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diff --git a/old/ajtl10.txt b/old/ajtl10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bd67336 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/ajtl10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5702 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Aunt Judy's Tales, by Mrs Alfred Gatty +(#1 in our series by Mrs Alfred Gatty) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Aunt Judy's Tales + +Author: Mrs Alfred Gatty + +Release Date: February, 2004 [EBook #5074] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on April 14, 2002] +[Most recently updated: April 14, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, AUNT JUDY'S TALES *** + + + + +Transcribed from the 1859 Bell and Daldy edition by David Price, +email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk +*** +AUNT JUDY'S TALES + + + + +TO THE "LITTLE ONES" IN MANY HOMES, +THIS VOLUME IS DEDICATED. +M. G. + + + +Contents: + The Little Victims + Vegetables out of Place + Cook Stories + Rabbits' Tails + Out of the Way + Nothing to do + + + +THE LITTLE VICTIMS. + + + +"Save our blessings, Master, save, +From the blight of thankless eye." +Lyra Innocentium. + + +There is not a more charming sight in the domestic world, than that +of an elder girl in a large family, amusing what are called the +LITTLE ONES. + +How could mamma have ventured upon that cosy nap in the arm-chair by +the fire, if she had been harassed by wondering what the children +were about? Whereas, as it was, she had overheard No. 8 begging the +one they all called "Aunt Judy," to come and tell them a story, and +she had beheld Aunt Judy's nod of consent; whereupon she had shut her +eyes, and composed herself to sleep quite complacently, under the +pleasant conviction that all things were sure to be in a state of +peace and security, so long as the children were listening to one of +those curious stories of Aunt Judy's, in which, with so much drollery +and amusement, there was sure to be mixed up some odd scraps of +information, or bits of good advice. + +So, mamma being asleep on one side of the fire, and papa reading the +newspaper on the other, Aunt Judy and No. 8 noiselessly left the +room, and repaired to the large red-curtained dining-room, where the +former sat down to concoct her story, while the latter ran off to +collect the little ones together. + +In less than five minutes' time there was a stream of noise along the +passage--a bursting open of the door, and a crowding round the fire, +by which Aunt Judy sat. + +The "little ones" had arrived in full force and high expectation. We +will not venture to state their number. An order from Aunt Judy, +that they should take their seats quietly, was but imperfectly +obeyed; and a certain amount of hustling and grumbling ensued, which +betrayed a rather quarrelsome tendency. + +At last, however, the large circle was formed, and the bright +firelight danced over sunny curls and eager faces. Aunt Judy glanced +her eye round the group; but whatever her opinion as an artist might +have been of its general beauty, she was by no means satisfied with +the result of her inspection. + +"No. 6 and No. 7," cried she, "you are not fit to listen to a story +at present. You have come with dirty hands." + +No. 6 frowned, and No. 7 broke out at once into a howl; he had washed +his hands ever so short a time ago, and had done nothing since but +play at knuckle-bones on the floor! Surely people needn't wash their +hands every ten minutes! It was very hard! + +Aunt Judy had rather a logical turn of mind, so she set about +expounding to the "little ones" in general, and to Nos. 6 and 7 in +particular, that the proper time for washing people's hands was when +their hands were dirty; no matter how lately the operation had been +performed before. Such, at least, she said, was the custom in +England, and everyone ought to be proud of belonging to so clean and +respectable a country. She, therefore, insisted that Nos. 6 and 7 +should retire up-stairs and perform the necessary ablution, or +otherwise they would be turned out, and not allowed to listen to the +story. + +Nos. 6 and 7 were rather restive. The truth was, it had been one of +those unlucky days which now and then will occur in families, in +which everything seemed to be perverse and go askew. It was a dark, +cold, rainy day in November, and going out had been impossible. The +elder boys had worried, and the younger ones had cried. It was +Saturday too, and the maids were scouring in all directions, waking +every echo in the back-premises by the grating of sand-stone on the +flags; and they had been a good deal discomposed by the family effort +to play at "Wolf" in the passages. Mamma had been at accounts all +the morning, trying to find out some magical corner in which expenses +could be reduced between then and the arrival of Christmas bills; +and, moreover, it was a half-holiday, and the children had, as they +call it, nothing to do. + +So Nos. 6 and 7, who had been vexed about several other little +matters before, during the course of the day, broke out now on the +subject of the washing of their hands. + +Aunt Judy was inexorable however--inexorable though cool; and the +rest got impatient at the delay which the debate occasioned: so, +partly by coaxing, and partly by the threat of being shut out from +hearing the story, Nos. 6 and 7 were at last prevailed upon to go up- +stairs and wash their grim little paws into that delicate shell-like +pink, which is the characteristic of juvenile fingers when clean. + +As they went out, however, they murmured, in whimpered tones, that +they were sure it was VERY HARD! + +After their departure, Aunt Judy requested the rest not to talk, and +a complete silence ensued, during which one or two of the youngest +evidently concluded that she was composing her story, for they stared +at her with all their might, as if to discover how she did it. + +Meantime the rain beat violently against the panes, and the red +curtains swayed to and fro from the effect of the wind, which, in +spite of tolerable woodwork, found its way through the divisions of +the windows. There was something very dreary in the sound, and very +odd in the varying shades of red which appeared upon the curtains as +they swerved backwards and forwards in the firelight. + +Several of the children observed it, but no one spoke until the +footsteps of Nos. 6 and 7 were heard approaching the door, on which a +little girl ventured to whisper, "I'm very glad I'm not out in the +wind and rain;" and a boy made answer, "Why, who would be so silly as +to think of going out in the wind and rain? Nobody, of course!" + +At that moment Nos. 6 and 7 entered, and took their places on two +little Derby chairs, having previously showed their pink hands in +sombre silence to Aunt Judy, whereupon Aunt Judy turned herself so as +to face the whole group, and then began her story as follows:- + +"There were once upon a time eight little Victims, who were shut up +in a large stone-building, where they were watched night and day by a +set of huge grown-up keepers, who made them do whatever they chose." + +"Don't make it TOO sad, Aunt Judy," murmured No. 8, half in a tremble +already. + +"You needn't be frightened, No. 8," was the answer; "my stories +always end well." + +"I'm so glad," chuckled No. 8 with a grin, as he clapped one little +fat hand down upon the other on his lap in complete satisfaction. +"Go on, please." + +"Was the large stone-building a prison, Aunt Judy?" inquired No. 7. + +"That depends upon your ideas of a prison," answered Aunt Judy. +"What do you suppose a prison is?" + +"Oh, a great big place with walls all round, where people are locked +up, and can't go in and out as they choose." + +"Very well. Then I think you may be allowed to call the place in +which the little Victims were kept a prison, for it certainly was a +great big place with walls all round, and they were locked up at +night, and not allowed to go in and out as they chose." + +"Poor things," murmured No. 8; but he consoled himself by +recollecting that the story was to end well. + +"Aunt Judy, before you go on, do tell us what VICTIMS are? Are they +fairies, or what? I don't know." + +This was the request of No. 5, who was rather more thoughtful than +the rest, and was apt now and then to delay a story by his inquiring +turn of mind. + +No. 6 was in a hurry to hear some more, and nudged No. 5 to make him +be quiet; but Aunt Judy interposed; said she did not like to tell +stories to people who didn't care to know what they meant, and +declared that No. 5 was quite right in asking what a victim was. + +"A victim," said she, "was the creature which the old heathens used +to offer up as a sacrifice, after they had gained a victory in +battle. You all remember I dare say," continued she, "what a +sacrifice is, and have heard about Abel's sacrifice of the firstlings +of his flock." + +The children nodded assent, and Aunt Judy went on:- + +"No such sacrifices are ever offered up now by us Christians, and so +there are no more real VICTIMS now. But we still use the word, and +call any creature a victim who is ill-used, or hurt, or destroyed by +somebody else. + +"If you, any of you, were to worry or kill the cat, for instance, +then the cat would be called THE VICTIM OF YOUR CRUELTY; and in the +same manner the eight little Victims I am going to tell you about +were the victims of the whims and cruel prejudices of those who had +the charge of them. + +"And now, before I proceed any further, I am going to establish a +rule, that whenever I tell you anything very sad about the little +Victims, you shall all of you groan aloud together. So groan here, +if you please, now that you quite understand what a victim is." + +Aunt Judy glanced round the circle, and they all groaned together to +order, led off by Nos. 3 and 4, who did not, it must be owned, look +in a very mournful state while they performed the ceremony. + +It was wonderful what good that groan did them all! It seemed to +clear off half the troubles of the day, and at its conclusion a smile +was visible on every face. + +Aunt Judy then proceeded:- + +"I do not want to make you cry too much, but I will tell you of the +miseries the captive victims underwent in the course of one single +day, and then you will be able to judge for yourselves what a life +they led together. + +"One of their heaviest miseries happened every evening. It was the +misery of GOING TO BED. Perhaps now you may think it sounds odd that +going to bed should be called a misery. But you shall hear how it +was. + +"In the evening, when all the doors were safely locked and bolted, so +that no one could get away, the little Victims were summoned down- +stairs, and brought into a room where some of the keepers were sure +to be sitting in the greatest luxury. There was generally a warm +fire on the hearth, and a beautiful lamp on the table, which shed an +agreeable light around, and made everything look so pretty and gay, +the hearts of the poor innocent Victims always rose at the sight. + +"Sometimes there would be a huge visitor or two present, who would +now and then take the Victims on their knees, and say all manner of +entertaining things to them. Or there would be nice games for them +to play at. Or the keepers themselves would kiss them, and call them +kind names, as if they really loved them. How nice all this sounds, +does it not? And it would have been nice, if the keepers would but +have let it last for ever. But that was just the one thing they +never would do, and the consequence was, that, whatever pleasure they +might have had, the wretched Victims always ended by being +dissatisfied and sad. + +"And how could it be otherwise? Just when they were at the height of +enjoyment, just when everything was most delightful, a horrible knock +was sure to be heard at the door, the meaning of which they all knew +but too well. It was the knock which summoned them to bed; and at +such a moment you cannot wonder that going to bed was felt to be a +misfortune. + +"Had there been a single one among them who was sleepy, or tired, or +ready for bed, there would have been some excuse for the keepers; but +as it was, there was none, for the little Victims never knew what it +was to feel tired or weary on those occasions, and were always +carried forcibly away before that feeling came on. + +"Of course, when the knock was heard, they would begin to cry, and +say that it was very hard, and that they didn't WANT to go to bed, +and one went so far once as to add that she WOULDN'T go to bed. + +"But it was all in vain. The little Victims might as well have +attempted to melt a stone wall as those hard-hearted beings who had +the charge of them. + +"And now, my dears," observed Aunt Judy, stopping in her account, +"this is of all others the exact moment at which you ought to show +your sympathy with the sufferers, and groan." + +The little ones groaned accordingly, but in a very feeble manner. + +Aunt Judy shook her head. + +"That groan is not half hearty enough for such a misery. Don't you +think, if you tried hard, you could groan a little louder?" + +They did try, and succeeded a little better, but cast furtive glances +at each other immediately after. + +"Were the beds very uncomfortable ones, Aunt Judy?" inquired No. 8, +in a subdued voice. + +"You shall judge for yourself," was the answer. "They were raised +off the floor upon legs, so that no wind from under the door could +get at them; and on the flat bottom called the bed-stock, there was +placed a thick strong bag called a mattress, which was stuffed with +some soft material which made it springy and pleasant to touch or lie +down upon. The shape of it was a long square, or what may be called +a rectangular parallelogram. I strongly advise you all to learn that +word, for it is rather an amusing idea as one steps into bed, to +think that one is going to sleep upon a parallelogram." + +Nos. 3 and 4 were here unable to contain themselves, but broke into a +peal of laughter. The little ones stared. + +"Well," resumed Aunt Judy, "for my part, I think it's a very nice +thing to learn the ins and outs of one's own life; to consider how +one's bed is made, and the why and wherefore of its shape and +position. It is a great pity to get so accustomed to things as not +to know their value till we lose them! But to proceed. + +"On the top of this parallelogramatic mattress was laid a soft +blanket. On the top of that blanket, two white sheets. On the top +of the sheets, two or more warm blankets, and on the top of the +blankets, a spotted cover called a counterpane. + +"Now it was between the sheets that each little Victim was laid, and +such were the receptacles to which they were unwillingly consigned, +night after night of their lives! + +"But I have not yet told you half the troubles of this dreadful +'going to bed.' A good fire with a large tub before it, and towels +hung over the fender, was always the first sight which met the +tearful eyes of the little Victims as they entered the nursery after +being torn from the joys of the room down-stairs. And then, lo and +behold! a new misery began, for, whether owing to the fatigue of +getting up-stairs, or that their feelings had been so much hurt, they +generally discovered at this moment that they were one and all so +excessively tired, they didn't know what to do;--of all things, did +not choose to be washed--and insisted, each of them, on being put to +bed first! But let them say what they would, and cry afresh as they +pleased, and even snap and snarl at each other like so many small +terriers, those cruel keepers of theirs never would grant their +requests; never would put any of them to bed dirty, and always +declared that it was impossible to put each of them to bed first! + +Imagine now the feelings of those who had to wait round the fire +while the others were attended to! Imagine the weariness, the +disgust, before the whole party was finished, and put by for the +night!" + +Aunt Judy paused, but no one spoke. + +"What!" cried she suddenly, "will nobody groan? Then I must groan +myself!" which she did, and a most unearthly noise she made; so much +so, that two or three of the little ones turned round to look at the +swelling red curtains, just to make sure the howl did not proceed +from thence. + +After which Aunt Judy continued her tale:- + +"So much for night and going to bed, about which there is nothing +more to relate, as the little Victims were uncommonly good sleepers, +and seldom awoke till long after daylight. + +"Well now, what do you think? By the time they had had a good night, +they felt so comfortable in their beds, that they were quite +contented to remain there; and then, of course, their tormentors +never rested till they had forced them to get up! Poor little +things! Just think of their being made to go to bed at night, when +they most disliked it, and then made to get up in the morning, when +they wanted to stay in bed! It certainly was, as they always said, +'very, very hard.' This was, of course, a winter misery, when the +air was so frosty and cold that it was very unpleasant to jump out +into it from a warm nest. Terrible scenes took place on these +occasions, I assure you, for sometimes the wretched Victims would sit +shivering on the floor, crying over their socks and shoes instead of +putting them on, (which they had no spirit for,) and then the savage +creatures who managed them would insult them by irritating speeches. + +"'Come, Miss So-and-So,' one would say, 'don't sit fretting there; +there's a warm fire, and a nice basin of bread-and-milk waiting for +you, if you will only be quick and get ready.' + +"Get ready! a nice order indeed! It meant that they must wash +themselves and be dressed before they would be allowed to touch a +morsel of food. + +"But it is of no use dwelling on the unfeelingness of those keepers. +One day one of them actually said:- + +"'If you knew what it was to have to get up without a fire to come +to, and without a breakfast to eat, you would leave off grumbling at +nothing.' + +"NOTHING! they called it NOTHING to have to get out of a warm bed +into the fresh morning air, and dress before breakfast! + +"Well, my dears," pursued Aunt Judy, after waiting here a few +seconds, to see if anybody would groan, "I shall take it for granted +you feel for the GETTING-UP misery as well as the GOING-TO-BED one, +although you have not groaned as I expected. I will just add, in +conclusion, that the summer GETTING-UP misery was just the reverse of +this winter one. Then the poor little wretches were expected to wait +till their nursery was dusted and swept; so there they had to lie, +sometimes for half-an-hour, with the sun shining in upon them, not +allowed to get up and come out into the dirt and dust! + +"Of course, on those occasions they had nothing to do but squabble +among themselves and teaze; and I assure you they had every now and +then a very pleasant little revenge on their keepers, for they half +worried them out of their lives by disturbances and complaints, and +at any rate that was some comfort to them, although very often it +hindered the nursery from being done half as soon as it would have +been if they had been quiet. + +"I shall not have time to tell of everything," continued Aunt Judy, +"so I must hurry over the breakfast, although the keepers contrived +to make even that miserable, by doing all they could to prevent the +little Victims from spilling their food on the table and floor, and +also by insisting on the poor little things sitting tolerably upright +on their seats--NOT lolling with both elbows on the table-cloth--NOT +making a mess--not, in short, playing any of those innocent little +pranks in which young creatures take delight. + +"It was a pitiable spectacle, as you may suppose, to see reasonable +beings constrained against their inclinations to sit quietly while +they ate their hearty morning meal, which really, perhaps, they might +have enjoyed, had they been allowed to amuse themselves in their own +fashion at the same time. + +"But I must go on now to that great misery of the day, which I shall +call the LESSON misery. + +"Now you must know, the little Victims were all born, as young kids, +lambs, kittens, and puppy-dogs are, with a decided liking for jumping +about and playing all day long. Think, therefore, what their +sufferings were when they were placed in chairs round a table, and +obliged to sit and stare at queer looking characters in books until +they had learned to know them what was called BY HEART. It was a +very odd way of describing it, for I am sure they had often no heart +in the matter, unless it was a hearty dislike. + +"'Tommy Brown in the village never learns any lessons,' cried one of +them once to the creature who was teaching him, 'why should I? He is +always playing at oyster-dishes in the gutter when I see him, and +enjoying himself. I wish _I_ might enjoy myself!' + +"Poor Victim! He little thought what a tiresome lecture this clever +remark of his would bring on his devoted head! + +"Don't ask me to repeat it. It amounted merely to this, that twenty +years hence he would he very glad he had learnt something else +besides making oyster-dishes in the streets. As if that signified to +him now! As if it took away the nuisance of having to learn at the +present moment, to be told it would be of use hereafter! What was +the use of its being of use by-and-by? + +"So thought the little Victim, young as he was; so, said he, in a +muttering voice:- + +"'I don't care about twenty years hence; I want to be happy now!' + +"This was unanswerable, as you may suppose; so the puzzled teacher +didn't attempt to make a reply, but said:- + +"'Go on with your lessons, you foolish little boy!' + +"See what it is to be obstinate," pursued Aunt Judy. "See how it +blinds people's eyes, and prevents them from knowing right from +wrong! Pray take warning, and never be obstinate yourselves; and +meantime, let us have a good hearty groan for the LESSON misery." + +The little ones obeyed, and breathed out a groan that seemed to come +from the very depths of their hearts; but somehow or other, as the +story proceeded, the faces looked rather less amused, and rather more +anxious, than at first. + +What could the little ones be thinking about to make them grave? + +It was evidently quite a relief when Aunt Judy went on:- + +"You will be very much surprised, I dare say," said she, "to hear of +the next misery I am going to tell you about. It may be called the +DINNER misery, and the little Victims underwent it every day." + +"Did they give them nasty things to eat, Aunt Judy?" murmured No. 8, +very anxiously. + +"More likely not half enough," suggested No. 5. + +"But you promised not to make the story TOO sad, remember!" observed +No. 6. + +"I did," replied Aunt Judy, "and the DINNER misery did not consist in +nasty food, or there not being enough. They had plenty to eat, I +assure you, and everything was good. But--" + +Aunt Judy stopped short, and glanced at each of the little ones in +succession. + +"Make haste, Aunt Judy!" cried No. 8. "But what?" + +"BUT," resumed Aunt Judy, in her most impressive tone, "they had to +wait between the courses." + +Again Aunt Judy paused, and there was a looking hither and thither +among the little ones, and a shuffling about on the small Derby +chairs, while one or two pairs of eyes were suddenly turned to the +fire, as if watching it relieved a certain degree of embarrassment +which their owners began to experience. + +"It is not every little boy or girl," was Aunt Judy's next remark, +"who knows what the courses of a dinner are." + +"_I_ don't," interposed No. 8, in a distressed voice, as if he had +been deeply injured. + +"Oh, you think not? Well, not by name, perhaps," answered Aunt Judy. +"But I will explain. The courses of a dinner are the different sorts +of food, which follow each other one after the other, till dinner is +what people call 'over.' Thus, supposing a dinner was to begin with +pea-soup, as you have sometimes seen it do, you would expect when it +was taken away to see some meat put upon the table, should you not?" + +The little ones nodded assent. + +"And after the meat was gone, you would expect pie or pudding, eh?" + +They nodded assent again, and with a smile. + +"And if after the pudding was carried away, you saw some cheese and +celery arrive, it would not startle you very much, would it?" + +The little ones did nothing but laugh. + +"Very well," pursued Aunt Judy, "such a dinner as we have been +talking about consists of four courses. The soup course, the meat +course, the pudding course, and the cheese course. And it was while +one course was being carried out, and another fetched in, that the +little Victims had to wait; and that was the DINNER misery I spoke +about, and a very grievous affair it was. Sometimes they had +actually to wait several minutes, with nothing to do but to fidget on +their chairs, lean backwards till they toppled over, or forward till +some accident occurred at the table. And then, poor little things, +if they ventured to get out their knuckle-bones for a game, or took +to a little boxing amusement among themselves, or to throwing the +salt in each other's mugs, or pelting each other with bits of bread, +or anything nice and entertaining, down came those merciless keepers +on their innocent mirth, and the old stupid order went round for +sitting upright and quiet. Nothing that I can say about it would be +half as expressive as what the little Victims used to say themselves. +They said that it was 'SO VERY HARD.' + +"Now, then, a good groan for the DINNER misery," exclaimed Aunt Judy +in conclusion. + +The order was obeyed, but somewhat reluctantly, and then Aunt Judy +proceeded with her tale. + +"On one occasion of the DINNER misery," resumed she, "there happened +to be a stranger lady present, who seemed to be very much shocked by +what the Victims had to undergo, and to pity them very much; so she +said she would set them a nice little puzzle to amuse them till the +second course arrived. But now, what do you think the puzzle was? +It was a question, and this was it. 'Which is the harder thing to +bear--to have to wait for your dinner, or to have no dinner to wait +for?' + +"I do not think the little Victims would have quite known what the +stranger lady meant, if she had not explained herself; for you see +THEY had never gone without dinner in their lives, so they had not an +idea what sort of a feeling it was to have NO DINNER TO WAIT FOR. +But she went on to tell them what it was like as well as she could. +She described to them little Tommy Brown, (whom they envied so much +for having no lessons to do,) eating his potatoe soaked in the +dripping begged at the squire's back-door, without anything else to +wait--or hope for. She told them that HE was never teazed as to how +he sat, or even whether he sat or stood, and then she asked them if +they did not think he was a very happy little boy? He had no trouble +or bother, but just ate his rough morsel in any way he pleased, and +then was off, hungry or not hungry, into the streets again. + +"To tell you the truth," pursued Aunt Judy, "the Victims did not know +what to say to the lady's account of little Tommy Brown's happiness; +but as the roast meat came in just as it concluded, perhaps that +diverted their attention. However, after they had all been helped, +it was suddenly observed that one of them would not begin to eat. He +sat with his head bent over his plate, and his cheeks growing redder +and redder, till at last some one asked what was amiss, and why he +would not go on with his dinner, on which he sobbed out that he had +'much rather it was taken to little Tommy Brown!'" + +"That was a very GOOD little Victim, wasn't he?" asked No. 8. + +"But what did the keepers say?" inquired No. 5, rather anxiously. + +"Oh," replied Aunt Judy, "it was soon settled that Tommy Brown was to +have the dinner, which made the little Victim so happy, he actually +jumped for joy. On which the stranger lady told them she hoped they +would henceforth always ask themselves her curious question whenever +they sat down to a good meal again. 'For,' said she, 'my dears, it +will teach you to be thankful; and you may take my word for it, it is +always the ungrateful people who are the most miserable ones.'" + +"Oh, Aunt Judy!" here interposed No. 6, somewhat vehemently, "you +need not tell any more! I know you mean US by the little Victims! +But you don't think we really MEAN to be ungrateful about the beds, +or the dinners, or anything, do you?" + +There was a melancholy earnestness in the tone of the inquiry, which +rather grieved Aunt Judy, for she knew it was not well to magnify +childish faults into too great importance: so she took No. 6 on her +knee, and assured her she never imagined such a thing as their being +really ungrateful, for a moment. If she had, she added, she should +not have turned their little ways into fun, as she had done in the +story. + +No. 6 was comforted somewhat on hearing this, but still leant her +head on Aunt Judy's shoulder in a rather pensive state. + +"I wonder what makes one so tiresome," mused the meditative No. 5, +trying to view the matter quite abstractedly, as if he himself was in +no way concerned in it. + +"Thoughtlessness only," replied Aunt Judy, smiling. "I have often +heard mamma say it is not ingratitude in CHILDREN when they don't +think about the comforts they enjoy every day; because the comforts +seem to them to come, like air and sunshine, as a mere matter of +course." + +"Really?" exclaimed No. 6, in a quite hopeful tone. "Does mamma +really say that?" + +Yes; but then you know," continued Aunt Judy, "everybody has to be +taught to think by degrees, and then they get to know that no +comforts ever do really come to anybody as a matter of course. No, +not even air and sunshine; but every one of them as blessings +permitted by God, and which, therefore, we have to be thankful for. +So you see we have to LEARN to be thankful as we have to learn +everything else, and mamma says it is a lesson that never ends, even +for grown-up people. + +"And now you understand, No. 6, that you--oh! I beg pardon, I mean +THE LITTLE VICTIMS--were not really ungrateful, but only thoughtless; +and the wonderful stranger lady did something to cure them of that, +and, in fact, proved a sort of Aunt Judy to them; for she explained +things in such a very entertaining manner, that they actually began +to think the matter over; and then they left off being stupid and +unthankful. + +"But this reminds me," added Aunt Judy, "that you--tiresome No. 6-- +have spoilt my story after all! I had not half got to the end of the +miseries. For instance, there was the TAKING-CARE misery, in +consequence of which the little Victims were sent out to play on a +fine day, and kept in when it was stormy and wet, all because those +stupid keepers were more anxious to keep them well in health than to +please them at the moment. + +"And then there was--above all--" here Aunt Judy became very +impressive, "the WASHING misery, which consisted in their being +obliged to make themselves clean and comfortable with soap and water +whenever they happened to be dirty, whether with playing at knuckle- +bones on the floor, or anything else, and which was considered SO +HARD that--" + +But here a small hand was laid on Aunt Judy's mouth, and a gentle +voice said, "Stop, Aunt Judy, now!" on which the rest shouted, "Stop! +stop! we won't hear any more," in chorus, until all at once, in the +midst of the din, there sounded outside the door the ominous +knocking, which announced the hour of repose to the juvenile branches +of the family. + +It was a well-known summons, but on this occasion produced rather an +unusual effect. First, there was a sudden profound silence, and +pause of several seconds; then an interchange of glances among the +little ones; then a breaking out of involuntary smiles upon several +young faces; and at last a universal "Good-night, Aunt Judy!" very +quietly and demurely spoken. + +"If the little Victims were only here to see how YOU behave over the +GOING-TO-BED misery, what a lesson it would be!" suggested Aunt Judy, +with a mischievous smile. + +"Ah, yes, yes, we know, we know!" was the only reply, and it came +from No. 8, who took advantage of being the youngest to be more saucy +than the rest. + +Aunt Judy now led the little party into the drawing-room to bid their +father and mother good-night too. And certainly when the door was +opened, and they saw how bright and cosy everything looked, in the +light of the fire and the lamps, with mamma at the table, wide awake +and smiling, they underwent a fearful twinge of the GOING-TO-BED +misery. But they checked all expression of their feelings. Of +course, mamma asked what Aunt Judy's story had been about, and heard; +and heard, too, No. 6's little trouble lest she should have been +guilty of the sin of real ingratitude; and, of course, mamma +applauded Aunt Judy's explanation about the want of thought, very +much indeed. + +"But, mamma," said No. 6 to her mother, "Aunt Judy said something +about grown-up people having to learn to be thankful. Surely you and +papa never cry for nonsense, and things you can't have?" + +"Ah, my darling No. 6," cried mamma earnestly, "grown-up people may +not CRY for what they want exactly, but they are just as apt to wish +for what they cannot have, as you little ones are. For instance, +grown-up people would constantly like to have life made easier and +more agreeable to them, than God chooses it to be. They would like +to have a little more wealth, perhaps, or a little more health, or a +little more rest, or that their children should always be good and +clever, and well and happy. And while they are thinking and fretting +about the things they want, they forget to be thankful for those they +have. I am often tempted in this way myself, dear No. 6; so you see +Aunt Judy is right, and the lesson of learning to be thankful never +ends, even for grown-up people. + +"One other word before you go. I dare say you little ones think we +grown-up people are quite independent, and can do just as we like. +But it is not so. We have to learn to submit to the will of the +great Keeper of Heaven and earth, without understanding it, just as +Aunt Judy's little Victims had to submit to their keepers without +knowing why. So thank Aunt Judy for her story, and let us all do our +best to be obedient and contented." + +"When I am old enough, mother," remarked No. 7, in his peculiarly +mild and deliberate way of speaking, and smiling all the time, "I +think I shall put Aunt Judy into a story. Don't you think she would +make a capital Ogre's wife, like the one in 'Jack and the Bean- +Stalk,' who told Jack how to behave, and gave him good advice?" + +It was a difficult question to say "No" to, so mamma kissed No. 7, +instead of answering him, and No. 7 smiled himself away, with his +head full of the bright idea. + + + +VEGETABLES OUT OF PLACE. + + + +"But any man that walks the mead, + In bud or blade, or bloom, may find, +According as his humours lead, + A meaning suited to his mind." +TENNYSON. + +It was a fine May morning. Not one of those with an east wind and a +bright sun, which keep people in a puzzle all as day to whether it is +hot or cold, and cause endless nursery disputes about the keeping on +of comforters and warm coats, whenever a hoop-race, or some such +active exertion, has brought a universal puggyness over the juvenile +frame--but it was a really mild, sweet-scented day, when it is quite +a treat to be out of doors, whether in the gardens, the lanes, or the +fields, and when nothing but a holland jacket is thought necessary by +even the most tiresomely careful of mammas. + +It was not a day which anybody would have chosen to be poorly upon; +but people have no choice in such matters, and poor little No. 7, of +our old friends "the little ones," was in bed ill of the measles. + +The wise old Bishop, Jeremy Taylor, told us long ago, how well +children generally bear sickness. "They bear it," he says, "by a +direct sufferance;" that is to say, they submit to just what +discomfort exists at the moment, without fidgetting about either a +cause or a consequence," and decidedly without fretting about what is +to come. + +For a grown-up person to attain to the same state of unanxious +resignation, is one of the high triumphs of Christian faith. It is +that "delivering one's self up," of which the poor speak so forcibly +on their sick-beds. + +No. 7 proved a charming instance of the truth of Jeremy Taylor's +remark. He behaved in the most composed manner over his feelings, +and even over his physic. + +During the first day or two, when he sat shivering by the fire, +reading "Neill D'Arcy's Life at Sea," and was asked how he felt, he +answered with his usual smile; "Oh, all right; only a little cold now +and then." And afterwards, when he was in bed in a darkened room, +and the same question was put, he replied almost as quietly, (though +without the smile,) "Oh--only a little too hot." + +Then over the medicine, he contested nothing. He made, indeed, one +or two by no means injudicious suggestions, as to the best method of +having the disagreeable material, whether powdery or oleaginous, (I +will not particularize further!) conveyed down his throat: commonly +said, "Thank you," even before he had swallowed it; and then shut his +eyes, and kept himself quiet. + +Fortunately No. 1, and Schoolboy No. 3, had had the complaint as well +as papa and mamma, so there were plenty to share in the nursing and +house matters. The only question was, what was to be done with the +little ones while Nurse was so busy; and Aunt Judy volunteered her +services in their behalf. + +Now it will easily be supposed, after what I have said, that the +nursing was not at all a difficult undertaking; but I am grieved to +say that Aunt Judy's task was by no means so easy a one. + +The little ones were very sorry, it is true, that No. 7 was poorly; +but, unluckily, they forgot it every time they went either up-stairs +or down. They could not bear in their minds the fact, that when they +encouraged the poodle to bark after an India-rubber ball, he was +pretty sure to wake No. 7 out of a nap; and, in short, the day being +so fine, and the little ones so noisy, Aunt Judy packed them all off +into their gardens to tidy them up, she herself taking her station in +a small study, the window of which looked out upon the family play- +ground. + +Her idea, perhaps, was, that she could in this way combine the +prosecution of her own studies, with enacting policeman over the +young gardeners, and "keeping the peace," as she called it. But if +so, she was doomed to disappointment. + +The operation of "tidying up gardens," as performed by a set of +"little ones," scarcely needs description. + +It consists of a number of alterations being thought of, and set +about, not one of which is ever known to be finished by those who +begin them. It consists of everybody wanting the rake at the same +moment, and of nobody being willing to use the other tools, which +they call stupid and useless things. It consists of a great many +plants being moved from one place to another, when they are in full +flower, and dying in consequence. (But how, except when they are in +flower, can anyone judge where they will look best?) It consists of +a great many seeds being prevented from coming up at all, by an +"alteration" cutting into the heart of the patch just as they were +bursting their shells for a sprout. It consists of an unlimited and +fatal application of the cold-water cure. + +And, finally, it results in such a confusion between foot-walks and +beds--such a mixture of earth and gravel, and thrown-down tools--that +anyone unused to the symptoms of the case, might imagine that the +door of the pigsty in the yard had been left open, and that its +inhabitant had been performing sundry uncouth gambols with his nose +in the little ones' gardens. + +Aunt Judy was quite aware of these facts, and she had accordingly +laid down several rules, and given several instructions to prevent +the usual catastrophe; and all went very smoothly at first in +consequence. The little ones went out all hilarity and delight, and +divided the tools with considerable show of justice, while Aunt Judy +nodded to them approvingly out of her window, and then settled down +to an interesting sum in that most peculiar of all arithmetical +rules, "The Rule of False," the principle of which is, that out of +two errors, made by yourself from two wrong guesses, you arrive at a +discovery of the truth! + +When Aunt Judy first caught sight of this rule, a few days before, at +the end of an old summing-book, it struck her fancy at once. The +principle of it was capable of a much more general application than +to the "Rule of False," and she amused herself by studying it up. + +It is, no doubt, a clumsy substitute for algebra; but young folks who +have not learnt algebra, will find it a very entertaining method of +making out all such sums as the following old puzzler, over which +Aunt Judy was now poring: + +"There is a certain fish, whose head is 9 inches in length, his tail +as long as his head and half of his back, and his back as long as +both head and tail together. Query, the length of the fish?" + +But Aunt Judy was not left long in peace with her fish. While she +was in the thick of "suppositions" and "errors," a tap came at the +window. + +"Aunt Judy!" + +"Stop!" was the answer; and the hand of the speaker went up, with the +slate-pencil in it, enforcing silence while she pursued her +calculations. + +"Say, back 42 inches; then tail (half back) 21, and head given, 9, +that's 30, and 30 and 9, 39 back.--Won't do! Second error: three +inches--What's the matter, No. 6? You surely have not begun to +quarrel already?" + +"Oh, no," answered No. 6, with her nose flattened against the window- +pane. "But please, Aunt Judy, No. 8 won't have the oyster-shell +trimming round his garden any longer, he says; he says it looks so +rubbishy. But as my garden joins his down the middle, if he takes +away the oyster-shells all round his, then one of MY sides--the one +in the middle, I mean--will be left bare, don't you see? and I want +to keep the oyster-shells all round may garden, because mamma says +there are still some zoophytes upon them. So how is it to be?" + +What a perplexity! The fish with his nine-inch head, and his tail as +long as his head and half of his back, was a mere nothing to it. + +Aunt Judy threw open the window. + +"My dear No. 6," answered she, "yours is the great boundary-line +question about which nations never do agree, but go squabbling on +till some one has to give way first. There is but one plan for +settling it, and that is, for each of you to give up a piece of your +gardens to make a road to run between. Now if you'll both give way +at once, and consent to this, I will come out to you myself, and +leave my fish till the evening. It's much too fine to stay in doors, +I feel; and I can give you all something real to do." + +"I'LL give way, I'm sure, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, quite glad to be +rid of the dispute; "and so will you, won't you, No. 8?" she added, +appealing to that young gentleman, who stood with his pinafore full +of dirty oyster-shells, not quite understanding the meaning of what +was said. + +"I'll WHAT?" inquired he. + +"Oh, never mind! Only throw the oyster-shells down, and come with +Aunt Judy. It will be much better fun than staying here." + +No. 8 lowered his pinafore at the word of command, and dropped the +discarded oyster-shells, one by one--where do you think?--why--right +into the middle of his little garden! an operation which seemed to be +particularly agreeable to him, if one might judge by his face. He +was not sorry either to be relieved from the weight. + +"You see, Aunt Judy," continued No. 6 to her sister, who had now +joined them, "it doesn't so much matter about the oyster-shell +trimming; but No. 8's garden is always in such a mess, that I must +have a wall or something between us!" + +"You shall have a wall or a path decidedly," replied Aunt Judy: "a +road is the next best thing to a river for a boundary-line. But now, +all of you, pick up the tools and come with me, and you shall do some +regular work, and be paid for it at the rate of half-a-farthing for +every half hour. Think what a magnificent offer!" + +The little ones thought so in reality, and welcomed the arrangement +with delight, and trudged off behind Aunt Judy, calculating so hard +among themselves what their conjoint half-farthings would come to, +for the half-hours they all intended to work, and furthermore, what +amount or variety of "goodies" they would purchase, that Aunt Judy +half fancied herself back in the depths of the "Rule of False" again! + +She led them at last to a pretty shrubbery-walk, of which they were +all very fond. On one side of it was a quick-set hedge, in which the +honeysuckle was mixed so profusely with the thorn, that they grew and +were clipped together. + +It was the choicest spot for a quiet evening stroll in summer that +could possibly be imagined. The sweet scent from the honeysuckle +flowers stole around you with a welcome as you moved along, and set +you a dreaming of some far-off region where the delicious sensations +produced by the odour of flowers may not be as transient as they are +here. + +There was an alcove in the middle of the walk--not one of the modern +mockeries of rusticity--but a real old-fashioned lath-and-plaster +concern, such as used to be erected in front of a bowling-green. It +was roofed in, was open only on the sunny side, and was supported by +a couple of little Ionic pillars, up which clematis and passion- +flower were studiously trained. + +There was a table as well as seats within; and the alcove was a very +nice place for either reading or drawing in, as it commanded a pretty +view of the distant country. It was also, and perhaps especially, +suited to the young people in their more poetical and fanciful moods. + +The little ones had no sooner reached the entrance of the favourite +walk, than they scampered past Aunt Judy to run a race; but No. 6 +stopped suddenly short. + +"Aunt Judy, look at these horrible weeds! Ah! I do believe this is +what you have brought us here for!" + +It was indeed; for some showers the evening before, had caused them +to flourish in a painfully prominent manner, and the favourite walk +presented a somewhat neglected appearance. + +So Aunt Judy marked it off for the little ones to weed, repeated the +exhilarating promise of the half-farthings, and seated herself in the +alcove to puzzle out the length of the fish. + +At first it was rather amusing to hear, how even in the midst of +their weeding, the little ones pursued their calculations of the +anticipated half-farthings, and discussed the niceness and prices of +the various descriptions of "goodies." + +But by degrees, less and less was said; and at last, the half- +farthings and "goodies" seemed altogether forgotten, and a new idea +to arise in their place. + +The new idea was, that this weeding-task was uncommonly troublesome! + +"I'm sure there are many more weeds in my piece than in anybody +else's!" remarked the tallest of the children, standing up to rest +his rather tired back, and contemplate the walk. "I don't think Aunt +Judy measured it out fair!" + +"Well, but you're the biggest, and ought to do the most," responded +No. 6. + +"A LITTLE the most is all very well," persisted No. 5; "but I've got +TOO MUCH the most rather--and it's very tiresome work." + +"What nonsense!" rejoined No. 6. "I don't believe the weeds are any +thicker in your piece than in mine. Look at my big heap. And I'm +sure I'm quite as tired as you are." + +No. 6 got up as she spoke, to see how matters were going on; not at +all sorry either, to change her position. + +"I'VE got the most," muttered No. 8 to himself, still kneeling over +his work. + +But this was, it is to be feared, a very unjustifiable bit of brag. + +"If you go on talking so much, you will not get any half-farthings at +all!" shouted No. 4, from the distance. + +A pause followed this warning, and the small party ducked down again +to their work. + +They no longer liked it, however; and very soon afterwards the jocose +No. 5 observed, in subdued tones to the others:- + +"I wonder what THE LITTLE VICTIMS would have said to this kind of +thing?" + +"They'd have hated it," answered No. 6, very decidedly. + +The fact was, the little ones were getting really tired, for the fine +May morning had turned into a hot day; and in a few minutes more, a +still further aggravation of feeling took place. + +No. 6 got up again, shook the gravel from her frock, blew it off her +hands, pushed back a heap of heavy curls from her face, set her hat +as far back on her head as she could, and exclaimed:- + +"I wish there were no such things as weeds in the world!" + +Everybody seemed struck with this impressive sentiment, for they all +left off weeding at once, and Aunt Judy came forward to the front of +the alcove. + +"Don't you, Aunt Judy?" added No. 6, feeling sure her sister had +heard. + +"Not I, indeed," answered Aunt Judy, with a comical smile: "I'm too +fond of cream to my tea." + +"Cream to your tea, Aunt Judy? What can that have to do with it?" + +The little ones were amazed. + +"Something," at any rate, responded Aunt Judy; "and if you like to +come in here, and sit down, I will tell you how." + +Away went hoes and weeding-knives at once, and into the alcove they +rushed; and never had garden-seats felt so thoroughly comfortable +before. + +"If one begins to wish," suggested No. 5, stretching his legs out to +their full extent, "one may as well wish oneself a grand person with +a lot of gardeners to clear away the weeds as fast as they come up, +and save one the trouble." + +"Much better wish them away, and save everybody the trouble," +persisted No. 6. + +"No: one wants them sometimes." + +"What an idea! Who ever wants weeds?" + +"You yourself." + +"I? What nonsense!" + +But the persevering No. 5 proceeded to explain. No. 6 had asked him +a few days before to bring her some groundsel for her canary, and he +had been quite disappointed at finding none in the garden. He had +actually to "trail" into the lanes to fetch a bit. + +This was a puzzling statement; so No. 6 contented herself with +grumbling out:- + +"Weeds are welcome to grow in the lanes." + +"Weeds are not always weeds in the lanes," persisted No. 5, with a +grin: "they're sometimes wild-flowers." + +"I don't care what they are," pouted No. 6. "I wish I lived in a +place where there were none." + +"And I wish I was a great man, with lots of gardeners to take them +up, instead of me," maintained No. 5, who was in a mood of lazy +tiresomeness, and kept rocking to and fro on the garden-chair, with +his hands tucked under his thighs. "A weed--a weed," continued he; +"what is a weed, I wonder? Aunt Judy, what is a weed?" + +Aunt Judy had surely been either dreaming or cogitating during the +last few minutes, for she had taken no notice of what was said, but +she roused up now, and answered:- + +"A vegetable out of its place." + +"A VEGETABLE," repeated No. 5, "why we don't eat them, Aunt Judy." + +"You kitchen-garden interpreter, who said we did?" replied she. "All +green herbs are VEGETABLES, let me tell you, whether we eat them or +not." + +"Oh, I see," mused No. 5, quietly enough, but in another instant he +broke out again. + +"I'll tell you what though, some of them are real vegetables, I mean +kitchen-garden vegetables, to other creatures, and that's why they're +wanted. Groundsel's a vegetable, it's the canary's vegetable. I +mean his kitchen-garden vegetable, and if he had a kitchen-garden of +his own, he would grow it as we do peas. So I was right after all, +No. 6!" + +That TWIT at the end spoilt everything, otherwise this was really a +bright idea of No. 5's. + +"Aunt Judy, do begin to talk yourself," entreated No. 6. "I wish No. +5 would be quiet, and not teaze." + +"And he wishes the same of you," replied Aunt Judy, "and I wish the +same of you all. What is to be done? Come, I will tell you a story, +on one positive understanding, namely, that whoever teazes, or even +TWITS, shall be turned out of the company." + +No. 5 sat up in his chair like a dart in an instant, and vowed that +he would be the best of the good, till Aunt Judy had finished her +story. + +"After which--" concluded he, with a wink and another grin. + +"After which, I shall expect you to be better still," was Aunt Judy's +emphatic rejoinder. And peace being now completely established, she +commenced: "There was once upon a time--what do you think?"--here +she paused and looked round in the children's faces. + +"A giant!" exclaimed No. 8. + +"A beautiful princess!" suggested No. 6. + +"SOMETHING," said Aunt Judy, "but I am not going to tell you what at +present. You must find out for yourselves. Meantime I shall call it +SOMETHING, or merely make a grunting--hm--when I allude to it, as +people do to express a blank." + +The little ones shuffled about in delighted impatience at the notion +of the mysterious "something" which they were to find out, and Aunt +Judy proceeded:- + +"This--hm--then, lived in a large meadow field, where it was the +delight of all beholders. The owner of the property was constantly +boasting about it to his friends, for he maintained that it was the +richest, and most beautiful, and most valuable--hm--in all the +country round. Surely no other thing in this world ever found itself +more admired or prized than this SOMETHING did. The commonest +passer-by would notice it, and say all manner of fine things in its +praise, whether in the early spring, the full summer, or the autumn, +for at each of these seasons it put on a fresh charm, and formed a +subject of conversation. 'Only look at that lovely--hm--' was quite +a common exclamation at the sight of it. 'What a colour it has! How +fresh and healthy it looks! How invaluable it must be! Why, it must +be worth at least--' and then the speaker would go calculating away +at the number of pounds, shillings, and pence, the--hm--would fetch, +if put into the money-market, which is, I am sorry to say, a very +usual, although very degrading way of estimating worth. + +"To conclude, the mild-eyed Alderney cow, who pastured in the field +during the autumn months, would chew the cud of approbation over the- +-hm--for hours together, and people said it was no wonder at all that +she gave such delicious milk and cream." + +Here a shout of supposed discovery broke from No. 5. "I've guessed, +I know it!" + +But a "hush" from Aunt Judy stopped him short. + +"No. 5, nobody asked your opinion, keep it to yourself, if you +please." + +No. 5 was silenced, but rubbed his hands nevertheless. + +"Well," continued Aunt Judy, "that 'SOMETHING' ought surely to have +been the most contented thing in the world. Its merits were +acknowledged; its usefulness was undoubted; its beauty was the theme +of constant admiration; what had it left to wish for? Really +nothing; but by an unlucky accident it became dissatisfied with its +situation in a meadow field, and wished to get into a higher position +in life, which, it took for granted, would be more suited to its many +exalted qualities. The 'SOMETHING' of the field wanted to inhabit a +garden. The unlucky accident that gave rise to this foolish idea, +was as follows:- + +"A little boy was running across the beautiful meadow one morning, +with a tin-pot full of fishing bait in his hand, when suddenly he +stumbled and fell down. + +"The bait in the tin-pot was some lob-worms, which the little boy had +collected out of the garden adjoining the field, and they were spilt +and scattered about by his fall. + +"He picked up as many as he could find, however, and ran off again; +but one escaped his notice and was left behind. + +"This gentleman was insensible for a few seconds; but as soon as he +came to himself, and discovered that he was in a strange place, he +began to grumble and find fault. + +"'What an uncouth neighbourhood!' Such were his exclamations. 'What +rough impracticable roads! Was ever lob-worm so unlucky before!' It +was impossible to move an inch without bumping his sides against some +piece of uncultivated ground. + +"Judge for yourselves, my dears," continued Aunt Judy, pathetically, +"what must have been the feelings of the 'SOMETHING' which had lived +proudly and happily in the meadow field for so long, on hearing such +offensive remarks. + +"Its spirit was up in a minute, just as yours would have been, and it +did not hesitate to inform the intruder that travellers who find +fault with a country before they have taken the trouble to inquire +into its merits, are very ignorant and impertinent people. + +"This was blow for blow, as you perceive; and the TEAZE-AND-TWIT +system was now continued with great animation on both sides. + +"The lob-worm inquired, with a conceited wriggle, what could be the +merits of a country, where gentlemanly, gliding, thin-skinned +creatures like himself were unable to move about without personal +annoyance? Whereupon the amiable 'SOMETHING' made no scruple of +telling the lob-worm that his BETTERS found no fault with the place, +and instanced its friend and admirer the Alderney cow. + +"On which the lob-worm affected forgetfulness, and exclaimed, 'Cow? +cow? do I know the creature? Ah! Yes, I recollect now; clumsy legs, +horny feet, and that sort of thing,' proceeding to hint that what was +good enough for a cow, might yet not be refined enough for his own +more delicate habits. + +"'It is my misfortune, perhaps,' concluded he, with mock humility, +'to have been accustomed to higher associations; but really, situated +as I am here, I could almost feel disposed to--why, positively, to +wish myself a cow, with clumsy legs and horny feet. What one may +live to come to, to be sure!' + +"Well," Aunt Judy proceeded, "will you believe it, the lob-worm went +on boasting till the poor deluded 'SOMETHING' believed every word he +said, and at last ventured to ask in what favoured spot he had +acquired his superior tastes and knowledge. + +"And then, of course, the lob-worm had the opportunity of opening out +in a very magnificent bit of brag, and did not fail to do so. + +"Travellers can always boast with impunity to stationary folk, and +the lob-worm had no conscience about speaking the truth. + +So on he chattered, giving the most splendid account of the garden in +which he lived. Gorgeous flowers, velvet lawns, polished gravel- +walks, along which he was wont to take his early morning stroll, +before the ruder creatures of the neighbourhood, such as dogs, cats, +&c. were up and about, were all his discourse; and he spoke of them +as if they were his own, and told of the nursing and tending of every +plant in the lovely spot, as if the gardeners did it all for his +convenience and pleasure. + +"Of the little accidents to which he and his race have from time +immemorial been liable from awkward spades, or those very early +birds, by whom he ran a risk of being snapped up every time he +emerged out of the velvet lawns for the morning strolls, he said just +nothing at all. + +"All was unmixed delight (according to his account) in the garden, +and having actually boasted himself into good humour with himself, +and therefore with everybody else, he concluded by expressing the +condescending wish, that the 'SOMETHING' in the field should get +itself removed to the garden, to enjoy the life of which he spoke. + +"'Undeniably beautiful as you are here,' cried he, 'your beauty will +increase a thousand fold, under the gardener's fostering care. +Appreciated as you are now in your rustic life, the most prominent +place will be assigned to you when you get into more distinguished +society; so that everybody who passes by and sees you, will exclaim +in delight, 'Behold this exquisite--hm--!'" + +"Oh dear, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, "was the 'hum,' as you will call +it, so silly as to believe what he said?" + +"How could the poor simple-minded thing be expected to resist such +elegant compliments, my dear No. 6?" answered Aunt Judy. "But then +came the difficulty. The 'SOMETHING' which lived in the field had no +more legs than the lob-worm himself, and, in fact, was incapable of +locomotion." + +"Of course it was!" ejaculated No. 5. + +"Order!" cried Aunt Judy, and proceeded:- + +"So the--hm--hung down its graceful head in despair, but suddenly a +bright and loving thought struck it. It could not change its place +and rise in life itself, but its children might, and that would be +some consolation. It opened its heart on this point to the lob-worm, +and although the lob-worm had no heart to be touched, he had still a +tongue to talk. + +"If the--hm--would send its children to the garden at the first +opportunity, he would be delighted, absolutely charmed, to introduce +them in the world. He would put them in the way of everything, and +see that they were properly attended to. There was nothing he +couldn't or wouldn't do. + +"This last pretentious brag seemed to have exhausted even the lob- +worm's ingenuity, for, soon after he had uttered it, he shuffled away +out of the meadow in the best fashion that he could, leaving the +'SOMETHING' in the field in a state of wondering regret. But it +recovered its spirits again when the time came for sending its +children to the favoured garden abode. + +"'My dears,' it said, 'you will soon have to begin life for +yourselves, and I hope you will do so with credit to your bringing +up. I hope you are now ambitious enough to despise the dull old plan +of dropping contentedly down, just where you happen to be, or waiting +for some chance traveller (who may never come) to give you a lift +elsewhere. That paradise of happiness, of which the lob-worm told +us, is close at hand. Come! it only wants a little extra exertion on +your part, and you will be carried thither by the wind, as easily as +the wandering Dandelion himself. Courage, my dears! nothing out of +the common is ever gained without an effort. See now! as soon as +ever a strong breeze blows the proper way, I shall shake my heads as +hard as ever I can, that you may be off. All the doors and windows +are open now, you know, and you must throw yourselves out upon the +wind. Only remember one thing, when you are settled down in the +beautiful garden, mind you hold up your heads, and do yourselves +justice, my dears.' + +"The children gave a ready assent, of course, as proud as possible at +the notion; and when the favourable breeze came, and the maternal +heads were shaken, out they all flew, and trusted themselves to its +guidance, and in a few minutes settled down all over the beautiful +garden, some on the beds, some on the lawn, some on the polished +gravel-walks. And all I can say is, happiest those who were least +seen!" + +"Grass weeds! grass weeds!" shouted the incorrigible No. 5, jumping +up from his seat and performing two or three Dervish-like turns. + +"Oh, it's too bad, isn't it, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, "to stop your +story in the middle?" + +Whereupon Aunt Judy answered that he had not stopped the story in the +middle, but at the end, and she was glad he had found out the meaning +of her--HM--! + +But No. 6 would not be satisfied, she liked to hear the complete +finish up of everything. "Did the 'HUM'S' children ever grow up in +the garden, and did they ever see the lob-worm again?" + +"The--hm's--children did SPRING up in the garden," answered Aunt +Judy, "and did their best to exhibit their beauty on the polished +gravel-walks, where they were particularly delighted with their own +appearance one May morning after a shower of rain, which had made +them more prominent than usual. 'Remember our mother's advice,' +cried they to each other. 'This is the happy moment! Let us hold up +our heads, and do ourselves justice, my dears.' + +"Scarcely were the words spoken, when a troop of rude creatures came +scampering into the walk, and a particularly unfeeling monster in +curls, pointed to the beautiful up-standing little--hms--and shouted, +'Aunt Judy, look at these HORRIBLE WEEDS!' + +"I needn't say any more," concluded Aunt Judy. "You know how you've +used them; you know what you've done to them; you know how you've +even wished there were NO SUCH THINGS IN THE WORLD!" + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, how capital!" ejaculated No. 6, with a sigh, the sigh +of exhausted amusement. + +"'The HUM was a weed too, then, was it?" said No. 8. He did not +quite see his way through the tale. + +"It was not a weed in the meadow," answered Aunt Judy, "where it was +useful, and fed the Alderney cow. It was beautiful Grass there, and +was counted as such, because that was its proper place. But when it +put its nose into garden-walks, where it was not wanted, and had no +business, then everybody called the beautiful Grass a weed." + +"So a weed is a vegetable out of its place, you see," subjoined No. +5, who felt the idea to be half his own, "and it won't do to wish +there were none in the world." + +"And a vegetable out of its place being nothing better than a weed, +Mr. No. 5," added Aunt Judy, "it won't do to be too anxious about +what is so often falsely called, bettering your condition in life. +Come, the story is done, and now we'll go home, and all the patient +listeners and weeders may reckon upon getting one or more farthings +apiece from mamma. And as No. 6's wish is not realized, and there +are still weeds {1} in the world, and among them Grass weeds, _I_ +shall hope to have some cream to my tea." + + + +COOK STORIES. + + + +"Down too, down at your own fireside, +With the evil tongue and the evil ear, +For each is at war with mankind." +TENNYSON'S Maud. + +Aunt Judy had gone to the nursery wardrobe to look over some clothes, +and the little ones were having a play to themselves. As she opened +the door, they were just coming to the end of an explosive burst of +laughter, in which all the five appeared to have joined, and which +they had some difficulty in stopping. No. 4, who was a biggish girl, +had giggled till the tears were running over her cheeks; and No. 8, +in sympathy, was leaning back in his tiny chair in a sort of ecstasy +of amusement. + +The five little ones had certainly hit upon some very entertaining +game. + +They were all (boys and girls alike) dressed up as elderly ladies, +with bits of rubbishy finery on their heads and round their +shoulders, to imitate caps and scarfs; the boys' hair being neatly +parted and brushed down the middle; and they were seated in form +round what was called "the Doll's Table," a concern just large enough +to allow of a small crockery tea-service, with cups and saucers and +little plates, being set out upon it. + +"What have you got there?" was all Aunt Judy asked, as she went up to +the table to look at them. + +"Cowslip-tea," was No. 4's answer, laying her hand on the fat pink +tea-pot; and thereupon the laughing explosion went off nearly as +loudly as before, though for no accountable reason that Aunt Judy +could divine. + +"It's SO good, Aunt Judy, do taste it!" exclaimed No. 8, jumping up +in a great fuss, and holding up his little cup, full of a pale-buff +fluid, to Aunt Judy. + +"You'll have everything over," cried No. 4, calling him to order; and +in truth the table was not the steadiest in the world. + +So No. 8 sat down again, calling out, in an almost stuttering hurry, +"You may keep it all, Aunt Judy, I don't want any more." + +But neither did Aunt Judy, after she had given it one taste; so she +put the cup down, thanking No. 8 very much, but pulling such a funny +face, that it set the laugh going once more; in the middle of which +No. 4 dropped an additional lump of sugar into the rejected buff- +coloured mixture, a proceeding which evidently gave No. 8 a new +relish for the beverage. + +Aunt Judy had got beyond the age when cowslip-tea was looked upon as +one of the treats of life; and she had not, on the other hand, lived +long enough to love the taste of it for the memory's sake of the +enjoyment it once afforded. + +Not but what we are obliged to admit that cowslip-tea is one of those +things which, even in the most enthusiastic days of youth, just falls +short of the absolute perfection one expects from it. + +Even under those most favourable circumstances of having had the +delightful gathering of the flowers in the sweet sunny fields--the +picking of them in the happy holiday afternoon--the permission to use +the best doll's tea-service for the feast--the loan of a nice white +table-cloth--and the present of half-a-dozen pewter knives and forks +to fancy-cut the biscuits with--nay, even in spite of the addition of +well-filled doll's sugar-pots and cream-jugs--cowslip-tea always +seems to want either a leetle more or a leetle less sugar--or a +leetle more or a leetle less cream--or to be a leetle more or a +leetle less strong--to turn it into that complete nectar which, of +course, it really IS. + +On the present occasion, however, the children had clearly got hold +of some other source of enjoyment over the annual cowslip-tea feast, +besides the beverage itself; and Aunt Judy, glad to see them so +safely happy, went off to her business at the wardrobe, while the +little ones resumed their game. + +"Very extraordinary, indeed, ma'am!" began one of the fancy old +ladies, in a completely fancy voice, a little affected, or so. "MOST +extraordinary, ma'am, I may say!" + +(Here there was a renewed giggle from No. 4, which she carefully +smothered in her handkerchief.) + +"But still I think I can tell you of something more extraordinary +still!" + +The speaker having at this point refreshed his ideas by a sip of the +pale-coloured tea, and the other ladies having laughed heartily in +anticipation of the fun that was coming, one of them observed:- + +"You don't SAY so, ma'am--" then clicked astonishment with her tongue +against the roof of her mouth several times, and added impressively, +"PRAY let us hear!" + +"I shall be most happy, ma'am," resumed the first speaker, with a +graceful inclination forwards. "Well!--you see--it was a party. I +had invited some of my most distinguished friends--really, ma'am, +FASHIONABLE friends, I may say, to dinner; and, ahem! you see--some +little anxiety always attends such affairs--even--in the best +regulated families!" + +Here the speaker winked considerably at No. 4, and laughed very +loudly himself at his own joke. + +"Dear me, you must excuse me, ma'am," he proceeded. "So, you see, I +felt a little fatigued by my morning's exertions, (to tell you the +truth, there had been no end of bother about everything!) and I +retired quietly up-stairs to take a short nap before the dressing- +bell rang. But I had not been laid down quite half an hour, when +there was a loud knock at the door. Really, ma'am, I felt quite +alarmed, but was just able to ask, 'Who's there?' Before I had time +to get an answer, however, the door was burst open by the housemaid. +Her face was absolute scarlet, and she sobbed out:- + +"'Oh, ma'am, what shall we do?' + +"'Good gracious, Hannah,' cried I, 'what can be the matter? Has the +soot come down the chimney? Speak!' + +"'It's nothing of that sort, ma'am,' answered Hannah, 'it's the +cook!' + +"'The cook!' I shouted. 'I wish you would not be so foolish, Hannah, +but speak out at once. What about Cook?' + +"'Please, m'm, the cook's lost!' says Hannah. 'We can't find her!' + +"'Your wits are lost, Hannah, _I_ think,' cried I, and sent her to +tidy the rooms while I slipt downstairs to look for the cook. + +"Fancy a lost cook, ma'am! Was there ever such a ridiculous idea? +And on the day of a dinner-party too! Did you ever hear of such a +trial to a lady's feelings before?" + +"Never, I am sure," responded the lady opposite. "Did YOU, ma'am?" +turning to her neighbour. + +But the other three ladies all shook their heads, bit their lips, and +declared that they "Never had, they were sure!" + +"I thought not!" ejaculated the narrator. "Well, ma'am, I went into +the kitchens, the larder, the pantries, the cellars, and all sorts of +places, and still no cook! Do you know, she really was nowhere! +Actually, ma'am, the cook was lost!" + +Shouts of laughter burst forth here; but the lady (who was No. 5) put +up his hand, and called out in his own natural tones:- + +"Stop! I haven't got to the end yet!" + +"Order!" proclaimed No. 4 immediately, in a very commanding voice, +and thumping the table with the head of an old wooden doll to enforce +obedience. + +And then the sham lady proceeded in the same mincing voice as +before:- + +"Well!--dear me, I'm quite put out. But however, you see--what was +to be done, that was the thing. It wanted only half an hour to +dinner-time, and there was the meat roasting away by itself, and the +potatoe-pan boiling over. You never heard such a fizzling as it made +in your life--in short, everything was in a mess, and there was no +cook. + +"Well! I basted the meat for a few minutes, took the potatoe-pan off +the fire, and then ran up-stairs to put on my bonnet. Thought I, the +best thing I can do is to send somebody for the policeman, and let +HIM find the cook. But while I was tying the strings of my bonnet, I +fancied I heard a mysterious noise coming out of the bottom drawer of +my wardrobe. Fancy that, ma'am, with my nerves in such a state from +the cook being lost!" + +No. 5 paused, and looked round for sympathy, which was most freely +given by the other ladies, in the shape of sighs and exclamations. + +"The drawer was a very deep drawer, ma'am, so I thought perhaps the +cat had crept in," continued No. 5. "Well, I went to it to see, and +there it was, partly open, with a cotton gown in it that didn't +belong to me. Imagine my feelings at THAT, ma'am! So I pulled at +the handles to get the drawer quite open, but it wouldn't come, it +was as heavy as lead. It was really very alarming--one doesn't like +such odd things happening--but at last I got it open, though I +tumbled backwards as I did so; and what do you think, ma'am--ladies-- +what DO you think was in it?" + +"The cook!" shrieked No. 4, convulsed with laughter; and the whole +party clapped their hands and roared applause. + +"The cook, ma'am, actually the cook!" pursued No. 5, "one of the +fattest, most POONCHY little women you ever saw. And what do you +think was the history of it? I kept my up-stairs Pickwick in the +corner of that bottom drawer. She had seen it there that very +morning, when she was helping to dust the room, and took the +opportunity of a spare half-hour to slip up and rest herself by +reading it in the drawer. Unluckily, however, she had fallen asleep, +and when I got the drawer out, there she lay, and I actually heard +her snore. A shocking thing this education, ma'am, you see, and +teaching people to read. All the cooks in the country are spoilt!" + +Peals of laughter greeted this wonderfully witty concoction of No. +5's, and the lemon-coloured tea and biscuits were partaken of during +the pause which followed. + +Aunt Judy meanwhile, who had been quite unable to resist joining in +the laugh herself, was seated on the floor, behind the open door of +the wardrobe, thinking to herself of certain passages in Wordsworth's +most beautiful ode, in which he has described the play of children, + + +"As if their whole vocation +Were endless imitation." + + +Truly they had got hold here of strange + + +"Fragments from their dream of human life." + + +Where COULD the children have picked up the original of such absurd +nonsense? + +Aunt Judy had no time to make it out, for now the mincing voices +began again, and she sat listening. + +"Have YOU had no curious adventures with your maids, ma'am?" inquires +No. 5 of No. 4. + +No. 5 makes an attempt at a bewitching grin as he speaks, fanning +himself with a fan which he has had in his hand all the time he was +telling his story. + +"Well, ladies," replied No. 4, only just able to compose herself to +talk, "I don't think I HAVE been quite as fortunate as yourselves in +having so many extraordinary things to tell. My servants have been +sadly common-place, and done just as they ought. But still, ONCE, +ladies--once, a curious little incident did occur to me." + +"Oh, ma'am, I entreat you--pray let us hear it!" burst from all the +ladies at once. + +No. 4 had to bite her lip to preserve her gravity, and then she +turned to No. 5 - + +"The fan, if you please, ma'am!" + +The rule was, that the one fan was placed at the disposal of the +story-teller for the time, so No. 5 handed it to No. 4, with a +graceful bow; and No. 4 waffed it to and fro immediately, and began +her account:- + +"People are so unscrupulous you see, ladies, about giving characters. +It's really shocking. For my part, I don't know what the world will +come to at last. We shall all have to be our own servants, I +suppose. People say anything about anything, that's the fact! Only +fancy, ma'am, three different ladies once recommended a cook to me as +the best soup-maker in the country. Now that sounded a very high +recommendation, for, of course, if a cook can make soups, she can do +anything--sweetmeats and those kind of things follow of themselves. +So, ma am, I took her, and had a dinner-party, and ordered two soups, +entirely that I might show off what a good cook I had got. Think +what a compliment to her, and how much obliged she ought to have +been! Well, ma'am, I ordered the two soups, as I said, one white, +and the other brown; and everything appeared to be going on in the +best possible manner, when, as I was sitting in the drawing-room +entertaining the company, I was told I was wanted. + +"When I got out of the room, there was the man I had hired to wait, +and says he:- + +"'If you please, ma'am where are the knives? I can't find any at +all!' + +"'No knives!' says I. 'Dear me, don't come to me about the knives. +Ask the cook, of course.' + +"'Please, ma'am, I have asked her, and she only laughed.' + +"'Then,' said I, 'ask the housemaid. It's impossible for me to come +out and look for the knives.' + +"Well, ladies," continued No. 4, "would you believe it?--could anyone +believe it?--when I sat down to dinner, and began to help the soup, +no sooner had the silver ladle (MY ladle is silver, ladies) been +plunged into the tureen, than a most singular rattling was heard. + +"'William,' cried I, half in a whisper, to the waiter who was holding +the plate, 'what in the world is this? Surely Cook has not left the +bones in?' + +"'Please, ma'am, I don't know,' was all the man could say. + +"Well--there was no remedy now, so I dipped the ladle in again, and +lifted out--oh! ma'am, I know if it was anybody but myself who told +you, you wouldn't believe it--a ladleful of the lost knives! There +they were, my best beautiful ivory handles, all in the white soup! +And while I was discovering them, the gentleman at the other end of +the table had found all the kitchen-knives, with black handles, in +the brown soup! + +"There never was anything so mortifying before. And what do you +think was Cook's excuse, when I reproached her? + +"'Please, ma'am,' said she, 'I read in the Young Woman's Vademecum of +Instructive Information, page 150, that there was nothing in the +world so strengthening and wholesome as dissolved bones, and ivory- +dust; and so, ma'am, I always make a point of throwing in a few +knives into every soup I have the charge of, for the sake of the +handles--ivory-handles for white soups, ma'am, and black-handles for +the browns!'" + +Thunders of applause interrupted Cook's excuse at this point, and No. +7 was so overcome that he pushed his chair back, and performed three +distinct somersets on the floor, to the complete disorganization of +his head-dress, which consisted of a turban, from beneath which hung +a cluster of false curls. + +Turban and wig being replaced, however, and No. 7 reseated and +composed, No. 4 proceeded:- + +"Cook generally takes them out, she informed me, ladies, before the +tureens come to table; 'but,' said she, 'my back was turned for a +minute here, ma'am, and that stupid William carried them off without +asking if they were ready. It's all William's fault, ma'am; and I +don't mean to stay, for I don't like a place where the man who waits +has no tact!' + +"Now, ladies," continued No. 4, "what do you think of that by way of +a speech from a cook? And I assure you that a medical man's wife, to +whom I mentioned in the course of the evening what Cook had said +about dissolved bones, told me that her husband had only laughed, and +said Cook was quite right. So she hired the woman that night +herself, and I have been told in confidence since--you'll not repeat +it, therefore, of course, ladies?" + +"Of course not!" came from all sides. + +"Well, then, I was told that, before the year was out, the family +hadn't a knife that would cut anything, they were so cankered with +rust. So much for education and learning to read, as you justly +observed, ma'am, before!" + +When the emotions produced by this tale had a little subsided, No. 7 +was called upon for his experience of maids. + +No. 7, with the turban on his head, and a fine red necklace round his +throat, said he took very little notice of the maids, but that he +once had had a very tiresome little boy in buttons, who was extremely +fond of sugar, and always carried the sugar-shaker in his pocket, and +ate up the sugar that was in it, and when it was empty, filled it up +with magnesia. + +"But ONCE," he added, "ladies, he actually put some soda in. It was +at a party, and we had our first rhubarb tart for the season, and the +company sprinkled it all over with the soda and began to eat, but +they were too polite to say how nasty it was. But, of course, when I +was helped I called out. And what do you think the boy in buttons +said?" + +Nobody could guess, so No. 7 had to tell them. + +"He said he had put it in on purpose, because he thought it would +correct the acid of the pie. So I said he had best be apprenticed to +a doctor; so he went--I dare say, ma'am, it was the same doctor who +took your cook--but I never heard of him any more, and I've never +dared to have a boy in buttons again." + +"A very wise decision, ma'am, I'm sure!" cried Aunt Judy, who came up +to the wonderful tea-table in the midst of the last mound of +applause. "And now may I ask what game this is that you are playing +at?" + +"Oh, we're telling Cook Stories, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, seizing her +by the arm; "they're such capital fun! I wish you had heard mine; +they were laughing at it when you first came in!" + +"It must have been delicious, to judge by the delight it gave," +replied Aunt Judy, smiling, and kissing No. 6's oddly bedizened up- +turned face. "But what I want to know is, what put Cook Stories, as +you call them, into your head?" + +"Oh! don't you remember--" and here followed a long account from No. +6 of how, about a week before, the little ones had gone somewhere to +spend the day, and how it had turned out a very rainy day, so that +they could not have games out of doors with their young friends, as +had been expected, but were obliged to sit a great part of the time +in the drawing-room, putting Chinese puzzles together into stupid +patterns, and playing at fox-and-goose, while the ladies were talking +"grown-up conversation," as No. 6 worded it, among themselves; and, +of course, being on their own good behaviour, and very quiet, they +could not help hearing what was said. "And, oh dear, Aunt Judy," +continued No. 6, now with both her arms holding Aunt Judy, of whom +she was very fond, (except at lesson times!) round the waist, "it was +so odd! No. 7 and I did nothing at last but listen and watch them; +for little Miss, who sat with us, was shy, and wouldn't talk, and it +was so very funny to see the ladies nodding and making faces at each +other, and whispering, and exclaiming, how shocking! how abominable! +you don't say so! and all that kind of thing!" + +"Well, but what was shocking, and abominable, and all that kind of +thing?" inquired Aunt Judy. + +"Oh, I don't know--things the nurses, and cooks, and boys in buttons +did. Almost all the ladies had some story to tell--all the servants +had done something or other queer--but especially the cooks, Aunt +Judy, there was no end to the cooks. So one day after we came back, +and we didn't know what to play at, I said: 'Do let us play at +telling Cook Stories, like the ladies at -- .' So we've dressed up, +and played at Cook Stories, ever since. Dear Aunt Judy, I wish you +would invent a Cook Story yourself!" was the conclusion of No. 6's +account. + +So then the mystery was out. Aunt Judy's wonderings were cut short. +Out of the real life of civilized intelligent society had come those + + +"Fragments from their dream of human life," + + +which Aunt Judy had called absurd nonsense. And absurd nonsense, +indeed, it was; but Aunt Judy was seized by the idea that some good +might be got out of it. + +So, in answer to No. 6's wish, she said, with a shy smile:- + +"I don't think I could tell Cook Stories half as well as yourself. +But if, by way of a change, you would like a Lady Story instead, +perhaps I might be able to accomplish that." + +"A LADY Story! Oh, but that would be so dull, wouldn't it?" inquired +No. 6. "You can't make anything funny out of them, surely! Surely +they never do half such odd things as cooks, and boys in buttons!" + +"The ladies themselves think not, of course," was Aunt Judy's reply. + +"Well, but what do you think, Aunt Judy?" + +"Oh, I don't think it matters what I think. The question is, what do +cooks and boys in buttons think?" + +"But, Aunt Judy, ladies are never tiresome, and idle, and +impertinent, like cooks and boys in buttons. Oh! if you had but +heard the REAL Cook Stories those ladies told! I say, let me tell +you one or two--I do think I can remember them, if I try." + +"Then don't try on any account, dear No. 6," exclaimed Aunt Judy. "I +like make-believe Cook Stories much better than real ones." + +"So do I!" cried No. 7, "they're so much the more entertaining." + +"And not a bit less useful," subjoined Aunt Judy, with a sly smile. + +"Well, I didn't see much good in the real ones," pursued No. 7, in a +sort of muse. + +"Let us tell you another make-believe one, then," cried No. 6, who +saw that Aunt Judy was moving off, and wanted to detain her. + +"Then it's MY turn!" shouted No. 8, jumping up, and stretching out +his arm and hand like a young orator flushed to his work. And +actually, before the rest of the little ones could put him down or +stop him, No. 8 contrived to tumble out the Cook Story idea, which +had probably been brewing in his head all the time of Aunt Judy's +talk. + +It was very brief, and this was it, delivered in much haste, and with +all the earnestness of a maiden speech. + +"_I_ had a button boy too, and he was a--what d'ye call it--oh, a +RASCAL, that was it;--he was a rascal, and liked the currants in +mince-pies, so he took them all out, and ate them up, and put in +glass beads instead. So when the people began to ear, their teeth +crunched against the beads! Ah! bah! how nasty it was!" + +No. 8 accompanied this remark with a corresponding grimace of +disgust, and then observed in conclusion:- + +"Perhaps he found it in a book, but I don't know where," after which +he lowered his outstretched arm, smiled, and sat down. + +The company clapped applause, and No. 4 especially must have been +very fond of laughing, for the glass-bead anecdote set her off again +as heartily as ever, and the rest followed in her wake, and while so +doing, never noticed that Aunt Judy had slipped away. + +They soon discovered it, however, when their mirth began to subside; +but before they had time to wonder much, there appeared from behind +the door of the wardrobe a figure, which in their secret souls they +knew to be Aunt Judy herself, although it looked a great deal +stouter, and had a thick-filled cap on its head, a white linen apron +over its gown, and a pair of spectacles on its nose. At sight of it +they showed signs of clapping again, but stopped short when it spoke +to them as a stranger, and willingly received it as such. + +Ah! it is one of the sweet features of childhood that it yields +itself up so readily to any little surprise or delusion that is +prepared for its amusement. No nasty pride, no disinclination to be +carried away, no affected indifference, interfere with young +children's enjoyment of what is offered them. They will even help +themselves into the pleasant visions by an effort of will; and +perhaps, now and then, end by partly believing what they at first +received voluntarily as an agreeable make-believe. + +If, therefore, after the cook figure of Aunt Judy had seated itself +by the doll's table, and the little ones had looked and grinned at it +for some time, hazy sensations began to steal over one or two minds, +that this WAS somehow really a cook, it was all in the natural course +of things, and nobody resisted the feeling. + +Aunt Judy's altered voice, and odd, assumed manner, contributed, no +doubt, a good deal to the impression. + +"Dear, dear! what pretty little darlings you all are!" she began, +looking at them one after another. "As sweet as sugar-plums, when +you have your own way, and are pleased. Eh, dears? But you don't +think you can take old Cooky in, do you? No, no, I know what ladies +and gentlemen, and ladies' and gentlemen's YOUNG ladies and YOUNG +gentlemen are, pretty well, dears, I can tell you! Don't I know all +about the shiny hair and smiling faces of the little pets in the +parlour, and how they leave parlour-manners behind them sometimes, +when they run to the kitchen to Cook, and order her here and there, +and want half-a-dozen things at once, and must and will have what +they want, and are for popping their fingers into every pie! + +"Well, well," she proceeded, "the parlour's the parlour, and the +kitchen's the kitchen, and I'm only a cook. But then I conduct +myself AS Cook, even when I'm in the scullery, and I only wish +ladies, and ladies' YOUNG ladies too, would conduct themselves as +ladies, even when they come into the kitchen; that's what I call +being honourable and upright. Well, dears, I'll tell you how I came +to know all about it. You see, I lived once in a family where there +were no less than eight of those precious little pets, and a precious +time I had of it with them. But, to be sure, now it's past and gone- +-I can make plenty of excuses for them, poor things! They were so +coaxed and flattered, and made so much of, what could be expected +from them but tiresome, wilful ways, without any sense? + +"'If your mamma would but put YOU into the scullery, young miss, to +learn to wash plates and scour the pans out, she'd make a woman of +you,' used I to think to myself when a silly child, who thought +itself very clever to hinder other people's work, would come hanging +about in the kitchen, doing nothing but teaze and find fault, for +that's what a girl can always do. + +"It was very aggravating, you may be sure, dears, (you see I can talk +to you quite reasonably, because you're so nicely behaved;)--it was +very aggravating, of course; but I used to make allowances for them. +Says I to myself, 'Cook, you've had the blessing of being brought up +to hard work ever since you were a babby. You've had to earn your +daily bread. Nobody knows how that brings people to their senses +till they've tried; so don't you go and be cocky, because ladies and +gentlemen, and ladies' and gentlemen's YOUNG ladies and YOUNG +gentlemen, are not quite so sensible as you are. Who knows but what, +if you'd been born to do nothing, you might have been no wiser than +them! It's lucky for you you're only a cook; but don't you go and be +cocky, that's all! Make allowances; it's the secret of life!' + +"So you see, dears, I DID make allowances; and after the eight little +pets was safe in bed till next morning, I used to feel quite +composed, and pitiful-like towards them, poor little dears! But +certainly, when morning came, and the oldest young master was home +for the holidays, it was a trying time for me, and I couldn't think +of the allowances any longer. Either he wouldn't get up and come +down till everyone else had had their breakfast, and so he wanted +fresh water boiled, and fresh tea made, and another muffin toasted, +and more bacon fried; or else he was up so outrageous early, that he +was scolding because there was no hot water before the fire was lit-- +bless you, he hadn't a bit of sense in his head, poor boy, not a bit! +And how should he? Why, he went to school as soon as he was out of +petticoats, and was set to all that Latin and Greek stuff that never +puts anything useful into folks' heads, but so much more chatter and +talk; so he came back as silly as he went, poor thing! Dear me, on a +wet day, after lesson-time, those boys were like so many crazy +creatures. 'Cook, I must make a pie,' says one. 'There's a pie in +the oven already, Master James,' says I. 'I don't care about the pie +in the oven,' says he, 'I want a pie of my own. Bring me the flour, +and the water, and the butter, and all the things--and, above all, +the rolling-pin--and clear the decks, will you, I say, for my pie. +Here goes!' And here used to go, my dears, for Master James had no +sense, as I told you; and so he'd shove all my pots and dishes away, +one on the top of the other; and let me be as busy as I would, and +dinner ever so near ready, the dresser must be cleared, and +everything must give way to HIS pie! His pie, indeed--I wish I had +had the management of his pie just then! I'd have taught him what it +was to come shaking the rolling-pin at the head of a respectable +cook, who wanted to get her business done properly, as in duty bound! + +"But he wasn't the only one. There was little Whipper-snapper, his +younger brother, squeaking out in another corner, 'I shan't make a +pie, James, I shall make toffey; it's far better fun. You'd better +come and help me. Where's the treacle pot, Cook? Cook! I say, +Cook! where's the treacle-pot? And look at this stupid kettle and +pan. What's in the pan, I wonder? Oh, kidney-beans! Who cares for +kidney-beans? How can I make toffey, when all these things are on +the fire? Stay, I'll hand them all off!' + +"And, sure enough, if I hadn't rushed from Master James, who was +drinking away at my custard out of the bowl, to seize on Whipper- +snapper, who had got his hand on the vegetable-pan already, he would +have pulled it and the kettle, and the whole concern, off the fire, +and perhaps scalded himself to death. + +"Then, of course, there comes a scuffle, and Master Whipper-snapper +begins to roar, and out comes Missus, who, poor thing, had no more +sense in her head than her sons, though she'd never been to school to +lose it over Latin and Greek; and, says she, with all her ribbons +streaming, and her petticoats swelled out like a window-curtain in a +draught--says she:- + +"'Cook! I desire that you will not touch my children!' + +"'As you please, ma'am,' says I, 'if you'll be so good as to stop the +young gentlemen from touching my pans, and--' I was going to say +'custard,' but Master James shouts out quite quick:- + +"'Why, I only wanted to make a pie, mamma.' + +"'And I only wanted to make some toffey!' cries Whipper-snapper; and +then mamma answers, like a duchess at court:- + +"'There can't possibly be any objection, my dears; and I wish, Cook, +you would he a little more good-natured to the children;--your temper +is sadly against you!' + +"And out she sails, ribbons and window-curtains and all; and, says I +to myself, as I cooled down, (for the young gentlemen luckily went +away with their dear mama,)--says I to myself, 'It's a very fine +thing, no doubt, to go about in ribbons, and petticoats, and grand +clothes; but, if one must needs carry such a poor, silly head inside +them, as Missus does, I'd rather stop as I am, and be a cook with +some sense about me.' + +"I don't say, my dears," continued the supposed cook, "that I spoke +very politely just then; but who could feel polite, when their dinner +had been put back at least half-an-hour over such nonsense as that? +Missus used to say the 'dear boys' came to the kitchen on a wet day, +because they'd got NOTHING ELSE TO DO! Nothing else to do! and had +learnt Latin and Greek, and all sorts of schooling besides! So much +for education, thought I. Why, it would spoil the best lads that +ever were born into the world. For, of course, you know if these +young gentlemen had been put to decent trades, they'd have found +something else to do with their fingers besides mischief and waste. +And, dear me, I talk about not having been polite to Missus just +then, but now you tell me, dears, what Missus, with all her +education, would have said if she'd been in my place, when one young +gentleman was drinking her custard, and another young gentleman was +pulling her pans on the floor! Do you think she'd have been a bit +more polite than I was? Wouldn't she have called me all the stupid +creatures that ever were born, and told the story over and over to +all her friends and acquaintance to make them stare, and say there +were surely no such simpletons in the world as ladies and gentlemen, +and ladies' and gentlemen's young ladies and young gentlemen? + +"However, I did not go as far as that, because, you see, I had some +sense about me, and could make allowances for all the nonsense the +poor things are brought up to." + +There was no resisting the twinkle in Aunt Judy's eye when she came +to this point, though it shone through an old pair of Nurse's +spectacles; and the little ones clapped their hands, and declared it +was every bit as good as a Cook story, ONLY A GREAT DEAL BETTER! +That twinkle had quite brought Aunt Judy back to them again, in spite +of her cook's attire, and No. 6 cried out:- + +"Oh! don't stop, Aunt Judy! Do go on, Cooky dear! do tell some more! +Did you always live in that place, please?" + +"There now!" exclaimed Aunt Judy, throwing herself back in the chair, +"isn't that a regular young lady's question, out and out? Who but a +young lady, with no more sense in her head than a pin, would have +thought of asking such a thing? Why, miss, is there a joint in the +world that can bear basting for ever? No, no! a time comes when it +must be taken down, if any good's to be left in it; and so at the end +of three years my basting-time was over, and the time for taking down +was come. + +"'Cook,' says I to myself, 'you must give in. If you go on with +those cherubs (that was their company name, you know) much longer, +there won't be a bit of you left!' And, sure enough, that very +morning, dears, they'd come down upon me with a fresh grievance, and +I couldn't stand it, I really couldn't! The sweeps had been by four +o'clock to the kitchen chimney, and I'd been up and toiling every +minute since, and hadn't had time to eat my breakfast, when in they +burst--the young ladies, not the sweeps, dears, I mean:- and there +they broke out at once--I hadn't fed their sea-gulls before +breakfast--(a couple of dull-looking grey birds, with big mouths, +that had come in a hamper over night as a present to the cherubs;) +and it seems I ought to have been up before daylight almost, to look +for slugs for them in the garden till they'd got used to the place! + +"Oh, these ladies and gentlemen! they'd need know something of some +sort to make amends, for there are many things they never know all +their life long! + +"'Young ladies,' says I, 'I didn't come here to get meals ready for +sea-gulls, but Christian ladies and gentlemen. If the sea-gulls want +a cook, your mamma must hire them one on purpose. I've plenty to do +for her and the family, without looking after such nonsense as that!' + +"'That's what you always say,' whimpers the youngest Miss; 'and you +know they don't want any cooking, but only raw slugs! And you know +you might easily look for them, because you've got almost nothing to +do, because it's such an easy place, mamma always says. But you're +always cross, mamma says that too, and everybody knows you are, +because she tells everybody!' + +"When little Miss had got that out, she thought she'd finished me up; +and so she had, for when I heard that Missus was so ungenteel as to +go talking of what I did, to all her acquaintance, and had nothing +better to talk about, I made up my mind that I'd give notice that +very day. + +"'Very well, miss,' says I, 'your mamma shall soon have something +fresh to talk about, and I hope she'll find it a pleasant change.' + +"There was some of them knew what I meant at once, for after they'd +scampered off I heard shouts up and down the stairs from one to the +other, 'Cook's going!' 'We shall have a new cook soon!' 'What a +lark we'll have with the toffey and the pies! We'll make her do just +as we choose!' + +"'There, now,' thought I to myself, 'there'll be somebody else put +down to baste before long. Well, I'm glad my time's over.' And +thereupon I fell to wishing I was back again in father and mother's +ricketty old cottage, that I'd once been so proud to leave, to go and +live with gentlefolks. But, you see, it was no use wishing, for I'd +my bread to earn, and must turn out somewhere, let it be as +disagreeable as it would. Father and mother were dead, and there was +no ricketty cottage for me to go back to, so I wiped my eyes, and +told myself to make the best of what had to be. + +"Well, dears," pursued Cooky, after a short pause, during which the +little ones looked far more inclined to cry than laugh, "Missus was +quite taken aback when she heard I wouldn't stay any longer. + +"'Cook,' she said, 'I'm perfectly astonished at your want of sense in +not recognizing the value of such a situation as mine! and as to your +complaints about the children, anything more ridiculously +unreasonable I never heard! Such superior, well-taught young people, +you are not very likely to meet with again in a hurry!' + +"'Perhaps not, ma'am,' says I, 'in French, and crochet, and the +piano, and Latin, and things I don't understand, being only a cook. +But I know what behaviour is, and that's what I'm sure the young +ladies and gentlemen have never been taught; or if they have, they're +so slow at taking it in, that I think I shall do better with a family +where the behaviour-lessons come first!' + +"Missus was very angry, and so was I; but at last she said:- + +"'Cook, I shall not argue with you any longer; you know no better, +and I suppose I must make allowances for you.' + +"'I'm much obliged to you, ma'am, I'm sure,' was my answer; 'it's +what I've always done by you ever since I came to the house, and I'll +do it still with pleasure, and think no more of what's been said.' + +"I spoke from my heart, I can tell you, dears, for I felt very sorry +for Missus, and thought she was but a lady after all, and perhaps I'd +hardly made allowances enough. I'd lost my temper, too, as I knew +after she went away. But, you see, while she was there, it was so +mortifying to be spoken to as if all the sense was on her side, when +I knew it was all on mine, wherever the French and crochet may have +been. Well, but the day before I left, I broke down with another of +them, as it's fair that you should know. + +"I'd felt very lonely that day, busy as I was, and in the afternoon I +took myself into the scullery to give the pans a sort of good-bye +cleaning, and be out of everybody's way. But there, in the midst of +it, comes the eldest young gentleman flinging into the kitchen, +shouting, 'Cook! Cook! Where's Cook?' as usual. I thought he was +after some of his old tricks, and I HAD been fretting over those +pans, thinking what a sad job it was to have no home to go to in the +world, so I gave him a very short answer. + +"'Master James,' says I, 'I've done with nonsense now, I can't attend +to you. You must wait till the next cook comes.' + +"But Master James came straight away to the scullery door, and says +he, 'Cook, I'm not coming to teaze. I've brought you a needle-book. +There, Cook! It's full of needles. I put them all in myself. Keep +it, please.' + +"Dear, dear, I can't forget it yet," pursued Cook, "how Master James +stood on the little stone step of the scullery, with his arm +stretched out, and the needle-book that he'd bought for me in his +hand. I don't know how I thanked him, I'm sure; but I had to go back +to the sink and wash the dirt off my hands before I could touch the +pretty little thing, and then I told him I would keep it as long as +ever I lived. + +"He laughed, and says he, 'Now shake hands, Cooky,' and so we shook +hands; and then off he ran, and I went back to my pans and fairly +cried. + +"'Why, Cook,' says I to myself, 'that lad's got as good a heart as +your own, after all. And as to sense and behaviour, they haven't +been forced upon him yet, as they have upon you. Latin's Latin, and +conduct's conduct, and one doesn't teach the other; and it's too bad +to expect more of people than what they've had opportunity for.' + +Well, dears, that was the rule I always went by, and I've been in +many situations since--with single ladies, and single gentlemen, and +large families, and all; and there was something to put up with in +all of them; and they always told me there was a good deal to put up +with in me, and perhaps there was. However, it doesn't matter, so +long as Missus and servant go by one rule--TO MAKE ALLOWANCES, AND +NOT EXPECT MORE FROM PEOPLE THAN WHAT THEY'VE HAD OPPORTUNITY FOR; +and, above all, never to be cocky when all the advantage is on their +own side. It's a good rule, dears, and will stop many a foolish word +and idle tale, if you'll go by it." + +Aunt Judy had finished at last, and she took off the old spectacles +and laid them on the doll's table, and paused. + +"It IS a good rule," observed No. 4, "and I shall go by it, and not +tell real Cook Stories when I grow up, I hope." + +"I love old Cooky," cried No. 6, getting up and hugging her round the +neck; "but is it wrong, Aunt Judy, to tell funny make-believe Cook +Stories, like ours?" + +"Not at all, No. 6," replied Aunt Judy. "My private belief is, that +if you tell funny make-believe Cook Stories while you're little, you +will be ashamed of telling stupid real ones when you're grown up." + + + +RABBITS' TAILS. + + + +"Death and its two-fold aspect! wintry--one, +Cold, sullen, blank, from hope and joy shut out; +The other, which the ray divine hath touch'd, +Replete with vivid promise, bright as spring." +WORDSWORTH. + +"Well then; but you must remember that I have been ill, and cannot be +expected to invent anything very entertaining." + +"Oh, we do remember, indeed, Aunt Judy; we have been so miserable," +was the answer; and the speaker added, shoving her little chair close +up to her sister's:- + +"I said if you were not to get better, I shouldn't want to get better +either." + +"Hush, hush, No. 6!" exclaimed Aunt Judy, quite startled by the +expression; "it was not right to say or think that." + +"I couldn't help it," persisted No. 6. "We couldn't do without you, +I'm sure." + +"We can do without anything which God chooses to take away," was Aunt +Judy's very serious answer. + +"But I didn't want to do without," murmured No. 6, with her eyes +fixed on the floor. + +"Dear No. 6, I know," replied Aunt Judy, kindly; "but that is just +what you must try not to feel." + +"I can't help feeling it," reiterated No. 6, still looking down. + +"You have not tried, or thought about it yet," suggested her sister; +"but do think. Think what poor ignorant infants we all are in the +hands of God, not knowing what is either good or bad for us; and then +you will see how glad and thankful you ought to be, to be chosen for +by somebody wiser than yourself. We must always be contented with +God's choice about whatever happens." + +No. 6 still looked down, as if she were studying the pattern of the +rug, but she saw nothing of it, for her eyes were swimming over with +the tears that had filled into them, and at last she said:- + +"I could, perhaps, about some things, but ONLY NOT THAT about you. +Aunt Judy, you know what I mean." + +Aunt Judy leant back in her chair. "ONLY NOT THAT." It was, as she +knew, the cry of the universal world, although it broke now from the +lips of a child. And it was painful, though touching, to feel +herself the treasure that could not be parted with. + +So there was a silence of some minutes, during which the hand of the +little sister lay in that of the elder one. + +But the latter soon roused up and spoke. + +"I'll tell you what, No. 6, there's nothing so foolish as talking of +how we shall feel, and what we shall do, if so-and-so happens. +Perhaps it never may happen, or, if it does, perhaps we may be helped +to bear it quite differently from what we have expected. So we won't +say anything more about it now." + +"I'm so glad!" exclaimed No. 6, completely reassured and made +comfortable by the cheerful tone of her sister's remark, though she +had but a very imperfect idea of the meaning of it, as she forthwith +proved by rambling off into a sort of self-defence and self- +justification. + +"And I'm not really a baby now, you know, Aunt Judy! And I do know a +great many things that are good and bad for us. I know that YOU are +good for us, even when you scold over sums." + +"That is a grand admission, I must own," replied Aunt Judy, smiling; +"I shall remind you of it some day." + +"Well, you may," cried No. 6, earnestly; and added, "you see I'm not +half as silly as you thought." + +Aunt Judy looked at her, wondering how she should get the child to +understand what was passing through her own mind; wondering, too +whether it was right to make the attempt; and she decided that on the +whole it was; so she answered:- + +"Ay, we grow wise enough among ourselves as we grow older, and get to +know a few more things. You are certainly a little wiser than a baby +in long petticoats, and I am a little wiser than you, and mamma wiser +than us both. But towards God we remain ignorant infants all our +lives. That was what I meant." + +"But surely, Aunt Judy," interrupted No. 6, "mamma and you know--" +There she stopped. + +"Nothing about God's dealings," pursued Aunt Judy, "but that they are +sure to be good for us, even when we like them least, and cannot +understand them at all. We know so little what we ought really to +like and dislike, dear No. 6, that we often fret and cry as foolishly +as the two children did, who, while they were in mourning for their +mother, broke their hearts over the loss of a set of rabbits' tails." + +No. 6 sprang up at the idea. She had never heard of those children +before. Who were they? Had Aunt Judy read of them in a book, or +were they real children? How could they have broken their hearts +about rabbits' tails? It must be a very curious story, and No. 6 +begged to hear it. + +Aunt Judy had, however, a little hesitation about the matter. There +was something sad about the story; and there was no exact teaching to +be got out of it, though certainly if it helped to shake No. 6's +faith in her own wisdom, a good effect would be produced by listening +to it. Also it was not a bad thing now and then to hear of other +people having to bear trials which have not fallen to our own lot. +It must surely have a tendency to soften the heart, and make us feel +more dependent upon the God who gives and takes away. On the whole, +therefore, she would tell the story, so she made No. 6 sit quietly +down again, and began as follows:- + +"There were once upon a time two little motherless girls." + +No. 6's excitement of expectation was hardly over, so she tightened +her hand over Aunt Judy's, and ejaculated:- + +"Poor little things!" + +"You may well say so," continued Aunt Judy. "It was just what +everybody said who saw them at the time. When they went about with +their widowed father in the country village where 'they lived, even +the poor women who stood at their cottage door-steads, would look +after them when they had passed, and say with a sigh:- + +"'Poor little things!' + +"When they went up to London in the winter to stay with their +grandmamma, and walked about in the Square in their little black +frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets, the ladies who saw them,--even +comparative strangers,--would turn round arid say:- + +"'Poor little things!' + +"If visitors came to call at the house, and the children were sent +for into the room, there was sure to be a whispered exclamation +directly among the grown-up people of, 'Poor little things!' But oh, +No. 6! the children themselves did not think about it at all. What +did they know,--poor little things,--of the real misfortune which had +befallen them! They were sorry, of course, at first, when they did +not see their mamma as usual, and when she did not come back to them +as soon as they expected. But some separation had taken place during +her illness; and sometimes before, she had been poorly and got well +again; and sometimes she had gone out visiting, and they had had to +do without her till she returned; and so, although the days and weeks +of her absence went on to months, still it was only the same thing +they had felt before, continued rather longer; and meantime the +little events of each day rose up to distract their attention. They +got up, and dined, and went to bed as usual. They were sometimes +merry, sometimes naughty, as usual. People made them nice presents, +or sent for them to pleasant treats, as usual--perhaps more than +usual; their father did all he could to supply the place of the lost +one, but never could name her name; and soon they forgot that they +had ever had a mamma at all. Soon? Ay, long before friends and +strangers lead left off saying 'Poor little things' at sight of them, +and long before the black frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets were laid +aside, which, indeed, they wore double the usual length of time." + +"And how old were they?" asked No. 6, in a whisper. + +"Four and five," replied Aunt Judy; "old enough to know what they +liked and disliked from hour to hour. Old enough to miss what had +pleased them, till something else pleased them as well. But not old +enough to look forward and know how much a mother is wanted in life; +and, therefore, what a terrible loss the loss of a mother is." + +"It's a very sad story I'm afraid," remarked No. 6. + +"Not altogether," said Aunt Judy, smiling, "as you shall hear. One +day the two little motherless girls went hand in hand across one of +the courts of the great Charity Institution in London, where their +grandmamma lived, into the old archway entrance, and there they stood +still, looking round them, as if waiting for something. The old +archway entrance opened into a square, and underneath its shelter +there was a bench on one side, and on the other the lodge of the +porter, whose business it was to shut up the great gates at night. + +The porter had often before looked at the motherless children as they +passed into the shadow of his archway, and said to himself, 'Poor +little things;' for just so, during many years of his life, he had +watched their young mother pass through, and had exchanged words of +friendly greeting with her. + +"And even now, although it was at least a year and a half since her +death, when he saw the waiting children seat themselves on the bench +opposite his door, the old thought stole over his mind. How sad that +she should have been taken away so early from those little ones! How +sad for them to be left! No one--nothing--in this world, could +supply the loss of her protecting care.--POOR LITTLE THINGS!--and not +the less so because they were altogether unconscious of their +misfortune; and here, with the mourning casting a gloom over their +fair young faces, were looking with the utmost eagerness and delight +towards the doorway,--now and then slipping down from their seats to +take a peep into the Square, and see if what they expected was +coming,--now and then giggling to each other about the grave face of +the old man on the other side of the way. + +"At last, one, who had been peeping a bit as before, exclaimed, with +a smothered shout, 'Here he is!' and then the other joined her, and +the two rushed out together into the Square and stood on the +pavement, stopping the way in front of a lad, who held over his arm a +basket containing hares' and rabbits' skins, in which he carried on a +small trade. + +"They looked up with their smiling faces into his, and he grinned at +them in return, and then they said, 'Have you got any for us to-day?' +on which he set down his basket before them, and told them they might +have one or two if they pleased, and down they knelt upon the +pavement, examining the contents of his basket, and talked in almost +breathless whispers to each other of the respective merits, the +softness, colour, and prettiness, of--what do you think?" + +At the first moment No. 6, being engrossed by the story, could not +guess at all; but in another instant she recollected, and exclaimed:- + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, do you mean those were the rabbits' tails you told +about?" + +"They were indeed, No. 6," replied Aunt Judy; "their grandmamma's +cook had given them one or two sometime before, and there being but +few entertaining games which two children can play at alone, and +these poor little things being a good deal left to themselves, they +invented a play of their own out of the rabbits' tails. I think the +pleasant feel of the fur, which was so nice to cuddle and kiss, +helped them to this odd liking; but whatever may have been the cause, +certain it is they did get quite fond of them--pretended that they +could feel, and were real living things, and talked of them, and to +them, as if they were a party of children. + +"They called them 'Tods' and 'Toddies,' but they had all sorts of +names besides, to distinguish one from the other. There was, +'Whity,' and 'Browny,' and 'Softy,' and 'Snuggy,' and 'Stripy,' and +many others. They knew almost every hair of each of them, and I +believe could have told which was which, in the dark, merely by their +feel. + +"This sounds ridiculous enough, does it not, dear No. 6?" said Aunt +Judy, interrupting herself. + +No. 6 smiled, but she was too much interested to wish to talk; so the +story proceeded. + +"Now you must know that I have looked rather curiously at hares' and +rabbits' tails myself since I first heard the story; and there +actually is more variety in them than you would suppose. Some are +nice little fat things--almost round, with the hair close and fine; +others longer and more skinny, and with poor hair, although what +there is may be of a handsome colour. And as to colour, even in +rabbits' tails, which are white underneath, there are all shades from +grey to dark brown one the upper side; and the patterns and markings +differ, as you know they do on the fur of a cat. In short, there +really is a choice even in hares' and rabbits' tails, and the more +you look at them, the more delicate distinctions you will see. + +"Well, the poor little girls knew all about this, and a great deal +more, I dare say, than I have noticed, for they had played at fancy- +life with them, till the Tods had become far more to them than any +toys they possessed; actually, in fact, things to love; and I dare +say if we could have watched them at night putting their Tods to bed, +we should have seen every one of them kissed. + +"It was a capital thing, as you may suppose, for keeping the children +quiet as well as happy in the nursery, at the top of the London +house, in one particular corner of which the basket of Tods was kept. +But when grandmamma's bell rang, which it did day by day as a +summons, after the parlour breakfast was over, the Tods were put +away; and it was dolls, or reasonable toys of some description, which +the motherless little girls took down with them to the drawing-room; +and I doubt whether either grandmamma or aunt knew of the Tod family +in the basket up-stairs. + +"After the affair had gone on for a little time, the children were +accidentally in the kitchen when the rabbit-skin dealer called, and +the cook begged him to give them a tail or two; and thenceforth, of +course, they looked upon him as one of their greatest friends; and if +they wanted fresh Tods, they would lie in wait for him in the archway +entrance, for fear he should go by without coming in to call at their +grandmamma's house. And on the day I have described, two new +brothers, 'Furry' and 'Buffy,' were introduced to the Tod +establishment, and the talking and delight that ensued, lasted for +the whole afternoon. + +"Nobody knew, I believe; but certainly if anybody had known how the +hearts of those children were getting involved over the dead rabbits' +tails, it would have been only right to have tried to lead their +affection into some better direction. What a waste of good emotions +it was, when they cuddled up their Tods in an evening; invented +histories of what they had said and done during the day, and put them +by at last with caresses something very nearly akin to human love!" + +"Oh, dear Aunt Judy," exclaimed No. 6, "if their poor mamma had but +been there!" + +"All would have been right then, would it not, No. 6?" + +No. 6 said "Yes" from the very depths of her heart. + +"AS IT SEEMS TO US, you should say," continued Aunt Judy; "but that +is all. It could not have seemed so to the God who took their mother +away." + +"Aunt Judy--" + +"No. 6, I am telling you a very serious truth. Had it indeed been +right for the children that their mother should have lived, she would +NOT have been taken away. For some reason or other it was necessary +that they should be without the comfort, and help, and protection, of +her presence in this world. We cannot understand it, but a time may +come when we may see it all as clearly as we now see the folly of +those children who so doted upon senseless rabbits' tails." + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, but it was still very, very sad." + +"Yes, about that there cannot be a doubt, and I am as much inclined +as anybody else to say, 'Poor little things' every time I mention +them. But now let me go on with the story, for it has a sort of end +as well as beginning. The Tod affair came at last to their +grandmamma's ears." + +"I am so glad," cried No. 6. + +"You will not say so when I tell you how it happened," was Aunt +Judy's rejoinder. "The fact was, that one unfortunate day one of the +Tods disappeared. Whether it lead been left out of the basket when +grandmamma's bell rang, and so got swept away by the nurse and burnt, +I cannot say; but, at any rate, when the children went to their play +one morning, 'Softy,' their dear little 'Softy,' was gone. He was +the fattest-furred and finest-haired of all the Tod family, and the +one about whom they invented the prettiest stories; he was, in fact, +the model, the out-of-the-way-amiable pattern Tod. They could not +believe at first that he really was gone. They hunted for him in +every hole and corner of their nursery and bed-room; they looked for +him all along the passages; they tossed all the other Tods out of the +basket to find him, as if they really were--even in their eyes-- +nothing but rabbits' tails; they asked all the servants about him, +till everybody's patience was exhausted, and they got angry; and then +at last the children's hope and temper were both exhausted too, and +they broke out into passionate crying. + +"This was vexatious to the nurse, of course; but her method of +consolation was not very judicious. + +"'Why, bless my heart,' was her beginning, 'what nonsense! Didn't +the children know as well as she did, that hares' and rabbits' tails +were not alive, and couldn't feel? and what could it signify of one +of them was thrown away and lost? They'd a basket-full left besides, +and it was plenty of such rubbish as that! They were all very well +to play with up in the nursery, but they were worth nothing when all +was said and done!' + +This was completely in vain, of course. The children sat on the +nursery floor and cried on just the same; and by-and-by went away to +the corner of the room where the Tod-basket was kept, and bewailed +the loss of poor 'Softy' to his brothers and sisters inside. + +"As the time approached, however, for grandmamma's summoning bell, +the nurse began to wonder what she could do to stop this fretting, +and cool the red eyes; so she tried the coaxing plan, by way of a +change. + +"'If she was such nice little girls with beautiful dolls and toys, +she never would fret so about a rabbit's tail, to be sure! And, +besides, the boy was sure to be round again very soon with the hare +and rabbit skins; and if they would only be good, and dry their eyes, +she would get him to give them as many more as they pleased. Quite +fresh new ones. She dared say they would be as pretty again as the +one that was lost.' + +"If nurse had wished to hit upon an injudicious remark, she could not +have succeeded better. What did they care for 'fresh new' Tods +instead of their dear 'Softy?' And the mere suggestion that any +others could be prettier, turned their regretful love into a sort of +passionate indignation; yet the nurse had meant well, and was +astonished when the conclusion of what was intended to be a kind +harangue, was followed by a louder burst of crying than ever. + +"It must be owned that the little girls had by this time got out of +grief into naughtiness; and there was now quite as much petted temper +as sorrow in their tears; and lo! while they were in the midst of +this fretful condition, grandmamma's summoning bell was heard, and +they were obliged to go down to her. + +"You can just imagine their appearance when they entered the drawing- +room with their eyes red and swelled, their cheeks flushed, and +anything but a pleasant expression over their faces. Of course, +grandmamma and aunt immediately made inquiries as to the reason of so +much disturbance, but the children were scarcely able to utter the +usual 'good morning;' and when called upon to tell their cause of +trouble, did nothing but begin to cry afresh. + +"Whereupon their aunt was dispatched up-stairs to find out what was +amiss; and then, for the first time, she heard from the nurse the +history of the Tod family, the children's devotion to them, and their +present vexatious grief about the loss of a solitary one of what she +called their stupid bits of nonsense. + +"Foolish as the whole affair sounds in looking back upon it, it +certainly was one which required rather delicate handling, and I +doubt whether anybody but a mother could have handled it properly. +Grandmamma and aunt had every wish to do for the best, but they +hardly took enough into consideration, either the bereaved condition +of those motherless little ones, or their highly fanciful turn of +mind. Yet nobody was to blame; the children spent all the summer +with their father in the country, and all the winter with their +grandmamma in London; and, therefore, no continued knowledge of their +characters was possible, for they were always birds of passage +everywhere. Certainly, however, it was a great mistake, under such +circumstances, for grandmamma and aunt to have broken rudely into the +one stronghold of childish comfort, which they had raised up for +themselves." + +Aunt Judy paused, and No. 6 really looked frightened as to what was +coming next, and asked what Aunt Judy could mean that they did. +"Were they very angry?" + +"No, they were not very angry," Aunt Judy said; "perhaps if they had +been only that, the whole thing would have passed over and been +forgotten. + +"But they held grave consultation upon the subject, and made it too +serious, in my opinion, and I dare say you will think so too. +Meantime the naughty children were turned out of the room while they +talked, and the mystery of this, sobered their temper considerably; +so that they made no further disturbance, but wandered up and down +the stairs, and about the hall, in silent discomfort. + +"At one time they thought they heard the drawing-room door open, and +their aunt go up-stairs towards the nursery department again; but +then for a long while they heard no more; and at last, childlike, +began to amuse themselves by seeing how far along the oil-cloth +pattern they could each step, as they walked the length of the hall, +the great object being to stretch from one particular diamond to +another, without touching any intermediate mark. + +"In the midst of the excitement of this, they heard their aunt's +voice calling to them from the middle of the last flight of stairs. +There was something in her face, composed as it was, which alarmed +them directly, and there they stood quite still, gazing at her. + +"'Grandmamma and I,' she began, 'think you have been very silly +indeed in making such a fuss about those rabbits' tails; and you have +been very naughty indeed to-day, VERY NAUGHTY, in crying so +ridiculously, and teazing all the servants, because of one being +lost. You can't play with them rationally, nurse is sure, and so we +think you will be very much better without them. Grandmamma has sent +me to tell you--YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE TODS, AS YOU CALL THEM, ANY +MORE.' + +"Aunt Judy, it was horrible!" cried No. 6; "savage and horrible!" she +repeated, and burst the next instant into a flood of tears. + +"Oh, my old darling No. 6," cried Aunt Judy, covering the sobbing +child quite round with both her arms, "surely YOU are not going into +hysterics about the rabbits' tails too! I doubt if even their little +mammas did that. Come! you must cheer up, or mamma will leave to be +sent for to say that if you are so unreasonable, you must never +listen to Aunt Judy's stories any more." + +No. 6's emotion began to subside under the comfortable embrace, and +Aunt Judy's joke provoked a smile. + +"There now, that's good!" cried Aunt Judy; "and now, if you won't be +ridiculous, I will finish the story. I almost think the prettiest +part is to come." + +This was consolation indeed; but No. 6 could not resist a remark. + +"But, Aunt Judy, wasn't that aunt--" + +"Hush, hush," interrupted Aunt Judy, "I apologized for both aunt and +grandmamma before I told you what they did. They meant to do for the +best, and + + +'The best can do no more.' + + +They cured the evil too, though in what you and I think rather a +rough manner. And rough treatment is sometimes very effectual, +however unpleasant. It was but a preparation for the much harder +disappointments of older life." + +"Poor little things!" ejaculated No. 6, once more. "Just tell me if +they cried dreadfully." + +"I don't think I care to talk much about that, dear No. 6," answered +her sister. "They had cried almost as much as they could do in one +day, and were stupified by the new misfortune, besides which, they +had a feeling all the time of having brought it on themselves by +being dreadfully naughty. It was a sad muddle altogether, I must +confess. The shock upon the poor children's minds at the time must +have been very great, for the memory of that bereavement clung to +them through grown-up life, as a very unpleasant recollection, when a +thousand more important things had passed away forgotten from their +thoughts. In fact, as I said, the motherless little girls really +broke their hearts over a parcel of rabbits' tails. But I must go on +with the story. After a day or two of dull desolation, the children +wearied even of their grief. And both grandmamma and aunt became +very sorry for them, although the fatal subject of the Tods was never +mentioned; but they bought them several beautiful toys which no child +could help looking at or being pleased with. Among these presents +was a brown fur dog, with a very nice face and a pair of bright black +eyes, and a curly tail hung over his back in a particularly graceful +manner; and this was, as you may suppose, in the children's eyes, the +gem of all their new treasures. The feel of him reminded them of the +lost Tods; and in every respect he was, of course, superior. They +named him 'Carlo,' and in a quiet manner established him as the +favourite creature of their play. And thus, by degrees, and as time +went on, their grief for the loss of the Tods abated somewhat; and at +last they began to talk about them to each other, which was a sure +sign that their feelings were softened. + +"But you will never guess what turn their conversation took. They +did not begin to say how sorry they had been, or were; nor did they +make any angry remarks about their aunt's cruelty; but one day as +they were sitting playing with Carlo, in what may be called the Tod +corner of the nursery, the eldest child said suddenly to her sister, +in a low voice + +"'What do you think our aunt has REALLY done with the Tods?' + +"A question which seemed not at all to surprise the other, for she +answered, in the same mysterious tone:- + +"'I don't know, but I don't think she COULD burn them.' + +"'And I don't, either,' was the rejoinder. 'Perhaps she has only put +them somewhere where WE cannot get at them.' + +"The next idea came from the younger child:- + +"'Do you think she'll ever let us have them back again?' + +"But the answer to this was a long shake of the head from the wiser +elder sister. And then they began to play with Carlo again. + +"But after that day they used often to exchange a few words together +on the subject, although only to the same effect--their aunt COULD +not have burnt them, they felt sure. She never said she had burnt +them. She only said, 'YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE TODS ANY MORE.' + +"Perhaps she had only put them by; perhaps she had put them by in +some comfortable place; perhaps they were in their little basket in +some closet, or corner of the house, quite as snug as up in the +nursery. + +"And here the conversation would break off again. As to asking any +questions of their aunt, THAT was a thing that never crossed their +minds. It was impossible; the subject was so fatally serious! . . . +But I believe there was an involuntary peeping about into closets and +out-of-the-way places whenever opportunity offered; yet no result +followed, and the Tods were not found. + +"One night, two or three months later, and just before the little +things were moved back from London to their country home; and when +they were in bed in their sleeping room, as usual, and the nurse had +left them, and had shut the door between them and the day nursery, +where she sat at work, the elder child called out in a whisper to the +younger one:- + +"'Sister, are you asleep?' + +"'No. Why?' + +"'I'll tell you of a place where the Tods may be.' + +"'Where?' + +"'The cellar.' + +"'Do you think so?' + +"'Yes. I think we've looked everywhere else. And I think perhaps +it's very nice down there with bits of sawdust here and there on the +ground. I saw some on the bottle to-day, and it was quite soft. +Aunt would be quite sure we should never see them there. I dare say +it's very snug indeed all among the barrels and empty bottles in that +cellar we once peeped into.' + +"The younger child here began to laugh in delighted amusement, but +the elder one bade her 'hush,' or the nurse would hear them; and then +proceeded whispering as before + +"'It's a great big place, and they could each have a house, and visit +each other, and hide, and make fun.' + +"'And I dare say Softy was put there first,' interposed the younger +sister. + +"'Ay, and how pleased the others would be to find him there! Only +think!' + +"And they DID think. Poor little things, they lay and thought of +that meeting when 'the others' were put in the cellar where 'Softy' +already was, ready to welcome them to his new home; and they talked +of all that might have happened on such an occasion, and told each +other that the Tods were much happier altogether there, than if the +others had remained in the nursery separated from dear little Softy. +In short, they talked till the door opened, and the nurse, +unsuspicious of the state of her young charges, went to bed herself, +and sleep fell on the whole party. + +"But a new world had now opened before them out of the very midst of +their sorrow itself. The fancy home of the Tods was almost a more +available source of amusement, than even playing with the real things +had been; and sometimes in the early morning, sometimes for the +precious half-hour at night, before sleep overtook them, the little +wits went to work with fresh details and suppositions, and they +related to each other, in turns, the imaginary events of the day in +the cellar among the barrels. Each morning, when they went down- +stairs, Carlo was put in the Tod corner of the nursery and instructed +to slip away, as soon as he could manage it, to the Tods in the +cellar, and hear all that they had been about. + +"And marvellous tales Mr. Carlo used to bring back, if the children's +accounts to each other were to be trusted. Such running about, to be +sure, took place among those barrels and empty bottles. Such playing +at bo-peep. Such visits of 'Furry' and his family to 'Buffy' and HIS +family, when the little 'Furrys' and 'Buffys' could not be kept in +order, but would go peeping into bungholes, and tumbling nearly +through, and having to be picked out by Carlo, drabbled and chilled, +but ready for a fresh frolic five minutes after! + +"Such comical disputes, too, they had, as to how far the grounds +round each Tod's house extended; such funny adventures of getting +into their neighbour's corner instead of their own, in the dim light +that prevailed, and being mistaken for a thief; when Carlo had to +come and act as judge among them, and make them kiss and be friends +all round! + +"Such dinners, too, Carlo brought them, as he passed through the +kitchen on his road to the cellar, and watched his opportunity to +carry off a few un-missed little bits for his friends below. Dear +me! his contrivances on that score were endless, and the odd things +he got hold of sometimes by mistake, in his hurry, were enough to +kill the Tods with laughing--to say nothing of the children who were +inventing the history! + +"Then the care they took to save the little drops at the bottom of +the bottles, for Carlo, in return for all the trouble he had, was +most praiseworthy; and sometimes, when there was a rather larger +quantity than usual, they would have SUCH a feast!--and drink the +healths of their dear little mistresses in the nursery up-stairs. + +"In short, it was as perfect a fancy as their love for the Tods, and +their ideas of enjoyment could make it. Nothing uncomfortable, +nothing sad, was ever heard of in that cellar-home of their lost +pets. No quarrelling, no crying, no naughtiness, no unkindness, were +supposed to trouble it. Nothing was known of, there, but comfort and +fun, and innocent blunders and jokes, which ended in fun and comfort +again. One thing, therefore, you see, was established as certain +throughout the whole of the childish dream:- the departed favourites +were all perfectly happy, as happy as it was possible to be; and they +sent loving messages by Carlo to their old friends to say so, and to +beg them not to be sorry for THEM, for, excepting that they would +like some day to see those old friends again, they had nothing left +to wish for in their new home:- + +"And here the Tod story ends!" remarked Aunt Judy, in conclusion, +"and I beg you to observe, No. 6, that, like all my stories, it ends +happily. The children had now got hold of an amusement which was +safe from interference, and which lasted--I am really afraid to say +how long; for even after the fervour of their Tod love had abated, +they found an endless source of invention and enjoyment in the +cellar-home romance, and told each other anecdotes about it, from +time to time, for more, I believe, than a year." + +When Aunt Judy paused here, as if expecting some remark, all that No. +6 could say, was:- + +"Poor little things!" + +"Ay, they were still that," exclaimed Aunt Judy, "even in the midst +of their new-found comfort. Oh, No. 6, when one thinks of the +strange way in which they first of all created a sorrow for +themselves, and then devised for themselves its consolation, what a +pity it seems that no good was got out of it!" + +It was not likely that No. 6 should guess what the good was which +Aunt Judy thought might have been got out of it; and so she said; +whereupon Aunt Judy explained:- + +"Did it not offer a quite natural opportunity,--if any kind friend +had but known of it,--of speaking to those children of some of the +sacred hopes of our Christian faith?--of leading them, through kind +talk about their own pretty fancies, to the subject of WHAT REALLY +BECOMES of the dear friends who are taken away from us by death? + +"Had I been THEIR Aunt Judy," she continued, "I should have thought +it no cruelty, but kindness then, to have spoken to them about their +lost mother, and told them that she was living now in a place where +she was much, much happier, than she had ever been before, and where +one of the very few things she had left to wish for, was, that one +day she might see them again: not in this world, where people are so +often uncomfortable and sad, but in that happy one where there is no +more sorrow, or crying, for God Himself wipes away the tears from all +eyes. + +"I should have told them besides," pursued Aunt Judy, "that it would +not please their dear mother at all for them to fret for her, and +FANCY THEY COULDN'T DO WITHOUT HER, and be discontented because God +had taken her away, and think it would have been much better for them +if He had not done so--(as if He did not know a thousand times better +than they could do:)--but that it would please her very much for them +to pray to God to make them good, so that they might all meet +together at last in that very happy place. + +"In short, No. 6, I would have led them, if possible, to make a +comforting reality to themselves of the next world, as they had +already got a comforting fancy out of the cellar-dream of the Tods. +And that is the good, dear child, which I meant might have been got +out of the Tod adventure." + +Aunt Judy ceased, but there was no chance of seeing the effect of +what she had said on No. 6's face, for it was laid on her sister's +lap; probably to hide the tears which would come into her eyes at +Aunt Judy's allusion to what she had said about HER. + +At last a rather husky voice spoke:- + +"You can't expect people to like what is so very sad, even if it is-- +what you call--right--and all that." + +"No! neither does God expect it!" was Aunt Judy's earnest reply. "We +are allowed to be sorry when trials come, for we feel the suffering, +and cannot at present understand the blessing or necessity of it. +But we are not allowed to 'sorrow without hope;' and we are not +allowed, even when we are most sorry, to be rebellious, and fancy we +could choose better for ourselves than God chooses for us." + +Aunt Judy's lesson, as well as story, was ended now, and she began +talking over the entertaining part of the Tod history, and then went +on to other things, till No. 6 was quite herself again, and wanted to +know how much was true about the motherless little girls; and when +she found from Aunt Judy's answer that the account was by no means +altogether an invention, she went into a fever-fidget to know who the +children were, and what had become of them; and finally settled that +the one thing in the world she most wished for, was to see them. + +Nor would she be persuaded that this was a foolish idea, until Aunt +Judy asked her how she would like to be introduced to a couple of +VERY old women, with huge hooked noses, and beardy, nut-cracker +chins, and be told that THOSE were the motherless little girls who +had broken their hearts over rabbits' tails!--an inquiry which +tickled No. 6's fancy immensely, so that she began to laugh, and +suggest a few additions of her own to the comical picture, in the +course of doing which, she fortunately quite lost sight of the "one +thing" which a few minutes before she had "most wished for in the +world!" + + + +"OUT OF THE WAY" + + + +"Oh wonderful Son that can so astonish a Mother!" +HAMLET. + +"What a horrid nuisance you are, No. 8, brushing everything down as +you go by! Why can't you keep out of the way?" + +"Oh, you mustn't come here, No. 8. Aunt Judy, look! he's sitting on +my doll's best cloak. Do tell him to go away." + +"I can't have you bothering me, No. 8; don't you see how busy I am, +packing? Get away somewhere else." + +"You should squeeze yourself into less than nothing, and be nowhere, +No. 8." + +The suggestion, (uttered with a jocose grin,) came from a small boy +who had ensconced himself in the corner of a window, where he was +sitting on his heels, painting the Union Jack of a ship in the +Illustrated London News. He had certainly acted on the advice he +gave, as nearly as was possible. Surely no little boy of his age +ever got into so small a compass before, or in a position more +effectually out of everybody's possible way. The window corner led +nowhere, and there was nothing in it for anybody to want. + +"No. 8, I never saw anything so tiresome as you are. Why will you +poke your nose in where you're not wanted? You're always in the +way." + + +"'He poked his flat nose into every place;'" + + +sung, sotto voce, by the small boy in the window corner. + +No. 8 did not stop to dispute about it, though, in point of fact, his +nose was not flat, so at least in that respect he did not resemble +the duck in the song. + +He had not, however, been successful in gaining the attention of his +friends down-stairs, so he dawdled off to make an experiment in +another quarter. + +"Why, you're not coming into the nursery now, Master No. 8, surely! +I can't do with you fidgetting about among all the clothes and +packing. There isn't a minute to spare. You might keep out of the +way till I've finished." + +"Now, Master No. 8, you must be off. There's no time or room for you +in the kitchen this morning. There's ever so many things to get +ready yet. Run away as fast as you can." + +"What ARE you doing in the passages, No. 8? Don't you see that you +are in everybody's way? You had really better go to bed again." + +But the speaker hurried forward, and No. 8 betook himself to the +staircase, and sat down exactly in the middle of the middle flight. +And there be amused himself by peeping through the banisters into the +hall, where people were passing backwards and forwards in a great +fuss; or listening to the talking and noise that were going on in the +rooms above. + +But be was not "out of the way" there, as he soon learnt. Heavy +steps were presently heard along the landing, and heavy steps began +to descend the stairs. Two men were carrying down a heavy trunk. + +"You'll have to move, young gentleman, if you please," observed one; +"you're right in the way just there!" + +No. 8 descended with all possible speed, and arrived on the mat at +the bottom. + +"There now, I told you, you were always in the way," was the greeting +he received. "How stupid it is! Try under the table, for pity's +sake." + +Under the table! it was not a bad idea; moreover, it was a new one-- +quite a fresh plan. No. 8 grinned and obeyed. The hall table was no +bad asylum, after all, for a little boy who was always in the way +everywhere else; besides, he could see everything that was going on. +No. 8 crept under, and squatted himself on the cocoa-nut matting. He +looked up, and looked round, and felt rather as if he was in a tent, +only with a very substantial covering over his head. + +Presently the dog passed by, and was soon coaxed to lie down in the +table retreat by the little boy's side, and the two amused themselves +very nicely together. The fact was, the family were going from home, +and the least the little ones could do during the troublesome +preparation, was not to be troublesome themselves; but this is +sometimes rather a difficult thing for little ones to accomplish. +Nevertheless, No. 8 had accomplished it at last. + +"Capital, No. 8! you and the dog are quite a picture. If I had time, +I would make a sketch of you." + +That was the remark of the first person who went by afterwards, and +No. 8 grinned as he heard it. + +"Well done, No. 8! that's the best contrivance I ever saw!" + +Remark the second, followed by a second grin. + +"Why, you don't mean to say that you're under the table, Master No. +8? Well you ARE a good boy! I'm sure I'll tell your mamma." + +Another grin. + +"You dear old fellow, to put yourself so nicely out of the way! +You're worth I don't know what." + +Grin again. + +"Master No. 8 under the table, to be sure! Well, and a very nice +place it is, and quite suitable. Ever so much better than the hot +kitchen, when there's baking and all sorts of things going on. Here, +lovey! here's a little cake that was spared, that I was taking to the +parlour; but, as you're there, you shall have it." + +No. 8 grinned with all his heart this time. + +"I wish I'd thought of that! Why, I could have painted my ship there +without being squeezed!" + +It needs scarcely to be told that this was the observation of the +small boy who had watched an opportunity for emerging from the window +corner without fuss, and was now carrying his little paint-box up- +stairs to be packed away in the children's bag. As he spoke, he +stooped down to look at No. 8 and the dog, and smiled his +approbation, and No. 8 smiled in return. + +"No. 8, how snug you do look!" + +Once more an answering grin. + +"No. 8, you're the best boy in the world; and if you stay there till +Nurse is ready for you, you shall have a penny all to yourself." + +No. 8's grin was accompanied by a significant nod this time, to show +that he accepted the bargain. + +"My darling No. 8, you may come out now. There! give me a kiss, and +get dressed as fast as you can. The fly will be here directly. +You're a very good boy indeed." + +"No. 8, you're the pattern boy of the family, and I shall come with +you in the fly, and tell you a story as we go along for a reward." + +No. 8 liked both the praise, and the cake, and the penny, and the +kiss, and the promise of the rewarding story for going under the +table; but the why and wherefore of all these charming facts, was a +complete mystery to him. What did that matter, however? He ran up- +stairs, and got dressed, and was ready before anyone else; and, by a +miracle of good fortune, was on the steps, and not in the middle of +the carriage-drive, when the fly arrived, which was to take one batch +of the large family party to the railway station. + +No one was as fond of the fly conveyance as of the open carriage; +for, in the first place, it was usually very full and stuffy; and, in +the second, very little of the country could be seen from the +windows. + +But, on the present occasion, Aunt Judy having offered her services +to accompany the fly detachment, there was a wonderful alteration of +sentiment, as to who should be included. Aunt Judy, however, had her +own ideas. The three little ones belonged to the fly, as it were by +ancient usage and custom, and more than five it would not hold. + +Five it would hold, however, and five accordingly got in, No. 4 +having pleaded her own cause to be "thrown in:" and at last, with +nurses and luggage and No. 5 outside, away they drove, leaving the +open carriage and the rest to follow. + +Nothing is perfect in this world. Those who had the airy drive +missed the story, and regretted it; but it was fair that the pleasure +should be divided. + +And, after all, although the fly might be a little stuffy and closely +packed, and although it cost some trouble to settle down without +getting crushed, and make footstools of carpet bags, and let down all +the windows,--the commotion was soon over; and it was a wonderful +lull of peace and quietness, after the confusion and worry of packing +and running about, to sit even in a rattling fly. And so for five +minutes and more, all the travellers felt it to be, and a soothing +silence ensued; some leaning back, others looking silently out at the +retreating landscape, or studying with earnestness the wonderful red +plush lining of the vehicle itself. + +But presently, after the rest had lasted sufficiently long to recruit +all the spirits, No. 7 remarked, not speaking to anybody in +particular, "I thought Aunt Judy was going to tell us a story." + +No. 7 was a great smiler in a quiet way, and he smiled now, as he +addressed his remark to the general contents of the fly. + +Aunt Judy laughed, and inquired for whom the observation was meant, +adding her readiness to begin, if they would agree to sit quiet and +comfortable, without shuffling up and down, or disputing about space +and heat; and, these points being agreed to, she began her story as +follows:- + +"There were once upon a time a man and his wife who had an only son. +They were Germans, I believe, for all the funny things that happen, +happen in Germany, as you know by Grimm's fairy tales. + +"Well! this man, Franz, had been a watchmaker and mender in an old- +fashioned country town, and he had made such a comfortable fortune by +the business, that he was able to retire before he grew very old; and +so he bought a very pretty little villa in the outskirts of the town, +had a garden full of flowers with a fountain in the middle, and +enjoyed himself very much. + +"His wife enjoyed herself too, but never so much as when the +neighbours, as they passed by, peeped over the palings, and said, +'What a pretty place! What lucky people the watchmaker and his wife +are! How they must enjoy themselves!' + +"On such occasions, Madame Franz would run to her husband, crying +out, 'Come here, my dear, as fast as you can! Come, and listen to +the neighbours, saying, how we must enjoy ourselves!' + +"Franz was very apt to grunt when his wife summoned him in this +manner, and, at any rate, never would go as she requested; but little +Franz, the son, who was very like his mother, and had got exactly her +turn-up nose and sharp eyes, would scamper forward in a moment to +hear what the neighbours had to say, and at the end would exclaim:- + +"'Isn't it grand, mother, that everybody should think that?' + +"To which his mother would reply:- + +"'It is, Franz, dear! I'm so glad you feel for your mother!' and +then the two would embrace each other very affectionately several +times, and Madame Franz would go to her household business, rejoicing +to think that, if her husband did not quite sympathize with her, her +son did. + +"Young Franz had been somewhat spoilt in his childhood, as only +children generally are. As to his mother, from there being no +brothers and sisters to compare him with, she thought such a boy had +never been seen before; and she told old Franz so, so often, that at +last he began to believe it too. And then they got all sorts of +masters for him, to teach him everything they could think of, and +qualify him, as his mother said, for some rich young lady to fall in +love with. That was her idea of the way in which he was one day to +make his fortune. + +"At last, a time came when his mother thought the young gentleman +quite finished and complete; fit for anything and anybody, and likely +to create a sensation in the world. So she begged old Franz to +dismiss all his masters, and give him a handsome allowance, that he +might go off on his travels and make his fortune, in the manner +before mentioned. + +"Old Mr. Franz shook his head at first, and called it all a parcel of +nonsense. Moreover, he declared that Master Franz was a mere child +yet, and would get into a hundred foolish scrapes in less than a +week; but mamma expressed her opinion so positively, and repeated it +so often, that at last papa began to entertain it too, and gave his +consent to the plan. + +"The fact was, though I am sorry to say it, Mr. Franz was henpecked. +That is, his wife was always trying to make him obey her, instead of +obeying him, as she ought to have done; and she had managed him so +long, that she knew she could persuade him, or talk him (which is +much the same thing) into anything, provided she went on long enough. + +"So she went on about Franz going off on his travels with a handsome +allowance, till Papa Franz consented, and settled an income upon him, +which, if they had been selfish parents, they would have said they +could not afford; but, as it was, they talked the matter over +together, and told each other that it was very little two old souls +like themselves would want when their gay son was away; and so they +would draw in, and live quite quietly, as they used to do in their +early days before they grew rich, and would let the lad have the +money to spend upon his amusements. + +"Young Franz either didn't know, or didn't choose to think about +this. Clever as he was about many things, he was not clever enough +to take in the full value of the sacrifices his parents were making +for him; so he thanked them lightly for the promised allowance, +rattled the first payment cheerfully into his purse, and smiled on +papa and mamma with almost condescending complacency. When he was +equipped in his best suit, and just ready for starting, his mother +took him aside. + +"'Franz, my dear,' she said, 'you know how much money and pains have +been spent on your education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and +talk, and make yourself heard wherever you go. Now mind you do make +yourself heard, or who is to find out your merits? Don't be shy and +downcast when you come among strangers. All you have to think about, +with your advantages, is to make yourself agreeable. That's the rule +for you! Make yourself agreeable wherever you go, and the wife and +the fortune will soon be at your feet. And, Franz,' continued she, +laying hold of the button of his coat, 'there is something else. You +know, I have often said that the one only thing I could wish +different about you is, that your nose should not turn up quite so +much. But you see, my darling boy, we can't alter our noses. +Nevertheless, look here! you can incline your head in such a manner +as almost to hide the little defect. See--this way--there--let me +put it as I mean--a little down and on one side. It was the way I +used to carry my head before I married, or I doubt very much whether +your father would have looked my way. Think of this when you're in +company. It's a graceful attitude too, and you will find it much +admired.' + +"Franz embraced his mother, and promised obedience to all her +commands; but he was glad when her lecture ended, for he was not very +fond of her remarks upon his nose. Just then the door of his +father's room opened, and he called out:- + +"'Franz, my dear, I want to speak to you.' + +"Franz entered the room, and 'Now, my dear boy,' said papa, 'before +you go, let me give you one word of parting advice; but stop, we will +shut the door first, if you please. That's right. Well, now, look +here. I know that no pains or expense have been spared over your +education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and talk, and make +yourself heard wherever you go.' + +"'My dear sir,' interrupted Franz, 'I don't think you need trouble +yourself to go on. My mother has just been giving me the advice +beforehand.' + +"'No, has she though?' cried old Franz, looking up in his son's face; +but then he shook his head, and said:- + +"'No, she hasn't, Franz; no, she hasn't; so listen to me. We've all +made a fuss about you, and praised whatever you've done, and you've +been a sort of idol and wonder among us. But, now you're going among +strangers, you will find yourself Mr. Nobody, and the great thing is, +you must be contented to be Mr. Nobody at first. Keep yourself in +the background, till people have found out your merits for +themselves; and never get into anybody's way. Keep OUT of the way, +in fact, that's the safest rule. It's the secret of life for a young +man--How impatient you look! but mark my words:- all you have to +attend to, with your advantages, is, to keep out of the way.' + +"After this bit of advice, the father bestowed his blessing on his +dear Franz, and unlocked the door, close to which they found Mrs. +Franz, waiting rather impatiently till the conference was over. + +"'What a time you have been, Franz!' she began; but there was no time +to talk about it, for they all knew that the coach, or post-wagon, as +they call it in Germany, was waiting. + +"Mrs. Franz wrung her son's hand. + +"'Remember what I've said, my dearest Franz!' she cried. + +"'Trust me!' was Mr. Franz's significant reply. + +"'You'll not forget my rule?' whispered papa. + +"'Forget, sir? no, that's not possible,' answered + +Mr. Franz in a great hurry, as he ran off to catch the post-wagon; +for they could see it in the distance beginning to move, though part +of the young gentleman's luggage was on board. + +"Well! he was just in time; but what do you think was the next thing +he did, after keeping the people waiting? A sudden thought struck +him, that it would be as well for the driver and passengers to know +how well educated he had been, so he began to give the driver a few +words of geographical information about the roads they were going. + +"'Jump in directly, sir, if you please,' was the driver's gruff +reply. + +"'Certainly not, till I've made you understand what I mean,' says +Master Franz, quite facetiously. But, then, smack went the whip, and +the horses gave a jolt forwards, and over the tip of the learned +young gentleman's foot went the front wheel. + +"It was a nasty squeeze, though it might have been worse, but Franz +called out very angrily, something or other about 'disgraceful +carelessness,' on which the driver smacked his whip again, and +shouted:- + +"'Gentlemen that won't keep out of the way, must expect to have their +toes trodden on.' Everybody laughed at this, but Franz was obliged +to spring inside, without taking any notice of the joke, as the coach +was now really going on; and if he had began to talk, he would have +been left behind. + +"And now," continued Aunt Judy, stopping herself, "while Franz is +jolting along to the capital town of the country, you shall tell me +whose advice you think he followed when he got to the end of the +journey, and began life for himself--his father's or his mother's?" + +There was a universal cry, mixed with laughter, of "His mother's!" + +"Quite right," responded Aunt Judy. "His mother's, of course. It +was far the most agreeable, no doubt. Keeping out of the way is a +rather difficult thing for young folks to manage." + +A glance at No. 8 caused that young gentleman's face to grin all +over, and Aunt Judy proceeded:- + +"After his arrival at the great hotel of the town, he found there was +to be a public dinner there that evening, which anybody might go to, +who chose to pay for it; and this he thought would be a capital +opportunity for him to begin life: so, accordingly, he went up- +stairs to dress himself out in his very best clothes for the +occasion. + +"And then it was that, as he sat in front of the glass, looking at +his own face, while he was brushing his hair and whiskers, and +brightening them up with bear's-grease, he began to think of his +father and mother, and what they had said, and what he had best do. + +"'An excellent, well-meaning couple, of course, but as old-fashioned +as the clocks they used to mend,' was his first thought. 'As to +papa, indeed, the poor old gentleman thinks the world has stood still +since he was a young man, thirty years ago. His stiff notions were +all very well then, perhaps, but in these advanced times they are +perfectly quizzical. Keep out of the way, indeed! Why, any +ignoramus can do that, I should think! Well, well, he means well, +all the same, so one must not be severe. As to mamma now--poor +thing--though she IS behindhand herself in many ways, yet she DOES +know a good thing when she sees it, and that's a great point. She +can appreciate the probable results of my very superior education and +appearance. To be sure, she's a little silly over that nose affair;- +-but women will always be silly about something.' + +"Nevertheless, at this point in his meditations, Master Franz might +have been seen inclining his head down on one side, just as his +mother had recommended, and then giving a look at the mirror, to see +whether the vile turn-up did really disappear in that attitude. I +suspect, however, that he did not feel quite satisfied about it, for +he got rather cross, and finished his dressing in a great hurry, but +not before he had settled that there could be only one opinion as to +whose advice he should be guided by--dear mamma's. + +"'Should it fail,' concluded he to himself, as he gave the last smile +at the looking-glass, 'there will be poor papa's old-world notion to +fall back upon, after all.' + +"Now, you must know that Master Franz had never been at one of these +public dinners before, so there is no denying that when he entered +the large dining-hall, where there was a long table, set out with +plates, and which was filling fast with people, not one of whom he +knew, he felt a little confused. But he repeated his mother's words +softly to himself, and took courage: 'DON'T BE SHY AND DOWNCAST WHEN +YOU COME AMONG STRANGERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT, WITH YOUR +ADVANTAGES, IS TO MAKE YOURSELF AGREEABLE;' and, on the strength of +this, he passed by the lower end of the table, where there were +several unoccupied places, and walked boldly forward to the upper +end, where groups of people were already seated, and were talking and +laughing together. + +"In the midst of one of these groups, there was one unoccupied seat, +and in the one next to it sat a beautiful, well-dressed young lady. +'Why, this is the very thing,' thought Mr. Franz to himself. 'Who +knows but what this is the young lady who is to make my fortune?' + +"There was a card, it is true, in the plate in front of the vacant +seat, but 'as to that,' thought Franz, 'first come, first served, I +suppose; I shall sit down!' + +"And sit down the young gentleman accordingly did in the chair by the +beautiful young lady, and even bowed and smiled to her as he did so. + +"But the next instant he was tapped on the shoulder by a waiter. + +"'The place is engaged, sir!' and the man pointed to the card in the +plate. + +"'Oh, if that's all,' was Mr. Franz's witty rejoinder, 'here's +another to match!' and thereupon he drew one of his own cards from +his pocket, threw it into the plate, and handed the first one to the +astonished waiter, with the remark:- + +"'The place is engaged, my good friend, you see!' + +"The young goose actually thought this impudence clever, and glanced +across the table for applause as he spoke. But although Mamma +Watchmaker, if she had heard it, might have thought it a piece of +astonishing wit, the strangers at the public table were quite of a +different opinion, and there was a general cry of 'Turn him out!' + +"'Turn me out!' shouted Mr. Franz, jumping up from his chair, as if +he intended to fight them all round; and there is no knowing what +more nonsense he might not have talked, but that a very sonorous +voice behind him called out,--a hand laying hold of him by the +shoulders at the same time - + +"'Young man, I'll trouble you to get out of my chair, and' (a little +louder) 'out of my way, and' (a little louder still) 'to KEEP out of +my way!' + +"Franz felt himself like a child in the grasp of the man who spoke; +and one glimpse he caught of a pair of coal-black eyes, two frowning +eye-brows, and a moustachioed mouth, nearly frightened him out of his +wits, and he was half way down the room before he knew what was +happening; for, after the baron let him go, the waiter seized him and +hustled him along, till he came to the bottom of the table; where, +however, there was now no room for him, as all the vacant places had +been filled up; so he was pushed finally to a side-table in a corner, +at which sat two men in foreign dresses, not one word of whose +language he could understand. + +"These two fellows talked incessantly together too, which was all the +more mortifying, because they gesticulated and laughed as if at some +capital joke. Franz was very quiet at first, for the other adventure +had sobered him, but presently, with his mother's advice running in +his head, he resolved to make himself agreeable, if possible. + +"So, at the next burst of merriment, he affected to have entered into +the joke, threw himself back in his chair and laughed as loudly as +they did. The men stared for a second, then frowned, and then one of +them shouted something to him very loudly, which he did not +understand; so he placed his hand on his heart, put on an expressive +smile, and offered to shake hands. Thought he, that will be +irresistible! But he was mistaken. The other man now called loudly +to the waiter, and a moment after, Franz found himself being conveyed +by the said waiter through the doorway into the hall, with the remark +resounding in his ears:- + +"'What a foolish young gentleman you must be! Why can't you keep out +of people's way?' + +"'My good friend,' cried Mr. Franz, 'that's not my plan at present. +I'm trying to make myself agreeable.' + +"'Oh--pooh!--bother agreeable,' cried the waiter. 'What's the use of +making yourself agreeable, if you're always in the way? Here!--step +back, sir! don't you see the tray coming?' + +"Franz had not noticed it, and would probably have got a thump on the +head from it, if his friend the waiter had not pulled him back. The +man was a real good-natured, smiling German, and said:- + +"'Come, young gentleman, here's a candle;--you've a bed-room here, of +course. Now, you take my advice, and go to bed. You WILL be out of +the way there, and perhaps you'll get up wiser to-morrow.' + +"Franz took the candlestick mechanically, but, said he:- + +"'I understood there was to be dancing here tonight, and I can dance, +and--' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother dancing,' interrupted the waiter. 'What's the use +of dancing, if you're to be in everybody's way, and I know you will; +you can't help it. Here, be advised for once, and go to bed. I'll +bring you up some coffee before long. Go quietly up now--mind. Good +night.' + +"Two minutes afterwards, Mr. Franz found himself walking up-stairs, +as the waiter had ordered him to do, though he muttered something +about 'officious fellow' as he went along. + +"And positively he went to bed, as the officious fellow recommended; +and while he lay there waiting for the coffee, he began wondering +what COULD be the cause of the failure of his attempts to make +himself agreeable. Surely his mother was right--surely there could +be no doubt that, with his advantages--but he did not go on with the +sentence. + +"Well, after puzzling for some time, a bright thought struck him. It +was entirely owing to that stupid nose affair, which his mother was +so silly about. Of course that was it! He had done everything else +she recommended, but he could not keep his head down at the same +time, so people saw the snub! Well, he would practise the attitude +now, at any rate, till the coffee came! + +"No sooner said than done. Out of bed jumped Mr. Franz, and went +groping about for the table to find matches to light the candle. +But, unluckily, he had forgotten how the furniture stood, so he got +to the door by a mistake, and went stumbling up against it, just as +the waiter with the coffee opened it on the other side. + +"There was a plunge, a shout, a shuffling of feet, and then both were +on the floor, as was also the hot coffee, which scalded Franz's bare +legs terribly. + +"The waiter got up first, and luckily it was the 'officious fellow' +with the smiling face. And said he:- + +"'What a miserable young man you must be, to be sure! Why, you're +NEVER out of the way, not even when you're gone to bed!' + +This last anecdote caused an uproar of delight in the fly, and so +much noise, that Aunt Judy had to call the party to order, and talk +about the horses being frightened, after which she proceeded:- + +"I am sorry to say Mr. Franz did not get up next morning as much +wiser as the waiter had expected, for he laid all the blame of his +misfortunes on his nose instead of his impertinence, and never +thought of correcting himself, and being less intrusive. + +"On the contrary, after practising holding his head down for ten +minutes before the glass, he went out to the day's amusements, as +saucy and confident as ever. + +"Now there is no time," continued Aunt Judy, "for my telling you all +Mr. Franz's funny scrapes and adventures. When we get to the end of +the journey, you must invent some for yourselves, and sit together, +and tell them in turns, while we are busy unpacking. I will only +just say, that wherever he went, the same sort of things happened to +him, because he was always thrusting himself forward, and always +getting pushed back in consequence. + +"Out of the public gardens he got fairly turned at last, because he +would talk politics to some strange gentlemen on a bench. They got +up and walked away, but, five minutes afterwards, a very odd-looking +man looked over Franz's shoulder, and said significantly, 'I +recommend you to leave these gardens, sir, and walk elsewhere.' And +poor Franz, who had heard of such things as prisons and dungeons for +political offenders, felt a cold shudder run through him, and took +himself off with all possible speed, not daring to look behind him, +for fear he should see that dreadful man at his heels. Indeed, he +never felt safe till he was in his bed-room again, and had got the +waiter to come and talk to him. + +"'Dear me,' said the waiter, 'what a very silly young gentleman you +must be, to go talking away without being asked!' + +"'But,' said Franz, 'you don't consider what a superior education I +have had. I can talk and make myself heard--' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother talking,' interrupted the waiter; 'what's the use +of talking when nobody wants to listen? Much better go to bed.' + +"Franz would not give in yet, but was comforted to find the waiter +did not think he would be thrown into prisons and dungeons; so he +dined, and dressed, and went to the theatre to console himself, where +however he MADE HIMSELF HEARD so effectually--first applauding, then +hissing, and even speaking his opinions to the people round him--that +a set of young college students combined together to get rid of him, +and, I am sorry to add, they made use of a little kicking as the +surest plan; and so, before half the play was over, Mr. Franz found +himself in the street! + +"Now, then, I have told you enough of Mr. Franz's follies, except the +one last adventure, which made him alter his whole plan of +proceeding. + +"He had had two letters of introduction to take with him: one to an +old partner of his father's, who had settled in the capital some +years before; another to some people of more consequence, very +distant family connections. And, of course, Mr. Franz went there +first, as there seemed a nice chance of making his fortune among such +great folks. + +"And really the great folks would have been civil enough, but that he +soon spoilt everything by what HE called 'making himself agreeable.' +He was too polite, too affectionate, too talkative, too instructive, +by half! He assured the young ladies that he approved very highly of +their singing; trilled out a little song of his own, unasked, at his +first visit; fondled the pet lap-dog on his knee; congratulated papa +on looking wonderfully well for his age; asked mamma if she had tried +the last new spectacles; and, in short, gave his opinions, and +advice, and information, so freely, that as soon as he was gone the +whole party exclaimed:- + +"'What an impertinent jackanapes!' a jackanapes being nothing more +nor less than a human monkey. + +"This went on for some time, for he called very often, being too +stupid, in spite of his supposed cleverness, to take the hints that +were thrown out, that such repeated visits were not wanted. + +"At last, however, the family got desperate and one morning when he +arrived, (having teazed them the day before for a couple of hours,) +he saw nobody in the drawing-room when he was ushered in. + +"Never mind, thought he, they'll be here directly when they know I'M +come! And having brought a new song in his pocket, which he had been +practising to sing to them, he sat down to the piano, and began +performing alone, thinking how charmed they would be to hear such +beautiful sounds in the distance! + +"But, in the middle of his song, he heard a discordant shout, and +jumping up, discovered the youngest little Missy hid behind the +curtain, and crying tremendously. + +"Mr. Franz became quite theatrical. 'Lovely little pet, where are +your sisters? Have they left my darling to weep alone?' + +"'They shut the door before I could get through,' sobbed the lovely +little pet; 'and I won't be your darling a bit!' + +"Mr. Franz laughed heartily, and said how clever she was, took her on +his knee, told her her sisters would be back again directly, and +finished his remark by a kiss. + +"Unfortunate Mr. Franz! The young lady immediately gave him an +unmistakable box on the ear with her small fist, and vociferated + +"No, they won't, they won't, they won't! They'll never come back +till you're gone! They've gone away to get out of YOUR way, because +you won't keep out of THEIRS. And you're a forward puppy, papa says, +and can't take a hint; and you're always in everybody's way, and I'LL +get out of your way, too!' + +"Here the little girl began to kick violently; but there was no +occasion. Mr. Franz set her down, and while she ran off to her +sisters, he rushed back to the hotel, and double-locked himself into +his room. + +"After a time, however, he sent for his friend the waiter, for he +felt that a talk would do him good. + +"But the 'officious fellow' shook his head terribly. + +"'How many more times am I to tell you what a foolish young gentleman +you are?' cried he. 'Will you never get up wiser any morning of the +year?' + +"'I thought,' murmured Franz, in broken, almost sobbing accents--'I +thought--the young ladies--would have been delighted--with--my song;- +-you see--I've been--so well taught--and I can sing--' + +"'Oh! pooh, pooh, pooh!' interrupted the waiter once more. 'Bother +singing and everything else, if you've not been asked! Much better +go to bed!' + +"Poor Franz! It was hard work to give in, and he made a last effort. + +"'Don't you think--after all--that the prejudice--is owing to--what I +told you about:- people do so dislike a snub-nose?' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother a snub-nose,' exclaimed the waiter; 'what will +your nose signify, if you don't poke it in everybody's way?' + +"And with this conclusion Mr. Franz was obliged to be content; and he +ordered his dinner up-stairs, and prepared himself for an evening of +tears and repentance. + +"But, before the waiter had been gone five minutes, he returned with +a letter in his hand. + +"'Now, here's somebody asking something at last,' said he, for a +servant had brought it. + +"Franz trembled as he took it. It was sure to be either a scolding +or a summons to prison, he thought. But no such thing: it was an +invitation to dinner. Franz threw it on the floor, and kicked it +from him--he would go nowhere--see nobody any more! + +"The 'officious fellow' picked it up, and read it. 'Mr. Franz,' said +he, 'you mustn't go to bed this time: you must go to this dinner +instead. It's from your father's old partner--he wishes you had +called, but as you haven't called, he asks you to dine. Now you're +wanted, Mr. Franz, and must go.' + +"'I shall get into another mess,' cried Franz, despondingly. + +"'Oh, pooh! you've only to keep out of everybody's way, and all will +be right,' insisted the waiter, as he left the room. + +"'Only to keep out of everybody's way, and all will be right,' +ejaculated Mr. Franz, as he looked at his crest-fallen face in the +glass. 'It's a strange rule for getting on in life! However,' +continued he, cheering up, 'one plan has failed, and it's only fair +to give the other a chance!' + +"And all the rest of dressing-time, and afterwards as he walked along +the streets, he kept repeating his father's words softly to himself, +which was at first a very difficult thing to do, because he could not +help mixing them up with his mother's. It was the funniest thing in +the world to hear him: 'ALL YOU HAVE TO ATTEND TO, WITH YOUR +ADVANTAGES IS TO--MAKE YOURSELF--no, no! not to make myself +agreeable--IS TO--KEEP OUT OF THE WAY!--that's it!' (with a sigh.) + +"When Franz arrived at the house, he rang the bell so gently, that he +had to ring twice before he was heard; and then they concluded it was +some beggar, who was afraid of giving a good pull. + +"So, when he was ushered into the drawing-room, the old partner came +forward to meet him, took him by both hands, and, after one look into +his downcast face, said:- + +"'My dear Mr. Franz, you must put on a bolder face, and ring a louder +peal, next time you come to the house of your father's old friend!' + +"Mr. Franz answered this warm greeting by a sickly smile, and while +he was being introduced to the family, kept bowing on, thinking of +nothing but how he was to keep out of everybody's way!' + +"He was tempted every five minutes, of course, to break out in his +usual style, and could have found it in his heart to chuck the whole +party under the chin, and take all the talk to himself. But he could +be determined enough when he chose; and having determined to give his +father's rule a fair chance, he restrained himself to the utmost. + +"So, not even the hearty reception of the old partner and his wife, +nor the smiling faces of either daughters or sons, could lure him +into opening out. 'Yes' and 'No;' 'Do you think so?' 'I dare say;' +'Perhaps;' 'No doubt you're right;' and other such unmeaning little +phrases were all he would utter when they talked to him. + +"'How shy he is, poor fellow!' thought the ladies, and then they +talked to him all the more. One tried to amuse him with one subject, +another with another. How did he like the public gardens? Were they +not very pretty?--He scarcely knew. No doubt they were, if THEY +thought so. What did he think of the theatre?--It was very hot when +he was there. Had he any friends in the town?--He couldn't say +friends--he knew one or two people a little. And the poor youth +could hardly restrain a groan, as he answered each of the questions. + +"Then they chatted of books, and music, and dancing, and pressed him +hard to discover what he knew, and could do, and liked best; and when +it oozed out even from his short answers, that he had read certain +books in more than one language, and could sing--just a little; and +dance--just a little; and do several other things--just a little, +too, all sorts of nods and winks passed through the family, and they +said:- + +"'Ah, when you know us better, and are not so shy of us as strangers, +we shall find out you are as clever again as you pretend to be, dear +Mr. Franz!' + +"'I'll tell you what,' added the old partner, coming up at this +moment, 'it's a perfect treat to me, Mr. Franz, to have a young man +like you in my house! You're your father over again, and I can't +praise you more. He was the most modest, unobtrusive man in all our +town, and yet knew more of his business than all of us put together.' + +"'No, no, I can't allow that,' cried the motherly wife. + +"'Nonsense!' replied the old partner. 'However, my dear boy--for I +really must call you so--it was that very thing that made your +father's fortune; I mean that he was just as unpretending as he was +clever. Everybody trusts an unpretending man. And YOU'LL make your +fortune too in the same manner, trust me, before long. Now, boys!' +added he, turning to his sons, 'you hear what I say, and mind you +take the hint! As for the young puppies of the present day, who +fancy themselves fit to sit in the chair of their elders as soon as +ever they have learnt their alphabet, and are for thrusting +themselves forward in every company--Mr. Franz, I'll own it to you, +because you will understand me--I have no patience with such rude, +impertinent Jackanapeses, and always long to kick them down-stairs.' + +"The old partner stood in front of Mr. Franz as he spoke, and +clenched his fist in animation. Mr. Franz sat on thorns. He first +went hot, and then he went cold--he felt himself kicked down-stairs +as he listened--he was ready to cry--he was ready to fight--he was +ready to run away--he was ready to drop on his knees, and confess +himself the very most impertinent of all the impertinent Jackanapes' +race. + +But he gulped, and swallowed, and shut his teeth close, and nobody +found him out; only he looked very pale, which the good mother soon +noticed, and said she to her husband:- + +"'My dear love, don't you see how fagged and weary it makes Mr. Franz +look, to hear you raving on about a parcel of silly lads with whom HE +has nothing in common? You will frighten him out of his wits.' + +"'Mr. Franz will forgive me, I know,' cried the old partner, gently. +'Jacintha, my dear, fetch the wine and cake!' + +"The kind, careful souls feared he was delicate, and insisted on his +having some refreshment; and then papa ordered the young people to +give their guest some music; and Franz sat by while the sons and +daughters went through a beautiful opera chorus, which was so really +charming, that Mr. Franz did forget himself for a minute, clapped +violently, and got half-way through the word 'encore' in a very loud +tone. But he checked himself instantly, coloured, apologized for his +rudeness, and retreated further back from the piano. + +"Of course, this new symptom of modesty was met by more kindness, and +followed by a sly hint from the merry Jacintha, that Mr. Franz's turn +for singing had come now! + +"Poor Mr. Franz! with the recollection of the morning's adventure on +his mind, and his father's rule ringing in his ears, he felt singing +to be out of the question, so he declined. On which they entreated, +insisted, and would listen to no refusal. And Jacintha went to him, +and looked at him with her sweetest smile, and said, 'But you know, +Mr. Franz, you said you could sing a little; and if it's ever so +little, you should sing WHEN YOU'RE ASKED!' and with that Miss +Jacintha offered him her hand, and led him to the piano. + +"Franz was annoyed, though he ought to been pleased. + +"'But how AM I to keep out of people's way,' thought he to himself, +'if they will pull me forward? It's the oddest thing I ever knew. I +can't do right either way.' + +"Then a thought struck him:- + +"'I have no music, Miss Jacintha,' said he, 'and I can't sing without +music;' and he was going back again to his chair in the corner. + +"'But we have all the new music,' was her answer, and she opened a +portfolio at once. 'See, here's the last new song!' and she held one +up before the unfortunate youth, who at the sight of it coloured all +over, even to the tips of his ears. Whereupon Miss Jacintha, who was +watching him, laughed, and said she had felt sure he knew it; and +down she sat, and began to play the accompaniment, and in two minutes +afterwards Mr. Franz found himself--in spite of himself, as it were-- +exhibiting in THE song, the fatal song of the morning's adventure. + +"It was a song of tender sentiment, and the singer's almost tremulous +voice added to the effect, and a warm clapping of hands greeted its +conclusion. + +"But by that time Mr. Franz was so completely exhausted with the +struggles of this first effort on the new plan, that he began to wish +them good-night, saying he would not intrude upon them any longer. + +"They would shake hands with him, though he tried to bow himself off +without; and the old partner followed him down-stairs into the hall. + +"'Mr. Franz,' said he, 'we have been delighted to make your +acquaintance, but this has been only a quiet family party. Now we +know your SORT, you must come again, and meet our friends. Wife will +fix the day, and send you word; and don't you be afraid, young man! +Mind you come, and put your best foot forward among us all!' + +"Franz was almost desperate. His conscience began to reproach him. +What! was he going to accept all this kindness, like a rogue +receiving money under false pretences? He was shocked, and began to +protest:- + +"'I assure you, dear sir, I don't deserve--You are quite under a +mistake--I really am not--the fact is, you think a great deal better +of me than--" + +"'Nonsense!' shouted the old partner, clapping him vigorously on the +back. 'Why, you're not going to teach me at my time of life, surely? +Not going to turn as conceited as that, after all, eh? Come, come, +Mr. Franz, no nonsense! And to-morrow,' he added, 'I'll send you +letters of introduction to some of my friends, who will show you the +lions, and make much of you. You will be well received wherever you +take them, first for my sake, and afterwards for your own. There, +there! I won't hear a word! No thanks--I hate them! Good night.' + +"And the old partner fairly pushed Mr. Franz through the door. + +"'Oh dear, oh dear!' was the waiter's exclamation when Franz reached +the hotel, and the light of the lamp shone on his white, worn-out +face. 'Oh dear, oh dear! I fear you've been a silly young gentleman +over again! What HAVE you been doing this time?' + +"'I've been trying to keep out of everybody's way all the evening,' +growled Mr. Franz, 'and they would pull me forward, in spite of +myself.' + +"'No--really though?' cried the waiter, as if it were scarcely +possible. + +"'Really,' sighed poor Mr. Franz. + +"'Then do me the honour, sir,' exclaimed the waiter, with a sudden +deference of manner; and taking the tips of Franz's fingers in his +own, he bent over them with a salute. 'You're a wise young gentleman +now, sir, and your fortune's made. I'm glad you've hit it at last! + +"And Mr. Franz had hit it at last, indeed," continued Aunt Judy, "as +appeared more plainly still by the letters of introduction which +reached him next morning. They were left open, and were to this +effect:- + +"' . . . The bearer of this is the son of an old friend. One of the +most agreeable young men I ever saw. As modest as he is well +educated, and I can't say more. Procure him some amusement, that a +little of his shyness may be rubbed off; and forward his fortunes, my +dear friend, as far as you can . . . ' + +"Franz handed one of these letters to his friend the waiter, and the +'officious fellow' grinned from ear to ear. + +"'There is only one more thing to fear,' observed he. + +"'And what?' asked Franz. + +"'Why, that now you're comfortable, my dear young gentleman, your +head should be turned, and you should begin to make yourself +agreeable again, and spoil all.' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother agreeable; _I_ say now, as you did,' cried Franz, +laughing. 'No, no, my good friend, I'm not going to make myself +agreeable any more. I know better than that at last!' + +"'Then your fortune's safe as well as made!' was the waiter's last +remark, as he was about to withdraw: but Franz followed him to the +door. + +"'I found out a rather curious thing this evening, do you know!' + +"'And that was?--' inquired his humble friend. + +"'Why, that I was sitting all the time in that very attitude my +mother recommended--with my head a little down, you know--so that I +really don't think they noticed my snub.' + +"The waiter got as far as, 'Oh, pooh!' but Franz was nervous, and +interrupted him. + +"'Yes--yes! I don't believe there's anything in it myself; but it +will be a comfort to my mother to think it was her advice that made +my fortune, which she will do when I tell her that!' + +"'Ah!--the ladies will be romantic now and then!' exclaimed the +waiter, with a flourish of his hand, 'and you must trim the comfort +to a person's taste.' + +"And in due time," pursued Aunt Judy, "that was exactly what Mr. +Franz did. Strictly adhering to his father's rule, and encouraged by +its capital success that first night, he got so out of the habit of +being pert, and foolish, and inconsiderate, that he ended by never +having any wish to be so; so that he really became what the old +partner had imagined him to be at first. It was a great restraint +for some time, but his modest manners fitted him at last as easy as +an old shoe, and he was welcome at every house, because he was NEVER +IN THE WAY, and always knew when to retire! + +"It was a jovial day for Papa and Mamma's Watchmaker when, two years +afterwards, Mr. Franz returned home, a partner in the old partner's +prosperous business, and with the smiling Jacintha for his bride. + +"And then, in telling his mother of that first evening of his good +fortune, he did not forget to mention that he had hung down his head +all the time, as she had advised; and, just as he expected, she +jumped up in the most extravagant delight. + +"'I knew how it would be all along!' cried she; 'I told you so! I +knew if you could only hide that terrible snub all would be well; and +I'm sure our pretty Jacintha wouldn't have looked your way if you +hadn't! See, now! you have to thank your mother for it all!' + +"Franz was quite happy himself, so he smiled, and let his mother be +happy her way too; but he opened his heart of hearts to poor old- +fashioned papa, and told him--well, in fact, all his follies and +mistakes, and their cure. And if mamma was happy in her bit of +comfort, papa was not less so in his, for there is not a more +delightful thing in the world than for father and son to understand +each other as friends; and old Franz would sometimes walk up and down +in his room, listening to the cheerful young voices up-stairs, and +say to himself, that if Mother Franz--good soul as she was--did not +always quite enter into his feelings, it was his comfort to be +blessed with a son who did!" + +* * * + +What a long story it had been! Aunt Judy was actually tired out when +she got to the end, and could not talk about it, but the little ones +did till they arrived at the station, and had to get out. + +And in the evening, when they were all sitting together before they +went to bed, there was no small discussion about the story of Mr. +Franz, and how people were to know what was really good manners--when +to come forward, and when to hold back--and the children were a +little startled at first, when their mother told them that the best +rules for good manners were to be found in the Bible. + +But when she reminded them of that text, "When thou art bidden, go +and sit down in the lowest room," &c. they saw in those words a very +serious reason for not pushing forward into the best place in +company. And when they recollected that every man was to do to +others as he wished others to do to him, it became clear to them that +it was the duty of all people to study their neighbours' comfort and +pleasure as well as their own; and it was no hard matter to show how +this rule applied to all the little ins and outs of every-day life, +whether at home, or in society. And there were plenty of other +texts, ordering deference to elders, and the modesty which arises out +of that humility of spirit which "vaunteth not itself," and "is not +puffed up." There was, moreover, the comfortable promise, that "the +meek" should "inherit the earth." + +Of course, it was difficult to the little ones, just at first, to see +how such very serious words could apply to anybody's manners, and +especially to their own. + +But it was a difficulty which mamma, with a little explanation, got +over very easily; and before the little ones went to bed, they quite +understood that in restraining themselves from teazing and being +troublesome, they were not only not being "tiresome," but were +actually obeying several Gospel rules. + + + +"NOTHING TO DO." + + + +"Had I a little son, I would christen him NOTHING-TO-DO." +CHARLES LAMB. + +There is a complaint which is not to be found in the doctor's books, +but which is, nevertheless, such a common and troublesome one, that +one heartily wishes some physic could be discovered which would cure +it. + +It may be called the NOTHING-TO-DO complaint. + +Even quite little children are subject to it, but they never have it +badly. Parents and nurses have only to give them something to do, or +tell them of something to do, and the thing is put right. A puzzle +or a picture-book relieves the attack at once. + +But after the children have out-grown puzzles, and picture-books, and +nurses, and when even a parent's advice is received with a little +impatience, then the NOTHING-TO-DO complaint, if it seizes them at +all, is a serious disease, and often very difficult to cure; and, if +not cured, alas! then follows the melancholy spectacle of grown-up +men and women, who are a plague to their friends, and a weariness to +themselves; because, living under the notion that there is NOTHING +for them TO DO, they want everybody else to do something to amuse +them. + +Anyone can laugh at the old story of the gentleman who got into such +a fanciful state of mind--hypochondriacal, it is called--that he +thought he was his own umbrella; and so, on coming in from a walk, +would go and lay IT in the easy-chair by the fire, while he himself +went and leant up against the wall in a corner of the hall. + +But this gentleman was not a bit more fanciful and absurd than the +people, whether young or old, who look out of windows on rainy days +and groan because there is NOTHING TO DO; when, in reality, there is +so much for everybody to do, that most people leave half their share +undone. + +The oddest part of the complaint is, that it generally comes on worst +in those who from being comfortably off in the world, and from having +had a great deal of education, have such a variety of things to do, +that one would fancy they could never be at a loss for a choice. + +But these are the very people who are most afflicted. It is always +the young people who have books, and leisure, and music, and drawing, +and gardens, and pleasure-grounds, and villagers to be kind to, who +lounge to the rain-bespattered windows on a dull morning, and groan +because there is NOTHING TO DO. + +In justice to girls in general, it should be here mentioned, that +they are on the whole less liable to the complaint than the young +lords of the creation, who are supposed to be their superiors in +sense. Philosophers may excuse this as they please, but the fact +remains, that there are few large families in England, whose +sisterhoods have not at times been teazed half out of their wits, by +the growlings of its young gentlemen, during paroxysms of the +NOTHING-TO-DO complaint; growling being one of its most +characteristic symptoms. + +Perhaps among all the suffering sisterhoods it would have been +difficult to find a young lady less liable to catch such a disorder +herself, than Aunt Judy; and perhaps that was the reason why she used +to do such tremendous battle with No. 3, whenever, after his return +from school for the holidays, he happened to have an attack. + +"What are you groaning at through the window, No. 3?" she inquired on +one such occasion; "is it raining?" + +A very gruff-sounding "No," was the answer--No. 3 not condescending +to turn round as he spoke. He proceeded, however, to state that it +had rained when he got up, and he supposed it would rain again as a +matter-of-course, (for his especial annoyance being implied,) and he +concluded:- + +"It's so horribly 'slow' here, with nothing to do." + +No. 6, who was sitting opposite Aunt Judy, doing a French exercise, +here looked up at her sister, and perceiving a smile steal over her +face, took upon herself to think her brother's remark very +ridiculous, so, said she, with a saucy giggle:- + +"I can find you plenty to do, No. 3, in a minute. Come and write my +French exercise for me. + +No. 3 turned sharply round at this, with a frown on his face which by +no means added to its beauty, and called out:- + +"Now, Miss Pert, I recommend you to hold your tongue. I don't want +any advice from a conceited little minx like you." + +Miss Pert was extinguished at once, and set to work at the French +exercise again most industriously, and a general silence ensued. + +But people in the nothing-to-do complaint are never quiet for long. +Teazing is quite as constant a symptom of it, as growling, so No. 3 +soon came lounging from the window to the table, and began:- + +"I say, Judy, I wish you would put those tiresome books, and +drawings, and rubbish away, and I think of something to do." + +"But it's the books, and the drawings, and the rubbish that give me +something to do," cried Aunt Judy. "You surely don't expect me to +give them up, and go arm and arm with you round the house, bemoaning +the slowness of our fate which gives us nothing to do. Or shall we? +Come, I don't care; I will if you like. But which shall we complain +to first, mamma, or the maids?" + +While she was saying this, Aunt Judy shut up her drawing book, jumped +up from her chair, drew No. 3's arm under her own, and repeated:- + +"Come! which? mamma, or the maids?" while Miss Pert opposite was +labouring with all her might to smother the laugh she dared not +indulge in. + +But No. 3 pushed Aunt Judy testily away. + +"'Nonsense, Judy! what has that to do with it? It's all very well +for you girls--now, Miss Pert, mind your own affairs, and don't stare +at me!--to amuse yourself with all manner of--" + +"Follies, of course," cried Aunt Judy, laughing, "don't be afraid of +speaking out, No. 3. It's all very well for us girls to amuse +ourselves with all manner of follies, and nonsense, and rubbish;" +here Aunt Judy chucked the drawing-book to the end of the table, +tossed a dictionary after it, and threw another book or two into the +air, catching them as they came down. + +"--while you, superior, sensible young man that you are, born to be +the comfort of your family--" + +"Be quiet!" interrupted No. 3, trying to stop her; but she ran round +the table and proceeded:- + +"--and the enlightener of mankind; can't--no, no, No. 3, I won't be +stopt!--can't amuse yourself with anything, because everything is so +'horribly slow, there's nothing to do,' so you want to tie yourself +to your foolish sister's apron string." + +"It's too bad!" shouted No. 3; and a race round the table began +between them, but Aunt Judy dodged far too cleverly to be caught, so +it ended in their resting at opposite ends; No. 6 and her French +exercises lying between them. + +"No. 6, my dear," cried Aunt Judy, in the lull of exertion, "I +proclaim a holiday from folly and rubbish. Put your books away, and +put your impertinence away too. Hold your tongue, and don't be Miss +Pest; and vanish as soon as you can." + +Miss Pert performed two or three putting-away evolutions with the +velocity of a sunbeam, and darted off through the door. + +"Now, then, we'll be reasonable," observed Aunt Judy; and carrying a +chair to the front of the fire she sat down, and motioned to No. 3 to +do the same, taking out from her pocket a little bit of embroidery +work, which she kept ready for chatting hours. + +No. 3 was always willing to listen to Aunt Judy. + +He desired nothing better than to get her undivided attention, and +pour out his groans in her ear; so he sat down with a very good +grace, and proceeded to insist that there never was anything so +"slow" as "it was." + +Aunt Judy wanted to know what IT was; the place or the people, +(including herself,) or what? + +No. 3 could explain it no other way than by declaring that EVERYTHING +was slow; there was nothing to do. + +Aunt Judy maintained that there was plenty to do. + +Whereupon No. 3 said:- + +"But nothing WORTH doing." + +Whereupon Aunt Judy told No. 3 that he was just like Dr. Faustus. On +which, of course, No. 3 wanted to know what Dr. Faustus was like, and +Aunt Judy answered, that he was just like HIM, only a great deal +older and very learned. + +"Only quite different, then," suggested No. 3. + +"No," said Aunt Judy, "not QUITE different, for he came one day to +the same conclusion that you have done, namely, that there was +nothing to do, worth doing in the world." + +"_I_ don't say the world, I only say here," observed No. 3; "there's +plenty to do elsewhere, I dare say." + +"So you think, because you have not tried else where," answered Aunt +Judy. "But Dr. Faustus, who had tried elsewhere, thought everywhere +alike, and declared there was nothing worth doing anywhere, although +he had studied law, physic, divinity, and philosophy all through, and +knew pretty nearly everything." + +"Then you see he did not get much good out of learning," remarked No. +3. + +"I do see," was the reply. + +"And what became of him?" + +"Ah, that's the point," replied Aunt Judy, "and a very remarkable +point too. As soon as he got into the state of fancying there was +nothing to do, worth doing, in God's world, the evil spirit came to +him, and found him something to do in what I may, I am sure, call the +devil's world--I mean, wickedness." + +"Oh, that's a story written upon Watts's old hymn," exclaimed No. 3, +contemptuously:- + + +"'For Satan finds some mischief still, +For idle hands to do.' + + +Judy! I call that a regular 'SELL.'" + +" Not a bit of it," cried Aunt Judy, warmly; "I don't suppose the man +who wrote the story ever saw Watts's hymns, or intended to teach +anything half as good. It's mamma's moral. She told me she had +screwed it out of the story, though she doubted whether it was meant +to be there." + +"And what's the rest of the story then?" inquired No. 3, whose +curiosity was aroused. + +"Well! when the old Doctor found the world as it was, so 'SLOW,' as +you very unmeaningly call it, he took to conjuring and talking with +evil spirits by way of amusement; and then they easily persuaded him +to be wicked, merely because it gave him something fresh and exciting +to do." + +"Watts's hymn again! I told you so!" exclaimed No. 3. "But the +story's all nonsense from beginning to end. Nobody can conjure, or +talk to evil spirits in reality, so the whole thing is impossible; +and where you find the moral, I don't know." + +No. 3 leant back and yawned as he concluded. + +He was rather disappointed that nothing more entertaining had come +out of the story of Dr. Faustus. + +But Aunt Judy had by no means done. + +"Impossible about conjuring and actually TALKING to evil spirits, +certainly," said she; "but spiritual influences, both bad and good, +come to us all, No. 3, without bodily communion; so for those who are +inclined to feel like Dr. Faustus, there is both a moral and a +warning in his fate." + +"I don't know what about," cried No. 3. "I think he was uncommonly +stupid, after all he had learnt, to get into such a mess. Why, you +yourself are always trying to make out that the more people labour +and learn, the more sure they are to keep out of mischief. Now then, +how do you account for the story of your friend Dr. Faustus?" + +"Because, like King Solomon, he did not labour and learn in a right +spirit, or to a right end," replied Aunt Judy. "Lord Bacon remarks +that when, after the Creation, God 'looked upon everything He had +made, behold it was VERY GOOD;' whereas when man 'turned him about,' +and took a view of the world and his own labours in it, he found that +'all' was 'vanity and vexation of spirit.' Why did he come to such a +different conclusion, do you think?" + +"I suppose because the world had got bad, before King Solomon's +time," suggested No. 3. + +"Its inhabitants had," replied Aunt Judy. "They had become subject +to sin and misery; but the world was still God's creation, and proofs +of the 'very good' which He had pronounced over it were to be found +in every direction, and even in fallen man, if Solomon had had the +sense, or rather I should say, good feeling to look for them. Ah! +No. 3, there was plenty to be learnt and done that would NOT have +ended in 'vanity and vexation of spirit' if Solomon had LEARNT in +order to trace out the glory of God, instead of establishing his own; +and if he had WORKED to create, as far as was in his power, a world +of happiness for other people, instead of seeking nothing but his own +amusement. If he had worked in the spirit of God, in short." + +"But who can?--Nobody," exclaimed No. 3. + +"Yes, everybody, who tries, can, to a certain extent," said Aunt +Judy. "It only wants the right feeling; some of the good God-like +feeling which originated the creation of a beautiful world, and +caused the contemplation of it to produce the sublime complacency +which is described, 'And God looked upon everything that He had made, +and behold it was very good.'" + +"It's a sermon, Judy," cried No. 3, half bored, yet half amused at +the notion of her preaching; "I'll set up a pulpit for you at once, +shall I?" + +"No, no, be quiet, No. 3," exclaimed Aunt Judy, "I wish you would try +and understand what I say!" + +"Well, then," said No. 3, "it appears to me that do what one might +now the world has grown bad, it would be impossible to pronounce that +'VERY GOOD,' as the result of one's work. There would always be +something miserable and unsatisfactory at the end of everything; I +mean even if one really was to look into things closely, and work for +other people's good, as you say." + +"There might be SOMETHING miserable and unsatisfactory, in the +result, certainly," answered Aunt Judy; "but that it would ALL be +'vanity and vexation of spirit' I deny. Our blessed Saviour came +into the world after it had grown bad, remember; and He worked solely +for the restoration of the 'very good,' which sin had defaced. It +was undoubtedly MISERABLE and UNSATISFACTORY that He should be +rejected by the very creatures He came to help; but when He uttered +the words 'It is finished,' the work which He had accomplished, He +might well have looked upon and called very good: very very good; +even beyond the creation, were that possible." + +"There can be no comparison between our Saviour and us," murmured No. +3. + +"No," replied his sister; "but only let people work in the same +direction, and they will have more 'profit' of their 'labour,' than +King Solomon ever owned to, who had, one fears, only learnt, in order +to be learned, and worked, to please himself. No man who employs +himself in tracing out God's footsteps IN the world, or in working in +God's spirit FOR the world, will ever find such labours end in +'vanity and vexation of spirit!' Solomon, Dr. Faustus, and the +grumblers, have only themselves to thank for their disappointment." + +"It's very curious," observed No. 3, getting up, and stretching +himself over the fire, "I mean about Solomon and Dr. Faustus. But +what can one do? What can you or I do? It's absurd to be fancying +one can do good to one's fellow-creatures." + +"Nevertheless, there is one I want you to do good to, at the present +moment," said Aunt Judy--"if it is not actually raining. Don't you +remember what despair No. 1 was in this morning, when father sent her +off on the pony in such a hurry." + +"Ah, that pony! That was just what I wanted myself," interrupted No. +3. + +"Exactly, of course," replied Aunt Judy. "But you were not the +messenger father wanted, so do not let us go all over that ground +again, pray. The fact was, No. 1 had just heard that her pet 'Tawny +Rachel' was very ill, and she wanted to go and see her, and give her +some good advice, and I am to go instead. Now No. 3, suppose you go +instead of me, and save me a wet walk?" + +No. 3, of course, began by protesting that it was not possible that +he could do any good to an old woman. Old women were not at all in +his way. He could only say, how do you do? and come away. + +Aunt Judy disputed this: she thought he could offer her some +creature comforts, and ask whether she had seen the Doctor, and what +he said, as No. 1 particularly wished to know. + +What an idea! No, no; he must decline inquiring what the Doctor +said; it would be absurd; but he could offer her something to eat. + +- And just ask if she had had the Doctor.--Well, just that, and come +away. It would not occupy many minutes. But he wished, while Aunt +Judy was about it, she had found him something rather LONGER to do! + +Aunt Judy promised to see what could be devised on his return, and +No. 3 departed. And a very happily chosen errand it was; for it +happened in this case, as it so constantly does happen, that what was +begun for other people's sake, ended in personal gratification. No. +3 went to see "Tawny Rachel," out of good-natured compliance with +Aunt Judy's request, but found an interest and amusement in the visit +itself, which he had not in the least expected. + +Ten, twenty, thirty, minutes elapsed, and he had not returned; and +when he did so at last, he burst into the house far more like an +avalanche than a young gentleman who could find "nothing to do." + +Coming in the back way, he ran into the kitchen, and told the +servants to get some hot water ready directly, for he was sure +something would be wanted. Then, passing forward, he shouted to know +where his mother was, and, having found her, entreated she would +order some comfortable, gruelly stuff or other, to be made for the +sick old woman, particularly insisting that it should have ale or +wine, as well as spice and sugar in it. + +He was positive that that was just what she ought to have! She had +said how cold she was, and how glad she should be of something to +warm her inside; and there was nobody to do anything for her at home. +What a shame it was for a poor old creature like that to be left with +only two dirty boys to look after her, and they always at play in the +street! Her daughter and husband were working out, and she sat +moaning over the fire, from pain, without anybody to care! + +* * * + +Tender-hearted and impulsive, if thoughtless, the spirit of No. 3 had +been moved within him at the spectacle of the gaunt old woman in this +hour of her lonely suffering. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" The children had called her so, from the +heroine of Mrs. Hannah More's tale, because of those dark gipsy eyes +of hers, which had formerly given such a fine expression to her +handsome but melancholy face. Melancholy, because care-worn from the +long life's struggle for daily bread, for a large indulged family, +who scarcely knew, at the day of her death, that she had worn herself +out for their sakes. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" She was one day asked by a well-meaning +shopkeeper, of whom she had purchased a few goods, WHERE SHE THOUGHT +SHE WAS GOING TO?" + +"Tawny Rachel" turned her sad eyes upon her interrogator, and made +answer:- + +"Going to? why where do you think I'm going to, but to Heaven?-- +'Deed! where do you think I'm going to, but to Heaven?" she repeated +to herself slowly, as if to recover breath; and then added, "I should +like to know who Heaven is for, if not for such as me, that have +slaved all their lives through, for other folk;" and so saying, Tawny +Rachel turned round again, and went away. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" The theology was imperfect enough; but so had +been her education and advantages. Yet as surely as her scrupulous, +never-failing honesty, and unmurmuring self-denial, must have been +inspired by something beyond human teaching; so surely did it prove +no difficult task to her spiritual guide, to lead her onwards to +those simple verities of the Christian Faith, which, in her case, +seemed to solve the riddle of a weary, unsatisfactory life, and, +confiding in which, the approach of death really became to her, the +advent of the Prince of Peace. + +* * * + +"But she had quite cheered up," remarked No. 3, "at the notion of +something comforting and good," and so--he had "come off at once." + +"At once!"--the exclamation came from Aunt Judy, who had entered the +room, and was listening to the account. "Why, No. 3, you must have +been there an hour at least. And nevertheless I dare say you have +forgotten about the Doctor." + +"The Doctor!" cried No. 3, laughing,--"It's the Doctor who has kept +me all this time. You never heard such fun in your life,--only he's +an awful old rascal, I must say!" + +Mamma and Aunt Judy gazed at No. 3 in bewilderment. The respectable +old village practitioner, who had superintended all the deceases in +the place for nearly half a century--to be called "an awful old +rascal" at last! What could No. 3 be thinking of? + +Certainly not of the respectable village practitioner, as he soon +explained, by describing the arrival at Tawny Rachel's cottage of a +travelling quack with a long white beard. + +"My dear No. 3!" exclaimed mamma. + +"Mother, dear, I can't help it!" cried No. 3, and proceeded to relate +that while he was sitting with the old woman, listening to the +account of her aches and pains, some one looked in at the door, and +asked if she wanted anything; but, before she could speak, remarked +how ill she seemed, and said he could give her something to do her +good. "Judy!" added No. 3, breaking suddenly off; "he looked just +like Dr. Faustus, I'm sure!" + +"Never mind about that," cried Aunt Judy. "Tell us what Tawny Rachel +said." + +"Oh, she called out that he MUST GIVE it, if she was to have it, for +she had nothing to pay for it with. I had a shilling in my pocket, +and was just going to offer it, when I recollected he would most +likely do her more harm than good. But the gentleman with the white +beard walked in immediately, set his pack down on the table, and +said, 'Then, my good woman, I SHALL give it you;' and out he brought +a bottle, tasted it before he gave it to her, and promised her that +it would cure her if she took it all." + +"My dear No. 3!" repeated mamma once more. + +"Yes, I know she can't be cured, mother, and I think she knows it +too; but still she 'TOOK IT VERY KIND,' as she called it, of him, and +asked him if he would like to 'rest him' a bit by the fire, and the +gentleman accepted the invitation; and there we all three sat, for +really I quite enjoyed seeing him, and he began to warm his hands, +remarking that the young gentleman--that was I, you know--looked very +well. Oh, Judy, I very nearly said 'Thank you, Dr. Faustus,' but I +only laughed and nodded, and really did hold my tongue; and then the +two began to talk, and it was as good as any story you ever invented, +Aunt Judy. Tawny Rachel was very inquisitive, and asked him:- + +"'You've come a long way, sir, I suppose?' + +"'Yes, ma'am; I'm a great traveller, and have been so a many years.' + +"'It's a wonder you have not settled before now.' + +"'I might have settled, ma'am, a many times.' + +"'Ah, when folks once begin wandering, they can't settle down. You +were, maybe, brought up to it.' + +"'I was brought up to something a deal better than that, ma'am.' + +"'You was, sir? It's a pity, I'm sure.' + +"'My father was physician to Queen Elizabeth, ma'am, a many years.'" + +When No. 3 arrived at this point of the dialogue, mamma and Aunt Judy +both exclaimed at once, and the former repeated once more the +expostulatory "My dear No. 3!" which delighted No. 3, who proceeded +to assure them that he had himself interrupted the travelling quack +here, by suggesting that it was Queen Charlotte he meant. + +"Old Queen Charlotte, you know, Judy, that No. 1 was telling the +children about the other day." + +But the "gentleman," as No. 3 called him, had turned very red at the +doubt thus thrown on his accuracy, and put a rather threatening croak +into his voice, as he said:- + +"Asking your pardon, young gentleman, I know what I'm saying, and it +was Queen Elizabeth, and not Charlotte nor anybody else!" + +No. 3 described that he felt it best, after this, to hold his tongue +and say no more, so Tawny Rachel put in her word, and remarked, it +was a wonder the queen hadn't made their fortunes; on which the +gentleman turned rather red again, and said that the queen did make +their fortune, but wouldn't let them keep it, for fear they should be +too great and too rich--that was it! This statement required a +little explanation, but the gentleman was ready with all particulars. +The queen used to pay his father by hundreds of pounds at a time, +because that was due to him, but being jealous of his having so much +money, she always set some one to take it away from him as he left +the place! So that was the reason why these was no fortune put by +for him after his father died, and that was the reason why he +couldn't very well settle at first, though everybody wished him to +stay, and SO he took to travelling; for his father had left him all +his secrets, and he was qualified to practise anywhere, and had cured +some thousands of sick folks up and down! + +No. 3 declared that he had not made the old man's account of himself +a bit more unconnected than it really was, and, on the whole, it +sounded very imposing to poor Tawny Rachel, who watched his departure +with a sort of respectful awe. + +No. 3 added, that not liking to disturb her faith either in the man +or the bottle, he had himself helped her to the first dose, and had +then begun to talk about the creature comforts before described, the +very mention of which seemed to cheer the old lady's heart, and to +interest her at least as much as the biography of the travelling +quack. + +"So now, mother," concluded he, "order the gruel, and we'll give +three cheers for Queen Elizabeth, and Dr. Faustus--eh, Judy? But I +do think the poor old thing ought not to take that man's poisonous +rubbish; so here's my shilling, and welcome, if you'll give some +more, and let us send for a real doctor." + +The "nothing-to-do" morning had nearly slipped away, between the +conversation with Aunt Judy, and the visit to Tawny Rachel; and when, +soon after, a friend called to take No. 3 off on a fossil hunt, and +he had to snatch a hasty morsel before his departure, he declared he +was like the poor governess in the song, who was sure to + + + "Find out, +With attention and zeal, +That she'd scarcely have time +To partake of a meal," + + +there was so much to do. "But you're a capital fellow, Judy," he +added, kissing her, "and you'll tell me a story when I come back;" +and off he ran, shutting his ears to Aunt Judy's declaration that she +only told stories to the "little ones." + +Nor would she, on his return, and during the cozy evening "nothing- +to-do" hour, consent to devote herself to his especial amusement +only. So, after arguing the point for a time, he very wisely +yielded, and declared at last that he would be a "little one" too, +and listen to a "little one's" story, if Aunt Judy would tell one. + +It was rather late when this was settled, and the little ones had +stayed up-stairs to play at a newly-invented game--bazaars--in the +nursery; but when No. 3 strode in with the announcement of the story, +there was a shout of delight, followed by the old noisy rush down- +stairs to the dining-room. + +It is not a bad thing to be a "little one" now and then in spirit. +People would do well to try and be so oftener. Who that has looked +upon a picture of himself as a "little one," has not wished that he +could be restored to the "little one's" spirit, the "little one's" +innocence, the "little one's" hopeful trust? "Of such is the kingdom +of Heaven!" And though none of us would like to live our lives over +again, lest our errors should be repeated, and so doubled in guilt, +all of us, at the sight of what we once were, would fain, very fain, +if we could, lie down to sleep, and awake a "little one" again. +Never, perhaps, is the sweet mercy of an early death brought so +closely home to our apprehension, as when the grown-up, care-worn man +looks upon the image of himself as a child. + +Happily, however--nay, more than happily, MERCIFULLY--the grown-up +man, if he do but put on the humility, may gain something of the +peace of a "little one's" heart! + +Aunt Judy had twisted up a roll of muslin for a turban on her head by +the time they came down, "for," said she, "this is to be an eastern +tale, and I shall not be inspired--that is to say, I shall not get on +a bit--unless there is a costume and manners to correspond, so you +three little ones squat yourselves down Turkish-fashion on the floor, +with your legs tucked under you. There now! that's something like, +and I begin to feel myself in the East. Nevertheless, I am rather +glad there is no critical Eastern traveller at hand, listening +through the key-hole to my blunders. + +However, errors excepted, here is the wonderful story of + + +'THE KING OF THE HILLS AND HIS FOUR SONS.' + + +"A great many years ago, in a country which cannot be traced upon the +maps, but which lies somewhere between the great rivers Indus and +Euphrates, lived Schelim, King of the Hills. + +"His riches were unlimited, his palaces magnificent, and his dresses +and jewels of the most costly description. He never condescended to +wear a diamond unless it was inconveniently large for his fingers, +and the fiery opals which adorned his turban (like those in the +mineral-room at the British Museum) shimmered and blazed in such a +surprising manner, that people were obliged to lower their eyes +before the light of them. + +"Powerful as well as rich, King Schelim could have anything in the +world he wished for, but--such is the perversity of human nature--he +cared very little for anything except smoking his pipe; of which, to +say the truth, he was so fond, that he would have been well contented +to have done nothing else all day long. It seemed to him the nearest +approach to the sublimest of all ideas of human happiness--the having +NOTHING TO DO. + +"He caused his four sons to be brought up in luxurious ease, his wish +for them being, that they should remain ignorant of pain and sorrow +for as long a period of their lives as was possible. So he built a +palace for them, at the summit of one of his beautiful hills, where +nothing disagreeable or distressing could ever meet their eyes, and +he gave orders to their attendants, that they should never be +thwarted in anything. + +"Every wish of their hearts, therefore, was gratified from their baby +days; but so far from being in consequence the happiest, they were +the most discontented children in his dominions. + +"From the first year of their birth, King Schelim had never been able +to smoke his pipe in peace. There were always messages coming from +the royal nursery to the smoking-room, asking for something fresh for +the four young princes, who were, owing to some mysterious cause, +incapable of enjoying any of their luxurious indulgences for more +than a few hours together. + +"At first these incessant demands for one thing or another for the +children, surprised and annoyed their papa considerably, but by +degrees he got used to it, and took the arrival of the messengers as +a matter of course. + +"The very nurses began it:- + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--are tired of +their jewelled rattles, and have thrown them on the floor. Doubtless +they would like India-rubber rings with bells better.' + +"'Then get them India-rubber rings with bells,' was all King Schelim +said, and turned to his pipe again. + +"And so it went on perpetually, until one day it came to, - + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--have thrown +their hobbyhorses into the river, and want to have live ponies +instead.' + +"At the first moment the king gave his usual answer, 'Then get them +live ponies instead,' from a sort of mechanical habit, but the words +were scarcely uttered when he recalled them. This request awoke even +his sleepy soul out of its smoke-dream, and inquiring into the ages +of his sons, and finding that they were of years to learn as well as +to ride, he dismissed their nurses, placed them in the hands of +tutors, and procured for them the best masters of every description. + +"'For,' said he, 'what saith the proverb? "Kings govern the earth, +but wise men govern kings." My sons shall be wise as well as kingly, +and then they can govern themselves.' + +"And after settling this so cleverly, King Schelim resumed his pipe, +in the confident hope, that now, at last, he should smoke it in +peace. + +"'For,' said he, 'when my sons shall become wise through learning, +they will be more moderate in their desires.' + +"I do not know whether his Majesty's incomparable sons relished this +change from nurses to tutors, but on that particular point they were +allowed no choice; so if they bemoaned themselves in their palace on +the hill, their father knew nothing of it. + +"And to soften the disagreeableness of the restraint which learning +imposes, King Schelim gave more strict orders than ever, that, +provided the young gentlemen only learnt their lessons well, every +whim that came into their heads should be complied with soon as +expressed. + +"In spite of all his ingenious arrangements, however, the royal +father did not enjoy the amount of repose he expected. All was quiet +enough during lesson-hours, it is true; but as soon as ever that +period had elapsed, the young princes became as restless as ever. +Nay--the older they grew, the more they wanted, and the less pleased +they became with what was granted. + +"From very early days of the tutorship, the old story began:- + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--are tired of +their ponies, and want horses instead.' + +"The king was a little disappointed at this, and actually laid down +his pipe to talk. + +"'Is anything the matter with the ponies?' he asked. + +"'May it please your Majesty, no; only that your incomparable sons +call them SLOW.' + +"'Spirited lads!' thought the king, quite consoled, and gave the +answer as usual:- + +"'Then get them horses instead.' But when only a few days afterwards +he was informed that his incomparable sons had wearied of their +horses, because they also were 'slow,' and wished to ride on +elephants instead, his Majesty began to feel disturbed in mind, and +wonder what would come next, and how it was that the teaching of the +tutors did not make his sons more moderate in their desires. + +"'Nevertheless,' said he, 'what saith the proverb, "Thou a man, and +lackest patience?" And again, + + +"Early ripe, early rotten, +Early wise, soon forgotten." + + +My sons are but children yet.' + +"After which reflection he returned to his pipe as before, and +disturbed himself as little as possible, when messenger after +messenger arrived, to announce the fresh vagaries of the young +princes. + +"It is impossible to enumerate all the luxuries, amusements, and +delights, they asked for, obtained, and wearied of during several +years. But the longer it went on, the more hardened and indifferent +their father became. + +"'For,' said he, 'what saith the proverb? "The longest lane turns at +last." At last my sons will have everything man can wish for, and +then they will cease from asking, and I shall smoke my pipe in +peace.' + +"One day, however, the messenger entered the royal smoking-room in a +greater hurry than ever, and was about to commence his usual +elaborate peroration respecting the incomparable sons, when his +Majesty held up his hand to stop him, and called out:- + +"'What is it now?' + +"'May it please your Majesty, your Majesty's in--' + +"'What is it they WANT?' cried the king, interrupting him. + +"'May it please your Majesty, SOMETHING TO DO.' + +"'Something to do?' repeated the perplexed king of the hills; +'something to do, when half the riches of my empire have been +expended upon providing them with the means of doing everything in +the world that was delightful to the soul of man? + +"'Surely, oh son of a dog, thou art laughing at my beard, to come to +me with such a message from my sons.' + +"'Nevertheless, may it please your Majesty, I have spoken but the +truth. Your Majesty's in--' + +"'Hush with that nonsense,' interrupted the king. + +"'Your Majesty's sons, in fact, then, have sickened and pined for +three mortal days, because they have got NOTHING TO DO.' + +"'Now, then, my sons are mad!' exclaimed poor King Schelim, laying +down his pipe, and rising from his recumbent position; 'and it is +time that I bestir myself.' + +"And thereupon he summoned his attendants, and sent for the royal +Hakim, that is to say, physician; and the most learned and +experienced Dervish, that is to say, religious teacher of the +neighbourhood. + +"'For,' said he, 'who knows whether this sickness is of the body or +the soul?' + +"And having explained to them how he had brought up his children, the +indulgences with which he had surrounded them, the learning which he +had had instilled into them, and the way in which he had preserved +them from every annoying sight and sound, he concluded:- + +"'What more could I have done for the happiness of my children than I +have done, and how is it that their reason has departed from them, so +that they are at a loss for something to do? Speak one or other of +you and explain.' + +"Then the Dervish stepped forward, and opening his mouth, began to +make answer. + +"'And,' said he, 'oh King of the Hills, in the bringing up of thy +sons, surely thou hast forgotten the proverb which saith, "He that +would know good manners, let him learn them from him who hath them +not." For even so may the wise man say of happiness, "He that would +know he is happy, must learn it from him who is not." But again, +doth not another proverb say, "Will thy candle burn less brightly for +lighting mine?" Wherefore the happiness which a man has, when he has +discovered it, he is bound to impart to those that have it not. Have +I spoken well?' + +"Then King and the Hakim declared he had spoken remarkably well; +nevertheless I am by no means sure that King Schelim knew what he +meant. Whereupon the Dervish offered to go at once to the four +incomparable princes, and cure them of their madness in supposing +they had nothing to do, and King Schelim in great delight, and +thoroughly glad to be rid of the trouble, told him that he placed his +sons entirely in his hands; then taking him aside, he addressed to +him a parting word in confidence. + +"'Thou knowest, oh wise Dervish, that I have had no education myself, +and therefore, as the proverb hath it, "To say I DON'T KNOW, is the +comfort of my life," yet what better is a learned man than a fool, if +he comes but to this conclusion at last? See thou restore wisdom and +something to do to the souls of my sons.' + +"Which the Dervish promised to accomplish, accordingly in company +with the Hakim, he betook himself to the palace of the four princes, +his Majesty's incomparable sons. + +"Well, in spite of all they had heard, both the Dervish and Hakim +were surprised at what they really found at the palace of the four +princes. + +"It was as if everything that human ingenuity could devise for the +gratification, amusement, and occupation both of body and mind had +been here brought together. Horses, elephants, chariots, creatures +of every description, for hunting, riding, driving, and all sorts of +sport were there, countless in numbers, and perfect in kind. +Gardens, pleasure-grounds, woods, flowers, birds, and fountains, to +delight the eye and ear; while within the palace were sources of +still deeper enjoyment. The songs of the poets and the wisdom of the +ancients reposed there upon golden shelves. Musicians held +themselves in readiness to pour exquisite melodies upon the air; +games, exercises, in-door sports in every variety could be commanded +in a moment, and attendants waited in all directions to fulfil their +young masters' will. + +"The poor old Dervish and Hakim looked at each other in fresh +amazement at every step they took, and neither of them could find a +proverb to fit so extraordinary a case. + +"At last, after a long walk through chambers and anti-chambers +without end, hung round with mirrors and ornaments, they reached the +apartment of the young princes, where they found the four +incomparable creatures lounging on four ottomans, sighing their +hearts out, because they had 'nothing to do.' + +"As the door opened, the eldest prince glanced languidly round, and +inquired if the messenger had returned from their father, and being +answered that the Dervish and Hakim, who now stood before him, were +messengers from their father, he called out to know if the old +gentleman had sent them anything to do! + +"'The king, your father's spirit is disturbed with anxiety,' answered +the Dervish, 'lest some sudden calamity should have deprived his sons +of the use of their limbs or their senses, or lest their attendants +should have failed to provide them with everything the earth affords +delightful to the soul of man.' + +"'The king, our father's spirit is disturbed with smoke,' replied the +eldest prince, 'or he never would have sent such an old fellow as you +with such an answer as that. What's the use of the use of one's +limbs, or one's senses, or all the earth affords delightful to the +soul of man, if we're sick of it all? Just go back and tell him +we've got everything, and are sick of everything, and can do +everything, and don't care to do anything, because everything is so +'slow;' so we will trouble him to find us something fresh to do. +There! is that clear enough, old gentleman?' + +"'The king, your father,' answered the Dervish, 'has provided against +even that emergency; I am come to tell you of something fresh to see +and to do.' + +"No sooner had the Dervish uttered these words, than the four princes +jumped up from the ottoman in the most lively and vigorous manner, +and clamoured to know what it was, expressing their hope that it was +a 'jolly lark.' + +"In answer to which the Dervish, lifting himself up in a commanding +manner, stretched out his arm, and exclaimed, in a solemn voice:- + +"'Young men, you have exhausted happiness. Nothing new remains in +the world for you, but misery and want. Follow me!' + +"There was something so unusual about the tone of this address, and +it was uttered in so imposing a manner, that the young princes were, +as it were, taken by storm, and they followed the Dervish and Hakim, +without a word of inquiry or objection. + +"And he led them away from the palace on the beautiful hill--away +from all the sights and sounds that were collected together there to +delight the soul of man with both bodily and intellectual enjoyment-- +down into the city in the valley, among the close-packed habitations +of common men, congregated there to labour, and just exist, and then +die. + +"And presently the Dervish and the Hakim spoke together, and then the +Hakim led the way through a gloomy by-street, till he came to a +habitation into which he entered, and the rest followed without a +word. And there, stretched upon a pallet, wasted and worn with pain, +lay a youth scarcely older than the young princes themselves, the +lower part of whose body was wrapped round with bandages, and who was +unable to move. + +"The Hakim proceeded at once to unloosen the fastenings, and to +examine the limbs of the sufferer. They had been crushed by a +frightful accident, while working for his daily bread, in the +quarries of marble near the palace on the hill. + +"'Is there no hope, my father?' he ejaculated in agony as the bruised +thighs were exposed to the light, revealing a spectacle from which +the princes turned horrified away. + +"But the Dervish stood between them and the door, and motioned them +back. + +"'Is there no hope?' repeated the youth. 'Shall I never again tread +the earth in the freedom of health and strength? never again climb +the mountain-side to taste the sweet breath of heaven? never again +even step across this narrow room, to look forth into the narrow +street?' + +"Sobs of distress here broke from the speaker; and, covering his face +with his hands, he awaited the Hakim's reply. But while the latter +bent down to whisper his answer, the Dervish addressed himself to the +trembling princes:- + + "'Learn here, at last,' said he, 'the value of those limbs, the +power of using which you look upon with such thankless indifference. +As it is with this youth to-day, so may it be with you to-morrow, if +the decree goes forth from on high. Bid me not again return to your +father to tell him you are weary of a blessing, the loss of which +would overwhelm you with despair.' + +"The young princes," continued Aunt Judy, were, as their father had +said, but children yet; that is to say, although they were fourteen +or fifteen years old, they were childish, in not having reflected or +learnt to reason. But they were not hard-hearted at bottom. Their +tenderness for others had never been called out during their life of +self-indulgence, but the sight of this young man's condition, whom +they personally knew as one who had at times been permitted to come +up and join in their games, over-powered them with dismay. + +"They entreated the Hakim to say if nothing could be done, and when +he told them that a nurse, and better food, and the discourse of a +wise companion, were all essential for the recovery of the patient, +there was not, to say the truth, one among them who was not ready +with promises of assistance, and even offers of personal help. + +"And now, bidding adieu to this youthful sufferer, whose distress +seemed to receive a sudden calm from the sympathy the young princes +betrayed, the Hakim led the way to another part of the town, where he +entered a house of rather better description, in a small room of +which they found a pale, middle-aged man, who was engaged in making a +coarse sort of netting for trees. Hearing the noise of the entrance, +he looked up, and asked who it was, but with no change of +countenance, or apparent recognition of anyone there. But as soon as +the Hakim had uttered the words 'It is I,' a gleam of delight stole +over the pale face, and the man, rising from his chair, stretched out +his arms to the Hakim, entreating him to approach. + +"And then the young princes saw that the pale man was blind. + +"'Is there any change, oh Cassian?' inquired the Hakim, kindly. + +"'None, my father,' answered the blind man, in a subdued tone. 'But +shall I murmur at what is appointed? Surely not in vain was the +privilege granted me, of transcribing the manuscripts which repose on +the golden shelves in the palace of the royal princes. Surely not in +vain did I gather, from the treasures of ancient wisdom, and the +divine songs of the poets, sources of consolation for the suffering +children of men.' + +"'And has anyone been of late to read to you?' asked the Hakim. + +"But this inquiry the blind man seemed scarcely able to answer. Big +tears gathered into the sightless eyes, and folding his hands across +his bosom, he murmured out:- + +"'None, oh my father. Not to everyone is it permitted to trace the +characters of light in which the wise have recorded their wisdom. I +alone of my family knew the secret. I alone suffer now. But shall I +not submit to this also with a cheerful spirit? It is written, and +it behoves me to submit.' + +"And, with tears streaming over his cheeks, the blind man took up the +netting which he had laid aside, and forced himself to the work. + +"'Seest thou!' exclaimed the Dervish, turning to the prince who stood +next him, apparently absorbed in contemplating the scene. 'Seest +thou how precious are the powers thou hast wearied of in the spring- +time of life? How dear are the opportunities thou hast not cared to +delight in? Bid me not again return to the king, your father, to +tell him his sons can find no pleasure in blessings, the deprivation +of which they themselves would feel to be the shutting out of the sun +from the soul.' + +"Then the young prince to whom the Dervish addressed himself, wept +bitterly, and begged to be allowed to visit the blind man from time +to time, and read to him out of the manuscripts that reposed on the +golden shelves in the palace on the hill; and which, he now learnt +for the first time, had been transcribed for his use, and that of his +brothers, by the skill of the sufferer before him. + +"And when the blind man clasped his hands over his head, and would +have prostrated himself on the ground, in gratitude to him who spoke, +asking who the charitable pitier of the afflicted could be, the +prince embraced him as if he had been his brother, forced him back +gently into his seat, and bidding him await him at that hour on the +morrow, followed the Hakim from the house. + +"And now the Dervish and Hakim spoke together once again, and the +place they visited next was of a very different description. + +"Enclosed within walls, and limited in extent, because in the +outskirts of a populous town, the garden into which they presently +entered, was--though but as a drop in comparison with the ocean--no +unworthy rival of the gorgeous pleasure-grounds of the palace. +There, too, the roses unfolded themselves in their glory to the sun, +tiny fountains scattered their cooling spray around, and singing- +birds, suspended on overshadowing trees, of this scene of miniature +beauty a venerable was perceived, seated under the shadow of an +arbour, in front of a table on which were scattered manuscripts, +papers, parchments, and dried plants, and in one corner of which were +laid a set of tablets and writing materials. + +"Although the door by which they entered had fallen to, with a noise +as they passed through, the old man did not seem to be aware of it, +nor did he notice their presence until they came so near, that their +shadows fell on some of the papers on the table. Then, indeed, he +looked suddenly up, and with a smile and gesture of delight, bade +them welcome. + +"It was not difficult to divine that the old man had lost the sense +of hearing, and the Dervish, taking up the tablets from the table, +wrote upon them the following words, which he showed to the young +princes, before presenting them to him for whom they were intended:- + +"'Hast thou not wearied yet, oh brother, of thy narrow garden, and +the ever-recurring succession of flowers, and thy study of the +secrets of Nature?' + +"Whereat the deaf man smiled again, and wrote upon the tablets:- + +"'Can anyone weary of tracing out the skilful providence of the +Divine Mind? Is it not a world within a world, oh my brother, and +inexhaustible in itself?' + +"The youngest prince pressed forward to read the answer, and having +read it, turned to the Dervish, and said, 'Ask him why the singing- +birds are suspended in the garden, whose voices he cannot hear.' + +"'Write on the tablet, my son,' said the Dervish; and when he had +written it, the old man answered, in the same manner as before:- + +"'I would remember my infirmity, my son, lest my soul should be tied +to the beauties of the visible world, but now when I see the +twittering bills of the feathered songsters, I remember that one +sense has departed, and that the others must follow; and I prepare +myself for death, trusting that those who have rejoiced in the Divine +Mind--however imperfectly--here, may rejoice yet more hereafter, when +no sense or power shall be wanting!' + +"After this, the venerable old man led them to a secluded corner of +the garden, where his young son was instructing one portion of a +class of children from the secrets of his father's manuscripts, while +another set of youngsters were engaged in cultivating flowers, by +regular instruction and rule. Many a bright, cheerful face looked up +at the old man and his visitors as they passed, but no one seemed to +wish to leave his work, or his lesson, or the kind young tutor who +ruled among them. + +"'We have wasted our lives, oh my father!' exclaimed the young +princes, as they passed from this sight. 'Tell us, may we not come +back again here, to learn true wisdom from this man and his son?' + +"Having obtained the old man's willing consent to his, the Hakim +retiring conducted his companions back into the streets; and the +young princes, whose eyes were now opened to the instruction they +were receiving, came up to the Dervish, and said:- + +"'Oh, wise Dervish, we have learnt the lesson you would teach, and we +know now that it is but a folly, and a mockery, and a lie, when a man +says that he has nothing to do. There is enough to do for all men, +if their minds are directed right! Have I not spoken well?' + +"'Thou hast spoken well according to thy knowledge,' answered the +Dervish, 'but thou hast yet another lesson to learn.' + +"The prince was silenced, and the Dervish and Hakim hurried forward +to a still different part of the city, where several trades were +carried on, and where in one place they came upon an open square, +about which a number of gaunt, wild-looking men, were lounging or +sitting; unoccupied, listless, and sad. + +"'This is wrong, my father, is it not?' inquired one of the princes; +but the Dervish, instead of answering him, addressed a man who was +standing somewhat apart from the others, and inquired why he was +loitering there in idleness, instead of occupying himself in some +honest manner? + +"The man laughed a bitter mocking laugh, and turning to his +companions, shouted out, 'Hear what the wise man asks! When trade +has failed, and no one wants our labour, he asks us why we stand +idling here!' Then, facing the Dervish, he continued, 'Do you not +know, can you not see, oh teacher of the blind, that we have got +NOTHING TO DO?--NOTHING TO DO!' he repeated with a loud cry--'NOTHING +TO DO! with hearts willing to work, and hands able to work,'--(here +he stretched out his bared, muscular arm to the Dervish,)--'and wife +and children calling out for food! Give us SOMETHING TO DO, thou +preacher of virtue and industry,' he concluded, throwing himself on +the ground in anguish; 'or, at any rate, cease to mock us with the +solemn inquiry of a fool.' + +"'Oh, my father, my father,' cried the young princes, pressing +forward, 'this is the worst, the very worst of all! All things can +be borne, but this dire reality of having NOTHING TO DO. Let us find +them something to do. Let us tear up our gardens, plough up our +lawns, and pleasure-grounds, so that we do but find work for these +men, and save their children and wives from hunger.' + +"'And themselves from crime,' added the Dervish solemnly. Then +quitting his companions, he went into the crowd of men, and made +known to them in a few hurried words, that, by the order of their +young princes, there would, before another day had dawned, be +something found to do for them all. + +"The cheer of gratitude which followed this announcement, thrilled +through the heart of those who had been enabled to offer the boon, +and so overpowered them, that, after a liberal distribution of coin +to the necessitous labourers, they gladly hurried away. + +"'Now my task is ended,' cried the Dervish, as they retraced their +steps to the palace on the hill. 'My sons, you have seen the sacred +sorrow which may attach to the bitter complaint of having NOTHING TO +DO. Henceforth seal your lips over the words, for, in all other +cases but this, they are, as you yourselves have said, a folly, a +mockery, and a lie.' + +"It is scarcely necessary to add," continued Aunt Judy, "that the +young princes returned to the palace in a very different state of +mind from that in which they left it. They had now so many things to +do in prospect, so much to plan and inquire about, that when the +night closed upon them, they wondered how the day had gone, and +grudged the necessary hours of sleep. But on the morrow, just as +they were eagerly recommencing their left-off consultations, the +Dervish appeared among them, and suggested that their first duty +still remained unthought of. + +"The incomparable sons were now really surprised, for they had been +flattering themselves they were most laudably employed. But the +Dervish reminded them, that, although their duty to mankind in +general was great, their duty to their father in particular was yet +greater, and that it behoved them to set his mind at rest, by +assuring him, that henceforth they would not prevent him from smoking +his pipe in peace, by restless discontent, and disturbing messages +and wants. + +"To this the young princes readily agreed, and thoroughly ashamed, on +reflection, of the years of harass with which they, in their +thoughtless ingratitude, had worried poor King Schelim, they repaired +to his presence, and without entering into unnecessary explanations, +(which he would not have understood,) assured him that they were +perfectly happy, that they had got plenty to do, as well as +everything to enjoy, that they were very sorry they had tormented him +for so long a period of his life, but that they begged to be +forgiven, and would never do so again! + +"King Schelim was uncommonly pleased with what they said, although he +had to lay down his pipe for a few minutes to receive their +salutations, and give his in return; after which they returned to +their palace on the hill, and led thenceforward useful, intelligent, +and therefore happy lives, reforming grievances, consoling sorrows, +and taking particular care that everybody had the opportunity of +having SOMETHING TO DO. + +"And as they never again disturbed their father King Schelim, with +foolish messages, he smoked his pipe in peace to the end of his +days." + +"Nice old Schelim!" observed No. 8, when Aunt Judy's pause showed +that the story was done. A conclusion which made the other little +ones laugh; but now Aunt Judy spoke again. + +"You like the story, all of you?" + +Could there be a doubt about it? No! "Schelim, King of the Hills, +and his four sons," was one of Aunt Judy's very, very, very, best +inventions. But they had the happy knack of always thinking so of +the last they heard. + +"And yet there is a flaw in it," said Aunt Judy. + +"Aunt Judy!" exclaimed several voices at once, in a tone of +expostulation. + +"Yes; I mean in the moral:" pursued she, "there is no Christianity in +the teaching, and therefore it is not perfect, although it is all +very good as far as it goes." + +"But they were eastern people, and I suppose Mahometans or Brahmins," +suggested No. 4. + +"Exactly; and, therefore, I could not give them Christian principles; +and, therefore, although I have made my four princes turn out very +well, and do what was right, for the rest of their lives (as I had a +right to do); yet it is only proper I should explain, that I do not +believe any people can be DEPENDED UPON for doing right, except when +they live upon Christian principles, and are helped by the grace of +God, to fulfil His will, as revealed to us by His Son Jesus Christ. + +"Certainly it is always more REASONABLE to do right than wrong, even +when the wrong may seem most pleasant at the moment; because, as all +people of sense know, doing right is most for their own happiness, as +well as for everybody else's, even in this world. + +"But although the knowledge of this may influence us when we are in a +sober enough state of mind to think about it calmly, the inducement +is not a sufficiently strong one to be relied upon as a safe-guard, +when storms of passion and strong temptations come upon us. In such +cases it very often goes for nothing, and then it is a perfect chance +which way a person acts. + +"Even in the matter of doing good to others, we need the Christian +principle as our motive, or we may be often tempted to give it up, or +even to be as cruel at some moments, as we are kind at others. It is +very pleasant, no doubt, to do good, and be charitable, when the +feeling comes into the heart, but the mere pleasure is apt to cease, +if we find people thankless or stupid, and that our labours seem to +have been in vain. And what a temptation there is, then, to turn +away in disgust, unless we are acting upon Christ's commands, and can +bear in mind, that even when the pleasure ends, the duty remains. + +"And now," said Aunt Judy in conclusion, "a kiss for the story-teller +all round, if you please. She has had an invitation, and is going +from home to-morrow." + +"Oh, Aunt Judy!" ejaculated the little ones, in not the most cheerful +of tones. + +"Well," cried Aunt Judy, looking at them and laughing, "you don't +mean to say that you will not find PLENTY TO DO, and PLENTY TO ENJOY +while I am away? Come, I mean to write to you all by turns, and I +shall inquire in my letters whether you have remembered, TO YOUR +EDIFICATION, the story of Schelim, King of the Hills, and his four +sons." + + + +Footnotes: + +{1} "Weide," pasture, grass. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, AUNT JUDY'S TALES *** + +This file should be named ajtl10.txt or ajtl10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, ajtl11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, ajtl10a.txt + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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