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diff --git a/5102-h/5102-h.htm b/5102-h/5102-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ab98544 --- /dev/null +++ b/5102-h/5102-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10991 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + The Path of a Star, by Mrs. Everard Cotes + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Path of a Star, by +Mrs. Everard Cotes (AKA Sara Jeannette Duncan) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Path of a Star + +Author: Mrs. Everard Cotes (AKA Sara Jeannette Duncan) + +Release Date: June 6, 2006 [EBook #5102] +Last Updated: March 15, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PATH OF A STAR *** + + + + +Produced by Don Lainson; David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h1> + THE PATH OF A STAR + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Mrs. Everard Cotes + </h2> + <h3> + (AKA Sara Jeannette Duncan) <br /> <br /> 1899 + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0018"> CHAPTER XVIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0019"> CHAPTER XIX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0020"> CHAPTER XX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0021"> CHAPTER XXI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0022"> CHAPTER XXII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0023"> CHAPTER XXIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0024"> CHAPTER XXIV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0025"> CHAPTER XXV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0026"> CHAPTER XXVI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0027"> CHAPTER XXVII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0028"> CHAPTER XXVIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0029"> CHAPTER XXIX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0030"> CHAPTER XXX </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER I + </h2> + <p> + She pushed the portiere aside with a curved hand and gracefully separated + fingers; it was a staccato movement and her body followed it after an + instant's poise of hesitation, head thrust a little forward, eyes + inquiring and a tentative smile, although she knew precisely who was + there. You would have been aware at once that she was an actress. She + entered the room with a little stride and then crossed it quickly, the + train of her morning gown—it cried out of luxury with the cheapest + voice—taking folds of great audacity as she bent her face in its + loose mass of hair over Laura Filbert, sitting on the edge of a bamboo + sofa, and said— + </p> + <p> + “You poor thing! Oh, you POOR thing!” + </p> + <p> + She took Laura's hand as she spoke, and tried to keep it; but the hand was + neutral, and she let it go. “It is a hand,” she said to herself, in one of + those quick reflections that so often visited her ready-made, “that turns + the merely inquiring mind away. Nothing but feeling could hold it.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Filbert made the conventional effort to rise, but it came to nothing, + or to a mere embarrassed accent of their greeting. Then her voice showed + this feeling to be superficial, made nothing of it, pushed it to one side. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose you cannot see the foolishness of your pity,” she said. “Oh + Miss Howe, I am happier than you are—much happier.” Her bare feet, + as she spoke, nestled into the coarse Mirzapore rug on the floor, and her + eye lingered approvingly upon an Owari vase three feet high, and thick + with the gilded landscape of Japan, which stood near it, in the cheap + magnificence of the room. + </p> + <p> + Hilda smiled. Her smile acquiesced in the world she had found, acquiesced, + with the gladness of an explorer, in Laura Filbert as a feature of it. + </p> + <p> + “Don't be too sure,” she cried; “I am very happy. It is such a pleasure to + see you.” + </p> + <p> + Her gaze embraced Miss Filbert as a person, and Miss Filbert as a + pictorial fact, but that was because she could not help it. Her eyes were + really engaged only with the latter Miss Filbert. + </p> + <p> + “Much happier than you are,” Laura repeated, slowly moving her head from + side to side as if to negative contradiction in advance. She smiled too; + it was as if she had remembered a former habit, from politeness. + </p> + <p> + “Of course you are—of course!” Miss Howe acknowledged. The words + were mellow and vibrant; her voice seemed to dwell upon them with a kind + of rich affection. Her face covered itself with serious sweetness. “I can + imagine the beatitudes you feel—by your clothes.” + </p> + <p> + The girl drew her feet under her, and her hand went up to the only + semi-conventional item of her attire. It was a brooch that exclaimed in + silver letters “Glory to His Name!” “It is the dress of the Army in this + country,” she said; “I would not change it for the wardrobe of a queen.” + </p> + <p> + “That's just what I mean.” Miss Howe leaned back in her chair with her + head among its cushions, and sent her words fluently across the room, + straight and level with the glance from between her half-closed eyelids. A + fine sensuous appreciation of the indolence it was possible to enjoy in + the East clung about her. “To live on a plane that lifts you up like that—so + that you can defy all criticism and all convention, and go about the + streets like a mark of exclamation at the selfishness of the world—there + must be something very consummate in it or you couldn't go on. At least I + couldn't.” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose I do look odd to you.” Her voice took a curious, soft, uplifted + note. “I wear three garments only—the garments of my sisters who + plant the young shoots in the rice-fields, and carry bricks for the + building of rich men's houses, and gather the dung of the roadways to burn + for fuel. If the Army is to conquer India it must march bare-footed and + bare-headed all the way. All the way,” Laura repeated, with a tremor of + musical sadness. Her eyes were fixed in appeal upon the other woman's. + “And if the sun beats down upon my uncovered head, I think, 'It struck + more fiercely upon Calvary'; and if the way is sharp to my unshod feet, I + say, 'At least I have no cross to bear.'” The last words seemed almost a + chant, and her voice glided from them into singing— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “The blessed Saviour died for me, + On the cross! On the cross! + He bore my sins at Calvary, + On the rugged cross!” + </pre> + <p> + She sang softly, her body thrust a little forward in a tender swaying— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Behold His hands and feet and side, + The crown of thorns, the crimson tide, + 'Forgive them, Father!' loud He cried, + On the rugged cross!” + </pre> + <p> + “Oh, thank you!” Miss Howe exclaimed. Then she murmured again, “That's + just what I mean.” + </p> + <p> + A blankness came over the girl's face as a light cloud will cross the + moon. She regarded Hilda from behind it, with penetrant anxiety. “Did you + really enjoy that hymn?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed I did.” + </p> + <p> + “Then, dear Miss Howe, I think you cannot be very far from the Kingdom.” + </p> + <p> + “I? Oh, I have my part in a kingdom.” Her voice caressed the idea. “And + the curious thing is that we are all aristocrats who belong to it. Not the + vulgar kind, you understand—but no, you don't understand. You'll + have to take my word for it.” Miss Howe's eyes sought a red hibiscus + flower that looked in at the window half drowned in sunlight, and the + smile in them deepened. + </p> + <p> + “Is it the Kingdom of God and His righteousness?” Laura Filbert's clear + glance was disturbed by a ray of curiosity, but the inflexible quality of + her tone more than counterbalanced this. + </p> + <p> + “There's nothing about it in the Bible, if that's what you mean. And yet I + think the men who wrote 'The time of the singing of birds has come,' and + 'I will lift mine eyes unto the hills,' must have belonged to it.” She + paused, with an odd look of discomfiture. “But one shouldn't talk about + things like that—it takes the bloom off. Don't you feel that way + about your privileges now and then? Don't they look rather dusty and + battered to you after a day's exposure in Bow Bazar?” + </p> + <p> + There came a light crunch of wheels on the red soorkee drive outside, and + a switch past the bunch of sword-ferns that grew beside the door. The + muffled crescendo of steps on the stair and the sound of an inquiry + penetrated from beyond the portiere, and without further preliminary Duff + Lindsay came into the room. + </p> + <p> + “Do I interrupt a rehearsal?” he asked; but there was nothing in the way + he walked across the room to Hilda Howe to suggest that the idea abashed + him. For her part she rose and made one short step to meet him, and then + received him as it were with both hands and all her heart. + </p> + <p> + “How ridiculous you are!” she cried. “Of course not. And let me tell you + it is very nice of you to come this very first day when one was dying to + be welcomed. Miss Filbert came too, and we have been talking about our + respective walks in life. Let me introduce you. Miss Filbert—Captain + Filbert, of the Salvation Army—Mr. Duff Lindsay of Calcutta.” + </p> + <p> + She watched with interest the gravity with which they bowed, and the + difference in it: his the simple formality of his class, Laura's a + repressed hostility to such an epitome of the world as he looked, although + any Bond Street tailor would have impeached his waistcoat, and one shabby + glove had manifestly never been on. Yet Miss Filbert's first words seemed + to show a slight unbending. “Won't you sit there?” she said, indicating + the sofa corner she had been occupying. “You get the glare from the window + where you are.” It was virtually a command, delivered with a complete air + of dignity and authority; and Lindsay, in some confusion, found himself + obeying. “Oh, thank you, thank you,” he said. “One doesn't really mind in + the least. Do you—do you object to it? Shall I close the shutters?” + </p> + <p> + “If you do,” said Miss Howe delightedly, “we shall not be able to see.” + </p> + <p> + “Neither we should,” he assented; “the others are closed already. Very + badly built these Calcutta houses, aren't they? Have you been long in + India, Miss—Captain Filbert?” + </p> + <p> + “I served a year up-country, and then fell ill and had to go home on + furlough. The native food didn't suit me. I am stationed in Calcutta now, + but I have only just come.” + </p> + <p> + “Pleasant time of the year to arrive,” Mr. Lindsay remarked. + </p> + <p> + “Yes; but we are not particular about that. We love all the times and the + seasons, since every one brings its appointed opportunity. Last year, in + Mugridabad, there were more souls saved in June than in any other month.” + </p> + <p> + “Really?” asked Mr. Lindsay; but he was not looking at her with those + speculations. The light had come back upon her face. + </p> + <p> + “I will say good-bye now,” said Captain Filbert. “I have a meeting at + half-past five. Shall we have a word of prayer before I go?” + </p> + <p> + She plainly looked for immediate acquiescence; but Miss Howe said, + “Another time, dear.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, why not?” exclaimed Duff Lindsay. Hilda put the semblance of a rebuke + into her glance at him, and said, “Certainly not.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” Captain Filbert cried, “don't think you can escape that way! I will + pray for you long and late to-night, and ask my lieutenant to do so too. + Don't harden your heart, Miss Howe—the Lord is waiting to be + compassionate.” + </p> + <p> + The two were silent, and Laura walked toward the door. Just where the sun + slanted into the room and made leaf-patterns on the floor she turned and + stood for an instant in the full tide of it; and it set all the loose + tendrils of her pale yellow hair in a little flame, and gave the folds of + the flesh-coloured sari that fell over her shoulder the texture of + draperies so often depicted as celestial. The sun sought into her face, + revealing nothing but great purity of line and a clear pallor except where + below the wide light blue eyes two ethereal shadows brushed themselves. + Under the intentness of their gaze she made as if she would pass out + without speaking; and the tender curves of her limbs, as she wavered, + could not have been matched out of mediaeval stained glass. But her + courage, or her conviction, came back to her at the door, and she raised + her hand and pointed at Hilda. + </p> + <p> + “She's got a soul worth saving.” + </p> + <p> + Then the portiere fell behind her, and nothing was said in the room until + the pad of her bare feet had ceased upon the stair. + </p> + <p> + “She came out in the Bengal with us,” Hilda told him—this is not a + special instance of it, but she could always gratify Duff Lindsay in + advance—“and she was desperately seedy, poor girl. I looked after + her a little, but it was mistaken kindness, for now she's got me on her + mind. And as the two hundred and eighty million benighted souls of India + are her continual concern, I seem a superfluity. To think of being the two + hundred and eighty millionth and first oppresses one.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay listened with a look of accustomed happiness. + </p> + <p> + “You weren't at that end of the ship?” he demanded. + </p> + <p> + “Of course I was—we all were. And some of us—little Miss + Stace, for instance—thankful enough at the prospect of cold meat and + sardines for tea every night for a whole month. And, after Suez, ices for + dinner on Sundays. It was luxury.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay was pulling an aggrieved moustache. “I don't call it fair or + friendly,” he said, “when you know how easily it could have been arranged. + Your own sense of the fitness of things should have told you that the + second-class saloon was no place for you. For YOU!” + </p> + <p> + Plainly she did not intend to argue the point. She poised her chin in her + hand and looked away over his head, and he could not help seeing, as he + had seen before, that her eyes were beautiful. But this had been so long + acknowledged between them that she could hardly have been conscious that + she was insisting on it afresh. Then by the time he might have thought her + launched upon a different meditation, her mind swept back to his protest, + like a whimsical bird. + </p> + <p> + “I didn't want to extract anything from the mercantile community of + Calcutta in advance,” she said. “It would be most unbusinesslike. Stanhope + has been equal to bringing us out; but I quite see myself, as leading + lady, taking round the hat before the end of the season. Then I think,” + she said with defiance, “that I shall avoid you.” + </p> + <p> + “And pray why?” + </p> + <p> + “Because you would put too much in. According to your last letters you are + getting beastly rich. You would take all the tragedy out of the situation, + and my experience would vanish in your cheque.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know why my feelings should always be cuffed out of the way of + your experiences,” Lindsay said. She retorted, “Oh yes, you do”; and they + regarded each other through an instant's silence with visible + good-fellowship. + </p> + <p> + “A reasonably strong company this time?” Lindsay asked. + </p> + <p> + “Thank you. 'Company' is gratifying. For a month we have been a 'troupe'—in + the first-class end. Fairish. Bad to middling. Fifteen of us, and when we + are not doing Hamlet and Ophelia we can please with light comedy, or the + latest thing in rainbow chiffon done on mirrors with a thousand + candlepower. Bradley and I will have to do most of the serious work. But I + have improved—oh, a lot. You wouldn't know my Lady Whippleton.” + </p> + <p> + It was a fervid announcement, but it carried an implication which appeared + to prevent Lindsay's kindling. + </p> + <p> + “Then Bradley is here too?” he remarked. + </p> + <p> + “Oh yes,” she said; and an instinct sheathed itself in her face. “But it + is much better than it was, really. He is hardly ever troublesome now. He + understands. And he teaches me a great deal more than I can tell you. You + know,” she asserted, with the effect of taking an independent view, “as an + artist he has my unqualified respect.” + </p> + <p> + “You have a fine disregard for the fact that artists are men when they are + not women,” Duff said. “I don't believe their behaviour is a bit more + affected by their artistry than it would be by a knowledge of the higher + mathematics.” + </p> + <p> + She turned indignant eyes on him. “Fancy YOUR saying that! Fancy your + having the impertinence to offer me so absurd a sophistry! At what + Calcutta dinner-table did you pick it up?” she cried derisively. “Well, it + shows that one can't trust one's best friend loose among the conventions!” + </p> + <p> + He had decided that it would be a trifle edged to say that such matters + were not often discussed at Calcutta dinner-tables, when she added, with + apparent inconsistency and real dejection, “It IS a hideous bore.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay saw his point admitted, and even in the way she brushed it aside + he felt that she was generous. Yet something in him—perhaps the + primitive hunting instinct, perhaps a more sophisticated Scotch impulse to + explore the very roots of every matter, tempted him to say, “He gives up a + good deal, doesn't he, for his present gratification?” + </p> + <p> + “He gives up everything! That is the disgusting part of it. Leander Morris + offered him—But why should I tell you? It's humiliating enough in + the very back of one's mind.” + </p> + <p> + “He is a clever fellow, no doubt.” + </p> + <p> + “Not too clever to act with me! Oh, we go beautifully—we melt, we + run together. He has given me some essential things, and now I can give + them back to him. I begin to think that is what keeps him now. It must be + awfully satisfying to generate artistic life in—in anybody, and + watch it grow.” + </p> + <p> + “Doubtless,” said Lindsay, with his eyes on the carpet; and her eyebrows + twitched together, but she said nothing. Although she knew his very + moderate power of analysis he seemed to look, with his eyes on the carpet, + straight into the subject, to perceive it with a cynical clearness, and as + Hilda watched him a little hardness came about her mouth. “Well,” he said, + visibly detaching himself from the matter, “it's a satisfaction to have + you back. I have been doing nothing, literally, since you went away, but + making money and playing tennis. Existence, as I look back upon it, is + connoted by a varying margin of profit and a vast sward.” + </p> + <p> + She looked at him with eyes in which sympathy stood remotely, considering + the advisability of returning. “It's a pity you can't act,” she said; + “then you could come away and let it all go.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay smiled at her across the gulf he saw fixed. “How simple life is to + you!” he said. “But anyway I couldn't act.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh no, you couldn't, you couldn't! You are too intensely absorbent, you + are too rigidly individual. The flame in you would never consent even for + an instant to be the flame in anybody else—any of those people who, + for the purpose of the state, are called imaginary. Never!” + </p> + <p> + It seemed a punishment, but all Lindsay said was: “I wish you would go on. + You can't think how gratifying it is—after the tennis.” + </p> + <p> + “If I went on I have an idea that I might be disagreeable.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh then, stop. We can't quarrel yet—I've hardly seen you. Are you + comfortable here? Would you like some French novels?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, thank you. Yes, please!” She grew before him into a light and + conventional person, apparently on her guard against freedom of speech. He + moved a blind and ineffectual hand about to find the spring she had + detached herself from, and after failing for a quarter of an hour he got + up to go. + </p> + <p> + “I shan't bother you again before Saturday,” he said; “I know what a week + it will be at the theatre. Remember you are to give the man his orders + about the brougham. I can get on perfectly with the cart. Good-bye! + Calcutta is waiting for you.” + </p> + <p> + “Calcutta is never impatient,” said Miss Howe. “It is waiting with yawns + and much whisky and soda.” She gave him a stately inclination with her + hand, and he overcame the temptation to lay his own on his heart in a + burlesque of it. At the door he remembered something, and turned. He stood + looking back precisely where Laura Filbert had stood, but the sun was + gone. “You might tell me more about your friend of the altruistic army,” + he said. + </p> + <p> + “You saw, you heard, you know.” + </p> + <p> + “But—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” cried she, disregardingly, “you can discover her for yourself, at + the Army Headquarters in Bentinck Street—you man!” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay closed the door behind him without replying, and half-way down the + stairs her voice appealed to him over the banisters. + </p> + <p> + “You might as well forget that. I didn't particularly mean it.” + </p> + <p> + “I know you didn't,” he returned. “You woman! But you yourself—you're + not going to play with your heavenly visitant?” + </p> + <p> + Hilda leaned upon the banisters, her arms dropping over from the elbows. + “I suppose I may look at her,” she said; and her smile glowed down upon + him. + </p> + <p> + “Do you think it really rewards attention?—the type, I mean.” + </p> + <p> + “How you will talk of types! Didn't you see that she was unique? You may + come back if you like, for a quarter of an hour, and we will discuss her.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay looked at his watch. “I would come back for a quarter of an hour + to discuss anything, or nothing,” he replied, “but there isn't time. I am + dining with the Archdeacon. I must go to church.” + </p> + <p> + “Why not be original and dine with the Archdeacon without going to church? + Why not say on arrival: 'My dear Archdeacon, your sermon and your mutton + the same evening—c'est trop! I cannot so impose upon your + generosity. I have come for the mutton!'” + </p> + <p> + Thus was Captain Laura Filbert superseded, as doubtless often before, by + an orthodox consideration. Duff Lindsay drove away in his cart; and still, + for an appreciable number of seconds, Miss Howe stood leaning over the + banisters, her eyes fixed full of speculation on the place where he had + stood. She was thinking of a scene—a dinner with an Archdeacon—and + of the permanent satisfactions to be got from it; and she renounced almost + with a palpable sigh the idea of the Archdeacon's asking her. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II + </h2> + <p> + “Oh, her gift!” said Alicia Livingstone. “It is the lowest, isn't it—in + the scale of human endowment? Mimicry.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Livingstone handed her brother his tea as she spoke, but turned her + eyes and her delicate chin up to Duff Lindsay with the protest. Lindsay's + cup was at his lips, and his eyebrows went up over it as if they would + answer before his voice was set at liberty. + </p> + <p> + “Mimicry isn't a fair word,” he said. “The mimic doesn't interpret. He's a + mere thief of expression. You can always see him behind his stolen mask. + The actress takes a different rank. This one does, anyway.” + </p> + <p> + “You're mixing her up with the apes and the monkeys,” remarked + Surgeon-Major Livingstone. + </p> + <p> + “Mere imitators!” cried Mrs. Barberry. + </p> + <p> + Alicia did not allow the argument to pursue her. She smiled upon their + energy and, so to speak, disappeared. It was one of her little ways, and + since it left seeming conquerors on her track nobody quarrelled with it. + </p> + <p> + “I've met them in London,” she said. “Oh, I remember one hot little North + Kensington flat full of them, and their cigarettes—and they were + always disappointing. There seemed to be somehow no basis—nothing to + go upon.” + </p> + <p> + She looked from one to the other of her party with a graceful deprecating + movement of her head, a head which people were unanimous in calling more + than merely pretty and more than ordinarily refined. That was the cursory + verdict, the superficial thing to see and say; it will do to go on with. + From the way Lindsay looked at her as she spoke, he might have been + suspected of other discoveries, possible only to the somewhat privileged + in this blind world, where intimacy must lend a lens to find out anything + at all. + </p> + <p> + “You found that they had no selves,” he said, and the manner of his words + was encouraging and provocative. His proposition was obscured to him for + the instant by his desire to obtain the very last of her comment, and it + might be seen that this was habitual with him. “But Miss Hilda Howe has + one.” + </p> + <p> + “Is she a lady?” asked Mrs. Barberry. + </p> + <p> + “I don't know. She's an individual. I prefer to rest my claim for her on + that.” + </p> + <p> + “Your claim to what?” trembled upon Miss Livingstone's lips, but she + closed them instead, and turned her head again to listen to Mrs. Barberry. + The turns of Alicia's head had a way of punctuating the conversations in + which she was interested, imparting elegance and relief. + </p> + <p> + “I saw her in A Woman of Honour, last cold weather,” Mrs. Barberry said; + “I took a dinner-party of five girls and five subalterns from the Fort, + and I said, 'Never again!' Fortunately the girls were just out, and not + one of them understood, but those poor boys didn't know where to look! And + no more did I. So disgustingly real.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia's eyes veiled themselves to rest on a ring on her finger, and a + little smile, which was inconsistent with the veiling, hovered about her + lips. + </p> + <p> + “I was in England last year,” she said; “I—I saw A Woman of Honour + in London. What could possibly be done with it by an Australian scratch + company in a Calcutta theatre! Imagination halts.” + </p> + <p> + “Miss Howe did something with it,” observed Mr. Lindsay. “That and one or + two other things carried one through last cold weather. One supported even + the gaieties of Christmas week with fortitude, conscious that there was + something to fall back upon. I remember I went to the State ball, and + cheerfully.” + </p> + <p> + “That's saying a good deal, isn't it?” commented Dr. Livingstone, vaguely + aware of an ironical intention. “By Jove! yes.” + </p> + <p> + “Hamilton Bradley is good, too, isn't he?” Mrs. Barberry said. “Such a + magnificent head. I adore him in Shakespeare.” + </p> + <p> + “He knows the conventions, and uses them with security,” Lindsay replied, + looking at Alicia; and she, with a little courageous air, demanded— + </p> + <p> + “Is the story true?” + </p> + <p> + “The story of their relations? I suppose there are fifty. One of them is.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Barberry frowned at Lindsay in a manner which was itself a + reminiscence of amateur theatricals. “Their relations!” she murmured to + Dr. Livingstone. “What awful things to talk about!” + </p> + <p> + “The story I mean,” Alicia explained, “is to the effect that Mr. Bradley, + who is married, but unimportantly, made a heavy bet, when he met this + girl, that he would subdue her absolutely through her passion for her art—I + mean, of course, her affections—” + </p> + <p> + “My dear girl, we know what you mean,” cried Mrs. Barberry, entering a + protest as it were, on behalf of the gentlemen. + </p> + <p> + “And precisely the reverse happened.” + </p> + <p> + “One imagines it was something like that,” Lindsay said. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, did she know about the bet?” cried Mrs. Barberry. + </p> + <p> + “That's as you like to believe. I fancy she knew about the man,” Lindsay + contributed again. + </p> + <p> + “Tables turned, eh? Daresay it served him right,” remarked Dr. + Livingstone. “If you really want to come to the laboratory, Mrs. Barberry, + we ought to be off?” + </p> + <p> + “He is going to show me a bacillus,” Mrs. Barberry announced with + enthusiasm. “Plague, or cholera, or something really bad. He caught it two + days ago, and put it in jelly for me—wasn't it dear of him! + Good-bye, you nice thing”—Mrs. Barberry addressed Alicia—“Good-bye, + Mr. Lindsay. Fancy—a live bacillus from Hong Kong! I should like it + better if it came from fascinating Japan, but still—goodbye.” + </p> + <p> + With the lady's departure an air of wontedness seemed to repossess the + room, and the two people who were left. Things fell into their places, one + could observe relative beauty, on the walls and on the floor, in Alicia's + hair and in her skirt. Little meanings attached themselves—to oval + portraits of ladies, evidently ancestral, whose muslin sleeves were tied + with blue ribbon, to Byzantine-looking Persian paintings, to odd brass + bowls and faint-coloured embroideries. The air became full of agreeable + exhalations traceable to inanimate objects, or to a rose in a vase of + common country glass; and if one turned to Alicia one could almost observe + the process by which they were absorbed in her and given forth again with + a delicacy more vague. Lindsay sometimes thought of the bee, and flowers + and honey, but always abandoned the simile as a trifle gross and material. + Certainly as she sat there in her grace and slenderness and pale clear + tints—there was an effect of early morning about her that made the + full tide of other women's sunlight vulgar—anyone would have been + fastidious in the choice of a figure to present her in. With a suspicion + of haughtiness she was drawn for the traditional marchioness; but she + lifted her eyes and you saw that she appealed instead. There was an art in + the doing of her hair, a dainty elaboration that spoke of the most + approved conventions beneath, yet it was impossible to mistake the freedom + of spirit that lay in the lines of her blouse. Even her gracefulness ran + now and then into a downrightness of movement which suggested the + assertion of a primitive sincerity in a personal world of many effects. + Into her making of tea, for example, she put nothing more sophisticated + than sugar, and she ordered more bread and butter in the worst possible + rendering of her servants' tongue, without a thought except that the bread + and butter should be brought. Lindsay liked to think that with him she was + particularly simple and direct, that he was of those who freed her from + the pretty consciousness, the elegant restraint that other people fixed + upon her. It must be admitted that this conviction had reason in + establishing itself, and it is perhaps not surprising that, in the + security of it, he failed to notice occasions when it would not have held, + of which this was plainly one. Alicia reflected, with her cheek against + the Afghan wolf-skins on the back of the chair. It was characteristic of + her eyes that one could usually see things being turned over in them. She + would sometimes keep people waiting while she thought. She thought + perceptibly about Hilda Howe, slanting her absent gaze between sheltering + eyelids to the floor. Presently she rearranged the rose in its green glass + vase, and said, “Then it's impossible not to be interested.” + </p> + <p> + “I thought you would find it so.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia was further occupied in bestowing small fragments of cress sandwich + upon a terrier. “Fancy your being so sure,” she said, “that you could + present her entertainingly!” She looked past him toward the light that + came in at the draped window, and he was not aware that her regard held + him fast by the way. + </p> + <p> + “Anyone could,” he said cheerfully. “She presents herself. One is only the + humblest possible medium. And the most passive.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia's eyes were still attracted by the light from the window. It + silhouetted a rare fern from Assam which certainly rewarded them. + </p> + <p> + “I like to hear you talk about her. Tell me some more.” + </p> + <p> + “Haven't I exhausted metaphor in describing her?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said Miss Livingstone, with conviction; “but I'm not a bit + satisfied. A few simple facts sometimes—sometimes are better. Wasn't + it a little difficult to make her acquaintance?” + </p> + <p> + “Not in the very least. I saw her in A Woman of Honour, and was charmed. + Charmed in a new way. Next day I discovered her address—it's obscure—and + sent up my card for permission to tell her so. I explained to her that one + would have hesitated at home, but here one was protected by the custom. + And she received me warmly. She gave me to understand that she was not + overwhelmed with tribute of that kind from Calcutta. The truthful ring of + it was pathetic, poor dear.” + </p> + <p> + “That was in—” + </p> + <p> + “In February.” + </p> + <p> + “In February we were at Nice,” Alicia said, musingly. Then she took up her + divining-rod again. “One can imagine that she was grateful. People of that + kind—how snobbish I sound, but you know what I mean—are rather + stranded in Calcutta, aren't they? They haven't any world here;” and, with + the quick glance which deprecated her timid clevernesses, she added, “The + arts conspire to be absent.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, don't misunderstand. If there was any gratitude it was all mine. But + we met as kindred, if I may vaunt myself so much. A mere theory of life + will go a long way, you know, toward establishing a claim of that sort. + And, at all events, she is good enough to treat me as if she admitted it.” + </p> + <p> + “What is her theory of life?” Alicia demanded quickly. “I should be glad + of a new one.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay's communicativeness seemed to contract a little, as at the touch + of a finger light, but cold. + </p> + <p> + “I don't think she has ever told me,” he said. “No, I am sure she has + not.” His reflection was: “It is her garment—how could it fit + another woman!” + </p> + <p> + “But you have divined it—she has let you do that! You can give me + your impression.” + </p> + <p> + He recognised her bright courage in venturing upon impalpabilities, but + not without a shade of embarrassment. + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps. But having perceived, to pass on—it doesn't follow that + one can. I don't seem able to lay my hand upon the signs and symbols.” + </p> + <p> + The faintest look of disappointment, the lightest cloud of submission, + appeared upon Miss Livingstone's face. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I know!” she said. “You are making me feel dreadfully out of it, but + I know. It surrounds her like a kind of atmosphere, an intellectual + atmosphere. Though I confess that is the part I don't understand in + connection with an actress.” + </p> + <p> + There was a sudden indifference in this last sentence. Alicia lay back + upon her wolf-skins like a long-stemmed flower cast down among them, and + looked away from the subject at the teacups. Duff picked up his hat. He + had the subtlest intimations with women. + </p> + <p> + “It's an intoxicating atmosphere,” he said. “My continual wonder is that + I'm not in love with her. A fellow in a novel, now, in my situation, would + be embroiled with half his female relations by this time, and taking his + third refusal with a haggard eye.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia still contemplated the teacups, but with intentness. She lifted her + head to look at them; one might have imagined a beauty suddenly revealed. + </p> + <p> + “Why aren't you?” she said. “I wonder, too.” + </p> + <p> + “I should like it enormously,” he laughed. “I've lain awake at nights + trying to find out why it isn't so. Perhaps you'll be able to tell me. I + think it must be because she's such a confoundedly good fellow.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia turned her face toward him sweetly, and the soft grey fur made a + shadow on the whiteness of her throat. Her buffeting was over; she was + full of an impulse to stand again in the sun. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, you mustn't depend on me,” she said. “But why are you going? Don't + go. Stay and have another cup of tea.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III + </h2> + <p> + The fact that Stephen Arnold and Duff Lindsay had spent the same terms at + New College, and now found themselves again together in the social poverty + of the Indian capital, would not necessarily explain their walking in + company through the early dusk of a December evening in Bentinck Street. + It seems desirable to supply a reason why anyone should be walking there, + to begin with, anyone, at all events, not a Chinaman, or a coolie, a + dealer in second-hand furniture, or an able-bodied seaman luxuriously + fingering wages in both trouser pockets, and describing an erratic line of + doubtful temper toward the nearest glass of country spirits. Or, to be + quite comprehensive, a draggled person with a Bulgarian, a Levantine, or a + Japanese smile, who no longer possessed a carriage, to whom the + able-bodied seaman represented the whole port. The cramped twisting + thoroughfare was full of people like this; they overflowed from the single + narrow border of pavement to the left, and walked indifferently upon the + road among the straw-scatterings and the dung-droppings; and when the + tramcar swept through and past with prodigious whistlings and ringings, + they swerved as little as possible aside. Three parts of the tide of them + were neither white nor black, but many shades of brown, written down in + the census as “of mixed Mood,” and wearing still, through the degenerating + centuries, an eyebrow, a nostril of the first Englishmen who came to + conjugal ties of Hindustan. The place sent up to the stars a vast noise of + argument and anger and laughter, of the rattling of hoofs and wheels; but + the babel was ordered in its exaggeration, the red turban of a policeman + here and there denoted little more than a unit in the crowd. There were + gas-lamps, and they sent a ripple of light like a sword-thrust along the + gutter beside the banquette, where a pariah dog nosed a dead rat and was + silhouetted. They picked out, too, the occasional pair of Corinthian + columns, built into the squalid stucco sheer with the road that made + history for Bentinck Street, and explained that whatever might be the + present colour of the little squat houses and the tall lean ones that + loafed together into the fog round the first bend, they were once + agreeably pink and yellow, with the magenta cornice, the blue capital, + that fancy dictated. There where the way narrowed with an out-jutting + balcony high up, and the fog thickened and the lights grew vague, the + multitude of heads passed into the blur beyond with an effect of mystery, + pictorial, remote; but where Arnold and Lindsay walked the squalor was + warm, human, practical. A torch flamed this way and that, stuck in the + wall over the head of a squatting bundle and his tray of three-cornered + leaf-parcels of betel, and an oiled rag in a tin pot sent up an unsteady + little flame, blue and yellow, beside a sweetmeat seller's basket, and + showed his heap of cakes that they were well-browned and full of butter. + From the “Cape of Good Cheer,” where many bottles glistened in rows + inside, came a braying upon the conch, and a flame of burnt brandy danced + along the bar to the honour and propitiation of Lakshmi, that the + able-bodied seaman might be thirsty when he came, for the “Cape of Good + Cheer” did not owe its prosperity, as its name might suggest, to any + Providence of our theology. But most of the brightness abode in the + Chinamen's shoe shops, where many lamps shone on the hammering and the + stitching. There were endless shoe shops, and they all belonged to Powson + or Singson or Samson, while one sign-board bore the broad impertinence + “Macpherson.” The proprietors stood in the door, the smell came out in the + street—that smell of Chinese personality steeped in fried oil and + fresh leather that out-fans even the south wind in Bentinck Street. They + were responsible but not anxious, the proprietors: they buried their fat + hands in their wide sleeves and looked up and down, stolid and smiling. + They stood in their alien petticoat trousers for the commercial stability + of the locality, and the rows of patent leather slippers that glistened + behind them testified to it further. Everything else shifted and drifted, + with a perpetual change of complexion, a perpetual worsening of clothes. + Only Powson bore a permanent yoke of prosperity. It lay round his thick + brown neck with the low clean line of his blue cotton smock, and he + carried it without offensive consciousness, looking up and down by no + means in search of customers, rather in the exercise of the opaque, + inscrutable philosophy tied up in his queue. + </p> + <p> + Lindsay liked Bentinck Street as an occasional relapse from the scenic + standards of pillared and verandahed Calcutta, and made personal business + with his Chinaman for the sake of the racial impression thrown into the + transaction. Arnold, in his cassock, waited in the doorway with his arms + crossed behind him, and his thin face thrust as far as it would go into + the air outside. It is possible that some intelligences might have seen in + this priest a caricature of his profession, a figure to be copied for the + curate of burlesque, so accurately did he reproduce the common signs of + the ascetic school. His face would have been womanish in its plainness but + for the gravity that had grown upon it, only occasionally dispersed by a + smile of scholarliness and sweetness which had the effect of being + permitted, conceded. He had the long thin nose which looked as if for + preference it would be forever thrust among the pages of the Fathers; and + anyone might observe the width of his mouth without perhaps detecting the + patience and decision of the upper lip. The indignity of spectacles he did + not yet wear, but it hovered over him; it was indispensable to his + personality in the long-run. In figure he was indifferently tall and thin + and stooping, made to pass unobservedly along a pavement or with the + directness of humble but important business among crowds. At Oxford he had + interested some of his friends and worried others by wistful inclinations + toward the shelter of that Mother Church which bids her children be at + rest and leave to her the responsibility. Lindsay, with his robust sense + of a right to exist on the old unmuddled fighting terms, to be a sane and + decent animal, under civilised moral governance a miserable sinner, was + among those who observed his waverings without prejudice or anything but + an affectionate solicitude that, whichever way Arnold went, he should find + the satisfactions he sought. The conviction that settled the matter was + accidental, the work of a moment, a free instinct and a thing made with + hands—the dead Shelley where the sea threw him and the sculptor + fixed him, under his memorial dome in the gardens of University College. + Here one leafy afternoon Arnold came so near praying that he raised his + head in confusion at the thought of the profane handicraftsman who might + claim the vague tribute of his spirit. Then fell the flash by which he saw + deeply concealed in his bosom, and disguised with a host of spiritual + wrappings, what he uncompromisingly identified as the artistic bias, the + aesthetic point of view. The discovery worked upon him so that he spent + three days without consummated prayer at all, occupied in the effort to + find out whether he could yet indeed worship in purity of spirit, or how + far the paralysis of the ideal of mere beauty had crept upon his + devotions. In the end he cast the artistic bias, the aesthetic point of + view, as far from him as his will would carry, and walked away in another + direction, from which, if he turned his head, he could see the Church of + Rome sitting with her graven temptations gathered up in her skirts, + looking mournfully after him. He had been a priest of the Clarke Mission + to Calcutta, a “Clarke Brother,” six years when he stood in the door of + Ahsing's little shop in Bentinck Street, while Lindsay explained to Ahsing + his objection to patent leather toe-caps; six years which had not worn or + chilled him, because, as he would have cheerfully admitted, he had + recognised the facts and lowered his personal hopes of achievement—lowered + them with a heroism which took account of himself as no more than a + spiritual molecule rightly inspired and moving to the great future already + shining behind coming aeons of the universal Kingdom. Indeed, his humility + was scientific; he made his deductions from the granular nature of all + change, moral and material. He never talked or thought of the Aryan souls + that were to shine with peculiar Oriental brightness as stars in the crown + of his reward; he saw rather the ego and the energy of him merged in a + wave of blessed tendency in this world, thankful if, in that which is to + come, it was counted worthy to survive at all. It should be understood + that Arnold did not hope to attain the simplicity of this by means equally + simple. He held vastly, on the contrary, to fast days and flagellations, + to the ministry of symbols, the use of rigours. The spiritual consummation + which the eye of faith enabled him to anticipate upon the horizon of + Bengal should be hastened, however imperceptibly, by all that he could do + to purify and intensify his infinitesimal share of the force that was to + bring it about. Meanwhile he made friends with the fathers of Bengali + schoolboys, who appreciated his manners, and sent him with urbanity flat + baskets of mangoes and nuts and oranges, pomegranates from Persia, and + little round boxes of white grapes in sawdust from Kabul. He seldom dwelt + upon the converts that already testified to the success of the mission; it + might be gathered that he had ideas about premature fruition. + </p> + <p> + As they stepped out together into the street, Lindsay thrust his hand + within Arnold's elbow. It was an impulse, and the analysis of it would + show elements like self-reproach, and a sense of value continually + renewed, and a vain desire for an absolutely common ground. The physical + nearness, the touch, was something, and each felt it in the remoteness of + his other world with satisfaction. There was absurdly little in what they + had to say to each other; they talked of the Viceroy's attack of measles + and the sanitary improvements in the cloth dealers' quarter. Their bond + was hardly more than a mutual decency of nature, niceness of sentiment, + clearness of eye. Such as it was, it was strong enough to make both men + wish it were stronger, a desire which was a vague impatience on Lindsay's + part with a concentration of hostility to Arnold's soutane. It made its + universal way for them, however, this garment. Where the crowd was + thickest people jostled and pressed with one foot in the gutter for the + convenience of the padre sahib. He, with his eyes cast down, took the + tribute with humility, as meet, in a way that made Lindsay blaspheme + inwardly at the persistence of ecclesiastical tradition. + </p> + <p> + Suddenly, as they passed, the irrelevant violence of tongues, the broken, + half-comprehensible tumult was smitten and divided by a wave of rhythmic + sound. It pushed aside the cries of the sweetmeat sellers, and mounted + above the cracked bell that proclaimed the continual auction of Kristo + Dass and Friend, dealers in the second-hand. In its vivid familiarity it + seemed to make straight for the two Englishmen, to surround and take + possession of them, and they paused. The source of it was plain—an + open door under a vast white signboard dingily lettered “The Salvation + Army.” It loomed through the smoke and the streetlights like a discovery. + </p> + <p> + “Our peripatetic friends,” said Arnold, with his rare smile; and as if the + music seized and held them, they stood listening. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “I've got a Saviour that's mighty to keep + All day on Sunday and six days a week! + I've got a Saviour that's mighty to keep + Fifty-two weeks in the year.” + </pre> + <p> + It was immensely vigorous; the men looked at each other with fresh + animation. Responding to the mere physical appeal of it, they picked their + steps across the street to the door, and there hesitated, revolted in + different ways. Perhaps, I have forgotten to say that Lindsay came to + Calcutta out of an Aberdeenshire manse, and had had a mother before whose + name, while she lived, people wrote “The Hon.” Besides, the singing had + stopped, and casual observation from the street was checked by a screen. + </p> + <p> + “I have wondered sometimes what their methods really are,” said Arnold. + </p> + <p> + Their methods were just on the other side of the screen. A bullet-headed + youth, in a red coat with gold letters on the shoulders, fingering a cap, + slunk out round the end of this impediment, passing the two men beside the + door, and a light, clear voice seemed to call after him— + </p> + <p> + “Ah! don't go away!” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay was visited by a flash of memory and a whimsical speculation + whether now, at the week's end, the soul of Hilda Howe was still pursuing + the broad road to perdition. The desire to enter sprang up in him: he was + reminded of a vista of some interest which had recently revealed itself by + an accident, and which he had not explored. It had almost passed out of + his memory; he grasped at it again with something like excitement, and + fell adroitly upon the half inclination in Arnold's voice. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose I can't expect you to go in?” he said. + </p> + <p> + “Precisely why not?” Stephen retorted. “My dear fellow, we make broad our + sympathies, not our phylacteries.” + </p> + <p> + At any other time Lindsay would have reflected how characteristic was the + gentle neatness of that, and might have resented with amusement the pulpit + tone of the little epigram. But this moment found him only aware of the + consent in it. His hand on Arnold's elbow clinched the agreement; he half + pushed the priest into the room, where they dropped into seats. Stephen's + hand went to his breast instinctively, for the words in the air were holy + by association, and stopped there, since even the breadth of his + sympathies did not enable him to cross himself before General Booth. + Though absent in body, the room was dominated by General Booth; he loomed + so large and cadaverous, so earnest and aquiline and bushy, from a frame + on the wall at the end of it. The texts on the other walls seemed + emanations from him; and the man in the short loose, collarless red coat, + with “Salvation Army” in crooked black letters on it, who stood talking in + high, rapid tones with his hands folded, had the look of a puppet whose + strings were pulled by the personality in the frame above him. It was only + by degrees that they observed the other objects in the room—the big + drum on the floor in the empty space where the exhorters stood, the dozen + wooden benches and the possible score of people sitting on them, the dull + kerosene lamps on the walls, lighting up the curtness of the texts. There + were half a dozen men of the Duke's Own packed in a row like a formation, + solid on their haunches; and three or four unshaven and loose-garmented, + from crews in the Hooghly, who leaned well forwards their elbows on their + knees, twirling battered straw hats, with a pathetic look of being for the + instant off the defensive. One was a Scandinavian, another a Greek, with + earrings. There was a ship's cook, too, a full-blooded negro, very + respectable with a plaid tie and a silk hat; and beside, two East Indian + girls of different shades, tittering at the Duke's Own in an agony of + propriety; a Bengali boy, who spelled out the English on the cover of a + hymn-book; and a very clean Chinaman, who appreciated his privilege, since + it included a seat, a lamp, and a noise, though his perception of it + possibly went no further. The other odds and ends were of the mixed + country blood, like the girls, dingy, undecipherable. They made a shadow + for the rest, lying along the benches, shifting unnoticeably. + </p> + <p> + Three people, two of them women, sat in the open space at the end of the + room where the smoky fog from outside thickened and hung visibly in + mid-air, and there was the empty seat of the man who was talking. Laura + Filbert was one of the women. She might have been flung upon her chair; + her head drooped over the back, buried in the curve of one arm. A + tambourine hung loosely from the hand nearest her face; the other lay, + palm outward in its abandonment, among the folds that covered her limbs. + The folds hung from her waist, and she wore above them a short close + bodice like a Bengali woman. Her head covering had slipped, and clung only + to the knot of hair at the nape of her neck; she lacked, pathetically, the + conscious hand to draw it forward. She was unaware even of the gaze of the + Duke's Own, though it had fixity and absorption. + </p> + <p> + The man with folded hands went on talking. He seemed to have caught as a + text the refrain of the hymn that had been sung. “Yes, indeed,” he said. + “I can tell heveryone 'ere this night, heveryone, that the Saviour is + mighty to keep. I 'ave got it out of my own personal experience, I 'ave. + Jesus don't only look after you on a Sunday, but six days a week, my + friends, six days a week. Fix your eye on Him and He'll keep His eye on + you—that's all your part of it. I don't mean to say I don't stumble + an' fall into sin. There's times when the Devil will get the upper 'and, + but oh, my friends, I ask you, each an' hevery one of you, is that the + fault of Jesus? No, it is not 'Is fault, it is the fault of the person. + The person 'as been forgetting Jesus, forgetting 'is Bible an' 'is + prayers; what can you expect? And now I ask you, my friends, is Jesus + a-keeping you? And if He is not, oh, my friends, ain't it foolish to put + off any longer? 'Ere we are met together to-night; we may never all meet + together again. You and I may never 'ear each other speaking again or see + each other sitting there. Thank God,” the speaker continued, as his eye + rested on Arnold and Lindsay, “the vilest sinner may be saved, the + respectable sinner may be saved. We've got God's word for that. Now just a + little word of prayer from Ensign Sand 'ere—she's got God's ear, the + Ensign 'as, and she'll plead with 'im for all unconverted souls inside + these four walls to-night.” + </p> + <p> + Laura lifted her head at this and dropped with the other exhorters on her + knees on the floor. As she moved she bent upon the audience a preoccupied + gaze, by which she seemed to observe numbers, chances, from a point remote + and emotionally involved. Lindsay's impression was that she looked at him + as from behind a glass door. Then her eyes closed as the other woman + began, and through their lids, as it were, he could see that she was again + caught up, though her body remained abased, her hands interlocked between + her knees, swaying in unison with the petition. The Ensign was a little + meagre freckled woman, whose wisps of colourless hair and tight drawn-down + lips suggested that in the secular world she would have been bedraggled + and a nagger. She gained an elevation, it was plain, from the Bengali + dress; it kept her away from the temptation of cheap plush and dirty + cotton lace; and her business gave her a complacency which was doubtless + accepted as sanctification by her fellow-officers, especially by her + husband, who had announced her influence with the Divine Being, and who + was himself of an inferior commission. She prayed in a complaining way, + and in a strained minor key that assumed a spiritual intimacy with all who + listened, her key to hearts. She told the Lord in confidence that however + appearances might be against it every soul before him was really longing + to be gathered within His almighty arms, and when she said this, Laura + Filbert, on the floor, threw back her head and cried “Hallelujah!” and + Duff started. The mothers broke in upon the Ensign with like exclamations. + They had a recurrent, perfunctory sound, and passed unnoticed; but when + Laura again cried “Praise the Lord!” Lindsay found himself holding in + check a hasty impulse to leave the premises. Then she rose, and he watched + with the Duke's Own to see what she would do next. The others looked at + her too, as she stood surprisingly fair and insistent among them, Ensign + Sand with humble eyes and disapproving lips. As she began to speak the + silence widened for her words, the ship's cook stopped shuffling his feet. + “Oh come,” she said, “Come and be saved!” Her voice seemed to travel from + her without effort, and to penetrate every corner and every consciousness. + There was a sudden dip in it like the fall of water, that thrilled along + the nerves. “Who am I that ask you? A poor weak woman, ignorant, unknown. + Never mind. It is not my voice but the voice in your heart that entreats + you 'Come and be saved!' You know that voice; it speaks in the watches of + the night; it began to speak when you were a little, little child, with + little joys and sorrows and little prayers that you have forgotten now. + Oh, it is a sweet voice, a tender voice”—her own had dropped to the + cooing of doves—“it is hard to know why all the winds do not carry + it, and all the leaves whisper it! Strange, strange! But the world is full + of the clamour of its own foolishness, and the voice is lost in it, except + in places where people come to pray, as here to-night, and in those night + watches. You hear it now in the echo from my lips, 'Come and be saved.' + Why must I beg of you? Why do you not come hastening, running? Are you too + wise? But when did the wisdom of this world satisfy you about the next? + Are you too much occupied? But in the day of judgment what will you do?”— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “When you come to Jordan's flood, + How will you do? How will you do?” + </pre> + <p> + It was the voice and tambourine of Ensign Sand, quick upon her + opportunity. Laura gave her no glance of surprise—perhaps she was + disciplined to interruptions—but caught up her own tambourine, + singing, and instantly the chorus was general, the Big drum thumping out + the measure, all the tambourines shaking together. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “You who now contemn your God, + How will you do? How will you do?” + </pre> + <p> + The Duke's Own sang lustily with a dogged enjoyment that made little of + the words. Some of them assumed a vacuity to counteract the sentiment, but + most of the sheepish countenances expressed that the tune was the thing, + one or two with a smile of jovial cynicism, and kept time with their feet. + Through the medley of voices—everybody sang except Arnold and + Lindsay and the Chinaman—Laura's seemed to flow, separate and clear, + threading the jangle upon melody, and turning the doggerel into an appeal, + direct, intense. When Lindsay presently saw it addressed to him, in the + unmistakable intention of her eyes, he caught his breath. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Death will be a solemn day + When the soul is forced away, + It will be too late to pray; + How will you do?” + </pre> + <p> + It was simple enough. All her supreme desire to convince, to turn, to make + awfully plain, had centred upon the single person in the room with whom + she had the advantage of acquaintance, whose face her own could seek with + a kind of right to response. But the sensation Duff Lindsay tried to sit + still under was not simple. It had the novelty, the shock, of a plunge + into the sea; behind his decorous countenance he gasped and blinked, with + unfamiliar sounds in his ears. His soul seemed shudderingly repelling + Laura's, yet the buffets themselves were enthralling. In the strangeness + of it he made a mechanical movement to depart, picked up his stick, but + Arnold was sitting holding his chin, wrapped in quiet interest, and took + no notice. The hymn stopped, and he found a few minutes' respite, during + which Ensign Sand addressed the meeting, unveiling each heart to its + possessor; while Laura turned over the leaves of the hymn-book, looking, + Lindsay was profoundly aware, for airs and verses most likely to help the + siege of the Army to his untaken, sinful citadel. There was time to bring + him calmness enough to wonder whether these were the symptoms of emotional + conversion, the sort of thing these people went in for, and he resolved to + watch his state with interest. Then, before he knew it, they were all down + on their knees again, and Laura was praying; and he was not aware of the + meaning of a single word that she said, only that her voice was threading + itself in and out of his consciousness burdened with a passion that made + it exquisite to him. Her appeal lifted itself in the end into song, low + and sweet. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Down at the Cross where my Saviour died, + Down where for cleansing from sin I cried, + There to my heart was the blood applied, + Glory to His name!” + </pre> + <p> + They let her sing it alone, even the tempting chorus, and when it was over + Lindsay was almost certain that his were not the preliminary pangs of + conversion by the methods of the Salvation Army. Deliberately, however, he + postponed further analysis of them until after the meeting was over. He + would be compelled then to go away, back to the club to dinner, or + something; they would put out the lights and lock the place up: he thought + of that. He glanced at the lamps with a perception of the finality that + would come when they were extinguished—she would troop away with the + others into the darkness—and then at his watch to see how much time + there was left. More exhortation followed and more prayer; he was only + aware that she did not speak. She sat with her hand over her eyes, and + Lindsay had an excited conviction that she was still occupying herself + with him. He looked round almost furtively to detect whether anyone else + was aware of it, this connection that she was blazoning between them, and + then relapsed, staring at his hat, into a sense of ungrammatical + iterations beating through a room full of stuffy smells. When Laura spoke + again his eye leaped to hers in a rapt effort to tell her that he + perceived her intention. That he should be grateful, that he should + approve, was neither here nor there; the indispensable thing was that she + should know him conscious, receptive. She read three or four sacred + verses, a throb of tender longing from the very Christheart, “Come unto + Me.”... The words stole about the room like tears. Then she would ask “all + present,” she said, to engage for a moment in silent prayer. There was a + wordless interval, only the vague street noises surging past the door. A + thrill ran along the benches as Laura brought it to an end with sudden + singing. She was on her feet as the others raised their heads, breaking + forth clear and jubilant. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “I am so wondrously saved from sin, + Jesus so sweetly abides within; + There at the Cross where He took me in, + Glory to His name!” + </pre> + <p> + She smiled as she sang. It was a happy confident smile, and it was plain + that she longed to believe it the glad reflection of the last ten minutes' + spiritual experience of many who heard her. Lindsay's perception of this + was immediate and keen, and when her eyes rested for an instant of glad + inquiry upon his in the chartered intimacy of her calling, he felt a pang + of compunction. It was a formless reproach, too vague for anything like a + charge, but it came nearest to defining itself in the idea that he had + gone too far—he who had not left his seat. When the hymn was + finished, and Ensign Sand said, “The meeting is now open for testimonies,” + he knew that all her hope was upon him, though she looked at the screen + above his head; and he sat abashed, with a prodigal sense surging through + him of what he would rejoice to do for her in compensation. In the little + chilly silence that followed he surprised his own eyes moist with + disappointment—it had all been so anxious and so vain—and he + felt relief and gratitude when the man who beat the drum stood up and + announced that he had been saved for eleven years, with details about how + badly he stood in need of it when it happened. + </p> + <p> + “Hallelujah!” said Ensign Sand cheerfully, with a meretricious air of + hearing it for the first time. “Any more?” and a Norwegian sailor lurched + shamefacedly upon his feet. He had a couple of inches of straggling yellow + beard all round his face, and fingered an old felt hat. + </p> + <p> + “I haf' to say only dis word. I goin' sdop by Jesus. Long time I subbose I + sdop by Jesus. I subbose—” + </p> + <p> + “Glory be to God!” remarked Ensign Sand again, spiking the guns of the + Duke's Own who were inclined to be amused. “That will do, thank you. Now, + is there nobody else? Speak up, friends. It'll do you no harm, none + whatever; it'll do you that much good you'll be surprised. Now, who'll be + the next to say a word for Jesus?” She was nodding encouragement at the + negro cook as if she knew him for a wavering soul, and he, sunk in his + gleaming white collar, was aware, in silent smiling misery, that the + expectations of the meeting were toward him. Laura had again hidden her + eyes in her hand. The negro fingered his watch chain foolishly, and the + prettiest of the East Indian half-castes tried hard to disguise her + perception that an African in his best clothes under conviction of sin was + the funniest thing in the world. The silence seemed to focus itself upon + the cook, who fumbled at his coat collar and cleared his voice. It was a + shock to all concerned when Stephen Arnold, picking up his hat, got upon + his feet instead. + </p> + <p> + “I also,” he said, “would offer my humble testimony to the grace of God—with + all my heart.” + </p> + <p> + It was as if he had repeated part of the creed in the performance of his + office. Then he turned and bent gravely to Lindsay, “Shall we go now?” he + whispered, and the two made their way to the door, leaving a silence + behind them which Lindsay imagined, on the part of Ensign Sand at least, + to be somewhat resentful. As they passed out a voice recovered itself, and + cried, “Hallelujah!” It was Laura's; and all the way to the club—Arnold + was dining with him there—Lindsay listened to his friend's analysis + of religious appeal to the emotions, but chiefly heard that clear music + above a sordid din, “Hallelujah!” “Hallelujah!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV + </h2> + <p> + When Alicia Livingstone, almost believing she liked it, drove to Number + Three, Lal Behari's Lane, and left cards upon Miss Hilda Howe, she was + only partially rewarded. Through the plaster gate-posts, badly in want of + repair, and bearing, sunk in one of them, a marble slab announcing + “Residence with Board,” she perceived the squalid attempt the place made + at respectability, the servants in dirty livery salaaming curiously, the + over-fed squirrel in a cage in the door, the pair of damaged wicker chairs + in the porch, suggesting the easiest intercourse after dinner, the general + discoloration. She observed with irritation that it was a down-at-heels + shrine for such a divinity, in spite of its six dusty crotons in crumbling + plaster urns, but the irritation was rather at her own repulsion to the + place than at any inconsistency it presented. What she demanded and + expected of herself was that Number Three, Lal Behari's Lane should be + pleasing, interesting, acceptable on its merits as a cheap Calcutta + boarding-house. She found herself so unable to perceive its merits that it + was almost a relief to see nothing of Miss Howe either; Hilda had gone to + rehearsal, to the “dance-house” the servant said, eyeing the unusual + landau. Alicia rolled back into streets with Christian names, distressed + by an uncertainty as to whether her visit had been a disappointment or an + escape. By the next day, however, she was well pulled together in favour + of the former conclusion—she could nearly always persuade herself of + such things in time—and wrote a frank sweet little note in her + picturesque hand—she never joined more than two syllables—to + say how sorry she had been, and would Miss Howe come to lunch on Friday. + “I should love to make it dinner,” she, said to herself, as she sealed the + envelope, “but before one knows how she will behave in connection with the + men—I suppose one must think of the other people.” + </p> + <p> + It was Friday, and Hilda was lunching. The two had met among the + faint-tinted draperies of Alicia's drawing-room—there was something + auroral even about the mantelpiece—a little like diplomatists using + a common tongue native to neither of them. Perhaps Alicia drew the + conventions round her with the greater fluency; Hilda had more to cover, + but was less particular about it. The only thing she was bent upon making + imperceptible was her sense of the comedy of Miss Livingstone's effort to + receive her as if she had been anybody else. Alicia was hardly aware of + what she wanted to conceal, unless it was her impression that Miss Howe's + dress was cut a trifle too low in the neck, that she was almost too + effective in that cream and yellow to be quite right. Alicia remembered + afterwards to smile at it, that her first ten minutes of intercourse with + Hilda Howe were dominated by a lively desire to set Celine at her—with + such a foundation to work upon what could Celine not have done? She + remembered her surprise, too, at the ordinary things Hilda said in that + rich voice, even in the tempered drawing-room tones of which resided a + hint of the seats nearest the exit under the gallery, and her wonder at + the luxury of gesture that went with them, movements which seemed to imply + blank verse and to be thrown away upon two women and a little furniture. A + consciousness stood in the room between them, and their commonplaces about + the picturesqueness of the bazar rode on long absorbed regards, one + reading, the other anxious to read; yet the encounter was so + conventionally creditable to them both that they might have smiled past + each other under any circumstances next day and acknowledged no demand for + more than the smile. + </p> + <p> + The cutlets had come before Hilda's impression was at the back of her + head, her defences withdrawn, her eyes free and content, her elbow on the + table. They had found a portrait-painter. + </p> + <p> + “He has such an eye,” said Alicia, “for the possibilities of character.” + </p> + <p> + “Such an eye that he develops them. I know one man he painted. I suppose + when the man was born he had an embryo soul, but in the meantime he and + everybody else had forgotten about it. All but Salter. Salter re-created + it on the original lines, and brought it up, and gave it a lodging behind + the man's, wrinkles. I saw the picture. It was fantastic—psychologically.” + </p> + <p> + “Pysychology has a lot to say to portrait-painting, I know,” Alicia said. + “Do let him give you a little more. It's only Moselle.” She felt quite + direct and simple too in uttering her postulate. Her eyes had a friendly, + unembarrassed look, there was nothing behind them but the joy of talking + intelligently about Salter. + </p> + <p> + Hilda did not even glance away. She looked at her hostess instead, with an + expression of candour so admirable that one might easily have mistaken it + to be insincere. It was part of her that she could swim in any current, + and it was pleasant enough, for the moment, to swim in Alicia's. Both the + Moselle and the cutlets, moreover, were of excellent quality. + </p> + <p> + “It's everything to everything, don't you think? And especially, thank + Heaven, to my trade.” Her voice softened the brusqueness of this; the way + she said it gave it a right to be said in any terms. That was the case + with flagrancies of hers sometimes. + </p> + <p> + “To discover motives and morals and passions and ambitions and to make a + picture of them with your own body—your face and hands and voice—compare + our plastic opportunity with the handling of a brush to do it, or a pen or + a chisel!” + </p> + <p> + “I know what you mean,” said Alicia. She had a little flush, and an + excited hand among the wineglasses. “No, I don't want any; please don't + bother me!” to the man at her elbow with something in aspic. “It's much + more direct—your way.” + </p> + <p> + “And, I think, so much more primitive, so much earlier sanctioned, abiding + so originally among the instincts! Oh yes! if we are lightly esteemed it + is because we are bad exponents. The ideal has dignity enough. They charge + us, in their unimaginable stupidity, with failing to appreciate our lines, + especially when they are Shakespeare's—with being unliterary. You + might—good Heavens!—as well accuse a painter of not being a + musician! Our business lies behind the words—they are our mere + medium! Rosalind wasn't literary—why should I be? But don't indulge + me in my shop, if it bores you,” Hilda added lightly, aware as she was + that Miss Livingstone was never further from being bored. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, please go on! If you only knew,” her lifted eyebrows confessed the + tedium of Calcutta small talk. “But why do you say you are lightly + esteemed? Surely the public is a touchstone—and you hold the public + in the hollow of your hand!” + </p> + <p> + Hilda smiled. “Dear old public! It does its best for us, doesn't it? One + loves it, you know, as sailors love the sea, never believing in its + treachery in the end. But I don't know why I say we are lightly esteemed, + or why I dogmatise about it at all. I've done nothing—I've no right. + In ten years perhaps—no, five—I'll write signed articles for + the New Review about modern dramatic tendencies. Meanwhile you'll have to + consider that the value of my opinions is prospective.” + </p> + <p> + “But already you have succeeded—you have made a place.” + </p> + <p> + “In Coolgardie, in Johannesburg, I think they remember me in Trichinopoly + too, and—yes, it may be so—in Manila. But that wasn't + legitimate drama,” and Hilda smiled again in a way that coloured her + unspoken reminiscence, to Alicia's eyes, in rose and gold. She waited an + instant for these tints to materialise, but Miss Howe's smile slid + discreetly into her wineglass instead. + </p> + <p> + “There's immense picturesqueness in the Philippines,” she went on, her + look of thoughtful criticism contrasting in the queerest way with her hat. + “Real ecclesiastical tyranny with pure traditions. One wonders what + America will do with those friars, when she does go there.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you think she is going?” asked Alicia vaguely. It was the merest + politeness—she did not wait for a reply. With a courageous air which + became her charmingly, she went on, “Don't you long to submit yourself to + London? I should.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I must. I know I must. It's in the path of duty and conscience—it's + not to be put off for ever. But one dreads the chained slavery of London”—she + hesitated before the audacity of adding, “the sordid hundred nights,” but + Alicia divined it, and caught her breath as if she had watched the other + woman make a hazardous leap. + </p> + <p> + “You are magnificently sure,” she said. Alicia herself felt curiously + buoyed up and capable, conscious of vague intuitions of immediate + achievement. The lunch-table still lay between the two, but it had become + in a manner intangible; the selves of them had drawn together, and + regarded each other with absorbent eyes. In Hilda's there was an instant + of consideration before she said—“I might as well tell you—you + won't misunderstand—that I AM sure. I expect things of myself. I + hold a kind of mortgage on my success; when I foreclose it will come, + bringing the long, steady, grasping chase of money and fame, eyes fixed, + never a day to live in, only to accomplish, every moment straddled with + calculation, an end to all the byways where one finds the colour of the + sun. The successful London actress, my dear—what existence has she? + A straight flight across the Atlantic in a record-breaker, so many nights + in New York, so many in Chicago, so many in a Pullman car, and the net + result in every newspaper—an existence of pure artificiality + infested by reporters. It's like living in the shell of your personality. + It's the house for ever on your back; at the last you are buried in it, + smirking in your coffin with a half-open eye on the floral offerings. + There never was reward so qualified by its conditions.” + </p> + <p> + “Surely there would be some moments of splendid compensation?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh yes; and for those in the end we are all willing to perish! But then + you know all, you have done all; there is nothing afterwards but the + eternal strain to keep even with yourself. I don't suppose I could begin + to make you see the joys of a strolling player—they aren't much + understood even in the profession—but there are so many, honestly, + that London being at the top of the hill, I'm not panting up. My way of + going has twice wound round the world already. But I'm talking like an + illustrated interview. You will grant the impertinence of all I've been + saying when I tell you that I've never yet had an illustrated interview.” + </p> + <p> + “Aren't they almost always vulgar?” Alicia asked. “Don't they make you sit + the wrong way on a chair, in tights?” + </p> + <p> + Hilda threw her head back and laughed, almost, Alicia noted, like a man. + She certainly did not hide her mouth with her hands or her handkerchief, + as women often do in bursts of hilarity; she laughed freely, and as much + as she wanted to, and it was as clear as possible that tights presented + themselves quite preposterously to any discussion of her profession. They + were things to be taken for granted, like the curtain and the wings; they + had no relation to clothing in the world. + </p> + <p> + Alicia laughed too. After all, they were absurd—her outsider's + prejudices. She said something like that, and Hilda seemed to soar again + for her point of view about the illustrated interviews. “They ARE + atrocities,” she said. “On their merits they ought to be cast out of even + the suburbs of art and literature. But they help to make the atmosphere + that gives us power to work, and if they do that, of course—” and + the pursed seriousness of her lips gave Alicia the impression that, though + the whole world took offence, the expediency of the illustrated interview + was beyond discussion. + </p> + <p> + The servant brought them coffee. “Shall we smoke here,” said Miss + Livingstone, “or in the drawing-room?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, do you want to? Are you quite sure you like it? Please don't on my + account—you really mustn't. Suppose it should mike you ill?” If + Hilda felt any tinge of amusement she kept it out of her face. Nothing was + there but cheerful concern. + </p> + <p> + “It won't make me ill.” Alicia lifted her chin with delicate + assertiveness. “I suppose you do smoke, don't you?” + </p> + <p> + “Occasionally—with some people. Honestly, have you ever done it + before?” + </p> + <p> + “Four times,” said Alicia, and then turned rose-colour with the + apprehension that it sounded amateurish to have counted them. “I thought + it was one of your privileges to do it always, just as you—” + </p> + <p> + “Go to bed with our boots on and put ice down the back of some Serene + Highness's neck. I suppose it is, but now and then I prefer to dispense + with it. In my bath, for instance, and almost always in omnibuses.” + </p> + <p> + “How absurd you are! Then we'll stay here.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Howe softly manipulated her cigarette and watched Alicia sacrifice + two matches. + </p> + <p> + “There's Rosa Norton of our company,” she went on. “Poor, dear old Rosy! + She's fifty-three—grey hair smooth back, you know, and a kind of + look of anxious mamma. And it gets into her eyes and chokes her, poor + dear; but blow her, if she won't be as Bohemian as anybody. I've seen her + smoke in a bonnet with strings tied under her chin. I got up and went + away.” + </p> + <p> + “But I can't possibly affect you in that way,” said Alicia, putting her + cigarette down to finish, as an afterthought, a marron glace. “I'm not old + and I'm not grotesque.” + </p> + <p> + “No, but—oh, all right. After you with the matches, please.” + </p> + <p> + “I BEG your pardon. How thoughtless of me! Dear me, mine has gone out. Do + you suppose anything is wrong with them? Perhaps they're damp.” + </p> + <p> + “Trifle dry, if anything,” Hilda returned, with the cigarette between her + lips, “but in excellent order, really.” She took it between her first and + second finger for a glance at the gold letters at the end, leaned back and + sent slow, luxurious spirals through her nostrils. It was rather, Alicia + reflected, like a horse on a cold day—she hoped Miss Howe wouldn't + do it again. But she presently saw that it was Miss Howe's way of doing + it. + </p> + <p> + “No, you're not old and grotesque,” Hilda said contemplatively; “you're + young and beautiful.” The freedom seemed bred, imperceptibly and + enjoyably, from the delicate cloud in the air. Alicia flushed ever so + little under it, but took it without wincing. She had less than the common + palate for flattery of the obvious kind, but this was something different—a + mere casual and unprejudiced statement of fact. + </p> + <p> + “Fairly,” she said, not without surprise at her own calmness; and there + was an instant of silence, during which the commonplace seemed to be + dismissed between them. + </p> + <p> + “You made a vivid impression here last year,” said Alicia. She felt + delightfully terse and to the point. + </p> + <p> + “You mean Mr. Lindsay. Mr. Lindsay is very impressionable. Do you know him + well?” + </p> + <p> + Alicia closed her lips, and a faint line graved itself on each side of + them. Her whole face sounded a retreat, and her eyes were cold—it + would have annoyed her to know how cold—with distance. + </p> + <p> + “He is an old friend of my brother's,” she said. Hilda had the sensation + of coming unexpectedly, through the lightest loam, upon a hard surface. + She looked attentively at the red heart of her cigarette crisped over with + grey, in its blackened calyx. + </p> + <p> + “Most impressionable,” she went on, as if Alicia had not spoken. “As to + the rest of the people—bah! you can't rouse Calcutta. It is sunk in + its torpid liver, and imagines itself superior. It's really funny, you + know, the way hepatic influences can be idealised—made to serve + ennobling ends. But Mr. Lindsay is—different.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes?” Miss Livingstone's intention was neutral, but, in spite of her, the + asking note was in the word. + </p> + <p> + “We have done some interesting things together here. He has shown me the + queerest places. Yesterday he made me go with him to Wellesley Square, to + look at his latest enthusiasm standing in the middle of it.” + </p> + <p> + “A statue?” + </p> + <p> + “No, a woman, preaching and warbling to the people. She wasn't new to me—I + knew her before he did—but the picture was, and the performance. She + stood poised on a coolie's basket in the midst of a rabble of all colours, + like a fallen angel—I mean a dropped one. Light seemed to come from + her, from her hair or her eyes or something. I almost expected to see her + sail away over the palms into the sunset when it was ended.” + </p> + <p> + “It sounds most unusual,” Alicia said, with a light smile. Her interest + was rather obviously curbed. + </p> + <p> + “It happens every day, really, only one doesn't stop and look; one doesn't + go round the corner.” + </p> + <p> + There was another little silence, full of the unwillingness of Miss + Livingstone's desire to be informed. + </p> + <p> + Hilda knocked the ash of her cigarette into her finger-bowl, and waited. + The pause grew so stiff with embarrassment that she broke it herself. + </p> + <p> + “And I regret to say it was I who introduced them,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “Introduced whom?” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Lindsay and Miss Laura Filbert of the Salvation Army. They met at + Number Three; she had come after my soul. I think she was disappointed,” + Hilda went on tranquilly, “because I would only lend it to her while she + was there.” + </p> + <p> + “Of the Salvation Army! I can't imagine why you should regret it. He is + always grateful to be amused.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, there is no reason to doubt his gratitude. He is rather intense about + it. And—I don't know that my regret is precisely on Mr. Lindsay's + account. Did I say so?” They were simple, amiable words, and their + pertinence was very far from insistent; but Alicia's crude blush—everything + else about her was so perfectly worked out—cried aloud that it was + too sharp a pull up. “Perhaps though,” Hilda hurried on with a pang, “we + generalise too much about the men.” + </p> + <p> + What Miss Livingstone would have found to say—she had certainly no + generalisation to offer about Duff Lindsay—had not a servant brought + her a card at that moment, is embarrassing to consider. The card saved her + the necessity. She looked at it blankly for an instant, and then + exclaimed, “My cousin, Stephen Arnold! He's a reverend—a Clarke + Mission priest, and he will come straight in here. What shall we do with + our cigarettes?” + </p> + <p> + Miss Howe had a pleasurable sense that the situation was developing. + </p> + <p> + “Yours has gone out again, so it doesn't much matter, does it? Drown the + corpse in here, and I'll pretend it belongs to me.” She pushed the + finger-bowl across, and Alicia's discouraged remnant went into it. “Don't + ask me to sacrifice mine,” she added, and there was no time for + remonstrance; Arnold's voice was lifting itself at the door. + </p> + <p> + “Pray may I come in?” he called from behind the portiere. + </p> + <p> + Hilda, who sat with her back to it, smiled in enjoying recognition of the + thin, high academic note, the prim finish of the inflection. It reminded + her of a man she knew who “did” curates beautifully. + </p> + <p> + Arnold walked past her with his quick, humble, clerical gait, and it + amused her to think that he bent over Alicia's hand as if he would bless + it. + </p> + <p> + “You can't guess how badly I want a cup of coffee.” He flavoured what he + said, and made it pretty, like a woman. “Let me confess at once, that is + what brought me.” He stopped to laugh; there was a hint of formality and + self-sacrifice even in that. “It is coffee-time, isn't it?” Then he turned + and saw Hilda, and she was, at the moment, flushed with the luxury of her + sensations, a vision as splendid as she must have been to him unusual. But + he only closed his lips and thrust his chin out a little, with his left + hand behind him in one of his intensely clerical attitudes, and so stood + waiting. Hilda reflected afterwards that she could hardly have expected + him to exclaim, “Whom have we here?” with upraised hands, but she had to + acknowledge her flash of surprise at his self-possession. She noted, too, + his grave bow when Alicia mentioned them to each other, that there was the + habit of deference in it, yet that it waved her courteously, so to speak, + out of his life. It was all as interesting as the materialisation of a + quaint tradition, and she decided not, after all, to begin a trivial + comedy for herself and Alicia, by asking the Reverend Stephen Arnold + whether he objected to tobacco. She had an instant's circling choice of + the person she would represent to this priest in the little intermingling + half-hour of their lives that lay shaken out before them, and dropped + unerringly. It really hardly mattered, but she always had such instants. + She was aware of the shadow of a regret at the opulence of her personal + effect; her hand went to her throat and drew the laces closer together + there. An erectness stole into her body as she sat, and a look into her + eyes that divorced her at a stroke from anything that could have spoken to + him of too general an accessibility, too unthinking a largesse. She went + on smoking, but almost immediately her cigarette took its proper note of + insignificance. Alicia, speaking of it once afterwards to Arnold, found + that he had forgotten it. + </p> + <p> + “Even in College Street you have heard of Miss Howe,” Alicia said, and the + negative, very readable in Arnold's silent bow, brought Hilda a flicker of + happiness at her hostess's expense. + </p> + <p> + “I don't think the posters carry us as far as College Street,” she said, + “but I am not difficult to explain, Mr. Arnold. I act with Mr. Stanhope's + Company. If you lived in Chowringhee you couldn't help knowing all about + me, the letters are so large.” The bounty of her well-spring of kindness + was in it under the candour and the simplicity; it was one of those least + of little things which are enough. + </p> + <p> + Arnold smiled back at her, and she saw recognition leap through the + armour-plate of his ecclesiasticism. He glanced away again quickly, and + looked at the floor as he said he feared they were terribly out of it in + College Street, for which, however, he had evidently no apology to offer. + He continued to look at the floor with a careful air, as if it presented + points pertinent to the situation. Hilda felt herself—it was an odd + sensation—too sunny upon the nooked, retiring current that flowed in + him. He might have turned to the cool accustomed shadow that Alicia made, + but she was aware that he did not, that he was struggling through her + strangeness and his shyness for something to say to her. He stirred his + coffee, and once or twice his long upper lip trembled as if he thought he + had found it; but it was Alicia who talked, making light accusations + against the rigours of the Mission House, complaining of her cousin that + he was altogether given over to bonds and bands, that she personally would + soon cease to hold him in affection at all; she saw so little of him it + wasn't really worth while. + </p> + <p> + This was old fencing ground between them, and Stephen parried her + pleasantly enough, but his eyes strayed speculatively to the other end of + the table, where, however, they rose no higher than the firm, + lightly-moulded hand that held the cigarette. + </p> + <p> + “If I could found a monastic order,” Hilda said, “one of the rules should + be a week's compulsory retirement into the world four times a year.” She + spoke with a kind of grave brightness; it was difficult to know whether + she was altogether in jest. + </p> + <p> + “There would be secession all over the place,” Arnold responded, with his + repressed smile. “You would get any number of probationers; I wonder + whether you would keep them!” + </p> + <p> + “During that week,” Hilda went on, “they should be compelled to dine and + dance every night, to read a 'Problem' novel every morning before + luncheon, to marry and be given in marriage, and to go to all the variety + entertainments. Think of the austere bliss of the return to the cloisters! + All joy lies in a succession of sensations, they say. Do you remember how + Lord Ormont arranged his pleasures? Oh yes, my brotherhood would be + popular, as soon as it was understood.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia hurried in with something palliating—she could remember + flippancies of her own that had been rebuked—but there was no sign + or token of disapproval in Arnold's face. What she might have observed + there, if she had been keen enough in vision, was a slight disarrangement, + so to speak, of the placid priestly mask, and something like the original + undergraduate looking out from beneath. + </p> + <p> + Hilda began to put on her gloves. The left one gaped at two finger-ends; + she buttoned it with the palm thrown up and outward, as if it were the + daintiest spoil of the Avenue de l'Opera. + </p> + <p> + “Not yet!” Alicia cried. + </p> + <p> + “Thanks, I must. To-night is our last full rehearsal, and I have to dress + the stage for the first act before six o'clock. And, after pulling all + that furniture about, I shall want an hour or two in bed.” + </p> + <p> + “You! But it's monstrous. Is there nobody else?” + </p> + <p> + “I wouldn't let anybody else,” Hilda laughed. “Don't forget, please, that + we are only strolling players, odds and ends of people, mostly from the + Antipodes. Don't confound our manners and customs with anything you've + heard about the Lyceum. Good-bye. It has been charming. Goodbye, Mr. + Arnold.” + </p> + <p> + But Alicia held her hand. “The papers say it is to be The Offence of + Galilee, after all,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “Yes. Hamilton Bradley is all right again, and we've found a pretty fair + local Judas—amateur. We couldn't possibly put it on without Mr. + Bradley. He takes the part of”—Hilda glanced at the hem of the + listening priestly robe—“of the chief character, you know.” + </p> + <p> + “That was the great Nonconformist success at home last year, wasn't it?” + Arnold asked; “Leslie Patullo's play? I knew him at Oxford. I can't + imagine—he's a queer chap to be writing things like that.” + </p> + <p> + “It works out better than you—than one might suppose,” Hilda + returned, moving toward the door. “Some of the situations are really + almost novel, in spite of all your centuries of preaching.” She sent a + disarming smile with that, looking over her shoulder in one of her most + effective hesitations, one hand holding back the portiere. + </p> + <p> + “And next week?” cried Alicia. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, next week we do L'Amourette de Giselle—Frank Golding's re-vamp. + Good-bye! Good-bye!” + </p> + <p> + “I wonder very much what Patullo has done with The Offence of Galilee,” + Arnold said, after she had gone. + </p> + <p> + “Come and see, Stephen. We have a box, and there will be heaps of room. + It's—suitable, isn't it?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, quite.” + </p> + <p> + “Then dine with us—the Yardleys are coming—and go on. Why + not?” + </p> + <p> + “Thanks very much indeed. It is sure to reward one. I think I shall be + able to give myself that pleasure.” + </p> + <p> + Arnold made a longer visit than usual; his cup of coffee, indeed, became a + cup of tea; and his talk, while he stayed, seemed to suffer less from the + limitations of his Order than it usually did. He was fluent and direct; he + allowed it to appear that he read more than his prayers; that his glance + at the world had still a speculation in it; and when he went away, he left + Alicia with flushed cheeks and brightened eyes, murmuring a vague inward + corollary upon her day— + </p> + <p> + “It pays! It pays!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V + </h2> + <p> + Mr. Llewellyn Stanhope's Company was not the only combination that offered + itself to the entertainment of Calcutta that December Saturday night. The + ever-popular Jimmy Finnigan and his “Surprise Party”—he sailed up + the Bay as regularly as the Viceroy descended from the hills—had + been advertising “Side-splitting begins at 9.30. Prices as usual” with + reference to this particular evening for a fortnight. In the Athenian + Theatre—it had a tin roof and nobody could hear the orchestra when + it rained—the Midgets were presenting the earlier collaborations of + Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan, every Midget guaranteed under nine years of + age. Colonel Pike's Great Occidental Circus had been in full blast on the + Maidan for a week. It became a great Occidental circus when Colonel Pike + married the proprietress. They were both staying at the Grand Oriental + Hotel at Singapore when she was made a relict through cholera, and he had + more time than he knew what to do with, to say nothing of moustaches that + predestined him to a box-office. And certainly circumstances justified the + lady's complaisance, for while hitherto hers had been but a fleeting show, + it was now, in the excusably imaginative terms of Colonel Pike, an + architectural feature of the cold weather. There was the Mystic Bower, + too, in an octagonal tent under a pipal tree, which gave you by an + arrangement of looking-glasses the most unaccountable sensations for one + rupee; and a signboard cried “Know Thyself!” where a physiological display + lurked from the eyes of the police behind a perfectly respectable skeleton + at one end of Peri Chandra's Gully. Llewellyn Stanhope saw that there was + competition, sighed to think how much, as he stood in the foggy vestibule + of the Imperial Theatre wrapped in the impressive folds of his managerial + cape, and pulled his moustache and watched the occasional carriage that + rolled his way up the narrow lane from Chowringhee. He thought bitterly, + standing there, of Calcutta's recognition of the claims of legitimate + drama, for the dank darkness was full of the noise of wheels and the + flashing of lamps on the way to accord another season's welcome to Jimmy + Finnigan. “I might've learned this town well enough by now,” he reflected, + “to know that a bally minstrel show's about the size of it.” Mr. Stanhope + had not Mr. Finnigan's art of the large red lips and the twanging banjo; + his thought was scornful rather than envious. He aspired, moreover, to be + known as the pilot of stars, at least in the incipience of their courses, + to be taken seriously by association, since nature had arranged that he + never could be on his intrinsic merits. His upper lip was too short for + that, his yellow moustache too curly, while the perpetual bullying he + underwent at the hands of leading ladies gave him an air of deference to + everybody else which was sometimes painfully misunderstood. The stars, it + must be said regretfully, in connection with so laudable an ambition, + nearly always betrayed him, coming down with an unmistakably meteoric + descent, stony-broke in the uttermost ends of the earth, with a strong + inclination to bring the cause of that misfortune before the Consular + Courts. They seldom succeeded in this design, since Llewellyn was usually + able to prove to them in advance that it would be fruitless and expensive, + but the paths of Eastern capitals were strewn with his compromises, in + Japanese yen, Chinese dollars, Indian rupees, for salaries which no amount + of advertising could wheedle into the box-office. When the climax came, + Llewellyn usually went to hospital and received the reporters of local + papers in pathetic audience there, which counteracted the effect of the + astounding statements the stars made in letters to the editor, and yet + gave the public clearly to understand that owing to its coldness and + neglect a number of ladies and gentlemen of very superior talents were + subsisting in their midst mainly upon brinjals and soda-water. “I'm in + hospital,” Mr. Stanhope would say to the reporters, “and I'm d—— + glad of it,”—he always insisted on the oath going in, it appealed so + sympathetically to the domiciled Englishman grown cold to superiority,—“for, + upon my soul, I don't know where I'd turn for a crust if I weren't.” In + the end the talented ladies and gentlemen usually went home by an + inexpensive line as the voluntary arrangement of a public to whom plain + soda was a ludicrous hardship, and native vegetables an abomination at any + price. Then Llewellyn and Rosa Norton—she had a small inalienable + income, and they were really married though they preferred for some + inexplicable reason to be thought guilty of less conventional behaviour—would + depart in another direction, full of gratification for the present and of + confidence for the future. Llewellyn usually made a parting statement to + the newspapers that although his aims were unalterably high he was not + above profiting by experience, and that next season he could be relied + upon to hit the taste of the community with precision. This year, as we + know, he had made a serious effort by insisting that at least a proportion + of his ladies and gentlemen should be high-kickers and equal to an + imitation, good enough for the Orient, of most things done by the + illustrious Mr. Chevalier. But the fact that Mr. Stanhope had selected The + Offence of Galilee to open with tells its own tale. He was convinced, but + not converted, and he stood there with his little legs apart, chewing a + straw above the three uncut emeralds that formed the chaste decoration of + his shirt-front, giving the public of Calcutta one more chance to redeem + itself. + </p> + <p> + It began to look as if Calcutta were not wholly irredeemable. A + ticca-gharry deposited a sea-captain; three carriages arrived in + succession; an indefinite number of the Duke's Own, hardly any of them + drunk, filed in to the rupee seats under the gallery: an overflow from + Jimmy Finnigan, who could no longer give his patrons even standing room. + When this occurred Llewellyn turned and swung indifferently away in the + direction of the dressing-rooms. When Jimmy Finnigan closed his doors so + early there was no further cause for anxiety. Calcutta was abroad and + stirring, and would turn for amusement even to The Offence of Galilee. + </p> + <p> + Eventually—that is, five minutes before the curtain rose—the + representatives of the leading Calcutta journals decided that they were + justified in describing the house as a large and fashionable audience. The + Viceroy had taken a box, and sent an Aide-de-Camp to sit in it, also a + pair of M.P.'s from the North of England, whom he was expected to attend + to in Calcutta, and the governess. The Commander-in-Chief had not been + solicited to be present, the theatrical season demanding an economy in + such personalities if they were to go round; but a Judge of the High Court + had a party in the front row, and a Secretary to the Bengal Government sat + behind him. To speak of unofficials, there must have been quite forty + lakhs of tea and jute and indigo in the house, very genial and prosperous, + to say nothing of hides and seeds, and the men who sold money and bought + diamonds with the profits, which shone in their wives' hair. A duskiness + prevailed in the bare arms and shoulders; much of the hair was shining and + abundant, and very black. A turn of the head showed a lean Greek profile, + an outline bulbous and Armenian, the smooth creamy mask of a Jewess, while + here and there glimmered something more opulent and inviting still, which + proclaimed, if it did not confess, the remote motherhood of the zenana and + the origin of the sun. An audience of fluttering fans and wrinkled shirt + collars—the evening was warm under the gas-lights—sensuous, + indolent, already amused with itself. Not an old woman in it from end to + end, hardly a man turned fifty, and those who were had the air and looked + to have the habits of twenty-five—an audience that might have got up + and stretched itself but for good manners, and walked out in childish + boredom at having to wait for the rise of the curtain, but sat on instead, + diffusing an atmosphere of affluence and delicate scents, and suggesting, + with imperious chins, the use of quick orders in a world of personal + superiority. + </p> + <p> + Thus the stalls—they were spindling cane-bottomed chairs—and + the boxes, in one of which the same spindling cane-bottomed chairs + supported, in more expensive seclusion, Surgeon-Major and Miss + Livingstone, the Reverend Stephen Arnold, and two or three other people. + The Duke's Own sat under the gallery, cheek by jowl with all the flotsam + and jetsam of an Eastern port, well on the look-out for offensive + personalities from the men of the ships, and spitting freely. Here, too, + was an ease of shoulder and a freedom from the cares of life—at a + venture the wives were taking in washing in Brixton, and the children sent + to Board School at the expense of the nation. And in a climate like this + it was a popular opinion that a man must either enjoy himself or commit + suicide. + </p> + <p> + The Sphinx on the crooked curtain looked above and beyond them all. It was + a caricature of the Sphinx, but could not confine her gaze. + </p> + <p> + Hilda's audience that night knew all about The Offence of Galilee from the + English illustrated papers. The illustrated papers had a great way of + ministering to the complacency of Calcutta audiences; they contained + photographs of almost every striking scene, composed at the leisure of the + cast, but so vividly supplemented with descriptions of the leading lady's + clothes that it hardly required any effort of the imagination to conjure + up the rest. The postures and the chief garments of Pilate—he was + eating pomegranates when the curtain rose, and listening to scandal from + his slave-maidens about Mary Magdalene—were at once recognised in + their resemblance to those of the photographs, and in the thrill of this + satisfaction any discrepancies in cut and texture passed generally + unobserved. A silent curiosity settled upon the house, half reverent, as + if with the Bible names came thronging a troop of sacred associations to + cluster about personalities brusquely torn out of church, and people + listened for familiar sentences with something like the composed gravity + with which they heard on Sundays the reading of the second lesson. But as + the stage-talk went on, the slave-maidens announcing themselves without + delay comfortably modern and commonplace, and Pilate a cynic and a + decadent, though as distinctively from Melbourne, it was possible to note + the breaking up of this sentiment. It was plain after all that no standard + of ideality was to be maintained or struggled after. The relief was + palpable; nevertheless, when Pilate's wife cast a shrewish gibe at him + over the shoulder of her exit, the audience showed but a faint inclination + to be amused. It was to be a play evidently like any other play, the same + coarse fibre, the same vivid and vulgar appeals. It is doubtful whether + this idea was critically present to anyone but Stephen Arnold, but people + unconsciously tasted the dramatic substance offered them, and leaned back + in their chairs with the usual patient acknowledgment that one mustn't + expect too much of a company that found it worth while to come to + Calcutta. The house grew submissive and stolid, but one could see + half-awakened prejudices sitting in the dress-circle. The paper-chasing + Secretary said to the most intelligent of his party that on the whole he + liked his theology neat, forgetting that the preference belonged to Mr. + Andrew Lang in connection with a notable lady novelist; and the most + intelligent—it was Mrs. Barberry—replied that it did seem + strange. The depths under the gallery were critically attentive, though + Llewellyn Stanhope felt them hostile and longing for verbal brick-bats; + and the Reverend Mr. Arnold shrank into the farthest corner of + Surgeon-Major Livingstone's box, and knew all the misery of outrage. + Pilate and the slave-maidens, Pilate's fat wife, and an unspeakable comic + centurion, offered as yet hardly more than a prelude, but the monstrosity + of the whole performance was already projected upon Arnold's suffering + imagination. This, then, was what Patullo had done with it. But what + other, he asked himself in quiet anger, could Patullo have been expected + to do? the fellow he remembered. Arnold tilted his chair back and stared, + with arms folded and sombre brows, at the opposite wall. He looked once at + the door, but some spirit of self-torture kept him in his seat. If so much + offence could be made with the mere crust and envelope, so to speak, of + the sacred story, what sacrilege might not be committed with the divine + personalities concerned? He remembered, with the touch of almost physical + nausea that assailed him when he saw them, one or two pictures in recent + Paris exhibitions where the coveted accent of surprise had been produced + by representing the sacred figure in the trivial monde of the boulevards, + and fixed upon them as the source of Patullo's intolerable inspiration. + Certain muscles felt responsive at the thought of Patullo which Arnold had + forgotten he possessed; it was so seldom that a missionary priest, even of + athletic traditions, came in contact with anybody who required to be + kicked. + </p> + <p> + Alicia was in front with the Yardleys, dropping her unfailing plummet into + the evening's experience. Arnold, hesitating over the rudeness of + departure, thought she was sufficiently absorbed; she would hardly mind. + The centurion slapped his tin armour, and made a jest, which reached + Stephen over his hostess's shoulder, and seemed to brand him where he sat. + He looked about for his hat and some excuse that would serve, and while he + looked the sound of applause rose from the house. It was a demonstration + without great energy, hardly more than a flutter from stall to stall, with + a vague, fundamental noise from the gallery; but it had the quality which + acclaimed something new. Arnold glanced at the stage, and saw that while + Pilate and the hollow-chested slaves and the tin centurion were still on, + they had somehow lost significance and colour, and that all the meaning + and the dominance of the situation had gathered into the person of a woman + of the East who danced. She was almost discordant in her literalness, in + her clear olive tints and the kol smudges under her eyes, the string of + coins in the mass of her fallen hair, and her unfettered body. Beside her + the slave-girls, crouching, looked like painted shells. She danced before + Pilate in strange Eastern ways, in plastic weavings and gesturings that + seemed to be the telling of a tale; and from the orchestra only one + unknown instrument sobbed out to help her. The women of the people have + ever bought in Palestine, buy to-day in the Mousky, the coarse, thick + grey-blue cotton that fell about her limbs, and there was audacity in the + poverty of her beaten silver anklets and armlets. These shone and twinkled + with her movements; but her softly splendid eyes and reddened lips had the + immobility of the bazar. People looked at their playbills to see whether + it was really Hilda Howe or some nautch-queen borrowed from a native + theatre. By the time she sank before Pilate and placed his foot upon her + head a new spirit had breathed upon the house. Under the unexpectedness of + the representation it sat up straight, and there was a keenness of desire + to see what would happen next which plainly curtailed the applause, as it + does with children at a pantomime. + </p> + <p> + “Have you ever seen anything like it before?” Alicia asked Captain + Yardley; and he said he thought he had once, in Algiers, but not nearly so + well done. Arnold rose again to go, but the Magdalene had begun the + well-known passage with Pilate, about which the newspapers absurdly + reported later that if Miss Howe had not been a Protestant, and so + impervious the Pope would have excommunicated her, and as he looked his + movement imperceptibly changed to afford him a better place. He put an + undecided hand upon a prop of the box that rose behind Alicia's shoulder, + and so stood leaning and looking, more conspicuous in the straight lines + and short shoulder cape of the frock of his Order than he knew. Hilda, in + one of those impenetrable regards which she threw straight in front of + her, while Pilate yawped and posed nearer and nearer the desire of the + Magdalene to be admitted to his household, was at once aware of him. + Presently he sat down again—it was still the profane, the fabulous, + the horrible Patullo, but a strain of pure gold had come into the fabric + worth holding in view, impossible, indeed, to close the eyes upon. Far + enough it was from any semblance to historical fact, but almost possible, + almost admissible, in the form of the woman, as historical fiction. She + dared to sit upon the floor now, in the ungraceful huddled Eastern + fashion, clasping her knees to her breast, with her back half turned to + her lord, the friend of Caesar, so that he could not see the design that + sat behind the mask of her sharp indifference. She rested her chin upon + her knees, and let the blankness of her beauty exclaim upon the subtlety + of her replies, plainly measuring the power of her provocation against the + impoverished quality that camp and grove, court and schools, might leave + upon august Roman sensibilities. It was the old, old sophistication, so + perfect in its concentration behind the kol-brushed eyes and the brown + breasts, the igniting, flickering, raging of an instinct upon the stage. + Alicia, when it was over, said to Mrs. Yardley, “How the modern woman goes + off upon side issues!” to which that lady nodded a rather suspicious + assent. + </p> + <p> + Long before Hilda had begun to act for Arnold, to play to his special + consciousness, he was fastened to his chair, held down, so to speak, by a + whirlpool of conflicting impulses. She did so much more than “lift” the + inventive vulgarisation of the Bible story in the common sense; she + inspired and transfused it so that whenever she appeared people + irresistibly forgot the matter for her, or made private acknowledgments to + the effect that something was to be said even for an impious fantasy which + gave her so unique an opportunity. To Arnold her vivid embodiment of an + incident in that which was his morning and evening meditation made special + appeal, and though it was in a way as if she had thrust her heathen torch + into his Holy of Holies, he saw it lighted with fascination, and could not + close the door upon her. The moment of her discovery of this came early, + and it is only she, perhaps, who could tell how the strange bond wove + itself that drew her being—the Magdalene's—to the priest who + sat behind a lady in swansdown and chiffon in the upper box nearest to the + stage on the right. The beginnings of such things are untraceable, but the + fact may be considered in connection with this one that Hamilton Bradley, + who represented, as we have been told he would, the Chief Character, did + it upon lines very recognisably those of the illustrations of sacred + books, very correct as to the hair and beard and pictured garment of the + Galilean; with every accent of hollow-eyed pallor and inscrutable + remoteness, with all the thin vagueness, too, of a popular engraving, the + limitations and the depression. Under it one saw the painful inconsistency + of the familiar Hamilton Bradley of other presentations, and realised with + irritation, which must have been tenfold in Hilda, how he rebelled against + the part. Perhaps this was enough in itself to send her dramatic impulse + to another focus, and the strangeness of the adventure was a very thing + she would delight in. Whatever may be said about it, while yet the shock + of the woman's earthly passion with its divine object was receding from + Arnold's mind before the exquisite charm and faithfulness of the + worshipping Magdalene, he became aware that in some special way he sat + judging and pitying her. She had hardly lifted her eyes to him twice, yet + it was he, intimately he, who responded as if from afar off, to the touch + of her infinite solicitude and abasement, the joy and the shame of her + love. As he watched and knew, his lips tightened and his face paled with + the throb of his own renunciation, he folded his celibate arms in the + habit of his brotherhood, and was caught up into a knowledge and an + imitation of how the spotless Original would have looked upon a woman + suffering and transported thus. The poverty of the play faded out; he + became almost unaware of the pinchbeck and the fustian of Patullo's + invention, and its insufferable mixture with the fabric of which every + thread was precious beyond imagination. He looked down with tender + patience and compassion upon the development of the woman's intrigue in + the palace, through the very flower of her crafts and guiles, to save Him + who had transfigured her from the hands of the rabble and the high + priests; he did not even shrink from the inexpressibly grating note of the + purified Magdalene's final passionate tendering of her personal sacrifice + to the enamoured Pilate as the price of His freedom, and when at the last + she wept at His feet where He lay bound and delivered, and wrapped them, + in the agony of her abandonment, in the hair of her head, the priest's + lips almost moved in words other than those of the playwright—words + that told her he knew the height and the depth of her sacrifice and + forgave it, “Neither do I condemn thee....” In his exultation he saw what + it was to perform miracles, to remit sins. The spark of divinity that was + in him glowed to a white heat; the woman on the stage warmed her hands at + it in two consciousnesses. She was stirred through all her artistic sense + in a new and delicious way, and wakened in some dormant part of her to a + knowledge beautiful and surprising. She felt in every nerve the exquisite + quality of that which lay between them, and it thrilled her through all + her own perception of what she did, and all the applause at how she did + it. It was as if he, the priest, was borne out upon a deep broad current + that made toward solar spaces, toward infinite bounds, and as if she, the + actress, piloted him.... + </p> + <p> + The Sphinx on the curtain—it had gone down in the old crooked lines—again + looked above and beyond them all. I have sometimes fancied a trace of + malignancy about her steady eyeballs, but perhaps that is the accident or + the design of the scene-painter; it does not show in photographs. The + audience was dispersing a trifle sedately; the performance had been, as + Mrs. Barberry told Mr. Justice Horne, interesting but, depressing. “I + hope,” said Alicia to Stephen, fastening the fluffy-white collar of the + wrap he put round her, “that I needn't be sorry I asked you to come. I + don't quite know. But she did redeem it, didn't she? That last scene—” + </p> + <p> + “Can you not be silent?” Arnold said, almost in a whisper; and her look of + astonishment showed her that there were tears in his eyes. He left the + theatre and walked light-headedly across Chowringhee and out into the + starlit empty darkness of the Maidan, where presently he stumbled upon a + wooden bench under a tree. There, after a little, sleep fell upon his + amazement, and he lay unconscious for an hour or two, while the breeze + stole across the grass from the river and the mast-head lights watched + beside the city. He woke chilled and normal, and when he reached the + Mission House in College Street his servant was surprised at the unusual + irritation of a necessary rebuke. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI + </h2> + <p> + While Alicia Livingstone fought with her imagination in accounting for + Lindsay's absence from the theatre on the first night of a notable + presentation by Miss Hilda Howe, he sat with his knees crossed on the + bench farthest back and the corner obscurest of the Salvation Army + Headquarters in Bentinck Street. It had become his accustomed place; + sitting there he had begun to feel like the adventurer under Niagara, it + was the only spot from which he could observe, try to understand and cope + with the torrential nature of his passion. Nearer to the fair charm of his + kneeling Laura, in the uncertain flare of the kerosene lamp and the sound + of the big drum, he grew blind, lost count, was carried away. His + persistent refusal of a better place also profited him in that it brought + to Ensign Sand and the other “officers” the divination that he was one of + those shyly anxious souls who have to be enticed into the Kingdom of + Heaven with wariness, and they made a great pretence of not noticing him, + going on with the exercises just as if he were not there, a consideration + which he was able richly to enhance when the plate came round. After his + first contribution, Mrs. Sand regarded his spiritual interests with almost + superstitious reverence, according them the fullest privacy of which she + was capable. The gravity which the gentleman attached to his situation was + sufficiently testified by the “amount”; Mrs. Sand never wanted better + evidence than the amount. Even Laura, acting doubtless under instructions, + seemed disposed to hold away from him in her prayers and exhortations; + only a very occasional allusion passed her lips which Duff could + appropriate. These, when they fell, he gathered and set like flowers in + his tenderest consciousness, to visit and water them after the sun went + down and for twenty-four hours he would not see her again. Her intonation + went with them and her face; they lived on that. They stirred him, I mean, + least of all in the manner of their intention. After the first quarter of + an hour, it is to be feared, Lindsay suffered no more apprehensions on the + score of emotional hypnotism. He recognised his situation plainly enough, + and there was no appeal in it of which the Reverend Stephen Arnold, for + example, could properly suspect the genuineness or the permanence. + </p> + <p> + On this Saturday night he sat through the meeting as he had sat through + other meetings, absorbed in his exquisite experience which he meditated + mostly with his eyes on the floor. His attitude was one quite adapted to + deceive Ensign Sand; if he had been occupied with the burden of his + transgressions it was one he might very well have fallen into. When Laura + knelt or sang he sometimes looked at her, at other times he looked at the + situation in the brightness of her presence at the other end of the room. + She gave forth there, for Lindsay, an illumination by which he almost + immediately began to read his life; and it was because he thought he had + done this with accuracy and intelligence that he came up behind her that + evening when the meeting was over as she followed the rest, with her sari + drawn over her head, out into the darkness of Bentinck Street, and said + with directness, “I should like to come and see you. When may I? Any time + that suits you. Have you half an hour to spare to-morrow?” + </p> + <p> + It was plain that she was tired, and that the brightness with which she + welcomed his advance was a trifle taught and perfunctory. Not the + frankness though, or the touch of “Now we are getting to business,” that + stood in her expression. She looked alert and pleased. + </p> + <p> + “You would like to have a little talk, wouldn't you?” she said. Her manner + took Lindsay a trifle aback; it suggested that she conferred this + privilege so freely. “To-morrow—let me see, we march in the morning, + and I have an open-air at four in the afternoon—the Ensign takes the + evening meeting. Yes, I could see you to-morrow about two or about seven, + after I get back from the Square.” It was not unlike a professional + appointment. + </p> + <p> + Lindsay considered. “Thanks,” he said, “I'll come at about seven—if + you are sure you won't be too exhausted to have me after such a day.” + </p> + <p> + He saw that her lids as she raised them to answer were slightly reddened + at the edges, testifying to the acridity of Calcutta's road dust, and a + dry crack crept into the silver voice with which she said + matter-of-factly, “We are never too exhausted to attend to our Master's + business.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay's face expressed an instant's hesitation; he looked gravely the + other way. “And the address?” he said. + </p> + <p> + “Almost next door—we all live within bugle-call. The entrance is in + Crooked Lane. Anybody will tell you.” + </p> + <p> + At the door Ensign Sand was conspicuously waiting. Lindsay said “Thanks” + again, and passed out—she seemed to be holding it for him—and + picked his way over the gutters to the shop of his Chinaman opposite. From + there he watched the little company issue forth and turn into Crooked + Lane, where the entrance was. It gave him a sense that she had her part in + this squalor, which was not altogether distressful in that it also + localised her in the warm, living, habitable world, and helped to make her + thinkable and attainable. Then he went to his room at the club and found + there a note from Miss Howe, written apparently to forgive him in advance, + to say that she had not expected him. “Friendly creature!” he said as he + turned out the lamp, and smiled in the dark to think that already there + was one who guessed, who knew. + </p> + <p> + One gropes in Crooked Lane after the lights of Bentinck Street have done + all that can be expected of them. There are various things to avoid, + washer-men's donkeys and pariah dogs, unyoked ticca-gharries, heaps of + rubbish, perhaps a leprous beggar. Lindsay, when he had surmounted these, + found himself at the entrance to a quadrangle which was positively dark. + He waylaid a sweeper slinking out, and the man showed him where an open + staircase ran down against the wall in one corner. It was up there, he + said, that the “tamasho-mems” * lived. There were three tamasho-mems, he + continued, responding to Lindsay's trivial coin, and one sahib, but this + was not the time for the tamasho—it was finished. Lindsay mounted + the first flight by faith, and paused at the landing to avoid collision + with a heavy body descending. He inquired Miss Filbert's whereabouts from + this person, who providentially lighted a cigar, disclosing himself a bald + Armenian in tusser silk trousers and a dirty shirt, presumably, Lindsay + thought, the landlord. At all events he had the information, Lindsay was + to keep straight on, it was the third storey. Duff kept straight on in a + spirit of caution, and just missed treading upon the fattest rat in the + heathen parish of St. John's. At the top he saw a light and hastened; it + shone from an open door at the side of a passage. The partition in which + the door was came considerably short of the ceiling, and from the top of + it to the window opposite stretched a line of garments to dry, of pungent + odour and infantile pattern. Lindsay dared no farther, but lifted up his + voice in the Indian way to summon a servant, “Qui hai?"# he called, “Qui + hai?” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Festival-making women. + + # “Whoever is there?” + </pre> + <p> + He heard somewhere within the noise of a chair pushed back, and a door + farther down the passage opened outwards, disclosing Laura Filbert with + her hand upon the handle. She made a supple, graceful picture. + “Good-evening, Mr. Lindsay,” she said as he advanced. “Won't you come in?” + She clung to the handle until he had passed into the room, then she closed + the door after him. “I was expecting you,” she said. “Mr. Harris, let me + make you acquainted with Mr. Lindsay. Mr. Lindsay, Mr. Harris.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Harris was sitting sideways on one of the three cheap little chairs. + He was a clumsily built youth, and he wore the private's garb of the + Salvation Army. It was apparent that he had been reading a newspaper; he + had a displeasing air of possession. At Laura's formula he looked up and + nodded without amiability, folded his journal the other side out and + returned to it. + </p> + <p> + “Please take a seat,” Laura said, and Lindsay took one. He had a demon of + self-consciousness that possessed him often, here he felt dumb. Nor did he + in the very least expect Mr. Harris. He crossed his legs in greater + discomfort than he had dreamed possible, looking at Laura, who sat down + like a third stranger, curiously detached from any sense of hospitality. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Lindsay is anxious about his soul, Mr. Harris,” she said pleasantly. + “I guess you can tell him what to do as well as I can.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh!” Lindsay began, but Mr. Harris had the word. “Is he?” said Mr. + Harris, without looking up from his paper. “Well, what I've got to say on + that subject I say at the evenin' meetin', which is a proper an' a public + place. He can hear it there any day of the week.” + </p> + <p> + “I think I have already heard,” remarked Lindsay, “what you have to say.” + </p> + <p> + “Then that's all right,” said Mr. Harris, with his eyes still upon his + newspaper. He appeared to devour it. Laura looked from one to the other of + them and fell upon an expedient. + </p> + <p> + “If you'll excuse me,” she said, “I'll just get you that bicycle story you + were kind enough to lend me, Mr. Harris, and you can take it with you. The + Ensign's got it,” and she left the room. Lindsay glanced round, and + promptly announced to himself that he could not come there again. It was + taking too violent an advantage. The pursuit of an angel does not imply + that you may trap her in her corner under the Throne. The place was + divided by a calico curtain, over which plainly showed the top of a + mosquito curtain—she slept in there. On the walls were all tender + texts about loving and believing and bearing others' burdens, interspersed + with photographs, mostly of women with plain features and enthusiastic + eyes, dressed in some strange costume of the Army in Madras, Ceylon, + China. A little wooden table stood against the wall holding an album, a + Bible and hymn-books, a work-basket and an irrelevant Japanese doll which + seemed to stretch its absurd arms straight out in a gay little ineffectual + heathen protest. There was another more embarrassing table: it had a + coarse cloth; and was garnished with a loaf and butter-dish, a plate of + plantains and a tin of marmalade, knives and teacups for a meal evidently + impending. It was atrociously, sordidly intimate, with its core in Harris, + who when Miss Filbert had well gone from the room looked up. “If you're + here on private business,” he said to Lindsay, fixing his eyes, however, + on a point awkwardly to the left of him, “maybe you ain't aware that the + Ensign”—he threw his head back in the direction of the next room—“is + the person to apply to. She's in command here. Captain Filbert's only + under her.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed?” said Lindsay. “Thanks.” + </p> + <p> + “It ain't like it is in the Queen's army,” Harris volunteered, still + searching Lindsay's vicinity for a point upon which his eyes could + permanently rest, “where, if you remember, Ensigns are the smallest + officer we have.” + </p> + <p> + “The commission is, I think, abolished,” replied Lindsay, governing a deep + and irritated frown. + </p> + <p> + “Maybe so. This Army don't pretend to pattern very close on the other—not + in discipline anyhow,” said Mr. Harris with ambiguity. “But you'll find + Ensign Sand very willing to do anything she can for you. She's a + hard-working officer.” + </p> + <p> + A sharp wail smote the air from a point close to the lath and canvas + partition, on the other side, followed by hasty hushings and steps in the + opposite direction. It enabled Lindsay to observe that Mrs. Sand seemed at + present to be sufficiently engaged, at which Mr. Harris shifted one heavy + limb over the other, and lapsed into silence, looking sternly at an + advertisement. The air was full of their mutual annoyance, although Duff + tried to feel amused. They were raging as primitively, under the red + flannel shirt and the tan-coloured waistcoat with white silk spots, as two + cave-men on an Early British coast; their only sophistication lay in + Harris's newspaper and Lindsay's idea that he ought to find this person + humorous. Then Laura came back and resolved the situation. + </p> + <p> + “Here it is,” she said, handing the volume to Mr. Harris; “we have all + enjoyed it. Thank you very much.” There was in it the oddest mixture of + the supreme feminine and the superior officer. Harris, as he took the + book, had no alternative. + </p> + <p> + “Good-evening, then, Captain,” said he, and went, stumbling at the door. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Harris,” said Laura equably, “found salvation about a month ago. He + is a very steady young man—foreman in one of the carriage works + here. He is now struggling with the tobacco habit, and he often drops in + in the evening.” + </p> + <p> + “He seems to be a—a member of the corps,” said Lindsay. + </p> + <p> + “He would be, only for the carriage works. He says he doesn't find himself + strong enough in grace to give up his situation yet. But he wears the + uniform at the meetings to show his sympathy, and the Ensign doesn't think + there's any objection.” + </p> + <p> + Laura was sitting straight up in one of the cheap little chairs, her sari + drawn over her head, her hands folded in her lap. The native dress clung + to her limbs in sculpturable lines, and her consecrated ambitions seemed + more insistent than ever. She had nothing to do with anything else, + nothing to do with her room or its arrangements, nothing, Lindsay felt + profoundly, to do with him. Her personal zeal for him seemed to resolve + itself, at the point of contact, into something disappointingly thin; he + saw that she counted with him altogether as a unit in a glorious total, + and that he himself had no place in her knowledge or her desire. This + brought him, with something like a shock, to a sense of how far he had + depended on her interest for his soul's sake to introduce her to a wider + view of him. + </p> + <p> + “But you have come to tell me about yourself,” she said, suddenly it + seemed to Lindsay, who was wrapped in the contemplation of her profile. + “Well, is there any special stumbling-block?” + </p> + <p> + “There are some things I should certainly like you to know,” replied + Lindsay; “but you can't think how difficult—” he glanced at the lath + and plaster partition, but she to whom publicity was a condition salutary, + if not essential, to spiritual experience, naturally had no interpretation + for that. + </p> + <p> + “I know it's sometimes hard to speak,” she said; “Satan ties our tongues.” + </p> + <p> + The misunderstanding was absurd, but he saw only its difficulties, + knitting his brows. + </p> + <p> + “I fear you will find my story very strange and very mad,” he said. “I + cannot be sure that you will even listen to it.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” Laura said simply, “do not be afraid! I have heard confessions! I + work at home, you see, a good deal among the hospitals, and—we do + not shrink, you know, in the Army, from things like that.” + </p> + <p> + “Good God!” he exclaimed, staring, “you don't think—you don't + suppose—” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! don't say that! It's so like swearing.” + </p> + <p> + As he sat in helpless anger, trying to formulate something intelligible, + the curtain parted, and a sallow little Eurasian girl of eighteen, also in + the dress of the Army, came through from the bedroom part. She smiled in a + conscious, meaningless way, as she sidled past them. At the door her smile + broadened, and as she closed it after her she gave them a little nod. + </p> + <p> + “That's my lieutenant,” said Laura. + </p> + <p> + “The place is like a warren,” Lindsay groaned. “How can we talk here?” + </p> + <p> + Laura looked at him gravely, as one making a diagnosis. “Do you think,” + she said, “a word of prayer would help you?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said Lindsay. “No, thank you. What is making me miserable,” he added + quietly, “is the knowledge that we are being overheard. If you go into the + next room, I am quite certain you will find Mrs. Sand listening by the + wall.” + </p> + <p> + “She's gone out! She and the Captain and Miss De Souza, to take the + evening meeting. Nobody is in there except the two children, and they are + asleep.” Her smile, he thought, made a Madonna of her. “Indeed, we are + quite alone, you and I, in the flat now. So please don't be afraid, Mr. + Lindsay! Say whatever is in your heart, and the mere saying—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” Lindsay cried, “stop! Don't, for Heaven's sake, look at me in that + light any longer. I'm not penitent. I'm not—what do you call it?—a + soul under conviction. Nothing of the sort.” He waited with + considerateness for this to have its effect upon her; he could not go on + until he saw her emerge, gasping, from the inundation of it. But she was + not even staggered by it. She only looked down at her folded hands with an + added seriousness and a touch of sorrow. + </p> + <p> + “Aren't you?” she said. “But at least you feel that you ought to be. I + thought it had been accomplished. But I will go on praying.” + </p> + <p> + “Shall you be very angry if I tell you that I'd rather you didn't? I want + to come into your life differently—sincerely.” + </p> + <p> + She looked at him with such absolute blankness that his resolution was + swiftly overturned, and showed him a different face. + </p> + <p> + “I won't tell you anything about what I feel and what I want to-night + except this—I find that you are influencing all my thoughts and all + my days in what is to me a very new and a very happy way. You hear as much + as that often, and from many people, don't you? So there is nothing in it + that need startle you or make you uncomfortable.” He paused, and she + nodded in a visible effort to follow him. + </p> + <p> + “So I am here to-night to ask you to let me do something for you just for + my own pleasure—there must be some way of helping you, and being + your friend—” + </p> + <p> + “As Mr. Harris is,” she interrupted. “I do influence Mr. Harris for good, + I know. He says so.” + </p> + <p> + “Influence me,” he begged, “in any way you like.” + </p> + <p> + “I will pray for you,” she said. “I promise that.” + </p> + <p> + “And you will let me see you sometimes?” he asked, conceding the point. + </p> + <p> + “If I thought it would do you any good”—she looked at him + doubtfully, clasping and unclasping her hands; “I will see; I will ask for + guidance. Perhaps it is one of His own appointed ways. If you have no + objection, I will give you this little book, Almost Persuaded. I am sure + you are almost persuaded. Above all, I hope you will go on coming to the + meetings.” + </p> + <p> + And in the course of the next two or three moments Lindsay found himself, + somewhat to his astonishment, again in the night of the staircase, + dismissed exactly as Mr. Harris had been, by the agency of a printed + volume. Only in his case a figure of much angelic beauty stood at the top, + holding a patent kerosene lamp high, to illumine his way. He refrained + from looking back lest she should see something too human in his face, and + vanish, leaving him in darkness which would be indeed impenetrable. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII + </h2> + <p> + There was a panic in Dhurrumtolla; a “ticca-gharry”—the shabby + oblong box on wheels, dignified in municipal regulations as a hackney + carriage—was running away. Coolie mothers dragged naked children up + on the pavement with angry screams; drivers of ox-carts dug their lean + beasts in the side, and turned out of the way almost at a trot; only the + tram-car held on its course in conscious invincibility. A pariah tore + along beside the vehicle barking; crows flew up from the rubbish heaps in + the road by half-dozens, protesting shrilly; a pedlar of blue bead + necklaces just escaped being knocked down. Little groups of native clerks + and money-lenders stood looking after, laughing and speculating; a native + policeman, staring also, gave them sharp orders to disperse, and they said + to him, “Peace, brother.” To each other they said, “Behold, the driver is + a 'mut-wallah'” (or drunken person); and presently, as the thing whirled + farther up the emptied perspective, “Lo! the syce has fallen.” The driver + was certainly very drunk; his whip circled perpetually above his head; the + syce clinging behind was stiff with terror, and fell off like a bundle of + rags. Inside, Hilda Howe, with a hand in the strap at each side and her + feet against the opposite seat, swayed violently and waited for what might + happen, breathing short. Whenever the gharry thrashed over the tram-lines, + she closed her eyes. There was a point near Cornwallis Street where she + saw the off front wheel make sickeningly queer revolutions; and another, + electrically close, when two tossing roan heads with pink noses appeared + in a gate to the left, heading smartly out, all unawares, at precisely + right angles to her own derelict equipage. That was the juncture of the + Reverend Stephen Arnold's interference, walking and discussing with + Amiruddin Khan, as he was, the comparative benefits of Catholic and + Mohammedan fasting. It would be easy to magnify what Stephen did in that + interruption of the considerate hearing he was giving to Amiruddin. The + ticca-gharry ponies were almost spent, and any resolute hand could have + impelled them away from the carriage-pole with which the roans threatened + to impale their wretched sides. The front wheel, however, made him heroic, + going off at a tangent into a cloth merchant's shop, and precipitating a + crash while he still clung to the reins. The door flew open on the under + side, and Hilda fell through, grasping at the dust of the road; while the + driver, discovering that his seat was no longer horizontal, entered + suddenly upon sobriety, and clamoured with tears that the cloth-merchant + should restore his wheel—was he not a poor man? Hilda, struggling + with her hat-pins, felt her dress brushed by various lean hands of the + bazar, and observed herself the central figure in yet another situation. + When she was in a condition to see, she saw Arnold soothing the ponies; + Amiruddin, before the vague possibility of police complication having + slipped away. Stephen had believed the gharry empty. The sight of her, in + her disordered draperies, was a revelation and a reproach. + </p> + <p> + “Is it possible!” he exclaimed, and was beside her. “You are not hurt?” + </p> + <p> + “Only scraped, thanks. I am lucky to get off with this.” She held up her + right palm, broadly abraded round the base, where her hand had struck the + road. Arnold took it delicately in his own thin fingers to examine it; an + infinity of contrast rested in the touch. He looked at it with anxiety so + obviously deep and troubled, that Hilda silently smiled. She who had been + battered, as she said, twice round the world, found it disproportionate. + </p> + <p> + “It's the merest scratch,” she said, grave again to meet his glance. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, I fear not.” The priest made a solicitous bandage with his + handkerchief, while the circle about them solidified. “It is quite + unpleasantly deep. You must let me take you at once to the nearest + chemist's and get it properly washed and dressed, or it may give you a + vast amount of trouble—but I am walking.” + </p> + <p> + “I will walk too,” Hilda said readily. “I should prefer it, truly.” With + her undamaged hand she produced a rupee from her pocket, where a few coins + chinked casually, looked at it, and groped for another. “I really can't + afford any more,” she said. “He can get his wheel mended with that, can't + he?” + </p> + <p> + “It is three times his fare,” Arnold said austerely, “and he deserved + nothing—but a fine, perhaps.” The man was suppliant before them, + cringing, salaaming, holding joined palms open. Hilda lifted her head and + looked over the shoulders of the little rabble, where the sun stood golden + upon the roadside and two naked children played with a torn pink kite. + Something seemed to gather into her eyes as she looked, and when she fixed + them softly upon Arnold, to speak, as it had spoken before. + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” she said. “Our deserts.” + </p> + <p> + It was the merest echo, and she had done it on purpose, but he could not + know that, and as she dropped the rupees into the craving hands, and + turned and walked away with him, he was held in a frightened silence. + There was nothing perhaps that he wanted to talk of more than of his + experience at the theatre; he longed to have it simplified and explained; + yet in that space of her two words the impossibility of mentioning it had + sprung at him and overcome him. He hoped, with instant fervour, that she + would refrain from any allusion to The Offence of Galilee. And for the + time being she did refrain. She said, instead, that her hand was smarting + absurdly already, and did Arnold suppose the chemist would use a carbolic + lotion? Stephen, with a guarded look, said very possibly not, but one + never knew; and Hilda, thinking of the far-off day when the little girl of + her was brought tactfully to disagreeable necessities; covered a + preposterous impulse to cry with another smile. + </p> + <p> + A thudding of bare feet overtook them. It was the syce, with his arms full + of thin paper bags, the kind that hold cheap millinery. “Oh, the good + man!” Hilda exclaimed. “My parcels!” and looked on equably, while Arnold + took them by their puckered ends. “I have been buying gold lace and things + from Chunder Dutt for a costume,” she explained. The bags dangled + helplessly from Arnold's fingers; he looked very much aware of them. “Let + me carry at least one,” she begged. “I can perfectly with my parasol + hand;” but he refused her even one. “If I may be permitted to take the + responsibility,” he said happily, and she rejoined, “Oh, I would trust you + with things more fragile.” At which, such is the discipline of these + Orders, he looked steadily in front of him, and seemed deaf with modesty. + </p> + <p> + “But are you sure,” said Hilda, suddenly considerate, “that it looks + well?” + </p> + <p> + “Is the gold lace then so very meretricious?” + </p> + <p> + “It goes doubtfully with your cloth,” she laughed, and instantly looked + stricken with the conviction that she might better have said something + else. But Arnold appeared to take it simply and to see no gibe in it, only + a pleasant commonplace. + </p> + <p> + “It might look queer in Chowringhee,” he said, “but this is not a + censorious public.” Then, as if to palliate the word, he added, “They will + think me no more mad to carry paper bags than to carry myself, when it is + plain that I might ride—and they see me doing that every day.” + </p> + <p> + All the same the paper bags swinging beside the girdled black skirt did + impart a touch of comedy, which was in a way a pity, since humour goes so + far to destroy the picturesque. Hilda without the paper bags would have + been vastly enough for contrast. She walked—one is inclined to dwell + upon her steps and face the risk of being unintelligible—in a + wide-sleeved gown of peach-coloured silk, rather frayed at the seams; a + trifle spent in vulnerable places, surmounted by an extravagant collar and + a Paris hat. The dress was of artistic intention inexpensively carried + out, the hat had an accomplished chic; it had fallen to her in the wreck + and ruin of a too ambitious draper of Coolgardie. As a matter of fact it + was the only one she had. The wide sleeves ended a little below the elbow, + and she carried in compensation a pair of long suede gloves, a compromise + which only occasionally discovered itself buttonless, and a most expensive + umbrella, the tribute of a gentleman in that line of business in Cape + Town, whose standing advertisement is now her note of appreciation. Arnold + in his unvarying gait paced beside her; he naturally shrank, so close to + her opulence, into something less impressive than he was; a mere + intelligence he looked, in a quaint uniform, with his long lip drawn down + and pursed a little in this accomplishment of duty, and his eyes steadily + in front of him. Hilda's lambent observation was everywhere, but most of + all on him; a fleck of the dust from the road still lay upon the warm + bloom of her cheek, a perpetual happy curve clung about her mouth. So they + passed in streets of the thronging people, where yards of new-dyed cotton, + purple and yellow, stretched drying in the sun, where a busy tom-tom + called the pious to leave coppers before a blood-red, golden-tongued Kali, + half visible through the door of a mud hut—where all the dealers in + brass dishes and glass armlets and silver-gilt stands for the comfortable + hubble-bubble, squatted in line upon their thresholds and accepted them + with indifference. So they passed, worthy of a glance from that divinity + who shapes our ends. + </p> + <p> + They talked of the accident. “You stopped the horses, didn't you?” Hilda + said, and the speculation in her eyes was concerned with the extent to + which a muscular system might dwindle, in that climate, under sacerdotal + robes worn every day. + </p> + <p> + “I told them to stop, poor things,” Arnold said; “they had hardly to be + persuaded.” + </p> + <p> + “But you didn't save my life or anything like that, did you?” she + adventured like a vagrant in the sun. The blood was warm in her. She did + not weigh her words. “I shouldn't like having my life saved. The necessity + for feeling such a vast emotion—I shouldn't know how to cope with + it.” + </p> + <p> + “I will claim to have saved your other hand,” he smiled. “You will be + quite grateful enough for that.” + </p> + <p> + She noted that he did not hasten, behind blushes, into the shelter of a + general disavowal. The cassock seemed to cover an obligation to + acknowledge things. + </p> + <p> + “I see,” she said, veering round. “You are quite right to circumscribe me. + There is nothing so boring as the gratitude that will out. It is only the + absence of it, too plainly expressed, that is unpleasant. But you won't + find that in me either.” She gave him a smile as she lowered her parasol + to turn into the shop of Lahiri Dey, licensed to sell European drugs, that + promised infinite possibilities of friendship; and, he, following, took + pleased and careful possession of it. + </p> + <p> + An hour later, as they approached Number Three, Lal Behari's Lane, Miss + Howe looked pale, which is not surprising since they had walked and talked + all the way. Their talk was a little strenuous too; it was as if they had + fallen upon an opportunity, and, mutually, consciously made the most of + it. + </p> + <p> + “You must have some tea immediately,” Arnold said, before the battered + urns and the dusty crotons of her dwelling. + </p> + <p> + “A little whisky and soda, I think. And you will come up, please, and have + some too. You must.” + </p> + <p> + “Thanks,” he said, looking at his watch. “If I do—” + </p> + <p> + “You'll have the soda without the whisky! All right!” she laughed, and led + the way. + </p> + <p> + “This is vicious indulgence,” Arnold said of his beverage, sitting under + the inverted Japanese umbrellas. “I haven't been pitched out of a + ticca-gharry.” + </p> + <p> + It is doubtful whether the indulgence was altogether in the soda, which + is, after all, ascetic in its quality, and only suitably effervescent, + like ecclesiastical humour. It may very probably be that there was no + indulgence; indeed, one is convinced that the word, like so many words, + says too much. The springs of Arnold's chair were bursting through the + bottom, and there were stains on its faded chintz-arms, but it was + comfortable, and he leaned back in it, looking up at the paper umbrellas. + You know the room; I took you into it with Duff Lindsay, who did not come + there from rigidities and rituals, and who had a qualified pleasure in it. + But there were lines in the folds of the flowered window-curtains dragging + half a yard upon the floor, which seemed to disband Arnold's spirit, and a + twinkle in the blue bead of a bamboo screen where the light came through + that released it altogether. The shabby violent-coloured place encompassed + him like an easy garment, and the lady with her feet tucked up on a sofa + and a cushion under her tumbled head, was an unembarrassing invitation to + the kind of happy things he had not said for years. They sat in the + coolness of the room for half an hour, and then, after a little pause, + Hilda said suddenly— + </p> + <p> + “I am glad you saw me in The Offence of Galilee on Saturday night. We + shall not play it again.” + </p> + <p> + “It has been withdrawn?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes. The rights, you know, really belong to Mr. Bradley; and he can't + endure his part.” + </p> + <p> + “Is there no one else to—” + </p> + <p> + “He objects to anyone else. We generally play together.” This was + inadvertent, but Stephen had no reason to imagine that she contracted her + eyebrows in any special irritation. “It is an atrocious piece,” she added. + </p> + <p> + “Is it?” he said absently, and then, “Yes, it is an atrocious piece. But I + am glad, too, that I saw you.” + </p> + <p> + He looked away from her, reddening deeply, and stood up. He bade her a + measured and precise farewell. It seemed as if he hurried. She only half + rose to give him her unwounded hand, and when he was gone she sank back + again thoughtfully. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII + </h2> + <p> + “I have outstayed all the rest,” Lindsay said, with his hat and stick in + his hand, in Alicia Livingstone's drawing-room, “because I want + particularly to talk to you. They have left me precious little time,” he + added, glancing at his watch. + </p> + <p> + She had wondered when he came, early in the formal Sunday noon hour for + men's calls, since he had more casual privileges; and wondered more when + he sat on with composure, as one who is master of the situation, while + Major-Generals and Deputy-Secretaries came and went. There was a mist in + her brain as she talked to the Major-Generals and Deputy-Secretaries—it + did not in the least obscure what she found to say—and in the midst + of it the formless idea that he must wish to attach a special importance + to his visit. This took shape and line when they were alone, and he spoke + of out-sitting the others. It impelled her to walk to the window and open + it. “You might stay to lunch,” she said, addressing a pair of crows in + altercation on the verandah. + </p> + <p> + “There is nearly half an hour before lunch,” he said. “Can I convince you + in that time, I wonder, that I'm not an absolute fool?” + </p> + <p> + Alicia turned and came back to her sofa. She may have had a prevision of + the need of support. “I hardly think,” she said, drawing the long breath + with which we try to subdue a tempest within, “that it would take so + long.” She looked with careful criticism at the violets in his buttonhole. + </p> + <p> + “I've had a supreme experience,” he said, “very strange and very lovely. I + am living in it, moving in it, speaking in it,” he added quickly, watching + her face; “so don't, for Heaven's sake, touch it roughly.” + </p> + <p> + She lifted her hand in nervous, involuntary deprecation. “Why should you + suppose I would touch it roughly?” There was that in her voice which cried + out that she would rather not touch it at all; but Lindsay, on the brink + of his confidence, could not suppose it, did not hear it. He knew her so + well. + </p> + <p> + “A great many people will,” he said. “I can't bear the thought of their + fingers. That is one reason that brings me to you.” + </p> + <p> + She faced him fully at this; her eyelids quivered, but she looked straight + at him. It nerved her to be brought into his equation, even in the form + which should finally be eliminated. She contrived a smile. + </p> + <p> + “I believe you know already,” Lindsay cried. + </p> + <p> + “I have heard something. Don't be alarmed—not from people, from Miss + Howe.” + </p> + <p> + “Wonderful woman! I haven't told her.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that always necessary? She has intuitions. In this case,” Alicia went + on, with immense courage, “I didn't believe them.” + </p> + <p> + “Why?” he asked enjoyingly. Anything to handle his delight—he would + even submit it to analysis. + </p> + <p> + She hesitated—her business was in great waters, the next instant + might engulf her. “It's so curiously unlike you,” she faltered. “If she + had been a duchess—a very exquisite person, or somebody very clever—remember + I haven't seen her.” + </p> + <p> + “You haven't, so I must forgive you invidious comparisons.” Lindsay + visaged the words with a smile, but they had an articulated hardness. + </p> + <p> + Alicia raised her eyebrows. + </p> + <p> + “What do you expect one to imagine?” she asked, with quietness. + </p> + <p> + “A miracle,” he said sombrely. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, that's difficult!” + </p> + <p> + There was silence for a moment between them, then she added perversely— + </p> + <p> + “And, you know, faith is not what it was.” + </p> + <p> + Duff sat biting his lips. Her dryness irritated him. He was accustomed to + find in her fields of delicately blooming enthusiasms, and running + watercourses where his satisfactions were ever reflected. Suddenly she + seemed to emerge to her own consciousness, upon a summit from which she + could look down upon the turmoil in herself and beyond it, to where he + stood. + </p> + <p> + “Don't make a mistake,” she said. “Don't.” She thrust her hand for a + fraction of an instant toward him, and then swiftly withdrew it, gathering + herself together to meet what he might say. + </p> + <p> + What he did say was simple, and easy to hear. “That's what everybody will + tell me; but I thought you might understand.” He tapped the toe of his + boot with his stick as if he counted the strokes. She looked down and + counted them too. + </p> + <p> + “Then you won't help me to marry her?” he said, definitely, at last. + </p> + <p> + “What could I do?” She twisted her sapphire ring. “Ask somebody else.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't expect me to believe there is nothing you could do. Go to her as my + friend. It isn't such a monstrous thing to ask. Tell her any good you know + of me. At present her imagination paints me in all the lurid colours of + the lost.” + </p> + <p> + The face she turned upon him was all little sharp white angles, and the + cloud of fair hair above her temples stood out stiffly, suggesting Celine + and the curling tongs. She did not lose her elegance; the poise of her + chin and shoulders was quite perfect, but he thought she looked too + amusedly at his difficulty. Her negative, too, was more unsympathetic than + he had any reason to expect. + </p> + <p> + “No,” she said. “It must be somebody else. Don't ask me. I should become + involved—I might do harm.” She had surmounted her emotion; she was + able to look at the matter with surprising clearness and decision. “I + should do harm,” she repeated. + </p> + <p> + “You don't count with her effect on you.” + </p> + <p> + “You can't possibly imagine her effect on me. I'm not a man.” + </p> + <p> + “But won't you take anything—about her—from me? You know I'm + really not a fool—not even very impressionable?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh no!” she said impatiently. “No—of course not.” + </p> + <p> + “Pray why?” + </p> + <p> + “There are other things to reckon with.” She looked coldly beyond him out + of the window. “A man's intelligence when he is in love—how far can + one count on it?” + </p> + <p> + There was nothing but silence for that, or perhaps the murmured, “Oh, I + don't agree,” with which Lindsay met it. He rode down her logic with a + simple appeal. “Then after all,” he said, “you're not my friend.” + </p> + <p> + It goaded her into something like an impertinence. “After you have married + her,” she said, “you'll see.” + </p> + <p> + “You will be hers then,” he declared. + </p> + <p> + “I will be yours.” Her eyes leaped along the prospect and rested on a + brass-studded Tartar shield at the other end of the room. + </p> + <p> + “And I thought you broad in these views,” Lindsay said, glancing at her + curiously. Her opportunity for defence was curtailed by a heavy step in + the hall, and the lifted portiere disclosed Surgeon Major Livingstone, + looking warm. He, whose other name was the soul of hospitality, made a + profound and feeling remonstrance against Lindsay's going before tiffin, + though Alicia, doing something to a bowl of nasturtiums, did not hear it. + Not that her added protest would have detained Lindsay, who took his + perturbation away with him as quickly as might be. Alicia saw the cloud + upon him as he shook hands with her, and found it but slightly consoling + to reflect that his sun would without doubt re-emerge in all effulgence on + the other side of the door. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX + </h2> + <p> + That same Sunday, Alicia had been able to say to Lindsay about Hilda Howe, + “We have not stood still—we know each other well now,” and when he + commented with some reserve upon this to follow it up. “But these things + have so little to do with mere length of time or number of opportunities,” + she declared. “One springs at some people.” + </p> + <p> + A Major-General, interrupting, said he wished he had the chance; and they + talked about something else. But perhaps this is enough to explain a note + which went by messenger from the Livingstones' pillared palace in + Middleton Street to Number Three, Lal Behari's Lane, on Monday morning. It + was a short note, making a definite demand with an absence of colour and + softness and emotion which was almost elaborate. Hilda, at breakfast, tore + off the blank half sheet, and wrote in pencil— + </p> + <p> + “I think I can arrange to get her here about five this afternoon. No + rehearsal—they're doing something to the gas-pipes at the theatre, + so you will find me, anyway. And I'll be delighted to see you.” + </p> + <p> + She twisted it up and addressed it, reconsidered that, and made the scrap + more secure in a yellow envelope. It had an embossed post-office stamp, + which she sacrificed with resignation. Then she went back to an extremely + uninteresting vegetable curry, with the reflection—“Can she possibly + imagine that one doesn't see it yet?” + </p> + <p> + Alicia came before five. She brought a novel of Gissing's, in order + apparently that they might without fail talk about Gissing. Hilda was + agreeable; she would talk about Gissing, or about anything, tipped on the + edge of her bed—Alicia had surmounted that degree of intimacy at a + bound by the declaration that she could no longer endure the blue + umbrellas—and clasping one knee, with an uncertain tenure of a + chipped bronze slipper deprived of its heel. Wonderful silk draperies fell + about her, with ink-spots on the sleeves; her hair was magnificent. + </p> + <p> + “It's so curious to me,” she was saying of the novel, “that anyone should + learn all that life as you do, at a distance, in a book. It's like looking + at it through the little end of an opera-glass.” + </p> + <p> + “I fancy that the most desirable way,” said Alicia, glancing at the door. + </p> + <p> + “Don't you believe it. The best way is to come out of it, to grow out of + it. Then all the rest has the charm of novelty and the value of contrast, + and the distinction of being the best. You, poor dear, were born an + artificial flower in a cardboard box. But you couldn't help it.” + </p> + <p> + “Everybody doesn't grow out of it.” The concentration in Alicia's eyes + returned again with vacillating wings. + </p> + <p> + “She can't be here for a quarter of an hour yet.” The slipper dropped at + this point, and Hilda stooped to put it on again. She kept her foot in her + hands, and regarded it pensively. + </p> + <p> + “Shoes are the one thing one shouldn't buy in the native quarter,” she + continued; “at all events, ready-made.” + </p> + <p> + “You have an audacity—” Alicia ended abruptly in a wan smile. + </p> + <p> + “Haven't I? Are you quite sure he wants to marry her?” + </p> + <p> + “I know it.” + </p> + <p> + “From him?” + </p> + <p> + “From him.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh!”—Hilda deliberated a moment nursing her slipper—“Really? + Well, we can't let that happen.” + </p> + <p> + “Why not?” + </p> + <p> + “You have a hardihood! Is no reason plain to you? Don't you see anything?” + </p> + <p> + Alicia smiled again painfully, as if against a tension of her lips. “I see + only one thing that matters—he wants it,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “And won't be happy till he gets it! Rubbish, my dear! We are an + intolerably self-sacrificing sex.” Hilda felt about for pillows, and + stretched her length along the bed. “They've taught us well, the men; it's + a blood disease now, running everywhere in the female line. You may be + sure it was a barbarian princess that hesitated between the lady and the + tiger. A civilised one would have introduced the lady and given her a dot, + and retired to the nearest convent. Bah! It's a deformity, like the + dachshund's legs.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia looked as if this would be a little troublesome, and not quite + worth while, to follow. + </p> + <p> + “The happiness of his whole life is involved,” she said simply. + </p> + <p> + “Oh dear yes—the old story! And what about the happiness of yours? + Do you imagine it's laudable, admirable, this attitude? Do you see + yourself in it with pleasure? Have you got a sacred satisfaction of + self-praise?” + </p> + <p> + Contempt accumulated in Miss Howe's voice, and sat in her eyes. To mark + her climax she kicked her slippers over the end of the bed. + </p> + <p> + “It is idiotic—it's disgusting,” she said. + </p> + <p> + Alicia caught a flash from her. “My attitude!” she cried. “What in the + world do you mean? Do you always think in poses? I take no attitude. I + care for him, and in that proportion I intend that he shall have what he + wants—so far as I can help him to it. You have never cared for + anybody—what do you know about it?” + </p> + <p> + Hilda took a calm, unprejudiced view of the ceiling. “I assure you I'm not + an angel,” she cried. “Haven't I cared! Several times.” + </p> + <p> + “Not really—not lastingly.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know about really; certainly not lastingly. I've never thought + the men should have a monopoly of nomadic susceptibilities. They entail + the prettiest experiences.” + </p> + <p> + “Of course, in your profession—” + </p> + <p> + “Don't be nasty, sweet lady. My affections have never taken the + opportunities of our profession. They haven't even carried me into + matrimony, though I remember once, at Sydney, they brought me to the + brink! We must contrive an escape for Duff Lindsay.” + </p> + <p> + “You assume too much—a great deal too much. She must be beautiful—and + good.” + </p> + <p> + “Give me a figure. She's a lily, and she draws the kind of beauty that + lilies have from her personal chastity and her religious enthusiasm. Touch + those things and bruise them, as—as marriage would touch and bruise + them—and she would be a mere fragment of stale vegetation. You want + him to clasp that to his bosom for the rest of his life?” + </p> + <p> + “I won't believe you. You're coarse and you're cruel.” + </p> + <p> + Tears flashed into Miss Livingstone's eyes with this. Hilda, still + regarding the ceiling, was aware of them, and turned an impatient shoulder + while they should be brushed undetected away. + </p> + <p> + “I'm sorry, dear,” she said. “I forgot. You are usually so intelligent, + one can be coarse and cruel with comfort, talking to you. Go into the + bathroom and get my salts—they're on the washhand-stand—will + you? I'm quite faint with all I'm about to undergo.” + </p> + <p> + Laura Filbert came in as Alicia emerged with the salts. Ignoring the third + person with the bottle, she went directly to the bedside and laid her hand + on Hilda's head. + </p> + <p> + “Oh Miss Howe, I am so sorry you are sick—so sorry,” she said. It + was a cooing of professional concern, true to an ideal, to a necessity. + </p> + <p> + “I am not very bad,” Hilda improvised. “Hardly more than a headache.” + </p> + <p> + “She makes light of everything,” Miss Filbert said, smiling toward Alicia, + who stood silent, the prey of her impression. Discovering the blue salts + bottle, Laura walked over to her and took it from her hands. + </p> + <p> + “And what,” said the barefooted Salvation Army girl to Miss Livingstone, + “might your name be?” + </p> + <p> + There was an infinite calm interest in it—it was like a + conventionality of the other world, and before its assurance Alicia stood + helpless. + </p> + <p> + “Her name is Livingstone,” called Hilda from the bed, “and she is as good + as she is beautiful. You needn't be troubled about HER soul—she + takes Communion every Sunday morning at the Cathedral.” + </p> + <p> + “Hallelujah!” said Captain Filbert, in a tone of dubious congratulation. + </p> + <p> + “Much better,” said Hilda cheerfully, “to take it at the Cathedral, you + know, than nowhere.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Filbert said nothing to this, but sat down upon the edge of the bed, + looking serious, and stroked Hilda's hair. + </p> + <p> + “You don't seem to have much fever,” she said. “There was a poor fellow in + the Military Hospital this morning with a temperature of one hundred and + seven. I could hardly bear to touch him.” + </p> + <p> + “What was the matter?” asked Hilda idly, occupied with hypotheses about + the third person in the room. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I don't know exactly. Some complication, I suppose, of Satan's + tribute—” + </p> + <p> + “Divinest Laura!” Hilda interposed quickly, drawing her head back. “Do + take a chair. It will be even more soothing to see you comfortable.” + </p> + <p> + Captain Filbert spoke again to Alicia, as she obeyed. “Miss Howe is more + thoughtful for others than some of our converted ones,” she said, with + vast kindness. “I have often told her so. I have had a long day.” + </p> + <p> + “It may improve me in that character,” Hilda said, “to suggest that if you + will go about such people, a little carbolic disinfectant is a good thing, + or a crystal or two of permanganate of potash in your bath. Do you use + those things?” + </p> + <p> + Laura shook her head. “Faith is better than disinfectants. I never get any + harm. My Master protects me.” + </p> + <p> + “My goodness!” Hilda said. And in the silence that occurred, Captain + Filbert remarked that the only thing she used carbolic acid for was a + decayed tooth. Presently Alicia made a great effort. She laid hands on + Hilda's previous reference as a tangibility that remained with her. + </p> + <p> + “Do you ever go to the Cathedral?” she said. + </p> + <p> + The faintest shade of dogmatism crossed Captain Filbert's features, as + when on a day of cloud fleeces the sun withdraws for an instant from a + flower. Since her sect is proclaimed beyond the boundaries of dogma it may + have been some other obscurity, but that was the effect. + </p> + <p> + “No. I never go there. We raise our own Ebenezer; we are a tabernacle to + ourselves.” + </p> + <p> + “Isn't it exquisite—her way of speaking!” cried Hilda from the bed, + and Laura glanced at her with a deprecating, reproachful smile, in reproof + of an offence admittedly incorrigible. But she went on as if she were + conscious of a stimulus. + </p> + <p> + “Wherever the morning sky bends or the stars cluster is sanctuary enough,” + she said; “a slum at noonday is as holy for us as daisied fields; the Name + of the Lord walks with us. The Army is His Army, He is Lord of our hosts.” + </p> + <p> + “A kind of chant,” murmured Hilda, and Miss Livingstone became aware that + she might if she liked play with the beginnings of magnetism. Then that + impression was carried away as it were on a puff of air, and it is hardly + likely that she thought of it again. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose all the elite go to the Cathedral?” Laura said. The sanctity of + her face was hardly disturbed, but a curiosity rested upon it, and behind + the curiosity a far-off little, leaping tongue of some other thing. Hilda + on the bed named it the constant feminine, and narrowed her eyes. + </p> + <p> + “Dear me, yes,” she said for Alicia. “His Excellency the Viceroy and all + his beautiful A.D.C.'s, no end of military and their ladies, Secretaries + to the Government of India in rows, fully choral, Under-Secretaries so + thick they're kept in the vestibule till the bells stop. 'And make Thy + chosen people joyful'!” she intoned. “Not forgetting Surgeon-Major and + Miss Alicia Livingstone, who occupy the fourth pew to the right of the + main aisle, advantageously near the pulpit.” + </p> + <p> + “You know already what a humbug she is,” Alicia said, but Captain + Filbert's inner eye seemed retained by that imaginary congregation. + </p> + <p> + “Well, it wouldn't be any attraction for me,” she said, rising to go + through the little accustomed function of her departure. “I'll be going + now, I think. Ensign Sand has fever again, and I have to take her place at + the Believers' Meeting.” She took Hilda's hand in hers and held it for an + instant. “Good-bye, and God bless you—in the way you most need,” she + said, and turned to Alicia, “Good-bye. I am glad to know that we will be + one in the glad hereafter though our paths may diverge”—her eye + rested with acknowledgment upon Alicia's embroidered sleeves—“in + this world. To look at you I should have thought you were of the bowed + down ones, not yet fully assured, but perhaps you only want a little more + oxygen in the blood of your religion. Remember the word of the Lord—'Rejoice! + again I say unto you, rejoice!' Goodbye.” + </p> + <p> + She drew her head-covering farther forward, and moved to the door. It + sloped to her shoulders and made them droop; her native clothes clung + about her breast and her hips in the cringing Oriental way. Miss Howe + looked after her guest with a curl of the lip as uncontrollable as it was + unreasonable. “A saved soul, perhaps. A woman—oh, assuredly,” she + said in the depths of her hair. + </p> + <p> + The door had almost closed upon Captain Filbert when Alicia made something + like a dash at an object about to elude her. “Oh,” she exclaimed, “wait a + minute. Will you come and see me? I think—I think you might do me + good. I live at Number Ten, Middleton Street. Will you come?” + </p> + <p> + Laura came back into the room. There was a little stiffness in her air, as + if she repressed something. + </p> + <p> + “I have no objection,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “To-morrow afternoon—at five? Or—my brother is dining at the + club—would you rather come to dinner?” + </p> + <p> + “Whichever is agreeable to you will suit me.” She spoke carefully, after + an instant's hesitation. + </p> + <p> + “Then do come and dine—at eight,” Alicia said; and it was agreed. + </p> + <p> + She stood staring at the door when Laura finally closed it, and only + turned when Hilda spoke. + </p> + <p> + “You are going to have him to meet her,” she said. “May I come too?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly not.” Alicia's grasp was also by this time on the door handle. + </p> + <p> + “Are you going too? You daren't talk about her!” Hilda cried. + </p> + <p> + “I'm going too. I've got the brougham. I'll drive her home,” said Alicia, + and went out swiftly. + </p> + <p> + “My goodness!” Hilda remarked again. Then she got up and found her + slippers and wrote a note, which she addressed to the Reverend Stephen + Arnold, Clarke Mission House, College Street. “Thanks immensely,” it ran, + “for your delightful offer to introduce me to Father Jordan and persuade + him to show me the astronomical wonders he keeps in his tower at St. + Simeon's. An hour with a Jesuit is an hour of milk and honey, and + belonging to that charming Order, he won't mind my coming on a Sunday + evening—the first clear one.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Howe signed her note and bit consideringly at the end of her pen. + Then she added: “If you have any influence with Duff Lindsay, it may be + news to you that you can exert it with advantage to keep him from marrying + a cheap ethereal little religieuse of the Salvation Army named Filbert. It + may seem more fitting that you should expostulate with her, but I don't + advise that.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X + </h2> + <p> + The door of Ensign Sand's apartment stood open with a purposeful air when + Captain Filbert reached headquarters that evening; but in any case it is + likely that she would have gone in. Mrs. Sand walked the floor, carrying a + baby, a pale sticky baby with blotches, which had inherited from its + maternal parent a conspicuous lack of buttons. Mrs. Sand's room was also + ornamented with texts, but they had apparently been selected at random, + and they certainly hung that way. The piety of the place seemed at the + control of an older infant, who sat on the floor and played with his + father's regimental cap. On the other side of the curtain Captain Sand + audibly washed himself and brushed his hair. + </p> + <p> + “What kind of meetin' did you have?” asked Mrs. Sand. “There—there + now; he shall have his bottle, so he shall!” + </p> + <p> + “A beautiful meeting. Abraham Lincoln White, the Savannah negro, you know, + came as a believer for the first time, and so did Miss Rozario from + Whiteaway and Laidlaw's. We had such a happy time.” + </p> + <p> + “What sort of collection?” + </p> + <p> + Laura opened a knotted handkerchief and counted out some copper coins. + </p> + <p> + “Only seven annas three pice! And you call that a good meeting! I don't + believe you exhorted them to give!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I think I did!” Laura returned mechanically. + </p> + <p> + “Seven annas and three pice! And you know what the Commissioner wrote out + about our last quarter's earnings! What did you say?” + </p> + <p> + “I said—I said the collection would now be taken up,” Laura + faltered. + </p> + <p> + “Oh dear! oh dear! Leopold, stop clawing me! Couldn't you think of + anythin' more tellin' or more touchin' than that? Fever or no fever, it + does not do for me to stay away from the regular meetin's. One thing is + plain—HE wasn't there!” + </p> + <p> + “Who?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, you've never told me his name, but I expect you've got your + reasons.” Mrs. Sand's tone was not arch, but slightly resentful. “I mean + the gentleman that attends so regular and sits behind, under the window. A + society man, I should say, to look at him, though the officers of this + Army are no respecters of persons, and I don't suppose the Lord takes any + notice of his clothes.” + </p> + <p> + “His name is Mr. Lindsay. No, he wasn't there.” + </p> + <p> + The girl's tone was distant and cold. The rebuke about the collection had + gone home to a place raw with similar reproaches. + </p> + <p> + “I hope you haven't been discouraging him?” + </p> + <p> + Captain Filbert looked at her superior officer with astonishment. + </p> + <p> + “I have entreated him to come to the meetings. But he never attends a + Believers' Rally. Why should he?” + </p> + <p> + “What's his state of mind? He came to see you, didn't he, the other + night?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, he did. I don't think he's altogether careless.” + </p> + <p> + “Ain't he seeking?” + </p> + <p> + “He wouldn't admit it, but he may not know himself. The Lord has different + ways of working. What else should bring him, night after night?” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Sand glanced meaningly at a point on the floor, with lifted eyebrows, + then at her officer, and finally hid a badly-disciplined smile behind her + baby's head. When she looked back again Laura had flushed all over, and an + embarrassment stood between them, which she felt was absurd. + </p> + <p> + “My!” she said,—scruples in breaking it could hardly perhaps have + been expected of her,—“you do look nice when you've got a little + colour. But if you can't see that it's you that brings him to the + meetin's, you must be blind, that's all.” + </p> + <p> + Captain Filbert's confusion was dispelled, as by the wave of a wand. + </p> + <p> + “Then I hope I may go on bringing him,” she said. “He couldn't come to a + better place.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, you'll have to be careful,” said Mrs. Sand, as if with severe + intent. “But I don't say discourage him; I wouldn't say that. You may be + an influence for good. It may be His will that you should be pleasant to + the young man. But don't make free with him. Don't, on any account, have + him put his arm round your waist.” + </p> + <p> + “Nobody has done that to me,” Laura replied austerely, “since I left + Putney, and so long as I am in the Army nobody will. Not that Mr. Lindsay” + (she blushed again) “would ever want to. The class he belongs to look down + on it.” + </p> + <p> + “The class he belongs to do worse things. The Army doesn't look down on + it. It's only nature, and the Army believes in working with nature. If it + was Mr. Harris I wouldn't say a word—he marches under the Lord's + banner.” + </p> + <p> + Captain Filbert listened without confusion; her expression was even + slightly complacent. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” she said, “I told Mr. Harris last evening that the Lieutenant and + I couldn't go on giving him so much of our time, and he seemed to think + he'd been keeping company with me. I had to tell him I hadn't any such + idea.” + </p> + <p> + “Did he seem much disappointed?” + </p> + <p> + “He said he thought he would have more of the feeling of belonging to the + Army if he was married in it; but I told him he would have to learn to + walk alone.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Sand speculatively bit her lips. + </p> + <p> + “I don't know but what you did right,” she said. “By the grace of God you + converted him, and he hadn't ought to ask more of you. But I have a kind + of feeling that Mr. Lindsay 'll be harder to convince.” + </p> + <p> + “I daresay.” + </p> + <p> + “It would be splendid, though, to garner him in. He might be willing to + march with us and subscribe half his pay, like poor Captain Corby, of the + Queen's army, did in Rangoon.” + </p> + <p> + “He might be proud to.” + </p> + <p> + “We must all try and bring sin home to him,” Mrs. Sand remarked with + rising energy; “and don't you go saying anything to him hastily. If he's + gone on you—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh Ensign! let us hope he is thinking of higher things! Let us both pray + for him. Let Captain Sand pray for him too, and I'll ask the Lieutenant. + Now that she's got Miss Rozario safe into the kingdom, I don't think she + has any special object.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh yes, we'll pray for him,” Ensign Sand returned, as if that might have + gone without saying, “but you—” + </p> + <p> + “And give me that precious baby. You must be completely worn out. I should + enjoy taking care of him; indeed I should.” + </p> + <p> + “It's the first—the very first—time she ever took that + draggin' child out of my arms for an instant,” the Ensign remarked to her + husband and next in command later in the evening, but she resigned the + infant without protest at the time. Laura carried him into her own room + with something like gaiety, and there repeated to him more nursery rhymes, + dating from secular Putney, than she would have believed she remembered. + </p> + <p> + The Believers' Rally, as will be understood, was a gathering of some + selectness. If the Chinaman came, it was because of the vagueness of his + perception of the privileges he claimed; and his ignorance of all tongues + but his own left no medium for turning him out. Qualms of conscience, + however, kept all Miss Rozario's young lady friends away, and these also + doubtless operated to detain Duff Lindsay. One does not attend a + Believers' Rally unless one's personal faith extends beyond the lady in + command of it, and one specially refrains if one's spiritual condition is + a delicate and debatable matter with her. In Wellesley Square, later in + the evening, the conditions were different. It would not be easy to + imagine a scene that suggested greater liberality of sentiment. The moon + shed her light upon it, and the palms threw fretted shadows down. Beyond + them, on four sides, lines of street-lamps shone, and tram-drivers + whistled bullock-carts off the lines, and street pedlars lifted their + cries. A torch marked the core of the group of exhorters; it struck pale + gold from Laura's hair, and made glorious the buttons of the man who beat + the drum. She talked to the people in their own language; the “open air” + was designed for the people. “Kiko! Kiko!” (Why! Why!) Lindsay heard her + cry, where he stood in the shadow, on the edge of the crowd. He looked + down at a coolie-woman with shrivelled breasts crouched on her haunches + upon the ground, bent with the toil of half a century, and back at the + girl beside the torch. “Do not delay until to-morrow!” Laura besought + them. “Kul ka dari mut karo!” A sensation of disgust assailed him; he + turned away. Then, in an impulse of atonement—he felt already so + responsible for her—he went back and dropped a coin into the coolie + creature's lap. But he grew more miserable as he stood, and finally walked + deliberately to a wooden bench at a distance where he could not hear her + voice. Only the hymn pursued him; they sang presently a hymn. In the + chorus the words were distinguishable, borne in the robust accents of + Captain Sand— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Us ki ho tarif, + Us ki ho tarif!” + </pre> + <p> + The strange words, limping on the familiar air, made a barbarous jangle, a + discordance of a specially intolerable sort. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Glory to His name! + Glory to His name!” + </pre> + <p> + Lindsay wondered, with a poignancy of pity, whether the coolie-woman were + singing too, and found something like relief in the questionable + reflection that if she wasn't, in view of the rupee, she ought to be. + </p> + <p> + His “Good-evening!” when the meeting was over, was a cheerful, general + salutation, and the familiarity of the sight of him was plain in the + response he got, equally general and equally cheerful. Lieutenant Da + Cruz's smile was even further significant, if he had thought of + interpreting it, and there was overt amiability in the manner in which + Ensign Sand put her hymn-books together and packed everybody, including + her husband, whose arm she took, out of the way. + </p> + <p> + “Wait for me,” Laura said, to whom a Eurasian beggar made elaborate + appeal, as they moved off. + </p> + <p> + “I guess you've got company to see you home,” Mrs. Sand called out, and + they did not wait. As Lindsay came closer the East Indian paused in his + tale of the unburied wife for whom he could not afford a coffin, and + slipped away. + </p> + <p> + “The Ensign knows she oughtn't to talk like that,” Laura said. Lindsay + marked with a surge of pleasure that she was flushed, and seemed + perturbed. + </p> + <p> + “What she said was quite true,” he ventured. + </p> + <p> + “But—anybody would think—” + </p> + <p> + “What would anybody think? Shall we keep to this side of the road? It's + quieter. What would anybody think?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, silly things.” Laura threw up her head with a half laugh. “Things I + needn't mention.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay was silent for an instant. Then “Between us?” he asked, and she + nodded. + </p> + <p> + Their side of the street, along the square, was nearly empty. He found her + hand and drew it through his arm. “Would you mind so very much,” he said, + “if those silly things were true?” He spoke as if to a child. His passion + was never more clearly a single object to him, divorced from all + complicating and non-essential impressions of her. “I would give all I + possess to have it so,” he told her, catching at any old foolish phrase + that would serve. + </p> + <p> + “I don't believe you mean anything like all you say, Mr. Lindsay.” Her + head was bent and she kept her hand within his arm. He seemed to be a + circumstance that brought her reminiscences of how one behaved + sentimentally toward a young man with whom there was no serious + entanglement. It is not surprising that he saw only one thing, walls going + down before him, was aware only of something like invitation. Existence + narrowed itself to a single glowing point; as he looked it came so near + that he bounded to meet it. + </p> + <p> + “Dear,” he said, “you can't know—there is no way of telling you—what + I mean. I suppose every man feels the same thing about the woman he loves; + but it seems to me that my life had never known the sun until I saw you. I + can't explain to you how poor it was, and I won't try; but I fancy God + sends every one of us, if we know it, some one blessed chance, and He did + more for me—He lifted the veil of my stupidity and let me see it, + passing by in its halo, trailing clouds of glory. I don't want to make you + understand, though—I want to make you promise. I want to be + absolutely sure from to-night that you'll marry me. Say that you'll marry + me—say it before we get to the crossing. Say it, Laura.” She + listened to his first words with a little half-controlled smile, then made + as if she would withdraw her hand, but he held it with his own, and she + heard him through, walking beside him formally on her bare feet, and + looking carefully at the asphalt pavement as they do in Putney. + </p> + <p> + “I don't object to your calling me by my given name,” she said when he had + done, “but it can't go any further than that, Mr. Lindsay, and you ought + not to bring God into it—indeed you ought not. You are no son or + servant of His—you are among those whose very light is darkness, and + how great is your darkness!” + </p> + <p> + “Don't,” he said shortly. “Never mind about that—now. You needn't be + afraid of me, Laura—there are decent chaps, you know, outside your + particular Kingdom of Heaven, and one of them wants you to marry him, + that's how it is. Will you?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't wish to judge you, Mr. Lindsay, and I'm very much obliged, but I + couldn't dream of it.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't dream of it; consider it, accept it. Why, dear creature, you are + mine already—don't you feel that?” + </p> + <p> + Her arm was certainly warm within his and he had the possession of his + eyes in her. Her tired body even clung to him. “Are you quite sure you + haven't begun to think of loving me?” he demanded. + </p> + <p> + “It isn't a question of love, Mr. Lindsay, it's a question of the Army. + You don't seem to think the Army counts for anything.” + </p> + <p> + One is convinced that it wasn't a question of love, the least in the + world; but Lindsay detected an evasion in what she said, and the flame in + him leaped up. + </p> + <p> + “Sweet, when love is concerned there is no other question.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that a quotation?” she asked. She spoke coldly, and this time she + succeeded in withdrawing her hand. “I daresay you think the Army very + common, Mr. Lindsay, but to me it is marching on a great and holy crusade, + and I march with it. You would not ask me to give up my life-work?” + </p> + <p> + “Only to take it into another sphere,” Duff said unreflectingly. He was + checked, but not discouraged; impatient, but in no wise cast down. She had + not flown, she walked beside him placidly. She had no intention of flight. + He tried to resign himself to the task of beating down her trivial + objections, curbing his athletic impulse to leap over them. + </p> + <p> + “Another sphere,”—he caught a subtle pleasure in her enunciation. “I + suppose you mean high society; but it would never be the same.” + </p> + <p> + “Not quite the same. You would have to drive to see your sinners in a + carriage and pair, and you might be obliged to dine with them in—what + do ladies generally dine in?—white satin and diamonds, or pearls. I + think I would rather see you in pearls.” He was aware of the + inexcusableness of the points he made, but he only stopped to laugh + inwardly at their impression, watching the absorbed turn of her head. + </p> + <p> + “We might think it well to be a little select in our sinners—most of + them would be on Government House list, just as most of your present ones + are on the lists of the charitable societies or the police magistrates. + But you would find just as much to do for them.” + </p> + <p> + “I should not even know how to act in such company.” + </p> + <p> + “You can go home for a year, if you like, to be taught, to some people I + know; delightful people, who will understand. A year! You will learn in + three months—what odds and ends there are to know. I couldn't spare + you for a year.” + </p> + <p> + Lindsay stopped. He had to. Captain Filbert was murmuring the cadences of + a hymn. She went through two stanzas, and covered her eyes for a moment + with her hand. When she spoke it was in a quiet, level, almost mechanical + way. “Yes,” she said. “The Cross and the Crown, the Crown and the Cross. + Father in heaven, I do not forget Thy will and Thy purpose, that I should + bring the word of Thy love to the poor and the lowly, the outcast and + those despised. And what I say to this man, who offers me the gifts and + the gladness of a world that had none for Thee, is the answer Thou hast + put in my heart—that the work is Thine and that I am Thine, and he + has no part or lot in me, nor can ever have. Here is Crooked Lane. + Good-night, Mr. Lindsay.” She had slipped into the devious darkness of the + place before he could find any reply, before he quite realised, indeed, + that they had reached her lodging. He could only utter a vague + “Goodnight,” after her, formulating more definite statements to himself a + few minutes later, in Bentinck Street. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI + </h2> + <p> + Miss Howe was walking in the business quarter of Calcutta. It was the + business quarter, yet the air was gay with the dimpling of piano notes, + and looking up one saw the bright sunlight fall on yellow stuccoed flats + above the shops and the offices. There the pleasant north wind blew + banners of muslin curtains out of wide windows, and little gardens of + palms in pots showed behind the balustrades of the flat roofs whenever a + storey ran short. Everywhere was a subtle contagion of momentary + well-being, a sense of lifted burden. The stucco streets were too slovenly + to be purely joyous, but a warm satisfaction brooded in them, the pariahs + blinked at one genially, there was a note of cheer even in the cheeling of + the kites where they sat huddled on the roof-cornices or circled against + the high blue sky. It was enjoyable to be abroad, in the brushing + fellowship of the pavements, in touch with brown humility half-clad and + going afoot, since even brown humility seemed well affected toward the + world, alert and content. The air was full of the comfortable flavour of + food-stuffs and spiced luxuries, and the incense of wayside trees; it was + as if the sun laid a bland compelling hand upon the city, bidding strange + flowers bloom and strange fruits increase. Brokers' gharries rattled past, + each holding a pale young man preoccupied with a notebook; where the + bullock-carts gathered themselves together and blocked the road the pale + young men put excited heads out of the gharry windows and used remarkable + imprecations. One of them, as Hilda turned into the compound of the + Calcutta Chronicle, leaned out to take off his hat, and sent her up to the + office of that journal in the pleasant reflection of his infinite interest + in life. “Upon my word,” she said to herself as she ascended the stairs + behind the lean legs of a Mussulman servant in a dirty shirt and an + embroidered cap, “he's so lighthearted, so genial, that one doubts the + very tremendous effect even of a failure like the one he contemplates.” + </p> + <p> + She sent her card in to the manager-sahib by the lean Mussulman, and + followed it past the desks of two or three Bengali clerks, who hardly + lifted their well-oiled heads from their account-books to look at her—so + many mem sahibs to whose enterprises the Chronicle gave prominence came to + see the manager-sahib, and they were so much alike. At all events they + carried a passport to indifference in the fact that they all wanted + something, and it was clear to the meanest intelligence that they appeared + to be more magnificent than they were, visions in dazzling complexions and + long kid gloves, rattling up in third-class ticca-gharries, with a wisp of + fodder clinging to their skirts. It was less interesting still when they + belonged to the other class, the shabby ladies, nearly always in black, + with husbands in the Small Cause Court, or sons before the police + magistrate, who came to get it, if possible, “kept out of the paper.” + Successful or not these always wept on their way out, and nothing could be + more depressing. The only gleam of entertainment to be got out of a lady + visitor to the manager-sahib occurred when the female form enshrined the + majestic personality of a boarding-house madam, whose asylum for + respectable young men in leading Calcutta firms had been maliciously + traduced in the local columns of the Chronicle—a lady who had never + known what a bailiff looked like in the lifetime of her first husband, or + her second either. Then at the sound of a pudgy blow upon a table, or high + abusive accents in the rapid elaborate cadences of the domiciled East + Indian tongue, Hari Babu would glance at Gobind Babu with a careful smile, + for the manager-sahib who dispensed so much galli* was now receiving the + same, and defenceless. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Abuse. +</pre> + <p> + The manager sat at his desk when Hilda went in. He did not rise—he + was one of those highly sagacious little Scotchmen that Dundee exports in + such large numbers to fill small posts in the East, and she had come on + business. He gave her a nod, however, and an affectionate smile, and + indicated with his blue pencil a chair on the other side of the table. He + had once made three hundred rupees in tea shares, and that gave him the + air of a capitalist and speculator gamely shrewd. Tapping the table with + his blue pencil he asked Miss Howe how the world was using HER. + </p> + <p> + “Let me see,” said Hilda, a trifle absent-mindedly, “were you here last + cold weather—I rather imagine you were, weren't you?” + </p> + <p> + “I was; I had the pleasure of—” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure. You got the place in December, when that poor fellow Baker + died. Baker was a country-bred I know, but he always kept his contracts, + while you got your po-lish in Glesca, and your name is Macphairson—isn't + it?” + </p> + <p> + “I was never in Glasgow in my life, and my name is Macandrew,” said the + manager, putting with some aggressiveness a paper-weight on a pile of + bills. + </p> + <p> + “Never mind,” said Hilda, again wrapped in thought, “don't apologise—it's + near enough. Well, Mr. Macandrew,”—her tone came to a point,—“what + is the Stanhope Company's advertisement worth a month to the Chronicle?” + </p> + <p> + “A hundred rupees maybe—there or thereabouts;” and Mr. Macandrew, + with a vast show of indifference, picked up a letter and began to tear at + the end of it. + </p> + <p> + “One hundred and fifty-five I think, to be precise. That communication + will wait, won't it? What is it—Kally Nath Mitter's paper and stores + bill? You won't be able to pay it any quicker if we withdraw our + advertisement.” + </p> + <p> + “Why should ye withdraw it?” + </p> + <p> + “It was given to you on the understanding that notices should appear of + every Wednesday and Saturday's performance. For two Wednesdays there has + been no notice, and last Saturday night you sent a fool.” + </p> + <p> + “So Muster Stanhope thinks o' withdrawin' his advertisement?” + </p> + <p> + “He is very much of that mind.” + </p> + <p> + The manager put his thumbs in the armholes of his waistcoat, leaned back + in his chair, and demonstrated the principle that had given him a gold + watch chain—“never be bluffed.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye can withdraw it,” he said, with a warily experimental eye upon her. + </p> + <p> + “How reasonable of you not to make a fuss! We'll have the order to + discontinue in writing, please. If you'll give me a pen and paper—thanks—and + I'll keep a copy.” + </p> + <p> + “Stanhope has wanted to transfer it to the Market Gazette for some time,” + she went on as she wrote. + </p> + <p> + “That's not a newspaper. You'll get no notices there.” + </p> + <p> + “Cheaper on that account, probably.” + </p> + <p> + “They charge like the very deevil. D'ye know the rates of them?” + </p> + <p> + “I can't say I do.” + </p> + <p> + “There's a man on our staff that doesn't like your show. We'll be able to + send him every night now.” + </p> + <p> + “When we withdraw our advertisement?” + </p> + <p> + “Just then.” + </p> + <p> + “All right,” said Hilda. “It will be interesting to point out in the + Indian Empire the remarkable growth of independent criticism in the + Chronicle since Mr. Stanhope no longer uses the space at his disposal. I + hope your man will be very nasty indeed. You might as well hand over the + permanent passes—the gentleman will expect, I suppose, to pay.” + </p> + <p> + “They'll be in the yeditorial department,” said Mr. Macandrew, but he did + not summon a messenger to go for them. Instead he raised his eyebrows in a + manner that expressed the necessity of making the best of it, and + humorously scratched his head. + </p> + <p> + “We have four hundred pounds of new type coming out in the Almora—she's + due on Thursday,” he said. “Entirely for the advertisements. We'll have a + fine display next week. It's grand type—none of your Calcutta-made + stuff.” + </p> + <p> + “Pays to bring it out, does it?” asked Hilda inattentively, copying her + letter. + </p> + <p> + “Pays the advertisers.” There were ingratiating qualities in the + managerial smile. Hilda inspected them coldly. + </p> + <p> + “There's your notice of withdrawal,” she said. “Good-morning.” + </p> + <p> + “Think of that new type, and how lovely Jimmy Finnigan's ad will look in + it.” + </p> + <p> + “That's all right. Good-morning.” Miss Howe approached the door, the blue + glance of Macandrew pursuant. + </p> + <p> + “No notices for two Wednesdays, eh? We'll have to see about that. I was + thinkin' of transferrin' your space to the third page; it's a more + advantageous position—and no extra charge—but ye'll not + mention it to Jimmy.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Howe lifted an arrogant chin. “Do I understand you'll do that, and + guarantee regular notices, if we leave the advertisement with you?” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Macandrew looked at her expressively, and tore, with a gesture of + moderated recklessness, the notice of withdrawal in two. + </p> + <p> + “Rest easy,” he said, “I'll see about it. I'd go the len'th of attendin' + myself to-night, if ye could spare two three extra places.” + </p> + <p> + “Moderate Macandrew!” + </p> + <p> + “Moderate enough. I've got some frien's stayin' in the same place with me + from Behar—indigo people. I was thinkin' I'd give them a treat, if + three places c'd be spared next to the Chronicle seats.” + </p> + <p> + “We do Lady Whippleton to-night and the booking's been heavy. Five is too + many, Mr. Macandrew, even if you promised not to write the notice + yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “I might pay for one;” Macandrew drew red cartwheels on his blotting-pad. + </p> + <p> + “Those seats are sure to be gone. I'll send you a box. Stanhope's as bad + as he can be with dysentery—you might make a local out of that. Be + sure to mention he can't see anybody—it's absurd the way Calcutta + people want to be paid.” + </p> + <p> + “A box'll be Grand,” said Mr. Macandrew. “I'll see ye get plenty of + ancores. Can ye manage the door? Good-day, then.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda stepped out on the landing. The heavy, regular thud of the presses + came up from below. They were printing the edition that took the world's + news to planters' bungalows in the jungle of Assam and the lonely + policeman on the edge of Manipore. The smell of the newspaper of to-day + and of yesterday, and of a year ago, stood in the air; through an open + door she saw the dusty, uneven edges of files of them, piled on the floor. + Three or four messengers squatted beside the wall, with slumbrous heads + between their knees. Occasionally a shout came from the room inside, and + one of them, crying “Hazur!” with instant alacrity, stretched himself + mightily, loafed upon his feet and went in, emerging a moment later + carrying written sheets, with which he disappeared into the regions below. + The staircase took a lazy curve and went up; under it, through an open + window, the sun glistened upon the shifting white and green leaves of a + pipal tree, and a crow sat on the sill and thrust his grey head in with + caws of indignant expostulation. A Government peon in scarlet and gold + ascended the stair at his own pace, bearing a packet with an official + seal. The place, with its ink-smeared walls and high ceilings, spoke + between dusty yawns of the languor and the leisure which might attend the + manipulation of the business of life, and Hilda paused for an instant to + perceive what it said. Then she walked behind her card into the next room, + where a young gentleman, reading proofs in his shirt sleeves, flung + himself upon his coat and struggled into it at her approach. He seemed to + have the blackest hair and the softest eyes and the neatest moustache + available, all set in a complexion frankly olive, amiable English cut, in + amiable Oriental colour, and the whole illumined, when once the coat was + on and the collar perfectly turned down, by the liveliest, most engaging + smile. Standing with his head slightly on one side and one hand resting on + the table, while the other saw that nothing was disarranged between collar + and top waistcoat button, he was an interjection point of invitation and + attention. + </p> + <p> + “The Editor of the Chronicle?” Hilda asked with diffident dignity, and + very well informed to the contrary. + </p> + <p> + “NOT the editor—I am sorry to say.” The confession was delightfully + vivid—in the plenitude of his candour it was plain that he didn't + care who knew that he was sorry he was not the editor. “In journalistic + parlance, the sub editor,” he added. “Will you be seated, Miss Howe?” and + with a tasteful silk pocket handkerchief he whisked the bottom of a chair + for her. + </p> + <p> + “Then you are Mr. Molyneux Sinclair,” Hilda declared. “You have been + pointed out to me on several first nights. Oh, I know very well where the + Chronicle seats are!” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Sinclair bowed with infinite gratification, and tucked the silk + handkerchief back so that only a fold was visible. “We members of the + Fourth Estate are fairly well known, I'm afraid, in Calcutta,” he said. + “Personally, I could sometimes wish it were otherwise. But certainly not + in this instance.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda gave him a gay little smile. “I suppose the editor,” she said, with + a casual glance about the room, “is hammering out his leader for + to-morrow's paper. Does he write half and do you write half, or how do you + manage?” + </p> + <p> + A seriousness overspread Mr. Sinclair's countenance, which nevertheless + irradiated, as if he could not help it, with beaming eyes. “Ah, those are + the secrets of the prison-house, Miss Howe. Unfortunately it is not + etiquette for me to say in what proportion I contribute the leading + articles of the Chronicle. But I can tell you in confidence that if it + were not for the editor's prejudices—rank prejudices—it would + be a good deal larger.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, his prejudices! Why not be quite frank, Mr. Sinclair, and say that he + is just a little tiny bit jealous of his staff. All editors are, you + know.” Miss Howe shook her head in philosophical deprecation of the + peccadillo, and Mr. Sinclair cast a smiling, embarrassed glance at his + smart brown leather boot. The glance was radiant with what he couldn't + tell her as a sub-editor of honour about those cruel prejudices, but he + gave it no other medium. + </p> + <p> + “I'm afraid you know the world, Miss Howe,” he said, with a noble reserve, + and that was all. + </p> + <p> + “A corner of it here and there. But you are responsible for the whole of + the dramatic criticism,”—Hilda charged him roundly,—“the + editor can't claim any of THAT.” + </p> + <p> + An inquiring brown face under an embroidered cap appeared at the door; a + brown hand thrust in a bunch of printed slips. Mr. Sinclair motioned both + away, and they vanished in silence. + </p> + <p> + “That I can't deny,” he said. “It would be useless if I wished to do so—my + style betrays me—I must plead guilty. It is not one of my legitimate + duties—if I held this position on the Times, or say the Daily + Telegraph, our London contemporaries, it would not be required of me. But + in this country everything is piled upon the sub-editor. Many a night, + Miss Howe, I send down the last slips of a theatre notice at midnight and + am here in this chair”—Mr. Sinclair brought his open palm down upon + the arm of it—“by eleven the following day!” Mr. Sinclair's chin was + thrust passionately forward, moisture dimmed the velvety brightness of + those eyes which, in more dramatic moments, he confessed to have inherited + from a Nawab great-grandfather. “But I don't complain,” he said, and drew + in his chin. It seemed to bring his argument to a climax, over which he + looked at Hilda in warm, frank expansion. + </p> + <p> + “Overworked, too, I daresay,” she said, and then went on a trifle + hurriedly. “Well, I must tell you, Mr. Sinclair, how kind your criticism + always is, and how much I personally appreciate it. None of the little + points and effects one tries to make seem to escape you, and you are + always generous in the matter of space too.” + </p> + <p> + Molyneux impartially threw out his hand. “I believe in it!” he exclaimed. + “Honour where honour is due, Miss Howe, and the Stanhope Company has given + me some very enjoyable evenings. And you'll hardly believe me, but it is a + fact, I assure you, I seldom get a free hand with those notices. Suicidal + to the interests of the paper as it is, the editor insists as often as not + on cutting down my theatre copy!” + </p> + <p> + “Cuts it down, does he? The brute!” said Miss Howe. + </p> + <p> + “I've known him sacrifice a third of it for an indigo market report. Now, + I ask you, who reads an indigo market report? Nobody. Who wants to know + how Jimmy Finnigan's—how the Stanhope Company's latest novelties + went off? Everybody. Of course, when he does that sort of thing, I make it + warm for him next morning?” + </p> + <p> + The door again opened and admitted a harassed little Babu in spectacles, + bearing a sheaf of proof slips, who advanced timidly into the middle of + the room and paused. + </p> + <p> + “In a few minutes, Babu,” said Mr. Sinclair; “I am engaged.” + </p> + <p> + “It iss the Council isspeech of the Legal Member, sir, and it iss to go at + five p.m. to his house for last correction.” + </p> + <p> + “Presently, Babu. Don't interrupt. As I was saying, Miss Howe, I make it + warm for him till he apologises. I must say he always apologises, and I + don't often ask more than that. But I was obliged to tell him the last + time that if it happened again one of us would have to go.” + </p> + <p> + “What did he say to that?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't exactly remember. But it had a tremendous effect—tremendous. + We became good friends almost immediately.” + </p> + <p> + “Quite so. We miss you when you don't come, Mr. Sinclair—last + Saturday night, for example.” + </p> + <p> + “I HAD to go to the Surprise Party. Jimmy came here with tears in his eyes + that morning. 'My show is tumbling to pieces,' he said. 'Sinclair, you've + got to come to-night.' Made me dine with him—wouldn't let me out of + his sight. We had to send a reporter to you and Llewellyn that night.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Sinclair, the notice made me weep.” + </p> + <p> + “I know. All that about the costumes. But what can you expect? The man is + as black as your hat.” + </p> + <p> + “We have to buy our own costumes,” said Hilda, with a glance at the floor, + “and we haven't any too much, you know, to do it on.” + </p> + <p> + “The toilets in Her Second Son were simply magnificent. Not to be + surpassed on the boards of the Lyceum in tasteful design or richness of + material. They were ne plus ultra!” cried Mr. Sinclair. “You will remember + I said so in my critique.” + </p> + <p> + “I remember. If I were you I wouldn't go so far another time. There's a + lot of cotton velvet and satin about it, you know, between ourselves, and + Finnigan's people will be getting the laugh on us. That's one of the + things I wanted to mention. Don't be quite so good to us. See? Otherwise—well, + you know how Calcutta talks, and what a pretty girl Beryl Stace is, for + example. Mrs. Sinclair mightn't like it, and I don't blame her.” + </p> + <p> + “As I said before, Miss Howe, you know the world,” Mr. Sinclair replied, + with infinite mellow humour, and as Miss Howe had risen he rose too, + pulling down his waistcoat. + </p> + <p> + “There was just one other thing,” Hilda said, holding out her hand. “Next + Wednesday, you know, Rosa Norton takes her benefit. Rosy's as well known + here as the Ochterlony monument; she's been coming every cold weather for + ten years, poor old Rosy. Don't you think you could do her a bit of an + interview for Wednesday's paper? She'll write up very well—get her + on variety entertainments in the Australian bush.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Molyneux Sinclair looked pained to hesitate. “Personally,” he said + confidentially, “I should like it immensely, and I daresay I could get it + past the editor. But we're so short-handed.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Howe held up a forefinger which seemed luminous with solution. “Don't + you bother,” she said, “I'll do it for you; I'll write it myself. My + 'prentice hand I'll try on Rosy, and you shall have the result ready to + print on Tuesday morning. Will that do?” + </p> + <p> + That would do supremely. Mr. Sinclair could not conceal the admiration he + felt for such a combination of talents. He did not try; he accompanied it + to the door, expanding and expanding until it seemed more than ever + obvious that he found the sub-editorial sphere unreasonably contracted. + Hilda received his final bow from the threshold of what he called his + “sanctum,” and had hardly left the landing in descent when a + square-headed, collarless, red-faced male in shirt sleeves came down, + descending, as it seemed, in bounds from parts above. “Damn it, Sinclair!” + she heard, as he shot into the apartment she had left, “here's the whole + council meeting report set up and waiting three-quarters of an hour—press + blocked; and the printer Babu says he can get nothing out of you. What the + devil.... If the dak's* missed again, by thunder!... paid to converse with + itinerant females... seven columns... infernal idiocy....” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * Country post. +</pre> + <p> + Hilda descended in safety and at leisure, reflecting with amusement as she + made her way down that Mr. Sinclair was doubtless waiting until his lady + visitor was well out of earshot to make it warm for the editor. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII + </h2> + <p> + I find myself wondering whether Calcutta would have found anything very + exquisitely amusing in the satisfactions which exchanged themselves + between Mr. Llewellyn Stanhope's leading lady and the Reverend Stephen + Arnold, had it been aware of them; and I conclude reluctantly that it + would not. Reluctantly, because such imperviousness argues a lack of + perception, of flair in directions which any Continental centre would + recognise as vastly tickling, regrettable in a capital of such vaunted + sophistication as that which sits beside the Hooghly. It may as well be + shortly admitted, however, that to stir Calcutta's sense of comedy you + must, for example, attempt to corner, by shortsightedness or faulty + technical equipment, a civet cat in a jackal hunt, or, coming out from + England to assume official duties, you must take a larger view of your + dignities than the clubs are accustomed to admit. For the sex that does + not hunt jackals it is easier—you have only to be a little frivolous + and Calcutta will invent for you the most side-shaking nickname, as in the + case of three ladies known in a viceroyalty of happy legend as the World, + the Flesh, and the Devil. I should be sorry to give the impression that + Calcutta is therefore a place of gloom. The source of these things is + perennial, and the noise of laughter is ever in the air of the Indian + capital. Between the explosions, however, it is natural enough that the + affairs of a priest of College Street and an actress of no address at all + should slip unnoticed, especially as they did not advertise it. Stephen + mostly came, on afternoons when there was no rehearsal, to tea. He, + Stephen, had a perception of contrasts which answered fairly well the + purposes of a sense of humour, and nobody could question hers; it operated + obscurely to keep them in the house. + </p> + <p> + She told him buoyantly once or twice that he had been sent to her to take + the place of Duff Lindsay, who had fallen to the snare of beauty; although + she mentioned to herself that he took it with a difference, a vast + temperamental difference which she was aware of not having yet quite + sounded. The depths of his faith of course—there she could only scan + and hesitate, but this was a brink upon which she did not often find + herself, away from which, indeed, he sometimes gently guided her. The + atmospheres of their talk were the more bracing ones of this world, and it + was here that Hilda looked when she would make him a parallel for Lindsay, + and here that she found her measure of disappointment. He warmed himself + and dried his wings in the opulence of her spirit, and she was not on the + whole the poorer by any exchange they made, but she was sometimes pricked + to the reflection that the freemasonry between them was all hers, and the + things she said to him had still the flavour of adventure. She found + herself inclined—and the experience was new—to make an effort + for a reward which was problematical and had to be considered in averages, + a reward put out in a thin and hesitating hand under a sacerdotal robe, + with a curious concentrated quality, and a strange flavour of incense and + the air of cold churches. There was also the impression—was it too + fantastic?—of words carried over a medium, an invisible wire which + brought the soul of them and left the body by the way. Duff Lindsay, so + eminently responsive and calculable, came running with open arms; in his + rejoiceful eye-beam one saw almost a midwife to one's idea. But the + comparison was irritating, and after a time she turned from it. She awoke + once in the night, moreover, to declare to the stars that she was less + worried by the consideration of Arnold's sex than she would have thought + it possible to be—one hardly paused to consider that he was a man at + all; a reflection which would certainly not have occurred to her about + poor dear Duff. With regard to Stephen Arnold, it was only, of course, + another way of saying that she was less oppressed, in his company, by the + consideration of her own. Perhaps it is already evident that this was her + grievance with life, when the joy of it left her time to think of a + grievance, the attraction of her personal lines, the reason of the hundred + fetiches her body claimed of her and found her willing to perform, the + fact that it meant more to her, for all her theories, that she should be + looking her best when she got up in the morning than was justifiable from + any point of view except the biological. She had no heroic quarrel with + these conditions—her experience had not been upon that plane—but + she bemoaned them with sincerity as too fundamental, too all pervading; + one came upon them at every turn, grinning in their pretty chains. It was + absurd, she construed, that a world of mankind and woman kind with vastly + interesting possibilities should be so essentially subjected. So + primitive, it was, she argued in her vivid candour, and so interfering—so + horribly interfering! Personally she did not see herself one of the + fugitive half of the race; she had her defences; but the necessity of + using them was matter for complaint when existence might have been so + delightful a boon without it, full of affinities and communities in every + direction. She had not, I am convinced, any of the notions of a crusader + upon this popular subject, nor may I portray her either shocked or + revolted, only rather bored, being a creature whom it was unkind to + hamper; and she would have explained quite in these simple terms the + reason why Stephen Arnold's saving neutrality of temperament was to her a + pervasive charm of his society. + </p> + <p> + She had not yet felt at liberty to tell him that she could not classify + him, that she had never known anyone like him before; and there was in + this no doubt a vague perception that the confession showed a limitation + of experience on her part for which he might be inclined to call her to + account; since cultured young Oxonians with an altruistic bias, if they do + not exactly abound, are still often enough to be discovered if one happens + to belong to the sphere which they haunt, they and their ideals. Not that + any such consideration led her to gloss or to minimise the disabilities of + her own. She sat sometimes in gravest wonder, pinching her lips, and + watched the studiously modified interest of his glance following her into + its queer byways—her sphere's—full of spangles and limelight, + and the first-class hysteria of third-class rival artistry. There was a + fascination in bringing him out of his remoteness near to those things, a + speculation worth making as to what he might do. This remained + ungratified, for he never did anything. He only let it appear by the most + indefinite signs possible, that he saw what she saw, peering over his + paling, and she in the picturesque tangle outside found it enough. + </p> + <p> + He was there when she came back from the Chronicle office, patient under + the blue umbrellas; he had brought her a book, and they had told him she + would not be long in returning. He had gone so far as to order tea for + her, and it was waiting with him. “Make it,” she commanded; “why haven't + you had some already?” and while he bent over the battered Britannia metal + spout she sank into the nearest seat and let her hat make a frame for her + face against the back of it. She was too tired, she said, to move, and her + hands lay extended, one upon each arm of her chair, with the air of being + left there to be picked up at her convenience. Arnold, over the teapot, + agreed that walking in Calcutta was an insidious pleasure—one + gathered a lassitude—and brought her cup. She looked at him for an + instant as she took it. + </p> + <p> + “But I am not too tired to hear what you have on your mind,” she said. + “Have Kally Nath Mitter's relations prevailed over his convictions? Won't + your landlord let you have your oratory on the roof after all?” + </p> + <p> + “You get these things so out of perspective,” Stephen said, “that I don't + think I should tell you if they were so. But they're not. Kally Nath is to + be baptized to-morrow. We are certain to get our oratory.” + </p> + <p> + “I am very glad,” Hilda interrupted. “When one prays for so long a time + together it must be better to have fresh air. It will certainly be better + for Brother Colquhoun. He seems to have such a weak chest.” + </p> + <p> + “It will be better for us all.” Arnold seemed to reflect, across his + teacup, how much better it would be. Then he added, “I saw Lindsay last + night.” + </p> + <p> + “Again? And—” + </p> + <p> + “I think it is perfectly hopeless. I think he is making way.” + </p> + <p> + “Sickening! I hoped you would not speak to him again. After all—another + man—it's naturally of no use!” + </p> + <p> + “I spoke as a priest!” + </p> + <p> + “Did he swear at you?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh dear no! He was rather sympathetic. And I went very far. But I could + get him to see nothing—to feel nothing.” + </p> + <p> + “How far did you go?” + </p> + <p> + “I told him that she was consecrated, that he proposed to commit + sacrilege. He seemed to think he could make it up to her.” + </p> + <p> + “If anyone else had said that to me I should have laughed—you don't + suspect the irony in it” Hilda said. “Pray who is to make it up to him?” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose there is that point of view.” + </p> + <p> + “I should think so, indeed! But taking it, I despair with you. I had her + here the other day and tried to make the substance of her appear before + him. I succeeded too—he gave me the most uncomfortable looks—but + I might as well have let it alone. The great end of nature,” Hilda went + on, putting down her cup, “reasonable beings in their normal state would + never lend themselves to. So she invents these temporary insanities. And + therein is nature cruel, for they might just as well be permanent. That's + a platitude, I know,” she added, “but it's irresistibly suggested.” + </p> + <p> + Stephen looked with some fixedness at a point on the other side of the + room. The platitude brought him, by some process of inversion, the vision + of a drawing-room in Addison Gardens, occupied by his mother and sisters, + engaged with whatever may be Kensington's substitutes at the moment for + the spinet and the tambour frame; and he had a disturbed sense that they + might characterise such a statement differently, if, indeed, they would + consent to characterise it at all. He looked at the wall as if, being a + solid and steadfast object, it might correct the qualm—it was really + something like that—which the wide sweep of her cynicism brought + him. + </p> + <p> + “From what he told me last week I thought we shouldn't see it. He seemed + determined enough but depressed, and not hopeful. I fancied she was being + upheld—I thought she would easily pull through. Indeed, I wasn't + sure that there was any great temptation. Somebody must be helping him.” + </p> + <p> + “The devil, no doubt,” Hilda replied concisely; “and with equal certainty, + Miss Alicia Livingstone.” + </p> + <p> + Arnold gave her a look of surprise. “Surely not my cousin!” he protested. + “She can't understand.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I beg of you, don't speak to HER! I think she understands. I think + she's only too tortuously intelligent.” + </p> + <p> + Stephen kept an instant of nervous silence. “May I ask?—” he began, + formally. + </p> + <p> + “Oh yes! It is almost an indecent thing to say of anyone so exquisitely + self-contained, but your cousin is very much in love with Mr. Lindsay + herself. It seems almost a liberty, doesn't it, to tell you such a thing + about a member of your family?” she went on, at Arnold's blush; “but you + asked me, you know. And she is making it her ecstatic agony to bring this + precious union about. I think she is taking a kindergarten method with the + girl—having her there constantly and showing her little scented, + luxurious bits of what she is so possessed to throw away. People in + Alicia's condition have no sense of immorality.” + </p> + <p> + “That makes it all the more painful,” said Arnold; but the interest in his + tone was a little remote, and his gesture, too, which was not quite a + shrug, had a relegating effect upon any complication between Alicia and + Lindsay. He sat for a moment without saying more, covering his eyes with + his hand. + </p> + <p> + “Why should you care so much?” Hilda asked gently. “You are at the very + antipodes of her sect. You can't endorse her methods—you don't trust + her results.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, all that! It's of the least consequence.” He spoke with a curious, + governed impulse coming from beneath his shaded eyes. “It's seeing another + ideal pulled down, gone under, something that held, as best it could, a + ray from the source. It's another glimpse of the strength of the tide—terrible. + It's a cruel hint that one lives above it in the heaven of one's own + hopes, by some mere blind accident. To have set one's feeble hand to the + spiritualising of the world and to feel the possibility of that—” + </p> + <p> + “I see,” said Hilda, and perhaps she did. But his words oppressed her. She + got up with a movement which almost shook them off, and went to a + promiscuous looking-glass to remove her hat. She was refreshed and + vivified—she wanted to talk of the warm world. She let a decent + interval elapse, however; she waited till he took his hand from his eyes. + Even then, to make the transition easier, she said, “You ought to be + lifted up to-day, if you are going to baptize Kally Nath to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + “The Brother Superior will do it. And I don't know—I don't know. The + young woman he is to marry withdraws, I believe, if he comes over to us—” + </p> + <p> + “The, young woman he is to marry! Oh my dear and reverend friend! Avec ces + gens la! I have had a most amusing afternoon,” she went on quickly. “I + have taken off my hat, now let me remove your halo.” She was safe with her + conceit; Arnold would always smile at any imputation of saintship. He held + himself a person of broad indulgences, and would point openly to his + consumption of tea-cakes. But this afternoon a miasma hung over him. Hilda + saw it, and bent herself, with her graphic recital, to dispel it, + perceived it thicken and settle down upon him, and went bravely on to the + end. Mr. Macandrew and Mr. Molyneux Sinclair lived and spoke before him. + It was comedy enough, in essence, to spread over a matinee. + </p> + <p> + “And that is the sort of thing you store up and value,” he said, when she + had finished. “These persons will add to your knowledge of life?” + </p> + <p> + “Extremely,” she replied to all of it. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose they will in their measure. But personally I could wish you had + not gone. Your work has no right to make such demands.” + </p> + <p> + “Be reasonable,” she said, flushing. “Don't talk as if personal dignity + were within the reach of everybody. It's the most expensive of privileges. + And nothing to be so very proud of—generally the product of somebody + else's humiliations, handed down. But the humiliations must have been + successful, handed down in cash. My father drove a cab and died in debt. + His name was Cassidy. I shall be dignified some day—some day! But + you see I must make it possible myself, since nobody has done it for me.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, I'll alter my complaint. Why should you play with your + sincerity?” + </p> + <p> + “I didn't play with it,” she flashed; “I abandoned it. I am an actress.” + </p> + <p> + They often permitted themselves such candours; to all appearance their + discussion had its usual equable quality, and I am certain that Arnold was + not even aware of the tension upon his nerves. He fidgeted with the tassel + of his ceinture, and she watched his moving fingers. Presently she spoke + quietly, in a different key. + </p> + <p> + “I sometimes think,” she said, “of a child I knew, in the other years. She + had the simplest nature, the finest instincts. Her impulses, within her + small limits, were noble—she was the keenest, loyalest little + person; her admirations rather made a fool of her. When I look at the + woman she is now I think the uses of life are hard, my friend—they + are hard.” + </p> + <p> + He missed the personal note; he took what she said on its merits as an + illustration. + </p> + <p> + “And yet,” he replied, “they can be turned to admirable purpose.” + </p> + <p> + “I wonder!” Hilda exclaimed brightly. She had turned down the leaf of that + mood. “But we are not cheerful—let us be cheerful. For my part I am + rejoicing as I have not rejoiced since the first of December. Look at + this!” + </p> + <p> + She opened a small black leather bag, and poured money out of it, in notes + and currency, into her lap. + </p> + <p> + “Is it a legacy?” + </p> + <p> + “It's pay,” she cried, with pleasure dimpling about her lips. “I have been + paid—we have all been paid! It's so unusual—it makes me feel + quite generous. Let me see. I'll give you this, and this, and this,”—she + counted into her open palm ten silver rupees,—“all those I will give + you for your mission. Prends!” and she clinked them together and held them + out to him. + </p> + <p> + He had risen to go, and his face looked grey and small. Something in him + had mutinied at the levity, the quick change of her mood. He could only + draw into his shell; doubtless he thought that a legitimate and + inoffensive proceeding. + </p> + <p> + “Thanks, no,” he said, “I think not. We desire people's prayers, rather + than their alms.” + </p> + <p> + He went away immediately, and she glossed over his scandalous behaviour, + and said farewell to him as she always did, in spite of the unusual look + of consciousness in her eyes. She continued to hold the ten rupees + carefully and separately, as if she would later examine them in diagnosing + her pain. It was keener and profounder than any humiliation, the new + voice, crying out, of a trampled tenderness. She stood and looked after + him for a moment with startled eyes and her hand, in a familiar gesture of + her profession, upon her heart. Then she went to her room, and + deliberately loosened her garments and lay down upon her bed, first to sob + like that little child she remembered, and afterwards to think, until the + world came and knocked at her door and bade her come out of herself and + earn money. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII + </h2> + <p> + The compulsion which took Stephen Arnold to Crooked Lane is hardly ours to + examine. It must have been strong, since going up to Mrs. Sand involved + certain concessions, doubtless intrinsically trifling, but of exaggerated + discomfort to the mind spiritually cloistered, whatever its other + latitude. Among them was a distinctly necessary apology, difficult enough + to make to a lady of rank so superior and authority so voyant in the + Church militant, by a mere fighting soul without such straps and buttons + as might compel recognition upon equal terms. It is impossible to know how + far Stephen envisaged the visit as a duty—the priestly horizon is + perhaps not wholly free from mirage—or to what extent he confessed + it an indulgence. He was certainly aware of a stronger desire than he + could altogether account for that Captain Filbert should not desert her + post. The idea had an element of irritation oddly personal; he could not + bear to reflect upon it. It may be wondered whether in any flight of + venial imagination Arnold saw himself in a parallel situation with a lady. + I am sure he did not. It may be considered, however, that among mirages + there are unaccountable resemblances—resemblances without shape or + form. He might fix his gaze, at all events, upon the supreme argument that + those who were given to holy work, under any condition, in any degree, + should make no rededication of themselves. This had to support him as best + it could against the conviction that had Captain Filbert been Sister + Anastasia, for example, of the Baker Institution, and Ensign Sand the + Mother Superior of its Calcutta branch, it was improbable that he would + have ventured to announce his interest in the matter by his card, or in + any other way. + </p> + <p> + It was a hesitating step, therefore, that carried him up to the quarters, + and a glance of some nervous distress that made him aware, as he stood + bowing upon her threshold, clasping with both hands his soft felt hat to + his breast, that Mrs. Sand was not displeased to see him. She hastened, + indeed, to give him a chair; she said she was very glad he'd dropped in, + if he didn't mind the room being so untidy—where there were children + you could spend the whole day picking up. They were out at present, with + Captain Sand, in the perambulator, not having more servants than they + could help. A sweeper and a cook they did with; it would surprise the + people in this country, who couldn't get along with less than twenty, she + often said. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Sand's tone was casual; her manner had a quality somewhat + aggressively democratic. It said that under her welcome lay the right to + criticise, which she would have exercised with equal freedom had her + visitor been the Lord Bishop John Calcutta himself; and it made short work + of the idea that she might be over-gratified to receive Holy Orders in any + form. She was not unwilling, however, to show, as between Ensign and man, + reasonable satisfaction; presently, in fact, she went so far as to say, + still vaguely remarking upon his appearance there, that she often thought + there ought to be more sociability between the different religious bodies; + it would be better for the cause. There was nothing narrow, she said, + about her, nor yet about Captain Sand. And then, with the distinct + intimation that that would do, that she had gone far enough, she crossed + her hands in her lap and waited. It became her to have it understood that + this visit need have no further object than an exchange of amiabilities; + but there might be another, and Mrs. Sand's folded hands seemed to + indicate that she would not necessarily meet it with opposition. + </p> + <p> + Stephen made successive statements of assent. He sat grasping his hat + between his knees, his eyes fixed upon an infant's sock which lay upon the + floor immediately in front of him, looking at Mrs. Sand as seldom and as + briefly as possible, as if his glance took rather an unfair advantage, + which he would spare her. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, yes,” he said. “Yes, certainly,” revolving his hat in his hands. And + when she spoke of the fraternity that might be fostered by such visits, he + looked for an instant as if he had found an opening, which seemed, + however, to converge and vanish in Mrs. Sand's folded hands. He flushed to + think afterwards, that it was she who was obliged to bring his resolution + to a head, her scent of his embarrassment sharpening her curiosity. + </p> + <p> + “And is there anything we Army officers can do for you, Mr. Arnold?” she + inquired. + </p> + <p> + There was a hint in her voice that, whatever it was, they would have done + it more willingly if she had not been obliged to ask. + </p> + <p> + “I am afraid,” he said, “my mission is not quite so simple. I could wish + it were. It is so easy to show our poor needs to one another; and I should + have confidence—” He paused, amazed at the duplicity that grinned at + him in his words. At what point more remote within the poles was he likely + to show himself with a personal request? + </p> + <p> + “I have nothing to ask for myself,” he went on, with concentration almost + harsh. “I am here to see if you will consent to speak with me about a + matter which threatens your—your community—about your possible + loss of Miss Filbert.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Sand looked blank. “The Captain isn't leavin' us, as far as I know,” + she said. + </p> + <p> + “Oh—is it possible that you are not aware that—that very + strong efforts are being made to induce her to do so?” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Sand looked about her as if she expected to find an explanation lying + somewhere near her chair. Light came to her suddenly, and brought her a + conscious smile; it only lacked force to be a giggle. She glanced at her + lap as she smiled; her air was deprecating and off-putting, as if she had + detected in what Arnold said some suggestion of a gallant nature aimed at + herself. Happily, he was not looking. + </p> + <p> + “You mean Mr. Lindsay!” she exclaimed, twisting her wedding-ring and its + coral guard. + </p> + <p> + “I hope—I beg—that you will not think me meddlesome or + impertinent. I have the matter very much at heart. It seems to lie in my + path. I must see it. Surely you perceive some way of averting the disaster + in it!” + </p> + <p> + “I'm sure I don't know what you refer to.” Mrs. Sand's tone was prudish + and offended. “She hasn't said a word to me—she's a great one for + keeping things to herself—but if Mr. Lindsay don't mean marriage + with her—” + </p> + <p> + “Why, of course!” Arnold, startled, turned furiously red, but Mrs. Sand in + her indignation did not reflect the tint. “Of course! Is not that,” he + went on after an instant's pause, “precisely what is to be lamented—and + prevented?” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Sand looked at her visitor with dry suspicion. “I suppose you are a + friend of his,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “I have known him for years. Pray don't misunderstand me. There is nothing + against him—nothing whatever.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I don't suppose there is, except that he is not on the Lord's side. + But I don't expect any of his friends are anxious for him to marry an + officer in the Salvation Army. Society people ain't fond of the Army, and + never will be.” + </p> + <p> + “His people—he has only distant relatives living—are all at + home,” Stephen said vaguely. The situation had become slightly confused. + </p> + <p> + “Then you speak for them, I suppose?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed not. I am in no communication with them whatever. I fancy they + know nothing about it. I am here entirely—ENTIRELY of my own accord. + I have come to place myself at your disposition if there is anything I can + do, any word I can say, to the end of preventing this catastrophe in a + spiritual life so pure and devoted; to ask you at all events to let me + join my prayers to yours that it shall not come about.” + </p> + <p> + The squalor of the room seemed to lift before his eyes and be suffused + with light. At last he had made himself plain. But Mrs. Sand was not + transfigured. She seemed to sit, with her hands folded, in the midst of a + calculation. + </p> + <p> + “Then he HAS put the question. I told her he would,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “I believe he has asked her to marry him and she has refused, more than + once. But he is importunate, and I hear she needs help.” + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Lindsay,” said Mrs. Sand, “is a very takin' young man.” + </p> + <p> + “I suppose we must consider that. There is position too, and wealth. These + things count—we are all so human—even against the Divine + realities into possession of which Miss Filbert must have so perfectly + entered.” + </p> + <p> + “I thought he must be pretty well off. Would he be one of them Government + officials?” + </p> + <p> + “He is a broker.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, is he indeed?” Mrs. Sand's enlightenment was evidently doubtful. + “Well, if they get married Captain Filbert 'll have to resign. It's + against the regulations for her to marry outside of the Army.” + </p> + <p> + “But is she not vowed to her work; isn't her life turned for ever into + that channel? Would it not be horrible to you to see the world interfere?” + </p> + <p> + “I won't say but what I'd be sorry to see her leave us. But I wouldn't + stand in her way either, and neither would Captain Sand.” + </p> + <p> + “Stand in her way! In her way to material luxury, poverty of spirit, the + shirking of all the high alternatives, the common moral mediocrity of the + world. I would to God I could be that stumbling block! I have heard her—I + have seen the light in her that may so possibly be extinguished.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't deny she has a kind of platform gift, but she's losin' her voice. + And she doesn't understand briskin' people up, if you know what I mean.” + </p> + <p> + “She will be pulled down—she will go under!” Arnold repeated in the + depths of his spirit. He stood up, fumbling with his hat. Mrs. Sand and + her apartment, her children out of doors in the perambulator, and the + whole organisation to which she appertained had grown oppressive and + unnecessary. He was aware of a desire to put his foot again in his own + world, where things were seen, were understood. He thought there might be + solace in relating the affair to Brother Colquhoun. + </p> + <p> + “It's a case,” said Mrs. Sand judicially, “where I wouldn't think myself + called on to say one word. Such things everyone has a right to decide for + themselves. But you oughtn't to forget that a married woman”—she + looked at Arnold's celibate habit as if to hold it accountable for much—“can + have a great influence for good over him that she chooses. I am pretty + sure Captain Filbert's already got Mr. Lindsay almost persuaded. I + shouldn't be at all surprised if he joined the Army himself when she's had + a good chance at him.” + </p> + <p> + Arnold put on his hat with a groan, and began the descent of the stairs. + “Good-afternoon then,” Mrs. Sand called out to him from the top. He turned + mechanically and bared his head. “I beg your pardon,” he said. + “Good-afternoon.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV + </h2> + <p> + Mrs. Sand found it difficult to make up her mind upon several points + touching the visit of the Reverend Stephen Arnold. Its purport, of which + she could not deny her vague appreciation, drew a cloud across a rosy + prospect, and in this light his conduct showed unpardonable; on the other + hand it implied a compliment to the corps, it made the spiritual position + of an officer of the Army, a junior too, a matter of moment in a wider + world than might be suspected; and before this consideration Mrs. Sand + expanded. She reflected liberally that salvation was not necessarily + frustrated by the laying-on of hands; she had serene fancies of a republic + of the redeemed. She was a prey to further hesitations regarding the + expediency of mentioning the interview to Laura, and as private and + confidential it ministered for two days to her satisfactions of superior + officer. In the end, however, she had to sacrifice it to the girl's + imperturbable silence. She chose an intimate and a private hour, and shut + the door carefully upon herself and her captain, but she had not at all + decided, when she sat down on the edge of the bed, what complexion to give + to the matter, nor had she a very definite idea, when she got up again, of + what complexion she had given it. Laura, from the first word, had upset + her by an intense eagerness, a determination not to lose a syllable. + Captain Filbert insisted upon hearing all before she would acknowledge + anything; she hung upon the sentences Mrs. Sand repeated, and joined them + together as if they were parts of a puzzle; she finally had possession of + the conversation much as I have already written it down. As Mrs. Sand + afterward told her husband, Miss Filbert sat there growing whiter and + whiter, more and more worked up, and it was impossible to take any comfort + in talking to her. It seemed as if she, the Ensign, might save herself the + trouble of giving an opinion one way or the other, and not a thing could + she get the girl to say except that it was true enough that the gentleman + wanted to marry her, and she was ashamed of having let it go so far. But + she would never do it—never! She declared she would write to this + Mr. Arnold and thank him, and ask him to pray for her, “and she as much as + ordered me to go and do the same,” concluded Mrs. Sand, with an inflection + which made its own comment upon such a subversion of discipline. + </p> + <p> + Stephen, under uncomfortable compulsion, sent Laura's letter—she did + write—to Lindsay. “I cannot allow you to be in the dark about what I + am doing in the matter,” he explained; “though if I had not this necessity + for writing you might reasonably complain of an intrusive and impertinent + letter. But I must let you know that she has appealed to me, and that as + far as I can I will help her.” + </p> + <p> + Duff read both communications—Laura's to the priest was brief and + very technical—between the business quarters of Ralli Brothers and + the Delhi and London Bank, with his feet in the opposite seat of his + office-gharry and his forehead puckered by an immediate calculation + forward in rupee paper. His irritation spoiled his transaction—there + was a distinct edge in the manager's manner when they parted, and it was + perhaps a pardonable weakness that led him to dash in blue pencil across + the page covered with Arnold's minute handwriting, “Then you have done + with pasty compromises—you have gone over to the Jesuits. I + congratulate you,” and readdressed the envelope to College Street. The + brown tide of the crowd brought him an instant messenger, and he stood in + the doorway for a moment afterwards frowning upon the yellow turbans that + swung along in the sunlight against the white wall opposite, across the + narrow commercial road. The flame of his indignation set forth his + features with definiteness and relief, consuming altogether the soft + amused well-being which was nearly always there. His lips set themselves + together, and Mrs. Sand would have been encouraged in any scheme of + practical utility by the lines that came about his mouth. A brother in + finance of some astuteness, who saw him scramble into his gharry, divined + that with regard to a weighty matter in jute mill shares pending, Lindsay + had decided upon a coup, and made his arrangements accordingly. He also + went upon his way with a fresh impression of Lindsay's undeniable good + looks, as sometimes in a coin new from the mint one is struck with the + beauty of a die dulled by use and familiarity. + </p> + <p> + Stephen Arnold, receiving his answer, composed himself to feel distress, + but when he had read it, that emotion was lightened in him by another + sentiment. + </p> + <p> + “A community admirable in many ways,” he murmured, refolding the page. + “Does he think he is insulting me?” + </p> + <p> + Whatever degree of influence, Jesuitical or other, Lindsay was inclined to + concede to Stephen's intermediary, he was compelled to recognise without + delay that Captain Filbert, in the exercise of her profession, had not + neglected to acquire a knowledge of defensive operations. She retired + effectively, the quarters in Crooked Lane became her fortified retreat, + whence she issued only under escort and upon service strictly obligatory. + Succour from Arnold doubtless reached her by the post; and Lindsay felt it + an anomaly in military tactics that the same agency should bring back upon + him with a horrid recoil the letters with which he strove to assault her + position. Nor could Alicia induce any sortie to Middleton Street. Her + notes of invitation to quiet teas and luncheons were answered on + blue-lined paper, the pen dipped in reticence and the palest ink, always + with the negative of a formal excuse. They loosed the burden of her + complicity from Miss Livingstone's shoulders, these notes which bore so + much the atmosphere of Crooked Lane, and at the same time they formed the + indictment against her which was, perhaps, best calculated to weigh upon + her conscience. She saw it, holding them at arm's length, in enormous + characters that ever stamped and blotted out the careful, taught-looking + writing, and the invariable “God bless you, yours truly,” at the end. They + were all there, aridly complete, the limitations of the lady to whom she + was helping Lindsay to bind himself without a gleam of possibility of + escape or a rift through which tiniest hope could creep, to emerge smiling + upon the other side. When she saw him, in fatalistic reverie, going about + ten years hence attached to the body of this petrification, she was almost + disposed to abandon the pair, to let them take their wretched chance. But + this was a climax which did not occur often; she returned, in most of her + waking moments, to devising schemes by which Laura might be delivered into + the hands she was so likely to encumber. The new French poet, the American + novelist of the year, and a work by Mr. John Morley lay upon Alicia's + table many days together for this reason. She sometimes remembered what + she expected of these volumes, what plein air sensations or what profound + plunges, and did not quite like her indifference as to whether her + expectations were fulfilled. She discovered herself intellectually jaded—there + had been tiring excursions—and took to daily rides which carried her + far out among the rice-fields, and gave her sound nights to sustain the + burden of her dreaming days. She had ideas about her situation; she + believed she lived outside of it. At all events she took a line; the new + Arab was typical, and there were other measures which she arranged + deliberately with the idea that she was making a physical fight. Life + might weigh one down with a dragging ball and chain, but one could always + measure the strength of one's pinions against these things. She made it + her sorry and remorseless task to separate from her impulses those that + she found lacking in philosophy, hinting of the foolish woman, and to turn + a cruel heel upon them. She stripped her meditations of all colour and + atmosphere; she would not accept from her grief the luxury of a rag to + wrap herself in. If this gave hers a skeleton to live with, she had what + gratification there was in observing that it was anatomically as it should + be. The result that one saw from the outside was chiefly a look of + delicate hardness, of tissue a little frayed, but showing a quality in the + process. We may hope that some unconfessed satisfaction was derivable from + her continued reception of Duff's confidences—it has long been + evident that he found her persuadable—her unflinching readiness to + consult with him; granting the analytic turn we may almost suppose it. + Starvation is so monotonous a misery that a gift of personal diagnosis + might easily lend attraction to poisoned food as an alternative, if one + may be permitted a melodramatic simile in a case which Alicia kept + conventional enough. She did not even abate the usual number of Duff's + invitations to dinner when there was certainly nothing to repay her for + regarding him across a gulf of flowers and silver, and a tide of + conversation about the season's paper-chasing, except the impoverished + complexion which people acquire who sit much in Bentinck Street, desirous + and unsatisfied. + </p> + <p> + It may very well be that she regretted her behaviour in this respect, for + it was eventually after one of these parties that Surgeon-Major + Livingstone, pressing upon his departing guest in the hall the usual + whisky and soda, found it necessary instead to give him another kind of + support, and to put him immediately and authoritatively to bed. Lindsay + was very well content to submit; he confessed to fever off and on for four + or five days past, and while the world went round the pivotal staircase, + as Dr. Livingstone gave him an elbows up, he was indistinctly convinced + that the house of a friend was better than a shelf at the club. + </p> + <p> + The next evening's meeting saw his place empty under the window of the + hall in Crooked Lane, noticeably for the first time in weeks of these + exercises. The world shrank, for Laura, to the compass of the kerosene + lamps; there was no gaze from its wider sphere against which she must key + herself to indifference. When on the second and third evening she was + equally undisturbed, it was borne in upon her that either she or Mr. + Arnold, or both, had prevailed, and she offered up thanks. On the fourth + she reflected recurrently and anxiously that it was not after all a very + glorious victory if the devil had carried off the wounded; if Lindsay, + after all the opportunities that had been his, should slip back without + profit to the level from which she had striven—they had all striven—to + lift him. Mrs. Sand, not satisfied to be buffeted by such speculations, + sent a four-anna bit to the head bearer at the club on her own account and + obtained information. + </p> + <p> + Alicia saw no immediate privilege in the complication, though the + circumstances taken together did present a vulgar opportunity which Mrs. + Barberry came for hours to take advantage of. There were the usual two + nurses as well as Mrs. Barberry; Alicia could take the Arab farther afield + than ever, and she did. One can imagine her cantering fast and far with a + sense of conscious possession in spite of Mrs. Barberry and the two + nurses. There may be a certain solace in the definite and continuous + knowledge available about a person hovering on the brink of enteric under + your own roof-tree. It was as grave as that; Surgeon-Major Livingstone + could not make up his mind. Alicia knew only of this uncertainty; other + satisfactions were reserved for the nurses and Mrs. Barberry. She could + see that her brother was anxious, he was so uniformly cheerful, so brisk + and fresh and good-tempered coming from Lindsay's room in the morning, to + say at breakfast that the temperature was the same, hadn't budged a point, + must manage to get it down somehow in the next twenty-four hours, and + forthwith to envelop himself in the newspapers. Those arbitrary and + obstinate figures, which stood for apprehension to the most casual ear, + stamped themselves on most things as the day wore on, and at tea-time Mrs. + Barberry gave her other details, thinking her rather cold in the reception + of them. But she plainly preferred to be out of it, avoiding the nurses on + the stairs, refraining from so much as a glance at the boiled milk + preparations of the butler. “And you know,” said Mrs. Barberry, + recountant, “how these people have to be watched.” To Mrs. Barberry she + was really a conundrum, only to be solved on the theory of a perfectly + preposterous delicacy. There was so little that was preposterous in Miss + Livingstone's conduct as a rule that it is not quite fair to explain her + attitude either by this exaggeration or by an equally hectic scruple about + her right to take care of her guest, such a right dwindling curiously when + it has been given in the highest to somebody else. These pangs and + penalties may have visited her in their proportion, but they did not take + the importance of motives. She rather stood aside with folded hands, and + in an infinite terror of prejudicing fate, devoured her heart by way of + keeping its beating normal. Perhaps, too, she had a vision of a final + alternative to Lindsay's marriage, one can imagine her forcing herself to + look at it. + </p> + <p> + Remove herself as she chose, Alicia could not avoid passing Lindsay's + room, for her own lay beyond it. In the seven o'clock half light of a + February evening, in the middle of the week, she went along the matted + upper hall on tiptoe, and stumbled over a veiled form squatted in the + native way, near his door, profoundly asleep. “Ayah!” she exclaimed, but + the face that looked confusedly up at her was white, whiter than common, + Captain Filbert's face. Alicia drew her hand away and made an + imperceptible movement in the direction of her skirts. She stood silent, + stricken in the dusk with astonishment, but the sense that was strongest + in her was plainly that of having made a criminal discovery. Laura + stumbled upon her feet, and the two faced each other for an instant, words + held from them equally by the authority of the sickroom door. Then Alicia + beckoned as imperiously as if the other had in fact been the servant she + took her for, and Laura followed to where, farther on, a bedroom door + stood open, which presently closed upon them both. It was a spacious room, + with pale high-hung draperies, a scent of flowers, such things as an + etching of Greuze, an ivory and ebony crucifix over the bed. Captain + Filbert remembered the crucifix afterward with a feeling almost intense, + also some silver-backed brushes on the toilet-table. Across the open + window a couple of bars of sunset glowed red and gold, and a tall palm of + the garden cut all its fronds sharply against the light. + </p> + <p> + “Well?” said Alicia, when the door was shut. + </p> + <p> + Captain Filbert put out a deprecating hand. + </p> + <p> + “I intended to ask if you had any objection, miss, but you had gone out. + And the nurse was in the room; I couldn't get to her. There was nobody but + the servants about.” + </p> + <p> + “Objection to what?” + </p> + <p> + “To my being there. I came to pray for Mr. Lindsay.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you make any noise?” + </p> + <p> + Miss Filbert looked professionally touched. “It was silent prayer, of + course,” she said. + </p> + <p> + Alicia, standing with one hand upon the toilet-table, had an air of + eagerness, of successful capture. The yellow sky in the window behind her + made filmy lights round her hair, and outlined her tall figure, in the + gracefulness of which there was a curious crisped effect, like a + conventional pose taken easily, from habit. Laura Filbert thought she + looked like a princess. + </p> + <p> + “I seem to hear of nothing but petitions,” she said. “Isn't somebody + praying for you?” + </p> + <p> + The blood of any saint would have risen in false testimony at such a + suggestion. Laura blushed so violently that for an instant the space + between them seemed full of the sound of her protest. + </p> + <p> + “I hope so, miss,” she said, and looked as if for calming over Alicia's + shoulder away into the after-sunset bars along the sky. The colour sank + back out of her face, and the light from the window rested on it + ethereally. The beautiful mystery drew her eyes to seek, and their blue + seemed to deepen and dilate, as if the old splendour of the uplifted + golden gates rewarded them. + </p> + <p> + “Why do you use that odious word?” Alicia explained. “You are not my maid! + Don't do it again—don't dream of doing it again!” + </p> + <p> + “I—I don't know.” The girl was still plainly covered with confusion + at being found in the house uninvited. “I suppose I forgot. Well, + good-evening,” and she turned to the door. + </p> + <p> + “Don't go,” Alicia commanded. “Don't. You never come to see me now. Sit + down.” She dragged a chair forward and almost pushed Laura into it. “I + will sit down too—what am I thinking of?” + </p> + <p> + Laura reflected for a moment, looking at her folded hands. “I might as + well tell you,” she said, “that I have not been praying that Mr. Lindsay + should get better. Only that he should be given time to find salvation and + die in Jesus.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't—don't say those things to me. How light you are—it's + wicked!” Alicia returned with vehemence, and then as Captain Filbert + stared, half comprehending, “Don't you care?” she added curiously. + </p> + <p> + It was so casual that it was cruel. The girl's eyes grew wider still + during the instant she fixed them upon Alicia in the effort of complete + understanding. Then her lip trembled. + </p> + <p> + “How can I care?” she cried; “how can I?” and burst into weeping. She drew + her sari over her face and rocked to and fro. Her dusty bare foot + protruded from her cotton skirt. She sat huddled together, her head in its + coverings sunk between weak shaking shoulders. Alicia considered her for + an instant as a pitiable and degraded spectacle. Then she went over and + touched her. + </p> + <p> + “You are completely worn out,” she said, “and it is almost dinner-time. + The ayah will bring you a hot bath and then you will come down and have + some food quietly with me. My brother is dining out somewhere. I will go + away for a little while and then I know you will feel better. And after + dinner,” she added gently, “you may come up if you like and pray again for + Mr. Lindsay. I am sure he would—” + </p> + <p> + The faintest break in her own voice warned her, and she hurried out of the + room. + </p> + <p> + It was a foolish thing, and the Livingstones' old Karim Bux much deplored + it, but the miss-sahib had forgotten to give information that the dinner + of eight commanded a fortnight ago would not take place—hence + everything was ready in its sequence for this event, with a new fashion of + stuffing quails and the first strawberries of the season from Dinapore. + The feelings of Karim Bux in presenting these things to a woman in the + dress of a coolie are not important; but Alicia, for some reason, seemed + to find the trivial incident gratifying. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV + </h2> + <p> + Under the Greek porch of Number Ten, Middleton Street, in the white + sunlight between the shadows of the stucco pillars, stood a flagrant + ticca-gharry. The driver lay extended on the top of it, asleep, the syce + squatted beneath the horse's nose, and fed it perfunctorily with hay from + a bundle tied under the vehicle behind. A fringe of palms and ferns in + pots ran between the pillars, and orchids hung from above, shutting out + the garden where heavy scents stood in the sun, and mynas chattered on the + drive. The air was full of ease, warm, fretillante, abandoned to the + lavish energy of growing things; beyond the discoloured wall of the + compound rose the tender cloud of a leafing tamarisk against the blue. A + long time already the driver had slept immovably, and the horse, + uncomplaining but uninterested, had dragged at the wisps of hay. + </p> + <p> + Inside there was no longer a hint of Mrs. Barberry, even a dropped + handkerchief agreeably scented. The night nurse had realised herself + equally superfluous and had gone; the other, a person of practical views, + could hardly retain her indignation at being kept from day to day to see + her patient fed, and hand him books and writing materials. She had not + even the duty of debarring visitors, but sat most of the time in the + dressing-room where echoes fell about her of the stories with which + riotous young men, in tea and wheat and jute, hastened Mr. Lindsay's + convalescence. There she tapped her energetic fat foot on the floor in + vain, to express her views upon such waste of scientific training. She had + Surgeon Major Livingstone's orders; and he on this occasion had his + sister's. + </p> + <p> + There was an air of relief, of tension relaxed, between the two women in + the drawing-room; it was plain that Alicia had communicated these things + to her visitor, in their main import. Hilda was already half disengaged + from the subject, her eye wandered as if in search for the avenue to + another. By a sudden inclination Alicia began the story of Laura Filbert + on her knees at Lindsay's door. She told it in a quiet, steady, colourless + way, pursuing it to the end—it came with the ease of frequent + private rehearsals—and then with her elbows on her knees and her + chin in her palms she stopped and gazed meditatively in front of her. + There was something in the gaze to which Hilda yielded an attention + unexpectedly serious, something of the absolute in character and life + impervious to her inquiry. Yet to analysis it was only the grey look of + eyes habituated to regard the future with penetration and to find nothing + there. + </p> + <p> + “Have you told him?” Hilda asked after an instant's pause, during which + she conceded something, she hardly knew what; she meant to find out later. + </p> + <p> + “I haven't seen him. But I will tell him, I promise you.” + </p> + <p> + “I have no doubt you will! But don't promise ME. I won't even witness the + vow!” Hilda cried. + </p> + <p> + “What does it matter? I shall certainly tell him.” The words fell + definitely like pebbles. Hilda thoughtfully picked them up. + </p> + <p> + “On the whole,” she said, “perhaps it would be as well. Yes, it is my + advice. It is quite likely that he will be revolted. It may be curative.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia turned away her head to hide the faint frown that nevertheless + crept into her voice. “I don't think so,” she said. “How you do juggle + with things! I don't know why I talk to you about this—this matter. + I am sure I ought not.” + </p> + <p> + “I was going to say,” pursued Hilda, indifferent to her scruple, “that I + shouldn't be at all surprised if his illness leaves him quite emotionally + sane. The poison has worked itself out of his blood—perhaps the + passion and the poison were the same.” + </p> + <p> + “I wonder!” Alicia said. She said it mechanically, as the easiest comment. + </p> + <p> + “When I knew you first your speculation would have been more active, my + dear. You would have looked into the possibility and disputed it. What has + become of your modernity?” + </p> + <p> + It was the tenderest malice, but it obtained no concessive sign. Alicia + seemed to weigh it. “I think I like theories better than illustrations,” + she said in defence. + </p> + <p> + “One can look at theories as one looks at the sky, but an illustration + wants a careful point of view. For this one perhaps you are a little + near.” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps,” Alicia assented, “I am a little near.” She glanced quickly down + as she spoke, but when she raised her eyes they were dry and clear. + </p> + <p> + “I can see it better,” Hilda went on, with immense audacity, “much + better.” + </p> + <p> + “Isn't it safer to feel?” + </p> + <p> + “Jamais de la vie! The nerves lie always.” + </p> + <p> + They were on the edge of the vortex of the old dispute. Alicia leaned back + among the cushions and regarded the other with an undecided eye. + </p> + <p> + “You are not sure,” said Hilda, “that you won't ask me, at this point, to + look at the pictures in that old copy of the Persian classic—I + forget its lovely name—or inquire what sort of house we had last + night. Well, don't be afraid of hurting my feelings. Only, you know, + between us as between more doubtful people, the door must be either open + or shut. I fancy you take cold easily; perhaps you had better shut the + door.” + </p> + <p> + “Not for worlds,” Alicia said, with promptitude. Then she added, rather + cleverly, “That would be spoiling my one view of life.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda smiled. “Isn't there any life where you live?” She glanced round + her, at the tapestried elegance of the room, with sudden indifference. + “After all,” she said, “I don't know what I am doing here, in your + affairs. As the world swings no one could be more remote from them or you. + I belong to its winds and its highways—how have you brought me here, + a tramp-actress, to your drawing-room?” + </p> + <p> + Alicia laid a detaining hand upon Miss Howe's skirt. “Don't go away,” she + said. Hilda sat at the other end of the sofa; there was hardly a foot + between them. She went on with a curious excitement. + </p> + <p> + “My kind of life is so primitive, so simple; it is one pure impulse, you + don't know. One only asks the things that minister—one goes and + finds and takes them; one's feet in the straw, one's head under any roof. + What difference does it make? The only thing that counts, that rules, is + the chance of seeing something else, feeling something more, doing + something better.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia only looked at her and tightened the grasp of her fingers on the + actress's skirt. Hilda made the slightest, most involuntary movement. It + comprehended the shaking off of hindrance, the action of flight. Then she + glanced about her again with a kind of appraisement, which ended with + Alicia and embraced her. What she realised seemed to urge her, I think, in + some weak place of her sex, to go on intensely, almost fiercely. + </p> + <p> + “Everything here is aftermath. You are a gleaner, Alicia Livingstone. We + leave it all over the world for people of taste, like you, in the glow of + their illusions. I couldn't make you understand our harvest; it is of the + broad sun and the sincerity of things.” + </p> + <p> + “I know I must seem to you dreadfully out of it,” Alicia said, wearing, as + it were, across her heaviness a lighter cloud of trouble. + </p> + <p> + But the other would not be stayed; she followed by compulsion her impulse + to the end. “Shall I be quite candid?” she said. “I find the atmosphere + about you, dear, a trifle exhausted.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia with a face of astonishment made a half movement towards the window + before she understood. There was some timidity in her glance at Hilda and + in her mechanical smile. “Oh,” she said, “I see what you mean; and I don't + wonder. I am so literal—I have so little imagination.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't talk of it as if it were money or fabric—something you could + add up or measure,” Hilda cried remorselessly. “You have none!” + </p> + <p> + As if something slipped from her Alicia threw out locked hands. “At least + I had enough to know you when you came!” she cried. “I felt you, too, and + it's not my fault if there isn't enough of me to—to respond + properly. And I can't give you up. You seem to be the one valuable thing + that I can have—the only permanent fact that is left.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda had a rebound of immense discomfort. “Who said anything about giving + up?” she interrupted. + </p> + <p> + “Why, you did! But I'm quite willing to believe you didn't mean it, if you + say so.” She turned the appeal of her face and saw a sudden pitiful + consideration in Hilda's, and as if it called them forth two tears sprang + to her eyes and fell, as she lowered her delicate head upon her lap. + </p> + <p> + “Dear thing! I didn't indeed. If I meant anything it was that I'm + overstrung. I've been horribly harried lately.” She possessed herself of + one of Alicia's hands and stroked it. Alicia kept her head bent for a + moment and then let it fall, in sudden abandonment, upon the other woman's + shoulder. Her defences crumbled so utterly that Hilda felt guilty of using + absurdly heavy artillery. They sat together for a moment or two in silence + with only that supervening sense of successful aggression between them, + and the humiliation was Hilda's. Presently it grew heavy, embarrassing. + Alicia got up and began a slow, restless pacing up and down before the + alcove they sat in. Hilda watched her—it was a rhythmic progress—and + when she came near with a sound of brushing silk and a faint fragrance + which seemed a personal emanation, drew a long breath as if she were an + essence to be inhaled, and so, in a manner obtained, assimilated. + </p> + <p> + “Oh yes,” Miss Livingstone said, rehabilitating herself with a smile, “I + must keep you. I'll do anything you like to make myself more—worth + while. I'll read for the pure idea. I think I'll take up modelling. + There's rather a good man here just now.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” Hilda assented. “Read for the pure idea—take up modelling. It + is most expedient, especially if you marry. Women who like those things + sometimes have geniuses for sons. But for me, so far as I count—oh, + my dear, do nothing more. You are already an achieved effect—a + consummation of the exquisite in every way. Generations have been chosen + among for you; your person holds the inheritance of all that is gracious + and tender and discriminating in a hundred years. You are as rare as I am, + and if there is anything you would take from me, I would make more than + one exchange for the mere niceness of your fibre—the feeling you + have for fine shades of morality and taste—all that makes you a + lady, my dear.” + </p> + <p> + “Such niminy piminy things,” said Alicia, contradicting the light of + satisfaction in her eyes. The sound of a step came from the room overhead, + and the light died out. “And what good do they do me?” she cried in soft + misery. “What good do they do me!” + </p> + <p> + “Considerably less than they ought. Why aren't you up there now? What + simple, honester opportunity do you want than a sick-room in your own + house?” + </p> + <p> + Alicia, with a frightened glance at the ceiling, flew to her side. “Oh, + hush!” she cried. “Go on!” + </p> + <p> + “It ought to be there beside him, the charm of you. The room should be + full of cool refreshing hints of what you are. Your profile should come + between him and the twilight with a scent of violets.” + </p> + <p> + “It sounds like a plot,” Alicia murmured. + </p> + <p> + “It IS a plot. Why quibble about it? If you smile at him it's a plot. If + you put a rose in your hair it's a deep-laid scheme, deeper than you + perceive—the scheme the universe is built on. We wouldn't have lent + ourselves to the arrangement, we women, if we had been consulted; we're + naturally too scrupulous, but nobody asked us. 'Without our aid He did us + make,' you know.” + </p> + <p> + “But—deliberately—to go so far! I couldn't, I couldn't, even + if I could.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda leaned back in her corner with her arms extended along the back and + the end of the sofa. Her hands drooped in their vigour, her knees were + crossed, and her skirts draped them in long simple lines. In her symmetry + and strength and the warm cloud of her hair and the soul that sat behind + the shadows of her eyes Vedder might have drawn her as a tragic symbol for + the poet who sang what he sometimes thought of wine and death and roses. + </p> + <p> + “I would go farther,” she said, and looked as if some other thing charged + with sweetness had come before her. + </p> + <p> + “And even if one gained, one would never trust one's success,” Alicia + faltered. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, if one gained one would hold,” Hilda said; and while she smiled on + her pupil in the arts of life, the tenderness grew in her eyes and came + upon her lips. Her thought turned inward absently; it embraced with sweet + irony, a picture of poverty, chastity, obedience. As if she knew her + betrayal already complete, “I wish I had such a chance,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “You wish you had such a chance!” + </p> + <p> + “I didn't mean to tell you—you have enough to do to work out your + own problem; but—” + </p> + <p> + She seemed to find a joy in hesitating, to keep back the words as a miser + might keep back gold. She let her secret escape through her eyes instead. + She was deliberately radiant and silent. Alicia looked at her as they + might have looked, across the desert, at a mirage of the Promised Land. + </p> + <p> + “Then after all he has prevailed,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “Who?” + </p> + <p> + “Hamilton Bradley.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda laughed—the laugh was full and light and spontaneous, as if + all the training of the notes of her throat came unconsciously to make it + beautiful. + </p> + <p> + “How you will hold me to my metier,” she said. “Hamilton Bradley has given + up trying.” + </p> + <p> + “Then—” + </p> + <p> + “Then think! Be clever. Be very clever.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia dropped her head in the joined length of her hands. A turquoise on + one of them made them whiter, more transparent than usual. Presently she + drew her face up from her clinging fingers and searched the other woman + with eyes that nevertheless refused confirmation for their astonishment. + </p> + <p> + “Well?” said Hilda. + </p> + <p> + “I can think of no one—there IS no one—except—oh, it's + too absurd! Not Stephen—poor dear Stephen!” + </p> + <p> + The faintest shadow drifted across Hilda's face, as if for an instant she + contemplated a thing inscrutable. Then the light came back, dashed with a + gravity, a gentleness. + </p> + <p> + “I admit the absurdity. Stephen—poor dear Stephen. How odd it + seems,” she went on, while Alicia gazed, “the announcement of it—like + a thing born. But it is that—a thing born.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't understand—in the least,” Alicia exclaimed. + </p> + <p> + “Neither do I. I don't indeed. Sometimes I feel like a creature with its + feet in a trap. The insane, insane improbability of it!” She laughed + again. It was delicious to hear her. + </p> + <p> + “But—he is a priest!” + </p> + <p> + “Much more difficult. He is a saint.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia glanced at the floor. The record of another lighter moment twitched + itself out of a day that was forgotten. + </p> + <p> + “Are you quite certain?” she said. “You told me once that—that there + had been other times.” + </p> + <p> + “They are useful, those foolish episodes. They explain to one the + difference.” The tone of this was very even, very usual, but Alicia was + aware of a suggestion in it that accused her of aggression, that almost + ranged her hostile. She hurried out of that position. + </p> + <p> + “If it were possible,” she said, frowning at her embarrassment. “I see + nothing—nothing REALLY against it.” + </p> + <p> + “I should think not! Can't you conceive what I could do for him?” + </p> + <p> + “And what could he do for you?” Alicia asked, with a flash of curiosity. + </p> + <p> + “I don't think I can let you ask me that.” + </p> + <p> + “There are such strange things to consider! Would he withdraw from the + Church? Would you retire from the stage? I don't know which seems the more + impossible!” + </p> + <p> + Hilda got up. + </p> + <p> + “It would be a criminal choice, wouldn't it?” she said. “I haven't made it + out. And he, you know, still dreams only of Bengali souls for redemption, + never of me at all.” + </p> + <p> + A servant of the house with the air of a messenger brought Alicia a scrap + of paper. She glanced at it, and then, with hands that trembled, began + folding it together. + </p> + <p> + “He has been allowed to get up and sit in a chair,” she murmured, “and he + wants me to come and talk to him.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Hilda. “Come.” + </p> + <p> + She put her arm about Alicia, and drew her out of the room to the foot of + the stairs. They went in silence, saying nothing even when they parted, + and Alicia, of her own accord, began to ascend. Halfway up she paused and + looked down. Hilda turned to meet her glance, and something of primitive + puissance passed, conscious, comprehended, between the eyes of the two + women. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI + </h2> + <p> + For three days there had certainly been, with the invalid, no sign of + anything but convalescence. An appetite to cry out upon, a chartered + tendency to take small liberties, to make small demands; such indications + offered themselves to the eye that looked for other betrayals. There had + been opportunities—even the day nurse had gone, and Lindsay came to + tea in the drawing-room—but he seemed to prefer to talk about the + pattern in the carpet, or the corpulence of the khansamah, or things in + the newspapers. Alicia, once, at a suggestive point, put almost a visible + question into a silent glance, and Lindsay asked her for some more sugar. + Surgeon-Major Livingstone, coming into his office, unexpectedly one + morning, found his sister in the act of replacing a volume upon its + professional shelf. It was somebody on the pathology of Indian fevers. + Hilda's theory lacked so little to approve it—only technical + corroboration. It might also be considered that, although Laura had + expressly received the freedom of the city for intercessional or any other + purpose, she did not come again. They may have heard in Crooked Lane that + Duff was better. We may freely imagine that Mrs. Sand was informed; it + looked as if the respite to disinterested anxiety afforded by his recovery + had been taken advantage of. Lindsay was to be given time for more + dignified repentance; they might now very well hand him over, Alicia + thought, smiling, to the Archdeacon. + </p> + <p> + As a test, as something to reckon by, the revelation to Lindsay still in + prospect, of the single visit Captain Filbert did make, was perhaps + lacking in essentials. It would be an experiment of some intricacy, it + might very probably work out in shades. So much would infallibly have to + be put down for surprise and so much reasonably for displeasure, without + any prejudice to the green hope budding underneath; the key to Hilda's + theory might very well be lost in contingencies. Nevertheless, Alicia + postponed her story, from day to day and from hour to hour. If her ideas + about it—she kept them carefully in solution—could have been + precipitated, they might have appeared in a formula favourite with her + brother the Surgeon-Major, who often talked of giving nature a chance. + </p> + <p> + She told him finally on the morning of his first drive. They went together + and alone, Alicia taking her brother's place in the carriage at a demand + for him from the hospital. It was seven o'clock, and the morning wind + swept soft and warm from over the river. There was a white light on all + the stucco parapets, and their shadows slanted clear and delicately purple + to the west. The dust slept on the broad roads of the Maidan, only a + curling trace lifted itself here and there at the heel of a cart-bullock, + and nothing had risen yet of the lazy tumult of the streets that knotted + themselves in the city. From the river, curving past the statue of an + Indian administrator, came a string of country people with baskets on + their heads. The sun struck a vivid note with the red and the saffron they + wore, turned them into an ornamentation, in the profuse Oriental taste, of + the empty expanse. There was the completest freedom in the wide + tree-dotted spaces round which the city gathered her shops and her + palaces, the fullest invitation to disburden any heaviness that might + oppress, to give the wings of words to any joy that might rebel in prison. + The advantage of the intimacy of the landau for purposes of observation + was so obvious that one imagines Alicia must have been aware of it, though + as a matter of fact when she finally told Lindsay she did not look at him + at all, but beyond the trees of the Eden Gardens, where the yellow dome of + the post-office swelled against the morning sky; and so lost it. + </p> + <p> + He heard without exclamation, but stopped her now and then with a + question. On what day precisely? And how long? And afterwards? The yellow + dome was her anchor; she turned her head a little, as the road trended the + other way, to keep her eyes upon it. There was an endless going round of + wheels, and trees passed them in mechanical succession; a tree, and + another tree; some of them had flowers on them. When he broke the silence + afterwards she started as if in apprehension, but it was only to say + something that anybody might have said, about the self-sacrificing energy + of the organisation to which Miss Filbert belonged. Her assent was little + and meagre; nothing would help her to expand it. The Salvation Army rose + before her as a mammoth skeleton, without a suggestive bone. + </p> + <p> + Presently he said in a different way, as if he uttered an unguarded + thought, “I had so little to make me think she cared.” There was in it + that phantom of speculation and concern which a sick man finds under + pressure, and it penetrated Alicia that he abandoned himself to his + invalid's privileges as if he valued them. He lay extended beside her + among his cushions and wraps; she tried to look at him, and got as far as + the hand nearest her, ungloved and sinewy, on the plaid of the rug. + </p> + <p> + “She told me it was not for your life she had been praying—only that + if you died you might be saved first.” Her eyes were still on his hand, + and she saw the fingers close into the palm as if by an impulse. Then they + relaxed again, and he said, “Oh, well,” and smiled at the balancings of a + crow drinking at a city conduit. + </p> + <p> + That was all. Alicia made an effort, odd and impossible enough, to + postpone her impressions, even her emotions. In the meantime it was + something to have got it over, and she was able at a bound to talk about + the commonplaces of the roadside. In her escape from this oppression, she + too gathered a freshness, a convalescent pleasure in what they saw; + everything had in some way the likeness of the leafing teak-trees, tender + and curative. In the broad early light that lay over the tanks there was a + vague allurement, almost a presage, and the wide spaces of the Maidan made + room for hope. She asked Lindsay presently if he would mind driving to the + market; she wanted some flowers for that night. I think she wanted some + flowers for that hour. Her thought broke so easily into the symbol of a + rose. + </p> + <p> + They turned into Chowringhee, where the hibiscus bushes showed pink and + crimson over the stucco walls, and at the gates of the pillared houses + servants with brown and shining backs sat on their haunches in the sun and + were shaved. Where the street ran into shops there was still a shuttered + blankness, but here and there a doorkeeper yawned and stretched himself + before an open door, and a sweeper made a cloud of dust beneath a + commercial verandah. The first hoarding in a side street announced the + appearance of Miss Hilda Howe for one night only as Lady Macbeth, under + the kind patronage of His Excellency the Viceroy; with Jimmy Finnigan in + the close proximity of professional jealousy, advertising five complete + novelties for the same evening. It made a cheerful note which appealed to + them both; it was a pictorial combination, Hilda and Jimmy Finnigan and + the Viceroy, there was something of gay burlesque in the metropolitan + posters against the crumbling plaster of the outer mosque wall where + Mussulmans left their shoes. Talking of Hilda they smiled; it was a way + her friends had, a testimony to the difference of her. In Alicia's smile + there was a satisfaction rather subtle and in a manner superior; she knew + of things. + </p> + <p> + The life of the market, the bazar, was all awake and moving. They rolled + up through a crowd of inferior vehicles, empty for the moment and + abandoned, where the leisurely crowd with calculation under its turbans, + swayed about the market-house, and the pots of a palm-dealer ran out of + bounds and made a little grove before the stall of the man who sold pith + helmets. The warm air held the smell of all sorts of commodities; there + was a great hum of small transactions, clink of small profits. “It makes + one feel immensely practical and acquisitive,” Duff said, looking at the + loaded baskets on the coolies' heads; and he insisted on getting out. “I + am dying to buy an enormous number of desirable things very cheap. But not + combs or shirt-buttons, thank you, nor any ribbons or lace—is that + good lace, Miss Livingstone? Nor even a live duck—really I am + difficult. We might inquire the price of the duck though.” + </p> + <p> + The sense of being contributive to his holiday satisfaction reigned in + her. She abandoned herself to it with a little smile that played steadily + about her lips, as if it would tell him without her sanction, how + continually she rejoiced in his regained well-being. They made their way + slowly toward the flower-corner; there were so many things he wanted to + stop before as they went, leaning on his stick to examine them and + delighting in opportunities for making himself quite ridiculous. The + country tobacco-dealer laughed too, squatting behind his basket—it + was a mad sahib, but not madder than the rest; and there was no hurry. + Alicia saw the pink glow of the roses beyond, where the sun struck across + them over the shoulders of the crowd, and was content to reach them by + degrees. They would be in their achieved sweetness a kind of climax to the + hour's experience, and after that she was not entirely sure that the day + would be as grey as other days. + </p> + <p> + This was the flood-time of roses, and it was exquisite in the + flower-corner with the soft wind picking up their fragrance and squares of + limpid sunlight standing on the wet flagstones. Some of the stall-keepers + had little glass cases, and in these there was room only for the Gloire de + Dijons and the La Frances and the velvety Jacks, the rest over-ran the + tables and the floor in anything that would hold them. The place rioted + with the joy and the passion of roses, for buying and selling. There were + other flowers, nasturtiums, cornbottles, mignonette, but they had a + diminished insignificant look in their tied-up bunches beside the triumph + of the roses. Farther on, beyond the cage of the money-changer, the + country people were hoarse with crying their vegetables, in two green + rows, and beyond that where the jostling crowd divided, shone a glimpse of + oranges and pomegranates. In this part there were many comers and goers, + lean Mussulman table-servants, and fat Eurasian ladies who kept + boarding-houses, Armenian women with embroidered shawls drawn over their + heads, sailors of the port. They came to pass that way, through the + sweetness of it, and this made a coign of vantage for the men with trays + who were very persecuting there. Lindsay and Alicia stood together beside + the roses, her hands were deep in them, he perceived with pleasure that + their glow was reflected in her face. “No,” she exclaimed with dainty + aplomb to the man who sat cross-legged in muslin draperies on the table. + “These are certainly of yesterday. There is no scent left in them—and + look!” she held up the bunch and shook it, a shower of pink petals and + drops of water fell upon the round of her arm above the wrist where the + laces of her sleeve slipped back. Lindsay had something like a poetic + appreciation of her, observing her put the bunch down tenderly as if she + would not, if she could help it, find fault with any rose. The dealer drew + out another, and handed it to her; a long-stemmed, wide-open, perfect + thing, and it was then that her glance of delight, wandering, fell upon + Laura Filbert. Lindsay looked instantly, curiously in the same direction, + and Alicia was aware that he also saw. There ensued a terse moment with a + burden of silence and the strangest misgivings, in which he may have + imagined that he had his part alone but which was the heavier for her + because of him. These two had seen the girl before only under + circumstances that suggested protection, that made excuse, on a platform + receiving the respect of attention, marching with her fellows under common + conventions, common orders. Here, alone, slipping in and out among the + crowd, she looked abandoned, the sight of her in her bare white feet and + the travesty of her dress was a wound. Her humility screamed its + violation, its debasement of her race; she woke the impulse to screen her + and hurry her away as if she were a woman walking in her sleep. She had on + her arm a sheaf of the War Cry. This was another indignity; she offered + them right and left, no one had a pice for her except one man, a sailor, + who refused the paper. When he rejoined his companions there was a hoarse + laugh, and the others turned their heads to look after her. + </p> + <p> + The flower-dealer eyed his customers with contemptuous speculation, seeing + what had claimed their eyes. There was nothing new, the “mem” passed every + day at this hour. She did no harm and no good. He, too, looked at her as + she came closer, offering her paper to Alladiah Khan, a man impatient in + his religion, who refused it, mumbling in his beard. With a gesture of + appeal she pressed it on him, saying something. Then Alladiah's green + turban shook, his beard, dyed red in Mecca, waggled; he raised his arm, + and Laura in white astonishment darted from under it. They seldom did + that. + </p> + <p> + Alicia caught at the stall table and clung to it, as Lindsay made his + stride forward. She saw him twist his hand in the beard of Mecca and fling + the man into the road; she was aware of a vague thankfulness that it ended + there, as if she expected bloodshed. More plainly she saw the manner of + Duff's coming back to the girl and the way in which, with a look of + half-frightened satisfaction, Laura gave herself up to him. He was + hurrying her away without a word. Her surrender was as absolute and final + as if she had been one of those desirable things he said he wanted to buy. + Alicia intercepted, as it were, the indignity of being forgotten, stepping + up to them. “Take her home in the carriage,” she said to Duff, “and send + it back for me. I shall be here a long time still—quite a long + time.” She stared at Captain Filbert as she spoke, but made no answer to + the “Good-morning! God bless you!” with which the girl perfunctorily + addressed her. When they left her she looked down at the long-stemmed + rose, the perfect one, and drove a thorn of it deep into her palm, as + other creatures will sometimes hurt themselves more to suffer less. It was + not in the least fantastic of her, for she was not aware that she still + held it, but that was the only rose she brought away. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVII + </h2> + <p> + Hilda left the road, with a trace of its red dust on the hem of her skirt, + and struck out into the Maidan. It spread before her, green where the + slanting sun searched through the short blades, brown and yellow in the + distance, where the light lay on the top of the withered grass. It was + like a great English park, with something of the village common, only the + trees, for the most part, made avenues over it, running an arbitrary + half-mile this way or that, with here and there a group dotted about in + the open; and the brimming tank-pots were of India, and of nowhere else in + the world. The sun was dipping behind the masts that showed where the + straight border of the river ran, and the shadows of the pipals and the + banyans were richly purple over the roads. The light struck on the + stuccoed upper verandahs of the houses in Chowringhee which made behind + their gardens the other border, and seemed to push them back, to underline + their scattered insignificance, hinting that the Maidan at its pleasure + might surge over them altogether. Calcutta, the teeming capital, lived in + the streets and gullies behind that chaste frontage, and quarrelled over + drainage schemes; but out here cattle grazed in quiet companies, and + squirrels played on the boles of the trees. Calcutta the capital indeed + was superimposed; one felt that always at this time, when the glow came + and stood in the air among the tamarinds, and there was nothing anywhere + but luminous space and indolent stillness, and the wrangling and winging + of crows. What persisted then under the span of the sky, was the old India + of rich tradition, and a bullock beneath the yoke, jogging through the + evening to his own place where the blue haze hid the little huts on the + rim of the city, the real India, and the rest was fiction and fabrication. + </p> + <p> + The grass was crisp and pleasant. Hilda deliberately sought its solace for + her feet, letting their pressure linger. All day long the sun had been + drawing the fragrance and the life out of it, and now the air had a sweet, + warm, and grateful scent, like that of harvests. The crickets had been at + it since five o'clock, and though the city rose not half a mile across the + grass, it was the crickets she heard and listened to. In making private + statements of things, the crickets offered a chorus of agreement, and they + never interrupted. Not that she had much to consider, poor girl, which + lent itself to a difference of opinion. One might have thought her, to + meet a situation at any point like her own, not badly equipped. She had + all the argument—which is like saying all the arms—and the + most accurate understanding; but the only practical outcome of these + things had been an intimate lesson in the small value of the intelligence, + that flavoured her state with cynicism and made it more piquant. She did + not altogether scorn her own intelligence as the result, because it had + always admitted the existence of dominating facts that belonged to life + and not to reason; it was only the absurd unexpectedness of coming across + one herself. One might think round such a fact and talk round it—there + were less exquisite satisfactions—but it was not to be cowed or + abated, and in the end the things one said were only words. + </p> + <p> + Out there in the grassy spaces she let her thoughts flow through her veins + with her blood, warm and free. The primitive things she saw helped her to + a fulness of life; the south wind brought her profound sweet presciences. + A coolie-woman, carrying a basket on her head, stopped and looked at her + with full glistening eyes; they smiled at each other, and passed on. She + found herself upon a narrow path, worn smooth by other barefooted + coolie-folk; it made in its devious way toward the rich mists where the + sun had gone down; and Hilda followed, breasting the glow and the colour + and the wide, flat expanse, as if in the India of it there breathed + something exquisitely sensuous and satisfying. It struck sharp on her + senses; she almost consciously thanked Heaven for such a responsive set of + nerves. Always and everywhere she was intensely conscious of what she saw + and of how she saw it; and it was characteristic of her that she found in + that saffron February evening, spreading to a purple rim, with wandering + points of colour in a soldier's coat or a coachman's turban, an atmosphere + and a mise en scene for her own complication. She could take a tenderly + artistic view of that, more soothing a good deal than any result that came + of examining it in other lights. And she did, aware, with smiling eyes, of + how full of colour, how dramatic it was. + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, she had hardly closed with it; any material outcome seemed a + great way off, pursuable by conjecture when there was time for that. For + the present, there on the Maidan with the south wind, she took it with her + head thrown up, in her glad, free fashion, as something that came in the + way of life—the delightful way of life—with which it was + absurd to quarrel because of a slight inconvenience or incongruity, things + which helped, after all, to make existence fascinating. + </p> + <p> + A marigold lay in the path, an orange-coloured scrap with a broken stem, + dropped from some coolie's necklace. Hilda picked it up, and drew in the + crude, warm pungency of its smell. She closed her eyes and drifted on the + odour, forgetting her speculations, losing her feet. All India and all her + passion was in that violent, penetrating fragrance; it brought her, as she + gave her senses up to it, a kind of dual perception of being near the + core, the throbbing centre of the world's meaning. + </p> + <p> + Her awakened glance fell upon Duff Lindsay. He hastened to meet her, in + his friendly way; and she was glad of the few yards that lay between them + and gave transit to her senses from that other plane. They encountered + each other in full recognition of the happiness of the accident, and he + turned back with her as a matter of course. It was a kind of fruition of + all that light and colour and passive delight that they should meet and + take a path together; she at least was aware. Hilda asked him if he was + quite all right now, and he said “Absolutely” with a shade of emphasis. + She charged him with having been a remarkable case, and he piled up + illustrations of what he felt able to do in his convalescence. There was + something in the way he insisted upon his restoration which made her + hasten to take her privilege of intimacy. + </p> + <p> + “And I hear I may congratulate you,” she said. “You have got what you + wanted.” + </p> + <p> + “Someone has told you,” he retorted, “who is not friendly to it.” + </p> + <p> + “On the contrary, someone who has given it the most cordial support—Alicia + Livingstone.” + </p> + <p> + He mused upon this for an instant, as if it presented Alicia for the first + time under such an aspect. + </p> + <p> + “She has been immensely kind,” he asserted. “But she wasn't at first. At + first, she was hostile, like you, only that her hostility was different, + just as she is different. She had to be converted,” he went on hopefully, + “but it was less difficult than I imagined. I think she takes a kind of + pride in conquering her prejudices, and being true to the real breadth of + her nature.” + </p> + <p> + “I am sure she would like her nature to be broad. She might very well be + content that it is charming. And what is the difference between her + hostility and mine?” + </p> + <p> + “The main difference,” Lindsay said, with a gay half round upon her, “is + that hers has sweetly vanished, while yours”—he made a dramatic + gesture—“walks between us.” + </p> + <p> + “I know. I tried to stiffen her. I appealed to the worst in her on your + behalf. But it wasn't any use. She succumbed, as you say, to her nobler + instincts.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda stabbed a great crisp fallen teak leaf with her parasol, and spent + her paradox in twirling it. + </p> + <p> + “One can so easily get an affair of one's own out of all proportion,” Duff + said. “And I should be sorry—do you really want me to talk about + this?” + </p> + <p> + “Don't be stupid. Of course.” + </p> + <p> + He took her permission with plain avidity. + </p> + <p> + “Well, it grew plain to Miss Livingstone, as it will to everybody else who + knows or cares,” he said; “I mean chiefly Laura's tremendous desirability. + Her beauty would go for something anywhere, but I don't want to insist on + that. What marks her even more is the wonderful purity and transparency of + her mind; one doesn't find it often now, women's souls are so clouded with + knowledge. I think that sort of thing appeals especially to me because my + own design isn't in the least esoteric. I'm only a man. Then she was so + ludicrously out of her element. A creature like that should be surrounded + by the softest refinement in her daily life. That was my chance. I could + offer her her place. It's not much to counterbalance what she is, but it + helps, roughly speaking, to equalise matters.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda looked at him with sudden critical interest, missing an emanation + from him. It was his enthusiasm. A cheerfulness had come upon him instead. + Also what he said had something categorical in it, something crisp and + arranged. He himself received benefit from the consideration of it, and + she was aware that if this result followed, her own “conversion” was of + very secondary importance. + </p> + <p> + “So!” she said meditatively, as they walked. + </p> + <p> + “After it happens, when it is an accomplished fact, it will be so plainly + right that nobody will think twice about it,” Duff went on in an + encouraged voice. “It's odd how one's ideas materialise. I want her + drawing-room to be white and gold, with big yellow silk cushions.” + </p> + <p> + “When is it to happen?” + </p> + <p> + “Beginning of next cold weather—in not quite a year.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! then there will be time. Time to get the white and gold furniture. It + wouldn't be my taste quite. Is it Alicia's?” + </p> + <p> + “It's our own at present, Laura's and mine. We have talked it over + together. And I don't think she would ask Miss Livingstone. In matters of + taste women are rather rivals, aren't they?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh Lord!” Hilda exclaimed, and bit her lip. “Where is Miss Filbert now?” + </p> + <p> + “At Number Ten, Middleton Street.” + </p> + <p> + “With the Livingstones?” + </p> + <p> + “Is it so astonishing? Miss Livingstone has been most practical in her + kindness. I have gone back, of course, to my perch at the club, and Laura + is to stay with them until she sails.” + </p> + <p> + “She sails?” + </p> + <p> + “In the Sutlej, next Wednesday. She's got three months' leave. She really + hasn't been well, and her superior officer is an accommodating old sort. + She resigns at home, and I'm sending her to some dear old friends of mine. + She hasn't any particular people of her own. She's got a notion of taking + lessons of some kind—perfectly unnecessary, but if it amuses her—during + the summer. And of course she will have to get her outfit together.” + </p> + <p> + “And in December,” said Hilda, “she comes out and marries you?” + </p> + <p> + “Not a Calcutta wedding. I meet her in Madras and we come up together.” + </p> + <p> + “Ideal,” said Hilda; “and is Calcutta much scandalised?” + </p> + <p> + “Calcutta doesn't know. If I had had my way in the beginning I fancy I + would have trumpeted it. But now I suppose it's wiser—why should one + offer her up at their dinner-tables?” + </p> + <p> + “Especially when they would make so little of her,” said Hilda absently. + </p> + <p> + The coolie track had led them into the widest part of the Maidan, where it + slopes to the south, and the huts of Bowanipore. There was nothing about + them but a spreading mellowness and the baked turf underfoot. The cloudy + yellow twilight disclosed that a man a little way off was a man, and not a + horse, but did hardly more. “I'm tired,” Hilda said suddenly, “let us sit + down,” and sank comfortably on the fragrant grass. Lindsay dropped beside + her and they sat for a moment in silence. A cricket chirped noisily a few + inches from them. Hilda put out her hand in that direction and it ceased. + Sounds wandered across from the encircling city, evening sounds, softened + in their vagrancy, and lights came out, topaz points in the level glow. + </p> + <p> + “She is making a tremendous sacrifice,” Lindsay went on; “I seem to see + its proportions more clearly now.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda glanced at him with infinite kindness. “You are an awfully good + sort, Duff,” she said; “I wish you were out of Asia.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, a magnificent sort.” The irony was contemplative, as if he examined + himself to see. + </p> + <p> + “You can make her life delightful to her. The sacrifice will not endure, + you know.” + </p> + <p> + “One can try. It will be worth doing.” He said it as if it were a maxim, + and Hilda, perceiving this, had no answer ready. As they sat without + speaking, the heart of the after-glow drew away across the river, and left + something chill and empty in the spaces about them. Things grew hard of + outline, the Maidan became an unlimited expanse of commonplace, grey and + unyielding; the lines of gas-lamps on the roads came very near. “What a + difference it makes!” Lindsay exclaimed, looking after the vanished light, + “and how suddenly it goes!” + </p> + <p> + Hilda turned concerned eyes upon him, and then looked with keen sadness + far into the changed landscape. “Ah, well, my dear,” she said, with + apparent irrelevance, “we must take hold of life with both hands.” She + made a movement to rise, and he, jumping to his feet, helped her. As if + the moment had some special significance, something to be underlined, he + kept her hand while he said, “you will always represent something in mine. + I can depend upon you—I shall know that you are there.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” she said sincerely. “Yes indeed,” and it seemed to her that he + looked thin and intense as he stood beside her—unless it was only + another effect of atmosphere. “After all,” she said, as they turned to + walk back again across the withered grass, “your fever has taken a good + deal out of you.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVIII + </h2> + <p> + Finally the days of Laura Filbert's sojourn under the Livingstones' roof + followed each other into the past that is not much pondered. Alicia at one + time valued the impression that life in Calcutta disappeared entirely into + this kind of history, that one's memory there was a rubbish heap of which + one naturally did not trouble to stir up the dust. It gave a soothing + wistfulness to discontent to think this, which a discerning glance might + often have seen about her lips and eyebrows as she lay back among her + carriage cushions under the flattery of the south wind in the course of + her evening drive. She had ceased latterly, however, to note particularly + that or any impression. Such things require range and atmosphere, and she + seemed to have no more command over these; her outlook was blocked by + crowding, narrowing facts. There was certainly no room for perceptions + creditable to one's intellect or one's taste. Also it may be doubted + whether Alicia would have tried the days of her hospitality to Captain + Filbert by her general standard of worthlessness. She turned away from + them more actively than from the rest, but it was because they bristled, + naturally enough, with dilemmas and distresses which she made a literal + effort to forget. As a matter of fact there were not very many days, and + they were largely filled with millinery. Even the dilemmas and distresses, + when they asserted themselves, were more or less overswept, as if for the + sake of decency, by billows of spotted muslin, with which Celine, who felt + the romance of the situation, made herself marvellously clever. Celine, + indeed, was worth in this exigency many times her wages. Alicia hastened + to “lend” her to the fullest extent, and she spent hours with Miss Filbert + contriving and arranging, a kind of conductor of her mistress's + beneficence. It became plain that Laura preferred the conductor to the + source, and they stitched together while she, with careful reserves, + watched for the casual sidelights upon modes and manners that came from + the lips of the maid. At other times she occupied herself with her Bible—she + had adopted, as will be guessed, the grateful theory of Mrs. Sand, that + she had only changed the sphere of her ministrations. She had several + times felt, seated beside Celine, how grateful she ought to be that her + spiritual paths for the future would be paths of such pleasantness, though + Celine herself seemed to stand rather far from their border, probably + because she was a Catholic. Mrs. Sand came occasionally to upbuild her, + and after that Laura had always a fresh remembrance of how much she had + done in giving so generous a friend as Duff Lindsay to the Army in + Calcutta. It was reasonable enough that there should be a falling off in + Mr. Lindsay's attendance just now in Laura's absence, but when they were + united, Mrs. Sand hoped there would be very few evening services when she, + the Ensign, would miss their bright faces. + </p> + <p> + Lindsay himself came every afternoon, and Laura made tea, and pressed upon + him, solicitously, everything there was to eat. He found her submissive + and wishful to be pleasant. She sat up straight, and said it was much + hotter than they had it this time of year up-country, but nothing at all + to complain of yet. He also discovered her to be practical; she showed him + the bills for the muslins, and explained one or two bargains. She seemed + to wish to make it clear to him that it need not be, after all, so very + expensive to take a wife. In the course of a few days one of the costumes + was completed, and when he came she had it on, appearing before him for + the first time in secular dress. The stays insisted a little cruelly on + the lines of her figure, and the tight bodice betrayed her narrow-chested. + Above its frills her throat protruded unusually, with a curve outward like + that of some wading bird's, and her arms, in their unaccustomed sleeves, + hung straight at her sides. She had put on the hat that matched; it was + the kind of pretty disorderly hat with waving flowers that demands the + shadow of short hair along the forehead, and she had not thought of that + way of making it becoming. Among these accessories the significance of her + face retreated to a point vague and distant, its lightly-pencilled lines + seemed half erased. + </p> + <p> + She made no demand for admiration on this occasion, she seemed + sufficiently satisfied with herself; but after a time when they were + sitting together on the sofa, and he still pursued the lines of her + garment with questioning eyes, she recalled him to the conventionalities + of the situation. + </p> + <p> + “You needn't be afraid of mussing it,” she said. + </p> + <p> + The ship she took her departure in sailed from its jetty in the river at + six o'clock in the morning. Preparations for her comfort had been + completed over night; indeed she slept on board, and Duff had only the + duty and the sentiment of actual parting in the morning. He found her in a + sequestered corner of the fresh swabbed quarter-deck. She wore her Army + clothes—she had come on board in one of the muslins—and she + was softly crying. From the jetty on the other side of the ship arose, + amid tramping feet and shouted orders and the creaking of the + luggage-crane, the over-ruling sound of a hymn. Ensign Sand and a company + had come apparently to pay the last rites to a fellow-officer whom they + should no more meet on earth, bearing her heavenly commission. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Farewell, faithful friend, we must now bid adieu + To those joys and pleasures we've tasted with you, + We've laboured together, united in heart, + But now we must close and soon we must part.” + </pre> + <p> + They had said good-bye to her and God bless you, all of them, but they + evidently meant to sing the ship out of port. Lindsay sat down beside the + victim of the demonstration and quietly took her hand. There was a + consciousness newly guilty in his discomfort, which he owed perhaps to a + ghost of futility that seemed to pace up and down before him, between the + ranks of the steamer-chairs. Nevertheless as she presently turned a calmed + face to him with her pale apology he had the sensation of a rebound toward + the ideal that had finally perished in the spotted muslin, and when a + little later he watched the long backward trail of smoke as the steamer + moved down the clear morning river, he reflected that it was a + satisfaction to have prevailed. + </p> + <p> + The Sutlej had gone far on her tranquil course by the evening of a dinner + in Middleton Street, at which the guests, it was understood, were to + proceed later to a party given at Government House by his Excellency the + Viceroy. Alicia, when she included Duff in her invitations, felt an + assurance that the steamer must by that time have reached Aden, and rose + almost with buoyancy to the illusion you can make if you like, with the + geographical mile. She could hardly have left him out in any case—he + could almost have demanded an explanation—since it was one of those + parties which she gave every now and then, undiscouraged, with the focus + of Hilda Howe. It had to be every now and then, because Calcutta society + was so little adapted to appreciate meeting talented actresses—there + were so many people whom Alicia had to consider as to whether they would + “mind.” Hilda marvelled at the sanguine persistence of Miss Livingstone's + efforts in this direction, the results were so fragmentary, so dislocated + and indecisive, but she also rejoiced. She took life, as may have + appeared, at a broad and generous level, it quite comprehended the salient + points of a Calcutta dinner-party; and it was seldom that she failed, + metaphorically speaking, to carry away a bone from the feast. If you found + this reprehensible she would have told you she had observed they do it in + Japan, where manners are the best in the world. + </p> + <p> + Doubtless Hilda would have dwelt longer upon such a dinner-party than I, + with no consolatory bone to gnaw in private, find myself inclined to do. + To me it is depressing and a little cruel to be compelled to betray the + inadequacy of the personal element at Alicia's banquets, especially in + connection with the conspicuous excellence of the cooking. A poverty of + cuisine would have provoked no contrast, and one irony the less would have + been offered up to the gods that season. The limitations of her resources + were, of course, arbitrary, that is plain in the fact that she asked such + a person as the Head of the Department of Education, with no better reason + than that he had laid almost the whole of Shelley under critical notes for + the benefit of Calcutta University. There was also a civilian who had + written a few years before an article in the Nineteenth Century about the + aboriginal tribes of the Central Provinces, and the lady attached to him, + who had been at one time the daughter of a Lieutenant-Governor. The + Barberrys were there because Mrs. Barberry loved meeting anybody that was + clever, admired brains beyond anything; and an A.D.C. who had to be asked + because Mrs. Barberry was; and Captain Salter Symmes, who took leading + male parts in Mr. Pinero's plays when they were produced in Simla and was + invariably considered up there to have done them better than any + professional they have at home, though he was even more successful as a + contortionist when the entertainment happened to be a burlesque. Taking + Hilda and Lindsay and Stephen Arnold as a basis, Alicia had built up her + party, with the contortionist as it were at the apex, on his head. The + Livingstones had family connection with a leading London publishing firm, + and Alicia may possibly have reflected as she surveyed her completed work, + how much better than capering captains she could have done in Chelsea, + though it cannot be admitted likely that she would harbour, at that + particular instant, so ungracious a thought. And indeed it was a + creditable party, it would almost unanimously call itself, next day, a + delightful one. Miss Howe made the most agreeable excitement, you might + almost have heard the heart-beats of the wife of the literary civilian, as + she just escaped being introduced, and so availed herself of the dinner's + opportunity for intimate observation without letting herself in a particle—most + clever. Mrs. Barberry, of course, rushed upon the spear, she always did, + and made a gushing little speech with every eye upon her in the middle of + the room, without a thought of consequences. The A.D.C. was also empresse, + one would have thought that he himself was acting, the way he bowed and + picked up Hilda's fan—a grace lingered in it from the minuet he had + danced the week before, in ruffles and patches, with the daughter of the + Commander-in-Chief. Duff got out of the way to enable the newly introduced + Head of the Department of Education to inform Miss Howe that he never went + to the theatre in Calcutta himself, it was much too badly ventilated; and + Stephen Arnold arriving late, shot like an embarrassed arrow through the + company to Alicia's side, and was still engaged there in grieved + explanation when dinner was announced. + </p> + <p> + There were pink water-lilies, and Stephen said grace—those were the + pictorial features. Half of the people had taken their seats when he + began; there was a hasty scramble, and a decorous half-checked smile. + Hilda, at the first word of the brief formula, blushed hotly; then she + stood while he spoke, with bowed head and clasped hands like a reverently + inclining statue. Her long lashes brushed her cheek; she drew a kind of + isolation from the way her manner underlined the office. The civilian's + wife, with a side-glance, settled it off-hand that she was absurdly + affected; and indeed to an acuter intelligence it might have looked as if + she took, with the artistry of habit, a cue that was not offered. + </p> + <p> + That was the one instant, however, in which the civilian's wife, observing + the actress, was gratified; and it was so brief that she complained + afterwards that Miss Howe was disappointing. She certainly went out of her + way to be normal. Since it was her daily business to personate exceptional + individuals, it seemed to be her pleasure that night to be like everybody + else. She did it on opulent lines; there was a richness in her agreement + that the going was as hard as iron on the Ellenborough course, and a soft + ingenuousness in her inquiries about punkahs and the brain-fever bird that + might have aroused suspicion, but after a brief struggle to respond to the + unusualness she ought to have represented, Alicia's guests gratefully + accepted her on their own terms instead. She expanded in the light and the + glow and the circumstance; she looked with warm pleasure at the orchids + the men wore and the jewelled necks of the women. The social essence of + Alicia's little dinner-party passed into her, and she moved her head like + the civilian's wife. She felt the champagne investing her chatter and the + chatter of the Head of the Department of Education with the most + satisfying qualities, which were oddly stimulated when she glanced over + the brim of her glass at Stephen, sitting at the turn of the oval, giving + a gravely humble but perfunctory attention to Mrs. Barberry, and drinking + water. The occasion grew before her into a gorgeous flower, living, + pulsating, and in the heart of its light and colour the petals closed over + her secret, over him, the unconscious priest with the sloping shoulders, + thinking of abstinence and listening to Mrs. Barberry. + </p> + <p> + It transpired when the men came up that there was no unanimity about going + to Government House. The Livingstones craved the necessity of absence, if + anyone would supply it by staying on; it would be a boon they said, and + cited the advancement of the season. “One gets to bed so much earlier,” + Surgeon-Major Livingstone urged, at which Alicia raised her eyebrows and + everybody laughed. Lindsay elected to gratify them, with the proclaimed + purpose of seeing how long Livingstone could be kept up, and the civilian + pair agreed, apparently from a tendency to remain seated. The A.D.C. had, + of course, to go; duty called him; and he declared a sense of slighted + hospitality that anybody should remain behind. “Besides,” he cried, with + ingenuous privilege, “who's goin' to chaperone Miss Howe?” + </p> + <p> + Hilda stood in the midst. Tall, in violet velvet, she had a flush that + made her magnificent; her eyes were deep and soft. It was patent that she + was out of proportion to the other women, body and soul; there was + altogether too much of her; and it was only the men, when Captain Corby + spoke, who looked silently responsive. + </p> + <p> + “We're coming away so early,” said Mrs. Barberry, buttoning her glove. + Hilda had begun to smile, and, indeed, the situation had its humour, but + there was also behind her eyes an appreciation of another sort. “Don't,” + she said to Alicia, in the low, quick reach of her prompting tone, as if + the other had mistaken her cue, but the moment hardly permitted retreat, + and Alicia turned an unflinching graceful front to the lady in the + Department of Education. “Then I think I must ask you,” she said. + </p> + <p> + The educational husband was standing so near Hilda that she got the very + dregs of the glance of consternation his little wife gave him as she + replied, a trifle red and stiff, that she was sure she would be delighted. + </p> + <p> + “Nobody suggests ME!” exclaimed Captain Corby resentfully. They were + gathered in the hall, the carriages were driving to the open door, the + Barberry's glistening brougham whisking them off, and then the battered + vehicle in Hilda's hire. It had an air of ludicrous forlornness, with its + damaged paint and its tied-up harness. Hilda, when its door closed upon + the purple vision of her, might have been a modern Cinderella in mid-stage + of backward transformation. + </p> + <p> + “I could chaperone you all!” she cried gaily back at them, as she passed + down the steps; and in the relief of the general exclamation it seemed + reasonable enough that Stephen Arnold should lean into the gharry to see + that she was quite comfortable. The unusual thing, which nobody else + heard, was that he said to her then with shamed discomfort, “It doesn't + matter—it doesn't matter,” and that Hilda, driving away, found + herself without a voice to answer the good-nights they chorussed after + her. + </p> + <p> + Arnold begged a seat in Captain Corby's dogcart, and Hilda, with her + purple train in her lap, heard the wheels following all the way. She + re-encountered the lady to whom she had been entrusted, whose name it + occurs to me was Winstick, in the cloakroom. They were late; there was + hardly anybody else but the attendants; and Mrs. Winstick smiled freely, + and said she loved the colour of Hilda's dress; also that she would give + worlds for an invisible hairpin—oh, thank you!—and that it was + simply ducky of her Excellency to have pink powder as well as white put + out. She did hope Miss Howe would enjoy the evening—they would meet + again later on; she must not forget to look at the chunam pillars in the + ballroom—perfectly lovely. So she vanished; but Hilda went with + certainty into the corridor to find Arnold pacing up and down the red + strip of carpet, with his hands clasped behind him and his head thrust + forward, waiting for her. + </p> + <p> + They dropped together into the crowd and walked among well-dressed women, + men in civilian black and men in uniform, up and down the pillared spaces + of the ballroom. People had not been asked to dance, and they seemed to + walk about chiefly for observation. There was, of course, the opportunity + of talking and of listening to the band which discoursed in a corner + behind palms, but the distraction which is the social Nemesis of + bureaucracy was in the air, visibly increasing in the neighbourhoods of + the Viceroy and the Commander-in-Chief, and made the commonplaces people + uttered to each other disjointed and fragmentary, while it was plain that + few were aware whether music was being rendered or not. Anyone sensitive + to pervading mental currents in gatherings of this sort would have found + the relief of concentration and directness only near the buffet that ran + along one side of the room, where the natural instinct played, without + impediment, upon soup and sandwiches. + </p> + <p> + They did not look much at Hilda, even on the arm of her liveried priest. + She was a strange vessel, sailing in from beyond their ken, and her pilot + was almost as novel, yet they were incurious. Their interests were not in + any way diffused, they had one straight line and it led upward, pausing at + the personalities clerked above them, with an ultimate point in the head + of a department. The Head of the Department was the only person unaware, + when addressed, of a travelling eye in search over his shoulder of + somebody with whom it would be more advantageous to converse. Yet there + were a few people apparently not altogether indifferent to the presence of + Miss Howe. She saw them here and there, and when Arnold said, “It must + seem odd to you, but I know hardly anybody here. We attempt no social + duties,” she singled out this one and that, whom Alicia had asked to meet + her, and mentioned them to him with a warm pleasure in implying one of the + advantages of belonging to the world rather than to the cloister. Stephen + knew their names and their dignities. He received what she said with + suitably impressed eyebrow and nods of considerate assent. Hilda carried + him along, as it were, in their direction. She was full that night of a + triumphant sense of her own vitality, her success and value as a human + unit. There was that in her blood which assured her of a welcome, it had + logic in it, with the basis of her rarity, her force, her distinction + among other women. She pressed forward to human fellowship with a smile on + her lips, as a delightful matter of course, going towards the people who + were not indifferent to the fact that she was there, who could not be + entirely, since they had some sort of knowledge of her. + </p> + <p> + In no case did they ignore her, but they were so cheerfully engaged in + conversation that they were usually quite oblivious of her. She + encountered this animated absorption two or three times, then turning she + found that the absorbed ones had changed their places—were no longer + in her path. One lady put herself at a safe distance and then bowed, with + much cordiality. It was extraordinary in a group of five how many + glistening shoulders would be presented, quite without offence, to her + approach. Mrs. Winstick had hidden behind the Superintendent of Stamps and + Stationery, to whom she was explaining, between spoonfuls of strawberry + ice, her terrible situation. And from the lips of another lady whose face + she knew, she heard after she had passed, “Don't you think it's rather an + omnium gatherum?” + </p> + <p> + It was like Hilda Howe to note at that moment with serious interest, how + the little world about them had the same negative attitude for the + missionary priest beside her, presenting it with a hardly perceptible + difference. Within its limits there was plainly no room for him either. + His acquaintances—he had a few—bowed with the kind of respect + which implies distance, and in the wandering eyes of the others it was + plain that he did not exist. She saw, too, with a very delicate pleasure, + that he carried himself in his grave humility untouched and unconscious. + Expecting nothing he was unaware that he received nothing. It was odd, and + in its way charming, that she who saw and knew drew from their mutual + grievance a sense of pitiful protection for him, the unconscious one. For + herself, the tide that bore her on was too deep to let these things hurt + her, she looked down and saw the soreness and humiliation of them + pictorially, at the bottom, gliding smoothly over. They brought no + stereotype to her smile, no dissonance to what she found to say. When at + last she and Arnold sat down together her standpoint was still superior, + and she herself was so aloof from it all that she could talk about it + without bitterness, divorcing the personal pang from a social + manifestation of some dramatic value. In offering up her egotism that way + she really only made more subtle sacrifices to it, but one could hardly + expect such a consideration, just then, to give her pause. She anointed + his eyelids, she made him see, and he was relieved to find in her light + comment that she took the typical Mrs. Winstick less seriously than he had + supposed when they drove away from the Livingstones'. It could not occur + to him to correct the impression he had then by the sound of his own voice + uttering sympathy. + </p> + <p> + “But I know now what a wave feels like dashing against a cliff,” she said. + “Fancy my thinking I could impose myself! That is the wave's reflection.” + </p> + <p> + “It goes back into the sea which is its own; and there,” said the priest, + whom nature had somehow cheated by the false promise of high moralities + out of an inheritance of beauty,—“and there, I think, is depth and + change and mystery, with joy in the obedience of the tides and a full + beating upon many shores—” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my sea! I hear it calling always, even,” she said half-reflectively, + “when I am talking to you. But sometimes I think I am not a wave at all, + only a shell, to be stranded and left, always with the calling in my ears—” + She seemed to have dropped altogether into reverie, and then looked up + suddenly, laughing, because he could not understand. + </p> + <p> + “After all,” she said practically, “what has that to do with it? One + doesn't blame these people. They are stupid—that's all. They want + the obvious. The leading lady of Mr. Llewellyn Stanhope—without the + smallest diamond—who does song and dance on Saturday nights—what + can you expect! If I had a great name they would be pleased enough to see + me. It is one of the rewards of the fame.” She was silent for a moment, + and then she added, “They are very poor.” + </p> + <p> + “Those rewards! I have sometimes thought,” Arnold said, “that you were not + devoured by thirst for them.” + </p> + <p> + “When we are together, you and I,” she answered simply, “I never am.” + </p> + <p> + He took it at its face value. They had had some delightful conversations. + If her words awakened anything in him it was the remembrance of these. The + solace of her companionship presented itself to him again, and her + statement gave their mutual confidence another seal; that was all. They + sat where they were for half an hour, and something like antagonism and + displeasure towards the secretaries' wives settled upon them, from which + Hilda, interrupting a glance or two from the ladies purring past, drew + suspicion. “I am going now,” she said. “It—it isn't quite suitable + here,” and there was just enough suggestion in the point of her fan to + make him think of his frock. “It is an unpardonable truth that if we stay + any longer I shall make people talk about you.” + </p> + <p> + He turned astonished eyes upon her, eyes in which she remembered + afterwards there was absolutely nothing but a literal and pained + apprehension of what she said. “You are a good woman,” he exclaimed. “How + could such a thing be possible!” + </p> + <p> + The faintest embarrassment, the merest suggestion of distress, came into + her face and concentrated in her eyes, which she fixed upon him as if she + would bring his words to the last analysis, and answer him as she would + answer a tribunal. + </p> + <p> + “A good woman?” she repeated, “I don't know—isn't that a refinement + of virtue? No; standing on my sex I make no claim, but as PEOPLE go I am + good. Yes, I am good.” + </p> + <p> + “In my eyes you are splendid,” he replied, content, and gave her his arm. + They went together through the reception-rooms, and the appreciation of + her grew in him. If in the bright and silken distance he had not seen his + Bishop it might have glowed into a cordiality of speech with his + distinctive individual stamp on it. But he saw his Bishop, his ceinture + tightened on him, and he uttered only the trite saying about the folly of + counting on the sensibility of swine. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” she laughed into her good-night to him, “but I'm not sure that it + isn't better to be the pig than the pearl.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIX + </h2> + <p> + “Not long ago,” said Hilda, “I had a chat with him. We sat on the grass in + the middle of the Maidan, and there was nothing to interfere with my + impressions.” + </p> + <p> + “What were your impressions? No!” Alicia cried. “No! Don't tell me. It is + all so peaceful now, and simple, and straightforward. You think such + extraordinary things. He comes here quite often, to talk about her. He is + coming this afternoon. So I have impressions too—and they are just + as good.” + </p> + <p> + “All right.” Hilda crossed her knees more comfortably. “WHAT did you say + the Surgeon-Major paid for those Teheran tiles?” + </p> + <p> + “Something absurd—I've forgotten. He writes to her regularly, diary + letters, by every mail.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you tell him what to put into them?” + </p> + <p> + “Hilda, sometimes—you're positively gross.” + </p> + <p> + “I daresay, my dear. You didn't come out of a cab, and you never are. I + like being gross, I feel nearer to nature then, but I don't say that as an + excuse. I like the smell of warm kitchens and the talk of bus-drivers, and + bread and herrings for my tea—all the low satisfactions appeal to + me. Beer, too, and hand-organs.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know when to believe you. He talks about her quite freely, and—and + so do I. She is really interesting in her way.” + </p> + <p> + “And in perspective.” + </p> + <p> + “Why should you be odiously smart. He and Stephen”—her glance was + tentative—“have made it up.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh?” + </p> + <p> + “He admits now that Stephen was justified, from his point of view. But of + course that is easy enough when you have come off best.” + </p> + <p> + “Of course.” + </p> + <p> + “Hilda, what do you THINK?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I think it's deplorable—you have always known what I think. + Have you seen him lately—I mean your cousin?” + </p> + <p> + “He lunched with us yesterday. He was more enthusiastic than ever about + you.” + </p> + <p> + “I wish you could tell me that he hadn't mentioned my name. I don't want + his enthusiasm. The pit gives one that.” + </p> + <p> + “Hilda, tell me; what is your idea of—of what it ought to be? What + is the principal part of it? Not enthusiasm—adoration?” + </p> + <p> + “Goodness, no! Something quite different and quite simple—too simple + to explain. Besides, it is a thing that requires the completest ignorance + to discuss comfortably. Do you want me to vivisect my soul? You yourself, + can you talk about what most possesses you?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” protested Alicia, “I wasn't thinking about myself,” and at the same + moment the door opened and Hilda said, “Ah! Mr. Lindsay.” + </p> + <p> + There was a hint of the unexpected in Duff's response to Miss Howe's + greeting, and a suggestion in the way he sat down that this made a + difference, and that he must find other things to say. He found them with + facility, while Hilda decided that she would finish her tea before she + went. Alicia, busy with the urn, seemed satisfied to abandon them to each + other, to take a decorative place in the conversation, interrupting it + with brief inquiries about cream and sugar. Alicia waited, it was her way; + she sank almost palpably into the tapestries until some reviving + circumstance should bring her out again, a process which was quite + compatible with her little laughs and comments. She waited, offering + repose, and unconscious even of that. You know Hilda Howe as a creature of + bold reflections. Looking at Alicia Livingstone behind the teapot, the + conviction visited her that a sex three-quarters of this fibre explained + the monastic clergy. + </p> + <p> + “It is reported that you have performed the wonderful, the impossible,” + Lindsay said; “that Llewellyn Stanhope goes home solvent.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't know how he can help it now. But I have to be very firm. He's on + his knees to me to do Ibsen. I tell him I will if he'll combine with Jimmy + Finnigan and bring the Surprise Party on between the acts. The only way it + would go, in this capital.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, do produce Ibsen,” Alicia exclaimed; “I've never seen one of his + plays—doesn't it sound terrible!” + </p> + <p> + “If people will elect to live upon a coral strand—oh, I should like + to, for you and Duff here, but Ibsen is the very last man to deliver to a + scratch company. He must have equal merit, or there's no meaning. You see + he makes none of the vulgar appeals. It would be a tame travesty—nobody + could redeem it alone. You must keep to the old situations, the reliable + old dodges, when you play in any part of Asia.” + </p> + <p> + “I never shall cease to regret that I didn't see you in The Offence of + Galilee?” Duff said. “Everyone who knows the least bit about it said you + were marvellous in that.” + </p> + <p> + “Marvellous,” said Alicia + </p> + <p> + Hilda gazed straight before her for an instant without speaking. The + others looked at her absent eyes. “A bazar trick or two helped me,” she + said, and glanced with vivacity at any other subject that might be hanging + on the wall, or visible out of the window. + </p> + <p> + “And are you really invincible about not putting it on again in Calcutta?” + Duff asked. + </p> + <p> + “Not in Calcutta, or anywhere. The rest hate it—nobody has a chance + but me,” Hilda said, and got up. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I don't know,” Alicia began, but Miss Howe was already half-way out + of the discussion, in the direction of the door. There was often a + brusqueness in her comings and goings, but she usually left a flavour of + herself behind. One turned with facility to talk about her, this being the + easiest way of applying the stimulus that came of talking to her. It was + more conspicuous than either of these two realised that they accepted her + retreat without a word, that there was even between them a consciousness + of satisfaction that she had gone. + </p> + <p> + “This morning's mail,” said Alicia, smiling brightly at Lindsay, “brought + you a letter, I know.” It was extraordinary how detached she could be from + her vital personal concern in him. It seemed relegated to some background + of her nature while she occupied herself with the immediate play of + circumstance or was lost in her observation of him. + </p> + <p> + “How kind of you to think of it,” Lindsay said. “This was the first by + which I could possibly hear from England.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, well, now you will have no more anxiety. Letters from on board ship + are always difficult to write and unsatisfactory,” Alicia said. Miss + Filbert's had been postcards, with a wide unoccupied margin at the bottom. + </p> + <p> + “The Sutlej seems to have arrived on the third; that's a day later, isn't + it, than we made out she would be?” + </p> + <p> + Alicia consulted her memory, and found she couldn't be sure. Lindsay was + vexed by a similar uncertainty, but they agreed that the date was early in + the month. + </p> + <p> + “Did they get comfortably through the Canal? I remember being tied up + there for forty-eight hours once.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't think she says, so I fancy it must have been all right. The + voyage is bound to do her good. I've asked the Simpsons to watch + particularly for any sign of malaria later, though. One can't possibly + know what she may have imported from that slum in Bentinck Street.” + </p> + <p> + “And what was it like after Gibraltar?” Alicia asked, with a barely + perceptible glance at the envelope edges showing over his breast-pocket. + </p> + <p> + “I'll look,” and he sorted one out. It was pink and glossy, with a + diagonal water-stripe. Lindsay drew out the single sheet it contained, and + she could see that every line was ruled and faintly pencilled. “Let me + see,” said he. “To begin at the beginning. 'We arrived home on the third,'—you + see it was the third,—'making very slow progress the last day on + account of a fog in the Channel'—ah, a fog in the Channel!—'which + was a great disappointment to some on board who were impatient to meet + their loved ones. One lady had not seen her family of five for seven + years. She said she would like to get out and swim, and you could not + wonder. She was my s—stable companion.” + </p> + <p> + “Quaint!” said Alicia. + </p> + <p> + “She has picked up the expression on board. 'So—so she told me + this.' Oh yes. 'Now that it is all over I have written the voyage down + among my mercies in spite of three days' sickness, when you could keep + nothing on—' What are those two words, Miss Livingstone? I can't + quite make them out.” + </p> + <p> + “'Your'—cambric?—stom—'stomach'—'your stomach.'” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, quite so. Thanks!—'in the Bay of Biscay.' You see it WAS rough + after Gib. 'Everybody was'—yes. 'The captain read Church of England + prayers on Sunday mornings, in which I had no objection to join, and we + had mangoes every day for a week after leaving Ceylon.'” + </p> + <p> + “Miss Filbert was so fond of mangoes,” Alicia said. + </p> + <p> + “Was she? 'The passengers got up two dances, and quite a number of + gentlemen invited me, but I declined with thanks, though I would not say + it is wrong in itself.'” Lindsay seemed to waver; her glance went near + enough to him to show her that his face had a red tinge of embarrassment. + He looked at the letter uncertainly, on the point of folding it up. + </p> + <p> + “You see she hasn't danced for so long,” Alicia put in quickly; “she would + naturally hesitate about beginning again with anybody but you. I shouldn't + wonder,” she added gently, “if she never does, with anybody else.” + </p> + <p> + “I know it's an idea some women have,” he replied. “I think it's rather—nice.” + </p> + <p> + “And her impressions of the Simpsons—and Plymouth?” + </p> + <p> + “She goes on to that.” He reconsulted the letter. “'Mr. and Mrs. Simpson + met me as expected and welcomed me very affably.' She has got hold of a + wrong impression there, I fancy; the Simpsons couldn't be 'affable.' 'They + seem very kind and pleasant for such stylish people, and their house is + lovely, with electric light in the parlour and hot and cold water + throughout. They seem very earnest people and have family prayers + regularly, but I have not yet been asked to lead. Four servants come in to + prayers. Mr. and Mrs. Simpson are deeply interested in the work of the + Army, though I think Plymouth as a whole is more taken up with the C.M.S.; + but we cannot have all things.' Dear me, yes! I remember those evangelical + teas and the disappointment that I could not speak more definitely about + the work among the Sontalis.” + </p> + <p> + “Fancy her having caught the spirit of the place already!” exclaimed + Alicia. “He went on: 'Mr. and Mrs. Simpson have a beautiful garden and + grow most of their own vegetables. We sit in it a great deal and I think + of all that has passed. I hope ever that it has been for the best and pray + for you always. Oh that your feet may be set in the right path and that we + may walk hand in hand upon the way to Zion!'” Lindsay lowered his voice + and read the last sentences rapidly, as if the propulsion of the first + part of the letter sent him through them. Then he stopped abruptly, and + Alicia looked up. + </p> + <p> + “That's all, only,” he added, with an awkward smile, “the usual formula.” + </p> + <p> + “'God bless you'?” she asked, and he nodded. + </p> + <p> + “It has a more genuine ring than most formulas,” she observed. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, hasn't it? May I have another cup?” He restored the pink sheet to + its pink envelope, and both to his breast-pocket, while she poured out the + other cup, but Miss Filbert was still present with them. They went on + talking about her, and entirely in the tone of congratulation—the + suitability of the Simpsons, the suitability of Plymouth, the probability + that she would entirely recover, in its balmy atmosphere, her divine + singing voice. Plymouth certainly was in no sense a tonic, but Miss + Filbert didn't need a tonic; she was too much inclined to be strung up as + it was. What she wanted was the soothing, quieting influence of just + Plymouth's meetings and just Plymouth's teas. The charms that so sweetly + and definitely characterised her would expand there; it was a delightful + flowery environment for them, and she couldn't fail to improve in health. + Devonshire's visitors got tremendously well fed, with fish items of + especial excellence. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XX + </h2> + <p> + Nobody could have been more impressed with Hilda's influence upon Mr. + Llewellyn Stanhope's commercial probity than Mr. Llewellyn Stanhope + himself. He was a prey to all noble feelings; they ruled his life and + spoiled his bargains; and gratitude, when it had a chance, which was + certainly seldom in connection with leading ladies, dominated him + entirely. He sat in the bar of the Great Eastern Hotel with tears in his + eyes, talking about what Miss Howe had done for him, and gave unnecessary + backsheesh to coolies who brought him small bills—so long, that is, + as they were the small bills of this season. When they had reference to + the liabilities of a former and less prosperous year he waved them away + with a bitter levity which belonged to the same period. His view of his + obligations was strictly chronological, and in taking it he counted, like + the poet, only happy hours. The bad debt and the bad season went + consistently together to oblivion; the sun of to-day's remarkable receipts + could not be expected to penetrate backwards. + </p> + <p> + He had only one fault to find with Miss Howe—she had no artistic + conscience—none, and he found this with the utmost leniency, basking + in the consciousness that it made his own more conspicuous. She was + altogether in the grand style, if you understood Mr. Stanhope, but nothing + would induce her to do herself justice before Calcutta; she seemed to have + taken the measure of the place and to be as indifferent! Try to ring in + anything worth doing and she was off with the bit between her teeth, and + you simply had to put up with it. The second lead had a great deal more + ambition, and a very good little woman in her way, too, but of course not + half the talent. He was obliged to confess that Miss Howe wasn't game for + risks, especially after doing her Rosalind the night the circus opened to + a twenty-five rupee house. It WAS monstrous. She seemed to think that + nothing mattered so much as that everybody should be paid on the first of + the month. There was one other grievance, which Llewellyn mentioned only + in confidence with a lowered voice. That was Bradley. Hilda wasn't lifting + a finger to keep Bradley. Result was, Bradley was crooking his elbow a + great deal too often lately and going off every way. He, Llewellyn, had + put it to her if that was the way to treat a man the Daily Telegraph had + spoken about as it had spoken about Hamilton Bradley. Where was she—where + was he—going to find another? No, he didn't say marry Bradley; there + were difficulties, and after all that might be the very way to lose him. + But a woman had an influence, and that influence could never be more + fittingly exercised than in the cause of dramatic art based on Mr. + Stanhope's combinations. Mr. Stanhope expressed himself with a difference, + but it came to that. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps if you pursued Llewellyn, pushed him, as it were, along the track + of what he had to put up with, you would have come upon the further fact + that as a woman of business Miss Howe had no parallel for procrastination. + Next season was imminent in his arrangements, as Christmas numbers are + imminent to publishers at midsummer, and here she was shying at a contract + as if they had months for consideration. It wasn't either as if she + complained of anything in the terms—that would be easy enough fixed—but + she said herself that it was a bigger salary than he, Llewellyn, would + ever be able to pay unless she went round with the hat. Nor had she any + objection to the tour—a fascinating one—including the Pacific + Slope and Honolulu. It stumped him, Llewellyn, to know what she did object + to, and why she couldn't bark it out at once, seeing she must understand + perfectly well it was no use his going to Bradley without first settling + with her. + </p> + <p> + Hilda, alone in her own apartment—it was difficult to keep Llewellyn + Stanhope away from even that door in his pursuit of her signature—considered + the vagary life had become for her that was so whimsical, and the mystery + of her secret which was so solely hers. Alicia knew, of course; but that + was as if she had written it down on a sheet of perfect notepaper and + locked it up in a drawer. Alicia did not speculate about it, and the whole + soul of it was tangled now in a speculation. There had been a time filled + with the knowledge and the joy of this new depth in her like a buoyant + sea, and she had been content to float in it, imagining desirable things. + Stanhope's waiting contract made a limit to the time—a limit she + brought up against without distress or shock, but with a kind of + recognising thrill in contact at last with the necessity for action, + decision, a climax of high heart-beats. She saw with surprise that she had + lived with her passion these weeks and months half consciously expecting + that a crucial moment would dissolve it, like a person aware that he + dreams and will presently awake. She had not faced till now any exigency + of her case. But the crucial moment had leapt upon her, pointing out the + subjection of her life, and she, undefended, sought only how to accomplish + her bonds. + </p> + <p> + Certainly she saw no solution that did not seem monstrous; yet every pulse + in her demanded a solution; there was no questioning the imperious need. + She had the fullest, clearest view of the situation, and she looked at it + without flinching and without compromise. Above all she had true vision of + Stephen Arnold, glorifying nowhere, extenuating nothing. It was almost + cruel to be the victim of such circumstance, and be denied the soft uses + of illusion; but if that note of sympathy had been offered to Hilda she + would doubtless have retorted that it was precisely because she saw him + that she loved him. His figure, in its poverty and austerity, was always + with her; she made with the fabric of her nature a kind of shrine for it, + enclosing, encompassing; and her possession of him, by her knowledge, was + deep and warm and protecting. I think the very fulness of it brought her a + kind of content with which, but for Llewellyn and his contract, she would + have been willing to go on indefinitely. It made him hers in a primary and + essential way, beside which any mere acknowledgment or vow seemed chiefly + decorative, like the capital of a pillar firmly rooted. There may be an + appearance that she took a good deal for granted; if there is, I fear that + in the baldness of this history it has not been evident how much and how + variously Arnold depended on her, in how many places her colour and her + vitality patched out the monkish garment of his soul. This with her + enthusiasm and her cognisance. It may be remembered, too, that there was + in the very tenderness of her contemplation of the priest in her path an + imperious tinge born of the way men had so invariably melted there. + Certainly they had been men and not priests; but the little flickering + doubt that sometimes leaped from this source through the glow of her + imagination she quenched very easily with the reflection that such a + superficies was after all a sophistry, and that only its rudiments were + facts. She proposed, calmly and lovingly, to deal with the facts. + </p> + <p> + She told herself that she would not be greedy about the conditions under + which she should prevail; but her world had always, always shaped itself + answering her hand, and if she cast her eyes upon the ground now, and left + the future, even to-morrow, undevisaged, it was because she would not find + any concessions of her own among its features if she could help it. It was + a trick she played upon her consciousness; she would not look, but she + could see without looking. She saw that which explained itself to be best, + fittest, most reasonable; and thus she sometimes wandered with Arnold + anticipatively, on afternoons when there was no matinee, through the + perfumed orange orchards of Los Angeles, on the Pacific slope. + </p> + <p> + She would not search to-morrow; but she took toward it one of those steps + of vague intention, at the end of which we beckon to possibilities. She + wrote to Stephen and asked him to come to see her then. She had not spoken + to him since the night of the Viceroy's party, when she put her Bohemian + head out of the ticca-gharry to wish him good-night, and he walked home + alone under the stars, trying to remember a line of Horace, a chaste one, + about woman's beauty. She sent the note by post. There was no answer; but + that was as usual; there never was an answer unless something prevented + him; he always came, and ten minutes before the time. When the time + arrived she sat under the blue umbrellas devising what she would say, + creating fifty different forms of what he would say, while the hands + slipped round the clock past the moment that should have brought his step + to the door. Hilda noted it, and compared her watch. A bowl of roses stood + on a little table near a window; she got up and went to it, bending over + and rearranging the flowers. The light fell on her and on the roses; it + was a beautiful attitude, and when at a footfall she looked up expectantly + it was more beautiful. But it was only another boarder—a Mr. + Gonzalves, with a highly varnished complexion, who took off his hat + elaborately as he passed the open door. She became conscious of her use of + the roses, and abandoned them. Presently she sat down on a bentwood + rocking-chair, and swayed to and fro, aware of an ebbing of confidence. + Half an hour later she was still sitting there. Her face had changed, + something had faded in it; her gaze at the floor was profoundly + speculative, and when she glanced at the empty door it was with timidity. + Arnold had not come and did not come. + </p> + <p> + The evening passed without explanation, and next morning the post brought + no letter. It was simplest to suppose that her own had not reached him, + and Hilda wrote again. The second letter she sent by hand, with a separate + sheet of paper addressed for signature. The messenger brought back the + sheet of paper with strange initials, “J. L. for S. A.,” and there was no + reply. There remained the possibility of absence from Calcutta, of + illness. That he should have gone away was most unlikely, that he had + fallen ill was only too probable. Hilda looked from her bedroom window + across the varying expanse of parapeted flat roofs and mosque bubbles that + lay between her and College Street, and curbed the impulse in her feet + that would have resulted in the curious spectacle of Llewellyn Stanhope's + leading lady calling in person at a monastic gate to express a kind of + solicitude against which precisely it was barred. A situation after all + could be too pictorial, looked at from the point of view of the Order, a + consideration which flashed with grateful humour across her anxiety. + Alicia would have known; but both the Livingstones had gone for a short + sea change to Ceylon, with Duff Lindsay and some touring people from + Surrey. They were most anxious, Hilda remembered, that Arnold should + accompany them. Could he in the end have gone? There was, of course, the + accredited fount and source of all information, the Father Superior; but + with what propriety could Hilda Howe apply for it! Llewellyn might write + for her; but it was glaringly impossible that the situation should lay + itself so far open to Llewellyn. Looking in vain for resources she came + upon an expedient. She found a sheet of cheap notepaper, and made it a + little greasy. On it she wrote with red ink, in the cramped hand of the + hired scribe of the bazar:— + </p> + <p> + “SIR—Will you please to inform to me if Mr. Arnold has gone mofussil + or England as I have some small business with him. Yours obedient servant,—WUN + SING.” + </p> + <p> + “It can't be forgery,” she reflected, “since there isn't a Wun Sing,” and + added an artistic postscript, “Boots and shoes verry much cheap for cash.” + She made up the envelope to match, and addressed it with consistent + illiteracy to the head of the Mission. The son of the Chinese basketmaker, + who dwelt almost next door, spoke neither English nor Hindustani, but + showed an easy comprehension of her promise of backsheesh when he should + return with an answer. She had a joyful anticipation, while she waited, of + the terms in which she should tell Arnold how she passed disguised as a + Chinese shoemaker, before the receptive and courteous consciousness of his + spiritual senior; of how she penetrated, in the suggestion of a pigtail + and an unpaid bill, within the last portals that might be expected to + receive her in the form under which, for example, certain black and yellow + posters were presenting her to the public at that moment. She saw his + scruples go swiftly down before her laughter and the argument of her + tender anxiety, which she was quite prepared to learn foolish and + unnecessary. There was even an adventurous instant in which she reaped at + actual personation of the Chinaman, and she looked in rapture at the vivid + risk of the thing before she abandoned it as involving too much. She sent + no receipt form this time—that was not the practice of the bazar—and + when, hours after, her messenger returned with weariness and dejection + written upon him, in the characters of a perfunctory Chinese smile, she + could only gather from his negative head and hands that no answer had been + given him, and that her expedient had failed. + </p> + <p> + Hilda stared at her dilemma. Its properties were curiously simple. His + world and hers, with the same orbit, had no point of contact. Once + swinging round their eastern centre they had come close enough for these + two, leaning very far out, to join hands. When they loosed it seemed they + lost. + </p> + <p> + The more she gazed at it the more it looked a preposterous thing that in a + city vibrant with human communication by all the methods which make it + easy, it should be possible for one individual thus to drop suddenly and + completely from the knowledge of another—a mediaeval thing. Their + isolation as Europeans of course accounted for it; there was no medium in + the brown population that hummed in the city streets. Hilda could not even + bribe a servant without knowing how to speak to him. She ravaged the + newspapers; they never were more bare of reference to consecrated labours. + The nearest approach to one was a paragraph chronicling a social evening + given by the Wesleyans in Sudder Street, with an exhibition of the + cinematograph. In a moment of defiance and determination she sent a + telegram studiously colourless, “Unable find you wish communicate please + inform. A. Cassidy.” Arnold had never ignored the name she was born to, in + occasional scrupulous moments he addressed her by it; he would recognise + and understand. There was no reply. + </p> + <p> + The enigma pressed upon her days, she lived in the heaviness of it, + waiting. His silence adding itself up, brought her a kind of shame for the + exertions she had made. She turned with obstinacy from the further schemes + her ingenuity presented. Out of the sum of her unsuccessful efforts grew a + reproach of Arnold; every one of them increased it. His behaviour she + could forgive, arbitrarily putting against it twenty explanations, but not + the futility of what she had done. Her resentment of that undermined all + the fairness of her logic and even triumphed over the sword of her + suspense. She never quite gave up the struggle, but in effect she passed + the week that intervened pinioned in her unreason—bands that + vanished as she looked at them, only to tie her thrice in another place. + </p> + <p> + Life became a permanent interrogation point. Waiting under it, with a + perpetual upward gaze, perhaps she grew a little dizzy. The sun of March + had been increasing, and the air of one particular Saturday afternoon had + begun to melt and glow and hang in the streets with a kind of inertia, + like a curtain that had to be parted to be penetrated. Hilda came into the + house and faced the stairs with an inclination to leave her body on the + ground-floor and mount in spirit only. When she glanced in at the + drawing-room door and saw Arnold sitting under the blue umbrellas, a + little paler, a thought more serene than usual, she swept into the room as + if a tide carried her, and sank down upon a footstool close to him, as if + it had dropped her there. He had risen at her appearance, he was all + himself but rather more the priest, his face of greeting had exactly its + usual asking intelligence but to her the fact that he was normal was lost + in the fact that he was near. He held out his hand but she only sought his + face, speechless, hugging her knees. + </p> + <p> + “You are overcome by the sun,” he said. “Lie down for a moment,” and again + he offered her a hand to help her to rise. She shook her head but took his + hand, enclosing it in both of hers with a sort of happy deliberation, and + drew herself up by it, while her eyes, shining like dark surfaces of some + glorious consciousness within, never left his face. So she stood beside + him with her head bowed, still dumb. It was her supreme moment; life never + again brought her anything like it. It was not that she confessed so much + as that she asserted, she made a glowing thing plain, cried out to him, + still standing silent, the deep-lying meaning of the tangle of their + lives. She was shaken by a pure delight, as if she unclosed her hand to + show him a strange jewel in her palm, hers and his for the looking. The + intensity of her consciousness swept round him and enclosed him, she knew + this profoundly, and had no thought of the insulation he had in his robe. + The instant passed; he stood unmoved definitely enough, yet some vibration + in it reached him, for there was surprise in his involuntary backward + step. + </p> + <p> + “You must have thought me curiously rude,” he said, as if he felt about + for an explanation, “but your letters were only given to me an hour ago. + We have all been in retreat, you know.” + </p> + <p> + “In RETREAT!” Hilda exclaimed. “Ah, yes. How foolish I have been! In + retreat,” she repeated softly, flicking a trace of dust from his sleeve. + “Of course.” + </p> + <p> + “It was held in St. Paul's College,” Stephen went on, “by Father Neede. + Shall we sit down? And of course at such times no communications reach us, + no letters or papers.” + </p> + <p> + “No letters or papers,” Hilda said, looking at him softly, as it were, + through the film of the words. They sat down, he on the sofa, she on a + chair very near it. There was another placed at a more usual distance, but + she seemed incapable of taking the step or two toward it, away from him. + </p> + <p> + Stephen gave himself to the grateful sense of her proximity. He had come + to sun himself again in the warmth of her fellowship; he was stirred by + her emphasis of their separation and reunion. “And what, please,” he + asked, “have you been doing? Account to me for the time.” + </p> + <p> + “While you have been praying and fasting? Wondering what you were at, and + waiting for you to finish. Waiting,” she said, and clasped her knees with + her intent look again, swaying a little to and fro in her content, as if + that which she waited for had already come, full, and very desirable. + </p> + <p> + “Have you been reading?—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I have been reading nothing! You shall never go into retreat again,” + she went on, with a sudden change of expression. “It is well enough for + you, but I am not good at fasting. And I have an indulgence,” she added, + unaware of her soft, bright audacity, “that will cover both our cases.” + </p> + <p> + His face uttered aloud his reflection that she was extravagant. That it + was a pity, but that what was not due to her profession might be ascribed + to the simple, clear impulse of her temperament—that temperament + which he had found to be a well of rare sincerity. + </p> + <p> + “I am not to go any more into retreat?” he said, in grave interrogation; + but the hint of rebuke in his voice was not in his heart, and she knew it. + </p> + <p> + “No!” she cried. “You shall not be hidden away like that. You shall not go + alive into the tomb and leave me at the door. Because I cannot bear it.” + </p> + <p> + She leaned toward him, and her hand fell lightly on his knee. It was a + claiming touch, and there was something in the unfolded sweetness of her + face that was not ambiguous. Arnold received the intelligence. It came in + a vague grey monitory form, a cloud, a portent, a chill menace; but it + came, and he paled under it. He seemed to lean upon his hands, pressed one + on each side of him to the seat of the sofa for support, and he looked in + fixed silence at hers, upon his knee. His face seemed to wither, new lines + came upon it as the impression grew in him; and the glamour faded out of + hers as she was sharply reminded, looking at him, that he had not + traversed the waste with her, that she had kept her vigils alone. Yet it + was all said and done, and there was no repentance in her. She only + gathered herself together, and fell back, as it were, upon her magnificent + position. As she drew her hand away, he dropped his face into the cover of + his own, leaning his elbow on his knee, and there was a pulsing silence. + The instant prolonged itself. + </p> + <p> + “Are you praying?” Hilda asked, with much gentleness, almost a childlike + note; and he shook his head. There was another, instant's pause, and she + spoke again. + </p> + <p> + “Are you so grieved, then,” she said, “that this has come upon us?” + </p> + <p> + Again he held his eyes away from her, clasping his hands, and looking at + the thing nearest to him, while at last blood from the heart of the + natural man in him came up and stained his face, his forehead under the + thin ruffling of colourless hair, his neck above the white band that was + his badge of difference from other men. + </p> + <p> + “I—fear—I hardly understand,” he said. The words fell cramped + and singly, and his lip twitched. “It—it is impossible to think—” + He looked as if he dared not lift his head. + </p> + <p> + One would not say that Hilda hesitated, for there was no failing in the + wings of her high confidence, but she looked at him in a brave silence. + Her glance had tender investigation in it; she stood on the brink of her + words just long enough to ask whether they would hurt him. Seeing that + they would, she nevertheless plunged, but with infinite compassion and + consideration. She spoke like an agent of Fate, conscious and grieved. + </p> + <p> + “<i>I</i> understand,” she said simply. “Sometimes, you know, we are + quicker. And you in your cell, how should you find out? That is why I must + tell you, because, though I am a woman, you are a priest. Partly for that + reason I may speak, partly because I love you, Stephen Arnold, better and + more ardently than you can ever love me, or anybody, I think, except + perhaps your God. And I am tired of keeping silence.” + </p> + <p> + She was so direct, so unimpassioned, that half his distress turned to + astonishment, and he faced her as if a calm and reasoned hand had been + laid upon the confusion in him. Meeting his gaze, she unbarred a floodgate + of happy tenderness in her eyes. + </p> + <p> + “Love!” he gasped in it, “I have nothing to do with that.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” she said, “you have everything to do with it.” + </p> + <p> + Something thrilled him without asking his permission, assuring him that he + was a man—until then a placid theory with an unconscious basis. It + was therefore a blow to his saintship, or it would have been, but he + warded it off, flushed and trembling. It was as if he had been ambuscaded. + He had to hold himself from the ignominy of flight; he rose to cut his way + out, making an effort to strike with precision. + </p> + <p> + “Some perversity has seized you,” he said. The muscles about his mouth + quivered, giving him a curious aspect. “You mean nothing of what you say.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you believe that?” + </p> + <p> + “I—I cannot think anything else. It is the only way I can—I + can—make excuse.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, don't excuse me!” she murmured, with an astonishing little gay + petulance. + </p> + <p> + “You cannot have thought—” in spite of himself he made a step + towards the door. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I did think—I do think. And you must not go.” She too stood up, + and stayed him. “Let us at least see clearly.” There was a persuading note + in her voice, one would have thought that she was dealing with a patient + or a child. “Tell me,” she clasped her hands behind her back and looked at + him in marvellous simple candour, “do I really announce this to you? Was + there not in yourself anywhere—deep down—any knowledge of it?” + </p> + <p> + “I did not guess—I did not dream!” + </p> + <p> + “And—now?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + A heavenly current drifted from her, the words rose and fell on it with + the most dazing suggestion in their soft hesitancy. It must have been by + an instinct of her art that her hand went up to the cross on Arnold's + breast and closed over it, so that he should see only her. The familiar + vision of her stood close, looking things intolerably new and different. + Again came out of it that sudden liberty, that unpremeditated rush and + shock in him. He paled with indignation, with the startled resentment of a + woman wooed and hostile. His face at last expressed something definite, it + was anger; he stepped back and caught at his hat. “I am sorry,” he said, + “I am sorry. I thought you infinitely above and beyond all that.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda smiled and turned away. If he chose it was his opportunity to go, + but he stood regarding her, twirling his hat. She sat down, clasping her + knees, and looked at the floor. There was a square of sunlight on the + carpet, and motes were rising in it. + </p> + <p> + “Ah well, so did I,” she said meditatively, without raising her eyes. Then + she leaned back in the chair and looked at him, in her level simple way. + </p> + <p> + “It was a foolish theory,” she said, “and—now—I can't + understand it at all. I am amazed to find that it even holds good with + you.” + </p> + <p> + It was so much in the tone of their usual discussions that Arnold was + conscious of a lively relief. The instinct of flight died down in him; he + looked at her with something like inquiry. + </p> + <p> + “It will always be to me curious,” she went on, “that you could have + thought your part in me so limited, so poor. That is enough to say. I find + it hard to understand, anybody would, that you could take so much good + from me and not—so much more.” She opened her lips again, but kept + back the words. “Yes,” she added, “that is enough to say.” + </p> + <p> + But for the colourless face and the tenseness about her lips it might have + been thought that she definitely abandoned what she had learned she could + not have. There was a note of acquiescence and regret in her voice, of + calm reason above all; and this sense reached him, induced him to listen, + as he generally listened, for anything she might find that would explain + the situation. His fingers went from habit, as a man might play with his + watch chain, to the symbol of his faith; her eyes followed them, and + rested mutely on the cross. There was a profundity of feeling in them, + wistful, acknowledging, deeply speculative. “You could not forget that?” + she said, and shook her head as if she answered herself. He looked into + her upturned face and saw that her eyes were swimming. + </p> + <p> + “Never!” he said, “Never!” but he walked to the nearest chair and sat + down. He seemed suddenly endowed with the courage to face this problem, + and his head, as it rose in the twilight against the window, was grave and + calm. Without a word a great tenderness of understanding filled the space + between them; an interpreting compassion went to and fro. Suddenly a new + light dawned in Hilda's eyes, she leaned forward and met his in an + absorption which caught them out of themselves into some space where souls + wander, and perhaps embrace. It was a frail adventure upon a gaze, but it + carried them infinitely far. The moment died away, neither of them could + have measured it, and when it had finally ebbed—they were conscious + of every subsiding throb—the silence remained, like a margin for the + beauty of it. They sat immovable, while the light faded. After a time the + woman spoke. “Once before,” she began, but he put up his hand, and she + stopped. Then as if she would no longer be restrained. “That is all I + want,” she whispered. “That is enough.” + </p> + <p> + For a time they said very little, looking back upon their divine moment; + the shadows gathered in the corners of the room and made quiet + conversation which was almost audible in the pauses. Then Hilda began to + speak, steadily, calmly. You, too, would have forgotten her folly in what + she found to say, as Arnold did; you too would have drawn faith and + courage from her face. One would not be irreverent, but if this woman were + convicted of the unforgiveable sin, she could explain it, and obtain + justification rather than pardon. Her horizon had narrowed, she sought now + only that it should enfold them both. She begged that he would wipe out + her insanity, that he would not send her away. He listened and melted to + conviction. + </p> + <p> + “Then I may stay?” she said at the end. + </p> + <p> + “I am satisfied—if a way can be found.” + </p> + <p> + “I will find a way,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + After which he went back through the city streets to his disciples in new + humility and profounder joy, knowing that virtue had gone out of him. She + in her room where she lodged also considered the miracle, twice wonderful + in that it asked no faith of her. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXI + </h2> + <p> + It is difficult to be precise about such a thing, but I should think that + Hilda gave herself to the marvellous aspect of what had come and gone + between them, for several hours after Arnold left her. It was not for some + time, at all events, that she arrived at the consideration—the + process was naturally downward—that the soul of the marvel lay in + the exact moment of its happening. Nothing could have been more + heaven-sent than her precious perception, exactly then, that before the + shining gift of Arnold's spiritual sympathy, all her desire for a lesser + thing from him must creep away abashed for ever. Even when the lesser + thing, by infinitely gradual expansion, again became the greater, it + remained permanently leavened and lifted in her by the strange and lovely + incident that had taken for the moment such command of her and of him. She + would not question it or reason about it, perhaps with an instinct to + avert its destruction; she simply drew it deeply into her content. Only + its sweet deception did not stay with her, and she let that go with open + hands. She wanted, more than ever, the whole of Stephen Arnold, all that + was so openly the Mission's and all that was so evidently God's. It will + be seen that she felt in no way compelled to advise him of this her + backsliding. I doubt whether such a perversion of her magnificent course + of action ever occurred to her. It was magnificent, for it entailed a high + disregarding stroke; it implied a sublime confidence of what the end would + be, a capacity to wait and endure. She smiled buoyantly, in the intervals + of arranging it, at the idea that Stephen Arnold stood beyond her ultimate + possession. + </p> + <p> + There were difficulties, but the moment was favourable to her, more + favourable than it would have been the year before, or any year but this. + Before ten days had passed she was able to write to Arnold describing her + plan, and she was put to it to keep the glow of success out of her letter. + She kept it out, that, and everything but a calm and humble statement—any + Clarke Brother might have dictated it—of what she proposed to do. + Perhaps the intention was less obvious than the desire that he should + approve it. + </p> + <p> + The messenger waited long by the entrance to the Mission House for an + answer, exchanging, sitting on his feet, the profane talk of the bazar + with the gatekeeper of the Christians. Stephen was in chapel. There was no + service; he had half an hour to rest in and he rested there. He was + speculating, in the grateful dimness, about the dogma—he had never + quite accepted it, though Colquhoun had—of the intercessory power of + the souls of saints. A converted Brahmin, an old man, had died the day + before. Arnold luxuriated in the humility of thinking that he would be + glad of any good word dear old Nourendra Lal could say for him. The chapel + was deliciously refined. The scent of fresh cut flowers floated upon the + continual presence of the incense; a lily outlined its head against the + tall carved altarpiece the Brothers had brought from Damascus. The seven + brass lamps that hung from the rafters above the altar rails were also + Damascene, carved and pierced so that the light in them was a still thing + like a prayer; and the place breathed vague meanings which did not ask + understanding. It was a refuge from the riot and squalor of the + whitewashed streets with a double value and a treble charm—I.H.S. + among plaster gods, a sanctuary in the bazar. Stephen sat in it + motionless, with his lean limbs crossed in front of him, until the + half-hour was up; then he bent his knee before the altar and went out to + meet a servant at the door with Hilda's letter. The chapel opened upon an + upper verandah, he crossed it to get a better light and stood to read with + his back half turned upon the comers and goers. + </p> + <p> + It was her first communication since they parted, and in spite of its + colourlessness it seemed to lay strong eager hands upon him, turning his + shoulder that way, upon the world, bending his head over the page. He had + not dwelt much upon their strange experience, in the days that followed. + It had retreated, for him, behind the veil of tender mystery with which he + shrouded, even from his own eyes, the things that lay between his soul and + God. The space from that day to this had been more than usually full of + ministry; its pure uses had fallen like snow, blotting and deadening the + sudden wonder that blossomed then. Latterly he had hardly thought of it. + </p> + <p> + So far was he removed, so deeply drawn again within his familiar + activities, that he regarded Hilda's letter for an instant with a lip of + censure, as if, for some reason, it should not have been admitted. It was, + in a manner, her physical presence, the words expanded into her, through + it she walked back into his life, with an interrogation. Standing there by + the pillar he became gradually aware of the weight of the interrogation. + </p> + <p> + A passing Brother cast at him the sweet smile of the cloister. Arnold + stopped him and transferred an immediate duty, which the other accepted + with a slightly exaggerated happiness. They might have been girls + together, with their apologies and protestations. The other Brother went + on in a little glow of pleasure, Arnold turned back into the chapel, + carrying, it seemed to him, a woman's life in his hand. + </p> + <p> + He took his seat and folded his arms almost eagerly; there was a light of + concentration in his eye and a line of compression about his lips which + had not marked his meditation upon Nourendra Lal. The vigour in his face + suggested that he found a kind of athletic luxury in what he had to think + about. Brother Colquhoun, with his flat hat clasped before his breast, + passed down the aisle. Stephen looked up with a trace of impatience. + Presently he rose hurriedly as if he remembered something, and went and + knelt before one of several paintings that hung upon the chapel walls. + They were old copies of great works, discoloured and damaged. They had + sailed round the Cape to India when the century was young, and a lady + friend of the Mission had bought them at the sale of the effects of a + ruined Begum. Arnold was one of those who could separate them from their + incongruous history and consecrate them over again. He often found them + helpful when he sought to lift his spirit, and in any special matter a + special comfort. He bent for ten minutes before a Crucifixion, and then + hastened back to his place. Only one reflection corrected the vigorous + satisfaction with which he thought out Hilda's proposition. That disturbed + him in the middle of it, and took the somewhat irrelevant form of a + speculation as to whether the events of their last meeting should have had + any place in his Thursday confession. He was able to find almost at once a + conscientious negative for it, and it did not recur again. + </p> + <p> + He got up reluctantly when the Mission bell sounded, and indeed he had + come to the end of a very absorbing interest. His decision was final + against Hilda's scheme. His worn experience cried out at the sacrifice in + it without the illumination—which it would certainly lack—of + religious faith. She confessed to the lack, and that was all she had to + say about her motive, which, of course, placed him at an immense + disadvantage in considering it. But the question then descended to another + plane, became merely a doubt as to the most useful employment of energy, + and that doubt nobody could entertain long, nobody of reasonable breadth + of view, who had ever seen her expressing the ideals of the stage. Arnold + did his best to ward off all consideration which he could suspect of a + personal origin, but his inveterate self-sacrifice slipped in and counted, + naturally enough, under another guise, against her staying. + </p> + <p> + He went to his room and wrote to Hilda at once, the kindest, simplest of + letters, but conveying a definitely negative note. He would have been + perhaps more guarded, but it was so plainly his last word to her; + Llewellyn Stanhope was proclaiming the departure of his people in ten + days' time upon every blank wall. So he gave himself a little latitude, he + let in an undercurrent of gentle reminiscence, of serious assurance as to + the difference she had made. And when he had finally bade her begone to + the light and fulness of her own life, and fastened up his letter, he + deliberately lifted it to his lips and placed a trembling, awkward kiss + upon it, like the kiss of an old man, perfunctory yet bearing a tender + intention. + </p> + <p> + The Livingstones and Duff Lindsay had come back, the people from Surrey + having been sped upon their way to the Far East. Stephen remembered with + more than his usual relish an engagement to dine that evening in Middleton + Street. He involuntarily glanced at his watch. It was half-past one. The + afternoon looked arid, stretching between. Consulting his tablets he found + that he had nothing that was really of any consequence to do. There were + items, but they were unimportant, transferable. He had dismissed Hilda + Howe, but a glow from the world she helped to illumine showed seductively + at the end of his day. He made an errand involving a long walk, and came + back at an hour which left nothing but evensong between him and eight + o'clock. + </p> + <p> + He was suddenly aware as he talked to her later, of a keener edge to his + appreciation of the charm of Alicia Livingstone. Her voyage, he assured + her, had done her all the good in the world. Her delicate bloom had + certainly been enhanced by it, and the graceful spring of her neck and her + waist seemed to have its counterpart in a freshened poise of the agreeable + things she found to say. It was delightful the way she declared herself + quite a different being, and the pleasure with which she moved, dragging + fascinating skirts behind her, about the room. She made more of an + impression upon him on the aesthetic side than she had ever done before; + she seemed more highly vitalised, her fineness had greater relief, and her + charm more freedom. Lindsay was there, and Arnold glanced from one to the + other of them, first with a start then with a smile, at the recollection + of Hilda's conception of their relations. If this were a type and instance + of hopeless love he had certainly misread all the songs and sayings. He + kept the idea in his mind and went on regarding her in the light of it + with a pondering smile, turning it over and finding a lively pleasure in + his curious acumen in such an unwonted direction. It was a very flower of + emotional naivete, though a moment later he cast it from him as a weed, + grown in idleness; and indeed it might have abashed him to say what + concern it had in the mind of the Order of St. Barnabas. It was + gratifying, nevertheless, to have his observation confirmed by the way in + which Alicia leaned across him toward Lindsay with occasional references + to Laura Filbert, apparently full of light-heartedness, references which + Duff received in the square-shouldered matter-of-course fashion of his + countrymen approaching their nuptials in any quarter of the globe. It was + gratifying, and yet it enhanced in Stephen this evening the indrawing of + his under-lip, a plaintive twist of expression which spoke upon the faces + of quite half the Order, of patience under privation. + </p> + <p> + The atmosphere was one of congratulation, the week's Gazette had + transformed Surgeon-Major Livingstone into Surgeon-Lieutenant-Colonel. The + officer thus promoted, in a particularly lustrous shirt bosom, made a + serious social effort to correspond, and succeeded in producing more than + one story of the Principal Medical Officer with her Majesty's forces in + India, which none of them had heard before. They were all delighted at + Herbert's step, he was just the kind of person to get a step, and to get + it rather early; a sense of the propriety of it mingled with the general + gratification. There was a feeling of ease among them, too, of the + indefeasibly won, which the event is apt to bring even when the + surgeon-lieutenant-colonelcy is most strikingly deserved. With no strain + imaginable one could see the relaxation. + </p> + <p> + “We can't do much in celebration,” Lindsay was saying, “but I've got a box + at the theatre, if you'll come. Our people had some pomfret and oysters + over on ice from Bombay this morning, and I've sent my share to Bonsard to + see what he can do with it for supper. Jack Cummins and Lady Dolly are + coming. By the way, what do you think the totalizator paid Lady Dolly on + Saturday—six thousand!” + </p> + <p> + “Rippin',” Herbert agreed. “We'll all come—at least—I don't + know. What do you say, Arnold?” + </p> + <p> + “Of course Stephen will come,” Alicia urged. “Why not?” It was putting him + and his gown at once beyond the operation of vulgar prejudice, intimating + that they quite knew him for what he was. + </p> + <p> + “What's the piece?” Herbert inquired. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, the piece isn't up to much, I'm afraid, only that Hilda Howe is worth + seeing in almost anything.” + </p> + <p> + “Thanks,” Stephen put in, “but I think, thanks very much, I would rather + not.” + </p> + <p> + “I remember,” Alicia said, “you were with us the night she played in The + Offence of Galilee. I don't wonder that you do not wish to disturb that + impression.” + </p> + <p> + Stephen fixed his eyes upon a small pyramid of crystallised cherries + immediately in front of him, and appeared to consider, austerely, what + form his reply should take. There was an instant's perceptible pause, and + then he merely bowed toward Alicia as if vaguely to acknowledge the + kindness of her recollection. “I think,” he said again, “that I will not + accompany you to-night, if you will be good enough to excuse me.” + </p> + <p> + “You must excuse us both,” Alicia said definitely, “I should much rather + stay at home and talk to Stephen.” + </p> + <p> + At this they all cried out, but Miss Livingstone would not change her + mind. “I haven't seen him for three weeks,” she said, with gentle + effrontery, making nothing of his presence, “and he's much more improving + than either of you. I also shall choose the better part.” + </p> + <p> + “How you can call it that, with Hilda in the balance—” Duff + protested. + </p> + <p> + “But then you've invited Lady Dolly. After winning six thousand there will + be no holding Lady Dolly. She'll be capable of cat-calls! How I should + love,” Alicia went on, “to have Hilda meet her. She would be a mine to + Hilda.” + </p> + <p> + “For pity's sake,” cried her brother, “stop asking Hilda and people who + are a mine to Hilda! It's too perceptible, the way she digs in them.” + </p> + <p> + “You dear old thing, you're quite clever to-night! What difference does it + make? They never know—they never dream! I wish I could dig.” Alicia + looked pensively at the olive between her finger and thumb. + </p> + <p> + “Thank Heaven you can't,” Duff said warmly. It was a little odd, the + personal note. Alicia's eyes remained upon the olive. + </p> + <p> + “It's all she lives for.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” Duff declared, “I can imagine higher ends.” + </p> + <p> + “You're not abusing Hilda!” Alicia said, addressing the olive. + </p> + <p> + “Not at all. Only vindicating you.” + </p> + <p> + It did single them out, this fencing. Herbert and Arnold sat as + spectators, pushed, in a manner, aside. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose she will be off soon,” Livingstone said. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, dreadfully soon. On the fifteenth. I had a note from her to-day.” + </p> + <p> + “Did she say she was going?” Stephen asked quickly. + </p> + <p> + “She mentioned the Company—she is the Company surely.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, undoubtedly. May I—might I ask for a little more soda-water, + Alicia?” He made the request so formally that she glanced at him with + surprise. + </p> + <p> + “Please do—but isn't it very odious, by itself, that way? I suppose + we shouldn't leave out Hamilton Bradley—he certainly counts.” + </p> + <p> + “For how much?” inquired her brother. “He's going to pieces.” + </p> + <p> + “Hilda can pull him together again,” Lindsay said incautiously. + </p> + <p> + “Has she an influence for good—over him?” Stephen inquired, and + cleared his throat. He caught a glance exchanged, and frowned. + </p> + <p> + “Oh yes,” Duff said, “I fancy it is for good. For good, certainly. The odd + part of it is that he began by having an influence over her which she + declares improved her acting. So that was for good, too, as it turned out. + I think she makes too much of him. To my mind he speaks like a bit of + consecrated stage tradition and looks like a bit of consecrated stage + furniture—he, and his thin nose, and his thin lips, and his thin + eyebrows. Personally, I'm sick of his eyebrows.” + </p> + <p> + “They'll end by marrying,” said Surgeon-Lieut.-Colonel Livingstone. + </p> + <p> + “HERBERT! How little you know her!” + </p> + <p> + “It's possible enough,” Duff said, “especially if she finds him in any way + necessary to her production of herself. Hilda has knocked about too much + to have many illusions. One is pretty sure she would place that first.” + </p> + <p> + “You are saying a thing which is monstrous!” cried Alicia. + </p> + <p> + Unperturbed, her brother supported his conviction. “She'll have to marry + him to get rid of him,” he said. “Fancy the opportunities of worrying her + the brute will have in those endless ocean voyages!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, if you think Hilda could be WORRIED into anything!” Miss Livingstone + exclaimed derisively. “If the man were irritating, do you suppose she + wouldn't arrange—wouldn't find means?—” + </p> + <p> + “She would have him put in irons, no doubt,” Herbert retorted, “or locked + up with the other sad dogs, in charge of the ship's butcher.” + </p> + <p> + The three laughed immoderately, and Stephen, looking up, came in at the + end with a smile. Alicia pronounced her brother too absurd, and unfitted + by nature to know anything about creatures like Hilda Howe. “A mere man to + begin with,” she said. “You haven't the ghost of a temperament, Herbert; + you know you haven't.” + </p> + <p> + “He got's a lovely bedside manner,” Lindsay remarked, “and that's the next + thing to it.” + </p> + <p> + “Rubbish! I don't want to hurry you,” Alicia glanced at the watch on her + wrist, “but unless you and Herbert want to miss half the first act you had + better be off. Stephen and I will have our coffee comfortably in the + drawing-room and find what excuses we can for you.” + </p> + <p> + But Stephen put out his hand with a movement of slightly rigid + deprecation. + </p> + <p> + “If it is not too vacillating of me,” he said, “and I may be forgiven, I + think I will change my mind, and go. I have no business to break up your + party, and besides, I shall probably not have another opportunity—I + should rather like to go. To the theatre, of course, that is. Not to + Bonsard's, thanks very much.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, do come on to Bonsard's,” Lindsay said, and Alicia protested that he + would miss the best of Lady Dolly, but Stephen was firm. Bonsard's was + beyond the limit of his indulgence. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXII + </h2> + <p> + Only the Sphinx confronted them after all when they arrived at the + theatre, the Sphinx and Lady Dolly. The older feminine presentment sent + her belittling gaze over their heads and beyond them from the curtain; + Lady Dolly turned a modish head to greet them from the front of the box. + Lady Dolly raised her eyes but not her elbows, which were assisting her a + good deal with the house in exploring and being explored, enabling Colonel + John Cummins, who sat by her side, to observe how very perfect and + adorable the cut of her bodice was. Since Colonel Cummins was accustomed + to say in moments when his humour escaped his discretion, things highly + appreciative of bodices, the role of Lady Dolly's elbows could hardly be + dismissed as unimportant. Moreover, the husband attached to the elbows + belonged to the Department of which Colonel John was the head, so that + they rested, one may say, upon a very special plane. + </p> + <p> + Alicia disturbed it with the necessity of taking Colonel Cummins place, + which Lady Dolly accepted with admirable spirit; assuring the usurper, + with the most engaging candour, that she simply ought never to be seen + without turquoises. “Believe it or not as you like, but I love you better + every time I see you in that necklace.” Lady Dolly clasped her hands, with + her fan in them, in the abandonment of her affection, and “love you + better” floated back and dispersed itself among the men. Alicia smiled the + necessary acknowledgment. All the women she knew made compliments to her; + it was a kind of cult among them. The men had sometimes an air of envying + their freedom of tongue. “Don't say that,” she returned lightly, “or + Herbert will never give me any diamonds.” She too looked her approval of + Lady Dolly's bodice, but said nothing. It was doubtless precisely because + she disdained certain forms of feminine barter that she got so much for + nothing. + </p> + <p> + “And where,” demanded Lady Dolly, in an electric whisper, “did you find + that dear sweet little priest? Do introduce him to me—at least by + and by, when I've thought of something to say. Let me see, wasn't it Good + Friday last week? I'll ask him if he had hot-cross buns—or do people + eat those on Boxing Day? Pancakes come in somewhere, if one could only be + sure!” + </p> + <p> + Stephen clung persistently to the back of the box. His senses were filled + for the moment by its other occupants, the men in the fresh correctness of + their evening dress, whose least gesture seemed to spring from an + indefinite fulness of life, the two women in front, a kind of lustrous + tableau of what it was possible to choose and to enjoy. They were grouped + and shut off in a high light which seemed to proceed partly from the usual + sources and partly from their own personalities; he saw them in a way + which underlined their significance at every point. It seemed to Stephen + that in a manner he profaned this temple of what he held to be poorest and + cheapest in life, a paradox of which he was but dimly aware in his + dejection. A sharp impression of his physical inferiority to the other men + assailed him; his appreciation of their muscular shoulders had a rasp in + it. For once the poverty of spirit to which he held failed to offer him a + refuge, his eye wandered restlessly as if attempting futile + reconciliations, and the thing most present with him was the worn-all-day + feeling about the neck of his cassock. He fixed his attention presently in + a climax of passive discomfort on the curtain, where unconsciously, his + gaze crept with a subtle interrogation in it to the wide eyeballs of the + Sphinx. + </p> + <p> + The stalls gradually filled, although it was a second production, in the + middle of the week, and although the gallery and the rupee seats under it + were nearly empty. The piece accounted for both. When Duff Lindsay said at + dinner that it wasn't “up to much,” he spoke, I fancy, from the nearest + point of view he could take to that of the Order of St. Barnabas. As a + matter of fact, The Victim of Virtue was up to a very great deal, but its + points were so delicate that one must have been educated rather broadly to + grasp them, which is again perhaps a foolish contrariety of terms. At all + events they carried no appeal to the theatre-goers from the sailing ships + in the river or the regiments in the fort, who turned as one than that + night to Jimmy Finnigan. + </p> + <p> + Stephen was aware, in the abstract, of what he might expect. He savoured + the enterprises of the London theatres weekly in the Saturday Review; he + had cast a remotely observing eye upon the productions of this particular + playwright through that medium for a long time. They formed a + manifestation of the outer world fit enough to draw a glance of + speculation from the inner; their author was an acrobat of ideas. + Doubtless we are all clowns in the eyes of the angels, yet we have the + habit of supposing that they sometimes look down upon us. It was thus, if + the parallel is not exaggerated, that Arnold regarded the author of The + Victim of Virtue. His attitude was quite taken before the orchestra ceased + playing; it was made of negation rather than criticism, on the basis that + he had no concern with, and no knowledge of, such things. Deliberately he + gave his mind a surface which should shed promiscuous invitation, and + folded his lips as it were, against the rising of the curtain. He thought + of Hilda separately, and he looked for her upon the boards with the + simplicity of a desire to see the woman he knew. + </p> + <p> + When finally he did see her she made before him a picture that was to + remain with him always as his last impression of an art from which in all + its manifestations on that night he definitely turned. From the aigrette + in her hair to the paste buckle on her shoe she was mondaine. Her dress, + of some indefinite, slight white material, clasped at the waist with a + belt that gave the beam of turquoises and the gleam of silver, ministered + as much to the capricious ideal of the moment as to the lines and curves + of the person it adorned. The set was the inevitable modern drawing-room, + and she sat well out on a sofa, with her hands, in long black gloves, + resting stiffly, palm downward on each side of her. It was as if she + pushed her body forward in an impulse to rise, her rigid arms thrust her + shoulders up a little and accentuated the swell of her bosom. It was a + vivid, a staccato attitude; it expressed a temperament, a character, fifty + other things; but especially it epitomised the restraints and the licenses + of a world of drawing-rooms. In that first brief mute instant of + disclosure she was all that she presently, by voice and movement, + proclaimed herself to be—so dazzling and complete that Stephen + literally blinked at the revelation. He made an effort, for a moment or + two, to pursue and detect the woman who had been his friend; then the + purpose of his coming gradually faded from his mind, and he stood with + folded arms and absorbed eyes watching the other, the Mrs. Halliday, on + the sofa, setting about the fulfilment of a purple destiny. + </p> + <p> + The play proceeded and Stephen did not move—did not wince. When Mrs. + Halliday, whose mate was exacting, exclaimed, “The greatest apostle of + expediency was St. Paul. He preached 'wives love your husbands,'” he even + permitted himself the ghost of a smile. At one point he wished himself + familiar with the plot; it was when Hamilton Bradley came jauntily on as + Lord Ingleton, assuring Mrs. Halliday that immorality was really only + shortsightedness. Lady Dolly in front, repeated Lord Ingleton's phrase + with ingenuous wonder. “I know it's clever,” she insisted, “but what does + it mean? Now that other thing—what was it?—'Subtract vice, and + virtue is what is left'—that's an easy one. Write it down on your + cuff for me, will you, Colonel Cummins? I SHALL be so sick if I forget + it.” + </p> + <p> + Stephen was perhaps the only person in the box quite oblivious of Lady + Dolly. He looked steadily over her animated shoulders at the play, wholly + involved in an effort to keep its current and direction through the + floating debris of constrained sayings with which it was encumbered; to + know in advance whither it was carrying its Mrs. Halliday, and how far + Lord Ingleton would accompany. When Lord Ingleton paused as it were to beg + four people to “have nothing to do with sentiment—it so often leads + to conviction,” and the house murmured its amusement, Arnold shifted his + shoulders impatiently. “How inconsistent,” Lord Ingleton reproached Mrs. + Halliday a moment later, “to wear gloves on your hands and let your + thoughts go candid.” Arnold turned to Duff. “There's no excuse for that,” + he said, but Lindsay was hanging upon Hilda's rejoinder and did not hear + him. + </p> + <p> + At the end of the first act, where, after introducing Mrs. Halliday to her + husband's divorced first wife, Lord Ingleton is left rubbing his hands + with gratification at having made two such clever women “aware of each + other,” Stephen found himself absolutely unwilling to discuss the piece + with the rest of the party. As he left the box to walk up and down the + corridor outside where it was cooler, he heard the voice of Colonel + Cummins lifted in further quotation, “'To be good AND charming—what + a sinful superfluity!' I'm sure nobody ever called you superfluous, Lady + Dolly,” and was vividly aware of the advisability of taking himself and + his Order out of the theatre. He had not been gratified, or even from any + point appealed to. Hilda's production of Mrs. Halliday was so perfect that + it failed absolutely to touch him, almost to interest him. He had no means + of measuring or of valuing that kind of woman, the restless brilliant type + that lives upon its emotions and tilts at the problems of its sex with a + curious comfort in the joust. He was too far from the circle of her modern + influence to consider her with anything but impatience if he had met her + original person, and her reflection, her reproduction seemed to him + frivolous and meaningless. If he went then, however, he would go as he + came, in so far as the play was concerned; the first act, relying + altogether upon the jugglery of its dialogue, gave no clue to anything. He + owed it to Hilda after all to see the piece out. It was only fair to give + her a chance to make the best of it. He decided that it was worth a + personal sacrifice to give it her, and went back. + </p> + <p> + He was sufficiently indignant with the leading idea of the play, and + sufficiently absorbed in its progress, at the end of the second act, to + permit Lady Dolly to capture him before it occurred to him that he had the + use of his legs. Her enthusiasm was so great that it reduced him to + something like equivocation. She wanted to know if anything could be more + splendid than Mr. Bradley as Lord Ingleton; she confided to Stephen that + that was what she called REAL wickedness, the kind that did the most harm, + and invited him by inference, to a liberal judgment of stupid sinners. He + sat emitting short unsmiling sentences with eyes nervously fugitive from + Lady Dolly's too proximate opulence until the third act began. Then he + gave place with embarrassed alacrity to Colonel Cummins, and folded his + arms again at the back of the box. + </p> + <p> + Before it was finished he had the gratification of recognising at least + one Hilda that he knew. The newspapers found in her interpretation the + development of a soul, and one remembered, reading them, that a cliche is + a valuable thing in a hurry. A phrase which spoke of a soul bruised out of + life and rushing to annihilation would have been more precise. The demand + upon her increased steadily as the act went on, and as she met it there + slipped into her acting some of her own potentialities of motive and of + passion. She offered to the shaping circumstance rich material and + abundant plasticity, and when the persecution of her destiny required her + to throw herself irretrievably away she did it with a splendid + appreciation of large and definite movement that was essentially of + herself. + </p> + <p> + The moment of it had a bold gruesomeness that caught the breath—a + disinterment on the stage in search of letters that would prove the charge + against the second year of Mrs. Halliday's married life, her letters + buried with the poet. It was an advantage which only the husband of Mrs. + Halliday would have claimed to bring so helpless a respondent before even + the informal court at the graveyard; but it gave Hilda a magnificent + opportunity of wild, mad apostrophe to the skull, holding it tenderly with + both hands, while Lord Ingleton smiled appreciatively in advance of the + practical benevolence which was to sustain the lady through the divorce + court, and in the final scene offer to her and to the prejudices of the + British public the respectability of his name. + </p> + <p> + It was over with a rush at the end, leaving the audience uncertain whether + after all enough attention had been paid to that tradition of the + footlights which insists on so nice a sense of opprobrium and + compensation, but convinced of its desire to applaud. Duff Lindsay turned + as the wave of clapping spent itself, to say to Stephen that he had never + respected Hamilton Bradley's acting so much. He said it to Herbert + Livingstone instead; the priest had disappeared. + </p> + <p> + The outgoers looked at Arnold curiously as he made his way among them in a + direction which was not that of the exit. He went with hurried purpose in + the face of them all toward the region, badly lighted and imperfectly + closed, which led to the rear of the stage. He opened doors into dark + closets, and one which gave upon the road, retraced his unfamiliar steps + and asked a question, to which—it was so unusual from one in his + habit—he received a hesitating but correct reply. A moment later he + passed Mr. Llewellyn Stanhope, who stood in his path with a hostile stare, + and got out of it with a deferential bow, and knocked at a door upon which + was pasted the name, in large red letters cut from a poster, of Miss Hilda + Howe. It was a little ajar, so he entered, when she cried “Come in!” with + the less hesitation. Hilda sat on the single chair the place contained, in + the dress and make-up of the last scene. A servant, who looked up + incuriously, was unlacing her shoes. Various garments hung about on nails + driven into the unpainted walls, others overflowed from a packing-box in + one corner. A common teakwood dressing-table held make up saucers and + powder-puffs and some remnants of cold fowl which had not been partaken + of, apparently, with the assistance of a knife and fork. A candle stood in + an empty soda-water bottle on each side of the looking-glass, and there + was no other light. On the floor a pair of stays, old and soiled, sprawled + with unconcern. The place looked sordid and miserable, and Hilda sitting + in the middle of it, still in the yellow wig and painted face of Mrs. + Halliday, all wrong at that range, gave it a note of false artifice, + violent and grievous. Stephen stood in the doorway grasping the handle, + saying nothing, and an instant passed before she knew with certainty, in + the wretched light, that it was he. Then she sprang up and made a step + toward him as if toward victory and reward, but checked herself in time. + “Is it possible!” she exclaimed. “I did not know you were in the theatre.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” he said, with moderation, “I have seen this—this damnable + play.” + </p> + <p> + “Damnable? Oh!—” + </p> + <p> + “It has caused me,” he went on, “to regret the substance of my letter this + morning. I failed to realise that this was the kind of work you devote + your life to. I now see that you could not escape its malign influence—that + no women could. I now think that the alternative that has been revealed to + you, of remaining in Calcutta, is a chance of escape offered you by God + Himself. Take it. I withdraw my foolish, ignorant opposition.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” she cried, “do you really think—” + </p> + <p> + “Take it,” he repeated, and closed the door. + </p> + <p> + Hilda sat still for some time after the servant had finished unlacing her + shoes. A little tender smile played oddly about her carmined lips. “Dear + heart,” she said aloud, “I was going to.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIII + </h2> + <p> + “I would simply give anything to be there,” Miss Livingstone said, with a + look of sincere desire. + </p> + <p> + “I should love to have you, but it isn't possible. You might meet men you + knew who had been invited by particular lady friends among the company.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, well, that of course would be odious.” + </p> + <p> + “Very, I should think,” Hilda agreed. “You must be satisfied with a + faithful report of it. I promise you that.” + </p> + <p> + “You have asked Mr. Lindsay,” Alicia complained. + </p> + <p> + “That's quite a different thing. And if I hadn't, Llewellyn Stanhope + would; Stanhope cherishes Duff as he cherishes the critic of the + Chronicle. He refers to him as a pillar of the legitimate. Whenever he + begs me to turn the Norwegian crank, he says, 'I'm sure Mr. Lindsay would + come.'” + </p> + <p> + Miss Howe was at the top of the staircase in Middleton Street, on the + point of departure. It was to be the night of her last appearance for the + season and her benefit, followed by a supper in her honour, at which Mr. + Stanhope and his company would take leave of those whose acquaintance, as + he expressed it, business and pleasure had given them during the months + that were past. It was this function that Alicia, at the top of the + staircase, so ardently desired to attend. + </p> + <p> + “No, I won't kiss you,” Hilda said, as the other put her cool cheek + forward; “I'm so divinely happy—some of it might escape.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia's voice pursued her as she ran downstairs. “Remember,” she said, “I + don't approve. I don't at all agree either with my reverend cousin or with + you. I think you ought to find some other way, or let it go. Go home + instead; go straight to London and insist on your chance. After six weeks + you will have forgotten the name of his Order.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda looked back with a smile. Her face was splendid with the dawn and + the promise of success. “Don't say that,” she cried. + </p> + <p> + Alicia, leaning down, was visited by a flash of quotation. “Well,” she + said, “nothing in this life becomes you like the leaving of it,” and went + back to her room to write to Laura Filbert in Plymouth. She wrote often to + Miss Filbert, at Duff's request. It gratified her that she was able, + without a pang, to address four pages of pleasantly colourless + communication to Mr. Lindsay's fiancee. Her letters stood for a medicine + surprisingly easy to take, aimed at the convalescence which she already + anticipated in the future immediately beyond Duff's miserable marriage. If + that event had promised felicitously she would have faced it, one fancies, + with less sanguine anticipations for herself: but the black disaster that + rode on with it brought her certain aids to the spirit, certain hopes of + herself. Laura's prompt replies, with their terrible margins and + painstaking solecisms, came to be things Miss Livingstone looked forward + to. She read them with a beating heart, however, in the unconscious + apprehension of some revelation of improvement. She was quite unaware of + it, but she entertained towards the Simpsons an attitude of misgiving in + this regard. + </p> + <p> + Hilda went on about her business. As usual her business was important and + imperative; nothing was lightened for her this last day. She drove about + from place to place in the hot, slatternly city, putting more than her + usual vigour and directness into all she did. It seemed to her that the + sunlight burning on the tiles, pouring through the crowded streets, had + more than ever a vivid note; and so much spoke to her, came to her, from + the profuse and ingenuous life which streamed about her, that she leaned a + little forward to meet it with happy eyes and tender lips that said, “I + know. I see.” She was living for the moment which should exhale itself + somewhere about midnight after the lights had gone out on her last + appearance—living for it as a Carmelite might live for the climax of + her veil and her vows if it were conceivable that beyond the cell and the + grating she saw the movement and the colour and the passion of a wider + life. All Hilda's splendid vitality went into her intention, of which she + was altogether mistress, riding it and reining it in a straight course + through the encumbered hours. It keyed her to a finer and more eager + susceptibility; and the things she saw stayed with her, passing into a + composite day which the years were hardly to dim for her. + </p> + <p> + She could live like that, for the purposes of a period, wrought up to + immense keenness of sense and brilliancy of energy, making steadily for + some point of feeling or achievement flashing gloriously on the horizon. + It is already plain, perhaps, that she rejoiced in such strokes, and that + life as she found it worth living was marked by a succession of them. + </p> + <p> + She had kept, even from Lindsay, what she meant to do. When she stepped + from his brougham, flushed after the indubitable triumph of the evening, + with her arms full of real bouquets from Chatterjee's—no eight-anna + bazar confections edged with silver tinsel—it occurred to her that + this reticence was not altogether fair to so constant a friend. He was + there, keen and eager as ever in all that concerned her, foremost with his + congratulations on the smiling fringe of the party assembled to do her + honour. It was a party of some brilliance in its way, though its way was + diverse; there was no steady glow. Fillimore said of the company that it + comprised all the talent, and Fillimore, Editor of the Indian Sportsman + and Racing Gazelle, was a judge. He said it to Hagge, of the Bank of + Hindostan, who could hardly have been an owner on three hundred rupees a + month without conspicuous ability disconnected with his ledgers; and Hagge + looked gratified. Though so promising, he was young. Lord Bobby was there + from Government House. Lord Bobby always accompanied the talent, who were + very kind to him. He was talking when Hilda arrived to the Editor of the + Indian Empire, who wanted to find out the date of her Excellency's fancy + dress party for children, in order that he might make a leaderette of it; + but Lord Bobby couldn't remember—had to promise to drop him a line. + Gianacchi was there, trying to treat Fillimore with coldness because the + Sportsman had discovered too many virtues in his Musquito, exalted her + indeed into a favourite for Saturday's hurdle race, a notability for which + Gianacchi felt himself too modest. “They say,” Fillimore had written, + “that Musquito has been seen jumping by moonlight”—the sort of thing + to spoil any book. Fillimore was an acute and weary-looking little man, + with a peculiarly sweet smile and an air of cynicism which gave to his + lightest word a dangerous and suspicious air. It was rumoured in official + circles that he had narrowly escaped beheading for pointing out too + ironically the disabilities of a Viceroy who insisted on reviewing the + troops from a cushioned carriage with the horses taken out. Fillimore + seemed to think that if nature had not made such a nobleman a horseman, + the Queen-Empress should not have made him Governor-General of India. + Fillimore was full of prejudices. Gianacchi, however, found it impossible + to treat him coldly. His smoothness of temperament stood in the way. + Instead, he imparted the melodious information that Musquito had pecked + badly twice at Tollygunge that morning, and smiled with pathetic + philosophy. “Always let 'em use their noses,” said Fillimore, and there + seemed to be satire in it. Fillimore certainly had a flair, and when Beryl + Stace presently demanded of him, “What's the dead bird going to be on + Saturday, Filly?” he put it generously at her service. Among the friends + of Mr. Stanhope and his company were also several gentlemen, content, for + their personal effect, with the lustre they shed upon the Stock Exchange—gentlemen + of high finance, who wrote their names at the end of directors' reports, + but never in the visitors' book at Government House, who were little more + to the Calcutta world than published receipts for so many lakhs, except + when they were seen now and then driving, in fleet dogcarts across the + Maidan toward comfortable suburban residences where ladies were not + entertained. They were extremely, curiously, devoted to business; but if + they allowed themselves any amusement other than company promoting, it was + the theatre, of which their appreciation had sometimes an odd relation to + the merits of performance. This supper, on the part of Miss Beryl Stace + and one or two others of Mr. Stanhope's artistes, might have been + considered a return of hospitality to these gentlemen, since the suburban + residences stood lavishly open to the profession. + </p> + <p> + Altogether, perhaps, there were fifty people, and an eye that looked for + the sentiment, the pity of things, would have distinguished at once on + about half the faces, especially those of the women, the used, underlined + look that spoke of the continual play of muscle and forcing of feeling. It + gave them a shabbily complicated air, contrasting in a strained and sorry + way even, with the countenances of the brokers and bankers, where nature + had laid on a smooth wash and experience had not interfered. They were all + gay and enthusiastic as Miss Howe entered, they loafed forward, broad + shirt-fronts lustrous, fat hands in financial pockets, with their + admiration, and Fillimore put out his cigarette. Hilda came down among + them from the summit of her achievement, clasping their various hands. + They were all personally responsible for her success, she made them feel + that, and they expanded in the conviction. She moved in a kind of tide of + infectious vitality, subtly drawing from every human flavour in the room + the power to hold and show something akin to it in herself, a fugitive + assimilation floating in the lamplight with the odour of the flowers and + the soup, to be extinguished with the occasion. They looked at her up and + down the table with an odd smiling attraction, they told each other that + she was in great form. Mr. Fillimore was of the opinion that she couldn't + be outclassed at the Lyceum, and Mr. Hagge responded with vivacity that + there were few places where she wouldn't stretch the winner's neck. The + feast was not after all one of great bounty, Mr. Stanhope justly holding + that the opportunity, the little gathering, was the thing, and it was not + long before the moment of celebration arrived for which the gentlemen of + the Stock Exchange, to judge from their undrained glasses, seemed to be + reserving themselves. There certainly had been one tin of pate, and it + circulated at that end; on the other hand the ladies had all the fondants. + So that when Mr. Llewellyn Stanhope rose with the sentiment of the evening + he found satisfaction, if not repletion, in the regards turned upon him. + </p> + <p> + Llewellyn got up with modest importance, and ran a hand through his yellow + hair, not dramatically, but with the effect of collecting his ideas. He + leaned a little forward, he was extremely, happily conspicuous. The + attention of the two lines of faces seemed to overcome him, for an + instant, with dizzy pleasure; Hilda's beside him was bent a little, + waiting. + </p> + <p> + “Ladies and gentlemen,” said Mr. Stanhope, looking with precision up and + down the table to be still more inclusive, “we have met together to-night + in honour of a lady who has given this city more pleasure in the exercise + of her profession than can be said of any single performer during the last + twenty years. Cast your eye back over the theatrical record of Calcutta + for that space of time, and you yourselves will admit that there has been + nobody that could be said to have come within a mile of her shadow, if I + may use the language of metaphor.” (Applause, led by Mr. Fillimore.) “I + would ask you to remember, at the same time, that this pleasure has been + of a superior class. I freely admit that this is a great satisfaction to + me personally. Far be it from me to put myself forward on this auspicious + occasion, but, ladies and gentlemen, if I have one ambition more than + another, it is to promote the noble cause of the unfettered drama. To this + I may say I have been vowed from the cradle, by a sire who was well-known + in the early days of the metropolis of Sydney as a pioneer of the great + movement which has made the dramatic talent of Australia what it is. + To-day a magnificent theatre rises on the site forever consecrated to me + by those paternal labours, but—but I can never forget it. In Miss + Hilda Howe I have found a great coadjutor, and one who is willing to + consecrate her royal abilities in the same line as myself, so that we have + been able to maintain a high standard of production among you, prices + remaining as usual. I have to thank you, as representing the public of the + Indian capital, for the kind support which has been so encouraging to Miss + Howe, the Company, and myself personally, during the past season. Many a + time ladies and gentlemen of my profession have said to me, 'Mr. Stahhope, + why do you go to Calcutta? That city is a death-trap for professionals,' + and now the past season proves that I was right and they were wrong; and + the magnificent houses, the enthusiasm, and the appreciation that have + greeted our efforts, especially on the Saturday evening performances, show + plainly enough that when a good thing is available the citizens of + Calcutta won't be happy till they get it. Ladies and gentlemen, I invite + you to join me in drinking the health, happiness, and prosperity of Miss + Hilda Howe!” + </p> + <p> + “Miss Howe!” “Miss Howe!” “Miss Hilda Howe!” In the midst of a pushing + back of chairs and a movement of feet, the response was quick and + universal. Hilda accepted their nods and becks and waving glasses with a + slow movement of her beautiful eyes and a quiet smile, in the subsidence + of sound Mr. Stanhope's voice was heard again, “We can hardly expect a + speech from Miss Howe, but perhaps Mr. Hamilton Bradley, whose + international reputation need hardly be referred to, will kindly say a few + words on her behalf.” + </p> + <p> + Then with deliberate grace, Hilda rose from her chair, a tall figure among + them, looking down with a hint of compassionateness on the little man at + her left. She stood for an instant without speaking, as if the flushed + silence, the expectation, the warm magnetism that drew all their eyes to + her were enough. Then out of something like reverie she came to the + matter, she threw up her beautiful face with one of the supreme gestures + which belonged to her. “I think,” she said, with a little smiling bow in + his direction, “that I will not trouble my friend Mr. Bradley. He has + rendered me so many kind services already that I am sure I might count + upon him again, but this is a thing I should like to do for myself. I + would not have my thanks chilled by even the passage from my heart to + his.” There was something like bravado in the glance that rested lightly + on Bradley with this. One would have said that parley of hearts between + them was not a thing that as a rule she courted. “I can only offer you my + thanks, poor things to which we can give neither life nor substance, yet I + beg that you will somehow take them and remember them. It is to me, and + will always be, a kind of crowning satisfaction that you were pleased to + come together to-night to tell me I had done well. You know yourselves, + and I know, how much too flattering your kindness is, but perhaps it will + hurt nobody if to-night I take it as it is generously offered, and let it + make me as happy as you intend me to be. At all events, no one could + disturb me in believing that in obtaining your praise and your good wishes + I have done well enough.” + </p> + <p> + For a few seconds she stopped speaking, but she held them with her eyes + from the mistake of supposing she had done. Lindsay, who was watching her + closely and hanging with keen pleasure on the sweetness and precision of + what she found to say, noted a swift constriction pass upon her face. + There was a half-tone of difference, too, in her voice, when she raised it + again, a firmer vibration, as if she passed, deliberate and aware, out of + one phase into another. + </p> + <p> + “No,” she went on, “I am not shy on this occasion; indeed, I feel that I + should like to keep your eyes upon me for a long time to-night, and go on + talking far past your patience or my wit. For I cannot think it likely + that our ways will cross again.” Here her words grew suddenly low and + hurried. “If I may trespass upon your interest so much further, I have to + tell you that my connection with the stage closes with this evening's + performance. To-morrow I join the Anglican Order of the Sisters of St. + Paul—the Baker Institution—in Calcutta, as a novice. They have + taken me without much question because—because the plague hospitals + of this cheerful country”—she contrived a smile—“have made a + great demand upon their body. That is all. I have nothing more to say.” + </p> + <p> + It was, after all, ineffective, the denouement, or perhaps it was too + effective. In any case it was received in silence, the applause that was + ready falling back on itself, inconsistent and absurd. The incredulity of + Llewellyn Stanhope might have been electric had it found words, but that + gentleman's protests were made in violent whispers, to which Hilda, who + sat playing with a faded rose, seemed to pay no attention whatever. One + might have thought her more overcome than anyone. She seemed to make one + or two unsuccessful efforts to raise her head. There was a moment of + waiting for someone to reply; eyes were turned towards Mr. Bradley, and + when it became plain that no one would, broken murmurs of talk began with + a note of deprecation and many shakes of the head. The women, especially, + looked tragically at their neighbours with very wide-open eyes. Presently + a chair was drawn back, and then another, and people began to filter, in + slow embarrassment, towards the door. Lindsay came with Hilda's cloak. + “You won't mind my coming with you,” he said, “I should like to hear the + details.” Beryl Stace made as if to embrace her, pouring out abusive + disbelief, but Hilda waved her away with a gesture almost of irritation. + Some of the others said a perfunctory word or two, and went away with + lingering backward looks. In a quarter of an hour, Mr. Lindsay's brougham + had followed the other vehicles into the lamp-lit ways of Calcutta, and + only the native table-servants remained in somewhat resentful possession + of what was left. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIV + </h2> + <p> + If Duff Lindsay had apprehended that the reception of Miss Filbert by the + Simpsons would involve any strain upon the affection his friends bore him, + the event must have relieved him in no small degree. He was soon made + aware of its happy character, and constantly kept assured; indeed, it + seemed that whenever Mrs. Simpson had nothing else to do she laid her pen + to the task of telling him once again how cherished a satisfaction they + found in Laura, and how reluctant they would be to lose it. She wrote in + that strain of facile sympathy which seems part of an Englishwoman's + education, and often begged him to believe that the more she knew of their + sweet and heavenly-minded guest the more keenly she realised how dreary + for him must have been the pang of parting and how arid the months of + separation. Mrs. Simpson herself was well acquainted with these trials of + the spirit. She and her husband had been divided by those wretched + thousands of miles of ocean for three years one week and five days all + told during their married life: she knew what it meant. But if Duff could + only see how well and blooming his beloved one was—she had gained + twelve pounds already—Mrs. Simpson was sure the time of waiting + would pass less heavily. For herself, it was cruel but she smiled upon the + deferred reunion of hearts, she would keep Laura till the very last day, + and hoped to establish a permanent claim on her. She was just the daughter + Mrs. Simpson would have liked, so unspotted, so pure, so wrapped in high + ideals; and then the page would reflect something of the adoring awe in + which Mrs. Simpson would have held such a daughter. It will be seen that + Mrs. Simpson knew how to express herself, but there was a fine sincerity + behind the mask of words; Miss Filbert had entered very completely into + possession. + </p> + <p> + It had its abnormal side, the way she entered into possession. Everything + about Laura Filbert had its abnormal side, none the less obvious because + it was inward, and invisible. Nature, of course, worked with her, one + might say that nature really did it all, since in the end she was + practically unconscious, except for the hope that certain souls had been + saved, that anything of the sort had happened. She conquered the Simpsons + and their friends chiefly by the simple impossibility that they should + conquer her, walking immobile among them even while she admired Mr. + Simpson's cauliflowers and approved the quality of Mrs. Simpson's house + linen. It must be confessed that nothing in her surroundings spoke to her + more loudly or more subtly than these things. In view of what happened, + poor dear Alicia Livingstone's anticipation that the Simpsons and their + circle would have a radical personal effect upon Laura Filbert became + ludicrous. They had no effect at all. She took no tint, no curve. She + appeared not to see that these precious things were to be had for the + assimilation. Her grace remained exclusively that of holiness, and + continued to fail to have any relation to the common little things she did + and said. + </p> + <p> + The Simpsons were more plastic. Laura had been with them hardly a week + before Mrs. Simpson, with touching humility, was trying to remodel her + spiritual nature upon the form so fortuitously, if the word is admissible, + presented. The dear lady had never before realised, by her own statement, + how terribly her religious feelings were mingled with domestic and social + considerations, how firmly her spiritual edifice was based upon the things + of this world. She felt that her soul was honeycombed—that was her + word—with conventionality and false standards, and she made + confessions like these to Laura, sitting in the girl's bedroom in the + twilight. They were very soothing, these confessions. Laura would take + Mrs. Simpson's thin, veined, middle-aged hand in hers and seem to charge + herself for the moment with the responsibility of the elder lady's case. + She did not attempt to conceal her pity or even her contempt for Mrs. + Simpson's state of grace, she made short work of special services and + ladies' Bible classes. The world was white with harvest, and Mrs. + Simpson's chief activity was a recreation society for shop girls. But it + was something, it was everything, to be uneasy, to be unsatisfied, and + they would uplift themselves in prayer, and Laura would find words of such + touching supplication in which to represent the matter that the burden of + her friend and hostess would at once be lessened by the weight of tears. + Mrs. Simpson had never wept so much without perceived cause for grief as + since Laura arrived, and this alone would testify, such was the gentle + paradox of her temperament, how much she enjoyed Miss Filbert's presence. + </p> + <p> + Laura's room was a temple, for which the gardener daily gave up his + choicest blooms, the tenderest interest watched upon her comings and + goings, and it was the joy of both the Simpsons to make little sacrifices + for her, to desert their beloved vicar on a Sunday evening, for instance, + and accompany her to the firemen's halls and skating rinks lent to the + publishing of the Word in the only manner from which their guest seemed to + derive benefit. With all this, the Simpsons were sometimes troubled by the + impression that they could not claim to be making their angel in the house + completely happy. The air, the garden, the victoria, the turbot and the + whitebait, these were all that has been vaunted, and even to the modesty + of the Simpsons it was evident that the intimacy they offered their guest + should count for something. There were other friends too, young friends + who tried to teach her to play tennis, robust and silent young persons who + threw shy flushed glances at her in the pauses of the games, and wished + supremely, without daring to hint it, that she would let fall some word + about her wonderful romance—a hope ever renewed, ever to be + disappointed. And physically Laura expanded before their eyes. The colour + that came into her cheek gave her the look of a person painted by + Bouguereau; that artist would have found in her a model whom he could have + represented with sincerity. Yet something was missing to her, her friends + were dimly aware. Her desirable surroundings kindled her to but a + perfunctory interest in life—the electric spark was absent. Mrs. + Simpson relied strategically upon the wedding preparations and hurried + them on, announcing in May that it was quite time to think about various + garments of which the fashion is permanent, but the issue was blank. No + ripple stirred the placid waters, unless indeed we take that way of + describing Laura's calm demand, when the decision lay between Valenciennes + and Torchon lace for under-bodies, to hear whether Mrs. Simpson had ever + known Duff Lindsay to be anxious about his eternal future. The girl + continued to give forth a mere pale reflection of her circumstances, and + Mrs. Simpson was forced into the deprecation that perhaps one would hardly + call her a joyous Christian. + </p> + <p> + But for the Zenana Light Society this impression of Miss Filbert might + have deepened. The committee of that body was almost entirely composed of + Mrs. Simpson's friends, and naturally came to learn much about her guest. + The matter was vastly considered, but finally Miss Filbert was asked to + speak at one of the monthly meetings the ladies held among themselves to + keep the society “in touch” with the cause. Laura brought them, as one + would imagine, surprisingly in touch. She made pictures for them, letting + her own eyelashes close deliberately while they stared. She moved these + ladies, inspired them, carried them away, and the fact that none of them + found themselves able afterward to quote the most pathetic passages seemed + rather to add to the enthusiasm with which they described the address. The + first result was a shower of invitations to tea, occasions when Laura was + easily led into monologue. Miss Filbert became a cult of evangelistic + drawing-rooms, and the same kind of forbearance was extended to her little + traces of earlier social experiences as is offered, in salons of another + sort, to the eccentricities of persons of genius. Very soon other + applications had to be met and considered, and Mrs. Simpson freely + admitted that Laura would not be justified in refusing to the Methodists + and Baptists what she had given elsewhere. She reasserted her platform + influence over audiences that grew constantly larger, and her world began + to revolve again in that great relation to the infinities which it was her + life to perceive and point out. Mrs. Simpson charged her genially with + having been miserable in Plymouth until she was allowed to do good in her + own way, and saw that she had beef-tea after every occasion of doing it. + She became in a way a public character, and a lady journalist sent an + account of her, with a photograph, to a well-known London fashion paper. + Perhaps the strongest effect she made was as the voice of the Purity + Association, when she delivered an address, in the picturesque costume she + had abandoned, attacking measures contemplated by Government for the + protection of the health of the Army in India. This was reported in full + in the local paper, and Mr. Simpson sent a copy to Duff Lindsay, who + received it, I regret to say, with an unmistakable imprecation. But Laura + rejoiced. Deprived of her tambourine she nevertheless rejoiced + exceedingly. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0025" id="link2HCH0025"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXV + </h2> + <p> + The Mother Superior had a long upper lip, which she was in the habit of + drawing still further down; it gave her an air of great diplomatic + caution, almost of casuistry. Her face was pale and narrow; she had eyes + that desired to be very penetrating, and a flat little stooping figure + within her voluminous draperies. She carried about with her all the + virtues of a monastic order, patience was written upon her, and + repression, discipline, and the love of administration, written and + underlined, so that the Anglican Sister whom no Pope blessed was more + priestly in her personal effect than any Jesuit. It was difficult to + remember that she had begun as a woman; she was now a somewhat anaemic + formula making for righteousness. Sister Ann Frances, who in her turn + suggested the fat capons of an age of friars more indulgent to the flesh, + and whose speech was of the crispest in this world where there was so much + to do, thought poorly of the executive ability of the Mother Superior, and + resented the imposition, as it were, of the long upper lip. Out of this + arose the only irritations that vexed the energetic flow of duty at the + Baker Institution, slight official raspings which the Mother Superior + immediately laid before Heaven at great length. She did it with publicity, + too, kneeling on the chunam floor of the chapel for an hour at a time + obviously explaining matters. The bureaucracy of the country was reflected + in the Baker Institution; it seemed to Sister Ann Frances that her + superior officer took undue advantage of her privilege of direct + communication with the Supreme Authority, giving any colour she liked to + the incident. And when the Mother Superior's lumbago came on in direct + consequence of the cold chunam, the annoyance of Sister Ann Frances was + naturally not lessened. + </p> + <p> + There were twenty or thirty of them, with their little white caps tied + close under their chins, their long veils and their girdled black robes. + They were the most self-sacrificing women in Asia, the most devout, the + most useful. Government gave hospitals and doctors into their hands; they + took the whole charge of certain schools. They differed in complexion, + some of the newly arrived being delightfully fresh and pink under their + starched bandeaux; but they were all official, they all walked discreetly + and directly about their business, with a jangle of keys in the folds of + their robes, immensely organised, immensely under orders. Hilda, when she + had time, had the keenest satisfaction in contemplating them. She took the + edge off the fact that she was not quite one, in aim and method, with + these dear women as they supposed her to be, with the reflection that + after all it might be worth while to work out a solution of life in those + terms, standing aside from the world—the world was troublesome—and + keeping an unfaltering eye upon the pity of things, an unfaltering hand at + its assuagement. It was simple and fine and indisputable, this work of + throwing the clear shadow of the Cross upon the muddy sunlight of the + world; it carried the boon of finality in itself. One might be stopped and + put away at any moment, and nothing would be spoiled, broken, unfinished; + and it absolutely barred out such considerations as were presented by + Hamilton Bradley. There was a time early in her probation when she thought + seriously that if it were not Stephen Arnold it should be this. + </p> + <p> + She begged to be put on hospital work, and was sent for her indiscretion + to teach in the Orphanage for Female Children of British Troops. The first + duty of a novice was to be free of preference, to obey without a sigh of + choice. On the third day, however, Sister Ann Frances, supervising, + stopped at the open schoolroom door to hear the junior female orphans + repeating in happy chorus after their instructress the statement that + seven times nine were fifty-six. I think Hilda saw Sister Ann Frances in + the door. That couldn't go on, even in the name of discipline, and Miss + Howe was placed at the disposal of the Chief Nursing Sister at the General + Hospital next day. Sister Ann Frances was inclined to defend Hilda's + imperfect acquaintance with primary arithmetic. + </p> + <p> + “We all have our gifts,” she said. “Miss Howe's is not the multiplication + table; but neither is mine stage-acting.” At which, the upper lip + lengthened further into an upward curving smile, and the Mother Superior + remarked cautiously that she hoped Miss Howe would develop one for making + bandages, otherwise—And there for the time being the matter rested. + </p> + <p> + The depth of what was unusual in Hilda's relation with Alicia Livingstone—perhaps + it has been plain that they were not quite the ordinary feminine liens—seems + to me to be sounded in the tacit acceptance of Hilda's novitiate on its + merits that fell between the two women. The full understanding of it was + an abyss between them, across which they joined hands, looking elsewhere. + Even in the surprise of Hilda's announcement Alicia had the instinct to + glance away, lest her eyes should betray too many facts that bore upon the + situation. It had never been discussed, but it had to be accepted, and + occasionally referred to; and the terms of acceptance and reference made + no implication of Stephen Arnold. In her inmost privacy Alicia gazed + breathless at the conception as a whole; she leaped at it, and caught it + and held it to look, with a feverish comparison of possibilities. It was + not strange, perhaps, that she took a vivid personal interest in the + essentials that enabled one to execute a flank movement like Hilda's, not + that she should conceive the first of them to be that one must come out of + a cab. She dismissed that impression with indignation as ungenerously + cynical, but it always came back for redismissal. It did not interfere in + the least, however, with her deliberate invitations to Stephen to come to + Ten, Middleton Street, on afternoons or evenings when Hilda was there. She + was like one standing denied in the Street of Abundance; she had an + avidity of the eye for even love's reflection. + </p> + <p> + That was a little later. At first there was the transformation to lament, + the loss, the break. + </p> + <p> + “You look,” cried Miss Livingstone, the first time Hilda arrived in the + dress of the novice, a kind of under-study of the Sisters' black and + white, “you look like a person in a book, full of salient points, and yet + made so simple to the reader. If you go on wearing those things I shall + end by understanding you perfectly.” + </p> + <p> + “If you don't understand me,” Hilda said, dropping into the corner of a + sofa, “Cela que je m'en doute, it's because you look for too much + elaboration. I am a simple creature, done with rather a broad brush—voila + tout!” + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, Miss Livingstone's was a happy impression. The neutrality of + her hospital dress left Hilda in a manner exposed: one saw in a special + way the significance of lines and curves; it was an astonishingly vigorous + human expression. + </p> + <p> + Alicia leaned forward, her elbow on the arm of her chair, her chin tucked + into her palm, and looked at it. The elbow bent itself in light blue + muslin of extreme elegance, trimmed with lace. The colour found a wistful + echo in the eyes that regarded Miss Howe, who was accustomed to the look, + and met it with impenetrable commonplace, being made impatient by nothing + in this world so much as by futility, however charming. + </p> + <p> + “Just now,” Alicia said, “the shadows under your eyes are brushed too + deep.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't believe I sleep well in a dormitory.” + </p> + <p> + “Horrible! All the little comforts of life—don't you miss them?” + </p> + <p> + “I never had them, my dear—I never had them. Life has never given me + very many luxuries—I don't miss them. An occasional hour to one's + self—and that we get even at the Institution. The conventions are + strictly conserved, believe me.” + </p> + <p> + “One imagines that kind of place is always clean.” + </p> + <p> + “When I have time I think of Number Three, Lal Behari's Lane, and believe + myself in Paradise. The repose is there, the angels also—dear + commanding things—and a perpetual incense of cheap soap. And there + is some good in sleeping in a row. It reminds one that after all one is + very like other women.” + </p> + <p> + “It wouldn't convince me if I were you. And how did the sisters receive + you—with the harp and the psaltery?” + </p> + <p> + “That was rather,” said Hilda gravely, “what I expected. On the contrary. + They snubbed me—they really did. There were two of them. I said, + 'Reverend ladies, please be a little kind. Convents are strange to me; I + shall probably commit horrible sins without knowing it. Give me your + absolution in advance—at least your blessing.'” + </p> + <p> + “Hilda, you didn't!” + </p> + <p> + “It is delightful to observe the Mother Abbess, or whatever she is, + disguising the fact that she takes any interest in me. Such diplomacy—funny + old thing.” + </p> + <p> + “They must be devoured with curiosity!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, they ask no questions. One sees an everlasting finger on the lip. + It's a little boring. One feels inclined to speak up and say, 'Mesdames, + entendez—it isn't so bad as you think.' But then their fingers would + go into their ears.” + </p> + <p> + “And the rules, Hilda? I can't imagine you, somehow, under rules.” + </p> + <p> + “I am attached to the rules; I think about them all day long. They make + the thing simple and—possible. It is a little like living for the + first time in a house all right angles after—after a lifelong voyage + in a small boat.” + </p> + <p> + “Isn't the house rather empty?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, well!” + </p> + <p> + Alicia put out her hand and tucked an irrelevant bit of lace into Hilda's + bosom. “I can tell you who is interested,” she cried. “The Archdeacon—the + Archdeacon and Mrs. Barberry. They both dined here last night; and you + lasted from the fish to the pudding. I got so bored with you, my dear, in + your new capacity.” + </p> + <p> + A new ray of happiness came into the smile of the novice. “What did they + say? Do tell me what they said.” + </p> + <p> + “There was a difference of opinion. The Archdeacon held that with God all + things were possible. He used an expression more suitable to a + dinner-party; but I think that is what he meant. Mrs. Barberry thought it + wouldn't last. Mrs. Barberry was very cynical. She said anyone could see + that you were as emotional as ever you could be.” + </p> + <p> + The eyes of the two women met, and they laughed frankly. A sense of + expansion came between them, in which for an instant they were silent. + </p> + <p> + “Tell me about the hospital,” Alicia said presently. “Ah, the hospital!” + Hilda's face changed; there came into her eyes the moved look that always + waked a thrill in Alicia Livingstone, as if she were suddenly aware that + she had stepped upon ground where feet like hers passed seldom. + </p> + <p> + “There is nothing to tell you that is not—sad. Such odds and ends, + of life, thrown together!” + </p> + <p> + “Have you had any experiences yet?” + </p> + <p> + Hilda stared for a moment absently in front of her, and then turned her + head aside to answer as if she closed her eyes on something. + </p> + <p> + “Experiences? Delightful Alicia, speaking your language, no. You are + thinking of the resident surgeon, the medical student, the interesting + patient. My resident surgeon is fifty years old; the medical student is a + Bengali in white cotton and patent leather shoes. I am occupied in a ward + full of deck hands. For these I hold the bandage and the bottle; they are + hardly aware of me.” + </p> + <p> + “You are sure to have them,” Alicia said. “They crop up wherever you go in + this world, either before you or behind you.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda fixed her eyes attentively upon her companion. “Sometimes,” she + said, “you say things that are extremely true in their general bearing. A + fortuneteller with cards gives one the same shock of surprise. Well, let + me tell you, I have been promoted to temperatures. I took thirty-five + to-day. Next week I am to make poultices; the week after, baths and + fomentations.” + </p> + <p> + “What are the others like—the other novices?” + </p> + <p> + “Nearly all Eurasians, one native, a Hindu widow—the Sisters are + almost demonstrative to her—and one or two local European girls: the + commissariat sergeant class, I should think.” + </p> + <p> + “They don't sound attractive, and I am glad. You will depend the more upon + me.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda looked thoughtfully at Miss Livingstone. “I will depend,” she said, + “a good deal upon you.” + </p> + <p> + It was Alicia's fate to meet the Archdeacon again that evening at dinner. + “And is she really throwing her heart into the work?” asked that + dignitary, referring to Miss Howe. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I think so,” Alicia said. “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0026" id="link2HCH0026"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVI + </h2> + <p> + The labours of the Baker Institution and of the Clarke Mission were very + different in scope, so much so that if they had been secular bodies + working for profit, there would have been hardly a point of contact + between them. As it was they made one, drawing together in affiliation for + the comfort of mutual support in a heathen country where all the other + Englishmen wrote reports, drilled troops, or played polo, with all the + other Englishwomen in the corresponding female parts. Doubtless the little + communities prayed for each other. One may imagine, not profanely, their + petitions rising on either side of the heedless, multitudinous, idolatrous + city, and meeting at some point in the purer air above the yellow + dust-haze. I am not aware that they held any other mutual duty or + privilege, but this bond was known, and enabled people whose conscience + pricked them in that direction to give little garden teas to which they + invited Clarke Brothers and Baker Sisters, secure in doing a benevolent + thing and at the same time embarrassing nobody except, possibly, the + Archdeacon, who was officially exposed to being asked as well and had no + right to complain. The affiliation was thus a social convenience, since it + is unlikely that without it anybody would have hit upon so ingenious a way + of killing, as it were, a Baker Sister and a Clarke Brother with one + stone. It is not surprising that this degree of intelligence should fail + to see the profound official difference between Baker Sisters and Baker + novices. As the Mother Superior said, it did not seem to occur to people + that there could be in connection with a religious body, such words as + discipline and subordination, which were certainly made ridiculous for the + time being, when she and Sister Ann Frances were asked to eat ices on the + same terms as Miss Hilda Howe. It must have been more than ever painful to + these ladies, regarded from the official point of view, when it became + plain, as it usually did, that the interest of the afternoon centred in + Miss Howe, whether or not the Archdeacon happened to be present. Their + displeasure was so clear, after the first occasion, that Hilda felt + obliged when the next one came, to fall back on her original talent, and + ate her ice abashed and silent speaking only when she was spoken to, and + then in short words and long hesitations. Thereupon the Sisters were of + opinion that after all poor Miss Howe could not help her unenviable lot, + she was perhaps more to be pitied on account of it than—anything + else. It came to this, that Sister Ann Frances even had an exhibitor's + pride in her, and Hilda knew the sensations of a barbarian female captive + in the bonds of the Christians. But she could not afford to risk being cut + off from those little garden teas. All told, they were few; ladies + disturbed by ideas of social duties toward missionaries being so uncommon. + </p> + <p> + She told Stephen so, frankly, one afternoon when he charged her with being + so unlike herself, and he heard her explanation with a gravity which + contained an element of satisfaction. “It is, of course, a pleasure to us + to meet,” he said, “a pleasure to us both.” That was part of the + satisfaction, that he could meet her candour with the same openness. He + was not even afraid to mention to her the stimulus she gave him always and + his difficulty in defining it, and once he told her how, after a talk with + her, he had lain awake until the small hours unable to stop his excited + rush of thought. He added that he was now personally and selfishly glad + she had chosen as she did three months before; it made a difference to + him, her being in Calcutta, a sensible and material difference. He had + better hope and heart in his work. It was the last luxury he would ever + have dreamed of allowing himself, a woman friend; but since life had + brought it in the oddest way the boon should be met with no grudging of + gratitude. A kind of sedate cheerfulness crept into his manner which was + new to him; he went about his duties with the look of a man to whom life + had dictated its terms and who found them acceptable. His blood might have + received some mysterious chemical complement, so much was his eye clearer, + his voice firmer, and the things he found to say more decisive. Nor did + any consideration of their relations disturb him. He never thought of the + oxygen in the air he breathed, and he seldom thought of Hilda. + </p> + <p> + They were walking toward the Institution together the day he explained to + her his gratification that she had elected to remain. Sister Ann Frances + and Sister Margaret led; Arnold and Hilda came behind. He had an errand to + the Mother Superior—he would go all the way. It was late in May and + late in the afternoon; all the treetops on the Maidan were bent under the + sweep of the south wind, blowing a caressing coolness from the sea. It + spread fragrances about and shook down blossoms from the gold-mohur trees. + One could see nothing anywhere, so red and yellow as they were, except the + long coat of a Government messenger, a point of scarlet moving in the + perspective of a dusty road. The spreading acres of turf were baked to + every earth-colour; wherever a pine dropped needles and an old woman swept + them up, a trail of dust ran curling along the ground like smoke. The + little party was unusual in walking; glances of uncomprehending pity were + cast at them from victorias and landaus that rolled past. Even the + convalescent British soldiers facing each other in the clumsy drab cart + drawn by humped bullocks, and marked Garrison Dispensary, stared at the + black-skirts so near the powder of the road. The Sisters in front walked + with their heads slightly bent toward one another; they seemed to be + consulting. Hilda reflected, looking at them, that they always seemed to + be consulting; it was the normal attitude of that long black veil that + flowed behind. + </p> + <p> + Arnold walked beside his companion, his hands loosely clasped behind him, + with the air of semi-detachment that young clergymen sometimes have with + their wives. Whether it was that, or the trace of custom his satisfaction + carried, the casual glance might easily have taken them for a married + pair. + </p> + <p> + “There is a kind of folly and stupidity in saying it,” he said, “but you + have done—you do—a great deal for me.” + </p> + <p> + She turned toward him with a wistful, measuring look. It searched his face + for an instant and came back baffled. Arnold spoke with so much kindness, + so much appreciation. + </p> + <p> + “Very little,” she said mechanically, looking at the fresh footprints of + Sister Ann Frances and Sister Margaret. + </p> + <p> + “But I know. And can't you tell me—it would make me so very happy—that + I have done something for you too—something that you value?” + </p> + <p> + Hilda's eyes lightened curiously, reverie came into them, and a smile. She + answered as if she spoke to herself, “I should not know how to tell you.” + </p> + <p> + Then scenting wonder in him she added, “You were thinking of something—in + particular?” + </p> + <p> + “You have sometimes made me believe,” Stephen returned, “that I may + account myself, under God, the accident which induced you to take up your + blessed work. I was thinking of that.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” she said, “of that!” and seemed to take refuge in silence. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” Arnold said, with infinite gentleness. + </p> + <p> + “But you were profoundly the cause! I might say you are, for without you I + doubt whether I should have the—courage—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh no! Oh no! He who inspired you in the beginning will sustain you to + the end. Think that. Believe that.” + </p> + <p> + “Will He?” Her voice was neutral, as if it would not betray too much, but + there was a listlessness that spoke louder in the bend of her head, the + droop of her shoulder. + </p> + <p> + “For you perhaps,” Arnold said thoughtfully, “there is only one assurance + of it—the satisfaction your vocation brings you now. That will + broaden and increase,” he went on, almost with buoyancy, “growing more and + more your supreme good as the years go on.” + </p> + <p> + “How much you give me credit for!” + </p> + <p> + “Not nearly enough—not nearly. Who is there like you?” he demanded + simply. + </p> + <p> + His words seemed a baptism. She lifted up her face after them, and the + trace of them was on her eyes and lips. “I have passed two examinations, + at all events,” she informed him, with sudden gaiety, “and Sister Ann + Frances says that in two or three months I shall probably get through the + others. Sister Ann Frances thinks me more intelligent than might be + expected. And if I do pass those examinations I shall be what they call a + quick-time probationer. I shall have got it over in six months. Do you + think,” she asked, as if to please herself; “that six months will be long + enough?” + </p> + <p> + “It depends. There is so much to consider.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes—it depends. Sometimes I think it will be, but oftener I think + it will take longer.” + </p> + <p> + “I should be inclined to leave it entirely with the Sisters.” + </p> + <p> + “I am so undisciplined,” murmured Hilda, “I fear I shall cling to my own + opinion. Now we must overtake the others and you must walk the rest of the + way with Sister Ann—no, Sister Margaret, she is senior.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't at all see the necessity,” Stephen protested. He was wilful and + wayward; he adopted a privileged air, and she scolded him. In their + dispute they laughed so imprudently that Sister Ann Frances turned her + draped head to look back at them. Then they quickened their steps and + joined the elder ladies, and Stephen walked with Sister Margaret to the + door of the Institution. She mentioned to the Mother Superior afterwards + that young Mr. Arnold was really a delightful conversationalist. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0027" id="link2HCH0027"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVII + </h2> + <p> + They talked a great deal in Plymouth about the way the time was passing in + Calcutta during those last three months before Laura should return, the + months of the rains. “Now,” said Mrs. Simpson, early in July, “it will be + pouring every day, with great patches of the Maidan under water, and + rivers, my dear, RIVERS, in the back streets”; and Laura had a + reminiscence about how, exactly at that time, a green mould used to spread + itself fresh every morning on the matting under her bed in Bentinck + Street. Later on they would agree that perhaps by this time there was a + “break in the rains,” and that nothing in the world was so trying as a + break in the rains, the sun grilling down and drawing up steam from every + puddle. In September, things, they remembered, would be at their very + worst and most depressing; one had hardly the energy to lift a finger in + September. Mrs. Simpson looked back upon the discomfort she had endured in + Bengal at this time of year with a kind of regret that it was + irretrievably over; she lingered upon a severe illness which had been part + of the experience. She seemed to think that with a little judicious + management she might have spent more time in that climate, and less in + England. There was in her tone a suggestion of gentle envy of Laura, going + forth to these dismal conditions with her young life in her hands all + tricked out for the sacrifice, which left Duff Lindsay and his white and + gold drawing-room entirely out of consideration. Any sacrifice to Mrs. + Simpson was alluring, she would be killed all day long, in a manner, for + its own sake. + </p> + <p> + The victim had taken her passage early in October, and during the first + week of that month Plymouth gathered itself into meetings to bid her + farewell. A curiously sacred character had fastened itself upon her; it + was not in the least realised that she was going out to be married to an + altogether secular young broker moving in fashionable circles in one of + the gayest cities in the world. Ones or two reverend persons in the course + of commending their young sister to the protection of the Almighty in her + approaching separation from the dear friends who surrounded her in + Plymouth, made references implying that her labours would continue to the + glory of God, taking it as a matter of course. Miss Filbert was by this + time very much impregnated with the idea that they would, she did not know + precisely how, but that would open itself out. Duff had long been + assimilated as part of the programme. All that money and humility could + contribute should be forthcoming from him; she had a familiar dream of him + as her standard-bearer, undistinguished but for ever safe. + </p> + <p> + Yet it was with qualified approval that Mrs. Simpson, amid the confusion + of the Coromandel's preparations for departure at London Docks, heard the + inevitable strains of the Salvation Army rising aft. Laura immediately + cried, “I shall have friends among the passengers,” and Mrs. Simpson so + far forgot herself as to say, “Yes, if they are nice.” The ladies were + sitting on deck beside the pile of Laura's very superior cabin luggage. + Mrs. Simpson glanced at it as if it offered a kind of corroboration of the + necessity of their being nice. “There are always a few delightful + Christian people, if one takes the trouble to find them out, at this end + of the ship,” she said defensively. “I have never failed to find it so.” + </p> + <p> + “I don't think much of Christians who are so hard to discover,” Laura said + with decision; and Mrs. Simpson, rebuked, thought of the mischievous + nature of class prejudices. Laura herself—had she not been drawn + from what one might call distinctly the other end of the ship?—and + who, among those who vaunted themselves ladies and gentlemen, could + compare with Laura! The idea that she had shown a want of sympathy with + those dear people who were so strenuously calling down a blessing on the + Coromandel somewhere behind the smoke stacks, embittered poor Mrs. + Simpson's remaining tears of farewell, and when the bell rang the signal + for the last good-bye, she embraced her young friend with the fervent + request, “Do make friends with them, dear one—make friends with them + at once”; and Laura said, “If they will make friends with me.” + </p> + <p> + By the time the ship had well got her nose down the coast of Spain, Miss + Filbert had created her atmosphere, and moved about in it from end to end + of the quarter-deck. It was a recognisable thing, her atmosphere, one + never knew when it would discharge a question relating to the gravest + matters; and persons unprepared to give satisfaction upon this point—one + fears there are some on a ship bound east of Suez—found it + blighting. They moved their long chairs out of the way, they turned + pointedly indifferent backs, the lady who shared Miss Filbert's cabin—she + belonged to a smart cavalry regiment at Mhow—went about saying + things with a distinct edge. Miss Filbert exhausted all the means. She + attempted to hold a meeting forward of the smoking cabin, standing for + elevation on one of the ship's quoit buckets to preach, but with this the + captain was reluctantly compelled to interfere on behalf of the + whist-players inside. In the evening, after dinner, she established + herself in a sheltered corner and sang. Her recovered voice lifted itself + with infinite pathetic sweetness in songs about the poverty of the world + and the riches of heaven; the notes mingled with the churning of the + screw, and fell in the darkness beyond the ship's lights abroad upon the + sea. The other passengers listened aloof; the Coromandel was crowded, but + you could have drawn a wide circle round her chair. On the morning of the + fourth day out—she had not felt quite well enough for adventures + before—she found her way to the second-class saloon, being no doubt + fully justified of her conscience in abandoning the first to the + flippancies of its preference. + </p> + <p> + In the second-class end the tone was certainly more like that of Plymouth. + Laura had a grateful sense of this in coming, almost at once, upon a + little group gathered together for praise and prayer, of which four or + five persons of both sexes, labelled “S. A.,” naturally formed the centre. + They were not only praying and praising without discouragement, they had + attracted several other people who had brought their chairs into near and + friendly relation, and even joined sometimes in the chorus of the hymns. + There was a woman in mourning who cried a good deal—her tears seemed + to refresh the Salvationists and inspire them to louder and more cheerful + efforts. There was a man in a wide, soft felt hat with the malaria of the + Terai in the hollows under his eyes; there was a Church Missionary with an + air of charity and forbearance, and the bushy-eyed colonel of a native + regiment looking vigilant against ridicule, with his wife, whose round red + little face continually waxed and waned in a smile of true contentment. It + was not till later that Laura came to know them all so very well, but her + eye rested on them one after another, with approval, as she drew near. + Without pausing in his chant—it happened to be one of triumph—without + even looking at her, the leader indicated an empty chair. It was his own + chair. “Colonel Markin, S. A.” was printed in black letters on its striped + canvas back; Laura noticed that. + </p> + <p> + After it was over, the little gathering, Colonel Markin specially + distinguished her. He did it delicately. “I hope you won't mind my + expressin' my thanks for the help you gave us in the singin',” he said. + “Such a voice I've seldom had the pleasure to join with. May I ask where + you got it trained?” + </p> + <p> + He was a narrow-chested man with longish sandy hair and thin features. His + eyes were large, blue, and protruding, his forehead very high and white. + There was a pinkness about the root of his nose, and a scanty yellow + moustache upon his upper lip, while his chin was partly hidden by a beard + equally scanty and even more yellow. He had extremely long white hands; + one could not help observing them as they clasped his book of devotion. + </p> + <p> + Laura looked at him with profound appreciation of these details. She knew + Colonel Markin by reputation, he had done a great work among the + Cingalese. “It was trained,” she said, casting down her eyes, “on the + battlefields of our Army.” + </p> + <p> + Colonel Markin attempted to straighten his shoulders and to stiffen his + chin. He seemed vaguely aware of a military tradition which might make it + necessary for him, as a very senior officer indeed, to say something. But + the impression was transitory. Instead of using any rigour he held out his + hand. Laura took it reverently, and the bones shut up, like the sticks of + a fan, in her grasp. “Welcome, comrade!” he said, and there was a pause, + as there should be after such an apostrophe. + </p> + <p> + “When you came among us this afternoon,” Colonel Markin resumed, “I + noticed you. There was something about the way you put your hand over your + eyes when I addressed our Heavenly Father that spoke to me. It spoke to me + and said, 'Here we have a soul that knows what salvation means—there's + no doubt about that.' Then when you raised a Hallelujah I said to myself, + 'That's got the right ring to it.' And so you're a sister in arms!” + </p> + <p> + “I was,” Laura murmured. + </p> + <p> + “You was—you were. Well, well—I want to hear all about it. It + is now,” continued Colonel Markin, as two bells struck and a steward + passed them with a bugle, “the hour for our dinner, and I suppose that you + too,” he bent his head respectfully towards the other half of the ship, + “partake of some meal at this time. But if you will seek us out again at + the meeting between four and five I shall be at your service afterwards, + and pleased,” he took her hand again, “PLEASED to see you.” + </p> + <p> + Laura went back to the evening meeting, and after that missed none of + these privileges. In due course she was asked to address it, and then her + position became enviable from all points of view, for people who did not + draw up their chairs and admire her inspirations sat at a distance and + admired her clothes. Very soon, at her special request, she was allowed to + resign her original place at table and take a revolving chair at the nine + o'clock breakfast, one o'clock dinner, and six o'clock tea which sustained + the second saloon. Daily, ascending the companion ladder to the main deck + aft she gradually faded from cognisance forward. There they lay back in + their long chairs and sipped their long drinks, and with neutral eyes and + lips they let the blessing go. + </p> + <p> + In the intervals between the exercises Miss Filbert came and went in the + cabin of three young Salvationists of her own sex. They could always make + room for her, difficult as it may appear; she held for them an indefinite + store of fascination. Laura would extend herself on a top berth beside the + round-eyed Norwegian to whom it belonged, with the cropped head of the + owner pillowed on her sisterly arm, and thus they passed hours, discussing + conversions as medical students might discuss cases, relating, comparing. + They talked a great deal about Colonel Markin. They said it was a + beautiful life. More beautiful if possible had been the life of Mrs. + Markin, who was his second wife, and who had been “promoted to glory” six + months before. She had gained promotion through jungle fever, which had + carried her off in three days. The first Mrs. Markin had died of drink—that + was what had sent the Colonel into the Army, she, the first Mrs. Markin, + having willed her property away from him. Colonel Markin had often + rejoiced publicly that the lady had been of this disposition, the results + to him had been so blessed. Apparently he spoke without reserve of his + domestic affairs in connection with his spiritual experiences, using both + the Mrs. Markins when it was desirable as “illustrations.” The five had + reached this degree of intimacy by the time the Coromandel was nearing + Port Said, and every day the hemispheres of sea and sky they watched + through the porthole above the Norwegian girl's berth grew bluer. + </p> + <p> + From the first Colonel Markin had urged Miss Filbert's immediate return to + the Army. He found her sympathetic to the idea, willing indeed to embrace + it with open arms, but there were difficulties. Mr. Lindsay, as a + difficulty, was almost insuperable to anything like a prompt step in that + direction. Colonel Markin admitted it himself. He was bound to admit it he + said, but nothing, since he joined the Army, had ever been so painful to + him. “I wish I could deny it,” he said with frankness; “but there is no + doubt that for the present your first duty is towards your gentleman, + towards him who placed that ring upon your finger.” There was no sarcasm + in his describing Lindsay as a gentleman; he used the term in a kind of + extra special sense where a person less accustomed to polite usages might + have spoken of Laura's young man. “But remember, my child,” he continued, + “it is only your poor vile body that is yours to dispose of, your soul + belongs to God Almighty, and no earthly husband, especially as you say he + is still in his sins, is going to have the right to interfere.” This may + seem vague, as the statement of a position, but Laura found it immensely + fortifying. That and similar arguments built her up in her determination + to take up what Colonel Markin called her life-work again at the earliest + opportunity. She had forfeited her rank, that she accepted humbly as a + proper punishment, ardently hoping it would be found sufficient. She would + go back as a private, take her place in the ranks, and nothing in her + married life should interfere with the things that cried out to be done in + Bentinck Street. Somehow she had less hope of securing Lindsay as a + spiritual companion in arms since she had confided the affair to Colonel + Markin. As he said, they must hope for the best, but he could not help + admitting that he took a gloomy view of Lindsay. + </p> + <p> + “Once he has secured you,” the Colonel said, with an appreciative glance + at Laura's complexion, “what will he care about his soul? Nothing.” + </p> + <p> + Their enthusiasm had ample opportunity to strengthen, their mutual + satisfactions to expand, in the close confines of life on board ship, and + as if to seal and sanctify the voyage permanently a conversion took place + in the second saloon, owning Laura's agency. It was the maid of the lady + in the cavalry regiment, a hardened heart, as two stewards and a + bandmaster on board could testify. When this occurred the time that was to + elapse between Laura's marriage and her return to the ranks was shortened + to one week. “And quite long enough,” Colonel Markin said, “considering + how much more we need you than your gentleman does, my dear sister.” + </p> + <p> + It was plain to them all that Colonel Markin had very special views about + his dear sister. The other dear sisters looked on with pleasurable + interest, admitting the propriety of it, as Colonel Markin walked up and + down the deck with Laura, examining her lovely nature, “drawing her out” + on the subject of her faith and her assurance. It was natural, as he told + her, that in her peculiar situation she should have doubts and + difficulties. He urged her to lay bare her heart, and she laid it bare. + One evening—it was heavenly moonlight on the Indian Ocean, and they + were two days past Aden on the long south-east run to Ceylon—she + came and stood before him with a small packet in her hand. She was all in + white, and more like an angel than Markin expected ever to see anything in + this world, though as to the next his anticipations may have been + extravagant. + </p> + <p> + “Now I wonder,” said he, “where you are going to sit down?” + </p> + <p> + A youngster in the Police got up and pushed his chair forward, but Laura + shook her head. + </p> + <p> + “I am going out there,” she said, pointing to the farthermost stern where + passengers were not encouraged to sit, “and I want to consult you.” + </p> + <p> + Markin got up. “If there's anything pressin' on your mind,” he said, “you + can't do better.” + </p> + <p> + Laura said nothing until they were alone with the rushing of the screw, + two Lascars, some coils of rope, and the hand-steering gear. Then she + opened the packet. “These,” she said, “these are pressing on my mind.” + </p> + <p> + She held out a string of pearls, a necklace of pearls and turquoises, a + heavy band bracelet studded, Delhi fashion, with gems, one or two lesser + fantasies. + </p> + <p> + “Jewellery!” said Markin. “Real or imitation?” + </p> + <p> + “So far as that goes they are good. Mr. Lindsay gave them to me. But what + have I to do with jewels, the very emblem of the folly of the world, the + desire that itches in palms that know no good works, the price of sin!” + She leaned against the masthead as she spoke, the wind blew her hair and + her skirt out toward the following seas. With that look in her eyes she + seemed a creature who had alighted on the ship but who could not stay. + </p> + <p> + Colonel Markin held the pearls up in the moonlight. + </p> + <p> + “They must have cost something to buy,” he said. + </p> + <p> + Laura was silent. + </p> + <p> + “And so they're a trouble to you. Have you taken them to the Lord in + prayer?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, many times.” + </p> + <p> + “Couldn't seem to hear any answer?” + </p> + <p> + “The only answer I could hear was. 'So long as you have them I will not + speak with you.'” + </p> + <p> + “That seems pretty plain and clear. And yet?” said the Colonel, fondling + the turquoises, “nobody can say there's any harm in such things, + especially if you don't wear them.” + </p> + <p> + “Colonel, they are my great temptation. I don't know that I wouldn't wear + them. And when I wear them I can think of nothing sacred, nothing holy. + When they were given to me I used—I used to get up in the night to + look at them.” + </p> + <p> + “Shall I lay it before the Almighty? That bracelet's got a remarkably good + clasp.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh no—no! I must part with them. To-night I can do it, to-night—” + </p> + <p> + “There's nobody on this ship that will give you any price for them.” + </p> + <p> + “I would not think of selling them. It would be sending them from my hands + to do harm to some other poor creature, weaker than I!” + </p> + <p> + “You can't return them to-night.” + </p> + <p> + “I wouldn't return them. That would be the same as keeping them.” + </p> + <p> + “Then what—oh, I see!” exclaimed Markin. “You want to give them to + the Army. Well, in my capacity, on behalf of General Booth—” + </p> + <p> + “No,” cried Laura with sudden excitement, “not that either. I will give + them to nobody. But this is what I will do!” She seized the bracelet and + flung it far out into the opaline track of the vessel, and the smaller + objects, before her companion could stop her, followed it. Then he caught + her wrist. + </p> + <p> + “Stop!” he cried. “You've gone off your head—you've got fever. + You're acting wicked with that jewellery. Stop and let us reason it out + together.” + </p> + <p> + She already had the turquoises, and with a jerk of her left hand, she + freed it and threw them after the rest. The necklace caught the handrail + as it fell, and Markin made a vain spring to save it. He turned and stared + at Laura, who stood fighting the greatest puissance of feeling she had + known, looking at the pearls. As he stared she kissed them twice, and + then, leaning over the ship's side, let them slowly slide out of her + fingers and fall into the waves below. The moonlight gave them a divine + gleam as they fell. She turned to Markin with tears in her eyes. “Now,” + she faltered, “I can be happy again. But not to-night.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0028" id="link2HCH0028"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVIII + </h2> + <p> + While the Coromandel was throbbing out her regulation number of knots + towards Colombo, October was passing over Bengal. It went with lethargy, + the rains were too close on its heels; but at the end of the long hot + days, when the resplendent sun struck down on the glossy trees and the + over-lush Maidan, there often stole through Calcutta a breath of the + coming respite of December. The blue smoke of the people's cooking fires + began to hang again in the streets, the pungent smell of it was pleasant + in the still air. The south wind turned back at the Sunderbunds; instead + of it, one met round corners a sudden crispness that stayed just long + enough to be recognised and melted damply away. A week might have two or + three of such promises and foretastes. + </p> + <p> + Hilda Howe, approaching the end of her probation at the Baker Institution, + threw the dormitory window wide to them, went out to seek them. They gave + her a new stirring of vitality, something deep within her leaped up + responding to the voucher the evenings brought that presently they would + bring something new and different. She vibrated to an irrepressible pulse + of accord with that; it made her hand strong and her brain clear for the + unimportant matters that remained within the scope of the monotonous + moment. There had come upon her a stimulating assurance that it would be + only a moment—now. She did not consider this, she could hardly be + said to be intelligently aware of it, but it underlay all that she said + and did. Her spirits gained an enviable lightness, she began again to see + beautiful, touching things in the life that carried her on with it. She + explained to Stephen Arnold that she was immensely happy at having passed + the last of her nursing examinations. + </p> + <p> + “I hardly dare ask you,” he said, “what you are going to do now.” + </p> + <p> + He looked furtive and anxious; she saw that he did, and the perception + irritated her. She had to tell herself that she had given him the right to + look in any way he pleased—indeed yes. + </p> + <p> + “I hardly dare ask myself,” she answered, and was immediately conscious + that for the first time in the history of their relations she had spoken + to him that which was expedient. + </p> + <p> + “I hope the Sisters are not trying to influence you,” he said firmly. + </p> + <p> + “Fancy!” she cried irrelevantly. “I heard the other day that Sister Ann + Frances had described me as the pride of the Baker Institution!” She + laughed with delight at the humour of it, and he smiled too. When she + laughed, he had nearly always now confidence enough to smile too. + </p> + <p> + “You might ask for another six months.” + </p> + <p> + “Heavens, no! No—I shall make up my mind.” + </p> + <p> + “Then you may go away,” Arnold said. They were standing at the crossing of + the wide red road from which they would go in different directions. She + saw that the question was momentous to him. She also saw how curiously the + sun sallowed him, and how many more hollows he had in his face than most + people. She had a pathetic impression of the figure he made in his coarse + gown and shoes. “God's wayfarer,” she murmured. There was pity in her + mind, infinite pity. Her thought had no other tinge. It was a curiously + simple feeling, and seemed to bring her an inconsistent lightness of + heart. + </p> + <p> + “Come too,” she said aloud, “come and be a Clarke Brother where the + climatic conditions suit you better. The world wants Clarke Brothers + everywhere.” + </p> + <p> + He looked at her and tried to smile, but his lips quivered. He opened them + in an effort to speak, gave it up, and turned away silently, lifting his + hat. Hilda watched him for an instant as he went. His figure took strange + proportions through the tears that sprang to her eyes, and she marvelled + at the gaiety with which she had touched, had almost revealed, her heart's + desire. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0029" id="link2HCH0029"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIX + </h2> + <p> + “I knew it would happen in the end,” Hilda said, “and it has happened. The + Archdeacon has asked me to tea.” + </p> + <p> + She was speaking to Alicia Livingstone in the dormitory, changing at the + same time for a “turn” at the hospital. It was six o'clock in the + afternoon. Alicia's landau stood at the door of the Baker Institution. She + had come to find that Miss Howe was just going on duty and could not be + taken for a drive. + </p> + <p> + “When?” asked Alicia, staring out of the window at the crows in a tamarind + tree. + </p> + <p> + “Last Saturday. He said he had promised some friends of his the pleasure + of meeting me. They had besieged him, he said, and they were his best + friends, on all his committees.” + </p> + <p> + “Only ladies?” The crows, with a shriek of defiance at nothing in + particular, having flown away, Miss Livingstone transferred her attention. + </p> + <p> + “Bless me, yes. What Archdeacon has dear men friends! And lesquelles + pense-tu, mon Dieu!” + </p> + <p> + “Lesquelles?” + </p> + <p> + “Mrs. Jack Forrester, Mrs. Fitz—what you may call him up on the + frontier, the Brigadier gentleman—Lady Dolly!” + </p> + <p> + “You were well chaperoned.” + </p> + <p> + “And—my dear—he didn't ask a single Sister!” Hilda turned upon + her a face which appeared still to glow with the stimulus of the + archidiaconal function. “And—it was wicked considering the occasion—I + dropped the character. I let myself out!” + </p> + <p> + “You didn't shock the Archdeacon?” + </p> + <p> + “Not in the least. But, my dear love, did you ever permit yourself the + reflection that the Venerable Gambell is a bachelor?” + </p> + <p> + “Hilda, you shall not! We all love him—you shall not lead him + astray!” + </p> + <p> + “You would not think of—the altar?” + </p> + <p> + Miss Livingstone's pale small smile fell like a snowflake upon Hilda's + mood, and was swallowed up. “You are very preposterous,” she said. “Go on. + You always amuse one.” Then, as if Hilda's going on were precisely the + thing she could not quite endure, she said quickly, “The Coromandel is + telegraphed from Colombo to-day.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said Hilda. + </p> + <p> + “He leaves for Madras to-morrow. The thing is to take place there, you + know.” + </p> + <p> + “Then nothing but shipwreck can save him.” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing but—what a horrible idea! Don't you think they may be + happy? I really think they may.” + </p> + <p> + “There is not one of the elements that give people, when they commit the + paramount stupidity of marrying, reason to hope that they may not be + miserable. Not one. If he were a strong man I should pity him less. But + he's not. He's immensely dependent on his tastes, his friends, his + circumstances.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia looked at Hilda; her glance betrayed an attention caught upon an + accidental phrase. “The paramount stupidity.” She did not repeat it aloud, + she turned it over in her mind. + </p> + <p> + “You are thinking,” Hilda said accusingly. “What are you thinking about?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, nothing. I saw Stephen yesterday. I thought him looking rather + wretched.” + </p> + <p> + A shadow of grave consideration winged itself across Hilda's eyes. + </p> + <p> + “He works so much too hard,” she said. “It is an appalling waste. But he + will offer himself up.” + </p> + <p> + Alicia looked unsatisfied. She had hoped for something that would throw + more light upon the paramount stupidity. “He brought Mr. Lappe to tea,” + she said. + </p> + <p> + The shadow went. “Should you think Brother Lappe,” Miss Howe demanded, + “specially fitted for the cure of souls? Never, never, could I allow the + process of my regeneration to come through Brother Lappe. He has such a + little nose, and such wide pink cheeks, and such fat sloping shoulders. + Dear succulent Brother Lappe!” + </p> + <p> + A Sister passed through the dormitory on a visit of inspection. Alicia + bowed sweetly, and the Sister inclined herself briefly with a cloistered + smile. As she disappeared Hilda threw a black skirt over her head, making + a veil of it flowing backward, and rendered the visit, the noiseless + measured step, the little deprecating movements of inquiry, the benevolent + recognition of a visitor from a world where people carried parasols and + wore spotted muslins. She even effaced herself at the door on the track of + the other to make it perfect, and came back in the happy expansion of an + artistic effort to find Alicia's regard penetrated with the light of a new + conviction. + </p> + <p> + “Hilda,” she said, “I should like to know what this last year has really + been to you.” + </p> + <p> + “It has been very valuable,” Miss Howe replied. Then she turned quickly + away to hang up the black petticoat, and stood like that, shaking out its + folds, so that Alicia might not see anything curious in her face as she + heard her own words and understood what they meant. Very valuable! She did + understand, suddenly, completely. Very valuable! A year of the oddest + experiences, a pictorial year, which she would look back upon, with its + core in a dusty priest.... + </p> + <p> + A probationer came rapidly along the dormitory to where Hilda stood. She + had the olive cheeks and the liquid eyes of the country; her lips were + parted in a smile. + </p> + <p> + “Miss Howe,” she said, in the quick clicking syllables of her race, + “Sister Margaret wishes you to come immediately to the surgical ward. A + case has come in, and Miss Gonsalvez is there, but Sister Margaret will + not be bothered with Miss Gonsalvez. She says you are due by right in five + minutes,”—the messenger's smile broadened irresponsibly, and she put + a fondling touch upon Hilda's apron string,—“so will you please to + make haste!” + </p> + <p> + “What's the case?” asked Hilda; “I hope it isn't another ship's hold + accident.” But Alicia, a shade paler than before, put up her hand. “Wait + till I'm gone,” she said, and went quickly. The girl had opened her lips, + however, but to say that she didn't know, she had only been seized to take + the message, though it must be something serious since they had sent for + both the resident surgeons. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0030" id="link2HCH0030"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXX + </h2> + <p> + Dr. Livingstone's concern was personal, that was plain in the way he stood + looking at the floor of the corridor with his hands in his pockets, before + Hilda reached him. Regret was written all over the lines of his pausing + figure with the compressed irritation which saved that feeling in the + Englishman's way from being too obvious. + </p> + <p> + “This is a bad business, Miss Howe.” + </p> + <p> + “I've just come over—I haven't heard. Who is it?” + </p> + <p> + “It's my cousin, poor chap—Arnold, the padre. He's been badly knifed + in the bazar.” + </p> + <p> + The news passed over her and left her looking with a curious face at + chance. It was lifted a little, with composed lips, and eyes which refused + to be taken by surprise. There was inquiry in them, also a defence. + Chance, looking back, saw an invincible silent readiness, and a pallor + which might be that of any woman. But the doctor was also looking, so she + said, “That is very sad,” and moved near enough to the wall to put her + hand against it. She was not faint, but the wall was a fact on which one + could, for the moment, rely. + </p> + <p> + “They've got the man—one of those Cabuli money-lenders. The police + had no trouble with him. He said it was the order of Allah—the + brute! Stray case of fanaticism, I suppose. It seems Arnold was walking + along as usual, without a notion, and the fellow sprang on him, and in two + seconds the thing was done. Hadn't a chance, poor beggar.” + </p> + <p> + “Where is it?” + </p> + <p> + “Root of the left lung. About five inches deep. The artery pretty well cut + through, I fancy.” + </p> + <p> + “Then—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh no—we can't do anything. The haemorrhage must be tremendous. But + he may live through the night. Are you going to Sister Margaret?” + </p> + <p> + His nod took it for granted, and he went on. Hilda walked slowly forward, + her head bent, with absorbed uncertain steps. A bar of evening sunlight + came before her, she looked up and stepped outside the open door. She was + handling this thing that had happened, taking possession of it. It lay in + her mind in the midst of a suddenly stricken and tenderly saddened + consciousness. It lay there passively; it did not rise and grapple with + her, it was a thing that had happened—in Burra Bazar. The pity of it + assailed her. Tears came into her eyes, and an infinite grieved solicitude + gathered about her heart. “So?” she said to herself, thinking that he was + young and loved his work, and that now his hand would be stayed from the + use it had found. One of the ugly outrages of life, leaving nothing on the + mouth but that brief acceptance. It came to hers with a note of the + profound and of the supreme. She turned resolutely from searching her + heart for any wild despair. She would not for an instant consider what she + ought to feel. “So,” she said, and pressed her lips till they stopped + trembling, and went into the hospital. + </p> + <p> + She asked a question or two, in search of Sister Margaret and the new + case. It was “located,” an assistant surgeon told her, in Private Ward + Number Two. She went more and more slowly toward Private Ward Number Two. + </p> + <p> + The door was open; she stood in it for an instant with eyes nerved to + receive the tragedy. The room seemed curiously empty of any such thing, a + door opposite was also open, with an arched verandah outside; the low sun + streamed through this upon the floor with its usual tranquillity. Beyond + the arches, netted to keep the crows away, it made pictures with the tops + of the trees. There was the small iron bed with the confused outline under + the bedclothes, very quiet, and the Sister—the whitewashed wall rose + sharp behind her black draperies—sitting with a book in her hands. + Some scraps of lint on the floor beside the bed, and hardly anything else + except the silence which had almost a presence, and a faint smell of + carbolic acid, and a certain feeling of impotence and abandonment and + waiting which seemed to be in the air. Arnold moved on the pillow and saw + her standing in the door. The bars of the bed's foot were in the way, he + tried to lift his head to surmount the obstruction, and the Sister + perceived her too. + </p> + <p> + “I think absolutely still was our order, wasn't it, Mr. Arnold?” she said, + with her little pink smile. “And I'm afraid Miss Howe isn't in time to be + of much use to us, is she?” It was the bedside pleasantry that expected no + reply, that indeed forbade one. + </p> + <p> + “I'm sorry,” Hilda said. As she moved into the room she detached her eyes + from Arnold's, feeling as she did so that it was like tearing something. + </p> + <p> + “There was so little to do,” Sister Margaret said; “Surgeon-Major Wills + saw at once where the mischief lay. Nothing disagreeable was necessary, + was it, Mr. Arnold? Perfect quiet, perfect rest—that's an easy + prescription to take.” She had rather prominent very blue eyes, and an + aquiline nose, and a small firm mouth, and her pink cheeks were beginning + to be a little pendulous with age. Hilda gazed at her silently, noting + about her authority and her flowing draperies something classical. Was she + like one of the Fates? She approached the bed to do something to the + pillow—Hilda had an impulse to push her away with the cry, “It is + not time yet—Atropos!” + </p> + <p> + “I must go now for an hour or so,” the Sister went on. “That poor creature + in Number Six needs me; they daren't give her any more morphia. You don't + need it—happy boy!” she said to Stephen, and at the look he sent her + for answer she turned rather quickly to the door. Dear Sister, she was + none of the Fates, she was obliged to give directions to Hilda standing in + the door with her back turned. Happily for a deserved reputation for + self-command they were few. It was chief and absolute that no one should + be admitted. A bulletin had been put up at the hospital door for the + information of inquiries; later on when the doctor came again there would + be another. + </p> + <p> + She went away and they were left alone. The sun on the floor had vanished; + a yellowness stood in its place with a grey background, the background + gaining, coming on. Always his eyes were upon her, she had given hers back + to him and he seemed satisfied. She moved closer to the bed and stood + beside him. Since there was nothing to do there was nothing to say. + Stephen put out his hand and touched a fold of her dress. + </p> + <p> + The room filled itself with something that had not been there before, his + impotent love. Hilda knelt down beside the bed and pressed her forehead + against the hand upon the covering, the hand that had so little more to + do. Then Arnold spoke. + </p> + <p> + “You dear woman!” he said. “You dear woman!” She kept her head bowed like + that and did not answer. It was his happiest moment. One might say he had + lived for this. Her tears fell upon his hand, a kind of baptism for his + heart. He spoke again. + </p> + <p> + “We must bear this,” he panted. “It is—less cruel—than it + seems. You don't know how much it is for the best.” + </p> + <p> + She lifted her wet face. “You mustn't talk,” she faltered. + </p> + <p> + “What difference—” he did not finish the sentence. His words were + too few to waste. He paused and made another effort. + </p> + <p> + “If this had not happened I would have been—counted—among the + unfaithful,” he said. “I know now. I would have abandoned—my post. + And gladly—without a regret—for you.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” Hilda cried, with a vivid note of pain. “Would you? I am sorry for + that! I am sorry!” + </p> + <p> + She gazed with a face of real tragedy at the form of her captive delivered + to her in the bonds of death. A fresh pang visited her with the thought + that in the mystery of the ordering of things she might have had to do + with the forging of those shackles—the price of the year that had + been very valuable. + </p> + <p> + “My God is a jealous God,” Arnold said. “He has delivered me—into + His own hands—for the honour of His name. I acknowledge—I am + content.” + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed no! It was a wicked, horrible chance! Don't charge your God + with it.” + </p> + <p> + His smile was very sweet, but it paid the least possible attention. “You + did love me,” he said. He spoke as if he were already dead. + </p> + <p> + “I did indeed,” Hilda replied, and bent her shamed head upon her hands + again in the confession. It is not strange that he heard only the + affirmation in it. + </p> + <p> + He stroked her hair. “It is good to know that,” he said, “very, good. I + should have married you.” He went on with sudden boldness and a new note + of strength in his voice, “Think of that! You would have been mine—to + protect and work for. We should have gone together to England—where + I could easily have got a curacy—easily.” + </p> + <p> + Hilda looked up. “Would you like to marry me now?” she asked eagerly, but + he shook his head. + </p> + <p> + “You don't understand,” he said. “It is the dear sin God has turned my + back upon.” + </p> + <p> + Then it came to her that he had asked for no caress. He was going + unassoiled to his God, with the divine indifference of the dying. Only his + imagination looked backward and forward. And she thought, “It is a little + light flame that I have lit with my own taper that has gone out—that + has gone out—and presently the grave will extinguish that.” She sat + quiet and sombre in the growing darkness, and presently Arnold slept. + </p> + <p> + He slept through the bringing of a lamp, the arrival of flowers, subdued + knocks of inquirers who would not be stayed by the bulletin—the + visit of Surgeon-Major Wills, who felt his pulse without wakening him. + “Holding out wonderfully,” the doctor said. “Don't rouse him for the soup. + He'll go out in about six hours without any pain. May not wake at all.” + </p> + <p> + The door opened again to admit the probationer come to relieve Miss Howe. + Hilda beckoned her into the corridor. “You can go back,” she said, “I will + take your turn.” + </p> + <p> + “But the Mother Superior—you know how particular about the rules—” + </p> + <p> + “Say nothing about it. Go to bed. I am not coming.” + </p> + <p> + “Then, Miss Howe, I shall be obliged to report it.” + </p> + <p> + “Report and be—report if you like. There is nothing for you to do + here to-night,” and Hilda softly closed the door. There was a whispered + expostulation when Sister Margaret came back, but Miss Howe said, “It is + arranged,” and with a little silent nod of appreciation the Sister settled + into her chair, her finger marking a place in the Church Service. Hilda + sat nearer to the bed, her elbow on the table, shading her eyes from the + lamp, and watched. + </p> + <p> + “Is it not odd,” whispered Sister Margaret, as the night wore on, “he has + refused to be confessed before he goes? He will not see the Brother + Superior—or any of them. Strange, is it not?” + </p> + <p> + Together they watched the quick short breathing. It seemed strangely + impossible to sleep against such odds. They saw the lines of the face grow + sharper and whiter, the dark eye-sockets sink to a curious roundness, a + greyness gather about the mouth. There were times when they looked at each + other in the last surmise. Yet the feeble pulse persisted—persisted. + </p> + <p> + “I believe now,” said Sister Margaret, “that he may go on like this until + the morning. I am going to take half an hour's nap. Rouse me at once if he + wakes,” and she took an attitude of casual repose, turning the Prayer-book + open on her knee for readier use, open at “Prayers for the Dying.” + </p> + <p> + The jackals had wailed themselves out, and there was a long, dark period + when nothing but the sudden cry of a night bird in the hospital garden + came between Hilda and the very vivid perception she had at that hour of + the value and significance of the earthly lot. She lifted her head and + listened to that, it seemed a comment. Suddenly, then, a harsh quarrelling + of dogs—Christian dogs—arose in the distance and died away, + and again there was night and silence. Night for hours. Time for + reflection, alone with death and the lamp, upon the year that had been + very valuable. “I would have married you,” she whispered. “Yes, I would.” + Later her lips moved again. “I would have taken the consequence;” and + again, “I would have paid any penalty.” There he lay, a burden that she + would never bear, a burden that would be gone in the morning. There were + moments when she cried out on Fate for doing her this kindness. + </p> + <p> + The long singing drone of a steamer's signal came across the city from the + river, once, twice, thrice; and presently the sparrows began their + twittering in the bushes near the verandah, an unexpected unanimous bird + talk that died as suddenly and as irrelevantly away. A conservancy cart + lumbered past creaking; the far shrill whistle of an awakening factory cut + the air from Howrah; the first solitary foot smote through the dawn upon + the pavement. The light showed grey beyond the scanty curtains. A noise of + something being moved reverberated in the hospital below, and Arnold + opened his eyes. They made him in a manner himself again, and he fixed + them upon Hilda as if they could never alter. She leaned nearer him and + made a sign of inquiry toward the sleeping Sister, with the farewells, the + commendations of poor mortality speeding itself forth, lying upon her lap. + Arnold comprehended, and she was amazed to see the mask of his face charge + itself with a faint smile as he shook his head. He made a little movement; + she saw what he wanted and took his hand in hers. The smile was still in + his eyes as he looked at her, and then at the cheated Sister. “I would + have married you,” she whispered passionately as if that could stay him. + “Yes, I would.” + </p> + <p> + So in the end he trusted the new wings of his mortal love to bear his soul + to its immortality. They carried their burden buoyantly, it was such a + little way. The lamp was still holding its own against the paleness from + the windows when the meaning finally went out of his clasp of Hilda's + hand, without a struggle to stay, and she saw that in an instant when she + was not looking, he had closed his eyes upon the world. She sat on beside + him for a long time after that, watching tenderly, and would not withdraw + her hand—it seemed an abandonment. + </p> + <p> + Three hours later Miss Howe, passing out of the hospital gate, was + overtaken by Duff Lindsay, riding, with a look of singular animation and + vigour. He flung himself off his horse to speak to her, and as he + approached he drew from his inner coat pocket the brown envelope of a + telegram. + </p> + <p> + “Good-morning,” he said. “You do look fagged. I have a—curious—piece + of news.” + </p> + <p> + “Alicia told me that you were starting early this morning for Madras!” + </p> + <p> + “I should have been, but for this.” + </p> + <p> + “Read it to me,” Hilda said, “I'm tired.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, do you very much mind? I would rather—” + </p> + <p> + She took the missive; it was dated the day before, Colombo, and read— + </p> + <p> + “Do not expect me was married this morning to Colonel Markin S A we may + not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers glory be to God Laura + Markin” + </p> + <p> + She raised her eyes to his with the gravest, saddest irony. + </p> + <p> + “Then you—you also are delivered,” she said; but he said “What?” + without special heed; and I doubt whether he ever took the trouble to + understand her reference to their joint indebtedness. + </p> + <p> + “One hopes he isn't a brute,” Lindsay went on with most impersonal + solicitude, “and can support her. I suppose there isn't any way one could + do anything for her. I heard a story only yesterday about a girl changing + her mind on the way out. By Jove, I didn't suppose it would happen to me!” + </p> + <p> + “If you are hurt anywhere,” Hilda said absently, “it is only your vanity, + I fancy.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my vanity is very sore!” He paused for an instant, wondering to find + so little expansion in her. “I came to ask after Arnold,” he said. “How is + he?” + </p> + <p> + “He is dead. He died at half-past five this morning.” + </p> + <p> + She left him with even less than her usual circumstance, and turned in at + the gate of the Baker Institution. It happened to be the last day of her + probation. + </p> + <p> + There has never been any difficulty in explaining Lindsay's marriage with + Alicia Livingstone even to himself; the reasons for it, indeed, were so + many and so obvious that he wondered often why they had not struck him + earlier. But it is worth noting, perhaps, that the immediate precipitating + cause arose in one evening service at the Cathedral, where it had its + birth in the very individual charm of the nape of Alicia's neck, as she + knelt upon her hassock in the fitting and graceful act of the responses. + His instincts in these matters seem to have had a generous range, + considering the tenets he was born to, but it was to him then a delightful + reflection, often since repeated, that in the sheltered garden of delicate + perfumes where this sweet person took her spiritual pleasure there was no + rank vegetation. + </p> + <p> + It is much to Miss Hilda Howe's credit that amid the distractions of her + most successful London season she never quite abandons these two to the + social joys that circle round the Ochterlony Monument and the arid scenic + consolations of the Maidan. Her own experience there is one of the things, + I fancy, that make her fond of saying that the stage is the merest + cardboard presentation, and that one day she means to leave it, to coax + back to her bosom the life which is her heritage in the wider, simpler + ways of the world. She never mentions that experience more directly or + less ardently. But I fear the promise I have quoted is one that she makes + too often. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Path of a Star, by +Mrs. Everard Cotes (AKA Sara Jeannette Duncan) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PATH OF A STAR *** + +***** This file should be named 5102-h.htm or 5102-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/0/5102/ + +Produced by Don Lainson; David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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