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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5074-0.txt b/5074-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f01e0a5 --- /dev/null +++ b/5074-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5583 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Aunt Judy's Tales, by Mrs. Alfred Gatty, +Illustrated by Clara S. Lane + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: Aunt Judy's Tales + + +Author: Mrs. Alfred Gatty + + + +Release Date: July 31, 2019 [eBook #5074] +[This file was first posted on April 14, 2002] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AUNT JUDY'S TALES*** + + +1Transcribed from the 1859 Bell and Daldy edition by David Price, email +ccx074@pglaf.org + + + + + + AUNT JUDY’S TALES + + + BY MRS. ALFRED GATTY, + AUTHOR OF “PARABLES FROM + NATURE,” ETC. + + ILLUSTRATED BY CLARA S. LANE. + + SECOND EDITION. + + [Picture: Decorative graphic of bells] + + LONDON: + + BELL AND DALDY, 186, FLEET STREET. + 1859. + + * * * * * + + _The Right of Translation is reserved_. + + * * * * * + + TO THE “LITTLE ONES” + IN MANY HOMES, + + THIS VOLUME + IS + DEDICATED. + + M. G. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + Page +THE LITTLE VICTIMS 1 +VEGETABLES OUT OF PLACE 26 +COOK STORIES 48 +RABBITS’ TAILS 77 +OUT OF THE WAY 104 +NOTHING TO DO 141 + + [Picture: Aunt Judy and the Little ones] + + + + +THE LITTLE VICTIMS. + + + “Save our blessings, Master, save, + From the blight of thankless eye.” + + _Lyra Innocentium_. + +THERE is not a more charming sight in the domestic world, than that of an +elder girl in a large family, amusing what are called the _little ones_. + +How could mamma have ventured upon that cosy nap in the arm-chair by the +fire, if she had been harassed by wondering what the children were about? +Whereas, as it was, she had overheard No. 8 begging the one they all +called “Aunt Judy,” to come and tell them a story, and she had beheld +Aunt Judy’s nod of consent; whereupon she had shut her eyes, and composed +herself to sleep quite complacently, under the pleasant conviction that +all things were sure to be in a state of peace and security, so long as +the children were listening to one of those curious stories of Aunt +Judy’s, in which, with so much drollery and amusement, there was sure to +be mixed up some odd scraps of information, or bits of good advice. + +So, mamma being asleep on one side of the fire, and papa reading the +newspaper on the other, Aunt Judy and No. 8 noiselessly left the room, +and repaired to the large red-curtained dining-room, where the former sat +down to concoct her story, while the latter ran off to collect the little +ones together. + +In less than five minutes’ time there was a stream of noise along the +passage—a bursting open of the door, and a crowding round the fire, by +which Aunt Judy sat. + +The “little ones” had arrived in full force and high expectation. We +will not venture to state their number. An order from Aunt Judy, that +they should take their seats quietly, was but imperfectly obeyed; and a +certain amount of hustling and grumbling ensued, which betrayed a rather +quarrelsome tendency. + +At last, however, the large circle was formed, and the bright firelight +danced over sunny curls and eager faces. Aunt Judy glanced her eye round +the group; but whatever her opinion as an artist might have been of its +general beauty, she was by no means satisfied with the result of her +inspection. + +“No. 6 and No. 7,” cried she, “you are not fit to listen to a story at +present. You have come with dirty hands.” + +No. 6 frowned, and No. 7 broke out at once into a howl; he had washed his +hands ever so short a time ago, and had done nothing since but play at +knuckle-bones on the floor! Surely people needn’t wash their hands every +ten minutes! It was very hard! + +Aunt Judy had rather a logical turn of mind, so she set about expounding +to the “little ones” in general, and to Nos. 6 and 7 in particular, that +the proper time for washing people’s hands was when their hands were +dirty; no matter how lately the operation had been performed before. +Such, at least, she said, was the custom in England, and everyone ought +to be proud of belonging to so clean and respectable a country. She, +therefore, insisted that Nos. 6 and 7 should retire up-stairs and perform +the necessary ablution, or otherwise they would be turned out, and not +allowed to listen to the story. + +Nos. 6 and 7 were rather restive. The truth was, it had been one of +those unlucky days which now and then will occur in families, in which +everything seemed to be perverse and go askew. It was a dark, cold, +rainy day in November, and going out had been impossible. The elder boys +had worried, and the younger ones had cried. It was Saturday too, and +the maids were scouring in all directions, waking every echo in the +back-premises by the grating of sand-stone on the flags; and they had +been a good deal discomposed by the family effort to play at “Wolf” in +the passages. Mamma had been at accounts all the morning, trying to find +out some magical corner in which expenses could be reduced between then +and the arrival of Christmas bills; and, moreover, it was a half-holiday, +and the children had, as they call it, nothing to do. + +So Nos. 6 and 7, who had been vexed about several other little matters +before, during the course of the day, broke out now on the subject of the +washing of their hands. + +Aunt Judy was inexorable however—inexorable though cool; and the rest got +impatient at the delay which the debate occasioned: so, partly by +coaxing, and partly by the threat of being shut out from hearing the +story, Nos. 6 and 7 were at last prevailed upon to go up-stairs and wash +their grim little paws into that delicate shell-like pink, which is the +characteristic of juvenile fingers when clean. + +As they went out, however, they murmured, in whimpered tones, that they +were sure it was _very hard_! + +After their departure, Aunt Judy requested the rest not to talk, and a +complete silence ensued, during which one or two of the youngest +evidently concluded that she was composing her story, for they stared at +her with all their might, as if to discover how she did it. + +Meantime the rain beat violently against the panes, and the red curtains +swayed to and fro from the effect of the wind, which, in spite of +tolerable woodwork, found its way through the divisions of the windows. +There was something very dreary in the sound, and very odd in the varying +shades of red which appeared upon the curtains as they swerved backwards +and forwards in the firelight. + +Several of the children observed it, but no one spoke until the footsteps +of Nos. 6 and 7 were heard approaching the door, on which a little girl +ventured to whisper, “I’m very glad I’m not out in the wind and rain;” +and a boy made answer, “Why, who would be so silly as to think of going +out in the wind and rain? Nobody, of course!” + +At that moment Nos. 6 and 7 entered, and took their places on two little +Derby chairs, having previously showed their pink hands in sombre silence +to Aunt Judy, whereupon Aunt Judy turned herself so as to face the whole +group, and then began her story as follows:— + +“There were once upon a time eight little Victims, who were shut up in a +large stone-building, where they were watched night and day by a set of +huge grown-up keepers, who made them do whatever they chose.” + +“Don’t make it _too_ sad, Aunt Judy,” murmured No. 8, half in a tremble +already. + +“You needn’t be frightened, No. 8,” was the answer; “my stories always +end well.” + +“I’m so glad,” chuckled No. 8 with a grin, as he clapped one little fat +hand down upon the other on his lap in complete satisfaction. “Go on, +please.” + +“Was the large stone-building a prison, Aunt Judy?” inquired No. 7. + +“That depends upon your ideas of a prison,” answered Aunt Judy. “What do +you suppose a prison is?” + +“Oh, a great big place with walls all round, where people are locked up, +and can’t go in and out as they choose.” + +“Very well. Then I think you may be allowed to call the place in which +the little Victims were kept a prison, for it certainly was a great big +place with walls all round, and they were locked up at night, and not +allowed to go in and out as they chose.” + +“Poor things,” murmured No. 8; but he consoled himself by recollecting +that the story was to end well. + +“Aunt Judy, before you go on, do tell us what _victims_ are? Are they +fairies, or what? I don’t know.” + +This was the request of No. 5, who was rather more thoughtful than the +rest, and was apt now and then to delay a story by his inquiring turn of +mind. + +No. 6 was in a hurry to hear some more, and nudged No. 5 to make him be +quiet; but Aunt Judy interposed; said she did not like to tell stories to +people who didn’t care to know what they meant, and declared that No. 5 +was quite right in asking what a victim was. + +“A victim,” said she, “was the creature which the old heathens used to +offer up as a sacrifice, after they had gained a victory in battle. You +all remember I dare say,” continued she, “what a sacrifice is, and have +heard about Abel’s sacrifice of the firstlings of his flock.” + +The children nodded assent, and Aunt Judy went on:— + +“No such sacrifices are ever offered up now by us Christians, and so +there are no more real _victims_ now. But we still use the word, and +call any creature a victim who is ill-used, or hurt, or destroyed by +somebody else. + +“If you, any of you, were to worry or kill the cat, for instance, then +the cat would be called _the victim of your cruelty_; and in the same +manner the eight little Victims I am going to tell you about were the +victims of the whims and cruel prejudices of those who had the charge of +them. + +“And now, before I proceed any further, I am going to establish a rule, +that whenever I tell you anything very sad about the little Victims, you +shall all of you groan aloud together. So groan here, if you please, now +that you quite understand what a victim is.” + +Aunt Judy glanced round the circle, and they all groaned together to +order, led off by Nos. 3 and 4, who did not, it must be owned, look in a +very mournful state while they performed the ceremony. + +It was wonderful what good that groan did them all! It seemed to clear +off half the troubles of the day, and at its conclusion a smile was +visible on every face. + +Aunt Judy then proceeded:— + +“I do not want to make you cry too much, but I will tell you of the +miseries the captive victims underwent in the course of one single day, +and then you will be able to judge for yourselves what a life they led +together. + +“One of their heaviest miseries happened every evening. It was the +misery of _going to bed_. Perhaps now you may think it sounds odd that +going to bed should be called a misery. But you shall hear how it was. + +“In the evening, when all the doors were safely locked and bolted, so +that no one could get away, the little Victims were summoned down-stairs, +and brought into a room where some of the keepers were sure to be sitting +in the greatest luxury. There was generally a warm fire on the hearth, +and a beautiful lamp on the table, which shed an agreeable light around, +and made everything look so pretty and gay, the hearts of the poor +innocent Victims always rose at the sight. + +“Sometimes there would be a huge visitor or two present, who would now +and then take the Victims on their knees, and say all manner of +entertaining things to them. Or there would be nice games for them to +play at. Or the keepers themselves would kiss them, and call them kind +names, as if they really loved them. How nice all this sounds, does it +not? And it would have been nice, if the keepers would but have let it +last for ever. But that was just the one thing they never would do, and +the consequence was, that, whatever pleasure they might have had, the +wretched Victims always ended by being dissatisfied and sad. + +“And how could it be otherwise? Just when they were at the height of +enjoyment, just when everything was most delightful, a horrible knock was +sure to be heard at the door, the meaning of which they all knew but too +well. It was the knock which summoned them to bed; and at such a moment +you cannot wonder that going to bed was felt to be a misfortune. + +“Had there been a single one among them who was sleepy, or tired, or +ready for bed, there would have been some excuse for the keepers; but as +it was, there was none, for the little Victims never knew what it was to +feel tired or weary on those occasions, and were always carried forcibly +away before that feeling came on. + +“Of course, when the knock was heard, they would begin to cry, and say +that it was very hard, and that they didn’t _want_ to go to bed, and one +went so far once as to add that she _wouldn’t_ go to bed. + +“But it was all in vain. The little Victims might as well have attempted +to melt a stone wall as those hard-hearted beings who had the charge of +them. + +“And now, my dears,” observed Aunt Judy, stopping in her account, “this +is of all others the exact moment at which you ought to show your +sympathy with the sufferers, and groan.” + +The little ones groaned accordingly, but in a very feeble manner. + +Aunt Judy shook her head. + +“That groan is not half hearty enough for such a misery. Don’t you +think, if you tried hard, you could groan a little louder?” + +They did try, and succeeded a little better, but cast furtive glances at +each other immediately after. + +“Were the beds very uncomfortable ones, Aunt Judy?” inquired No. 8, in a +subdued voice. + +“You shall judge for yourself,” was the answer. “They were raised off +the floor upon legs, so that no wind from under the door could get at +them; and on the flat bottom called the bed-stock, there was placed a +thick strong bag called a mattress, which was stuffed with some soft +material which made it springy and pleasant to touch or lie down upon. +The shape of it was a long square, or what may be called a rectangular +parallelogram. I strongly advise you all to learn that word, for it is +rather an amusing idea as one steps into bed, to think that one is going +to sleep upon a parallelogram.” + +Nos. 3 and 4 were here unable to contain themselves, but broke into a +peal of laughter. The little ones stared. + +“Well,” resumed Aunt Judy, “for my part, I think it’s a very nice thing +to learn the ins and outs of one’s own life; to consider how one’s bed is +made, and the why and wherefore of its shape and position. It is a great +pity to get so accustomed to things as not to know their value till we +lose them! But to proceed. + +“On the top of this parallelogramatic mattress was laid a soft blanket. +On the top of that blanket, two white sheets. On the top of the sheets, +two or more warm blankets, and on the top of the blankets, a spotted +cover called a counterpane. + +“Now it was between the sheets that each little Victim was laid, and such +were the receptacles to which they were unwillingly consigned, night +after night of their lives! + +“But I have not yet told you half the troubles of this dreadful ‘going to +bed.’ A good fire with a large tub before it, and towels hung over the +fender, was always the first sight which met the tearful eyes of the +little Victims as they entered the nursery after being torn from the joys +of the room down-stairs. And then, lo and behold! a new misery began, +for, whether owing to the fatigue of getting up-stairs, or that their +feelings had been so much hurt, they generally discovered at this moment +that they were one and all so excessively tired, they didn’t know what to +do;—of all things, did not choose to be washed—and insisted, each of +them, on being put to bed first! But let them say what they would, and +cry afresh as they pleased, and even snap and snarl at each other like so +many small terriers, those cruel keepers of theirs never would grant +their requests; never would put any of them to bed dirty, and always +declared that it was impossible to put each of them to bed first! + +“Imagine now the feelings of those who had to wait round the fire while +the others were attended to! Imagine the weariness, the disgust, before +the whole party was finished, and put by for the night!” + +Aunt Judy paused, but no one spoke. + +“What!” cried she suddenly, “will nobody groan? Then I must groan +myself!” which she did, and a most unearthly noise she made; so much so, +that two or three of the little ones turned round to look at the swelling +red curtains, just to make sure the howl did not proceed from thence. + +After which Aunt Judy continued her tale:— + +“So much for night and going to bed, about which there is nothing more to +relate, as the little Victims were uncommonly good sleepers, and seldom +awoke till long after daylight. + +“Well now, what do you think? By the time they had had a good night, +they felt so comfortable in their beds, that they were quite contented to +remain there; and then, of course, their tormentors never rested till +they had forced them to get up! Poor little things! Just think of their +being made to go to bed at night, when they most disliked it, and then +made to get up in the morning, when they wanted to stay in bed! It +certainly was, as they always said, ‘very, very hard.’ This was, of +course, a winter misery, when the air was so frosty and cold that it was +very unpleasant to jump out into it from a warm nest. Terrible scenes +took place on these occasions, I assure you, for sometimes the wretched +Victims would sit shivering on the floor, crying over their socks and +shoes instead of putting them on, (which they had no spirit for,) and +then the savage creatures who managed them would insult them by +irritating speeches. + +“‘Come, Miss So-and-So,’ one would say, ‘don’t sit fretting there; +there’s a warm fire, and a nice basin of bread-and-milk waiting for you, +if you will only be quick and get ready.’ + +“Get ready! a nice order indeed! It meant that they must wash themselves +and be dressed before they would be allowed to touch a morsel of food. + +“But it is of no use dwelling on the unfeelingness of those keepers. One +day one of them actually said:— + +“‘If you knew what it was to have to get up without a fire to come to, +and without a breakfast to eat, you would leave off grumbling at +nothing.’ + +“_Nothing_! they called it _nothing_ to have to get out of a warm bed +into the fresh morning air, and dress before breakfast! + +“Well, my dears,” pursued Aunt Judy, after waiting here a few seconds, to +see if anybody would groan, “I shall take it for granted you feel for the +_getting-up_ misery as well as the _going-to-bed_ one, although you have +not groaned as I expected. I will just add, in conclusion, that the +summer _getting-up_ misery was just the reverse of this winter one. Then +the poor little wretches were expected to wait till their nursery was +dusted and swept; so there they had to lie, sometimes for half-an-hour, +with the sun shining in upon them, not allowed to get up and come out +into the dirt and dust! + +“Of course, on those occasions they had nothing to do but squabble among +themselves and teaze; and I assure you they had every now and then a very +pleasant little revenge on their keepers, for they half worried them out +of their lives by disturbances and complaints, and at any rate that was +some comfort to them, although very often it hindered the nursery from +being done half as soon as it would have been if they had been quiet. + +“I shall not have time to tell of everything,” continued Aunt Judy, “so I +must hurry over the breakfast, although the keepers contrived to make +even that miserable, by doing all they could to prevent the little +Victims from spilling their food on the table and floor, and also by +insisting on the poor little things sitting tolerably upright on their +seats—_not_ lolling with both elbows on the table-cloth—_not_ making a +mess—not, in short, playing any of those innocent little pranks in which +young creatures take delight. + +“It was a pitiable spectacle, as you may suppose, to see reasonable +beings constrained against their inclinations to sit quietly while they +ate their hearty morning meal, which really, perhaps, they might have +enjoyed, had they been allowed to amuse themselves in their own fashion +at the same time. + +“But I must go on now to that great misery of the day, which I shall call +the _lesson_ misery. + +“Now you must know, the little Victims were all born, as young kids, +lambs, kittens, and puppy-dogs are, with a decided liking for jumping +about and playing all day long. Think, therefore, what their sufferings +were when they were placed in chairs round a table, and obliged to sit +and stare at queer looking characters in books until they had learned to +know them what was called _by heart_. It was a very odd way of +describing it, for I am sure they had often no heart in the matter, +unless it was a hearty dislike. + +“‘Tommy Brown in the village never learns any lessons,’ cried one of them +once to the creature who was teaching him, ‘why should I? He is always +playing at oyster-dishes in the gutter when I see him, and enjoying +himself. I wish _I_ might enjoy myself!’ + +“Poor Victim! He little thought what a tiresome lecture this clever +remark of his would bring on his devoted head! + +“Don’t ask me to repeat it. It amounted merely to this, that twenty +years hence he would he very glad he had learnt something else besides +making oyster-dishes in the streets. As if that signified to him now! +As if it took away the nuisance of having to learn at the present moment, +to be told it would be of use hereafter! What was the use of its being +of use by-and-by? + +“So thought the little Victim, young as he was; so, said he, in a +muttering voice:— + +“‘I don’t care about twenty years hence; I want to be happy now!’ + +“This was unanswerable, as you may suppose; so the puzzled teacher didn’t +attempt to make a reply, but said:— + +“‘Go on with your lessons, you foolish little boy!’ + +“See what it is to be obstinate,” pursued Aunt Judy. “See how it blinds +people’s eyes, and prevents them from knowing right from wrong! Pray +take warning, and never be obstinate yourselves; and meantime, let us +have a good hearty groan for the _lesson_ misery.” + +The little ones obeyed, and breathed out a groan that seemed to come from +the very depths of their hearts; but somehow or other, as the story +proceeded, the faces looked rather less amused, and rather more anxious, +than at first. + +What could the little ones be thinking about to make them grave? + +It was evidently quite a relief when Aunt Judy went on:— + +“You will be very much surprised, I dare say,” said she, “to hear of the +next misery I am going to tell you about. It may be called the _dinner_ +misery, and the little Victims underwent it every day.” + +“Did they give them nasty things to eat, Aunt Judy?” murmured No. 8, very +anxiously. + +“More likely not half enough,” suggested No. 5. + +“But you promised not to make the story _too_ sad, remember!” observed +No. 6. + +“I did,” replied Aunt Judy, “and the _dinner_ misery did not consist in +nasty food, or there not being enough. They had plenty to eat, I assure +you, and everything was good. But—” + +Aunt Judy stopped short, and glanced at each of the little ones in +succession. + +“Make haste, Aunt Judy!” cried No. 8. “But what?” + +“_But_,” resumed Aunt Judy, in her most impressive tone, “they had to +wait between the courses.” + +Again Aunt Judy paused, and there was a looking hither and thither among +the little ones, and a shuffling about on the small Derby chairs, while +one or two pairs of eyes were suddenly turned to the fire, as if watching +it relieved a certain degree of embarrassment which their owners began to +experience. + +“It is not every little boy or girl,” was Aunt Judy’s next remark, “who +knows what the courses of a dinner are.” + +“_I_ don’t,” interposed No. 8, in a distressed voice, as if he had been +deeply injured. + +“Oh, you think not? Well, not by name, perhaps,” answered Aunt Judy. +“But I will explain. The courses of a dinner are the different sorts of +food, which follow each other one after the other, till dinner is what +people call ‘over.’ Thus, supposing a dinner was to begin with pea-soup, +as you have sometimes seen it do, you would expect when it was taken away +to see some meat put upon the table, should you not?” + +The little ones nodded assent. + +“And after the meat was gone, you would expect pie or pudding, eh?” + +They nodded assent again, and with a smile. + +“And if after the pudding was carried away, you saw some cheese and +celery arrive, it would not startle you very much, would it?” + +The little ones did nothing but laugh. + +“Very well,” pursued Aunt Judy, “such a dinner as we have been talking +about consists of four courses. The soup course, the meat course, the +pudding course, and the cheese course. And it was while one course was +being carried out, and another fetched in, that the little Victims had to +wait; and that was the _dinner_ misery I spoke about, and a very grievous +affair it was. Sometimes they had actually to wait several minutes, with +nothing to do but to fidget on their chairs, lean backwards till they +toppled over, or forward till some accident occurred at the table. And +then, poor little things, if they ventured to get out their knuckle-bones +for a game, or took to a little boxing amusement among themselves, or to +throwing the salt in each other’s mugs, or pelting each other with bits +of bread, or anything nice and entertaining, down came those merciless +keepers on their innocent mirth, and the old stupid order went round for +sitting upright and quiet. Nothing that I can say about it would be half +as expressive as what the little Victims used to say themselves. They +said that it was ‘_so very hard_.’ + +“Now, then, a good groan for the _dinner_ misery,” exclaimed Aunt Judy in +conclusion. + +The order was obeyed, but somewhat reluctantly, and then Aunt Judy +proceeded with her tale. + +“On one occasion of the _dinner_ misery,” resumed she, “there happened to +be a stranger lady present, who seemed to be very much shocked by what +the Victims had to undergo, and to pity them very much; so she said she +would set them a nice little puzzle to amuse them till the second course +arrived. But now, what do you think the puzzle was? It was a question, +and this was it. ‘Which is the harder thing to bear—to have to wait for +your dinner, or to have no dinner to wait for?’ + +“I do not think the little Victims would have quite known what the +stranger lady meant, if she had not explained herself; for you see _they_ +had never gone without dinner in their lives, so they had not an idea +what sort of a feeling it was to have _no dinner to wait for_. But she +went on to tell them what it was like as well as she could. She +described to them little Tommy Brown, (whom they envied so much for +having no lessons to do,) eating his potatoe soaked in the dripping +begged at the squire’s back-door, without anything else to wait—or hope +for. She told them that _he_ was never teazed as to how he sat, or even +whether he sat or stood, and then she asked them if they did not think he +was a very happy little boy? He had no trouble or bother, but just ate +his rough morsel in any way he pleased, and then was off, hungry or not +hungry, into the streets again. + +“To tell you the truth,” pursued Aunt Judy, “the Victims did not know +what to say to the lady’s account of little Tommy Brown’s happiness; but +as the roast meat came in just as it concluded, perhaps that diverted +their attention. However, after they had all been helped, it was +suddenly observed that one of them would not begin to eat. He sat with +his head bent over his plate, and his cheeks growing redder and redder, +till at last some one asked what was amiss, and why he would not go on +with his dinner, on which he sobbed out that he had ‘much rather it was +taken to little Tommy Brown!’” + +“That was a very _good_ little Victim, wasn’t he?” asked No. 8. + +“But what did the keepers say?” inquired No. 5, rather anxiously. + +“Oh,” replied Aunt Judy, “it was soon settled that Tommy Brown was to +have the dinner, which made the little Victim so happy, he actually +jumped for joy. On which the stranger lady told them she hoped they +would henceforth always ask themselves her curious question whenever they +sat down to a good meal again. ‘For,’ said she, ‘my dears, it will teach +you to be thankful; and you may take my word for it, it is always the +ungrateful people who are the most miserable ones.’” + +“Oh, Aunt Judy!” here interposed No. 6, somewhat vehemently, “you need +not tell any more! I know you mean _us_ by the little Victims! But you +don’t think we really _mean_ to be ungrateful about the beds, or the +dinners, or anything, do you?” + +There was a melancholy earnestness in the tone of the inquiry, which +rather grieved Aunt Judy, for she knew it was not well to magnify +childish faults into too great importance: so she took No. 6 on her knee, +and assured her she never imagined such a thing as their being really +ungrateful, for a moment. If she had, she added, she should not have +turned their little ways into fun, as she had done in the story. + +No. 6 was comforted somewhat on hearing this, but still leant her head on +Aunt Judy’s shoulder in a rather pensive state. + +“I wonder what makes one so tiresome,” mused the meditative No. 5, trying +to view the matter quite abstractedly, as if he himself was in no way +concerned in it. + +“Thoughtlessness only,” replied Aunt Judy, smiling. “I have often heard +mamma say it is not ingratitude in _children_ when they don’t think about +the comforts they enjoy every day; because the comforts seem to them to +come, like air and sunshine, as a mere matter of course.” + +“Really?” exclaimed No. 6, in a quite hopeful tone. “Does mamma really +say that?” + +“Yes; but then you know,” continued Aunt Judy, “everybody has to be +taught to think by degrees, and then they get to know that no comforts +ever do really come to anybody as a matter of course. No, not even air +and sunshine; but every one of them as blessings permitted by God, and +which, therefore, we have to be thankful for. So you see we have to +_learn_ to be thankful as we have to learn everything else, and mamma +says it is a lesson that never ends, even for grown-up people. + +“And now you understand, No. 6, that you—oh! I beg pardon, I mean _the +little Victims_—were not really ungrateful, but only thoughtless; and the +wonderful stranger lady did something to cure them of that, and, in fact, +proved a sort of Aunt Judy to them; for she explained things in such a +very entertaining manner, that they actually began to think the matter +over; and then they left off being stupid and unthankful. + +“But this reminds me,” added Aunt Judy, “that you—tiresome No. 6—have +spoilt my story after all! I had not half got to the end of the +miseries. For instance, there was the _taking-care_ misery, in +consequence of which the little Victims were sent out to play on a fine +day, and kept in when it was stormy and wet, all because those stupid +keepers were more anxious to keep them well in health than to please them +at the moment. + +“And then there was—above all—” here Aunt Judy became very impressive, +“the _washing_ misery, which consisted in their being obliged to make +themselves clean and comfortable with soap and water whenever they +happened to be dirty, whether with playing at knuckle-bones on the floor, +or anything else, and which was considered _so hard_ that—” + +But here a small hand was laid on Aunt Judy’s mouth, and a gentle voice +said, “Stop, Aunt Judy, now!” on which the rest shouted, “Stop! stop! we +won’t hear any more,” in chorus, until all at once, in the midst of the +din, there sounded outside the door the ominous knocking, which announced +the hour of repose to the juvenile branches of the family. + +It was a well-known summons, but on this occasion produced rather an +unusual effect. First, there was a sudden profound silence, and pause of +several seconds; then an interchange of glances among the little ones; +then a breaking out of involuntary smiles upon several young faces; and +at last a universal “Good-night, Aunt Judy!” very quietly and demurely +spoken. + +“If the little Victims were only here to see how _you_ behave over the +_going-to-bed_ misery, what a lesson it would be!” suggested Aunt Judy, +with a mischievous smile. + +“Ah, yes, yes, we know, we know!” was the only reply, and it came from +No. 8, who took advantage of being the youngest to be more saucy than the +rest. + +Aunt Judy now led the little party into the drawing-room to bid their +father and mother good-night too. And certainly when the door was +opened, and they saw how bright and cosy everything looked, in the light +of the fire and the lamps, with mamma at the table, wide awake and +smiling, they underwent a fearful twinge of the _going-to-bed_ misery. +But they checked all expression of their feelings. Of course, mamma +asked what Aunt Judy’s story had been about, and heard; and heard, too, +No. 6’s little trouble lest she should have been guilty of the sin of +real ingratitude; and, of course, mamma applauded Aunt Judy’s explanation +about the want of thought, very much indeed. + +“But, mamma,” said No. 6 to her mother, “Aunt Judy said something about +grown-up people having to learn to be thankful. Surely you and papa +never cry for nonsense, and things you can’t have?” + +“Ah, my darling No. 6,” cried mamma earnestly, “grown-up people may not +_cry_ for what they want exactly, but they are just as apt to wish for +what they cannot have, as you little ones are. For instance, grown-up +people would constantly like to have life made easier and more agreeable +to them, than God chooses it to be. They would like to have a little +more wealth, perhaps, or a little more health, or a little more rest, or +that their children should always be good and clever, and well and happy. +And while they are thinking and fretting about the things they want, they +forget to be thankful for those they have. I am often tempted in this +way myself, dear No. 6; so you see Aunt Judy is right, and the lesson of +learning to be thankful never ends, even for grown-up people. + +“One other word before you go. I dare say you little ones think we +grown-up people are quite independent, and can do just as we like. But +it is not so. We have to learn to submit to the will of the great Keeper +of Heaven and earth, without understanding it, just as Aunt Judy’s little +Victims had to submit to their keepers without knowing why. So thank +Aunt Judy for her story, and let us all do our best to be obedient and +contented.” + +“When I am old enough, mother,” remarked No. 7, in his peculiarly mild +and deliberate way of speaking, and smiling all the time, “I think I +shall put Aunt Judy into a story. Don’t you think she would make a +capital Ogre’s wife, like the one in ‘Jack and the Bean-Stalk,’ who told +Jack how to behave, and gave him good advice?” + +It was a difficult question to say “No” to, so mamma kissed No. 7, +instead of answering him, and No. 7 smiled himself away, with his head +full of the bright idea. + + + + +VEGETABLES OUT OF PLACE. + + + “But any man that walks the mead, + In bud or blade, or bloom, may find, + According as his humours lead, + A meaning suited to his mind.” + + TENNYSON. + +IT was a fine May morning. Not one of those with an east wind and a +bright sun, which keep people in a puzzle all as day to whether it is hot +or cold, and cause endless nursery disputes about the keeping on of +comforters and warm coats, whenever a hoop-race, or some such active +exertion, has brought a universal puggyness over the juvenile frame—but +it was a really mild, sweet-scented day, when it is quite a treat to be +out of doors, whether in the gardens, the lanes, or the fields, and when +nothing but a holland jacket is thought necessary by even the most +tiresomely careful of mammas. + +It was not a day which anybody would have chosen to be poorly upon; but +people have no choice in such matters, and poor little No. 7, of our old +friends “the little ones,” was in bed ill of the measles. + +The wise old Bishop, Jeremy Taylor, told us long ago, how well children +generally bear sickness. “They bear it,” he says, “by a direct +sufferance;” that is to say, they submit to just what discomfort exists +at the moment, without fidgetting about either “a cause or a +consequence,” and decidedly without fretting about what is to come. + +For a grown-up person to attain to the same state of unanxious +resignation, is one of the high triumphs of Christian faith. It is that +“delivering one’s self up,” of which the poor speak so forcibly on their +sick-beds. + +No. 7 proved a charming instance of the truth of Jeremy Taylor’s remark. +He behaved in the most composed manner over his feelings, and even over +his physic. + +During the first day or two, when he sat shivering by the fire, reading +“Neill D’Arcy’s Life at Sea,” and was asked how he felt, he answered with +his usual smile; “Oh, all right; only a little cold now and then.” And +afterwards, when he was in bed in a darkened room, and the same question +was put, he replied almost as quietly, (though without the smile,) +“Oh—only a little too hot.” + +Then over the medicine, he contested nothing. He made, indeed, one or +two by no means injudicious suggestions, as to the best method of having +the disagreeable material, whether powdery or oleaginous, (I will not +particularize further!) conveyed down his throat: commonly said, “Thank +you,” even before he had swallowed it; and then shut his eyes, and kept +himself quiet. + +Fortunately No. 1, and Schoolboy No. 3, had had the complaint as well as +papa and mamma, so there were plenty to share in the nursing and house +matters. The only question was, what was to be done with the little ones +while Nurse was so busy; and Aunt Judy volunteered her services in their +behalf. + +Now it will easily be supposed, after what I have said, that the nursing +was not at all a difficult undertaking; but I am grieved to say that Aunt +Judy’s task was by no means so easy a one. + +The little ones were very sorry, it is true, that No. 7 was poorly; but, +unluckily, they forgot it every time they went either up-stairs or down. +They could not bear in their minds the fact, that when they encouraged +the poodle to bark after an India-rubber ball, he was pretty sure to wake +No. 7 out of a nap; and, in short, the day being so fine, and the little +ones so noisy, Aunt Judy packed them all off into their gardens to tidy +them up, she herself taking her station in a small study, the window of +which looked out upon the family play-ground. + +Her idea, perhaps, was, that she could in this way combine the +prosecution of her own studies, with enacting policeman over the young +gardeners, and “keeping the peace,” as she called it. But if so, she was +doomed to disappointment. + +The operation of “tidying up gardens,” as performed by a set of “little +ones,” scarcely needs description. + +It consists of a number of alterations being thought of, and set about, +not one of which is ever known to be finished by those who begin them. +It consists of everybody wanting the rake at the same moment, and of +nobody being willing to use the other tools, which they call stupid and +useless things. It consists of a great many plants being moved from one +place to another, when they are in full flower, and dying in consequence. +(But how, except when they are in flower, can anyone judge where they +will look best?) It consists of a great many seeds being prevented from +coming up at all, by an “alteration” cutting into the heart of the patch +just as they were bursting their shells for a sprout. It consists of an +unlimited and fatal application of the cold-water cure. + +And, finally, it results in such a confusion between foot-walks and +beds—such a mixture of earth and gravel, and thrown-down tools—that +anyone unused to the symptoms of the case, might imagine that the door of +the pigsty in the yard had been left open, and that its inhabitant had +been performing sundry uncouth gambols with his nose in the little ones’ +gardens. + +Aunt Judy was quite aware of these facts, and she had accordingly laid +down several rules, and given several instructions to prevent the usual +catastrophe; and all went very smoothly at first in consequence. The +little ones went out all hilarity and delight, and divided the tools with +considerable show of justice, while Aunt Judy nodded to them approvingly +out of her window, and then settled down to an interesting sum in that +most peculiar of all arithmetical rules, “_The Rule of False_,” the +principle of which is, that out of two errors, made by yourself from two +wrong guesses, you arrive at a discovery of the truth! + + [Picture: The rule of false] + +When Aunt Judy first caught sight of this rule, a few days before, at the +end of an old summing-book, it struck her fancy at once. The principle +of it was capable of a much more general application than to the “Rule of +False,” and she amused herself by studying it up. + +It is, no doubt, a clumsy substitute for algebra; but young folks who +have not learnt algebra, will find it a very entertaining method of +making out all such sums as the following old puzzler, over which Aunt +Judy was now poring: + +“There is a certain fish, whose head is 9 inches in length, his tail as +long as his head and half of his back, and his back as long as both head +and tail together. Query, the length of the fish?” + +But Aunt Judy was not left long in peace with her fish. While she was in +the thick of “suppositions” and “errors,” a tap came at the window. + +“Aunt Judy!” + +“Stop!” was the answer; and the hand of the speaker went up, with the +slate-pencil in it, enforcing silence while she pursued her calculations. + +“Say, back 42 inches; then tail (half back) 21, and head given, 9, that’s +30, and 30 and 9, 39 back.—Won’t do! Second error: three inches—What’s +the matter, No. 6? You surely have not begun to quarrel already?” + +“Oh, no,” answered No. 6, with her nose flattened against the +window-pane. “But please, Aunt Judy, No. 8 won’t have the oyster-shell +trimming round his garden any longer, he says; he says it looks so +rubbishy. But as my garden joins his down the middle, if he takes away +the oyster-shells all round his, then one of _my_ sides—the one in the +middle, I mean—will be left bare, don’t you see? and I want to keep the +oyster-shells all round may garden, because mamma says there are still +some zoophytes upon them. So how is it to be?” + +What a perplexity! The fish with his nine-inch head, and his tail as +long as his head and half of his back, was a mere nothing to it. + +Aunt Judy threw open the window. + +“My dear No. 6,” answered she, “yours is the great boundary-line question +about which nations never do agree, but go squabbling on till some one +has to give way first. There is but one plan for settling it, and that +is, for each of you to give up a piece of your gardens to make a road to +run between. Now if you’ll both give way at once, and consent to this, I +will come out to you myself, and leave my fish till the evening. It’s +much too fine to stay in doors, I feel; and I can give you all something +real to do.” + +“_I’ll_ give way, I’m sure, Aunt Judy,” cried No. 6, quite glad to be rid +of the dispute; “and so will you, won’t you, No. 8?” she added, appealing +to that young gentleman, who stood with his pinafore full of dirty +oyster-shells, not quite understanding the meaning of what was said. + +“I’ll _what_?” inquired he. + +“Oh, never mind! Only throw the oyster-shells down, and come with Aunt +Judy. It will be much better fun than staying here.” + +No. 8 lowered his pinafore at the word of command, and dropped the +discarded oyster-shells, one by one—where do you think?—why—right into +the middle of his little garden! an operation which seemed to be +particularly agreeable to him, if one might judge by his face. He was +not sorry either to be relieved from the weight. + +“You see, Aunt Judy,” continued No. 6 to her sister, who had now joined +them, “it doesn’t so much matter about the oyster-shell trimming; but No. +8’s garden is always in such a mess, that I must have a wall or something +between us!” + +“You shall have a wall or a path decidedly,” replied Aunt Judy: “a road +is the next best thing to a river for a boundary-line. But now, all of +you, pick up the tools and come with me, and you shall do some regular +work, and be paid for it at the rate of half-a-farthing for every half +hour. Think what a magnificent offer!” + +The little ones thought so in reality, and welcomed the arrangement with +delight, and trudged off behind Aunt Judy, calculating so hard among +themselves what their conjoint half-farthings would come to, for the +half-hours they all intended to work, and furthermore, what amount or +variety of “goodies” they would purchase, that Aunt Judy half fancied +herself back in the depths of the “Rule of False” again! + +She led them at last to a pretty shrubbery-walk, of which they were all +very fond. On one side of it was a quick-set hedge, in which the +honeysuckle was mixed so profusely with the thorn, that they grew and +were clipped together. + +It was the choicest spot for a quiet evening stroll in summer that could +possibly be imagined. The sweet scent from the honeysuckle flowers stole +around you with a welcome as you moved along, and set you a dreaming of +some far-off region where the delicious sensations produced by the odour +of flowers may not be as transient as they are here. + +There was an alcove in the middle of the walk—not one of the modern +mockeries of rusticity—but a real old-fashioned lath-and-plaster concern, +such as used to be erected in front of a bowling-green. It was roofed +in, was open only on the sunny side, and was supported by a couple of +little Ionic pillars, up which clematis and passion-flower were +studiously trained. + +There was a table as well as seats within; and the alcove was a very nice +place for either reading or drawing in, as it commanded a pretty view of +the distant country. It was also, and perhaps especially, suited to the +young people in their more poetical and fanciful moods. + +The little ones had no sooner reached the entrance of the favourite walk, +than they scampered past Aunt Judy to run a race; but No. 6 stopped +suddenly short. + +“Aunt Judy, look at these horrible weeds! Ah! I do believe this is what +you have brought us here for!” + +It was indeed; for some showers the evening before, had caused them to +flourish in a painfully prominent manner, and the favourite walk +presented a somewhat neglected appearance. + +So Aunt Judy marked it off for the little ones to weed, repeated the +exhilarating promise of the half-farthings, and seated herself in the +alcove to puzzle out the length of the fish. + +At first it was rather amusing to hear, how even in the midst of their +weeding, the little ones pursued their calculations of the anticipated +half-farthings, and discussed the niceness and prices of the various +descriptions of “goodies.” + +But by degrees, less and less was said; and at last, the half-farthings +and “goodies” seemed altogether forgotten, and a new idea to arise in +their place. + +The new idea was, that this weeding-task was uncommonly troublesome! + +“I’m sure there are many more weeds in my piece than in anybody else’s!” +remarked the tallest of the children, standing up to rest his rather +tired back, and contemplate the walk. “I don’t think Aunt Judy measured +it out fair!” + +“Well, but you’re the biggest, and ought to do the most,” responded No. +6. + +“A _little_ the most is all very well,” persisted No. 5; “but I’ve got +_too much_ the most rather—and it’s very tiresome work.” + +“What nonsense!” rejoined No. 6. “I don’t believe the weeds are any +thicker in your piece than in mine. Look at my big heap. And I’m sure +I’m quite as tired as you are.” + +No. 6 got up as she spoke, to see how matters were going on; not at all +sorry either, to change her position. + +“_I’ve_ got the most,” muttered No. 8 to himself, still kneeling over his +work. + +But this was, it is to be feared, a very unjustifiable bit of brag. + +“If you go on talking so much, you will not get any half-farthings at +all!” shouted No. 4, from the distance. + +A pause followed this warning, and the small party ducked down again to +their work. + +They no longer liked it, however; and very soon afterwards the jocose No. +5 observed, in subdued tones to the others:— + +“I wonder what _the little victims_ would have said to this kind of +thing?” + +“They’d have hated it,” answered No. 6, very decidedly. + +The fact was, the little ones were getting really tired, for the fine May +morning had turned into a hot day; and in a few minutes more, a still +further aggravation of feeling took place. + +No. 6 got up again, shook the gravel from her frock, blew it off her +hands, pushed back a heap of heavy curls from her face, set her hat as +far back on her head as she could, and exclaimed:— + +“I wish there were no such things as weeds in the world!” + +Everybody seemed struck with this impressive sentiment, for they all left +off weeding at once, and Aunt Judy came forward to the front of the +alcove. + +“Don’t you, Aunt Judy?” added No. 6, feeling sure her sister had heard. + +“Not I, indeed,” answered Aunt Judy, with a comical smile: “I’m too fond +of cream to my tea.” + +“Cream to your tea, Aunt Judy? What can that have to do with it?” + +The little ones were amazed. + +“Something,” at any rate, responded Aunt Judy; “and if you like to come +in here, and sit down, I will tell you how.” + +Away went hoes and weeding-knives at once, and into the alcove they +rushed; and never had garden-seats felt so thoroughly comfortable before. + +“If one begins to wish,” suggested No. 5, stretching his legs out to +their full extent, “one may as well wish oneself a grand person with a +lot of gardeners to clear away the weeds as fast as they come up, and +save one the trouble.” + +“Much better wish them away, and save everybody the trouble,” persisted +No. 6. + +“No: one wants them sometimes.” + +“What an idea! Who ever wants weeds?” + +“You yourself.” + +“I? What nonsense!” + +But the persevering No. 5 proceeded to explain. No. 6 had asked him a +few days before to bring her some groundsel for her canary, and he had +been quite disappointed at finding none in the garden. He had actually +to “trail” into the lanes to fetch a bit. + +This was a puzzling statement; so No. 6 contented herself with grumbling +out:— + +“Weeds are welcome to grow in the lanes.” + +“Weeds are not always weeds in the lanes,” persisted No. 5, with a grin: +“they’re sometimes wild-flowers.” + +“I don’t care what they are,” pouted No. 6. “I wish I lived in a place +where there were none.” + +“And I wish I was a great man, with lots of gardeners to take them up, +instead of me,” maintained No. 5, who was in a mood of lazy tiresomeness, +and kept rocking to and fro on the garden-chair, with his hands tucked +under his thighs. “A weed—a weed,” continued he; “what is a weed, I +wonder? Aunt Judy, what is a weed?” + +Aunt Judy had surely been either dreaming or cogitating during the last +few minutes, for she had taken no notice of what was said, but she roused +up now, and answered:— + +“A vegetable out of its place.” + +“A _vegetable_,” repeated No. 5, “why we don’t eat them, Aunt Judy.” + +“You kitchen-garden interpreter, who said we did?” replied she. “All +green herbs are _vegetables_, let me tell you, whether we eat them or +not.” + +“Oh, I see,” mused No. 5, quietly enough, but in another instant he broke +out again. + +“I’ll tell you what though, some of them are real vegetables, I mean +kitchen-garden vegetables, to other creatures, and that’s why they’re +wanted. Groundsel’s a vegetable, it’s the canary’s vegetable. I mean +his kitchen-garden vegetable, and if he had a kitchen-garden of his own, +he would grow it as we do peas. So I was right after all, No. 6!” + +That _twit_ at the end spoilt everything, otherwise this was really a +bright idea of No. 5’s. + +“Aunt Judy, do begin to talk yourself,” entreated No. 6. “I wish No. 5 +would be quiet, and not teaze.” + +“And he wishes the same of you,” replied Aunt Judy, “and I wish the same +of you all. What is to be done? Come, I will tell you a story, on one +positive understanding, namely, that whoever teazes, or even _twits_, +shall be turned out of the company.” + +No. 5 sat up in his chair like a dart in an instant, and vowed that he +would be the best of the good, till Aunt Judy had finished her story. + +“After which—” concluded he, with a wink and another grin. + +“After which, I shall expect you to be better still,” was Aunt Judy’s +emphatic rejoinder. And peace being now completely established, she +commenced: “There was once upon a time—what do you think?”—here she +paused and looked round in the children’s faces. + +“A giant!” exclaimed No. 8. + +“A beautiful princess!” suggested No. 6. + +“_Something_,” said Aunt Judy, “but I am not going to tell you what at +present. You must find out for yourselves. Meantime I shall call it +_something_, or merely make a grunting—hm—when I allude to it, as people +do to express a blank.” + +The little ones shuffled about in delighted impatience at the notion of +the mysterious “something” which they were to find out, and Aunt Judy +proceeded:— + +“This—hm—then, lived in a large meadow field, where it was the delight of +all beholders. The owner of the property was constantly boasting about +it to his friends, for he maintained that it was the richest, and most +beautiful, and most valuable—hm—in all the country round. Surely no +other thing in this world ever found itself more admired or prized than +this _something_ did. The commonest passer-by would notice it, and say +all manner of fine things in its praise, whether in the early spring, the +full summer, or the autumn, for at each of these seasons it put on a +fresh charm, and formed a subject of conversation. ‘Only look at that +lovely—hm—’ was quite a common exclamation at the sight of it. ‘What a +colour it has! How fresh and healthy it looks! How invaluable it must +be! Why, it must be worth at least—’ and then the speaker would go +calculating away at the number of pounds, shillings, and pence, +the—hm—would fetch, if put into the money-market, which is, I am sorry to +say, a very usual, although very degrading way of estimating worth. + +“To conclude, the mild-eyed Alderney cow, who pastured in the field +during the autumn months, would chew the cud of approbation over +the—hm—for hours together, and people said it was no wonder at all that +she gave such delicious milk and cream.” + +Here a shout of supposed discovery broke from No. 5. “I’ve guessed, I +know it!” + +But a “hush” from Aunt Judy stopped him short. + +“No. 5, nobody asked your opinion, keep it to yourself, if you please.” + +No. 5 was silenced, but rubbed his hands nevertheless. + +“Well,” continued Aunt Judy, “that ‘_something_’ ought surely to have +been the most contented thing in the world. Its merits were +acknowledged; its usefulness was undoubted; its beauty was the theme of +constant admiration; what had it left to wish for? Really nothing; but +by an unlucky accident it became dissatisfied with its situation in a +meadow field, and wished to get into a higher position in life, which, it +took for granted, would be more suited to its many exalted qualities. +The ‘_something_’ of the field wanted to inhabit a garden. The unlucky +accident that gave rise to this foolish idea, was as follows:— + +“A little boy was running across the beautiful meadow one morning, with a +tin-pot full of fishing bait in his hand, when suddenly he stumbled and +fell down. + +“The bait in the tin-pot was some lob-worms, which the little boy had +collected out of the garden adjoining the field, and they were spilt and +scattered about by his fall. + +“He picked up as many as he could find, however, and ran off again; but +one escaped his notice and was left behind. + +“This gentleman was insensible for a few seconds; but as soon as he came +to himself, and discovered that he was in a strange place, he began to +grumble and find fault. + +“‘What an uncouth neighbourhood!’ Such were his exclamations. ‘What +rough impracticable roads! Was ever lob-worm so unlucky before!’ It was +impossible to move an inch without bumping his sides against some piece +of uncultivated ground. + +“Judge for yourselves, my dears,” continued Aunt Judy, pathetically, +“what must have been the feelings of the ‘_something_’ which had lived +proudly and happily in the meadow field for so long, on hearing such +offensive remarks. + +“Its spirit was up in a minute, just as yours would have been, and it did +not hesitate to inform the intruder that travellers who find fault with a +country before they have taken the trouble to inquire into its merits, +are very ignorant and impertinent people. + +“This was blow for blow, as you perceive; and the _teaze-and-twit_ system +was now continued with great animation on both sides. + +“The lob-worm inquired, with a conceited wriggle, what could be the +merits of a country, where gentlemanly, gliding, thin-skinned creatures +like himself were unable to move about without personal annoyance? +Whereupon the amiable ‘_something_’ made no scruple of telling the +lob-worm that his _betters_ found no fault with the place, and instanced +its friend and admirer the Alderney cow. + +“On which the lob-worm affected forgetfulness, and exclaimed, ‘Cow? cow? +do I know the creature? Ah! Yes, I recollect now; clumsy legs, horny +feet, and that sort of thing,’ proceeding to hint that what was good +enough for a cow, might yet not be refined enough for his own more +delicate habits. + +“‘It is my misfortune, perhaps,’ concluded he, with mock humility, ‘to +have been accustomed to higher associations; but really, situated as I am +here, I could almost feel disposed to—why, positively, to wish myself a +cow, with clumsy legs and horny feet. What one may live to come to, to +be sure!’ + +“Well,” Aunt Judy proceeded, “will you believe it, the lob-worm went on +boasting till the poor deluded ‘_something_’ believed every word he said, +and at last ventured to ask in what favoured spot he had acquired his +superior tastes and knowledge. + +“And then, of course, the lob-worm had the opportunity of opening out in +a very magnificent bit of brag, and did not fail to do so. + +“Travellers can always boast with impunity to stationary folk, and the +lob-worm had no conscience about speaking the truth. + +“So on he chattered, giving the most splendid account of the garden in +which he lived. Gorgeous flowers, velvet lawns, polished gravel-walks, +along which he was wont to take his early morning stroll, before the +ruder creatures of the neighbourhood, such as dogs, cats, &c. were up and +about, were all his discourse; and he spoke of them as if they were his +own, and told of the nursing and tending of every plant in the lovely +spot, as if the gardeners did it all for his convenience and pleasure. + +“Of the little accidents to which he and his race have from time +immemorial been liable from awkward spades, or those very early birds, by +whom he ran a risk of being snapped up every time he emerged out of the +velvet lawns for the morning strolls, he said just nothing at all. + +“All was unmixed delight (according to his account) in the garden, and +having actually boasted himself into good humour with himself, and +therefore with everybody else, he concluded by expressing the +condescending wish, that the ‘_something_’ in the field should get itself +removed to the garden, to enjoy the life of which he spoke. + +“‘Undeniably beautiful as you are here,’ cried he, ‘your beauty will +increase a thousand fold, under the gardener’s fostering care. +Appreciated as you are now in your rustic life, the most prominent place +will be assigned to you when you get into more distinguished society; so +that everybody who passes by and sees you, will exclaim in delight, +‘Behold this exquisite—hm—!’” + +“Oh dear, Aunt Judy,” cried No. 6, “was the ‘hum,’ as you will call it, +so silly as to believe what he said?” + +“How could the poor simple-minded thing be expected to resist such +elegant compliments, my dear No. 6?” answered Aunt Judy. “But then came +the difficulty. The ‘_something_’ which lived in the field had no more +legs than the lob-worm himself, and, in fact, was incapable of +locomotion.” + +“Of course it was!” ejaculated No. 5. + +“Order!” cried Aunt Judy, and proceeded:— + +“So the—hm—hung down its graceful head in despair, but suddenly a bright +and loving thought struck it. It could not change its place and rise in +life itself, but its children might, and that would be some consolation. +It opened its heart on this point to the lob-worm, and although the +lob-worm had no heart to be touched, he had still a tongue to talk. + +“If the—hm—would send its children to the garden at the first +opportunity, he would be delighted, absolutely charmed, to introduce them +in the world. He would put them in the way of everything, and see that +they were properly attended to. There was nothing he couldn’t or +wouldn’t do. + +“This last pretentious brag seemed to have exhausted even the lob-worm’s +ingenuity, for, soon after he had uttered it, he shuffled away out of the +meadow in the best fashion that he could, leaving the ‘_something_’ in +the field in a state of wondering regret. But it recovered its spirits +again when the time came for sending its children to the favoured garden +abode. + +“‘My dears,’ it said, ‘you will soon have to begin life for yourselves, +and I hope you will do so with credit to your bringing up. I hope you +are now ambitious enough to despise the dull old plan of dropping +contentedly down, just where you happen to be, or waiting for some chance +traveller (who may never come) to give you a lift elsewhere. That +paradise of happiness, of which the lob-worm told us, is close at hand. +Come! it only wants a little extra exertion on your part, and you will be +carried thither by the wind, as easily as the wandering Dandelion +himself. Courage, my dears! nothing out of the common is ever gained +without an effort. See now! as soon as ever a strong breeze blows the +proper way, I shall shake my heads as hard as ever I can, that you may be +off. All the doors and windows are open now, you know, and you must +throw yourselves out upon the wind. Only remember one thing, when you +are settled down in the beautiful garden, mind you hold up your heads, +and do yourselves justice, my dears.’ + +“The children gave a ready assent, of course, as proud as possible at the +notion; and when the favourable breeze came, and the maternal heads were +shaken, out they all flew, and trusted themselves to its guidance, and in +a few minutes settled down all over the beautiful garden, some on the +beds, some on the lawn, some on the polished gravel-walks. And all I can +say is, happiest those who were least seen!” + +“Grass weeds! grass weeds!” shouted the incorrigible No. 5, jumping up +from his seat and performing two or three Dervish-like turns. + +“Oh, it’s too bad, isn’t it, Aunt Judy,” cried No. 6, “to stop your story +in the middle?” + +Whereupon Aunt Judy answered that he had not stopped the story in the +middle, but at the end, and she was glad he had found out the meaning of +her—_hm_—! + +But No. 6 would not be satisfied, she liked to hear the complete finish +up of everything. “Did the ‘_hum’s_’ children ever grow up in the +garden, and did they ever see the lob-worm again?” + +“The—hm’s—children did _spring_ up in the garden,” answered Aunt Judy, +“and did their best to exhibit their beauty on the polished gravel-walks, +where they were particularly delighted with their own appearance one May +morning after a shower of rain, which had made them more prominent than +usual. ‘Remember our mother’s advice,’ cried they to each other. ‘This +is the happy moment! Let us hold up our heads, and do ourselves justice, +my dears.’ + +“Scarcely were the words spoken, when a troop of rude creatures came +scampering into the walk, and a particularly unfeeling monster in curls, +pointed to the beautiful up-standing little—hms—and shouted, ‘Aunt Judy, +look at these _horrible weeds_!’ + +“I needn’t say any more,” concluded Aunt Judy. “You know how you’ve used +them; you know what you’ve done to them; you know how you’ve even wished +there were _no such things in the world_!” + +“Oh, Aunt Judy, how capital!” ejaculated No. 6, with a sigh, the sigh of +exhausted amusement. + +“‘The _hum_ was a weed too, then, was it?” said No. 8. He did not quite +see his way through the tale. + +“It was not a weed in the meadow,” answered Aunt Judy, “where it was +useful, and fed the Alderney cow. It was beautiful Grass there, and was +counted as such, because that was its proper place. But when it put its +nose into garden-walks, where it was not wanted, and had no business, +then everybody called the beautiful Grass a weed.” + +“So a weed is a vegetable out of its place, you see,” subjoined No. 5, +who felt the idea to be half his own, “and it won’t do to wish there were +none in the world.” + +“And a vegetable out of its place being nothing better than a weed, Mr. +No. 5,” added Aunt Judy, “it won’t do to be too anxious about what is so +often falsely called, bettering your condition in life. Come, the story +is done, and now we’ll go home, and all the patient listeners and weeders +may reckon upon getting one or more farthings apiece from mamma. And as +No. 6’s wish is not realized, and there are still weeds {47} in the +world, and among them Grass weeds, _I_ shall hope to have some cream to +my tea.” + + + + +COOK STORIES. + + + “Down too, down at your own fireside, + With the evil tongue and the evil ear, + For each is at war with mankind.” + + TENNYSON’S _Maud_. + +AUNT JUDY had gone to the nursery wardrobe to look over some clothes, and +the little ones were having a play to themselves. As she opened the +door, they were just coming to the end of an explosive burst of laughter, +in which all the five appeared to have joined, and which they had some +difficulty in stopping. No. 4, who was a biggish girl, had giggled till +the tears were running over her cheeks; and No. 8, in sympathy, was +leaning back in his tiny chair in a sort of ecstasy of amusement. + +The five little ones had certainly hit upon some very entertaining game. + +They were all (boys and girls alike) dressed up as elderly ladies, with +bits of rubbishy finery on their heads and round their shoulders, to +imitate caps and scarfs; the boys’ hair being neatly parted and brushed +down the middle; and they were seated in form round what was called “the +Doll’s Table,” a concern just large enough to allow of a small crockery +tea-service, with cups and saucers and little plates, being set out upon +it. + +“What have you got there?” was all Aunt Judy asked, as she went up to the +table to look at them. + +“Cowslip-tea,” was No. 4’s answer, laying her hand on the fat pink +tea-pot; and thereupon the laughing explosion went off nearly as loudly +as before, though for no accountable reason that Aunt Judy could divine. + +“It’s _so_ good, Aunt Judy, do taste it!” exclaimed No. 8, jumping up in +a great fuss, and holding up his little cup, full of a pale-buff fluid, +to Aunt Judy. + +“You’ll have everything over,” cried No. 4, calling him to order; and in +truth the table was not the steadiest in the world. + +So No. 8 sat down again, calling out, in an almost stuttering hurry, “You +may keep it all, Aunt Judy, I don’t want any more.” + +But neither did Aunt Judy, after she had given it one taste; so she put +the cup down, thanking No. 8 very much, but pulling such a funny face, +that it set the laugh going once more; in the middle of which No. 4 +dropped an additional lump of sugar into the rejected buff-coloured +mixture, a proceeding which evidently gave No. 8 a new relish for the +beverage. + +Aunt Judy had got beyond the age when cowslip-tea was looked upon as one +of the treats of life; and she had not, on the other hand, lived long +enough to love the taste of it for the memory’s sake of the enjoyment it +once afforded. + +Not but what we are obliged to admit that cowslip-tea is one of those +things which, even in the most enthusiastic days of youth, just falls +short of the absolute perfection one expects from it. + +Even under those most favourable circumstances of having had the +delightful gathering of the flowers in the sweet sunny fields—the picking +of them in the happy holiday afternoon—the permission to use the best +doll’s tea-service for the feast—the loan of a nice white table-cloth—and +the present of half-a-dozen pewter knives and forks to fancy-cut the +biscuits with—nay, even in spite of the addition of well-filled doll’s +sugar-pots and cream-jugs—cowslip-tea always seems to want either a +leetle more or a leetle less sugar—or a leetle more or a leetle less +cream—or to be a leetle more or a leetle less strong—to turn it into that +complete nectar which, of course, it really _is_. + +On the present occasion, however, the children had clearly got hold of +some other source of enjoyment over the annual cowslip-tea feast, besides +the beverage itself; and Aunt Judy, glad to see them so safely happy, +went off to her business at the wardrobe, while the little ones resumed +their game. + +“Very extraordinary, indeed, ma’am!” began one of the fancy old ladies, +in a completely fancy voice, a little affected, or so. “_Most_ +extraordinary, ma’am, I may say!” + +(Here there was a renewed giggle from No. 4, which she carefully +smothered in her handkerchief.) + +“But still I think I can tell you of something more extraordinary still!” + +The speaker having at this point refreshed his ideas by a sip of the +pale-coloured tea, and the other ladies having laughed heartily in +anticipation of the fun that was coming, one of them observed:— + +“You don’t _say_ so, ma’am—” then clicked astonishment with her tongue +against the roof of her mouth several times, and added impressively, +“_Pray_ let us hear!” + +“I shall be most happy, ma’am,” resumed the first speaker, with a +graceful inclination forwards. “Well!—you see—it was a party. I had +invited some of my most distinguished friends—really, ma’am, +_fashionable_ friends, I may say, to dinner; and, ahem! you see—some +little anxiety always attends such affairs—even—in the best regulated +families!” + +Here the speaker winked considerably at No. 4, and laughed very loudly +himself at his own joke. + +“Dear me, you must excuse me, ma’am,” he proceeded. “So, you see, I felt +a little fatigued by my morning’s exertions, (to tell you the truth, +there had been no end of bother about everything!) and I retired quietly +up-stairs to take a short nap before the dressing-bell rang. But I had +not been laid down quite half an hour, when there was a loud knock at the +door. Really, ma’am, I felt quite alarmed, but was just able to ask, +‘Who’s there?’ Before I had time to get an answer, however, the door was +burst open by the housemaid. Her face was absolute scarlet, and she +sobbed out:— + +“‘Oh, ma’am, what shall we do?’ + +“‘Good gracious, Hannah,’ cried I, ‘what can be the matter? Has the soot +come down the chimney? Speak!’ + +“‘It’s nothing of that sort, ma’am,’ answered Hannah, ‘it’s the cook!’ + +“‘The cook!’ I shouted. ‘I wish you would not be so foolish, Hannah, but +speak out at once. What about Cook?’ + +“‘Please, m’m, the cook’s lost!’ says Hannah. ‘We can’t find her!’ + +“‘Your wits are lost, Hannah, _I_ think,’ cried I, and sent her to tidy +the rooms while I slipt downstairs to look for the cook. + +“Fancy a lost cook, ma’am! Was there ever such a ridiculous idea? And +on the day of a dinner-party too! Did you ever hear of such a trial to a +lady’s feelings before?” + +“Never, I am sure,” responded the lady opposite. “Did _you_, ma’am?” +turning to her neighbour. + +But the other three ladies all shook their heads, bit their lips, and +declared that they “Never had, they were sure!” + +“I thought not!” ejaculated the narrator. “Well, ma’am, I went into the +kitchens, the larder, the pantries, the cellars, and all sorts of places, +and still no cook! Do you know, she really was nowhere! Actually, +ma’am, the cook was lost!” + +Shouts of laughter burst forth here; but the lady (who was No. 5) put up +his hand, and called out in his own natural tones:— + +“Stop! I haven’t got to the end yet!” + +“Order!” proclaimed No. 4 immediately, in a very commanding voice, and +thumping the table with the head of an old wooden doll to enforce +obedience. + +And then the sham lady proceeded in the same mincing voice as before:— + +“Well!—dear me, I’m quite put out. But however, you see—what was to be +done, that was the thing. It wanted only half an hour to dinner-time, +and there was the meat roasting away by itself, and the potatoe-pan +boiling over. You never heard such a fizzling as it made in your life—in +short, everything was in a mess, and there was no cook. + +“Well! I basted the meat for a few minutes, took the potatoe-pan off the +fire, and then ran up-stairs to put on my bonnet. Thought I, the best +thing I can do is to send somebody for the policeman, and let _him_ find +the cook. But while I was tying the strings of my bonnet, I fancied I +heard a mysterious noise coming out of the bottom drawer of my wardrobe. +Fancy that, ma’am, with my nerves in such a state from the cook being +lost!” + +No. 5 paused, and looked round for sympathy, which was most freely given +by the other ladies, in the shape of sighs and exclamations. + +“The drawer was a very deep drawer, ma’am, so I thought perhaps the cat +had crept in,” continued No. 5. “Well, I went to it to see, and there it +was, partly open, with a cotton gown in it that didn’t belong to me. +Imagine my feelings at _that_, ma’am! So I pulled at the handles to get +the drawer quite open, but it wouldn’t come, it was as heavy as lead. It +was really very alarming—one doesn’t like such odd things happening—but +at last I got it open, though I tumbled backwards as I did so; and what +do you think, ma’am—ladies—what _do_ you think was in it?” + +“The cook!” shrieked No. 4, convulsed with laughter; and the whole party +clapped their hands and roared applause. + +“The cook, ma’am, actually the cook!” pursued No. 5, “one of the fattest, +most _poonchy_ little women you ever saw. And what do you think was the +history of it? I kept my up-stairs Pickwick in the corner of that bottom +drawer. She had seen it there that very morning, when she was helping to +dust the room, and took the opportunity of a spare half-hour to slip up +and rest herself by reading it in the drawer. Unluckily, however, she +had fallen asleep, and when I got the drawer out, there she lay, and I +actually heard her snore. A shocking thing this education, ma’am, you +see, and teaching people to read. All the cooks in the country are +spoilt!” + +Peals of laughter greeted this wonderfully witty concoction of No. 5’s, +and the lemon-coloured tea and biscuits were partaken of during the pause +which followed. + +Aunt Judy meanwhile, who had been quite unable to resist joining in the +laugh herself, was seated on the floor, behind the open door of the +wardrobe, thinking to herself of certain passages in Wordsworth’s most +beautiful ode, in which he has described the play of children, + + “As if their whole vocation + Were endless imitation.” + +Truly they had got hold here of strange + + “Fragments from their dream of human life.” + +Where _could_ the children have picked up the original of such absurd +nonsense? + +Aunt Judy had no time to make it out, for now the mincing voices began +again, and she sat listening. + +“Have _you_ had no curious adventures with your maids, ma’am?” inquires +No. 5 of No. 4. + +No. 5 makes an attempt at a bewitching grin as he speaks, fanning himself +with a fan which he has had in his hand all the time he was telling his +story. + +“Well, ladies,” replied No. 4, only just able to compose herself to talk, +“I don’t think I _have_ been quite as fortunate as yourselves in having +so many extraordinary things to tell. My servants have been sadly +common-place, and done just as they ought. But still, _once_, +ladies—once, a curious little incident did occur to me.” + +“Oh, ma’am, I entreat you—pray let us hear it!” burst from all the ladies +at once. + +No. 4 had to bite her lip to preserve her gravity, and then she turned to +No. 5— + +“The fan, if you please, ma’am!” + +The rule was, that the one fan was placed at the disposal of the +story-teller for the time, so No. 5 handed it to No. 4, with a graceful +bow; and No. 4 waffed it to and fro immediately, and began her account:— + +“People are so unscrupulous you see, ladies, about giving characters. +It’s really shocking. For my part, I don’t know what the world will come +to at last. We shall all have to be our own servants, I suppose. People +say anything about anything, that’s the fact! Only fancy, ma’am, three +different ladies once recommended a cook to me as the best soup-maker in +the country. Now that sounded a very high recommendation, for, of +course, if a cook can make soups, she can do anything—sweetmeats and +those kind of things follow of themselves. So, ma am, I took her, and +had a dinner-party, and ordered two soups, entirely that I might show off +what a good cook I had got. Think what a compliment to her, and how much +obliged she ought to have been! Well, ma’am, I ordered the two soups, as +I said, one white, and the other brown; and everything appeared to be +going on in the best possible manner, when, as I was sitting in the +drawing-room entertaining the company, I was told I was wanted. + + [Picture: Playing at ladies] + +“When I got out of the room, there was the man I had hired to wait, and +says he:— + +“‘If you please, ma’am where are the knives? I can’t find any at all!’ + +“‘No knives!’ says I. ‘Dear me, don’t come to me about the knives. Ask +the cook, of course.’ + +“‘Please, ma’am, I have asked her, and she only laughed.’ + +“‘Then,’ said I, ‘ask the housemaid. It’s impossible for me to come out +and look for the knives.’ + +“Well, ladies,” continued No. 4, “would you believe it?—could anyone +believe it?—when I sat down to dinner, and began to help the soup, no +sooner had the silver ladle (_my_ ladle is silver, ladies) been plunged +into the tureen, than a most singular rattling was heard. + +“‘William,’ cried I, half in a whisper, to the waiter who was holding the +plate, ‘what in the world is this? Surely Cook has not left the bones +in?’ + +“‘Please, ma’am, I don’t know,’ was all the man could say. + +“Well—there was no remedy now, so I dipped the ladle in again, and lifted +out—oh! ma’am, I know if it was anybody but myself who told you, you +wouldn’t believe it—a ladleful of the lost knives! There they were, my +best beautiful ivory handles, all in the white soup! And while I was +discovering them, the gentleman at the other end of the table had found +all the kitchen-knives, with black handles, in the brown soup! + +“There never was anything so mortifying before. And what do you think +was Cook’s excuse, when I reproached her? + +“‘Please, ma’am,’ said she, ‘I read in the _Young Woman’s Vademecum of +Instructive Information_, page 150, that there was nothing in the world +so strengthening and wholesome as dissolved bones, and ivory-dust; and +so, ma’am, I always make a point of throwing in a few knives into every +soup I have the charge of, for the sake of the handles—ivory-handles for +white soups, ma’am, and black-handles for the browns!’” + +Thunders of applause interrupted Cook’s excuse at this point, and No. 7 +was so overcome that he pushed his chair back, and performed three +distinct somersets on the floor, to the complete disorganization of his +head-dress, which consisted of a turban, from beneath which hung a +cluster of false curls. + +Turban and wig being replaced, however, and No. 7 reseated and composed, +No. 4 proceeded:— + +“Cook generally takes them out, she informed me, ladies, before the +tureens come to table; ‘but,’ said she, ‘my back was turned for a minute +here, ma’am, and that stupid William carried them off without asking if +they were ready. It’s all William’s fault, ma’am; and I don’t mean to +stay, for I don’t like a place where the man who waits has no tact!’ + +“Now, ladies,” continued No. 4, “what do you think of that by way of a +speech from a cook? And I assure you that a medical man’s wife, to whom +I mentioned in the course of the evening what Cook had said about +dissolved bones, told me that her husband had only laughed, and said Cook +was quite right. So she hired the woman that night herself, and I have +been told in confidence since—you’ll not repeat it, therefore, of course, +ladies?” + +“Of course not!” came from all sides. + +“Well, then, I was told that, before the year was out, the family hadn’t +a knife that would cut anything, they were so cankered with rust. So +much for education and learning to read, as you justly observed, ma’am, +before!” + +When the emotions produced by this tale had a little subsided, No. 7 was +called upon for his experience of maids. + +No. 7, with the turban on his head, and a fine red necklace round his +throat, said he took very little notice of the maids, but that he once +had had a very tiresome little boy in buttons, who was extremely fond of +sugar, and always carried the sugar-shaker in his pocket, and ate up the +sugar that was in it, and when it was empty, filled it up with magnesia. + +“But _once_,” he added, “ladies, he actually put some soda in. It was at +a party, and we had our first rhubarb tart for the season, and the +company sprinkled it all over with the soda and began to eat, but they +were too polite to say how nasty it was. But, of course, when I was +helped I called out. And what do you think the boy in buttons said?” + +Nobody could guess, so No. 7 had to tell them. + +“He said he had put it in on purpose, because he thought it would correct +the acid of the pie. So I said he had best be apprenticed to a doctor; +so he went—I dare say, ma’am, it was the same doctor who took your +cook—but I never heard of him any more, and I’ve never dared to have a +boy in buttons again.” + +“A very wise decision, ma’am, I’m sure!” cried Aunt Judy, who came up to +the wonderful tea-table in the midst of the last mound of applause. “And +now may I ask what game this is that you are playing at?” + +“Oh, we’re telling _Cook Stories_, Aunt Judy,” cried No. 6, seizing her +by the arm; “they’re such capital fun! I wish you had heard mine; they +were laughing at it when you first came in!” + +“It must have been delicious, to judge by the delight it gave,” replied +Aunt Judy, smiling, and kissing No. 6’s oddly bedizened up-turned face. +“But what I want to know is, what put Cook Stories, as you call them, +into your head?” + +“Oh! don’t you remember—” and here followed a long account from No. 6 of +how, about a week before, the little ones had gone somewhere to spend the +day, and how it had turned out a very rainy day, so that they could not +have games out of doors with their young friends, as had been expected, +but were obliged to sit a great part of the time in the drawing-room, +putting Chinese puzzles together into stupid patterns, and playing at +fox-and-goose, while the ladies were talking “grown-up conversation,” as +No. 6 worded it, among themselves; and, of course, being on their own +good behaviour, and very quiet, they could not help hearing what was +said. “And, oh dear, Aunt Judy,” continued No. 6, now with both her arms +holding Aunt Judy, of whom she was very fond, (except at lesson times!) +round the waist, “it was so odd! No. 7 and I did nothing at last but +listen and watch them; for little Miss, who sat with us, was shy, and +wouldn’t talk, and it was so very funny to see the ladies nodding and +making faces at each other, and whispering, and exclaiming, how shocking! +how abominable! you don’t say so! and all that kind of thing!” + +“Well, but what was shocking, and abominable, and all that kind of +thing?” inquired Aunt Judy. + +“Oh, I don’t know—things the nurses, and cooks, and boys in buttons did. +Almost all the ladies had some story to tell—all the servants had done +something or other queer—but especially the cooks, Aunt Judy, there was +no end to the cooks. So one day after we came back, and we didn’t know +what to play at, I said: ‘Do let us play at telling Cook Stories, like +the ladies at —.’ So we’ve dressed up, and played at Cook Stories, ever +since. Dear Aunt Judy, I wish you would invent a Cook Story yourself!” +was the conclusion of No. 6’s account. + +So then the mystery was out. Aunt Judy’s wonderings were cut short. Out +of the real life of civilized intelligent society had come those + + “Fragments from their dream of human life,” + +which Aunt Judy had called absurd nonsense. And absurd nonsense, indeed, +it was; but Aunt Judy was seized by the idea that some good might be got +out of it. + +So, in answer to No. 6’s wish, she said, with a shy smile:— + +“I don’t think I could tell Cook Stories half as well as yourself. But +if, by way of a change, you would like a _Lady_ Story instead, perhaps I +might be able to accomplish that.” + +“A _Lady_ Story! Oh, but that would be so dull, wouldn’t it?” inquired +No. 6. “You can’t make anything funny out of them, surely! Surely they +never do half such odd things as cooks, and boys in buttons!” + +“The ladies themselves think not, of course,” was Aunt Judy’s reply. + +“Well, but what do you think, Aunt Judy?” + +“Oh, I don’t think it matters what I think. The question is, what do +cooks and boys in buttons think?” + +“But, Aunt Judy, ladies are never tiresome, and idle, and impertinent, +like cooks and boys in buttons. Oh! if you had but heard the _real_ Cook +Stories those ladies told! I say, let me tell you one or two—I do think +I can remember them, if I try.” + +“Then don’t try on any account, dear No. 6,” exclaimed Aunt Judy. “I +like make-believe Cook Stories much better than real ones.” + +“So do I!” cried No. 7, “they’re so much the more entertaining.” + +“And not a bit less useful,” subjoined Aunt Judy, with a sly smile. + +“Well, I didn’t see much good in the real ones,” pursued No. 7, in a sort +of muse. + +“Let us tell you another make-believe one, then,” cried No. 6, who saw +that Aunt Judy was moving off, and wanted to detain her. + +“Then it’s _my_ turn!” shouted No. 8, jumping up, and stretching out his +arm and hand like a young orator flushed to his work. And actually, +before the rest of the little ones could put him down or stop him, No. 8 +contrived to tumble out the Cook Story idea, which had probably been +brewing in his head all the time of Aunt Judy’s talk. + +It was very brief, and this was it, delivered in much haste, and with all +the earnestness of a maiden speech. + +“_I_ had a button boy too, and he was a—what d’ye call it—oh, a _rascal_, +that was it;—he was a rascal, and liked the currants in mince-pies, so he +took them all out, and ate them up, and put in glass beads instead. So +when the people began to ear, their teeth crunched against the beads! +Ah! bah! how nasty it was!” + +No. 8 accompanied this remark with a corresponding grimace of disgust, +and then observed in conclusion:— + +“Perhaps he found it in a book, but I don’t know where,” after which he +lowered his outstretched arm, smiled, and sat down. + +The company clapped applause, and No. 4 especially must have been very +fond of laughing, for the glass-bead anecdote set her off again as +heartily as ever, and the rest followed in her wake, and while so doing, +never noticed that Aunt Judy had slipped away. + +They soon discovered it, however, when their mirth began to subside; but +before they had time to wonder much, there appeared from behind the door +of the wardrobe a figure, which in their secret souls they knew to be +Aunt Judy herself, although it looked a great deal stouter, and had a +thick-filled cap on its head, a white linen apron over its gown, and a +pair of spectacles on its nose. At sight of it they showed signs of +clapping again, but stopped short when it spoke to them as a stranger, +and willingly received it as such. + +Ah! it is one of the sweet features of childhood that it yields itself up +so readily to any little surprise or delusion that is prepared for its +amusement. No nasty pride, no disinclination to be carried away, no +affected indifference, interfere with young children’s enjoyment of what +is offered them. They will even help themselves into the pleasant +visions by an effort of will; and perhaps, now and then, end by partly +believing what they at first received voluntarily as an agreeable +make-believe. + +If, therefore, after the cook figure of Aunt Judy had seated itself by +the doll’s table, and the little ones had looked and grinned at it for +some time, hazy sensations began to steal over one or two minds, that +this _was_ somehow really a cook, it was all in the natural course of +things, and nobody resisted the feeling. + +Aunt Judy’s altered voice, and odd, assumed manner, contributed, no +doubt, a good deal to the impression. + +“Dear, dear! what pretty little darlings you all are!” she began, looking +at them one after another. “As sweet as sugar-plums, when you have your +own way, and are pleased. Eh, dears? But you don’t think you can take +old Cooky in, do you? No, no, I know what ladies and gentlemen, and +ladies’ and gentlemen’s _young_ ladies and _young_ gentlemen are, pretty +well, dears, I can tell you! Don’t I know all about the shiny hair and +smiling faces of the little pets in the parlour, and how they leave +parlour-manners behind them sometimes, when they run to the kitchen to +Cook, and order her here and there, and want half-a-dozen things at once, +and must and will have what they want, and are for popping their fingers +into every pie! + +“Well, well,” she proceeded, “the parlour’s the parlour, and the +kitchen’s the kitchen, and I’m only a cook. But then I conduct myself +_as_ Cook, even when I’m in the scullery, and I only wish ladies, and +ladies’ _young_ ladies too, would conduct themselves as ladies, even when +they come into the kitchen; that’s what I call being honourable and +upright. Well, dears, I’ll tell you how I came to know all about it. +You see, I lived once in a family where there were no less than eight of +those precious little pets, and a precious time I had of it with them. +But, to be sure, now it’s past and gone—I can make plenty of excuses for +them, poor things! They were so coaxed and flattered, and made so much +of, what could be expected from them but tiresome, wilful ways, without +any sense? + +“‘If your mamma would but put _you_ into the scullery, young miss, to +learn to wash plates and scour the pans out, she’d make a woman of you,’ +used I to think to myself when a silly child, who thought itself very +clever to hinder other people’s work, would come hanging about in the +kitchen, doing nothing but teaze and find fault, for that’s what a girl +can always do. + +“It was very aggravating, you may be sure, dears, (you see I can talk to +you quite reasonably, because you’re so nicely behaved;)—it was very +aggravating, of course; but I used to make allowances for them. Says I +to myself, ‘Cook, you’ve had the blessing of being brought up to hard +work ever since you were a babby. You’ve had to earn your daily bread. +Nobody knows how that brings people to their senses till they’ve tried; +so don’t you go and be cocky, because ladies and gentlemen, and ladies’ +and gentlemen’s _young_ ladies and _young_ gentlemen, are not quite so +sensible as you are. Who knows but what, if you’d been born to do +nothing, you might have been no wiser than them! It’s lucky for you +you’re only a cook; but don’t you go and be cocky, that’s all! Make +allowances; it’s the secret of life!’ + +“So you see, dears, I _did_ make allowances; and after the eight little +pets was safe in bed till next morning, I used to feel quite composed, +and pitiful-like towards them, poor little dears! But certainly, when +morning came, and the oldest young master was home for the holidays, it +was a trying time for me, and I couldn’t think of the allowances any +longer. Either he wouldn’t get up and come down till everyone else had +had their breakfast, and so he wanted fresh water boiled, and fresh tea +made, and another muffin toasted, and more bacon fried; or else he was up +so outrageous early, that he was scolding because there was no hot water +before the fire was lit—bless you, he hadn’t a bit of sense in his head, +poor boy, not a bit! And how should he? Why, he went to school as soon +as he was out of petticoats, and was set to all that Latin and Greek +stuff that never puts anything useful into folks’ heads, but so much more +chatter and talk; so he came back as silly as he went, poor thing! Dear +me, on a wet day, after lesson-time, those boys were like so many crazy +creatures. ‘Cook, I must make a pie,’ says one. ‘There’s a pie in the +oven already, Master James,’ says I. ‘I don’t care about the pie in the +oven,’ says he, ‘I want a pie of my own. Bring me the flour, and the +water, and the butter, and all the things—and, above all, the +rolling-pin—and clear the decks, will you, I say, for my pie. Here +goes!’ And here used to go, my dears, for Master James had no sense, as +I told you; and so he’d shove all my pots and dishes away, one on the top +of the other; and let me be as busy as I would, and dinner ever so near +ready, the dresser must be cleared, and everything must give way to _his_ +pie! His pie, indeed—I wish I had had the management of his pie just +then! I’d have taught him what it was to come shaking the rolling-pin at +the head of a respectable cook, who wanted to get her business done +properly, as in duty bound! + +“But he wasn’t the only one. There was little Whipper-snapper, his +younger brother, squeaking out in another corner, ‘I shan’t make a pie, +James, I shall make toffey; it’s far better fun. You’d better come and +help me. Where’s the treacle pot, Cook? Cook! I say, Cook! where’s the +treacle-pot? And look at this stupid kettle and pan. What’s in the pan, +I wonder? Oh, kidney-beans! Who cares for kidney-beans? How can I make +toffey, when all these things are on the fire? Stay, I’ll hand them all +off!’ + +“And, sure enough, if I hadn’t rushed from Master James, who was drinking +away at my custard out of the bowl, to seize on Whipper-snapper, who had +got his hand on the vegetable-pan already, he would have pulled it and +the kettle, and the whole concern, off the fire, and perhaps scalded +himself to death. + +“Then, of course, there comes a scuffle, and Master Whipper-snapper +begins to roar, and out comes Missus, who, poor thing, had no more sense +in her head than her sons, though she’d never been to school to lose it +over Latin and Greek; and, says she, with all her ribbons streaming, and +her petticoats swelled out like a window-curtain in a draught—says she:— + +“‘Cook! I desire that you will not touch my children!’ + +“‘As you please, ma’am,’ says I, ‘if you’ll be so good as to stop the +young gentlemen from touching my pans, and—’ I was going to say +‘custard,’ but Master James shouts out quite quick:— + +“‘Why, I only wanted to make a pie, mamma.’ + +“‘And I only wanted to make some toffey!’ cries Whipper-snapper; and then +mamma answers, like a duchess at court:— + +“‘There can’t possibly be any objection, my dears; and I wish, Cook, you +would he a little more good-natured to the children;—your temper is sadly +against you!’ + +“And out she sails, ribbons and window-curtains and all; and, says I to +myself, as I cooled down, (for the young gentlemen luckily went away with +their dear mama,)—says I to myself, ‘It’s a very fine thing, no doubt, to +go about in ribbons, and petticoats, and grand clothes; but, if one must +needs carry such a poor, silly head inside them, as Missus does, I’d +rather stop as I am, and be a cook with some sense about me.’ + +“I don’t say, my dears,” continued the supposed cook, “that I spoke very +politely just then; but who could feel polite, when their dinner had been +put back at least half-an-hour over such nonsense as that? Missus used +to say the ‘dear boys’ came to the kitchen on a wet day, because they’d +got _nothing else to do_! Nothing else to do! and had learnt Latin and +Greek, and all sorts of schooling besides! So much for education, +thought I. Why, it would spoil the best lads that ever were born into +the world. For, of course, you know if these young gentlemen had been +put to decent trades, they’d have found something else to do with their +fingers besides mischief and waste. And, dear me, I talk about not +having been polite to Missus just then, but now you tell me, dears, what +Missus, with all her education, would have said if she’d been in my +place, when one young gentleman was drinking her custard, and another +young gentleman was pulling her pans on the floor! Do you think she’d +have been a bit more polite than I was? Wouldn’t she have called me all +the stupid creatures that ever were born, and told the story over and +over to all her friends and acquaintance to make them stare, and say +there were surely no such simpletons in the world as ladies and +gentlemen, and ladies’ and gentlemen’s young ladies and young gentlemen? + +“However, I did not go as far as that, because, you see, I had some sense +about me, and could make allowances for all the nonsense the poor things +are brought up to.” + +There was no resisting the twinkle in Aunt Judy’s eye when she came to +this point, though it shone through an old pair of Nurse’s spectacles; +and the little ones clapped their hands, and declared it was every bit as +good as a Cook story, _only a great deal better_! That twinkle had quite +brought Aunt Judy back to them again, in spite of her cook’s attire, and +No. 6 cried out:— + +“Oh! don’t stop, Aunt Judy! Do go on, Cooky dear! do tell some more! +Did you always live in that place, please?” + +“There now!” exclaimed Aunt Judy, throwing herself back in the chair, +“isn’t that a regular young lady’s question, out and out? Who but a +young lady, with no more sense in her head than a pin, would have thought +of asking such a thing? Why, miss, is there a joint in the world that +can bear basting for ever? No, no! a time comes when it must be taken +down, if any good’s to be left in it; and so at the end of three years my +basting-time was over, and the time for taking down was come. + +“‘Cook,’ says I to myself, ‘you must give in. If you go on with those +cherubs (that was their company name, you know) much longer, there won’t +be a bit of you left!’ And, sure enough, that very morning, dears, +they’d come down upon me with a fresh grievance, and I couldn’t stand it, +I really couldn’t! The sweeps had been by four o’clock to the kitchen +chimney, and I’d been up and toiling every minute since, and hadn’t had +time to eat my breakfast, when in they burst—the young ladies, not the +sweeps, dears, I mean:—and there they broke out at once—I hadn’t fed +their sea-gulls before breakfast—(a couple of dull-looking grey birds, +with big mouths, that had come in a hamper over night as a present to the +cherubs;) and it seems I ought to have been up before daylight almost, to +look for slugs for them in the garden till they’d got used to the place! + +“Oh, these ladies and gentlemen! they’d need know something of some sort +to make amends, for there are many things they never know all their life +long! + +“‘Young ladies,’ says I, ‘I didn’t come here to get meals ready for +sea-gulls, but Christian ladies and gentlemen. If the sea-gulls want a +cook, your mamma must hire them one on purpose. I’ve plenty to do for +her and the family, without looking after such nonsense as that!’ + +“‘That’s what you always say,’ whimpers the youngest Miss; ‘and you know +they don’t want any cooking, but only raw slugs! And you know you might +easily look for them, because you’ve got almost nothing to do, because +it’s such an easy place, mamma always says. But you’re always cross, +mamma says that too, and everybody knows you are, because she tells +everybody!’ + +“When little Miss had got that out, she thought she’d finished me up; and +so she had, for when I heard that Missus was so ungenteel as to go +talking of what I did, to all her acquaintance, and had nothing better to +talk about, I made up my mind that I’d give notice that very day. + +“‘Very well, miss,’ says I, ‘your mamma shall soon have something fresh +to talk about, and I hope she’ll find it a pleasant change.’ + +“There was some of them knew what I meant at once, for after they’d +scampered off I heard shouts up and down the stairs from one to the +other, ‘Cook’s going!’ ‘We shall have a new cook soon!’ ‘What a lark +we’ll have with the toffey and the pies! We’ll make her do just as we +choose!’ + +“‘There, now,’ thought I to myself, ‘there’ll be somebody else put down +to baste before long. Well, I’m glad my time’s over.’ And thereupon I +fell to wishing I was back again in father and mother’s ricketty old +cottage, that I’d once been so proud to leave, to go and live with +gentlefolks. But, you see, it was no use wishing, for I’d my bread to +earn, and must turn out somewhere, let it be as disagreeable as it would. +Father and mother were dead, and there was no ricketty cottage for me to +go back to, so I wiped my eyes, and told myself to make the best of what +had to be. + +“Well, dears,” pursued Cooky, after a short pause, during which the +little ones looked far more inclined to cry than laugh, “Missus was quite +taken aback when she heard I wouldn’t stay any longer. + +“‘Cook,’ she said, ‘I’m perfectly astonished at your want of sense in not +recognizing the value of such a situation as mine! and as to your +complaints about the children, anything more ridiculously unreasonable I +never heard! Such superior, well-taught young people, you are not very +likely to meet with again in a hurry!’ + +“‘Perhaps not, ma’am,’ says I, ‘in French, and crochet, and the piano, +and Latin, and things I don’t understand, being only a cook. But I know +what behaviour is, and that’s what I’m sure the young ladies and +gentlemen have never been taught; or if they have, they’re so slow at +taking it in, that I think I shall do better with a family where the +behaviour-lessons come first!’ + +“Missus was very angry, and so was I; but at last she said:— + +“‘Cook, I shall not argue with you any longer; you know no better, and I +suppose I must make allowances for you.’ + +“‘I’m much obliged to you, ma’am, I’m sure,’ was my answer; ‘it’s what +I’ve always done by you ever since I came to the house, and I’ll do it +still with pleasure, and think no more of what’s been said.’ + +“I spoke from my heart, I can tell you, dears, for I felt very sorry for +Missus, and thought she was but a lady after all, and perhaps I’d hardly +made allowances enough. I’d lost my temper, too, as I knew after she +went away. But, you see, while she was there, it was so mortifying to be +spoken to as if all the sense was on her side, when I knew it was all on +mine, wherever the French and crochet may have been. Well, but the day +before I left, I broke down with another of them, as it’s fair that you +should know. + +“I’d felt very lonely that day, busy as I was, and in the afternoon I +took myself into the scullery to give the pans a sort of good-bye +cleaning, and be out of everybody’s way. But there, in the midst of it, +comes the eldest young gentleman flinging into the kitchen, shouting, +‘Cook! Cook! Where’s Cook?’ as usual. I thought he was after some of +his old tricks, and I _had_ been fretting over those pans, thinking what +a sad job it was to have no home to go to in the world, so I gave him a +very short answer. + +“‘Master James,’ says I, ‘I’ve done with nonsense now, I can’t attend to +you. You must wait till the next cook comes.’ + +“But Master James came straight away to the scullery door, and says he, +‘Cook, I’m not coming to teaze. I’ve brought you a needle-book. There, +Cook! It’s full of needles. I put them all in myself. Keep it, +please.’ + +“Dear, dear, I can’t forget it yet,” pursued Cook, “how Master James +stood on the little stone step of the scullery, with his arm stretched +out, and the needle-book that he’d bought for me in his hand. I don’t +know how I thanked him, I’m sure; but I had to go back to the sink and +wash the dirt off my hands before I could touch the pretty little thing, +and then I told him I would keep it as long as ever I lived. + +“He laughed, and says he, ‘Now shake hands, Cooky,’ and so we shook +hands; and then off he ran, and I went back to my pans and fairly cried. +‘Why, Cook,’ says I to myself, ‘that lad’s got as good a heart as your +own, after all. And as to sense and behaviour, they haven’t been forced +upon him yet, as they have upon you. Latin’s Latin, and conduct’s +conduct, and one doesn’t teach the other; and it’s too bad to expect more +of people than what they’ve had opportunity for.’ + +“Well, dears, that was the rule I always went by, and I’ve been in many +situations since—with single ladies, and single gentlemen, and large +families, and all; and there was something to put up with in all of them; +and they always told me there was a good deal to put up with in me, and +perhaps there was. However, it doesn’t matter, so long as Missus and +servant go by one rule—_to make allowances_, _and not expect more from +people than what they’ve had opportunity for_; and, above all, never to +be cocky when all the advantage is on their own side. It’s a good rule, +dears, and will stop many a foolish word and idle tale, if you’ll go by +it.” + +Aunt Judy had finished at last, and she took off the old spectacles and +laid them on the doll’s table, and paused. + +“It _is_ a good rule,” observed No. 4, “and I shall go by it, and not +tell real Cook Stories when I grow up, I hope.” + +“I love old Cooky,” cried No. 6, getting up and hugging her round the +neck; “but is it wrong, Aunt Judy, to tell funny make-believe Cook +Stories, like ours?” + +“Not at all, No. 6,” replied Aunt Judy. “My private belief is, that if +you tell funny make-believe Cook Stories while you’re little, you will be +ashamed of telling stupid real ones when you’re grown up.” + + + + +RABBITS’ TAILS. + + + “Death and its two-fold aspect! wintry—one, + Cold, sullen, blank, from hope and joy shut out; + The other, which the ray divine hath touch’d, + Replete with vivid promise, bright as spring.” + + WORDSWORTH. + +“WELL then; but you must remember that I have been ill, and cannot be +expected to invent anything very entertaining.” + +“Oh, we do remember, indeed, Aunt Judy; we have been so miserable,” was +the answer; and the speaker added, shoving her little chair close up to +her sister’s:— + +“I said if you were not to get better, I shouldn’t want to get better +either.” + +“Hush, hush, No. 6!” exclaimed Aunt Judy, quite startled by the +expression; “it was not right to say or think that.” + +“I couldn’t help it,” persisted No. 6. “We couldn’t do without you, I’m +sure.” + +“We can do without anything which God chooses to take away,” was Aunt +Judy’s very serious answer. + +“But I didn’t want to do without,” murmured No. 6, with her eyes fixed on +the floor. + +“Dear No. 6, I know,” replied Aunt Judy, kindly; “but that is just what +you must try not to feel.” + +“I can’t help feeling it,” reiterated No. 6, still looking down. + +“You have not tried, or thought about it yet,” suggested her sister; “but +do think. Think what poor ignorant infants we all are in the hands of +God, not knowing what is either good or bad for us; and then you will see +how glad and thankful you ought to be, to be chosen for by somebody wiser +than yourself. We must always be contented with God’s choice about +whatever happens.” + +No. 6 still looked down, as if she were studying the pattern of the rug, +but she saw nothing of it, for her eyes were swimming over with the tears +that had filled into them, and at last she said:— + +“I could, perhaps, about some things, but _only not that_ about you. +Aunt Judy, you know what I mean.” + +Aunt Judy leant back in her chair. “_Only not that_.” It was, as she +knew, the cry of the universal world, although it broke now from the lips +of a child. And it was painful, though touching, to feel herself the +treasure that could not be parted with. + +So there was a silence of some minutes, during which the hand of the +little sister lay in that of the elder one. + +But the latter soon roused up and spoke. + +“I’ll tell you what, No. 6, there’s nothing so foolish as talking of how +we shall feel, and what we shall do, if so-and-so happens. Perhaps it +never may happen, or, if it does, perhaps we may be helped to bear it +quite differently from what we have expected. So we won’t say anything +more about it now.” + +“I’m so glad!” exclaimed No. 6, completely reassured and made comfortable +by the cheerful tone of her sister’s remark, though she had but a very +imperfect idea of the meaning of it, as she forthwith proved by rambling +off into a sort of self-defence and self-justification. + +“And I’m not really a baby now, you know, Aunt Judy! And I do know a +great many things that are good and bad for us. I know that _you_ are +good for us, even when you scold over sums.” + +“That is a grand admission, I must own,” replied Aunt Judy, smiling; “I +shall remind you of it some day.” + +“Well, you may,” cried No. 6, earnestly; and added, “you see I’m not half +as silly as you thought.” + +Aunt Judy looked at her, wondering how she should get the child to +understand what was passing through her own mind; wondering, too whether +it was right to make the attempt; and she decided that on the whole it +was; so she answered:— + +“Ay, we grow wise enough among ourselves as we grow older, and get to +know a few more things. You are certainly a little wiser than a baby in +long petticoats, and I am a little wiser than you, and mamma wiser than +us both. But towards God we remain ignorant infants all our lives. That +was what I meant.” + +“But surely, Aunt Judy,” interrupted No. 6, “mamma and you know—” There +she stopped. + +“Nothing about God’s dealings,” pursued Aunt Judy, “but that they are +sure to be good for us, even when we like them least, and cannot +understand them at all. We know so little what we ought really to like +and dislike, dear No. 6, that we often fret and cry as foolishly as the +two children did, who, while they were in mourning for their mother, +broke their hearts over the loss of a set of rabbits’ tails.” + +No. 6 sprang up at the idea. She had never heard of those children +before. Who were they? Had Aunt Judy read of them in a book, or were +they real children? How could they have broken their hearts about +rabbits’ tails? It must be a very curious story, and No. 6 begged to +hear it. + +Aunt Judy had, however, a little hesitation about the matter. There was +something sad about the story; and there was no exact teaching to be got +out of it, though certainly if it helped to shake No. 6’s faith in her +own wisdom, a good effect would be produced by listening to it. Also it +was not a bad thing now and then to hear of other people having to bear +trials which have not fallen to our own lot. It must surely have a +tendency to soften the heart, and make us feel more dependent upon the +God who gives and takes away. On the whole, therefore, she would tell +the story, so she made No. 6 sit quietly down again, and began as +follows:— + +“There were once upon a time two little motherless girls.” + +No. 6’s excitement of expectation was hardly over, so she tightened her +hand over Aunt Judy’s, and ejaculated:— + +“Poor little things!” + +“You may well say so,” continued Aunt Judy. “It was just what everybody +said who saw them at the time. When they went about with their widowed +father in the country village where ‘they lived, even the poor women who +stood at their cottage door-steads, would look after them when they had +passed, and say with a sigh:— + +“‘Poor little things!’ + +“When they went up to London in the winter to stay with their grandmamma, +and walked about in the Square in their little black frocks and +crape-trimmed bonnets, the ladies who saw them,—even comparative +strangers,—would turn round arid say:— + +“‘Poor little things!’ + +“If visitors came to call at the house, and the children were sent for +into the room, there was sure to be a whispered exclamation directly +among the grown-up people of, ‘Poor little things!’ But oh, No. 6! the +children themselves did not think about it at all. What did they +know,—poor little things,—of the real misfortune which had befallen them! +They were sorry, of course, at first, when they did not see their mamma +as usual, and when she did not come back to them as soon as they +expected. But some separation had taken place during her illness; and +sometimes before, she had been poorly and got well again; and sometimes +she had gone out visiting, and they had had to do without her till she +returned; and so, although the days and weeks of her absence went on to +months, still it was only the same thing they had felt before, continued +rather longer; and meantime the little events of each day rose up to +distract their attention. They got up, and dined, and went to bed as +usual. They were sometimes merry, sometimes naughty, as usual. People +made them nice presents, or sent for them to pleasant treats, as +usual—perhaps more than usual; their father did all he could to supply +the place of the lost one, but never could name her name; and soon they +forgot that they had ever had a mamma at all. Soon? Ay, long before +friends and strangers lead left off saying ‘Poor little things’ at sight +of them, and long before the black frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets were +laid aside, which, indeed, they wore double the usual length of time.” + +“And how old were they?” asked No. 6, in a whisper. + +“Four and five,” replied Aunt Judy; “old enough to know what they liked +and disliked from hour to hour. Old enough to miss what had pleased +them, till something else pleased them as well. But not old enough to +look forward and know how much a mother is wanted in life; and, +therefore, what a terrible loss the loss of a mother is.” + +“It’s a very sad story I’m afraid,” remarked No. 6. + +“Not altogether,” said Aunt Judy, smiling, “as you shall hear. One day +the two little motherless girls went hand in hand across one of the +courts of the great Charity Institution in London, where their grandmamma +lived, into the old archway entrance, and there they stood still, looking +round them, as if waiting for something. The old archway entrance opened +into a square, and underneath its shelter there was a bench on one side, +and on the other the lodge of the porter, whose business it was to shut +up the great gates at night. + +“The porter had often before looked at the motherless children as they +passed into the shadow of his archway, and said to himself, ‘Poor little +things;’ for just so, during many years of his life, he had watched their +young mother pass through, and had exchanged words of friendly greeting +with her. + +“And even now, although it was at least a year and a half since her +death, when he saw the waiting children seat themselves on the bench +opposite his door, the old thought stole over his mind. How sad that she +should have been taken away so early from those little ones! How sad for +them to be left! No one—nothing—in this world, could supply the loss of +her protecting care.—_Poor little things_!—and not the less so because +they were altogether unconscious of their misfortune; and here, with the +mourning casting a gloom over their fair young faces, were looking with +the utmost eagerness and delight towards the doorway,—now and then +slipping down from their seats to take a peep into the Square, and see if +what they expected was coming,—now and then giggling to each other about +the grave face of the old man on the other side of the way. + +“At last, one, who had been peeping a bit as before, exclaimed, with a +smothered shout, ‘Here he is!’ and then the other joined her, and the two +rushed out together into the Square and stood on the pavement, stopping +the way in front of a lad, who held over his arm a basket containing +hares’ and rabbits’ skins, in which he carried on a small trade. + + [Picture: Here he is] + +“They looked up with their smiling faces into his, and he grinned at them +in return, and then they said, ‘Have you got any for us to-day?’ on which +he set down his basket before them, and told them they might have one or +two if they pleased, and down they knelt upon the pavement, examining the +contents of his basket, and talked in almost breathless whispers to each +other of the respective merits, the softness, colour, and prettiness, +of—what do you think?” + +At the first moment No. 6, being engrossed by the story, could not guess +at all; but in another instant she recollected, and exclaimed:— + +“Oh, Aunt Judy, do you mean those were the rabbits’ tails you told +about?” + +“They were indeed, No. 6,” replied Aunt Judy; “their grandmamma’s cook +had given them one or two sometime before, and there being but few +entertaining games which two children can play at alone, and these poor +little things being a good deal left to themselves, they invented a play +of their own out of the rabbits’ tails. I think the pleasant feel of the +fur, which was so nice to cuddle and kiss, helped them to this odd +liking; but whatever may have been the cause, certain it is they did get +quite fond of them—pretended that they could feel, and were real living +things, and talked of them, and to them, as if they were a party of +children. + +“They called them ‘Tods’ and ‘Toddies,’ but they had all sorts of names +besides, to distinguish one from the other. There was, ‘Whity,’ and +‘Browny,’ and ‘Softy,’ and ‘Snuggy,’ and ‘Stripy,’ and many others. They +knew almost every hair of each of them, and I believe could have told +which was which, in the dark, merely by their feel. + +“This sounds ridiculous enough, does it not, dear No. 6?” said Aunt Judy, +interrupting herself. + +No. 6 smiled, but she was too much interested to wish to talk; so the +story proceeded. + +“Now you must know that I have looked rather curiously at hares’ and +rabbits’ tails myself since I first heard the story; and there actually +is more variety in them than you would suppose. Some are nice little fat +things—almost round, with the hair close and fine; others longer and more +skinny, and with poor hair, although what there is may be of a handsome +colour. And as to colour, even in rabbits’ tails, which are white +underneath, there are all shades from grey to dark brown one the upper +side; and the patterns and markings differ, as you know they do on the +fur of a cat. In short, there really is a choice even in hares’ and +rabbits’ tails, and the more you look at them, the more delicate +distinctions you will see. + +“Well, the poor little girls knew all about this, and a great deal more, +I dare say, than I have noticed, for they had played at fancy-life with +them, till the Tods had become far more to them than any toys they +possessed; actually, in fact, things to love; and I dare say if we could +have watched them at night putting their Tods to bed, we should have seen +every one of them kissed. + +“It was a capital thing, as you may suppose, for keeping the children +quiet as well as happy in the nursery, at the top of the London house, in +one particular corner of which the basket of Tods was kept. But when +grandmamma’s bell rang, which it did day by day as a summons, after the +parlour breakfast was over, the Tods were put away; and it was dolls, or +reasonable toys of some description, which the motherless little girls +took down with them to the drawing-room; and I doubt whether either +grandmamma or aunt knew of the Tod family in the basket up-stairs. + +“After the affair had gone on for a little time, the children were +accidentally in the kitchen when the rabbit-skin dealer called, and the +cook begged him to give them a tail or two; and thenceforth, of course, +they looked upon him as one of their greatest friends; and if they wanted +fresh Tods, they would lie in wait for him in the archway entrance, for +fear he should go by without coming in to call at their grandmamma’s +house. And on the day I have described, two new brothers, ‘Furry’ and +‘Buffy,’ were introduced to the Tod establishment, and the talking and +delight that ensued, lasted for the whole afternoon. + +“Nobody knew, I believe; but certainly if anybody had known how the +hearts of those children were getting involved over the dead rabbits’ +tails, it would have been only right to have tried to lead their +affection into some better direction. What a waste of good emotions it +was, when they cuddled up their Tods in an evening; invented histories of +what they had said and done during the day, and put them by at last with +caresses something very nearly akin to human love!” + +“Oh, dear Aunt Judy,” exclaimed No. 6, “if their poor mamma had but been +there!” + +“All would have been right then, would it not, No. 6?” + +No. 6 said “Yes” from the very depths of her heart. + +“_As it seems to us_, you should say,” continued Aunt Judy; “but that is +all. It could not have seemed so to the God who took their mother away.” + +“Aunt Judy—” + +“No. 6, I am telling you a very serious truth. Had it indeed been right +for the children that their mother should have lived, she would _not_ +have been taken away. For some reason or other it was necessary that +they should be without the comfort, and help, and protection, of her +presence in this world. We cannot understand it, but a time may come +when we may see it all as clearly as we now see the folly of those +children who so doted upon senseless rabbits’ tails.” + +“Oh, Aunt Judy, but it was still very, very sad.” + +“Yes, about that there cannot be a doubt, and I am as much inclined as +anybody else to say, ‘Poor little things’ every time I mention them. But +now let me go on with the story, for it has a sort of end as well as +beginning. The Tod affair came at last to their grandmamma’s ears.” + +“I am so glad,” cried No. 6. + +“You will not say so when I tell you how it happened,” was Aunt Judy’s +rejoinder. “The fact was, that one unfortunate day one of the Tods +disappeared. Whether it lead been left out of the basket when +grandmamma’s bell rang, and so got swept away by the nurse and burnt, I +cannot say; but, at any rate, when the children went to their play one +morning, ‘Softy,’ their dear little ‘Softy,’ was gone. He was the +fattest-furred and finest-haired of all the Tod family, and the one about +whom they invented the prettiest stories; he was, in fact, the model, the +out-of-the-way-amiable pattern Tod. They could not believe at first that +he really was gone. They hunted for him in every hole and corner of +their nursery and bed-room; they looked for him all along the passages; +they tossed all the other Tods out of the basket to find him, as if they +really were—even in their eyes—nothing but rabbits’ tails; they asked all +the servants about him, till everybody’s patience was exhausted, and they +got angry; and then at last the children’s hope and temper were both +exhausted too, and they broke out into passionate crying. + +“This was vexatious to the nurse, of course; but her method of +consolation was not very judicious. + +“‘Why, bless my heart,’ was her beginning, ‘what nonsense! Didn’t the +children know as well as she did, that hares’ and rabbits’ tails were not +alive, and couldn’t feel? and what could it signify of one of them was +thrown away and lost? They’d a basket-full left besides, and it was +plenty of such rubbish as that! They were all very well to play with up +in the nursery, but they were worth nothing when all was said and done!’ + +“This was completely in vain, of course. The children sat on the nursery +floor and cried on just the same; and by-and-by went away to the corner +of the room where the Tod-basket was kept, and bewailed the loss of poor +‘Softy’ to his brothers and sisters inside. + +“As the time approached, however, for grandmamma’s summoning bell, the +nurse began to wonder what she could do to stop this fretting, and cool +the red eyes; so she tried the coaxing plan, by way of a change. + +“‘If she was such nice little girls with beautiful dolls and toys, she +never would fret so about a rabbit’s tail, to be sure! And, besides, the +boy was sure to be round again very soon with the hare and rabbit skins; +and if they would only be good, and dry their eyes, she would get him to +give them as many more as they pleased. Quite fresh new ones. She dared +say they would be as pretty again as the one that was lost.’ + +“If nurse had wished to hit upon an injudicious remark, she could not +have succeeded better. What did they care for ‘fresh new’ Tods instead +of their dear ‘Softy?’ And the mere suggestion that any others could be +prettier, turned their regretful love into a sort of passionate +indignation; yet the nurse had meant well, and was astonished when the +conclusion of what was intended to be a kind harangue, was followed by a +louder burst of crying than ever. + +“It must be owned that the little girls had by this time got out of grief +into naughtiness; and there was now quite as much petted temper as sorrow +in their tears; and lo! while they were in the midst of this fretful +condition, grandmamma’s summoning bell was heard, and they were obliged +to go down to her. + +“You can just imagine their appearance when they entered the drawing-room +with their eyes red and swelled, their cheeks flushed, and anything but a +pleasant expression over their faces. Of course, grandmamma and aunt +immediately made inquiries as to the reason of so much disturbance, but +the children were scarcely able to utter the usual ‘good morning;’ and +when called upon to tell their cause of trouble, did nothing but begin to +cry afresh. + +“Whereupon their aunt was dispatched up-stairs to find out what was +amiss; and then, for the first time, she heard from the nurse the history +of the Tod family, the children’s devotion to them, and their present +vexatious grief about the loss of a solitary one of what she called their +stupid bits of nonsense. + +“Foolish as the whole affair sounds in looking back upon it, it certainly +was one which required rather delicate handling, and I doubt whether +anybody but a mother could have handled it properly. Grandmamma and aunt +had every wish to do for the best, but they hardly took enough into +consideration, either the bereaved condition of those motherless little +ones, or their highly fanciful turn of mind. Yet nobody was to blame; +the children spent all the summer with their father in the country, and +all the winter with their grandmamma in London; and, therefore, no +continued knowledge of their characters was possible, for they were +always birds of passage everywhere. Certainly, however, it was a great +mistake, under such circumstances, for grandmamma and aunt to have broken +rudely into the one stronghold of childish comfort, which they had raised +up for themselves.” + +Aunt Judy paused, and No. 6 really looked frightened as to what was +coming next, and asked what Aunt Judy could mean that they did. “Were +they very angry?” + +“No, they were not very angry,” Aunt Judy said; “perhaps if they had been +only that, the whole thing would have passed over and been forgotten. + +“But they held grave consultation upon the subject, and made it too +serious, in my opinion, and I dare say you will think so too. Meantime +the naughty children were turned out of the room while they talked, and +the mystery of this, sobered their temper considerably; so that they made +no further disturbance, but wandered up and down the stairs, and about +the hall, in silent discomfort. + +“At one time they thought they heard the drawing-room door open, and +their aunt go up-stairs towards the nursery department again; but then +for a long while they heard no more; and at last, childlike, began to +amuse themselves by seeing how far along the oil-cloth pattern they could +each step, as they walked the length of the hall, the great object being +to stretch from one particular diamond to another, without touching any +intermediate mark. + +“In the midst of the excitement of this, they heard their aunt’s voice +calling to them from the middle of the last flight of stairs. There was +something in her face, composed as it was, which alarmed them directly, +and there they stood quite still, gazing at her. + +“‘Grandmamma and I,’ she began, ‘think you have been very silly indeed in +making such a fuss about those rabbits’ tails; and you have been very +naughty indeed to-day, _very naughty_, in crying so ridiculously, and +teazing all the servants, because of one being lost. You can’t play with +them rationally, nurse is sure, and so we think you will be very much +better without them. Grandmamma has sent me to tell you—_You will never +see the Tods_, _as you call them_, _any more_.’ + +“Aunt Judy, it was horrible!” cried No. 6; “savage and horrible!” she +repeated, and burst the next instant into a flood of tears. + +“Oh, my old darling No. 6,” cried Aunt Judy, covering the sobbing child +quite round with both her arms, “surely _you_ are not going into +hysterics about the rabbits’ tails too! I doubt if even their little +mammas did that. Come! you must cheer up, or mamma will leave to be sent +for to say that if you are so unreasonable, you must never listen to Aunt +Judy’s stories any more.” + +No. 6’s emotion began to subside under the comfortable embrace, and Aunt +Judy’s joke provoked a smile. + +“There now, that’s good!” cried Aunt Judy; “and now, if you won’t be +ridiculous, I will finish the story. I almost think the prettiest part +is to come.” + +This was consolation indeed; but No. 6 could not resist a remark. + +“But, Aunt Judy, wasn’t that aunt—” + +“Hush, hush,” interrupted Aunt Judy, “I apologized for both aunt and +grandmamma before I told you what they did. They meant to do for the +best, and + + ‘The best can do no more.’ + +They cured the evil too, though in what you and I think rather a rough +manner. And rough treatment is sometimes very effectual, however +unpleasant. It was but a preparation for the much harder disappointments +of older life.” + +“Poor little things!” ejaculated No. 6, once more. “Just tell me if they +cried dreadfully.” + +“I don’t think I care to talk much about that, dear No. 6,” answered her +sister. “They had cried almost as much as they could do in one day, and +were stupified by the new misfortune, besides which, they had a feeling +all the time of having brought it on themselves by being dreadfully +naughty. It was a sad muddle altogether, I must confess. The shock upon +the poor children’s minds at the time must have been very great, for the +memory of that bereavement clung to them through grown-up life, as a very +unpleasant recollection, when a thousand more important things had passed +away forgotten from their thoughts. In fact, as I said, the motherless +little girls really broke their hearts over a parcel of rabbits’ tails. +But I must go on with the story. After a day or two of dull desolation, +the children wearied even of their grief. And both grandmamma and aunt +became very sorry for them, although the fatal subject of the Tods was +never mentioned; but they bought them several beautiful toys which no +child could help looking at or being pleased with. Among these presents +was a brown fur dog, with a very nice face and a pair of bright black +eyes, and a curly tail hung over his back in a particularly graceful +manner; and this was, as you may suppose, in the children’s eyes, the gem +of all their new treasures. The feel of him reminded them of the lost +Tods; and in every respect he was, of course, superior. They named him +‘Carlo,’ and in a quiet manner established him as the favourite creature +of their play. And thus, by degrees, and as time went on, their grief +for the loss of the Tods abated somewhat; and at last they began to talk +about them to each other, which was a sure sign that their feelings were +softened. + +“But you will never guess what turn their conversation took. They did +not begin to say how sorry they had been, or were; nor did they make any +angry remarks about their aunt’s cruelty; but one day as they were +sitting playing with Carlo, in what may be called the Tod corner of the +nursery, the eldest child said suddenly to her sister, in a low voice + +“‘What do you think our aunt has _really_ done with the Tods?’ + +“A question which seemed not at all to surprise the other, for she +answered, in the same mysterious tone:— + +“‘I don’t know, but I don’t think she _could_ burn them.’ + +“‘And I don’t, either,’ was the rejoinder. ‘Perhaps she has only put +them somewhere where _we_ cannot get at them.’ + +“The next idea came from the younger child:— + +“‘Do you think she’ll ever let us have them back again?’ + +“But the answer to this was a long shake of the head from the wiser elder +sister. And then they began to play with Carlo again. + +“But after that day they used often to exchange a few words together on +the subject, although only to the same effect—their aunt _could_ not have +burnt them, they felt sure. She never said she had burnt them. She only +said, ‘_You will never see the Tods any more_.’ + +“Perhaps she had only put them by; perhaps she had put them by in some +comfortable place; perhaps they were in their little basket in some +closet, or corner of the house, quite as snug as up in the nursery. + +“And here the conversation would break off again. As to asking any +questions of their aunt, _that_ was a thing that never crossed their +minds. It was impossible; the subject was so fatally serious! . . . But +I believe there was an involuntary peeping about into closets and +out-of-the-way places whenever opportunity offered; yet no result +followed, and the Tods were not found. + +“One night, two or three months later, and just before the little things +were moved back from London to their country home; and when they were in +bed in their sleeping room, as usual, and the nurse had left them, and +had shut the door between them and the day nursery, where she sat at +work, the elder child called out in a whisper to the younger one:— + +“‘Sister, are you asleep?’ + +“‘No. Why?’ + +“‘I’ll tell you of a place where the Tods may be.’ + +“‘Where?’ + +“‘The cellar.’ + +“‘Do you think so?’ + +“‘Yes. I think we’ve looked everywhere else. And I think perhaps it’s +very nice down there with bits of sawdust here and there on the ground. +I saw some on the bottle to-day, and it was quite soft. Aunt would be +quite sure we should never see them there. I dare say it’s very snug +indeed all among the barrels and empty bottles in that cellar we once +peeped into.’ + +“The younger child here began to laugh in delighted amusement, but the +elder one bade her ‘hush,’ or the nurse would hear them; and then +proceeded whispering as before + +“‘It’s a great big place, and they could each have a house, and visit +each other, and hide, and make fun.’ + +“‘And I dare say Softy was put there first,’ interposed the younger +sister. + +“‘Ay, and how pleased the others would be to find him there! Only +think!’ + +“And they _did_ think. Poor little things, they lay and thought of that +meeting when ‘the others’ were put in the cellar where ‘Softy’ already +was, ready to welcome them to his new home; and they talked of all that +might have happened on such an occasion, and told each other that the +Tods were much happier altogether there, than if the others had remained +in the nursery separated from dear little Softy. In short, they talked +till the door opened, and the nurse, unsuspicious of the state of her +young charges, went to bed herself, and sleep fell on the whole party. + +“But a new world had now opened before them out of the very midst of +their sorrow itself. The fancy home of the Tods was almost a more +available source of amusement, than even playing with the real things had +been; and sometimes in the early morning, sometimes for the precious +half-hour at night, before sleep overtook them, the little wits went to +work with fresh details and suppositions, and they related to each other, +in turns, the imaginary events of the day in the cellar among the +barrels. Each morning, when they went down-stairs, Carlo was put in the +Tod corner of the nursery and instructed to slip away, as soon as he +could manage it, to the Tods in the cellar, and hear all that they had +been about. + +“And marvellous tales Mr. Carlo used to bring back, if the children’s +accounts to each other were to be trusted. Such running about, to be +sure, took place among those barrels and empty bottles. Such playing at +bo-peep. Such visits of ‘Furry’ and his family to ‘Buffy’ and _his_ +family, when the little ‘Furrys’ and ‘Buffys’ could not be kept in order, +but would go peeping into bungholes, and tumbling nearly through, and +having to be picked out by Carlo, drabbled and chilled, but ready for a +fresh frolic five minutes after! + +“Such comical disputes, too, they had, as to how far the grounds round +each Tod’s house extended; such funny adventures of getting into their +neighbour’s corner instead of their own, in the dim light that prevailed, +and being mistaken for a thief; when Carlo had to come and act as judge +among them, and make them kiss and be friends all round! + +“Such dinners, too, Carlo brought them, as he passed through the kitchen +on his road to the cellar, and watched his opportunity to carry off a few +un-missed little bits for his friends below. Dear me! his contrivances +on that score were endless, and the odd things he got hold of sometimes +by mistake, in his hurry, were enough to kill the Tods with laughing—to +say nothing of the children who were inventing the history! + +“Then the care they took to save the little drops at the bottom of the +bottles, for Carlo, in return for all the trouble he had, was most +praiseworthy; and sometimes, when there was a rather larger quantity than +usual, they would have _such_ a feast!—and drink the healths of their +dear little mistresses in the nursery up-stairs. + +“In short, it was as perfect a fancy as their love for the Tods, and +their ideas of enjoyment could make it. Nothing uncomfortable, nothing +sad, was ever heard of in that cellar-home of their lost pets. No +quarrelling, no crying, no naughtiness, no unkindness, were supposed to +trouble it. Nothing was known of, there, but comfort and fun, and +innocent blunders and jokes, which ended in fun and comfort again. One +thing, therefore, you see, was established as certain throughout the +whole of the childish dream:—the departed favourites were all perfectly +happy, as happy as it was possible to be; and they sent loving messages +by Carlo to their old friends to say so, and to beg them not to be sorry +for _them_, for, excepting that they would like some day to see those old +friends again, they had nothing left to wish for in their new home:— + +“And here the Tod story ends!” remarked Aunt Judy, in conclusion, “and I +beg you to observe, No. 6, that, like all my stories, it ends happily. +The children had now got hold of an amusement which was safe from +interference, and which lasted—I am really afraid to say how long; for +even after the fervour of their Tod love had abated, they found an +endless source of invention and enjoyment in the cellar-home romance, and +told each other anecdotes about it, from time to time, for more, I +believe, than a year.” + +When Aunt Judy paused here, as if expecting some remark, all that No. 6 +could say, was:— + +“Poor little things!” + +“Ay, they were still that,” exclaimed Aunt Judy, “even in the midst of +their new-found comfort. Oh, No. 6, when one thinks of the strange way +in which they first of all created a sorrow for themselves, and then +devised for themselves its consolation, what a pity it seems that no good +was got out of it!” + +It was not likely that No. 6 should guess what the good was which Aunt +Judy thought might have been got out of it; and so she said; whereupon +Aunt Judy explained:— + +“Did it not offer a quite natural opportunity,—if any kind friend had but +known of it,—of speaking to those children of some of the sacred hopes of +our Christian faith?—of leading them, through kind talk about their own +pretty fancies, to the subject of _what really becomes_ of the dear +friends who are taken away from us by death? + +“Had I been _their_ Aunt Judy,” she continued, “I should have thought it +no cruelty, but kindness then, to have spoken to them about their lost +mother, and told them that she was living now in a place where she was +much, much happier, than she had ever been before, and where one of the +very few things she had left to wish for, was, that one day she might see +them again: not in this world, where people are so often uncomfortable +and sad, but in that happy one where there is no more sorrow, or crying, +for God Himself wipes away the tears from all eyes. + +“I should have told them besides,” pursued Aunt Judy, “that it would not +please their dear mother at all for them to fret for her, and _fancy they +couldn’t do without her_, and be discontented because God had taken her +away, and think it would have been much better for them if He had not +done so—(as if He did not know a thousand times better than they could +do:)—but that it would please her very much for them to pray to God to +make them good, so that they might all meet together at last in that very +happy place. + +“In short, No. 6, I would have led them, if possible, to make a +comforting reality to themselves of the next world, as they had already +got a comforting fancy out of the cellar-dream of the Tods. And that is +the good, dear child, which I meant might have been got out of the Tod +adventure.” + +Aunt Judy ceased, but there was no chance of seeing the effect of what +she had said on No. 6’s face, for it was laid on her sister’s lap; +probably to hide the tears which would come into her eyes at Aunt Judy’s +allusion to what she had said about _her_. + +At last a rather husky voice spoke:— + +“You can’t expect people to like what is so very sad, even if it is—what +you call—right—and all that.” + +“No! neither does God expect it!” was Aunt Judy’s earnest reply. “We are +allowed to be sorry when trials come, for we feel the suffering, and +cannot at present understand the blessing or necessity of it. But we are +not allowed to ‘sorrow without hope;’ and we are not allowed, even when +we are most sorry, to be rebellious, and fancy we could choose better for +ourselves than God chooses for us.” + +Aunt Judy’s lesson, as well as story, was ended now, and she began +talking over the entertaining part of the Tod history, and then went on +to other things, till No. 6 was quite herself again, and wanted to know +how much was true about the motherless little girls; and when she found +from Aunt Judy’s answer that the account was by no means altogether an +invention, she went into a fever-fidget to know who the children were, +and what had become of them; and finally settled that the one thing in +the world she most wished for, was to see them. + +Nor would she be persuaded that this was a foolish idea, until Aunt Judy +asked her how she would like to be introduced to a couple of _very_ old +women, with huge hooked noses, and beardy, nut-cracker chins, and be told +that _those_ were the motherless little girls who had broken their hearts +over rabbits’ tails!—an inquiry which tickled No. 6’s fancy immensely, so +that she began to laugh, and suggest a few additions of her own to the +comical picture, in the course of doing which, she fortunately quite lost +sight of the “one thing” which a few minutes before she had “most wished +for in the world!” + + + + +“OUT OF THE WAY” + + + “Oh wonderful Son that can so astonish a Mother!” + + HAMLET. + +“WHAT a horrid nuisance you are, No. 8, brushing everything down as you +go by! Why can’t you keep out of the way?” + +“Oh, you mustn’t come here, No. 8. Aunt Judy, look! he’s sitting on my +doll’s best cloak. Do tell him to go away.” + +“I can’t have you bothering me, No. 8; don’t you see how busy I am, +packing? Get away somewhere else.” + +“You should squeeze yourself into less than nothing, and be nowhere, No. +8.” + +The suggestion, (uttered with a jocose grin,) came from a small boy who +had ensconced himself in the corner of a window, where he was sitting on +his heels, painting the Union Jack of a ship in the _Illustrated London +News_. He had certainly acted on the advice he gave, as nearly as was +possible. Surely no little boy of his age ever got into so small a +compass before, or in a position more effectually out of everybody’s +possible way. The window corner led nowhere, and there was nothing in it +for anybody to want. + +“No. 8, I never saw anything so tiresome as you are. Why will you poke +your nose in where you’re not wanted? You’re always in the way.” + + “‘He poked his flat nose into every place;’” + +sung, _sotto voce_, by the small boy in the window corner. + +No. 8 did not stop to dispute about it, though, in point of fact, his +nose was not flat, so at least in that respect he did not resemble the +duck in the song. + +He had not, however, been successful in gaining the attention of his +friends down-stairs, so he dawdled off to make an experiment in another +quarter. + +“Why, you’re not coming into the nursery now, Master No. 8, surely! I +can’t do with you fidgetting about among all the clothes and packing. +There isn’t a minute to spare. You might keep out of the way till I’ve +finished.” + +“Now, Master No. 8, you must be off. There’s no time or room for you in +the kitchen this morning. There’s ever so many things to get ready yet. +Run away as fast as you can.” + +“What _are_ you doing in the passages, No. 8? Don’t you see that you are +in everybody’s way? You had really better go to bed again.” + +But the speaker hurried forward, and No. 8 betook himself to the +staircase, and sat down exactly in the middle of the middle flight. And +there be amused himself by peeping through the banisters into the hall, +where people were passing backwards and forwards in a great fuss; or +listening to the talking and noise that were going on in the rooms above. + +But be was not “out of the way” there, as he soon learnt. Heavy steps +were presently heard along the landing, and heavy steps began to descend +the stairs. Two men were carrying down a heavy trunk. + +“You’ll have to move, young gentleman, if you please,” observed one; +“you’re right in the way just there!” + +No. 8 descended with all possible speed, and arrived on the mat at the +bottom. + +“There now, I told you, you were always in the way,” was the greeting he +received. “How stupid it is! Try under the table, for pity’s sake.” + +Under the table! it was not a bad idea; moreover, it was a new one—quite +a fresh plan. No. 8 grinned and obeyed. The hall table was no bad +asylum, after all, for a little boy who was always in the way everywhere +else; besides, he could see everything that was going on. No. 8 crept +under, and squatted himself on the cocoa-nut matting. He looked up, and +looked round, and felt rather as if he was in a tent, only with a very +substantial covering over his head. + +Presently the dog passed by, and was soon coaxed to lie down in the table +retreat by the little boy’s side, and the two amused themselves very +nicely together. The fact was, the family were going from home, and the +least the little ones could do during the troublesome preparation, was +not to be troublesome themselves; but this is sometimes rather a +difficult thing for little ones to accomplish. Nevertheless, No. 8 had +accomplished it at last. + +“Capital, No. 8! you and the dog are quite a picture. If I had time, I +would make a sketch of you.” + +That was the remark of the first person who went by afterwards, and No. 8 +grinned as he heard it. + +“Well done, No. 8! that’s the best contrivance I ever saw!” + +Remark the second, followed by a second grin. + +“Why, you don’t mean to say that you’re under the table, Master No. 8? +Well you _are_ a good boy! I’m sure I’ll tell your mamma.” + +Another grin. + +“You dear old fellow, to put yourself so nicely out of the way! You’re +worth I don’t know what.” + +Grin again. + +“Master No. 8 under the table, to be sure! Well, and a very nice place +it is, and quite suitable. Ever so much better than the hot kitchen, +when there’s baking and all sorts of things going on. Here, lovey! +here’s a little cake that was spared, that I was taking to the parlour; +but, as you’re there, you shall have it.” + +No. 8 grinned with all his heart this time. + +“I wish I’d thought of that! Why, I could have painted my ship there +without being squeezed!” + +It needs scarcely to be told that this was the observation of the small +boy who had watched an opportunity for emerging from the window corner +without fuss, and was now carrying his little paint-box up-stairs to be +packed away in the children’s bag. As he spoke, he stooped down to look +at No. 8 and the dog, and smiled his approbation, and No. 8 smiled in +return. + +“No. 8, how snug you do look!” + +Once more an answering grin. + +“No. 8, you’re the best boy in the world; and if you stay there till +Nurse is ready for you, you shall have a penny all to yourself.” + +No. 8’s grin was accompanied by a significant nod this time, to show that +he accepted the bargain. + +“My darling No. 8, you may come out now. There! give me a kiss, and get +dressed as fast as you can. The fly will be here directly. You’re a +very good boy indeed.” + +“No. 8, you’re the pattern boy of the family, and I shall come with you +in the fly, and tell you a story as we go along for a reward.” + +No. 8 liked both the praise, and the cake, and the penny, and the kiss, +and the promise of the rewarding story for going under the table; but the +why and wherefore of all these charming facts, was a complete mystery to +him. What did that matter, however? He ran up-stairs, and got dressed, +and was ready before anyone else; and, by a miracle of good fortune, was +on the steps, and not in the middle of the carriage-drive, when the fly +arrived, which was to take one batch of the large family party to the +railway station. + +No one was as fond of the fly conveyance as of the open carriage; for, in +the first place, it was usually very full and stuffy; and, in the second, +very little of the country could be seen from the windows. + +But, on the present occasion, Aunt Judy having offered her services to +accompany the fly detachment, there was a wonderful alteration of +sentiment, as to who should be included. Aunt Judy, however, had her own +ideas. The three little ones belonged to the fly, as it were by ancient +usage and custom, and more than five it would not hold. + +Five it would hold, however, and five accordingly got in, No. 4 having +pleaded her own cause to be “thrown in:” and at last, with nurses and +luggage and No. 5 outside, away they drove, leaving the open carriage and +the rest to follow. + +Nothing is perfect in this world. Those who had the airy drive missed +the story, and regretted it; but it was fair that the pleasure should be +divided. + +And, after all, although the fly might be a little stuffy and closely +packed, and although it cost some trouble to settle down without getting +crushed, and make footstools of carpet bags, and let down all the +windows,—the commotion was soon over; and it was a wonderful lull of +peace and quietness, after the confusion and worry of packing and running +about, to sit even in a rattling fly. And so for five minutes and more, +all the travellers felt it to be, and a soothing silence ensued; some +leaning back, others looking silently out at the retreating landscape, or +studying with earnestness the wonderful red plush lining of the vehicle +itself. + +But presently, after the rest had lasted sufficiently long to recruit all +the spirits, No. 7 remarked, not speaking to anybody in particular, “I +thought Aunt Judy was going to tell us a story.” + +No. 7 was a great smiler in a quiet way, and he smiled now, as he +addressed his remark to the general contents of the fly. + +Aunt Judy laughed, and inquired for whom the observation was meant, +adding her readiness to begin, if they would agree to sit quiet and +comfortable, without shuffling up and down, or disputing about space and +heat; and, these points being agreed to, she began her story as follows:— + +“There were once upon a time a man and his wife who had an only son. +They were Germans, I believe, for all the funny things that happen, +happen in Germany, as you know by Grimm’s fairy tales. + +“Well! this man, Franz, had been a watchmaker and mender in an +old-fashioned country town, and he had made such a comfortable fortune by +the business, that he was able to retire before he grew very old; and so +he bought a very pretty little villa in the outskirts of the town, had a +garden full of flowers with a fountain in the middle, and enjoyed himself +very much. + +“His wife enjoyed herself too, but never so much as when the neighbours, +as they passed by, peeped over the palings, and said, ‘What a pretty +place! What lucky people the watchmaker and his wife are! How they must +enjoy themselves!’ + +“On such occasions, Madame Franz would run to her husband, crying out, +‘Come here, my dear, as fast as you can! Come, and listen to the +neighbours, saying, how we must enjoy ourselves!’ + +“Franz was very apt to grunt when his wife summoned him in this manner, +and, at any rate, never would go as she requested; but little Franz, the +son, who was very like his mother, and had got exactly her turn-up nose +and sharp eyes, would scamper forward in a moment to hear what the +neighbours had to say, and at the end would exclaim:— + +“‘Isn’t it grand, mother, that everybody should think that?’ + +“To which his mother would reply:— + +“‘It is, Franz, dear! I’m so glad you feel for your mother!’ and then +the two would embrace each other very affectionately several times, and +Madame Franz would go to her household business, rejoicing to think that, +if her husband did not quite sympathize with her, her son did. + +“Young Franz had been somewhat spoilt in his childhood, as only children +generally are. As to his mother, from there being no brothers and +sisters to compare him with, she thought such a boy had never been seen +before; and she told old Franz so, so often, that at last he began to +believe it too. And then they got all sorts of masters for him, to teach +him everything they could think of, and qualify him, as his mother said, +for some rich young lady to fall in love with. That was her idea of the +way in which he was one day to make his fortune. + +“At last, a time came when his mother thought the young gentleman quite +finished and complete; fit for anything and anybody, and likely to create +a sensation in the world. So she begged old Franz to dismiss all his +masters, and give him a handsome allowance, that he might go off on his +travels and make his fortune, in the manner before mentioned. + +“Old Mr. Franz shook his head at first, and called it all a parcel of +nonsense. Moreover, he declared that Master Franz was a mere child yet, +and would get into a hundred foolish scrapes in less than a week; but +mamma expressed her opinion so positively, and repeated it so often, that +at last papa began to entertain it too, and gave his consent to the plan. + +“The fact was, though I am sorry to say it, Mr. Franz was henpecked. +That is, his wife was always trying to make him obey her, instead of +obeying him, as she ought to have done; and she had managed him so long, +that she knew she could persuade him, or talk him (which is much the same +thing) into anything, provided she went on long enough. + +“So she went on about Franz going off on his travels with a handsome +allowance, till Papa Franz consented, and settled an income upon him, +which, if they had been selfish parents, they would have said they could +not afford; but, as it was, they talked the matter over together, and +told each other that it was very little two old souls like themselves +would want when their gay son was away; and so they would draw in, and +live quite quietly, as they used to do in their early days before they +grew rich, and would let the lad have the money to spend upon his +amusements. + +“Young Franz either didn’t know, or didn’t choose to think about this. +Clever as he was about many things, he was not clever enough to take in +the full value of the sacrifices his parents were making for him; so he +thanked them lightly for the promised allowance, rattled the first +payment cheerfully into his purse, and smiled on papa and mamma with +almost condescending complacency. When he was equipped in his best suit, +and just ready for starting, his mother took him aside. + +“‘Franz, my dear,’ she said, ‘you know how much money and pains have been +spent on your education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and talk, +and make yourself heard wherever you go. Now mind you do make yourself +heard, or who is to find out your merits? Don’t be shy and downcast when +you come among strangers. All you have to think about, with your +advantages, is to make yourself agreeable. That’s the rule for you! +Make yourself agreeable wherever you go, and the wife and the fortune +will soon be at your feet. And, Franz,’ continued she, laying hold of +the button of his coat, ‘there is something else. You know, I have often +said that the one only thing I could wish different about you is, that +your nose should not turn up quite so much. But you see, my darling boy, +we can’t alter our noses. Nevertheless, look here! you can incline your +head in such a manner as almost to hide the little defect. See—this +way—there—let me put it as I mean—a little down and on one side. It was +the way I used to carry my head before I married, or I doubt very much +whether your father would have looked my way. Think of this when you’re +in company. It’s a graceful attitude too, and you will find it much +admired.’ + +“Franz embraced his mother, and promised obedience to all her commands; +but he was glad when her lecture ended, for he was not very fond of her +remarks upon his nose. Just then the door of his father’s room opened, +and he called out:— + +“‘Franz, my dear, I want to speak to you.’ + +“Franz entered the room, and ‘Now, my dear boy,’ said papa, ‘before you +go, let me give you one word of parting advice; but stop, we will shut +the door first, if you please. That’s right. Well, now, look here. I +know that no pains or expense have been spared over your education. You +can play, and dance, and sing, and talk, and make yourself heard wherever +you go.’ + +“‘My dear sir,’ interrupted Franz, ‘I don’t think you need trouble +yourself to go on. My mother has just been giving me the advice +beforehand.’ + +“‘No, has she though?’ cried old Franz, looking up in his son’s face; but +then he shook his head, and said:— + +“‘No, she hasn’t, Franz; no, she hasn’t; so listen to me. We’ve all made +a fuss about you, and praised whatever you’ve done, and you’ve been a +sort of idol and wonder among us. But, now you’re going among strangers, +you will find yourself Mr. Nobody, and the great thing is, you must be +contented to be Mr. Nobody at first. Keep yourself in the background, +till people have found out your merits for themselves; and never get into +anybody’s way. Keep _out_ of the way, in fact, that’s the safest rule. +It’s the secret of life for a young man—How impatient you look! but mark +my words:—all you have to attend to, with your advantages, is, to keep +out of the way.’ + +“After this bit of advice, the father bestowed his blessing on his dear +Franz, and unlocked the door, close to which they found Mrs. Franz, +waiting rather impatiently till the conference was over. + +“‘What a time you have been, Franz!’ she began; but there was no time to +talk about it, for they all knew that the coach, or post-wagon, as they +call it in Germany, was waiting. + +“Mrs. Franz wrung her son’s hand. + +“‘Remember what I’ve said, my dearest Franz!’ she cried. + +“‘Trust me!’ was Mr. Franz’s significant reply. + +“‘You’ll not forget my rule?’ whispered papa. + + [Picture: Mr. Franz leaves home] + +“‘Forget, sir? no, that’s not possible,’ answered Mr. Franz in a great +hurry, as he ran off to catch the post-wagon; for they could see it in +the distance beginning to move, though part of the young gentleman’s +luggage was on board. + +“Well! he was just in time; but what do you think was the next thing he +did, after keeping the people waiting? A sudden thought struck him, that +it would be as well for the driver and passengers to know how well +educated he had been, so he began to give the driver a few words of +geographical information about the roads they were going. + +“‘Jump in directly, sir, if you please,’ was the driver’s gruff reply. + +“‘Certainly not, till I’ve made you understand what I mean,’ says Master +Franz, quite facetiously. But, then, smack went the whip, and the horses +gave a jolt forwards, and over the tip of the learned young gentleman’s +foot went the front wheel. + +“It was a nasty squeeze, though it might have been worse, but Franz +called out very angrily, something or other about ‘disgraceful +carelessness,’ on which the driver smacked his whip again, and shouted:— + +“‘Gentlemen that won’t keep out of the way, must expect to have their +toes trodden on.’ Everybody laughed at this, but Franz was obliged to +spring inside, without taking any notice of the joke, as the coach was +now really going on; and if he had began to talk, he would have been left +behind. + +“And now,” continued Aunt Judy, stopping herself, “while Franz is jolting +along to the capital town of the country, you shall tell me whose advice +you think he followed when he got to the end of the journey, and began +life for himself—his father’s or his mother’s?” + +There was a universal cry, mixed with laughter, of “His mother’s!” + +“Quite right,” responded Aunt Judy. “His mother’s, of course. It was +far the most agreeable, no doubt. Keeping out of the way is a rather +difficult thing for young folks to manage.” + +A glance at No. 8 caused that young gentleman’s face to grin all over, +and Aunt Judy proceeded:— + +“After his arrival at the great hotel of the town, he found there was to +be a public dinner there that evening, which anybody might go to, who +chose to pay for it; and this he thought would be a capital opportunity +for him to begin life: so, accordingly, he went up-stairs to dress +himself out in his very best clothes for the occasion. + +“And then it was that, as he sat in front of the glass, looking at his +own face, while he was brushing his hair and whiskers, and brightening +them up with bear’s-grease, he began to think of his father and mother, +and what they had said, and what he had best do. + +“‘An excellent, well-meaning couple, of course, but as old-fashioned as +the clocks they used to mend,’ was his first thought. ‘As to papa, +indeed, the poor old gentleman thinks the world has stood still since he +was a young man, thirty years ago. His stiff notions were all very well +then, perhaps, but in these advanced times they are perfectly quizzical. +Keep out of the way, indeed! Why, any ignoramus can do that, I should +think! Well, well, he means well, all the same, so one must not be +severe. As to mamma now—poor thing—though she _is_ behindhand herself in +many ways, yet she _does_ know a good thing when she sees it, and that’s +a great point. She can appreciate the probable results of my very +superior education and appearance. To be sure, she’s a little silly over +that nose affair;—but women will always be silly about something.’ + +“Nevertheless, at this point in his meditations, Master Franz might have +been seen inclining his head down on one side, just as his mother had +recommended, and then giving a look at the mirror, to see whether the +vile turn-up did really disappear in that attitude. I suspect, however, +that he did not feel quite satisfied about it, for he got rather cross, +and finished his dressing in a great hurry, but not before he had settled +that there could be only one opinion as to whose advice he should be +guided by—dear mamma’s. + +“‘Should it fail,’ concluded he to himself, as he gave the last smile at +the looking-glass, ‘there will be poor papa’s old-world notion to fall +back upon, after all.’ + +“Now, you must know that Master Franz had never been at one of these +public dinners before, so there is no denying that when he entered the +large dining-hall, where there was a long table, set out with plates, and +which was filling fast with people, not one of whom he knew, he felt a +little confused. But he repeated his mother’s words softly to himself, +and took courage: ‘_Don’t be shy and downcast when you come among +strangers_. _All you have to think about_, _with your advantages_, _is +to make yourself agreeable_;’ and, on the strength of this, he passed by +the lower end of the table, where there were several unoccupied places, +and walked boldly forward to the upper end, where groups of people were +already seated, and were talking and laughing together. + +“In the midst of one of these groups, there was one unoccupied seat, and +in the one next to it sat a beautiful, well-dressed young lady. ‘Why, +this is the very thing,’ thought Mr. Franz to himself. ‘Who knows but +what this is the young lady who is to make my fortune?’ + +“There was a card, it is true, in the plate in front of the vacant seat, +but ‘as to that,’ thought Franz, ‘first come, first served, I suppose; I +shall sit down!’ + +“And sit down the young gentleman accordingly did in the chair by the +beautiful young lady, and even bowed and smiled to her as he did so. + +“But the next instant he was tapped on the shoulder by a waiter. + +“‘The place is engaged, sir!’ and the man pointed to the card in the +plate. + +“‘Oh, if that’s all,’ was Mr. Franz’s witty rejoinder, ‘here’s another to +match!’ and thereupon he drew one of his own cards from his pocket, threw +it into the plate, and handed the first one to the astonished waiter, +with the remark:— + +“‘The place is engaged, my good friend, you see!’ + +“The young goose actually thought this impudence clever, and glanced +across the table for applause as he spoke. But although Mamma +Watchmaker, if she had heard it, might have thought it a piece of +astonishing wit, the strangers at the public table were quite of a +different opinion, and there was a general cry of ‘Turn him out!’ + +“‘Turn me out!’ shouted Mr. Franz, jumping up from his chair, as if he +intended to fight them all round; and there is no knowing what more +nonsense he might not have talked, but that a very sonorous voice behind +him called out,—a hand laying hold of him by the shoulders at the same +time— + +“‘Young man, I’ll trouble you to get out of my chair, and’ (a little +louder) ‘out of my way, and’ (a little louder still) ‘to _keep_ out of my +way!’ + +“Franz felt himself like a child in the grasp of the man who spoke; and +one glimpse he caught of a pair of coal-black eyes, two frowning +eye-brows, and a moustachioed mouth, nearly frightened him out of his +wits, and he was half way down the room before he knew what was +happening; for, after the baron let him go, the waiter seized him and +hustled him along, till he came to the bottom of the table; where, +however, there was now no room for him, as all the vacant places had been +filled up; so he was pushed finally to a side-table in a corner, at which +sat two men in foreign dresses, not one word of whose language he could +understand. + +“These two fellows talked incessantly together too, which was all the +more mortifying, because they gesticulated and laughed as if at some +capital joke. Franz was very quiet at first, for the other adventure had +sobered him, but presently, with his mother’s advice running in his head, +he resolved to make himself agreeable, if possible. + +“So, at the next burst of merriment, he affected to have entered into the +joke, threw himself back in his chair and laughed as loudly as they did. +The men stared for a second, then frowned, and then one of them shouted +something to him very loudly, which he did not understand; so he placed +his hand on his heart, put on an expressive smile, and offered to shake +hands. Thought he, that will be irresistible! But he was mistaken. The +other man now called loudly to the waiter, and a moment after, Franz +found himself being conveyed by the said waiter through the doorway into +the hall, with the remark resounding in his ears:— + +“‘What a foolish young gentleman you must be! Why can’t you keep out of +people’s way?’ + +“‘My good friend,’ cried Mr. Franz, ‘that’s not my plan at present. I’m +trying to make myself agreeable.’ + +“‘Oh—pooh!—bother agreeable,’ cried the waiter. ‘What’s the use of +making yourself agreeable, if you’re always in the way? Here!—step back, +sir! don’t you see the tray coming?’ + +“Franz had not noticed it, and would probably have got a thump on the +head from it, if his friend the waiter had not pulled him back. The man +was a real good-natured, smiling German, and said:— + +“‘Come, young gentleman, here’s a candle;—you’ve a bed-room here, of +course. Now, you take my advice, and go to bed. You _will_ be out of +the way there, and perhaps you’ll get up wiser to-morrow.’ + +“Franz took the candlestick mechanically, but, said he:— + +“‘I understood there was to be dancing here tonight, and I can dance, +and—’ + +“‘Oh, pooh! bother dancing,’ interrupted the waiter. ‘What’s the use of +dancing, if you’re to be in everybody’s way, and I know you will; you +can’t help it. Here, be advised for once, and go to bed. I’ll bring you +up some coffee before long. Go quietly up now—mind. Good night.’ + +“Two minutes afterwards, Mr. Franz found himself walking up-stairs, as +the waiter had ordered him to do, though he muttered something about +‘officious fellow’ as he went along. + +“And positively he went to bed, as the officious fellow recommended; and +while he lay there waiting for the coffee, he began wondering what +_could_ be the cause of the failure of his attempts to make himself +agreeable. Surely his mother was right—surely there could be no doubt +that, with his advantages—but he did not go on with the sentence. + +“Well, after puzzling for some time, a bright thought struck him. It was +entirely owing to that stupid nose affair, which his mother was so silly +about. Of course that was it! He had done everything else she +recommended, but he could not keep his head down at the same time, so +people saw the snub! Well, he would practise the attitude now, at any +rate, till the coffee came! + +“No sooner said than done. Out of bed jumped Mr. Franz, and went groping +about for the table to find matches to light the candle. But, unluckily, +he had forgotten how the furniture stood, so he got to the door by a +mistake, and went stumbling up against it, just as the waiter with the +coffee opened it on the other side. + +“There was a plunge, a shout, a shuffling of feet, and then both were on +the floor, as was also the hot coffee, which scalded Franz’s bare legs +terribly. + +“The waiter got up first, and luckily it was the ‘officious fellow’ with +the smiling face. And said he:— + +“‘What a miserable young man you must be, to be sure! Why, you’re +_never_ out of the way, not even when you’re gone to bed!’” + +This last anecdote caused an uproar of delight in the fly, and so much +noise, that Aunt Judy had to call the party to order, and talk about the +horses being frightened, after which she proceeded:— + +“I am sorry to say Mr. Franz did not get up next morning as much wiser as +the waiter had expected, for he laid all the blame of his misfortunes on +his nose instead of his impertinence, and never thought of correcting +himself, and being less intrusive. + +“On the contrary, after practising holding his head down for ten minutes +before the glass, he went out to the day’s amusements, as saucy and +confident as ever. + +“Now there is no time,” continued Aunt Judy, “for my telling you all Mr. +Franz’s funny scrapes and adventures. When we get to the end of the +journey, you must invent some for yourselves, and sit together, and tell +them in turns, while we are busy unpacking. I will only just say, that +wherever he went, the same sort of things happened to him, because he was +always thrusting himself forward, and always getting pushed back in +consequence. + +“Out of the public gardens he got fairly turned at last, because he would +talk politics to some strange gentlemen on a bench. They got up and +walked away, but, five minutes afterwards, a very odd-looking man looked +over Franz’s shoulder, and said significantly, ‘I recommend you to leave +these gardens, sir, and walk elsewhere.’ And poor Franz, who had heard +of such things as prisons and dungeons for political offenders, felt a +cold shudder run through him, and took himself off with all possible +speed, not daring to look behind him, for fear he should see that +dreadful man at his heels. Indeed, he never felt safe till he was in his +bed-room again, and had got the waiter to come and talk to him. + +“‘Dear me,’ said the waiter, ‘what a very silly young gentleman you must +be, to go talking away without being asked!’ + +“‘But,’ said Franz, ‘you don’t consider what a superior education I have +had. I can talk and make myself heard—’ + +“‘Oh, pooh! bother talking,’ interrupted the waiter; ‘what’s the use of +talking when nobody wants to listen? Much better go to bed.’ + +“Franz would not give in yet, but was comforted to find the waiter did +not think he would be thrown into prisons and dungeons; so he dined, and +dressed, and went to the theatre to console himself, where however he +_made himself heard_ so effectually—first applauding, then hissing, and +even speaking his opinions to the people round him—that a set of young +college students combined together to get rid of him, and, I am sorry to +add, they made use of a little kicking as the surest plan; and so, before +half the play was over, Mr. Franz found himself in the street! + +“Now, then, I have told you enough of Mr. Franz’s follies, except the one +last adventure, which made him alter his whole plan of proceeding. + +“He had had two letters of introduction to take with him: one to an old +partner of his father’s, who had settled in the capital some years +before; another to some people of more consequence, very distant family +connections. And, of course, Mr. Franz went there first, as there seemed +a nice chance of making his fortune among such great folks. + +“And really the great folks would have been civil enough, but that he +soon spoilt everything by what _he_ called ‘making himself agreeable.’ +He was too polite, too affectionate, too talkative, too instructive, by +half! He assured the young ladies that he approved very highly of their +singing; trilled out a little song of his own, unasked, at his first +visit; fondled the pet lap-dog on his knee; congratulated papa on looking +wonderfully well for his age; asked mamma if she had tried the last new +spectacles; and, in short, gave his opinions, and advice, and +information, so freely, that as soon as he was gone the whole party +exclaimed:— + +“‘What an impertinent jackanapes!’ a jackanapes being nothing more nor +less than a human monkey. + +“This went on for some time, for he called very often, being too stupid, +in spite of his supposed cleverness, to take the hints that were thrown +out, that such repeated visits were not wanted. + +“At last, however, the family got desperate and one morning when he +arrived, (having teazed them the day before for a couple of hours,) he +saw nobody in the drawing-room when he was ushered in. + +“Never mind, thought he, they’ll be here directly when they know _I’m_ +come! And having brought a new song in his pocket, which he had been +practising to sing to them, he sat down to the piano, and began +performing alone, thinking how charmed they would be to hear such +beautiful sounds in the distance! + +“But, in the middle of his song, he heard a discordant shout, and jumping +up, discovered the youngest little Missy hid behind the curtain, and +crying tremendously. + +“Mr. Franz became quite theatrical. ‘Lovely little pet, where are your +sisters? Have they left my darling to weep alone?’ + +“‘They shut the door before I could get through,’ sobbed the lovely +little pet; ‘and I won’t be your darling a bit!’ + +“Mr. Franz laughed heartily, and said how clever she was, took her on his +knee, told her her sisters would be back again directly, and finished his +remark by a kiss. + +“Unfortunate Mr. Franz! The young lady immediately gave him an +unmistakable box on the ear with her small fist, and vociferated + +“No, they won’t, they won’t, they won’t! They’ll never come back till +you’re gone! They’ve gone away to get out of _your_ way, because you +won’t keep out of _theirs_. And you’re a forward puppy, papa says, and +can’t take a hint; and you’re always in everybody’s way, and _I’ll_ get +out of your way, too!’ + +“Here the little girl began to kick violently; but there was no occasion. +Mr. Franz set her down, and while she ran off to her sisters, he rushed +back to the hotel, and double-locked himself into his room. + +“After a time, however, he sent for his friend the waiter, for he felt +that a talk would do him good. + +“But the ‘officious fellow’ shook his head terribly. + +“‘How many more times am I to tell you what a foolish young gentleman you +are?’ cried he. ‘Will you never get up wiser any morning of the year?’ + +“‘I thought,’ murmured Franz, in broken, almost sobbing accents—‘I +thought—the young ladies—would have been delighted—with—my song;—you +see—I’ve been—so well taught—and I can sing—’ + +“‘Oh! pooh, pooh, pooh!’ interrupted the waiter once more. ‘Bother +singing and everything else, if you’ve not been asked! Much better go to +bed!’ + +“Poor Franz! It was hard work to give in, and he made a last effort. + +“‘Don’t you think—after all—that the prejudice—is owing to—what I told +you about:—people do so dislike a snub-nose?’ + +“‘Oh, pooh! bother a snub-nose,’ exclaimed the waiter; ‘what will your +nose signify, if you don’t poke it in everybody’s way?’ + +“And with this conclusion Mr. Franz was obliged to be content; and he +ordered his dinner up-stairs, and prepared himself for an evening of +tears and repentance. + +“But, before the waiter had been gone five minutes, he returned with a +letter in his hand. + +“‘Now, here’s somebody asking something at last,’ said he, for a servant +had brought it. + +“Franz trembled as he took it. It was sure to be either a scolding or a +summons to prison, he thought. But no such thing: it was an invitation +to dinner. Franz threw it on the floor, and kicked it from him—he would +go nowhere—see nobody any more! + +“The ‘officious fellow’ picked it up, and read it. ‘Mr. Franz,’ said he, +‘you mustn’t go to bed this time: you must go to this dinner instead. +It’s from your father’s old partner—he wishes you had called, but as you +haven’t called, he asks you to dine. Now you’re wanted, Mr. Franz, and +must go.’ + +“‘I shall get into another mess,’ cried Franz, despondingly. + +“‘Oh, pooh! you’ve only to keep out of everybody’s way, and all will be +right,’ insisted the waiter, as he left the room. + +“‘Only to keep out of everybody’s way, and all will be right,’ ejaculated +Mr. Franz, as he looked at his crest-fallen face in the glass. ‘It’s a +strange rule for getting on in life! However,’ continued he, cheering +up, ‘one plan has failed, and it’s only fair to give the other a chance!’ + +“And all the rest of dressing-time, and afterwards as he walked along the +streets, he kept repeating his father’s words softly to himself, which +was at first a very difficult thing to do, because he could not help +mixing them up with his mother’s. It was the funniest thing in the world +to hear him: ‘_All you have to attend to_, _with your advantages is +to_—_make yourself_—no, no! not to make myself agreeable—_is to_—_keep +out of the way_!—that’s it!’ (with a sigh.) + +“When Franz arrived at the house, he rang the bell so gently, that he had +to ring twice before he was heard; and then they concluded it was some +beggar, who was afraid of giving a good pull. + +“So, when he was ushered into the drawing-room, the old partner came +forward to meet him, took him by both hands, and, after one look into his +downcast face, said:— + +“‘My dear Mr. Franz, you must put on a bolder face, and ring a louder +peal, next time you come to the house of your father’s old friend!’ + +“Mr. Franz answered this warm greeting by a sickly smile, and while he +was being introduced to the family, kept bowing on, thinking of nothing +but how he was to keep out of everybody’s way!’ + +“He was tempted every five minutes, of course, to break out in his usual +style, and could have found it in his heart to chuck the whole party +under the chin, and take all the talk to himself. But he could be +determined enough when he chose; and having determined to give his +father’s rule a fair chance, he restrained himself to the utmost. + +“So, not even the hearty reception of the old partner and his wife, nor +the smiling faces of either daughters or sons, could lure him into +opening out. ‘Yes’ and ‘No;’ ‘Do you think so?’ ‘I dare say;’ ‘Perhaps;’ +‘No doubt you’re right;’ and other such unmeaning little phrases were all +he would utter when they talked to him. + +“‘How shy he is, poor fellow!’ thought the ladies, and then they talked +to him all the more. One tried to amuse him with one subject, another +with another. How did he like the public gardens? Were they not very +pretty?—He scarcely knew. No doubt they were, if _they_ thought so. +What did he think of the theatre?—It was very hot when he was there. Had +he any friends in the town?—He couldn’t say friends—he knew one or two +people a little. And the poor youth could hardly restrain a groan, as he +answered each of the questions. + +“Then they chatted of books, and music, and dancing, and pressed him hard +to discover what he knew, and could do, and liked best; and when it oozed +out even from his short answers, that he had read certain books in more +than one language, and could sing—just a little; and dance—just a little; +and do several other things—just a little, too, all sorts of nods and +winks passed through the family, and they said:— + +“‘Ah, when you know us better, and are not so shy of us as strangers, we +shall find out you are as clever again as you pretend to be, dear Mr. +Franz!’ + +“‘I’ll tell you what,’ added the old partner, coming up at this moment, +‘it’s a perfect treat to me, Mr. Franz, to have a young man like you in +my house! You’re your father over again, and I can’t praise you more. +He was the most modest, unobtrusive man in all our town, and yet knew +more of his business than all of us put together.’ + +“‘No, no, I can’t allow that,’ cried the motherly wife. + +“‘Nonsense!’ replied the old partner. ‘However, my dear boy—for I really +must call you so—it was that very thing that made your father’s fortune; +I mean that he was just as unpretending as he was clever. Everybody +trusts an unpretending man. And _you’ll_ make your fortune too in the +same manner, trust me, before long. Now, boys!’ added he, turning to his +sons, ‘you hear what I say, and mind you take the hint! As for the young +puppies of the present day, who fancy themselves fit to sit in the chair +of their elders as soon as ever they have learnt their alphabet, and are +for thrusting themselves forward in every company—Mr. Franz, I’ll own it +to you, because you will understand me—I have no patience with such rude, +impertinent Jackanapeses, and always long to kick them down-stairs.’ + +“The old partner stood in front of Mr. Franz as he spoke, and clenched +his fist in animation. Mr. Franz sat on thorns. He first went hot, and +then he went cold—he felt himself kicked down-stairs as he listened—he +was ready to cry—he was ready to fight—he was ready to run away—he was +ready to drop on his knees, and confess himself the very most impertinent +of all the impertinent Jackanapes’ race. + +“But he gulped, and swallowed, and shut his teeth close, and nobody found +him out; only he looked very pale, which the good mother soon noticed, +and said she to her husband:— + +“‘My dear love, don’t you see how fagged and weary it makes Mr. Franz +look, to hear you raving on about a parcel of silly lads with whom _he_ +has nothing in common? You will frighten him out of his wits.’ + +“‘Mr. Franz will forgive me, I know,’ cried the old partner, gently. +‘Jacintha, my dear, fetch the wine and cake!’ + +“The kind, careful souls feared he was delicate, and insisted on his +having some refreshment; and then papa ordered the young people to give +their guest some music; and Franz sat by while the sons and daughters +went through a beautiful opera chorus, which was so really charming, that +Mr. Franz did forget himself for a minute, clapped violently, and got +half-way through the word ‘encore’ in a very loud tone. But he checked +himself instantly, coloured, apologized for his rudeness, and retreated +further back from the piano. + +“Of course, this new symptom of modesty was met by more kindness, and +followed by a sly hint from the merry Jacintha, that Mr. Franz’s turn for +singing had come now! + +“Poor Mr. Franz! with the recollection of the morning’s adventure on his +mind, and his father’s rule ringing in his ears, he felt singing to be +out of the question, so he declined. On which they entreated, insisted, +and would listen to no refusal. And Jacintha went to him, and looked at +him with her sweetest smile, and said, ‘But you know, Mr. Franz, you said +you could sing a little; and if it’s ever so little, you should sing +_when you’re asked_!’ and with that Miss Jacintha offered him her hand, +and led him to the piano. + +“Franz was annoyed, though he ought to been pleased. + +“‘But how _am_ I to keep out of people’s way,’ thought he to himself, ‘if +they will pull me forward? It’s the oddest thing I ever knew. I can’t +do right either way.’ + +“Then a thought struck him:— + +“‘I have no music, Miss Jacintha,’ said he, ‘and I can’t sing without +music;’ and he was going back again to his chair in the corner. + +“‘But we have all the new music,’ was her answer, and she opened a +portfolio at once. ‘See, here’s the last new song!’ and she held one up +before the unfortunate youth, who at the sight of it coloured all over, +even to the tips of his ears. Whereupon Miss Jacintha, who was watching +him, laughed, and said she had felt sure he knew it; and down she sat, +and began to play the accompaniment, and in two minutes afterwards Mr. +Franz found himself—in spite of himself, as it were—exhibiting in _the_ +song, the fatal song of the morning’s adventure. + +“It was a song of tender sentiment, and the singer’s almost tremulous +voice added to the effect, and a warm clapping of hands greeted its +conclusion. + +“But by that time Mr. Franz was so completely exhausted with the +struggles of this first effort on the new plan, that he began to wish +them good-night, saying he would not intrude upon them any longer. + +“They would shake hands with him, though he tried to bow himself off +without; and the old partner followed him down-stairs into the hall. + +“‘Mr. Franz,’ said he, ‘we have been delighted to make your acquaintance, +but this has been only a quiet family party. Now we know your _sort_, +you must come again, and meet our friends. Wife will fix the day, and +send you word; and don’t you be afraid, young man! Mind you come, and +put your best foot forward among us all!’ + +“Franz was almost desperate. His conscience began to reproach him. +What! was he going to accept all this kindness, like a rogue receiving +money under false pretences? He was shocked, and began to protest:— + +“‘I assure you, dear sir, I don’t deserve—You are quite under a mistake—I +really am not—the fact is, you think a great deal better of me than—” + +“‘Nonsense!’ shouted the old partner, clapping him vigorously on the +back. ‘Why, you’re not going to teach me at my time of life, surely? +Not going to turn as conceited as that, after all, eh? Come, come, Mr. +Franz, no nonsense! And to-morrow,’ he added, ‘I’ll send you letters of +introduction to some of my friends, who will show you the lions, and make +much of you. You will be well received wherever you take them, first for +my sake, and afterwards for your own. There, there! I won’t hear a +word! No thanks—I hate them! Good night.’ + +“And the old partner fairly pushed Mr. Franz through the door. + +“‘Oh dear, oh dear!’ was the waiter’s exclamation when Franz reached the +hotel, and the light of the lamp shone on his white, worn-out face. ‘Oh +dear, oh dear! I fear you’ve been a silly young gentleman over again! +What _have_ you been doing this time?’ + +“‘I’ve been trying to keep out of everybody’s way all the evening,’ +growled Mr. Franz, ‘and they would pull me forward, in spite of myself.’ + +“‘No—really though?’ cried the waiter, as if it were scarcely possible. + +“‘Really,’ sighed poor Mr. Franz. + +“‘Then do me the honour, sir,’ exclaimed the waiter, with a sudden +deference of manner; and taking the tips of Franz’s fingers in his own, +he bent over them with a salute. ‘You’re a wise young gentleman now, +sir, and your fortune’s made. I’m glad you’ve hit it at last! + +“And Mr. Franz had hit it at last, indeed,” continued Aunt Judy, “as +appeared more plainly still by the letters of introduction which reached +him next morning. They were left open, and were to this effect:— + +“‘ . . . The bearer of this is the son of an old friend. One of the most +agreeable young men I ever saw. As modest as he is well educated, and I +can’t say more. Procure him some amusement, that a little of his shyness +may be rubbed off; and forward his fortunes, my dear friend, as far as +you can . . . ’ + +“Franz handed one of these letters to his friend the waiter, and the +‘officious fellow’ grinned from ear to ear. + +“‘There is only one more thing to fear,’ observed he. + +“‘And what?’ asked Franz. + +“‘Why, that now you’re comfortable, my dear young gentleman, your head +should be turned, and you should begin to make yourself agreeable again, +and spoil all.’ + +“‘Oh, pooh! bother agreeable; _I_ say now, as you did,’ cried Franz, +laughing. ‘No, no, my good friend, I’m not going to make myself +agreeable any more. I know better than that at last!’ + +“‘Then your fortune’s safe as well as made!’ was the waiter’s last +remark, as he was about to withdraw: but Franz followed him to the door. + +“‘I found out a rather curious thing this evening, do you know!’ + +“‘And that was?—’ inquired his humble friend. + +“‘Why, that I was sitting all the time in that very attitude my mother +recommended—with my head a little down, you know—so that I really don’t +think they noticed my snub.’ + +“The waiter got as far as, ‘Oh, pooh!’ but Franz was nervous, and +interrupted him. + +“‘Yes—yes! I don’t believe there’s anything in it myself; but it will be +a comfort to my mother to think it was her advice that made my fortune, +which she will do when I tell her that!’ + +“‘Ah!—the ladies will be romantic now and then!’ exclaimed the waiter, +with a flourish of his hand, ‘and you must trim the comfort to a person’s +taste.’ + +“And in due time,” pursued Aunt Judy, “that was exactly what Mr. Franz +did. Strictly adhering to his father’s rule, and encouraged by its +capital success that first night, he got so out of the habit of being +pert, and foolish, and inconsiderate, that he ended by never having any +wish to be so; so that he really became what the old partner had imagined +him to be at first. It was a great restraint for some time, but his +modest manners fitted him at last as easy as an old shoe, and he was +welcome at every house, because he was _never in the way_, and always +knew when to retire! + +“It was a jovial day for Papa and Mamma’s Watchmaker when, two years +afterwards, Mr. Franz returned home, a partner in the old partner’s +prosperous business, and with the smiling Jacintha for his bride. + +“And then, in telling his mother of that first evening of his good +fortune, he did not forget to mention that he had hung down his head all +the time, as she had advised; and, just as he expected, she jumped up in +the most extravagant delight. + +“‘I knew how it would be all along!’ cried she; ‘I told you so! I knew +if you could only hide that terrible snub all would be well; and I’m sure +our pretty Jacintha wouldn’t have looked your way if you hadn’t! See, +now! you have to thank your mother for it all!’ + +“Franz was quite happy himself, so he smiled, and let his mother be happy +her way too; but he opened his heart of hearts to poor old-fashioned +papa, and told him—well, in fact, all his follies and mistakes, and their +cure. And if mamma was happy in her bit of comfort, papa was not less so +in his, for there is not a more delightful thing in the world than for +father and son to understand each other as friends; and old Franz would +sometimes walk up and down in his room, listening to the cheerful young +voices up-stairs, and say to himself, that if Mother Franz—good soul as +she was—did not always quite enter into his feelings, it was his comfort +to be blessed with a son who did!” + + * * * + +What a long story it had been! Aunt Judy was actually tired out when she +got to the end, and could not talk about it, but the little ones did till +they arrived at the station, and had to get out. + +And in the evening, when they were all sitting together before they went +to bed, there was no small discussion about the story of Mr. Franz, and +how people were to know what was really good manners—when to come +forward, and when to hold back—and the children were a little startled at +first, when their mother told them that the best rules for good manners +were to be found in the Bible. + +But when she reminded them of that text, “When thou art bidden, go and +sit down in the lowest room,” &c. they saw in those words a very serious +reason for not pushing forward into the best place in company. And when +they recollected that every man was to do to others as he wished others +to do to him, it became clear to them that it was the duty of all people +to study their neighbours’ comfort and pleasure as well as their own; and +it was no hard matter to show how this rule applied to all the little ins +and outs of every-day life, whether at home, or in society. And there +were plenty of other texts, ordering deference to elders, and the modesty +which arises out of that humility of spirit which “vaunteth not itself,” +and “is not puffed up.” There was, moreover, the comfortable promise, +that “the meek” should “inherit the earth.” + +Of course, it was difficult to the little ones, just at first, to see how +such very serious words could apply to anybody’s manners, and especially +to their own. + +But it was a difficulty which mamma, with a little explanation, got over +very easily; and before the little ones went to bed, they quite +understood that in restraining themselves from teazing and being +troublesome, they were not only not being “tiresome,” but were actually +obeying several Gospel rules. + + + + +“NOTHING TO DO.” + + + “Had I a little son, I would christen him NOTHING-TO-DO.” + + CHARLES LAMB. + +THERE is a complaint which is not to be found in the doctor’s books, but +which is, nevertheless, such a common and troublesome one, that one +heartily wishes some physic could be discovered which would cure it. + +It may be called the _nothing-to-do_ complaint. + + [Picture: Nothing to do] + +Even quite little children are subject to it, but they never have it +badly. Parents and nurses have only to give them something to do, or +tell them of something to do, and the thing is put right. A puzzle or a +picture-book relieves the attack at once. + +But after the children have out-grown puzzles, and picture-books, and +nurses, and when even a parent’s advice is received with a little +impatience, then the _nothing-to-do_ complaint, if it seizes them at all, +is a serious disease, and often very difficult to cure; and, if not +cured, alas! then follows the melancholy spectacle of grown-up men and +women, who are a plague to their friends, and a weariness to themselves; +because, living under the notion that there is _nothing_ for them _to +do_, they want everybody else to do something to amuse them. + +Anyone can laugh at the old story of the gentleman who got into such a +fanciful state of mind—hypochondriacal, it is called—that he thought he +was his own umbrella; and so, on coming in from a walk, would go and lay +_it_ in the easy-chair by the fire, while he himself went and leant up +against the wall in a corner of the hall. + +But this gentleman was not a bit more fanciful and absurd than the +people, whether young or old, who look out of windows on rainy days and +groan because there is _nothing to do_; when, in reality, there is so +much for everybody to do, that most people leave half their share undone. + +The oddest part of the complaint is, that it generally comes on worst in +those who from being comfortably off in the world, and from having had a +great deal of education, have such a variety of things to do, that one +would fancy they could never be at a loss for a choice. + +But these are the very people who are most afflicted. It is always the +young people who have books, and leisure, and music, and drawing, and +gardens, and pleasure-grounds, and villagers to be kind to, who lounge to +the rain-bespattered windows on a dull morning, and groan because there +is _nothing to do_. + +In justice to girls in general, it should be here mentioned, that they +are on the whole less liable to the complaint than the young lords of the +creation, who are supposed to be their superiors in sense. Philosophers +may excuse this as they please, but the fact remains, that there are few +large families in England, whose sisterhoods have not at times been +teazed half out of their wits, by the growlings of its young gentlemen, +during paroxysms of the _nothing-to-do_ complaint; growling being one of +its most characteristic symptoms. + +Perhaps among all the suffering sisterhoods it would have been difficult +to find a young lady less liable to catch such a disorder herself, than +Aunt Judy; and perhaps that was the reason why she used to do such +tremendous battle with No. 3, whenever, after his return from school for +the holidays, he happened to have an attack. + +“What are you groaning at through the window, No. 3?” she inquired on one +such occasion; “is it raining?” + +A very gruff-sounding “No,” was the answer—No. 3 not condescending to +turn round as he spoke. He proceeded, however, to state that it had +rained when he got up, and he supposed it would rain again as a +matter-of-course, (for his especial annoyance being implied,) and he +concluded:— + +“It’s so horribly ‘slow’ here, with nothing to do.” + +No. 6, who was sitting opposite Aunt Judy, doing a French exercise, here +looked up at her sister, and perceiving a smile steal over her face, took +upon herself to think her brother’s remark very ridiculous, so, said she, +with a saucy giggle:— + +“I can find you plenty to do, No. 3, in a minute. Come and write my +French exercise for me. + +No. 3 turned sharply round at this, with a frown on his face which by no +means added to its beauty, and called out:— + +“Now, Miss Pert, I recommend you to hold your tongue. I don’t want any +advice from a conceited little minx like you.” + +Miss Pert was extinguished at once, and set to work at the French +exercise again most industriously, and a general silence ensued. + +But people in the nothing-to-do complaint are never quiet for long. +Teazing is quite as constant a symptom of it, as growling, so No. 3 soon +came lounging from the window to the table, and began:— + +“I say, Judy, I wish you would put those tiresome books, and drawings, +and rubbish away, and I think of something to do.” + +“But it’s the books, and the drawings, and the rubbish that give me +something to do,” cried Aunt Judy. “You surely don’t expect me to give +them up, and go arm and arm with you round the house, bemoaning the +slowness of our fate which gives us nothing to do. Or shall we? Come, I +don’t care; I will if you like. But which shall we complain to first, +mamma, or the maids?” + +While she was saying this, Aunt Judy shut up her drawing book, jumped up +from her chair, drew No. 3’s arm under her own, and repeated:— + +“Come! which? mamma, or the maids?” while Miss Pert opposite was +labouring with all her might to smother the laugh she dared not indulge +in. + +But No. 3 pushed Aunt Judy testily away. + +“‘Nonsense, Judy! what has that to do with it? It’s all very well for +you girls—now, Miss Pert, mind your own affairs, and don’t stare at +me!—to amuse yourself with all manner of—” + +“Follies, of course,” cried Aunt Judy, laughing, “don’t be afraid of +speaking out, No. 3. It’s all very well for us girls to amuse ourselves +with all manner of follies, and nonsense, and rubbish;” here Aunt Judy +chucked the drawing-book to the end of the table, tossed a dictionary +after it, and threw another book or two into the air, catching them as +they came down. + +“—while you, superior, sensible young man that you are, born to be the +comfort of your family—” + +“Be quiet!” interrupted No. 3, trying to stop her; but she ran round the +table and proceeded:— + +“—and the enlightener of mankind; can’t—no, no, No. 3, I won’t be +stopt!—can’t amuse yourself with anything, because everything is so +‘horribly slow, there’s nothing to do,’ so you want to tie yourself to +your foolish sister’s apron string.” + +“It’s too bad!” shouted No. 3; and a race round the table began between +them, but Aunt Judy dodged far too cleverly to be caught, so it ended in +their resting at opposite ends; No. 6 and her French exercises lying +between them. + +“No. 6, my dear,” cried Aunt Judy, in the lull of exertion, “I proclaim a +holiday from folly and rubbish. Put your books away, and put your +impertinence away too. Hold your tongue, and don’t be Miss Pest; and +vanish as soon as you can.” + +Miss Pert performed two or three putting-away evolutions with the +velocity of a sunbeam, and darted off through the door. + +“Now, then, we’ll be reasonable,” observed Aunt Judy; and carrying a +chair to the front of the fire she sat down, and motioned to No. 3 to do +the same, taking out from her pocket a little bit of embroidery work, +which she kept ready for chatting hours. + +No. 3 was always willing to listen to Aunt Judy. + +He desired nothing better than to get her undivided attention, and pour +out his groans in her ear; so he sat down with a very good grace, and +proceeded to insist that there never was anything so “slow” as “it was.” + +Aunt Judy wanted to know what _it_ was; the place or the people, +(including herself,) or what? + +No. 3 could explain it no other way than by declaring that _everything_ +was slow; there was nothing to do. + +Aunt Judy maintained that there was plenty to do. + +Whereupon No. 3 said:— + +“But nothing _worth_ doing.” + +Whereupon Aunt Judy told No. 3 that he was just like Dr. Faustus. On +which, of course, No. 3 wanted to know what Dr. Faustus was like, and +Aunt Judy answered, that he was just like _him_, only a great deal older +and very learned. + +“Only quite different, then,” suggested No. 3. + +“No,” said Aunt Judy, “not _quite_ different, for he came one day to the +same conclusion that you have done, namely, that there was nothing to do, +worth doing in the world.” + +“_I_ don’t say the world, I only say here,” observed No. 3; “there’s +plenty to do elsewhere, I dare say.” + +“So you think, because you have not tried else where,” answered Aunt +Judy. “But Dr. Faustus, who had tried elsewhere, thought everywhere +alike, and declared there was nothing worth doing anywhere, although he +had studied law, physic, divinity, and philosophy all through, and knew +pretty nearly everything.” + +“Then you see he did not get much good out of learning,” remarked No. 3. + +“I do see,” was the reply. + +“And what became of him?” + +“Ah, that’s the point,” replied Aunt Judy, “and a very remarkable point +too. As soon as he got into the state of fancying there was nothing to +do, worth doing, in God’s world, the evil spirit came to him, and found +him something to do in what I may, I am sure, call the devil’s world—I +mean, wickedness.” + +“Oh, that’s a story written upon Watts’s old hymn,” exclaimed No. 3, +contemptuously:— + + “‘For Satan finds some mischief still, + For idle hands to do.’ + +Judy! I call that a regular ‘_sell_.’” + +“Not a bit of it,” cried Aunt Judy, warmly; “I don’t suppose the man who +wrote the story ever saw Watts’s hymns, or intended to teach anything +half as good. It’s mamma’s moral. She told me she had screwed it out of +the story, though she doubted whether it was meant to be there.” + +“And what’s the rest of the story then?” inquired No. 3, whose curiosity +was aroused. + +“Well! when the old Doctor found the world as it was, so ‘_slow_,’ as you +very unmeaningly call it, he took to conjuring and talking with evil +spirits by way of amusement; and then they easily persuaded him to be +wicked, merely because it gave him something fresh and exciting to do.” + +“Watts’s hymn again! I told you so!” exclaimed No. 3. “But the story’s +all nonsense from beginning to end. Nobody can conjure, or talk to evil +spirits in reality, so the whole thing is impossible; and where you find +the moral, I don’t know.” + +No. 3 leant back and yawned as he concluded. + +He was rather disappointed that nothing more entertaining had come out of +the story of Dr. Faustus. + +But Aunt Judy had by no means done. + +“Impossible about conjuring and actually _talking_ to evil spirits, +certainly,” said she; “but spiritual influences, both bad and good, come +to us all, No. 3, without bodily communion; so for those who are inclined +to feel like Dr. Faustus, there is both a moral and a warning in his +fate.” + +“I don’t know what about,” cried No. 3. “I think he was uncommonly +stupid, after all he had learnt, to get into such a mess. Why, you +yourself are always trying to make out that the more people labour and +learn, the more sure they are to keep out of mischief. Now then, how do +you account for the story of your friend Dr. Faustus?” + +“Because, like King Solomon, he did not labour and learn in a right +spirit, or to a right end,” replied Aunt Judy. “Lord Bacon remarks that +when, after the Creation, God ‘looked upon everything He had made, behold +it was _very good_;’ whereas when man ‘turned him about,’ and took a view +of the world and his own labours in it, he found that ‘all’ was ‘vanity +and vexation of spirit.’ Why did he come to such a different conclusion, +do you think?” + +“I suppose because the world had got bad, before King Solomon’s time,” +suggested No. 3. + +“Its inhabitants had,” replied Aunt Judy. “They had become subject to +sin and misery; but the world was still God’s creation, and proofs of the +‘very good’ which He had pronounced over it were to be found in every +direction, and even in fallen man, if Solomon had had the sense, or +rather I should say, good feeling to look for them. Ah! No. 3, there +was plenty to be learnt and done that would _not_ have ended in ‘vanity +and vexation of spirit’ if Solomon had _learnt_ in order to trace out the +glory of God, instead of establishing his own; and if he had _worked_ to +create, as far as was in his power, a world of happiness for other +people, instead of seeking nothing but his own amusement. If he had +worked in the spirit of God, in short.” + +“But who can?—Nobody,” exclaimed No. 3. + +“Yes, everybody, who tries, can, to a certain extent,” said Aunt Judy. +“It only wants the right feeling; some of the good God-like feeling which +originated the creation of a beautiful world, and caused the +contemplation of it to produce the sublime complacency which is +described, ‘And God looked upon everything that He had made, and behold +it was very good.’” + +“It’s a sermon, Judy,” cried No. 3, half bored, yet half amused at the +notion of her preaching; “I’ll set up a pulpit for you at once, shall I?” + +“No, no, be quiet, No. 3,” exclaimed Aunt Judy, “I wish you would try and +understand what I say!” + +“Well, then,” said No. 3, “it appears to me that do what one might now +the world has grown bad, it would be impossible to pronounce that ‘_very +good_,’ as the result of one’s work. There would always be something +miserable and unsatisfactory at the end of everything; I mean even if one +really was to look into things closely, and work for other people’s good, +as you say.” + +“There might be _something_ miserable and unsatisfactory, in the result, +certainly,” answered Aunt Judy; “but that it would _all_ be ‘vanity and +vexation of spirit’ I deny. Our blessed Saviour came into the world +after it had grown bad, remember; and He worked solely for the +restoration of the ‘very good,’ which sin had defaced. It was +undoubtedly _miserable_ and _unsatisfactory_ that He should be rejected +by the very creatures He came to help; but when He uttered the words ‘It +is finished,’ the work which He had accomplished, He might well have +looked upon and called very good: very very good; even beyond the +creation, were that possible.” + +“There can be no comparison between our Saviour and us,” murmured No. 3. + +“No,” replied his sister; “but only let people work in the same +direction, and they will have more ‘profit’ of their ‘labour,’ than King +Solomon ever owned to, who had, one fears, only learnt, in order to be +learned, and worked, to please himself. No man who employs himself in +tracing out God’s footsteps _in_ the world, or in working in God’s spirit +_for_ the world, will ever find such labours end in ‘vanity and vexation +of spirit!’ Solomon, Dr. Faustus, and the grumblers, have only +themselves to thank for their disappointment.” + +“It’s very curious,” observed No. 3, getting up, and stretching himself +over the fire, “I mean about Solomon and Dr. Faustus. But what can one +do? What can you or I do? It’s absurd to be fancying one can do good to +one’s fellow-creatures.” + +“Nevertheless, there is one I want you to do good to, at the present +moment,” said Aunt Judy—“if it is not actually raining. Don’t you +remember what despair No. 1 was in this morning, when father sent her off +on the pony in such a hurry.” + +“Ah, that pony! That was just what I wanted myself,” interrupted No. 3. + +“Exactly, of course,” replied Aunt Judy. “But you were not the messenger +father wanted, so do not let us go all over that ground again, pray. The +fact was, No. 1 had just heard that her pet ‘Tawny Rachel’ was very ill, +and she wanted to go and see her, and give her some good advice, and I am +to go instead. Now No. 3, suppose you go instead of me, and save me a +wet walk?” + +No. 3, of course, began by protesting that it was not possible that he +could do any good to an old woman. Old women were not at all in his way. +He could only say, how do you do? and come away. + +Aunt Judy disputed this: she thought he could offer her some creature +comforts, and ask whether she had seen the Doctor, and what he said, as +No. 1 particularly wished to know. + +What an idea! No, no; he must decline inquiring what the Doctor said; it +would be absurd; but he could offer her something to eat. + +—And just ask if she had had the Doctor.—Well, just that, and come away. +It would not occupy many minutes. But he wished, while Aunt Judy was +about it, she had found him something rather _longer_ to do! + +Aunt Judy promised to see what could be devised on his return, and No. 3 +departed. And a very happily chosen errand it was; for it happened in +this case, as it so constantly does happen, that what was begun for other +people’s sake, ended in personal gratification. No. 3 went to see “Tawny +Rachel,” out of good-natured compliance with Aunt Judy’s request, but +found an interest and amusement in the visit itself, which he had not in +the least expected. + +Ten, twenty, thirty, minutes elapsed, and he had not returned; and when +he did so at last, he burst into the house far more like an avalanche +than a young gentleman who could find “nothing to do.” + +Coming in the back way, he ran into the kitchen, and told the servants to +get some hot water ready directly, for he was sure something would be +wanted. Then, passing forward, he shouted to know where his mother was, +and, having found her, entreated she would order some comfortable, +gruelly stuff or other, to be made for the sick old woman, particularly +insisting that it should have ale or wine, as well as spice and sugar in +it. + +He was positive that that was just what she ought to have! She had said +how cold she was, and how glad she should be of something to warm her +inside; and there was nobody to do anything for her at home. What a +shame it was for a poor old creature like that to be left with only two +dirty boys to look after her, and they always at play in the street! Her +daughter and husband were working out, and she sat moaning over the fire, +from pain, without anybody to care! + + * * * + +Tender-hearted and impulsive, if thoughtless, the spirit of No. 3 had +been moved within him at the spectacle of the gaunt old woman in this +hour of her lonely suffering. + +Poor “Tawny Rachel!” The children had called her so, from the heroine of +Mrs. Hannah More’s tale, because of those dark gipsy eyes of hers, which +had formerly given such a fine expression to her handsome but melancholy +face. Melancholy, because care-worn from the long life’s struggle for +daily bread, for a large indulged family, who scarcely knew, at the day +of her death, that she had worn herself out for their sakes. + +Poor “Tawny Rachel!” She was one day asked by a well-meaning shopkeeper, +of whom she had purchased a few goods, _where she thought she was going +to_? + +“Tawny Rachel” turned her sad eyes upon her interrogator, and made +answer:— + +“Going to? why where do you think I’m going to, but to Heaven?—‘Deed! +where do you think I’m going to, but to Heaven?” she repeated to herself +slowly, as if to recover breath; and then added, “I should like to know +who Heaven is for, if not for such as me, that have slaved all their +lives through, for other folk;” and so saying, Tawny Rachel turned round +again, and went away. + +Poor “Tawny Rachel!” The theology was imperfect enough; but so had been +her education and advantages. Yet as surely as her scrupulous, +never-failing honesty, and unmurmuring self-denial, must have been +inspired by something beyond human teaching; so surely did it prove no +difficult task to her spiritual guide, to lead her onwards to those +simple verities of the Christian Faith, which, in her case, seemed to +solve the riddle of a weary, unsatisfactory life, and, confiding in +which, the approach of death really became to her, the advent of the +Prince of Peace. + + * * * + +“But she had quite cheered up,” remarked No. 3, “at the notion of +something comforting and good,” and so—he had “come off at once.” + +“At once!”—the exclamation came from Aunt Judy, who had entered the room, +and was listening to the account. “Why, No. 3, you must have been there +an hour at least. And nevertheless I dare say you have forgotten about +the Doctor.” + +“The Doctor!” cried No. 3, laughing,—“It’s the Doctor who has kept me all +this time. You never heard such fun in your life,—only he’s an awful old +rascal, I must say!” + +Mamma and Aunt Judy gazed at No. 3 in bewilderment. The respectable old +village practitioner, who had superintended all the deceases in the place +for nearly half a century—to be called “an awful old rascal” at last! +What could No. 3 be thinking of? + +Certainly not of the respectable village practitioner, as he soon +explained, by describing the arrival at Tawny Rachel’s cottage of a +travelling quack with a long white beard. + +“My dear No. 3!” exclaimed mamma. + +“Mother, dear, I can’t help it!” cried No. 3, and proceeded to relate +that while he was sitting with the old woman, listening to the account of +her aches and pains, some one looked in at the door, and asked if she +wanted anything; but, before she could speak, remarked how ill she +seemed, and said he could give her something to do her good. “Judy!” +added No. 3, breaking suddenly off; “he looked just like Dr. Faustus, I’m +sure!” + +“Never mind about that,” cried Aunt Judy. “Tell us what Tawny Rachel +said.” + +“Oh, she called out that he _must give_ it, if she was to have it, for +she had nothing to pay for it with. I had a shilling in my pocket, and +was just going to offer it, when I recollected he would most likely do +her more harm than good. But the gentleman with the white beard walked +in immediately, set his pack down on the table, and said, ‘Then, my good +woman, I _shall_ give it you;’ and out he brought a bottle, tasted it +before he gave it to her, and promised her that it would cure her if she +took it all.” + +“My dear No. 3!” repeated mamma once more. + +“Yes, I know she can’t be cured, mother, and I think she knows it too; +but still she ‘_took it very kind_,’ as she called it, of him, and asked +him if he would like to ‘rest him’ a bit by the fire, and the gentleman +accepted the invitation; and there we all three sat, for really I quite +enjoyed seeing him, and he began to warm his hands, remarking that the +young gentleman—that was I, you know—looked very well. Oh, Judy, I very +nearly said ‘Thank you, Dr. Faustus,’ but I only laughed and nodded, and +really did hold my tongue; and then the two began to talk, and it was as +good as any story you ever invented, Aunt Judy. Tawny Rachel was very +inquisitive, and asked him:— + +“‘You’ve come a long way, sir, I suppose?’ + +“‘Yes, ma’am; I’m a great traveller, and have been so a many years.’ + +“‘It’s a wonder you have not settled before now.’ + +“‘I might have settled, ma’am, a many times.’ + +“‘Ah, when folks once begin wandering, they can’t settle down. You were, +maybe, brought up to it.’ + +“‘I was brought up to something a deal better than that, ma’am.’ + +“‘You was, sir? It’s a pity, I’m sure.’ + +“‘My father was physician to Queen Elizabeth, ma’am, a many years.’” + +When No. 3 arrived at this point of the dialogue, mamma and Aunt Judy +both exclaimed at once, and the former repeated once more the +expostulatory “My dear No. 3!” which delighted No. 3, who proceeded to +assure them that he had himself interrupted the travelling quack here, by +suggesting that it was Queen Charlotte he meant. + +“Old Queen Charlotte, you know, Judy, that No. 1 was telling the children +about the other day.” + +But the “gentleman,” as No. 3 called him, had turned very red at the +doubt thus thrown on his accuracy, and put a rather threatening croak +into his voice, as he said:— + +“Asking your pardon, young gentleman, I know what I’m saying, and it was +Queen Elizabeth, and not Charlotte nor anybody else!” + +No. 3 described that he felt it best, after this, to hold his tongue and +say no more, so Tawny Rachel put in her word, and remarked, it was a +wonder the queen hadn’t made their fortunes; on which the gentleman +turned rather red again, and said that the queen did make their fortune, +but wouldn’t let them keep it, for fear they should be too great and too +rich—that was it! This statement required a little explanation, but the +gentleman was ready with all particulars. The queen used to pay his +father by hundreds of pounds at a time, because that was due to him, but +being jealous of his having so much money, she always set some one to +take it away from him as he left the place! So that was the reason why +these was no fortune put by for him after his father died, and that was +the reason why he couldn’t very well settle at first, though everybody +wished him to stay, and _so_ he took to travelling; for his father had +left him all his secrets, and he was qualified to practise anywhere, and +had cured some thousands of sick folks up and down! + +No. 3 declared that he had not made the old man’s account of himself a +bit more unconnected than it really was, and, on the whole, it sounded +very imposing to poor Tawny Rachel, who watched his departure with a sort +of respectful awe. + +No. 3 added, that not liking to disturb her faith either in the man or +the bottle, he had himself helped her to the first dose, and had then +begun to talk about the creature comforts before described, the very +mention of which seemed to cheer the old lady’s heart, and to interest +her at least as much as the biography of the travelling quack. + +“So now, mother,” concluded he, “order the gruel, and we’ll give three +cheers for Queen Elizabeth, and Dr. Faustus—eh, Judy? But I do think the +poor old thing ought not to take that man’s poisonous rubbish; so here’s +my shilling, and welcome, if you’ll give some more, and let us send for a +real doctor.” + +The “nothing-to-do” morning had nearly slipped away, between the +conversation with Aunt Judy, and the visit to Tawny Rachel; and when, +soon after, a friend called to take No. 3 off on a fossil hunt, and he +had to snatch a hasty morsel before his departure, he declared he was +like the poor governess in the song, who was sure to + + “Find out, + With attention and zeal, + That she’d scarcely have time + To partake of a meal,” + +there was so much to do. “But you’re a capital fellow, Judy,” he added, +kissing her, “and you’ll tell me a story when I come back;” and off he +ran, shutting his ears to Aunt Judy’s declaration that she only told +stories to the “little ones.” + +Nor would she, on his return, and during the cozy evening “nothing-to-do” +hour, consent to devote herself to his especial amusement only. So, +after arguing the point for a time, he very wisely yielded, and declared +at last that he would be a “little one” too, and listen to a “little +one’s” story, if Aunt Judy would tell one. + +It was rather late when this was settled, and the little ones had stayed +up-stairs to play at a newly-invented game—bazaars—in the nursery; but +when No. 3 strode in with the announcement of the story, there was a +shout of delight, followed by the old noisy rush down-stairs to the +dining-room. + +It is not a bad thing to be a “little one” now and then in spirit. +People would do well to try and be so oftener. Who that has looked upon +a picture of himself as a “little one,” has not wished that he could be +restored to the “little one’s” spirit, the “little one’s” innocence, the +“little one’s” hopeful trust? “Of such is the kingdom of Heaven!” And +though none of us would like to live our lives over again, lest our +errors should be repeated, and so doubled in guilt, all of us, at the +sight of what we once were, would fain, very fain, if we could, lie down +to sleep, and awake a “little one” again. Never, perhaps, is the sweet +mercy of an early death brought so closely home to our apprehension, as +when the grown-up, care-worn man looks upon the image of himself as a +child. + +Happily, however—nay, more than happily, _mercifully_—the grown-up man, +if he do but put on the humility, may gain something of the peace of a +“little one’s” heart! + +Aunt Judy had twisted up a roll of muslin for a turban on her head by the +time they came down, “for,” said she, “this is to be an eastern tale, and +I shall not be inspired—that is to say, I shall not get on a bit—unless +there is a costume and manners to correspond, so you three little ones +squat yourselves down Turkish-fashion on the floor, with your legs tucked +under you. There now! that’s something like, and I begin to feel myself +in the East. Nevertheless, I am rather glad there is no critical Eastern +traveller at hand, listening through the key-hole to my blunders. + +“However, errors excepted, here is the wonderful story of + + + +‘The King of the Hills and his Four Sons.’ + + +“A great many years ago, in a country which cannot be traced upon the +maps, but which lies somewhere between the great rivers Indus and +Euphrates, lived Schelim, King of the Hills. + +“His riches were unlimited, his palaces magnificent, and his dresses and +jewels of the most costly description. He never condescended to wear a +diamond unless it was inconveniently large for his fingers, and the fiery +opals which adorned his turban (like those in the mineral-room at the +British Museum) shimmered and blazed in such a surprising manner, that +people were obliged to lower their eyes before the light of them. + +“Powerful as well as rich, King Schelim could have anything in the world +he wished for, but—such is the perversity of human nature—he cared very +little for anything except smoking his pipe; of which, to say the truth, +he was so fond, that he would have been well contented to have done +nothing else all day long. It seemed to him the nearest approach to the +sublimest of all ideas of human happiness—the having _nothing to do_. + +“He caused his four sons to be brought up in luxurious ease, his wish for +them being, that they should remain ignorant of pain and sorrow for as +long a period of their lives as was possible. So he built a palace for +them, at the summit of one of his beautiful hills, where nothing +disagreeable or distressing could ever meet their eyes, and he gave +orders to their attendants, that they should never be thwarted in +anything. + +“Every wish of their hearts, therefore, was gratified from their baby +days; but so far from being in consequence the happiest, they were the +most discontented children in his dominions. + +“From the first year of their birth, King Schelim had never been able to +smoke his pipe in peace. There were always messages coming from the +royal nursery to the smoking-room, asking for something fresh for the +four young princes, who were, owing to some mysterious cause, incapable +of enjoying any of their luxurious indulgences for more than a few hours +together. + +“At first these incessant demands for one thing or another for the +children, surprised and annoyed their papa considerably, but by degrees +he got used to it, and took the arrival of the messengers as a matter of +course. + +“The very nurses began it:— + +“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty’s +incomparable sons—may their shadows never be less!—are tired of their +jewelled rattles, and have thrown them on the floor. Doubtless they +would like India-rubber rings with bells better.’ + +“‘Then get them India-rubber rings with bells,’ was all King Schelim +said, and turned to his pipe again. + +“And so it went on perpetually, until one day it came to,— + +“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty’s +incomparable sons—may their shadows never be less!—have thrown their +hobbyhorses into the river, and want to have live ponies instead.’ + +“At the first moment the king gave his usual answer, ‘Then get them live +ponies instead,’ from a sort of mechanical habit, but the words were +scarcely uttered when he recalled them. This request awoke even his +sleepy soul out of its smoke-dream, and inquiring into the ages of his +sons, and finding that they were of years to learn as well as to ride, he +dismissed their nurses, placed them in the hands of tutors, and procured +for them the best masters of every description. + +“‘For,’ said he, ‘what saith the proverb? “Kings govern the earth, but +wise men govern kings.” My sons shall be wise as well as kingly, and +then they can govern themselves.’ + +“And after settling this so cleverly, King Schelim resumed his pipe, in +the confident hope, that now, at last, he should smoke it in peace. + +“‘For,’ said he, ‘when my sons shall become wise through learning, they +will be more moderate in their desires.’ + +“I do not know whether his Majesty’s incomparable sons relished this +change from nurses to tutors, but on that particular point they were +allowed no choice; so if they bemoaned themselves in their palace on the +hill, their father knew nothing of it. + +“And to soften the disagreeableness of the restraint which learning +imposes, King Schelim gave more strict orders than ever, that, provided +the young gentlemen only learnt their lessons well, every whim that came +into their heads should be complied with soon as expressed. + +“In spite of all his ingenious arrangements, however, the royal father +did not enjoy the amount of repose he expected. All was quiet enough +during lesson-hours, it is true; but as soon as ever that period had +elapsed, the young princes became as restless as ever. Nay—the older +they grew, the more they wanted, and the less pleased they became with +what was granted. + +“From very early days of the tutorship, the old story began:— + +“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty’s +incomparable sons—may their shadows never be less!—are tired of their +ponies, and want horses instead.’ + +“The king was a little disappointed at this, and actually laid down his +pipe to talk. + +“‘Is anything the matter with the ponies?’ he asked. + +“‘May it please your Majesty, no; only that your incomparable sons call +them _slow_.’ + +“‘Spirited lads!’ thought the king, quite consoled, and gave the answer +as usual:— + +“‘Then get them horses instead.’ But when only a few days afterwards he +was informed that his incomparable sons had wearied of their horses, +because they also were ‘slow,’ and wished to ride on elephants instead, +his Majesty began to feel disturbed in mind, and wonder what would come +next, and how it was that the teaching of the tutors did not make his +sons more moderate in their desires. + +“‘Nevertheless,’ said he, ‘what saith the proverb, “Thou a man, and +lackest patience?” And again, + + “Early ripe, early rotten, + Early wise, soon forgotten.” + +My sons are but children yet.’ + +“After which reflection he returned to his pipe as before, and disturbed +himself as little as possible, when messenger after messenger arrived, to +announce the fresh vagaries of the young princes. + +“It is impossible to enumerate all the luxuries, amusements, and +delights, they asked for, obtained, and wearied of during several years. +But the longer it went on, the more hardened and indifferent their father +became. + +“‘For,’ said he, ‘what saith the proverb? “The longest lane turns at +last.” At last my sons will have everything man can wish for, and then +they will cease from asking, and I shall smoke my pipe in peace.’ + +“One day, however, the messenger entered the royal smoking-room in a +greater hurry than ever, and was about to commence his usual elaborate +peroration respecting the incomparable sons, when his Majesty held up his +hand to stop him, and called out:— + +“‘What is it now?’ + +“‘May it please your Majesty, your Majesty’s in—’ + +“‘What is it they _want_?’ cried the king, interrupting him. + +“‘May it please your Majesty, _something to do_.’ + +“‘Something to do?’ repeated the perplexed king of the hills; ‘something +to do, when half the riches of my empire have been expended upon +providing them with the means of doing everything in the world that was +delightful to the soul of man? + +“‘Surely, oh son of a dog, thou art laughing at my beard, to come to me +with such a message from my sons.’ + +“‘Nevertheless, may it please your Majesty, I have spoken but the truth. +Your Majesty’s in—’ + +“‘Hush with that nonsense,’ interrupted the king. + +“‘Your Majesty’s sons, in fact, then, have sickened and pined for three +mortal days, because they have got _nothing to do_.’ + +“‘Now, then, my sons are mad!’ exclaimed poor King Schelim, laying down +his pipe, and rising from his recumbent position; ‘and it is time that I +bestir myself.’ + +“And thereupon he summoned his attendants, and sent for the royal Hakim, +that is to say, physician; and the most learned and experienced Dervish, +that is to say, religious teacher of the neighbourhood. + +“‘For,’ said he, ‘who knows whether this sickness is of the body or the +soul?’ + +“And having explained to them how he had brought up his children, the +indulgences with which he had surrounded them, the learning which he had +had instilled into them, and the way in which he had preserved them from +every annoying sight and sound, he concluded:— + +“‘What more could I have done for the happiness of my children than I +have done, and how is it that their reason has departed from them, so +that they are at a loss for something to do? Speak one or other of you +and explain.’ + +“Then the Dervish stepped forward, and opening his mouth, began to make +answer. + +“‘And,’ said he, ‘oh King of the Hills, in the bringing up of thy sons, +surely thou hast forgotten the proverb which saith, “He that would know +good manners, let him learn them from him who hath them not.” For even +so may the wise man say of happiness, “He that would know he is happy, +must learn it from him who is not.” But again, doth not another proverb +say, “Will thy candle burn less brightly for lighting mine?” Wherefore +the happiness which a man has, when he has discovered it, he is bound to +impart to those that have it not. Have I spoken well?’ + +“Then King and the Hakim declared he had spoken remarkably well; +nevertheless I am by no means sure that King Schelim knew what he meant. +Whereupon the Dervish offered to go at once to the four incomparable +princes, and cure them of their madness in supposing they had nothing to +do, and King Schelim in great delight, and thoroughly glad to be rid of +the trouble, told him that he placed his sons entirely in his hands; then +taking him aside, he addressed to him a parting word in confidence. + +“‘Thou knowest, oh wise Dervish, that I have had no education myself, and +therefore, as the proverb hath it, “To say _I don’t know_, is the comfort +of my life,” yet what better is a learned man than a fool, if he comes +but to this conclusion at last? See thou restore wisdom and something to +do to the souls of my sons.’ + +“Which the Dervish promised to accomplish, accordingly in company with +the Hakim, he betook himself to the palace of the four princes, his +Majesty’s incomparable sons. + +“Well, in spite of all they had heard, both the Dervish and Hakim were +surprised at what they really found at the palace of the four princes. + +“It was as if everything that human ingenuity could devise for the +gratification, amusement, and occupation both of body and mind had been +here brought together. Horses, elephants, chariots, creatures of every +description, for hunting, riding, driving, and all sorts of sport were +there, countless in numbers, and perfect in kind. Gardens, +pleasure-grounds, woods, flowers, birds, and fountains, to delight the +eye and ear; while within the palace were sources of still deeper +enjoyment. The songs of the poets and the wisdom of the ancients reposed +there upon golden shelves. Musicians held themselves in readiness to +pour exquisite melodies upon the air; games, exercises, in-door sports in +every variety could be commanded in a moment, and attendants waited in +all directions to fulfil their young masters’ will. + +“The poor old Dervish and Hakim looked at each other in fresh amazement +at every step they took, and neither of them could find a proverb to fit +so extraordinary a case. + +“At last, after a long walk through chambers and anti-chambers without +end, hung round with mirrors and ornaments, they reached the apartment of +the young princes, where they found the four incomparable creatures +lounging on four ottomans, sighing their hearts out, because they had +‘nothing to do.’ + +“As the door opened, the eldest prince glanced languidly round, and +inquired if the messenger had returned from their father, and being +answered that the Dervish and Hakim, who now stood before him, were +messengers from their father, he called out to know if the old gentleman +had sent them anything to do! + +“‘The king, your father’s spirit is disturbed with anxiety,’ answered the +Dervish, ‘lest some sudden calamity should have deprived his sons of the +use of their limbs or their senses, or lest their attendants should have +failed to provide them with everything the earth affords delightful to +the soul of man.’ + +“‘The king, our father’s spirit is disturbed with smoke,’ replied the +eldest prince, ‘or he never would have sent such an old fellow as you +with such an answer as that. What’s the use of the use of one’s limbs, +or one’s senses, or all the earth affords delightful to the soul of man, +if we’re sick of it all? Just go back and tell him we’ve got everything, +and are sick of everything, and can do everything, and don’t care to do +anything, because everything is so ‘slow;’ so we will trouble him to find +us something fresh to do. There! is that clear enough, old gentleman?’ + +“‘The king, your father,’ answered the Dervish, ‘has provided against +even that emergency; I am come to tell you of something fresh to see and +to do.’ + +“No sooner had the Dervish uttered these words, than the four princes +jumped up from the ottoman in the most lively and vigorous manner, and +clamoured to know what it was, expressing their hope that it was a ‘jolly +lark.’ + +“In answer to which the Dervish, lifting himself up in a commanding +manner, stretched out his arm, and exclaimed, in a solemn voice:— + +“‘Young men, you have exhausted happiness. Nothing new remains in the +world for you, but misery and want. Follow me!’ + +“There was something so unusual about the tone of this address, and it +was uttered in so imposing a manner, that the young princes were, as it +were, taken by storm, and they followed the Dervish and Hakim, without a +word of inquiry or objection. + +“And he led them away from the palace on the beautiful hill—away from all +the sights and sounds that were collected together there to delight the +soul of man with both bodily and intellectual enjoyment—down into the +city in the valley, among the close-packed habitations of common men, +congregated there to labour, and just exist, and then die. + +“And presently the Dervish and the Hakim spoke together, and then the +Hakim led the way through a gloomy by-street, till he came to a +habitation into which he entered, and the rest followed without a word. +And there, stretched upon a pallet, wasted and worn with pain, lay a +youth scarcely older than the young princes themselves, the lower part of +whose body was wrapped round with bandages, and who was unable to move. + +“The Hakim proceeded at once to unloosen the fastenings, and to examine +the limbs of the sufferer. They had been crushed by a frightful +accident, while working for his daily bread, in the quarries of marble +near the palace on the hill. + +“‘Is there no hope, my father?’ he ejaculated in agony as the bruised +thighs were exposed to the light, revealing a spectacle from which the +princes turned horrified away. + +“But the Dervish stood between them and the door, and motioned them back. + +“‘Is there no hope?’ repeated the youth. ‘Shall I never again tread the +earth in the freedom of health and strength? never again climb the +mountain-side to taste the sweet breath of heaven? never again even step +across this narrow room, to look forth into the narrow street?’ + +“Sobs of distress here broke from the speaker; and, covering his face +with his hands, he awaited the Hakim’s reply. But while the latter bent +down to whisper his answer, the Dervish addressed himself to the +trembling princes:— + +“‘Learn here, at last,’ said he, ‘the value of those limbs, the power of +using which you look upon with such thankless indifference. As it is +with this youth to-day, so may it be with you to-morrow, if the decree +goes forth from on high. Bid me not again return to your father to tell +him you are weary of a blessing, the loss of which would overwhelm you +with despair.’ + +“The young princes,” continued Aunt Judy, were, as their father had said, +but children yet; that is to say, although they were fourteen or fifteen +years old, they were childish, in not having reflected or learnt to +reason. But they were not hard-hearted at bottom. Their tenderness for +others had never been called out during their life of self-indulgence, +but the sight of this young man’s condition, whom they personally knew as +one who had at times been permitted to come up and join in their games, +over-powered them with dismay. + +“They entreated the Hakim to say if nothing could be done, and when he +told them that a nurse, and better food, and the discourse of a wise +companion, were all essential for the recovery of the patient, there was +not, to say the truth, one among them who was not ready with promises of +assistance, and even offers of personal help. + +“And now, bidding adieu to this youthful sufferer, whose distress seemed +to receive a sudden calm from the sympathy the young princes betrayed, +the Hakim led the way to another part of the town, where he entered a +house of rather better description, in a small room of which they found a +pale, middle-aged man, who was engaged in making a coarse sort of netting +for trees. Hearing the noise of the entrance, he looked up, and asked +who it was, but with no change of countenance, or apparent recognition of +anyone there. But as soon as the Hakim had uttered the words ‘It is I,’ +a gleam of delight stole over the pale face, and the man, rising from his +chair, stretched out his arms to the Hakim, entreating him to approach. + +“And then the young princes saw that the pale man was blind. + +“‘Is there any change, oh Cassian?’ inquired the Hakim, kindly. + +“‘None, my father,’ answered the blind man, in a subdued tone. ‘But +shall I murmur at what is appointed? Surely not in vain was the +privilege granted me, of transcribing the manuscripts which repose on the +golden shelves in the palace of the royal princes. Surely not in vain +did I gather, from the treasures of ancient wisdom, and the divine songs +of the poets, sources of consolation for the suffering children of men.’ + +“‘And has anyone been of late to read to you?’ asked the Hakim. + +“But this inquiry the blind man seemed scarcely able to answer. Big +tears gathered into the sightless eyes, and folding his hands across his +bosom, he murmured out:— + +“‘None, oh my father. Not to everyone is it permitted to trace the +characters of light in which the wise have recorded their wisdom. I +alone of my family knew the secret. I alone suffer now. But shall I not +submit to this also with a cheerful spirit? It is written, and it +behoves me to submit.’ + +“And, with tears streaming over his cheeks, the blind man took up the +netting which he had laid aside, and forced himself to the work. + +“‘Seest thou!’ exclaimed the Dervish, turning to the prince who stood +next him, apparently absorbed in contemplating the scene. ‘Seest thou +how precious are the powers thou hast wearied of in the spring-time of +life? How dear are the opportunities thou hast not cared to delight in? +Bid me not again return to the king, your father, to tell him his sons +can find no pleasure in blessings, the deprivation of which they +themselves would feel to be the shutting out of the sun from the soul.’ + +“Then the young prince to whom the Dervish addressed himself, wept +bitterly, and begged to be allowed to visit the blind man from time to +time, and read to him out of the manuscripts that reposed on the golden +shelves in the palace on the hill; and which, he now learnt for the first +time, had been transcribed for his use, and that of his brothers, by the +skill of the sufferer before him. + +“And when the blind man clasped his hands over his head, and would have +prostrated himself on the ground, in gratitude to him who spoke, asking +who the charitable pitier of the afflicted could be, the prince embraced +him as if he had been his brother, forced him back gently into his seat, +and bidding him await him at that hour on the morrow, followed the Hakim +from the house. + +“And now the Dervish and Hakim spoke together once again, and the place +they visited next was of a very different description. + +“Enclosed within walls, and limited in extent, because in the outskirts +of a populous town, the garden into which they presently entered, +was—though but as a drop in comparison with the ocean—no unworthy rival +of the gorgeous pleasure-grounds of the palace. There, too, the roses +unfolded themselves in their glory to the sun, tiny fountains scattered +their cooling spray around, and singing-birds, suspended on overshadowing +trees, of this scene of miniature beauty a venerable was perceived, +seated under the shadow of an arbour, in front of a table on which were +scattered manuscripts, papers, parchments, and dried plants, and in one +corner of which were laid a set of tablets and writing materials. + +“Although the door by which they entered had fallen to, with a noise as +they passed through, the old man did not seem to be aware of it, nor did +he notice their presence until they came so near, that their shadows fell +on some of the papers on the table. Then, indeed, he looked suddenly up, +and with a smile and gesture of delight, bade them welcome. + +“It was not difficult to divine that the old man had lost the sense of +hearing, and the Dervish, taking up the tablets from the table, wrote +upon them the following words, which he showed to the young princes, +before presenting them to him for whom they were intended:— + +“‘Hast thou not wearied yet, oh brother, of thy narrow garden, and the +ever-recurring succession of flowers, and thy study of the secrets of +Nature?’ + +“Whereat the deaf man smiled again, and wrote upon the tablets:— + +“‘Can anyone weary of tracing out the skilful providence of the Divine +Mind? Is it not a world within a world, oh my brother, and inexhaustible +in itself?’ + +“The youngest prince pressed forward to read the answer, and having read +it, turned to the Dervish, and said, ‘Ask him why the singing-birds are +suspended in the garden, whose voices he cannot hear.’ + +“‘Write on the tablet, my son,’ said the Dervish; and when he had written +it, the old man answered, in the same manner as before:— + +“‘I would remember my infirmity, my son, lest my soul should be tied to +the beauties of the visible world, but now when I see the twittering +bills of the feathered songsters, I remember that one sense has departed, +and that the others must follow; and I prepare myself for death, trusting +that those who have rejoiced in the Divine Mind—however imperfectly—here, +may rejoice yet more hereafter, when no sense or power shall be wanting!’ + +“After this, the venerable old man led them to a secluded corner of the +garden, where his young son was instructing one portion of a class of +children from the secrets of his father’s manuscripts, while another set +of youngsters were engaged in cultivating flowers, by regular instruction +and rule. Many a bright, cheerful face looked up at the old man and his +visitors as they passed, but no one seemed to wish to leave his work, or +his lesson, or the kind young tutor who ruled among them. + +“‘We have wasted our lives, oh my father!’ exclaimed the young princes, +as they passed from this sight. ‘Tell us, may we not come back again +here, to learn true wisdom from this man and his son?’ + +“Having obtained the old man’s willing consent to his, the Hakim retiring +conducted his companions back into the streets; and the young princes, +whose eyes were now opened to the instruction they were receiving, came +up to the Dervish, and said:— + +“‘Oh, wise Dervish, we have learnt the lesson you would teach, and we +know now that it is but a folly, and a mockery, and a lie, when a man +says that he has nothing to do. There is enough to do for all men, if +their minds are directed right! Have I not spoken well?’ + +“‘Thou hast spoken well according to thy knowledge,’ answered the +Dervish, ‘but thou hast yet another lesson to learn.’ + +“The prince was silenced, and the Dervish and Hakim hurried forward to a +still different part of the city, where several trades were carried on, +and where in one place they came upon an open square, about which a +number of gaunt, wild-looking men, were lounging or sitting; unoccupied, +listless, and sad. + +“‘This is wrong, my father, is it not?’ inquired one of the princes; but +the Dervish, instead of answering him, addressed a man who was standing +somewhat apart from the others, and inquired why he was loitering there +in idleness, instead of occupying himself in some honest manner? + +“The man laughed a bitter mocking laugh, and turning to his companions, +shouted out, ‘Hear what the wise man asks! When trade has failed, and no +one wants our labour, he asks us why we stand idling here!’ Then, facing +the Dervish, he continued, ‘Do you not know, can you not see, oh teacher +of the blind, that we have got _nothing to do_?—_Nothing to do_!’ he +repeated with a loud cry—‘_Nothing to do_! with hearts willing to work, +and hands able to work,’—(here he stretched out his bared, muscular arm +to the Dervish,)—‘and wife and children calling out for food! Give us +_something to do_, thou preacher of virtue and industry,’ he concluded, +throwing himself on the ground in anguish; ‘or, at any rate, cease to +mock us with the solemn inquiry of a fool.’ + +“‘Oh, my father, my father,’ cried the young princes, pressing forward, +‘this is the worst, the very worst of all! All things can be borne, but +this dire reality of having _nothing to do_. Let us find them something +to do. Let us tear up our gardens, plough up our lawns, and +pleasure-grounds, so that we do but find work for these men, and save +their children and wives from hunger.’ + +“‘And themselves from crime,’ added the Dervish solemnly. Then quitting +his companions, he went into the crowd of men, and made known to them in +a few hurried words, that, by the order of their young princes, there +would, before another day had dawned, be something found to do for them +all. + +“The cheer of gratitude which followed this announcement, thrilled +through the heart of those who had been enabled to offer the boon, and so +overpowered them, that, after a liberal distribution of coin to the +necessitous labourers, they gladly hurried away. + +“‘Now my task is ended,’ cried the Dervish, as they retraced their steps +to the palace on the hill. ‘My sons, you have seen the sacred sorrow +which may attach to the bitter complaint of having _Nothing to do_. +Henceforth seal your lips over the words, for, in all other cases but +this, they are, as you yourselves have said, a folly, a mockery, and a +lie.’ + +“It is scarcely necessary to add,” continued Aunt Judy, “that the young +princes returned to the palace in a very different state of mind from +that in which they left it. They had now so many things to do in +prospect, so much to plan and inquire about, that when the night closed +upon them, they wondered how the day had gone, and grudged the necessary +hours of sleep. But on the morrow, just as they were eagerly +recommencing their left-off consultations, the Dervish appeared among +them, and suggested that their first duty still remained unthought of. + +“The incomparable sons were now really surprised, for they had been +flattering themselves they were most laudably employed. But the Dervish +reminded them, that, although their duty to mankind in general was great, +their duty to their father in particular was yet greater, and that it +behoved them to set his mind at rest, by assuring him, that henceforth +they would not prevent him from smoking his pipe in peace, by restless +discontent, and disturbing messages and wants. + +“To this the young princes readily agreed, and thoroughly ashamed, on +reflection, of the years of harass with which they, in their thoughtless +ingratitude, had worried poor King Schelim, they repaired to his +presence, and without entering into unnecessary explanations, (which he +would not have understood,) assured him that they were perfectly happy, +that they had got plenty to do, as well as everything to enjoy, that they +were very sorry they had tormented him for so long a period of his life, +but that they begged to be forgiven, and would never do so again! + +“King Schelim was uncommonly pleased with what they said, although he had +to lay down his pipe for a few minutes to receive their salutations, and +give his in return; after which they returned to their palace on the +hill, and led thenceforward useful, intelligent, and therefore happy +lives, reforming grievances, consoling sorrows, and taking particular +care that everybody had the opportunity of having _something to do_. + +“And as they never again disturbed their father King Schelim, with +foolish messages, he smoked his pipe in peace to the end of his days.” + +“Nice old Schelim!” observed No. 8, when Aunt Judy’s pause showed that +the story was done. A conclusion which made the other little ones laugh; +but now Aunt Judy spoke again. + +“You like the story, all of you?” + +Could there be a doubt about it? No! “Schelim, King of the Hills, and +his four sons,” was one of Aunt Judy’s very, very, very, best inventions. +But they had the happy knack of always thinking so of the last they +heard. + +“And yet there is a flaw in it,” said Aunt Judy. + +“Aunt Judy!” exclaimed several voices at once, in a tone of +expostulation. + +“Yes; I mean in the moral:” pursued she, “there is no Christianity in the +teaching, and therefore it is not perfect, although it is all very good +as far as it goes.” + +“But they were eastern people, and I suppose Mahometans or Brahmins,” +suggested No. 4. + +“Exactly; and, therefore, I could not give them Christian principles; +and, therefore, although I have made my four princes turn out very well, +and do what was right, for the rest of their lives (as I had a right to +do); yet it is only proper I should explain, that I do not believe any +people can be _depended upon_ for doing right, except when they live upon +Christian principles, and are helped by the grace of God, to fulfil His +will, as revealed to us by His Son Jesus Christ. + +“Certainly it is always more _reasonable_ to do right than wrong, even +when the wrong may seem most pleasant at the moment; because, as all +people of sense know, doing right is most for their own happiness, as +well as for everybody else’s, even in this world. + +“But although the knowledge of this may influence us when we are in a +sober enough state of mind to think about it calmly, the inducement is +not a sufficiently strong one to be relied upon as a safe-guard, when +storms of passion and strong temptations come upon us. In such cases it +very often goes for nothing, and then it is a perfect chance which way a +person acts. + +“Even in the matter of doing good to others, we need the Christian +principle as our motive, or we may be often tempted to give it up, or +even to be as cruel at some moments, as we are kind at others. It is +very pleasant, no doubt, to do good, and be charitable, when the feeling +comes into the heart, but the mere pleasure is apt to cease, if we find +people thankless or stupid, and that our labours seem to have been in +vain. And what a temptation there is, then, to turn away in disgust, +unless we are acting upon Christ’s commands, and can bear in mind, that +even when the pleasure ends, the duty remains. + +“And now,” said Aunt Judy in conclusion, “a kiss for the story-teller all +round, if you please. She has had an invitation, and is going from home +to-morrow.” + +“Oh, Aunt Judy!” ejaculated the little ones, in not the most cheerful of +tones. + +“Well,” cried Aunt Judy, looking at them and laughing, “you don’t mean to +say that you will not find _plenty to do_, and _plenty to enjoy_ while I +am away? Come, I mean to write to you all by turns, and I shall inquire +in my letters whether you have remembered, _to your edification_, the +story of Schelim, King of the Hills, and his four sons.” + + + + +FOOTNOTES + + +{47} “Weide,” pasture, grass. + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AUNT JUDY'S TALES*** + + +******* This file should be named 5074-0.txt or 5074-0.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/5/0/7/5074 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. 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Lane + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: Aunt Judy's Tales + + +Author: Mrs. Alfred Gatty + + + +Release Date: July 31, 2019 [eBook #5074] +[This file was first posted on April 14, 2002] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AUNT JUDY'S TALES*** +</pre> +<p>1Transcribed from the 1859 Bell and Daldy edition by David +Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org</p> +<h1><span class="smcap">Aunt Judy’s Tales</span></h1> +<p style="text-align: center">BY MRS. ALFRED GATTY,<br /> +<span class="GutSmall">AUTHOR OF “PARABLES FROM</span><br +/> +<span class="GutSmall">NATURE,” ETC.</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center">ILLUSTRATED BY CLARA S. LANE.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">SECOND +EDITION.</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center"> +<a href="images/tpb.jpg"> +<img alt= +"Decorative graphic of bells" +title= +"Decorative graphic of bells" + src="images/tps.jpg" /> +</a></p> +<p style="text-align: center">LONDON:</p> +<p style="text-align: center">BELL AND DALDY, 186, FLEET +STREET.<br /> +1859.</p> + +<div class="gapspace"> </div> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall"><i>The Right +of Translation is reserved</i></span><span +class="GutSmall">.</span></p> + +<div class="gapspace"> </div> +<p style="text-align: center">TO THE “LITTLE ONES”<br +/> +<span class="GutSmall">IN MANY HOMES,</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">THIS +VOLUME</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">IS</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">DEDICATED.</span></p> +<p style="text-align: right">M. G.</p> +<h2>CONTENTS.</h2> +<table> +<tr> +<td><p> </p> +</td> +<td><p style="text-align: right"><span +class="GutSmall">Page</span></p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><span class="smcap">The little Victims</span></p> +</td> +<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><a +href="#page1">1</a></span></p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><span class="smcap">Vegetables out of Place</span></p> +</td> +<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><a +href="#page26">26</a></span></p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><span class="smcap">Cook Stories</span></p> +</td> +<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><a +href="#page48">48</a></span></p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><span class="smcap">Rabbits’ Tails</span></p> +</td> +<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><a +href="#page77">77</a></span></p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><span class="smcap">Out of the Way</span></p> +</td> +<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><a +href="#page104">104</a></span></p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><span class="smcap">Nothing to do</span></p> +</td> +<td><p style="text-align: right"><span class="indexpageno"><a +href="#page141">141</a></span></p> +</td> +</tr> +</table> +<p style="text-align: center"> +<a href="images/p1b.jpg"> +<img alt= +"Aunt Judy and the Little ones" +title= +"Aunt Judy and the Little ones" + src="images/p1s.jpg" /> +</a></p> +<h2><a name="page1"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 1</span>THE +LITTLE VICTIMS.</h2> +<blockquote><p>“Save our blessings, Master, save,<br /> +From the blight of thankless eye.”</p> +<p style="text-align: right"><i>Lyra Innocentium</i>.</p> +</blockquote> +<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is not a more charming sight +in the domestic world, than that of an elder girl in a large +family, amusing what are called the <i>little ones</i>.</p> +<p>How could mamma have ventured upon that cosy nap in the +arm-chair by the fire, if she had been harassed by wondering what +the children were about? Whereas, as it was, she had +overheard No. 8 begging the one they all called “Aunt +Judy,” to come and tell them a story, and she had beheld +Aunt Judy’s nod of consent; whereupon she had shut her +eyes, and composed herself to sleep quite complacently, under the +pleasant conviction that all things were sure to be in a state of +peace and security, so long as the children were listening to one +of those curious stories of Aunt Judy’s, in which, with so +much drollery and amusement, there was sure to be mixed up some +odd scraps of information, or bits of good advice.</p> +<p>So, mamma being asleep on one side of the fire, and papa +reading the newspaper on the other, Aunt Judy and No. 8 +noiselessly left the room, and repaired to the large +red-curtained dining-room, where the former sat down to concoct +her story, while the latter ran off to collect the little ones +together.</p> +<p>In less than five minutes’ time there was a stream of +noise along the passage—a bursting open of the door, and a +crowding round the fire, by which Aunt Judy sat.</p> +<p>The “little ones” had arrived in full force and +high expectation. We will not venture to state their +number. An order from Aunt Judy, that they should take +their seats quietly, was but imperfectly obeyed; and a certain +amount of hustling and grumbling ensued, which betrayed a rather +quarrelsome tendency.</p> +<p>At last, however, the large circle was formed, and the bright +firelight danced over sunny curls and eager faces. Aunt +Judy glanced her eye round the group; but whatever her opinion as +an artist might have been of its general beauty, she was by no +means satisfied with the result of her inspection.</p> +<p>“No. 6 and No. 7,” cried she, “you are not +fit to listen to a story at present. You have come with +dirty hands.”</p> +<p>No. 6 frowned, and No. 7 broke out at once into a howl; he had +washed his hands ever so short a time ago, and had done nothing +since but play at knuckle-bones on the floor! Surely people +needn’t wash their hands every ten minutes! It was +very hard!</p> +<p>Aunt Judy had rather a logical turn of mind, so she set about +expounding to the “little ones” in general, and to +Nos. 6 and 7 in particular, that the proper time for washing +people’s hands was when their hands were dirty; no matter +how lately the operation had been performed before. Such, +at least, she said, was the custom in England, and everyone ought +to be proud of belonging to so clean and respectable a +country. She, therefore, insisted that Nos. 6 and 7 should +retire up-stairs and perform the necessary ablution, or otherwise +they would be turned out, and not allowed to listen to the +story.</p> +<p>Nos. 6 and 7 were rather restive. The truth was, it had +been one of those unlucky days which now and then will occur in +families, in which everything seemed to be perverse and go +askew. It was a dark, cold, rainy day in November, and +going out had been impossible. The elder boys had worried, +and the younger ones had cried. It was Saturday too, and +the maids were scouring in all directions, waking every echo in +the back-premises by the grating of sand-stone on the flags; and +they had been a good deal discomposed by the family effort to +play at “Wolf” in the passages. Mamma had been +at accounts all the morning, trying to find out some magical +corner in which expenses could be reduced between then and the +arrival of Christmas bills; and, moreover, it was a half-holiday, +and the children had, as they call it, nothing to do.</p> +<p>So Nos. 6 and 7, who had been vexed about several other little +matters before, during the course of the day, broke out now on +the subject of the washing of their hands.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy was inexorable however—inexorable though cool; +and the rest got impatient at the delay which the debate +occasioned: so, partly by coaxing, and partly by the threat of +being shut out from hearing the story, Nos. 6 and 7 were at last +prevailed upon to go up-stairs and wash their grim little paws +into that delicate shell-like pink, which is the characteristic +of juvenile fingers when clean.</p> +<p>As they went out, however, they murmured, in whimpered tones, +that they were sure it was <i>very hard</i>!</p> +<p>After their departure, Aunt Judy requested the rest not to +talk, and a complete silence ensued, during which one or two of +the youngest evidently concluded that she was composing her +story, for they stared at her with all their might, as if to +discover how she did it.</p> +<p>Meantime the rain beat violently against the panes, and the +red curtains swayed to and fro from the effect of the wind, +which, in spite of tolerable woodwork, found its way through the +divisions of the windows. There was something very dreary +in the sound, and very odd in the varying shades of red which +appeared upon the curtains as they swerved backwards and forwards +in the firelight.</p> +<p>Several of the children observed it, but no one spoke until +the footsteps of Nos. 6 and 7 were heard approaching the door, on +which a little girl ventured to whisper, “I’m very +glad I’m not out in the wind and rain;” and a boy +made answer, “Why, who would be so silly as to think of +going out in the wind and rain? Nobody, of +course!”</p> +<p>At that moment Nos. 6 and 7 entered, and took their places on +two little Derby chairs, having previously showed their pink +hands in sombre silence to Aunt Judy, whereupon Aunt Judy turned +herself so as to face the whole group, and then began her story +as follows:—</p> +<p>“There were once upon a time eight little Victims, who +were shut up in a large stone-building, where they were watched +night and day by a set of huge grown-up keepers, who made them do +whatever they chose.”</p> +<p>“Don’t make it <i>too</i> sad, Aunt Judy,” +murmured No. 8, half in a tremble already.</p> +<p>“You needn’t be frightened, No. 8,” was the +answer; “my stories always end well.”</p> +<p>“I’m so glad,” chuckled No. 8 with a grin, +as he clapped one little fat hand down upon the other on his lap +in complete satisfaction. “Go on, please.”</p> +<p>“Was the large stone-building a prison, Aunt +Judy?” inquired No. 7.</p> +<p>“That depends upon your ideas of a prison,” +answered Aunt Judy. “What do you suppose a prison +is?”</p> +<p>“Oh, a great big place with walls all round, where +people are locked up, and can’t go in and out as they +choose.”</p> +<p>“Very well. Then I think you may be allowed to +call the place in which the little Victims were kept a prison, +for it certainly was a great big place with walls all round, and +they were locked up at night, and not allowed to go in and out as +they chose.”</p> +<p>“Poor things,” murmured No. 8; but he consoled +himself by recollecting that the story was to end well.</p> +<p>“Aunt Judy, before you go on, do tell us what +<i>victims</i> are? Are they fairies, or what? I +don’t know.”</p> +<p>This was the request of No. 5, who was rather more thoughtful +than the rest, and was apt now and then to delay a story by his +inquiring turn of mind.</p> +<p>No. 6 was in a hurry to hear some more, and nudged No. 5 to +make him be quiet; but Aunt Judy interposed; said she did not +like to tell stories to people who didn’t care to know what +they meant, and declared that No. 5 was quite right in asking +what a victim was.</p> +<p>“A victim,” said she, “was the creature +which the old heathens used to offer up as a sacrifice, after +they had gained a victory in battle. You all remember I +dare say,” continued she, “what a sacrifice is, and +have heard about Abel’s sacrifice of the firstlings of his +flock.”</p> +<p>The children nodded assent, and Aunt Judy went on:—</p> +<p>“No such sacrifices are ever offered up now by us +Christians, and so there are no more real <i>victims</i> +now. But we still use the word, and call any creature a +victim who is ill-used, or hurt, or destroyed by somebody +else.</p> +<p>“If you, any of you, were to worry or kill the cat, for +instance, then the cat would be called <i>the victim of your +cruelty</i>; and in the same manner the eight little Victims I am +going to tell you about were the victims of the whims and cruel +prejudices of those who had the charge of them.</p> +<p>“And now, before I proceed any further, I am going to +establish a rule, that whenever I tell you anything very sad +about the little Victims, you shall all of you groan aloud +together. So groan here, if you please, now that you quite +understand what a victim is.”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy glanced round the circle, and they all groaned +together to order, led off by Nos. 3 and 4, who did not, it must +be owned, look in a very mournful state while they performed the +ceremony.</p> +<p>It was wonderful what good that groan did them all! It +seemed to clear off half the troubles of the day, and at its +conclusion a smile was visible on every face.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy then proceeded:—</p> +<p>“I do not want to make you cry too much, but I will tell +you of the miseries the captive victims underwent in the course +of one single day, and then you will be able to judge for +yourselves what a life they led together.</p> +<p>“One of their heaviest miseries happened every +evening. It was the misery of <i>going to bed</i>. +Perhaps now you may think it sounds odd that going to bed should +be called a misery. But you shall hear how it was.</p> +<p>“In the evening, when all the doors were safely locked +and bolted, so that no one could get away, the little Victims +were summoned down-stairs, and brought into a room where some of +the keepers were sure to be sitting in the greatest luxury. +There was generally a warm fire on the hearth, and a beautiful +lamp on the table, which shed an agreeable light around, and made +everything look so pretty and gay, the hearts of the poor +innocent Victims always rose at the sight.</p> +<p>“Sometimes there would be a huge visitor or two present, +who would now and then take the Victims on their knees, and say +all manner of entertaining things to them. Or there would +be nice games for them to play at. Or the keepers +themselves would kiss them, and call them kind names, as if they +really loved them. How nice all this sounds, does it +not? And it would have been nice, if the keepers would but +have let it last for ever. But that was just the one thing +they never would do, and the consequence was, that, whatever +pleasure they might have had, the wretched Victims always ended +by being dissatisfied and sad.</p> +<p>“And how could it be otherwise? Just when they +were at the height of enjoyment, just when everything was most +delightful, a horrible knock was sure to be heard at the door, +the meaning of which they all knew but too well. It was the +knock which summoned them to bed; and at such a moment you cannot +wonder that going to bed was felt to be a misfortune.</p> +<p>“Had there been a single one among them who was sleepy, +or tired, or ready for bed, there would have been some excuse for +the keepers; but as it was, there was none, for the little +Victims never knew what it was to feel tired or weary on those +occasions, and were always carried forcibly away before that +feeling came on.</p> +<p>“Of course, when the knock was heard, they would begin +to cry, and say that it was very hard, and that they didn’t +<i>want</i> to go to bed, and one went so far once as to add that +she <i>wouldn’t</i> go to bed.</p> +<p>“But it was all in vain. The little Victims might +as well have attempted to melt a stone wall as those hard-hearted +beings who had the charge of them.</p> +<p>“And now, my dears,” observed Aunt Judy, stopping +in her account, “this is of all others the exact moment at +which you ought to show your sympathy with the sufferers, and +groan.”</p> +<p>The little ones groaned accordingly, but in a very feeble +manner.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy shook her head.</p> +<p>“That groan is not half hearty enough for such a +misery. Don’t you think, if you tried hard, you could +groan a little louder?”</p> +<p>They did try, and succeeded a little better, but cast furtive +glances at each other immediately after.</p> +<p>“Were the beds very uncomfortable ones, Aunt +Judy?” inquired No. 8, in a subdued voice.</p> +<p>“You shall judge for yourself,” was the +answer. “They were raised off the floor upon legs, so +that no wind from under the door could get at them; and on the +flat bottom called the bed-stock, there was placed a thick strong +bag called a mattress, which was stuffed with some soft material +which made it springy and pleasant to touch or lie down +upon. The shape of it was a long square, or what may be +called a rectangular parallelogram. I strongly advise you +all to learn that word, for it is rather an amusing idea as one +steps into bed, to think that one is going to sleep upon a +parallelogram.”</p> +<p>Nos. 3 and 4 were here unable to contain themselves, but broke +into a peal of laughter. The little ones stared.</p> +<p>“Well,” resumed Aunt Judy, “for my part, I +think it’s a very nice thing to learn the ins and outs of +one’s own life; to consider how one’s bed is made, +and the why and wherefore of its shape and position. It is +a great pity to get so accustomed to things as not to know their +value till we lose them! But to proceed.</p> +<p>“On the top of this parallelogramatic mattress was laid +a soft blanket. On the top of that blanket, two white +sheets. On the top of the sheets, two or more warm +blankets, and on the top of the blankets, a spotted cover called +a counterpane.</p> +<p>“Now it was between the sheets that each little Victim +was laid, and such were the receptacles to which they were +unwillingly consigned, night after night of their lives!</p> +<p>“But I have not yet told you half the troubles of this +dreadful ‘going to bed.’ A good fire with a +large tub before it, and towels hung over the fender, was always +the first sight which met the tearful eyes of the little Victims +as they entered the nursery after being torn from the joys of the +room down-stairs. And then, lo and behold! a new misery +began, for, whether owing to the fatigue of getting up-stairs, or +that their feelings had been so much hurt, they generally +discovered at this moment that they were one and all so +excessively tired, they didn’t know what to do;—of +all things, did not choose to be washed—and insisted, each +of them, on being put to bed first! But let them say what +they would, and cry afresh as they pleased, and even snap and +snarl at each other like so many small terriers, those cruel +keepers of theirs never would grant their requests; never would +put any of them to bed dirty, and always declared that it was +impossible to put each of them to bed first!</p> +<p>“Imagine now the feelings of those who had to wait round +the fire while the others were attended to! Imagine the +weariness, the disgust, before the whole party was finished, and +put by for the night!”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy paused, but no one spoke.</p> +<p>“What!” cried she suddenly, “will nobody +groan? Then I must groan myself!” which she did, and +a most unearthly noise she made; so much so, that two or three of +the little ones turned round to look at the swelling red +curtains, just to make sure the howl did not proceed from +thence.</p> +<p>After which Aunt Judy continued her tale:—</p> +<p>“So much for night and going to bed, about which there +is nothing more to relate, as the little Victims were uncommonly +good sleepers, and seldom awoke till long after daylight.</p> +<p>“Well now, what do you think? By the time they had +had a good night, they felt so comfortable in their beds, that +they were quite contented to remain there; and then, of course, +their tormentors never rested till they had forced them to get +up! Poor little things! Just think of their being +made to go to bed at night, when they most disliked it, and then +made to get up in the morning, when they wanted to stay in +bed! It certainly was, as they always said, ‘very, +very hard.’ This was, of course, a winter misery, +when the air was so frosty and cold that it was very unpleasant +to jump out into it from a warm nest. Terrible scenes took +place on these occasions, I assure you, for sometimes the +wretched Victims would sit shivering on the floor, crying over +their socks and shoes instead of putting them on, (which they had +no spirit for,) and then the savage creatures who managed them +would insult them by irritating speeches.</p> +<p>“‘Come, Miss So-and-So,’ one would say, +‘don’t sit fretting there; there’s a warm fire, +and a nice basin of bread-and-milk waiting for you, if you will +only be quick and get ready.’</p> +<p>“Get ready! a nice order indeed! It meant that +they must wash themselves and be dressed before they would be +allowed to touch a morsel of food.</p> +<p>“But it is of no use dwelling on the unfeelingness of +those keepers. One day one of them actually +said:—</p> +<p>“‘If you knew what it was to have to get up +without a fire to come to, and without a breakfast to eat, you +would leave off grumbling at nothing.’</p> +<p>“<i>Nothing</i>! they called it <i>nothing</i> to have +to get out of a warm bed into the fresh morning air, and dress +before breakfast!</p> +<p>“Well, my dears,” pursued Aunt Judy, after waiting +here a few seconds, to see if anybody would groan, “I shall +take it for granted you feel for the <i>getting-up</i> misery as +well as the <i>going-to-bed</i> one, although you have not +groaned as I expected. I will just add, in conclusion, that +the summer <i>getting-up</i> misery was just the reverse of this +winter one. Then the poor little wretches were expected to +wait till their nursery was dusted and swept; so there they had +to lie, sometimes for half-an-hour, with the sun shining in upon +them, not allowed to get up and come out into the dirt and +dust!</p> +<p>“Of course, on those occasions they had nothing to do +but squabble among themselves and teaze; and I assure you they +had every now and then a very pleasant little revenge on their +keepers, for they half worried them out of their lives by +disturbances and complaints, and at any rate that was some +comfort to them, although very often it hindered the nursery from +being done half as soon as it would have been if they had been +quiet.</p> +<p>“I shall not have time to tell of everything,” +continued Aunt Judy, “so I must hurry over the breakfast, +although the keepers contrived to make even that miserable, by +doing all they could to prevent the little Victims from spilling +their food on the table and floor, and also by insisting on the +poor little things sitting tolerably upright on their +seats—<i>not</i> lolling with both elbows on the +table-cloth—<i>not</i> making a mess—not, in short, +playing any of those innocent little pranks in which young +creatures take delight.</p> +<p>“It was a pitiable spectacle, as you may suppose, to see +reasonable beings constrained against their inclinations to sit +quietly while they ate their hearty morning meal, which really, +perhaps, they might have enjoyed, had they been allowed to amuse +themselves in their own fashion at the same time.</p> +<p>“But I must go on now to that great misery of the day, +which I shall call the <i>lesson</i> misery.</p> +<p>“Now you must know, the little Victims were all born, as +young kids, lambs, kittens, and puppy-dogs are, with a decided +liking for jumping about and playing all day long. Think, +therefore, what their sufferings were when they were placed in +chairs round a table, and obliged to sit and stare at queer +looking characters in books until they had learned to know them +what was called <i>by heart</i>. It was a very odd way of +describing it, for I am sure they had often no heart in the +matter, unless it was a hearty dislike.</p> +<p>“‘Tommy Brown in the village never learns any +lessons,’ cried one of them once to the creature who was +teaching him, ‘why should I? He is always playing at +oyster-dishes in the gutter when I see him, and enjoying +himself. I wish <i>I</i> might enjoy myself!’</p> +<p>“Poor Victim! He little thought what a tiresome +lecture this clever remark of his would bring on his devoted +head!</p> +<p>“Don’t ask me to repeat it. It amounted +merely to this, that twenty years hence he would he very glad he +had learnt something else besides making oyster-dishes in the +streets. As if that signified to him now! As if it +took away the nuisance of having to learn at the present moment, +to be told it would be of use hereafter! What was the use +of its being of use by-and-by?</p> +<p>“So thought the little Victim, young as he was; so, said +he, in a muttering voice:—</p> +<p>“‘I don’t care about twenty years hence; I +want to be happy now!’</p> +<p>“This was unanswerable, as you may suppose; so the +puzzled teacher didn’t attempt to make a reply, but +said:—</p> +<p>“‘Go on with your lessons, you foolish little +boy!’</p> +<p>“See what it is to be obstinate,” pursued Aunt +Judy. “See how it blinds people’s eyes, and +prevents them from knowing right from wrong! Pray take +warning, and never be obstinate yourselves; and meantime, let us +have a good hearty groan for the <i>lesson</i> misery.”</p> +<p>The little ones obeyed, and breathed out a groan that seemed +to come from the very depths of their hearts; but somehow or +other, as the story proceeded, the faces looked rather less +amused, and rather more anxious, than at first.</p> +<p>What could the little ones be thinking about to make them +grave?</p> +<p>It was evidently quite a relief when Aunt Judy went +on:—</p> +<p>“You will be very much surprised, I dare say,” +said she, “to hear of the next misery I am going to tell +you about. It may be called the <i>dinner</i> misery, and +the little Victims underwent it every day.”</p> +<p>“Did they give them nasty things to eat, Aunt +Judy?” murmured No. 8, very anxiously.</p> +<p>“More likely not half enough,” suggested No. +5.</p> +<p>“But you promised not to make the story <i>too</i> sad, +remember!” observed No. 6.</p> +<p>“I did,” replied Aunt Judy, “and the +<i>dinner</i> misery did not consist in nasty food, or there not +being enough. They had plenty to eat, I assure you, and +everything was good. But—”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy stopped short, and glanced at each of the little +ones in succession.</p> +<p>“Make haste, Aunt Judy!” cried No. 8. +“But what?”</p> +<p>“<i>But</i>,” resumed Aunt Judy, in her most +impressive tone, “they had to wait between the +courses.”</p> +<p>Again Aunt Judy paused, and there was a looking hither and +thither among the little ones, and a shuffling about on the small +Derby chairs, while one or two pairs of eyes were suddenly turned +to the fire, as if watching it relieved a certain degree of +embarrassment which their owners began to experience.</p> +<p>“It is not every little boy or girl,” was Aunt +Judy’s next remark, “who knows what the courses of a +dinner are.”</p> +<p>“<i>I</i> don’t,” interposed No. 8, in a +distressed voice, as if he had been deeply injured.</p> +<p>“Oh, you think not? Well, not by name, +perhaps,” answered Aunt Judy. “But I will +explain. The courses of a dinner are the different sorts of +food, which follow each other one after the other, till dinner is +what people call ‘over.’ Thus, supposing a +dinner was to begin with pea-soup, as you have sometimes seen it +do, you would expect when it was taken away to see some meat put +upon the table, should you not?”</p> +<p>The little ones nodded assent.</p> +<p>“And after the meat was gone, you would expect pie or +pudding, eh?”</p> +<p>They nodded assent again, and with a smile.</p> +<p>“And if after the pudding was carried away, you saw some +cheese and celery arrive, it would not startle you very much, +would it?”</p> +<p>The little ones did nothing but laugh.</p> +<p>“Very well,” pursued Aunt Judy, “such a +dinner as we have been talking about consists of four +courses. The soup course, the meat course, the pudding +course, and the cheese course. And it was while one course +was being carried out, and another fetched in, that the little +Victims had to wait; and that was the <i>dinner</i> misery I +spoke about, and a very grievous affair it was. Sometimes +they had actually to wait several minutes, with nothing to do but +to fidget on their chairs, lean backwards till they toppled over, +or forward till some accident occurred at the table. And +then, poor little things, if they ventured to get out their +knuckle-bones for a game, or took to a little boxing amusement +among themselves, or to throwing the salt in each other’s +mugs, or pelting each other with bits of bread, or anything nice +and entertaining, down came those merciless keepers on their +innocent mirth, and the old stupid order went round for sitting +upright and quiet. Nothing that I can say about it would be +half as expressive as what the little Victims used to say +themselves. They said that it was ‘<i>so very +hard</i>.’</p> +<p>“Now, then, a good groan for the <i>dinner</i> +misery,” exclaimed Aunt Judy in conclusion.</p> +<p>The order was obeyed, but somewhat reluctantly, and then Aunt +Judy proceeded with her tale.</p> +<p>“On one occasion of the <i>dinner</i> misery,” +resumed she, “there happened to be a stranger lady present, +who seemed to be very much shocked by what the Victims had to +undergo, and to pity them very much; so she said she would set +them a nice little puzzle to amuse them till the second course +arrived. But now, what do you think the puzzle was? +It was a question, and this was it. ‘Which is the +harder thing to bear—to have to wait for your dinner, or to +have no dinner to wait for?’</p> +<p>“I do not think the little Victims would have quite +known what the stranger lady meant, if she had not explained +herself; for you see <i>they</i> had never gone without dinner in +their lives, so they had not an idea what sort of a feeling it +was to have <i>no dinner to wait for</i>. But she went on +to tell them what it was like as well as she could. She +described to them little Tommy Brown, (whom they envied so much +for having no lessons to do,) eating his potatoe soaked in the +dripping begged at the squire’s back-door, without anything +else to wait—or hope for. She told them that +<i>he</i> was never teazed as to how he sat, or even whether he +sat or stood, and then she asked them if they did not think he +was a very happy little boy? He had no trouble or bother, +but just ate his rough morsel in any way he pleased, and then was +off, hungry or not hungry, into the streets again.</p> +<p>“To tell you the truth,” pursued Aunt Judy, +“the Victims did not know what to say to the lady’s +account of little Tommy Brown’s happiness; but as the roast +meat came in just as it concluded, perhaps that diverted their +attention. However, after they had all been helped, it was +suddenly observed that one of them would not begin to eat. +He sat with his head bent over his plate, and his cheeks growing +redder and redder, till at last some one asked what was amiss, +and why he would not go on with his dinner, on which he sobbed +out that he had ‘much rather it was taken to little Tommy +Brown!’”</p> +<p>“That was a very <i>good</i> little Victim, wasn’t +he?” asked No. 8.</p> +<p>“But what did the keepers say?” inquired No. 5, +rather anxiously.</p> +<p>“Oh,” replied Aunt Judy, “it was soon +settled that Tommy Brown was to have the dinner, which made the +little Victim so happy, he actually jumped for joy. On +which the stranger lady told them she hoped they would henceforth +always ask themselves her curious question whenever they sat down +to a good meal again. ‘For,’ said she, +‘my dears, it will teach you to be thankful; and you may +take my word for it, it is always the ungrateful people who are +the most miserable ones.’”</p> +<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy!” here interposed No. 6, somewhat +vehemently, “you need not tell any more! I know you +mean <i>us</i> by the little Victims! But you don’t +think we really <i>mean</i> to be ungrateful about the beds, or +the dinners, or anything, do you?”</p> +<p>There was a melancholy earnestness in the tone of the inquiry, +which rather grieved Aunt Judy, for she knew it was not well to +magnify childish faults into too great importance: so she took +No. 6 on her knee, and assured her she never imagined such a +thing as their being really ungrateful, for a moment. If +she had, she added, she should not have turned their little ways +into fun, as she had done in the story.</p> +<p>No. 6 was comforted somewhat on hearing this, but still leant +her head on Aunt Judy’s shoulder in a rather pensive +state.</p> +<p>“I wonder what makes one so tiresome,” mused the +meditative No. 5, trying to view the matter quite abstractedly, +as if he himself was in no way concerned in it.</p> +<p>“Thoughtlessness only,” replied Aunt Judy, +smiling. “I have often heard mamma say it is not +ingratitude in <i>children</i> when they don’t think about +the comforts they enjoy every day; because the comforts seem to +them to come, like air and sunshine, as a mere matter of +course.”</p> +<p>“Really?” exclaimed No. 6, in a quite hopeful +tone. “Does mamma really say that?”</p> +<p>“Yes; but then you know,” continued Aunt Judy, +“everybody has to be taught to think by degrees, and then +they get to know that no comforts ever do really come to anybody +as a matter of course. No, not even air and sunshine; but +every one of them as blessings permitted by God, and which, +therefore, we have to be thankful for. So you see we have +to <i>learn</i> to be thankful as we have to learn everything +else, and mamma says it is a lesson that never ends, even for +grown-up people.</p> +<p>“And now you understand, No. 6, that you—oh! +I beg pardon, I mean <i>the little Victims</i>—were not +really ungrateful, but only thoughtless; and the wonderful +stranger lady did something to cure them of that, and, in fact, +proved a sort of Aunt Judy to them; for she explained things in +such a very entertaining manner, that they actually began to +think the matter over; and then they left off being stupid and +unthankful.</p> +<p>“But this reminds me,” added Aunt Judy, +“that you—tiresome No. 6—have spoilt my story +after all! I had not half got to the end of the +miseries. For instance, there was the <i>taking-care</i> +misery, in consequence of which the little Victims were sent out +to play on a fine day, and kept in when it was stormy and wet, +all because those stupid keepers were more anxious to keep them +well in health than to please them at the moment.</p> +<p>“And then there was—above all—” here +Aunt Judy became very impressive, “the <i>washing</i> +misery, which consisted in their being obliged to make themselves +clean and comfortable with soap and water whenever they happened +to be dirty, whether with playing at knuckle-bones on the floor, +or anything else, and which was considered <i>so hard</i> +that—”</p> +<p>But here a small hand was laid on Aunt Judy’s mouth, and +a gentle voice said, “Stop, Aunt Judy, now!” on which +the rest shouted, “Stop! stop! we won’t hear any +more,” in chorus, until all at once, in the midst of the +din, there sounded outside the door the ominous knocking, which +announced the hour of repose to the juvenile branches of the +family.</p> +<p>It was a well-known summons, but on this occasion produced +rather an unusual effect. First, there was a sudden +profound silence, and pause of several seconds; then an +interchange of glances among the little ones; then a breaking out +of involuntary smiles upon several young faces; and at last a +universal “Good-night, Aunt Judy!” very quietly and +demurely spoken.</p> +<p>“If the little Victims were only here to see how +<i>you</i> behave over the <i>going-to-bed</i> misery, what a +lesson it would be!” suggested Aunt Judy, with a +mischievous smile.</p> +<p>“Ah, yes, yes, we know, we know!” was the only +reply, and it came from No. 8, who took advantage of being the +youngest to be more saucy than the rest.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy now led the little party into the drawing-room to +bid their father and mother good-night too. And certainly +when the door was opened, and they saw how bright and cosy +everything looked, in the light of the fire and the lamps, with +mamma at the table, wide awake and smiling, they underwent a +fearful twinge of the <i>going-to-bed</i> misery. But they +checked all expression of their feelings. Of course, mamma +asked what Aunt Judy’s story had been about, and heard; and +heard, too, No. 6’s little trouble lest she should have +been guilty of the sin of real ingratitude; and, of course, mamma +applauded Aunt Judy’s explanation about the want of +thought, very much indeed.</p> +<p>“But, mamma,” said No. 6 to her mother, +“Aunt Judy said something about grown-up people having to +learn to be thankful. Surely you and papa never cry for +nonsense, and things you can’t have?”</p> +<p>“Ah, my darling No. 6,” cried mamma earnestly, +“grown-up people may not <i>cry</i> for what they want +exactly, but they are just as apt to wish for what they cannot +have, as you little ones are. For instance, grown-up people +would constantly like to have life made easier and more agreeable +to them, than God chooses it to be. They would like to have +a little more wealth, perhaps, or a little more health, or a +little more rest, or that their children should always be good +and clever, and well and happy. And while they are thinking +and fretting about the things they want, they forget to be +thankful for those they have. I am often tempted in this +way myself, dear No. 6; so you see Aunt Judy is right, and the +lesson of learning to be thankful never ends, even for grown-up +people.</p> +<p>“One other word before you go. I dare say you +little ones think we grown-up people are quite independent, and +can do just as we like. But it is not so. We have to +learn to submit to the will of the great Keeper of Heaven and +earth, without understanding it, just as Aunt Judy’s little +Victims had to submit to their keepers without knowing why. +So thank Aunt Judy for her story, and let us all do our best to +be obedient and contented.”</p> +<p>“When I am old enough, mother,” remarked No. 7, in +his peculiarly mild and deliberate way of speaking, and smiling +all the time, “I think I shall put Aunt Judy into a +story. Don’t you think she would make a capital +Ogre’s wife, like the one in ‘Jack and the +Bean-Stalk,’ who told Jack how to behave, and gave him good +advice?”</p> +<p>It was a difficult question to say “No” to, so +mamma kissed No. 7, instead of answering him, and No. 7 smiled +himself away, with his head full of the bright idea.</p> +<h2><a name="page26"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +26</span>VEGETABLES OUT OF PLACE.</h2> +<blockquote><p>“But any man that walks the mead,<br /> + In bud or blade, or bloom, may find,<br /> +According as his humours lead,<br /> + A meaning suited to his mind.”</p> +<p style="text-align: right"><span +class="smcap">Tennyson</span>.</p> +</blockquote> +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> was a fine May morning. +Not one of those with an east wind and a bright sun, which keep +people in a puzzle all as day to whether it is hot or cold, and +cause endless nursery disputes about the keeping on of comforters +and warm coats, whenever a hoop-race, or some such active +exertion, has brought a universal puggyness over the juvenile +frame—but it was a really mild, sweet-scented day, when it +is quite a treat to be out of doors, whether in the gardens, the +lanes, or the fields, and when nothing but a holland jacket is +thought necessary by even the most tiresomely careful of +mammas.</p> +<p>It was not a day which anybody would have chosen to be poorly +upon; but people have no choice in such matters, and poor little +No. 7, of our old friends “the little ones,” was in +bed ill of the measles.</p> +<p>The wise old Bishop, Jeremy Taylor, told us long ago, how well +children generally bear sickness. “They bear +it,” he says, “by a direct sufferance;” that is +to say, they submit to just what discomfort exists at the moment, +without fidgetting about either “a cause or a +consequence,” and decidedly without fretting about what is +to come.</p> +<p>For a grown-up person to attain to the same state of unanxious +resignation, is one of the high triumphs of Christian +faith. It is that “delivering one’s self +up,” of which the poor speak so forcibly on their +sick-beds.</p> +<p>No. 7 proved a charming instance of the truth of Jeremy +Taylor’s remark. He behaved in the most composed +manner over his feelings, and even over his physic.</p> +<p>During the first day or two, when he sat shivering by the +fire, reading “Neill D’Arcy’s Life at +Sea,” and was asked how he felt, he answered with his usual +smile; “Oh, all right; only a little cold now and +then.” And afterwards, when he was in bed in a +darkened room, and the same question was put, he replied almost +as quietly, (though without the smile,) “Oh—only a +little too hot.”</p> +<p>Then over the medicine, he contested nothing. He made, +indeed, one or two by no means injudicious suggestions, as to the +best method of having the disagreeable material, whether powdery +or oleaginous, (I will not particularize further!) conveyed down +his throat: commonly said, “Thank you,” even before +he had swallowed it; and then shut his eyes, and kept himself +quiet.</p> +<p>Fortunately No. 1, and Schoolboy No. 3, had had the complaint +as well as papa and mamma, so there were plenty to share in the +nursing and house matters. The only question was, what was +to be done with the little ones while Nurse was so busy; and Aunt +Judy volunteered her services in their behalf.</p> +<p>Now it will easily be supposed, after what I have said, that +the nursing was not at all a difficult undertaking; but I am +grieved to say that Aunt Judy’s task was by no means so +easy a one.</p> +<p>The little ones were very sorry, it is true, that No. 7 was +poorly; but, unluckily, they forgot it every time they went +either up-stairs or down. They could not bear in their +minds the fact, that when they encouraged the poodle to bark +after an India-rubber ball, he was pretty sure to wake No. 7 out +of a nap; and, in short, the day being so fine, and the little +ones so noisy, Aunt Judy packed them all off into their gardens +to tidy them up, she herself taking her station in a small study, +the window of which looked out upon the family play-ground.</p> +<p>Her idea, perhaps, was, that she could in this way combine the +prosecution of her own studies, with enacting policeman over the +young gardeners, and “keeping the peace,” as she +called it. But if so, she was doomed to disappointment.</p> +<p>The operation of “tidying up gardens,” as +performed by a set of “little ones,” scarcely needs +description.</p> +<p>It consists of a number of alterations being thought of, and +set about, not one of which is ever known to be finished by those +who begin them. It consists of everybody wanting the rake +at the same moment, and of nobody being willing to use the other +tools, which they call stupid and useless things. It +consists of a great many plants being moved from one place to +another, when they are in full flower, and dying in +consequence. (But how, except when they are in flower, can +anyone judge where they will look best?) It consists of a +great many seeds being prevented from coming up at all, by an +“alteration” cutting into the heart of the patch just +as they were bursting their shells for a sprout. It +consists of an unlimited and fatal application of the cold-water +cure.</p> +<p>And, finally, it results in such a confusion between +foot-walks and beds—such a mixture of earth and gravel, and +thrown-down tools—that anyone unused to the symptoms of the +case, might imagine that the door of the pigsty in the yard had +been left open, and that its inhabitant had been performing +sundry uncouth gambols with his nose in the little ones’ +gardens.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy was quite aware of these facts, and she had +accordingly laid down several rules, and given several +instructions to prevent the usual catastrophe; and all went very +smoothly at first in consequence. The little ones went out +all hilarity and delight, and divided the tools with considerable +show of justice, while Aunt Judy nodded to them approvingly out +of her window, and then settled down to an interesting sum in +that most peculiar of all arithmetical rules, “<i>The Rule +of False</i>,” the principle of which is, that out of two +errors, made by yourself from two wrong guesses, you arrive at a +discovery of the truth!</p> +<p style="text-align: center"> +<a href="images/p26b.jpg"> +<img alt= +"The rule of false" +title= +"The rule of false" + src="images/p26s.jpg" /> +</a></p> +<p>When Aunt Judy first caught sight of this rule, a few days +before, at the end of an old summing-book, it struck her fancy at +once. The principle of it was capable of a much more +general application than to the “Rule of False,” and +she amused herself by studying it up.</p> +<p>It is, no doubt, a clumsy substitute for algebra; but young +folks who have not learnt algebra, will find it a very +entertaining method of making out all such sums as the following +old puzzler, over which Aunt Judy was now poring:</p> +<p>“There is a certain fish, whose head is 9 inches in +length, his tail as long as his head and half of his back, and +his back as long as both head and tail together. Query, the +length of the fish?”</p> +<p>But Aunt Judy was not left long in peace with her fish. +While she was in the thick of “suppositions” and +“errors,” a tap came at the window.</p> +<p>“Aunt Judy!”</p> +<p>“Stop!” was the answer; and the hand of the +speaker went up, with the slate-pencil in it, enforcing silence +while she pursued her calculations.</p> +<p>“Say, back 42 inches; then tail (half back) 21, and head +given, 9, that’s 30, and 30 and 9, 39 +back.—Won’t do! Second error: three +inches—What’s the matter, No. 6? You surely +have not begun to quarrel already?”</p> +<p>“Oh, no,” answered No. 6, with her nose flattened +against the window-pane. “But please, Aunt Judy, No. +8 won’t have the oyster-shell trimming round his garden any +longer, he says; he says it looks so rubbishy. But as my +garden joins his down the middle, if he takes away the +oyster-shells all round his, then one of <i>my</i> +sides—the one in the middle, I mean—will be left +bare, don’t you see? and I want to keep the oyster-shells +all round may garden, because mamma says there are still some +zoophytes upon them. So how is it to be?”</p> +<p>What a perplexity! The fish with his nine-inch head, and +his tail as long as his head and half of his back, was a mere +nothing to it.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy threw open the window.</p> +<p>“My dear No. 6,” answered she, “yours is the +great boundary-line question about which nations never do agree, +but go squabbling on till some one has to give way first. +There is but one plan for settling it, and that is, for each of +you to give up a piece of your gardens to make a road to run +between. Now if you’ll both give way at once, and +consent to this, I will come out to you myself, and leave my fish +till the evening. It’s much too fine to stay in +doors, I feel; and I can give you all something real to +do.”</p> +<p>“<i>I’ll</i> give way, I’m sure, Aunt +Judy,” cried No. 6, quite glad to be rid of the dispute; +“and so will you, won’t you, No. 8?” she added, +appealing to that young gentleman, who stood with his pinafore +full of dirty oyster-shells, not quite understanding the meaning +of what was said.</p> +<p>“I’ll <i>what</i>?” inquired he.</p> +<p>“Oh, never mind! Only throw the oyster-shells +down, and come with Aunt Judy. It will be much better fun +than staying here.”</p> +<p>No. 8 lowered his pinafore at the word of command, and dropped +the discarded oyster-shells, one by one—where do you +think?—why—right into the middle of his little +garden! an operation which seemed to be particularly agreeable to +him, if one might judge by his face. He was not sorry +either to be relieved from the weight.</p> +<p>“You see, Aunt Judy,” continued No. 6 to her +sister, who had now joined them, “it doesn’t so much +matter about the oyster-shell trimming; but No. 8’s garden +is always in such a mess, that I must have a wall or something +between us!”</p> +<p>“You shall have a wall or a path decidedly,” +replied Aunt Judy: “a road is the next best thing to a +river for a boundary-line. But now, all of you, pick up the +tools and come with me, and you shall do some regular work, and +be paid for it at the rate of half-a-farthing for every half +hour. Think what a magnificent offer!”</p> +<p>The little ones thought so in reality, and welcomed the +arrangement with delight, and trudged off behind Aunt Judy, +calculating so hard among themselves what their conjoint +half-farthings would come to, for the half-hours they all +intended to work, and furthermore, what amount or variety of +“goodies” they would purchase, that Aunt Judy half +fancied herself back in the depths of the “Rule of +False” again!</p> +<p>She led them at last to a pretty shrubbery-walk, of which they +were all very fond. On one side of it was a quick-set +hedge, in which the honeysuckle was mixed so profusely with the +thorn, that they grew and were clipped together.</p> +<p>It was the choicest spot for a quiet evening stroll in summer +that could possibly be imagined. The sweet scent from the +honeysuckle flowers stole around you with a welcome as you moved +along, and set you a dreaming of some far-off region where the +delicious sensations produced by the odour of flowers may not be +as transient as they are here.</p> +<p>There was an alcove in the middle of the walk—not one of +the modern mockeries of rusticity—but a real old-fashioned +lath-and-plaster concern, such as used to be erected in front of +a bowling-green. It was roofed in, was open only on the +sunny side, and was supported by a couple of little Ionic +pillars, up which clematis and passion-flower were studiously +trained.</p> +<p>There was a table as well as seats within; and the alcove was +a very nice place for either reading or drawing in, as it +commanded a pretty view of the distant country. It was +also, and perhaps especially, suited to the young people in their +more poetical and fanciful moods.</p> +<p>The little ones had no sooner reached the entrance of the +favourite walk, than they scampered past Aunt Judy to run a race; +but No. 6 stopped suddenly short.</p> +<p>“Aunt Judy, look at these horrible weeds! Ah! I do +believe this is what you have brought us here for!”</p> +<p>It was indeed; for some showers the evening before, had caused +them to flourish in a painfully prominent manner, and the +favourite walk presented a somewhat neglected appearance.</p> +<p>So Aunt Judy marked it off for the little ones to weed, +repeated the exhilarating promise of the half-farthings, and +seated herself in the alcove to puzzle out the length of the +fish.</p> +<p>At first it was rather amusing to hear, how even in the midst +of their weeding, the little ones pursued their calculations of +the anticipated half-farthings, and discussed the niceness and +prices of the various descriptions of “goodies.”</p> +<p>But by degrees, less and less was said; and at last, the +half-farthings and “goodies” seemed altogether +forgotten, and a new idea to arise in their place.</p> +<p>The new idea was, that this weeding-task was uncommonly +troublesome!</p> +<p>“I’m sure there are many more weeds in my piece +than in anybody else’s!” remarked the tallest of the +children, standing up to rest his rather tired back, and +contemplate the walk. “I don’t think Aunt Judy +measured it out fair!”</p> +<p>“Well, but you’re the biggest, and ought to do the +most,” responded No. 6.</p> +<p>“A <i>little</i> the most is all very well,” +persisted No. 5; “but I’ve got <i>too much</i> the +most rather—and it’s very tiresome work.”</p> +<p>“What nonsense!” rejoined No. 6. “I +don’t believe the weeds are any thicker in your piece than +in mine. Look at my big heap. And I’m sure +I’m quite as tired as you are.”</p> +<p>No. 6 got up as she spoke, to see how matters were going on; +not at all sorry either, to change her position.</p> +<p>“<i>I’ve</i> got the most,” muttered No. 8 +to himself, still kneeling over his work.</p> +<p>But this was, it is to be feared, a very unjustifiable bit of +brag.</p> +<p>“If you go on talking so much, you will not get any +half-farthings at all!” shouted No. 4, from the +distance.</p> +<p>A pause followed this warning, and the small party ducked down +again to their work.</p> +<p>They no longer liked it, however; and very soon afterwards the +jocose No. 5 observed, in subdued tones to the others:—</p> +<p>“I wonder what <i>the little victims</i> would have said +to this kind of thing?”</p> +<p>“They’d have hated it,” answered No. 6, very +decidedly.</p> +<p>The fact was, the little ones were getting really tired, for +the fine May morning had turned into a hot day; and in a few +minutes more, a still further aggravation of feeling took +place.</p> +<p>No. 6 got up again, shook the gravel from her frock, blew it +off her hands, pushed back a heap of heavy curls from her face, +set her hat as far back on her head as she could, and +exclaimed:—</p> +<p>“I wish there were no such things as weeds in the +world!”</p> +<p>Everybody seemed struck with this impressive sentiment, for +they all left off weeding at once, and Aunt Judy came forward to +the front of the alcove.</p> +<p>“Don’t you, Aunt Judy?” added No. 6, feeling +sure her sister had heard.</p> +<p>“Not I, indeed,” answered Aunt Judy, with a +comical smile: “I’m too fond of cream to my +tea.”</p> +<p>“Cream to your tea, Aunt Judy? What can that have +to do with it?”</p> +<p>The little ones were amazed.</p> +<p>“Something,” at any rate, responded Aunt Judy; +“and if you like to come in here, and sit down, I will tell +you how.”</p> +<p>Away went hoes and weeding-knives at once, and into the alcove +they rushed; and never had garden-seats felt so thoroughly +comfortable before.</p> +<p>“If one begins to wish,” suggested No. 5, +stretching his legs out to their full extent, “one may as +well wish oneself a grand person with a lot of gardeners to clear +away the weeds as fast as they come up, and save one the +trouble.”</p> +<p>“Much better wish them away, and save everybody the +trouble,” persisted No. 6.</p> +<p>“No: one wants them sometimes.”</p> +<p>“What an idea! Who ever wants weeds?”</p> +<p>“You yourself.”</p> +<p>“I? What nonsense!”</p> +<p>But the persevering No. 5 proceeded to explain. No. 6 +had asked him a few days before to bring her some groundsel for +her canary, and he had been quite disappointed at finding none in +the garden. He had actually to “trail” into the +lanes to fetch a bit.</p> +<p>This was a puzzling statement; so No. 6 contented herself with +grumbling out:—</p> +<p>“Weeds are welcome to grow in the lanes.”</p> +<p>“Weeds are not always weeds in the lanes,” +persisted No. 5, with a grin: “they’re sometimes +wild-flowers.”</p> +<p>“I don’t care what they are,” pouted No. +6. “I wish I lived in a place where there were +none.”</p> +<p>“And I wish I was a great man, with lots of gardeners to +take them up, instead of me,” maintained No. 5, who was in +a mood of lazy tiresomeness, and kept rocking to and fro on the +garden-chair, with his hands tucked under his thighs. +“A weed—a weed,” continued he; “what is a +weed, I wonder? Aunt Judy, what is a weed?”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy had surely been either dreaming or cogitating during +the last few minutes, for she had taken no notice of what was +said, but she roused up now, and answered:—</p> +<p>“A vegetable out of its place.”</p> +<p>“A <i>vegetable</i>,” repeated No. 5, “why +we don’t eat them, Aunt Judy.”</p> +<p>“You kitchen-garden interpreter, who said we did?” +replied she. “All green herbs are <i>vegetables</i>, +let me tell you, whether we eat them or not.”</p> +<p>“Oh, I see,” mused No. 5, quietly enough, but in +another instant he broke out again.</p> +<p>“I’ll tell you what though, some of them are real +vegetables, I mean kitchen-garden vegetables, to other creatures, +and that’s why they’re wanted. +Groundsel’s a vegetable, it’s the canary’s +vegetable. I mean his kitchen-garden vegetable, and if he +had a kitchen-garden of his own, he would grow it as we do +peas. So I was right after all, No. 6!”</p> +<p>That <i>twit</i> at the end spoilt everything, otherwise this +was really a bright idea of No. 5’s.</p> +<p>“Aunt Judy, do begin to talk yourself,” entreated +No. 6. “I wish No. 5 would be quiet, and not +teaze.”</p> +<p>“And he wishes the same of you,” replied Aunt +Judy, “and I wish the same of you all. What is to be +done? Come, I will tell you a story, on one positive +understanding, namely, that whoever teazes, or even <i>twits</i>, +shall be turned out of the company.”</p> +<p>No. 5 sat up in his chair like a dart in an instant, and vowed +that he would be the best of the good, till Aunt Judy had +finished her story.</p> +<p>“After which—” concluded he, with a wink and +another grin.</p> +<p>“After which, I shall expect you to be better +still,” was Aunt Judy’s emphatic rejoinder. And +peace being now completely established, she commenced: +“There was once upon a time—what do you +think?”—here she paused and looked round in the +children’s faces.</p> +<p>“A giant!” exclaimed No. 8.</p> +<p>“A beautiful princess!” suggested No. 6.</p> +<p>“<i>Something</i>,” said Aunt Judy, “but I +am not going to tell you what at present. You must find out +for yourselves. Meantime I shall call it <i>something</i>, +or merely make a grunting—hm—when I allude to it, as +people do to express a blank.”</p> +<p>The little ones shuffled about in delighted impatience at the +notion of the mysterious “something” which they were +to find out, and Aunt Judy proceeded:—</p> +<p>“This—hm—then, lived in a large meadow +field, where it was the delight of all beholders. The owner +of the property was constantly boasting about it to his friends, +for he maintained that it was the richest, and most beautiful, +and most valuable—hm—in all the country round. +Surely no other thing in this world ever found itself more +admired or prized than this <i>something</i> did. The +commonest passer-by would notice it, and say all manner of fine +things in its praise, whether in the early spring, the full +summer, or the autumn, for at each of these seasons it put on a +fresh charm, and formed a subject of conversation. +‘Only look at that lovely—hm—’ was quite +a common exclamation at the sight of it. ‘What a +colour it has! How fresh and healthy it looks! How +invaluable it must be! Why, it must be worth at +least—’ and then the speaker would go calculating +away at the number of pounds, shillings, and pence, +the—hm—would fetch, if put into the money-market, +which is, I am sorry to say, a very usual, although very +degrading way of estimating worth.</p> +<p>“To conclude, the mild-eyed Alderney cow, who pastured +in the field during the autumn months, would chew the cud of +approbation over the—hm—for hours together, and +people said it was no wonder at all that she gave such delicious +milk and cream.”</p> +<p>Here a shout of supposed discovery broke from No. 5. +“I’ve guessed, I know it!”</p> +<p>But a “hush” from Aunt Judy stopped him short.</p> +<p>“No. 5, nobody asked your opinion, keep it to yourself, +if you please.”</p> +<p>No. 5 was silenced, but rubbed his hands nevertheless.</p> +<p>“Well,” continued Aunt Judy, “that +‘<i>something</i>’ ought surely to have been the most +contented thing in the world. Its merits were acknowledged; +its usefulness was undoubted; its beauty was the theme of +constant admiration; what had it left to wish for? Really +nothing; but by an unlucky accident it became dissatisfied with +its situation in a meadow field, and wished to get into a higher +position in life, which, it took for granted, would be more +suited to its many exalted qualities. The +‘<i>something</i>’ of the field wanted to inhabit a +garden. The unlucky accident that gave rise to this foolish +idea, was as follows:—</p> +<p>“A little boy was running across the beautiful meadow +one morning, with a tin-pot full of fishing bait in his hand, +when suddenly he stumbled and fell down.</p> +<p>“The bait in the tin-pot was some lob-worms, which the +little boy had collected out of the garden adjoining the field, +and they were spilt and scattered about by his fall.</p> +<p>“He picked up as many as he could find, however, and ran +off again; but one escaped his notice and was left behind.</p> +<p>“This gentleman was insensible for a few seconds; but as +soon as he came to himself, and discovered that he was in a +strange place, he began to grumble and find fault.</p> +<p>“‘What an uncouth neighbourhood!’ Such +were his exclamations. ‘What rough impracticable +roads! Was ever lob-worm so unlucky before!’ It +was impossible to move an inch without bumping his sides against +some piece of uncultivated ground.</p> +<p>“Judge for yourselves, my dears,” continued Aunt +Judy, pathetically, “what must have been the feelings of +the ‘<i>something</i>’ which had lived proudly and +happily in the meadow field for so long, on hearing such +offensive remarks.</p> +<p>“Its spirit was up in a minute, just as yours would have +been, and it did not hesitate to inform the intruder that +travellers who find fault with a country before they have taken +the trouble to inquire into its merits, are very ignorant and +impertinent people.</p> +<p>“This was blow for blow, as you perceive; and the +<i>teaze-and-twit</i> system was now continued with great +animation on both sides.</p> +<p>“The lob-worm inquired, with a conceited wriggle, what +could be the merits of a country, where gentlemanly, gliding, +thin-skinned creatures like himself were unable to move about +without personal annoyance? Whereupon the amiable +‘<i>something</i>’ made no scruple of telling the +lob-worm that his <i>betters</i> found no fault with the place, +and instanced its friend and admirer the Alderney cow.</p> +<p>“On which the lob-worm affected forgetfulness, and +exclaimed, ‘Cow? cow? do I know the creature? +Ah! Yes, I recollect now; clumsy legs, horny feet, and that +sort of thing,’ proceeding to hint that what was good +enough for a cow, might yet not be refined enough for his own +more delicate habits.</p> +<p>“‘It is my misfortune, perhaps,’ concluded +he, with mock humility, ‘to have been accustomed to higher +associations; but really, situated as I am here, I could almost +feel disposed to—why, positively, to wish myself a cow, +with clumsy legs and horny feet. What one may live to come +to, to be sure!’</p> +<p>“Well,” Aunt Judy proceeded, “will you +believe it, the lob-worm went on boasting till the poor deluded +‘<i>something</i>’ believed every word he said, and +at last ventured to ask in what favoured spot he had acquired his +superior tastes and knowledge.</p> +<p>“And then, of course, the lob-worm had the opportunity +of opening out in a very magnificent bit of brag, and did not +fail to do so.</p> +<p>“Travellers can always boast with impunity to stationary +folk, and the lob-worm had no conscience about speaking the +truth.</p> +<p>“So on he chattered, giving the most splendid account of +the garden in which he lived. Gorgeous flowers, velvet +lawns, polished gravel-walks, along which he was wont to take his +early morning stroll, before the ruder creatures of the +neighbourhood, such as dogs, cats, &c. were up and about, +were all his discourse; and he spoke of them as if they were his +own, and told of the nursing and tending of every plant in the +lovely spot, as if the gardeners did it all for his convenience +and pleasure.</p> +<p>“Of the little accidents to which he and his race have +from time immemorial been liable from awkward spades, or those +very early birds, by whom he ran a risk of being snapped up every +time he emerged out of the velvet lawns for the morning strolls, +he said just nothing at all.</p> +<p>“All was unmixed delight (according to his account) in +the garden, and having actually boasted himself into good humour +with himself, and therefore with everybody else, he concluded by +expressing the condescending wish, that the +‘<i>something</i>’ in the field should get itself +removed to the garden, to enjoy the life of which he spoke.</p> +<p>“‘Undeniably beautiful as you are here,’ +cried he, ‘your beauty will increase a thousand fold, under +the gardener’s fostering care. Appreciated as you are +now in your rustic life, the most prominent place will be +assigned to you when you get into more distinguished society; so +that everybody who passes by and sees you, will exclaim in +delight, ‘Behold this +exquisite—hm—!’”</p> +<p>“Oh dear, Aunt Judy,” cried No. 6, “was the +‘hum,’ as you will call it, so silly as to believe +what he said?”</p> +<p>“How could the poor simple-minded thing be expected to +resist such elegant compliments, my dear No. 6?” answered +Aunt Judy. “But then came the difficulty. The +‘<i>something</i>’ which lived in the field had no +more legs than the lob-worm himself, and, in fact, was incapable +of locomotion.”</p> +<p>“Of course it was!” ejaculated No. 5.</p> +<p>“Order!” cried Aunt Judy, and +proceeded:—</p> +<p>“So the—hm—hung down its graceful head in +despair, but suddenly a bright and loving thought struck +it. It could not change its place and rise in life itself, +but its children might, and that would be some consolation. +It opened its heart on this point to the lob-worm, and although +the lob-worm had no heart to be touched, he had still a tongue to +talk.</p> +<p>“If the—hm—would send its children to the +garden at the first opportunity, he would be delighted, +absolutely charmed, to introduce them in the world. He +would put them in the way of everything, and see that they were +properly attended to. There was nothing he couldn’t +or wouldn’t do.</p> +<p>“This last pretentious brag seemed to have exhausted +even the lob-worm’s ingenuity, for, soon after he had +uttered it, he shuffled away out of the meadow in the best +fashion that he could, leaving the ‘<i>something</i>’ +in the field in a state of wondering regret. But it +recovered its spirits again when the time came for sending its +children to the favoured garden abode.</p> +<p>“‘My dears,’ it said, ‘you will soon +have to begin life for yourselves, and I hope you will do so with +credit to your bringing up. I hope you are now ambitious +enough to despise the dull old plan of dropping contentedly down, +just where you happen to be, or waiting for some chance traveller +(who may never come) to give you a lift elsewhere. That +paradise of happiness, of which the lob-worm told us, is close at +hand. Come! it only wants a little extra exertion on your +part, and you will be carried thither by the wind, as easily as +the wandering Dandelion himself. Courage, my dears! nothing +out of the common is ever gained without an effort. See +now! as soon as ever a strong breeze blows the proper way, I +shall shake my heads as hard as ever I can, that you may be +off. All the doors and windows are open now, you know, and +you must throw yourselves out upon the wind. Only remember +one thing, when you are settled down in the beautiful garden, +mind you hold up your heads, and do yourselves justice, my +dears.’</p> +<p>“The children gave a ready assent, of course, as proud +as possible at the notion; and when the favourable breeze came, +and the maternal heads were shaken, out they all flew, and +trusted themselves to its guidance, and in a few minutes settled +down all over the beautiful garden, some on the beds, some on the +lawn, some on the polished gravel-walks. And all I can say +is, happiest those who were least seen!”</p> +<p>“Grass weeds! grass weeds!” shouted the +incorrigible No. 5, jumping up from his seat and performing two +or three Dervish-like turns.</p> +<p>“Oh, it’s too bad, isn’t it, Aunt +Judy,” cried No. 6, “to stop your story in the +middle?”</p> +<p>Whereupon Aunt Judy answered that he had not stopped the story +in the middle, but at the end, and she was glad he had found out +the meaning of her—<i>hm</i>—!</p> +<p>But No. 6 would not be satisfied, she liked to hear the +complete finish up of everything. “Did the +‘<i>hum’s</i>’ children ever grow up in the +garden, and did they ever see the lob-worm again?”</p> +<p>“The—hm’s—children did <i>spring</i> +up in the garden,” answered Aunt Judy, “and did their +best to exhibit their beauty on the polished gravel-walks, where +they were particularly delighted with their own appearance one +May morning after a shower of rain, which had made them more +prominent than usual. ‘Remember our mother’s +advice,’ cried they to each other. ‘This is the +happy moment! Let us hold up our heads, and do ourselves +justice, my dears.’</p> +<p>“Scarcely were the words spoken, when a troop of rude +creatures came scampering into the walk, and a particularly +unfeeling monster in curls, pointed to the beautiful up-standing +little—hms—and shouted, ‘Aunt Judy, look at +these <i>horrible weeds</i>!’</p> +<p>“I needn’t say any more,” concluded Aunt +Judy. “You know how you’ve used them; you know +what you’ve done to them; you know how you’ve even +wished there were <i>no such things in the world</i>!”</p> +<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy, how capital!” ejaculated No. 6, +with a sigh, the sigh of exhausted amusement.</p> +<p>“‘The <i>hum</i> was a weed too, then, was +it?” said No. 8. He did not quite see his way through +the tale.</p> +<p>“It was not a weed in the meadow,” answered Aunt +Judy, “where it was useful, and fed the Alderney cow. +It was beautiful Grass there, and was counted as such, because +that was its proper place. But when it put its nose into +garden-walks, where it was not wanted, and had no business, then +everybody called the beautiful Grass a weed.”</p> +<p>“So a weed is a vegetable out of its place, you +see,” subjoined No. 5, who felt the idea to be half his +own, “and it won’t do to wish there were none in the +world.”</p> +<p>“And a vegetable out of its place being nothing better +than a weed, Mr. No. 5,” added Aunt Judy, “it +won’t do to be too anxious about what is so often falsely +called, bettering your condition in life. Come, the story +is done, and now we’ll go home, and all the patient +listeners and weeders may reckon upon getting one or more +farthings apiece from mamma. And as No. 6’s wish is +not realized, and there are still weeds <a +name="citation47"></a><a href="#footnote47" +class="citation">[47]</a> in the world, and among them Grass +weeds, <i>I</i> shall hope to have some cream to my +tea.”</p> +<h2><a name="page48"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 48</span>COOK +STORIES.</h2> +<blockquote><p>“Down too, down at your own fireside,<br /> +With the evil tongue and the evil ear,<br /> +For each is at war with mankind.”</p> +<p style="text-align: right"><span +class="smcap">Tennyson’s</span> <i>Maud</i>.</p> +</blockquote> +<p><span class="smcap">Aunt Judy</span> had gone to the nursery +wardrobe to look over some clothes, and the little ones were +having a play to themselves. As she opened the door, they +were just coming to the end of an explosive burst of laughter, in +which all the five appeared to have joined, and which they had +some difficulty in stopping. No. 4, who was a biggish girl, +had giggled till the tears were running over her cheeks; and No. +8, in sympathy, was leaning back in his tiny chair in a sort of +ecstasy of amusement.</p> +<p>The five little ones had certainly hit upon some very +entertaining game.</p> +<p>They were all (boys and girls alike) dressed up as elderly +ladies, with bits of rubbishy finery on their heads and round +their shoulders, to imitate caps and scarfs; the boys’ hair +being neatly parted and brushed down the middle; and they were +seated in form round what was called “the Doll’s +Table,” a concern just large enough to allow of a small +crockery tea-service, with cups and saucers and little plates, +being set out upon it.</p> +<p>“What have you got there?” was all Aunt Judy +asked, as she went up to the table to look at them.</p> +<p>“Cowslip-tea,” was No. 4’s answer, laying +her hand on the fat pink tea-pot; and thereupon the laughing +explosion went off nearly as loudly as before, though for no +accountable reason that Aunt Judy could divine.</p> +<p>“It’s <i>so</i> good, Aunt Judy, do taste +it!” exclaimed No. 8, jumping up in a great fuss, and +holding up his little cup, full of a pale-buff fluid, to Aunt +Judy.</p> +<p>“You’ll have everything over,” cried No. 4, +calling him to order; and in truth the table was not the +steadiest in the world.</p> +<p>So No. 8 sat down again, calling out, in an almost stuttering +hurry, “You may keep it all, Aunt Judy, I don’t want +any more.”</p> +<p>But neither did Aunt Judy, after she had given it one taste; +so she put the cup down, thanking No. 8 very much, but pulling +such a funny face, that it set the laugh going once more; in the +middle of which No. 4 dropped an additional lump of sugar into +the rejected buff-coloured mixture, a proceeding which evidently +gave No. 8 a new relish for the beverage.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy had got beyond the age when cowslip-tea was looked +upon as one of the treats of life; and she had not, on the other +hand, lived long enough to love the taste of it for the +memory’s sake of the enjoyment it once afforded.</p> +<p>Not but what we are obliged to admit that cowslip-tea is one +of those things which, even in the most enthusiastic days of +youth, just falls short of the absolute perfection one expects +from it.</p> +<p>Even under those most favourable circumstances of having had +the delightful gathering of the flowers in the sweet sunny +fields—the picking of them in the happy holiday +afternoon—the permission to use the best doll’s +tea-service for the feast—the loan of a nice white +table-cloth—and the present of half-a-dozen pewter knives +and forks to fancy-cut the biscuits with—nay, even in spite +of the addition of well-filled doll’s sugar-pots and +cream-jugs—cowslip-tea always seems to want either a leetle +more or a leetle less sugar—or a leetle more or a leetle +less cream—or to be a leetle more or a leetle less +strong—to turn it into that complete nectar which, of +course, it really <i>is</i>.</p> +<p>On the present occasion, however, the children had clearly got +hold of some other source of enjoyment over the annual +cowslip-tea feast, besides the beverage itself; and Aunt Judy, +glad to see them so safely happy, went off to her business at the +wardrobe, while the little ones resumed their game.</p> +<p>“Very extraordinary, indeed, ma’am!” began +one of the fancy old ladies, in a completely fancy voice, a +little affected, or so. “<i>Most</i> extraordinary, +ma’am, I may say!”</p> +<p>(Here there was a renewed giggle from No. 4, which she +carefully smothered in her handkerchief.)</p> +<p>“But still I think I can tell you of something more +extraordinary still!”</p> +<p>The speaker having at this point refreshed his ideas by a sip +of the pale-coloured tea, and the other ladies having laughed +heartily in anticipation of the fun that was coming, one of them +observed:—</p> +<p>“You don’t <i>say</i> so, +ma’am—” then clicked astonishment with her +tongue against the roof of her mouth several times, and added +impressively, “<i>Pray</i> let us hear!”</p> +<p>“I shall be most happy, ma’am,” resumed the +first speaker, with a graceful inclination forwards. +“Well!—you see—it was a party. I had +invited some of my most distinguished friends—really, +ma’am, <i>fashionable</i> friends, I may say, to dinner; +and, ahem! you see—some little anxiety always attends such +affairs—even—in the best regulated +families!”</p> +<p>Here the speaker winked considerably at No. 4, and laughed +very loudly himself at his own joke.</p> +<p>“Dear me, you must excuse me, ma’am,” he +proceeded. “So, you see, I felt a little fatigued by +my morning’s exertions, (to tell you the truth, there had +been no end of bother about everything!) and I retired quietly +up-stairs to take a short nap before the dressing-bell +rang. But I had not been laid down quite half an hour, when +there was a loud knock at the door. Really, ma’am, I +felt quite alarmed, but was just able to ask, ‘Who’s +there?’ Before I had time to get an answer, however, +the door was burst open by the housemaid. Her face was +absolute scarlet, and she sobbed out:—</p> +<p>“‘Oh, ma’am, what shall we do?’</p> +<p>“‘Good gracious, Hannah,’ cried I, +‘what can be the matter? Has the soot come down the +chimney? Speak!’</p> +<p>“‘It’s nothing of that sort, +ma’am,’ answered Hannah, ‘it’s the +cook!’</p> +<p>“‘The cook!’ I shouted. ‘I wish +you would not be so foolish, Hannah, but speak out at once. +What about Cook?’</p> +<p>“‘Please, m’m, the cook’s lost!’ +says Hannah. ‘We can’t find her!’</p> +<p>“‘Your wits are lost, Hannah, <i>I</i> +think,’ cried I, and sent her to tidy the rooms while I +slipt downstairs to look for the cook.</p> +<p>“Fancy a lost cook, ma’am! Was there ever +such a ridiculous idea? And on the day of a dinner-party +too! Did you ever hear of such a trial to a lady’s +feelings before?”</p> +<p>“Never, I am sure,” responded the lady +opposite. “Did <i>you</i>, ma’am?” +turning to her neighbour.</p> +<p>But the other three ladies all shook their heads, bit their +lips, and declared that they “Never had, they were +sure!”</p> +<p>“I thought not!” ejaculated the narrator. +“Well, ma’am, I went into the kitchens, the larder, +the pantries, the cellars, and all sorts of places, and still no +cook! Do you know, she really was nowhere! Actually, +ma’am, the cook was lost!”</p> +<p>Shouts of laughter burst forth here; but the lady (who was No. +5) put up his hand, and called out in his own natural +tones:—</p> +<p>“Stop! I haven’t got to the end +yet!”</p> +<p>“Order!” proclaimed No. 4 immediately, in a very +commanding voice, and thumping the table with the head of an old +wooden doll to enforce obedience.</p> +<p>And then the sham lady proceeded in the same mincing voice as +before:—</p> +<p>“Well!—dear me, I’m quite put out. But +however, you see—what was to be done, that was the +thing. It wanted only half an hour to dinner-time, and +there was the meat roasting away by itself, and the potatoe-pan +boiling over. You never heard such a fizzling as it made in +your life—in short, everything was in a mess, and there was +no cook.</p> +<p>“Well! I basted the meat for a few minutes, took +the potatoe-pan off the fire, and then ran up-stairs to put on my +bonnet. Thought I, the best thing I can do is to send +somebody for the policeman, and let <i>him</i> find the +cook. But while I was tying the strings of my bonnet, I +fancied I heard a mysterious noise coming out of the bottom +drawer of my wardrobe. Fancy that, ma’am, with my +nerves in such a state from the cook being lost!”</p> +<p>No. 5 paused, and looked round for sympathy, which was most +freely given by the other ladies, in the shape of sighs and +exclamations.</p> +<p>“The drawer was a very deep drawer, ma’am, so I +thought perhaps the cat had crept in,” continued No. +5. “Well, I went to it to see, and there it was, +partly open, with a cotton gown in it that didn’t belong to +me. Imagine my feelings at <i>that</i>, ma’am! +So I pulled at the handles to get the drawer quite open, but it +wouldn’t come, it was as heavy as lead. It was really +very alarming—one doesn’t like such odd things +happening—but at last I got it open, though I tumbled +backwards as I did so; and what do you think, +ma’am—ladies—what <i>do</i> you think was in +it?”</p> +<p>“The cook!” shrieked No. 4, convulsed with +laughter; and the whole party clapped their hands and roared +applause.</p> +<p>“The cook, ma’am, actually the cook!” +pursued No. 5, “one of the fattest, most <i>poonchy</i> +little women you ever saw. And what do you think was the +history of it? I kept my up-stairs Pickwick in the corner +of that bottom drawer. She had seen it there that very +morning, when she was helping to dust the room, and took the +opportunity of a spare half-hour to slip up and rest herself by +reading it in the drawer. Unluckily, however, she had +fallen asleep, and when I got the drawer out, there she lay, and +I actually heard her snore. A shocking thing this +education, ma’am, you see, and teaching people to +read. All the cooks in the country are spoilt!”</p> +<p>Peals of laughter greeted this wonderfully witty concoction of +No. 5’s, and the lemon-coloured tea and biscuits were +partaken of during the pause which followed.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy meanwhile, who had been quite unable to resist +joining in the laugh herself, was seated on the floor, behind the +open door of the wardrobe, thinking to herself of certain +passages in Wordsworth’s most beautiful ode, in which he +has described the play of children,</p> +<blockquote><p>“As if their whole vocation<br /> +Were endless imitation.”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>Truly they had got hold here of strange</p> +<blockquote><p>“Fragments from their dream of human +life.”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>Where <i>could</i> the children have picked up the original of +such absurd nonsense?</p> +<p>Aunt Judy had no time to make it out, for now the mincing +voices began again, and she sat listening.</p> +<p>“Have <i>you</i> had no curious adventures with your +maids, ma’am?” inquires No. 5 of No. 4.</p> +<p>No. 5 makes an attempt at a bewitching grin as he speaks, +fanning himself with a fan which he has had in his hand all the +time he was telling his story.</p> +<p>“Well, ladies,” replied No. 4, only just able to +compose herself to talk, “I don’t think I <i>have</i> +been quite as fortunate as yourselves in having so many +extraordinary things to tell. My servants have been sadly +common-place, and done just as they ought. But still, +<i>once</i>, ladies—once, a curious little incident did +occur to me.”</p> +<p>“Oh, ma’am, I entreat you—pray let us hear +it!” burst from all the ladies at once.</p> +<p>No. 4 had to bite her lip to preserve her gravity, and then +she turned to No. 5—</p> +<p>“The fan, if you please, ma’am!”</p> +<p>The rule was, that the one fan was placed at the disposal of +the story-teller for the time, so No. 5 handed it to No. 4, with +a graceful bow; and No. 4 waffed it to and fro immediately, and +began her account:—</p> +<p>“People are so unscrupulous you see, ladies, about +giving characters. It’s really shocking. For my +part, I don’t know what the world will come to at +last. We shall all have to be our own servants, I +suppose. People say anything about anything, that’s +the fact! Only fancy, ma’am, three different ladies +once recommended a cook to me as the best soup-maker in the +country. Now that sounded a very high recommendation, for, +of course, if a cook can make soups, she can do +anything—sweetmeats and those kind of things follow of +themselves. So, ma am, I took her, and had a dinner-party, +and ordered two soups, entirely that I might show off what a good +cook I had got. Think what a compliment to her, and how +much obliged she ought to have been! Well, ma’am, I +ordered the two soups, as I said, one white, and the other brown; +and everything appeared to be going on in the best possible +manner, when, as I was sitting in the drawing-room entertaining +the company, I was told I was wanted.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"> +<a href="images/p48b.jpg"> +<img alt= +"Playing at ladies" +title= +"Playing at ladies" + src="images/p48s.jpg" /> +</a></p> +<p>“When I got out of the room, there was the man I had +hired to wait, and says he:—</p> +<p>“‘If you please, ma’am where are the +knives? I can’t find any at all!’</p> +<p>“‘No knives!’ says I. ‘Dear me, +don’t come to me about the knives. Ask the cook, of +course.’</p> +<p>“‘Please, ma’am, I have asked her, and she +only laughed.’</p> +<p>“‘Then,’ said I, ‘ask the +housemaid. It’s impossible for me to come out and +look for the knives.’</p> +<p>“Well, ladies,” continued No. 4, “would you +believe it?—could anyone believe it?—when I sat down +to dinner, and began to help the soup, no sooner had the silver +ladle (<i>my</i> ladle is silver, ladies) been plunged into the +tureen, than a most singular rattling was heard.</p> +<p>“‘William,’ cried I, half in a whisper, to +the waiter who was holding the plate, ‘what in the world is +this? Surely Cook has not left the bones in?’</p> +<p>“‘Please, ma’am, I don’t know,’ +was all the man could say.</p> +<p>“Well—there was no remedy now, so I dipped the +ladle in again, and lifted out—oh! ma’am, I know if +it was anybody but myself who told you, you wouldn’t +believe it—a ladleful of the lost knives! There they +were, my best beautiful ivory handles, all in the white +soup! And while I was discovering them, the gentleman at +the other end of the table had found all the kitchen-knives, with +black handles, in the brown soup!</p> +<p>“There never was anything so mortifying before. +And what do you think was Cook’s excuse, when I reproached +her?</p> +<p>“‘Please, ma’am,’ said she, ‘I +read in the <i>Young Woman’s Vademecum of Instructive +Information</i>, page 150, that there was nothing in the world so +strengthening and wholesome as dissolved bones, and ivory-dust; +and so, ma’am, I always make a point of throwing in a few +knives into every soup I have the charge of, for the sake of the +handles—ivory-handles for white soups, ma’am, and +black-handles for the browns!’”</p> +<p>Thunders of applause interrupted Cook’s excuse at this +point, and No. 7 was so overcome that he pushed his chair back, +and performed three distinct somersets on the floor, to the +complete disorganization of his head-dress, which consisted of a +turban, from beneath which hung a cluster of false curls.</p> +<p>Turban and wig being replaced, however, and No. 7 reseated and +composed, No. 4 proceeded:—</p> +<p>“Cook generally takes them out, she informed me, ladies, +before the tureens come to table; ‘but,’ said she, +‘my back was turned for a minute here, ma’am, and +that stupid William carried them off without asking if they were +ready. It’s all William’s fault, ma’am; +and I don’t mean to stay, for I don’t like a place +where the man who waits has no tact!’</p> +<p>“Now, ladies,” continued No. 4, “what do you +think of that by way of a speech from a cook? And I assure +you that a medical man’s wife, to whom I mentioned in the +course of the evening what Cook had said about dissolved bones, +told me that her husband had only laughed, and said Cook was +quite right. So she hired the woman that night herself, and +I have been told in confidence since—you’ll not +repeat it, therefore, of course, ladies?”</p> +<p>“Of course not!” came from all sides.</p> +<p>“Well, then, I was told that, before the year was out, +the family hadn’t a knife that would cut anything, they +were so cankered with rust. So much for education and +learning to read, as you justly observed, ma’am, +before!”</p> +<p>When the emotions produced by this tale had a little subsided, +No. 7 was called upon for his experience of maids.</p> +<p>No. 7, with the turban on his head, and a fine red necklace +round his throat, said he took very little notice of the maids, +but that he once had had a very tiresome little boy in buttons, +who was extremely fond of sugar, and always carried the +sugar-shaker in his pocket, and ate up the sugar that was in it, +and when it was empty, filled it up with magnesia.</p> +<p>“But <i>once</i>,” he added, “ladies, he +actually put some soda in. It was at a party, and we had +our first rhubarb tart for the season, and the company sprinkled +it all over with the soda and began to eat, but they were too +polite to say how nasty it was. But, of course, when I was +helped I called out. And what do you think the boy in +buttons said?”</p> +<p>Nobody could guess, so No. 7 had to tell them.</p> +<p>“He said he had put it in on purpose, because he thought +it would correct the acid of the pie. So I said he had best +be apprenticed to a doctor; so he went—I dare say, +ma’am, it was the same doctor who took your cook—but +I never heard of him any more, and I’ve never dared to have +a boy in buttons again.”</p> +<p>“A very wise decision, ma’am, I’m +sure!” cried Aunt Judy, who came up to the wonderful +tea-table in the midst of the last mound of applause. +“And now may I ask what game this is that you are playing +at?”</p> +<p>“Oh, we’re telling <i>Cook Stories</i>, Aunt +Judy,” cried No. 6, seizing her by the arm; +“they’re such capital fun! I wish you had heard +mine; they were laughing at it when you first came in!”</p> +<p>“It must have been delicious, to judge by the delight it +gave,” replied Aunt Judy, smiling, and kissing No. +6’s oddly bedizened up-turned face. “But what I +want to know is, what put Cook Stories, as you call them, into +your head?”</p> +<p>“Oh! don’t you remember—” and here +followed a long account from No. 6 of how, about a week before, +the little ones had gone somewhere to spend the day, and how it +had turned out a very rainy day, so that they could not have +games out of doors with their young friends, as had been +expected, but were obliged to sit a great part of the time in the +drawing-room, putting Chinese puzzles together into stupid +patterns, and playing at fox-and-goose, while the ladies were +talking “grown-up conversation,” as No. 6 worded it, +among themselves; and, of course, being on their own good +behaviour, and very quiet, they could not help hearing what was +said. “And, oh dear, Aunt Judy,” continued No. +6, now with both her arms holding Aunt Judy, of whom she was very +fond, (except at lesson times!) round the waist, “it was so +odd! No. 7 and I did nothing at last but listen and watch +them; for little Miss, who sat with us, was shy, and +wouldn’t talk, and it was so very funny to see the ladies +nodding and making faces at each other, and whispering, and +exclaiming, how shocking! how abominable! you don’t say so! +and all that kind of thing!”</p> +<p>“Well, but what was shocking, and abominable, and all +that kind of thing?” inquired Aunt Judy.</p> +<p>“Oh, I don’t know—things the nurses, and +cooks, and boys in buttons did. Almost all the ladies had +some story to tell—all the servants had done something or +other queer—but especially the cooks, Aunt Judy, there was +no end to the cooks. So one day after we came back, and we +didn’t know what to play at, I said: ‘Do let us play +at telling Cook Stories, like the ladies at +—.’ So we’ve dressed up, and played at +Cook Stories, ever since. Dear Aunt Judy, I wish you would +invent a Cook Story yourself!” was the conclusion of No. +6’s account.</p> +<p>So then the mystery was out. Aunt Judy’s +wonderings were cut short. Out of the real life of +civilized intelligent society had come those</p> +<blockquote><p>“Fragments from their dream of human +life,”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>which Aunt Judy had called absurd nonsense. And absurd +nonsense, indeed, it was; but Aunt Judy was seized by the idea +that some good might be got out of it.</p> +<p>So, in answer to No. 6’s wish, she said, with a shy +smile:—</p> +<p>“I don’t think I could tell Cook Stories half as +well as yourself. But if, by way of a change, you would +like a <i>Lady</i> Story instead, perhaps I might be able to +accomplish that.”</p> +<p>“A <i>Lady</i> Story! Oh, but that would be so +dull, wouldn’t it?” inquired No. 6. “You +can’t make anything funny out of them, surely! Surely +they never do half such odd things as cooks, and boys in +buttons!”</p> +<p>“The ladies themselves think not, of course,” was +Aunt Judy’s reply.</p> +<p>“Well, but what do you think, Aunt Judy?”</p> +<p>“Oh, I don’t think it matters what I think. +The question is, what do cooks and boys in buttons +think?”</p> +<p>“But, Aunt Judy, ladies are never tiresome, and idle, +and impertinent, like cooks and boys in buttons. Oh! if you +had but heard the <i>real</i> Cook Stories those ladies +told! I say, let me tell you one or two—I do think I +can remember them, if I try.”</p> +<p>“Then don’t try on any account, dear No. 6,” +exclaimed Aunt Judy. “I like make-believe Cook +Stories much better than real ones.”</p> +<p>“So do I!” cried No. 7, “they’re so +much the more entertaining.”</p> +<p>“And not a bit less useful,” subjoined Aunt Judy, +with a sly smile.</p> +<p>“Well, I didn’t see much good in the real +ones,” pursued No. 7, in a sort of muse.</p> +<p>“Let us tell you another make-believe one, then,” +cried No. 6, who saw that Aunt Judy was moving off, and wanted to +detain her.</p> +<p>“Then it’s <i>my</i> turn!” shouted No. 8, +jumping up, and stretching out his arm and hand like a young +orator flushed to his work. And actually, before the rest +of the little ones could put him down or stop him, No. 8 +contrived to tumble out the Cook Story idea, which had probably +been brewing in his head all the time of Aunt Judy’s +talk.</p> +<p>It was very brief, and this was it, delivered in much haste, +and with all the earnestness of a maiden speech.</p> +<p>“<i>I</i> had a button boy too, and he was a—what +d’ye call it—oh, a <i>rascal</i>, that was +it;—he was a rascal, and liked the currants in mince-pies, +so he took them all out, and ate them up, and put in glass beads +instead. So when the people began to ear, their teeth +crunched against the beads! Ah! bah! how nasty it +was!”</p> +<p>No. 8 accompanied this remark with a corresponding grimace of +disgust, and then observed in conclusion:—</p> +<p>“Perhaps he found it in a book, but I don’t know +where,” after which he lowered his outstretched arm, +smiled, and sat down.</p> +<p>The company clapped applause, and No. 4 especially must have +been very fond of laughing, for the glass-bead anecdote set her +off again as heartily as ever, and the rest followed in her wake, +and while so doing, never noticed that Aunt Judy had slipped +away.</p> +<p>They soon discovered it, however, when their mirth began to +subside; but before they had time to wonder much, there appeared +from behind the door of the wardrobe a figure, which in their +secret souls they knew to be Aunt Judy herself, although it +looked a great deal stouter, and had a thick-filled cap on its +head, a white linen apron over its gown, and a pair of spectacles +on its nose. At sight of it they showed signs of clapping +again, but stopped short when it spoke to them as a stranger, and +willingly received it as such.</p> +<p>Ah! it is one of the sweet features of childhood that it +yields itself up so readily to any little surprise or delusion +that is prepared for its amusement. No nasty pride, no +disinclination to be carried away, no affected indifference, +interfere with young children’s enjoyment of what is +offered them. They will even help themselves into the +pleasant visions by an effort of will; and perhaps, now and then, +end by partly believing what they at first received voluntarily +as an agreeable make-believe.</p> +<p>If, therefore, after the cook figure of Aunt Judy had seated +itself by the doll’s table, and the little ones had looked +and grinned at it for some time, hazy sensations began to steal +over one or two minds, that this <i>was</i> somehow really a +cook, it was all in the natural course of things, and nobody +resisted the feeling.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy’s altered voice, and odd, assumed manner, +contributed, no doubt, a good deal to the impression.</p> +<p>“Dear, dear! what pretty little darlings you all +are!” she began, looking at them one after another. +“As sweet as sugar-plums, when you have your own way, and +are pleased. Eh, dears? But you don’t think you +can take old Cooky in, do you? No, no, I know what ladies +and gentlemen, and ladies’ and gentlemen’s +<i>young</i> ladies and <i>young</i> gentlemen are, pretty well, +dears, I can tell you! Don’t I know all about the +shiny hair and smiling faces of the little pets in the parlour, +and how they leave parlour-manners behind them sometimes, when +they run to the kitchen to Cook, and order her here and there, +and want half-a-dozen things at once, and must and will have what +they want, and are for popping their fingers into every pie!</p> +<p>“Well, well,” she proceeded, “the +parlour’s the parlour, and the kitchen’s the kitchen, +and I’m only a cook. But then I conduct myself +<i>as</i> Cook, even when I’m in the scullery, and I only +wish ladies, and ladies’ <i>young</i> ladies too, would +conduct themselves as ladies, even when they come into the +kitchen; that’s what I call being honourable and +upright. Well, dears, I’ll tell you how I came to +know all about it. You see, I lived once in a family where +there were no less than eight of those precious little pets, and +a precious time I had of it with them. But, to be sure, now +it’s past and gone—I can make plenty of excuses for +them, poor things! They were so coaxed and flattered, and +made so much of, what could be expected from them but tiresome, +wilful ways, without any sense?</p> +<p>“‘If your mamma would but put <i>you</i> into the +scullery, young miss, to learn to wash plates and scour the pans +out, she’d make a woman of you,’ used I to think to +myself when a silly child, who thought itself very clever to +hinder other people’s work, would come hanging about in the +kitchen, doing nothing but teaze and find fault, for that’s +what a girl can always do.</p> +<p>“It was very aggravating, you may be sure, dears, (you +see I can talk to you quite reasonably, because you’re so +nicely behaved;)—it was very aggravating, of course; but I +used to make allowances for them. Says I to myself, +‘Cook, you’ve had the blessing of being brought up to +hard work ever since you were a babby. You’ve had to +earn your daily bread. Nobody knows how that brings people +to their senses till they’ve tried; so don’t you go +and be cocky, because ladies and gentlemen, and ladies’ and +gentlemen’s <i>young</i> ladies and <i>young</i> gentlemen, +are not quite so sensible as you are. Who knows but what, +if you’d been born to do nothing, you might have been no +wiser than them! It’s lucky for you you’re only +a cook; but don’t you go and be cocky, that’s +all! Make allowances; it’s the secret of +life!’</p> +<p>“So you see, dears, I <i>did</i> make allowances; and +after the eight little pets was safe in bed till next morning, I +used to feel quite composed, and pitiful-like towards them, poor +little dears! But certainly, when morning came, and the +oldest young master was home for the holidays, it was a trying +time for me, and I couldn’t think of the allowances any +longer. Either he wouldn’t get up and come down till +everyone else had had their breakfast, and so he wanted fresh +water boiled, and fresh tea made, and another muffin toasted, and +more bacon fried; or else he was up so outrageous early, that he +was scolding because there was no hot water before the fire was +lit—bless you, he hadn’t a bit of sense in his head, +poor boy, not a bit! And how should he? Why, he went +to school as soon as he was out of petticoats, and was set to all +that Latin and Greek stuff that never puts anything useful into +folks’ heads, but so much more chatter and talk; so he came +back as silly as he went, poor thing! Dear me, on a wet +day, after lesson-time, those boys were like so many crazy +creatures. ‘Cook, I must make a pie,’ says +one. ‘There’s a pie in the oven already, Master +James,’ says I. ‘I don’t care about the +pie in the oven,’ says he, ‘I want a pie of my +own. Bring me the flour, and the water, and the butter, and +all the things—and, above all, the rolling-pin—and +clear the decks, will you, I say, for my pie. Here +goes!’ And here used to go, my dears, for Master +James had no sense, as I told you; and so he’d shove all my +pots and dishes away, one on the top of the other; and let me be +as busy as I would, and dinner ever so near ready, the dresser +must be cleared, and everything must give way to <i>his</i> +pie! His pie, indeed—I wish I had had the management +of his pie just then! I’d have taught him what it was +to come shaking the rolling-pin at the head of a respectable +cook, who wanted to get her business done properly, as in duty +bound!</p> +<p>“But he wasn’t the only one. There was +little Whipper-snapper, his younger brother, squeaking out in +another corner, ‘I shan’t make a pie, James, I shall +make toffey; it’s far better fun. You’d better +come and help me. Where’s the treacle pot, +Cook? Cook! I say, Cook! where’s the +treacle-pot? And look at this stupid kettle and pan. +What’s in the pan, I wonder? Oh, kidney-beans! +Who cares for kidney-beans? How can I make toffey, when all +these things are on the fire? Stay, I’ll hand them +all off!’</p> +<p>“And, sure enough, if I hadn’t rushed from Master +James, who was drinking away at my custard out of the bowl, to +seize on Whipper-snapper, who had got his hand on the +vegetable-pan already, he would have pulled it and the kettle, +and the whole concern, off the fire, and perhaps scalded himself +to death.</p> +<p>“Then, of course, there comes a scuffle, and Master +Whipper-snapper begins to roar, and out comes Missus, who, poor +thing, had no more sense in her head than her sons, though +she’d never been to school to lose it over Latin and Greek; +and, says she, with all her ribbons streaming, and her petticoats +swelled out like a window-curtain in a draught—says +she:—</p> +<p>“‘Cook! I desire that you will not touch my +children!’</p> +<p>“‘As you please, ma’am,’ says I, +‘if you’ll be so good as to stop the young gentlemen +from touching my pans, and—’ I was going to say +‘custard,’ but Master James shouts out quite +quick:—</p> +<p>“‘Why, I only wanted to make a pie, +mamma.’</p> +<p>“‘And I only wanted to make some toffey!’ +cries Whipper-snapper; and then mamma answers, like a duchess at +court:—</p> +<p>“‘There can’t possibly be any objection, my +dears; and I wish, Cook, you would he a little more good-natured +to the children;—your temper is sadly against +you!’</p> +<p>“And out she sails, ribbons and window-curtains and all; +and, says I to myself, as I cooled down, (for the young gentlemen +luckily went away with their dear mama,)—says I to myself, +‘It’s a very fine thing, no doubt, to go about in +ribbons, and petticoats, and grand clothes; but, if one must +needs carry such a poor, silly head inside them, as Missus does, +I’d rather stop as I am, and be a cook with some sense +about me.’</p> +<p>“I don’t say, my dears,” continued the +supposed cook, “that I spoke very politely just then; but +who could feel polite, when their dinner had been put back at +least half-an-hour over such nonsense as that? Missus used +to say the ‘dear boys’ came to the kitchen on a wet +day, because they’d got <i>nothing else to do</i>! +Nothing else to do! and had learnt Latin and Greek, and all sorts +of schooling besides! So much for education, thought +I. Why, it would spoil the best lads that ever were born +into the world. For, of course, you know if these young +gentlemen had been put to decent trades, they’d have found +something else to do with their fingers besides mischief and +waste. And, dear me, I talk about not having been polite to +Missus just then, but now you tell me, dears, what Missus, with +all her education, would have said if she’d been in my +place, when one young gentleman was drinking her custard, and +another young gentleman was pulling her pans on the floor! +Do you think she’d have been a bit more polite than I +was? Wouldn’t she have called me all the stupid +creatures that ever were born, and told the story over and over +to all her friends and acquaintance to make them stare, and say +there were surely no such simpletons in the world as ladies and +gentlemen, and ladies’ and gentlemen’s young ladies +and young gentlemen?</p> +<p>“However, I did not go as far as that, because, you see, +I had some sense about me, and could make allowances for all the +nonsense the poor things are brought up to.”</p> +<p>There was no resisting the twinkle in Aunt Judy’s eye +when she came to this point, though it shone through an old pair +of Nurse’s spectacles; and the little ones clapped their +hands, and declared it was every bit as good as a Cook story, +<i>only a great deal better</i>! That twinkle had quite +brought Aunt Judy back to them again, in spite of her +cook’s attire, and No. 6 cried out:—</p> +<p>“Oh! don’t stop, Aunt Judy! Do go on, Cooky +dear! do tell some more! Did you always live in that place, +please?”</p> +<p>“There now!” exclaimed Aunt Judy, throwing herself +back in the chair, “isn’t that a regular young +lady’s question, out and out? Who but a young lady, +with no more sense in her head than a pin, would have thought of +asking such a thing? Why, miss, is there a joint in the +world that can bear basting for ever? No, no! a time comes +when it must be taken down, if any good’s to be left in it; +and so at the end of three years my basting-time was over, and +the time for taking down was come.</p> +<p>“‘Cook,’ says I to myself, ‘you must +give in. If you go on with those cherubs (that was their +company name, you know) much longer, there won’t be a bit +of you left!’ And, sure enough, that very morning, +dears, they’d come down upon me with a fresh grievance, and +I couldn’t stand it, I really couldn’t! The +sweeps had been by four o’clock to the kitchen chimney, and +I’d been up and toiling every minute since, and +hadn’t had time to eat my breakfast, when in they +burst—the young ladies, not the sweeps, dears, I +mean:—and there they broke out at once—I hadn’t +fed their sea-gulls before breakfast—(a couple of +dull-looking grey birds, with big mouths, that had come in a +hamper over night as a present to the cherubs;) and it seems I +ought to have been up before daylight almost, to look for slugs +for them in the garden till they’d got used to the +place!</p> +<p>“Oh, these ladies and gentlemen! they’d need know +something of some sort to make amends, for there are many things +they never know all their life long!</p> +<p>“‘Young ladies,’ says I, ‘I +didn’t come here to get meals ready for sea-gulls, but +Christian ladies and gentlemen. If the sea-gulls want a +cook, your mamma must hire them one on purpose. I’ve +plenty to do for her and the family, without looking after such +nonsense as that!’</p> +<p>“‘That’s what you always say,’ +whimpers the youngest Miss; ‘and you know they don’t +want any cooking, but only raw slugs! And you know you +might easily look for them, because you’ve got almost +nothing to do, because it’s such an easy place, mamma +always says. But you’re always cross, mamma says that +too, and everybody knows you are, because she tells +everybody!’</p> +<p>“When little Miss had got that out, she thought +she’d finished me up; and so she had, for when I heard that +Missus was so ungenteel as to go talking of what I did, to all +her acquaintance, and had nothing better to talk about, I made up +my mind that I’d give notice that very day.</p> +<p>“‘Very well, miss,’ says I, ‘your +mamma shall soon have something fresh to talk about, and I hope +she’ll find it a pleasant change.’</p> +<p>“There was some of them knew what I meant at once, for +after they’d scampered off I heard shouts up and down the +stairs from one to the other, ‘Cook’s +going!’ ‘We shall have a new cook +soon!’ ‘What a lark we’ll have with the +toffey and the pies! We’ll make her do just as we +choose!’</p> +<p>“‘There, now,’ thought I to myself, +‘there’ll be somebody else put down to baste before +long. Well, I’m glad my time’s +over.’ And thereupon I fell to wishing I was back +again in father and mother’s ricketty old cottage, that +I’d once been so proud to leave, to go and live with +gentlefolks. But, you see, it was no use wishing, for +I’d my bread to earn, and must turn out somewhere, let it +be as disagreeable as it would. Father and mother were +dead, and there was no ricketty cottage for me to go back to, so +I wiped my eyes, and told myself to make the best of what had to +be.</p> +<p>“Well, dears,” pursued Cooky, after a short pause, +during which the little ones looked far more inclined to cry than +laugh, “Missus was quite taken aback when she heard I +wouldn’t stay any longer.</p> +<p>“‘Cook,’ she said, ‘I’m +perfectly astonished at your want of sense in not recognizing the +value of such a situation as mine! and as to your complaints +about the children, anything more ridiculously unreasonable I +never heard! Such superior, well-taught young people, you +are not very likely to meet with again in a hurry!’</p> +<p>“‘Perhaps not, ma’am,’ says I, +‘in French, and crochet, and the piano, and Latin, and +things I don’t understand, being only a cook. But I +know what behaviour is, and that’s what I’m sure the +young ladies and gentlemen have never been taught; or if they +have, they’re so slow at taking it in, that I think I shall +do better with a family where the behaviour-lessons come +first!’</p> +<p>“Missus was very angry, and so was I; but at last she +said:—</p> +<p>“‘Cook, I shall not argue with you any longer; you +know no better, and I suppose I must make allowances for +you.’</p> +<p>“‘I’m much obliged to you, ma’am, +I’m sure,’ was my answer; ‘it’s what +I’ve always done by you ever since I came to the house, and +I’ll do it still with pleasure, and think no more of +what’s been said.’</p> +<p>“I spoke from my heart, I can tell you, dears, for I +felt very sorry for Missus, and thought she was but a lady after +all, and perhaps I’d hardly made allowances enough. +I’d lost my temper, too, as I knew after she went +away. But, you see, while she was there, it was so +mortifying to be spoken to as if all the sense was on her side, +when I knew it was all on mine, wherever the French and crochet +may have been. Well, but the day before I left, I broke +down with another of them, as it’s fair that you should +know.</p> +<p>“I’d felt very lonely that day, busy as I was, and +in the afternoon I took myself into the scullery to give the pans +a sort of good-bye cleaning, and be out of everybody’s +way. But there, in the midst of it, comes the eldest young +gentleman flinging into the kitchen, shouting, ‘Cook! +Cook! Where’s Cook?’ as usual. I thought +he was after some of his old tricks, and I <i>had</i> been +fretting over those pans, thinking what a sad job it was to have +no home to go to in the world, so I gave him a very short +answer.</p> +<p>“‘Master James,’ says I, ‘I’ve +done with nonsense now, I can’t attend to you. You +must wait till the next cook comes.’</p> +<p>“But Master James came straight away to the scullery +door, and says he, ‘Cook, I’m not coming to +teaze. I’ve brought you a needle-book. There, +Cook! It’s full of needles. I put them all in +myself. Keep it, please.’</p> +<p>“Dear, dear, I can’t forget it yet,” pursued +Cook, “how Master James stood on the little stone step of +the scullery, with his arm stretched out, and the needle-book +that he’d bought for me in his hand. I don’t +know how I thanked him, I’m sure; but I had to go back to +the sink and wash the dirt off my hands before I could touch the +pretty little thing, and then I told him I would keep it as long +as ever I lived.</p> +<p>“He laughed, and says he, ‘Now shake hands, +Cooky,’ and so we shook hands; and then off he ran, and I +went back to my pans and fairly cried. ‘Why, +Cook,’ says I to myself, ‘that lad’s got as +good a heart as your own, after all. And as to sense and +behaviour, they haven’t been forced upon him yet, as they +have upon you. Latin’s Latin, and conduct’s +conduct, and one doesn’t teach the other; and it’s +too bad to expect more of people than what they’ve had +opportunity for.’</p> +<p>“Well, dears, that was the rule I always went by, and +I’ve been in many situations since—with single +ladies, and single gentlemen, and large families, and all; and +there was something to put up with in all of them; and they +always told me there was a good deal to put up with in me, and +perhaps there was. However, it doesn’t matter, so +long as Missus and servant go by one rule—<i>to make +allowances</i>, <i>and not expect more from people than what +they’ve had opportunity for</i>; and, above all, never to +be cocky when all the advantage is on their own side. +It’s a good rule, dears, and will stop many a foolish word +and idle tale, if you’ll go by it.”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy had finished at last, and she took off the old +spectacles and laid them on the doll’s table, and +paused.</p> +<p>“It <i>is</i> a good rule,” observed No. 4, +“and I shall go by it, and not tell real Cook Stories when +I grow up, I hope.”</p> +<p>“I love old Cooky,” cried No. 6, getting up and +hugging her round the neck; “but is it wrong, Aunt Judy, to +tell funny make-believe Cook Stories, like ours?”</p> +<p>“Not at all, No. 6,” replied Aunt Judy. +“My private belief is, that if you tell funny make-believe +Cook Stories while you’re little, you will be ashamed of +telling stupid real ones when you’re grown up.”</p> +<h2><a name="page77"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +77</span>RABBITS’ TAILS.</h2> +<blockquote><p>“Death and its two-fold aspect! +wintry—one,<br /> +Cold, sullen, blank, from hope and joy shut out;<br /> +The other, which the ray divine hath touch’d,<br /> +Replete with vivid promise, bright as spring.”</p> +<p style="text-align: right"><span +class="smcap">Wordsworth</span>.</p> +</blockquote> +<p>“<span class="smcap">Well</span> then; but you must +remember that I have been ill, and cannot be expected to invent +anything very entertaining.”</p> +<p>“Oh, we do remember, indeed, Aunt Judy; we have been so +miserable,” was the answer; and the speaker added, shoving +her little chair close up to her sister’s:—</p> +<p>“I said if you were not to get better, I shouldn’t +want to get better either.”</p> +<p>“Hush, hush, No. 6!” exclaimed Aunt Judy, quite +startled by the expression; “it was not right to say or +think that.”</p> +<p>“I couldn’t help it,” persisted No. 6. +“We couldn’t do without you, I’m +sure.”</p> +<p>“We can do without anything which God chooses to take +away,” was Aunt Judy’s very serious answer.</p> +<p>“But I didn’t want to do without,” murmured +No. 6, with her eyes fixed on the floor.</p> +<p>“Dear No. 6, I know,” replied Aunt Judy, kindly; +“but that is just what you must try not to feel.”</p> +<p>“I can’t help feeling it,” reiterated No. 6, +still looking down.</p> +<p>“You have not tried, or thought about it yet,” +suggested her sister; “but do think. Think what poor +ignorant infants we all are in the hands of God, not knowing what +is either good or bad for us; and then you will see how glad and +thankful you ought to be, to be chosen for by somebody wiser than +yourself. We must always be contented with God’s +choice about whatever happens.”</p> +<p>No. 6 still looked down, as if she were studying the pattern +of the rug, but she saw nothing of it, for her eyes were swimming +over with the tears that had filled into them, and at last she +said:—</p> +<p>“I could, perhaps, about some things, but <i>only not +that</i> about you. Aunt Judy, you know what I +mean.”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy leant back in her chair. “<i>Only not +that</i>.” It was, as she knew, the cry of the +universal world, although it broke now from the lips of a +child. And it was painful, though touching, to feel herself +the treasure that could not be parted with.</p> +<p>So there was a silence of some minutes, during which the hand +of the little sister lay in that of the elder one.</p> +<p>But the latter soon roused up and spoke.</p> +<p>“I’ll tell you what, No. 6, there’s nothing +so foolish as talking of how we shall feel, and what we shall do, +if so-and-so happens. Perhaps it never may happen, or, if +it does, perhaps we may be helped to bear it quite differently +from what we have expected. So we won’t say anything +more about it now.”</p> +<p>“I’m so glad!” exclaimed No. 6, completely +reassured and made comfortable by the cheerful tone of her +sister’s remark, though she had but a very imperfect idea +of the meaning of it, as she forthwith proved by rambling off +into a sort of self-defence and self-justification.</p> +<p>“And I’m not really a baby now, you know, Aunt +Judy! And I do know a great many things that are good and +bad for us. I know that <i>you</i> are good for us, even +when you scold over sums.”</p> +<p>“That is a grand admission, I must own,” replied +Aunt Judy, smiling; “I shall remind you of it some +day.”</p> +<p>“Well, you may,” cried No. 6, earnestly; and +added, “you see I’m not half as silly as you +thought.”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy looked at her, wondering how she should get the +child to understand what was passing through her own mind; +wondering, too whether it was right to make the attempt; and she +decided that on the whole it was; so she answered:—</p> +<p>“Ay, we grow wise enough among ourselves as we grow +older, and get to know a few more things. You are certainly +a little wiser than a baby in long petticoats, and I am a little +wiser than you, and mamma wiser than us both. But towards +God we remain ignorant infants all our lives. That was what +I meant.”</p> +<p>“But surely, Aunt Judy,” interrupted No. 6, +“mamma and you know—” There she +stopped.</p> +<p>“Nothing about God’s dealings,” pursued Aunt +Judy, “but that they are sure to be good for us, even when +we like them least, and cannot understand them at all. We +know so little what we ought really to like and dislike, dear No. +6, that we often fret and cry as foolishly as the two children +did, who, while they were in mourning for their mother, broke +their hearts over the loss of a set of rabbits’ +tails.”</p> +<p>No. 6 sprang up at the idea. She had never heard of +those children before. Who were they? Had Aunt Judy +read of them in a book, or were they real children? How +could they have broken their hearts about rabbits’ +tails? It must be a very curious story, and No. 6 begged to +hear it.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy had, however, a little hesitation about the +matter. There was something sad about the story; and there +was no exact teaching to be got out of it, though certainly if it +helped to shake No. 6’s faith in her own wisdom, a good +effect would be produced by listening to it. Also it was +not a bad thing now and then to hear of other people having to +bear trials which have not fallen to our own lot. It must +surely have a tendency to soften the heart, and make us feel more +dependent upon the God who gives and takes away. On the +whole, therefore, she would tell the story, so she made No. 6 sit +quietly down again, and began as follows:—</p> +<p>“There were once upon a time two little motherless +girls.”</p> +<p>No. 6’s excitement of expectation was hardly over, so +she tightened her hand over Aunt Judy’s, and +ejaculated:—</p> +<p>“Poor little things!”</p> +<p>“You may well say so,” continued Aunt Judy. +“It was just what everybody said who saw them at the +time. When they went about with their widowed father in the +country village where ‘they lived, even the poor women who +stood at their cottage door-steads, would look after them when +they had passed, and say with a sigh:—</p> +<p>“‘Poor little things!’</p> +<p>“When they went up to London in the winter to stay with +their grandmamma, and walked about in the Square in their little +black frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets, the ladies who saw +them,—even comparative strangers,—would turn round +arid say:—</p> +<p>“‘Poor little things!’</p> +<p>“If visitors came to call at the house, and the children +were sent for into the room, there was sure to be a whispered +exclamation directly among the grown-up people of, ‘Poor +little things!’ But oh, No. 6! the children +themselves did not think about it at all. What did they +know,—poor little things,—of the real misfortune +which had befallen them! They were sorry, of course, at +first, when they did not see their mamma as usual, and when she +did not come back to them as soon as they expected. But +some separation had taken place during her illness; and sometimes +before, she had been poorly and got well again; and sometimes she +had gone out visiting, and they had had to do without her till +she returned; and so, although the days and weeks of her absence +went on to months, still it was only the same thing they had felt +before, continued rather longer; and meantime the little events +of each day rose up to distract their attention. They got +up, and dined, and went to bed as usual. They were +sometimes merry, sometimes naughty, as usual. People made +them nice presents, or sent for them to pleasant treats, as +usual—perhaps more than usual; their father did all he +could to supply the place of the lost one, but never could name +her name; and soon they forgot that they had ever had a mamma at +all. Soon? Ay, long before friends and strangers lead +left off saying ‘Poor little things’ at sight of +them, and long before the black frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets +were laid aside, which, indeed, they wore double the usual length +of time.”</p> +<p>“And how old were they?” asked No. 6, in a +whisper.</p> +<p>“Four and five,” replied Aunt Judy; “old +enough to know what they liked and disliked from hour to +hour. Old enough to miss what had pleased them, till +something else pleased them as well. But not old enough to +look forward and know how much a mother is wanted in life; and, +therefore, what a terrible loss the loss of a mother +is.”</p> +<p>“It’s a very sad story I’m afraid,” +remarked No. 6.</p> +<p>“Not altogether,” said Aunt Judy, smiling, +“as you shall hear. One day the two little motherless +girls went hand in hand across one of the courts of the great +Charity Institution in London, where their grandmamma lived, into +the old archway entrance, and there they stood still, looking +round them, as if waiting for something. The old archway +entrance opened into a square, and underneath its shelter there +was a bench on one side, and on the other the lodge of the +porter, whose business it was to shut up the great gates at +night.</p> +<p>“The porter had often before looked at the motherless +children as they passed into the shadow of his archway, and said +to himself, ‘Poor little things;’ for just so, during +many years of his life, he had watched their young mother pass +through, and had exchanged words of friendly greeting with +her.</p> +<p>“And even now, although it was at least a year and a +half since her death, when he saw the waiting children seat +themselves on the bench opposite his door, the old thought stole +over his mind. How sad that she should have been taken away +so early from those little ones! How sad for them to be +left! No one—nothing—in this world, could +supply the loss of her protecting care.—<i>Poor little +things</i>!—and not the less so because they were +altogether unconscious of their misfortune; and here, with the +mourning casting a gloom over their fair young faces, were +looking with the utmost eagerness and delight towards the +doorway,—now and then slipping down from their seats to +take a peep into the Square, and see if what they expected was +coming,—now and then giggling to each other about the grave +face of the old man on the other side of the way.</p> +<p>“At last, one, who had been peeping a bit as before, +exclaimed, with a smothered shout, ‘Here he is!’ and +then the other joined her, and the two rushed out together into +the Square and stood on the pavement, stopping the way in front +of a lad, who held over his arm a basket containing hares’ +and rabbits’ skins, in which he carried on a small +trade.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"> +<a href="images/p77b.jpg"> +<img alt= +"Here he is" +title= +"Here he is" + src="images/p77s.jpg" /> +</a></p> +<p>“They looked up with their smiling faces into his, and +he grinned at them in return, and then they said, ‘Have you +got any for us to-day?’ on which he set down his basket +before them, and told them they might have one or two if they +pleased, and down they knelt upon the pavement, examining the +contents of his basket, and talked in almost breathless whispers +to each other of the respective merits, the softness, colour, and +prettiness, of—what do you think?”</p> +<p>At the first moment No. 6, being engrossed by the story, could +not guess at all; but in another instant she recollected, and +exclaimed:—</p> +<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy, do you mean those were the +rabbits’ tails you told about?”</p> +<p>“They were indeed, No. 6,” replied Aunt Judy; +“their grandmamma’s cook had given them one or two +sometime before, and there being but few entertaining games which +two children can play at alone, and these poor little things +being a good deal left to themselves, they invented a play of +their own out of the rabbits’ tails. I think the +pleasant feel of the fur, which was so nice to cuddle and kiss, +helped them to this odd liking; but whatever may have been the +cause, certain it is they did get quite fond of +them—pretended that they could feel, and were real living +things, and talked of them, and to them, as if they were a party +of children.</p> +<p>“They called them ‘Tods’ and +‘Toddies,’ but they had all sorts of names besides, +to distinguish one from the other. There was, +‘Whity,’ and ‘Browny,’ and +‘Softy,’ and ‘Snuggy,’ and +‘Stripy,’ and many others. They knew almost +every hair of each of them, and I believe could have told which +was which, in the dark, merely by their feel.</p> +<p>“This sounds ridiculous enough, does it not, dear No. +6?” said Aunt Judy, interrupting herself.</p> +<p>No. 6 smiled, but she was too much interested to wish to talk; +so the story proceeded.</p> +<p>“Now you must know that I have looked rather curiously +at hares’ and rabbits’ tails myself since I first +heard the story; and there actually is more variety in them than +you would suppose. Some are nice little fat +things—almost round, with the hair close and fine; others +longer and more skinny, and with poor hair, although what there +is may be of a handsome colour. And as to colour, even in +rabbits’ tails, which are white underneath, there are all +shades from grey to dark brown one the upper side; and the +patterns and markings differ, as you know they do on the fur of a +cat. In short, there really is a choice even in +hares’ and rabbits’ tails, and the more you look at +them, the more delicate distinctions you will see.</p> +<p>“Well, the poor little girls knew all about this, and a +great deal more, I dare say, than I have noticed, for they had +played at fancy-life with them, till the Tods had become far more +to them than any toys they possessed; actually, in fact, things +to love; and I dare say if we could have watched them at night +putting their Tods to bed, we should have seen every one of them +kissed.</p> +<p>“It was a capital thing, as you may suppose, for keeping +the children quiet as well as happy in the nursery, at the top of +the London house, in one particular corner of which the basket of +Tods was kept. But when grandmamma’s bell rang, which +it did day by day as a summons, after the parlour breakfast was +over, the Tods were put away; and it was dolls, or reasonable +toys of some description, which the motherless little girls took +down with them to the drawing-room; and I doubt whether either +grandmamma or aunt knew of the Tod family in the basket +up-stairs.</p> +<p>“After the affair had gone on for a little time, the +children were accidentally in the kitchen when the rabbit-skin +dealer called, and the cook begged him to give them a tail or +two; and thenceforth, of course, they looked upon him as one of +their greatest friends; and if they wanted fresh Tods, they would +lie in wait for him in the archway entrance, for fear he should +go by without coming in to call at their grandmamma’s +house. And on the day I have described, two new brothers, +‘Furry’ and ‘Buffy,’ were introduced to +the Tod establishment, and the talking and delight that ensued, +lasted for the whole afternoon.</p> +<p>“Nobody knew, I believe; but certainly if anybody had +known how the hearts of those children were getting involved over +the dead rabbits’ tails, it would have been only right to +have tried to lead their affection into some better +direction. What a waste of good emotions it was, when they +cuddled up their Tods in an evening; invented histories of what +they had said and done during the day, and put them by at last +with caresses something very nearly akin to human +love!”</p> +<p>“Oh, dear Aunt Judy,” exclaimed No. 6, “if +their poor mamma had but been there!”</p> +<p>“All would have been right then, would it not, No. +6?”</p> +<p>No. 6 said “Yes” from the very depths of her +heart.</p> +<p>“<i>As it seems to us</i>, you should say,” +continued Aunt Judy; “but that is all. It could not +have seemed so to the God who took their mother away.”</p> +<p>“Aunt Judy—”</p> +<p>“No. 6, I am telling you a very serious truth. Had +it indeed been right for the children that their mother should +have lived, she would <i>not</i> have been taken away. For +some reason or other it was necessary that they should be without +the comfort, and help, and protection, of her presence in this +world. We cannot understand it, but a time may come when we +may see it all as clearly as we now see the folly of those +children who so doted upon senseless rabbits’ +tails.”</p> +<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy, but it was still very, very +sad.”</p> +<p>“Yes, about that there cannot be a doubt, and I am as +much inclined as anybody else to say, ‘Poor little +things’ every time I mention them. But now let me go +on with the story, for it has a sort of end as well as +beginning. The Tod affair came at last to their +grandmamma’s ears.”</p> +<p>“I am so glad,” cried No. 6.</p> +<p>“You will not say so when I tell you how it +happened,” was Aunt Judy’s rejoinder. +“The fact was, that one unfortunate day one of the Tods +disappeared. Whether it lead been left out of the basket +when grandmamma’s bell rang, and so got swept away by the +nurse and burnt, I cannot say; but, at any rate, when the +children went to their play one morning, ‘Softy,’ +their dear little ‘Softy,’ was gone. He was the +fattest-furred and finest-haired of all the Tod family, and the +one about whom they invented the prettiest stories; he was, in +fact, the model, the out-of-the-way-amiable pattern Tod. +They could not believe at first that he really was gone. +They hunted for him in every hole and corner of their nursery and +bed-room; they looked for him all along the passages; they tossed +all the other Tods out of the basket to find him, as if they +really were—even in their eyes—nothing but +rabbits’ tails; they asked all the servants about him, till +everybody’s patience was exhausted, and they got angry; and +then at last the children’s hope and temper were both +exhausted too, and they broke out into passionate crying.</p> +<p>“This was vexatious to the nurse, of course; but her +method of consolation was not very judicious.</p> +<p>“‘Why, bless my heart,’ was her beginning, +‘what nonsense! Didn’t the children know as +well as she did, that hares’ and rabbits’ tails were +not alive, and couldn’t feel? and what could it signify of +one of them was thrown away and lost? They’d a +basket-full left besides, and it was plenty of such rubbish as +that! They were all very well to play with up in the +nursery, but they were worth nothing when all was said and +done!’</p> +<p>“This was completely in vain, of course. The +children sat on the nursery floor and cried on just the same; and +by-and-by went away to the corner of the room where the +Tod-basket was kept, and bewailed the loss of poor +‘Softy’ to his brothers and sisters inside.</p> +<p>“As the time approached, however, for grandmamma’s +summoning bell, the nurse began to wonder what she could do to +stop this fretting, and cool the red eyes; so she tried the +coaxing plan, by way of a change.</p> +<p>“‘If she was such nice little girls with beautiful +dolls and toys, she never would fret so about a rabbit’s +tail, to be sure! And, besides, the boy was sure to be +round again very soon with the hare and rabbit skins; and if they +would only be good, and dry their eyes, she would get him to give +them as many more as they pleased. Quite fresh new +ones. She dared say they would be as pretty again as the +one that was lost.’</p> +<p>“If nurse had wished to hit upon an injudicious remark, +she could not have succeeded better. What did they care for +‘fresh new’ Tods instead of their dear +‘Softy?’ And the mere suggestion that any +others could be prettier, turned their regretful love into a sort +of passionate indignation; yet the nurse had meant well, and was +astonished when the conclusion of what was intended to be a kind +harangue, was followed by a louder burst of crying than ever.</p> +<p>“It must be owned that the little girls had by this time +got out of grief into naughtiness; and there was now quite as +much petted temper as sorrow in their tears; and lo! while they +were in the midst of this fretful condition, grandmamma’s +summoning bell was heard, and they were obliged to go down to +her.</p> +<p>“You can just imagine their appearance when they entered +the drawing-room with their eyes red and swelled, their cheeks +flushed, and anything but a pleasant expression over their +faces. Of course, grandmamma and aunt immediately made +inquiries as to the reason of so much disturbance, but the +children were scarcely able to utter the usual ‘good +morning;’ and when called upon to tell their cause of +trouble, did nothing but begin to cry afresh.</p> +<p>“Whereupon their aunt was dispatched up-stairs to find +out what was amiss; and then, for the first time, she heard from +the nurse the history of the Tod family, the children’s +devotion to them, and their present vexatious grief about the +loss of a solitary one of what she called their stupid bits of +nonsense.</p> +<p>“Foolish as the whole affair sounds in looking back upon +it, it certainly was one which required rather delicate handling, +and I doubt whether anybody but a mother could have handled it +properly. Grandmamma and aunt had every wish to do for the +best, but they hardly took enough into consideration, either the +bereaved condition of those motherless little ones, or their +highly fanciful turn of mind. Yet nobody was to blame; the +children spent all the summer with their father in the country, +and all the winter with their grandmamma in London; and, +therefore, no continued knowledge of their characters was +possible, for they were always birds of passage everywhere. +Certainly, however, it was a great mistake, under such +circumstances, for grandmamma and aunt to have broken rudely into +the one stronghold of childish comfort, which they had raised up +for themselves.”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy paused, and No. 6 really looked frightened as to +what was coming next, and asked what Aunt Judy could mean that +they did. “Were they very angry?”</p> +<p>“No, they were not very angry,” Aunt Judy said; +“perhaps if they had been only that, the whole thing would +have passed over and been forgotten.</p> +<p>“But they held grave consultation upon the subject, and +made it too serious, in my opinion, and I dare say you will think +so too. Meantime the naughty children were turned out of +the room while they talked, and the mystery of this, sobered +their temper considerably; so that they made no further +disturbance, but wandered up and down the stairs, and about the +hall, in silent discomfort.</p> +<p>“At one time they thought they heard the drawing-room +door open, and their aunt go up-stairs towards the nursery +department again; but then for a long while they heard no more; +and at last, childlike, began to amuse themselves by seeing how +far along the oil-cloth pattern they could each step, as they +walked the length of the hall, the great object being to stretch +from one particular diamond to another, without touching any +intermediate mark.</p> +<p>“In the midst of the excitement of this, they heard +their aunt’s voice calling to them from the middle of the +last flight of stairs. There was something in her face, +composed as it was, which alarmed them directly, and there they +stood quite still, gazing at her.</p> +<p>“‘Grandmamma and I,’ she began, ‘think +you have been very silly indeed in making such a fuss about those +rabbits’ tails; and you have been very naughty indeed +to-day, <i>very naughty</i>, in crying so ridiculously, and +teazing all the servants, because of one being lost. You +can’t play with them rationally, nurse is sure, and so we +think you will be very much better without them. Grandmamma +has sent me to tell you—<i>You will never see the Tods</i>, +<i>as you call them</i>, <i>any more</i>.’</p> +<p>“Aunt Judy, it was horrible!” cried No. 6; +“savage and horrible!” she repeated, and burst the +next instant into a flood of tears.</p> +<p>“Oh, my old darling No. 6,” cried Aunt Judy, +covering the sobbing child quite round with both her arms, +“surely <i>you</i> are not going into hysterics about the +rabbits’ tails too! I doubt if even their little +mammas did that. Come! you must cheer up, or mamma will +leave to be sent for to say that if you are so unreasonable, you +must never listen to Aunt Judy’s stories any +more.”</p> +<p>No. 6’s emotion began to subside under the comfortable +embrace, and Aunt Judy’s joke provoked a smile.</p> +<p>“There now, that’s good!” cried Aunt Judy; +“and now, if you won’t be ridiculous, I will finish +the story. I almost think the prettiest part is to +come.”</p> +<p>This was consolation indeed; but No. 6 could not resist a +remark.</p> +<p>“But, Aunt Judy, wasn’t that +aunt—”</p> +<p>“Hush, hush,” interrupted Aunt Judy, “I +apologized for both aunt and grandmamma before I told you what +they did. They meant to do for the best, and</p> +<blockquote><p>‘The best can do no more.’</p> +</blockquote> +<p>They cured the evil too, though in what you and I think rather +a rough manner. And rough treatment is sometimes very +effectual, however unpleasant. It was but a preparation for +the much harder disappointments of older life.”</p> +<p>“Poor little things!” ejaculated No. 6, once +more. “Just tell me if they cried +dreadfully.”</p> +<p>“I don’t think I care to talk much about that, +dear No. 6,” answered her sister. “They had +cried almost as much as they could do in one day, and were +stupified by the new misfortune, besides which, they had a +feeling all the time of having brought it on themselves by being +dreadfully naughty. It was a sad muddle altogether, I must +confess. The shock upon the poor children’s minds at +the time must have been very great, for the memory of that +bereavement clung to them through grown-up life, as a very +unpleasant recollection, when a thousand more important things +had passed away forgotten from their thoughts. In fact, as +I said, the motherless little girls really broke their hearts +over a parcel of rabbits’ tails. But I must go on +with the story. After a day or two of dull desolation, the +children wearied even of their grief. And both grandmamma +and aunt became very sorry for them, although the fatal subject +of the Tods was never mentioned; but they bought them several +beautiful toys which no child could help looking at or being +pleased with. Among these presents was a brown fur dog, +with a very nice face and a pair of bright black eyes, and a +curly tail hung over his back in a particularly graceful manner; +and this was, as you may suppose, in the children’s eyes, +the gem of all their new treasures. The feel of him +reminded them of the lost Tods; and in every respect he was, of +course, superior. They named him ‘Carlo,’ and +in a quiet manner established him as the favourite creature of +their play. And thus, by degrees, and as time went on, +their grief for the loss of the Tods abated somewhat; and at last +they began to talk about them to each other, which was a sure +sign that their feelings were softened.</p> +<p>“But you will never guess what turn their conversation +took. They did not begin to say how sorry they had been, or +were; nor did they make any angry remarks about their +aunt’s cruelty; but one day as they were sitting playing +with Carlo, in what may be called the Tod corner of the nursery, +the eldest child said suddenly to her sister, in a low voice</p> +<p>“‘What do you think our aunt has <i>really</i> +done with the Tods?’</p> +<p>“A question which seemed not at all to surprise the +other, for she answered, in the same mysterious tone:—</p> +<p>“‘I don’t know, but I don’t think she +<i>could</i> burn them.’</p> +<p>“‘And I don’t, either,’ was the +rejoinder. ‘Perhaps she has only put them somewhere +where <i>we</i> cannot get at them.’</p> +<p>“The next idea came from the younger child:—</p> +<p>“‘Do you think she’ll ever let us have them +back again?’</p> +<p>“But the answer to this was a long shake of the head +from the wiser elder sister. And then they began to play +with Carlo again.</p> +<p>“But after that day they used often to exchange a few +words together on the subject, although only to the same +effect—their aunt <i>could</i> not have burnt them, they +felt sure. She never said she had burnt them. She +only said, ‘<i>You will never see the Tods any +more</i>.’</p> +<p>“Perhaps she had only put them by; perhaps she had put +them by in some comfortable place; perhaps they were in their +little basket in some closet, or corner of the house, quite as +snug as up in the nursery.</p> +<p>“And here the conversation would break off again. +As to asking any questions of their aunt, <i>that</i> was a thing +that never crossed their minds. It was impossible; the +subject was so fatally serious! . . . But I believe there was an +involuntary peeping about into closets and out-of-the-way places +whenever opportunity offered; yet no result followed, and the +Tods were not found.</p> +<p>“One night, two or three months later, and just before +the little things were moved back from London to their country +home; and when they were in bed in their sleeping room, as usual, +and the nurse had left them, and had shut the door between them +and the day nursery, where she sat at work, the elder child +called out in a whisper to the younger one:—</p> +<p>“‘Sister, are you asleep?’</p> +<p>“‘No. Why?’</p> +<p>“‘I’ll tell you of a place where the Tods +may be.’</p> +<p>“‘Where?’</p> +<p>“‘The cellar.’</p> +<p>“‘Do you think so?’</p> +<p>“‘Yes. I think we’ve looked everywhere +else. And I think perhaps it’s very nice down there +with bits of sawdust here and there on the ground. I saw +some on the bottle to-day, and it was quite soft. Aunt +would be quite sure we should never see them there. I dare +say it’s very snug indeed all among the barrels and empty +bottles in that cellar we once peeped into.’</p> +<p>“The younger child here began to laugh in delighted +amusement, but the elder one bade her ‘hush,’ or the +nurse would hear them; and then proceeded whispering as +before</p> +<p>“‘It’s a great big place, and they could +each have a house, and visit each other, and hide, and make +fun.’</p> +<p>“‘And I dare say Softy was put there first,’ +interposed the younger sister.</p> +<p>“‘Ay, and how pleased the others would be to find +him there! Only think!’</p> +<p>“And they <i>did</i> think. Poor little things, +they lay and thought of that meeting when ‘the +others’ were put in the cellar where ‘Softy’ +already was, ready to welcome them to his new home; and they +talked of all that might have happened on such an occasion, and +told each other that the Tods were much happier altogether there, +than if the others had remained in the nursery separated from +dear little Softy. In short, they talked till the door +opened, and the nurse, unsuspicious of the state of her young +charges, went to bed herself, and sleep fell on the whole +party.</p> +<p>“But a new world had now opened before them out of the +very midst of their sorrow itself. The fancy home of the +Tods was almost a more available source of amusement, than even +playing with the real things had been; and sometimes in the early +morning, sometimes for the precious half-hour at night, before +sleep overtook them, the little wits went to work with fresh +details and suppositions, and they related to each other, in +turns, the imaginary events of the day in the cellar among the +barrels. Each morning, when they went down-stairs, Carlo +was put in the Tod corner of the nursery and instructed to slip +away, as soon as he could manage it, to the Tods in the cellar, +and hear all that they had been about.</p> +<p>“And marvellous tales Mr. Carlo used to bring back, if +the children’s accounts to each other were to be +trusted. Such running about, to be sure, took place among +those barrels and empty bottles. Such playing at +bo-peep. Such visits of ‘Furry’ and his family +to ‘Buffy’ and <i>his</i> family, when the little +‘Furrys’ and ‘Buffys’ could not be kept +in order, but would go peeping into bungholes, and tumbling +nearly through, and having to be picked out by Carlo, drabbled +and chilled, but ready for a fresh frolic five minutes after!</p> +<p>“Such comical disputes, too, they had, as to how far the +grounds round each Tod’s house extended; such funny +adventures of getting into their neighbour’s corner instead +of their own, in the dim light that prevailed, and being mistaken +for a thief; when Carlo had to come and act as judge among them, +and make them kiss and be friends all round!</p> +<p>“Such dinners, too, Carlo brought them, as he passed +through the kitchen on his road to the cellar, and watched his +opportunity to carry off a few un-missed little bits for his +friends below. Dear me! his contrivances on that score were +endless, and the odd things he got hold of sometimes by mistake, +in his hurry, were enough to kill the Tods with laughing—to +say nothing of the children who were inventing the history!</p> +<p>“Then the care they took to save the little drops at the +bottom of the bottles, for Carlo, in return for all the trouble +he had, was most praiseworthy; and sometimes, when there was a +rather larger quantity than usual, they would have <i>such</i> a +feast!—and drink the healths of their dear little +mistresses in the nursery up-stairs.</p> +<p>“In short, it was as perfect a fancy as their love for +the Tods, and their ideas of enjoyment could make it. +Nothing uncomfortable, nothing sad, was ever heard of in that +cellar-home of their lost pets. No quarrelling, no crying, +no naughtiness, no unkindness, were supposed to trouble it. +Nothing was known of, there, but comfort and fun, and innocent +blunders and jokes, which ended in fun and comfort again. +One thing, therefore, you see, was established as certain +throughout the whole of the childish dream:—the departed +favourites were all perfectly happy, as happy as it was possible +to be; and they sent loving messages by Carlo to their old +friends to say so, and to beg them not to be sorry for +<i>them</i>, for, excepting that they would like some day to see +those old friends again, they had nothing left to wish for in +their new home:—</p> +<p>“And here the Tod story ends!” remarked Aunt Judy, +in conclusion, “and I beg you to observe, No. 6, that, like +all my stories, it ends happily. The children had now got +hold of an amusement which was safe from interference, and which +lasted—I am really afraid to say how long; for even after +the fervour of their Tod love had abated, they found an endless +source of invention and enjoyment in the cellar-home romance, and +told each other anecdotes about it, from time to time, for more, +I believe, than a year.”</p> +<p>When Aunt Judy paused here, as if expecting some remark, all +that No. 6 could say, was:—</p> +<p>“Poor little things!”</p> +<p>“Ay, they were still that,” exclaimed Aunt Judy, +“even in the midst of their new-found comfort. Oh, +No. 6, when one thinks of the strange way in which they first of +all created a sorrow for themselves, and then devised for +themselves its consolation, what a pity it seems that no good was +got out of it!”</p> +<p>It was not likely that No. 6 should guess what the good was +which Aunt Judy thought might have been got out of it; and so she +said; whereupon Aunt Judy explained:—</p> +<p>“Did it not offer a quite natural opportunity,—if +any kind friend had but known of it,—of speaking to those +children of some of the sacred hopes of our Christian +faith?—of leading them, through kind talk about their own +pretty fancies, to the subject of <i>what really becomes</i> of +the dear friends who are taken away from us by death?</p> +<p>“Had I been <i>their</i> Aunt Judy,” she +continued, “I should have thought it no cruelty, but +kindness then, to have spoken to them about their lost mother, +and told them that she was living now in a place where she was +much, much happier, than she had ever been before, and where one +of the very few things she had left to wish for, was, that one +day she might see them again: not in this world, where people are +so often uncomfortable and sad, but in that happy one where there +is no more sorrow, or crying, for God Himself wipes away the +tears from all eyes.</p> +<p>“I should have told them besides,” pursued Aunt +Judy, “that it would not please their dear mother at all +for them to fret for her, and <i>fancy they couldn’t do +without her</i>, and be discontented because God had taken her +away, and think it would have been much better for them if He had +not done so—(as if He did not know a thousand times better +than they could do:)—but that it would please her very much +for them to pray to God to make them good, so that they might all +meet together at last in that very happy place.</p> +<p>“In short, No. 6, I would have led them, if possible, to +make a comforting reality to themselves of the next world, as +they had already got a comforting fancy out of the cellar-dream +of the Tods. And that is the good, dear child, which I +meant might have been got out of the Tod adventure.”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy ceased, but there was no chance of seeing the effect +of what she had said on No. 6’s face, for it was laid on +her sister’s lap; probably to hide the tears which would +come into her eyes at Aunt Judy’s allusion to what she had +said about <i>her</i>.</p> +<p>At last a rather husky voice spoke:—</p> +<p>“You can’t expect people to like what is so very +sad, even if it is—what you call—right—and all +that.”</p> +<p>“No! neither does God expect it!” was Aunt +Judy’s earnest reply. “We are allowed to be +sorry when trials come, for we feel the suffering, and cannot at +present understand the blessing or necessity of it. But we +are not allowed to ‘sorrow without hope;’ and we are +not allowed, even when we are most sorry, to be rebellious, and +fancy we could choose better for ourselves than God chooses for +us.”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy’s lesson, as well as story, was ended now, and +she began talking over the entertaining part of the Tod history, +and then went on to other things, till No. 6 was quite herself +again, and wanted to know how much was true about the motherless +little girls; and when she found from Aunt Judy’s answer +that the account was by no means altogether an invention, she +went into a fever-fidget to know who the children were, and what +had become of them; and finally settled that the one thing in the +world she most wished for, was to see them.</p> +<p>Nor would she be persuaded that this was a foolish idea, until +Aunt Judy asked her how she would like to be introduced to a +couple of <i>very</i> old women, with huge hooked noses, and +beardy, nut-cracker chins, and be told that <i>those</i> were the +motherless little girls who had broken their hearts over +rabbits’ tails!—an inquiry which tickled No. +6’s fancy immensely, so that she began to laugh, and +suggest a few additions of her own to the comical picture, in the +course of doing which, she fortunately quite lost sight of the +“one thing” which a few minutes before she had +“most wished for in the world!”</p> +<h2><a name="page104"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +104</span>“OUT OF THE WAY”</h2> +<blockquote><p>“Oh wonderful Son that can so astonish a +Mother!”</p> +<p style="text-align: right"><span +class="smcap">Hamlet</span>.</p> +</blockquote> +<p>“<span class="smcap">What</span> a horrid nuisance you +are, No. 8, brushing everything down as you go by! Why +can’t you keep out of the way?”</p> +<p>“Oh, you mustn’t come here, No. 8. Aunt +Judy, look! he’s sitting on my doll’s best +cloak. Do tell him to go away.”</p> +<p>“I can’t have you bothering me, No. 8; don’t +you see how busy I am, packing? Get away somewhere +else.”</p> +<p>“You should squeeze yourself into less than nothing, and +be nowhere, No. 8.”</p> +<p>The suggestion, (uttered with a jocose grin,) came from a +small boy who had ensconced himself in the corner of a window, +where he was sitting on his heels, painting the Union Jack of a +ship in the <i>Illustrated London News</i>. He had +certainly acted on the advice he gave, as nearly as was +possible. Surely no little boy of his age ever got into so +small a compass before, or in a position more effectually out of +everybody’s possible way. The window corner led +nowhere, and there was nothing in it for anybody to want.</p> +<p>“No. 8, I never saw anything so tiresome as you +are. Why will you poke your nose in where you’re not +wanted? You’re always in the way.”</p> +<blockquote><p>“‘He poked his flat nose into every +place;’”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>sung, <i>sotto voce</i>, by the small boy in the window +corner.</p> +<p>No. 8 did not stop to dispute about it, though, in point of +fact, his nose was not flat, so at least in that respect he did +not resemble the duck in the song.</p> +<p>He had not, however, been successful in gaining the attention +of his friends down-stairs, so he dawdled off to make an +experiment in another quarter.</p> +<p>“Why, you’re not coming into the nursery now, +Master No. 8, surely! I can’t do with you fidgetting +about among all the clothes and packing. There isn’t +a minute to spare. You might keep out of the way till +I’ve finished.”</p> +<p>“Now, Master No. 8, you must be off. There’s +no time or room for you in the kitchen this morning. +There’s ever so many things to get ready yet. Run +away as fast as you can.”</p> +<p>“What <i>are</i> you doing in the passages, No. 8? +Don’t you see that you are in everybody’s way? +You had really better go to bed again.”</p> +<p>But the speaker hurried forward, and No. 8 betook himself to +the staircase, and sat down exactly in the middle of the middle +flight. And there be amused himself by peeping through the +banisters into the hall, where people were passing backwards and +forwards in a great fuss; or listening to the talking and noise +that were going on in the rooms above.</p> +<p>But be was not “out of the way” there, as he soon +learnt. Heavy steps were presently heard along the landing, +and heavy steps began to descend the stairs. Two men were +carrying down a heavy trunk.</p> +<p>“You’ll have to move, young gentleman, if you +please,” observed one; “you’re right in the way +just there!”</p> +<p>No. 8 descended with all possible speed, and arrived on the +mat at the bottom.</p> +<p>“There now, I told you, you were always in the +way,” was the greeting he received. “How stupid +it is! Try under the table, for pity’s +sake.”</p> +<p>Under the table! it was not a bad idea; moreover, it was a new +one—quite a fresh plan. No. 8 grinned and +obeyed. The hall table was no bad asylum, after all, for a +little boy who was always in the way everywhere else; besides, he +could see everything that was going on. No. 8 crept under, +and squatted himself on the cocoa-nut matting. He looked +up, and looked round, and felt rather as if he was in a tent, +only with a very substantial covering over his head.</p> +<p>Presently the dog passed by, and was soon coaxed to lie down +in the table retreat by the little boy’s side, and the two +amused themselves very nicely together. The fact was, the +family were going from home, and the least the little ones could +do during the troublesome preparation, was not to be troublesome +themselves; but this is sometimes rather a difficult thing for +little ones to accomplish. Nevertheless, No. 8 had +accomplished it at last.</p> +<p>“Capital, No. 8! you and the dog are quite a +picture. If I had time, I would make a sketch of +you.”</p> +<p>That was the remark of the first person who went by +afterwards, and No. 8 grinned as he heard it.</p> +<p>“Well done, No. 8! that’s the best contrivance I +ever saw!”</p> +<p>Remark the second, followed by a second grin.</p> +<p>“Why, you don’t mean to say that you’re +under the table, Master No. 8? Well you <i>are</i> a good +boy! I’m sure I’ll tell your mamma.”</p> +<p>Another grin.</p> +<p>“You dear old fellow, to put yourself so nicely out of +the way! You’re worth I don’t know +what.”</p> +<p>Grin again.</p> +<p>“Master No. 8 under the table, to be sure! Well, +and a very nice place it is, and quite suitable. Ever so +much better than the hot kitchen, when there’s baking and +all sorts of things going on. Here, lovey! here’s a +little cake that was spared, that I was taking to the parlour; +but, as you’re there, you shall have it.”</p> +<p>No. 8 grinned with all his heart this time.</p> +<p>“I wish I’d thought of that! Why, I could +have painted my ship there without being squeezed!”</p> +<p>It needs scarcely to be told that this was the observation of +the small boy who had watched an opportunity for emerging from +the window corner without fuss, and was now carrying his little +paint-box up-stairs to be packed away in the children’s +bag. As he spoke, he stooped down to look at No. 8 and the +dog, and smiled his approbation, and No. 8 smiled in return.</p> +<p>“No. 8, how snug you do look!”</p> +<p>Once more an answering grin.</p> +<p>“No. 8, you’re the best boy in the world; and if +you stay there till Nurse is ready for you, you shall have a +penny all to yourself.”</p> +<p>No. 8’s grin was accompanied by a significant nod this +time, to show that he accepted the bargain.</p> +<p>“My darling No. 8, you may come out now. There! +give me a kiss, and get dressed as fast as you can. The fly +will be here directly. You’re a very good boy +indeed.”</p> +<p>“No. 8, you’re the pattern boy of the family, and +I shall come with you in the fly, and tell you a story as we go +along for a reward.”</p> +<p>No. 8 liked both the praise, and the cake, and the penny, and +the kiss, and the promise of the rewarding story for going under +the table; but the why and wherefore of all these charming facts, +was a complete mystery to him. What did that matter, +however? He ran up-stairs, and got dressed, and was ready +before anyone else; and, by a miracle of good fortune, was on the +steps, and not in the middle of the carriage-drive, when the fly +arrived, which was to take one batch of the large family party to +the railway station.</p> +<p>No one was as fond of the fly conveyance as of the open +carriage; for, in the first place, it was usually very full and +stuffy; and, in the second, very little of the country could be +seen from the windows.</p> +<p>But, on the present occasion, Aunt Judy having offered her +services to accompany the fly detachment, there was a wonderful +alteration of sentiment, as to who should be included. Aunt +Judy, however, had her own ideas. The three little ones +belonged to the fly, as it were by ancient usage and custom, and +more than five it would not hold.</p> +<p>Five it would hold, however, and five accordingly got in, No. +4 having pleaded her own cause to be “thrown in:” and +at last, with nurses and luggage and No. 5 outside, away they +drove, leaving the open carriage and the rest to follow.</p> +<p>Nothing is perfect in this world. Those who had the airy +drive missed the story, and regretted it; but it was fair that +the pleasure should be divided.</p> +<p>And, after all, although the fly might be a little stuffy and +closely packed, and although it cost some trouble to settle down +without getting crushed, and make footstools of carpet bags, and +let down all the windows,—the commotion was soon over; and +it was a wonderful lull of peace and quietness, after the +confusion and worry of packing and running about, to sit even in +a rattling fly. And so for five minutes and more, all the +travellers felt it to be, and a soothing silence ensued; some +leaning back, others looking silently out at the retreating +landscape, or studying with earnestness the wonderful red plush +lining of the vehicle itself.</p> +<p>But presently, after the rest had lasted sufficiently long to +recruit all the spirits, No. 7 remarked, not speaking to anybody +in particular, “I thought Aunt Judy was going to tell us a +story.”</p> +<p>No. 7 was a great smiler in a quiet way, and he smiled now, as +he addressed his remark to the general contents of the fly.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy laughed, and inquired for whom the observation was +meant, adding her readiness to begin, if they would agree to sit +quiet and comfortable, without shuffling up and down, or +disputing about space and heat; and, these points being agreed +to, she began her story as follows:—</p> +<p>“There were once upon a time a man and his wife who had +an only son. They were Germans, I believe, for all the +funny things that happen, happen in Germany, as you know by +Grimm’s fairy tales.</p> +<p>“Well! this man, Franz, had been a watchmaker and mender +in an old-fashioned country town, and he had made such a +comfortable fortune by the business, that he was able to retire +before he grew very old; and so he bought a very pretty little +villa in the outskirts of the town, had a garden full of flowers +with a fountain in the middle, and enjoyed himself very much.</p> +<p>“His wife enjoyed herself too, but never so much as when +the neighbours, as they passed by, peeped over the palings, and +said, ‘What a pretty place! What lucky people the +watchmaker and his wife are! How they must enjoy +themselves!’</p> +<p>“On such occasions, Madame Franz would run to her +husband, crying out, ‘Come here, my dear, as fast as you +can! Come, and listen to the neighbours, saying, how we +must enjoy ourselves!’</p> +<p>“Franz was very apt to grunt when his wife summoned him +in this manner, and, at any rate, never would go as she +requested; but little Franz, the son, who was very like his +mother, and had got exactly her turn-up nose and sharp eyes, +would scamper forward in a moment to hear what the neighbours had +to say, and at the end would exclaim:—</p> +<p>“‘Isn’t it grand, mother, that everybody +should think that?’</p> +<p>“To which his mother would reply:—</p> +<p>“‘It is, Franz, dear! I’m so glad you +feel for your mother!’ and then the two would embrace each +other very affectionately several times, and Madame Franz would +go to her household business, rejoicing to think that, if her +husband did not quite sympathize with her, her son did.</p> +<p>“Young Franz had been somewhat spoilt in his childhood, +as only children generally are. As to his mother, from +there being no brothers and sisters to compare him with, she +thought such a boy had never been seen before; and she told old +Franz so, so often, that at last he began to believe it +too. And then they got all sorts of masters for him, to +teach him everything they could think of, and qualify him, as his +mother said, for some rich young lady to fall in love with. +That was her idea of the way in which he was one day to make his +fortune.</p> +<p>“At last, a time came when his mother thought the young +gentleman quite finished and complete; fit for anything and +anybody, and likely to create a sensation in the world. So +she begged old Franz to dismiss all his masters, and give him a +handsome allowance, that he might go off on his travels and make +his fortune, in the manner before mentioned.</p> +<p>“Old Mr. Franz shook his head at first, and called it +all a parcel of nonsense. Moreover, he declared that Master +Franz was a mere child yet, and would get into a hundred foolish +scrapes in less than a week; but mamma expressed her opinion so +positively, and repeated it so often, that at last papa began to +entertain it too, and gave his consent to the plan.</p> +<p>“The fact was, though I am sorry to say it, Mr. Franz +was henpecked. That is, his wife was always trying to make +him obey her, instead of obeying him, as she ought to have done; +and she had managed him so long, that she knew she could persuade +him, or talk him (which is much the same thing) into anything, +provided she went on long enough.</p> +<p>“So she went on about Franz going off on his travels +with a handsome allowance, till Papa Franz consented, and settled +an income upon him, which, if they had been selfish parents, they +would have said they could not afford; but, as it was, they +talked the matter over together, and told each other that it was +very little two old souls like themselves would want when their +gay son was away; and so they would draw in, and live quite +quietly, as they used to do in their early days before they grew +rich, and would let the lad have the money to spend upon his +amusements.</p> +<p>“Young Franz either didn’t know, or didn’t +choose to think about this. Clever as he was about many +things, he was not clever enough to take in the full value of the +sacrifices his parents were making for him; so he thanked them +lightly for the promised allowance, rattled the first payment +cheerfully into his purse, and smiled on papa and mamma with +almost condescending complacency. When he was equipped in +his best suit, and just ready for starting, his mother took him +aside.</p> +<p>“‘Franz, my dear,’ she said, ‘you know +how much money and pains have been spent on your education. +You can play, and dance, and sing, and talk, and make yourself +heard wherever you go. Now mind you do make yourself heard, +or who is to find out your merits? Don’t be shy and +downcast when you come among strangers. All you have to +think about, with your advantages, is to make yourself +agreeable. That’s the rule for you! Make +yourself agreeable wherever you go, and the wife and the fortune +will soon be at your feet. And, Franz,’ continued +she, laying hold of the button of his coat, ‘there is +something else. You know, I have often said that the one +only thing I could wish different about you is, that your nose +should not turn up quite so much. But you see, my darling +boy, we can’t alter our noses. Nevertheless, look +here! you can incline your head in such a manner as almost to +hide the little defect. See—this +way—there—let me put it as I mean—a little down +and on one side. It was the way I used to carry my head +before I married, or I doubt very much whether your father would +have looked my way. Think of this when you’re in +company. It’s a graceful attitude too, and you will +find it much admired.’</p> +<p>“Franz embraced his mother, and promised obedience to +all her commands; but he was glad when her lecture ended, for he +was not very fond of her remarks upon his nose. Just then +the door of his father’s room opened, and he called +out:—</p> +<p>“‘Franz, my dear, I want to speak to +you.’</p> +<p>“Franz entered the room, and ‘Now, my dear +boy,’ said papa, ‘before you go, let me give you one +word of parting advice; but stop, we will shut the door first, if +you please. That’s right. Well, now, look +here. I know that no pains or expense have been spared over +your education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and +talk, and make yourself heard wherever you go.’</p> +<p>“‘My dear sir,’ interrupted Franz, ‘I +don’t think you need trouble yourself to go on. My +mother has just been giving me the advice beforehand.’</p> +<p>“‘No, has she though?’ cried old Franz, +looking up in his son’s face; but then he shook his head, +and said:—</p> +<p>“‘No, she hasn’t, Franz; no, she +hasn’t; so listen to me. We’ve all made a fuss +about you, and praised whatever you’ve done, and +you’ve been a sort of idol and wonder among us. But, +now you’re going among strangers, you will find yourself +Mr. Nobody, and the great thing is, you must be contented to be +Mr. Nobody at first. Keep yourself in the background, till +people have found out your merits for themselves; and never get +into anybody’s way. Keep <i>out</i> of the way, in +fact, that’s the safest rule. It’s the secret +of life for a young man—How impatient you look! but mark my +words:—all you have to attend to, with your advantages, is, +to keep out of the way.’</p> +<p>“After this bit of advice, the father bestowed his +blessing on his dear Franz, and unlocked the door, close to which +they found Mrs. Franz, waiting rather impatiently till the +conference was over.</p> +<p>“‘What a time you have been, Franz!’ she +began; but there was no time to talk about it, for they all knew +that the coach, or post-wagon, as they call it in Germany, was +waiting.</p> +<p>“Mrs. Franz wrung her son’s hand.</p> +<p>“‘Remember what I’ve said, my dearest +Franz!’ she cried.</p> +<p>“‘Trust me!’ was Mr. Franz’s +significant reply.</p> +<p>“‘You’ll not forget my rule?’ +whispered papa.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"> +<a href="images/p104b.jpg"> +<img alt= +"Mr. Franz leaves home" +title= +"Mr. Franz leaves home" + src="images/p104s.jpg" /> +</a></p> +<p>“‘Forget, sir? no, that’s not +possible,’ answered Mr. Franz in a great hurry, as he ran +off to catch the post-wagon; for they could see it in the +distance beginning to move, though part of the young +gentleman’s luggage was on board.</p> +<p>“Well! he was just in time; but what do you think was +the next thing he did, after keeping the people waiting? A +sudden thought struck him, that it would be as well for the +driver and passengers to know how well educated he had been, so +he began to give the driver a few words of geographical +information about the roads they were going.</p> +<p>“‘Jump in directly, sir, if you please,’ was +the driver’s gruff reply.</p> +<p>“‘Certainly not, till I’ve made you +understand what I mean,’ says Master Franz, quite +facetiously. But, then, smack went the whip, and the horses +gave a jolt forwards, and over the tip of the learned young +gentleman’s foot went the front wheel.</p> +<p>“It was a nasty squeeze, though it might have been +worse, but Franz called out very angrily, something or other +about ‘disgraceful carelessness,’ on which the driver +smacked his whip again, and shouted:—</p> +<p>“‘Gentlemen that won’t keep out of the way, +must expect to have their toes trodden on.’ Everybody +laughed at this, but Franz was obliged to spring inside, without +taking any notice of the joke, as the coach was now really going +on; and if he had began to talk, he would have been left +behind.</p> +<p>“And now,” continued Aunt Judy, stopping herself, +“while Franz is jolting along to the capital town of the +country, you shall tell me whose advice you think he followed +when he got to the end of the journey, and began life for +himself—his father’s or his +mother’s?”</p> +<p>There was a universal cry, mixed with laughter, of “His +mother’s!”</p> +<p>“Quite right,” responded Aunt Judy. +“His mother’s, of course. It was far the most +agreeable, no doubt. Keeping out of the way is a rather +difficult thing for young folks to manage.”</p> +<p>A glance at No. 8 caused that young gentleman’s face to +grin all over, and Aunt Judy proceeded:—</p> +<p>“After his arrival at the great hotel of the town, he +found there was to be a public dinner there that evening, which +anybody might go to, who chose to pay for it; and this he thought +would be a capital opportunity for him to begin life: so, +accordingly, he went up-stairs to dress himself out in his very +best clothes for the occasion.</p> +<p>“And then it was that, as he sat in front of the glass, +looking at his own face, while he was brushing his hair and +whiskers, and brightening them up with bear’s-grease, he +began to think of his father and mother, and what they had said, +and what he had best do.</p> +<p>“‘An excellent, well-meaning couple, of course, +but as old-fashioned as the clocks they used to mend,’ was +his first thought. ‘As to papa, indeed, the poor old +gentleman thinks the world has stood still since he was a young +man, thirty years ago. His stiff notions were all very well +then, perhaps, but in these advanced times they are perfectly +quizzical. Keep out of the way, indeed! Why, any +ignoramus can do that, I should think! Well, well, he means +well, all the same, so one must not be severe. As to mamma +now—poor thing—though she <i>is</i> behindhand +herself in many ways, yet she <i>does</i> know a good thing when +she sees it, and that’s a great point. She can +appreciate the probable results of my very superior education and +appearance. To be sure, she’s a little silly over +that nose affair;—but women will always be silly about +something.’</p> +<p>“Nevertheless, at this point in his meditations, Master +Franz might have been seen inclining his head down on one side, +just as his mother had recommended, and then giving a look at the +mirror, to see whether the vile turn-up did really disappear in +that attitude. I suspect, however, that he did not feel +quite satisfied about it, for he got rather cross, and finished +his dressing in a great hurry, but not before he had settled that +there could be only one opinion as to whose advice he should be +guided by—dear mamma’s.</p> +<p>“‘Should it fail,’ concluded he to himself, +as he gave the last smile at the looking-glass, ‘there will +be poor papa’s old-world notion to fall back upon, after +all.’</p> +<p>“Now, you must know that Master Franz had never been at +one of these public dinners before, so there is no denying that +when he entered the large dining-hall, where there was a long +table, set out with plates, and which was filling fast with +people, not one of whom he knew, he felt a little confused. +But he repeated his mother’s words softly to himself, and +took courage: ‘<i>Don’t be shy and downcast when you +come among strangers</i>. <i>All you have to think +about</i>, <i>with your advantages</i>, <i>is to make yourself +agreeable</i>;’ and, on the strength of this, he passed by +the lower end of the table, where there were several unoccupied +places, and walked boldly forward to the upper end, where groups +of people were already seated, and were talking and laughing +together.</p> +<p>“In the midst of one of these groups, there was one +unoccupied seat, and in the one next to it sat a beautiful, +well-dressed young lady. ‘Why, this is the very +thing,’ thought Mr. Franz to himself. ‘Who +knows but what this is the young lady who is to make my +fortune?’</p> +<p>“There was a card, it is true, in the plate in front of +the vacant seat, but ‘as to that,’ thought Franz, +‘first come, first served, I suppose; I shall sit +down!’</p> +<p>“And sit down the young gentleman accordingly did in the +chair by the beautiful young lady, and even bowed and smiled to +her as he did so.</p> +<p>“But the next instant he was tapped on the shoulder by a +waiter.</p> +<p>“‘The place is engaged, sir!’ and the man +pointed to the card in the plate.</p> +<p>“‘Oh, if that’s all,’ was Mr. +Franz’s witty rejoinder, ‘here’s another to +match!’ and thereupon he drew one of his own cards from his +pocket, threw it into the plate, and handed the first one to the +astonished waiter, with the remark:—</p> +<p>“‘The place is engaged, my good friend, you +see!’</p> +<p>“The young goose actually thought this impudence clever, +and glanced across the table for applause as he spoke. But +although Mamma Watchmaker, if she had heard it, might have +thought it a piece of astonishing wit, the strangers at the +public table were quite of a different opinion, and there was a +general cry of ‘Turn him out!’</p> +<p>“‘Turn me out!’ shouted Mr. Franz, jumping +up from his chair, as if he intended to fight them all round; and +there is no knowing what more nonsense he might not have talked, +but that a very sonorous voice behind him called out,—a +hand laying hold of him by the shoulders at the same +time—</p> +<p>“‘Young man, I’ll trouble you to get out of +my chair, and’ (a little louder) ‘out of my way, +and’ (a little louder still) ‘to <i>keep</i> out of +my way!’</p> +<p>“Franz felt himself like a child in the grasp of the man +who spoke; and one glimpse he caught of a pair of coal-black +eyes, two frowning eye-brows, and a moustachioed mouth, nearly +frightened him out of his wits, and he was half way down the room +before he knew what was happening; for, after the baron let him +go, the waiter seized him and hustled him along, till he came to +the bottom of the table; where, however, there was now no room +for him, as all the vacant places had been filled up; so he was +pushed finally to a side-table in a corner, at which sat two men +in foreign dresses, not one word of whose language he could +understand.</p> +<p>“These two fellows talked incessantly together too, +which was all the more mortifying, because they gesticulated and +laughed as if at some capital joke. Franz was very quiet at +first, for the other adventure had sobered him, but presently, +with his mother’s advice running in his head, he resolved +to make himself agreeable, if possible.</p> +<p>“So, at the next burst of merriment, he affected to have +entered into the joke, threw himself back in his chair and +laughed as loudly as they did. The men stared for a second, +then frowned, and then one of them shouted something to him very +loudly, which he did not understand; so he placed his hand on his +heart, put on an expressive smile, and offered to shake +hands. Thought he, that will be irresistible! But he +was mistaken. The other man now called loudly to the +waiter, and a moment after, Franz found himself being conveyed by +the said waiter through the doorway into the hall, with the +remark resounding in his ears:—</p> +<p>“‘What a foolish young gentleman you must +be! Why can’t you keep out of people’s +way?’</p> +<p>“‘My good friend,’ cried Mr. Franz, +‘that’s not my plan at present. I’m +trying to make myself agreeable.’</p> +<p>“‘Oh—pooh!—bother agreeable,’ +cried the waiter. ‘What’s the use of making +yourself agreeable, if you’re always in the way? +Here!—step back, sir! don’t you see the tray +coming?’</p> +<p>“Franz had not noticed it, and would probably have got a +thump on the head from it, if his friend the waiter had not +pulled him back. The man was a real good-natured, smiling +German, and said:—</p> +<p>“‘Come, young gentleman, here’s a +candle;—you’ve a bed-room here, of course. Now, +you take my advice, and go to bed. You <i>will</i> be out +of the way there, and perhaps you’ll get up wiser +to-morrow.’</p> +<p>“Franz took the candlestick mechanically, but, said +he:—</p> +<p>“‘I understood there was to be dancing here +tonight, and I can dance, and—’</p> +<p>“‘Oh, pooh! bother dancing,’ interrupted the +waiter. ‘What’s the use of dancing, if +you’re to be in everybody’s way, and I know you will; +you can’t help it. Here, be advised for once, and go +to bed. I’ll bring you up some coffee before +long. Go quietly up now—mind. Good +night.’</p> +<p>“Two minutes afterwards, Mr. Franz found himself walking +up-stairs, as the waiter had ordered him to do, though he +muttered something about ‘officious fellow’ as he +went along.</p> +<p>“And positively he went to bed, as the officious fellow +recommended; and while he lay there waiting for the coffee, he +began wondering what <i>could</i> be the cause of the failure of +his attempts to make himself agreeable. Surely his mother +was right—surely there could be no doubt that, with his +advantages—but he did not go on with the sentence.</p> +<p>“Well, after puzzling for some time, a bright thought +struck him. It was entirely owing to that stupid nose +affair, which his mother was so silly about. Of course that +was it! He had done everything else she recommended, but he +could not keep his head down at the same time, so people saw the +snub! Well, he would practise the attitude now, at any +rate, till the coffee came!</p> +<p>“No sooner said than done. Out of bed jumped Mr. +Franz, and went groping about for the table to find matches to +light the candle. But, unluckily, he had forgotten how the +furniture stood, so he got to the door by a mistake, and went +stumbling up against it, just as the waiter with the coffee +opened it on the other side.</p> +<p>“There was a plunge, a shout, a shuffling of feet, and +then both were on the floor, as was also the hot coffee, which +scalded Franz’s bare legs terribly.</p> +<p>“The waiter got up first, and luckily it was the +‘officious fellow’ with the smiling face. And +said he:—</p> +<p>“‘What a miserable young man you must be, to be +sure! Why, you’re <i>never</i> out of the way, not +even when you’re gone to bed!’”</p> +<p>This last anecdote caused an uproar of delight in the fly, and +so much noise, that Aunt Judy had to call the party to order, and +talk about the horses being frightened, after which she +proceeded:—</p> +<p>“I am sorry to say Mr. Franz did not get up next morning +as much wiser as the waiter had expected, for he laid all the +blame of his misfortunes on his nose instead of his impertinence, +and never thought of correcting himself, and being less +intrusive.</p> +<p>“On the contrary, after practising holding his head down +for ten minutes before the glass, he went out to the day’s +amusements, as saucy and confident as ever.</p> +<p>“Now there is no time,” continued Aunt Judy, +“for my telling you all Mr. Franz’s funny scrapes and +adventures. When we get to the end of the journey, you must +invent some for yourselves, and sit together, and tell them in +turns, while we are busy unpacking. I will only just say, +that wherever he went, the same sort of things happened to him, +because he was always thrusting himself forward, and always +getting pushed back in consequence.</p> +<p>“Out of the public gardens he got fairly turned at last, +because he would talk politics to some strange gentlemen on a +bench. They got up and walked away, but, five minutes +afterwards, a very odd-looking man looked over Franz’s +shoulder, and said significantly, ‘I recommend you to leave +these gardens, sir, and walk elsewhere.’ And poor +Franz, who had heard of such things as prisons and dungeons for +political offenders, felt a cold shudder run through him, and +took himself off with all possible speed, not daring to look +behind him, for fear he should see that dreadful man at his +heels. Indeed, he never felt safe till he was in his +bed-room again, and had got the waiter to come and talk to +him.</p> +<p>“‘Dear me,’ said the waiter, ‘what a +very silly young gentleman you must be, to go talking away +without being asked!’</p> +<p>“‘But,’ said Franz, ‘you don’t +consider what a superior education I have had. I can talk +and make myself heard—’</p> +<p>“‘Oh, pooh! bother talking,’ interrupted the +waiter; ‘what’s the use of talking when nobody wants +to listen? Much better go to bed.’</p> +<p>“Franz would not give in yet, but was comforted to find +the waiter did not think he would be thrown into prisons and +dungeons; so he dined, and dressed, and went to the theatre to +console himself, where however he <i>made himself heard</i> so +effectually—first applauding, then hissing, and even +speaking his opinions to the people round him—that a set of +young college students combined together to get rid of him, and, +I am sorry to add, they made use of a little kicking as the +surest plan; and so, before half the play was over, Mr. Franz +found himself in the street!</p> +<p>“Now, then, I have told you enough of Mr. Franz’s +follies, except the one last adventure, which made him alter his +whole plan of proceeding.</p> +<p>“He had had two letters of introduction to take with +him: one to an old partner of his father’s, who had settled +in the capital some years before; another to some people of more +consequence, very distant family connections. And, of +course, Mr. Franz went there first, as there seemed a nice chance +of making his fortune among such great folks.</p> +<p>“And really the great folks would have been civil +enough, but that he soon spoilt everything by what <i>he</i> +called ‘making himself agreeable.’ He was too +polite, too affectionate, too talkative, too instructive, by +half! He assured the young ladies that he approved very +highly of their singing; trilled out a little song of his own, +unasked, at his first visit; fondled the pet lap-dog on his knee; +congratulated papa on looking wonderfully well for his age; asked +mamma if she had tried the last new spectacles; and, in short, +gave his opinions, and advice, and information, so freely, that +as soon as he was gone the whole party exclaimed:—</p> +<p>“‘What an impertinent jackanapes!’ a +jackanapes being nothing more nor less than a human monkey.</p> +<p>“This went on for some time, for he called very often, +being too stupid, in spite of his supposed cleverness, to take +the hints that were thrown out, that such repeated visits were +not wanted.</p> +<p>“At last, however, the family got desperate and one +morning when he arrived, (having teazed them the day before for a +couple of hours,) he saw nobody in the drawing-room when he was +ushered in.</p> +<p>“Never mind, thought he, they’ll be here directly +when they know <i>I’m</i> come! And having brought a +new song in his pocket, which he had been practising to sing to +them, he sat down to the piano, and began performing alone, +thinking how charmed they would be to hear such beautiful sounds +in the distance!</p> +<p>“But, in the middle of his song, he heard a discordant +shout, and jumping up, discovered the youngest little Missy hid +behind the curtain, and crying tremendously.</p> +<p>“Mr. Franz became quite theatrical. ‘Lovely +little pet, where are your sisters? Have they left my +darling to weep alone?’</p> +<p>“‘They shut the door before I could get +through,’ sobbed the lovely little pet; ‘and I +won’t be your darling a bit!’</p> +<p>“Mr. Franz laughed heartily, and said how clever she +was, took her on his knee, told her her sisters would be back +again directly, and finished his remark by a kiss.</p> +<p>“Unfortunate Mr. Franz! The young lady immediately +gave him an unmistakable box on the ear with her small fist, and +vociferated</p> +<p>“No, they won’t, they won’t, they +won’t! They’ll never come back till +you’re gone! They’ve gone away to get out of +<i>your</i> way, because you won’t keep out of +<i>theirs</i>. And you’re a forward puppy, papa says, +and can’t take a hint; and you’re always in +everybody’s way, and <i>I’ll</i> get out of your way, +too!’</p> +<p>“Here the little girl began to kick violently; but there +was no occasion. Mr. Franz set her down, and while she ran +off to her sisters, he rushed back to the hotel, and +double-locked himself into his room.</p> +<p>“After a time, however, he sent for his friend the +waiter, for he felt that a talk would do him good.</p> +<p>“But the ‘officious fellow’ shook his head +terribly.</p> +<p>“‘How many more times am I to tell you what a +foolish young gentleman you are?’ cried he. +‘Will you never get up wiser any morning of the +year?’</p> +<p>“‘I thought,’ murmured Franz, in broken, +almost sobbing accents—‘I thought—the young +ladies—would have been delighted—with—my +song;—you see—I’ve been—so well +taught—and I can sing—’</p> +<p>“‘Oh! pooh, pooh, pooh!’ interrupted the +waiter once more. ‘Bother singing and everything +else, if you’ve not been asked! Much better go to +bed!’</p> +<p>“Poor Franz! It was hard work to give in, and he +made a last effort.</p> +<p>“‘Don’t you think—after all—that +the prejudice—is owing to—what I told you +about:—people do so dislike a snub-nose?’</p> +<p>“‘Oh, pooh! bother a snub-nose,’ exclaimed +the waiter; ‘what will your nose signify, if you +don’t poke it in everybody’s way?’</p> +<p>“And with this conclusion Mr. Franz was obliged to be +content; and he ordered his dinner up-stairs, and prepared +himself for an evening of tears and repentance.</p> +<p>“But, before the waiter had been gone five minutes, he +returned with a letter in his hand.</p> +<p>“‘Now, here’s somebody asking something at +last,’ said he, for a servant had brought it.</p> +<p>“Franz trembled as he took it. It was sure to be +either a scolding or a summons to prison, he thought. But +no such thing: it was an invitation to dinner. Franz threw +it on the floor, and kicked it from him—he would go +nowhere—see nobody any more!</p> +<p>“The ‘officious fellow’ picked it up, and +read it. ‘Mr. Franz,’ said he, ‘you +mustn’t go to bed this time: you must go to this dinner +instead. It’s from your father’s old +partner—he wishes you had called, but as you haven’t +called, he asks you to dine. Now you’re wanted, Mr. +Franz, and must go.’</p> +<p>“‘I shall get into another mess,’ cried +Franz, despondingly.</p> +<p>“‘Oh, pooh! you’ve only to keep out of +everybody’s way, and all will be right,’ insisted the +waiter, as he left the room.</p> +<p>“‘Only to keep out of everybody’s way, and +all will be right,’ ejaculated Mr. Franz, as he looked at +his crest-fallen face in the glass. ‘It’s a +strange rule for getting on in life! However,’ +continued he, cheering up, ‘one plan has failed, and +it’s only fair to give the other a chance!’</p> +<p>“And all the rest of dressing-time, and afterwards as he +walked along the streets, he kept repeating his father’s +words softly to himself, which was at first a very difficult +thing to do, because he could not help mixing them up with his +mother’s. It was the funniest thing in the world to +hear him: ‘<i>All you have to attend to</i>, <i>with your +advantages is to</i>—<i>make yourself</i>—no, no! not +to make myself agreeable—<i>is to</i>—<i>keep out of +the way</i>!—that’s it!’ (with a sigh.)</p> +<p>“When Franz arrived at the house, he rang the bell so +gently, that he had to ring twice before he was heard; and then +they concluded it was some beggar, who was afraid of giving a +good pull.</p> +<p>“So, when he was ushered into the drawing-room, the old +partner came forward to meet him, took him by both hands, and, +after one look into his downcast face, said:—</p> +<p>“‘My dear Mr. Franz, you must put on a bolder +face, and ring a louder peal, next time you come to the house of +your father’s old friend!’</p> +<p>“Mr. Franz answered this warm greeting by a sickly +smile, and while he was being introduced to the family, kept +bowing on, thinking of nothing but how he was to keep out of +everybody’s way!’</p> +<p>“He was tempted every five minutes, of course, to break +out in his usual style, and could have found it in his heart to +chuck the whole party under the chin, and take all the talk to +himself. But he could be determined enough when he chose; +and having determined to give his father’s rule a fair +chance, he restrained himself to the utmost.</p> +<p>“So, not even the hearty reception of the old partner +and his wife, nor the smiling faces of either daughters or sons, +could lure him into opening out. ‘Yes’ and +‘No;’ ‘Do you think so?’ ‘I dare +say;’ ‘Perhaps;’ ‘No doubt you’re +right;’ and other such unmeaning little phrases were all he +would utter when they talked to him.</p> +<p>“‘How shy he is, poor fellow!’ thought the +ladies, and then they talked to him all the more. One tried +to amuse him with one subject, another with another. How +did he like the public gardens? Were they not very +pretty?—He scarcely knew. No doubt they were, if +<i>they</i> thought so. What did he think of the +theatre?—It was very hot when he was there. Had he +any friends in the town?—He couldn’t say +friends—he knew one or two people a little. And the +poor youth could hardly restrain a groan, as he answered each of +the questions.</p> +<p>“Then they chatted of books, and music, and dancing, and +pressed him hard to discover what he knew, and could do, and +liked best; and when it oozed out even from his short answers, +that he had read certain books in more than one language, and +could sing—just a little; and dance—just a little; +and do several other things—just a little, too, all sorts +of nods and winks passed through the family, and they +said:—</p> +<p>“‘Ah, when you know us better, and are not so shy +of us as strangers, we shall find out you are as clever again as +you pretend to be, dear Mr. Franz!’</p> +<p>“‘I’ll tell you what,’ added the old +partner, coming up at this moment, ‘it’s a perfect +treat to me, Mr. Franz, to have a young man like you in my +house! You’re your father over again, and I +can’t praise you more. He was the most modest, +unobtrusive man in all our town, and yet knew more of his +business than all of us put together.’</p> +<p>“‘No, no, I can’t allow that,’ cried +the motherly wife.</p> +<p>“‘Nonsense!’ replied the old partner. +‘However, my dear boy—for I really must call you +so—it was that very thing that made your father’s +fortune; I mean that he was just as unpretending as he was +clever. Everybody trusts an unpretending man. And +<i>you’ll</i> make your fortune too in the same manner, +trust me, before long. Now, boys!’ added he, turning +to his sons, ‘you hear what I say, and mind you take the +hint! As for the young puppies of the present day, who +fancy themselves fit to sit in the chair of their elders as soon +as ever they have learnt their alphabet, and are for thrusting +themselves forward in every company—Mr. Franz, I’ll +own it to you, because you will understand me—I have no +patience with such rude, impertinent Jackanapeses, and always +long to kick them down-stairs.’</p> +<p>“The old partner stood in front of Mr. Franz as he +spoke, and clenched his fist in animation. Mr. Franz sat on +thorns. He first went hot, and then he went cold—he +felt himself kicked down-stairs as he listened—he was ready +to cry—he was ready to fight—he was ready to run +away—he was ready to drop on his knees, and confess himself +the very most impertinent of all the impertinent +Jackanapes’ race.</p> +<p>“But he gulped, and swallowed, and shut his teeth close, +and nobody found him out; only he looked very pale, which the +good mother soon noticed, and said she to her husband:—</p> +<p>“‘My dear love, don’t you see how fagged and +weary it makes Mr. Franz look, to hear you raving on about a +parcel of silly lads with whom <i>he</i> has nothing in +common? You will frighten him out of his wits.’</p> +<p>“‘Mr. Franz will forgive me, I know,’ cried +the old partner, gently. ‘Jacintha, my dear, fetch +the wine and cake!’</p> +<p>“The kind, careful souls feared he was delicate, and +insisted on his having some refreshment; and then papa ordered +the young people to give their guest some music; and Franz sat by +while the sons and daughters went through a beautiful opera +chorus, which was so really charming, that Mr. Franz did forget +himself for a minute, clapped violently, and got half-way through +the word ‘encore’ in a very loud tone. But he +checked himself instantly, coloured, apologized for his rudeness, +and retreated further back from the piano.</p> +<p>“Of course, this new symptom of modesty was met by more +kindness, and followed by a sly hint from the merry Jacintha, +that Mr. Franz’s turn for singing had come now!</p> +<p>“Poor Mr. Franz! with the recollection of the +morning’s adventure on his mind, and his father’s +rule ringing in his ears, he felt singing to be out of the +question, so he declined. On which they entreated, +insisted, and would listen to no refusal. And Jacintha went +to him, and looked at him with her sweetest smile, and said, +‘But you know, Mr. Franz, you said you could sing a little; +and if it’s ever so little, you should sing <i>when +you’re asked</i>!’ and with that Miss Jacintha +offered him her hand, and led him to the piano.</p> +<p>“Franz was annoyed, though he ought to been pleased.</p> +<p>“‘But how <i>am</i> I to keep out of +people’s way,’ thought he to himself, ‘if they +will pull me forward? It’s the oddest thing I ever +knew. I can’t do right either way.’</p> +<p>“Then a thought struck him:—</p> +<p>“‘I have no music, Miss Jacintha,’ said he, +‘and I can’t sing without music;’ and he was +going back again to his chair in the corner.</p> +<p>“‘But we have all the new music,’ was her +answer, and she opened a portfolio at once. ‘See, +here’s the last new song!’ and she held one up before +the unfortunate youth, who at the sight of it coloured all over, +even to the tips of his ears. Whereupon Miss Jacintha, who +was watching him, laughed, and said she had felt sure he knew it; +and down she sat, and began to play the accompaniment, and in two +minutes afterwards Mr. Franz found himself—in spite of +himself, as it were—exhibiting in <i>the</i> song, the +fatal song of the morning’s adventure.</p> +<p>“It was a song of tender sentiment, and the +singer’s almost tremulous voice added to the effect, and a +warm clapping of hands greeted its conclusion.</p> +<p>“But by that time Mr. Franz was so completely exhausted +with the struggles of this first effort on the new plan, that he +began to wish them good-night, saying he would not intrude upon +them any longer.</p> +<p>“They would shake hands with him, though he tried to bow +himself off without; and the old partner followed him down-stairs +into the hall.</p> +<p>“‘Mr. Franz,’ said he, ‘we have been +delighted to make your acquaintance, but this has been only a +quiet family party. Now we know your <i>sort</i>, you must +come again, and meet our friends. Wife will fix the day, +and send you word; and don’t you be afraid, young +man! Mind you come, and put your best foot forward among us +all!’</p> +<p>“Franz was almost desperate. His conscience began +to reproach him. What! was he going to accept all this +kindness, like a rogue receiving money under false +pretences? He was shocked, and began to protest:—</p> +<p>“‘I assure you, dear sir, I don’t +deserve—You are quite under a mistake—I really am +not—the fact is, you think a great deal better of me +than—”</p> +<p>“‘Nonsense!’ shouted the old partner, +clapping him vigorously on the back. ‘Why, +you’re not going to teach me at my time of life, +surely? Not going to turn as conceited as that, after all, +eh? Come, come, Mr. Franz, no nonsense! And +to-morrow,’ he added, ‘I’ll send you letters of +introduction to some of my friends, who will show you the lions, +and make much of you. You will be well received wherever +you take them, first for my sake, and afterwards for your +own. There, there! I won’t hear a word! +No thanks—I hate them! Good night.’</p> +<p>“And the old partner fairly pushed Mr. Franz through the +door.</p> +<p>“‘Oh dear, oh dear!’ was the waiter’s +exclamation when Franz reached the hotel, and the light of the +lamp shone on his white, worn-out face. ‘Oh dear, oh +dear! I fear you’ve been a silly young gentleman over +again! What <i>have</i> you been doing this +time?’</p> +<p>“‘I’ve been trying to keep out of +everybody’s way all the evening,’ growled Mr. Franz, +‘and they would pull me forward, in spite of +myself.’</p> +<p>“‘No—really though?’ cried the waiter, +as if it were scarcely possible.</p> +<p>“‘Really,’ sighed poor Mr. Franz.</p> +<p>“‘Then do me the honour, sir,’ exclaimed the +waiter, with a sudden deference of manner; and taking the tips of +Franz’s fingers in his own, he bent over them with a +salute. ‘You’re a wise young gentleman now, +sir, and your fortune’s made. I’m glad +you’ve hit it at last!</p> +<p>“And Mr. Franz had hit it at last, indeed,” +continued Aunt Judy, “as appeared more plainly still by the +letters of introduction which reached him next morning. +They were left open, and were to this effect:—</p> +<p>“‘ . . . The bearer of this is the son of an old +friend. One of the most agreeable young men I ever +saw. As modest as he is well educated, and I can’t +say more. Procure him some amusement, that a little of his +shyness may be rubbed off; and forward his fortunes, my dear +friend, as far as you can . . . ’</p> +<p>“Franz handed one of these letters to his friend the +waiter, and the ‘officious fellow’ grinned from ear +to ear.</p> +<p>“‘There is only one more thing to fear,’ +observed he.</p> +<p>“‘And what?’ asked Franz.</p> +<p>“‘Why, that now you’re comfortable, my dear +young gentleman, your head should be turned, and you should begin +to make yourself agreeable again, and spoil all.’</p> +<p>“‘Oh, pooh! bother agreeable; <i>I</i> say now, as +you did,’ cried Franz, laughing. ‘No, no, my +good friend, I’m not going to make myself agreeable any +more. I know better than that at last!’</p> +<p>“‘Then your fortune’s safe as well as +made!’ was the waiter’s last remark, as he was about +to withdraw: but Franz followed him to the door.</p> +<p>“‘I found out a rather curious thing this evening, +do you know!’</p> +<p>“‘And that was?—’ inquired his humble +friend.</p> +<p>“‘Why, that I was sitting all the time in that +very attitude my mother recommended—with my head a little +down, you know—so that I really don’t think they +noticed my snub.’</p> +<p>“The waiter got as far as, ‘Oh, pooh!’ but +Franz was nervous, and interrupted him.</p> +<p>“‘Yes—yes! I don’t believe +there’s anything in it myself; but it will be a comfort to +my mother to think it was her advice that made my fortune, which +she will do when I tell her that!’</p> +<p>“‘Ah!—the ladies will be romantic now and +then!’ exclaimed the waiter, with a flourish of his hand, +‘and you must trim the comfort to a person’s +taste.’</p> +<p>“And in due time,” pursued Aunt Judy, “that +was exactly what Mr. Franz did. Strictly adhering to his +father’s rule, and encouraged by its capital success that +first night, he got so out of the habit of being pert, and +foolish, and inconsiderate, that he ended by never having any +wish to be so; so that he really became what the old partner had +imagined him to be at first. It was a great restraint for +some time, but his modest manners fitted him at last as easy as +an old shoe, and he was welcome at every house, because he was +<i>never in the way</i>, and always knew when to retire!</p> +<p>“It was a jovial day for Papa and Mamma’s +Watchmaker when, two years afterwards, Mr. Franz returned home, a +partner in the old partner’s prosperous business, and with +the smiling Jacintha for his bride.</p> +<p>“And then, in telling his mother of that first evening +of his good fortune, he did not forget to mention that he had +hung down his head all the time, as she had advised; and, just as +he expected, she jumped up in the most extravagant delight.</p> +<p>“‘I knew how it would be all along!’ cried +she; ‘I told you so! I knew if you could only hide +that terrible snub all would be well; and I’m sure our +pretty Jacintha wouldn’t have looked your way if you +hadn’t! See, now! you have to thank your mother for +it all!’</p> +<p>“Franz was quite happy himself, so he smiled, and let +his mother be happy her way too; but he opened his heart of +hearts to poor old-fashioned papa, and told him—well, in +fact, all his follies and mistakes, and their cure. And if +mamma was happy in her bit of comfort, papa was not less so in +his, for there is not a more delightful thing in the world than +for father and son to understand each other as friends; and old +Franz would sometimes walk up and down in his room, listening to +the cheerful young voices up-stairs, and say to himself, that if +Mother Franz—good soul as she was—did not always +quite enter into his feelings, it was his comfort to be blessed +with a son who did!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center">* * *</p> +<p>What a long story it had been! Aunt Judy was actually +tired out when she got to the end, and could not talk about it, +but the little ones did till they arrived at the station, and had +to get out.</p> +<p>And in the evening, when they were all sitting together before +they went to bed, there was no small discussion about the story +of Mr. Franz, and how people were to know what was really good +manners—when to come forward, and when to hold +back—and the children were a little startled at first, when +their mother told them that the best rules for good manners were +to be found in the Bible.</p> +<p>But when she reminded them of that text, “When thou art +bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room,” &c. they +saw in those words a very serious reason for not pushing forward +into the best place in company. And when they recollected +that every man was to do to others as he wished others to do to +him, it became clear to them that it was the duty of all people +to study their neighbours’ comfort and pleasure as well as +their own; and it was no hard matter to show how this rule +applied to all the little ins and outs of every-day life, whether +at home, or in society. And there were plenty of other +texts, ordering deference to elders, and the modesty which arises +out of that humility of spirit which “vaunteth not +itself,” and “is not puffed up.” There +was, moreover, the comfortable promise, that “the +meek” should “inherit the earth.”</p> +<p>Of course, it was difficult to the little ones, just at first, +to see how such very serious words could apply to anybody’s +manners, and especially to their own.</p> +<p>But it was a difficulty which mamma, with a little +explanation, got over very easily; and before the little ones +went to bed, they quite understood that in restraining themselves +from teazing and being troublesome, they were not only not being +“tiresome,” but were actually obeying several Gospel +rules.</p> +<h2><a name="page141"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +141</span>“NOTHING TO DO.”</h2> +<blockquote><p>“Had I a little son, I would christen him +<span class="smcap">Nothing-to-do</span>.”</p> +<p style="text-align: right"><span class="smcap">Charles +Lamb</span>.</p> +</blockquote> +<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is a complaint which is not +to be found in the doctor’s books, but which is, +nevertheless, such a common and troublesome one, that one +heartily wishes some physic could be discovered which would cure +it.</p> +<p>It may be called the <i>nothing-to-do</i> complaint.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"> +<a href="images/p141b.jpg"> +<img alt= +"Nothing to do" +title= +"Nothing to do" + src="images/p141s.jpg" /> +</a></p> +<p>Even quite little children are subject to it, but they never +have it badly. Parents and nurses have only to give them +something to do, or tell them of something to do, and the thing +is put right. A puzzle or a picture-book relieves the +attack at once.</p> +<p>But after the children have out-grown puzzles, and +picture-books, and nurses, and when even a parent’s advice +is received with a little impatience, then the +<i>nothing-to-do</i> complaint, if it seizes them at all, is a +serious disease, and often very difficult to cure; and, if not +cured, alas! then follows the melancholy spectacle of grown-up +men and women, who are a plague to their friends, and a weariness +to themselves; because, living under the notion that there is +<i>nothing</i> for them <i>to do</i>, they want everybody else to +do something to amuse them.</p> +<p>Anyone can laugh at the old story of the gentleman who got +into such a fanciful state of mind—hypochondriacal, it is +called—that he thought he was his own umbrella; and so, on +coming in from a walk, would go and lay <i>it</i> in the +easy-chair by the fire, while he himself went and leant up +against the wall in a corner of the hall.</p> +<p>But this gentleman was not a bit more fanciful and absurd than +the people, whether young or old, who look out of windows on +rainy days and groan because there is <i>nothing to do</i>; when, +in reality, there is so much for everybody to do, that most +people leave half their share undone.</p> +<p>The oddest part of the complaint is, that it generally comes +on worst in those who from being comfortably off in the world, +and from having had a great deal of education, have such a +variety of things to do, that one would fancy they could never be +at a loss for a choice.</p> +<p>But these are the very people who are most afflicted. It +is always the young people who have books, and leisure, and +music, and drawing, and gardens, and pleasure-grounds, and +villagers to be kind to, who lounge to the rain-bespattered +windows on a dull morning, and groan because there is <i>nothing +to do</i>.</p> +<p>In justice to girls in general, it should be here mentioned, +that they are on the whole less liable to the complaint than the +young lords of the creation, who are supposed to be their +superiors in sense. Philosophers may excuse this as they +please, but the fact remains, that there are few large families +in England, whose sisterhoods have not at times been teazed half +out of their wits, by the growlings of its young gentlemen, +during paroxysms of the <i>nothing-to-do</i> complaint; growling +being one of its most characteristic symptoms.</p> +<p>Perhaps among all the suffering sisterhoods it would have been +difficult to find a young lady less liable to catch such a +disorder herself, than Aunt Judy; and perhaps that was the reason +why she used to do such tremendous battle with No. 3, whenever, +after his return from school for the holidays, he happened to +have an attack.</p> +<p>“What are you groaning at through the window, No. +3?” she inquired on one such occasion; “is it +raining?”</p> +<p>A very gruff-sounding “No,” was the +answer—No. 3 not condescending to turn round as he +spoke. He proceeded, however, to state that it had rained +when he got up, and he supposed it would rain again as a +matter-of-course, (for his especial annoyance being implied,) and +he concluded:—</p> +<p>“It’s so horribly ‘slow’ here, with +nothing to do.”</p> +<p>No. 6, who was sitting opposite Aunt Judy, doing a French +exercise, here looked up at her sister, and perceiving a smile +steal over her face, took upon herself to think her +brother’s remark very ridiculous, so, said she, with a +saucy giggle:—</p> +<p>“I can find you plenty to do, No. 3, in a minute. +Come and write my French exercise for me.</p> +<p>No. 3 turned sharply round at this, with a frown on his face +which by no means added to its beauty, and called out:—</p> +<p>“Now, Miss Pert, I recommend you to hold your +tongue. I don’t want any advice from a conceited +little minx like you.”</p> +<p>Miss Pert was extinguished at once, and set to work at the +French exercise again most industriously, and a general silence +ensued.</p> +<p>But people in the nothing-to-do complaint are never quiet for +long. Teazing is quite as constant a symptom of it, as +growling, so No. 3 soon came lounging from the window to the +table, and began:—</p> +<p>“I say, Judy, I wish you would put those tiresome books, +and drawings, and rubbish away, and I think of something to +do.”</p> +<p>“But it’s the books, and the drawings, and the +rubbish that give me something to do,” cried Aunt +Judy. “You surely don’t expect me to give them +up, and go arm and arm with you round the house, bemoaning the +slowness of our fate which gives us nothing to do. Or shall +we? Come, I don’t care; I will if you like. But +which shall we complain to first, mamma, or the maids?”</p> +<p>While she was saying this, Aunt Judy shut up her drawing book, +jumped up from her chair, drew No. 3’s arm under her own, +and repeated:—</p> +<p>“Come! which? mamma, or the maids?” while Miss +Pert opposite was labouring with all her might to smother the +laugh she dared not indulge in.</p> +<p>But No. 3 pushed Aunt Judy testily away.</p> +<p>“‘Nonsense, Judy! what has that to do with +it? It’s all very well for you girls—now, Miss +Pert, mind your own affairs, and don’t stare at +me!—to amuse yourself with all manner of—”</p> +<p>“Follies, of course,” cried Aunt Judy, laughing, +“don’t be afraid of speaking out, No. 3. +It’s all very well for us girls to amuse ourselves with all +manner of follies, and nonsense, and rubbish;” here Aunt +Judy chucked the drawing-book to the end of the table, tossed a +dictionary after it, and threw another book or two into the air, +catching them as they came down.</p> +<p>“—while you, superior, sensible young man that you +are, born to be the comfort of your family—”</p> +<p>“Be quiet!” interrupted No. 3, trying to stop her; +but she ran round the table and proceeded:—</p> +<p>“—and the enlightener of mankind; +can’t—no, no, No. 3, I won’t be +stopt!—can’t amuse yourself with anything, because +everything is so ‘horribly slow, there’s nothing to +do,’ so you want to tie yourself to your foolish +sister’s apron string.”</p> +<p>“It’s too bad!” shouted No. 3; and a race +round the table began between them, but Aunt Judy dodged far too +cleverly to be caught, so it ended in their resting at opposite +ends; No. 6 and her French exercises lying between them.</p> +<p>“No. 6, my dear,” cried Aunt Judy, in the lull of +exertion, “I proclaim a holiday from folly and +rubbish. Put your books away, and put your impertinence +away too. Hold your tongue, and don’t be Miss Pest; +and vanish as soon as you can.”</p> +<p>Miss Pert performed two or three putting-away evolutions with +the velocity of a sunbeam, and darted off through the door.</p> +<p>“Now, then, we’ll be reasonable,” observed +Aunt Judy; and carrying a chair to the front of the fire she sat +down, and motioned to No. 3 to do the same, taking out from her +pocket a little bit of embroidery work, which she kept ready for +chatting hours.</p> +<p>No. 3 was always willing to listen to Aunt Judy.</p> +<p>He desired nothing better than to get her undivided attention, +and pour out his groans in her ear; so he sat down with a very +good grace, and proceeded to insist that there never was anything +so “slow” as “it was.”</p> +<p>Aunt Judy wanted to know what <i>it</i> was; the place or the +people, (including herself,) or what?</p> +<p>No. 3 could explain it no other way than by declaring that +<i>everything</i> was slow; there was nothing to do.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy maintained that there was plenty to do.</p> +<p>Whereupon No. 3 said:—</p> +<p>“But nothing <i>worth</i> doing.”</p> +<p>Whereupon Aunt Judy told No. 3 that he was just like Dr. +Faustus. On which, of course, No. 3 wanted to know what Dr. +Faustus was like, and Aunt Judy answered, that he was just like +<i>him</i>, only a great deal older and very learned.</p> +<p>“Only quite different, then,” suggested No. 3.</p> +<p>“No,” said Aunt Judy, “not <i>quite</i> +different, for he came one day to the same conclusion that you +have done, namely, that there was nothing to do, worth doing in +the world.”</p> +<p>“<i>I</i> don’t say the world, I only say +here,” observed No. 3; “there’s plenty to do +elsewhere, I dare say.”</p> +<p>“So you think, because you have not tried else +where,” answered Aunt Judy. “But Dr. Faustus, +who had tried elsewhere, thought everywhere alike, and declared +there was nothing worth doing anywhere, although he had studied +law, physic, divinity, and philosophy all through, and knew +pretty nearly everything.”</p> +<p>“Then you see he did not get much good out of +learning,” remarked No. 3.</p> +<p>“I do see,” was the reply.</p> +<p>“And what became of him?”</p> +<p>“Ah, that’s the point,” replied Aunt Judy, +“and a very remarkable point too. As soon as he got +into the state of fancying there was nothing to do, worth doing, +in God’s world, the evil spirit came to him, and found him +something to do in what I may, I am sure, call the devil’s +world—I mean, wickedness.”</p> +<p>“Oh, that’s a story written upon Watts’s old +hymn,” exclaimed No. 3, contemptuously:—</p> +<blockquote><p>“‘For Satan finds some mischief +still,<br /> +For idle hands to do.’</p> +</blockquote> +<p>Judy! I call that a regular +‘<i>sell</i>.’”</p> +<p>“Not a bit of it,” cried Aunt Judy, warmly; +“I don’t suppose the man who wrote the story ever saw +Watts’s hymns, or intended to teach anything half as +good. It’s mamma’s moral. She told me she +had screwed it out of the story, though she doubted whether it +was meant to be there.”</p> +<p>“And what’s the rest of the story then?” +inquired No. 3, whose curiosity was aroused.</p> +<p>“Well! when the old Doctor found the world as it was, so +‘<i>slow</i>,’ as you very unmeaningly call it, he +took to conjuring and talking with evil spirits by way of +amusement; and then they easily persuaded him to be wicked, +merely because it gave him something fresh and exciting to +do.”</p> +<p>“Watts’s hymn again! I told you so!” +exclaimed No. 3. “But the story’s all nonsense +from beginning to end. Nobody can conjure, or talk to evil +spirits in reality, so the whole thing is impossible; and where +you find the moral, I don’t know.”</p> +<p>No. 3 leant back and yawned as he concluded.</p> +<p>He was rather disappointed that nothing more entertaining had +come out of the story of Dr. Faustus.</p> +<p>But Aunt Judy had by no means done.</p> +<p>“Impossible about conjuring and actually <i>talking</i> +to evil spirits, certainly,” said she; “but spiritual +influences, both bad and good, come to us all, No. 3, without +bodily communion; so for those who are inclined to feel like Dr. +Faustus, there is both a moral and a warning in his +fate.”</p> +<p>“I don’t know what about,” cried No. +3. “I think he was uncommonly stupid, after all he +had learnt, to get into such a mess. Why, you yourself are +always trying to make out that the more people labour and learn, +the more sure they are to keep out of mischief. Now then, +how do you account for the story of your friend Dr. +Faustus?”</p> +<p>“Because, like King Solomon, he did not labour and learn +in a right spirit, or to a right end,” replied Aunt +Judy. “Lord Bacon remarks that when, after the +Creation, God ‘looked upon everything He had made, behold +it was <i>very good</i>;’ whereas when man ‘turned +him about,’ and took a view of the world and his own +labours in it, he found that ‘all’ was ‘vanity +and vexation of spirit.’ Why did he come to such a +different conclusion, do you think?”</p> +<p>“I suppose because the world had got bad, before King +Solomon’s time,” suggested No. 3.</p> +<p>“Its inhabitants had,” replied Aunt Judy. +“They had become subject to sin and misery; but the world +was still God’s creation, and proofs of the ‘very +good’ which He had pronounced over it were to be found in +every direction, and even in fallen man, if Solomon had had the +sense, or rather I should say, good feeling to look for +them. Ah! No. 3, there was plenty to be learnt and +done that would <i>not</i> have ended in ‘vanity and +vexation of spirit’ if Solomon had <i>learnt</i> in order +to trace out the glory of God, instead of establishing his own; +and if he had <i>worked</i> to create, as far as was in his +power, a world of happiness for other people, instead of seeking +nothing but his own amusement. If he had worked in the +spirit of God, in short.”</p> +<p>“But who can?—Nobody,” exclaimed No. 3.</p> +<p>“Yes, everybody, who tries, can, to a certain +extent,” said Aunt Judy. “It only wants the +right feeling; some of the good God-like feeling which originated +the creation of a beautiful world, and caused the contemplation +of it to produce the sublime complacency which is described, +‘And God looked upon everything that He had made, and +behold it was very good.’”</p> +<p>“It’s a sermon, Judy,” cried No. 3, half +bored, yet half amused at the notion of her preaching; +“I’ll set up a pulpit for you at once, shall +I?”</p> +<p>“No, no, be quiet, No. 3,” exclaimed Aunt Judy, +“I wish you would try and understand what I say!”</p> +<p>“Well, then,” said No. 3, “it appears to me +that do what one might now the world has grown bad, it would be +impossible to pronounce that ‘<i>very good</i>,’ as +the result of one’s work. There would always be +something miserable and unsatisfactory at the end of everything; +I mean even if one really was to look into things closely, and +work for other people’s good, as you say.”</p> +<p>“There might be <i>something</i> miserable and +unsatisfactory, in the result, certainly,” answered Aunt +Judy; “but that it would <i>all</i> be ‘vanity and +vexation of spirit’ I deny. Our blessed Saviour came +into the world after it had grown bad, remember; and He worked +solely for the restoration of the ‘very good,’ which +sin had defaced. It was undoubtedly <i>miserable</i> and +<i>unsatisfactory</i> that He should be rejected by the very +creatures He came to help; but when He uttered the words +‘It is finished,’ the work which He had accomplished, +He might well have looked upon and called very good: very very +good; even beyond the creation, were that possible.”</p> +<p>“There can be no comparison between our Saviour and +us,” murmured No. 3.</p> +<p>“No,” replied his sister; “but only let +people work in the same direction, and they will have more +‘profit’ of their ‘labour,’ than King +Solomon ever owned to, who had, one fears, only learnt, in order +to be learned, and worked, to please himself. No man who +employs himself in tracing out God’s footsteps <i>in</i> +the world, or in working in God’s spirit <i>for</i> the +world, will ever find such labours end in ‘vanity and +vexation of spirit!’ Solomon, Dr. Faustus, and the +grumblers, have only themselves to thank for their +disappointment.”</p> +<p>“It’s very curious,” observed No. 3, getting +up, and stretching himself over the fire, “I mean about +Solomon and Dr. Faustus. But what can one do? What +can you or I do? It’s absurd to be fancying one can +do good to one’s fellow-creatures.”</p> +<p>“Nevertheless, there is one I want you to do good to, at +the present moment,” said Aunt Judy—“if it is +not actually raining. Don’t you remember what despair +No. 1 was in this morning, when father sent her off on the pony +in such a hurry.”</p> +<p>“Ah, that pony! That was just what I wanted +myself,” interrupted No. 3.</p> +<p>“Exactly, of course,” replied Aunt Judy. +“But you were not the messenger father wanted, so do not +let us go all over that ground again, pray. The fact was, +No. 1 had just heard that her pet ‘Tawny Rachel’ was +very ill, and she wanted to go and see her, and give her some +good advice, and I am to go instead. Now No. 3, suppose you +go instead of me, and save me a wet walk?”</p> +<p>No. 3, of course, began by protesting that it was not possible +that he could do any good to an old woman. Old women were +not at all in his way. He could only say, how do you do? +and come away.</p> +<p>Aunt Judy disputed this: she thought he could offer her some +creature comforts, and ask whether she had seen the Doctor, and +what he said, as No. 1 particularly wished to know.</p> +<p>What an idea! No, no; he must decline inquiring what the +Doctor said; it would be absurd; but he could offer her something +to eat.</p> +<p>—And just ask if she had had the Doctor.—Well, +just that, and come away. It would not occupy many +minutes. But he wished, while Aunt Judy was about it, she +had found him something rather <i>longer</i> to do!</p> +<p>Aunt Judy promised to see what could be devised on his return, +and No. 3 departed. And a very happily chosen errand it +was; for it happened in this case, as it so constantly does +happen, that what was begun for other people’s sake, ended +in personal gratification. No. 3 went to see “Tawny +Rachel,” out of good-natured compliance with Aunt +Judy’s request, but found an interest and amusement in the +visit itself, which he had not in the least expected.</p> +<p>Ten, twenty, thirty, minutes elapsed, and he had not returned; +and when he did so at last, he burst into the house far more like +an avalanche than a young gentleman who could find “nothing +to do.”</p> +<p>Coming in the back way, he ran into the kitchen, and told the +servants to get some hot water ready directly, for he was sure +something would be wanted. Then, passing forward, he +shouted to know where his mother was, and, having found her, +entreated she would order some comfortable, gruelly stuff or +other, to be made for the sick old woman, particularly insisting +that it should have ale or wine, as well as spice and sugar in +it.</p> +<p>He was positive that that was just what she ought to +have! She had said how cold she was, and how glad she +should be of something to warm her inside; and there was nobody +to do anything for her at home. What a shame it was for a +poor old creature like that to be left with only two dirty boys +to look after her, and they always at play in the street! +Her daughter and husband were working out, and she sat moaning +over the fire, from pain, without anybody to care!</p> +<p style="text-align: center">* * *</p> +<p>Tender-hearted and impulsive, if thoughtless, the spirit of +No. 3 had been moved within him at the spectacle of the gaunt old +woman in this hour of her lonely suffering.</p> +<p>Poor “Tawny Rachel!” The children had called +her so, from the heroine of Mrs. Hannah More’s tale, +because of those dark gipsy eyes of hers, which had formerly +given such a fine expression to her handsome but melancholy +face. Melancholy, because care-worn from the long +life’s struggle for daily bread, for a large indulged +family, who scarcely knew, at the day of her death, that she had +worn herself out for their sakes.</p> +<p>Poor “Tawny Rachel!” She was one day asked +by a well-meaning shopkeeper, of whom she had purchased a few +goods, <i>where she thought she was going to</i>?</p> +<p>“Tawny Rachel” turned her sad eyes upon her +interrogator, and made answer:—</p> +<p>“Going to? why where do you think I’m going to, +but to Heaven?—‘Deed! where do you think I’m +going to, but to Heaven?” she repeated to herself slowly, +as if to recover breath; and then added, “I should like to +know who Heaven is for, if not for such as me, that have slaved +all their lives through, for other folk;” and so saying, +Tawny Rachel turned round again, and went away.</p> +<p>Poor “Tawny Rachel!” The theology was +imperfect enough; but so had been her education and +advantages. Yet as surely as her scrupulous, never-failing +honesty, and unmurmuring self-denial, must have been inspired by +something beyond human teaching; so surely did it prove no +difficult task to her spiritual guide, to lead her onwards to +those simple verities of the Christian Faith, which, in her case, +seemed to solve the riddle of a weary, unsatisfactory life, and, +confiding in which, the approach of death really became to her, +the advent of the Prince of Peace.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">* * *</p> +<p>“But she had quite cheered up,” remarked No. 3, +“at the notion of something comforting and good,” and +so—he had “come off at once.”</p> +<p>“At once!”—the exclamation came from Aunt +Judy, who had entered the room, and was listening to the +account. “Why, No. 3, you must have been there an +hour at least. And nevertheless I dare say you have +forgotten about the Doctor.”</p> +<p>“The Doctor!” cried No. 3, +laughing,—“It’s the Doctor who has kept me all +this time. You never heard such fun in your +life,—only he’s an awful old rascal, I must +say!”</p> +<p>Mamma and Aunt Judy gazed at No. 3 in bewilderment. The +respectable old village practitioner, who had superintended all +the deceases in the place for nearly half a century—to be +called “an awful old rascal” at last! What +could No. 3 be thinking of?</p> +<p>Certainly not of the respectable village practitioner, as he +soon explained, by describing the arrival at Tawny Rachel’s +cottage of a travelling quack with a long white beard.</p> +<p>“My dear No. 3!” exclaimed mamma.</p> +<p>“Mother, dear, I can’t help it!” cried No. +3, and proceeded to relate that while he was sitting with the old +woman, listening to the account of her aches and pains, some one +looked in at the door, and asked if she wanted anything; but, +before she could speak, remarked how ill she seemed, and said he +could give her something to do her good. +“Judy!” added No. 3, breaking suddenly off; “he +looked just like Dr. Faustus, I’m sure!”</p> +<p>“Never mind about that,” cried Aunt Judy. +“Tell us what Tawny Rachel said.”</p> +<p>“Oh, she called out that he <i>must give</i> it, if she +was to have it, for she had nothing to pay for it with. I +had a shilling in my pocket, and was just going to offer it, when +I recollected he would most likely do her more harm than +good. But the gentleman with the white beard walked in +immediately, set his pack down on the table, and said, +‘Then, my good woman, I <i>shall</i> give it you;’ +and out he brought a bottle, tasted it before he gave it to her, +and promised her that it would cure her if she took it +all.”</p> +<p>“My dear No. 3!” repeated mamma once more.</p> +<p>“Yes, I know she can’t be cured, mother, and I +think she knows it too; but still she ‘<i>took it very +kind</i>,’ as she called it, of him, and asked him if he +would like to ‘rest him’ a bit by the fire, and the +gentleman accepted the invitation; and there we all three sat, +for really I quite enjoyed seeing him, and he began to warm his +hands, remarking that the young gentleman—that was I, you +know—looked very well. Oh, Judy, I very nearly said +‘Thank you, Dr. Faustus,’ but I only laughed and +nodded, and really did hold my tongue; and then the two began to +talk, and it was as good as any story you ever invented, Aunt +Judy. Tawny Rachel was very inquisitive, and asked +him:—</p> +<p>“‘You’ve come a long way, sir, I +suppose?’</p> +<p>“‘Yes, ma’am; I’m a great traveller, +and have been so a many years.’</p> +<p>“‘It’s a wonder you have not settled before +now.’</p> +<p>“‘I might have settled, ma’am, a many +times.’</p> +<p>“‘Ah, when folks once begin wandering, they +can’t settle down. You were, maybe, brought up to +it.’</p> +<p>“‘I was brought up to something a deal better than +that, ma’am.’</p> +<p>“‘You was, sir? It’s a pity, I’m +sure.’</p> +<p>“‘My father was physician to Queen Elizabeth, +ma’am, a many years.’”</p> +<p>When No. 3 arrived at this point of the dialogue, mamma and +Aunt Judy both exclaimed at once, and the former repeated once +more the expostulatory “My dear No. 3!” which +delighted No. 3, who proceeded to assure them that he had himself +interrupted the travelling quack here, by suggesting that it was +Queen Charlotte he meant.</p> +<p>“Old Queen Charlotte, you know, Judy, that No. 1 was +telling the children about the other day.”</p> +<p>But the “gentleman,” as No. 3 called him, had +turned very red at the doubt thus thrown on his accuracy, and put +a rather threatening croak into his voice, as he said:—</p> +<p>“Asking your pardon, young gentleman, I know what +I’m saying, and it was Queen Elizabeth, and not Charlotte +nor anybody else!”</p> +<p>No. 3 described that he felt it best, after this, to hold his +tongue and say no more, so Tawny Rachel put in her word, and +remarked, it was a wonder the queen hadn’t made their +fortunes; on which the gentleman turned rather red again, and +said that the queen did make their fortune, but wouldn’t +let them keep it, for fear they should be too great and too +rich—that was it! This statement required a little +explanation, but the gentleman was ready with all +particulars. The queen used to pay his father by hundreds +of pounds at a time, because that was due to him, but being +jealous of his having so much money, she always set some one to +take it away from him as he left the place! So that was the +reason why these was no fortune put by for him after his father +died, and that was the reason why he couldn’t very well +settle at first, though everybody wished him to stay, and +<i>so</i> he took to travelling; for his father had left him all +his secrets, and he was qualified to practise anywhere, and had +cured some thousands of sick folks up and down!</p> +<p>No. 3 declared that he had not made the old man’s +account of himself a bit more unconnected than it really was, +and, on the whole, it sounded very imposing to poor Tawny Rachel, +who watched his departure with a sort of respectful awe.</p> +<p>No. 3 added, that not liking to disturb her faith either in +the man or the bottle, he had himself helped her to the first +dose, and had then begun to talk about the creature comforts +before described, the very mention of which seemed to cheer the +old lady’s heart, and to interest her at least as much as +the biography of the travelling quack.</p> +<p>“So now, mother,” concluded he, “order the +gruel, and we’ll give three cheers for Queen Elizabeth, and +Dr. Faustus—eh, Judy? But I do think the poor old +thing ought not to take that man’s poisonous rubbish; so +here’s my shilling, and welcome, if you’ll give some +more, and let us send for a real doctor.”</p> +<p>The “nothing-to-do” morning had nearly slipped +away, between the conversation with Aunt Judy, and the visit to +Tawny Rachel; and when, soon after, a friend called to take No. 3 +off on a fossil hunt, and he had to snatch a hasty morsel before +his departure, he declared he was like the poor governess in the +song, who was sure to</p> +<blockquote><p> “Find out,<br /> +With attention and zeal,<br /> +That she’d scarcely have time<br /> +To partake of a meal,”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>there was so much to do. “But you’re a +capital fellow, Judy,” he added, kissing her, “and +you’ll tell me a story when I come back;” and off he +ran, shutting his ears to Aunt Judy’s declaration that she +only told stories to the “little ones.”</p> +<p>Nor would she, on his return, and during the cozy evening +“nothing-to-do” hour, consent to devote herself to +his especial amusement only. So, after arguing the point +for a time, he very wisely yielded, and declared at last that he +would be a “little one” too, and listen to a +“little one’s” story, if Aunt Judy would tell +one.</p> +<p>It was rather late when this was settled, and the little ones +had stayed up-stairs to play at a newly-invented +game—bazaars—in the nursery; but when No. 3 strode in +with the announcement of the story, there was a shout of delight, +followed by the old noisy rush down-stairs to the +dining-room.</p> +<p>It is not a bad thing to be a “little one” now and +then in spirit. People would do well to try and be so +oftener. Who that has looked upon a picture of himself as a +“little one,” has not wished that he could be +restored to the “little one’s” spirit, the +“little one’s” innocence, the “little +one’s” hopeful trust? “Of such is the +kingdom of Heaven!” And though none of us would like +to live our lives over again, lest our errors should be repeated, +and so doubled in guilt, all of us, at the sight of what we once +were, would fain, very fain, if we could, lie down to sleep, and +awake a “little one” again. Never, perhaps, is +the sweet mercy of an early death brought so closely home to our +apprehension, as when the grown-up, care-worn man looks upon the +image of himself as a child.</p> +<p>Happily, however—nay, more than happily, +<i>mercifully</i>—the grown-up man, if he do but put on the +humility, may gain something of the peace of a “little +one’s” heart!</p> +<p>Aunt Judy had twisted up a roll of muslin for a turban on her +head by the time they came down, “for,” said she, +“this is to be an eastern tale, and I shall not be +inspired—that is to say, I shall not get on a +bit—unless there is a costume and manners to correspond, so +you three little ones squat yourselves down Turkish-fashion on +the floor, with your legs tucked under you. There now! +that’s something like, and I begin to feel myself in the +East. Nevertheless, I am rather glad there is no critical +Eastern traveller at hand, listening through the key-hole to my +blunders.</p> +<p>“However, errors excepted, here is the wonderful story +of</p> +<h3>‘The King of the Hills and his Four Sons.’</h3> +<p>“A great many years ago, in a country which cannot be +traced upon the maps, but which lies somewhere between the great +rivers Indus and Euphrates, lived Schelim, King of the Hills.</p> +<p>“His riches were unlimited, his palaces magnificent, and +his dresses and jewels of the most costly description. He +never condescended to wear a diamond unless it was inconveniently +large for his fingers, and the fiery opals which adorned his +turban (like those in the mineral-room at the British Museum) +shimmered and blazed in such a surprising manner, that people +were obliged to lower their eyes before the light of them.</p> +<p>“Powerful as well as rich, King Schelim could have +anything in the world he wished for, but—such is the +perversity of human nature—he cared very little for +anything except smoking his pipe; of which, to say the truth, he +was so fond, that he would have been well contented to have done +nothing else all day long. It seemed to him the nearest +approach to the sublimest of all ideas of human +happiness—the having <i>nothing to do</i>.</p> +<p>“He caused his four sons to be brought up in luxurious +ease, his wish for them being, that they should remain ignorant +of pain and sorrow for as long a period of their lives as was +possible. So he built a palace for them, at the summit of +one of his beautiful hills, where nothing disagreeable or +distressing could ever meet their eyes, and he gave orders to +their attendants, that they should never be thwarted in +anything.</p> +<p>“Every wish of their hearts, therefore, was gratified +from their baby days; but so far from being in consequence the +happiest, they were the most discontented children in his +dominions.</p> +<p>“From the first year of their birth, King Schelim had +never been able to smoke his pipe in peace. There were +always messages coming from the royal nursery to the +smoking-room, asking for something fresh for the four young +princes, who were, owing to some mysterious cause, incapable of +enjoying any of their luxurious indulgences for more than a few +hours together.</p> +<p>“At first these incessant demands for one thing or +another for the children, surprised and annoyed their papa +considerably, but by degrees he got used to it, and took the +arrival of the messengers as a matter of course.</p> +<p>“The very nurses began it:—</p> +<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes, +your Majesty’s incomparable sons—may their shadows +never be less!—are tired of their jewelled rattles, and +have thrown them on the floor. Doubtless they would like +India-rubber rings with bells better.’</p> +<p>“‘Then get them India-rubber rings with +bells,’ was all King Schelim said, and turned to his pipe +again.</p> +<p>“And so it went on perpetually, until one day it came +to,—</p> +<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes, +your Majesty’s incomparable sons—may their shadows +never be less!—have thrown their hobbyhorses into the +river, and want to have live ponies instead.’</p> +<p>“At the first moment the king gave his usual answer, +‘Then get them live ponies instead,’ from a sort of +mechanical habit, but the words were scarcely uttered when he +recalled them. This request awoke even his sleepy soul out +of its smoke-dream, and inquiring into the ages of his sons, and +finding that they were of years to learn as well as to ride, he +dismissed their nurses, placed them in the hands of tutors, and +procured for them the best masters of every description.</p> +<p>“‘For,’ said he, ‘what saith the +proverb? “Kings govern the earth, but wise men govern +kings.” My sons shall be wise as well as kingly, and +then they can govern themselves.’</p> +<p>“And after settling this so cleverly, King Schelim +resumed his pipe, in the confident hope, that now, at last, he +should smoke it in peace.</p> +<p>“‘For,’ said he, ‘when my sons shall +become wise through learning, they will be more moderate in their +desires.’</p> +<p>“I do not know whether his Majesty’s incomparable +sons relished this change from nurses to tutors, but on that +particular point they were allowed no choice; so if they bemoaned +themselves in their palace on the hill, their father knew nothing +of it.</p> +<p>“And to soften the disagreeableness of the restraint +which learning imposes, King Schelim gave more strict orders than +ever, that, provided the young gentlemen only learnt their +lessons well, every whim that came into their heads should be +complied with soon as expressed.</p> +<p>“In spite of all his ingenious arrangements, however, +the royal father did not enjoy the amount of repose he +expected. All was quiet enough during lesson-hours, it is +true; but as soon as ever that period had elapsed, the young +princes became as restless as ever. Nay—the older +they grew, the more they wanted, and the less pleased they became +with what was granted.</p> +<p>“From very early days of the tutorship, the old story +began:—</p> +<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, the young princes, +your Majesty’s incomparable sons—may their shadows +never be less!—are tired of their ponies, and want horses +instead.’</p> +<p>“The king was a little disappointed at this, and +actually laid down his pipe to talk.</p> +<p>“‘Is anything the matter with the ponies?’ +he asked.</p> +<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, no; only that your +incomparable sons call them <i>slow</i>.’</p> +<p>“‘Spirited lads!’ thought the king, quite +consoled, and gave the answer as usual:—</p> +<p>“‘Then get them horses instead.’ But +when only a few days afterwards he was informed that his +incomparable sons had wearied of their horses, because they also +were ‘slow,’ and wished to ride on elephants instead, +his Majesty began to feel disturbed in mind, and wonder what +would come next, and how it was that the teaching of the tutors +did not make his sons more moderate in their desires.</p> +<p>“‘Nevertheless,’ said he, ‘what saith +the proverb, “Thou a man, and lackest +patience?” And again,</p> +<blockquote><p>“Early ripe, early rotten,<br /> +Early wise, soon forgotten.”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>My sons are but children yet.’</p> +<p>“After which reflection he returned to his pipe as +before, and disturbed himself as little as possible, when +messenger after messenger arrived, to announce the fresh vagaries +of the young princes.</p> +<p>“It is impossible to enumerate all the luxuries, +amusements, and delights, they asked for, obtained, and wearied +of during several years. But the longer it went on, the +more hardened and indifferent their father became.</p> +<p>“‘For,’ said he, ‘what saith the +proverb? “The longest lane turns at +last.” At last my sons will have everything man can +wish for, and then they will cease from asking, and I shall smoke +my pipe in peace.’</p> +<p>“One day, however, the messenger entered the royal +smoking-room in a greater hurry than ever, and was about to +commence his usual elaborate peroration respecting the +incomparable sons, when his Majesty held up his hand to stop him, +and called out:—</p> +<p>“‘What is it now?’</p> +<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, your Majesty’s +in—’</p> +<p>“‘What is it they <i>want</i>?’ cried the +king, interrupting him.</p> +<p>“‘May it please your Majesty, <i>something to +do</i>.’</p> +<p>“‘Something to do?’ repeated the perplexed +king of the hills; ‘something to do, when half the riches +of my empire have been expended upon providing them with the +means of doing everything in the world that was delightful to the +soul of man?</p> +<p>“‘Surely, oh son of a dog, thou art laughing at my +beard, to come to me with such a message from my sons.’</p> +<p>“‘Nevertheless, may it please your Majesty, I have +spoken but the truth. Your Majesty’s +in—’</p> +<p>“‘Hush with that nonsense,’ interrupted the +king.</p> +<p>“‘Your Majesty’s sons, in fact, then, have +sickened and pined for three mortal days, because they have got +<i>nothing to do</i>.’</p> +<p>“‘Now, then, my sons are mad!’ exclaimed +poor King Schelim, laying down his pipe, and rising from his +recumbent position; ‘and it is time that I bestir +myself.’</p> +<p>“And thereupon he summoned his attendants, and sent for +the royal Hakim, that is to say, physician; and the most learned +and experienced Dervish, that is to say, religious teacher of the +neighbourhood.</p> +<p>“‘For,’ said he, ‘who knows whether +this sickness is of the body or the soul?’</p> +<p>“And having explained to them how he had brought up his +children, the indulgences with which he had surrounded them, the +learning which he had had instilled into them, and the way in +which he had preserved them from every annoying sight and sound, +he concluded:—</p> +<p>“‘What more could I have done for the happiness of +my children than I have done, and how is it that their reason has +departed from them, so that they are at a loss for something to +do? Speak one or other of you and explain.’</p> +<p>“Then the Dervish stepped forward, and opening his +mouth, began to make answer.</p> +<p>“‘And,’ said he, ‘oh King of the +Hills, in the bringing up of thy sons, surely thou hast forgotten +the proverb which saith, “He that would know good manners, +let him learn them from him who hath them not.” For +even so may the wise man say of happiness, “He that would +know he is happy, must learn it from him who is not.” +But again, doth not another proverb say, “Will thy candle +burn less brightly for lighting mine?” Wherefore the +happiness which a man has, when he has discovered it, he is bound +to impart to those that have it not. Have I spoken +well?’</p> +<p>“Then King and the Hakim declared he had spoken +remarkably well; nevertheless I am by no means sure that King +Schelim knew what he meant. Whereupon the Dervish offered +to go at once to the four incomparable princes, and cure them of +their madness in supposing they had nothing to do, and King +Schelim in great delight, and thoroughly glad to be rid of the +trouble, told him that he placed his sons entirely in his hands; +then taking him aside, he addressed to him a parting word in +confidence.</p> +<p>“‘Thou knowest, oh wise Dervish, that I have had +no education myself, and therefore, as the proverb hath it, +“To say <i>I don’t know</i>, is the comfort of my +life,” yet what better is a learned man than a fool, if he +comes but to this conclusion at last? See thou restore +wisdom and something to do to the souls of my sons.’</p> +<p>“Which the Dervish promised to accomplish, accordingly +in company with the Hakim, he betook himself to the palace of the +four princes, his Majesty’s incomparable sons.</p> +<p>“Well, in spite of all they had heard, both the Dervish +and Hakim were surprised at what they really found at the palace +of the four princes.</p> +<p>“It was as if everything that human ingenuity could +devise for the gratification, amusement, and occupation both of +body and mind had been here brought together. Horses, +elephants, chariots, creatures of every description, for hunting, +riding, driving, and all sorts of sport were there, countless in +numbers, and perfect in kind. Gardens, pleasure-grounds, +woods, flowers, birds, and fountains, to delight the eye and ear; +while within the palace were sources of still deeper +enjoyment. The songs of the poets and the wisdom of the +ancients reposed there upon golden shelves. Musicians held +themselves in readiness to pour exquisite melodies upon the air; +games, exercises, in-door sports in every variety could be +commanded in a moment, and attendants waited in all directions to +fulfil their young masters’ will.</p> +<p>“The poor old Dervish and Hakim looked at each other in +fresh amazement at every step they took, and neither of them +could find a proverb to fit so extraordinary a case.</p> +<p>“At last, after a long walk through chambers and +anti-chambers without end, hung round with mirrors and ornaments, +they reached the apartment of the young princes, where they found +the four incomparable creatures lounging on four ottomans, +sighing their hearts out, because they had ‘nothing to +do.’</p> +<p>“As the door opened, the eldest prince glanced languidly +round, and inquired if the messenger had returned from their +father, and being answered that the Dervish and Hakim, who now +stood before him, were messengers from their father, he called +out to know if the old gentleman had sent them anything to +do!</p> +<p>“‘The king, your father’s spirit is +disturbed with anxiety,’ answered the Dervish, ‘lest +some sudden calamity should have deprived his sons of the use of +their limbs or their senses, or lest their attendants should have +failed to provide them with everything the earth affords +delightful to the soul of man.’</p> +<p>“‘The king, our father’s spirit is disturbed +with smoke,’ replied the eldest prince, ‘or he never +would have sent such an old fellow as you with such an answer as +that. What’s the use of the use of one’s limbs, +or one’s senses, or all the earth affords delightful to the +soul of man, if we’re sick of it all? Just go back +and tell him we’ve got everything, and are sick of +everything, and can do everything, and don’t care to do +anything, because everything is so ‘slow;’ so we will +trouble him to find us something fresh to do. There! is +that clear enough, old gentleman?’</p> +<p>“‘The king, your father,’ answered the +Dervish, ‘has provided against even that emergency; I am +come to tell you of something fresh to see and to do.’</p> +<p>“No sooner had the Dervish uttered these words, than the +four princes jumped up from the ottoman in the most lively and +vigorous manner, and clamoured to know what it was, expressing +their hope that it was a ‘jolly lark.’</p> +<p>“In answer to which the Dervish, lifting himself up in a +commanding manner, stretched out his arm, and exclaimed, in a +solemn voice:—</p> +<p>“‘Young men, you have exhausted happiness. +Nothing new remains in the world for you, but misery and +want. Follow me!’</p> +<p>“There was something so unusual about the tone of this +address, and it was uttered in so imposing a manner, that the +young princes were, as it were, taken by storm, and they followed +the Dervish and Hakim, without a word of inquiry or +objection.</p> +<p>“And he led them away from the palace on the beautiful +hill—away from all the sights and sounds that were +collected together there to delight the soul of man with both +bodily and intellectual enjoyment—down into the city in the +valley, among the close-packed habitations of common men, +congregated there to labour, and just exist, and then die.</p> +<p>“And presently the Dervish and the Hakim spoke together, +and then the Hakim led the way through a gloomy by-street, till +he came to a habitation into which he entered, and the rest +followed without a word. And there, stretched upon a +pallet, wasted and worn with pain, lay a youth scarcely older +than the young princes themselves, the lower part of whose body +was wrapped round with bandages, and who was unable to move.</p> +<p>“The Hakim proceeded at once to unloosen the fastenings, +and to examine the limbs of the sufferer. They had been +crushed by a frightful accident, while working for his daily +bread, in the quarries of marble near the palace on the hill.</p> +<p>“‘Is there no hope, my father?’ he +ejaculated in agony as the bruised thighs were exposed to the +light, revealing a spectacle from which the princes turned +horrified away.</p> +<p>“But the Dervish stood between them and the door, and +motioned them back.</p> +<p>“‘Is there no hope?’ repeated the +youth. ‘Shall I never again tread the earth in the +freedom of health and strength? never again climb the +mountain-side to taste the sweet breath of heaven? never again +even step across this narrow room, to look forth into the narrow +street?’</p> +<p>“Sobs of distress here broke from the speaker; and, +covering his face with his hands, he awaited the Hakim’s +reply. But while the latter bent down to whisper his +answer, the Dervish addressed himself to the trembling +princes:—</p> +<p>“‘Learn here, at last,’ said he, ‘the +value of those limbs, the power of using which you look upon with +such thankless indifference. As it is with this youth +to-day, so may it be with you to-morrow, if the decree goes forth +from on high. Bid me not again return to your father to +tell him you are weary of a blessing, the loss of which would +overwhelm you with despair.’</p> +<p>“The young princes,” continued Aunt Judy, were, as +their father had said, but children yet; that is to say, although +they were fourteen or fifteen years old, they were childish, in +not having reflected or learnt to reason. But they were not +hard-hearted at bottom. Their tenderness for others had +never been called out during their life of self-indulgence, but +the sight of this young man’s condition, whom they +personally knew as one who had at times been permitted to come up +and join in their games, over-powered them with dismay.</p> +<p>“They entreated the Hakim to say if nothing could be +done, and when he told them that a nurse, and better food, and +the discourse of a wise companion, were all essential for the +recovery of the patient, there was not, to say the truth, one +among them who was not ready with promises of assistance, and +even offers of personal help.</p> +<p>“And now, bidding adieu to this youthful sufferer, whose +distress seemed to receive a sudden calm from the sympathy the +young princes betrayed, the Hakim led the way to another part of +the town, where he entered a house of rather better description, +in a small room of which they found a pale, middle-aged man, who +was engaged in making a coarse sort of netting for trees. +Hearing the noise of the entrance, he looked up, and asked who it +was, but with no change of countenance, or apparent recognition +of anyone there. But as soon as the Hakim had uttered the +words ‘It is I,’ a gleam of delight stole over the +pale face, and the man, rising from his chair, stretched out his +arms to the Hakim, entreating him to approach.</p> +<p>“And then the young princes saw that the pale man was +blind.</p> +<p>“‘Is there any change, oh Cassian?’ inquired +the Hakim, kindly.</p> +<p>“‘None, my father,’ answered the blind man, +in a subdued tone. ‘But shall I murmur at what is +appointed? Surely not in vain was the privilege granted me, +of transcribing the manuscripts which repose on the golden +shelves in the palace of the royal princes. Surely not in +vain did I gather, from the treasures of ancient wisdom, and the +divine songs of the poets, sources of consolation for the +suffering children of men.’</p> +<p>“‘And has anyone been of late to read to +you?’ asked the Hakim.</p> +<p>“But this inquiry the blind man seemed scarcely able to +answer. Big tears gathered into the sightless eyes, and +folding his hands across his bosom, he murmured out:—</p> +<p>“‘None, oh my father. Not to everyone is it +permitted to trace the characters of light in which the wise have +recorded their wisdom. I alone of my family knew the +secret. I alone suffer now. But shall I not submit to +this also with a cheerful spirit? It is written, and it +behoves me to submit.’</p> +<p>“And, with tears streaming over his cheeks, the blind +man took up the netting which he had laid aside, and forced +himself to the work.</p> +<p>“‘Seest thou!’ exclaimed the Dervish, +turning to the prince who stood next him, apparently absorbed in +contemplating the scene. ‘Seest thou how precious are +the powers thou hast wearied of in the spring-time of life? +How dear are the opportunities thou hast not cared to delight +in? Bid me not again return to the king, your father, to +tell him his sons can find no pleasure in blessings, the +deprivation of which they themselves would feel to be the +shutting out of the sun from the soul.’</p> +<p>“Then the young prince to whom the Dervish addressed +himself, wept bitterly, and begged to be allowed to visit the +blind man from time to time, and read to him out of the +manuscripts that reposed on the golden shelves in the palace on +the hill; and which, he now learnt for the first time, had been +transcribed for his use, and that of his brothers, by the skill +of the sufferer before him.</p> +<p>“And when the blind man clasped his hands over his head, +and would have prostrated himself on the ground, in gratitude to +him who spoke, asking who the charitable pitier of the afflicted +could be, the prince embraced him as if he had been his brother, +forced him back gently into his seat, and bidding him await him +at that hour on the morrow, followed the Hakim from the +house.</p> +<p>“And now the Dervish and Hakim spoke together once +again, and the place they visited next was of a very different +description.</p> +<p>“Enclosed within walls, and limited in extent, because +in the outskirts of a populous town, the garden into which they +presently entered, was—though but as a drop in comparison +with the ocean—no unworthy rival of the gorgeous +pleasure-grounds of the palace. There, too, the roses +unfolded themselves in their glory to the sun, tiny fountains +scattered their cooling spray around, and singing-birds, +suspended on overshadowing trees, of this scene of miniature +beauty a venerable was perceived, seated under the shadow of an +arbour, in front of a table on which were scattered manuscripts, +papers, parchments, and dried plants, and in one corner of which +were laid a set of tablets and writing materials.</p> +<p>“Although the door by which they entered had fallen to, +with a noise as they passed through, the old man did not seem to +be aware of it, nor did he notice their presence until they came +so near, that their shadows fell on some of the papers on the +table. Then, indeed, he looked suddenly up, and with a +smile and gesture of delight, bade them welcome.</p> +<p>“It was not difficult to divine that the old man had +lost the sense of hearing, and the Dervish, taking up the tablets +from the table, wrote upon them the following words, which he +showed to the young princes, before presenting them to him for +whom they were intended:—</p> +<p>“‘Hast thou not wearied yet, oh brother, of thy +narrow garden, and the ever-recurring succession of flowers, and +thy study of the secrets of Nature?’</p> +<p>“Whereat the deaf man smiled again, and wrote upon the +tablets:—</p> +<p>“‘Can anyone weary of tracing out the skilful +providence of the Divine Mind? Is it not a world within a +world, oh my brother, and inexhaustible in itself?’</p> +<p>“The youngest prince pressed forward to read the answer, +and having read it, turned to the Dervish, and said, ‘Ask +him why the singing-birds are suspended in the garden, whose +voices he cannot hear.’</p> +<p>“‘Write on the tablet, my son,’ said the +Dervish; and when he had written it, the old man answered, in the +same manner as before:—</p> +<p>“‘I would remember my infirmity, my son, lest my +soul should be tied to the beauties of the visible world, but now +when I see the twittering bills of the feathered songsters, I +remember that one sense has departed, and that the others must +follow; and I prepare myself for death, trusting that those who +have rejoiced in the Divine Mind—however +imperfectly—here, may rejoice yet more hereafter, when no +sense or power shall be wanting!’</p> +<p>“After this, the venerable old man led them to a +secluded corner of the garden, where his young son was +instructing one portion of a class of children from the secrets +of his father’s manuscripts, while another set of +youngsters were engaged in cultivating flowers, by regular +instruction and rule. Many a bright, cheerful face looked +up at the old man and his visitors as they passed, but no one +seemed to wish to leave his work, or his lesson, or the kind +young tutor who ruled among them.</p> +<p>“‘We have wasted our lives, oh my father!’ +exclaimed the young princes, as they passed from this +sight. ‘Tell us, may we not come back again here, to +learn true wisdom from this man and his son?’</p> +<p>“Having obtained the old man’s willing consent to +his, the Hakim retiring conducted his companions back into the +streets; and the young princes, whose eyes were now opened to the +instruction they were receiving, came up to the Dervish, and +said:—</p> +<p>“‘Oh, wise Dervish, we have learnt the lesson you +would teach, and we know now that it is but a folly, and a +mockery, and a lie, when a man says that he has nothing to +do. There is enough to do for all men, if their minds are +directed right! Have I not spoken well?’</p> +<p>“‘Thou hast spoken well according to thy +knowledge,’ answered the Dervish, ‘but thou hast yet +another lesson to learn.’</p> +<p>“The prince was silenced, and the Dervish and Hakim +hurried forward to a still different part of the city, where +several trades were carried on, and where in one place they came +upon an open square, about which a number of gaunt, wild-looking +men, were lounging or sitting; unoccupied, listless, and sad.</p> +<p>“‘This is wrong, my father, is it not?’ +inquired one of the princes; but the Dervish, instead of +answering him, addressed a man who was standing somewhat apart +from the others, and inquired why he was loitering there in +idleness, instead of occupying himself in some honest manner?</p> +<p>“The man laughed a bitter mocking laugh, and turning to +his companions, shouted out, ‘Hear what the wise man +asks! When trade has failed, and no one wants our labour, +he asks us why we stand idling here!’ Then, facing +the Dervish, he continued, ‘Do you not know, can you not +see, oh teacher of the blind, that we have got <i>nothing to +do</i>?—<i>Nothing to do</i>!’ he repeated with a +loud cry—‘<i>Nothing to do</i>! with hearts willing +to work, and hands able to work,’—(here he stretched +out his bared, muscular arm to the Dervish,)—‘and +wife and children calling out for food! Give us +<i>something to do</i>, thou preacher of virtue and +industry,’ he concluded, throwing himself on the ground in +anguish; ‘or, at any rate, cease to mock us with the solemn +inquiry of a fool.’</p> +<p>“‘Oh, my father, my father,’ cried the young +princes, pressing forward, ‘this is the worst, the very +worst of all! All things can be borne, but this dire +reality of having <i>nothing to do</i>. Let us find them +something to do. Let us tear up our gardens, plough up our +lawns, and pleasure-grounds, so that we do but find work for +these men, and save their children and wives from +hunger.’</p> +<p>“‘And themselves from crime,’ added the +Dervish solemnly. Then quitting his companions, he went +into the crowd of men, and made known to them in a few hurried +words, that, by the order of their young princes, there would, +before another day had dawned, be something found to do for them +all.</p> +<p>“The cheer of gratitude which followed this +announcement, thrilled through the heart of those who had been +enabled to offer the boon, and so overpowered them, that, after a +liberal distribution of coin to the necessitous labourers, they +gladly hurried away.</p> +<p>“‘Now my task is ended,’ cried the Dervish, +as they retraced their steps to the palace on the hill. +‘My sons, you have seen the sacred sorrow which may attach +to the bitter complaint of having <i>Nothing to do</i>. +Henceforth seal your lips over the words, for, in all other cases +but this, they are, as you yourselves have said, a folly, a +mockery, and a lie.’</p> +<p>“It is scarcely necessary to add,” continued Aunt +Judy, “that the young princes returned to the palace in a +very different state of mind from that in which they left +it. They had now so many things to do in prospect, so much +to plan and inquire about, that when the night closed upon them, +they wondered how the day had gone, and grudged the necessary +hours of sleep. But on the morrow, just as they were +eagerly recommencing their left-off consultations, the Dervish +appeared among them, and suggested that their first duty still +remained unthought of.</p> +<p>“The incomparable sons were now really surprised, for +they had been flattering themselves they were most laudably +employed. But the Dervish reminded them, that, although +their duty to mankind in general was great, their duty to their +father in particular was yet greater, and that it behoved them to +set his mind at rest, by assuring him, that henceforth they would +not prevent him from smoking his pipe in peace, by restless +discontent, and disturbing messages and wants.</p> +<p>“To this the young princes readily agreed, and +thoroughly ashamed, on reflection, of the years of harass with +which they, in their thoughtless ingratitude, had worried poor +King Schelim, they repaired to his presence, and without entering +into unnecessary explanations, (which he would not have +understood,) assured him that they were perfectly happy, that +they had got plenty to do, as well as everything to enjoy, that +they were very sorry they had tormented him for so long a period +of his life, but that they begged to be forgiven, and would never +do so again!</p> +<p>“King Schelim was uncommonly pleased with what they +said, although he had to lay down his pipe for a few minutes to +receive their salutations, and give his in return; after which +they returned to their palace on the hill, and led thenceforward +useful, intelligent, and therefore happy lives, reforming +grievances, consoling sorrows, and taking particular care that +everybody had the opportunity of having <i>something to +do</i>.</p> +<p>“And as they never again disturbed their father King +Schelim, with foolish messages, he smoked his pipe in peace to +the end of his days.”</p> +<p>“Nice old Schelim!” observed No. 8, when Aunt +Judy’s pause showed that the story was done. A +conclusion which made the other little ones laugh; but now Aunt +Judy spoke again.</p> +<p>“You like the story, all of you?”</p> +<p>Could there be a doubt about it? No! +“Schelim, King of the Hills, and his four sons,” was +one of Aunt Judy’s very, very, very, best inventions. +But they had the happy knack of always thinking so of the last +they heard.</p> +<p>“And yet there is a flaw in it,” said Aunt +Judy.</p> +<p>“Aunt Judy!” exclaimed several voices at once, in +a tone of expostulation.</p> +<p>“Yes; I mean in the moral:” pursued she, +“there is no Christianity in the teaching, and therefore it +is not perfect, although it is all very good as far as it +goes.”</p> +<p>“But they were eastern people, and I suppose Mahometans +or Brahmins,” suggested No. 4.</p> +<p>“Exactly; and, therefore, I could not give them +Christian principles; and, therefore, although I have made my +four princes turn out very well, and do what was right, for the +rest of their lives (as I had a right to do); yet it is only +proper I should explain, that I do not believe any people can be +<i>depended upon</i> for doing right, except when they live upon +Christian principles, and are helped by the grace of God, to +fulfil His will, as revealed to us by His Son Jesus Christ.</p> +<p>“Certainly it is always more <i>reasonable</i> to do +right than wrong, even when the wrong may seem most pleasant at +the moment; because, as all people of sense know, doing right is +most for their own happiness, as well as for everybody +else’s, even in this world.</p> +<p>“But although the knowledge of this may influence us +when we are in a sober enough state of mind to think about it +calmly, the inducement is not a sufficiently strong one to be +relied upon as a safe-guard, when storms of passion and strong +temptations come upon us. In such cases it very often goes +for nothing, and then it is a perfect chance which way a person +acts.</p> +<p>“Even in the matter of doing good to others, we need the +Christian principle as our motive, or we may be often tempted to +give it up, or even to be as cruel at some moments, as we are +kind at others. It is very pleasant, no doubt, to do good, +and be charitable, when the feeling comes into the heart, but the +mere pleasure is apt to cease, if we find people thankless or +stupid, and that our labours seem to have been in vain. And +what a temptation there is, then, to turn away in disgust, unless +we are acting upon Christ’s commands, and can bear in mind, +that even when the pleasure ends, the duty remains.</p> +<p>“And now,” said Aunt Judy in conclusion, “a +kiss for the story-teller all round, if you please. She has +had an invitation, and is going from home to-morrow.”</p> +<p>“Oh, Aunt Judy!” ejaculated the little ones, in +not the most cheerful of tones.</p> +<p>“Well,” cried Aunt Judy, looking at them and +laughing, “you don’t mean to say that you will not +find <i>plenty to do</i>, and <i>plenty to enjoy</i> while I am +away? Come, I mean to write to you all by turns, and I +shall inquire in my letters whether you have remembered, <i>to +your edification</i>, the story of Schelim, King of the Hills, +and his four sons.”</p> +<h2>FOOTNOTES</h2> +<p><a name="footnote47"></a><a href="#citation47" +class="footnote">[47]</a> “Weide,” pasture, +grass.</p> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AUNT JUDY'S TALES***</p> +<pre> + + +***** This file should be named 5074-h.htm or 5074-h.zip****** + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/5/0/7/5074 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. 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Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Aunt Judy's Tales + +Author: Mrs Alfred Gatty + +Release Date: February, 2004 [EBook #5074] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on April 14, 2002] +[Most recently updated: April 14, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, AUNT JUDY'S TALES *** + + + + +Transcribed from the 1859 Bell and Daldy edition by David Price, +email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk +*** +AUNT JUDY'S TALES + + + + +TO THE "LITTLE ONES" IN MANY HOMES, +THIS VOLUME IS DEDICATED. +M. G. + + + +Contents: + The Little Victims + Vegetables out of Place + Cook Stories + Rabbits' Tails + Out of the Way + Nothing to do + + + +THE LITTLE VICTIMS. + + + +"Save our blessings, Master, save, +From the blight of thankless eye." +Lyra Innocentium. + + +There is not a more charming sight in the domestic world, than that +of an elder girl in a large family, amusing what are called the +LITTLE ONES. + +How could mamma have ventured upon that cosy nap in the arm-chair by +the fire, if she had been harassed by wondering what the children +were about? Whereas, as it was, she had overheard No. 8 begging the +one they all called "Aunt Judy," to come and tell them a story, and +she had beheld Aunt Judy's nod of consent; whereupon she had shut her +eyes, and composed herself to sleep quite complacently, under the +pleasant conviction that all things were sure to be in a state of +peace and security, so long as the children were listening to one of +those curious stories of Aunt Judy's, in which, with so much drollery +and amusement, there was sure to be mixed up some odd scraps of +information, or bits of good advice. + +So, mamma being asleep on one side of the fire, and papa reading the +newspaper on the other, Aunt Judy and No. 8 noiselessly left the +room, and repaired to the large red-curtained dining-room, where the +former sat down to concoct her story, while the latter ran off to +collect the little ones together. + +In less than five minutes' time there was a stream of noise along the +passage--a bursting open of the door, and a crowding round the fire, +by which Aunt Judy sat. + +The "little ones" had arrived in full force and high expectation. We +will not venture to state their number. An order from Aunt Judy, +that they should take their seats quietly, was but imperfectly +obeyed; and a certain amount of hustling and grumbling ensued, which +betrayed a rather quarrelsome tendency. + +At last, however, the large circle was formed, and the bright +firelight danced over sunny curls and eager faces. Aunt Judy glanced +her eye round the group; but whatever her opinion as an artist might +have been of its general beauty, she was by no means satisfied with +the result of her inspection. + +"No. 6 and No. 7," cried she, "you are not fit to listen to a story +at present. You have come with dirty hands." + +No. 6 frowned, and No. 7 broke out at once into a howl; he had washed +his hands ever so short a time ago, and had done nothing since but +play at knuckle-bones on the floor! Surely people needn't wash their +hands every ten minutes! It was very hard! + +Aunt Judy had rather a logical turn of mind, so she set about +expounding to the "little ones" in general, and to Nos. 6 and 7 in +particular, that the proper time for washing people's hands was when +their hands were dirty; no matter how lately the operation had been +performed before. Such, at least, she said, was the custom in +England, and everyone ought to be proud of belonging to so clean and +respectable a country. She, therefore, insisted that Nos. 6 and 7 +should retire up-stairs and perform the necessary ablution, or +otherwise they would be turned out, and not allowed to listen to the +story. + +Nos. 6 and 7 were rather restive. The truth was, it had been one of +those unlucky days which now and then will occur in families, in +which everything seemed to be perverse and go askew. It was a dark, +cold, rainy day in November, and going out had been impossible. The +elder boys had worried, and the younger ones had cried. It was +Saturday too, and the maids were scouring in all directions, waking +every echo in the back-premises by the grating of sand-stone on the +flags; and they had been a good deal discomposed by the family effort +to play at "Wolf" in the passages. Mamma had been at accounts all +the morning, trying to find out some magical corner in which expenses +could be reduced between then and the arrival of Christmas bills; +and, moreover, it was a half-holiday, and the children had, as they +call it, nothing to do. + +So Nos. 6 and 7, who had been vexed about several other little +matters before, during the course of the day, broke out now on the +subject of the washing of their hands. + +Aunt Judy was inexorable however--inexorable though cool; and the +rest got impatient at the delay which the debate occasioned: so, +partly by coaxing, and partly by the threat of being shut out from +hearing the story, Nos. 6 and 7 were at last prevailed upon to go up- +stairs and wash their grim little paws into that delicate shell-like +pink, which is the characteristic of juvenile fingers when clean. + +As they went out, however, they murmured, in whimpered tones, that +they were sure it was VERY HARD! + +After their departure, Aunt Judy requested the rest not to talk, and +a complete silence ensued, during which one or two of the youngest +evidently concluded that she was composing her story, for they stared +at her with all their might, as if to discover how she did it. + +Meantime the rain beat violently against the panes, and the red +curtains swayed to and fro from the effect of the wind, which, in +spite of tolerable woodwork, found its way through the divisions of +the windows. There was something very dreary in the sound, and very +odd in the varying shades of red which appeared upon the curtains as +they swerved backwards and forwards in the firelight. + +Several of the children observed it, but no one spoke until the +footsteps of Nos. 6 and 7 were heard approaching the door, on which a +little girl ventured to whisper, "I'm very glad I'm not out in the +wind and rain;" and a boy made answer, "Why, who would be so silly as +to think of going out in the wind and rain? Nobody, of course!" + +At that moment Nos. 6 and 7 entered, and took their places on two +little Derby chairs, having previously showed their pink hands in +sombre silence to Aunt Judy, whereupon Aunt Judy turned herself so as +to face the whole group, and then began her story as follows:- + +"There were once upon a time eight little Victims, who were shut up +in a large stone-building, where they were watched night and day by a +set of huge grown-up keepers, who made them do whatever they chose." + +"Don't make it TOO sad, Aunt Judy," murmured No. 8, half in a tremble +already. + +"You needn't be frightened, No. 8," was the answer; "my stories +always end well." + +"I'm so glad," chuckled No. 8 with a grin, as he clapped one little +fat hand down upon the other on his lap in complete satisfaction. +"Go on, please." + +"Was the large stone-building a prison, Aunt Judy?" inquired No. 7. + +"That depends upon your ideas of a prison," answered Aunt Judy. +"What do you suppose a prison is?" + +"Oh, a great big place with walls all round, where people are locked +up, and can't go in and out as they choose." + +"Very well. Then I think you may be allowed to call the place in +which the little Victims were kept a prison, for it certainly was a +great big place with walls all round, and they were locked up at +night, and not allowed to go in and out as they chose." + +"Poor things," murmured No. 8; but he consoled himself by +recollecting that the story was to end well. + +"Aunt Judy, before you go on, do tell us what VICTIMS are? Are they +fairies, or what? I don't know." + +This was the request of No. 5, who was rather more thoughtful than +the rest, and was apt now and then to delay a story by his inquiring +turn of mind. + +No. 6 was in a hurry to hear some more, and nudged No. 5 to make him +be quiet; but Aunt Judy interposed; said she did not like to tell +stories to people who didn't care to know what they meant, and +declared that No. 5 was quite right in asking what a victim was. + +"A victim," said she, "was the creature which the old heathens used +to offer up as a sacrifice, after they had gained a victory in +battle. You all remember I dare say," continued she, "what a +sacrifice is, and have heard about Abel's sacrifice of the firstlings +of his flock." + +The children nodded assent, and Aunt Judy went on:- + +"No such sacrifices are ever offered up now by us Christians, and so +there are no more real VICTIMS now. But we still use the word, and +call any creature a victim who is ill-used, or hurt, or destroyed by +somebody else. + +"If you, any of you, were to worry or kill the cat, for instance, +then the cat would be called THE VICTIM OF YOUR CRUELTY; and in the +same manner the eight little Victims I am going to tell you about +were the victims of the whims and cruel prejudices of those who had +the charge of them. + +"And now, before I proceed any further, I am going to establish a +rule, that whenever I tell you anything very sad about the little +Victims, you shall all of you groan aloud together. So groan here, +if you please, now that you quite understand what a victim is." + +Aunt Judy glanced round the circle, and they all groaned together to +order, led off by Nos. 3 and 4, who did not, it must be owned, look +in a very mournful state while they performed the ceremony. + +It was wonderful what good that groan did them all! It seemed to +clear off half the troubles of the day, and at its conclusion a smile +was visible on every face. + +Aunt Judy then proceeded:- + +"I do not want to make you cry too much, but I will tell you of the +miseries the captive victims underwent in the course of one single +day, and then you will be able to judge for yourselves what a life +they led together. + +"One of their heaviest miseries happened every evening. It was the +misery of GOING TO BED. Perhaps now you may think it sounds odd that +going to bed should be called a misery. But you shall hear how it +was. + +"In the evening, when all the doors were safely locked and bolted, so +that no one could get away, the little Victims were summoned down- +stairs, and brought into a room where some of the keepers were sure +to be sitting in the greatest luxury. There was generally a warm +fire on the hearth, and a beautiful lamp on the table, which shed an +agreeable light around, and made everything look so pretty and gay, +the hearts of the poor innocent Victims always rose at the sight. + +"Sometimes there would be a huge visitor or two present, who would +now and then take the Victims on their knees, and say all manner of +entertaining things to them. Or there would be nice games for them +to play at. Or the keepers themselves would kiss them, and call them +kind names, as if they really loved them. How nice all this sounds, +does it not? And it would have been nice, if the keepers would but +have let it last for ever. But that was just the one thing they +never would do, and the consequence was, that, whatever pleasure they +might have had, the wretched Victims always ended by being +dissatisfied and sad. + +"And how could it be otherwise? Just when they were at the height of +enjoyment, just when everything was most delightful, a horrible knock +was sure to be heard at the door, the meaning of which they all knew +but too well. It was the knock which summoned them to bed; and at +such a moment you cannot wonder that going to bed was felt to be a +misfortune. + +"Had there been a single one among them who was sleepy, or tired, or +ready for bed, there would have been some excuse for the keepers; but +as it was, there was none, for the little Victims never knew what it +was to feel tired or weary on those occasions, and were always +carried forcibly away before that feeling came on. + +"Of course, when the knock was heard, they would begin to cry, and +say that it was very hard, and that they didn't WANT to go to bed, +and one went so far once as to add that she WOULDN'T go to bed. + +"But it was all in vain. The little Victims might as well have +attempted to melt a stone wall as those hard-hearted beings who had +the charge of them. + +"And now, my dears," observed Aunt Judy, stopping in her account, +"this is of all others the exact moment at which you ought to show +your sympathy with the sufferers, and groan." + +The little ones groaned accordingly, but in a very feeble manner. + +Aunt Judy shook her head. + +"That groan is not half hearty enough for such a misery. Don't you +think, if you tried hard, you could groan a little louder?" + +They did try, and succeeded a little better, but cast furtive glances +at each other immediately after. + +"Were the beds very uncomfortable ones, Aunt Judy?" inquired No. 8, +in a subdued voice. + +"You shall judge for yourself," was the answer. "They were raised +off the floor upon legs, so that no wind from under the door could +get at them; and on the flat bottom called the bed-stock, there was +placed a thick strong bag called a mattress, which was stuffed with +some soft material which made it springy and pleasant to touch or lie +down upon. The shape of it was a long square, or what may be called +a rectangular parallelogram. I strongly advise you all to learn that +word, for it is rather an amusing idea as one steps into bed, to +think that one is going to sleep upon a parallelogram." + +Nos. 3 and 4 were here unable to contain themselves, but broke into a +peal of laughter. The little ones stared. + +"Well," resumed Aunt Judy, "for my part, I think it's a very nice +thing to learn the ins and outs of one's own life; to consider how +one's bed is made, and the why and wherefore of its shape and +position. It is a great pity to get so accustomed to things as not +to know their value till we lose them! But to proceed. + +"On the top of this parallelogramatic mattress was laid a soft +blanket. On the top of that blanket, two white sheets. On the top +of the sheets, two or more warm blankets, and on the top of the +blankets, a spotted cover called a counterpane. + +"Now it was between the sheets that each little Victim was laid, and +such were the receptacles to which they were unwillingly consigned, +night after night of their lives! + +"But I have not yet told you half the troubles of this dreadful +'going to bed.' A good fire with a large tub before it, and towels +hung over the fender, was always the first sight which met the +tearful eyes of the little Victims as they entered the nursery after +being torn from the joys of the room down-stairs. And then, lo and +behold! a new misery began, for, whether owing to the fatigue of +getting up-stairs, or that their feelings had been so much hurt, they +generally discovered at this moment that they were one and all so +excessively tired, they didn't know what to do;--of all things, did +not choose to be washed--and insisted, each of them, on being put to +bed first! But let them say what they would, and cry afresh as they +pleased, and even snap and snarl at each other like so many small +terriers, those cruel keepers of theirs never would grant their +requests; never would put any of them to bed dirty, and always +declared that it was impossible to put each of them to bed first! + +Imagine now the feelings of those who had to wait round the fire +while the others were attended to! Imagine the weariness, the +disgust, before the whole party was finished, and put by for the +night!" + +Aunt Judy paused, but no one spoke. + +"What!" cried she suddenly, "will nobody groan? Then I must groan +myself!" which she did, and a most unearthly noise she made; so much +so, that two or three of the little ones turned round to look at the +swelling red curtains, just to make sure the howl did not proceed +from thence. + +After which Aunt Judy continued her tale:- + +"So much for night and going to bed, about which there is nothing +more to relate, as the little Victims were uncommonly good sleepers, +and seldom awoke till long after daylight. + +"Well now, what do you think? By the time they had had a good night, +they felt so comfortable in their beds, that they were quite +contented to remain there; and then, of course, their tormentors +never rested till they had forced them to get up! Poor little +things! Just think of their being made to go to bed at night, when +they most disliked it, and then made to get up in the morning, when +they wanted to stay in bed! It certainly was, as they always said, +'very, very hard.' This was, of course, a winter misery, when the +air was so frosty and cold that it was very unpleasant to jump out +into it from a warm nest. Terrible scenes took place on these +occasions, I assure you, for sometimes the wretched Victims would sit +shivering on the floor, crying over their socks and shoes instead of +putting them on, (which they had no spirit for,) and then the savage +creatures who managed them would insult them by irritating speeches. + +"'Come, Miss So-and-So,' one would say, 'don't sit fretting there; +there's a warm fire, and a nice basin of bread-and-milk waiting for +you, if you will only be quick and get ready.' + +"Get ready! a nice order indeed! It meant that they must wash +themselves and be dressed before they would be allowed to touch a +morsel of food. + +"But it is of no use dwelling on the unfeelingness of those keepers. +One day one of them actually said:- + +"'If you knew what it was to have to get up without a fire to come +to, and without a breakfast to eat, you would leave off grumbling at +nothing.' + +"NOTHING! they called it NOTHING to have to get out of a warm bed +into the fresh morning air, and dress before breakfast! + +"Well, my dears," pursued Aunt Judy, after waiting here a few +seconds, to see if anybody would groan, "I shall take it for granted +you feel for the GETTING-UP misery as well as the GOING-TO-BED one, +although you have not groaned as I expected. I will just add, in +conclusion, that the summer GETTING-UP misery was just the reverse of +this winter one. Then the poor little wretches were expected to wait +till their nursery was dusted and swept; so there they had to lie, +sometimes for half-an-hour, with the sun shining in upon them, not +allowed to get up and come out into the dirt and dust! + +"Of course, on those occasions they had nothing to do but squabble +among themselves and teaze; and I assure you they had every now and +then a very pleasant little revenge on their keepers, for they half +worried them out of their lives by disturbances and complaints, and +at any rate that was some comfort to them, although very often it +hindered the nursery from being done half as soon as it would have +been if they had been quiet. + +"I shall not have time to tell of everything," continued Aunt Judy, +"so I must hurry over the breakfast, although the keepers contrived +to make even that miserable, by doing all they could to prevent the +little Victims from spilling their food on the table and floor, and +also by insisting on the poor little things sitting tolerably upright +on their seats--NOT lolling with both elbows on the table-cloth--NOT +making a mess--not, in short, playing any of those innocent little +pranks in which young creatures take delight. + +"It was a pitiable spectacle, as you may suppose, to see reasonable +beings constrained against their inclinations to sit quietly while +they ate their hearty morning meal, which really, perhaps, they might +have enjoyed, had they been allowed to amuse themselves in their own +fashion at the same time. + +"But I must go on now to that great misery of the day, which I shall +call the LESSON misery. + +"Now you must know, the little Victims were all born, as young kids, +lambs, kittens, and puppy-dogs are, with a decided liking for jumping +about and playing all day long. Think, therefore, what their +sufferings were when they were placed in chairs round a table, and +obliged to sit and stare at queer looking characters in books until +they had learned to know them what was called BY HEART. It was a +very odd way of describing it, for I am sure they had often no heart +in the matter, unless it was a hearty dislike. + +"'Tommy Brown in the village never learns any lessons,' cried one of +them once to the creature who was teaching him, 'why should I? He is +always playing at oyster-dishes in the gutter when I see him, and +enjoying himself. I wish _I_ might enjoy myself!' + +"Poor Victim! He little thought what a tiresome lecture this clever +remark of his would bring on his devoted head! + +"Don't ask me to repeat it. It amounted merely to this, that twenty +years hence he would he very glad he had learnt something else +besides making oyster-dishes in the streets. As if that signified to +him now! As if it took away the nuisance of having to learn at the +present moment, to be told it would be of use hereafter! What was +the use of its being of use by-and-by? + +"So thought the little Victim, young as he was; so, said he, in a +muttering voice:- + +"'I don't care about twenty years hence; I want to be happy now!' + +"This was unanswerable, as you may suppose; so the puzzled teacher +didn't attempt to make a reply, but said:- + +"'Go on with your lessons, you foolish little boy!' + +"See what it is to be obstinate," pursued Aunt Judy. "See how it +blinds people's eyes, and prevents them from knowing right from +wrong! Pray take warning, and never be obstinate yourselves; and +meantime, let us have a good hearty groan for the LESSON misery." + +The little ones obeyed, and breathed out a groan that seemed to come +from the very depths of their hearts; but somehow or other, as the +story proceeded, the faces looked rather less amused, and rather more +anxious, than at first. + +What could the little ones be thinking about to make them grave? + +It was evidently quite a relief when Aunt Judy went on:- + +"You will be very much surprised, I dare say," said she, "to hear of +the next misery I am going to tell you about. It may be called the +DINNER misery, and the little Victims underwent it every day." + +"Did they give them nasty things to eat, Aunt Judy?" murmured No. 8, +very anxiously. + +"More likely not half enough," suggested No. 5. + +"But you promised not to make the story TOO sad, remember!" observed +No. 6. + +"I did," replied Aunt Judy, "and the DINNER misery did not consist in +nasty food, or there not being enough. They had plenty to eat, I +assure you, and everything was good. But--" + +Aunt Judy stopped short, and glanced at each of the little ones in +succession. + +"Make haste, Aunt Judy!" cried No. 8. "But what?" + +"BUT," resumed Aunt Judy, in her most impressive tone, "they had to +wait between the courses." + +Again Aunt Judy paused, and there was a looking hither and thither +among the little ones, and a shuffling about on the small Derby +chairs, while one or two pairs of eyes were suddenly turned to the +fire, as if watching it relieved a certain degree of embarrassment +which their owners began to experience. + +"It is not every little boy or girl," was Aunt Judy's next remark, +"who knows what the courses of a dinner are." + +"_I_ don't," interposed No. 8, in a distressed voice, as if he had +been deeply injured. + +"Oh, you think not? Well, not by name, perhaps," answered Aunt Judy. +"But I will explain. The courses of a dinner are the different sorts +of food, which follow each other one after the other, till dinner is +what people call 'over.' Thus, supposing a dinner was to begin with +pea-soup, as you have sometimes seen it do, you would expect when it +was taken away to see some meat put upon the table, should you not?" + +The little ones nodded assent. + +"And after the meat was gone, you would expect pie or pudding, eh?" + +They nodded assent again, and with a smile. + +"And if after the pudding was carried away, you saw some cheese and +celery arrive, it would not startle you very much, would it?" + +The little ones did nothing but laugh. + +"Very well," pursued Aunt Judy, "such a dinner as we have been +talking about consists of four courses. The soup course, the meat +course, the pudding course, and the cheese course. And it was while +one course was being carried out, and another fetched in, that the +little Victims had to wait; and that was the DINNER misery I spoke +about, and a very grievous affair it was. Sometimes they had +actually to wait several minutes, with nothing to do but to fidget on +their chairs, lean backwards till they toppled over, or forward till +some accident occurred at the table. And then, poor little things, +if they ventured to get out their knuckle-bones for a game, or took +to a little boxing amusement among themselves, or to throwing the +salt in each other's mugs, or pelting each other with bits of bread, +or anything nice and entertaining, down came those merciless keepers +on their innocent mirth, and the old stupid order went round for +sitting upright and quiet. Nothing that I can say about it would be +half as expressive as what the little Victims used to say themselves. +They said that it was 'SO VERY HARD.' + +"Now, then, a good groan for the DINNER misery," exclaimed Aunt Judy +in conclusion. + +The order was obeyed, but somewhat reluctantly, and then Aunt Judy +proceeded with her tale. + +"On one occasion of the DINNER misery," resumed she, "there happened +to be a stranger lady present, who seemed to be very much shocked by +what the Victims had to undergo, and to pity them very much; so she +said she would set them a nice little puzzle to amuse them till the +second course arrived. But now, what do you think the puzzle was? +It was a question, and this was it. 'Which is the harder thing to +bear--to have to wait for your dinner, or to have no dinner to wait +for?' + +"I do not think the little Victims would have quite known what the +stranger lady meant, if she had not explained herself; for you see +THEY had never gone without dinner in their lives, so they had not an +idea what sort of a feeling it was to have NO DINNER TO WAIT FOR. +But she went on to tell them what it was like as well as she could. +She described to them little Tommy Brown, (whom they envied so much +for having no lessons to do,) eating his potatoe soaked in the +dripping begged at the squire's back-door, without anything else to +wait--or hope for. She told them that HE was never teazed as to how +he sat, or even whether he sat or stood, and then she asked them if +they did not think he was a very happy little boy? He had no trouble +or bother, but just ate his rough morsel in any way he pleased, and +then was off, hungry or not hungry, into the streets again. + +"To tell you the truth," pursued Aunt Judy, "the Victims did not know +what to say to the lady's account of little Tommy Brown's happiness; +but as the roast meat came in just as it concluded, perhaps that +diverted their attention. However, after they had all been helped, +it was suddenly observed that one of them would not begin to eat. He +sat with his head bent over his plate, and his cheeks growing redder +and redder, till at last some one asked what was amiss, and why he +would not go on with his dinner, on which he sobbed out that he had +'much rather it was taken to little Tommy Brown!'" + +"That was a very GOOD little Victim, wasn't he?" asked No. 8. + +"But what did the keepers say?" inquired No. 5, rather anxiously. + +"Oh," replied Aunt Judy, "it was soon settled that Tommy Brown was to +have the dinner, which made the little Victim so happy, he actually +jumped for joy. On which the stranger lady told them she hoped they +would henceforth always ask themselves her curious question whenever +they sat down to a good meal again. 'For,' said she, 'my dears, it +will teach you to be thankful; and you may take my word for it, it is +always the ungrateful people who are the most miserable ones.'" + +"Oh, Aunt Judy!" here interposed No. 6, somewhat vehemently, "you +need not tell any more! I know you mean US by the little Victims! +But you don't think we really MEAN to be ungrateful about the beds, +or the dinners, or anything, do you?" + +There was a melancholy earnestness in the tone of the inquiry, which +rather grieved Aunt Judy, for she knew it was not well to magnify +childish faults into too great importance: so she took No. 6 on her +knee, and assured her she never imagined such a thing as their being +really ungrateful, for a moment. If she had, she added, she should +not have turned their little ways into fun, as she had done in the +story. + +No. 6 was comforted somewhat on hearing this, but still leant her +head on Aunt Judy's shoulder in a rather pensive state. + +"I wonder what makes one so tiresome," mused the meditative No. 5, +trying to view the matter quite abstractedly, as if he himself was in +no way concerned in it. + +"Thoughtlessness only," replied Aunt Judy, smiling. "I have often +heard mamma say it is not ingratitude in CHILDREN when they don't +think about the comforts they enjoy every day; because the comforts +seem to them to come, like air and sunshine, as a mere matter of +course." + +"Really?" exclaimed No. 6, in a quite hopeful tone. "Does mamma +really say that?" + +Yes; but then you know," continued Aunt Judy, "everybody has to be +taught to think by degrees, and then they get to know that no +comforts ever do really come to anybody as a matter of course. No, +not even air and sunshine; but every one of them as blessings +permitted by God, and which, therefore, we have to be thankful for. +So you see we have to LEARN to be thankful as we have to learn +everything else, and mamma says it is a lesson that never ends, even +for grown-up people. + +"And now you understand, No. 6, that you--oh! I beg pardon, I mean +THE LITTLE VICTIMS--were not really ungrateful, but only thoughtless; +and the wonderful stranger lady did something to cure them of that, +and, in fact, proved a sort of Aunt Judy to them; for she explained +things in such a very entertaining manner, that they actually began +to think the matter over; and then they left off being stupid and +unthankful. + +"But this reminds me," added Aunt Judy, "that you--tiresome No. 6-- +have spoilt my story after all! I had not half got to the end of the +miseries. For instance, there was the TAKING-CARE misery, in +consequence of which the little Victims were sent out to play on a +fine day, and kept in when it was stormy and wet, all because those +stupid keepers were more anxious to keep them well in health than to +please them at the moment. + +"And then there was--above all--" here Aunt Judy became very +impressive, "the WASHING misery, which consisted in their being +obliged to make themselves clean and comfortable with soap and water +whenever they happened to be dirty, whether with playing at knuckle- +bones on the floor, or anything else, and which was considered SO +HARD that--" + +But here a small hand was laid on Aunt Judy's mouth, and a gentle +voice said, "Stop, Aunt Judy, now!" on which the rest shouted, "Stop! +stop! we won't hear any more," in chorus, until all at once, in the +midst of the din, there sounded outside the door the ominous +knocking, which announced the hour of repose to the juvenile branches +of the family. + +It was a well-known summons, but on this occasion produced rather an +unusual effect. First, there was a sudden profound silence, and +pause of several seconds; then an interchange of glances among the +little ones; then a breaking out of involuntary smiles upon several +young faces; and at last a universal "Good-night, Aunt Judy!" very +quietly and demurely spoken. + +"If the little Victims were only here to see how YOU behave over the +GOING-TO-BED misery, what a lesson it would be!" suggested Aunt Judy, +with a mischievous smile. + +"Ah, yes, yes, we know, we know!" was the only reply, and it came +from No. 8, who took advantage of being the youngest to be more saucy +than the rest. + +Aunt Judy now led the little party into the drawing-room to bid their +father and mother good-night too. And certainly when the door was +opened, and they saw how bright and cosy everything looked, in the +light of the fire and the lamps, with mamma at the table, wide awake +and smiling, they underwent a fearful twinge of the GOING-TO-BED +misery. But they checked all expression of their feelings. Of +course, mamma asked what Aunt Judy's story had been about, and heard; +and heard, too, No. 6's little trouble lest she should have been +guilty of the sin of real ingratitude; and, of course, mamma +applauded Aunt Judy's explanation about the want of thought, very +much indeed. + +"But, mamma," said No. 6 to her mother, "Aunt Judy said something +about grown-up people having to learn to be thankful. Surely you and +papa never cry for nonsense, and things you can't have?" + +"Ah, my darling No. 6," cried mamma earnestly, "grown-up people may +not CRY for what they want exactly, but they are just as apt to wish +for what they cannot have, as you little ones are. For instance, +grown-up people would constantly like to have life made easier and +more agreeable to them, than God chooses it to be. They would like +to have a little more wealth, perhaps, or a little more health, or a +little more rest, or that their children should always be good and +clever, and well and happy. And while they are thinking and fretting +about the things they want, they forget to be thankful for those they +have. I am often tempted in this way myself, dear No. 6; so you see +Aunt Judy is right, and the lesson of learning to be thankful never +ends, even for grown-up people. + +"One other word before you go. I dare say you little ones think we +grown-up people are quite independent, and can do just as we like. +But it is not so. We have to learn to submit to the will of the +great Keeper of Heaven and earth, without understanding it, just as +Aunt Judy's little Victims had to submit to their keepers without +knowing why. So thank Aunt Judy for her story, and let us all do our +best to be obedient and contented." + +"When I am old enough, mother," remarked No. 7, in his peculiarly +mild and deliberate way of speaking, and smiling all the time, "I +think I shall put Aunt Judy into a story. Don't you think she would +make a capital Ogre's wife, like the one in 'Jack and the Bean- +Stalk,' who told Jack how to behave, and gave him good advice?" + +It was a difficult question to say "No" to, so mamma kissed No. 7, +instead of answering him, and No. 7 smiled himself away, with his +head full of the bright idea. + + + +VEGETABLES OUT OF PLACE. + + + +"But any man that walks the mead, + In bud or blade, or bloom, may find, +According as his humours lead, + A meaning suited to his mind." +TENNYSON. + +It was a fine May morning. Not one of those with an east wind and a +bright sun, which keep people in a puzzle all as day to whether it is +hot or cold, and cause endless nursery disputes about the keeping on +of comforters and warm coats, whenever a hoop-race, or some such +active exertion, has brought a universal puggyness over the juvenile +frame--but it was a really mild, sweet-scented day, when it is quite +a treat to be out of doors, whether in the gardens, the lanes, or the +fields, and when nothing but a holland jacket is thought necessary by +even the most tiresomely careful of mammas. + +It was not a day which anybody would have chosen to be poorly upon; +but people have no choice in such matters, and poor little No. 7, of +our old friends "the little ones," was in bed ill of the measles. + +The wise old Bishop, Jeremy Taylor, told us long ago, how well +children generally bear sickness. "They bear it," he says, "by a +direct sufferance;" that is to say, they submit to just what +discomfort exists at the moment, without fidgetting about either a +cause or a consequence," and decidedly without fretting about what is +to come. + +For a grown-up person to attain to the same state of unanxious +resignation, is one of the high triumphs of Christian faith. It is +that "delivering one's self up," of which the poor speak so forcibly +on their sick-beds. + +No. 7 proved a charming instance of the truth of Jeremy Taylor's +remark. He behaved in the most composed manner over his feelings, +and even over his physic. + +During the first day or two, when he sat shivering by the fire, +reading "Neill D'Arcy's Life at Sea," and was asked how he felt, he +answered with his usual smile; "Oh, all right; only a little cold now +and then." And afterwards, when he was in bed in a darkened room, +and the same question was put, he replied almost as quietly, (though +without the smile,) "Oh--only a little too hot." + +Then over the medicine, he contested nothing. He made, indeed, one +or two by no means injudicious suggestions, as to the best method of +having the disagreeable material, whether powdery or oleaginous, (I +will not particularize further!) conveyed down his throat: commonly +said, "Thank you," even before he had swallowed it; and then shut his +eyes, and kept himself quiet. + +Fortunately No. 1, and Schoolboy No. 3, had had the complaint as well +as papa and mamma, so there were plenty to share in the nursing and +house matters. The only question was, what was to be done with the +little ones while Nurse was so busy; and Aunt Judy volunteered her +services in their behalf. + +Now it will easily be supposed, after what I have said, that the +nursing was not at all a difficult undertaking; but I am grieved to +say that Aunt Judy's task was by no means so easy a one. + +The little ones were very sorry, it is true, that No. 7 was poorly; +but, unluckily, they forgot it every time they went either up-stairs +or down. They could not bear in their minds the fact, that when they +encouraged the poodle to bark after an India-rubber ball, he was +pretty sure to wake No. 7 out of a nap; and, in short, the day being +so fine, and the little ones so noisy, Aunt Judy packed them all off +into their gardens to tidy them up, she herself taking her station in +a small study, the window of which looked out upon the family play- +ground. + +Her idea, perhaps, was, that she could in this way combine the +prosecution of her own studies, with enacting policeman over the +young gardeners, and "keeping the peace," as she called it. But if +so, she was doomed to disappointment. + +The operation of "tidying up gardens," as performed by a set of +"little ones," scarcely needs description. + +It consists of a number of alterations being thought of, and set +about, not one of which is ever known to be finished by those who +begin them. It consists of everybody wanting the rake at the same +moment, and of nobody being willing to use the other tools, which +they call stupid and useless things. It consists of a great many +plants being moved from one place to another, when they are in full +flower, and dying in consequence. (But how, except when they are in +flower, can anyone judge where they will look best?) It consists of +a great many seeds being prevented from coming up at all, by an +"alteration" cutting into the heart of the patch just as they were +bursting their shells for a sprout. It consists of an unlimited and +fatal application of the cold-water cure. + +And, finally, it results in such a confusion between foot-walks and +beds--such a mixture of earth and gravel, and thrown-down tools--that +anyone unused to the symptoms of the case, might imagine that the +door of the pigsty in the yard had been left open, and that its +inhabitant had been performing sundry uncouth gambols with his nose +in the little ones' gardens. + +Aunt Judy was quite aware of these facts, and she had accordingly +laid down several rules, and given several instructions to prevent +the usual catastrophe; and all went very smoothly at first in +consequence. The little ones went out all hilarity and delight, and +divided the tools with considerable show of justice, while Aunt Judy +nodded to them approvingly out of her window, and then settled down +to an interesting sum in that most peculiar of all arithmetical +rules, "The Rule of False," the principle of which is, that out of +two errors, made by yourself from two wrong guesses, you arrive at a +discovery of the truth! + +When Aunt Judy first caught sight of this rule, a few days before, at +the end of an old summing-book, it struck her fancy at once. The +principle of it was capable of a much more general application than +to the "Rule of False," and she amused herself by studying it up. + +It is, no doubt, a clumsy substitute for algebra; but young folks who +have not learnt algebra, will find it a very entertaining method of +making out all such sums as the following old puzzler, over which +Aunt Judy was now poring: + +"There is a certain fish, whose head is 9 inches in length, his tail +as long as his head and half of his back, and his back as long as +both head and tail together. Query, the length of the fish?" + +But Aunt Judy was not left long in peace with her fish. While she +was in the thick of "suppositions" and "errors," a tap came at the +window. + +"Aunt Judy!" + +"Stop!" was the answer; and the hand of the speaker went up, with the +slate-pencil in it, enforcing silence while she pursued her +calculations. + +"Say, back 42 inches; then tail (half back) 21, and head given, 9, +that's 30, and 30 and 9, 39 back.--Won't do! Second error: three +inches--What's the matter, No. 6? You surely have not begun to +quarrel already?" + +"Oh, no," answered No. 6, with her nose flattened against the window- +pane. "But please, Aunt Judy, No. 8 won't have the oyster-shell +trimming round his garden any longer, he says; he says it looks so +rubbishy. But as my garden joins his down the middle, if he takes +away the oyster-shells all round his, then one of MY sides--the one +in the middle, I mean--will be left bare, don't you see? and I want +to keep the oyster-shells all round may garden, because mamma says +there are still some zoophytes upon them. So how is it to be?" + +What a perplexity! The fish with his nine-inch head, and his tail as +long as his head and half of his back, was a mere nothing to it. + +Aunt Judy threw open the window. + +"My dear No. 6," answered she, "yours is the great boundary-line +question about which nations never do agree, but go squabbling on +till some one has to give way first. There is but one plan for +settling it, and that is, for each of you to give up a piece of your +gardens to make a road to run between. Now if you'll both give way +at once, and consent to this, I will come out to you myself, and +leave my fish till the evening. It's much too fine to stay in doors, +I feel; and I can give you all something real to do." + +"I'LL give way, I'm sure, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, quite glad to be +rid of the dispute; "and so will you, won't you, No. 8?" she added, +appealing to that young gentleman, who stood with his pinafore full +of dirty oyster-shells, not quite understanding the meaning of what +was said. + +"I'll WHAT?" inquired he. + +"Oh, never mind! Only throw the oyster-shells down, and come with +Aunt Judy. It will be much better fun than staying here." + +No. 8 lowered his pinafore at the word of command, and dropped the +discarded oyster-shells, one by one--where do you think?--why--right +into the middle of his little garden! an operation which seemed to be +particularly agreeable to him, if one might judge by his face. He +was not sorry either to be relieved from the weight. + +"You see, Aunt Judy," continued No. 6 to her sister, who had now +joined them, "it doesn't so much matter about the oyster-shell +trimming; but No. 8's garden is always in such a mess, that I must +have a wall or something between us!" + +"You shall have a wall or a path decidedly," replied Aunt Judy: "a +road is the next best thing to a river for a boundary-line. But now, +all of you, pick up the tools and come with me, and you shall do some +regular work, and be paid for it at the rate of half-a-farthing for +every half hour. Think what a magnificent offer!" + +The little ones thought so in reality, and welcomed the arrangement +with delight, and trudged off behind Aunt Judy, calculating so hard +among themselves what their conjoint half-farthings would come to, +for the half-hours they all intended to work, and furthermore, what +amount or variety of "goodies" they would purchase, that Aunt Judy +half fancied herself back in the depths of the "Rule of False" again! + +She led them at last to a pretty shrubbery-walk, of which they were +all very fond. On one side of it was a quick-set hedge, in which the +honeysuckle was mixed so profusely with the thorn, that they grew and +were clipped together. + +It was the choicest spot for a quiet evening stroll in summer that +could possibly be imagined. The sweet scent from the honeysuckle +flowers stole around you with a welcome as you moved along, and set +you a dreaming of some far-off region where the delicious sensations +produced by the odour of flowers may not be as transient as they are +here. + +There was an alcove in the middle of the walk--not one of the modern +mockeries of rusticity--but a real old-fashioned lath-and-plaster +concern, such as used to be erected in front of a bowling-green. It +was roofed in, was open only on the sunny side, and was supported by +a couple of little Ionic pillars, up which clematis and passion- +flower were studiously trained. + +There was a table as well as seats within; and the alcove was a very +nice place for either reading or drawing in, as it commanded a pretty +view of the distant country. It was also, and perhaps especially, +suited to the young people in their more poetical and fanciful moods. + +The little ones had no sooner reached the entrance of the favourite +walk, than they scampered past Aunt Judy to run a race; but No. 6 +stopped suddenly short. + +"Aunt Judy, look at these horrible weeds! Ah! I do believe this is +what you have brought us here for!" + +It was indeed; for some showers the evening before, had caused them +to flourish in a painfully prominent manner, and the favourite walk +presented a somewhat neglected appearance. + +So Aunt Judy marked it off for the little ones to weed, repeated the +exhilarating promise of the half-farthings, and seated herself in the +alcove to puzzle out the length of the fish. + +At first it was rather amusing to hear, how even in the midst of +their weeding, the little ones pursued their calculations of the +anticipated half-farthings, and discussed the niceness and prices of +the various descriptions of "goodies." + +But by degrees, less and less was said; and at last, the half- +farthings and "goodies" seemed altogether forgotten, and a new idea +to arise in their place. + +The new idea was, that this weeding-task was uncommonly troublesome! + +"I'm sure there are many more weeds in my piece than in anybody +else's!" remarked the tallest of the children, standing up to rest +his rather tired back, and contemplate the walk. "I don't think Aunt +Judy measured it out fair!" + +"Well, but you're the biggest, and ought to do the most," responded +No. 6. + +"A LITTLE the most is all very well," persisted No. 5; "but I've got +TOO MUCH the most rather--and it's very tiresome work." + +"What nonsense!" rejoined No. 6. "I don't believe the weeds are any +thicker in your piece than in mine. Look at my big heap. And I'm +sure I'm quite as tired as you are." + +No. 6 got up as she spoke, to see how matters were going on; not at +all sorry either, to change her position. + +"I'VE got the most," muttered No. 8 to himself, still kneeling over +his work. + +But this was, it is to be feared, a very unjustifiable bit of brag. + +"If you go on talking so much, you will not get any half-farthings at +all!" shouted No. 4, from the distance. + +A pause followed this warning, and the small party ducked down again +to their work. + +They no longer liked it, however; and very soon afterwards the jocose +No. 5 observed, in subdued tones to the others:- + +"I wonder what THE LITTLE VICTIMS would have said to this kind of +thing?" + +"They'd have hated it," answered No. 6, very decidedly. + +The fact was, the little ones were getting really tired, for the fine +May morning had turned into a hot day; and in a few minutes more, a +still further aggravation of feeling took place. + +No. 6 got up again, shook the gravel from her frock, blew it off her +hands, pushed back a heap of heavy curls from her face, set her hat +as far back on her head as she could, and exclaimed:- + +"I wish there were no such things as weeds in the world!" + +Everybody seemed struck with this impressive sentiment, for they all +left off weeding at once, and Aunt Judy came forward to the front of +the alcove. + +"Don't you, Aunt Judy?" added No. 6, feeling sure her sister had +heard. + +"Not I, indeed," answered Aunt Judy, with a comical smile: "I'm too +fond of cream to my tea." + +"Cream to your tea, Aunt Judy? What can that have to do with it?" + +The little ones were amazed. + +"Something," at any rate, responded Aunt Judy; "and if you like to +come in here, and sit down, I will tell you how." + +Away went hoes and weeding-knives at once, and into the alcove they +rushed; and never had garden-seats felt so thoroughly comfortable +before. + +"If one begins to wish," suggested No. 5, stretching his legs out to +their full extent, "one may as well wish oneself a grand person with +a lot of gardeners to clear away the weeds as fast as they come up, +and save one the trouble." + +"Much better wish them away, and save everybody the trouble," +persisted No. 6. + +"No: one wants them sometimes." + +"What an idea! Who ever wants weeds?" + +"You yourself." + +"I? What nonsense!" + +But the persevering No. 5 proceeded to explain. No. 6 had asked him +a few days before to bring her some groundsel for her canary, and he +had been quite disappointed at finding none in the garden. He had +actually to "trail" into the lanes to fetch a bit. + +This was a puzzling statement; so No. 6 contented herself with +grumbling out:- + +"Weeds are welcome to grow in the lanes." + +"Weeds are not always weeds in the lanes," persisted No. 5, with a +grin: "they're sometimes wild-flowers." + +"I don't care what they are," pouted No. 6. "I wish I lived in a +place where there were none." + +"And I wish I was a great man, with lots of gardeners to take them +up, instead of me," maintained No. 5, who was in a mood of lazy +tiresomeness, and kept rocking to and fro on the garden-chair, with +his hands tucked under his thighs. "A weed--a weed," continued he; +"what is a weed, I wonder? Aunt Judy, what is a weed?" + +Aunt Judy had surely been either dreaming or cogitating during the +last few minutes, for she had taken no notice of what was said, but +she roused up now, and answered:- + +"A vegetable out of its place." + +"A VEGETABLE," repeated No. 5, "why we don't eat them, Aunt Judy." + +"You kitchen-garden interpreter, who said we did?" replied she. "All +green herbs are VEGETABLES, let me tell you, whether we eat them or +not." + +"Oh, I see," mused No. 5, quietly enough, but in another instant he +broke out again. + +"I'll tell you what though, some of them are real vegetables, I mean +kitchen-garden vegetables, to other creatures, and that's why they're +wanted. Groundsel's a vegetable, it's the canary's vegetable. I +mean his kitchen-garden vegetable, and if he had a kitchen-garden of +his own, he would grow it as we do peas. So I was right after all, +No. 6!" + +That TWIT at the end spoilt everything, otherwise this was really a +bright idea of No. 5's. + +"Aunt Judy, do begin to talk yourself," entreated No. 6. "I wish No. +5 would be quiet, and not teaze." + +"And he wishes the same of you," replied Aunt Judy, "and I wish the +same of you all. What is to be done? Come, I will tell you a story, +on one positive understanding, namely, that whoever teazes, or even +TWITS, shall be turned out of the company." + +No. 5 sat up in his chair like a dart in an instant, and vowed that +he would be the best of the good, till Aunt Judy had finished her +story. + +"After which--" concluded he, with a wink and another grin. + +"After which, I shall expect you to be better still," was Aunt Judy's +emphatic rejoinder. And peace being now completely established, she +commenced: "There was once upon a time--what do you think?"--here +she paused and looked round in the children's faces. + +"A giant!" exclaimed No. 8. + +"A beautiful princess!" suggested No. 6. + +"SOMETHING," said Aunt Judy, "but I am not going to tell you what at +present. You must find out for yourselves. Meantime I shall call it +SOMETHING, or merely make a grunting--hm--when I allude to it, as +people do to express a blank." + +The little ones shuffled about in delighted impatience at the notion +of the mysterious "something" which they were to find out, and Aunt +Judy proceeded:- + +"This--hm--then, lived in a large meadow field, where it was the +delight of all beholders. The owner of the property was constantly +boasting about it to his friends, for he maintained that it was the +richest, and most beautiful, and most valuable--hm--in all the +country round. Surely no other thing in this world ever found itself +more admired or prized than this SOMETHING did. The commonest +passer-by would notice it, and say all manner of fine things in its +praise, whether in the early spring, the full summer, or the autumn, +for at each of these seasons it put on a fresh charm, and formed a +subject of conversation. 'Only look at that lovely--hm--' was quite +a common exclamation at the sight of it. 'What a colour it has! How +fresh and healthy it looks! How invaluable it must be! Why, it must +be worth at least--' and then the speaker would go calculating away +at the number of pounds, shillings, and pence, the--hm--would fetch, +if put into the money-market, which is, I am sorry to say, a very +usual, although very degrading way of estimating worth. + +"To conclude, the mild-eyed Alderney cow, who pastured in the field +during the autumn months, would chew the cud of approbation over the- +-hm--for hours together, and people said it was no wonder at all that +she gave such delicious milk and cream." + +Here a shout of supposed discovery broke from No. 5. "I've guessed, +I know it!" + +But a "hush" from Aunt Judy stopped him short. + +"No. 5, nobody asked your opinion, keep it to yourself, if you +please." + +No. 5 was silenced, but rubbed his hands nevertheless. + +"Well," continued Aunt Judy, "that 'SOMETHING' ought surely to have +been the most contented thing in the world. Its merits were +acknowledged; its usefulness was undoubted; its beauty was the theme +of constant admiration; what had it left to wish for? Really +nothing; but by an unlucky accident it became dissatisfied with its +situation in a meadow field, and wished to get into a higher position +in life, which, it took for granted, would be more suited to its many +exalted qualities. The 'SOMETHING' of the field wanted to inhabit a +garden. The unlucky accident that gave rise to this foolish idea, +was as follows:- + +"A little boy was running across the beautiful meadow one morning, +with a tin-pot full of fishing bait in his hand, when suddenly he +stumbled and fell down. + +"The bait in the tin-pot was some lob-worms, which the little boy had +collected out of the garden adjoining the field, and they were spilt +and scattered about by his fall. + +"He picked up as many as he could find, however, and ran off again; +but one escaped his notice and was left behind. + +"This gentleman was insensible for a few seconds; but as soon as he +came to himself, and discovered that he was in a strange place, he +began to grumble and find fault. + +"'What an uncouth neighbourhood!' Such were his exclamations. 'What +rough impracticable roads! Was ever lob-worm so unlucky before!' It +was impossible to move an inch without bumping his sides against some +piece of uncultivated ground. + +"Judge for yourselves, my dears," continued Aunt Judy, pathetically, +"what must have been the feelings of the 'SOMETHING' which had lived +proudly and happily in the meadow field for so long, on hearing such +offensive remarks. + +"Its spirit was up in a minute, just as yours would have been, and it +did not hesitate to inform the intruder that travellers who find +fault with a country before they have taken the trouble to inquire +into its merits, are very ignorant and impertinent people. + +"This was blow for blow, as you perceive; and the TEAZE-AND-TWIT +system was now continued with great animation on both sides. + +"The lob-worm inquired, with a conceited wriggle, what could be the +merits of a country, where gentlemanly, gliding, thin-skinned +creatures like himself were unable to move about without personal +annoyance? Whereupon the amiable 'SOMETHING' made no scruple of +telling the lob-worm that his BETTERS found no fault with the place, +and instanced its friend and admirer the Alderney cow. + +"On which the lob-worm affected forgetfulness, and exclaimed, 'Cow? +cow? do I know the creature? Ah! Yes, I recollect now; clumsy legs, +horny feet, and that sort of thing,' proceeding to hint that what was +good enough for a cow, might yet not be refined enough for his own +more delicate habits. + +"'It is my misfortune, perhaps,' concluded he, with mock humility, +'to have been accustomed to higher associations; but really, situated +as I am here, I could almost feel disposed to--why, positively, to +wish myself a cow, with clumsy legs and horny feet. What one may +live to come to, to be sure!' + +"Well," Aunt Judy proceeded, "will you believe it, the lob-worm went +on boasting till the poor deluded 'SOMETHING' believed every word he +said, and at last ventured to ask in what favoured spot he had +acquired his superior tastes and knowledge. + +"And then, of course, the lob-worm had the opportunity of opening out +in a very magnificent bit of brag, and did not fail to do so. + +"Travellers can always boast with impunity to stationary folk, and +the lob-worm had no conscience about speaking the truth. + +So on he chattered, giving the most splendid account of the garden in +which he lived. Gorgeous flowers, velvet lawns, polished gravel- +walks, along which he was wont to take his early morning stroll, +before the ruder creatures of the neighbourhood, such as dogs, cats, +&c. were up and about, were all his discourse; and he spoke of them +as if they were his own, and told of the nursing and tending of every +plant in the lovely spot, as if the gardeners did it all for his +convenience and pleasure. + +"Of the little accidents to which he and his race have from time +immemorial been liable from awkward spades, or those very early +birds, by whom he ran a risk of being snapped up every time he +emerged out of the velvet lawns for the morning strolls, he said just +nothing at all. + +"All was unmixed delight (according to his account) in the garden, +and having actually boasted himself into good humour with himself, +and therefore with everybody else, he concluded by expressing the +condescending wish, that the 'SOMETHING' in the field should get +itself removed to the garden, to enjoy the life of which he spoke. + +"'Undeniably beautiful as you are here,' cried he, 'your beauty will +increase a thousand fold, under the gardener's fostering care. +Appreciated as you are now in your rustic life, the most prominent +place will be assigned to you when you get into more distinguished +society; so that everybody who passes by and sees you, will exclaim +in delight, 'Behold this exquisite--hm--!'" + +"Oh dear, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, "was the 'hum,' as you will call +it, so silly as to believe what he said?" + +"How could the poor simple-minded thing be expected to resist such +elegant compliments, my dear No. 6?" answered Aunt Judy. "But then +came the difficulty. The 'SOMETHING' which lived in the field had no +more legs than the lob-worm himself, and, in fact, was incapable of +locomotion." + +"Of course it was!" ejaculated No. 5. + +"Order!" cried Aunt Judy, and proceeded:- + +"So the--hm--hung down its graceful head in despair, but suddenly a +bright and loving thought struck it. It could not change its place +and rise in life itself, but its children might, and that would be +some consolation. It opened its heart on this point to the lob-worm, +and although the lob-worm had no heart to be touched, he had still a +tongue to talk. + +"If the--hm--would send its children to the garden at the first +opportunity, he would be delighted, absolutely charmed, to introduce +them in the world. He would put them in the way of everything, and +see that they were properly attended to. There was nothing he +couldn't or wouldn't do. + +"This last pretentious brag seemed to have exhausted even the lob- +worm's ingenuity, for, soon after he had uttered it, he shuffled away +out of the meadow in the best fashion that he could, leaving the +'SOMETHING' in the field in a state of wondering regret. But it +recovered its spirits again when the time came for sending its +children to the favoured garden abode. + +"'My dears,' it said, 'you will soon have to begin life for +yourselves, and I hope you will do so with credit to your bringing +up. I hope you are now ambitious enough to despise the dull old plan +of dropping contentedly down, just where you happen to be, or waiting +for some chance traveller (who may never come) to give you a lift +elsewhere. That paradise of happiness, of which the lob-worm told +us, is close at hand. Come! it only wants a little extra exertion on +your part, and you will be carried thither by the wind, as easily as +the wandering Dandelion himself. Courage, my dears! nothing out of +the common is ever gained without an effort. See now! as soon as +ever a strong breeze blows the proper way, I shall shake my heads as +hard as ever I can, that you may be off. All the doors and windows +are open now, you know, and you must throw yourselves out upon the +wind. Only remember one thing, when you are settled down in the +beautiful garden, mind you hold up your heads, and do yourselves +justice, my dears.' + +"The children gave a ready assent, of course, as proud as possible at +the notion; and when the favourable breeze came, and the maternal +heads were shaken, out they all flew, and trusted themselves to its +guidance, and in a few minutes settled down all over the beautiful +garden, some on the beds, some on the lawn, some on the polished +gravel-walks. And all I can say is, happiest those who were least +seen!" + +"Grass weeds! grass weeds!" shouted the incorrigible No. 5, jumping +up from his seat and performing two or three Dervish-like turns. + +"Oh, it's too bad, isn't it, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, "to stop your +story in the middle?" + +Whereupon Aunt Judy answered that he had not stopped the story in the +middle, but at the end, and she was glad he had found out the meaning +of her--HM--! + +But No. 6 would not be satisfied, she liked to hear the complete +finish up of everything. "Did the 'HUM'S' children ever grow up in +the garden, and did they ever see the lob-worm again?" + +"The--hm's--children did SPRING up in the garden," answered Aunt +Judy, "and did their best to exhibit their beauty on the polished +gravel-walks, where they were particularly delighted with their own +appearance one May morning after a shower of rain, which had made +them more prominent than usual. 'Remember our mother's advice,' +cried they to each other. 'This is the happy moment! Let us hold up +our heads, and do ourselves justice, my dears.' + +"Scarcely were the words spoken, when a troop of rude creatures came +scampering into the walk, and a particularly unfeeling monster in +curls, pointed to the beautiful up-standing little--hms--and shouted, +'Aunt Judy, look at these HORRIBLE WEEDS!' + +"I needn't say any more," concluded Aunt Judy. "You know how you've +used them; you know what you've done to them; you know how you've +even wished there were NO SUCH THINGS IN THE WORLD!" + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, how capital!" ejaculated No. 6, with a sigh, the sigh +of exhausted amusement. + +"'The HUM was a weed too, then, was it?" said No. 8. He did not +quite see his way through the tale. + +"It was not a weed in the meadow," answered Aunt Judy, "where it was +useful, and fed the Alderney cow. It was beautiful Grass there, and +was counted as such, because that was its proper place. But when it +put its nose into garden-walks, where it was not wanted, and had no +business, then everybody called the beautiful Grass a weed." + +"So a weed is a vegetable out of its place, you see," subjoined No. +5, who felt the idea to be half his own, "and it won't do to wish +there were none in the world." + +"And a vegetable out of its place being nothing better than a weed, +Mr. No. 5," added Aunt Judy, "it won't do to be too anxious about +what is so often falsely called, bettering your condition in life. +Come, the story is done, and now we'll go home, and all the patient +listeners and weeders may reckon upon getting one or more farthings +apiece from mamma. And as No. 6's wish is not realized, and there +are still weeds {1} in the world, and among them Grass weeds, _I_ +shall hope to have some cream to my tea." + + + +COOK STORIES. + + + +"Down too, down at your own fireside, +With the evil tongue and the evil ear, +For each is at war with mankind." +TENNYSON'S Maud. + +Aunt Judy had gone to the nursery wardrobe to look over some clothes, +and the little ones were having a play to themselves. As she opened +the door, they were just coming to the end of an explosive burst of +laughter, in which all the five appeared to have joined, and which +they had some difficulty in stopping. No. 4, who was a biggish girl, +had giggled till the tears were running over her cheeks; and No. 8, +in sympathy, was leaning back in his tiny chair in a sort of ecstasy +of amusement. + +The five little ones had certainly hit upon some very entertaining +game. + +They were all (boys and girls alike) dressed up as elderly ladies, +with bits of rubbishy finery on their heads and round their +shoulders, to imitate caps and scarfs; the boys' hair being neatly +parted and brushed down the middle; and they were seated in form +round what was called "the Doll's Table," a concern just large enough +to allow of a small crockery tea-service, with cups and saucers and +little plates, being set out upon it. + +"What have you got there?" was all Aunt Judy asked, as she went up to +the table to look at them. + +"Cowslip-tea," was No. 4's answer, laying her hand on the fat pink +tea-pot; and thereupon the laughing explosion went off nearly as +loudly as before, though for no accountable reason that Aunt Judy +could divine. + +"It's SO good, Aunt Judy, do taste it!" exclaimed No. 8, jumping up +in a great fuss, and holding up his little cup, full of a pale-buff +fluid, to Aunt Judy. + +"You'll have everything over," cried No. 4, calling him to order; and +in truth the table was not the steadiest in the world. + +So No. 8 sat down again, calling out, in an almost stuttering hurry, +"You may keep it all, Aunt Judy, I don't want any more." + +But neither did Aunt Judy, after she had given it one taste; so she +put the cup down, thanking No. 8 very much, but pulling such a funny +face, that it set the laugh going once more; in the middle of which +No. 4 dropped an additional lump of sugar into the rejected buff- +coloured mixture, a proceeding which evidently gave No. 8 a new +relish for the beverage. + +Aunt Judy had got beyond the age when cowslip-tea was looked upon as +one of the treats of life; and she had not, on the other hand, lived +long enough to love the taste of it for the memory's sake of the +enjoyment it once afforded. + +Not but what we are obliged to admit that cowslip-tea is one of those +things which, even in the most enthusiastic days of youth, just falls +short of the absolute perfection one expects from it. + +Even under those most favourable circumstances of having had the +delightful gathering of the flowers in the sweet sunny fields--the +picking of them in the happy holiday afternoon--the permission to use +the best doll's tea-service for the feast--the loan of a nice white +table-cloth--and the present of half-a-dozen pewter knives and forks +to fancy-cut the biscuits with--nay, even in spite of the addition of +well-filled doll's sugar-pots and cream-jugs--cowslip-tea always +seems to want either a leetle more or a leetle less sugar--or a +leetle more or a leetle less cream--or to be a leetle more or a +leetle less strong--to turn it into that complete nectar which, of +course, it really IS. + +On the present occasion, however, the children had clearly got hold +of some other source of enjoyment over the annual cowslip-tea feast, +besides the beverage itself; and Aunt Judy, glad to see them so +safely happy, went off to her business at the wardrobe, while the +little ones resumed their game. + +"Very extraordinary, indeed, ma'am!" began one of the fancy old +ladies, in a completely fancy voice, a little affected, or so. "MOST +extraordinary, ma'am, I may say!" + +(Here there was a renewed giggle from No. 4, which she carefully +smothered in her handkerchief.) + +"But still I think I can tell you of something more extraordinary +still!" + +The speaker having at this point refreshed his ideas by a sip of the +pale-coloured tea, and the other ladies having laughed heartily in +anticipation of the fun that was coming, one of them observed:- + +"You don't SAY so, ma'am--" then clicked astonishment with her tongue +against the roof of her mouth several times, and added impressively, +"PRAY let us hear!" + +"I shall be most happy, ma'am," resumed the first speaker, with a +graceful inclination forwards. "Well!--you see--it was a party. I +had invited some of my most distinguished friends--really, ma'am, +FASHIONABLE friends, I may say, to dinner; and, ahem! you see--some +little anxiety always attends such affairs--even--in the best +regulated families!" + +Here the speaker winked considerably at No. 4, and laughed very +loudly himself at his own joke. + +"Dear me, you must excuse me, ma'am," he proceeded. "So, you see, I +felt a little fatigued by my morning's exertions, (to tell you the +truth, there had been no end of bother about everything!) and I +retired quietly up-stairs to take a short nap before the dressing- +bell rang. But I had not been laid down quite half an hour, when +there was a loud knock at the door. Really, ma'am, I felt quite +alarmed, but was just able to ask, 'Who's there?' Before I had time +to get an answer, however, the door was burst open by the housemaid. +Her face was absolute scarlet, and she sobbed out:- + +"'Oh, ma'am, what shall we do?' + +"'Good gracious, Hannah,' cried I, 'what can be the matter? Has the +soot come down the chimney? Speak!' + +"'It's nothing of that sort, ma'am,' answered Hannah, 'it's the +cook!' + +"'The cook!' I shouted. 'I wish you would not be so foolish, Hannah, +but speak out at once. What about Cook?' + +"'Please, m'm, the cook's lost!' says Hannah. 'We can't find her!' + +"'Your wits are lost, Hannah, _I_ think,' cried I, and sent her to +tidy the rooms while I slipt downstairs to look for the cook. + +"Fancy a lost cook, ma'am! Was there ever such a ridiculous idea? +And on the day of a dinner-party too! Did you ever hear of such a +trial to a lady's feelings before?" + +"Never, I am sure," responded the lady opposite. "Did YOU, ma'am?" +turning to her neighbour. + +But the other three ladies all shook their heads, bit their lips, and +declared that they "Never had, they were sure!" + +"I thought not!" ejaculated the narrator. "Well, ma'am, I went into +the kitchens, the larder, the pantries, the cellars, and all sorts of +places, and still no cook! Do you know, she really was nowhere! +Actually, ma'am, the cook was lost!" + +Shouts of laughter burst forth here; but the lady (who was No. 5) put +up his hand, and called out in his own natural tones:- + +"Stop! I haven't got to the end yet!" + +"Order!" proclaimed No. 4 immediately, in a very commanding voice, +and thumping the table with the head of an old wooden doll to enforce +obedience. + +And then the sham lady proceeded in the same mincing voice as +before:- + +"Well!--dear me, I'm quite put out. But however, you see--what was +to be done, that was the thing. It wanted only half an hour to +dinner-time, and there was the meat roasting away by itself, and the +potatoe-pan boiling over. You never heard such a fizzling as it made +in your life--in short, everything was in a mess, and there was no +cook. + +"Well! I basted the meat for a few minutes, took the potatoe-pan off +the fire, and then ran up-stairs to put on my bonnet. Thought I, the +best thing I can do is to send somebody for the policeman, and let +HIM find the cook. But while I was tying the strings of my bonnet, I +fancied I heard a mysterious noise coming out of the bottom drawer of +my wardrobe. Fancy that, ma'am, with my nerves in such a state from +the cook being lost!" + +No. 5 paused, and looked round for sympathy, which was most freely +given by the other ladies, in the shape of sighs and exclamations. + +"The drawer was a very deep drawer, ma'am, so I thought perhaps the +cat had crept in," continued No. 5. "Well, I went to it to see, and +there it was, partly open, with a cotton gown in it that didn't +belong to me. Imagine my feelings at THAT, ma'am! So I pulled at +the handles to get the drawer quite open, but it wouldn't come, it +was as heavy as lead. It was really very alarming--one doesn't like +such odd things happening--but at last I got it open, though I +tumbled backwards as I did so; and what do you think, ma'am--ladies-- +what DO you think was in it?" + +"The cook!" shrieked No. 4, convulsed with laughter; and the whole +party clapped their hands and roared applause. + +"The cook, ma'am, actually the cook!" pursued No. 5, "one of the +fattest, most POONCHY little women you ever saw. And what do you +think was the history of it? I kept my up-stairs Pickwick in the +corner of that bottom drawer. She had seen it there that very +morning, when she was helping to dust the room, and took the +opportunity of a spare half-hour to slip up and rest herself by +reading it in the drawer. Unluckily, however, she had fallen asleep, +and when I got the drawer out, there she lay, and I actually heard +her snore. A shocking thing this education, ma'am, you see, and +teaching people to read. All the cooks in the country are spoilt!" + +Peals of laughter greeted this wonderfully witty concoction of No. +5's, and the lemon-coloured tea and biscuits were partaken of during +the pause which followed. + +Aunt Judy meanwhile, who had been quite unable to resist joining in +the laugh herself, was seated on the floor, behind the open door of +the wardrobe, thinking to herself of certain passages in Wordsworth's +most beautiful ode, in which he has described the play of children, + + +"As if their whole vocation +Were endless imitation." + + +Truly they had got hold here of strange + + +"Fragments from their dream of human life." + + +Where COULD the children have picked up the original of such absurd +nonsense? + +Aunt Judy had no time to make it out, for now the mincing voices +began again, and she sat listening. + +"Have YOU had no curious adventures with your maids, ma'am?" inquires +No. 5 of No. 4. + +No. 5 makes an attempt at a bewitching grin as he speaks, fanning +himself with a fan which he has had in his hand all the time he was +telling his story. + +"Well, ladies," replied No. 4, only just able to compose herself to +talk, "I don't think I HAVE been quite as fortunate as yourselves in +having so many extraordinary things to tell. My servants have been +sadly common-place, and done just as they ought. But still, ONCE, +ladies--once, a curious little incident did occur to me." + +"Oh, ma'am, I entreat you--pray let us hear it!" burst from all the +ladies at once. + +No. 4 had to bite her lip to preserve her gravity, and then she +turned to No. 5 - + +"The fan, if you please, ma'am!" + +The rule was, that the one fan was placed at the disposal of the +story-teller for the time, so No. 5 handed it to No. 4, with a +graceful bow; and No. 4 waffed it to and fro immediately, and began +her account:- + +"People are so unscrupulous you see, ladies, about giving characters. +It's really shocking. For my part, I don't know what the world will +come to at last. We shall all have to be our own servants, I +suppose. People say anything about anything, that's the fact! Only +fancy, ma'am, three different ladies once recommended a cook to me as +the best soup-maker in the country. Now that sounded a very high +recommendation, for, of course, if a cook can make soups, she can do +anything--sweetmeats and those kind of things follow of themselves. +So, ma am, I took her, and had a dinner-party, and ordered two soups, +entirely that I might show off what a good cook I had got. Think +what a compliment to her, and how much obliged she ought to have +been! Well, ma'am, I ordered the two soups, as I said, one white, +and the other brown; and everything appeared to be going on in the +best possible manner, when, as I was sitting in the drawing-room +entertaining the company, I was told I was wanted. + +"When I got out of the room, there was the man I had hired to wait, +and says he:- + +"'If you please, ma'am where are the knives? I can't find any at +all!' + +"'No knives!' says I. 'Dear me, don't come to me about the knives. +Ask the cook, of course.' + +"'Please, ma'am, I have asked her, and she only laughed.' + +"'Then,' said I, 'ask the housemaid. It's impossible for me to come +out and look for the knives.' + +"Well, ladies," continued No. 4, "would you believe it?--could anyone +believe it?--when I sat down to dinner, and began to help the soup, +no sooner had the silver ladle (MY ladle is silver, ladies) been +plunged into the tureen, than a most singular rattling was heard. + +"'William,' cried I, half in a whisper, to the waiter who was holding +the plate, 'what in the world is this? Surely Cook has not left the +bones in?' + +"'Please, ma'am, I don't know,' was all the man could say. + +"Well--there was no remedy now, so I dipped the ladle in again, and +lifted out--oh! ma'am, I know if it was anybody but myself who told +you, you wouldn't believe it--a ladleful of the lost knives! There +they were, my best beautiful ivory handles, all in the white soup! +And while I was discovering them, the gentleman at the other end of +the table had found all the kitchen-knives, with black handles, in +the brown soup! + +"There never was anything so mortifying before. And what do you +think was Cook's excuse, when I reproached her? + +"'Please, ma'am,' said she, 'I read in the Young Woman's Vademecum of +Instructive Information, page 150, that there was nothing in the +world so strengthening and wholesome as dissolved bones, and ivory- +dust; and so, ma'am, I always make a point of throwing in a few +knives into every soup I have the charge of, for the sake of the +handles--ivory-handles for white soups, ma'am, and black-handles for +the browns!'" + +Thunders of applause interrupted Cook's excuse at this point, and No. +7 was so overcome that he pushed his chair back, and performed three +distinct somersets on the floor, to the complete disorganization of +his head-dress, which consisted of a turban, from beneath which hung +a cluster of false curls. + +Turban and wig being replaced, however, and No. 7 reseated and +composed, No. 4 proceeded:- + +"Cook generally takes them out, she informed me, ladies, before the +tureens come to table; 'but,' said she, 'my back was turned for a +minute here, ma'am, and that stupid William carried them off without +asking if they were ready. It's all William's fault, ma'am; and I +don't mean to stay, for I don't like a place where the man who waits +has no tact!' + +"Now, ladies," continued No. 4, "what do you think of that by way of +a speech from a cook? And I assure you that a medical man's wife, to +whom I mentioned in the course of the evening what Cook had said +about dissolved bones, told me that her husband had only laughed, and +said Cook was quite right. So she hired the woman that night +herself, and I have been told in confidence since--you'll not repeat +it, therefore, of course, ladies?" + +"Of course not!" came from all sides. + +"Well, then, I was told that, before the year was out, the family +hadn't a knife that would cut anything, they were so cankered with +rust. So much for education and learning to read, as you justly +observed, ma'am, before!" + +When the emotions produced by this tale had a little subsided, No. 7 +was called upon for his experience of maids. + +No. 7, with the turban on his head, and a fine red necklace round his +throat, said he took very little notice of the maids, but that he +once had had a very tiresome little boy in buttons, who was extremely +fond of sugar, and always carried the sugar-shaker in his pocket, and +ate up the sugar that was in it, and when it was empty, filled it up +with magnesia. + +"But ONCE," he added, "ladies, he actually put some soda in. It was +at a party, and we had our first rhubarb tart for the season, and the +company sprinkled it all over with the soda and began to eat, but +they were too polite to say how nasty it was. But, of course, when I +was helped I called out. And what do you think the boy in buttons +said?" + +Nobody could guess, so No. 7 had to tell them. + +"He said he had put it in on purpose, because he thought it would +correct the acid of the pie. So I said he had best be apprenticed to +a doctor; so he went--I dare say, ma'am, it was the same doctor who +took your cook--but I never heard of him any more, and I've never +dared to have a boy in buttons again." + +"A very wise decision, ma'am, I'm sure!" cried Aunt Judy, who came up +to the wonderful tea-table in the midst of the last mound of +applause. "And now may I ask what game this is that you are playing +at?" + +"Oh, we're telling Cook Stories, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, seizing her +by the arm; "they're such capital fun! I wish you had heard mine; +they were laughing at it when you first came in!" + +"It must have been delicious, to judge by the delight it gave," +replied Aunt Judy, smiling, and kissing No. 6's oddly bedizened up- +turned face. "But what I want to know is, what put Cook Stories, as +you call them, into your head?" + +"Oh! don't you remember--" and here followed a long account from No. +6 of how, about a week before, the little ones had gone somewhere to +spend the day, and how it had turned out a very rainy day, so that +they could not have games out of doors with their young friends, as +had been expected, but were obliged to sit a great part of the time +in the drawing-room, putting Chinese puzzles together into stupid +patterns, and playing at fox-and-goose, while the ladies were talking +"grown-up conversation," as No. 6 worded it, among themselves; and, +of course, being on their own good behaviour, and very quiet, they +could not help hearing what was said. "And, oh dear, Aunt Judy," +continued No. 6, now with both her arms holding Aunt Judy, of whom +she was very fond, (except at lesson times!) round the waist, "it was +so odd! No. 7 and I did nothing at last but listen and watch them; +for little Miss, who sat with us, was shy, and wouldn't talk, and it +was so very funny to see the ladies nodding and making faces at each +other, and whispering, and exclaiming, how shocking! how abominable! +you don't say so! and all that kind of thing!" + +"Well, but what was shocking, and abominable, and all that kind of +thing?" inquired Aunt Judy. + +"Oh, I don't know--things the nurses, and cooks, and boys in buttons +did. Almost all the ladies had some story to tell--all the servants +had done something or other queer--but especially the cooks, Aunt +Judy, there was no end to the cooks. So one day after we came back, +and we didn't know what to play at, I said: 'Do let us play at +telling Cook Stories, like the ladies at -- .' So we've dressed up, +and played at Cook Stories, ever since. Dear Aunt Judy, I wish you +would invent a Cook Story yourself!" was the conclusion of No. 6's +account. + +So then the mystery was out. Aunt Judy's wonderings were cut short. +Out of the real life of civilized intelligent society had come those + + +"Fragments from their dream of human life," + + +which Aunt Judy had called absurd nonsense. And absurd nonsense, +indeed, it was; but Aunt Judy was seized by the idea that some good +might be got out of it. + +So, in answer to No. 6's wish, she said, with a shy smile:- + +"I don't think I could tell Cook Stories half as well as yourself. +But if, by way of a change, you would like a Lady Story instead, +perhaps I might be able to accomplish that." + +"A LADY Story! Oh, but that would be so dull, wouldn't it?" inquired +No. 6. "You can't make anything funny out of them, surely! Surely +they never do half such odd things as cooks, and boys in buttons!" + +"The ladies themselves think not, of course," was Aunt Judy's reply. + +"Well, but what do you think, Aunt Judy?" + +"Oh, I don't think it matters what I think. The question is, what do +cooks and boys in buttons think?" + +"But, Aunt Judy, ladies are never tiresome, and idle, and +impertinent, like cooks and boys in buttons. Oh! if you had but +heard the REAL Cook Stories those ladies told! I say, let me tell +you one or two--I do think I can remember them, if I try." + +"Then don't try on any account, dear No. 6," exclaimed Aunt Judy. "I +like make-believe Cook Stories much better than real ones." + +"So do I!" cried No. 7, "they're so much the more entertaining." + +"And not a bit less useful," subjoined Aunt Judy, with a sly smile. + +"Well, I didn't see much good in the real ones," pursued No. 7, in a +sort of muse. + +"Let us tell you another make-believe one, then," cried No. 6, who +saw that Aunt Judy was moving off, and wanted to detain her. + +"Then it's MY turn!" shouted No. 8, jumping up, and stretching out +his arm and hand like a young orator flushed to his work. And +actually, before the rest of the little ones could put him down or +stop him, No. 8 contrived to tumble out the Cook Story idea, which +had probably been brewing in his head all the time of Aunt Judy's +talk. + +It was very brief, and this was it, delivered in much haste, and with +all the earnestness of a maiden speech. + +"_I_ had a button boy too, and he was a--what d'ye call it--oh, a +RASCAL, that was it;--he was a rascal, and liked the currants in +mince-pies, so he took them all out, and ate them up, and put in +glass beads instead. So when the people began to ear, their teeth +crunched against the beads! Ah! bah! how nasty it was!" + +No. 8 accompanied this remark with a corresponding grimace of +disgust, and then observed in conclusion:- + +"Perhaps he found it in a book, but I don't know where," after which +he lowered his outstretched arm, smiled, and sat down. + +The company clapped applause, and No. 4 especially must have been +very fond of laughing, for the glass-bead anecdote set her off again +as heartily as ever, and the rest followed in her wake, and while so +doing, never noticed that Aunt Judy had slipped away. + +They soon discovered it, however, when their mirth began to subside; +but before they had time to wonder much, there appeared from behind +the door of the wardrobe a figure, which in their secret souls they +knew to be Aunt Judy herself, although it looked a great deal +stouter, and had a thick-filled cap on its head, a white linen apron +over its gown, and a pair of spectacles on its nose. At sight of it +they showed signs of clapping again, but stopped short when it spoke +to them as a stranger, and willingly received it as such. + +Ah! it is one of the sweet features of childhood that it yields +itself up so readily to any little surprise or delusion that is +prepared for its amusement. No nasty pride, no disinclination to be +carried away, no affected indifference, interfere with young +children's enjoyment of what is offered them. They will even help +themselves into the pleasant visions by an effort of will; and +perhaps, now and then, end by partly believing what they at first +received voluntarily as an agreeable make-believe. + +If, therefore, after the cook figure of Aunt Judy had seated itself +by the doll's table, and the little ones had looked and grinned at it +for some time, hazy sensations began to steal over one or two minds, +that this WAS somehow really a cook, it was all in the natural course +of things, and nobody resisted the feeling. + +Aunt Judy's altered voice, and odd, assumed manner, contributed, no +doubt, a good deal to the impression. + +"Dear, dear! what pretty little darlings you all are!" she began, +looking at them one after another. "As sweet as sugar-plums, when +you have your own way, and are pleased. Eh, dears? But you don't +think you can take old Cooky in, do you? No, no, I know what ladies +and gentlemen, and ladies' and gentlemen's YOUNG ladies and YOUNG +gentlemen are, pretty well, dears, I can tell you! Don't I know all +about the shiny hair and smiling faces of the little pets in the +parlour, and how they leave parlour-manners behind them sometimes, +when they run to the kitchen to Cook, and order her here and there, +and want half-a-dozen things at once, and must and will have what +they want, and are for popping their fingers into every pie! + +"Well, well," she proceeded, "the parlour's the parlour, and the +kitchen's the kitchen, and I'm only a cook. But then I conduct +myself AS Cook, even when I'm in the scullery, and I only wish +ladies, and ladies' YOUNG ladies too, would conduct themselves as +ladies, even when they come into the kitchen; that's what I call +being honourable and upright. Well, dears, I'll tell you how I came +to know all about it. You see, I lived once in a family where there +were no less than eight of those precious little pets, and a precious +time I had of it with them. But, to be sure, now it's past and gone- +-I can make plenty of excuses for them, poor things! They were so +coaxed and flattered, and made so much of, what could be expected +from them but tiresome, wilful ways, without any sense? + +"'If your mamma would but put YOU into the scullery, young miss, to +learn to wash plates and scour the pans out, she'd make a woman of +you,' used I to think to myself when a silly child, who thought +itself very clever to hinder other people's work, would come hanging +about in the kitchen, doing nothing but teaze and find fault, for +that's what a girl can always do. + +"It was very aggravating, you may be sure, dears, (you see I can talk +to you quite reasonably, because you're so nicely behaved;)--it was +very aggravating, of course; but I used to make allowances for them. +Says I to myself, 'Cook, you've had the blessing of being brought up +to hard work ever since you were a babby. You've had to earn your +daily bread. Nobody knows how that brings people to their senses +till they've tried; so don't you go and be cocky, because ladies and +gentlemen, and ladies' and gentlemen's YOUNG ladies and YOUNG +gentlemen, are not quite so sensible as you are. Who knows but what, +if you'd been born to do nothing, you might have been no wiser than +them! It's lucky for you you're only a cook; but don't you go and be +cocky, that's all! Make allowances; it's the secret of life!' + +"So you see, dears, I DID make allowances; and after the eight little +pets was safe in bed till next morning, I used to feel quite +composed, and pitiful-like towards them, poor little dears! But +certainly, when morning came, and the oldest young master was home +for the holidays, it was a trying time for me, and I couldn't think +of the allowances any longer. Either he wouldn't get up and come +down till everyone else had had their breakfast, and so he wanted +fresh water boiled, and fresh tea made, and another muffin toasted, +and more bacon fried; or else he was up so outrageous early, that he +was scolding because there was no hot water before the fire was lit-- +bless you, he hadn't a bit of sense in his head, poor boy, not a bit! +And how should he? Why, he went to school as soon as he was out of +petticoats, and was set to all that Latin and Greek stuff that never +puts anything useful into folks' heads, but so much more chatter and +talk; so he came back as silly as he went, poor thing! Dear me, on a +wet day, after lesson-time, those boys were like so many crazy +creatures. 'Cook, I must make a pie,' says one. 'There's a pie in +the oven already, Master James,' says I. 'I don't care about the pie +in the oven,' says he, 'I want a pie of my own. Bring me the flour, +and the water, and the butter, and all the things--and, above all, +the rolling-pin--and clear the decks, will you, I say, for my pie. +Here goes!' And here used to go, my dears, for Master James had no +sense, as I told you; and so he'd shove all my pots and dishes away, +one on the top of the other; and let me be as busy as I would, and +dinner ever so near ready, the dresser must be cleared, and +everything must give way to HIS pie! His pie, indeed--I wish I had +had the management of his pie just then! I'd have taught him what it +was to come shaking the rolling-pin at the head of a respectable +cook, who wanted to get her business done properly, as in duty bound! + +"But he wasn't the only one. There was little Whipper-snapper, his +younger brother, squeaking out in another corner, 'I shan't make a +pie, James, I shall make toffey; it's far better fun. You'd better +come and help me. Where's the treacle pot, Cook? Cook! I say, +Cook! where's the treacle-pot? And look at this stupid kettle and +pan. What's in the pan, I wonder? Oh, kidney-beans! Who cares for +kidney-beans? How can I make toffey, when all these things are on +the fire? Stay, I'll hand them all off!' + +"And, sure enough, if I hadn't rushed from Master James, who was +drinking away at my custard out of the bowl, to seize on Whipper- +snapper, who had got his hand on the vegetable-pan already, he would +have pulled it and the kettle, and the whole concern, off the fire, +and perhaps scalded himself to death. + +"Then, of course, there comes a scuffle, and Master Whipper-snapper +begins to roar, and out comes Missus, who, poor thing, had no more +sense in her head than her sons, though she'd never been to school to +lose it over Latin and Greek; and, says she, with all her ribbons +streaming, and her petticoats swelled out like a window-curtain in a +draught--says she:- + +"'Cook! I desire that you will not touch my children!' + +"'As you please, ma'am,' says I, 'if you'll be so good as to stop the +young gentlemen from touching my pans, and--' I was going to say +'custard,' but Master James shouts out quite quick:- + +"'Why, I only wanted to make a pie, mamma.' + +"'And I only wanted to make some toffey!' cries Whipper-snapper; and +then mamma answers, like a duchess at court:- + +"'There can't possibly be any objection, my dears; and I wish, Cook, +you would he a little more good-natured to the children;--your temper +is sadly against you!' + +"And out she sails, ribbons and window-curtains and all; and, says I +to myself, as I cooled down, (for the young gentlemen luckily went +away with their dear mama,)--says I to myself, 'It's a very fine +thing, no doubt, to go about in ribbons, and petticoats, and grand +clothes; but, if one must needs carry such a poor, silly head inside +them, as Missus does, I'd rather stop as I am, and be a cook with +some sense about me.' + +"I don't say, my dears," continued the supposed cook, "that I spoke +very politely just then; but who could feel polite, when their dinner +had been put back at least half-an-hour over such nonsense as that? +Missus used to say the 'dear boys' came to the kitchen on a wet day, +because they'd got NOTHING ELSE TO DO! Nothing else to do! and had +learnt Latin and Greek, and all sorts of schooling besides! So much +for education, thought I. Why, it would spoil the best lads that +ever were born into the world. For, of course, you know if these +young gentlemen had been put to decent trades, they'd have found +something else to do with their fingers besides mischief and waste. +And, dear me, I talk about not having been polite to Missus just +then, but now you tell me, dears, what Missus, with all her +education, would have said if she'd been in my place, when one young +gentleman was drinking her custard, and another young gentleman was +pulling her pans on the floor! Do you think she'd have been a bit +more polite than I was? Wouldn't she have called me all the stupid +creatures that ever were born, and told the story over and over to +all her friends and acquaintance to make them stare, and say there +were surely no such simpletons in the world as ladies and gentlemen, +and ladies' and gentlemen's young ladies and young gentlemen? + +"However, I did not go as far as that, because, you see, I had some +sense about me, and could make allowances for all the nonsense the +poor things are brought up to." + +There was no resisting the twinkle in Aunt Judy's eye when she came +to this point, though it shone through an old pair of Nurse's +spectacles; and the little ones clapped their hands, and declared it +was every bit as good as a Cook story, ONLY A GREAT DEAL BETTER! +That twinkle had quite brought Aunt Judy back to them again, in spite +of her cook's attire, and No. 6 cried out:- + +"Oh! don't stop, Aunt Judy! Do go on, Cooky dear! do tell some more! +Did you always live in that place, please?" + +"There now!" exclaimed Aunt Judy, throwing herself back in the chair, +"isn't that a regular young lady's question, out and out? Who but a +young lady, with no more sense in her head than a pin, would have +thought of asking such a thing? Why, miss, is there a joint in the +world that can bear basting for ever? No, no! a time comes when it +must be taken down, if any good's to be left in it; and so at the end +of three years my basting-time was over, and the time for taking down +was come. + +"'Cook,' says I to myself, 'you must give in. If you go on with +those cherubs (that was their company name, you know) much longer, +there won't be a bit of you left!' And, sure enough, that very +morning, dears, they'd come down upon me with a fresh grievance, and +I couldn't stand it, I really couldn't! The sweeps had been by four +o'clock to the kitchen chimney, and I'd been up and toiling every +minute since, and hadn't had time to eat my breakfast, when in they +burst--the young ladies, not the sweeps, dears, I mean:- and there +they broke out at once--I hadn't fed their sea-gulls before +breakfast--(a couple of dull-looking grey birds, with big mouths, +that had come in a hamper over night as a present to the cherubs;) +and it seems I ought to have been up before daylight almost, to look +for slugs for them in the garden till they'd got used to the place! + +"Oh, these ladies and gentlemen! they'd need know something of some +sort to make amends, for there are many things they never know all +their life long! + +"'Young ladies,' says I, 'I didn't come here to get meals ready for +sea-gulls, but Christian ladies and gentlemen. If the sea-gulls want +a cook, your mamma must hire them one on purpose. I've plenty to do +for her and the family, without looking after such nonsense as that!' + +"'That's what you always say,' whimpers the youngest Miss; 'and you +know they don't want any cooking, but only raw slugs! And you know +you might easily look for them, because you've got almost nothing to +do, because it's such an easy place, mamma always says. But you're +always cross, mamma says that too, and everybody knows you are, +because she tells everybody!' + +"When little Miss had got that out, she thought she'd finished me up; +and so she had, for when I heard that Missus was so ungenteel as to +go talking of what I did, to all her acquaintance, and had nothing +better to talk about, I made up my mind that I'd give notice that +very day. + +"'Very well, miss,' says I, 'your mamma shall soon have something +fresh to talk about, and I hope she'll find it a pleasant change.' + +"There was some of them knew what I meant at once, for after they'd +scampered off I heard shouts up and down the stairs from one to the +other, 'Cook's going!' 'We shall have a new cook soon!' 'What a +lark we'll have with the toffey and the pies! We'll make her do just +as we choose!' + +"'There, now,' thought I to myself, 'there'll be somebody else put +down to baste before long. Well, I'm glad my time's over.' And +thereupon I fell to wishing I was back again in father and mother's +ricketty old cottage, that I'd once been so proud to leave, to go and +live with gentlefolks. But, you see, it was no use wishing, for I'd +my bread to earn, and must turn out somewhere, let it be as +disagreeable as it would. Father and mother were dead, and there was +no ricketty cottage for me to go back to, so I wiped my eyes, and +told myself to make the best of what had to be. + +"Well, dears," pursued Cooky, after a short pause, during which the +little ones looked far more inclined to cry than laugh, "Missus was +quite taken aback when she heard I wouldn't stay any longer. + +"'Cook,' she said, 'I'm perfectly astonished at your want of sense in +not recognizing the value of such a situation as mine! and as to your +complaints about the children, anything more ridiculously +unreasonable I never heard! Such superior, well-taught young people, +you are not very likely to meet with again in a hurry!' + +"'Perhaps not, ma'am,' says I, 'in French, and crochet, and the +piano, and Latin, and things I don't understand, being only a cook. +But I know what behaviour is, and that's what I'm sure the young +ladies and gentlemen have never been taught; or if they have, they're +so slow at taking it in, that I think I shall do better with a family +where the behaviour-lessons come first!' + +"Missus was very angry, and so was I; but at last she said:- + +"'Cook, I shall not argue with you any longer; you know no better, +and I suppose I must make allowances for you.' + +"'I'm much obliged to you, ma'am, I'm sure,' was my answer; 'it's +what I've always done by you ever since I came to the house, and I'll +do it still with pleasure, and think no more of what's been said.' + +"I spoke from my heart, I can tell you, dears, for I felt very sorry +for Missus, and thought she was but a lady after all, and perhaps I'd +hardly made allowances enough. I'd lost my temper, too, as I knew +after she went away. But, you see, while she was there, it was so +mortifying to be spoken to as if all the sense was on her side, when +I knew it was all on mine, wherever the French and crochet may have +been. Well, but the day before I left, I broke down with another of +them, as it's fair that you should know. + +"I'd felt very lonely that day, busy as I was, and in the afternoon I +took myself into the scullery to give the pans a sort of good-bye +cleaning, and be out of everybody's way. But there, in the midst of +it, comes the eldest young gentleman flinging into the kitchen, +shouting, 'Cook! Cook! Where's Cook?' as usual. I thought he was +after some of his old tricks, and I HAD been fretting over those +pans, thinking what a sad job it was to have no home to go to in the +world, so I gave him a very short answer. + +"'Master James,' says I, 'I've done with nonsense now, I can't attend +to you. You must wait till the next cook comes.' + +"But Master James came straight away to the scullery door, and says +he, 'Cook, I'm not coming to teaze. I've brought you a needle-book. +There, Cook! It's full of needles. I put them all in myself. Keep +it, please.' + +"Dear, dear, I can't forget it yet," pursued Cook, "how Master James +stood on the little stone step of the scullery, with his arm +stretched out, and the needle-book that he'd bought for me in his +hand. I don't know how I thanked him, I'm sure; but I had to go back +to the sink and wash the dirt off my hands before I could touch the +pretty little thing, and then I told him I would keep it as long as +ever I lived. + +"He laughed, and says he, 'Now shake hands, Cooky,' and so we shook +hands; and then off he ran, and I went back to my pans and fairly +cried. + +"'Why, Cook,' says I to myself, 'that lad's got as good a heart as +your own, after all. And as to sense and behaviour, they haven't +been forced upon him yet, as they have upon you. Latin's Latin, and +conduct's conduct, and one doesn't teach the other; and it's too bad +to expect more of people than what they've had opportunity for.' + +Well, dears, that was the rule I always went by, and I've been in +many situations since--with single ladies, and single gentlemen, and +large families, and all; and there was something to put up with in +all of them; and they always told me there was a good deal to put up +with in me, and perhaps there was. However, it doesn't matter, so +long as Missus and servant go by one rule--TO MAKE ALLOWANCES, AND +NOT EXPECT MORE FROM PEOPLE THAN WHAT THEY'VE HAD OPPORTUNITY FOR; +and, above all, never to be cocky when all the advantage is on their +own side. It's a good rule, dears, and will stop many a foolish word +and idle tale, if you'll go by it." + +Aunt Judy had finished at last, and she took off the old spectacles +and laid them on the doll's table, and paused. + +"It IS a good rule," observed No. 4, "and I shall go by it, and not +tell real Cook Stories when I grow up, I hope." + +"I love old Cooky," cried No. 6, getting up and hugging her round the +neck; "but is it wrong, Aunt Judy, to tell funny make-believe Cook +Stories, like ours?" + +"Not at all, No. 6," replied Aunt Judy. "My private belief is, that +if you tell funny make-believe Cook Stories while you're little, you +will be ashamed of telling stupid real ones when you're grown up." + + + +RABBITS' TAILS. + + + +"Death and its two-fold aspect! wintry--one, +Cold, sullen, blank, from hope and joy shut out; +The other, which the ray divine hath touch'd, +Replete with vivid promise, bright as spring." +WORDSWORTH. + +"Well then; but you must remember that I have been ill, and cannot be +expected to invent anything very entertaining." + +"Oh, we do remember, indeed, Aunt Judy; we have been so miserable," +was the answer; and the speaker added, shoving her little chair close +up to her sister's:- + +"I said if you were not to get better, I shouldn't want to get better +either." + +"Hush, hush, No. 6!" exclaimed Aunt Judy, quite startled by the +expression; "it was not right to say or think that." + +"I couldn't help it," persisted No. 6. "We couldn't do without you, +I'm sure." + +"We can do without anything which God chooses to take away," was Aunt +Judy's very serious answer. + +"But I didn't want to do without," murmured No. 6, with her eyes +fixed on the floor. + +"Dear No. 6, I know," replied Aunt Judy, kindly; "but that is just +what you must try not to feel." + +"I can't help feeling it," reiterated No. 6, still looking down. + +"You have not tried, or thought about it yet," suggested her sister; +"but do think. Think what poor ignorant infants we all are in the +hands of God, not knowing what is either good or bad for us; and then +you will see how glad and thankful you ought to be, to be chosen for +by somebody wiser than yourself. We must always be contented with +God's choice about whatever happens." + +No. 6 still looked down, as if she were studying the pattern of the +rug, but she saw nothing of it, for her eyes were swimming over with +the tears that had filled into them, and at last she said:- + +"I could, perhaps, about some things, but ONLY NOT THAT about you. +Aunt Judy, you know what I mean." + +Aunt Judy leant back in her chair. "ONLY NOT THAT." It was, as she +knew, the cry of the universal world, although it broke now from the +lips of a child. And it was painful, though touching, to feel +herself the treasure that could not be parted with. + +So there was a silence of some minutes, during which the hand of the +little sister lay in that of the elder one. + +But the latter soon roused up and spoke. + +"I'll tell you what, No. 6, there's nothing so foolish as talking of +how we shall feel, and what we shall do, if so-and-so happens. +Perhaps it never may happen, or, if it does, perhaps we may be helped +to bear it quite differently from what we have expected. So we won't +say anything more about it now." + +"I'm so glad!" exclaimed No. 6, completely reassured and made +comfortable by the cheerful tone of her sister's remark, though she +had but a very imperfect idea of the meaning of it, as she forthwith +proved by rambling off into a sort of self-defence and self- +justification. + +"And I'm not really a baby now, you know, Aunt Judy! And I do know a +great many things that are good and bad for us. I know that YOU are +good for us, even when you scold over sums." + +"That is a grand admission, I must own," replied Aunt Judy, smiling; +"I shall remind you of it some day." + +"Well, you may," cried No. 6, earnestly; and added, "you see I'm not +half as silly as you thought." + +Aunt Judy looked at her, wondering how she should get the child to +understand what was passing through her own mind; wondering, too +whether it was right to make the attempt; and she decided that on the +whole it was; so she answered:- + +"Ay, we grow wise enough among ourselves as we grow older, and get to +know a few more things. You are certainly a little wiser than a baby +in long petticoats, and I am a little wiser than you, and mamma wiser +than us both. But towards God we remain ignorant infants all our +lives. That was what I meant." + +"But surely, Aunt Judy," interrupted No. 6, "mamma and you know--" +There she stopped. + +"Nothing about God's dealings," pursued Aunt Judy, "but that they are +sure to be good for us, even when we like them least, and cannot +understand them at all. We know so little what we ought really to +like and dislike, dear No. 6, that we often fret and cry as foolishly +as the two children did, who, while they were in mourning for their +mother, broke their hearts over the loss of a set of rabbits' tails." + +No. 6 sprang up at the idea. She had never heard of those children +before. Who were they? Had Aunt Judy read of them in a book, or +were they real children? How could they have broken their hearts +about rabbits' tails? It must be a very curious story, and No. 6 +begged to hear it. + +Aunt Judy had, however, a little hesitation about the matter. There +was something sad about the story; and there was no exact teaching to +be got out of it, though certainly if it helped to shake No. 6's +faith in her own wisdom, a good effect would be produced by listening +to it. Also it was not a bad thing now and then to hear of other +people having to bear trials which have not fallen to our own lot. +It must surely have a tendency to soften the heart, and make us feel +more dependent upon the God who gives and takes away. On the whole, +therefore, she would tell the story, so she made No. 6 sit quietly +down again, and began as follows:- + +"There were once upon a time two little motherless girls." + +No. 6's excitement of expectation was hardly over, so she tightened +her hand over Aunt Judy's, and ejaculated:- + +"Poor little things!" + +"You may well say so," continued Aunt Judy. "It was just what +everybody said who saw them at the time. When they went about with +their widowed father in the country village where 'they lived, even +the poor women who stood at their cottage door-steads, would look +after them when they had passed, and say with a sigh:- + +"'Poor little things!' + +"When they went up to London in the winter to stay with their +grandmamma, and walked about in the Square in their little black +frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets, the ladies who saw them,--even +comparative strangers,--would turn round arid say:- + +"'Poor little things!' + +"If visitors came to call at the house, and the children were sent +for into the room, there was sure to be a whispered exclamation +directly among the grown-up people of, 'Poor little things!' But oh, +No. 6! the children themselves did not think about it at all. What +did they know,--poor little things,--of the real misfortune which had +befallen them! They were sorry, of course, at first, when they did +not see their mamma as usual, and when she did not come back to them +as soon as they expected. But some separation had taken place during +her illness; and sometimes before, she had been poorly and got well +again; and sometimes she had gone out visiting, and they had had to +do without her till she returned; and so, although the days and weeks +of her absence went on to months, still it was only the same thing +they had felt before, continued rather longer; and meantime the +little events of each day rose up to distract their attention. They +got up, and dined, and went to bed as usual. They were sometimes +merry, sometimes naughty, as usual. People made them nice presents, +or sent for them to pleasant treats, as usual--perhaps more than +usual; their father did all he could to supply the place of the lost +one, but never could name her name; and soon they forgot that they +had ever had a mamma at all. Soon? Ay, long before friends and +strangers lead left off saying 'Poor little things' at sight of them, +and long before the black frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets were laid +aside, which, indeed, they wore double the usual length of time." + +"And how old were they?" asked No. 6, in a whisper. + +"Four and five," replied Aunt Judy; "old enough to know what they +liked and disliked from hour to hour. Old enough to miss what had +pleased them, till something else pleased them as well. But not old +enough to look forward and know how much a mother is wanted in life; +and, therefore, what a terrible loss the loss of a mother is." + +"It's a very sad story I'm afraid," remarked No. 6. + +"Not altogether," said Aunt Judy, smiling, "as you shall hear. One +day the two little motherless girls went hand in hand across one of +the courts of the great Charity Institution in London, where their +grandmamma lived, into the old archway entrance, and there they stood +still, looking round them, as if waiting for something. The old +archway entrance opened into a square, and underneath its shelter +there was a bench on one side, and on the other the lodge of the +porter, whose business it was to shut up the great gates at night. + +The porter had often before looked at the motherless children as they +passed into the shadow of his archway, and said to himself, 'Poor +little things;' for just so, during many years of his life, he had +watched their young mother pass through, and had exchanged words of +friendly greeting with her. + +"And even now, although it was at least a year and a half since her +death, when he saw the waiting children seat themselves on the bench +opposite his door, the old thought stole over his mind. How sad that +she should have been taken away so early from those little ones! How +sad for them to be left! No one--nothing--in this world, could +supply the loss of her protecting care.--POOR LITTLE THINGS!--and not +the less so because they were altogether unconscious of their +misfortune; and here, with the mourning casting a gloom over their +fair young faces, were looking with the utmost eagerness and delight +towards the doorway,--now and then slipping down from their seats to +take a peep into the Square, and see if what they expected was +coming,--now and then giggling to each other about the grave face of +the old man on the other side of the way. + +"At last, one, who had been peeping a bit as before, exclaimed, with +a smothered shout, 'Here he is!' and then the other joined her, and +the two rushed out together into the Square and stood on the +pavement, stopping the way in front of a lad, who held over his arm a +basket containing hares' and rabbits' skins, in which he carried on a +small trade. + +"They looked up with their smiling faces into his, and he grinned at +them in return, and then they said, 'Have you got any for us to-day?' +on which he set down his basket before them, and told them they might +have one or two if they pleased, and down they knelt upon the +pavement, examining the contents of his basket, and talked in almost +breathless whispers to each other of the respective merits, the +softness, colour, and prettiness, of--what do you think?" + +At the first moment No. 6, being engrossed by the story, could not +guess at all; but in another instant she recollected, and exclaimed:- + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, do you mean those were the rabbits' tails you told +about?" + +"They were indeed, No. 6," replied Aunt Judy; "their grandmamma's +cook had given them one or two sometime before, and there being but +few entertaining games which two children can play at alone, and +these poor little things being a good deal left to themselves, they +invented a play of their own out of the rabbits' tails. I think the +pleasant feel of the fur, which was so nice to cuddle and kiss, +helped them to this odd liking; but whatever may have been the cause, +certain it is they did get quite fond of them--pretended that they +could feel, and were real living things, and talked of them, and to +them, as if they were a party of children. + +"They called them 'Tods' and 'Toddies,' but they had all sorts of +names besides, to distinguish one from the other. There was, +'Whity,' and 'Browny,' and 'Softy,' and 'Snuggy,' and 'Stripy,' and +many others. They knew almost every hair of each of them, and I +believe could have told which was which, in the dark, merely by their +feel. + +"This sounds ridiculous enough, does it not, dear No. 6?" said Aunt +Judy, interrupting herself. + +No. 6 smiled, but she was too much interested to wish to talk; so the +story proceeded. + +"Now you must know that I have looked rather curiously at hares' and +rabbits' tails myself since I first heard the story; and there +actually is more variety in them than you would suppose. Some are +nice little fat things--almost round, with the hair close and fine; +others longer and more skinny, and with poor hair, although what +there is may be of a handsome colour. And as to colour, even in +rabbits' tails, which are white underneath, there are all shades from +grey to dark brown one the upper side; and the patterns and markings +differ, as you know they do on the fur of a cat. In short, there +really is a choice even in hares' and rabbits' tails, and the more +you look at them, the more delicate distinctions you will see. + +"Well, the poor little girls knew all about this, and a great deal +more, I dare say, than I have noticed, for they had played at fancy- +life with them, till the Tods had become far more to them than any +toys they possessed; actually, in fact, things to love; and I dare +say if we could have watched them at night putting their Tods to bed, +we should have seen every one of them kissed. + +"It was a capital thing, as you may suppose, for keeping the children +quiet as well as happy in the nursery, at the top of the London +house, in one particular corner of which the basket of Tods was kept. +But when grandmamma's bell rang, which it did day by day as a +summons, after the parlour breakfast was over, the Tods were put +away; and it was dolls, or reasonable toys of some description, which +the motherless little girls took down with them to the drawing-room; +and I doubt whether either grandmamma or aunt knew of the Tod family +in the basket up-stairs. + +"After the affair had gone on for a little time, the children were +accidentally in the kitchen when the rabbit-skin dealer called, and +the cook begged him to give them a tail or two; and thenceforth, of +course, they looked upon him as one of their greatest friends; and if +they wanted fresh Tods, they would lie in wait for him in the archway +entrance, for fear he should go by without coming in to call at their +grandmamma's house. And on the day I have described, two new +brothers, 'Furry' and 'Buffy,' were introduced to the Tod +establishment, and the talking and delight that ensued, lasted for +the whole afternoon. + +"Nobody knew, I believe; but certainly if anybody had known how the +hearts of those children were getting involved over the dead rabbits' +tails, it would have been only right to have tried to lead their +affection into some better direction. What a waste of good emotions +it was, when they cuddled up their Tods in an evening; invented +histories of what they had said and done during the day, and put them +by at last with caresses something very nearly akin to human love!" + +"Oh, dear Aunt Judy," exclaimed No. 6, "if their poor mamma had but +been there!" + +"All would have been right then, would it not, No. 6?" + +No. 6 said "Yes" from the very depths of her heart. + +"AS IT SEEMS TO US, you should say," continued Aunt Judy; "but that +is all. It could not have seemed so to the God who took their mother +away." + +"Aunt Judy--" + +"No. 6, I am telling you a very serious truth. Had it indeed been +right for the children that their mother should have lived, she would +NOT have been taken away. For some reason or other it was necessary +that they should be without the comfort, and help, and protection, of +her presence in this world. We cannot understand it, but a time may +come when we may see it all as clearly as we now see the folly of +those children who so doted upon senseless rabbits' tails." + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, but it was still very, very sad." + +"Yes, about that there cannot be a doubt, and I am as much inclined +as anybody else to say, 'Poor little things' every time I mention +them. But now let me go on with the story, for it has a sort of end +as well as beginning. The Tod affair came at last to their +grandmamma's ears." + +"I am so glad," cried No. 6. + +"You will not say so when I tell you how it happened," was Aunt +Judy's rejoinder. "The fact was, that one unfortunate day one of the +Tods disappeared. Whether it lead been left out of the basket when +grandmamma's bell rang, and so got swept away by the nurse and burnt, +I cannot say; but, at any rate, when the children went to their play +one morning, 'Softy,' their dear little 'Softy,' was gone. He was +the fattest-furred and finest-haired of all the Tod family, and the +one about whom they invented the prettiest stories; he was, in fact, +the model, the out-of-the-way-amiable pattern Tod. They could not +believe at first that he really was gone. They hunted for him in +every hole and corner of their nursery and bed-room; they looked for +him all along the passages; they tossed all the other Tods out of the +basket to find him, as if they really were--even in their eyes-- +nothing but rabbits' tails; they asked all the servants about him, +till everybody's patience was exhausted, and they got angry; and then +at last the children's hope and temper were both exhausted too, and +they broke out into passionate crying. + +"This was vexatious to the nurse, of course; but her method of +consolation was not very judicious. + +"'Why, bless my heart,' was her beginning, 'what nonsense! Didn't +the children know as well as she did, that hares' and rabbits' tails +were not alive, and couldn't feel? and what could it signify of one +of them was thrown away and lost? They'd a basket-full left besides, +and it was plenty of such rubbish as that! They were all very well +to play with up in the nursery, but they were worth nothing when all +was said and done!' + +This was completely in vain, of course. The children sat on the +nursery floor and cried on just the same; and by-and-by went away to +the corner of the room where the Tod-basket was kept, and bewailed +the loss of poor 'Softy' to his brothers and sisters inside. + +"As the time approached, however, for grandmamma's summoning bell, +the nurse began to wonder what she could do to stop this fretting, +and cool the red eyes; so she tried the coaxing plan, by way of a +change. + +"'If she was such nice little girls with beautiful dolls and toys, +she never would fret so about a rabbit's tail, to be sure! And, +besides, the boy was sure to be round again very soon with the hare +and rabbit skins; and if they would only be good, and dry their eyes, +she would get him to give them as many more as they pleased. Quite +fresh new ones. She dared say they would be as pretty again as the +one that was lost.' + +"If nurse had wished to hit upon an injudicious remark, she could not +have succeeded better. What did they care for 'fresh new' Tods +instead of their dear 'Softy?' And the mere suggestion that any +others could be prettier, turned their regretful love into a sort of +passionate indignation; yet the nurse had meant well, and was +astonished when the conclusion of what was intended to be a kind +harangue, was followed by a louder burst of crying than ever. + +"It must be owned that the little girls had by this time got out of +grief into naughtiness; and there was now quite as much petted temper +as sorrow in their tears; and lo! while they were in the midst of +this fretful condition, grandmamma's summoning bell was heard, and +they were obliged to go down to her. + +"You can just imagine their appearance when they entered the drawing- +room with their eyes red and swelled, their cheeks flushed, and +anything but a pleasant expression over their faces. Of course, +grandmamma and aunt immediately made inquiries as to the reason of so +much disturbance, but the children were scarcely able to utter the +usual 'good morning;' and when called upon to tell their cause of +trouble, did nothing but begin to cry afresh. + +"Whereupon their aunt was dispatched up-stairs to find out what was +amiss; and then, for the first time, she heard from the nurse the +history of the Tod family, the children's devotion to them, and their +present vexatious grief about the loss of a solitary one of what she +called their stupid bits of nonsense. + +"Foolish as the whole affair sounds in looking back upon it, it +certainly was one which required rather delicate handling, and I +doubt whether anybody but a mother could have handled it properly. +Grandmamma and aunt had every wish to do for the best, but they +hardly took enough into consideration, either the bereaved condition +of those motherless little ones, or their highly fanciful turn of +mind. Yet nobody was to blame; the children spent all the summer +with their father in the country, and all the winter with their +grandmamma in London; and, therefore, no continued knowledge of their +characters was possible, for they were always birds of passage +everywhere. Certainly, however, it was a great mistake, under such +circumstances, for grandmamma and aunt to have broken rudely into the +one stronghold of childish comfort, which they had raised up for +themselves." + +Aunt Judy paused, and No. 6 really looked frightened as to what was +coming next, and asked what Aunt Judy could mean that they did. +"Were they very angry?" + +"No, they were not very angry," Aunt Judy said; "perhaps if they had +been only that, the whole thing would have passed over and been +forgotten. + +"But they held grave consultation upon the subject, and made it too +serious, in my opinion, and I dare say you will think so too. +Meantime the naughty children were turned out of the room while they +talked, and the mystery of this, sobered their temper considerably; +so that they made no further disturbance, but wandered up and down +the stairs, and about the hall, in silent discomfort. + +"At one time they thought they heard the drawing-room door open, and +their aunt go up-stairs towards the nursery department again; but +then for a long while they heard no more; and at last, childlike, +began to amuse themselves by seeing how far along the oil-cloth +pattern they could each step, as they walked the length of the hall, +the great object being to stretch from one particular diamond to +another, without touching any intermediate mark. + +"In the midst of the excitement of this, they heard their aunt's +voice calling to them from the middle of the last flight of stairs. +There was something in her face, composed as it was, which alarmed +them directly, and there they stood quite still, gazing at her. + +"'Grandmamma and I,' she began, 'think you have been very silly +indeed in making such a fuss about those rabbits' tails; and you have +been very naughty indeed to-day, VERY NAUGHTY, in crying so +ridiculously, and teazing all the servants, because of one being +lost. You can't play with them rationally, nurse is sure, and so we +think you will be very much better without them. Grandmamma has sent +me to tell you--YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE TODS, AS YOU CALL THEM, ANY +MORE.' + +"Aunt Judy, it was horrible!" cried No. 6; "savage and horrible!" she +repeated, and burst the next instant into a flood of tears. + +"Oh, my old darling No. 6," cried Aunt Judy, covering the sobbing +child quite round with both her arms, "surely YOU are not going into +hysterics about the rabbits' tails too! I doubt if even their little +mammas did that. Come! you must cheer up, or mamma will leave to be +sent for to say that if you are so unreasonable, you must never +listen to Aunt Judy's stories any more." + +No. 6's emotion began to subside under the comfortable embrace, and +Aunt Judy's joke provoked a smile. + +"There now, that's good!" cried Aunt Judy; "and now, if you won't be +ridiculous, I will finish the story. I almost think the prettiest +part is to come." + +This was consolation indeed; but No. 6 could not resist a remark. + +"But, Aunt Judy, wasn't that aunt--" + +"Hush, hush," interrupted Aunt Judy, "I apologized for both aunt and +grandmamma before I told you what they did. They meant to do for the +best, and + + +'The best can do no more.' + + +They cured the evil too, though in what you and I think rather a +rough manner. And rough treatment is sometimes very effectual, +however unpleasant. It was but a preparation for the much harder +disappointments of older life." + +"Poor little things!" ejaculated No. 6, once more. "Just tell me if +they cried dreadfully." + +"I don't think I care to talk much about that, dear No. 6," answered +her sister. "They had cried almost as much as they could do in one +day, and were stupified by the new misfortune, besides which, they +had a feeling all the time of having brought it on themselves by +being dreadfully naughty. It was a sad muddle altogether, I must +confess. The shock upon the poor children's minds at the time must +have been very great, for the memory of that bereavement clung to +them through grown-up life, as a very unpleasant recollection, when a +thousand more important things had passed away forgotten from their +thoughts. In fact, as I said, the motherless little girls really +broke their hearts over a parcel of rabbits' tails. But I must go on +with the story. After a day or two of dull desolation, the children +wearied even of their grief. And both grandmamma and aunt became +very sorry for them, although the fatal subject of the Tods was never +mentioned; but they bought them several beautiful toys which no child +could help looking at or being pleased with. Among these presents +was a brown fur dog, with a very nice face and a pair of bright black +eyes, and a curly tail hung over his back in a particularly graceful +manner; and this was, as you may suppose, in the children's eyes, the +gem of all their new treasures. The feel of him reminded them of the +lost Tods; and in every respect he was, of course, superior. They +named him 'Carlo,' and in a quiet manner established him as the +favourite creature of their play. And thus, by degrees, and as time +went on, their grief for the loss of the Tods abated somewhat; and at +last they began to talk about them to each other, which was a sure +sign that their feelings were softened. + +"But you will never guess what turn their conversation took. They +did not begin to say how sorry they had been, or were; nor did they +make any angry remarks about their aunt's cruelty; but one day as +they were sitting playing with Carlo, in what may be called the Tod +corner of the nursery, the eldest child said suddenly to her sister, +in a low voice + +"'What do you think our aunt has REALLY done with the Tods?' + +"A question which seemed not at all to surprise the other, for she +answered, in the same mysterious tone:- + +"'I don't know, but I don't think she COULD burn them.' + +"'And I don't, either,' was the rejoinder. 'Perhaps she has only put +them somewhere where WE cannot get at them.' + +"The next idea came from the younger child:- + +"'Do you think she'll ever let us have them back again?' + +"But the answer to this was a long shake of the head from the wiser +elder sister. And then they began to play with Carlo again. + +"But after that day they used often to exchange a few words together +on the subject, although only to the same effect--their aunt COULD +not have burnt them, they felt sure. She never said she had burnt +them. She only said, 'YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE TODS ANY MORE.' + +"Perhaps she had only put them by; perhaps she had put them by in +some comfortable place; perhaps they were in their little basket in +some closet, or corner of the house, quite as snug as up in the +nursery. + +"And here the conversation would break off again. As to asking any +questions of their aunt, THAT was a thing that never crossed their +minds. It was impossible; the subject was so fatally serious! . . . +But I believe there was an involuntary peeping about into closets and +out-of-the-way places whenever opportunity offered; yet no result +followed, and the Tods were not found. + +"One night, two or three months later, and just before the little +things were moved back from London to their country home; and when +they were in bed in their sleeping room, as usual, and the nurse had +left them, and had shut the door between them and the day nursery, +where she sat at work, the elder child called out in a whisper to the +younger one:- + +"'Sister, are you asleep?' + +"'No. Why?' + +"'I'll tell you of a place where the Tods may be.' + +"'Where?' + +"'The cellar.' + +"'Do you think so?' + +"'Yes. I think we've looked everywhere else. And I think perhaps +it's very nice down there with bits of sawdust here and there on the +ground. I saw some on the bottle to-day, and it was quite soft. +Aunt would be quite sure we should never see them there. I dare say +it's very snug indeed all among the barrels and empty bottles in that +cellar we once peeped into.' + +"The younger child here began to laugh in delighted amusement, but +the elder one bade her 'hush,' or the nurse would hear them; and then +proceeded whispering as before + +"'It's a great big place, and they could each have a house, and visit +each other, and hide, and make fun.' + +"'And I dare say Softy was put there first,' interposed the younger +sister. + +"'Ay, and how pleased the others would be to find him there! Only +think!' + +"And they DID think. Poor little things, they lay and thought of +that meeting when 'the others' were put in the cellar where 'Softy' +already was, ready to welcome them to his new home; and they talked +of all that might have happened on such an occasion, and told each +other that the Tods were much happier altogether there, than if the +others had remained in the nursery separated from dear little Softy. +In short, they talked till the door opened, and the nurse, +unsuspicious of the state of her young charges, went to bed herself, +and sleep fell on the whole party. + +"But a new world had now opened before them out of the very midst of +their sorrow itself. The fancy home of the Tods was almost a more +available source of amusement, than even playing with the real things +had been; and sometimes in the early morning, sometimes for the +precious half-hour at night, before sleep overtook them, the little +wits went to work with fresh details and suppositions, and they +related to each other, in turns, the imaginary events of the day in +the cellar among the barrels. Each morning, when they went down- +stairs, Carlo was put in the Tod corner of the nursery and instructed +to slip away, as soon as he could manage it, to the Tods in the +cellar, and hear all that they had been about. + +"And marvellous tales Mr. Carlo used to bring back, if the children's +accounts to each other were to be trusted. Such running about, to be +sure, took place among those barrels and empty bottles. Such playing +at bo-peep. Such visits of 'Furry' and his family to 'Buffy' and HIS +family, when the little 'Furrys' and 'Buffys' could not be kept in +order, but would go peeping into bungholes, and tumbling nearly +through, and having to be picked out by Carlo, drabbled and chilled, +but ready for a fresh frolic five minutes after! + +"Such comical disputes, too, they had, as to how far the grounds +round each Tod's house extended; such funny adventures of getting +into their neighbour's corner instead of their own, in the dim light +that prevailed, and being mistaken for a thief; when Carlo had to +come and act as judge among them, and make them kiss and be friends +all round! + +"Such dinners, too, Carlo brought them, as he passed through the +kitchen on his road to the cellar, and watched his opportunity to +carry off a few un-missed little bits for his friends below. Dear +me! his contrivances on that score were endless, and the odd things +he got hold of sometimes by mistake, in his hurry, were enough to +kill the Tods with laughing--to say nothing of the children who were +inventing the history! + +"Then the care they took to save the little drops at the bottom of +the bottles, for Carlo, in return for all the trouble he had, was +most praiseworthy; and sometimes, when there was a rather larger +quantity than usual, they would have SUCH a feast!--and drink the +healths of their dear little mistresses in the nursery up-stairs. + +"In short, it was as perfect a fancy as their love for the Tods, and +their ideas of enjoyment could make it. Nothing uncomfortable, +nothing sad, was ever heard of in that cellar-home of their lost +pets. No quarrelling, no crying, no naughtiness, no unkindness, were +supposed to trouble it. Nothing was known of, there, but comfort and +fun, and innocent blunders and jokes, which ended in fun and comfort +again. One thing, therefore, you see, was established as certain +throughout the whole of the childish dream:- the departed favourites +were all perfectly happy, as happy as it was possible to be; and they +sent loving messages by Carlo to their old friends to say so, and to +beg them not to be sorry for THEM, for, excepting that they would +like some day to see those old friends again, they had nothing left +to wish for in their new home:- + +"And here the Tod story ends!" remarked Aunt Judy, in conclusion, +"and I beg you to observe, No. 6, that, like all my stories, it ends +happily. The children had now got hold of an amusement which was +safe from interference, and which lasted--I am really afraid to say +how long; for even after the fervour of their Tod love had abated, +they found an endless source of invention and enjoyment in the +cellar-home romance, and told each other anecdotes about it, from +time to time, for more, I believe, than a year." + +When Aunt Judy paused here, as if expecting some remark, all that No. +6 could say, was:- + +"Poor little things!" + +"Ay, they were still that," exclaimed Aunt Judy, "even in the midst +of their new-found comfort. Oh, No. 6, when one thinks of the +strange way in which they first of all created a sorrow for +themselves, and then devised for themselves its consolation, what a +pity it seems that no good was got out of it!" + +It was not likely that No. 6 should guess what the good was which +Aunt Judy thought might have been got out of it; and so she said; +whereupon Aunt Judy explained:- + +"Did it not offer a quite natural opportunity,--if any kind friend +had but known of it,--of speaking to those children of some of the +sacred hopes of our Christian faith?--of leading them, through kind +talk about their own pretty fancies, to the subject of WHAT REALLY +BECOMES of the dear friends who are taken away from us by death? + +"Had I been THEIR Aunt Judy," she continued, "I should have thought +it no cruelty, but kindness then, to have spoken to them about their +lost mother, and told them that she was living now in a place where +she was much, much happier, than she had ever been before, and where +one of the very few things she had left to wish for, was, that one +day she might see them again: not in this world, where people are so +often uncomfortable and sad, but in that happy one where there is no +more sorrow, or crying, for God Himself wipes away the tears from all +eyes. + +"I should have told them besides," pursued Aunt Judy, "that it would +not please their dear mother at all for them to fret for her, and +FANCY THEY COULDN'T DO WITHOUT HER, and be discontented because God +had taken her away, and think it would have been much better for them +if He had not done so--(as if He did not know a thousand times better +than they could do:)--but that it would please her very much for them +to pray to God to make them good, so that they might all meet +together at last in that very happy place. + +"In short, No. 6, I would have led them, if possible, to make a +comforting reality to themselves of the next world, as they had +already got a comforting fancy out of the cellar-dream of the Tods. +And that is the good, dear child, which I meant might have been got +out of the Tod adventure." + +Aunt Judy ceased, but there was no chance of seeing the effect of +what she had said on No. 6's face, for it was laid on her sister's +lap; probably to hide the tears which would come into her eyes at +Aunt Judy's allusion to what she had said about HER. + +At last a rather husky voice spoke:- + +"You can't expect people to like what is so very sad, even if it is-- +what you call--right--and all that." + +"No! neither does God expect it!" was Aunt Judy's earnest reply. "We +are allowed to be sorry when trials come, for we feel the suffering, +and cannot at present understand the blessing or necessity of it. +But we are not allowed to 'sorrow without hope;' and we are not +allowed, even when we are most sorry, to be rebellious, and fancy we +could choose better for ourselves than God chooses for us." + +Aunt Judy's lesson, as well as story, was ended now, and she began +talking over the entertaining part of the Tod history, and then went +on to other things, till No. 6 was quite herself again, and wanted to +know how much was true about the motherless little girls; and when +she found from Aunt Judy's answer that the account was by no means +altogether an invention, she went into a fever-fidget to know who the +children were, and what had become of them; and finally settled that +the one thing in the world she most wished for, was to see them. + +Nor would she be persuaded that this was a foolish idea, until Aunt +Judy asked her how she would like to be introduced to a couple of +VERY old women, with huge hooked noses, and beardy, nut-cracker +chins, and be told that THOSE were the motherless little girls who +had broken their hearts over rabbits' tails!--an inquiry which +tickled No. 6's fancy immensely, so that she began to laugh, and +suggest a few additions of her own to the comical picture, in the +course of doing which, she fortunately quite lost sight of the "one +thing" which a few minutes before she had "most wished for in the +world!" + + + +"OUT OF THE WAY" + + + +"Oh wonderful Son that can so astonish a Mother!" +HAMLET. + +"What a horrid nuisance you are, No. 8, brushing everything down as +you go by! Why can't you keep out of the way?" + +"Oh, you mustn't come here, No. 8. Aunt Judy, look! he's sitting on +my doll's best cloak. Do tell him to go away." + +"I can't have you bothering me, No. 8; don't you see how busy I am, +packing? Get away somewhere else." + +"You should squeeze yourself into less than nothing, and be nowhere, +No. 8." + +The suggestion, (uttered with a jocose grin,) came from a small boy +who had ensconced himself in the corner of a window, where he was +sitting on his heels, painting the Union Jack of a ship in the +Illustrated London News. He had certainly acted on the advice he +gave, as nearly as was possible. Surely no little boy of his age +ever got into so small a compass before, or in a position more +effectually out of everybody's possible way. The window corner led +nowhere, and there was nothing in it for anybody to want. + +"No. 8, I never saw anything so tiresome as you are. Why will you +poke your nose in where you're not wanted? You're always in the +way." + + +"'He poked his flat nose into every place;'" + + +sung, sotto voce, by the small boy in the window corner. + +No. 8 did not stop to dispute about it, though, in point of fact, his +nose was not flat, so at least in that respect he did not resemble +the duck in the song. + +He had not, however, been successful in gaining the attention of his +friends down-stairs, so he dawdled off to make an experiment in +another quarter. + +"Why, you're not coming into the nursery now, Master No. 8, surely! +I can't do with you fidgetting about among all the clothes and +packing. There isn't a minute to spare. You might keep out of the +way till I've finished." + +"Now, Master No. 8, you must be off. There's no time or room for you +in the kitchen this morning. There's ever so many things to get +ready yet. Run away as fast as you can." + +"What ARE you doing in the passages, No. 8? Don't you see that you +are in everybody's way? You had really better go to bed again." + +But the speaker hurried forward, and No. 8 betook himself to the +staircase, and sat down exactly in the middle of the middle flight. +And there be amused himself by peeping through the banisters into the +hall, where people were passing backwards and forwards in a great +fuss; or listening to the talking and noise that were going on in the +rooms above. + +But be was not "out of the way" there, as he soon learnt. Heavy +steps were presently heard along the landing, and heavy steps began +to descend the stairs. Two men were carrying down a heavy trunk. + +"You'll have to move, young gentleman, if you please," observed one; +"you're right in the way just there!" + +No. 8 descended with all possible speed, and arrived on the mat at +the bottom. + +"There now, I told you, you were always in the way," was the greeting +he received. "How stupid it is! Try under the table, for pity's +sake." + +Under the table! it was not a bad idea; moreover, it was a new one-- +quite a fresh plan. No. 8 grinned and obeyed. The hall table was no +bad asylum, after all, for a little boy who was always in the way +everywhere else; besides, he could see everything that was going on. +No. 8 crept under, and squatted himself on the cocoa-nut matting. He +looked up, and looked round, and felt rather as if he was in a tent, +only with a very substantial covering over his head. + +Presently the dog passed by, and was soon coaxed to lie down in the +table retreat by the little boy's side, and the two amused themselves +very nicely together. The fact was, the family were going from home, +and the least the little ones could do during the troublesome +preparation, was not to be troublesome themselves; but this is +sometimes rather a difficult thing for little ones to accomplish. +Nevertheless, No. 8 had accomplished it at last. + +"Capital, No. 8! you and the dog are quite a picture. If I had time, +I would make a sketch of you." + +That was the remark of the first person who went by afterwards, and +No. 8 grinned as he heard it. + +"Well done, No. 8! that's the best contrivance I ever saw!" + +Remark the second, followed by a second grin. + +"Why, you don't mean to say that you're under the table, Master No. +8? Well you ARE a good boy! I'm sure I'll tell your mamma." + +Another grin. + +"You dear old fellow, to put yourself so nicely out of the way! +You're worth I don't know what." + +Grin again. + +"Master No. 8 under the table, to be sure! Well, and a very nice +place it is, and quite suitable. Ever so much better than the hot +kitchen, when there's baking and all sorts of things going on. Here, +lovey! here's a little cake that was spared, that I was taking to the +parlour; but, as you're there, you shall have it." + +No. 8 grinned with all his heart this time. + +"I wish I'd thought of that! Why, I could have painted my ship there +without being squeezed!" + +It needs scarcely to be told that this was the observation of the +small boy who had watched an opportunity for emerging from the window +corner without fuss, and was now carrying his little paint-box up- +stairs to be packed away in the children's bag. As he spoke, he +stooped down to look at No. 8 and the dog, and smiled his +approbation, and No. 8 smiled in return. + +"No. 8, how snug you do look!" + +Once more an answering grin. + +"No. 8, you're the best boy in the world; and if you stay there till +Nurse is ready for you, you shall have a penny all to yourself." + +No. 8's grin was accompanied by a significant nod this time, to show +that he accepted the bargain. + +"My darling No. 8, you may come out now. There! give me a kiss, and +get dressed as fast as you can. The fly will be here directly. +You're a very good boy indeed." + +"No. 8, you're the pattern boy of the family, and I shall come with +you in the fly, and tell you a story as we go along for a reward." + +No. 8 liked both the praise, and the cake, and the penny, and the +kiss, and the promise of the rewarding story for going under the +table; but the why and wherefore of all these charming facts, was a +complete mystery to him. What did that matter, however? He ran up- +stairs, and got dressed, and was ready before anyone else; and, by a +miracle of good fortune, was on the steps, and not in the middle of +the carriage-drive, when the fly arrived, which was to take one batch +of the large family party to the railway station. + +No one was as fond of the fly conveyance as of the open carriage; +for, in the first place, it was usually very full and stuffy; and, in +the second, very little of the country could be seen from the +windows. + +But, on the present occasion, Aunt Judy having offered her services +to accompany the fly detachment, there was a wonderful alteration of +sentiment, as to who should be included. Aunt Judy, however, had her +own ideas. The three little ones belonged to the fly, as it were by +ancient usage and custom, and more than five it would not hold. + +Five it would hold, however, and five accordingly got in, No. 4 +having pleaded her own cause to be "thrown in:" and at last, with +nurses and luggage and No. 5 outside, away they drove, leaving the +open carriage and the rest to follow. + +Nothing is perfect in this world. Those who had the airy drive +missed the story, and regretted it; but it was fair that the pleasure +should be divided. + +And, after all, although the fly might be a little stuffy and closely +packed, and although it cost some trouble to settle down without +getting crushed, and make footstools of carpet bags, and let down all +the windows,--the commotion was soon over; and it was a wonderful +lull of peace and quietness, after the confusion and worry of packing +and running about, to sit even in a rattling fly. And so for five +minutes and more, all the travellers felt it to be, and a soothing +silence ensued; some leaning back, others looking silently out at the +retreating landscape, or studying with earnestness the wonderful red +plush lining of the vehicle itself. + +But presently, after the rest had lasted sufficiently long to recruit +all the spirits, No. 7 remarked, not speaking to anybody in +particular, "I thought Aunt Judy was going to tell us a story." + +No. 7 was a great smiler in a quiet way, and he smiled now, as he +addressed his remark to the general contents of the fly. + +Aunt Judy laughed, and inquired for whom the observation was meant, +adding her readiness to begin, if they would agree to sit quiet and +comfortable, without shuffling up and down, or disputing about space +and heat; and, these points being agreed to, she began her story as +follows:- + +"There were once upon a time a man and his wife who had an only son. +They were Germans, I believe, for all the funny things that happen, +happen in Germany, as you know by Grimm's fairy tales. + +"Well! this man, Franz, had been a watchmaker and mender in an old- +fashioned country town, and he had made such a comfortable fortune by +the business, that he was able to retire before he grew very old; and +so he bought a very pretty little villa in the outskirts of the town, +had a garden full of flowers with a fountain in the middle, and +enjoyed himself very much. + +"His wife enjoyed herself too, but never so much as when the +neighbours, as they passed by, peeped over the palings, and said, +'What a pretty place! What lucky people the watchmaker and his wife +are! How they must enjoy themselves!' + +"On such occasions, Madame Franz would run to her husband, crying +out, 'Come here, my dear, as fast as you can! Come, and listen to +the neighbours, saying, how we must enjoy ourselves!' + +"Franz was very apt to grunt when his wife summoned him in this +manner, and, at any rate, never would go as she requested; but little +Franz, the son, who was very like his mother, and had got exactly her +turn-up nose and sharp eyes, would scamper forward in a moment to +hear what the neighbours had to say, and at the end would exclaim:- + +"'Isn't it grand, mother, that everybody should think that?' + +"To which his mother would reply:- + +"'It is, Franz, dear! I'm so glad you feel for your mother!' and +then the two would embrace each other very affectionately several +times, and Madame Franz would go to her household business, rejoicing +to think that, if her husband did not quite sympathize with her, her +son did. + +"Young Franz had been somewhat spoilt in his childhood, as only +children generally are. As to his mother, from there being no +brothers and sisters to compare him with, she thought such a boy had +never been seen before; and she told old Franz so, so often, that at +last he began to believe it too. And then they got all sorts of +masters for him, to teach him everything they could think of, and +qualify him, as his mother said, for some rich young lady to fall in +love with. That was her idea of the way in which he was one day to +make his fortune. + +"At last, a time came when his mother thought the young gentleman +quite finished and complete; fit for anything and anybody, and likely +to create a sensation in the world. So she begged old Franz to +dismiss all his masters, and give him a handsome allowance, that he +might go off on his travels and make his fortune, in the manner +before mentioned. + +"Old Mr. Franz shook his head at first, and called it all a parcel of +nonsense. Moreover, he declared that Master Franz was a mere child +yet, and would get into a hundred foolish scrapes in less than a +week; but mamma expressed her opinion so positively, and repeated it +so often, that at last papa began to entertain it too, and gave his +consent to the plan. + +"The fact was, though I am sorry to say it, Mr. Franz was henpecked. +That is, his wife was always trying to make him obey her, instead of +obeying him, as she ought to have done; and she had managed him so +long, that she knew she could persuade him, or talk him (which is +much the same thing) into anything, provided she went on long enough. + +"So she went on about Franz going off on his travels with a handsome +allowance, till Papa Franz consented, and settled an income upon him, +which, if they had been selfish parents, they would have said they +could not afford; but, as it was, they talked the matter over +together, and told each other that it was very little two old souls +like themselves would want when their gay son was away; and so they +would draw in, and live quite quietly, as they used to do in their +early days before they grew rich, and would let the lad have the +money to spend upon his amusements. + +"Young Franz either didn't know, or didn't choose to think about +this. Clever as he was about many things, he was not clever enough +to take in the full value of the sacrifices his parents were making +for him; so he thanked them lightly for the promised allowance, +rattled the first payment cheerfully into his purse, and smiled on +papa and mamma with almost condescending complacency. When he was +equipped in his best suit, and just ready for starting, his mother +took him aside. + +"'Franz, my dear,' she said, 'you know how much money and pains have +been spent on your education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and +talk, and make yourself heard wherever you go. Now mind you do make +yourself heard, or who is to find out your merits? Don't be shy and +downcast when you come among strangers. All you have to think about, +with your advantages, is to make yourself agreeable. That's the rule +for you! Make yourself agreeable wherever you go, and the wife and +the fortune will soon be at your feet. And, Franz,' continued she, +laying hold of the button of his coat, 'there is something else. You +know, I have often said that the one only thing I could wish +different about you is, that your nose should not turn up quite so +much. But you see, my darling boy, we can't alter our noses. +Nevertheless, look here! you can incline your head in such a manner +as almost to hide the little defect. See--this way--there--let me +put it as I mean--a little down and on one side. It was the way I +used to carry my head before I married, or I doubt very much whether +your father would have looked my way. Think of this when you're in +company. It's a graceful attitude too, and you will find it much +admired.' + +"Franz embraced his mother, and promised obedience to all her +commands; but he was glad when her lecture ended, for he was not very +fond of her remarks upon his nose. Just then the door of his +father's room opened, and he called out:- + +"'Franz, my dear, I want to speak to you.' + +"Franz entered the room, and 'Now, my dear boy,' said papa, 'before +you go, let me give you one word of parting advice; but stop, we will +shut the door first, if you please. That's right. Well, now, look +here. I know that no pains or expense have been spared over your +education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and talk, and make +yourself heard wherever you go.' + +"'My dear sir,' interrupted Franz, 'I don't think you need trouble +yourself to go on. My mother has just been giving me the advice +beforehand.' + +"'No, has she though?' cried old Franz, looking up in his son's face; +but then he shook his head, and said:- + +"'No, she hasn't, Franz; no, she hasn't; so listen to me. We've all +made a fuss about you, and praised whatever you've done, and you've +been a sort of idol and wonder among us. But, now you're going among +strangers, you will find yourself Mr. Nobody, and the great thing is, +you must be contented to be Mr. Nobody at first. Keep yourself in +the background, till people have found out your merits for +themselves; and never get into anybody's way. Keep OUT of the way, +in fact, that's the safest rule. It's the secret of life for a young +man--How impatient you look! but mark my words:- all you have to +attend to, with your advantages, is, to keep out of the way.' + +"After this bit of advice, the father bestowed his blessing on his +dear Franz, and unlocked the door, close to which they found Mrs. +Franz, waiting rather impatiently till the conference was over. + +"'What a time you have been, Franz!' she began; but there was no time +to talk about it, for they all knew that the coach, or post-wagon, as +they call it in Germany, was waiting. + +"Mrs. Franz wrung her son's hand. + +"'Remember what I've said, my dearest Franz!' she cried. + +"'Trust me!' was Mr. Franz's significant reply. + +"'You'll not forget my rule?' whispered papa. + +"'Forget, sir? no, that's not possible,' answered + +Mr. Franz in a great hurry, as he ran off to catch the post-wagon; +for they could see it in the distance beginning to move, though part +of the young gentleman's luggage was on board. + +"Well! he was just in time; but what do you think was the next thing +he did, after keeping the people waiting? A sudden thought struck +him, that it would be as well for the driver and passengers to know +how well educated he had been, so he began to give the driver a few +words of geographical information about the roads they were going. + +"'Jump in directly, sir, if you please,' was the driver's gruff +reply. + +"'Certainly not, till I've made you understand what I mean,' says +Master Franz, quite facetiously. But, then, smack went the whip, and +the horses gave a jolt forwards, and over the tip of the learned +young gentleman's foot went the front wheel. + +"It was a nasty squeeze, though it might have been worse, but Franz +called out very angrily, something or other about 'disgraceful +carelessness,' on which the driver smacked his whip again, and +shouted:- + +"'Gentlemen that won't keep out of the way, must expect to have their +toes trodden on.' Everybody laughed at this, but Franz was obliged +to spring inside, without taking any notice of the joke, as the coach +was now really going on; and if he had began to talk, he would have +been left behind. + +"And now," continued Aunt Judy, stopping herself, "while Franz is +jolting along to the capital town of the country, you shall tell me +whose advice you think he followed when he got to the end of the +journey, and began life for himself--his father's or his mother's?" + +There was a universal cry, mixed with laughter, of "His mother's!" + +"Quite right," responded Aunt Judy. "His mother's, of course. It +was far the most agreeable, no doubt. Keeping out of the way is a +rather difficult thing for young folks to manage." + +A glance at No. 8 caused that young gentleman's face to grin all +over, and Aunt Judy proceeded:- + +"After his arrival at the great hotel of the town, he found there was +to be a public dinner there that evening, which anybody might go to, +who chose to pay for it; and this he thought would be a capital +opportunity for him to begin life: so, accordingly, he went up- +stairs to dress himself out in his very best clothes for the +occasion. + +"And then it was that, as he sat in front of the glass, looking at +his own face, while he was brushing his hair and whiskers, and +brightening them up with bear's-grease, he began to think of his +father and mother, and what they had said, and what he had best do. + +"'An excellent, well-meaning couple, of course, but as old-fashioned +as the clocks they used to mend,' was his first thought. 'As to +papa, indeed, the poor old gentleman thinks the world has stood still +since he was a young man, thirty years ago. His stiff notions were +all very well then, perhaps, but in these advanced times they are +perfectly quizzical. Keep out of the way, indeed! Why, any +ignoramus can do that, I should think! Well, well, he means well, +all the same, so one must not be severe. As to mamma now--poor +thing--though she IS behindhand herself in many ways, yet she DOES +know a good thing when she sees it, and that's a great point. She +can appreciate the probable results of my very superior education and +appearance. To be sure, she's a little silly over that nose affair;- +-but women will always be silly about something.' + +"Nevertheless, at this point in his meditations, Master Franz might +have been seen inclining his head down on one side, just as his +mother had recommended, and then giving a look at the mirror, to see +whether the vile turn-up did really disappear in that attitude. I +suspect, however, that he did not feel quite satisfied about it, for +he got rather cross, and finished his dressing in a great hurry, but +not before he had settled that there could be only one opinion as to +whose advice he should be guided by--dear mamma's. + +"'Should it fail,' concluded he to himself, as he gave the last smile +at the looking-glass, 'there will be poor papa's old-world notion to +fall back upon, after all.' + +"Now, you must know that Master Franz had never been at one of these +public dinners before, so there is no denying that when he entered +the large dining-hall, where there was a long table, set out with +plates, and which was filling fast with people, not one of whom he +knew, he felt a little confused. But he repeated his mother's words +softly to himself, and took courage: 'DON'T BE SHY AND DOWNCAST WHEN +YOU COME AMONG STRANGERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT, WITH YOUR +ADVANTAGES, IS TO MAKE YOURSELF AGREEABLE;' and, on the strength of +this, he passed by the lower end of the table, where there were +several unoccupied places, and walked boldly forward to the upper +end, where groups of people were already seated, and were talking and +laughing together. + +"In the midst of one of these groups, there was one unoccupied seat, +and in the one next to it sat a beautiful, well-dressed young lady. +'Why, this is the very thing,' thought Mr. Franz to himself. 'Who +knows but what this is the young lady who is to make my fortune?' + +"There was a card, it is true, in the plate in front of the vacant +seat, but 'as to that,' thought Franz, 'first come, first served, I +suppose; I shall sit down!' + +"And sit down the young gentleman accordingly did in the chair by the +beautiful young lady, and even bowed and smiled to her as he did so. + +"But the next instant he was tapped on the shoulder by a waiter. + +"'The place is engaged, sir!' and the man pointed to the card in the +plate. + +"'Oh, if that's all,' was Mr. Franz's witty rejoinder, 'here's +another to match!' and thereupon he drew one of his own cards from +his pocket, threw it into the plate, and handed the first one to the +astonished waiter, with the remark:- + +"'The place is engaged, my good friend, you see!' + +"The young goose actually thought this impudence clever, and glanced +across the table for applause as he spoke. But although Mamma +Watchmaker, if she had heard it, might have thought it a piece of +astonishing wit, the strangers at the public table were quite of a +different opinion, and there was a general cry of 'Turn him out!' + +"'Turn me out!' shouted Mr. Franz, jumping up from his chair, as if +he intended to fight them all round; and there is no knowing what +more nonsense he might not have talked, but that a very sonorous +voice behind him called out,--a hand laying hold of him by the +shoulders at the same time - + +"'Young man, I'll trouble you to get out of my chair, and' (a little +louder) 'out of my way, and' (a little louder still) 'to KEEP out of +my way!' + +"Franz felt himself like a child in the grasp of the man who spoke; +and one glimpse he caught of a pair of coal-black eyes, two frowning +eye-brows, and a moustachioed mouth, nearly frightened him out of his +wits, and he was half way down the room before he knew what was +happening; for, after the baron let him go, the waiter seized him and +hustled him along, till he came to the bottom of the table; where, +however, there was now no room for him, as all the vacant places had +been filled up; so he was pushed finally to a side-table in a corner, +at which sat two men in foreign dresses, not one word of whose +language he could understand. + +"These two fellows talked incessantly together too, which was all the +more mortifying, because they gesticulated and laughed as if at some +capital joke. Franz was very quiet at first, for the other adventure +had sobered him, but presently, with his mother's advice running in +his head, he resolved to make himself agreeable, if possible. + +"So, at the next burst of merriment, he affected to have entered into +the joke, threw himself back in his chair and laughed as loudly as +they did. The men stared for a second, then frowned, and then one of +them shouted something to him very loudly, which he did not +understand; so he placed his hand on his heart, put on an expressive +smile, and offered to shake hands. Thought he, that will be +irresistible! But he was mistaken. The other man now called loudly +to the waiter, and a moment after, Franz found himself being conveyed +by the said waiter through the doorway into the hall, with the remark +resounding in his ears:- + +"'What a foolish young gentleman you must be! Why can't you keep out +of people's way?' + +"'My good friend,' cried Mr. Franz, 'that's not my plan at present. +I'm trying to make myself agreeable.' + +"'Oh--pooh!--bother agreeable,' cried the waiter. 'What's the use of +making yourself agreeable, if you're always in the way? Here!--step +back, sir! don't you see the tray coming?' + +"Franz had not noticed it, and would probably have got a thump on the +head from it, if his friend the waiter had not pulled him back. The +man was a real good-natured, smiling German, and said:- + +"'Come, young gentleman, here's a candle;--you've a bed-room here, of +course. Now, you take my advice, and go to bed. You WILL be out of +the way there, and perhaps you'll get up wiser to-morrow.' + +"Franz took the candlestick mechanically, but, said he:- + +"'I understood there was to be dancing here tonight, and I can dance, +and--' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother dancing,' interrupted the waiter. 'What's the use +of dancing, if you're to be in everybody's way, and I know you will; +you can't help it. Here, be advised for once, and go to bed. I'll +bring you up some coffee before long. Go quietly up now--mind. Good +night.' + +"Two minutes afterwards, Mr. Franz found himself walking up-stairs, +as the waiter had ordered him to do, though he muttered something +about 'officious fellow' as he went along. + +"And positively he went to bed, as the officious fellow recommended; +and while he lay there waiting for the coffee, he began wondering +what COULD be the cause of the failure of his attempts to make +himself agreeable. Surely his mother was right--surely there could +be no doubt that, with his advantages--but he did not go on with the +sentence. + +"Well, after puzzling for some time, a bright thought struck him. It +was entirely owing to that stupid nose affair, which his mother was +so silly about. Of course that was it! He had done everything else +she recommended, but he could not keep his head down at the same +time, so people saw the snub! Well, he would practise the attitude +now, at any rate, till the coffee came! + +"No sooner said than done. Out of bed jumped Mr. Franz, and went +groping about for the table to find matches to light the candle. +But, unluckily, he had forgotten how the furniture stood, so he got +to the door by a mistake, and went stumbling up against it, just as +the waiter with the coffee opened it on the other side. + +"There was a plunge, a shout, a shuffling of feet, and then both were +on the floor, as was also the hot coffee, which scalded Franz's bare +legs terribly. + +"The waiter got up first, and luckily it was the 'officious fellow' +with the smiling face. And said he:- + +"'What a miserable young man you must be, to be sure! Why, you're +NEVER out of the way, not even when you're gone to bed!' + +This last anecdote caused an uproar of delight in the fly, and so +much noise, that Aunt Judy had to call the party to order, and talk +about the horses being frightened, after which she proceeded:- + +"I am sorry to say Mr. Franz did not get up next morning as much +wiser as the waiter had expected, for he laid all the blame of his +misfortunes on his nose instead of his impertinence, and never +thought of correcting himself, and being less intrusive. + +"On the contrary, after practising holding his head down for ten +minutes before the glass, he went out to the day's amusements, as +saucy and confident as ever. + +"Now there is no time," continued Aunt Judy, "for my telling you all +Mr. Franz's funny scrapes and adventures. When we get to the end of +the journey, you must invent some for yourselves, and sit together, +and tell them in turns, while we are busy unpacking. I will only +just say, that wherever he went, the same sort of things happened to +him, because he was always thrusting himself forward, and always +getting pushed back in consequence. + +"Out of the public gardens he got fairly turned at last, because he +would talk politics to some strange gentlemen on a bench. They got +up and walked away, but, five minutes afterwards, a very odd-looking +man looked over Franz's shoulder, and said significantly, 'I +recommend you to leave these gardens, sir, and walk elsewhere.' And +poor Franz, who had heard of such things as prisons and dungeons for +political offenders, felt a cold shudder run through him, and took +himself off with all possible speed, not daring to look behind him, +for fear he should see that dreadful man at his heels. Indeed, he +never felt safe till he was in his bed-room again, and had got the +waiter to come and talk to him. + +"'Dear me,' said the waiter, 'what a very silly young gentleman you +must be, to go talking away without being asked!' + +"'But,' said Franz, 'you don't consider what a superior education I +have had. I can talk and make myself heard--' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother talking,' interrupted the waiter; 'what's the use +of talking when nobody wants to listen? Much better go to bed.' + +"Franz would not give in yet, but was comforted to find the waiter +did not think he would be thrown into prisons and dungeons; so he +dined, and dressed, and went to the theatre to console himself, where +however he MADE HIMSELF HEARD so effectually--first applauding, then +hissing, and even speaking his opinions to the people round him--that +a set of young college students combined together to get rid of him, +and, I am sorry to add, they made use of a little kicking as the +surest plan; and so, before half the play was over, Mr. Franz found +himself in the street! + +"Now, then, I have told you enough of Mr. Franz's follies, except the +one last adventure, which made him alter his whole plan of +proceeding. + +"He had had two letters of introduction to take with him: one to an +old partner of his father's, who had settled in the capital some +years before; another to some people of more consequence, very +distant family connections. And, of course, Mr. Franz went there +first, as there seemed a nice chance of making his fortune among such +great folks. + +"And really the great folks would have been civil enough, but that he +soon spoilt everything by what HE called 'making himself agreeable.' +He was too polite, too affectionate, too talkative, too instructive, +by half! He assured the young ladies that he approved very highly of +their singing; trilled out a little song of his own, unasked, at his +first visit; fondled the pet lap-dog on his knee; congratulated papa +on looking wonderfully well for his age; asked mamma if she had tried +the last new spectacles; and, in short, gave his opinions, and +advice, and information, so freely, that as soon as he was gone the +whole party exclaimed:- + +"'What an impertinent jackanapes!' a jackanapes being nothing more +nor less than a human monkey. + +"This went on for some time, for he called very often, being too +stupid, in spite of his supposed cleverness, to take the hints that +were thrown out, that such repeated visits were not wanted. + +"At last, however, the family got desperate and one morning when he +arrived, (having teazed them the day before for a couple of hours,) +he saw nobody in the drawing-room when he was ushered in. + +"Never mind, thought he, they'll be here directly when they know I'M +come! And having brought a new song in his pocket, which he had been +practising to sing to them, he sat down to the piano, and began +performing alone, thinking how charmed they would be to hear such +beautiful sounds in the distance! + +"But, in the middle of his song, he heard a discordant shout, and +jumping up, discovered the youngest little Missy hid behind the +curtain, and crying tremendously. + +"Mr. Franz became quite theatrical. 'Lovely little pet, where are +your sisters? Have they left my darling to weep alone?' + +"'They shut the door before I could get through,' sobbed the lovely +little pet; 'and I won't be your darling a bit!' + +"Mr. Franz laughed heartily, and said how clever she was, took her on +his knee, told her her sisters would be back again directly, and +finished his remark by a kiss. + +"Unfortunate Mr. Franz! The young lady immediately gave him an +unmistakable box on the ear with her small fist, and vociferated + +"No, they won't, they won't, they won't! They'll never come back +till you're gone! They've gone away to get out of YOUR way, because +you won't keep out of THEIRS. And you're a forward puppy, papa says, +and can't take a hint; and you're always in everybody's way, and I'LL +get out of your way, too!' + +"Here the little girl began to kick violently; but there was no +occasion. Mr. Franz set her down, and while she ran off to her +sisters, he rushed back to the hotel, and double-locked himself into +his room. + +"After a time, however, he sent for his friend the waiter, for he +felt that a talk would do him good. + +"But the 'officious fellow' shook his head terribly. + +"'How many more times am I to tell you what a foolish young gentleman +you are?' cried he. 'Will you never get up wiser any morning of the +year?' + +"'I thought,' murmured Franz, in broken, almost sobbing accents--'I +thought--the young ladies--would have been delighted--with--my song;- +-you see--I've been--so well taught--and I can sing--' + +"'Oh! pooh, pooh, pooh!' interrupted the waiter once more. 'Bother +singing and everything else, if you've not been asked! Much better +go to bed!' + +"Poor Franz! It was hard work to give in, and he made a last effort. + +"'Don't you think--after all--that the prejudice--is owing to--what I +told you about:- people do so dislike a snub-nose?' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother a snub-nose,' exclaimed the waiter; 'what will +your nose signify, if you don't poke it in everybody's way?' + +"And with this conclusion Mr. Franz was obliged to be content; and he +ordered his dinner up-stairs, and prepared himself for an evening of +tears and repentance. + +"But, before the waiter had been gone five minutes, he returned with +a letter in his hand. + +"'Now, here's somebody asking something at last,' said he, for a +servant had brought it. + +"Franz trembled as he took it. It was sure to be either a scolding +or a summons to prison, he thought. But no such thing: it was an +invitation to dinner. Franz threw it on the floor, and kicked it +from him--he would go nowhere--see nobody any more! + +"The 'officious fellow' picked it up, and read it. 'Mr. Franz,' said +he, 'you mustn't go to bed this time: you must go to this dinner +instead. It's from your father's old partner--he wishes you had +called, but as you haven't called, he asks you to dine. Now you're +wanted, Mr. Franz, and must go.' + +"'I shall get into another mess,' cried Franz, despondingly. + +"'Oh, pooh! you've only to keep out of everybody's way, and all will +be right,' insisted the waiter, as he left the room. + +"'Only to keep out of everybody's way, and all will be right,' +ejaculated Mr. Franz, as he looked at his crest-fallen face in the +glass. 'It's a strange rule for getting on in life! However,' +continued he, cheering up, 'one plan has failed, and it's only fair +to give the other a chance!' + +"And all the rest of dressing-time, and afterwards as he walked along +the streets, he kept repeating his father's words softly to himself, +which was at first a very difficult thing to do, because he could not +help mixing them up with his mother's. It was the funniest thing in +the world to hear him: 'ALL YOU HAVE TO ATTEND TO, WITH YOUR +ADVANTAGES IS TO--MAKE YOURSELF--no, no! not to make myself +agreeable--IS TO--KEEP OUT OF THE WAY!--that's it!' (with a sigh.) + +"When Franz arrived at the house, he rang the bell so gently, that he +had to ring twice before he was heard; and then they concluded it was +some beggar, who was afraid of giving a good pull. + +"So, when he was ushered into the drawing-room, the old partner came +forward to meet him, took him by both hands, and, after one look into +his downcast face, said:- + +"'My dear Mr. Franz, you must put on a bolder face, and ring a louder +peal, next time you come to the house of your father's old friend!' + +"Mr. Franz answered this warm greeting by a sickly smile, and while +he was being introduced to the family, kept bowing on, thinking of +nothing but how he was to keep out of everybody's way!' + +"He was tempted every five minutes, of course, to break out in his +usual style, and could have found it in his heart to chuck the whole +party under the chin, and take all the talk to himself. But he could +be determined enough when he chose; and having determined to give his +father's rule a fair chance, he restrained himself to the utmost. + +"So, not even the hearty reception of the old partner and his wife, +nor the smiling faces of either daughters or sons, could lure him +into opening out. 'Yes' and 'No;' 'Do you think so?' 'I dare say;' +'Perhaps;' 'No doubt you're right;' and other such unmeaning little +phrases were all he would utter when they talked to him. + +"'How shy he is, poor fellow!' thought the ladies, and then they +talked to him all the more. One tried to amuse him with one subject, +another with another. How did he like the public gardens? Were they +not very pretty?--He scarcely knew. No doubt they were, if THEY +thought so. What did he think of the theatre?--It was very hot when +he was there. Had he any friends in the town?--He couldn't say +friends--he knew one or two people a little. And the poor youth +could hardly restrain a groan, as he answered each of the questions. + +"Then they chatted of books, and music, and dancing, and pressed him +hard to discover what he knew, and could do, and liked best; and when +it oozed out even from his short answers, that he had read certain +books in more than one language, and could sing--just a little; and +dance--just a little; and do several other things--just a little, +too, all sorts of nods and winks passed through the family, and they +said:- + +"'Ah, when you know us better, and are not so shy of us as strangers, +we shall find out you are as clever again as you pretend to be, dear +Mr. Franz!' + +"'I'll tell you what,' added the old partner, coming up at this +moment, 'it's a perfect treat to me, Mr. Franz, to have a young man +like you in my house! You're your father over again, and I can't +praise you more. He was the most modest, unobtrusive man in all our +town, and yet knew more of his business than all of us put together.' + +"'No, no, I can't allow that,' cried the motherly wife. + +"'Nonsense!' replied the old partner. 'However, my dear boy--for I +really must call you so--it was that very thing that made your +father's fortune; I mean that he was just as unpretending as he was +clever. Everybody trusts an unpretending man. And YOU'LL make your +fortune too in the same manner, trust me, before long. Now, boys!' +added he, turning to his sons, 'you hear what I say, and mind you +take the hint! As for the young puppies of the present day, who +fancy themselves fit to sit in the chair of their elders as soon as +ever they have learnt their alphabet, and are for thrusting +themselves forward in every company--Mr. Franz, I'll own it to you, +because you will understand me--I have no patience with such rude, +impertinent Jackanapeses, and always long to kick them down-stairs.' + +"The old partner stood in front of Mr. Franz as he spoke, and +clenched his fist in animation. Mr. Franz sat on thorns. He first +went hot, and then he went cold--he felt himself kicked down-stairs +as he listened--he was ready to cry--he was ready to fight--he was +ready to run away--he was ready to drop on his knees, and confess +himself the very most impertinent of all the impertinent Jackanapes' +race. + +But he gulped, and swallowed, and shut his teeth close, and nobody +found him out; only he looked very pale, which the good mother soon +noticed, and said she to her husband:- + +"'My dear love, don't you see how fagged and weary it makes Mr. Franz +look, to hear you raving on about a parcel of silly lads with whom HE +has nothing in common? You will frighten him out of his wits.' + +"'Mr. Franz will forgive me, I know,' cried the old partner, gently. +'Jacintha, my dear, fetch the wine and cake!' + +"The kind, careful souls feared he was delicate, and insisted on his +having some refreshment; and then papa ordered the young people to +give their guest some music; and Franz sat by while the sons and +daughters went through a beautiful opera chorus, which was so really +charming, that Mr. Franz did forget himself for a minute, clapped +violently, and got half-way through the word 'encore' in a very loud +tone. But he checked himself instantly, coloured, apologized for his +rudeness, and retreated further back from the piano. + +"Of course, this new symptom of modesty was met by more kindness, and +followed by a sly hint from the merry Jacintha, that Mr. Franz's turn +for singing had come now! + +"Poor Mr. Franz! with the recollection of the morning's adventure on +his mind, and his father's rule ringing in his ears, he felt singing +to be out of the question, so he declined. On which they entreated, +insisted, and would listen to no refusal. And Jacintha went to him, +and looked at him with her sweetest smile, and said, 'But you know, +Mr. Franz, you said you could sing a little; and if it's ever so +little, you should sing WHEN YOU'RE ASKED!' and with that Miss +Jacintha offered him her hand, and led him to the piano. + +"Franz was annoyed, though he ought to been pleased. + +"'But how AM I to keep out of people's way,' thought he to himself, +'if they will pull me forward? It's the oddest thing I ever knew. I +can't do right either way.' + +"Then a thought struck him:- + +"'I have no music, Miss Jacintha,' said he, 'and I can't sing without +music;' and he was going back again to his chair in the corner. + +"'But we have all the new music,' was her answer, and she opened a +portfolio at once. 'See, here's the last new song!' and she held one +up before the unfortunate youth, who at the sight of it coloured all +over, even to the tips of his ears. Whereupon Miss Jacintha, who was +watching him, laughed, and said she had felt sure he knew it; and +down she sat, and began to play the accompaniment, and in two minutes +afterwards Mr. Franz found himself--in spite of himself, as it were-- +exhibiting in THE song, the fatal song of the morning's adventure. + +"It was a song of tender sentiment, and the singer's almost tremulous +voice added to the effect, and a warm clapping of hands greeted its +conclusion. + +"But by that time Mr. Franz was so completely exhausted with the +struggles of this first effort on the new plan, that he began to wish +them good-night, saying he would not intrude upon them any longer. + +"They would shake hands with him, though he tried to bow himself off +without; and the old partner followed him down-stairs into the hall. + +"'Mr. Franz,' said he, 'we have been delighted to make your +acquaintance, but this has been only a quiet family party. Now we +know your SORT, you must come again, and meet our friends. Wife will +fix the day, and send you word; and don't you be afraid, young man! +Mind you come, and put your best foot forward among us all!' + +"Franz was almost desperate. His conscience began to reproach him. +What! was he going to accept all this kindness, like a rogue +receiving money under false pretences? He was shocked, and began to +protest:- + +"'I assure you, dear sir, I don't deserve--You are quite under a +mistake--I really am not--the fact is, you think a great deal better +of me than--" + +"'Nonsense!' shouted the old partner, clapping him vigorously on the +back. 'Why, you're not going to teach me at my time of life, surely? +Not going to turn as conceited as that, after all, eh? Come, come, +Mr. Franz, no nonsense! And to-morrow,' he added, 'I'll send you +letters of introduction to some of my friends, who will show you the +lions, and make much of you. You will be well received wherever you +take them, first for my sake, and afterwards for your own. There, +there! I won't hear a word! No thanks--I hate them! Good night.' + +"And the old partner fairly pushed Mr. Franz through the door. + +"'Oh dear, oh dear!' was the waiter's exclamation when Franz reached +the hotel, and the light of the lamp shone on his white, worn-out +face. 'Oh dear, oh dear! I fear you've been a silly young gentleman +over again! What HAVE you been doing this time?' + +"'I've been trying to keep out of everybody's way all the evening,' +growled Mr. Franz, 'and they would pull me forward, in spite of +myself.' + +"'No--really though?' cried the waiter, as if it were scarcely +possible. + +"'Really,' sighed poor Mr. Franz. + +"'Then do me the honour, sir,' exclaimed the waiter, with a sudden +deference of manner; and taking the tips of Franz's fingers in his +own, he bent over them with a salute. 'You're a wise young gentleman +now, sir, and your fortune's made. I'm glad you've hit it at last! + +"And Mr. Franz had hit it at last, indeed," continued Aunt Judy, "as +appeared more plainly still by the letters of introduction which +reached him next morning. They were left open, and were to this +effect:- + +"' . . . The bearer of this is the son of an old friend. One of the +most agreeable young men I ever saw. As modest as he is well +educated, and I can't say more. Procure him some amusement, that a +little of his shyness may be rubbed off; and forward his fortunes, my +dear friend, as far as you can . . . ' + +"Franz handed one of these letters to his friend the waiter, and the +'officious fellow' grinned from ear to ear. + +"'There is only one more thing to fear,' observed he. + +"'And what?' asked Franz. + +"'Why, that now you're comfortable, my dear young gentleman, your +head should be turned, and you should begin to make yourself +agreeable again, and spoil all.' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother agreeable; _I_ say now, as you did,' cried Franz, +laughing. 'No, no, my good friend, I'm not going to make myself +agreeable any more. I know better than that at last!' + +"'Then your fortune's safe as well as made!' was the waiter's last +remark, as he was about to withdraw: but Franz followed him to the +door. + +"'I found out a rather curious thing this evening, do you know!' + +"'And that was?--' inquired his humble friend. + +"'Why, that I was sitting all the time in that very attitude my +mother recommended--with my head a little down, you know--so that I +really don't think they noticed my snub.' + +"The waiter got as far as, 'Oh, pooh!' but Franz was nervous, and +interrupted him. + +"'Yes--yes! I don't believe there's anything in it myself; but it +will be a comfort to my mother to think it was her advice that made +my fortune, which she will do when I tell her that!' + +"'Ah!--the ladies will be romantic now and then!' exclaimed the +waiter, with a flourish of his hand, 'and you must trim the comfort +to a person's taste.' + +"And in due time," pursued Aunt Judy, "that was exactly what Mr. +Franz did. Strictly adhering to his father's rule, and encouraged by +its capital success that first night, he got so out of the habit of +being pert, and foolish, and inconsiderate, that he ended by never +having any wish to be so; so that he really became what the old +partner had imagined him to be at first. It was a great restraint +for some time, but his modest manners fitted him at last as easy as +an old shoe, and he was welcome at every house, because he was NEVER +IN THE WAY, and always knew when to retire! + +"It was a jovial day for Papa and Mamma's Watchmaker when, two years +afterwards, Mr. Franz returned home, a partner in the old partner's +prosperous business, and with the smiling Jacintha for his bride. + +"And then, in telling his mother of that first evening of his good +fortune, he did not forget to mention that he had hung down his head +all the time, as she had advised; and, just as he expected, she +jumped up in the most extravagant delight. + +"'I knew how it would be all along!' cried she; 'I told you so! I +knew if you could only hide that terrible snub all would be well; and +I'm sure our pretty Jacintha wouldn't have looked your way if you +hadn't! See, now! you have to thank your mother for it all!' + +"Franz was quite happy himself, so he smiled, and let his mother be +happy her way too; but he opened his heart of hearts to poor old- +fashioned papa, and told him--well, in fact, all his follies and +mistakes, and their cure. And if mamma was happy in her bit of +comfort, papa was not less so in his, for there is not a more +delightful thing in the world than for father and son to understand +each other as friends; and old Franz would sometimes walk up and down +in his room, listening to the cheerful young voices up-stairs, and +say to himself, that if Mother Franz--good soul as she was--did not +always quite enter into his feelings, it was his comfort to be +blessed with a son who did!" + +* * * + +What a long story it had been! Aunt Judy was actually tired out when +she got to the end, and could not talk about it, but the little ones +did till they arrived at the station, and had to get out. + +And in the evening, when they were all sitting together before they +went to bed, there was no small discussion about the story of Mr. +Franz, and how people were to know what was really good manners--when +to come forward, and when to hold back--and the children were a +little startled at first, when their mother told them that the best +rules for good manners were to be found in the Bible. + +But when she reminded them of that text, "When thou art bidden, go +and sit down in the lowest room," &c. they saw in those words a very +serious reason for not pushing forward into the best place in +company. And when they recollected that every man was to do to +others as he wished others to do to him, it became clear to them that +it was the duty of all people to study their neighbours' comfort and +pleasure as well as their own; and it was no hard matter to show how +this rule applied to all the little ins and outs of every-day life, +whether at home, or in society. And there were plenty of other +texts, ordering deference to elders, and the modesty which arises out +of that humility of spirit which "vaunteth not itself," and "is not +puffed up." There was, moreover, the comfortable promise, that "the +meek" should "inherit the earth." + +Of course, it was difficult to the little ones, just at first, to see +how such very serious words could apply to anybody's manners, and +especially to their own. + +But it was a difficulty which mamma, with a little explanation, got +over very easily; and before the little ones went to bed, they quite +understood that in restraining themselves from teazing and being +troublesome, they were not only not being "tiresome," but were +actually obeying several Gospel rules. + + + +"NOTHING TO DO." + + + +"Had I a little son, I would christen him NOTHING-TO-DO." +CHARLES LAMB. + +There is a complaint which is not to be found in the doctor's books, +but which is, nevertheless, such a common and troublesome one, that +one heartily wishes some physic could be discovered which would cure +it. + +It may be called the NOTHING-TO-DO complaint. + +Even quite little children are subject to it, but they never have it +badly. Parents and nurses have only to give them something to do, or +tell them of something to do, and the thing is put right. A puzzle +or a picture-book relieves the attack at once. + +But after the children have out-grown puzzles, and picture-books, and +nurses, and when even a parent's advice is received with a little +impatience, then the NOTHING-TO-DO complaint, if it seizes them at +all, is a serious disease, and often very difficult to cure; and, if +not cured, alas! then follows the melancholy spectacle of grown-up +men and women, who are a plague to their friends, and a weariness to +themselves; because, living under the notion that there is NOTHING +for them TO DO, they want everybody else to do something to amuse +them. + +Anyone can laugh at the old story of the gentleman who got into such +a fanciful state of mind--hypochondriacal, it is called--that he +thought he was his own umbrella; and so, on coming in from a walk, +would go and lay IT in the easy-chair by the fire, while he himself +went and leant up against the wall in a corner of the hall. + +But this gentleman was not a bit more fanciful and absurd than the +people, whether young or old, who look out of windows on rainy days +and groan because there is NOTHING TO DO; when, in reality, there is +so much for everybody to do, that most people leave half their share +undone. + +The oddest part of the complaint is, that it generally comes on worst +in those who from being comfortably off in the world, and from having +had a great deal of education, have such a variety of things to do, +that one would fancy they could never be at a loss for a choice. + +But these are the very people who are most afflicted. It is always +the young people who have books, and leisure, and music, and drawing, +and gardens, and pleasure-grounds, and villagers to be kind to, who +lounge to the rain-bespattered windows on a dull morning, and groan +because there is NOTHING TO DO. + +In justice to girls in general, it should be here mentioned, that +they are on the whole less liable to the complaint than the young +lords of the creation, who are supposed to be their superiors in +sense. Philosophers may excuse this as they please, but the fact +remains, that there are few large families in England, whose +sisterhoods have not at times been teazed half out of their wits, by +the growlings of its young gentlemen, during paroxysms of the +NOTHING-TO-DO complaint; growling being one of its most +characteristic symptoms. + +Perhaps among all the suffering sisterhoods it would have been +difficult to find a young lady less liable to catch such a disorder +herself, than Aunt Judy; and perhaps that was the reason why she used +to do such tremendous battle with No. 3, whenever, after his return +from school for the holidays, he happened to have an attack. + +"What are you groaning at through the window, No. 3?" she inquired on +one such occasion; "is it raining?" + +A very gruff-sounding "No," was the answer--No. 3 not condescending +to turn round as he spoke. He proceeded, however, to state that it +had rained when he got up, and he supposed it would rain again as a +matter-of-course, (for his especial annoyance being implied,) and he +concluded:- + +"It's so horribly 'slow' here, with nothing to do." + +No. 6, who was sitting opposite Aunt Judy, doing a French exercise, +here looked up at her sister, and perceiving a smile steal over her +face, took upon herself to think her brother's remark very +ridiculous, so, said she, with a saucy giggle:- + +"I can find you plenty to do, No. 3, in a minute. Come and write my +French exercise for me. + +No. 3 turned sharply round at this, with a frown on his face which by +no means added to its beauty, and called out:- + +"Now, Miss Pert, I recommend you to hold your tongue. I don't want +any advice from a conceited little minx like you." + +Miss Pert was extinguished at once, and set to work at the French +exercise again most industriously, and a general silence ensued. + +But people in the nothing-to-do complaint are never quiet for long. +Teazing is quite as constant a symptom of it, as growling, so No. 3 +soon came lounging from the window to the table, and began:- + +"I say, Judy, I wish you would put those tiresome books, and +drawings, and rubbish away, and I think of something to do." + +"But it's the books, and the drawings, and the rubbish that give me +something to do," cried Aunt Judy. "You surely don't expect me to +give them up, and go arm and arm with you round the house, bemoaning +the slowness of our fate which gives us nothing to do. Or shall we? +Come, I don't care; I will if you like. But which shall we complain +to first, mamma, or the maids?" + +While she was saying this, Aunt Judy shut up her drawing book, jumped +up from her chair, drew No. 3's arm under her own, and repeated:- + +"Come! which? mamma, or the maids?" while Miss Pert opposite was +labouring with all her might to smother the laugh she dared not +indulge in. + +But No. 3 pushed Aunt Judy testily away. + +"'Nonsense, Judy! what has that to do with it? It's all very well +for you girls--now, Miss Pert, mind your own affairs, and don't stare +at me!--to amuse yourself with all manner of--" + +"Follies, of course," cried Aunt Judy, laughing, "don't be afraid of +speaking out, No. 3. It's all very well for us girls to amuse +ourselves with all manner of follies, and nonsense, and rubbish;" +here Aunt Judy chucked the drawing-book to the end of the table, +tossed a dictionary after it, and threw another book or two into the +air, catching them as they came down. + +"--while you, superior, sensible young man that you are, born to be +the comfort of your family--" + +"Be quiet!" interrupted No. 3, trying to stop her; but she ran round +the table and proceeded:- + +"--and the enlightener of mankind; can't--no, no, No. 3, I won't be +stopt!--can't amuse yourself with anything, because everything is so +'horribly slow, there's nothing to do,' so you want to tie yourself +to your foolish sister's apron string." + +"It's too bad!" shouted No. 3; and a race round the table began +between them, but Aunt Judy dodged far too cleverly to be caught, so +it ended in their resting at opposite ends; No. 6 and her French +exercises lying between them. + +"No. 6, my dear," cried Aunt Judy, in the lull of exertion, "I +proclaim a holiday from folly and rubbish. Put your books away, and +put your impertinence away too. Hold your tongue, and don't be Miss +Pest; and vanish as soon as you can." + +Miss Pert performed two or three putting-away evolutions with the +velocity of a sunbeam, and darted off through the door. + +"Now, then, we'll be reasonable," observed Aunt Judy; and carrying a +chair to the front of the fire she sat down, and motioned to No. 3 to +do the same, taking out from her pocket a little bit of embroidery +work, which she kept ready for chatting hours. + +No. 3 was always willing to listen to Aunt Judy. + +He desired nothing better than to get her undivided attention, and +pour out his groans in her ear; so he sat down with a very good +grace, and proceeded to insist that there never was anything so +"slow" as "it was." + +Aunt Judy wanted to know what IT was; the place or the people, +(including herself,) or what? + +No. 3 could explain it no other way than by declaring that EVERYTHING +was slow; there was nothing to do. + +Aunt Judy maintained that there was plenty to do. + +Whereupon No. 3 said:- + +"But nothing WORTH doing." + +Whereupon Aunt Judy told No. 3 that he was just like Dr. Faustus. On +which, of course, No. 3 wanted to know what Dr. Faustus was like, and +Aunt Judy answered, that he was just like HIM, only a great deal +older and very learned. + +"Only quite different, then," suggested No. 3. + +"No," said Aunt Judy, "not QUITE different, for he came one day to +the same conclusion that you have done, namely, that there was +nothing to do, worth doing in the world." + +"_I_ don't say the world, I only say here," observed No. 3; "there's +plenty to do elsewhere, I dare say." + +"So you think, because you have not tried else where," answered Aunt +Judy. "But Dr. Faustus, who had tried elsewhere, thought everywhere +alike, and declared there was nothing worth doing anywhere, although +he had studied law, physic, divinity, and philosophy all through, and +knew pretty nearly everything." + +"Then you see he did not get much good out of learning," remarked No. +3. + +"I do see," was the reply. + +"And what became of him?" + +"Ah, that's the point," replied Aunt Judy, "and a very remarkable +point too. As soon as he got into the state of fancying there was +nothing to do, worth doing, in God's world, the evil spirit came to +him, and found him something to do in what I may, I am sure, call the +devil's world--I mean, wickedness." + +"Oh, that's a story written upon Watts's old hymn," exclaimed No. 3, +contemptuously:- + + +"'For Satan finds some mischief still, +For idle hands to do.' + + +Judy! I call that a regular 'SELL.'" + +" Not a bit of it," cried Aunt Judy, warmly; "I don't suppose the man +who wrote the story ever saw Watts's hymns, or intended to teach +anything half as good. It's mamma's moral. She told me she had +screwed it out of the story, though she doubted whether it was meant +to be there." + +"And what's the rest of the story then?" inquired No. 3, whose +curiosity was aroused. + +"Well! when the old Doctor found the world as it was, so 'SLOW,' as +you very unmeaningly call it, he took to conjuring and talking with +evil spirits by way of amusement; and then they easily persuaded him +to be wicked, merely because it gave him something fresh and exciting +to do." + +"Watts's hymn again! I told you so!" exclaimed No. 3. "But the +story's all nonsense from beginning to end. Nobody can conjure, or +talk to evil spirits in reality, so the whole thing is impossible; +and where you find the moral, I don't know." + +No. 3 leant back and yawned as he concluded. + +He was rather disappointed that nothing more entertaining had come +out of the story of Dr. Faustus. + +But Aunt Judy had by no means done. + +"Impossible about conjuring and actually TALKING to evil spirits, +certainly," said she; "but spiritual influences, both bad and good, +come to us all, No. 3, without bodily communion; so for those who are +inclined to feel like Dr. Faustus, there is both a moral and a +warning in his fate." + +"I don't know what about," cried No. 3. "I think he was uncommonly +stupid, after all he had learnt, to get into such a mess. Why, you +yourself are always trying to make out that the more people labour +and learn, the more sure they are to keep out of mischief. Now then, +how do you account for the story of your friend Dr. Faustus?" + +"Because, like King Solomon, he did not labour and learn in a right +spirit, or to a right end," replied Aunt Judy. "Lord Bacon remarks +that when, after the Creation, God 'looked upon everything He had +made, behold it was VERY GOOD;' whereas when man 'turned him about,' +and took a view of the world and his own labours in it, he found that +'all' was 'vanity and vexation of spirit.' Why did he come to such a +different conclusion, do you think?" + +"I suppose because the world had got bad, before King Solomon's +time," suggested No. 3. + +"Its inhabitants had," replied Aunt Judy. "They had become subject +to sin and misery; but the world was still God's creation, and proofs +of the 'very good' which He had pronounced over it were to be found +in every direction, and even in fallen man, if Solomon had had the +sense, or rather I should say, good feeling to look for them. Ah! +No. 3, there was plenty to be learnt and done that would NOT have +ended in 'vanity and vexation of spirit' if Solomon had LEARNT in +order to trace out the glory of God, instead of establishing his own; +and if he had WORKED to create, as far as was in his power, a world +of happiness for other people, instead of seeking nothing but his own +amusement. If he had worked in the spirit of God, in short." + +"But who can?--Nobody," exclaimed No. 3. + +"Yes, everybody, who tries, can, to a certain extent," said Aunt +Judy. "It only wants the right feeling; some of the good God-like +feeling which originated the creation of a beautiful world, and +caused the contemplation of it to produce the sublime complacency +which is described, 'And God looked upon everything that He had made, +and behold it was very good.'" + +"It's a sermon, Judy," cried No. 3, half bored, yet half amused at +the notion of her preaching; "I'll set up a pulpit for you at once, +shall I?" + +"No, no, be quiet, No. 3," exclaimed Aunt Judy, "I wish you would try +and understand what I say!" + +"Well, then," said No. 3, "it appears to me that do what one might +now the world has grown bad, it would be impossible to pronounce that +'VERY GOOD,' as the result of one's work. There would always be +something miserable and unsatisfactory at the end of everything; I +mean even if one really was to look into things closely, and work for +other people's good, as you say." + +"There might be SOMETHING miserable and unsatisfactory, in the +result, certainly," answered Aunt Judy; "but that it would ALL be +'vanity and vexation of spirit' I deny. Our blessed Saviour came +into the world after it had grown bad, remember; and He worked solely +for the restoration of the 'very good,' which sin had defaced. It +was undoubtedly MISERABLE and UNSATISFACTORY that He should be +rejected by the very creatures He came to help; but when He uttered +the words 'It is finished,' the work which He had accomplished, He +might well have looked upon and called very good: very very good; +even beyond the creation, were that possible." + +"There can be no comparison between our Saviour and us," murmured No. +3. + +"No," replied his sister; "but only let people work in the same +direction, and they will have more 'profit' of their 'labour,' than +King Solomon ever owned to, who had, one fears, only learnt, in order +to be learned, and worked, to please himself. No man who employs +himself in tracing out God's footsteps IN the world, or in working in +God's spirit FOR the world, will ever find such labours end in +'vanity and vexation of spirit!' Solomon, Dr. Faustus, and the +grumblers, have only themselves to thank for their disappointment." + +"It's very curious," observed No. 3, getting up, and stretching +himself over the fire, "I mean about Solomon and Dr. Faustus. But +what can one do? What can you or I do? It's absurd to be fancying +one can do good to one's fellow-creatures." + +"Nevertheless, there is one I want you to do good to, at the present +moment," said Aunt Judy--"if it is not actually raining. Don't you +remember what despair No. 1 was in this morning, when father sent her +off on the pony in such a hurry." + +"Ah, that pony! That was just what I wanted myself," interrupted No. +3. + +"Exactly, of course," replied Aunt Judy. "But you were not the +messenger father wanted, so do not let us go all over that ground +again, pray. The fact was, No. 1 had just heard that her pet 'Tawny +Rachel' was very ill, and she wanted to go and see her, and give her +some good advice, and I am to go instead. Now No. 3, suppose you go +instead of me, and save me a wet walk?" + +No. 3, of course, began by protesting that it was not possible that +he could do any good to an old woman. Old women were not at all in +his way. He could only say, how do you do? and come away. + +Aunt Judy disputed this: she thought he could offer her some +creature comforts, and ask whether she had seen the Doctor, and what +he said, as No. 1 particularly wished to know. + +What an idea! No, no; he must decline inquiring what the Doctor +said; it would be absurd; but he could offer her something to eat. + +- And just ask if she had had the Doctor.--Well, just that, and come +away. It would not occupy many minutes. But he wished, while Aunt +Judy was about it, she had found him something rather LONGER to do! + +Aunt Judy promised to see what could be devised on his return, and +No. 3 departed. And a very happily chosen errand it was; for it +happened in this case, as it so constantly does happen, that what was +begun for other people's sake, ended in personal gratification. No. +3 went to see "Tawny Rachel," out of good-natured compliance with +Aunt Judy's request, but found an interest and amusement in the visit +itself, which he had not in the least expected. + +Ten, twenty, thirty, minutes elapsed, and he had not returned; and +when he did so at last, he burst into the house far more like an +avalanche than a young gentleman who could find "nothing to do." + +Coming in the back way, he ran into the kitchen, and told the +servants to get some hot water ready directly, for he was sure +something would be wanted. Then, passing forward, he shouted to know +where his mother was, and, having found her, entreated she would +order some comfortable, gruelly stuff or other, to be made for the +sick old woman, particularly insisting that it should have ale or +wine, as well as spice and sugar in it. + +He was positive that that was just what she ought to have! She had +said how cold she was, and how glad she should be of something to +warm her inside; and there was nobody to do anything for her at home. +What a shame it was for a poor old creature like that to be left with +only two dirty boys to look after her, and they always at play in the +street! Her daughter and husband were working out, and she sat +moaning over the fire, from pain, without anybody to care! + +* * * + +Tender-hearted and impulsive, if thoughtless, the spirit of No. 3 had +been moved within him at the spectacle of the gaunt old woman in this +hour of her lonely suffering. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" The children had called her so, from the +heroine of Mrs. Hannah More's tale, because of those dark gipsy eyes +of hers, which had formerly given such a fine expression to her +handsome but melancholy face. Melancholy, because care-worn from the +long life's struggle for daily bread, for a large indulged family, +who scarcely knew, at the day of her death, that she had worn herself +out for their sakes. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" She was one day asked by a well-meaning +shopkeeper, of whom she had purchased a few goods, WHERE SHE THOUGHT +SHE WAS GOING TO?" + +"Tawny Rachel" turned her sad eyes upon her interrogator, and made +answer:- + +"Going to? why where do you think I'm going to, but to Heaven?-- +'Deed! where do you think I'm going to, but to Heaven?" she repeated +to herself slowly, as if to recover breath; and then added, "I should +like to know who Heaven is for, if not for such as me, that have +slaved all their lives through, for other folk;" and so saying, Tawny +Rachel turned round again, and went away. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" The theology was imperfect enough; but so had +been her education and advantages. Yet as surely as her scrupulous, +never-failing honesty, and unmurmuring self-denial, must have been +inspired by something beyond human teaching; so surely did it prove +no difficult task to her spiritual guide, to lead her onwards to +those simple verities of the Christian Faith, which, in her case, +seemed to solve the riddle of a weary, unsatisfactory life, and, +confiding in which, the approach of death really became to her, the +advent of the Prince of Peace. + +* * * + +"But she had quite cheered up," remarked No. 3, "at the notion of +something comforting and good," and so--he had "come off at once." + +"At once!"--the exclamation came from Aunt Judy, who had entered the +room, and was listening to the account. "Why, No. 3, you must have +been there an hour at least. And nevertheless I dare say you have +forgotten about the Doctor." + +"The Doctor!" cried No. 3, laughing,--"It's the Doctor who has kept +me all this time. You never heard such fun in your life,--only he's +an awful old rascal, I must say!" + +Mamma and Aunt Judy gazed at No. 3 in bewilderment. The respectable +old village practitioner, who had superintended all the deceases in +the place for nearly half a century--to be called "an awful old +rascal" at last! What could No. 3 be thinking of? + +Certainly not of the respectable village practitioner, as he soon +explained, by describing the arrival at Tawny Rachel's cottage of a +travelling quack with a long white beard. + +"My dear No. 3!" exclaimed mamma. + +"Mother, dear, I can't help it!" cried No. 3, and proceeded to relate +that while he was sitting with the old woman, listening to the +account of her aches and pains, some one looked in at the door, and +asked if she wanted anything; but, before she could speak, remarked +how ill she seemed, and said he could give her something to do her +good. "Judy!" added No. 3, breaking suddenly off; "he looked just +like Dr. Faustus, I'm sure!" + +"Never mind about that," cried Aunt Judy. "Tell us what Tawny Rachel +said." + +"Oh, she called out that he MUST GIVE it, if she was to have it, for +she had nothing to pay for it with. I had a shilling in my pocket, +and was just going to offer it, when I recollected he would most +likely do her more harm than good. But the gentleman with the white +beard walked in immediately, set his pack down on the table, and +said, 'Then, my good woman, I SHALL give it you;' and out he brought +a bottle, tasted it before he gave it to her, and promised her that +it would cure her if she took it all." + +"My dear No. 3!" repeated mamma once more. + +"Yes, I know she can't be cured, mother, and I think she knows it +too; but still she 'TOOK IT VERY KIND,' as she called it, of him, and +asked him if he would like to 'rest him' a bit by the fire, and the +gentleman accepted the invitation; and there we all three sat, for +really I quite enjoyed seeing him, and he began to warm his hands, +remarking that the young gentleman--that was I, you know--looked very +well. Oh, Judy, I very nearly said 'Thank you, Dr. Faustus,' but I +only laughed and nodded, and really did hold my tongue; and then the +two began to talk, and it was as good as any story you ever invented, +Aunt Judy. Tawny Rachel was very inquisitive, and asked him:- + +"'You've come a long way, sir, I suppose?' + +"'Yes, ma'am; I'm a great traveller, and have been so a many years.' + +"'It's a wonder you have not settled before now.' + +"'I might have settled, ma'am, a many times.' + +"'Ah, when folks once begin wandering, they can't settle down. You +were, maybe, brought up to it.' + +"'I was brought up to something a deal better than that, ma'am.' + +"'You was, sir? It's a pity, I'm sure.' + +"'My father was physician to Queen Elizabeth, ma'am, a many years.'" + +When No. 3 arrived at this point of the dialogue, mamma and Aunt Judy +both exclaimed at once, and the former repeated once more the +expostulatory "My dear No. 3!" which delighted No. 3, who proceeded +to assure them that he had himself interrupted the travelling quack +here, by suggesting that it was Queen Charlotte he meant. + +"Old Queen Charlotte, you know, Judy, that No. 1 was telling the +children about the other day." + +But the "gentleman," as No. 3 called him, had turned very red at the +doubt thus thrown on his accuracy, and put a rather threatening croak +into his voice, as he said:- + +"Asking your pardon, young gentleman, I know what I'm saying, and it +was Queen Elizabeth, and not Charlotte nor anybody else!" + +No. 3 described that he felt it best, after this, to hold his tongue +and say no more, so Tawny Rachel put in her word, and remarked, it +was a wonder the queen hadn't made their fortunes; on which the +gentleman turned rather red again, and said that the queen did make +their fortune, but wouldn't let them keep it, for fear they should be +too great and too rich--that was it! This statement required a +little explanation, but the gentleman was ready with all particulars. +The queen used to pay his father by hundreds of pounds at a time, +because that was due to him, but being jealous of his having so much +money, she always set some one to take it away from him as he left +the place! So that was the reason why these was no fortune put by +for him after his father died, and that was the reason why he +couldn't very well settle at first, though everybody wished him to +stay, and SO he took to travelling; for his father had left him all +his secrets, and he was qualified to practise anywhere, and had cured +some thousands of sick folks up and down! + +No. 3 declared that he had not made the old man's account of himself +a bit more unconnected than it really was, and, on the whole, it +sounded very imposing to poor Tawny Rachel, who watched his departure +with a sort of respectful awe. + +No. 3 added, that not liking to disturb her faith either in the man +or the bottle, he had himself helped her to the first dose, and had +then begun to talk about the creature comforts before described, the +very mention of which seemed to cheer the old lady's heart, and to +interest her at least as much as the biography of the travelling +quack. + +"So now, mother," concluded he, "order the gruel, and we'll give +three cheers for Queen Elizabeth, and Dr. Faustus--eh, Judy? But I +do think the poor old thing ought not to take that man's poisonous +rubbish; so here's my shilling, and welcome, if you'll give some +more, and let us send for a real doctor." + +The "nothing-to-do" morning had nearly slipped away, between the +conversation with Aunt Judy, and the visit to Tawny Rachel; and when, +soon after, a friend called to take No. 3 off on a fossil hunt, and +he had to snatch a hasty morsel before his departure, he declared he +was like the poor governess in the song, who was sure to + + + "Find out, +With attention and zeal, +That she'd scarcely have time +To partake of a meal," + + +there was so much to do. "But you're a capital fellow, Judy," he +added, kissing her, "and you'll tell me a story when I come back;" +and off he ran, shutting his ears to Aunt Judy's declaration that she +only told stories to the "little ones." + +Nor would she, on his return, and during the cozy evening "nothing- +to-do" hour, consent to devote herself to his especial amusement +only. So, after arguing the point for a time, he very wisely +yielded, and declared at last that he would be a "little one" too, +and listen to a "little one's" story, if Aunt Judy would tell one. + +It was rather late when this was settled, and the little ones had +stayed up-stairs to play at a newly-invented game--bazaars--in the +nursery; but when No. 3 strode in with the announcement of the story, +there was a shout of delight, followed by the old noisy rush down- +stairs to the dining-room. + +It is not a bad thing to be a "little one" now and then in spirit. +People would do well to try and be so oftener. Who that has looked +upon a picture of himself as a "little one," has not wished that he +could be restored to the "little one's" spirit, the "little one's" +innocence, the "little one's" hopeful trust? "Of such is the kingdom +of Heaven!" And though none of us would like to live our lives over +again, lest our errors should be repeated, and so doubled in guilt, +all of us, at the sight of what we once were, would fain, very fain, +if we could, lie down to sleep, and awake a "little one" again. +Never, perhaps, is the sweet mercy of an early death brought so +closely home to our apprehension, as when the grown-up, care-worn man +looks upon the image of himself as a child. + +Happily, however--nay, more than happily, MERCIFULLY--the grown-up +man, if he do but put on the humility, may gain something of the +peace of a "little one's" heart! + +Aunt Judy had twisted up a roll of muslin for a turban on her head by +the time they came down, "for," said she, "this is to be an eastern +tale, and I shall not be inspired--that is to say, I shall not get on +a bit--unless there is a costume and manners to correspond, so you +three little ones squat yourselves down Turkish-fashion on the floor, +with your legs tucked under you. There now! that's something like, +and I begin to feel myself in the East. Nevertheless, I am rather +glad there is no critical Eastern traveller at hand, listening +through the key-hole to my blunders. + +However, errors excepted, here is the wonderful story of + + +'THE KING OF THE HILLS AND HIS FOUR SONS.' + + +"A great many years ago, in a country which cannot be traced upon the +maps, but which lies somewhere between the great rivers Indus and +Euphrates, lived Schelim, King of the Hills. + +"His riches were unlimited, his palaces magnificent, and his dresses +and jewels of the most costly description. He never condescended to +wear a diamond unless it was inconveniently large for his fingers, +and the fiery opals which adorned his turban (like those in the +mineral-room at the British Museum) shimmered and blazed in such a +surprising manner, that people were obliged to lower their eyes +before the light of them. + +"Powerful as well as rich, King Schelim could have anything in the +world he wished for, but--such is the perversity of human nature--he +cared very little for anything except smoking his pipe; of which, to +say the truth, he was so fond, that he would have been well contented +to have done nothing else all day long. It seemed to him the nearest +approach to the sublimest of all ideas of human happiness--the having +NOTHING TO DO. + +"He caused his four sons to be brought up in luxurious ease, his wish +for them being, that they should remain ignorant of pain and sorrow +for as long a period of their lives as was possible. So he built a +palace for them, at the summit of one of his beautiful hills, where +nothing disagreeable or distressing could ever meet their eyes, and +he gave orders to their attendants, that they should never be +thwarted in anything. + +"Every wish of their hearts, therefore, was gratified from their baby +days; but so far from being in consequence the happiest, they were +the most discontented children in his dominions. + +"From the first year of their birth, King Schelim had never been able +to smoke his pipe in peace. There were always messages coming from +the royal nursery to the smoking-room, asking for something fresh for +the four young princes, who were, owing to some mysterious cause, +incapable of enjoying any of their luxurious indulgences for more +than a few hours together. + +"At first these incessant demands for one thing or another for the +children, surprised and annoyed their papa considerably, but by +degrees he got used to it, and took the arrival of the messengers as +a matter of course. + +"The very nurses began it:- + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--are tired of +their jewelled rattles, and have thrown them on the floor. Doubtless +they would like India-rubber rings with bells better.' + +"'Then get them India-rubber rings with bells,' was all King Schelim +said, and turned to his pipe again. + +"And so it went on perpetually, until one day it came to, - + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--have thrown +their hobbyhorses into the river, and want to have live ponies +instead.' + +"At the first moment the king gave his usual answer, 'Then get them +live ponies instead,' from a sort of mechanical habit, but the words +were scarcely uttered when he recalled them. This request awoke even +his sleepy soul out of its smoke-dream, and inquiring into the ages +of his sons, and finding that they were of years to learn as well as +to ride, he dismissed their nurses, placed them in the hands of +tutors, and procured for them the best masters of every description. + +"'For,' said he, 'what saith the proverb? "Kings govern the earth, +but wise men govern kings." My sons shall be wise as well as kingly, +and then they can govern themselves.' + +"And after settling this so cleverly, King Schelim resumed his pipe, +in the confident hope, that now, at last, he should smoke it in +peace. + +"'For,' said he, 'when my sons shall become wise through learning, +they will be more moderate in their desires.' + +"I do not know whether his Majesty's incomparable sons relished this +change from nurses to tutors, but on that particular point they were +allowed no choice; so if they bemoaned themselves in their palace on +the hill, their father knew nothing of it. + +"And to soften the disagreeableness of the restraint which learning +imposes, King Schelim gave more strict orders than ever, that, +provided the young gentlemen only learnt their lessons well, every +whim that came into their heads should be complied with soon as +expressed. + +"In spite of all his ingenious arrangements, however, the royal +father did not enjoy the amount of repose he expected. All was quiet +enough during lesson-hours, it is true; but as soon as ever that +period had elapsed, the young princes became as restless as ever. +Nay--the older they grew, the more they wanted, and the less pleased +they became with what was granted. + +"From very early days of the tutorship, the old story began:- + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--are tired of +their ponies, and want horses instead.' + +"The king was a little disappointed at this, and actually laid down +his pipe to talk. + +"'Is anything the matter with the ponies?' he asked. + +"'May it please your Majesty, no; only that your incomparable sons +call them SLOW.' + +"'Spirited lads!' thought the king, quite consoled, and gave the +answer as usual:- + +"'Then get them horses instead.' But when only a few days afterwards +he was informed that his incomparable sons had wearied of their +horses, because they also were 'slow,' and wished to ride on +elephants instead, his Majesty began to feel disturbed in mind, and +wonder what would come next, and how it was that the teaching of the +tutors did not make his sons more moderate in their desires. + +"'Nevertheless,' said he, 'what saith the proverb, "Thou a man, and +lackest patience?" And again, + + +"Early ripe, early rotten, +Early wise, soon forgotten." + + +My sons are but children yet.' + +"After which reflection he returned to his pipe as before, and +disturbed himself as little as possible, when messenger after +messenger arrived, to announce the fresh vagaries of the young +princes. + +"It is impossible to enumerate all the luxuries, amusements, and +delights, they asked for, obtained, and wearied of during several +years. But the longer it went on, the more hardened and indifferent +their father became. + +"'For,' said he, 'what saith the proverb? "The longest lane turns at +last." At last my sons will have everything man can wish for, and +then they will cease from asking, and I shall smoke my pipe in +peace.' + +"One day, however, the messenger entered the royal smoking-room in a +greater hurry than ever, and was about to commence his usual +elaborate peroration respecting the incomparable sons, when his +Majesty held up his hand to stop him, and called out:- + +"'What is it now?' + +"'May it please your Majesty, your Majesty's in--' + +"'What is it they WANT?' cried the king, interrupting him. + +"'May it please your Majesty, SOMETHING TO DO.' + +"'Something to do?' repeated the perplexed king of the hills; +'something to do, when half the riches of my empire have been +expended upon providing them with the means of doing everything in +the world that was delightful to the soul of man? + +"'Surely, oh son of a dog, thou art laughing at my beard, to come to +me with such a message from my sons.' + +"'Nevertheless, may it please your Majesty, I have spoken but the +truth. Your Majesty's in--' + +"'Hush with that nonsense,' interrupted the king. + +"'Your Majesty's sons, in fact, then, have sickened and pined for +three mortal days, because they have got NOTHING TO DO.' + +"'Now, then, my sons are mad!' exclaimed poor King Schelim, laying +down his pipe, and rising from his recumbent position; 'and it is +time that I bestir myself.' + +"And thereupon he summoned his attendants, and sent for the royal +Hakim, that is to say, physician; and the most learned and +experienced Dervish, that is to say, religious teacher of the +neighbourhood. + +"'For,' said he, 'who knows whether this sickness is of the body or +the soul?' + +"And having explained to them how he had brought up his children, the +indulgences with which he had surrounded them, the learning which he +had had instilled into them, and the way in which he had preserved +them from every annoying sight and sound, he concluded:- + +"'What more could I have done for the happiness of my children than I +have done, and how is it that their reason has departed from them, so +that they are at a loss for something to do? Speak one or other of +you and explain.' + +"Then the Dervish stepped forward, and opening his mouth, began to +make answer. + +"'And,' said he, 'oh King of the Hills, in the bringing up of thy +sons, surely thou hast forgotten the proverb which saith, "He that +would know good manners, let him learn them from him who hath them +not." For even so may the wise man say of happiness, "He that would +know he is happy, must learn it from him who is not." But again, +doth not another proverb say, "Will thy candle burn less brightly for +lighting mine?" Wherefore the happiness which a man has, when he has +discovered it, he is bound to impart to those that have it not. Have +I spoken well?' + +"Then King and the Hakim declared he had spoken remarkably well; +nevertheless I am by no means sure that King Schelim knew what he +meant. Whereupon the Dervish offered to go at once to the four +incomparable princes, and cure them of their madness in supposing +they had nothing to do, and King Schelim in great delight, and +thoroughly glad to be rid of the trouble, told him that he placed his +sons entirely in his hands; then taking him aside, he addressed to +him a parting word in confidence. + +"'Thou knowest, oh wise Dervish, that I have had no education myself, +and therefore, as the proverb hath it, "To say I DON'T KNOW, is the +comfort of my life," yet what better is a learned man than a fool, if +he comes but to this conclusion at last? See thou restore wisdom and +something to do to the souls of my sons.' + +"Which the Dervish promised to accomplish, accordingly in company +with the Hakim, he betook himself to the palace of the four princes, +his Majesty's incomparable sons. + +"Well, in spite of all they had heard, both the Dervish and Hakim +were surprised at what they really found at the palace of the four +princes. + +"It was as if everything that human ingenuity could devise for the +gratification, amusement, and occupation both of body and mind had +been here brought together. Horses, elephants, chariots, creatures +of every description, for hunting, riding, driving, and all sorts of +sport were there, countless in numbers, and perfect in kind. +Gardens, pleasure-grounds, woods, flowers, birds, and fountains, to +delight the eye and ear; while within the palace were sources of +still deeper enjoyment. The songs of the poets and the wisdom of the +ancients reposed there upon golden shelves. Musicians held +themselves in readiness to pour exquisite melodies upon the air; +games, exercises, in-door sports in every variety could be commanded +in a moment, and attendants waited in all directions to fulfil their +young masters' will. + +"The poor old Dervish and Hakim looked at each other in fresh +amazement at every step they took, and neither of them could find a +proverb to fit so extraordinary a case. + +"At last, after a long walk through chambers and anti-chambers +without end, hung round with mirrors and ornaments, they reached the +apartment of the young princes, where they found the four +incomparable creatures lounging on four ottomans, sighing their +hearts out, because they had 'nothing to do.' + +"As the door opened, the eldest prince glanced languidly round, and +inquired if the messenger had returned from their father, and being +answered that the Dervish and Hakim, who now stood before him, were +messengers from their father, he called out to know if the old +gentleman had sent them anything to do! + +"'The king, your father's spirit is disturbed with anxiety,' answered +the Dervish, 'lest some sudden calamity should have deprived his sons +of the use of their limbs or their senses, or lest their attendants +should have failed to provide them with everything the earth affords +delightful to the soul of man.' + +"'The king, our father's spirit is disturbed with smoke,' replied the +eldest prince, 'or he never would have sent such an old fellow as you +with such an answer as that. What's the use of the use of one's +limbs, or one's senses, or all the earth affords delightful to the +soul of man, if we're sick of it all? Just go back and tell him +we've got everything, and are sick of everything, and can do +everything, and don't care to do anything, because everything is so +'slow;' so we will trouble him to find us something fresh to do. +There! is that clear enough, old gentleman?' + +"'The king, your father,' answered the Dervish, 'has provided against +even that emergency; I am come to tell you of something fresh to see +and to do.' + +"No sooner had the Dervish uttered these words, than the four princes +jumped up from the ottoman in the most lively and vigorous manner, +and clamoured to know what it was, expressing their hope that it was +a 'jolly lark.' + +"In answer to which the Dervish, lifting himself up in a commanding +manner, stretched out his arm, and exclaimed, in a solemn voice:- + +"'Young men, you have exhausted happiness. Nothing new remains in +the world for you, but misery and want. Follow me!' + +"There was something so unusual about the tone of this address, and +it was uttered in so imposing a manner, that the young princes were, +as it were, taken by storm, and they followed the Dervish and Hakim, +without a word of inquiry or objection. + +"And he led them away from the palace on the beautiful hill--away +from all the sights and sounds that were collected together there to +delight the soul of man with both bodily and intellectual enjoyment-- +down into the city in the valley, among the close-packed habitations +of common men, congregated there to labour, and just exist, and then +die. + +"And presently the Dervish and the Hakim spoke together, and then the +Hakim led the way through a gloomy by-street, till he came to a +habitation into which he entered, and the rest followed without a +word. And there, stretched upon a pallet, wasted and worn with pain, +lay a youth scarcely older than the young princes themselves, the +lower part of whose body was wrapped round with bandages, and who was +unable to move. + +"The Hakim proceeded at once to unloosen the fastenings, and to +examine the limbs of the sufferer. They had been crushed by a +frightful accident, while working for his daily bread, in the +quarries of marble near the palace on the hill. + +"'Is there no hope, my father?' he ejaculated in agony as the bruised +thighs were exposed to the light, revealing a spectacle from which +the princes turned horrified away. + +"But the Dervish stood between them and the door, and motioned them +back. + +"'Is there no hope?' repeated the youth. 'Shall I never again tread +the earth in the freedom of health and strength? never again climb +the mountain-side to taste the sweet breath of heaven? never again +even step across this narrow room, to look forth into the narrow +street?' + +"Sobs of distress here broke from the speaker; and, covering his face +with his hands, he awaited the Hakim's reply. But while the latter +bent down to whisper his answer, the Dervish addressed himself to the +trembling princes:- + + "'Learn here, at last,' said he, 'the value of those limbs, the +power of using which you look upon with such thankless indifference. +As it is with this youth to-day, so may it be with you to-morrow, if +the decree goes forth from on high. Bid me not again return to your +father to tell him you are weary of a blessing, the loss of which +would overwhelm you with despair.' + +"The young princes," continued Aunt Judy, were, as their father had +said, but children yet; that is to say, although they were fourteen +or fifteen years old, they were childish, in not having reflected or +learnt to reason. But they were not hard-hearted at bottom. Their +tenderness for others had never been called out during their life of +self-indulgence, but the sight of this young man's condition, whom +they personally knew as one who had at times been permitted to come +up and join in their games, over-powered them with dismay. + +"They entreated the Hakim to say if nothing could be done, and when +he told them that a nurse, and better food, and the discourse of a +wise companion, were all essential for the recovery of the patient, +there was not, to say the truth, one among them who was not ready +with promises of assistance, and even offers of personal help. + +"And now, bidding adieu to this youthful sufferer, whose distress +seemed to receive a sudden calm from the sympathy the young princes +betrayed, the Hakim led the way to another part of the town, where he +entered a house of rather better description, in a small room of +which they found a pale, middle-aged man, who was engaged in making a +coarse sort of netting for trees. Hearing the noise of the entrance, +he looked up, and asked who it was, but with no change of +countenance, or apparent recognition of anyone there. But as soon as +the Hakim had uttered the words 'It is I,' a gleam of delight stole +over the pale face, and the man, rising from his chair, stretched out +his arms to the Hakim, entreating him to approach. + +"And then the young princes saw that the pale man was blind. + +"'Is there any change, oh Cassian?' inquired the Hakim, kindly. + +"'None, my father,' answered the blind man, in a subdued tone. 'But +shall I murmur at what is appointed? Surely not in vain was the +privilege granted me, of transcribing the manuscripts which repose on +the golden shelves in the palace of the royal princes. Surely not in +vain did I gather, from the treasures of ancient wisdom, and the +divine songs of the poets, sources of consolation for the suffering +children of men.' + +"'And has anyone been of late to read to you?' asked the Hakim. + +"But this inquiry the blind man seemed scarcely able to answer. Big +tears gathered into the sightless eyes, and folding his hands across +his bosom, he murmured out:- + +"'None, oh my father. Not to everyone is it permitted to trace the +characters of light in which the wise have recorded their wisdom. I +alone of my family knew the secret. I alone suffer now. But shall I +not submit to this also with a cheerful spirit? It is written, and +it behoves me to submit.' + +"And, with tears streaming over his cheeks, the blind man took up the +netting which he had laid aside, and forced himself to the work. + +"'Seest thou!' exclaimed the Dervish, turning to the prince who stood +next him, apparently absorbed in contemplating the scene. 'Seest +thou how precious are the powers thou hast wearied of in the spring- +time of life? How dear are the opportunities thou hast not cared to +delight in? Bid me not again return to the king, your father, to +tell him his sons can find no pleasure in blessings, the deprivation +of which they themselves would feel to be the shutting out of the sun +from the soul.' + +"Then the young prince to whom the Dervish addressed himself, wept +bitterly, and begged to be allowed to visit the blind man from time +to time, and read to him out of the manuscripts that reposed on the +golden shelves in the palace on the hill; and which, he now learnt +for the first time, had been transcribed for his use, and that of his +brothers, by the skill of the sufferer before him. + +"And when the blind man clasped his hands over his head, and would +have prostrated himself on the ground, in gratitude to him who spoke, +asking who the charitable pitier of the afflicted could be, the +prince embraced him as if he had been his brother, forced him back +gently into his seat, and bidding him await him at that hour on the +morrow, followed the Hakim from the house. + +"And now the Dervish and Hakim spoke together once again, and the +place they visited next was of a very different description. + +"Enclosed within walls, and limited in extent, because in the +outskirts of a populous town, the garden into which they presently +entered, was--though but as a drop in comparison with the ocean--no +unworthy rival of the gorgeous pleasure-grounds of the palace. +There, too, the roses unfolded themselves in their glory to the sun, +tiny fountains scattered their cooling spray around, and singing- +birds, suspended on overshadowing trees, of this scene of miniature +beauty a venerable was perceived, seated under the shadow of an +arbour, in front of a table on which were scattered manuscripts, +papers, parchments, and dried plants, and in one corner of which were +laid a set of tablets and writing materials. + +"Although the door by which they entered had fallen to, with a noise +as they passed through, the old man did not seem to be aware of it, +nor did he notice their presence until they came so near, that their +shadows fell on some of the papers on the table. Then, indeed, he +looked suddenly up, and with a smile and gesture of delight, bade +them welcome. + +"It was not difficult to divine that the old man had lost the sense +of hearing, and the Dervish, taking up the tablets from the table, +wrote upon them the following words, which he showed to the young +princes, before presenting them to him for whom they were intended:- + +"'Hast thou not wearied yet, oh brother, of thy narrow garden, and +the ever-recurring succession of flowers, and thy study of the +secrets of Nature?' + +"Whereat the deaf man smiled again, and wrote upon the tablets:- + +"'Can anyone weary of tracing out the skilful providence of the +Divine Mind? Is it not a world within a world, oh my brother, and +inexhaustible in itself?' + +"The youngest prince pressed forward to read the answer, and having +read it, turned to the Dervish, and said, 'Ask him why the singing- +birds are suspended in the garden, whose voices he cannot hear.' + +"'Write on the tablet, my son,' said the Dervish; and when he had +written it, the old man answered, in the same manner as before:- + +"'I would remember my infirmity, my son, lest my soul should be tied +to the beauties of the visible world, but now when I see the +twittering bills of the feathered songsters, I remember that one +sense has departed, and that the others must follow; and I prepare +myself for death, trusting that those who have rejoiced in the Divine +Mind--however imperfectly--here, may rejoice yet more hereafter, when +no sense or power shall be wanting!' + +"After this, the venerable old man led them to a secluded corner of +the garden, where his young son was instructing one portion of a +class of children from the secrets of his father's manuscripts, while +another set of youngsters were engaged in cultivating flowers, by +regular instruction and rule. Many a bright, cheerful face looked up +at the old man and his visitors as they passed, but no one seemed to +wish to leave his work, or his lesson, or the kind young tutor who +ruled among them. + +"'We have wasted our lives, oh my father!' exclaimed the young +princes, as they passed from this sight. 'Tell us, may we not come +back again here, to learn true wisdom from this man and his son?' + +"Having obtained the old man's willing consent to his, the Hakim +retiring conducted his companions back into the streets; and the +young princes, whose eyes were now opened to the instruction they +were receiving, came up to the Dervish, and said:- + +"'Oh, wise Dervish, we have learnt the lesson you would teach, and we +know now that it is but a folly, and a mockery, and a lie, when a man +says that he has nothing to do. There is enough to do for all men, +if their minds are directed right! Have I not spoken well?' + +"'Thou hast spoken well according to thy knowledge,' answered the +Dervish, 'but thou hast yet another lesson to learn.' + +"The prince was silenced, and the Dervish and Hakim hurried forward +to a still different part of the city, where several trades were +carried on, and where in one place they came upon an open square, +about which a number of gaunt, wild-looking men, were lounging or +sitting; unoccupied, listless, and sad. + +"'This is wrong, my father, is it not?' inquired one of the princes; +but the Dervish, instead of answering him, addressed a man who was +standing somewhat apart from the others, and inquired why he was +loitering there in idleness, instead of occupying himself in some +honest manner? + +"The man laughed a bitter mocking laugh, and turning to his +companions, shouted out, 'Hear what the wise man asks! When trade +has failed, and no one wants our labour, he asks us why we stand +idling here!' Then, facing the Dervish, he continued, 'Do you not +know, can you not see, oh teacher of the blind, that we have got +NOTHING TO DO?--NOTHING TO DO!' he repeated with a loud cry--'NOTHING +TO DO! with hearts willing to work, and hands able to work,'--(here +he stretched out his bared, muscular arm to the Dervish,)--'and wife +and children calling out for food! Give us SOMETHING TO DO, thou +preacher of virtue and industry,' he concluded, throwing himself on +the ground in anguish; 'or, at any rate, cease to mock us with the +solemn inquiry of a fool.' + +"'Oh, my father, my father,' cried the young princes, pressing +forward, 'this is the worst, the very worst of all! All things can +be borne, but this dire reality of having NOTHING TO DO. Let us find +them something to do. Let us tear up our gardens, plough up our +lawns, and pleasure-grounds, so that we do but find work for these +men, and save their children and wives from hunger.' + +"'And themselves from crime,' added the Dervish solemnly. Then +quitting his companions, he went into the crowd of men, and made +known to them in a few hurried words, that, by the order of their +young princes, there would, before another day had dawned, be +something found to do for them all. + +"The cheer of gratitude which followed this announcement, thrilled +through the heart of those who had been enabled to offer the boon, +and so overpowered them, that, after a liberal distribution of coin +to the necessitous labourers, they gladly hurried away. + +"'Now my task is ended,' cried the Dervish, as they retraced their +steps to the palace on the hill. 'My sons, you have seen the sacred +sorrow which may attach to the bitter complaint of having NOTHING TO +DO. Henceforth seal your lips over the words, for, in all other +cases but this, they are, as you yourselves have said, a folly, a +mockery, and a lie.' + +"It is scarcely necessary to add," continued Aunt Judy, "that the +young princes returned to the palace in a very different state of +mind from that in which they left it. They had now so many things to +do in prospect, so much to plan and inquire about, that when the +night closed upon them, they wondered how the day had gone, and +grudged the necessary hours of sleep. But on the morrow, just as +they were eagerly recommencing their left-off consultations, the +Dervish appeared among them, and suggested that their first duty +still remained unthought of. + +"The incomparable sons were now really surprised, for they had been +flattering themselves they were most laudably employed. But the +Dervish reminded them, that, although their duty to mankind in +general was great, their duty to their father in particular was yet +greater, and that it behoved them to set his mind at rest, by +assuring him, that henceforth they would not prevent him from smoking +his pipe in peace, by restless discontent, and disturbing messages +and wants. + +"To this the young princes readily agreed, and thoroughly ashamed, on +reflection, of the years of harass with which they, in their +thoughtless ingratitude, had worried poor King Schelim, they repaired +to his presence, and without entering into unnecessary explanations, +(which he would not have understood,) assured him that they were +perfectly happy, that they had got plenty to do, as well as +everything to enjoy, that they were very sorry they had tormented him +for so long a period of his life, but that they begged to be +forgiven, and would never do so again! + +"King Schelim was uncommonly pleased with what they said, although he +had to lay down his pipe for a few minutes to receive their +salutations, and give his in return; after which they returned to +their palace on the hill, and led thenceforward useful, intelligent, +and therefore happy lives, reforming grievances, consoling sorrows, +and taking particular care that everybody had the opportunity of +having SOMETHING TO DO. + +"And as they never again disturbed their father King Schelim, with +foolish messages, he smoked his pipe in peace to the end of his +days." + +"Nice old Schelim!" observed No. 8, when Aunt Judy's pause showed +that the story was done. A conclusion which made the other little +ones laugh; but now Aunt Judy spoke again. + +"You like the story, all of you?" + +Could there be a doubt about it? No! "Schelim, King of the Hills, +and his four sons," was one of Aunt Judy's very, very, very, best +inventions. But they had the happy knack of always thinking so of +the last they heard. + +"And yet there is a flaw in it," said Aunt Judy. + +"Aunt Judy!" exclaimed several voices at once, in a tone of +expostulation. + +"Yes; I mean in the moral:" pursued she, "there is no Christianity in +the teaching, and therefore it is not perfect, although it is all +very good as far as it goes." + +"But they were eastern people, and I suppose Mahometans or Brahmins," +suggested No. 4. + +"Exactly; and, therefore, I could not give them Christian principles; +and, therefore, although I have made my four princes turn out very +well, and do what was right, for the rest of their lives (as I had a +right to do); yet it is only proper I should explain, that I do not +believe any people can be DEPENDED UPON for doing right, except when +they live upon Christian principles, and are helped by the grace of +God, to fulfil His will, as revealed to us by His Son Jesus Christ. + +"Certainly it is always more REASONABLE to do right than wrong, even +when the wrong may seem most pleasant at the moment; because, as all +people of sense know, doing right is most for their own happiness, as +well as for everybody else's, even in this world. + +"But although the knowledge of this may influence us when we are in a +sober enough state of mind to think about it calmly, the inducement +is not a sufficiently strong one to be relied upon as a safe-guard, +when storms of passion and strong temptations come upon us. In such +cases it very often goes for nothing, and then it is a perfect chance +which way a person acts. + +"Even in the matter of doing good to others, we need the Christian +principle as our motive, or we may be often tempted to give it up, or +even to be as cruel at some moments, as we are kind at others. It is +very pleasant, no doubt, to do good, and be charitable, when the +feeling comes into the heart, but the mere pleasure is apt to cease, +if we find people thankless or stupid, and that our labours seem to +have been in vain. And what a temptation there is, then, to turn +away in disgust, unless we are acting upon Christ's commands, and can +bear in mind, that even when the pleasure ends, the duty remains. + +"And now," said Aunt Judy in conclusion, "a kiss for the story-teller +all round, if you please. She has had an invitation, and is going +from home to-morrow." + +"Oh, Aunt Judy!" ejaculated the little ones, in not the most cheerful +of tones. + +"Well," cried Aunt Judy, looking at them and laughing, "you don't +mean to say that you will not find PLENTY TO DO, and PLENTY TO ENJOY +while I am away? Come, I mean to write to you all by turns, and I +shall inquire in my letters whether you have remembered, TO YOUR +EDIFICATION, the story of Schelim, King of the Hills, and his four +sons." + + + +Footnotes: + +{1} "Weide," pasture, grass. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, AUNT JUDY'S TALES *** + +This file should be named 5074.txt or 5074.zip + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Aunt Judy's Tales + +Author: Mrs Alfred Gatty + +Release Date: February, 2004 [EBook #5074] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on April 14, 2002] +[Most recently updated: April 14, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, AUNT JUDY'S TALES *** + + + + +Transcribed from the 1859 Bell and Daldy edition by David Price, +email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk +*** +AUNT JUDY'S TALES + + + + +TO THE "LITTLE ONES" IN MANY HOMES, +THIS VOLUME IS DEDICATED. +M. G. + + + +Contents: + The Little Victims + Vegetables out of Place + Cook Stories + Rabbits' Tails + Out of the Way + Nothing to do + + + +THE LITTLE VICTIMS. + + + +"Save our blessings, Master, save, +From the blight of thankless eye." +Lyra Innocentium. + + +There is not a more charming sight in the domestic world, than that +of an elder girl in a large family, amusing what are called the +LITTLE ONES. + +How could mamma have ventured upon that cosy nap in the arm-chair by +the fire, if she had been harassed by wondering what the children +were about? Whereas, as it was, she had overheard No. 8 begging the +one they all called "Aunt Judy," to come and tell them a story, and +she had beheld Aunt Judy's nod of consent; whereupon she had shut her +eyes, and composed herself to sleep quite complacently, under the +pleasant conviction that all things were sure to be in a state of +peace and security, so long as the children were listening to one of +those curious stories of Aunt Judy's, in which, with so much drollery +and amusement, there was sure to be mixed up some odd scraps of +information, or bits of good advice. + +So, mamma being asleep on one side of the fire, and papa reading the +newspaper on the other, Aunt Judy and No. 8 noiselessly left the +room, and repaired to the large red-curtained dining-room, where the +former sat down to concoct her story, while the latter ran off to +collect the little ones together. + +In less than five minutes' time there was a stream of noise along the +passage--a bursting open of the door, and a crowding round the fire, +by which Aunt Judy sat. + +The "little ones" had arrived in full force and high expectation. We +will not venture to state their number. An order from Aunt Judy, +that they should take their seats quietly, was but imperfectly +obeyed; and a certain amount of hustling and grumbling ensued, which +betrayed a rather quarrelsome tendency. + +At last, however, the large circle was formed, and the bright +firelight danced over sunny curls and eager faces. Aunt Judy glanced +her eye round the group; but whatever her opinion as an artist might +have been of its general beauty, she was by no means satisfied with +the result of her inspection. + +"No. 6 and No. 7," cried she, "you are not fit to listen to a story +at present. You have come with dirty hands." + +No. 6 frowned, and No. 7 broke out at once into a howl; he had washed +his hands ever so short a time ago, and had done nothing since but +play at knuckle-bones on the floor! Surely people needn't wash their +hands every ten minutes! It was very hard! + +Aunt Judy had rather a logical turn of mind, so she set about +expounding to the "little ones" in general, and to Nos. 6 and 7 in +particular, that the proper time for washing people's hands was when +their hands were dirty; no matter how lately the operation had been +performed before. Such, at least, she said, was the custom in +England, and everyone ought to be proud of belonging to so clean and +respectable a country. She, therefore, insisted that Nos. 6 and 7 +should retire up-stairs and perform the necessary ablution, or +otherwise they would be turned out, and not allowed to listen to the +story. + +Nos. 6 and 7 were rather restive. The truth was, it had been one of +those unlucky days which now and then will occur in families, in +which everything seemed to be perverse and go askew. It was a dark, +cold, rainy day in November, and going out had been impossible. The +elder boys had worried, and the younger ones had cried. It was +Saturday too, and the maids were scouring in all directions, waking +every echo in the back-premises by the grating of sand-stone on the +flags; and they had been a good deal discomposed by the family effort +to play at "Wolf" in the passages. Mamma had been at accounts all +the morning, trying to find out some magical corner in which expenses +could be reduced between then and the arrival of Christmas bills; +and, moreover, it was a half-holiday, and the children had, as they +call it, nothing to do. + +So Nos. 6 and 7, who had been vexed about several other little +matters before, during the course of the day, broke out now on the +subject of the washing of their hands. + +Aunt Judy was inexorable however--inexorable though cool; and the +rest got impatient at the delay which the debate occasioned: so, +partly by coaxing, and partly by the threat of being shut out from +hearing the story, Nos. 6 and 7 were at last prevailed upon to go up- +stairs and wash their grim little paws into that delicate shell-like +pink, which is the characteristic of juvenile fingers when clean. + +As they went out, however, they murmured, in whimpered tones, that +they were sure it was VERY HARD! + +After their departure, Aunt Judy requested the rest not to talk, and +a complete silence ensued, during which one or two of the youngest +evidently concluded that she was composing her story, for they stared +at her with all their might, as if to discover how she did it. + +Meantime the rain beat violently against the panes, and the red +curtains swayed to and fro from the effect of the wind, which, in +spite of tolerable woodwork, found its way through the divisions of +the windows. There was something very dreary in the sound, and very +odd in the varying shades of red which appeared upon the curtains as +they swerved backwards and forwards in the firelight. + +Several of the children observed it, but no one spoke until the +footsteps of Nos. 6 and 7 were heard approaching the door, on which a +little girl ventured to whisper, "I'm very glad I'm not out in the +wind and rain;" and a boy made answer, "Why, who would be so silly as +to think of going out in the wind and rain? Nobody, of course!" + +At that moment Nos. 6 and 7 entered, and took their places on two +little Derby chairs, having previously showed their pink hands in +sombre silence to Aunt Judy, whereupon Aunt Judy turned herself so as +to face the whole group, and then began her story as follows:- + +"There were once upon a time eight little Victims, who were shut up +in a large stone-building, where they were watched night and day by a +set of huge grown-up keepers, who made them do whatever they chose." + +"Don't make it TOO sad, Aunt Judy," murmured No. 8, half in a tremble +already. + +"You needn't be frightened, No. 8," was the answer; "my stories +always end well." + +"I'm so glad," chuckled No. 8 with a grin, as he clapped one little +fat hand down upon the other on his lap in complete satisfaction. +"Go on, please." + +"Was the large stone-building a prison, Aunt Judy?" inquired No. 7. + +"That depends upon your ideas of a prison," answered Aunt Judy. +"What do you suppose a prison is?" + +"Oh, a great big place with walls all round, where people are locked +up, and can't go in and out as they choose." + +"Very well. Then I think you may be allowed to call the place in +which the little Victims were kept a prison, for it certainly was a +great big place with walls all round, and they were locked up at +night, and not allowed to go in and out as they chose." + +"Poor things," murmured No. 8; but he consoled himself by +recollecting that the story was to end well. + +"Aunt Judy, before you go on, do tell us what VICTIMS are? Are they +fairies, or what? I don't know." + +This was the request of No. 5, who was rather more thoughtful than +the rest, and was apt now and then to delay a story by his inquiring +turn of mind. + +No. 6 was in a hurry to hear some more, and nudged No. 5 to make him +be quiet; but Aunt Judy interposed; said she did not like to tell +stories to people who didn't care to know what they meant, and +declared that No. 5 was quite right in asking what a victim was. + +"A victim," said she, "was the creature which the old heathens used +to offer up as a sacrifice, after they had gained a victory in +battle. You all remember I dare say," continued she, "what a +sacrifice is, and have heard about Abel's sacrifice of the firstlings +of his flock." + +The children nodded assent, and Aunt Judy went on:- + +"No such sacrifices are ever offered up now by us Christians, and so +there are no more real VICTIMS now. But we still use the word, and +call any creature a victim who is ill-used, or hurt, or destroyed by +somebody else. + +"If you, any of you, were to worry or kill the cat, for instance, +then the cat would be called THE VICTIM OF YOUR CRUELTY; and in the +same manner the eight little Victims I am going to tell you about +were the victims of the whims and cruel prejudices of those who had +the charge of them. + +"And now, before I proceed any further, I am going to establish a +rule, that whenever I tell you anything very sad about the little +Victims, you shall all of you groan aloud together. So groan here, +if you please, now that you quite understand what a victim is." + +Aunt Judy glanced round the circle, and they all groaned together to +order, led off by Nos. 3 and 4, who did not, it must be owned, look +in a very mournful state while they performed the ceremony. + +It was wonderful what good that groan did them all! It seemed to +clear off half the troubles of the day, and at its conclusion a smile +was visible on every face. + +Aunt Judy then proceeded:- + +"I do not want to make you cry too much, but I will tell you of the +miseries the captive victims underwent in the course of one single +day, and then you will be able to judge for yourselves what a life +they led together. + +"One of their heaviest miseries happened every evening. It was the +misery of GOING TO BED. Perhaps now you may think it sounds odd that +going to bed should be called a misery. But you shall hear how it +was. + +"In the evening, when all the doors were safely locked and bolted, so +that no one could get away, the little Victims were summoned down- +stairs, and brought into a room where some of the keepers were sure +to be sitting in the greatest luxury. There was generally a warm +fire on the hearth, and a beautiful lamp on the table, which shed an +agreeable light around, and made everything look so pretty and gay, +the hearts of the poor innocent Victims always rose at the sight. + +"Sometimes there would be a huge visitor or two present, who would +now and then take the Victims on their knees, and say all manner of +entertaining things to them. Or there would be nice games for them +to play at. Or the keepers themselves would kiss them, and call them +kind names, as if they really loved them. How nice all this sounds, +does it not? And it would have been nice, if the keepers would but +have let it last for ever. But that was just the one thing they +never would do, and the consequence was, that, whatever pleasure they +might have had, the wretched Victims always ended by being +dissatisfied and sad. + +"And how could it be otherwise? Just when they were at the height of +enjoyment, just when everything was most delightful, a horrible knock +was sure to be heard at the door, the meaning of which they all knew +but too well. It was the knock which summoned them to bed; and at +such a moment you cannot wonder that going to bed was felt to be a +misfortune. + +"Had there been a single one among them who was sleepy, or tired, or +ready for bed, there would have been some excuse for the keepers; but +as it was, there was none, for the little Victims never knew what it +was to feel tired or weary on those occasions, and were always +carried forcibly away before that feeling came on. + +"Of course, when the knock was heard, they would begin to cry, and +say that it was very hard, and that they didn't WANT to go to bed, +and one went so far once as to add that she WOULDN'T go to bed. + +"But it was all in vain. The little Victims might as well have +attempted to melt a stone wall as those hard-hearted beings who had +the charge of them. + +"And now, my dears," observed Aunt Judy, stopping in her account, +"this is of all others the exact moment at which you ought to show +your sympathy with the sufferers, and groan." + +The little ones groaned accordingly, but in a very feeble manner. + +Aunt Judy shook her head. + +"That groan is not half hearty enough for such a misery. Don't you +think, if you tried hard, you could groan a little louder?" + +They did try, and succeeded a little better, but cast furtive glances +at each other immediately after. + +"Were the beds very uncomfortable ones, Aunt Judy?" inquired No. 8, +in a subdued voice. + +"You shall judge for yourself," was the answer. "They were raised +off the floor upon legs, so that no wind from under the door could +get at them; and on the flat bottom called the bed-stock, there was +placed a thick strong bag called a mattress, which was stuffed with +some soft material which made it springy and pleasant to touch or lie +down upon. The shape of it was a long square, or what may be called +a rectangular parallelogram. I strongly advise you all to learn that +word, for it is rather an amusing idea as one steps into bed, to +think that one is going to sleep upon a parallelogram." + +Nos. 3 and 4 were here unable to contain themselves, but broke into a +peal of laughter. The little ones stared. + +"Well," resumed Aunt Judy, "for my part, I think it's a very nice +thing to learn the ins and outs of one's own life; to consider how +one's bed is made, and the why and wherefore of its shape and +position. It is a great pity to get so accustomed to things as not +to know their value till we lose them! But to proceed. + +"On the top of this parallelogramatic mattress was laid a soft +blanket. On the top of that blanket, two white sheets. On the top +of the sheets, two or more warm blankets, and on the top of the +blankets, a spotted cover called a counterpane. + +"Now it was between the sheets that each little Victim was laid, and +such were the receptacles to which they were unwillingly consigned, +night after night of their lives! + +"But I have not yet told you half the troubles of this dreadful +'going to bed.' A good fire with a large tub before it, and towels +hung over the fender, was always the first sight which met the +tearful eyes of the little Victims as they entered the nursery after +being torn from the joys of the room down-stairs. And then, lo and +behold! a new misery began, for, whether owing to the fatigue of +getting up-stairs, or that their feelings had been so much hurt, they +generally discovered at this moment that they were one and all so +excessively tired, they didn't know what to do;--of all things, did +not choose to be washed--and insisted, each of them, on being put to +bed first! But let them say what they would, and cry afresh as they +pleased, and even snap and snarl at each other like so many small +terriers, those cruel keepers of theirs never would grant their +requests; never would put any of them to bed dirty, and always +declared that it was impossible to put each of them to bed first! + +Imagine now the feelings of those who had to wait round the fire +while the others were attended to! Imagine the weariness, the +disgust, before the whole party was finished, and put by for the +night!" + +Aunt Judy paused, but no one spoke. + +"What!" cried she suddenly, "will nobody groan? Then I must groan +myself!" which she did, and a most unearthly noise she made; so much +so, that two or three of the little ones turned round to look at the +swelling red curtains, just to make sure the howl did not proceed +from thence. + +After which Aunt Judy continued her tale:- + +"So much for night and going to bed, about which there is nothing +more to relate, as the little Victims were uncommonly good sleepers, +and seldom awoke till long after daylight. + +"Well now, what do you think? By the time they had had a good night, +they felt so comfortable in their beds, that they were quite +contented to remain there; and then, of course, their tormentors +never rested till they had forced them to get up! Poor little +things! Just think of their being made to go to bed at night, when +they most disliked it, and then made to get up in the morning, when +they wanted to stay in bed! It certainly was, as they always said, +'very, very hard.' This was, of course, a winter misery, when the +air was so frosty and cold that it was very unpleasant to jump out +into it from a warm nest. Terrible scenes took place on these +occasions, I assure you, for sometimes the wretched Victims would sit +shivering on the floor, crying over their socks and shoes instead of +putting them on, (which they had no spirit for,) and then the savage +creatures who managed them would insult them by irritating speeches. + +"'Come, Miss So-and-So,' one would say, 'don't sit fretting there; +there's a warm fire, and a nice basin of bread-and-milk waiting for +you, if you will only be quick and get ready.' + +"Get ready! a nice order indeed! It meant that they must wash +themselves and be dressed before they would be allowed to touch a +morsel of food. + +"But it is of no use dwelling on the unfeelingness of those keepers. +One day one of them actually said:- + +"'If you knew what it was to have to get up without a fire to come +to, and without a breakfast to eat, you would leave off grumbling at +nothing.' + +"NOTHING! they called it NOTHING to have to get out of a warm bed +into the fresh morning air, and dress before breakfast! + +"Well, my dears," pursued Aunt Judy, after waiting here a few +seconds, to see if anybody would groan, "I shall take it for granted +you feel for the GETTING-UP misery as well as the GOING-TO-BED one, +although you have not groaned as I expected. I will just add, in +conclusion, that the summer GETTING-UP misery was just the reverse of +this winter one. Then the poor little wretches were expected to wait +till their nursery was dusted and swept; so there they had to lie, +sometimes for half-an-hour, with the sun shining in upon them, not +allowed to get up and come out into the dirt and dust! + +"Of course, on those occasions they had nothing to do but squabble +among themselves and teaze; and I assure you they had every now and +then a very pleasant little revenge on their keepers, for they half +worried them out of their lives by disturbances and complaints, and +at any rate that was some comfort to them, although very often it +hindered the nursery from being done half as soon as it would have +been if they had been quiet. + +"I shall not have time to tell of everything," continued Aunt Judy, +"so I must hurry over the breakfast, although the keepers contrived +to make even that miserable, by doing all they could to prevent the +little Victims from spilling their food on the table and floor, and +also by insisting on the poor little things sitting tolerably upright +on their seats--NOT lolling with both elbows on the table-cloth--NOT +making a mess--not, in short, playing any of those innocent little +pranks in which young creatures take delight. + +"It was a pitiable spectacle, as you may suppose, to see reasonable +beings constrained against their inclinations to sit quietly while +they ate their hearty morning meal, which really, perhaps, they might +have enjoyed, had they been allowed to amuse themselves in their own +fashion at the same time. + +"But I must go on now to that great misery of the day, which I shall +call the LESSON misery. + +"Now you must know, the little Victims were all born, as young kids, +lambs, kittens, and puppy-dogs are, with a decided liking for jumping +about and playing all day long. Think, therefore, what their +sufferings were when they were placed in chairs round a table, and +obliged to sit and stare at queer looking characters in books until +they had learned to know them what was called BY HEART. It was a +very odd way of describing it, for I am sure they had often no heart +in the matter, unless it was a hearty dislike. + +"'Tommy Brown in the village never learns any lessons,' cried one of +them once to the creature who was teaching him, 'why should I? He is +always playing at oyster-dishes in the gutter when I see him, and +enjoying himself. I wish _I_ might enjoy myself!' + +"Poor Victim! He little thought what a tiresome lecture this clever +remark of his would bring on his devoted head! + +"Don't ask me to repeat it. It amounted merely to this, that twenty +years hence he would he very glad he had learnt something else +besides making oyster-dishes in the streets. As if that signified to +him now! As if it took away the nuisance of having to learn at the +present moment, to be told it would be of use hereafter! What was +the use of its being of use by-and-by? + +"So thought the little Victim, young as he was; so, said he, in a +muttering voice:- + +"'I don't care about twenty years hence; I want to be happy now!' + +"This was unanswerable, as you may suppose; so the puzzled teacher +didn't attempt to make a reply, but said:- + +"'Go on with your lessons, you foolish little boy!' + +"See what it is to be obstinate," pursued Aunt Judy. "See how it +blinds people's eyes, and prevents them from knowing right from +wrong! Pray take warning, and never be obstinate yourselves; and +meantime, let us have a good hearty groan for the LESSON misery." + +The little ones obeyed, and breathed out a groan that seemed to come +from the very depths of their hearts; but somehow or other, as the +story proceeded, the faces looked rather less amused, and rather more +anxious, than at first. + +What could the little ones be thinking about to make them grave? + +It was evidently quite a relief when Aunt Judy went on:- + +"You will be very much surprised, I dare say," said she, "to hear of +the next misery I am going to tell you about. It may be called the +DINNER misery, and the little Victims underwent it every day." + +"Did they give them nasty things to eat, Aunt Judy?" murmured No. 8, +very anxiously. + +"More likely not half enough," suggested No. 5. + +"But you promised not to make the story TOO sad, remember!" observed +No. 6. + +"I did," replied Aunt Judy, "and the DINNER misery did not consist in +nasty food, or there not being enough. They had plenty to eat, I +assure you, and everything was good. But--" + +Aunt Judy stopped short, and glanced at each of the little ones in +succession. + +"Make haste, Aunt Judy!" cried No. 8. "But what?" + +"BUT," resumed Aunt Judy, in her most impressive tone, "they had to +wait between the courses." + +Again Aunt Judy paused, and there was a looking hither and thither +among the little ones, and a shuffling about on the small Derby +chairs, while one or two pairs of eyes were suddenly turned to the +fire, as if watching it relieved a certain degree of embarrassment +which their owners began to experience. + +"It is not every little boy or girl," was Aunt Judy's next remark, +"who knows what the courses of a dinner are." + +"_I_ don't," interposed No. 8, in a distressed voice, as if he had +been deeply injured. + +"Oh, you think not? Well, not by name, perhaps," answered Aunt Judy. +"But I will explain. The courses of a dinner are the different sorts +of food, which follow each other one after the other, till dinner is +what people call 'over.' Thus, supposing a dinner was to begin with +pea-soup, as you have sometimes seen it do, you would expect when it +was taken away to see some meat put upon the table, should you not?" + +The little ones nodded assent. + +"And after the meat was gone, you would expect pie or pudding, eh?" + +They nodded assent again, and with a smile. + +"And if after the pudding was carried away, you saw some cheese and +celery arrive, it would not startle you very much, would it?" + +The little ones did nothing but laugh. + +"Very well," pursued Aunt Judy, "such a dinner as we have been +talking about consists of four courses. The soup course, the meat +course, the pudding course, and the cheese course. And it was while +one course was being carried out, and another fetched in, that the +little Victims had to wait; and that was the DINNER misery I spoke +about, and a very grievous affair it was. Sometimes they had +actually to wait several minutes, with nothing to do but to fidget on +their chairs, lean backwards till they toppled over, or forward till +some accident occurred at the table. And then, poor little things, +if they ventured to get out their knuckle-bones for a game, or took +to a little boxing amusement among themselves, or to throwing the +salt in each other's mugs, or pelting each other with bits of bread, +or anything nice and entertaining, down came those merciless keepers +on their innocent mirth, and the old stupid order went round for +sitting upright and quiet. Nothing that I can say about it would be +half as expressive as what the little Victims used to say themselves. +They said that it was 'SO VERY HARD.' + +"Now, then, a good groan for the DINNER misery," exclaimed Aunt Judy +in conclusion. + +The order was obeyed, but somewhat reluctantly, and then Aunt Judy +proceeded with her tale. + +"On one occasion of the DINNER misery," resumed she, "there happened +to be a stranger lady present, who seemed to be very much shocked by +what the Victims had to undergo, and to pity them very much; so she +said she would set them a nice little puzzle to amuse them till the +second course arrived. But now, what do you think the puzzle was? +It was a question, and this was it. 'Which is the harder thing to +bear--to have to wait for your dinner, or to have no dinner to wait +for?' + +"I do not think the little Victims would have quite known what the +stranger lady meant, if she had not explained herself; for you see +THEY had never gone without dinner in their lives, so they had not an +idea what sort of a feeling it was to have NO DINNER TO WAIT FOR. +But she went on to tell them what it was like as well as she could. +She described to them little Tommy Brown, (whom they envied so much +for having no lessons to do,) eating his potatoe soaked in the +dripping begged at the squire's back-door, without anything else to +wait--or hope for. She told them that HE was never teazed as to how +he sat, or even whether he sat or stood, and then she asked them if +they did not think he was a very happy little boy? He had no trouble +or bother, but just ate his rough morsel in any way he pleased, and +then was off, hungry or not hungry, into the streets again. + +"To tell you the truth," pursued Aunt Judy, "the Victims did not know +what to say to the lady's account of little Tommy Brown's happiness; +but as the roast meat came in just as it concluded, perhaps that +diverted their attention. However, after they had all been helped, +it was suddenly observed that one of them would not begin to eat. He +sat with his head bent over his plate, and his cheeks growing redder +and redder, till at last some one asked what was amiss, and why he +would not go on with his dinner, on which he sobbed out that he had +'much rather it was taken to little Tommy Brown!'" + +"That was a very GOOD little Victim, wasn't he?" asked No. 8. + +"But what did the keepers say?" inquired No. 5, rather anxiously. + +"Oh," replied Aunt Judy, "it was soon settled that Tommy Brown was to +have the dinner, which made the little Victim so happy, he actually +jumped for joy. On which the stranger lady told them she hoped they +would henceforth always ask themselves her curious question whenever +they sat down to a good meal again. 'For,' said she, 'my dears, it +will teach you to be thankful; and you may take my word for it, it is +always the ungrateful people who are the most miserable ones.'" + +"Oh, Aunt Judy!" here interposed No. 6, somewhat vehemently, "you +need not tell any more! I know you mean US by the little Victims! +But you don't think we really MEAN to be ungrateful about the beds, +or the dinners, or anything, do you?" + +There was a melancholy earnestness in the tone of the inquiry, which +rather grieved Aunt Judy, for she knew it was not well to magnify +childish faults into too great importance: so she took No. 6 on her +knee, and assured her she never imagined such a thing as their being +really ungrateful, for a moment. If she had, she added, she should +not have turned their little ways into fun, as she had done in the +story. + +No. 6 was comforted somewhat on hearing this, but still leant her +head on Aunt Judy's shoulder in a rather pensive state. + +"I wonder what makes one so tiresome," mused the meditative No. 5, +trying to view the matter quite abstractedly, as if he himself was in +no way concerned in it. + +"Thoughtlessness only," replied Aunt Judy, smiling. "I have often +heard mamma say it is not ingratitude in CHILDREN when they don't +think about the comforts they enjoy every day; because the comforts +seem to them to come, like air and sunshine, as a mere matter of +course." + +"Really?" exclaimed No. 6, in a quite hopeful tone. "Does mamma +really say that?" + +Yes; but then you know," continued Aunt Judy, "everybody has to be +taught to think by degrees, and then they get to know that no +comforts ever do really come to anybody as a matter of course. No, +not even air and sunshine; but every one of them as blessings +permitted by God, and which, therefore, we have to be thankful for. +So you see we have to LEARN to be thankful as we have to learn +everything else, and mamma says it is a lesson that never ends, even +for grown-up people. + +"And now you understand, No. 6, that you--oh! I beg pardon, I mean +THE LITTLE VICTIMS--were not really ungrateful, but only thoughtless; +and the wonderful stranger lady did something to cure them of that, +and, in fact, proved a sort of Aunt Judy to them; for she explained +things in such a very entertaining manner, that they actually began +to think the matter over; and then they left off being stupid and +unthankful. + +"But this reminds me," added Aunt Judy, "that you--tiresome No. 6-- +have spoilt my story after all! I had not half got to the end of the +miseries. For instance, there was the TAKING-CARE misery, in +consequence of which the little Victims were sent out to play on a +fine day, and kept in when it was stormy and wet, all because those +stupid keepers were more anxious to keep them well in health than to +please them at the moment. + +"And then there was--above all--" here Aunt Judy became very +impressive, "the WASHING misery, which consisted in their being +obliged to make themselves clean and comfortable with soap and water +whenever they happened to be dirty, whether with playing at knuckle- +bones on the floor, or anything else, and which was considered SO +HARD that--" + +But here a small hand was laid on Aunt Judy's mouth, and a gentle +voice said, "Stop, Aunt Judy, now!" on which the rest shouted, "Stop! +stop! we won't hear any more," in chorus, until all at once, in the +midst of the din, there sounded outside the door the ominous +knocking, which announced the hour of repose to the juvenile branches +of the family. + +It was a well-known summons, but on this occasion produced rather an +unusual effect. First, there was a sudden profound silence, and +pause of several seconds; then an interchange of glances among the +little ones; then a breaking out of involuntary smiles upon several +young faces; and at last a universal "Good-night, Aunt Judy!" very +quietly and demurely spoken. + +"If the little Victims were only here to see how YOU behave over the +GOING-TO-BED misery, what a lesson it would be!" suggested Aunt Judy, +with a mischievous smile. + +"Ah, yes, yes, we know, we know!" was the only reply, and it came +from No. 8, who took advantage of being the youngest to be more saucy +than the rest. + +Aunt Judy now led the little party into the drawing-room to bid their +father and mother good-night too. And certainly when the door was +opened, and they saw how bright and cosy everything looked, in the +light of the fire and the lamps, with mamma at the table, wide awake +and smiling, they underwent a fearful twinge of the GOING-TO-BED +misery. But they checked all expression of their feelings. Of +course, mamma asked what Aunt Judy's story had been about, and heard; +and heard, too, No. 6's little trouble lest she should have been +guilty of the sin of real ingratitude; and, of course, mamma +applauded Aunt Judy's explanation about the want of thought, very +much indeed. + +"But, mamma," said No. 6 to her mother, "Aunt Judy said something +about grown-up people having to learn to be thankful. Surely you and +papa never cry for nonsense, and things you can't have?" + +"Ah, my darling No. 6," cried mamma earnestly, "grown-up people may +not CRY for what they want exactly, but they are just as apt to wish +for what they cannot have, as you little ones are. For instance, +grown-up people would constantly like to have life made easier and +more agreeable to them, than God chooses it to be. They would like +to have a little more wealth, perhaps, or a little more health, or a +little more rest, or that their children should always be good and +clever, and well and happy. And while they are thinking and fretting +about the things they want, they forget to be thankful for those they +have. I am often tempted in this way myself, dear No. 6; so you see +Aunt Judy is right, and the lesson of learning to be thankful never +ends, even for grown-up people. + +"One other word before you go. I dare say you little ones think we +grown-up people are quite independent, and can do just as we like. +But it is not so. We have to learn to submit to the will of the +great Keeper of Heaven and earth, without understanding it, just as +Aunt Judy's little Victims had to submit to their keepers without +knowing why. So thank Aunt Judy for her story, and let us all do our +best to be obedient and contented." + +"When I am old enough, mother," remarked No. 7, in his peculiarly +mild and deliberate way of speaking, and smiling all the time, "I +think I shall put Aunt Judy into a story. Don't you think she would +make a capital Ogre's wife, like the one in 'Jack and the Bean- +Stalk,' who told Jack how to behave, and gave him good advice?" + +It was a difficult question to say "No" to, so mamma kissed No. 7, +instead of answering him, and No. 7 smiled himself away, with his +head full of the bright idea. + + + +VEGETABLES OUT OF PLACE. + + + +"But any man that walks the mead, + In bud or blade, or bloom, may find, +According as his humours lead, + A meaning suited to his mind." +TENNYSON. + +It was a fine May morning. Not one of those with an east wind and a +bright sun, which keep people in a puzzle all as day to whether it is +hot or cold, and cause endless nursery disputes about the keeping on +of comforters and warm coats, whenever a hoop-race, or some such +active exertion, has brought a universal puggyness over the juvenile +frame--but it was a really mild, sweet-scented day, when it is quite +a treat to be out of doors, whether in the gardens, the lanes, or the +fields, and when nothing but a holland jacket is thought necessary by +even the most tiresomely careful of mammas. + +It was not a day which anybody would have chosen to be poorly upon; +but people have no choice in such matters, and poor little No. 7, of +our old friends "the little ones," was in bed ill of the measles. + +The wise old Bishop, Jeremy Taylor, told us long ago, how well +children generally bear sickness. "They bear it," he says, "by a +direct sufferance;" that is to say, they submit to just what +discomfort exists at the moment, without fidgetting about either a +cause or a consequence," and decidedly without fretting about what is +to come. + +For a grown-up person to attain to the same state of unanxious +resignation, is one of the high triumphs of Christian faith. It is +that "delivering one's self up," of which the poor speak so forcibly +on their sick-beds. + +No. 7 proved a charming instance of the truth of Jeremy Taylor's +remark. He behaved in the most composed manner over his feelings, +and even over his physic. + +During the first day or two, when he sat shivering by the fire, +reading "Neill D'Arcy's Life at Sea," and was asked how he felt, he +answered with his usual smile; "Oh, all right; only a little cold now +and then." And afterwards, when he was in bed in a darkened room, +and the same question was put, he replied almost as quietly, (though +without the smile,) "Oh--only a little too hot." + +Then over the medicine, he contested nothing. He made, indeed, one +or two by no means injudicious suggestions, as to the best method of +having the disagreeable material, whether powdery or oleaginous, (I +will not particularize further!) conveyed down his throat: commonly +said, "Thank you," even before he had swallowed it; and then shut his +eyes, and kept himself quiet. + +Fortunately No. 1, and Schoolboy No. 3, had had the complaint as well +as papa and mamma, so there were plenty to share in the nursing and +house matters. The only question was, what was to be done with the +little ones while Nurse was so busy; and Aunt Judy volunteered her +services in their behalf. + +Now it will easily be supposed, after what I have said, that the +nursing was not at all a difficult undertaking; but I am grieved to +say that Aunt Judy's task was by no means so easy a one. + +The little ones were very sorry, it is true, that No. 7 was poorly; +but, unluckily, they forgot it every time they went either up-stairs +or down. They could not bear in their minds the fact, that when they +encouraged the poodle to bark after an India-rubber ball, he was +pretty sure to wake No. 7 out of a nap; and, in short, the day being +so fine, and the little ones so noisy, Aunt Judy packed them all off +into their gardens to tidy them up, she herself taking her station in +a small study, the window of which looked out upon the family play- +ground. + +Her idea, perhaps, was, that she could in this way combine the +prosecution of her own studies, with enacting policeman over the +young gardeners, and "keeping the peace," as she called it. But if +so, she was doomed to disappointment. + +The operation of "tidying up gardens," as performed by a set of +"little ones," scarcely needs description. + +It consists of a number of alterations being thought of, and set +about, not one of which is ever known to be finished by those who +begin them. It consists of everybody wanting the rake at the same +moment, and of nobody being willing to use the other tools, which +they call stupid and useless things. It consists of a great many +plants being moved from one place to another, when they are in full +flower, and dying in consequence. (But how, except when they are in +flower, can anyone judge where they will look best?) It consists of +a great many seeds being prevented from coming up at all, by an +"alteration" cutting into the heart of the patch just as they were +bursting their shells for a sprout. It consists of an unlimited and +fatal application of the cold-water cure. + +And, finally, it results in such a confusion between foot-walks and +beds--such a mixture of earth and gravel, and thrown-down tools--that +anyone unused to the symptoms of the case, might imagine that the +door of the pigsty in the yard had been left open, and that its +inhabitant had been performing sundry uncouth gambols with his nose +in the little ones' gardens. + +Aunt Judy was quite aware of these facts, and she had accordingly +laid down several rules, and given several instructions to prevent +the usual catastrophe; and all went very smoothly at first in +consequence. The little ones went out all hilarity and delight, and +divided the tools with considerable show of justice, while Aunt Judy +nodded to them approvingly out of her window, and then settled down +to an interesting sum in that most peculiar of all arithmetical +rules, "The Rule of False," the principle of which is, that out of +two errors, made by yourself from two wrong guesses, you arrive at a +discovery of the truth! + +When Aunt Judy first caught sight of this rule, a few days before, at +the end of an old summing-book, it struck her fancy at once. The +principle of it was capable of a much more general application than +to the "Rule of False," and she amused herself by studying it up. + +It is, no doubt, a clumsy substitute for algebra; but young folks who +have not learnt algebra, will find it a very entertaining method of +making out all such sums as the following old puzzler, over which +Aunt Judy was now poring: + +"There is a certain fish, whose head is 9 inches in length, his tail +as long as his head and half of his back, and his back as long as +both head and tail together. Query, the length of the fish?" + +But Aunt Judy was not left long in peace with her fish. While she +was in the thick of "suppositions" and "errors," a tap came at the +window. + +"Aunt Judy!" + +"Stop!" was the answer; and the hand of the speaker went up, with the +slate-pencil in it, enforcing silence while she pursued her +calculations. + +"Say, back 42 inches; then tail (half back) 21, and head given, 9, +that's 30, and 30 and 9, 39 back.--Won't do! Second error: three +inches--What's the matter, No. 6? You surely have not begun to +quarrel already?" + +"Oh, no," answered No. 6, with her nose flattened against the window- +pane. "But please, Aunt Judy, No. 8 won't have the oyster-shell +trimming round his garden any longer, he says; he says it looks so +rubbishy. But as my garden joins his down the middle, if he takes +away the oyster-shells all round his, then one of MY sides--the one +in the middle, I mean--will be left bare, don't you see? and I want +to keep the oyster-shells all round may garden, because mamma says +there are still some zoophytes upon them. So how is it to be?" + +What a perplexity! The fish with his nine-inch head, and his tail as +long as his head and half of his back, was a mere nothing to it. + +Aunt Judy threw open the window. + +"My dear No. 6," answered she, "yours is the great boundary-line +question about which nations never do agree, but go squabbling on +till some one has to give way first. There is but one plan for +settling it, and that is, for each of you to give up a piece of your +gardens to make a road to run between. Now if you'll both give way +at once, and consent to this, I will come out to you myself, and +leave my fish till the evening. It's much too fine to stay in doors, +I feel; and I can give you all something real to do." + +"I'LL give way, I'm sure, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, quite glad to be +rid of the dispute; "and so will you, won't you, No. 8?" she added, +appealing to that young gentleman, who stood with his pinafore full +of dirty oyster-shells, not quite understanding the meaning of what +was said. + +"I'll WHAT?" inquired he. + +"Oh, never mind! Only throw the oyster-shells down, and come with +Aunt Judy. It will be much better fun than staying here." + +No. 8 lowered his pinafore at the word of command, and dropped the +discarded oyster-shells, one by one--where do you think?--why--right +into the middle of his little garden! an operation which seemed to be +particularly agreeable to him, if one might judge by his face. He +was not sorry either to be relieved from the weight. + +"You see, Aunt Judy," continued No. 6 to her sister, who had now +joined them, "it doesn't so much matter about the oyster-shell +trimming; but No. 8's garden is always in such a mess, that I must +have a wall or something between us!" + +"You shall have a wall or a path decidedly," replied Aunt Judy: "a +road is the next best thing to a river for a boundary-line. But now, +all of you, pick up the tools and come with me, and you shall do some +regular work, and be paid for it at the rate of half-a-farthing for +every half hour. Think what a magnificent offer!" + +The little ones thought so in reality, and welcomed the arrangement +with delight, and trudged off behind Aunt Judy, calculating so hard +among themselves what their conjoint half-farthings would come to, +for the half-hours they all intended to work, and furthermore, what +amount or variety of "goodies" they would purchase, that Aunt Judy +half fancied herself back in the depths of the "Rule of False" again! + +She led them at last to a pretty shrubbery-walk, of which they were +all very fond. On one side of it was a quick-set hedge, in which the +honeysuckle was mixed so profusely with the thorn, that they grew and +were clipped together. + +It was the choicest spot for a quiet evening stroll in summer that +could possibly be imagined. The sweet scent from the honeysuckle +flowers stole around you with a welcome as you moved along, and set +you a dreaming of some far-off region where the delicious sensations +produced by the odour of flowers may not be as transient as they are +here. + +There was an alcove in the middle of the walk--not one of the modern +mockeries of rusticity--but a real old-fashioned lath-and-plaster +concern, such as used to be erected in front of a bowling-green. It +was roofed in, was open only on the sunny side, and was supported by +a couple of little Ionic pillars, up which clematis and passion- +flower were studiously trained. + +There was a table as well as seats within; and the alcove was a very +nice place for either reading or drawing in, as it commanded a pretty +view of the distant country. It was also, and perhaps especially, +suited to the young people in their more poetical and fanciful moods. + +The little ones had no sooner reached the entrance of the favourite +walk, than they scampered past Aunt Judy to run a race; but No. 6 +stopped suddenly short. + +"Aunt Judy, look at these horrible weeds! Ah! I do believe this is +what you have brought us here for!" + +It was indeed; for some showers the evening before, had caused them +to flourish in a painfully prominent manner, and the favourite walk +presented a somewhat neglected appearance. + +So Aunt Judy marked it off for the little ones to weed, repeated the +exhilarating promise of the half-farthings, and seated herself in the +alcove to puzzle out the length of the fish. + +At first it was rather amusing to hear, how even in the midst of +their weeding, the little ones pursued their calculations of the +anticipated half-farthings, and discussed the niceness and prices of +the various descriptions of "goodies." + +But by degrees, less and less was said; and at last, the half- +farthings and "goodies" seemed altogether forgotten, and a new idea +to arise in their place. + +The new idea was, that this weeding-task was uncommonly troublesome! + +"I'm sure there are many more weeds in my piece than in anybody +else's!" remarked the tallest of the children, standing up to rest +his rather tired back, and contemplate the walk. "I don't think Aunt +Judy measured it out fair!" + +"Well, but you're the biggest, and ought to do the most," responded +No. 6. + +"A LITTLE the most is all very well," persisted No. 5; "but I've got +TOO MUCH the most rather--and it's very tiresome work." + +"What nonsense!" rejoined No. 6. "I don't believe the weeds are any +thicker in your piece than in mine. Look at my big heap. And I'm +sure I'm quite as tired as you are." + +No. 6 got up as she spoke, to see how matters were going on; not at +all sorry either, to change her position. + +"I'VE got the most," muttered No. 8 to himself, still kneeling over +his work. + +But this was, it is to be feared, a very unjustifiable bit of brag. + +"If you go on talking so much, you will not get any half-farthings at +all!" shouted No. 4, from the distance. + +A pause followed this warning, and the small party ducked down again +to their work. + +They no longer liked it, however; and very soon afterwards the jocose +No. 5 observed, in subdued tones to the others:- + +"I wonder what THE LITTLE VICTIMS would have said to this kind of +thing?" + +"They'd have hated it," answered No. 6, very decidedly. + +The fact was, the little ones were getting really tired, for the fine +May morning had turned into a hot day; and in a few minutes more, a +still further aggravation of feeling took place. + +No. 6 got up again, shook the gravel from her frock, blew it off her +hands, pushed back a heap of heavy curls from her face, set her hat +as far back on her head as she could, and exclaimed:- + +"I wish there were no such things as weeds in the world!" + +Everybody seemed struck with this impressive sentiment, for they all +left off weeding at once, and Aunt Judy came forward to the front of +the alcove. + +"Don't you, Aunt Judy?" added No. 6, feeling sure her sister had +heard. + +"Not I, indeed," answered Aunt Judy, with a comical smile: "I'm too +fond of cream to my tea." + +"Cream to your tea, Aunt Judy? What can that have to do with it?" + +The little ones were amazed. + +"Something," at any rate, responded Aunt Judy; "and if you like to +come in here, and sit down, I will tell you how." + +Away went hoes and weeding-knives at once, and into the alcove they +rushed; and never had garden-seats felt so thoroughly comfortable +before. + +"If one begins to wish," suggested No. 5, stretching his legs out to +their full extent, "one may as well wish oneself a grand person with +a lot of gardeners to clear away the weeds as fast as they come up, +and save one the trouble." + +"Much better wish them away, and save everybody the trouble," +persisted No. 6. + +"No: one wants them sometimes." + +"What an idea! Who ever wants weeds?" + +"You yourself." + +"I? What nonsense!" + +But the persevering No. 5 proceeded to explain. No. 6 had asked him +a few days before to bring her some groundsel for her canary, and he +had been quite disappointed at finding none in the garden. He had +actually to "trail" into the lanes to fetch a bit. + +This was a puzzling statement; so No. 6 contented herself with +grumbling out:- + +"Weeds are welcome to grow in the lanes." + +"Weeds are not always weeds in the lanes," persisted No. 5, with a +grin: "they're sometimes wild-flowers." + +"I don't care what they are," pouted No. 6. "I wish I lived in a +place where there were none." + +"And I wish I was a great man, with lots of gardeners to take them +up, instead of me," maintained No. 5, who was in a mood of lazy +tiresomeness, and kept rocking to and fro on the garden-chair, with +his hands tucked under his thighs. "A weed--a weed," continued he; +"what is a weed, I wonder? Aunt Judy, what is a weed?" + +Aunt Judy had surely been either dreaming or cogitating during the +last few minutes, for she had taken no notice of what was said, but +she roused up now, and answered:- + +"A vegetable out of its place." + +"A VEGETABLE," repeated No. 5, "why we don't eat them, Aunt Judy." + +"You kitchen-garden interpreter, who said we did?" replied she. "All +green herbs are VEGETABLES, let me tell you, whether we eat them or +not." + +"Oh, I see," mused No. 5, quietly enough, but in another instant he +broke out again. + +"I'll tell you what though, some of them are real vegetables, I mean +kitchen-garden vegetables, to other creatures, and that's why they're +wanted. Groundsel's a vegetable, it's the canary's vegetable. I +mean his kitchen-garden vegetable, and if he had a kitchen-garden of +his own, he would grow it as we do peas. So I was right after all, +No. 6!" + +That TWIT at the end spoilt everything, otherwise this was really a +bright idea of No. 5's. + +"Aunt Judy, do begin to talk yourself," entreated No. 6. "I wish No. +5 would be quiet, and not teaze." + +"And he wishes the same of you," replied Aunt Judy, "and I wish the +same of you all. What is to be done? Come, I will tell you a story, +on one positive understanding, namely, that whoever teazes, or even +TWITS, shall be turned out of the company." + +No. 5 sat up in his chair like a dart in an instant, and vowed that +he would be the best of the good, till Aunt Judy had finished her +story. + +"After which--" concluded he, with a wink and another grin. + +"After which, I shall expect you to be better still," was Aunt Judy's +emphatic rejoinder. And peace being now completely established, she +commenced: "There was once upon a time--what do you think?"--here +she paused and looked round in the children's faces. + +"A giant!" exclaimed No. 8. + +"A beautiful princess!" suggested No. 6. + +"SOMETHING," said Aunt Judy, "but I am not going to tell you what at +present. You must find out for yourselves. Meantime I shall call it +SOMETHING, or merely make a grunting--hm--when I allude to it, as +people do to express a blank." + +The little ones shuffled about in delighted impatience at the notion +of the mysterious "something" which they were to find out, and Aunt +Judy proceeded:- + +"This--hm--then, lived in a large meadow field, where it was the +delight of all beholders. The owner of the property was constantly +boasting about it to his friends, for he maintained that it was the +richest, and most beautiful, and most valuable--hm--in all the +country round. Surely no other thing in this world ever found itself +more admired or prized than this SOMETHING did. The commonest +passer-by would notice it, and say all manner of fine things in its +praise, whether in the early spring, the full summer, or the autumn, +for at each of these seasons it put on a fresh charm, and formed a +subject of conversation. 'Only look at that lovely--hm--' was quite +a common exclamation at the sight of it. 'What a colour it has! How +fresh and healthy it looks! How invaluable it must be! Why, it must +be worth at least--' and then the speaker would go calculating away +at the number of pounds, shillings, and pence, the--hm--would fetch, +if put into the money-market, which is, I am sorry to say, a very +usual, although very degrading way of estimating worth. + +"To conclude, the mild-eyed Alderney cow, who pastured in the field +during the autumn months, would chew the cud of approbation over the- +-hm--for hours together, and people said it was no wonder at all that +she gave such delicious milk and cream." + +Here a shout of supposed discovery broke from No. 5. "I've guessed, +I know it!" + +But a "hush" from Aunt Judy stopped him short. + +"No. 5, nobody asked your opinion, keep it to yourself, if you +please." + +No. 5 was silenced, but rubbed his hands nevertheless. + +"Well," continued Aunt Judy, "that 'SOMETHING' ought surely to have +been the most contented thing in the world. Its merits were +acknowledged; its usefulness was undoubted; its beauty was the theme +of constant admiration; what had it left to wish for? Really +nothing; but by an unlucky accident it became dissatisfied with its +situation in a meadow field, and wished to get into a higher position +in life, which, it took for granted, would be more suited to its many +exalted qualities. The 'SOMETHING' of the field wanted to inhabit a +garden. The unlucky accident that gave rise to this foolish idea, +was as follows:- + +"A little boy was running across the beautiful meadow one morning, +with a tin-pot full of fishing bait in his hand, when suddenly he +stumbled and fell down. + +"The bait in the tin-pot was some lob-worms, which the little boy had +collected out of the garden adjoining the field, and they were spilt +and scattered about by his fall. + +"He picked up as many as he could find, however, and ran off again; +but one escaped his notice and was left behind. + +"This gentleman was insensible for a few seconds; but as soon as he +came to himself, and discovered that he was in a strange place, he +began to grumble and find fault. + +"'What an uncouth neighbourhood!' Such were his exclamations. 'What +rough impracticable roads! Was ever lob-worm so unlucky before!' It +was impossible to move an inch without bumping his sides against some +piece of uncultivated ground. + +"Judge for yourselves, my dears," continued Aunt Judy, pathetically, +"what must have been the feelings of the 'SOMETHING' which had lived +proudly and happily in the meadow field for so long, on hearing such +offensive remarks. + +"Its spirit was up in a minute, just as yours would have been, and it +did not hesitate to inform the intruder that travellers who find +fault with a country before they have taken the trouble to inquire +into its merits, are very ignorant and impertinent people. + +"This was blow for blow, as you perceive; and the TEAZE-AND-TWIT +system was now continued with great animation on both sides. + +"The lob-worm inquired, with a conceited wriggle, what could be the +merits of a country, where gentlemanly, gliding, thin-skinned +creatures like himself were unable to move about without personal +annoyance? Whereupon the amiable 'SOMETHING' made no scruple of +telling the lob-worm that his BETTERS found no fault with the place, +and instanced its friend and admirer the Alderney cow. + +"On which the lob-worm affected forgetfulness, and exclaimed, 'Cow? +cow? do I know the creature? Ah! Yes, I recollect now; clumsy legs, +horny feet, and that sort of thing,' proceeding to hint that what was +good enough for a cow, might yet not be refined enough for his own +more delicate habits. + +"'It is my misfortune, perhaps,' concluded he, with mock humility, +'to have been accustomed to higher associations; but really, situated +as I am here, I could almost feel disposed to--why, positively, to +wish myself a cow, with clumsy legs and horny feet. What one may +live to come to, to be sure!' + +"Well," Aunt Judy proceeded, "will you believe it, the lob-worm went +on boasting till the poor deluded 'SOMETHING' believed every word he +said, and at last ventured to ask in what favoured spot he had +acquired his superior tastes and knowledge. + +"And then, of course, the lob-worm had the opportunity of opening out +in a very magnificent bit of brag, and did not fail to do so. + +"Travellers can always boast with impunity to stationary folk, and +the lob-worm had no conscience about speaking the truth. + +So on he chattered, giving the most splendid account of the garden in +which he lived. Gorgeous flowers, velvet lawns, polished gravel- +walks, along which he was wont to take his early morning stroll, +before the ruder creatures of the neighbourhood, such as dogs, cats, +&c. were up and about, were all his discourse; and he spoke of them +as if they were his own, and told of the nursing and tending of every +plant in the lovely spot, as if the gardeners did it all for his +convenience and pleasure. + +"Of the little accidents to which he and his race have from time +immemorial been liable from awkward spades, or those very early +birds, by whom he ran a risk of being snapped up every time he +emerged out of the velvet lawns for the morning strolls, he said just +nothing at all. + +"All was unmixed delight (according to his account) in the garden, +and having actually boasted himself into good humour with himself, +and therefore with everybody else, he concluded by expressing the +condescending wish, that the 'SOMETHING' in the field should get +itself removed to the garden, to enjoy the life of which he spoke. + +"'Undeniably beautiful as you are here,' cried he, 'your beauty will +increase a thousand fold, under the gardener's fostering care. +Appreciated as you are now in your rustic life, the most prominent +place will be assigned to you when you get into more distinguished +society; so that everybody who passes by and sees you, will exclaim +in delight, 'Behold this exquisite--hm--!'" + +"Oh dear, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, "was the 'hum,' as you will call +it, so silly as to believe what he said?" + +"How could the poor simple-minded thing be expected to resist such +elegant compliments, my dear No. 6?" answered Aunt Judy. "But then +came the difficulty. The 'SOMETHING' which lived in the field had no +more legs than the lob-worm himself, and, in fact, was incapable of +locomotion." + +"Of course it was!" ejaculated No. 5. + +"Order!" cried Aunt Judy, and proceeded:- + +"So the--hm--hung down its graceful head in despair, but suddenly a +bright and loving thought struck it. It could not change its place +and rise in life itself, but its children might, and that would be +some consolation. It opened its heart on this point to the lob-worm, +and although the lob-worm had no heart to be touched, he had still a +tongue to talk. + +"If the--hm--would send its children to the garden at the first +opportunity, he would be delighted, absolutely charmed, to introduce +them in the world. He would put them in the way of everything, and +see that they were properly attended to. There was nothing he +couldn't or wouldn't do. + +"This last pretentious brag seemed to have exhausted even the lob- +worm's ingenuity, for, soon after he had uttered it, he shuffled away +out of the meadow in the best fashion that he could, leaving the +'SOMETHING' in the field in a state of wondering regret. But it +recovered its spirits again when the time came for sending its +children to the favoured garden abode. + +"'My dears,' it said, 'you will soon have to begin life for +yourselves, and I hope you will do so with credit to your bringing +up. I hope you are now ambitious enough to despise the dull old plan +of dropping contentedly down, just where you happen to be, or waiting +for some chance traveller (who may never come) to give you a lift +elsewhere. That paradise of happiness, of which the lob-worm told +us, is close at hand. Come! it only wants a little extra exertion on +your part, and you will be carried thither by the wind, as easily as +the wandering Dandelion himself. Courage, my dears! nothing out of +the common is ever gained without an effort. See now! as soon as +ever a strong breeze blows the proper way, I shall shake my heads as +hard as ever I can, that you may be off. All the doors and windows +are open now, you know, and you must throw yourselves out upon the +wind. Only remember one thing, when you are settled down in the +beautiful garden, mind you hold up your heads, and do yourselves +justice, my dears.' + +"The children gave a ready assent, of course, as proud as possible at +the notion; and when the favourable breeze came, and the maternal +heads were shaken, out they all flew, and trusted themselves to its +guidance, and in a few minutes settled down all over the beautiful +garden, some on the beds, some on the lawn, some on the polished +gravel-walks. And all I can say is, happiest those who were least +seen!" + +"Grass weeds! grass weeds!" shouted the incorrigible No. 5, jumping +up from his seat and performing two or three Dervish-like turns. + +"Oh, it's too bad, isn't it, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, "to stop your +story in the middle?" + +Whereupon Aunt Judy answered that he had not stopped the story in the +middle, but at the end, and she was glad he had found out the meaning +of her--HM--! + +But No. 6 would not be satisfied, she liked to hear the complete +finish up of everything. "Did the 'HUM'S' children ever grow up in +the garden, and did they ever see the lob-worm again?" + +"The--hm's--children did SPRING up in the garden," answered Aunt +Judy, "and did their best to exhibit their beauty on the polished +gravel-walks, where they were particularly delighted with their own +appearance one May morning after a shower of rain, which had made +them more prominent than usual. 'Remember our mother's advice,' +cried they to each other. 'This is the happy moment! Let us hold up +our heads, and do ourselves justice, my dears.' + +"Scarcely were the words spoken, when a troop of rude creatures came +scampering into the walk, and a particularly unfeeling monster in +curls, pointed to the beautiful up-standing little--hms--and shouted, +'Aunt Judy, look at these HORRIBLE WEEDS!' + +"I needn't say any more," concluded Aunt Judy. "You know how you've +used them; you know what you've done to them; you know how you've +even wished there were NO SUCH THINGS IN THE WORLD!" + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, how capital!" ejaculated No. 6, with a sigh, the sigh +of exhausted amusement. + +"'The HUM was a weed too, then, was it?" said No. 8. He did not +quite see his way through the tale. + +"It was not a weed in the meadow," answered Aunt Judy, "where it was +useful, and fed the Alderney cow. It was beautiful Grass there, and +was counted as such, because that was its proper place. But when it +put its nose into garden-walks, where it was not wanted, and had no +business, then everybody called the beautiful Grass a weed." + +"So a weed is a vegetable out of its place, you see," subjoined No. +5, who felt the idea to be half his own, "and it won't do to wish +there were none in the world." + +"And a vegetable out of its place being nothing better than a weed, +Mr. No. 5," added Aunt Judy, "it won't do to be too anxious about +what is so often falsely called, bettering your condition in life. +Come, the story is done, and now we'll go home, and all the patient +listeners and weeders may reckon upon getting one or more farthings +apiece from mamma. And as No. 6's wish is not realized, and there +are still weeds {1} in the world, and among them Grass weeds, _I_ +shall hope to have some cream to my tea." + + + +COOK STORIES. + + + +"Down too, down at your own fireside, +With the evil tongue and the evil ear, +For each is at war with mankind." +TENNYSON'S Maud. + +Aunt Judy had gone to the nursery wardrobe to look over some clothes, +and the little ones were having a play to themselves. As she opened +the door, they were just coming to the end of an explosive burst of +laughter, in which all the five appeared to have joined, and which +they had some difficulty in stopping. No. 4, who was a biggish girl, +had giggled till the tears were running over her cheeks; and No. 8, +in sympathy, was leaning back in his tiny chair in a sort of ecstasy +of amusement. + +The five little ones had certainly hit upon some very entertaining +game. + +They were all (boys and girls alike) dressed up as elderly ladies, +with bits of rubbishy finery on their heads and round their +shoulders, to imitate caps and scarfs; the boys' hair being neatly +parted and brushed down the middle; and they were seated in form +round what was called "the Doll's Table," a concern just large enough +to allow of a small crockery tea-service, with cups and saucers and +little plates, being set out upon it. + +"What have you got there?" was all Aunt Judy asked, as she went up to +the table to look at them. + +"Cowslip-tea," was No. 4's answer, laying her hand on the fat pink +tea-pot; and thereupon the laughing explosion went off nearly as +loudly as before, though for no accountable reason that Aunt Judy +could divine. + +"It's SO good, Aunt Judy, do taste it!" exclaimed No. 8, jumping up +in a great fuss, and holding up his little cup, full of a pale-buff +fluid, to Aunt Judy. + +"You'll have everything over," cried No. 4, calling him to order; and +in truth the table was not the steadiest in the world. + +So No. 8 sat down again, calling out, in an almost stuttering hurry, +"You may keep it all, Aunt Judy, I don't want any more." + +But neither did Aunt Judy, after she had given it one taste; so she +put the cup down, thanking No. 8 very much, but pulling such a funny +face, that it set the laugh going once more; in the middle of which +No. 4 dropped an additional lump of sugar into the rejected buff- +coloured mixture, a proceeding which evidently gave No. 8 a new +relish for the beverage. + +Aunt Judy had got beyond the age when cowslip-tea was looked upon as +one of the treats of life; and she had not, on the other hand, lived +long enough to love the taste of it for the memory's sake of the +enjoyment it once afforded. + +Not but what we are obliged to admit that cowslip-tea is one of those +things which, even in the most enthusiastic days of youth, just falls +short of the absolute perfection one expects from it. + +Even under those most favourable circumstances of having had the +delightful gathering of the flowers in the sweet sunny fields--the +picking of them in the happy holiday afternoon--the permission to use +the best doll's tea-service for the feast--the loan of a nice white +table-cloth--and the present of half-a-dozen pewter knives and forks +to fancy-cut the biscuits with--nay, even in spite of the addition of +well-filled doll's sugar-pots and cream-jugs--cowslip-tea always +seems to want either a leetle more or a leetle less sugar--or a +leetle more or a leetle less cream--or to be a leetle more or a +leetle less strong--to turn it into that complete nectar which, of +course, it really IS. + +On the present occasion, however, the children had clearly got hold +of some other source of enjoyment over the annual cowslip-tea feast, +besides the beverage itself; and Aunt Judy, glad to see them so +safely happy, went off to her business at the wardrobe, while the +little ones resumed their game. + +"Very extraordinary, indeed, ma'am!" began one of the fancy old +ladies, in a completely fancy voice, a little affected, or so. "MOST +extraordinary, ma'am, I may say!" + +(Here there was a renewed giggle from No. 4, which she carefully +smothered in her handkerchief.) + +"But still I think I can tell you of something more extraordinary +still!" + +The speaker having at this point refreshed his ideas by a sip of the +pale-coloured tea, and the other ladies having laughed heartily in +anticipation of the fun that was coming, one of them observed:- + +"You don't SAY so, ma'am--" then clicked astonishment with her tongue +against the roof of her mouth several times, and added impressively, +"PRAY let us hear!" + +"I shall be most happy, ma'am," resumed the first speaker, with a +graceful inclination forwards. "Well!--you see--it was a party. I +had invited some of my most distinguished friends--really, ma'am, +FASHIONABLE friends, I may say, to dinner; and, ahem! you see--some +little anxiety always attends such affairs--even--in the best +regulated families!" + +Here the speaker winked considerably at No. 4, and laughed very +loudly himself at his own joke. + +"Dear me, you must excuse me, ma'am," he proceeded. "So, you see, I +felt a little fatigued by my morning's exertions, (to tell you the +truth, there had been no end of bother about everything!) and I +retired quietly up-stairs to take a short nap before the dressing- +bell rang. But I had not been laid down quite half an hour, when +there was a loud knock at the door. Really, ma'am, I felt quite +alarmed, but was just able to ask, 'Who's there?' Before I had time +to get an answer, however, the door was burst open by the housemaid. +Her face was absolute scarlet, and she sobbed out:- + +"'Oh, ma'am, what shall we do?' + +"'Good gracious, Hannah,' cried I, 'what can be the matter? Has the +soot come down the chimney? Speak!' + +"'It's nothing of that sort, ma'am,' answered Hannah, 'it's the +cook!' + +"'The cook!' I shouted. 'I wish you would not be so foolish, Hannah, +but speak out at once. What about Cook?' + +"'Please, m'm, the cook's lost!' says Hannah. 'We can't find her!' + +"'Your wits are lost, Hannah, _I_ think,' cried I, and sent her to +tidy the rooms while I slipt downstairs to look for the cook. + +"Fancy a lost cook, ma'am! Was there ever such a ridiculous idea? +And on the day of a dinner-party too! Did you ever hear of such a +trial to a lady's feelings before?" + +"Never, I am sure," responded the lady opposite. "Did YOU, ma'am?" +turning to her neighbour. + +But the other three ladies all shook their heads, bit their lips, and +declared that they "Never had, they were sure!" + +"I thought not!" ejaculated the narrator. "Well, ma'am, I went into +the kitchens, the larder, the pantries, the cellars, and all sorts of +places, and still no cook! Do you know, she really was nowhere! +Actually, ma'am, the cook was lost!" + +Shouts of laughter burst forth here; but the lady (who was No. 5) put +up his hand, and called out in his own natural tones:- + +"Stop! I haven't got to the end yet!" + +"Order!" proclaimed No. 4 immediately, in a very commanding voice, +and thumping the table with the head of an old wooden doll to enforce +obedience. + +And then the sham lady proceeded in the same mincing voice as +before:- + +"Well!--dear me, I'm quite put out. But however, you see--what was +to be done, that was the thing. It wanted only half an hour to +dinner-time, and there was the meat roasting away by itself, and the +potatoe-pan boiling over. You never heard such a fizzling as it made +in your life--in short, everything was in a mess, and there was no +cook. + +"Well! I basted the meat for a few minutes, took the potatoe-pan off +the fire, and then ran up-stairs to put on my bonnet. Thought I, the +best thing I can do is to send somebody for the policeman, and let +HIM find the cook. But while I was tying the strings of my bonnet, I +fancied I heard a mysterious noise coming out of the bottom drawer of +my wardrobe. Fancy that, ma'am, with my nerves in such a state from +the cook being lost!" + +No. 5 paused, and looked round for sympathy, which was most freely +given by the other ladies, in the shape of sighs and exclamations. + +"The drawer was a very deep drawer, ma'am, so I thought perhaps the +cat had crept in," continued No. 5. "Well, I went to it to see, and +there it was, partly open, with a cotton gown in it that didn't +belong to me. Imagine my feelings at THAT, ma'am! So I pulled at +the handles to get the drawer quite open, but it wouldn't come, it +was as heavy as lead. It was really very alarming--one doesn't like +such odd things happening--but at last I got it open, though I +tumbled backwards as I did so; and what do you think, ma'am--ladies-- +what DO you think was in it?" + +"The cook!" shrieked No. 4, convulsed with laughter; and the whole +party clapped their hands and roared applause. + +"The cook, ma'am, actually the cook!" pursued No. 5, "one of the +fattest, most POONCHY little women you ever saw. And what do you +think was the history of it? I kept my up-stairs Pickwick in the +corner of that bottom drawer. She had seen it there that very +morning, when she was helping to dust the room, and took the +opportunity of a spare half-hour to slip up and rest herself by +reading it in the drawer. Unluckily, however, she had fallen asleep, +and when I got the drawer out, there she lay, and I actually heard +her snore. A shocking thing this education, ma'am, you see, and +teaching people to read. All the cooks in the country are spoilt!" + +Peals of laughter greeted this wonderfully witty concoction of No. +5's, and the lemon-coloured tea and biscuits were partaken of during +the pause which followed. + +Aunt Judy meanwhile, who had been quite unable to resist joining in +the laugh herself, was seated on the floor, behind the open door of +the wardrobe, thinking to herself of certain passages in Wordsworth's +most beautiful ode, in which he has described the play of children, + + +"As if their whole vocation +Were endless imitation." + + +Truly they had got hold here of strange + + +"Fragments from their dream of human life." + + +Where COULD the children have picked up the original of such absurd +nonsense? + +Aunt Judy had no time to make it out, for now the mincing voices +began again, and she sat listening. + +"Have YOU had no curious adventures with your maids, ma'am?" inquires +No. 5 of No. 4. + +No. 5 makes an attempt at a bewitching grin as he speaks, fanning +himself with a fan which he has had in his hand all the time he was +telling his story. + +"Well, ladies," replied No. 4, only just able to compose herself to +talk, "I don't think I HAVE been quite as fortunate as yourselves in +having so many extraordinary things to tell. My servants have been +sadly common-place, and done just as they ought. But still, ONCE, +ladies--once, a curious little incident did occur to me." + +"Oh, ma'am, I entreat you--pray let us hear it!" burst from all the +ladies at once. + +No. 4 had to bite her lip to preserve her gravity, and then she +turned to No. 5 - + +"The fan, if you please, ma'am!" + +The rule was, that the one fan was placed at the disposal of the +story-teller for the time, so No. 5 handed it to No. 4, with a +graceful bow; and No. 4 waffed it to and fro immediately, and began +her account:- + +"People are so unscrupulous you see, ladies, about giving characters. +It's really shocking. For my part, I don't know what the world will +come to at last. We shall all have to be our own servants, I +suppose. People say anything about anything, that's the fact! Only +fancy, ma'am, three different ladies once recommended a cook to me as +the best soup-maker in the country. Now that sounded a very high +recommendation, for, of course, if a cook can make soups, she can do +anything--sweetmeats and those kind of things follow of themselves. +So, ma am, I took her, and had a dinner-party, and ordered two soups, +entirely that I might show off what a good cook I had got. Think +what a compliment to her, and how much obliged she ought to have +been! Well, ma'am, I ordered the two soups, as I said, one white, +and the other brown; and everything appeared to be going on in the +best possible manner, when, as I was sitting in the drawing-room +entertaining the company, I was told I was wanted. + +"When I got out of the room, there was the man I had hired to wait, +and says he:- + +"'If you please, ma'am where are the knives? I can't find any at +all!' + +"'No knives!' says I. 'Dear me, don't come to me about the knives. +Ask the cook, of course.' + +"'Please, ma'am, I have asked her, and she only laughed.' + +"'Then,' said I, 'ask the housemaid. It's impossible for me to come +out and look for the knives.' + +"Well, ladies," continued No. 4, "would you believe it?--could anyone +believe it?--when I sat down to dinner, and began to help the soup, +no sooner had the silver ladle (MY ladle is silver, ladies) been +plunged into the tureen, than a most singular rattling was heard. + +"'William,' cried I, half in a whisper, to the waiter who was holding +the plate, 'what in the world is this? Surely Cook has not left the +bones in?' + +"'Please, ma'am, I don't know,' was all the man could say. + +"Well--there was no remedy now, so I dipped the ladle in again, and +lifted out--oh! ma'am, I know if it was anybody but myself who told +you, you wouldn't believe it--a ladleful of the lost knives! There +they were, my best beautiful ivory handles, all in the white soup! +And while I was discovering them, the gentleman at the other end of +the table had found all the kitchen-knives, with black handles, in +the brown soup! + +"There never was anything so mortifying before. And what do you +think was Cook's excuse, when I reproached her? + +"'Please, ma'am,' said she, 'I read in the Young Woman's Vademecum of +Instructive Information, page 150, that there was nothing in the +world so strengthening and wholesome as dissolved bones, and ivory- +dust; and so, ma'am, I always make a point of throwing in a few +knives into every soup I have the charge of, for the sake of the +handles--ivory-handles for white soups, ma'am, and black-handles for +the browns!'" + +Thunders of applause interrupted Cook's excuse at this point, and No. +7 was so overcome that he pushed his chair back, and performed three +distinct somersets on the floor, to the complete disorganization of +his head-dress, which consisted of a turban, from beneath which hung +a cluster of false curls. + +Turban and wig being replaced, however, and No. 7 reseated and +composed, No. 4 proceeded:- + +"Cook generally takes them out, she informed me, ladies, before the +tureens come to table; 'but,' said she, 'my back was turned for a +minute here, ma'am, and that stupid William carried them off without +asking if they were ready. It's all William's fault, ma'am; and I +don't mean to stay, for I don't like a place where the man who waits +has no tact!' + +"Now, ladies," continued No. 4, "what do you think of that by way of +a speech from a cook? And I assure you that a medical man's wife, to +whom I mentioned in the course of the evening what Cook had said +about dissolved bones, told me that her husband had only laughed, and +said Cook was quite right. So she hired the woman that night +herself, and I have been told in confidence since--you'll not repeat +it, therefore, of course, ladies?" + +"Of course not!" came from all sides. + +"Well, then, I was told that, before the year was out, the family +hadn't a knife that would cut anything, they were so cankered with +rust. So much for education and learning to read, as you justly +observed, ma'am, before!" + +When the emotions produced by this tale had a little subsided, No. 7 +was called upon for his experience of maids. + +No. 7, with the turban on his head, and a fine red necklace round his +throat, said he took very little notice of the maids, but that he +once had had a very tiresome little boy in buttons, who was extremely +fond of sugar, and always carried the sugar-shaker in his pocket, and +ate up the sugar that was in it, and when it was empty, filled it up +with magnesia. + +"But ONCE," he added, "ladies, he actually put some soda in. It was +at a party, and we had our first rhubarb tart for the season, and the +company sprinkled it all over with the soda and began to eat, but +they were too polite to say how nasty it was. But, of course, when I +was helped I called out. And what do you think the boy in buttons +said?" + +Nobody could guess, so No. 7 had to tell them. + +"He said he had put it in on purpose, because he thought it would +correct the acid of the pie. So I said he had best be apprenticed to +a doctor; so he went--I dare say, ma'am, it was the same doctor who +took your cook--but I never heard of him any more, and I've never +dared to have a boy in buttons again." + +"A very wise decision, ma'am, I'm sure!" cried Aunt Judy, who came up +to the wonderful tea-table in the midst of the last mound of +applause. "And now may I ask what game this is that you are playing +at?" + +"Oh, we're telling Cook Stories, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, seizing her +by the arm; "they're such capital fun! I wish you had heard mine; +they were laughing at it when you first came in!" + +"It must have been delicious, to judge by the delight it gave," +replied Aunt Judy, smiling, and kissing No. 6's oddly bedizened up- +turned face. "But what I want to know is, what put Cook Stories, as +you call them, into your head?" + +"Oh! don't you remember--" and here followed a long account from No. +6 of how, about a week before, the little ones had gone somewhere to +spend the day, and how it had turned out a very rainy day, so that +they could not have games out of doors with their young friends, as +had been expected, but were obliged to sit a great part of the time +in the drawing-room, putting Chinese puzzles together into stupid +patterns, and playing at fox-and-goose, while the ladies were talking +"grown-up conversation," as No. 6 worded it, among themselves; and, +of course, being on their own good behaviour, and very quiet, they +could not help hearing what was said. "And, oh dear, Aunt Judy," +continued No. 6, now with both her arms holding Aunt Judy, of whom +she was very fond, (except at lesson times!) round the waist, "it was +so odd! No. 7 and I did nothing at last but listen and watch them; +for little Miss, who sat with us, was shy, and wouldn't talk, and it +was so very funny to see the ladies nodding and making faces at each +other, and whispering, and exclaiming, how shocking! how abominable! +you don't say so! and all that kind of thing!" + +"Well, but what was shocking, and abominable, and all that kind of +thing?" inquired Aunt Judy. + +"Oh, I don't know--things the nurses, and cooks, and boys in buttons +did. Almost all the ladies had some story to tell--all the servants +had done something or other queer--but especially the cooks, Aunt +Judy, there was no end to the cooks. So one day after we came back, +and we didn't know what to play at, I said: 'Do let us play at +telling Cook Stories, like the ladies at -- .' So we've dressed up, +and played at Cook Stories, ever since. Dear Aunt Judy, I wish you +would invent a Cook Story yourself!" was the conclusion of No. 6's +account. + +So then the mystery was out. Aunt Judy's wonderings were cut short. +Out of the real life of civilized intelligent society had come those + + +"Fragments from their dream of human life," + + +which Aunt Judy had called absurd nonsense. And absurd nonsense, +indeed, it was; but Aunt Judy was seized by the idea that some good +might be got out of it. + +So, in answer to No. 6's wish, she said, with a shy smile:- + +"I don't think I could tell Cook Stories half as well as yourself. +But if, by way of a change, you would like a Lady Story instead, +perhaps I might be able to accomplish that." + +"A LADY Story! Oh, but that would be so dull, wouldn't it?" inquired +No. 6. "You can't make anything funny out of them, surely! Surely +they never do half such odd things as cooks, and boys in buttons!" + +"The ladies themselves think not, of course," was Aunt Judy's reply. + +"Well, but what do you think, Aunt Judy?" + +"Oh, I don't think it matters what I think. The question is, what do +cooks and boys in buttons think?" + +"But, Aunt Judy, ladies are never tiresome, and idle, and +impertinent, like cooks and boys in buttons. Oh! if you had but +heard the REAL Cook Stories those ladies told! I say, let me tell +you one or two--I do think I can remember them, if I try." + +"Then don't try on any account, dear No. 6," exclaimed Aunt Judy. "I +like make-believe Cook Stories much better than real ones." + +"So do I!" cried No. 7, "they're so much the more entertaining." + +"And not a bit less useful," subjoined Aunt Judy, with a sly smile. + +"Well, I didn't see much good in the real ones," pursued No. 7, in a +sort of muse. + +"Let us tell you another make-believe one, then," cried No. 6, who +saw that Aunt Judy was moving off, and wanted to detain her. + +"Then it's MY turn!" shouted No. 8, jumping up, and stretching out +his arm and hand like a young orator flushed to his work. And +actually, before the rest of the little ones could put him down or +stop him, No. 8 contrived to tumble out the Cook Story idea, which +had probably been brewing in his head all the time of Aunt Judy's +talk. + +It was very brief, and this was it, delivered in much haste, and with +all the earnestness of a maiden speech. + +"_I_ had a button boy too, and he was a--what d'ye call it--oh, a +RASCAL, that was it;--he was a rascal, and liked the currants in +mince-pies, so he took them all out, and ate them up, and put in +glass beads instead. So when the people began to ear, their teeth +crunched against the beads! Ah! bah! how nasty it was!" + +No. 8 accompanied this remark with a corresponding grimace of +disgust, and then observed in conclusion:- + +"Perhaps he found it in a book, but I don't know where," after which +he lowered his outstretched arm, smiled, and sat down. + +The company clapped applause, and No. 4 especially must have been +very fond of laughing, for the glass-bead anecdote set her off again +as heartily as ever, and the rest followed in her wake, and while so +doing, never noticed that Aunt Judy had slipped away. + +They soon discovered it, however, when their mirth began to subside; +but before they had time to wonder much, there appeared from behind +the door of the wardrobe a figure, which in their secret souls they +knew to be Aunt Judy herself, although it looked a great deal +stouter, and had a thick-filled cap on its head, a white linen apron +over its gown, and a pair of spectacles on its nose. At sight of it +they showed signs of clapping again, but stopped short when it spoke +to them as a stranger, and willingly received it as such. + +Ah! it is one of the sweet features of childhood that it yields +itself up so readily to any little surprise or delusion that is +prepared for its amusement. No nasty pride, no disinclination to be +carried away, no affected indifference, interfere with young +children's enjoyment of what is offered them. They will even help +themselves into the pleasant visions by an effort of will; and +perhaps, now and then, end by partly believing what they at first +received voluntarily as an agreeable make-believe. + +If, therefore, after the cook figure of Aunt Judy had seated itself +by the doll's table, and the little ones had looked and grinned at it +for some time, hazy sensations began to steal over one or two minds, +that this WAS somehow really a cook, it was all in the natural course +of things, and nobody resisted the feeling. + +Aunt Judy's altered voice, and odd, assumed manner, contributed, no +doubt, a good deal to the impression. + +"Dear, dear! what pretty little darlings you all are!" she began, +looking at them one after another. "As sweet as sugar-plums, when +you have your own way, and are pleased. Eh, dears? But you don't +think you can take old Cooky in, do you? No, no, I know what ladies +and gentlemen, and ladies' and gentlemen's YOUNG ladies and YOUNG +gentlemen are, pretty well, dears, I can tell you! Don't I know all +about the shiny hair and smiling faces of the little pets in the +parlour, and how they leave parlour-manners behind them sometimes, +when they run to the kitchen to Cook, and order her here and there, +and want half-a-dozen things at once, and must and will have what +they want, and are for popping their fingers into every pie! + +"Well, well," she proceeded, "the parlour's the parlour, and the +kitchen's the kitchen, and I'm only a cook. But then I conduct +myself AS Cook, even when I'm in the scullery, and I only wish +ladies, and ladies' YOUNG ladies too, would conduct themselves as +ladies, even when they come into the kitchen; that's what I call +being honourable and upright. Well, dears, I'll tell you how I came +to know all about it. You see, I lived once in a family where there +were no less than eight of those precious little pets, and a precious +time I had of it with them. But, to be sure, now it's past and gone- +-I can make plenty of excuses for them, poor things! They were so +coaxed and flattered, and made so much of, what could be expected +from them but tiresome, wilful ways, without any sense? + +"'If your mamma would but put YOU into the scullery, young miss, to +learn to wash plates and scour the pans out, she'd make a woman of +you,' used I to think to myself when a silly child, who thought +itself very clever to hinder other people's work, would come hanging +about in the kitchen, doing nothing but teaze and find fault, for +that's what a girl can always do. + +"It was very aggravating, you may be sure, dears, (you see I can talk +to you quite reasonably, because you're so nicely behaved;)--it was +very aggravating, of course; but I used to make allowances for them. +Says I to myself, 'Cook, you've had the blessing of being brought up +to hard work ever since you were a babby. You've had to earn your +daily bread. Nobody knows how that brings people to their senses +till they've tried; so don't you go and be cocky, because ladies and +gentlemen, and ladies' and gentlemen's YOUNG ladies and YOUNG +gentlemen, are not quite so sensible as you are. Who knows but what, +if you'd been born to do nothing, you might have been no wiser than +them! It's lucky for you you're only a cook; but don't you go and be +cocky, that's all! Make allowances; it's the secret of life!' + +"So you see, dears, I DID make allowances; and after the eight little +pets was safe in bed till next morning, I used to feel quite +composed, and pitiful-like towards them, poor little dears! But +certainly, when morning came, and the oldest young master was home +for the holidays, it was a trying time for me, and I couldn't think +of the allowances any longer. Either he wouldn't get up and come +down till everyone else had had their breakfast, and so he wanted +fresh water boiled, and fresh tea made, and another muffin toasted, +and more bacon fried; or else he was up so outrageous early, that he +was scolding because there was no hot water before the fire was lit-- +bless you, he hadn't a bit of sense in his head, poor boy, not a bit! +And how should he? Why, he went to school as soon as he was out of +petticoats, and was set to all that Latin and Greek stuff that never +puts anything useful into folks' heads, but so much more chatter and +talk; so he came back as silly as he went, poor thing! Dear me, on a +wet day, after lesson-time, those boys were like so many crazy +creatures. 'Cook, I must make a pie,' says one. 'There's a pie in +the oven already, Master James,' says I. 'I don't care about the pie +in the oven,' says he, 'I want a pie of my own. Bring me the flour, +and the water, and the butter, and all the things--and, above all, +the rolling-pin--and clear the decks, will you, I say, for my pie. +Here goes!' And here used to go, my dears, for Master James had no +sense, as I told you; and so he'd shove all my pots and dishes away, +one on the top of the other; and let me be as busy as I would, and +dinner ever so near ready, the dresser must be cleared, and +everything must give way to HIS pie! His pie, indeed--I wish I had +had the management of his pie just then! I'd have taught him what it +was to come shaking the rolling-pin at the head of a respectable +cook, who wanted to get her business done properly, as in duty bound! + +"But he wasn't the only one. There was little Whipper-snapper, his +younger brother, squeaking out in another corner, 'I shan't make a +pie, James, I shall make toffey; it's far better fun. You'd better +come and help me. Where's the treacle pot, Cook? Cook! I say, +Cook! where's the treacle-pot? And look at this stupid kettle and +pan. What's in the pan, I wonder? Oh, kidney-beans! Who cares for +kidney-beans? How can I make toffey, when all these things are on +the fire? Stay, I'll hand them all off!' + +"And, sure enough, if I hadn't rushed from Master James, who was +drinking away at my custard out of the bowl, to seize on Whipper- +snapper, who had got his hand on the vegetable-pan already, he would +have pulled it and the kettle, and the whole concern, off the fire, +and perhaps scalded himself to death. + +"Then, of course, there comes a scuffle, and Master Whipper-snapper +begins to roar, and out comes Missus, who, poor thing, had no more +sense in her head than her sons, though she'd never been to school to +lose it over Latin and Greek; and, says she, with all her ribbons +streaming, and her petticoats swelled out like a window-curtain in a +draught--says she:- + +"'Cook! I desire that you will not touch my children!' + +"'As you please, ma'am,' says I, 'if you'll be so good as to stop the +young gentlemen from touching my pans, and--' I was going to say +'custard,' but Master James shouts out quite quick:- + +"'Why, I only wanted to make a pie, mamma.' + +"'And I only wanted to make some toffey!' cries Whipper-snapper; and +then mamma answers, like a duchess at court:- + +"'There can't possibly be any objection, my dears; and I wish, Cook, +you would he a little more good-natured to the children;--your temper +is sadly against you!' + +"And out she sails, ribbons and window-curtains and all; and, says I +to myself, as I cooled down, (for the young gentlemen luckily went +away with their dear mama,)--says I to myself, 'It's a very fine +thing, no doubt, to go about in ribbons, and petticoats, and grand +clothes; but, if one must needs carry such a poor, silly head inside +them, as Missus does, I'd rather stop as I am, and be a cook with +some sense about me.' + +"I don't say, my dears," continued the supposed cook, "that I spoke +very politely just then; but who could feel polite, when their dinner +had been put back at least half-an-hour over such nonsense as that? +Missus used to say the 'dear boys' came to the kitchen on a wet day, +because they'd got NOTHING ELSE TO DO! Nothing else to do! and had +learnt Latin and Greek, and all sorts of schooling besides! So much +for education, thought I. Why, it would spoil the best lads that +ever were born into the world. For, of course, you know if these +young gentlemen had been put to decent trades, they'd have found +something else to do with their fingers besides mischief and waste. +And, dear me, I talk about not having been polite to Missus just +then, but now you tell me, dears, what Missus, with all her +education, would have said if she'd been in my place, when one young +gentleman was drinking her custard, and another young gentleman was +pulling her pans on the floor! Do you think she'd have been a bit +more polite than I was? Wouldn't she have called me all the stupid +creatures that ever were born, and told the story over and over to +all her friends and acquaintance to make them stare, and say there +were surely no such simpletons in the world as ladies and gentlemen, +and ladies' and gentlemen's young ladies and young gentlemen? + +"However, I did not go as far as that, because, you see, I had some +sense about me, and could make allowances for all the nonsense the +poor things are brought up to." + +There was no resisting the twinkle in Aunt Judy's eye when she came +to this point, though it shone through an old pair of Nurse's +spectacles; and the little ones clapped their hands, and declared it +was every bit as good as a Cook story, ONLY A GREAT DEAL BETTER! +That twinkle had quite brought Aunt Judy back to them again, in spite +of her cook's attire, and No. 6 cried out:- + +"Oh! don't stop, Aunt Judy! Do go on, Cooky dear! do tell some more! +Did you always live in that place, please?" + +"There now!" exclaimed Aunt Judy, throwing herself back in the chair, +"isn't that a regular young lady's question, out and out? Who but a +young lady, with no more sense in her head than a pin, would have +thought of asking such a thing? Why, miss, is there a joint in the +world that can bear basting for ever? No, no! a time comes when it +must be taken down, if any good's to be left in it; and so at the end +of three years my basting-time was over, and the time for taking down +was come. + +"'Cook,' says I to myself, 'you must give in. If you go on with +those cherubs (that was their company name, you know) much longer, +there won't be a bit of you left!' And, sure enough, that very +morning, dears, they'd come down upon me with a fresh grievance, and +I couldn't stand it, I really couldn't! The sweeps had been by four +o'clock to the kitchen chimney, and I'd been up and toiling every +minute since, and hadn't had time to eat my breakfast, when in they +burst--the young ladies, not the sweeps, dears, I mean:- and there +they broke out at once--I hadn't fed their sea-gulls before +breakfast--(a couple of dull-looking grey birds, with big mouths, +that had come in a hamper over night as a present to the cherubs;) +and it seems I ought to have been up before daylight almost, to look +for slugs for them in the garden till they'd got used to the place! + +"Oh, these ladies and gentlemen! they'd need know something of some +sort to make amends, for there are many things they never know all +their life long! + +"'Young ladies,' says I, 'I didn't come here to get meals ready for +sea-gulls, but Christian ladies and gentlemen. If the sea-gulls want +a cook, your mamma must hire them one on purpose. I've plenty to do +for her and the family, without looking after such nonsense as that!' + +"'That's what you always say,' whimpers the youngest Miss; 'and you +know they don't want any cooking, but only raw slugs! And you know +you might easily look for them, because you've got almost nothing to +do, because it's such an easy place, mamma always says. But you're +always cross, mamma says that too, and everybody knows you are, +because she tells everybody!' + +"When little Miss had got that out, she thought she'd finished me up; +and so she had, for when I heard that Missus was so ungenteel as to +go talking of what I did, to all her acquaintance, and had nothing +better to talk about, I made up my mind that I'd give notice that +very day. + +"'Very well, miss,' says I, 'your mamma shall soon have something +fresh to talk about, and I hope she'll find it a pleasant change.' + +"There was some of them knew what I meant at once, for after they'd +scampered off I heard shouts up and down the stairs from one to the +other, 'Cook's going!' 'We shall have a new cook soon!' 'What a +lark we'll have with the toffey and the pies! We'll make her do just +as we choose!' + +"'There, now,' thought I to myself, 'there'll be somebody else put +down to baste before long. Well, I'm glad my time's over.' And +thereupon I fell to wishing I was back again in father and mother's +ricketty old cottage, that I'd once been so proud to leave, to go and +live with gentlefolks. But, you see, it was no use wishing, for I'd +my bread to earn, and must turn out somewhere, let it be as +disagreeable as it would. Father and mother were dead, and there was +no ricketty cottage for me to go back to, so I wiped my eyes, and +told myself to make the best of what had to be. + +"Well, dears," pursued Cooky, after a short pause, during which the +little ones looked far more inclined to cry than laugh, "Missus was +quite taken aback when she heard I wouldn't stay any longer. + +"'Cook,' she said, 'I'm perfectly astonished at your want of sense in +not recognizing the value of such a situation as mine! and as to your +complaints about the children, anything more ridiculously +unreasonable I never heard! Such superior, well-taught young people, +you are not very likely to meet with again in a hurry!' + +"'Perhaps not, ma'am,' says I, 'in French, and crochet, and the +piano, and Latin, and things I don't understand, being only a cook. +But I know what behaviour is, and that's what I'm sure the young +ladies and gentlemen have never been taught; or if they have, they're +so slow at taking it in, that I think I shall do better with a family +where the behaviour-lessons come first!' + +"Missus was very angry, and so was I; but at last she said:- + +"'Cook, I shall not argue with you any longer; you know no better, +and I suppose I must make allowances for you.' + +"'I'm much obliged to you, ma'am, I'm sure,' was my answer; 'it's +what I've always done by you ever since I came to the house, and I'll +do it still with pleasure, and think no more of what's been said.' + +"I spoke from my heart, I can tell you, dears, for I felt very sorry +for Missus, and thought she was but a lady after all, and perhaps I'd +hardly made allowances enough. I'd lost my temper, too, as I knew +after she went away. But, you see, while she was there, it was so +mortifying to be spoken to as if all the sense was on her side, when +I knew it was all on mine, wherever the French and crochet may have +been. Well, but the day before I left, I broke down with another of +them, as it's fair that you should know. + +"I'd felt very lonely that day, busy as I was, and in the afternoon I +took myself into the scullery to give the pans a sort of good-bye +cleaning, and be out of everybody's way. But there, in the midst of +it, comes the eldest young gentleman flinging into the kitchen, +shouting, 'Cook! Cook! Where's Cook?' as usual. I thought he was +after some of his old tricks, and I HAD been fretting over those +pans, thinking what a sad job it was to have no home to go to in the +world, so I gave him a very short answer. + +"'Master James,' says I, 'I've done with nonsense now, I can't attend +to you. You must wait till the next cook comes.' + +"But Master James came straight away to the scullery door, and says +he, 'Cook, I'm not coming to teaze. I've brought you a needle-book. +There, Cook! It's full of needles. I put them all in myself. Keep +it, please.' + +"Dear, dear, I can't forget it yet," pursued Cook, "how Master James +stood on the little stone step of the scullery, with his arm +stretched out, and the needle-book that he'd bought for me in his +hand. I don't know how I thanked him, I'm sure; but I had to go back +to the sink and wash the dirt off my hands before I could touch the +pretty little thing, and then I told him I would keep it as long as +ever I lived. + +"He laughed, and says he, 'Now shake hands, Cooky,' and so we shook +hands; and then off he ran, and I went back to my pans and fairly +cried. + +"'Why, Cook,' says I to myself, 'that lad's got as good a heart as +your own, after all. And as to sense and behaviour, they haven't +been forced upon him yet, as they have upon you. Latin's Latin, and +conduct's conduct, and one doesn't teach the other; and it's too bad +to expect more of people than what they've had opportunity for.' + +Well, dears, that was the rule I always went by, and I've been in +many situations since--with single ladies, and single gentlemen, and +large families, and all; and there was something to put up with in +all of them; and they always told me there was a good deal to put up +with in me, and perhaps there was. However, it doesn't matter, so +long as Missus and servant go by one rule--TO MAKE ALLOWANCES, AND +NOT EXPECT MORE FROM PEOPLE THAN WHAT THEY'VE HAD OPPORTUNITY FOR; +and, above all, never to be cocky when all the advantage is on their +own side. It's a good rule, dears, and will stop many a foolish word +and idle tale, if you'll go by it." + +Aunt Judy had finished at last, and she took off the old spectacles +and laid them on the doll's table, and paused. + +"It IS a good rule," observed No. 4, "and I shall go by it, and not +tell real Cook Stories when I grow up, I hope." + +"I love old Cooky," cried No. 6, getting up and hugging her round the +neck; "but is it wrong, Aunt Judy, to tell funny make-believe Cook +Stories, like ours?" + +"Not at all, No. 6," replied Aunt Judy. "My private belief is, that +if you tell funny make-believe Cook Stories while you're little, you +will be ashamed of telling stupid real ones when you're grown up." + + + +RABBITS' TAILS. + + + +"Death and its two-fold aspect! wintry--one, +Cold, sullen, blank, from hope and joy shut out; +The other, which the ray divine hath touch'd, +Replete with vivid promise, bright as spring." +WORDSWORTH. + +"Well then; but you must remember that I have been ill, and cannot be +expected to invent anything very entertaining." + +"Oh, we do remember, indeed, Aunt Judy; we have been so miserable," +was the answer; and the speaker added, shoving her little chair close +up to her sister's:- + +"I said if you were not to get better, I shouldn't want to get better +either." + +"Hush, hush, No. 6!" exclaimed Aunt Judy, quite startled by the +expression; "it was not right to say or think that." + +"I couldn't help it," persisted No. 6. "We couldn't do without you, +I'm sure." + +"We can do without anything which God chooses to take away," was Aunt +Judy's very serious answer. + +"But I didn't want to do without," murmured No. 6, with her eyes +fixed on the floor. + +"Dear No. 6, I know," replied Aunt Judy, kindly; "but that is just +what you must try not to feel." + +"I can't help feeling it," reiterated No. 6, still looking down. + +"You have not tried, or thought about it yet," suggested her sister; +"but do think. Think what poor ignorant infants we all are in the +hands of God, not knowing what is either good or bad for us; and then +you will see how glad and thankful you ought to be, to be chosen for +by somebody wiser than yourself. We must always be contented with +God's choice about whatever happens." + +No. 6 still looked down, as if she were studying the pattern of the +rug, but she saw nothing of it, for her eyes were swimming over with +the tears that had filled into them, and at last she said:- + +"I could, perhaps, about some things, but ONLY NOT THAT about you. +Aunt Judy, you know what I mean." + +Aunt Judy leant back in her chair. "ONLY NOT THAT." It was, as she +knew, the cry of the universal world, although it broke now from the +lips of a child. And it was painful, though touching, to feel +herself the treasure that could not be parted with. + +So there was a silence of some minutes, during which the hand of the +little sister lay in that of the elder one. + +But the latter soon roused up and spoke. + +"I'll tell you what, No. 6, there's nothing so foolish as talking of +how we shall feel, and what we shall do, if so-and-so happens. +Perhaps it never may happen, or, if it does, perhaps we may be helped +to bear it quite differently from what we have expected. So we won't +say anything more about it now." + +"I'm so glad!" exclaimed No. 6, completely reassured and made +comfortable by the cheerful tone of her sister's remark, though she +had but a very imperfect idea of the meaning of it, as she forthwith +proved by rambling off into a sort of self-defence and self- +justification. + +"And I'm not really a baby now, you know, Aunt Judy! And I do know a +great many things that are good and bad for us. I know that YOU are +good for us, even when you scold over sums." + +"That is a grand admission, I must own," replied Aunt Judy, smiling; +"I shall remind you of it some day." + +"Well, you may," cried No. 6, earnestly; and added, "you see I'm not +half as silly as you thought." + +Aunt Judy looked at her, wondering how she should get the child to +understand what was passing through her own mind; wondering, too +whether it was right to make the attempt; and she decided that on the +whole it was; so she answered:- + +"Ay, we grow wise enough among ourselves as we grow older, and get to +know a few more things. You are certainly a little wiser than a baby +in long petticoats, and I am a little wiser than you, and mamma wiser +than us both. But towards God we remain ignorant infants all our +lives. That was what I meant." + +"But surely, Aunt Judy," interrupted No. 6, "mamma and you know--" +There she stopped. + +"Nothing about God's dealings," pursued Aunt Judy, "but that they are +sure to be good for us, even when we like them least, and cannot +understand them at all. We know so little what we ought really to +like and dislike, dear No. 6, that we often fret and cry as foolishly +as the two children did, who, while they were in mourning for their +mother, broke their hearts over the loss of a set of rabbits' tails." + +No. 6 sprang up at the idea. She had never heard of those children +before. Who were they? Had Aunt Judy read of them in a book, or +were they real children? How could they have broken their hearts +about rabbits' tails? It must be a very curious story, and No. 6 +begged to hear it. + +Aunt Judy had, however, a little hesitation about the matter. There +was something sad about the story; and there was no exact teaching to +be got out of it, though certainly if it helped to shake No. 6's +faith in her own wisdom, a good effect would be produced by listening +to it. Also it was not a bad thing now and then to hear of other +people having to bear trials which have not fallen to our own lot. +It must surely have a tendency to soften the heart, and make us feel +more dependent upon the God who gives and takes away. On the whole, +therefore, she would tell the story, so she made No. 6 sit quietly +down again, and began as follows:- + +"There were once upon a time two little motherless girls." + +No. 6's excitement of expectation was hardly over, so she tightened +her hand over Aunt Judy's, and ejaculated:- + +"Poor little things!" + +"You may well say so," continued Aunt Judy. "It was just what +everybody said who saw them at the time. When they went about with +their widowed father in the country village where 'they lived, even +the poor women who stood at their cottage door-steads, would look +after them when they had passed, and say with a sigh:- + +"'Poor little things!' + +"When they went up to London in the winter to stay with their +grandmamma, and walked about in the Square in their little black +frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets, the ladies who saw them,--even +comparative strangers,--would turn round arid say:- + +"'Poor little things!' + +"If visitors came to call at the house, and the children were sent +for into the room, there was sure to be a whispered exclamation +directly among the grown-up people of, 'Poor little things!' But oh, +No. 6! the children themselves did not think about it at all. What +did they know,--poor little things,--of the real misfortune which had +befallen them! They were sorry, of course, at first, when they did +not see their mamma as usual, and when she did not come back to them +as soon as they expected. But some separation had taken place during +her illness; and sometimes before, she had been poorly and got well +again; and sometimes she had gone out visiting, and they had had to +do without her till she returned; and so, although the days and weeks +of her absence went on to months, still it was only the same thing +they had felt before, continued rather longer; and meantime the +little events of each day rose up to distract their attention. They +got up, and dined, and went to bed as usual. They were sometimes +merry, sometimes naughty, as usual. People made them nice presents, +or sent for them to pleasant treats, as usual--perhaps more than +usual; their father did all he could to supply the place of the lost +one, but never could name her name; and soon they forgot that they +had ever had a mamma at all. Soon? Ay, long before friends and +strangers lead left off saying 'Poor little things' at sight of them, +and long before the black frocks and crape-trimmed bonnets were laid +aside, which, indeed, they wore double the usual length of time." + +"And how old were they?" asked No. 6, in a whisper. + +"Four and five," replied Aunt Judy; "old enough to know what they +liked and disliked from hour to hour. Old enough to miss what had +pleased them, till something else pleased them as well. But not old +enough to look forward and know how much a mother is wanted in life; +and, therefore, what a terrible loss the loss of a mother is." + +"It's a very sad story I'm afraid," remarked No. 6. + +"Not altogether," said Aunt Judy, smiling, "as you shall hear. One +day the two little motherless girls went hand in hand across one of +the courts of the great Charity Institution in London, where their +grandmamma lived, into the old archway entrance, and there they stood +still, looking round them, as if waiting for something. The old +archway entrance opened into a square, and underneath its shelter +there was a bench on one side, and on the other the lodge of the +porter, whose business it was to shut up the great gates at night. + +The porter had often before looked at the motherless children as they +passed into the shadow of his archway, and said to himself, 'Poor +little things;' for just so, during many years of his life, he had +watched their young mother pass through, and had exchanged words of +friendly greeting with her. + +"And even now, although it was at least a year and a half since her +death, when he saw the waiting children seat themselves on the bench +opposite his door, the old thought stole over his mind. How sad that +she should have been taken away so early from those little ones! How +sad for them to be left! No one--nothing--in this world, could +supply the loss of her protecting care.--POOR LITTLE THINGS!--and not +the less so because they were altogether unconscious of their +misfortune; and here, with the mourning casting a gloom over their +fair young faces, were looking with the utmost eagerness and delight +towards the doorway,--now and then slipping down from their seats to +take a peep into the Square, and see if what they expected was +coming,--now and then giggling to each other about the grave face of +the old man on the other side of the way. + +"At last, one, who had been peeping a bit as before, exclaimed, with +a smothered shout, 'Here he is!' and then the other joined her, and +the two rushed out together into the Square and stood on the +pavement, stopping the way in front of a lad, who held over his arm a +basket containing hares' and rabbits' skins, in which he carried on a +small trade. + +"They looked up with their smiling faces into his, and he grinned at +them in return, and then they said, 'Have you got any for us to-day?' +on which he set down his basket before them, and told them they might +have one or two if they pleased, and down they knelt upon the +pavement, examining the contents of his basket, and talked in almost +breathless whispers to each other of the respective merits, the +softness, colour, and prettiness, of--what do you think?" + +At the first moment No. 6, being engrossed by the story, could not +guess at all; but in another instant she recollected, and exclaimed:- + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, do you mean those were the rabbits' tails you told +about?" + +"They were indeed, No. 6," replied Aunt Judy; "their grandmamma's +cook had given them one or two sometime before, and there being but +few entertaining games which two children can play at alone, and +these poor little things being a good deal left to themselves, they +invented a play of their own out of the rabbits' tails. I think the +pleasant feel of the fur, which was so nice to cuddle and kiss, +helped them to this odd liking; but whatever may have been the cause, +certain it is they did get quite fond of them--pretended that they +could feel, and were real living things, and talked of them, and to +them, as if they were a party of children. + +"They called them 'Tods' and 'Toddies,' but they had all sorts of +names besides, to distinguish one from the other. There was, +'Whity,' and 'Browny,' and 'Softy,' and 'Snuggy,' and 'Stripy,' and +many others. They knew almost every hair of each of them, and I +believe could have told which was which, in the dark, merely by their +feel. + +"This sounds ridiculous enough, does it not, dear No. 6?" said Aunt +Judy, interrupting herself. + +No. 6 smiled, but she was too much interested to wish to talk; so the +story proceeded. + +"Now you must know that I have looked rather curiously at hares' and +rabbits' tails myself since I first heard the story; and there +actually is more variety in them than you would suppose. Some are +nice little fat things--almost round, with the hair close and fine; +others longer and more skinny, and with poor hair, although what +there is may be of a handsome colour. And as to colour, even in +rabbits' tails, which are white underneath, there are all shades from +grey to dark brown one the upper side; and the patterns and markings +differ, as you know they do on the fur of a cat. In short, there +really is a choice even in hares' and rabbits' tails, and the more +you look at them, the more delicate distinctions you will see. + +"Well, the poor little girls knew all about this, and a great deal +more, I dare say, than I have noticed, for they had played at fancy- +life with them, till the Tods had become far more to them than any +toys they possessed; actually, in fact, things to love; and I dare +say if we could have watched them at night putting their Tods to bed, +we should have seen every one of them kissed. + +"It was a capital thing, as you may suppose, for keeping the children +quiet as well as happy in the nursery, at the top of the London +house, in one particular corner of which the basket of Tods was kept. +But when grandmamma's bell rang, which it did day by day as a +summons, after the parlour breakfast was over, the Tods were put +away; and it was dolls, or reasonable toys of some description, which +the motherless little girls took down with them to the drawing-room; +and I doubt whether either grandmamma or aunt knew of the Tod family +in the basket up-stairs. + +"After the affair had gone on for a little time, the children were +accidentally in the kitchen when the rabbit-skin dealer called, and +the cook begged him to give them a tail or two; and thenceforth, of +course, they looked upon him as one of their greatest friends; and if +they wanted fresh Tods, they would lie in wait for him in the archway +entrance, for fear he should go by without coming in to call at their +grandmamma's house. And on the day I have described, two new +brothers, 'Furry' and 'Buffy,' were introduced to the Tod +establishment, and the talking and delight that ensued, lasted for +the whole afternoon. + +"Nobody knew, I believe; but certainly if anybody had known how the +hearts of those children were getting involved over the dead rabbits' +tails, it would have been only right to have tried to lead their +affection into some better direction. What a waste of good emotions +it was, when they cuddled up their Tods in an evening; invented +histories of what they had said and done during the day, and put them +by at last with caresses something very nearly akin to human love!" + +"Oh, dear Aunt Judy," exclaimed No. 6, "if their poor mamma had but +been there!" + +"All would have been right then, would it not, No. 6?" + +No. 6 said "Yes" from the very depths of her heart. + +"AS IT SEEMS TO US, you should say," continued Aunt Judy; "but that +is all. It could not have seemed so to the God who took their mother +away." + +"Aunt Judy--" + +"No. 6, I am telling you a very serious truth. Had it indeed been +right for the children that their mother should have lived, she would +NOT have been taken away. For some reason or other it was necessary +that they should be without the comfort, and help, and protection, of +her presence in this world. We cannot understand it, but a time may +come when we may see it all as clearly as we now see the folly of +those children who so doted upon senseless rabbits' tails." + +"Oh, Aunt Judy, but it was still very, very sad." + +"Yes, about that there cannot be a doubt, and I am as much inclined +as anybody else to say, 'Poor little things' every time I mention +them. But now let me go on with the story, for it has a sort of end +as well as beginning. The Tod affair came at last to their +grandmamma's ears." + +"I am so glad," cried No. 6. + +"You will not say so when I tell you how it happened," was Aunt +Judy's rejoinder. "The fact was, that one unfortunate day one of the +Tods disappeared. Whether it lead been left out of the basket when +grandmamma's bell rang, and so got swept away by the nurse and burnt, +I cannot say; but, at any rate, when the children went to their play +one morning, 'Softy,' their dear little 'Softy,' was gone. He was +the fattest-furred and finest-haired of all the Tod family, and the +one about whom they invented the prettiest stories; he was, in fact, +the model, the out-of-the-way-amiable pattern Tod. They could not +believe at first that he really was gone. They hunted for him in +every hole and corner of their nursery and bed-room; they looked for +him all along the passages; they tossed all the other Tods out of the +basket to find him, as if they really were--even in their eyes-- +nothing but rabbits' tails; they asked all the servants about him, +till everybody's patience was exhausted, and they got angry; and then +at last the children's hope and temper were both exhausted too, and +they broke out into passionate crying. + +"This was vexatious to the nurse, of course; but her method of +consolation was not very judicious. + +"'Why, bless my heart,' was her beginning, 'what nonsense! Didn't +the children know as well as she did, that hares' and rabbits' tails +were not alive, and couldn't feel? and what could it signify of one +of them was thrown away and lost? They'd a basket-full left besides, +and it was plenty of such rubbish as that! They were all very well +to play with up in the nursery, but they were worth nothing when all +was said and done!' + +This was completely in vain, of course. The children sat on the +nursery floor and cried on just the same; and by-and-by went away to +the corner of the room where the Tod-basket was kept, and bewailed +the loss of poor 'Softy' to his brothers and sisters inside. + +"As the time approached, however, for grandmamma's summoning bell, +the nurse began to wonder what she could do to stop this fretting, +and cool the red eyes; so she tried the coaxing plan, by way of a +change. + +"'If she was such nice little girls with beautiful dolls and toys, +she never would fret so about a rabbit's tail, to be sure! And, +besides, the boy was sure to be round again very soon with the hare +and rabbit skins; and if they would only be good, and dry their eyes, +she would get him to give them as many more as they pleased. Quite +fresh new ones. She dared say they would be as pretty again as the +one that was lost.' + +"If nurse had wished to hit upon an injudicious remark, she could not +have succeeded better. What did they care for 'fresh new' Tods +instead of their dear 'Softy?' And the mere suggestion that any +others could be prettier, turned their regretful love into a sort of +passionate indignation; yet the nurse had meant well, and was +astonished when the conclusion of what was intended to be a kind +harangue, was followed by a louder burst of crying than ever. + +"It must be owned that the little girls had by this time got out of +grief into naughtiness; and there was now quite as much petted temper +as sorrow in their tears; and lo! while they were in the midst of +this fretful condition, grandmamma's summoning bell was heard, and +they were obliged to go down to her. + +"You can just imagine their appearance when they entered the drawing- +room with their eyes red and swelled, their cheeks flushed, and +anything but a pleasant expression over their faces. Of course, +grandmamma and aunt immediately made inquiries as to the reason of so +much disturbance, but the children were scarcely able to utter the +usual 'good morning;' and when called upon to tell their cause of +trouble, did nothing but begin to cry afresh. + +"Whereupon their aunt was dispatched up-stairs to find out what was +amiss; and then, for the first time, she heard from the nurse the +history of the Tod family, the children's devotion to them, and their +present vexatious grief about the loss of a solitary one of what she +called their stupid bits of nonsense. + +"Foolish as the whole affair sounds in looking back upon it, it +certainly was one which required rather delicate handling, and I +doubt whether anybody but a mother could have handled it properly. +Grandmamma and aunt had every wish to do for the best, but they +hardly took enough into consideration, either the bereaved condition +of those motherless little ones, or their highly fanciful turn of +mind. Yet nobody was to blame; the children spent all the summer +with their father in the country, and all the winter with their +grandmamma in London; and, therefore, no continued knowledge of their +characters was possible, for they were always birds of passage +everywhere. Certainly, however, it was a great mistake, under such +circumstances, for grandmamma and aunt to have broken rudely into the +one stronghold of childish comfort, which they had raised up for +themselves." + +Aunt Judy paused, and No. 6 really looked frightened as to what was +coming next, and asked what Aunt Judy could mean that they did. +"Were they very angry?" + +"No, they were not very angry," Aunt Judy said; "perhaps if they had +been only that, the whole thing would have passed over and been +forgotten. + +"But they held grave consultation upon the subject, and made it too +serious, in my opinion, and I dare say you will think so too. +Meantime the naughty children were turned out of the room while they +talked, and the mystery of this, sobered their temper considerably; +so that they made no further disturbance, but wandered up and down +the stairs, and about the hall, in silent discomfort. + +"At one time they thought they heard the drawing-room door open, and +their aunt go up-stairs towards the nursery department again; but +then for a long while they heard no more; and at last, childlike, +began to amuse themselves by seeing how far along the oil-cloth +pattern they could each step, as they walked the length of the hall, +the great object being to stretch from one particular diamond to +another, without touching any intermediate mark. + +"In the midst of the excitement of this, they heard their aunt's +voice calling to them from the middle of the last flight of stairs. +There was something in her face, composed as it was, which alarmed +them directly, and there they stood quite still, gazing at her. + +"'Grandmamma and I,' she began, 'think you have been very silly +indeed in making such a fuss about those rabbits' tails; and you have +been very naughty indeed to-day, VERY NAUGHTY, in crying so +ridiculously, and teazing all the servants, because of one being +lost. You can't play with them rationally, nurse is sure, and so we +think you will be very much better without them. Grandmamma has sent +me to tell you--YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE TODS, AS YOU CALL THEM, ANY +MORE.' + +"Aunt Judy, it was horrible!" cried No. 6; "savage and horrible!" she +repeated, and burst the next instant into a flood of tears. + +"Oh, my old darling No. 6," cried Aunt Judy, covering the sobbing +child quite round with both her arms, "surely YOU are not going into +hysterics about the rabbits' tails too! I doubt if even their little +mammas did that. Come! you must cheer up, or mamma will leave to be +sent for to say that if you are so unreasonable, you must never +listen to Aunt Judy's stories any more." + +No. 6's emotion began to subside under the comfortable embrace, and +Aunt Judy's joke provoked a smile. + +"There now, that's good!" cried Aunt Judy; "and now, if you won't be +ridiculous, I will finish the story. I almost think the prettiest +part is to come." + +This was consolation indeed; but No. 6 could not resist a remark. + +"But, Aunt Judy, wasn't that aunt--" + +"Hush, hush," interrupted Aunt Judy, "I apologized for both aunt and +grandmamma before I told you what they did. They meant to do for the +best, and + + +'The best can do no more.' + + +They cured the evil too, though in what you and I think rather a +rough manner. And rough treatment is sometimes very effectual, +however unpleasant. It was but a preparation for the much harder +disappointments of older life." + +"Poor little things!" ejaculated No. 6, once more. "Just tell me if +they cried dreadfully." + +"I don't think I care to talk much about that, dear No. 6," answered +her sister. "They had cried almost as much as they could do in one +day, and were stupified by the new misfortune, besides which, they +had a feeling all the time of having brought it on themselves by +being dreadfully naughty. It was a sad muddle altogether, I must +confess. The shock upon the poor children's minds at the time must +have been very great, for the memory of that bereavement clung to +them through grown-up life, as a very unpleasant recollection, when a +thousand more important things had passed away forgotten from their +thoughts. In fact, as I said, the motherless little girls really +broke their hearts over a parcel of rabbits' tails. But I must go on +with the story. After a day or two of dull desolation, the children +wearied even of their grief. And both grandmamma and aunt became +very sorry for them, although the fatal subject of the Tods was never +mentioned; but they bought them several beautiful toys which no child +could help looking at or being pleased with. Among these presents +was a brown fur dog, with a very nice face and a pair of bright black +eyes, and a curly tail hung over his back in a particularly graceful +manner; and this was, as you may suppose, in the children's eyes, the +gem of all their new treasures. The feel of him reminded them of the +lost Tods; and in every respect he was, of course, superior. They +named him 'Carlo,' and in a quiet manner established him as the +favourite creature of their play. And thus, by degrees, and as time +went on, their grief for the loss of the Tods abated somewhat; and at +last they began to talk about them to each other, which was a sure +sign that their feelings were softened. + +"But you will never guess what turn their conversation took. They +did not begin to say how sorry they had been, or were; nor did they +make any angry remarks about their aunt's cruelty; but one day as +they were sitting playing with Carlo, in what may be called the Tod +corner of the nursery, the eldest child said suddenly to her sister, +in a low voice + +"'What do you think our aunt has REALLY done with the Tods?' + +"A question which seemed not at all to surprise the other, for she +answered, in the same mysterious tone:- + +"'I don't know, but I don't think she COULD burn them.' + +"'And I don't, either,' was the rejoinder. 'Perhaps she has only put +them somewhere where WE cannot get at them.' + +"The next idea came from the younger child:- + +"'Do you think she'll ever let us have them back again?' + +"But the answer to this was a long shake of the head from the wiser +elder sister. And then they began to play with Carlo again. + +"But after that day they used often to exchange a few words together +on the subject, although only to the same effect--their aunt COULD +not have burnt them, they felt sure. She never said she had burnt +them. She only said, 'YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE TODS ANY MORE.' + +"Perhaps she had only put them by; perhaps she had put them by in +some comfortable place; perhaps they were in their little basket in +some closet, or corner of the house, quite as snug as up in the +nursery. + +"And here the conversation would break off again. As to asking any +questions of their aunt, THAT was a thing that never crossed their +minds. It was impossible; the subject was so fatally serious! . . . +But I believe there was an involuntary peeping about into closets and +out-of-the-way places whenever opportunity offered; yet no result +followed, and the Tods were not found. + +"One night, two or three months later, and just before the little +things were moved back from London to their country home; and when +they were in bed in their sleeping room, as usual, and the nurse had +left them, and had shut the door between them and the day nursery, +where she sat at work, the elder child called out in a whisper to the +younger one:- + +"'Sister, are you asleep?' + +"'No. Why?' + +"'I'll tell you of a place where the Tods may be.' + +"'Where?' + +"'The cellar.' + +"'Do you think so?' + +"'Yes. I think we've looked everywhere else. And I think perhaps +it's very nice down there with bits of sawdust here and there on the +ground. I saw some on the bottle to-day, and it was quite soft. +Aunt would be quite sure we should never see them there. I dare say +it's very snug indeed all among the barrels and empty bottles in that +cellar we once peeped into.' + +"The younger child here began to laugh in delighted amusement, but +the elder one bade her 'hush,' or the nurse would hear them; and then +proceeded whispering as before + +"'It's a great big place, and they could each have a house, and visit +each other, and hide, and make fun.' + +"'And I dare say Softy was put there first,' interposed the younger +sister. + +"'Ay, and how pleased the others would be to find him there! Only +think!' + +"And they DID think. Poor little things, they lay and thought of +that meeting when 'the others' were put in the cellar where 'Softy' +already was, ready to welcome them to his new home; and they talked +of all that might have happened on such an occasion, and told each +other that the Tods were much happier altogether there, than if the +others had remained in the nursery separated from dear little Softy. +In short, they talked till the door opened, and the nurse, +unsuspicious of the state of her young charges, went to bed herself, +and sleep fell on the whole party. + +"But a new world had now opened before them out of the very midst of +their sorrow itself. The fancy home of the Tods was almost a more +available source of amusement, than even playing with the real things +had been; and sometimes in the early morning, sometimes for the +precious half-hour at night, before sleep overtook them, the little +wits went to work with fresh details and suppositions, and they +related to each other, in turns, the imaginary events of the day in +the cellar among the barrels. Each morning, when they went down- +stairs, Carlo was put in the Tod corner of the nursery and instructed +to slip away, as soon as he could manage it, to the Tods in the +cellar, and hear all that they had been about. + +"And marvellous tales Mr. Carlo used to bring back, if the children's +accounts to each other were to be trusted. Such running about, to be +sure, took place among those barrels and empty bottles. Such playing +at bo-peep. Such visits of 'Furry' and his family to 'Buffy' and HIS +family, when the little 'Furrys' and 'Buffys' could not be kept in +order, but would go peeping into bungholes, and tumbling nearly +through, and having to be picked out by Carlo, drabbled and chilled, +but ready for a fresh frolic five minutes after! + +"Such comical disputes, too, they had, as to how far the grounds +round each Tod's house extended; such funny adventures of getting +into their neighbour's corner instead of their own, in the dim light +that prevailed, and being mistaken for a thief; when Carlo had to +come and act as judge among them, and make them kiss and be friends +all round! + +"Such dinners, too, Carlo brought them, as he passed through the +kitchen on his road to the cellar, and watched his opportunity to +carry off a few un-missed little bits for his friends below. Dear +me! his contrivances on that score were endless, and the odd things +he got hold of sometimes by mistake, in his hurry, were enough to +kill the Tods with laughing--to say nothing of the children who were +inventing the history! + +"Then the care they took to save the little drops at the bottom of +the bottles, for Carlo, in return for all the trouble he had, was +most praiseworthy; and sometimes, when there was a rather larger +quantity than usual, they would have SUCH a feast!--and drink the +healths of their dear little mistresses in the nursery up-stairs. + +"In short, it was as perfect a fancy as their love for the Tods, and +their ideas of enjoyment could make it. Nothing uncomfortable, +nothing sad, was ever heard of in that cellar-home of their lost +pets. No quarrelling, no crying, no naughtiness, no unkindness, were +supposed to trouble it. Nothing was known of, there, but comfort and +fun, and innocent blunders and jokes, which ended in fun and comfort +again. One thing, therefore, you see, was established as certain +throughout the whole of the childish dream:- the departed favourites +were all perfectly happy, as happy as it was possible to be; and they +sent loving messages by Carlo to their old friends to say so, and to +beg them not to be sorry for THEM, for, excepting that they would +like some day to see those old friends again, they had nothing left +to wish for in their new home:- + +"And here the Tod story ends!" remarked Aunt Judy, in conclusion, +"and I beg you to observe, No. 6, that, like all my stories, it ends +happily. The children had now got hold of an amusement which was +safe from interference, and which lasted--I am really afraid to say +how long; for even after the fervour of their Tod love had abated, +they found an endless source of invention and enjoyment in the +cellar-home romance, and told each other anecdotes about it, from +time to time, for more, I believe, than a year." + +When Aunt Judy paused here, as if expecting some remark, all that No. +6 could say, was:- + +"Poor little things!" + +"Ay, they were still that," exclaimed Aunt Judy, "even in the midst +of their new-found comfort. Oh, No. 6, when one thinks of the +strange way in which they first of all created a sorrow for +themselves, and then devised for themselves its consolation, what a +pity it seems that no good was got out of it!" + +It was not likely that No. 6 should guess what the good was which +Aunt Judy thought might have been got out of it; and so she said; +whereupon Aunt Judy explained:- + +"Did it not offer a quite natural opportunity,--if any kind friend +had but known of it,--of speaking to those children of some of the +sacred hopes of our Christian faith?--of leading them, through kind +talk about their own pretty fancies, to the subject of WHAT REALLY +BECOMES of the dear friends who are taken away from us by death? + +"Had I been THEIR Aunt Judy," she continued, "I should have thought +it no cruelty, but kindness then, to have spoken to them about their +lost mother, and told them that she was living now in a place where +she was much, much happier, than she had ever been before, and where +one of the very few things she had left to wish for, was, that one +day she might see them again: not in this world, where people are so +often uncomfortable and sad, but in that happy one where there is no +more sorrow, or crying, for God Himself wipes away the tears from all +eyes. + +"I should have told them besides," pursued Aunt Judy, "that it would +not please their dear mother at all for them to fret for her, and +FANCY THEY COULDN'T DO WITHOUT HER, and be discontented because God +had taken her away, and think it would have been much better for them +if He had not done so--(as if He did not know a thousand times better +than they could do:)--but that it would please her very much for them +to pray to God to make them good, so that they might all meet +together at last in that very happy place. + +"In short, No. 6, I would have led them, if possible, to make a +comforting reality to themselves of the next world, as they had +already got a comforting fancy out of the cellar-dream of the Tods. +And that is the good, dear child, which I meant might have been got +out of the Tod adventure." + +Aunt Judy ceased, but there was no chance of seeing the effect of +what she had said on No. 6's face, for it was laid on her sister's +lap; probably to hide the tears which would come into her eyes at +Aunt Judy's allusion to what she had said about HER. + +At last a rather husky voice spoke:- + +"You can't expect people to like what is so very sad, even if it is-- +what you call--right--and all that." + +"No! neither does God expect it!" was Aunt Judy's earnest reply. "We +are allowed to be sorry when trials come, for we feel the suffering, +and cannot at present understand the blessing or necessity of it. +But we are not allowed to 'sorrow without hope;' and we are not +allowed, even when we are most sorry, to be rebellious, and fancy we +could choose better for ourselves than God chooses for us." + +Aunt Judy's lesson, as well as story, was ended now, and she began +talking over the entertaining part of the Tod history, and then went +on to other things, till No. 6 was quite herself again, and wanted to +know how much was true about the motherless little girls; and when +she found from Aunt Judy's answer that the account was by no means +altogether an invention, she went into a fever-fidget to know who the +children were, and what had become of them; and finally settled that +the one thing in the world she most wished for, was to see them. + +Nor would she be persuaded that this was a foolish idea, until Aunt +Judy asked her how she would like to be introduced to a couple of +VERY old women, with huge hooked noses, and beardy, nut-cracker +chins, and be told that THOSE were the motherless little girls who +had broken their hearts over rabbits' tails!--an inquiry which +tickled No. 6's fancy immensely, so that she began to laugh, and +suggest a few additions of her own to the comical picture, in the +course of doing which, she fortunately quite lost sight of the "one +thing" which a few minutes before she had "most wished for in the +world!" + + + +"OUT OF THE WAY" + + + +"Oh wonderful Son that can so astonish a Mother!" +HAMLET. + +"What a horrid nuisance you are, No. 8, brushing everything down as +you go by! Why can't you keep out of the way?" + +"Oh, you mustn't come here, No. 8. Aunt Judy, look! he's sitting on +my doll's best cloak. Do tell him to go away." + +"I can't have you bothering me, No. 8; don't you see how busy I am, +packing? Get away somewhere else." + +"You should squeeze yourself into less than nothing, and be nowhere, +No. 8." + +The suggestion, (uttered with a jocose grin,) came from a small boy +who had ensconced himself in the corner of a window, where he was +sitting on his heels, painting the Union Jack of a ship in the +Illustrated London News. He had certainly acted on the advice he +gave, as nearly as was possible. Surely no little boy of his age +ever got into so small a compass before, or in a position more +effectually out of everybody's possible way. The window corner led +nowhere, and there was nothing in it for anybody to want. + +"No. 8, I never saw anything so tiresome as you are. Why will you +poke your nose in where you're not wanted? You're always in the +way." + + +"'He poked his flat nose into every place;'" + + +sung, sotto voce, by the small boy in the window corner. + +No. 8 did not stop to dispute about it, though, in point of fact, his +nose was not flat, so at least in that respect he did not resemble +the duck in the song. + +He had not, however, been successful in gaining the attention of his +friends down-stairs, so he dawdled off to make an experiment in +another quarter. + +"Why, you're not coming into the nursery now, Master No. 8, surely! +I can't do with you fidgetting about among all the clothes and +packing. There isn't a minute to spare. You might keep out of the +way till I've finished." + +"Now, Master No. 8, you must be off. There's no time or room for you +in the kitchen this morning. There's ever so many things to get +ready yet. Run away as fast as you can." + +"What ARE you doing in the passages, No. 8? Don't you see that you +are in everybody's way? You had really better go to bed again." + +But the speaker hurried forward, and No. 8 betook himself to the +staircase, and sat down exactly in the middle of the middle flight. +And there be amused himself by peeping through the banisters into the +hall, where people were passing backwards and forwards in a great +fuss; or listening to the talking and noise that were going on in the +rooms above. + +But be was not "out of the way" there, as he soon learnt. Heavy +steps were presently heard along the landing, and heavy steps began +to descend the stairs. Two men were carrying down a heavy trunk. + +"You'll have to move, young gentleman, if you please," observed one; +"you're right in the way just there!" + +No. 8 descended with all possible speed, and arrived on the mat at +the bottom. + +"There now, I told you, you were always in the way," was the greeting +he received. "How stupid it is! Try under the table, for pity's +sake." + +Under the table! it was not a bad idea; moreover, it was a new one-- +quite a fresh plan. No. 8 grinned and obeyed. The hall table was no +bad asylum, after all, for a little boy who was always in the way +everywhere else; besides, he could see everything that was going on. +No. 8 crept under, and squatted himself on the cocoa-nut matting. He +looked up, and looked round, and felt rather as if he was in a tent, +only with a very substantial covering over his head. + +Presently the dog passed by, and was soon coaxed to lie down in the +table retreat by the little boy's side, and the two amused themselves +very nicely together. The fact was, the family were going from home, +and the least the little ones could do during the troublesome +preparation, was not to be troublesome themselves; but this is +sometimes rather a difficult thing for little ones to accomplish. +Nevertheless, No. 8 had accomplished it at last. + +"Capital, No. 8! you and the dog are quite a picture. If I had time, +I would make a sketch of you." + +That was the remark of the first person who went by afterwards, and +No. 8 grinned as he heard it. + +"Well done, No. 8! that's the best contrivance I ever saw!" + +Remark the second, followed by a second grin. + +"Why, you don't mean to say that you're under the table, Master No. +8? Well you ARE a good boy! I'm sure I'll tell your mamma." + +Another grin. + +"You dear old fellow, to put yourself so nicely out of the way! +You're worth I don't know what." + +Grin again. + +"Master No. 8 under the table, to be sure! Well, and a very nice +place it is, and quite suitable. Ever so much better than the hot +kitchen, when there's baking and all sorts of things going on. Here, +lovey! here's a little cake that was spared, that I was taking to the +parlour; but, as you're there, you shall have it." + +No. 8 grinned with all his heart this time. + +"I wish I'd thought of that! Why, I could have painted my ship there +without being squeezed!" + +It needs scarcely to be told that this was the observation of the +small boy who had watched an opportunity for emerging from the window +corner without fuss, and was now carrying his little paint-box up- +stairs to be packed away in the children's bag. As he spoke, he +stooped down to look at No. 8 and the dog, and smiled his +approbation, and No. 8 smiled in return. + +"No. 8, how snug you do look!" + +Once more an answering grin. + +"No. 8, you're the best boy in the world; and if you stay there till +Nurse is ready for you, you shall have a penny all to yourself." + +No. 8's grin was accompanied by a significant nod this time, to show +that he accepted the bargain. + +"My darling No. 8, you may come out now. There! give me a kiss, and +get dressed as fast as you can. The fly will be here directly. +You're a very good boy indeed." + +"No. 8, you're the pattern boy of the family, and I shall come with +you in the fly, and tell you a story as we go along for a reward." + +No. 8 liked both the praise, and the cake, and the penny, and the +kiss, and the promise of the rewarding story for going under the +table; but the why and wherefore of all these charming facts, was a +complete mystery to him. What did that matter, however? He ran up- +stairs, and got dressed, and was ready before anyone else; and, by a +miracle of good fortune, was on the steps, and not in the middle of +the carriage-drive, when the fly arrived, which was to take one batch +of the large family party to the railway station. + +No one was as fond of the fly conveyance as of the open carriage; +for, in the first place, it was usually very full and stuffy; and, in +the second, very little of the country could be seen from the +windows. + +But, on the present occasion, Aunt Judy having offered her services +to accompany the fly detachment, there was a wonderful alteration of +sentiment, as to who should be included. Aunt Judy, however, had her +own ideas. The three little ones belonged to the fly, as it were by +ancient usage and custom, and more than five it would not hold. + +Five it would hold, however, and five accordingly got in, No. 4 +having pleaded her own cause to be "thrown in:" and at last, with +nurses and luggage and No. 5 outside, away they drove, leaving the +open carriage and the rest to follow. + +Nothing is perfect in this world. Those who had the airy drive +missed the story, and regretted it; but it was fair that the pleasure +should be divided. + +And, after all, although the fly might be a little stuffy and closely +packed, and although it cost some trouble to settle down without +getting crushed, and make footstools of carpet bags, and let down all +the windows,--the commotion was soon over; and it was a wonderful +lull of peace and quietness, after the confusion and worry of packing +and running about, to sit even in a rattling fly. And so for five +minutes and more, all the travellers felt it to be, and a soothing +silence ensued; some leaning back, others looking silently out at the +retreating landscape, or studying with earnestness the wonderful red +plush lining of the vehicle itself. + +But presently, after the rest had lasted sufficiently long to recruit +all the spirits, No. 7 remarked, not speaking to anybody in +particular, "I thought Aunt Judy was going to tell us a story." + +No. 7 was a great smiler in a quiet way, and he smiled now, as he +addressed his remark to the general contents of the fly. + +Aunt Judy laughed, and inquired for whom the observation was meant, +adding her readiness to begin, if they would agree to sit quiet and +comfortable, without shuffling up and down, or disputing about space +and heat; and, these points being agreed to, she began her story as +follows:- + +"There were once upon a time a man and his wife who had an only son. +They were Germans, I believe, for all the funny things that happen, +happen in Germany, as you know by Grimm's fairy tales. + +"Well! this man, Franz, had been a watchmaker and mender in an old- +fashioned country town, and he had made such a comfortable fortune by +the business, that he was able to retire before he grew very old; and +so he bought a very pretty little villa in the outskirts of the town, +had a garden full of flowers with a fountain in the middle, and +enjoyed himself very much. + +"His wife enjoyed herself too, but never so much as when the +neighbours, as they passed by, peeped over the palings, and said, +'What a pretty place! What lucky people the watchmaker and his wife +are! How they must enjoy themselves!' + +"On such occasions, Madame Franz would run to her husband, crying +out, 'Come here, my dear, as fast as you can! Come, and listen to +the neighbours, saying, how we must enjoy ourselves!' + +"Franz was very apt to grunt when his wife summoned him in this +manner, and, at any rate, never would go as she requested; but little +Franz, the son, who was very like his mother, and had got exactly her +turn-up nose and sharp eyes, would scamper forward in a moment to +hear what the neighbours had to say, and at the end would exclaim:- + +"'Isn't it grand, mother, that everybody should think that?' + +"To which his mother would reply:- + +"'It is, Franz, dear! I'm so glad you feel for your mother!' and +then the two would embrace each other very affectionately several +times, and Madame Franz would go to her household business, rejoicing +to think that, if her husband did not quite sympathize with her, her +son did. + +"Young Franz had been somewhat spoilt in his childhood, as only +children generally are. As to his mother, from there being no +brothers and sisters to compare him with, she thought such a boy had +never been seen before; and she told old Franz so, so often, that at +last he began to believe it too. And then they got all sorts of +masters for him, to teach him everything they could think of, and +qualify him, as his mother said, for some rich young lady to fall in +love with. That was her idea of the way in which he was one day to +make his fortune. + +"At last, a time came when his mother thought the young gentleman +quite finished and complete; fit for anything and anybody, and likely +to create a sensation in the world. So she begged old Franz to +dismiss all his masters, and give him a handsome allowance, that he +might go off on his travels and make his fortune, in the manner +before mentioned. + +"Old Mr. Franz shook his head at first, and called it all a parcel of +nonsense. Moreover, he declared that Master Franz was a mere child +yet, and would get into a hundred foolish scrapes in less than a +week; but mamma expressed her opinion so positively, and repeated it +so often, that at last papa began to entertain it too, and gave his +consent to the plan. + +"The fact was, though I am sorry to say it, Mr. Franz was henpecked. +That is, his wife was always trying to make him obey her, instead of +obeying him, as she ought to have done; and she had managed him so +long, that she knew she could persuade him, or talk him (which is +much the same thing) into anything, provided she went on long enough. + +"So she went on about Franz going off on his travels with a handsome +allowance, till Papa Franz consented, and settled an income upon him, +which, if they had been selfish parents, they would have said they +could not afford; but, as it was, they talked the matter over +together, and told each other that it was very little two old souls +like themselves would want when their gay son was away; and so they +would draw in, and live quite quietly, as they used to do in their +early days before they grew rich, and would let the lad have the +money to spend upon his amusements. + +"Young Franz either didn't know, or didn't choose to think about +this. Clever as he was about many things, he was not clever enough +to take in the full value of the sacrifices his parents were making +for him; so he thanked them lightly for the promised allowance, +rattled the first payment cheerfully into his purse, and smiled on +papa and mamma with almost condescending complacency. When he was +equipped in his best suit, and just ready for starting, his mother +took him aside. + +"'Franz, my dear,' she said, 'you know how much money and pains have +been spent on your education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and +talk, and make yourself heard wherever you go. Now mind you do make +yourself heard, or who is to find out your merits? Don't be shy and +downcast when you come among strangers. All you have to think about, +with your advantages, is to make yourself agreeable. That's the rule +for you! Make yourself agreeable wherever you go, and the wife and +the fortune will soon be at your feet. And, Franz,' continued she, +laying hold of the button of his coat, 'there is something else. You +know, I have often said that the one only thing I could wish +different about you is, that your nose should not turn up quite so +much. But you see, my darling boy, we can't alter our noses. +Nevertheless, look here! you can incline your head in such a manner +as almost to hide the little defect. See--this way--there--let me +put it as I mean--a little down and on one side. It was the way I +used to carry my head before I married, or I doubt very much whether +your father would have looked my way. Think of this when you're in +company. It's a graceful attitude too, and you will find it much +admired.' + +"Franz embraced his mother, and promised obedience to all her +commands; but he was glad when her lecture ended, for he was not very +fond of her remarks upon his nose. Just then the door of his +father's room opened, and he called out:- + +"'Franz, my dear, I want to speak to you.' + +"Franz entered the room, and 'Now, my dear boy,' said papa, 'before +you go, let me give you one word of parting advice; but stop, we will +shut the door first, if you please. That's right. Well, now, look +here. I know that no pains or expense have been spared over your +education. You can play, and dance, and sing, and talk, and make +yourself heard wherever you go.' + +"'My dear sir,' interrupted Franz, 'I don't think you need trouble +yourself to go on. My mother has just been giving me the advice +beforehand.' + +"'No, has she though?' cried old Franz, looking up in his son's face; +but then he shook his head, and said:- + +"'No, she hasn't, Franz; no, she hasn't; so listen to me. We've all +made a fuss about you, and praised whatever you've done, and you've +been a sort of idol and wonder among us. But, now you're going among +strangers, you will find yourself Mr. Nobody, and the great thing is, +you must be contented to be Mr. Nobody at first. Keep yourself in +the background, till people have found out your merits for +themselves; and never get into anybody's way. Keep OUT of the way, +in fact, that's the safest rule. It's the secret of life for a young +man--How impatient you look! but mark my words:- all you have to +attend to, with your advantages, is, to keep out of the way.' + +"After this bit of advice, the father bestowed his blessing on his +dear Franz, and unlocked the door, close to which they found Mrs. +Franz, waiting rather impatiently till the conference was over. + +"'What a time you have been, Franz!' she began; but there was no time +to talk about it, for they all knew that the coach, or post-wagon, as +they call it in Germany, was waiting. + +"Mrs. Franz wrung her son's hand. + +"'Remember what I've said, my dearest Franz!' she cried. + +"'Trust me!' was Mr. Franz's significant reply. + +"'You'll not forget my rule?' whispered papa. + +"'Forget, sir? no, that's not possible,' answered + +Mr. Franz in a great hurry, as he ran off to catch the post-wagon; +for they could see it in the distance beginning to move, though part +of the young gentleman's luggage was on board. + +"Well! he was just in time; but what do you think was the next thing +he did, after keeping the people waiting? A sudden thought struck +him, that it would be as well for the driver and passengers to know +how well educated he had been, so he began to give the driver a few +words of geographical information about the roads they were going. + +"'Jump in directly, sir, if you please,' was the driver's gruff +reply. + +"'Certainly not, till I've made you understand what I mean,' says +Master Franz, quite facetiously. But, then, smack went the whip, and +the horses gave a jolt forwards, and over the tip of the learned +young gentleman's foot went the front wheel. + +"It was a nasty squeeze, though it might have been worse, but Franz +called out very angrily, something or other about 'disgraceful +carelessness,' on which the driver smacked his whip again, and +shouted:- + +"'Gentlemen that won't keep out of the way, must expect to have their +toes trodden on.' Everybody laughed at this, but Franz was obliged +to spring inside, without taking any notice of the joke, as the coach +was now really going on; and if he had began to talk, he would have +been left behind. + +"And now," continued Aunt Judy, stopping herself, "while Franz is +jolting along to the capital town of the country, you shall tell me +whose advice you think he followed when he got to the end of the +journey, and began life for himself--his father's or his mother's?" + +There was a universal cry, mixed with laughter, of "His mother's!" + +"Quite right," responded Aunt Judy. "His mother's, of course. It +was far the most agreeable, no doubt. Keeping out of the way is a +rather difficult thing for young folks to manage." + +A glance at No. 8 caused that young gentleman's face to grin all +over, and Aunt Judy proceeded:- + +"After his arrival at the great hotel of the town, he found there was +to be a public dinner there that evening, which anybody might go to, +who chose to pay for it; and this he thought would be a capital +opportunity for him to begin life: so, accordingly, he went up- +stairs to dress himself out in his very best clothes for the +occasion. + +"And then it was that, as he sat in front of the glass, looking at +his own face, while he was brushing his hair and whiskers, and +brightening them up with bear's-grease, he began to think of his +father and mother, and what they had said, and what he had best do. + +"'An excellent, well-meaning couple, of course, but as old-fashioned +as the clocks they used to mend,' was his first thought. 'As to +papa, indeed, the poor old gentleman thinks the world has stood still +since he was a young man, thirty years ago. His stiff notions were +all very well then, perhaps, but in these advanced times they are +perfectly quizzical. Keep out of the way, indeed! Why, any +ignoramus can do that, I should think! Well, well, he means well, +all the same, so one must not be severe. As to mamma now--poor +thing--though she IS behindhand herself in many ways, yet she DOES +know a good thing when she sees it, and that's a great point. She +can appreciate the probable results of my very superior education and +appearance. To be sure, she's a little silly over that nose affair;- +-but women will always be silly about something.' + +"Nevertheless, at this point in his meditations, Master Franz might +have been seen inclining his head down on one side, just as his +mother had recommended, and then giving a look at the mirror, to see +whether the vile turn-up did really disappear in that attitude. I +suspect, however, that he did not feel quite satisfied about it, for +he got rather cross, and finished his dressing in a great hurry, but +not before he had settled that there could be only one opinion as to +whose advice he should be guided by--dear mamma's. + +"'Should it fail,' concluded he to himself, as he gave the last smile +at the looking-glass, 'there will be poor papa's old-world notion to +fall back upon, after all.' + +"Now, you must know that Master Franz had never been at one of these +public dinners before, so there is no denying that when he entered +the large dining-hall, where there was a long table, set out with +plates, and which was filling fast with people, not one of whom he +knew, he felt a little confused. But he repeated his mother's words +softly to himself, and took courage: 'DON'T BE SHY AND DOWNCAST WHEN +YOU COME AMONG STRANGERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT, WITH YOUR +ADVANTAGES, IS TO MAKE YOURSELF AGREEABLE;' and, on the strength of +this, he passed by the lower end of the table, where there were +several unoccupied places, and walked boldly forward to the upper +end, where groups of people were already seated, and were talking and +laughing together. + +"In the midst of one of these groups, there was one unoccupied seat, +and in the one next to it sat a beautiful, well-dressed young lady. +'Why, this is the very thing,' thought Mr. Franz to himself. 'Who +knows but what this is the young lady who is to make my fortune?' + +"There was a card, it is true, in the plate in front of the vacant +seat, but 'as to that,' thought Franz, 'first come, first served, I +suppose; I shall sit down!' + +"And sit down the young gentleman accordingly did in the chair by the +beautiful young lady, and even bowed and smiled to her as he did so. + +"But the next instant he was tapped on the shoulder by a waiter. + +"'The place is engaged, sir!' and the man pointed to the card in the +plate. + +"'Oh, if that's all,' was Mr. Franz's witty rejoinder, 'here's +another to match!' and thereupon he drew one of his own cards from +his pocket, threw it into the plate, and handed the first one to the +astonished waiter, with the remark:- + +"'The place is engaged, my good friend, you see!' + +"The young goose actually thought this impudence clever, and glanced +across the table for applause as he spoke. But although Mamma +Watchmaker, if she had heard it, might have thought it a piece of +astonishing wit, the strangers at the public table were quite of a +different opinion, and there was a general cry of 'Turn him out!' + +"'Turn me out!' shouted Mr. Franz, jumping up from his chair, as if +he intended to fight them all round; and there is no knowing what +more nonsense he might not have talked, but that a very sonorous +voice behind him called out,--a hand laying hold of him by the +shoulders at the same time - + +"'Young man, I'll trouble you to get out of my chair, and' (a little +louder) 'out of my way, and' (a little louder still) 'to KEEP out of +my way!' + +"Franz felt himself like a child in the grasp of the man who spoke; +and one glimpse he caught of a pair of coal-black eyes, two frowning +eye-brows, and a moustachioed mouth, nearly frightened him out of his +wits, and he was half way down the room before he knew what was +happening; for, after the baron let him go, the waiter seized him and +hustled him along, till he came to the bottom of the table; where, +however, there was now no room for him, as all the vacant places had +been filled up; so he was pushed finally to a side-table in a corner, +at which sat two men in foreign dresses, not one word of whose +language he could understand. + +"These two fellows talked incessantly together too, which was all the +more mortifying, because they gesticulated and laughed as if at some +capital joke. Franz was very quiet at first, for the other adventure +had sobered him, but presently, with his mother's advice running in +his head, he resolved to make himself agreeable, if possible. + +"So, at the next burst of merriment, he affected to have entered into +the joke, threw himself back in his chair and laughed as loudly as +they did. The men stared for a second, then frowned, and then one of +them shouted something to him very loudly, which he did not +understand; so he placed his hand on his heart, put on an expressive +smile, and offered to shake hands. Thought he, that will be +irresistible! But he was mistaken. The other man now called loudly +to the waiter, and a moment after, Franz found himself being conveyed +by the said waiter through the doorway into the hall, with the remark +resounding in his ears:- + +"'What a foolish young gentleman you must be! Why can't you keep out +of people's way?' + +"'My good friend,' cried Mr. Franz, 'that's not my plan at present. +I'm trying to make myself agreeable.' + +"'Oh--pooh!--bother agreeable,' cried the waiter. 'What's the use of +making yourself agreeable, if you're always in the way? Here!--step +back, sir! don't you see the tray coming?' + +"Franz had not noticed it, and would probably have got a thump on the +head from it, if his friend the waiter had not pulled him back. The +man was a real good-natured, smiling German, and said:- + +"'Come, young gentleman, here's a candle;--you've a bed-room here, of +course. Now, you take my advice, and go to bed. You WILL be out of +the way there, and perhaps you'll get up wiser to-morrow.' + +"Franz took the candlestick mechanically, but, said he:- + +"'I understood there was to be dancing here tonight, and I can dance, +and--' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother dancing,' interrupted the waiter. 'What's the use +of dancing, if you're to be in everybody's way, and I know you will; +you can't help it. Here, be advised for once, and go to bed. I'll +bring you up some coffee before long. Go quietly up now--mind. Good +night.' + +"Two minutes afterwards, Mr. Franz found himself walking up-stairs, +as the waiter had ordered him to do, though he muttered something +about 'officious fellow' as he went along. + +"And positively he went to bed, as the officious fellow recommended; +and while he lay there waiting for the coffee, he began wondering +what COULD be the cause of the failure of his attempts to make +himself agreeable. Surely his mother was right--surely there could +be no doubt that, with his advantages--but he did not go on with the +sentence. + +"Well, after puzzling for some time, a bright thought struck him. It +was entirely owing to that stupid nose affair, which his mother was +so silly about. Of course that was it! He had done everything else +she recommended, but he could not keep his head down at the same +time, so people saw the snub! Well, he would practise the attitude +now, at any rate, till the coffee came! + +"No sooner said than done. Out of bed jumped Mr. Franz, and went +groping about for the table to find matches to light the candle. +But, unluckily, he had forgotten how the furniture stood, so he got +to the door by a mistake, and went stumbling up against it, just as +the waiter with the coffee opened it on the other side. + +"There was a plunge, a shout, a shuffling of feet, and then both were +on the floor, as was also the hot coffee, which scalded Franz's bare +legs terribly. + +"The waiter got up first, and luckily it was the 'officious fellow' +with the smiling face. And said he:- + +"'What a miserable young man you must be, to be sure! Why, you're +NEVER out of the way, not even when you're gone to bed!' + +This last anecdote caused an uproar of delight in the fly, and so +much noise, that Aunt Judy had to call the party to order, and talk +about the horses being frightened, after which she proceeded:- + +"I am sorry to say Mr. Franz did not get up next morning as much +wiser as the waiter had expected, for he laid all the blame of his +misfortunes on his nose instead of his impertinence, and never +thought of correcting himself, and being less intrusive. + +"On the contrary, after practising holding his head down for ten +minutes before the glass, he went out to the day's amusements, as +saucy and confident as ever. + +"Now there is no time," continued Aunt Judy, "for my telling you all +Mr. Franz's funny scrapes and adventures. When we get to the end of +the journey, you must invent some for yourselves, and sit together, +and tell them in turns, while we are busy unpacking. I will only +just say, that wherever he went, the same sort of things happened to +him, because he was always thrusting himself forward, and always +getting pushed back in consequence. + +"Out of the public gardens he got fairly turned at last, because he +would talk politics to some strange gentlemen on a bench. They got +up and walked away, but, five minutes afterwards, a very odd-looking +man looked over Franz's shoulder, and said significantly, 'I +recommend you to leave these gardens, sir, and walk elsewhere.' And +poor Franz, who had heard of such things as prisons and dungeons for +political offenders, felt a cold shudder run through him, and took +himself off with all possible speed, not daring to look behind him, +for fear he should see that dreadful man at his heels. Indeed, he +never felt safe till he was in his bed-room again, and had got the +waiter to come and talk to him. + +"'Dear me,' said the waiter, 'what a very silly young gentleman you +must be, to go talking away without being asked!' + +"'But,' said Franz, 'you don't consider what a superior education I +have had. I can talk and make myself heard--' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother talking,' interrupted the waiter; 'what's the use +of talking when nobody wants to listen? Much better go to bed.' + +"Franz would not give in yet, but was comforted to find the waiter +did not think he would be thrown into prisons and dungeons; so he +dined, and dressed, and went to the theatre to console himself, where +however he MADE HIMSELF HEARD so effectually--first applauding, then +hissing, and even speaking his opinions to the people round him--that +a set of young college students combined together to get rid of him, +and, I am sorry to add, they made use of a little kicking as the +surest plan; and so, before half the play was over, Mr. Franz found +himself in the street! + +"Now, then, I have told you enough of Mr. Franz's follies, except the +one last adventure, which made him alter his whole plan of +proceeding. + +"He had had two letters of introduction to take with him: one to an +old partner of his father's, who had settled in the capital some +years before; another to some people of more consequence, very +distant family connections. And, of course, Mr. Franz went there +first, as there seemed a nice chance of making his fortune among such +great folks. + +"And really the great folks would have been civil enough, but that he +soon spoilt everything by what HE called 'making himself agreeable.' +He was too polite, too affectionate, too talkative, too instructive, +by half! He assured the young ladies that he approved very highly of +their singing; trilled out a little song of his own, unasked, at his +first visit; fondled the pet lap-dog on his knee; congratulated papa +on looking wonderfully well for his age; asked mamma if she had tried +the last new spectacles; and, in short, gave his opinions, and +advice, and information, so freely, that as soon as he was gone the +whole party exclaimed:- + +"'What an impertinent jackanapes!' a jackanapes being nothing more +nor less than a human monkey. + +"This went on for some time, for he called very often, being too +stupid, in spite of his supposed cleverness, to take the hints that +were thrown out, that such repeated visits were not wanted. + +"At last, however, the family got desperate and one morning when he +arrived, (having teazed them the day before for a couple of hours,) +he saw nobody in the drawing-room when he was ushered in. + +"Never mind, thought he, they'll be here directly when they know I'M +come! And having brought a new song in his pocket, which he had been +practising to sing to them, he sat down to the piano, and began +performing alone, thinking how charmed they would be to hear such +beautiful sounds in the distance! + +"But, in the middle of his song, he heard a discordant shout, and +jumping up, discovered the youngest little Missy hid behind the +curtain, and crying tremendously. + +"Mr. Franz became quite theatrical. 'Lovely little pet, where are +your sisters? Have they left my darling to weep alone?' + +"'They shut the door before I could get through,' sobbed the lovely +little pet; 'and I won't be your darling a bit!' + +"Mr. Franz laughed heartily, and said how clever she was, took her on +his knee, told her her sisters would be back again directly, and +finished his remark by a kiss. + +"Unfortunate Mr. Franz! The young lady immediately gave him an +unmistakable box on the ear with her small fist, and vociferated + +"No, they won't, they won't, they won't! They'll never come back +till you're gone! They've gone away to get out of YOUR way, because +you won't keep out of THEIRS. And you're a forward puppy, papa says, +and can't take a hint; and you're always in everybody's way, and I'LL +get out of your way, too!' + +"Here the little girl began to kick violently; but there was no +occasion. Mr. Franz set her down, and while she ran off to her +sisters, he rushed back to the hotel, and double-locked himself into +his room. + +"After a time, however, he sent for his friend the waiter, for he +felt that a talk would do him good. + +"But the 'officious fellow' shook his head terribly. + +"'How many more times am I to tell you what a foolish young gentleman +you are?' cried he. 'Will you never get up wiser any morning of the +year?' + +"'I thought,' murmured Franz, in broken, almost sobbing accents--'I +thought--the young ladies--would have been delighted--with--my song;- +-you see--I've been--so well taught--and I can sing--' + +"'Oh! pooh, pooh, pooh!' interrupted the waiter once more. 'Bother +singing and everything else, if you've not been asked! Much better +go to bed!' + +"Poor Franz! It was hard work to give in, and he made a last effort. + +"'Don't you think--after all--that the prejudice--is owing to--what I +told you about:- people do so dislike a snub-nose?' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother a snub-nose,' exclaimed the waiter; 'what will +your nose signify, if you don't poke it in everybody's way?' + +"And with this conclusion Mr. Franz was obliged to be content; and he +ordered his dinner up-stairs, and prepared himself for an evening of +tears and repentance. + +"But, before the waiter had been gone five minutes, he returned with +a letter in his hand. + +"'Now, here's somebody asking something at last,' said he, for a +servant had brought it. + +"Franz trembled as he took it. It was sure to be either a scolding +or a summons to prison, he thought. But no such thing: it was an +invitation to dinner. Franz threw it on the floor, and kicked it +from him--he would go nowhere--see nobody any more! + +"The 'officious fellow' picked it up, and read it. 'Mr. Franz,' said +he, 'you mustn't go to bed this time: you must go to this dinner +instead. It's from your father's old partner--he wishes you had +called, but as you haven't called, he asks you to dine. Now you're +wanted, Mr. Franz, and must go.' + +"'I shall get into another mess,' cried Franz, despondingly. + +"'Oh, pooh! you've only to keep out of everybody's way, and all will +be right,' insisted the waiter, as he left the room. + +"'Only to keep out of everybody's way, and all will be right,' +ejaculated Mr. Franz, as he looked at his crest-fallen face in the +glass. 'It's a strange rule for getting on in life! However,' +continued he, cheering up, 'one plan has failed, and it's only fair +to give the other a chance!' + +"And all the rest of dressing-time, and afterwards as he walked along +the streets, he kept repeating his father's words softly to himself, +which was at first a very difficult thing to do, because he could not +help mixing them up with his mother's. It was the funniest thing in +the world to hear him: 'ALL YOU HAVE TO ATTEND TO, WITH YOUR +ADVANTAGES IS TO--MAKE YOURSELF--no, no! not to make myself +agreeable--IS TO--KEEP OUT OF THE WAY!--that's it!' (with a sigh.) + +"When Franz arrived at the house, he rang the bell so gently, that he +had to ring twice before he was heard; and then they concluded it was +some beggar, who was afraid of giving a good pull. + +"So, when he was ushered into the drawing-room, the old partner came +forward to meet him, took him by both hands, and, after one look into +his downcast face, said:- + +"'My dear Mr. Franz, you must put on a bolder face, and ring a louder +peal, next time you come to the house of your father's old friend!' + +"Mr. Franz answered this warm greeting by a sickly smile, and while +he was being introduced to the family, kept bowing on, thinking of +nothing but how he was to keep out of everybody's way!' + +"He was tempted every five minutes, of course, to break out in his +usual style, and could have found it in his heart to chuck the whole +party under the chin, and take all the talk to himself. But he could +be determined enough when he chose; and having determined to give his +father's rule a fair chance, he restrained himself to the utmost. + +"So, not even the hearty reception of the old partner and his wife, +nor the smiling faces of either daughters or sons, could lure him +into opening out. 'Yes' and 'No;' 'Do you think so?' 'I dare say;' +'Perhaps;' 'No doubt you're right;' and other such unmeaning little +phrases were all he would utter when they talked to him. + +"'How shy he is, poor fellow!' thought the ladies, and then they +talked to him all the more. One tried to amuse him with one subject, +another with another. How did he like the public gardens? Were they +not very pretty?--He scarcely knew. No doubt they were, if THEY +thought so. What did he think of the theatre?--It was very hot when +he was there. Had he any friends in the town?--He couldn't say +friends--he knew one or two people a little. And the poor youth +could hardly restrain a groan, as he answered each of the questions. + +"Then they chatted of books, and music, and dancing, and pressed him +hard to discover what he knew, and could do, and liked best; and when +it oozed out even from his short answers, that he had read certain +books in more than one language, and could sing--just a little; and +dance--just a little; and do several other things--just a little, +too, all sorts of nods and winks passed through the family, and they +said:- + +"'Ah, when you know us better, and are not so shy of us as strangers, +we shall find out you are as clever again as you pretend to be, dear +Mr. Franz!' + +"'I'll tell you what,' added the old partner, coming up at this +moment, 'it's a perfect treat to me, Mr. Franz, to have a young man +like you in my house! You're your father over again, and I can't +praise you more. He was the most modest, unobtrusive man in all our +town, and yet knew more of his business than all of us put together.' + +"'No, no, I can't allow that,' cried the motherly wife. + +"'Nonsense!' replied the old partner. 'However, my dear boy--for I +really must call you so--it was that very thing that made your +father's fortune; I mean that he was just as unpretending as he was +clever. Everybody trusts an unpretending man. And YOU'LL make your +fortune too in the same manner, trust me, before long. Now, boys!' +added he, turning to his sons, 'you hear what I say, and mind you +take the hint! As for the young puppies of the present day, who +fancy themselves fit to sit in the chair of their elders as soon as +ever they have learnt their alphabet, and are for thrusting +themselves forward in every company--Mr. Franz, I'll own it to you, +because you will understand me--I have no patience with such rude, +impertinent Jackanapeses, and always long to kick them down-stairs.' + +"The old partner stood in front of Mr. Franz as he spoke, and +clenched his fist in animation. Mr. Franz sat on thorns. He first +went hot, and then he went cold--he felt himself kicked down-stairs +as he listened--he was ready to cry--he was ready to fight--he was +ready to run away--he was ready to drop on his knees, and confess +himself the very most impertinent of all the impertinent Jackanapes' +race. + +But he gulped, and swallowed, and shut his teeth close, and nobody +found him out; only he looked very pale, which the good mother soon +noticed, and said she to her husband:- + +"'My dear love, don't you see how fagged and weary it makes Mr. Franz +look, to hear you raving on about a parcel of silly lads with whom HE +has nothing in common? You will frighten him out of his wits.' + +"'Mr. Franz will forgive me, I know,' cried the old partner, gently. +'Jacintha, my dear, fetch the wine and cake!' + +"The kind, careful souls feared he was delicate, and insisted on his +having some refreshment; and then papa ordered the young people to +give their guest some music; and Franz sat by while the sons and +daughters went through a beautiful opera chorus, which was so really +charming, that Mr. Franz did forget himself for a minute, clapped +violently, and got half-way through the word 'encore' in a very loud +tone. But he checked himself instantly, coloured, apologized for his +rudeness, and retreated further back from the piano. + +"Of course, this new symptom of modesty was met by more kindness, and +followed by a sly hint from the merry Jacintha, that Mr. Franz's turn +for singing had come now! + +"Poor Mr. Franz! with the recollection of the morning's adventure on +his mind, and his father's rule ringing in his ears, he felt singing +to be out of the question, so he declined. On which they entreated, +insisted, and would listen to no refusal. And Jacintha went to him, +and looked at him with her sweetest smile, and said, 'But you know, +Mr. Franz, you said you could sing a little; and if it's ever so +little, you should sing WHEN YOU'RE ASKED!' and with that Miss +Jacintha offered him her hand, and led him to the piano. + +"Franz was annoyed, though he ought to been pleased. + +"'But how AM I to keep out of people's way,' thought he to himself, +'if they will pull me forward? It's the oddest thing I ever knew. I +can't do right either way.' + +"Then a thought struck him:- + +"'I have no music, Miss Jacintha,' said he, 'and I can't sing without +music;' and he was going back again to his chair in the corner. + +"'But we have all the new music,' was her answer, and she opened a +portfolio at once. 'See, here's the last new song!' and she held one +up before the unfortunate youth, who at the sight of it coloured all +over, even to the tips of his ears. Whereupon Miss Jacintha, who was +watching him, laughed, and said she had felt sure he knew it; and +down she sat, and began to play the accompaniment, and in two minutes +afterwards Mr. Franz found himself--in spite of himself, as it were-- +exhibiting in THE song, the fatal song of the morning's adventure. + +"It was a song of tender sentiment, and the singer's almost tremulous +voice added to the effect, and a warm clapping of hands greeted its +conclusion. + +"But by that time Mr. Franz was so completely exhausted with the +struggles of this first effort on the new plan, that he began to wish +them good-night, saying he would not intrude upon them any longer. + +"They would shake hands with him, though he tried to bow himself off +without; and the old partner followed him down-stairs into the hall. + +"'Mr. Franz,' said he, 'we have been delighted to make your +acquaintance, but this has been only a quiet family party. Now we +know your SORT, you must come again, and meet our friends. Wife will +fix the day, and send you word; and don't you be afraid, young man! +Mind you come, and put your best foot forward among us all!' + +"Franz was almost desperate. His conscience began to reproach him. +What! was he going to accept all this kindness, like a rogue +receiving money under false pretences? He was shocked, and began to +protest:- + +"'I assure you, dear sir, I don't deserve--You are quite under a +mistake--I really am not--the fact is, you think a great deal better +of me than--" + +"'Nonsense!' shouted the old partner, clapping him vigorously on the +back. 'Why, you're not going to teach me at my time of life, surely? +Not going to turn as conceited as that, after all, eh? Come, come, +Mr. Franz, no nonsense! And to-morrow,' he added, 'I'll send you +letters of introduction to some of my friends, who will show you the +lions, and make much of you. You will be well received wherever you +take them, first for my sake, and afterwards for your own. There, +there! I won't hear a word! No thanks--I hate them! Good night.' + +"And the old partner fairly pushed Mr. Franz through the door. + +"'Oh dear, oh dear!' was the waiter's exclamation when Franz reached +the hotel, and the light of the lamp shone on his white, worn-out +face. 'Oh dear, oh dear! I fear you've been a silly young gentleman +over again! What HAVE you been doing this time?' + +"'I've been trying to keep out of everybody's way all the evening,' +growled Mr. Franz, 'and they would pull me forward, in spite of +myself.' + +"'No--really though?' cried the waiter, as if it were scarcely +possible. + +"'Really,' sighed poor Mr. Franz. + +"'Then do me the honour, sir,' exclaimed the waiter, with a sudden +deference of manner; and taking the tips of Franz's fingers in his +own, he bent over them with a salute. 'You're a wise young gentleman +now, sir, and your fortune's made. I'm glad you've hit it at last! + +"And Mr. Franz had hit it at last, indeed," continued Aunt Judy, "as +appeared more plainly still by the letters of introduction which +reached him next morning. They were left open, and were to this +effect:- + +"' . . . The bearer of this is the son of an old friend. One of the +most agreeable young men I ever saw. As modest as he is well +educated, and I can't say more. Procure him some amusement, that a +little of his shyness may be rubbed off; and forward his fortunes, my +dear friend, as far as you can . . . ' + +"Franz handed one of these letters to his friend the waiter, and the +'officious fellow' grinned from ear to ear. + +"'There is only one more thing to fear,' observed he. + +"'And what?' asked Franz. + +"'Why, that now you're comfortable, my dear young gentleman, your +head should be turned, and you should begin to make yourself +agreeable again, and spoil all.' + +"'Oh, pooh! bother agreeable; _I_ say now, as you did,' cried Franz, +laughing. 'No, no, my good friend, I'm not going to make myself +agreeable any more. I know better than that at last!' + +"'Then your fortune's safe as well as made!' was the waiter's last +remark, as he was about to withdraw: but Franz followed him to the +door. + +"'I found out a rather curious thing this evening, do you know!' + +"'And that was?--' inquired his humble friend. + +"'Why, that I was sitting all the time in that very attitude my +mother recommended--with my head a little down, you know--so that I +really don't think they noticed my snub.' + +"The waiter got as far as, 'Oh, pooh!' but Franz was nervous, and +interrupted him. + +"'Yes--yes! I don't believe there's anything in it myself; but it +will be a comfort to my mother to think it was her advice that made +my fortune, which she will do when I tell her that!' + +"'Ah!--the ladies will be romantic now and then!' exclaimed the +waiter, with a flourish of his hand, 'and you must trim the comfort +to a person's taste.' + +"And in due time," pursued Aunt Judy, "that was exactly what Mr. +Franz did. Strictly adhering to his father's rule, and encouraged by +its capital success that first night, he got so out of the habit of +being pert, and foolish, and inconsiderate, that he ended by never +having any wish to be so; so that he really became what the old +partner had imagined him to be at first. It was a great restraint +for some time, but his modest manners fitted him at last as easy as +an old shoe, and he was welcome at every house, because he was NEVER +IN THE WAY, and always knew when to retire! + +"It was a jovial day for Papa and Mamma's Watchmaker when, two years +afterwards, Mr. Franz returned home, a partner in the old partner's +prosperous business, and with the smiling Jacintha for his bride. + +"And then, in telling his mother of that first evening of his good +fortune, he did not forget to mention that he had hung down his head +all the time, as she had advised; and, just as he expected, she +jumped up in the most extravagant delight. + +"'I knew how it would be all along!' cried she; 'I told you so! I +knew if you could only hide that terrible snub all would be well; and +I'm sure our pretty Jacintha wouldn't have looked your way if you +hadn't! See, now! you have to thank your mother for it all!' + +"Franz was quite happy himself, so he smiled, and let his mother be +happy her way too; but he opened his heart of hearts to poor old- +fashioned papa, and told him--well, in fact, all his follies and +mistakes, and their cure. And if mamma was happy in her bit of +comfort, papa was not less so in his, for there is not a more +delightful thing in the world than for father and son to understand +each other as friends; and old Franz would sometimes walk up and down +in his room, listening to the cheerful young voices up-stairs, and +say to himself, that if Mother Franz--good soul as she was--did not +always quite enter into his feelings, it was his comfort to be +blessed with a son who did!" + +* * * + +What a long story it had been! Aunt Judy was actually tired out when +she got to the end, and could not talk about it, but the little ones +did till they arrived at the station, and had to get out. + +And in the evening, when they were all sitting together before they +went to bed, there was no small discussion about the story of Mr. +Franz, and how people were to know what was really good manners--when +to come forward, and when to hold back--and the children were a +little startled at first, when their mother told them that the best +rules for good manners were to be found in the Bible. + +But when she reminded them of that text, "When thou art bidden, go +and sit down in the lowest room," &c. they saw in those words a very +serious reason for not pushing forward into the best place in +company. And when they recollected that every man was to do to +others as he wished others to do to him, it became clear to them that +it was the duty of all people to study their neighbours' comfort and +pleasure as well as their own; and it was no hard matter to show how +this rule applied to all the little ins and outs of every-day life, +whether at home, or in society. And there were plenty of other +texts, ordering deference to elders, and the modesty which arises out +of that humility of spirit which "vaunteth not itself," and "is not +puffed up." There was, moreover, the comfortable promise, that "the +meek" should "inherit the earth." + +Of course, it was difficult to the little ones, just at first, to see +how such very serious words could apply to anybody's manners, and +especially to their own. + +But it was a difficulty which mamma, with a little explanation, got +over very easily; and before the little ones went to bed, they quite +understood that in restraining themselves from teazing and being +troublesome, they were not only not being "tiresome," but were +actually obeying several Gospel rules. + + + +"NOTHING TO DO." + + + +"Had I a little son, I would christen him NOTHING-TO-DO." +CHARLES LAMB. + +There is a complaint which is not to be found in the doctor's books, +but which is, nevertheless, such a common and troublesome one, that +one heartily wishes some physic could be discovered which would cure +it. + +It may be called the NOTHING-TO-DO complaint. + +Even quite little children are subject to it, but they never have it +badly. Parents and nurses have only to give them something to do, or +tell them of something to do, and the thing is put right. A puzzle +or a picture-book relieves the attack at once. + +But after the children have out-grown puzzles, and picture-books, and +nurses, and when even a parent's advice is received with a little +impatience, then the NOTHING-TO-DO complaint, if it seizes them at +all, is a serious disease, and often very difficult to cure; and, if +not cured, alas! then follows the melancholy spectacle of grown-up +men and women, who are a plague to their friends, and a weariness to +themselves; because, living under the notion that there is NOTHING +for them TO DO, they want everybody else to do something to amuse +them. + +Anyone can laugh at the old story of the gentleman who got into such +a fanciful state of mind--hypochondriacal, it is called--that he +thought he was his own umbrella; and so, on coming in from a walk, +would go and lay IT in the easy-chair by the fire, while he himself +went and leant up against the wall in a corner of the hall. + +But this gentleman was not a bit more fanciful and absurd than the +people, whether young or old, who look out of windows on rainy days +and groan because there is NOTHING TO DO; when, in reality, there is +so much for everybody to do, that most people leave half their share +undone. + +The oddest part of the complaint is, that it generally comes on worst +in those who from being comfortably off in the world, and from having +had a great deal of education, have such a variety of things to do, +that one would fancy they could never be at a loss for a choice. + +But these are the very people who are most afflicted. It is always +the young people who have books, and leisure, and music, and drawing, +and gardens, and pleasure-grounds, and villagers to be kind to, who +lounge to the rain-bespattered windows on a dull morning, and groan +because there is NOTHING TO DO. + +In justice to girls in general, it should be here mentioned, that +they are on the whole less liable to the complaint than the young +lords of the creation, who are supposed to be their superiors in +sense. Philosophers may excuse this as they please, but the fact +remains, that there are few large families in England, whose +sisterhoods have not at times been teazed half out of their wits, by +the growlings of its young gentlemen, during paroxysms of the +NOTHING-TO-DO complaint; growling being one of its most +characteristic symptoms. + +Perhaps among all the suffering sisterhoods it would have been +difficult to find a young lady less liable to catch such a disorder +herself, than Aunt Judy; and perhaps that was the reason why she used +to do such tremendous battle with No. 3, whenever, after his return +from school for the holidays, he happened to have an attack. + +"What are you groaning at through the window, No. 3?" she inquired on +one such occasion; "is it raining?" + +A very gruff-sounding "No," was the answer--No. 3 not condescending +to turn round as he spoke. He proceeded, however, to state that it +had rained when he got up, and he supposed it would rain again as a +matter-of-course, (for his especial annoyance being implied,) and he +concluded:- + +"It's so horribly 'slow' here, with nothing to do." + +No. 6, who was sitting opposite Aunt Judy, doing a French exercise, +here looked up at her sister, and perceiving a smile steal over her +face, took upon herself to think her brother's remark very +ridiculous, so, said she, with a saucy giggle:- + +"I can find you plenty to do, No. 3, in a minute. Come and write my +French exercise for me. + +No. 3 turned sharply round at this, with a frown on his face which by +no means added to its beauty, and called out:- + +"Now, Miss Pert, I recommend you to hold your tongue. I don't want +any advice from a conceited little minx like you." + +Miss Pert was extinguished at once, and set to work at the French +exercise again most industriously, and a general silence ensued. + +But people in the nothing-to-do complaint are never quiet for long. +Teazing is quite as constant a symptom of it, as growling, so No. 3 +soon came lounging from the window to the table, and began:- + +"I say, Judy, I wish you would put those tiresome books, and +drawings, and rubbish away, and I think of something to do." + +"But it's the books, and the drawings, and the rubbish that give me +something to do," cried Aunt Judy. "You surely don't expect me to +give them up, and go arm and arm with you round the house, bemoaning +the slowness of our fate which gives us nothing to do. Or shall we? +Come, I don't care; I will if you like. But which shall we complain +to first, mamma, or the maids?" + +While she was saying this, Aunt Judy shut up her drawing book, jumped +up from her chair, drew No. 3's arm under her own, and repeated:- + +"Come! which? mamma, or the maids?" while Miss Pert opposite was +labouring with all her might to smother the laugh she dared not +indulge in. + +But No. 3 pushed Aunt Judy testily away. + +"'Nonsense, Judy! what has that to do with it? It's all very well +for you girls--now, Miss Pert, mind your own affairs, and don't stare +at me!--to amuse yourself with all manner of--" + +"Follies, of course," cried Aunt Judy, laughing, "don't be afraid of +speaking out, No. 3. It's all very well for us girls to amuse +ourselves with all manner of follies, and nonsense, and rubbish;" +here Aunt Judy chucked the drawing-book to the end of the table, +tossed a dictionary after it, and threw another book or two into the +air, catching them as they came down. + +"--while you, superior, sensible young man that you are, born to be +the comfort of your family--" + +"Be quiet!" interrupted No. 3, trying to stop her; but she ran round +the table and proceeded:- + +"--and the enlightener of mankind; can't--no, no, No. 3, I won't be +stopt!--can't amuse yourself with anything, because everything is so +'horribly slow, there's nothing to do,' so you want to tie yourself +to your foolish sister's apron string." + +"It's too bad!" shouted No. 3; and a race round the table began +between them, but Aunt Judy dodged far too cleverly to be caught, so +it ended in their resting at opposite ends; No. 6 and her French +exercises lying between them. + +"No. 6, my dear," cried Aunt Judy, in the lull of exertion, "I +proclaim a holiday from folly and rubbish. Put your books away, and +put your impertinence away too. Hold your tongue, and don't be Miss +Pest; and vanish as soon as you can." + +Miss Pert performed two or three putting-away evolutions with the +velocity of a sunbeam, and darted off through the door. + +"Now, then, we'll be reasonable," observed Aunt Judy; and carrying a +chair to the front of the fire she sat down, and motioned to No. 3 to +do the same, taking out from her pocket a little bit of embroidery +work, which she kept ready for chatting hours. + +No. 3 was always willing to listen to Aunt Judy. + +He desired nothing better than to get her undivided attention, and +pour out his groans in her ear; so he sat down with a very good +grace, and proceeded to insist that there never was anything so +"slow" as "it was." + +Aunt Judy wanted to know what IT was; the place or the people, +(including herself,) or what? + +No. 3 could explain it no other way than by declaring that EVERYTHING +was slow; there was nothing to do. + +Aunt Judy maintained that there was plenty to do. + +Whereupon No. 3 said:- + +"But nothing WORTH doing." + +Whereupon Aunt Judy told No. 3 that he was just like Dr. Faustus. On +which, of course, No. 3 wanted to know what Dr. Faustus was like, and +Aunt Judy answered, that he was just like HIM, only a great deal +older and very learned. + +"Only quite different, then," suggested No. 3. + +"No," said Aunt Judy, "not QUITE different, for he came one day to +the same conclusion that you have done, namely, that there was +nothing to do, worth doing in the world." + +"_I_ don't say the world, I only say here," observed No. 3; "there's +plenty to do elsewhere, I dare say." + +"So you think, because you have not tried else where," answered Aunt +Judy. "But Dr. Faustus, who had tried elsewhere, thought everywhere +alike, and declared there was nothing worth doing anywhere, although +he had studied law, physic, divinity, and philosophy all through, and +knew pretty nearly everything." + +"Then you see he did not get much good out of learning," remarked No. +3. + +"I do see," was the reply. + +"And what became of him?" + +"Ah, that's the point," replied Aunt Judy, "and a very remarkable +point too. As soon as he got into the state of fancying there was +nothing to do, worth doing, in God's world, the evil spirit came to +him, and found him something to do in what I may, I am sure, call the +devil's world--I mean, wickedness." + +"Oh, that's a story written upon Watts's old hymn," exclaimed No. 3, +contemptuously:- + + +"'For Satan finds some mischief still, +For idle hands to do.' + + +Judy! I call that a regular 'SELL.'" + +" Not a bit of it," cried Aunt Judy, warmly; "I don't suppose the man +who wrote the story ever saw Watts's hymns, or intended to teach +anything half as good. It's mamma's moral. She told me she had +screwed it out of the story, though she doubted whether it was meant +to be there." + +"And what's the rest of the story then?" inquired No. 3, whose +curiosity was aroused. + +"Well! when the old Doctor found the world as it was, so 'SLOW,' as +you very unmeaningly call it, he took to conjuring and talking with +evil spirits by way of amusement; and then they easily persuaded him +to be wicked, merely because it gave him something fresh and exciting +to do." + +"Watts's hymn again! I told you so!" exclaimed No. 3. "But the +story's all nonsense from beginning to end. Nobody can conjure, or +talk to evil spirits in reality, so the whole thing is impossible; +and where you find the moral, I don't know." + +No. 3 leant back and yawned as he concluded. + +He was rather disappointed that nothing more entertaining had come +out of the story of Dr. Faustus. + +But Aunt Judy had by no means done. + +"Impossible about conjuring and actually TALKING to evil spirits, +certainly," said she; "but spiritual influences, both bad and good, +come to us all, No. 3, without bodily communion; so for those who are +inclined to feel like Dr. Faustus, there is both a moral and a +warning in his fate." + +"I don't know what about," cried No. 3. "I think he was uncommonly +stupid, after all he had learnt, to get into such a mess. Why, you +yourself are always trying to make out that the more people labour +and learn, the more sure they are to keep out of mischief. Now then, +how do you account for the story of your friend Dr. Faustus?" + +"Because, like King Solomon, he did not labour and learn in a right +spirit, or to a right end," replied Aunt Judy. "Lord Bacon remarks +that when, after the Creation, God 'looked upon everything He had +made, behold it was VERY GOOD;' whereas when man 'turned him about,' +and took a view of the world and his own labours in it, he found that +'all' was 'vanity and vexation of spirit.' Why did he come to such a +different conclusion, do you think?" + +"I suppose because the world had got bad, before King Solomon's +time," suggested No. 3. + +"Its inhabitants had," replied Aunt Judy. "They had become subject +to sin and misery; but the world was still God's creation, and proofs +of the 'very good' which He had pronounced over it were to be found +in every direction, and even in fallen man, if Solomon had had the +sense, or rather I should say, good feeling to look for them. Ah! +No. 3, there was plenty to be learnt and done that would NOT have +ended in 'vanity and vexation of spirit' if Solomon had LEARNT in +order to trace out the glory of God, instead of establishing his own; +and if he had WORKED to create, as far as was in his power, a world +of happiness for other people, instead of seeking nothing but his own +amusement. If he had worked in the spirit of God, in short." + +"But who can?--Nobody," exclaimed No. 3. + +"Yes, everybody, who tries, can, to a certain extent," said Aunt +Judy. "It only wants the right feeling; some of the good God-like +feeling which originated the creation of a beautiful world, and +caused the contemplation of it to produce the sublime complacency +which is described, 'And God looked upon everything that He had made, +and behold it was very good.'" + +"It's a sermon, Judy," cried No. 3, half bored, yet half amused at +the notion of her preaching; "I'll set up a pulpit for you at once, +shall I?" + +"No, no, be quiet, No. 3," exclaimed Aunt Judy, "I wish you would try +and understand what I say!" + +"Well, then," said No. 3, "it appears to me that do what one might +now the world has grown bad, it would be impossible to pronounce that +'VERY GOOD,' as the result of one's work. There would always be +something miserable and unsatisfactory at the end of everything; I +mean even if one really was to look into things closely, and work for +other people's good, as you say." + +"There might be SOMETHING miserable and unsatisfactory, in the +result, certainly," answered Aunt Judy; "but that it would ALL be +'vanity and vexation of spirit' I deny. Our blessed Saviour came +into the world after it had grown bad, remember; and He worked solely +for the restoration of the 'very good,' which sin had defaced. It +was undoubtedly MISERABLE and UNSATISFACTORY that He should be +rejected by the very creatures He came to help; but when He uttered +the words 'It is finished,' the work which He had accomplished, He +might well have looked upon and called very good: very very good; +even beyond the creation, were that possible." + +"There can be no comparison between our Saviour and us," murmured No. +3. + +"No," replied his sister; "but only let people work in the same +direction, and they will have more 'profit' of their 'labour,' than +King Solomon ever owned to, who had, one fears, only learnt, in order +to be learned, and worked, to please himself. No man who employs +himself in tracing out God's footsteps IN the world, or in working in +God's spirit FOR the world, will ever find such labours end in +'vanity and vexation of spirit!' Solomon, Dr. Faustus, and the +grumblers, have only themselves to thank for their disappointment." + +"It's very curious," observed No. 3, getting up, and stretching +himself over the fire, "I mean about Solomon and Dr. Faustus. But +what can one do? What can you or I do? It's absurd to be fancying +one can do good to one's fellow-creatures." + +"Nevertheless, there is one I want you to do good to, at the present +moment," said Aunt Judy--"if it is not actually raining. Don't you +remember what despair No. 1 was in this morning, when father sent her +off on the pony in such a hurry." + +"Ah, that pony! That was just what I wanted myself," interrupted No. +3. + +"Exactly, of course," replied Aunt Judy. "But you were not the +messenger father wanted, so do not let us go all over that ground +again, pray. The fact was, No. 1 had just heard that her pet 'Tawny +Rachel' was very ill, and she wanted to go and see her, and give her +some good advice, and I am to go instead. Now No. 3, suppose you go +instead of me, and save me a wet walk?" + +No. 3, of course, began by protesting that it was not possible that +he could do any good to an old woman. Old women were not at all in +his way. He could only say, how do you do? and come away. + +Aunt Judy disputed this: she thought he could offer her some +creature comforts, and ask whether she had seen the Doctor, and what +he said, as No. 1 particularly wished to know. + +What an idea! No, no; he must decline inquiring what the Doctor +said; it would be absurd; but he could offer her something to eat. + +- And just ask if she had had the Doctor.--Well, just that, and come +away. It would not occupy many minutes. But he wished, while Aunt +Judy was about it, she had found him something rather LONGER to do! + +Aunt Judy promised to see what could be devised on his return, and +No. 3 departed. And a very happily chosen errand it was; for it +happened in this case, as it so constantly does happen, that what was +begun for other people's sake, ended in personal gratification. No. +3 went to see "Tawny Rachel," out of good-natured compliance with +Aunt Judy's request, but found an interest and amusement in the visit +itself, which he had not in the least expected. + +Ten, twenty, thirty, minutes elapsed, and he had not returned; and +when he did so at last, he burst into the house far more like an +avalanche than a young gentleman who could find "nothing to do." + +Coming in the back way, he ran into the kitchen, and told the +servants to get some hot water ready directly, for he was sure +something would be wanted. Then, passing forward, he shouted to know +where his mother was, and, having found her, entreated she would +order some comfortable, gruelly stuff or other, to be made for the +sick old woman, particularly insisting that it should have ale or +wine, as well as spice and sugar in it. + +He was positive that that was just what she ought to have! She had +said how cold she was, and how glad she should be of something to +warm her inside; and there was nobody to do anything for her at home. +What a shame it was for a poor old creature like that to be left with +only two dirty boys to look after her, and they always at play in the +street! Her daughter and husband were working out, and she sat +moaning over the fire, from pain, without anybody to care! + +* * * + +Tender-hearted and impulsive, if thoughtless, the spirit of No. 3 had +been moved within him at the spectacle of the gaunt old woman in this +hour of her lonely suffering. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" The children had called her so, from the +heroine of Mrs. Hannah More's tale, because of those dark gipsy eyes +of hers, which had formerly given such a fine expression to her +handsome but melancholy face. Melancholy, because care-worn from the +long life's struggle for daily bread, for a large indulged family, +who scarcely knew, at the day of her death, that she had worn herself +out for their sakes. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" She was one day asked by a well-meaning +shopkeeper, of whom she had purchased a few goods, WHERE SHE THOUGHT +SHE WAS GOING TO?" + +"Tawny Rachel" turned her sad eyes upon her interrogator, and made +answer:- + +"Going to? why where do you think I'm going to, but to Heaven?-- +'Deed! where do you think I'm going to, but to Heaven?" she repeated +to herself slowly, as if to recover breath; and then added, "I should +like to know who Heaven is for, if not for such as me, that have +slaved all their lives through, for other folk;" and so saying, Tawny +Rachel turned round again, and went away. + +Poor "Tawny Rachel!" The theology was imperfect enough; but so had +been her education and advantages. Yet as surely as her scrupulous, +never-failing honesty, and unmurmuring self-denial, must have been +inspired by something beyond human teaching; so surely did it prove +no difficult task to her spiritual guide, to lead her onwards to +those simple verities of the Christian Faith, which, in her case, +seemed to solve the riddle of a weary, unsatisfactory life, and, +confiding in which, the approach of death really became to her, the +advent of the Prince of Peace. + +* * * + +"But she had quite cheered up," remarked No. 3, "at the notion of +something comforting and good," and so--he had "come off at once." + +"At once!"--the exclamation came from Aunt Judy, who had entered the +room, and was listening to the account. "Why, No. 3, you must have +been there an hour at least. And nevertheless I dare say you have +forgotten about the Doctor." + +"The Doctor!" cried No. 3, laughing,--"It's the Doctor who has kept +me all this time. You never heard such fun in your life,--only he's +an awful old rascal, I must say!" + +Mamma and Aunt Judy gazed at No. 3 in bewilderment. The respectable +old village practitioner, who had superintended all the deceases in +the place for nearly half a century--to be called "an awful old +rascal" at last! What could No. 3 be thinking of? + +Certainly not of the respectable village practitioner, as he soon +explained, by describing the arrival at Tawny Rachel's cottage of a +travelling quack with a long white beard. + +"My dear No. 3!" exclaimed mamma. + +"Mother, dear, I can't help it!" cried No. 3, and proceeded to relate +that while he was sitting with the old woman, listening to the +account of her aches and pains, some one looked in at the door, and +asked if she wanted anything; but, before she could speak, remarked +how ill she seemed, and said he could give her something to do her +good. "Judy!" added No. 3, breaking suddenly off; "he looked just +like Dr. Faustus, I'm sure!" + +"Never mind about that," cried Aunt Judy. "Tell us what Tawny Rachel +said." + +"Oh, she called out that he MUST GIVE it, if she was to have it, for +she had nothing to pay for it with. I had a shilling in my pocket, +and was just going to offer it, when I recollected he would most +likely do her more harm than good. But the gentleman with the white +beard walked in immediately, set his pack down on the table, and +said, 'Then, my good woman, I SHALL give it you;' and out he brought +a bottle, tasted it before he gave it to her, and promised her that +it would cure her if she took it all." + +"My dear No. 3!" repeated mamma once more. + +"Yes, I know she can't be cured, mother, and I think she knows it +too; but still she 'TOOK IT VERY KIND,' as she called it, of him, and +asked him if he would like to 'rest him' a bit by the fire, and the +gentleman accepted the invitation; and there we all three sat, for +really I quite enjoyed seeing him, and he began to warm his hands, +remarking that the young gentleman--that was I, you know--looked very +well. Oh, Judy, I very nearly said 'Thank you, Dr. Faustus,' but I +only laughed and nodded, and really did hold my tongue; and then the +two began to talk, and it was as good as any story you ever invented, +Aunt Judy. Tawny Rachel was very inquisitive, and asked him:- + +"'You've come a long way, sir, I suppose?' + +"'Yes, ma'am; I'm a great traveller, and have been so a many years.' + +"'It's a wonder you have not settled before now.' + +"'I might have settled, ma'am, a many times.' + +"'Ah, when folks once begin wandering, they can't settle down. You +were, maybe, brought up to it.' + +"'I was brought up to something a deal better than that, ma'am.' + +"'You was, sir? It's a pity, I'm sure.' + +"'My father was physician to Queen Elizabeth, ma'am, a many years.'" + +When No. 3 arrived at this point of the dialogue, mamma and Aunt Judy +both exclaimed at once, and the former repeated once more the +expostulatory "My dear No. 3!" which delighted No. 3, who proceeded +to assure them that he had himself interrupted the travelling quack +here, by suggesting that it was Queen Charlotte he meant. + +"Old Queen Charlotte, you know, Judy, that No. 1 was telling the +children about the other day." + +But the "gentleman," as No. 3 called him, had turned very red at the +doubt thus thrown on his accuracy, and put a rather threatening croak +into his voice, as he said:- + +"Asking your pardon, young gentleman, I know what I'm saying, and it +was Queen Elizabeth, and not Charlotte nor anybody else!" + +No. 3 described that he felt it best, after this, to hold his tongue +and say no more, so Tawny Rachel put in her word, and remarked, it +was a wonder the queen hadn't made their fortunes; on which the +gentleman turned rather red again, and said that the queen did make +their fortune, but wouldn't let them keep it, for fear they should be +too great and too rich--that was it! This statement required a +little explanation, but the gentleman was ready with all particulars. +The queen used to pay his father by hundreds of pounds at a time, +because that was due to him, but being jealous of his having so much +money, she always set some one to take it away from him as he left +the place! So that was the reason why these was no fortune put by +for him after his father died, and that was the reason why he +couldn't very well settle at first, though everybody wished him to +stay, and SO he took to travelling; for his father had left him all +his secrets, and he was qualified to practise anywhere, and had cured +some thousands of sick folks up and down! + +No. 3 declared that he had not made the old man's account of himself +a bit more unconnected than it really was, and, on the whole, it +sounded very imposing to poor Tawny Rachel, who watched his departure +with a sort of respectful awe. + +No. 3 added, that not liking to disturb her faith either in the man +or the bottle, he had himself helped her to the first dose, and had +then begun to talk about the creature comforts before described, the +very mention of which seemed to cheer the old lady's heart, and to +interest her at least as much as the biography of the travelling +quack. + +"So now, mother," concluded he, "order the gruel, and we'll give +three cheers for Queen Elizabeth, and Dr. Faustus--eh, Judy? But I +do think the poor old thing ought not to take that man's poisonous +rubbish; so here's my shilling, and welcome, if you'll give some +more, and let us send for a real doctor." + +The "nothing-to-do" morning had nearly slipped away, between the +conversation with Aunt Judy, and the visit to Tawny Rachel; and when, +soon after, a friend called to take No. 3 off on a fossil hunt, and +he had to snatch a hasty morsel before his departure, he declared he +was like the poor governess in the song, who was sure to + + + "Find out, +With attention and zeal, +That she'd scarcely have time +To partake of a meal," + + +there was so much to do. "But you're a capital fellow, Judy," he +added, kissing her, "and you'll tell me a story when I come back;" +and off he ran, shutting his ears to Aunt Judy's declaration that she +only told stories to the "little ones." + +Nor would she, on his return, and during the cozy evening "nothing- +to-do" hour, consent to devote herself to his especial amusement +only. So, after arguing the point for a time, he very wisely +yielded, and declared at last that he would be a "little one" too, +and listen to a "little one's" story, if Aunt Judy would tell one. + +It was rather late when this was settled, and the little ones had +stayed up-stairs to play at a newly-invented game--bazaars--in the +nursery; but when No. 3 strode in with the announcement of the story, +there was a shout of delight, followed by the old noisy rush down- +stairs to the dining-room. + +It is not a bad thing to be a "little one" now and then in spirit. +People would do well to try and be so oftener. Who that has looked +upon a picture of himself as a "little one," has not wished that he +could be restored to the "little one's" spirit, the "little one's" +innocence, the "little one's" hopeful trust? "Of such is the kingdom +of Heaven!" And though none of us would like to live our lives over +again, lest our errors should be repeated, and so doubled in guilt, +all of us, at the sight of what we once were, would fain, very fain, +if we could, lie down to sleep, and awake a "little one" again. +Never, perhaps, is the sweet mercy of an early death brought so +closely home to our apprehension, as when the grown-up, care-worn man +looks upon the image of himself as a child. + +Happily, however--nay, more than happily, MERCIFULLY--the grown-up +man, if he do but put on the humility, may gain something of the +peace of a "little one's" heart! + +Aunt Judy had twisted up a roll of muslin for a turban on her head by +the time they came down, "for," said she, "this is to be an eastern +tale, and I shall not be inspired--that is to say, I shall not get on +a bit--unless there is a costume and manners to correspond, so you +three little ones squat yourselves down Turkish-fashion on the floor, +with your legs tucked under you. There now! that's something like, +and I begin to feel myself in the East. Nevertheless, I am rather +glad there is no critical Eastern traveller at hand, listening +through the key-hole to my blunders. + +However, errors excepted, here is the wonderful story of + + +'THE KING OF THE HILLS AND HIS FOUR SONS.' + + +"A great many years ago, in a country which cannot be traced upon the +maps, but which lies somewhere between the great rivers Indus and +Euphrates, lived Schelim, King of the Hills. + +"His riches were unlimited, his palaces magnificent, and his dresses +and jewels of the most costly description. He never condescended to +wear a diamond unless it was inconveniently large for his fingers, +and the fiery opals which adorned his turban (like those in the +mineral-room at the British Museum) shimmered and blazed in such a +surprising manner, that people were obliged to lower their eyes +before the light of them. + +"Powerful as well as rich, King Schelim could have anything in the +world he wished for, but--such is the perversity of human nature--he +cared very little for anything except smoking his pipe; of which, to +say the truth, he was so fond, that he would have been well contented +to have done nothing else all day long. It seemed to him the nearest +approach to the sublimest of all ideas of human happiness--the having +NOTHING TO DO. + +"He caused his four sons to be brought up in luxurious ease, his wish +for them being, that they should remain ignorant of pain and sorrow +for as long a period of their lives as was possible. So he built a +palace for them, at the summit of one of his beautiful hills, where +nothing disagreeable or distressing could ever meet their eyes, and +he gave orders to their attendants, that they should never be +thwarted in anything. + +"Every wish of their hearts, therefore, was gratified from their baby +days; but so far from being in consequence the happiest, they were +the most discontented children in his dominions. + +"From the first year of their birth, King Schelim had never been able +to smoke his pipe in peace. There were always messages coming from +the royal nursery to the smoking-room, asking for something fresh for +the four young princes, who were, owing to some mysterious cause, +incapable of enjoying any of their luxurious indulgences for more +than a few hours together. + +"At first these incessant demands for one thing or another for the +children, surprised and annoyed their papa considerably, but by +degrees he got used to it, and took the arrival of the messengers as +a matter of course. + +"The very nurses began it:- + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--are tired of +their jewelled rattles, and have thrown them on the floor. Doubtless +they would like India-rubber rings with bells better.' + +"'Then get them India-rubber rings with bells,' was all King Schelim +said, and turned to his pipe again. + +"And so it went on perpetually, until one day it came to, - + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--have thrown +their hobbyhorses into the river, and want to have live ponies +instead.' + +"At the first moment the king gave his usual answer, 'Then get them +live ponies instead,' from a sort of mechanical habit, but the words +were scarcely uttered when he recalled them. This request awoke even +his sleepy soul out of its smoke-dream, and inquiring into the ages +of his sons, and finding that they were of years to learn as well as +to ride, he dismissed their nurses, placed them in the hands of +tutors, and procured for them the best masters of every description. + +"'For,' said he, 'what saith the proverb? "Kings govern the earth, +but wise men govern kings." My sons shall be wise as well as kingly, +and then they can govern themselves.' + +"And after settling this so cleverly, King Schelim resumed his pipe, +in the confident hope, that now, at last, he should smoke it in +peace. + +"'For,' said he, 'when my sons shall become wise through learning, +they will be more moderate in their desires.' + +"I do not know whether his Majesty's incomparable sons relished this +change from nurses to tutors, but on that particular point they were +allowed no choice; so if they bemoaned themselves in their palace on +the hill, their father knew nothing of it. + +"And to soften the disagreeableness of the restraint which learning +imposes, King Schelim gave more strict orders than ever, that, +provided the young gentlemen only learnt their lessons well, every +whim that came into their heads should be complied with soon as +expressed. + +"In spite of all his ingenious arrangements, however, the royal +father did not enjoy the amount of repose he expected. All was quiet +enough during lesson-hours, it is true; but as soon as ever that +period had elapsed, the young princes became as restless as ever. +Nay--the older they grew, the more they wanted, and the less pleased +they became with what was granted. + +"From very early days of the tutorship, the old story began:- + +"'May it please your Majesty, the young princes, your Majesty's +incomparable sons--may their shadows never be less!--are tired of +their ponies, and want horses instead.' + +"The king was a little disappointed at this, and actually laid down +his pipe to talk. + +"'Is anything the matter with the ponies?' he asked. + +"'May it please your Majesty, no; only that your incomparable sons +call them SLOW.' + +"'Spirited lads!' thought the king, quite consoled, and gave the +answer as usual:- + +"'Then get them horses instead.' But when only a few days afterwards +he was informed that his incomparable sons had wearied of their +horses, because they also were 'slow,' and wished to ride on +elephants instead, his Majesty began to feel disturbed in mind, and +wonder what would come next, and how it was that the teaching of the +tutors did not make his sons more moderate in their desires. + +"'Nevertheless,' said he, 'what saith the proverb, "Thou a man, and +lackest patience?" And again, + + +"Early ripe, early rotten, +Early wise, soon forgotten." + + +My sons are but children yet.' + +"After which reflection he returned to his pipe as before, and +disturbed himself as little as possible, when messenger after +messenger arrived, to announce the fresh vagaries of the young +princes. + +"It is impossible to enumerate all the luxuries, amusements, and +delights, they asked for, obtained, and wearied of during several +years. But the longer it went on, the more hardened and indifferent +their father became. + +"'For,' said he, 'what saith the proverb? "The longest lane turns at +last." At last my sons will have everything man can wish for, and +then they will cease from asking, and I shall smoke my pipe in +peace.' + +"One day, however, the messenger entered the royal smoking-room in a +greater hurry than ever, and was about to commence his usual +elaborate peroration respecting the incomparable sons, when his +Majesty held up his hand to stop him, and called out:- + +"'What is it now?' + +"'May it please your Majesty, your Majesty's in--' + +"'What is it they WANT?' cried the king, interrupting him. + +"'May it please your Majesty, SOMETHING TO DO.' + +"'Something to do?' repeated the perplexed king of the hills; +'something to do, when half the riches of my empire have been +expended upon providing them with the means of doing everything in +the world that was delightful to the soul of man? + +"'Surely, oh son of a dog, thou art laughing at my beard, to come to +me with such a message from my sons.' + +"'Nevertheless, may it please your Majesty, I have spoken but the +truth. Your Majesty's in--' + +"'Hush with that nonsense,' interrupted the king. + +"'Your Majesty's sons, in fact, then, have sickened and pined for +three mortal days, because they have got NOTHING TO DO.' + +"'Now, then, my sons are mad!' exclaimed poor King Schelim, laying +down his pipe, and rising from his recumbent position; 'and it is +time that I bestir myself.' + +"And thereupon he summoned his attendants, and sent for the royal +Hakim, that is to say, physician; and the most learned and +experienced Dervish, that is to say, religious teacher of the +neighbourhood. + +"'For,' said he, 'who knows whether this sickness is of the body or +the soul?' + +"And having explained to them how he had brought up his children, the +indulgences with which he had surrounded them, the learning which he +had had instilled into them, and the way in which he had preserved +them from every annoying sight and sound, he concluded:- + +"'What more could I have done for the happiness of my children than I +have done, and how is it that their reason has departed from them, so +that they are at a loss for something to do? Speak one or other of +you and explain.' + +"Then the Dervish stepped forward, and opening his mouth, began to +make answer. + +"'And,' said he, 'oh King of the Hills, in the bringing up of thy +sons, surely thou hast forgotten the proverb which saith, "He that +would know good manners, let him learn them from him who hath them +not." For even so may the wise man say of happiness, "He that would +know he is happy, must learn it from him who is not." But again, +doth not another proverb say, "Will thy candle burn less brightly for +lighting mine?" Wherefore the happiness which a man has, when he has +discovered it, he is bound to impart to those that have it not. Have +I spoken well?' + +"Then King and the Hakim declared he had spoken remarkably well; +nevertheless I am by no means sure that King Schelim knew what he +meant. Whereupon the Dervish offered to go at once to the four +incomparable princes, and cure them of their madness in supposing +they had nothing to do, and King Schelim in great delight, and +thoroughly glad to be rid of the trouble, told him that he placed his +sons entirely in his hands; then taking him aside, he addressed to +him a parting word in confidence. + +"'Thou knowest, oh wise Dervish, that I have had no education myself, +and therefore, as the proverb hath it, "To say I DON'T KNOW, is the +comfort of my life," yet what better is a learned man than a fool, if +he comes but to this conclusion at last? See thou restore wisdom and +something to do to the souls of my sons.' + +"Which the Dervish promised to accomplish, accordingly in company +with the Hakim, he betook himself to the palace of the four princes, +his Majesty's incomparable sons. + +"Well, in spite of all they had heard, both the Dervish and Hakim +were surprised at what they really found at the palace of the four +princes. + +"It was as if everything that human ingenuity could devise for the +gratification, amusement, and occupation both of body and mind had +been here brought together. Horses, elephants, chariots, creatures +of every description, for hunting, riding, driving, and all sorts of +sport were there, countless in numbers, and perfect in kind. +Gardens, pleasure-grounds, woods, flowers, birds, and fountains, to +delight the eye and ear; while within the palace were sources of +still deeper enjoyment. The songs of the poets and the wisdom of the +ancients reposed there upon golden shelves. Musicians held +themselves in readiness to pour exquisite melodies upon the air; +games, exercises, in-door sports in every variety could be commanded +in a moment, and attendants waited in all directions to fulfil their +young masters' will. + +"The poor old Dervish and Hakim looked at each other in fresh +amazement at every step they took, and neither of them could find a +proverb to fit so extraordinary a case. + +"At last, after a long walk through chambers and anti-chambers +without end, hung round with mirrors and ornaments, they reached the +apartment of the young princes, where they found the four +incomparable creatures lounging on four ottomans, sighing their +hearts out, because they had 'nothing to do.' + +"As the door opened, the eldest prince glanced languidly round, and +inquired if the messenger had returned from their father, and being +answered that the Dervish and Hakim, who now stood before him, were +messengers from their father, he called out to know if the old +gentleman had sent them anything to do! + +"'The king, your father's spirit is disturbed with anxiety,' answered +the Dervish, 'lest some sudden calamity should have deprived his sons +of the use of their limbs or their senses, or lest their attendants +should have failed to provide them with everything the earth affords +delightful to the soul of man.' + +"'The king, our father's spirit is disturbed with smoke,' replied the +eldest prince, 'or he never would have sent such an old fellow as you +with such an answer as that. What's the use of the use of one's +limbs, or one's senses, or all the earth affords delightful to the +soul of man, if we're sick of it all? Just go back and tell him +we've got everything, and are sick of everything, and can do +everything, and don't care to do anything, because everything is so +'slow;' so we will trouble him to find us something fresh to do. +There! is that clear enough, old gentleman?' + +"'The king, your father,' answered the Dervish, 'has provided against +even that emergency; I am come to tell you of something fresh to see +and to do.' + +"No sooner had the Dervish uttered these words, than the four princes +jumped up from the ottoman in the most lively and vigorous manner, +and clamoured to know what it was, expressing their hope that it was +a 'jolly lark.' + +"In answer to which the Dervish, lifting himself up in a commanding +manner, stretched out his arm, and exclaimed, in a solemn voice:- + +"'Young men, you have exhausted happiness. Nothing new remains in +the world for you, but misery and want. Follow me!' + +"There was something so unusual about the tone of this address, and +it was uttered in so imposing a manner, that the young princes were, +as it were, taken by storm, and they followed the Dervish and Hakim, +without a word of inquiry or objection. + +"And he led them away from the palace on the beautiful hill--away +from all the sights and sounds that were collected together there to +delight the soul of man with both bodily and intellectual enjoyment-- +down into the city in the valley, among the close-packed habitations +of common men, congregated there to labour, and just exist, and then +die. + +"And presently the Dervish and the Hakim spoke together, and then the +Hakim led the way through a gloomy by-street, till he came to a +habitation into which he entered, and the rest followed without a +word. And there, stretched upon a pallet, wasted and worn with pain, +lay a youth scarcely older than the young princes themselves, the +lower part of whose body was wrapped round with bandages, and who was +unable to move. + +"The Hakim proceeded at once to unloosen the fastenings, and to +examine the limbs of the sufferer. They had been crushed by a +frightful accident, while working for his daily bread, in the +quarries of marble near the palace on the hill. + +"'Is there no hope, my father?' he ejaculated in agony as the bruised +thighs were exposed to the light, revealing a spectacle from which +the princes turned horrified away. + +"But the Dervish stood between them and the door, and motioned them +back. + +"'Is there no hope?' repeated the youth. 'Shall I never again tread +the earth in the freedom of health and strength? never again climb +the mountain-side to taste the sweet breath of heaven? never again +even step across this narrow room, to look forth into the narrow +street?' + +"Sobs of distress here broke from the speaker; and, covering his face +with his hands, he awaited the Hakim's reply. But while the latter +bent down to whisper his answer, the Dervish addressed himself to the +trembling princes:- + + "'Learn here, at last,' said he, 'the value of those limbs, the +power of using which you look upon with such thankless indifference. +As it is with this youth to-day, so may it be with you to-morrow, if +the decree goes forth from on high. Bid me not again return to your +father to tell him you are weary of a blessing, the loss of which +would overwhelm you with despair.' + +"The young princes," continued Aunt Judy, were, as their father had +said, but children yet; that is to say, although they were fourteen +or fifteen years old, they were childish, in not having reflected or +learnt to reason. But they were not hard-hearted at bottom. Their +tenderness for others had never been called out during their life of +self-indulgence, but the sight of this young man's condition, whom +they personally knew as one who had at times been permitted to come +up and join in their games, over-powered them with dismay. + +"They entreated the Hakim to say if nothing could be done, and when +he told them that a nurse, and better food, and the discourse of a +wise companion, were all essential for the recovery of the patient, +there was not, to say the truth, one among them who was not ready +with promises of assistance, and even offers of personal help. + +"And now, bidding adieu to this youthful sufferer, whose distress +seemed to receive a sudden calm from the sympathy the young princes +betrayed, the Hakim led the way to another part of the town, where he +entered a house of rather better description, in a small room of +which they found a pale, middle-aged man, who was engaged in making a +coarse sort of netting for trees. Hearing the noise of the entrance, +he looked up, and asked who it was, but with no change of +countenance, or apparent recognition of anyone there. But as soon as +the Hakim had uttered the words 'It is I,' a gleam of delight stole +over the pale face, and the man, rising from his chair, stretched out +his arms to the Hakim, entreating him to approach. + +"And then the young princes saw that the pale man was blind. + +"'Is there any change, oh Cassian?' inquired the Hakim, kindly. + +"'None, my father,' answered the blind man, in a subdued tone. 'But +shall I murmur at what is appointed? Surely not in vain was the +privilege granted me, of transcribing the manuscripts which repose on +the golden shelves in the palace of the royal princes. Surely not in +vain did I gather, from the treasures of ancient wisdom, and the +divine songs of the poets, sources of consolation for the suffering +children of men.' + +"'And has anyone been of late to read to you?' asked the Hakim. + +"But this inquiry the blind man seemed scarcely able to answer. Big +tears gathered into the sightless eyes, and folding his hands across +his bosom, he murmured out:- + +"'None, oh my father. Not to everyone is it permitted to trace the +characters of light in which the wise have recorded their wisdom. I +alone of my family knew the secret. I alone suffer now. But shall I +not submit to this also with a cheerful spirit? It is written, and +it behoves me to submit.' + +"And, with tears streaming over his cheeks, the blind man took up the +netting which he had laid aside, and forced himself to the work. + +"'Seest thou!' exclaimed the Dervish, turning to the prince who stood +next him, apparently absorbed in contemplating the scene. 'Seest +thou how precious are the powers thou hast wearied of in the spring- +time of life? How dear are the opportunities thou hast not cared to +delight in? Bid me not again return to the king, your father, to +tell him his sons can find no pleasure in blessings, the deprivation +of which they themselves would feel to be the shutting out of the sun +from the soul.' + +"Then the young prince to whom the Dervish addressed himself, wept +bitterly, and begged to be allowed to visit the blind man from time +to time, and read to him out of the manuscripts that reposed on the +golden shelves in the palace on the hill; and which, he now learnt +for the first time, had been transcribed for his use, and that of his +brothers, by the skill of the sufferer before him. + +"And when the blind man clasped his hands over his head, and would +have prostrated himself on the ground, in gratitude to him who spoke, +asking who the charitable pitier of the afflicted could be, the +prince embraced him as if he had been his brother, forced him back +gently into his seat, and bidding him await him at that hour on the +morrow, followed the Hakim from the house. + +"And now the Dervish and Hakim spoke together once again, and the +place they visited next was of a very different description. + +"Enclosed within walls, and limited in extent, because in the +outskirts of a populous town, the garden into which they presently +entered, was--though but as a drop in comparison with the ocean--no +unworthy rival of the gorgeous pleasure-grounds of the palace. +There, too, the roses unfolded themselves in their glory to the sun, +tiny fountains scattered their cooling spray around, and singing- +birds, suspended on overshadowing trees, of this scene of miniature +beauty a venerable was perceived, seated under the shadow of an +arbour, in front of a table on which were scattered manuscripts, +papers, parchments, and dried plants, and in one corner of which were +laid a set of tablets and writing materials. + +"Although the door by which they entered had fallen to, with a noise +as they passed through, the old man did not seem to be aware of it, +nor did he notice their presence until they came so near, that their +shadows fell on some of the papers on the table. Then, indeed, he +looked suddenly up, and with a smile and gesture of delight, bade +them welcome. + +"It was not difficult to divine that the old man had lost the sense +of hearing, and the Dervish, taking up the tablets from the table, +wrote upon them the following words, which he showed to the young +princes, before presenting them to him for whom they were intended:- + +"'Hast thou not wearied yet, oh brother, of thy narrow garden, and +the ever-recurring succession of flowers, and thy study of the +secrets of Nature?' + +"Whereat the deaf man smiled again, and wrote upon the tablets:- + +"'Can anyone weary of tracing out the skilful providence of the +Divine Mind? Is it not a world within a world, oh my brother, and +inexhaustible in itself?' + +"The youngest prince pressed forward to read the answer, and having +read it, turned to the Dervish, and said, 'Ask him why the singing- +birds are suspended in the garden, whose voices he cannot hear.' + +"'Write on the tablet, my son,' said the Dervish; and when he had +written it, the old man answered, in the same manner as before:- + +"'I would remember my infirmity, my son, lest my soul should be tied +to the beauties of the visible world, but now when I see the +twittering bills of the feathered songsters, I remember that one +sense has departed, and that the others must follow; and I prepare +myself for death, trusting that those who have rejoiced in the Divine +Mind--however imperfectly--here, may rejoice yet more hereafter, when +no sense or power shall be wanting!' + +"After this, the venerable old man led them to a secluded corner of +the garden, where his young son was instructing one portion of a +class of children from the secrets of his father's manuscripts, while +another set of youngsters were engaged in cultivating flowers, by +regular instruction and rule. Many a bright, cheerful face looked up +at the old man and his visitors as they passed, but no one seemed to +wish to leave his work, or his lesson, or the kind young tutor who +ruled among them. + +"'We have wasted our lives, oh my father!' exclaimed the young +princes, as they passed from this sight. 'Tell us, may we not come +back again here, to learn true wisdom from this man and his son?' + +"Having obtained the old man's willing consent to his, the Hakim +retiring conducted his companions back into the streets; and the +young princes, whose eyes were now opened to the instruction they +were receiving, came up to the Dervish, and said:- + +"'Oh, wise Dervish, we have learnt the lesson you would teach, and we +know now that it is but a folly, and a mockery, and a lie, when a man +says that he has nothing to do. There is enough to do for all men, +if their minds are directed right! Have I not spoken well?' + +"'Thou hast spoken well according to thy knowledge,' answered the +Dervish, 'but thou hast yet another lesson to learn.' + +"The prince was silenced, and the Dervish and Hakim hurried forward +to a still different part of the city, where several trades were +carried on, and where in one place they came upon an open square, +about which a number of gaunt, wild-looking men, were lounging or +sitting; unoccupied, listless, and sad. + +"'This is wrong, my father, is it not?' inquired one of the princes; +but the Dervish, instead of answering him, addressed a man who was +standing somewhat apart from the others, and inquired why he was +loitering there in idleness, instead of occupying himself in some +honest manner? + +"The man laughed a bitter mocking laugh, and turning to his +companions, shouted out, 'Hear what the wise man asks! When trade +has failed, and no one wants our labour, he asks us why we stand +idling here!' Then, facing the Dervish, he continued, 'Do you not +know, can you not see, oh teacher of the blind, that we have got +NOTHING TO DO?--NOTHING TO DO!' he repeated with a loud cry--'NOTHING +TO DO! with hearts willing to work, and hands able to work,'--(here +he stretched out his bared, muscular arm to the Dervish,)--'and wife +and children calling out for food! Give us SOMETHING TO DO, thou +preacher of virtue and industry,' he concluded, throwing himself on +the ground in anguish; 'or, at any rate, cease to mock us with the +solemn inquiry of a fool.' + +"'Oh, my father, my father,' cried the young princes, pressing +forward, 'this is the worst, the very worst of all! All things can +be borne, but this dire reality of having NOTHING TO DO. Let us find +them something to do. Let us tear up our gardens, plough up our +lawns, and pleasure-grounds, so that we do but find work for these +men, and save their children and wives from hunger.' + +"'And themselves from crime,' added the Dervish solemnly. Then +quitting his companions, he went into the crowd of men, and made +known to them in a few hurried words, that, by the order of their +young princes, there would, before another day had dawned, be +something found to do for them all. + +"The cheer of gratitude which followed this announcement, thrilled +through the heart of those who had been enabled to offer the boon, +and so overpowered them, that, after a liberal distribution of coin +to the necessitous labourers, they gladly hurried away. + +"'Now my task is ended,' cried the Dervish, as they retraced their +steps to the palace on the hill. 'My sons, you have seen the sacred +sorrow which may attach to the bitter complaint of having NOTHING TO +DO. Henceforth seal your lips over the words, for, in all other +cases but this, they are, as you yourselves have said, a folly, a +mockery, and a lie.' + +"It is scarcely necessary to add," continued Aunt Judy, "that the +young princes returned to the palace in a very different state of +mind from that in which they left it. They had now so many things to +do in prospect, so much to plan and inquire about, that when the +night closed upon them, they wondered how the day had gone, and +grudged the necessary hours of sleep. But on the morrow, just as +they were eagerly recommencing their left-off consultations, the +Dervish appeared among them, and suggested that their first duty +still remained unthought of. + +"The incomparable sons were now really surprised, for they had been +flattering themselves they were most laudably employed. But the +Dervish reminded them, that, although their duty to mankind in +general was great, their duty to their father in particular was yet +greater, and that it behoved them to set his mind at rest, by +assuring him, that henceforth they would not prevent him from smoking +his pipe in peace, by restless discontent, and disturbing messages +and wants. + +"To this the young princes readily agreed, and thoroughly ashamed, on +reflection, of the years of harass with which they, in their +thoughtless ingratitude, had worried poor King Schelim, they repaired +to his presence, and without entering into unnecessary explanations, +(which he would not have understood,) assured him that they were +perfectly happy, that they had got plenty to do, as well as +everything to enjoy, that they were very sorry they had tormented him +for so long a period of his life, but that they begged to be +forgiven, and would never do so again! + +"King Schelim was uncommonly pleased with what they said, although he +had to lay down his pipe for a few minutes to receive their +salutations, and give his in return; after which they returned to +their palace on the hill, and led thenceforward useful, intelligent, +and therefore happy lives, reforming grievances, consoling sorrows, +and taking particular care that everybody had the opportunity of +having SOMETHING TO DO. + +"And as they never again disturbed their father King Schelim, with +foolish messages, he smoked his pipe in peace to the end of his +days." + +"Nice old Schelim!" observed No. 8, when Aunt Judy's pause showed +that the story was done. A conclusion which made the other little +ones laugh; but now Aunt Judy spoke again. + +"You like the story, all of you?" + +Could there be a doubt about it? No! "Schelim, King of the Hills, +and his four sons," was one of Aunt Judy's very, very, very, best +inventions. But they had the happy knack of always thinking so of +the last they heard. + +"And yet there is a flaw in it," said Aunt Judy. + +"Aunt Judy!" exclaimed several voices at once, in a tone of +expostulation. + +"Yes; I mean in the moral:" pursued she, "there is no Christianity in +the teaching, and therefore it is not perfect, although it is all +very good as far as it goes." + +"But they were eastern people, and I suppose Mahometans or Brahmins," +suggested No. 4. + +"Exactly; and, therefore, I could not give them Christian principles; +and, therefore, although I have made my four princes turn out very +well, and do what was right, for the rest of their lives (as I had a +right to do); yet it is only proper I should explain, that I do not +believe any people can be DEPENDED UPON for doing right, except when +they live upon Christian principles, and are helped by the grace of +God, to fulfil His will, as revealed to us by His Son Jesus Christ. + +"Certainly it is always more REASONABLE to do right than wrong, even +when the wrong may seem most pleasant at the moment; because, as all +people of sense know, doing right is most for their own happiness, as +well as for everybody else's, even in this world. + +"But although the knowledge of this may influence us when we are in a +sober enough state of mind to think about it calmly, the inducement +is not a sufficiently strong one to be relied upon as a safe-guard, +when storms of passion and strong temptations come upon us. In such +cases it very often goes for nothing, and then it is a perfect chance +which way a person acts. + +"Even in the matter of doing good to others, we need the Christian +principle as our motive, or we may be often tempted to give it up, or +even to be as cruel at some moments, as we are kind at others. It is +very pleasant, no doubt, to do good, and be charitable, when the +feeling comes into the heart, but the mere pleasure is apt to cease, +if we find people thankless or stupid, and that our labours seem to +have been in vain. And what a temptation there is, then, to turn +away in disgust, unless we are acting upon Christ's commands, and can +bear in mind, that even when the pleasure ends, the duty remains. + +"And now," said Aunt Judy in conclusion, "a kiss for the story-teller +all round, if you please. She has had an invitation, and is going +from home to-morrow." + +"Oh, Aunt Judy!" ejaculated the little ones, in not the most cheerful +of tones. + +"Well," cried Aunt Judy, looking at them and laughing, "you don't +mean to say that you will not find PLENTY TO DO, and PLENTY TO ENJOY +while I am away? Come, I mean to write to you all by turns, and I +shall inquire in my letters whether you have remembered, TO YOUR +EDIFICATION, the story of Schelim, King of the Hills, and his four +sons." + + + +Footnotes: + +{1} "Weide," pasture, grass. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, AUNT JUDY'S TALES *** + +This file should be named ajtl10.txt or ajtl10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, ajtl11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, ajtl10a.txt + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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