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diff --git a/old/50088-8.txt b/old/50088-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index b63d10e..0000000 --- a/old/50088-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5084 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Marryers, by Irving Bacheller - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: The Marryers - A History Gathered from a Brief of The Honorable Socrates Potter - -Author: Irving Bacheller - -Release Date: September 30, 2015 [EBook #50088] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MARRYERS *** - - - - -Produced by David Widger from page images generously -provided by the Internet Archive - - - - - - - - - -THE MARRYERS - -A History Gathered from a Brief of The Honorable Socrates Potter - -By Irving Bacheller - -Illustrated - -Harper and Brothers Publishers New York and London - -MCMXIV - - - -OFFICE OF SOCRATES POTTER - -Pointview, Conn. - -To the Honorable Judges of Decency and Good Behavior the World Over: - -My friend, the novelist, has prevailed upon me to write this brief in -behalf of my country and against certain feudal tendencies therein. I -have tried to tell the truth, but with that moderation which becomes a -lawyer of my age 'and experience. It is bad manners to give a guest more -wine than he can carry or more truth than he can believe. In these pages -there is enough wine, I hope, for the necessary illusion, and enough -truth, I know, for the satisfaction of my conscience. I hasten, to add -that there is not enough of wine or truth to stagger those who are not -accustomed to the use of-either. I warned the novelist that nothing -could be more unfortunate for me than that I should betray a talent for -fiction. He assures me that my reputation is not in danger. - - - - -THE MARRYERS - - - - -I.--IN WHICH MR. POTTER PRESENTS THE SINGULAR DILEMMA OF WHITFIELD -NORRIS, MULTIMILLIONAIRE - - I HAVE just returned from Italy--the land of love and song. To any who -may be looking forward to a career in love or song I recommend Italy. -Its art, scenery, and wine have been a great help to the song business, -while its pictures, statues, and soft air are well calculated to keep -the sexes from drifting apart and becoming hopelessly estranged. The -sexes will have their differences, of course, as they are having them in -England. I sometimes fear that they may decide to have nothing more to -do with each other, in which case Italy, with its alert and well-trained -corps of love-makers, might save the situation. - -Since Ovid and Horace, times have changed in the old peninsula. Love has -ceased to be an art and has become an industry to which the male members -of the titolati are assiduously devoted. With hereditary talent for the -business, they have made it pay. The coy processes in the immortal -tale of Masuccio of Salerno are no longer fashionable. The Juliets have -descended from the balcony; the Romeos climb the trellis no more. All -that machinery is now too antiquated and unbusinesslike. The Juliets are -mostly English and American girls who have come down the line from Saint -Moritz. The Romeos are still Italians, but the bobsled, the toboggan, -and the tango dance have supplanted the balcony and the trellis as being -swifter, less wordy, and more direct. - -There are other forms of love which thrive in Italy--the noblest which -the human breast may know--the love of art, for instance, and the love -of America. I came back with a deeper affection for Uncle Sam than I -ever had before. - -But this is only the cold vestibule--the "piaz" of my story. Come in, -dear reader. There's a cheerful blaze and a comfortable chair in the -chimney-corner. Make yourself at home, and now my story's begun exactly -where I began to live in it--inside the big country house of a client -of mine, an hour's ride from New York. His name wasn't Whitfield Norris, -and so we will call him that. His age was about fifty-five, his name -well known. If ever a man was born for friendship he was the man--a -kindly but strong face, genial blue eyes, and the love of good -fellowship. But he had few friends and no intimates beyond his family -circle. True, he had a gruff voice and a broken nose, and was not -much of a talker. Of Norris, the financier, many knew more or less; -of Norris, the man, he and his family seemed to enjoy a monopoly of -information. It was not quite a monopoly, however, as I discovered when -I began to observe the deep undercurrents of his life. Right away he -asked me to look at them. - -Norris had written that he wished to consult me, and was forbidden by -his doctor to go far from his country house, where he was trying to -rest. Years before he had put a detail of business in my hands, and I -had had some luck with it. - -His glowing wife and daughter met me at the railroad-station with a -glowing footman and a great, glowing limousine. The wife was a restored -masterpiece of the time of Andrew Johnson--by which I mean that she -was a very handsome woman, whose age varied from thirty to fifty-five, -according to the day and the condition of your eyesight. She trained -more or less in fashionable society, and even coughed with an English -accent. The daughter was a lovely blonde, blue-eyed girl of twenty. -She was tall and substantial--built for all weather and especially -well-roofed--a real human being, with sense enough to laugh at my jokes -and other serious details in her environment. - -We arrived at the big, plain, comfortable house just in time for -luncheon. Norris met me at the door. He looked pale and careworn, but -greeted me playfully, and I remarked that he seemed to be feeling his -oats. - -"Feeling my oats! Well, I should say so," he answered. "No man's oats -ever filled him with deeper feeling." - -Like so many American business men, his brain had all feet in the -trough, so to speak, and was getting more than its share of blood, while -the other vital organs in his system were probably only half fed. - -At the table I met Richard Forbes, a handsome, husky young man who -seemed to take a special interest in Miss Gwendolyn, the daughter. There -were also the aged mother of Norris, two maiden cousins of his--jolly -women between forty-five and fifty years of age--a college president, -and Mrs. Mushtop, a proud and talkative lady who explained to me that -she was one of the Mushtops of Maryland. Of course you have met those -interesting people. Ever since 1627 the Mushtops have been coming over -from England with the first Lord Baltimore, and now they are quite -numerous. While we ate, Norris said little, but seemed to enjoy the -jests and stories better than the food. - -He had a great liking for good tobacco, and after luncheon showed me the -room where he kept his cigars. There were thousands of them made from -the best crops of Cuba, in sizes to suit the taste. - -"Here are some from the crop of '93," he said, as he opened a box. "I -have green cigars, if you prefer them, but I never smoke a cigar unless -it crackles." - -I took a crackler, and with its delicious aroma under my nose we -went for a walk in the villa gardens. Some one had released a dozen -Airedales, of whom my host was extremely fond, and they followed at his -heels. I walked with the maiden cousins, one of whom said of Norris: -"We're very fond of him. Often we sing, 'What a friend we have in -Whitfield!' and it amuses him very much." - -And it suggested to me that they had good reason to sing it. - -Norris was extremely fond of beautiful things, and his knowledge of both -art and flowers was unusual. He showed us the conservatories and his -art-gallery filled with masterpieces, but very calmly and with no -flourish. - -"I've only a few landscapes here," he said, "things that do not seem to -quarrel with the hills and valleys." - -"Or the hay and whiskers and the restful spirit beneath them," I -suggested. - -I knew that he had bought in every market of the world, and had given -some of his best treasures to sundry museums of art in America, but they -were always credited to "a friend," and never to Whitfield Norris. - -On our return to the house he asked me to ride with him, and we got into -the big car and went out for a leisurely trip on the country roads. The -farmer-folk in field and dooryard waved their hands and stirred their -whiskers as we passed. - -"They're all my friends," he said. - -"Tenants and vassals!" I remarked. - -"You see, I've helped some of them in a small way, but always -impersonally," he answered, as if he had not heard me. "I have sought to -avoid drawing their attention to me in any way whatever." - -We drew up at a little house on a lonely road to ask our way. An Irish -woman came to the car door as we stopped, and said: - -"God bless ye, sor! It does me eyes good to look an' see ye -better--thanks to the good God! I haven't forgot yer kindness." - -"But I have," said Norris. - -The woman was on her mental knees before him as she stood looking into -his face. - -No doubt he had lifted her mortgage or favored her in some like manner. -Her greeting seemed to please him, and he gave her a kindly word, and -told his driver to go on. - -We passed the Mary Perkins's school and the Mary Perkins's hospital, -both named for his wife. I had heard much of these model charities, -but not from him. So many rich men talk of their good deeds, like the -lecturer in a side-show, but he held his peace. Everywhere I could not -help seeing that he was regarded as a kind of savior, and he seemed to -regret it. Was he a great actor or--? - -"It's a pity that I cannot enjoy my life like other men," he -interrupted, as this thought came to me. "None of my neighbors are -quite themselves when they talk to me; they think I must be praised and -flattered. They don't talk to me in a reliable fashion, as you do. You -have noticed that even my own family is given to songs of praise in my -presence." - -"Norris, I'm sorry for you," I said. "They say that you inherited a fair -amount of poverty--honest, hard-earned poverty. Why didn't you take -care of it? Why did you get reckless and squander it in commercial -dissipation? You should have kept enough to give your daughter a proper -start in life. I have taken care of mine." - -"It began in the thoughtless imprudence of youth," he went on, -playfully. "I used to think that money was an asset." - -"And you have discovered that money is only a jackasset." - -"That it is, in fact, a liability, and that every man you meet is -dunning you for a part of it." - -"Including the lawyers you meet," I said. "Oh, they're the worst of -all!" he laughed. "As distributors of the world's poverty they are -unrivaled." - -He smiled and shook his head with a look of amusement and injury as he -went on. - -"Almost every one who comes near me has a hatchet if not an ax to grind. -I am sick of being a little tin god. I seem to be standing in a high -place where I can see all the selfishness of the world about me. No, it -hasn't made me a cynic. I have some sympathy for the most transparent of -them; but generally I am rather gruff and ill-natured; often I lose my -temper. I have had enough of praise and flattery to understand how weary -of it the Almighty must be. He must see how cheap it is, and if He has -humor, as of course He has, having given so much of it to His children, -how He must laugh at some of the gross adulation that is offered Him! -But let us get to business. - -"I invited you here to engage your services in a most important matter; -it's so important that for many years I have given it my own attention. -But my health is failing, and I must get rid of this problem, which is, -in a way, like the riddle of the Sphinx. Some other fellow must tackle -it, and I've chosen you for the job. Mr. Potter, you are to be, if you -will, my trustiest friend as well as my attorney. For many years I have -been the victim of blackmailers, and have paid them a lot of money." - -"Poverty is a good thing, but not if it's achieved through the aid of a -blackmailer," I remarked. "Try some other scheme." - -"But you must know the facts," he went on. "At twenty-one I went -into business with my father out in Illinois. He got into financial -difficulties and committed a crime--forged a man's name to a note, -intending to pay it when it came due. Suddenly, in a panic, he went on -the rocks, and all his plans failed. He was up against it, as we -say. There were many extenuating circumstances--a generous man, an -extravagant family, of which I had been the most extravagant member; a -mind that lost its balance under a great strain. He had risked all on -a throw of the dice and lost. I'll never forget the hour in which he -confessed the truth to me. It's hard for a father to put on the crown of -shame in the presence of a child who honors him. There's no pang in this -world like that. He had braced himself for the trial, and what a trial -it must have been! I have suffered some since that day; but all of it -put together is nothing compared to that hour of his. In ten minutes I -saw him wither into old age as he burned in the fire of his own hell. -When he was done with his story I saw that he was virtually dead, -although he could still breathe and see and speak and walk. As I -listened a sense of personal responsibility and of great calmness and -strength came on me. - -"I took my father's arm and went home with him and begged him not to -worry. Then forthwith I went to police headquarters and took the crime -on myself. My father went to paradise the next day, and I to prison. I -was young and could stand it. They gave me a light sentence, on account -of my age--only two years, reduced to a year and a half for good -behavior. My Lord! It has been hard to tell you this. I've never told -any one but you; not even my own mother knows the truth, and I wouldn't -have her know it for all the world. I cleared out and went to work in -California, in the mines. Suffered poverty and hardship; won success by -and by; prospered, and slowly my little hell cooled down. But no man can -escape from his past. By and by it overtakes him, and in time it caught -me. A record is a record, and you can't wipe it out even with righteous -living. It may be forgiven--yes, but there it is and there it will -remain. - -"I didn't marry, as you may know, until I was thirty-four. My wife -was the daughter of a small merchant in an Oregon village. I had been -married about a year when the first pirate fired across my bows--a -man who had worked beside me at Joliet. I found him in my office one -morning. He didn't know how much money I had, and struck me gently, -softly, for a thousand dollars. It was to be a loan. I gave him the -money; I had to. Why? Well, you see, my wife didn't know that I was an -ex-convict, and I couldn't bear to have her know of it. I did not fear -her so much as her friends, some of whom were jealous of our success. -Why hadn't I told her before my marriage? you are thinking. Well, partly -because I honored my father and my mother, and partly because I had no -sense of guilt in me. Secretly I was rather proud of the thing I had -done. If I had been really guilty of a crime I should have had to tell -her; but, you see, my heart was clean--just as clean as she thought it. -I hadn't fooled her about that. There had been nothing coming to me. -Oh yes, I know that I ought to have told her. I'm only giving you the -arguments with which I convinced myself--with which even now I try to -convince myself--that it wasn't necessary. Anyhow, when I married it -never entered my head that there could be a human being so low that he -would try to fan back to life the dying embers of my trouble and use it -for a source of profit. It never occurred to me that any man would come -along and say: 'Here, give me money or I'll make it burn ye.' - -"I foolishly thought that my sacrifice was my own property, and was -beginning to forget it. Well, first to last, this man got forty thousand -dollars out of me. He was dying of consumption when he made his last -call, having spent the money in fast living. He wanted five thousand -dollars, and promised never to ask me for another cent. He kept his -word, and died within three months, but not until he had sold his pull -to another scoundrel. The new pirate was an advertising agent of the Far -West. He came to me with the whole story in manuscript, ready to -print. He said that he had bought it from two men who had brought the -manuscript to his office, and had paid five thousand dollars for it. He -was such a nice man!--willing to sell at cost and a small allowance -for time expended. I gave him all he asked, and since then I have been -buying that story every six months or so. When anything happens, like -the coming out of my daughter, this sleek-looking, plausible pirate -shows up again, and, you see, I can't kick him out of my presence, as -I should like to do. He always tells me that the mysterious two are -demanding more money, so, like a bull with a ring in his nose, I have -been pulled about for years by this little knave of a man. I couldn't -help it. Now my nerves cannot endure any more of this kind of thing. My -doctor tells me that I must be free from all worry; I propose to turn it -over to you." - -"Then I shall wipe him off the slate," I said. "They'll publish the -facts." - -"Poor man!" I exclaimed. "You've got one big asset, and you're afraid -to claim it. Nothing that you have ever done compares with that term in -prison. Your charities have been large, but, after all, their value is -doubtful except to you. The old law of evolution isn't greatly in need -of your money. But when you went to prison you really did something, -old man. The light of a deed like that shines around the world. Let it -shine--if it must. Don't hide it under a bushel." - -"But not for all I am worth would I have my father's name dishonored, -with my mother still alive," he declared. "Now, as to myself, I am not -so much worried. I could bear some disgrace, for it wouldn't alter the -facts. I should keep my self-respect, anyhow. But when I think of my -wife and children I admit that I am a coward. They're pretty proud, as -you know, and the worst of it is they are proud of me. Their pride is my -best asset. I couldn't bear to see it broken down. No, what I want is to -have you manage this blackmail fund and keep all comers contented. What -money you need for that purpose will be supplied to you." - -"In my opinion you're unjust to the ladies of your home," I remarked. - -"How?" - -"You should treat them like human beings and not like angels," I said. -"It's their right to share your troubles. They'd be all the better for -it." - -"Please do as I say," he answered. "You must remember that they're all -I've got." - -"Cheer up! I 'll do my best," was my assurance. "But I shall ask you to -let me manage the matter in my own way and with no interference." - -"I commit my happiness to your keeping," he answered. - -"I wonder that you have got off so cheaply," I said. "I should think -there might have been a dozen pirates in the chase instead of two." - -"Circumstances have favored me," he explained. "I spent my youth in -Germany, where I was educated. I had been in America only six months -when my father failed. In those days I was known as Jackson W. -Norris. In California I got into a row and had my nose broken. I was a -good-looking man before that. Then, you see, it has been a rule of my -life to keep my face from being photographed. Of course, the papers have -had snap-shots of me; but no one who knew me as a boy would recognize -this bent nose and wrinkled face of mine. I have discouraged all manner -of publicity relating to me and kept my history under cover as a thing -that concerned no one but myself." - -I had requested that our ride should end at the railroad-station, and we -arrived there in good time for my train. - -"I will ask Wilton, my pirate friend, to call on you," he said. - -"Let him call Friday at twelve with a note from you," I requested. - -Gwendolyn Norris and Richard Forbes were waiting at the station, the -latter being on his way to town. - -"Going back? You ought to know better," I said. - -"So I do, but business is business," he answered. - -"And there's no better business for any one than playing with a fair -maid." - -"He knows that there's a tennis match this afternoon and a dance this -evening, and he leaves me," the girl complained. - -"I shall have to take a week off and come up here and convince you that -no man is fonder of fun and a fair maid," said Forbes. - -"I could do it in ten minutes," I declared. - -"But you have had practice and experience," said Forbes. - -"And you are more supple," was my answer. - -"I should hope so," the girl laughed. "If all men were like Mr. Potter -the world would be full of old maids. It took him thirty years to make -up his mind to get married." - -"No, it took _her_ that long--not me," I answered, and the arrival of -the train saved me from further humiliation. - -On the way to town I got acquainted with young Forbes, and liked him. He -was a big, broad-shouldered athlete, two years out of college. The -glow of health and good nature was in his face. His blue eyes twinkled -merrily as we sparred for points. He had a full line of convictions, -but he didn't pretend to have gathered all the fruit on the tree of -knowledge. He was the typical best product of the modern wholesale man -factory--strong, modest, self-restrained, well educated, and thinking -largely in terms of profit and loss. That is to say, he was sawed and -planed and matched and seasoned like ten thousand other young men of -his age. His great need had been poverty and struggle and individual -experience. If he had had to climb and reach and fall and get up and -climb again to secure the persimmon which was now in his hands, he would -have had the persimmon and a very rare thing besides, and it's the rare -thing that counts. But here I am finding fault with a thoroughly good -fellow. It's only to clear his background for the reader, to whose good -graces I heartily recommend the young man. His father had left him well -off, but he had gone to work on a great business plan, and with rare -talent for his task, as it seemed to me. - - - - -II.--MY INTERVIEW WITH THE PIRATE - - IT had been a misty morning, with slush in the streets. For hours -the great fog-siren had been bellowing to the ships on the sound and -breaking into every conversation. "Go slow and keep away!" it screeched, -in a kind of mechanical hysterics. - -I was sitting at my desk when Norris's pirate came in. I didn't like -the look of him, for I saw at once that he was hard wood, and that he -wouldn't whittle. He was a sleek, handsome, well-dressed man of -middle age, with gray eyes, iron-gray hair and mustache, the latter -close-cropped. Here, then, was Wilton--a man of catlike neatness from -top to toe. He stepped softly like a cat. Then he began smoothing his -fur--neatly folded his coat and carefully laid it over the back of a -chair; blew a speck of dust from his hat, and tenderly flicked its brim -with his handkerchief and placed it with gentle precision on the top of -the coat. It's curious how the habit of taking care gets into the -character of a gentleman thief. He almost purred when he said "Good -morning." Then he seemed to smell the dog, and stopped and took in his -surroundings. His hands were small and bony; he felt his necktie, -adjusted his cuffs with an outward thrust of both arms, and sat down. -Without a word more he handed me the note from Norris, and I read it. - -"Yes," I said; "Mr. Norris has given me a brief history of your -affectionate regard for him." - -He tried to take my measure with a keen glance. I looked serious, and he -took me seriously. - -"You see," he began, in a low voice, "for years I have been trying to -protect him from unscrupulous men." - -He gently touched the end of one forefinger with the point of the other -as he spoke. His words were neatly said, and were like his clothing, -neatly pressed and dusted, and calculated to present a respectable -appearance. - -"Tell me all about it," I said. "Norris didn't go into details." - -"Understand," he went on, gently moving his head as if to shake it down -in his linen a little more comfortably, "I have never made a cent out of -this. I have only kept enough to cover my expenses." - -It was the old story long familiar to me. The gentleman knave generally -operates on a high moral plane. Sometimes he can even fool himself about -it. He had climbed on a saint's pedestal and was looking down on me. It -shows the respect they all have for honor. - -"There are two men besides myself who know the facts, and I have -succeeded so far in keeping them quiet," he added. - -"I don't know you, but you won't be offended if I assume that you're a -man of honor," I said. - -In the half-moment of silence that followed the old fog-siren screeched -a warning. - -There was a quick, nervous movement of the visitor's body that brought -his head a little nearer to me. The fur had begun to rise on the cat's -back. - -"There's nothing to prevent it," said he, with a look of surprise. - -"Save a possible element of professional pride," was my answer. - -"That vanishes in the presence of a lawyer," said he. - -It was a kind of swift and surprising cuff with the paw, after which I -knew him better. - -"But we're licensed, you know, and now, your reputation being -established, I suggest that you are in honor bound to let us know the -names of those men." - -"Excuse me! I'm above that kind of thing--way above it," said he, with a -smile of regret for my ignorance. - -"Perhaps you wouldn't be above explaining." - -"Not at all. If I told you that, I would be as bad as they are. Why, -sir, I would be the yellowest yellow dog in the country." - -"Frankness is not apt to have an effect so serious," I said. - -Again the points of his forefingers came together as he gently answered: - -"You see, the first demand they made of me, after putting the story in -my hands, was that I should never give out their names. I had to promise -that." - -"Oh, I see. They've elected you to the office of Guardian Angel and -Secretary of the Treasury. How did it happen?" - -The query didn't annoy him. He was getting used to my sallies, and went -on: - -"It was easy and natural as drawing your breath. Those men knew that I -had met Mr. Norris--that I was a man of his class, and could talk to him -on even terms. They had got the story from a man now dead--paid him five -hundred dollars for it. They wanted my help to make a profit, see? I -had met Mr. Norris and liked him. He is one of Nature's noblemen. So I -played a friendly part in the matter, and bought the story and turned -it over to Mr. Norris for what it cost me, and he gave me two hundred -dollars for my time. Unfortunately, they have turned out to be rascals, -and we have had to keep them in spending money, and prosperity has made -them extravagant. The whole thing has become a nuisance to me, and I -wish I was out of it." - -"What do they want now?" I asked. - -"Ten thousand dollars." - -That was all he said--just those three well-filled words--with a sad but -firm look in his face and a neat little gesture of both hands. "When do -they want it?" - -"To-day; they're getting impatient." - -"Suppose you tell them that they'll have to practise economy for a week -or so at least. I don't know but we shall decide to let them go ahead -and do their worst. It isn't going to hurt Norris. He's been foolish -about it; I'm trying to stiffen his backbone." Wilton rose with a look -of impatience in his face that betrayed him. - -"Very well; but _I_ shall not be responsible for the consequences." - -The cat had hissed for the first time, but he quickly recovered himself; -the tender look returned to his eyes. - -"I think you're foolish," he began again, while his right forefinger -caressed the point of his left. "These men are not going to last long. -One of them has had delirium tremens twice, and the other is in the -hospital with Bright's disease. They're both of them broke, and you know -as well as I that they could get this money in an hour from some -newspaper. It's almost dead sure that both of these men will be out of -the way in a year or so. Norris wants to be protected, and it's up to -you and me to do it." - -"Personally I do not see the object," I insisted. "Protecting him from -one assault only exposes him to another." - -"You see, the daughter isn't married yet, and we'd better protect the -name until she's out of the way, anyhow. That girl can go to Europe and -take her pick. She's good enough for any title. But if this came out it -would hurt her chances." - -"Mr. Wilton, I congratulate you," was my remark. - -"I thought you would see the point," he answered, with a smile. - -"I am thinking not of the point, but of your philanthropy. It is -beautiful. Do you sleep well nights?" - -"Very," he answered, with a quick glance into my eyes. - -"I should think that the troubles of the world would keep you awake." - -His face flushed a little, and then he smiled. "You lawyers have no -suspicion of the amount of goodness there is in the world--you're always -looking for rascals," he said. - -"But we have wandered. Let us take the nearest road to Rome. You say -they must have money to-day." - -"Before three o'clock." - -"We'll give them ten thousand dollars--not a cent more. You must tell -them to use it gently, for it's the last they'll get from us. To whom -shall I draw the check?" - -"To me--Lysander Wilton," he answered, with a look of relief. - -I gave him the check. He put on his coat and began to purr again; he was -glad to know me, and rightly thought that he could turn some business my -way. - -As he left my office I went to one of the front windows and took out my -handkerchief. The fog-whistle blew a blast that swept sea and land with -its echoes. In a moment I saw a certain clever, keen-eyed man who was -studying current history under the direction of Prof. William J. Bums -come out of a door opposite and walk at a leisurely pace down the main -street of Pointview toward the station. He was now taking the first -steps in a systematic effort to see what was in and behind the man -Wilton. - - - - -III.--IN WHICH A MAN IS SEEN HOLDING DOWN THE BUSHEL THAT HIDES HIS -LIGHT - - THE first thing I desired was the history of Wilton. He knew more -about us than we knew about him, and that didn't seem to be fair or -even necessary. In fact, I felt sure that his little world would yield -valuable knowledge if properly explored. I knew that there were lions -and tigers in it. - -I learned that Wilton had proceeded forthwith to a certain apartment -house on the upper west side of New York, in which he remained until -dinner-time, when he came out with a well-dressed woman and drove in a -cab to Martin's. The two spent a careless night, which ended at four a.m. -in a gambling-house, where Wilton had lost nine hundred dollars. Next -day, about noon, his well-dressed woman friend came out of the house -and was trailed to a bank, where she cashed a check for five hundred -dollars. We learned there that this woman was an actress and that her -balance was about eighty-five hundred dollars. - -Three months passed, and I got no further news of the man, save that he -had gone to Chicago and that our trailers had gone with him. - -"Our Western office now has the matter in hand," so the agency wrote -me. "They are doing their work with extreme care. Fresh men took up the -trail every day, until one of our ablest became a trusted confidant of -Wilton." - -The whole matter rested in the files of my office, and I had not thought -of it until one day Norris sent for me and, on my arrival at his house, -showed me a telegram. It was from the President of the United States, -whose career he had assisted in one way and another. It offered him the -post of Minister to a European court. The place was one of the great -prizes. - -"Of course you will accept it?" I said. - -"I should like to," he answered, "but isn't it curious that fame is one -of the things which fate denies me. I wouldn't dare take it." - -I understood him and said nothing. - -"You see, I cannot be a big man. I must keep myself as _little_ as -possible." - -"The joys of littleness are very great, as the mouse remarked at the -battle of Gettysburg; but they are not for you," I said. "He that -humbleth himself shall be exalted." - -"He that humbleth himself shall avoid trouble--that's the way it hits -me," he said. "I could have been Secretary of the Treasury a few years -back if I had dared. I must let everything alone which is likely to stir -up my history. Suppose the President should suddenly discover that he -had an ex-convict in his Cabinet? Do you think he could stand that, -great as he is? He would rightly say that I had tricked and deceived -and disgraced him. What would the newspapers say, and what would -people think of me? Potter, I've made a study of this thing we call -civilization. It's a big thing--I do not underestimate it--but it isn't -big enough to forgive a man who has served his term." - -"Yes, I know; some of us are always looking for a thief inside the -honest man," was my answer. "We ought to be looking for the honest man -inside the thief, as Chesterton puts it." - -"That's a good idea!" he exclaimed. "Find me one. I'd like to use him to -teach this world a lesson. I'd pay you a handsome salary as Diogenes. If -you succeed once I'll astonish you with generosity." - -"I should like to help you to get rid of some of this money of yours," I -said. - -"You can begin this morning," he went on. "I'm going to give you some -notes for a new will. Suppose you sit down at the table there." - -I spent the rest of that day taking notes, and was astonished at the -amount of his property and the breadth of his spirit. He had got his -start in the mining business, and with surprising insight had -invested his earnings in real estate, oil-lands, railroad stocks, and -steel-mills. - -"I have always believed in America, and America has made me rich," he -said to me. - -"Before the Spanish War and in every panic, when no man seemed to want -her securities, I have bought them freely, and I own them today. With -our growing trade and fruitful lands I wonder that all thinking men did -not share my confidence. If America had gone to smash I should have gone -with her. I shall stick to the old ship." - -One paragraph of the will has begun to make history. It has appeared -in the newspapers, but no account of my friend should omit it, and -therefore I present its wording here: - -"There are many points of greatness in the Christian faith, but the -greatest of all is charity. I conceive that the best argument for the -heathen is that of wheat and com. I therefore direct that the sum of -five million dollars be set aside and invested by the trustees of this -will and that its proceeds be applied to the relief of the distressing -poverty of unconverted peoples, wherever they may be, in the discretion -of said trustees; and when said relief is applied it shall be done as -the act of 'A Christian friend in America.' It is my wish that wherever -practicable in the judgment of said trustees this relief shall be -applied through the establishment of industries in which the needy shall -be employed at fair wages." - -I had finished my notes for the will, and my friend and I were sitting -comfortably by the open fire, when his wife entered the room and sat -down with us. - -"Have you told Mr. Potter about the bank offer?" she inquired of her -husband. - -"No, my dear," he answered. - -"May I tell him?" - -"Certainly." - -"Mr. Potter, the presidency of a great bank has been offered to my -husband, and I think that he ought to take it." - -"Oh, I have work enough here at home--all I can do," he said. - -"But you will not have much to do there--only a little consulting once a -week or so, and they say that you can talk to them here if you wish." - -"It's too much responsibility," he answered. - -"But it's so respectable," she urged. "My heart is set on it. They tell -me that, next to Mr. Morgan, you would be the greatest power in American -finance. We should all be so proud of you." - -"I couldn't wish you to be any more proud of me," he answered, tenderly. - -"But, naturally, we want you to be as great as you can, Whitfield," she -went on. "This would mean so much to me and to Gwendolyn." - -He rose wearily, with a glance into my eyes which I perfectly -understood, and went to his wife and kissed her and said: - -"My dear, I am sure that Mr. Potter will agree with me." - -"Unreservedly," was my answer. - -I knew then that this ambitious woman was as ignorant as the cattle in -their farmyard of the greater honors which he had declined. - -She rose and left the room with a look of disappointment. How far the -urgency of his wife and other misguided friends may have gone I know -not, but I have reason to believe that it put him to his wit's ends. - -I am sure that it was the most singular situation in which a lawyer was -ever consulted. My client's high character had commanded the love and -confidence of all who knew him well, and this love and confidence were -pushing him into danger. His own character was the wood of the cross on -which he was being crucified. - -That week I appeared for Norris in a case of some importance in New -York. One day in court a letter was put in my hands from the editor of -a great newspaper. It requested that I should call upon him that day or -appoint an hour when he could see me at my hotel. I went to his office. - -"Is it true that Norris is to be our new minister to--?" he asked. - -"It is not true," I said. - -"Is it true that he served a term in an Illinois prison?" - -"Why do you ask?" - -"For the reason that a story to that effect is now in this office." - -It was a critical moment, and I did not know how to behave myself. - -"I mean that a man has submitted the story--he wishes to sell it," he -added. - -"Forgive me if I speak a piece to you," I said. "It will be short and to -the point." - -As nearly as I could remember them I repeated the noble lines of -Whitman: - - "And still goes one, saying, - - 'What will ye give me and I will deliver this man unto - - you?' - - And they make the covenant and pay the pieces of silver, - - The old, old fee... paid for the Son of Mary. - -"If there's any descendant of Judas Iscariot on this paper I shall see -to it that his name and relationship are made known," I added. - -"We have not bought the article, and it is not likely that we shall," -said he. "If you wish to answer my question I shall make no use of your -words." - -There are times when one has to act and act promptly on his own -judgment, and when the fate of a friend is in the balance it is a hard -thing to do. So I quickly chose my landing and jumped. - -"I have only this to say," I answered. "Mr. Norris served a term in -prison when he was a boy, but the facts are of such a nature that it -wouldn't be safe for you to publish any part of them." - -I saw a query in his eye as he looked at me, and I went on: - -"They are loaded--that's the reason--loaded to the muzzle, and they'd -come pretty near blowing up your establishment. You know my reputation -possibly." - -"Oh, very well." - -"Then you know that I am not in the habit of going off at half-cock. -I tell you the facts would put you squarely on the Judas roll, and it -isn't a popular part to play. Briefly, the facts are: Norris suffered -for a friend, and that puts him on a plane so high that it isn't safe to -touch him." - -"On your word, Mr. Potter, I will do what I can to kill the story--now -and hereafter," said he. "The young man who wrote it is a decent fellow -and will soon be in my employ. But of course Norris will decline to be -put in high places." - -Even this enlightened editor saw that a man who had suffered prison -blight was a kind of frost-bitten plum. I left him with a feeling of -discouragement in the world and its progress. - -Before a week had passed I was summoned to the home of Norris and found -him ill in bed. He was in the midst of a nervous breakdown which had -seemed to begin with a critical attack of indigestion. It wearied him -even to sign and execute his will, and I saw him for only a few minutes, -and not again for months. - -He improved rapidly, and one day Gwendolyn Norris called at my office. - -The family were sailing for Hamburg within a week to spend the rest of -the winter at Carlsbad and Saint Moritz. She said: - -"Father wishes me to begin my business career, and so I've been looking -after the details, and you must tell me if there's anything that I have -forgotten." - -I went over all the arrangements regarding cats and dogs and horses and -tickets and hotel accommodations, and then asked, playfully: - -"What provision have you made for the young men you are leaving?" - -"There's only, one," said she, with laughing eyes, "and he can take care -of himself. He doesn't seem to need any of my help. But he's fine. I -recommend him to you as a friend." - -"Yes, I understand. You want me to get his confidence and see that he -goes to bed early and doesn't forget his friends." - -She blushed and laughed, and added: - -"Or get into bad company!" - -"You're a regular ward politician!" I said. "Don't worry. I'll keep my -eye on him." - -"You don't even know his name," she declared. - -"Don't I? The name Richard is written all over your face." - -"How uncanny!" she exclaimed. "I'm going to leave you." Then she added, -with a playful look in her eyes, "You know it's a dangerous place for -American girls who--who are unattached." - -"We don't want to frighten him." - -"It wouldn't be possible--he's awfully brave," said she, with a merry -laugh as she left me. - -That was the last I saw of them before they sailed. - -My friend had taken his doctor with him, and soon the latter wrote me -from the mountain resort that Norris had improved, but that I must not -appeal to him in any matter of business. All excitement would be bad for -him, and if it came suddenly might lead to fatal results. - - - - -IV.--A RATHER SWIFT ADVENTURE WITH THE PIRATE - - MIDWINTER had arrived when the checked current of our little history -became active again. My wife had thought that our life in Pointview -was a trifle sluggish, and we had been in town for two weeks. I had -recommended the Waldorf-Castoria as being good for sluggish livers, but -Betsey preferred the Manhattan. We were there when this telegram reached -me from Chicago. - -_W. left for N. Y. this morning, broke. He will call on you. Important -news by mail._ - -I expected to have some fun with him, and did. - -The same mail brought the "important news" and a note from Wilton, which -said: - -_I must see you within twenty-four hours. The need is pressing. Please -wire appointment._ - -Many salient points in the career of Wilton lay before me. It's singular -how much it may cost to learn the history of one little man. For half -the sum that I was to pay for Wilton's record a commonplace intellect -should have been able to acquire every important fact in the history of -the world. Wilton, whose real name was Muggs, was wanted in Mexico for -grand larceny, and very grand larceny at that, for he had absconded -twelve years before with twenty thousand dollars belonging to the -business in which he had been engaged. They had got their clue from a -letter which he had carelessly left in his coat-pocket when he entered a -Turkish bath, but of that part of the matter I need say no more. It -was quite likely that he was wanted in other places, but this was want -enough for my purpose. - -It was Saturday, and Betsey had gone to Pointview; I was to follow her -that evening for the week-end. No fog that day. The sun was shining in -clear air. - -When Wilton came my program had been arranged. It began as soon as he -entered my room. The cat was purring when suddenly the dog jumped at -her. It was the dog in my voice as I said: - -"Good morning, you busted philanthropist! Why didn't you tell me at -once that your name was Muggs. You might have saved me the expense of -employing a dozen detectives to learn what you could have told me in -five minutes. As a saint you're a failure. Why didn't you tell me that -they wanted you down in Mexico?" - -The cat was gone--jumped out of the open window, perhaps. I never saw -her again. Muggs stood unmasked before me. He was a man now. His face -changed color. His right hand went up to his brow, and then, as if -wondering what it was there for, began deftly smoothing his hair, while -his lower lip came up to the tips of his cropped mustache. His eyelids -quivered slightly. The fingers in that telltale hand began to tremble -like a flag of distress. - -In a second, before he had time to recover, I swung again, and very -vigorously. - -"If you're going to save yourself you haven't a minute to lose. The -detectives want that reward, and they're after you. They telephoned -me not ten minutes ago. I'll do what I can for you, but I make one -condition." - -"Excuse me," he said, as he pulled himself together. "I didn't know that -you had such a taste for history." - -"I love to study the history of philanthropists," I said. "Yours -thrilled me. I couldn't stop till I got to this minute. You're just -beginning a new chapter, and I want you to give it a heading right now. -Shall it be 'Prison Life' or 'In the Way of Reform'?" - -Again the man spoke. - -"As God's my witness, I want to live honest," said he. - -"Then I'll try to help you." - -I have always thought with admiration of his calmness as he looked down -at me with a face that said, "I surrender," and a tongue that said: - -"May I use your bath-room for one minute?" - -"Certainly," was my answer. - -He entered the bath-room and closed its door behind him. - -I had begun to fear that he might have rashly decided to jump into -eternity from my bath-room when he reappeared with no mustache and a -gray beard on his chin. Then, as if by chance, he took my hat and -gray summer top-coat from the peg, where they had been hanging, said -"Good-by," and walked hurriedly out of my door and down the corridor. - -I had hesitated a little between my duty to Mexico and my duty to -Norris, but I felt, and rightly, as I believe, that my client should -come first, for I am rather human. But how about the reward? I thought. -Well, that was none of my funeral. Shorn of his pull, he was now in the -thorny path of the fugitive, and so I let him go. - -I tried to work, but work was out of the question for me that morning. -I went for a walk, and on my return sat down with my paper. Among the -items in its cable news was the following: - -_Whitfield Norris and his family are at the Grand Hotel in Rome. His -daughter, Miss Gwendolyn, whose beauty and wealth, as well as her -amiable disposition, have attracted many suitors, is said to be engaged -to the young Count Carola._ - -What I said to myself is not one of the things which should appear in a -book, and I wish only to suggest enough of it here to put me on record. - -Soon after one o'clock I was called to the 'phone by my secretary, who -had followed Muggs when he left my room. At the time I gave my man his -orders I did not know, of course, how my interview would turn out, and -so, with a lawyer's prudence, I had decided to keep track of Muggs. When -he settled down or left the city my young man was to report, and so: - -"Hello," came his voice on the telephone. - -"Hello! What news?" I asked. - -"Our friend has just sailed on the _Caronia_ for England." - -"All right," I said, and then: "Hold on! Find out if there is a fast -ship sailing to-night, and if so engage good quarters for two." - -I sat down to get my breath. - -"How deft and wonderful!" I whispered. "It takes a good lawyer to keep -up with him." - -The man was on his way to Italy for another whack at Norris, and I had -been thinking that he was broke. He would resume his philanthropic rôle -in Italy and probably scare Norris to death. He had, of course, read -that fool item in some paper. There was but one thing for me to do: I -must get there first and meet him in the corridor of the Grand Hotel -upon his arrival. Fortunately, my business was pretty well cleaned up in -preparation for a long rest of which we had been talking. - -I telephoned to Betsey that we should probably go abroad that night and -that she must get her trunks packed and on the way to the city as soon -as possible. - -"But my summer clothes are not ready!" she exclaimed. - -"Never mind clothes," I answered. "Breech-cloths will do until we can -get to Europe, and there's any amount of clothing for sale on the other -side of the pond. Chuck some things into a couple of trunks and stamp -'em down and come on. We'll meet here at six." - -Then I thought of my talk with Gwendolyn, and telephoned to young Forbes -and told him that I was going to Italy, and asked: - -"Any message to send?" - -"Sure," said he. "I'll come down to see you." - -"We dine at seven," I said. - -"Put on a plate for me," he requested. - -I had scarcely hung up the receiver when the bell rang and my secretary -notified me that he had engaged a good room on the _Toltec_, and would -be at my hotel in twenty minutes. - -I went down to the office and wrote a cablegram to Norris, in which I -said that we were going over to see the country and would call on him -within ten days. - -To pay the charges I took out my pocket-book. There was no money in it. -What had happened to me? There had been two one-hundred-dollar bills in -the book when I had paid for last evening's dinner; now it held nothing -but a slip of paper neatly folded. I opened it and read these words -written with a pencil: - -_Thanks. This is the last call. M._ - -Then I remembered that yesterday's trousers had been hanging in the -bath-room with my money in the right-hand pocket when Muggs was there. I -had got the book and taken it with me when I went for a walk. - -"He may be a busted philanthropist, but he's not a busted thief," I -mused. - - - - -V.--IN WHICH WE HAVE AN AMUSING VOYAGE - - BETSEY had been a bit disturbed by the swiftness of my plans. On her -arrival in town she said to me: - -"Look here, Socrates Potter, I'm no longer a colt, and you'll have to -drive slower. What are you up to, anyway?" - -"A surprise-party!" I answered. "Cheer up! It's our honeymoon trip. I've -decided that after a man has married a woman it's his duty to get well -acquainted with her. What's the use of having a breastful of love and -affection and no time to show it. To begin with we shall have the best -dinner this hotel affords." - -Our table, which had been well adorned with flowers, awaited us, and we -sat down to dinner. Richard Forbes came while we were eating our oysters -and joined us. - -We talked of many things, and while we were eating our dessert I sailed -into the subject nearest my heart by saying: - -"I kind o' guessed that you'd want to send a message." - -"How did you know it?" he asked. - -"Oh, by sundry looks and glances of your eye when I saw you last." - -"They didn't deceive you," said he. "Tell them that they may see me in -Rome before long. Miss Norris was kind enough to say in a letter that -they would be glad to see me. I haven't answered yet. You might gently -break the news of my plan and let me know how they stand it." - -"I'll give them your affectionate regard--that's as far as I am willing -to go--and I'll tell them to prepare for your presence. If they show -evidence of alarm I'll let you know. I kind o' mistrust that you may be -needed there and--and wanted." - -"No joking now!" he warned me. - -"Those titled chaps are likely to get after her, and I may want you -to help me head 'em off. You'd be a silly feller to let them grab the -prize." - -"The trouble is my fortune isn't made," said he. "I'm getting along, but -I can't afford to get married yet." - -"Don't worry about that," I begged him. "Our young men all seem to be -thinking about money and nothing else. Quit it. Keep out of this great -American thought-trust. Any girl that isn't willing to take hold and -help you make your fortune isn't worth having. Don't let the vine of -your thoughts go twining around the money-pole. If you do they'll make -you a prisoner." - -"But she is used to every luxury." - -"And probably will be glad to try something new. Her mama is not looking -for riches, but noble blood, I suppose. Norris's girl looks good to -me--nice way of going, as they used to say of the colts. We ought to be -able to offer her as high an order of nobility as there is in Europe." - -"I'm very common clay," the boy answered, with a laugh. - -"And the molding is up to you," I said, as we rose to go. - -"Tell them that Gwendolyn's heart is American territory and that I shall -stand for no violation of the Monroe Doctrine," said he. - -We bade him good-by and went aboard the steamer in as happy a mood as -if we had spent six months instead of six hours getting ready. So our -voyage began. - -Going over we felt the strong tides of the spirit which carry so many of -our countrymen to the Old World. The _Toltec_ was crowded with tourists -of the All-Europe-in-three-weeks variety. There were others, but these -were a small minority. Every passenger seemed to be loaded, beyond the -Plimsoll mark, with conversation, and in the ship's talk were all the -spiritual symptoms of America. - -We chose partners and went into the business of visiting. The sea shook -her big, round sides, immensely tickled, I should say, by the gossip. -Our ship was a moving rialto. We swapped stories and exchanged -sentiments; we traded hopes and secrets; we cranked up and opened the -gas-valve and raced into autobiography. Each got a memorable bargain. We -were almost dishonest with our generosity. - -"Ship ahoy!" we shouted to every man who came our way and noted his -tonnage and cargo, his home port and destination. - -How American! God bless us all! - -Within forty-eight hours it seemed to me that everybody knew everybody -else, except Lord and Lady Dorris, who were aboard, and the adoring -group that surrounded them. - -The big, wide-world thought-trust was well represented in the -smoking-room. There were business men and boys just out of college, all -expressing themselves in terms of profit and loss--the wealth of this or -that man and how he got it, the effect of legislation upon business, and -all that kind of thing. Thirty-five years ago such a company would have -been talking of the last speeches of Conkling and Ingersoll or the last -poems of Whittier and Tennyson. - -There were many keynotes in the conversation. If one sat down with a -book in the reading-room he would abandon it for the better display of -human nature in the crowd around him. There were some twoscore women all -talking at the same time, each drenching the other in the steady flow -of her conversational hose. The plan of it all seemed to be very -generous--everybody giving and nobody receiving anything. I used to -think that among women talk was for display or relief, and whispering -for the transfer of intelligence. Since I got married I know better: -women have a sixth sense by which they can acquire knowledge without -listening in a talk-fest. They miss nothing. - -It was interesting to observe how the edges of the conversations -impinged upon one another, like the circles made by a handful of pebbles -flung from a bridge into water. Now and then some strong-voiced lady -dropped a rock into the pool, and the spatter went to both shores. The -spray advertised the thought-trusts of the women: - -"I felt so sorry for poor Mabel! There wasn't a young man in the party." - -"It was a capital operation, but I pulled through." - -"Yes, I've wanted to go to Italy ever since I saw 'Romeo and Juliet.' -Those Italians are wonderful lovers." - -"It was so ridiculous to be throwing her at his head, and she with a -weak heart and only one lung!" - -"I don't know how I spend it, but somehow it goes." - -"Oh, they have been abroad, but anybody can do that these days." - -"Poor man! I feel sorry for him--she's terribly extravagant." - -"We don't see much of our home these days." - -"My twentieth trip across the ocean." - -"Our children are in boarding-schools, and my husband is living at his -club." - -I wanted to smoke and excused myself from Betsey and went out on the -deck, now more than half deserted, and stood looking off at the night. -Family history was pouring out of the state-room windows, and I could -not help hearing it. Grandma, slightly deaf, was saying to her daughter: - -"Lizzie must be more careful when those young men come to the door. This -morning she wasn't half dressed when she opened it." - -"Oh yes, she was." - -"No, she wasn't; I took particular notice. And every morning she wets -her hair in my perfumery. Then, sadly, It's almost gone." - -I knew enough about the sins of Lizzie, and moved on and took a new -stand. - -An elderly lumber merchant from Michigan was saying to his companion in -a loud voice: - -"Yes, I retired ten years ago. I am studying the history of the -world--all about the life of the world, especially the life of the -ancients." - -I moved on to escape a comparison of the careers of Alexander and -Napoleon, and settled down in a dusky corner near which a lady was -giving an account of the surgical operations which had been performed -upon her. So the conversation, which had begun at daybreak, went on into -the night. It was all very human--very American. - -The Litchmans of Chicago had rooms opposite ours. Every night six -or eight pairs of shoes, each decorated with a colored ribbon to -distinguish it from the common run of shoes, were ranged in a row -outside their door. The lady had forty-two hats--so I was told--and all -of them were neatly aired in the course of the voyage. The upper end of -her system was not a head, but a hat-holder. - -Their family of four children was established in a room next to ours. -As a whole, it was the most harmonious and efficient yelling-machine -of which I have any knowledge. Its four cylinders worked like one. At -dinner it filled its tanks with cheese and cakes and nuts and jellies -and milk, and was thus put into running order for the night. It is -wonderful how many yells there are in a relay of cheese and cake and -nuts and jelly and milk. When we got in bed the machine cranked up, -backed out of the garage, and went shrieking up the hill to midnight -and down the slope to breakfast-time, stopping briefly now and then for -repairs. - -A deaf lady next morning declared that she had heard the fog-whistles -blowing all night. - -"Fog-whistles! We didn't need 'em," said Betsey. - -It was a symptom of America with which I had been unfamiliar. - -We were astonished at the number of manless women aboard that ship. Many -were much-traveled widows whose husbands had fallen in the hard battles -of American life; some, I doubt not, like the battle of Norris, with -hidden worries that feed, like rats, on the strength of a man. - -Many of the women were handsome daughters and sleek, well-fed mamas -whose husbands could not leave the struggle--often the desperate -struggle--for fame and fortune. - -There were elderly women--well upholstered grandmamas--generally -traveling in pairs. - -One of them, a slim, garrulous, and affectionate lady well past her -prime, was immensely proud of her feet. She was Mrs. Fraley, from Terre -Haute--"a daughter of dear old Missouri," she explained. It seemed that -her feet had retained their pristine beauty through all vicissitudes, -and been complimented by sundry distinguished observers. One evening she -said to Betsey: - -"Come down to my state-room, dearest dear, and I will show you my feet." - -She always seemed to be seeking astonishment, and was often exclaiming -"Indeed!" or "How wonderful!" and I hadn't told any lies either. - -We met also Mrs. Mullet, of Sioux City, a gay and copious widow of -middle age, who appeared in the ship's concert with dark eyes well -underscored to give them proper emphasis. She was a well-favored, -sentimental lady with thick, wavy, brown hair. Her thoughts were also -a bit wavy, but Betsey formed a high opinion of her. Mrs. Mullet was a -neat dresser and resembled a fashion-plate. Her talk was well dressed in -English accents. She often looked thoughtfully at my chin when we talked -together, as if she were estimating its value as a site for a stand of -whiskers. It was her apparent knowledge of art which interested Betsey. -She talked art beautiful, as Sam Henshaw used to say, and was going to -Italy to study it. - -There were schoolma'ams going over to improve their minds, and romping, -sweetfaced girls setting out to be instructed in art or music, beyond -moral boundaries, and knowing not that they would take less harm among -the lions and hyenas of eastern Africa. When will our women learn that -the centers of art and music in Europe are generally the exact centers -of moral leprosy? - -There were stately, dignified, and inhuman people of the seaboard -aristocracy of the East--the Europeans of America, who see only the -crudeness of their own land. They have been dehorned--muleyed into -freaks by degenerate habits of mind and body. A certain passenger called -them the "Eunuchs of democracy," but I wouldn't be so intemperate with -the truth. One of them was the Lady Dorris, daughter of a New York -millionaire, who came out of her own apartments one evening to peer -laughingly into the dining-saloon, and say: - -"I love to look at them; they're so very, very curious!" - -Yes, we have a few Europeans in America, but I suspect that Europe is -more than half American. - -Then there was Mr. Pike, the lumber king, from Prairie du Chien, who -stroked his whiskers when he talked to me and looked me over from -head to toe as if calculating the amount of good timber in me. He had -retired, jumped from the lumber business into ancient history, and was -now reporting the latest news from Tyre and Babylon. - -In this environment of character we proceeded with nothing to do but -observe it, and with no suspicion that we were being introduced to the -persons of a drama in which we were to play our parts in Italy. - -So now, then, the orchestra has ceased playing and the curtain is up -again, and, with all these people on the stage, in the middle of the -ocean word goes around the decks that there is a ship off the port side -very near us. We look and observe that we are passing her. It is the -_Caronia_, and we ride the seas with a better sense of comfort, knowing -that Wilton is behind us. - -[Illustration: 0077] - - - - -VI.--WE ARRIVE IN THE LAND OF LOVE AND SONG - - HERE we are in Rome on the tenth day of our journey at three in the -afternoon! Jiminy Christmas! How I felt the need of language! I -had given my leisure on the train to the careful study of a -conversation-book, but the conversation I acquired was not extensive -enough to satisfy every need of a man born in northern New England. It -was too polite. There were a number of men who quarreled over us and our -baggage in the station at Rome, and I had to do all my swearing with -the aid of a dictionary. I found it too slow to be of any use. We were -rescued soon by Mrs. Norris and her footman, who took us to the Grand -Hotel. Gwendolyn met us in the hall of their apartment, and I delivered -Forbes's message. - -"You may kiss me!" she exclaimed, joyously. - -"I do it for him," I said. - -"Then do it again," said she. - -That's the kind of a girl she was--up and a-coming!--and that's the kind -of a man I am--obliging to the point of generosity at the proper moment. - -The reputation of the Norrises gave us standing, and we were soon -marching in step and sowing our francs in a rattling shower with the -great caravan of American blood-hunters. - -Norris himself was in better health than I had hoped to find him, and -three days later he drove me to Tivoli in his motor-car. - -As we were leaving the hotel the porter said to Norris: - -"An American gentleman called to see you about an hour ago. He was very -urgent, and I told him that I thought you had gone to Tivoli." - -"Not gone, but going," said Norris. "There's a grain of truth in what -you said, but I suppose you meant well." - -He handed the porter a coin and added: - -"You must never be able to guess where I am." - -In the course of our long ride across the Campagna I made my report and -he made his. I told the whole story of Muggs and how at length the man -had given me a good, full excuse for my play-spell. - -"I suppose that he will be after us again here," said Norris. - -"Don't worry," I answered; "you'll find me a capable watch-dog. It will -only be necessary for me to bark at him once or twice." - -"You're an angel of mercy," said my friend. "I couldn't bear the sight -of him now. It isn't the money involved; it's his devilish smoothness -and the twitch of the bull-ring and the peril I am in of losing my -temper and of doing something to--to be regretted." - -"Let me be secretary of your interior also," I proposed, and added: "I -can get mad enough for both of us, and I have a growing stock of cuss -words." - -My assurance seemed to set Norris at rest, and I called for his report. - -"Mine is a longer story," he began. "First we went to Saint -Moritz--beautiful place, six thousand feet up in the mountains--and it -agreed with me. We found two kinds of Americans there--the idle rich who -came to play with the titled poor and the homeless. Everywhere in Europe -one finds homeless people from our country--a wandering, pathetic -tribe of well-to-do gipsies. Among the idle rich are maidens with great -prospects and planning mamas, and rich widows looking for live noblemen -with the money of dead grocers, rum merchants, and contractors. They're -all searching for 'blood,' as they call it. - -"'I can't marry an American,' one of them said to me; 'I want a man of -blood. These men are of ancient families that have made history, and -they know how to make love, too.' - -"Impoverished dukes, marquises, princes, barons, counts, from the -purlieus of aristocratic Europe, throng about them. These noblemen are -professional marryers, and all for sale. The bob-sled and the toboggan -are implements of their craft, symbols of the rapid pace. Unfortunately, -they are often the meeting-place of youthful innocence and utter -depravity, of glowing health and incurable disease. Maidens and -marquises, barons and widows, counts and young married women, traveling -alone, sit dovetailed on bob-sleds and toboggans, and, locked in a -complex embrace, this tangle of youth and beauty, this interwoven mass -of good and evil, rushes down the slippery way. In the swift, curving -flight, by sheer hugging, they overcome the tug of centrifugal force. It -is a long hug and a strong hug. Thus, courtship is largely a matter of -sliding. - -"Then there are the dances. I do not need to describe them. At Saint -Moritz they go to the limit. Fifteen years ago when Chuck Connors and -his friends practised these dances in a Bowery dive respectable citizens -turned away with disgust. Since then the idle rich who explore the -underworld have begun to imitate its dances, which were intended to -suggest the morals of the dog-kennel and the farmyard and which have -achieved some success in that direction. Unfortunately, the idle rich -are well advertised. If they were to wear rings in their noses the -practice would soon become fashionable. - -"Well, you see, it was no place for my girl. I sent her away with Mrs. -Mushtop to Rome, but not until a young Italian count had got himself in -love with my money." - -"Count Carola?" I asked. - -"Count Carola!" said he. "How did you know?" - -"Saw it in the paper." - -"The paper!" he exclaimed. "God save us from the papers as well as from -war, pestilence, and sudden death." - -"Is the count really shot in the heart?" I ventured to ask. - -"Oh, he likes her as any man likes a pretty, bright-eyed girl," Norris -went on, "but it was a part of my money that he wanted most. I had kept -her out of that crowd, and the young man hadn't met her. He had only -stood about and stared at us, and had finally asked for an introduction -to me, which I refused, greatly to my wife's annoyance. The young man -followed them to Rome, but I didn't know that he had done so until I -got there. They went around seeing things, and everywhere they went -the count was sure to go. Followed them like a dog, day in and day out. -Isn't that making it a business? His eyes were on them in every room of -every art-gallery. One day, when they stood with some friends near the -music-stand in the Pincio Gardens, the count approached Mrs. Mushtop. -You know Mrs. Mushtop; she is a good woman, but a European at heart and -a worshiper of titles. I didn't suppose that she was such a romantic old -saphead of a woman. This is what happened: the count took off his hat -and greeted her with great politeness. She was a little flattered. My -daughter turned away. - -"'I suspect, myself, that you are the young lady's chaperon,' said he. - -"'Yes, sir.' - -"'I am in love with the beautiful, charming young lady. It is so joyful -for me to look at her. I am most unhappy unless I am near her. I have -the honor to hand you my card; I wish you to make the inquiry about -my family and my character. Then I hope that you will permission me to -speak to her.' - -"Think of Mrs. Mushtop standing there and letting him go on to that -extent. - -"She said, 'It would do no good, for I believe that she is engaged.' - -"'That will make not any difference,' he insisted, with true Italian -simplicity; I will take my chances.' - -"She foolishly kept his card, but had the good sense to turn away and -leave him. - -"Mrs. Norris went on to Rome for a few days while I stayed at Saint -Moritz with my physician, mother, and secretary. You know women better -than I do, probably. Most of them like that Romeo business; that -swearing by the sun, moon, and stars--those cosmic, cross-universe -measurements of love. I don't know as I blame them, for, after all, a -woman's happiness is so dependent on the love of a husband. - -"Well, those women got their heads together, and my wife thought that, -on the whole, she liked the looks of the count. He was rather slim and -dusky, but he had big, dark eyes and red cheeks and perfect teeth and -a fine bearing. So they drove to Florence, where he lived, and -investigated his pedigree and character. It was a very old family, which -had played an important part in the campaigns of Mazzini and Cavour, -but its estate had been confiscated after the first failure of the -great Lombard chief, and its fortunes were now at a low ebb. One of the -count's brothers is the head waiter in a hotel at Naples. He had sense -enough to go to work, but the count is a confirmed gentleman who rests -on hopes and visions. He reminds me of a house standing in the air with -no visible means of support. - -"However, the investigation was satisfactory to my wife, and she invited -the young man to dinner at her hotel. The ladies were all captivated -by his charm, and there's no denying that the young fellow has pretty -manners. It's great to see him garnish a cup of tea or a plate of -spaghetti with conversation. His talk is pastry and bonbons. - -"When I came on I found them going about with him and having a fine -time. Under his leadership my wife had visited sundry furniture and -antique shops and invested some five thousand dollars, on which, I -presume, the count received commissions sufficient to keep him in -spending-money for a while. I didn't like the count, and told them so. -He's too effeminate for me--hasn't the frank, upstanding, full-breasted, -rugged, ready-for-anything look of our American boys. But I didn't -interfere; I kept my hands off, for long ago I promised to let my wife -have her way about the girl. That reminds me we have invited young -Forbes to come over and spend a month with us." - -"Likely young fellow," I said. - -"None better," said he; "if he had sense enough to ask Gwen to marry -him I'd be glad of it. I have refused to encourage the affair with the -count, but we find it hard to saw him off. We drove to Florence the -other day, and he followed us there and back again. He's a comer, I can -tell you; we can see him coming wherever we are. I swear a little about -it now and then, and Gwen says, 'Well, father, you don't own the road.' -And Mrs. Norris will say: 'Poor fellow! Isn't it pitiful? I'm so sorry -for him!' - -"His devotion to business is simply amazing--works early and late, and -don't mind going hungry. In all my life I never saw anything like it." - -We had arrived at Tivoli, and as he ceased speaking we drew up at -Hadrian's Villa and entered the ruins with a crowd of American tourists. -An energetic lady dogged the steps of the swift-moving guide with a -volley of questions which began with, "Was it before or after Christ?" -By and by she said: "I wouldn't like to have been Mrs. Hadrian. Think of -covering all these floors with carpets and keeping them clean!" - -I left Norris sitting on a broken column and went on with the crowd for -a few minutes. I kept close to the energetic lady, being interested in -her talk. Suddenly she began to hop up and down on one leg and gasp for -breath. I never saw a lady hopping on one leg before, and it alarmed me. -The battalion of sightseers moved on; they seemed to be unaware of her -distress--or was it simply a lack of time? I stopped to see what I could -do for her. - -"Oh, my lord! My heavens!" she shouted, as she looked at me, with both -hands on her lifted thigh. "I've got a cramp in my leg! I've got a cramp -in my leg!" - -I supported the lady and spoke a comforting word or two. She closed her -eyes and rested her head on my arm, and presently put down her leg and -looked brighter. - -"There, it's all right now," said she, with a shake of her skirt. -"Thanks! Do you come from Michigan?" - -"No." - -"Where do you hail from?" - -"Pointview, Connecticut." - -"I'm from Flint, Michigan, and I'm just tuckered out. They keep me going -night and day. I'm making a collection of old knockers. Do you suppose -there are any shops where they keep 'em here?" - -"Don't know. I'm just a pilgrim and a stranger and am not posted in the -knocker trade," I answered. - -The crowd had turned a corner; and with a swift good-by she ran after -it, fearful, I suppose, of losing some detail in the domestic life of -Hadrian. - -So on one leg, as it were, she enters and swiftly crosses the stage. -It's a way Providence has of preparing us for the future. To this -moment's detention I was indebted for an adventure of importance, for as -she left me I saw Muggs, the sleek, pestiferous Muggs, coming out of -the old baths on his way to the gate. He must have been the man who had -called to see Norris that morning. He turned pale with astonishment and -nodded. - -"Well, Muggs, here you are," I said. - -He handled himself in a remarkable fashion, for he was as cool as a -cucumber when he answered: - -"I used to resemble a lot of men, and some pretty decent fellows used -to resemble me, but as soon as they saw me they quit it--got out from -under, you know. Even my photographs have quit resembling me." - -"Well, you have changed a little, but my hat and overcoat look just -about as they did," I laughed. . - -"If I didn't know it was impossible I would say that your name was -Potter," said he. - -"And if I knew it was impossible I would swear that your name was -Muggs," I answered. - -"Forget it," said he; "in the name of God, forget it. I'm trying to live -honest, and I'm going to let you and your friends alone if you'll let me -alone. Now, that's a fair bargain." - -I hesitated, wondering at his sensitiveness. - -"You owe us quite a balance, but I'm inclined to call it a bargain," I -said. "Only be kind to that hat and coat; they are old friends of mine. -I don't care so much about the two hundred dollars." - -"Thanks," he answered with a laugh, and went on: "I've given you proper -credit on the books. You'll hear from me as soon as I am on my feet." - -"What are you doing here?" I asked. - -He answered: "Ever since I was a kid I've wanted to see the Colosseum -where men fought with lions." - -"I am sure that you would enjoy a look at Hadrian's Walk," I said, -pointing to the tourists who had halted there as I turned away. - -So we parted, and with a sense of good luck I hurried to Norris. - -"I've got a crick in my back," I said. "Let's get out of here." - -We proceeded to our motor-car at the entrance. - -"This ruin is the most infamous relic in the world," said Norris, as -we got into our car; "it stands for the grandeur of pagan hoggishness. -Think of a man who wanted all the treasures and poets and musicians -and beauties in the world for the exclusive enjoyment of himself and -friends. Millions of men gave their lives for the creation of this -sublime swine-yard. Hadrian's Villa, and others like it, broke the back -of the empire. I tell you, the world has changed, and chiefly in its -sense of responsibility for riches. Here in Italy you still find the old -feudal, hog theory of riches, which is a thing of the past in America -and which is passing in England. We have a liking for service. I tell -you, Potter, my daughter ought to marry an American who is strong in the -modem impulses, and go on with my work." - - - - -VII.--IN WHICH I TEACH THE DIFFICULT ART OF BEING AN AMERICAN IN ITALY - - - NORRIS had overtaxed himself in this ride to Tivoli and spent the next -day in his bed. - -"My conversation often has this effect," I said, as I sat by his -bedside. "Forty miles of it is too much without a sedative. You need the -assistance of the rest of the family. Let Gwendolyn and her mother take -a turn at listening." - -"That's exactly what I propose. I want you to look after them," he said. -"They need me now if they ever did, and I'm a broken reed. Be a friend -to them, if you can." - -I liked Norris, for he was bigger than his fortune, and you can't say -that of every millionaire. Not many suspect how a lawyer's heart can -warm to a noble client. I would have gone through fire and water for -him. - -"If they can stand it I can," was my answer. "A good many people have -tried my friendship and chucked it overboard. It's like swinging an -ax, and not for women. One has to have regular rest and good natural -vitality to stand my friendship." - -"They have just stood a medical examination," he went on. "I want you -and Mrs. Potter to see Rome with Gwendolyn and her mother and give them -your view of things. Be their guide and teacher. I hope you may succeed -in building up their Americanism, but if you conclude to turn them into -Italians I shall be content." - -"There are many things I can't do, but you couldn't find a more willing -professor of Americanism," I declared. - -So it happened that Betsey and I went with Gwendolyn and her mother for -a drive. - -I am not much inclined to the phrases of romance. Being a lawyer, I hew -to the line. But I have come to a minute when my imagination pulls at -the rein as if it wanted to run away. I remember that an old colonial -lawyer refers in one of his complaints to "a most comely and winsome -mayd who with ribbands and slashed sleeves and snug garments and -stockings well knit and displayed and sundry glances of her eye did -wickedly and unlawfully work upon this man until he forgot his duty -to his God, his state, and his family," and it is on record that this -"winsome mayd" was condemned to sit in the bilboes. - -The tall, graceful, blue-eyed, blond-haired girl, opposite whom I sat -in the motor-car that day, was both comely and winsome. She innocently -"worked upon" the opposite sex until one member of it got to work upon -me, and I'm not the kind that goes around looking for trouble. Even when -it looks for me it often fails to find me. - -I am a man rather firmly set in my way and well advanced upon it, but I -have to acknowledge that Gwendolyn's face kept reminding me of the best -days of my boyhood, when life itself was like a rose just opened, and -the smile of Betsey was morning sunlight. Backed by great wealth, its -effect upon the marryers of Italy can be imagined. - -Gwendolyn had survived the three deadly perils of girlhood--cake, candy, -and the soda-fountain. A pony and saddle and good air to breathe helped -her to win the fight until she went to school in Munich, where a wise -matron and the spirit of the school induced her to climb mountains and -eat meat and vegetables and other articles in the diet of the sane. Now -she was a strong, red-cheeked, full-blooded young lady of twenty. In -spite of the stanch Americanism of Norris, Gwendolyn and her mother were -full of European spirit. They liked democracy, but they loved the pomp -and splendor of courts, and the sound of titles, and the glitter of -swords and uniforms. As we got into the car we observed numbers of young -men staring at us, and I spoke of it, and Gwendolyn said to me: - -"I think that the young men in America are better-looking, but they -are so cold! All the girls tell me that these boys can beat them making -love, and I believe it." - -"But most of our boys have work to do," I said. "With them love-making -is only a side issue, and it often comes at the end of a long, hard day. -These Italians seem to have nothing else to do but make love." - -"I don't see, for my part, why men who have plenty of money should -have to work," said Mrs. Norris. "What's the use of having money if it -doesn't give you leisure for enjoyment?" - -"But leisure is like dynamite--you have to be careful with it," I said. -"For most of us it's the only danger. All deviltry begins in leisure and -ends in work, if at all. Being naturally sinful, I don't fool with it -much. Of course you women are moral giants, and you don't need to be so -scared of it." - -"You have to joke about everything," said Mrs. Norris. "Sometimes I -think that I understand you and suddenly you begin joking, and then I -lose confidence in all you have said." - -"I mean all I say and then some more," I declared. "I assume that you -are moral giants or that you do a lot of work secretly. No _man_ could -keep his footing in the slippery path of unending leisure. In Europe -leisure is the aim of all, and where it most abounds morality is a joke. -Here blood and leisure are the timber of which all ladies and gentlemen -are made. In America we know that it's rotten timber. We have discovered -three great commandments. They are written not only on tablets of stone, -but everywhere. If they were printed across the sky they couldn't be any -plainer. You know them as well as I do." The three ladies turned serious -eyes upon me and shook their heads. - -Then I shot my bolt at them: - -"They are: - -"1. Get busy. - -"2. Keep busy. - -"3. See that it pays, which means that you are to play as well as work." - -Mrs. Norris smiled and nimbly stepped out of my way and bravely -answered, like a real rococo aristocrat: - -"I fear that you are prejudiced. I should be proud to have my daughter -marry into one of these old families, not hastily, of course, but after -we have found the right man. There are splendid men in some of them, and -your best Italian is a most devoted husband. He worships his wife." - -"And if you're looking for a worshiper you couldn't find a place where -the arts of worship have been so highly developed," I answered. "But no -American girl should be looking for a worshiper unless she's under the -impression that she created the world, and even then a doctor would do -her more good. Of course Gwendolyn would prefer a man, and what's the -matter with one of your own countrymen--Forbes, for instance?" - -"I couldn't pass his examination--too difficult!" said Gwendolyn, with a -laugh. "I think that he is looking for a world-beater--a girl who -could win the first prize in a golf tournament or a beauty show or a -competition in mathematics. What chance have I? He thinks that he -has got to be a rich man before he gets married. What chance has he?" -Clearly she wanted me to know that she liked him and resented his -apparent indifference. I suppose that he had not fallen down before her, -as other boys had done, and she could not quite make him out. Probably -that's why she preferred him. - -"He has wonderful self-possession," I said. - -"Yes, he'll never let go of himself. All the girls say that about him. -He's a wise youngster." - -"If he were in my place I don't believe he could hold out through the -day," I declared. - -"She does look well, doesn't she?" said Mrs. Norris, as she proudly -surveyed her daughter. "Italy agrees with her, and she loves it and the -people." - -"So do I," was my answer. "The Italian people, who are doing the work of -Italy, are admirable. Out in the vineyards you will find young men who -are even good enough for Gwendolyn. It's these idle horse-traders that -I object to--these fellows who are trying to swap a case of spavined -respectability for a fortune." - -"Oh, you're a mountain of prejudice!" Mrs. Norris exclaimed. "Now, -there's the Princess Carrero. She was an American girl, and she is the -happiest, proudest woman in Italy. Her husband is one of the finest -gentlemen I ever met." - -"He's a dear!" Gwendolyn echoed. - -"For my part I think that international marriages are a fine thing," -Mrs. Norris went on. "They are drawing the races together into one -brotherhood." - -"But such a brotherhood will be hard on our sisterhood," I objected. "A -wife here is the chief hired girl. Often if she doesn't mind she gets -licked, and if she's an American she must always pay the bills." - -We had come to the great church of St. Paul, beyond the ancient walls of -the city. There we left our car and passed through a crowd of insistent -beggars to enter its door. We shivered in our wraps under the great, -golden ceiling high above our heads. Its towering columns and pilasters -looked like sculptured ice. It was all so cold! - -"It doesn't seem right," I said to Mrs. Norris, "that one should get a -chill in the house of God." - -"Keep cool ought to be good advice for Christians," said Betsey. - -"But coldness and hospitality are bad companions," I insisted. "Chilling -grandeur a people might reasonably expect from their king; but is it the -thing for a prodigal returning to his father's house?" - -"But isn't it beautiful?" - -Mrs. Norris wished me to agree, and I shocked her by saying: - -"Beautiful, but too much like kings' palaces. The Golden House of Nero -was just this kind of thing, and it's on record that Jesus Christ had no -taste for show and glitter. I believe He called it vanity." Mrs. Norris -wore a look of surprise. The old horse called Honesty took the bit in -his teeth then and fairly ran away with me. - -"The whole difference between Europe and America is in this building," I -said. "We no longer believe in kings or kings' palaces in heaven or upon -earth. With most of us God has ceased to be an emperor rejoicing in pomp -and splendor and adulation. We find that He likes better to dwell in a -cabin and a humble heart. We do not believe that he cares for the title -of king. We do not believe that there are any titles in heaven." - -At this point I observed a look of astonishment in the face of Mrs. -Norris, so I suddenly closed the tap of my thoughts. - -Was it my philosophy? No, it was Muggs who lifted his hat (or rather my -hat) as he passed us with the sentimental Mrs. Mullet clinging to his -arm. - -"Don't notice him," Mrs. Norris whispered to her daughter, as both -turned away. "It's that odious Wilton who used to come and see father." - -I wondered how it was going to be possible for me to rescue Mrs. Mullet -under the circumstances of our covenant of non-interference. We turned -and left this splendid memorial to the great apostle Paul. - -Count Carola was waiting for us at the step of the car, and kissed the -hands of Mrs. Norris and Gwendolyn, and assisted them to their seats. I -was presented to him, and am forced to say that I didn't like the cut of -his jib. Still, I'm very particular about jibs, especially the jib of a -new boat. - -"Poor dear boy!" Mrs. Norris exclaimed, as we drove away. "There's a -lover for you!" - -"He grows handsomer every day," said Gwendolyn, in a low, lyrical tone. - -"It's his suffering," Mrs. Norris half moaned. - -"Do you really think so?" the young lady sympathized. - -"Hold on, Juliet!" said I. "If I were you I'd shoo him off the balcony. -He's a perfect lily of a man, but he won't do--too generous, too -devoted! We have men like him in America. There their titles are never -mentioned in the best society, and their persons are often cruelly -injured. For a badge of rank they have adopted a kind of liver-pad which -they wear often over one eye or the other. Of course on Broadway they -haven't the romantic environment of Italy, and are subject to all kinds -of violence." - -Mrs. Norris flashed a glance of surprise at me. - -"You are a cruel iconoclast," said she. "He belongs to one of the best -families in Italy." - -"And if I were you I'd let him continue to belong to it; at least, -I wouldn't want to buy him. He acts like a book-agent or a seller of -lightning-rods, or a train-boy with his chocolates and chewing-gum. He -won't take 'No' for an answer. He keeps tossing his wares into your laps -and seems to say: 'For God's sake, think of my starving family and make -me some kind of an offer.' Do you think that compares in dignity with -the self-possession of Richard?" - -The ladies exchanged glances. Gwendolyn laughed and blushed. Mrs. Norris -smiled. I went on: - -"He defaces the landscape like the portraits of the late Mr. Mennen in -America. He shows up everywhere as an advertisement for his own charms." - -[Illustration: 0106] - -"That's his legend." - -"It's just a little ridiculous, isn't it?" said the girl. - -"Oh, the poor boy is in love!" Mrs. Norris pleaded, in a begging, -purring tone which said, plainly enough, "Of course you are right, but -every boy is a fool when he is in love, isn't he?" - -"So is Richard in love," I boldly declared for him, "but he isn't on the -bargain-counter; he isn't damaged, shop-worn, or out of date; he hasn't -been marked down." - -Two pairs of eyes stared at mine with a prying gaze. - -Gwendolyn leaned forward and grasped my hand. - -"Who in the world is he in love with?" she asked, eagerly. "Tell me at -once." - -"Himself!" Mrs. Norris exclaimed, before I could answer. - -"No; with Gwendolyn," I ventured. - -Both seemed to relax suddenly, and their backs touched the upholstery. - -"I haven't a doubt of it," was my firm assertion. - -The fair maid leaned toward me again. - -"You misguided man!" she exclaimed. "Why do you think that?" - -"For many reasons and--_one_," - -"What is the _one?_" Gwendolyn asked. - -"That is my last shot, and I am not going to throw it away. It's worth -something, and if you get it you'll have to pay for it." - -"You cruel wretch!" she said, with a stinging slap on my hand. "What -then are your many reasons?" - -"They are all in this phrase, 'sundry glances of the eye.'" - -"How disappointing you are!" - -"And what a spoiled child you are!" I retorted. "Ever since you began to -walk you have had about everything that you asked for. The magic lamp of -Aladdin was in your hands. You had only to wish and to have. Of course -you don't think that you can keep on doing that. You'll soon see that -the best things come hard; they have to be earned, and I guess Dick -Forbes is one of them. He doesn't seem to be looking for money; what -he wants is a real woman. He can love, and with great tenderness and -endurance. He's a long-distance lover. His love will keep right along -with you to the last. He doesn't go around singing about it with a -guitar; he doesn't burst the dam of his affection to inundate an heiress -and swear that all the contents of the infinite skies are in his little -flood. That kind of thing doesn't go down any longer; it's out of date. -With us it's gone the way of the wig and the crown and the knight and -the noisome intrigue and the tallow dip and the brush harrow. We know -it's mostly mush, twaddle, and mendacity. Here in Europe you will still -find the brush harrow, the tallow dip, and the tallow lover, but not in -our land. If you get Richard Forbes you'll have to go into training and -try to satisfy his ideals, but it will be worth while." - -The ladies changed color a little and sat with looks of thoughtful -embarrassment, as if they had on their hands a white elephant whose -playfulness had both amused and alarmed them. Twice Betsey and Gwendolyn -had broken into laughter, but Mrs. Norris only smiled and looked -surprised. - -"Perhaps you could tell me what his ideals are," said Gwendolyn. - -Our arrival at the Borghese galleries saved me. We immediately entered -them and resumed the study of art. Nothing there interested me so much -as the busts of the old emperors. What a lot of human shoats they must -have been! Idleness and overeating had created the imperial type of -human architecture--eyes set in fat, massive jowls, great necks that -seemed to rise to the tops of their heads. With them the title business -began to thrive. It was nothing more or less than a license to prey on -other people. No wonder that every other man's life was in danger while -they lived. - -What modesty was theirs! When a man became emperor he caused a statue -of himself to be made as father of all the gods. It was probably not -so large as he felt, but as large as the rocks would allow--only some -fifteen feet high. It was the beginning of the bust and the portrait -craze. - -We passed from the hall of shoats to the picture-galleries. - -I have read of what Beaudelaire calls "the beauty disease," and there -is no place where the young may be more sure of getting it than in these -Old-World art-galleries. Gwendolyn and her mother had a mild attack of -this disease, "this lust of the art faculties which eats up the moral -like a cancer." The monstrous excesses of the idle rich are symptoms -of its progress. In Europe the church, the aristocracy, and the art -students have caught the fever of it. - -"How lovely! How tender!" said Gwendolyn, as we stood before the Danaë -of Correggio. - -"How lovely! How tenderloin!" I echoed, by way of an antitoxin. - -Here was a fifteenth-century ideal of female attractiveness radiating an -utterly morbid sensuality. The picture reeked and groaned with passion. - -Young men and women from towns and villages in our land who sat -industriously copying the works of old masters were turning money newly -made in Zanesville, Keokuk, Cedar Rapids, and like places into weird -imitations of Correggio, Titian, and Botticelli. Well, I expect that -they were having a good time, but I would rather see them copying the -tints and forms of nature near their own doors than worshiping the kings -of art, which is another form of the title craze. - -Here we met again the elderly lady with the beautiful feet who had -crossed on our steamer--Mrs. Fraley from Terre Haute. She presented -Betsey and me to Miss Muriel Fraley, her grandniece, a good-looking miss -of about twenty-three, who was copying the Danaë. Mrs. Fraley had found -new and delightful astonishments in Italy, the chief of which was this -Europeanized niece. She drew me aside and whispered: - -"She is a lovely child! Just notice the aristocratic pose of her head." - -I allowed that I could see it, for I had to, and ran my mental hand into -the grab-bag for something to say and pulled out: - -"I like that blond hair--of--hers." - -I observed, as the girl looked up, that her cheeks were just a bit too -red and that her eyes had been slightly emphasized. They did not need -it, either, for they were capital eyes to start with. - -"And she is as good as she is beautiful," the old lady went on, in a low -tone of strict confidence. "And, you know, since she came here a real -count has made love to her." - -"A count!" I exclaimed. - -There was a touch of awe in her tone as she said, "Belongs to one of the -oldest families in Italy!" - -I cleared my throat and thought of death and funerals and comic -supplements and such mournful things for safety. - -"I want you to meet him at dinner," the good soul went on. "Where are -you stopping?" - -"At the Grand Hotel." - -"We are near there, at the Pension Pirroni. You and Mrs. Potter must -dine with us." - -I gradually separated myself from Mrs. Fraley and hastened to join my -friends. I found them with startled looks in a group of the ancient -marble gods and others who lived before the invention of trousers. - -"If I were to assume the license of Hercules and stand up here on a -pedestal, what do you suppose they'd do to me?" I whispered to Betsey. - -"You're no work of art!" said she. - -"No, I'm a man, and better than any imitation of a man, for when a lady -came into the room I should jump down and hide in some sarcophagus." - -I left them with the poetic cattle of Olympus and went on and asked them -to look for me at the door. I lingered awhile with the lovely figures -of Canova and Bernini, and was glad at last to get out of the chilly -atmosphere of the gallery. - -I found the count at the door. He approached me and said, in broken -English: - -"The ladies, I suppose, they are yet inside now." - -I saw my chance and took advantage of it. - -"Why do you follow them?" - -"Because I have the hope for good devil-_op_-ments." - -His "devil-_op_-ments" amused me, and I could not help laughing. - -"Ah, Signore, I have very much troubley in my harrit," he added. - -"And you will have trouble in other parts of your system if you do not -go away," I said. "If you follow these ladies again I shall ask the -police to protect us. If they cannot keep you away I shall injure you in -some manner, or hire a boy to do it." - -"What! You cannot achieve it!" he answered, in some heat. "You have -given me the insults. I shall implore my friend to call on you." - -"Send him along," I said, as he hurried away. - -The ladies came out presently, and I observed that Gwendolyn and her -mother seemed to miss the count. - -"He's discouraged, poor thing!" said Mrs. Norris, as we drove away. - - - - -VIII.--I AGREE TO FIGHT A DUEL AND NAME A WEAPON WITH WHICH EUROPEAN -GENTLEMEN ARE UNFAMILIAR - - THE count's friend called to see me that evening, as I expected. He was -a very good-looking young fellow who had more humor and better English -than the count. He was a Frenchman of the name of Vincent Aristide -de Langueville. Betsey had gone to the opera with Mrs. Norris and -Gwendolyn. I was alone. - -"For my friend, the Count Carola, I have the honor to ask you to name -the day and the weapons," he said, with politeness, before he had sat -down. - -Now I was in for it. After all, I thought for traveling with an heiress -in this country one needs a suit of armor. - -"I'm a born fighter," I said, "but almost always my weapons have been -words. They are the only weapons with which I am thoroughly familiar. I -propose that we have a talking-match. Put us, say, ten paces apart and -light the fuse and get back out of the way while we explode. We'll load -the guns with Italian, if he prefers it, and I'll give him the first -shot. After ten minutes you can carry him off the field. He'll be -severely wounded, but it won't hurt him any." - -Vincent Aristide de Langueville laughed a little and said: - -"But, my dear sir, this is not one joke. We desire the satisfaction." - -"And I will guarantee it," was my answer. - -"But, sir, we must have the fight until the blood comes." - -"Ah, you are looking for blood also," I said. "Well, I have thought of -another weapon which once upon a time I could handle with some skill. -Let's have a duel with pitchforks." - -"Pitchforks! What is it?" he asked. "I do not understand." - -"It's a favorite weapon in New England. My great-grandfather fought -the Indians and the British with it, and it was one of the weapons -with which I fought against poverty when I was a boy. It's a great -blood-letter. I used to kill coons and hedgehogs with the pitchfork." - -"Please tell me what it is. What is it?" he pleaded. - -With my pencil I drew a picture of it and said: "This handle is about -five feet in length and very strong. These three prongs are of steel and -curved a little and long enough to go through the abdomen of the most -prosperous mayor in France." - -"My God! It is the devil's weapon!" he exclaimed. - -"You may report to him that the American pitchfork is the -'devil-_op_-ment' of our interview, and I shall name the day and hour as -soon as I can get hold of the weapon." - -"I shall tell my friend, and, please, may I take the picture with me?" -said Vincent. - -"Certainly, and you may say to him that I shall cable for the forks -to-night, and that as soon as they arrive I shall appoint the day and -hour." - -He gave me his card. - -"You live here in Rome?" I asked. - -"I do." - -"Do you work for a living?" - -"I am a sculptor." - -"I have often thought that I should like to see a sculptor. Sit down -till I get you framed and hung in my portrait-gallery." - -"I must go," said he. "Perhaps you will do me the honor to call." - -I agreed to do so, just to show that I entertained no grudge, and with -that he left me. - -Before going to bed that night I cabled to my secretary as follows: - -"Ship to me immediately four well-made American pitchforks, three tines -each." - -I said nothing to Betsey of the proposed duel, but broke the news that I -had met a great sculptor, and she wanted to see his studio, and next day -we called there. Mrs. Mullet was sitting for a bust, in her dinner gown. -Before we had had time to recognize the lady the artist had introduced -her as the Madame Mullette, from Sioux City. - -"Isn't this an adorable place?" she asked in that lyrical tone which one -hears so often in the Italian capital. She pointed at busts of several -Americans standing on pedestals and awaiting delivery. - -"Look at the whiskers embalmed in marble!" Betsey exclaimed, as she -gazed at one of the busts. It had that familiar chin tuft of the -Zimmermann hay-seed and a dish collar and string tie. The face wore the -brave, defiant, me-against-the-world look that I had observed in -the statue of Titus, made after he had turned Palestine into a -slaughter-house. - -"Why, that is our old friend from Prairie du Chien who came over on the -_Toltec_," I said. "You remember the man who is studying the history of -the world, all about the life of the world, especially the life of the -ancients?" - -"Yes, indeed," said Betsey. - -"He is one lumber king, and one very rich man," the artist remarked. - -"You are spending some time here in Rome," I said to Mrs. Mullet. - -"Oh, I am devoted to the Eternal City!" she exclaimed, and how she loved -the sound of that musty old phrase "Eternal City"! She added, "I have -been here four times, and I love every inch of it." - -The sculptor resumed his work with a new sitter, while Mrs. Mullet went -with us from end to end of the great studio and whispered at the first -opportunity: - -"De Langueville is a wonderful man; he is a baron in his own country. If -you want a bust he will let you pay for it in instalments. Five hundred -dollars down and the remainder within three years." - -The hectic flush of art for Heaven's sake was in her face. - -"A bust is a good thing," I said. "I have often dreamed of having one. -There are times when I feel as if I couldn't live without it. If I had a -bust where I could look at it every day I suppose it would take some of -the conceit out of me. When I had stood it as long as possible I could -tie a rope around its neck and use it for an anchor on my rowboat." - -"Perhaps it would scare the fish," said Betsey. - -"In that case I could use it to hold down the pork in the brine of the -family barrel," I suggested. - -"Oh, I think that you would sculp beautifully," said Mrs. Mullet, in -a tone of encouragement, as she looked at my head. Then, by way of -changing the subject, she added, "I believe that Colonel Wilton is a -friend of yours." - -"Colonel Wilton!" I said, puzzling over the name with its new title. -Even the American gentlemen enjoy titles. - -"Don't you remember meeting us in Saint Paul's? And didn't you trade -hats and coats with him in New York?" - -"No, he traded with me," I said. "I know him like a book." - -"Is he not a friend of yours?" - -"It would be truer to say that I am a friend of his." - -I was on dangerous ground and thinking hard through all this. - -"But he knows Mr. Norris very well. I believe they are great friends." - -"You may believe it, but I don't," I answered, rather gravely. - -I had to decide what to do, and quickly. I had not forgotten my promise -to let Muggs alone, and it was of course the safer thing to do--just to -let him alone. But he had gone too far in expecting me to furnish him a -character. - -Mrs. Mullet began to change color, and that led me to ask: - -"Is Wilton a friend of yours?" - -"We are engaged," said she. - -"Good heavens!" I exclaimed. - -I had heard that Mrs. Mullet had money, and she was good game for the -neat Mr. Wilton. Now I could see his reason for letting us alone in -Italy, where he was four thousand miles from danger. I saw, too, that I -must take a course which would inevitably expose us to more trouble, for -I could not permit this simple woman to be wronged. - -"Don't give him the source of your information," I said. "I want to speak -kindly, and so I shall only say that he's a fugitive from justice. The -name Wilton is assumed." - -Mrs. Mullet fell into a chair and seemed to find it hard work to -breathe. Betsey put her smelling-salts under the lady's nose. She -quickly regained her self-possession and rose and said, in a trembling -voice: - -"Thank you! I am going home." - -She left, and again we paid our compliments to the artist, who politely -left his work to speak with us. He asked me for information regarding -certain Americans who owed him for busts. An actress had had herself -put, life-size and nude, into white marble, and after making her first -payment was maintaining a discreet silence in some part of the world -unknown to the artist. - -"How coy!" Betsey exclaimed as she looked at the marble figure. - -A Brooklyn woman and her two daughters had sat for busts and then had -weakened on the general proposition and abandoned the country when they -were half finished. I made haste to depart for fear that he might wish -to engage me as collector for his bust factory. - -Just beyond the door we met a young man who had come over on the boat -with us, and stopped for a word with him. I was telling him that I was -going to see the Pantheon that afternoon, when Muggs greeted me. - -"It's a wonderful ruin," he remarked with a smile. - -I made no answer, and he entered the studio, probably to meet Mrs. -Mullet. He would get his dismissal soon. Then what? - - - - -IX.--A MODERN AMERICAN MARRYER ENTERS THE SCENE - - I HAVE read that there are no fairies in Italy, but I know better. -Italy is full of them, and they are the most light-footed, friendly, -impartial, democratic fairies in the world. They are liable to make -friends with anybody. Like many Italians, they seem to live mostly on -the foreign population. A number of them adopted me for a residence. -Sometimes, when they were playful, they made me feel like a winter -resort. They used to enjoy tobogganing down the slopes of my shoulders -and digging their toes in the snow; they held games here and there on my -person, which seemed to be well attended. I got a glimpse of one of them -now and then, and we became acquainted with each other; and, while he -was very shy, I am sure that he knew and liked me. I called him Oberon. -He and his kin did me a great service, for they taught me why people -move their arms and shrug their shoulders so much in Italy. Then, too, I -always had company wherever I happened to be. - -So when Betsey and the Norris ladies implored me to go with them to Mrs. -Dorsey's palace and hear a prince lecture, I reported that I was engaged -to play with the fairies, whereupon they concluded that I wanted the -time for meditation and left me out of their plans. So it happened that -I was, fortunately, alone with Norris when Forbes arrived, a full day -ahead of his schedule. - -The boy and I went out for a walk together. Before sailing he had spent -two weeks coaching the ball-team of his college and was in fine form. -His kindly blue eyes glowed with vitality and his skin was browned by -the sunlight. As I looked at that tall, straight column of bone and -muscle, with its broad shoulders and handsome head, I could not help -saying: "If you were standing on a pedestal here in Rome there'd be a -lot of gals in the gallery." - -"Before you say things like that you should teach me how to answer them -with wit and modesty," he said. - -"Keep your eye on me and you'll learn all the arts of modesty," I -assured him. "And especially you will learn how to disarm suspicion when -you are accused of wit." - -In a shaded walk of the Pincio Gardens he asked, "Is Gwendolyn looking -well?" - -"She's more beautiful than ever, and very well," I said. "She will be -disappointed when she finds you here." - -He stopped and faced me with a look of surprise, and asked: - -"Do you think so?" - -"I am sure of it, because she had planned to meet you with proper -ceremony at the station and take you off to a real Roman luncheon. I -am glad that you have come, for I have worked hard as your attorney and -need a rest. I have had some fun with it, but I am delighted to turn the -case over to you." - -He did not need a chart to understand me, for he said: - -"You must tell me what progress you have made with it." - -"Well, I suppose you have read of the Count Carola." - -"Yes, and so has every one who knows Gwendolyn." - -"He is the plaintiff who seeks to establish the claim that he is -a better man than you are. My defense has been so able that he -has challenged me, and I have named the weapons; they are to be -pitchforks--American pitchforks." - -Forbes laughed and remarked: - -"You must take him for a bunch of hay." - -"June grass!" I answered. "We'll need some one to rake after, as we used -to say on the farm, and I may ask you to be my second." - -"Does the count amount to much?" - -"Not much; I have had him added up and his total properly audited." - -"How are the judge and jury?" - -"The judge is in our favor; the jury is in doubt. Gwendolyn insists that -you don't want to marry any one at present." - -"I want to, but I probably shall not," he answered. "When I marry I want -to have done something besides having just lived. It seems as if it were -due my wife. Besides, when I get married I want to stay married; I don't -want any girl to marry _me_ and give her heart to some other fellow. She -must have time to be sure of one thing--that I am the right man. That -cannot be proven with passionate vows or bouquets or guitar music, but -only by sufficient acquaintance. On the other hand, I'd like to know, or -think I know, that she is the right girl. If Gwendolyn really wants to -marry a count it would be silly for me to try to convince her that I -am the better fellow. She must see that for herself. If she doesn't, -I should assume that she was right. God knows that I'm not so stuck on -myself as to question her judgment. I'm very fond of her, but I have -never let her suspect it." - -"If I were you I'd begin to arouse her suspicions." - -"That I propose to do, but delicately and without any guitar music. Love -is a very sacred thing to me." - -"And the man who talks much about his love generally hasn't any," I -suggested. - -"At least, if he has any love in him the cheapest way of showing it is -by talk and song." - -"It's so awful easy to make words lie," I agreed. - -"If she wants me to enter a lying-match with these Romeos I'll agree, -but only on condition that it's a lying-match--that we're only playing a -game. I won't try to deceive her. Women are not fools or playthings any -longer, are they? - -"Generally not, if they're born in America," I agreed. - -Here was the modem American lover, and I must acknowledge that I fell in -love with him. He stood for honest loving--a new type of chivalry--and -against the lying, romantic twaddle which had come down from the feudal -world. That kind of thing had been a proper accessory of courts and -concubines. It would not do for America. - -"I see that I am putting the case in good hands. Go in and win it," I -said. - -"I'll make it my business while I'm here," said he. - -"You're a born business man. I know it's fashionable to hate the word -'business,' but I like it. In love it looks for dividends of happiness." - -"And I've observed that a home has got to pay or go out of business," -said he. "If Gwendolyn would put up with me I believe we could stand -together to the end of the game." - -"I have some reason for saying that she is very fond of you," I -declared. - -"I wouldn't dare ask you to explain, but you tempt me," he said. - -"A good-attorney never tells all he knows unless he is writing a book," -I answered. - -We had come to the Spanish Stairs, where converging ways poured a thin, -noisy fall of tourists and guide-books into the street below. I had seen -the Stairs in my youth. - - And I thought how many thousands - - Of awe-encumbered men, - - Each bearing his Hare and Baedeker, - - Had passed the Stairs since then. - -We made our way through crowded thoroughfares to the Pantheon and were -in the thicket of vast columns when some one touched my arm. Who was -this man with a blue monocle over his right eye, whose look was so -familiar? Ah, to be sure, it was Muggs. - -[Illustration: 0133] - -Again his mustache had disappeared, as had my hat and coat and the old -suit of clothes, and how that blue monocle and the new attire and the -smooth upper lip had changed the whole effect of Muggs! Evidently the -man was prosperous and entering a new career. How does it happen that he -has come in my way again, I asked myself, and then I remembered that he -knew that I was to be there. What was I to expect now?--violence or---- - -He smiled. - -"Charming day, isn't it?" he said, in his most agreeable tone. - -He had neatly and deliberately removed his monocle as he spoke. - -"Very! I suppose that stained-glass window of yours is a memorial to -Wilton?" - -He only smiled. - -"As a European you're a great success," I went on. - -"Beginning a new life from the ground up," said he, and added, with a -glance at the great bronze doors, "Isn't this a wonderful place?" - -"Yes, it was intended for a mammoth safe where reputations could be -stored and embellished and kept, but it didn't work." - -"They cracked it and got away with the reputations," said he, with a -smile. - -"Exactly! In my opinion every man should have his own private pantheon, -and see that his reputation is as strong as the safe. It's the -discrepancy that's dangerous. People won't allow a reputation to stay -where it does not belong." - -He stepped closer and said, in a confidential tone, "I'm trying to -improve mine, and I wish you would help me." - -"How?" - -"Come to a little dinner that I am giving and say a good word for me -when you can." - -"Are you trying to marry Mrs. Mullet?" - -"Yes, I've fallen in love, and, as God's my witness, I'm living honest." - -"Muggs, I'll help you to get a reputation, but I won't help you to get a -wife," I said. "You must get the reputation first, and it will take you -a long time. You'll have to try to pay back the money you've taken and -keep it up long enough to prove your good faith." - -Muggs's plan was quite apparent. He wanted an all-around treaty of -peace. He was still levying blackmail; the thing he demanded was not -cash, but a character. - -"That's exactly what I hope to do," he explained. "I shall have all kinds -of money, and I propose to square every account." - -"That's all right, provided Mrs. Mullet knows the whole plan and is -willing to undertake the responsibility." - -He looked into my eyes, and said clearly in his smile: "You're the worst -ass of a lawyer that I ever saw in my life. I've tried to be decent, and -you've wiped your boots on me. Wait and see what happens now." - -All that seemed to be in his smile, but not a word of it passed his -lips. He neatly adjusted the blue monocle and lifted his hat and said -"Good afternoon," and walked away. - -I, too, had my smile, for I could not help thinking how this biter was -being bitten, and how his old friends, the ghosts of the past, were now -bearing down upon _him_. - -We tramped to St. Peters, where squads of tourists seemed to be reading -prayers out of red prayer-books and where a learned judge from Seattle, -who had lost his pocket-book in a crowd near the statue of St. Peter, -was delivering impassioned and highly prejudiced views of church and -state to the members of his party. - -We lunched at Latour's, where a long and limber-looking blond lady, who -sat beside a Pomeranian poodle with a napkin tucked under his collar, -consumed six cups of coffee and a foot and a half of cigarettes while we -were eating. She was one of the most engaging ruins of the feudal world. -What a theme for an artist was in the painted face and the sign of -the dog! The head waiter told us that she was an American who had been -studying art in Italy for years. - -She ought to be mentioned in the guidebooks, I thought, as we were -leaving. - -We tramped miles to an old barracks of a building called the -Cancellaria, which, according to Baedeker, was clothed in "majestic -simplicity." - -"Baedeker is the Barnum of Europe," I said, as we went on, "but he is -generally more conservative." - -We arrived at the Grand Hotel a little before six. I went with Forbes -to the Norris's apartments. Gwendolyn opened the door for us and greeted -the young man with enthusiasm and led him to the parlor. Betsey was -there, and we went at once to our own room. - -"There's a new count in the game," she remarked, as soon as we had -sat down together--"the Count Raspagnetti, whom we met to-day at Mrs. -Dorsey's. He's the grandest thing in Rome--six feet tall, with a monocle -and a black beard, and is very good-looking. He's no down-at-the-heel -aristocrat, either; has quite a fortune and two palaces in good repair, -and has passed the guitar-and-balcony stage. He's about thirty-two, and -seems to be very nice and sensible. Mrs. Dorsey calls him the dearest -man in the world, and she has invited us to dinner to meet him again. -It was a dead set for Gwendolyn, and the child was deeply impressed. It -isn't surprising; these Italian men are most fascinating." - -"I suppose so," I said, wearily. "The countless counts of Italy are -getting on my nerves. Counts are a kind of bug that gets into the brains -of women and feeds there until their heads are as empty as a worm-eaten -chestnut." - -"Not at all," said Betsey; "but if she must have a title--" - -"She mustn't," I said. - -"You can't stop her." - -"That remains to be seen," was my answer. - -"Richard had better get a move on him," said Betsey. "He can't dally -along as you did." - -"Let him get his breath--he's only just landed." - -According to my custom I dined with Norris in his suite. Forbes went -with the ladies to the dining-room. - -"Aren't you about ready to go back?" I asked, as I thought of Muggs's -smile. - -"I should like to," he said, "but the girls are having the time of their -lives, and this air is making a new man of me. Then the young count -seems to have let go; he doesn't annoy us any more. I'm hoping that -Forbes will settle this count business." - -While we were eating a telegram was put in my hands which read as -follows: - -_I am stopping at the Bristol in Florence and must have your -professional advice immediately._ - -_I cannot go to Rome, so will you kindly come here._ - -_I am in serious trouble. If I am not at hotel look for me third -corridor of paintings, Uffizi Gallery. Please regard this as strictly -confidential. M. Mullet._ - -I answered that she should look for me the next day, and said to Norris: - -"I have to go to Florence to-morrow." - -"Take the car and your wife and the young people," said he. "The roads -are fine, and you'll enjoy it." - -I thanked him for the suggestion. - -"There's one other thing," said he. "If you think Forbes means business -tell him at the first opportunity that I am an ex-convict, and let me -know how he takes it. We must be fair to him." - -"Leave it to me." - -"We'll take them down to Naples with the motor-car soon," said Norris. -"Vesuvius is active again, and we must see her in eruption." He did not -suspect that another Vesuvius was beginning to quake beneath us, and I -did not have the heart to speak of it. I hoped that I could serve as a -shock-absorber in the new eruption and save him any worry. - - - - -X.--A DAY OF ADVENTURES WITH TUSCAN ARTISTS AND OTHERS - - NEXT morning I found Betsey and the young people eager for the trip to -Florence. Richard and I had breakfast together at eight-thirty. - -"There's a new count in the game," said he, as soon as we were seated -together. "He came to our table last evening. He's a grand chap and in -favor with the king, to whom he is going to present Gwendolyn and her -mother. He knows how to talk to women, and I don't. I shall not be in it -with him." - -"As to which is the best man it's her judgment, not yours, that's -important," I said. "So long as I am managing the case you must take -nothing for granted. Put her on the witness-stand, and let's know -what she has to say about it. Before that I must tell ye something--in -confidence. Norris is about the best fellow that I ever knew, but he got -into trouble when he was a boy. He was the victim of circumstances and -went to prison--served a year." - -"I heard of that long ago," said Forbes. - -"What!" I exclaimed, in astonishment. - -"Nobody cares anything about that. Everybody knows that he's a good man -now--that is enough in America." - -"Do many know it?" - -"Probably not. I have heard that even Gwendolyn and her mother do not -know it." - -It surprised and in a way it pleased me to learn that I had told him -what he already knew. I remembered that he had said, in his walk with -me, that the distinguished editor who had got the tragic story from -my lips was an uncle of his. So, after all, it was not strange that he -should know. - -"I presume that he had a wild youth, but he's a good man," Forbes added. - -That was all we said about it. - -Our drive, which began at midday, took us through the loveliest -vineyards in Italy. I shall never forget the vivid-green valley of the -Arno as it looked that day. Lace-like vines spreading over the cresset -tops of the olives and between them and filling the air with color; -stately poplar rows and dark spires of cypress; distant purple mountain -walls and white palaces on misty heights--they were some of the items. -Here in these vineyards, and in others like them, are about the best -tillers in the world--a simple, honest, beauty-loving people who are the -soul of Italy, and, in the main, no country has a better asset. - -On the road we met the Litchmans, of Chicago, touring with their -yelling-machine and a special car trailing behind them filled with -clothes and millinery. - -That night we dined together and went to the opera. It was all Greek -to me, but it was great! They woke me at one, and we went home. Next -morning, having learned that Mrs. Mullet was not at her hotel, we all -proceeded to the vast Uffizi Gallery. Grand place! - -What a wonderful procession these people in marble and paint see every -day in the parade of weary pilgrims, in the moving mosaic of humanity. -What a Babel of tongues, all speaking Baedeker! I wonder if the gods, -emperors, and painted masterpieces fully appreciate this endless human -caravan. It is far more wonderful than they. Who are these people? Ask -any of them, and he will be apt to tell you that the rest are fools; -that almost every one of them is looking for conversational thunder -and--knockers! - -Some hurry. - -"Two more galleries to see, and the train goes at five," you hear one of -them saying. - -I was nearly bowled over and trampled upon by three German women who had -lost their party. - -Once these marble floors were almost exclusively the highway of -the highbrows. Now the sacred children of the imagination are being -introduced to a new crowd. Newness is its chief characteristic. Here -are the overgrown multitude of the newly rich, the truly rich, and -the untruly rich. Here are the newly married, the unmarried, the -over-married, and the slightly married, and the well-married from all -lands, some of them new recruits in the great army of art. - -We passed through the Hall of the Ancient Imperial Shoats into the long -corridor filled with statuary. - -"The old gods seem to have had desperate battles before they gave up," -Betsey said to me. "Most of them lost either an arm or a leg in the -war." - -"Many were beheaded and chucked into the garbage-barrels," I answered. -"The way Jupiter and Minerva were beaten up was a caution. It wasn't -right; it wasn't decent. They were a harmless, inoffensive lot; they -had never done anything to anybody. A lot of things were laid at their -doors, but nothing was ever proved against 'em. These days we know -enough to appreciate harmlessness." - -"They were very beautiful," said Betsey, "but they're a crippled lot -now." - -"Yes, most of them have artificial limbs," I answered. "All they do -now is to pose in vaudeville for the entertainment of humanity." As we -neared the room where I was to meet Mrs. Mullet we bade the young people -go their way and look for us at the door about twelve-thirty. - -We found the lady copying the portraits of our first parents. Her breast -began to heave in a storm of emotion as she looked at us. - -"Who are your friends?" I quickly asked, by way of diverting her -thought. - -"This is Adam and Eve," said she, almost tearfully. - -"I'm glad to see that they don't make company of us," Betsey declared. - -"They receive everybody in that same suit of clothes," I answered. "And -Eve's entertainment is so simple--apples right off the tree!" - -"I don't see but that they look just as aristocratic as they would if -they had sprung from poor but respectable parents," said Betsey. - -"Adam looks like a rather shiftless, good-natured young fellow, easily -led, but, on the whole, I like them both," was my answer. "They're frank -and open and aboveboard. If you're looking for your first ancestors and -must have them, I don't think you could do better. Certainly Mr. Darwin -has nothing to offer that compares with them." - -Betsey and I had our little dialogues about many objects in our way, and -now we had got Mrs. Mullet righted, so to speak, and on a firm working -basis. She showed us through the gallery. I remember that she was -particularly interested in the Botticelli paintings. - -Mrs. Mullet said that she adored the Madonna--a case of compound -adoration, for in its adoring group Botticelli succeeded in painting the -most inhuman piety that the world has seen. - -"Isn't that glorious?" Mrs. Mullet asked, as we stopped before his -Venus--a tall lady standing on half a cockle-shell, neatly poised on -breezy water. - -"She has crooked feet," said Betsey. - -"Well, I guess yours would be crooked if you had been to sea on a -cockle-shell," I said, which will prove to the learned reader that we -were about as ignorant of art as any in that hurrying crowd of misguided -people. - -"Oh, I think it's a wonderful thing! Look at the colors!" Mrs. Mullet -exclaimed. - -"But the toes are so long--they are rippling toes. Those on the right -foot look as if they had just finished a difficult run on the piano," -Betsey insisted. - -"She might be called the Long-toed Venus," I suggested. "But she isn't -to blame for that. I suppose she was born with that infirmity." - -So we crude and business-like Americans went on, as we flitted here and -there, sipping the honey from each flower of art. - -Twelve-thirty had arrived, and I suggested to Betsey that she should -meet the young people and go with them wherever they pleased, and that -they could find me at the hotel at four. She left us, and I asked Mrs. -Mullet what I could do for her. - -"I'm in perfectly awful trouble," she sighed, with rising tears. - -"Tell me all about it," I said. "But please do not weep, or people will -wonder what this cruel old man has been doing to you." - -"That man insisted that I should have my bust made and my portrait -painted and agreed to pay for them, but now of course I shall have to -pay for them myself. He has threatened to sue me for a hundred thousand -dollars for breach of promise. It will take more than half my property." - -"Don't worry about the suit," I said. "I'll agree to save you any cost -in that matter. As to the bust, you can use it for a milestone in your -history. The painting will show you how you looked when you were--not as -wise as you are now. You can look at it and take warning." - -"I couldn't bear to look at them. I feel as if I never wanted to see -myself again. I have written to everybody at home about this engagement. -It's just perfectly dreadful!" Again she was near breaking down. - -"You ought to be glad--not sorrowful," I said. "That man can't even play -a guitar. If he had a title or a fortune we wouldn't mind his being a -scamp, but he hasn't. He hasn't even a coat of arms." - -"There! I'm not going to cry, after all," she declared, as she wiped her -eyes. "I'm glad you've kept me from breaking down." - -"I wonder that you didn't wait until you knew him better before making -this engagement," I said. - -"But he was so gentlemanly and nice," she went on; "and Mr. Pike, the -lumber king from Michigan, introduced him to me and said that he had -known him a long time. Then the colonel is acquainted with counts and -barons and other grand people. He claimed to be an old friend of yours -and of Mr. Norris. He said that the last time he called on you he went -away with your hat by mistake, and showed me your initials in the one he -wore." - -"He often associates with property of a questionable character, but I -was not aware that he had got in with the counts and barons," I said. - -"He knows the Count Carola very well," she declared. - -"Leave them to each other--they deserve it," I said. "Return to Rome and -refer Wilton to me, and refuse to have anything more to do with him." - -She asked for my bill, but I assured her that dollars were too small -for such a service, and that I couldn't think of accepting anything less -than thanks in a case of that kind. - -I left her and got a bite to eat and went to our hotel at three-thirty. -Betsey was waiting for me at the door. She was pale and excited. - -"We've had a dreadful time," said she. "Gwendolyn and I had gone on -while Richard was paying our bill in a shop. Suddenly a young man came -and spoke to Gwendolyn. Richard saw it. In a second I heard a horrible -thump and saw the young Italian lying in the mud. He didn't try to get -up. Looked as if he was sleeping." - -"It's bad weather for Romeoing," I answered. "That count should have -waited till the streets were dry. Where are they?" - -"Gwendolyn is in the parlor. Richard said that we should look for him on -the road and took a fiacre and flew. The girl is frightened." - -Betsey brought her out, and we got into the car and sped away. - -"One more count!" I exclaimed, with a laugh. - -"One less count!" said Gwendolyn. "I'm sure he's dead." - -"Ladies have limited rights outside the house in Italy," I said. - -"I don't mind those silly men," said Gwendolyn. "I've been spoken to -like that a dozen times, but I hurry along and pretend that I do not -hear them." - -"That count will be careful after this," I suggested. - -"If he lives," said Gwendolyn. "I'm afraid that his head is cracked." - -"His head was cracked long ago," was my answer. - -"Uncle Soc," said Gwendolyn (she had begun to call me Uncle Soc there in -Italy), "Richard and Italy could never get along together." - -"Richard, Gwendolyn, and America are a better combination," I suggested. - -"What a pretty thought!" she exclaimed, just as we overtook the young -man about a mile out on the highway to Rome. - -"Get in here and behave yourself," I said. "You've had exercise enough." - -"I could stand more, if necessary," he answered, with a laugh, as he sat -down with us. - -That ride to Rome was one of the merriest, in my life. For the young -people it had been a day of joy and progress, but on the whole it hadn't -been a highly creditable day. So let's drop the curtain right here and -let it go into history. - - - - -XI.--IN WHICH WE GET INTO THE FLASH AND GLITTER OF HIGH LIFE - - NEXT evening Betsey and I went to dinner with Mrs. Moses Fraley, of -Terre Haute, at a fashionable hotel. There we saw a show-window in one -of the greatest matrimonial department stores in Europe. Buyers and -sellers and bought and sold were there in full force to inspect the -bargains, and we were able to note reliably the undertone of the market; -and our observations had some effect, I believe, on the fortunes of Miss -Norris. - -Nothing was said of "the count" in our invitation, but we hoped to -have at least a look at him. We put on our best clothes, and our plain, -agricultural natures were well disguised when the impressive head porter -at our destination helped us out of Norris's car and almost touched his -forehead on the pavement at sight of us. That bow was easily worth a -two-franc piece, and he got it. - -"The Yank and his franc are easily parted," Betsey remarked, as we -entered the great whirling door. - -We were in the game, and I was firmly resolved to keep pace with -our compatriots from Terre Haute for one evening, anyhow. Two more -double-franc pieces in the coat-room established my reputation. With -a good suit of clothes and the sudden expenditure of two dollars and a -half you can acquire a reputation in any European hotel. Reputations -are the cheapest things in Europe, but the costs for upkeep are -considerable. Every young man in the place was trying to do something -for us and I began to feel the rich, blue blood in my veins. - -Mrs. Fraley and her niece, in long trains, received and presented us to -their guests. Among them was the lady from Flint who had got the cramp -in her leg at Hadrian's Villa, and who lived at the same boarding-house -with Mrs. Fraley. Her name was Sampf--"Mrs. Sampf," they called her. I -always have to go to my note-book when I try to think of that name. We -always refer to her as the lady whose name sounded like boiling mush. -There were also a sad but handsome young woman of the name of Rantone, -a Minnesota girl who had married an Italian doctor; Mr. Pike, the -whiskered lumber king who was studying the history of the world and -whose bust we had surveyed in the studio of De Langueville, and a -certain young man connected with one of the embassies. - -"The count couldn't come," said Mrs. Fraley. "He wrote that nothing -would please him more than to meet Mr. and Mrs. Socrates Pot ter, but -that he was, unfortunately, quite ill." - -I did not know until then that these good people had come to meet us. - -"Perhaps you'll help us to appraise our loss by giving me his name," I -suggested. - -"Oh, it is the wonderful Count Carola!" said she. "He is about the most -fascinating creature that I ever saw." - -My brain reeled and fell at her feet and called silently for help. In -half a second it had picked itself up again. - -We went into the dining-room. What a fair of jewels and laces and -fresh-cut flowers! At eleven o'clock they were going to have a -dance--kind of a surprise party! They called it The Ball of the Roses. -Our table had a big crop of red and white roses, and in the middle of it -was a little fountain among ferns. Its spray fell with a pleasant sound -upon water-lilies in a big, mossy bowl. - -The retired lumber king sat opposite me, and a retired frog sat between -us on a lily-pad at the edge of the fountain-bowl. He was a goodsized -real frog who was planning to return to active life, I judged, for he -sat with alert eyes as if on the lookout for a business opportunity. I -observed that he looked hopefully at me when I sat down at the right of -Mrs. Fraley, with Mrs. Sampf at my side, as if willing to abandon the -frivolous life any minute if I could suggest an opening for an energetic -young frog. Mrs. Fraley explained that the frog was tied to the edge of -the bowl by a silk thread which was fastened about his neck. I ceased -then to fear and suspect him. - -I could not help thinking how much good Terre Haute money had gone into -these decorations, and we should have been just as well pleased without -the frog and the fountain. - -Here we are at last right in the midst of things--grandeur! high life! -nobility! abdominal hills and valleys! fair slopes of rolling, open -country with their stones imbedded in gold and platinum! toes twinging -with gout! faces with the utohel look on them! - -What a pantheon of rococo deities was this dining-room--princes and -princesses, counts and discounts, countesses and marquises, Wall Street -millionaires and millionheiresses, and average American wives and widows -with friends and dining-men. What is a dining-man? He's a professional -diner-out. He has only to look aristocratic and speak Italian--or -English with a Fifth-Avenue accent--and be able to recognize the people -worth while. A fat old English duchess with a staff in her hand and the -royal purple in her hair made her way to her table with the walk of an -apple-woman. There was no nonsense about her, no illusions, no clinging -to a vanished youth. She was a real woman, and I could have kissed the -hem of her garments for joy. - -A lady sat at one of the tables who suggested the chloride of nitrogen, -being so fat and fetched in at the waist that her shoulders heaved at -every breath, and one could not look at her without fearing that she -would explode and fill the air with hooks and eyes and buttons. - -A large, swell-front, fully furnished Pennsylvania widow sat near us -with her young daughter and a marquis and a well-earned reputation for -great wealth. It seemed to be a busy, popular, agreeable reputation, -with many acquaintances in the room. The widow's costume pleaded for -observation and secured it, for she sat serene and prodigious in jeweled -fat and satin, dripping pearls and emeralds and diamonds. There was -a battlement of diamonds on her brow and a cinch of them on her neck, -surrounded by a stone wall of pearls as big as the marbles that I used -to play with as a boy. Hanging from her ears were two mammoth pearls, -either of which in a sling might have slain Goliath. Her shoulders -glowed with gems, and a stomacher of diamonds adorned her intemperate -zone. What a fresco of American abundance she made in the remarkable -decorations of that room. By and by she drew a wallet from her breast -and paid her bill. - -"How wonderful!" our hostess exclaimed, suddenly. - -A princess in red slippers and with no stockings on her feet, as Mrs. -Fraley informed me, strode in with her young man and took a table near -us. She had been a Wisconsin girl, and her happy Fifth Avenue dialect -rose like the spray of a fountain and fell lightly on our ears. - -"We had a sockless statesman in our country, but I never heard of a -sockless princess before," Mrs. Sampf sputtered. "They tell me that some -of these aristocrats are very poor." - -Mrs. Sampf had been to Egypt and the Holy Land, and talked freely of her -travels. - -"Yes, we went up the Nile to see the dam," she said. "It's a good dam, I -guess, but I didn't care much for it. What I wanted to see was the life. -The folks are awful dirty; I wanted to take a scrubbing-brush and some -Pearline and go at 'em." - -"A few American women with scrubbing-brushes would improve the Egyptian -race," I suggested. "How about the food?" - -"Heavens! I've et everything there is going, I guess; it would take -you a month to learn the names of the vittles. I've got 'em all in my -diary." - -"I suppose you enjoyed the ruins," I said. - -And she went on: - -"I saw a bull temple; it was very nice. You know, they used to worship -bulls. I don't know what for. They must have been hard up for something -to worship. There was five of us traveling on our own hooks. We saw one -temple that was quite nicely carved--had crows and goats on it. I love -goats. Sometimes I think that I must have been a goat in some previous -life." - -I disagreed with her. - -"The pyramids were curious things," she continued. "Some folks never -slid down into 'em at all after traveling all that distance, but -I slid. Since I was a child I have always loved sliding. The most -interesting thing I saw was three baby camels and some Highland soldiers -in Jerusalem with no pants on and funny little skirts that came down -to their knees," she continued. "In the Holy Land I saw a lot of men in -skirts with baggy pants reaching from their knees down." - -She was apparently much interested in the subject of pants, and hurried -on: - -"I found a wonderful old knocker there. By the way, I'm making a -collection of knockers. Have you seen any good ones here in Rome?" - -"Not a knocker! But I haven't been looking for them." And I added, "I -wonder some one doesn't make a collection of pants--pants of every age -and clime." - -"What kind of pants did the ancient Romans wear?" she asked. - -"The same as Adam--the style hadn't changed in ages." - -This woman had got a knocker in Jerusalem, and seen some baby camels -and a number of pantless men; she had seen a bull temple and slid into -a pyramid in Egypt; she had "et vittles" everywhere, and suffered from -cramp in sundry places, and languished in a hot, stuffy state-room with -a quarrelsome lady from Connecticut, all for sixteen hundred dollars -and four months of time. Yet far more than half of the great caravan of -American tourists invading Europe and the East get no more than she did. -The poetry and beauty of the Old World and the money of the New are thus -wasted on each other. - -"America is a pretty good country," I suggested. "There are buildings -in New York as wonderful as any you will see here, and our scenery is -excellent." - -"But we have no ruins," said Mrs. Fraley. - -"On the contrary, we have the grandest ruins in the world," I insisted. -"We have the ruins of slavery and of the old error of unequal, rights; -there all our feudal inheritance has been turned into ruins. Even that -everlasting lake of fire, which is still needed in Europe, is with us -a cold and mossy ruin. Nothing in it but garbage these days. We have -physical ruins, too, and very ancient ones, but we are a working -community, not a show. In our structures, like the Pennsylvania Station, -is the sublimity of hope and promise, not the sublimity of death and -decay." - -My friends looked at me with surprise. They had heard only the lyrical -chorus of their countrymen accompanied by the jingle of francs. - -"You're right," said the lumber king. "I thought that I'd try to live -here a few years because I can't find enough playmates in America; every -one is busy there. So I thought I'd come over here and study and fool -around. It's done me good." - -"Fooling around is better than nothing if done with energy and vigor," -I suggested. "A capable fool-arounder isn't worth much, but he can keep -his liver busy. Here they have professional fool-arounders with gold -letters on their caps to set the pace. It's all right for a while, but -you'll want to get back to the lumber business." - -"Maybe you're right, but Europe has done me a lot o' good," said Mr. -Pike. "The cure up at Kissingen fixed my stomach trouble. Cost like Sam -Hill, but it knocked it out." - -"What was the cure?" I asked. - -"Made me walk _ten_ miles a day, and take baths and give up pastry, and -go to bed at nine." - -"And you had to travel four thousand miles and give up a lot of good -American money to learn that?" I asked. "Old Doctor Common Sense, -assisted by a little will-power, would have done that for you without -charge right in your own home. Is it possible that the old doctor has -gone out of business in Prairie du Chien?" - -"He died long ago," said the lumber king. "We have to be led to water -like a horse these days." - -"We follow Cook in the trails of Baedeker instead of following the hired -man, and we value everything according to its cost," I answered. "But -it's good for the Yankee to travel in a pieless world." - -"Travel is such a wonderful thing!" exclaimed Mrs. Fraley, who preferred -to paddle in the heavenly gush-ways. "Don't you _love_ Italy?" - -I took off my mental shoes and stockings and began to paddle with her. - -"Grand country!" I splashed. - -Then she lay down in the stream and got wet all over as follows: - -"It's so wonderful! I love the churches and their music, and mosaics and -statues, and the palaces and the nobility," Mrs. Fraley chanted. "These -well-bred Italians look so aristocratic!" - -"And they act so aristocratic--nothing to do but eat and drink and sleep -and dance and get married!" was my answer. "We're rather careless about -those things in America. A real aristocrat always gets married very -carefully and so rescues himself from the curse of toil if need be. We -don't take any pains with our marrying. We marry in the most offhand, -reckless fashion just to gratify our emotions." - -"We forget that a dollar married is better than two dollars earned," -said Betsey. - -"And isn't soiled by perspiration," I said. "In this room are some of -the shrewdest marryers in the world--men who by careful attention to -the business have amassed fortunes. Here, too, are some of the most -promising young marryers in Italy. They are sure to make their mark." - -"Indeed! You must tell me of them," said the good soul. - -"I shall tell you of one only--not now but before I leave you," I -answered. - -There was a high, moral purpose back of this remark, but it seemed to -get me into trouble, for I had no sooner finished it than the frog gave -a swift leap, broke his halter, and landed on me. I suppose that he -was an Italian frog. Possibly he had only slipped his halter--I never -learned the precise facts. Anyhow, he had got on the edge of the bowl -unobserved, and picked out a partner. He could not have chosen a worse -place to land, for he struck my shirt with a noisy thud just under my -necktie, and bounded into a dish of French dressing and out of it. I saw -him bracing, and was about to seize him when he fetched a leap that took -him over the head of the lumber king. The frog landed with a wet thump -on the bare back of the sockless princess--who sat close behind Mr. -Pike--and tumbled into her train. He was not much of a bareback-rider, -that's a sure thing. The princess gave a rebel yell and jumped to her -feet and in honest Wisconsin English wanted to know what in God's name -it was. The frog had got his toe-nails caught in some lace, and was -captured by a waiter. Ladies who had not spoken the American language in -years used it freely. - -The princess left the room with her friends and a quantity of French -dressing on her back. The diplomat looked at me and smiled and said: - -"The princess is in hard luck, and I can't help speaking of it. If a -meteor should fall into Italy it would land on the princess. Her husband -gets drunk now and then and beats her up. I believe that he has worn -out several canes on her person. I saw her once when she had been beaten -black and blue. She decided then to leave him." - -"But didn't?" I asked. - -"No; her husband made love to her again, and she couldn't resist him. -He's a great love-maker. Two or three times she has been on the point of -going back to her people, but hasn't. Poor thing! She's too proud to go -home and acknowledge the truth--that she has been a fool and her husband -a brute." - -I was now pretty well prepared for my next talk with Mrs. Norris. - -We left the dining-room, and I took Mrs. Fraley to a seat in the -corridor and told her of the knight-like temperament of the young Count -Carola, and of his high rank as a discoverer of wealth and beauty. - -She showed no surprise, but said: "We had heard that he was engaged to -Miss Norris, but the count says that the report is untrue. He has -not really asked my niece to marry him yet, but he calls her the most -beautiful woman he ever saw. Do you blame him?" - -"Not a bit, although your niece is the second girl to whom he has -awarded the first premium within three days. There may be others, but -that is going some." - -All this had no effect on the armor-clad, brain-proof lady to whom it -was addressed. - -"It's his natural chivalry," she said, as I rose to go. - -"And discovering the most beautiful woman in the world is his daily -habit," was my answer; and we bade each other good night. - -When Betsey and I were going home she gave me an account of her talk -with Mrs. Rantone. The young woman's father had been a successful -Minnesota grocer. The family came to Italy on a Cook's tour. The young -man fell in love with the grocer's daughter, and they met him everywhere -they went. He followed them to Minnesota, and the two were married -there. Mrs. Rantone had said that he was a fine man and an excellent -doctor, but that his friends would have nothing to do with her because -she was the daughter of a tradesman of moderate means. They had supposed -that every American who traveled abroad was rich, as indeed such -travelers ought to be. After living nearly eight years in Rome she -had only three Italian friends. She naturally felt that she was a -dead weight on the shoulders of her husband; that she could contribute -nothing to his success and she was most unhappy. - -"Are your parents still living in Minnesota?" Betsey asked. - -"They're all alone in the old home," said the poor expatriate. - -"They must miss you terribly." - -"Well, why did they bring me here?" was her pathetic answer. - -I could see that Betsey was recovering from the fascinations of the -marriage market. - -"The 'devil-_op_-ments' of this night should have some effect on the -price of Romeos," I remarked. - -"And the insanity of Juliets," said Betsey. "I'm going to spring this on -Gwen and her mother. But they won't believe it." - -When we arrived at our hotel its porter gave me a note from Norris which -said: - -"Please come to my room on receipt of this." - - - - -XII.--IN WHICH NORRIS TAKES HIS LIGHT FROM UNDER THE BUSHEL - - I FOUND Norris in bed, propped up with pillows and looking very pale. -His mother and nurse were with him; the ladies had gone out to dinner -with Forbes and would spend an hour or so at the ball. - -"I had a bad turn at ten o'clock," said Norris, "but the doctor came -and patched me up, and has gone out for a walk. Mother, will you and the -nurse go into the other room until I call you? I want to talk with Mr. -Potter." - -Mrs. Norris, the elder, was a slim, tender little woman, with a flavor -of the old-time Yankee folks in her customs and conversation. When she -was not doing something for her "boy," as she called him, I often found -her sitting in her rocking-chair by the window with her fancy-work or -her Bible. Once when I sat waiting to see Norris, while he was napping, -she sang "The Old, Old Story" in a low voice as she rocked. - -Before leaving the room that night, when I had been summoned to his -bedside, she went to his bed and leaned over him and looked thoughtfully -into his face. Then she gently touched it with her hand. - -"How is my boy feeling now?" she asked. - -"Oh, I'm better, mother," he answered, cheerfully. - -"You look more and more like your father," she said, standing by the -bed, with her hands on her hips, reluctant to leave him. - -"I wish I were as good a man as my father," said Norris. - -"Your father! He is one of the saints of heaven," she answered. - -Then she turned away and went through the door which the nurse had left -open in her departure. - -"I am glad that you heard her say that," said Norris. "It will help -you to understand my father. I remember hearing a man say once that my -father would go to Hades for a friend. Of course that overdrew it, but -he was a most generous man, and what a woman my mother is! I often wake -in the night and find her looking down at me, and she's up at daylight -every morning. Wherever she is there's a home--something not made with -hands, and it is very dear to me." - -"The old, old sort--there's not many of them left," I said. - -"Now, for the new sort," he whispered, as he drew a letter from his -breast pocket and passed it to me. - -It was from the young Count Carola, and I was not in the least surprised -by this message in English which, with all its impurity, was better than -the count knew: - -It has become possible for me to render you a service, and I am glad to -do the same, knowing that you are one of nature's noblemen. As you know, -my income is not large, and I sometimes write articles for a newspaper -here in Rome and for another in Naples, being fond of literature and -politics. To-day a man asked me to read a story which they had and -translate it into the Italian language. I found that it was an account -of your career and told of things which, if they were published, would -injure you and your family. I could not believe them, knowing, as I do, -that you are the soul of honor. I told the man that it was false, and -that he had better not publish it. After some arguments he gave up all -idea of publishing the story, and gave it over to me. I was glad to do -what I did, because I love you and the dear madame and your beautiful -daughter, Miss Gwendolyn. - -It would not be consistent with the honesty of a gentleman of my -standing to take anything from a friend for such a favor, and I ask you -to offer me no reward but your friendship. So please do not think of it -again. But may I not hope that you will let me try to win your heart. -Mine is an ancient name and family, and every member of it has lived -honest to this day. I would like to go to America and go to work in -some business. I am tired of living idle and would be thankful for your -advice. I am also very much worried, and I speak of it with regrets. I -hear that Mrs. Norris is favorable to the Count Raspagnetti. You would -not, I am sure, permission your daughter to marry him without securing -information about his character, which you can accomplish it so easily -here in Rome. - -I made light of the whole matter to save him worry, but what I saw in it -was a conspiracy between Muggs and the count; Muggs had dictated most -of the letter. The thumb-print of Muggs was unmistakable. "Nature's -nobleman," "the soul of honor," "a gentleman of my standing," "lived -honest!" Who but the nugiferous Muggs, with his cheap, learned-by-rote -polish, would express himself in that fashion? Any one who had known -Muggs for an hour would see his hand in this letter. There were his -stock phrases and that peculiar adverbial weakness of his. Who but Muggs -could have written that sentence calculated to answer Norris's chief -objection to such a man--idleness? He had delivered the whip into the -hands of the count, but was holding the reins. The business part of the -thing being over, Muggs had let him finish the letter in his own way. - -"Who is the Count Raspagnetti?" Norris asked. - -"I do not know him." - -"A new candidate of whom I have not heard!" - -"And another discoverer of wealth and beauty," I said. "Refer him to me. -Above all, don't have any communication with the slim count." - -"Potter, you are a great friend," he said. "What the Count Carola wants -is to marry my daughter, and I shall not submit to it." His anger had -risen as he spoke. He whispered his determination with a clenched fist. - -"At last we have come to a parting of the ways," he went on. "I don't -know how I shall do it, but I'm going to confess my sins. We'll get the -family together, and I'll lay my heart bare. It's the only thing to do. -It will be hard on Gwendolyn, but not so hard as marrying a reprobate. -It will be hard on my wife, but there are things worse than disgrace." - -"I welcome you back to happiness and sanity," I said, giving him my -hand. - -"Do you think I have been crazy?" - -"Well, you haven't been right in your head on this subject, not quite -sane about it. You have reminded me of a woman I knew who threw her cat -out of a second-story window. The cat with open claws landed on top of -a bald-headed gentleman. Then she tumbled down a flight of stairs and -broke a clavicle and the nose of a man who was coming up. And what do -you think it was all about?" - -He smiled as he looked up at me and shook his head. - -"Nothing," I said. "She thought the house was afire when it wasn't. -If you stand up to this thing like a man you'll be surprised by what -happens and by the immensity of your former folly. Women are not -playthings. They are built to carry trouble. A good woman can walk off, -like a pack-horse, with a burden of trouble. You haven't been fair to -your women. You have treated them as if they were too good to be human. -It's a gross injustice." - -"Call my mother," said Norris, "and then go down and meet Gwendolyn -and Mary and bring them here. I'm going to make an end of this thing -to-night." - -"Please remember this--don't get excited, keep cool, and take it easy. -I'll stand by you." - -"Oh, I'm quite calm now that my mind is made up," said he. "If it kills -me I couldn't die in a better cause." - -I called his mother and went below stairs. As I waited I thought of the -new plan of Muggs. The count's letter clearly intimated that Norris -must be his friend or he would publish the facts. If he could force a -marriage he would share the financial end in some manner with Muggs. A -little after one o'clock the ladies arrived with Richard Forbes. I took -charge of Gwendolyn and her mother, and the boy bade us good night. - -We sat down together for a moment. - -"We had a wonderful time," said Gwendolyn. "All the aristocracy of Rome -was there." - -"Including the wonderful Count Raspagnetti," her mother added. "The -young Count Carola stood near as we got into our car. He is the most -pathetic thing!" - -"We must have nothing more to say to him," I said. "He has discovered -another most beautiful woman in the world in Miss Muriel Fraley, of -Terre Haute. He is one of the greatest beauty-finders that I have ever -seen. But we must have nothing more to say to him. He has resorted to -blackmail to achieve his purpose." - -"What do you mean?" asked Mrs. Norris. Before I could answer she -suddenly opened her heart to me. - -"So many things have happened and are happening which I cannot -understand," said she. "My husband has never taken me into his -confidence. I have long known that he was troubled about something. It -has always seemed to annoy him if I rapped ever so softly on the door -of his mystery. Now I do not dare to come near it for fear of making him -worse. You seem to know the man Wilton. Who is he? Why does he turn up -in Italy? I detest him, and I am sure that my husband does also." - -"Mr. Norris has had business relations with him, but they are now at an -end," I answered. - -"So I had hoped," said she. "But he called here to see my husband -yesterday. Of course he didn't succeed. The nurse gave Mr. Norris the -card, and his symptoms changed suddenly and were alarming. I am terribly -worried and nervous. I love my husband, and I've felt often that I -haven't been a good wife to him, but he would not let me." - -Her eyes had filled with tears. - -"Your unhappiness will end this night. Come with me to Whitfield's room. -He has something to tell you. He asked me to meet you here." - -"How strange!" said Mrs. Norris, as she rose with a frightened look. - -I led the way, and we proceeded in silence to the room where Norris lay. -His mother sat beside him on the bed. - -"Mary and Gwendolyn, come here," he said. - -He took a hand of each in his as they stood by his bedside. - -"Potter, I want you to stay with us and hear what I have to say," he -called to me. - -A little moment of silence followed in which his spirit seemed to be -breaking its fetters. - -"Mary, I have sinned against you," he said. "It was your right to know -long since what I have now to tell you. But I was a coward. I loved you -and feared to lose your love, and so I kept you from knowing the truth -about me. Then came Gwendolyn, and the lovelier she grew the more -cowardly I became. I hadn't the heart to tell either of you what I now -must tell, that I went to prison long ago for a crime. It was not a very -bad crime, but bad enough to disgrace you." - -In a flash the thought came to me that he was not going to tell the -whole' truth; he would protect his father's good name. - -Mrs. Norris put her arm about her husband's neck and kissed him -tenderly. "My love," said she, "I knew all that years ago, but for fear -of hurting you I've never spoken of it. Long, long ago I knew all about -your trouble." - -His mother rose from the bed where she had been calmly sitting with -bowed head and tearful eyes. - -"Not all," said she. "You do not know that he took my husband's sin upon -him, and that all these years he has been suffering in silence for the -sake of another. I am sure there is no greater saint in heaven than this -man." - -"Oh, Whitfield! Why didn't you let me help you?" said his wife, as she -sank to her knees beside him. - -The scene had suddenly become too sacred for any words of mine. - -Not one of us spoke for a while, but there was something above all words -in the silence. It was feebly expressed at length in these of Norris, -and I like to recall them when I begin to feel a bit cynical: - -"I'm no saint. I'm just an average American businessman--very human, -very foolish! But there are many who would do more than I have done for -the love of a friend. My father was such a man." - -Gwendolyn came and kissed me when I bade them good night, and I drew her -aside and said to her: - -"With such men in America why are we looking for counts in Italy?" - -She made no answer, but I understood the little squeeze of gratitude -which my hand felt. - - - - -XIII.--IN WHICH I FIGHT A DUEL WITH ONE OF THE OLDEST WEAPONS IN THE -WORLD - - NEXT morning a note came to Betsey from Mrs. Norris saying that she and -Gwendolyn had decided to spend the whole day at home with their patient, -and would, therefore, be unable to ride out as they had planned to do. -She inclosed another letter of dog-like servility from the slim count -and asked me to see what I could do to suppress him. In this letter he -referred to me as a vulgar fellow who had disregarded his challenge. -This she did not understand, and rightly thought that I would know what -he meant. - -So I was reminded that the pitchforks and the time to use them had -arrived. I informed De Langueville of the fact. He invited me to call -at his studio at noon, and added that he hoped it would be convenient -to bring the forks with me. I sent Betsey out shopping and 'phoned for -Richard, and when he came to my room I met him with one of those weapons -in my hands. - -"I am ready for the stern arbitrament of the pitchfork," I said. "Will -you come with me?" - -"Certainly," said he. - -"Come on," I said, as I started with one of the forks in my hands. "I'm -going to get through with my haying to-day if possible." - -"Hadn't we better send the forks by messenger?" said Richard. - -"No, I'd rather carry them myself," I answered. "I don't want them to be -delayed or lost in transit." - -"They are not so elegant as swords or guns," he said, as he took one of -the forks. - -"They are more reputable," I assured him. - -We made our way into the crowded street and soon entered a drug shop to -buy some first-aid materials, and deposited our forks in a corner near -a small boy who sat on a stool devouring primes. He soon discovered a -better use for his prunes and amused himself by-impaling them on the -fork tines. When we were ready to go we gathered the fruit and gave it -back to the boy. - -I never had so much fun with a pitchfork in all my life. In fact, I -can think of no more promising field for the pitchfork than the city -of Rome. It is an exciting tool, and as an inspirer of reminiscence the -fork is even mightier than the sword or the pen. Mine rose above me -like a lightning-rod, and currents of thought began to play around the -burnished tines. I never dreamed that there were so many ex-farmers of -our own land in Italy. A number of them stopped us to indulge in stories -of the hay-field. We might have learned of many a busy and exciting day -on "the old farm," but time pressed and we sprang into a cab and soon -entered the studio of the sculptor with the forks in our hands. - -"Here we are," I said, as De Langueville opened the door. - -To my painful surprise, the young count was there. He was looking at -a sword when we caught sight of him. He sheathed and laid it down on a -table and joined the sculptor, who had begun to examine the forks. The -end of each tine excited their interest. De Langueville felt them, and -then there was a little dialogue in Italian between him and his friend -which was not wholly lost upon me. - -"They use it to fight Indians," said the sculptor. - -"They are poisoned," said the count, as his eye detected some stains on -the steel which had been made by the prime-juice. - -"I think so," the other answered, and then, addressing me in English, he -asked: - -"Will you kindly name the day and hour?" - -"Here and now," was my answer. - -Another dialogue in Italian followed, and then De Langueville said to -me: - -"It is impossible. The count requests for more time." - -"I have no more time to waste on this little matter," I said. "If he -wishes to call it off--" But he didn't--no such luck for me! I had -talked too much. The count had taken exception to the words "call it -off." They must have sounded highly insulting, for he flew mad, as they -say in Connecticut, and stepped forward with a fine flourish and seized -one of the forks. "Call it off" was apparently the one thing which the -count could not stand, and I had meant to be careful. His rich Italian -blood mounted to his face. I began to like him better. - -"I will fight you here and at present if my friend the baron will give -to us the permission," he declared. - -"One moment," said the baron, as he hurried away. - -We sat in silence for five minutes or so when he returned with a -surgeon. - -I could not run now, and there were no trees to climb, although there -was an heroic figure of the New Italy with a kind of staging that rose -to her chin. There was also a long alley that was lined with busts and -statues. - -"It looks as if we are in for it," Forbes whispered. - -"I'm ready," I assured him. "A man who talks as much as I do ought to be -willing to fight, especially when there's no chance to run. I enjoy life -and safety as much as any one, but you can carry it too far." - -Forbes turned away and conferred with the sculptor, and placed us about -fifteen feet apart. - -"I will count three, and at the last number you will approach together -and fight," said De Langueville. - -The young count had no lack of courage, for I have since learned that -he regarded me as a kind of human cobra with poisoned fangs more than a -foot long. He was rather pale when we stood face to face. - -I am a man a little past fifty, and not so quick as when I was a boy, no -doubt, but I have always kept myself in good shape--tramped and chopped -wood and hoed beans enough to feed Boston for a month of Saturdays; so I -think that I am as strong as ever. I had no sanguinary designs upon the -count; I chiefly harbored preservative designs upon myself. I had got -into this trouble in a good cause, and my white feathers were carefully -dyed. Of course I couldn't acknowledge that a count was better than a -mister. - -So I faced the blue-blooded warrior as if he were a cock in a field -of good timothy, with rain-clouds in the sky. We stood with our forks -raised, and the six tines rang upon one another as soon as the word was -given. He was overwrought by his fear of poison, I suppose, and had not -the power of arm and shoulder that I had. We shoved and twisted, and -then he broke away and came on with little stabs at the air. Suddenly -I caught his tines in mine and wrenched the fork from his hands. Forbes -has said that I looked savage, and I believe him, for I was getting hot. - -[Illustration: 0193] - -"First blood!" I shouted, as I rushed toward him, intending to pick up -his fork and put it back in his hands. But he did not stop to learn my -intentions. "First blood!" meant murder to him. I had taken but a step -in his direction when he was in full flight. I didn't blame him a bit. I -would have fled; any one would have fled. That yell and the prune-juice -did it. - -"Hold on!" I shouted, with a fork in each hand, as I chased him a -hundred feet or more down a long aisle lined with the busts of grocers, -butchers, brokers, and lumber kings. The words "Hold on!" must have -sounded nasty, for he put on more steam. I did not mean to hurt him; I -only wished to take his hand and congratulate him on his speed. But I -couldn't go fast enough. Before I was half down the aisle he had got -to the end of it and jumped over the high shelf between the marble -presentments of the missing actress and the Michigan lumber dealer. I -knew better than to laugh--it was ill-bred--but I could not help it. Now -I could hear the feet of the count hurrying toward me. I ought to have -kept still. - -"We cannot fight with such weapons," said the baron; "it is barbarous." - -"If you will fight me with the sword I shall prove to you my grand -courage," said the young count, as he emerged, panting, from behind a -group of statues. - -"I need no further proof of your courage," I said, gently. "You act -brave enough to suit me." - -"Try me with the sword," he urged. "You are one coward; you are one -coward. You have attacka me when the weapon was not in my hand." - -Richard came forward coolly and put his hand on the count's arm. - -"You are wrong, and you ought to apologize," he said, firmly. - -The count turned upon him with a polite bow, and said: - -"Perhaps you will give me the satisfaction." - -"If you like, I'll take it up for him," said Forbes, with admirable -coolness. "He is older than you, and not accustomed to the sword." - -"Look here--I won't let you fight for me," I said. "These fellows are -used to the sword and pistol. They have nothing else to do and are -looking for a sure thing. Fight him with your fists--if he's bound to -fight again." - -"Him! That would be too sure a thing, I'm afraid," said Richard. "I've -practised this game of fencing at college and the Fencers' Club. I'm not -afraid of the count." - -I had observed that a number of swords had been lying on a table near -us. Before Richard's remark was finished the count had picked up one of -them and said to my friend: - -"Come--you are not fearful--like a lady. Give me one chance." - -Before anything more could be done or said the young men were at it, -and, to my great relief, I saw that Forbes was able to take care of -himself. The count was a clever swordsman, but my friend was stronger -and just as quick. - -It is about the prettiest survival of feudal times, this bloody game of -the sword. - -I observed that the clock in the studio indicated the moment of 12.18 -when the contest began. It lasted for an hour or more, as I thought, -when it ended with blood-flowing from the sword-arm of the count at -12.21. The count was satisfied and breathing heavily. Forbes was fresh -and strong. - -"It is enough," the slim count shouted, and the battle was over. - -"You play with the sword so skilful," the latter panted, as De -Langueville and the surgeon began to dress his wound. - -"All you need is a pair of lungs," said Forbes. "The pair you have may -do for sucking cigarettes, but not for fighting." - -"And I politely request that you do not use them again in making love to -Miss Norris," I said. "Hereafter I shall carry a fork with me, and any -man who follows us again will get it run into him. But now that you know -that they do not want to graft you on their family tree you will, of -course, annoy them no more. I expect you're a much better fellow than -you seem to be." - -"And they will permission her to marry Raspagnetti?" he demanded. - -"Why not?" was my query. - -"Well, he has been married already and has amuse himself by dragging his -wife around his palace by the hairs of her head." - -"It's a bad fashion," I said; "it wears out the carpets." - -He looked puzzled. - -"But it's an ancient diversion of the Romans," I went on, remembering -that panel in one of the galleries which portrayed the extraction of -the whiskers of a captive who was tied hand and foot--one of the basest -amusements I can think of. - -As we talked the surgeon was at work on the arm of the young man. - -"Let's go and get a bite to eat," Richard proposed, and we made our -escape. - -While we were eating he said: - -"Don't say anything of my part in this little scrap. I'm ashamed of it. -To draw blood from him is like taking candy from a child." At the hotel -Richard found a cable that summoned him to New York. Late that afternoon -Gwendolyn and her mother and Betsey went with him to the station where -he took a train for the north. I bade the boy good-by and said as I did -so: - -"Leave the case in my hands again." - -"It's hopeless!" said he. - -"Not exactly!" I answered. - -"She has turned me down." - -"Turned you down?" - -"Yes, I had a talk with her last evening." - -"You'll have to try it again some other evening," I said. - -"She doesn't want to marry any one. That's about the way she puts -it--but more politely. I told her that if she didn't want to be proposed -to again she'd better avoid me. I expect to convince her that she's -wrong." - -He left me, and I went to see Norris, who had sent word that he wished -to talk with me. - - - - -XIV.--MISS GWENDOLYN DEFINES HER POSITION - - I FOUND Norris looking better, and it's a sure thing that I was looking -worse. I felt weary--the natural reaction of all that deviltry! Exercise -with the pitchfork is all right under proper circumstances, but a man -near fifty years of age should use more care than I had done in the -choice of circumstances. - -"What's the matter?" was the query of Norris. - -"Been fightin'," I said, remembering how I had answered a similar -question of my father one day when I returned from school with a black -eye and my trousers torn. "They kep' pickin' on me." - -Then I told him the story of my quarrel with the slim count and its -climax. But I said nothing of Forbes's part in the matter. We laughed so -loudly that the nurse entered in a panic to see what was the matter. - -"Nothing's the matter except good health," I said. "We're both twenty -years younger than we were a short time ago, and if you know any remedy -for that go and throw it out of the window." - -She retired from the scene, and we went on with our talk. - -"You're about the most versatile lawyer that I ever knew," said he. -"Such devotion I did not deserve or expect. If there's any more fighting -to be done we'll hire a boy. For what you have done I say 'Thanks,' and -you know what I mean by that. Gosh t' Almighty! I'm going to get out of -bed, and we'll have some fun." - -"I'm beginning to long for the old sod!" I remarked. - -"So'm I. Let's go south for a little while and then home. It looks as if -we should have to take a count with us as a souvenir." - -"The Raspagnetti?" I asked. - -"The same," said he. "Read that." - -He drew from under his pillow a letter from the Count Raspagnetti, which -said: - -_I am sorry that you are sick, for I desire so much to talk with you and -tell you, I should say, how profoundly I am in love with your beautiful -and accomplished daughter. The esteemed Monsignor who bears this note, -and who is my friend and yours also, can tell you that I am worthy of -your confidence, although unworthy, so to speak, of such an adorable -creature as Miss Gwendolyn. But I feel in my heart that I cannot be -happy without her. I assure you that I would rather die than find it -impossible to make her my wife. So I hope that you will let me see you -soon, if your health should cherish the endurance, and permit me to -speak of such things to her._ - -I had scarcely finished reading it when Norris said: - -"The Monsignor, whom I had met in New York, and who is one of the most -courtly gentlemen you can imagine, came to see me this morning and -recommended the count without reserve as one of the first gentlemen of -Italy. I guess he's all right, and I agree with my wife that we will put -it up to Gwendolyn and let her do as she likes. If she must have a title -I presume she couldn't do better." - -I was about to suggest that she would need a special allowance for -hair-restorer, but restrained myself. I thought that I wouldn't say -anything disagreeable unless it should be necessary and also susceptible -of proof. - -"What does Gwendolyn think of him?" I asked. - -"I haven't said a word to Gwendolyn about him--yet. I'll have a talk -with her tomorrow or perhaps to-night. When I awoke this morning about -two o'clock Gwendolyn and her mother were standing by the bed. The girl -has taken the notion that she must do the nursing herself. I haven't -been fair to them. I guess it's up to me to let them do the marrying. -Mrs. Norris seems to like this man, and if Gwendolyn wants him I -shall fall in line. I'm not going to be a Czar even in the interest of -democracy." - -"It's the wisest possible course," I agreed. - -"I wish that you'd post yourself about the sailings," said he, as I left -him. - -I broke a Roman record that evening--went to bed at eight. In Rome the -day doesn't really begin until about that hour. At two o'clock people -are coming out of the cafés, and the blood of Italy is in full song. -Betsey complained that I yelled in my sleep, and I believed her. - -The voice of the nightingales awoke me just before daylight. What a -mellow-voiced chorus it is! A man has got to search his memory if he's -going to try to describe it. The softest tones of the flute are in that -song. It has an easy-flowing conversational lilt. It's a kind of -swift, tumbling brook of flute music. As the light grew a noisy band of -sparrows came on the scene. For a little while the soft phrases of -the nightingales were woven into the sparrows' chatter. They ceased -suddenly. I rose and dressed and went down into the little park outside -my windows just as the sun's light began to show in the sky. In a moment -I saw a young lady approaching in one of the garden paths. - -She waved to me and called, "Hello, Uncle Soc!" - -It was Gwendolyn. - -"Child! Why are you not in bed?" I asked. - -"I've worked at idleness so long and so hard that I'm taking a little -vacation," said she. "I sat all night with father. He couldn't sleep, -and we talked and talked, and then I read to him and he fell asleep half -an hour ago, and I came down for a breath of the morning air." - -"Don't get reckless with your holiday--all night is a rather long pull," -I suggested. - -"I enjoyed every minute. You see, I've never had a chance to do anything -for him. My father has always been so busy, and I away in school or -traveling with my mother or Mrs. Mushtop. I was never quite so happy as -I am now." - -"There's nothing so restful as honest toil," I said. "The fact is you've -been overworking in the past--struggling with luncheons, teas, dinners, -dressmakers, and dances, and getting through at midnight. It's too much -for any human being. If you could only go to work in a laundry or a -kitchen or a sick-room, how restful and soothing it would be!" - -"I understand you now, Uncle Soc," said she. "We must see that it pays. -Last night I was so well paid for my work! I discovered my father. The -night passed like magic and filled me with happiness. To-day life is -worth living. He told me of his boyhood, and I told him of my girlhood -and that I wanted to make it different. - -"'You must let me do the nursing,' I said. "'Why?' he asked. - -"'Because I love you,' I told him, and what do you think he said?" - -"My thinker got overheated and blew up the other day, and is undergoing -repairs," I answered. "So you'll have to tell me." - -"I shall remember it so long as I live," she went on, with tears in -her eyes, "for he said, 'I've found a daughter, and it's the best thing -that's happened to me since I found a wife.'" - -"My, what a night! You found the greatest luxury in the world, which is -work," I said. "Don't go to dissipating like a child with a can of jelly -and make yourself sick of it. Go easy. Be temperate." - -"Uncle Soc, you dear old thing!" she exclaimed. "I'm beginning to know -you better, too. I want you to tell me something. Father said that we -should be going home soon. Now, _what_ can I take to Richard? It must be -something very, very nice--something that he will be sure to like." - -"Why take anything to Richard?" I asked. "I refuse to tell you why," -she answered. "But please remember that I have not the slightest hope of -every marrying Richard." - -"You have lost your heart in Italy," I said. "But I was kind o' hoping -that you'd recover it." - -"I know that you and father have been worried about that, but you didn't -know me so well as you thought. I had heard much about these Italians, -and they are handsome men, and the Count Raspagnetti is a very grand -gentleman. I have been impressed, for I am as human as other girls, but -I cannot marry the count, and if he asks me I shall tell him so; and -I can do it with a clear conscience, for _I_ have given him no -encouragement." - -I made no answer, being unhorsed by this unexpected turn. - -"I do not propose to marry any one, and if you will think for a moment -you will know why." - -In a flash her meaning came to me. She'd have to tell her father's -secret to the man she married, and that she would never do. Again that -old skeleton in the family closet was grinning at us. - -"Gwendolyn, my thinker has been worn out by overwork here in Italy or it -would not have been asleep at its post," I said. "I take off my hat to -you and keep it off as long as you're near me. Jiminy Christmas! I like -the stuff you're made of, but look here--the case isn't hopeless. I'll -show you a way out of this trouble some day. Come on, let's go in and -have some breakfast. I'm hungry as a bear." - -"No, thanks! I must go back to my patient," said the girl. "I never eat -any breakfast." - -"The breakfast habit is purely American. You'll acquire it by and by," -I assured her. "Wait until you get a settled liking for long days and -short nights." - -She left me, and I thought that I would take a little walk under the -trees before going in. I had not gone a dozen paces when Muggs came -along. He was looking pale and thin and rather untidy. - -"I knew that you were an early riser," said he. "I came to find you if I -could." - -He must have seen a look of anger in my face, for he went on: - -"Don't be hard on me. I've come to bring you that two hundred dollars, -with fifty added for the hat and coat." - -He gave me a check, and it nearly knocked me down with astonishment. -"What cunning ruse is this?" I asked myself, and said: "You're not -looking well." - -"I can't eat or sleep," he continued. "I've been walking the streets -since midnight. There's something I wanted to say, but I'm not up to it -now. I'll try to see you again within a day or two." - -He bade me good morning and went on, and I was puzzled by the serious -look in his face. - - - - -XV.---SOMETHING HAPPENS TO THE MAN MUGGS - - SOME people are so careless with their affections that they even forget -where they laid 'em the day before, and often go about sputtering like -an old gentleman who has lost his spectacles. My grandfather was once so -mad at a table on which he had found them lying, unexpectedly, that -he seized a poker and put a dent in it. He was like many modern -lovers--divorced and otherwise. They should remember that misplaced -affection has made more trouble than anything else. - -Mrs. Mullet had been a bit careless with her affections, and especially -in taking Mr. Pike's recommendation of Colonel Wilton. What could have -been the motive of Mr. Pike? - -Mrs. Mullet called to see us next morning. - -"Something very strange has happened," said she. - -"If you were to tell me something that wasn't strange I wouldn't believe -it," I answered. "Go ahead; you can't astonish me." - -"Please read this letter," she requested, as she drew a sheet of paper -from an envelope and put it into my hands and added, "It's from Colonel -Wilton." - -"From Wilton!" I exclaimed, and began reading aloud the singular human -document. His emotion conferred rank upon her, for he had addressed Mrs. -Mullet in this baronial fashion: - -_My dear Lady Maude,--I have completed the payments due to date on the -bust and the oil-painting, because I have decided that if I cannot have -you I must have them. I want to live with them, for I believe they will -help me. I tell you the God's truth, I have been a bad man, but I want -to be better and make good to every one I have wronged. I can't do it -for a little while yet, but I'm going to as sure as there's a God in -heaven. I was a fool to write that letter, but I was discouraged. You -are the only woman I ever loved. I take back all that I wrote in that -letter. I won't put any price on you. I can't. You are better than all -the money in the world. I don't blame you a bit for not having anything -more to do with me. You don't know what I have suffered; you can't know, -but I know. I shall never give you a moment's trouble. Don't be afraid -to meet me in the street. I may look at you, but I shall not speak to -you. Don't hate me; but, if you can, ask Jesus Christ to forgive me -and help me to live honest. I don't believe that He wants me to suffer -always like this. Don't hate me, because I love you, and please remember -me as Lysander Wilton._ - -Its script was curious. Every word was written with extreme care, and -some were embellished with little flourishes. I remembered how slowly -and carefully he had formed the letters in that signature in my office. - -There were tears in the eyes of Mrs. Mullet when I folded the letter and -looked into her face. - -"What do you think of it?" she asked. - -"Sounds as if he meant it, but he's an able sounder," I answered. - -"He had a good case and has given up all claim upon her," said Betsey, -in the tone of gentle protest. - -"Oh, well! he wouldn't dare to bring a suit here or in America," I -objected. "She might get the hatchet, but he would get the ax." - -"How would you explain his payments on the bust and the portrait?" -Betsey asked. - -Sure enough, why was he buying the bust and the painting, and how had he -got the money to do it? - -"It looks as if he had gone out of his mind," said Betsey. - -"Nobody could blame him for going out of his mind," was my answer. "If I -had his mind I'd go out of it." - -"Perhaps she has driven him into a new and a better mind," said Betsey. - -"That's possible. There's plenty of room outside his old mental horizon. -If it's honest love I should think he would die of astonishment to find -such goods on himself." - -"Well, you see, he was not very well, and I was a kind of mother to him -here," Mrs. Mullet answered, as she wiped her eyes. "He was kind and -thoughtful and so very handsome. I was really fond of him." - -Mrs. Mullet yielded again to her emotions. She was not a bad sort of a -woman, after all. - -True, she was still afflicted with a light attack of the beauty disease. -But she had a heart in her. She was, too, "a well-fashioned, enticing -creature," as Samuel Pepys would have said. I didn't blame Muggs for -leaping in love with her. It was as natural as for a boy to leap into a -swimming-hole. - -"What shall I do?" she asked, presently. - -"Study art as hard as you can," I said. "Botticelli may help you to -forget Muggs. But don't fail to tell me what happens. I've got to know -how Muggs gets along with his new affliction." - -She agreed to keep me posted, and left us. - -A note came from Mrs. Fraley that afternoon. She wished to see me on a -matter of business, and wouldn't we go and drink tea with them at five? -They were spending the day in the Capitoline Museum, where Muriel was at -work. - -We couldn't drink tea with them, and so Betsey proposed that we walk to -the museum and see what they wanted. We did it. - -Miss Muriel was copying a figure of Socrates on the fragment of a -frieze. The beauty disease had visibly progressed in her--hair a shade -richer, eyes more strongly underscored. Old Socrates was so different, -sitting in conversation and leaning forward on his staff. One bare -foot rested comfortably on the other. They were a good-sized pair of -industrious and reliable feet. He seemed to be addressing his argument -to the young lady who sat before him. The expression of the big toe on -his right foot indicated that it was not wholly unmoved by his words. - -Mrs. Fraley beckoned me aside and whispered: - -"The dear child is making wonderful progress. She is copying that for -one of the New York magazines. Muriel has made a great social success in -Rome. Mrs. Wartz has taken her up, and her name is in the Paris _Herald_ -almost every day." - -In a moment she made an illuminating proposal: - -"I want to borrow fifty thousand dollars on good security--the bonds of -the Great Bend & Lake Michigan Traction Company," she said. "I would pay -you a liberal fee if you would help me." - -"It's a bad time to borrow money," I answered. "Is it a bust or a -painting?" - -"Neither; it's Miss Muriel's marriage portion. The count has proposed, -and I find that he is one of the dearest, noblest young men that ever -lived." - -There was no help for these people. An appeal to their minds was like -shooting into the sky or writing in water. You couldn't land on them. - -"Oh, then it's a husband!" I exclaimed. - -"Yes, and we want to take him home with us." - -"He requires cash down?" - -"I believe it is usual." - -"Are you sure that Muriel could manage him? He's pretty coltish and has -never been halter-broke. He might rare up an' pull away an' run off with -the money." - -"He loves her to distraction, he worships and adores her, and she is -very, very fond of him." - -"You are far from your friends here," I said. "Suppose you ask the count -to call on me and talk it over. It may be that I could arrange easy -terms. Possibly we could even get him on the instalment plan, with a -small payment down." - -"I would not dare suggest it," said Mrs. Fraley. - -"Cable to your banker, and if the bonds are good he ought to be able to -get the money for you." - -"I thought of that, but to save time I hoped that you would be willing -to let me have it." - -"I wouldn't assist you to commit a folly which you are sure to regret," -I answered. "In my opinion he would be dear at ten dollars. It looks to -me like taking over a liability instead of an asset." - -"We didn't ask for your opinion," said Miss Muriel, as she blushed with -indignation. - -"My opinions are as easy to get as counts in Italy," I said. "You -don't have to ask for them. I give you one thing more--my best wishes. -Good-by!" - -With that we left them. Things began to move fast. Norris came down to -dinner, and we all sat together in the dining-room with the new count. -It was the last despairing effort of mama to grasp the persimmon. -She had boosted her daughter within easy reach of said persimmon, but -Gwendolyn refused to pull it down. Her attitude was polite but firm. - -"It doesn't look good to me," she seemed to be saying. - -The count told thrilling tales of royal friends and palaces, and they -all rang like good metal, for this count was a real aristocrat. Still, -"No, thanks" was in the voice and manner of Gwendolyn. He twanged airy -compliments on his little guitar. - -"No, thanks!" - -Gwendolyn gave me a sly wink and suggested that I should tell a story. -I saw what was expected of me and got the floor and kept it. Finally -the count played his best trump. They would be invited to a fête in the -palace of a certain noted prince. - -"No, thanks!" said Gwendolyn, before her mother could answer. "It is -very kind of you, but we shall be so busy getting ready to sail." - -The count took his medicine like a thoroughbred. - -"And you--you must not be astonished to see me in America before much -time, I should say," he answered. - -"What a joy to welcome you there!" Mrs. Norris exclaimed. - -Then followed a little duet in Fifth Avenue and Roman dialect with -monocle and minuet accompaniment by the great artists Norris and -Raspagnetti based on these allegations: - -_First: She was so glad to have had the great pleasure of meeting him._ - -_Second: He was so glad to have had the honor of meeting her and her -daughter._ - -_Third: She was so sorry to say good-by._ - -_Fourth: She was a dear lady, and could never know how much pain it -"afflicted upon him" to say good-by; but fortunately she was not leaving -him hopeless._ - -The climax had passed. - -Gwendolyn got her hand kissed, and so did her mother--there was no -dodging that--but it was our last experience with the hand-smackers of -Italy. - -We had a happy American evening together in the Norris apartments, and -Mrs. Norris seemed to enjoy my imitation of her parting with the count. -The first occurrence of note in the morning was Mrs. Mullet. She -was getting to be a perennial, but she grew a foot that day in our -estimation. She had brought with her a note from Muggs. He was very ill -in his room and begged her to come and see him as a last favor. What -should she do? - -"Let's go and see him--you and I and Mrs. Potter," was my suggestion. -"This has all the ear-marks of a case of true love. My professional -advice has never been sought in a case of that kind; but come on, let's -see what there is to it." - -We went and found Muggs abed, with a high fever. No more nonsense now! -I've got to be decently serious for a few minutes. We were amazed to see -how the sight of Mrs. Mullet affected him, and how tenderly he clung to -her hands, and begged her to forget the man he had been. She turned to -me with wet eyes and said: - -"I cannot leave him like this. I shall send for a nurse and doctor, and -take care of him. He has no friends here." - -"Bully for you!" I said. "If he's out of money I'll help you pay the -bills." - -We went away a little mystified by this behavior on the part of Muggs. - -We were leaving next day for the south, and Mrs. Mullet came to say -good-by to us. "How is your patient?" I asked. - -"He was delirious all night, and dictated letters to me as if I had been -his stenographer. I took them down with a pencil. I have brought two of -them for you to read. I do not understand them; perhaps you will know -what they mean." - -The first was addressed to a man in Mexico, and it said: - -_Dear Mack,--At last my ship has come in, and I am doing what I have -longed to do for many years, and what I have dreamed of doing a thousand -times. I inclose a check for all that I owe you, with interest. Forgive -me. Please forgive me. I didn't know what I was doing. I expected to -return it within a week, but I lost it all. I want you to tell every one -that knows me that I am an honest man._ - -The second letter was to the Honorable Whitfield Norris, and it said: - -_Dear Sir,--At last I am able to do what I have wanted to do for years. -I inclose a check for all the money you have given me, with interest to -date. Please send me a receipt for the same. I always intended to make -good and live honest, and I want you to think well of me, for I think -that you are the greatest man I ever met._ - -All this puzzled me at first, and I went at once with Mrs. Mullet to -Muggs's room. The sick man's fever had abated, and his head was clear. - -"You have been dictating a letter to Norris," I said. - -"What letter?" he asked. - -"Didn't you dictate a letter to Norris last night?" - -"No," he answered, sadly. - -"Have you any money?" I asked. - -"I have made a little money out of an old investment in a copper-mine," -he answered, in a faint voice. "It has begun to pay, and they have sent -me eighteen hundred dollars. There's eleven hundred left. It's in the -Banca d'Italia. In my book you'll find a check for that two hundred -dollars. It's on the bureau there." - -"You gave me that," I said. - -"Did I?" he whispered, and was sound asleep in a few seconds. - -I returned to Mrs. Mullet, full of sober thought. - -"Those letters are the voice of his soul," I said. "It really wants to -pay up and be honest." - -She saw my meaning and wept, and said, as soon as she could speak: - -"Perhaps, in the sight of God, he has already paid his debts." - -"An honorable delirium isn't quite enough," I said, "but it does show -that his soul is acquiring good habits." - -"I'm so happy that you think so," she answered. - -"Yes, I'd rather have him now with all his past than any count I have -seen in Italy. There are all kinds of pasts, but Muggs is ashamed of -his--that's something! Of course it isn't safe to jump at conclusions, -but it looks as if the love of a decent woman had done a good deal for -him." - -I left her with a happy smile on her face, and way down in me I could -hear my soul laughing at the wise old country lawyer who had got Muggs -so securely placed in his rogue's gallery. He had been reading law in a -better book than any on his shelves. I had once smiled when I had read -in one of Mr. Chesterton's essays that "Christianity looks for the -honest man inside the thief." I said to myself that I had never seen the -honest man aforementioned. But here he was at last. I described him to -Betsey. - -"The love of that woman has done it," said she. - -"The love of a good woman is a big thing," I answered, as I put my arm -around her. "Kind o' like the finger o' Jesus touching the eyes o' the -blind--that's the way it looks to me." - -Next day we drove to Naples. Good-by, Rome, city of lovely shapes and -jeweled walls and golden ceilings, graveyard of races and empires, -paradise of saints and industrious marryers! How's that for a -valedictory? Well, you see, I bought a guitar, and it's time I began to -practise. - -Naples is different. It's a kind of theater. There the very poor play -the part of the starving mendicant as soon as they are able to walk; the -cheap tradesman plays the self-sacrificing saint; the fairly well-to-do -man plays the part of a millionaire with his trap and horses on the Via -Roma, and every driver plays the tyrant. The song of the lash, which had -its part in the ancient music of Persia, fills the air of the old city. - -It worried us, and we went to Sicily and spent a month at Taormina--a -place of which I do not dare to speak for fear of dropping into poetry, -and when I drop into poetry I make a good deal of a splash, as you may -have observed, and it takes me a week to get dry. Norris fell in love -with it, and so did the ladies. I wondered how I was going to get them -to move, but not for long. - -Gwendolyn and I, sitting alone in the old Greek theater one lovely -afternoon, had the talk for which I had been watching my chance. - -We sat looking out between the time-worn columns at Ætna and the sea. - -"I'm tired of ancient history!" said she, closing her guide-book. - -"Let's try modern history," I suggested. "If you will let me be -your Baedeker for a minute I should like to point out to you a noble -structure in America which is 'clothed in majestic simplicity.'" - -"What is it?" she asked, eagerly. - -"The character of Richard Forbes," I answered. "There's one fact in his -history of supreme importance to you and me." - -"Only one!" she exclaimed. - -"At least one," I answered. "It is this: for years he has known every -unpleasant fact in the story of your father's life." - -"Uncle Soc," she interrupted, with a look of joy in her face, "is it--is -it really true, or are you just saying it to please me?" - -"It's really true," I said. "When I can't help it I tell the truth. I'm -never reckless or immoderate in the use of it, for there's no sense in -giving it out in chunks so big that they excite suspicion. I'm kind o' -careful with the truth when I tell ye that Richard Forbes is better than -all the statues and paintings and domes and golden ceilings in Italy." - -"Uncle Soc, do you think that you could get rooms for us on the next -steamer," she asked. - -"Oh, what's your hurry?" I demanded. - -She rose and said, with a proud, imperious gesture: - -"Me for the United States!" - -"I've already engaged the rooms, for I knew what would happen after we -had had our talk," I said. - -We were waiting to take our steamer in Naples. The day after we reached -there Mrs. Fraley called to see us. She had read in a Roman newspaper -that we were at Bertolini's, and she had come over to talk with me -"about a dreadful occurrence." She had raised the spondoolix, and Miss -Muriel had achieved the count. They had lived in paradise for three -weeks and four days when the count got mad at Muriel and actually beat -her over the shoulders with his riding-whip. It was all because the -dear child had turkey-trotted with a young Englishman at a ball. She -had meant no harm--poor thing!--all the girls were learning these -new-fangled dances. Mrs. Fraley had naturally objected to the count's -use of the whip, whereupon he had shown her the door and bade her leave -his apartments. So she with the beautiful feet had been compelled to -walk out of the place which her bounty had provided and go back to the -dear old boarding-house. Muriel had followed her. They knew not what to -do. Would I please advise her? - -"You've done the right thing," I said. "Keep away from him. He'll be -using his cane next. The whip is a good thing, but not if it comes too -late in life." - -"But how about my money?" she asked. "I can't afford to lose that." - -"My dear madame, you have already lost it. You may as well charge that -to the educational fund. To some people knowledge comes high. I had a -good reason for advising you against this marriage. In our land every -home is a little republic that plays its part in the larger republics of -the town and the county, and the affairs of each home and the welfare -of its inhabitants are the concern of all. Here every home is a little -independent kingdom. Its master is its king. His will is mostly its law. -When he gets mad his whip or his cane may fall upon the transgressor. -It's the old feudal spirit--the ancient habit of thought and hand. Of -course in most countries wife-beating is forbidden, but generally the -woman knows better than to complain, for she finds that it doesn't pay. -So she cringes and obeys and holds her tongue. In America that sort of -thing doesn't go. If a man tries it, the republic of the town gets hold -of him right away. Really, I'd about as soon have the rights of a goat -as the rights of a woman in Europe. In spite of that she's often well -treated." - -I was interrupted by the porter's clerk, who came with a telegram. It -was from Muriel, and it said: - -_Please tell my aunt to return immediately._ - -_We have made up, and are very, very happy, and we shall both be -delighted to see her._ - -I read it aloud, and she rose and said: - -"I'm so glad. Please pardon me for troubling you again." - -I pardoned her, and she went away, and so another American girl had -begun to toughen her skin and adjust her spirit to the feudal plan. - -The day we sailed a curious thing came to pass in a letter to Norris -from Muggs in the handwriting of Mrs. Mullet. It said: - -_I hope you will be glad to learn that good luck has come to me. I thank -God that I am able to return the last sum of money you gave me, -with interest to date. My check for it is inclosed herewith. An old -investment of mine, long supposed to be worthless, has turned out well. -I have sold a part of my stock in it, and with the rest I hope to square -accounts with you before long. My health is better, and within a week or -so I expect to be married to the noblest woman in the world._ - -The man's dream had come to pass. His check was in the letter, and there -was good money behind it. - -"I congratulate you," I said to Norris when he showed me the letter. -"You've really found an honest man inside a thief." - -"Without your help it would have been impossible," said he. "It's worth -ten years of any man's life to have done it. I suppose there's an honest -man inside every thief if we could only get at him." - -"And no man is as bad as he seems, and, therefore, if you ever feel like -shooting me--don't," was my answer. - -"What luck that she didn't get hold of a count!" Betsey exclaimed. "She -was one of the most willing marryers that ever crossed the sea." - -"But she didn't know how to advertise," I said. "Nobody knew that she -had money. One personal in the London _Mail_ or the Paris _Herald_ would -have crowded the Excelsior Hotel with impoverished noblemen." - -"And yet I would have supposed that the worst of them would have been -better than Muggs." - -"Not I," was my answer. "Both Muggs and the counts have been mere -adventurers--trying to get something for nothing. Muggs knew that he was -doing wrong. His offense was so bad that he couldn't doubt its badness. -But the consciences of the counts never get any exercise. They don't -know that idleness is a crime, that a bought husband is baser than a -poodle-dog. They are absolutely convinced of their own respectability. -For that reason the average thief has a far better chance of being faced -about." - -We sailed. Mrs. Sampf, with a chestful of knockers, and the lumber king, -with his bust and portrait, were among our shipmates. The latter had had -a stroke of hard luck. Two gamblers at his hotel had won his confidence -and taken a hank of his fleece at bridge whist. He had made up his mind -that American playmates were more to his liking, that Grant was greater -than Alexander, and that universal peace was a dream. This he confided -to me one evening as we were lying off Gibraltar in the glare of the -searchlights. - -Brooms of light were sweeping the waters for fear some sneaking nation -would steal in upon them like a thief in the night. - -"These Europeans know better than to trust one another," said I. -"Billions for ships an' forts an' armies, an' every dollar of it -testifies to the fact that not one of these powers can trust another. -'Yes, you're a good talker,' they seem to say, 'but I know you of old. -I'll eat with ye, and drink with ye, and buy with ye, and sell with ye, -but dinged if I'll trust ye!"' - -"They're a lot of scamps over here," was the conclusion of Mr. Pike. - -"And especially unreliable in bridge whist," I said. - -"But I've made money on the trip," said the lumber king. "I bought some -shares in a copper-mine for fifteen thousand dollars, and they're worth -at least ten times that. I happened to know the mine, and he needed the -money." - -"If I were you I'd have the details of that transaction engraved on my -bust and set it up in my bedroom," I said, with a laugh. - -"Why so?" - -"It would give you a chance to get acquainted with yourself." - -"Oh, I was honest with him!" said he. "I told him I'd give him thirty -days to redeem the stock." - -"Was it Wilton?" - -"Yes. Do you know him?" - -"I know him, and if the stock is as good as you say it will be -redeemed." - -And it was, and I began to understand why Pike had been hand in glove -with Wilton. He had been trying to get hold of his property. - -We wept for joy at the sight of our native land--who doesn't?--and -Norris, who looked as strong as ever, said that he longed to get back to -his task. - -Richard met us at the dock, and the young people fell into each other's -arms. - -"Gwendolyn!" Mrs. Norris exclaimed. "Look here," said I. "This pair of -marryers is not to be interfered with any more." Muggs and his new wife -sailed on the _Titanic_, and he met his death on the stricken ship like -a gentleman; but the bride was saved, and came to see us in Pointview -and told us the story of that night. - -The ship was a part of the machinery of the great thought trust, which -has the world in its grip. The power behind her engines was thinking in -terms of dollars and cents--to be gained through the advertisement of a -swift voyage--and down she went in a thousand fathoms of icy water. - -I said to Norris when we were speaking of this tragedy as we sat by his -fireside: - -"The greatest of all commandments is this: 'Thou shalt have no other -Gods before me.'" - -"Neither money nor titles, nor pride nor fear, nor power, nor church nor -state," he added. - -"Amen!" was my answer. - -Then there fell a long silence, and well down in the depths of it is the -end of my story. - -THE END - - - - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Marryers, by Irving Bacheller - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MARRYERS *** - -***** This file should be named 50088-8.txt or 50088-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/0/8/50088/ - -Produced by David Widger from page images generously -provided by the Internet Archive - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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