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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f634cb6 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #50980 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/50980) diff --git a/old/50980-h.zip b/old/50980-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index b48f7a9..0000000 --- a/old/50980-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/50980-h/50980-h.htm b/old/50980-h/50980-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 472a48a..0000000 --- a/old/50980-h/50980-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1164 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Freelancer, by Robert Zacks. - </title> - - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1, .ph2, .ph3, .ph4 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: xx-large; margin: .67em auto; } -.ph2 { font-size: x-large; margin: .75em auto; } -.ph3 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } -.ph4 { font-size: medium; margin: 1.12em auto; } - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Freelancer, by Robert Zacks - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Freelancer - -Author: Robert Zacks - -Release Date: January 20, 2016 [EBook #50980] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FREELANCER *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="391" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>The Freelancer</h1> - -<p>By ROBERT ZACKS</p> - -<p>Illustrated by ASHMAN</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Galaxy Science Fiction September 1955.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph3"><i>Once these laws were passed, any time in<br /> -history—however bad—were the good old days!</i></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Jeb was shaken from his bed; his dream told him it was a glacier with -wild winds howling laughter, and when he opened his eyes, shivering, he -saw his wife, Laurie, had pulled the heat switch off. She stood there -glaring. Today her hair was a lovely purple with a fashionable streak -of gold starting from the forehead, but it didn't help the cold look on -her face.</p> - -<p>"Get up, you bum," she said in her sweet contralto. "Go out and earn -some credits or I'll certify you."</p> - -<p>The thought of being transferred by the Economy Agent to Assigned -Duty Status, with its virtual imprisonment to monotony by the Welfare -Office, made Jeb tumble from bed and fumble for his shoes.</p> - -<p>"My darling," he said placatingly, "how beautiful you are this morning! -How undeserving I am of you!"</p> - -<p>"You're damn right about that," said Laurie with bitterness. "When I -think of the men I could have married, the wonderful life I might have -lived, instead of scrimping along with a no-good freelance Monitor -like you...."</p> - -<p>"<i>Sometimes</i> I do pretty well. Three years ago, I sent you to the -Pleasure Palace for a month, remember?"</p> - -<p>"Three years ago. Big deal."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>She flounced out of the room. Sadly, Jeb went to the closet and -examined the various uniforms and disguises that were part of his -equipment as a freelance Monitor. As he selected the silver and black -skintight suit of an Air Pollution Inspector, he wistfully remembered -how nice it had been when Laurie had smiled at him. Immediately a flood -of determination filled him to go out and do big things today. Maybe -he would make a big strike and get a nice fat commission; then Laurie -would....</p> - -<p>The televisor buzzed, flickered, and the genial face of the man from -Marriage Relations appeared.</p> - -<p>"Good morning, Monitor Jeb," said the man, smiling. "And how are things -'twixt you and your beloved?"</p> - -<p>"Rough," moaned Jeb. "She's really in a foul mood today."</p> - -<p>The man from Marriage Relations beamed. "Fine, fine, glad to hear it."</p> - -<p>"Huh?" said Jeb.</p> - -<p>"Her Sadism Index Rating went up five points," the man explained. "We -wanted to make sure we hadn't made an error. Well, that certainly is -good news for you two. I'll guess you'll both be all right now."</p> - -<p>"All <i>right</i>? Are you <i>kidding</i>?"</p> - -<p>"Now, now, we know what's best for you. Your Masochism Rating is quite -high, you know. Laurie is just what you need. Why, you two were <i>made</i> -for each other."</p> - -<p>Suddenly the man stopped talking, gasped, and the screen flickered and -went dead. Jeb's astonishment was wiped away by the soft, silvery bell -tone of his portable Monitex, a flat two-by-six-inch machine resting on -a shelf nearby. As Jeb wildly lunged toward it, he saw it was glowing -red, activated by a violation, and as he snatched it up, the coded -reading dial had a notification: <i>Bx-P-203</i>.</p> - -<p>Trembling, Jeb pressed a button on the lower left of the Monitex and -a voice promptly droned mechanically from the waferlike loudspeaker -hidden under the surface, giving details of the violation.</p> - -<p>"Bx-P-203—At ten minutes after eight A.M., Monitex 27965 of -Freelance Monitor Jeb picked up violation of Copyright on the phrase -'were made for each other.' Said phrase property of Joint Owners -registered under Copyright of Verbal Phrases Act of 1996. Owners, -Magnum Motion Picture Studios and Universal Publications. Fee for use -80 credits, commission fifty per cent."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The voice went dead and the flat metal surface glowed with letters -strung into words reading "Please Collect and Remit Total Fee."</p> - -<p>As Jeb uttered a yelp of delight, Laurie came running into the room.</p> - -<p>"I heard the Monitex bell," she said eagerly.</p> - -<p>"You sure did," crowed Jeb. "Now aren't you proud of me? I was smart -enough to leave the Monitex on all night. We picked up a Verbal -Copyright violation...."</p> - -<p>"You left it on all night?" screeched Laurie, her joy fading. "You -imbecile, the leasing charge on the Monitex is ten credits an hour, -isn't it? What's your commission on this violation?"</p> - -<p>"Forty credits. I—I guess I'm losing money, b-but...."</p> - -<p>Laurie gave him her opinion of his supposed shrewdness.</p> - -<p>Jeb unhappily went to the televisor and punched out a call on the -button keyboard which would recall the image of the Marriage Relations -representative. He shrank back in alarm as the man's glaring face -appeared.</p> - -<p>"Sorry to hook you this way, old boy," said Jeb meekly, "but it's -my job, you know. Got you on a Verbal for using 'were made for each -other.' That phrase is owned by—"</p> - -<p>"You dirty, sneaking spy!" yelled the man on the televisor screen. -"I'll bet your grandfather informed on diamond smugglers for a -percentage."</p> - -<p>"He...." Jeb feebly started to protest.</p> - -<p>"It's a hell of a thing," raved the other, "when a man can't even use -words to express himself without paying...."</p> - -<p>In alarm, Jeb leaned forward and hastily punched a combination of -buttons on the televisor. One half the screen blanked. The image of -the Marriage Relations representative moved to the right and the lean, -puritanical face of Jeb's supervisor, Dirdon, flared onto the left half.</p> - -<p>Dirdon looked icily at Jeb. "What is it?"</p> - -<p>"Complaint on policy and purpose of Copyright Law," said Jeb nervously. -"Would you please handle it, sir? I'll switch you."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>As Dirdon's mouth pressed into a thin line and he nodded, Jeb flicked a -switch. Both men on the screen immediately turned profiles to Jeb and -Laurie, seeing each other in their own screens.</p> - -<p>"Did you have a complaint, sir?" asked Dirdon.</p> - -<p>"I don't know who the devil you are," shouted the man from Marriage -Relations, "but I assume you're one of those pirates cashing in on that -copyright swindle. That new law has gone much too far. Copyrighting a -work of skill, art, or expression is okay, I suppose, but to extend it -to everyday speech, to verbal phrases—"</p> - -<p>"Now just a minute," said Dirdon briskly. "You buy greeting cards, I -suppose, sir?"</p> - -<p>"So I buy greeting cards, so what?"</p> - -<p>"What are greeting cards exactly? Just a small square of paper with -a few words, a <i>very</i> few words of sentiment on them. Words that any -normal person certainly might be able to—"</p> - -<p>"Any moron can write a better sentiment than those lousy cards express."</p> - -<p>"But <i>you</i> buy them sometimes?"</p> - -<p>"Well ... sometimes."</p> - -<p>"Why?" demanded Dirdon.</p> - -<p>"Saves me the bother of figuring out what to say, I guess," was the -growled answer.</p> - -<p>"Right. And you <i>paid</i> for these very few moronic phrases, paid good -hard credits for them. Now isn't it just as logical to protect owners -of a phrase when somebody else uses it verbally?"</p> - -<p>"But," said the man desperately, "I didn't <i>want</i> to violate the -Copyright on Verbal Use. I didn't <i>know</i> that phrase was under -Copyright. Who can keep track of them all? Every day, more phrases and -expressions are under Copyright as somebody else's property. Why, first -thing you know, there'll hardly be any words left to say."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"That isn't true," objected Dirdon. "Copyright Law on Verbal Use is a -great boon to society. Rule 7 for admission to protection requires that -the phrase covered be one which may be considered 'shopworn, overused -and so artistically traditional that it is a wearisome truism.' That -means that verbal mediocrity is heavily penalized, which is right and -proper. Why, you ought to be ashamed to use a phrase like 'were made -for each other.' It's Monitors like Jeb who make you watch your words -and think very carefully before you speak."</p> - -<p>"Listen, stupid—"</p> - -<p>"Already," Dirdon plowed on, happily oratorical, "our citizens are -being forced to express themselves more richly, with initiative, -casting off triteness!"</p> - -<p>The man from Marriage Relations looked disgusted. "Ah," he said -angrily, "why don't you drop dead."</p> - -<p>Bong!</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The man moaned as the Monitex Jeb held glowed red with another -violation. Jeb grinned and pressed the loudspeaker button.</p> - -<p>"Mz-R-14," droned the voice. "At half-past eight, Monitex 27965 of -Freelance Monitor Jeb picked a violation of...."</p> - -<p>The man covered his ears. After a few moments, he took his hands away -and looked numbly from the screen as Dirdon smirked.</p> - -<p>"What's the Copyright fee on that one?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"The use of the words 'Drop Dead' will cost you ten credits," said Jeb. -"We'll bill you for both violations."</p> - -<p>Dirdon was beaming as Jeb snapped the whole screen dark.</p> - -<p>With a start, Jeb remembered Laurie and turned to face her anger. "See, -honeybunch?" he said hopefully. "Even if I did lose a few credits on -the leasing charge by leaving the Monitex on all night, it looks like a -lucky day. Why, I'll bet I make enough commissions today to send you on -a nice vacation."</p> - -<p>Laurie gave him a narrow-eyed, cold stare.</p> - -<p>"You'd better," she said. "Because I've just about had enough of you. -Either you make a big killing today or I certify you by midnight -tonight. Do you hear me?"</p> - -<p>Jeb nodded in fright. He scuttled out of the room, picking up a gravity -harness from the stand in the foyer and not pausing to buckle himself -into it until she slammed the door behind him.</p> - -<p>Sighing, Jeb got into the harness and took off. He floated out the -opening at the end of the corridor at the sixty-story level and joined -the stream of commuters at two thousand feet.</p> - -<p>As he set his speed at thirty miles an hour, he came abreast of a man -wearing the solid gray uniform of an Unassigned Citizen. Jeb saw the -look of misery on the man's drawn face and felt so sympathetic, he -didn't even bother to hide his Monitex in its disguising parcel. You -had to be pretty low to make your money out of a guy in that tough -status. <i>Hell</i>, thought Jeb defiantly, <i>let him see it and be warned; I -don't care. Even if the Inspector sees me.</i></p> - -<p>He noted the Unassigned Citizen staring down at the panorama of the -vast city beneath them. At different lower levels, myriad flights of -streaming citizens moved in various directions. The tremendous blocks -of buildings had thin slits between them at the bottom of which were -walks filled with antlike figures.</p> - -<p>"Ugly, huh?" said Jeb.</p> - -<p>He got a moody stare in return. "Believe it or not, I suddenly find it -beautiful. Compared to where I'm heading, anyway."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Jeb was shocked. "Oh?"</p> - -<p>"I've been certified," said the man bluntly. "Not enough credits for -support. I had to go to the Welfare Office and ask for assistance. Had -my own gravity harness repair shop till a month ago. But the new ones -are foolproof, business fell off. Now I'm in for it."</p> - -<p>"Gosh," muttered Jeb, "that's really tough. But what do you mean, -'compared to where you're heading?' Sure, you'll be assigned a dirty -underground job, on the cables maybe, and the pay will be ridiculous, -but it'll be right here, won't it?"</p> - -<p>"Haven't you heard?" The other smiled grimly. "So many of us small -business guys are being certified, the Welfare people had no more jobs. -And you know the law. Indigents must be assigned to some duty. And it -just happens that they're opening new mines on Mars and they can't get -help. I've no choice."</p> - -<p>"Mines?" Jeb paled at the thought. "That Melbonite dust. One speck -through the sealed-in suit and you've got a burn they still can't -heal." He shuddered; then, seeing the face of the Unassigned Citizen, -he said soothingly, "But those suits are foolproof, I understand."</p> - -<p>"Not always," said the man in gray. "Anyway, they haven't licked the -ventilation problem. The last suits they tried to air-condition, so -much Melbonite dust filtered in...." He took a deep breath of horror. -"So the ones in use become awfully sweaty. I'm going to a living -hell...."</p> - -<p>Bong!</p> - -<p>Jeb's Monitex glowed red with a violation. "Living Hell" was an -old-fashioned dramatic phrase somebody sharp had dug up after diligent -study and copyrighted in the hope of picking up a few credits.</p> - -<p>As Jeb numbly listened to the droning voice detail the facts and four -credits charge, the man in the gray suit said mirthlessly, "Well, well, -that's just fine. Thanks a lot, my friend, for a nice sendoff."</p> - -<p>Jeb snapped off the Monitex. "Look," he said hurriedly, "that was an -accident. This one is on me. Here." He took four credit tokens from a -pocket and thrust the silvery rectangles at the Unassigned Citizen. -"Put these aside until you're billed for the violation and pay it with -my credits. Okay?"</p> - -<p>"Thanks," said the man gratefully. "I'll remember you."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="391" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Jeb gave him a twisted grin. "You may not have to, pal. I may be right -beside you in the next shipment. My wife is ready to certify me for -non-support. If I don't clean up a nice fat commission by tonight, -blooey, it's the mines for me, too."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The Unassigned Citizen started to form the words <i>Good luck!</i> when Jeb -hastily interrupted, "That's on Copyright. Take it easy."</p> - -<p>"Uh ... my heart goes beside yours," said the man, choosing his words -carefully. "My sympathy has arms, one of which is around your mighty -shoulders. I say to you farewell."</p> - -<p>"Wonderful!" exclaimed Jeb. He pumped the other's hand. "I like the way -you put that. It's new. It has a freshness."</p> - -<p>They smiled at each other. Then the oval building that housed The -SuperMonitex Feeder came into view and Jeb waved good-by and swung out -of the commuter stream in the regulation spiral under the cold eyes of -a golden-clad traffic cop. Jeb landed on the balcony ledge outside the -ninetieth-level corridor and walked in, finally entering a huge room in -the center of which was a circular wall with plug outlets and sets of -dials and screens at intervals all the way around.</p> - -<p>Jeb greeted a few of his co-workers, but didn't pause to gossip. He -wasn't in a gay mood this morning, as were many of them who were -gleefully recounting some of the slick violations they'd picked up. Jeb -went to the circular wall and plugged his Monitex into a receptacle. He -punched a button marked <i>New Copyrights</i> and waited for the humming to -stop indicating that his Monitex had been fed all the latest phrases -added to the huge group protected by law.</p> - -<p>With his Monitex coded up to date, its memory bank fattened, Jeb went -to the supply room to requisition a hollowed-out air pollution meter to -conceal his Monitex. A hand tapped his shoulder.</p> - -<p>"Hi, there," said Monitor Platt, a lean-faced, smirking man Jeb -disliked. "I just came off night shift. Had a big evening."</p> - -<p>"Yeah?" asked Jeb, his skin crawling. Monitor Platt specialized in -copyright violations in the area of lakes and parks where lovers -murmured words they soon found out were not at all new and quite -expensive.</p> - -<p>Monitor Platt chuckled. "Been cleaning up on a new copyright just -registered. The good old wolf whistle. One hundred credits fee."</p> - -<p>Even Jeb was startled. "But that's not a phrase."</p> - -<p>"No, but it's a 'shopworn, overused and wearisome truism,' so they -slipped it through."</p> - -<p>"Golly, next thing you know, they'll be copyrighting a deep sigh or -the smacking sound of a kiss."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Monitor Platt laughed in appreciation. Then, as Jeb frowned and -attended to fitting his detector into the shell of the air pollution -meter, Monitor Platt regaled him with the violations that had poured -credits into his pockets.</p> - -<p>"Got a cute dame, nice curves, getting a good hugging under the moon -near the lake. She says timidly to this sap, 'It's the first time -I've ever been kissed, honestly.' Bong! Fifty credits for the expense -account. And another one I picked up in a canoe parked on the bank. -This guy says soulfully, 'I'm not the marrying kind, but....' He never -gets a chance to finish. Bong! Thirty credits. I sure cleaned up today. -If I were you, I'd head straight for the snuggle spots. A whole raft -of corny love lines have been blanketed in, you know, and nobody's -alerted."</p> - -<p>"Uh, well," muttered Jeb, who didn't want any enemies and so didn't -express his feelings about making a living from such a source, "I -already have my schedule figured out, but I'll keep it in mind."</p> - -<p>"Where you headed for?"</p> - -<p>Monitor Jeb was relieved when the big bell sounded, its brassy -reverberations warning Monitors to quit gabbing and get out into the -field to scoop up violations and revenue for the corporation. The -paunchy office manager, seated up on a small balcony overlooking -the giant hall, saw that the signal was, as usual, being ignored. -Indignantly he punched a button on the board facing him and a repulsive -odor filled the air which had the Monitors hastily seizing their -equipment and leaving the building.</p> - -<p>Jeb gladly took off into the windy canyons between the skyscrapers. -Instead of ascending, he plummeted down forty stories and drifted -along, his nostrils twitching with the bad air at this height. -Fleetingly, he had the grumbling thought that, with present-day -technology, there was no excuse at all for polluted atmosphere.</p> - -<p><i>Oh, well</i>, he thought, <i>one of these days, somebody public-minded -will do something about it. Right now, I've got to make enough to stop -Laurie from certifying me.</i></p> - -<p>He felt a sudden chill as he recalled his wife's threat. Quickly he -sought out the first location he'd mapped out for some easy revenue, -the personnel office of the Air Pollution Control Corp. Jeb switched -off anti-gravity and heavily walked through the corridor, stepped -inside the deep-rugged, gray and green office and joined the small -nervous group of inspectors waiting for interviews.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Jeb, in his air pollution uniform, was as acceptable as a long-used -piece of furniture. Unnoticed, he sat on one of the hard benches with -the others. They stared and listened to the interview being conducted -by the genial, balding man behind the open partition ten feet away. The -air pollution inspector facing him was tense, pale and overanxious.</p> - -<p>"Yes, indeed, you <i>do</i> have a good record," the personnel man was -saying approvingly. "No absences in five years, no latenesses. Very -good indeed."</p> - -<p>"Then," said the air pollution inspector eagerly, "I'll be upgraded? -I'll get that promotion promised two years ago?"</p> - -<p>The personnel man cleared his throat, but his smile remained radiant. -"Just as soon as business picks up, we'll give you a promotion and -raise in pay...."</p> - -<p>Bong!</p> - -<p>A roar of mirth arose from the waiting air pollution men as Monitor Jeb -nervously pulled his Monitex from its concealing pollution meter shell -and read the violation off to the enraged personnel man. A fifty credit -fee for use of the copyrighted verbal phrase <i>Just as soon as business -picks up, we'll give you a promotion and raise in pay.</i></p> - -<p>As Jeb escaped the wrath of his victim, one of the men snickering -nearby muttered, "Hah! He'll have to rack his tiny brain for a new way -of stalling us from now on."</p> - -<p>In the next three hours, Jeb drove himself hard. He picked up a twenty -credit fee when a doorman outside a Teletheatre had bonged the Monitex -with "Plenty of seats inside!" He scooped up another violation in a -bar when a bleary-eyed man with veins showing in his nose murmured to -the bartender, "Well, I'll have just <i>one</i> more." He wandered to the -telephone booths and waited for one of the standby violations to fall -into his pocket; sure enough, a handsome, dark-eyed fellow murmured -into the mouthpiece, "I'll be working late tonight again, honey; sorry."</p> - -<p>The time passed too swiftly and when Jeb paused to get a bite of food, -he saw, dismayed, that even though he was having a pretty good day, it -was far from the killing he'd promised Laurie. Ten and twenty credit -violations didn't make a man rich.</p> - -<p><i>What I need is one of the really big ones</i>, thought Jeb desperately.</p> - -<p>With fumbling fingers, he pressed out a core number on the Monitex.</p> - -<p>It glowed blue.</p> - -<p>The voice droned, "Information!"</p> - -<p>Jeb asked eagerly, "What have we got with fees of a thousand credits -and higher?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A moment hummed by. Then the voice announced that a large batch of -political "corn" had been copyrighted in view of the current election -campaign. Jeb listened with mounting excitement to some of them: <i>If I -am elected, taxes will be reduced.... As I look upon the intelligent -faces in my audience.... I am reminded of a story.... What a lovely -child, Madam.... A helicopter on every roof....</i></p> - -<p>Jeb shut it off, perspiration breaking out on his face. It was a -uranium mine! Jeb's mind reeled at the astonishing fee set for these -copyright violations. A thousand credits per use. The party in power -was really out to fight off the opposing Traditionalist Party with -every possible trick, with the result that Jeb could make the biggest -cleanup of his life.</p> - -<p>That is, if he got away alive.</p> - -<p>Full of foreboding, Jeb floated up toward the meeting rooms of the -local Traditionalist Headquarters, which were on the fiftieth level -of a nearby skyscraper. His terrified adrenal glands kicked his heart -into a frenzy. The boys who ran the local club were no patsies. Many -an argumentative citizen had been found floating in the rarified -stratosphere, frozen stiff, with his anti-gravity belt turned on full -and his hands bound so he could not stop the upward climb.</p> - -<p>Monitor Jeb nervously drifted into the corridor opening and restored -gravity. He sneaked past the open door, getting a quick glimpse of a -hall filled with citizens listening to a red-faced, stoutish man on a -platform.</p> - -<p>Jeb frantically searched for and, with throat-catching relief, -found the back entrance to the big hall. It led to a dusty area of -scaffolding and discarded, rusting tools. Now Jeb was crawling down an -incline leading under the platform and found the small, railed-off area -which once had housed a hidden prompter for musical entertainments.</p> - -<p>Panting, Jeb squatted in the dark, hearing the booming voice just above -him, only slightly muffled. As Jeb shoved the Monitex up against the -crack in the boards over him, the speaker's voice came to him strongly, -"Now, fellers, you're all precinct captains and it's a helluva empty -title to have when your party is outa power. But if we get back on the -gravy train—well, need I say more?"</p> - -<p>A muffled roar from the audience made Jeb crouch worriedly.</p> - -<p>"Now we're gonna take this election, see? I want all you <i>loyal party -workers</i>...."</p> - -<p>Bong!</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Howls of rage shook the walls and reverberated through to Jeb as the -political hacks recognized the sound and understood that somewhere a -Monitex had automatically recorded the voice vibration pattern of the -speaker in a Verbal Copyright violation.</p> - -<p>"Kill the dirty spy!" screamed the speaker.</p> - -<p>Bong! went the Monitex.</p> - -<p>"Lynch him!"</p> - -<p>In three minutes of unguarded outrage, Jeb had recorded ten thousand -credits in violations which the speakers never could escape because, -like fingerprints, all voice patterns were registered by the government.</p> - -<p>Jeb turned to the exit behind him and crawled painfully for twenty -feet, then got up and began running. He ran straight into a brawny body -at the turn of the corridor. The next thing he knew, he was on his back -and ruthless hands were banging his head against the floor.</p> - -<p>The siren of a golden-clad policeman cut the air and magically the -hands fell away, leaving Jeb sprawling and groggy.</p> - -<p>After a moment, he was able to focus his eyes. The policeman stared -down at him, fists authoritatively on his hips.</p> - -<p>"Well, I came just in time, eh?" said the cop. "Saved your neck."</p> - -<p>Bong! went the Monitex.</p> - -<p>Jeb said hastily, "It's all right, Officer. It's on the house."</p> - -<p>"It had damn well better be," growled the policeman. "If you know -what's good for you—"</p> - -<p>Bong! went the Monitex.</p> - -<p>"Go on, get outa here before I run ya in," yelled the officer.</p> - -<p>Bong! went the Monitex.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Have a good time, dear," Jeb called after Laurie as she happily took -off into space from their level, clutching her purse, which was jammed -with enough credits to keep her brimful of fun for two whole months at -the Pleasure Palace.</p> - -<p>"Don't you worry about that," said Laurie over her shoulder.</p> - -<p>Jeb went back to his apartment. He stretched out on the couch, -contentment welling up in him. He opened the footstool nearby -and, within its archaic shape, slid open the cunningly concealed -refrigerator. He took out a plastic cone of beer.</p> - -<p>"A-ah!" sighed Jeb. How wonderful to be alone, free of Laurie's nagging -for two whole months! A superb reward for his hard work. How clever of -the government to have passed such a regulation!</p> - -<p>After a while, like wax melting, his grin drooped away. It certainly -was quiet, wasn't it?</p> - -<p>Within half an hour, he was wild and didn't know why. Jittering, he -dialed his televisor and the man from Marriage Relations appeared on -the screen. He glared at Jeb and cautiously looked around for the -Monitex until he spotted it.</p> - -<p>"Shut that thing off or no advice," snapped the man.</p> - -<p>"It's <i>off</i>! Look, I don't know what's bothering me. Can I have special -permission to join my wife on her vacation? Or get her back here?"</p> - -<p>"Afraid not," said the man. "The principle of working so one's wife -can have a vacation has been established through the centuries; the -government merely put it into law. And as for joining her or getting -her back here—that's against the law."</p> - -<p>"But that's unfair!" yelled Jeb.</p> - -<p>"Oh?" The man smiled. "So! I'm glad to see how happy, how perfect is -the marriage we arranged for you." He rubbed his hands in delight. -"She's just barely gone and already you miss her. Wonderful."</p> - -<p>"Wonderful? I'm <i>suffering</i>!"</p> - -<p>The man from Marriage Relations glanced at a dial nearby. "Of course -you are. Suffering is the ideal joy for a Masochist. Just think what a -lovely two months of missing her you'll have."</p> - -<p>"All right, so it's a rule that I have to send her on a vacation and -can't join her," Jeb complained savagely, "but, damn it, she doesn't -have to <i>enjoy</i> it!"</p> - -<p>"Well," said the man, looking back to Jeb, "there's the answer. Your -Masochism index has gone down any number of points. You're angry!"</p> - -<p>Jeb thought it over. "You bet I am! But what do I do about it?"</p> - -<p>"Why," said the man from Marriage Relations, "the same thing husbands -have been doing ever since they started working to send their wives -away on vacations. When the cat's away, you know—" He stopped in alarm.</p> - -<p>Jeb grinned. "I told you the Monitex is off. But thanks for the trite -truism. She thinks <i>she's</i> the only one who'll have a vacation, eh? -I'll show her!"</p> - -<p>"Service is our motto. And it really is," the man said pugnaciously. -"We own the Copyright."</p> - -<p>The face flickered off the screen and Jeb began poking around in -innocent-looking secret places for a little black book he hadn't -thought of using in years.</p> - -<p>He was dismayed to find himself singing "My wife's gone to the country, -hooray, hooray," until he remembered that he actually had shut off the -Monitex.</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Freelancer, by Robert Zacks - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FREELANCER *** - -***** This file should be named 50980-h.htm or 50980-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/9/8/50980/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Freelancer - -Author: Robert Zacks - -Release Date: January 20, 2016 [EBook #50980] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FREELANCER *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - The Freelancer - - By ROBERT ZACKS - - Illustrated by ASHMAN - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Galaxy Science Fiction September 1955. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - Once these laws were passed, any time in - history--however bad--were the good old days! - - -Jeb was shaken from his bed; his dream told him it was a glacier with -wild winds howling laughter, and when he opened his eyes, shivering, he -saw his wife, Laurie, had pulled the heat switch off. She stood there -glaring. Today her hair was a lovely purple with a fashionable streak -of gold starting from the forehead, but it didn't help the cold look on -her face. - -"Get up, you bum," she said in her sweet contralto. "Go out and earn -some credits or I'll certify you." - -The thought of being transferred by the Economy Agent to Assigned -Duty Status, with its virtual imprisonment to monotony by the Welfare -Office, made Jeb tumble from bed and fumble for his shoes. - -"My darling," he said placatingly, "how beautiful you are this morning! -How undeserving I am of you!" - -"You're damn right about that," said Laurie with bitterness. "When I -think of the men I could have married, the wonderful life I might have -lived, instead of scrimping along with a no-good freelance Monitor -like you...." - -"_Sometimes_ I do pretty well. Three years ago, I sent you to the -Pleasure Palace for a month, remember?" - -"Three years ago. Big deal." - - * * * * * - -She flounced out of the room. Sadly, Jeb went to the closet and -examined the various uniforms and disguises that were part of his -equipment as a freelance Monitor. As he selected the silver and black -skintight suit of an Air Pollution Inspector, he wistfully remembered -how nice it had been when Laurie had smiled at him. Immediately a flood -of determination filled him to go out and do big things today. Maybe -he would make a big strike and get a nice fat commission; then Laurie -would.... - -The televisor buzzed, flickered, and the genial face of the man from -Marriage Relations appeared. - -"Good morning, Monitor Jeb," said the man, smiling. "And how are things -'twixt you and your beloved?" - -"Rough," moaned Jeb. "She's really in a foul mood today." - -The man from Marriage Relations beamed. "Fine, fine, glad to hear it." - -"Huh?" said Jeb. - -"Her Sadism Index Rating went up five points," the man explained. "We -wanted to make sure we hadn't made an error. Well, that certainly is -good news for you two. I'll guess you'll both be all right now." - -"All _right_? Are you _kidding_?" - -"Now, now, we know what's best for you. Your Masochism Rating is quite -high, you know. Laurie is just what you need. Why, you two were _made_ -for each other." - -Suddenly the man stopped talking, gasped, and the screen flickered and -went dead. Jeb's astonishment was wiped away by the soft, silvery bell -tone of his portable Monitex, a flat two-by-six-inch machine resting on -a shelf nearby. As Jeb wildly lunged toward it, he saw it was glowing -red, activated by a violation, and as he snatched it up, the coded -reading dial had a notification: _Bx-P-203_. - -Trembling, Jeb pressed a button on the lower left of the Monitex and -a voice promptly droned mechanically from the waferlike loudspeaker -hidden under the surface, giving details of the violation. - -"Bx-P-203--At ten minutes after eight A.M., Monitex 27965 of -Freelance Monitor Jeb picked up violation of Copyright on the phrase -'were made for each other.' Said phrase property of Joint Owners -registered under Copyright of Verbal Phrases Act of 1996. Owners, -Magnum Motion Picture Studios and Universal Publications. Fee for use -80 credits, commission fifty per cent." - - * * * * * - -The voice went dead and the flat metal surface glowed with letters -strung into words reading "Please Collect and Remit Total Fee." - -As Jeb uttered a yelp of delight, Laurie came running into the room. - -"I heard the Monitex bell," she said eagerly. - -"You sure did," crowed Jeb. "Now aren't you proud of me? I was smart -enough to leave the Monitex on all night. We picked up a Verbal -Copyright violation...." - -"You left it on all night?" screeched Laurie, her joy fading. "You -imbecile, the leasing charge on the Monitex is ten credits an hour, -isn't it? What's your commission on this violation?" - -"Forty credits. I--I guess I'm losing money, b-but...." - -Laurie gave him her opinion of his supposed shrewdness. - -Jeb unhappily went to the televisor and punched out a call on the -button keyboard which would recall the image of the Marriage Relations -representative. He shrank back in alarm as the man's glaring face -appeared. - -"Sorry to hook you this way, old boy," said Jeb meekly, "but it's -my job, you know. Got you on a Verbal for using 'were made for each -other.' That phrase is owned by--" - -"You dirty, sneaking spy!" yelled the man on the televisor screen. -"I'll bet your grandfather informed on diamond smugglers for a -percentage." - -"He...." Jeb feebly started to protest. - -"It's a hell of a thing," raved the other, "when a man can't even use -words to express himself without paying...." - -In alarm, Jeb leaned forward and hastily punched a combination of -buttons on the televisor. One half the screen blanked. The image of -the Marriage Relations representative moved to the right and the lean, -puritanical face of Jeb's supervisor, Dirdon, flared onto the left half. - -Dirdon looked icily at Jeb. "What is it?" - -"Complaint on policy and purpose of Copyright Law," said Jeb nervously. -"Would you please handle it, sir? I'll switch you." - - * * * * * - -As Dirdon's mouth pressed into a thin line and he nodded, Jeb flicked a -switch. Both men on the screen immediately turned profiles to Jeb and -Laurie, seeing each other in their own screens. - -"Did you have a complaint, sir?" asked Dirdon. - -"I don't know who the devil you are," shouted the man from Marriage -Relations, "but I assume you're one of those pirates cashing in on that -copyright swindle. That new law has gone much too far. Copyrighting a -work of skill, art, or expression is okay, I suppose, but to extend it -to everyday speech, to verbal phrases--" - -"Now just a minute," said Dirdon briskly. "You buy greeting cards, I -suppose, sir?" - -"So I buy greeting cards, so what?" - -"What are greeting cards exactly? Just a small square of paper with -a few words, a _very_ few words of sentiment on them. Words that any -normal person certainly might be able to--" - -"Any moron can write a better sentiment than those lousy cards express." - -"But _you_ buy them sometimes?" - -"Well ... sometimes." - -"Why?" demanded Dirdon. - -"Saves me the bother of figuring out what to say, I guess," was the -growled answer. - -"Right. And you _paid_ for these very few moronic phrases, paid good -hard credits for them. Now isn't it just as logical to protect owners -of a phrase when somebody else uses it verbally?" - -"But," said the man desperately, "I didn't _want_ to violate the -Copyright on Verbal Use. I didn't _know_ that phrase was under -Copyright. Who can keep track of them all? Every day, more phrases and -expressions are under Copyright as somebody else's property. Why, first -thing you know, there'll hardly be any words left to say." - - * * * * * - -"That isn't true," objected Dirdon. "Copyright Law on Verbal Use is a -great boon to society. Rule 7 for admission to protection requires that -the phrase covered be one which may be considered 'shopworn, overused -and so artistically traditional that it is a wearisome truism.' That -means that verbal mediocrity is heavily penalized, which is right and -proper. Why, you ought to be ashamed to use a phrase like 'were made -for each other.' It's Monitors like Jeb who make you watch your words -and think very carefully before you speak." - -"Listen, stupid--" - -"Already," Dirdon plowed on, happily oratorical, "our citizens are -being forced to express themselves more richly, with initiative, -casting off triteness!" - -The man from Marriage Relations looked disgusted. "Ah," he said -angrily, "why don't you drop dead." - -Bong! - - * * * * * - -The man moaned as the Monitex Jeb held glowed red with another -violation. Jeb grinned and pressed the loudspeaker button. - -"Mz-R-14," droned the voice. "At half-past eight, Monitex 27965 of -Freelance Monitor Jeb picked a violation of...." - -The man covered his ears. After a few moments, he took his hands away -and looked numbly from the screen as Dirdon smirked. - -"What's the Copyright fee on that one?" he asked. - -"The use of the words 'Drop Dead' will cost you ten credits," said Jeb. -"We'll bill you for both violations." - -Dirdon was beaming as Jeb snapped the whole screen dark. - -With a start, Jeb remembered Laurie and turned to face her anger. "See, -honeybunch?" he said hopefully. "Even if I did lose a few credits on -the leasing charge by leaving the Monitex on all night, it looks like a -lucky day. Why, I'll bet I make enough commissions today to send you on -a nice vacation." - -Laurie gave him a narrow-eyed, cold stare. - -"You'd better," she said. "Because I've just about had enough of you. -Either you make a big killing today or I certify you by midnight -tonight. Do you hear me?" - -Jeb nodded in fright. He scuttled out of the room, picking up a gravity -harness from the stand in the foyer and not pausing to buckle himself -into it until she slammed the door behind him. - -Sighing, Jeb got into the harness and took off. He floated out the -opening at the end of the corridor at the sixty-story level and joined -the stream of commuters at two thousand feet. - -As he set his speed at thirty miles an hour, he came abreast of a man -wearing the solid gray uniform of an Unassigned Citizen. Jeb saw the -look of misery on the man's drawn face and felt so sympathetic, he -didn't even bother to hide his Monitex in its disguising parcel. You -had to be pretty low to make your money out of a guy in that tough -status. _Hell_, thought Jeb defiantly, _let him see it and be warned; I -don't care. Even if the Inspector sees me._ - -He noted the Unassigned Citizen staring down at the panorama of the -vast city beneath them. At different lower levels, myriad flights of -streaming citizens moved in various directions. The tremendous blocks -of buildings had thin slits between them at the bottom of which were -walks filled with antlike figures. - -"Ugly, huh?" said Jeb. - -He got a moody stare in return. "Believe it or not, I suddenly find it -beautiful. Compared to where I'm heading, anyway." - - * * * * * - -Jeb was shocked. "Oh?" - -"I've been certified," said the man bluntly. "Not enough credits for -support. I had to go to the Welfare Office and ask for assistance. Had -my own gravity harness repair shop till a month ago. But the new ones -are foolproof, business fell off. Now I'm in for it." - -"Gosh," muttered Jeb, "that's really tough. But what do you mean, -'compared to where you're heading?' Sure, you'll be assigned a dirty -underground job, on the cables maybe, and the pay will be ridiculous, -but it'll be right here, won't it?" - -"Haven't you heard?" The other smiled grimly. "So many of us small -business guys are being certified, the Welfare people had no more jobs. -And you know the law. Indigents must be assigned to some duty. And it -just happens that they're opening new mines on Mars and they can't get -help. I've no choice." - -"Mines?" Jeb paled at the thought. "That Melbonite dust. One speck -through the sealed-in suit and you've got a burn they still can't -heal." He shuddered; then, seeing the face of the Unassigned Citizen, -he said soothingly, "But those suits are foolproof, I understand." - -"Not always," said the man in gray. "Anyway, they haven't licked the -ventilation problem. The last suits they tried to air-condition, so -much Melbonite dust filtered in...." He took a deep breath of horror. -"So the ones in use become awfully sweaty. I'm going to a living -hell...." - -Bong! - -Jeb's Monitex glowed red with a violation. "Living Hell" was an -old-fashioned dramatic phrase somebody sharp had dug up after diligent -study and copyrighted in the hope of picking up a few credits. - -As Jeb numbly listened to the droning voice detail the facts and four -credits charge, the man in the gray suit said mirthlessly, "Well, well, -that's just fine. Thanks a lot, my friend, for a nice sendoff." - -Jeb snapped off the Monitex. "Look," he said hurriedly, "that was an -accident. This one is on me. Here." He took four credit tokens from a -pocket and thrust the silvery rectangles at the Unassigned Citizen. -"Put these aside until you're billed for the violation and pay it with -my credits. Okay?" - -"Thanks," said the man gratefully. "I'll remember you." - -Jeb gave him a twisted grin. "You may not have to, pal. I may be right -beside you in the next shipment. My wife is ready to certify me for -non-support. If I don't clean up a nice fat commission by tonight, -blooey, it's the mines for me, too." - - * * * * * - -The Unassigned Citizen started to form the words _Good luck!_ when Jeb -hastily interrupted, "That's on Copyright. Take it easy." - -"Uh ... my heart goes beside yours," said the man, choosing his words -carefully. "My sympathy has arms, one of which is around your mighty -shoulders. I say to you farewell." - -"Wonderful!" exclaimed Jeb. He pumped the other's hand. "I like the way -you put that. It's new. It has a freshness." - -They smiled at each other. Then the oval building that housed The -SuperMonitex Feeder came into view and Jeb waved good-by and swung out -of the commuter stream in the regulation spiral under the cold eyes of -a golden-clad traffic cop. Jeb landed on the balcony ledge outside the -ninetieth-level corridor and walked in, finally entering a huge room in -the center of which was a circular wall with plug outlets and sets of -dials and screens at intervals all the way around. - -Jeb greeted a few of his co-workers, but didn't pause to gossip. He -wasn't in a gay mood this morning, as were many of them who were -gleefully recounting some of the slick violations they'd picked up. Jeb -went to the circular wall and plugged his Monitex into a receptacle. He -punched a button marked _New Copyrights_ and waited for the humming to -stop indicating that his Monitex had been fed all the latest phrases -added to the huge group protected by law. - -With his Monitex coded up to date, its memory bank fattened, Jeb went -to the supply room to requisition a hollowed-out air pollution meter to -conceal his Monitex. A hand tapped his shoulder. - -"Hi, there," said Monitor Platt, a lean-faced, smirking man Jeb -disliked. "I just came off night shift. Had a big evening." - -"Yeah?" asked Jeb, his skin crawling. Monitor Platt specialized in -copyright violations in the area of lakes and parks where lovers -murmured words they soon found out were not at all new and quite -expensive. - -Monitor Platt chuckled. "Been cleaning up on a new copyright just -registered. The good old wolf whistle. One hundred credits fee." - -Even Jeb was startled. "But that's not a phrase." - -"No, but it's a 'shopworn, overused and wearisome truism,' so they -slipped it through." - -"Golly, next thing you know, they'll be copyrighting a deep sigh or -the smacking sound of a kiss." - - * * * * * - -Monitor Platt laughed in appreciation. Then, as Jeb frowned and -attended to fitting his detector into the shell of the air pollution -meter, Monitor Platt regaled him with the violations that had poured -credits into his pockets. - -"Got a cute dame, nice curves, getting a good hugging under the moon -near the lake. She says timidly to this sap, 'It's the first time -I've ever been kissed, honestly.' Bong! Fifty credits for the expense -account. And another one I picked up in a canoe parked on the bank. -This guy says soulfully, 'I'm not the marrying kind, but....' He never -gets a chance to finish. Bong! Thirty credits. I sure cleaned up today. -If I were you, I'd head straight for the snuggle spots. A whole raft -of corny love lines have been blanketed in, you know, and nobody's -alerted." - -"Uh, well," muttered Jeb, who didn't want any enemies and so didn't -express his feelings about making a living from such a source, "I -already have my schedule figured out, but I'll keep it in mind." - -"Where you headed for?" - -Monitor Jeb was relieved when the big bell sounded, its brassy -reverberations warning Monitors to quit gabbing and get out into the -field to scoop up violations and revenue for the corporation. The -paunchy office manager, seated up on a small balcony overlooking -the giant hall, saw that the signal was, as usual, being ignored. -Indignantly he punched a button on the board facing him and a repulsive -odor filled the air which had the Monitors hastily seizing their -equipment and leaving the building. - -Jeb gladly took off into the windy canyons between the skyscrapers. -Instead of ascending, he plummeted down forty stories and drifted -along, his nostrils twitching with the bad air at this height. -Fleetingly, he had the grumbling thought that, with present-day -technology, there was no excuse at all for polluted atmosphere. - -_Oh, well_, he thought, _one of these days, somebody public-minded -will do something about it. Right now, I've got to make enough to stop -Laurie from certifying me._ - -He felt a sudden chill as he recalled his wife's threat. Quickly he -sought out the first location he'd mapped out for some easy revenue, -the personnel office of the Air Pollution Control Corp. Jeb switched -off anti-gravity and heavily walked through the corridor, stepped -inside the deep-rugged, gray and green office and joined the small -nervous group of inspectors waiting for interviews. - - * * * * * - -Jeb, in his air pollution uniform, was as acceptable as a long-used -piece of furniture. Unnoticed, he sat on one of the hard benches with -the others. They stared and listened to the interview being conducted -by the genial, balding man behind the open partition ten feet away. The -air pollution inspector facing him was tense, pale and overanxious. - -"Yes, indeed, you _do_ have a good record," the personnel man was -saying approvingly. "No absences in five years, no latenesses. Very -good indeed." - -"Then," said the air pollution inspector eagerly, "I'll be upgraded? -I'll get that promotion promised two years ago?" - -The personnel man cleared his throat, but his smile remained radiant. -"Just as soon as business picks up, we'll give you a promotion and -raise in pay...." - -Bong! - -A roar of mirth arose from the waiting air pollution men as Monitor Jeb -nervously pulled his Monitex from its concealing pollution meter shell -and read the violation off to the enraged personnel man. A fifty credit -fee for use of the copyrighted verbal phrase _Just as soon as business -picks up, we'll give you a promotion and raise in pay._ - -As Jeb escaped the wrath of his victim, one of the men snickering -nearby muttered, "Hah! He'll have to rack his tiny brain for a new way -of stalling us from now on." - -In the next three hours, Jeb drove himself hard. He picked up a twenty -credit fee when a doorman outside a Teletheatre had bonged the Monitex -with "Plenty of seats inside!" He scooped up another violation in a -bar when a bleary-eyed man with veins showing in his nose murmured to -the bartender, "Well, I'll have just _one_ more." He wandered to the -telephone booths and waited for one of the standby violations to fall -into his pocket; sure enough, a handsome, dark-eyed fellow murmured -into the mouthpiece, "I'll be working late tonight again, honey; sorry." - -The time passed too swiftly and when Jeb paused to get a bite of food, -he saw, dismayed, that even though he was having a pretty good day, it -was far from the killing he'd promised Laurie. Ten and twenty credit -violations didn't make a man rich. - -_What I need is one of the really big ones_, thought Jeb desperately. - -With fumbling fingers, he pressed out a core number on the Monitex. - -It glowed blue. - -The voice droned, "Information!" - -Jeb asked eagerly, "What have we got with fees of a thousand credits -and higher?" - - * * * * * - -A moment hummed by. Then the voice announced that a large batch of -political "corn" had been copyrighted in view of the current election -campaign. Jeb listened with mounting excitement to some of them: _If I -am elected, taxes will be reduced.... As I look upon the intelligent -faces in my audience.... I am reminded of a story.... What a lovely -child, Madam.... A helicopter on every roof...._ - -Jeb shut it off, perspiration breaking out on his face. It was a -uranium mine! Jeb's mind reeled at the astonishing fee set for these -copyright violations. A thousand credits per use. The party in power -was really out to fight off the opposing Traditionalist Party with -every possible trick, with the result that Jeb could make the biggest -cleanup of his life. - -That is, if he got away alive. - -Full of foreboding, Jeb floated up toward the meeting rooms of the -local Traditionalist Headquarters, which were on the fiftieth level -of a nearby skyscraper. His terrified adrenal glands kicked his heart -into a frenzy. The boys who ran the local club were no patsies. Many -an argumentative citizen had been found floating in the rarified -stratosphere, frozen stiff, with his anti-gravity belt turned on full -and his hands bound so he could not stop the upward climb. - -Monitor Jeb nervously drifted into the corridor opening and restored -gravity. He sneaked past the open door, getting a quick glimpse of a -hall filled with citizens listening to a red-faced, stoutish man on a -platform. - -Jeb frantically searched for and, with throat-catching relief, -found the back entrance to the big hall. It led to a dusty area of -scaffolding and discarded, rusting tools. Now Jeb was crawling down an -incline leading under the platform and found the small, railed-off area -which once had housed a hidden prompter for musical entertainments. - -Panting, Jeb squatted in the dark, hearing the booming voice just above -him, only slightly muffled. As Jeb shoved the Monitex up against the -crack in the boards over him, the speaker's voice came to him strongly, -"Now, fellers, you're all precinct captains and it's a helluva empty -title to have when your party is outa power. But if we get back on the -gravy train--well, need I say more?" - -A muffled roar from the audience made Jeb crouch worriedly. - -"Now we're gonna take this election, see? I want all you _loyal party -workers_...." - -Bong! - - * * * * * - -Howls of rage shook the walls and reverberated through to Jeb as the -political hacks recognized the sound and understood that somewhere a -Monitex had automatically recorded the voice vibration pattern of the -speaker in a Verbal Copyright violation. - -"Kill the dirty spy!" screamed the speaker. - -Bong! went the Monitex. - -"Lynch him!" - -In three minutes of unguarded outrage, Jeb had recorded ten thousand -credits in violations which the speakers never could escape because, -like fingerprints, all voice patterns were registered by the government. - -Jeb turned to the exit behind him and crawled painfully for twenty -feet, then got up and began running. He ran straight into a brawny body -at the turn of the corridor. The next thing he knew, he was on his back -and ruthless hands were banging his head against the floor. - -The siren of a golden-clad policeman cut the air and magically the -hands fell away, leaving Jeb sprawling and groggy. - -After a moment, he was able to focus his eyes. The policeman stared -down at him, fists authoritatively on his hips. - -"Well, I came just in time, eh?" said the cop. "Saved your neck." - -Bong! went the Monitex. - -Jeb said hastily, "It's all right, Officer. It's on the house." - -"It had damn well better be," growled the policeman. "If you know -what's good for you--" - -Bong! went the Monitex. - -"Go on, get outa here before I run ya in," yelled the officer. - -Bong! went the Monitex. - - * * * * * - -"Have a good time, dear," Jeb called after Laurie as she happily took -off into space from their level, clutching her purse, which was jammed -with enough credits to keep her brimful of fun for two whole months at -the Pleasure Palace. - -"Don't you worry about that," said Laurie over her shoulder. - -Jeb went back to his apartment. He stretched out on the couch, -contentment welling up in him. He opened the footstool nearby -and, within its archaic shape, slid open the cunningly concealed -refrigerator. He took out a plastic cone of beer. - -"A-ah!" sighed Jeb. How wonderful to be alone, free of Laurie's nagging -for two whole months! A superb reward for his hard work. How clever of -the government to have passed such a regulation! - -After a while, like wax melting, his grin drooped away. It certainly -was quiet, wasn't it? - -Within half an hour, he was wild and didn't know why. Jittering, he -dialed his televisor and the man from Marriage Relations appeared on -the screen. He glared at Jeb and cautiously looked around for the -Monitex until he spotted it. - -"Shut that thing off or no advice," snapped the man. - -"It's _off_! Look, I don't know what's bothering me. Can I have special -permission to join my wife on her vacation? Or get her back here?" - -"Afraid not," said the man. "The principle of working so one's wife -can have a vacation has been established through the centuries; the -government merely put it into law. And as for joining her or getting -her back here--that's against the law." - -"But that's unfair!" yelled Jeb. - -"Oh?" The man smiled. "So! I'm glad to see how happy, how perfect is -the marriage we arranged for you." He rubbed his hands in delight. -"She's just barely gone and already you miss her. Wonderful." - -"Wonderful? I'm _suffering_!" - -The man from Marriage Relations glanced at a dial nearby. "Of course -you are. Suffering is the ideal joy for a Masochist. Just think what a -lovely two months of missing her you'll have." - -"All right, so it's a rule that I have to send her on a vacation and -can't join her," Jeb complained savagely, "but, damn it, she doesn't -have to _enjoy_ it!" - -"Well," said the man, looking back to Jeb, "there's the answer. Your -Masochism index has gone down any number of points. You're angry!" - -Jeb thought it over. "You bet I am! But what do I do about it?" - -"Why," said the man from Marriage Relations, "the same thing husbands -have been doing ever since they started working to send their wives -away on vacations. When the cat's away, you know--" He stopped in alarm. - -Jeb grinned. "I told you the Monitex is off. But thanks for the trite -truism. She thinks _she's_ the only one who'll have a vacation, eh? -I'll show her!" - -"Service is our motto. And it really is," the man said pugnaciously. -"We own the Copyright." - -The face flickered off the screen and Jeb began poking around in -innocent-looking secret places for a little black book he hadn't -thought of using in years. - -He was dismayed to find himself singing "My wife's gone to the country, -hooray, hooray," until he remembered that he actually had shut off the -Monitex. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Freelancer, by Robert Zacks - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FREELANCER *** - -***** This file should be named 50980.txt or 50980.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/9/8/50980/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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