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-The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Infidel, by M. E. (Mary Elizabeth) Braddon
-
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-
-Title: The Infidel
- A Story of the Great Revival
-
-
-Author: M. E. (Mary Elizabeth) Braddon
-
-
-
-Release Date: December 12, 2015 [eBook #50676]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
-
-
-***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INFIDEL***
-
-
-E-text prepared by Clare Graham & Marc D'Hooghe
-(http://www.freeliterature.org) from page images generously made available
-by Internet Archive (https://archive.org)
-
-
-
-Note: Images of the original pages are available through
- Internet Archive. See
- https://archive.org/details/infidelstoryofgr00brad
-
-
-
-
-
-THE INFIDEL
-
-A Story of the Great Revival
-
-by
-
-M. E. BRADDON
-
-Author of "Lady Audley's Secret," "Vixen,"
-"London Pride," etc._
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-London
-Simpkin, Marshall, Hamilton, Kent & Co. Ltd.
-1900
-
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS.
-
-
- CHAPTER I.
- GRUB-STREET SCRIBBLERS
-
- CHAPTER II.
- MISS LESTER, OF THE PATENT THEATRES
-
- CHAPTER III.
- AT MRS. MANDALAY'S ROOMS
-
- CHAPTER IV.
- A MORNING CALL
-
- CHAPTER V.
- A SERIOUS FAMILY
-
- CHAPTER VI.
- A WOMAN WHO COULD SAY NO
-
- CHAPTER VII.
- PRIDE CONQUERS LOVE
-
- CHAPTER VIII.
- THE LOVE THAT FOLLOWS THE DEAD
-
- CHAPTER IX.
- THE SANDS RUN DOWN
-
- CHAPTER X.
- A DUTY VISIT
-
- CHAPTER XI.
- ANTONIA'S INITIATION
-
- CHAPTER XII.
- "SO RUN THAT YE MAY OBTAIN"
-
- CHAPTER XIII.
- IN ST. JAMES'S SQUARE
-
- CHAPTER XIV.
- "ONE THREAD IN LIFE WORTH SPINNING"
-
- CHAPTER XV.
- "MY LADY AND MY LOVE"
-
- CHAPTER XVI.
- DEATH AND VICTORY
-
- CHAPTER XVII.
- SWORD AND BIBLE
-
- CHAPTER XVIII.
- "AS A GRAIN OF MUSTARD SEED"
-
- CHAPTER XIX.
- "CHOOSE OF TWO LOVERS"
-
- CHAPTER XX.
- "AND CLEAVE UNTO THE BEST"
-
- EPILOGUE.
-
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-
-GRUB-STREET SCRIBBLERS.
-
-
-Father and daughter worked together at the trade of letters in the days
-when George the Second was king and Grub Street was a reality. For
-them literature was indeed a trade, since William Thornton wrote only
-what the booksellers wanted, and adjusted the supply to the demand. No
-sudden inspirations, no freaks of a vagabond fancy ever distracted him
-from the question of bread and cheese; so many sides of letter-paper
-to produce so many pounds. He wrote everything. He contributed verse
-as well as prose to the _Gentleman's Magazine_, and had been the
-winner of one of those prizes which the liberal Mr. Cave offered for
-the best poem sent to him. Nothing came amiss to his facile pen. In
-politics he was strong--on either side. He could write for or against
-any measure, and had condemned and applauded the same politicians in
-fiery articles above different aliases, anticipating by the vehemence
-of his phrases the coming guineas. He wrote history or natural history
-for the instruction of youth, not so well as Goldsmith, but with a
-glib directness that served. He wrote philosophy for the sick-bed of
-old age, and romance to feed the dreams of lovers. He stole from the
-French, the Spaniards, the Italians, and turned Latin epigrams into
-English jests. He burnt incense before any altar, and had written much
-that was base and unworthy when the fancy of the town set that way, and
-a ribald pen was at a premium. He had written for the theatres with
-fair success, and his manuscript sermons at a crown apiece found a
-ready market.
-
-Yes, Mr. Thornton wrote sermons--he, the unfrocked priest, the
-audacious infidel, who believed in nothing better than this earth upon
-which he and his kindred worms were crawling; nothing to come after
-the tolling bell, no recompense for sorrows here, no reunion with the
-beloved dead--only the sexton and the spade, and the forgotten grave.
-
-It was eighteen years since his young wife had died and left him with
-an infant daughter--this very Antonia, his stay and comfort now, his
-indefatigable helper, his Mercury, tripping with light foot between his
-lodgings and the booksellers or the newspaper offices, to carry his
-copy, or to sue for a guinea or two in advance for work to be done.
-
-When his wife died he was curate-in-charge of a remote Lincolnshire
-parish, not twenty miles from that watery region at the mouth of the
-Humber, that Epworth which John Wesley's renown had glorified. Here in
-this lonely place, after two years of widowhood, a great trouble had
-fallen upon him. He always recurred to it with the air of a martyr, and
-pitied himself profoundly, as one more sinned against than sinning.
-
-A farmer's daughter, a strapping wench of eighteen, had induced him to
-elope with her. This Adam ever described Eve as the initiator of his
-fall.
-
-They went to London together, meaning to sail for Jersey in a trading
-smack, which left the docks for that fertile island twice in a month.
-The damsel was of years of discretion, and the elopement was no felony;
-but it happened awkwardly for the parson that she carried her father's
-cash-box with her, containing some two hundred pounds, upon which Mr.
-Thornton was to start a dairy farm. They were hotly pursued by the
-infuriated father, and were arrested in London as they were stepping on
-board the Jersey smack, and Thornton was caught with the cash on his
-person.
-
-He swore he believed it to be the girl's money; and she swore she had
-earned it in her father's dairy--that, for saving, 'twas she had saved
-every penny of it. This plea lightened the sentence, but did not acquit
-either prisoner. The girl was sent to Bridewell for a year, and the
-parson was sentenced to five years' imprisonment; but by the advocacy
-of powerful friends, and by the help of a fine manner, an unctuous
-piety, and general good conduct, was restored to the world at the end
-of the second year--a happy escape in an age when the gifted Dr. Dodd
-died for a single slip of the pen, and when the pettiest petty larceny
-meant hanging.
-
-Having bored himself to death by an assumed sanctimony for two years,
-Thornton came out of the house of bondage a rank atheist, a scoffer at
-all things holy, a scorner of all men who called themselves Christians.
-To him they seemed as contemptible as he had felt himself in his
-hypocrisy. Did any of them believe? Yes, the imbeciles and hysterical
-women, the ignorant masses who fifty years ago had believed in
-witchcraft and the ubiquitous devil as implicitly as they now believed
-in Justification by Faith and the New Birth. But that men of brains--an
-intellectual giant like Sam Johnson, for instance--could kneel in dusty
-city churches Sunday after Sunday and search the Scriptures for the
-promise of life immortal! Pah! What could Voltaire, the enlightened,
-think of such a time-serving hypocrisy, except that the thing paid?
-
-"It pays, sir," said Thornton, when he and his little knot of friends
-discussed the great dictionary-maker in a tavern parlour which they
-called "The Portico," and which they fondly hoped to make as famous
-as the Scribbler's Club, which Swift founded, and where he and Oxford
-and Bolingbroke, Pope, Gay, and Arbuthnot talked grandly of abstract
-things. The talk in "The Portico" was ever of persons, and mostly
-scandalous, the gangrene of envy devouring the minds of men whose lives
-had been failures.
-
-The wife of Thornton's advocate, who was well off and childless,
-had taken compassion on the sinner's three-year-old daughter, and
-had carried the little Antonia to her cottage at Windsor, where the
-child was well cared for by the old housekeeper who had charge of the
-barrister's rural retreat. It was a cottage _orne_ in a spacious garden
-adjoining Windsor Forest, and to-day, in her twentieth year, Antonia
-looked back upon that lost paradise with a fond longing. She had often
-urged her father to take her to see the kind friend whose bright young
-face she sometimes saw in her dreams, the very colour of whose gowns
-she remembered; but he always put her off with an excuse. The advocate
-had risen to distinction; he and his wife were fine people now, and Mr.
-Thornton would not exhibit his shabby gentility in any such company.
-He had been grateful for so beneficent a service at the time of his
-captivity, and had expatiated upon his thankfulness on three sides of
-letter-paper, blotted with real tears; but his virtues were impulses
-rather than qualities of the mind, and he had soon forgotten how much
-he owed the K.C.'s tender-hearted wife. Providence had been good to
-her, as to the mother of Samuel, and she had sons and daughters of her
-own now.
-
-Antonia knew that her father had been in prison. He was too
-self-compassionate to refrain from bewailing past sufferings, and too
-lazy-brained to originate and sustain any plausible fiction to account
-for those two years in which his child had not seen his face. But he
-had been consistently reticent as to the offence which he had expiated,
-and Antonia supposed it to be of a political nature--some Jacobite plot
-in which he had got himself entangled.
-
-From her sixth year to her seventeenth she had been her father's
-companion, at first his charge--and rather an onerous one, as it seemed
-to the hack-scribbler--a charge to be shared with, and finally shunted
-on to the shoulders of, any good-natured landlady who, in her own
-parlance, took to the child.
-
-Thornton was so far considerate of parental duty that, having found
-an honest and kindly matron in Rupert Buildings, St. Martin's Lane,
-he left off shifting his tent, and established himself for life, as
-he told her, on her second floor, and confided the little girl almost
-wholly to her charge. She had one daughter five years older than
-Antonia, who was at school all day, leaving the basement of the house
-silent and empty of youthful company, and Mrs. Potter welcomed the
-lovely little face as a sunny presence in her dull parlour. She taught
-Antonia--shortened to Tonia--her letters, and taught her to dust the
-poor little cups and ornaments of willow-pattern Worcester china, and
-to keep the hearth trimly swept, and rub the brass fender--taught her
-all manner of little services which the child loved to perform. She
-was what people called an old-fashioned child; for, having never lived
-with other children, she had no loud boisterous ways, and her voice
-was never shrill and ear-piercing. All she had learnt or observed had
-been the ways of grown-up people. From the time she was ten years old
-she was able to be of use to her father. She had gone on errands in
-the immediate neighbourhood for Mrs. Potter. Thornton sent her further
-afield to carry copy to a printer, or a letter to a bookseller, with
-many instructions as to how to ask her way at every turn, and to be
-careful in crossing the street. Mrs. Potter shuddered at these journeys
-to Fleet Street or St. Paul's Churchyard, and it seemed a wonder to
-her that the child came back alive, but she stood in too much awe of
-her lodger's learning and importance to question his conduct; and when
-Antonia entered her teens she had all the discretion of a woman, and
-was able to take care of her father, and to copy his hurried scrawl in
-her own neat penmanship, when he had written against time in a kind of
-shorthand of his own, with contractions which Antonia soon mastered.
-The education of his daughter was the one duty that Thornton had never
-shirked. Hack-scribbler as he was, he loved books for their own sake,
-and he loved imparting knowledge to a child whose quick appreciation
-lightened the task and made it a relaxation. He gave her of his best,
-thinking that he did her a service in teaching her to despise the
-beliefs that so many of her fellow-creatures cherished, ranking the
-Christian religion with every hideous superstition of the dark ages,
-as only a little better than the delusions of man-eating savages in an
-unexplored Africa, or the devil-dancers and fakirs of Hindostan.
-
-This man was, perhaps, a natural product of that dark age which went
-before the Great Revival--the age when not to be a Deist and a scoffer
-was to be out of the fashion. He had been an ordained clergyman of the
-Church of England, taking up that trade as he took up the trade of
-letters, for bread and cheese. The younger son of a well-born Yorkshire
-squire, he had been a profligate and a spendthrift at Oxford, but was
-clever enough to get a degree, and to scrape through his ordination.
-As he had never troubled himself about spiritual questions, and knew
-no more theology than sufficed to satisfy an indulgent bishop, he
-had hardly considered the depth of his hypocrisy when he tendered
-himself as a shepherd of souls. He had a fluent pen, and could write
-a telling sermon, when it was worth his while; but original eloquence
-was wasted upon his bovine flock in Lincolnshire, and he generally
-read them any old printed sermon that came to hand among the rubbish
-heap of his bookshelves. He migrated from one curacy to another, and
-from one farmhouse to another, drinking with the farmers, hunting with
-the squires; diversified this dull round with a year or two on the
-Continent as bear-leader to a wealthy merchant's son and heir; brought
-home an Italian wife, and while she lived was tolerably constant and
-tolerably sober. That brief span of wedded life, with a woman he fondly
-loved, made the one stage in his life-journey to which he might have
-looked back without self-reproach.
-
-He was delighted with his daughter's quick intellect and growing love
-for books. She began to help him almost as soon as she could write,
-and now in her twentieth year father and daughter seemed upon an
-intellectual level.
-
-"Nature has been generous to her," he told his chums at "The Portico."
-"She has her mother's beauty and my brains."
-
-"Let's hope she'll never have your swallow for gin-punch, Bill," was
-the retort, that being the favourite form of refreshment in "The
-Portico" room at the Red Lion.
-
-"Nay, she inherits sobriety also from her mother, whose diet was as
-temperate as a wood-nymph's."
-
-His eyes grew dim as he thought of the wife long dead--the confiding
-girl he had carried from her home among the vineyards and gardens of
-the sunny hillside above Bellagio to the dismal Lincolnshire parsonage,
-between grey marsh and sluggish river. He had brought her to dreariness
-and penury, and to a climate that killed her. Nothing but gin-punch
-could ever drown those sorrowful memories; so 'twas no wonder Thornton
-took more than his share of the bowl. His companions were his juniors
-for the most part, and his inferiors in education. He was the Socrates
-of this vulgar Academy, and his disciples looked up to him.
-
-The shabby second floor in Rupert Buildings was Antonia's only idea
-of home. Her own eerie was on the floor above--a roomy garret, with a
-casement window in the sloping roof, a window that seemed to command
-all London, for she could see Westminster Abbey, and the Houses of
-Parliament, and across the river to the more rustic-looking streets
-and lanes on the southern shore. She loved her garret for the sake of
-that window, which had a broad stone sill where she kept her garden of
-stocks and pansies, pinks and cowslips, maintained with the help of an
-occasional shilling from her father.
-
-The sitting-room was furnished with things that had once been good,
-for Mrs. Potter was one of those many hermits in the great city who
-had seen better days. She was above the common order of landladies,
-and kept her house as clean as a house in Rupert Buildings could be
-kept. Tidiness was out of the question in any room inhabited by William
-Thornton, whose books and papers accumulated upon every available
-table or ledge, and were never to be moved on pain of his severe
-displeasure. It was only by much coaxing that his daughter could secure
-the privilege of a writing-table to herself. He declared that the
-destruction of a single printer's proof might be his ruin, or even the
-ruin of the newspaper for which it was intended.
-
-Such as her home was, Antonia was content with it. Such as her life
-was, she bore it patiently, unsustained by any hope of a happier life
-in a world to come--unsustained by the conviction that by her industry
-and cheerfulness she was pleasing God.
-
-She knew that there were homes in which life looked brighter than it
-could in Rupert Buildings. She walked with her father in the evening
-streets sometimes, when his empty pockets and his score at the Red
-Lion forbade the pleasures of "The Portico." She knew the aspect of
-houses in Pall Mall and St. James's Square, in Arlington Street and
-Piccadilly; heard the sound of fiddles and French horns through open
-windows, light music and light laughter; caught glimpses of inner
-splendours through hall doors; saw coaches and chairs setting down gay
-company, a street crowded with link-boys and running footmen. She knew
-that in this London, within a quarter of a mile of her garret, there
-was a life to which she must ever remain a stranger--a life of luxury
-and pleasure, led by the high-born and the wealthy.
-
-Sometimes when her father was in a sentimental mood he would tell
-her of his grandfather's magnificence at the family seat near York;
-would paint the glories of a country house with an acre and a half of
-roof, the stacks of silver plate, and a perpetual flow of visitors,
-gargantuan hunt breakfasts, hunters and coach-horses without number. He
-exceeded the limits of actual fact, perhaps, in these reminiscences.
-The magnificence had all vanished away, the land was sold, the plate
-was melted, not one of the immemorial oaks was left to show where the
-park had been; but Tonia was never tired of hearing of those prosperous
-years, and was glad to think she came of people who were magnates in
-the land.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-
-MISS LESTER, OF THE PATENT THEATRES.
-
-
-Besides Mrs. Potter, to whom she was warmly attached, Antonia had one
-friend, an actress at Drury Lane, who had acted in Mr. Thornton's
-comedy of _How to please her_, and who had made his daughter's
-acquaintance at the wings while his play was in progress. Patty Lester
-was, perhaps, hardly the kind of person a careful father would have
-chosen for his youthful daughter's bosom friend, for Patty was of the
-world worldly, and had somewhat lax notions of morality, though there
-was nothing to be said against her personally. No nobleman's name had
-ever been bracketed with hers in the newspapers, nor had her character
-suffered from any intrigue with a brother actor. But she gave herself
-no airs of superiority over her less virtuous sisters, nor was she
-averse to the frivolous attentions and the trifling gifts of those
-ancient beaux and juvenile macaronis who fluttered at the side-scenes
-and got in the way of the stage-carpenters.
-
-Thornton had not reared his daughter in Arcadian ignorance of evil, and
-he had no fear of her being influenced by Miss Lester's easy views of
-conduct.
-
-"The girl is as honest as any woman in England, but she is not a lady,"
-he told Antonia, "and I don't want you to imitate her. But she has a
-warm heart, and is always good company, so I see no objection to your
-taking a dish of tea with her at her lodgings once in a way."
-
-This "once in a way" came to be once or twice a week, for Miss Lester's
-parlour was all that Antonia knew of gaiety, and was a relief from the
-monotony of literary toil. Dearly as she loved to assist her father's
-labours, there came an hour in the day when the aching hand dropped on
-the manuscript or the tired eyes swam above the closely printed page;
-and then it was pleasant to put on her hat and run to the Piazza,
-where Patty was mostly to be found at home between the morning's
-rehearsal and the night's performance. Her lodgings were on a second
-floor overlooking the movement and gaiety of Covent Garden, where the
-noise of the waggons bringing asparagus from Mortlake and strawberries
-from Isleworth used to sound in her dreams, hours before the indolent
-actress opened her eyes upon the world of reality.
-
-She was at home this windy March afternoon, squatting on the hearthrug
-toasting muffins, when Miss Thornton knocked at her door.
-
-"Come in, if you're Tonia," she cried. "Stay out if you're an odious
-man."
-
-"I doubt you expect some odious man," said Tonia, as she entered, "or
-you wouldn't say that."
-
-"I never know when not to expect 'em, child. There are three or four of
-my devoted admirers audacious enough to think themselves always welcome
-to drop in for a dish of tea; indeed, one of 'em has a claim to my
-civility, for he is in the India trade, and keeps me in gunpowder and
-bohea. But 'tis only old General Granger I expect this afternoon--him
-that gave me my silver canister," added Patty, who never troubled about
-grammar.
-
-"I would rather be without the canister than plagued by that old man's
-company," said Tonia.
-
-"Oh, you are hard to please--unless 'tis some scholar with his mouth
-full of book talk! I find the General vastly entertaining. Sure he
-knows everybody in London, and everything that is doing or going to be
-done. He keeps me _aw courrong_," concluded Patty, whose French was on
-a par with her English.
-
-She rose from the hearth, with her muffin smoking at the end of a
-long tin toasting-fork. Her parlour was full of incongruities--silver
-tea-canister, china cups and saucers glorified by sprawling red and
-blue dragons, an old mahogany tea-board and pewter spoons, a blue satin
-_neglige_ hanging over the back of a chair, an open powder-box on
-the side table. The furniture was fine but shabby--the sort of fine
-shabbiness that satisfied the landlady's clients, who were mostly from
-the two patent theatres. The house had a renown for being comfortable
-and easy to live in--no nonsense about early hours or quiet habits.
-
-"Prythee make the tea while I butter the muffins," said Patty. "The
-kettle is on the boil. But take your hat off before you set about it.
-Ah, what glorious hair!" she said, as Antonia threw off the poor little
-gipsy hat; "and to think that mine is fiery red!"
-
-"Nay, 'tis but a bright auburn. I heard your old General call it a trap
-for sunbeams. 'Tis far prettier than this inky black stuff of mine."
-
-Antonia wore no powder, and the wavy masses of her hair were bound
-into a scarlet snood that set off their raven gloss. Her complexion
-was of a marble whiteness, with no more carnation than served to show
-she was a woman and not a statue. Her eyes, by some freak of heredity,
-were not black, like her mother's--whom she resembled in every other
-feature--but of a sapphire blue, the blue of Irish eyes, luminous
-yet soft, changeful, capricious, capable of dazzling joyousness, of
-profoundest melancholy. Brown-eyed, auburn-headed Patty looked at her
-young friend with an admiration which would have been envious had she
-been capable of ill-nature.
-
-"How confoundedly handsome you are to-day!" she exclaimed; "and in that
-gown too! I think the shabbier your clothes are the lovelier you look.
-You'll be cutting me out with my old General."
-
-"Your General has seen me a dozen times, and thinks no more of me than
-if I were a plaster image."
-
-"Because you never open your lips before company, except to say yes or
-no, like a long-headed witness in the box. I wonder you don't go on the
-stage, Tonia. If you were ever so stupid at the trade your looks would
-get you a hearing and a salary."
-
-"Am I really handsome?" Tonia asked, with calm wonder.
-
-She had been somewhat troubled of late by the too florid compliments
-of booksellers and their assistants, whom she saw on her father's
-business; but she concluded it was their way of affecting gallantry
-with every woman under fifty. She had a temper that repelled
-disagreeable attentions, and kept the boldest admirer at arm's length.
-
-"Handsome? You are the beautifullest creature I ever saw, and I would
-chop ten years off my old age to be as handsome, though most folks
-calls me a pretty woman," added Patty, bridling a little, and pursing
-up a cherry mouth.
-
-She was a pink-and-white girl, with a complexion like new milk, and
-cheeks like cabbage-roses. She had a supple waist, plump shoulders,
-and a neat foot and ankle, and was a capable actress in all secondary
-characters. She couldn't carry a great playhouse on her shoulders, or
-make a dull play seem inspired, as Mrs. Pritchard could; or take the
-town by storm as Juliet, like Miss Bellamy.
-
-"Well, I doubt my looks will never win me a fortune; but I hope I may
-earn money from the booksellers before long, as father does."
-
-"Sure 'tis a drudging life--and you'd be happier in the theatre."
-
-"Not I, Patty. I should be miserable away from my books, and not to be
-my own mistress. I work hard, and tramp to the city sometimes when my
-feet are weary of the stones; but father and I are free creatures, and
-our evenings are our own."
-
-"Precious dull evenings," said Patty, with her elbows on the table
-and her face beaming at her friend. "Have a bit more muffin. I wonder
-you're not _awnweed_ to death."
-
-"I do feel a little _triste_ sometimes, when the wind howls in the
-chimney, and every one in the house but me is in bed, and I have been
-alone all the evening."
-
-"Which you are always."
-
-"Father has to go to his club to hear the news. And 'tis his only
-recreation. But though I love my books, and to sit with my feet on
-the fender and read Shakespeare, I should love just once in a way to
-see what people are like; the women I see through their open windows
-on summer nights--such handsome faces, such flashing jewels, and with
-snowy feathers nodding over their powdered heads----"
-
-"You should see them at Ranelagh. Why does not your father take you to
-Ranelagh? He could get a ticket from one of the fine gentlemen whose
-speeches he writes. I saw him talking to Lord Kilrush in the wings
-t'other night."
-
-"Who is Lord Kilrush?"
-
-"One of the finest gentlemen in town, and a favourite with all the
-women, though he is nearer fifty than forty."
-
-"An old man?"
-
-"_You_ would call him so," said Patty, with a sigh, conscious of her
-nine and twenty years. "He'd give your father a ticket for Ranelagh,
-I'll warrant."
-
-Tonia looked down at her brown stuff gown, and laughed the laugh of
-scorn.
-
-"Ranelagh, in this gown!" she said.
-
-"You should wear one of mine."
-
-"Good dear, 'twould not reach my ankles!"
-
-"I grant there's overmuch of you. Little David called you the Anakim
-Venus when he caught sight of you at the side scenes. 'Who's that
-magnificent giantess?' he asked."
-
-"The people of Lilliput took Captain Gulliver for a giant, and the
-Brobdignagians thought him a dwarf. 'Tis a question of comparison,"
-replied Tonia, huffed at the manager's criticism.
-
-"Nay, don't be vexed, child. 'Tis a feather in your cap for Garrick to
-give you a second thought. Well, if Ranelagh won't suit, there is Mrs.
-Mandalay's dancing-room. She has a ball twice a week in the season,
-and a masquerade once a fortnight. You can borrow a domino from the
-costumier in the Piazza for the outlay of half a dozen shillings."
-
-"Do the women of fashion go to Mrs. Mandalay's?"
-
-"All the town goes there."
-
-"Then I'll beg my father to take me. I am helping him with his new
-comedy, and I want to see what modish people are like--off the stage."
-
-"Not half so witty as they are on it. Is there a part for me in the new
-play?"
-
-Patty would have asked that question of Shakespeare's ghost had he
-returned to earth to write a new Hamlet. It was her only idea in
-association with the drama.
-
-"Indeed, Patty, there is an impudent romp of quality you would act to
-perfection."
-
-"I love a romp," cried Patty, clapping her hands. "Give me a pinafore
-and a pair of scarlet shoes, and I am on fire with genius. I hope David
-will bring out your dad's play, and that 'twill run a month."
-
-"If it did he would give me a silk gown, and I might see Ranelagh."
-
-"He is not a bad father, is he, Tonia?"
-
-"Bad! There was never a kinder father."
-
-"But he lets you work hard."
-
-"I love the work next best to him that sets me to it."
-
-"And he has been your only schoolmaster, and you are clever enough to
-frighten a simpleton like me."
-
-"Nay, Patty, you are the cleverest, for you can do things--act, sing,
-dance. Mine is only book-learning; but such as it is, I owe it all to
-my father."
-
-"I hate books. 'Twas as much as I could do to learn to read. But
-there's one matter in which your father has been unkind to you."
-
-"No, no--in nothing."
-
-"Yes," said Patty, shaking her head solemnly, "he has brought you up an
-atheist, never to go to church, not even on Christmas Day; and to read
-Voltaire"--with a shudder.
-
-"Do you go to church, Patty? 'Tis handy enough to your lodgings."
-
-"Oh, I am too tired of a Sunday morning, after acting six nights in a
-week; for if Bellamy and Pritchard are out of the bill and going out
-a-visiting, and strutting and grimacing in fine company, there's always
-a part for a scrub like me; and if I'm not in the play I'm in the
-burletta."
-
-"And do you think you're any wickeder for not going to church twice
-every Sunday?"
-
-"I always go at Christmas and at Easter," protested Patty, "and I
-feel myself a better woman for going. You've been brought up to hate
-religion."
-
-"No, Patty, only to hate the fuss that's made about it, and the
-cruelties men have done to each other, ever since the world began, in
-its name."
-
-"I wouldn't read Voltaire if I was you," said Patty. "The General told
-me 'twas an impious, indecent book."
-
-"Voltaire is the author of more than forty books, Patty."
-
-"Oh, is it an author? I thought 'twas the name of a novel, like 'Tom
-Jones,' only more impudent."
-
-There came a knock at the door, and this time Patty knew it was her old
-General.
-
-"Stop out, Beast!" she cried. "There's nobody at home to an old fool!"
-upon which courteous greeting the ancient warrior entered smiling.
-
-"Was there ever such a witty puss?" he exclaimed. "I kiss Mrs.
-Grimalkin's velvet paw. Pray how many mice has Minette crunched since
-breakfast?"
-
-His favourite jest was to attribute feline attributes to Patty, whose
-appreciation of his humour rose or fell in unison with his generosity.
-A pair of white gloves worked with silver thread, or a handsome ribbon
-for her hair secured her laughter and applause.
-
-To-day Patty's keen glance showed her that the General was
-empty-handed. He had not brought her so much as a violet posy. He
-saluted Antonia with his stateliest bow, blinking at her curiously, but
-too short-sighted to be aware of her beauty in the dim light of the
-parlour, where evening shadows were creeping over the panelled walls.
-
-Patty set the kettle on the fire and washed out the little china
-teapot, while she talked to her ancient admirer. He liked to watch
-her kitten-like movements, her trim sprightly ways, to take a cup of
-weak tea from her hand, and to tell her his news of the town, which
-was mostly wrong, but which she always believed. She thought him a
-foolish old person, but the pink of fashion. His talk was a diluted
-edition of the news we read in Walpole's letters--talk of St. James's
-and Leicester House, of the old king and his grandson, newly created
-Prince of Wales, of the widowed princess and Lord Bute, of a score of
-patrician belles whose histories were more or less scandalous, and of
-those two young women from Dublin, the penniless Gunnings, whose beauty
-had set the town in a blaze--sisters so equal in perfection that no two
-people were of a mind as to which was the handsomer.
-
-Tonia had met the General often, and knew his capacity for being
-interesting. She rose and bade her friend good-bye.
-
-"Nay, child, 'tis ill manners to leave me directly I have company. The
-General and I have no secrets."
-
-"My Minette is a cautious puss, and will never confess to the
-singing-birds she has killed," said the dodderer.
-
-Tonia protested that her father would be at home and wanting her. She
-saluted the soldier with her stateliest curtsey, and departed with the
-resolute _aplomb_ of a duchess.
-
-"Your friend's grand manners go ill with her shabby gown," said the
-General. "With her fine figure she should do well on the stage."
-
-"There is too much of her, General. She is too tall by a head for an
-actress. 'Tis delicate little women look best behind the lamps."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Thornton was fond of his daughter, and had never said an unkind word to
-her; but he had no scruples about letting her work for him, having a
-fixed idea that youth has an inexhaustible fund of health and strength
-upon which age can never overdraw. He was proud of her mental powers,
-and believed that to help a hack-scribbler with his multifarious
-contributions to magazines and newspapers was the finest education
-possible for her. If they went to the playhouse together 'twas she who
-wrote a critique on the players next morning, while her father slept.
-Dramatic criticism in those days was but scurvily treated by the Press,
-and Tonia was apt to expatiate beyond the limits allowed by an editor,
-and was mortified to see her opinions reduced to the baldest comment.
-
-She talked to her father of Mrs. Mandalay's dancing-rooms. He knew
-there was such a place, but doubted whether 'twas a reputable resort.
-He promised to make inquiries, and thus delayed matters, without the
-unkindness of a refusal. Tonia was helping him with a comedy for
-Drury Lane--indeed, was writing the whole play, his part of the work
-consisting chiefly in running his pen across Tonia's scenes, and
-bidding her write them again in accord with his suggestions, which she
-did with equal meekness and facility. He grew a little lazier every day
-as he discovered his daughter's talent, and encouraged her to labour
-for him. He praised himself for having taught her Spanish, so that she
-had the best comedies in the world, as he thought, at her fingers'
-ends.
-
-It was for the sake of the comedy Tonia urged her desire to see the
-_beau monde_.
-
-"'Tis dreadful to write about people of fashion when one has never seen
-any," she said.
-
-"Nay, child, there's no society in Europe will provide you better
-models than you'll find in yonder duodecimos," her father would say,
-pointing to Congreve and Farquhar. "Mrs. Millamant is a finer lady than
-any duchess in London."
-
-"Mrs. Millamant is half a century old, and says things that would make
-people hate her if she was alive now."
-
-"Faith, we are getting vastly genteel; and I suppose by-and-by we shall
-have plays as decently dull as Sam Richardson's novels, without a joke
-or an oath from start to finish," protested Thornton.
-
-It was more than a month after Tonia's first appeal that her father
-came home to dinner one afternoon in high spirits, and clapped a couple
-of tickets on the tablecloth by his daughter's plate.
-
-"Look there, slut!" he cried. "I seized my first chance of obliging
-you. There is a masked ball at Mrs. Mandalay's to-night, and I waited
-upon my old friend Lord Kilrush on purpose to ask him for tickets; and
-now you have only to run to the costumier's and borrow a domino and a
-mask, and see that there are no holes in your stockings."
-
-"I always mend my stockings before the holes come," Antonia said
-reproachfully.
-
-"You are an indefatigable wench! Come, there's a guinea for you;
-perhaps you can squeeze a pair of court shoes out of it, as well as the
-hire of the domino."
-
-"You are a dear, dear, dearest dad! I'll ask Patty to go to the
-costumier's with me. She will get me a good pennyworth."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-
-AT MRS. MANDALAY'S ROOMS.
-
-
-Mrs. Mandalay's rooms were crowded, for Mrs. Mandalay's patrons
-included all the varieties of London society--the noble, the rich, the
-clever, the dull, the openly vicious, the moderately virtuous, the
-audaciously disreputable, masked and unmasked; the outsiders who came
-from curiosity; the initiated who came from habit; dissolute youth,
-frivolous old age, men and boys who came because they thought this, and
-only this, was life: to rub shoulders with a motley mob, to move in an
-atmosphere of ribald jokes and foolish laughter, air charged with the
-electricity of potential bloodshed, since at any moment the ribald jest
-might lead to the insensate challenge; to drink deep of adulterated
-wines, fired with the alcohol that inspires evil passions and kills
-thought. These were the diversions that men and women sought at Mrs.
-Mandalay's; and it was into this witch's cauldron that William Thornton
-plunged his daughter, reckless of whom she met or what she saw and
-heard, for it was an axiom in his blighting philosophy that the more a
-young woman knew of the world she lived in, the more likely she was to
-steer a safe course between its shoals and quicksands.
-
-Antonia looked with amazement upon the tawdry spectacle--dominos,
-diamonds, splendour, and shabbiness, impudent faces plastered with
-white and red, beauty still fresh and young, boys still at the
-University, old men fitter for the hospital than for the drawing-room.
-Was _this_ the dazzling scene she had longed for sometimes in the
-toilsome evenings, when her tired hand sank on the foolscap page, and
-in the pause of the squeaking quill she heard the clock ticking on
-the stairs and the cinders crumbling in the grate? She had longed for
-lighted rooms and joyous company, for the concerts, and dances, and
-dinners, and suppers she read about in the _Daily Journal_; but the
-scenes her imagination had conjured up were as different from this as
-paradise from pandemonium.
-
-Dancing was difficult in such a crowd, but there was a country dance
-going on to the music of an orchestra of fiddles and French horns,
-stationed in a gallery over one end of the room. The music was a
-_pot-pourri_ of favourite melodies in the "Beggar's Opera," and the
-strongly marked tunes beat upon Antonia's brain as she and her father
-stood against the wall near the entrance doors, watching the crowd.
-
-A master of the ceremonies came to ask her if she would dance. Her
-father answered for her, somewhat curtly. No, the young lady had only
-looked in to see what Mrs. Mandalay's rooms were like.
-
-"Mrs. Mandalay's rooms are too good to be made a show for country
-cousins," the man answered impudently, after a flying glance at
-Thornton's threadbare suit; "and Miss has too pretty a figure under her
-domino to shirk a dance."
-
-"Be good enough to leave us to ourselves, sir. Our tickets have been
-paid for; and we have a right to consume this polluted atmosphere
-without having to suffer impertinence."
-
-"Oh, if you come to that, sir, I carry a sword, and will swallow no
-insult from a beggarly parson; and there are plenty of handsome women
-pining for partners."
-
-He edged off as he spoke, and was safe amongst the crowd before he
-finished his sentence.
-
-"Let's go home, sir," said Antonia. "I never could have pictured such
-an odious place."
-
-"'Tis one of the most fashionable assemblies in London, child."
-
-"Then I wonder at the taste of Londoners. Pray, sir, let's go home. I
-should never have teased you to bring me here had I known 'twas like
-this; but you have at least cured me of the desire to come again--or to
-visit any place that resembles this."
-
-"You are pettish and over-fastidious. I came here for your amusement,
-and you may stay here for mine. I can't waste coach hire because you
-are capricious. I must have something for my money. Do you stay here
-quietly, while I circulate and find a friend or two."
-
-"Oh, father, don't leave me among this rabble! I shall die of disgust
-if any one speaks to me--like that vulgar wretch just now."
-
-"Tush, Tonia, there are no women-eaters here; and you have brains
-enough to know how to answer any impudent jackanapes in London."
-
-He was gone before she could say anything more. She had hated to be
-there even with her father at her side. It was agony to stand there
-alone, fanning herself with the trumpery Spanish fan that had been
-sent her with the domino. She was not shy as other women are on their
-first appearance in an assembly. She had been trained to despise her
-fellow-creatures, and had an inborn pride that would have supported her
-anywhere. But the scene gave her a feeling of loathing that she had
-never known before. The people seemed to her of an unknown race. Their
-features, their air exhaled wickedness. "The sons of Belial, flown
-with insolence and wine." She hated herself for being there, hated her
-father for bringing her there.
-
-They had come very late, when the assembly was at its worst, or at its
-best, according to one's point of view. The modish people, who vowed
-they detested the rooms, and only looked in to see who was there, were
-elbowing their way among fat citizens and their wives from Dowgate, and
-rich merchants from Clapham Common; while the more striking figures in
-the crowd belonged obviously to the purlieus of Covent Garden and the
-paved courts near Long Acre.
-
-Tonia watched them till, in spite of her aversion, she began to grow
-interested in the masks and the faces. The faces told their own story;
-but the masks had a more piquant attraction, suggesting mystery. She
-began to notice couples who were obviously lovers, and to imagine a
-romance here and there. Her eyes passed over the disreputable painted
-faces, and fixed on the young and beautiful, secure in pride of
-birth, the assurance of superiority. She caught furtive glances, the
-lingering clasp of hands, the smile that promised, the whisper that
-pleaded. Romance and mystery enough here to fill more volumes than
-Richardson had published. And then among the people who came in late,
-talked loud, and did not dance, there were such satins and brocades,
-velvet and lace, feathers and jewels, as neither the theatres nor her
-dreams had ever shown her. She was woman enough to look at these with
-pleasure, in spite of her masculine education.
-
-She had forgotten how long she had been standing there when her father
-came back, smelling of brandy, and accompanied by a man whom she had
-been watching some minutes before, one of the late arrivals, who looked
-young at a distance, but old, or at best middle-aged, when he came near
-her. She had seen him surrounded by a bevy of women, who hung about him
-with an eager appreciation which would have been an excuse for vanity
-in a Solomon.
-
-The new-comer's suit of mouse-coloured velvet was plainer than anybody
-else's, but his air and figure would have given distinction to a
-beggar's rags, and there needed not the star and ribbon half hidden
-under the lapel of his coat to tell her that he was a personage.
-
-"My friend and patron, Lord Kilrush, desires to make your acquaintance,
-Antonia," her father said with his grand air.
-
-She had heard of Lord Kilrush, an Irish peer, with an immense territory
-on the Shannon and on the Atlantic which he never visited; a man of
-supreme distinction in a world where the cut of a coat and the pedigree
-of a horse count for more than any moral attributes. While he had all
-the dignity of a large landowner, the bulk of his fortune was derived
-from his mother, who was the only child of an East Indian factor, "rich
-with the spoil of plundered provinces."
-
-Antonia had been watching the modish women's manoeuvres long enough to
-be able to sink to the exact depth and rise with the assured grace of a
-fashionable curtsey. The perfect lips under the light lace of her mask
-relaxed in a grave smile, parting just enough to show the glitter of
-pearly teeth between two lines of carmine. Her flashing eyes and lovely
-mouth gave Kilrush assurance of beauty. It would have taken the nose of
-a Socrates, or a complexion pitted with the smallpox, to mar the effect
-of such eyes and such lips.
-
-"Pray allow me to escort you through the rooms, and to get you a cup
-of chocolate, madam," he said, offering his arm. "Your father tells me
-that 'tis your first visit to this notorious scene. Mrs. Mandalay's
-chocolate is as famous as her company, and of a better quality--for it
-is innocent of base mixtures."
-
-"Go with his lordship, Tonia," said her father, answering her
-questioning look; "you must be sick to death of standing here."
-
-"Oh, I have amused myself somehow," she said. "It is like a comedy at
-the theatres--I can read stories in the people's faces."
-
-She took Kilrush's arm with an easy air that astonished him.
-
-"Then you like the Mandalay room?" he said, as he made a path through
-the crowd, people giving way to him almost as if to a royal personage.
-
-He was known here as he was known in all pleasure places for a leader
-and a master spirit. It suited him to live in a country where he had
-no political influence. He had never been known to interest himself
-about any serious question in life. Early in his career, when his wife
-ran away with his bosom friend, his only comment was that she always
-came to the breakfast-table with a slovenly head, and it was best for
-both that they should part. He ran his rapier through his friend's left
-lung early one morning in the fields behind Montague House; but he told
-his intimates that it was not because he hated the scoundrel who had
-relieved him of an incubus, but because it would have been ungenteel to
-let him live.
-
-He conducted Antonia through the suite of rooms that comprised "Mrs.
-Mandalay's." There were two or three little side-rooms where people
-sat in corners and talked confidentially, as they do in such places to
-this day. The confidences may have been a shade more audacious then, an
-incipient intrigue more daringly conducted, but it was the same and
-the same--a married woman who despised her husband; a married man who
-detested his wife; a young lady of fashion playing high stakes for a
-coronet, and baulked or ruined at the game. Antonia glanced from one
-group to the other as if she knew all about them. To be a student of
-Voltaire is not to think too well of one's fellow-creatures. She had
-read Fielding too, and knew that women were fools and men reprobates.
-She had wept over Richardson's Clarissa, and knew that there had
-once been a virtuous woman, or that a dry-as-dust printer's elderly
-imagination had conceived such a creature.
-
-One room was set apart for light refreshments, coffee and chocolate,
-negus and cakes; and here Kilrush found a little table in a corner,
-and seated her at it. The crowd in this room was so dense that it
-created a solitude. They were walled in by brocaded sacques and the
-backs of velvet coats, and could talk to each other without fear of
-being overheard. This was so much pleasanter than standing against a
-wall staring at strange faces that Antonia began to think she liked
-Mrs. Mandalay's. She took off her mask, unconscious that an adept
-in coquetry would have maintained the mystery of her loveliness a
-little longer. Kilrush was content to worship her for the perfection
-of her mouth, the half-seen beauty of her eyes. She flung off the
-little velvet _loup_, and gave him the effulgence of her face, with an
-unconsciousness of power that dazzled him more than her beauty.
-
-"I was nearly suffocated," she said.
-
-He was silent in a transport of admiration. Her face had an exotic
-charm. It was too brilliant for native growth. The South glowed in the
-lustre of her eyes and in the sheen of her raven hair. He had seen
-such faces in Italy. The towers and cupolas, the church bells, the
-market women's parti-coloured stalls, the lounging boatmen and clear
-white light of the Isola Bella came back to him as he looked at her.
-He had spent an autumn in the Borromean Palaces, a visitor to the lord
-of those delicious isles, and he had seen faces like hers, and had
-worshipped them, in the heyday of youth, when he was on his grand tour.
-He remembered having heard that Thornton had married a lovely Italian
-girl, whom he had stolen from her home in Lombardy, while he was
-travelling as bear-leader to an India merchant's son.
-
-Antonia sipped her chocolate with a composure that startled him.
-Women--except the most experienced--were apt to be fluttered by his
-lightest attentions; yet this girl, who had never seen him till
-to-night, accepted his homage with a supreme unconcern, or indeed
-seemed unconscious of it. Her innocent assurance amused him. No rustic
-lass serving at an inn had ever received his compliments without a
-blush, for he had an air of always meaning more than he said.
-
-"Your father told me he had reared you in seclusion, madam," he said,
-"and I take it this is your first glimpse of our gay world."
-
-"My first and last," she replied. "I do not love your gay world. I
-did wrong to tease my father to bring me here. I imagined a scene so
-different."
-
-"Tell me what your fancy depicted."
-
-"Larger rooms, fewer people, more space and air--a _fete champetre_
-by Watteau within doors; dancers who danced for love of dancing, and
-who were all young, not old wrinkled men and fat women; not painted
-grimacing faces, and an atmosphere cloudy with hair-powder."
-
-"But is not this better than to sit in your lodgings and mope over
-books?"
-
-"I never mope over books; they are my friends and companions."
-
-"What, in the bloom of youth, when you should be dancing every night,
-gadding from one pleasure to another all day long? Books are the
-friends of old age. I shall take to books myself when I grow old."
-
-Tonia's dark brows elevated themselves unconsciously, and her eyes
-expressed wonder. Was he not old enough already for books and
-retirement? The man of seven and forty saw the look and interpreted it.
-
-"She knows I am old enough to be her father," he thought, "and that is
-the reason of her _sang froid_. Women of the world know that mine is
-the dangerous age--the age when a man who can love loves desperately,
-when concentration of purpose takes the place of youthful energy."
-
-They sat in silence for a few minutes while she finished her chocolate,
-and while he summed up the situation. Then she rose hastily.
-
-"I have been keeping you from your friends," she said.
-
-"Oh, I have no friends here."
-
-"Why, everybody was becking and bowing to you."
-
-"I am on becking and bowing terms with everybody; but most of us hate
-each other. Let me get you some more chocolate."
-
-"No, thank you. I must go back to my father."
-
-They had not far to go. Thornton was at a table on the other side of
-the room, drinking punch with one of his patrons in the book trade, a
-junior partner who was frivolous enough to look in at Mrs. Mandalay's.
-
-"Miss Thornton is so unkind as to fleer at our solemnities," said
-Kilrush, "and swears she will never come here again."
-
-"I told her she was a fool to wish to come," answered Thornton. "Your
-lordship has been uncommonly civil to take care of her. What the devil
-should a Grub Street hack's daughter do here? She has never had a
-dancing-lesson in her life."
-
-"She ought to begin to-morrow. Serise would glory in such a pupil. Give
-her but the knack of a minuet, and she would show young peeresses how
-to move like queens, or like a swan gliding on the current."
-
-"Oh, pray, my lord, don't flatter her. She has not the art to
-_riposter_, and she may think you mean what you say."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Kilrush went with them to the street, where his chairmen were waiting
-to carry him to St. James's Square, or to whatever gambling-house
-he might prefer to the solitude of his ancestral mansion. He wanted
-to send Antonia home in his chair, but Thornton declined the favour
-laughingly.
-
-"Your chairmen would leave your service to-morrow if you sent them to
-such a shabby neighbourhood," he said, taking his daughter on his arm.
-"We shall find a hackney coach on the stand."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-A MORNING CALL.
-
-
-Tonia worked at the comedy, but did not find her idea of a woman of
-_ton_ greatly enlarged by the women she had seen at Mrs. Mandalay's.
-Indeed, she began to think that her father was right, and that Mrs.
-Millamant--whose coarseness of speech disgusted her--was her best
-model. Yet, disappointing as that tawdry assembly had been, she felt as
-if she had gained something by her brief encounter with Lord Kilrush,
-and her pen seemed firmer when she tried to give life and meaning to
-the leading character in her play, the _role_ intended for Garrick.
-She had begun by making him young and foolish. She remodelled the
-character, and made him older and wiser, and tried to give him the
-grand air; evolving from her inner consciousness the personality which
-her brief vision of Kilrush had suggested. Her ardent imagination made
-much out of little.
-
-Of the man himself she scarcely thought, and would hardly have
-recognized his person had they met in the street. But the ideal man she
-endowed with every fascinating quality, every attracting grace.
-
-Her father noted the improvement in her work.
-
-"Why, this fourth act is the best we have done yet," he said, "and I
-think 'twas a wise stroke of mine to make our hero older----"
-
-"Oh, father, 'twas my notion, you'll remember."
-
-"You shall claim all the invention for your share, if you like, slut,
-so long as we concoct a piece that will satisfy Garrick, who grows more
-and more finical as he gets richer and more fooled by the town. The
-part will suit him all the better now we've struck a deeper note. He
-can't wish to play schoolboys all his life."
-
-It was three weeks after the masquerade when there came a rap at the
-parlour door one morning, and the maid-servant announced Lord Kilrush.
-
-Thornton was lying on a sofa in shirt-sleeves and slippers, smoking a
-long clay pipe, the picture of a self-indulgent sloven--that might have
-come straight from Hogarth. Tonia was writing at a table by an open
-window, the June sunshine gleaming in her ebon hair. Her father had
-been dictating and suggesting, objecting and approving, as she read her
-dialogue.
-
-The visit was startling, for though Thornton was on easy terms with
-his lordship, who had known him at the University, and had patronized
-and employed him in his decadence, Kilrush had never crossed his
-threshold till to-day. Had he come immediately after the meeting at
-Mrs. Mandalay's, Antonia's father might have suspected evil; but
-Thornton had flung that event into the rag-bag of old memories, and
-had no thought of connecting his patron's visit with his daughter's
-attractiveness. He was about as incapable of thought and memory as a
-thinking animal can be, having lived for the past fourteen years in the
-immediate present, conscious only of good days and bad days, the luck
-or the ill-luck of the hour, without hope in the days that were coming,
-or remorse for the days that were gone.
-
-Kilrush knew the man to the marrow of his bones, and although he had
-been profoundly impressed by Antonia's unlikeness to other women, he
-had waited a month before seeking to improve her acquaintance, and thus
-hoped to throw the paternal Argus off his guard.
-
-Tonia laid down her pen, rose straight and tall as a June lily, and
-made his lordship her queenly curtsey, blushing a lovely crimson at the
-thought of the liberties that rapid quill had taken with his character.
-
-"He is not half so handsome as my Dorifleur!" she thought; "but he has
-the grand air that no words can express. Poor little Garrick! What a
-genius he must be, and what heels he must wear, if he is to represent
-such a man!"
-
-Kilrush returned the curtsey with a bow as lofty, and then bent over
-the ink-stained fingers and kissed them, as if they had been saintly
-digits in a crystal _reliquaire_.
-
-"Does Miss Thornton concoct plays, as well as her gifted parent?" he
-inquired, with the smile that was so exquisitely gracious, yet not
-without the faintest hint of mockery.
-
-"The jade has twice her father's genius," said Thornton, who had
-risen from the sofa and laid his pipe upon the hob of the wide iron
-grate, where a jug of wall-flowers filled the place of a winter fire.
-"Or, perhaps I should say, twice her father's memory, for she has a
-repertory of Spanish and Italian plays to choose from when her Pegasus
-halts."
-
-"Nay, father, I am not a thief," protested Tonia.
-
-Kilrush glanced at the hack-scribbler, remembering that awkward
-adventure with the farmer's cash-box which had brought so worthy a
-gentleman to the treadmill, and which might have acquainted him with
-Jack Ketch. He glanced from father to daughter, and decided that
-Antonia was unacquainted with that scandalous episode in her parent's
-clerical career.
-
-After that one startled blush and conscious smile, the cause whereof
-he knew not, she was as unconcerned in his lordship's company to-day
-as she had been at Mrs. Mandalay's. She gave him no _minauderies_,
-no downcast eyelids or shy glances; but sat looking at him with a
-pleased interest while he talked of the day's news with her father, and
-answered him frankly and brightly when he discussed her own literary
-work.
-
-"You are very young to write plays," he said.
-
-"I wrote plays when I was five years younger," she answered, laughing,
-"and gave them to Betty to light the fires."
-
-"And your father warmed his legs before the dramatic pyre, and never
-knew 'twas the flame of genius?"
-
-"She was a fool to burn her trash," said Thornton. "I might have made a
-volume of it--'Tragedies and Comedies, by a young lady of fifteen.'"
-
-"I'll warrant Shakespeare burnt a stack of balderdash before he wrote
-_The Two Gentlemen of Verona_, poor stuff as it is," said Kilrush.
-
-"Is your lordship so very sure 'tis poor stuff?" asked Tonia.
-
-"If it wasn't, don't you think Garrick would have produced it? He loves
-Shakespeare--a vastly respectable poet whose plays he can act without
-paying for them. Be sure you let me know when your comedy is to be
-produced, madam, for I should die of vexation not to be present at the
-first performance."
-
-"Alas! there is a great gulf between a written play and an acted one,"
-sighed Tonia. "Mr. Garrick may not like it. But 'tis more my father's
-play than mine, my lord. He finds the ideas, and I provide the words."
-
-"She has a spontaneous eloquence that takes my breath away. But for
-the machinery, the fabric of the piece, the arrangement of the scenes,
-the method, the taste, the scope of the characters, and their action
-upon one another, I confess myself the author," Thornton said, in
-his grandiloquent way, having assumed his company manner, a style of
-conversation which he kept for persons of quality.
-
-"I doubt Miss Thornton is fonder of study than of pleasure, or I should
-have seen her at Mrs. Mandalay's again----"
-
-"I hate the place," interjected Tonia; "and if women of fashion are all
-like the painted wretches I saw there----"
-
-"They all paint--white lead is the rule and a clean-washed face the
-exception," said Kilrush; "but 'twould not be fair to judge the _beau
-monde_ by the herd you saw t'other night. Mrs. Mandalay's is an _olla
-podrida_ of good and bad company. Your father must initiate you in the
-pleasures of Ranelagh."
-
-"I have had enough of such pleasures. I had a curiosity--like
-Fatima's--to see a world that was hid from me. But for pleasure I
-prefer the fireside, and a novel by Richardson. If he would but give us
-a new Clarissa!"
-
-"You admire Clarissa?"
-
-"I adore, I revere her!"
-
-"A pious simpleton who stood in the way of her own happiness. Why, in
-the name of all that's reasonable, did she refuse to marry Lovelace,
-when he was willing?"
-
-Tonia flashed an indignant look at him.
-
-"If she could have stooped to marry him she would have proved herself
-at heart a wanton!" she said, with an outspoken force that startled
-Kilrush.
-
-Hitherto he had met only two kinds of women--the strictly virtuous,
-who affected an Arcadian innocence and whose talk was insupportably
-dull, and the women whose easy morals allowed the widest scope for
-conversation; but here was a girl of undoubted modesty, who was not
-afraid to argue upon a hazardous theme.
-
-"You admire Clarissa for her piety, perhaps?" he said. "That is what
-our fine ladies pretend to appreciate, though they are most of them
-heathens."
-
-"I admire her for her self-respect," answered Tonia. "That is her
-highest quality. When was there ever a temper so meek, joined with such
-fortitude, such heroic resolve?"
-
-"She was a proud, self-willed minx," said Kilrush, entranced with the
-vivid expression of her face, with the fire in her speech.
-
-"'Twas a woman's pride in her womanhood, a woman fighting against her
-arch enemy----"
-
-"The man who loved her?"
-
-"The man she loved. 'Twas that made the struggle desperate. She knew
-she loved him."
-
-"If she had been kinder, now, and had let love conquer?" insinuated
-Kilrush.
-
-"She would not have been Clarissa; she would not have been the
-long-suffering angel, the martyr in virtue's cause."
-
-"Prythee, my lord, do not laugh at my daughter's high-flown
-sentiments," said Thornton. "I have done my best to educate her reason;
-but while there are romancers like Samuel Richardson to instil folly
-'tis difficult to rear a sensible woman."
-
-"That warmth of sentiment is more delightful than all your cold reason,
-Thornton; but I compliment you on the education which has made this
-young lady to tower above her sex."
-
-"Oh, my lord, do not laugh at me. I have just learnt enough to know
-that I am ignorant," said Tonia, with her grand air--grand because so
-careless, as of one who is alike indifferent to the effect of her words
-and the opinion of those with whom she converses.
-
-Kilrush prolonged his visit into a second hour, during which the
-conversation flitted from books to people, from romance to politics,
-and never hung fire. He took leave reluctantly, apologizing for having
-stayed so long, and gave no hint of repeating his visit, nor was
-asked to do so. But he meant to come again and again, having as he
-thought established himself upon a footing of intimacy. A Grub-Street
-hack could have no strait-laced ideas--a man who had been in jail for
-something very like larceny, and who had educated his young daughter as
-a free-thinker.
-
-"She finds my conversation an agreeable relief after a ten years'
-_tete-a-tete_ with Thornton," he told himself, as he picked his way
-through the filth of Green Street to Leicester Fields. "But 'tis easy
-to see she thinks I have passed the age of loving, and is as much at
-home with me as if I were her grandfather. Yet 'twas a beautiful red
-that flushed her cheek when I entered the room. Well, if she is pleased
-to converse with me 'tis something; and I must school myself to taste a
-platonic attachment. A Lovelace of seven and forty! How she would jeer
-at the notion!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Lord Kilrush waited a fortnight before repeating his visit, and again
-called at an hour when Thornton was likely to be at home; but his third
-visit, which followed within a week of the second, happened late in
-the afternoon, when he found Antonia alone, but in no wise discomposed
-at the prospect of a _tete-a-tete_. She enjoyed his conversation with
-as frank and easy a manner as if she had been a young man, and his
-equal in station; and he was careful to avoid one word or look which
-might have disturbed her serenity. It was unflattering, perhaps, to be
-treated so easily, accepted so frankly as a friend of mature years; but
-it afforded him the privilege of a companionship that was fast becoming
-a necessity of his existence. The days that he spent away from Rupert
-Buildings were dull and barren. His hours with Antonia had an unfailing
-charm. He forgot even twinges of gout, and the burden of time--that
-dread of old age and death which so often troubled his luxurious
-solitude.
-
-She grew more enchanting as she became more familiar. She treated him
-with as cordial a friendship as if he had been her uncle. She would
-talk to him with her elbows on the table, and her long tapering fingers
-pushing back those masses of glossy hair which the ribbon could
-scarcely hold in place. Stray curls would fall over the broad white
-brow, and she had a way of tossing those random ringlets from her eyes
-that he could have sworn to among a thousand women.
-
-He told her all that was worth telling of the world in which he lived
-and had lived. He had been a soldier till his thirtieth year; had
-travelled much and far; had lived in Paris among the encyclopedists,
-and had entertained Voltaire at his house in London. He had seen every
-dramatic troupe worth seeing in France, Italy, and Spain; had dabbled
-in necromancy, and associated with savants in every science, at home
-and abroad.
-
-All his experiences interested Antonia. She had a way of entering into
-the ideas of another which he had never met with in any except the
-highest grade of women.
-
-"Your kindness makes me an egotist," he said. "You ought to be the
-mistress of a political _salon_. Faith, I can picture our party
-politicians pouring their griefs and hatreds into your ear, cheered by
-your sympathy, inspired by your wit. But I doubt you must find this
-prosing of mine plaguey tiresome."
-
-"No, no, no," she cried eagerly. "I want to know what the world is
-like. It is pleasant to listen to one who has seen all the places and
-people I long to see."
-
-"You will see them with your own young eyes, perhaps, some day," he
-said, smiling at her.
-
-She shook her head despondently, and waved the suggestion away as
-impossible.
-
-One day in an expansive mood she consented to read an act of the
-comedy, now finished, and waiting only Thornton's final touches, and
-that spicing of the comic episodes on which he prided himself, and
-against which his daughter vainly protested.
-
-"My father urges that we have to please three distinct audiences, and
-that scenes which delight people of good breeding are _caviare_ to the
-pit, while the gallery wants even coarser fare, and must have some
-foolery dragged in here and there to put them in good humour. I'll not
-read you the gallery pages."
-
-He listened as if to inspiration. He easily recognized her own work
-as opposed to her father's, the womanly sentiment of her heroine's
-speeches, her hero's lofty views of life. He ventured a suggestion or
-two at that first reading, and finding her pleased with his hints, he
-insisted on hearing the whole play, and began seriously to help her,
-and so breathed into her dialogue that air of the _beau monde_ which
-enhances the charm of contemporary comedy. This collaboration, so
-delightful to him, so interesting to her, brought them nearer to each
-other than all their talk had done. He became the partner of her ideas,
-the sharer of her hopes. He taught her all that her father had left
-untaught--the mystery of modish manners, the laws of that society which
-calls itself good, and how and when to break them.
-
-"For the parvenu 'tis a code of iron; for the fine gentleman there is
-nothing more pliable," he told her. "I have seen Chesterfield do things
-that would make a vulgarian shudder, yet with such benign grace that no
-one was offended."
-
-Thornton was with them sometimes, and they sat on the play in
-committee. He, who professed to be the chief author, found himself
-overruled by the other two. They objected to most of his jokes as
-vulgar or stale. They would admit no hackneyed turns of speech. The
-comedy was to be a picture of life in high places.
-
-"Begad, my lord, you'll make it too fine for the town, and 'twill be
-played to empty benches," remonstrated Thornton.
-
-"Nothing is ever too fine for the town," answered Kilrush. "Do you
-think the folks in the gallery want their own humdrum lives reflected
-on the stage, or to look on at banquets of whelks and twopenny porter?
-The mob love splendour, Mr. Thornton, and when they have not Bajazet or
-Richard, they like to see the finest fine gentlemen and ladies that a
-playwright can conceive."
-
-Thornton gave way gracefully. He knew his lordship's influence at the
-theatres, and he had told Garrick that Kilrush had written a third of
-the play, but would not have his name mentioned.
-
-"'Tis no better for that," said the manager, but in his heart liked the
-patrician flavour, and on reading _The Man of Mind_ owned 'twas the
-best thing Thornton had written, and promised to produce it shortly.
-
-By this time Kilrush and Antonia seemed old friends, and she looked
-back and thought how dull her life must have been before she knew him.
-He was the only man friend she had ever had except her father. She
-found his company ever so much more interesting than Patty Lester's,
-so that it was only for friendship's sake she ever went to the parlour
-over the piazza, or bade Patty to a dish of tea in Rupert Buildings.
-Patty opened her great brown eyes to their widest when she heard of
-Kilrush's visits.
-
-"You jeer at my ancient admirers," she said, "and now you have got one
-with a vengeance!"
-
-"He is no admirer--only an old friend of my father's who likes to sit
-and talk with me."
-
-"Is that all? He must be very fond of you to sit in a second floor
-parlour. He is one of the finest gentlemen in town, and the richest. My
-General told me all about him."
-
-"I thought that Irish peers were seldom rich," Tonia said carelessly,
-not feeling the faintest interest in her friend's fortune or position.
-
-"This one is; and he is something more than an Irish landowner. His
-mother was an East India merchant's only child, and one of the richest
-heiresses in England. Those Indian merchants are rank thieves, the
-General says--thieves and slave-traders, and they used to bring home
-mountains of gold. But that was fifty years ago, in the good old times."
-
-"Poor souls!" said Tonia, thinking of the slaves. "What a cruel world
-it is!"
-
-It grieved her to think that her friend's wealth had so base a source.
-She questioned her father on their next meal together.
-
-"Is it true that Lord Kilrush's grandfather was a slave-trader?" she
-asked.
-
-"'S'death, child, what put such trash in your head? Miss Lavenew was
-the daughter of a Calcutta merchant who dealt with the native princes
-in gold and gems, and who owned a tenth share of the richest diamond
-mine in the East. 'Tis the West Indian merchants who sometimes take a
-turn at the black trade, rather than let their ships lie in harbour
-till they ground on their own beef-bones."
-
-It was a relief to know that her friend's fortune was unstained by
-blood.
-
-"I do not think he would exist under the burden of such a heritage,"
-she said to herself, meditating upon the question in the long summer
-afternoons, while she sat with open windows, trying not to hear street
-cries, as she bent over an Eastern story by Voltaire, which she was
-translating for one of the magazines.
-
-Kilrush came in before her task was finished, but she laid her pen
-aside gladly, and rose to take his hat and stick from him with her
-dutiful daughterly air, just as she did for her father.
-
-"Nay, I will not have you wait upon me, when 'tis I should serve you on
-my knees, as queens are served," he said.
-
-It was seven o'clock, and he had come from a Jacobite dinner in Golden
-Square--a dinner at which the champagne and Burgundy had gone round
-freely before it came to drinking the king's health across a bowl of
-water. There was an unusual brightness in his eyes, and a faint flush
-upon cheeks that were more often pale.
-
-"I did not expect to see your lordship to-day," Tonia said, repelled by
-his manner, so unlike the sober politeness to which he had accustomed
-her. "I thought you were going to Tunbridge Wells."
-
-"My coach was at the door at ten o'clock this morning, the postillions
-in their saddles, when I sent them all to the devil. I found 'twas
-impossible to leave this stifling town."
-
-"A return of your gout?" she asked, looking at him wonderingly.
-
-"No, madam, 'twas not my gout, as you call it, though I never owned to
-more than a transient twinge. 'Twas a disease more deadly, a malady
-more killing."
-
-He made a step towards her, wanting to clasp her to his breast in the
-recklessness of a long suppressed passion, but drew back at the sound
-of a step on the stair.
-
-She looked at him still with the same open wonder. She could scarcely
-believe that this was Kilrush, the friend she admired and revered. Her
-father came in while she stood silent, perplexed, and distressed at the
-transformation.
-
-Kilrush flung himself into an armchair with a muttered oath. Then
-looking up, he caught the expression of Tonia's face, and it sobered
-him. He had been talking wildly; had offended her, his divinity, the
-woman to win whom was the fixed purpose of his mind--to win her at his
-own price, which was a base one. He had been tactful hitherto, had
-gained her friendship, and in one unlucky moment he had dropped the
-mask, and it might be that she would trust him no more.
-
-"Too soon, too soon," he told himself. "I have made her like me. I must
-make her love me before I play the lover."
-
-He let Thornton talk while he sat in a gloomy silence. It wounded him
-to the quick to discover that she still thought of him as an elderly
-man, whose most dreaded misfortune was a fit of the gout. 'Twas to
-sober age she had given her confidence.
-
-Thornton had been with Garrick, and had come home radiant. The play was
-to be put in rehearsal next week, with a magnificent cast.
-
-"But I fear your lordship is indisposed," he said, when Kilrush failed
-to congratulate him on his good fortune.
-
-"My lordship suffers from a disease common to men who are growing old.
-I am sick of this petty life of ours, and all it holds."
-
-"I am sorry to hear you talk like one of the Oxford Methodists," said
-Thornton. "It is their trick to disparage a world they have not the
-spirit or the fortune to enjoy."
-
-"They have their solatium in the kingdom of saints," said Kilrush. "I
-dare not flatter myself with the hope of an Elysium where I shall again
-be young and handsome, and capable of winning the woman I love."
-
-"Nor do you fear any place of torment where the pleasing indiscretions
-of a stormy youth are to be purged with fire," retorted Thornton, gaily.
-
-"No, I am like you--and Miss Thornton--I stake my all upon the only
-life I know and believe in."
-
-He glanced at Tonia to see how the materialist's barren creed sat on
-her bright youth. She gave a thoughtful sigh, and her eyes looked
-dreamily out to the summer clouds sailing over Wren's tall steeple. She
-was thinking that if she could have accepted Mrs. Potter's creed, and
-believed in a shining city above the clouds and the stars, it would
-have been sweet to hope for reunion with the mother whose face she
-could not remember, but whose sweetness and beauty her father loved to
-praise, even now after nineteen years of widowhood.
-
-"Your lordship is out of spirits," said Thornton. "Tonia shall give us
-a dish of tea."
-
-"No, I will not be so troublesome. I am out of health and out of
-humour. Miss Thornton was right, I dare swear, when she suggested the
-gout--my gout--an old man's chronic malady. I have been dining with a
-crew of boisterous asses who won't believe the Stuarts are beaten, in
-spite of the foolish heads that are blackening on Temple Bar. _J'ai le
-vin mauvais_, and am best at home."
-
-He kissed Antonia's hand, that cold hand which had never thrilled at
-his touch, nodded good-bye to Thornton, and hurried away.
-
-"Kilrush is not himself to-day," said Thornton.
-
-"I'm afraid he has been taking too much wine," said Antonia. "He had
-the strangest manner, and said the strangest things."
-
-"What things?"
-
-"Oh, a kind of wild nonsense that meant nothing."
-
-She was not accustomed to see any one under the influence of liquor.
-Her father was, by long habit, proof against all effects of the nightly
-punch-bowl, and however late he came from "The Portico," he had always
-his reasoning powers, and legs steady enough to carry him up two
-flights of stairs without stumbling.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-
-A SERIOUS FAMILY.
-
-
-Lord Kilrush posted to Tunbridge Wells the day after the Jacobite
-dinner, and found a herd of fine people he knew parading the Pantiles,
-or sauntering on the common, among Jews and Germans, pinmakers' wives
-from Smock Alley, and rural squires with red-cheeked daughters. He
-drank the waters, and nearly died of _ennui_. He would have liked the
-place better if it had been a solitude. Wit no longer aroused him, not
-even George Selwyn's; beauty had ceased to charm, except in one face,
-and that was two and thirty miles away. That chronic weariness which he
-knew for the worst symptom of advancing years increased with every hour
-of fashionable rusticity. The air at the Wells was delicious, the inn
-was comfortable, his physician swore that the treatment was improving
-his health. He left the place at an hour's notice, to the disgust of
-his body-servant, and posted back to town. He preferred the gloom of
-his great silent house in St. James's Square, where he lived a hermit's
-life in his library when London was empty. In years gone by he had
-spent the summer and autumn in a round of country visits, diversified
-with excursions to chateaux in the environs of Paris, and a winter at
-Florence or Rome, everywhere admired and in request. Scarce a season
-had passed without rumours of his impending marriage with some famous
-beauty, or still more famous fortune. But for the last five or six
-years he had wearied of society, and had restricted his company to a
-few chosen friends, men of his own age, with whom he could rail at the
-follies of the new generation--men who had known Bolingbroke in his day
-of power, and had entertained Voltaire at their country seats in the
-year '29.
-
-Were Tonia's violet eyes the lodestars that drew him back to town? He
-was singing softly to himself as he walked up Shooter's Hill, being
-ever merciful to the brute creation, and loving horses and dogs better
-than he loved men.
-
-"Thine eyes are lodestars and thy breath sweet air," he sang, twirling
-his clouded cane; and the thought that he would soon see those lovely
-eyes made him gay. But his first visit was not to Rupert Buildings. He
-knew that he had shocked and disgusted Antonia, and that he must give
-her time to recover her old confidence. It had been but an impetuous
-movement, a waft of passionate feeling, when he stretched out his arms
-towards her, yearning to clasp her to his breast; but her fine instinct
-had told her that this was the lover and not the friend. He must give
-her time to think she had mistaken him. He must play the comedy of
-indifference.
-
-He ordered his favourite hack on the day after his return from the
-Wells, and rode by Westminster Bridge, only opened in the previous
-autumn, to Clapham, past Kennington Common, where poor Jemmy Dawson
-had suffered for his share in the rebellion of '45, by pleasant rustic
-roads where the perfume of roses exhaled from prosperous citizens'
-gardens, surrounding honest, square-built brick houses, not to be
-confounded with the villa, which then meant a demi-mansion on a classic
-model, secluded in umbrageous grounds, and not a flimsy bay-windowed
-packing-case in a row of similar packing-cases.
-
-Clapham was then more rustic than Haslemere is now, and the common
-was the Elysian Fields of wealthy city merchants and some persons of
-higher quality. The shrubberied drive into which Kilrush rode was kept
-with an exquisite propriety, and those few flowering shrubs that bloom
-in September were unfolding their petals under an almost smokeless
-sky. He dismounted before a handsome house more than half a century
-old, built before the Revolution, a solid, red-brick house with long
-narrow windows, and a handsome cornice, pediment, and cupola masking
-the shining black tiles of the low roof. A shell-shaped canopy, richly
-carved, and supported by cherubic brackets, sheltered the tall doorway.
-The open door offered a vista of garden beyond the hall, and Kilrush
-walked straight through to the lawn, while his groom led the horses
-to the stable yard, a spacious quadrangle screened by intervening
-shrubberies.
-
-A middle-aged woman of commanding figure was seated at a table under
-the spreading branches of a plane with a young man, who rose hurriedly,
-and went to meet the visitor. The lady was Mrs. Stobart, the widow
-of a Bristol ship-owner, and the young man was her only son, late of
-a famous dragoon regiment. Both were dressed with a gloomy severity
-that set his lordship's teeth on edge, but both had a certain air of
-distinction not to be effaced by their plain attire.
-
-"This is very kind of your lordship," said George Stobart, as they
-shook hands. "My mother told me you were at Tunbridge Wells. She saw
-your name in the _Gazette_."
-
-"Your mother was right, George; but the inanity of the place wore me
-out in a week, and I left before I had given the waters a chance of
-killing or curing me!"
-
-He kissed Mrs. Stobart's black mitten, and dropped into a chair at
-her side, after vouchsafing a distant nod to a young woman who sat
-at a pace or two from the table, sewing the seam of a coarse linen
-shirt, with her head discreetly bent. She raised a pair of mild brown
-eyes, and blushed rosy red as she acknowledged his lordship's haughty
-greeting, and he noticed that Stobart went over to speak to her before
-he resumed his seat.
-
-There were some dishes of fruit on the table, Mrs. Stobart's
-work-basket and several books--the kind of books Kilrush loathed,
-pamphlets in grey paper covers, sermons in grey boards, the literature
-of that Great Revival which had spread a wave of piety over the United
-Kingdom, from John o' Groat's to the Land's End, and across the Irish
-Channel from the Liffey to the Shannon.
-
-Mrs. Stobart was his first cousin, the daughter of his father's elder
-sister and of Sir Michael MacMahon, an Irish judge. Good looks ran in
-the blood of the Delafields, and only two years ago Kilrush had been
-proud of his cousin, who until that date was a distinguished figure
-in the fashionable assemblies of London and Bath, and whose aquiline
-features and fine person were set off by powder and diamonds, and the
-floral brocades and flowing sacques which "that hateful woman," Madame
-de Pompadour, whom everybody of _ton_ abused and imitated, had brought
-into fashion. The existence of such women is, of course, a disgrace to
-civilization; but while their wicked reign lasts, persons of quality
-must copy their clothes.
-
-Two years ago George Stobart had been one of the most promising
-soldiers in His Majesty's army, a man who loved his profession, who
-had distinguished himself as a subaltern at Fontenoy, and was marked
-by his seniors for promotion. He had been also one of the best-dressed
-and best-mannered young men in London society, and at the Bath and the
-Wells a star of the first magnitude.
-
-What was he now? Kilrush shuddered as he marked the change.
-
-"A sanctimonious prig," thought his lordship; "a creature of moods and
-hallucinations, who might be expected at any hour to turn lay preacher,
-and jog from Surrey to Cornwall on one of his superannuated chargers,
-bawling the blasphemous familiarities of the new school to the mob
-on rural commons, escaping by the skin of his teeth from the savages
-of the manufacturing districts, casting in his itinerant lot with
-Whitefield and the Wesleys."
-
-To Kilrush such a transformation meant little short of lunacy. He
-was indignant at his kinsman's decadence; and when he gave a curt
-and almost uncivil nod to the poor dependent, bending over her plain
-needlework yonder betwixt sun and shade, it was because he suspected
-that pretty piece of lowborn pink-and-white to have some part in the
-change that had been wrought so suddenly.
-
-Two years ago, at an evening service in John Wesley's chapel at the
-Old Foundery, George Stobart had been "convinced of sin." Swift as
-the descent of the dove over the waters of the Jordan had been the
-awakening of his conscience from the long sleep of boyhood and youth.
-In that awful moment the depth of his iniquity had been opened to
-him, and he had discovered the hollowness of a life without God in
-the world. He had looked along the backward path of years, and had
-seen himself a child, drowsily enduring the familiar liturgy, sleeping
-through the hated sermon; a lad at Eton, making a jest of holy things,
-scorning any assumption of religion in his schoolfellows, insolent
-to his masters, arrogant and uncharitable, shirking everything that
-did not minister to his own pleasures or his own aims, studious only
-in the pursuit of selfish ambitions, dreaming of future greatness to
-be won amidst the carnage of battles as ruthless, as unnecessary, as
-Malplaquet.
-
-And following those early years of self-love and impiety there had
-come a season of darker sins, of the sins which prosperous youth calls
-pleasure, sins that had sat so lightly on the slumbering conscience,
-but which filled the awakened soul with horror.
-
-His first impulse after that spiritual regeneration was to sell out
-of the army. This was the one tangible and irrevocable sacrifice that
-lay in his power. The more he loved a soldier's career, the more
-ardently he had aspired to military renown, the more obvious was the
-duty of renunciation. The treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle had but just been
-concluded, and the troubles in America had not begun, so there seemed
-no chance of his regiment being sent on active service, but his conduct
-seemed not the less extraordinary to his commanding officer.
-
-"Do you do this to please your mother?" he asked.
-
-"No, sir; I do it to please Christ."
-
-The colonel rapped his forehead significantly as Stobart left the room.
-
-"Another victim of the Oxford Methodists," he said. "If they
-are allowed to go on, England will be peopled with hare-brained
-enthusiasts, and we shall have neither soldiers nor sailors."
-
-Mrs. Stobart was furious with her son for his abandonment of a career
-in which she had expected him to win distinction. For some months after
-his "call" she had refused to speak to him, and had left him to his
-solitary meditations in his own rooms at Stobart Lodge. In this gloomy
-period they had met only at meals, and it had vexed her to see that
-her son took no wine, and refused all the daintier dishes upon the
-table, all those ragouts and salmis that adorned the board in sumptuous
-covered dishes of Georgian silver, and which were the pride of cook and
-dinner-giver.
-
-"I give myself a useless trouble in looking at the bill of fare every
-morning," Mrs. Stobart said angrily, as the side dishes were removed
-untasted, breaking in upon a melancholy silence that had lasted from
-the soup to the game. "God knows I need little for myself; but you used
-to appreciate a good dinner."
-
-"I have learnt to appreciate higher things, madam."
-
-"I might as well order a leg of mutton and a suet pudding every day in
-the week."
-
-"Indeed, my dear mother, I desire nothing better."
-
-"With a cook at forty guineas a year!"
-
-"Dismiss her, and let the kitchen wench dress our simple meals."
-
-"And make myself a laughing-stock to my friends."
-
-"To your idle acquaintances only--friends esteem us for deeper reasons.
-Ah, madam, if you would but hearken to the voices I hear, court the
-friends I love, you would scorn the worldling's life as I scorn it. To
-the heir of a boundless estate in the Kingdom of Heaven 'tis idle to
-waste thought and toil upon a trumpery speck of earth."
-
-"Oh, those Oxford Methodists! You have caught their jargon. I am a good
-Churchwoman, George, and I hate cant."
-
-"You are a good woman, madam. But what is it to be a good Churchwoman?
-To attend a morning service once a week in a church where there is
-neither charity nor enthusiasm, upon whose dull decorum the hungry
-and the naked dare not intrude--a service that takes no cognizance of
-sinners, save in a formula that the lips repeat while the heart remains
-dead; to eat a cold dinner on the Sabbath in order that your servants
-may join in the same heartless mockery of worship; to listen to the
-barren dogma of a preacher whose life you know for evil, and whose
-intellect you despise."
-
-Mother and son had many such conversations--oases in a desert of
-sullen silence--before Mrs. Stobart's conversion; but that conversion
-came at last, partly by the preaching of John Wesley, whom her son
-worshipped, and partly by the influence of Lady Huntingdon and other
-ladies of birth and fortune, whose example appealed to the fashionable
-Maria Stobart as no meaner example could have done. She began to
-think less scornfully of the Great Revival when she found her equals
-in rank among the most ardent followers of Whitefield and the Wesleys:
-and within a year of her son's awakening she, too, became convinced of
-sin, the firstfruits of which conversion were shown by the dismissal
-of her forty-guinea cook, her second footman, the third stable
-servant, and the sale of a fine pair of carriage-horses. She had even
-contemplated dispensing with her own maid, but was prevented by a sense
-of her patrician incapability of getting into her clothes or out of
-them without help. She made, perhaps, a still greater sacrifice by
-changing her dressmaker from a Parisienne in St. James's to a woman at
-Kennington, who worked for the Quaker families on Denmark Hill.
-
-After about ten minutes' conversation with this lady, of whose mental
-capacity he had but a poor opinion, Lord Kilrush invited her son to
-a turn in the fruit garden--a garden planned fifty years before, and
-maintained in all the perfection of espaliered walks and herbacious
-borders, masking the spacious area devoted to celery, asparagus,
-and the homelier vegetables. High brick walls, heavily buttressed,
-surmounted this garden on three sides, the fourth side being divided
-from lawn and parterre by a ten-foot yew hedge. At the further end,
-making a central point in the distance, there was a handsome red-brick
-orangery, flanked on either side by a hothouse, while at one angle of
-the wall an octagonal summer-house of two stories overlooked the whole,
-and afforded an extensive view of the open country across the river,
-from Notting Hill to Harrow. Established wealth and comfort could
-hardly find a better indication than in this delightful garden.
-
-"Upon my soul," cried Kilrush, "you have a little paradise in this _rus
-in urbe!_ Come, George, I am glad to see you look so well in health,
-and I hope soon to be gratified by seeing you make an end of your crazy
-life, and return to a world you were created to serve and adorn. If the
-army will not please you, there is the political arena open to every
-young man of means and talent. I should like to see your name rank with
-the Townsends and the Pelhams before I die."
-
-"I have no taste for politics, sir; and for my crazy life, sure it
-lasted seven and twenty years, and came to a happy ending two years
-ago."
-
-"Nine and twenty! Faith, George, that's too old for foolery. John
-Wesley was a lad at college, and Whitefield was scarce out of his teens
-when he gave himself up to these pious hallucinations; and they were
-both penniless youths who must needs begin their journey without scrip
-or sack. But you, a man of fortune, a soldier, one of the young heroes
-of Fontenoy, that you could be caught by the rhapsodies that carry
-away a London mob of shop-boys and servant-wenches, or a throng of
-semi-savage coal-miners at Kingswood, in that contagion of enthusiasm
-to which crowds are subject--that _you_ could turn Methodist! Pah, it
-makes me sick to think of your folly!"
-
-"Perhaps some day your lordship will come over and help us. After my
-mother's conversion there is no heart so stubborn that I should despair
-of its being changed."
-
-"Your mother is a fool! Well, I don't want to quarrel with you, so
-we'll argue no further. After all, in a young man these follies are but
-passing clouds. Had you not taken so serious a step as to leave the
-army I should scarcely have vexed myself on your account. By the way,
-who is that seamstress person I saw sitting on the lawn, and whom I
-have seen here before to-day?"
-
-His eyes were on George's face, and the conscious flush he expected to
-see passed over the young man's cheek and brow as he spoke.
-
-"She is a girl whose conscience was awakened in the same hour that saw
-my redemption; she is my twin-sister in Christ."
-
-"That I can understand," said Kilrush, with the air of humouring a
-madman, "but why the devil do I find her established here?"
-
-"She is the daughter of a journeyman printer, her mother a drunkard
-and her father an atheist. Her home was a hell upon earth. Her case
-had been brought before Mr. Wesley, who was touched by her unaffected
-piety. I heard her history from his lips, and made it my duty to rescue
-her from her vile associations."
-
-"How came you by the knowledge of your spiritual twinship?"
-
-"She was seated near me in the meeting-house, and I was the witness of
-her agitation, of the Pentecostal flame that set her spirit on fire; I
-saw her fall from the bench, with her forehead bent almost to the floor
-on which she knelt. Her whole frame was convulsed with sobs which she
-strove with all her might to restrain. I tried to raise her from the
-ground, but her ice-cold hand repulsed mine, and the kneeling figure
-was as rigid as if it had been marble."
-
-"A cataleptic seizure, perhaps. Your Brotherhood of the Foundery has
-much to answer for."
-
-"It has many to answer for," George retorted indignantly--"thousands of
-souls rescued from Satan."
-
-"Had that meek-looking young woman been one of his votaries? If so,
-I wonder your mother consented to harbour her. It is one thing to
-entertain angels unawares, but knowingly to receive devils----"
-
-"Scoff as you will, sir, but do not slander a virtuous girl because she
-happens to be of low birth."
-
-"If she was not a sinner, why this convulsion of remorse for sin? I
-cannot conceive the need of self-humiliation in youth that has never
-gone astray."
-
-"Does your lordship think it is enough to have lived what the world
-calls a moral life, never to have been caught in the toils of vice?
-The fall from virtue is a terrible thing; but there is a state of sin
-more deadly than Mary Magdalen's. There is the sin of the infidel who
-denies Christ; there is the sin of the ignorant and the unthinking, who
-has lived aloof from God. It was to the conviction of such a state that
-Lucy Foreman was awakened that night."
-
-"Did you enter into conversation with her after the--the remarkable
-experience?" asked Kilrush, with a cynical devilry lighting his dark
-grey eyes as he watched his young kinsman's face.
-
-It was a fine frank face, with well-cut features and eyes of the same
-dark grey as his lordship's, a face that had well become the dragoon's
-Roman headgear, and which had a certain poetical air to-day with the
-unpowdered brown hair thrown carelessly back from the broad forehead.
-
-"No, it was not till long after that night that I introduced myself to
-her. It was not till after my mother's conversion that I could hope
-to win her friendship for this recruit of Christ. I had heard Lucy's
-story in the mean-time, and I knew that she was worthy of all that our
-friendship could do for her."
-
-"And you persuaded your mother to take her into her service?"
-
-"She is not a servant," George said quickly.
-
-"What else?"
-
-"She is useful to my mother--works with her needle, attends to the
-aviary, and to the flowers in the drawing-room----"
-
-"All that sounds like a servant."
-
-"We do not treat her as a servant."
-
-"Does she sit at table with you?"
-
-"No. She has her meals in the housekeeper's room. It is my mother's
-arrangement, not mine."
-
-"You would have her at the same table with the granddaughter of the
-seventeenth Baron Kilrush?"
-
-"I have ceased to consider petty distinctions. To me the premier duke
-is of no more importance than Lucy Foreman's infidel father--a soul to
-be saved or lost."
-
-"George," said Kilrush, gravely, "let me tell you, as your kinsman and
-friend, that you are in danger of making a confounded mess of your
-life."
-
-"I don't follow you."
-
-"Oh yes, you do. You know very well what I mean. You have played the
-fool badly enough already, by selling your commission. But there are
-lower depths of folly. When a man begins to talk as you do, and to
-hanker after some pretty bit of plebeian pink-and-white, one knows
-which way he is drifting."
-
-He paused, expecting an answer, but George walked beside him in a moody
-silence.
-
-"There is one mistake which neither fate nor the world ever forgives
-in a man," pursued Kilrush, "and that is an ignoble marriage; it is an
-error whose consequences stick to him for the whole course of his life,
-and he can no more shake off the indirect disadvantages of the act
-than he can shake off his lowborn wife and her lowborn kin. I will go
-further, George, and say that if you make such a marriage I will never
-forgive you, never see your face again."
-
-"Your lordship's threats are premature. I have not asked your
-permission to marry, and I have not given you the slightest ground for
-supposing that I contemplate marriage."
-
-"Oh yes, you have. That young woman yonder is ground enough for my
-apprehension. You would not have intruded her upon your home if you
-were not _epris_. Take a friendly counsel from a man of the world,
-George, and remember that although my title dies with me, my fortune is
-at my disposal, and that you are my natural heir."
-
-"Oh, sir, that would be the very last consideration to influence me."
-
-"Sure I know you are stubborn and hot-headed, or you would not have
-abandoned a soldier's career without affording me the chance to
-dissuade you. I came here to-day on purpose to give you this warning.
-'Twas my duty, and I have done it."
-
-He gave a sigh of relief, as if he had flung off a troublesome burden.
-
-As they turned to go back to the lawn, Lucy Foreman came to meet
-them--a slim figure of medium height, a pretty mouth and a _nez
-retrousse_, reddish brown hair with a ripple in it, the pink and white
-of youth in her complexion; but her feet and ankles, her hands and
-her ears, the "points," to which the connoisseur's eye looked, had a
-certain coarseness.
-
-"Not even a casual strain of blue blood here," thought Kilrush; "but
-'tis true I have seen duchesses as coarsely moulded."
-
-She had come at her mistress's order to invite them to a dish of tea
-on the lawn. Kilrush assented, though it was but five o'clock, and he
-had not dined. They walked by the damsel's side to the table under
-the plane, where the tea-board was set ready. Having given expression
-to his opinion, his lordship was not disinclined to become better
-acquainted with this Helen of the slums, so that he might better
-estimate his cousin's peril. She resumed her distant chair and her
-needlework, as Kilrush and George sat down to tea, and was not invited
-to share that elegant refreshment. The young man's vexed glance in
-her direction would have been enough to betray his _penchant_ for the
-humble companion.
-
-Mrs. Stobart forgot herself so far as to question her cousin about
-some of the fine people whose society she had renounced.
-
-"Though I no longer go to their houses I have not ceased to see them,"
-she said. "We meet at Lady Huntingdon's. Lady Chesterfield and Lady
-Coventry are really converts; but I fear most of my former friends
-resort to that admirable woman's assemblies out of curiosity rather
-than from a searching for the truth."
-
-"Her _protege_, Whitefield, has had as rapid a success as Garrick or
-Barry," said Kilrush. "He is a powerful orator of a theatrical type,
-and not to have heard him preach is to be out of the fashion. I myself
-stood in the blazing sun at Moorfields to hear him, when he first began
-to be cried up; but having heard him I am satisfied. The show was a
-fine show, but once is enough."
-
-"There are but too many of your stamp, Kilrush. Some good seed must
-ever fall on stony places; yet the harvest has been rich enough to
-reward those who toil in the vineyard--rich in promise of a day when
-there shall be no more railing and no more doubt."
-
-"And when the lion shall lie down with the lamb, and Frederick and
-Maria Theresa shall love each other like brother and sister, and France
-shall be satisfied with less than half the earth," said Kilrush,
-lightly. "You have a pretty little maid yonder," he added in a lower
-voice, when George had withdrawn from the tea-table, and seemed
-absorbed in a book.
-
-"She is not my maid, she is a brand snatched from the burning. I am
-keeping her till I can place her in some household where she will be
-safe herself, and a well-spring of refreshing grace for those with whom
-she lives."
-
-"And in the mean time, don't you think there may be a certain danger
-for your son in such close proximity with a pretty girl--of that tender
-age?"
-
-"My son! Danger for my son in the society of a journeyman's daughter--a
-girl who can but just read and write? My good Kilrush, I am astounded
-that you could entertain such a thought."
-
-"I'm glad you consider my apprehensions groundless," said his lordship,
-stifling a yawn as he rose to take leave. "Poor silly woman," he
-thought. "Well, I have done my duty. But it would have been wiser to
-omit that hint to the mother. If she should plague her son about his
-_penchant_, ten to one 'twill make matters worse. An affair of that
-kind thrives on opposition."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-A WOMAN WHO COULD SAY NO.
-
-
-Lord Kilrush allowed nearly a month to elapse before he reappeared in
-Rupert Buildings. He had absented himself in the hope that Antonia
-would miss his company; and her bright smile of welcome told him that
-his policy had been wise. She had, indeed, forgotten the sudden gust
-of passion that had scared her by a suggestion of strangeness in the
-friend she had trusted. She had been very busy since that evening. Her
-father's play was in rehearsal, and while Thornton spent his days at
-Drury Lane and his nights at "The Portico," she had to do most of his
-magazine work, chiefly translations of essays or tales by Voltaire or
-Diderot, and even to elaborate such scraps of news as he brought her
-for the _St. James's, Lloyd's,_ or the _Evening Post,_ all which papers
-opened their columns to gossip about the town.
-
-"What the devil has become of Kilrush?" Thornton had ejaculated several
-times. "He used to bring me the last intelligence from White's and the
-Cocoa Tree."
-
-He had called more than once in St. James's Square during the interval,
-but had not succeeded in seeing his friend and patron. And now Kilrush
-reappeared, with as easy a friendliness as if there had been no break
-in his visits. He brought a posy of late roses for Antonia, the only
-offering he ever made her whom he would fain have covered with jewels
-richer than stud the thrones of Indian Emperors.
-
-"'Tis very long since we have seen your lordship," Tonia said, as he
-seated himself on the opposite side of the Pembroke table that was
-spread with her papers and books. "If my father had not called at your
-house and been told that you were in fairly good health we should have
-feared you were ill, since we know we have done nothing to offend you."
-
-Her sweet simplicity of speech, the directness of her lovely gaze smote
-him to the heart. Still--still she trusted him, still treated him as
-if he had been a benevolent uncle, while his heart beat high with a
-passion that it was a struggle to hide. Yet he was not without hope,
-for in her confiding sweetness he saw signs of a growing regard.
-
-"And was I indeed so happy as to be missed by you?"
-
-"We missed you much--you have been so kind to my father, bringing him
-the news of the town; and you have been still kinder to me in helping
-me with your criticism of our comedy."
-
-"'Twas a privilege to advise so intelligent an author. I have been much
-occupied since I saw you last, and concerned about a cousin of mine who
-is in a bad way."
-
-"I hope he is not ill of the fever that has been so common of late."
-
-"No, 'tis not a bodily sickness. His fever is the Methodist rant. He
-has taken the new religion."
-
-"Poor man!" said Tonia, with good-humoured scorn.
-
-She had heard none of the new preachers; but all she had been told, or
-had read about them, appealed to her sense of the ridiculous. She had
-been so imbued with the contempt for all religious observances, that
-she could feel nothing but a wondering pity for people whose thoughts
-and lives could be influenced by a two-hours' sermon in the open air.
-To this young votaress of pure reason the enthusiasm of crowds seemed a
-fanatical possession tending towards a cell in Bedlam.
-
-"Unhappily, the disease is complicated by another fever, for the
-fellow is in love with a simpering piece of prettiness that he and his
-mother have picked out of a Moorfields' gutter; and my apprehension is
-that this disciple of Evangelical humility will forget that he is a
-gentleman and marry a housemaid."
-
-"Would you be very angry with him?"
-
-"Yes, Miss Thornton; and he would feel the consequences of my anger to
-his dying day--for, so far as my fortune goes, I should leave him a
-beggar."
-
-"Has he no fortune of his own?"
-
-"I believe he has a pittance--a something in the funds left him by
-an uncle on his father's side. But his mother's estate is at her own
-disposal; she is a handsome woman still, and may cheat him by a second
-marriage."
-
-"Do you think it so great a crime for a gentleman to marry his
-inferior?"
-
-"Oh, I have old-fashioned notions, perhaps. I think a man of good
-family should marry in his own rank, if he can't marry above it. He
-should never have to apologize for his wife, or for her kindred. 'Tis
-a foolish Irish pride that we Delafields have cherished; but up to
-this present hour there is not a label upon our family tree that I am
-ashamed to recall."
-
-"I think my father told me that your lordship's wife was a duke's
-daughter."
-
-"My wife was a----"
-
-He had started to his feet at Tonia's speech, in angry agitation. He
-had never been able to forgive the wife who had disgraced him, or
-to think of her with common charity, though he had carried off his
-mortification with a well-acted indifference, and though it was ten
-years since that frail offender had come to the end of her wandering in
-a cemetery outside the walls of Florence.
-
-"Miss Thornton, for God's sake let us talk of pleasant things, not of
-wives or husbands. Marriage is the gate of hell."
-
-"Sure, my lord, there must be happy marriages."
-
-"Enough to serve as baits to hook fools. I grant you there are
-marriages that seem happy--nay, I will say that are happy--but 'tis not
-the less a fact that to chain a man and woman to each other for life
-is the way to make them the deadliest enemies. The marriage bond was
-invented to keep estates together, not to bind hearts."
-
-Tonia listened with a thoughtful air, but gave no sign of assent.
-
-"Surely you must agree with me," he continued--"you who have been
-taught to take a philosophical view of life."
-
-"I have never applied my philosophy to the subject; but my comedy ends
-with a happy marriage. I should be sorry to think that 'twas like a
-fairy tale, and that there are no lovers as noble as Dorifleur, no
-women as happy as Rosalia."
-
-"It _is_ a fairy tale, dear madam; 'tis the unlikeness to life that
-charms us. We go to the play on purpose to be deluded by pictures
-of impossible felicity--men of never-to-be-shaken valour, women of
-incorruptible virtue, shadows that please us in a three-hours' dream,
-and which have no parallels in flesh and blood."
-
-"For my own part I am disinterested, for 'tis unlikely I shall ever
-marry."
-
-"Do not. If you would be virtuous, remain free. It is the bond that
-makes the dishonour."
-
-Antonia looked at him with a puzzled air, slow to follow his drift. He
-saw that he had gone too far, and was in danger of displeasing her.
-
-"What curious creatures women are!" he thought. "Here is an avowed
-infidel who seems inexpressibly shocked because I decry the marriage
-ceremony. What formalists they are at best! If they are not in fear of
-the day of judgment they tremble at the notion of being ill-spoken of
-by their neighbours. I'll warrant this sweet girl is as anxious to keep
-her landlady's good opinion as George Whitefield is to go to heaven."
-
-He talked to her of the comedy. It was to be acted on the following
-Monday.
-
-"I have secured a side-box, and I count upon being honoured with the
-company of the joint authors," he said.
-
-Tonia's eyes sparkled at the thought of her triumph. To have her words
-spoken by David Garrick--by the lovely Mrs. Pritchard--to sit unseen in
-the shadow of the curtained side-box, while her daydreams took form and
-substance in the light of the oil lamps!
-
-"My father and I will be proud to have such good places," she said. "We
-usually sit at the back of the pit when Mr. Garrick is kind enough to
-give us a pass. Father has given me a silk gown from Hilditch's in the
-city, the first I have had."
-
-"If you would suffer me to add a pearl necklace," cried Kilrush,
-thinking of a certain string of Oriental pearls which was almost an
-heirloom, and which he remembered on his mother's neck forty years ago.
-He had taken the red morocco case out of an iron coffer not long since,
-and had looked at the ornament, longing to clasp it round Tonia's
-throat. The hands that held the case trembled a little as he imagined
-the moment when he should fasten the diamond clasp on that exquisite
-neck.
-
-"You are too generous, sir. I take gifts from no one but my father,
-except, indeed, the roses you are so kind as to bring me."
-
-"Happy roses, to win acceptance where pearls are scorned! The necklace
-was my mother's, and has been wasting in darkness for near half a
-century. She died before I went to Eton. Would you but let me lend it
-to you--only to air the pearls."
-
-"No, no, no; no borrowed finery! I should hate to play the daw in
-peacocks' feathers."
-
-"You are a contradictory creature, madam; but you would have to be more
-cruel and more cutting than a north-east wind before I would quarrel
-with you."
-
-His lordship's visits now became more frequent than at first; and Tonia
-received him with unvarying kindness, whether he found her alone or in
-her father's company. Her calm assurance was so strangely in advance of
-her years and position that he could but think she owed it to having
-mixed so little with her own sex, and thus having escaped all taint
-of self-consciousness or coquetry. She listened to his opinions with
-respect, but was not afraid to argue with him. She made no secret of
-her pleasure in his society, and owned to finding the afternoons or
-evenings vastly dull on which he did not appear.
-
-"I should miss you still more if I had not my translating work," she
-said; "but that keeps me busy and amused."
-
-"And you find that old dry-as-dust Voltaire amusing!"
-
-"I never find him dry as dust. He is my father's favourite author."
-
-The comedy was well received, and Thornton was made much of by Mr.
-Garrick and all the actors. No one was informed of Antonia's share in
-the work, or suspected that the handsome young woman in a yellow silk
-sacque had so much to do with the success of the evening. Patty Lester
-triumphed in her brief but effective _role_ of a tomboy younger sister,
-an improvement on the conventional confidante, and was rapturously
-grateful to Mr. Thornton, and more than ever reproachful of Antonia for
-deserting her.
-
-"You have taken an aversion to the Piazza," she said with an offended
-air.
-
-"On my honour, no, Patty; but I have been so constantly occupied in
-helping my father."
-
-"I shall scold him for making a slave of you."
-
-"No, no, you must not. Be sure that I love you, even if I do not go to
-see you."
-
-"But I am not sure. I cannot be sure. You have grown distant of late,
-and more of a fine lady than you was last year."
-
-Antonia blushed, and promised to take tea with her friend next day. She
-was conscious of a certain distaste for Patty's company, but still more
-for Patty's casual visitors; but the chief influence had been Kilrush's
-urgent objections to the young actress's society.
-
-"I aver nothing against the creature's morality," he said; "but she
-is a mercenary little devil, and encourages any coxcomb who will
-substantiate his flatteries with a present. I have watched her at
-the side-scenes with a swarm of such gadflies buzzing round her. On
-my soul, dear Miss Thornton, 'twould torture me to think of you the
-cynosure of Miss Lester's circle."
-
-Tonia laughed off the warning, swore she was very fond of Patty, and
-would on no account desert her.
-
-"I hope you do not think I can value fools above their merits when
-I have the privilege of knowing a man of sense like your lordship,"
-she said, and the easy tone of her compliment chilled him, as all her
-friendly speeches did. Alas! would she ever cease to trust him as a
-friend, and begin to fear him as a lover?
-
-"It is my age that makes my case hopeless," he thought, musing upon
-this love which had long since become the absorbing subject of his
-meditations. "If I had been twenty years younger how easily might I
-have won her, for 'tis so obvious she loves my company. She sparkles
-and revives at my coming, like a drooping flower at a sprinkle of
-summer rain. But, oh, how wide the difference between loving my
-company and loving me! Shall I ever bridge the abyss? Shall I ever
-see those glorious eyes droop under my gaze, that transcendent form
-agitated by a heart that passion sets beating?"
-
-Again and again he found her alone among her books and manuscripts, for
-Thornton, being now flush of money, spent most of his time abroad. He
-sported a new suit, finer than any his daughter had ever seen him wear,
-and had an air of rakish gaiety that shocked her. The comedy seemed a
-gold mine, for he had always a guinea at command. He no longer allowed
-his daughter to fetch and carry between him and his employers. She must
-trapes no more along the familiar Strand to Fleet Street. He employed
-a messenger for this vulgar drudgery. He urged her to buy herself new
-hats and gowns, and to put her toilet on a handsome footing.
-
-"Sure, so lovely a girl ought to set off her beauty," he said.
-
-"Dear sir, I would rather see you save your money against sickness
-or----"
-
-She was going to say "old age," but checked herself, with a tender
-delicacy.
-
-"Hang saving! I had never a miser's temper. Davy shall take our next
-play. You had best stick to Spanish, and find me a plot in De Vega or
-Moratin, and not plague yourself about scraping a guinea or two."
-
-'Twas heavenly fine weather and more than a year since Kilrush and
-Antonia first met at Mrs. Mandalay's ball; and the close friendship
-between the _blase_ worldling and the inexperienced girl had become a
-paramount influence in the life of each. The hours Antonia spent in his
-lordship's company were the happiest she had ever known, and the days
-when he did not come had a grey dulness that was a new sensation. The
-sound of his step on the stair put her in good spirits, and she was all
-smiles when he entered the room.
-
-"I swear you have the happiest disposition," he said one day; "your
-face radiates sunshine."
-
-"Oh, but I have my dull hours."
-
-"Indeed! And when be they?"
-
-"When you are not here."
-
-Her bright and fearless outlook as she said the words showed him how
-far she was from divining a passion that had grown and strengthened in
-every hour of their companionship.
-
-They talked of every subject under the sun. He had travelled much, as
-travelling went in those days; had read much, and had learnt still
-more from intercourse with the brightest minds of the age. He showed
-her the better side of his nature, the man he might have been had he
-never abandoned himself to the vices that the world calls pleasures.
-They talked often about religion; and though he had cast in his lot
-with the Deists before he left Oxford, it shocked him to find a young
-and innocent woman lost to all sense of natural piety. Her father had
-trained her to scorn all creeds, and to rank the Christian faith no
-higher than the most revolting or the most imbecile superstitions of
-India or the South Seas. She had read Voltaire before she read the
-gospel; and that inexorable pen had cast a blight over the sacred
-pages, and infused the poison of a malignant satire into the fountain
-of living waters. Kilrush praised her independence of spirit, and
-exulted in the thought that a woman who believed in nothing had nothing
-to lose outside the region of material advantages, and, convinced of
-this, felt sure that he could make her life happy.
-
-And thus, seeing himself secure of her liking, he flung the fatal die
-and declared his love.
-
-They were alone together in the June afternoon, as they so often were.
-He had met Thornton at the entrance to the court, trudging off to
-Adelphi Terrace, to wait upon Mr. Garrick; so he thought himself secure
-of an hour's _tete-a-tete_. She welcomed him with unconcealed pleasure,
-pushed aside her papers, took the bunch of roses that he carried her
-with her prettiest curtsey, and then busied herself in arranging the
-nosegay in a willow-pattern Worcester bowl, while he laid down his hat
-and cane, and took his accustomed seat by her writing-table. They were
-cabbage roses, and made a great mass of glowing pink above the dark
-blue of the bowl. She looked at them delightedly, handled them with
-delicate touch, fingers light as Titania's, and then stopped in the
-midst of her pleasant task, surprised at his silence.
-
-"How pale your lordship looks! I hope you are not ill?"
-
-He stretched out his hand and caught hers, wet and perfumed with the
-roses.
-
-"Antonia, my love, my divinity, this comedy of friendship must end.
-Dear girl, do you not know that I adore you?"
-
-She tried to draw her hand from his grasp, and looked at him with
-unutterable astonishment, but not in anger.
-
-"You are surprised! Did you think that I could come here day after day,
-for a year--see you and hear you, be your friend and companion--and not
-love you? By Heaven, child, you must have thought me the dullest clay
-that ever held a human soul, if you could think so."
-
-She looked at him still, mute and grave, deep blushes dyeing her
-cheeks, and her eyes darkly serious.
-
-"Indeed, your lordship, I have never thought of you but as of a friend
-whose kindness honoured me beyond my deserts. Your rank, and the
-difference of our ages, prevented me from thinking of you as a suitor."
-
-He started, and dropped her hand; and his face, which had flushed as he
-talked to her, grew pale again.
-
-"Great God!" he thought, "she takes my avowal of love for an offer of
-marriage."
-
-He would not have her deceived in his intentions for an instant. He had
-not always been fair and above-board in his dealings with women; but to
-this one he could not lie.
-
-"Your suitor, in the vulgar sense of the word, I can never be,
-Antonia," he said gravely. "Twenty years ago, when my wife eloped with
-the friend I most trusted, and when I discovered that I had been a
-twelve-months' laughing-stock for the town--by one section supposed the
-complacent husband, by another the blind fool I really was--in that
-hateful hour I swore that I would never again give a woman the power of
-dishonouring my name. My heart might break from a jilt's ill-usage--but
-_that_, the name which belongs not to me only, but to all of my race
-who have borne it in the past or who will bear it in the future--that
-should be out of the power of woman's misconduct. And so to you whom
-I love with a passion more profound, more invincible than this heart
-ever felt for another since it began to beat, I cannot offer a legal
-tie; but I lay my adoring heart, my life, my fortune at your feet, and
-I swear to cleave to you and honour you with a constant and devoted
-affection which no husband upon this earth can surpass."
-
-He tried to take her hand again, but she drew herself away from him
-with a superb gesture of mingled surprise and scorn.
-
-"There was nothing further from my mind than that you could desire to
-marry me, except that you should wish to degrade me," she said in a
-voice graver than his own.
-
-Her face was colourless, but she stood erect and firm, and had no look
-of swooning.
-
-"Degrade you? Do you call it degradation to be the idol of my life,
-to be the beloved companion of a man who can lavish all this world
-knows of luxury and pleasure upon your lot, who will carry you to the
-fairest spots of earth, show you all that is noblest in art and nature,
-all that makes the bliss of intelligent beings, who will protect your
-interests by the most generous settlements ever made by a lover?"
-
-"Oh, my lord, stop your inventory of temptation!" exclaimed Antonia.
-"The price you offer is extravagant, but I am not for sale. I thought
-you were my friend--indeed, for me you had become a dear and cherished
-friend. I was deceived, cruelly deceived! I shall know better another
-time when a man of your rank pretends to offer me the equality of
-friendship!"
-
-There were tears in her eyes in spite of her courage, in which Roman
-virtue she far surpassed the average woman.
-
-"Curse my rank!" he cried angrily. "It is myself I offer--myself and
-all that I hold of worldly advantages. What can my name matter to
-you--to you of all women, friendless and alone in the world, your
-existence unknown to more than some half-dozen people? _I_ stand on
-a height where the arrows of ridicule fly thick and fast. Were I to
-marry a young woman--I who was deceived and deserted by a handsome
-wife before I was thirty--you cannot conceive what a storm of ridicule
-I should provoke, how Selwyn would coruscate with wit at my expense,
-and Horry Walpole scatter his contemptuous comments on my folly over
-half the continent of Europe. I suffered that kind of agony once--knew
-myself the target of all the wits and slanderers in London. I will not
-suffer it again!"
-
-He was pacing the room, which was too small for the fever of his
-mind. To be refused without an instant's hesitation, as if he had
-tried to make a queen his mistress! To be scorned by Bill Thornton's
-daughter--Thornton, the old jail-bird whom he had helped to get out
-of prison--the fellow who had been sponging on him more or less for a
-score of years, most of all in this last year!
-
-He looked back at his conquests of the past. How triumphant, how easy
-they were; and what trumpery victories they seemed, as he recalled them
-in the bitterness of his disappointment to-day.
-
-Tonia stood by the open window, listening mechanically to the roll
-of wheels which rose and fell in the distance with a rhythmical
-monotony, like the sound of a summer sea. Kilrush stopped in his angry
-perambulation, saw her in tears, and flew to her side on the instant.
-
-"My beloved girl, those tears inspire me with hope. If you were
-indifferent you would not weep."
-
-"I weep for the death of our friendship," she answered sorrowfully.
-
-"You should smile at the birth of our love. Great Heaven! what is there
-to stand between us and consummate bliss?"
-
-"Your own resolve, my lord. You are determined to take no second wife;
-and I am determined to be no man's mistress. Be sure that in all our
-friendship I never thought of marriage, nor of courtship--I never
-angled for a noble husband. But when you profess yourself my lover, I
-must needs give you a plain answer."
-
-"Tonia, surely your soul can rise above trivial prejudices! You who
-have boldly avowed your scorn of Churchmen and their creeds, who have
-neither hope of heaven nor fear of hell, can you think the tie between
-a man and woman who love as we do--yes, dearest, I protest you love
-me--can you believe that bond more sacred for being mumbled by a
-priest, or stronger for being scrawled in a parish register? By Heaven,
-I thought you had a spirit too lofty for vulgar superstitions!"
-
-"There is one superstition I shall ever hold by--the belief that there
-are honest women in the world."
-
-"Pshaw, child! Be but true to the man who adores you, and you will be
-the honestest of your sex. Fidelity to her lover is honour in woman;
-and she is the more virtuous who is constant without being bound. Nance
-Oldfield, the honestest woman I ever knew, never wore a wedding-ring."
-
-"I think, sir," she began in a low and earnest voice that thrilled him,
-"there are two kinds of women--those who can suffer a life of shame,
-and those who cannot."
-
-"Say rather, madam, that there are women with hearts and women without.
-You are of the latter species. Under the exquisite lines of the bosom I
-worship nature has placed a block of ice instead of a heart."
-
-A street cry went wailing by like a dirge, "Strawberries, ripe
-strawberries. Who'll buy my strawberries?"
-
-Kilrush wiped the cold dampness from his forehead, and resumed his
-pacing up and down, then stopped suddenly and surveyed the room,
-flinging up his hands in a passionate horror.
-
-"Good God! that you should exist in such a hovel as this, while my
-great empty house waits for you, while my coach-and-six is ready to
-carry us on the road to an Italian paradise! There is a villa at
-Fiesole, on a hill above Florence. Oh, to have you there in the spring
-sunshine, among the spring flowers, all my own, my sweet companion,
-_animae dimidium meae,_ the dearer half of my soul. Antonia, if you are
-obstinate and reject me, you will drive me mad!"
-
-He dropped into a chair, with his head averted from her, and hid his
-face in his hands. She saw his whole frame shaken by his sobs. She had
-never seen a man cry before, and the spectacle unnerved her. If she
-could have yielded--if that stubborn pride of womanhood, which was her
-armour against the tempter, could have given way, it would have been at
-the sight of his tears. For a moment her lot trembled in the balance.
-She longed to kneel at his feet, to promise him anything he could ask
-rather than to see his distress; but pride came to the rescue.
-
-Choking with tears, she rushed to the door.
-
-"Farewell, sir," she sobbed; "farewell for ever."
-
-She ran downstairs to the bottom of the house, and to Mrs. Potter's
-parlour behind the kitchen, empty at this hour, where she threw
-herself upon the narrow horsehair sofa, and sobbed heart-brokenly.
-Yet even in the midst of her weeping she listened for the familiar
-step upon the stairs above, and for the opening and shutting of the
-street door. It was at least ten minutes before she heard Kilrush leave
-the house, and then his footfall was so heavy that it sounded like a
-stranger's.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-PRIDE CONQUERS LOVE.
-
-
-Except the awful, the inexorable blank that Death leaves in the heart
-of the mourner, there is no vacancy of mind more agonizing than that
-which follows the defeat of a lover and the sudden cessation of an
-adored companionship. To Kilrush the whole world seemed of one dull
-grey after he had lost Antonia. The town, the company of which he had
-long been weary, now became actually hateful, and his only desire was
-to rush to some remote spot of earth where the very fact of distance
-might help him to forget the woman he loved. A man of a softer nature
-would have yielded to his charmer's objections, and sacrificed his
-pride to his love; but with Kilrush, pride--long-cherished pride of
-race and name--and a certain stubborn power of will prevailed over
-inclination. He suffered, but was resolute. He told himself that
-Antonia was cold and calculating, and unworthy of a generous passion
-like his. She counted, perhaps, on conquering his resolve, and making
-him marry her; and he took a vindictive pleasure in the thought of her
-vexation as the days went by without bringing him to her feet.
-
-"Farewell for ever," she had cried, yet had hoped, perhaps, to see him
-return to her to-morrow, like some small country squire, who thinks all
-England will be outraged if he marry beneath his rural importance, yet
-yields to an irresistible love for the miller's daughter or the village
-barmaid.
-
-"I have lived through too many fevers to die of this one," Kilrush
-thought, and braced his nerves to go on living, though all the colour
-seemed washed out of his life.
-
-While his heart was being lacerated by anger and regret, he was
-surprised by the appearance of his cousin, the _ci-devant_ captain
-of Dragoons, of whose existence he had taken no account since his
-afternoon visit to Clapham. He was in his library, a large room at the
-back of the house, looking into a small garden shadowed by an old brick
-wall, and overlooked by the back windows of Pall Mall, which looked
-down into it as into a green well. The room was lined with bookshelves
-from floor to ceiling, and the favourite calf binding of those days
-made a monotone of sombre brown, suggestive of gloom, even on a summer
-day, when the scent of stocks and mignonette was blown in through the
-open windows.
-
-Kilrush received his kinsman with cold civility.
-
-Not even in the splendour of his court uniform had George Stobart
-looked handsomer than to-day in his severely cut grey cloth coat
-and black silk waistcoat. There was a light in his eyes, a buoyant
-youthfulness in his aspect, which Kilrush observed with a pang of envy.
-Ah, had he been as young, Fate and Antonia might have been kinder.
-
-George put down his hat, and took the chair his cousin indicated,
-chilled somewhat by so distant a greeting.
-
-"I saw in _Lloyd's Evening Post_ that your lordship intended starting
-for the Continent," he began, "and I thought it my duty to wait upon
-you before you left town."
-
-"You are very good--and Lloyd is very impertinent--to take so much
-trouble about my movements. Yes, George, I am leaving England."
-
-"Do you go far, sir?"
-
-"Paris will be the first stage of my journey."
-
-"And afterwards?"
-
-"And afterwards? Kamschatka, perhaps, or--hell! I am fixed on nothing
-but to leave a town I loathe."
-
-George looked inexpressibly shocked.
-
-"I fear your lordship is out of health," he faltered.
-
-"Fear nothing, hope nothing about me, sir; I am inclined to detest my
-fellow-men. If you take that for a symptom of sickness, why then I am
-indeed out of health."
-
-"I am sorry I do not find you in happier spirits, sir, for I had a
-double motive in waiting on you."
-
-"So have most men--in all they do. Well, sir?"
-
-Kilrush threw himself back in his chair, and waited his cousin's
-communication with no more interest in his countenance or manner than
-if he were awaiting a petition from one of his footmen.
-
-Nothing could be more marked than the contrast between the two men,
-though their features followed the same lines, and the hereditary mark
-of an ancient race was stamped indelibly on each. A life of passionate
-excitement, self-will, pride, had wasted the form and features of the
-elder, and made him look older than his actual years. Yet in those
-attenuated features there was such exquisite refinement, in that
-almost colourless complexion such a high-bred delicacy, that for most
-women the elder face would have been the more attractive. There was a
-pathetic appeal in the countenance of the man who had lived his life,
-who had emptied the cup of earthly joys, and for whom nothing remained
-but decay.
-
-The young man's highest graces were his air of frankness and high
-courage, and his soldierly bearing, which three years among the
-Methodists had in no wise lessened. He had, indeed, in those years been
-still a soldier of the Church Militant, and had stood by John Wesley's
-side on more than one occasion when the missiles of a howling mob flew
-thick and fast around that hardy itinerant, and when riot threatened to
-end in murder.
-
-"Well, sir, your second motive--your _arriere pensee?_" Kilrush
-exclaimed impatiently, the young man having taken up his hat again, and
-being engaged in smoothing the beaver with a hand that shook ever so
-slightly.
-
-"You told me nearly a year ago, sir," he began, hardening himself
-for the encounter, "that you would never forgive me if I married
-my inferior--my inferior in the world's esteem, that is to say--an
-inferiority which I do not admit."
-
-"Hang your admissions, sir! I perfectly remember what I said to you,
-and I hope you took warning by it, and that my aunt found another place
-for her housemaid."
-
-"Your warning came too late. I had learnt to esteem Lucy Foreman at her
-just value. The housemaid, as your lordship is pleased to call her, is
-now my wife."
-
-"Then, sir, since you know my ultimatum, what the devil brings you to
-this house?"
-
-"I desired that you should hear what I have done from my lips, not from
-the public press."
-
-"You are monstrous civil! Well, I am not going to waste angry words
-upon you, but your name will come out of my will before I sleep; and
-from to-day we are strangers. I can hold no intercourse with a man who
-disgraces his name by a beggarly marriage. By Heaven, sir, if I loved
-to distraction, if my happiness, my peace, my power to endure this
-wretched life, depended upon my winning the idol of my soul, I would
-not give my name to a woman of low birth or discreditable connections!"
-
-He struck his clenched fist upon the table in front of him with a wild
-vehemence that took his cousin's breath away; then, recovering his
-composure, he asked coldly--
-
-"Does your pious mother approve this folly, sir, and take your
-housemaid-wife to her heart?"
-
-"My mother has shown a most unchristian temper. She has forbidden me
-her house, and swears to disinherit me. To have forfeited her affection
-will be ever my deep regret; but I can support the loss of her fortune."
-
-"Indeed! Are you so vastly rich from other resources?"
-
-"I have two hundred a year in India stock--my Uncle Matthew's bequest,
-and Lucy's good management promises to make this income enough for
-our home--a cottage near Richmond, where we have a garden and all the
-rustic things my Lucy loves."
-
-"Having been reared in an alley near Moorfields! I wonder how long
-her love of the country will endure wet days and dark nights, and
-remoteness from shops and market? Oh, you are still in your honeymoon,
-sir, and your sky is all blue. You must wait a month or two before you
-will discover how much you are to be pitied, and that I was your true
-friend when I cautioned you against this madness. Good day to you, Mr.
-Stobart, and be good enough to forget that we have ever called each
-other cousins."
-
-George rose, and bowed his farewell. The porter was in the hall ready
-to open the door for him. He looked round the great gloomy hall with a
-contemptuous smile as he passed out.
-
-"John Wesley's house at the Foundery is more cheerful than this," he
-thought.
-
-Kilrush sat with his elbows on the table and his hands clasped above
-his head in a melancholy silence.
-
-"Which is the madman, he or I?" he asked himself.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The preparation for his continental journey occupied Lord Kilrush for
-a fortnight, during which time he waited with a passionate longing for
-some sign of relenting from Antonia; and in all those empty days his
-mind was torn by the strife between inclination and a stubborn resolve.
-
-There were moments in which he asked himself why he did not make this
-woman his wife; that unfrocked priest, that tippling bookseller's hack,
-his father-in-law? Did anything in this world matter to a man so much
-as the joy of this present life, his instant happiness? In the hideous
-uncertainty of fate, were it not best to snatch the hour's gladness?
-
-"What if I married her, and she turned wanton after a year of bliss?"
-he mused. "At least I should have had my day."
-
-But then there came the dark suspicion that she had played him as the
-angler plays his fish, that she flung the glittering fly across his
-enraptured gaze, intent on landing a coronet; that her womanly candour,
-her almost childlike simplicity, were all so much play-acting. What
-could he expect of truth and honour from Thornton's daughter?
-
-"If she had given herself to me generously, unquestioningly, I might
-believe she loved me," he thought. "But if I married her I must for
-ever suspect myself her dupe, the victim of a schemer's ambition, the
-sport of an artful coquette, to be betrayed at the first assault of a
-younger lover."
-
-No token of relenting came from Antonia; but towards the end of the
-second week Mr. Thornton called to inquire about his lordship's health,
-and, being informed that his lordship was about to leave England for a
-considerable time, pressed for an interview, and was admitted to his
-dressing-room.
-
-"I am in despair at the prospect of your lordship's departure," he
-said, on being bidden to seat himself. "I know not how my daughter and
-I will endure our lives in the absence of so valued a friend."
-
-"I do not apprehend that _you_ will suffer much from wanting my
-company, Thornton, since you have been generally out-of-doors during my
-visits. And as for your daughter, her interest in an elderly proser's
-conversation must have been exhausted long ago."
-
-"On my soul, no! She has delighted in your society--as how could she do
-otherwise? She has an intellect vastly superior to her age and sex, and
-she had suffered a famine of intellectual conversation. I know that she
-has already begun to feel the loss of your company, for she has been
-strangely dispirited for the last ten days, and that indefatigable pen
-of hers now moves without her usual gusto."
-
-"If she is ill, or drooping, I beg you to send for my physician, Sir
-Richard Maningham, who will attend her on my account."
-
-"No, no--'tis no case for Aesculapius. She is out of spirits, but not
-ill. How far does your lordship design to extend your travels?"
-
-"Oh, I have decided nothing. I shall stay at Fontainebleau till the
-cool season, and then go by easy stages to Italy. I may winter in Rome,
-and spend next spring in Florence."
-
-"A year's absence! We shall sorely miss your lordship, and I am already
-too deeply in your debt to dare venture----"
-
-"To ask me for a further loan," interrupted Kilrush. "We will have done
-with loans, and notes of hand"--Thornton turned pale--"I wish to help
-you. Above all, I want to prevent your making a slave of your daughter."
-
-"A slave! My dear girl delights in literary work. She would be
-miserable if I refused her assistance."
-
-"Well, be sure she does not drudge for you. I hate to think of her
-solitary hours mewed in your miserable second-floor parlour, when she
-ought to be enjoying the summer air in some rural garden, idle and
-without a care. I want to strike a bargain with you, Thornton."
-
-"I am your lordship's obedient----"
-
-"Instead of these petty loans which degrade you and disgust me, I am
-willing to give you a small income--say, a hundred pounds a quarter----"
-
-"My dear lord, this is undreamed-of munificence."
-
-"On condition that you remove with your daughter to some pretty cottage
-in a rural neighbourhood--Fulham, Barnes, Hampstead, any rustic spot
-within reach of your booksellers and editors--and also that you provide
-your daughter with a suitable attendant, a woman of unblemished
-character, to wait upon her and accompany her in her walks--in a word,
-sir, that being the father of the loveliest woman I ever met, you do
-not ignore your responsibilities, and neglect her."
-
-"Oh, sir, is this meant for a reproach, because I have suffered Antonia
-to receive you alone? Sure, 'twas the knowledge of her virtue and of
-your noble character that justified my confidence."
-
-"True, sir, but there may be occasions when you should exercise a
-paternal supervision. I shall instruct my lawyer as to the payment
-of this allowance, and I expect that you will study your daughter's
-convenience and happiness in all your future arrangements. Should
-I hear you are neglecting that duty, your income will stop, on the
-instant. I must beg, also, that you keep the source of your means a
-secret from Miss Thornton, who has a haughtier spirit than yours, and
-might dislike being obliged by a friend. And now, as I have a hundred
-things to do before I leave town, I must bid you good morning."
-
-"I go, my lord, but not till I have kissed this generous hand."
-
-"Pshaw!"
-
-Kilrush snatched his hand away impatiently, rang for his valet, and
-dismissed his grateful friend with a curt nod.
-
-He left St. James's Square next day after his morning chocolate, in his
-coach and six, bound for Dover, determined not to return till he had
-learnt the lesson of forgetfulness and indifference.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-
-THE LOVE THAT FOLLOWS THE DEAD.
-
-
-On his return to Rupert Buildings, William Thornton walked on air. An
-income, an assured income of a hundred pounds a quarter, was indeed an
-improvement upon those casual loans which he had begged of his patron
-from time to time, with somewhat more of boldness since Kilrush had
-shown so marked a liking for his daughter's society. He was elated by
-his patron's generosity; yet across his pleasant meditations in the
-short distance between St. James's Square and St. Martin's Lane, there
-was time for his thoughts to take a wider range, and for something of a
-cloud to fall across his sunshine.
-
-He was puzzled, he was even troubled, by his lordship's generosity.
-What were the relations between that liberal patron and Antonia? Till
-a fortnight ago his daughter's happy frankness had assured him that
-all was well: that she was the kind of girl who may be trusted to take
-care of herself without paternal interference. But there had been a
-marked change in her manner after Kilrush's last visit. She had been
-languid and silent. She looked unhappy, and had been absent-minded when
-she talked of their literary projects--an essay for Cave--a story for
-the _Monthly Review_, or the possibility of Garrick's favour for an
-after-piece from the Italian of Goldoni.
-
-Antonia waited upon him when he came in, helped him to change his
-laced coat for an old one that he wore in the house, brought him his
-slippers, and proceeded to prepare his tea; but there was no welcoming
-smile.
-
-"My dearest girl, there is something amiss," Thornton said, after he
-had watched her for some time, while they sat opposite to each other
-with the tea-tray between them. "My Tonia is no longer the happy girl
-I have known so long. What ails my love? I have been with your friend
-Kilrush. He leaves England to-morrow. Is it the loss of his company
-distresses you?"
-
-"No, no! It is best that he should come here no more."
-
-"Why, dearest?"
-
-"Because we could never more be friends. I was very happy in his
-friendship. I knew not how happy till we parted."
-
-"Why should such a friendship end? Why did you part?"
-
-She burst into tears.
-
-"I cannot--cannot--cannot tell you."
-
-"Nay, love, you should have no secrets from your father--an indulgent
-father, if sometimes a neglectful one. When have I ever scared you by a
-harsh word?"
-
-"No, no; but it is very hard to tell you that the man I esteemed
-was unworthy of my friendship--that he came here with the vilest
-design--that he waited till he had won my regard--and then--and
-then--swore that he loved me passionately, devotedly--and offered to
-make me--his mistress."
-
-Thornton heard her with a countenance that indicated more of thought
-than of horror.
-
-"It would have been no disgrace to him to make you his wife," he said,
-"but the Delafields have ever pretended to a pride in excess of their
-rank. He did ill to offer you his affection upon those terms; yet I'll
-swear his vows of love were sincere. I have but just left him, and I
-never saw more distress of mind than I saw in his face to-day. When I
-told him that you had been drooping, he implored me to call in his own
-physician, at his charge."
-
-"Oh, pray, sir, do not tell me how he looked or what he said!" cried
-Tonia, with a passionate impatience, drying her tears as she spoke,
-which broke out afresh before she had done. "I doubt he thinks money
-can heal every wound. He offered to lavish his fortune upon me, and
-marvelled that I could prefer this shabby parlour to a handsome house
-and dishonour."
-
-"He did very ill," said Thornton, in a soothing voice, as if he were
-consoling a child in some childish trouble; "yet, my dearest Tonia, did
-you but know the world as well as I do, you would know that he made you
-what the world calls a handsome offer. To settle a fortune upon you--of
-course he would mean a _settlement:_ anything else were unworthy of a
-thought--would be to give you the strongest pledge of his fidelity.
-Men who do not mean to be constant will not so engage their fortune.
-And if--if the foolish Delafield pride--that Irish pride, which counts
-a long line of ancestors as a sacred inheritance--stands in the way
-of marriage--I'll be hanged if I think you ought to have rejected him
-without the compliment of considering his offer and of consulting me."
-
-"Father!"
-
-She sprang up to her feet, and stood before him in all the dignity of
-her tall figure; and her face, with the tears streaming over it, was
-white with anger and contempt.
-
-"My love, life is made up of compromises. Sure, I have tried to keep
-your mind clear of foolish prejudices; and, as a student of history,
-you must have seen the influences that govern the world. Beauty is
-one, and the most powerful, of those influences. Aspasia--Agnes
-Sorel--Madame de Pompadour. Need I multiply instances? But Beauty mewed
-up in a two-pair lodging is worthless to the possessor; while, with a
-fine establishment, a devoted protector, my dearest girl might command
-the highest company in the town."
-
-"Father!" she cried again, with a voice that had a sharp ring of agony,
-"would you have had me say yes?"
-
-"I would have had you consider your answer very seriously before you
-said no."
-
-"You could have suffered your daughter to stoop to such humiliation;
-you would have had her listen to the proposal of a man who is free to
-marry any one he pleases--but will not marry _her;_ who tells her in
-one breath that he loves her--and in the next that he will not make her
-his wife--oh, father, I did not think----"
-
-"That I was a man of the world? My poor child, some of the greatest
-matches in England have begun with unfettered love; and be sure that,
-were your affection to consent to such a sacrifice, Kilrush would end
-by giving you his name."
-
-"Pray, pray, sir, say no more--you are breaking my heart--I want to
-respect you still, if I can."
-
-"Pshaw, child, after all we have read together! 'Tis a shock to hear
-such heroics! What is the true philosophy of life but to snatch all the
-comfort and happiness the hour offers? What is true morality but to do
-all the good we can to ourselves, and no harm to our neighbours? Will
-your fellow-creatures be any the better for your unkindness to Kilrush?
-With his fortune to deal with, you could do an infinitude of good."
-
-"Oh, cease, I implore you!" she exclaimed distractedly. "If his tears
-could not conquer me, do you think your philosophy can shake my
-resolve?"
-
-She left him, and took refuge in her garret, and sat staring blankly
-into space, heart-sick and disgusted with life. Her father! 'Twas the
-first time she had ever been ashamed of him. Her father to be the
-advocate of dishonour--to urge her to accept degradation! Her father,
-whom she had loved till this hour with a child's implicit belief in the
-wisdom and beneficence of a parent--was he no better than the wretches
-she had heard Patty talk about, the complacent husbands who flourished
-upon a wife's infidelity, the brothers who fawned upon a sister's
-protector? Was all the world made of the same base stuff; and did
-woman's virtue and man's honour live but in the dreams of genius?
-
-She had accepted her father's dictum that religion and superstition
-were convertible terms. Her young mind had been steeped in the
-Voltairean philosophy before she was strong enough to form her own
-opinions or choose her own creed. She had read over and over again of
-the evil that religion had done in the world, and never of the good.
-Instead of the whole armour of righteousness, she had been shown the
-racks and thumb-screws of the Spanish Inquisition; and had been taught
-to associate the altar with the _auto da fe_. All she knew of piety
-was priestcraft; and though her heart melted with compassion for the
-martyrs of a mistaken belief, her mind scorned their credulity. But
-from her first hour of awakening reason she had never wavered in her
-ideas of right and wrong, honour and dishonour. As a child of twelve,
-newly entrusted with the expenditure of small sums, all her little
-dealings with Mrs. Potter had shown a scrupulous honesty, a delicacy
-and consideration, which the good woman had seldom met with in adult
-lodgers. The books that had made her an infidel had held before her
-high ideals of honour. And those other books--the books she most
-loved--her Shakespeare, her Spenser--had taught her all that is noblest
-in man and woman.
-
-She thought of Shakespeare's Isabella, who, not to save the life of
-a beloved brother, would stoop to sin. She recalled her instinctive
-contempt for Claudio, who, to buy that worthless life, would have sold
-his sister to shame.
-
-"My father is like Claudio," she thought; and then with a sudden
-compunction, "No, no, he is not selfish--he is only mistaken. It was of
-me he thought--and that if Kilrush loved me, and I loved him, I might
-be happy."
-
-Her tears flowed afresh. Never till Kilrush threw off the mask had
-she known what it was to look along the dull vista of life and see no
-star, to feel the days a burden, the future a blank. She missed him.
-Oh, how she missed him! Day after day in the parlour below she had
-sat looking at his empty chair, listening unawares for a footstep she
-was never likely to hear again. She recalled his conversation, his
-opinions, his criticism of her favourite books, their arguments, their
-almost quarrels about abstract things. His face haunted her: those
-exquisitely refined features upon which the only effect of age was
-an increased delicacy of line and colouring; the depth of thought in
-the dark grey eyes; the grave smile with its so swift transition from
-satire to a tender melancholy. Was there ever such a man? His elegance,
-his dignity, his manner of entering a room or leaving it, the grace of
-every gesture, so careless yet so unerring--every trait of character,
-every charm of person, which she was unconscious of having noticed in
-their almost daily association, seemed now to have been burnt into her
-brain and to be written there for ever.
-
-In the fortnight that had passed since they had parted, she had tried
-in vain to occupy herself with the work which had hitherto interested
-her so much as to make industry only another name for amusement. Her
-adaptation of Goldoni's _Villeggiatura_ lay on her table, the pages
-soiled by exposure, sentence after sentence obliterated. The facile
-pen had lost its readiness. She found herself translating the lively
-Italian with a dull precision; she, who of old had so deftly turned
-every phrase into idiomatic English--who had lent so much of herself to
-her author.
-
-Often in these sorrowful days she had pushed aside her manuscript to
-scribble her recollections of Kilrush's conversation upon a stray sheet
-of foolscap. Often again, in those saddest moments of all, she had
-recalled his words of impassioned love--his tears; and her own tears
-had fallen thick and fast upon the disfigured page.
-
-Well, it was ended, that friendship which had been so sweet; and she
-had discovered the bitter truth that friendship between man and woman,
-when the woman is young and beautiful, is impossible.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The days, weeks, months went by; and the name of Kilrush was no more
-spoken by Thornton or his daughter. It was as if no such being had
-ever had any part in their lives, any influence over their fate. Yet
-Thornton was studiously obedient to his patron's wishes all the time.
-
-Good Mrs. Potter, who was getting elderly, had for some years past
-groaned under the burden of the house in Rupert Buildings, with the
-double, or sometimes treble set of lodgers, who were needful to make
-the business remunerative. Servant girls were troublesome, even when
-paid as much as six pounds per annum, with a pound extra for tea and
-sugar; lodgers were not always punctual with the weekly rent, and
-sometimes left in her debt. Thornton paid her a low rent for his second
-floor and garret; but he stayed from year's end to year's end; and she
-valued him above the finer people who came and went in her bettermost
-rooms. So when he told her that he was going to remove to a rural
-neighbourhood, she opened her heart to him, and declared, firstly,
-that she was sick of London, and London husseys--otherwise domestic
-servants; secondly, that she could not live without Antonia; thirdly,
-that she had long had it in her mind to remove her goods and chattels
-to a countrified suburb, such as Highgate or Edmonton, and that could
-she be secure of one permanent lodger she would do so without loss of
-time.
-
-"Choose a genteel house to the south-west of London, somewhere between
-Wandsworth and Barnes, and my daughter and I will share it with you,"
-said Thornton; and Mrs. Potter, who had no particular leaning to north
-or east, agreed.
-
-After this came a pleasant period of house-hunting, in which Antonia
-was by-and-by induced to take a languid interest, going in a hackney
-coach with Mrs. Potter and her daughter Sophy, who had served an
-apprenticeship to a dressmaker, and was very doubtful how to dispose of
-her talent now she was out of her time. After several suburban drives,
-through suburbs that were all garden and meadow, they discovered an old
-half-timbered cottage at Putney, whose casement windows looked across
-the Thames to the church and episcopal palace and gardens of Fulham. To
-Antonia, who had hardly known what it was to leave London since those
-distant childish years in Windsor Forest, the white walled cottage and
-garden seemed a heaven upon earth. Surely it must be a blissful thing
-to live beside that broad reach of Thames, to see willows dipping
-and reeds waving in the mild autumn wind, and the red sailed barges
-drifting slowly down stream, and to hear the rooks in the great elms
-yonder in the bishop's gardens, their clamorous chatter softened by
-the intervening river. She went back to London enchanted with Rosemary
-Bank, as the roomy old cottage called itself, and told her father that
-she thought she could be happy there.
-
-"Then Potter shall take the cottage to-morrow," cried Thornton, in a
-rapture of eagerness; "for I'll be hanged if you have looked anything
-but miserable for the last six weeks. Just as our luck had turned too,
-my--my circumstances improved--and--and Garrick promising to put our
-little Italian play on the stage, and to give me a benefit if it runs
-twenty nights."
-
-Tonia sighed, remembering the melancholy thoughts interwoven with every
-line of that lively two-act burletta which she had squeezed out of
-Goldoni's five-act comedy. Everybody was pleased with the neat little
-after-piece, most of all Patty Lester, who was to play the soubrette,
-in a short chintz petticoat, and high red heels to her shoes.
-
-The theatre seemed a source of boundless wealth, for on Mrs.
-Potter--who dropped in sometimes at tea-time for a gossip; or, coming
-on a business errand, was invited to sit down and talk--complaining
-that she did not know what to do with her dressmaking daughter,
-Thornton offered to engage Mrs. Sophy as Antonia's "woman."
-
-"She will have to accept a modest honorarium," he said, with his grand
-air, "but she will be getting her hand in to go out as waiting-woman to
-a lady of quality; and my Tonia will treat her more as a friend than a
-servant."
-
-Mrs. Potter snapped at the offer, though she did not know the meaning
-of the word "honorarium." She guessed that it meant either wages or a
-present, and to find that idle slut of hers an occupation, and yet have
-her under the maternal eye, was an unspeakable advantage.
-
-Antonia protested that she wanted no waiting-maid, though she loved
-Sophy.
-
-"Indeed, sir, you are not rich enough to make a fine lady of me," she
-said.
-
-"Nature has made you a lady, my love; and you are too sensible ever
-to become fine. When we are living in the country--and I have to come
-to London, occasionally, to look after my business--you will need a
-companion whose time will be always at your service."
-
-And so, with no more discussion, Sophia Potter was engaged, at a salary
-of ten pounds per annum, paid quarterly.
-
-At Rosemary Bank the changing seasons passed in a calm monotony;
-and it seemed to Antonia, during the second year of her life in the
-cottage by the Thames, as if she had never lived anywhere else. The
-London lodging, the Strand and Fleet Street, Miss Lester's rooms in the
-Piazza, receded in the distance of half-forgotten things; for the years
-of youth are long, and the passing of a year makes a great gap in time.
-
-The link between Tonia and London seemed as completely broken as if she
-were living in Yorkshire or in Cornwall. There was a London coach that
-started from the King's Head at the bottom of Putney High Street every
-morning, for the Golden Cross, hard by Rupert Buildings; and this coach
-carried Mr. Thornton and his fortunes three or four times a week, and
-brought him home after dark. He had so much business that required his
-presence in the metropolis, and first and foremost the necessity of
-getting the latest news, which was always on tap at the Portico, where
-half a score of gutter wits and politicians settled the affairs of the
-nation, reviled Newcastle and the Pelhams, praised Pitt, canvassed the
-prospects of war in America or on the continent, and enlarged on the
-vices of the _beau monde_, every afternoon and evening.
-
-Antonia accepted her father's absence as inevitable. Her own life was
-spent in a peaceful monotony. She had her books and her literary work
-for interest and occupation. She acquired some elementary knowledge
-of horticulture from an old man who came once a week to work in the
-garden; and, her love of flowers aiding her, she improved upon his
-instructions and became an expert in the delightful art. She and Sophy
-made the two-acre garden their pride. It was an old garden, and there
-was much of beauty ready to their hands; rustic arches overhung with
-roses and honeysuckle; espaliers of russet apples and jargonelle pears
-screening patches of useful vegetables; plots of old-established turf;
-long borders crowded with hardy perennials--a garden that had cost care
-and labour in days that were gone.
-
-And then there was the river-bank between Putney and Kew, where Tonia
-found beauty and delight at all seasons; even in the long winter, when
-the snapping of thin ice rang through the still air as the barges
-moved slowly by, and the snow was piled in high ridges along the edge
-of the stream. Summer or winter, spring or autumn, Tonia loved that
-solitary shore, where the horses creeping along the towing-path were
-almost the only creatures that ever intruded on her privacy. She and
-Sophy were indefatigable pedestrians. They had indeed nothing else to
-do with themselves, Sophy told her mother, and must needs walk "to pass
-the time." Passing the time was the great problem in Sophia Potter's
-existence. To that end she waded through "Pamela" and "Clarissa,"
-sitting in the garden, on sleepy summer afternoons. To that end she
-toiled at a piece of tambour work; and to that end she trudged, yawning
-dismally now and then, by Tonia's side from Putney to Barnes, from
-Barnes to Kew, while her young mistress's thoughts roamed in dreamland,
-following airy shadows, or sometimes perhaps following a distant
-traveller in cities and by lakes and mountains she knew not.
-
-Often and often, in her peripatetic reveries, Antonia's fancies
-followed the image of Kilrush, whose continental wanderings were
-chronicled from time to time in _Lloyd's_ or the _St. James's_. He
-was at Rome in the winter after their farewell; he was in Corsica in
-the following spring; he spent the summer at Aix in Savoy; moved to
-Montpelier in the late autumn; wintered at Florence. Tonia's thoughts
-followed him with a strange sadness, wherever he went. Youth cannot
-feed on regrets for ever, and the heartache of those first vacant days
-had been healed; but the thought that she might never see his face
-again hung like a cloud of sadness over the quiet of her life.
-
-And now it was summer again, and the banks were all in flower, and the
-blue harebells trembled above the mossy hillocks on Barnes Common, and
-the long evenings were glorious with red and gold sunsets, and it was
-nearly two years since she had rushed from her lover's presence with
-a despairing farewell. Two years! Only two years! It seemed half a
-lifetime. Nothing was less likely than that they would ever meet again.
-Nothing, nothing, nothing! Yet there were daydreams, foolish dreams, in
-which she pictured his return--dreams that took their vividest colours
-on a lovely sunlit morning when the world seemed full of joy. He would
-appear before her suddenly at some turn of the river-bank. He would
-take her hand and seat himself by her side on such or such a fallen
-tree or rough rustic bench where she was wont to sit in her solitude.
-"I have come back," he would say, "come back to be your true friend,
-never more to wound you with words of love, but to be your friend
-always." The tears sprang to her eyes sometimes as imagination depicted
-that meeting. Surely he would come back! Could they, who had been such
-friends, be parted for ever?
-
-But the quiet days went by, and her dream was not realized. No sign
-or token came to her from him who had been her friend, till one July
-evening, when she was startled by her father's unexpected return in a
-coach and four, which drove to the little garden gate with a rush and a
-clatter, as if those steaming horses had been winged dragons and were
-going to carry off the cottage and its inmates in a cloud of smoke
-and fire. Tonia ran to the gate in a sudden panic. What could have
-happened? Was her father being carried home to her hurt in some street
-accident--or dead? It was so unlike his accustomed arrival, on the
-stroke of eleven, walking quietly home from the last coach, which left
-the Golden Cross at a quarter-past nine, was due at the King's Head at
-half-past ten, and rarely kept its time.
-
-Her father alighted from the carriage, sound of limb, but with an
-agitated countenance; and then she noticed for the first time that the
-postillions wore the Kilrush livery, and that his lordship's coat of
-arms was on the door.
-
-"My love--my Tonia," cried Thornton, breathlessly, "you are to come
-with me, this instant--alas! there is not a moment to spare. Bring her
-hat and cloak," he called out to Sophy, who had followed at her lady's
-heels, and stood open-mouthed, devouring the wonder-vision of coach and
-postillions. "Run, girl, run!"
-
-Tonia stared at her father in amazement.
-
-"What has happened?" she asked. "Where am I to go?"
-
-"Kilrush has sent me for you, Tonia. That good man--Kilrush--my
-friend--my benefactor--he who has made our lives so happy. I shall lose
-the best friend I ever had. Your cloak"--snatching a light cloth mantle
-from the breathless Sophy and wrapping it round Tonia. "Your hat. Come,
-get into the coach. I can tell you the rest as we drive to town."
-
-He helped her into the carriage and took his seat beside her. She was
-looking at him in a grave wonder. In his flurry and agitation he had
-let her into a secret which had been carefully guarded hitherto.
-
-"Is it to Lord Kilrush we owe our quiet lives here? Has his lordship
-given you money?" she asked gravely.
-
-"Oh, he has helped--he has helped me, when our means ran low--as any
-rich friend would help a poor one. There is nothing strange in that,
-child," her father explained, with a deprecating air.
-
-"Kilrush!" she repeated, deeply wounded. "It was his kindness changed
-our lives! I thought we were earning all our comforts--you and I. Why
-are you taking me to him, sir? I don't understand."
-
-"I am taking you to his death-bed, Tonia. His doctors give him only a
-few hours of life, and he wants to see you before he dies, to bid you
-farewell."
-
-The tears were rolling down Thornton's cheeks, but Antonia's eyes were
-tearless. She sat with her face turned to the village street, staring
-at the little rustic shops, the quaint gables and projecting beams, the
-dormer casements gilded by the sunset, Fairfax House, with its stout
-red walls, and massive stone mullions, and a garden full of roses and
-pinks, that perfumed the warm air as they drove by. She looked at all
-those familiar things in a stupor of wonder and regret.
-
-"You often talk wildly," she said presently, in a toneless voice. "Is
-he really so ill? Is there no hope?"
-
-The horses had swung round a corner, and they were driving by a lane
-that led to Wandsworth, where it joined the London road. At the rate at
-which they were going they would be at Westminster Bridge in less than
-half an hour.
-
-"Alas, child, I have it from his doctor. 'Tis a hopeless case--has
-been hopeless for the last six months. He has been in a consumption
-since the beginning of the winter, has been sent from place to place,
-fighting with his malady. He came to London two days ago, from Geneva,
-as fast as he could travel--a journey that has hastened his end, the
-physician told me. Came to put his affairs in order, and to see you,"
-Thornton concluded, after a pause.
-
-"To see me! Ah, what am I that he should care?" cried Tonia.
-
-To know that he was dying was to know that she had never ceased to love
-him. But she did not analyze her feelings. All that she knew of herself
-was a dull despair--the sense of a loss that engulfed everything she
-had ever valued in this world.
-
-"What am I that he should care?" she repeated forlornly.
-
-"You are all in all to him. He implored me to bring you--with tears,
-Antonia--he, my benefactor, the one friend who never turned a deaf ear
-to my necessities," said Thornton, too unhappy to control his speech.
-
-"Shall we be there soon?" Tonia asked by-and-by, in a voice broken by
-sobs.
-
-"In a quarter of an hour at the latest. God grant it may not be too
-late."
-
-No other word was spoken till the coach stopped at the solemn old
-doorway in St. James's Square, a door through which Mrs. Arabella
-Churchill had passed in her day of pride, when the house was hers, and
-that handsome young soldier, her brother Jack, was a frequent visitor
-there.
-
-Night had not fallen yet, and there were lingering splashes of red
-sunset upon the westward-facing windows of the Square; but on this side
-all was shadow, and the feeble oil-lamps made dots of yellow light on
-the cold greyness, and enhanced the melancholy of a summer twilight.
-
-The door was opened as Thornton and Antonia alighted. Her father led
-her past the hall porter, across the spacious marble-paved vestibule
-that looked like a vault in the dimness of a solitary lamp which a
-footman was lighting as they entered. Huge imperials, portmanteaux and
-packing-cases filled one side of the hall; the bulk of his lordship's
-personal luggage, which no one had found time to carry upstairs,
-and the cases containing the pictures, porcelain, curios, which he
-had collected in his wanderings from city to city, and in which his
-interest had ceased so soon as the thing was bought. He had come home
-too ill for any one to give heed to these treasures. There would be
-time to unpack them after the funeral--that inevitable ceremony which
-the household had begun to discuss already. Would the dying man desire
-to be laid with his ancestors in the family vault under Limerick
-Cathedral, within sound of the Shannon?
-
-Antonia followed her father up the dusky staircase, their footfall
-noiseless on the soft depth of an Indian carpet, followed him into a
-dark little ante-room, where two men in sombre attire sat at a table
-talking together by the light of two wax candles in tall Corinthian
-candlesticks. One of these was his lordship's family lawyer, the other
-his apothecary.
-
-"Are we too late?" asked Thornton, breathlessly, with rapid glances
-from the attorney to the doctor--glances which included a folded paper
-lying on the table beside a silver standish.
-
-"No, no; his lordship may last out the night," answered the doctor.
-"Pray be seated, madam. If my patient is asleep, we will wait his
-awakening. He does not sleep long. If he is awake you shall see him. He
-desired that you should be taken to him without delay."
-
-He opened the door of the inner room almost noiselessly and looked in.
-A voice asked, "Is she here?"
-
-It was the voice Tonia knew of old, but weaker. Her heart beat
-passionately. She did not wait for the doctor, but brushed past him
-on the threshold, and was scarce conscious of crossing the width of
-a larger room than she had ever seen. She had no eyes for the gloomy
-magnificence of the room, the high windows draped with dark red velvet,
-the panelled walls, the lofty bed, with its carved columns and ostrich
-plumes; she knew nothing, saw nothing, till she was on her knees by the
-bed, and the dying man was holding her hands in his.
-
-"Go into the next room, both of you," he said, whereupon his valet and
-an elderly woman in a linen gown and apron, a piece of respectable
-incompetence, the best sick-nurse that his wealth and station could
-command, silently retired.
-
-"Will you stop with me to the end, Tonia?"
-
-"Yes, yes! But you are not going to die. I will not believe them. You
-must not die!"
-
-"Would you be sorry? Would it make any difference?"
-
-"It would break my heart. I did not know that I loved you till you had
-gone away. I did not know how dearly till to-night."
-
-"And if I was to mend and be my own man again, and was to ask you the
-same question again, would you give me the same answer?"
-
-"Yes," she answered slowly; "but you would not be so cruel."
-
-"No, Tonia, no, I am wiser now; for I have come to understand that
-there is one woman in the world who would not forfeit her honour for
-love or happiness. Ah, my dearest, here, here, on the brink of death,
-I know there is nothing on this earth that a man should set above the
-woman he loves--no paltry thought of rank or station, no cowardly dread
-that she may prove unfaithful, no fear of the world's derision. If I
-could have my life again I should know how to use it. But 'tis past,
-and the only love I can ask for now is the love that follows the dead."
-
-He paused, exhausted by the effort of speech. He spoke very slowly,
-and his voice was low and hoarse, but she could hear every word. She
-had risen from her knees, to be nearer him, and was sitting on the
-side of the bed, holding him in her arms. In her heart of hearts she
-had realized that death was near, though her soul rebelled against the
-inevitable. She was conscious of the coming darkness, conscious that
-she was holding him on the edge of an open grave.
-
-"Do not talk so much, you are tiring yourself," she said gently, wiping
-his forehead with a cambric handkerchief that had lain among the
-heaped-up pillows. The odour of orange flower that it exhaled was in
-her mind years afterwards, associated with that bed of death.
-
-He lay resting, with his eyelids half closed, his head leaning against
-her shoulder, her arm supporting him.
-
-"I never thought to taste such ineffable bliss," he murmured. "You have
-made death euthanasia."
-
-He lapsed into a half-sleeping state, which lasted for some minutes,
-while she sat as still as marble. Then he opened his eyes suddenly, and
-looked at her in an agitated way.
-
-"Tonia, will you marry me?" he asked.
-
-"Yes, yes, if you bid me, by-and-by, when you are well," she answered,
-humouring a dying man's fancy.
-
-"Now, now! I have only a few hours to live. I sent for you to make you
-my wife. I want your love to follow me in death. I want you to bear my
-name--the name I refused you, the name that cost me half a lifetime of
-happiness. Tonia, swear that you will be true--that you will belong to
-me when I am dead, as you might have belonged to me in life."
-
-She thought his mind was wandering. He had lifted himself from her
-arms, and was sitting up in bed, magnetized into new life by the
-intensity of his purpose.
-
-"Ring that bell, dearest. Yes"--as she took up the handbell on his
-table--"all has been arranged. Death will be civil to the last Baron
-Kilrush, and will give me time for what I have to do."
-
-His valet appeared at the door.
-
-"Is his lordship's chaplain there?" Kilrush asked.
-
-"Yes, my lord. The bishop has come with his chaplain."
-
-"The bishop! My old friend is monstrous obliging. Show them in."
-
-The valet ushered in a stately personage in full canonicals,
-accompanied by a young man in surplice and hood. The bishop came to the
-bedside, saluted Antonia courteously, and bent his portly form over
-Kilrush with an affectionate air.
-
-"My dear friend, on so solemn an occasion I could not delegate my duty
-to another."
-
-"You are very good. We are ready for you. My lawyer is in the next
-room--he has the license; and this"--pointing to a thin gold hoop
-worn with an antique intaglio ring on his little finger--"this was my
-mother's wedding ring--it will serve."
-
-The bishop took the Prayer-book which his chaplain had opened at the
-Marriage Service, but paused with the book in his hand, looking at
-Antonia with a grave curiosity. Kilrush followed the look, and answered
-it as if it had been a question.
-
-"You understand, bishop, that this marriage is not an atonement," he
-said. "Miss Antonia Thornton is a lady of spotless reputation, who will
-do honour to the name I leave her."
-
-"That is well, Kilrush. But I hope this marriage is not designed to
-injure any one belonging to you."
-
-"No, I injure no one, for no one has any claim to be my heir."
-
-The valet brought the candles from the further end of the room to a
-table near the bishop, and rearranged the pillows at his master's back.
-Antonia had risen from her seat on the edge of the bed, and stood
-watching Kilrush with the candlelight full upon her face.
-
-The bishop looked at her with a shrewd scrutiny. He wanted to know what
-manner of woman she was, and what could be his old friend's motive for
-this death-bed folly. They had been at Eton and Oxford together; and
-though their paths had lain asunder since those early years, the bishop
-knew what kind of life Kilrush had led, and was disinclined to credit
-him with chivalrous or romantic impulses. He looked to the woman for
-the answer to the enigma. An artful adventuress, no doubt, who had
-worked upon the weaker will of a dying man. He scrutinized her with the
-keen glance of a man accustomed to read the secrets of the heart in the
-countenance, and his penetration was baffled by the tragic beauty of
-her face, as she gazed at Kilrush, with eyes which seemed incapable of
-seeing anything but him. He thought that no adventuress could conjure
-up that look of despairing love, that unconsciousness of external
-things, that supreme indifference to a ceremony which was to give her
-wealth and station for the rest of her life, indifference even to that
-episcopal dignity of purple and lawn which had rarely failed in its
-influence upon woman.
-
-"Make your ceremony as brief as you can, bishop," said Kilrush. "I have
-something to say to my wife when 'tis over. Louis, call Mr. Thornton
-and Mr. Pegloss."
-
-The valet opened the door, and admitted Thornton and the lawyer. The
-apothecary followed them, took up his position by his patient's pillow,
-and gave him a restorative draught.
-
-The bishop began to read in his great deep voice--a voice which must
-have ensured a bishopric, but diminished from the thunder of his
-cathedral tones to a grave baritone, musical as the soughing of distant
-waves. The windows were open, and through the sultry air there came
-the cry of the watchman calling the hour, far off and at measured
-intervals--
-
-"Past ten o'clock, and a cloudy night."
-
-Tonia stood by the bed, holding her lover's hand.
-
-"Who giveth this woman, etc."
-
-Thornton was ready, trembling with excitement, dazed by the wonder of
-it all, and scarcely able to speak; and Tonia's voice was choked with
-tears when she made the bride's replies, slowly, stumblingly, prompted
-by the chaplain. The ceremony had no significance for her, except as
-a dying man's whim. Her only thought was of him. She could see his
-face more distinctly now, in the nearer light of the candles, and the
-awful change smote her heart with a pain she had never felt before. It
-was death, the dreadful, the inevitable, the end of all things. What
-meaning could marriage have in such an hour as this?
-
-The chaplain read a final prayer. The ring had been put on. The
-marriage was complete.
-
-The bishop knelt by the table, and began to read the prayers for
-the sick, Tonia standing by the bed, with Kilrush's hand in hers,
-heedless of the solemn voice. The bishop looked up at her in a shocked
-astonishment.
-
-"It would be more becoming, madam, to kneel," he said in a loud whisper.
-
-She sank on her knees beside the bed, and listened to the prayer that
-seemed to mock her with its supplications for health and healing, while
-Death, a palpable presence, hovered over the bed. To Antonia that
-ineffectual prayer seemed the last sentence--the sentence of doom.
-
-"You are vastly civil, bishop," said Kilrush, opening his eyelids after
-one of his transient slumbers. "And now let Mr. Pegloss bring me the
-paper I have to sign."
-
-The attorney came to the bedside on the instant, carrying a
-blotting-book which he arranged deftly, with a closely written sheet of
-foolscap spread upon it, in front of Kilrush, who had been raised again
-into a sitting position by the doctor and valet.
-
-"This is my will, bishop," said Kilrush, as he wrote his name. "You and
-your chaplain can witness it. 'Twill give an odour of sanctity to my
-last act."
-
-"Your lordship may command my services," said the bishop, taking the
-pen from his friend's hand.
-
-It was something of a shock to have this service asked of him. A few
-hours ago there had been nothing he expected less than a legacy from
-his old schoolfellow; but after having been asked to send his chaplain
-to solemnize a death-bed marriage, after being as it were appealed
-to on the score of early friendship, and after having so cordially
-responded, it seemed to his episcopal mind that among the accumulated
-treasures of art which poor Kilrush was about to surrender, some small
-memento, were it but a diamond snuff-box, or an enamelled watch--should
-have come to him.
-
-He wrote his stately signature with a flourish; the chaplain following.
-
-Kilrush sank back among his pillows, supported by the arms he loved.
-
-"Bishop, you are a connoisseur," he said, in his faint voice, looking
-up shrewdly at his schoolfellow's ample countenance, rosy with the rich
-hues of the Cote d'or. "That Raffaelle over the chimney-piece--'tis
-a replica of the Sposalizia at Milan. Some critics pronounce it the
-finer picture. Let it be a souvenir of your obliging goodness to-night.
-Louis, you will see the Raffaelle conveyed to his lordship's house
-immediately. Mr. Pegloss will assist you to take the picture down. And
-now good-night to you all."
-
-"My dear Kilrush, you overpower me," murmured the bishop; and then he
-bent over the invalid, and whispered a solemn inquiry.
-
-"No, no; I am not in a fit state of mind," Kilrush answered fretfully.
-"And my wife is not a believer."
-
-"Not a believer!"
-
-His lordship's eyebrows were elevated in unspeakable horror. He
-glanced with something of aversion at the lovely face hanging over the
-dying man with looks of all absorbing love. Not a believer! He would
-scarcely have been more horrified had she been a disciple of Wesley or
-Whitefield.
-
-"My dear friend," he murmured, "'tis my bounden duty to urge----"
-
-"Come to me to-morrow morning, bishop."
-
-"Let it be so, then. At eight o'clock to-morrow morning."
-
-"_A rivederci_," said Kilrush, with a mocking smile, waving an
-attenuated hand, as the churchman and his satellite withdrew.
-
-Thornton and the lawyer followed, but only to the ante-room. The
-apothecary and valet remained. The physician had paid his last visit
-before Antonia arrived. There had been a consultation of three great
-men in the afternoon, and it had been decided that nothing more could
-be done for the patient than to make him as comfortable as his malady
-would permit, and for that the apothecary's art was sufficient.
-
-"You can wait in the next room, Davis, within call," said Kilrush, as
-the grave elderly man, in a queer little chestnut wig, bent over him,
-looking anxiously in his face, and feeling his pulse.
-
-The throb of life beat stronger than Davis had anticipated. A wonderful
-constitution that could so hold out against the ravages of disease!
-The breathing was laboured, but there was vigour enough left to last
-out the long night hours--to last for days and nights yet, the medico
-thought, as he left the room.
-
-The valet was moving the candles from the table by the bed, when his
-master stopped him.
-
-"Leave them there: I want to see my wife's face," he said.
-
-The man obeyed, and followed the apothecary.
-
-Husband and wife were alone.
-
-"On your knees, Tonia--so, with your face towards the light," Kilrush
-said eagerly. "So, so, love. I want to see your eyes. You are my wife,
-Tonia, my wife for ever--in life and after life. This perishing clay
-will be hidden from your sight to-morrow--_this_ Kilrush will cease
-to be--but--" striking his breast passionately, "there is something
-here that will live--the mind of the man who loved you--and who dies
-despairing--the martyr of his insensate pride."
-
-He grasped her hands in both his own, looking into her eyes with a wild
-intensity that touched the boundary line of madness; but she did not
-shrink from him. That wasted countenance, leaden with the dull shadow
-of death, was for her the dearest thing on earth, the only thing she
-was conscious of in this last hour.
-
-"Tonia, do you understand?" he gasped, struggling to recover breath.
-"I have married you to make you mine beyond the grave. It would be the
-agony of hell to die and leave you to another. You are mine by this
-bond. I have given you all a dying lover can give--my name, my fortune.
-Swear that you will be true to me, that you will never give yourself to
-another man. That you will be my wife--mine only--till the grave unites
-us, and that you will lie by my side when life is done, the vault by
-the Shannon your only wedding bed. Promise me never to bless another
-with your love."
-
-"Never, never, never, upon my honour," she said, with a depth of
-earnestness that satisfied him.
-
-"On your honour--yes, for your honour means something. If the spirits
-of the dead are free, I shall be near you. If you break your promise,
-I shall haunt you--an angry ghost, pitiless, cruel. As you hope for
-peace, do not cheat me."
-
-In the unnatural strength of impassioned feeling he had exhausted that
-reserve of energy which the apothecary had noted, and in the rush of
-his passionate speech he was seized with a more violent fit of coughing
-than any that had attacked him since Antonia's coming. She was agonized
-at the sight of his suffering, and hung over him with despairing love,
-while the attenuated frame was convulsed with the struggle for breath.
-The fight ended suddenly. He flung his arms round her neck, and his
-head fell upon her bosom, in an appalling silence. A blood-vessel had
-burst in that last paroxysm, and in the red stream that poured from his
-lips, covering Tonia's gown with crimson splashes, his life ebbed away.
-
-A piercing shriek startled the watchers in the ante-room. Doctor,
-nurse, valet, rushed to the bed-chamber, to find Antonia swooning on
-her knees beside the bed, the dead man's arms still clasped about her
-neck.
-
-"Very sudden!" said the apothecary, as Thornton appeared at the door.
-"I thought his lordship would have held out longer."
-
- * * * * *
-
-When Antonia recovered her senses she found herself lying on a sofa in
-a room she had never seen before, with the respectable-incompetent in
-a linen apron holding a bottle of smelling-salts to her nostrils, and
-an odour of burnt feathers poisoning the atmosphere. Her father was
-sitting by her side, holding her hand, and patting it soothingly. Some
-one had taken off her gown, and her shoulders were wrapped in an old
-shawl, lent by the incompetent. The lofty room was a well of shadow,
-made visible by a single candle.
-
-She lay in apathetic silence for some minutes, not knowing where she
-was, or what had happened, wondering whether it was evening or morning,
-summer or winter. It was only when her father talked to her that she
-began to remember.
-
-"My sweet child, I implore you to compose yourself," he said. "My dear
-friend acted nobly. Alas, was there ever so fine, so generous a nature?
-My Tonia is one of the richest women in London, and with a name that
-may rank with the highest. My Tonia! How splendidly she will become her
-exalted station."
-
-Antonia heard him unheeding.
-
-"Let me go back to him," she said, rising to her feet.
-
-"Not yet, madam," murmured the nurse. "To-morrow morning. Not to-night,
-dear lady. Let me help your ladyship to undress. The next room has been
-prepared fur your ladyship."
-
-"Why can't I go to him?" asked Antonia, turning to her father. "I
-promised to stay with him till the end."
-
-"Alas, love, thou wast with him till the last. His arms clasped thee
-in death. I doubt thou wilt never forget those moments, my poor wench.
-God! how he loved you! And he has made you a great lady."
-
-She turned from him in disgust.
-
-"You harp upon that," she said. "I loved him--I loved him. I loved
-him--and he is dead!"
-
-The nurse had crept away to assist in the last sad duties. Father and
-daughter were alone, Antonia sitting speechless, staring into vacancy,
-Thornton babbling feebly every now and then, irrepressible in his
-exultation at so strange, so miraculous a turn of fortune's wheel.
-
-"Kilrush's death would have beggared us, but for this," he thought.
-
-A clock on the mantelpiece struck eleven. Only eleven o'clock! 'Twas
-but two hours since Antonia had entered the house, and her life before
-she crossed that threshold seemed to her far away in the dim distance
-of years that were gone.
-
-He had loved her, and had repented his cruelty. There was comfort in
-that thought even in the despair of an eternal parting. Was it to be
-eternal? He had spoken of an after-life, a consciousness that was to
-follow and watch her. She, the Voltairean, who had been taught to smile
-at man's belief in immortality, the fairy-tale of faith, the myth of
-all ages and all nations--she, the unbeliever, hung upon those words of
-his for comfort.
-
-"If his spirit can be with me, sure he will know how fondly I love
-him," she said; and the first tears she shed since his death flowed at
-the thought.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-
-THE SANDS RUN DOWN.
-
-
-The household in St. James's Square bowed themselves before the new
-Lady Kilrush, and made obeisance to her, as the wheat-sheaves bowed
-down to Joseph in his dream. The butler remembered his master's first
-wife, a pretty futile creature, always gadding, following the latest
-craze in modish dissipations, greedy of pleasure and excitement. It had
-been no surprise to him when she crept through the hall door in the
-summer gloaming, carrying her jewels in a handbag, to join the lover
-who was waiting in a coach and four round the corner. It was only her
-husband who had been blind--blind because he was indifferent.
-
-To the household this strange marriage was a matter for profound
-satisfaction.
-
-"Her ladyship desires to retain your services, and will make no changes
-except on your recommendation," Mr. Thornton told the late lord's
-house-steward and business manager, with a superb patronage; but
-without any authority from Antonia, who sat in a stony silence when he
-talked about plans for the future, and of all the pomps and pleasures
-that were waiting for his beloved girl after a year of mourning.
-
-"Oh, why do you talk of servants, and horses, and things?" she
-exclaimed once, with an agonized look. "Can't you see--don't you
-understand--that I loved him?"
-
-"I do understand. Yes, yes, my love. I can sympathize with your
-grief--your natural grief--for so noble a benefactor. But when your
-year of widowhood is past, my Tonia will awaken to the knowledge of her
-power. A beauty, a fortune, a peeress, and a young widow! By Heaven,
-you might aspire to be the bride of royalty! _And_ a temper!" muttered
-Thornton, as his daughter rose suddenly from her chair and walked out
-of the room, before he had finished his harangue.
-
-It was only when there was a question of the funeral that the new Lady
-Kilrush asserted herself.
-
-"His lordship will be buried in the family vault at Limerick," she
-said decisively. "Be kind enough to make all needful arrangements, Mr.
-Goodwin. I shall travel with the funeral _cortege_."
-
-"My dearest Tonia--so remote a spot, so wild and unsettled a
-country," pleaded Thornton. "Would it not be wiser to choose a nearer
-resting-place, among the sepulchres of the noble and distinguished; as,
-for instance, at St. Paul's, Covent Garden?"
-
-Antonia did not answer, or appear to have heard, the paternal
-suggestion. Her father would scarcely let her out of his sight during
-these long days in the darkened house. She could only escape from him
-by withdrawing to her own room, where Sophy was in attendance upon her;
-the strange and stately bed-chamber with an amber satin bed, whose
-curtains had shaded the guilty dreams of the runaway wife.
-
-The bishop made her a stately visit on the second day of her solitude,
-and tried to convert her to Anglican Christianity in an hour's affable
-conversation, addressing himself to her benighted mind in the simplest
-forms of speech, as if she had been an ignorant child. She heard him
-politely; but he could not lure her into an argument, and he knew that
-the good seed was falling on stony ground.
-
-When he was leaving her she gave a heart-broken sigh, and said--
-
-"I want to believe in a life after death, for then I should hope to see
-him again. But I cannot--I cannot! I have been trying ever since--that
-night"--speaking of it as if it were a long way off--"but I cannot--I
-cannot!"
-
-The bishop sat down again, and quoted St. Paul to her for a quarter of
-an hour; but those sublime words could not convince her. The cynic's
-blighting sneer had withered all that womanhood has of instinctive
-piety--of upward-looking reverence for the Christian ideal. There is no
-fire so scathing, no poison so searching, as the light ridicule of a
-master-mind. The woman who had been educated by Voltaire could not find
-hope or comfort in the great apostle's argument for immortality. Was
-not Paul himself only _trying_ to believe?
-
-"Dear lady, if I send you Bishop Butler's 'Analogy'--the most
-convincing argument for that future life we all long for--will you
-promise me to read it?"
-
-"I will read anything you please to send me, my lord; only I cannot
-promise to believe what I read."
-
-
-
-The funeral train left St. James's Square in the cool grey of a summer
-dawn. It consisted of but three carriages: the hearse, with all its
-pompous decorations, and drawn by six post-horses, a coach and six
-for Antonia and her father, and a second coach for the steward, the
-valet, Louis, and Mrs. Sophia Potter, who tried to keep her countenance
-composed in a becoming sadness, but could not help considering the
-journey a treat, and occasionally forgetting that dismal carriage which
-led the procession.
-
-They travelled by the Great Bath Road, halting at Hounslow for
-breakfast in the dust and dew of an exquisite morning; and it may be
-that Mr. Thornton, sitting at a well-furnished table by an open window
-overlooking all the bustle and gaiety of coaches and post-chaises
-arriving or departing, found it almost as hard a matter as Sophy did
-to maintain the proper dejection in voice and aspect, and not to enjoy
-himself too obviously.
-
-It was not so much the unwonted luxury of his surroundings as the
-unwonted respect of his fellow-men that inspired him. To have innkeeper
-and waiters hanging about him, as if he had been a prince--he, whom
-mine host of the Red Lion had ever treated on terms of equality; or if
-the scale had turned either way 'twas mine host who gave himself the
-privilege of insolence to a customer who was often in his debt.
-
-Antonia, shut in a room abovestairs with her maid, could not as
-yet taste the pleasures of her altered station. It was her father
-who derived enjoyment from her title, rolling it in his mouth with
-indescribable gusto--
-
-"Tell her ladyship, my daughter, that her coach is at the door.
-Lady Kilrush desires to lose no time on the road. Louis, see that
-her ladyship's smelling-salts are in the coach-pocket, and that her
-ladyship's woman does not keep her waiting."
-
-Louis, and Mr. Goodwin, the steward, had their little jests about Mr.
-Thornton; but Antonia had commanded their respect from the moment when
-she gave her instructions about the funeral. The capacity for command
-was hers, a quality that is in the character of man or woman, and which
-neither experience nor teaching can impart.
-
-The journey to Bristol occupied four days, and Mr. Thornton enjoyed
-himself more and more at the great inns on the Great Bath Road, eating
-his dinner and his supper in the luxurious seclusion of a private
-sitting-room, _tete-a-tete_ with an obsequious landlord or a loquacious
-head waiter, whose conversation kept him amused; and perhaps drinking
-somewhat deeper on account of Antonia's absence. Throughout the journey
-she had kept herself in strict seclusion, attended only by Sophy. All
-that the inn-servants saw of Lady Kilrush was a tall woman in deepest
-mourning who followed the head chambermaid to her room, and did not
-reappear till her coach was ready to start on the next stage.
-
-From Bristol the dismal convoy crossed to Queenstown in a Government
-yacht, with a fair wind, and no ill-adventure. At Queenstown the
-monotonous road-journey was resumed in hired coaches; and late on the
-third evening the _cortege_ drew up before Kilrush House, in the city
-of Limerick, a large red-brick house with its back to the river, hard
-by the bishop's palace, built before the battle of the Boyne.
-
-Entering this melancholy mansion, which had been left in the care of a
-superannuated butler and his feeble old wife for nearly thirty years,
-Mr. Thornton's spirits sank to zero. He had been indisposed during
-the sea-voyage, nor had the accommodation at Irish inns satisfied a
-taste enervated by the luxuries of the Great Bath Road; but the Irish
-landlords had offered him cheerful society, and the Irish grog had sent
-him merrily to his bed. But, oh! the gloom of Kilrush House in the
-summer twilight; the horror of that closed chamber where the form of
-the coffin showed vaguely under the voluminous velvet of the pall; and
-where tall wax candles shed a pale light upon vacant walls and scanty
-furniture, all that there had been of beauty and value in the town
-house of the Lords of Kilrush having been removed to St. James's Square
-when the late lord married.
-
-The funeral was solemnized on the following night, a torch-light
-procession, in which the lofty hearse, with its nodding plumes and
-pompous decoration of black velvet and silver, showed gigantic in the
-fitful flare of the torches, carried by a long train of horsemen who
-had assembled from far and near to do honour to the last Lord Kilrush.
-
-He had been an absentee for the greater part of his life; but the name
-was held in high esteem, and perhaps his countrymen had more respect
-for him dead than they would have felt had he appeared among them
-living. The news of the funeral train journeying over sea and land,
-and of the beautiful bride accompanying her dead bridegroom, had gone
-through the South of Ireland, and men of rank and family had travelled
-long distances to assist in those last honours. It was half a century
-since such a funeral _cortege_ had been seen in Limerick. And while the
-gentry came in hundreds to the ceremony, from the Irish town and the
-English town the rabble poured in throngs that must have been reckoned
-by thousands, Mr. Thornton thought, as he gazed from the coach window
-at a sea of faces: young women with streaming hair, spectral faces
-of old crones, their grey locks bound with red cotton handkerchiefs,
-rags, and semi-nakedness--all seeming phantasmagoric in the flickering
-light of the moving torches, all dreadful of aspect to the _habitue_ of
-London streets.
-
-But even more terrible than those wan faces and wild hair were the
-voices of that strange multitude, the wailing and sobbing of the women,
-the keening of the men, shrieks and lamentations, soul-freezing as the
-cry of the screech-owl or the howling of famished wolves. Thornton
-shrank shuddering into a corner of the mourning coach, which he shared
-with the chief mourner--that mute, motionless figure with shrouded
-face, in which he scarce recognized his daughter's familiar form.
-
-The horror of the scene deepened when they entered the church,
-that wild crew pressing after them, thrust back from the door with
-difficulty by the funeral attendants. The distance to be traversed
-had been short, but the coaches had moved at a foot pace, with a halt
-every now and then, as the crowd became impassable. To Thornton the
-ceremony seemed to have lasted for half the night, and it surprised him
-to hear the church clock strike twelve as they left the vault where
-George Frederick Delafield, nineteenth Baron Kilrush, was laid with his
-ancestors.
-
-It was over. Oh, the relief of it! This tedious business which had
-occupied nearly a fortnight was ended at last, and his daughter
-belonged to him again. He put his arm round her in the coach presently,
-and she sank weeping upon his breast. She had been tearless throughout
-the ceremony in the cathedral, and had maintained a statuesque
-composure of countenance, pale as marble against the flowing folds of a
-crape veil that draped her from brow to foot.
-
-"Let us get back to London, love," he said. "The horrors of this place
-would kill us if we stopped here much longer."
-
-"I want to see the house where he was born," she said.
-
-"Well, 'tis a natural desire, perhaps, for 'tis your own house now,
-Kilrush Abbey. The Abbey is but a ruin, I doubt; but there is a fine
-stone mansion and a park--all my Antonia's property--but a deucedly
-expensive place to keep up, I'll warrant."
-
-She did not tell him that her only interest in the Irish estate was
-on the dead man's account. Nothing she could say would check him in
-his jubilation at her change of fortune. It was best to let him enjoy
-himself in his own fashion. Their ages and places seemed reversed.
-It was she that had the gravity of mature years, the authority of a
-parent; while in him there was the inconsequence of a child, and the
-child's delight in trivial things.
-
-She had seen the starved faces in the crowd, the grey hairs and scanty
-rags; and she went next day with Sophy on a voyage of discovery in the
-squalid alleys of the English and the Irish towns, scattering silver
-among the poverty-stricken creatures who crowded round her as she
-moved from door to door. What blessings, what an eloquence of grateful
-hearts, were poured upon her as she distributed handfuls of shillings,
-fat crown pieces, showers of sixpences that the children fought for
-in the gutters--an injudicious form of charity, perhaps, but it gave
-bread to the hungry, and some relief to her over-charged heart. She had
-never enjoyed the luxury of giving before. It was the first pleasure
-she had known since her marriage, the first distraction for a mind that
-had dwelt with agonizing intensity upon one image.
-
-
-
-Mr. Goodwin, the late lord's steward, was one of those highly-trained
-servants who can render the thinking process a sinecure in the case
-of an indolent master. He had found thought and money for the funeral
-ceremony, and he showed himself equally capable in arranging Antonia's
-visit to the scene of her husband's birth and childhood, the cradle of
-her husband's race.
-
-At Kilrush, as in Limerick, she found a deserted mansion, maintained
-with some show of decency by half a dozen servants. Over all there
-brooded that melancholy shadow which falls upon a house where the glad
-and moving life of a family is wanting. One spot only showed in the
-beauty and brightness of summer, a rose-garden in front of a small
-drawing-room, a garden of less than an acre, surrounded by tall ilex
-hedges, neatly clipped.
-
-"'Tis the garden-parlour made for his lordship's mother when she came
-as a bride to Kilrush," Goodwin told Antonia, "and his lordship was
-very strict in his orders that everything should be maintained as her
-ladyship left it."
-
-In those days of mourning and regret, Antonia preferred the picturesque
-seclusion of Kilrush to any home that could have been offered to her.
-The fine park, with its old timber and views over sea and river,
-pleased her. She loved the ruined abbey, dark with ages, and mantled
-with ivy of more than a century's growth. The spacious dwelling-house,
-with its long suites of rooms and shadowy corridors--a house built when
-Ormond was ruling in Ireland, and when the Delafields lived half the
-year at their country seat, and divided the other half-year between
-Limerick and Dublin--the old-fashioned furniture, the family portraits
-by painters whose fame had never travelled across the Irish Channel,
-and most of all the gardens, screened by a belt of sea-blown firs,
-pleased their new owner, and she proposed to remain there till winter.
-
-"My dearest child, would you bury yourself alive in this desolate
-corner of the earth?" cried Thornton, whose nerves had hardly recovered
-from the horrors of the funeral, and who could not sleep without a
-rushlight for fear of the Delafield ghosts, who had indeed more than
-once in this shattered condition wished himself back in his two-pair
-chamber in Rupert Buildings. "Was there ever so unreasonable a fancy?
-You to seclude yourself from humanity! You who ought to be preparing
-yourself to shine in the _beau monde_, and who have still to acquire
-the accomplishments needful to your exalted station! The solid
-education, which it was my pride and delight to impart, might suffice
-for Miss Thornton; but Lady Kilrush cannot dispense with the elegant
-arts of a woman of fashion--the guitar, the harpsichord, to take part
-in a catch or a glee, or to walk a minuet, to play at faro, to ride, to
-drive a pair of ponies."
-
-"Oh, pray stop, sir. I shall never be that kind of woman. You have
-taught me to find happiness in books, and have made me independent of
-trivial pleasures."
-
-"Books are the paradise of the neglected and the poor, the solace of
-the prisoner for debt, the comfort of the hopeless invalid; but the
-accomplishments you call trivial are the serious business of people of
-rank and fortune, and to be without them is the stamp of the parvenu.
-My love, with your fortune, you ought to winter in Paris or Rome, to
-make the Grand Tour, like a young nobleman. Why should our sex have all
-the privileges of education?"
-
-The word Rome acted like a spell. Antonia's childish dreams--while life
-in the future lay before her in a romantic light--had been of Italy.
-She had longed to see the home of her Italian mother.
-
-"I should like to visit Italy by-and-by, sir," she said, "if you think
-you could bear so long a journey."
-
-"My love, I am an old traveller. Nothing on the road comes amiss to
-me--Alps, Apennines, Italian inns, Italian post-chaises--so long as
-there is cash enough to pay the innkeeper."
-
-"My dear father, I shall ever desire to do what pleases you," Antonia
-answered gently; "and though I love the quiet life here, I am ready to
-go wherever you wish to take me."
-
-"For your own advantage, my beloved child, I consider foreign travel of
-the utmost consequence--_imprimis_, a winter in Paris."
-
-"'Tis Italy I long for, sir."
-
-"Paris for style and fashion is of more importance. We would move to
-Italy in the spring. Indeed, my love, you make no sacrifice in leaving
-Kilrush, for Goodwin assures me we should all be murdered here before
-Christmas."
-
-"Mr. Goodwin hates the Irish. My heart goes out to my husband's people."
-
-"You can engage your chairmen from this neighbourhood by-and-by, and
-even your running-footmen. There are fine-looking fellows among them
-that might take kindly to civilization; and they have admirable legs."
-
-Having gained his point, Mr. Thornton did not rest till he carried his
-daughter back to London, where there was much to be done with the late
-lord's lawyers, who were surprised to discover a fine business capacity
-in this beautiful young woman whose marriage had so romantic a flavour.
-
-"Whether she has dropped from the skies or risen from the gutter, she
-is the cleverest wench of her years I ever met with, as well as the
-handsomest," said the senior partner in the old-established firm of
-Hanfield and Bonham, conveyancers and attorneys. "The way in which
-she puts a question and grasps the particulars of her estate would do
-credit to a king's counsel."
-
-Everything was settled before November, and good Mrs. Potter endowed
-with a pension which would enable her to live comfortably in the
-cottage at Putney without the labour of letting lodgings. Sophy was
-still to be Antonia's "woman;" but Mr. Thornton advised his daughter
-while in Paris to engage an accomplished Parisienne for the duties of
-the toilet.
-
-"Sophy is well enough to fetch and carry for you," he said, "and as you
-have known her so long 'tis like enough you relish her company; but
-to dress your head and look after your gowns you need the skill and
-experience of a trained lady's-maid."
-
-Thornton was enchanted at the idea of a winter in Paris. He had
-seen much of that gay city when he was a travelling tutor, and had
-loved all its works and ways. His sanguine mind had not considered
-the difference between twenty-five and the wrong side of fifty, and
-he hoped to taste all the pleasures of his youth with an unabated
-gusto. Alas! he found after a week in the Rue St. Honore that the only
-pleasures which retained all their flavour--which had, indeed, gained
-by the passage of years--were the pleasures of the table. He could
-still enjoy a hand at faro or lansquenet; but he could no longer sit
-at cards half the night and grow more excited and intent as darkness
-drew nearer dawn. He could still admire a slim waist and a neat ankle,
-a _mignonne frimousse_ under a black silk hood; but his heart beat
-no faster at the sight of joyous living beauty than at a picture by
-Greuze. In a word, he discovered that there is one thing wealth cannot
-buy for man or woman: the freshness of youth.
-
-His daughter allowed him to draw upon her fortune with unquestioning
-liberality. It was a delight to her to think that he need toil no more,
-forgetting how much of their literary labours of late years had been
-performed by her, and how self-indulgent a life the easy-going Bill
-Thornton had led between Putney and St. Martin's Lane.
-
-Antonia's desire in coming to Paris had been to lead a life of
-seclusion, seeing no one but the professors whom she might engage
-to complete her education; but a society in which beauty and wealth
-were ever potent was not likely to ignore the existence of the lovely
-Lady Kilrush, whose romantic marriage had been recorded in the
-_Parisian Gazette_, and whose establishment at a fashionable hotel in
-the Rue St. Honore was duly announced in all the newspapers. Visits
-and invitations crowded upon her; and although she excused herself
-from all large assemblies and festive gatherings on account of her
-mourning, she was too much interested in the great minds of the age
-to deny herself to the Marquise du Deffant, in whose salon she met
-d'Alembert, Montesquieu, and Diderot, then at the summit of his renown,
-and an ardent admirer of English literature. With him she discussed
-Richardson, whose consummate romances she adored, and whose friendship
-she hoped to cultivate on her return to London. With him she talked of
-Voltaire, whose arcadian life at Crecy had come to a tragical close by
-the sudden death of Madame du Chatelet, and who, having quarrelled with
-his royal admirer, Frederick, was now a wanderer in Germany--forbidden
-to return to Paris, where his classic tragedies were being nightly
-illustrated by the genius of Lekain and Mdlle. Clairon.
-
-To move in that refined and spiritual circle was a revelation of a new
-world to Thornton's daughter, a world in which everybody had some touch
-of that charm of mind and fancy which she had loved in Kilrush. The
-conversation of Parisian wits and philosophers reminded her of those
-vanished hours in the second-floor parlour above St. Martin's Church.
-Alas, how far away those lost hours seemed as she looked back at them,
-how infinitely sweeter than anything that Parisian society could give
-her!
-
-The people whose conversation pleased her most were the men and women
-who had known her husband and would talk to her of him. It was this
-attraction which had drawn her to the clever lady whose life had been
-lately shadowed by the affliction of blindness, a calamity which she
-bore with admirable courage and resignation. Antonia loved to sit at
-Madame du Deffant's feet in the wintry dusk, they two alone in the
-modest salon which the widowed marquise occupied in the convent of St.
-Joseph, having given up her hotel soon after her husband's death. It
-pleased her to talk of the friends of her youth, and Kilrush, who was
-of her own age, had been an especial favourite.
-
-"He was the most accomplished Englishman--except my young friend
-Walpole--that I ever knew," she said; "and although he had not all
-Walpole's wit, he had more than Walpole's charm. I look back along
-the vista of twenty troublesome years, and see him as if it were
-yesterday--a young man coming into my salon with a letter from
-the English ambassador. Dieu! how handsome he was then! That pale
-complexion, those classic features, and those dark grey eyes with
-black lashes--Irish eyes, I have heard them called! Thou shouldst be
-proud, child, to have been loved by such a man. And is it really true,
-now--thou needst have no reserve with an old woman--is it true that you
-and he had never been more than--friends, before that tragic hour in
-which the bishop joined your hands?"
-
-"I am sorry, madame, that you can think it necessary to ask such a
-question."
-
-"But, my dear, there was nothing in the world further from my thoughts
-than to wound you. Then I will put my question otherwise and again,
-between friends, in all candour. Are you not sorry, now that he is
-gone, now nothing that you can do could bring back one touch of his
-hand, one sound of his voice--does it not make you repent a little that
-Fate and you were not kinder to him?"
-
-"No, madame, I cannot be sorry for having been guided by my own
-conscience."
-
-There were tears in her voice, but the tone was steady.
-
-"What! you have a conscience--you who believe no more in God than that
-audacious atheist, Diderot?"
-
-"My conscience is a part of myself. It does not live in heaven."
-
-"What a Roman you are! I swear you were born two thousand years too
-late, and should have been contemporary with Lucretia. Well, thou
-hadst a remarkable man for thy half-hour husband, and thou didst work
-a miracle in bringing such a _roue_ to tie the knot; for I have heard
-him rail at marriage with withering cynicism, and swear that not for
-the greatest and loveliest princess in France would he wear matrimonial
-fetters."
-
-"Nay, chere marquise, I pray you say no ill of him."
-
-"Mon enfant, I am praising him. 'Twas but natural he should hate the
-marriage tie, having been so unlucky in his first wife. To have been
-handsome, accomplished, high-born, a prince among men, and to have been
-abandoned for a wretch in every way his inferior----"
-
-"Did you know the lady, madame?"
-
-"Yes, child, I saw her often in the first year of her marriage--a
-she-profligate, brimming over with a sensual beauty, like an over-ripe
-peach; a Rubens woman, white and red, and vapid and futile; conspicuous
-in every assembly by her gaudy dress, loud voice, and inane laughter."
-
-"How could he have chosen such a wife?"
-
-"'Twas she chose him. There are several versions of the story, but
-there is none that would not offend my Lucretia's modesty."
-
-"He had the air of a man who had been unhappy," said Antonia, with a
-sigh.
-
-"There is a kind of restless gaiety in your _roue_ which is a sure sign
-of inward misery," replied the friend of philosophers. "Happiness tends
-ever to repose."
-
-Mr. Thornton did not take kindly to the wits and philosophers of
-Madame du Deffant's circle. Perhaps he had an inward conviction that
-they saw through him, and measured his vices and weaknesses by a
-severe standard. The taint of the unforgotten jail hung about him,
-a humiliating sense of inferiority; while he was unfitted for the
-elegancies and refinements of modish society by those happy-go-lucky
-years in which he had lived in a kind of shabby luxury: the luxury
-of late hours, shirt-sleeves, clay pipes, and gin; the luxury of bad
-manners and self-indulgence.
-
-After attending his daughter upon some of her early visits to the
-Convent of St. Joseph, he fell back upon a society more congenial,
-in the taverns and coffee-houses, where he consorted with noisy
-politicians and needy journalists and authors, furbished up his French,
-which was good, and picked up the philosophical jargon of the day, and
-was again a Socrates among companions whose drink he was ever ready to
-pay for.
-
-Antonia devoted the greater part of her days and nights to
-self-improvement, practised the harpsichord under an eminent professor,
-and showed a marked capacity for music, though never hoping to do
-more than to amuse her lonely hours with the simpler sonatinas and
-variations of the composers she admired. She read Italian with one
-professor and Spanish with another; attended lectures on natural
-science, now the rage in Paris, where people raved about Buffon's
-"Theorie de la Terre." Her only relaxation was an occasional visit
-to the marquise, and to two other salons where a grave and cultured
-society held itself aloof from the frivolous pleasures of court and
-fashion; or an evening at the Comedie Francaise, where she saw Lekain
-in most of his famous _roles_.
-
-With the advent of spring she pleaded for the realization of her most
-cherished dream, and began to prepare for the journey to Italy, in
-spite of some reluctance on her father's part, whose free indulgence
-in the pleasures of French cookery and French wines had impaired a
-constitution that had thriven on Mrs. Potter's homely dishes, and had
-seemed impervious to gin. He looked older by ten years since he had
-lived as a rich man. He was nervous and irritable, he whose easy temper
-had passed for goodness of heart, and had won his daughter's affection.
-He was tormented by a restless impatience to realize all that wealth
-can yield of pleasure and luxury. He was miserable from the too ardent
-desire to be happy, and shortened his life by his eagerness to live.
-The theatres, the puppet-shows, the gambling-houses, the taverns where
-they danced--at every place where amusement was promised, he had been
-a visitor, and almost everywhere he had found satiety and disgust. How
-enchanting had been that Isle of Calypso, this Circean Cavern, when he
-first came to Paris, a tutor of five and twenty, the careless mentor of
-a lad of eighteen; how gross, how dull, how empty and foolish, to the
-man who was nearing his sixtieth birthday!
-
-He had fallen back upon the monotony of the nightly rendezvous at the
-Cafe Procope, seeing the same faces, hearing the same talk--an assembly
-differing only in detail from his friends of "The Portico"--and it
-vexed him to discover that this was all his daughter's wealth could buy
-for him in the most wonderful city in the world.
-
-"I am an old man," he told himself. "Money is very little use when one
-is past fifty. I fall asleep at the playhouse, for I hear but half the
-actors say. If I pay a neatly turned compliment to a handsome woman,
-she laughs at me. I am only fit to sit in a tavern, and rail at kings
-and ministers, with a pack of worn-out wretches like myself."
-
-Mr. Thornton and his daughter started for Italy in the second week
-of April, with a sumptuosity that was but the customary style of
-persons of rank, but which delighted the Grub-Street hack, conscious
-of every detail in their altered circumstances. They travelled with
-a suite of six, consisting of Sophy and a French maid, provided by
-Madame du Deffant, and rejoicing in the name of Rodolphine. Mr.
-Thornton's personal attendant was the late lord's faithful Louis, who
-was excellent as valet and nurse, but who, being used to the quiet
-magnificence of Kilrush, had an ill-concealed contempt for a master who
-locked up his money, and was uneasy about the safety of his trinkets.
-With them went a young medical man whom Antonia had engaged to take
-charge of her father's health--a needless precaution, Mr. Thornton
-protested, but which was justified by the fact that he was often
-ailing, and was nervous and apprehensive about himself. A courier and
-a footman completed the party, which filled two large carriages, and
-required relays of eight horses.
-
-Antonia delighted in the journey through strange places and picturesque
-scenery, with all the adventures of the road, and the variety of inns,
-where every style of entertainment, from splendour to squalor, was
-to be met with. Here for the first time she lost the aching sense of
-regret that had been with her ever since the death of Kilrush. The
-only drawback was her father's discontent, which increased with every
-stage of the journey, albeit the stages were shortened day after day
-to suit his humour, and he was allowed to stay as long as he liked at
-any inn where he pronounced the arrangements fairly comfortable. It was
-a wonder to his anxious daughter to see how he, who had been cheerful
-and good-humoured in his shabby parlour at Rupert Buildings, and had
-rarely grumbled at Mrs. Potter's homely cuisine, was now as difficult
-to please as the most patrician sybarite on the road. She bore with all
-his caprices, and indulged all his whims. She had seen a look in his
-face of late that chilled her, like the sound of a funeral bell. The
-time would come--soon perhaps--when she would look back and reproach
-herself for not having been kind enough.
-
-They travelled by way of Mont Cenis and Turin, and so to Florence,
-where they arrived late in May, having spent nearly six weeks on the
-road. It grieved Antonia to see that her father was exhausted by his
-travels, in spite of the care that had been taken of him. He sank into
-his armchair with the air of a man who had come to the end of a journey
-that was to be final.
-
-Florence was at its loveliest season, the streets full of flowers, and
-carriages, and well-dressed people rejoicing in the gaiety of balls and
-operas before retiring to the perfumed shades of their villa gardens
-among the wooded hills above the city. To Antonia the place was full of
-enchantment, but her anxiety about her father cast a shadow over the
-scene.
-
-Her most eager desire in coming to Italy had been to see her mother's
-country, and to see something of her mother's kindred; but Thornton
-had hitherto evaded all her questions, putting her off with a fretful
-impatience.
-
-"There is time enough to talk of them when we are in their
-neighbourhood, Tonia," he said. "Your mother had very few relations,
-and those who survive will have forgotten her. Why do you trouble
-yourself about them? They have never taken any trouble about you."
-
-"I want to see some one who loved my mother, some one of her country
-and her kin. Can't you understand how I feel about her, sir, the mother
-whose face I cannot remember, but who loved me when I was unconscious
-of her love? Oh, to think that she held me in her arms and kissed me,
-and that I cared nothing, knew nothing! and now I would give ten years
-of my life for one of those kisses."
-
-"Alas, my romantic child! Ah, Tonia, she was a lovely woman, the
-noblest, the sweetest of her sex. And you are like her. Take care of
-your beauty. Women in this country age early."
-
-"You have never told me my mother's maiden name, or where she lived
-before you married her."
-
-"Well, you shall visit her birthplace; 'tis a villa among the hills
-above the Lake of Como, a romantic spot. We will go there after
-Florence. I want to see Florence. 'Twas a place I enjoyed almost as
-much as Paris, when I was a young man. There were balls and assemblies
-every night, a regiment of handsome women, suppers and champagne. We
-were never abed till the morning, and never up till the afternoon."
-
-Antonia returned to the subject after they had spent a fortnight in
-Florence, and when the weather was growing too hot for a continued
-residence there. Mr. Daniels, the young doctor, and an Italian
-physician, had agreed in consultation that the sooner Mr. Thornton
-removed to a cooler climate the better for his chance of improvement.
-Daniels suggested Vallombrosa, where the monks would accommodate them
-in the monastery. The physician advised the Baths of Lucca. The patient
-objected to both places. He wanted to go to Leghorn, and get back to
-London by sea.
-
-"I am sick to death of Italy; and I believe a sea voyage would make me
-a strong man again. No man ought to be done for at my age."
-
-Antonia was ready to do anything that medical science might suggest,
-but found it very difficult to please a patient who was seldom of the
-same mind two days running.
-
-While doctors and patient debated, death threw the casting vote.
-Florentine sunshine is sometimes the treacherous ally of searching
-winds--those Italian winds which we know less by their poetical names
-than by their resemblance to a British north-easter. Mr. Thornton
-caught cold in a drive to Fiesole, and passed in a few hours to that
-region of half consciousness, the shadow-land betwixt life and death,
-where he could be no longer questioned as to the things he knew on
-earth.
-
-He died after three days' fever, with his hand clasped in his
-daughter's, and he died without telling her the name of the villa where
-his Italian wife had lived, or the name she had borne before he married
-her.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Lady Kilrush mourned her father better than many a better man has been
-mourned. She laid him in an English graveyard outside the city walls;
-and then, being in love with this divine Italy whose daughter she
-considered herself, she retired to a convent near Fiesole, where the
-nuns were in the habit of taking English lodgers, and did not object
-to a wealthy heretic. Here in the shade of ancient cloisters, and in
-gardens older than Milton, she spent the summer, leaving only in the
-late autumn for Rome, where Louis had engaged a handsome apartment for
-her in the Corso, and where she lived in as much seclusion as she was
-allowed to enjoy till the following May, delighting in the city which
-had filled so large a place in her girlish daydreams.
-
-"Never, never, never did I think to see those walls," she said, when
-her coach emerged from a narrow alley and she found herself in front of
-the Colosseum.
-
-"'Tis a fine large building, but 'tis a pity the roof is off," said
-Sophy.
-
-"What, child, did you think 'twas like Ranelagh, a covered place for
-dancing?"
-
-"I don't know what else it could be good for, unless it was a market,"
-retorted Sophy. "I never saw such a dirty town since I was born, and
-the stink of it is enough to poison a body."
-
-Miss Potter lived through a Roman winter with her nose perpetually
-tilted in chronic disgust; but she was delighted with the carnival, and
-with the admiration her own neat little person evoked, as she tripped
-about the dirty streets, with her gown pinned high, and a petticoat
-short enough to show slim ankles in green silk stockings. She admitted
-that the churches were handsomer than any she had seen in London,
-but vowed they were all alike, and that she would not know St. Maria
-Marjorum from St. John Latterend.
-
-In those days, when only the best and worst people travelled, and
-the humdrum classes had to stay at home, English society in Rome was
-aristocratic and exclusive; but Antonia's romantic story having got
-wind, she was called upon by several English women of rank who wished
-to cultivate the beautiful parvenu. Here, as in Paris, however, she
-excused herself from visiting on account of her mourning.
-
-"My dear child, do you mean to wear weeds for ever?" cried the lovely
-Lady Diana Lestrange, on her honeymoon with a second husband, after
-being divorced from the first. "Sure his lordship is dead near two
-years."
-
-"Does your ladyship think two years very long to mourn for a friend to
-whom I owe all I have ever known of love and friendship?"
-
-"I think it a great deal too long for a fine woman to disguise herself
-in crape and bombazine, and mope alone of an evening in the pleasantest
-city in Europe. You must be dying of _ennui_ for want of congenial
-society."
-
-"I am too much occupied to be dull, madam. I am trying to carry on my
-education, so as to be more worthy the station to which my husband
-raised me."
-
-"I swear you are a paragon! Well, we shall meet in town next winter,
-perhaps, if you do not join the blue-stocking circle, the Montagus and
-Carters, or turn religious, and spend all your evenings listening to
-a cushion-thumping Methodist at Lady Huntingdon's pious _soirees_. We
-have all sorts of diversions in town, Lady Kilrush, besides Ranelagh
-and Vauxhall."
-
-"Your ladyship may be sure I shall prefer Ranelagh to the Oxford
-Methodists. I was not educated to love cant."
-
-"Oh, the creatures are sincere, some of them, I believe; sincere
-fanatics. And the Wesleys have good blood. Their mother was an
-Annesley, Lord Valentia's great granddaughter. The Wesleys are
-gentlemen; and I doubt that is why people don't rave about them as they
-do about Whitefield, who was drawer in a Gloucester tavern."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Lady Kilrush went back to England in May, stopping at the Lake of Como
-on her way. She spent nearly a month on the shores of that lovely
-lake, visiting all the little towns along the coast, and exploring the
-white-walled villages upon the hills. She would have given so much
-to know in which of those villas whose gardens sloped to the blue
-water, or nestled in the wooded solitudes above the lake, had been her
-mother's birthplace.
-
-Thornton had amused his daughter in her childhood by a romantic
-version of his marriage, in which his wife appeared as a lovely young
-patrician, whom he had stolen from her stately home. His fancy had
-expatiated upon a moonlit elopement, the escaping lovers pursued by an
-infuriated father. The romance had pleased the child, and he hardly
-meant to lie when he invented it. He let the lambent flame of his
-imagination play around common facts. 'Twas true that his wife was
-lovely, and that he had stolen her from an angry father, whose helping
-hand she had been from childhood. The patrician blood, the villa were
-but details, the airy adornment of the tutor's love-story.
-
-Ignorant even of her mother's family name, it seemed hopeless for
-Antonia to discover the place of her birth; but it pleased her to
-linger in that lovely scene at the loveliest season of the year, to
-grow familiar with the country to which she belonged by reason of that
-maternal tie. She peered into the churches, thinking on the threshold
-of each that it was in such a temple her mother had worshipped in
-unquestioning piety, believing all the priests bade her believe.
-
-"Perhaps it is happiest to believe in fables, and never to have learnt
-to reason or doubt," she thought, seeing the kneeling figures in the
-shadowy chapels, the heads reverently bent, the lips whispering devout
-supplications, as the beads of the rosary slipped through the sunburnt
-fingers--a prayer for every bead.
-
-The house in St. James's Square had been prepared for its new mistress
-with a retinue in accordance with the statelier habits of the days of
-Walpole and Chesterfield, when a lady of rank and fortune required six
-running footmen to her chair, with a black page to walk in advance of
-it, and a mass of overfed flesh to sit in a hooded leather sentry-box
-in her hall and snub plebeian visitors.
-
-Antonia had instructed her steward to keep all the old servants who
-were worthy of her confidence, and to engage as many new ones as might
-be necessary; and so the household had all the air of a long-settled
-establishment where the servants had nothing to learn, and where the
-measure of their own importance was their mistress's dignity, of
-which they would abate no jot or tittle. It is only the hireling of
-yesterday, the domestic nomad, who disparages his master or mistress.
-
-Jewellers, milliners, mantua-makers, shoemakers, hairdressers flocked
-about Lady Kilrush the day after her arrival from Paris. All the
-harpies of Pall Mall and St. James's Street had been on the watch for
-her coming. Pictures, bronzes, porcelains, nodding mandarins, and
-Canton screens were brought for her inspection. The hall would have
-been like a fair but for the high-handed porter, whose fleshy person
-trembled with indignation at these assaults, and who sent fashionable
-shopmen to the rightabout as if they had been negro slaves. Thanks
-to his _savoir faire_, her ladyship was able to spend her morning in
-peace, and to see only the tradespeople who were necessary to her
-establishment. She gave her orders with a royal liberality, but she
-would have nothing forced upon her by officiousness.
-
-"I would rather not hear about your London fashions, Mrs. Meddlebury,"
-she told her respectable British dressmaker. "I have come straight
-from Paris, and know what the Dauphine is wearing. You will make my
-_negliges_ and my sacques as I bid you; and be sure you send to Ireland
-for a tabinet and a poplin, as I desire sometimes to wear gowns of
-Irish manufacture."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-
-A DUTY VISIT.
-
-
-Antonia's appearance at Leicester House was the occasion of a flight of
-newspaper paragraphs.
-
-The _St. James's Evening Post_ reminded its readers of the romantic
-marriage of a well-known Hibernian nobleman, "which we were the first
-to announce to the town, and of which full particulars were given in
-our columns; a freak of fancy on the part of the last Baron Kilrush,
-amply justified by the dazzling beauty of the young lady who made her
-curtsey to the Princess Dowager last week, sponsored by Lady Margaret
-Laroche, a connection of the late Lord Kilrush, and, as everybody
-knows, a star of the first magnitude in the _beau monde_." Here
-followed a description of the lady's personal appearance: her gown of
-white tabinet with a running pattern of shamrocks worked in silver, and
-the famous Kilrush pearls, which had not been seen for a quarter of a
-century.
-
-_Lloyd's_ was more piquant, and had recourse to initials. "It is not
-generally known that the lovely young widow who was the cynosure of
-neighbouring eyes at St. James's on his Majesty's birthday, began life
-in very humble circumstances. Her father, Mr. T----n, was bred for the
-Church, but spent his youth as an itinerant tutor to lads of fashion,
-and did not prove an ornament to his sacred calling. He brought his
-clerical career to a hasty close by an ill-judged indulgence of the
-tender passion. His elopement with a buxom wench from a Lincolnshire
-homestead would have caused him less trouble had not his natural
-gallantry induced him to relieve his sweetheart of the burden of
-her father's cash-box, for which mistaken kindness he suffered two
-years' seclusion among highwaymen and pickpockets. The beautiful Lady
-K----h was educated in the classics and in modern literature by this
-clever but unprincipled parent; and she is said to owe an independence
-of all religious dogma to the parental training. There is no such
-uncompromising infidel as an unfrocked priest."
-
-The _Daily Journal_ had its scraps of information. "A little bird
-has told us that the new beauty, whose appearance on the birthday so
-fluttered their dovecotes at St. James's Palace, spent her early youth
-in third-floor lodgings in a paved court adjoining St. Martin's Lane,
-where the young lady and her father drudged for the booksellers. 'Tis
-confidently asserted that this lovely _bas-bleu_ had a considerable
-share in several comedies and burlettas produced by Mr. Garrick under
-the ostensible authorship of her father. 'Tis rarely that genius,
-beauty, and wealth are to be found united in a widow of three and
-twenty summers. How rich a quarry for our fops and fortune-hunters!"
-
-The _St. James's_ held forth again on the same theme. "Among the
-numerous motives which conjecture has put forward for the mysterious
-marriage in high life some two years ago--the most interesting
-particulars of which we alone were able to supply--the real reason has
-been entirely overlooked. Our more intimate knowledge of the _beau
-monde_ enables us to hit the right nail on the head. By his deathbed
-union with the penniless daughter of a Grub-Street hack, Lord K----
-was able to gratify his hatred of the young gentleman who ought to
-have been his heir. We are credibly informed that this unfortunate
-youth, first cousin of the brilliant but eccentric Irish peer, is now
-subsisting on a pittance in a labourer's cottage on a common near
-Richmond Park."
-
-This last contribution to the literature of gossip seriously affected
-Antonia. She had read all the rest with a sublime indifference.
-She had been behind the scenes, and knew how such paragraphs were
-concocted--had, indeed, written a good deal of fashionable intelligence
-herself, collected by Mr. Thornton sometimes from the chairmen waiting
-at street corners, in those summer evening walks with his daughter, or
-in the grey autumn nights, when the town had a picturesque air in the
-long perspective of oil lamps that looked like strings of topazes hung
-upon the darkness. The Grub-Street hack had not thought it beneath him
-to converse in an affable humour with a chairman or a running footman,
-and so to discover how the most beautiful duchess in England was
-spending the evening, how much she lost at faro last night, and who it
-was handed her to her chair.
-
-Antonia threw aside the papers with a contemptuous smile. They stabbed
-her to the heart when they maligned her dead father; but she was wise
-enough to refrain from any attempted refutation of a slander in which,
-alas! there might be a grain of truth. Her father was at rest. The
-malicious paragraph could not hurt him, and for her own part she had a
-virile stoicism which helped her to bear such attacks. She looked back
-at her journalistic work, and was thankful to remember that she had
-never written anything ill-natured, even when her father had urged her
-to give more point to a paragraph, and to insinuate that a lover had
-paid the duchess's losses at cards, or that there had been a curious
-shuffling of new-born babies in the ducal mansion. Her sprightliest
-lines had shone with a lambent flame that hurt nobody.
-
-Her husband's rightful heir starving in a hovel! That was a concrete
-fact with which she could cope. But for the motive of that deathbed
-bond, she knew better than the hack scribbler; she knew that a
-passionate love, baulked and disappointed in life, had triumphed in the
-hour of death. He had bound her to himself to the end of her existence,
-in the sublime tyranny of that love which had not realized its strength
-till too late.
-
-And that he should be supposed to have been actuated by a petty
-spite--an old man's hatred of a youthful heir!
-
-"What reptiles these scribblers are!" she thought, "that will sell lies
-by the guinea's worth, and think themselves honest if they give full
-measure."
-
-She sent for Goodwin.
-
-"You must know all about his lordship's family," she said. "Can you
-tell me of any cousin whom he may be said to have disinherited?"
-
-"There is no one who could be rightly called his lordship's heir, my
-lady; but there is a young gentleman, a cousin, only son to a sister
-of his lordship's father, who may at one time have expected to come
-into some of the property, the entail having expired, and there being
-no direct heir in existence."
-
-"Had this gentleman offended his lordship?"
-
-"Yes, my lady. He behaved very badly indeed, and his lordship forbade
-him the house."
-
-"Was he dissipated--a spendthrift?"
-
-"No, my lady. I don't think his lordship would have taken that so ill
-in a fine young man with a wealthy mother. It would have been only
-natural for him to be a man of pleasure. But Mr. Stobart's conduct was
-very bad indeed. He left the army----"
-
-"A coward?"
-
-"No, my lady, I don't think we can call him that. He was singled out
-for his dash and spirit in the retreat at Fontenoy, where he saved the
-life of his superior officer at the risk of his own. But soon after
-his regiment came home he took up religion, left off powdering his
-hair, sold his commission, and gave the money to the building fund for
-Wesley's Chapel in the City Road."
-
-"He must be a foolish fellow, I think," said Antonia, who was not
-fascinated by this description. "And was his lordship seriously
-offended by this conduct?"
-
-"He didn't like the young gentleman turning Methodist, my lady; but
-that was not the worst."
-
-"Indeed?"
-
-"Mr. Stobart made a low marriage."
-
-"What? Did he marry a woman of bad character?"
-
-"I don't think there was anything against the young woman's
-_character_, my lady; but she was very low, a servant of Mrs.
-Stobart's, I believe, and a Methodist. John Wesley's influence was
-at the bottom of it all. There's no reckoning the harm those Oxford
-Methodists have done in high families. Well, there's Lady Huntingdon!
-There's no need to say more than that."
-
-"But how comes this gentleman to be in poor circumstances, as the _St.
-James's Post_ states, if his mother is rich?"
-
-"Oh, my lady, the honourable Mrs. Stobart was quite as angry as his
-lordship, and she married Sir David Lanigan, an Irish baronet, who
-courted her when she was a girl at Kilrush Abbey. Your ladyship would
-notice her portrait in the long drawing-room at Kilrush."
-
-"Yes, yes, I remember--a handsome face, with a look of his lordship.
-Then you have reason to believe that Mr. Stobart is living in poverty,
-as a consequence of his love-match?"
-
-Her cheek crimsoned as she spoke, recalling that bitterest hour of
-her life in which Kilrush had told her that he could not marry her.
-That inexorable pride--the pride of the name-worshippers--had darkened
-this young man's existence, as it had darkened hers. But he, at least,
-had shaken off the fetters of caste, and had taken his own road to
-happiness.
-
-"Thank you, Goodwin; that is all I want to know," she said.
-
-An hour later she was being driven to Richmond in an open carriage,
-with the faithful Sophy seated opposite her, in the dazzling June
-sunshine. They stopped at Putney to spend half an hour with Mrs.
-Potter, and then drove on to the village of Sheen, and pulled up at a
-roadside inn, where Antonia inquired for Mr. Stobart's cottage, and was
-agreeably surprised at finding her question promptly answered.
-
-"'Tis about a mile from here, your ladyship," said the landlord,
-who had run out of his bar-parlour to wait upon a lady in as fine a
-carriage as any that passed his door on a Saturday afternoon, when
-court and fashion drove to Richmond to air themselves in the Park and
-play cards at modish lodgings on the Green. "'Tis a white cottage
-facing the common--the first turning on the left hand will take you to
-it; but 'tis a bad road for carriages."
-
-They drove along the high road for about a quarter of a mile, between
-market gardens, where the asparagus beds showed green and feathery, and
-where the strawberry banks were white with blossom, under the blue sky
-of early June. The hedges were full of hawthorn bloom and honeysuckle,
-dog-roses and red campion.
-
-"Sure, the country's a sweet place to come to for an afternoon," said
-Sophy, as she sniffed the purer air; "but I'm glad we live in London."
-
-The lane was narrow and full of ruts, so Antonia alighted at the
-turning and sent Sophy and the carriage back to the inn to wait for
-her. Sophy had a volume of a novel in her reticule, and would be able
-to amuse herself.
-
-The walk gave Antonia time for quiet thought before she met the man
-who might receive her as an enemy. She was going to him with no
-high-flown ideas of restitution--of surrendering a fortune that she
-knew to be the bequest of love. She had accepted that heritage without
-compunction. She had given herself to the dead, and she thought it
-no wrong to receive the fortune that the dead had given to her. But
-if her husband's kinsman was in poor circumstances, it was her duty
-to share her riches with him. She had an instinctive dislike of all
-professors of religion; but she could but admire this young man for the
-humble marriage which had offended his cousin, and perhaps lost him a
-substantial part of his cousin's fortune.
-
-The lane was a long one, between untrimmed hedges that breathed the
-delicate perfume of wild flowers, on one side a field of clover, a
-strawberry garden on the other. It was a relief to have left the dust
-of the high road, and the burden of Sophy's running commentary upon the
-houses and carriages and people on their way. Sheen Common lay before
-her at last, an undulating expanse carpeted with short sweet turf,
-where the lady's-slipper wrought a golden pattern on the greyish green,
-and where the yellow bloom of the gorse rose and fell over the hillocky
-ground in a dazzling perspective. Larks were singing in the midsummer
-blue, and behind the park wall, built when the first Charles was king,
-the rooks were calling amidst the darkness of forest trees. Close on
-her left hand as she came out of the lane, Antonia saw a cottage which
-she took for the labourer's hovel indicated in the _St. James's Evening
-Post_. It had been once a pair of cottages, with deeply sloping thatch
-and crow-step gables above end walls of red brick; but it was now one
-house in a flower-garden of about an acre, surrounded with a hedge of
-roses and lavender, inside a low white paling. The plastered porch,
-with its broad bench and little square window, was big enough for two
-or three people to sit in; the parlour casements were wide and low, and
-none of the rooms could have been above seven or eight feet high; but
-this humble dwelling, contemplated on the outside, had those charms of
-the picturesque and the rustic which are apt to make people forget
-that houses are meant to be lived in rather than to be looked at from
-over the way.
-
-The garden was prettier than her own old garden at Putney, Tonia
-thought. Never had she seen so many flowers in so small a space.
-While she stood admiring this little paradise, out of range of the
-windows, she was startled by the sound of a voice close by; and then,
-for the first time, she became aware of a domestic group under an old
-crab-apple tree, which was big enough to spread a shade over a young
-man and woman sitting side by side on a garden bench, and a very
-juvenile nursemaid kneeling on the grass and supervising the movements
-of a crawling baby.
-
-The young man was Mr. Stobart, no doubt; and the girl who sat sewing
-diligently, with bent head, and who looked hardly eighteen years of
-age, must be his wife; and the baby made the natural third in the
-domestic trio, the embodied grace and sanction of a virtuous marriage.
-
-He was reading aloud from "Paradise Lost," the story of Adam and Eve
-before the coming of the Tempter. He had a fine baritone voice, and
-gave full effect to the music of Milton's verse, reading as a man who
-loves the thing he reads. In the restrictions which piety imposed upon
-the choice of books, he had been over the same ground much oftener than
-a more libertine student would have been; and this may have accounted
-for the young wife's appearance of being more interested in the hem of
-her baby's petticoat than in Milton's Eve.
-
-"A simpleton," thought Tonia. "'Tis not every man would forfeit wealth
-and station for such a wife. But she looks sweet-tempered, and as free
-from earthly stain as a sea-nymph."
-
-She went on to the low wooden gate, as white as if it had been painted
-yesterday, and rang a primitive kind of bell that hung on the gate-post.
-
-The young woman laid down her sewing, and came to open the gate with
-the air of doing the most natural thing in the world; but on perceiving
-Antonia's splendour of silver-grey lute-string and plumed hat she
-stopped in confusion, dropping a low curtsey before she admitted the
-visitor.
-
-Antonia thought her lovely. Those velvety brown eyes set off the
-delicacy of her complexion, while the bright auburn of her unpowdered
-hair, which fell about her forehead and hung upon her neck in natural
-curls, gave a vivid beauty to a face that without brilliant colouring
-would have meant very little. She had the exquisite freshness of
-creatures that do not think--almost without passions, quite without
-mind.
-
-"I think you must be Mrs. Stobart," Tonia said gently. "I have come to
-see your husband, if he will be good enough to receive me. I am Lady
-Kilrush."
-
-The timid sweetness of Mrs. Stobart's expression changed in a moment,
-and an angry red flamed over cheeks and brow.
-
-"Then I'm sure I don't know what can be your ladyship's business here,
-unless you have come to crow over us," she said, "for I know you wasn't
-invited."
-
-Stobart came to the gate in time to hear his wife's speech.
-
-"Pray, my dear Lucy, let us have no ill-nature," he said, with grave
-displeasure, as he opened the gate. "You see, madam, my wife has not
-been bred in the school that teaches us how to hide our feelings. I
-hope your ladyship will excuse her for being too simple to be polite."
-
-"I am sorry if she or you can think of me as an enemy," said Antonia,
-very coldly. She had been startled out of her friendly feeling by Mrs.
-Stobart's unexpected attack. "I only knew a few hours ago, from an
-insolent paragraph in a newspaper, that there was any one living who
-could think himself the worse for my marriage."
-
-"Indeed, madam, I have never blamed you or Providence for that romantic
-incident. Will your ladyship sit under our favourite tree, where my
-wife and I have been sitting, or would you prefer to be within doors?"
-
-"Oh, the garden by all means. I adore a garden; and yours is the
-prettiest for its size I have ever seen, except the rose-garden at
-Kilrush Abbey, which I dare swear you know."
-
-"My aunt's garden? Yes. I was just old enough to remember her leading
-me by the hand among her rose trees. She died before my fourth
-birthday, and I have never seen Kilrush House since her death."
-
-"'Tis vastly at your service, sir, with all it can offer of
-accommodation, if ever you and your lady care to occupy it for a
-season."
-
-They were moving slowly towards the apple tree as they talked, Lucy
-Stobart hanging her head as she crept beside her husband, ashamed of
-her shrewish outburst, for which she expected a lecture by-and-by, and
-shedding a penitential tear or two behind a corner of her muslin apron.
-
-"We shall not trespass on your ladyship's generosity. We have framed
-our lives upon a measure that would make Kilrush House out of the
-question."
-
-"We are not rich enough to live in a great house," snapped Lucy,
-sinning again in the midst of her repentance.
-
-"Say rather that we have done with the things that go with wealth and
-station, and have discovered the happiness that can be found in what
-fine people call poverty."
-
-Nursemaid and baby had disappeared from the little lawn. Antonia took
-the seat Mr. Stobart indicated on the rustic bench; but her host and
-his wife remained standing, Lucy puzzled as to what she ought to do,
-George too much troubled in mind to know what he was doing.
-
-"Mrs. Stobart, and you, sir, pray be seated. Let us be as friendly as
-we can," pleaded Antonia. "Be sure I came here in a friendly spirit.
-Pray be frank with me. I know nothing but what I read in the _St.
-James's Evening Post_. Is it true that you were once your cousin's
-acknowledged heir?"
-
-"No, madam, it is not true. I was but his lordship's nearest relation."
-
-"And he would have inherited his lordship's fortune if he had not
-married me," said Lucy, with irrepressible vehemence. "Sure you know
-'twas so, George! And I can never forgive myself for having cost you
-a great fortune. And then Lord Kilrush must needs make a much lower
-marriage--on his death-bed, to spite you, for _my_ father had never
-been----"
-
-Her husband clapped his hand over her lips before she could finish the
-sentence. Antonia started up from the bench, pale with indignation.
-
-"Lucy, I am ashamed of you," said George. "Go indoors and play with
-your baby. You do not know how to converse with a lady. I beg you to
-forgive her, madam, and to think of her as a pettish child, who will
-learn better behaviour in time."
-
-"I can forgive much, but not to hear it said that Kilrush had any other
-motive than his love for me when he made me his wife. I loved him,
-sir--loved him too dearly to suffer that falsehood for an instant. No,
-Mrs. Stobart, don't go," as Lucy began to creep away, ashamed of her
-misconduct. "You must hear why I came, and what I have to say to your
-husband. I came as a friend, and I hoped to find a friendly welcome. I
-came to do justice, if justice can be done, but not to apologize for a
-marriage which was prompted by love, and love alone."
-
-"Be patient with us, madam, and you may yet find us worthy of your
-friendship," said Stobart, gently. "But first of all be assured that we
-ask nothing from your generosity. We assert no claim to justice, not
-considering ourselves wronged."
-
-"You think differently from your wife, Mr. Stobart."
-
-"Oh, madam, cannot you see that my wife is a wayward child, who has
-never learnt to reason? To-night, on her knees at the foot of the
-Cross, she will shed penitential tears for her sins of pride and
-impatience."
-
-"Pray, sir, do not talk of sin. 'Twas natural, perhaps, that your wife
-should think ill of me."
-
-"Oh, madam, 'twas for his sake only that I was angry," protested Lucy,
-with streaming eyes. "Satan gets the better of me when I remember that
-he was disinherited for marrying me; and I thought you had come here to
-triumph over him. But, indeed, I covet nobody's fortune, and am content
-with this dear cottage, where I have been happier than I ever was in my
-life before."
-
-"Let us be friends, then, Mrs. Stobart," Antonia said, with a
-graciousness that completely subjugated the contrite Lucy, whose
-murmured reply was inaudible, and who sat gazing at the visitor in a
-rapture of admiration.
-
-Never had Lucy's eyes beheld so handsome a woman, or such a hat, with
-its black ostrich feathers, clasped at the side by a diamond buckle
-that flashed rainbow light in the sunshine. The glancing sheen of the
-pale grey gown, the long gloves drawn to the elbow under deep ruffles
-of Flemish lace, the diamond cross sparkling between the folds of
-Cyprus gauze that veiled the corsage, the _tout-ensemble_ of a fine
-lady's toilette, filled Mrs. Stobart with wonder. Wholly unconscious of
-the impression she had made on the wife, Antonia addressed herself to
-the husband with an earnest countenance.
-
-"I am thankful to find you do not accuse Lord Kilrush of injustice,"
-she said. "But as his kinsman, you may naturally have expected to
-inherit some part of his wealth; and I therefore beg you to accept a
-fourth share of my income, which is reckoned at twenty thousand pounds.
-I hope that with five thousand a year your wife will be able to enjoy
-all the pleasures that fortune can give."
-
-"Oh, Georgie!" exclaimed Lucy, breathless with a rapturous surprise.
-
-Her husband laid his hand on hers with a caressing touch.
-
-"Hush, my dearest," he said; and then in a graver tone, "Your offer is
-as unexpected as it is generous, madam; but I will not take advantage
-of an impulse which you might afterwards regret, and of which the world
-you live in would question the wisdom. Be sure I do not envy you my
-kinsman's fortune. If I ever stood in the place of his heir I lost that
-place two years before he died. He told me plainly that he meant to
-strike my name out of his will. I hoped for nothing, desired nothing
-from him."
-
-"But sure, sir, nobody loves poverty. I have tasted it, and know what
-it means; and since I have enjoyed all the luxuries of wealth I own
-that it would distress me to go back to the two-pair parlour of which
-the evening papers love to remind me."
-
-"True, madam; for in your world pleasure and money are inseparable
-ideas. When I left that world--at the call of religion--I renounced
-something far dearer to me than fortune. I gave up a soldier's career,
-and the hope to serve my country, and write my name upon her register
-of honourable deeds. Having made that sacrifice, I have nothing to
-lose, except the lives of those I love--nothing to desire for them or
-for myself, except that our present happiness may continue."
-
-"But if I assure you that your acceptance of my offer would ease my
-conscience----"
-
-"Nay, madam, your conscience may rest easy in the assurance that we are
-content----"
-
-"I do not think your wife is content, Mr. Stobart. She received me just
-now as an enemy. Let me convince her that I am her friend."
-
-"You can do that in a hundred ways, madam, without making her rich,
-which would be to be her enemy in disguise."
-
-"Sure, your ladyship, I was full of sinfulness and pride when I spoke
-to you so uncivilly," Lucy said, in a contrite voice. "Mr. Stobart is a
-better judge of all serious matters than I am. I should never be clever
-if I lived to be a hundred, in spite of the pains he takes to teach me.
-And if he thinks we had best be poor, why, so do I; and this house is a
-palace compared with the hovel I lived in before he took me away from
-my father and mother."
-
-"You hear, Lady Kilrush, my wife and I are of one mind. But to prove
-that 'tis for no stubborn pride that I reject your generous offer, I
-promise to appeal to your kindness at any hour of need, and, further,
-to call upon you once in a way for those charitable works in which
-the men I most honour are engaged. There is Mr. Whitefield's American
-Orphanage, for example----"
-
-"Oh, command my purse, I pray you, sir. I rejoice in helping the
-poor--I who have known poverty. I will send you something for your
-orphans to-night. Let me assist all your good works."
-
-"'Tis very generous of your ladyship to help us; for I doubt your own
-religious views scarcely tally with those of my friends."
-
-"I have no religious views, Mr. Stobart. I have no religion except the
-love of my fellow-creatures."
-
-"Great Heaven, madam, have the undermining influences of a corrupt
-society so early sapped your belief in Christ?"
-
-"No, sir, society has not influenced me. I have never been a believer
-in Christianity as a creed, though I can admire Jesus of Nazareth as a
-philanthropist, and grieve for him as a martyr to the cruelty of man.
-I was taught to reason, where other children are taught to believe; to
-question and to think for myself, where other children are taught to be
-dumb and to stifle thought."
-
-Stobart gazed at her with horror. Mrs. Stobart listened open-mouthed,
-astonished at the audacity which could give speech to such opinions.
-
-"Oh, madam, 'tis sad to hear outspoken unbelief from the lips of youth.
-I doubt you have suffered the influence of that pernicious writer whose
-pen has peopled France with infidels."
-
-"If, sir, you mean Voltaire, you do ill to condemn the apostle of
-toleration, to whom you and all other dissenters should be grateful."
-
-"I scorn the championship of an infidel. I am no more a dissenter than
-the Wesleys or George Whitefield. I have not ceased to belong to the
-Church of England because I follow heaven-born teachers sent to startle
-that Church from a century of torpor. _They_ have not ceased to be of
-the Church because bishops disapprove their ardour and parish priests
-exclude them from their pulpits."
-
-"Oh, sir, I doubt not that you and those gentlemen are honest in your
-convictions. 'Tis my misfortune, perhaps, that I cannot think as you
-do."
-
-"If you would condescend to hear those inspired preachers you would not
-long walk in the darkness that now encompasses you; for sure, madam,
-God meant you to be among the children of light, one of His elect,
-awaiting but His appointed hour for your redemption. Oh, after that new
-birth, how you will hate the life that lies behind! With what tears you
-will atone for your unbelief!"
-
-His earnestness startled her. His strong voice trembled, his dark
-grey eyes were clouded with tears. Could any man so concern himself
-about the spiritual welfare of a stranger? She had grown up with a
-deep-rooted prejudice against professing Christians. She expected
-nothing from religious people but harshness and injustice, self-esteem
-and arrogance, masked under an assumption of humility. This man talked
-the jargon she hated, but she could not doubt his sincerity.
-
-"Alas! madam, my heart aches for you, when I consider the peril of your
-soul. With youth and beauty, wealth, the world's esteem--all Satan's
-choicest lures--what safeguard, what defence have you?"
-
-"Moi!" she answered, rising suddenly, and looking proud defiance at
-him, remembering that heroic monosyllable in Corneille's "Medea."
-"Oh, sir, it is on ourselves--on the light within, not the God in the
-sky--we must depend in the conflict between right and wrong. Do you
-think a creed can help a man in temptation, or that the Thirty-Nine
-Articles ever saved a sinner from falling?"
-
-He was silent, lost in admiration at so much spirit and beauty, such
-boldness and pride. His own ideal of womanly grace was gentleness,
-obedience, an amiable nullity; but he must needs own the triumphant
-charms of this bold disputant, who was not afraid to confess an impiety
-that shocked him. He had known many Deists among his own sex; but the
-wickedest women he had met in his unregenerate days had been like the
-devils that believe and tremble.
-
-"I have stayed over long," said Antonia, resuming the easy tone of
-trivial conversation, "and I have my woman waiting for me at the inn.
-Good day to you, Mrs. Stobart, and pray remember we are to be friends.
-I hope your husband will bring you to dine with me in St. James's
-Square."
-
-"I know not if it would be wise to accept your ladyship's polite
-invitation," Stobart answered, "though we are grateful for the kindness
-that inspires it. I have an inward assurance that I am safest in
-keeping aloof from the world I once loved too well. My life here holds
-all that is good for my soul--all that my heart can desire."
-
-"But is your religion but a passive piety, sir? Do you follow the
-doctrine of the Moravians, who abjure all active righteousness, and
-wait in stillness for the coming of faith? Do you do nothing for
-Christianity?"
-
-"Indeed, madam, he works like a slave in doing good," protested
-Lucy, eagerly. "Mr. Wesley has given him a mission among the poorest
-wretches at Lambeth. He has set up a dispensary there, and schools for
-the children, and a night class for grown men. He toils among them
-for many hours three or four days a week. I tremble lest he should
-take some dreadful fever, and come home to me only to die. He goes
-to the prisons, and reads to the condemned creatures, and comes home
-broken-hearted at the cruelty of the law, at the sinfulness of mankind.
-What does he do for religion? He gives his life for it--almost as his
-Redeemer did!"
-
-"You teach me to honour him, madam, and to honour you for so generously
-defending him against my impertinence. Pray forgive me, and you too,
-Mr. Stobart. I have allowed myself great freedom of speech; and if you
-do not return my visit I shall be sure you are offended."
-
-"We shall not suffer you to think that, madam," Stobart answered
-gravely.
-
-He insisted on escorting her to her carriage, and in the walk of
-nearly a mile they had time for conversation. He suffered himself for
-that brief span to acknowledge the existence of mundane things, and
-talked of Handel's oratorios, Richardson's novels, and even of Garrick
-and Shakespeare. He handed Lady Kilrush to her carriage, and saw her
-drive away from the inn door, a radiant vision in the afternoon light,
-before he went back to the cottage, and the adoring young wife, and the
-yearling baby, and a dish of tea, and the story of Eve and the Serpent.
-
-The next day's post brought him an enclosure of two bank bills for five
-hundred pounds each, and one line in a strong and somewhat masculine
-penmanship.
-
-
-
- "For your poor of Lambeth, and for Mr. Whitefield's orphans.
-
- "ANTONIA KILRUSH."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-
-ANTONIA'S INITIATION.
-
-
-'Twas the close of the season when Antonia arrived in London, and
-she left St. James's Square two days after her interview with the
-Stobarts, on a visit to Lady Margaret Laroche at Bath, where that
-lady's drawing-rooms in Pulteney Street were open every evening to
-those worldlings who preferred whist and commerce to Whitefield, and
-the airy gossip of the _beau monde_ to the heart-searchings of the
-aristocratic penitents who attended Lady Huntingdon's assemblies. Lady
-Margaret, familiarly known in the fashionable world as Lady Peggy,
-was one of those rare and delightful women who, without any desire to
-revolutionize, dare to think for themselves, and to arrange their lives
-in accord with their own tastes and inclinations, unshackled by the
-mode of the moment. Her circle was the most varied and the pleasantest
-in London and Bath, and she carried with her an atmosphere of easy
-gaiety which made her an element of cheerfulness in every house she
-visited. In a word, she had _esprit_, which, united with liberal ideas
-and far-reaching sympathies, made her the most delightful of companions
-as well as the staunchest of friends.
-
-This lady--a distant cousin of Lord Kilrush's--had deemed it her duty
-to wait upon Antonia; and, finding as much intelligence as beauty, took
-the young widow under her wing and promised to make her the fashion.
-
-"With so fine a house and so good an income you will like to see
-people," she said. "You had best spend a month with me at the Bath,
-where you will meet at least half the great world, and you will grow
-familiar with them there in less time than 'twould take you to be
-on curtseying terms in London, where the Court takes up so much of
-everybody's attention, and politics go before friendship. At the Bath
-we are all Jack and Peggy, my dear and my love. We eat badly cooked
-dinners in sweltering parlours, dance or gossip in a mixed mob at the
-Rooms every night, and simmer together in a witches' cauldron every
-morning; at least, other people do; but for my own part I abjure all
-such community in ailments."
-
-At Bath Antonia found herself the rage in less than a fortnight, and
-had a crowd round her whenever she appeared among the morning dippers
-or at the evening dance. She was voted the most magnificent creature
-who had appeared since Lady Coventry began to go off in looks; and the
-men almost hustled each other for the privilege of handing her to her
-chair.
-
-She accepted their attentions with a lofty indifference that enhanced
-her charms. Men talked of her "goddess air;" and in that age of
-_sobriquets_ she was soon known as Juno and as Diana. She kept them all
-at an equal distance, yet was polite to all. Her sense of humour was
-tickled by the memory of those evening walks with her father in the
-West End streets, when she had caught stray glimpses of fashionable
-assemblies through open windows. "Was I as perfect a creature then as
-the woman they pretend to worship?" she questioned; "and, if I was,
-how strange that of all the men who passed me in the street, there was
-but one now and then, and he some hateful Silenus, that ever tried to
-pursue me. But I had not my white and silver gown then, nor the Kilrush
-jewels, nor my coach and six."
-
-She had a supreme contempt for adulation which she ascribed to
-her fortune rather than to her charms; and Lady Margaret saw with
-satisfaction that her _protegee's_ head was not one of those that the
-first-comer can turn.
-
-"'Tis inevitable you should take a second husband," she said, "but I
-hope you will wait for a duke."
-
-"There is no duke in England would tempt me, dear Lady Peggy. I shall
-carry my husband's name to the grave, where I hope to lie beside him."
-
-"'Tis a graceful, romantic fancy you cherish, child; but be sure there
-will come a day when some warm living love will divert your thoughts
-from that icy rendezvous."
-
-"Ah, madam, think how inimitable a lover I lost."
-
-"I know he was an insinuating wretch whom women found irresistible; but
-you are too young to hang over an urn for the rest of your days, like
-a marble figure in Westminster Abbey. There is a long life before you
-that you must not spend in solitude."
-
-"While I have so kind a friend as your ladyship I can never think
-myself alone."
-
-"Alas! Antonia, I am an old woman. My friendship is like the fag end of
-a lease."
-
-Lady Margaret was the widow of an admiral, with a handsome jointure,
-and a small neat house in Spring Gardens, where she was visited by
-all the best people in town, and by all the best-known painters,
-authors, and actors of the day, who were often to be found at four
-o'clock seated round her ladyship's dinner-table, and drinking her
-ladyship's admirable port and burgundy. Temperate herself as a sylph,
-Lady Peggy was a judge of wines, and always gave the best. She had a
-clever Scotchwoman for her cook, and a Frenchman for her major-domo,
-who kept her two Italian footmen in order, and did not think it beneath
-his dignity to compose a salmi, toss an omelet, or dress a salad on a
-special occasion, when a genius of the highest mark or a princess of
-the blood royal was to dine with his mistress.
-
-With such a guide Antonia opened her house to the great world early in
-November, and her entertainments became at once the top of the fashion.
-Lady Margaret had instructed her in the whole science of party-giving,
-and especially whom to invite and whom to leave out.
-
-"'Tis by the people who are _not_ asked your parties will rank
-highest," she said.
-
-"Sure, dear madam, I should not like to slight any one."
-
-"Pshaw, woman, if you never slight any one you will confess yourself
-a parvenu. The first art a _grande dame_ has to learn is how to be
-uncivil civilly. You must be gracious to every one you meet; but you
-cannot be too exclusive when it comes to inviting people."
-
-"But if I am to look for spotless reputations my rooms will be empty;"
-and Antonia smiled at the thought of how small and dowdy a crew she
-could muster were stainless virtue the pass-word.
-
-"You will invite nobody who has been found out--no woman who has thrown
-her cap over the mill, no man who has been _detected_ cheating at
-cards. There are lots of 'em _do_ it, but that don't count."
-
-"But, dear Lady Margaret, among the actresses and authors you receive
-sure there must be some doubtful characters."
-
-"Not doubtful, _cherie;_ we know all about 'em. But _their_ peccadillos
-don't count. We inquire no more about 'em than about the morals of
-a dancing bear. The creatures are there to amuse us, and we are
-not curious as how they behave in their garrets and back parlours.
-But 'twas not so much reputation I thought of when I urged you to
-be exclusive. 'Tis the ugly and the dull you must eliminate; the
-empty chatterers; the corpulent bores, who block doorways and crowd
-supper-rooms. There's your visiting list, _douce_," concluded Lady
-Peggy, handing her a closely written sheet of Bath post. "'Tis the salt
-of the earth, and if you ever introduce an unworthy name in it out of
-easy good nature, you deserve to lose all hope of fashion."
-
-To be the fashion, to be one of the chosen few whom all foreigners
-and outsiders want to see; to be mobbed in the Park, stared at in the
-playhouse and at the opera; to be imitated in dress, gesture, speech;
-to introduce the latest mispronunciation and call Bristol "Bristo,"--is
-it not the highest prize in the lottery of woman's life? To be famous
-as painter, poet, actor? Alas! a fleeting renown. The new generation is
-at the door. The veteran must give way. But the empire of fashion is
-more enduring, and having won _that_ crown, a woman must be a simpleton
-if she do not wear it all her life, and bring the best people in town
-to gape and whisper round her death-bed.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Antonia's first ball was a triumph. The lofty suites of rooms, the
-double staircase and surrounding gallery were thronged with rank and
-beauty; the clothes were finer than at the last birthday, the silver
-and gold brocades of dazzling splendour; the jewels, borrowed, hired,
-or owned, flashed prismatic colours across the softer candlelight.
-The newspapers expatiated on the entertainment, computed the candles
-by the thousand, the footmen by the score. Lady Kilrush was at once
-established as a woman of the highest _ton;_ her drawing-rooms were
-crowded with morning visitors, her tea-table at six o'clock served as
-a rendezvous for all that was choicest in the world of fashion. Every
-day brought a series of engagements--breakfasts at Strawberry Hill,
-where Horace Walpole exercised his most delightful talents for the
-amusement of so charming a guest; great dinners where the Ministers and
-the Opposition drank their three bottles together in amity, the Duke
-of Newcastle and Mr. Pelham, Pitt and Fox, Granville and Pulteney,--a
-galaxy of ribbons and stars; parties at Syon House and at Osterley;
-excursions to Hampton Court and Windsor, braving the wintry roads in a
-coach and six, and with half a dozen out-riders as a guard against the
-hazards of the journey. Lady Kilrush had become one of the most popular
-women in London, and the only evil thing that was said of her was that
-she did not return visits as quickly as people expected.
-
-Was she happy in the midst of it all, she who believed only in this
-brief life and the pleasure or the pain that it holds? Yes. She was too
-young, too beautiful and complete a creature not to be intoxicated by
-the brilliancy of her new existence, and the sense of unbounded power
-that wealth gave her. The novelty of the life was in itself enough for
-happiness. The London in which she moved to-day was as new to her as
-Rome had been, and more splendid, if less romantic. Operas, concerts,
-plays, auctions, picture-galleries, masquerades, ridottos, provided a
-series of pleasures that surpassed her dreams. Handel and the Italian
-singers offered inexhaustible delight. She might tire of all the
-rest--of Court balls and modish drums, of bidding for china monsters,
-buying toys of Mrs. Chenevix and trinkets of jeweller Deard in Pall
-Mall--but of music she could never tire, and the more she heard of
-Handel's oratorios the better she loved them.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-
-"SO RUN THAT YE MAY OBTAIN."
-
-
-Mrs. Stobart, yawning by the neatly swept hearth in her cottage
-parlour, while her husband sat silent over a book, read an account of
-Antonia's party in a semi-religious newspaper, prefaced with a pious
-denunciation of the worldling's extravagant luxury. She insisted on
-reading the description to her husband, and as she was a slow reader,
-bored him to extinction.
-
-"How fine it must have been!" she sighed at the end. "Oh, how I should
-love to have been there! What a pity you put her off with an excuse
-when she asked us to visit her!"
-
-"My dear Lucy, what an idle thought! Your clothes for such a party
-would cost a hundred pounds; and how would you like to think that you
-carried on your person the money that would feed a score of orphan
-children for the winter?"
-
-"Then is everybody wicked who gives such assemblies or goes to them?
-Sure if they all spent their superfluous wealth upon charity, instead
-of fine clothes and musicians and wax candles, there need be nobody
-starving or homeless in England."
-
-"'Tis a problem the world has not solved yet, Lucy; but for my own part
-I think the man who squanders his fortune upon pomp and luxury can have
-no more appreciation of gospel truth than the heathen has who never
-heard of a Redeemer."
-
-"Then you think Lady Kilrush is no better than a heathen?"
-
-"Alas! poor wretch, did she not confess herself so in your hearing--an
-infidel, blind to the light of revelation, deaf to the message of
-pardon? We can but pity her, Lucy, and pray that God's hour may come
-for her as it came for you and me. She has a fine nature, and I cannot
-think she will be left in outer darkness."
-
-"Unless she is one of those that were predestined to eternal perdition
-before they were born," said Lucy.
-
-"You know I have never countenanced that gospel of despair, and I
-deplore that so fine a preacher as Mr. Whitefield should have taken up
-such gloomy views."
-
-"She might have sent us a card for her ball," murmured Lucy. "'Twould
-have been civil, even though she guessed you would not take me."
-
-The discontented sigh which followed the complaining speech showed
-George Stobart that his wife was still among the unregenerate.
-His religion was of a stern temper, and he could not suffer this
-unchristian peevishness to pass unreproved.
-
-"Do you think, madam, that a journeyman printer's daughter would be in
-her place among dukes and duchesses at a fashionable assembly? 'Twas
-not for such a life I chose you."
-
-Lucy, who always trembled at her husband's frown, though she never
-refrained from provoking his anger, replied with her accustomed
-argument of tears. George saw the slim shoulders shaken by suppressed
-sobs, flung his book aside in a rage, and began to pace the cottage
-parlour, whose narrow bounds he was not yet accustomed to. In mild
-weather the half-glass door stood ever open, and he could pass to the
-grass plot outside when his impatient mood was on; but with a November
-rain beating against the casement there was no escape, and he felt like
-a caged bear.
-
-Finding her stifled sobs unregarded, Lucy began again, in the same
-complaining voice--
-
-"I thought a gentleman's wife was fit company even for dukes and
-duchesses; and if it comes to fathers, I have less need to be ashamed
-of mine, though he starved and beat me, than Lady Kilrush has of hers,
-who was in jail for running away with a farmer's cash-box. 'Twas all in
-the evening paper when his lordship married her."
-
-"Good God!" cried George, "are women by nature mean and petty? The
-first desire of a gentleman's wife, madam, should be to think and act
-like a lady, and to-day you do neither. I wish we had never seen Lady
-Kilrush, since an hour of her company has made you dissatisfied with
-a life for which I thought Heaven designed you. To sigh for balls and
-drums--you, who never danced a step in your life! And do you think when
-I left the army--the calling I loved--I meant to hang upon the skirts
-of fashion, stand in doorways, or elbow and shove in supper-rooms? I
-renounced all such idle pleasures when I left His Majesty's service and
-took up arms for Christ, whose soldier and servant I am."
-
-Lucy, now entirely repentant, looked up at him with streaming eyes,
-shivering at his indignation, but admiring him.
-
-"How handsome you are when you are angry!" she cried. "You are so
-good and noble, and I am so vile a sinner. 'Tis Satan tempting
-me. He makes me forget what a worm I am. He makes me proud and
-ungrateful--ungrateful to you, my dear, my honoured husband; ungrateful
-to God who gave me your love."
-
-She slipped from her chair to the ground, and knelt there, weeping
-passionately, her pretty auburn hair falling over her face and neck,
-whose delicate whiteness showed like ivory between loose locks of
-burnished gold.
-
-Her husband had recovered his self-command, lifted her tenderly from
-the ground, and held her against his breast. How pretty she was, how
-artless and childlike, and how brutal it was in him to be so angry at
-her poor little frivolous yearnings for fine clothes and fine company,
-music and candlelight! He kissed her on the forehead and lips in a
-gentle silence, led her to her chair, and then resumed his book.
-
-"'Tis I am the sinner, Lucy," he said after a pause, during which her
-needle travelled slowly along the seam of the shirt she was making for
-him. "I did very ill to be so hot and impatient about a trifle. But
-these long empty days vex me. I hope I may be of the proper stuff for a
-Christian; but sure I should never have done for a hermit. I want to be
-up and doing."
-
-"Indeed, George, you work too hard as it is. A long day at home should
-be a rest for you."
-
-"I am not one of those who relish rest. Come, I will read to you, if
-you choose."
-
-"I love to hear you read."
-
-"Yes, and sit and dream of your baby, or your new tea-things, and
-scarce know whether I have been reading Milton or the Bible when I have
-done," he said gently, as he might have spoken to a child.
-
-"You have such a beautiful voice. I love your voice better than the
-things you read. But let it be 'Pilgrim's Progress,' and I will listen
-to every word. I always think Christian is you. I can see you when I
-follow him with my thoughts."
-
-Her husband smiled at the gentle flattery, and brought Bunyan's
-delightful story from the modest bookcase which held but some two score
-of classics and pious works--William Law, Dr. Watts, the writers loved
-and chosen by the followers of the New Light.
-
-"Dost remember where we left your Christian?" he asked.
-
-"'Twas when he was alone in the Valley of Humiliation, just before
-Apollyon met him," she answered quickly, though had the book been
-"Paradise Lost," she would have hardly known whether 'twas before
-or after the fall when they left Adam and Eve. He read aloud till
-teatime, and read to himself after tea till the hour of evening prayer
-and Scripture exposition, to which the little nursemaid and a stout
-maid-of-all-work were summoned; and so the long day closed at an hour
-when West End London, from Wimpole Street to Whitehall, was alive with
-chairs and linkmen, French horns and dancing feet. In this cottage on
-the common there was a silence that made the chirp of the crickets a
-burden.
-
- * * * * *
-
-George Stobart was not a quietist. Religion unsupported by philanthropy
-would not have sufficed him for happiness. He could not spend half
-his life upon his knees in a rapture of self-humiliation--could not
-devote hours to searching his own heart. Once and for all he had been
-convinced of sin, assured that the road he had been travelling was a
-road that led to the gates of hell, and that in travelling it he had
-carried many weaker sinners along with him, and so had been a murderer
-of souls. Once and for all he had been assured of the free grace of
-God, and believed himself appointed to do good work--a brand snatched
-from the burning, whose duty it was to snatch other brands, to compel
-the lost sheep to come into the fold.
-
-He loved to be up and doing. He had the soldier's temper, and must be
-fighting some one or something; nor could he keep in his chamber and
-wrestle with impalpable devils. He could not fight, like Luther, with
-the evil that was within him till he materialized the inward tempter,
-saw Satan standing before him, and flung his inkpot at a visible foe.
-Abstract piety could not satisfy George Stobart. He caught himself
-yawning over Law's "Serious Call," and "The Imitation of Christ."
-
-In the beginning of the Great Revival, when the Oxford Methodists
-and the Moravian Christians had been as one brotherhood in the
-meeting-house by Fetter Lane, an enthusiast, by name Molther, had put
-forward a new way of salvation, which was to be "still." Those who
-desired to find faith were to give up the public means of grace. They
-were not even to pray or to read the Scriptures, nor to attempt to do
-any good works.
-
-John Wesley's fine common sense had repudiated this doctrine,
-whereupon there had been confusion and falling away among the Fetter
-Lane society; and the great leader had withdrawn to a chapel and
-dwelling-house of his own creation, in a disused foundry for cannon,
-near Finsbury Square. It was here that George Stobart had found faith,
-and it was in Wesley's strong and active crusade against sin and
-suffering that he found satisfaction.
-
-After somewhat reluctantly entering upon his career as an itinerant
-preacher, when the magnitude of the work, the multitudes eager to
-hear the Word of God, revealed themselves to him, John Wesley, again
-reluctantly, enlisted the help of lay preachers. The Church had shut
-her doors upon him--that Anglican Church of which he had ever been a
-true and staunch apostle--and he had to do without the Church. He saw
-before him the people of England awakened from the torpor of a century
-of automatic religion, and saw that he needed more labourers in this
-vast vineyard than the Church could give him.
-
-For the last two years George Stobart had been one of Wesley's
-favourite helpers, and had accompanied his chief in several of those
-itinerant journeys which made half England Wesleyan. He preached at
-Bristol, rode with Wesley, preaching at every stage of the journey,
-from Bristol to Falmouth, where he stood shoulder to shoulder with him
-in one of the worst riots the Christian hero ever faced. He was with
-him through the roughest encounters in Lancashire, stood beside him on
-the Market Cross at Bolton, when the great wild mob surged round them
-and stones flew thick and fast, and where, as if by a miracle, while
-many of the rabble were hurt, the preacher remained untouched.
-
-In all this, in the effect of his own preaching, in the hazards and
-adventures of those long rides across the face of a country where most
-things were new, Stobart found unalloyed delight. He loved his mission
-in the streets and alleys of Lambeth, his visits to the London jails,
-for here he had to wrestle with the devils of ignorance and blasphemy,
-to preach cleanliness to men and women who had been born and reared in
-filth, to meet the wants of a multitude with a handful of silver, to
-give counsel, sympathy, compassion, where he could not give bread. This
-was work that pleased him. Here he felt himself the soldier and servant
-of Christ.
-
-It was in the religion of the chamber that Stobart fell short of the
-mark. He loved the Word of God when God spoke by the lips of His Son;
-but he had not that reverent affection for the Old Testament which
-Wesley had urged upon him as essential to true religion. For the
-grandeur, the poetry of Holy Writ he had the highest appreciation; but
-there were many pages of the sacred volume in which he looked in vain
-for the light of inspiration. If he could have read his Bible in the
-same inquiring spirit that Samuel Coleridge brought to it, he might
-have been better satisfied with the book and with himself; but Wesley
-had forbidden any such liberal interpretation of the Scriptures. Every
-line, every word, every letter was to be accepted as the law of God.
-
-He was dissatisfied with himself for his coldness, for wandering
-thoughts, for the dying out of that sacred fire which John Wesley's
-preaching had kindled in his soul at the time of his conversion. But
-he told himself that such a fire can burn but once in a lifetime. 'Tis
-like the burning bush in which Moses beheld his God. That stupendous
-vision comes once, and once only. It has done its purifying work, and
-burnt out sin. But between the starting-point of the converted penitent
-and the Christian's crown, how long and difficult the race! George
-Stobart had felt his footsteps flagging on the stony road. He had not
-lost courage. The dogged determination to win that eternal crown was
-still with him; but he had lost something of his first enthusiasm, that
-romantic temper in which it had pleased him to prove his sincerity by
-the sacrifice of fortune and station, and by a marriage which would
-have seemed impossible to him in his unregenerate days.
-
- * * * * *
-
-A week after Lady Kilrush had given her great entertainment there came
-a letter from her, addressed to Mrs. Stobart, and the very seal upon
-it was as precious in the sight of the printer's daughter as if it had
-been a jewel.
-
-"Look, George, what a beautiful seal--a naked boy with a helmet, and
-two snakes twisted round his cane. Who can have written to me? Why, the
-name is signed outside, 'Townshend.' Sure I know nobody of that name."
-
-"'Tis but the frank, child. The letter is from Lady Kilrush."
-
-"How can you tell that?"
-
-"I could swear to her hand among a hundred. Not the penmanship of one
-woman in a thousand shows such strength of will."
-
-"Can one's writing show one's mind? I should never have thought it.
-I wonder if 'tis a card for her next assembly. Oh, George, don't be
-angry! I should like, once in my life, only once, to go to a party."
-
-Her husband sighed as he patted her shoulder, with the gentle touch
-that only strong men have, and which always soothed her.
-
-"Read your letter," he said; "'tis no card."
-
-She took her scissors from her work-basket and carefully cut round the
-seal--loth to spoil anything so beautiful, though her heart beat fast
-with expectation. George read the letter aloud over her shoulder.
-
- * * * * *
-
- "St. James's Square, November 15th.
-
- "DEAR MADAM,
-
- "I hope that neither you nor Mr. Stobart have forgot your
- polite promise to visit me, and that you will do me the
- favour of dining with me at four o'clock next Monday,
- when Lady Margaret Laroche, the Duchess of Portland, Mr.
- Townshend, and some other of my most agreeable acquaintance,
- will be good enough to give me their company in the evening.
- As you live so far off, I shall venture to send my coach
- to fetch you before dark, and I shall be best pleased if
- you will spend the night in St. James's Square, and return
- home at your leisure and convenience on Tuesday. Knowing
- Mr. Stobart's serious mind, I did not presume to send you
- a card for my ball last week, as I should be sorry for any
- invitation of mine to seem an empty compliment.
-
- "Pray persuade your husband, and my cousin by marriage, to
- gratify me by bidding you write 'Yes,' and believe me, with
- much respect,
-
- "Your sincere friend and servant,
-
- "ANTONIA KILRUSH."
-
-"Must I say no, George?" Lucy asked, with a quivering lip, ready to
-burst into tears.
-
-"Nay, child, I made you unhappy t'other day, and was miserable for two
-days after at the thought I had been a brute. If it would please you to
-visit her ladyship----"
-
-"Please me! I should feel as if I was flying over the moon."
-
-"But you could not fly over the moon in a grogram gown. You need not
-vie with her Grace of Portland, but I doubt you have no clothes fit for
-company, and my purse is empty."
-
-"But I have my wedding gown," she cried, clapping her hands--"the gown
-I bought at Clapham with the pocket-money your mother gave me, a crown
-piece at a time, and that I saved till it was over three guineas. And I
-bought a pearl grey silk, and your mother's woman helped me make it,
-and then when I told you what I had done you were vexed at my vanity,
-and would not let me wear it; so I was married in my old stuff gown,
-and the pearl grey silk has never been worn. The Duchess will not have
-a newer gown than mine, if you'll let me go."
-
-"'When I was a child I thought as a child,'" quoted George. "Well,
-dearest, thou shalt have thy childish pleasure. To have seen how idle
-and empty a thing fine company is may make thee love our serious life
-better."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII.
-
-
-IN ST. JAMES'S SQUARE.
-
-
-On the afternoon when she was expecting Mr. and Mrs. Stobart, Lady
-Kilrush was surprised by a visit from an old friend whom she had almost
-forgotten. Her chair had just brought her from a round of visits, and
-she had not yet removed her hat and cloak, which Sophy was waiting to
-take from her, being ever jealous of her lady's French maid, when a
-visitor was announced--
-
-"Mrs. Granger."
-
-The room was the fourth and smallest of a suite of reception-rooms,
-which occupied the whole of the first floor, leaving space only for the
-wide central staircase, surrounded by a gallery that was a favourite
-resort of visitors at a crowded assembly, as a vantage-ground from
-which they could watch arrivals, look out for their particular friends,
-and criticize "clothes."
-
-The room was half in dusk, and Antonia wondered who the little young
-lady in the cherry-coloured hood and satin petticoat of the same bright
-hue could be. It was not a colour favoured by people of taste at that
-time, and the little plump person in the high hoop had not the air of
-the Portland set, that _recherche_ group of women among whom Antonia
-had been received on a friendly footing, on the strength of her own
-charms and Lady Peggy's popularity. Lady Peggy was of all the sets,
-best and worst, and exercised a commanding influence over all.
-
-"My dear creature, sure you won't pretend you've forgot me?" cried the
-little woman, with broad, outspoken speech, after her first mincing
-salutation had been acknowledged by a stately curtsey and a "Your
-humble servant, madam."
-
-"Why, 'tis Patty!" exclaimed Antonia, holding out both her hands.
-
-"Yes, 'tis Patty--Mrs. Granger. Sure you remember old General Granger
-that you used to jeer at. I have been married to him over a year, and
-we have handsome lodgings in Leicester Square, and I keep my chair; and
-if he outlives his two elder brothers and three nephews, I shall be a
-peeress."
-
-"My dear Patty, I am gladder than I can say to see your kind little
-face again. Sit down, child. You must stop and dine with me. I have
-some cousins coming to dinner, and some company afterwards."
-
-"Well, I'm glad you're glad. I thought you was too proud to remember
-me, since you didn't send me a card for your ball t'other night, though
-all London was there."
-
-"I did not know what had become of you. I have asked ever so many
-people who knew the theatres, and no one could say where Miss Lester
-had gone since her name vanished from the playbills."
-
-"The General is a strait-laced old fool!" said Patty. "He doesn't like
-people to know I was an actress, though I flatter myself that nobody
-can hear me speak or see me curtsey without discovering it. There's an
-air of high comedy that nobody can mistake. Sure 'tis in the hope of
-catching it that fine ladies take up Kitty Clive."
-
-"You mustn't call your husband a fool, Patty, especially if he's kind
-to you."
-
-"Oh, he's kind enough, but he's very troublesome with his pussy-cats,
-and Minettes, and nonsense; though, to be sure, Minette is a prettier
-name than Martha, and genteeler than Patty. And he's very close with
-his money. I might have my coach as well as my chair if he wasn't a
-miser. I sometimes think I was a simpleton to leave the stage for a
-husband of seventy. Sure I might have been another Mrs. Cibber."
-
-"You had been acting seven years, Patty. You gave your genius a fair
-chance."
-
-"Pshaw, there's some that don't begin to hit the taste of the town till
-they've been at it three times seven. Look at old Colley, for instance.
-The managers kept him down half a lifetime. When I look at this house
-and think of my two parlours I feel I was a fool to marry the General.
-But there never was such a romance as your marriage."
-
-"My marriage was a tragedy, Patty!"
-
-"Ah, but you've got the comedy now. This fine house, and your hall
-porter--I never laid eyes on such a pompous creature--and your powdered
-footmen. You're a lucky devil, Tonia."
-
-Antonia did not reprove her, being somewhat troubled in mind at the
-doubt of her own wisdom in bringing this free-and-easy young person in
-company with George Stobart and his wife. In her gladness at meeting
-the friend of her girlhood she had forgotten how strange such a mixture
-would be.
-
-"If 'tis not convenient to dine with me to-day, Patty, I shall be just
-as pleased to see you to-morrow, or the first day that would suit you."
-
-"Your ladyship--ladyship! oh, lord, ain't it droll?--your ladyship is
-vastly obleeging; but I came to stay if you'd have me. Granger is gone
-to Hounslow to dine with his old regiment, and I'm my own woman till
-ten o'clock. 'Twould be civil of you if you'd bid one of your footmen
-tell my chairmen to fetch me at a quarter to ten, and then we can sit
-by the fire and talk over old times. This is Mrs. Potter's girl, I
-doubt, she that waited upon us once when I took a dish of tea with you.
-How d'ye do, miss?"--holding out condescending finger-tips to Sophy,
-who had stood gazing at her since her entrance.
-
-"Yes, this is Miss Potter, my friend and companion. You can take my hat
-and Mrs. Granger's hood, Sophy, and come back when Mr. and Mrs. Stobart
-are here."
-
-When Sophy was gone, Lady Kilrush took Patty's plump cheeks between two
-caressing hands and contemplated her with a smile.
-
-"You are as pretty as ever, child," she said, with an elder-sister air,
-as if she, instead of Patty, had been the senior by near a decade; "and
-I am glad to think you have left the playhouse and all its perils for a
-comfortable home with an honest man who loves you. Nay, I think you are
-prettier than you were in Covent Garden. The quiet life has freshened
-your looks. But you shouldn't wear cherry colour."
-
-"Because of my red hair?"
-
-"Because it is a cit's wife's colour, or a vain old woman's that wants
-to look young. 'Tis not the mode, Patty."
-
-"My petticoat cost a pound a yard," said Patty, ruefully. "I thought
-the General would kill me when he saw the bill."
-
-"Oh, 'tis pretty enough, and suits you well enough, _cherie_. I was
-half in jest. I have a kind friend who lectures me upon all such
-trifles, and so I thought I'd lecture you. And, my dearest Patty, as
-the cousin that's to dine with us is a very serious person, I should
-take it kindly of you not to talk of the playhouse, nor to abuse your
-husband."
-
-"I hope I know how to behave in company," answered Patty, slightly
-huffed; and on Mr. and Mrs. Stobart being announced the next moment,
-she assumed a mincing stateliness which lasted the whole evening.
-
-Stobart thought her an appalling personage, in spite of her reticence.
-Her cherry satin bodice was cut very low, and her ample bosom was
-spread with pearls and crosses like a jeweller's show-case. She made
-up for a paucity of diamonds by the size of her topazes and the
-profusion of her amethysts, and her Bristol paste buckles would have
-been big enough for the tallest of the Prussian king's grenadiers. Lucy
-Stobart, in her pearl-grey silk, made with a quaker-like simplicity,
-her pure complexion, golden-brown curls and slender shape, seemed all
-the lovelier by the contrast of Mrs. Granger's florid charms; but poor
-Patty behaved herself with an admirable reserve, and uttered no word
-that could offend.
-
-Lucy looked at everything in a wondering rapture--the pictures, the
-marble busts on ebony and ormolu pedestals, the miniatures and jewels
-and toys scattered on tables, the glass cabinets displaying the most
-exquisite porcelain, the China monsters standing about the carpet, the
-confusion of beautiful objects which met her gaze on every side almost
-bewildered her. She looked about her like a child at a fair.
-
-"And does your ladyship really live in this house?" she asked
-innocently. "'Tis not like a house to live in."
-
-"Do you think it should he put under a glass case, or buried under
-burning ashes like Herculaneum, so that it may be found perfect and
-undisturbed two thousand years after we are all dead?" said Stobart,
-smiling at her.
-
-He was pleased with her fresh young prettiness, which was not disgraced
-even by Antonia's imperial charms.
-
-"You see, madam, how foolish I have been to indulge my wife with a
-sight of splendours which lie so far away from our lives," he said to
-Antonia, who accompanied them through the suite of drawing-rooms where
-clusters of candles had just been lighted in sconces on the walls, to
-show them the famous Gobelins tapestries that had once belonged to
-Madame de Montespan.
-
-"I doubt, sir, Mrs. Stobart is too happy in her rural life ever to
-sigh for a large London house and its obligation to live in company,"
-answered Antonia.
-
-"I love our cottage dearly when my husband is at home, madam; but I
-have to spend weeks and months with no companion but my baby son, who
-can say but four words yet, while Mr. Stobart is wandering about the
-country with Mr. Wesley, and having sticks and stones aimed at him
-sometimes in the midst of his sermons. If your ladyship would persuade
-him to leave off field preaching I should be a happy woman."
-
-"Nay, madam, I cannot come between a man and his conscience, however
-much our opinions may differ; and if Mr. Stobart thinks his sermons do
-good----"
-
-"'Tis a question of living in light or darkness, madam. Those who carry
-the lamp John Wesley lighted know too well what need there is of their
-labours."
-
-"You go among great sinners?"
-
-"We go among the untaught savages of a civilized country, madam. If
-there is need of God's word anywhere upon this earth, it is needed
-where we go. Thousands of awakened souls answer for the usefulness of
-our labours."
-
-"And you are content to pass your life in such work? You have not taken
-it up for a year or so, to abandon it when the fever of enthusiasm
-cools?"
-
-"I have no such fever, madam. And to what should I go back if I took
-my hand from the plough? I have renounced the profession I loved, and
-have forfeited my mother's affection. She was my only near relation.
-My wife and I stand alone in the world; we have no friend but God, no
-profession but to serve Him."
-
-"I wonder you do not go into the Church."
-
-"The Church that has turned a cold shoulder upon Wesley and Whitefield
-is no church for me. I can do more good as a free man."
-
-The door was flung open as the clock struck four, and Lady Margaret
-Laroche came fluttering in, almost before the butler could announce her.
-
-"My matchless one, will you give me some dinner?" she demanded gaily.
-"I have been shopping in the city, hunting for feathers for my screen,
-and I know your hour. But I forgot you had visitors. Pray make us
-acquainted."
-
-"My cousin, Mr. Stobart, Mrs. Stobart, Mrs. Granger." Lady Peggy sank
-to the floor in a curtsey, smiled benignantly at Lucy, and put up her
-glass to stare disapprovingly at Patty's cherry-coloured bodice.
-
-Dinner was announced, and they went downstairs to that spacious
-dining-room, which had been so gloomy an apartment when Lord Kilrush
-dined there in his later years, generally alone. The room had seen
-wilder feasts than any that Lady Kilrush was likely to give there,
-when her late husband was in his pride of youth and folly, the boldest
-rake-hell in London.
-
-The conversation at dinner was confined to Lady Margaret, Mr. Stobart,
-and Antonia; for Lucy had no more idea of talking than if she had been
-in church, and Mrs. Granger only opened her mouth when obliged by the
-business of the table, where two courses of eight dishes succeeded each
-other in the ponderous magnificence of silver and the substantiality
-of mock-turtle soup, turkey and chine, chicken pie, boiled rabbits,
-cod and oyster sauce, veal and ham, larded pheasants, with jellies and
-puddings, a bill of fare which, in its piling of Pelion upon Ossa,
-would be more likely to excite disgust than appetite in the modern
-_gourmet_. But in spite of such travelled wits as Bolingbroke, Walpole,
-Chesterfield, and Carteret, the antique Anglo-Saxon _menu_ still
-obtained when George II. was king.
-
-"You are the first Methodist I have ever dined with," said Lady Peggy,
-keenly interested in a new specimen of the varieties of mankind, "so I
-hope you will tell me all about this religious revival which has made
-such a stir among the lower classes, and sent Lady Huntingdon out of
-her wits."
-
-"On my honour, madam, if but half the women of fashion in London were
-as sane as that noble lady, society would be in a much better way than
-it is."
-
-"Oh, I grant you we have mad women enough. Nearly all the clever ones
-lean that way. But I doubt your religious mania is the worst; and a
-woman must be far gone who fills her house with a mixed rabble of
-crazy nobility and converted bricklayers. I am told Lady Huntingdon
-recognizes no distinctions of class among her followers."
-
-"Nay, there you are wrong, Lady Peggy," cried Antonia, "for Mr.
-Whitefield preaches to the quality in her ladyship's drawing-room, but
-goes down to her kitchen to convert the rabble."
-
-"Lady Huntingdon models her life upon the precepts of her Redeemer,
-madam," said Stobart, ignoring this interruption. "I hope you do not
-consider that an evidence of lunacy."
-
-"There is a way of doing things, Mr. Stobart. God forbid I should blame
-anybody for being kind and condescending to the poor."
-
-"Christians never condescend, madam. They have too acute a sense of
-their own lowness to consider any of their fellow-creatures beneath
-them. They are no more capable of condescending towards each other than
-the worms have that crawl in the same furrow."
-
-"Ah, I see these Oxford Methodists have got you in their net. Well,
-sir, I admire an enthusiast, even if he is mistaken. Everybody in
-London is so much of a pattern that there are seasons when the wretch
-who fired the Ephesian dome would be a welcome figure in company--since
-any enthusiasm, right or wrong, is better than perpetual flatness."
-
-"Lady Margaret has so active a mind that she tires of things sooner
-than most of us," said Antonia, smiling at the lively lady, whose
-hazel eyes twinkled almost as brightly as the few choice diamonds that
-sparkled in the folds of her Brussels neckerchief.
-
-"I confess to being sick of feather-work and shell-work, and the women
-who can think of nothing else. And even the musical fanatics weary me
-with their everlasting babble about Handel and the Italian singers.
-There is not a spark of mind among the whole army of _conoscenti_.
-With a month's labour I'd teach the inhabitants of a parrot-house to
-jabber the same flummery."
-
-And then Lady Peggy turned to Mr. Stobart and made him talk about his
-Methodists, as she called them, and listened with intelligent interest,
-and gave him no offence by her replies.
-
-"Our cousin is a very pretty fellow, and the wife has not an ill
-figure," she said to Antonia after dinner, in a corner of the inner
-drawing-room, while Mrs. Stobart and Mrs. Granger sat side by side in
-the great saloon, looking at a portfolio of Italian prints; "but how,
-in the name of all that's odious, did you come by that cherry-coloured
-person?"
-
-"She is my old friend, an actress at Drury Lane, but now retired from
-the stage and prosperously married."
-
-"The creature has a pretty little face, but her clothes are execrable,
-and then the audacity of her shoulders! Such nakedness can only be
-suffered in a woman of the highest mode. Indecency with an ill-cut gown
-is unpardonable. Don't let her cross your threshold again, child."
-
-"Dear Lady Peggy, you are too good a friend for me to disoblige you;
-but I will never be uncivil to one who was kind when I was poor."
-
-"Well, well, you are a fine pig-headed creature, but if you must have
-such a friend, pray let your dressmaker clothe her. 'Twill cost you
-less than you will lose of credit by her appearance. Remember 'tis by
-your women friends you will be judged. 'Tis of little consequence what
-notorious gamblers and rakes pass in and out of your great assemblies,
-so long as they are men of fashion; but your women must be of the
-highest quality for birth, clothes, and breeding."
-
-'Twas six o'clock, and a bevy of footmen were busied in setting out
-a tea and coffee table with Indian porcelain and silver urn, and the
-rooms began to be picturesquely sprinkled with elegant figures, like a
-canvas of Watteau's. It was a prettier scene than one of her ladyship's
-great assemblies, for the fine furniture, the priceless china and other
-ornaments were undisturbed, and there was enough space and atmosphere
-for people to admire the rooms and each other.
-
-The Duchess of Portland and her chosen friend Mrs. Delany came sailing
-in, sparkling with gaiety, and tenderly embracing their matchless
-Orinda. Everybody of mark in those days had a nickname, and Mrs.
-Delany, who had a genius for finding nonsense names, had hit upon this
-one for Lady Kilrush; not because she was a poetess like the original
-Orinda, but because the epithet "matchless" seemed appropriate to so
-perfect a beauty and twenty thousand a year.
-
-George Stobart stood in the curtained embrasure of a window,
-contemplating this elegant circle amidst which Antonia moved like a
-goddess, the loveliest where all had some claim to beauty, peerless
-among the _elite_ of womankind. Her grace, her ease, her dignity would
-have become a throne, but every charm was natural, and a part of
-herself; not a modish demeanour acquired by an imitative faculty--the
-surface gloss of the low-born woman apt to mimic her betters. He could
-not withhold his admiration from charms that all the world admired,
-but the extravagance of the fashionable toilette disgusted him, and
-he looked with angry scorn at brocades of dazzling hues interwoven
-with gold and silver; court gowns of such elaborate decoration that a
-Spitalfields weaver might have worked half a lifetime upon a fabric
-where trees and flowers, garlands and classic temples, lakes and
-mountains were depicted in their natural colours on a ground of gold.
-He had been living among such people a few years ago, and had never
-questioned their right so to squander money; or, casually reckoning the
-cost of a woman's gala dress, or the wax candles burnt at a ball, he
-had approved such expenditure as a virtue in the rich, since it must
-needs be good for trade. To-night as he stood aloof, watching those
-radiant figures, his imagination conjured up the vision of an alley in
-which he had spent his morning hours, going from house to house, with
-a famished crowd hanging on his footsteps, a scene of sordid misery he
-could not remember without a shudder. Oh, those hungry faces, those
-gaunt and spectral forms, skeletons upon which the filthy rags hung
-loose; those faces of women that had once been fair, before vice,
-want, and the small-pox disfigured them; those villainous faces of men
-who had spent half their lives in jail, of women who had spent all
-their womanhood in infamy, and, mixed with these, the faces of little
-children still unmarked by the brand of sin, children whom he longed
-to gather up in his arms and carry out of that hell upon earth, had
-there been any refuge for such! His heart sickened as he looked at the
-splendour of clothes and jewels, pictures, statues, curios, and thought
-how many of God's creatures might be plucked from the furnace and set
-on the highway to heaven for the cost of all that finery.
-
-He was not altogether a stranger in that scene, for he saw several old
-acquaintances among the company, but he felt himself out of touch with
-them, and tried to escape all greetings and inquiries. And later, when
-the tables had been opened, and half the assembly were seated at whist
-or commerce, while the other half pretended to listen to a _pot-pourri_
-from Handel's "Semele," arranged for fiddles and harpsichord, which was
-being performed in the saloon, he went to the inmost room where Lucy
-was sitting solitary beside the deserted tea-table.
-
-"Come, child," he said curtly, "we have had enough of this. 'Tis a
-pleasure that leaves an ill taste in the mouth."
-
-His wife rose with alacrity. She had crept away from the music-room,
-dazzled by the splendour of the scene, and too shy to remain among
-such magnificent people, who looked at her with a bland wonder through
-jewelled eye-glasses.
-
-"I think there is to be a supper," she said hesitatingly.
-
-"Do you wish to stay for it?"
-
-"Nay, 'tis as you please."
-
-"I have no pleasure but to escape from this herd."
-
-Lucy saw that something had vexed him, and went hungry to bed, having
-been too much embarrassed by the unaccustomed attentions of splendid
-beings in livery to eat a good dinner.
-
- * * * * *
-
-There was nobody in the dining-room when Mr. and Mrs. Stobart went
-to breakfast at nine o'clock next morning. George, who had slept
-little, had been steeping himself in a grey fog in St. James's Park
-since eight; but Lucy had found it more difficult to dress herself,
-encumbered by the officious assistance of one of Antonia's women, than
-unaided in her own little bedchamber at Sheen.
-
-"Her ladyship takes her chocolate in her dressing-room," the butler
-informed Mr. Stobart, "and desires that you and your lady will
-breakfast at your own hour," whereupon George and his wife seated
-themselves in the magnificent solitude of the dining-room, and ate
-moderately of a meal almost as abundant as the previous day's dinner,
-for what was less of substance upon the table was balanced by the cold
-joints, pies, and poultry of the "regalia," or sideboard display.
-
-Lucy returned to her room directly after breakfast to pack her trunk,
-or rather to look on ruefully while her ladyship's woman packed it.
-Happily, all her garments were neat and in good condition, although of
-a quaker-like plainness.
-
-George sat in the library, waiting till his wife should be ready for
-departure, and opened one book after another in a strange inability to
-fix his attention upon anything. How well he remembered that room, and
-his last interview with his cousin! This was the table on which Kilrush
-had struck his clenched fist, when he swore that not to secure a life
-of bliss would he marry beneath his rank. The mystery of his passionate
-words, his violent gesture, was clear enough now. To his pride of
-birth, to a foolish reverence for trivial things, he had sacrificed
-his earthly happiness. To the man who esteemed all things small in
-comparison with life eternal it seemed a paltry renunciation; yet there
-had been a kind of grandeur in it, a Roman stoicism that could suffer
-for an idea. And now that George Stobart knew the woman his cousin had
-loved, her charm, her beauty, he could better understand the pangs of
-unsatisfied love, the conflict between passion and pride.
-
-There were hot-house flowers in a Nankin bowl on the table, and a fire
-of coal and logs burnt merrily in the wide basket grate. The room had a
-far more cheerful aspect on this November morning than on that sultry
-summer day, four years ago.
-
-On a side table by the fireplace Stobart noticed a pile of books richly
-bound in crimson morocco--the newest edition of Voltaire.
-
-"She reads and loves that arch mocker still, cherishes a writer who
-would laugh away her hope of heaven, her belief in the Physician of
-souls. Beset with temptation, the cynosure of profligates, she rejects
-the only rock that stands firm and high, a sure refuge when the waves
-of passion sweep over the drowning soul."
-
-He remembered the world he lived in five years ago, a world that seemed
-as far away as if those years had been centuries. He knew that of the
-men who surrounded Lady Kilrush with the stately adulation courtiers
-offer to queens there was scarce one who was not at heart a seducer,
-who would not profit by the first hint of human weakness in their
-goddess. And she was alone, motherless, sisterless, without a friend of
-her own blood, alone among envious women and unprincipled men.
-
-"Of all those fine gentlemen who prate of honour, and would rather
-commit murder than submit to a trumpery impertinence, I doubt if there
-is one who would scruple to act unfairly by a woman, or who would hold
-himself bound by the impassioned vows that cajoled her into sin," he
-thought.
-
-He looked into the crimson-bound octavos, tossing them aside one by
-one. They were not all of them deadly, but the poison was there; in
-those satirical romances, in those "Questions sur l'Encyclopedie," in
-those notes upon ancient history, on page after page he might have
-found the same deadly mockery, the same insidious war against the
-Christian faith, _l'Infame_.
-
-The door was flung open by a footman, and Antonia appeared before
-him, radiant in the freshness of her morning beauty, unspoilt by
-eighteenth-century washes and pigments. She was dressed for walking,
-in a sea-green lute-string and a pink gauze hat, her elbow-sleeves and
-the bosom of her gown ruffled with the same pale pink, and she wore
-long loose straw-coloured Saxony gloves, wrinkled here and there from
-wrist to elbow. Her only jewels were diamond solitaire ear-rings and
-a diamond brooch with a pear-shaped pearl pendant, one of the famous
-Kilrush pearls, from the treasures of the Indian merchant, the spoil of
-kings and rajahs.
-
-They shook hands, and she hoped he and Mrs. Stobart had breakfasted
-well.
-
-"I take my own breakfast in my dressing-room with a book," she said
-apologetically, "because that is the only hour I can feel sure of being
-alone. Morning visits begin so early. I am deep in 'Sir Charles.'
-Incomparable man!"
-
-"'Sir Charles?'" he faltered. "Oh, I understand. You are reading
-Richardson's new novel--a tedious, interminable book, I take it."
-
-"Tedious! I tremble for the day when I finish it. The world will seem
-empty when I bid Harriet and Clementina farewell. But I shall return
-again and again to those dear creatures. I wish myself a bad memory for
-their sakes."
-
-"Oh, madam, to be thus concerned about the flimsy creations of an old
-printer's idle brain!"
-
-"Idle! Do you call genius idle? There was never another Richardson. I
-fear there never will be. A hundred years hence women will weep for
-Clarissa, and men will model themselves upon Grandison."
-
-"It saddens me, madam, to see you as enthusiastic about a paltry
-fiction as I would have you about the truths of the gospel. And I
-see with pain that you still cherish the works of the most notorious
-blasphemer in Europe."
-
-"The man who stands up like little David against the Goliath of
-intolerance; the man who has rescued the Calas family from undeserved
-infamy, cleared the name of that unhappy victim of a persecuting
-priesthood, condemned, not because it was clear that he was a murderer,
-but because it was certain that he was a Protestant."
-
-"I own, madam, that in his fight for a dead man's honour, Monsieur
-de Voltaire acted handsomely. I am sorry that he who did so much for
-the love of his neighbour should spurn the gospel which instils that
-virtue."
-
-"Voltaire loved his neighbour without being taught, or say rather that
-he can accept all that his reason approves in the teaching of Jesus of
-Nazareth, while he rejects the traditions of the Roman Church."
-
-"Nay, did he stop _there_ I were with him heart and soul. But he does
-more. He turns the Gospel light to darkness. Would to God, madam, that
-you could find a wiser guide for your footsteps through a world where
-Satan has spread his worst snares in the fairest places."
-
-"Mr. Stobart," she said, looking at him gravely, her violet eyes
-darkened to black under the rosy shadow of her hat, "I sometimes wish I
-could believe in Christ the Saviour; but I would not if I must believe
-also in Satan. Let us argue no more upon theology; I only shock you.
-My coach is at the door, and I want to take Mrs. Stobart to an auction
-where I believe she will see the finest collection of Nankin monsters
-and willow-pattern tea-things that China has sent us since last winter.
-'Tis the first sale of the season, and all the world will be there, and
-twenty who go to stare and chatter for one who means to buy."
-
-"Your ladyship is vastly kind, but my wife and I must travel by the
-Richmond coach, which leaves the Golden Cross at noon. I have to thank
-you in her name and my own for your kind hospitality."
-
-"Oh, sir, don't thank me. Only promise that you will come to see me
-again, and often. We will not talk about serious things, lest we should
-quarrel."
-
-"Madam, if I come into this house again we must talk of serious things.
-Can I pretend to be your friend, see you living without God in the
-world--I who believe in His judgments as I believe in His mercies--and
-not try to save a beautiful soul that I see hovering above the pit of
-hell? Can I be your friend, and hold my peace?"
-
-"Nay, sir, leave my soul to your God. If He is all you believe, He will
-not let me perish."
-
-"If you are obstinate and deny Him He will cast you out. He has given
-you talents for which you have to render an account, intellect, force
-of will, wealth, and the power that goes with it. I will come to this
-house no more to see you wasting yourself upon insipid amusements,
-listening to idle flatteries, smiling upon sybarites and fops, moving
-from one to another, false alike to all, since all are your inferiors,
-and you can esteem none of them. Your coquetries, your friendships are
-alike hollow, as artificial as your swooning curtsey, taught by Serise,
-the dancing-master."
-
-"Oh, sir, are all the Oxford Methodists as rude as you?"
-
-"Forgive me, madam. I cannot stoop to that smooth lying that goes by
-the name of politeness. 'Now, now is the accepted time, now is the
-day of salvation.' My heart yearns to snatch a sinner from doom. Five
-years ago I should have been among your admirers, should have burnt the
-incense of vain adulation before you, as at the shrine of a goddess,
-should have been made happy with a smile, ineffably blessed by a civil
-word. But I have lived aloof from your _beau monde_, and I come back to
-discover what a Sodom it is. The company I once loved fills me with
-disgust and loathing. I see the flames of Tophet behind your galaxy
-of wax candles, the rags of lost sinners under your gold and silver
-brocade. I will come here no more."
-
-He moved towards the door, she following him, holding out both her
-hands.
-
-"Mr. Stobart, you make life a tragedy. I protest that some of my
-friends in gold and silver brocade are as good Christians as even your
-kindness could desire me to be. They are more fortunate than I am in
-never having been taught to question the creed that satisfied their
-fathers and grandfathers. I sometimes wish I had less of the doubting
-spirit. But pray do not let theological differences part us. You and
-your wife are a kind of relations, for you are of my dear husband's
-blood; I can never forget that. Come, sir, let us be reasonable," she
-exclaimed, seating herself at the table, and motioning him to the
-opposite chair.
-
-She was sitting where Kilrush had sat during that last interview with
-his kinsman, in the same high-backed chair, the bright colouring of her
-face and hat shining against a background of black horsehair.
-
-"What do you want me to do? Of what sins am I to repent?" she asked,
-smiling at him. "I try to help my fellow-creatures, to be honest and
-truthful and kind. What more can I do?"
-
-"Sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor."
-
-"I cannot do that. I think I have a right to be happy. Fate has flung
-riches into my lap; and I love the things that money buys--this house,
-foreign travel, ease and splendour, pictures, music, the friends that
-wealth and station have brought round me. I love to mix with the salt
-of the earth. And you want me to renounce all these things, and to live
-as Jesus of Nazareth lived--Jesus, the Son of Joseph the carpenter."
-
-"Jesus, the Son of God, who so lived His brief life on earth to be for
-all mankind an example."
-
-"And are we all to be peasants?"
-
-"Believe me, madam, there is only one perfect form of the Christian
-life, and that is the imitation of Christ."
-
-"You would make this a hateful world if you had your way, Mr. Stobart."
-
-"I would make it a Christian world if I could, Lady Kilrush."
-
-"Well, sir, let me help you with your poor. I should like to do
-that, though I do not mean to sell this house, or the jewels that my
-husband's grandfather brought from the East Indies. I can spare a good
-deal for almsgiving, and yet sparkle at St. James's. Take me to see
-your poor people at Lambeth. Bring their sorrows nearer to my heart. I
-know I am leading a foolish, idle life, made up of gratified vanities
-and futile fevers, but 'tis such a pleasant life. I had my day of
-drudgery and petty cares, the struggle to make one shilling go as far
-as five, and my heart dances for joy sometimes among the pleasures
-and splendours in which I move to-day. But be sure I have a heart to
-pity the suffering. Let me go with you to Lambeth. I will buy no china
-dragons to-day; and the money I put in my purse to waste on toys shall
-be given to your poor. Take me to them to-day. You can go back to Sheen
-by a later coach."
-
-He refused at first, protesting that the places to which he went were
-no fitting scenes for her. She would have to confront vice as well as
-poverty--revolting sights, hideous language, Lazarus with his sores,
-and a blaspheming Lazarus--things odious and things terrible.
-
-"I am not afraid," she answered. "If there are such things we ought to
-know of them. I do know that vice and sin exist. I am not an ignorant
-girl. I was not born in the purple."
-
-She was impetuous, resolute, insistent, and she overruled all his
-objections.
-
-"You will be sorry that I let you have your way," he said at last, "and
-I am foolish so to humour a fine lady's whim."
-
-"I am not a fine lady to-day. There is more than one side to my
-character."
-
-"If you mean to come with me, you had best put on a plainer gown."
-
-"I have none plainer than this. 'Tis no matter if I spoil it, for I am
-tired of the colour. Oh, here is Mrs. Stobart," she cried, as a servant
-ushered in Lucy, who entered timidly, looking for her husband.
-
-"Your ladyship's servant," she murmured with a curtsey. "Is it time for
-us to go home, George?"
-
-"Time for me to take you to the coach, Lucy. I shall spend the day
-among my people."
-
-"And I am to go home alone," his wife said ruefully.
-
-"I shall be with you by tea-time, and you will have your boy and a
-world of household cares to engage you till then."
-
-She brightened at this, and smiled at him.
-
-"I'll warrant Hannah will not have dusted the parlour," she said. "Oh,
-madam, we have such pretty mahogany furniture, and I do love to keep it
-bright. There's nothing like elbow-grease for a mahogany table."
-
-"I know that by experience, child. I have used it myself," Antonia
-answered gaily.
-
-She was pleased and excited at the idea of a plunge into the mysteries
-of outcast London. She had been poor herself, but had known only the
-shabby genteel poverty which keeps shoes to its feet and a weathertight
-roof over its head. With want and rags and filth she had never come in
-contact save in her brief glimpse of the Irish and English towns at
-Limerick; and looking back upon that experience of a brain overwrought
-with grief, it seemed to her like a fever-dream. To-day she would go
-among the abodes of misery with a mind quick to see and understand.
-Surely, surely she could do her part in the duty that the rich owe the
-poor without selling all that she had, without abrogating one iota
-of the sumptuous surroundings so dear to her romantic temper, to her
-innate love of the beautiful.
-
-She kissed Mrs. Stobart at parting, and promised to visit her at Sheen
-the first day she was free of engagements.
-
-George found her chariot at the door when he came back from despatching
-his wife in the Richmond stage.
-
-"Come, come," she said, "let us hasten to your poor wretches. I am
-dying to give them the guineas I meant for my monsters."
-
-"Faith, madam, you will find monsters enough where we are going, but
-not such as a fine lady could display on her china cupboard."
-
-Mr. Stobart stopped the carriage on the south side of Westminster
-Bridge.
-
-"If you are not averse to walking some little distance, it might be
-well to send your carriage home," he said. "I can take you back to your
-house in a hackney coach;" and on this the chariot was dismissed.
-
-"You shall not go a yard out of your way on my account," she said. "I
-am not afraid of going about alone. The great ladies I know would swoon
-if they found themselves in a London street unattended; but I am not
-like them."
-
-He gave her his arm, and they threaded their way through a labyrinth
-of streets and alleys that lay between the Thames and the waste spaces
-of Lambeth Marsh, a dreary region where the water lay in stagnant
-pools, receptacles for all unconsidered filth, exhaling putrid fever.
-Here and there above the forest of chimneys and chance medley of
-roofs and gables there rose the bulk of a pottery, for this was the
-chosen place of the potter's art; but for the rest the desolate region
-between Stangate and the New Cut was given over to poverty and crime.
-Fine old houses that had once stood in the midst of fair gardens had
-been divided into miserable tenements, and swarmed like anthills with
-half-starved humanity; alleys so narrow that the sunshine rarely
-visited them, covered and crowded the old garden ground; four-storied
-houses, built with a supreme neglect of such trifles as light and air,
-overshadowed the low hovels that had once been rustic cottages smiling
-across modest flower-gardens.
-
-Mr. Stobart came to a halt in a lane leading to the river, where a row
-of rickety wooden houses hung over an expanse of malodorous mud. The
-tide was out, and a troop of half-naked children were chasing a starved
-dog, with a kettle tied to his tail, through the slime and slush of the
-foreshore.
-
-"Oh, the poor dog!" cried Tonia, as they stood on a causeway at the end
-of the lane. "For pity's sake stop those little wretches!"
-
-George called to them, but they only looked at him, and pursued their
-sport. Had he been alone he would have given the little demons chase,
-but he could not risk bespattering himself from head to foot in a
-lady's company.
-
-"There is but one way to stop them," he said, "and that is to teach
-them better. We are trying to do that in our schools, but the task
-needs twenty-fold more men and more money than we can command. 'Twould
-shock you, no doubt, to see how the children of the poor amuse
-themselves; but I question if there is more cruelty to the brute
-creation among those unenlightened brats than among the children of
-our nobility, who are bred up to think a cock-fight or a stag-hunt the
-summit of earthly bliss. Jim Rednap," he shouted, as the chase doubled
-and came within earshot, "if you don't untie that kettle and let the
-dog go, I'll give you a flogging that will make you squall."
-
-The biggest of the boys looked up at this address, recognized a
-well-known figure, and called to his companions to stop. They halted,
-their yells ceased, and the hunted cur scrambled up the slippery stone
-steps, at the top of which Antonia and Stobart were standing. He caught
-the dog, took off the kettle, and flung it into the river. The boy
-Rednap came slowly up the steps.
-
-"'Twarn't me that begun it," he said sheepishly.
-
-"'Twas you that should have stopped it. You're bigger and older than
-the others. You are twice as wicked, because you know better. What
-will your poor mother say when I tell her that you take pleasure in
-tormenting God's creatures?"
-
-He was stooping to pat the half-starved mongrel as he spoke to the boy,
-and perhaps that tender touch of his hand and his countenance as he
-looked at the beast, was a better lesson than his spoken reproof.
-
-"See," Antonia said, dropping a shilling into the boy's grimy palm.
-"Fetch me twopenn'orth of bread for the dog, and keep the change for
-yourself."
-
-The boy stared, clutched the coin, and ran off.
-
-"Will he come back?" asked Antonia.
-
-"Yes; he's not as bad as he looks. His mother is one of the lost sheep
-that the Shepherd has found. Her season of repentance will be but
-brief, poor soul, since she is marked for death; but she leans on Him
-who never turned the light of His countenance from the penitent sinner."
-
-"Is the boy's father living?"
-
-George Stobart shrugged his shoulders.
-
-"Who knows? She does not, poor wretch! He is dead for her. She has
-three children, and has toiled to keep them from starving till she has
-fallen under her burden."
-
-"Let me provide for them! Let her know that they will be cared for
-when she is gone. It may make her last hours happy," said Antonia,
-impetuously.
-
-"I will not hinder you in any work of beneficence; but among so many
-and in such pressing need of help it would be well to take time, and to
-consider how you can make your money go furthest."
-
-"I will buy no more foolish things--trumpery that I forget or sicken
-of a few hours after 'tis bought. I will go to no more china auctions,
-squander no more guineas at Mrs. Chenevix's. Oh, Mr. Stobart, I know
-you despise me because I am like the young man in the gospel story. I
-am too rich not to be fond of riches. But indeed, sir, I do desire to
-help the poor."
-
-"I believe it, madam, and that God will bless your desires. 'Tis not
-easy for a woman in the bloom of youth and beauty to take up the cross
-as Lady Huntingdon has done--to dedicate all she has of fortune and
-influence to the service of Christ. 'Twere cruel to reproach you for
-falling short of so rare a perfection."
-
-"I have been told that Lady Huntingdon leaves it to doubters like me to
-feed the hungry and clothe the naked--since the cry of the destitute
-appeals to all alike--and that she devotes all her means to paying
-preachers, and providing chapels."
-
-"That, madam, is her view of Christ's service; and I doubt she is
-right. When all mankind believe in Christ, there will be no more want
-and misery in this world; for the rich will remember that to refuse
-help to His poor is to deny Him."
-
-The boy came back, breathless with running, and carrying a twopenny
-loaf in his grimy paw. He had gnawed off a corner crust as he ran.
-
-"Dogs don't love crust," he remarked apologetically, as he knelt down
-in the dirt and fed the famished cur.
-
-He went with them presently to his mother's garret, where Antonia sat
-by the woman's bed for half an hour, while Stobart read or talked to
-her. His tenderness to the sick woman and the reasonableness of all he
-said impressed even the unbeliever. His words touched her heart, though
-they left her mind unconvinced. The room showed an exceeding poverty,
-but was cleaner than Antonia had hoped to find it; and she could but
-smile upon discovering that Mr. Stobart had helped the three children
-to scrub the floor and clean the windows in the course of his last
-visit, and had made Jim, the eldest of the family, promise to brush the
-hearth and dust the room every morning, and had supplied him with a
-broom, and soap, and other materials for cleanliness. The boy was his
-mother's sick nurse, and was really helpful in his rough way. The other
-two children attended at an infant school which Stobart had set up in a
-room near, at a minimum cost for rent and fire. The teachers were three
-young women of the prosperous middle-classes, who each worked two days
-a week without remuneration.
-
-After this quiet visit to the dying woman, Stobart led Lady Kilrush
-through crowded courts and alleys, where every object that her eyes
-rested on was a thing that revolted or pained her--brutal faces;
-famished faces; lowering viciousness; despairing want; brazen impudence
-that fixed her with a bold stare, and then burst into an angry laugh at
-her beauty, or pointed scornfully to the diamonds in her ears. Insolent
-remarks were flung after her; children in the gutters larded their
-speech with curses; obscene exclamations greeted the strange apparition
-of a woman so unlike the native womanhood. Had she been some freak of
-nature at a show in Bartholomew Fair, she could scarcely have been
-looked at with a more brutal curiosity.
-
-Stobart held her arm fast in his, and hurried her through the filthy
-throng, hurried her past houses that he knew for dangerous--houses in
-which small-pox or jail fever had been raging, fever as terrible as
-that of the year '50, when half the bar at the Old Bailey had been
-stricken with death during the long hours of a famous trial for murder.
-Jail birds were common in these rotten dens where King George's poor
-had their abode, and they brought small-pox and putrid fever home with
-them, from King George's populous prisons, where the vile and the
-unfortunate, the poor debtor and the notorious felon, were herded cheek
-by jowl in a common misery. He was careful to take her only into the
-cleanest houses, to steer clear of vice and violence. He showed her his
-best cases--cases where gospel teaching had worked for good; the people
-he had helped into a decent way of life; industrious mothers; pious
-old women toiling for orphaned grandchildren; young women, redeemed
-from sin, maintaining themselves in a semi-starvation, content to
-drudge twelve hours a day just to keep off hunger.
-
-Her heart melted with pity, and glowed with generous impulses. She
-clasped the women's hands; she vowed she would be their friend and
-helper, and showered her gold among them.
-
-"Teach me how to help them," she said. "Oh, these martyrs of poverty!
-Show me how to make their lives happier."
-
-"Be sure I shall not be slack to engage your ladyship in good works,"
-he answered cordially. "If you will suffer me to be your counsellor you
-may do a world of good, and yet keep your fine house and your Indian
-jewels. Your influence should enlist others in the crusade against
-misery. It needs but the superfluous wealth of all the rich to save the
-lives and the souls of all the poor."
-
-He was hurrying her towards a coach stand, through the deepening gloom
-of November. They had spent more than three hours in these haunts of
-wretchedness, and the brief day had closed upon them. The lights on
-Westminster Bridge and King Street seemed to belong to another world as
-the coach drove to St. James's Square. Stobart insisted on accompanying
-Antonia to her own door, and took leave of her on the threshold with
-much more of friendship than he had shown her hitherto. He seemed to
-her a changed being since they had walked through those wretched alleys
-together. Hitherto his manner with her had been stiff and constrained,
-with an underlying air of disapproval. But now that she had seen him
-beside a sick-bed, and had seen how he loved and understood the poor,
-and how he was loved and understood by them, she began to realize how
-good and generous a heart beat under that chilling exterior. The idea
-of a man in the flower of his youth flinging off a profession he loved,
-to devote his life to charity appealed to all her best feelings.
-
-"I shall wait on your wife to-morrow morning," she said. "You will have
-time before I come to decide what I can do to help those poor wretches.
-Their white faces would haunt my dreams to-night if I did not know
-that I could do something to make them happier."
-
-"Sleep sweetly," he answered gently. "You have a heart to pity the
-poor."
-
-He bent over her gloved hand, touched it lightly with his lips, and
-vanished as she crossed her threshold, where the hall-porter and three
-pompous footmen gave a royal air to her entrance.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIV.
-
-
-"ONE THREAD IN LIFE WORTH SPINNING."
-
-
-Antonia spent the next morning, from twelve to two, in the cottage
-parlour at Sheen, where Stobart spread out his reports and calculations
-before her, showed her what he had done in the district John Wesley
-had allotted to him, and how much--how infinitely more than had been
-done--there remained to do!
-
-"My own means are so narrow that I can give but little temporal help,"
-he said. "I have to stand by with empty pockets and see suffering that
-a few shillings could relieve. I have even thought of appealing to my
-mother--who has not used me well--but she was married six months ago
-to an old admirer, Sir David Lanigan, an Irish soldier, and a fierce
-High Churchman, who hates the Wesleys; so I doubt 'twould be wasted
-humiliation to ask her for aid. I have not scrupled to beg of my rich
-friends, and have raised money to apprentice at least fifty lads who
-were in the way to become thieves and reprobates. I have ministered to
-the two ends of life--to childhood and old age. The middle period must
-fight for itself."
-
-He read his notes of various hard cases. He had jotted down stern
-facts with a stern brevity; but the pathos in the facts themselves
-brought tears to Antonia's eyes more than once in the course of his
-reading. He showed her what good might be done by a few shillings a
-week to this family, in which there was a bedridden son--and to another
-where there was a consumptive daughter; how there was a little lad
-starving in the gutter who could be billeted upon a hard-working honest
-family--how for the cost of a room with fire and candle, and sixpence a
-day for a nurse, he could provide a nursery where the infants of the
-women-toilers could be kept during the day.
-
-"I have heard of some nuns at Avignon who set up such a room for the
-women workers in the vineyards," he said. "I think they called it a
-_creche_."
-
-Mrs. Stobart sat by the window busy with her plain sewing, of which she
-had always enough to fill every leisure hour. She looked up now and
-then and listened, with a mild interest in her husband's work; but she
-was just a little tired of it, and the fervid enthusiasm of the time
-of her conversion seemed very far away. Staffordshire tea-things and
-copper tea-kettle, brass fender and mahogany bureau filled so large
-a place in her thoughts, after her husband and son, both of whom she
-loved with her utmost power of loving, which was not of a high order.
-She crept away at one o'clock to see her baby George eat his dinner. He
-was old enough to sit up in his high mahogany chair and feed himself,
-with many skirmishing movements of his spoon, which he brandished
-between the slow mouthfuls as if it were a tomahawk.
-
-George and Antonia were so absorbed in their work that Mrs. Stobart had
-been gone nearly an hour before either of them knew she was absent. The
-maid came blundering in with a tray as the clock struck two, and began
-to lay the cloth. Antonia rose to take leave, and insisted on going
-at once. Her carriage had been waiting half an hour in a drizzling
-November rain. She left quickly, but not before she had seen that
-Mr. Stobart's dinner consisted of the somewhat scrimped remains of a
-shoulder of mutton, and a dish of potatoes boiled in their skins.
-
-She knew some of the officers in his late regiment, and knew how they
-lived; and it shocked her a little to recall that squalid meal when she
-sat down at four o'clock, with a party of friends, at a table loaded
-with an extravagant profusion of the richest food her cook's inventive
-powers could bring together. She had seen the expensive French _chef_
-standing before her with pencil and bill of fare, racking his brains to
-devise something novel and costly.
-
-That morning at Sheen was the beginning of a close alliance in the
-cause of charity between Mr. Stobart and Lady Kilrush. They were
-partners in a business of good works; and all questions of creed were
-for the most part ignored between them. He would have gladly spoken
-words in season, but she had a way of putting him off, and she had
-become to him so beneficent and divine a creature that it was difficult
-for him to remember that she was not a Christian.
-
-The five thousand a year which she had so freely offered him for his
-own use she now set aside for his poor.
-
-"I can spare as much," she said, "and yet be a fine lady. Some day,
-perhaps, when I am old and withered, like the hags that haunt Ranelagh,
-I may grow tired of finery; and then the poor shall have nearly all my
-money, and I will live as you do, in a cottage, at ten pounds a year,
-on a bone of cold mutton and a potato. But while I am young I doubt I
-shall go on caring for trumpery things. It is such a pleasant change,
-when I have been in one of your loathsome alleys, to find myself at
-Leicester House with the princess and her party of wits and _savants_,
-or at Carlisle House, dancing in a chain of dukes and duchesses, with a
-German Royal Highness for my partner."
-
-The responsibilities that went with the administration of so large a
-fund made a change in George Stobart's life. His residence at Sheen
-had long been inconvenient, the journey to and fro wasting time for
-which he had better uses. Lucy loved her rustic home and garden in
-summer; but she was one of those people who love the country when the
-sun shines and the roses are in bloom. In the damp autumnal afternoons,
-when silvery mists veiled the common, her spirits sank, and she began
-to grow fretful at her husband's absence, and to reproach him if he
-were late in coming home.
-
-He wanted his wife to be happy, and he wanted to be near the scene of
-his labours, and within half an hour's walk of St. James's Square.
-After a careful search he found a house on the south side of the
-Thames, a quarter of a mile from Westminster Bridge, in Crown Place,
-a modest terrace facing the river. The house was roomier and more
-convenient than his rustic cottage; but the long strip of garden
-between low walls was a sad falling off from the lawn and orchard at
-Sheen, and he feared that Lucy would regret the change.
-
-Lucy had no regrets. The larger rooms at Lambeth, the dwarf cupboards
-on each side of the parlour fireplace, the convenient closets on the
-upper floor, the doorsteps and iron railings, and the view of the
-river, with the Abbey and Houses of Parliament, and the crowded roofs
-and chimneys of Westminster, filled her with delight. The cottage and
-garden had been enchanting while the glamour of newly wedded love
-shone upon them; but by the time her spirits had settled into a calm
-commonplace of domestic life Lucy had discovered that she hated the
-country, and smelt ghosts under the sloping ceilings of those quaint
-cottage garrets where generations of labouring men and women had
-been born and died. Not unseldom had she longed for the bustle of
-Moorfields, and the din and riot of Bartholomew Fair, the annual treat
-of her childhood.
-
-She arranged her furniture in the new home with complacency, and
-thought her son's nursery and her best parlour the prettiest rooms in
-the world, much nicer to live in than her ladyship's suite of saloons,
-where the splendid spaciousness scared her. She had known few happier
-hours in her life than the February afternoon when Lady Kilrush and
-Sophy Potter came to tea, and were both full of compliments upon her
-parlour, which had been newly done up, with the panelled dado painted
-pink, and a wallpaper sprinkled with roses and butterflies.
-
-Sophy Potter, who retired into the background of Antonia's life in St.
-James's Square, was often her companion in her visits to the poor, and
-took very kindly to the work. As it was hardly possible to avoid the
-peril of small-pox in such visits, Mr. Stobart prevailed upon mistress
-and maid to submit to the ordeal of inoculation. The operation in
-Sophy's case was succeeded by a mild form of the malady; but the virus
-had no effect upon Antonia, and her physician argued that the vigour of
-a constitution which resisted the artificial infection would ensure her
-immunity from the disease. Neither her husband's entreaties, nor the
-example of Lady Kilrush could induce Mrs. Stobart to brave the perils
-of inoculation. It was in vain that George pleaded, and set a doctor
-to argue with her. Her horror of the small-pox made her shrink with
-tears and trembling from the notion of the lightest attack produced
-artificially.
-
-"If it kills me you will be sorry for having forced me to consent," she
-said, and George reluctantly submitted to her refusal. _She_ never went
-among his poor, and had never expressed a desire to see them.
-
-"I saw enough of such wretches round Moorfields," she said. "I never
-want to go near them again. And I have quite enough to do to keep my
-house clean, and look after my little boy. You would want another
-servant if I went trapesing about your lanes and alleys, when I ought
-to be washing the tea-things and polishing the furniture."
-
-Could he be angry with her for being industrious and keeping his house
-a pattern of neatness? He had long ago come to understand the narrow
-range of her thoughts and feelings; but while she was pious and gentle
-and his devoted wife, he had no ground for thinking he had made a
-mistake in choosing a lowborn helpmeet.
-
-From the hurried idleness of a fashionable life Antonia stole many
-hours for the dwellings of the poor. In most of her visits to those
-haunts of misery she was attended by Stobart; but she had a way of
-eluding his guardianship sometimes, and would set out alone, or with
-Miss Potter, on one of her visits of mercy.
-
-As time went on he grew more apprehensive of danger in her
-explorations; for now that she was familiar with the class among which
-he worked, her intrepid spirit tempted her to plunge deeper into the
-dark abyss of guilty and unhappy lives.
-
-The time came when he could no longer bear to think of the perils that
-surrounded her in the close and fetid alleys where typhus and small-pox
-were never wholly absent; and at the risk of offending her he assumed
-the voice of authority.
-
-"You told me once that I was your only family connection," he said,
-"and I presume upon that slender tie to forbid you running such risks
-as you incur when you enter such a den of fever as the house where I
-found you yesterday."
-
-"What, sir, _you_ forbid me?--you whose clarion call startled me from
-my selfish pleasure; _you_ who showed me my worthless life!"
-
-"You have done much to redeem that worthlessness, by your sacrifice of
-income."
-
-"Sacrifice! You know, sir, that in your heart of hearts you despise
-such paltering with charity. In your estimation, not to give all is to
-give nothing!"
-
-"You paint me as a bigot, madam, and not as a Christian. Be sure that
-_He_ who praised the Samaritan approves your charity, and that He
-who holds the seven stars in His right hand will open your eyes to
-the light of revelation. A soul so lofty will not be left for ever
-in darkness. But in the mean time there can be no good done by your
-presence in places where you hazard health and life. You have made me
-your almoner, and it is my duty to see that the uttermost good is done
-with the money you have entrusted to me. Your own presence in those
-perilous places is useless. You have no gospel to carry to the sick and
-dying."
-
-"Oh, sir, I have sympathy and compassion to give them. I doubt they
-get enough of the gospel, and that the company of a woman who can feel
-for their sufferings and soothe them in their pain is not without use.
-There is no sick-bed that I have sat by where I have not been entreated
-to return. The poor creatures like to tell me their troubles, to
-expatiate on their miseries, and I listen, and never let them think I
-am tired."
-
-"You scatter gold among them; you demoralize them by your reckless
-almsgiving."
-
-"No, no, no! I feed them. If there come days when the larder is empty,
-they have at least the memory of a feast. Your gospel will not stop the
-pangs of hunger. That is but a hysterical devotion which goes famishing
-to bed to dream of the Golden City with jasper walls, and the angels
-standing round the throne. Dreams, dreams, only dreams! You stuff those
-suffering creatures with dreams."
-
-"I strive to make them look beyond their sufferings here to the
-unspeakable bliss of the life hereafter," Stobart answered gravely;
-and then he entreated her to go no more into those alleys where he now
-worked every day, and from which he came to her two or three times a
-week to report progress.
-
-He came to her after his work, in the hour before the six o'clock
-tea at which she was rarely without visitors. If he was told she had
-company he went away without seeing her; but between five and six was
-the likeliest hour for finding her alone, since her drawing-rooms were
-crowded with morning visitors, and her evenings were seasons of gaiety
-at home or abroad.
-
-She received him always in the library, a room she loved, and where
-they had had their first serious conversation. Here, if he looked
-tired, she would order in the urn and tea-things, and would make
-tea for him, while he told her the story of the day. To sit in an
-easy-chair beside the wood fire and to have her minister to him made an
-oasis of rest in the desert of toil, and he soon began to look forward
-to this hour as the bright spot in his life, the recompense for every
-sacrifice of self.
-
-The first thunder of a footman's double knock, the clatter of high
-heels and rustle of brocade in the hall, sent him away. He had made no
-second appearance among her modish visitors.
-
-"Go and shine, and sparkle, and flutter your jewelled wings among other
-butterflies," he said. "I claim no part in your life in the world; but
-I am proud to know that there are hours in which you are something
-better than a woman of fashion."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The pleasures of the town and the assiduities of Antonia's friends and
-admirers became more absorbing as her influence in the great world
-increased. Her open-handed hospitality, the splendour of her house, and
-the success of her entertainments had placed her on a pinnacle of _ton_.
-
-She held her own among the greatest ladies in London, and was on
-familiar terms with all the duchesses--Portland, Queensberry, Norfolk,
-Bedford, Hamilton--and nobody ever reminded her, by a shade of
-difference in their appreciation, that she had not been born in the
-purple.
-
-She had more admirers than she took the trouble to count, and
-had refused offers of marriage that most women would have found
-irresistible. Charles Townshend had followed and courted her; and in
-spite of all she could do to discourage his addresses by a light gaiety
-of manner that proclaimed her indifference, he had found her alone one
-morning, and flung himself on his knees to sue for her hand.
-
-Deeply hurt when she rejected him, he reproached her for having fooled
-him by her civility.
-
-"Oh, sir, would you have me distant or sullen to the most brilliant man
-in London? I thought I let you see that, though I loved your company,
-my heart was disengaged, and that I had no preference for one man over
-another."
-
-"I doubt, madam, you despise a plain mister, and will wait for the next
-marrying Duke. Wert not for the recent Marriage Act you might aspire to
-a prince of the blood royal. Your ambition would be justified by your
-beauty; and I believe your pride is equal to your charms."
-
-"I shall never marry again, Mr. Townshend. I loved my husband; and the
-tragedy of our marriage made that love more sacred than the common
-affection of wives."
-
-"Nay, madam, is there not something more potent than the memory of a
-departed husband, which makes you scorn my passion? I have several
-times met a certain grave gentleman in your hall, who seems privileged
-to enjoy your society when you have no other company, and who leaves
-you when your indifferent acquaintance are admitted."
-
-"That gentleman is my dear lord's cousin, and a married man. He can
-have no influence upon my resolve against a second marriage."
-
-She rang a bell, and made Mr. Townshend a curtsey which meant
-dismissal. He retired in silent displeasure, knowing that he had
-affronted her.
-
-"'Tis deuced hard to be cut out by a sneaking Methodist," he muttered
-as he followed the footman downstairs.
-
-He spent the evening at White's, played higher and drank deeper than
-usual, and was weak enough to mention the lady's name with a scornful
-anger which betrayed his mortification; and before the next night all
-the town knew that Townshend had been refused.
-
-The rumour came to Stobart's knowledge a week later by means of a
-paragraph in the _Daily Journal_, with the usual initials and the usual
-stars. "Lady K., the beautiful widow, has fallen out with Mr. C. T.,
-the aspiring politician, wit and trifler, whose eminent success as a
-lady-killer has made him unable to endure rejection at the hands of a
-beauty who, after all, belongs but to the lower ranks of the peerage,
-and cannot boast of a genteel ancestry."
-
-Stobart read this stale news in a three-days'-old paper at the shabby
-coffee-house in the Borough, where he sometimes took a snack of bread
-and cheese and a glass of twopenny porter, instead of going home to
-dinner.
-
-"I doubt she has many such offers," he thought, "for she hangs out
-every bait that can tempt a lover--beauty, parts, fortune. If she has
-refused Townshend 'tis, perhaps, only because there is some one else
-pleases her better. She will marry, and I shall lose her; for 'tis
-likely her husband will cut short her friendship for a follower of John
-Wesley, lest the Word of God should creep into his house unawares."
-
-He left London early in April in Mr. Wesley's company, and rode with
-that indefatigable man through the rural English landscape, making from
-forty to fifty miles a day, and halting every day at some market cross,
-or on some heathy knoll on the outskirts of town or village, to preach
-the gospel to listening throngs. Their journey on this occasion took
-them through quiet agricultural communities and small market towns,
-where the ill-usage that Wesley had suffered at Bolton and at Falmouth
-was undreamt of among the congregations who hung upon his words and
-loved his presence. He was now in middle life, hale and wiry, a small,
-neatly built man, with an extraordinary capacity for enduring fatigue,
-and a serene temper which made light of scanty fare and rough quarters.
-He was an untiring rider, but had never troubled himself to acquire the
-art of horsemanship, and as he mostly read a book during his country
-rides, he had fallen into a slovenly, stooping attitude over the neck
-of his horse. He had been often thrown, but rarely hurt, and had a
-Spartan indifference to such disasters. He loved a good horse, but was
-willing to put up with any beast that would carry him to the spot where
-he was expected. He hated to break an appointment, and was the most
-punctual as well as the most polite of men.
-
-He liked George Stobart, having assayed his mental and moral qualities
-at the beginning of their acquaintance, and having pronounced him true
-metal. He was a man of wide sympathies, and during this April journey
-through the heart of Hertfordshire, and then by the wooded pastures and
-wide grassy margins of the Warwickshire coach roads between Coventry
-and Stratford-on-Avon, he discovered that something was amiss with his
-helper.
-
-"I hope you do not begin to tire of your work, Stobart," he said.
-"There are some young men I have seen put their hands to the plough
-in a fever of faith and piety, and drive their first furrow deep and
-straight, and then faith grows dim, and the line straggles, and my
-sorrowful heart tells me that the labourer is good for nothing. But I
-do not think you are of that kidney."
-
-"I hope not, sir."
-
-"But I see there is trouble of some sort on your mind. We passed a
-vista in that oak wood yonder, with the smiling sun showing like a disk
-of blood-red gold at the end of the clearing; and you, who have such
-an eye for landscape, stared at it with a vacant gaze. I'll vouch for
-it you have uneasy thoughts that come between you and God's beautiful
-world."
-
-"I trouble myself without reason, sir, about a soul that I would fain
-win for Christ, and cannot."
-
-"'Tis of your cousin's widow, Lady Kilrush, you are thinking," Wesley
-said, with a keen glance.
-
-"Oh, sir, how did you divine that?"
-
-"Because you told me of the lady's infidel opinions; and as I know how
-lavish she has been with her money in helping your work among the poor,
-I can understand that in sheer gratitude you would desire to bring her
-into the fold. I doubt you have tried, in all seriousness?"
-
-"I have tried, sir; but not hard enough. My cousin is a strange
-creature--generous, impetuous, charitable; but she has a commanding
-temper, and a light way of putting me off in an argument, which make it
-hard to reason with her. And then I doubt Satan has ever the best of
-it, and that 'tis easier to argue on the evil side, easier to deny than
-to prove. When I am in my cousin's company, and we are both interested
-in the wretches she has saved from misery, I find myself forgetting
-that while she snatches the sick and famished from the jaws of death,
-her immortal soul is in danger of a worse death than the grave, and
-that in all the time we have been friends nothing has been done for her
-salvation."
-
-"Mr. Stobart, I doubt you have thought too much of the woman and
-too little of the woman's unawakened soul," Wesley said, with grave
-reproof. "Her beauty has dazzled your senses; and conscience has been
-lulled to sleep. As your pastor and your friend I warn you that you do
-ill to cherish the company of a beautiful heathen, save with the sole
-intent of accomplishing her salvation."
-
-"Oh, sir, can you think me so weak a wretch as to entertain one
-unworthy thought in relation to this lady, who has ever treated me with
-a sisterly friendship? The fact that she is exquisitely beautiful can
-make no difference in my concern for her. I would give half the years
-of my life to save her soul; and I see her carried along the flood-tide
-of modish pleasures, the mark for gamesters and spendthrifts, and I
-dread to hear that she has been won by the most audacious and the worst
-of the worthless crew."
-
-"If you can keep your own conscience clear of evil, and win this woman
-from the toils of Satan, you will do well," said Wesley, "but tamper
-not with the truth; and if you fail in bringing her to a right way
-of thinking, part company with her for ever. You know that I am your
-friend, Stobart. My heart went out to you at the beginning of our
-acquaintance, when you told me of your marriage with a young woman
-so much your inferior in worldly rank, for your attachment to a girl
-of the servant class recalled my own experience. The woman I loved
-best, before I met Mrs. Wesley, was a woman who had been a domestic
-servant, but whose intellect and character fitted her for the highest
-place in the esteem of all good people. Circumstances prevented our
-union--and--I made another choice."
-
-He concluded his speech with an involuntary sigh, and George Stobart
-knew that the great leader, who had many enthusiastic followers and
-helpers among the women of his flock, had not been fortunate in that
-one woman who ought to have been first in her sympathy with his work.
-
-Stobart spent a month on the road with his chief, preaching at Bristol
-and to the Kingswood miners, and journeying from south to north with
-him, in company with one of Wesley's earliest and best lay preachers, a
-man of humble birth, but greatly gifted for his work among assemblies
-in which more than half of his hearers were heathens, to whom the Word
-of God was a new thing--souls dulled by the monotony of daily toil,
-and only to be aroused from the apathy of a brutish ignorance by an
-emotional preacher. Those who had stood by Whitefield's side when the
-tears rolled down the miners' blackened faces, knew how strong, how
-urgent, how pathetic must be the appeal, and how sure the result when
-that appeal is pitched in the right key.
-
-The little band bore every hardship and inconvenience of a journey on
-horseback through all kinds of weather, with unvarying good humour;
-for Wesley's cheerful spirits set them so fine an example of Christian
-contentment that they who were his juniors would have been ashamed to
-complain.
-
-In some of the towns on their route Mr. Wesley had friends who were
-eager to entertain the travellers, and in whose pious households they
-fared well. In other places they had to put up with the rough meals
-and hard beds of inns rarely frequented by gentlefolks; or sometimes,
-belated in desolate regions, had to take shelter in a roadside hovel,
-where they could scarce command a loaf of black bread for their supper,
-and a shakedown of straw for their couch.
-
-May had begun when Wesley and his deacons arrived in London, after
-having preached to hundreds of thousands on their way. Stobart had
-been absent more than a month, and the time seemed much longer than it
-really was by reason of the distances traversed and the varieties of
-life encountered on the way. He had received a weekly letter from his
-wife, who told him of all her household cares, and of Georgie's daily
-growth in childish graces. He had answered all her letters, telling
-her of his adventures on the road, in which she took a keen interest,
-loving most of all to hear of the fine houses to which he was invited,
-the dishes at table, and the way they were served, the tea-things and
-tray, and if the urn were copper or silver, also the dress of the
-ladies, and whether they wore linen aprons in the morning. He knew her
-little weaknesses, and indulged her, and rarely returned from a journey
-without bringing her some trifling gift for her house, a cream-jug of
-some special ware, a damask table-cloth, or something he knew she loved.
-
-Their union had been one of peace and a tranquil affection, which on
-Stobart's part outlived the brief fervour of a self-sacrificing love.
-The romantic feeling, the glow of religious enthusiasm which had led
-to his marriage, belonged to the past; but he told himself that he had
-done well to marry the printer's daughter, and that she was the fittest
-helpmeet he could have chosen, since she left him free to work out his
-salvation, and submitted with gentle obedience to the necessities of
-his spiritual life.
-
-"Mr. Wesley would thank Providence for so placid a companion," he
-thought, having heard of his leader's sufferings from a virago who
-opened and destroyed his letters, insulted his friends, and tormented
-him with an unreasoning jealousy that made his home life a kind of
-martyrdom.
-
-During that religious pilgrimage Stobart had written several times to
-Lady Kilrush--letters inspired by his intercourse with Wesley, and by
-the spiritual experiences of the day; letters written in the quiet of
-a sleeping household, and aflame with the ardent desire to save that
-one most precious soul from eternal condemnation. He had written with a
-vehement importunity which he had never ventured in his conversation;
-had wrestled with the infidel spirit as Jacob wrestled with the angel;
-had been moved even to tears by his own eloquence, carried away by the
-ardour of his feelings.
-
-"Since I was last in your company I have seen multitudes won from
-Satan; have seen the roughest natures softened to penitent tears at the
-story of Calvary--the hardest hearts melted, reprobates and vagabonds
-laying down their burden of sins, and taking up the Cross. And I have
-thought of you, so gifted by nature, so rare a jewel for the crown of
-Christ--you whose inexhaustible treasures of love and compassion I have
-seen poured upon the most miserable of this world's outcasts, the very
-scum and refuse of debased humanity. You, so kind, so pitiful, so clear
-of brain and steadfast of purpose, can you for ever reject those Divine
-promises, that gift of eternal life by which alone we are better than
-the brutes that perish?"
-
-"Alas! dear sir," Antonia wrote in her reply to this last letter,
-"can you not be content with so many victories, so great a multitude
-won from Satan, and leave one solitary sinner to work out her own
-destiny? If my mind could realize your kingdom of the saints, if I
-could believe that far off, in some vague region of this universe,
-whose vastness appals me, there is a world where I shall see the holy
-teacher of Nazareth, hear words of ineffable wisdom from living lips,
-and, most precious of all, see once again in a new and better life the
-husband who died in my arms, I would accept your creed with ecstatic
-joy. But I cannot. My father taught me to reason, not to dream; and I
-have no power to unlearn what I learnt from him, and from the books he
-put into my hands. Do not let us argue about spiritual things. We shall
-never agree. Teach me to care for the poor and the wretched with a wise
-affection, and to use my fortune as a good woman, Pagan or Christian,
-ought to use riches, for the comfort of others, as well as for her own
-pleasure in the only world she believes in."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The London season, which in those days began and ended earlier than
-it does now, was growing more brilliant as it neared the close.
-When Mr. Stobart returned to town, Ranelagh, Vauxhall, the Italian
-Opera, Handel's Oratorios, the two patent theatres, and that little
-theatre in the Haymarket, where the malicious genius of Samuel Foote
-revelled in mimicry and caricature, were crowded nightly with the salt
-of the earth; and the ruinous pleasures of the St. James's Street
-clubs--White's, Arthur's, and the Cocoa Tree--were still in full
-swing, to the apprehension and horror of fathers and mothers, sisters,
-wives, and sweethearts, who might wake any morning to hear that son or
-husband, brother or lover, had been reduced to beggary between midnight
-and dawn. Losses at cards that ruined families, disputes that ended
-in blood, were the frequent tragedies that heightened the comedy of
-fashionable life by the zest of a poignant contrast.
-
-George Stobart returned to London with Wesley's counsel in his mind. He
-had been told his duty as a Christian. He must hold no commune with a
-daughter of Belial, save in the hope of leading her into the fold. If
-his most strenuous endeavours failed to convert the unbeliever he must
-renounce her friendship and see her no more. He must not trifle with
-sacred things, honour her for a compassionate and generous disposition,
-admire her natural gifts, and forget that she was a daughter of
-perdition.
-
-He recalled the hours he had spent in her company, hours in which all
-religious questions had been ignored while they discussed the means of
-feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. Surely they had been about
-the Master's work, though the Master's name had not been spoken. He
-remembered how, instead of being instant in season and out of season,
-he had kept silence about spiritual things, had even encouraged her
-to talk of those trivial pleasures she loved too well--the court, the
-opera, her patrician friends, her social triumphs. He recalled those
-romantic legends in which some pious knight, journeying towards the
-Holy Land, meets a lovely lady in distress, succours her, pities,
-and even loves her, only to discover the flames of hell in those
-luminous eyes, the fiery breath of Satan upon those alluring lips. He
-swore to be resolute with himself and inexorable to her, to accept
-no compromises, to reject even her gold, if he could not make her a
-Christian.
-
-In his anxiety for her spiritual welfare it was a bitter disappointment
-to him not to find her at home when he called in St. James's Square on
-the day after his return. He called again next day, and was told that
-she was dining with the Duchess of Portland at Whitehall, and was to
-accompany her grace to the Duchess of Norfolk's ball in the evening.
-
-He felt vexed and offended at this second repulse, yet he had reason
-to be grateful to her for her kindness to his wife during his absence.
-She, the fine lady, whose every hour was allotted in the mill-round
-of pleasure, had taken Lucy and the little boy to Hyde Park in her
-coach, and for long country drives to Chiswick and Kew, and had even
-accepted an occasional dish of tea in the parlour at Crown Place, had
-heard Georgie repeat one of Dr. Watts's hymns, and had brought him a
-present of toys from Mrs. Chevenix's, such as no Lambeth child had ever
-possessed.
-
-He had been full of work since his return, visiting his schools and
-infant nurseries, and preaching in an old brewhouse which he had
-converted into a chapel, where he held a nightly service, consisting
-of one earnest prayer, a chapter of the New Testament, and a short
-sermon of friendly counsel, gentle reproof of evil habits and evil
-speech, and fervent exhortation to all sinners to lead a better life;
-and where he held, also, a class for adults who had never been taught
-to read or write, and for whom he laboured with unvarying patience and
-kindness.
-
-He was more out of humour than a Christian should have been when, on
-his third visit to St. James's Square, he was told that her ladyship
-was confined to her room by a headache, and desired not to be
-disturbed, as she was going to the masquerade that evening.
-
-The porter spoke of "the masquerade" with an assurance that no
-gentleman in London could fail to know all about so distinguished an
-entertainment.
-
-Stobart left the door in a huff. It was six weeks since he had seen her
-face, and she valued his friendship so little that she cared not how
-many times he was sent away from her house. She would give herself no
-trouble to receive him.
-
-Instead of going home to supper he wandered about the West End till
-nightfall, when streets and squares began to be alive with links and
-chairmen. At almost every door there was a coach or a chair, and the
-roll of wheels over the stones made an intermittent thunder. Everybody
-of any importance was going to the masquerade, which was a subscription
-dance at Ranelagh, given by a number of bachelor noblemen, and supposed
-to be accessible only to the choicest company; though 'twas odds that
-a week later it would be known that more than one notorious courtesan
-had stolen an entrance, and displayed her fine figure and her diamonds
-among the duchesses.
-
-A fretful restlessness impelled Stobart to pursue his wanderings. The
-thought of the Lambeth parlour, with the sky shut out, and the tallow
-candles guttering in their brass candlesticks, oppressed him with an
-idea of imprisonment.
-
-He walked at random, his nerves soothed by the cool night air, and
-presently, having turned into a main thoroughfare, found himself
-drifting the way the coaches and chairs were going, in a procession of
-lamps and torches, an undulating line of fire and light that flared and
-flickered with every waft of the south-west wind.
-
-All the road between St. James's and Chelsea had a gala air to-night,
-for 'twas said the old king and the Duke of Cumberland would be at
-Ranelagh. People were standing in open doorways, groups were gathered
-at street corners, eager voices named the occupants of chariot or
-sedan, mostly wrong. The Duke of Newcastle was greeted with mingled
-cheers and hisses; Fox evoked a storm of applause; and young Mrs.
-Spencer's diamonds were looked at with gloating admiration by
-milliners' apprentices and half-starved shirt-makers.
-
-Stobart went along with the coaches on the Chelsea Road to the entrance
-of Ranelagh, where a mob had assembled to see the company--a mob which
-seemed as lively and elated as if to stand and stare at beauty and
-jewels, fops and politicians, afforded almost as good an entertainment
-as the festivity under the dome. Having made his way with some elbowing
-to the front row, Stobart had a near view of the company, who had to
-traverse some paces between the spot where their coaches drew up and
-the Doric portico which opened into the rotunda, that magnificent
-pleasure-house which has been compared to the Pantheon at Rome for size
-and architectural dignity.
-
-The portico was ablaze with strings and festoons of many-coloured
-lamps, and from within there came the inspiring sounds of dance music
-played by an orchestra of strings and brasses--sounds that mingled
-with the trampling of horses' hoofs, the cracking of whips, the oaths
-of coachmen, and the remonstrances of link-boys and footmen, trying to
-keep back the crowd.
-
-"Oh, oh, oh!" cried the front row at the appearance of a tall woman,
-masked, and wearing a long pink satin cloak, which fell back as she
-descended from her chariot, revealing a magnificent form attired as
-Diana, in a white satin tunic which displayed more of a handsome leg
-than is often given to the public view, and a gauze drapery that made
-no envious screen between admiring eyes and an alabaster bust and
-shoulders.
-
-"I'll wager her ladyship came out in such a hurry she forgot to put on
-her clothes," said one spectator.
-
-"I say, Sally," cried another, "if you or me was to come out such a
-figure, we should be in the stocks or the pillory before we went home."
-
-"Sure 'tis a kindness in a great lady to show us that duchesses are
-made of flesh and blood like common folks, only finer."
-
-Flashing eyes defied the crowd as the handsome duchess strode by, her
-silver buskins glittering in the rainbow light, her head held at an
-imperial level, admiring fops closing round her, with their hands on
-their sword-hilts, ready to repress or to punish insult.
-
-"Sure, Charley, one would suppose these wretches had never seen a
-handsome woman till to-night," laughed the lady.
-
-"I doubt they never have seen so much of one," answered the gentleman
-in a half-whisper, on which he was called "beast," and rebuked with a
-smart tap from Diana's fan.
-
-A great many people had arrived, peeresses without number, and among
-them Katharine, Duchess of Queensberry, Prior's Kitty, made immortal
-by a verse. This lovely lady appeared in a studied simplicity of white
-lute-string, without a jewel--a beauty unadorned that had somewhat
-missed fire at the last birthday, against the magnificence of her
-rivals. The beautiful Duchess of Hamilton went by with her lovely
-sister, Lady Coventry, radiant in a complexion of white-lead which was
-said to be killing her. Starry creatures like goddesses passed in a
-glittering procession; the music, the babel of voices from within, made
-a tempest of sound; but _she_ had not yet appeared, and Stobart waited
-to see her pass.
-
-She came in her chariot, like Cinderella in the fairy tale.
-Hammer-cloth and liveries were a blaze of gold and blue. Three footmen
-hung behind, with powdered heads, sky-blue velvet coats, white
-breeches, pink stockings and gold garters--gorgeous creatures that
-leapt down to open the coach door and let down the steps, but were not
-suffered to come near her, for a bevy of her admirers had been watching
-for her arrival, and crowded about her carriage door, thrusting her
-lackeys aside.
-
-She laughed at their eagerness.
-
-"'Twas vastly kind of you to wait for me, Sir Joseph," she said to the
-foremost. "I should scarce have dared to plunge into the whirlpool
-of company unattended. Lady Margaret had a couple of young things to
-bring, who insisted upon coming here directly the room opened, so I
-let her come without me. I love a _fete_ best at the flood-tide. Sure
-your lordship must think me monstrous troublesome if I have robbed you
-of a dance," she added, turning to a tall man in smoke-coloured velvet
-and silver.
-
-"I think your ladyship knows that there is but one woman in Europe I
-love to dance with," said Lord Dunkeld, gravely.
-
-He was a man of distinguished rank and fortune, distinguished merit
-also--a man whom Stobart had known and admired in his society days.
-
-"Then 'tis some woman in Asia you are thinking of when I see you
-distrait or out of spirits," Antonia said lightly, as she took his arm.
-
-"Alas! fair enslaver, you know too well your power to make me happy or
-wretched," he murmured in her ear.
-
-"I hope everybody will be happy to-night," she said gaily, "or you
-subscribing gentlemen, who have taken so much trouble to please us,
-will be ill-paid for your pains. For my own part, I mean to think
-Ranelagh the seventh heaven, and not to refuse a dance."
-
-She wore her velvet loup, with a filmy border of Brussels that clouded
-the carmine of her lips. Her white teeth flashed against the black
-lace, her smile was enchantingly gay.
-
-Stobart heard her in a gloomy temper. What hope was there for such a
-woman--so given over to worldly pleasures, with no capacity for thought
-of serious things, no desire for immortality, finding her paradise in a
-masquerade, her happiness in the adulation of fools?
-
-"How can I ever bring her nearer to God while she lives in a perpetual
-intoxication of earthly pleasures, while she so exults in her beauty
-and her power over the hearts of men?"
-
-She wore a diamond tiara and necklace of matchless fire. Her gown
-was white and silver, the stomacher covered with coloured jewels
-that flashed between the opening of her long black silk domino, an
-ample garment with loose sleeves. She had arrayed herself in all her
-splendour for this much-talked-of masquerade, wishing to do honour to
-the gentlemen who gave the treat.
-
-"Bid my servants fetch me at one o'clock, if you please, Sir Joseph,"
-she said to the cavalier on her left.
-
-"At one! Impossible! 'Tis nearly eleven already. I shall order them at
-three, and I'll wager they'll have to wait hours after that."
-
-"You make very sure of your dance pleasing folks," she said. "I doubt
-I shall have yawned myself half dead before three o'clock; but you'll
-have to find me a seat in a dark corner where I can sleep behind my
-fan."
-
-"There are no dark corners--except in the gallery for lovers and
-dowagers--and I pledge myself nobody under forty shall have any
-disposition for slumber," protested Sir Joseph, as he ran off to give
-her orders.
-
-She passed under the lamp-lit portico on Lord Dunkeld's arm.
-
-"_That_ is the man she will marry," Stobart thought, as he walked away,
-hurrying from the crowd and the lights, and noise and laughter, and
-past a tavern a little way off, in front of which an army of footmen
-and links were gathered, and where they and the crowd were being served
-with beer and gin. He was glad to get into a dark lane that led towards
-Westminster Bridge, skirting the river, and to be able to think quietly.
-
-She would marry Dunkeld. Was it not the best thing she could do--her
-best chance for the saving of that immortal soul which he had tried in
-vain to save? Dunkeld was no idle pleasure-lover, though he mixed in
-the diversions of his time. He was a politician, had written more than
-one pamphlet that had commanded the attention of the town. He was a
-good Churchman, a regular attendant at the Chapel Royal. He was rich
-enough to be above suspicion of mercenary views. He had never been a
-gambler or a profligate. He was seven and thirty, Antonia's senior by
-about twelve years. Assuredly she would be safer from the evil of the
-time as Dunkeld's wife than in her present unprotected position.
-
-He repeated these arguments with unending iteration throughout his
-homeward walk. It was perhaps his duty to urge this union upon her.
-She had never spoken to him of Dunkeld, or in so casual a tone that he
-had suspected her of no uncommon friendship for that excellent man;
-yet he could hardly doubt that she favoured his suit. Dunkeld was
-handsome, accomplished, of an ancient Scottish family, had made his
-mark in the English House of Commons. Stobart could scarcely believe it
-possible that such a suitor had failed to engage Antonia's affections.
-At any rate, it was his duty--his duty as a friend, as a Christian--to
-persuade her to this marriage.
-
-He found his wife sitting up for him, and the supper untouched, though
-it was midnight when he got home. The supper was but a frugal meal of
-bread and cheese, a spring salad, and small beer; but the table was
-neatly laid with a clean damask cloth, and adorned with a Lowestoft
-bowl of wallflowers. Lucy had a genius for small things, and was quick
-to learn any art that light hands and perseverance could accomplish.
-
-"How late you are, George!" she exclaimed. "I was almost frightened.
-Have you been teaching your night class all these hours?"
-
-"No, 'tis not a class night. I have been roaming the streets, full of
-thought, but idle of purpose. I let myself drift with the crowd, and
-went to stare at the fine people going into Ranelagh."
-
-"You! Well, 'tis a wonder. But why didn't you take me? I should have
-loved to see the fancy dresses and masks and dominos. Indeed, I should
-have asked you many a time to let me see the quality going to Court,
-only I fancied you thought all such shows wicked."
-
-"A wicked waste of time. I doubt I have been wickedly wasting my time
-to-night, Lucy; yet perhaps some good may come of my idleness. God can
-turn even our errors to profit."
-
-"Oh, George, I have done very wrong," his wife said, with sudden
-seriousness. "I have forgotten something."
-
-"Nay, child, 'tis not the first time. Thy genius never showed strongest
-in remembering things."
-
-"But this was a serious thing, and you'll scold me when you know it."
-
-"Be brief, dear, and I promise to be indulgent."
-
-"You know Sally Dormer, the poor woman that's in a consumption, and
-that you and her ladyship are concerned about?"
-
-"Yes."
-
-"Her young brother called the day you came home, and told me the
-doctor had given her over, and she wanted to see you--she was pining
-and fretting because you was away; and she had been a terrible sinner,
-the boy said, and was afeared to meet her God. I meant to tell you the
-first minute I saw you, George; and then I was so glad to see you, and
-that put everything out of my head."
-
-"And kept it out of your head for a week, Lucy--the prayer of a dying
-woman?"
-
-"Ah, now you are angry with me."
-
-"No, no; but I am sorry--very sorry. The poor soul is dead, perhaps.
-I might have been with her at the last hour, and might have given her
-hope and comfort. You should not forget such things as those, Lucy;
-your heart should serve instead of memory when a dying penitent's peace
-is in question."
-
-"Oh, I am a hateful wretch, and I'd sooner you scolded me than not. But
-you had been away so long, and I had fretted about you, and was so glad
-to have you again."
-
-She was in tears, and he held out his hand to her across the table.
-
-"Don't cry, Lucy. Perhaps I do ill to leave you--even in God's service;
-but the call is strong."
-
-He left his thought unspoken. He had been thinking that the man who
-gave himself to the service of Christ should have neither wife nor
-child. The earthly and the heavenly love were not compatible.
-
-"I will go to Sally's garret the first thing to-morrow morning," he
-said. "Please God I may not be too late!"
-
-He was silent for the rest of the meal, and his slumbers were brief and
-perturbed, his fitful sleep haunted by visions of splendour and beauty:
-the brazen duchess, erstwhile maid-of-honour, wife of two husbands,
-radiant and half-naked as the goddess of chastity, with a diamond
-crescent on her brow; and that other woman, whose modest bearing gave
-the grace of purity even to the splendour of her jewels and glittering
-silver gown. Dream faces followed him through the labyrinth of sleep,
-and his last dream was of the nightmare kind. He was in the retreat at
-Fontenoy, fighting at close quarters with a French dragoon, whom he
-knew of a sudden for the foul fiend in person, and that the stake for
-which he fought was Antonia's soul.
-
-"He shall not have her," he cried. "I'd sooner see her another man's
-wife than the devil's prize."
-
-He was awakened by his own voice, in a hoarse, gasping cry, and
-starting up in the broad light of a May morning, looked at his watch,
-and found it was half-past five. He rose quietly, so as not to disturb
-his sleeping wife, and made his morning toilet in a little back room
-that served as his dressing-closet--a Spartan chamber, in which an
-abundance of cold water was his only luxury. He left the house soon
-after six, and walked quickly through the quiet morning streets to the
-pestiferous alley where Sally Dormer lay dying or dead.
-
-She was one of his penitents, a woman who was still young, and had
-once been beautiful, steeped in sin in the very morning of life, in
-the company of thieves and highwaymen, grown prematurely old in a
-profligate career, a courtesan's neglected offspring, and carrying the
-seeds of consumption from her cradle. Her mother had been dead ten
-years; her father had never been known to her; her only relative was
-a boy of eleven, her mother's sole legacy. A sermon of Whitefield's
-preached to thousands of hearers on Kennington Common, in the sultry
-stillness of an August night, had awakened her to the knowledge of sin.
-She was one of the many who went to hear the famous preacher, prompted
-by idle curiosity, and who left him changed and exalted, shuddering
-at the sins of the past, horrified at the perils of the future. That
-wave of penitent feeling might have ebbed as quickly as it rose but for
-George Stobart, who found the sinner while the effect of Whitefield's
-eloquence was new, and completed the work of conversion--a work more
-easily accomplished, perhaps, by reason of Sally Dormer's broken health.
-
-She had been marked for death before that sultry night when she had
-stood under the summer stars, trembling at Whitefield's picture of the
-sinner's doom, pale to the lips as he dwelt on the terrors of hell, and
-God's curse upon the stubborn unbeliever. "All the curses of the law
-belong to you, oh, ye adamantine hearts, that melt not at the name of
-Jesus. Cursed are you when you go out; cursed are you when you come in;
-cursed are your thoughts; cursed are your words; cursed are your deeds!
-Everything you do, say, or think, from morning to night, is only one
-continued series of sin. Awake, awake, thou that sleepest, melt and
-tremble, heart of stone. Look to Him whom thou hast pierced! Look and
-love; look and mourn; look and praise. Though thou art stained with
-sin, and black with iniquity, thy God is yet thy God!"
-
-Stobart had told Antonia of Sally Dormer's condition, and had provided
-by her means for the penitent's comfort in her lingering illness, the
-fatal end of which was obvious, however much her state varied from week
-to week. But he had opposed Antonia's desire to visit the invalid,
-shrinking with actual pain from the idea of any contact between the
-spotless woman and the castaway, who in her remorse for her past life
-was apt to expatiate upon vile experiences.
-
-Five minutes' walk brought Mr. Stobart to a narrow street on the edge
-of the river, a street long given over to the dregs of humanity. The
-houses were old and dilapidated, and several of those on the water-side
-had been shored up at the back with timber supports, moss-grown and
-slimy from the river fog, yet a favourite climbing place for vagabond
-boys, as well as for a colony of starveling rats.
-
-Sally's lodging was on the third story of a corner house, one of the
-oldest and most tumble-down, but also one of the most spacious, having
-formed part of a nobleman's mansion under the Tudor kings, when all the
-river-side was pleasaunce and garden.
-
-The garret occupied the whole of the top floor, under a steeply sloping
-roof, and had two windows, one looking to the street, the other to the
-river. Here Sally had been slowly dying for near half a year, in charge
-of her little brother, and under the supervision of the dispensary
-doctor, who saw her daily.
-
-The house was quiet in the summer morning. The men who had work to do
-had gone about it; the idlers were still in bed; the more respectable
-among the women were occupied with their children or their housework.
-Stobart met no one in the gloom of the rickety staircase, where the
-rotten boards offered numerous pitfalls for the unwary. He was used to
-ruin and decay in that water-side region, and trod carefully. The last
-flight was little better than a ladder, at the top of which he saw the
-garret door ajar, and heard a voice he knew speaking in tones so low
-and gentle that speech seemed a caress.
-
-It was Antonia's voice. She was sitting by Sally Dormer's pillow,
-in all the splendour of white and silver brocade, diamond tiara and
-jewelled stomacher. Her right arm was round the sick woman, and Sally's
-dishevelled head leant against her shoulder.
-
-"Great Heaven, what a change of scene!" he said, as he bent down and
-took Sally's hand. "'Tis not many hours since I saw you at Ranelagh."
-
-"Were _you_ at Ranelagh?"
-
-"At the gate only. I do not enter such paradises. I went there last
-night, after your door was shut in my face for the third time. It
-seemed my only chance of seeing you; and the sight was worth a journey.
-But what madness to come here alone in your finery, to flash jewels
-worth a king's ransom before starving desperadoes! Sure 'twas wilfully
-to provoke danger."
-
-"I am not afraid. My coach brought me to the end of the street, and my
-chair is to fetch me presently. I shall be taken care of, sir, be sure.
-This foolish Sally had set her heart on seeing me in my masquerade
-finery, so I came straight from Ranelagh; and I have been telling Sally
-about the ball and the beauties."
-
-"An edifying discourse, truly!"
-
-"Oh, you shall edify her to your heart's content when I am gone. I have
-been trying to amuse her. I stole those sweetmeats for Harry from the
-royal table"--smiling at the boy, who was sitting on the end of the
-bed, with his mouth full of bonbons. "I smuggled them into my pocket
-while the duke was talking to me."
-
-"I was at Ranelagh once, your ladyship," said Sally, touching the gems
-on Antonia's stomacher one by one with her attenuated finger-tips,
-as if she were counting them, and as if their brilliancy gave her
-pleasure. "'Twas when I was young and lived like a lady. My first
-sweetheart took me there. He was a gentleman then. 'Twas before he took
-to the road. I dream of him often as he was in those days, seven years
-ago. He is changed now, and so am I. Sometimes I can scarce believe we
-are the same flesh and blood. 'Twas a handsome face, a dear face! I
-see it in my dreams every night."
-
-"Sally, Sally, is this the spirit in which to remember your sins?"
-exclaimed Stobart, reprovingly. "See, madam, what mischief your
-mistaken kindness has done."
-
-"No, no, no! My poor Sally is no less a true penitent because her
-thoughts turn for a few moments to the days that are gone. 'Tis a
-fault in your religion, sir, that it is all gloom. Your Master took a
-kinder view of life, and was indulgent to human affections as He was
-pitiful to human pains. Sally has made her peace with God, and believes
-in a happy world where her sins will be forgiven, and she will wear
-the white robe of innocence, and hear the songs of angels round the
-heavenly throne."
-
-"If thou hast indeed assurance of salvation, Sally, thou art happier
-than the great ones of the earth, who wilfully refuse their portion in
-Christ's atoning blood, who can neither realize their own iniquity, nor
-the Redeemer's power to take away their sins," Stobart said gravely.
-
-"'Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow,'"
-murmured Sally, her fingers still wandering about Antonia's jewels,
-touching necklace and tiara, and the raven hair that fell in heavy
-curls about the full white throat.
-
-"How beautiful you are!" she murmured. "If the angels are like you, and
-as kind, how dearly I shall love them! Poor hell-deserving me! _Will_
-they be kind, and never cast my sins in my face, nor draw their skirts
-away from me, and quicken their steps, as I have seen modest women do
-in the streets?"
-
-"We are told that God's angels are much kinder than modest women,
-Sally," Antonia answered, smiling at her as she offered a cup of
-cooling drink to the parched lips.
-
-She had been teaching the eleven-year-old Harry to make lemonade for
-his sick sister. One of the ladies from the infant nursery came in
-every day to make Sally's bed and clean her room, and for the rest the
-precocious little brother, reared in muddle, idleness, and intermittent
-starvation, was much more helpful than a happier child would have been.
-
-"Shall I read to you, Sally?" Stobart asked in his grave voice, seating
-himself in an old rush-bottomed chair at the foot of the bed.
-
-"Oh, sir, pray with me, pray for me! I would rather hear your prayers
-than the book. They do me more good."
-
-Antonia gently withdrew her arm from the sick woman's waist, and
-arranged the pillows at her back--luxurious down pillows supplied from
-the _trop-plein_ of St. James's Square--and rose from her seat by the
-bed.
-
-"Good-bye, Sally," she said, putting on her black domino, which she had
-thrown off at the invalid's request, to exhibit the splendours beneath.
-"I shall come and see you soon again; and I leave you with a good
-friend."
-
-"Oh, my lady, do stop for a bit. I love to have you by my bed; and, oh,
-I want you to hear his prayers. I want you to be justified by faith,
-you who have never sinned."
-
-"Hush, hush, Sally!"
-
-"Who know not sin--like mine. I want you to believe as I do. I want to
-meet you in heaven among the happy souls washed white in the blood of
-the Lamb. Stay and hear him pray."
-
-"I'll stay for a little to please you, Sally; but indeed I am out of
-place here," Antonia said gravely, as she resumed her seat.
-
-Stobart was kneeling at the foot of the bed, his face bent upon his
-clasped hands, and the women had been speaking in almost whispers,
-Sally's voice being weak from illness, and Antonia's lowered in
-sympathy. He looked up presently after a long silence and began his
-prayer. He had been struggling against earthly thoughts, striving for
-that detachment of mind and senses which he had found more and more
-difficult of late, striving to concentrate all his forces of heart and
-intellect upon the dying woman--the newly awakened soul hovering on
-the threshold of eternity. Could there be a more enthralling theme, a
-subject more removed from earthly desires and earthly temptations?
-
-Antonia looked at him with something of awe in her gaze. She had never
-heard him pray. He had argued with her; he had striven his hardest to
-make her think as he thought; but he had never prayed for her. Into
-that holier region, that nearer approach to the God he worshipped, she
-had never passed. The temple doors were shut against so obstinate an
-unbeliever, so hardened a scorner.
-
-His face seemed the face of a stranger, transfigured by that rapture
-of faith in the spirit world, made like to the angels in whose actual
-and everlasting existence this man--this rational, educated Englishman,
-of an over-civilized epoch--firmly believed. He believed, and was made
-happy by his belief. This present life was of no more value to him than
-the dull brown husk of the worm that knows it is to be a butterfly.
-To the Voltairean this thing was wonderful. The very strangeness of
-it fascinated her, and she listened with deepest interest to George
-Stobart's prayer.
-
-His opening invocation had a formal tone. The words came slowly, and
-for some minutes his prayer was woven out of those familiar and moving
-texts he loved, while the thoughts and feelings of the man himself
-rose slowly from the depths of a heart that seemed ice-bound; but the
-man believed in Him to whom he prayed, and presently the ice melted,
-and the fire came, and the speaker forgot all surrounding things--the
-lovely eyes watching him in a grave wonder, the feelings and doubts and
-apprehensions of last night. The earthly fetters fell away from his
-liberated soul, and he was alone with his God, as much alone as Moses
-on the mountain, as Christ in the garden. Then, and then only, the man
-became eloquent. Moving words came from the heart so deeply moved,
-burning words from the spirit on fire with an exalted faith.
-
-Sally Dormer sobbed upon Antonia's breast, the unbeliever looking down
-upon her with a tender pity, glad that the slow and painful passage to
-the grave should be soothed by beautiful fables, by dreams that took
-the sting from death.
-
-Perhaps the thing that moved Antonia most was the unspeakable pity and
-compassion, the love that this man felt for the castaway. She had been
-told that the Oxford Methodists were a sanctimonious, pragmatical sect,
-whose heaven was an exclusive freehold, and who delighted in consigning
-their fellow-creatures to everlasting flames. But here she found
-sympathy with the sinner stronger than abhorrence of the sin. And her
-reason--that reason of which she was so proud--told her that with such
-a sinner none but an enthusiast could have prevailed. It needed the
-fiery speech of a Whitefield, the passionate appeal of an impassioned
-orator, to awaken a soul so dead.
-
-"'Awake, thou that sleepest,'" cries the Church to the heathen; but if
-the Church that calls is a formal, unloving, half-somnolent Church,
-what chance of awakening?
-
-The great Revival had been the work of a handful of young men--men whom
-the Church might have kept had her rulers been able to gauge their
-power, but who had been sent into the fields to carry on their work of
-conversion as their Master was sent before them.
-
-Antonia was no nearer belief in Stobart's creed than she had been
-yesterday; but she was impressed by the sincerity of the man, the
-vitality of an unquestioning faith.
-
-He was interrupted in the midst of an impassioned sentence by a
-startling appearance. The lattice facing the river had been left open
-to the balmy morning air. The casement rattled suddenly, and a pair of
-hands appeared clutching the sill, followed almost instantly by the
-vision of a ghastly face with starting eyeballs and panting mouth; and
-then a slenderly built man scrambled through the opening, and dropped
-head foremost into the room, breathless, and speechless for the moment.
-
-George Stobart started to his feet.
-
-"What are you doing here, fellow?" he exclaimed angrily.
-
-The man took no notice of the question, but flung himself on his
-knees by the bed, and grasped Sally's hand. His clothes were torn and
-mud-stained, one of his coat-sleeves was ripped from wrist to shoulder.
-Great beads of sweat rolled down his ashen face.
-
-"Hide me, hide me, Sally," he gasped hoarsely. "If ever you loved me,
-save me from the gallows. Hide me somewhere behind your bed--in your
-closet--anywhere. The constables are after me. It's a hanging business."
-
-"Oh, Jack, I thought you was in Georgia--safe, and leading an honest
-life."
-
-"I've come back. I'm one of them that can't be honest. They're after
-me. I gave them the slip on the bridge--ran for my life--climbed the
-old timbers. Hell, how slippery they are! They'll be round the corner
-directly. They'll search every house in the street."
-
-He was looking about the room with strained eyes, searching for some
-hole to hide in. There was a curious kind of closet in the slope of
-the rafters, filling an acute angle. He was making for this, then
-stopped and ran to the window facing the river.
-
-"Get out of this, fellow," said Stobart. "This woman has done with the
-companions of sin. Go!"
-
-"No, no," cried Antonia; "you shall not give him over to those
-bloodhounds."
-
-"What, madam, would you make yourself the abettor of crime--come
-between a felon and the law which protects honest people from thieves
-and murderers?"
-
-"I hate your laws--your inexorable judges, your murdering laws, which
-will hang a child that never knew right from wrong for a stolen
-sixpence."
-
-"They are round the corner; they are looking at the house," gasped the
-fugitive, moving from the window and looking round the room in a wild
-despair.
-
-He had been caught in that very house years before, when he and Sally
-Dormer lodged there together, and when he was one of the luckiest
-professionals on the Dover road, with a couple of good horses, and a
-genius for getting clear off after a job. He had escaped by the skin of
-his teeth on that occasion, the witnesses for identification breaking
-down in the inquiry before the magistrate. He had saved his neck and
-some of the profits from an audacious attack on the Dover mail, and
-had gone to America in a shipload of mixed company, swearing to turn
-honest and cheat Jack Ketch. But he could as easily have turned wild
-Indian; and after a spirited career in Georgia he had got himself back
-to London, and being in low water, without means to buy himself a good
-horse, had sunk to the meaner status of foot-pad, and this morning had
-been concerned with three others in an attempt to stop a great lady's
-coach on the way from Ranelagh.
-
-A chosen few among the most dissipated of the company had kept the ball
-going till seven o'clock, and had gone to breakfast and cards after
-seven--and it was one of these great ladies whose chariot had been
-stopped in the loneliest part of the road, between Chelsea and the Five
-Fields.
-
-Antonia was looking out of the window that overhung the street. The
-thief made a rush towards the same window, and stopped midway, staring
-at this queen-like figure in mute surprise. Her beauty, her sumptuous
-dress and jewels made him almost think this dazzling appearance the
-hallucination of his own distraught brain. "Is it real?" he muttered,
-and then went back to the other casement, and looked out again.
-
-"They are coming," he said in a dull voice. "'Tis no use to hide in
-that rat-hole. They'd have me out in a trice. The game's up, Sally. I
-shall dance upon nothing at Tyburn before the month is out."
-
-He looked to the priming of a pair of pistols which he carried in a
-leather belt. They were ready for work. He took his stand behind the
-garret door. The first man who entered that room would be accounted
-for. They would not risk an ascent upon those slippery old beams which
-he had climbed for sport many a time in his boyhood; they would make
-their entrance from the street. Well, there was some hope of giving
-them trouble on the top flight of stairs, almost as steep as a ladder,
-and rotten enough to let them down headlong with a little extra impetus
-from above.
-
-"They are not round yet," cried Antonia, snatching up her black
-silk domino from the chair where it hung. "Put on this, sir. So,
-so"--wrapping the voluminous cloak round the thief's thin frame. "Don't
-cry, Sally; we'll save him if we can, for your sake; and he'll turn
-honest for your sake. So; the cloak covers your feet. Why, I doubt I
-am the taller. Now for the mask," adjusting the little loup, which
-fastened with a spring, over the man's face, and the silk hood over his
-head.
-
-"Come, Mr. Stobart, my chair is at the door," she said breathlessly.
-"Take this poor wretch downstairs, bundle him into the chair, and bid
-my servants carry him to my house, and hide him there. They can send a
-hackney coach to fetch me. Quick, quick!" she cried, stamping her foot;
-"quick, sir, if you would save a life."
-
-Stobart looked from the masked figure to Antonia irresolutely, and then
-looked out of the river window. There was a mob hurrying along the
-muddy shore at the heels of three Bow Street runners, who were nearing
-the network of timbers below. There was no time for scruples. Five
-minutes would give the pursuers time to come round to the front of the
-house.
-
-A wailing voice came from the bed--
-
-"Oh, sir, save him, for Christ's sake! He was my first sweetheart; and
-he has always been kind to me. Give him this one chance."
-
-The fugitive had not waited, but had scrambled downstairs in his
-strange disguise, stumbling every now and then when his feet caught in
-the trailing domino.
-
-Antonia, watching from the window, saw him dash into the street,
-open the door of the sedan--'twas not the first he had opened as
-violently--and disappear inside it.
-
-The chairmen stood dumbfounded; and had not Stobart appeared on the
-instant to give them their lady's orders, might have raised an alarm.
-Drilled to obedience, however, the men took up their load in prompt and
-orderly style, and the sedan, with two running footmen guarding it,
-turned one corner of the street a minute before the constables came
-round the other.
-
-It was an unspeakable mortification for these gentlemen when they found
-their bird flown, how they knew not, or, indeed, whether he had ever
-been in the house, which they searched from cellar to garret, giving as
-much trouble as they could to all its inhabitants. It was in vain that
-they questioned Sally Dormer, who swore it was years since she had set
-eyes on her old friend Jack Parsons. It shocked Stobart to see that
-this brand plucked from the burning could be so ready with a lie, and
-that the two women rejoiced in the escape of Mr. Parsons almost as if
-he had been a Christian martyr saved from the lions.
-
-"He is a man; and 'twas a life--a life like yours or mine--that we were
-saving," Antonia said by-and-by, when he expressed surprise at her
-conduct. "'Tis a thing a woman does instinctively. I think I would do
-as much to save a sheep from the slaughter-house. 'Twas a happy thought
-that brought the sedan to my mind. I remembered Lord Nithisdale's
-escape in '15."
-
-"Lady Nithisdale was saving her husband's life by that stratagem."
-
-"And I was saving a thief whose face I had never seen till five minutes
-before I fastened my mask upon it. But I saw a man trembling for his
-life, like a bird in a net; and I remembered how savage our law is, and
-how light judge and jury make of a fellow-creature's doom. I shall
-pack the rascal off to America again, and dare him to do ill there
-after his escape. You must help me to get him down the river this
-night, Mr. Stobart, and stowed away upon the first ship that sails from
-Gravesend."
-
-"I must, must I?"
-
-"If you refuse, I must employ Goodwin, and that might be dangerous."
-
-"I cannot refuse you. Can you doubt that I admire your kindness, your
-generous sympathy with creatures that suffer? But I tremble at the
-thought of a nature so impulsive, a heart so easily melted."
-
-"Oh, it can be hard on occasion," she said proudly, remembering the
-lovers who had sighed at her feet and been sent away despairing, since
-her reign in London had begun, her supremacy as a beauty and a fortune.
-
-Having consented to help in her work of mercy, Stobart performed his
-task faithfully. He had allies among the vagabond classes whose honour
-he could rely on, and with the help of two stalwart boatmen he conveyed
-Jack Parsons to Erith, and saw him on board a trading vessel, carrying
-a score or so of emigrants and a freight of miscellaneous merchandise
-to Boston, which by good luck was to sail with the next favourable
-wind. He provided the fugitive with proper clothing and necessaries for
-the voyage, which might last months, and took pains to clothe him like
-a small tradesman's son; and as such he was shipped, with his passage
-paid, and the promise of a five-pound note, to be given him by the
-captain before he landed in America, to maintain him till he got work.
-
-"If the lady who saved you from the gallows should hear of you
-by-and-by as leading an honest life, I dare say she will help you to
-better yourself out yonder; but if you fall back into sin you will
-deserve the worst that can happen to a hardened reprobate;" and with
-these words of counsel, a New Testament, and Charles Wesley's hymn
-book, Mr. Stobart took leave of Antonia's _protege_, who sobbed out
-broken words of gratitude to him and to the good lady, which sounded as
-if they came from the heart.
-
-"I had my chance before, sir, and I threw it away--but God's curse
-blight me if I forget what that woman did for me."
-
-Stobart wrote to Lady Kilrush, with an account of what he had done, but
-it was some days before he saw her. He had to take up the thread of
-his mission work, and had to wait upon Mr. Wesley more than once--to
-discuss his philanthropic labours--at his house by the Foundery. He
-saw Sally Dormer every day, and was touched by the poor creature's
-adoration of Antonia, whom she now regarded as a heaven-sent angel.
-
-"Oh, sir, you told me once that her ladyship was an infidel; but,
-indeed, sir, whatever she says, whatever she thinks, you cannot believe
-that such a creature will be shut out from heaven. Sure, sir, heaven
-must be full of women like her, and God must love them, because they
-are good."
-
-"No, Sally, God cannot love those who deny Christ."
-
-"But indeed she does not. While you was away, when I was so ill,
-I asked her to read the Bible to me, and she let me choose the
-chapters--the Sermon on the Mount, and those chapters you love in St.
-John's Gospel--and she told me she loved Jesus--loved His words of
-kindness and mercy, His goodness to the sick and the poor, and to the
-little children."
-
-"All that is no use, Sally, without faith in His atoning blood, without
-the conviction of sin, or the belief in saving grace. Yet I can scarce
-think that so good a woman as Lady Kilrush will be left for ever under
-the dominion of Satan. Faith will come to her some day--with the coming
-of sorrow."
-
-"Yes, yes, it will come; and she will shine like a star in heaven. God
-cannot do without such angels round His throne."
-
-Stobart reproved her gently for words that went too near blasphemy. He
-was melted by her affection for the generous friend who had done so
-much to brighten her declining days.
-
-"She came to see me very often while you was away," Sally said; "and
-she paid the nurse-keeper to come every day, and sent me soups and
-jellies and all sorts of good things by a light-porter every morning.
-And she talks to me as if I was an honest woman. She never reminds me
-what a sinner I have been--or even that I'm not a lady."
-
- * * * * *
-
-It was more than a week after the scene in Sally Dormer's garret, and
-the ship that carried Mr. John Parsons was beating round the Start
-Point, when George Stobart called in St. James's Square early in the
-afternoon.
-
-The dining-room door stood wide open as he crossed the hall, and he saw
-a long table strewed with roses and covered with gold plate, and the
-_debris_ of a fashionable breakfast, chocolate-pots, champagne-glasses,
-carbonadoed hams, chickens and salads, jellies and junkets and creams.
-
-"Her ladyship has been entertaining company," he said, with a sense of
-displeasure of which he felt ashamed, knowing how unreasonable it was.
-Had she not a right to live her own life, she who had never professed
-Christianity, least of all his kind of Christianity, which meant total
-renunciation of all self-indulgence, purple and fine linen, banquets
-and dances, splendid furniture and rich food?
-
-"Yes, sir, her ladyship has been giving a breakfast-party to the Duke
-of Cumberland," replied the footman, swelling with pride. "Eight and
-twenty sat down--mostly dukes and duchesses--and Mr. Handel played on
-the 'arpsikon for an hour after breakfast. His royal 'ighness loves
-music," added the lackey, condescendingly, as he ushered Mr. Stobart
-into the library.
-
-"Was Lord Dunkeld among the company?" Stobart asked.
-
-"Yes, sir."
-
-Stobart had come there charged with a mission, a self-imposed
-duty, which had been in his mind--paramount over all other
-considerations--ever since that night at Ranelagh, when he had seen
-Antonia and Lord Dunkeld together. Again and again he went over the
-same chain of reasoning, with always the same result. He saw her in
-the flower of youth, beautiful and impulsive, with a wild courage that
-scorned consequences, ready to break the law if her heart prompted;
-and he told himself that for such a woman marriage with a good man was
-the only safeguard from the innumerable perils of a woman's life. In
-her case marriage was inevitable. The worldlings would not cease from
-striving for so rich a prize. If she did not marry Dunkeld, she would
-marry some one else, his inferior, perhaps, in every virtue. It was his
-duty--his, as her friend, her earnest well-wisher--to persuade her to
-so suitable an alliance.
-
-Having marked out this duty to be done, he was in a fever of anxiety
-to get his task accomplished. He was like a martyr, who knows death
-inevitable, and is eager for the faggot and the stake. That poignant
-eagerness was so strange a feeling--a fire of enthusiasm that was
-almost agony.
-
-He walked up and down the library, agitated and impatient, his hands
-clasped above his head. He was wondering how she would receive his
-advice. She would be angry, perhaps; and would resent the impertinence
-of unsought counsel.
-
-The windows were open, and the room was full of flowers and soft vernal
-air. A Kirkman harpsichord stood near the fireplace, scattered with
-loose sheets of music from the newest opera and oratorio. A guitar hung
-by a broad blue ribbon across an armchair. Light and trivial romances
-and modish magazines lay about the table; and another table was covered
-with baskets of shells and a half-finished picture-frame in shell-work.
-A white cockatoo cackled and screamed on his perch by a window. Nothing
-was wanting to mark the lady of fashion.
-
-She came in, beaming with smiles, in the splendour of gala clothes, a
-sky-blue poplin sacque, covered with Irish lace, over a primrose satin
-petticoat powdered with silver shamrocks. Her hair was rolled back
-from her forehead, a little cap like a gauze butterfly was perched on
-the top of her head, and gauze lappets were crossed under her chin,
-and pinned with a single brilliant. The little cap gave a piquancy
-to her beauty, a dainty touch of the _soubrette_, which Boucher has
-immortalized in his portrait of the Pompadour.
-
-"Well, sir," she cried gaily, making him a low curtsey, "we have broken
-the law between us, and I thank you heartily for your share in the
-offence against its majesty. Would to God that Admiral Byng could have
-been saved as easily!"
-
-"You have a generous heart, madam--a heart too easily moved, perhaps,
-by human miseries, and I tremble for its impulses, while I admire its
-warmth and courage. You have never been absent from my thoughts since
-that morning in Sally's garret. Indeed, what man living could forget a
-scene so incongruous--yet--so beautiful?"
-
-His voice faltered towards the end, and he leant against the late
-lord's tall armchair.
-
-"You have not been kind in keeping away from me so long, when I was
-dying to give expression to my gratitude."
-
-"Be sure my recompense was having obliged you. 'Twas superfluous to
-thank me. I have been very busy. I had arrears of work, and I knew all
-_your_ hours were engaged."
-
-"Sure there must always be something to do in a town full of people."
-
-She was playing with the great white bird, smoothing his fluffy
-topknot, ruffling the soft saffron feathers round his neck, tempting
-him with the pink tips of taper fingers, flashing rose-coloured light
-from her diamond rings, whose splendour covered the slender hoop of
-gold with which Kilrush married her.
-
-"You have been entertaining the Duke of Cumberland, I hear."
-
-"Billy the Butcher! That's what my father and I used to call him, when
-we concocted Jacobite paragraphs for _Lloyd's Evening Post_. Yes, Mr.
-Stobart, I have been entertaining royalty for the first time in my
-life. The honour was not my own seeking either, for his royal highness
-challenged me to invite him."
-
-"He would not be so much out of the fashion as not to be among your
-adorers."
-
-"That is too prettily said for an Oxford Methodist. 'Tis a reminiscence
-of the soldier's manners. When the duke led me out for the second
-dance at the Duchess of Norfolk's ball he was pleased to compliment
-my housekeeping. 'I hear your ladyship's is the pleasantest house in
-town,' he said, 'but am I never to know more of it than hearsay?' On
-which I dropped my best curtsey, and told him that my house with all
-it contained was at his feet, and I had not finished my chocolate next
-morning before his royal highness's aide-de-camp was announced, who
-came to tell me his master would accept any invitation I was civil
-enough to send him."
-
-"And this trivial conquest made you happy?"
-
-"Sure it pleased me as any other toy would have done. 'Twas something
-to think about--whom I should invite--how I should dress my table. I
-strewed it from end to end with cut roses, brought up from Essex this
-morning, with the dew on their petals. Their perfume had a flavour of
-the East--some valley in Cashmere--till a succession of smoking roasts
-polluted the atmosphere. I had a mind to imitate mediaeval feasts, and
-give the prince a pie full of live singing birds, but one hardly knows
-how the birds might behave when the pie was cut."
-
-"You had one sensible man among your guests, I doubt."
-
-"_Merci du compliment--pour les autres_. Pray who was this paragon?"
-
-"Lord Dunkeld."
-
-"You know Lord Dunkeld?"
-
-"He was my intimate friend some years ago."
-
-"Before you left off having any friends but Methodists?"
-
-"Before I knew that life was too serious a thing for trifling
-friendships."
-
-"I am glad you approve of Dunkeld. Of all my modish friends he is the
-one I like best."
-
-"Is it not something better than liking? Dear Lady Kilrush, accept the
-counsel of a friend whose heart is tortured by the consciousness of
-your unprotected position, the infinite perils that surround youth and
-beauty in a world given over to folly--a world which the most appalling
-convulsion of nature and the sudden death of thousands of unprepared
-sinners could not awaken from its dream of pleasure. I see you in your
-grace and loveliness, of a character too generous to suspect evil,
-hemmed round with profligates, the companion of unfaithful wives and
-damaged misses. And since I cannot win you for Christ, since you are
-deaf and cold to the Saviour's voice, I would at least see you guarded
-by a man of honour--a man who knows the world he lives in, and would
-know how to protect an adored wife from its worst dangers."
-
-"I hardly follow the drift of this harangue, sir."
-
-"Marry Dunkeld. You could not choose a better man, and I know that he
-adores you."
-
-"You are vastly kind, sir, to interest yourself in my matrimonial
-projects. But there is more of the old woman--the spinster aunt--in
-this unasked advice than I expected from so serious a person as Mr.
-Stobart."
-
-"I fear you are offended."
-
-He had grown pale to the lips as he talked to her. His whole
-countenance, and the thrilling note in his voice betrayed the intensity
-of his feeling.
-
-"No, I am only amused. But I regret that you should have wasted trouble
-on my affairs. It is true that Lord Dunkeld has honoured me with the
-offer of his hand on more than one occasion, but he has had his answer;
-and he is so sensible a man that in rejecting him as a lover I have not
-lost him as a friend."
-
-"He will offer again, and you will accept him."
-
-"Never!" she exclaimed with sudden energy, dropping her light,
-half-mocking tone, and looking at him with flashing eyes. "I shall
-never take a second husband, sir. You may be sure of that."
-
-A crimson fire flashed across his pallid face, and slowly faded. He
-drew a deep breath, and there was a silence of moments that seemed long.
-
-"You--you--must have some reason for such a strange resolve."
-
-"Yes, I have my reason."
-
-"May I know it?" he asked, trembling with emotion.
-
-"No, sir, neither you nor any one else. 'Tis my own secret. And now
-let us talk of other matters. It was on your conscience to give me a
-spinster aunt's advice. You have done your duty very prettily, and your
-conscience can be at rest."
-
-He stood looking at her in a strange silence. The beautiful face
-which had fired with a transient passion was now only pensive. She
-seated herself in her favourite chair by the open window, took up
-a tapestry-frame, and began to work in minute stitches that needed
-exquisite precision of eye and hand.
-
-How much of his future life or earthly happiness he would have given
-to fathom her thoughts! He had come there to persuade her to marry; he
-had convinced himself that she ought to marry; and yet his heart was
-beating with a wild gladness. He felt like a wretch who had escaped the
-gallows. The rope had been round his neck when the reprieve came.
-
-"Tell me about your night-school," she said, without looking up from
-her work. "Do the numbers go on increasing?"
-
-"I--I--can't talk of the school to-day," he said. "I have a world of
-business on my hands. Good-bye."
-
-He left her on the instant without offering his hand, hurried through
-the hall, and opened the great door before the porter, somnolent after
-the morning's bustle, could struggle out of his leathern chair.
-
-"Never, never, never more must I cross that threshold," he told himself
-as he walked away.
-
-He stopped on the other side of the road, and looked back at the great
-handsome house, so dull externally, with its long rows of uniform
-windows, its massive pediment and heavy iron railings, with the tall
-extinguishers on each side of the door in a flourish of hammered iron.
-
-"If I ever enter that house again I shall deserve to perish
-everlastingly," he thought.
-
-'Twas four o'clock, and the sun was blazing, a midsummer afternoon in
-early May. He walked to his house in Lambeth like a man in a dream,
-from which he seemed to wake with a startled air when his wife ran out
-into the passage to welcome him.
-
-"How pale you look," she said. "Is it one of your old headaches?"
-
-"No, no; 'tis nothing but the sudden heat. You are pale enough
-yourself, poor little woman! Come, Lucy, give me an early tea, and I'll
-take you and the boy for a jaunt up the river."
-
-"Oh, George, how good you are! 'Tis near a year since you gave us a
-treat, or yourself a holiday."
-
-"I have worked too hard, perhaps, and might have given you more
-pleasure. 'Tis difficult not to be selfish, even in trying to do good."
-
-"I'll have tea ready in a jiffy, and Georgie dressed. I've been sitting
-at the window watching the boats, and wishing ever so to be on the
-river."
-
-"Thou shalt have thy wish for this once, love," he said gently.
-
-He was silent all through the simple meal, eating hardly anything,
-though 'twas the first food he had tasted since a seven-o'clock
-breakfast. He found himself wondering at the sunshine and the
-brightness of things, like a man who has come away from a newly filled
-grave--a grave where all his hopes and affections lie buried.
-
-Lucy and her boy sat opposite him, and in the gaiety of their own
-prattle were unaware of his silence. The boy was three years old, and
-of an inexhaustible loquacity, having been encouraged to babble in
-Lucy's lonely hours. The sweet little voice ran on like a ripple of
-music, his mother hushing him every now and then, while Stobart sat
-with his head leaning on his hand, thinking, thinking, thinking.
-
-They went up the river to Putney in a skiff, Stobart rowing, and it was
-one of the happiest evenings in Lucy's life. She had occupation enough
-for all the way in pointing out the houses and churches and gardens to
-Georgie, who asked incessant questions. She did not see the rower's
-pallid brow, with its look of infinite pain.
-
-They landed at Fulham, moored the boat at the bottom of some wooden
-steps, and sat on a green bank, while Georgie picked the flowers off
-the blossoming sedges. Stobart sat with his elbows on his knees, gazing
-at the opposite shore, the rustic street climbing up the hill, and
-white cottages scattered far apart against a background of meadowland
-golden with marsh marigolds.
-
-"Has rowing made your head worse, George?" his wife asked timidly.
-
-"No, dear, no! There is nothing the matter"--holding out his hand to
-her. "Only I have been thinking--thinking of you and the boy, and of
-your lives in that dull house by the river. It is dull, I'm afraid."
-
-"Never, when you are at home," she answered quickly. "You are very
-studious, and you don't talk much; but I am happy, quite happy, when
-you are sitting there. To have your company is all I desire."
-
-"I have been a neglectful husband of late, Lucy. Those poor wretches in
-the Marsh have taken too much of my time and thought. Whatever a man's
-work in the world may be, he ought to remember his home."
-
-"It is only when you are away--quite away, on those long journeys with
-Mr. Wesley."
-
-"I will give up those journeys. Let the men who have neither wives nor
-children carry on _that_ work. Would you like me to take Orders, Lucy?"
-
-"Take Orders?"
-
-"Enter the Church of England as an ordained priest. I might settle down
-then, get a London living. I have friends who could help me. It would
-not be to break with Wesley; he is a staunch Churchman."
-
-"Yes, yes, I should love to see you in a real pulpit in a handsome
-black gown. I should love you to be a clergyman. All the town would
-flock to hear you, and people would talk of you as they do of Mr.
-Whitefield."
-
-"No, no. I have not the metal to forge his thunderbolts. But we can
-think about it. I mean to be a kinder husband, Lucy. Yes, my poor girl,
-a kinder husband. Sure ours was a love match, was it not?"
-
-"I loved you from the moment I heard your voice, that night at the
-Foundery Chapel, when I woke out of a swoon and heard you speaking to
-me. And in all those happy days at Clapham, when I used to tremble at
-the sound of your footstep, and when you taught me to read good books,
-an ignorant girl like me, and to behave like a lady. Oh, George, you
-have always, always been good to me."
-
-The sun set, and the stars shone out of the deep serene as they went
-home, and a profound peace fell upon George Stobart's melancholy soul.
-To do his duty! That was the only thing that remained to be done. He
-understood John Wesley's warning better now. His soul had been in peril
-unspeakable. He loved her, he loved her, that queen among women--loved
-her with a passion measured by her own perfections. As she outshone
-every woman he had ever seen in loveliness, mental and physical, so his
-love for her surpassed any love he had ever imagined.
-
-And to-day, when she had looked at him with so glorious a light in her
-eyes, when she had declared she would never marry, and confessed that
-she had a secret--a secret she would tell to none--he had trembled with
-an exquisite joy, an overpowering fear, as the conviction that she
-loved him flashed into his mind.
-
-Why not? 'Twas hardly strange that the flame which had kindled in
-his breast had found a responsive warmth in hers. They had been so
-much to each other, had lived in such harmony of desires and hopes,
-each equally earnest in the endeavour to redress some of the manifold
-wrongs of the world. She had flung herself heart and soul into his
-philanthropic work, and here they had ever been at one. Her presence,
-her voice, her sweetness and grace had become the first necessity
-of his life, the one thing without which life was worthless. Was it
-strange if he had become more to her than a common friend? Was it
-strange if, after giving him her friendship, she had given him her
-heart?
-
-But, oh, how deep a fall for the man who had set his hopes on high
-things, who had put on the whole armour of faith, had called himself
-a soldier and servant of Christ, who had looked back with loathing
-at the folly and the impiety of his boyhood and youth, and had set
-his face towards the City of the Saints, scorning earthly things! How
-deep a fall for the man who had cried with St. Paul, "For me to live
-is Christ, to die is gain"! How deep a fall to know himself the slave
-of a forbidden love, possessed heart and brain and in every fibre of
-his being by a passion stronger than any feeling of his unregenerate
-youth! Well, he had to fight the good fight, and to conquer man's most
-implacable enemy, sin. A year ago he had thought himself so safe,
-so far advanced on the narrow path, having only to reproach himself
-sometimes for a certain coldness in private prayer; successful in his
-mission work; happy in a humble marriage; having surrendered all things
-that worldlings care for in order to lead the Christian life, and
-having found a passionless peace as his reward.
-
-Never more, of his free will, would he see this daughter of Babylon,
-this enchanting heathen, who had cast her fatal spell around his life.
-It might not be possible to avoid chance meetings in those miserable
-abodes where it was her whim to play the angel of pity; but doubtless
-that caprice of a fine lady would pass, and Lambeth Marsh would know
-her no more.
-
-She wrote to him about a week after his last visit to St. James's
-Square.
-
-"Why do you not come to take a dish of tea with me? My friends are
-leaving for their country seats, and I have been alone several
-afternoons, expecting you. Were you affronted with me for calling you a
-spinster aunt? Sure our friendship, and my esteem for your goodness,
-should excuse that careless impertinence. I enclose a bank bill which
-I pray you to spend as quickly as possible in buying clothing and
-shoes for the little ragged wretches I met coming out of your school
-yesterday. Ah, when will there be such schools all over England, in
-every city, in every village? Sure some day the country will take a
-lesson from such men as you and Mr. Wesley, and the poor will be better
-cared for than they are now."
-
-The easy assurance of her letter surprised him. Every line indicated
-the woman of the world, the finished coquette. He replied coldly,
-thanking her for her bounty, and giving his absorbing occupations as a
-reason for not waiting upon her.
-
-They met a week later in Sally Dormer's garret; but Antonia was leaving
-as he entered, and he did nothing to detain her. He had a brief vision
-of her beauty, more simply dressed than usual, in a black silk mantle
-and hood over a grey tabinet gown. He came upon her some days after in
-a shed at the back of the Vauxhall Pottery, entertaining a large party
-of pottery girls at supper, herself the merriest of the band. She had
-her woman Sophy to help her, and Mrs. Patty Granger, and he had never
-seen a more jovial feast. There was a long table upon trestles, loaded
-with joints and poultry, pies and puddings, and great copper tankards
-of small beer; at which feast two reluctant footmen, with disgusted
-countenances, assisted in undress livery, while an old blind fiddler
-sat in a corner playing the gayest tunes in his _repertoire_.
-
-Antonia begged Mr. Stobart to stay and keep them company, but he
-declined. It was his class night, he told her, and he had his adult
-scholars waiting for him hard by. He carried away the vision of her
-radiant countenance, supremely happy in the happiness she had made for
-others. Was it possible better to realize the lessons of the Divine
-Altruist? And yet she was no more a Christian than the profligate
-Bolingbroke or the cynic Voltaire.
-
-He was consistent and conscientious in his determination to avoid her,
-so far as possible without incivility. The town was beginning to thin,
-and he heard with relief that she was going on a visit to the Duchess
-of Portland at Bulstrode, near Maidenhead. In the autumn she was to be
-at Tunbridge Wells, to drink the waters, a business of six weeks.
-
-"My physician orders it, though I swear I have nothing the matter with
-me," she told him, at one of their chance meetings in the Marsh. "'Tis
-good for my nerves to waste six weeks in a place where there is a dance
-every night, and where I shall spend every day in a crowd."
-
-In another of these casual meetings she upbraided him for having
-deserted her.
-
-"I have been more than usually busy," he said. "My schools are growing,
-and the dispensary is daily becoming a more serious business."
-
-"Everything with you is serious; but you cannot be so seriously busy as
-not to have leisure for a dish of tea in St. James's Square once in a
-fortnight. Sure you know my heart is with you in all your good works,
-and that I like to hear about them."
-
-"Indeed, madam, I am eternally grateful for your sympathy and your
-help; but of late I have had no leisure. My wife's spirits were
-suffering from a close London house, and I devote every hour I can
-steal from my work to giving her change of air."
-
-"I am glad to hear it. Yes, Mrs. Stobart must miss your pretty garden
-at Sheen."
-
- * * * * *
-
-That month of May seemed to George Stobart to contain the longest
-and weariest days and hours he had ever known. The weather was
-close and oppressive, the rank odours of the Marsh were at their
-worst; jail fever, small-pox, putrid throats, all the most dreaded
-forms of infectious sickness hung heavy over the dwellers in that
-poverty-stricken settlement--the pottery hands, the glass-polishers,
-the lace-workers, the industrious and the idle, the honest and the
-criminal classes whom fate had herded together, unwilling neighbours in
-an equality of poverty.
-
-He worked among the sick and the dying with unflagging zeal; he gave
-them the best of himself, all that he had of faith in God and Christ,
-sustaining their spirits in the last awful hours of consciousness
-by his own exaltation. He gave them inexhaustible pity and love,
-the compassion that is only possible to a man of keen imagination
-and quick sympathies. He understood their inarticulate sorrows, and
-was able to lift their minds above the actual to the unseen, and to
-convince them of an eternity of bliss that should pay them for a life
-of misery--promise more easy to believe now that all life's miseries
-belonged to the past, and the long agony of living was dwarfed by the
-nearness of death.
-
-He followed Sally Dormer to her last resting-place in an obscure
-graveyard, and he provided for her brother's maintenance in the family
-of a hard-working carpenter, to whom the boy was to be apprenticed
-in due time. He had a more personal interest in this little lad than
-in his other scholars, remembering Antonia's interest in the dead
-woman, her almost sisterly affection for that fallen sister. The boy
-was intelligent, and took kindly to the simple tasks set him at Mr.
-Stobart's school, where the teaching went no further than reading,
-writing, and cyphering, and where the founder's sole ambition was to
-rear a generation of believing Christians, steeped, from the very
-dawn of intelligence, in the knowledge of Christ's life and example.
-He relied on those gospel lessons of universal charity and brotherly
-love, as an enduring influence over the minds and actions of his
-pupils, and hoped that from his school-rooms--some of them no better
-than an outhouse or a roomy garret, the humble predecessors of those
-ragged schools which were to begin their blessed work half a century
-later--the gospel light would radiate far and wide across the gloom of
-outcast lives and homes now ruled by Satan.
-
-In his devotion to his mission work Mr. Stobart had not forgotten
-his promise to make his wife's life happier. He spent all the finest
-afternoons in rural airings with Lucy and little George; sometimes on
-the river, sometimes taking a little journey by coach as far as Sutton,
-or Ewell, or to Hampton Court; sometimes walking to Clapham Common, or
-as far as Dulwich, through lanes where the hedgerow oaks and elms hung
-a canopy of translucent green over the grassy path, and where they came
-every now and then on a patch of copse or a little wood, in which it
-was pleasant to sit and rest while the boy played about among the young
-fern in a rapture of delight.
-
-He lavished kindness upon his wife and child. Never had there been
-a more indulgent father or a more attentive husband. Lucy, whose
-flower-like prettiness had faded a little in the smoke from the
-potteries and the Vauxhall glass-works, recovered her rose-and-lily
-tints in these excursions, and was full of grateful affection which
-touched her husband's heart. There was something pathetic in her
-accepting kindness as a favour which another woman would have claimed
-by the divine right of a wife. It pleased him to see her happy; and his
-conscience, which had been cruelly disturbed of late, was now at rest.
-But even that inward peace could not cure the dull aching of his heart,
-which ached he scarce knew why; or it might be that he stubbornly
-refused to know. He would have told himself, if he could, that the pain
-was physical, and that the weariness of life which followed him through
-every scene, and most of all in this sweet summer _idlesse_, was a
-question of bodily health, a lassitude for which a modish physician
-would have ordered "the Bath" or "the Wells."
-
-Oh, the mental oppression of those May afternoons, the dull misery,
-vague, undefined, but intolerable, in which every sound jarred, even
-the silver-sweet of his child's joyous voice, in which every sight was
-steeped in gloom, even the lovely river, rose-flushed and smiling in
-the evening light!
-
-He was miserable, and he tried to find the cause of his misery in
-things which lay remote from the one image he dared not contemplate.
-He told himself that the burden under which he ached was only the
-monotonous quiet of his days--the want of strong interests and active
-efforts such as kept John Wesley's mind in the freshness of a perpetual
-youth. _That_ was the true fountain of Jouvence--action, progress,
-the consciousness of struggle and victory. He had tasted the joy of
-successful effort in his itinerant preaching--the uncouth mob crowding
-as to a show at a fair, the insulting assaults of semi-savages, the
-triumph when he had subjugated those rough natures, when by the mere
-force of his eloquence, by the magnetism of his own strong faith, he
-compelled the railers to listen, and saw ribald jokes change to eager
-interest, scorn give place to awe, and tears roll down the faces that
-sin had stained and blemished. All this had been to him as the wine of
-life; and this he had promised to renounce in order that he might do
-his duty as that commonplace domestic animal, a kind husband.
-
-Sitting on the river bank in the summer quiet, in the rosy afterglow,
-amidst tall sedges and wild flowers that love the river, with his child
-prattling at his knee, playing with his watch-ribbon, asking questions
-that were never answered, and his wife seated at his side supremely
-content in having won him to give her so much of his company, George
-Stobart meditated upon the great mistake of his life--his marriage!
-
-He remembered how lovely a creature the printer's daughter had seemed
-to him in her ecstasy of faith, how divine a thing the soul newly
-awakened to a sense of sin, and a desire for saving grace. His heart
-had gone out to her in an overwhelming wave of enthusiasm, a feeling
-so exalted, so different from any passion of his unregenerate years,
-that he had welcomed it as the one pure and perfect love of his life.
-He thought God had given him this friendless, ill-used girl to be his
-helpmeet, the sharer of all his aspirations, his lifelong labours in
-the service of Christ, as of that impassioned hour in Wesley's Chapel.
-
-Soon, too soon, he had discovered the shallow nature behind that
-hysterical emotion, the tepid piety which alone remained after the
-fervour of newly awakened feelings. Too soon he had found that petty
-interests and trivial domestic cares and joys filled the measure of his
-wife's mind; that she thought more of her tea-trays and her sofa-covers
-than of thousands of Kingswood miners won from Satan to Christ; that
-he must never look to her for sympathy with his highest aspirations,
-hardly for interest in his everyday work among the poor.
-
-When he suggested that she should help in his day nurseries or his
-infant schools, she refused with a shudder, lest she should bring home
-small-pox or scarlet fever to little Georgie. That fear of pestilence
-hung like a funeral pall over Lambeth Marsh; and all his efforts to
-popularize inoculation could do very little against dense ignorance,
-and terror of a preventive measure that seemed as bad as the disease.
-
-"If I've got to have the small-pox anyhow, I'd sooner leave it to
-Providence," was the usual argument.
-
-His marriage, so gravely resolved, with such generous disdain of
-worldly advantage, had not brought him happiness. The fellowship in
-thought and feeling, which is the soul of marriage, was wanting in a
-union that had yet every appearance of domestic affection, and which
-sufficed for the wife's content. She was happy, looking no deeper than
-the surface of things, and finding content in the calm prosperity of
-her life, the absence of poverty and ill-usage. His marriage was a
-mistake, and to the man who had taken upon himself, as he had done,
-the service of Christ's poor, any marriage must needs be a mistake.
-For the itinerant preacher, for the man with a suffering populace
-depending on his care, home ties were fetters that needs must gall. He
-could not serve two masters. He must be a half-hearted philanthropist
-or a neglectful husband; only an occasional preacher or a deserter of
-his home. He remembered the priests he had met and conversed with in
-France, men who had no claims, no interests outside their Church and
-their parish; and it seemed to him that he had bound himself with a
-servitude that made his service of Christ a dead letter.
-
-His mission work must end if he was to do his duty at home. His career
-as John Wesley's helper had been the most absorbing episode in his
-life--a source of unbounded satisfaction to mind and conscience. He
-had gloried in the result of his labours, never questioning, in his
-own fervid faith, whether conversions so sudden would stand the test
-of time. He had counted every convert as a gain for ever, every flood
-of tears as a cleansing stream. But, precious though this work had
-been to him, conscience urged him to renounce it. His first duty was
-to make a home for the woman he had sworn to love and cherish. To this
-end he would try to become a priest of the Established Church, strive
-to obtain a London living, however small, and confine his service of
-Christ within a narrow radius, till fortune should widen his area
-of work. He had loved his freedom hitherto, the power to work for
-his own hand; but for Lucy's sake he would bend his shoulders to the
-Episcopal yoke, and enter on a phase of humble obedience to authority,
-prepared at any hour to be called to account for his opinions, and to
-be hampered and constrained in his gospel teaching. He would have
-to suffer, as others of the Oxford Methodists and their disciples
-had suffered, from the tyranny of ecclesiastical intolerance; but he
-would face all difficulties, submit to many restrictions, to make a
-home for his wife. And then there was always the hope that the Church
-of England would be swept from the great dismal swamp of formalism on
-the strong tide of the Great Revival, which ran higher and wider with
-every year of Wesley's and Whitefield's life. The teaching begun by
-Whitefield among the prisoners in Gloucester jail, by Wesley in the
-humble meeting-house in Fetter Lane, had spread over England, Scotland,
-and Ireland with an irresistible force, and must finally make its power
-felt in the Established Church.
-
-From the market cross and the country side, from the colliers of
-Bristol and the miners of Cornwall, from the wild fervour of services
-and sermons under starlit skies, from congregations numbered by
-thousands, George Stobart was prepared to restrict the scope of his
-work to an obscure London pulpit or a poverty-stricken parish, content
-if in so doing his conscience could be at rest. But the outlook was
-dreary, and he began to measure the length of his earthly pilgrimage,
-and foresaw the long progress of eventless years, some little good
-done, perhaps, some souls gained for Christ, many small sorrows
-alleviated, but all his work shut within a narrow space, controlled by
-other people's opinions.
-
-One agony which other men of deep religious feeling have suffered
-was spared to John Wesley's helper. His faith knew no shadow of
-change. His absolute belief in his God and his Saviour remained to
-him in the lowest depth of mental depression. He might feel himself
-a creature of sinful impulses, an outcast from God, but he never
-doubted the existence of that God, or the reality of that hereafter
-the hope of which lies at the root of all religion. The paradise of
-saints, the infinite joys of eternity, hung on the balance of good and
-evil, a stupendous stake, which most men played for with such wild
-recklessness, till the lights of this life began to fade, and the awful
-possibilities of that other life beyond the veil flashed on their
-troubled souls.
-
-He was startled from the automatic monotony of his life by a letter
-whose superscription so agitated him that his shaking hand could
-scarcely break the seal. Indeed, he did not break it for some
-moments, but sat with the letter in his hand, staring at the familiar
-writing--Antonia's writing, a strong and firm penmanship, every letter
-definite and upright, somewhat resembling Joseph Addison's. Oh, how
-embued with sin, how trapped and entangled in Satan's net, must his
-soul be when only the sight of Antonia's writing could so move him!
-
-He was alone. The letter had been brought him by the little
-maid-servant. His wife was upstairs, busy with her son, whose footsteps
-might be heard running across the floor above.
-
-He broke the seal at last, and unfolded her letter.
-
- * * * * *
-
- "St. James's Square, Monday night.
-
- "DEAR SIR,
-
- "I believe it is near a month since you have honoured me
- with a visit, nor was I so fortunate as to meet you on
- Saturday afternoon, when I spent some hours among our poor
- friends in the Marsh, and went to look at Sally's grave in
- the Baptist burial-ground. I must impose on your goodness
- to order a neat headstone, with the dear creature's name
- and age, and one of those Scripture texts which so consoled
- her last hours. I doubt, since the afternoon was so fine,
- you were treating yourself to a rustic holiday with Mrs.
- Stobart, to whom I beg you to present my affectionate
- compliments.
-
- "Well, sir, since you are too busy to visit me, I must needs
- thrust my company upon you, at the risk of being thought
- troublesome. In one of my conversations with Sally Dormer
- the poor soul entreated me, with tearful urgency, to hear
- the famous preacher who converted her, believing that even
- my stubborn mind must yield to his invincible arguments,
- must be touched and melted by his heavenly eloquence.
- To soothe her agitated spirits I promised to hear Mr.
- Whitefield preach, a promise which I gave the more readily
- as my curiosity had been aroused by the reports I had heard
- of his genius.
-
- "I am told that he is to preach at Kennington Common
- to-morrow night, to a vaster audience than his new
- Tabernacle, large as it is, could contain, and I should like
- better to hear him under the starry vault of a June evening
- than in the sultry fustiness of a crowded meeting-house.
- I have ever been interested in your description of those
- open-air meetings where you yourself have been the preacher.
- There is something romantic and heart-stirring in your
- picture of the rugged heath, the throng of humanity huddled
- together under a wild night sky, seeing not each other's
- faces, but hearing the beating of each other's hearts, the
- quickened breath of agitated feeling, and in the midst of
- that listening silence the shrill cry of some overwrought
- creature falling to the ground in a transport of agitation,
- which you and Mr. Wesley take to be the visitation of a
- Divine Power.
-
- "I have not courage to go alone to such a meeting, and I
- do not care to ask any of my modish friends to go with me,
- though there are several among my acquaintance who are
- admirers of Mr. Whitefield, and occasional attendants at
- Lady Huntingdon's pious assemblies. To them, did I express
- this desire, I might seem a hypocrite. You who have sounded
- the depths of my mind, and who know that although I am an
- unbeliever I have never been a scoffer, will think more
- indulgently of me.
-
- "The service is to begin at ten o'clock. I shall call at
- your door at nine, and ask you to accompany me to Kennington
- in my coach.
-
- "I remain, dear sir, with heartfelt respect,
-
- "Your very sincere and humble servant,
-
- "ANTONIA KILRUSH."
-
-"What has happened, George?" asked his wife, who had come into the room
-unheard by him, while he was reading his letter. "You look as pleased
-as if you had come into a fortune."
-
-He looked up at her with a bewildered air, and for the moment could not
-answer.
-
-"What does she say, George? 'Tis from Lady Kilrush, I know, for her
-footman is waiting in the passage."
-
-"Yes, 'tis from Lady Kilrush. She desires to hear Whitefield preach
-to-morrow night, and asks me to accompany her."
-
-"What, is she coming round, after all? I doubt you will be monstrous
-proud if you convert her."
-
-"I should be monstrous happy--but it will be God's work, not mine.
-My words have been like the idle wind. Whitefield's influence might
-do something; but, alas! I fear even he will fail to touch that proud
-heart, that resolute mind, so strong in the sense of intellectual
-power. Will you go with us to-morrow?"
-
-"Mr. Whitefield's sermons are so long, and the heat at the Tabernacle
-always makes my head ache."
-
-"'Tis not at the Tabernacle, but at Kennington, in the open air."
-
-"And we may have to stand all the time. I think I'd rather stay at home
-with Georgie."
-
-"Her ladyship will call for me at nine. The boy will be in bed and
-asleep hours before."
-
-"I love to sit by his bed sewing. He wakes sometimes, and likes to find
-me there; and sometimes he has bad dreams, and wakes in a fright."
-
-"And wants his mother's hand and voice to soothe his spirits. Happy
-child, who knows not the burden of sin, and has but shadowy fears that
-vanish at a word of comfort! Well, you must do as you please, Lucy; but
-there will be room for you in her ladyship's coach."
-
-"Oh, she is always kind, and I should love the ride; but Mr.
-Whitefield's sermons are so long."
-
-Stobart wrote briefly to assure Lady Kilrush of his pleasure in being
-her escort to Kennington, with the customary formal conclusion,
-protesting himself her ladyship's "most obliged and most devoted humble
-servant."
-
-When his letter was despatched he went out to the Marsh, and walked
-for an hour in that waste region outside the streets and alleys where
-his work lay. His wife's parlour had grown too small for him. He felt
-stifled within those four walls.
-
-He would see her again, spend some hours in her company, her trusted
-friend and protector, permitted to guard her amidst that rabble throng
-which was likely to assemble on the common. His heart beat with a
-fierce rapture at the thought of those coming hours. Only to stand by
-her side under the summer stars, hemmed round, half suffocated by the
-crowd; only to see her, and to hear the adored music of her voice, the
-voice which had so haunted him of late, that he had started up out
-of sleep sometimes, hearing her call his name. Vain delusion, that
-betrayed the drift of his dreams!
-
-Her coach was at his door five minutes before the hour. The night
-was sultry, and the two parlour windows were wide open. He had been
-leaning with folded arms upon the window-sill watching for her, while
-Lucy sat at the table sewing by the light of two candles in tall brass
-candlesticks. She had thought the pair of tallow candles a mark of
-gentility in the beginning of her married life, when the remembrance
-of the slum near Moorfields was fresh; but she knew better now, having
-seen the splendours of St. James's Square, and wax candles reckoned by
-the hundred.
-
-Her ladyship had four horses to her chariot, and a couple of
-postillions. The lamps flamed through the summer darkness.
-
-"I may be late," Stobart said hurriedly. "Don't sit up for me, Lucy."
-
-He saw Antonia's face at the coach door, and the sight of it so moved
-him that he could scarcely speak.
-
-His wife ran to bid him good-bye, with her customary childlike kiss,
-standing on tip-toe to offer him her fresh young lips, but he waved her
-aside.
-
-"We shall be late. Good-night."
-
-His heart was beating furiously. On the threshold of his door he had
-half a mind to excuse himself to Antonia, and to go back. He felt as
-if the devil was tugging him into some dark labyrinth of doom. This
-man believed in the devil as firmly as he believed in God--believed in
-an actual omnipresent Satan, ubiquitous, ever on the watch to decoy
-sinners, ever eager to people hell with renegades from Christ. And
-he felt, with a thrill of agony, that he was in the devil's clutch
-to-night. Satan was spreading his choicest lure to catch the sinner's
-soul--a woman's ineffable beauty.
-
-She was alone, and welcomed him with her sweetest smile.
-
-"I am turning my back on Handel's new oratorio to hear your Mr.
-Whitefield," she said, as they shook hands; "but now the hour is
-approaching I feel as eager as if I were going to see a new Romeo as
-seducing as Spranger Barry."
-
-"Ah, madam, dared I hope that Whitefield's eloquence could change this
-frivolous humour to a beginning of belief! Could your stubborn mind
-once bend itself to understand the mysteries of God's redeeming grace
-you would not long remain in darkness. Could but one ray of Divine
-truth stream in upon your soul, like the shaft of sunshine through
-Newton's shutter, you would soon be drowned in light, dazzled by the
-prismatic glory of the Heavenly Sun."
-
-"And blinded, as I doubt you are, sir. I will not impose upon you. I do
-not go to Kennington to be assured of free grace, or to be convinced
-of sin; but first to keep a promise to the dead, and next to follow
-the fashion, which is to hear and criticize Mr. Whitefield. Some of my
-friends swear he is a finer orator than Mr. Pitt."
-
-After this they remained silent for the greater part of the way,
-Antonia watching the road, where the houses were set back behind long
-gardens, and where the countrified inns had ample space in front for a
-horse-trough and rustic tables and benches, with here and there a row
-of fine elms. That sense of space and air which is so sadly wanting
-now in the mighty wilderness of brick and stone gave a rural charm to
-the suburbs when George II. was king. Ten minutes' walk took a man
-from town to country, from streets and alleys to meadow and cornfield,
-hedgerow and thicket. The perfume of summer flowers was in the air
-through which they drove, and the village that hemmed the fatal common,
-so recently a scene of ignominious death, was as rustic as a hamlet in
-Buckinghamshire.
-
-The crowd had gathered thickly, and had spread itself over the greater
-part of the common when Lady Kilrush's chariot drew up on the outskirts
-of the assembly. Stobart alighted and went to reconnoitre. A platform
-had been erected about six feet from the ground, and on this there had
-been placed a row of chairs, and a table for the preacher, with a brass
-lantern standing on each side of the large quarto Bible. Whitefield was
-there, with one of his helpers, a member of Parliament, his devoted
-adherent, and two ladies, one of whom was the Countess of Yarmouth's
-daughter, Lady Chesterfield, dowered with the blood of the Guelfs, and
-a fine fortune from the royal coffers, Whitefield's most illustrious
-convert, and a shining light in Lady Huntingdon's saintly circle.
-
-Stobart was on terms of friendship with the orator, and had no
-difficulty in obtaining a seat for Lady Kilrush. Indeed, her ladyship's
-name would have obtained the favour as easily had she sent it by her
-footman, for George Whitefield loved to melt patrician hearts, and draw
-tears from proud eyes. Enthusiast as he was, there is a something in
-his familiar letters which suggests that aristocratic converts counted
-double. They were the _ecarte_ kings, the trump-aces in the game he
-played against Satan.
-
-Stobart brought Antonia through the crowd, and placed her in a chair at
-the end of the platform, farthest from the preacher, lest the thunder
-of his tremendous voice should sound too close to her ear.
-
-There was a chair to spare for himself, and he took his seat at her
-side, in the silence of that vast audience, waiting for the giving out
-of the hymn with which these open-air services usually began.
-
-Never before had Antonia seen so vast an assemblage hushed in a serious
-expectancy, with faces all turned to one point, that central spot above
-the heads of the crowd where the lanterns made an atmosphere of faint
-yellow light around George Whitefield's black figure standing beside
-the table, with one hand resting upon an open Bible, and the other
-uplifted to command silence and attention.
-
-From the preacher's platform, almost to the edge of the common the
-crowd extended, black and dense, a company gathered from all over
-London, and compounded of classes so various that almost every
-Metropolitan type might be found there, from the Churchman of highest
-dignity, come to criticize and condemn, to the street-hawker, the
-professional mendicant, come to taste an excitement scarcely inferior
-to gin.
-
-Whitefield's helper gave out the number of the hymn, and recited the
-first two lines in slow and distinct tones. Then, with a burst of sound
-loud as the stormy breakers rolling over a rock-bound beach, there rose
-the voices of a multitude that none could number, harsh and sweet,
-loud and low, soprano and contralto, bass and tenor, mingled in one
-vast chorus of praise. The effect was stupendous, and Antonia felt a
-catching of her breath, that was almost a sob. Did those words mean
-nothing, after all? Was that cry of a believing throng only empty air?
-
-A short extempore prayer followed from the helper. George Whitefield's
-voice had not yet been heard. The influence of his presence was enough,
-and it may have been that his dramatic instinct led him to keep
-himself in reserve till that moment of hush and expectancy in which he
-pronounced the first words of his text.
-
-He stood there, supreme in a force that is rare in the history of
-mankind, the force that rules multitudes. 'Twas no commanding grace of
-person that impressed this prodigious assembly. He stood there, the
-central point in that tremendous throng, a very common figure, short,
-fat, in a black gown with huge sleeves, and a ridiculous white wig,
-features without beauty or grandeur, eyes with a decided squint; and
-that vast concourse thrilled at his presence, as at a messenger from
-the throne of God. This was the heaven-born orator, the man who at
-two-and-twenty years of age had held assembled thousands spell-bound
-by his eloquence, the man gifted with a voice of surpassing beauty,
-and with a dramatic genius which enabled him to clothe abstract ideas
-with flesh and blood, and make them live and move before his awestruck
-hearers.
-
-It was this dramatic genius that made Whitefield supreme over the
-masses. Those of his admirers who had leisure to read and weigh his
-published sermons might discover that he had no message to deliver,
-that those trumpet tones were but reverberations in the air, that of
-all who flocked to hear the famous preacher, none ever carried home a
-convincing and practicable scheme of religious life; yet none could
-doubt the power of the man to stir the feelings, to excite, awaken and
-alarm the ignorant and unenlightened, to melt and to startle even his
-superiors in education and refinement. None could deny that the man
-who began life as a pot-boy in a Gloucester tavern was the greatest
-preacher of his time.
-
-Antonia watched and listened with a keen interest, enduring the heated
-atmosphere of the crowd as best she might. She had thrown off her
-mantle, and the starlight shone upon the marble of her throat and the
-diamond heart that fastened her gauze kerchief. One large ruby set in
-the midst of the diamonds enhanced their whiteness; and it seemed to
-Stobart as he looked at her that the vivid crimson spot symbolized his
-own heart's blood, always bleeding for her, drop by drop. Absorbed by
-her interest in the preacher, she was unconscious of those eyes that
-gazed at her with an unspeakable love, knew not that for this man it
-was happiness only to sit by her side, to watch every change in the
-lovely face, every grace of the perfect form, oblivious of the crowd,
-the orator, of everything upon earth except her.
-
-To-night Whitefield was in one of his gloomy moods, the preacher
-of unmitigated Calvinism. It may be that his late quarrel with the
-Bishop of Bangor, and the persecution he had suffered at his West End
-chapel had soured him, and that he was unconsciously influenced by the
-hardness of a world in which a mighty hunter of souls was the mark for
-narrow-minded opposition and vulgar ridicule. His purpose to-night
-seemed rather to appal than to convince, to instil despair rather than
-hope.
-
-His text from the Epistle of St. Jude was pronounced in solemn tones
-that reached wide across that closely packed mass of humanity--
-
-"For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old
-ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our
-God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord
-Jesus Christ.... Clouds they are without water, carried about of winds;
-trees whose fruit withereth, without fruit, twice dead, plucked up
-by the roots; raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame;
-wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for
-ever."
-
-In an oration that lasted nearly two hours the preacher rang the
-changes on these tremendous words. Through every phase of sin, through
-every stage of the downward journey, his imagination followed the
-sinner, "of old ordained" to perish everlastingly. His vivid words
-described a soul inevitably lost; and again and again the melancholy
-music of those phrases, "raging waves of the sea, foaming out their
-own shame; wandering stars; clouds without water," rang out over the
-awe-stricken throng, moved by this picture of an imagined doom, with
-an emotion scarcely less intense than the thrill of agony that ran
-through the crowd at Tyburn when the doomed sinner swung into Eternity.
-
-It was with the picture of Judas, his final example of sin and death,
-that the preacher closed his discourse.
-
-"Let those who tell you there is no such thing as predestination turn
-their eyes upon Judas," he said, his voice falling to that grave note
-which preluded terror. "Let them consider the arch-apostate, the son
-of perdition. Oh, my brethren, had ever mortal man such opportunities
-of salvation as Judas had? Have the angels who stand about the throne
-of God, His worshippers and subordinates, half such privileges as
-Judas had? To be the friend and companion of his Saviour, in daily
-and familiar association with the Redeemer of souls; to walk by His
-side through the fields of Palestine; to sit at meat with Him; to be
-with Him in sadness and in joy, in prayer and praise; to journey over
-the wild sea with Him, and behold His power to still the tempest; to
-be His bosom friend; to live on an equality with God! Think of him,
-oh, you sinners who have never seen your Saviour's face, think of
-Judas! Think of those three years of sweet converse! Think of that
-Divine condescension which received sinful man in the brotherhood of
-friendship! Think of those journeys by the Lake of Gennesaret, those
-pilgrimages of prayer and praise, the daily, the hourly companionship
-with Divinity, the affectionate familiarity with Ineffable Wisdom!
-
-"And, O God, great God of sinners, to think what came of such
-unutterable privileges! The disciple, the companion, bartered all that
-glory and delight, flung away those inestimable joys for a handful of
-silver. Which of you dare disbelieve in predestined damnation when
-he contemplates this hideous fall, when he sees the chosen brother
-of Jesus sink to the base huckstering of a Jonathan Wild, one of the
-sacred twelve reduced to the level of informers and thief-catchers,
-trucking his soul's salvation against thirty pieces of silver?
-
-"'Twas the inexorable destiny of the foredoomed sinner, the appointed
-end to which those footsteps beside the lake, those footsteps
-across the mountain, those footsteps through the temple, and in the
-market-place, fast or slow, were always moving. God had sentenced this
-man to the most awful doom the mind can conceive, created to betray,
-the foredoomed destroyer of his Saviour. Who can question that he was
-marked for hell? How else account for such a fall? I despise that
-shallow reasoner who will tell you that the fall of Judas was a gradual
-descent, beginning in avarice, ending in murder. I laugh at that fond
-theorizer who will tell you that Judas was an ambitious dreamer,
-longing to behold the Kingdom of Christ triumphant on earth, and
-thinking to realize that dazzling dream by bringing about the conflict
-between his Master and earthly authority. I laugh at him who tells me
-that Judas expected to see the power of the Synagogue and the Forum
-shrivel like a burning scroll before the face of the Messiah; and that
-it was on the failure of that hope he rushed to the Field of Blood.
-
-"No, dear sinners, a thousand and a thousand times no! Over that guilty
-head the fiat of the Eternal had gone forth, 'This is the son of
-perdition, this is he who shall betray the Son of God.'"
-
-Then, after a long pause, sinking his mighty voice almost to a whisper,
-the preacher asked--
-
-"Is there any son of perdition here to-night? Is there one among you
-whose stubborn heart answers not to his Saviour's call--a wretch in
-love with vice, who would rather have sensual pleasures on earth than
-everlasting bliss in heaven--a modern Judas who sells his Redeemer's
-love for thirty pieces of the devil's money, thirty profligate
-raptures, thirty vicious indulgences, thirty debauches in filthy
-taverns, thirty nights of riot and wantonness among gamesters and loose
-women?
-
-"If there be any such, cast him from you. However near, however
-dear--father, brother, husband, son, flesh of your flesh and bone of
-your bone. Cast him out; oh, you who value your eternal happiness!
-You cannot mistake the mark of the lost soul. The son of perdition
-bears a brand of sin that no eye can fail to recognize. 'Tis Satan's
-broad-arrow, and stamps the wretch foredoomed to hell. You who would
-taste the joys of heaven, hold no fellowship with such on earth."
-
-The great throng heard those concluding phrases in a profound silence.
-The heavy stillness of a sultry night, the muffled roll of distant
-thunder, the fitful lightning, now faint, now vivid, that flashed
-across the scene, intensified the dramatic effect of the sermon, and
-the crowds that had gathered noisily with much talk and some jeering,
-dwindled and melted away subdued and thoughtful.
-
-Like many other of Whitefield's sermons which moved multitudes, there
-was little left after the last resonance of the mighty voice had sunk
-into silence. But the immediate effect of his oration was tremendous.
-Garrick had said that he would give a hundred pounds if he could say
-"Oh!" like Whitefield; and what Garrick could not do must have been
-something of exceptional power.
-
-Antonia had given her whole mind to the preacher; yet for her his
-sermon was but a dramatic effort, and she went back to her coach full
-of wonder at that vast influence which a fine voice and a cultivated
-elocution had exercised over the multitude in England and America.
-
-Upon George Stobart the preacher's influence was stronger.
-
-"The man makes me believe against my own reason," he said, "which has
-ever striven against the idea of a fatal necessity. Come, Lady Kilrush,
-confess that his eloquence moved you."
-
-"I confess as much with all my heart; and I am very glad to have
-heard him. He is a finer actor--an unconscious actor, of course--than
-Garrick; at least, he has a greater power to appal an ignorant crowd."
-
-"I see you are as stubborn as ever."
-
-"My mind is not a weather-cock, to be driven by changing winds. I
-doubt Mr. Whitefield may do good by such a discourse as we have heard
-to-night. He may scare feeble sinners, and teach them to believe that,
-weak and wicked as they are, God has marked them for salvation. But
-what of the sinner deeply sunk in guilt--will not he see only the
-hopelessness of any struggle to escape from Satan? 'So be it,' he will
-cry; 'if I am the son of perdition, let me drown my soul in sin, and
-forget the injustice of God.'"
-
-George Stobart's only answer was a despairing sigh. "Let me drown my
-soul in sin, and forget God." Those awful words too well depicted the
-condition of his own mind to-night, sitting by her side in the roomy
-chariot, apart from her, with his face turned to the open window, his
-eyes looking into the summer stillness, unseeing, his heart beating
-with the fierce throb of passion held in check.
-
-Was not Whitefield right, after all? Were there not men whose names
-were written in the Book of Doom, wretches not born to be judged, but
-judged before they were born? To-night that religion of despair seemed
-to him the only possible creed. He had looked back and remembered the
-sins of his youth--his life at Eton--his life in the Army. And he had
-believed the stain of those sins washed away in one ineffable hour of
-spiritual anguish and spiritual joy, the conviction of sin followed by
-the assurance of free grace. He had believed his past life annihilated,
-and himself made a new creature, pure as Adam before the fall. And in
-the years that had followed that day of grace he had walked with head
-erect, and eyes looking up to heaven, strong in his belief in Christ,
-but strongest in his reliance upon his own good works.
-
-O God, what availed his labour in the service of humanity, his
-sacrifice of worldly gain, his preaching, his prayers, his faithful
-study of God's word? A wave of passion surged across his soul, and all
-of good that there had been in him was swept away. The original man,
-foredoomed to evil, appeared again. A soul drowned in sin! Her words,
-so carelessly spoken, had denounced him.
-
-The silence lasted long, and they were nearing the lights of London
-when Antonia spoke.
-
-"You are very silent, Mr. Stobart," she said; "I hope you have not any
-trouble on your mind to-night."
-
-"No, no."
-
-"Then 'tis that hideous doctrine troubles you."
-
-"Perhaps. What if it be the only true key to God's mysteries? Yes, I
-believe there are souls given over to Satan."
-
-"Oh, if you believe in Satan you can believe anything."
-
-"Can you look round the world you live in and doubt the Power of Evil?"
-
-"Of the evil within us, no. 'Tis in ourselves, in our own hearts and
-minds the devil lives. We have to fight him there. Oh, I believe in
-that devil, the devil of many names. Envy, hatred, malice, jealousy,
-vanity, self-love, discontent. I know the fiend under most of his
-aliases. But our part is to be stronger than our own evil inclinations.
-I am not afraid of the devil."
-
-"He speaks for you in that arrogant speech, and his name is pride."
-
-"Well, perhaps I spoke with too much assurance; but I believe pride is
-a virtue in women, as courage is in men. Or, perhaps, pride in women is
-only courage by another name."
-
-He did not reply for some moments; and then an irrepressible impulse
-made him touch on a perilous subject.
-
-"Have you changed your mind about Lord Dunkeld?"
-
-"As how, sir?" she asked, with a chilling air.
-
-"Have you resolved to accept him as a husband? Surely you could not be
-for ever adamant against so noble a suitor."
-
-"You are vastly impertinent, to repeat a question that I answered some
-time ago. No, sir, I shall never accept Lord Dunkeld, nor any other
-suitor--had he the highest rank in the kingdom."
-
-"You must have some strong reason."
-
-"I have my reason, an all-sufficient reason; and now, sir, no more, I
-beg you. Indeed, I wonder that you can distress me by renewing this
-argument."
-
-"Oh, madam, if you but knew the motive of my impertinence, the anguish
-of heart that speaks in those words! I would have you happily mated,
-Antonia. I--_I_--who adore you. Yes, though my jealous soul could
-scarce contemplate the image of your husband without the murderer's
-impulse--though to think of you belonging to another would be a torment
-worse than hell-fire. Could you know how I have wrestled with Satan;
-how when I urged you to marry Dunkeld every word I spoke was like a
-knife driven through my heart; how I longed to fling myself at your
-feet, to tell you, as I tell you now, at the peril of my salvation,
-that I love you, with all the strength of my soul, my soul drowned in
-sin, the unpardonable sin of loving you, the sin for which I must lose
-heaven and reckon with Satan, my darling sin, the sin unto death, never
-to be repented of."
-
-He was on his knees, and his arms were about her, drawing her averted
-face towards his own with a wild violence, till her brow touched his,
-and his lips were pressed against her burning cheek. She felt the
-passion of his kiss, and his tears upon her face, before she wrenched
-herself from his arms, and dashed down the glass in front of her.
-
-"Stop!" she called out to the postillions.
-
-Startled at her authoritative cry, they pulled up their horses
-suddenly, with a loud clattering on the stones, a hundred yards from
-the bridge.
-
-"You devil!" she said to Stobart, between her set teeth. "You that I
-took for a saint! I will not breathe the same air with you."
-
-The carriage had hardly stopped when she opened the door and sprang
-out, not waiting for her footman to let down the steps. He had been
-asleep in the rumble, and only alighted a moment before his mistress.
-
-She walked towards the bridge in a tumult of agitation, Stobart at
-her side, while her carriage and horses stood still, and her servants
-waited for orders, wondering at this strange caprice of their lady's.
-
-"Hypocrite! hypocrite!" she repeated. "You--the Christian, the preacher
-who calls sinners to repentance; the man who sacrificed fortune to
-marry the girl he loved."
-
-"I knew not what love meant."
-
-"You chose a simple girl for your wife, and tired of her; pretended
-friendship for me, and under that mask of friendship nursed your
-profligate dreams; and now you dare insult me with your unholy love."
-
-"I should not have so dared, madam--indeed, I believe I might have
-conquered my passion--so far as to remain for ever silent--if--if your
-own words----"
-
-"My words? When have I ever spoken a word that could warrant such an
-affront?"
-
-"When I advised you to accept Dunkeld--you refused with such
-impassioned vehemence--you confessed you had a reason."
-
-"And you thought 'twas because I loved another woman's husband--that
-'twas your saintly self I cared for? No, sir, 'twas because I swore to
-Kilrush on his death-bed that I would never belong to another, that
-our union, of but one tragical hour, should be all I would ever know
-of wedlock. I belong to him now as I belonged to him then. I love his
-memory now as I loved him then. That, sir, was my reason. Are you not
-ashamed of your fatuous self-esteem, which took it for a confession of
-love? Love for you, the Methodist preacher, the man of God!"
-
-"Yes, I am ashamed--I am drinking the cup of shame."
-
-"You have tricked me, sir. You have deceived me very cruelly. I trusted
-you--I thought that I had a friend--one man in the world who treated
-me like a woman of sense--who dared to disapprove, where all the world
-basely flattered me. And you are the worst of all--the snake in the
-grass. But do you think I fear you? I had a better man than you at my
-feet--the man I loved--my first love--a man with sovereign power over
-the hearts of women. Do you think I fear you? No, sir, 'twas then the
-tempter tried me. If there is a devil who assails women, I met him
-then, and vanquished him."
-
-She trembled from head to foot in the excess of her feeling. She was
-leaning against the balustrade in one of the semicircular recesses on
-the bridge. He was sitting at the furthest end of the stone bench, his
-elbows on his knees, his face hidden.
-
-"You have made me hate myself," he said. "'Tis useless to ask you to
-forgive me; but you can forget that so base a worm crawls upon this
-earth. _That_ will cost you but a slight effort."
-
-"Yes, I will try to forget you; and to forget how much I valued your
-friendship, or the friendship of the honourable man I took you for."
-
-"I was that man, madam. Our friendship did not begin in treachery. I
-was your true and honourable friend--till--till the devil saw me in my
-foolish pride, my arrogant confidence in good works."
-
-"Well, sir, 'tis a dream ended," she said, in those grave contralto
-tones that had ever been like music in his ear--the lower key to which
-her voice dropped when she was deeply moved; "and from to-night be good
-enough to remember that we are strangers."
-
-"I shall not forget, madam, nor shall my presence make the future
-troublesome to you."
-
-Something in his words scared her.
-
-"You will do nothing violent--nothing desperately wicked?"
-
-"No, madam, whatever the tempter whispers, however sweetly the river
-murmurs of rest and oblivion, I shall not kill myself. For me there is
-the 'something after death'!"
-
-"Will you tell them to bring my coach?"
-
-He rose and obeyed without a word, and stood by bareheaded till she
-drove away, not even offering to assist her as she stepped into the
-carriage, attended by her footman. Stobart stood watching till the
-chariot vanished in the darkness of the street beyond the bridge, then
-flung himself on the bench in the recess, and sat with his arms folded
-on the stone parapet, and his forehead leaning upon them, lost in
-despairing thoughts.
-
-Judas, Judas, the companion of Christ, foredoomed to everlasting
-misery--Judas, the son of perdition! And what of him who six years
-ago gave himself to God--convinced of sin, sincerely repenting of the
-errors of his youth, resolved to lead a new life, to live in Christ and
-for Christ? How confident he had been, how happy in the assurance of
-grace--all his thoughts, all his desires in subjection to the Divine
-will, living not by the strict letter of Christ's law, but by every
-counsel of perfection, deeming no sacrifice of self too severe, no
-labour too exacting, in that heavenly service. And now, after that holy
-apprenticeship, after all those years of duty and obedience, after
-mounting so high upon the ladder of life, to find himself lying in the
-mire at the foot of it, caught in the toils of Satan, and again the
-slave of sin!
-
-The slave of sin--yes--for though he hated the sin, he went on sinning.
-He loved her--he loved her with a passion that the Water of Life
-could not quench. How vain were those supplications for grace, those
-confessions of guilt which broke from his convulsed lips, while her
-image filled his heart. How vain his cry to Christ for help, while
-_her_ voice sounded in his ears, and the thought of her indignation,
-her scorn, her icy indifference, reigned supreme in the fiery tumult of
-his brain.
-
-Oh, how he loathed himself for his folly; how he writhed under a
-proud man's agony of humiliation at the thought of his fatuous
-self-delusion! Something in her look, something in her tone when
-she protested against a second marriage, had thrilled him with the
-conviction that his love had found its answer in her heart. When did
-that fatal love begin? He knew not how the insidious poison stole
-into his senses; but he could recall his first consciousness of that
-blissful slavery, his first lapse from honour. He could remember the
-hour and the moment, they two walking through the squalid street in the
-winter twilight, her gloved hand resting lightly on his arm, her eyes
-looking up at him, sapphire-blue under the long dark lashes, her low
-voice murmuring words of pity for the dying child that she had nursed
-in her lap, for the broken-hearted mother they had just left, and in
-his heart a wild rapture that was new and sweet.
-
-"I love her, I love her," he had told himself in that moment. "But she
-will never know. It is as if I loved an angel. She is as far from me.
-My conscience can suffer no stain from so pure, so distant a love."
-
-Self-deluded sinner! Hypocrite to himself! He knew now that this moment
-marked the beginning of apostasy, the law of sin warring against the
-inward light. He knew now that this woman--noble-minded, chaste,
-charitable, a creature of kindly impulses and generous acts, for him
-represented Antichrist, and that from the hour in which he proved her
-stubborn in unbelief, he should have renounced her friendship. He had
-paltered with truth, had tried to reconcile the kingdom of darkness
-with the kingdom of light, had been satisfied with the vague hope of
-a deferred conversion, and had made his bosom friend of the woman who
-denied his Master.
-
-He loved her--with a love not to be repented of--a love that ran in his
-veins and moved his heart, and seemed as much a part of his being as
-the nerves and bones and flesh and blood that made him a man. He might
-lie in dust and ashes at the foot of the cross, scourge himself to
-death with the penitent's whip; but while the heart beat and the brain
-could think the wicked love would be there; and he would die adoring
-her, die and perish everlastingly, lost to salvation, cut off from
-Christ's compassion, by that unhallowed love.
-
-There was the agony for him, the believer. To abhor sin, to believe
-in everlasting punishment, and to feel the impossibility of a saving
-repentance, to know himself a son of perdition; since what could avail
-the pangs of remorse for the man who went on sinning, whose whole life
-was coloured by a guilty passion?
-
-The Divine Teacher's stern denunciation of such sin rang in his ears,
-as he crouched with folded arms on the stone parapet, alone in the
-summer darkness, an outcast from God.
-
-"He that looketh upon a woman!" On his adulterous heart that sentence
-burnt like vitriol upon tender flesh. Only by ceasing to love her could
-he cease to sin; and, looking forward through the long vista of the
-coming years, he saw no possibility of change in his guilty heart, no
-hope of respite from yearning and regret. Six years of repentance for
-the sins and follies of his youth; six years of faithful service; six
-years of peace and self-approval; and now behold him thrust outside
-the gate, a soul more lost than in those unregenerate days when the
-consciousness of sin was first awakened in his mind, when remorse for a
-youthful intrigue, in which he had been the victim and sport of a vile
-woman, and for a duel that had ended fatally, first became intolerable.
-For him, the earnest believer, to whom religion was a terrible reality,
-the fall from a state of grace meant the loss of that great hope
-which alone can make life worth living, that "hope of eternal life,
-which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began." For him
-sin unrepented of meant everlasting despair, the pains of hell, the
-companionship of devils.
-
-He left the bridge, and wandered along the river bank, past his own
-house, past the Archbishop's Palace, to the dreary marshes between
-Lambeth and Battersea--wandered like a man hunted by evil spirits; and
-it was not till daylight that he turned his steps slowly homeward,
-dejected and forlorn.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XV.
-
-
-"MY LADY AND MY LOVE."
-
-
-Antonia was wounded to the quick by a revelation that lost her the one
-friend whom she had counted as changeless amidst the fickle herd. She
-knew of how airy a substance the friendship of the many is made; and,
-pleasant as she found the polite world, she had as yet discovered no
-kindred spirit, no woman of her own age, and tastes, and inclinations,
-whom she could choose for her bosom friend. Lady Margaret Laroche was,
-indeed, her only intimate friend amidst the multitude of her admiring
-acquaintance. But in George Stobart, the man who dared to be uncivil,
-who gave her vinegar and wormwood when she was satiated with the honey
-and roses of modish society, she had found a closer sympathy, a quicker
-appreciation of her ideas and aspirations, than in any one she had
-known since those old days in Rupert Buildings, where she discussed
-every thought and every dream with Kilrush. And stormily as that former
-friendship had ended, she had never contemplated the possibility of
-evil passions here, in that stern ascetic, the man who had renounced
-the world, with all its pleasures, follies, and temptations. An
-infidel herself, she had honoured Stobart for his steadfast faith, his
-self-surrender.
-
-She was troubled, shocked, distressed by the discovery that her friend
-was unworthy. His absence made a blank in her life, in spite of her
-innumerable distractions. The memory of his sin haunted her. She tried
-in vain to banish the offender's image from her mind, and the thought
-of him came upon her at strange seasons, and sometimes kept her awake
-at night, like the hot and cold fits of an Indian fever.
-
-She was not the woman to cherish weak sentimentalism, vain regrets
-for an unworthy friend. She had lost him, and must endure her loss,
-knowing that henceforward friendship was impossible. She could never
-again admit him to her presence, never confide in him, never esteem
-and honour him. The man she had trusted was dead to her for ever. It
-was less than a week after the parting on Westminster Bridge when she
-received a letter which removed all fear of any chance encounter with
-the man who had offended her.
-
-
-
- "The George Inn, Portsmouth.
-
- "The wretch who writes these lines would scarce presume to
- address you were it not to bid a farewell that is to be
- eternal. I have gone back to my old trade of soldiering, and
- am to sail from this place at the first favourable wind, to
- serve in North America under General Amherst, with a company
- of grenadiers, mostly volunteers like myself. 'Tis beginning
- life again at the bottom of the ladder; but the lowest rank
- in his Majesty's service is too high for the deserter from
- Christ. The chances of savage warfare may bring me that
- peace which I can never know in this world, and should I
- fall I shall expire in the hope of salvation, trusting that
- the Great Judge will be merciful to a sinner who dies in the
- service of his King and country.
-
- "If you ever think of me, madam, let it be with kindness, as
- of one tempted beyond his strength, and not a willing sinner.
-
- "GEORGE STOBART."
-
-She put the letter away in a secret drawer of her bureau, but she did
-not read it a second time. The lines were engraved upon her memory. She
-was angry with him. She was sorry for him.
-
-The friend was lost, but the world remained; and Lady Kilrush flung
-herself with a new zest and eagerness into the modish whirlpool.
-
-London was empty, but Tunbridge Wells was at the zenith. She took
-the handsomest lodging in the little town, a stone's throw from the
-Pantiles, with drawing-room windows looking over the Common, and
-commanding all the gaiety of the place. She invited Patty Granger and
-her General to spend the season with her, having an idea that her
-old friend's joyous trifling would help her to be light-hearted and
-prevent her brooding upon the past. She had not omitted Mrs. Granger's
-name last season when sending out cards for her drums and dances; but
-this invitation to Tunbridge was a more intimate thing, and Patty was
-overwhelmed by her kindness. In the cosmopolitan crowd at the Wells, in
-a company where German princes and English dukes rubbed shoulders with
-tradesmen's wives from Smock-alley, and pickpockets newly released from
-the Counter, Antonia's beauty and reckless expenditure secured her a
-numerous following, and made her conspicuous everywhere. She could not
-saunter across the Common with Mrs. Granger or Sophy Potter without
-attracting a crowd of acquaintance, who hung upon her steps like the
-court about the old King or the Princess of Wales.
-
-Miss Potter declared that the Wells was like heaven. In London she saw
-very little fine company, and only went abroad with her mistress when
-her ladyship visited the poor, or drove on shopping expeditions to the
-city. But manners were less formal at the Wells; and Sophy went to
-picnics and frisked up and down the long perspective of country dances
-hand in hand with persons of quality.
-
-Never had Sophy known her mistress so eager for amusement as during
-this particular season. She was ready to join in every festivity,
-however trivial, however foolish, and diversions that had a spice of
-eccentricity, like Lady Caroline Petersham's minced-chicken supper at
-Vauxhall, seemed to please her most. She entertained lavishly, gave
-breakfasts, picnics, dances, suppers--had a crowd at her tea-table
-every evening; and Mr. Pitt being at the Wells that year, she gave
-several entertainments in his honour, notably an excursion to Bayham
-Abbey, in a dozen coaches and four, and a picnic dinner among the
-ruins, at which the great minister--who had but lately grasped the
-sceptre of supreme power--flung off the burden of public care, forgot
-his gout and the dark cloud of war in Europe and America, Frederick's
-reverses, misfortunes in Canada, while he sunned himself in Antonia's
-beauty, and absorbed her claret and champagne.
-
-"I could almost wish for another earthquake that would bury me under
-these antique walls," he said gaily. "Sure, madam, to expire at your
-feet were a death more illustrious than the Assyrian funeral pile."
-
-"Sardanapalus was a worthless sybarite, sir, and the world could spare
-him. England without Mr. Pitt must cease to be a nation."
-
-"Nay, but think how glad Newcastle would be, and how the old King would
-chuckle if a falling pillar despatched me. 'Twould be the one pleasing
-episode in my history. His Majesty would order me a public funeral, in
-his gratitude for my civility in dying. Death is a Prime Minister's ace
-of trumps, and his reputation with posterity sometimes hangs on that
-last card."
-
-The minister's visit to Tunbridge was shortened by the news of
-the taking of Cape Breton and the siege of Louisbourg, the first
-substantial victory that English arms had won in America since
-Braddock's disastrous rout on the Monongahela. Amherst and his dragoons
-had landed on that storm-beaten coast in the nick of time. The
-aristocratic water-drinkers and the little shopkeepers at the Wells
-rejoiced as one man. Bonfires blazed on the Common, every window was
-illuminated, martial music was heard on every side, toasts were drunk,
-glasses broken, and a general flutter of excitement pervaded the Wells,
-while in London a train of French standards were being carried to
-Westminster Abbey, to the sound of trumpets and kettle-drums, and the
-wild huzzas of the populace.
-
-Antonia wondered whether George Stobart had fallen among the English
-dragoons fighting in the trenches, of whose desperate courage old
-General Granger talked so glibly. She heard of heavy losses on both
-sides. She pictured him lying among the unconsidered dead, while the
-cross of St. George waved above the shattered ramparts, and the guns
-roared their triumphant thunder. She read the newspapers, half in hope,
-half in fear of finding Stobart's name; but it was not till General
-Amherst's despatches were made public some time later that her mind was
-set at rest, and she knew that he lived and had done well.
-
-That little season at Tunbridge, where people had to stay six weeks
-for a water-cure, was a crowning triumph for Antonia as a woman of
-_ton_. Never till now had she so concentrated her thoughts upon the
-futilities of pleasure, never so studied every bill of fare, or so
-carefully planned every entertainment. Her originality and her lavish
-outlay made her the cynosure of that smaller great world at the Wells.
-Everybody applauded her taste, and anticipated her ruin.
-
-"The woman has a genius for spending, which is much rarer than a genius
-for saving," said a distinguished gourmand, who dined twice a week
-at Antonia's lodgings. "A fool can waste money; but to scatter gold
-with both hands and make every guinea flash requires a great mind. I
-doubt Lady Kilrush will die a pauper; but she will have squandered her
-fortune like a gentlewoman."
-
-Lady Peggy Laroche was at the Wells, and spent most of her leisure with
-Antonia. While approving her _protegee's_ taste she urged the necessity
-of prudence.
-
-"Prythee, child, do not fancy your income inexhaustible. Remember,
-there is a bottom to every well."
-
-"Dear Lady Peggy, Goodwin could tell you that I am a woman of business,
-and have a head for figures. I am spending lavishly here, but when the
-season is over I shall go to Kilrush with Sophy and a footman, and
-mope through the winter with my books and my harpsichord; and if your
-ladyship would condescend to share my solitude I should need no more
-for happiness."
-
-"You are vastly kind, child, to offer to bury me before my time; but
-I am too old to hibernate, and must make the most of my few remaining
-winters in London or Paris."
-
-"If you knew the romance and wild grandeur of that granite coast."
-
-"Bond Street is romantic enough for me, _ma douce_. I depend upon
-living faces, not granite rocks, for my amusement, and would rather
-have the trumpery gossip of St. James's than the roar of the Atlantic."
-
-After having sparkled at the Wells and lived in a perpetual _va et
-vient_ of modish company, Lady Kilrush found life on the shores of
-the Atlantic somewhat monotonous. Her nearest neighbours were ten
-miles off. Dean Delany's clever wife could find hourly diversions in a
-country seat near Dublin, where she could give a dance or a big dinner
-every week, and had all the Court people from the Castle running in
-upon her; but at Kilrush the solitude was only broken by visits from
-Irish squires and their wives, who had nothing in common with the
-mistress of the house. Antonia could have endured an unbroken isolation
-better than the strain of trying to please uninteresting acquaintance.
-She devoted a good deal of her leisure to visiting the cottagers on her
-own estate, and ministered to every case of distress that came within
-her knowledge, whether on her own soil or an absentee neighbour's. She
-took very kindly to the peasantry, accepted their redundant flattery
-with a smile, and lavished gifts on old and young. To the old, the
-_invalides du travail_, her heart went out with generous emotion. To
-have laboured for a lifetime, patient as a horse in the shafts, and to
-be satisfied with so little in the end; just the winter seat by the
-smouldering turf, by courtesy a fire; just to lie in front of the hut
-and bask in the summer sunshine; just not to die of starvation.
-
-The Gaffers and Gammers fared well while Antonia was at Kilrush; and
-before leaving she arranged with her steward for tiny pensions to be
-paid regularly until her return.
-
-"You are not to be worse off for my going to England," she told one of
-her old men, when she bade him good-bye.
-
-"Sure, me lady, we should be the worse off for want of your beautiful
-face, if you was to lave us the Bank of Ireland," replied Gaffer.
-
-She went back to London in December, in a Government yacht that
-narrowly escaped calamity, after waiting at Waterford over a week for
-favourable weather. But Antonia enjoyed the storm; it thrilled in every
-nerve, and set her pulses beating, and gave her something to think of,
-after the emptiness of a life too free from worldly cares.
-
-She could return to her house in St. James's Square without fear
-of being troubled by the presence of the man who had made the word
-friendship a sound that sickened her. That traitor was far away.
-
-Assured of his absence, she went back to the slums by Lambeth Marsh,
-where she was received with rapture. Her pensioners had not been
-forgotten while she was away, since she had provided for all the
-most pressing cases; but her return was like the coming of April
-warmth after a bitter winter. Everywhere she heard lamentations at
-Mr. Stobart's departure, although Wesley had filled his place with
-another of his helpers, an indefatigable worker, but a raw youth of
-unsympathetic manners and uncompromising doctrine. He was barely civil
-to Lady Kilrush when they happened to meet, having been told that
-she was an unbeliever, and did all in his power to discourage her
-ministrations among his people.
-
-"If your ladyship came to them with the Bible in your hand they might
-be the better for your kindness," he said severely; "but the carnal
-comforts of food and drink, which your generosity provides for them,
-only serve to make them careless of everlasting bliss."
-
-"What, sir, would you starve them into piety? Do you think 'tis only
-because they are miserable upon earth that Christians long for the joys
-of heaven? That is to hold the everlasting kingdom mighty cheap. Your
-great Exemplar had a broader philosophy, and did not disdain to feed as
-well as to teach His followers."
-
-Antonia's heart was moved at the thought of the pretty young wife
-deserted by her husband, and living in solitude, without the
-distractions of fine company, or the delight in books and music which
-filled the blank spaces in her own life. Impelled by this compassionate
-feeling, she called on Mrs. Stobart one wintry afternoon, soon after
-her return from Ireland, and was received with gratification which was
-mainly due to the splendour of her coach, and the effect it would have
-on the neighbours.
-
-"Your ladyship has doubtless heard that my husband has gone back to
-the army?" said Lucy, when her visitor was seated in the prim front
-parlour, where the mahogany furniture shone with an increased polish,
-and where there prevailed that chilling primness which marks a room
-that nobody uses. "It was a sad blow to me and to Mr. Wesley; but
-George always hankered after his old profession, though he knew it was
-Satan's choicest trade."
-
-"Nay, Mrs. Stobart, I cannot think that Satan has any part in the
-calling of men who fight and die for their country. I doubt your
-husband's life in America will be as unselfish as his life in Lambeth."
-
-"'He has taken his hand from the plough.' That is what Mr. Wesley said.
-'He was the best of my helpers, and he has deserted me,' he said. And
-Mr. Wesley was sorry for my trouble in being forsaken by my husband."
-
-She shed a few feeble tears as she dwelt upon her own dull life; but
-she did not seem deeply impressed by the thought of her husband's
-peril, or the chance that he might never come back to her.
-
-"It was a cruel disappointment for me," she complained. "He had
-promised to join the Church of England, and then we might have had a
-vicarage, and he would have stayed at home, and only preached in his
-parish church. He had promised to be a kinder husband."
-
-"Kinder? Oh, Mrs. Stobart, was he ever unkind?" exclaimed Antonia,
-kindling with the sense of injustice. She had noted his gentleness--his
-supreme patience with the unsympathetic wife; so inferior to him in
-mind and heart--a pink and white nullity.
-
-"It was unkind to leave me while he went about the country preaching;
-it was unkind to go back to the army and leave me alone for years, more
-like a widow than a wife. And father comes and teases me for money now
-that George is away. He dursn't ask for more than his allowance while
-George was here."
-
-"Your father is--a troublesome person?" inquired Antonia.
-
-"I should think he was indeed. He kept himself tolerably sober while
-mother was alive. She used to spend every penny on drink, and he
-used to beat her for it, and both of them used to beat me. It was
-a miserable life. Mother died in the hospital three years ago; and
-when she was gone the thought of his unkindness to her seemed to prey
-upon father's mind, and he was always at the gin-shop, and lost his
-situation in the printing-office where he had worked half his life; and
-then he came to us with a pitiful story, and my husband gave him ten
-shillings a week, which was more than he could afford, without denying
-himself, only George never minded. I don't think he would have minded
-if he had been obliged to live like John the Baptist in the wilderness."
-
-"And now Mr. Stobart is gone your father troubles you?"
-
-"Indeed he does, madam. He comes for his money on a Saturday, looking
-such an object that I'm ashamed for the servant to see him; and then
-he comes again on Tuesday or Wednesday, and tells me he's starving,
-and sheds tears if I refuse to give him money. And I'm obliged to
-refuse him, or he wouldn't leave me a sixpence to keep the house. And
-then father goes down the steps abusing me, and using the wickedest
-language, on purpose for the neighbours to hear him. And he comes again
-and again, sometimes before the week is out."
-
-The idea of this sordid trouble oppressed Antonia like a nightmare.
-She thought of her own father--so kind, so pleasant a comrade, yet
-unprincipled and self-indulgent. It needed perhaps only the lower grade
-to have made him as lost a creature.
-
-"Let me give you some money for him," she said eagerly. "It will be a
-pleasure for me to help you."
-
-"Oh, no, no, madam. I know how generous you are; but George would never
-forgive me if I took your ladyship's money. Besides, it would only do
-father harm. He would spend it upon drink. There's no help for it.
-Father is my cross, and I must just bear it. He has come to live in
-the Marsh, on purpose to be near me; and he makes believe that he's
-likely to get work as a book-keeper at the glass works. As if anybody
-would employ a man that's never sober! And he's a clever man too, your
-ladyship, and has read more books than most gentlemen. But he never
-went to a place of worship, and he never believed in anything but his
-own cleverness. And see where that has brought him! Sure I beg your
-ladyship's pardon," concluded Lucy, hastily, "I forgot that you was of
-father's way of thinking."
-
-"You have at least the consolation of your son's affection, Mrs.
-Stobart, and it must be pleasant for you to watch the growth of his
-intelligence. Is he as healthy and as handsome as when I saw him last?"
-
-"Handsomer, I think, your ladyship."
-
-"Will he be home from school presently? I should love to see him."
-
-"Nay, madam, that's impossible, for he is living at the Bath with his
-grandmother, Lady Lanigan. Mr. Stobart wrote to her before he left
-Portsmouth, a farewell letter that melted her hard heart. 'Twas after
-the news of the taking of Louisburg, when her ladyship came here in a
-terrible fantig, and almost swooned when she saw the boy, and swore he
-was the image of his father at the same age."
-
-"And she carried him away with her on a visit?"
-
-"Yes, madam. She begged so hard that I could not deny her. For you
-see, madam, he is her only grandson; and there's a fortune going
-begging, as you may say. His father was too proud to try and bring her
-round; but if Georgie behaves prettily, who knows but she may send him
-to Eton--where his father was bred--and leave him the whole of her
-fortune?"
-
-"True, madam. No doubt you have done best for your boy. But I fear you
-must feel lonely without him."
-
-"Oh, I missed him sadly for the first week or two, madam; but a child
-in a house, where there's but one servant, is a constant trouble. In
-and out, in and out with muddy shoes, morning, noon, and night. 'Tis
-clean, clean, clean after them all day long, and it makes one's girl
-cross and impudent. He has his grandma's own woman to wash and dress
-him, and a footman to change his shoes when he comes in from the
-street."
-
-"Is the visit to last long?"
-
-"That depends upon his behaviour, and if her ladyship cottons to him."
-
-"Well, so long as you can do without him, of course 'tis best," said
-Antonia, in a dull voice.
-
-Her mind was wandering to that exile whose name she would not
-pronounce. To have sacrificed station and fortune for such a wife as
-this--for a woman without heart or brains, who had not enough natural
-feeling to tremble for a husband in danger, or to grieve at the absence
-of an only child!
-
- * * * * *
-
-After a few visits to her Lambeth pensioners, Lady Kilrush wearied of
-the work, and allowed herself to be charitable by deputy. She hated
-the starched prig who had taken Stobart's place in the parish. She
-missed the quick sympathy, the strength and earnestness of the man who
-had helped her to understand the world's outcasts; and as her social
-engagements were more numerous than last winter, she abandoned the
-attempt to combine philanthropy with fashion, and made Sophy her deputy
-in the Marsh.
-
-Sophy had a tender heart, and loved to distribute her ladyship's
-bounty. She liked the priggish Wesleyan, Mr. Samson Barker, who
-lectured and domineered over her, but who was a conscientious youth,
-and innocent of all evil, the outcome of nonconformist ancestors,
-a feeble specimen of humanity, with a high narrow forehead, pale
-protuberant eyes, and a receding chin. Impressed by his mental and
-moral superiority, Sophy, who began by ridiculing him, soon thought him
-beautiful, and held it one of her highest privileges to sit under his
-favourite preacher, Mr. William Romaine, at St. Olave's, Southwark,
-and to be allowed to invite Mr. Barker to Antonia's tea-table now and
-then, where his appearance was a source of amusement to the rest of
-the company, who declared that her ladyship was at heart a Methodist,
-though she read Tindal and Toland, and affected liberal ideas.
-
-"Before next season we shall hear of you among the Lady Bettys and
-Lady Fannys who throng Lady Huntingdon's drawing-room, and intoxicate
-their senses with Whitefield's raving," said one of her adorers; "and
-then there will be no more dinners and suppers, no more dances and
-drums--only gruel and flannel petticoats for old women."
-
-Lady Kilrush drained the cup of London pleasures that winter, and was
-a leader in every aristocratic dissipation, shining like a star in all
-the choicest assemblies, but so erratic in her movements as to win for
-herself the sobriquet of "the Comet."
-
-"The last spot of earth where 'twould seem reasonable to expect you is
-the place where one is most likely to find you," Mr. Walpole told her
-one night, at a dinner of hard-drinking and hard-playing politicians,
-where Antonia, Lady Coventry, and a couple of duchesses were the only
-women in a party of twenty.
-
-She had adorers of every age, from octogenarian peers, and generals
-who had fought under Marlborough, to beardless boys just of age and
-squandering their twenty thousands a year at White's and the Cocoa
-Tree. The fact that she kept every admirer at the same distance made
-her irresistible. To be adamant where other women were wax; to receive
-the flatteries of trifling fops, the ardent worship of souls of flame,
-with the same goddess air, smiling at her victims, kind to all, but
-particular to none! That deliberate and stately North Briton, Lord
-Dunkeld, hung upon her footsteps with an untiring devotion that was the
-despair of a score of young women of quality, who wanted to marry him,
-and thought they had pretensions for the place.
-
-'Twas a season of unusual gaiety, as if the thirst for pleasure were
-intensified by the news of the war, and the consciousness of fellow
-countrymen starving, perishing, massacred, scalped, or burnt alive, in
-the pathless forests across the Atlantic. The taking of Louisburg had
-set all England in a tumult of pride and delight, to the forgetfulness
-of the catastrophe at Ticonderoga, where there had been terrible losses
-under Abercromby, and of the death of Lord Howe, the young, the ardent,
-the born leader of men, slain by the enemy's first volley.
-
-George Stobart's name figured in Amherst's despatches. He had fought
-in the trenches with his old regiment; he had been with Wolfe in the
-storming of Gallows Hill; and had been recommended for a commission on
-account of his gallant behaviour. People complimented Antonia about her
-"pious friend."
-
-The King was near dying at the beginning of the winter, and the lion at
-the Tower happening to expire of old age, while his Majesty lay ill,
-the royal beast's dissolution was taken as a fatal augury, and his
-master was given over by the gossips. But King George recovered, and
-Sunday parties, drums and masquerades, auctions, ridottos, oratorios,
-operas, plays, and little suppers, went on again merrily all through
-the cold weather.
-
-In the summer of 1759 Lady Kilrush carried out a long-cherished design
-of revisiting Italy. When last in that country her father's critical
-state of health had been a drag upon her movements. She would go there
-now a free agent, with ample leisure to explore the region in which
-she was most keenly interested, those romantic hills above the Lake of
-Como, where her mother's birthplace was to be found.
-
-She took Sophy, her French maid, Rodolphine, and her first footman, who
-was an Italian, and travelled by Ostend and the Hague and the Rhine
-to Basle, then by Lucerne and Fluellen, to the rugged steeps of the
-St. Gothard, loitering on the road, and seeing all the churches and
-picture-galleries that were worth looking at, her travelling carriage
-half full of books, and her maid and footman following in a post-chaise
-with the luggage, which was a lighter load of trunks and imperials than
-a woman of _ton_ might have been supposed to require, her ladyship's
-travelling toilette being of a severe simplicity.
-
-When George II. was king there was a luxury of travelling, which made
-amends for the want of the _train de luxe_ and the _wagon-lit_. It was
-the luxury of slowness; the delicious leisure of long days in the midst
-of exquisite scenery--by lake, and river, and mountain pass--that had
-time to grow into the mind and memory of the traveller; journeys in
-which there were long oases of rest; perfumed summer nights in quiet
-places, where the church bell was the only sound; mornings in obscure
-galleries where one picture in a catalogue of a hundred was a gem to
-be remembered ever after; glimpses of humble lives, saunterings in
-market-places, adventures, perils perhaps, an alarm of brigands, ears
-listening for a sudden shot ringing sharp among snow-clad hills--all
-the terrors, joys, chances, surprises of a difficult road; and at one's
-inn a warmth of welcome and a deferential service that in some wise
-atoned for bad cooking and ill-furnished rooms.
-
-To Antonia that Italian journey offered a delicious repose from the
-fever of London pleasures. After George Stobart's departure for America
-there had been a jarring note in the harmony of life--a note that had
-to be drowned somehow; and hence had come that craving for excitement,
-that hastening from one trivial pleasure to another, which had made her
-so conspicuous a figure in the London of last winter.
-
-In the solemn silence of everlasting hills, in a solitude that to Sophy
-seemed a thing of horror, Antonia thought of her last season; the
-crowded rooms, reeking with odours of pulvilio and melting wax, the
-painted faces, the atmosphere of heat and hair-powder, the diamonds;
-the haggard looks and burning eyes, round the tables where play ran
-high; the hatred and malice; the jests that wounded like daggers; the
-smiles that murdered reputations.
-
-"Shall I ever go back to it all, and think a London season life's
-supreme felicity?" she wondered, standing in front of the Capuchins'
-Hospice, among the granite peaks of the St. Gothard, in the chill
-mountain air, while the mules were being saddled for the descent into
-Italy. They had ridden yesterday morning through the Urnerloch--that
-wonderful passage of two hundred feet through the solid rock, which
-had been made early in the century--by the green meadows of Andermatt,
-and across the Ursern valley; they had wound slowly upward through a
-wild and barren region to the friendly hospice where there was always
-welcome and shelter.
-
-Lady Kilrush had left her English travelling carriage at Lucerne,
-and the journey from Airolo to Como would be made in an Italian
-post-chaise. Her footman was a native of Bellinzona, and was able to
-arrange all the details of their route.
-
-At Como she hired one of the country boats, new from the builders,
-and engaged four stalwart Italian boatmen, who were to be in her
-service while she made a leisurely tour of the lake, stopping wherever
-the scene pleased her fancy, and putting up with the most primitive
-accommodation, provided the inn were clean, and the prospect beautiful.
-
-That year of 1759, remarkable for the success of British arms in
-Europe, Hindostan, and America, the "great year," as Horace Walpole
-calls it, was also a year of golden weather, a summer of sunshine and
-cloudless skies, and Antonia revelled in the warmth and light of that
-lovely scene. It seemed as if every drop of blood in her veins rejoiced
-in the glory of her mother's birthplace. Here, in what spot she knew
-not, but somewhere along these sunlit hills that sloped gently to the
-lake, her mother's early years had been spent. She would have given
-much to find the spot; and in her long rambles with Sophy, or alone,
-she rarely passed a church without entering it, and if she could find
-the village priest rarely left him till he had searched the register
-of marriages for her father's name. But no such name appeared in those
-humble records; and she thought that her father might have carried his
-fugitive bride to Milan, or even into Switzerland, before the marriage
-ceremony was possible; the girl being under age, and the bridegroom a
-heretic. She looked with interest at every villa that sheltered a noble
-family, and questioned the peasants, and the people of the inn, about
-all the important inhabitants of their neighbourhood, hoping to hear in
-such or such a patrician family of a runaway marriage with a wandering
-Englishman. But the old people to whom she chiefly addressed herself
-had no memory of such an event.
-
-It was the beginning of September, and the scene and atmosphere
-had lost nothing of their charm by familiarity, so having made the
-tour of the lake villages, and being somewhat tired of rough fare,
-ill-furnished rooms, and most of all of Sophy's repinings for the
-comforts of St. James's Square, Lady Kilrush hired a villa near the
-quaint little town of Bellagio, a villa perched almost at the point
-of the wooded promontory, with a garden that sloped to the water's
-edge. The villa belonged to one of Antonia's fashionable friends--a
-certain Lady Despard, a banker's widow, who gave herself more airs
-than an empress, and preferred Rome or Florence to London, because
-of the superior consequence her wealth gave her in cities where the
-measure of her rank was not too precisely known. This lady--after
-trying to imitate Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, and live among a peasant
-population--had wearied of her villa and the little town at her
-gates, the church bells, the voices of the fishermen, the feasts and
-processions, and lack of modish company; and her house was to be let
-furnished with all its amenities.
-
-Antonia engaged the villa for a month, at a liberal rent, and
-established herself, with Giuseppe, the Italian footman, as her
-major-domo, and a modest household of his selection; not a household of
-much polish or experience, but of willing hands, smiling faces, eyes
-that sparkled and danced with the golden light of Italy. Antonia was at
-home and happy among these people, who served her as it were upon their
-knees, and whose voices had a note that was like a caress.
-
-"I can understand how my mother loved her garden of roses, her chestnut
-woods, and long terraces where the vines make a roof of shade, and how
-she must have pined in a dull English village--a Lincolnshire village,
-dismal flats without a tree, straight roads, and church steeples, with
-the lead-coloured sea making a level line in the distance, that seems
-like the end of the world. Alas, to her eyes, accustomed to this
-golden land, these mountains climbing up to heaven, how heart-breaking
-it must all have been!"
-
-Summer in Italy, summer on the Lake of Como. Never till now had Antonia
-known what summer means--that perfect glory of sunlight, that magical
-atmosphere, half golden light and half azure haze, in which earthly
-things put on the glory of a dream. Never before had she enjoyed the
-restfulness of a land where the atmosphere and the light are enough for
-happiness, a sensuous happiness, perhaps, but leaving the spirit wings
-free for flight. After the stress and tumult of a London winter, the
-strife of paltry ambitions, the malevolence that called itself wit,
-the aching sense of loneliness in a crowd, what bliss to loll at ease
-in the spacious country boat, under the arched awning, while the oars
-dipped, and the water rippled, and life went by like a sleep! She had
-almost left off remembering the days of the week, the passage of time.
-She only knew that the moon was waning. That great golden disk which
-had bathed the hills in light and tempted her to loiter on the lake
-till midnight, was no more. There was only a ragged crescent that rose
-in the dead of night and filled her with melancholy. She stood at her
-open window, in the dark hour before dawn, drinking the cool sweet air,
-and full of sorrowful thoughts.
-
-Where was George Stobart under that dwindling moon? In what grim and
-frowning wilderness, amidst what desolate waste of mountains, in what
-wild scene of savage warfare, hemmed round by painted foes, deafened by
-war cries more hideous than the howling of the wolves in the midnight
-woods, done to death by the ingenious cruelties of human fiends, or
-dying of famine and neglected wounds, crawling on bleeding feet till
-the wearied body dropped across the narrow track that the tramp of
-soldiers had worn through the wilderness, dying forsaken and alone,
-perhaps, in the pitilessness of a panic flight.
-
-Her heart ached as she thought of him. Alas, why had he been false
-to his own convictions, to his own faith? She knew that he had once
-been sincere, had once been strong in a hope that she could not share.
-When first she knew him he had been a good man. She looked back, and
-recalled the domestic picture--the rustic lawn basking in the June
-sunshine, the warm air perfumed with pinks and southernwood, and the
-husband seated in his garden reading to his wife. She had looked
-down at him from the proud height of her philosophy, had scorned his
-unquestioning belief in things unseen; but she had respected him for
-his renunciation of all the luxuries and pleasures the common herd love.
-
-Of the progress of the American campaign since the victory at Cape
-Breton she knew very little. The posts between Italy and England were
-of a hopeless irregularity, and the newspapers which she had ordered
-to be sent her were more than half of them lost or stopped on the way,
-while an occasional gossiping letter from a fashionable friend told her
-more of the new clothes at the Birthday than the triumphs or reverses
-of British arms. The London papers were at this time more concerned
-about Prince Ferdinand's victory over the French at Minden, and Lord
-George Sackville's strange backwardness in following up the Prince's
-success, than about the fortunes of Amherst or Forbes, and the wild
-warfare of the West.
-
-It was perhaps from the desire to be better informed that Antonia was
-glad to see Lord Dunkeld, who surprised her by alighting from a boat at
-the landing stage of her villa, in the first week of her residence. He
-found her sitting in her garden, dreaming over a book. He had arrived
-at Varenna on the previous evening, he told her, and meant to stop some
-time at the inn, which commanded a fine view of the two lakes, and had
-better accommodation than was usual in out-of-the-way places.
-
-"May one ask what brings your lordship to Italy, when most of the fine
-gentlemen I know are shooting partridges in Norfolk?" Antonia asked,
-when they were seated on a marble bench in front of the lake.
-
-There was a fountain on the lawn near them, and oleanders white and
-red, masses of blossom and delicate lance-shaped leaves, made a screen
-against wind and sun, and there were red roses trailing all along the
-marble balustrade above the lake, and poppies pink, and red, and white,
-and pale pink cyclamen, filled a circular bed at the base of a statue
-of Flora, and all the garden seemed alive with colour and light. A
-double flight of steps, broad and shallow, went down to the water, and
-Dunkeld's boat was moored there, with his two boatmen lounging under
-the awning, idle and contented. It is a stiff pull from Varenna to the
-point, when the wind is blowing from Lecco.
-
-"Will your ladyship scorn me if I confess that I love better to sit
-in an Italian garden than to tramp over a Norfolk stubble? There is a
-delicate freshness in the scent of a turnip field at early morning; but
-I prefer roses, and the company of one woman in the world."
-
-"Oh, my lord, keep your compliments for St. James's. They are out of
-harmony with my life here."
-
-"Am I to have no license to say foolish things, after having crossed
-the Alps to see you?"
-
-"Oh, sir, I am very credulous, but I cannot believe you have been so
-simple as to travel over a thousand miles for a pleasure that you could
-enjoy next month in London."
-
-"I should have died of that other month. I bore your absence as long
-as I could, and questioned all your friends and your hall-porter to
-discover any hope of your return. But no one would satisfy me, and my
-heart sickened of uncertainty. So ten days ago I ordered my chaise for
-Dover, and have scarce drawn rein till last night at Varenna, where
-I heard of your ladyship. Nay, spare me that vexed look. I come as a
-friend, not as an importunate suitor. Do you suppose I forget that I am
-forbid all ecstatic hopes?"
-
-She gave a troubled sigh, and rose from the bench, with an agitated air.
-
-"Lady Kilrush, cannot you believe in friendship?" he asked, following
-her.
-
-"Hardly. I have believed, and have had my confidence betrayed."
-
-"When you told me that I could never be your husband, that a life's
-devotion, the adoration of the Indian for his God, could not move your
-heart to love me, I swore to school myself to indifference, thought
-it was possible to live contentedly without you. I have not learnt
-that lesson, madam; but I have taught myself to think of your merits,
-your perfections, as I might of a sister's; and I ask you to give me
-something of a sister's regard. You need not fear me, madam. Youth and
-the ardour of youth have gone by. I doubt you know that I was unhappy
-in an early attachment, and that the exquisite creature who was to
-have been my wife died in my arms in her father's park, struck by
-lightning. She was but eighteen, and I less than three years older.
-The stroke that should have taken us both, and sealed our love for
-eternity, left me to mourn her, and to doubt God's goodness, till time
-chastened my rebellious thoughts."
-
-"I have heard that sad story, my lord, and have understood why you were
-more serious than other men of your age and circumstances. You have
-been happy in finding the consolations of religion."
-
-"Alas, madam, to be without a fixed hope in a better world is to live
-in the midst of chaos. A Christian's faith is like a lamp burning
-at the end of a long dark passage. No matter if it seem but an
-infinitesimal point of light in the distance, 'twill serve to guide his
-footsteps through the gloom."
-
-"Would not duty, honour, conscience do as much for him?"
-
-"Perhaps, madam, since conscience is but another name for the fear
-of God. Be sure the time will come when a mind so superior as yours
-will be awakened to the truth; but I doubt the Christian religion
-has suffered in your esteem by your acquaintance with Mr. Stobart.
-The conversation of a fanatical Methodist, the jargon of Wesley and
-Whitefield, their unctuous cant repeated parrot-wise by a tyro, could
-but move your disgust."
-
-"Indeed, my lord, you wrong my cousin, George Stobart," Antonia
-answered eagerly. "He is no canter--no parrot-echo of another man's
-words. His sacrifice of fortune and station should vouch for his
-sincerity."
-
-"Oh, we will say he is of the stuff that makes martyrs, if your
-ladyship pleases; but 'tis a pity that a gentleman of birth and
-breeding--a soldier--should have taken up with the Methodist crew.
-Some one told me he has the gift of preaching. I doubt he expounds
-the doctrine of irresistible grace in Lady Huntingdon's kitchen,
-for the vulgar, while Whitefield thumps a cushion in her ladyship's
-drawing-room."
-
-"My cousin has left off preaching for these two years last past, sir,
-and is fighting for his king in North America."
-
-"Gad's life! Then he is a better man than I took him for, when his
-puritan countenance and grey suit passed me in your ladyship's hall.
-The American campaign is no child's play. Even our sturdy Highlanders
-have been panic-struck at the cruelties of those Indian fiends, whose
-war-whoops surpass the Scottish yell as a tiger outroars an ox."
-
-"Can your lordship tell me the latest news of the war?"
-
-"'Tis a tale of barren victories and heavy losses. Englishmen and
-colonials have fought like heroes, and endured like martyrs; but I
-doubt the end of the campaign is still far off. The effect of last
-year's victory at Louisburg, at which we in England made such an
-uproar, was weakened by Abercromby's defeat at Ticonderoga, and by
-Amherst's refusal to risk an immediate attack upon Quebec. Had he taken
-Wolfe's advice Canada would have been ours before now; but Amherst ever
-erred on the side of caution. He is all for forts and block-houses,
-deliberation and defence--Wolfe all for the glorious hazards of attack."
-
-"Then I doubt my cousin, Mr. Stobart, would sooner be with Wolfe than
-with Amherst."
-
-"Is the gentleman such a fire-eater?"
-
-"I believe he loves war, and would hate shilly-shally no less than Mr.
-Wolfe," Antonia answered, with a deep blush, and a sudden embarrassment.
-
-The desperate mood in which Stobart left England had been in her mind
-as she spoke.
-
-"Well, if he is with Amherst he has not seen much fighting since he
-left Cape Breton. Does he not write to you occasionally?"
-
-"No, he writes only to his wife, and not often to her."
-
-"'Tis not easy for a soldier on the march through a wilderness to
-despatch a letter--or even to write one," said Lord Dunkeld.
-
-After this his lordship's boat was moored by the villa landing-stage in
-some hour of every day. His society was not unpleasant to Antonia in
-her Italian solitude. He had sworn to be her friend; and she thought
-she had at last discovered a man capable of friendship. She had no fear
-of being taken off her guard, shocked and insulted, as she had been by
-George Stobart. Here was no slumbering volcano, no snake in the grass,
-only a grave and dignified gentleman, of unimpeachable honour, and an
-old-fashioned piety, fully impressed by his own importance, who would
-fain have won her for his wife, but who, disappointed in that desire,
-wished to keep her for his friend.
-
-He was six-and-thirty years of age, and that tragedy of his youth had
-exercised a sobering influence over all his after-life. He was a fine
-classical scholar, and had read much, and travelled much, but showed
-himself a true Briton by his ignorance of every living language except
-his own. A courier and a French valet saved him all communication
-with innkeepers and their kind, and a smile or a stately wave of the
-hand sufficed to make his wishes known to his Varenna boatmen. He
-loved Italy as a picture, without wanting to get any nearer the living
-figures in the foreground.
-
-There was a festa at Bellagio on the Sunday after his arrival--a festa
-of thanksgiving for the fruits of the year, and he attended Antonia and
-Sophy to the church, where there was to be a solemn service, and the
-priestly benediction upon gifts provided by the faithful, which were
-afterwards to be sold by auction for the benefit of church and poor.
-
-The piazza in front of the church was dazzling in the fierce afternoon
-sunshine when Antonia and Sophy climbed the steep street, and found
-themselves among the populace standing about the square, the women
-with babies in their arms, and little children at their knees, and the
-maimed and halt and blind and deaf and dumb, who seem to make up half
-the population of an Italian town on a Sunday afternoon.
-
-The natives gazed in admiring wonder at the beautiful face under the
-broad Leghorn hat, with white ostrich feathers and diamond buckle,
-the tall figure in the straight simplicity of white muslin and a long
-blue sash, that almost touched the points of the blue kid shoes, the
-beautiful throat and pearl necklace showing above the modest muslin
-kerchief. Sophy was in white muslin also, but Sophy being low in
-figure, must needs affect a triple frilled skirt and a frilled muslin
-cape, which gave her the shape of a penwiper.
-
-"Did I not know you superior to all petty arts I might say you dressed
-your waiting-woman to be a foil to your beauty," Lord Dunkeld told
-Antonia, when Sophy was out of earshot.
-
-"Miss Potter chooses her own clothes, and I can never persuade her to
-wear anything but the latest fashion. She has but to see the picture
-of a new mode in the _Ladies' Magazine_, and she is miserable till she
-tries it on her own person."
-
-They went into the church, where the hot sunlight was intensified by
-the pervading decoration, and the high altar glowed like a furnace.
-The marble pillars were covered with crimson brocade, and long crimson
-curtains hung from the roof, making a tent of warm rich red, the
-scarlet vestments of the acolytes striking a harsher note against the
-crimson glow.
-
-Three priests in richly embroidered copes officiated at the altar,
-and between the rolling thunder of the organ came the sound of loud
-strident voices chanting without accompaniment, while children's treble
-pipes shrilled out alternate versicles. The congregation consisted
-mostly of women, wearing veils, white or black.
-
-Antonia stood by a pillar near the door, enduring the heated atmosphere
-as long as she could, but she had to leave the church before the end
-of the service, followed by Sophy. Lord Dunkeld found them seated
-in the piazza, where they could wait for the procession, and watch
-the tributes of the pious being carried into the church by a side
-door--huge cakes, castles and temples in ornamental pastry, baskets of
-fruit, a dead hare, live fowls, birds in a cage, a fir tree with grapes
-and peaches tied to the branches, a family of white kittens mewing and
-struggling in a basket.
-
-The train of priests and acolytes came pouring out into the sunshine,
-gorgeous in gold and brocade, the band playing a triumphal march. After
-the officiating priests came a procession of men in monkish robes,
-some struggling under the weight of massive crosses, the rest carrying
-tapers that burnt pale in the vivid light; some with upright form and
-raven hair, others the veterans of toil, with silvery locks and dark
-olive faces, strong and rugged features, withered hands seamed with
-the scars of labour; and following these came women of every age, from
-fifteen to ninety, their heads draped with white or black veils, but
-their faces uncovered.
-
-Lord Dunkeld surveyed them with a critical eye. "Upon my soul, I did
-not think Italy could show so much ugliness," he said.
-
-"Oh, but most of the girls are pretty."
-
-"The girls, yes--but the women! They grow out of their good looks
-before they are thirty, and are hags and witches when an Englishwoman's
-mature charms are at the zenith. Stay, there is a pretty roguish
-face--and--look, look, madam, the girl next her--the tall girl--great
-Heaven, what a likeness!"
-
-He ran forward a few paces to get a second look at a face that had
-startled him out of his Scottish phlegm--a face that was like Antonia's
-in feature and expression, though the colouring was darker and less
-delicate.
-
-"Did you see that tall girl with the blue bead necklace?" Dunkeld asked
-Antonia, excitedly.
-
-"I could not help seeing her, when you made such a fuss."
-
-"She is your living image--she ought to be your younger sister."
-
-"I have no sisters."
-
-"Oh, 'tis a chance likeness, no doubt. Such resemblances are often
-stronger than any you can find in a gallery of family portraits."
-
-Antonia turned to a little group of women close by, whom she had
-already questioned about the people in the procession. Did they know
-the girl in the blue necklace?
-
-Yes, she was Francesca Bari. She lived with her grandfather, who had a
-little vineyard on the hill yonder, about a mile from the piazza where
-they were standing. The signorina had noticed her? She was accounted
-the prettiest girl in the district, and she was as good as she was
-pretty. Her mother and father were dead, and she worked hard to keep
-her grandfather's house in order, and to bring up her brother and
-sisters.
-
-Dunkeld's interest in the girl began and ended in her likeness to the
-woman he loved; but Antonia was keenly interested, and early next
-morning was on her way to the hill above the Lecco lake, alone and
-on foot, to search for the dwelling of the Baris. She was ever on
-the alert to discover any trace of her mother's kindred; and it was
-possible that some branch of her race had sunk to the peasant class,
-and that the type which sometimes marks a long line of ancestry might
-be repeated here. Antonia was not going to shut her eyes to such a
-possibility, however humiliating it might be. Offshoots of the greatest
-families may be found in humble circumstances.
-
-She passed a few scattered houses along the crest of the hill, and
-some women picking grapes in a vineyard close to the road told her the
-way to Bari's house. His vineyard was on the slope of the hill facing
-Lierna.
-
-Less than half an hour's walk by steep and rugged paths, up and down
-hill, brought her to a house with bright ochre walls and dilapidated
-blue shutters, standing in a patch of garden, where great golden
-pumpkins sprawled between rows of cabbages and celery, under fig-trees
-covered with purple fruit, and apple and pear trees bent with age and
-the weight of their rosy and russet crop. A straggling hedge of roses
-and oleander divided the garden from the narrow lane, while beyond,
-the vines joined hands in green alleys along the terraced slope of the
-hill, sheltered by a little olive wood.
-
-The girl with the blue necklace was digging in the garden. Antonia
-could see her across the red roses where the hedge was lowest. A child
-of three or four years old was sitting on a basket close by, and two
-older children were on their knees, weeding a cabbage bed. They were
-poorly clad, but they looked clean, healthy, and happy.
-
-The girl heard the flutter of Antonia's muslin gown, and looked up,
-with her foot upon her spade. She wiped the perspiration from her
-forehead with a gaudy cotton handkerchief.
-
-"May I take one of your roses?" Antonia asked, smiling at her across
-the gap in the hedge.
-
-"Si, si," cried Francesca, "as many as the signorina likes. There are
-plenty of them."
-
-She ran to the hedge and began to pluck the roses, in an eager
-hospitality. She was dazzled by the vision of the beautiful face, the
-yellow hat and snowy plumes, the diamond buckle flashing in the sun,
-and something in the smile that puzzled her. Without being conscious of
-the likeness between the stranger's face and that one she saw every
-morning unflatteringly reflected in the dusky little glass under her
-bedroom window, she had a feeling of familiarity with the violet eyes,
-the sunny smile.
-
-Antonia thanked her for her roses, admired her garden, questioned her
-about her brother and sisters, and was at once on easy terms with her.
-Yes, they were motherless, and she had taken care of them ever since
-Etta, the baby, was a fortnight old. Yes, she worked hard every day;
-but she loved work, and when the vintage was good they were all happy.
-Grandfather had not been able to work for over a year; he was very
-old--"_vecchio vecchio_"--and very weak.
-
-"I hope you have relations who help you," said Antonia, "distant
-relations, perhaps, who are richer than your grandfather?"
-
-"No, there is no one. We had an aunt, but she is dead. She died before
-I was born. Grandfather says I am like her. It makes him cry sometimes
-to look at me, and to remember that he will never see her again! She
-was his favourite daughter."
-
-"And was your grandfather always poor--always living here, on this
-little vineyard and garden?" Antonia asked, pale, and with an intent
-look in her eyes.
-
-Had she found them, the kindred for whom she had been looking, in these
-simple peasants, these sons and daughters of toil, so humbly born,
-without a history, the very off-scouring of the earth? Was this the end
-of her father's fairy tale, this the lowly birthplace of the Italian
-bride, the daughter of a noble house, who had fled with the English
-tutor, who had stooped from her high estate to make a love match?
-
-She remembered her father's reluctance to take her to her mother's
-home, or even to tell her the locality. She remembered how he had
-shuffled and prevaricated, and put off the subject, and she thought
-with bitter shame of his falsehoods, his sophistications. Alas, why had
-he feared to tell her the truth? Would she have thought less lovingly
-of her dead mother because of her humble lineage? Surely not! But she
-had been fooled by lies, had thought of herself as the daughter of a
-patrician race, and had cherished romantic dreams of a line of soldiers
-and statesmen, whose ambitions and aspirations, whose courage and
-genius, were in her blood.
-
-The dilapidated walls yonder, the painted shutters rotten with age,
-the gaudy daub of Virgin and Child on the plastered facade, the garden
-of cabbages and pumpkins, and the patch of tall Indian corn! What a
-disillusion! How sorry an end of her dreams!
-
-"Sicuro!" the girl answered, wondering at the fine lady's keen look.
-She had been questioned often about herself, often noticed by people of
-quality, on account of her beauty; but this lady had such an earnest
-air. "Si, si, signorina," she said; "grandfather has always lived here.
-He was born in our cottage. His father was gardener to the Marchese"
-(the grand seigneur of the district, name understood). "And he bought
-the vineyard with his savings when he was an old man. He was a very
-good gardener."
-
-"May I see your grandfather?"
-
-"Sicuro! He will be pleased to see the signorina," the girl answered
-readily, accustomed to be patronized by wandering strangers, and to
-receive little gifts from them.
-
-Antonia followed her into the cottage. An old man was sitting in an
-armchair by the hearth, where an iron pot hung over a few smouldering
-sticks and a heap of grey ashes. He looked up at Antonia with eyes that
-saw all things dimly. The sunshine streamed into the room from the
-open door and window; but her face was in shadow as she went towards
-him with outstretched hand, Francesca explaining that the English lady
-wished to see him.
-
-The patriarch tried to rise from his chair, but Antonia stopped him,
-seating herself by his side.
-
-"I saw your grand-daughter at the festa," she said, "and I wanted to
-see more of her, if I could. Can you guess why I was anxious about her,
-and anxious to be her friend?"
-
-She took off her hat, while the old man looked at her with a slow
-wonder, his worn-out eyes gradually realizing the lines in the splendid
-face.
-
-"I have been told that your Francesca is like me," she said. "Can you
-see any resemblance?"
-
-"_Santo e santissimo!_ Si, si, the signorina is like Francesca, as two
-peaches side by side on the wall yonder; and she is like my daughter,
-my Tonia, my beloved, who died more than twenty years ago. But she is
-not dead to me--no, not to me. I see her face in my dreams. I hear her
-voice sometimes as I wake out of sleep, and then I look round, and call
-her, and she is not there; and I remember that I am an old man, and
-that she left me many, many years ago."
-
-"You had a daughter called Antonia?"
-
-"_Si, signorina_. It was her mother's name also. I called her Tonia.
-She was the handsomest girl between the two lakes. Everybody praised
-her, a good girl, as industrious as she was virtuous. A good and
-dutiful daughter till the Englishman stole her from us."
-
-"Your Antonia married an Englishman?"
-
-"Si, signorina! 'Twas thought a fine marriage for her. He wore a
-velvet coat, and he called himself a gentleman; but he was only a
-schoolmaster, and he came to Varenna in a coach and six with a young
-English milord."
-
-"What was the tutor's name?"
-
-"_Non posso pronunziar' il suo nome._ Tonton, Tonton, Guilliamo."
-
-"Thornton! William Thornton?"
-
-"_Ecco!_" cried the old man, nodding assent. "We had a dairy then, my
-wife and I," he continued, "and the young lord and his governor used
-to leave their boat and walk up the hill to get a drink of milk. They
-paid us handsomely, and we got to look for them every day, and they
-would stop and talk and laugh with my two girls. The governor could
-speak Italian almost like one of us; and the young milord was trying to
-learn; and they used all of them to laugh at his mistakes, and make a
-fool of him. Well, well, 'twas a merry time for us all."
-
-"Did you consent to your daughter's marriage?"
-
-"_Chi lo sa? Forse! Non diceva ne si ne no._ He was a gentleman, and
-I was proud that she should marry above her station. But he told me a
-bundle of lies. He pretended to be a rich man, and promised that he
-would bring her to Italy once a year. And then he took her away, in
-milord's coach, and they were married at Chiavenna, where he lied to
-the priest, as he had lied to me, and swore he was a good Catholic. He
-sent me the certificate of their marriage, so that I might know my
-daughter was an honest woman; but he never let me see her again."
-
-He paused in a tearful mood.
-
-"Perhaps it was not his own fault that he did not keep his promise,"
-Antonia pleaded. "He may have been too poor to make such a journey."
-
-"Yes, he was as poor as Job. Tonia wrote to me sometimes, and she told
-me they were very poor, and that she hated her English home, and pined
-for the garden and the vineyard, and the hills and lakes. She was
-afraid she would die without ever seeing us again. Her letters were
-full of sorrow. I could see her tears upon the page. And then there
-came a letter from him, with a great black seal. She was dead--_Ma non
-si muove foglia che Iddio non voglia_. 'Tis not for me to complain!"
-
-The feeble frame was shaken by the old man's sobs. Antonia knelt on the
-brick floor by his chair, and soothed him with gentle touches and soft
-words. She was full of tender pity; but there was the feeling that she
-was stooping from her natural level to comfort a creature of a lower
-race, another order of being, with whom she could have no sympathy.
-
-And he was her grandfather. His blood was in her veins. From him she
-inherited some of the qualities of her heart and brain: not from
-statesmen or heroes, but from a peasant, whose hands were gnarled and
-roughened by a lifetime's drudgery, whose thoughts and desires had
-never travelled beyond his vineyard and patch of Indian corn.
-
-Her grandfather, living in this tumble-down old house, where the rotten
-shutters offered so poor a defence against foul weather, the floods
-and winds of autumn and winter, where the crumbling brick floor had
-sunk below the level of the soil outside: living as peasants live,
-and suffering all the deprivations and hardships of extreme poverty,
-while she, his own flesh and blood, had squandered thousands upon the
-caprices of a woman of fashion. And she found him worn out with toil,
-old and weak, on the brink of the grave perhaps. Her wealth could do
-but little for him.
-
-She had no doubt of his identity. The story of his daughter's marriage
-was her mother's story.
-
-There was no room for doubt, yet she shrank with a curious restraint
-from revealing the tie that bound her to him. She was full of generous
-pity for a long life that had known so few of this world's joys; but
-the feeling of caste was stronger than love or pity. She was ashamed
-of herself for feeling such bitter mortification, such a cruel
-disappointment. Oh, foolish pride which she had taken for an instinct
-of good birth! Because she was beautiful and admired, high-spirited and
-courageous, she must needs believe that she sprang from a noble line,
-and could claim all the honour due to race. Her father had lied to her,
-and she had believed the flattering fable. She could not reconcile
-herself to the humiliating truth so far as to claim her new-found
-kindred. But she was bent upon showing them all possible kindness
-short of that revelation. They were so poor, so humble, that she might
-safely play the part of benefactress. They had no pride to be crushed
-by her favours. She questioned the old man about his health, while
-the girl stood by the doorway listening, and the children's silvery
-voices sounded in the garden outside. Had he been ill long; did he
-suffer much; had he a doctor? He had been ailing a long time, but as
-for suffering, well, he had pains in his limbs, the house was damp
-in winter, but there was more weakness than suffering. "Also the ass
-when he is tired lies down in the middle of the road, and can go no
-farther," he said resignedly. As for a doctor; no, he had no need of
-one. The doctor would only bleed him; and he had too little blood as
-it was. One of his neighbours--an old woman that some folks counted a
-witch, but a good Catholic for all that--had given him medicine of her
-own making that had done him good.
-
-"I think a doctor would do you more good, if you would see one. There
-is a doctor at Bellagio who came to see my woman the other day when she
-had a touch of fever. He seemed a clever man."
-
-"_Si signorina, ma senza denari non si canta messa._ Clever men want to
-be paid. Your doctor would cost me the eyes of the head."
-
-"You shall have as much money as ever you want," answered Antonia,
-pulling a long netted purse from her pocket.
-
-The gold showed through the silken meshes, and the old man's eyes
-glittered with greed as he looked at it. She filled his tremulous hands
-with guineas, emptying both ends of the purse into his hollowed palms.
-He had never seen so much gold. The strangers who came to sit under his
-_pergola_, and drink great bowls of new milk from the fawn-coloured
-cows that were his best source of income, thought themselves generous
-if they gave him a _scudo_ at parting: but here was a visitor from
-fairyland raining gold into his hands.
-
-"They are English guineas, and you will gain by the exchange," she
-said, "so you can have the physician to see you every day. He will not
-want to bleed you when he sees how weak you are."
-
-The old man shook his head doubtfully. They were so ready with the
-lancet, those doctors! His eyes were fixed on the guineas, as he tried
-to reckon them. The coins lay in too close a heap to be counted easily.
-
-He broke into a rapture of gratitude, invoking every saint in the
-calendar, and Antonia shivered with pain at the exaggeration of his
-acknowledgments. He thanked her as a wayside beggar would have done.
-His benedictions were the same as the professional mendicants, the
-maimed and halt and blind, gave her when she dropped a coin into a
-basket or a hat. He belonged to the race which is accustomed to taking
-favours from strangers. He belonged to the sons of bondage, poverty's
-hereditary slaves.
-
-She appealed to Francesca.
-
-"Would it not be better for your grandfather if he lived at Bellagio,
-where he would have a comfortable house in a street, and plenty of
-neighbours?" she asked.
-
-"I don't think he would like to leave the vineyard, Signorina; though
-it would be very pleasant to live in the town," answered Francesca.
-
-Her dark eyes sparkled at the thought. It was lonely on the hill,
-where she had only the children to talk to, and her grandfather, whose
-conversation was one long lamentation.
-
-The old man looked up with a scared expression.
-
-"_Ohime! Non posso!_" he exclaimed, "I could not leave the villino. I
-shall die as I have lived, in the villino!"
-
-"Well, you must do what is best pleasing to yourself," Antonia said.
-"All I desire is that you should be happy, and enjoy every comfort that
-money can buy."
-
-She bent down and kissed the sunburnt forehead, so wrinkled and
-weather-beaten after the long life of toil. She asked Francesca to walk
-a little way with her; and they went out into the lane together.
-
-"Your house looks comfortless even in sunshine," Antonia said. "It must
-be worse in winter!"
-
-"_Si, signorina._ It is very cold in bad weather, but grandfather loves
-the villino."
-
-"You might get a carpenter to mend the windows and put new hinges on
-the shutters. They look as if they would hardly shut."
-
-"Indeed, signorina, 'tis long since our shutters have been shut.
-Grandfather is too poor to pay a carpenter. Nothing in the house has
-been mended since I can remember."
-
-"But you have your cows and your vineyard. How is it that he is so
-poor?"
-
-The girl shrugged her shoulders. She knew nothing.
-
-"Is it you who keeps the purse?"
-
-"No, no, _signorina, non so niente_. Grandfather gives me money to pay
-the baker----"
-
-"And the butcher?"
-
-"We do not buy meat. I kill a fowl sometimes, or a rabbit; but for the
-most part we have cabbage soup and polenta."
-
-"Well, you will have plenty of money in future. I shall see to that;
-and you must take care that your grandfather has good food every day,
-and a doctor when he is ailing, and warm blankets for winter. I want
-you both to be happy and well cared for. And you must get a man to dig
-in the garden and carry water for you. I don't like to see a girl work
-as you do."
-
-Francesca stared at the beautiful lady in open wonder. She was
-doubtless mad as a March hare, la Poverina; but what a delightful form
-her madness had taken. It might be that the Blessed Virgin had inspired
-this madness, and sent this lovely lunatic wandering from house to
-house among the deserving poor, scattering gold wherever she found want
-and piety. It was almost a miracle. Indeed, who could be sure that
-this benign lady was not the Blessed One herself, who could appear in
-any manner she pleased, even arrayed in the latest fashion of plumed
-hats and India muslin _negligees?_
-
-Antonia left the girl a little way from the villino, and walked slowly
-down the hill to Bellagio, deep in thought. Alas, alas, to have found
-her mother's kindred, and to feel no thrill of love, no yearning to
-take them to her heart, only the same kind of pity she had felt for
-those poor wretches in Lambeth Marsh, only an eager desire to make
-their lot happier, to give them all good things that money can buy.
-
-"Should I grow to love that old man if I knew him better?" she
-wondered. "Is there some dormant affection in my heart, some hereditary
-love that needs but to be warmed into life by time and custom? God
-knows what I am made of. I do not feel as if I could ever care for that
-poor old man as grandfathers are cared for. My mother's father, and he
-loved her dearly! It is base ingratitude in me not to love him."
-
-She recalled the greedy look that came into the withered old face
-at sight of the gold. A painter need have asked no better model for
-Harpagon. She would have given much not to have seen that look.
-
-She would visit them often, she thought, and would win him to softer
-moods. She would question him about her mother's girlhood, beguile him
-into fond memories of the long-lost daughter, memories of his younger
-days, before grinding poverty had made him so eager for gold. She would
-make herself familiar with Bari and his granddaughter, find out all
-their wants, all their desires, and provide for the welfare of the old
-life that was waning, and the young life with a long future before it.
-She would make age and youth happy, if it were possible. But she would
-not tell them of the relationship that made it her duty to care for
-them. She would let them remember her as the eccentric stranger, who
-had found them in poverty, and left them in easy circumstances; the
-benefactress dropped from the clouds.
-
-To what end should she tell them of kinship if she could not give
-them a kinswoman's love? And she could not. The girl was a beautiful
-creature, kindly, gentle, caressing; but she was a peasant, a peasant
-whose thoughts had never travelled beyond the narrow circle of her
-hills, whose rough knuckles and thick fingers told of years of toil,
-who had not one feeling in common with the cousin bred upon books,
-and plunged in the morning of youth into the most enlightened society
-in Christendom, the London of Walpoles and Herveys, Carterets and St.
-Johns, Pitts and Foxes.
-
-She would not tell them. She could not imagine her lips framing the
-words. She could not say to Francesca, "We are first cousins, the next
-thing to sisters." But she could make them happy. That was possible.
-She could take all needful measures to provide them with a substantial
-income; a competence which should enable them to rebuild the rotten old
-villa, and spend the rest of their days in ease and plenty.
-
-Lord Dunkeld called on her in the evening, and took a dish of tea with
-the two ladies in their garden betwixt sunset and moonrise. He found
-Antonia looking pale and tired.
-
-"She started on one of her solitary rambles early this morning," Sophy
-said; "as if any one ought to walk in this climate, and she was as
-white as her muslin gown when she came home. She had much better have
-idled with me in the boat."
-
-"I did not go far," Antonia said, "but I found some interesting
-people--only peasants. The girl your lordship noticed yesterday in the
-procession."
-
-"The girl who is so like you?" exclaimed Dunkeld. "I thought your
-ladyship was a stranger to at least one of the deadly sins, and knew no
-touch of vanity. But I find you are mortal, and that you had a fancy to
-see a face like your own."
-
-"Yes, I had a fancy to see the girl. And now I want to help her, if I
-can. She is desperately poor."
-
-"Is anybody poor in Italy? I have always thought that Italian peasants
-live upon sunshine and a few ripe figs, and have no use for money."
-
-"They are very poor. The grandfather is old, and ailing. Can you find
-me an honest lawyer here, or at Varenna?"
-
-"For your ladyship I would attempt miracles. I will do my best."
-
-"And as quickly as you can, my lord, for I want to go back to England."
-
-"Grant me the felicity of escorting you when you go, and make me your
-slave in the mean time; though, as I am always that, madam, 'tis a
-one-sided bargain."
-
-"Oh, pray come in our coach with us, my lord," cried Sophy. "I was in a
-panic all the way here, on account of the brigands."
-
-"Heavens! Was your coach attacked?"
-
-"No, no, sir," said Antonia, laughing. "The brigands came no nearer
-than a vague rumour that some of their calling had been heard of above
-Andermatt."
-
-"But who knows what may happen when we are going home, now that the
-days are so much shorter?" protested Sophy.
-
-"If one strong arm and a pair of pistols can help you, Miss Potter----"
-
-"Oh, I shall feel ever so much safer with your lordship in our coach. I
-know if those wretches came--with black masks, perhaps--Giuseppe would
-run away."
-
-Giuseppe was the Italian footman, whom Sophy suspected of being a
-poor-spirited creature, in spite of a figure which would have delighted
-the late King of Prussia.
-
-Antonia went to the villino on the following afternoon, and being
-unable to shake off Lord Dunkeld, allowed him to accompany her. She
-liked his conversation, which diverted her thoughts from brooding
-upon the past, and on George Stobart's peril in the wild world across
-the Atlantic. He filled the place of that brilliant society which had
-been her anodyne for every grief; and she was grateful to him for a
-steadfastness in friendship which promised to last for a lifetime. His
-colder temperament had allowed him to put off the lover and assume the
-friend. He had been strong as a granite pillar where George Stobart had
-proved a broken reed.
-
-They found the girl tying up the vine branches in a long berceau, and
-the old man sitting by the smouldering ashes as he had sat yesterday,
-in a monotony of idleness. The windows had not been mended, and the
-shutters still hung forlornly upon broken hinges.
-
-Antonia asked the girl if she had not been able to find a carpenter to
-do the work.
-
-"Grandfather would not let a carpenter come. He is afraid of the noise."
-
-"And when bad weather comes the rain will come in."
-
-"_Si, signorina;_ the rain always comes in."
-
-"And your broken shutters cannot keep out the cold winds."
-
-"No, signorina; the wind almost blows grandfather out of his chair
-sometimes."
-
-"Then he really ought to let a carpenter come."
-
-The old man was listening intently, and Dunkeld was watching his face.
-
-"They are brigands, those carpenters," he said. "'Tis a waste of money
-to employ them. I don't mind the wind, signorina. Francia can hang up a
-curtain."
-
-"Oh, grandfather, the curtain is an old rag! And the signorina gave you
-money to pay the carpenter."
-
-"_Andiamo adagio, carissima._ I am not going to waste the signorina's
-money on idlers and cheats, nor yet upon doctors. I hate doctors! They
-are knaves, bloodthirsty rogues that want to be paid for sticking a
-knife into a man as if he were a pig!"
-
-Antonia did not argue the point, and left the old man after a few
-kindly words. She was disgusted at his obstinacy, which made it so hard
-a matter to improve his circumstances. She walked some way in silence,
-Dunkeld at her side.
-
-"I fear your new _protege_ is a troublesome subject," he said, "and
-that you will find a difficulty in helping him."
-
-"I cannot understand his objection to having that wretched old barn
-made wind and weather tight."
-
-"I can. The man is a miser. You have given him money, and he wants to
-keep it, to hide it under his mattress, perhaps, and gloat over it in
-the dead of the night. The miser has a keener joy in the touch of a
-guinea than in any indulgence of meat or drink, warmth and comfort,
-that money can buy."
-
-"I fear your lordship has guessed the riddle," Antonia answered,
-wounded to the quick. "I gave him all the gold in my purse yesterday.
-'Twas at least twenty guineas. Well, I must take other means. I will
-send a carpenter to do all the work that is wanted, and take the
-Bellagio doctor to the villino to-morrow morning."
-
-"Will your ladyship be offended if I presume to advise?"
-
-"Offended! I shall think you vastly kind."
-
-"Leave these people alone. The old man is unworthy of your protection.
-The girl is happy in her present condition. Your bounty will but
-administer to her grandfather's avarice, and will not better her life."
-
-"But I must help them--I must, I must," Antonia protested. "It is my
-duty. I cannot let them suffer the ills of poverty while I am rich. I
-must find some way to make their lives easy."
-
-Dunkeld wondered at her vehemence, and pursued the argument no further.
-This passion of charity was but an instinct of her generous nature, the
-desire to share fortune's gifts with the unfortunate.
-
-She returned from this second visit dispirited and unhappy. Was she
-doomed never to be able to esteem those whom she was bound to love?
-She had loved her father fondly, though she had known him unprincipled
-and shifty; but what affection could she feel for this old man against
-whom her class instinct revolted, unless she could find in him humble
-virtues that could atone for humble birth? And she found him sordid,
-untruthful, avaricious.
-
-She called on the local doctor next morning, and went with him to the
-villino, where he diagnosed the old man's ailments as only old age, the
-weakness induced by poor food, and the rheumatic symptoms that were the
-natural result of living in a draughty house. He recommended warmth and
-a generous diet, and promised to call once a week through the coming
-winter, his fee for each visit being something less than an English
-shilling.
-
-After he had gone Antonia sat in the garden with Baptisto Bari and
-his granddaughter for an hour. She had his chair carried into the
-sunshine, and out of the way of the noise, while a couple of workmen
-mended the windows and shutters. She had found a builder in Bellagio,
-and had instructed him to do all that could be done to make the house
-comfortable before winter. He was to get the work done with the least
-possible inconvenience to the family.
-
-Sitting in the quiet garden, while Francesca gathered beans for the
-soup, and while the children sprawled in the sun, playing with some
-toys Antonia had brought them, Bari was easily lured into talking
-of the past, and of the daughter he had loved. All that was best in
-his nature revealed itself when he talked of his sorrow; and Antonia
-thought that the miser's despicable passion had only grown upon him
-after the loss that had, perhaps, blighted his life. And then, when he
-was an old man, death had taken his remaining daughter; and he had been
-left, lonely and heart-broken, with his orphan grandchildren. He had
-begun to scrape and pinch for their support, most likely; and then the
-miser's insane love of money had grown upon him, like some insidious
-disease.
-
-Antonia tried to interest him, and to make excuses for him, and she
-spoke to him very plainly upon the money question. She appealed even to
-his selfishness.
-
-"When I give you money, it is that you may have all the good things
-that money can buy," she said; "good wine and strengthening food,
-warm clothes, a comfortable bed. What is the use of a few guineas in
-a cracked teacup, or hidden in a corner of your mattress?"--Baptisto
-almost jumped out of his chair, and she knew she had hit upon the place
-of his treasure. "What is the use of hoarding money that other people
-will spend and waste, perhaps, when you are dead?"
-
-"No, no, she will not waste it. _Che Diavolo!_ She will give me a
-handsome funeral, and spend all the rest on masses for the good of my
-soul. That is what she will have to do."
-
-"You need not save money for that. If you live comfortably your life
-will be prolonged, most likely; and I promise that you shall have a
-handsome funeral, and the--the masses."
-
-She went again next day, and on the day after, always alone; and the
-old man became more and more at his ease with her; but all that she did
-was done for duty's sake, and she found it harder work to talk to him
-than it had been to talk with poor dying Sally Dormer, by whose bedside
-she had spent many quiet hours. The abyss between them was wider. But
-she felt more affectionately towards Francesca, who adored her almost
-as if she were indeed the celestial lady whose miraculous presence
-every good Catholic is prepared to meet at any solemn crisis of life.
-
-Antonia did not rest till, with the assistance of a banker and lawyer
-at Varenna, she had settled an income of three hundred pounds a year
-upon Baptisto, with reversion to his grandchildren, she herself acting
-as trustee in conjunction with the banker, who was partner in an
-old-established banking house at Milan, of which the Varenna bank--in a
-pavilion in an angle of a garden wall--was a branch.
-
-This done, her mind was at ease, and she prepared for her journey to
-England. She would return, as she had come, by the Low Countries,
-avoiding France on account of the war.
-
-Lord Dunkeld had advised and assisted her in making the settlement on
-the Baris, but she knew that he thought her foolish and quixotic in her
-determination to provide for this particular family.
-
-"I could find you a score of claimants for your bounty, far more
-pathetic cases than Baptisto, if you are so set upon playing the good
-angel," he said. "'Tis a mercy you do not want to provide for the whole
-pauper population upon the same magnificent scale. Three hundred a
-year for an Italian peasant! But a woman's charity is ever a romantic
-impulse; and one can but admire her tenderness, though one may question
-her discretion."
-
-"I may have a reason you cannot fathom," Antonia said gravely.
-
-"Oh, 'tis the heart moves you to this act, not the reason! This world
-would be happier if all women were as unreasonable."
-
-She despised herself for suppressing the motive of her bounty. To be
-praised for generosity, while she was ashamed to acknowledge her own
-kindred, ashamed of her own lowly origin! What could be meaner or more
-degrading? But she thought of Dunkeld's thousand years' pedigree, the
-pride of birth, the instinct of race, which he had so often revealed
-unconsciously in their familiar talk; and it was difficult to sink her
-own pride before so proud a man.
-
-The last day came, and he insisted on accompanying her in her farewell
-visit. She had given him the privileges of a trusted friend, and had
-no excuse for refusing his company.
-
-She told Baptisto Bari what she had done for him.
-
-"You will have seventy-five pounds paid you every quarter," she
-said; "and all you have to do is to spend your money freely, and let
-Francesca buy everything that is wanted for you, and the children, and
-herself. I shall come back next year, and I shall be very sorry and
-very angry if I do not find you living in comfort, and the villino
-looking as handsome as a nobleman's villa."
-
-The old man protested his gratitude, with tears. Yes, he would spend
-his money. He had been spending it. See, there was the magnificent new
-curtain; and he had a pillow for his bed; and a barrel of oil for the
-lamp. They had the lamp lighted every night. And he had coffee--a dish
-of coffee on Sunday--and they had been drinking their milk, and making
-butter for themselves, instead of selling all the milk to the _negozio_
-in Bellagio. Indeed, he had discovered that money was a very useful
-thing when one spent it; though it was also useful to keep it against
-the day of misfortune or death.
-
-"True, m'amico; but it is bad economy to keep your money under your
-pillow, and let your house fall over your ears for want of mending,"
-answered Antonia; and then she bade him good-bye--good-bye till
-next year, and bent down to kiss the withered forehead, above white
-pent-house eyebrows.
-
-The keen old eyes clouded over with tears as her lips touched him, and
-the tremulous old hands were joined in prayer that God and the Saints
-might reward her piety.
-
-She opened her arms to Francesca, who fell upon her breast, sobbing.
-
-"Ah, sweetest lady, had the poor ever such a friend, ever such a
-benefactor? Heaven sent you to us. We pray for you night and day, for
-your happiness on earth, for your soul's bliss in heaven," cried the
-girl, in her melodious Italian.
-
-Antonia could scarcely drag herself away from the clinging arms, the
-tears and benedictions; but she left Francesca at the garden gate,
-and amid all those tears and kisses had not revealed herself to her
-kindred.
-
-She crossed the hill in silence, Dunkeld at her side, watching her
-thoughtful countenance, and perplexed by its almost tragic gloom.
-
-"You are a wonderful woman," he said lightly, by-and-by, to break the
-spell of silence. "You take these Italian peasants to your heart as if
-they were your own flesh and blood. Is it the Italian blood in your
-veins that opens your heart to beings of so different a race?"
-
-"Perhaps."
-
-"I could understand your letting the girl hug you--a creature so
-lovely, and in the bloom and freshness of youth. But that wrinkled old
-miser! Well, 'twas a divine charity that moved you to squander a kiss
-upon that parchment brow."
-
-Antonia turned to him in a sudden tumult of feeling, remorse, shame,
-self-disparagement.
-
-"Oh, stop, stop!" she cried. "Your words scald me like molten lead.
-Divine charity! Why, I am the most despicable of women. I hate myself
-for my paltry pride. I can bear the shame of it no longer. 'Twill be
-your lordship's turn to scorn me as I scorn myself. That old man is
-my mother's father. I came to Italy to hunt for her kindred, to find
-in what palace she was reared, from what princely race I inherited my
-haughty spirit. And a chance, the chance likeness between Francesca
-and me, resulted in the discovery that I came of a long line of
-peasants, servants, the tillers of the ground, the race that lives by
-submissive toil, that has never known independence. And I was ashamed
-of them--bitterly ashamed. It was anguish to me to know that I sprang
-from that humble stock, most of all when I thought of you, your
-warriors, and statesmen, bishops, judges--all the long line of rulers
-and master minds, stretching back into the dark night of history, part
-of yourself; for if they had never lived you could not be what you are."
-
-"Oh, madam, you own a more noble lineage than Scottish Thanes can boast
-of. The seaborn Venus had no ancestors, but was queen of the earth by
-the divine right of beauty. You are a daughter of the gods, and may
-easily dispense with a parchment pedigree."
-
-"Oh, pray, sir, no idle compliments! I would rather suffer your
-contempt than your mocking praise. I can scarcely be more despicable in
-your esteem than I am in my own."
-
-"I could never think ill of you, my sweet friend; never doubt the
-nobility of your heart and mind. The test has been a severe one; for to
-a woman the death of a romantic dream means much; but the gold rings
-true. You had a right to keep this secret from me if you pleased."
-
-"And from them?"
-
-"That is a nicer question. I doubt it is your duty to make them happier
-by the knowledge that they have a legitimate claim to your bounty. I
-think you would do well to disclose your relationship to them before
-you leave Italy. The old man may not live till your return; and the
-thought that pride had come between you and one so near in blood might
-be a lasting regret."
-
-"Yes, yes, your lordship is right. I will see them again this evening.
-I will tell my grandfather who and what I am. Yes, it was odious of me
-to play the Lady Bountiful, to let him praise me for generosity--me,
-his daughter's child. Sure I am glad I made my confession to you, for
-now I know that you are my true friend."
-
-"I will never advise you ill, if I can help it, madam," he said,
-stooping to kiss her hand. "And doubt not that you can trust me with
-every secret of your heart and mind, for there can exist no feeling or
-thought in either that is not common to generous natures."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Lady Kilrush spent the sunset hour with her kindred, and was touched
-by the old man's delight when he clasped to his heart the child of
-that daughter he had loved and mourned. She knelt beside him with
-uncovered head as she told him the story of her childhood, her love
-for the mother she had lost before memory began. He turned her face to
-the sunset glow, and gazed at her with eyes drowned in tears. He was
-no longer the money-grubber, keenly expectant of a stranger's bounty.
-The whole nature of the man seemed changed by the awakening of an
-unforgotten love.
-
-"Yes, it is Tonia's face," he cried. "I knew you were beautiful; I knew
-you were like her; but not how like. Your brow has the same lines, your
-lips have the same curves. Yes, now, as you smile at me, I see my
-beloved one again."
-
-There was nothing sordid or vulgar in the peasant now. His countenance
-shone with the pure light of love, and Antonia's heart went out to him
-with some touch of filial affection.
-
-Before they parted he gave her a letter--the ink dim with age--her
-mother's last letter, written from the Lincolnshire homestead where she
-died; and Antonia read of the love that had hung over her cradle, that
-tender maternal love she had been fated never to know.
-
-She deferred her journey for a few days, at her grandfather's entreaty,
-and spent many hours at the villino. She encouraged Baptisto and
-Francesca to talk to her of all the details of their lives. She drew
-nearer to them in thought and feeling, and made new plans for their
-happiness, promising to come to Bellagio every autumn, and offering to
-build them a new house next year at the other end of their garden where
-the view was finer. But the old man protested that the villino would
-last his time, and that he would never like any house as well.
-
-"Then the new house must be built for Francesca when she marries,"
-Antonia told him gaily. "We will wait till she has a suitor she loves."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVI.
-
-
-DEATH AND VICTORY.
-
-
-It was late in October when Lady Kilrush arrived at her house in St.
-James's Square. What a gloomy splendour, what an unromantic luxury the
-spacious mansion presented after the lake and mountains, the chestnut
-woods and rose gardens of Lombardy. Yet this old English comfort
-within doors, while the grey mists of autumn brooded over the square
-where the oil lamps made spots of quivering golden light amidst the
-deepening gloom, had a certain charm, and Antonia was not ill pleased
-to find herself taking a dish of tea by the fire in the library with
-her old friend Patty Granger, who brought her the news of the town, the
-weddings and elopements, the duels and law-suits, the beauties who had
-lost their looks, and the prodigals who had anticipated their majority
-and ruined an estate by a single cast at hazard.
-
-"And so Lord Dunkeld travelled all the way from Como with you and Mrs.
-Potter?" said Patty, when she had emptied her budget. "You must have
-been vastly tired of him by the time you got home, after being boxed in
-a travelling chariot for over a se'nnight."
-
-"There are people of whose company one does not easily tire, Patty."
-
-"Then my old General ain't one of 'em; for I yawn till my jaws ache
-whenever we spend an evening together, and he sits and proses over
-Marlborough's wars and the two chargers he had shot under him at
-Malplaquet. Sure I knew all his stories by heart long before we were
-married; and 'tain't likely I'll listen to 'em now. But if you can
-relish Lord Dunkeld's conversation for a week in a chaise, perhaps
-you'll be able to endure it from year's end to year's end when you're
-his wife."
-
-"What are you thinking of, child? I am not going to marry Lord Dunkeld,
-or any other man living."
-
-"Then I think you ought to have put the poor wretch out of his pain a
-year ago, and not let him dance attendance on you half over Europe."
-
-"His lordship has known my mind for a long time, and is pleased to
-honour me with his friendship."
-
-"Ah, you have a knack of turning lovers into friends. You was friends
-with Mr. Stobart till you quarrelled with him and sent him off to the
-wars. And I doubt he's killed by this time, if he was with Wolfe; for
-the General tells me our soldiers haven't a chance against the French."
-
-"Does the General say that, Patty?" Antonia asked anxiously.
-
-She had read all the newspapers on her home-coming. There was no fresh
-news from America; but the tone about the war was despondent. Wolfe's
-army before Quebec was but nine thousand, the enemy's force nearly
-double. Amherst was at a distance, winter approaching, the outlook of a
-universal blackness.
-
-"The General has hardly any hopes," said Patty. "He has seen Wolfe's
-last letter, such a down-hearted letter; and the poor man is fitter
-to lie a-bed in a hospital than to storm a city. He has always been a
-sickly wretch; never could abide the sea, and suffers more on a voyage
-than a delicate young woman."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Antonia lay awake half that night, despondent and uneasy, and in her
-troubled morning sleep dreamt of George Stobart, in a grenadier's
-uniform, with an ashen countenance, the blood streaming from a sabre
-cut on his forehead. He looked at her with fading eyes, and reproached
-her for her cruelty. 'Twas her unkindness had sent him to his doom.
-
-She woke out of this nightmare vision to hear news-boys yelling in the
-square. "Taking of Quebec. A glorious victory. Death of General Wolfe.
-Death of General Montcalm." She sprang from her bed, threw up a window,
-and looked down into the square. It was hardly light. The news-boys
-were bawling as if they were mad, and street doors and area gates were
-opening, and eager hands were stretched out to snatch the papers. A
-ragamuffin crowd was following the news-boys, the crowd that is afoot
-at all hours, and comes from nowhere. "Great English victory--Slaughter
-of the enemy. Death of General Wolfe on the field of battle. Death of
-General Montcalm. Destruction of the French. Quebec taken."
-
-Mr. Pitt had received the news late last night, and this morning 'twas
-in all the papers. The shouting of the news-vendors made a confusion
-of harsh noises, each trying to bawl louder than his fellows. And then
-came the sound of trumpet and drum in Pall Mall, as the guard marched
-to the Palace, and anon loud hurrahs from the excited crowd in the
-square, in Pall Mall, everywhere, filling the air with vociferous
-exultation.
-
-Death and victory! The words reached Antonia's ear together. Victory
-purchased at what cost of blood, what sacrifice of lives that were
-dear? She had met old General Wolfe and his handsome wife, now a widow,
-the hero's proud mother; and it was sad to think of that lady's agony
-to-day, while all England was rejoicing, all who had not lost their
-dearest as she had.
-
-Both generals slain! And how many of those they led to battle? Were
-George Stobart's bones lying on the heights of Abraham, the prey of
-eagles and wolves, or buried hastily by some friendly hand, hidden for
-ever under that far-off soil, which the winter snow would soon cover?
-Her heart ached at the thought that she would see him no more, she who
-had desired, or thought she desired, never to look upon his face.
-
-She sent her woman for the newspapers, and turned them over with
-trembling hands, standing by the open window in the chill autumnal air,
-too much discomposed even to sit down. The _Daily Advertiser_ had a
-letter with a description of the siege; all the wonder of it; the boats
-creeping up the river under the midnight stars; the ascent of that grim
-height through the darkness, the soldiers clambering with uncertain
-foothold, clutching at bushes, struggling through trees, their muskets
-slung at their backs, the _qui vive?_ of the French sentinel above, the
-courage, the address, the presence of mind of leaders and men. There
-had been great losses; but there was no list of the killed; and Stobart
-might be among them.
-
-She ordered her coach to be at the door in an hour, and waited only to
-dress and take a cup of chocolate before she went to see Mrs. Stobart,
-who, if her husband had survived the siege, might have had a letter by
-the ship that brought England the news from Quebec.
-
-A stranger opened the door at Crown Place. Instead of Mrs. Stobart's
-handmaiden, in white apron and mob cap, Antonia saw an old woman,
-of dejected aspect, who stared at the footman and coach as at some
-appalling vision.
-
-Yes, Mrs. Stobart was at home, but she was very ill, the woman said,
-and it might be dangerous for the lady to see her.
-
-The lady, who had alighted at the opening of the door, took no heed of
-this warning. The wife was ill, struck down perhaps by the shock of
-fatal news. Antonia instantly associated Lucy's illness with the fate
-of her husband.
-
-"Where is she?" she asked, and ran upstairs without waiting to be
-answered. In an eight-roomed house it was not difficult to find the
-mistress's chamber. She opened the door of the front room softly, and
-found herself in darkness, an obscurity made horrible by the stifling
-heat of the room, where the red cinders of what had been a fierce fire
-made a lurid glow behind the high brass fender. The dimity curtains
-were closed round the bed. Antonia drew one of them aside and looked
-at the sick woman. She was asleep, and breathing heavily, her forehead
-bound with a linen cloth, and the hand lying on the coverlet burnt like
-a hot coal under Antonia's touch.
-
-The old woman came panting up the stairs, and after stopping to recover
-her normal breathing power, which was but feeble, she addressed the
-visitor in a voice of alarm.
-
-"Oh, madam, you had best come away from the bed. 'Tis the small-pox, a
-bad case, and if you have never had the disease----"
-
-"I have been inoculated. I am not afraid," Antonia answered quickly,
-thinking only of the patient. Alas, poor soul, to be seized with that
-hateful sickness, which she so feared. "How did she come by this
-horrible malady, ma'am?"
-
-"She caught it from an old gentleman, my lady--I believe he was a
-relation--who died in the house. She was taken ill the night after
-his funeral, a fortnight ago. 'Tis the worst kind of small-pox. She
-was quite sensible two days ago, and then the fever came back, the
-secondary fever, the doctor calls it. Even if she gets over it she
-will be disfigured for life, poor lady, and may lose her eyesight.
-'Tis as bad a case as I ever nursed, and if your honour hadn't been
-inoculated----"
-
-"But I have, woman, and I have no fear. Pray tell me where is this
-lady's son? Was he in the house when she was taken ill?"
-
-"No, my lady. The little master is living with his gran'ma, the servant
-girl told me."
-
-"That is fortunate. Are you Mrs. Stobart's only nurse?"
-
-"Yes, my lady."
-
-"And at night when you are asleep, who attends upon her?"
-
-"I am a very light sleeper, ma'am. I mostly hears her when she calls
-me, if she calls loud enough."
-
-"She must have two nurses. I will get another woman to help you, and I
-shall come every day to see that she is attended properly. Pray, who is
-her doctor?"
-
-The woman named a humble apothecary in Lambeth, called Morton, whom
-Antonia had often met in her visits to the poor, a meek elderly man in
-whose skill and kindness she had confidence, in spite of his rusty coat
-and breeches, coarse cotton stockings and grubby hands.
-
-"I will send a physician to see her. Tell Mr. Morton that I shall send
-Dr. Heberden, who will confer with him. Do you know if Mrs. Stobart has
-had any trouble on her mind lately, any anxiety?"
-
-"Only about her house, my lady. Her slut of a maid ran away directly
-she heard 'twas small-pox."
-
-The apothecary came in while Antonia was standing by the bed, and was
-aghast at the spectacle.
-
-"Does your ladyship know what risk you run here? Oh, madam, for God's
-sake, leave this infected air."
-
-"I am not afraid. I did not take the disease when the doctors tried to
-inoculate me. I doubt I am proof against the poison."
-
-"Nay, madam, you must not count on that. I implore you to leave this
-room instantly, and never to re-enter it. 'Tis a bad case of confluent
-small-pox, and I fear 'twill be fatal."
-
-"And this poor lady is alone, her husband fighting in America, killed
-in the late battle, perhaps. At whatever risk I shall do all I can for
-her. And I hope we may save her, sir, with care and good nursing."
-
-"Your ladyship may be sure I will do my best," said Morton.
-
-"I will go out into the air while you see to your patient. This room is
-stifling. You will find me below, waiting to talk to you."
-
-She walked on the footpath by the river till the apothecary came to
-her, and then gave him her instructions. Dr. Heberden was to see the
-patient that afternoon, if possible. Antonia would wait upon him and
-persuade him to do so. And Mr. Morton was to be at hand to receive his
-instructions. And a nurse was to be found, more serviceable than the
-old woman on the premises, who seemed civil and obliging, and could be
-kept to help her.
-
-"And I shall see the patient every day," concluded Antonia.
-
-"I must warn your ladyship once more, that you will do so at the peril
-of your life."
-
-"My good Mr. Morton, there are situations in which that hazard hardly
-counts. This poor lady's husband, for instance, has he not risked his
-life a hundred times in America? Risked and lost it, perhaps!"
-
-There was a catch in her voice like a stifled sob, as she spoke the
-last sentence.
-
-"That is a vastly different matter, your ladyship," said Morton
-gravely; but he ventured no farther remonstrance.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Antonia saw the physician, and obtained his promise to see Mrs. Stobart
-that afternoon. She drove through streets that were in a tumult of
-rejoicing at the success of British arms. No one thought of the
-general who had fallen, the soldiers who had died. Victory was on every
-lip, exultation in every mind. 'Twas all the coachman could do to steer
-horses and chariot through the crowd.
-
-Arrived at home safely, Lady Kilrush told the hall porter to deny her
-to all visitors, which would not be difficult, since her arrival in
-London had not been recorded in the newspapers, and Lord Dunkeld was
-on the road to Scotland, to shoot grouse on his own moors. She ordered
-her chair for six o'clock, and in the meanwhile shut herself in her
-dressing-room, where Sophy found her, to whom she related her morning's
-work.
-
-"If you are frightened don't come near me," she said.
-
-"I am frightened for you, madam, not for myself. I suppose after having
-had such a bout when I was inoculated I am safe to escape the small-pox
-for the rest of my life. Sure I carry the marks on my face and neck,
-though they mayn't be so bad as to make me hideous."
-
-"Then if you are not afraid, you can keep me company in this room of an
-evening, till Mrs. Stobart is well enough to be sent into the country;
-and you can drive and walk with me. I will admit no visitors, for I
-must see her every day if I would be sure that her nurses do their
-duty. Poor soul, she is alone, and in great danger."
-
-Sophy implored her mistress to run no such hazard, besought her with
-tears, and with the importunity of a warm affection. In her ladyship's
-case inoculation had been a failure. She would be mad to re-enter that
-infected house. Sophy would herself visit Mrs. Stobart, and see that
-she was properly nursed.
-
-"No, child, no, it is I who must go. It is my duty."
-
-"Why, I never knew you was so fond of her--a pretty simpleton, with
-scarce a word to say for herself."
-
-"Don't argue with me, Sophy. It is useless. If there is any risk, I
-have run it," Antonia answered.
-
-She shivered as she recalled that darkened chamber, the tainted
-atmosphere, the oppressive heat of a fire that had been burning day and
-night through the mild October weather. She knew that there was poison
-in that pestilential air, and that she had inhaled it, knew and did not
-care.
-
-Her eyes were shining with a feverish light. Her heart ached with
-remorseful pity for the deserted wife, deserted by the man who had fled
-from his country, flung himself into a service of danger, flung away
-his life perhaps. It was because she had been unwise, had encouraged a
-close friendship that was but a mask for love, that yonder poor woman
-was lying on her sick bed deserted by her natural protector. He had
-sacrificed every tie, renounced every duty, on account of that guilty
-love. She hated herself when she thought that she had lured him from
-his home, had made him her friend and counsellor, at the expense of his
-young wife. Every hour he had spent with her in St. James's Square had
-been stolen from Lucy and her boy. It was the wife who had a right to
-his thoughts, his counsels, his leisure; and she had filched them from
-her. He had lingered by the fireside in her library, reluctant to leave
-her, when he should have been brightening Lucy's monotonous existence,
-elevating her mind by his conversation, continuing that education of
-heart and intellect in which he had been engaged before he lost himself
-in a fatal friendship. She had driven him from her with anger and
-contempt, driven him into exile and danger; but had she not as much
-need to be angry with herself, remembering her pleasure in his company,
-her forgetfulness of his wife's claims?
-
-This one thing remained for her to do, to watch over the lonely wife
-in her day of peril, to win her back to life and health if it were
-possible. This atoning act would ease her conscience, perhaps, and
-bring her peace of mind. If George Stobart lived to come back to
-England he would know that she had done her duty, and, although not a
-Christian, had fulfilled the Christian's mission of mercy and love.
-
-And if that ghastly distemper struck her down--a possible result,
-though she did not apprehend it--what then? She had no keen love of
-life, and would not much regret to lay down the load of days that had
-lost their savour. She had tasted all the pleasures that the world,
-the flesh, and the devil can offer a beautiful woman, all the luxuries
-that gold can buy, all the homage that rank can claim, the adulation of
-high-born profligates, the envy of rival beauties, and every trivial
-diversion that Satan can put into the minds of the idle rich. She had
-struck every note in the gamut of elegant pleasures; and had arrived at
-that period of satiety in which some women take to vice as the natural
-crescendo in the scale of emotion. What sacrifice would it be to die
-for her who feared no hereafter, had no account to render?
-
-She visited Mrs. Stobart every day, questioned nurses and doctors,
-and took infinite trouble to secure the patient's comfort. She sat by
-the sick-bed, endured the fetid atmosphere of a room carefully shut
-against the air of heaven, she listened to Lucy's delirious ravings,
-her frantic appeals to her husband to come back to her. She, who in
-her right senses had seemed to grieve so little at his absence, in her
-wanderings was for ever recalling the happy hours of their courtship,
-acting over again that simple story of a girl's first love for a
-sweetheart of superior station.
-
-Antonia listened with an aching heart. The love was there then; the
-woman was not the pink-and-white automaton she had once thought her.
-And she had come between George Stobart and this idyllic affection, had
-spoiled two lives, unwittingly, but not without guilt. She had absorbed
-him, suffered him to squander all his leisure upon her company, sought
-his counsel, invited his sympathy, made herself a part of his life, as
-no woman has the right to do with another woman's husband.
-
-And now, sitting by what might be the bed of death, she could not
-forgive herself for that friendship which she had cherished without
-thought of the cost. She had courted his company, and reproached him
-when he absented himself. He had been her most cherished companion;
-those days had been blank on which they had not met. All the feverish
-pleasures of the great world had not been enough to make up for one
-lost hour of his society. Their talk beside the firelit hearth, in the
-darkening twilight, their meetings in poverty-stricken garrets and
-loathsome alleys, had been more to her than all the rest of her life.
-
-"If she should die before he comes back to her it will be on my
-conscience for ever that I was the wretch who parted them," she thought.
-
-The doctors were not hopeful of Mrs. Stobart's recovery. She had very
-little strength, they told Lady Kilrush, very little power to fight
-against the disease, which had attacked her in its most virulent form.
-Should she recover, she would be disfigured for life, and possibly
-blind.
-
-Oh, the horror of it! If he came home to find the pretty childish face,
-the lily and rose complexion, so cruelly transformed! Was not death
-almost better for the victim than such a resurrection?
-
-Heaven was kinder to this weak soul than to spare her for such a cruel
-fate. After Antonia had been visiting her for over a week, in which
-time there had been no improvement in the symptoms, there came a rally
-with some hours of consciousness; but this was only the prelude of
-approaching death.
-
-Lucy recognized Antonia, spoke of her husband and her son in a sage and
-matter-of-fact tone which was quite unlike her talk in delirium, was
-glad that the boy was safely out of the way when she was seized with
-the malady.
-
-"My father came here one night, in a raging fever," she told Antonia.
-"I was frightened; but I hadn't the heart to drive him out of the
-house. He looked like a dying man. It was the small-pox. He had sent
-the disease inward by getting up from his bed and going out into the
-streets in the rain. He lay ill over a week, and I got an old woman to
-nurse him. I never went near him after I knew. But the infection was
-in the house, I suppose. I remember the night of his funeral, and my
-aching bones, and my burning head. I knew I was going to be ill. And
-then I remember nothing more--nothing more. Was it last night--the
-funeral?"
-
-She spoke in a weak voice, in broken sentences, with long pauses
-between, Antonia holding her hand as she talked. The poor wasted hand
-was icy cold now; the fever was gone--gone with the life of the patient.
-
-"You'll give Mr. Stobart my love," she said, "and please tell him I was
-very unhappy after he went to America. It was very kind of you to come
-to me; but then you like visiting sick people. I don't. Mr. Stobart
-used to tell me I was no Dorcas."
-
-She lingered for a day and a night after this return of consciousness;
-but her last hours were passed in a stupor, and she died in her sleep,
-so quietly that the nurse who kept watch by her bed knew not the moment
-of her last sigh.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVII.
-
-
-SWORD AND BIBLE.
-
-
-Lady Kilrush wrote to Lady Lanigan at the Circus, Bath, to inform her
-of her daughter-in-law's death. She had written some days before to
-acquaint that lady with poor Lucy's sad condition; but there had been
-as yet no reply to the first letter, and there was no time to wait
-for an answer to the second, so she made all arrangements for the
-funeral, and chose Lucy's last resting-place in the rural churchyard
-at Mortlake, not very far from the cottage where she had first seen
-the Methodist and his young wife. She was suffering from a chill and a
-touch of fever on the morning of the funeral, but bore up long enough
-to see George Stobart's wife laid in earth, since there was no one else
-but the doctor and the nurse to perform that last office. She engaged
-the old woman whom she had found on the premises to remain in the house
-as caretaker, till Mr. Stobart's return.
-
-She had hardly strength to drag her aching limbs upstairs when her
-task was over; and, as the evening wore on, her illness increased, and
-although she made light of her symptoms to Sophy, she could hardly
-doubt their dire significance.
-
-She stood in front of her glass for some minutes before she took to
-her bed. Her head ached, and her throat was parched and swollen, but
-she was in full beauty still. A hectic crimson burned on her cheeks,
-and her eyes were bright with fever. Her hair, dark as midnight, fell
-in natural curls over the marble whiteness of a throat and bust that
-had been sung by a score of modish rhymesters, and declared to excel
-the charms of every Venus in the Vatican. Would she ever see that
-face again, she wondered, after she lay down on yonder bed? Would some
-strange disfigured image look at her from that familiar glass--the
-long cheval glass before which she had stood so often in her trivial
-moods to study the set of a mantua, the hang of a petticoat, a dazzling
-figure in a splendour of gold and silver, and colour that mocked the
-glory of an autumn sunset, or for a whim, perhaps, in back velvet,
-sable from head to foot, a sombre background for her tiara and riviere
-of diamonds, and her famous pearl necklace.
-
-She burst into a wild laugh as she thought of those gems. Would she
-ever again wear pearls or diamonds on her neck? Disfigured--blind,
-perhaps, a creature upon whose hideous form fine clothes and flashing
-jewels would seem more appalling than a shroud!
-
-"Good-bye, beautiful Lady Kilrush," she said, making a low curtsey to
-the figure in the glass; and then all grew dim, and she could only
-totter to the bell-pull and ring for help.
-
-Sophy came to her. The French maid had been banished after her
-mistress's first visit to Mrs. Stobart, Antonia having taken pains to
-lessen the risk of contagion for her household. Sophy had waited upon
-her, and had been her only means of communication with the servants.
-
-Dr. Heberden saw her next morning, and recognized the tokens of a
-disease not much less terrible than the plague. He was careful not
-to alarm the patient, but gave his instructions to Miss Potter, and
-promised to send a capable nurse.
-
-"If I am going to be ill let me have the little Lambeth apothecary to
-attend me," Antonia said to the physician. "I have seen him by the
-sick-beds of the poor, and I know what a kind soul it is."
-
-"Let it be so, dear lady. He will make a good watch-dog. I shall see
-you every day till you are well."
-
-"That will not be for a long time, sir. I know what I have to expect,"
-she answered calmly. "But if I am likely to be hideous, for pity's
-sake, don't try to save my life."
-
-"I protest, your ladyship takes alarm too soon. Your sickness may be no
-more than a chill, with a touch of fever."
-
-"Oh, I know, I know," she answered, her eyes searching his countenance.
-"You cannot deceive me, sir. I was prepared for this. I did not think
-it would come. I thought I was too strong. I hardly feared it; but I
-knew it was possible. I did what I had to do without counting the cost."
-
-She was in a high fever, but still in her right senses. She lay in a
-half stupor for the rest of the day, and her nurses, a comfortable
-looking middle-aged woman sent by Dr. Heberden, and Sophy Potter, had
-nothing to do but watch her and give her a cooling drink from time to
-time.
-
-It was growing dusk, and Sophy and Mrs. Ball, the nurse, were taking
-tea in the dressing-room, when the door was opened and a lady appeared,
-struggling with a sheet steeped in vinegar that had been hung over the
-door by Mr. Morton's order. The intruder was Mrs. Granger, modishly
-dressed in a chintz silk tucked up over a black satin petticoat.
-
-"Drat your vinegar," she cried. "I'll wager my new silk is done for."
-
-"Oh, madam, you oughtn't to have come here," cried Sophy, starting up
-in a fright. "Her ladyship is taken with----"
-
-"Yes, I know. I've had it, Miss Potter--had it rather bad when I was
-a child. You might have seen some marks on my forehead and chin if
-you'd ever looked close at me. I should have been marked much worse,
-and I should never have been Mrs. General Granger, if mother hadn't
-sat by the bed and held my hands day and night to stop me doing myself
-a mischief. And I'm going to keep watch over Antonia, and save her
-beauty, if it's in human power to do it."
-
-"I am the nurse engaged for the case," said Mrs. Ball, rising from the
-tea-board with a stately air, "and your ladyship's services will not be
-required."
-
-"That's for my ladyship to judge, not you. Lady Kilrush and me was
-close friends before we married; and I'm not going to leave her at the
-mercy of any nurse in London, not if she was nurse to the Princess of
-Wales."
-
-"I think Dr. Heberden's favourite nurse may be trusted, madam," said
-Mrs. Ball, with growing indignation.
-
-Sophy had gone back to the sick-room.
-
-"I wonder her ladyship's hall porter should have let you come upstairs,
-madam, when he had positive orders to admit nobody," continued Mrs.
-Ball.
-
-"I didn't wait for his permission when I had got the truth out of him.
-Lions and tigers wouldn't have kept me from my friend, much less hired
-nurses and hall porters."
-
-She took off her hat and flung it on the sofa, and went into the next
-room with so resolute an air that Mrs. Ball could only stand staring at
-her.
-
-Antonia looked up as she approached the bed, and held out her hand to
-her.
-
-"Oh, Patty, how glad I am to see you. Your face always brings back my
-youth. But no, no, no, don't come near me. Tell her, Sophy--tell her!
-Oh, what a racking headache."
-
-Her head fell back upon the pillow. It was impossible to hold it up
-with that insufferable pain.
-
-Patty reminded her friend of the pock marks on her temple and chin, and
-that she ran no risk in being with her; and from that moment till the
-peril was past, through a fortnight of keen anxiety, General Granger's
-wife remained at Antonia's bedside, watching over her with a devotion
-that never wearied. It was useless for Mrs. Ball to protest, or for
-Sophy Potter to show signs of jealousy.
-
-"I'm going to save her beautiful face for her," Patty declared. "She
-shan't get up from her sick-bed to find herself a fright. She's the
-handsomest woman in London, and beauty like hers is worth fighting for."
-
-Dr. Heberden heard her, and approved. He had seen her clever
-management, her tender care of Antonia, when the fever was raging, and
-the delirious sufferer would have done herself mischief in an agony
-of irritation. The famous doctor was vastly polite to this volunteer
-nurse, and complimented her on her skill and courage.
-
-"As for my courage, sir, 'tis nothing to boast of," Patty answered
-frankly. "Poor as my face is, I wouldn't have risked spoiling it, and
-shouldn't be here if I had not had the distemper when I was a child."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Lady Kilrush passed safely through the malady that had been fatal to
-Lucy Stobart; but her convalescence was very slow, and she suffered
-a depression of spirits from which neither her devoted Sophy Potter
-nor her lively friend Patty could rouse her. She came back to life
-unwillingly, and felt as if she had nothing to live for.
-
-On the very first day that she was able to leave her bed for an hour or
-two, Patty led her to the great cheval glass.
-
-"There!" she cried, "look at yourself as close as you please. You are
-not pitted as much as I am even. Why, Lord bless the woman! Aren't you
-pleased with yourself, Tonia? You stare as if you saw a ghost."
-
-"'Tis a ghost I am looking at, Patty, the ghost of my old self. Oh,
-you have been an angel of goodness, dear; and it is a mercy not to be
-loathsome; but the past is past, and I shall never be the beautiful
-Lady Kilrush again. I hope I was not too proud of my kingdom while I
-had it. 'Tis gone from me for ever."
-
-"Why, you simpleton! All this fuss because you are hollow-cheeked and
-pale--and your beautiful hair has been cut off."
-
-"A wreck, Patty! A haggard ghost! Don't think I am going to weep for
-the loss of a complexion. I had grown tired of the world before I fell
-ill. It will give me little pain to leave it altogether--only there is
-nothing else--nothing left but to sit by the fire with a book, and wait
-for the slow years to roll by. And the years are so slow. It seems a
-century since I came into this house for the first time, and found the
-man I loved lying on his death-bed."
-
-"Oh, how foolish this sadness is! If I was a peeress, with such jewels
-as yours, a young widow, my own mistress, free to do what I liked for
-the rest of my days, or to pick and choose a new tyrant if I liked--I
-should jump for joy. You will be as handsome as ever you was after six
-weeks at the Wells. And you ought to marry a duke, like your friend
-Miss Gunning that was, who would never have been thought your equal for
-looks if there had not been two of her."
-
-"Dear Patty, I have done with vanities. But never doubt my gratitude
-for the kindness that saved me from being a hideous spectacle."
-
-"Nay, 'tis but the lion and the mouse over again. You took me in hand
-and made a lady of me, and how could I do less than jump at the first
-chance of making a return? I used to be a little bit envious of your
-handsome face once, Tonia, when you used to come to my lodgings in the
-piazza, in your shabby clothes, so careless and so lovely."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Lady Kilrush would see no one after her illness, putting off all
-visitors with polite little notes of apology, protesting that she was
-not yet in health to receive visits, and must defer the pleasures of
-friendship till she was stronger. On this the rumour went about that
-the disease had disfigured her beyond recognition, and all the envious
-women of her acquaintance were loud in their compassion.
-
-"'Tis vastly sad to think she is too ugly to let anybody see her," said
-one. "I'm told she wears a thick veil even in her own house, for fear
-of frightening her footmen."
-
-"They say she offered a thousand pounds to any one who would invent a
-wash that would hide the spots," said another.
-
-"Spots, my dear! 'Tis vastly fine to talk of spots. The poor wretch has
-holes in her face as deep as your thimble."
-
-"And is as blind as Samson Agonistes," said a fourth.
-
-"And oh, dear, we are all so sorry for her," said the chorus, with
-sighs and uplifted hands; and then the fiddles began a country dance,
-and everybody was curtseying and simpering and setting to partners,
-down the long perspective of fine clothes and powdered heads, and Lady
-Kilrush was forgotten.
-
-Not by Lord Dunkeld, who started post-haste for London directly he
-heard of her illness, and being informed that she was out of danger,
-and sitting up in her dressing-room every afternoon, pleaded hard to be
-admitted, but was resolutely refused.
-
-Sophy wrote to him at her mistress's dictation, assuring him of her
-lady's unchanging esteem, but adding that she was too much out of
-spirits to see even her most valued friends.
-
-"Most valued! I wonder what value she sets upon me?" questioned
-Dunkeld, cruelly disappointed. "'Tis the parson-soldier, or the
-soldier-parson she values. Perhaps the loss of her beauty moves her
-most because she will be less fair in his eyes. I doubt that it is
-always of one man only that a woman thinks, when she rejoices in her
-beauty. It is for _his_ sake; to please _his_ eye! The fellow may be
-a Caliban, perhaps, and yet he is the shrine at which she offers her
-charms."
-
-He tried to picture that glorious beauty changed to ugliness, tried
-and could not; for he could not banish her image as he had seen her in
-Italy. Her beauty sparkled and shone before him; and imagination could
-not conjure up the tragic transformation.
-
-"There is no change that could lessen my love," he thought. "She has
-grown into my heart, and is a part of my life. I may be appalled when
-I see her, may suffer tortures at a sight so piteous; but she will be
-dearer to me in her ruined beauty than the handsomest woman in London."
-
-He thought of one of the handsomest, the exquisite Lady Coventry, the
-younger of the Gunning sisters, whose brief reign was hastening towards
-its melancholy close: a butterfly creature, inferior to Antonia in all
-mental qualities, but with much grace and sparkle, and an Irishwoman's
-high spirits. The Ring in Hyde Park, the Rotunda at Ranelagh, the Opera
-House and the Pantheon, would be poorer for the loss of that brilliant
-figure.
-
-"And if Antonia appears there no more 'twill be two stars dropped out
-of our firmament," thought Dunkeld.
-
- * * * * *
-
-It was in vain that Patty urged her friend to try the waters of Bath or
-Bristol, as Dr. Heberden had advised, seeing that his patient was slow
-to recover her strength. Antonia refused to leave St. James's Square.
-
-"If I went to drink the waters I should have a host of trivial
-acquaintances buzzing round me," she told Patty. "And I have taken a
-hatred of all company, but yours and Sophy's. Indeed, I think I hate
-the world. Here I am as safe as in a prison; for my fine friends will
-think the house infected, and will be afraid to trust their beauty in
-it."
-
-"Sure there has been pains enough taken to drive away the contagion,"
-said Sophy, who had suffered some inconvenience from the stringent
-measures Lady Kilrush had insisted upon after her recovery.
-
-"But my friends do not know that, and till they forget my illness this
-house is my castle."
-
-Mrs. Granger dropped in at teatime two or three times a week, and
-brought the gossip of the town, and exercised all her wit to enliven
-her friend; but Antonia seemed sunk in a hopeless languor and
-melancholy, and only affected an interest in the outside world to
-please her visitor.
-
-"I'll swear you are not listening, and have scarce heard a word of it,"
-Patty would exclaim, stopping midway in her account of the last event
-that had startled the town. A rich old Mrs. Somebody who was going to
-marry a boy; or a high-born Iphigenia sacrificed to an octogenarian
-bridegroom.
-
-Antonia had left off caring what people did, or what became of them.
-
-Even the doings of her duchesses had ceased to interest. They had
-sent affectionate notes and messages, and she had responded civilly.
-The Duke of Cumberland had sent an equerry with his card, and tender
-inquiries. The Princess had sent one of her ladies. And all that
-Antonia desired in her present mood was to be forgotten. She was
-glad that Lady Margaret Laroche, whom she liked best of all of her
-fashionable friends, was spending the winter in Paris; since she could
-hardly have denied herself where she was under so many obligations.
-
-She read the papers every day, wondering whether she would ever come
-upon George Stobart's name in the news from America; but the name had
-not appeared, nor had Mr. Stobart been heard of at his own house at the
-beginning of the year, when she sent a servant to inquire of the woman
-in charge there. It was a bitter cold winter; but London was full of
-movement and gaiety while Antonia sat alone in the library at the back
-of the great solemn house, where the shutting of one of the massive
-doors reverberated from cellar to roof-tree in the silence. Never
-had there been a gayer season. It seemed as if the noise of all the
-crackers and squibs that had been burnt after the news from Quebec was
-still in the air. The cold weather killed a good many old people, and
-there were the usual number of putrid sore throats and typhus fevers in
-the fine West End mansions; but the herd went on their way rejoicing
-and illuminating, and praising God for the triumph of English arms
-on land and sea, since the victories of the great year '59 were being
-briskly followed up in the year that had just begun--the thirty-third
-of his Majesty's illustrious reign. His Majesty was waxing old and
-feeble, and the hero of Dettingen was soon to follow that other old
-lion in the Tower; and most people's eyes were turned to the mild
-effulgence of the rising star, the young Prince of Wales, or to the
-Prince's mother, and his guardian, my Lord Bute, who might be supposed
-to direct that youthful mind. Soon, very soon, the great bell would be
-tolling, the muffled drums beating, and the pomp of a royal funeral
-would fill the night with torches and solemn music.
-
- * * * * *
-
-That bitter winter was over, and the river was running gaily under
-April skies, when George Stobart came up the Thames to the Pool of
-London. What an insignificant river it seemed after the St. Lawrence!
-what a poor little flat world lay all around him, as his eyes looked
-out upon his native land--melancholy eyes, that found no joy in
-anything, no pleasure in that aspect of familiar scenes which delights
-most wanderers in their home-coming. Duty brought him home, while
-inclination would have kept him in Georgia, whither he had made his way
-by a difficult and perilous journey, from the snow-fields and frozen
-rivers of Canada to the orange groves and sunny sea of the South,
-after a weary time in the hospital at Quebec. There had been much
-for him to see in the little colony established by the philanthropic
-Oglethorpe five-and-twenty years before, a refuge and a home for poor
-debtors from the English prisons. He had preached several times in
-one of the school-rooms at Savannah; and the fire and fervour of his
-exhortations had won him a numerous following, black and white. He had
-gone among Whitefield's slaves; but although he found them for the most
-part well-used and contented, he loathed a condition which Whitefield
-justified, and against which Wesley had never lifted up his voice. To
-Stobart this buying and selling of humanity was intolerable. True that
-in these pious communities the African was better off than many a slave
-of toil in Spitalfields or Whitechapel; but he lived under the fear of
-the lash, and he knew not when it might suit his owner's convenience
-to sell him into a worse bondage.
-
-It was with a willing heart that the soldier-priest laid down the sword
-and took up the Bible. In his hours of despair, in all the longing and
-regret of a hopeless love, his faith had remained unshaken. There was
-still the terror, and there was still the hope: the fear of everlasting
-condemnation, the hope of life eternal. Among the ignorant throng whom
-the great evangelist awakened to a sense of sin and a yearning for
-pardon, there were numerous backsliders; but the men of education and
-enlightenment who followed John Wesley seldom fell away. To them the
-things unseen, the promise and the hope, were more real than the bustle
-and strife of the world that hemmed them round. They walked the streets
-of the city with their eyes looking afar off, their thoughts full of
-that heavenly kingdom where life would put on a loveliness unthinkable
-here below. Sickening at the horrors of a world in which there were
-such things as the gallows at Tyburn, with its batch of victims ten
-or a dozen at a time--men, women, boys and girls, children almost;
-the Fleet prison; Bedlam, with its manacles and scourges, and Sunday
-promenades for the idle curious; Bridewell, Newgate. Sickening at such
-a world as this, the Methodist turned his ecstatic gaze towards that
-Kingdom of Christ the Lord, where there should be no more tears, no
-more war, no more oppression, no more grinding poverty or foul disease,
-and where all the redeemed should be equals in one brotherhood of
-heavenly love.
-
-George Stobart went back to his mission work as faithful a believer as
-in the day of his conversion. He had not been an idle servant while he
-was with his regiment. He had preached the gospel wherever he could
-find hearers, had been instant in season and out of season; but his
-persistence had not been of a noisy kind, and although his superior
-officers were disposed to docket him as a religious monomaniac, after
-the manner of Methodists, they had never found him troublesome or
-insubordinate.
-
-"Mr. Stobart is a gentleman," said the major. "And if expounding the
-Scriptures to a parcel of unbelieving rascals can console him for
-short rations, and keep him warm in a temperature ten degrees below
-zero--why, who the deuce would deny him that luxury? If he's a saint
-at his prayers, he's a devil in a _melee_; and he saved my scalp from
-the redskins when we were fighting in the dark in the marshes before
-Louisburg."
-
-Stobart landed at the docks, had his luggage put on a hackney coach,
-and drove to his house at Lambeth, without a shadow of doubt that he
-would find all things as he had left them more than two years ago.
-Lucy's last letter had been written in a cheerful spirit. She was
-elated at Georgie's good luck in pleasing his grandmamma, and she
-prophesied that he would inherit Lady Lanigan's fortune and become
-a person of importance. Her father's drunken habits and persecuting
-visits were her only trouble. Her health was good, and her last
-maidservant was the best she had found since she began housekeeping.
-True that this letter had been written more than half a year ago; but
-the idea of change or misfortune in the quiet life at home hardly
-entered into the mind of the man who had so lately passed through all
-the perils of the siege of Quebec, from the first disastrous attack
-on the heights of the Montmorenci to the daring escalade and the
-battle on the Plains of Abraham, to say nothing of minor dangers and
-adventures which had made his life of the last two years a series of
-hairbreadth escapes. He counted on his wife's smiling welcome; and in
-the tediousness of the voyage he had been schooling himself to his duty
-as a husband, to give love for love with liberal measure, to make his
-wife's future years happy.
-
-"Poor Wesley's only mistake in life is to have made an unfortunate
-marriage, and not to be able to make the best of a bad bargain," he
-thought. "But my Lucy is no such termagant as Mrs. John; and I must
-be a wretch if I cannot live contentedly with her. She was fair, and
-gentle, and loving; and I chose her for the companion of my life. I
-must stand by my choice."
-
-In long, wakeful nights, when the ship was rolling in a stormy sea,
-he had ample leisure to travel again and again over the same ground,
-to make the same resolutions, to repeat the same prayers for strength
-within and guidance from above.
-
-There was one name he never breathed to himself, one face he tried to
-shut out of his memory; but such names and such faces have the sleeper
-at their mercy; and his dreams were often haunted by an image that his
-waking thoughts ever strove to banish.
-
-The spring afternoon was grey and cheerless; a fine rain was falling;
-and the narrow streets, muddy gutters, and smoky atmosphere of London
-were not attractive after the clear air and bright white light of
-Georgia.
-
-He felt in worse spirits than before he left the ship--his prison of
-near six weeks--and the journey seemed interminable; but the coach
-rolled over Westminster Bridge at last, and drew up in front of his
-house. The outside shutters were closed over the parlour windows,
-though it was only five o'clock and broad daylight. Lucy must be
-away from home; with his mother, perhaps, who, having melted to the
-grandson, might have made a further concession and extended her
-kindness to the daughter-in-law--her meek _protegee_ of days gone
-by. The suggestion seemed reasonable; but the aspect of those closed
-shutters chilled him.
-
-He knocked loudly at first; and knocked a second time before the door
-was opened by a decent old woman in clean white cap and apron.
-
-"Is your mistress away from home?"
-
-The explanation was slow, disjointed, on the woman's part. His
-questioning was quick, impassioned, horror-stricken; but the story
-was told at last, the woman sparing him no ghastly particulars: the
-patient's sufferings; the disfiguring malady which had afterwards
-seized Lady Kilrush, who had come through it worse than Mrs. Stobart,
-and was said to be a terrible "objick." Poor Lady Kilrush! who had
-been so kind, and had visited Mrs. Stobart at the risk of her life,
-although the doctors had warned her of her danger times and often. And
-now she was shut up in her house and would see no one, not even her own
-servants, without the black velvet mask which she wore day and night.
-
-Stobart had gone into the parlour while they were talking. The grey day
-came in through the holes in the shutters, and made a twilight in the
-familiar room. Everything was the same as when his wife used to dust
-and polish the furniture with indefatigable care, and place every chair
-and table with a prim correctness of line that had often irritated
-him. There was the bureau at which he used to write; and the little
-Pembroke table was in its own place between the windows, with the big
-Bible laid upon a patchwork mat.
-
-And she for whom he had made the home was lying yonder in Mortlake
-churchyard, the place of rustic graves through which he had passed so
-often, crossing the meadows between Sheen and the church, on his way to
-the river. She was gone! and all his schemes for making her life happy,
-all his remorseful thoughts of her, had been in vain. She was gone! His
-last irrevocable act had been an act of unkindness. He had left her to
-die alone.
-
-For his sins against God he might atone, and might feel the assurance
-of pardon; but for his sin against this weak mortal who had loved him,
-and whom he had sworn to cherish, there was no possibility of atonement.
-
-"Not to _her_, not to _her_," he thought. "I may repent in sackcloth
-and ashes--I may rip the flesh from my bones with the penitent's
-scourge, like Henry Plantagenet. But could he make amends to the martyr
-Becket? Can I make amends to her? 'O God! O God! that it were possible
-to undo things done; to call back yesterday!'" he thought, recalling a
-passage in an old play that had burnt itself into his brain, by many a
-pang of regret for acts ill done or duties neglected.
-
-He wandered from room to room in the familiar house which seemed so
-strange in its blank emptiness, looking at everything with brooding
-gaze--the parlour where he had spent so many solitary hours in study
-and in prayer. His books were on the shelves as he had left them--the
-old Puritan writers he loved--Baxter, Charnock, Howe, Bunyan. He had
-taken only three books on his voyage: his Bible, a pocket Milton,
-and Charles Wesley's Hymns. His study looked as if he had left it
-yesterday. The trees and shrubs were budding in the long slip of
-garden, where he had paced the narrow pathway so often in troubled
-thought.
-
-He went upstairs, and stood beside the bed where his wife had
-lain in her last sleep. The curtains had been stripped from the
-tent-bedstead, the carpet taken up, and every scrap of drapery removed
-from the windows when the house was disinfected. The room looked
-poverty-stricken and grim.
-
-The caretaker followed him from room to room, praising herself for the
-cleanliness of the house, and keeping up a continuous stream of talk
-to which he gave the scantiest attention. In the bedchamber she was
-reminded of Lady Kilrush and her goodness, and began to dilate upon
-that theme.
-
-Was there ever such a noble lady? She had thought of everything. He
-might make himself quite happy about his poor dear lady. Never had a
-patient been better nursed. Her ladyship never missed a day, and saw
-with her own eyes that everything was being done. And she was with his
-lady a long time on that last day when the fever left her and she was
-able to talk sensibly. And his lady was quite happy at the last--oh,
-so happy! And the old woman clasped her hands in a kind of ecstasy.
-"Quite blind," she said, "and with a handkerchief bound over her poor
-eyes--but oh, so happy!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-He left the house, heavy-hearted, and walked across the bridge and by
-Whitehall to St. James's Square. He could not exist in uncertainty
-about Antonia's fate. He must discover if there were any truth in what
-the woman had told him, if that resplendent beauty, Nature's choicest
-dower given to one woman among thousands, had indeed been sacrificed.
-So great a sacrifice made by an Infidel! a woman who had no hope in an
-everlasting reward for the renunciation of happiness here. He recalled
-the exquisite face that had lured him to sin, and pictured it scarred
-and blemished--as he had seen so many faces,--changed by that fatal
-disease which leaves ruin where it spares life. He shuddered and
-sickened at the vision his imagination evoked. Would he honour her
-less, adore her less, so disfigured? He had told himself sometimes in
-his guilty reveries, when Satan had got the better of him, that he
-would love her if she were a leper; that it was the soul, the noble,
-the daring, the generous nature of the woman that he idolized; that he
-was scarcely a sinner for loving the most perfect creature God had ever
-made.
-
-If she hid her blemished face from the world, would she consent to see
-him? Or would he find his sin still unpardoned? Would she hold him at
-a distance for ever because of one fatal hour in his life? She could
-scarcely forget their last parting, when she had prayed never to look
-upon his face again; but time might have mitigated her wrath, and she
-might have forgiven him.
-
-Her ladyship saw no visitors, the porter told him, and was about to
-shut the door in his face; but Mr. Stobart pushed his way in, and
-scribbled a note at a writing-table in the hall.
-
-"Pray be so kind as to see me. I want to thank you for your goodness to
-my wife. I landed in London two hours ago on my arrival from America."
-
-He walked up and down the hall while a footman carried the note to his
-mistress. His heart beat heavily, tortured with the anticipation of
-horror; to look upon the altered face; to have to tell himself that
-_this_ was Antonia.
-
-The man came back, solemn and slow, in his rich livery and powdered
-head. Her ladyship would see Mr. Stobart.
-
-She was sitting in a large armchair by the fire, her face showing dimly
-in the twilight. He could distinguish nothing but her pallor and the
-difference in the style of her hair. The flowing curls that he had
-admired were gone. He felt thankful for the darkness which spared him
-the immediate sight of her changed aspect.
-
-"I am glad you are back in England, Mr. Stobart, and have escaped the
-perils of that dreadful war," she said, in a low, grave voice. "But you
-have had a sorrowful welcome home."
-
-"Yes, it was a heavy blow."
-
-"I hope you had received Lady Lanigan's letter, and that the blow was
-softened by foreknowledge."
-
-"No, I had no letter; I came home expecting to find all things as I
-left them. My mind was full of schemes for making my wife happier
-than I had made her in the past. But I doubt sins of omission are
-irrevocable. A man may sometimes undo what he has done, but he cannot
-make amends for what he has left undone."
-
-There was a silence. The shadows deepened. The wood fire burnt low and
-gave no light.
-
-"I have no words to thank you for your goodness to my wife," he said.
-"That you should go to her in her loneliness, that you should so brave
-all perils, be so compassionate, so self-sacrificing! What can I say
-to you? There is nothing nobler in the lives of the saints. There was
-never Christian living more worthy to be called Christ's disciple."
-
-"Oh, sir, there needed no Gospel light to show me so plain a course.
-Your wife was alone, while you were fighting for your country. I
-promised years ago to be her friend. Could there be any question as to
-my duty?"
-
-"'Twill need all my future life to prove my gratitude."
-
-"You have left the army?"
-
-"Yes. I resigned my commission after Quebec."
-
-"You were at the taking of Quebec, then? I thought you were with
-Amherst when he recovered Ticonderoga."
-
-"So I was, madam. But after we took the fort I was entrusted to carry
-a letter for General Wolfe conveying General Amherst's plans. 'Twas a
-difficult journey, by a circuitous route, and I was more than a month
-on the way; but I was in time to be in the escalade and the battle.
-It was glorious--a glorious tragedy. England and France lost two of
-the finest leaders that ever soldier followed--Montcalm and Wolfe.
-Alas! shall I ever forget James Wolfe's spectral face in the grey of
-that fatal morning? He was fitter to be lying on a sick-bed than to be
-commanding an army. He looked a ghost, and fought like the god of war."
-
-"Shall you go back to your work with Mr. Wesley?"
-
-"If he will have me--and, indeed, I think he will, for he needs
-helpers. 'Tis in his army--the evangelical army--I shall fight
-henceforward. I stand alone in the world now, for my son's welfare
-could scarce be better assured than with his grandmother, who offers
-to provide his education, and is likely to make him her heir. My
-experience in Georgia renewed my self-confidence, and I doubt I may yet
-be of some use to my fellow-creatures."
-
-"You could scarce fail in that," she answered gently. "I remember how
-those poor wretches at Lambeth loved you."
-
-Her voice was unaltered. It had all that grave music he remembered of
-old, when she spoke of serious things. It soothed him to sit in the
-darkness and hear her talk, and he dreaded the coming of light that
-would break the spell.
-
-Did he love her as he had loved her before those slow years of
-severance? Yes. Her lightest word thrilled him. He thought of the
-change in her with unspeakable dread; but he knew that it would not
-change his heart. Lovely or unlovely she would still be Antonia, the
-woman he adored. A footman came in to light the candles.
-
-"This half darkness is very pleasant, madam," Stobart said hurriedly.
-"Do you desire more light?"
-
-"I am expecting a friend to take tea with me, and I can hardly receive
-her in the dark. You may light the candles, Robert."
-
-There were six candles in each of two bronze candelabra on the
-mantelpiece, and two more in tall silver candlesticks on the
-writing-table. Stobart sat looking down at the fading embers, and did
-not lift his eyes till the servant had left the room. Then, as the
-door shut, he looked up and saw Antonia watching him in the bright
-candlelight.
-
-He gave a sudden cry, in uncontrollable emotion, and burst into tears.
-"You--you are not changed!" he cried, as soon as he could control his
-speech. "Oh, madam, I beseech you not to despise me for these unmanly
-tears! but--but I was told----"
-
-"You were told that the disease had used me very cruelly; that I should
-be better dead than such a horrid spectacle," she said. "I know that
-has been the talk of the town--and I let them talk. I have done with
-the town."
-
-"Thank God!" he exclaimed, starting up from his chair and walking about
-the room in a tumult of emotion. "Thank God, it was a lie that old
-woman told me. It would have broken my heart to know that your divine
-charity had cost you the loss of your beauty."
-
-His eyes shone with wonder and delight as he looked at her. She was
-greatly changed, but in his sight not less lovely. Her bloom was gone.
-She could no longer dazzle the mob in Hyde Park by her vivid beauty.
-She was very pale, and her cheeks were hollow and thin. Her eyes looked
-unnaturally large, and her hair, once so luxuriant, was clustered in
-short curls under a little lace cap.
-
-"Oh, so far as that goes, sir, I renounce any claim I ever had to rank
-among beauties," she said, amused at his surprise. "Through the devoted
-care of a friend I was spared the worst kind of disfigurement; but as I
-have lost my complexion, my figure, and my hair, I can no longer hope
-to take any place among the Waldegraves and Hamiltons. And I have done
-with the great world and its vanities."
-
-"Then you will give yourself to that better world--the world of the
-true believer; you will be among the saved?"
-
-"Alas, sir, I am no nearer the heavenly kingdom than I was before I
-sickened of the earthly one. I am very tired of the pomps and vanities,
-but I cannot entertain the hope of finding an alternative pleasure
-in sermons and long prayers, or the pious company Lady Huntingdon
-assembles every Thursday evening."
-
-"If you have renounced the world of pleasure--the rest will follow."
-
-"You think a woman must live in some kind of fever? I own that Lady
-Fanny Shirley seems always as busy and full of engagements as if she
-were at the top of the _ton_. She flies from one end of London to the
-other to hear a new preacher, and makes more fuss about the opening of
-some poor little chapel in the suburbs, than the Duchess of Buccleuch
-makes about an _al fresco_ ball that costs thousands. There is the
-chairman's knock. Perhaps you will scarce care to meet my lively
-friend, Mrs. Granger, in your sad circumstances."
-
-"Not for the world. Adieu, madam. I shall go to Mortlake to-morrow to
-look at my poor Lucy's resting-place, and shall start the next day for
-Bath to see my son; and thence to Bristol, where I hope to find Mr.
-Wesley."
-
-He bent down to kiss her hand, so thin and so alabaster white, and said
-in a low voice, with his head still bent--
-
-"Dare I hope that my madness of the past is pardoned?"
-
-"The past is past," she answered coldly. "The world has changed for
-both of us. Adieu."
-
-He left her, passing Mrs. Granger in the hall.
-
-"You have admitted a sneaking Methodist," cried Patty, "after denying
-yourself to all the people of fashion in London."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Mr. Wesley received the returning prodigal with kindness. In that vast
-enterprise of one who said "My parish is the world," loyal adherents
-were of unspeakable value. The few churchmen who served under his
-banner were but a sprinkling compared with his lay itinerants; and
-Stobart was among the best of these. He was too manly a man to think
-the worse of his helper for having changed gown for sword during a
-troubled interval of his life; for he divined that Stobart must have
-been in some bitter strait before he went back to the soldier's trade.
-
-He listened with interest to Stobart's American adventures, and
-congratulated him upon having been with Wolfe at Quebec.
-
-"'Twas a glorious victory," he said; "but I doubt the French may yet
-prove too strong for us in Canada, and that we are still far from a
-peaceful settlement."
-
-"They are strong in numbers, sir, but weak in leaders. Levis is a poor
-substitute for Montcalm, and, if the Governor Vaudreuil harasses him
-and ties his hands, as he harassed the late marquis, whom he hated, his
-work will be difficult. I should not have left the regiment while there
-was a chance of more fighting, if I had not been disabled by my wounds."
-
-"You were badly wounded?"
-
-"I had a bullet through my ribs that looked like making an end of me;
-and I walk lame still from a ball in my left hip. I spent eight weeks
-in the general hospital at Quebec, where the nuns tended me with an
-angelic kindness; and I was still but a feeble specimen of humanity
-when I set out on the journey to Georgia, through a country beset by
-Indians."
-
-"I honour those good women for their charity, Stobart; but I hope you
-did not let them instil their pernicious doctrine into your mind while
-it was enfeebled by sickness."
-
-"No, sir. Yet there was one pious enthusiast whom I could not silence;
-and be not offended if I say that her fervent discourse about spiritual
-things reminded me of your own teaching."
-
-"Surely that's not possible!"
-
-"Extremes meet, sir; and, I doubt, had you not been a high-church
-Methodist you would have been a Roman Catholic of the most exalted
-type."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Stobart accompanied Mr. Wesley from Bristol to St. Ives, then back
-to Bristol by a different route, taking the south coast of Cornwall
-and Devonshire. From Bristol they crossed to Ireland; and returned
-by Milford Haven through Wales to London, a tour that lasted till the
-first days of October.
-
-Wesley was then fifty-seven years of age, in the zenith of his renown
-as the founder of a sect that had spread itself abroad with amazing
-power since the day when a handful of young men at Oxford, poor,
-obscure, unpretending, had met together in each other's rooms to pray
-and expound the Scriptures, and by their orderly habits, and the method
-with which they conducted all their spiritual exercises, had won for
-themselves the name of "methodists." From those quiet rooms at Oxford
-had arisen a power that had shaken the Church of England, and which
-might have reinforced and strengthened that Church with an infinite
-access of vigour, enthusiasm, and piety, had English churchmen so
-willed. But the Methodists had been driven from the fold and cast upon
-their own resources. They were shut out of the churches; but, as one of
-the society protested, the fields were open to them, and they had the
-hills for their pulpit, the heavens for their sounding board.
-
-George Stobart flung himself heart and soul into his work as an
-itinerant preacher, riding through the country with Mr. Wesley,
-preaching at any of the smaller towns and outlying villages to
-which his leader sent him, and confronting the malice of "baptized
-barbarians" with a courage as imperturbable as Wesley's. To be welcomed
-with pious enthusiasm, or to be assailed with the vilest abuse, seemed
-a matter of indifference to the Methodist itinerants. Their mission
-was to carry the tidings of salvation to the lost sheep of Israel; and
-more or less of ill usage suffered on their way counted for little in
-the sum of their lives. 'Twas a miracle, considering the violence of
-the mob and the inefficiency of rustic constables, that not one of
-these enthusiasts lost his life at the hands of enemies scarce less
-ferocious than the Indians on the banks of the Monongahela. But in
-those savage scenes it seemed ever as if a special providence guarded
-John Wesley and his followers. Many and many a time the rabble rout
-seemed possessed by Moloch, and the storm of stones and clods flew fast
-around the preacher's head; and again and again he passed unharmed out
-of the demoniac herd. Missiles often glanced aside and wounded the
-enemy, for the aim of blind hate was seldom true; and if Wesley did not
-escape injury on every occasion, his wounds were never serious enough
-to drive him from the stand he had taken by the market cross or in the
-churchyard, in outhouse or street, on common or hillside. He might
-finish his discourse while a stream of blood trickled down his face, or
-the arm that he would fain have raised in exhortation hung powerless
-from a blow; but in none of his wanderings had he been silenced or
-acknowledged defeat.
-
-It was John Wesley's privilege, or his misfortune, at this time to
-stand alone in the world, unfettered by any tie that could hamper him
-in his life's labour. He was childless; and hard fate had given him a
-wife so uncongenial, so tormenting in her causeless jealousy and petty
-tyranny, that 'twas but an act of self-defence to leave her. In the
-earlier years of their marriage she accompanied him on his journeys;
-but as she quarrelled with his sister-in-law, Charles Wesley's
-amiable helpmeet, and insulted every woman he called his friend,
-her companionship must have been a thorn in the flesh rather than a
-blessing. His brother Charles--once the other half of his soul--was now
-estranged. Their opinions differed upon many points, and John, as the
-bolder spirit, had gone far beyond the order-loving and placable poet,
-who deemed no misfortune so terrible for the Methodists as to stand
-outside the pale of the Church, albeit they might be strong enough in
-their own unaided power to gather half the Protestant world within
-their fold. Charles thought of himself and his brother Methodists only
-as more fervent members of the Church of England, never as the founders
-of an independent establishment, primitive in the simplicity of its
-doctrine and observances, modern in its fitness to the needs of modern
-life.
-
-John Wesley was now almost at the height of his power, and strong
-enough in the number of his followers, and in their profound affection
-for his person, to laugh at insult, and to defy even so formidable an
-assailant as Dr. Lavington, Bishop of Exeter, with whom he was carrying
-on a pamphlet war.
-
-George Stobart loved the man and honoured the teacher. It was a
-pleasure to him to share the rough and smooth of Wesley's pilgrimage,
-to ride a sorry jade, even, for the privilege of riding at the side of
-one of the worst and boldest horsemen in England, who was not unlikely
-to come by a bad fall before the end of his journey. In those long
-stages there was ample leisure for the two friends to share their
-burden of sorrows and perplexities, and for heart to converse with
-heart.
-
-Wesley was too profound a student of his fellow men not to have
-fathomed George Stobart's mind in past years, when Antonia's lover
-was himself but half conscious of the passion that enslaved him; and,
-remembering this, he was careful not to say too much of the young wife
-who was gone, or the love-match which had ended so sadly. He knew that
-in heart, at least, Stobart had been unfaithful to that sacred tie;
-but although he deplored the sin he could not withhold his compassion
-from the sinner. The Methodist leader had been singularly unlucky in
-affairs of the heart, from the day when at Savannah he allowed himself
-to be persuaded out of an engagement with a girl he loved, to the hour
-when he took a Zantippe for his spouse; and it may be that his own
-unfortunate marriage, and the memory of Grace Murray, that other woman
-once so dearly loved and once his plighted wife, made him better able
-to sympathise with the victim of a misplaced affection.
-
-It was after Stobart had been working with him all through the summer
-and autumn, and when that eventful year of 1760 was waning, that Wesley
-for the first time spoke of Antonia.
-
-"Your kinswoman Lady Kilrush?" he inquired. "What has become of so much
-beauty and fashion? I have not seen the lady's name in the evening
-papers for an age."
-
-"Lady Kilrush has withdrawn herself from society. She has discovered
-how poor a thing a life of pleasure is when the bloom of novelty is off
-it."
-
-"Aye, aye. Fashion's child has cut open the top of her drum and found
-nothing but emptiness in the toy. Did I not hear, by-the-bye, when I
-was last in London, that the poor lady had come through an attack of
-confluent smallpox with the loss of her beauty? If it be so, I hope
-she may awaken to the expectation of a kingdom where all faces are
-beautiful in the light that shines around the throne of God."
-
-"No, sir, her ladyship has lost but little of her beauty. And it is not
-because she can no longer excel there that she has left the world of
-fashion."
-
-And then Stobart took courage for the first time to speak freely of the
-woman he loved, and told Mr. Wesley the story of his wife's death-bed
-and Antonia's devotion. But when questioned as to the lady's spiritual
-state, he had to confess that her opinions had undergone no change.
-
-"And can this presumptuous worm still deny her Maker? Can this heart
-which melts at a sister's distress remain adamant against Christ? It is
-a mystery! I know that the man atheist is common enough--an arrogant
-wretch, like David Hume, who thinks himself wiser than God who made
-the universe. But can a woman, a being that should be all softness and
-humility, set up her shallow reason against the light of nature and
-revelation, the light that comes to the savage in the wilderness and
-tells him there is an avenging God; the light that shows the child, as
-soon as he can think, that there is something better and higher than
-the erring mortals he knows, somewhere a world more beautiful than the
-garden where he plays? Stobart, I grieve that there should be such a
-woman, and that you should be her friend."
-
-"The fabric of our friendship was torn asunder before I went to
-America, sir. I doubt if the ravelled edges will ever meet again."
-
-"And you heave a sigh as you say it! You regret the loss of a
-friendship that might have shipwrecked your immortal soul."
-
-"Oh, sir, why must my soul be the forfeit? Might it not be my happiness
-to save hers?"
-
-"You were her friend and companion for years. Did you bring her nearer
-God?"
-
-"Alas, no!"
-
-"Abjure her company then for ever. I warned you of your peril when
-you had a wife, when I feared your spirit hovered on the brink of
-hell--for remember, Stobart, there is no such height of holiness as
-it is impossible to fall from. I adjured you to renounce that woman's
-company as you would avoid companionship with Satan. I warn you even
-more solemnly to-day; for at that time it was a sin to love her, and
-your conscience might have been your safeguard. You are a free man now;
-and you may account it no sin to love an infidel."
-
-"Is it a sin, sir, even when that love goes hand in hand with the
-desire to bring her into Christ's fold?"
-
-"It is a sin, George. It is the way to everlasting perdition, it is the
-choice of evil instead of good, Lucifer instead of Christ. Do you know
-what would happen if you were to marry this woman?"
-
-"You would cease to be my friend, perhaps?"
-
-"No, my son. I could not cease to love you and to pity you; but you
-could be no more my fellow worker. This pleasant communion in work and
-hope would be at an end for ever. At our last Conference we resolved
-to expel any member of our society who should marry an unbeliever. We
-have all seen the evil of such unions, the confusion worse confounded
-when the cloven foot crosses the threshold of a Christian's home, the
-uselessness of a Teacher whose heart is divided between fidelity to
-Christ and affection for a wicked wife. We resolved that no member of
-our society must marry without first taking counsel with some of our
-most serious members, and being governed by their advice."
-
-"Oh, sir, this is tyranny!"
-
-"It is the upshot of long experience. He who is not with me is against
-me. We can have no half-hearted helpers. You must choose whom you will
-serve, George: Christ or Satan."
-
-"Ah, sir, my fortitude will not be put to the test. The lady for whom
-I would lay down my life looks upon me with a chilling disdain. 'Tis
-half a year since I forced myself upon her presence to acknowledge her
-goodness to my wife; and in all that time she has given me no sign that
-she remembers my existence."
-
-"Shun her, my friend; walk not in the way of sinners; and thank God on
-your knees that your Delilah scorns you."
-
-George Stobart spent many a bitter hour after that conversation with
-his leader. To be forbidden to think of the woman he worshipped now,
-when no moral law came between him and her love, when from the
-worldling's standpoint it was the most natural thing that he should try
-to win her; he, who for her sake had been disinherited, and who had by
-his life of self-denial proved himself above all mercenary views. Why
-should he not pursue her, with a love so sincere and so ardent that
-it might prevail even over indifference, might conquer disdain? There
-was not a man in his late regiment, not a man in the London clubs, who
-would not laugh him to scorn for letting spiritual things stand between
-him and that earthly bliss. And yet for him who had taken up the Cross
-of Christ, who had given his best years and all the power of heart and
-brain to preaching Christ's Law of self-surrender and submission, how
-horrible a falling away would it be if he were to abandon his beloved
-leader, turn deserter while the Society was still on its trial before
-the sight of men, and while every fervent voice was an element of
-strength. He thought of Wesley's other helpers, and recalled those
-ardent enthusiasts who had broken all family ties, parted from father
-and mother, sisters and brothers and plighted wife, renounced the
-comforts of home, and suffered the opprobrium of the world, in order to
-spend and be spent in the task of converting the English heathen, the
-toilers in the copper mine or the coal pit, the weavers of Somerset and
-Yorkshire, the black faces, the crooked backs, the forgotten sheep of
-Episcopal Shepherds.
-
-But had any man living given up more than he was called upon to
-surrender, he asked himself? Who among those soldiers and servants of
-Christ had loved a woman as beautiful, loved with a passion as fervent?
-
-He went back to London discouraged, yet not despairing. There was still
-the hope, faint perhaps, that he might lead that bright spirit out of
-darkness into light; win her for Christ, and so win her for himself.
-Ah, what an ecstatic dream, what an ineffable hope! To kneel by her
-side at the altar, to know her among the redeemed, the chosen of God!
-For that end what labour could be too difficult?
-
-But, alas! between him and that hope there came the cloud of a terrible
-fear. He knew the Tempter's power over senses and soul, knew that to be
-in Antonia's company was to forget the world present and the world to
-come, to remember nothing, value nothing, but her, to become a worse
-idolator than they of old who worshipped Moloch and gave their children
-to the fire.
-
-Wesley had warned him. Should he, in defiance of that warning from the
-best and wisest friend he ever had, enter the house where the Tempter
-lay in wait to destroy him, where he must meet the Enemy of Man? Call
-that enemy by what name he would, Satan, or love, he knew himself
-incapable of resistance.
-
-He resolved to abide by Wesley's advice. He went back to his desolate
-home, and resumed his work in Lambeth Marsh, where he was welcomed with
-an affection that touched him deeply. His many converts, the awakened
-and believing Christians, flocked to his chapel and his schools;
-but that which moved him most was the welcome of the sinners and
-reprobates, whom he had taught to love him, though he could not teach
-them to forsake sin.
-
-Before resuming his mission work in the old district he had ascertained
-that Lady Kilrush no longer went there. She still ministered to the
-Lambeth poor by deputy, and Mrs. Sophy Potter came among them often. He
-was weak enough to think with rapture of conversing with Sophy, from
-whom he would hear of Antonia. And so in the long dark winter he took
-up the old drudgery, teaching and exhorting, strenuous in good works,
-but with a leaden heart.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVIII.
-
-
-"AS A GRAIN OF MUSTARD SEED."
-
-
-John Wesley was not without compassion for a friend and disciple
-for whom he had something of a fatherly affection. He too had been
-called upon to renounce the woman he loved, the excellent, gifted,
-enthusiastic Grace Murray, whose humble origin was forgotten in the
-force and purity of her character. He had been her affianced husband,
-had thought of her for a long time as his future wife, lived in daily
-companionship with her on his pious pilgrimages, made her his helpmeet
-in good works; and yet, on the assertion of a superior claim, he had
-given her to another. That bitter experience enabled him to measure the
-pain of Stobart's renunciation. He watched his friend's course with
-anxious care, lest heart should fail and feet stumble on the stony road
-of self-sacrifice; and their intercourse, while the great itinerant
-remained in London, was even closer than it had been before.
-
-Mr. Wesley had much to do that winter at his home by the Foundery
-Chapel. He had his literary work, the preparation of his books for
-the press, since each year of his life added to the list of those
-religious works, some of them written, others only edited, by himself,
-which were published at his risk, and which for several years resulted
-in pecuniary loss, though they were afterwards a revenue. He had the
-services of the chapel, which were numerous and at different hours, and
-he had his work abroad, preaching in many other parts of London.
-
-It was in the early morning after one of his five-o'clock services at
-the Foundery that he was told a lady desired to see him. He had but
-just come in from the chapel, and his breakfast was on the table in
-the neat parlour where he lived and worked, a Spartan breakfast of
-oatmeal porridge, with the luxury of a small pot of tea and a little
-dry toast. It was only half-past six, and Mrs. Wesley had not left her
-chamber--a fortunate circumstance, perhaps, since the visitor was young
-and beautiful.
-
-Mr. Wesley had many uninvited visitors, and it was nothing new for him
-to be intruded on even at so early an hour. He rose to receive the
-lady, and motioned her to a seat with a stately graciousness. He was
-a small man, attired with an exquisite neatness in a stuff cassock
-and breeches, and black silk stockings, and shoes with large silver
-buckles. His benign countenance was framed in dark auburn hair that
-fell in waving masses, like John Milton's, and at this period showed no
-touch of grey.
-
-"In what matter can I have the honour to serve you, madam?" he asked,
-scanning the pale face opposite him, and wondering at its beauty.
-
-It had not the bloom of health which should have gone with the lady's
-youth, but it was as perfect in every line as the Belvidere Apollo, and
-the eyes, with their look of mournful deprecation, were the loveliest
-he had ever seen--lovelier than Grace Murray's, which had once been
-_his_ loveliest.
-
-"I have come to you in great trouble of mind, sir," the lady began in a
-low voice, but with such perfect enunciation, such beauty of tone, that
-every syllable had full value. "I am a very unhappy woman."
-
-"Many have come to me in the same sad plight, madam, and I have found
-but one way of helping them. 'Tis to lead them to the foot of the
-Cross. There alone can they find the Friend who can make their sorrows
-here their education for heaven."
-
-"Oh, sir, if I believed in heaven, and that I should meet the dead whom
-I love there, I should have no sorrows. I should only have to wait."
-
-"Alas, madam, can it be that you are without that blessed hope--that
-this world, with its cruel inequalities and injustices, is the only
-world your mind can conceive? Can you look upon the martyrdom of
-so many of your fellow creatures--diseased, deformed, blind, dumb,
-imbecile, or held for a lifetime in the bondage of abject poverty,
-never knowing respite from toil, or the possibility of comfort,--can
-you contemplate these outcasts, and yet believe there are no
-compensations hereafter, and that a God of infinite mercy can overlook
-their sufferings?"
-
-"You believe in a heaven for these--a land of Beulah, where _they_ will
-have the fat things? But what if one of these be a blasphemer? What if
-he curse God and die? What will be his destiny then, sir? Oh, I know
-your answer. The worm that dieth not--the fire that is not quenched.
-What of your scheme of compensations then, sir?"
-
-"Did you come here to shake my faith, madam, or to ask for spiritual
-aid from me?" Wesley asked severely.
-
-His searching gaze had taken in every detail of her appearance: the
-lovely face, whose ivory pallor was accentuated by a black silk hood;
-the grey lute-string gown, whose Quaker hue could not disguise the
-richness of the fabric; the diamond hoop-rings that flashed from under
-a black silk mitten. Dress, bearing, accent stamped the woman of
-quality.
-
-"I meant no affront, sir. I talk at random, as women mostly do. I came
-here in weariness of spirit, and I scarce know how you can help me. I
-came because I have heard much of your merits, your amiable character,
-your willingness to befriend sinners. And I have listened to your
-sermons at West Street Chapel in the month last past with admiration
-and respect."
-
-"But without belief in Him whose message I bring? Oh, madam, you might
-as well be at the playhouse laughing at that vulgar buffoon Samuel
-Foote. My sermons can do you no good."
-
-"Nay, sir, if I thought that I should not be here this morning. I rose
-after a sleepless night and came through the darkness to hear you
-preach. If I cannot believe all that you believe, I can appreciate the
-wisdom and the purity of your discourse."
-
-"Look into your heart, madam, and if you can find faith there; but as a
-grain of mustard seed----"
-
-"Alas, sir, I look into my heart and find only emptiness. My sorrows
-are not such as the world pities. My heart aches with the monotony
-of life. I stand alone, unloved and unloving. I have tasted all the
-pleasures this world can offer, have enjoyed all, and wearied of all. I
-come to you in my weariness as the first preacher I have ever listened
-to with interest. Mr. Whitefield's discourse, whom I heard but once,
-only shocked me."
-
-"Come, and come again, madam, and may my poor eloquence lead you to
-Christ. I should rejoice for more reasons than I can tell you, if,
-among the many souls that I have been the means of snatching from the
-brink of hell, Lady Kilrush should be one."
-
-"What, Mr. Wesley, you know me?"
-
-"Yes, madam, I remember the Bartolozzi head which was in all the
-printsellers' windows two years ago; and I should be more a stranger to
-this town than I am if I had not heard of the beautiful Lady Kilrush
-and her infidel opinions."
-
-"You have heard of me from my lord's cousin, Mr. Stobart, perhaps."
-
-"Mr. Stobart has spoken of your ladyship, deploring, as I do, the gulf
-that yawns between you and him."
-
-"That gulf has widened, sir; for I have seen Mr. Stobart only once
-since he came from America."
-
-"He has been travelling about England with me--and only came to London
-last October. I know, madam, that his respect for your person is only
-less than his grief at your unhappy opinions."
-
-"We cannot change the fabric of our minds, sir."
-
-"_We_ cannot; but God can."
-
-"You believe in instantaneous conversions--in a single act of faith
-that can make a Christian in a moment?"
-
-"The Scriptures warrant that belief, madam. All the conversions related
-in the Gospel were instantaneous. Yet I will own that I was once
-unwilling to believe in the miracle of Christian perfection attained by
-a single impulse of the soul. But in the long course of my ministry I
-have seen so many blessed examples that I can no longer doubt that the
-Divine Spirit works wonders as great in this degenerate age as on that
-day of Pentecost, the birthday of the Christian Church. Instead of the
-miracle of fiery tongues, we have the miracle of changed hearts."
-
-"And you think that Christian perfection attained in a moment will
-stand the wear and tear of life, and be strong enough to resist the
-world, the flesh, and the devil?" Antonia asked, with an incredulous
-smile.
-
-"Nay, madam, I dare not affirm that all who think themselves justified
-are secure of salvation. These sudden recruits are sometimes deserters.
-I do not hold the tenets of the Moravians, who declare that the
-converted sinner cannot fall away, whereas, after our justification by
-faith, we are every moment pleasing or displeasing unto God according
-to our works, according to the whole of our present inward tempers and
-outward behaviour. But I have never despaired of a sinner, madam; nor
-can I believe that a spirit so bright as yours will be lost eternally.
-Long or late the hour of sanctifying Grace must come."
-
-"Perhaps, Mr. Wesley, had you been reared as I was--taught to doubt
-the existence of a God before I was old enough to read the Gospel--you
-would be no less a sceptic than I am."
-
-"I was indeed more fortunate--for I was born into a household of
-faith. Yet I have never hardened my heart against the man or woman
-whose education has only taught them to doubt, for I have sometimes
-thought, with unspeakable fear, that, had I given my mind to the study
-of mathematics or geometry, I too might have been one of those nice
-philosophers who will accept no creed that cannot be demonstrated like
-a proposition in Euclid. I thank God that I learnt to love Him, and
-to walk in His ways, before I learnt to pry into the mysteries of His
-Being or to question His dealings with mankind."
-
-"No doubt that is happiest, sir--to shut one's mind against facts and
-believe in miracles."
-
-And then, gradually won to fullest confidence by his quick sympathy,
-Antonia told John Wesley much of her life story, only avoiding, with
-an exquisite delicacy, all those passages which touched the secrets of
-a woman's heart. She told him how she had been left alone in the world
-with all the power that riches can give to a young woman, how she had
-tried all the resources of wealth, and found all wanting, even her
-experience of mission work among the outcast poor.
-
-"I doubt you were happier engaged in that work than you have ever been
-in the mansions of the great," he said.
-
-"No, Mr. Wesley, I will not pretend as much. While the pleasures of the
-great world were new I loved them dearly; but a third season brought
-satiety, and I sickened of it all. I know not why I sickened of my
-visits to the poor, for my heart was ever touched by their sufferings,
-and sometimes by their patience. It may be that it was because I was
-alone, and without an adviser, after Mr. Stobart left England."
-
-"Will you resume that work now, madam? I doubt you are familiar with
-the parable of the talents, and know that to have youth and wealth,
-intellect and energy, and not to use them for others' good----"
-
-"Oh, it is hateful! Be sure, sir, I know what a wretch I am. I spent
-last summer in Ireland, where the poor love me; but I hardly ever went
-near them. I did not let them starve. My steward and my waiting-woman
-carried them all they wanted, while I dawdled in my rose-garden or
-yawned over a novel. I was discouraged somehow. Those poor creatures
-are all Roman Catholics. They would talk to me of a creed which I had
-been taught to despise. There was a gulf between us."
-
-"But you will resume your charitable work in London, where the people's
-religion need not offend you, since they are mostly heathens."
-
-"Not at Lambeth! I cannot go back to Lambeth Marsh."
-
-She knew that Stobart was spending all his days in the old places. Not
-for worlds could she go back to the work which she had shared with him,
-and which had once been so full of innocent happiness.
-
-"Your ladyship can choose your district. The field is wide enough. Will
-you visit the sick poor in this neighbourhood, and will you accept my
-help and counsel?"
-
-"With a glad heart, sir. I sorely need a friend."
-
-"But you will not go as a heathen among heathens? You will carry the
-Gospel with you."
-
-"Yes, sir. If it will help your views that I should read the New
-Testament to your people, I would as leave do so as not. Indeed, I have
-read the Gospel to those who have asked me; and be sure I have never
-been so foolish as to obtrude my opinions upon them. 'Tis only by close
-questioning they have ever discovered my barren creed." And then she
-went on with a sigh, "Ah, sir, if you knew how I envy you the faith
-which opens new worlds, now that I have lost all interest in this one."
-
-"Do not despair of yourself, madam. I do not despair of you. The Lady
-Kilrush I had pictured to myself was an arrogant unbeliever, possessed
-by a devil of pride, and glorying in her infidelity. There is hope for
-the sceptic who has discovered how poor a thing this life is when we
-think it is all."
-
-She rose to take leave, and Wesley conducted her to the street, where a
-hackney coach was in waiting. He begged her to call upon him as often
-as she pleased during his stay in London, which would not be long; and
-he promised to send her the names and addresses, and particulars as to
-character and necessities, of the invalids whom he would advise her to
-visit.
-
-"On second thoughts I will not send you amongst the unconverted," he
-said, "but to some faithful Christians whose piety I doubt you will
-admire, however you may despise their simplicity."
-
-He went back to his study full of thought. Antonia's conversation had
-surprised and interested him. Unlucky as he had been in his own too
-hasty choice of a wife, he was a shrewd judge of women, and he felt
-assured that this was a good woman. Would it not then be a hard measure
-were he to come between George Stobart and an attachment which death
-had legitimatised? And what better chance could there be for this
-woman's conversion than her union with an honest, believing Christian?
-The Society's stringent rule had been inspired by the evil wrought by
-women of a very different stamp from this one.
-
-And yet was not this avowed infidel, so beautiful, so winning in her
-proud gentleness, only the Philistine Delilah in a new guise? The
-temptress, the lying spirit that betrayed the strong man of old, was
-there, perhaps, waiting to ensnare George Stobart's soul.
-
-"I must see of what spirit she is," Wesley told himself, "and if she
-may yet be numbered among the children of light."
-
- * * * * *
-
-A new phase of Antonia's life began after her interview with John
-Wesley. All that she had done in the past, in those dens of misery and
-crime by the Marsh, was as nothing compared with her work under his
-direction. At Lambeth she had but exercised a fine lady's capricious
-benevolence, obeying the whim of the moment: a creature of impulse,
-too lavish where her heart was touched, too easily revolted by the
-ugliness of vice. In the squalid regions that lay around the Foundery
-her charities were administered upon a different system. One of Mr.
-Wesley's best gifts was the faculty of order, and all things done
-under his direction were done with an admirable method and proportion.
-His Loan Society, which made advances of twenty shillings and upwards
-to the respectable poor--to be repaid in weekly instalments--his
-Dispensary, his day and night-classes all testified to his power
-of organization. From the days when a poor scholar at Oxford, he
-lived like an anchorite of the desert in order that he might feed
-starving prisoners and rescue fallen women, he had been experienced in
-systematic charity. From him, in the hours he could spare her before
-starting on his northern pilgrimage, she learnt how to distribute her
-alms with an unfailing justice, and how to make the best use of her
-time. Her visits in those homes of sickness and penury, which might
-have been hopelessly dreary without his directing spirit, became full
-of interest in the light of his all-comprehending mind.
-
-She sold three of her dress carriages and dismissed her second
-coachman. A hackney coach carried her to Moorfields every day, and she
-employed the greater part of the day in visiting the poor. She was
-often among Wesley's hearers at the evening service at the Foundery.
-His sermons touched her heart and almost convinced her reason. His
-simplicity of style and force of argument impressed her more than
-Whitefield's dramatic oratory. Mr. Wesley had no deep-drawn "Oh!" for
-Garrick to envy. His action was calm and pleasing, his voice clear and
-manly. He appealed to the heart and mind of his hearers by no studied
-effects, no flights of rhetoric, yet he never failed to hold them in
-the spell of that simple eloquence.
-
-Antonia was interested in the congregation as well as in the preacher.
-She was moved by the spectacle of all those fervent worshippers--mostly
-in the lower ranks of life--men and women of scantiest leisure, who
-gave much when they spent their evenings in the chapel; instead of at
-the playhouse, or by the fireside in the cosy parlour with cards and
-congenial company. For the first time she began to understand what
-the religious life meant, the life in which all earthly things are
-secondary. The earnest faces, the voices of a vast concourse singing
-Charles Wesley's exquisite hymns, moved her deeply.
-
-Her work took her mostly among the humble members of that Methodist
-Society which had begun twenty years before by the gathering together
-of eight or ten awakened souls, yearning for help and counsel, groaning
-under the burden of sin, and which was now so widespread a multitude.
-In the garrets and cellars, where she sat beside the bed of the sick
-and the dying, she found a fervour of unquestioning faith that startled
-and touched her. For these sufferers the Gospel she read was no history
-of things long past and done with, no story of a vanished life. It was
-the message of a living Friend, a Redeemer waiting to give them welcome
-in the Kingdom of the just made perfect, the world where there is no
-death. He who had promised the penitent thief a dwelling in Paradise
-was at the door of the death chamber; and to die was to pass to a life
-more beautiful than a child's dream of heaven.
-
-As the days and weeks went by, that Gospel story read so often under
-such solemn influences, with death hovering near, took a deeper hold
-upon Antonia's imagination. The message that she carried to others
-was for her also. She learnt to love the wise Teacher, the beneficent
-Healer, the Saviour of mankind. That name of Saviour pleased her. From
-the theologian's point of view she was, perhaps, no more a Christian
-than she had ever been. She dared not tell John Wesley, whom she
-revered, and who now accepted her as a brand snatched from the burning,
-that her faith was not his faith, that she was neither convinced of sin
-nor assured of Grace.
-
-Her awakening had been no sudden act, like the descent of the Spirit
-at Pentecost, but a gradual change in her whole nature, the widening
-of her sympathies, the growth of pity and of love. It was not of
-Christ the Sacrifice she thought, not of His atoning blood; but of
-Jesus the Great Exemplar, of Jesus who went about doing good. She
-would not question how it came to pass, but she believed that, in the
-dim long-ago, Divinity walked among mankind and wore the shape of
-man; to what end, except to make men better, she knew not. In all her
-conversation with Wesley's converts, however exalted their ideas might
-be, that earthly image was in her mind, Jesus, human and compassionate,
-the Comforter of human sorrows, the Sinless One who loved sinners.
-
-Wesley rejoiced with exceeding joy in her conversion. He had met her
-from time to time in the dwellings of the poor, had sat with her beside
-the bed of the dying, had seen her often among his congregation; and
-he believed that the work of Grace had begun, and that it needed but
-good influences to ensure her final perseverance and justification by
-faith. He wrote to George Stobart the night before he left London for
-the North.
-
- * * * * *
-
-"You have passed through a fiery trial, dear friend, and
-I admire your fortitude in renouncing a passion that was
-stronger than all things, except your hope of salvation. The
-lady you love has become my friend and fellow-worker, and I
-dare venture to believe that she has escaped from darkness
-into light, and that you may now enjoy her society without
-peril to your soul. Let me hear by-and-by how your suit
-prospers. Her ladyship is a woman of rare gifts, and of a
-noble character.
-
- "Yours in Christ,
-
- "J. W."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIX.
-
-
-"CHOOSE OF TWO LOVES."
-
-
-Wesley's letter came upon George Stobart like the sudden opening of a
-gate into Paradise. It was a year since he had seen Antonia's face.
-For a year he had been the martyr of obedience to his spiritual guide,
-had surrendered every hope of earthly happiness, and had submitted to
-regard his life on earth only as an apprenticeship to the life to come.
-
-And in a moment he was free, free to hope, free to behold the face, to
-hear the voice he loved. Free to win her, if he could. There was the
-question! He had never yet presumed, in his more thoughtful moods, to
-believe his love returned. How coldly she had bidden him adieu when
-last they met! Her manner had been without resentment, and without
-kindness. It seemed as if, when he offended her by his shameless
-addresses, he had ceased to exist. Her goodness to his wife had no
-relation to her friendship for him.
-
-How could he approach her? Not in her own house, till he had some
-ground for hoping that her door would not be closed against him.
-He would steal upon her path unawares, and endeavour to regain her
-confidence by gentle means. He hurried to the Foundery to answer
-Wesley's letter in person, and found that good man busy with his
-preparations for leaving London. From him he heard of Antonia's
-progress in good works, and in her attendance at Wesley's services.
-
-"That heart which you thought adamant has melted, George, and the
-Redeemer's saving Grace will be exemplified in this ransomed soul. She
-is so fine a creature, so generous, charitable, compassionate, that it
-wrung my heart to hear her, in this room, less than three months ago,
-boldly confess herself an infidel."
-
-He told Stobart all that Antonia had done for his poor, and, at his
-request, gave him the addresses of some of the people she visited.
-
-"They have all learnt to love her," he said, "which has not been always
-the case when I have sent women of exalted piety upon such missions.
-Her high-bred manner has a genial charm that wins them unawares. She
-does not attempt to teach, but she reads the Gospel to them; and I may
-tell you that she has an exquisite voice, and is a most accomplished
-reader. It was but the other day I approved of a female preacher, the
-first we have ever had, whose work so far has prospered. Should Lady
-Kilrush continue in well-doing, I should like her occasionally to
-address a room full of working women. A woman should know best how to
-reach women's hearts."
-
-Stobart smiled at the suggestion. Antonia, the Voltairean, the friend
-of Lady Bolingbroke, the avowed sceptic, the woman of fashion,
-preaching the Gospel to a crowd of tatterdemalions in a Whitechapel
-kitchen! If Wesley could bring her to that pass he was indeed a
-miracle-worker. Could it be that she had cast a spell around the leader
-of the Methodists, and that his belief in her conversion was but the
-delusion of a kind heart, willing to think the best of so beautiful and
-gracious a creature?
-
-Stobart was not an ardent believer in sudden conversions, though, in
-the course of his field preaching, it had been a common thing for
-him to see men and women fling themselves on their knees and declare
-that they were "saved," convinced of sin, justified, sanctified, on
-the instant, by one single operation of the Holy Spirit. He had seen
-something of the convulsionists of Bristol. The miracle of Pentecost
-had, in a lesser degree, been often repeated before his eyes; and among
-these instantaneous conversions he knew of some that had been the
-beginning of changed and holy lives. But he could not picture Antonia
-amongst Wesley's easily won converts. Had he not wrestled again and
-again with that stubborn spirit of unbelief, in the days when they were
-friends, and when he never spared hard words? All his arguments, all
-his pleadings, had failed to change her.
-
-He did not allow for the influence of time, satiety, _Weltschmerz_, the
-aching void of a life without love.
-
-He rode with Wesley as far as Barnet, on the first stage of his
-Northern journey, heard him preach there in the evening to a
-closely-packed audience, and rode back to London next morning. It was
-late in the afternoon, a mild spring afternoon, when, after visiting
-several houses in the neighbourhood of Moorfields, he discovered Lady
-Kilrush in an underground kitchen, seated by the sick-bed of a cobbler,
-a young man with a wife and two children, dying of a consumption. The
-wife sat on one side of the bed, her husband's hand clasped in hers,
-Antonia on the other side reading the Gospel of St. John, in those
-thrilling tones which Wesley had noted. She looked up as Stobart
-entered the kitchen, and her cheek crimsoned as she recognized him; but
-when she spoke her voice was cold as at their parting.
-
-"I thought it was Mr. Wesley," she said. "Has he sent you to see our
-poor Morris? This gentleman is one of Mr. Wesley's helpers, Morris."
-
-The sick man smiled faintly, and held out a wasted hand to the visitor.
-
-"Morris and I are old friends," Stobart said gently. "No, Lady Kilrush,
-I was not sent here," and then seeing there was no vacant chair, he
-stood with his elbow on the mantelpiece, waiting for Antonia to go on
-reading.
-
-"'I am the true Vine,'" she began, and read to the end of the chapter;
-then rose quietly, bent over the dying man, murmured a few kind words,
-pressed the wife's hand tenderly, and stole from the room, almost as
-noiselessly as if she had been indeed the good angel these people
-thought her. Stobart's survey of the wretched room had shown him that
-her charity had provided the sufferer with every comfort and even
-luxury that could be administered in such a home.
-
-He followed her into the squalid street. The sky above the dilapidated
-red tile roofs was blue and bright, and the north-west wind blew the
-freshness of April flowers from the fields and gardens between Finsbury
-and Islington. Antonia had no carriage waiting for her.
-
-"I forget that I am a fine lady when I come here," she said, smiling at
-him. "I walk from house to house, and take a hackney-coach when I have
-done my day's work."
-
-"Shall I get you a coach now? It is nearly six o'clock. Or will you
-walk a little way?"
-
-"I should like to walk. The fresh air is very pleasant after that warm
-room; that room which he will only leave for the grave, poor soul. But
-it is not of him one thinks most, but of the wife. She so loves him.
-Happily she counts on being with him again--in a better world. She has
-what Mr. Wesley calls vital religion."
-
-"Mr. Wesley has told me something that has made me very happy," Stobart
-said in a low voice that trembled ever so slightly. "He has told me
-that your heart is changed, that you do not think as you once thought."
-
-"Oh, I am changed--heart, mind, desires, fancies--yes, all are changed.
-But I know not if it is for the better. I have left off caring for
-things. I feel ever so old. Nothing in this life interests me, except
-sorrow and suffering. I went to Mr. Wesley when my spirits had sunk to
-despair, and he has been my good friend. I go home almost happy, after
-I have worked all day among his poor."
-
-"And he has taught you to believe in Christ?"
-
-"One does not learn to believe. That must come from within, I think. I
-have come to feel the need of God, the need of a world after death; but
-I doubt I am no nearer believing in miracles than I was ten years ago
-when first I read Voltaire. If to love Jesus is to be a Christian, why
-then I am a Christian. But if a Christian must think exactly as you do,
-or as Mr. Wesley does, I am outside the pale."
-
-"Oh, but the fuller light will come! 'God is light.' He will not leave
-a soul so precious in darkness. I knew long ago, when I saw you among
-those wretched creatures at Lambeth, I knew you could not be for ever
-lost."
-
-They walked on a little way in silence, facing towards the setting sun.
-They were crossing the public garden at Moorfields, where the cits and
-their wives and families walked on fine evenings.
-
-"Will you not resume your work in my district? Our people long for you.
-Miss Potter is very kind--and your bounty is lavish--but they all want
-_you_, all those whom you visited three years ago, and who remember
-you with affection. Cannot you spare a little time from these new
-pensioners for your old friends?"
-
-"Oh, sir, I doubt they are well cared for, now they have you."
-
-"But will you not help me a little? Ah, madam, could you but understand
-what your help means for me! If you avoid the old places, the old
-people, can I believe that you have pardoned my sin of the past? Surely
-that one passionate hour has been expiated by the remorse of years."
-
-"I have long since pardoned your folly, sir. Pray suffer me to forget
-it."
-
-Her cold disdain stung him to the quick. She did not even account his
-passion worth her anger. How could he ever hope to break through that
-adamant, to melt that ice?
-
-He was persistent in spite of her coldness, and at last she promised to
-return occasionally to her old work at Lambeth, and to visit the people
-he deemed most in need of her.
-
-"I can but give them my surplus hours," she said, "since the best part
-of my life is pledged to Mr. Wesley. And now, sir, be so obliging as to
-call a coach, and suffer me to bid you good evening."
-
-There was a stand of coaches close by, and he handed her to her seat in
-one. He stood bareheaded, watching her drive away. Her serious manner,
-with that touch of hauteur, kept him at an immeasurable distance. The
-familiar confidence of her old friendship seemed irrecoverably lost.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Nearly a year had gone since that meeting in the Whitechapel kitchen.
-It was spring again, but early spring, and the days were still short,
-and the skies still grey and cold, when George Stobart walked home
-with Antonia after her visit to another dying bed, the bed of extreme
-old age this time, the gradual fading out of the vital flame, feebler,
-paler, day by day, the bed of boundless faith and ecstatic anticipation
-of a new and fairer life.
-
-She had seen the last sands of another life run down in the autumn of
-the past year. She had kept her promise, and had gone back to Bellagio
-in September, and had watched by her Italian grandfather's dying bed--a
-peaceful end, in the odour of sanctity. She had followed the old man
-to his last resting-place, and had stayed at Bellagio long enough to
-make all arrangements for Francesca's wedding, and her establishment
-as mistress of the old villino. She was married at the New Year,
-handsomely dowered by her English cousin, and having chosen a worthy
-mate. Antonia's obligations to her humble kinsfolk had been fulfilled.
-
-Mr. Stobart and Lady Kilrush were on friendliest terms now; but no word
-of love had been spoken. To be with her, to hear her voice, to know
-that she liked his company, was so much; and to declare himself might
-be the breaking of a spell. They had been together often among the
-homes of the poor, in the library at St. James's Square, and sometimes
-in the churches and chapels where Wesley, Romaine, and other lights of
-the evangelical school were to be heard. But in all that time Stobart
-had obtained no farther profession of faith from Antonia.
-
-"If to love Christ is to be a Christian, I am one," she told him, when
-he tried to bring her to his own way of thinking, and that was all.
-
-Final perseverance, sanctification, justification, conviction of sin!
-Those phrases seemed to her only the shibboleth of a sect. But all the
-strength of her heart and intellect were engaged in those good works to
-which the Methodists attached only a secondary merit. Her compassion
-for human suffering was the dominating impulse of her life. She could
-feel for the thief in Newgate, pity the slut in Bridewell whose life
-had been one long disgrace. She had gone with Stobart into the prisons
-of London, those dark places as yet unvisited by Howard or Elizabeth
-Fry. She shrank from no form of suffering, so long as it was possible
-to help or to console.
-
-She had done with the world and its pleasures. The recluse is soon
-forgotten in the merry-go-round of society. Her duchesses had long
-ceased to trouble themselves about her. The princes and princesses
-had forgotten her existence. The new reign had brought with it new
-interests, a new set. Women were the top of the fashion who had been
-dowdies; men who had been blockheads were wits.
-
-Lord Dunkeld had married a rosy-cheeked damsel of eighteen summers,
-daughter and heiress of a Lord of Session, was settled on his Scotch
-estate, and had come to think Edinburgh the focus of intelligence
-and _ton_. The people who had courted and admired Lady Kilrush had
-long ceased to think of her, except as an eccentric, like Lady
-Huntingdon, who had caught the fever of piety that had been in the air
-for the last twenty years--the contagion of Methodism, Moravianism,
-Predestinarianism--some boring and essentially middle-class form of
-religion which banished her from polite company.
-
-A woman who neither visits nor gives entertainments is socially dead.
-Her female friends spoke of her sometimes with pity, as an unfortunate
-who was afraid to let the town see her altered face, and who had
-taken to religion as a substitute for beauty. The idea that she was
-disfigured having once got abroad, her old rivals were slow to believe
-her face unspoilt, though people who had seen her at one of Lady
-Huntingdon's Thursdays swore that she was almost as handsome as ever.
-
-"If she had not a cold, proud look that keeps an old friend at
-a distance," said one of her admirers, who had suffered one of
-Whitefield's sermons in order to meet her.
-
-"She would not have you near enough to discover the ravages of that
-horrid malady. I'll wager her countenance is plastered a quarter of an
-inch thick with white lead," retorted the rival belle.
-
-The library in St. James's Square was in the half light of a spring
-evening, as it had been a year ago when Stobart entered the room with
-so agonized an apprehension. He came in now with Antonia, a privileged
-guest, coming and going as in the years gone by, taking his rest by
-her fireside, after the burden of the day. Her only other visitors
-were Lady Margaret Laroche--who was faithful to her in spite of what
-she called her "degeneracy," and who came now and then to pour out her
-complaints at the foolishness of a world whose follies were necessary
-to her existence--and Patty Granger, whose dog-like fidelity made her
-ever welcome, and who loved to talk of Antonia's girlhood, and her own
-free and easy life in Covent Garden, when the General was a submissive
-lover, and not a peevish husband.
-
-Stobart had been unusually silent during the walk from Lambeth, and
-Antonia had been full of thought, impressed as she ever was by that
-mystery of the passing spirit, that unanswerable question, "Whither
-goest thou, oh, departing soul, or is thy journey for ever finished,
-and is man's instinctive belief in immortality a vain dream?"
-
-Antonia sank into her fireside chair, weary after a long day in
-wretched rooms, hearing and seeing sad things. She was almost too tired
-to talk, and was glad of Stobart's silence. Sophy would come presently
-and make the tea--it being supposed that no man-servant's hand was
-delicate enough to brew that choice infusion--and their spirits would
-revive. But in the meantime rest was all they wanted.
-
-It startled her from this reposeful feeling when Stobart rose abruptly
-and began to pace the room, for some minutes in silence, broken only by
-a sigh, then bursting into impassioned speech.
-
-"Antonia, I can lock up my heart no longer! 'Tis a year since I came
-from America to find a desolate home. For a year I have known myself a
-widower. Dare I break the spell of silence? Shall I lose all in asking
-for all? Will you banish me in anger, as you did when it was so black a
-sin to speak of my love?"
-
-He flung himself on his knees beside her chair.
-
-"Say you will be pitiful and kind, you who are all pity; and if you
-cannot give me what I ask, promise not to make me an outcast from your
-friendship."
-
-"I shall never again cease to be your friend, sir!" she answered
-gently. "I think we know each other too well to quarrel. We are neither
-of us perfect creatures; but I believe you are a good Christian, and
-that your friendship will ever be precious to me."
-
-"Make the bond something nearer than friendship, Antonia. Let it be the
-hallowed tie that makes two souls seem as one. Ah, my angelic friend,
-seldom has woman been so worshipped as you are by me. The love that
-stole upon my mind and heart unawares, in this room, when it was so
-foul a sin to love you; the love purified by years of repentance; the
-love that haunted me in the wilderness, through long days and nights
-of toil and pain, when your following ghost was nearer and more real
-to me than the foe that hemmed us round or the storm that beat upon
-our heads--that love is with me still, Antonia; time cannot change nor
-familiarity lessen it. Will you be for ever cold, for ever deaf to my
-prayer?"
-
-She had heard him to the end. Was it for the joy of hearing him, though
-she knew what her answer must be? She knew now that she loved him,
-and had always loved him, from those days of a so-called friendship.
-She knew that he took all the zest out of her life when he left her;
-and that the want of his company had been a dull pain, underlying all
-varieties of pleasure, a sense of loss coming on her on a sudden amidst
-the tempestuous gaiety of a masquerade, haunting her in some melody
-at the opera house, saddening her in the midst of a gay throng, where
-arrows of wit flashed fast to an accompaniment of joyous laughter.
-
-"Can you forget what I told you years ago?" she said. "A marriage
-is impossible for me. I am married to the dead. I gave myself to my
-husband for ever. I swore in his dying moments to belong to none but
-him."
-
-"'Twere madness to keep so wild a vow."
-
-"What! Do the Methodist Christians think it no sin to break their oath?"
-
-"They would violate no vow made in their rational moments. But your
-promise was given in the delirium of grief, and he to whom you gave it
-could not be such a self-lover as to fetter youth and beauty to his
-coffin."
-
-"'Twas he who claimed the promise, and I gave it in all seriousness. I
-loved him, sir. I would have given all the residue of my life for one
-year of happiness with him. I loved him; and our lives were severed by
-my act, severed for years, to unite in death. If there be that other
-world Mr. Wesley believes in, I may see him again, may be with him in
-eternity. That, sir, is indeed a great perhaps. I will not hazard such
-a chance of everlasting bliss."
-
-"'Tis the pagan's heaven you picture, not the Christian's--the
-resumption of human ties, not union with Christ. Oh, can you be so
-cruel as to make my life miserable, to deny the lover who adores you,
-for the sake of the dead man who lies in the quiet sleep that has no
-knowledge of you and me--must lie there unknowing, uncaring, till the
-Day of Judgment?"
-
-"If ever that day come he shall not find me forsworn; no, not even for
-you; not even to make you happy."
-
-He had watched the exalted look in her face as the firelight shone upon
-it. She had looked upward as she spoke, her eyes dilated, her lips
-tremulous with emotion, and a fever spot on her cheek. But now on a
-sudden her head drooped, and she burst into tears.
-
-"Not even for you," she sobbed.
-
-It was her confession of love. In the next moment she was in his arms,
-and their lips had met. She let him hold her there, she let her head
-lie upon his shoulder, and suffered his impassioned kisses in the
-surprise of his wild vehemence.
-
-"You love me, Antonia, you love me! No dead man shall stand between us.
-You must, you shall be mine!"
-
-She released herself from his arms, and sprang to her feet.
-
-"I am not so weak a thing as you fancy me, sir."
-
-"I will not let you go. Shall a profligate's pale spectre stand between
-me and the woman I worship? A vow made under such conditions is no vow.
-Can it better him that my life should be miserable, that lovers as true
-as you and I should pine in solitude, go down to the grave without ever
-having known happiness? It shall not be."
-
-"You are very imperious, Mr. Stobart; but I am the mistress of my own
-fate."
-
-"I am very resolute. You love me, Antonia. Your tears, your lips have
-told me that divine secret."
-
-"Be it so. I love you, sir. But I will not break my promise to one I
-loved better, my first dear love, the man who brought sunshine into my
-life, and extinguished the sun when he left me. The man who loved me
-better than he thought."
-
-"Antonia!"
-
-"Leave me, Mr. Stobart. If we are still to be friends, you had best
-leave me."
-
-"It is no longer a question of friendship. I know now that you love me,
-and I swear I will not lose you."
-
-"Leave me, sir," she exclaimed. "If you ever wish to see my face again,
-leave me this instant."
-
-"At least be merciful. Do not send me from you in despair. Antonia, be
-kind! I cannot live without you."
-
-"Go, sir; your vehemence, your boldness, leave me no power to reason or
-even to think. Go; and if after a night of thought I can bring myself
-to believe that I am not bound, body and soul, by my promise to the
-dead----"
-
-"You will be mine," he cried, with outstretched arms, trying to clasp
-her again to his heart, but she drew herself away from him indignantly.
-
-He grasped her unwilling hand, covered it with kisses and tears, and
-rushed from the room.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The watchmen were calling "Half-past eleven, and a fine night," when
-Lady Kilrush left her dressing-room, carrying a lighted candle and a
-key, and crossed the gallery to that other side of the spacious house
-where the late lord's rooms were situated. The household had retired
-soon after ten, and the great well staircase lay like a pit of darkness
-below the massive oak banisters. An oppressive silence, an oppressive
-gloom, pervaded the house, as Antonia unlocked the door that had seldom
-been opened since the coffin was carried out on the first stage of its
-long journey, on a summer night that memory recalled as if it had been
-yesterday. The atmosphere, the feelings of that night were in her mind
-as she crossed the threshold of the room which had never known the uses
-of human life since Kilrush occupied it. The wainscot mouse, the spider
-on the wall, the moth lurking in the window drapery, had been its only
-inhabitants.
-
-The tall silver candlesticks, the portfolio and standish were on the
-table in the oak-panelled ante-room where Antonia remembered the lawyer
-and the doctor talking beside the empty hearth. The vastness of the
-bed-chamber had an appalling air in the glimmer of a single candle.
-Antonia's hand trembled as she lighted those other candles, the candles
-that had burnt beside the dying man when he spoke the words that made
-her a peeress.
-
-How near that night seemed, as she stood beside the bed, funereal under
-the dark velvet hangings, a catafalque rather than a bed. She could
-hear the Bishop's full-mouthed tones, and that other voice, faltering
-and faint, but to her the world's best music.
-
-"Oh, my beloved," she cried, falling on her knees beside the pillow on
-which his head had lain. "Oh, my dearest, kindest, best, surely it is
-you I love and none other--you, only you, only you!"
-
-Her arms were folded on the coverlet, her head resting on them. She
-remained thus on her knees, for a long time, dreaming back the past.
-She lived again through those hours in Rupert Buildings, those hours
-spent in endless talk with Kilrush. They seemed to her now the most
-blissful hours of her life. She looked back and wondered at that
-happiness. Perhaps there was some touch of illusion in that dream of
-the past, something of the light that never was on sea or land; but
-to her there was no shadow of doubt that the joy of those past days
-exceeded all she had known of gladness since her husband's death.
-
-She had made her night toilet and put on a loose silken _neglige_,
-meaning to spend the long hours in this room. Her first night in a
-husband's chamber--her wedding night, she thought, with a melancholy
-smile.
-
-She had come here to solve the problem of the future, to determine
-whether she should or should not break her promise to the dead. For
-her, the free-thinker, it might seem a small thing to break a vow, when
-her keeping it would make a good man's life desolate. But despite the
-vagueness of her hope in the Hereafter, despite that early teaching
-which had bidden her believe in nothing that her human intelligence
-could not comprehend, her husband's image was a living presence in that
-room, a living influence in her life, and she could not imagine him
-lying in the dust, unconscious and indifferent. Somehow, somewhere, by
-some mysterious unthinkable means, the dead still lived, still loved
-her, still claimed her fidelity.
-
-"My first dear love," she cried, in a burst of hysterical sobs, "I am
-yours and yours only. I can never belong to another, never own any
-husband but you."
-
-Her tears, her reiterated vow soothed her. She rose from her knees,
-by-and-by, and sat on the bed, as she had sat when she held her dying
-lover in her arms. Gradually her head sank on the pillow where his head
-had lain, and she fell asleep.
-
-"Past two o'clock, and a rainy night," called the watchman in the
-square.
-
-Antonia did not wake till after five. The dead man was in her dreams
-through those three hours of deepest sleep. It was not George Stobart's
-impassioned embrace that haunted her slumber. The arms that encircled
-her, the lips that kissed her, were the arms and lips of the lover
-irrevocably lost, and there was a poignant joy in that embrace. Her
-wedding night! The words were repeated in her dreams. It was a night
-of dreams that ratified her promise to the dead. Surely he was near
-her! The voice that sounded so close to her ear, that very voice she
-knew so well, the lips whose touch thrilled her, gave her the assurance
-of immortality; and in some dim land she could not picture, under
-conditions beyond the limit of human intelligence, they two would meet
-again, husband and wife, spirit or flesh, reunited for ever.
-
- * * * * *
-
-George Stobart was at Kilrush House before nine o'clock. His patience
-could endure no longer. He had spent the night as he spent that other
-and much more miserable night after Whitefield's sermon, wandering
-about the waste places between Lambeth Palace and Vauxhall. Slumber or
-rest was out of the question.
-
-The hall porter was more awake than usual, and answered his inquiry
-briskly.
-
-"No, sir, not at home. Her ladyship has left London. She will lie at
-Devizes to-night, on her way to Ireland."
-
-"Gone! Impossible!"
-
-"It was very sudden, sir, and as much as could be done. 'Twas nearly
-six o'clock this morning when the servants had their orders. Her
-ladyship takes only Miss Potter, her French waiting woman, and one
-footman, in her travelling carriage and a post-chaise."
-
-"What time did they leave?"
-
-"They may have been gone over half an hour, sir. I heard the clock
-strike eight after the coaches left the door. I have her ladyship's
-letter for you, sir."
-
-Stobart took the letter, speechless with mortification, and left the
-house before he broke the seal. It was a miserable morning, and he
-stood in the rain, under the low grey sky, while he read her letter,
-her letter of one line--
-
-"Farewell for ever."
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XX.
-
-
-"AND CLEAVE UNTO THE BEST."
-
-
-
-
-_From the Revd. John Wesley to Mr. George Stobart._
-
- "At Mrs. Berry's Lodgings, Bristol,
-
- "May 5th, 1762.
-
- "MY DEAR FRIEND,
-
- "Your letter surprised and grieved me; for I had hoped that
- Lady Kilrush would have smiled upon your suit, and that an
- union between two natures so ardent in Christian charity
- would be not only for your happiness, but for the spiritual
- welfare of that dear lady, and for the greater glory of God.
-
- "Yet though I regret your disappointment I can but honour
- her ladyship for the reverence in which she holds her
- promise to the dead; nor can I do other than admire that
- chaste and heavenly disposition which would dedicate a
- lifetime to the memory of a husband who was hers only in one
- dying hour. Such widows are widows indeed!
-
- "You ask for my counsel at this so serious crisis of your
- life, when the nature of your future work for Christ rests
- on your choice of action; first, whether you should take
- Holy Orders, before you go to America, a voyage upon which
- you tell me your mind is irrevocably fixed; and next whether
- you should accept her ladyship's munificent gift of the
- major portion of her funded property, and her mansion in
- St. James's Square, she retaining only her Irish estate,
- and the family seat on the Shannon. This latter question I
- unhesitatingly answer in the affirmative. The fact that this
- noble lady had executed the deed of gift which transferred
- her property to you before she declared her intention, in
- the touching letter which you send me, would show that
- she had deliberately resolved upon this sacrifice, and
- was influenced by the desire of doing justice to her late
- husband's nearest kinsman. She has indeed honoured me with
- a letter to that effect, and has moreover told me that she
- intends to spend the rest of her life in Ireland, where I
- hope occasionally to visit her.
-
- "I say to you, George, accept this fortune, even though,
- in your present temper, it may seem a burden. Lady Kilrush
- will be still a rich woman; and you will have a wider scope
- for the employment of money in the service of Christ than
- any woman, not even that Mother in Israel, Lady Huntingdon,
- could find.
-
- "The more serious question of your ordination I must leave
- to your own heart and mind, and the Spirit of God directing
- you. As an itinerant lay-preacher your ministry has borne
- good fruit, and if you transfer your labours to Georgia I
- shall sorely miss your help; but as an ordained priest you
- will enter a higher sphere of usefulness, and feel yourself
- sent out upon a nobler mission: so, my dear brother in
- Christ, I bid you go on and fear not. We desire to rivet the
- chains that bind us to the Church of England, not to loosen
- them; and the idea that we are drifting apart from that
- Church--_injusta noverca_ though she has been to us--is a
- source of fear and trembling to many weak spirits, most of
- all to my dear brother Charles.
-
- "For myself I care but little whether we continue to belong
- to the Established Church or be cast out; for sure I am
- that we have kindled a flame which neither men nor devils
- will ever be able to quench. Our fundamental principles
- are the fundamental principles of the Church, and will
- suffer no change. I have no fear for the Society, which,
- from so insignificant a beginning, has attained so vast
- an influence. I remember how, less than thirty years ago,
- two young men, without friends, without either power or
- fortune, set out from college to attempt a reformation,
- not of opinions, but of men's tempers and lives, of vice
- in every kind, of everything contrary to justice, mercy,
- or truth. For this we carried our lives in our hands, and
- were looked upon and treated as mad dogs. Knowing this of
- me you cannot think that I should fear to stand alone, the
- untrammelled shepherd of my flock. Your ordination, should
- you meet with a bishop of liberal mind, like Whitefield's
- friend, that good Bishop of Gloucester, ought not to hang
- tediously on hand. But I hope I may have many occasions for
- conversing with you before you sail for America, where,
- supplied with ample fortune, and armed with the faith that
- can move mountains, you may do much to maintain those noble
- enterprises, the Schools, the Orphanages, and Asylums, which
- Mr. Whitefield initiated, and to which he ever returns with
- fresh vigour. Would that he had a more robust constitution,
- and that we might hope to see his ministry continued to a
- green old age; but I fear he cannot long stand against the
- inroads of disease, accelerated by strenuous toil, preaching
- three times a day, long journeys in all weathers, the rough
- usage of the mob, and that fiery spirit which has been
- always like the sword that wears out the scabbard.
-
- "On my return to the Foundery in the autumn I shall seek for
- you in your house at Lambeth. Till then, esteemed friend and
- fellow labourer, farewell.
-
- "JOHN WESLEY."
-
-
-
-
-_From the Revd. John Wesley to the Revd. George Stobart._
-
- "At the George Inn, Limerick, Ireland,
-
- "November 11th, 1768.
-
- "MY DEAR FRIEND,
-
- "It is with poignant grief that I take up my pen to write
- the saddest tidings it has ever been my lot to send you.
- Your last letter was full of enquiries about Lady Kilrush.
- Alas, George, that noble being, whom we have both loved and
- revered, no longer inhabits this place of sin and sorrow,
- and I dare hope that her pure and gentle spirit has taken
- flight to a better world, and now enjoys the companionship
- of saints and angels. Rarely have I met with a nature so
- free from earthly stain, nor have I often beheld a life
- so rich in good works; and although she may not even at
- the last have attained that unquestioning faith which I so
- desired to find in her, I would hazard my own hope of Heaven
- against the certainty of her everlasting bliss; for never
- did I know a better Christian.
-
- "Her death was worthy to rank in the list of martyrs. You
- may have heard that this city--the filth and squalor of
- whose poorer streets and alleys no pen can depict--was
- lately visited by an outbreak of small-pox. Lady Kilrush was
- at her mansion by the Atlantic, a delightful spot, where I
- once spent a reposeful week in her sweet company, preaching
- in the neighbouring villages, and narrowly escaping death
- at the hands of a wild mob, egged on by a bigot priest. In
- this healthful retreat she heard of the pestilence that was
- mowing down the poor of Limerick, and at once hastened to
- the dreadful scene. Secure from the disease herself, by past
- suffering, she spent her days and nights in ministering to
- the sick, aided in this pious work by a band of holy women
- of the Roman Catholic faith, and by such hired nurses as her
- purse could command.
-
- "For six weeks she laboured without respite, scarcely
- allowing herself time for food or sleep; and when my
- itinerant ministry brought me to Limerick I found her marked
- for death. She had taken cold in passing from close and
- heated rooms into the windy street, had neglected her own
- ailments in her anxiety for others, and the result was a
- violent inflammation of the lungs, attended with a raging
- fever.
-
- "Alas, dear sir, I can give you no message of affection from
- those once so lovely lips. She was delirious when I saw
- her, and though your name was mixed with her wild ravings,
- 'twas in disjointed sentences of no meaning; but on the day
- preceding her death the fever abated, and indeed it seemed
- for a short space as if my prayers had prevailed, and that
- she would be spared still to adorn a world where by her
- charities and inexhaustible beneficence she shone like a
- star. Her senses came back to her within an hour of the
- last change. She knew me, and received the Sacrament from
- my hand, and I dare hope that in those last moments perfect
- faith in her Saviour was conjoined with that perfect love
- which had long been the ruling principle of her life.
-
- "I had been kneeling by her bedside in silent prayer for
- some time, her marble hand clasped in mine, when she cried
- out suddenly, 'Husband, I have kept my vow,' and, looking
- upward with a seraphic smile, her spirit passed into
- eternity. I assisted in the funeral service, and saw her
- mortal remains laid in the family vault, where her coffin
- was placed beside that of the last Lord Kilrush.
-
- "Yours in sorrow and affection,
-
- "JOHN WESLEY."
-
-
-
-
-EPILOGUE.
-
-
-Thirty years later, on the anniversary of Antonia's death, George
-Stobart, Bishop of Northborough--the fighting bishop, as some of his
-admirers called him, a profound scholar, a fiery controversialist, a
-celibate and an ascetic, once famous as a Methodist field-preacher, and
-now the leader of the extreme High Church party--sat by the fireside in
-his library in the episcopal Palace, a lofty and spacious room, where a
-pair of wax candles on the writing-table served but to accentuate the
-darkness. He sat leaning forward in the candlelight, with one elbow on
-the arm of his chair, looking at a long dark ringlet that lay in his
-open hand, bound with a black ribbon to which was attached a label in
-Wesley's writing--
-
-"Antonia's hair, cut after death by her sorrowing friend, J. W."
-
-"Only a woman's hair," murmured the bishop. "'Tis said that Swift spoke
-those words in pure cynicism over a ringlet of his ill-used Stella.
-Only a woman's hair! And for me the memorial of a life's love, the one
-earthly relic which reminds the priest that he was once a man. Oh, thou
-who wert the idol of this heart, dost thou in some undiscovered region
-still live to pity thy desolate lover? Shall we meet and know each
-other again, where there is neither marrying nor giving in marriage? Or
-is it all a dream, nothing but a dream?"
-
-
-
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