to the fields, while all -that the lords of the creation condescended to do -was to fill the baskets; and I have been—no, I -have not been, I was only offered to be—carried -across sundry Highland rivers, upon the shoulders -of the fairest nymphs which adorned their banks. -But the Athens has got the better of all this, and -her daughters have not only reduced the tyranny -of their husbands to “flytings” and frailties, but -have learned to pay them back with interest even -in these. Thus the delay which had taken place in -consequence of the grand parade of the men, and -the small extra drill of the official men, by no -means tended to lessen the commodity of curtain-lectures. -There were other causes of vexation: -the means by which a sufficiency of beauty had -been procured were more precious than permanent;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span> -the delay of hope not only made the heart sick, but -tended to pucker the skin, and, what was more -vexatious than all, these careful dames, after they -had trimmed themselves for the royal salute, would -submit themselves to the salutation of no mere -man in the interim. Wherefore, if any casualty -had prevented this glorious feast, or even protracted -it, the <i>primum mobile</i> of the city might -have stood still, and the Athens might have been -the Athens no more.</p> - -<p>It being the only time during a century and a -half, at the least, when the daughters of Scotia -have had the flattering opportunity of flaunting -their trains, flourishing their plumes, bowing in the -presence of Majesty, and, finally, giving their -cheeks to the glory and honour of the royal basial -salutation,—and certainly the only time when a -native royal drawing-room has been held in Scotland, -since she had either much wealth or population -to display,—it is not to be wondered at, that it -produced corresponding anxiety among the fair. -A random female here and there may, no doubt, -have been in the royal presence, and there may be -one or two cheeks which have before been made -happy by the royal impress; but the greater, by -far the greater part of the roses and lilies of Scotland -were, up to this happy 21st of August, 1822, -in virgin, but pitiable, ignorance of so much honour.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span> -It is not to be wondered at, then, that the preparations -of this eventful day had their sources remote -in the past, and the hopes of the fair ones groped -their way far into the future; and if they had not -made themselves gay upon the occasion, it would -have been alien alike to the honour of their country -and the disposition of the sex. Morning, noon, -and night, had accordingly been spent at the -mirror, and many a projection has been squeezed, -and furrow smoothed, in order that for “Scotland’s -glory,” and their own, they might appear as -splendid, as gay, and as bewitching as possible, in -the presence of their King and his nobles, and their -own admirers. All this was most laudable; and as -the fair ones, with their eyes, their candles, and -their mirrors, literally frightened the reign of “old -Night,” they merited forgiveness though they encouraged -a little of that of “Chaos.”</p> - -<p>So much of the fire of Scotland’s moral electricity, -moving in such prime conductors, could -not be supposed to confine either itself or its effects -to the earth. Ere grey dawn, the sky wept at -the eclipse of so many of its moons and stars by -the radiance of the Venuses and Lunas of the -Athens rising to their culmination; and, as it had -not recovered in the morning, there was somewhat -of pains-taking and pouting ere the coaches and -chairs could receive the whole of their delectable<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span> -burthens. Still, however, the ceremony was one -which could not be put off, and so the ocean-swell -of beauty collected, and nathless the drizzling rain, -poured its eager tide toward the palace. When -they arrived at the entrée-room, some of the colloquies -which they held with each other were not -a little amusing. If I could judge from the general -strain of what I heard of them, the kiss—the -downright and <i>bona fide</i> smack at royalty, without -any of the leaven even of suspicion in it, was the -thing which pleased them the most. Each was -making sure too, (for there is a wonderful foresight -in the women of Scotland as well as in the men,) -that the jealousy which this high honour would -excite, would procure a goodly harvest of future -salutation. Some female Humes (not in name -but in nature,) were propounding “sceptical -doubts” upon the subject; and stating, with tears -in their eyes, and terror on their brows, their apprehension, -that it would be “but a sham -after a’.”</p> - -<p>One great object with the Caledonian fair seemed -to be to prevent, as much as they could, the possibility -of the ceremony’s being bungled, through -the youth or inexperience of those who were to -apply it. It had indeed been rumoured that the -King hated all lips but such as had been mellowed -by the suns, and mollified by the frosts, of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span> -forty seasons, and that young girls, as smelling of -bread and butter, were peculiarly offensive to the -royal organs; whereupon it was said, that the -young maidens of Scotland were enjoined to abstain -from the ceremony altogether, and that the -full grown ones abstained from bread and butter -during the whole period of their drill.</p> - -<p>In consequence, while there never was a royal -drawing-room so fresh and new in the dresses and -ignorance of the fair attendants, there never perhaps -was one in which the appearance of those -attendants themselves was more sage and matured. -Every lonely tower, in a remote glen, around whose -grey battlements the hollow wind had whistled, -“Nobody coming to marry me,” for more returnings -of the falling leaf than it would be seemly to -mention, poured forth its tall and time-learned -damsels,—erewhile as grey as its walls, but now -as green as the lichen with which they are incrusted, -and as gorgeous as the sun whose beams -find out the old tower the more easily, and gild -them the more copiously, in proportion to the -leaflessness of all around. With those mingled -the dowagers and despairers of George’s Square, -upon the thresholds of whose doors, and the graves -of whose hopes, the grass had for more than moons -waxed green apace. Nor were there wanting a few -of somewhat more juvenile an aspect; abundance<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span> -of manœuvring dames, who had exposed the -precious wares of their own manufacture at all the -marts and bazaars in the island; with other languishing -and loving ladies whose number it were -difficult to count.</p> - -<p>But, in their zeal to suit the royal taste in the -maturity of the greater part of the muster, they -had rather overshot the mark. If the tale of that -taste says sooth, the word “forty,” which is to be -found in every country, and which, in single dignity -and desire, is found more abundantly in Scotland, -and especially in the Athens, than in any -country, is preceded by the words “fat and fair,” -which, in that land, and pre-eminently in that city, -are among the <i>desiderata</i>. Hence, there perchance -was never collected before a pair of royal eyes so -many tall, gaunt, and ungainly figures, and never -offered to the salutation of a pair of royal lips, so -many sunken and sinewy cheeks. In their costumes, -they were uncommonly splendid: sweeping -trains of white satin, over spangled robes of various -fancies, (in nowise emblematical of “white without -and spotted within,”) were the predominant -costumes; and, in number and in magnitude, the -plumes of feathers which waved and nodded above, -might have furnished all the beds, bolsters, and -pillows, to the court of Og, the giant king of Bashan. -In the dresses, too, there were all the advantage<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span> -of contrast with the wearers: the one were -as fresh and as new as the others were furrowed -and old. And this did not escape the discriminating -eye of the King, who, though he prudently -abstained from all commendation on the score of -beauty, was copious on that of cleanliness.</p> - -<p>In their previous estimate of the royal taste, they -had not calculated with their usual wisdom. To -the more sage and skinny dames, the appulse was so -slight and so brief, that before the agitation was -over, the impression was gone; and, of the whole -that attended, only one little and lovely girl could -boast of a palpable and positive kiss.</p> - -<p>I could not help being struck with the extreme -solemnity of the whole. There was none of that -jaunty lightness of step, and that soft and flexible -twining of body, which I have remarked on similar -occasions in other places. The whole moved on, -solemn and erect, as though it had been the Scotch -Greys approaching to a charge, or the Forty-second -to a crossing of bayonets. Their features expressed -intelligence in many instances, and pride -in all, but I saw not such that I could call beauty. -Their looks were highly characteristic: they were -staid even to demureness, and they sailed toward -the state apartment without a single movement of -the eyes, or any thing which could be called a -smile upon the countenance. Never perhaps did<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span> -so great and so mingled an assembly of females display -so much modesty,—modesty too which was -not the modesty of subdued fire, but that of coal -which seemed capable of resisting all powers of -ignition. In the elder ones, the mouth had a -character which no one could overlook: the days -of labour which had been spent in giving plumpness -to the lip were, in a great measure, rendered -unavailing, by the force with which the corners of -the mouth were drawn back, and the firmness with -which its thread-like furnishings were brought together. -It seemed indeed that they had been -anxious to bring as much of this commodity to the -solemnity, and set it apart as exclusively as possible -for the use of their sovereign; for, fearful of -deficiency in plumpness and breadth, they had -laboured to make up for it in an extension of -length; and two deep and decided curves, hedged -it in, as though for the time it had been parenthetical,—set -apart to the service of the King, and fortified -by fosse and rampart against all the rest of -the world.</p> - -<p>The space which could be allotted to each for -the doing of a salutation was excessively brief; and -what with the solemnity of the ladies, and the -scowling of the heavens, it had more the air of a -funeral procession than of a festive assembly. -When it was over, or perhaps a little before, the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span> -daughters of Caledonia found out, that though -they could be gorgeous at a drawing-room, they -could not be gay. They did not indeed look like -“fishes out of the water;” but they looked like -fishes that had never been in it. It was so novel in -itself, and they had so exhausted themselves in the -preparation, that the parade itself was gloomy; -and though it furnished abundant evidence of the -existence of high talents and higher pride among -them, it also afforded proof that time and change -would neither be idle nor in haste, if they were to -be thoroughly prepared for gliding and glittering -at court.</p> - -<p>Themselves and their male relatives seemed indeed -to have been aware of this,—to have known -that there was another and more appropriate arena -for the displaying of them to advantage; and, -though it had not been set forth in the gazette, -I could have discovered, from the looks of speculation -that were quietly exchanged in the proximity, -and even in the presence of majesty, that there -would be a chapter of the Highland fling. Those -tender telegraphings were as new to me as any part -of the proceedings; and they led me to observe the -unique and characteristic nature of a modern -Athenian ogle.</p> - -<p>The Athenian damsels, or dames, as it happens, -cannot have so many of the soft propensities of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span> -flesh as their more plump neighbours of the south, -not having so much flesh wherein the same may be -contained; but, from all that I could discover, -they have not, upon the whole, less of the <i>mater -amoris</i> in them; and being a more firm and substantial -matter—more “bred in the bones” as it -were, it is perchance more deep and more durable. -Thus, while the dimple of an English cheek -tells its soft tale of love, the jutting angle of an -Athenian cheek-bone hints at the same; and there -is often more amatory demonstration in a single -Caledonian wrinkle, than in all the blushes of the -most blooming dame southward of the Tweed. -The extreme vigilance, too, with which the ladies -of the Athens watch each other, and especially the -cat-like lurkings which the plain and decaying have -for those who have more of the species and are -more in the season of bloom, gives a wariness to -the character of every woman within that metropolis, -and makes even the most accredited and -creditable love an affair of mystery and intrigue. -If a gentleman is detected walking with or speaking -civilly to one lady, eyes, from loop-holes of -which he dreams not, are instantly upon him, and -the affair is handed about from coterie to coterie, -as a marriage, or as something worse; while, if he -is seen with two or more, he is a Don Juan of the -first magnitude, and they, “poor dear lost things,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span> -are—very much to be pitied indeed.” So far as I -know, they have no tendency to pity themselves in -such cases; but this may be the very reason why -they have so much of it to spare to their neighbours.</p> - -<p>This propensity could not be restrained even by -the counter-excitation of the royal presence; and -while everybody upon whom the King was pleased -to smile at the shows (and he was graciously pleased -to smile upon a great number) was <i>pitied</i>, or, as -it might have been, <i>envied</i>, as the object of regal -flirtation, those blowsy country sisters and cousins, -whom awkward accountants and spruce scribes kept -lumbering along the streets upon the resting days, -were, in the bitterness of the Athenian anguish, -set down as spouses soon to be.</p> - -<p>A handsome young gentleman from the south, -whose form promised love, and whose appearance -bespoke the wherewithal to support it, had brought -down his mother and three sisters to amuse themselves, -and see the sights. The matron, though -her family were come to what are in the Athens -termed the “years of discretion,” has still as much -bloom as half a score of the six-flight-of-stairs -virginity of that city; and, it so happened, that -there was no family resemblance either in form or -features among the young people. The gentleman -appeared at one place with his mother, at another<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span> -place with one or other of his sisters, sometimes -with two, and sometimes with the whole; and the -quantity of speculation, and wonder, and pity, and -lamentation, which his so appearing excited, would -have drained the tears, and exhausted the words of -fifty Jeremiahs.</p> - -<p>All those circumstances are enough, and more -than enough, to impose upon the amatory signals -of the Athenians a closeness and caution, of which -those who live in a more free and liberal state of -society can form no conception; and while they -thus force the people to put on the semblance of -intrigue where there is no necessity for it, they at -the same time forward the reality of intrigue in -cases of which perhaps scarcely another people -would dream; and thus, in consequence of the very -rigour of the external laws of decorum, the Athenians -are, perchance, in fact and in secret, the -most indecorous in the whole island of Great Britain,—the -which would lead one fond of scandal -and of similies to conclude, that the white trains -and the spangled robes were not chosen in vain; -but I am a novice in both, and therefore I shall say -nothing about the matter.</p> - -<p>The exhibition of faces and forms, and the actual -contact with royalty, not being sufficient either to -show off or to satisfy the ladies of Scotland, they -resolved to make the general attack upon the King<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span> -with their heels; and, as the Athens contained no -hall ample enough for showing off the whole at -once, and further, as the same parties might be -shown off twice under different appellations, once -as the planets of the peerage, and again as the -comets of Caledonia, the assembly rooms in George -Street were destined to be twice trodden by the -same feet, in the two enactings of the Peers’ ball, -and the Caledonian ball. These were not consecutive; -but it will be no great anachronism to -bring them together.</p> - -<p>The Peers’ ball took place in the assembly rooms, -on the evening of Friday the 23d of August; and, -as there the people were more at home, and more -employed than in the merely state ceremonies, its -effect was at once more pleasing and more characteristic.</p> - -<p>The portico of the rooms was tastefully illuminated, -the columns being wreathed, and the pediments -outlined, with golden-tinted lamps,—the -emblems of royalty shining in the centre. The -pillars in the ante-room were twined with flowers, -surmounted by emblematical tablets, over which -the dome glowed with coloured lights. The principal -room, tea-room, and refectory, were very -handsome: the first had a platform and throne, -covered with crimson; the second was ornamented -with paintings, in water-colour; and the third was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span> -well stored with viands. The whole was simple, -but there was an air of freshness, neatness, and -good taste about it. At rather an early hour, say -eight o’clock, the elegantes began to pour in, and -the people to throng to the adjoining street, in -order to catch a glimpse of their fair forms and -nodding plumes. By nine o’clock, the rooms were -completely filled, and the downy feathers which -now reeled to and fro in mid air, with the mingling -darker lines of the other sex, and the sheen of -tartan and gold lace, and ribbon, and star, and -spangle, waved “like wave with crest of sparkling -foam.” If Scotland had honour from the general -appearance and conduct of the people upon -this occasion, she had glory in her daughters. -If they had not the light heart and laughing eye -of the daughters of the south, they were fully equal -to them in dignity and intellectual beauty. Their -dresses were elegant rather than splendid, and their -movements had perhaps as much of stateliness as -of grace. The sustained and chastened joy which -they all displayed, and the keen glance of intellect -and national pride, which mingled with their mirth, -threw an interest over it, which is unknown in lands -of lighter skies, and warmer suns. The noblemen -and gentlemen were in every variety of dress (meaning, -of course, every elegant variety). The duke of -Hamilton was splendidly attired in the Douglas<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span> -tartan. And <i>Mac Cailin Mhor</i> was most conspicuous -in the broad bands of the <i>Sliabh nan -Diarmid</i>. The chiefs, too, were in their various -tartans; but Sir William appeared in a plain court -suit, abandoning the applying of “the kelt aërial -to his Anglian thighs,” with as much care as he -would watch not to let “lignarian chalice, filled -with oats, his orifice approach.” His majesty came -at half after nine, just when the rooms were in the -height of their splendour. He was greeted with a -cheer by the people outside, and most respectfully -received by those within. He remained about an -hour, and then retired. Immediately after his -departure, the company passed to the supper-room -by sections, but without any distinction of -rank.</p> - -<p>I detail not the dancing, of which, by the way, -there was much less than of promenading; but, in -general, they were national enough, to “eschew -both waltz and quadrille, and addict themselves to -the good old orthodox fling.” In this their favourite -and characteristic movement, they showed -equal firmness of foot and flexture of limb; and -though the room thinned a little upon his majesty’s -departure, the evolutions were continued till full -three hours beyond the “keystane o’ night’s black -arch,” and thus, according to every canon of -witchery, the charms of the ladies were overpowering<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span> -and triumphant. Notwithstanding the great -concourse of people, and the closeness with which -they were wedged together, there was no confusion; -and though a guard of cavalry was in readiness, -it was not in the slightest degree required.</p> - -<p>The Caledonian Hunt ball, which followed some -evenings afterwards, had little of novelty in it, -further than that the hunters were habited in a -new uniform of royal invention; and that a sort of -cage of brass wire permitted the whole wondering -and waltzing charms of Scotland to view the King; -and at the same time prevented them from pressing -upon him with that ardent closeness which had -oppressed and overheated the royal person upon -the former occasion. This ball closed what may -be considered as the exhibition of the King to the -people of Scotland generally; and with it, I shall -close this long Section.</p> - -<p class="pc1 reduct">THE PILGRIMAGE, THE FEAST, THE CHURCHING, -AND THE THEATRE.</p> - -<p class="pp6">“March! march! pinks of election.”—<span class="smcap">Old Song.</span><br /> -“Now the King drinks to Hamlet.”—<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span><br /> -“The sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with.”—<span class="smcap">Isaiah.</span></p> -<p class="pp9">——“The play’s the thing</p> -<p class="pp6">Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the King.”—</p> -<p class="pr4 reduct"><span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p> - -<p class="pn1">In the preceding Sections of this Chapter, I have -given a skeleton of all those acts of the royal<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span> -drama, in which the whole people of Scotland -were supposed to take a part, and in which the -Athens had no farther peculiar concern than as her -locality furnished the scene, and the pride of her -leading men (and women) thrust them forward -among the actors. In this Section I shall have to -notice those doings of which I have just cited the -titles, and which may be considered as more particularly -expressing the spirit, or, if you will, displaying -the form of the Athens herself. In treating -of these, I shall be able to be more brief, not -because they ought to be considered as at all inferior -in interest, but because, under other forms -and titles, they will have again to come under -review.</p> - -<p>The pilgrimage from the Holyrood to the castle, -and by Princes Street back to the Holyrood, -seemed, to judge from the state of the weather, to -be peculiarly alarming or offensive to the “prince -of the power of the air,” as well as to the monarch -of the British isles. In all the former doings there -had been something beyond the mere parading -in the street. The procession from Leith was a -matter of necessity, and furthermore it was exceedingly -novel and interesting in itself; the levee, the -court, and the drawing-room, were part of the -usual machinery of the state; the court before the -throne, and the closet behind, for the receipt of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span> -addresses, “according to their generations,” were -what the addressing parties could not have been -happy without, and though these had been disappointed -of the honours and rewards which they -had fondly expected would result at the time, yet -they fondly hoped that they had “done a do” -which would lead to great things in the sequel; -and even the dances had brought folks together, -and might also have their fruits thereafter; but -that the King should be drawn along the whole -length of the Cannon-gate and High Street, work -his way through the ugly gates and awkward passages -to the half-moon battery of the castle, then -pull off his hat, give three cheers in concert with -the bawlings of the crowd, and then go back to -Holyrood by a more circuitous route, was so profound -a piece of wisdom,—so much a masterstroke -of the good taste of the Great Unknown, -and the sage politics of the Athenian tories, as to -be by much too deep even for royal comprehension. -It seemed too, that none of those counsellors which -the King had taken with him from England could -fathom its profundity. Sir William Curtis indeed -pleaded the lord mayor of London’s pilgrimages -to Kew and Rochester Bridge, as being precedents -exactly in point; but those who knew the etiquette -of courts better, scouted all precedents which could -originate within Temple Bar,—partly, because they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span> -originate with those who arrogate to themselves -the power of closing that gaping portal against the -King, and, partly, because nothing possessed in -the city is at all acceptable but its money. The -King himself scouted the pilgrimage as a piece of -idle foolery: declared, that he had seen the assembled -people in his progress to the palace; that he -had received the noblemen, gentlemen, official -men, and addressing men, at levees and courts; -that he had sustained a general attack of the ladies -at the drawing-room, and sundry particular attacks -at the dances; and that, if his Scottish subjects -were not yet satisfied with gazing at him, he would -hold other levees and other drawing-rooms, till the -humblest boors, burghers, and baillies, with their -wives, should pass muster before him, provided it -were done as a King ought to do such things, in -his state apartments at Holyrood; but, that to -have him shown along the streets, as they would -show an elephant or a prize ox, would be a degradation -both to himself and his subjects. Having, -as was said, expressed himself thus, he sped away -for Dalkeith with even more than wonted alacrity, -wishing that he could be permitted to spend his -days in a way somewhat more agreeable to good -sense and his own inclinations.</p> - -<p>The pilgrimage had, however, been resolved on, -and those bodies which it was judged expedient<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span> -that the King should wonder at, in their collective -capacities, had clubbed their half-guineas, and -erected their booths along the whole line of the -High Street; and as all this had been done without -consulting the King, it was resolved to <i>boo</i> and -beseech him into compliance. The King, who had -previously known the persevering nature of the -political “seekers” of the Athens, judged that the -easiest way would be to comply with their request, -although, during the whole pilgrimage, I thought -he appeared to feel that what his politeness had -made him content to do, could add nothing to his -kingly dignity.</p> - -<p>By this time I had become so little apprehensive -of arrowless bows, and dirks never intended to be -unsheathed, and so much accustomed to tartans -and tails, that I pushed myself into the very centre -of the procession; and as there was nothing better -I could do, I contrived, by putting a bold face -upon it, and huzzaing, as well to demonstrate my -loyalty as to keep myself warm in the rain, to proceed -to the rampart of the half-moon battery, close -by the side of the King.</p> - -<p>As this was the occasion upon which the <i>people</i> -of the Athens were to make their nearest approach -to their Sovereign, the preparations for it were correspondingly -general. Notwithstanding the unpropitiousness -of the morning, the streets, booths,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span> -windows, and house-tops, were thronged at an -early hour. The members of all the trades, corporations, -and friendly societies, came pressing to -the line of the progression by about eleven, and -formed a double line for the progress, each well-dressed, -and armed with a white wand; behind -them, in varied phalanx, was that part of the <i>posse -comitatus</i> which could not afford to pay for windows -or seats, and here and there stood a special -constable, or Fifeshire yeoman, mounted. Outside, -the ten-storied houses of the High Street were -tapestried with human faces; and to prevent disturbance, -all the cross-streets were filled by cavalry. -About one, the procession began to form in the -area of Holyrood, and the progress commenced a -little after two. The procession was formed of -nearly the same individuals who composed that on -the King’s landing, and they held nearly the same -places. There was one addition, however, which -excited a good deal of interest: the ancient regalia -of Scotland, the <i>crown</i>, said to have been made for -the Bruce and thus doubly dear as a national relic, -and the sceptre and sword of state. The regalia -were borne immediately in front of the royal carriage. -First, the sword of state, borne by the -Earl of Morton, in lord-lieutenant’s uniform; then -the Sceptre, by the Hon. John Morton Stuart, second -son to the Earl of Moray; and last, the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span> -crown, by the Duke of Hamilton, in right of the -Earldom of Angus.</p> - -<p>During the whole progress along the High-Street -it rained, and thus the spectacle was a good -deal injured; but still, the immense crowd of people, -their orderly conduct, their happy faces, the -immense height at which some of them were posted, -the gorgeous array of the cavalcade, and, as much -as any thing, the antique grandeur of the street, -had a fine effect. The King was every where -greeted by shoutings, not loud, but sustained; and -he conducted himself with dignity. Next to the -King, the object of attention was the Duke of -Hamilton, who was cheered along the whole line, -partly on his own account, and partly from his -carrying the ancient symbol of Scottish independence. -It was well that the first time that symbol -was borne publicly in the streets of the Scottish -capital, after having been missing for a century, -should have been in the hands of a nobleman who -feels for, and supports the remnant of that independence. -The robes of the Lord Lyon were so -fine, and his coronet so showy, that he was by -many of the people mistaken for the King; nor -did the beautiful black barb which bore the Knight -Mareschal want his due share of admiration.</p> - -<p>Upon the King’s leaving the Cannon-gate, and -passing the building where, in English, in Latin,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span> -and in Greek, is recorded the escape of John Knox -from assassination, several buxom and well-dressed -damsels scattered flowers in the street, the music in -the mean time playing the King’s Anthem. The -Tron-kirk and St. Giles’ successively tingled their -bells, and every thing demonstrated the satisfaction -of the people. The <i>bodies</i> which had their -booths about St. Giles’ now did reverence, and -lifted their voices just as his Majesty was passing -over the spot which long groaned beneath the -mass of the Heart of Mid-Lothian. When the -King had arrived at the Castle-Hill, the procession -turned aside, and he passed between the assembled -<i>counties</i>, who were very fervent in their demonstrations -of joy. He alighted on a platform covered -with crimson, received the keys from the Governor, -returned them, walked over the draw-bridge with a -few of his train, was received there by the grenadiers -of the 66th, entered his carriage, (all his attendants -on foot,) and drove to the Half-Moon -battery, where, from a platform erected for the -occasion, it was hoped that he would have enjoyed -a <i>coup-d’œil</i> of the whole loyalty and beauty of -Edinburgh.</p> - -<p>The day, however, was very unfavourable, a fog -shrouded the city, and it rained heavily; still, the -King stood up, waved his hat, and spoke to the -people, while the cannon from the lower batteries<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span> -of the Castle, and from the Calton-Hill, and Salisbury -Craggs, told the news. Dark as was the -scene, it was most sublime. Through one opening -of the clouds, one could catch a glimpse of Arthur’s -Seat; through another, the smoke of a cannon -from the Craggs, and through a third, some -tower or turret of the city. Among these, by -the way, the finest is the monument erected in -St. Andrew’s-Square, to the late Lord Melville. -It is a fluted Doric column, with a rich base and -capital, and most appropriately surmounted by a -bee-hive, in testimony, doubtless, of the countless -friends and relatives for whom the noble lord had -the means of providing. When the King had -escaped from the pleasure of this inspection, he -filed off for Dalkeith-House, and the <i>pecus</i>, who -had been ducked and delighted, retired to evaporate -the external moisture by moisture within. -The <i>plebs</i> of different places have different modes -of expressing their joy or their grief; those of the -Athens, whatever be their rank or denomination, -and whether in weal or in woe, close the most -social as well as the most sad of their exhibitions, -by pouring out a drink-offering, and pouring it out -abundantly.</p> - -<p>I must now say something of that act of the -royal drama in which the official and loyal men of -Scotland gave, before the King, ocular demonstration<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span> -of how substantially they could eat, and how -copiously they could drink. Eating and drinking -are, in all civilized countries, and more especially, -perhaps, in the British dominions, so closely allied -with loyalty, that the bason and the bowl would -perhaps be its most appropriate symbols. Corporations -have ever been pre-eminent for those demonstrations -of support to the throne; and as the -Athenian corporation is pre-eminent among corporations -in the northern part of this island, so the -feastings of that corporation have ever been the -fullest and the fattest.</p> - -<p>A feast of the corporation of the Athens is a -thing altogether different from a feast of the corporation -of London. In both places it is, no -doubt, more sentient than sentimental; and the -belly must be put to sleep ere the soul be awakened -to heroic deeds; but a feast of the corporation of -London is, notwithstanding all its abundance, a -merely plebeian thing,—it emanates from the people, -is partaken of by the people, and if royal or -courtly persons be there, they are in the humble -attitude of guests. It is a matter, in short, not -only different from, but in opposition to, those -cold collations which obtain in the kingly circles; -and it is calculated to inspire the people more -with sentiments of independence, and a consciousness -of their own worth, than with that bowing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span> -down of the honour for the sake of rising in office, -and that beggaring of the heart for the sake of -filling the purse with the gains of office, which invariably -accompany banquets of exclusive loyalty. -The feastings of the Athenian corporation, on the -other hand, are feastings which the people do not -originate, and of which they are not allowed to -partake. They are of two kinds,—which may be -distinguished as well as characterized by the two -epithets of “dinners of the flagon,” and “dinners -of the scrip;” the former having reference to -nothing else than the filling of the belly, the latter -having an ultimate view to the replenishing of the -purse. The feast of the flagon is by much the more -ancient; it is characteristic of the whole genus of -corporation men; and it is because they have a -much greater propensity to feed the flesh than -either to cultivate or to exercise the understanding, -that corporations are every where denominated -<i>bodies</i>,—as much as to say, that though they may -have souls, these are not worth taking into the account. -In ancient times, when kings held their -regular courts in Scotland, and when these eclipsed -all that could be done by the delegated moons of -the Athenian corporation, that corporation had the -same leaning toward the people which other corporations -near the seat of royalty are supposed to -possess, and in those days the feast of the flagon<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span> -was almost the only one known to the corporation -men of the Athens. Now, however, as the royal -household in Scotland has become a mere cipher, -and since the second-hand vessels into which the -delegation of the royal authority has been poured -have become such as not easily to be contaminated -by any association, the feasts of the scrip—a sort of -clubbing of stomachs and of tongues among all the -Attic worthies, have come into use, more and more -in proportion as the times have been more and more -trying and troublesome, and the price of the expression -of loyalty has been enhanced, upon the -ground of its alleged scarcity;—since this has -been the case, a complete separation has taken place -even in the feasts of the flagon, between the corporated -bodies and the uncorporated spirits of the -Athens; and in this the “bodies” have found -ample compensation, in the greater frequency of -their own peculiar gastronomizings, as well as in -the tagging of themselves to the tails of the Lord-President, -the Lord-Advocate, and the Lord knows -who—keeper for the time being of the secret influence -of Scotland,—who at all times form the -tripod upon which the incense-pot of Scottish -loyalty is sustained.</p> - -<p>No better idea of the nature and occasions of -the feasts of the flagon can be given than the well-known -one of the bell-rope of the Tron Kirk.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span> -For many years, a bell, which had been carefully -cracked lest the sound of it should disturb the -official men, whose evening retreats were deeply -buried in the different closes, was tolled at the -tenth hour of every night to warn the populace -from the streets, for fear they should interrupt the -march of that puissant corps of the city-guard, -who paraded the streets after that hour with bandy -legs and battle-axes, to conduct such of the lieges -as could afford to pay for it to any place of amusement -they had a mind to visit. Nightly exercise -had worn the rope by which this bell was put in -motion: it broke one evening, and fell upon the -head of a bailie who was passing, rebounded from -that without doing any damage, but floored an -Athenian damsel who was under his worship’s protection. -This was, of course, not to be borne; -wherefore, a council was summoned, and a feast of -the flagon ordered; and when they had made -themselves happy, they resolved to adjourn till -that day se’nnight, at which time they were to meet -and feast again, and receive estimates as to the -expense of purchasing a new rope and of splicing -the old one. Having dined a second time, they -read the estimates, which were half-a-crown for the -new rope, and eighteen pence for splicing the old. -A matter of so much importance could not be settled -at one meeting of council; wherefore, a second<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span> -adjournment and a third dinner were resolved -upon. After that third dinner, the tavern-bill, -thirty-three pounds, six shillings, and eight pence, -for each of the three dinners, and the two estimates -as aforesaid, were laid upon the table. The treasurer -of the city was ordered first to pay the -tavern-bill, and then to give orders that the old -rope should be spliced, because that would be a -saving of the public revenue, of which as faithful -stewards, they ought to be provident. The feasts -of the scrip, again, are different,—bearing a great -resemblance to those associations of placemen, parsons, -and public stipendiaries, who from time to -time meet all over the country, and spend the price -of a dinner with the same intention, and to the -same effect, that a farmer sprinkles grain in the -furrows of his field,—that in due time it may yield -an abundant increase. During the war, no sooner -was a victory heard of, than away flew those supporters -of the Crown to a tavern, bumpered and -bawled, till their loyalty and every thing else appeared -double, and then trotted off to beg a share -of the honour and emolument. If a tax or a -scarcity pressed sore upon the people, those persons -were at their dining again, partly with a view of -diminishing the quantity of provision that might -fall into the hands of the enemy; partly because -themselves are ever more courageous in their cups;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span> -and partly because a report of their doings at a -dinner would sound much better than a report of -their doings any where else.</p> - -<p>Men who had thus from time immemorial rested -not only their civic and their political importance, -but almost their civic and political existence, upon -their capacity for dining, in whom it was most -likely the greatest wisdom to do so, could not be -expected to let his Majesty eat his venison and -drink his <i>Glenlivet</i> (which unfortunately had been -both furnished by a Whig) at his ease in Dalkeith-House, -but would needs have him see with his own -eyes with what zeal they could cut into a buttock -of beef, and with what alacrity they could drain a -goblet of wine, for the glory and the establishment of -his throne. Accordingly, as the following Sunday -would be a day of rest, the civic and other authorities -in the Athens resolved that a feast of fat -things should be furnished forth in the great hall -of the Athenian Parliament House, upon Saturday -the 24th of August. In preparing the hall for -this occasion, not only had the whole of the Athens -been spoiled of its decorations, but they had been -forced to borrow largely at all the loyal houses in -the vicinity. And as it was in old times the custom -for every guest at the humbler Scottish parties -to be provided with his own spoon, his own knife, -and his own pair of five-pronged forks, so upon the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span> -present occasion it might be said, that each noble -or loyal visiter lent his ice-pail or his pepper-box. -This hall, which is as it were the vital principle of -the Athens, the place where the tongues of all her -speakers are loosed, the pockets of all her quibblers -filled, the curiosity of all her gossips gratified, and -the eyes and wishes of all her fair directed—was made -more gay than ordinary for the occasion; and in the -selection of guests, so far as that could be controlled, -care was taken that none should be present who -could in any wise eclipse in wisdom, or in elegance, -the loyal lords of Scotland and of the Athens. -Feasting, however motley and contrasted the -feasters, is not a subject to be written about, but, -as is perhaps the case with music and with painting, -it is a mere matter of temporary sensation. -Still, however, those who know the strange materials -out of which an Athenian corporation is -formed, (and I shall tell those who do not know -by and by,) can easily conceive what an ungainly -breadth of delight the lower extremities of that -corporation would feel in being allowed to gorge -themselves till their buttons were starting again, in -the very presence of the King. It was pleasing -for them, too, to hear the notes of flutes and fiddles -issuing from those crypts and holes about the hall -whence no sounds are accustomed to issue but the -dronings of the law. The King, with his selected<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span> -(I am not bound to say select) guests, had a sort -of line of partition, but all “below the salt,” -there seemed to be no law of aggregation. The -man who had fought at almost every degree of the -earth’s circumference sat in close juxtaposition -with him who had warred merely with words; he -who had done what in him lay to pull down the -glory of the old Athens, was amid those who would -copy that glory for the new; the sinecurist was at -the very ear of him by whom all sinecures are denounced; -he who had ploughed the wave was -companion to him who had only tilled the ground; -and the peer and the bailie were on the most -friendly footing. Nor was the varied <i>status</i> in life -and expression of countenance, the only thing -which gave richness to the harmony. The sober -blush of the heads of the Kirk, and the sombre -gowns of the Edinburgh magistrates, made a fine -contrast with the brightness of stars and ribbons, -and epaulettes and lace, and the mingling colours -of the Celtic chiefs. There were not many in the -Highland garb: the Earl of Fife, Sir Even Mac -Gregor, and the Macdonald, were the only three -that fell under my inspection; and from the number -of uniforms that every where predominated, -the party had a good deal of a military air.</p> - -<p>In the arrangements too, the senses of the civic -authorities, which are not upon any occasion very<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span> -great, appeared to be a little bewildered; for there -was no page to carry a bumper from the royal cup -to the Mordecais “whom the King delighted to -honour.”</p> - -<p>The only peculiarity of the feast, apart from the -number and variety of the guests, was the <i>reddendo</i> -of William Howison Craufurd, of Braehead, who -came with a basin and water, that his majesty -might wash his hands immediately after he had -satisfied himself of the dainties before him. There -was a certain knot of persons who struck me as -being determined to monopolize the whole attention -of the King; and, upon the present occasion, two -awkward boys, one a son and the other a nephew -of the Great Unknown, assisted the laird of Braehead -in carrying the basin and ewer, but they -came and went unheeded. The tradition upon -which this service of the basin is founded, is worth -repeating.</p> - -<p>All the Jameses who lived and died kings of -Scotland were fond of being their own spies; and -for this purpose, as well as for other purposes, they -were in the habit of travelling the country disguised -and alone; upon which occasions their doings -had more of love or of war in them, according -to the disposition of the royal incognito. The -rambles, and amours, and songs, of James V. -are well known, and so are some of the brawls and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span> -battles of James II., not the second of England, -who fought by mercenaries for the purpose of -slavery, but the second of Scotland, who occasionally -fought in prize battles with his subjects, -by way of experiment as to whether the sinews of a -man or a monarch were the better knit.</p> - -<p>Upon one occasion, a gang of gypsies assailed -him at Cramond, a few miles west of Edinburgh; -and, though he fought long and desperately, he -was beaten down. A ploughman, of the name of -Howison, who was threshing in a barn not far off, -heard the noise, ran toward the place, and seeing -one man assailed, down, and all but defeated, by -so many, began to belabour the gypsies with his -flail; and, having great strength and skill at his -weapon, soon put the gypsies to flight, lifted up -the King, carried him to his cottage, presented him -with a towel and water to remove the consequences -of the fray, and then, declaring that himself was -“master there,” set the stranger at the head of -his humble board. “If you will call at the castle -of Edinburgh,” said the stranger, “and ask for -Jamie Stuart, I will be glad to return your hospitality.” -“My hospitality,” said the farmer, “is -nae gryte things in itself; and it was gien without -ony thought o’ a return, just as nae doot you wad -hae done to me in the same tacking; but I am -obliged to you for your offer, and wad like to see the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span> -castle at ony rate. The King is a queer man, they -say, and has queer things about him.” The stranger -upon this took his departure; and the rustic was -well pleased with the idea that he would get a sight -of the inside of that strong and majestic pile, of -which he had so long admired the exterior.</p> - -<p>A few days afterwards he repaired to the castle, -inquired for “ane Jamie Stuart, a stout gude-lookin -chield, that could lick a dozen o’ gypsies, -but not a score,” was admitted, and ushered into -an apartment, the splendour of whose furniture, -and the number of whose company, bewildered him -not a little. At last, however, he recognised his -old guest Jamie Stuart, went up to him, shook -him heartily by the hand, inquired how he did, -and expressed a very earnest wish to see the King, -if such an honour was at all possible for a man of -his condition. “The King is present now,” said -Jamie Stuart, “and if you look round, you will -easily know him, for all the rest are bareheaded.” -“Then, I’m thinkin’ it maun either be you or -me,” said Howison, pulling off his bonnet, which -till then his astonishment had prevented him from -thinking of; “and, as our acquaintance has begun -by my fighting for you, I had better keep to that -when you need it, and let you keep to bein’ King.” -“Then, as you are so true and so trusty,” replied -the monarch, “you shall ride home the laird of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span> -Braehead.” “I like that better than twa kingdoms,” -said Howison, “but I canno’ accept o’ sae -much even frae your majesty, without gien’ something -for’t.” “Well, then,” said the King, “as -long as we are kings of Scotland and lairds of -Braehead, let you and your’s present to me and -mine, a basin and towel to wash our hands, whenever -we ask for it.”</p> - -<p>This was the only occurrence which took place -to break the dull activity of the dinner. But when -the cup circulated, a ceremony was performed which -delighted the corporation-men of the Athens, and -made the other corporation-men all over Scotland -sad through sore disappointment. The chief magistrate -of Edinburgh, who had taken his dinner as -plain Mr. William Arbuthnot, took his drink as -Sir William Arbuthnot, Knight Baronet of the -United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland,—the -knighthood, as was alleged, having been, for -the want of a sword, inflicted by that much more -appropriate weapon, a large carving-knife, and the -baronetage having subsequently issued from the -patent office in the usual form, and for the usual -fee. All this having been done, the King retired, -and the corporation-men kept up the feast, though -not so long or so heartily but that all the rest finally -went to their homes <i>more sober than a judge</i>.</p> - -<p>After the King had witnessed the devotedness of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span> -the Athenian authorities at the table, it was proper -that he should see the devotion of the people in the -church; and here again was one of those scenes -which struck me, and must have struck him, very -forcibly, as to the difference of a free people, -and fawning courtiers, corporation fools, and party -slaves.</p> - -<p>Becoming preparations having been made, and -the King having been furnished with a perspective -sketch of the church, and a written programme of the -service, it was agreed that the Very Reverend David -Lamont, D.D., Moderator and Spiritual Head -upon Earth of the Kirk of Scotland, should preach -before him, in the name and stead of all his willing -and worshipping brethren, while the “men,” the -“leaders,” and the people, should demean themselves -with that decorum, which the day, the service, -and the occasion required.</p> - -<p>When the services of the Scottish kirk are performed -in a becoming manner, there is a feeling, -a sublimity, and a heavenliness about them, of -which one who considers only their simple and -unadorned structure could form no adequate idea; -and when I observed the still and unbroken solemnity -of the service, and the effect which it -obviously had, not only upon those who are accustomed -to it, but upon those strangers who, in -whatever predilection they had for one religion<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span> -more than another, were wedded to the more artificial -and gaudy ritual of another church—a church -which had been at enmity with the Scottish kirk -from the beginning, and which, in dislike to the -system of sober equality among the Scottish clergy, -and the democratic nature of their church establishment, -have attempted to hold up their form of -worship as cold, meagre, incapable of stirring up -devotion in the hearts of men, and, by consequence, -not so gratifying to the Almighty as the more costly -and complicated ceremonial of others,—I could not -help believing that, of all forms of religion, the -simplest is decidedly the best, and that if the object -of the propagators of Christianity was nothing -but the cultivation of the minds and the improvement -of the morals of society, they would carefully -avoid all artifice and all show. Those, indeed, -who have considered the correspondence that exists -between the forms of religious worship, and the -intellectual culture of the great body of the people, -cannot have failed to observe, that pompous shows -and gaudy ceremonies have ever been the concomitants -of general ignorance and superstition, and -that a plain and unadorned system of worship, has -uniformly been characteristic of an intelligent -people.</p> - -<p>Scotland is an eminent example of this; and -whoever takes the trouble to investigate the structure<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span> -of Scottish society will, to a certainty, find -that for half their virtues, and more than half their -information, they are indebted to the presbyterian -kirk. Nor is it by any means difficult to find out -the reason: A religion of shows and of sounds,—of -mummeries and of music,—must ever be a religion -of the senses. How gaudy soever the trappings, -and how fine soever the music, they can -afford nothing more than a gratification of the -senses at the time. Forms cannot exist vividly but -in matter, and when the string of an instrument -ceases to vibrate on the ear, the pleasure which it -affords, however sweet or however delightful, is at -an end: they enter not into reflection; they stimulate -not the more rational and permanent faculties -of the mind; and, though they may be made to -influence, and influence powerfully, the passions, -while they last, they leave no lesson which can be -useful as a general rule of life. Hence, though the -churches of Scotland be, compared with those of -England, rude in the extreme; though the sacred -music of Scotland be often the untutored attempt -of nature, without the aid of flutes, hautboys, and -violins, as in the poorer churches of England, or -the solemn notes of the organ, as in the richer ones; -and though the prayers of the Scottish preacher -are generally couched in terms less stately and sublime -than those of the service-book of the English<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span> -church, yet we have the clearest proof that can be -given of the superior efficacy of the Scottish mode -of worship, in the superior veneration which the -people of Scotland, without any hope or even possibility -of earthly reward from it, pay to the rites -and ordinances of religion, and especially to that -most beneficial of all religious institutions, the setting -apart of the sabbath as a day of calm tranquillity -and holy meditation.</p> - -<p>I know not whether the Author of these pages, -or the Sovereign of these realms, was the more delighted -with the calm, sustained, and religious air -of the people of the Athens and of Scotland, as -they both proceeded from the palace of the Holyrood -to the High Kirk, on the morning of Sunday, -the 25th of August. A countless multitude -thronged the street, and filled the windows and -house-tops; they were habited in the neatest and -cleanest manner; and their profound silence formed -a wonderful contrast to the noise of their mirth -upon the former occasions. There was not a cheer, -a shout, or even a whisper; but, as the King -passed along, the men lifted their hats, and the -whole passed with the most sustained but respectful -reverence. They appeared to respect their King, -but to respect him less than they did the institutions -of their God, and the simple sublimity of that -religion which their own perseverance, faith, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span> -courage, had gained them, in spite of the efforts -of courtiers and kings, by whom its integrity, and -even its existence, were menaced.</p> - -<p>The extreme decorum of the people upon this -day was the more creditable, that it had been arranged -by none of the authorities; and those who -formed the mass of the spectators were chiefly such -as, on account of their distances or their pursuits, -could not obtain a sight of their monarch upon any -other day.</p> - -<p>In the crowd I could distinguish a number, who, -from their substantial blue garments, their broad -bonnets, their lank uncut hair, their great staves, -and their shoes dirty, as from a long journey, -seemed to be true whigs of the covenant, who looked -upon the descendant of Brunswick as a chosen one -of Heaven’s appointment, whose ancestors had been -the means of preventing that civil and religious -slavery which had threatened them in 1715 and -1745.</p> - -<p>As seemed to be the case with all parts of the -ceremony which were left to the awkward and -inexperienced official men of the Athens, the King’s -accommodation, or at least his attendance in church, -was by no means what it ought to have been. He -had brought a hundred pounds to give to the poor, -and he had some difficulty in getting it disposed of; -and, delighted with the unassisted vocal music,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span> -which was really very good, he wished to join in -the psalm, but he was unacquainted with the book, -and there was nobody to point out the place for -him. Still, judging from appearance as well as -from all that I could hear afterwards, the King -was better pleased with the stillness and solemnity -of the Sunday than he had been with the shows of -the other days. One reason of this no doubt was, -that, on the Sunday, the King was not so belumbered -by the aspiring loyalists thrusting themselves -not only between him and the people, but between -him and his own ease, comfort, and pleasure, as -they had done in all those acts of the drama, of -which themselves formed a leading or conspicuous -part; and, as he had formerly expressed his high -approbation of the appearance, and, which sounded -more strange in the ears of a southern visitor, of -the cleanliness of the Scottish people, he had an -equal opportunity of complimenting them upon -their decorum.</p> - -<p>After the King had paraded, and dined, and -heard sermon, there remained no further lion of -Athens to afflict him but the theatre; which was -arranged for his reception, as well as an Athenian -theatre could be expected to be arranged for such -a purpose, on the evening of Friday, the 27th of -August.</p> - -<p>The people of the Athens never have been able,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span> -and probably never will be able, to support a respectable -theatrical establishment. The genius of -the Scottish people generally is not theatrical. -There are still many sects of religionists among -them by whom the stage is denounced as a “tabernacle -of Satan.” This is by no means confined to -the provinces, or to the more austere or fanatical -classes of dissenters; for, at the time when “I, and -the King,” visited the Athens, her celebrated, and -most deservedly-celebrated preacher, of the presbyterian -establishment, was denouncing the sinfulness -of stage-plays, both from the pulpit and -the press; and though some of the courtly persons -whom fashion had induced to became churchwardens -or elders of his congregation, threatened to -rebuke or leave him, because, in the true spirit of -John Knox, he had preached a homily on kingly -duties, in which there was not much of flattery, -while the King was in the Athens, yet they let -him denounce the theatre as he pleased.</p> - -<p>The more aspiring cast of the Athenians lay -claim to very superlative taste in theatrical matters, -as indeed they do in every thing; and hence, they -pretend that they do not patronise the theatre, -because they cannot find a company of players, -who come at all up to their standard of histrionic -perfection; and they appeal for proof to the fact, -that when any of the grand stars or comets of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span> -London boards come to them for a night or two, -they throng the theatre with their persons, and -threaten to break it down with their plaudits. All -this, however, proves nothing, but that they are -unable to support a theatre, and that the crowding -to see a strange actor for a night or two arises not -from taste but from curiosity. The fact is, that, -though England has produced the very best dramatic -poet that ever lived, and some of the best -dramatic performers, yet that the drama, as a -matter of sentiment and feeling, and, as it were, of -constitutional necessity, does not tally with the -spirit even of the English people; and, as the -Scotch have all the business habits of the English, -together with a much greater degree of starchedness -of character, and incapability of purse, the -theatre cannot possibly flourish among them.</p> - -<p>The London theatres, excepting in the case of -occasional and accidental runs upon a particular -piece, or a particular actor, are uniformly miserable -speculations for the proprietors; and it will be -found, that even the poor support which the theatres -in London get, is given them, not by the people -of London so much as by that vast concourse of -strangers who feel at a loss how to spend their -evenings. Before the people, either of the Athens, -or of any other part of the British dominions, can -become theatrical, they must have a little more<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span> -relaxation from hard labour than they can at -present command. The national debt, and the -immense public establishments, are the real causes -why there are not only no Shakspeares now, but -why the heroes of the old Shakspeare have given -place to the wooden or real horses of a more buffooning -race. The people must not only work, but -work hard, during the live-long day; and when -they have an hour which they can snatch from the -abridged civilities of social life, for the purpose of -looking at a theatrical exhibition, they very naturally -prefer that which costs them no labour of -thought, and which makes them laugh, to that -which would impose upon them fatigue of the -mind in addition to fatigue of the body. To say, -therefore, that the Athens does not support the -theatre, because she cannot find a <i>corps dramatique</i> -that comes up to her taste, has no surer a -foundation than any other of those airy structures -which she builds as the monuments of her glory. -None of the fine arts, as a matter of abstract study -and speculation, and apart from its contributing to -the general comforts of life, can ever prosper in such -a state of society as that of England at the present -day; and if they languish in the British metropolis, -where there is the greatest abundance both -of money and of idle people, what must they do -among a people who are comparatively so poor and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span> -so plodding as those of the Athens? If a London -merchant, who goes to his place of business at one, -and leaves it at three, does not encourage the -drama, and the other fine arts; what can be expected -from an Athenian special pleader, who -drudges at Stair and Erskine, and thumbs Morison’s -Dictionary of Decisions, from grey dawn to -dark midnight, except during the hours that he is -occupied in gossiping in the large hall of the parliament-house, -or wrangling in the little courts, -and less niches? It is true, that Mr. Clark, now -Lord Eldin, could adorn his brief with drawings, -even in those places,—that the Unknown, who is -only a copying machine in his official capacity, can -spin a chapter, or correct a proof sheet,—and that -Jeffery has sometimes been caught writing an article -for the Edinburgh Review, during the time that -some long-winded proser was darkening the case on -the other side; but still all this is done more as -matter of business than of pleasure; and would, in -almost all cases, be let alone, were it not for the -fee that it produces.</p> - -<p>Miserable, however, as is the support which the -theatre of the Athens receives, and must continue -to receive, the King was constrained to visit it; -however, from the smallness of the house and the -number of those who had legal admission as immediately -belonging to his retinue, or his household,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span> -he could be for a long time gazed upon by the -chosen, without any great admixture of the mere -vulgar. The play was nothing; but there was -something rather novel in the by-acting. The -great chief of Glengarry, who has made himself -conspicuous in many ways and upon many occasions, -and who has proved his descent from Ronald, -the elder of the two Vikings, who came robbing -and remained royal in the Hebudæ, being thus, not -only “every inch a king,” as well as George the -Fourth, but a king of a much older and a more -legitimate dynasty, stood up for the royal prerogative -of wearing his bonnet, and keeping his seat, -while the band was playing, and the audience -shouting, “God save the King.” For this, he -was complained of somewhat angrily, and, in my -opinion, very unjustly; for, if they played and -sung “God save the King,” in honour of George -Augustus Frederick Guelph, King of Great Britain -and Hanover, then they stinted others of their -due, and showed a partiality not to be borne, when -they did not strike up “God save the Chief,” in -honour of Alexander Ronaldson Macdonell, of -Glengarry and Clanronald, heir to the titles, the -virtues, and the valour, of Donald of the Isles. -This was omitted, however, and so after this dramatic -scene, the Monarch of these realms staid not -another hour in the Athens; but merely rested a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span> -day in the neighbourhood, and then took his departure, -in manner as shall be set forth in another -section.</p> - -<p class="pc1 reduct">THE NATIONAL MONUMENT.<br /> -“<i>Si monumentum queriris, Circumspice.</i>”</p> - -<p class="pn1">Though the laying of the foundation-stone of the -“National Monument of Scotland,” is to be regarded -as a mere interlude in the royal acting, and -of course as a mere parenthesis in my outline of -the same, yet it merits a few sentences, not only on -account of the curiosity of the thing itself, but -because it throws some light upon the vanity of -Scottish official men in general, and upon those of -the Athens in particular.</p> - -<p>To some people, the idea of building a national -monument for Scotland, or in other words, a monument -for the Scottish nation, may seem a work -not of supererogation merely, but of folly; because -the Scottish nation, so far from running any -risk of becoming extinct and being forgotten, is in -a very lively and flourishing state; and there are -no people that, wherever they may go, cherish so -carefully and proclaim so loudly, the praise of their -country, as the Scotch. But this monument was -intended to answer two very nice purposes,—the -one for the glory of the loaf-and-fish politicians of -Scotland, and the other for that of the Athens.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span> -So long as the country was in a state of distress, -and it was doubtful whether the politics of the old -or new system would ultimately triumph upon the -Continent of Europe, a very large proportion of -the leading men of Scotland, and of the Athens, -joined the people in being Whigs. As such, they -had no immediate share in the good things of the -state; but they hoped that the wheel of hostilities -would revolve, bring the party into office, and so -feed them in proportion to the extent of their fasting -and longing. Independently of their intrinsic -value, Whig politics are a much better theme for -declamation than Tory. In that faith, one can -talk long and largely about the majesty and rights -of the people, and when not in office, one can promise -as largely as one pleases; while the most judicious -plan for the Tory is to pocket his reward, -and thank God; or if he boasts any thing it must -be only to the choice few, and when the inspiration -of a dinner looses his tongue. Under all those circumstances, -the Tories of the Athens, though they -had all the substantial things their own way, were -confined to the actual enjoyers of office and emolument; -and the tongues and pens of their opponents -were so hard upon them that they had begun to be -afraid to hold even their wonted meetings. Thus -it became necessary that they should do something -which should either win the hearts or dazzle the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span> -eyes of their countrymen. The former was without -the compass of their speculations; so they set -about the latter; and after floundering a long time -from one scheme to another, they at last hit upon -this wise one of the monument.</p> - -<p>After the requisite number of ladies and gentlemen -had licked the scheme into some sort of shape -in private, they held a meeting in the Assembly-Rooms -in George-Street, on the 24th of September, -1819, at which his Grace of Athol presided; and -divers other persons, equally loyal, and almost -equally tasteful and wise, gave their assistance. -The time was well-chosen. It was in the very -depth of those political clouds which, arising immediately -from the sufferings of the people, and remotely, -as was supposed, from the wasteful expenditure -and unaccommodating pride of the Administration, -were threatening to burst upon both -ends of the island. The object, as set forth in the -resolutions of that meeting, was threefold:—First, -the erection of a monument to commemorate the -great naval and military achievements of the British -arms, during the late glorious and eventful -war; secondly, in order to testify the gratitude of -the projectors to the Almighty, they were to connect -a church with the monument of the achievements, -and endow two ministers to officiate therein; -and thirdly, they were to set apart a certain number<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span> -of the seats in this church for the benefit of pious -strangers visiting the Athens. All which being -settled, they set about a subscription for raising the -funds. In those days, however, they were by no -means such adepts in political arithmetic as they -have since become, through the labours of Joseph -Hume and others; and though they had their -purses, they were neither so full nor so easily -opened as their loyal intentions. As that moment, -the monument to the achievements, the church, -and the two ministers, would have cost them more -than a hundred thousand pounds; and thus the -monument, besides its more avowed and desired -objects would have been the monument of all the -disposeable cash of the whole of the Tories of Scotland,—a -sepulture and a remembrance of which, -they were not altogether so fond. Wherefore, -finding that the subscriptions amongst themselves -were in danger of becoming the monument of the -project, they applied to the General Assembly of -the Scottish Kirk. That venerable constellation of -churchmen, after grave deliberation, declared that -the thing was “a most suitable and appropriate -expression of gratitude to the Lord of Hosts,” and -forthwith recommended a general address from the -one thousand and one parish pulpits of the Kirk, -for the purpose of obtaining collections and subscriptions -from the one thousand and one parishes.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span> -But the parsons were not over hearty in the cause, -and the people were less so; and thus the whole -sum produced did not much exceed a hundred -pounds—about two shillings for the prayers and -pleading of each minister.</p> - -<p>Having thus learnt from experience, that the -scheme would not do, either as a party and political -measure among themselves, or as a clerico-politico-religious -one in the hands of the ministers -of the kirk, they took up new ground altogether, -and addressed themselves to a much more active -and promising principle, the vanity of the Athens. -They began with a long and learned parallel between -the overthrow of Bonaparte and that of -Darius and Xerxes; and then, coming gradually -a little nearer home, they hinted, that, in his encouragement -of the arts, Lord Melville was the -express image of Pericles. This brought them to -the marrow of the subject: Edinburgh was very -much like Athens,—it was, in fact, the Modern -Athens, or the Athens Restored; the Calton Hill -was a far finer thing than the Acropolis; the freestone -of Craigleith excelled in beauty and durability -the marble of Pentelicus; the Firth of Forth -outstretched and outshone the Egean or the Hellespont; -the kingdom of Fife beat beyond all comparison -Ionia and the Troad; Ida and Athos were -mere mole-hills compared with North Berwick Law<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span> -and the Lomonds; Platæa and Marathon had nothing -in them at all comparable with Pinkie and -Preston Pans; Sir George Mackenzie of Coull, -excelled both Æschylus and Aristophanes; Macvey -Napier was an Aristotle; Lord Hermand a Diogenes; -Macqueen of Braxfield had been a Draco; -the Lord President was a Solon; a Demosthenes -could be found any where; and Lord Macconachie -was even more than a Plato. Then, to make the -parallel perfect, and indeed to make the Modern -Athens every way outstrip the Athens of old, only -one thing was wanting, and that was, that there -should be erected upon the top of the Calton Hill, -a copy of the Temple of Minerva Parthenon, to be -called the national monument of Scotland, as that -had been called the national monument of Greece; -and that the independence of the modern city and -the modern land should survive the building of -the monument as long as that of the old had done.</p> - -<p>The proposal took amazingly; for, in an instant, -every quill was up to the feather in ink, -every tongue was eloquent, and every lady and -gentleman took an Athenian <i>nom de guerre</i>—Alcibiades -there, Aspasia here, till they had -Athenized the whole city. Still, however, fine as -the situation was, and fond as they were of it, a -Parthenon in speech was a cheaper thing than a -Parthenon in stone; and so, though Edinburgh<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span> -had, beyond all doubt or dispute, become the Modern -Athens, it still wanted the temple of Minerva -upon the Calton Hill as the national monument -of Scotland.</p> - -<p>It was still wished and resolved, however, that -this finishing touch should be given to the likeness -and the glory of the Modern Athens; and, as the -tories, the ministers, and the dilettanti, had all -failed in the accomplishment of the thing, it was -resolved to call in royal aid; and have the assistance -of his majesty at laying the basis of this -mighty monument. But even here, there were obstacles -in the way of this slow-going Parthenon: it -would be too much to ask the King to lay the -foundation-stone in person; and yet, if he were -present, the laying of it would be a humiliation of -the whole tories of the country in the sight of -majesty; for it happened unfortunately for them, -that the grand master of the mystic craft in Scotland -was none other than the whig Duke of Hamilton: -But wisdom has many ways of going to -work; and so they resolved that the tory lords -should act the King by deputation, and command -the grand master to do the work. This was no -sooner thought of than put in execution. An immense -number of the craft formed a procession, -and the stone was laid, leaving the structure to be -built when time and funds should permit.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pc1 reduct">THE DISPERSION.</p> - -<p class="pc1 reduct">“To your tents, O Israel.”</p> - -<p class="pn1">Never was the philosophic adage of “soonest -hot, soonest cold,” more completely verified, than -in the case of the loyal official men of Scotland. -At every point, and in every thing, they had been -eclipsed; in most things they had felt a fancied -neglect and disappointment; and never did Welsh -squire or Highland chief, when justled by the -London crowd in Cheapside or the Strand, sigh -more for his white villa or grey fortalice, than -they did for a return to the snug honours of their -respective burghs. There was wormwood in the -cup which they durst not throw away, and which -they were unwilling to drink,—there were from -each burgh, men whom they had formerly attempted -to look down upon, in consequence of an assumed -or presumed influence at court; and those men had -seen with what indifference themselves and their -very best addresses had been treated; and they -would not fail to communicate this to the people -at home. Where they had hoped to shine, they -had only smoked; where they had made sure of -rising, they had sunk; where they had counted -upon honours and rewards, they had only incurred -expense which their constituents would compel -them to pay out of their own pockets; and where<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span> -they had sown hopes the most sweet, they could -reap nothing but disappointment the most bitter. -It was piteous to see their looks,—blank and dull -enough when they first came in the flush of their -importance; but now doubly blank, and trebly -dull.</p> - -<p>“<i>Et tu Brute!</i>” The very magistrates of Edinburgh,—that -provost Arbuthnot, the moment that -he knew his own was to be the only “<i>gentry</i>” conferred -upon a Scottish magistrate, cut his country -cousins. Not even Glasgow herself, notwithstanding -her lodgings hired at a thousand guineas a -week, could be permitted to taste so much as a -glass of cold water in the presence of the King. -Perth “tried herself o’ the Gaelic,” and swore all -the oaths of the mountains; the little, side-fidgetting, -owl-faced provost of Inverness, who had come -“over the hills and far away” in a dog-cart, in order -that he might avoid the contamination of his bailies, -poked out his under-lip like the edge of a singed -pan-cake, and with his right hand gave a most -fierce and ominous scratching to his left elbow. -Aberdeen blasted the eyes of his own cats, and -vowed that he would “vote for Josaph Heem, -oat o’ pyure retrebeeshon.”</p> - -<p>Never, indeed, was bold beginning brought to so -lame and impotent a conclusion; but it was a conclusion -which any person, except a Scotch burgh<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span> -magistrate, might have anticipated. Even the -Lord-Mayor of London is a commoner at Hampstead -or Brixton, and what, then, could an Inverness -or a Perth Bailie, or even a Glasgow Provost, -be in the modern Athens, and while the whole of -the official men there were bowing before the King, -in the hope of securing all the advantage to themselves? -If neglect be the portion of the man who -can afford to place upon the table at his election-dinner -as much turtle as would float a seventy-four, -and who sends over the world,</p> - -<p class="pp6 p1">——“Argosies with portly sail,<br /> -Like signiors and rich burghers of the flood,”</p> - -<p class="pn1">what could be expected of the man who retailed -pig-tail tobacco by the yard, or played the leach to -the breechless urchins of the mountains? “Nothing,” -will be the answer of any uninterested -spectator or hearer; but to put any corporation -man, more especially if he be Scotch, in possession -of this part of his utter insignificance without -his own burgh, or indeed, to any rational -purpose, within it, would be as hard and hopeless a -task as ever was undertaken by man.</p> - -<p>Thus the chances are, that though these poor -innocents (and to have beheld their rueful looks on -their neglect and disappointment, would have created -bowels in a Turk, or made Burdett pity, if -not love, borough-mongers,) felt all the bitterness<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span> -of the infliction, they would profit nothing by the -wholesome hint of the lesson,—just as in a school, -the blockheads get all the whipping, and none of -the Latin.</p> - -<p>Even as early as the levee day, those persons -had found that they were not in their proper element, -and the discovery had become more plain -and palpable every day. Their first and fondest -hopes were that each would be made a peer; then -they came down to baronets; next to simple knights; -and again each would have been pleased if the -King had given him a snuff-box,—or even, latterly, -a pinch of snuff. But all that the King gave was -an Irish giving—he gave himself no trouble about -them; and the whole court, or, as tails were the -fashion, the whole royal tail, from the Right -Honourable Robert Peel, Secretary of State for -the Home Department, to Sir Patrick Walker, -Knight, Usher (not, as some say, of the white -feather,) but of the White Rod, followed at the -hinder parts of its royal master. Even with regard -to the counties, there were few of the men in -office who met with much regard. A Scotch lord-lieutenant -has commonly a very capacious swallow -himself; thus whatever the minor officers happen -to pick up is only at second hand through him; -and upon the occasion alluded to, a few wary -wights who gave themselves airs haughty and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span> -tyranic enough, while in their own localities, might -be seen twittering after the great man who made -them, just as Irish beggars twitter after a mail-coach. -But hope is like the sun, it ever rises the -soonest, and sets the latest, upon the most elevated -point; and so, ere the last and lingering ray had -gone down upon the pinnacle of royalty, the middle -men of Scotland and of the Athens were dark -as Erebus. Long before that feast of which they -were forbidden to eat, and that solitary honour to -Provost Arbuthnot which they were forbidden to -witness, the greater part of the “bodies” had -taken their knapsacks and their departure.</p> - -<p>For a day or two previous, they who one little -week before had looked down not only upon great -merchants and little squires, but absolutely upon -the nobles of the land, might be found at the corners -and crossings of streets, begging a bow from -the poorest of their townsmen.</p> - -<p>On the morning preceding the pilgrimage, I took -an early walk round the Calton-Hill; and I cannot -say that I ever met with a spectacle more ludicrously -pathetic than the chief magistrate of a royal -burgh, who sat in brown and stony meditation -there. A large stone formed his seat; and, but -for his resemblance to human nature, and the chain -of office that was about his neck, I might have -supposed that the seat and the sitter were of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span> -same senseless material. The north-east wind swept -coldly upon him, but he appeared to heed it not; -as little did he notice me, as I went close up to scan -his singular appearance. In shape, in size, and in -colour, his face more resembled a brick than any -other similitude that I could find. One hand hung -upon his knee and held a snuff-box, by the inscription -upon which I could perceive that he had been -a colonel of volunteers; while the other hand, arrested -in middle course, as it bore its load from the -silver to the brazen repository, was relaxed in its -hold, and dropping upon the cravat that with -which he meant to powder the intellect. His speculationless -eye was directed across the blue Firth, -and to the brown mountains, among which I should -presume he had his residence; and, heedless of -any passer by, he was taking up his Ecclesiastes -like another Solomon: “Deil’s i’ that King! could -not he hae staid at hame, and let us continue to tell -him a’ abaut the countrie? We hae put ourselves -to nae sma’ fash an’ expense, and it has a’ come to -a bonnie upshot. Our business negleckit, half the -siller cuinzied out a’ our ain pooches, naething but -lookit doon upon here; an’ a’ for the sake o’ bein’ -taunted and worried by the folk at hame, for sax -months at the least.” Thus saying, he bounced -up, buttoned his coat, trotted away to the coach-office, -and, instead of returning at the tails of four<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span> -greys as he had come, was fain to ride outside the -stage-coach, and smuggle himself into his burgh -under cloud of night.</p> - -<p>The rout soon became general: Glasgow, in -great wrath, took her coach, and her lamentation, -and drove so furiously, that the cries of “make -way for the duke,” and “stop thief!” resounded -alternately at the hamlets and turnpike-gates; -while the echo of the western city, emptied as it -still was of a great part of its inhabitants, was the -most dismal that can be imagined. Aberdeen tarried -not the wheels of her chariot, until she had -reached her own Castle Street; where the answer -that she made to the many inquiries as to what -she had gotten was, “It wad nae mak ony body -vera fat.” Nor was disappointment the only misery -against which they had to bear up. Perth got her -head broken by thrusting herself in the way at the -peer’s ball. Poor Dundee got her pocket picked -at some place she did not mention. Inverness was -put on quarantine when she went home. Inverbernie -found that during her absence, a radical -barber and breeches-maker had established himself -next door, and monopolized the whole custom; -and, in short, every one had a tale of woe, which, -while it pleaded for pity, found only derision.</p> - -<p>Towards the close of the exhibition, a number -even of the people seemed to get heartily tired of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span> -the business; and notwithstanding all the scramble -that was made by those whose interest it was to -preserve appearances as much as possible, every -succeeding act fell off in interest, and, had George -the Fourth remained in the Athens for but one -brief month, it is probable that the people of Scotland -would have returned to their own homes, and -the Athenians to the worship of their own idols.</p> - -<p class="pc1 reduct">THE PARTING.</p> - -<p class="pc1 reduct">“Adieu, Adieu, Adieu! remember me.—<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span>”</p> - -<p class="pn1">The streets of the Athens, which had been -thinning of people ever since the King’s arrival, -were, on the morning of Friday the 30th of August, -the day on which he was to take his departure, -as still and silent as though the chariot-wheel -of majesty had never been heard in them. The -constables, lacqueys, and laced porters at the gates -of the Holyrood had dwindled to a small and feeble -remnant; no merry archer, in broad bonnet of -blue, and doublet of green tartan, demanded the -pass-word, with bent bow and pheon ready for the -string; the foot of the casual house-maid wakened -the old and melancholy echo in its deserted halls; -and those apartments which were so recently gladdened -by the gorgeous train of the King, and -made lovely and gay by the presence of all that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span> -Scotland could boast of the fair and the noble, -were in sure progress to being as usual “furr’d -round with mouldy damp and ropy slime,” over -which the faint recollection (for even then it was -waxing faint,) that the King had been there, “let -fall a supernumerary horror,” which, to those who -during the King’s stay had been raised to office, -and put on the guise of courtiers, only served to -make the night of his absence “more irksome.” The -cannon, which, for the previous fourteen days, had -ever and anon been pealing royal salutes, began to -be dragged from the heights of Salisbury Crags -and the Calton Hill; and the royal standard was -taken down, leaving the bare widowed staff bleaching -in the air. The guns of the venerable castle -too, had subsided into the common office of chronicling -the several holidays and anniversaries, as -though they had been a mere kalendar; the last -booths and benches were in the act of being pulled -down; and, excepting in shop-keepers’ books, in -the blackening of a few houses in the illumination, -and in the baronet’s patent of Sir William Arbuthnot, -and the knighthood of Raeburn, a painter, -and Fergusson, deputy-king of the Athenian beefeaters, -the Athens retained no external trace of the -royal visit, even when the royal cavalcade was -barely escaping from the suburbs.</p> - -<p>The people were intoxicated with its coming, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span> -seemed for a time to have dreamed; but the dream -had melted away, and the interest seemed to be -measured exactly by the time that the King had to -remain. Every day it waxed less and less, till, on -the day of his departure, it had vanished altogether. -I say this, of course, of the people generally,—of -those who, in their minds and their circumstances, -are independent, and not of them who basked in -the sunshine of the court, or had realities or hopes -from the royal munificence. These, of course, followed -after the King to the last, and conveyed him -to his barge, but the people stood by with the -most provoking indifference, and, to the broadest -hints that they should shout, returned only a few -scattered murmurs of approbation. They turned -to each other, and talked of the passing splendour -as if it had been a common spectacle. At the same -time, the King himself, and not the mere pomp, -was certainly the object of their attention and solicitude. -“Hech,” said the old bonneted sire to -his neighbour, as the King passed them rapidly on -the beautiful lawn at Hopetoun House, “Hech! -an’ so that’s the real descendant o’ Brunswick, wha -preserved us the Declaration of Rights, and the -Protestant Succession, whilk allow ilka man, gentle -and simple, to hae the keepin’ o’ his ain body, and, -what’s muckle better, o’ his ain saul and conscience. -God bless him, an’ keep him frae evil counsellors,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span> -and sinfu’ neebours, for they say that the gryte -fouk about Lunnon are no’ just what they should -be.” Thus did the rustics hold converse with one -another; and it could not be expected that persons -who had their minds in tone for such remarks, -could bawl and shout like the unreflecting rabble, -whose tongues, were it King George or King -Crispin, would be equally loud.</p> - -<p>That the loyalty of official men, of all conditions, -in Scotland, is as fawning and obsequious, as in -any country under the sun, I could not fail to observe: -as little could I fail to observe, that that of -the people of Scotland is of a very different character, -and not to be judged of by their shouting -or not shouting at a royal pageant. With them, -loyalty is, like every thing else, a matter of reason -and reflection, and not of mere impulse and passion; -and they never lose sight of the original and -necessary connexion between the King and the -people. They do not look upon the King as one -who is elevated above man and mortal law, and -who holds a character directly from Heaven, in -virtue of which, he can, at his pleasure, and without -being accountable, put his foot upon the neck -of millions of the human race. They consider him -as originally set up by common consent, and for -the common good, and they admit of the law of -lineage and succession just because it saves the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span> -chance of civil war, and gives a centre and a rallying -point to the strength and energy of the country.</p> - -<p>The melancholy, which the now deserted state of -the Athens, contrasted with its recent bustle and -activity, was calculated to produce, was increased -by the day of the King’s departure being one of the -most gloomy and comfortless that it is possible to -imagine. The wind alternately swept in hurricanes -which drove immense masses of clouds over the -city, and died away in dead calms which allowed -those clouds to retain their positions and pour out -their contents in torrents. Early as was the season, -the leaves from the few trees in the vicinity of the -Athens had begun to fall; and, as the wind freshened, -they coursed each other along the dirty and -deserted streets in ironical mimickry of those processions -by which they had so lately been filled. -It was no day either for examining the still life of -the Athens, or for studying the manners of the -Athenians; and so, as my chief purpose had been -delayed by every display during the King’s visit, -I thought it just as well to see the end,—to mark -the difference of feeling and expression that the -people would have at the time of a King’s coming -and at that of his going. Accordingly, I set out -for Hopetoun House, where royalty was to be refreshed, -ere he again attempted the waters.</p> - -<p>It had been expected, that the King would grace<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span> -with his royal presence, Dalmeny Castle, the beautiful -seat of Lord Roseberry, but he contented -himself with a drive through the grounds. Nor -was the day such as to permit him to see the prospect -in descending Roseberry Hill to Queensferry. -The view there is peculiarly fine, and to Scotchmen -it must be highly interesting. Immediately below -is the Forth, spotted with islands and covered with -shipping. To the left are the rich woods and extensive -demesnes of Hopetown, with the ancient -burgh of Queensferry at their entrance. To the -right, are the bolder shores of Fife, over which -rises the beautiful ridge of Ochills. The towers -of Stirling, long the seat of kings, rise in the -centre; and at no great distance is the field of -Bannockburn; and to the right, amid the grey -pinnacles of Dunfermline, sleep the ashes of the -Bruce. Further off Benledi, Ben-an, and Ben-voirlich -raise their lofty crests, and the noble peak -of Ben-lomond pierces the most distant cloud. -Altogether it is a scene worthy of royal attention, -and within its ample circuit are countless recollections -not unworthy of kingly meditation. The -place where Græme’s Dyke set bounds to the ambition -of the Romans, till the Caledonians fell a -prey to luxury and corruption, may tell that the -strength of a people is not in walls and ramparts, -but in courage, in virtue, and in freedom. The<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span> -stone near the banks of Carron, where the royal -standard of Scotland first was displayed triumphant -after years of suffering and humiliation, and the -spot at which the battle-axe of Bruce cleft the -helm and head of the invader’s champion, tell what -may be done by an independent people, under the -conduct of a brave and virtuous prince; the veneration -with which Scotchmen yet look towards the -crumbling ruins of Dunfermline, proclaims that -the patriotism of a King far outlives mere pomp -and tinsel; and the fields of Falkirk and Sherriff-muir, -might have whispered in the ear of George -the Fourth, how hard Scotchmen had struggled in -order that his family might wear the crown. It -seemed, however, that Nature had refused his -majesty a glance of the talismans of these recollections; -and that, as he had confined his attentions -(we mean his private attentions, which, of course, -are exclusively at his own disposal,—in his public -displays he was equally attentive to all,) to one -family or party, so the glories of Scotland were -shrouded from his view. During the whole day, -a thick cloud lowered over the western horizon, -through which only the nearest summit of the -Ochills was but dimly seen. When his majesty -came to Queensferry, it seemed as if “Birnam -Wood had come to Dunsinane,” for the whole -fronts of the houses, with their appendages, were<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span> -covered with boughs; boughs too were hung across -the street, and showed like triumphal arches turned -topsey-turvey, as in sorrow at the departure of the -King. A small platform was erected at Port Edgar, -a place a little to the west of Queensferry, -about which there is some idle tradition of an -ideal kingly visit, and deliverance from shipwreck. -Thence to Hopetoun House, a distance of about -two miles, a road was now made along the margin -of the Forth. In the halls of the gallant Earl, -a <i>dejeunér à la fourchette</i> was prepared for the -King, a select few of the nobility, and many of the -neighbouring gentry. The country people had assembled -on the lawn, to the amount of some thousands, -and were regaled with two or three butts of -October.</p> - -<p>The King arrived at the place of embarkation -about three o’clock, walked to the platform, leaning -on Lord Hopetoun’s arm, and was received on the -platform by the venerable chief commissioner, -Adam, as convener of the Queensferry trustees. -He took his old friend cordially by both hands, -and was by him conveyed to the royal barge, -which he entered, and reached the yacht in about -six minutes. Although the King’s “last speech” -had been hawked through the streets of the Athens -in the morning, there is no evidence that he made -one; and, indeed, gradually to its close, the whole<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span> -matter had melted away, like a dream from the recollection -of the half-awakened. Scarcely, too, had -his majesty got on board the yacht, when the dark -clouds veiled his whole squadron like a curtain, -and the incessent pelting of the rain scattered the -remnant of the people.</p> - -<p>It was with some difficulty, and at a late hour, -that I was able to return to the Athens; and when -I arose on the following morning, and sallied out -to begin my survey, the contrast was too strong for -my feelings. The whole line of George Street was -unbroken, except by the hoary form of a beggar -crawling along in front of those assembly-rooms -which had lately been so gay; and the trim and -active figure of the editor of the Edinburgh Review, -who, with a great bundle of law-papers under -one arm, and a new book under the other, -shot along with as much rapidity, as though the -most strong and skilful of the archer-band had -discharged him from his bow. Queen Street was -desolate; and in King Street, the only thing that I -could notice was one or two of the personages who -had lately flaunted their tails as highland chiefs, -taking leave of their law-agents, with downcast -and sorrowful looks. The regalia of Scotland were -again consigned to their dull and greasy apartment -in the castle; the High Street, which so recently -had rung with the acclamations of serried multitudes,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span> -now echoed to the grating croak of the -itinerant crockery-merchant, and the ear-piercing -screams of the Newhaven fish-wife. The gewgaws, -which for the last two weeks had glittered -in the windows of the shop-keepers, had again -given place to sober bombazines and webs of -duffle; and the shop-keepers themselves were either -leaning against the posts of their doors, and yawning -to an extent which would have thrown any but -Athenian jaws off the hinges, or sitting perked -upon three-footed stools within, casting looks, in -which hope formed no substantial ingredient, upon -the long pages which their country friends had -enabled them to write in their day-books; and of -which, to judge from appearances, it was pretty -plain that the term of payment would be to the full -as long as the amount. Every where, in short, -that I came, there was an air of desolation; not by -any means that the Athens was mourning for the -departure of the King, for among the few persons -who were visible, his name was not so much as -mentioned, but in her own appearance she was -mournful indeed, and though she retained the -same form as during the display and rejoicing, her -spirit seemed to be clean gone; and it was quite -evident that, in order to catch the average and peculiar -likeness of this boasted city, I must tarry -till the present appearance had passed off, or<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span> -remove to a distance, till the natural one should -return.</p> - -<p>I preferred the latter alternative, and resolved, -after resting for that day, to forget both the glory -and the gloom in a month or two among the Scottish -mountains; and then return to the Athens, -when the return of business, of people, and of -prate, should have been brought back to their -ordinary channels.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER IV.</h2> - -<p class="pc2 lmid">THE ATHENS AND THE ATHENIANS IN -GENERAL.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pc reduct">“A city set on an hill, which cannot be hid.”</p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">In</span> point of diversity of situation and beauty, and -durability of building materials, few cities have -the same advantages as the Athens; and I know -of no city, of which the general and distant effect, -upon what side soever one approaches it, is more -picturesque and striking. But, as is the case with -most things that look well as wholes, one is miserably -disappointed when one comes to examine the -details. The ground upon which the Athens is -built bears some resemblance to a fort with a ditch -and glacis. The Castle and High Street, with the -clustered buildings on each side, compose the fort; -the Cow-gate on the south, the Grass Market on -the west, and the North Loch on the north, form -the ditch, which bears some resemblance to a -noose thrown round the Castle, and having the -ends stretching away eastward by the Holyrood;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span> -and beyond this ditch the glacis slopes toward -St. Leonard’s, the Loch of Duddingstone, and the -Meadows on the south, and toward the water of -Leith on the north. The central division, although -its situation be very airy, and also very favourable -for cleanliness, has nothing to boast of in either of -these respects. The houses are so closely huddled -together, that, excepting the High Street itself, -which is rather spacious, the inhabitants may almost -shake hands from the windows of the opposite -houses; and they are built to such a height, that -scarcely a glimpse of sunshine can find its way -within two storeys of the foundations. In all this -part of the Athens, there seems to be the greatest -dislike to subways and common sewers; and thus, -unless when the High Street is washed by a torrent -of rain, it is by no means the most pleasant to -perambulate. The southern ditch, or Cow-gate, is, -throughout its whole extent, as filthy and squalid -as can well be imagined; and, with the exception -of a few public buildings, and one or two little -squares, there is not much to be commended on -the glacis beyond. Indeed the whole, southward -of the North Loch, which the Athenians style the -sublime part of their city, is more remarkable for -the sublimation of mephitic effluvia than of any -other thing. The new town again, or the portion -between the North Loch and the water of Leith,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span> -is as dull as the other is dirty. The principal -streets consist of long lines of stone building, without -any break or ornament except wicket-doors -and trap-hole windows, which render the whole -very heavy, and induce one to believe that they -are constructed with the intention of being as inaccessible -and dark as possible. Princes Street, -which is a single row, looking across the tasteless -and unadorned gulf of the North Loch toward -the beetling and shapeless masses of the old town, -had originally been intended for private dwelling-houses, -at the rate of a whole family per floor. -Circumstances have changed, however. The Athenian -fashionables (contrary to the natural tendency -of the Scotch) have moved northwards; -their places have been supplied by drapers from -the Lawn Market, barbers from the Parliament -Stairs, and booksellers from the Cross; and, as the -immense weight of tall stone-houses renders the -alteration of the ground-floor dangerous, without -taking down and rebuilding the whole, the expense -of which would be very great, Princes Street is -perhaps the most tasteless and clumsy line of shops -in the island of Great Britain; while, so anxious -are the people to huddle upon the top of each -other, that it is not uncommon to find four or -five shops for very opposite kinds of wares, in a -pile up and down the same stair-case. George<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span> -Street is the most gloomy and melancholy that can -well be imagined; and a walk along its deserted -pavements is sufficient to give any one the blue -devils for a week. Queen Street is longer, but -not a whit more lively; and, though the view from -it be both extensive and varied, it seems no great -favourite with the Athenians. Farther to the -north the buildings are newer, and there is occasionally -an attempt at the recurrence of architectural -ornaments at the end of certain lengths of the -buildings; but these ornaments want taste in their -form, and force in their projections, and thus increase -the poverty of the effect. Throughout the -whole private dwellings of the Athens, you are -impressed with the cold eternity of stone and lime, -and you look in vain for that airy elegance, that -rich variety of taste, and that repose of comfort, -which you find in other places. Villas, self-contained -houses, and snug or even decent gardens, -seem to be held in the greatest abhorrence. You -meet not with one of the delightful little boxes -which are scattered round London by thousands, -and of which there are always a few in the vicinity -of even third-rate towns in England. The ambition -of the Athenians appears to be, to make every -four stone walls a joint stock company, as dull, as -tasteless, and as heavy, as a stack of warehouses -in Thames Street.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span></p> - -<p>Of all the objects of Athenian detestation, the -greatest, however, seem to be decently laid out -pleasure-grounds, and trees. Strangers used to -say that the rustic Scotch cut down all sorts of -bushes, because ghosts and spirits whistled in them -on windy nights; and really, when I looked at the -many fine situations in and about the Athens, -which the Athenians have taken particular care -neither to improve nor to plant, I could not help -thinking that this superstition, now banished from -every province in Scotland, has taken up its abode -in the Scottish metropolis. True, they have a -public walk round the Calton-Hill, but that is -merely a thing of yesterday; and though they have -placed upon the top of it a monument to Lord -Nelson, modelled exactly after a Dutch skipper’s -spy-glass, or a butter churn; an astronomical observatory, -tasteful enough in its design, but not -much bigger than a decent rat-trap, or a twelfth-cake -at the Mansion-House; and are to build “the -National Monument;” yet they have never thought -of planting so much as a thistle, but have left the -summit of the hill in all its native bleakness, and -allowed it to be so much infested by lazy black-guards -and bare-footed washerwomen, as to be unsafe -for respectable females even at noon-day;—while -after dusk this, the most fashionable promenade -of the Athens, is habitually the scene of so<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span> -much and so wanton vice, that instead of an ornament -to the city, as it might easily be made, it is a -nuisance and a disgrace.</p> - -<p>The royal precinct of the Holyrood, which occupies -a piece of rich level ground about the -palace, and which stretches a considerable way up -the romantic heights to the south, is, one would -think, a chosen place for taste to display itself upon; -and when there are taken into the account the -boast of the Athenians that their Holyrood is the -finest royal palace in Britain, and that other boast -which is so habitual with them that there is no -need of repeating it, one would imagine that among -all their boasted improvements the royal precinct -would not have been overlooked; but all that they -appear to have done for it has been to make it as -dirty and as desolate as ever they could. The whole -filth of the old town (and that is no small commodity) -is collected in cesspools within a few yards of -the palace; and lest that should not be grateful -enough to the Athenian olfactories, a considerable -portion of the adjoining ground is set apart for the -collection of manure from all places. Upon the -other parts of the royal domain, about half a dozen -of scraggy and withered trees, and an old thorn-hedge, -more than half of which was when I viewed -it reposing in the lap of its neighbour ditch, are -the only attempts at landscape-gardening; and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span> -grand-children of those by whom they were planted -must, by this time, be in their graves or their -dotage.</p> - -<p>Salisbury Crags, again, are a natural object -which the people of a less classical city would not -only adore, but adorn by every means in their -power. The Athenians act differently; their rulers -hew down the picturesque masses of basalt, sell -them at so much a cart-load, for paving the streets -and Mac-Adamizing the highways, and put the -proceeds into that bottomless box called the “common -gude.” About midway up that bold front of -these cliffs which looks towards the city, there is -what may be termed an accidental public walk. It -has been formed by the cutting away of the rock -above for the purposes of gain, and the tumbling -down of the smaller fragments which were not -saleable. When the Athenian authorities were -alarmed at the Radicals, and bestirred themselves -in getting a general subscription for the relief of -those whom the changes consequent upon the late -war had thrown out of employment, a few labourers -were set to work on the middle of this -walk; but they had no plan and no superintendant, -and the funds were exhausted before it could -be made accessible at either end; while the whole -face of the Crags, instead of being tufted with -brushwood and festooned with creeping plants, as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span> -might have been done at very little expense, is as -naked as—the shame of those who let it remain in -its present condition.</p> - -<p>The meadows southward of the city, and the -adjoining common called “Bruntsfield-links,” are -not in much better condition. At some period, -indeed, a walk or two had been formed in the meadows, -and some hedges and trees planted, but -neither the one nor the other have been attended to; -while the grass is in so marshy a state that the -cows, to which it is almost exclusively assigned, can -with difficulty make their way across it. The -whole extent of the North Loch, too, was till very -lately, and great part of it is still, a putrid and -pestilent marsh, at once offensive to the eye, and -injurious to the health; and indeed, throughout -the whole compass of the Athens, there is scarcely -a tree or any thing green, except grass in the melancholy -streets towards the meadows, and moss -upon the dank walls of several of the more low and -squalid dwelling-houses.</p> - -<p>Notwithstanding all this, there are few places -that boast more of their improvements than the -Athens; and not many in which the people have -been made to pay more upon that score. But -either there has been a total want of skill in the -projectors, or a total want of economy in those -who had the execution,—if indeed there has not<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span> -been both. I was told repeatedly, that every -scheme and measure to which the Athenian authorities -give the name of a public improvement, is -uniformly a job for the benefit, not of the public, -but of some party or individual; and really, comparing -what is said to have been expended with -what has actually been done, I can find no other -theory that will sufficiently explain the facts. The -bell-rope of the Tron-Kirk appears not to have -been the only case in which a hundred pounds’ expense -has been incurred for the purpose of saving -a shilling.</p> - -<p>Even in her public buildings, the Athens has -little of which she can boast. All the places of -worship belonging to the established Kirk are tasteless; -and the most modern ones are the most so. -St. Giles’ Cathedral is a black, shapeless, and -ruinous mass, stuck round with booths and police-officers; -and when one has said, that the portion of -it set apart for public worship as the High Kirk, -has a handsome old roof spoiled by tasteless painting, -and a square tower with an imperial crown, -which looks well at a distance, and not absolutely -ill when one is close to it,—one has about summed -up the whole of its merits. Respecting most of -the other Presbyterian churches, the less that is -said the better; the Grey-Friars, situate south of -the Castle, has an interest with the more devout<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span> -people of Scotland, from the tombs of the martyrs -that are in the adjoining burial-ground; and St. -George’s Church, which terminates the street of -the same name, westward, is perhaps the most expensive -and unseemly abortion of modern architecture. -Public monuments in the Athens there are -none, except Nelson’s (formerly mentioned) on the -Calton-Hill, and Lord Melville’s column in St. -Andrew’s Square; and it is not the fashion of the -Athens to consider her burying-grounds as sacred, -or to set up memorials for the illustrious dead. If -her plan gives her as much trouble as this would -do, it is trouble of a different kind: she keeps -down, as much as she can, all those who are not -either illustrious already, or have not something to -confer, as long as they are alive; and when they -are dead, she gives herself no more trouble about -them.</p> - -<p>Of her other public buildings, the College is the -largest; but as the plan was far beyond her means, -it stood a ruin for a very considerable period, and -will ultimately be a piece of patchwork in consequence -of a deviation from the original design. Still, -however, if it could be seen, the entrance front is -majestic; and the opposite square (especially the -whole façade in which the Museum is, and the -rooms for the Museum itself) is singularly chaste -and beautiful. The Register-House is a neat<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span> -building, and seen to considerable advantage; but -there is something trifling in the whole air of it.</p> - -<p>That frost-work style of architecture, which out-Goths -all the Goths that ever existed, has visited -the Athens, in some of its most tawdry and fantastic -specimens,—the chief of which are an episcopal -chapel near the west end of Princes’ Street, -and another near the east end of Queen Street, of -which it would puzzle a conjuror to point out the -most ridiculous.</p> - -<p>Even the Castle has suffered the infliction of the -modern Athenian taste, by the erection of two or -three piles within its ramparts which have every -appearance of being cotton manufactories. So -much for the still life of the modern Athens.</p> - -<p>To give a general idea of the Athenian people, -is by no means so easy a matter. They take their -character from a number of circumstances; and -the circumstances cannot be properly explained -without an allusion to the character, nor the character -rightly appreciated without a reference to -the circumstances. If one dwell upon the general -subject, one is forced to assert without any means -of proving; and if one take up a single particular, -although the proof be perfect in as far as that is -concerned, it is difficult to establish the connexion, -and point out the effect, with regard to the whole. -To examine society with a view to determine the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span> -general spirit and character of those who compose -it, is like examining an animal with a view to a -knowledge of the nature and operation of the living -principle. If we examine it while alive and in the -performance of its functions, we see the results -without being able to understand the machinery; -and if we dissect and separate the different parts, -we have the machinery without the results; nor -does it appear that there are any means by which -we can obtain a contemporaneous view of both.</p> - -<p>Thus, I found the character of the Athenians -different from that of the inhabitants of any other -city; and I also found many of the circumstances -under which they are placed to be peculiar; but -still I am not prepared to say, that the one set of -peculiarities are altogether to be set down as causes, -and the other as effects. The Athens has, doubtless, -stamped upon her people much of their character, -and they have requited her by service of -the same kind; so that any pretension to be profoundly -philosophic in the matter would be as impossible -as for my purpose it is unnecessary.</p> - -<p>The leading characteristic of the Athenians, of -all ranks, all degrees of understanding, all measures -of taste, all shades of party, and both sexes, is to -esteem their own idols in preference to the idols of -every other people on the face of the earth. Their -own situation is the finest that can possibly be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span> -found; and their own mode of improving it is superior -to any that could be suggested. Their men, -taken on the average, excel all others in wisdom, -and nothing can any way compare with the brilliance -of their women. In their manners they are never -vulgar; and in their tastes and judgments they do -not make half the slips and blunders which are -made by the rest of the world. The songs of -their poets (when they happen to have any) are -transcendent for sublimity and sweetness; and -the theories of their philosophers (of which they -are never without a reasonable portion) are ever -the most agreeable to nature, and the most nicely -put together. Upon the latter point they are -somewhat amusing; for in no place whatever have -philosophic theories been so often changed, as -among the sages of the succession of schools which, -shining from the Athens, have dazzled and illuminated -mankind; and yet, while each of these -theories has been the object of Athenian adoration, -it, and none but it, has been the true one. -In politics they have not, at least for a long time, -been agreed in their doctrines, or unanimous in -their worship; for in politics, interest has generally -much more to do than principle; and, being by -much the stronger of the two, and pulling opposite -ways with different parties, it has produced among -the Athenians, divisions which are as remarkable<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span> -as their union of self-adoration in most other -things.</p> - -<p>Whence, it may be asked, does this self-adoration -arise? To which I would answer, in the true -Athenian manner, by asking where the affections of -a widowed and childless woman, who has no hope -and no chance of being courted by another, are -centred. The Athens is a widowed metropolis: -she stands registered in the pages of history as -having been the seat of kings,—she has her walls -of a palace, her name of a royal household, and -her gewgaws of a crown and sceptre; but the satisfying, -the fattening, the satiating,—or perhaps, as -some would call it, the stultifying presence and influence -of the monarch is not there; neither is -there any vice-roy, or other kingly vice-gerent set -high enough in its stead, to attract the attention, -and invite or command the worship of the people. -Thus, she is in herself not only the capital of -Scotland, but all that Scotland has localized as an -apology for a king; and therefore, besides assuming -the consequence due to a royal seat, she puts on the -airs of royalty itself, and worships her own shadow -in the mirror of the passing time. She is the only -city in the British islands which is so situated; and -this alone would be sufficient to give her a peculiarity -of character, and to make that peculiarity an -inordinate pride.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span></p> - -<p>Thus the Athens, taking her nominal and her -real situation into the account, is both metropolitan -and provincial: with regard to Scotland, she has -the name, and assumes the pride, of being metropolitan -in every thing; and in as far as concerns -the administration of the laws as peculiar to Scotland, -and in some degree, also, as concerning the -internal discipline of the Scottish Kirk, she is -really metropolitan; but in respect of Britain generally, -she is nothing more than a provincial city, -and the matters in which she is provincial have, to -the full, as powerful an influence upon her rival -character, as those in which she is, or flatters herself -to be, metropolitan, have upon the character -which she is anxious to assume. It is not, for instance, -in the nature of things, that she can ever -take the lead in matters of taste and fashion. -Wherever the executive and legislative powers of -the state are allocated, it is there that the gay and -the rich will throng; and notwithstanding all the -boasted elegance and taste of the Athens, no Scottish -nobleman, or even squire, spends his winter -there, if he can afford to spend it in London. -Hence, the Athens is not only destitute of the -source whence fashion flows, but she is also left -without the means by which it could be supported: -she is second-rate in her very nature, and also in -those who form her leading society.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span></p> - -<p>But it follows of necessary consequence, that a -place which is second-rate in fashion and in wealth, -must be second-rate also in every thing which -fashion can encourage and wealth reward. A solitary -student who prosecutes a science, or a solitary -artist who practises an art, for its own sake, and -with an inferior degree of regard to present honour -and emolument, might perchance succeed better in -the Athens than in the British metropolis. But, as -British society is at present constituted, there are -few who have the means, and apparently not many -who have the desire, of proceeding in this way; -and therefore, the place which attracts the fashion -and the wealth, will also attract the superior talent, -in consequence of the superior means of rewarding -which it possesses; and upon this principle, it -would be just as vain for the Athens to hope to -rival London in any of the liberal arts, or elegant -amusements, as it would be for the Scotch lords of -Session, to rival the upper House of the British -Parliament, the George Street Assembly Rooms -to rival Almack’s, or the speeches of the Scotch advocates -to be read with as much attention as those -of the leading orators in the House of Commons.</p> - -<p>Of those classes of persons whose professions fix -them in Scotland, the Athens, if she manages her -patronage honestly and judiciously, may always -command the best. The judges and pleaders in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span> -her supreme court ought to be superior to the -sheriffs and attornies in the Scottish counties; her -clergymen, if those who have the appointment of -them were to be guided solely by merit, ought to -be the most learned and most eloquent that Scotland -can produce; the professors in her university -ought (under the same proviso) to be superior to -those of Aberdeen and St. Andrews, and perhaps -also to those of Glasgow; and, even in other cases, -she may produce one or two lights more brilliant -than the average in the metropolis;—but, in all -cases, where there is no necessary tie, real or imaginary, -to bind a man northward of the Tweed, -the Athens must be satisfied with making her selection -after London has been supplied. Or if she -deny the conclusion, she must also deny a principle -upon which her people know as well how to -act as the people of any place,—that whoever can -afford to pay the best, will get the best and the -readiest service.</p> - -<p>For adopting this theory, the Athens must not -accuse me, either of ignorance of her erudition, or -of a wish to detract from her real merits. I know -her more intimately than she may perhaps be aware; -and if I were to judge her by the strict letter of my -own experience, I should place her sundry degrees -lower still; and tell the world of some of the bitterness -which she foolishly squeezes into her own<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span> -dish, and some of the ludicrous positions into which -she works herself, by attempting a grace and a -dignity, which her nature and her education alike -deny to her; but I have no desire to state any -more than is sufficient to establish the truth; and -if she can point out a theory either of this leading -feature of her general character, or of any of -the more detailed and particular ones, which will -explain the phenomena better than mine, I shall be -very willing to adopt it. Meanwhile, however, it -is fitting that a city, which not only looks down in -scorn upon the country to which she owes her daily -bread, but which affects to sneer at those whom -she must notwithstanding copy, and whom it is -utterly impossible that she can ever equal, should -be rebuked for her arrogance, and resisted when -she would claim that to which she neither has nor -can have the smallest title.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER V.</h2> - -<p class="pc2 lmid">POLITICS OF THE ATHENS.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pp6q p1">“As when the sea breaks o’er its bounds,<br /> -And overflows the level grounds,<br /> -Those banks and dams, that, like a screen,<br /> -Did keep it out, now keep it in;<br /> -So, when tyrannic usurpation<br /> -Invades the freedom of a nation,<br /> -The laws o’ th’ land, that were intended<br /> -To keep it out, are made defend it.”—<span class="smcap">Butler.</span></p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">Although</span> the Athens be the point at which the -whole politics of Scotland have their origin and -their termination; and, although the parties there -be more uniform and incessant in their hostility -than in the remote parts of the country; yet, it is -impossible to understand the composition, spirit, -and conduct of those parties, without premising a -few words on the general question.</p> - -<p>Now, though England growls, and Ireland -brawls and fights, neither of them is perhaps so -degraded in its political system as Scotland. The -great body of the Scottish people may indeed be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span> -said to have no political rights at all; and the -members that are sent to the House of Commons -as the representatives of Scotland, may just as properly -be considered the representatives of Bengal -or Barbadoes, with which they have often fully -as much connexion, and in the welfare of which -they are fully as much interested. In the Scottish -counties, the real proprietors of the soil are not -necessarily the voters for members of parliament; -and, in the royal burghs of Scotland, the great -body of the freemen and burgesses, instead of possessing -the parliamentary franchise, are almost necessarily -in opposition to those who do possess it. -Freeholds, in the Scottish counties, are held either -by charters directly from the King, or by charter -from subjects as their vassals. No part of the lands -in Scotland being now in the hands of the crown, -the extent of holdings by crown charter cannot be -increased; and, as the rents of the crown vassals -were valued a considerable time ago, an increase -of rent, either from the improvement of the estate, -or from any other cause, does not increase its political -value. None but those who hold of the crown, -and whose valued rents are of the stipulated amount, -can vote for members of parliament; though, if -the valued rental amount to any number of times -the sum necessary for a qualification, the holder of -the crown charter for that rental possesses as many<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span> -votes as the amount will bear. In theory, therefore, -there is a difference between the value of -Scotch property in land, and the representation of -that property in parliament. The value of the -land varies with the prosperity of the country, -while the extent of the representation remains the -same. This is an injustice; but it is by no means -the only or the greatest one of which the Scottish -landholder has to complain. The property in the -crown charter, or superiority, as it is called, is -different from the property in the land: the lands -may be sold, and the votes retained by the seller; -the votes may be sold, without selling the land; -or the land may be sold to one purchaser, and the -votes to another.</p> - -<p>This system is productive of so many evils, that, -in many instances, a Scotch county representation -is substantially no representation at all. The local -interests and improvements of the counties are apt -to be neglected, the county interest is easily thrown -into the scale of any party or faction,—more especially -if that party or faction be subservient to the -administration,—and, as the county member, when -ministerial, has great influence over all the government -offices and patronage connected with the -county, the chances are, that these will be bestowed -upon persons who are either ignorant of their duties, -from a want of local knowledge, or disliked<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span> -by the independent proprietors upon party grounds. -The old and decaying families, whose fallen fortunes -force them to sell their lands, and whose -pride as well as whose interest induces them to -retain their superiorities, for the purpose of turning -them to political account, are thus ranged in -opposition to the more active and intelligent, who, -by the exercise of their own talents, have acquired -the means of purchasing land; and thus, independently -of the old and theoretic distinctions of -tories and whigs, there is perhaps more to create -and render conspicuous the distinction between the -liberal and the servile, in the Scotch counties, than -in those either of England or of Ireland.</p> - -<p>In the royal burghs of Scotland, the separation -between those who really possess the property and -are interested in the welfare of the burgh, and those -who are in possession of the elective franchise, is -still more glaring in its absurdity, and pernicious -in its effects. During the minority of James III. -of Scotland, in 1469, when that prince was only -seventeen years old, and when the turbulent nobles -were setting the laws at defiance, and, by bands of -armed ruffians in the streets, compelling the freemen -of the royal burghs to choose their creatures -as magistrates,—a statute was enacted, which was -deemed salutary at the time, but which has since -reduced the political influence of the whole burgesses<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span> -of Scotland to a mere nonentity, and made the -Scotch burgh representation one of the most convenient -and efficient engines of corruption that ever -was devised. That statute gave to the official men, -seldom exceeding twenty in any burgh, and generally -the mere creatures of some chief or leader, who -frequently has no connexion with the burgh at all—the -power of electing their successors in office,—that -is, of placing the whole parliamentary franchise, -the whole revenues of the burgh, every species of -patronage that it can exercise, and every alteration -and improvement that it would require, solely and -irretrievably at the control and disposal of about -twenty persons, and giving it to them and their -assignees as a perpetual inheritance.</p> - -<p>Now, although these twenty men should be the -most intelligent that each burgh could afford, yet, -as the people have no voice in the election of them, -and no control over the acts of their management, -however corrupt, pernicious, or ruinous, it is impossible -that they can be regarded as any thing else -than an useless and pernicious excrescence,—a local -despotism, of the most hurtful and humiliating -description, and a marketable commodity, always -willing to hire themselves to whoever should bribe -the highest. Circumstanced as they are, however, -it is impossible that they can be the most intelligent -men in their respective burghs. Being a minority,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span> -and a very small and insignificant one, public -opinion must always be against them; and this circumstance -alone has a degrading and debasing -tendency. The object of the leading men among -them must naturally be to preserve their own superiority -and influence; and therefore they must -naturally procure the election of recruits whose -wisdom shall not be dangerous to their own influence, -and whose feelings of honour shall have no -tendency to revolt at the iniquities of the system; -and thus, while the system is in itself as corrupting -as can well be imagined, it has a tendency to draw -towards it those who are both disposed and qualified -for being corrupted. The specimens of those -burghal office-bearers, which I had seen in the -Athens during the King’s visit, were to me a decided -proof of the badness of the system under -which they are appointed; and the derision in which -they appeared to be held by the people, and the -pleasure which their disappointments and rebuffs -seemed to afford, told plainly enough the estimation -in which they are held; and the Scotch are by -much too prudent and cautious a people not to -pitch their estimate, both of things and of persons, -in a very nice proportion to the value.</p> - -<p>Now, independently of its mischievous political -effects, there is something in this system which is -peculiarly injurious to the local police and improvements<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span> -of Scotland. If the way in which those -local rulers are chosen gives general offence, and -if their own qualifications be so confessedly inferior -as to excite contempt, it is not possible that the -regulations which they frame, even assuming that -they could be good in themselves, could be carried -into effect with that decision, and supported with -that cordiality, on the part of the public, which a -wholesome police requires; as little is it likely that -such men, so appointed, could either plan judicious -and liberal improvements, or carry them into execution. -Opposed to the people in their very formation, -the people must be presumed to oppose them -in every part of their conduct where opposition is -practicable, and so annoy them in the rest of it as -to make them confine themselves to that—to which -indeed the whole spirit of the system is exceedingly -prone—their own personal importance and aggrandizement.</p> - -<p>But it is with reference to the general politics of -Scotland as centring in the Athens, that this system -of burghal election exerts its most pernicious -and permanent influence; for whoever chooses to -go to the expense, (and where very weighty purses -are not run against each other that is by no means -great,) can purchase the votes of Scotch provosts, -bailies, and counsellors, with as much ease and -certainty as he could do the necks of as many<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span> -geese. No doubt there are temporary and local -exceptions, just as there have been wise legislators, -upright judges, and generous commanders, in the -very worst systems of despotism; but those exceptions, -from all that I could ever learn, have been -so few in number, and so far between, both in -space and in time, as not to diminish the truth of -the general likeness.</p> - -<p>If indeed any other proof, than a knowledge of -the system, and a sight of the men, were wanted, -to show how extremely convenient a tool those -Scotch burghal magistrates are, in the hands of -whatever party has the political influence in Scotland -for the time, that proof would be found in -the great pertinacity with which the official men of -the Athens have fought for the preservation of the -system, and the miserable sophistications to which -they have been obliged to have recourse in order -so to disguise it as that it might be at all palatable -to the better informed or more liberal official men -in England. Within the last thirty years, the -burgesses of Scotland have made two strong and -almost unanimous efforts to shake it off. They -have shown how ruinous it is to themselves, how -degrading to the magisterial office, and how ill in -accordance with that freedom which England boasts. -But the lords advocate and other keepers of—what -shall I say?—Ay—their own places, have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span> -worked about it and about it; and “darkened -counsel by words without knowledge,” till some -unfortunate circumstance of the times has enabled -them to couple the attempt at its destruction with -that with which it has no connexion—sedition and -rebellion against the British government. The one -attempt was spoiled by the breaking out of the -French Revolution, and the disturbances which at -that time took place in Scotland; and the subsequent -attempt failed in consequence of those grumblings -of the people, which were occasioned by a -time of scarcity of provisions and want of employment.</p> - -<p>The state of the country representation, and the -system of the burgh government, would be in themselves -sufficient to lay the ministerial party in the -Athens open to suspicion, and to fill the rest of the -inhabitants with discontent. But these are heightened -by other circumstances. The judges, and -more especially the crown lawyers, have a power -over the people of Scotland, at which Englishmen -would stand aghast. The judges (no matter whether -they exercise it or not) have, directly or indirectly, -the power of nominating every one of the -jury by which a Scotchman is tried,—or, if they -have not this power in its full extent now, they -had it till very lately. In the case of ordinary -crimes, this power, though a theoretical imperfection,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span> -might not be very dangerous in practice,—because, -in ordinary crimes, there is nothing to -entice a judge away from the natural dictates and -natural course of justice; but, in offences of a political -description, the case must be different,—because -all or at least a majority of the judges, -being persons who, at some period of their lives, -are helped forward by ministerial influence, cannot -be supposed to be entirely divested of those feelings -of gratitude which are natural to all classes and -conditions of men.</p> - -<p>The lord advocate of Scotland is, from the very -nature of his office, much more a political character -than any judge. In all questions between the -King and his subjects, or between the people and -the criminal law, he is not only the King’s principal -officer, but the express representative of the -King himself; and, except in the truly kingly and -glorious attribute of granting pardon, he has more -ample powers than the King has by the law of -England. It is true, that, through the instrumentality -of his attorney-general, the King can file -warrants against such of his English subjects as -are guilty of offences, tending to injure his person, -or subvert his government, and bring them to trial -without the intervention of a grand jury; and it is -also true, that this power has been exercised in -cases where neither the person nor the government<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span> -of the King could have been in the smallest danger; -but still, great as this power is in itself, and dangerous -as the frequent exercise of it is to liberty, it -is nothing in comparison of what the Scotch lord -advocate possesses. The attorney-general is always -understood to institute his proceedings in consequence -of a representation from the sovereign himself, -or from the great officers of the state; and, by -law, it is strictly confined to what are called state -offences. The lord advocate, on the other hand, -is, of his own pleasure, and without necessary consultation -with any one, not only the public prosecutor -in all cases of trial, but the arbiter who -decides who shall or shall not be tried; and, in the -latter capacity, he, of the plenitude of his own -power, performs all the functions of an English -grand jury. When a crime, either against society -or against the state, has been committed, or when -a person is suspected of the one or the other description -of crime, the procurator fiscal of the -district or burgh, (who, in many instances, is an -ignorant and bungling attorney, whose friends, or -whose secret services, have procured that office for -him, as much on account of his incapacity for -making a decent living by the ordinary practice of -his profession, as for any other reason,) takes -“a precognition,” that is, a secret and inquisitorial -examination of <i>ex-parte</i> evidence, which he transmits<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span> -to the lord advocate as the ground upon which -that officer may or may not proceed, just as he -pleases. If it please the lord advocate that the -party thus accused shall be indicted, he prepares -the necessary instruments; and the trial must be -begun, if the party accused shall petition the court -for it, within forty days of his being imprisoned, -and held to bail, and finished within other forty -days; but in all cases which come before the lords -of justiciary, either in their sessional court in the -Athens, or at their periodical circuits in the different -counties, the lord advocate is substantially -both the public prosecutor and the grand jury that -sends the case to trial. Where a special commission -of <i>oyer</i> and <i>terminer</i> is issued for the trial of -persons accused of high treason, a grand jury, of -not fewer than seventeen, and not more than -twenty-one, have a power of returning as true, or -ignoring the bills of indictment, if twelve of their -number shall be of that opinion. But, even with -this limitation, the power of the lord advocate, -more especially as relates to political offences, is -such as to heighten the animosity, which the state -of the elective franchise is calculated to produce, -between the comparatively small portion of the -Scottish people who are influenced by the hope or -possession of office, and the much larger portion -who are under no such influence.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span></p> - -<p>The distance of the Athens from the seat of the -executive and legislative powers of the empire; and -the colouring which it is possible that a representation -may receive from those who carry it to headquarters, -also tend to lessen the confidence which -the people of Scotland might otherwise be disposed -to place in the men who form as it were the official -links of connexion between them and their King; -and when it is considered how much connexion and -influence can do even at headquarters, it is easy to -imagine how much greater their extent must be at -such an outpost as the Athens.</p> - -<p>There would be no end of a statement of the -complaints which I found the independent Caledonians -had to make against their delegated authorities. -From what I saw in the Athens, and from -what I heard in my excursion over the country, I -could plainly discover that the people of Scotland -are perhaps more uniformly and more sincerely devoted -to all the better parts of the constitution, and -to the person and family of the King, than the -people of England; but I could at the same time -perceive that they felt towards the immediate -holders of Scottish power and office, a much -stronger dislike than is to be found in England. -At the same time, they all seemed anxious to make -it appear that those official men wished to identify -themselves, and even their failings, so much with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span> -the general government of the country, that they -were ever ready to denounce accusations against -themselves as attacks on the government; and -many instances were mentioned to me in which a -very excusable, and, as I would have thought, a -very deserved ridicule of a small man of office, had -been considered and represented as the very next -step to levying war upon the King.</p> - -<p>The tendency which the Athenians have to -make themselves, their sayings, and their doings, -the grand objects of thought and conversation, -helps to give currency and additional bitterness to -this political rancour. If a scrap of paper which a -procurator fiscal cannot read, or a sharp instrument -of which a loyal magistrate cannot exactly understand -the use, happen to be found in any district, more -especially in any of the populous and manufacturing -districts of Scotland, the chance is, that if -there be any symptom in the public mind which -sophistry can twist into an attitude of irritation, -the one shall find its way to the Athens as a seditious -circular, and the other as a rebellious pike. -The official men of the Athens have no great -knowledge of articles of these descriptions, and as -of late years the lords advocates in particular have -not only been a very sensitive and vigilant race, -but have been of those mental dimensions which -are the better for a discovery or two to give them<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span> -importance, there have, during those years, been -things suspected of rebellious propensities, which -would have been regarded as quite harmless in -any other part of the island. A merchant who has -extensive dealings with Russia, and who is also -concerned in the north sea whale fishing, informed -me that in the memorable year 1819, a few letters -written in the Russian character, and two dozen of -harpoons, were taken from his warehouse with -great ceremony, forwarded to Edinburgh at considerable -expense, and, as he supposed, cost the authorities -there, not only much profound cogitation -among themselves, but an application to the secretary -of state, ere they were sent back to him. Indeed, -were I to recount all the transactions of this -description that were mentioned to me during my -residence in Scotland, I should fill several volumes -with instances of the lamentable and ludicrous -effects of uninformed zeal in official men: to record -such matters would, however, be an attempt -to preserve the memory of persons and things -which no effort could keep from oblivion.</p> - -<p>In the peculiar politics of the Athens, it struck -me, that though there are only two parties,—the -men in office, with their connexions and dependants, -and the men who are not in office,—yet that -there are several distinct grounds of opposition, -some of which neither party are very willing to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span> -avow, and therefore they lump them all together -in the convenient cant terms of Tory and Whig. -Both parties are radically and substantially loyal; -and both parties, though in different degrees, and -sought for by different measures, may have a -regard for the prosperity of their country generally, -and for the glory and aggrandizement of the -Athens, in a particular and pre-eminent degree; -but still, their wars of the tongue, and the unpleasant -inroads which these wars make upon domestic -prosperity and happiness, are just as unpleasant -as though the one party were about to draw -the sword for absolute despotism, and the other for -blind and indiscriminate democracy.</p> - -<p>The Athenian Tories are perhaps the most -place-devoted race in the British dominions. Office -is their god; and, as is sometimes the case with -other devotees, their devotion is fervent in proportion -to the feeling they have of their own unworthiness. -In defence of that which they worship, they -have no more variety of voice than the winged -warders of the Roman capitol. Hence, as I said -of the burghal magistracies, they cling to each -other, and by that very means separate themselves -more from the people than the necessity of the -case requires. Their strength consists, mainly, in -those imperfections of the elective franchise, and -powers of the law officers of the Crown, to which I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span> -have alluded; and as those cannot well be defended -in argument, eloquence is of little use to -them, and they seem to have no great partiality for -those who possess it. When they make an attack -as a body, in any other way than through the instrumentality -of the law, (which they can employ -only when the waters of society are a little troubled,) -they do it snugly and covertly,—by letting -people feel that they have the dispensing of rewards; -by standing between a candidate and an office for -which he is qualified, or by something of a similar -kind. I was told that, at one period, and that not -a very remote one, they would hit a man whose -politics they did not like, through the medium of -his banker; but latterly, the will or the power, or -at any rate the practice of this, has been lessened, if -not abolished.</p> - -<p>At some periods, indeed, they have shown direct -hostilities: they have spoken and written with considerable -loudness, and considerable license; but -the system, at least the local system, of which they -have undertaken the championship, has not furnished -them with sound principles or satisfactory -arguments; and their mode of conducting themselves -has shown that they were deficient both in -skill and in tact. They have been exposed, certainly, -and ashamed of themselves, very possibly.</p> - -<p>The Athenian Whigs are a mixed multitude,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span> -and though they all agree in their opposition to the -other party, they are by no means agreed among -themselves,—that is, as far as I could discover, -they are not all influenced by the same principles, -or seeking the same object. The party who are in -office, have always among their opponents, and frequently -foremost amongst them, a party whose -principles and disposition differ not much from -their own—namely, the party who wish to get in. -As, however, those longers for office cannot, like -the enjoyers of office, support themselves by their -politics, they have no principle of union, and therefore -do not, like the others, unfurl the ensigns, and -raise the war-cry, as a party. Were they to do -this, it would not only defeat their own object, but -cause them to be more disliked by the independent -part of the people, than the persons who are in -possession. Feeding, whether with pudding or -with place, has a tendency to smooth the turbulent -passions; while hungering, whether for food or for -office, has an effect exactly the opposite. Hence, -even the Athenian placeman, whose appetite is -most ravenous, and who is prone to snarl at those -whom he suspects of a desire to take his portion -from him, is the more civil from being in office, -unless when he thinks that his honours or emoluments -are in danger. Upon this principle, he is -kind to those whom he thinks indifferent, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span> -polite, and occasionally generous, to all whom he -imagines can strengthen his influence, without -turning round in the end, and attempting to share -it with him. Hence, also, the place-hunter, I -mean him who hunts for it in opposition to the -present holder, is always irritable and jealous, and -keeps his wishes and his plans as much to himself -as ever he can. Thus, such of the Athenian -Whigs as would be placemen to the very core, if -they had “good opportunities for the ’ork,” are -careful to blend, and lose if possible, their peculiar -propensities, in the general mass of those who, -without any specific or immediate view to their -own personal interest, seek for a reform of what -they conceive to be the political abuses of their -country.</p> - -<p>In this way, all that is selfish among the Athenian -Whigs can be kept in the back-ground; and as -the principles which they abet are much more -rational in themselves, much more agreeable to the -general feelings of mankind, and much better -adapted for declamation, than those which their -opponents profess—when they venture to profess -any thing, the Whigs always have had, and always -will continue to have, the best of the argument, -and the finest of the eloquence upon their side. But -though they be by far the most numerous, and the -most specious, their chances of success bear no proportion<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span> -either to their numbers or the apparent -superiority of their cause. The opposite party -have the command of the public purse, and when -the two parties strive, they are thus enabled to -throw the expense of both sides upon their antagonists. -Such are a few of the principles and -practices of Athenian politics,—a war of words, -of which it would be no easy matter to define the -object, or calculate the end.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER VI.</h2> - -<p class="pc2">LAW OF THE ATHENS.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pp6">——“Lawyers have more sober sense<br /> -Than t’ argue at their own expense,<br /> -But make their best advantages<br /> -Of others’ quarrels, like the Swiss;<br /> -And out of foreign controversies,<br /> -By aiding both sides, fill their purses.”—<span class="smcap">Butler.</span></p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">Whatever</span> airs the Athens may give herself in -other matters, however she may boast of her taste -and her elegance, talk of her science and her literature, -or cherish the mouldering skeleton of her -medical school, no one can be a day within her -precincts without discovering that the law is her -Alpha and her Omega,—the food which she eats, -the raiment she puts on, the dwelling-house which -she inhabits, the conversation in which she engages, -the soul which animates her whole frame, the mind -which is discovered in every feature of her countenance, -and every attitude of her body. Once destroy -that, or remove it to another place, and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span> -pride of the Athens would be at an end: you might -lodge owls in all her palaces, and graze cattle in -all her streets.</p> - -<p>From the way in which the Scottish courts of -law are regulated, there is hardly a suit from the -Solway Firth to the Pentland, or from Peterhead -to the remotest of the Hebudæ, which does not -look toward the Athens, the moment that the litigiousness -of a client, or the machinations of an -attorney, call it into existence. I hinted already, -that there is no one thing in which the Athens can -now retain a superiority except the practice of -Scotch law; and, as Scotland increases in wealth, -that law is so constructed, that the portion which -the scribes and spouters of the Athens shall be -enabled to levy upon their countrymen must always -increase in a greater ratio. Scotchmen are apt to -be proud of the Athens,—to regard her with a -portion at least of that admiration which subjects pay -to the pomp of their kings. There is propriety in -this; for there is scarcely a stone in the walls of -the Athenian palaces, or a decent coat in her streets, -which has not been squeezed out of some litigious -or unfortunate man of the provinces, in the shape -of a lawyer’s fee. I noticed the power which the -crown lawyers of Scotland have over the liberties -and lives of the people; and the power which lawyers -of another class have over the fortunes of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span> -Scotch lairds, is every jot as ruinous and humiliating. -There are complaints in England, that -when once property gets into chancery, the “infant” -becomes grey before he can enjoy it; but the Scottish -chancery is incalculably worse; for the moment -that a Scotch proprietor allows his lands to pass -into the keeping of an Edinburgh agent, from that -moment he must lay his account either with losing -them altogether, or purchasing them anew; and -to enumerate the heirs of Scottish families, who -are at any time pining away in heart-broken obscurity, -or toiling under the burning suns of the -East or the West, in the hope of winning back a -poor fragment of the ample heritage to which they -were born, would require no trifling succession of -pages.</p> - -<p>It cannot indeed be otherwise. According to the -definition of the political economists, law is not -only unproductive labour in itself, but wherever it -clutches its talons, it tears away the funds by which -more valuable labour should be supported, and -distracts and lacerates the spirit by which those -funds should be applied. When a Scotchman from -the country visits the Athens, and sees a long line -of costly buildings mounting up in the air, he may -rest assured, that for every shilling that those -buildings cost, and every shilling that shall be -spent in them, he and his compatriots must pay.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span> -The Athens herself,—the overtopping and overwhelming -part of the Athens,—that part which -rises by the power, and extends itself by the -weight, of the law, produces nothing whatever. -It is as sterile as the Castle rock; and, were it -not for the folly of other people, its ascendency -would not be so great as it makes the Athens feel. -This, however, is a matter for the Scotch themselves; -and it sometimes happens, with nations as -well as with individuals, that a deformity or a vice -is praised and cherished, while beauties and virtues -are treated with neglect.</p> - -<p>It is matter of trite remark, that very few of the -seed of Jacob have ever taken up their abode in -the Athens, and that the few who have done so, -have in a short time been starved to death or to -removal; and it has sometimes been wondered -why a people, who have been so successful in pillaging -the other nations of Europe, should have -failed so completely in this instance. A very slight -acquaintance with the Athenian “men of business,” -as they are called, will explain the fact, and resolve -the difficulty. The man of business has all the -natural rapacity and cunning of the Jew, and he is -at the same time so well conversant with every -quirk and turn of the law, that there is no possibility -of calling him to account for his depredations.</p> - -<p>Those hounds usually pursue their game in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span> -couples. There is one who is called “the dining -partner,” whose business it is to watch for every -inexperienced or expensive man of property, who -happens to be spending a few days in the Athens, -get invited to the same party with him, ply him -with flattery, and when his weak side is once discovered, -inflame his vanity upon that. Toward -the close of the party, when the wine has circulated -with that abundance and rapidity which are common -in such cases, the dining partner becomes -large in his professions of friendship. The victim -swallows the bait with avidity; a meeting takes -place in the kennel of the hounds next morning; -and a loan of a few thousand pounds, being upon -a first security, is negotiated in a manner which is -quite fair and equitable; but the men of the law, -when they go down to “take their infeftment” -over the lands, contrive to suggest so many improvements -that the supply is speedily exhausted; -and, as it has created much more appetite than it -has satisfied, another and a larger supply becomes -necessary. The terms of this are a little different: -money, which was in profusion upon the first occasion, -is now difficult to be had. More than the -legal interest would invalidate the security; but -matters may be so managed, as to give a bond for -payment of the interest, and repayment of the -principal of fifteen thousand pounds, while ten<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span> -thousand only is advanced. The gates of ruin are -now fairly opened; loan follows after loan, till the -whole value of the lands be mortgaged, and the -whole rents consumed in interest; and when matters -have come to this situation, the men of business -press a sale at a time which they know to be -disadvantageous, and thus get into their own possession -property, upon the improvement of which -almost the whole of the sums advanced by them -have been expended,—are, in short, much in the -same situation as if they had got a present of the -lands, and only laid out a few thousand pounds for -their improvement. It is not the object of the -men of business to retain a great deal of property -in land; so they divide the lands into lots, sell -them at a handsome profit, and retain the freehold -qualifications, either to promote their own political -interest, or to part with them for large sums in the -event of a disputed election,—a matter which they -are often known to bring about for this very purpose. -Such are some of the blessings which the -legal men of the Athens bestow upon their country, -in return for the fees with which it has previously -fattened them.</p> - -<p>But, notwithstanding many examples of this -kind, there remains among that part of the Athenian -lawyers, who go by the name of “men of business,” -no small degree, both of talent and of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span> -integrity, while, among the “men of profession,”—the -advocates, or members of the Scotch bar, there -are a few, for the reasons that were formerly -stated, the very choicest spirits, not of the Athens -merely, but of all Scotland. Though the occasions -upon which these persons display their eloquence -be merely of a private nature,—though a very -large proportion of them have no eloquence to -display, or no opportunity for displaying it; yet -the profession of advocate is the only one in Scotland -which makes the professor of it a gentleman; -and among the people of the Athens, of all classes, -the special pleaders before the Courts of Session -and Justiciary,—the supreme civil and criminal -courts of Scotland, take a deeper hold of the public -mind in the Athens, and engross a greater -share of the public attention, than the orators of -St. Stephen’s do in the British Metropolis.</p> - -<p>One reason of this may be the way in which the -different courts are blended together, and in which -business is conducted. The Court of Session is a -court of equity, as well as a court of law; and -this is extremely favourable for the pleader, as the -two characters blended together in the same oration -give it a rich and popular character, which it can -never have in the stiff formality of the English -courts. Great part of the pleadings, too, are -written; and this not only keeps the inferior<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span> -speakers from lowering the general tone of the bar, -but enables the more celebrated to confine themselves -to such general arguments as are best calculated -for oratorical display. Another thing: criminal -trials, which are ever the most interesting -to the public, are not managed by the fag-end of -the law, as at the Old Bailey; and the counsel for -the prisoner is not limited to legal exceptions in -the course of the trial, cross-questionings of witnesses, -and motions in arrest of judgment and -mitigation of punishment, after the jury have returned -their verdict, and are beyond the reach of -his eloquence, however touching or powerful. In -the Scotch criminal court, whether in the Athens -or at the provincial assizes, the law itself takes -care that the prisoner, whatever be his crime, shall -have the aid of counsel; and if the crime be remarkable, -either from its enormity or on account of -the character or rank of the party accused, then -the very first counsel at the bar are ranged on his -side. These are allowed full scope, both to attack -the form of the case <i>in limine</i>, and to throw every -suspicion upon the evidence, and make every appeal -to the judgments and passions of the jury, that -ingenuity can suggest, or eloquence apply. The -official men who have the conducting of the prosecution, -are not only, generally speaking, men of much -smaller abilities than those who have the conducting<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span> -of the defence, but upon political grounds, as -well as from that general aversion which men have -to the sanguinary operations of the law, the feeling -of the public is opposed to them, and in favour of -their antagonists.</p> - -<p>There was nothing, indeed, with which I ever -was better pleased, or in which I felt Old England -so much inferior to her northern neighbour, as in -the conducting of criminal trials. One who is in -the habit of looking in at that great suttling-house -for the gallows, the Old Bailey,—who sees the hurried -manner in which the life of a man is, perhaps -justly enough, sworn away,—who listens to the few -seconds of advice, and the few trifling questions -put by the counsel to whom the poor culprit has -given the last shilling that he could beg from his -weeping relations,—who marks the anxiety of the -counsel till the case shall come to that point at -which he may coldly abandon his miserable client—the -very point at which an appeal to the jury might -turn the scale,—cannot but feel, when he witnesses -the slow and pathetic solemnity of the Scotch -courts, that he is among pleaders of other powers. -A case which brings even Theisseger to the bar, is -one of no common importance, and one never by -any chance finds the powers of Brougham, or the -acuteness of Scarlett, come in to save a poor man -from death. But when I was in the Athens, there<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span> -was only one trial for a capital crime, and yet the -legal sagacity of Moncrieff, and the burning eloquence -of Jeffrey, were exerted for full two hours, -on behalf of the prisoner; and exerted, too, in -such a manner as convinced me that the fee must -have been the very least part of their inducement. -I never heard objections put with so perfect a -knowledge both of the general principles of law, -or the specialities of the particular case, or evidence -so scientifically dissected, as were done by -the former; and the appeal of Jeffrey to the feelings -of the jury, and even to those of the judges, -was one of the finest things I ever heard. There -are many men far more learned in the law than this -celebrated Scotchman; and many who can take a -far more sweeping and comprehensive view of a -subject; but all the little sallies of which his speech -consisted, were as sharp as needles and as shining -as diamonds. Their brilliancy made you open -your bosom to receive them, and their keenness was -such that they would have pierced their way in -spite of you. Their effect upon the crowded spectators, -and upon the jury, was tremendous; nor -was the lord justice clerk himself, who seemed not -only a very proud and consequential person in himself, -but by no means a hearty admirer of the -barrister, able to resist the influence. Whenever -Jeffrey tore away a pillar of the evidence against<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span> -his client, and clenched the advantage by an appeal -to those passions which he seemed to know so well -how to touch, there was a general hum of satisfaction -in the crowd; the jurors looked up with eyes of -new hope, as much as to say, “we shall be able to -acquit him yet;” and the judge relaxed a little of -the lofty severity of his countenance.</p> - -<p>Another cause why the people of the Athens, -and of Scotland generally, set so high a value upon -the Athenian advocates, may be that they are the -only class of persons among whom public speaking -is so much as known. I do not mean to say that -the Scotch have no talents for this kind of display. -Quite the reverse; for instead of taciturnity, which -their supposed cautious character would lead one -to set down as their leading propensity, they are -the most loquacious people,—I mean the longest-winded -people that ever I met with; having, in -their common conversation, ten times as much -<i>badinage</i> and ornament as the English, and ten -times more concatenation of ideas than the Irish.</p> - -<p>But they have no subject to excite public speaking, -and no occasion upon which to exercise it. -Elections they have none, not even so much as a -parish-meeting, or a wardmote. The only persons -among them that have the privilege of electing -even their own local managers, are “the Trades,” -or little corporations of artificers, in the royal<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span> -burghs, who annually choose “deacons;” but they -usually do this more by the eloquence of liquor -than of words, and as the deacons are commonly a -sort of pack-horses to the burghal corporation, -they fall into most of the sensual and senseless -vulgarity which are the characteristics of it. -Churches and hospitals supported by voluntary -contribution, at the annual festivals of which the -contributors may make speeches, there are none. -Indeed, unless a Scotchman were to stand on a -hill-side and address the wind, or on the sea-shore -and address the waves, he has no scope for oratory; -and thus, come from what part of the country he -may, the pleadings before the courts at the Athens, -are quite a novelty to him, and he runs after -and admires them as such. Thus the total absence -of all eloquence throughout the country, makes -a very small portion of it obtain distinction in the -Athens.</p> - -<p>Curious as it is to find a city where every soul is -so much absorbed by the law, that men and women, -girls and boys, of all ages and all conditions -of life, season their common speech with the slang -of legal phrases, and destructive of not only all -literary and liberal taste, but of all the joyous intercourse -of life, as it is to hear every night a rehearsal -of Jeffrey’s sarcasm, or Cockburn’s joke of the morning; -yet the Parliament-house of the Athens is a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span> -spirit-stirring scene, and very delightful, compared -with the gloomy desolation of Westminster-hall.</p> - -<p>While the courts are sitting it is usually as crowded -as the Royal Exchange at four o’clock, and the -hum, and bustle, and eagerness, are vastly more -interesting than the solemn faces and demure looks -of the dealers in tallow and tapioca, who stand -under the shadow of the Grasshopper, with their -jaws distended like a trap for foxes, and their -hands up to their elbows in their pockets, as if they -could not abstain from fumbling money, even when -the precise minute of bargain has not arrived.</p> - -<p>It is true that you meet with no Rothschild, or any -other pawnbroker for kings, in this ancient apartment -of the Scottish Parliament; but, if you be -more a lover of mind than of money, you are sure -to meet with what will please you a great deal better. -Before the Judges have taken their places in -the Inner Courts, you cannot miss the tall figure, -the gleesome grey eye, the snub nose, and all the -other characteristics of the spirit of the wizard and -the soul of the man, that mark Sir Walter Scott. -A dozen of chosen friends, some Whig and some -Tory, hang about him; and, as he limps along -with wonderful vigour, considering the irregularity -of his legs, peals of laughter ring at every word -which he utters, and a score of fledgling Tory barristers, -who have not yet got either a place or a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span> -brief, stretch out their goose necks, huddle round, -and cackle at the echo of that which they cannot -possibly hear. In another place, or rather in all -places, the Editor of the Edinburgh Review starts -about like wildfire; and unless it be when an attorney -ever and anon brings him up with the sheet-anchor -of a fee and a brief, there is no possibility of arresting -his motion. He darts aside like lightning, runs -over the brief with such rapidity that you would -think he were merely counting the pages of an article -for the Edinburgh Review, and having handed -it to his clerk, who seems as heavy as himself is -agile, he again darts into the throng, like an otter -into the waters, and is seen no more till he bring up -another gudgeon.</p> - -<p>Wherever you meet with this highly-gifted personage, -you are never at a loss to distinguish him -from every body else. His writings, his speeches, -and his face, have the most remarkable family likeness -that I ever met with. All the three seem cut into -little faucettes and angles, which glitter and sparkle -in every possibility of light, both direct and oblique. -In the speech and the writing, rich as is the -play of genius on the surface, it bears no proportion -to the mass of intellect which it covers and -dazzles; and keen, acute, and purged of all grossness -and obesity, as is the lower part of the face, it -bears no proportion to the expansion of forehead<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span> -that towers above. Jeffrey has the most wonderful -pair of eyes that ever illuminated a human visage. -Even when he is shooting along like a small but -swift meteor through the crowd in the Parliament-House, -they are beaming so as to force you to turn -away your eyes, and if he looks at you, you find -yourself utterly unable to withstand it. When that -look is darting for any important purpose, such as -to ascertain whether a witness be or be not speaking -the truth, it is more searching than that of Garrow -even in his best days, so that the most hardened -tremble before it, and are instantly divested of all -power of concealing the truth. If, however, you -attempt to repay Jeffrey in his own coin, by working -into his mind with that sharp and anatomical -glance which he employs in dissecting the minds -of other people, you find that you are woefully mistaken. -Those eyes, which can penetrate to the -bottom of any other man’s heart, and expose even -that part of it which he studies with the greatest -assiduity to conceal, are a perfect sealed book to -you; you cannot see beyond their external surface, -and they give you not so much as a hint of what the -owner is thinking, or what he may be disposed to -say or do next. Wonderful as the eyes are, they -are perhaps exceeded by the eyebrows, and certainly -two such intellectual batteries were never alternately -masked and displayed in a manner so singular.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span> -They range over a greater extent of surface, and -twist themselves into a more endless variety of curves -than is almost possible to conceive, and while they -do so, they express all manner of thoughts, and utter -all descriptions of sentences. Few men have more -eloquence in their speech than Jeffrey, and I have -met with none who had half as much in his face.</p> - -<p>Another character in this reeling crowd, which -never fails to attract the attention of a stranger, is -that of Robert Forsyth. As far as one man can be -unlike another, he is the very antipodes of Jeffery. -He is large, square, and muscular, more intended by -nature, you would think, for breaking stones on the -high road, than for breaking syllogisms before their -Lordships. His face is coarse, broad and flat, and -as immovable in all its muscles as though it had -been chiselled out of a block of granite. As he -moves along, he turns his head neither to the one -side nor to the other; and indeed he does not require -it, for his eyes have that divergent squint -which enables him at once to scan both sides of the -horizon. The lines of labour are so ploughed -across and across every part of his ample countenance, -and they give it so knotted and so corrugated -an appearance, that you can easily perceive -he has followed more occupations, and been -attached to more sides of politics than one. Still -there is by no means the quiescence of a mind at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span> -ease upon the strong picture of his visage; the -lower part of it is fixed in something between a -half laugh and a half grin, and the upper part has -a firmness about it which tells you he is a through-going -lawyer, whom it will not be easy to turn from -his purpose.</p> - -<p>The throng is so great, however, and the variety -of faces, gowned and ungowned, wigged and unwigged, -beaming forth every shade of mind, and betokening -every degree of mental vacuity, is so perplexing, -that your eye and your imagination are -completely bewildered, and you cannot attend either -to individuals or single groups, while the buz of -voices of so many different tones and pitches give -your ears the impression of a very Babel.</p> - -<p>Business commences; the Lords Ordinary take -their seats—in places which make them look more -like as if they were standing in the pillory than any -thing else. But even there, advocates are drudging -in their vocations; agents running backwards and -forwards with briefs; clients watching the result -with palpitating hearts; and the Athenian loungers -hanging about, anticipating their Lordships in the -decision of the several cases. The well-employed -advocates now put you very much in mind of shuttle-cocks. -They run from bar to bar, making motions -here and speeches there, in the most chaos-looking -style that can be imagined. Of the whole gown<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span> -and wig mass, it is but a small portion, however, -who are thus occupied; four-fifths of the whole -keep trudging on from end to end of the hall, and -seem never to expect or even to get a fee; while the -bar clerks collected round the fire-places keep up a -continual titter at the repetition of all the good -jokes of the day; and the same scene continues day -after day, and month after month. You are astonished -that a place, the real business of which is -so dull and so dry, should have charms for so many -idle people; but except this Parliament-house there -is not another in-door lounge in the whole Athens; -and as the business of the courts forms the chief -topic of the evening’s conversation, many attend for -the purpose of qualifying themselves for displays -upon a very different arena. It is long before a -stranger can bring himself to relish this first and -most favourite of all Athenian pleasures. I, for -one, got tired of it in two or three days, and began -to be of opinion that, however much this fondness -for legal proceedings may sharpen the wits of the -Athenian idlers, it is but a sorry treat for those who -have no wish either to get rich by the acting, or -wise by the suffering of the law.</p> - -<p>When the business of the day is over, you can -perceive the veteran barristers taking council together -as to where they may be joyous for the night; -and the younger legal men of all descriptions hurrying<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</a></span> -off toward Princes Street, in order that they -may show themselves to the Athenian fair, before -they retreat to drown the daily badgerings in the -nightly bowl.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER VII.</h2> - -<p class="pc2 lmid">LEARNING OF THE ATHENS.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pp6 p1">——“As a dog that turns the spit<br /> -Bestirs himself, and plies his feet,<br /> -To climb the wheel, but all in vain,<br /> -His own weight brings him down again,<br /> -And still he’s in the self-same place,<br /> -Where, at his setting out, he was;<br /> -So, in the circle of the arts,<br /> -Do they advance their nat’ral parts,<br /> -Till falling back still, for retreat,<br /> -They fall to juggle, cant, and cheat.”</p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">IF</span>, in her metropolitan status as the seat of Caledonian -law, the Athens be fixed as the dog-star, -as the seat of Caledonian learning, she has been -and must be, changeful as the moon. If the wealth -of her lawyers “swells like the Solway,” the renown -of her philosophers “ebbs like its tide.” -The very same cause which raises the one,—which -makes all hearts envy, all eyes admire, all knees -worship, and all tongues speak the Babylonish -dialect of special pleaders, comes cold and curdling<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</a></span> -as December’s ice over every thing else; and though -there may be an occasional spring of the living -water of the mind, which has its source too deep, -or its current too thoroughly imbued with the -immortal fire, for submitting to the cold congelation; -yet such glorious instances must be few and -far between. Even in the law itself, there may be -green branches, just as there are green branches on -the Upas; but, like the Upas, the law, or indeed any -thing else which is so overpowering in its influence -as the law is in the Athens, must in itself monopolize -all the greenness, and etiolate and wither every -thing that attempts to grow under its broad and -gloomy shade. Whatever promises the chief reward -will, under any circumstances, always attract -the chief talent; and the state of the whole British -dominions, and of the Athens not less than any -other portion of them, is at present such as not to -be exceedingly favourable to the pursuits of abstract -and recondite philosophy. Luxury has found -out for all those who have money to spend without -working for it,—whether they have it as a legitimate -heritage from their natural parents, or as the -adopted children of that great nursery-mother of -idlers, the state, abundant employment,—full occupation -from every hour that they can snatch -from the pangs of intemperance and the pillow of -sleep, not only without profound philosophy, but<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</a></span> -without thought of any description that reaches -beyond the enjoyment of the moment; and the -number of these persons, especially the latter division -of them, is so very considerable, that, of the -remaining independent portion of the British people, -none can afford to be philosophic or learned -upon any other terms than those of being paid for -it,—taking it up, and following it as a trade, as -much as other men do the boring of cannon, or -the building of bridges. That this is unquestionably -true of the whole country, may be established -from the philosophical publications, whether regular -or periodical, which make their appearance at -the present day. Of the regular class, there has -not, so far as I know, been published, within the -last thirty years, in any part of the British dominions, -a single original work, that will transmit -the name of its author to posterity. There -have indeed been books, and books in which there -have been the details of new experiments, and occasionally -scraps of theories; but, like successive -days in the kalendar, the one has usurped the place -and extinguished the remembrance of the other; and, -at the present moment, the most unmarketable article -which an author could carry to a bookseller would -be a profound treatise on any of the sciences. -With regard to periodical learning again, (I use -the word “learning” as distinguished from and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</a></span> -even opposed to literature,) the case is very nearly -the same. The philosophical journals, of all the -periodicals, have the most limited circulation, are -the least read, and the least worth the reading,—just -because the proprietors of them cannot afford -to pay for the labour which it would require to -make them better.</p> - -<p>Now, if this be the case with the British dominions -generally, and with the British metropolis, -where every species of talent has the means of -being stimulated to the greatest exertion, and where -every exertion meets with the most ample reward, -much more must it be the case in the Athens, -where there is not only no adequate remuneration -for the labours of learning, but where there is a -more honoured and rewarded pursuit, constantly -soliciting the choice, not only of the Athenian, but -of the Scottish talent generally, away from it. It -cannot be hoped, that when a man of very ordinary -talents can get a comfortable living and honourable -distinction in society, by managing the estates of -Scotch lairds, or the causes of Scotch litigants, men -of superior ability will consent to starve in obscurity -for the love of learning or of science. Mankind -have become to the full as mercenary in their intellectual -as in their civil marriages; and the Athenian -muses, like the Athenian maidens, pine in unwooed -neglect, because they have no dowry.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</a></span></p> - -<p>The Athenian University was long the boast of -the Athens, not only as a school of philosophy, and -a school of medicine, but as a general school of -learning; and, with the exception, perhaps, of the -latter, the titles were, in the case of a few illustrious -men, well earned. Those times have, however, -gone by, and the Athenian university, pressed -down by the general circumstances of the Athens, -and yet more by the peculiar circumstances of its -own patronage, has sunk to rise no more.</p> - -<p>Universities, indeed, have much of the general -character of stars,—they shine brightest when all -else is dark, and fade, if they do not disappear, -when illumination becomes general. While the -people, generally speaking, are ignorant, they are -lights in the path of learning; but when the people -become generally well informed, they are not much -better than lumber. This would be their fate in -general illumination, under any circumstances; but -it is peculiarly so, in the circumstances under which—or -rather, in spite of which, knowledge is at -present spreading over the British dominions. The -same cause which renders abstract studies unprofitable, -must render the systems of universities -unpopular, except in so far as the name of being -there is necessary for professional purposes; and -where the name is all that men actually need, they -will not burden themselves with much of the thing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</a></span> -named. If it were not that there are such things -as fellowships, fat dinners, facilities for juvenile -dissipation, church and other livings, a key to -certain offices, and a general nominal eclât, which -in so far serves as a substitute for real information, -it is very possible that several halls in Oxford and -Cambridge would be abandoned to bats and spiders,—that -“the two eyes of England” would be -left “for daws to peck at;” and it was pretty -plain to me, from the general tenour of the Athenian -feeling, as expressed in the Athenian speech, -that, if the attendance of certain classes of her university -were not required for those who plaster -the consciences of Caledonian sinners, and who -bring down the tone of the Caledonian pulse, or -the Caledonian purse, her learned Thebans would -be allowed to deliver their prelections to the stones -in the wall, and the beam of the timber. In as far, -therefore, as I could see and reason from circumstances, -there is much, both in the feeling of the people -in the Athens, and in the causes by which that -feeling is produced, to render the decline of learning -certain on the one hand, while there is little or -nothing of a counteracting tendency on the other.</p> - -<p>In addition to this, in as far as the university is -concerned, there is the infliction of perhaps the -very worst patronage that could be devised or even -imagined. I have noticed already, what a precious<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</a></span> -piece of work the corporations, or, as they are -termed, “the councils” of the royal burghs are in -Scotland. In itself, there is nothing to render that -of the Athens better than any of the others; and, -in close juxtaposition with it, there is something -which tends to make it worse. The whole town-councils -in Scotland are, their attention to their -own personal interests excepted, ignorant, unreasoning, -and passive tools in the hands of the ruling -faction. If the actual leaders of that faction have -not their actual residence in the Athens, it is there -that they find the hands which do their work. -Those hands belong to men, who not only have -a better education than the Athenian magistrates, -but who perform more important functions, and -perform them in the face, and for the weal or the -woe of the whole of Scotland. To them, therefore, -the magistrates of the Athens are inferior; -and this circumstance, taken in conjunction with -the inferiority which the whole system of the Scotch -burghs tends to stamp upon the magistrates, renders -the said civic rulers of the Athens the most -unfit patrons of a school of philosophy, or indeed -of any thing learned or liberal, that human imagination -could devise. Not only this; but the superior -talents, at least the superior pretensions, of the -other functionaries alluded to, will throw the civic -worthies into their train as followers; and thus,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</a></span> -whatever patronage they exercise, will have to -sustain, in addition to their own sheer dulness, the -dead deadening weight of the party politics of the -country,—a combination of stupidity and slavery, -under which that system were either greater or less -than human, which could flourish in a rational and -liberal manner.</p> - -<p>When it is known that the provost, bailies, counsellors, -and deacons of the Athens,—seldom men -of any education, and never men of any genius,—<i>cum -avisamento eorum ministrorum</i>, (which, -being interpreted, signifies “without benefit of -clergy,”) have the sole power of electing the greater -number of professors in the Athenian university,—when -it is considered that the remaining ones are -nominated by the crown, in other words, by the -leading faction in Scotland for the time,—and when -it is borne in mind that the said provosts, bailies, -counsellors, and deacons, are little else than a pair -of bagpipes, upon which the said faction discourses -whatsoever music it chooses,—it will become but -too apparent, that the chances of having the professors’ -chairs filled by the very fittest men possible -are about as small as can well be estimated. -That ignorant men should have the power of appointing -professors of learning is in itself a very -great absurdity; and that the ignorant men to -whom such a power is delegated, should themselves<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[214]</a></span> -be tacked to the tail of a political faction for the -purpose of retaining places, contrary both to reason -and their own abilities, makes the matter, theoretically -considered, a great deal worse. I have -no wish to accuse the civic archons of the Athens -of wilful abuse in the exercise of this patronage; -but I have seen them, I have heard them speak, -and I have noticed the estimation in which they -are held; and, by a very charitable induction -from all these circumstances, I cannot help coming -to the conclusion, that they are totally incapable, -of their own knowledge, of determining who is, -or who is not, a fit person for being porter to the -Athenian college, far less professor of the humblest -art or science held forth upon within its walls, -not even excepting the professor of agriculture, or, -as he is aptly termed, “the doctor of dunghills.”</p> - -<p>Accordingly, though in times past, and not very -long past, there have been found, in sundry chairs -of the Athenian university, men who would have -done honour to any college in any country, I looked -for a continuation of men of the same talents and -eminence; but though I looked for them, I found -them not. The time has not long gone by, when -the principal of that university was numbered, if -not with the most learned and profound, at least -with the most elegant of historians; but I should -be glad to be informed of what person, or thing,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[215]</a></span> -or circumstance, the being that I found holding the -supreme sway in the Athenian university, and in -its metropolitan name, presenting himself before -the King, as a specimen and representative of all -the universities of Scotland, could write the history. -It is true, that the office of this person is not much -else than a sinecure, as he seldom comes before the -public, except when his name stands rubric to a -diploma; but, if an image is found with a wooden -head, people are apt to turn away, without any -very much examination of the limbs. It is said, -more wittily than wisely perhaps, among the fledglings -at the seats of science in the south, that -“whatever may be the walls, the heads of houses -are most commonly of lead;” and the saying might -be carried to the Athens, if it were worth the -trouble. I was told that, if at some former point -of Athenian history, this personage had not been -a bachelor, and the daughter of a quondam provost -of the Athens a damsel to be wooed, the -college of the Athens might have gone all unprincipaled -for him; but the Athenians are so prone -to drill holes in the glory of each other, that one -never knows how much of their story to believe.</p> - -<p>Still, if the nomination of the masters of Eton -and Winchester, and the doctors of Isis and Cam, -were deputed to the corporation of London, England -would tremble for her learned fame; and yet<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[216]</a></span> -no one can deny that the court of aldermen, notwithstanding -the mental and corporeal obesity of -which they are accused, are far more promising -patrons for such purposes, than the town-council -of the Athens. Their own election depends upon -a greater number of persons, and before they can -carry it, they must have some superiority over the -freemen of their ward,—the means of flattering and -bribing them, if nothing else; but, in the Athens, -there is not the smallest test of talent previous to -a man’s being chosen an elector of professors; and, -therefore, no pledge that he either will or can -exercise that function in a proper manner.</p> - -<p>The “<i>avisamentum eorum ministrorum</i>” has -no tendency to amend the matter; for the advice -which these worthies are most likely to give, is, -that themselves are the fittest of all possible professors,—a -proposition, of which the theoretical -doubts are great, and they are not lessened by -experience.</p> - -<p>The ministers of the Edinburgh kirks, appointed -by the same persons as the professors, -may be presumed to be appointed upon the same -principles; and thus, though they were conjoined -with the others, in the university nominations, it -would be but an increase of the evil,—the addition -of the political son to that of the political -father; or, as Professor Leslie would express it,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[217]</a></span> -“a combination of direct and retroflected dulness.”</p> - -<p>In consequence of these circumstances, the <i>eorum -ministrorum</i> have usurped every professor’s chair -in the Athenian college which can be by any sophistry -twisted into a compatibility with the functions -of a minister of the Kirk. After the very -Reverend personage who, as aforesaid, groans under -the load of the principality (not of Wales), the -chairs, not only of divinity, church history, and Hebrew, -but of logic and rhetoric, and the belles lettres, -are in the hands of the Athenian priests. Now, -though a parson <i>in esse</i> be the most likely person to -teach divinity and church history, because those -who are parsons <i>in posse</i> are the only persons that -are likely to dip deeply into such studies; though, -in a country where Jews do not thrive, it be a matter -of no great moment who shall teach Hebrew, -and though logic and rhetoric, as they are usually -taught, be no weighty matters, yet there are substantial -reasons why no officiating clergyman in the -Athens should hold any chair whatever in the -college.</p> - -<p>In the first place, the Kirk of Scotland, at least -according to her book of discipline, recognises no -clergyman who does not perform the whole of his -duties in his own person. She will have no “dumb -dogs who cannot bark,” and if they bark to the extent<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[218]</a></span> -that she points out, they will have no strength -left even to hunt syllogisms in <i>Bar-ba-ra</i>, or to nozzle -up Hebrew roots. The minister of the Kirk is, by -its constitution, presumed not only to reside in his -parish, and perform divine service every Sunday, but -to devote the whole of the week, that is, as much of -<i>every</i> day of it, as other men of a similar rank in -life are supposed to devote to business, to visiting his -people at their houses, and receiving their visits at -his own, instructing and catechising the young, -recommending the destitute to the charity of the -Kirk Session, praying by the bed-side of the dying, -and performing a number of other little offices of -religion and charity, which are supposed to be imperiously -binding upon him in virtue of his solemn -vow of ordination. Ministers of the Kirk are furthermore -not understood to purchase their annual -stock of “<i>Conciones Selectæ</i>” in the booksellers’ -shop, as is the case in some other places; and thus -every spare hour from the parochial duties of the -week is presumed to be taken up in preparing for -the pulpit duties of the Sunday. Hence a minister -of the Scottish Kirk, who is in the possession of -a cure, cannot, in conscientious accordance with the -oath that he takes when he is inducted, or with the -practical duties which he ought to perform, accept -of a professorship even of divinity or Hebrew. -Either the church-living should be such as to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[219]</a></span> -occupy by its duties and reward by its emoluments, -the whole of the incumbent’s time, or it should -be so altered as to bring it to this state.</p> - -<p>With regard to the professorships, again, it is -extremely doubtful whether even such of them as -divinity and church history can be profitably placed -in the hands of the parsons; at any rate, one would -very naturally think that the duties of a professor’s -chair should be sufficiently arduous for occupying -the whole of a mind as large as that which falls to -the ordinary run of clerical persons; while, in the -case of those of logic and rhetoric, the arts required -in the Parliament-House, the grand theatre of logical -wrangling and rhetorical display, not only in -the Athens, but for all Scotland, the clumsy concatenation -and leaden style which I heard, even in the -Athenian pulpits, are strong presumptive evidence -against the propriety of having them intrusted to -clerical hands.</p> - -<p>But it is not to those professorships alone that -<i>eorum ministrorum</i> aspire. Not many years have -gone by since the whole Athens was thrown into -confusion, because one of the brethren was not permitted -to squelch his carcass into the chair of mathematics, -and become the successor of MacLaurin, -and Stewart, and Playfair; and had he succeeded, -the Athenians would perhaps ere now have had a -clerical expounder of “Dirlton’s Doubts” in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[220]</a></span> -chair of law, and a holder forth in the Tron Kirk -wielding the anatomical scalpel during the week. -The objections taken to the better-qualified candidate -upon that occasion, were such as to throw considerable -light upon the feeling of <i>eorum ministrorum</i> -toward the university, and to enable one to -form a pretty accurate guess at what will be its -state if their unquenchable longing for it shall ever -be fully satisfied. The exception which they took -was a grave charge of infidelity, founded upon an -allusion to David Hume, contained in a note to a -purely philosophic book, and a book, too, which, -both from its subject and its style, was never likely -to get into general circulation, and would be read -by nobody, merely on account of the note—the only -part which was impugned as being contrary to the -canons of orthodoxy.</p> - -<p>It must be allowed that, if its patronage were at -all in decent hands, the constitution of the Athenian -university is not bad. The salaries of the professors -are all so small that if the livings are worth the acceptance -of men of talent, they must be chiefly made -up of the small annual fees payable by the students. -This is a very wholesome plan, and tends more to -reward every one according to his real merits than -that which obtains at most other places. The patronage, -however, with the three elements of civil -ignorance, political influence, and clerical intrigue,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[221]</a></span> -arranged against the single and undefined good of -the institution, is more than enough to paralyze all -the good which that principle, properly supported, -or even let alone, would be capable of effecting.</p> - -<p>Those evils have begun to pervade the whole -system. As the Athens is the grand seat of lawyers, -there will always be students for the law classes, -increasing with the increase that there is for lawyers; -but in every thing else the poison of decay has been -infused, and the decay itself has become visible. -With the exception of Leslie, who has written some -very flaming articles in the Edinburgh Review, and -some books in which the path to geometry is made -a little more thorny than ever; of Jamieson, who has -been most learned on slate and granite; and Wilson, -who has indited some pretty lake poetry, and some -pitiful political prose, of which he is said to be -now highly ashamed,—I did not hear that any of -the Athenian professors have put in a single claim -for immortality. Even in her anatomical school, -that upon which she rested her fame the longest -and the most securely, the recent falling off has -been great; and of all those who now shine in the -lists of her <i>senatus</i> there is none able to hold the -book for Gregory, or the scalpel for old Monro, or -light the furnace for Black. I understand that for -the fragments of her medical school that remain, the -Athens is almost wholly dependant upon private<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[222]</a></span> -lecturers; that the students pay their fees and enter -their names at the college, not with any view of -attending the classes there, but because the fees -and entries are necessary for the ceremony of graduation. -But for the celebrity of her professors, -the Athens possesses no advantages as the locality -of a medical school. From the nature and pursuits -of the Athenian society, there is neither that variety -of patients, nor that variety of cases, which is found -in cities even of equal population, where a large -portion of the people are engaged in manufactures. -That it is as good in this respect as Glasgow begins -to be doubted, as a considerable number of -medical students now attend the Glasgow college in -preference; and that it is any way comparable to -London, as a school of surgery, no one can suppose. -If the medical glory of the Athenian college -continue to decrease as it has done for some time, -that college will soon become, like the Athens herself, -a pensionary upon the law and the politics of -Scotland.</p> - -<p>But if there be those causes of mortality in the -college, there is not much hope of life in any of -the other philosophic institutions of the Athens. -Royal societies are no where much better than -coteries of old wives; and, judging from their -recent pursuits, that of the Athens can form no -exception to the general character. That a poet<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[223]</a></span> -and novelist should be the president of such an -institution, is proof that the number of Athenian -philosophers cannot be great; and however successful -and deserving of success such a person may -be in his other and lighter capacity, he is not the -most likely man to give soundness and solidity to -the speculations of philosophers. The fact is, that -with the exception of the teacher of a class, and -the editor of an Encyclopedia, (who are of course -but very heavy and humdrum persons,) and a -wisdom-struck squire or two, who take to the -amusement of the small philosophy of mosses and -muscle-shells rather than the small carpentry of -snuff-boxes and fiddles, and who would be quite -eclipsed in any other place, there is nothing in the -Athens which can be called an amateur philosopher, -and of the professional ones I have already -spoken.</p> - -<p>In their philosophical opinions, the Athenians -are an absolute pendulum; and when the history of -their swingings this way and that way is looked at, -they seem to be a pendulum which has no continued -stimulus of motion, but of which the oscillations, -though not fewer in number, gradually become -more and more insignificant in range. While -David Hume was lord of the ascendant, the Athenians -doubted every thing but their own wisdom -and importance; under Adam Smith, they considered<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[224]</a></span> -“moral sentiments” as being valuable only -in “theory,” and learned “economy” in their -“politics,” by bringing all their disposable votes -and vices to the best market. Under Robertson, -they knew all history; and with Blair, every sentence -was taken from the storehouse of the Belles -Lettres, and measured by the gauge of Rhetoric. -When Reid and Dugald Stewart turned the tables -upon the sceptics, the Athenians were entirely -composed of intellectual or of active powers, and -they were drawn and held by the sweetest cords of -association. With Playfair, they attempted to go -quietly to the very depth of philosophic systems; -and anon, they started to the moon with Dr. Brewster. -While Leslie was new, they burned and -sweated with him in all the ardour of radiant -caloric; and now they lie upon mossy banks, prepared -for them by Brewster, Jamieson, and Sir -George, and listen to the tales of Sir Walter, or -to the ghost stories of Dr. Hibbert. Thus have -opinions changed, and importances have faded -away; but the Athenians have in their nature remained -the same. So change the phases of the -moon, now beamy, anon blank; now pushing her -horns eastward, now westward,—but still the same -dark globe, without light save that which it has at -second-hand from another.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[225]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER VIII.</h2> - -<p class="pc2 lmid">LITERATURE OF THE ATHENS.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pp6"><i>Pol.</i> What do you read, my lord?<br /> -<i>Ham.</i> Words, words, words!<br /> -<i>Pol.</i> What is the matter, my lord?<br /> -<i>Ham.</i> Between who?<br /> -<i>Pol.</i> I mean the matter that you read, my lord.<br /> -<i>Ham.</i> Slanders, Sir.</p> - -<p class="pr4 reduct"><span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">IF</span> there be nothing by which the Athens really -profits so much as her law, there is nothing of -which she is so ready, or so willing to boast, as her -literature. That is, as it were, her Benjamin—her -youngest-born child—the darling of her dotage, so -to speak; and it is loved and lauded in proportion -to the lateness of its appearance.</p> - -<p>In the whole literature of Scotland there is, indeed, -a wonderful hiatus,—an interruption, for -which it would be impossible to account, if one -were not to look at her political and religious history. -Previous to the Reformation, the bards of -Scotland sung as sweetly, and her monks were as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[226]</a></span> -full and fabulous in their chronicles as those of any -other part of the world; and that dawn of intellect—that -day-spring of the mind, shone as warmly -and as well upon the bleak hills of Caledonia, as -upon the green pastures of more fertile lands. -The classical elegance, and the keen and searching -satire of Buchannan, the stern and stubborn eloquence -of Knox, and the polished but manly sentences -of Melville, will bear a comparison with any -thing that appeared contemporaneously in other -countries: but after them, there comes a dreary -and desolate blank; and while other nations are -rapidly running the career of knowledge, adding -book to book, and illustrious name to illustrious -name, Scotland appears not in the catalogue, except -in a manner which is even more melancholy -than if she appeared not at all. How is this to be -accounted for? In theory it would be impossible: -with the facts before one, it becomes the easiest -thing in the world.</p> - -<p>No sooner had the morning of the Reformation -shone upon Scotland, than her horizon was obscured -by the clouds of civil war; and scarcely -were her men prepared for taking up the pen for -the information and amusement of their fellows, -when they were obliged to draw the sword for their -defence; and that energy which in happier times -would have trimmed the lamp of science, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[227]</a></span> -tuned the harp of song, was obliged to struggle -night and day, if so be that it could preserve but a -spark of liberty, or even keep the life. That despotism -and debauchery, which Mary the Regent -and Mary the Queen attempted, through their -French connexions, and by means of their French -mercenaries, to introduce into Scotland, was of -itself sufficient to render the intellectual improvement -of the country stationary for an age; and -though the resistance with which it met tended not -only to preserve but to strengthen the free spirit of -the people, it forbade the cultivation of the arts of -peace. The conduct of James, all shuffling and -pedantic as it was, did not, while he remained in -Scotland, tend to make matters improve; and upon -his removal to England, Scotland may be said to -have been given up to that delegated despotism of -influence, which, under various forms and names, -has continued to afflict her to the present day, and -must so continue till an uniformity of civil and -political law be established over the whole island. -From the beginning of the troubles under Charles, -to the Revolution in 1688, the state of Scotland -was such as to leave literature entirely out of the -question. The great body of the people—at least -of that part of them who otherwise might have -studied, or rewarded the study of literature, were -not only driven from all places congenial for literary<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[228]</a></span> -purposes, but even from the fastnesses of the -mountains, and the caves of the rocks; and though -a Scotchman was occasionally returning from foreign -parts to let his countrymen know what the -rest of the world were doing, terror and oppression -were too general for promoting any imitation. At -that time, too, one half the extent of Scotland was -in a state of the most abject ignorance: the feudal -law, in the Highlands, was in full exercise; and -when all the chiefs could not read, it was not to be -expected that there would be much taste for literature -among their vassals. Thus, it was not till the -termination of the second rebellion in favour of the -Stuarts, in 1745, that the people of Scotland generally -began to have a literary taste. A sure foundation -for such a taste had, indeed, been previously -laid, in the provision that within every parish in -Scotland there should not only be a school, but a -school so regulated as that the poorest, as well as -the most opulent, might reap the benefit of it; but -up to this period, and indeed for some time after, -the literature of those schools was confined to the -catechisms of the church and the reading of the -Bible; and if any literary work found its way into -a Scotch farm-house or cottage, if large, it was a -treatise on mystic or polemical divinity, and if -small, it was a legendary ballad, or a sermon by -some pious divine, whose style was not the most<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[229]</a></span> -classical, or his language the most easily understood.</p> - -<p>It is not, indeed, fifty years since there was any -thing like a regular bookseller, or a printing-press -employed for literary purposes, in the Athens. -Before that time, there were persons who sold -Bibles, and catechisms, and ballads, and penny -almanacks, in divers nooks about Libberton Wynd -and the Lucken Booths; and there were printers -who, when a process before the Court of Session -became too voluminous, or when the parties could -not afford to pay for as many written copies as -were necessary, put the eloquence of the advocates, -and the wisdom of the judges, into types. An -occasional parson, too, would become so far enamoured -of his own powers of holding forth, as to -have a sermon, or homily, upon some question of -the catechism, or point of the confession of faith, -printed and published; but previous to the year -1780, it was very rare indeed to find an Athenian -bibliopole speculating in any literary work, the -price of which was to be more than sixpence; and -as for paying a man for literary labour, the Athenians -would as soon have thought of paying a -Lapland witch for procuring foul weather.</p> - -<p>With regard to the literature of the Athens, it -is worthy of remark that the time of George the -Third corresponded with that of Anne in England;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[230]</a></span> -and that when the style of writing south of the -Tweed was changing to another, if not to a better -model, the wits of the Athens were imitating the -Tatlers and Spectators.</p> - -<p>The era of the French revolution was a remarkable -one in the literature, if not particularly of the -Athens, at least of the rest of Scotland; and the -reading of the pamphlets of that time, which probably -the people would have been as well without, -led to the establishment of subscription libraries -throughout the country, and made those readers, -and in some measure critics, in general literature, -whose whole course of study had previously been -theological. But until very recently, the periodical -literature of the Athens was hardly deserving the -name. The Athenian newspapers were always dull -and spiritless, and while the politics of the Athens -remain what they are, there is no chance that they -shall become better. In the provincial parts of -Scotland, I met with several journals written with -great taste, spirit, and liberality; but in the Athens, -there is only one worth naming,—the “Scotsman;” -and that, whether through fear of the party or -from what other cause, I know not, I found not to -be such as I would have expected. I found it a sensible -production, certainly, and as much superior to -the others as can well be imagined; but it is by no -means what would be expected from people pretending<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[231]</a></span> -to so much intellect, and freedom, as the -party by whom it was supported.</p> - -<p>If the “Scotsman” had appeared in London, it -would not have produced almost any sensation. It -would have been allowed to take its place far down -in the list of weekly journals; but in the Athens, -I was told that it excited no small degree of alarm -among the official men. Just about that time, a -blow had been given to that bank influence by -which they had been in the habit of crushing every -opponent to their measures, whom they could not -get indicted and brought to trial; and this, together -with the strong and general feeling against -them that was at that time spread over the country, -and the appearance of a free journal, even at the -very seat of their power, which dared not merely to -dispute their principles, but even to expose their -practice, was enough to alarm those who were not -accustomed to any opposition, and whose hands -were understood to be not over and above clean. -When the early numbers of the “Scotsman” were -distributed over the city, spies were appointed to dog -the messengers, and take a note of those at whose -houses copies were delivered; and it was generally -believed that the lists were transcribed for the -edification both of the crown lawyers and of the -Athenian magistrates.</p> - -<p>But the greatest and most extraordinary step<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[232]</a></span> -that ever was taken in the periodical literature of -the Athens, or indeed of any country, was the appearance -of the Edinburgh Review,—a work, the -boldness, spirit, and originality of which were at -the time altogether unprecedented, and which never -yet have been, and probably never will be, equalled. -The Edinburgh Review was happy both in the -time and the manner of its appearance. Periodical -literature had been quite stagnant in the Athens -from the time of the Loungers and Mirrors; and -they had become too trifling for the awakened and -agitated spirit of the age. In London there were -some reviews, but the best of them were in the -hands of religious sectaries, who puzzled themselves -and plagued their readers with questions -which nobody could solve, and nobody would have -taken the trouble to solve, even if they could. -The whole of them were either tame or timid; -and folks continued to buy them rather with a view -of keeping their sets unbroken till chance should -introduce amendment, than from any desire to read -them. The war which had just terminated had -been expensive, and excepting those for whom -offices had been obtained, there was nobody with -whom it had ever been popular; and the war that -was beginning, or begun, had not much to recommend -it. There was, indeed, much to say against -the conduct of the Continental courts, and even<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[233]</a></span> -against that of the English administration; people -were well prepared and anxious to hear it; and -there was no publication of the day of sufficient -interest in any way to divide or divert the attention. -The Review came like thunder; and to -give it the more effect, it came like thunder when -the air is still, and when men are listening.</p> - -<p>Great, however, as was the talent displayed in -the Review, and wide and wonderful as was the -sensation which it produced upon its very first appearance, -the Athens had little merit in it, except -the mere name. The publisher, though he subsequently -rose as high in that trade as any English -publisher of the time, was then but a young man, -not much known, and not much recognised or -esteemed by the Athenians; the editor was also a -young man, recently returned from England; and -the most spirited contributors to the very early -numbers, had by no means had their minds -formed upon the Athenian model. The effect -which the Review produced was also not perhaps -so great in the Athens as in London; and it was -only when it had taken its place in the literary -world, and the acknowledgment of it was an honour, -that the Athenians began to identify it with -themselves, and at no time was the identification -general,—nor could the whole talent of the Athens,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[234]</a></span> -even when in its best days, have supported the -Review for a single year.</p> - -<p>Besides, though the real ability of the Edinburgh -Review was great, the vast popularity which it so -speedily obtained, and the brilliant course which -it ran, were unquestionably more owing to the -novelty of its plan, and the fact of its advocating -those political principles which were agreeable to -the majority of people at the time, than to its -merits.</p> - -<p>One cause of the rise of the Edinburgh Review, -and perhaps also one cause of its comparative fall, -is the uniformity with which it has all along followed -the Whig party. Before that party got -into office, and when, in consequence of their boldness -and lofty pretensions as oppositionists, the -opinions of the Edinburgh Review,—at least, its -political opinions,—which were all along the ones -upon which the greater part of its celebrity rested,—were -by many received as the infallible oracles of -truth; and when the trial which the country had -had of that party shook them a little in public -estimation, though the Review received a shock -along with them, it still retained a considerable -portion of its influence. But, as the opinions of -men became a little more liberal, and the frequency -of disappointment made them more and more suspicious<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[235]</a></span> -of all parties, some Jesuitical articles in the -Review, on the subjects of representation and reform, -shook the confidence of the people in it; -while, much about the same time, or, at least, not -long afterwards, the failure of its prophecies with -regard to the ultimate success of Buonaparte, laid -it open to the attacks of the Tories. For the first -of these suspicions, there appeared to be but too -much foundation; and though the latter was more -Jesuitical than just, still it was the interest of the -parties to press it to extremity. When the Edinburgh -Review predicted the ultimate triumph of -Napoleon, it did not, of course, anticipate, that he -would, with the example of Charles XII. before -him, undertake so hazardous an enterprise as a -winter campaign into the interior of Russia; but -the Review did not enter a caveat against such an -excursion; and, therefore, it was held as prophesying -in the face of this as well as of all the other -chances.</p> - -<p>I have noticed those circumstances with a view -of showing, not only that the absolute literary -merits of the Edinburgh Review were not the sole -cause of its popularity, but that even though they -had, the merit does not in whole, or even in the -greater part, belong to the Athens. The Athens -never could, of her own will, ability, and patronage, -support a single literary man; and it could<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[236]</a></span> -not well be expected that she could, for any length -of time, support a literary work.</p> - -<p>The first of these positions may be established -by a reference to the history of the whole literary -men of the Athens, as well as to the state which -they are in at the present time; and the second, -besides being a necessary and legitimate deduction -from the first, may be confirmed by an appeal to -the facts.</p> - -<p>Allan Ramsay was the first Athenian writer, -after the hiatus of which I have spoken; and -Allan addressed himself as much to the taste and -foibles of the Athens as it was possible for one of -so limited education and limited powers to do. -Allan made a comfortable living; but he did not -make that as a poet; he did it, first, as a hairdresser, -and then as a bookseller, and as the -keeper of a circulating library, which, being the -first of the kind in the Athens, proved a most -fortunate speculation. The works of Colin Maclaurin, -and some of the other illustrious men, of -which the Athens never was worthy, were put into -circulation as much in the way of charity to their -families, as from any love for those sciences and -arts of which they were the ornaments.</p> - -<p>Robert Ferguson was pre-eminently the poet of -the Athens. Born within her walls, he devoted -his muse to the chanting of her praises; and how<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[237]</a></span> -did she reward her tuneful son? Why, she blamed -him because he wrote verses rather than law papers; -she liked his songs, and she sung them; -but she would give him no reward for his labour; -and poor Ferguson, neglected, heart-broken, and -starved, ended his days in a mad-house; and his -ungrateful step-dame, the Athens,—that city, -which, if one would be silly enough to believe -her, is the model, the encourager, and the rewarder, -of all taste, would not do for him, what -England, even in her worst and most worthless -times, did for the poets whom she starved,—she -would not give him a monument,—no, not so much -as an unhewn stone, to let it be known that one -grave in the Canon-gate church-yard contained -holier dust than that of a baron bailie.</p> - -<p>Even when the immortal Burns came, to shame -a selfish, undiscriminating, and ungrateful land, -the Athens made not the slightest attempt to wash -out the foul stain which she had given herself in -the case of Ferguson. Burns put her in mind of -that stain, not only by the erection of the little -tomb-stone over his unfortunate brother; but in -a monument more durable,—a poem, which, had -there been any soul within the cold ribs of the -Athens, would have harrowed it with remorse, -that might have been a stimulus to repentance. -But the Athens took it all with that sang-froid<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[238]</a></span> -which is the concomitant and the characteristic of -reckless and self-sufficient dulness; and no where -in the whole history of literature, is there an instance -of neglect more mean, and ingratitude more -disgraceful, than that of the Athens, for Robert -Burns. She lured him, by fair promises, within -her siren and seductive walls. Day after day, -and week after week, she dipt him deeper in that -dissipation, of which she knows better how to set -the example than any city between Kent and -Caithness. She showed him about, from tavern to -tavern, from one evening party to another, and -through every one of her hundred scenes and sinks -of vice; and this precious work she continued, till -the prospects which he had left behind were blasted, -and his own powers and habits spoiled; and the -moment she had done this, she had the baseness, -not only to drive him helpless back upon the world, -but to slander his name for practices which none -but herself had taught him.</p> - -<p>In a word, when I look at the literary men, -whom evil stars have confined to the Athens, or, -in any way made to look to her for patronage, I -find a few who have succeeded, because it has not -been in her power to injure them; and all upon -whom she has had power, lost and ruined. Even -Jeffrey, if he had not had his fees to bear him out, -and if his journal had not been patronised in London,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[239]</a></span> -might have written his Review in vain; ay, -and Scott, who perhaps persevered longer in -writing in obscurity than any other author of the -present times, would long ere now have been -mute or a maniac, had he not possessed some property, -held a public office, and been a fierce and -forward party-man. Among them all, there has -never been an author in the Athens who has lived -even decently by literature alone,—as little is there, -at this moment, within the whole of her compass, -a single person above starvation, who has not some -other occupation or emolument, than that of a literary -man.</p> - -<p>The Edinburgh Review, the only periodical work -of any consequence in the Athens which professes -to be liberal, and which rests its character upon its -merits, and affords a revenue to any body, does -not support one literary man in the city, nor is -there one Athenian contributor to it, of whom -literature is the only or even the chief means of -support. Even the editor, well as it is alleged -he is paid for his labour, finds the wrangling of -the bar a more lucrative employment, addicts himself -more and more to it, and more and more withdraws -himself from the Review; while the place of -those Athenian writers of the higher class who -have died away, without being followed by successors<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[240]</a></span> -worthy of them in their avowed professions, -are not replaced in the journal by Athenian writers -at all, but by mere hacks of London, who have -been so long upon the town that nobody sets much -store by their lucubrations.</p> - -<p>The oldest literary journal in the Athens,—the -one which was once named after the whole of Scotland, -and which is now named peculiarly after the -Athens, is perhaps the one which should be taken -as the proper test of her literary powers.</p> - -<p>Professing to be of no party in politics, but to set -forth the literature of the day in an independent -and gentleman-like style, and having the stamp of -hoary eld, and the connexion of the foremost bookseller -of the Athens to recommend and push it into -notice, one would suppose that the Edinburgh -Magazine would be elegant in its structure, and -extensive in its circulation. But it is neither the -one nor the other. When I was in the Athens, -the reputed editor was one of those miserable and -pretending quacks who can write nothing, and -whose taste and opinion are not worth a single -straw,—a fellow, who would indeed pretend to an -intimacy with the illustrious men both of England -and of Scotland, but who never, by any chance, -could have been in company with one of them; -and who had been appointed to this miserable<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[241]</a></span> -editorship, because nobody who could write a -single page, or give a sensible opinion upon a -single book or subject, could be found, that would -have any thing to do with it.</p> - -<p>The great success of the Edinburgh Review -tempted the cupidity of other booksellers; and, as -there was no possibility of contending with it in the -same class of writing, or on the same side of politics, -a journal of a novel description, not only in -the Athens, but in the world generally, was begun. -The celebrity of the Review, and the superiority -of the Whig advocates, had given a Whig bias, -at least as far as speech was concerned, to all the -young lawyers of any spirit and pretensions. To -so great a degree had this been carried, that even -the sons of the most super-ultra devotees to the existing -system spoke against sinecures, and hinted -that there were such things as the rights of the -people. Great alarm was the consequence; because -the holders of office found that they would -be spoiled of their honours and emoluments through -the liberality of their own children. The fear was, -no doubt, groundless; for had they taken themselves -as a test of patriotism, they would have -found that office and emolument are not things of -such feeble power. But they were alarmed, and -cast about to devise means for reclaiming the wandering -boys back to the good old and profitable<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[242]</a></span> -path. There was a sort of simultaneous movement -on the part of the boys themselves. They had -taken up the Whig song, just because it was the -popular one at the time; and they had looked for -a share of that public approbation and renown, -which had for a considerable time been bestowed -upon the more illustrious of the Whigs. But they -were disappointed: either they had made an undue -estimate of their own powers, or the demands -already established upon this approbation and renown -were as great as it could bear. Considering -the quarter whence these unnatural infants of place -came, they were probably suspected,—at any rate, -they were left for a few years, dancing attendance -at the heels of the Whigs, in a neglect more contemptuous -and complete than was wise in the one -party, or fair toward the other.</p> - -<p>This happened just about the time when there -was a sort of movement against the Whigs on the -part of the Tories, and a sort of movement from -them on the part of the people. An appetite was, -in short, created, which called for food different -from the sapless husk of the Edinburgh Magazine, -and the hard and political fare of the Review. -Various causes conspired to give body to this appetite; -and Blackwood’s Magazine was the thing -produced. Still the party would not have had -courage actually to start that Magazine; for there<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[243]</a></span> -was a sort of belief afloat, that anybody, who would -venture to publish in the Athens that which was -not Whig, would fail, and anybody who would -attack the Whigs would be mauled for his pains. -The Magazine was started by very plain and unpretending—at -any rate, unwarlike Athenian men -of letters. They had a misunderstanding with -Blackwood; he got rid of them, and the Athens -began to taste the racy productions of the Tory -press. Even this cannot be reckoned an Athenian -production; for England and Ireland had to be -ransacked ere contributors could found, and even -yet, Blackwood, with the aid of his brother the -bailie, is editor.</p> - -<p>When a sufficient number of those who, as was -supposed, would not be kept back either by moral -or by literary scruples, had been collected together, -the campaign was commenced. At first, -they seemed to have only two objects in view,—the -vilification of all persons who were supposed to -be either directly or indirectly connected with the -Whigs, more especially with the Edinburgh Review; -and a disposition to boast of their own debauchery, -immorality, and want of principle, in -order to disarm any one who might attack them -upon that ground.</p> - -<p>Slander, especially if it be levelled against persons -whom the vulgar account it boldness to attack,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[244]</a></span> -and couched in careless and indifferent terms, is -always sure to please somebody; and, from what -I saw and heard, there are no people to whom it is -more agreeable than to certain parties in the Athens. -Accordingly, those opinions which, for half an age, -the people of the Athens had been taught to receive, -without so much as questioning their soundness, -were turned into burlesque and ribaldry; and -those persons to whom they had been accustomed -to look up with respect and veneration, were ridiculed -and abused. As those opinions and those -persons were alike obnoxious to the ruling faction -in the Athens—though that faction had never ventured -to express its dislike—they received the new -style of writing with no common degree of delight -and gratitude. Themselves and their cause had -been so long and so severely cudgelled and exposed, -that they had given up all hopes of having -any thing said in their favour. Therefore, they -regarded the productions of those, who took up that -line of conduct merely because it was the only one -in which they had even a chance of success, as -hearty and devoted champions; and the writers, -finding that they met with more patronage, and -patronage which promised to lead to more advantageous -results than they had calculated, became -more and more decidedly partisans, and waxed more -bold and barefaced in their attacks. A coarse and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[245]</a></span> -clumsy imitation of the biblical style, which would -have passed unnoticed, but for its local applications, -and its gross personality, gave very general -offence, and for that reason procured them a notoriety -which otherwise they would probably never -have obtained; and some cruel insinuations against -a venerable personage whom the whole country had -looked up to as a model, both of a man and of a -philosopher, were believed to give him so much -pain, when the decay of nature had all but put an -end to a long career of usefulness and celebrity, -that they fancied no one was too low or too high -for feeling their attacks.</p> - -<p>It must be allowed that both novelty and talent -were displayed in those productions,—at least in -some of them. The style and manner were altogether -new: a sort of virgin-soil, as it were, had -been turned up for culture; and though by far the -greater portion of its produce was weeds, and -weeds too of the rankest description, yet they had -all the vigour and greenness of a first crop. Periodical -writing had for a long time consisted -of abstract disquisitions, or tales which had no decided -locality, or connexion with individual and -existing character; and whatever may have been -the practices of the writers, they kept up a regular -show of sobriety and morality in their writings. -But the writers of Blackwood’s Journal not only<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[246]</a></span> -seasoned their productions with unsparing personality, -but affected to be adepts in debauchery, and -pretended to keep no secrets from their readers, -even in the most unseemly of their carousals. -Having manufactured ideal names and characters -for themselves, they treated these in the most unceremonious -manner; and this, in some measure, -took off the edge of that indignation which otherwise -would have been felt at their treatment of real -characters. More than any thing, they succeeded; -and success is generally received as the test not -only of ability, but of a good cause, in literature -as well as in war. If Blackwood’s Magazine had -never got into considerable circulation, the writers -in it would have been regarded as miserable and -malicious rebels from the honest cause of literature; -but as they were in so far successful, they -obtained in some degree the renown of heroes.</p> - -<p>Among those writers there were, unquestionably, -some of talents far superior to what may be supposed -the average of those who contribute to ordinary -magazines; and though these for a time took -part in the ribald practices of the publication, and -were pleased for a season with that eclât which -such practices are supposed to afford; yet still, new -in what might be considered as the most blamable -perversions of their talents, there were gleams of a -better spirit, and promises that they could not<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[247]</a></span> -always follow the same course. That some of the -best of them have already done so, is apparent -from the altered spirit of the later numbers, in -which there is an attempt at the same external appearance, -but a visible paucity in spirit; and the -probability is that, ere long, Blackwood’s Magazine, -which has always had a considerable portion -of its articles from London, will gradually derive -its supplies more and more from that quarter, or -dwindle to the same inanity as its monthly brother -of the Athens.</p> - -<p>Indeed, the whole tenor of Blackwood is of a -description which cannot be permanent. It offers -no principle upon which the mind of an unprejudiced -and independent man can dwell at the time, -and as little to which any body can refer afterwards -for the purpose of obtaining information. Personality, -if bold, daring,—or, to use one of its own -terms, <i>blackguard</i> enough, is sure to make a noise -at the time; but its interest is short in proportion -to its intensity. For the philosophic discussion of -any one subject, for the establishing of any one -principle in science, in morals, or in politics, or for -any one addition to the stock of human information, -it is in vain to look back at the book; and -though people talk about it (and they talk less and -less about every successive number,) at the period -of its appearance, it may be supposed to pass of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[248]</a></span> -necessity into the same speedy oblivion as the animosities -or whims by which it was produced; and -that future men will have no more desire to know -how written slander was managed in the days -of Blackwood, than they have at present to know -in what terms the ladies of Billingsgate rated each -other when the Tower of London was a seat of -royalty.</p> - -<p>Some may indeed suppose, that as this species of -writing is not kept back by any inflexibility of -principle from bending round all the sinuosities, -and accommodating itself to all the crooked paths -of corruption, it will continue to find enough of -support from the official men of the Athens, and -their coadjutors and underlings throughout Scotland; -this, however, is by no means the case. -Those persons have no love for literature of any -description: their deeds are such as will not bear -any kind of light, and the whole of their hopes are -centred in the one circumstance of the public’s -being kept in ignorance of what they are doing. -Like criminals under trial, their only chance is in -an attempt to shake the credibility of the witnesses -against them; and if they attempt a direct defence -of themselves, it is sure to render their offences -more palpable, and their condemnation more certain. -So long as public opinion remains, and the -whole appearances of the times give promise that it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[249]</a></span> -will continue to gather strength rather than to -decay—it is a tribunal to which none but those -who have a wish to stand well with the public -will be disposed to appeal; and therefore, how -much soever the official men of the Athens may -have been gratified by the attempts which the -writers in Blackwood have made to traduce their -political opponents, and turn them into ridicule, -there is nothing at which they would be so much -alarmed, or indeed have so much cause to be -alarmed, as an attempt at their own justification, -even in the same pages. As long as such writers -as those in Blackwood confine themselves to personal -attacks in the offensive way, so long will they -not be dreaded or disliked by that party of which -they endeavour to hold themselves out as the -champions; but the moment that they depart from -this offensive mode of personal warfare, and take a -single position upon the real ground in dispute, -from that moment the whole of their batteries, -whether they will or not, must be turned against -those whom they affect to defend. Thus, though -they may have been useful in effecting a momentary -distraction of public attention, they neither -have, nor can they overturn a single principle of -those against whom their ribaldry is directed, nor -establish one for those whom they call their friends.</p> - -<p>There is another thing against their permanence.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[250]</a></span> -Men, whether official or not, are never fond of -having that brought prominently forward in which -themselves do not excel. Now if one were to pitch -upon the very weakest point—the blank as it were -in the official men of Scotland, and of the Athens, -that upon which one would pitch would be literature. -The civic part of them, from their education, -their associates, and the whole tenour of their -lives, can neither love a book, nor, indeed, know -any thing about it; and if the opposition and -liberal men of the Athens, who after all are by -very much the majority, are utterly unable or unwilling -to support even one literary man, it is not -to be supposed that the other party who are fewer -in number, and ever fearful of exposure, can have -more ability or more disposition. No doubt, such -of the writers for Blackwood as know the extreme -barrenness of the ruling men in the Athens, in all -matters of taste and information, and the more -fond and forcible predilection which they have for -dining in taverns and carousing in ale-houses, and -who have marked that those ears which are deaf as -their kindred clay to every voice of elegance or of -criticism, are open as their mouths for a dinner, or -their hands for a bribe, when grossness usurps the -place of taste, and ribaldry comes in the stead of -science,—no doubt those writers have risked a -hope in supplying husks for the Athenian swine;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[251]</a></span> -but though the deeds have been immoral, the remembrance -of them will not be immortal; and -though there may always be a few that, seeking -their chief pleasure, and finding their only renown -in their own debauchery, are pleased to see deeds -worthless as their own,</p> - -<p class="pp6q p1">“Register’d to fame eternal,<br />In deathless pages of diurnal;”</p> - -<p class="pn1">Yet even this would not have succeeded with -the public generally, at any period, and it perhaps -could have had less chance at no period than it has -at present, when the rapid spread of intercourse -and information is, in spite of all official and other -efforts to the contrary, diffusing a more rational -taste even down to the very humblest classes of -society. Men in office, however inferior and second-rate -that office may be, and however mean -may be their own tastes, and grovelling their own -habits, will not—dare not, continue long to pride -themselves in, or even privately to encourage, that -from which the peasantry turn away in disgust; -and, ere many additional years have been added to -the Kalendar, it will be found that those superior -spirits who lent themselves to this work for a -time, in the hope that it would serve them as a -stepping-stone for getting into office, will become -ashamed of it in consequence of having obtained<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[252]</a></span> -their objects, or disgusted, because that which they -must have felt as a degradation, has to them, also, -proved a deception.</p> - -<p>But, whatever of good or of evil, of liveliness or -of licentiousness, of the misapplication of talent, -or the miserable labour of that which is no talent -at all, may be found in the school of writing, of -which Blackwood’s Magazine hitherto forms the -chief specimen, the Athens assuredly has neither -the merit nor the demerit of originating that -school; and if all support, except what the -Athens could give it, were to be withdrawn, the -remainder of its existence would not exceed one -month.</p> - -<p>Having heard a great deal about the intellectuality -of the Athens, and its superiority in genius, -in taste, and in literature, above every other city -in the world, I made a point of examining, with -all the care and candour that I could exercise. -I began too, with a strong, yes, a very strong prejudice -in its favour; for it had been rung again and -again in my ears, that, compared with what was to -be found here, the whole world beside was an empire -of dulness. But my fond, and as it proved to -be my foolish prejudice, became less and less, at -every step; and, whether I would or not, I was -compelled to see, that the greater part of the name -which somehow or other the Athens has gotten,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[253]</a></span> -has been gotten through the unceasing brazen-frontedness -of her own self-idolatry. In various -parts of the Athens, I found men <i>pirouetting</i> in -small evolutions of what they call philosophy. -One, for instance, worshipping the wings of a butterfly; -and another drawing lines and circles upon -a human skull, and measuring the talents and propensities -of the unknown owner very gravely with -a pair of compasses and scale; a third, taking up -the visions of Robert Owen of New Lanark, was -bewildering himself in an attempt so to arrange the -human race, as that the square of the oblique -diagonal of conduct should be equal to the two -squares of the base of nature, and the perpendicular -of education; a fourth was proving by coal -and limestone, that the globe had been boiled; -and a fifth, by porphyry and basalt, that it had -been roasted. One learned professor, the very apex -of the triangle of the Athenian science,—who, in his -time, has tested hell, as it were—has, in the ardour -of his inquiries after and into things hot and cold, -alternately deputed his</p> - -<p class="pp6 p1">————————“delighted spirit<br /> -To bathe in fiery floods, or to reside<br /> -In thrilling regions of the thick-ribb’d ice,”—</p> - -<p class="pn1">was reported to me, (for I did not <i>then</i> see him,) -not exactly</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[254]</a></span></p> - -<p class="pp6q p1">“To be imprisoned in the viewless wind,<br /> -And blown with restless violence round about<br /> -The pendent world,”</p> - -<p class="pn1">but to have made one of the most singular experiments -upon the said winds themselves, that ever -entered into a philosophic head. This learned personage, -whom the Athenian magistrates had at -one time refused to expel from the city “<i>cum avisamento -eorum ministrorum</i>,” upon the alleged -ground of his being a conjuror, had made long -and laborious experiments in all sorts of heating -and cooling, physical and metaphysical. When -other matters and fires were nearly exhausted with -him, it struck him that it would excite mortal -wonder, and win immortal renown, if he could -bring atmospheric air to a red heat. He foresaw, -that if he should succeed in this experiment, it -would be farewell to both gas and steam; and -there would be no need of dangerous boilers, castiron -pipes, smoking chimneys, and all the other -casualties of the new power and the new light. If -this degree of temperature could be communicated -to the atmosphere, the fondest dreams of mankind -would be realized,—the midnight air might -be rendered more glorious than the sun; winter -might be driven within the polar circle; the -precinct of the Holyrood might be made fragrant<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[255]</a></span> -with spices, and fat with olives; and the vine might -clothe the now naked crags, green with never-fading -leaves, and purple with perennial grapes. -That which promised so many and so delightful -advantages was worth trying, and so the philosophic -personage is reported to have gone about his -experiment in this wise:—</p> - -<p>He procured a bagpipe; and having dissected -away the chanter, the drones, and the bellows,—making -the stumps secure with ligatures, he -carried the inflated bag to a neighbouring barn, -and set two brawny peasants a-threshing it with -their flails, while he stood by, wishing and wondering -as to the result. What that result was, I -was unable to learn, and indeed I made not much -inquiry respecting it,—and I mention it only as -one of the many instances in which I heard the -Athenians boast of their philosophy.</p> - -<p>But if they have no literary men, as such, of -whom they can boast, they have about as little -title to put on airs about their literary taste. In -that, as well as in all other matters, they are -idolaters; and it may be truly said of them, as -was said of the people of the elder Athens, that -the most conspicuous of their altars is “to the -Unknown God.” So long as Jeffrey was deemed -infallible, they ventured no opinion upon any -point, until they knew how he had delivered himself.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[256]</a></span> -When, for instance, he had, as he thought, -blasted the laurels of Byron in the bud, the cry -that ran through the Athens was, “What a silly -fool to attempt to write poetry? But the Review has -done his business. <i>He</i> will write no more at any -rate.” When the retribution of the “Scotch Reviewers” -was hurled back, the worshippers of the -Athens were astonished, but they said nothing. -The fact is, that they neither have opinions of -their own in such matters, nor have they leisure to -form them.</p> - -<p>The observations which I had occasion to make -respecting the dramatic taste of the Athenians are -equally applicable to their taste, not only in literature, -but in every thing else. In youth their education -is too superficial, and when they grow up, the -drudgery of the law, to which so many of them are -doomed, and which influences the habits of the whole, -together with that dissipation in which they indulge -as habitually and more deeply than any people with -whom I am acquainted, give a turn to their minds -which is the very opposite of literary. These causes -will be more fully developed in the following chapter; -but there is one fact which is very remarkable, -which the Athenians themselves may as well be left -to explain. Of the men who, from time to time, -have become illustrious in the Athens for their scientific -or literary attainments, hardly one has been<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[257]</a></span> -born, and very few have been educated, within her -walls. They have almost uniformly been provincial -Scotchmen, and not a few of them have been students -at the provincial universities. So that while -the Athens has not much to boast of in the literary -way, the little of which she can boast is not wholly -her own. Perhaps this is another of the desolations -of the widowed metropolis.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[258]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>CHAPTER IX.</h2> - -<p class="pc2 lmid">EDUCATION OF THE ATHENS.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pc reduct">Just as the twig is bent the tree’s inclined.—<span class="smcap">Pope.</span></p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">IF</span> there be one cause to which, more than others, -we are to look for an explanation of those peculiarities -that distinguish the inhabitants of one place -from the inhabitants of others, that cause is education. -I do not mean that education which is given, -or attempted to be given, at schools and colleges, -but that which is produced by the contact and collision -of those with whom young men associate at -that important period when they are beginning to -think and to act for themselves. There is no doubt -that more of the character of society in the Athens -depends upon this circumstance than upon any -thing else, as, so far as my observation extended, -there is more peculiarity in the treatment of the -Athenian youth at this period than in any other -city of the British empire.</p> - -<p>It is to this education, for life and not for literature, -which I mean chiefly to advert in this chapter.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[259]</a></span> -Still, it may not be amiss to give a preliminary -glance at the school education, not of the Athens -merely, but of Scotland generally, because on that, -it strikes me, Englishmen might find something -both to learn and to imitate. The idea of having -one or more schools in each parish, so established -that no teacher can be appointed to them who is -not well educated, and so endowed that they can -never be corrupted as the free-schools so frequently -are in England, or confined to the most opulent -classes of society, as the better class of schools are -in that country, is one of the best that ever entered -into the imagination of any legislature. Even -in the remotest and most thinly-inhabited parish of -Scotland, the schoolmaster is a man of real information: -not unfrequently the son of humble parents, -who, finding that he evinced talents and a taste for -learning, sent him to school, and to some one or -other of those cheap universities in Scotland, where, -judging from the number of illustrious names that -they can boast of, learning is nothing the worse for -its cheapness, till he was qualified for orders; but -who, finding his influence insufficient for procuring -him the ease and indolence of a parsonage, took, as -his only alternative, the humbler and more laborious, -but unquestionably more useful, office of parish -schoolmaster. Young men of this description are -one of the greatest blessings that a country can possess,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[260]</a></span> -and rather than that Scotland should lose them, -it were more for her welfare that all the boasted -philosophy, and all the brawling law of the Athens -were at the bottom of the sea. They may be said -not only to pursue learning for its own sake, and -without any view either to honour or emolument, -but also to follow the profession of teachers from -the same disinterested motives. Since professions -more lofty and lucrative than that of minister of the -Scotch Kirk monopolized the sons of the wealthier -Scotch—since the free sons of the mountains went -to practise slavery in the west, and those of the -plains to get wealth and liver complaints in the east, -the ecclesiastical offices in Scotland have been almost -exclusively filled by the sons of the poor. These -almost invariably pass a part of their early life either -as parochial schoolmasters or as tutors in private -families. The tutors are those who have the best -connexion, the most ambition, and the most fawning -and obsequious habits. They are menial servants, -and with the education of gentlemen they are -sent to companion with butlers and valets, to humour -the caprices of wayward children, and to -hear the fooleries of booby “lairds,” and the scorn -of assuming dames, who can see no merit but in -being connected with this, that, or the other family, -which has borne the same name, and inhabited the -same lands since the first introduction of crows and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[261]</a></span> -cow-stealing. Connected with this office, at least -in the majority of instances, there are humiliations -to which no lad of spirit would submit for the sake -of the present emolument. The hope, and generally -the stipulation, of the tutor is, that his patron -shall, when he has drudged and degraded himself -for the requisite number of years, “bless him -with a kirk;” and this abasement,—this bowing -down before the patron, in order that they may, in -due time, rise to the living, is one of the chief reasons -why the Scotch parsons have swerved from -that independence of feeling and of action, of which -the example was set them by John Knox, and become -as willing and obsequious worshippers at the -feet even of delegated power, or of unmerited place, -as imagination can picture to itself. If it were not -that they are strained through this filter, we should -never have had them declaring, ex cathedrâ, that the -National Monument, a piece of gratuitous foolery, -or vanity, or political patchwork, was “a most -suitable and appropriate expression of gratitude to -the Lord of Hosts.” If they had not been studying -somewhere else than in their bibles, their answer -would have been—</p> - -<p>“The Being, whom we profess to worship, and -under whose protection we certainly are, cannot be -propitiated by votive offerings of stone and lime; -and the gallant deeds of our brave countrymen,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[262]</a></span> -however gracefully they might be chiselled on the -frieze of the ‘restored Parthenon,’ could not, in -the slightest degree, redound to his glory, although -they might, to a certain extent, flatter the vanity -of men. The offerings which He requires are not -swelling columns and fretted architraves: they -are <i>deeds</i>—deeds of justice, beneficence, and mercy, -done to our fellow men. After He has enumerated -the most costly and splendid sacrifices-just for the -purpose of declaring that in his sight they avail -nothing—He delivers this simple but heavenly commandment, -‘Offer to God <i>thanksgiving</i>.’ To propose -the erection of <i>any edifice</i>, therefore, as ‘a -most suitable and appropriate expression of gratitude -to the Lord of Hosts,’ savours little of the -knowledge and still less of the spirit of Christianity; -and if no edifice whatever could be such an expression, -far less could a temple which had been erected -for the worship of dead and useless idols.”</p> - -<p>The filtration, or winnowing, or whatever process -it may be called, which has separated and set -apart the more flexible portion of the educated peasantry -of Scotland for the peculiar service of the -kirk, has been in an eminent degree favourable for -the schools, which have thus reserved to them the -most independent and generally also the most enthusiastically -devoted to learning.</p> - -<p>I should have mentioned ere now, that the men<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[263]</a></span> -who fill learned situations, or are engaged in literary -pursuits in Scotland, ought, in genius, though -perhaps not always in education, to be superior to -men of the same description in England; for the -expense of obtaining any thing like a literary education -in the latter country is so great, and the disposition -to obtain it is so contrary to the habits of the -humbler, and even the middle ranks of the people, -that the range of classes from whom the learned -men of England can be taken, is far narrower than -that from which Scotland can make her election. -In England, a peasant or a small farmer never so -much as dreams of giving his son a classical or a -university education; and even among the wealthier -yeomen and tradesmen this is seldom done, except -with an immediate view to a church living, to which -if the person so educated should not succeed, he -returns back to the counter or the counting-house.</p> - -<p>In Scotland, again, though the gates, at least of -some species of knowledge, do not stand open so -widely or so long as in England, yet they stand -open to every class of the people; and thus, though -the population of Scotland be not one-sixth part of -that of England, the number of persons from whom -the learned men of Scotland are chosen is perhaps -greater; indeed, it is positively greater, for the -whole two millions of the Scotch people are in this -situation; and if all the classes in England who have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[264]</a></span> -the power and the will to educate their children be -counted, they will be found far fewer than this. -Now, as the means of obtaining liberal education -descend in society, the quantity of talent must necessarily -increase. In natural ability, a hundred -peasants, at least a hundred peasant boys, are not -necessarily inferior to the same number of scions of -nobility; and as the total number of peasants exceeds -the total numbers of the others, the whole -quantity of natural capacity must be greater. Whatever, -indeed, may be their differences after they -grow up, and when all the varieties of advantage, -opportunity, and habit have come into play, it cannot -be denied that there is a point in the age of all -classes of society at which their talents and capacities -are in the precise ratio of their numbers; and -it is equally true that, if they were all taken at this -point, and subjected to the same discipline, the -number of illustrious men that would be obtained -from each class would also be in the precise ratio -of the total number. But all classes in Scotland -have, from infancy up to a certain period, the same -facilities of being educated, and therefore, in obtaining -a supply of learned and literary men, Scotland -has the choice of the whole population.</p> - -<p>But this is not the only advantage that results -from throwing the gates of knowledge open to all the -people, for those of the poorer classes who are sent<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[265]</a></span> -to college have a chance of possessing greater natural -abilities, and being more assiduous and successful -in the cultivation of them, than those who -are sent from the rich.</p> - -<p>This may, at first sight, appear to be paradoxical, -but its truth will become apparent upon very little -reflection. The more seductive pleasures of youth -to which the rich have access, are, independently -of any other cause, sufficient to turn the scale in favour -of the poor. To the rich, the hours spent in -the prosecution of knowledge are hours taken from -the enjoyment of pleasure, and as such they must -ever be looked upon as a task and a drudgery. To -the poor, on the other hand, the hours spent in the -prosecution of knowledge are an abridgment of -labour more irksome and severe, and therefore they -must ever be regarded as relaxation and pleasure. -Besides, the children of the rich are sent to college, -not so much with a view to the perfection of education -in the meantime, and the profitable application -of it afterwards, as because it is the custom, or that -their parents and guardians can afford the expense. -The pupil who is born to wealth or to honours, considers -his literary attainments not only as a merely subordinate -accomplishment, but as one which stands in -the way of others that he deems more consistent -with his rank, and feels to be more consonant with -his desires; while he to whom the same pursuit is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[266]</a></span> -present pleasure, and the hoped foundation of future -honour and emolument, is certain not only to like -it better, but to pursue it with more zeal and success. -Of the illustrious names that have been famed -in the pages of Scotch biography, a far greater proportion -have sprung from humble life than are to -be found in the annals of any other country. The -fact is, that although the Scotch peasants have a -strong desire to educate all their children, it is only -the ones who are believed or found to possess a superior -degree of genius that are educated for literature; -and of the discoveries of original genius -that are continually making in the provincial parts -of Scotland a very curious book might be made. I -shall mention one instance of the many:</p> - -<p>The gentleman, who at this moment takes the -highest station among the philosophers of the Athens, -and who would have been entitled to no mean place -even when her philosophy was in the zenith of its -splendour, is of humble though highly respectable -extraction. His father rented a small farm in the -kingdom of Fife, and had it not been that accident -revealed the genius of the infant philosopher, first -to the village parson, next through his advice to -learned professors of St. Andrew’s, and, lastly, -through the wisdom of that advice, to the world at -large, his experiments might have been confined to -composts for the fields, instead of compositions for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[267]</a></span> -the furtherance of science; and his speculations, -instead of grasping the globes of the earth and the -heavens, might never have soared above a globe-turnip. -That the loss that science would thus have -sustained would have been great, even the enemies -of the philosopher (and there is no philosopher -without enemies, especially in the Athens) must -allow; for the lines of his discovery have not only -been boldly drawn, but have been drawn in situations -which no other philosopher has attempted. If, -therefore, the discovery which I am about to relate, -singular as those who are not conversant with the -modes in which genius, when left to itself, developes -itself, may consider it to be, had not been made, a -blank page would have remained in the book of -knowledge, which is now full and fair in its characters -of wisdom. The future philosopher, as was -once the case with nearly all the nascent philosophers -of Scotland, and may still be the case with a -few, not the worst of them, divided the year between -the study of learning, and the observation of -nature. When winter had spoiled the fields of their -beauty, and driven the shepherds and cow-herds -into the villages, he went to school, where the Proverbs -of Solomon, Ruddiman’s Rudiments of the -Latin Tongue, and Dilworth’s Arithmetic, by turns -expanded his wisdom, or perplexed his ingenuity; -and when the fields were again in flower and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[268]</a></span> -birds in song, he was sent forth to observe the progress -of vegetable and animal life, notice the revolutions -of suns, and feel the practical philosophy of -wind and rain. In order that there might be economy -as well as information in his employment during -the latter season, he was enjoined to attend to -the movements of his father’s cows, as well as to -those of nature; and until he had reached nearly -the end of his twelfth year, it remained doubtful -whether cattle or causation was to be the future -business and glory of his life. In the summer of -that year, however, the die was cast, and never was -turning-up more philosophically fortunate, or more -fortunate for philosophy. In one of those village -libraries, which often contained more rich variety of -lore than is to be found among the countless volumes -of even an Athenian repository of books, he had -found a thumbed and boardless copy of Simpson’s -Euclid, which might in its time have perplexed the -wits of ten successive classes at St. Andrew’s. By -that strong intuition which ever characterizes superior -genius, even at its earliest dawn, he found out -that this was a volume worthy of being read, and -throwing aside the Shorter Catechism of the Kirk, -which had been furnished him by his parents for -his recreation, as well as the exploits of George Buchannan, -the History of Buckhaven, the exquisite -biography of Paddy from Cork, and the sweet<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[269]</a></span> -songs of Sir James the Rose, and the Laird of Coull’s -Ghost, with which he had contrived to furnish himself, -he set fondly and furiously to work upon -Simpson’s Euclid, preparing his floor, and drawing -his diagrams in the same manner, though not exactly -in the same materials, as the philosophers of -antiquity. The smooth grassy sod answered all -the purposes of the abacus, and the cows generously -supplied him in a substitute for the sand. Spreading -and smoothing that substitute with his bare -foot, he engraved upon it with his finger the mystic -lines and letters; and, with book in hand, proceeded -to establish the elementary principles of geometry, -heedless though the cows should, in the mean time, -scale the fence, and carry the neighbouring corn by -a <i>coupe de la bouche</i>.</p> - -<p>One day as he was occupied in this learned work, -the parson of the village happened to be on the -other side of the hedge, pacing backwards and forwards, -and cudgelling his reluctant and retentive -brains for as much of the raw material of sermonizing -as would serve to put him and his parishioners -over the ensuing Sunday. While he paced and -pleaded with the sluggish spirit, his ear was assailed -by a continued <i>mumbling</i> of voice through the -hedge, which caught so much stronger a hold of -him than he could do of his sermon, that his steps -and his study were both brought to a dead stand,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[270]</a></span> -and his outward ears perked up in the fondest attitude -of listening. Ministers as well as men often -remember the words of that of which they were -never able to grapple with the meaning; and thus, -though the old parson did not exactly comprehend -the extent of that proposition, the diagram of which -the young philosopher had traced upon his soft -abacus, and the demonstration of which he was rehearsing -in very solemn tones, yet he remembered -that such words had been used by one of the professors -in that part of his academic course which -he had never understood. That which is known is -always simple, and that which is not known, however -simple it may be in itself, is always accounted -the very depth of wisdom. The parson was astonished, -and, for a moment, he doubted the evidence -of those ears upon which he had had to depend -through a long life. He tried the one, it caught, -“The angles at the base of an isosceles triangle;” -he tried the other, it continued the enunciation, -“are equal to one another.” He poked his head -half way through the hedge, and the auxiliary testimony -of his eyes and spectacles confirmed that of -his ears. He saw the abacus, the book, and the -student, and forthwith descended to the village, big -and puffing with the tale. A visit from the parson -at any other hour than that of dinner, is always an -ominous matter to some of the family of a Scotch<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[271]</a></span> -peasant. If the young folks be children they dread -the catechism. If more advanced, there are occasional -terrors of that Scotch tread-mill, which is -trodden alone and in presence of the assembled -congregation. The mother of the philosopher had -nothing to dread upon either of those grounds, -but still she felt all the glow of a woman’s curiosity, -when the parson approached her husband with so -hasty steps and so important looks.</p> - -<p>“Well, Mr. Lascelles,” said the parson, “you -must take care of Jock, and that forthwith, for I -am thinking that he is a <i>genus</i>.”</p> - -<p>“I am very sorry to hear it, Sir,” replied Mr. -Lascelles, lifting his bonnet, “but he is very -young, and will get steadier as he grows up. Has -he been letting the cows eat your corn?”</p> - -<p>“The Lord forbid either the one thing or the -other,” said the parson. “He is a genus, a mathematical -genus, and will be an honour to the -parish when we are both dead and gone.”</p> - -<p>The father now understood that the words which -he had at first considered as lamentation were laudatory; -the fatted calf was killed, the parson was -feasted, the boy taken from the cows, and sent to -college; and the result is—a perfect Anak in philosophy.——</p> - -<p>That the literary men of Scotland are drawn -from the whole range of the population is not only<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[272]</a></span> -in favour of themselves; it is also highly advantageous -to the humbler classes of the people. In as -far, indeed, as merely literary men are concerned, -the advantage to Scotland is by no means great, -because in Scotland they meet with but little reward -to stimulate their exertions. And hence they -are obliged to scatter themselves over the world. -But still, the number that remain, and fill the duties -of parochial and other teachers throughout the -country, are superior, not in degree merely, but -absolutely in kind, to the teachers of youth, more -especially youth of the poorer classes, in any other -part of the country. In England, for instance, -when a man of general information undertakes the -office of teacher, he does it either with the hope of -making a fortune by teaching the children of the -rich, or as a matter of necessity, and as a dernier -resort after having been unfortunate in teaching -the children of the poor. But one who is to have -any chance of succeeding in the communication of -any thing else than the mere mechanism of reading, -writing, and casting accounts, which after all does -not deserve the name of education, must love his -profession for its own sake, and look upon the exercise -of it as an honour,—which, in one that instructs -the children of the lower orders, can never -be the case, unless he himself has been educated as -one of those orders. It is quite natural, and it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[273]</a></span> -is also quite true, that the education which is most -beneficial for any one class of society, can neither -be imparted nor purchased by any other class. -Charity schools will never be held in much estimation -by any one who has seen the progress of those -poor children for whose education their own parents -pay. There is something in the receiving of any -kind of charity which is humiliating and debasing; -and to bestow a charitable education upon the -whole or the greater part of the labouring classes -in the country, would be the surest means not only -of leaving them nearly uneducated, but of destroying -their virtue and diminishing their usefulness.</p> - -<p>It is to the absence of this humiliating mode of -being instructed, and the presence of one infinitely -better and more rational, that the grand peculiarity -of the Athens, and remarkably of the provincial parts -of Scotland, is chiefly to be attributed. The smallness -of Scotch and even of Athenian society, the -limited number even of the labouring classes, who, -except in Glasgow, and perhaps a place or two -more, are all intimately known, as well in their -connexions as in their individual characters, and -perhaps also the low rate of wages, and the fewer -facilities to solitary dissipation, may no doubt account -for some portion of the intelligence and -virtue of the humbler Scotch. But still, in as far -as those circumstances operate, they must operate<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[274]</a></span> -upon the higher classes as well as the lower; and, -as the higher classes in Scotland have no such -superiority over the higher classes in other countries, -as the lower have over the lower, there must -be some special cause which operates in favour of -the Scotch peasantry. I have looked round for -causes; I have found none except those remarkable -advantages in respect of teachers of education, -(unless, perhaps, it be that the sober and simple -Kirk of Scotland has a more wholesome influence -upon the poor than a more showy and aristocratical -establishment can exert,) and I think I discovered -that those advantages are quite sufficient to account -for the fact.</p> - -<p>If there were not something in education that -made strongly and peculiarly in favour of the -Scotch peasantry, why should they be decidedly -before the peasantry of England, both in talent and -civilization, while not merely the upper ranks of -the provincial Scotch, but even the learned and -official scribes (and pharisees) of the Athens, are so -markedly and so monstrously behind? This circumstance, -unaccustomed as kings may well be -supposed to be to rigorous philosophic observation, -did not escape the notice of George the Fourth. -He expressed no unusual admiration at the polish -of the Scotch peers, the elegance of the Scotch -ladies, the learning of the Scotch professors and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[275]</a></span> -parsons, or the worshipful appearance of the Scotch -magistrates; but the Scotch people, the crowds -who shouted his welcome on his arrival, and who -cheered him every time he appeared in public, -were a source of wonder and a theme for admiration,—and -a proof, against which there is no arguing, -that if people receive the education of gentlemen, -their habits will correspond, however scanty -their earnings or scanty their abodes.</p> - -<p>In the Athens, this relative superiority of the -humbler classes over those whom chance, ancestry, -or office has set up into the high places, is not only -more remarkable than in any other locality that I -ever visited, but the most remarkable, at least the -most admirable feature in the character of the -Athens herself.</p> - -<p>I have said, and I dare themselves to deny it, that -her men in office are a trifling and a truckling race; -I have said, and I dare themselves to deny it, that -a great mass of her scribes unite some of the worst -propensities of the Jew, with none of the best of -the attorney; I have said, and I dare them to -deny it, that her schools of philosophy have “fallen -into the sear and yellow leaf,” and that her philosophical -societies pursue trifles from which even -school-boys would turn with disdain; and I have -said, that her <i>gentry</i> have neither the capacity nor -the means of encouraging the sciences, literature,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[276]</a></span> -and the fine arts; but though I have said thus, -and said it from personal—perhaps painful, observation, -I am bound to add, that in point of intellect, -and all matters considered in point of conduct, -the populace of the Athens are far superior to any -with which I am acquainted. When I visited the -public libraries, the men whom I found borrowing -the classical and philosophical books wore aprons, -while the occasional lady or gentleman that I saw -there, was satisfied with the romance of the week, -or the pamphlet of the day.</p> - -<p>This accumulation of intellect among the lower -and labouring classes is a delightful thing,—when -contemplated as studying history or philosophy, or -sporting itself with the finest productions of genius. -In this calmness and tranquillity it puts one in -mind of the blue expanse of the interminable and -unfathomable ocean; its immensity makes you feel -it sublime; its depth tints it with that transparent -green which the eye never wearies in contemplating,—but, -when the wind is up, when the billows -heave their masses, dash their spray to the heavens, -and deafen the ends of the earth with their roar, -the ocean becomes a fearful and a formidable thing; -and, when the winds of oppression chafe it, so is a -population so learned, and so linked together, as -the labouring classes of the Athens.</p> - -<p>In the great manufacturing or commercial towns<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[277]</a></span> -of England, and even, and perhaps to fully as great -a degree, in the British metropolis, one finds the -labourers and operative mechanics, though strong -enough at their labour, and skilful enough at their -craft, far down indeed in the intellectual scale,—reduced -from their want of emulation to seek their -relaxation and their pleasure in the indulgence of -their merely animal appetites, and forced, through -the want of proper education at the outset, and -fit means of obtaining or extending it afterwards, -to spend their evenings in ale-houses, and rest their -distinctions of honour and superiority on brawls -and fights. In Scotland generally, and in the -Athens in particular, it is very different. Almost -the whole of the working classes there have got -such an education in their youth as not only would -qualify them for ultimately being masters in their -respective trades, but which gives them an insatiable -thirst, not for technical knowledge in their -own professions merely, but for knowledge in general. -If one were to follow them home, after the -hours of their labour are over, one would not find -them besotting themselves with beer, and discussing -the circumstances of a prize-fight, in clouds of -smoke over a dirty newspaper, which the reader -has to spell as he gets on. No doubt they have -their carousals, and when they do drink, they drink -deeply; but it is not so much for the love of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[278]</a></span> -dissipation, as for some public or brotherly measure -which brings them together. You find one man -laying aside his apron to consult Adam Smith, dispute -with Malthus, or re-judge the judges of the -Edinburgh Review; another will be found solving -mathematical problems, or constructing architectural -plans; and all the less proficient will be found -attending evening classes, at which they are instructed -by able teachers, and for reasonable fees.</p> - -<p>Society is indeed, as it were, reversed in the -Athens; the men of the law give their evenings to -Bacchus; those who are called philosophers, give -theirs to butterflies; the ladies associate for the -purposes of gossipping; and the gentlemen, with -praise-worthy gallantry, assist the ladies; while -the artizans pursue literature, and study philosophy. -Thus, although there be more both of the -one and the other in the Athens, than one would at -first sight suppose, the supposition is excusable -because they are not to be found where one would -first and most naturally seek for them.</p> - -<p>But if these habits make the labouring classes in -the Athens more intelligent and delightful as a -people than the same classes are in England, they -render them as much more dangerous as a mob. It -is true, that any demagogue cannot lead them to -any mischief for any cause that he pleases, as is but -too often the case with a less informed and reflective<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[279]</a></span> -population. But if they are not to be collected -or set on by every casual breath, it is not -every casual breath that will make them disperse, -or make them desist from their purpose. They -have repeatedly—indeed upon every occasion where -they have been aroused and brought together, -evinced an union and organization which, with -arms and perseverance, would have made them formidable -to a large military force; and they have kept -their plans so secret, and executed their purposes -with so much promptitude and skill, that the whole -of the legal and local authorities, in the joint exercise -of their wisdom and their fears, have not been -enabled to penetrate the one or prevent the other. -“The Porteus” mob is universally known; and a -gentleman who was an eye-witness gave me such an -account of a minor one, both in its object and in its -mischief, that occurred upon the result of the late -Queen Caroline’s trial, as convinced me that their -skill and their spirit have not yet abated.</p> - -<p>The populace of the Athens, as well as of most -other places, resolved upon having a general illumination, -when the result of that trial was made known. -I do not say this was right, neither do I say that it -was wrong; but it was the will and the wish of the -people, and they did it. The official part of the -Athenians were of course against the measure, on -political grounds; and a very large proportion of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[280]</a></span> -the superior classes disliked it, either because they -had doubts of its propriety, or because they disliked -the expense and trouble. Disturbances were -apprehended, and the authorities took what they -were pleased to call “vigorous measures:” they gave -plenary power to Archy Campbell,—armed deacon -Knox with a great bludgeon,—supported the constabulary -with staves,—hung bayonets and cartouch-boxes -across the shoulders of the writers -clerks,—stuck swords behind the sheriff and advocates-depute,—sent -for the Lothian farmers and -their cart-horses,—collected the military detachments,—shotted -the guns of the Castle, and lighted -the linstocks,—dined, and put in the internal -armour of divers bottles of wine a-stomach,—and -then bolting as many doors upon themselves as ever -they could, sat down to wonder and wait for the -issue. After preparations so extensive in their -nature, and so profound in their organization, one -would naturally have supposed that not so much as -a rebellious candle would have been lighted, or an -Athenian lamp broken. But this was by no means -the case.</p> - -<p>My informant, who had just arrived from Glasgow, -where a similar scene had been performed on -the preceding evening, with much credit to the -military, some little to the magistrates, and no -positive disgrace to the people, was induced, by<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[281]</a></span> -the unusual radiance that he observed in the street, -to walk out and see what was the matter, or rather -how the matter was. He passed along Princes -Street, which exhibited nearly the same number of -candles, and the same taste in transparent paintings -that are usual upon other grease-burning and -gauze-daubing occasions; but the street itself was -unusually quiet, and free of people. As he stood -gazing at a window opposite the earthen mound, -in the decoration of which some painter had been -peculiarly happy in absurdity, a stranger took him -by the arm, and requested him to go to the other -side of the street, as where he stood he was by no -means safe. He hesitated, alleging that he heard -nothing. “But it is coming,” said the stranger, -“and the more silent it is the less safe.” They -crossed the street together; and my informant -looking towards the other end of the mound, observed -that the lamps were extinguished one by -one, and though not a tongue was heard, there -was a heavy and hurried tread as of a dense crowd -rapidly approaching. It came, filling the whole -breadth, and about half the length of the mound. -In the front were borne two transparencies, rendered -barely visible by dull blue lights behind. On -each flank were treble lines of men, armed with -stakes, which they had torn from a paling; and -the whole square, of which they formed two sides,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[282]</a></span> -was as thick in its composition and as regular and -rapid in its march as the Macedonian phalanx. -This thick phalanx moved along some of the principal -streets: when a voice in one key called out -one set of numbers, a shower of missiles instantly -demolished every pane in the windows; and when -a voice in another key called out another set of -numbers, not a stone was thrown. This mass of -people passed along the streets, and performed its -quantity of mischief with the silence and rapidity -of a destroying angel; and when it had wreaked -a double portion of violence upon the dwelling of -the Lord Provost, it melted away nobody knew -how, where, or by what agency. Meanwhile, the -alarm had been given to the powers and protectors; -but when they came to read the riot act, and -scatter the spoilers, there remained none to hear, -but shattered houses and frightened inmates, and -nothing to scatter, except fragments of glass. -Fortunately, the mischief was not very great; but -the manner in which it was done was enough to -show the superior tactics, and consequently superior -danger of an Athenian mob.</p> - -<p>It is not, however, the education of politicians, -of professional men, or of the populace, which constitutes -that peculiar course of discipline which -deserves to be designated, as “the education of the -Athens.” That education is a training of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[283]</a></span> -manners more than of the mind,—an initiation into -the practices of life, rather than the principles of -any art, or of any science. Most species of education -imply some sort of restraint; but the Athenian -education is chiefly taken up with removing -the restraints that have been imposed in other -places, and by other systems; and the rapidity -with which students make proficiency in it is -without parallel in any of the ordinary schools or -colleges. A mere boy shall come from the remotest -glen or island of Scotland, as timid as a -hare, as modest as a maiden, and as honest as a -man of five feet in a mill-stone quarry; and yet, -astonishing to tell! three little months, sometimes -three little weeks, of Athenian tuition, shall make -him a perfect adept in all the theory, and an expert -proficient in all the practice of the Athenian -mysteries. No where else, indeed, can young men -be thus educated at so early an age; and it is the -boast of the Athens, that she frees the youth of -Scotland of more of their antiquated notions and -narrow prejudices than they could get rid of even -in London itself. The number of young men who -resort annually to the Athens as students in the -college, and under the private lecturers in the different -departments of medical science—who, as I -have said, are now in a great measure eclipsing and -supplanting the college professors, together with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[284]</a></span> -the still greater number who throng to the offices -of the men of law, form a separate and unguardianed -and unguarded society of youths, greater -in proportion to the whole population than is to be -found in any other British city. They meet with -those of but a year’s longer standing, and these -meet those of but another year, and so on, till the -total take in every lesson-abhorring student, and -every quill-driving clerk, to the amount of some -thousands,—all of them furnished with at least -moderate means of supporting themselves, and -without the slightest check or control as to how -those means shall be expended. The studies of -the law-clerks are of an exceedingly dry description, -and those of the other students are not very -different. The infant scribes are set loose at an -early hour in the evening, and as the professors in -the Athens are said to be far more strict in looking -after their own fees than after the attendance of -the students, the whole of this mass of young persons -are left to govern themselves and each other -for nearly the half of every day in the week, and -almost the whole of Saturday and Sunday. Athenian -apprentices to the law are seldom lodged in -the families of their masters; and it is a rare thing -indeed for an Athenian student to be boarded with -his professor. Hence, both classes are allowed to -help each other in the formation of their habits,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[285]</a></span> -without any control from the more experienced -part of society. It is the interest of the lodging-house-keepers, -with whom the greater part of them -reside, that their juvenile frolics should not come -to the ears of their relations; and therefore each is -allowed to indulge himself as he pleases, and the -only measure of indulgence is the purse.</p> - -<p>While this mode of life holds out facilities for -indiscretions which the greater activity and occupation -of even a mercantile city prevent, the great -numbers take off the shame of individual transactions, -and give a fashion and eclât to what would -no where else be tolerated. Youths of no great -advance in life have their nightly drinking-bouts, -and boys, in the first year of their studies or apprenticeships, -have their occasional carousals in ale-houses -suited to the state of their funds. As the -greater number of young men in the Athens, -setting aside the working classes, whose conduct is -very different, are of this description, perhaps -they stamp upon the whole place much of its character; -and, especially in the several professions -connected with the law, they in all probability -stamp the greater part of it.</p> - -<p>The results are just what might be expected. -There is no place that I visited where both the -manners and the morals of young persons are so -free; and, with a greater partiality for the bottle,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[286]</a></span> -and a greater proneness to all its consequences, -there is perhaps less moral feeling, and a less clear -perception either of intellectual or of moral truth, -among young men who have passed through the -several stages of an Athenian education, than -among those who have had their novitiate any -where else. Too young for reflection, and too -much exposed to temptation for study, their minds -become as desultory as their manners are dissipated; -and while yet they hardly know any thing, -they are prompt in their decision of every thing; -and having once found that it is easier, and gives -more notoriety to decide without thinking, than to -think without deciding, they become as dogmatical -in speech as they are shallow in knowledge, -and raw in experience.</p> - -<p>The force of ardent and inexperienced passions, -just set loose from paternal restraint, the force of -every day’s example, the force of ridicule, and frequently -also the force of direct compulsion, all conspire -to drive every young man who goes to reside -in the Athens into these courses, and to keep him -in them as long as he continues to reside in the -Athens; and be it for study or for business, the -novitiate is in ordinary cases sufficiently long to -stamp the character for life. Accordingly it has -been remarked, that though young men who profited -by a regular course of Athenian study, be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[287]</a></span> -often very showy and frequently very jovial as companions, -they are not very pre-eminent for sagacity -as counsellors, or trust-worthiness as friends. Coming -from the provinces in all their greenness, without -any principle, save that prudence which their parents -tried to inculcate, and getting rid of that very -speedily, they are left like blank-paper, upon which -the Athens may inscribe her peculiar characters. -There they grow up, and acquire the passions, and -learn the vices of men, while they have the intellect -only of boys.</p> - -<p>Every part of the system tends to debauch their -morals, and deaden their intellectual perceptions, -and there are some parts of it that tend strongly to -make them as impertinent as they are ill-informed. -With many of them, and more especially with those -connected with the law, public speaking, or rather -public wrangling, such as they daily hear before -their Lordships, is regarded as the foremost and best -of all qualifications. Accordingly, they not only -have little disputing societies, at which the most -profound and grave questions are discussed and decided -in the least grave and profound manner, but -they also, not sometimes, but very frequently, carry -the same practices into their carousing parties, -whether in their own lodgings or at their respective -ale-houses. Thus they learn to make speeches, -which, like inflated bladders, are of a considerable<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[288]</a></span> -size, and smooth withal on the surface, but have -neither solidity nor weight. Of those who are thus -educated, a considerable portion are scattered over -the country, and perhaps in this way the Athens -draws both upon the virtue and the intelligence of -the age, in full for all that she gives in the way of -other education. Perhaps, indeed, setting aside the -political taints which have been noted as emanating -from the Athens, it were just as well for Scotland, -and not a bit worse for England, that Athenian -education of all kinds were confined between the -Loch of Duddingstone and the Water of Leith. -Of those again who are thus educated, and who -remain in the Athens, it may perhaps be said that -they turn round and inflict upon those who come -after, full retribution for what those who went before -inflicted upon themselves; and that with all her -boasted elegance and taste, there is perhaps no city -in which vice is more generally or more obtrusively -practised, than in this self-boasted model of taste -and purity.</p> - -<p>The effects of this system of education may be -traced in the manners, and especially in the conversation, -of the Athenians, even when they have, as -one would suppose, risen above the standard and -outlived the vices of those juvenile associations. -The jokes which are quoted as being the indigenous -crop of the Parliament-House habitually, and even<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[289]</a></span> -of the bench occasionally, have almost uniformly a -latitude in them, which would not be tolerated in -similar places elsewhere; and perhaps one of the -most offensive collections that could be raked together, -would be a list of all the good things with -which the Athenians embellish their conversations, -as having been said and done by the men of whom -they boast; but as such a collection would be relished -no where except in the Athens, and with -Athenian disciples, it may, with great propriety, be -left as a chosen preserve, in which her own literati -may poach, when otherwise their stores become -exhausted, as must occasionally be the case even -with them.</p> - -<p>A system of male education, such as I have attempted -to describe, must of course require a peculiar -system for females; but as female education is -every where much more matter of fact than of philosophy, -it would be improper to go into any investigation -or argument about it. In speaking of -such a subject, I might err: by remaining silent, I -cannot.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[290]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER X.</h2> - -<p class="pc2 lmid">MANNERS AND RELIGION OF THE ATHENS.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pp6">“This present world six days they seek,</p> -<p class="pp7">They seek the next for one day:</p> -<p class="pp6">They run their scores up all the week,</p> -<p class="pp7">And sponge them out on Sunday.”</p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">Before</span> you can at all characterize the manners of -the Athenians, you must have known them long -and intimately, and even then it is difficult to be -correct. In most things they are so extremely -changeful, if not contradictory, that in half the -time you would take to describe them in one aspect, -they pass into another; and they do so without -any cause which you can discover. At one -time you would think them all openness and -heart, but in a moment they start away, and look -exceedingly cold, stiff, and repulsive. They are -a hospitable people, certainly, or rather perhaps it -is more correct to say that they are entertainment-giving -people; but even in the most ostentatious -and prolonged of their hospitalities, you always -have the impression that they are acting a part—that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[291]</a></span> -there is more show than substance in their -courtesies. You feel that you are received with -more parade than welcome; and if the sederunt be -continued, you find that there is more hilarity than -heart. They give you your dinner, and they shun -neither the quantity nor the praise of their liquor, -but they are not so much disposed to give you your -share of the conversation, of which themselves and -their city form, not the unvarying, but the inexhaustible -subject; and, taking for granted that, in -consequence of its primary importance and celebrity, -you, if you know any thing, cannot fail to be acquainted -with it even to the minutest particular, -they rattle away without ever giving you the least -preparation, and if you shew, or even hint ignorance -of the shufflings of their politics, the cases -before their courts, or the tattle of their coteries, the -utmost contempt is expressed at you, and the most -summary vengeance taken for your daring to be -ignorant of that which alone is worth knowing.</p> - -<p>From the peculiar kind and manner of education -which I have noticed, the young men of the -Athens are more impertinent and self-sufficient than -those of any other place that I have seen. They -know not much, and the little that they do know is -far from being accurate; but they state their opinions -with a forwardness, and support even their -ignorance and their errors with a pertinacity at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[292]</a></span> -which you are quite astonished. Perhaps it is this -precocity in assertion which renders the Athenians -so querulous and dogmatical after they grow up.</p> - -<p>As the sums of money which can be afforded to -be spent or squandered away in the Athens are not -great, there is not much deep playing or costly dissipation -in the city. But though the immorality of -the Athens costs less than that of a wealthier place, -there is not proportionally the less of it upon this -account; and though the number of what may be -termed gentleman-like indiscretions be very limited, -yet there is perhaps no place of equal proportion -which rivals the Athens in low vice. Indeed, the -vices of her people are almost all equally low, or if -there be any who strive to outdo their fellows, it is -by a deeper plunge in downright beastliness.</p> - -<p>Among the dashing bloods of the Athens, the -squalor of a house is no objection whatever. Scotch -economy prompts them to get everything cheap, and -hence there are in the Athens sinks of vice, supported -and frequented by those who call themselves -gentlemen, that would hardly be tolerated, or even -supposed, in the very lowest neighbourhood of any -other place. I have been told that nothing can be -more shocking either to morality or taste, than the -midnight orgies of certain clubs of the Athenian -<i>esprits forts</i>; and among all ranks of the Athenians—I -mean among all the ranks of those who wear<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">[293]</a></span> -the dress and assume the name of gentlemen,—the -practice of drinking is both habitual and deep.</p> - -<p>The real state of taste and civilization in any -place is perhaps better known from the vices of the -inhabitants, than from their virtues; and if the -Athens is to be judged by this standard, she has -not much of which she can boast, as the broad and -vulgar debaucheries of her people, not only occupy -much more of their time, but engross much more -of their conversation, than is the case in the British -metropolis. There is a cause for every thing, and -perhaps a reasonable part of the cause of this may -be found in that peculiarity of the Athenian education -which I noticed in a former chapter. The -purity, the ignorance, and the simplicity of the -number of young men and boys who are annually -added to the mass of the Athens, the novelty of -their having all restraint taken off, and the example -and encouragement with which they naturally meet, -dispose them to proceed to greater lengths in dissipation -than if their introduction were more gradual. -The limited nature of their finances, too, and the -operation of those lessons of thrift and parsimony, -which no parents are fonder of inculcating than the -Scotch, lead them to cheapness rather than elegance -in their pleasures; and the debased and vulgar -taste which they thus acquire in their boyhood, -clings to them after they are men, and not only<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">[294]</a></span> -gives the tone to their vices, but in some measure -also to their whole character. Accordingly, in no -place that I have visited is there more license of -conversation, more general freedom from all manner -of restraint, and a more total absence of scruples -of any kind, than among the scribes of the Athens. -Still, to a certain extent, they are pleasant companions; -but they are so only to a certain extent. In -times not very remote, each of the pleaders before -the Supreme Courts in the Athens had his “whiskey-shop,” -in which he met with clients and solicitors, -received fees, and fortified himself in the spirit, -for appearing before the “fifteen.” Nor were -these grave personages themselves prone to forget -the lessons which they had learned during their noviciate -as students or clerks, and their probation as -members of the Faculty of Advocates. Whatever -was or is the talents or the connexions of those persons, -they were, and among the specimens that remain -still are, democrats in their drink. It seems -to be an Athenian maxim, that the bottle raises or -lowers all people to the same level; and the Athenians -still tell with a sort of pride, that when a celebrated -Judge, who flourished in the latter half of the -eighteenth century, had been missing for three days, -and was wanted to aid in the decision of a very important -cause, he was at length found upon the top -of the steeple of St. Giles’, where he had been carousing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">[295]</a></span> -and playing at cards with two or three members -of that illustrious and accommodating fraternity, -the <i>Caddies</i>.</p> - -<p>Nothing strikes a stranger more than the difference -between the business streets and business -men of the Athens, and the corresponding streets -and men of London, or even of Glasgow. In -Bond Street, Oxford Street, or Ludgate Hill, all -is bustle and activity,—you cannot stand still, -though you would; and within the shop, every -one is completely occupied. The Athenian streets, -more especially the High Street, present quite -another spectacle. At every few yards you find -upon the pavement a knot of idlers, concealing -their hands in the pockets of their inexpressibles, -and alternately settling the affairs of the world, -(that is, of the Athens,) and criticising any stranger -that passes. Every shop-door too is a sort of rostrum -from which the occasional vender of brimstone -or blue bonnets, is often found vending -Athenian politics to customers of another description; -while, almost during the whole morning, -bevies of slip-shod damsels stand giggling together -at the entrances of the closes, in which innumerable -mops and slop-pails are exposed, but not for -sale.</p> - -<p>Ever since the days of Allan Ramsay, an Athenian -bookseller has been a sort of oracle; and, as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">[296]</a></span> -the tribe have increased, their oracular powers -have become rich and varied. Constable, to whom, -by the way, the literary world is as much indebted -as to any man living, and who is a remarkable -instance of success against the whole current of -Athenian prejudice and opposition, has indeed too -much sense, as well as too much business, for -lounging and lecturing in a public shop; but even -Constable is obliged occasionally to submit to the -contact of that chaos of philosophic fragments, -which, like the atoms of Epicurus, reel and wrangle -on the benches by his counter. Blackwood too -has a sort of den; but still, when there is nobody -in it to gossip, you find his hard face poking out -at his shop-door, just as the tongue of a church-bell -pokes out at the mouth of that instrument of -noise and brass. Manners and Miller—one who is -said to be the only genuine species of the nightingale -north of the Tweed, keeps a saloon for the -accommodation of the Edinburgh blue stockings, -in which sins, and sentiments, and silks, are, by -turns, expatiated upon, in a style and manner -which are truly Athenian. Not far from the -Tron Kirk, there is perhaps the most wonderful -of them all,—the Œdipus of all mysteries and -riddles, as touching law, and learning, and politics—to -the junior clerks who attend the parliament-house; -the fag end of the Athenian company<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">[297]</a></span> -of comedians, and of the satellites of opposition in -Athenian politics. Œdipus believes that the whole -world rests upon his shoulders; and, whether he be -haranguing from behind his counter, or trotting -along the street, he is constantly hitching up his -shoulders as if he were alarmed lest that world -should go off its poise. But to see this little man -in the zenith of his glory, you must see him in the -parliament-house, where he is regularly found, as -soon as the clerks have gone to the desk, and the -players to the rehearsal, running about with so -much eagerness and appearance of wisdom, that, -until he speaks, you would mistake him for -Jeffery, or rather for Henry Cockburn, to whom -he has one similitude—that of a naked poll. As -he has previously argued or decided every cause -that can come before any of the courts, he comes, -not to profit by the wisdom of the more express -organs of the law, but to tell how far they deflect -from the right, by swerving from his institutes.</p> - -<p>Each bookseller has, not only his levee as well-attended -as ever that of Sir Richard Phillips in -his glory was by ten-shilling-a-sheet overpaid authors, -but his evening party, in which he shines. -Thus Constable dines with deep-going politicians, -Blackwood frequents prayer-meetings, Manners -and Miller whistle,—this one associates with fiddlers,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">[298]</a></span> -and that takes the unprotected females under the -folds of his calf-skin mantle.</p> - -<p>But, although each of the notable Athenians has -his peculiar place and way of holding forth, there -is a regular intercourse among them all; and accounts -current of praise or censure are as regular -and frequent among the Athenians, as those of -cash are among other people. Indeed, if it were -not for this curious banking system, it is very -doubtful whether the intellectual “patrimony or -conquest” of any one Athenian would be sufficient -to set him up in business as a regular and everyday -subject of conversation. Thus, whenever you -find an Athenian cutting his first figure, no matter -what sort of figure it is, in one part of the city, -you are sure to hear somebody making a great -deal of noise either for or against that figure in -another part.</p> - -<p>But manners are, however, somewhat like the -mind itself,—we can observe their phenomena, and -trace their effects; but, as they are in themselves -nothing more than the various states of an ever-changing -something which we can never exactly -comprehend, no abstract disquisition upon them, -even as they are found in the Athens, would bear -to be read, although one should be at the trouble -of writing it. When we grapple with them in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">[299]</a></span> -real flesh and blood, and can say that this is -Archy Campbell, or this his Majesty’s Advocate,—that -this is Mrs. Macspine, who studies the Differential -Calculus,—or that Lady Macfidget, who -calculates differences, or makes them for other -people’s calculation,—then the gentle readers draw -their chairs together, and prepare for that most -delectable of all entertainments,—the dissection of -an individual character; but when we treat of the -disembodied virtues or vices, we are allowed the -sole and exclusive benefit of our lucubrations.</p> - -<p>Still, it is impossible to overlook the rapidity -with which all sorts of things whisk about in the -Athens, and how cleverly her ladies and gentlemen -creep into the nut-shells of science, or the whispering-corners -of scandal; or how dextrously they -contrive to make one thing answer many purposes. -It is impossible that any people, and more especially -a people so ardent and so educated as the -Athenians, can be without a reasonable commodity -of love; but the talking apparatus is so sensitive -to the slightest touch, and vibrates so instantaneously -over the whole city, that this commodity -cannot be brought into action in the ordinary way. -Accordingly, the various systems of philosophy -which have from time to time warmed and gladdened -the Athenians, have been, in a great measure, -a succession of bows and quivers for the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">[300]</a></span> -artillery of Cupid. Sometimes they were awkward -enough for this purpose; and the barbs and feathers -of those instruments of man’s mischief, sticking -out at the ends of arguments against revelation, -or disquisitions upon cause and effect, had rather -a ludicrous appearance. When Smellie brought -the philosophy of beasts into vogue, matters -mended a little; and youths and virgins sauntered -away into the fields for the pure and intellectual -purposes of investigating the origin and -progress of lambs and linnets. The day of the -botanists was equally favourable for erotic purposes; -and when the researches of Doctor Hutton -had made the fairy-rings upon Arthur’s Seat matter -of philosophy, thither winded the philosophic -fair of the Athens, under the soft beams of the -chaste moon, just to see whether they could catch -a glimpse of the green elves, capering and dancing -to the tune of “Catherine Ogie,” as Scotch fairies -had been known to do from time immemorial.</p> - -<p>But the best system that ever came into general -practice and belief, has proved to be that of the -skull-men,—a system which, though the Athenians -gainsayed it a little at the outset, they have subsequently -fallen deeper into than any other people -upon the earth or moon; and in a truly-bred -Athenian company, you are sure to have your -cranium thumbed over by every lady and gentleman.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">[301]</a></span> -This is an excellent system, if there be -truth in it; and indeed, whether there be truth in it -or not, it brings the papillæ of the fingers, whose -very use is the receiving of impressions, into contact -as it were with the very elements of the soul; -and when the delicate fingers of a lady are measuring -the base and altitude of No. 1. in a gentleman’s -neck, there is every chance that the embers -of the tender passion, if they have not previously -been charred to incineration, shall blaze or burn.</p> - -<p>Nor is this the only use to which the Athenians -apply this philosophy. They are so quick in their -perception, that they instantly know the strong and -the weak points of your character, and they regulate -their proceedings accordingly. If, for instance, -your indications of combativeness be strongly developed, -they are sure never to offer the least -insult; but if you be wanting in those indications, -they make you feel it. If your forehead shows -wit, they are exceedingly humdrum and metaphysical; -but if the contrary, they treat you with -quips and puns without end. Knowing from the -peculiar structure and exercise of their own admiration, -that people admire the most that in which -they excel the least, they make sure of shining by -turning the conversation to those subjects of which, -judging from your organization, you have the -least.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">[302]</a></span></p> - -<p>The religion of the Athenians is, perhaps, one -of their greatest peculiarities: they,—meaning the -people of consideration, and not the populace,—are -the most religiously irreligious people that one -can imagine. A few years ago, when it was the -fashion to be sceptical, the very name of going to -church stamped a man as belonging to the veriest -vulgar; but the kirk has again come into vogue, -and it is now just as much a mark of vulgarity not -to go there, as it then was to go. If, however, the -value of their church-going were to be tried by -their conduct during the week, its moral advantages -would not be found great. But it answers many -purposes: the official men find their interest in -being kirk-elders; ladies and gentlemen see each -other; and after so pious and praise-worthy a -thing as church-going, there can be little harm in -an assignation, or an adjournment to a tavern-dinner,—occurrences -which are very frequent upon -the evenings of Athenian Sundays. When you -have witnessed the deep and prolonged potations -of some Athenian worthy upon the Saturday night, -when you have heard the racy jokes and anecdotes -with which he enlivened his cups, and when you -have marked how small store he set by the principles -as well as the practices of religion, you wonder -at the calm face that he puts on as he stands at the -church-door, watching the pence and sixpences<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">[303]</a></span> -that are thrown into the charity-plate. It is all a -cloak, however, and like other cloaks, the more -cumbrous that it is, it is the sooner cast off. One -cause of its being put on at all, may be, that the -fashion of the higher classes going to church carries -the lower classes there also; and nobody can -pass the receiving hoard, which is watched by a -provost or a judge, without contributing something -to the increase of voluntary charity; which being thus -obtained from the poor, prevents the necessity of -levying so large contributions on the rich. I have -stated this reason, not only because it is both pleasurable -and profitable, but because, whatever it -may be in its primary intention, in its ultimate -result it is good. Every thing which tends to -place the labouring classes, if but for a moment, or -during the performance of a single act, upon the -same level with those who do not labour, is highly -advantageous to them; and thus, admitting that -the Athenians go to church as well to save their -pockets as to compound for the doings of the week, -the said Athenians do, upon that account, deserve -nothing but praise.</p> - -<p>Leaving the church-going, and subsequent feasting -and flirtation out of the question, there is -something peculiar in an Athenian Sabbath: it -seems as though useful labour and innocent amusements -were the only things that deserve to be suspended.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">[304]</a></span> -The advocates are a privileged class, and -it is no scandal in them to drudge at their cases. -As little is there any harm whatever in oral discussion -of any subject imaginable; but if a maid-servant -were to hum a tune, an advocate’s wife to give a -thump to the piano-forte, or a boarding-school miss to -peep into a new novel, the Athens would be in the -utmost jeopardy of sinking in the Forth, in which -the sinner would have some chance of being ducked. -It must not, however, be supposed that among -such a people as the Athenians, the Sunday is a -day of idleness. It is no such thing; for with -both men and women, it is the choice and chosen -day of the week, set apart to all manner of gossip -and enjoyment; and though it be not the fashion -for the people to listen to the music of instruments, -or read profane books, yet the music of woman’s -tongue is soft and sweet, and the book of fate is -opened. Whether the present church-going propensity -of the Athens shall continue, is a question -that it would be difficult to solve; but that the -Athens will continue to enjoy herself upon Sunday -nights, may be received into the catalogue of -truths that are demonstrated.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305">[305]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="p4">CHAPTER XI.</h2> - -<p class="pc2 lmid">SUNDRY QUALITIES OF THE ATHENS, IN -SUPPLEMENT.</p> - -<hr class="d5" /> - -<p class="pp6q p1">“In Ethiopia there is a lizard,<br /> -Green on the grass, but golden on the sand,<br /> -Of slender form and many-tinctured skin:<br /> -Of this, when you suppose that you have counted<br /> -The tints and glosses, straight the creature turns,<br /> -Or you but step aside, when lo, it seems<br /> -As new and strange as ever. What you noted<br /> -Is all errata, and your task of telling<br /> -Is never at an end.”</p> - -<hr class="d6" /> - -<p class="pn"><span class="smcap">The</span> wonderful agility with which the Athenians -skip about from opinion to opinion in other matters, -and the great faculty which they show in altering -the attitude and aspect of that everlasting subject, -their own city, render it next to impossible to -give a likeness of them that shall be accurate for -one moment beyond the time that you are taking -it. Indeed, if you be not all the readier at your -pencil, the chance is that there shall be no congruity<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_306" id="Page_306">[306]</a></span> -or keeping among the features and limbs -that you sketch. What you begin with as a -Jupiter, you have a chance of ending with as a -Vulcan; your Apollo glides into a satyr, and your -Venus becomes a hag under your hands. If you -would paint a philosopher, however limber or -however large you design him, he changes to a -driveller or a dandy before you know what you are -about; and when you follow him to his home, in -order to contemplate the progress of those great -things with which he is to enlighten and astonish -the world, you find the whole of his mighty mind -occupied in fitting false shoulders to his waistcoat, -or dipping his whiskers in the essence of Tyne, till -the tale run down his cheeks in purple demonstration -as he flounders along in the ball-room. -Under such circumstances, I ought not to be -blamed, although the light in which I have attempted -to represent the Athenians be not that in -which they may have appeared to others; nor -ought they who fancy that their picture is more -accurate than mine, to allow themselves to fall into -that idolatrous worship of the Athenian gods; for -they may rest assured that there can be more than -two pictures of the Athens, all very unlike each -other, and yet all very like the original.</p> - -<p>The <i>wit</i> of the Athenians may be considered as -one of their “fundamental features,” for many<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_307" id="Page_307">[307]</a></span> -reasons, and for this among the rest, that it mainly -consists of punning, which is accounted the lowest -stratum, and therefore the foundation of all wit -whatsoever. It is of various kinds and degrees, -according to the class of persons among whom it -passes current; but still the basis of every Athenian -witticism is a pun, and every Athenian, though he -should be nothing else, is sure to be a punster. -There are two original species of Athenian pun,—the -legal and the learned: the first is said to have -been introduced by the late Henry Erskine, and -the second is contested by the late Professor Hill, -Dr. Brewster, and others. Whether this be true -at all, and if true, how far the truth of it extends, -I am not either bound or prepared to say, but certain -it is that those learned and humorous persons -get more of it laid at their door than do any others -now in existence; and the “gentleman of the -Dunciad” who was “determined that every good -thing should be Shakspeare’s,” has many praise-worthy -imitators in the Gem of the North. You -cannot meet with an idle draper yawning at the -door of a shop, who has not some good thing of -Harry Erskine to tell you; nor is there a student -within the Athenian college who has not John Hill -by rote. Brewster, indeed, is not so often quoted; -but Brewster is still alive, and what is more, he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_308" id="Page_308">[308]</a></span> -holds no public function or situation of any great -consequence.</p> - -<p>I went to view the Advocates’ Library, in company -with two of that faculty; and they edified -me with sundry choice sayings of the immortal -Harry. I remarked, that it was singular that the -advocates, the most illustrious body within the -Scotch seas, should have been the last to have a -hall in which to contain their collection of books. -“The same remark was made,” said my conductor, -“to the late Honourable Henry Erskine, -and he said a very clever thing upon the subject.” -I very naturally gave him that wishing and inquiring -look, which brings out a good thing without -any preamble; and he, after working a-while -at his ears, hemming, and rubbing his spectacles, -said, “Why, Sir, I must condescend, <i>in limine</i>, -that the Dean of Faculty, (Mr. Erskine was once -Dean, and the title continues longer than the -office,) was a great wit, and that ‘a mortification,’ -according to our vocabulary, means a bequest -of money or property of any kind; and, -having given in this condescendence, I will proceed -to the argument of the case. Well, Sir, a -gentleman was remarking to the Dean, the shame -that it was to the faculty, that they had not a -better apartment for their library. ‘We shall get<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_309" id="Page_309">[309]</a></span> -it some time, and get it in a Christian way,’ said -the Dean, with that happy look which always -indicated that there was something to come. ‘Why -in a Christian way?’ said the gentleman. ‘Because,’ -said the Dean, ‘we shall get it through -the <i>mortification of our members</i>,’ at which the -gentleman laughed very heartily.” I, of course, had -no choice but to laugh also, although the wit ran a -little too slow for me; but my laugh was taken -with more cordiality than I had grace to give it -with, and that was a signal for more of the same -kind, of which I may mention a specimen or two. -A case was argued one day before Lord Braxfield, -in which the counsel had rather exposed a -position which that hasty judge had laid down a -few days previous; and his lordship was so much -irritated, that he snatched up a ruler, and brandished -it at the counsel, as much as to say, “if -I had you out of court, I would cudgel you.” -“What does he mean by that?” said an English -barrister who happened to be present. “He is -doing that which you must have done often,” said -Erskine, “he is <i>taking a rule to show cause</i>.” -“Why that is rather a novel rule to take in a -court of justice,” said the Englishman. “Not at -all,” replied Erskine, “it is merely a rule <i>nisi</i>.” -One of the latest of Erskine’s witticisms that were -repeated to me was that of the two Macnabs,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_310" id="Page_310">[310]</a></span> -father and son,—the first of whom was chief of -that sept of the Celts, and the other the author of -a system of the universe, too sublime even for -Athenian comprehension. The chief was the most -patriarchal as well as the most powerful man of his -day, and the number of his sons and daughters -rivalled that of some of the illustrious patriarchs -of olden time. Harry Erskine said, that “these -two Macnabs were the two greatest men that ever -had lived, for the one could make a world, and -the other could people it.” Another saying of his -was very often repeated to me, but I confess I -never could see the point of it. A Tory lawyer, -of feeble body and feebler mind, was elevated to -the bench, and the Athenians supposed that a -Whig, remarkable alike for his talents and the -slowness of his motions, had been improperly overlooked, -while the little Tory was promoted. It -was remarked to Erskine, that they “had put -the cart before the horse.” “No,” said Harry, -“they have not done that, they have only put -the ass before the elephant.” Another time, when -a client was hesitating into which of the hands of -two writers to the signet he should throw himself, -somebody said, he was like the ass between -the two bundles of hay. “No,” said Erskine, -“he is like the bundle of hay between the two -asses; for, whichever way he goes, he will be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_311" id="Page_311">[311]</a></span> -eaten up.” This species of pun is mostly confined -to Whigs, or gentlemen who have some -pretensions to literature or taste; and in as -far as intellectuality can be predicated of such -matters, it may be called the <i>pun intellectual</i>. -From Harry Erskine, the intellectual pun of -the Athenian barristers does not appear to have -descended full and entire to any one individual. A -small piece fell to the share of George Cranstoun; -but he is too independent for using it, and therefore -he is said to have laid it out at interest for the benefit -of the next generation. John Archibald Murray -got a slice, but it was from the side upon which -the article had lain for some time, and thus it is said -to be somewhat musty. Jeffrey got a choice cut, -but he is said to have carried it so long in his -breeches-pocket, among slips of the Review, that it -is as hard as granite. Cockburn got a large piece -out of the very middle, but he is reported as having -stuck it over so thickly with sugar-plums, that -the original owner would have great difficulty in -knowing it. The kissing-crust, and a dainty crust -it is, fell to the share of John Clerk, but John is -said to have soaked it so much in butter, that delicate -stomachs are unable to bear it. After such a -distribution, it seems exceedingly doubtful whether -the whole can be again reunited; and while one -laments the cutting up of the thing itself, one is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_312" id="Page_312">[312]</a></span> -amused at the more slender Whiglings, who run -about showing, boasting, and smacking the waste-paper -in which it was originally wrapped up.</p> - -<p>There is another species of legal pun, which -first came to maturity under M’Queen, of Braxfield. -This may be styled the pun <i>ad hominem</i>, -and is calculated to depress the spirits in the same -ratio as the other is calculated to raise them. While -I was in the Athens it was by no means common in -the Parliament-House, but I was told that it forms -a standard dish at all loyal and official feasts, and -that upon ordinary occasions it lies in Blackwood’s -shop for the inspection of the curious.</p> - -<p>The learned pun is of several kinds, according -to the class by whom it is used. That which was -brought to perfection by Professor Hill was a sort -of polyglot. For instance, in order to indicate -learning, and wit, and tea, the Professor inscribed -his tea-chest with the word “<i>doces</i>,” and when upon -a cold winter day, one of his students kept bawling -“<i>claude ostium</i>;” so loud as to give annoyance, -the Professor turned upon him with “<i>claude os -tuum</i>,” which gained him more admiration with the -Athenians than if he had rivalled Porson himself.</p> - -<p>None of those kinds of punning are, however, to -be regarded as purely Athenian. They were all -invented or improved by strangers; and if one -wishes to become acquainted with the genuine Athenian<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_313" id="Page_313">[313]</a></span> -pun in all its simplicity, one must seek it at -those coteries of small philosophers and blue-stockings, -which are found at Athenian suppers, more -especially on Sunday evenings, for it is by much -too delicate and weakly a thing for lasting even till -the day following.</p> - -<p>The whole sports and amusements that are peculiar -and congenial to the Athenians seem to be regulated -by a kind of Salique Law. They being -such as females can neither join in nor, in most instances, -witness. They are of two kinds: the -amusements of the tavern, and the amusements of -the turf. In the former, “high jinks,” and the -other harmless fooleries of the olden time, have -given place to the orgies of hell-fire clubs, and -others that are better undescribed; but in the latter, -“golf” and “curling” continue to divide the year, -and the wisdom of the Athens may be seen during -the summer exercising itself daily in urging the -ball upon Bruntsfield-Links, and during the winter -in hurling large stones along the ice upon the Loch -of Duddingstone. Although there be many good -places for walking in the vicinity of the Athens, no -such thing is known as a public promenade—that is -forbidden on Sunday, and, except a trot along -Princes Street, and a moon-light turn around the -Calton, the gentlemen of the Athens are too busy, -either in doing something, or in doing nothing,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_314" id="Page_314">[314]</a></span> -for promenading during the week. Drive there is -none, and it is not much to be regretted, for there -is absolutely nothing to be driven.</p> - -<p>Another small feature in the character of the -Athenians is the high and supercilious disdain with -which they affect to look down, not merely upon -their fellow-Scotchmen, but upon all the world. -How they originally came by this quality, it would -not be easy to determine, and therefore it is, perhaps, -needless to inquire; but, as it is permanent -and general, it must have something upon which -it permanently feeds. It is by no means peculiar -to those who are born in the Athens; for no -sooner does a Lowland clown take up his locality -there as a writer’s clerk, than he begins to toss up -his head at the land which produced and fed him, -and “writes himself <i>armigero</i>; in any bill, warrant, -quittance, or obligation, <i>armigero</i>.” And -no sooner does a tattered and trowserless <i>Rorie</i> -escape from the wilds of Sutherland, or the woods -of Rannoch, to lug half an Athenian fair one -from tea-party to tea-party, than “she is a shentlemans, -and teuks her whisky wi’ a ‘Cot tam’ -like a loört;” and, in fact, it seems a contest between -those two sets of worthies, which shall take -the lead in Athenian dandyism. Indeed, in personal -grace at least, the “shentlemans” must be -allowed to have much the better of the “armigero.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_315" id="Page_315">[315]</a></span>” -Light food and long journeys give to the former -great buoyancy of spirits, and elasticity of muscle; -and it is wonderful to notice, with what a dignified -and chieftain-like air, they thumb a pitch-black -pack of cards, or “teuk oot the linin’” of a -quart pot of small beer, or quartern of the dew -of the mountains, as they hold their morning levee -at a corner in Queen Street or Abercrombie Place. -The “armigero,” on the other hand, is as gawky-looking -an article as it is possible to meet with, or -even to conceive. His feet, which probably not -six weeks previous were dragging a stone weight -of shoes and mud, through the clay of Gowrie, or -the tough loam of Lothian or Fife, are squeezed -into a pair of boots, upon which they are taking -vengeance, by stretching the leg an inch and a -half over every side of the heel; his great red -hands, put you more in mind of lobsters than of -any thing human, and they are dangling from his -shoulders as if each articulation were strung with -wire; and when his deep and dismal Doric is drawled -out into what is reckoned the fashionable accent in -the Athens, you can liken it to nothing but a duet -composed of the love songs of Jack Ass and Tom -Cat. In consequence of the number of those two -classes of Athenian dandies, dandyism of a higher -order is banished. I mentioned formerly that there -is no such thing either as a drive or an article<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_316" id="Page_316">[316]</a></span> -driven (quills always excepted,) anywhere about the -Athens; and therefore no fashionable gentlemen -could endure the association of the Athenian pavé. -If such men should by accident get there, he would -not be eclipsed, but he would be absolutely buried -under the thick mass of the turf of the mountains, -and the clods of the valleys.</p> - -<p>Perhaps it is this total absence of every thing -elegant in the shape of man from the public streets -and walks of the Athens, that has given so singular -a twist to the minds and manners of the Athenian -fair. Those dandies, instead of being objects for -admiration, are subjects for criticism; and when an -Athenian belle first quits her bread and butter, and -flits forth to conquer the world—heedless of the -fact, that such was the condition of a dear papa -ere he <i>booed</i> himself into some government office, -“processed” (I do not use that word in the -Yankee meaning,) into the management of some -laird’s estate, or the estate itself—she curls up her -nose at these, the only “creatures” that she meets, -with so much force as to give it, as Dr. Barclay -would say, “a sidereal aspect” for life. For a -long time she holds fast her aversion; but though -her nose be elevated, her fortunes do not rise along -with it. Time drives the wheels of his curricle -across her countenance, and there is no filling up -the ruts which they leave. Meanwhile the despised<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_317" id="Page_317">[317]</a></span> -clerks become wigged advocates, or wily -solicitors; and the lady stretches her neck over -her six-pair-of-stairs window, to catch a glance of -the bustling man of business whom she despised and -contemned when he was a Princes-street walking boy, -and would have accounted her society and countenance -the very choicest thing in the world. Time, -who is the most delightful of all visitors during the -early stage of his acquaintance, gradually introduces -his friends; and at last, old hobbling Despair is admitted -into his coterie. In some places, the ladies -to whom he has been introduced seek their quietus -at the card-table; in others, they abandon this -world for the next, and very frequently choose the -by-paths to heaven—because a way thronged with -dissenting ministers is always a sort of love-lane, in -which a lady may at least gather the dry stalks of -those flowers which she neglected to pull while -they were in season. But in the Athens they go -another way to work,—they dip their stockings in -heaven’s azure, pass through the hoops of small -philosophy to the heaven-ward attic, (from which, -perchance, the Athens takes its name,) and thence -launch the bolts of their criticism against all the -world below—that is, all the world of their own -sex, and below their own age.</p> - -<p>Thus have I with, as an Athenian <i>Literatus</i> -would say, “the softest feather dipt in mildest<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_318" id="Page_318">[318]</a></span> -ink” and with uniform watchfulness against unmerited -praise and undeserved censure, noted down -a few of those features and traits which stamp upon -the Modern Athens, the isolation and individuality -of her character, as she stands away from other -cities, and appears in herself. Had I followed her -own <i>modus operandi</i>,—had I torn in pieces the -private characters of all to whom I found it necessary -to advert for the purposes of illustration, and -sported with the mangled fragments in the open -streets,—had I dug into their family vaults, and -wantonly exposed the bones of their ancestors to -the gaze of every passer by,—and had I set the -signet of my approbation or disapprobation upon -them, not on account of what they were in themselves, -but of whence they sprung, what they -possessed, and how they were connected,—then, -assuredly, the spirit of my writing would have -been more in accordance with the Athenian spirit, -and I would have been loved, lauded, and adopted -as a worthy and hopeful son of the aspiring attic -of the <i>Græcia mendax</i>. But such honour is not -my ambition; and therefore my study has been to -describe things with all the simplicity of truth, -and, as in whatever bearing the semblance of censure -I have written, I have wished and attempted -to be corrective rather than caustic—to go to -the causes of evil rather than to play with the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_319" id="Page_319">[319]</a></span> -symptoms of it, I must conclude, that if any -shall blame me for the freedom of my words, they -must do it because their hearts are smitten, and -not because their deeds are misrepresented. The -Athens boasts of herself as a model of elegance -and of taste: I found her a compound of squalour -and of vulgarity. She boasts of her philosophy: -I found it pursuing thistle-down over -the wilderness. She boasts of her literary spirit: -I found her literature a mere disjointed skeleton, -or rather the cast-skin of a toothless serpent. -She boasts of her public spirit: I found -almost every man pursuing his own petty interests, -by the most sinister and contemptible -means; and, perchance, the most noisy of her -patriots standing open-mouthed, if so that the -very smallest fragment of place or pension might -drop into them. She boasts of the encouragements -that she has given to genius: I looked -into the record, and I found that every man -of genius who had depended upon her patronage, -had been debauched and starved. She -boasts of the purity of her manners: I found the -one sex engaged in slander as a trade, and the -other in low sensuality as a profession. Under -those findings—and they required not to be sought—I -had no alternative for my judgment. When -she redeems herself from them, and becomes in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_320" id="Page_320">[320]</a></span> -reality even something like what she would call -herself in name, let her then make comparisons with -the Gem of ancient Greece. Let her give some -proof that Minerva Parthenon is her tutelar goddess; -when she has done so, let her build the -temple to that divinity; and, as she finishes the -sculpture of the last metope, with deeds of her -own worthy of being recorded, I (as the Turk did -when her countrymen completed the spoliation of -the ancient Athena,) shall to the completion of -the merit which she claims, subscribe</p> - - -<p class="pc4 mid">ΤΕΛΟΣ</p> - - -<p class="pc4 reduct">LONDON:<br /> -Printed by <span class="smcap">William Clowes</span>,<br /> -Northumberland-court.</p> -</div> - - -</div> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Modern Athens, by Robert Mudie - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MODERN ATHENS *** - -***** This file should be named 51239-h.htm or 51239-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/2/3/51239/ - -Produced by Giovanni Fini, deaurider and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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