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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/468-8.txt b/468-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5e65622 --- /dev/null +++ b/468-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6255 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Manon Lescaut, by Abbé Prévost + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Manon Lescaut + +Author: Abbé Prévost + +Posting Date: September 13, 2008 [EBook #468] +Release Date: March, 1996 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANON LESCAUT *** + + + + + + + + + + + + + +MANON LESCAUT + +by + +Abbé Prévost + + + + + +I + + + Why did he love her? Curious fool, be still! + Is human love the fruit of human will? + BYRON. + + +Just about six months before my departure for Spain, I first met the +Chevalier des Grieux. Though I rarely quitted my retreat, still the +interest I felt in my child's welfare induced me occasionally to +undertake short journeys, which, however, I took good care to abridge +as much as possible. + +I was one day returning from Rouen, where I had been, at her request, +to attend a cause then pending before the Parliament of Normandy, +respecting an inheritance to which I had claims derived from my +maternal grandfather. Having taken the road by Evreux, where I slept +the first night, I on the following day, about dinner-time, reached +Passy, a distance of five or six leagues. I was amazed, on entering +this quiet town, to see all the inhabitants in commotion. They were +pouring from their houses in crowds, towards the gate of a small inn, +immediately before which two covered vans were drawn up. Their horses +still in harness, and reeking from fatigue and heat, showed that the +cortege had only just arrived. I stopped for a moment to learn the +cause of the tumult, but could gain little information from the curious +mob as they rushed by, heedless of my enquiries, and hastening +impatiently towards the inn in the utmost confusion. At length an +archer of the civic guard, wearing his bandolier, and carrying a +carbine on his shoulder, appeared at the gate; so, beckoning him +towards me, I begged to know the cause of the uproar. "Nothing, sir," +said he, "but a dozen of the frail sisterhood, that I and my comrades +are conducting to Havre-de-Grace, whence we are to ship them for +America. There are one or two of them pretty enough; and it is that, +apparently, which attracts the curiosity of these good people." + +I should have passed on, satisfied with this explanation, if my +attention had not been arrested by the cries of an old woman, who was +coming out of the inn with her hands clasped, and exclaiming: + +"A downright barbarity!--A scene to excite horror and compassion!" +"What may this mean?" I enquired. "Oh! sir; go into the house +yourself," said the woman, "and see if it is not a sight to rend your +heart!" Curiosity made me dismount; and leaving my horse to the care +of the ostler, I made my way with some difficulty through the crowd, +and did indeed behold a scene sufficiently touching. + +Among the twelve girls, who were chained together by the waist in two +rows, there was one, whose whole air and figure seemed so ill-suited to +her present condition, that under other circumstances I should not have +hesitated to pronounce her a person of high birth. Her excessive +grief, and even the wretchedness of her attire, detracted so little +from her surpassing beauty, that at first sight of her I was inspired +with a mingled feeling of respect and pity. + +She tried, as well as the chain would permit her, to turn herself away, +and hide her face from the rude gaze of the spectators. There was +something so unaffected in the effort she made to escape observation, +that it could but have sprung from natural and innate modesty alone. + +As the six men who escorted the unhappy train were together in the +room, I took the chief one aside and asked for information respecting +this beautiful girl. All that he could supply was of the most vague +kind. "We brought her," he said, "from the Hospital, by order of the +lieutenant-general of police. There is no reason to suppose that she +was shut up there for good conduct. + +"I have questioned her often upon the road; but she persists in +refusing even to answer me. Yet, although I received no orders to make +any distinction between her and the others, I cannot help treating her +differently, for she seems to me somewhat superior to her companions. +Yonder is a young man," continued the archer, "who can tell you, better +than I can, the cause of her misfortunes. He has followed her from +Paris, and has scarcely dried his tears for a single moment. He must +be either her brother or her lover." + +I turned towards the corner of the room, where this young man was +seated. He seemed buried in a profound reverie. Never did I behold a +more affecting picture of grief. He was plainly dressed; but one may +discover at the first glance a man of birth and education. As I +approached him he rose, and there was so refined and noble an +expression in his eyes, in his whole countenance, in his every +movement, that I felt an involuntary impulse to render him any service +in my power. "I am unwilling to intrude upon your sorrows," said I, +taking a seat beside him, "but you will, perhaps, gratify the desire I +feel to learn something about that beautiful girl, who seems little +formed by nature for the miserable condition in which she is placed." + +He answered me candidly, that he could not communicate her history +without making himself known, and that he had urgent reasons for +preserving his own incognito. "I may, however, tell you this much, for +it is no longer a secret to these wretches," he continued, pointing to +the guards,--"that I adore her with a passion so ardent and absorbing +as to render me the most unhappy of human beings. I tried every means +at Paris to effect her liberty. Petitions, artifice, force--all +failed. Go where she may, I have resolved to follow her--to the +extremity of the world. I shall embark with her and cross to America. + +"But think of the brutal inhumanity of these cowardly ruffians," he +added, speaking of the guards; "they will not allow me to approach her! +I had planned an open attack upon them some leagues from Paris; having +secured, as I thought, the aid of four men, who for a considerable sum +hired me their services. The traitors, however, left me to execute my +scheme single-handed, and decamped with my money. The impossibility of +success made me of course abandon the attempt, I then implored of the +guards permission to follow in their train, promising them a +recompense. The love of money procured their consent; but as they +required payment every time I was allowed to speak to her, my purse was +speedily emptied; and now that I am utterly penniless, they are +barbarous enough to repulse me brutally, whenever I make the slightest +attempt to approach her. It is but a moment since, that venturing to +do so, in spite of their threats, one of the fellows raised the +butt-end of his musket. I am now driven by their exactions to dispose +of the miserable horse that has brought me hither, and am preparing to +continue the journey on foot." + +Although he seemed to recite this story tranquilly enough, I observed +the tears start to his eyes as he concluded. This adventure struck me +as being not less singular than it was affecting. "I do not press +you," said I to him, "to make me the confidant of your secrets; but if +I can be of use to you in any way, I gladly tender you my services." +"Alas!" replied he, "I see not the slightest ray of hope. I must +reconcile myself to my destiny in all its rigour. I shall go to +America: there, at least, I may be free to live with her I love. I +have written to a friend, who will send me money to Havre-de-Grace. My +only difficulty is to get so far, and to supply that poor creature," +added he, as he cast a look of sorrow at his mistress, "with some few +comforts upon the way." "Well!" said I to him, "I shall relieve you +from that difficulty. Here is some money, of which I entreat your +acceptance: I am only sorry that I can be of no greater service to you." + +I gave him four louis-d'ors without being perceived by the guards; for +I thought that if they knew he had this money, they might have raised +the price of their concessions. It occurred to me, even, to come to an +understanding with them, in order to secure for the young man the +privilege of conversing with his mistress, during the rest of the +journey to Havre, without hindrance. I beckoned the chief to approach, +and made the proposition to him. It seemed to abash the ruffian, in +spite of his habitual effrontery. "It is not, sir," said he, in an +embarrassed tone, "that we refuse to let him speak to the girl, but he +wishes to be always near her, which puts us to inconvenience; and it is +just that we should be paid for the trouble he occasions." "Let us +see!" said I to him, "what would suffice to prevent you from feeling +the inconvenience?" He had the audacity to demand two louis. I gave +them to him on the spot. "But have a care," said I to him, "that we +have no foul play: for I shall give the young man my address, in order +that he may write to me on his arrival; and be assured that I am not +without the power to punish you." It cost me altogether six +louis-d'ors. + +The graceful manner and heartfelt gratitude with which the young +unknown thanked me, confirmed my notion that he was of good birth and +merited my kindness. I addressed a few words to his mistress before I +left the room. She replied to me with a modesty so gentle and so +charming that I could not help making, as I went out, a thousand +reflections upon the incomprehensible character of women. + +Returned to my retreat, I remained in ignorance of the result of this +adventure; and ere two years had passed, it was completely blotted from +my recollection, when chance brought me an opportunity of learning all +the circumstances from beginning to end. + +I arrived at Calais, from London, with my pupil, the Marquis of ----. +We lodged, if I remember rightly, at the "Golden Lion," where, for some +reason, we were obliged to spend the following day and night. Walking +along the streets in the afternoon, I fancied I saw the same young man +whom I had formerly met at Passy. He was miserably dressed, and much +paler than when I first saw him. He carried on his arm an old +portmanteau, having only just arrived in the town. However, there was +an expression in his countenance too amiable not to be easily +recognised, and which immediately brought his features to my +recollection. "Observe that young man," said I to the Marquis; "we must +accost him." + +His joy was beyond expression when, in his turn, he recognised me. + +"Ah, sir!" he cried, kissing my hand, "I have then once again an +opportunity of testifying my eternal gratitude to you!" I enquired of +him whence he came. He replied, that he had just arrived, by sea, from +Havre, where he had lately landed from America. "You do not seem to be +too well off for money," said I to him; "go on to the 'Golden Lion,' +where I am lodging; I will join you in a moment." + +I returned, in fact, full of impatience to learn the details of his +misfortunes, and the circumstances of his voyage to America. I gave him +a thousand welcomes, and ordered that they should supply him with +everything he wanted. He did not wait to be solicited for the history +of his life. "Sir," said he to me, "your conduct is so generous, that +I should consider it base ingratitude to maintain any reserve towards +you. You shall learn not only my misfortunes and sufferings, but my +faults and most culpable weaknesses. I am sure that, even while you +blame me, you will not refuse me your sympathy." + +I should here inform the reader that I wrote down the story almost +immediately after hearing it; and he may, therefore, be assured of the +correctness and fidelity of the narrative. I use the word fidelity +with reference to the substance of reflections and sentiments, which +the young man conveyed in the most graceful language. Here, then, is +his story, which in its progress I shall not encumber with a single +observation that was not his own. + + + +II + + + I loved Ophelia! forty thousand brothers + Could not, with all their quantity of love, + Make up my sum. + SHAKESPEARE. + + +"I was seventeen years old, and was finishing my studies at Amiens, +whither my parents, who belonged to one of the first families in +Picardy, had sent me. I led a life so studious and well regulated, +that my masters pointed to me as a model of conduct for the other +scholars. Not that I made any extraordinary efforts to acquire this +reputation, but my disposition was naturally tractable and tranquil; my +inclinations led me to apply to study; and even the natural dislike I +felt for vice was placed to my credit as positive proof of virtue. The +successful progress of my studies, my birth, and some external +advantages of person, made me a general favourite with the inhabitants +of the town. + +"I completed my public exercises with such general approbation, that +the bishop of the diocese, who was present, proposed to me to enter the +church, where I could not fail, he said, to acquire more distinction +than in the Order of Malta, for which my parents had destined me. I was +already decorated with the Cross, and called the Chevalier des Grieux. +The vacation having arrived, I was preparing to return to my father, +who had promised to send me soon to the Academy. + +"My only regret on quitting Amiens arose from parting with a friend, +some years older than myself, to whom I had always been tenderly +attached. We had been brought up together; but from the straitened +circumstances of his family, he was intended to take orders, and was to +remain after me at Amiens to complete the requisite studies for his +sacred calling. He had a thousand good qualities. You will recognise +in him the very best during the course of my history, and above all, a +zeal and fervour of friendship which surpass the most illustrious +examples of antiquity. If I had at that time followed his advice, I +should have always continued a discreet and happy man. If I had even +taken counsel from his reproaches, when on the brink of that gulf into +which my passions afterwards plunged me, I should have been spared the +melancholy wreck of both fortune and reputation. But he was doomed to +see his friendly admonitions disregarded; nay, even at times repaid by +contempt from an ungrateful wretch, who often dared to treat his +fraternal conduct as offensive and officious. + +"I had fixed the day for my departure from Amiens. Alas! that I had +not fixed it one day sooner! I should then have carried to my father's +house my innocence untarnished. + +"The very evening before my expected departure, as I was walking with +my friend, whose name was Tiberge, we saw the Arras diligence arrive, +and sauntered after it to the inn, at which these coaches stop. We had +no other motive than curiosity. Some worn men alighted, and +immediately retired into the inn. One remained behind: she was very +young, and stood by herself in the court, while a man of advanced age, +who appeared to have charge of her, was busy in getting her luggage +from the vehicle. She struck me as being so extremely beautiful, that +I, who had never before thought of the difference between the sexes, or +looked on woman with the slightest attention--I, whose conduct had been +hitherto the theme of universal admiration, felt myself, on the +instant, deprived of my reason and self-control. I had been always +excessively timid, and easily disconcerted; but now, instead of meeting +with any impediment from this weakness, I advanced without the +slightest reserve towards her, who had thus become, in a moment, the +mistress of my heart. + +"Although younger than myself, she received my civilities without +embarrassment. I asked the cause of her journey to Amiens, and whether +she had any acquaintances in the town. She ingenuously told me that +she had been sent there by her parents, to commence her novitiate for +taking the veil. Love had so quickened my perception, even in the +short moment it had been enthroned, that I saw in this announcement a +death-blow to my hopes. I spoke to her in a way that made her at once +understand what was passing in my mind; for she had more experience +than myself. It was against her consent that she was consigned to a +convent, doubtless to repress that inclination for pleasure which had +already become too manifest, and which caused, in the sequel, all her +misfortunes and mine. I combated the cruel intention of her parents +with all the arguments that my new-born passion and schoolboy eloquence +could suggest. She affected neither austerity nor reserve. She told +me, after a moment's silence, that she foresaw too clearly, what her +unhappy fate must be; but that it was, apparently, the will of Heaven, +since there were no means left her to avert it. The sweetness of her +look, the air of sorrow with which she pronounced these words, or +rather perhaps the controlling destiny which led me on to ruin, allowed +me not an instant to weigh my answer. I assured her that if she would +place reliance on my honour, and on the tender interest with which she +had already inspired me, I would sacrifice my life to deliver her from +the tyranny of her parents, and to render her happy. I have since been +a thousand times astonished in reflecting upon it, to think how I could +have expressed myself with so much boldness and facility; but love +could never have become a divinity, if he had not often worked miracles. + +"I made many other pressing and tender speeches; and my unknown fair +one was perfectly aware that mine was not the age for deceit. She +confessed to me that if I could see but a reasonable hope of being able +to effect her enfranchisement, she should deem herself indebted for my +kindness in more than life itself could pay. I repeated that I was +ready to attempt anything in her behalf; but, not having sufficient +experience at once to imagine any reasonable plan of serving her, I did +not go beyond this general assurance, from which indeed little good +could arise either to her or to myself. Her old guardian having by +this time joined us, my hopes would have been blighted, but that she +had tact enough to make amends for my stupidity. I was surprised, on +his approaching us, to hear her call me her cousin, and say, without +being in the slightest degree disconcerted, that as she had been so +fortunate as to fall in with me at Amiens, she would not go into the +convent until the next morning, in order to have the pleasure of +meeting me at supper. Innocent as I was, I at once comprehended the +meaning of this ruse; and proposed that she should lodge for the night +at the house of an innkeeper, who, after being many years my father's +coachman, had lately established himself at Amiens, and who was +sincerely attached to me. + +"I conducted her there myself, at which the old Argus appeared to +grumble a little; and my friend Tiberge, who was puzzled by the whole +scene, followed, without uttering a word. He had not heard our +conversation, having walked up and down the court while I was talking +of love to my angelic mistress. As I had some doubts of his +discretion, I got rid of him, by begging that he would execute a +commission for me. I had thus the happiness, on arriving at the inn, +of entertaining alone the sovereign of my heart. + +"I soon learned that I was less a child than I had before imagined. My +heart expanded to a thousand sentiments of pleasure, of which I had not +before the remotest idea. A delicious consciousness of enjoyment +diffused itself through my whole mind and soul. I sank into a kind of +ecstasy, which deprived me for a time of the power of utterance, and +which found vent only in a flood of tears. + +"Manon Lescaut (this she told me was her name) seemed gratified by the +visible effect of her own charms. She appeared to me not less excited +than myself. She acknowledged that she was greatly pleased with me, +and that she should be enchanted to owe to me her freedom and future +happiness. She would insist on hearing who I was, and the knowledge +only augmented her affection; for, being herself of humble birth, she +was flattered by securing for her lover a man of family. + +"After many reflections we could discover no other resource than in +flight. To effect this it would be requisite to cheat the vigilance of +Manon's guardian, who required management, although he was but a +servant. We determined, therefore, that, during the night, I should +procure a post-chaise, and return with it at break of day to the inn, +before he was awake; that we should steal away quietly, and go straight +to Paris, where we might be married on our arrival. I had about fifty +crowns in my pocket, the fruit of my little savings at school; and she +had about twice as much. We imagined, like inexperienced children, +that such a sum could never be exhausted, and we counted, with equal +confidence, upon the success of our other schemes. + +"After having supped, with certainly more satisfaction than I had ever +before experienced, I retired to prepare for our project. All my +arrangements were the more easy, because, for the purpose of returning +on the morrow to my father's, my luggage had been already packed. I +had, therefore, no difficulty in removing my trunk, and having a chaise +prepared for five o'clock in the morning, at which hour the gates of +the town would be opened; but I encountered an obstacle which I was +little prepared for, and which nearly upset all my plans. + +"Tiberge, although only three years older than myself, was a youth of +unusually strong mind, and of the best regulated conduct. He loved me +with singular affection. The sight of so lovely a girl as Manon, my +ill-disguised impatience to conduct her to the inn, and the anxiety I +betrayed to get rid of him, had excited in his mind some suspicions of +my passion. He had not ventured to return to the inn where he had left +me, for fear of my being annoyed at his doing so; but went to wait for +me at my lodgings, where, although it was ten o'clock at night, I found +him on my arrival. His presence annoyed me, and he soon perceived the +restraint which it imposed. 'I am certain,' he said to me, without any +disguise, 'that you have some plan in contemplation which you will not +confide to me; I see it by your manner.' I answered him rather +abruptly, that I was not bound to render him an account of all my +movements. 'Certainly not!' he replied; 'but you have always, hitherto, +treated me as a friend, and that appellation implies a certain degree +of confidence and candour.' He pressed me so much and so earnestly to +discover my secret, that, having never up to that moment felt the +slightest reserve towards him, I confided to him now the whole history +of my passion. He heard it with an appearance of disapprobation, which +made me tremble; and I immediately repented of my indiscretion, in +telling him of my intended elopement. He told me he was too sincerely +my friend not to oppose every obstacle in his power to such a scheme; +that he would first try all other means of turning me from such a +purpose, but that if I refused to renounce so fatal a resolution, he +assuredly would inform some persons of my intention, who would be able +to defeat it. He held forth upon the subject for a full quarter of an +hour, in the most serious tone, and ended by again threatening to +inform against me, if I did not pledge him my word that I would return +to the paths of discretion and reason. + +"I was in despair at having so awkwardly betrayed myself. However, love +having wonderfully sharpened my intellect during the last two or three +hours, I recollected that I had not yet told him of its being my +intention to execute my project on the following morning, and I at once +determined to deceive him by a little equivocation. + +"'Tiberge,' said I to him, 'up to the present moment I thought you were +my friend; and I wished to prove it by the test of confidence. It is +true, I am in love; I have not deceived you: but with regard to my +flight, that is a project not to be undertaken without deliberation. +Call for me tomorrow at nine o'clock: you shall see my mistress, if it +be possible, and then judge whether she is not worthy of any risk or +sacrifice on my part.' He left me, with a thousand protestations of +friendship. + +"I employed the night in preparing for the journey, and on repairing to +the inn at early dawn, I found Manon waiting my arrival. She was at +her window, which looked upon the street, and perceiving my approach, +she came down and opened the door herself. We took our departure +silently, and without creating the least alarm. She merely brought +away a small portion of her apparel, of which I took charge. The +chaise was in readiness, and we were soon at a distance from the town. + +"You will learn in the sequel what was the conduct of Tiberge when he +discovered that I had deceived him; that his zeal to serve me suffered +no diminution; and you will observe to what lengths his devotion +carried him. How ought I to grieve, when I reflect on the base +ingratitude with which his affection was always repaid! + +"We made such speed on our journey that before night we reached St. +Denis. I rode alongside of the chaise, which gave us little +opportunity for conversation, except while changing horses; but when we +found ourselves so near Paris, and out of the reach of danger, we +allowed ourselves time for refreshment, not having tasted food since we +quitted Amiens. Passionately in love as I felt with Manon, she knew +how to convince me that she was equally so with me. So little did we +restrain our fondness, that we had not even patience to reserve our +caresses till we were alone. The postilions and innkeepers stared at us +with wonder, and I remarked that they appeared surprised at such +uncontrollable love in children of our age. + +"Our project of marriage was forgotten at St. Denis; we defrauded the +Church of her rights; and found ourselves united as man and wife +without reflecting on the consequences. It is certain that with my +easy and constant disposition, I should have been happy for my whole +life, if Manon had remained faithful to me. The more I saw of her, the +more I discovered in her new perfections. Her mind, her heart, her +gentleness and beauty, formed a chain at once so binding and so +agreeable, that I could have found perfect happiness in its enduring +influence. Terrible fatality, that which has been the source of my +despair, might, under a slight change of circumstances, have +constituted my happiness. I find myself the most wretched of mankind, +by the force of that very constancy from which I might have fairly +expected to derive the most serene of human blisses, and the most +perfect recompense of love. + +"We took a furnished apartment at Paris, in the Rue V----, and, as it +afterwards turned out, to my sorrow, close to the house of M. de B----, +the famous Fermier-general. Three weeks passed, during which I was so +absorbed in my passion, that I never gave a thought to my family, nor +dreamed of the distress which my father probably felt at my absence. +However, as there was yet nothing of profligacy about me, and as Manon +conducted herself with the strictest propriety, the tranquil life we +led served to restore me by degrees to a sense of duty. + +"I resolved to effect, if possible, a reconciliation with my parent. +My mistress was to me so perfectly lovable, that I could not doubt +her power of captivating my father, if I could only find the means of +making him acquainted with her good conduct and merit. In a word, I +relied on obtaining his consent to our marriage, having given up all +idea of accomplishing it without his approval. I mentioned the project +to Manon, and explained to her that, besides every motive of filial +love and duty, the weightier one of necessity should also have some +influence; for our finances were sadly reduced, and I began to see the +folly of thinking them, as I once did, inexhaustible. + +"Manon received the proposition with considerable coldness. However, +the difficulties she made, being apparently the suggestions of +tenderness alone, or as arising from the natural fear of losing me, if +my father, after learning our address, should refuse his assent to our +union, I had not the smallest suspicion of the cruel blow she was at +the very time preparing to inflict. As to the argument of necessity, +she replied that we had still abundant means of living for some weeks +longer, and that she would then find a resource in the kindness of some +relations in the country, to whom she should write. She tempered her +opposition by caresses so tender and impassioned, that I, who lived +only for her, and who never had the slightest misgiving as to her love, +applauded at once her arguments and her resolutions. + +"To Manon I had committed the care of our finances, and the house-hold +arrangements. In a short time, I observed that our style of living was +improved, and that she had treated herself to more expensive dresses. +As I calculated that we could hardly have at this period more than +fifteen or twenty crowns remaining, I did not conceal my surprise at +this mysterious augmentation of our wealth. She begged of me, with a +smile, to give myself no trouble on that head. 'Did I not promise +you,' said she, 'that I would find resources?' I loved her too purely +to experience the slightest suspicion. + +"One day, having gone out in the afternoon, and told her that I should +not be at home so early as usual, I was astonished, on my return, at +being detained several minutes at the door. Our only servant was a +young girl about our own age. On her letting me in at last, I asked +why she had detained me so long? She replied in an embarrassed tone, +that she did not hear me knock. 'I only knocked once,' said I; 'so if +you did not hear me, why come to open the door at all?' This query +disconcerted her so visibly, that losing her presence of mind, she +began to cry, assuring me that it was not her fault; and that her +mistress had desired her not to open the door until M. de B---- had had +time to go down by the back staircase. I was so confounded by this +information as to be utterly unable to proceed to our apartment; and +was obliged to leave the house, under the pretext of an appointment. I +desired the girl, therefore, to let her mistress know that I should +return in a few minutes, but on no account to say that she had spoken +to me of M. de B----. + +"My horror was so great, that I shed tears as I went along, hardly +knowing from what feeling they flowed. I entered a coffee-house close +by, and placing myself at a table, I buried my face between my hands, +as though I would turn my eyes inward to ascertain what was passing in +my heart. Still, I dared not recall what I had heard the moment +before. I strove to look upon it as a dream; and was more than once on +the point of returning to my lodgings, determined to attach no +importance to what I had heard. + +"It appeared to me so impossible that Manon could have been unfaithful, +that I feared even to wrong her by a suspicion. I adored her--that was +too certain; I had not on my part given her more proofs of my love than +I had received of hers; why then should I charge her with being less +sincere and constant than myself? What reason could she have to +deceive me? Not three hours before, she had lavished upon me the most +tender caresses, and had received mine with transport: I knew her heart +as thoroughly as my own. 'No, no!' I said, 'it is not possible that +Manon can have deceived me. She well knows that I live but for her; +that I adore her: upon that point I can have no reason to be unhappy.' + +"Notwithstanding these reflections, the visit of M. de B----, and his +secret departure, gave me some uneasiness. I remembered, too, the +little purchases she had lately made, which seemed beyond our present +means. This looked like the liberality of a new lover. And the +confidence with which she had foretold resources which were to me +unknown? I had some difficulty in solving these mysteries in as +favourable a manner as my heart desired. + +"On the other hand, she had been hardly out of my sight since we +entered Paris. However occupied, in our walks, in all our amusements, +she was ever at my side. Heavens! even a momentary separation would +have been too painful. I could not therefore imagine how Manon could, +to any other person, have devoted a single instant. + +"At last I thought I had discovered a clue to the mystery. 'M. de +B----' said I to myself, 'is a man extensively engaged in commercial +affairs; and Manon's relations have no doubt remitted her money through +his house. She has probably already received some from him, and he is +come today to bring her more. She wishes, perhaps, to derive amusement +by and by, from an agreeable surprise, by keeping me at present in the +dark. She would doubtless have at once told me all, if I had gone in +as usual, instead of coming here to distress myself: at all events, she +will not conceal it from me when I broach the subject myself.' + +"I cherished this idea so willingly, that it considerably lightened my +grief. I immediately returned to my lodgings, and embraced Manon as +tenderly as ever. She received me as usual. At first I was tempted to +mention my conjectures, which I now, more than ever, looked upon as +certain; but I restrained myself in the hope that she might render it +unnecessary by informing me of all that had passed. + +"Supper was served. Assuming an air of gaiety, I took my seat at +table; but by the light of the candles which were between us, I fancied +I perceived an air of melancholy about the eyes and countenance of my +beloved mistress. The very thought soon damped my gaiety. I remarked +that her looks wore an unusual expression, and although nothing could +be more soft or languishing, I was at a loss to discover whether they +conveyed more of love than of compassion. I gazed at her with equal +earnestness, and she perhaps had no less difficulty in comprehending +from my countenance what was passing in my heart. We neither spoke nor +ate. At length I saw tears starting from her beauteous +eyes--perfidious tears! 'Oh heavens!' I cried, 'my dearest Manon, why +allow your sorrows to afflict you to this degree without imparting +their cause to me?' She answered me only with sighs, which increased +my misery. I arose trembling from my seat: I conjured her, with all +the urgent earnestness of love, to let me know the cause of her grief: +I wept in endeavouring to soothe her sorrows: I was more dead than +alive. A barbarian would have pitied my sufferings as I stood +trembling with grief and apprehension. + +"While my attention was thus confined to her, I heard people coming +upstairs. They tapped gently at the door. Manon gave me a kiss, and +escaping from my arms, quickly entered the boudoir, turning the key +after her. I imagined that, not being dressed to receive strangers, +she was unwilling to meet the persons who had knocked; I went to let +them in. + +"I had hardly opened the door, when I found myself seized by three men, +whom I recognised as my father's servants. They offered not the least +violence, but two of them taking me by the arms, the third examined my +pockets, and took out a small knife, the only weapon I had about me. +They begged pardon for the necessity they were under of treating me +with apparent disrespect; telling me frankly that they were acting by +the orders of my father, and that my eldest brother was in a carriage +below waiting to receive me. My feelings were so overpowered, that I +allowed myself to be led away without making either reply or +resistance. I found my brother waiting for me as they had stated. +They placed me by his side, and the coachman immediately drove, by his +orders, towards St. Denis. + +"My brother embraced me most affectionately, but during our ride, he +uttered not a word, so that, as I was not inclined for conversation, I +had as much leisure as I could desire to reflect upon my misfortunes." + + + +III + + + That we can call these delicate creatures ours, + And not their appetites. + SHAKESPEARE. + + +"The whole affair was so involved in obscurity that I could not see my +way even to a reasonable conjecture. I was cruelly betrayed--that was +certain; but by whom? Tiberge first occurred to me. 'Tiberge!' said +I, 'it is as much as thy life is worth, if my suspicions turn out to be +well founded.' However, I recollected that he could not by possibility +know my abode; and therefore, he could not have furnished the +information. To accuse Manon was more than my heart was capable of. +The unusual melancholy with which she had lately seemed weighed down, +her tears, the tender kiss she gave me in parting, made it all as yet a +mystery to me. I could only look upon her recent melancholy as a +presentiment of our common misfortune; and while I was deploring the +event which tore me from her, I was credulous enough to consider her +fate as much deserving of pity as my own. + +"The result of my reflections was, that I had been seen and followed in +the streets of Paris by some persons of my acquaintance, who had +conveyed the information to my father. This idea comforted me. I made +up my mind to encounter some reproaches, or perhaps harsh treatment, +for having outraged the paternal authority. I resolved, however, to +suffer with patience, and to promise all that might be required of me, +in order to facilitate my speedy return to Paris, that I might restore +life and happiness to my dear Manon. + +"We soon arrived at St. Denis. My brother, surprised at my long +silence, thought it the effect of fear. He assured me that I had +nothing to apprehend from my father's severity, provided I showed a +disposition to return quietly to the path of duty, and prove myself +worthy of his affection. He made me pass the night at St. Denis, +merely taking the precaution of putting the three lackeys to sleep in +my room. It cost me a pang to find myself in the same inn where I had +stopped with Manon on our way from Amiens to Paris. The innkeeper and +his servants recognised me, and guessed at once the truth of my +history. I overheard them say, 'Ah! that's the handsome young +gentleman who travelled this road about a month ago, with the beautiful +girl he appeared so much in love with! How pretty she was! The poor +young things, how they caressed each other! Pity if they have been +separated!' I pretended not to hear, and kept as much out of sight as +possible. + +"At St. Denis my brother had a chariot waiting for us, in which we +started early the next morning, and arrived at home before night. + +"He saw my father first, in order to make a favourable impression by +telling him how quietly I had allowed myself to be brought away, so +that his reception of me was less austere than I had expected. He +merely rebuked me in general terms for the offence I had committed, by +absenting myself without his permission. As for my mistress, he said I +richly deserved what had happened to me, for abandoning myself to a +person utterly unknown; that he had entertained a better opinion of my +discretion; but that he hoped this little adventure would make me +wiser. I took the whole lecture only in the sense that accorded with +my own notions. I thanked my father for his indulgence, and promised +that I would in future observe a better regulated and more obedient +course of conduct. I felt that I had secured a triumph; for, from the +present aspect of affairs, there was no doubt that I should be free to +effect my escape from the house even before the night was over. + +"We sat down to supper. They rallied me about my Amiens conquest, and +my flight with that paragon of fidelity. I took their jokes in good +part, glad enough at being permitted to revolve in my mind the plans I +had meditated; but some words which fell from my father made me listen +with earnest attention. He spoke of perfidy, and the not disinterested +kindness he had received at the hands of M. de B----. I was almost +paralysed on hearing the name, and begged of my father to explain +himself. He turned to my brother, to ask if he had not told me the +whole story. My brother answered, that I appeared to him so tranquil +upon the road, that he did not suppose I required this remedy to cure +me of my folly. I remarked that my father was doubtful whether he +should give me the explanation or not. I entreated him so earnestly +that he satisfied me, or I should rather say tortured me, with the +following most horrible narration. + +"He began by asking me whether I was really simple enough to believe +that I had been really loved by the girl. I told him confidently that +I was perfectly sure of it, and that nothing could make me for a moment +doubt it. 'Ha, ha, ha!' said he, with a loud laugh; 'that is excellent! +you are a pretty dupe! Admirable idea! 'Twould be a thousand pities, +my poor chevalier, to make you a Knight of Malta, with all the +requisites you possess for a patient and accommodating husband.' He +continued in the same tone to ridicule what he was pleased to call my +dullness and credulity. + +"He concluded, while I maintained a profound silence, by saying that, +according to the nicest calculation he could make of the time since my +departure from Amiens, Manon must have been in love with me about +twelve days; 'for,' said he, 'I know that you left Amiens on the 28th +of last month; this is, the 29th of the present; it is eleven days +since M. de B---- wrote to me; I suppose he required eight days to +establish a perfect understanding with your mistress; so that, take +eight and eleven from thirty-one days, the time between the 28th of one +month and the 29th of the next, there remains twelve, more or less!' +This joke was followed by shouts of laughter. + +"I heard it all with a kind of sinking of the heart that I thought I +could not bear up against, until he finished. 'You must know then,' +continued my father, 'since you appear as yet ignorant of it, that M. +de B---- has won the affections of your idol; for he can't be serious +in pretending that it is his disinterested regard for me that has +induced him to take her from you. It would be absurd to expect such +noble sentiments from a man of his description, and one, besides, who +is a perfect stranger to me. He knew that you were my son, and in +order to get rid of you, he wrote to inform me of your abode, and of +the life you led; saying, at the same time, that strong measures would +be necessary to secure you. + +"He offered to procure me the means of laying hold of you; and it was +by his direction, as well as that of your mistress herself, that your +brother hit upon the moment for catching you unawares. Now, you may +congratulate yourself upon the duration of your triumph. You know how +to conquer, rapid enough; but you have yet to learn how to secure your +conquests.' + +"I could no longer endure these remarks, every one of which struck a +dagger to my heart. I arose from the table, and had not advanced four +steps towards the door, when I fell upon the floor, perfectly +senseless. By prompt applications they soon brought me to myself. My +eyes opened only to shed a torrent of tears, and my lips to utter the +most sorrowful and heartrending complaints. My father, who always loved +me most affectionately, tried every means to console me. I listened to +him, but his words were without effect. I threw myself at his feet, in +the attitude of prayer, conjuring him to let me return to Paris, and +destroy the monster B----. 'No!' cried I; 'he has not gained Manon's +heart; he may have seduced her by charms, or by drugs; he may have even +brutally violated her. Manon loves me. Do I not know that well? He +must have terrified her with a poniard, to induce her to abandon me.' +What must he not have done to have robbed me of my angelic mistress? +Oh Heaven! Heaven! can it be possible that Manon deceived me, or that +she has ceased to love me! + +"As I continued to rave about returning at once to Paris, and was +perpetually starting up with that purpose, my father clearly saw that +while the paroxysm lasted, no arguments could pacify me. He conducted +me to one of the upper rooms, and left two servants to keep constant +watch over me. I was completely bewildered. I would have given a +thousand lives to be but for one quarter of an hour in Paris. I had +sense enough, however, to know that having so openly declared my +intention, they would not easily allow me to quit my chamber. I looked +at the height of the windows. Seeing no possibility of escaping that +way, I addressed the servants in the most tranquil tone. I promised, +with the most solemn vows, to make at some future day their fortunes, +if they would but consent to my escape. I entreated them; I tried +caresses, and lastly threats; but all were unavailing. I gave myself +up to despair. I resolved to die; and threw myself upon the bed, with +a firm determination to quit it only with my life. In this situation I +passed the night and the following day. I refused the nourishment that +was brought to me next morning. + +"My father came to see me in the afternoon. He tried in the most +affectionate manner, to soothe my grief. He desired me so urgently to +take some refreshment, that, to gratify him, I obeyed his wishes. +Several days passed, during which I took nothing but in his presence, +and at his special request. He continued to furnish new arguments to +restore me to my proper senses, and to inspire me with merited contempt +for the faithless Manon. I certainly had lost all esteem for her: how +could I esteem the most fickle and perfidious of created beings! But +her image--those exquisite features, which were engraven on my heart's +core, were still uneffaced. I understood my own feelings: 'I may +die,' said I, 'and I ought to die after so much shame and grief; but I +might suffer a thousand deaths without being able to forget the ingrate +Manon.' + +"My father was surprised at my still continuing so powerfully affected. +He knew that I was imbued with the principles of honour; and not +doubting that her infidelity must make me despise her, fancied that my +obstinacy proceeded less from this particular passion, than from a +general inclination towards the sex. This idea so took possession of +his mind, that, prompted only by his affection for me, he came one day +to reveal his thoughts. 'Chevalier,' said he to me, 'it has been +hitherto my intention to make you bear the Cross of Malta: I now see +that your inclinations do not bend that way. You are an admirer of +beauty. I shall be able to find you a wife to your taste. Let me +candidly know how you feel upon the subject.' + +"I answered that I could never again see the slightest difference +amongst women, and that after the misfortune I had experienced, I +detested them all equally. 'I will find you one,' replied my father, +smiling, 'who shall resemble Manon in beauty, but who shall be more +faithful.' 'Ah! if you have any mercy,' said I, 'you will restore my +Manon to me. Be assured, my dear father, that she has not betrayed me; +she is incapable of such base and cruel treachery. It is the +perfidious B---- who deceives both her and me. If you could form an +idea of her tenderness and her sincerity--if you only knew her, you +yourself would love her!' 'You are absolutely a child,' replied my +father. 'How can you so delude yourself, after what I have told you +about her? It was she who actually delivered you up to your brother. +You ought to obliterate even her name from your memory, and take +advantage, if you are wise, of the indulgence I am showing you.' + +"I very clearly perceived that my father was right. It was an +involuntary emotion that made me thus take part with the traitor. +'Alas!' replied I, after a moment's silence, 'it is but too true that I +am the unhappy victim of the vilest perfidy. Yes,' I continued, while +shedding tears of anger, 'I too clearly perceive that I am indeed but a +child. Credulity like mine was easily gulled; but I shall be at no +loss to revenge myself.' My father enquired of me my intentions: 'I +will go to Paris,' I said, 'set fire to B----'s house, and immolate him +and the perfidious Manon together.' This burst made my father laugh, +and had only the effect of causing me to be more vigilantly watched in +my cell. + +"I thus passed six long months; during the first of which my mind +underwent little change. My feelings were in a state of perpetual +alternation between hate and love; between hope and despair; according +as, the tendency of each passing thought brought Manon back to my +recollection. At one time, I could see in her the most delightful of +women only, and sigh for the pleasure of beholding her once more; at +another, I felt she was the most unworthy and perfidious of mistresses, +and I would on these occasions swear never again to seek her, but for +the purpose of revenge. + +"I was supplied with books, which served to restore my peace of mind. +I read once again all my favourite authors; and I became acquainted +with new ones. All my former taste for study was revived. You will +see of what use this was to me in the sequel. The light I had already +derived from love, enabled me to comprehend many passages in Horace and +Virgil which had before appeared obscure. I wrote an amatory +commentary upon the fourth book of the AEneid. I intend one day to +publish it, and I flatter myself it will be popular. + +"'Alas!' I used to exclaim, 'whilst employed on that work, it was for a +heart like mine the faithful Dido sighed, and sighed in vain!' + + + +IV + + + Now, by the strange enchantment that surrounds thee, + There's nothing--nothing thou shalt ask in vain. + ESSEX. + + +"While in my confinement Tiberge came one day to see me. I was +surprised at the affectionate joy with which he saluted me. I had +never, hitherto, observed any peculiar warmth in his friendship that +could lead me to look upon it as anything more than the partiality +common among boys of the same age. He was so altered, and had grown so +manly during the five or six months since I had last seen him, that his +expressive features and his manner of addressing me inspired me with a +feeling of respect. He spoke more in the character of a mentor than a +schoolfellow, lamented the delusion into which I had fallen, +congratulated me on my reformation, which he believed was now sincere, +and ended by exhorting me to profit by my youthful error, and open my +eyes to the vanity of worldly pleasures. I looked at him with some +astonishment, which he at once perceived. + +"'My dear chevalier,' said he to me, 'you shall hear nothing but the +strict truth, of which I have assured myself by the most serious +examination. I had, perhaps, as strong an inclination for pleasure as +you, but Heaven had at the same time, in its mercy, blessed me with a +taste for virtue. I exercised my reason in comparing the consequences +of the one with those of the other, and the divine aid was graciously +vouchsafed to my reflections. I conceived for the world a contempt +which nothing can equal. Can you guess what it is retains me in it +now,' he added, 'and that prevents me from embracing a life of +solitude? Simply the sincere friendship I bear towards you. I know +the excellent qualities of both your heart and head. There is no good +of which you may not render yourself capable. The blandishments of +pleasure have momentarily drawn you aside. What detriment to the +sacred cause of virtue! Your flight from Amiens gave me such intense +sorrow, that I have not since known a moment's happiness. You may judge +of this by the steps it induced me to take.' He then told me how, +after discovering that I had deceived him, and gone off with my +mistress, he procured horses for the purpose of pursuing me, but having +the start of him by four or five hours, he found it impossible to +overtake me; that he arrived, however, at St. Denis half an hour after +I had left it; that, being very sure that I must have stopped in Paris, +he spent six weeks there in a fruitless endeavour to discover +me--visiting every place where he thought he should be likely to meet +me, and that one evening he at length recognised my mistress at the +play, where she was so gorgeously dressed, that he of course set it +down to the account of some new lover; that he had followed her +equipage to her house, and had there learned from a servant that she +was entertained in this style by M. de B----. 'I did not stop here,' +continued he; 'I returned next day to the house, to learn from her own +lips what had become of you. She turned abruptly away when she heard +the mention of your name, and I was obliged to return into the country +without further information. I there learned the particulars of your +adventure, and the extreme annoyance she had caused you; but I was +unwilling to visit you until I could have assurance of your being in a +more tranquil state.' + +"'You have seen Manon then!' cried I, sighing. 'Alas! you are happier +than I, who am doomed never again to behold her.' He rebuked me for +this sigh, which still showed my weakness for the perfidious girl. He +flattered me so adroitly upon the goodness of my mind and disposition, +that he really inspired me, even on this first visit, with a strong +inclination to renounce, as he had done, the pleasures of the world, +and enter at once into holy orders. + +"The idea was so suited to my present frame of mind, that when alone I +thought of nothing else. I remembered the words of the Bishop of +Amiens, who had given me the same advice, and thought only of the +happiness which he predicted would result from my adoption of such a +course. Piety itself took part in these suggestions. 'I shall lead a +holy and a Christian life,' said I; 'I shall divide my time between +study and religion, which will allow me no leisure for the perilous +pleasures of love. I shall despise that which men ordinarily admire; +and as I am conscious that my heart will desire nothing but what it can +esteem, my cares will not be greater or more numerous than my wants and +wishes.' + +"I thereupon pictured to myself in anticipation a course of life +peaceful and retired. I fancied a retreat embosomed in a wood, with a +limpid stream of running water bounding my garden; a library, +comprising the most select works; a limited circle of friends, virtuous +and intellectual; a table neatly served, but frugal and temperate. To +all these agremens I added a literary correspondence with a friend +whose residence should be in Paris, who should give me occasional +information upon public affairs, less for the gratification of my +curiosity, than to afford a kind of relaxation by hearing of and +lamenting the busy follies of men. 'Shall not I be happy?' added I; +'will not my utmost wishes be thus gratified?' This project flattered +my inclinations extremely. But after all the details of this most +admirable and prudent plan, I felt that my heart still yearned for +something; and that in order to leave nothing to desire in this most +enchanting retirement, one ought to be able to share it with Manon. + +"However, Tiberge continuing to pay me frequent visits in order to +strengthen me in the purpose with which he had inspired me, I took an +opportunity of opening the subject to my father. He declared that his +intention ever was to leave his children free to choose a profession, +and that in whatever manner I should dispose of myself, all he wished +to reserve was the right of aiding me with his counsel. On this +occasion he gave me some of the wisest, which tended less to divert me +from my project, than to convince me of my good father's sound judgment +and discretion. + +"The recommencement of the scholastic year being at hand, Tiberge and I +agreed to enter ourselves together at St. Sulpice, he to pursue his +theological studies, and I to begin mine. His merits, which were not +unknown to the bishop of the diocese, procured him the promise of a +living from that prelate before our departure. + +"My father, thinking me quite cured of my passion, made no objection to +my taking final leave. We arrived at Paris. The Cross of Malta gave +place to the ecclesiastical habit, and the designation of the Abbé de +Grieux was substituted for that of chevalier. I applied so diligently +to study, that in a few months I had made extraordinary progress. I +never lost a moment of the day, and employed even part of the night. I +soon acquired such a reputation, that I was already congratulated upon +the honours which I was sure of obtaining; and, without solicitation on +my part, my name was inscribed on the list for a vacant benefice. +Piety was by no means neglected, and I entered with ardent devotion +into all the exercises of religion. Tiberge was proud of what he +considered the work of his own hands, and many a time have I seen him +shed tears of delight in noticing what he styled my perfect conversion. + +"It has never been matter of wonder to me that human resolutions are +liable to change; one passion gives them birth, another may destroy +them; but when I reflect upon the sacredness of those motives that led +me to St. Sulpice, and upon the heartfelt satisfaction I enjoyed while +obeying their dictation, I shudder at the facility with which I +outraged them all. If it be true that the benign succour afforded by +Heaven is at all times equal to the strongest of man's pinions, I shall +be glad to learn the nature of the deplorable ascendancy which causes +us suddenly to swerve from the path of duty, without the power of +offering the least resistance, and without even the slightest +visitation of remorse. + +"I now thought myself entirely safe from the dangers of love. I +fancied that I could have preferred a single page of St. Augustine, or +a quarter of an hour of Christian meditation, to every sensual +gratification, not excepting any that I might have derived even from +Manon's society. Nevertheless, one unlucky moment plunged me again +headlong into the gulf; and my ruin was the more irreparable, because, +falling at once to the same depth from whence I had been before +rescued, each of the new disorders into which I now lapsed carried me +deeper and deeper still down the profound abyss of vice. I had passed +nearly a year at Paris without hearing of Manon. It cost me no slight +effort to abstain from enquiry; but the unintermitting advice of +Tiberge, and my own reflections, secured this victory over my wishes. +The last months glided away so tranquilly, that I considered the memory +of this charming but treacherous creature about to be consigned to +eternal oblivion. + +"The time arrived when I was to undergo a public examination in the +class of theology: I invited several persons of consideration to +honour me with their presence on the occasion. My name was mentioned in +every quarter of Paris: it even reached the ears of her who had +betrayed me. She had some difficulty in recognising it with the prefix +of Abbé; but curiosity, or perhaps remorse for having been faithless to +me (I could never after ascertain by which of these feelings she was +actuated), made her at once take an interest in a name so like mine; +and she came with several other women to the Sorbonne, where she was +present at my examination, and had doubtless little trouble in +recognising my person. + +"I had not the remotest suspicion of her presence. It is well known +that in these places there are private seats for ladies, where they +remain screened by a curtain. I returned to St. Sulpice covered with +honours and congratulations. It was six in the evening. The moment I +returned, a lady was announced, who desired to speak with me. I went +to meet her. Heavens! what a surprise! + +"It was Manon. It was she indeed, but more bewitching and brilliant +than I had ever beheld her. She was now in her eighteenth year. Her +beauty beggars all description. The exquisite grace of her form, the +mild sweetness of expression that animated her features, and her +engaging air, made her seem the very personification of love. The +vision was something too perfect for human beauty. + +"I stood like one enchanted at beholding her. Unable to divine the +object of her visit, I waited trembling and with downcast looks until +she explained herself. At first, her embarrassment was equal to mine; +but, seeing that I was not disposed to break silence, she raised her +hand to her eyes to conceal a starting tear, and then, in a timid tone, +said that she well knew she had justly earned my abhorrence by her +infidelity; but that if I had ever really felt any love for her, there +was not much kindness in allowing two long years to pass without +enquiring after her, and as little now in seeing her in the state of +mental distress in which she was, without condescending to bestow upon +her a single word. I shall not attempt to describe what my feelings +were as I listened to this reproof. + +"She seated herself. I remained standing, with my face half turned +aside, for I could not muster courage to meet her look. I several +times commenced a reply without power to conclude it. At length I made +an effort, and in a tone of poignant grief exclaimed: 'Perfidious +Manon! perfidious, perfidious creature!' She had no wish, she repeated +with a flood of tears, to attempt to justify her infidelity. 'What is +your wish, then?' cried I. 'I wish to die,' she answered, 'if you will +not give me back that heart, without which it is impossible to endure +life.' 'Take my life too, then, faithless girl!' I exclaimed, in vain +endeavouring to restrain my tears; 'take my life also! it is the sole +sacrifice that remains for me to make, for my heart has never ceased to +be thine.' + +"I had hardly uttered these words, when she rose in a transport of joy, +and approached to embrace me. She loaded me with a thousand caresses. +She addressed me by all the endearing appellations with which love +supplies his votaries, to enable them to express the most passionate +fondness. I still answered with affected coldness; but the sudden +transition from a state of quietude, such as that I had up to this +moment enjoyed, to the agitation and tumult which were now kindled in +my breast and tingled through my veins, thrilled me with a kind of +horror, and impressed me with a vague sense that I was about to undergo +some great transformation, and to enter upon a new existence. + +"We sat down close by each other. I took her hand within mine, 'Ah! +Manon,' said I, with a look of sorrow, 'I little thought that love like +mine could have been repaid with treachery! It was a poor triumph to +betray a heart of which you were the absolute mistress--whose sole +happiness it was to gratify and obey you. Tell me if among others you +have found any so affectionate and so devoted? No, no! I believe +nature has cast few hearts in the same mould as mine. Tell me at least +whether you have ever thought of me with regret! Can I have any +reliance on the duration of the feeling that has brought you back to me +today? I perceive too plainly that you are infinitely lovelier than +ever: but I conjure you by all my past sufferings, dearest Manon, to +tell me--can you in future be more faithful?' + +"She gave me in reply such tender assurances of her repentance, and +pledged her fidelity with such solemn protestations and vows, that I +was inexpressibly affected. 'Beauteous Manon,' said I, with rather a +profane mixture of amorous and theological expressions, 'you are too +adorable for a created being. I feel my heart transported with +triumphant rapture. It is folly to talk of liberty at St. Sulpice. +Fortune and reputation are but slight sacrifices at such a shrine! I +plainly foresee it: I can read my destiny in your bright eyes; but what +abundant recompense shall I not find in your affections for any loss I +may sustain! The favours of fortune have no influence over me: fame +itself appears to me but a mockery; all my projects of a holy life were +wild absurdities: in fact, any joys but those I may hope for at your +side are fit objects of contempt. There are none that would not vanish +into worthlessness before one single glance of thine!' + +"In promising her, however, a full remission of her past frailties, I +enquired how she permitted herself to be led astray by B----. She +informed me that having seen her at her window, he became passionately +in love with her; that he made his advances in the true style of a +mercantile cit;--that is to say, by giving her to understand in his +letter, that his payments would be proportioned to her favours; that +she had admitted his overtures at first with no other intention than +that of getting from him such a sum as might enable us to live without +inconvenience; but that he had so bewildered her with splendid +promises, that she allowed herself to be misled by degrees. She added, +that I ought to have formed some notion of the remorse she experienced, +by her grief on the night of our separation; and assured me that, in +spite of the splendour in which he maintained her, she had never known +a moment's happiness with him, not only, she said, because he was +utterly devoid of that delicacy of sentiment and of those agreeable +manners which I possessed, but because even in the midst of the +amusements which he unceasingly procured her, she could never shake off +the recollection of my love, or her own ingratitude. She then spoke of +Tiberge, and the extreme embarrassment his visit caused her. 'A +dagger's point,' she added, 'could not have struck more terror to my +heart. I turned from him, unable to sustain the interview for a +moment.' + +"She continued to inform me how she had been apprised of my residence +at Paris, of the change in my condition, and of her witnessing my +examination at the Sorbonne. She told me how agitated she had been +during my intellectual conflict with the examiner; what difficulty she +felt in restraining her tears as well as her sighs, which were more +than once on the point of spurning all control, and bursting forth; +that she was the last person to leave the hall of examination, for fear +of betraying her distress, and that, following only the instinct of her +own heart, and her ardent desires, she came direct to the seminary, +with the firm resolution of surrendering life itself, if she found me +cruel enough to withhold my forgiveness. + +"Could any savage remain unmoved by such proofs of cordial repentance +as those I had just witnessed? For my part, I felt at the moment that +I could gladly have given up all the bishoprics in Christendom for +Manon. I asked what course she would recommend in our present +emergency. 'It is requisite,' she replied, 'at all events, to quit the +seminary, and settle in some safer place.' I consented to everything +she proposed. She got into her carriage to go and wait for me at the +corner of the street. I escaped the next moment, without attracting +the porter's notice. I entered the carriage, and we drove off to a +Jew's. I there resumed my lay-dress and sword. Manon furnished the +supplies, for I was without a sou, and fearing that I might meet with +some new impediment, she would not consent to my returning to my room +at St. Sulpice for my purse. My finances were in truth wretchedly low, +and hers more than sufficiently enriched by the liberality of M. de +B---- to make her think lightly of my loss. We consulted together at +the Jew's as to the course we should now adopt. + +"In order to enhance the sacrifice she had made for me of her late +lover, she determined to treat him without the least ceremony. 'I +shall leave him all his furniture,' she said; 'it belongs to him: but I +shall assuredly carry off, as I have a right to do, the jewels, and +about sixty thousand francs, which I have had from him in the last two +years. I have given him no control over me,' she added, 'so that we +may remain without apprehension in Paris, taking a convenient house, +where we shall live, oh how happily together!' + +"I represented to her that, although there might be no danger for her, +there was a great deal for me, who must be sooner or later infallibly +recognised, and continually exposed to a repetition of the trials I had +before endured. She gave me to understand that she could not quit +Paris without regret. I had such a dread of giving her annoyance, that +there were no risks I would not have encountered for her sake. +However, we compromised matters by resolving to take a house in some +village near Paris, from whence it would be easy for us to come into +town whenever pleasure or business required it. We fixed on Chaillot, +which is at a convenient distance. Manon at once returned to her +house, and I went to wait for her at a side-gate of the garden of the +Tuileries. + +"She returned an hour after, in a hired carriage, with a servant-maid, +and several trunks, which contained her dresses, and everything she had +of value. + +"We were not long on our way to Chaillot. We lodged the first night at +the inn, in order to have time to find a suitable house, or at least a +commodious lodging. We found one to our taste the next morning. + +"My happiness now appeared to be secured beyond the reach of fate. +Manon was everything most sweet and amiable. She was so delicate and +so unceasing in her attentions to me, that I deemed myself but too +bountifully rewarded for all my past troubles. As we had both, by this +time, acquired some experience, we discussed rationally the state of +our finances. Sixty thousand francs (the amount of our wealth) was not +a sum that could be expected to last our whole life; besides, we were +neither of us much disposed to control our expenses. Manon's chief +virtue assuredly was not economy, any more than it was mine. This was +my proposition. 'Sixty thousand francs,' said I, 'may support us for +ten years. Two thousand crowns a year will suffice, if we continue to +live at Chaillot. We shall keep up appearances, but live frugally. Our +only expense will be occasionally a carriage, and the theatres. We +shall do everything in moderation. You like the opera; we shall go +twice a week, in the season. As for play, we shall limit ourselves; so +that our losses must never exceed three crowns. It is impossible but +that in the space of ten years some change must occur in my family: my +father is even now of an advanced age; he may die; in which event I +must inherit a fortune, and we shall then be above all other fears.' + +"This arrangement would not have been by any means the most silly act +of my life, if we had only been prudent enough to persevere in its +execution; but our resolutions hardly lasted longer than a month. +Manon's passion was for amusement; she was the only object of mine. +New temptations to expense constantly presented themselves, and far +from regretting the money which she sometimes prodigally lavished, I +was the first to procure for her everything likely to afford her +pleasure. Our residence at Chaillot began even to appear tiresome. + +"Winter was approaching, and the whole world returning to town; the +country had a deserted look. She proposed to me to take a house in +Paris. I did not approve of this; but, in order partly at least to +satisfy her, I said that we might hire furnished apartments, and that +we might sleep there whenever we were late in quitting the assembly, +whither we often went; for the inconvenience of returning so late to +Chaillot was her excuse for wishing to leave it. We had thus two +dwellings, one in town and the other in the country. This change soon +threw our affairs into confusion, and led to two adventures, which +eventually caused our ruin. + +"Manon had a brother in the Guards. He unfortunately lived in the very +street in which we had taken lodgings. He one day recognised his +sister at the window, and hastened over to us. He was a fellow of the +rudest manners, and without the slightest principle of honour. He +entered the room swearing in the most horrible way; and as he knew part +of his sister's history, he loaded her with abuse and reproaches. + +"I had gone out the moment before, which was doubtless fortunate for +either him or me, for I was little disposed to brook an insult. I only +returned to the lodgings after he had left them. The low spirits in +which I found Manon convinced me at once that something extraordinary +had occurred. She told me of the provoking scene she had just gone +through, and of the brutal threats of her brother. I felt such +indignation, that I wished to proceed at once to avenge her, when she +entreated me with tears to desist. + +"While we were still talking of the adventure, the guardsman again +entered the room in which we sat, without even waiting to be announced. +Had I known him, he should not have met from me as civil a reception as +he did; but saluting us with a smile upon his countenance, he addressed +himself to Manon, and said, he was come to make excuses for his +violence; that he had supposed her to be living a life of shame and +disgrace, and it was this notion that excited his rage; but having +since made enquiry from one of our servants, he had learned such a +character of me, that his only wish was now to be on terms with us both. + +"Although this admission, of having gone for information to one of my +own servants, had in it something ludicrous as well as indelicate, I +acknowledged his compliments with civility, I thought by doing so to +please Manon, and I was not deceived--she was delighted at the +reconciliation. We made him stay to dine with us. + +"In a little time he became so familiar, that hearing us speak of our +return to Chaillot, he insisted on accompanying us. We were obliged to +give him a seat in our carriage. This was in fact putting him into +possession, for he soon began to feel so much pleasure in our company, +that he made our house his home, and made himself in some measure +master of all that belonged to us. He called me his brother, and, +under the semblance of fraternal freedom, he put himself on such a +footing as to introduce all his friends without ceremony into our house +at Chaillot, and there entertain them at our expense. His magnificent +uniforms were procured of my tailor and charged to me, and he even +contrived to make Manon and me responsible for all his debts. I +pretended to be blind to this system of tyranny, rather than annoy +Manon, and even to take no notice of the sums of money which from time +to time he received from her. No doubt, as he played very deep, he was +honest enough to repay her a part sometimes, when luck turned in his +favour; but our finances were utterly inadequate to supply, for any +length of time, demands of such magnitude and frequency. + +"I was on the point of coming to an understanding with him, in order to +put an end to the system, when an unfortunate accident saved me that +trouble, by involving us in inextricable ruin. + +"One night we stopped in Paris to sleep, as it had now indeed become +our constant habit. The servant-maid who on such occasions remained +alone at Chaillot, came early the next morning to inform me that our +house had taken fire in the night, and that the flames had been +extinguished with great difficulty. I asked whether the furniture had +suffered. She answered, that there had been such confusion, owing to +the multitude of strangers who came to offer assistance, that she could +hardly ascertain what damage had been done. I was principally uneasy +about our money, which had been locked up in a little box. I went off +in haste to Chaillot. Vain hope! the box had disappeared! + +"I discovered that one could love money without being a miser. This +loss afflicted me to such a degree that I was almost out of my mind. I +saw at one glance to what new calamities I should be exposed: poverty +was the least of them. I knew Manon thoroughly; I had already had +abundant proof that, although faithful and attached to me under happier +circumstances, she could not be depended upon in want: pleasure and +plenty she loved too well to sacrifice them for my sake. 'I shall lose +her!' I cried; 'miserable chevalier! you are about then to lose all +that you love on earth!' This thought agitated me to such a degree +that I actually for some moments considered whether it would not be +best for me to end at once all my miseries by death. I however +preserved presence of mind enough to reflect whether I was entirely +without resource, and an idea occurred to me which quieted my despair. +It would not be impossible, I thought, to conceal our loss from Manon; +and I might perhaps discover some ways and means of supplying her, so +as to ward off the inconveniences of poverty. + +"I had calculated in endeavouring to comfort myself, that twenty +thousand crowns would support us for ten years. Suppose that these ten +years had now elapsed, and that none of the events which I had looked +for in my family had occurred. What then would have been my course? I +hardly know; but whatever I should then have done, why may I not do +now? How many are there in Paris, who have neither my talents, nor the +natural advantages I possess, and who, notwithstanding, owe their +support to the exercise of their talents, such as they are? + +"'Has not Providence,' I added, while reflecting on the different +conditions of life, 'arranged things wisely?' The greater number of +the powerful and the rich are fools. No one who knows anything of the +world can doubt that. How admirable is the compensating justice +thereof! If wealth brought with it talent also, the rich would be too +happy, and other men too wretched. To these latter are given personal +advantages and genius, to help them out of misery and want. Some of +them share the riches of the wealthy by administering to their +pleasures, or by making them their dupes; others afford them +instruction, and endeavour to make them decent members of society; to +be sure, they do not always succeed; but that was probably not the +intention of the divine wisdom. In every case they derive a benefit +from their labours by living at the expense of their pupils; and, in +whatever point of view it is considered, the follies of the rich are a +bountiful source of revenue to the humbler classes. + +"These thoughts restored me a little to my spirits and to my reason. I +determined first to consult M. Lescaut, the brother of Manon. He knew +Paris perfectly; and I had too many opportunities of learning that it +was neither from his own estates, nor from the king's pay, that he +derived the principal portion of his income. I had about thirty-three +crowns left, which I fortunately happened to have about me. I showed +him my purse, and explained to him my misfortune and my fears, and then +asked him whether I had any alternative between starvation and blowing +out my brains in despair. He coolly replied that suicide was the +resource of fools. As to dying of want, there were hundreds of men of +genius who found themselves reduced to that state when they would not +employ their talents; that it was for myself to discover what I was +capable of doing, and he told me to reckon upon his assistance and his +advice in any enterprise I might undertake. + +"'Vague enough, M. Lescaut!' said I to him: 'my wants demand a more +speedy remedy; for what am I to say to Manon?' 'Apropos of Manon,' +replied he, 'what is it that annoys you about her? Cannot you always +find in her wherewithal to meet your wants, when you wish it? Such a +person ought to support us all, you and me as well as herself.' He cut +short the answer which I was about to give to such unfeeling and brutal +impertinence, by going on to say, that before night he would ensure me +a thousand crowns to divide between us, if I would only follow his +advice; that he was acquainted with a nobleman, who was so liberal in +affairs of the kind, that he was certain he would not hesitate for a +moment to give the sum named for the favours of such a girl as Manon. + +"I stopped him. 'I had a better opinion of you,' said I; 'I had +imagined that your motive for bestowing your friendship upon me was +very different indeed from the one you now betray.' With the greatest +effrontery he acknowledged that he had been always of the same mind, +and that his sister having once sacrificed her virtue, though it might +be to the man she most loved, he would never have consented to a +reconciliation with her, but with the hope of deriving some advantage +from her past misconduct. + +"It was easy to see that we had been hitherto his dupes. +Notwithstanding the disgust with which his proposition inspired me, +still, as I felt that I had occasion for his services, I said, with +apparent complacency, that we ought only to entertain such a plan as a +last resource. I begged of him to suggest some other. + +"He proposed to me to turn my youth and the good looks nature had +bestowed upon me to some account, by establishing a liaison with some +generous old dame. This was just as little to my taste, for it would +necessarily have rendered me unfaithful to Manon. + +"I mentioned play as the easiest scheme, and the most suitable to my +present situation. He admitted that play certainly was a resource, but +that it was necessary to consider the point well. 'Mere play,' said he, +'with its ordinary chances, is the certain road to ruin; and as for +attempting, alone and without an ally, to employ the little means an +adroit man has for correcting the vagaries of luck, it would be too +dangerous an experiment.' There was, he stated, a third course, which +was to enter into what he called a partnership; but he feared his +confederates would consider my youth an objection to my admittance. +He, however, promised to use his influence with them; and, what was +more than I expected at his hands, he said that he would supply me with +a little money whenever I had pressing occasion for any. The only +favour I then asked of him was to say nothing to Manon of the loss I +had experienced, nor of the subject of our conversation. + +"I certainly derived little comfort from my visit to Lescaut; I felt +even sorry for having confided my secret to him: not a single thing had +he done for me that I might not just as well have done for myself, +without troubling him; and I could not help dreading that he would +violate his promise to keep the secret from Manon. I had also reason +to apprehend, from his late avowals, that he might form the design of +making use of her for his own vile purposes, or at least of advising +her to quit me for some happier and more wealthy lover. This idea +brought in its train a thousand reflections, which had no other effect +than to torment me, and throw me again into the state of despair in +which I had passed the morning. It occurred to me, more than once, to +write to my father; and to pretend a new reformation, in order to +obtain some pecuniary assistance from him; but I could not forget that, +notwithstanding all his natural love and affection for me, he had shut +me up for six months in a confined room for my first transgression; and +I was certain that, after the scandalous sensation caused by my flight +from St. Sulpice, he would be sure to treat me with infinitely more +rigour now. + +"At length, out of this chaos of fancies came an idea that all at once +restored ease to my mind, and which I was surprised at not having hit +upon sooner; this was, to go again to my friend Tiberge, in whom I +might be always sure of finding the same unfailing zeal and friendship. +There is nothing more glorious--nothing that does more honour to true +virtue, than the confidence with which one approaches a friend of tried +integrity; no apprehension, no risk of unkind repulse: if it be not +always in his power to afford the required succour, one is sure at +least of meeting kindness and compassion. The heart of the poor +supplicant, which remains impenetrably closed to the rest of the world, +opens in his presence, as a flower expands before the orb of day, from +which it instinctively knows it can derive a cheering and benign +influence only. + +"I consider it a blessing to have thought so apropos of Tiberge, and +resolved to take measures to find him before evening. I returned at +once to my lodgings to write him a line, and fix a convenient place for +our meeting. I requested secrecy and discretion, as the most important +service he could render me under present circumstances. + +"The pleasure I derived from the prospect of seeing Tiberge dissipated +every trace of melancholy, which Manon would not have failed otherwise +to detect in my countenance. I described our misfortune at Chaillot as +a trifle which ought not to annoy her; and Paris being the spot she +liked best in the world, she was not sorry to hear me say that it would +be necessary for us to remain there entirely, until the little damage +was repaired which had been caused by the fire at Chaillot. + +"In an hour I received an answer from Tiberge, who promised to be at +the appointed rendezvous. I went there punctually. I certainly felt +some shame at encountering a friend whose presence alone ought to be a +reproach to my iniquities; but I was supported by the opinion I had of +the goodness of his heart, as well as by my anxiety about Manon. + +"I had begged of him to meet me in the garden of the Palais Royal. He +was there before me. He hastened towards me, the moment he saw me +approach and shook me warmly by both hands. I said that I could not +help feeling perfectly ashamed to meet him, and that I was weighed down +by a sense of my ingratitude; that the first thing I implored of him +was to tell me whether I might still consider him my friend, after +having so justly incurred the loss of his esteem and affection. He +replied, in the kindest possible manner, that it was not in the nature +of things to destroy his regard for me; that my misfortunes even, or, +if he might so call them, my faults and transgressions, had but +increased the interest he felt for me; but that he must confess his +affection was not unalloyed by a sentiment of the liveliest sorrow, +such as a person may be supposed to feel at seeing a beloved object on +the brink of ruin, and beyond the reach of his assistance. + +"We sat down upon a bench. 'Alas!' said I with a deep sigh, 'your +compassion must be indeed great, my dear Tiberge, if you assure me it +is equal to my sufferings. I am almost ashamed to recount them, for I +confess they have been brought on by no very creditable course of +conduct: the results, however, are so truly melancholy, that a friend +even less attached than you would be affected by the recital.' + +"He then begged of me, in proof of friendship, to let him know, without +any disguise, all that had occurred to me since my departure from St. +Sulpice. I gratified him; and so far from concealing anything, or +attempting to extenuate my faults, I spoke of my passion with all the +ardour with which it still inspired me. I represented it to him as one +of those especial visitations of fate, which draw on the devoted victim +to his ruin, and which it is as impossible for virtue itself to resist, +as for human wisdom to foresee. I painted to him in the most vivid +colours, my excitement, my fears, the state of despair in which I had +been two hours before I saw him, and into which I should be again +plunged, if I found my friends as relentless as fate had been. I at +length made such an impression upon poor Tiberge, that I saw he was as +much affected by compassion, as I by the recollection of my sufferings. + +"He took my hand, and exhorted me to have courage and be comforted; +but, as he seemed to consider it settled that Manon and I were to +separate, I gave him at once to understand that it was that very +separation I considered as the most intolerable of all my misfortunes; +and that I was ready to endure not only the last degree of misery, but +death itself, of the cruellest kind, rather than seek relief in a +remedy worse than the whole accumulation of my woes. + +"'Explain yourself, then,' said he to me; 'what assistance can I afford +you, if you reject everything I propose?' I had not courage to tell +him that it was from his purse I wanted relief. He, however, +comprehended it in the end; and acknowledging that he believed he now +understood me, he remained for a moment in an attitude of thought, with +the air of a person revolving something in his mind. 'Do not imagine,' +he presently said, 'that my hesitation arises from any diminution of my +zeal and friendship; but to what an alternative do you now reduce me, +since I must either refuse you the assistance you ask, or violate my +most sacred duty in affording it! For is it not participating in your +sin to furnish you with the means of continuing its indulgence?' + +"'However,' continued he, after a moment's thought, 'it is perhaps the +excited state into which want has thrown you, that denies you now the +liberty of choosing the proper path. Man's mind must be at rest, to +know the luxury of wisdom and virtue. I can afford to let you have +some money; and permit me, my dear chevalier, to impose but one +condition; that is, that you let me know the place of your abode, and +allow me the opportunity of using my exertions to reclaim you. I know +that there is in your heart a love of virtue, and that you have been +only led astray by the violence of your passions.' + +"I, of course, agreed to everything he asked, and only begged of him to +deplore the malign destiny which rendered me callous to the counsels of +so virtuous a friend. He then took me to a banker of his acquaintance, +who gave one hundred and seventy crowns for his note of hand, which was +taken as cash. I have already said that he was not rich. His living +was worth about six thousand francs a year, but as this was the first +year since his induction, he had as yet touched none of the receipts, +and it was out of the future income that he made me this advance. + +"I felt the full force of his generosity, even to such a degree as +almost to deplore the fatal passion which thus led me to break through +all the restraints of duty. Virtue had for a moment the ascendancy in +my heart, and made me sensible of my shame and degradation. But this +was soon over. For Manon I could have given up my hopes of heaven, and +when I again found myself at her side, I wondered how I could for an +instant have considered myself degraded by my passion for this +enchanting girl. + +"Manon was a creature of most extraordinary disposition. Never had +mortal a greater contempt for money, and yet she was haunted by +perpetual dread of wanting it. Her only desire was for pleasure and +amusement. She would never have wished to possess a sou, if pleasure +could be procured without money. She never even cared what our purse +contained, provided she could pass the day agreeably; so that, being +neither fond of play nor at all dazzled by the desire of great wealth, +nothing was more easy than to satisfy her, by daily finding out +amusements suited to her moderate wishes. But it became by habit a +thing so absolutely necessary for her to have her mind thus occupied, +that, without it, it was impossible to exercise the smallest influence +over her temper or inclinations. Although she loved me tenderly, and I +was the only person, as she often declared, in whose society she could +ever find the pure enjoyments of love, yet I felt thoroughly convinced +that her attachment could not withstand certain apprehensions. She +would have preferred me, even with a moderate fortune, to the whole +world; but I had no kind of doubt that she would, on the other hand, +abandon me for some new M. de B----, when I had nothing more to offer +her than fidelity and love. + +"I resolved therefore so to curtail my own individual expenses, as to +be able always to meet hers, and rather to deprive myself of a thousand +necessaries than even to limit her extravagance. The carriage made me +more uneasy than anything else, for I saw no chance of being able to +maintain either coachman or horses. + +"I told M. Lescaut of my difficulties, and did not conceal from him +that I had received a thousand francs from a friend. He repeated, that +if I wished to try the chances of the gaming-table, he was not without +hopes that, by spending a few crowns in entertaining his associates, I +might be, on his recommendation, admitted into the association. With +all my repugnance to cheating, I yielded to dire necessity. + +"Lescaut presented me that night as a relation of his own. He added, +that I was the more likely to succeed in my new profession, from +wanting the favours of fortune. However, to show them that I was not +quite reduced to the lowest ebb, he said it was my intention to treat +them with a supper. The offer was accepted, and I entertained them en +prince. They talked a good deal about my fashionable appearance and +the apparent amiability of my disposition; they said that the best +hopes might be entertained of me, because there was something in my +countenance that bespoke the gentleman, and no one therefore could have +a suspicion of my honesty: they voted thanks to Lescaut for having +introduced so promising a novice, and deputed one of the members to +instruct me for some days in the necessary manoeuvres. + +"The principal scene of my exploits was the hotel of Transylvania, +where there was a faro table in one room, and other games of cards and +dice in the gallery. This academy was kept by the Prince of R----, who +then lived at Clagny, and most of his officers belonged to our society. +Shall I mention it to my shame? I profited quickly by my instructor's +tuition. I acquired an amazing facility in sleight of hand tricks, and +learned in perfection to sauter le coup; with the help of a pair of +long ruffles, I shuffled so adroitly as to defy the quickest observer, +and I ruined several fair players. My unrivalled skill so quickened +the progress of my fortunes, that I found myself master, in a few +weeks, of very considerable sums, besides what I divided in good faith +with my companions. + +"I had no longer any fear of communicating to Manon the extent of our +loss at Chaillot, and, to console her on the announcement of such +disastrous news, I took a furnished house, where we established +ourselves in all the pride of opulence and security. + +"Tiberge was in the habit, at this period, of paying me frequent +visits. He was never tired of his moral lectures. Over and over again +did he represent to me the injury I was inflicting upon my conscience, +my honour, and my fortune. I received all his advice kindly, and +although I had not the smallest inclination to adopt it, I had no doubt +of its sincerity, for I knew its source. Sometimes I rallied him +good-humouredly, and entreated him not to be more tight-laced than some +other priests were, and even bishops, who by no means considered a +mistress incompatible with a good and holy life.' 'Look,' I said, 'at +Manon's eyes, and tell me if there is one in the long catalogue of sins +that might not there find a plea of justification.' He bore these +sallies patiently, and carried his forbearance almost too far: but when +he saw my funds increase, and that I had not only returned him the +hundred and seventy crowns, but having hired a new house and trebled my +expenses, I had plunged deeper than ever into a life of pleasure, he +changed his tone and manner towards me. He lamented my obduracy. He +warned me against the chastisement of the Divine wrath, and predicted +some of the miseries with which indeed I was shortly afterwards +visited. 'It is impossible,' he said, 'that the money which now serves +to support your debaucheries can have been acquired honourably. You +have come by it unjustly, and in the same way shall it be taken from +you. The most awful punishment Heaven could inflict would be to allow +you the undisturbed enjoyment of it. All my advice,' he added, 'has +been useless; I too plainly perceive that it will shortly become +troublesome to you. I now take my leave; you are a weak, as well as an +ungrateful friend! May your criminal enjoyments vanish as a shadow! +may your ill-gotten wealth leave you without a resource; and may you +yourself remain alone and deserted, to learn the vanity of these +things, which now divert you from better pursuits! When that time +arrives, you will find me disposed to love and to serve you; this day +ends our intercourse, and I once for all avow my horror of the life you +are leading.' + +"It was in my room and in Manon's presence that he delivered this +apostolical harangue. He rose to depart. I was about to detain him; +but was prevented by Manon, who said it was better to let the madman go. + +"What he said, however, did not fail to make some impression upon me. +I notice these brief passages of my life when I experienced a returning +sentiment of virtue, because it was to those traces, however light, +that I was afterwards indebted for whatever of fortitude I displayed +under the most trying circumstances. + +"Manon's caresses soon dissipated the annoyance this scene had caused +me. We continued to lead a life entirely devoted to pleasure and love. +The increase of our wealth only redoubled our affection. There were none +happier among all the devotees of Venus and Fortune. Heavens! why call +this a world of misery, when it can furnish a life of such rapturous +enjoyment? But alas, it is too soon over! For what ought man to sigh, +could such felicity but last for ever? Ours shared the common fate--in +being of short duration, and followed by lasting regrets. + +"I had realised by play such a considerable sum of money, that I +thought of investing a portion of it. My servants were not ignorant of +my good luck, particularly my valet and Manon's own maid, before whom +we often talked without any reserve. The maid was handsome, and my +valet in love with her. They knew they had to deal with a young and +inexperienced couple, whom they fancied they could impose upon without +much difficulty. They laid a plan, and executed it with so much skill, +that they reduced us to a state from which it was never afterwards +possible for us to extricate ourselves. + +"Having supped one evening at Lescaut's, it was about midnight when we +returned home. I asked for my valet, and Manon for her maid; neither +one nor the other could be found. They had not been seen in the house +since eight o'clock, and had gone out, after having some cases carried +before them, according to orders which they pretended to have received +from me. I at once foresaw a part of the truth, but my suspicions were +infinitely surpassed by what presented itself on going into my room. +The lock of my closet had been forced, and my cash as well as my best +clothes were gone. While I stood stupefied with amazement, Manon came, +in the greatest alarm, to inform me that her apartment had been rifled +in the same manner. + +"This blow was so perfectly astounding, so cruel, that it was with +difficulty I could refrain from tears. The dread of infecting Manon +with my despair made me assume a more contented air. I said, smiling, +that I should avenge myself upon some unhappy dupe at the hotel of +Transylvania. However, she appeared so sensibly affected, that her +grief increased my sorrow infinitely more than my attempt succeeded in +supporting her spirits. 'We are destroyed!' said she, with tears in +her eyes. I endeavoured, in vain, by my entreaties and caresses, to +console her. My own lamentations betrayed my distress and despair. In +fact, we were so completely ruined, that we were bereft almost of +decent covering. + +"I determined to send off at once for Lescaut. He advised me to go +immediately to the lieutenant of police, and to give information also +to the Grand Provost of Paris. I went, but it was to add to my +calamities only; for, independently of my visit producing not the +smallest good effect, I, by my absence, allowed Lescaut time for +discussion with his sister, during which he did not fail to inspire her +with the most horrible resolutions. He spoke to her about M. G---- +M----, an old voluptuary, who paid prodigally for his pleasures; he so +glowingly described the advantages of such a connection, that she +entered into all his plans. This discreditable arrangement was all +concluded before my return, and the execution of it only postponed till +the next morning, after Lescaut should have apprised G---- M----. + +"I found him, on my return, waiting for me at my house; but Manon had +retired to her own apartment, and she had desired the footman to tell +me that, having need of repose, she hoped she should not be disturbed +that night. Lescaut left me, after offering me a few crowns which I +accepted. + +"It was nearly four o'clock when I retired to bed; and having revolved +in my mind various schemes for retrieving my fortunes, I fell asleep so +late that I did not awake till between eleven and twelve o'clock. I +rose at once to enquire after Manon's health; they told me that she had +gone out an hour before with her brother, who had come for her in a +hired carriage. Although there appeared something mysterious in such a +proceeding, I endeavoured to check my rising suspicions. I allowed +some hours to pass, during which I amused myself with reading. At +length, being unable any longer to stifle my uneasiness, I paced up and +down the apartments. A sealed letter upon Manon's table at last caught +my eye. It was addressed to me, and in her handwriting. I felt my +blood freeze as I opened it; it was in these words: + + +I protest to you, dearest chevalier, that you are the idol of my heart, +and that you are the only being on earth whom I can truly love; but do +you not see, my own poor dear chevalier, that in the situation to which +we are now reduced, fidelity would be worse than madness? Do you think +tenderness possibly compatible with starvation? For my part, hunger +would be sure to drive me to some fatal end. Heaving some day a sigh +for love, I should find it was my last. I adore you, rely upon that; +but leave to me, for a short while, the management of our fortunes. +God help the man who falls into my hands. My only wish is to render my +chevalier rich and happy. My brother will tell you about me; he can +vouch for my grief in yielding to the necessity of parting from you. + + +"I remained, after reading this, in a state which it would be difficult +to describe; for even now I know not the nature of the feelings which +then agitated me. It was one of those unique situations of which +others can never have experienced anything even approaching to +similarity. It is impossible to explain it, because other persons can +have no idea of its nature; and one can hardly even analyse it to +oneself. Memory furnishes nothing that will connect it with the past, +and therefore ordinary language is inadequate to describe it. Whatever +was its nature, however, it is certain that grief, hate, jealousy, and +shame entered into its composition. Fortunate would it have proved for +me if love also had not been a component part! + +"'That she loves me,' I exclaimed, 'I can believe; but could she, +without being a monster, hate me? What right can man ever have to +woman's affections which I had not to Manon's? What is left to me, +after all the sacrifices I have made for her sake? Yet she abandons me, +and the ungrateful creature thinks to screen herself from my reproaches +by professions of love! She pretends to dread starvation! God of +love, what grossness of sentiment! What an answer to the refinement of +my adoration! I had no dread of that kind; I, who have almost sought +starvation for her sake, by renouncing fortune and the comforts of my +father's house! I, who denied myself actual necessaries, in order to +gratify her little whims and caprices! She adores me, she says. If +you adored me, ungrateful creature, I well know what course you would +have taken; you would never have quitted me, at least without saying +adieu. It is only I who can tell the pangs and torments, of being +separated from all one loves. I must have taken leave of my senses, to +have voluntarily brought all this misery upon myself.' + +"My lamentations were interrupted by a visit I little expected; it was +from Lescaut. 'Assassin!' cried I, putting my hand upon my sword, +'where is Manon? what have you done with her?' My agitation startled +him. He replied, that if this was the reception he was to meet, when +he came to offer me the most essential service it was in his power to +render me, he should take his leave, and never again cross my +threshold. I ran to the door of the apartment, which I shut. 'Do not +imagine,' I said, turning towards him, 'that you can once more make a +dupe of me with your lies and inventions. Either defend your life, or +tell me where I can find Manon.' 'How impatient you are!' replied he; +'that was in reality the object of my visit. I came to announce a +piece of good fortune which you little expected, and for which you will +probably feel somewhat grateful.' My curiosity was at once excited. + +"He informed me that Manon, totally unable to endure the dread of want, +and, above all, the certainty of being at once obliged to dispense with +her equipage, had begged of him to make her acquainted with M. G---- +M----, who had a character for liberality. He carefully avoided +telling me that this was the result of his own advice, and that he had +prepared the way before he introduced his sister. 'I took her there +this morning,' said he, 'and the fellow was so enchanted with her looks +that he at once invited her to accompany him to his country seat, where +he is gone to pass some days. As I plainly perceived,' said Lescaut, +'the advantage it may be to you, I took care to let him know that she +had lately experienced very considerable losses; and I so piqued his +generosity that he began by giving her four hundred crowns. I told him +that was well enough for a commencement, but that my sister would have, +for the future, many demands for money; that she had the charge of a +young brother, who had been thrown upon her hands since the death of +our parents; and that, if he wished to prove himself worthy of her +affections, he would not allow her to suffer uneasiness upon account of +this child, whom she regarded as part of herself. This speech produced +its effect, he at once promised to take a house for you and Manon, for +you must know that you are the poor little orphan. He undertook to set +you up in furniture, and to give you four hundred livres a month, which +if I calculate rightly, will amount to four thousand eight hundred per +annum. He left orders with his steward to look out for a house, and to +have it in readiness by the time he returned. You will soon, +therefore, again see Manon, who begged of me to give you a thousand +tender messages, and to assure you that she loves you more dearly than +ever.'" + + + +V + + Infected with that leprosy of lust, + Which taints the hoariest years of vicious men + Making them ransack to the very last + The dregs of pleasure for their vanished joys. + BYRON. + + +"On sitting down to reflect upon this strange turn of fate, I found +myself so perplexed, and consequently so incapable of arriving at any +rational conclusion, that I allowed Lescaut to put repeated questions +to me without in the slightest degree attending to their purport. It +was then that honour and virtue made me feel the most poignant remorse, +and that I recalled with bitterness Amiens, my father's house, St. +Sulpice, and every spot where I had ever lived in happy innocence. By +what a terrific interval was I now separated from that blessed state! +I beheld it no longer but as a dim shadow in the distance, still +attracting my regrets and desires, but without the power of rousing me +to exertion. 'By what fatality,' said I, 'have I become thus degraded? +Love is not a guilty passion! why then has it been to me the source of +profligacy and distress? Who prevented me from leading a virtuous and +tranquil life with Manon? Why did I not marry her before I obtained +any concession from her love? Would not my father, who had the +tenderest regard for me, have given his consent, if I had taken the +fair and candid course of soliciting him? Yes, my father would himself +have cherished her as one far too good to be his son's wife! I should +have been happy in the love of Manon, in the affection of my father, in +the esteem of the world, with a moderate portion of the good things of +life, and above all with the consciousness of virtue. Disastrous +change! Into what an infamous character is it here proposed that I +should sink? To share---- But can I hesitate, if Manon herself +suggests it, and if I am to lose her except upon such conditions? +'Lescaut,' said I, putting my hands to my eyes as if to shut out such a +horrifying vision, 'if your intention was to render me a service, I +give you thanks. You might perhaps have struck out a more reputable +course, but it is so settled, is it not? Let us then only think of +profiting by your labour, and fulfilling your engagements.' + +"Lescaut, who had been considerably embarrassed, not only by my fury, +but by the long silence which followed it, was too happy to see me now +take a course so different from what he had anticipated. He had not a +particle of courage, of which indeed I have, in the sequel of my story, +abundant proof. 'Yes, yes,' he quickly answered, 'it is good service I +have rendered you, and you will find that we shall derive infinitely +more advantage from it than you now expect.' We consulted then as to +the best mode of preventing the suspicions which G---- M---- might +entertain of our relationship, when he found me older and of riper +manhood than he probably imagined. The only plan we could hit upon was +to assume in his presence an innocent and provincial air, and to +persuade him that it was my intention to enter the Church, and that +with that view I was obliged to go every day to the college. We also +determined that I should appear as awkward as I possibly could the +first time I was admitted to the honour of an introduction. + +"He returned to town three or four days after, and at once conducted +Manon to the house which his steward had in the meantime prepared. She +immediately apprised Lescaut of her return, and he having informed me, +we went together to her new abode. The old lover had already gone out. + +"In spite of the submission with which I had resigned myself to her +wishes, I could not, at our meeting, repress the compunctious visitings +of my conscience. I appeared before her grieved and dejected. The joy +I felt at seeing her once more could not altogether dispel my sorrow +for her infidelity: she, on the contrary, appeared transported with the +pleasure of seeing me. She accused me of coldness. I could not help +muttering the words perfidious and unfaithful, though they were +profusely mixed with sighs. + +"At first she laughed at me for my simplicity; but when she found that +I continued to look at her with an unchanging expression of melancholy, +and that I could not bring myself to enter with alacrity into a scene +so repugnant to all my feelings, she went alone into her boudoir. I +very soon followed her, and then I found her in a flood of tears. I +asked the cause of her sorrow. 'You can easily understand it,' said +she; 'how can you wish me to live, if my presence can no longer have +any other effect than to give you an air of sadness and chagrin? Not +one kiss have you given me during the long hour you have been in the +house, while you have received my caresses with the dignified +indifference of a Grand Turk, receiving the forced homage of the +Sultanas of his harem.' + +"'Hearken to me, Manon,' said I, embracing her; 'I cannot conceal from +you that my heart is bitterly afflicted. I do not now allude to the +uneasiness your sudden flight caused me, nor to the unkindness of +quitting me without a word of consolation, after having passed the +night away from me. The pleasure of seeing you again would more than +compensate for all; but do you imagine that I can reflect without sighs +and tears upon the degrading and unhappy life which you now wish me to +lead in this house? Say nothing of my birth, or of my feelings of +honour; love like mine derives no aid from arguments of that feeble +nature; but do you imagine that I can without emotion see my love so +badly recompensed, or rather so cruelly treated, by an ungrateful and +unfeeling mistress?' + +"She interrupted me. 'Stop, chevalier,' said she, 'it is useless to +torture me with reproaches, which, coming from you, always pierce my +heart. I see what annoys you. I had hoped that you would have agreed +to the project which I had devised for mending our shattered fortunes, +and it was from a feeling of delicacy to you that I began the execution +of it without your assistance; but I give it up since it does not meet +your approbation.' She added that she would now merely request a +little patient forbearance during the remainder of the day; that she +had already received five hundred crowns from the old gentleman, and +that he had promised to bring her that evening a magnificent pearl +necklace with other jewels, and, in advance, half of the yearly pension +he had engaged to allow her. 'Leave me only time enough,' said she to +me, to get possession of these presents; I promise you that he will +have little to boast of from his connection with me, for in the country +I repulsed all his advances, putting him off till our return to town. +It is true that he has kissed my hand a thousand times over, and it is +but just that he should pay for even this amusement: I am sure that, +considering his riches as well as his age, five or six thousand francs +is not an unreasonable price!' + +"Her determination was of more value in my eyes than twenty thousand +crowns. I could feel that I was not yet bereft of every sentiment of +honour, by the satisfaction I experienced at escaping thus from infamy. +But I was born for brief joys, and miseries of long duration. Fate +never rescued me from one precipice, but to lead me to another. When I +had expressed my delight to Manon at this change in her intentions, I +told her she had better inform Lescaut of it, in order that we might +take our measures in concert. At first he murmured, but the money in +hand induced him to enter into our views. It was then determined that +we should all meet at G---- M----'s supper table, and that, for two +reasons: first, for the amusement of passing me off as a schoolboy, and +brother to Manon; and secondly, to prevent the old profligate from +taking any liberties with his mistress, on the strength of his liberal +payments in advance. Lescaut and I were to retire, when he went to the +room where he expected to pass the night; and Manon, instead of +following him, promised to come out, and join us. Lescaut undertook to +have a coach waiting at the door. + +"The supper hour having arrived, M. G---- M---- made his appearance. +Already Lescaut was with his sister in the supper room. The moment the +lover entered, he presented his fair one with a complete set of pearls, +necklaces, ear-rings, and bracelets, which must have cost at least a +thousand crowns. He then placed on the table before her, in louis +d'or, two thousand four hundred francs, the half of her year's +allowance. He seasoned his present with many pretty speeches in the +true style of the old court. Manon could not refuse him a few kisses: +it was sealing her right to the money which he had just handed to her. +I was at the door, and waiting for Lescaut's signal to enter the room. + +"He approached to take me by the hand, while Manon was securing the +money and jewels, and leading me towards M. G---- M----, he desired me +to make my bow. I made two or three most profound ones. 'Pray excuse +him, sir,' said Lescaut, 'he is a mere child. He has not yet acquired +much of the ton of Paris; but no doubt with a little trouble we shall +improve him. You will often have the honour of seeing that gentleman, +here,' said he, turning towards me: 'take advantage of it, and +endeavour to imitate so good a model.' + +"The old libertine appeared to be pleased with me. He patted me on the +cheek, saying that I was a fine boy, but that I should be on my guard +in Paris, where young men were easily debauched. Lescaut assured him +that I was naturally of so grave a character that I thought of nothing +but becoming a clergyman, and that, even as a child, my favourite +amusement was building little chapels. 'I fancy a likeness to Manon,' +said the old gentleman, putting his hand under my chin. I answered +him, with the most simple air-- 'Sir, the fact is, that we are very +closely connected, and I love my sister as another portion of myself.' +'Do you hear that,' said he to Lescaut; 'he is indeed a clever boy! It +is a pity he should not see something of the world.' 'Oh, sir,' I +replied, 'I have seen a great deal of it at home, attending church, and +I believe I might find in Paris some greater fools than myself.' +'Listen,' said he; 'it is positively wonderful in a boy from the +country.' + +"The whole conversation during supper was of the same kind. Manon, with +her usual gaiety, was several times on the point of spoiling the joke +by her bursts of laughter. I contrived, while eating, to recount his +own identical history, and to paint even the fate that awaited him. +Lescaut and Manon were in an agony of fear during my recital, +especially while I was drawing his portrait to the life: but his own +vanity prevented him from recognising it, and I did it so well that he +was the first to pronounce it extremely laughable. You will allow that +I had reason for dwelling on this ridiculous scene. + +"At length it was time to retire. He hinted at the impatience of love. +Lescaut and I took our departure. G---- M---- went to his room, and +Manon, making some excuse for her absence, came to join us at the gate. +The coach, that was waiting for us a few doors off, drove up towards +us, and we were out of the street in an instant. + +"Although I must confess that this proceeding appeared to me little +short of actual robbery, it was not the most dishonest one with which I +thought I had to reproach myself. I had more scruples about the money +which I had won at play. However, we derived as little advantage from +one as from the other; and Heaven sometimes ordains that the lightest +fault shall meet the severest punishment. + +"M. G---- M---- was not long in finding out that he had been duped. I +am not sure whether he took any steps that night to discover us, but he +had influence enough to ensure an effectual pursuit, and we were +sufficiently imprudent to rely upon the extent of Paris and the +distance between our residence and his. Not only did he discover our +abode and our circumstances, but also who I was--the life that I had +led in Paris--Manon's former connection with B----,--the manner in +which she had deceived him: in a word, all the scandalous facts of our +history. He therefore resolved to have us apprehended, and treated +less as criminals than as vagabonds. An officer came abruptly one +morning into our bedroom, with half a dozen archers of the guard. They +first took possession of our money, or I should rather say, of +G----M----'s. They made us quickly get up, and conducted us to the +door, where we found two coaches, into one of which they forced poor +Manon, without any explanation, and I was taken in the other to St. +Lazare. + +"One must have experienced this kind of reverse, to understand the +despair that is caused by it. The police were savage enough to deny me +the consolation of embracing Manon, or of bidding her farewell. I +remained for a long time ignorant of her fate. It was perhaps +fortunate for me that I was kept in a state of ignorance, for had I +known what she suffered, I should have lost my senses, probably my life. + +"My unhappy mistress was dragged then from my presence, and taken to a +place the very name of which fills me with horror to remember. This to +be the lot of a creature the most perfect, who must have shared the +most splendid throne on earth, if other men had only seen and felt as I +did! She was not treated harshly there, but was shut up in a narrow +prison, and obliged, in solitary confinement, to perform a certain +quantity of work each day, as a necessary condition for obtaining the +most unpalatable food. I did not learn this till a long time after, +when I had myself endured some months of rough and cruel treatment. + +"My guards not having told me where it was that they had been ordered +to conduct me, it was only on my arrival at St. Lazare that I learned +my destination. I would have preferred death, at that moment, to the +state into which I believed myself about to be thrown. I had the +utmost terror of this place. My misery was increased by the guards on +my entrance, examining once more my pockets, to ascertain whether I had +about me any arms or weapons of defence. + +"The governor appeared. He had been informed of my apprehension. He +saluted me with great mildness. 'Do not, my good sir,' said I to him, +'allow me to be treated with indignity. I would suffer a hundred deaths +rather than quietly submit to degrading treatment.' 'No, no,' he +replied, 'you will act quietly and prudently, and we shall be mutually +content with each other.' He begged of me to ascend to one of the +highest rooms; I followed him without a murmur. The archers +accompanied us to the door, and the governor, entering the room, made a +sign for them to depart. 'I am your prisoner, I suppose?' said I; +'well, what do you intend to do with me?' He said, he was delighted to +see me adopt so reasonable a tone; that it would be his duty to +endeavour to inspire me with a taste for virtue and religion, and mine +to profit by his exhortations and advice: that lightly as I might be +disposed to rate his attentions to me, I should find nothing but +enjoyment in my solitude. 'Ah, enjoyment, indeed!' replied I; 'you do +not know, my good sir, the only thing on earth that could afford me +enjoyment.' 'I know it,' said he, 'but I trust your inclinations will +change.' His answer showed that he had heard of my adventures, and +perhaps of my name. I begged to know if such were the fact. He told +me candidly that they had informed him of every particular. + +"This blow was the severest of any I had yet experienced. I literally +shed a torrent of tears, in all the bitterness of unmixed despair; I +could not reconcile myself to the humiliation which would make me a +proverb to all my acquaintances, and the disgrace of my family. I +passed a week in the most profound dejection, without being capable of +gaining any information, or of occupying myself with anything but my +own degradation. The remembrance even of Manon added nothing to my +grief; it only occurred to me as a circumstance that had preceded my +new sorrow; and the sense of shame and confusion was at present the +all-absorbing passion. + +"There are few persons who have experienced the force of these special +workings of the mind. The generality of men are only sensible of five +or six passions, in the limited round of which they pass their lives, +and within which all their agitations are confined. Remove them from +the influence of love and hate, pleasure and pain, hope and fear, and +they have no further feeling. But persons of a finer cast can be +affected in a thousand different ways; it would almost seem that they +had more than five senses, and that they are accessible to ideas and +sensations which far exceed the ordinary faculties of human nature; +and, conscious that they possess a capacity which raises them above the +common herd, there is nothing of which they are more jealous. Hence +springs their impatience under contempt and ridicule; and hence it is +that a sense of debasement is perhaps the most violent of all their +emotions. + +"I had this melancholy advantage at St. Lazare. My grief appeared to +the governor so excessive, that, dreading the consequences, he thought +he was bound to treat me with more mildness and indulgence. He visited +me two or three times a day; he often made me take a turn with him in +the garden, and showed his interest for me in his exhortations and good +advice. I listened always attentively; and warmly expressed my sense +of his kindness, from which he derived hopes of my ultimate conversion. + +"'You appear to me,' said he one day, 'of a disposition so mild and +tractable, that I cannot comprehend the excesses into which you have +fallen. Two things astonish me: one is, how, with your good qualities, +you could have ever abandoned yourself to vice; and the other, which +amazes me still more, is, how you can receive with such perfect temper +my advice and instructions, after having lived so long in a course of +debauchery. If it be sincere repentance, you present a singular +example of the benign mercy of Heaven; if it proceed from the natural +goodness of your disposition, then you certainly have that within you +which warrants the hope that a protracted residence in this place will +not be required to bring you back to a regular and respectable life.' + +"I was delighted to find that he had such an opinion of me. I resolved +to strengthen it by a continuance of good conduct, convinced that it +was the surest means of abridging the term of my confinement. I begged +of him to furnish me with books. He was agreeably surprised to find +that when he requested me to say what I should prefer, I mentioned only +some religious and instructive works. I pretended to devote myself +assiduously to study, and I thus gave him convincing proof of the moral +reformation he was so anxious to bring about. It was nothing, however, +but rank hypocrisy--I blush to confess it. Instead of studying, when +alone I did nothing but curse my destiny. I lavished the bitterest +execrations on my prison, and the tyrants who detained me there. If I +ceased for a moment from these lamentations, it was only to relapse +into the tormenting remembrance of my fatal and unhappy love. Manon's +absence--the mystery in which her fate was veiled--the dread of never +again beholding her; these formed the subject of my melancholy +thoughts. I fancied her in the arms of G---- M----. Far from +imagining that he could have been brute enough to subject her to the +same treatment to which I was condemned, I felt persuaded that he had +only procured my removal, in order that he might possess her in +undisturbed enjoyment. + +"Oh! how miserable were the days and nights I thus passed! They seemed +to be of endless duration. My only hope of escape now, was in +hypocrisy; I scrutinised the countenance, and carefully marked every +observation that fell from the governor, in order to ascertain what he +really thought of me; and looking on him as the sole arbiter of my +future fate, I made it my study to win, if possible, his favour. I +soon had the satisfaction to find that I was firmly established in his +good graces, and no longer doubted his disposition to befriend me. + +"I, one day, ventured to ask him whether my liberation depended on him. +He replied that it was not altogether in his hands, but that he had no +doubt that on his representation M. G---- M----, at whose instance the +lieutenant-general of police had ordered me to be confined, would +consent to my being set at liberty. 'May I flatter myself,' rejoined +I, in the mildest tone, 'that he will consider two months, which I have +now spent in this prison, as a sufficient atonement?' He offered to +speak to him, if I wished it. I implored him without delay to do me +that favour. + +"He told me two days afterwards that G---- M---- was so sensibly +affected by what he had heard, that he not only was ready to consent to +my liberation, but that he had even expressed a strong desire to become +better acquainted with me, and that he himself purposed to pay me a +visit in prison. Although his presence could not afford me much +pleasure, I looked upon it as a certain prelude to my liberation. + +"He accordingly came to St. Lazare. I met him with an air more grave +and certainly less silly than I had exhibited at his house with Manon. +He spoke reasonably enough of my former bad conduct. He added, as if to +excuse his own delinquencies, that it was graciously permitted to the +weakness of man to indulge in certain pleasures, almost, indeed, +prompted by nature, but that dishonesty and such shameful practices +ought to be, and always would be, inexorably punished. + +"I listened to all he said with an air of submission, which quite +charmed him. I betrayed no symptoms of annoyance even at some jokes in +which he indulged about my relationship with Manon and Lescaut, and +about the little chapels of which he supposed I must have had time to +erect a great many in St. Lazare, as I was so fond of that occupation. +But he happened, unluckily both for me and for himself, to add, that he +hoped Manon had also employed herself in the same edifying manner at +the Magdalen. Notwithstanding the thrill of horror I felt at the sound +of the name, I had still presence of mind enough to beg, in the +gentlest manner, that he would explain himself. 'Oh! yes,' he replied, +'she has been these last two months at the Magdalen learning to be +prudent, and I trust she has improved herself as much there, as you +have done at St. Lazare!' + +"If an eternal imprisonment, or death itself, had been presented to my +view, I could not have restrained the excitement into which this +afflicting announcement threw me. I flung myself upon him in so +violent a rage that half my strength was exhausted by the effort. I +had, however, more than enough left to drag him to the ground, and +grasp him by the throat. I should infallibly have strangled him, if +his fall, and the half-stifled cries which he had still the power to +utter, had not attracted the governor and several of the priests to my +room. They rescued him from my fury. + +"I was, myself, breathless and almost impotent from rage. 'Oh God!' I +cried--'Heavenly justice! Must I survive this infamy?' I tried again +to seize the barbarian who had thus roused my indignation--they +prevented me. My despair--my cries--my tears, exceeded all belief: I +raved in so incoherent a manner that all the bystanders, who were +ignorant of the cause, looked at each other with as much dread as +surprise. + +"G---- M---- in the meantime adjusted his wig and cravat, and in his +anger at having been so ill-treated, ordered me to be kept under more +severe restraint than before, and to be punished in the manner usual +with offenders in St. Lazare. 'No, sir!' said the governor, 'it is not +with a person of his birth that we are in the habit of using such means +of coercion; besides, he is habitually so mild and well-conducted, that +I cannot but think you must have given provocation for such excessive +violence.' This reply disconcerted G---- M---- beyond measure and he +went away, declaring that he knew how to be revenged on the governor, +as well as on me, and everyone else who dared to thwart him. + +"The Superior, having ordered some of the brotherhood to escort him out +of the prison, remained alone with me. He conjured me to tell him at +once what was the cause of the fracas.--'Oh, my good sir!' said I to +him, continuing to cry like a child, 'imagine the most horrible +cruelty, figure to yourself the most inhuman of atrocities--that is +what G---- M---- has had the cowardly baseness to perpetrate: he has +pierced my heart. Never shall I recover from this blow! I would +gladly tell you the whole circumstance,' added I, sobbing with grief; +'you are kind-hearted, and cannot fail to pity me.' + +"I gave him, as briefly as I could, a history of my long-standing and +insurmountable passion for Manon, of the flourishing condition of our +fortunes previous to the robbery committed by our servants, of the +offers which G---- M---- had made to my mistress, of the understanding +they had come to, and the manner in which it had been defeated. To be +sure, I represented things to him in as favourable a light for us as +possible. 'Now you can comprehend,' continued I, 'the source of M. +G---- M----'s holy zeal for my conversion. He has had influence enough +to have me shut up here, out of mere revenge. That I can pardon; but, +my good sir, that is not all. He has taken from me my heart's blood: +he has had Manon shamefully incarcerated in the Magdalen; and had the +effrontery to announce it to me this day with his own lips. In the +Magdalen, good sir! Oh heavens! my adorable mistress, my beloved Manon, +a degraded inmate of the Hospital! How shall I command strength of +mind enough to survive this grief and shame!' + +"The good Father, seeing me in such affliction, endeavoured to console +me. He told me that he had never understood my history, as I just now +related it; he had of course known that I led a dissolute life, but he +had imagined that M. G---- M----'s interest about me was the result of +his esteem and friendship for my family; that it was in this sense he +had explained the matter to him; that what I had now told him should +assuredly produce a change in my treatment, and that he had no doubt +but the accurate detail which he should immediately transmit to the +lieutenant-general of police would bring about my liberation. + +"He then enquired why I had never thought of informing my family of +what had taken place, since they had not been instrumental to my +incarceration. I satisfactorily answered this by stating my +unwillingness to cause my father pain, or to bring upon myself the +humiliation of such an exposure. In the end, he promised to go +directly to the lieutenant-general of police if it were only, said he, +to be beforehand with M. G---- M----, who went off in such a rage, and +who had sufficient influence to make himself formidable. + +"I looked for the good Father's return with all the suspense of a man +expecting sentence of death. It was torture to me to think of Manon at +the Magdalen. Besides the infamy of such a prison, I knew not how she +might be treated there; and the recollection of some particulars I had +formerly heard of this horrible place, incessantly renewed my misery. +Cost what it might, I was so bent upon relieving her by some means or +other, that I should assuredly have set fire to St. Lazare, if no other +mode of escape had presented itself. + +"I considered what chances would remain to me if the lieutenant-general +still kept me in confinement. I taxed my ingenuity: I scanned every +imaginable gleam of hope--I could discover nothing that gave me any +prospect of escape, and I feared that I should experience only more +rigid confinement, if I made an unsuccessful attempt. I thought of +some friends from whom I might hope for aid, but then, how was I to +make them aware of my situation? At length I fancied that I had hit +upon a plan so ingenious, as to offer a fair probability of success. I +postponed the details of its arrangement until after the Superior's +return, in case of his having failed in the object of his visit. + +"He soon arrived: I did not observe upon his countenance any of those +marks of joy that indicate good news. 'I have spoken,' said he, 'to +the lieutenant-general of police, but I was too late, M. G---- M---- +went straight to him after quitting us, and so prejudiced him against +you, that he was on the point of sending me fresh instructions to +subject you to closer confinement. + +"'However, when I let him know the truth of your story, he reconsidered +the matter, and, smiling at the incontinence of old G---- M----, he +said it would be necessary to keep you here for six months longer, in +order to pacify him; the less to be lamented,' he added, 'because your +morals would be sure to benefit by your residence here. He desired +that I would show you every kindness and attention, and I need not +assure you that you shall have no reason to complain of your treatment.' + +"This speech of the Superior's was long enough to afford me time to +form a prudent resolution. I saw that by betraying too strong an +impatience for my liberty, I should probably be upsetting all my +projects. I acknowledged to him, that, as it was necessary to me to +remain, it was an infinite comfort to know that I possessed a place in +his esteem. I then requested, and with unaffected sincerity, a favour, +which could be of no consequence to others, and which would contribute +much to my peace of mind; it was to inform a friend of mine, a devout +clergyman, who lived at St. Sulpice, that I was at St. Lazare, and to +permit me occasionally to receive his visits. + +"This was of course my friend Tiberge; not that I could hope from him +the assistance necessary for effecting my liberty; but I wished to make +him the unconscious instrument of my designs. In a word, this was my +project: I wished to write to Lescaut, and to charge him and our common +friends with the task of my deliverance. The first difficulty was to +have my letter conveyed to him: this should be Tiberge's office. +However, as he knew him to be Manon's brother, I doubted whether he +would take charge of this commission. My plan was to enclose my letter +to Lescaut in another to some respectable man of my acquaintance, +begging of him to transmit the first to its address without delay; and +as it was necessary that I should have personal communication with +Lescaut, in order to arrange our proceedings, I told him to call on me +at St. Lazare, and assume the name of my eldest brother, as if he had +come to Paris expressly to see me. I postponed till our meeting all +mention of the safest and most expeditious course I intended to suggest +for our future conduct. The governor informed Tiberge of my wish to +see him. This ever-faithful friend had not so entirely lost sight of +me as to be ignorant of my present abode, and it is probable that, in +his heart, he did not regret the circumstance, from an idea that it +might furnish the means of my moral regeneration. He lost no time in +paying me the desired visit." + + + +VI + + +It is a strange thing to note the excess of this passion; and how it +braves the nature and value of things, by this--that the speaking in a +perpetual hyperbole is comely in nothing but in love.--BACON. + + +"My interview with Tiberge was of the most friendly description. I saw +that his object was to discover the present temper of my mind. I +opened my heart to him without any reserve, except as to the mere point +of my intention of escaping. 'It is not from such a friend as you,' +said I, 'that I can ever wish to dissemble my real feelings. If you +flattered yourself with a hope that you were at last about to find me +grown prudent and regular in my conduct, a libertine reclaimed by the +chastisements of fortune, released alike from the trammels of love, and +the dominion that Manon wields over me, I must in candour say, that you +deceive yourself. You still behold me, as you left me four months ago, +the slave--if you will, the unhappy slave--of a passion, from which I +now hope, as fervently and as confidently as I ever did, to derive +eventually solid comfort.' + +"He answered, that such an acknowledgment rendered me utterly +inexcusable; that it was no uncommon case to meet sinners who allowed +themselves to be so dazzled with the glare of vice as to prefer it +openly to the true splendour of virtue; they were at least deluded by +the false image of happiness, the poor dupes of an empty shadow; but to +know and feel as I did, that the object of my attachment was only +calculated to render me culpable and unhappy, and to continue thus +voluntarily in a career of misery and crime, involved a contradiction +of ideas and of conduct little creditable to my reason. + +"'Tiberge,' replied I, 'it is easy to triumph when your arguments are +unopposed. Allow me to reason for a few moments in my turn. Can you +pretend that what you call the happiness of virtue is exempt from +troubles, and crosses, and cares? By what name will you designate the +dungeon, the rack, the inflections and tortures of tyrants? Will you +say with the Mystics[1] that the soul derives pleasure from the +torments of the body? You are not bold enough to hold such a +doctrine--a paradox not to be maintained. This happiness, then, that +you prize so much, has a thousand drawbacks, or is, more properly +speaking, but a tissue of sufferings through which one hopes to attain +felicity. If by the power of imagination one can even derive pleasure +from these sufferings, hoping that they may lead to a happy end, why, +let me ask, do you deem my conduct senseless, when it is directed by +precisely the same principle? I love Manon: I wade through sorrow and +suffering in order to attain happiness with her. My path is one indeed +of difficulties, but the mere hope of reaching the desired goal makes +it easy and delightful; and I shall think myself but too bountifully +repaid by one moment of her society, for all the troubles I encounter +in my course. There appears therefore no difference between us, or, if +there be any, it is assuredly in my favour; for the bliss I hope for is +near and tangible, yours is far distant, and purely speculative. Mine +is of the same kind as my sufferings, that is to say, evident to my +senses; yours is of an incomprehensible nature, and only discernible +through the dim medium of faith.' + +"Tiberge appeared shocked by my remarks. He retired two or three paces +from me, while he said, in the most serious tone, that my argument was +not only a violation of good sense, but that it was the miserable +sophistry of irreligion; 'for the comparison,' he added, 'of the +pitiful reward of your sufferings with that held out to us by the +divine revelation, is the essence of impiety and absurdity combined.' + +"'I acknowledge,' said I, 'that the comparison is not a just one, but +my argument does not at all depend upon it. I was about to explain +what you consider a contradiction--the persevering in a painful +pursuit; and I think I have satisfactorily proved, that if there be any +contradiction in that, we shall be both equally obnoxious to the +charge. It was in this light, only, that I could observe no difference +in our cases, and I cannot as yet perceive any. + +"'You may probably answer, that the proposed end, the promised reward, +of virtue, is infinitely superior to that of love? No one disputes it, +but that is not the question--we are only discussing the relative aid +they both afford in the endurance of affliction. Judge of that by the +practical effect: are there not multitudes who abandon a life of strict +virtue? how few give up the pursuits of love! + +"'Again, you will reply that if there be difficulties in the exercise +of virtue, they are by no means universal and sure; that the good man +does not necessarily meet tyrants and tortures, and that, on the +contrary, a life of virtue is perfectly compatible with repose and +enjoyment. I can say with equal truth, that love is often accompanied +by content and happiness; and what makes another distinction of +infinite advantage to my argument, I may add that love, though it often +deludes, never holds out other than hopes of bliss and joy, whilst +religion exacts from her votaries mortification and sorrow. + +"'Do not be alarmed,' said I, perceiving that I had almost offended his +zealous feelings of devotion. 'I only wish to say, that there is no +more unsuccessful method of weaning man's heart from love, than by +endeavouring to decry its enjoyments, and by promising him more +pleasure from the exercise of virtue. It is an inherent principle in +our nature, that our felicity consists only in pleasure. I defy you to +conceive any other notion of it; and it requires little time to arrive +at the conviction, that, of all pleasures, those of love are +immeasurably the most enchanting. A man quickly discerns the delusion, +when he hears the promise made of livelier enjoyment, and the effect of +such misrepresentation is only to make him doubt the truth of a more +solid promise. + +"'Let the preacher who seeks the reformation of a sinner tell me that +virtue is indispensably necessary, but not disguise its difficulty and +its attendant denials. Say that the enjoyments of love are fleeting, +if you will, that they are rigidly forbidden, that they lead with +certainty to eternal suffering; and, what would assuredly make a deeper +impression upon me than any other argument, say that the more sweet and +delectable they are, the brighter will be the reward of Heaven for +giving them up in sacrifice; but do in the name of justice admit, that, +constituted as the heart of man is, they form here, on earth, our most +perfect happiness.' + +"My last sentence restored to Tiberge his good humour. He allowed that +my ideas were not altogether so unreasonable. The only point he made, +was in asking me why I did not carry my own principle into operation, +by sacrificing my passion to the hope of that remuneration of which I +had drawn so brilliant a picture. 'Oh! my dear friend,' replied I; +'that it is which makes me conscious of my own misery and weakness: +true, alas! it is indeed my duty to act according to my argument; but +have I the power of governing my own actions? What aid will enable me +to forget Manon's charms?' 'God forgive me,' said Tiberge, 'I can +almost fancy you a Jansenist[2]. 'I know not of what sect I am,' +replied I, 'nor do I indeed very clearly see to which I ought to +belong; but I cannot help feeling the truth of this at least of their +tenets.' + +"One effect of our conversation was to revive my friend's pity for me +in all its force. He perceived that there was in my errors more of +weakness than of vice; and he was the more disposed in the end to give +me assistance; without which I should infallibly have perished from +distress of mind. However, I carefully concealed from him my intention +of escaping from St. Lazare. I merely begged of him to take charge of +my letter; I had it ready before he came, and I soon found an excuse +for the necessity of writing. He faithfully transmitted it, and +Lescaut received before evening the one I had enclosed for him. + +"He came to see me next morning, and fortunately was admitted under my +brother's name. I was overjoyed at finding him in my room. I +carefully closed the door. 'Let us lose no time,' I said. 'First tell +me about Manon, and then advise me how I am to shake off these +fetters.' He assured me that he had not seen his sister since the day +before my arrest, and that it was only by repeated enquiries, and after +much trouble, that he had at length been able to discover her fate as +well as mine; and that he had two or three times presented himself at +the Magdalen, and been refused admittance. 'Wretch!' muttered I to +myself, 'dearly shall G---- M---- pay for this!' + +"'As to your escape,' continued Lescaut, 'it will not be so easy as you +imagine. Last evening, I and a couple of friends walked round this +establishment to reconnoitre it; and we agreed that, as your windows +looked into a court surrounded by buildings, as you yourself mentioned +in your letter, there would be vast difficulty in getting you out. +Besides, you are on the third story, and it would be impossible to +introduce ropes or ladders through the window. I therefore see no +means from without--in the house itself we must hit upon some scheme.' + +"'No,' replied I; 'I have examined everything minutely, particularly +since, through the governor's indulgence, my confinement has been less +rigorous. I am no longer locked into my room; I have liberty to walk +in the gallery; but there is, upon every landing, a strong door kept +closed night and day, so that it is impossible that ingenuity alone, +unaided by some violent efforts, can rescue me. + +"'Wait,' said I, after turning in my mind for a moment an idea that +struck me as excellent; 'could you bring me a pistol?' 'Softly,' said +Lescaut to me, 'you don't think of committing murder?' I assured him +that I had so little intention of shooting anyone, that it would not be +even necessary to have the pistol loaded. 'Bring it to me tomorrow,' I +added, 'and do not fail to be exactly opposite the great entrance with +two or three of your friends at eleven tomorrow night; I think I shall +be able to join you there.' He in vain requested me to explain my +plan. I told him that such an attempt as I contemplated could only +appear rational after it had succeeded. I begged of him to shorten his +visit, in order that he might with the less difficulty be admitted next +morning. He was accordingly admitted as readily as on his first visit. +He had put on so serious an air, moreover, that a stranger would have +taken him for a respectable person. + +"When I found in my hand the instrument of my liberty, I no longer +doubted my success. It was certainly a strange and a bold project; but +of what was I not capable, with the motives that inspired me? I had, +since I was allowed permission to walk in the galleries, found +opportunities of observing that every night the porter brought the keys +of all the doors to the governor, and subsequently there always reigned +a profound silence in the house, which showed that the inmates had +retired to rest. There was an open communication between my room and +that of the Superior. My resolution was, if he refused quietly to +surrender the keys, to force him, by fear of the pistol, to deliver +them up, and then by their help to gain the street. I impatiently +awaited the moment for executing my purpose. The porter arrived at his +usual time, that is to say, soon after nine o'clock. I allowed an hour +to elapse, in order that the priests as well as the servants might be +all asleep. I at length proceeded with my pistol and a lighted candle. +I first gave a gentle tap at the governor's door to awaken without +alarming him. I knocked a second time before he heard me; and +supposing of course that it was one of the priests who was taken ill +and wanted assistance, he got out of bed, dressed himself, and came to +the door. He had, however, the precaution to ask first who it was, and +what was wanted? I was obliged to mention my name, but I assumed a +plaintive tone, to make him believe that I was indisposed. 'Ah! it is +you, my dear boy,' said he on opening the door; 'what can bring you +here at this hour?' I stepped inside the door, and leading him to the +opposite side of the room, I declared to him that it was absolutely +impossible for me to remain longer at St. Lazare; that the night was +the most favourable time for going out unobserved, and that I +confidently expected, from his tried friendship, that he would consent +to open the gates for me, or entrust me with the keys to let myself out. + +"This compliment to his friendship seemed to surprise him. He stood +for a few moments looking at me without making any reply. Finding that +I had no time to lose, I just begged to assure him that I had the most +lively sense of all his kindnesses, but that freedom was dearer to man +than every other consideration, especially so to me, who had been +cruelly and unjustly deprived of it; that I was resolved this night to +recover it, cost what it would, and fearing lest he might raise his +voice and call for assistance, I let him see the powerful incentive to +silence which I had kept concealed in my bosom. 'A pistol!' cried he. +'What! my son? will you take away my life in return for the attentions +I have shown you?' 'God forbid,' replied I; 'you are too reasonable to +drive me to that horrible extremity: but I am determined to be free, +and so firmly determined, that if you defeat my project, I will put an +end to your existence.' 'But, my dear son!' said he, pale and +frightened, 'what have I done to you? What reason have you for taking +my life?' 'No!' replied I, impatiently, 'I have no design upon your +life, if you, yourself, wish to live; open but the doors for me, and +you will find me the most attached of friends.' I perceived the keys +upon the table. I requested he would take them in his hand and walk +before me, making as little noise as he possibly could. + +"He saw the necessity of consenting. We proceeded, and as he opened +each door, he repeated, always with a sigh, 'Ah! my son, who could have +believed it?' 'No noise, good Father, no noise,' I as often answered +in my turn. At length we reached a kind of barrier, just inside the +great entrance. I already fancied myself free, and kept close behind +the governor, with my candle in one hand, and my pistol in the other. + +"While he was endeavouring to open the heavy gate, one of the servants, +who slept in an adjoining room, hearing the noise of the bolts, jumped +out of bed, and peeped forth to see what was passing. The good Father +apparently thought him strong enough to overpower me. He commanded +him, most imprudently, to come to his assistance. He was a powerful +ruffian, and threw himself upon me without an instant's hesitation. +There was no time for parleying--I levelled my pistol and lodged the +contents in his breast! 'See, Father, of what mischief you have been +the cause,' said I to my guide; 'but that must not prevent us from +finishing our work,' I added, pushing him on towards the last door. He +did not dare refuse to open it. I made my exit in perfect safety, and, +a few paces off, found Lescaut with two friends waiting for me, +according to his promise. + +"We removed at once to a distance. Lescaut enquired whether he had not +heard the report of a pistol? 'You are to blame,' said I, 'why did you +bring it charged?' I, however, could not help thanking him for having +taken this precaution, without which I doubtless must have continued +much longer at St. Lazare. We went to pass the night at a tavern, +where I made up, in some degree, for the miserable fare which had been +doled out to me for nearly three months. I was very far, however, from +tasting perfect enjoyment; Manon's sufferings were mine. 'She must be +released,' said I to my companions: 'this was my sole object in +desiring my own liberty. I rely on your aiding me with all your +ingenuity; as for myself, my life shall be devoted to the purpose.' + +"Lescaut, who was not deficient in tact, and still less in that better +part of valour called discretion, dwelt upon the necessity of acting +with extreme caution: he said that my escape from St. Lazare, and the +accident that happened on my leaving it, would assuredly create a +sensation; that the lieutenant-general of police would cause a strict +search to be made for me, and it would be difficult to evade him; in +fine, that, unless disposed to encounter something worse, perhaps, than +St. Lazare, it would be requisite for me to remain concealed for a few +days, in order to give the enemy's zeal time to cool. No doubt this +was wise counsel; but, one should have been wise oneself to have +followed it. Such calculating slowness little suited my passion. The +utmost I could bring myself to promise was, that I would sleep through +the whole of the next day. He locked me in my bedroom, where I +remained patiently until night. + +"I employed great part of the time in devising schemes for relieving +Manon. I felt persuaded that her prison was even more inaccessible +than mine had been. Force was out of the question. Artifice was the +only resource; but the goddess of invention herself could not have told +me how to begin. I felt the impossibility of working in the dark, and +therefore postponed the further consideration of my schemes until I +could acquire some knowledge of the internal arrangements of the +Hospital, in which she was confined. + +"As soon as night restored to me my liberty, I begged of Lescaut to +accompany me. We were not long in drawing one of the porters into +conversation; he appeared a reasonable man. I passed for a stranger +who had often with admiration heard talk of the Hospital, and of the +order that reigned within it. I enquired into the most minute details; +and, proceeding from one subject to another, we at length spoke of the +managers, and of these I begged to know the names and the respective +characters. He gave me such information upon the latter point as at +once suggested an idea which flattered my hopes, and I immediately set +about carrying it into execution. + +"I asked him (this being a matter essential to my plan) whether any of +the gentlemen had children. He said he could not answer me with +certainty as to all, but as for M. de T----, one of the principal +directors, he knew that he had a son old enough to be married, and who +had come several times to the Hospital with his father. This was +enough for my purpose. + +"I immediately put an end to our interview, and, in returning, I told +Lescaut of the plan I had formed. 'I have taken it,' said I, 'into my +head, that M. de T----, the son, who is rich and of good family, must +have the same taste for pleasure that other young men of his age +generally have. He could hardly be so bad a friend to the fair sex, +nor so absurd as to refuse his services in an affair of love. I have +arranged a plan for interesting him in favour of Manon. If he is a man +of feeling and of right mind, he will give us his assistance from +generosity. If he is not to be touched by a motive of this kind, he +will at least do something for a handsome girl, if it were only with +the hope of hereafter sharing her favours. I will not defer seeing +him,' added I, 'beyond tomorrow. I really feel so elated by this +project, that I derive from it a good omen.' + +"Lescaut himself allowed that the idea was not unreasonable, and that +we might fairly entertain a hope of turning it to account. I passed the +night less sorrowfully. + +"Next morning I dressed as well as, in my present state of indigence, I +could possibly contrive to do; and went in a hackney coach to the +residence of M. de T----. He was surprised at receiving a visit from a +perfect stranger. I augured favourably from his countenance and the +civility of his manner. I explained my object in the most candid way; +and, to excite his feelings as much as possible, I spoke of my ardent +passion and of Manon's merit, as of two things that were unequalled, +except by each other. He told me, that although he had never seen +Manon, he had heard of her; at least, if the person I was talking of +was the same who had been the mistress of old G---- M----. I +conjectured that he must have heard of the part I had acted in that +transaction, and in order to conciliate him more and more by treating +him with confidence, I told him everything that had occurred to Manon +and myself. 'You see, sir,' said I, 'that all that can interest me in +life, all that can command my affections, is in your hands. I have no +reserve with you, because I have been informed of your generous and +noble character; and, being of the same age, I trust I shall find some +resemblance in our dispositions.' + +"He seemed flattered by this mark of candour and confidence. He +replied in a manner that became a man of the world, and a man of +feeling also, for they are not always synonymous terms. He told me +that he appreciated my visit as a piece of good fortune; that he +considered my friendship as a valuable acquisition, and that he would +endeavour to prove himself worthy of it, by the sincerity of his +services. He could not absolutely promise to restore Manon to my arms, +because, as he said, he himself had very little influence; but he +offered to procure me the pleasure of seeing her, and to do everything +in his power to effect her release. I was the more satisfied with this +frank avowal as to his want of influence, than I should have been by an +unqualified promise of fulfilling all my wishes. I found in his +moderation a pledge of his sincerity: in a word, I no longer doubted my +entire success. The promise alone of enabling me to see Manon filled +me with gratitude, and I testified it in so earnest a manner, as to +give him a favourable opinion of my heart and disposition; we shook +hands warmly, and parted sworn friends, merely from mutual regard, and +that natural feeling which prompts a man of kind and generous +sentiments to esteem another of congenial mind. + +"He, indeed, exceeded me in the proofs of his esteem; for, inferring +from my adventures, and especially my late escape from St. Lazare, that +I might be in want of money, he offered me his purse, and pressed me to +accept it. I refused, but said to him, 'You are too kind, my dear sir! +If in addition to such proofs of kindness and friendship, you enable me +to see Manon again, rely on my eternal regard and gratitude. If you +succeed in restoring altogether this dear creature to my arms, I should +think myself happy in spilling the last drop of my blood in your +service.' + +"Before we parted, we agreed as to the time and place for our meeting. +He was so considerate as to appoint the afternoon of the same day. + +"I waited for him at a cafe, where he joined me about four o'clock, and +we went together towards the Magdalen; my knees trembled under me as I +crossed the courts. 'Ye heavenly powers!' said I, 'then I shall once +more behold the idol of my heart--the dear object of so many sighs and +lamentations! All I now ask of Providence is, to vouchsafe me strength +enough to reach her presence, and after that, to dispose as it pleaseth +of my future fate, and of my life itself. Beyond this, I have no +prayer to utter.' + +"M. de T---- spoke to some of the porters of the establishment, who +appeared all anxious to please him. The quarter in which Manon's room +lay was pointed out to us, and our guide carried in his hand the key of +her chamber: it was of frightful size. I asked the man who conducted +us, and whose duty it was to attend to Manon, how she passed her time? +He said, that she had a temper of the most angelic sweetness; that even +he, disagreeable as his official duties must render him, had never +heard from her a single syllable in the nature of rebuke or harshness; +that her tears had never ceased to flow during the first six weeks +after her arrival, but that latterly she seemed to bear her misfortunes +with more resignation, and that she employed herself from morning till +night with her needle, excepting some hours that she, each day, devoted +to reading. I asked whether she had been decently provided for. He +assured me that at least she had never felt the want of necessaries. + +"We now approached her door. My heart beat almost audibly in my bosom. +I said to M. de T----, 'Go in alone, and prepare her for my visit; I +fear that she may be overcome by seeing me unexpectedly.' The door was +opened. I remained in the passage, and listened to the conversation. +He said that he came to bring her consolation; that he was a friend of +mine, and felt deeply interested for the happiness of us both. She +asked with the tenderest anxiety, whether he could tell her what had +become of me. He promised that she should soon see me at her feet, as +affectionate and as faithful as ever. 'When?' she asked. 'This very +day,' said he; 'the happy moment shall not be long delayed; nay, this +very instant even, if you wish it.' She at once understood that I was +at the door; as she was rushing towards it, I entered. We embraced +each other with that abounding and impassioned tenderness, which an +absence of many months makes so delicious to those who truly love. Our +sighs, our broken exclamations, the thousand endearing appellations of +love, exchanged in languishing rapture, astonished M. de T----, and +affected him even to tears. + +"'I cannot help envying you,' said he, as he begged us to be seated; +'there is no lot, however glorious, that I would hold as comparable to +the possession of a mistress at once so tender and impassioned.' 'Nor +would I,' I replied, 'give up her love for universal empire!' + +"The remainder of an interview which had been so long and so ardently +desired by me, was of course as tender as the commencement. Poor Manon +related all her adventures, and I told her mine: we bitterly wept over +each other's story. M. de T---- consoled us by his renewed promises to +exert himself in our service. He advised us not to make this, our +first interview, of too long duration, that he might have the less +difficulty in procuring us the same enjoyment again. He at length +induced us to follow his advice. Manon especially could not reconcile +herself to the separation: she made me a hundred times resume my seat. +At one time she held me by my hands, at another by my coat. 'Alas!' +she said, 'in what an abode do you leave me! Who will answer for my +ever seeing you again?' M. de T---- promised her that he would often +come and see her with me. 'As to the abode,' he said, 'it must no +longer be called the Magdalen; it is Versailles! now that it contains a +person who deserves the empire of all hearts.' + +"I made the man who attended a present as I went out, in order to +quicken his zeal and attentions. This fellow had a mind less rough and +vulgar than the generality of his class. He had witnessed our +interview, and was affected by it. The interest he felt was doubtless +increased by the louis d'or I gave him. He took me aside as we went +down into the courtyard. 'Sir,' said he, 'if you will only take me +into your service, or indemnify me in any way for the loss of the +situation which I fill here, I think I should not have much difficulty +in liberating the beauteous Manon.' + +"I caught readily at the suggestion, and, although at the moment I was +almost in a state of destitution, I gave him promises far beyond his +desires. I considered that it would be at all times easy to recompense +a man of his description. 'Be assured, my friend,' said I to him, +'that there is nothing I will not be ready to do for you, and that your +fortune is just as certain as my own.' I enquired what means he +intended to employ. 'None other,' said he, 'than merely to open the +door of her cell for her at night, and to conduct her to the street +door, where you, of course, will be to receive her.' I asked whether +there was no danger of her being recognised as she traversed the long +galleries and the courts. He admitted that there was danger, but that +nothing could be done without some slight risk. + +"Although I was delighted to find him so determined, I called M. de +T----, and informed him of the project, and of the only difficulty in +the way. He thought it not so easy of execution. He allowed the +possibility of escaping thus: 'But if she be recognised,' continued +he, 'if she be stopped in the attempt, all hope will be over with her, +perhaps for ever. Besides, you would be obliged to quit Paris +instantly, for you could never evade the search that would be made for +you: they would redouble their efforts as much on your own account as +hers. A single man may easily escape detection, but in company with a +handsome woman, it would be utterly impossible to remain undiscovered.' + +"However sound this reasoning, it could not, in my mind, outweigh the +immediate prospect of restoring Manon to liberty. I said as much to M. +de T----, and trusted that he would excuse my imprudence and rashness, +on the ground of love. I added that it was already my intention to +quit Paris for some neighbouring village, as I had once before done. +We then settled with the servant that he should carry his project into +execution the following day, and to render our success as certain as he +could, we resolved to carry into the prison men's clothes, in order to +facilitate her escape." + +"There was a difficulty to be surmounted in carrying them in, but I had +ingenuity enough to meet it. I begged of M. de T---- only to put on +two light waistcoats the next morning, and I undertook to arrange the +rest. + +"We returned the following day to the Hospital. I took with me linen, +stockings, etc., for Manon, and over my body-coat a surtout, which +concealed the bulk I carried in my pockets. We remained but a moment +in her room. M. de T---- left her one of his waistcoats; I gave her my +short coat, the surtout being sufficient for me. She found nothing +wanting for her complete equipment but a pair of pantaloons, which in +my hurry I had forgotten. + +"The want of so necessary an article might have amused us, if the +embarrassment it caused had been of a less serious kind. I was in +despair at having our whole scheme foiled by a trifling omission of +this nature. However, I soon hit on a remedy, and determined to make +my own exit sans-culotte, leaving that portion of my dress with Manon. +My surtout was long, and I contrived by the help of a few pins to put +myself in a decent condition for passing the gate. + +"The remainder of the day appeared to me of endless length. When at +last night came, we went in a coach to within a few yards of the +Hospital. We were not long waiting, when we saw Manon make her +appearance with her guide. The door of the coach being opened, they +both stepped in without delay. I opened my arms to receive my adored +mistress; she trembled like an aspen leaf. The coachman asked where he +was to drive? 'To the end of the world!' I exclaimed; 'to some place +where I can never again be separated from Manon.' + +"This burst, which I could not control, was near bringing me into fresh +trouble. The coachman reflected upon what I said, and when I +afterwards told him the name of the street to which I wished him to +drive, he answered that he feared I was about to implicate him in some +bad business; that he saw plainly enough that the good-looking young +man whom I called Manon was a girl eloping from the Hospital, and that +he was little disposed indeed to ruin himself for love of me. + +"Extortion was the source of this scoundrel's delicacy. We were still +too near the Hospital to make any noise. 'Silence!' said I to him, +'you shall have a louis d'or for the job': for less than that he would +have helped me to burn the Hospital. + +"We arrived at Lescaut's house. As it was late, M. de T---- left us on +the way, promising to visit us the next morning. The servant alone +remained. + +"I held Manon in such close embrace in my arms, that we occupied but +one place in the coach. She cried for joy, and I could feel her tears +trickling down my cheeks. + +"When we were about getting out at Lescaut's, I had a new difficulty +with the coachman, which was attended with the most unfortunate +results. I repented of having promised the fellow a louis d'or, not +only because it was extravagant folly, but for another stronger reason, +that it was at the moment out of my power to pay him. I called for +Lescaut, and he came down to the door. I whispered to him the cause of +my present embarrassment. Being naturally rough, and not at all in the +habit of treating hackney-coachmen with respect, he answered that I +could not be serious. 'A louis!' said he; 'twenty blows of a cane +would be the right payment for that rascal!' I entreated him not to +destroy us; when he snatched my cane from my hand, and was about to lay +it on the coachman. The fellow had probably before experienced the +weight of a guardsman's arm, and instantly drove off, crying out, that +I had cheated him, and should hear of him again. I in vain endeavoured +to stop him. + +"His flight caused me, of course, the greatest alarm. I had no doubt +that he would immediately give information to the police. 'You have +ruined me,' said I to Lescaut; 'I shall be no longer safe at your +house; we must go hence at once.' I gave Manon my arm, and as quickly +as possible got out of the dangerous neighbourhood. Lescaut +accompanied us." + +The Chevalier des Grieux having occupied more than an hour with his +story, I begged him to give himself a little rest, and meanwhile to +share our supper. He saw, by the attention we paid him, that we were +amused, and promised that we should hear something of perhaps greater +interest in the sequel. When we had finished supper, he continued in +the following words. + + +[1] A favourite tenet of the Mystics, advocated by Madame de Guyon, and +adopted by the amiable and eloquent Fenelon, was, that the love of the +Supreme Being must be pure and disinterested; that is, exempt from all +views of interest, and all hope of reward. See the controversy between +Bossuet and Fenelon. + +[2] The first proposition of the Jansenists was, that there are divine +precepts which good men, notwithstanding their desire to observe them, +are nevertheless absolutely unable to obey: God not having given them +such a measure of grace as is essentially necessary to render them +capable of obedience.--Mosheim's Eccles. Hist., ii. 397. + + + +VII + + + . . . How chances mock, + And changes fill the cup of alteration + With divers liquors. + SHAKESPEARE. + + +"How inscrutably does Providence connect events! We had hardly +proceeded for five minutes on our way, when a man, whose face I could +not see, recognised Lescaut. He had no doubt been watching for him +near his home, with the horrible intention which he now unhappily +executed. 'It IS Lescaut!' said he, snapping a pistol at his head; 'he +shall sup tonight with the angels!' He then instantly disappeared. +Lescaut fell, without the least sign of life. I pressed Manon to fly, +for we could be of no use to a dead man, and I feared being arrested by +the police, who would certainly be soon upon the spot. I turned down +the first narrow street with her and the servant: she was so +overpowered by the scene she had just witnessed, that I could hardly +support her. At last, at the end of the street, I perceived a +hackney-coach; we got into it, but when the coachman asked whither he +should drive, I was scarcely able to answer him. I had no certain +asylum--no confidential friend to whom I could have recourse. I was +almost destitute of money, having but one dollar left in my purse. +Fright and fatigue had so unnerved Manon, that she was almost fainting +at my side. My imagination too was full of the murder of Lescaut, and +I was not without strong apprehensions of the patrol. What was to be +done? I luckily remembered the inn at Chaillot, where we first went to +reside in that village. I hoped to be not only secure, but to continue +there for some time without being pressed for payment. 'Take us to +Chaillot,' said I to the coachman. He refused to drive us so far at +that late hour for less than twelve francs. A new embarrassment! At +last we agreed for half that sum--all that my purse contained. + +"I tried to console Manon as we went along, but despair was rankling in +my own heart. I should have destroyed myself a thousand times over, if +I had not felt that I held in my arms all that could attach me to life: +this reflection reconciled me. 'I possess her at least,' said I; 'she +loves me! she is mine! Vainly does Tiberge call this a mere phantom of +happiness.' I could, without feeling interest or emotion, see the +whole world besides perish around me. Why? Because I have in it no +object of affection beyond her. + +"This sentiment was true; however, while I so lightly esteemed the good +things of the world, I felt that there was no doing without some little +portion of them, were it only to inspire a more thorough contempt for +the remainder. Love is more powerful than wealth--more attractive than +grandeur or fame; but, alas! it cannot exist without certain artificial +aids; and there is nothing more humiliating to the feelings, of a +sensitive lover, than to find himself, by want of means, reduced to the +level of the most vulgar minds. + +"It was eleven o'clock when we arrived at Chaillot. They received us +at the inn as old acquaintances, and expressed no sort of surprise at +seeing Manon in male attire, for it was the custom in Paris and the +environs to adopt all disguises. I took care to have her served with +as much attention as if I had been in prosperous circumstances. She +was ignorant of my poverty, and I carefully kept her so, being resolved +to return alone the following day to Paris, to seek some cure for this +vexatious kind of malady. + +"At supper she appeared pale and thin; I had not observed this at the +Hospital, as the room in which I saw her was badly lighted. I asked +her if the excessive paleness were not caused by the shock of +witnessing her brother's death? She assured me that, horrified as she +naturally was at the event, her paleness was purely the effect of a +three months' absence from me. 'You do love me then devotedly?' I +exclaimed. + +"'A thousand times more than I can tell!' was her reply. + +"'You will never leave me again?' I added. + +"'No! never, never!' answered she. + +"This assurance was confirmed by so many caresses and vows, that it +appeared impossible she could, to the end of time, forget them. I have +never doubted that she was at that moment sincere. What motive could +she have had for dissembling to such a degree? But she became +afterwards still more volatile than ever, or rather she was no longer +anything, and entirely forgot herself, when, in poverty and want, she +saw other women living in abundance. I was now on the point of +receiving a new proof of her inconstancy, which threw all that had +passed into the shade, and which led to the strangest adventure that +ever happened to a man of my birth and prospects. + +"As I knew her disposition, I hastened the next day to Paris. The death +of her brother, and the necessity of getting linen and clothes for her, +were such good reasons, that I had no occasion for any further pretext. +I left the inn, with the intention, as I told Manon and the landlord, +of going in a hired carriage, but this was a mere flourish; necessity +obliged me to travel on foot: I walked very fast as far as +Cours-la-Reine, where I intended to rest. A moment of solitude and +tranquillity was requisite to compose myself, and to consider what was +to be done in Paris. + +"I sat down upon the grass. I plunged into a sea of thoughts and +considerations, which at length resolved themselves into three +principal heads. I had pressing want of an infinite number of absolute +necessaries; I had to seek some mode of at least raising a hope for the +future; and, though last, not least in importance, I had to gain +information, and adopt measures, to secure Manon's safety and my own. +After having exhausted myself in devising projects upon these three +chief points, I was obliged to put out of view for the moment the two +last. We were not ill sheltered from observation in the inn at +Chaillot; and as to future wants, I thought it would be time enough to +think about them when those of the moment were satisfied. + +"The main object now was to replenish my purse. M. de T---- had once +offered me his, but I had an extreme repugnance to mention the subject +to him again. What a degradation to expose one's misery to a stranger, +and to ask for charity: it must be either a man of low mind who would +thus demean himself, and that from a baseness which must render him +insensible to the degradation, or a humble Christian, from a +consciousness of generosity in himself, which must put him above the +sense of shame. I would have sacrificed half my life to be spared the +humiliation. + +"'Tiberge,' said I, 'kind Tiberge, will he refuse me what he has it in +his power to grant? No, he will assuredly sympathise in my misery; but +he will also torture me with his lectures! One must endure his +reproaches, his exhortations, his threats: I shall have to purchase his +assistance so dearly, that I would rather make any sacrifice than +encounter this distressing scene, which cannot fail to leave me full of +sorrow and remorse. Well,' thought I again, 'all hope must be +relinquished, since no other course presents itself: so far am I from +adopting either of these, that I would sooner shed half my blood than +face one of these evils, or the last drop rather than encounter both. +Yes, the very last drop,' I repeated after a moment's reflection, 'I +would sacrifice willingly rather than submit to such base supplication! + +"'But it is not in reality a question of my existence! Manon's life +and maintenance, her love and her fidelity, are at stake! What +consideration can outweigh that? In her are centred all my glory, +happiness, and future fortune! There are doubtless many things that I +would gladly give up my life to obtain, or to avoid; but to estimate a +thing merely beyond the value of my own life, is not putting it on a +par with that of Manon.' This idea soon decided me: I went on my way, +resolved to go first to Tiberge, and afterwards to M. de T----. + +"On entering Paris I took a hackney-coach, though I had not wherewithal +to pay for it; I calculated on the loan I was going to solicit. I +drove to the Luxembourg, whence I sent word to Tiberge that I was +waiting for him. I had not to stay many minutes. I told him without +hesitation the extremity of my wants. He asked if the fifty pounds +which I had returned to him would suffice, and he at once went to fetch +it with that generous air, that pleasure in bestowing which 'blesseth +him that gives, and him that takes,' and which can only be known to +love or to true friendship. + +"Although I had never entertained a doubt of Tiberge's readiness to +grant my request, yet I was surprised at having obtained it on such +easy terms, that is to say, without a word of reprimand for my +impenitence; but I was premature in fancying myself safe from his +reproaches, for when he had counted out the money, and I was on the +point of going away, he begged of me to take a walk with him in the +garden. I had not mentioned Manon's name; he knew nothing of her +escape; so that his lecture was merely upon my own rash flight from St. +Lazare, and upon his apprehensions lest, instead of profiting by the +lessons of morality which I had received there, I should again relapse +into dissipation. + +"He told me, that having gone to pay me a visit at St. Lazare, the day +after my escape, he had been astonished beyond expression at hearing +the mode in which I had effected it; that he had afterwards a +conversation with the Superior; that the good Father had not quite +recovered the shock; that he had, however, the generosity to conceal +the real circumstances from the lieutenant-general of police, and that +he had prevented the death of the porter from becoming known outside +the walls; that I had, therefore, upon that score, no ground for alarm, +but that, if I retained one grain of prudence, I should profit by this +happy turn which Providence had given to my affairs, and begin by +writing to my father, and reconciling myself to his favour; and finally +that, if I would be guided by his advice, I should at once quit Paris, +and return to the bosom of my family. + +"I listened to him attentively till he had finished. There was much in +what he said to gratify me. In the first place, I was delighted to +learn that I had nothing to fear on account of St. Lazare--the streets +of Paris at least were again open to me. Then I rejoiced to find that +Tiberge had no suspicion of Manon's escape, and her return to my arms. +I even remarked that he had not mentioned her name, probably from the +idea that, by my seeming indifference to her, she had become less dear +to my heart. I resolved, if not to return home, at least to write to +my father, as he advised me, and to assure him that I was disposed to +return to my duty, and consult his wishes. My intention was to urge +him to send me money for the purpose of pursuing my ordinary studies at +the University, for I should have found it difficult to persuade him +that I had any inclination to resume my ecclesiastical habit. I was in +truth not at all averse to what I was now going to promise him. On the +contrary, I was ready to apply myself to some creditable and rational +pursuit, so far as the occupation would be compatible with my love. I +reckoned upon being able to live with my mistress, and at the same time +continuing my studies. I saw no inconsistency in this plan. + +"These thoughts were so satisfactory to my mind, that I promised +Tiberge to dispatch a letter by that day's post to my father: in fact, +on leaving him, I went into a scrivener's, and wrote in such a +submissive and dutiful tone, that, on reading over my own letter, I +anticipated the triumph I was going to achieve over my father's heart. + +"Although I had money enough to pay for a hackney-coach after my +interview with Tiberge, I felt a pleasure in walking independently +through the streets to M. de T----'s house. There was great comfort in +this unaccustomed exercise of my liberty, as to which my friend had +assured me I had nothing now to apprehend. However, it suddenly +occurred to me, that he had been only referring to St. Lazare, and that +I had the other affair of the Hospital on my hands; being implicated, +if not as an accomplice, at all events as a witness. This thought +alarmed me so much, that I slipped down the first narrow street, and +called a coach. I went at once to M. de T----'s, and he laughed at my +apprehensions. I myself thought them ridiculous enough, when he +informed me that there was no more danger from Lescaut's affray, than +from the Hospital adventure. He told me that, from the fear of their +suspecting that he had a hand in Manon's escape, he had gone that +morning to the Hospital and asked to see her, pretending not to know +anything of what had happened; that they were so far from entertaining +the least suspicion of either of us, that they lost no time in relating +the adventure as a piece of news to him; and that they wondered how so +pretty a girl as Manon Lescaut could have thought of eloping with a +servant: that he replied with seeming indifference, that it by no means +astonished him, for people would do anything for the sake of liberty. + +"He continued to tell me how he then went to Lescaut's apartments, in +the hope of finding me there with my dear mistress; that the master of +the house, who was a coachmaker, protested he had seen neither me nor +Manon; but that it was no wonder that we had not appeared there, if our +object was to see Lescaut, for that we must have doubtless heard of his +having been assassinated about the very same time; upon which, he +related all that he knew of the cause and circumstances of the murder. + +"About two hours previously, a guardsman of Lescaut's acquaintance had +come to see him, and proposed play. Lescaut had such a rapid and +extravagant run of luck, that in an hour the young man was minus twelve +hundred francs--all the money he had. Finding himself without a sou, he +begged of Lescaut to lend him half the sum he had lost; and there being +some difficulty on this point, an angry quarrel arose between them. +Lescaut had refused to give him the required satisfaction, and the +other swore, on quitting him, that he would take his life; a threat +which he carried into execution the same night. M. de T---- was kind +enough to add, that he had felt the utmost anxiety on our account, and +that, such as they were, he should gladly continue to us his services. +I at once told him the place of our retreat. He begged of me to allow +him to sup with us. + +"As I had nothing more to do than to procure the linen and clothes for +Manon, I told him that we might start almost immediately, if he would +be so good as to wait for me a moment while I went into one or two +shops. I know not whether he suspected that I made this proposition +with the view of calling his generosity into play, or whether it was by +the mere impulse of a kind heart; but, having consented to start +immediately, he took me to a shopkeeper, who had lately furnished his +house. He there made me select several articles of a much higher price +than I had proposed to myself; and when I was about paying the bill, he +desired the man not to take a sou from me. This he did so gracefully, +that I felt no shame in accepting his present. We then took the road +to Chaillot together, where I arrived much more easy in mind than when +I had left it that morning. + +"My return and the polite attentions of M. de T---- dispelled all +Manon's melancholy. 'Let us forget our past annoyances, my dear soul,' +said I to her, 'and endeavour to live a still happier life than before. +After all, there are worse masters than love: fate cannot subject us to +as much sorrow as love enables us to taste of happiness.' Our supper +was a true scene of joy. + +"In possession of Manon and of twelve hundred and fifty francs, I was +prouder and more contented than the richest voluptuary of Paris with +untold treasures. Wealth should be measured by the means it affords us +of satisfying our desires. There did not remain to me at this moment a +single wish unaccomplished. Even the future gave me little concern. I +felt a hope, amounting almost to certainty, that my father would allow +me the means of living respectably in Paris, because I had become +entitled, on entering upon my twentieth year, to a share of my mother's +fortune. I did not conceal from Manon what was the extent of my +present wealth; but I added, that it might suffice to support us until +our fortune was bettered, either by the inheritance I have just alluded +to, or by the resources of the hazard-table." + + + +VIII + + +This Passion hath its floods in the very times of weakness, which are +great prosperity, and great adversity; both which times kindle Love, +and make it more fervent.--BACON. + + +"For several weeks I thus continued to think only of enjoying the full +luxury of my situation; and being restrained, by a sense of honour, as +well as a lurking apprehension of the police, from renewing my intimacy +with my former companions at the hotel of Transylvania, I began to play +in certain coteries less notorious, where my good luck rendered it +unnecessary for me to have recourse to my former accomplishments. I +passed a part of the afternoon in town, and returned always to supper +at Chaillot, accompanied very often by M. de T----, whose intimacy and +friendship for us daily increased. + +"Manon soon found resources against ennui. She became acquainted with +some young ladies, whom the spring brought into the neighbourhood. +They occupied their leisure hours in walking, and the customary +amusements of persons of their sex and age. Their little gains at cards +(always within innocent limits) were laid out in defraying the expense +of a coach, in which they took an airing occasionally in the Bois de +Boulogne; and each night when I returned, I was sure of finding Manon +more beautiful--more contented--more affectionate than ever. + +"There arose, however, certain clouds, which seemed to threaten the +continuance of this blissful tranquillity, but they were soon +dispelled; and Manon's sprightliness made the affair so excessively +comical in its termination, that it is even now pleasing to recur to +it, as a proof of the tenderness as well as the cheerfulness of her +disposition. + +"The only servant we had came to me one day, with great embarrassment, +and taking me aside, told me that he had a secret of the utmost +importance to communicate to me. I urged him to explain himself +without reserve. After some hesitation, he gave me to understand that +a foreigner of high rank had apparently fallen in love with Manon. I +felt my blood boil at the announcement. 'Has she shown any penchant +for him?' I enquired, interrupting my informant with more impatience +than was requisite, if I desired to have a full explanation. + +"He was alarmed at my excitement; and replied in an undecided tone, +that he had not made sufficiently minute observation to satisfy me; but +that, having noticed for several days together the regular arrival of +the stranger at the Bois de Boulogne, where, quitting his carriage, he +walked by himself in the cross-avenues, appearing to seek opportunities +of meeting Manon, it had occurred to him to form an acquaintance with +the servants, in order to discover the name of their master; that they +spoke of him as an Italian prince, and that they also suspected he was +upon some adventure of gallantry. He had not been able to learn +anything further, he added, trembling as he spoke, because the prince, +then on the point of leaving the wood, had approached him, and with the +most condescending familiarity asked his name; upon which, as if he at +once knew that he was in our service, he congratulated him on having, +for his mistress, the most enchanting person upon earth. + +"I listened to this recital with the greatest impatience. He ended +with the most awkward excuses, which I attributed to the premature and +imprudent display of my own agitation. In vain I implored him to +continue his history. He protested that he knew nothing more, and that +what he had previously told me, having only happened the preceding day, +he had not had a second opportunity of seeing the prince's servants. I +encouraged him, not only with praises, but with a substantial +recompense; and without betraying the slightest distrust of Manon, I +requested him, in the mildest manner, to keep strict watch upon all the +foreigner's movements. + +"In truth, the effect of his fright was to leave me in a state of the +cruellest suspense. It was possible that she had ordered him to +suppress part of the truth. However, after a little reflection, I +recovered sufficiently from my fears to see the manner in which I had +exposed my weaknesses. I could hardly consider it a crime in Manon to +be loved. Judging from appearances, it was probable that she was not +even aware of her conquest. 'And what kind of life shall I in future +lead,' thought I, 'if I am capable of letting jealousy so easily take +possession of my mind?' + +"I returned on the following day to Paris, with no other intention than +to hasten the improvement of my fortune, by playing deeper than ever, +in order to be in a condition to quit Chaillot on the first real +occasion for uneasiness. That night I learned nothing at all +calculated to trouble my repose. The foreigner had, as usual, made his +appearance in the Bois de Boulogne; and venturing, from what had passed +the preceding day, to accost my servant more familiarly, he spoke to +him openly of his passion, but in such terms as not to lead to the +slightest suspicion of Manon's being aware of it. He put a thousand +questions to him, and at last tried to bribe him with large promises; +and taking a letter from his pocket, he in vain entreated him, with the +promise of some louis d'ors, to convey it to her. + +"Two days passed without anything more occurring: the third was of a +different character. I learned on my arrival, later than usual, from +Paris, that Manon, while in the wood, had left her companions for a +moment, and that the foreigner, who had followed her at a short +distance, approached, upon her making him a sign, and that she handed +him a letter, which he took with a transport of joy. He had only time +to express his delight by kissing the billet-doux, for she was out of +sight in an instant. But she appeared in unusually high spirits the +remainder of the day; and even after her return to our lodgings, her +gaiety continued. I trembled at every word. + +"'Are you perfectly sure,' said I, in an agony of fear, to my servant, +'that your eyes have not deceived you?' He called Heaven to witness +the truth of what he had told me. + +"I know not to what excess the torments of my mind would have driven +me, if Manon, who heard me come in, had not met me with an air of +impatience, and complained of my delay. Before I had time to reply, +she loaded me with caresses; and when she found we were alone, she +reproached me warmly with the habit I was contracting of staying out so +late. My silence gave her an opportunity of continuing; and she then +said that for the last three weeks I had never spent one entire day in +her society; that she could not endure such prolonged absence; that she +should at least expect me to give up a day to her from time to time, +and that she particularly wished me to be with her on the following day +from morning till night. + +"'You may be very certain I shall do that,' said I, in rather a sharp +tone. She did not appear to notice my annoyance; she seemed to me to +have more than her usual cheerfulness; and she described, with infinite +pleasantry, the manner in which she had spent the day. + +"'Incomprehensible girl!" said I to myself; 'what am I to expect after +such a prelude?' The adventures of my first separation occurred to me; +nevertheless, I fancied I saw in her cheerfulness, and the affectionate +reception she gave me, an air of truth that perfectly accorded with her +professions. + +"It was an easy matter at supper to account for the low spirits which I +could not conceal, by attributing them to a loss I had that day +sustained at the gaming-table. I considered it most fortunate that the +idea of my remaining all the next day at Chaillot was suggested by +herself: I should thus have ample time for deliberation. My presence +would prevent any fears for at least the next day; and if nothing +should occur to compel me to disclose the discovery I had already made, +I was determined on the following day to move my establishment into +town, and fix myself in a quarter where I should have nothing to +apprehend from the interference of princes. This arrangement made me +pass the night more tranquilly, but it by no means put an end to the +alarm I felt at the prospect of a new infidelity. + +"When I awoke in the morning, Manon said to me, that although we were +to pass the day at home, she did not at all wish that I should be less +carefully dressed than on other occasions; and that she had a +particular fancy for doing the duties of my toilette that morning with +her own hands. It was an amusement she often indulged in: but she +appeared to take more pains on this occasion than I had ever observed +before. To gratify her, I was obliged to sit at her toilette table, +and try all the different modes she imagined for dressing my hair. In +the course of the operation, she made me often turn my head round +towards her, and putting both hands upon my shoulders, she would +examine me with most anxious curiosity: then, showing her approbation +by one or two kisses, she would make me resume my position before the +glass, in order to continue her occupation. + +"This amatory trifling engaged us till dinner-time. The pleasure she +seemed to derive from it, and her more than usual gaiety, appeared to +me so thoroughly natural, that I found it impossible any longer to +suspect the treason I had previously conjured up; and I was several +times on the point of candidly opening my mind to her, and throwing off +a load that had begun to weigh heavily upon my heart: but I flattered +myself with the hope that the explanation would every moment come from +herself, and I anticipated the delicious triumph this would afford me. + +"We returned to her boudoir. She began again to put my hair in order, +and I humoured all her whims; when they came to say that the Prince of +---- was below, and wished to see her. The name alone almost threw me +into a rage. + +"'What then,' exclaimed I, as I indignantly pushed her from me, +'who?--what prince?' + +"She made no answer to my enquiries. + +"'Show him upstairs,' said she coolly to the servant; and then turning +towards me, 'Dearest love! you whom I so fervently adore,' she added in +the most bewitching tone, 'I only ask of you one moment's patience; one +moment, one single moment! I will love you ten thousand times more +than ever: your compliance now shall never, during my life, be +forgotten.' + +"Indignation and astonishment deprived me of the power of utterance. +She renewed her entreaties, and I could not find adequate expressions +to convey my feelings of anger and contempt. But hearing the door of +the ante-chamber open, she grasped with one hand my locks, which were +floating over my shoulders, while she took her toilette mirror in the +other, and with all her strength led me in this manner to the door of +the boudoir, which she opened with her knee, and presented to the +foreigner, who had been prevented by the noise he heard inside from +advancing beyond the middle of the ante-chamber, a spectacle that must +have indeed amazed him. I saw a man extremely well dressed, but with a +particularly ill-favoured countenance. + +"Notwithstanding his embarrassment, he made her a profound bow. Manon +gave him no time for speech-making; she held up the mirror before him: +'Look, sir,' said she to him, 'observe yourself minutely, and I only +ask you then to do me justice. You wish me to love you: this is the +man whom I love, and whom I have sworn to love during my whole life: +make the comparison yourself. If you think you can rival him in my +affections, tell me at least upon what pretensions; for I solemnly +declare to you, that, in the estimation of your most obedient humble +servant, all the princes in Italy are not worth a single one of the +hairs I now hold in my hand.' + +"During this whimsical harangue, which she had apparently prepared +beforehand, I tried in vain to disengage myself, and feeling compassion +for a person of such consideration, I was desirous, by my politeness at +least, of making some reparation for this little outrage. But +recovering his self-possession with the ease of a man accustomed to the +world, he put an end to my feelings of pity by his reply, which was, in +my opinion, rude enough. + +"'Young lady! young lady!' said he to her, with a sardonic smile, 'my +eyes in truth are opened, and I perceive that you are much less of a +novice than I had pictured to myself.' + +"He immediately retired without looking at her again, muttering to +himself that the French women were quite as bad as those of Italy. I +felt little desire, on this occasion, to change his opinion of the fair +sex. + +"Manon let go my hand, threw herself into an armchair, and made the +room resound with her shouts of laughter. I candidly confess that I +was touched most sensibly by this unexpected proof of her affection, +and by the sacrifice of her own interest which I had just witnessed, +and which she could only have been induced to make by her excessive +love for me. Still, however, I could not help thinking she had gone +rather too far. I reproached her with what I called her indiscretion. +She told me that my rival, after having besieged her for several days +in the Bois de Boulogne, and having made her comprehend his object by +signs and grimaces, had actually made an open declaration of love; +informing her at the same time of his name and all his titles, by means +of a letter, which he had sent through the hands of the coachman who +drove her and her companions; that he had promised her, on the other +side of the Alps, a brilliant fortune and eternal adoration; that she +returned to Chaillot, with the intention of relating to me the whole +adventure, but that, fancying it might be made a source of amusement to +us, she could not help gratifying her whim; that she accordingly +invited the Italian prince, by a flattering note, to pay her a visit; +and that it had afforded her equal delight to make me an accomplice, +without giving me the least suspicion of her plan. I said not a word +of the information I had received through another channel; and the +intoxication of triumphant love made me applaud all she had done." + + + +IX + + + 'Twas ever thus;--from childhood's hour + I've seen my fondest hopes decay;-- + I never loved a tree or flower, + But it was sure to fade away; + I never nursed a dear Gazelle, + To glad me with its dark-blue eye, + But, when it came to know me well, + And love me, it was sure to die. + MOORE. + + +"During my life I have remarked that fate has invariably chosen for the +time of its severest visitations, those moments when my fortune seemed +established on the firmest basis. In the friendship of M. de T----, +and the tender affections of Manon, I imagined myself so thoroughly +happy, that I could not harbour the slightest apprehension of any new +misfortune: there was one, nevertheless, at this very period impending, +which reduced me to the state in which you beheld me at Passy, and +which eventually brought in its train miseries of so deplorable a +nature, that you will have difficulty in believing the simple recital +that follows. + +"One evening, when M. de T---- remained to sup with us, we heard the +sound of a carriage stopping at the door of the inn. Curiosity tempted +us to see who it was that arrived at this hour. They told us it was +young G---- M----, the son of our most vindictive enemy, of that +debauched old sinner who had incarcerated me in St. Lazare, and Manon +in the Hospital. His name made the blood mount to my cheeks. 'It is +Providence that has led him here,' said I to M. de T----, that I may +punish him for the cowardly baseness of his father. He shall not +escape without our measuring swords at least.' M. de T----, who knew +him, and was even one of his most intimate friends, tried to moderate +my feelings of anger towards him. He assured me that he was a most +amiable young man, and so little capable of countenancing his father's +conduct, that I could not be many minutes in his society without +feeling esteem and affection for him. After saying many more things in +his praise, he begged my permission to invite him to come and sit in +our apartment, as well as to share the remainder of our supper. As to +the objection of Manon being exposed by this proceeding to any danger, +he pledged his honour and good faith, that when once the young man +became acquainted with us, we should find in him a most zealous +defender. After such an assurance, I could offer no further opposition. + +"M. de T---- did not introduce him without delaying a few moments +outside, to let him know who we were. He certainly came in with an air +that prepossessed us in his favour: he shook hands with me; we sat +down; he admired Manon; he appeared pleased with me, and with +everything that belonged to us; and he ate with an appetite that did +abundant honour to our hospitality. + +"When the table was cleared, our conversation became more serious. He +hung down his head while he spoke of his father's conduct towards us. +He made, on his own part, the most submissive excuses. 'I say the less +upon the subject,' said he, 'because I do not wish to recall a +circumstance that fills me with grief and shame.' If he were sincere +in the beginning, he became much more so in the end, for the +conversation had not lasted half an hour, when I perceived that Manon's +charms had made a visible impression upon him. His looks and his +manner became by degrees more tender. He, however, allowed no +expression to escape him; but, without even the aid of jealousy, I had +had experience enough in love affairs to discern what was passing. + +"He remained with us till a late hour in the night, and before he took +his leave, congratulated himself on having made our acquaintance, and +begged permission to call and renew the offer of his services. He went +off next morning with M. de T----, who accepted the offer of a seat in +his carriage. + +"I felt, as I before said, not the slightest symptom of jealousy: I had +a more foolish confidence than ever in Manon's vows. This dear +creature had so absolute a dominion over my whole soul and affections, +that I could give place to no other sentiment towards her than that of +admiration and love. Far from considering it a crime that she should +have pleased young G---- M----, I was gratified by the effect of her +charms, and experienced only a feeling of pride in being loved by a +girl whom the whole world found so enchanting. I did not even deem it +worth while to mention my suspicions to her. We were for some days +occupied in arranging her new wardrobe, and in considering whether we +might venture to the theatre without the risk of being recognised. M. +de T---- came again to see us before the end of the week, and we +consulted him upon this point. He saw clearly that the way to please +Manon was to say yes: we resolved to go all together that same evening. + +"We were not able, however, to carry this intention into effect; for, +having taken me aside, 'I have been in the greatest embarrassment,' +said he to me, 'since I saw you, and that is the cause of my visiting +you today. G---- M---- is in love with your mistress: he told me so in +confidence; I am his intimate friend, and disposed to do him any +service in my power; but I am not less devoted to you; his designs +appeared to me unjustifiable, and I expressed my disapprobation of +them; I should not have divulged his secret, if he had only intended to +use fair and ordinary means for gaining Manon's affections; but he is +aware of her capricious disposition; he has learned, God knows how, +that her ruling passion is for affluence and pleasure; and, as he is +already in possession of a considerable fortune, he declared his +intention of tempting her at once with a present of great value, and +the offer of an annuity of six thousand francs; if I had in all other +points considered you both in an equal light, I should have had perhaps +to do more violence to my feelings in betraying him: but a sense of +justice as well as of friendship was on your side, and the more so from +having been myself the imprudent, though unconscious, cause of his +passion in introducing him here. I feel it my duty therefore to avert +any evil consequences from the mischief I have inadvertently caused. + +"I thanked M. de T---- for rendering me so important a service, and +confessed to him, in a like spirit of confidence, that Manon's +disposition was precisely what G---- M---- had imagined; that is to +say, that she was incapable of enduring even the thought of poverty. +'However,' said I to him, 'when it is a mere question of more or less, +I do not believe that she would give me up for any other person; I can +afford to let her want for nothing, and I have from day to day reason +to hope that my fortune will improve; I only dread one thing,' +continued I, 'which is, that G---- M---- may take unfair advantage of +the knowledge he has of our place of residence, and bring us into +trouble by disclosing it.' + +"M. de T---- assured me that I might be perfectly easy upon that head; +that G---- M---- might be capable of a silly passion, but not of an act +of baseness; that if he ever could be villain enough for such a thing, +he, de T----, would be the first to punish him, and by that means make +reparation for the mischief he had occasioned. 'I feel grateful for +what you say,' said I, 'but the mischief will have been all done, and +the remedy even seems doubtful; the wisest plan therefore will be to +quit Chaillot, and go to reside elsewhere.' 'Very true,' said M. de +T----, 'but you will not be able to do it quickly enough, for G---- +M---- is to be here at noon; he told me so yesterday, and it was that +intelligence that made me come so early this morning to inform you of +his intentions. You may expect him every moment.'" + +"The urgency of the occasion made me view this matter in a more serious +light. As it seemed to me impossible to escape the visit of G---- +M----, and perhaps equally so to prevent him from making his +declaration to Manon, I resolved to tell her beforehand of the designs +of my new rival. I fancied that when she knew I was aware of the +offers that would be made to her, and made probably in my presence, she +would be the more likely to reject them. I told M. de T---- of my +intention, and he observed that he thought it a matter of extreme +delicacy. 'I admit it,' said I, 'but no man ever had more reason for +confiding in a mistress, than I have for relying on the affection of +mine. The only thing that could possibly for a moment blind her, is +the splendour of his offers; no doubt she loves her ease, but she loves +me also; and in my present circumstances, I cannot believe that she +would abandon me for the son of the man who had incarcerated her in the +Magdalen.' In fine, I persisted in my intentions, and taking Manon +aside, I candidly told her what I had learned. + +"She thanked me for the good opinion I entertained of her, and promised +to receive G---- M----'s offers in a way that should prevent a +repetition of them. 'No,' said I, 'you must not irritate him by +incivility: he has it in his power to injure us. But you know well +enough, you little rogue,' continued I, smiling, 'how to rid yourself +of a disagreeable or useless lover!' After a moment's pause she said: +'I have just thought of an admirable plan, and I certainly have a +fertile invention. G---- M---- is the son of our bitterest enemy: we +must avenge ourselves on the father, not through the son's person, but +through his purse. My plan is to listen to his proposals, accept his +presents, and then laugh at him.' + +"'The project is not a bad one,' said I to her; 'but you forget, my +dear child, that it is precisely the same course that conducted us +formerly to the penitentiary.' I represented to her the danger of such +an enterprise; she replied, that the only thing necessary was to take +our measures with caution, and she found an answer to every objection I +started. 'Show me the lover who does not blindly humour every whim of +an adored mistress, and I will then allow that I was wrong in yielding +so easily on this occasion.' The resolution was taken to make a dupe +of G----M----, and by an unforeseen and unlucky turn of fortune, I +became the victim myself. + +"About eleven o'clock his carriage drove up to the door. He made the +most complaisant and refined speeches upon the liberty he had taken of +coming to dine with us uninvited. He was not surprised at meeting M. +de T----, who had the night before promised to meet him there, and who +had, under some pretext or other, refused a seat in his carriage. +Although there was not a single person in the party who was not at +heart meditating treachery, we all sat down with an air of mutual +confidence and friendship. G---- M---- easily found an opportunity of +declaring his sentiments to Manon. I did not wish to annoy him by +appearing vigilant, so I left the room purposely for several minutes. + +"I perceived on my return that he had not had to encounter any very +discouraging austerity on Manon's part, for he was in the best possible +spirits. I affected good humour also. He was laughing in his mind at +my simplicity, while I was not less diverted by his own. During the +whole evening we were thus supplying to each other an inexhaustible +fund of amusement. I contrived, before his departure, to let him have +Manon for another moment to himself; so that he had reason to applaud +my complaisance, as well as the hospitable reception I had given him. + +"As soon as he got into his carriage with M. de T----, Manon ran +towards me with extended arms, and embraced me; laughing all the while +immoderately. She repeated all his speeches and proposals, without +altering a word. This was the substance: He of course adored her; and +wished to share with her a large fortune of which he was already in +possession, without counting what he was to inherit at his father's +death. She should be sole mistress of his heart and fortune; and as an +immediate token of his liberality, he was ready at once to supply her +with an equipage, a furnished house, a lady's maid, three footmen, and +a man-cook. + +"'There is indeed a son,' said I, 'very different from his father! But +tell me truly, now, does not such an offer tempt you?' 'Me!' she +replied, adapting to the idea two verses from Racine-- + + Moi! vous me soupconnez de cette perfidie? + Moi! je pourrais souffrir un visage odieux, + Qui rappelle toujours l'Hopital a mes yeux? + + +'No!' replied I, continuing the parody-- + + J'aurais peine a penser que l'Hopital, madame, + Fut un trait dont l'amour l'eut grave dans votre ame. + +'But it assuredly is a temptation--a furnished house, a lady's maid, a +cook, a carriage, and three servants--gallantry can offer but few more +seductive temptations.' + +"She protested that her heart was entirely mine, and that it was for +the future only open to the impressions I chose to make upon it. 'I +look upon his promises,' said she, 'as an instrument for revenge, +rather than as a mark of love.' I asked her if she thought of +accepting the hotel and the carriage. She replied that his money was +all she wanted." + +The difficulty was, how to obtain the one without the other; we +resolved to wait for a detailed explanation of the whole project in a +letter which G---- M---- promised to write to her, and which in fact +she received next morning by a servant out of livery, who, very +cleverly, contrived an opportunity of speaking to her alone. + +She told him to wait for an answer, and immediately brought the letter +to me: we opened it together. + +"Passing over the usual commonplace expressions of tenderness, it gave +a particular detail of my rival's promises. There were no limits to +the expense. He engaged to pay her down ten thousand francs on her +taking possession of the hotel, and to supply her expenditure in such a +way as that she should never have less than that sum at her command. +The appointed day for her entering into possession was close at hand. +He only required two days for all his preparations, and he mentioned +the name of the street and the hotel, where he promised to be in +waiting for her in the afternoon of the second day, if she could manage +to escape my vigilance. That was the only point upon which he begged +of her to relieve his uneasiness; he seemed to be quite satisfied upon +every other: but he added that, if she apprehended any difficulty in +escaping from me, he could find sure means for facilitating her flight. + +"G---- M---- the younger was more cunning than the old gentleman. He +wanted to secure his prey before he counted out the cash. We +considered what course Manon should adopt. I made another effort to +induce her to give up the scheme, and strongly represented all its +dangers; nothing, however, could shake her determination. + +"Her answer to G---- M---- was brief, merely assuring him that she +could be, without the least difficulty, in Paris on the appointed day +and that he might expect her with certainty. + +"We then resolved, that I should instantly hire lodgings in some +village on the other side of Paris, and that I should take our luggage +with me; that in the afternoon of the following day, which was the time +appointed, she should go to Paris; that, after receiving G---- M----'s +presents, she should earnestly entreat him to take her to the theatre; +that she should carry with her as large a portion of the money as she +could, and charge my servant with the remainder, for it was agreed that +he was to accompany her. He was the man who had rescued her from the +Magdalen, and he was devotedly attached to us. I was to be with a +hackney-coach at the end of the street of St. Andre-des-arcs, and to +leave it there about seven o'clock, while I stole, under cover of the +twilight, to the door of the theatre. Manon promised to make some +excuse for quitting her box for a moment, when she would come down and +join me. The rest could be easily done. We were then to return to my +hackney-coach, and quit Paris by the Faubourg St. Antoine, which was +the road to our new residence. + +"This plan, extravagant as it was, appeared to us satisfactorily +arranged. But our greatest folly was in imagining that, succeed as we +might in its execution, it would be possible for us to escape the +consequences. Nevertheless, we exposed ourselves to all risk with the +blindest confidence. Manon took her departure with Marcel--so was the +servant called. I could not help feeling a pang as she took leave of +me. 'Manon,' said I, 'do not deceive me; will you be faithful to me?' +She complained, in the tenderest tone, of my want of confidence, and +renewed all her protestations of eternal love. + +"She was to be in Paris at three o'clock. I went some time after. I +spent the remainder of the afternoon moping in the Cafe de Fere, near +the Pont St. Michel. I remained there till nightfall. I then hired a +hackney-coach, which I placed, according to our plan, at the end of the +street of St. Andre-des-arcs, and went on foot to the door of the +theatre. I was surprised at not seeing Marcel, who was to have been +there waiting for me. I waited patiently for a full hour, standing +among a crowd of lackeys, and gazing at every person that passed. At +length, seven o'clock having struck, without my being able to discover +anything or any person connected with our project, I procured a pit +ticket, in order to ascertain if Manon and G---- M---- were in the +boxes. Neither one nor the other could I find. I returned to the door, +where I again stopped for a quarter of an hour, in an agony of +impatience and uneasiness. No person appeared, and I went back to the +coach, without knowing what to conjecture. The coachman, seeing me, +advanced a few paces towards me, and said, with a mysterious air, that +a very handsome young person had been waiting more than an hour for me +in the coach; that she described me so exactly that he could not be +mistaken, and having learned that I intended to return, she said she +would enter the coach and wait with patience. + +"I felt confident that it was Manon. I approached. I beheld a very +pretty face, certainly, but alas, not hers. The lady asked, in a voice +that I had never before heard, whether she had the honour of speaking +to the Chevalier des Grieux? I answered, 'That is my name.' 'I have a +letter for you,' said she, 'which will tell you what has brought me +here, and by what means I learned your name.' I begged she would allow +me a few moments to read it in an adjoining cafe. She proposed to +follow me, and advised me to ask for a private room, to which I +consented. 'Who is the writer of this letter?' I enquired. She +referred me to the letter itself. + +"I recognised Manon's hand. This is nearly the substance of the +letter: G---- M---- had received her with a politeness and +magnificence beyond anything she had previously conceived. He had +loaded her with the most gorgeous presents. She had the prospect of +almost imperial splendour. She assured me, however, that she could not +forget me amidst all this magnificence; but that, not being able to +prevail on G---- M---- to take her that evening to the play, she was +obliged to defer the pleasure of seeing me; and that, as a slight +consolation for the disappointment which she feared this might cause +me, she had found a messenger in one of the loveliest girls in all +Paris. She signed herself, 'Your loving and constant, MANON LESCAUT.' + +"There was something so cruel and so insulting in the letter, that, +what between indignation and grief, I resolutely determined to forget +eternally my ungrateful and perjured mistress. I looked at the young +woman who stood before me: she was exceedingly pretty, and I could have +wished that she had been sufficiently so to render me inconstant in my +turn. But there were wanting those lovely and languishing eyes, that +divine gracefulness, that exquisite complexion, in fine, those +innumerable charms which nature had so profusely lavished upon the +perfidious Manon. 'No, no,' said I, turning away from her; 'the +ungrateful wretch who sent you knew in her heart that she was sending +you on a useless errand. Return to her; and tell her from me, to +triumph in her crime, and enjoy it, if she can, without remorse. I +abandon her in despair, and, at the same time, renounce all women, who, +without her fascination, are no doubt her equals in baseness and +infidelity.' + +"I was then on the point of going away, determined never to bestow +another thought on Manon: the mortal jealousy that was racking my heart +lay concealed under a dark and sullen melancholy, and I fancied, +because I felt none of those violent emotions which I had experienced +upon former occasions, that I had shaken off my thraldom. Alas! I was +even at that moment infinitely more the dupe of love, than of G---- +M---- and Manon. + +"The girl who had brought the letter, seeing me about to depart, asked +me what I wished her to say to M. G---- M----, and to the lady who was +with him? At this question, I stepped back again into the room, and by +one of those unaccountable transitions that are only known to the +victims of violent passion, I passed in an instant from the state of +subdued tranquillity which I have just described, into an ungovernable +fury 'Away!' said I to her, 'tell the traitor G---- M----and his +abandoned mistress the state of despair into which your accursed +mission has cast me; but warn them that it shall not be long a source +of amusement to them, and that my own hands shall be warmed with the +heart's blood of both!' I sank back upon a chair; my hat fell on one +side, and my cane upon the other: torrents of bitter tears rolled down +my cheeks. The paroxysm of rage changed into a profound and silent +grief: I did nothing but weep and sigh. 'Approach, my child, +approach,' said I to the young girl; 'approach, since it is you they +have sent to bring me comfort; tell me whether you have any balm to +administer for the pangs of despair and rage--any argument to offer +against the crime of self-destruction, which I have resolved upon, +after ridding the world of two perfidious monsters. Yes, approach,' +continued I, perceiving that she advanced with timid and doubtful +steps; 'come and dry my sorrows; come and restore peace to my mind; +come and tell me that at least you love me: you are handsome--I may +perhaps love you in return.' The poor child, who was only sixteen or +seventeen years of age, and who appeared more modest than girls of her +class generally are, was thunderstruck at this unusual scene. She +however gently approached to caress me, when with uplifted hands I +rudely repulsed her. 'What do you wish with me?' exclaimed I to her. +'Ah! you are a woman, and of a sex I abhor, and can no longer tolerate; +the very gentleness of your look threatens me with some new treason. +Go, leave me here alone!' She made me a curtsy without uttering a +word, and turned to go out. I called to her to stop: 'Tell me at +least,' said I, 'wherefore--how--with what design they sent you here? +how did you discover my name, or the place where you could find me?' + +"She told me that she had long known M. G---- M----; that he had sent +for her that evening about five o'clock; and that, having followed the +servant who had been dispatched to her, she was shown into a large +house, where she found him playing at picquet with a beautiful young +woman; and that they both charged her to deliver the letter into my +hands, after telling her that she would find me in a hackney-coach at +the bottom of the street of St. Andre. I asked if they had said +nothing more. She blushed while she replied, that they had certainly +made her believe that I should be glad of her society. 'They have +deceived you too,' said I, 'my poor girl--they have deceived you; you +are a woman, and probably wish for a lover; but you must find one who +is rich and happy, and it is not here you will find him. Return, +return to M. G---- M----; he possesses everything requisite to make a +man beloved. He has furnished houses and equipages to bestow, while I, +who have nothing but constancy of love to offer, am despised for my +poverty, and laughed at for my simplicity.' + +"I continued in a tone of sorrow or violence, as these feelings +alternately took possession of my mind. However, by the very excess of +my agitation, I became gradually so subdued as to be able calmly to +reflect upon the situation of affairs. I compared this new misfortune +with those which I had already experienced of the same kind, and I +could not perceive that there was any more reason for despair now, than +upon former occasions. I knew Manon: why then distress myself on +account of a calamity which I could not but have plainly foreseen? Why +not rather think of seeking a remedy? there was yet time; I at least +ought not to spare my own exertions, if I wished to avoid the bitter +reproach of having contributed, by my own indolence, to my misery. I +thereupon set about considering every means of raising a gleam of hope. + +"To attempt to take her by main force from the hands of G----M---- was +too desperate a project, calculated only to ruin me, and without the +slightest probability of succeeding. But it seemed to me that if I +could ensure a moment's interview with her, I could not fail to regain +my influence over her affections. I so well knew how to excite her +sensibilities! I was so confident of her love for me! The very whim +even of sending me a pretty woman by way of consoling me, I would stake +my existence, was her idea, and that it was the suggestion of her own +sincere sympathy for my sufferings. + +"I resolved to exert every nerve to procure an interview. After a +multitude of plans which I canvassed one after another, I fixed upon +the following: M. de T---- had shown so much sincerity in the services +he had rendered me, that I could not entertain a doubt of his zeal and +good faith. I proposed to call upon him at once, and make him send for +G---- M----, under pretence of some important business. Half an hour +would suffice to enable me to see Manon. I thought it would not be +difficult to get introduced into her apartment during G---- M----'s +absence. + +"This determination pacified me, and I gave a liberal present to the +girl, who was still with me; and in order to prevent her from returning +to those who had sent her, I took down her address, and half promised +to call upon her at a later hour. I then got into the hackney-coach, +and drove quickly to M. de T----'s. I was fortunate enough to find him +at home. I had been apprehensive upon this point as I went along. A +single sentence put him in possession of the whole case, as well of my +sufferings, as of the friendly service I had come to supplicate at his +hands. + +"He was so astonished to learn that G---- M---- had been able to seduce +Manon from me, that, not being aware that I had myself lent a hand to +my own misfortune, he generously offered to assemble his friends, and +evoke their aid for the deliverance of my mistress. I told him that +such a proceeding might by its publicity be attended with danger to +Manon and to me. 'Let us risk our lives,' said I, 'only as a last +resource. My plan is of a more peaceful nature, and promising at least +equal success.' He entered without a murmur into all that I proposed; +so again stating that all I required was, that he should send for G---- +M----, and contrive to keep him an hour or two from home, we at once +set about our operations. + +"We first of all considered what expedient we could make use of for +keeping him out so long a time. I proposed that he should write a note +dated from a cafe, begging of him to come there as soon as possible +upon an affair of too urgent importance to admit of delay. 'I will +watch,' added I, 'the moment he quits the house, and introduce myself +without any difficulty, being only known to Manon, and my servant +Marcel. You can at the same time tell G---- M----, that the important +affair upon which you wished to see him was the immediate want of a sum +of money; that you had just emptied your purse at play, and that you +had played on, with continued bad luck, upon credit. He will require +some time to take you to his father's house, where he keeps his money, +and I shall have quite sufficient for the execution of my plan.' + +"M. de T---- minutely adhered to these directions. I left him in a +cafe, where he at once wrote his letter. I took my station close by +Manon's house. I saw de T----'s messenger arrive, and G---- M---- come +out the next moment, followed by a servant. Allowing him barely time to +get out of the street, I advanced to my deceiver's door, and +notwithstanding the anger I felt, I knocked with as much respect as at +the portal of a church. Fortunately it was Marcel who opened for me. +Although I had nothing to apprehend from the other servants, I asked +him in a low voice if he could conduct me unseen into the room in which +Manon was. He said that was easily done, by merely ascending the great +staircase. 'Come then at once,' said I to him, 'and endeavour to +prevent anyone from coming up while I am there.' I reached the +apartment without any difficulty. + +"Manon was reading. I had there an opportunity of admiring the +singular character of this girl. Instead of being nervous or alarmed +at my appearance, she scarcely betrayed a symptom of surprise, which +few persons, however indifferent, could restrain, on seeing one whom +they imagined to be far distant. 'Ah! it is you, my dear love,' said +she, approaching to embrace me with her usual tenderness. 'Good +heavens, how venturesome and foolhardy you are! Who could have +expected to see you in this place!' Instead of embracing her in return, +I repulsed her with indignation, and retreated two or three paces from +her. This evidently disconcerted her. She remained immovable, and +fixed her eyes on me, while she changed colour. + +"I was in reality so delighted to behold her once more, that, with so +much real cause for anger, I could hardly bring my lips to upbraid her. +My heart, however, felt the cruel outrage she had inflicted upon me. I +endeavoured to revive the recollection of it in my own mind, in order +to excite my feelings, and put on a look of stern indignation. I +remained silent for a few moments, when I remarked that she observed my +agitation, and trembled: apparently the effect of her fears. + +"I could not longer endure this spectacle. 'Ah! Manon,' said I to her +in the mildest tone, 'faithless and perjured Manon! How am I to +complain of your conduct? I see you pale and trembling, and I am still +so much alive to your slightest sufferings, that I am unwilling to add +to them by my reproaches. But, Manon, I tell you that my heart is +pierced with sorrow at your treatment of me--treatment that is seldom +inflicted but with the purpose of destroying one's life. This is the +third time, Manon; I have kept a correct account; it is impossible to +forget that. It is now for you to consider what course you will adopt; +for my afflicted heart is no longer capable of sustaining such shocks. +I know and feel that it must give way, and it is at this moment ready +to burst with grief. I can say no more,' added I, throwing myself into +a chair; 'I have hardly strength to speak, or to support myself.' + +"She made me no reply; but when I was seated, she sank down upon her +knees, and rested her head upon my lap, covering her face with her +hands. I perceived in a moment that she was shedding floods of tears. +Heavens! with what conflicting sensations was I at that instant +agitated! 'Ah! Manon, Manon,' said I, sighing, 'it is too late to give +me tears after the death-blow you have inflicted. You affect a sorrow +which you cannot feel. The greatest of your misfortunes is no doubt my +presence, which has been always an obstacle to your happiness. Open +your eyes; look up and see who it is that is here; you will not throw +away tears of tenderness upon an unhappy wretch whom you have betrayed +and abandoned.' + +"She kissed my hands without changing her position. 'Inconstant +Manon,' said I again, 'ungrateful and faithless girl, where now are all +your promises and your vows? Capricious and cruel that you are! what +has now become of the love that you protested for me this very day? +Just Heavens,' added I, 'is it thus you permit a traitor to mock you, +after having called you so solemnly to witness her vows! Recompense +and reward then are for the perjured! Despair and neglect are the lot +of fidelity and truth!' + +"These words conveyed even to my own mind a sentiment so bitterly +severe, that, in spite of myself, some tears escaped from me. Manon +perceived this by the change in my voice. She at length spoke. 'I +must have indeed done something most culpable,' said she, sobbing with +grief, 'to have excited and annoyed you to this degree; but, I call +Heaven to attest my utter unconsciousness of crime, and my innocence of +all criminal intention!' + +"This speech struck me as so devoid of reason and of truth, that I +could not restrain a lively feeling of anger. 'Horrible hypocrisy!' +cried I; 'I see more plainly than ever that you are dishonest and +treacherous. Now at length I learn your wretched disposition. Adieu, +base creature,' said I, rising from my seat; 'I would prefer death a +thousand times rather than continue to hold the slightest communication +with you. May Heaven punish me, if I ever again waste upon you the +smallest regard! Live on with your new lover--renounce all feelings of +honour--detest me--your love is now a matter to me of utter +insignificance!' + +"Manon was so terrified by the violence of my anger, that, remaining on +her knees by the chair from which I had just before risen, breathless +and trembling, she fixed her eyes upon me. I advanced a little farther +towards the door, but, unless I had lost the last spark of humanity, I +could not continue longer unmoved by such a spectacle. + +"So far, indeed, was I from this kind of stoical indifference, that, +rushing at once into the very opposite extreme, I returned, or rather +flew back to her without an instant's reflection. I lifted her in my +arms; I gave her a thousand tender kisses; I implored her to pardon my +ungovernable temper; I confessed that I was an absolute brute, and +unworthy of being loved by such an angel. + +"I made her sit down, and throwing myself, in my turn, upon my knees, I +conjured her to listen to me in that attitude. Then I briefly +expressed all that a submissive and impassioned lover could say most +tender and respectful. I supplicated her pardon. She let her arms fall +over my neck, as she said that it was she who stood in need of +forgiveness, and begged of me in mercy to forget all the annoyances she +had caused me, and that she began, with reason, to fear that I should +not approve of what she had to say in her justification. 'Me!' said I +interrupting her impatiently; 'I require no justification; I approve of +all you have done. It is not for me to demand excuses for anything you +do; I am but too happy, too contented, if my dear Manon will only leave +me master of her affections! But,' continued I, remembering that it +was the crisis of my fate, 'may I not, Manon, all-powerful Manon, you +who wield at your pleasure my joys and sorrows, may I not be permitted, +after having conciliated you by my submission and all the signs of +repentance, to speak to you now of my misery and distress? May I now +learn from your own lips what my destiny is to be, and whether you are +resolved to sign my death-warrant, by spending even a single night with +my rival?' + +"She considered a moment before she replied. 'My good chevalier,' said +she, resuming the most tranquil tone, 'if you had only at first +explained yourself thus distinctly, you would have spared yourself a +world of trouble, and prevented a scene that has really annoyed me. +Since your distress is the result of jealousy, I could at first have +cured that by offering to accompany you where you pleased. But I +imagined it was caused by the letter which I was obliged to write in +the presence of G---- M----, and of the girl whom we sent with it. I +thought you might have construed that letter into a mockery; and have +fancied that, by sending such a messenger, I meant to announce my +abandonment of you for the sake of G---- M----. It was this idea that +at once overwhelmed me with grief; for, innocent as I knew myself to +be, I could not but allow that appearances were against me. However,' +continued she, 'I will leave you to judge of my conduct, after I shall +have explained the whole truth.' + +"She then told me all that had occurred to her after joining G---- +M----, whom she found punctually awaiting her arrival. He had in fact +received her in the most princely style. He showed her through all the +apartments, which were fitted up in the neatest and most correct taste. +He had counted out to her in her boudoir ten thousand francs, as well +as a quantity of jewels, amongst which were the identical pearl +necklace and bracelets which she had once before received as a present +from his father. He then led her into a splendid room, which she had +not before seen, and in which an exquisite collation was served; she +was waited upon by the new servants, whom he had hired purposely for +her, and whom he now desired to consider themselves as exclusively her +attendants; the carriage and the horses were afterwards paraded, and he +then proposed a game of cards, until supper should be announced. + +"'I acknowledge,' continued Manon, 'that I was dazzled by all this +magnificence. It struck me that it would be madness to sacrifice at +once so many good things for the mere sake of carrying off the money +and the jewels already in my possession; that it was a certain fortune +made for both you and me, and that we might pass the remainder of our +lives most agreeably and comfortably at the expense of G---- M----. + +"'Instead of proposing the theatre, I thought it more prudent to sound +his feelings with regard to you, in order to ascertain what facilities +we should have for meeting in future, on the supposition that I could +carry my project into effect. I found him of a most tractable +disposition. He asked me how I felt towards you, and if I had not +experienced some compunction at quitting you. I told him that you were +so truly amiable, and had ever treated me with such undeviating +kindness, that it was impossible I could hate you. He admitted that +you were a man of merit, and expressed an ardent desire to gain your +friendship. + +"'He was anxious to know how I thought you would take my elopement, +particularly when you should learn that I was in his hands. I +answered, that our love was of such long standing as to have had time +to moderate a little; that, besides, you were not in very easy +circumstances, and would probably not consider my departure as any +severe misfortune, inasmuch as it would relieve you from a burden of no +very insignificant nature. I added that, being perfectly convinced you +would take the whole matter rationally, I had not hesitated to tell you +that I had some business in Paris; but you had at once consented, and +that having accompanied me yourself, you did not seem very uneasy when +we separated. + +"'If I thought,' said he to me, 'that he could bring himself to live on +good terms with me, I should be too happy to make him a tender of my +services and attentions.' I assured him that, from what I knew of your +disposition, I had no doubt you would acknowledge his kindness in a +congenial spirit: especially, I added, if he could assist you in your +affairs, which had become embarrassed since your disagreement with your +family. He interrupted me by declaring, that he would gladly render +you any service in his power, and that if you were disposed to form a +new attachment, he would introduce you to an extremely pretty woman, +whom he had just given up for me. + +"'I approved of all he said,' she added, 'for fear of exciting any +suspicions; and being more and more satisfied of the feasibility of my +scheme, I only longed for an opportunity of letting you into it, lest +you should be alarmed at my not keeping my appointment. With this view +I suggested the idea of sending this young lady to you, in order to +have an opportunity of writing; I was obliged to have recourse to this +plan, because I could not see a chance of his leaving me to myself for +a moment.' + +"'He was greatly amused with my proposition; he called his valet, and +asking him whether he could immediately find his late mistress, he +dispatched him at once in search of her. He imagined that she would +have to go to Chaillot to meet you, but I told him that, when we +parted, I promised to meet you again at the theatre, or that, if +anything should prevent me from going there, you were to wait for me in +a coach at the end of the street of St. Andre; that consequently it +would be best to send your new love there, if it were only to save you +from the misery of suspense during the whole night. I said it would be +also necessary to write you a line of explanation, without which you +would probably be puzzled by the whole transaction. He consented; but +I was obliged to write in his presence; and I took especial care not to +explain matters too palpably in my letter. + +"'This is the history,' said Manon, 'of the entire affair. I conceal +nothing from you, of either my conduct or my intentions. The girl +arrived; I thought her handsome; and as I doubted not that you would be +mortified by my absence, I did most sincerely hope that she would be +able to dissipate something of your ennui: for it is the fidelity of +the heart alone that I value. I should have been too delighted to have +sent Marcel, but I could not for a single instant find an opportunity +of telling him what I wished to communicate to you.' She finished her +story by describing the embarrassment into which M. de T----'s letter +had thrown G---- M----; 'he hesitated,' said she, 'about leaving, and +assured me that he should not be long absent; and it is on this account +that I am uneasy at seeing you here, and that I betrayed, at your +appearance, some slight feeling of surprise.' + +"I listened to her with great patience. There were certainly parts of +her recital sufficiently cruel and mortifying; for the intention, at +least, of the infidelity was so obvious, that she had not even taken +the trouble to disguise it. She could never have imagined that G---- +M---- meant to venerate her as a vestal. She must therefore clearly +have made up her mind to pass at least one night with him. What an +avowal for a lover's ears! However, I considered myself as partly the +cause of her guilt, by having been the first to let her know G---- +M----'s sentiments towards her, and by the silly readiness with which I +entered into this rash project. Besides, by a natural bent of my mind, +peculiar I believe to myself, I was duped by the ingenuousness of her +story--by that open and winning manner with which she related even the +circumstances most calculated to annoy me. 'There is nothing of wanton +vice,' said I to myself, 'in her transgressions; she is volatile and +imprudent, but she is sincere and affectionate.' My love alone +rendered me blind to all her faults. I was enchanted at the prospect +of rescuing her that very night from my rival. I said to her: 'With +whom do you mean to pass the night?' She was evidently disconcerted by +the question, and answered me in an embarrassed manner with BUTS and +IFS. + +"I felt for her, and interrupted her by saying that I at once expected +her to accompany me. + +"'Nothing can give me more pleasure,' said she; 'but you don't approve +then of my project?' + +"'Is it not enough,' replied I, 'that I approve of all that you have, +up to this moment, done?' + +"'What,' said she, 'are we not even to take the ten thousand francs +with us? Why, he gave me the money; it is mine.' + +"I advised her to leave everything, and let us think only of escaping +for although I had been hardly half an hour with her, I began to dread +the return of G---- M----. However, she so earnestly urged me to +consent to our going out with something in our pockets, that I thought +myself bound to make her, on my part, some concession, in return for +all she yielded to me. + +"While we were getting ready for our departure, I heard someone knock +at the street door. I felt convinced that it must be G---- M----; and +in the heat of the moment, I told Manon, that as sure as he appeared I +would take his life. In truth, I felt that I was not sufficiently +recovered from my late excitement to be able to restrain my fury if I +met him. Marcel put an end to my uneasiness, by handing me a letter +which he had received for me at the door; it was from M. de T----. + +"He told me that, as G---- M---- had gone to his father's house for the +money which he wanted, he had taken advantage of his absence to +communicate to me an amusing idea that had just come into his head; +that it appeared to him, I could not possibly take a more agreeable +revenge upon my rival, than by eating his supper, and spending the +night in the very bed which he had hoped to share with my mistress; all +this seemed to him easy enough, if I could only find two or three men +upon whom I could depend, of courage sufficient to stop him in the +street, and detain him in custody until next morning; that he would +undertake to keep him occupied for another hour at least, under some +pretext, which he could devise before G---- M----'s return. + +"I showed the note to Manon; I told her at the same time of the manner +in which I had procured the interview with her. My scheme, as well as +the new one of M. de T----'s, delighted her: we laughed heartily at it +for some minutes; but when I treated it as a mere joke, I was surprised +at her insisting seriously upon it, as a thing perfectly practicable, +and too delightful to be neglected. In vain I enquired where she +thought I could possibly find, on a sudden, men fit for such an +adventure? and on whom I could rely for keeping G---- M---- in strict +custody? She said that I should at least try, as M. de T---- ensured +us yet a full hour; and as to my other objections, she said that I was +playing the tyrant, and did not show the slightest indulgence to her +fancies. She said that it was impossible there could be a more +enchanting project. 'You will have his place at supper; you will sleep +in his bed; and tomorrow, as early as you like, you can walk off with +both his mistress and his money. You may thus, at one blow, be amply +revenged upon father and son.' + +"I yielded to her entreaties, in spite of the secret misgivings of my +own mind, which seemed to forebode the unhappy catastrophe that +afterwards befell me. I went out with the intention of asking two or +three guardsmen, with whom Lescaut had made me acquainted, to undertake +the arrest of G---- M----. I found only one of them at home, but he +was a fellow ripe for any adventure; and he no sooner heard our plan, +than he assured me of certain success: all he required were six +pistoles, to reward the three private soldiers whom he determined to +employ in the business. I begged of him to lose no time. He got them +together in less than a quarter of an hour. I waited at his lodgings +till he returned with them, and then conducted him to the corner of a +street through which I knew G---- M---- must pass in going back to +Manon's house. I requested him not to treat G---- M---- roughly, but +to keep him confined, and so strictly watched, until seven o'clock next +morning, that I might be free from all apprehension of his escape. He +told me his intention was to bring him a prisoner to his own room, and +make him undress and sleep in his bed, while he and his gallant +comrades should spend the night in drinking and playing. + +"I remained with them until we saw G---- M---- returning homewards; and +I then withdrew a few steps into a dark recess in the street, to enjoy +so entertaining and extraordinary a scene. The officer challenged him +with a pistol to his breast, and then told him, in a civil tone, that +he did not want either his money or his life; but that if he hesitated +to follow him, or if he gave the slightest alarm, he would blow his +brains out. G---- M----, seeing that his assailant was supported by +three soldiers, and perhaps not uninfluenced by a dread of the pistol, +yielded without further resistance. I saw him led away like a lamb." + + + +X + + + What lost a world, and bade a hero fly? + The timid tear in Cleopatra's eye. + Yet be the soft triumvir's fault forgiven, + By this, how many lose--not earth--but heaven! + Consign their souls to man's eternal foe, + And seal their own, to spare some wanton's, woe! + BYRON. + + +I soon returned to Manon; and to prevent the servants from having any +suspicion, I told her in their hearing, that she need not expect M. +G---- M---- to supper; that he was most reluctantly occupied with +business which detained him, and that he had commissioned me to come +and make his excuses, and to fill his place at the supper table; which, +in the company of so beautiful a lady, I could not but consider a very +high honour. She seconded me with her usual adroitness. We sat down +to supper. I put on the most serious air I could assume, while the +servants were in the room, and at length having got rid of them, we +passed, beyond all comparison, the most agreeable evening of my life. +I gave Marcel orders to find a hackney-coach, and engage it to be at +the gate on the following morning a little before six o'clock. I +pretended to take leave of Manon about midnight, but easily gaining +admission again, through Marcel, I proceeded to occupy G---- M----'s +bed, as I had filled his place at the supper table. + +"In the meantime our evil genius was at work for our destruction. We +were like children enjoying the success of our silly scheme, while the +sword hung suspended over our heads. The thread which upheld it was +just about to break; but the better to understand all the circumstances +of our ruin, it is necessary to know the immediate cause. + +"G---- M---- was followed by a servant, when he was stopped by my +friend the guardsman. Alarmed by what he saw, this fellow retraced his +steps, and the first thing he did was to go and inform old G---- M---- +of what had just happened. + +"Such a piece of news, of course, excited him greatly. This was his +only son; and considering the old gentleman's advanced age, he was +extremely active and ardent. He first enquired of the servant what his +son had been doing that afternoon; whether he had had any quarrel on +his own account, or interfered in any other; whether he had been in any +suspicious house. The lackey, who fancied his master in imminent +danger, and thought he ought not to have any reserve in such an +emergency, disclosed at once all that he knew of his connection with +Manon, and of the expense he had gone to on her account; the manner in +which he had passed the afternoon with her until about nine o'clock, +the circumstance of his leaving her, and the outrage he encountered on +his return. This was enough to convince him that his son's affair was a +love quarrel. Although it was then at least half-past ten at night, he +determined at once to call on the lieutenant of police. He begged of +him to issue immediate orders to all the detachments that were out on +duty, and he himself, taking some men with him, hastened to the street +where his son had been stopped: he visited every place where he thought +he might have a chance of finding him; and not being able to discover +the slightest trace of him, he went off to the house of his mistress, +to which he thought he probably might by this time have returned. + +"I was stepping into bed when he arrived. The door of the chamber +being closed, I did not hear the knock at the gate, but he rushed into +the house, accompanied by two archers of the guard, and after fruitless +enquiries of the servants about his son, he resolved to try whether he +could get any information from their mistress. He came up to the +apartment, still accompanied by the guard. We were just on the point +of lying down when he burst open the door, and electrified us by his +appearance. 'Heavens!' said I to Manon, 'it is old G---- M----.' I +attempted to get possession of my sword; but it was fortunately +entangled in my belt. The archers, who saw my object, advanced to lay +hold of me. Stript to my shirt, I could, of course, offer no +resistance, and they speedily deprived me of all means of defence. + +"G---- M----, although a good deal embarrassed by the whole scene, soon +recognised me; and Manon still more easily. 'Is this a dream?' said +he, in the most serious tone--'do I not see before me the Chevalier des +Grieux and Manon Lescaut?' I was so overcome with shame and +disappointment, that I could make him no reply. He appeared for some +minutes revolving different thoughts in his mind; and as if they had +suddenly excited his anger, he exclaimed, addressing himself to me: +'Wretch! I am confident that you have murdered my son!' + +"I felt indignant at so insulting a charge. 'You hoary and lecherous +villain!' I exclaimed, 'if I had been inclined to kill any of your +worthless family, it is with you I should most assuredly have +commenced.' + +"'Hold him fast,' cried he to the archers; 'he must give me some +tidings of my son; I shall have him hanged tomorrow, if he does not +presently let me know how he has disposed of him.' + +"'You will have me hanged,' said I, 'will you? Infamous scoundrel! it +is for such as you that the gibbet is erected. Know that the blood +which flows in my veins is noble, and purer in every sense than yours. +Yes,' I added, 'I do know what has happened to your son; and if you +irritate me further, I will have him strangled before morning; and I +promise you the consolation of meeting in your own person the same +fate, after he is disposed of.' + +"I was imprudent in acknowledging that I knew where his son was, but +excess of anger made me commit this indiscretion. He immediately +called in five or six other archers, who were waiting at the gate, and +ordered them to take all the servants into custody. 'Ah! ah! +Chevalier,' said he, in a tone of sardonic raillery,--'so you do know +where my son is, and you will have him strangled, you say? We will try +to set that matter to rights.' + +"I now saw the folly I had committed. + +"He approached Manon, who was sitting upon the bed, bathed in a flood +of tears. He said something, with the most cruel irony, of the +despotic power she wielded over old and young, father and son--her +edifying dominion over her empire. This superannuated monster of +incontinence actually attempted to take liberties with her. + +"'Take care,' exclaimed I, 'how you lay a finger upon her!--neither +divine nor human law will be able, should your folly arouse it, to +shield you from my vengeance!' + +"He quitted the room, desiring the archers to make us dress as quickly +as possible. + +"I know not what were his intentions at that moment with regard to us; +we might perhaps have regained our liberty if we had told him where his +son was. As I dressed, I considered whether this would not be the +wisest course. But if, on quitting the room, such had been the +disposition of his mind, it was very different when he returned. He +had first gone to question Manon's servants, who were in the custody of +the guard. From those who had been expressly hired for her service by +his son, he could learn nothing; but when he found that Marcel had been +previously our servant, he determined to extract some information from +him, by means of intimidation, threats, or bribes. + +"This lad was faithful, but weak and unsophisticated. The remembrance +of what he had done at the penitentiary for Manon's release, joined to +the terror with which G---- M---- now inspired him, so subdued his +mind, that he thought they were about leading him to the gallows, or +the rack. He promised that, if they would spare his life, he would +disclose everything he knew. This speech made G---- M---- imagine that +there was something more serious in the affair than he had before +supposed; he not only gave Marcel a promise of his life, but a handsome +reward in hand for his intended confession. + +"The booby then told him the leading features of our plot, of which we +had made no secret before him, as he was himself to have borne a part +in it. True, he knew nothing of the alterations we had made at Paris +in our original design; but he had been informed, before quitting +Chaillot, of our projected adventure, and of the part he was to +perform. He therefore told him that the object was to make a dupe of +his son; and that Manon was to receive, if she had not already +received, ten thousand francs, which, according to our project, would +be effectually lost to G---- M----, his heirs and assigns for ever. + +"Having acquired this information, the old gentleman hastened back in a +rage to the apartment. Without uttering a word, he passed into the +boudoir, where he easily put his hand upon the money and the jewels. +He then accosted us, bursting with rage; and holding up what he was +pleased to call our plunder, he loaded us with the most indignant +reproaches. He placed close to Manon's eye the pearl necklace and +bracelets. 'Do you recognise them?' said he, in a tone of mockery; 'it +is not, perhaps, the first time you may have seen them. The identical +pearls, by my faith! They were selected by your own exquisite taste! +The poor innocents!' added he; 'they really are most amiable creatures, +both one and the other; but they are perhaps a little too much inclined +to roguery.' + +"I could hardly contain my indignation at this speech. I would have +given for one moment's liberty--Heavens! what would I not have given? +At length, I suppressed my feelings sufficiently to say in a tone of +moderation, which was but the refinement of rage: 'Put an end, sir, to +this insolent mockery! What is your object? What do you purpose doing +with us?' + +"'M. Chevalier,' he answered, 'my object is to see you quietly lodged +in the prison of Le Chatelet. Tomorrow will bring daylight with it, +and we shall then be able to take a clearer view of matters; and I hope +you will at last do me the favour to let me know where my son is.' + +"It did not require much consideration to feel convinced that our +incarceration in Le Chatelet would be a serious calamity. I foresaw +all the dangers that would ensue. In spite of my pride, I plainly saw +the necessity of bending before my fate, and conciliating my most +implacable enemy by submission. I begged of him, in the quietest +manner, to listen to me. 'I wish to do myself but common justice, +sir,' said I to him; 'I admit that my youth has led me into egregious +follies; and that you have had fair reason to complain: but if you have +ever felt the resistless power of love, if you can enter into the +sufferings of an unhappy young man, from whom all that he most loved +was ravished, you may think me perhaps not so culpable in seeking the +gratification of an innocent revenge; or at least, you may consider me +sufficiently punished, by the exposure and degradation I have just now +endured. Neither pains nor imprisonment will be requisite to make me +tell you where your son now is. He is in perfect safety. It was never +my intention to injure him, nor to give you just cause for offence. I +am ready to let you know the place where he is safely passing the +night, if, in return, you will set us at liberty.' + +"The old tiger, far from being softened by my prayer, turned his back +upon me and laughed. A few words escaped him, which showed that he +perfectly well knew our whole plan from the commencement. As for his +son, the brute said that he would easily find him, since I had not +assassinated him. 'Conduct them to the Petit-Chatelet,' said he to the +archers; 'and take especial care that the chevalier does not escape +you: he is a scamp that once before escaped from St. Lazare.' + +"He went out, and left me in a condition that you may picture to +yourself. 'O Heavens!' cried I to myself, 'I receive with humble +submission all your visitations; but that a wretched scoundrel should +thus have the power to tyrannise over me! this it is that plunges me +into the depths of despair!' The archers begged that we would not +detain them any longer. They had a coach at the door. 'Come, my dear +angel,' said I to Manon, as we went down, 'come, let us submit to our +destiny in all its rigour: it may one day please Heaven to render us +more happy.' + +"We went in the same coach. I supported her in my arms. I had not +heard her utter a single word since G---- M----'s first appearance: but +now, finding herself alone with me, she addressed me in the tenderest +manner, and accused herself of being the cause of all my troubles. I +assured her that I never could complain, while she continued to love +me. 'It is not I that have reason to complain,' I added; 'imprisonment +for a few months has no terrors for me, and I would infinitely prefer +Le Chatelet to St. Lazare; but it is for you, my dearest soul, that my +heart bleeds. What a lot for such an angel! How can you, gracious +Heaven! subject to such rigour the most perfect work of your own hands? +Why are we not both of us born with qualities conformable to our +wretched condition? We are endowed with spirit, with taste, with +feeling; while the vilest of God's creatures--brutes, alone worthy of +our unhappy fate, are revelling in all the favours of fortune.' + +"These feelings filled me with grief; but it was bliss compared with my +prospects for the future. My fear, on account of Manon, knew no +bounds. She had already been an inmate of the Magdalen; and even if +she had left it by fair means, I knew that a relapse of this nature +would be attended with disastrous consequences. I wished to let her +know my fears: I was apprehensive of exciting hers. I trembled for +her, without daring to put her on her guard against the danger; and I +embraced her tenderly, to satisfy her, at least, of my love, which was +almost the only sentiment to which I dared to give expression. +'Manon,' said I, 'tell me sincerely, will you ever cease to love me?' + +"She answered, that it made her unhappy to think that I could doubt it. + +"'Very well,' replied I, 'I do so no longer; and with this conviction, +I may well defy all my enemies. Through the influence of my family, I +can ensure my own liberation from the Chatelet; and my life will be of +little use, and of short duration, if I do not succeed in rescuing you.' + +"We arrived at the prison, where they put us into separate cells. This +blow was the less severe, because I was prepared for it. I recommended +Manon to the attention of the porter, telling him that I was a person +of some distinction, and promising him a considerable recompense. I +embraced my dearest mistress before we parted; I implored her not to +distress herself too much, and to fear nothing while I lived. I had +money with me: I gave her some; and I paid the porter, out of what +remained, the amount of a month's expenses for both of us in, advance. +This had an excellent effect, for I found myself placed in an apartment +comfortably furnished, and they assured me that Manon was in one +equally good. + +"I immediately set about devising the means of procuring my liberty. +There certainly had been nothing actually criminal in my conduct; and +supposing even that our felonious intention was established by the +evidence of Marcel, I knew that criminal intentions alone were not +punishable. I resolved to write immediately to my father, and beg of +him to come himself to Paris. I felt much less humiliation, as I have +already said, in being in Le Chatelet than in St. Lazare. Besides, +although I preserved all proper respect for the paternal authority, +age and experience had considerably lessened my timidity. I wrote, and +they made no difficulty in the prison about forwarding my letter; but +it was a trouble I should have spared myself, had I known that my +father was about to arrive on the following day in Paris. He had +received the letter I had written to him a week before; it gave him +extreme delight; but, notwithstanding the flattering hopes I had held +out of my conversion, he could not implicitly rely on my statements. +He determined therefore to satisfy himself of my reformation by the +evidence of his own senses, and to regulate his conduct towards me +according to his conviction of my sincerity. He arrived the day after +my imprisonment. + +"His first visit was to Tiberge, to whose care I begged that he would +address his answer. He could not learn from him either my present +abode or condition: Tiberge merely told him of my principal adventures +since I had escaped from St. Lazare. Tiberge spoke warmly of the +disposition to virtue which I had evinced at our last interview. He +added, that he considered me as having quite got rid of Manon; but that +he was nevertheless surprised at my not having given him any +intelligence about myself for a week. My father was not to be duped. +He fully comprehended that there was something in the silence of which +Tiberge complained, which had escaped my poor friend's penetration; and +he took such pains to find me out, that in two days after his arrival +he learned that I was in Le Chatelet. + +"Before I received this visit, which I little expected so soon, I had +the honour of one from the lieutenant-general of police, or, to call +things by their right names, I was subjected to an official +examination. He upbraided me certainly, but not in any harsh or +annoying manner. He told me, in the kindest tone, that he bitterly +lamented my bad conduct; that I had committed a gross indiscretion in +making an enemy of such a man as M. G---- M----; that in truth it was +easy to see that there was, in the affair, more of imprudence and folly +than of malice; but that still it was the second time I had been +brought as a culprit under his cognisance; and that he had hoped I +should have become more sedate, after the experience of two or three +months in St. Lazare. + +"Delighted at finding that I had a rational judge to deal with, I +explained the affair to him in a manner at once so respectful and so +moderate, that he seemed exceedingly satisfied with my answers to all +the queries he put. He desired me not to abandon myself to grief, and +assured me that he felt every disposition to serve me, as well on +account of my birth as my inexperience. I ventured to bespeak his +attentions in favour of Manon, and I dwelt upon her gentle and +excellent disposition. He replied, with a smile, that he had not yet +seen her, but that she had been represented to him as a most dangerous +person. This expression so excited my sympathy, that I urged a +thousand anxious arguments in favour of my poor mistress, and I could +not restrain even from shedding tears. + +"He desired them to conduct me back to my chamber. 'Love! love!' cried +this grave magistrate as I went out, 'thou art never to be reconciled +with discretion!' + +"I had been occupied with the most melancholy reflections, and was +thinking of the conversation I had had with the lieutenant-general of +police, when I heard my door open. It was my father. Although I ought +to have been half prepared for seeing him, and had reasons to expect +his arrival within a day or two, yet I was so thunderstruck, that I +could willingly have sunk into the earth, if it had been open at my +feet. I embraced him in the greatest possible state of confusion. He +took a seat, without either one or other of us having uttered a word. + +"As I remained standing, with my head uncovered, and my eyes cast on +the ground, 'Be seated, sir,' said he in a solemn voice; 'be seated. I +have to thank the notoriety of your debaucheries for learning the place +of your abode. It is the privilege of such fame as yours, that it +cannot lie concealed. You are acquiring celebrity by an unerring path. +Doubtless it will lead you to the Greve,[1] and you will then have the +unfading glory of being held up to the admiration of the world.' + +"I made no reply. He continued: 'What an unhappy lot is that of a +father, who having tenderly loved a child, and strained every nerve to +bring him up a virtuous and respectable man, finds him turn out in the +end a worthless profligate, who dishonours him. To an ordinary reverse +of fortune one may be reconciled; time softens the affliction, and even +the indulgence of sorrow itself is not unavailing; but what remedy is +there for an evil that is perpetually augmenting, such as the +profligacy of a vicious son, who has deserted every principle of +honour, and is ever plunging from deep into deeper vice? You are +silent,' added he: 'look at this counterfeit modesty, this hypocritical +air of gentleness!-- might he not pass for the most respectable member +of his family?' + +"Although I could not but feel that I deserved, in some degree, these +reproaches, yet he appeared to me to carry them beyond all reason. I +thought I might be permitted to explain my feelings. + +"'I assure you, sir,' said I to him, 'that the modesty which you +ridicule is by no means affected; it is the natural feeling of a son +who entertains sincere respect for his father, and above all, a father +irritated as you justly are by his faults. Neither have I, sir, the +slightest wish to pass for the most respectable member of my family. I +know that I have merited your reproaches, but I conjure you to temper +them with mercy, and not to look upon me as the most infamous of +mankind. I do not deserve such harsh names. It is love, you know it, +that has caused all my errors. Fatal passion! Have you yourself never +felt its force? Is it possible that you, with the same blood in your +veins that flows in mine, should have passed through life unscathed by +the same excitements? Love has rendered me perhaps foolishly +tender--too easily excited--too impassioned--too faithful, and +probably too indulgent to the desires and caprices, or, if you will, +the faults of an adored mistress. These are my crimes; are they such +as to reflect dishonour upon you? Come, my dear father,' said I +tenderly, 'show some pity for a son, who has never ceased to feel +respect and affection for you--who has not renounced, as you say, all +feelings of honour and of duty, and who is himself a thousand times +more an object of pity than you imagine.' I could not help shedding a +tear as I concluded this appeal. + +"A father's heart is a chef-d'oeuvre of creation. There nature rules +in undisturbed dominion, and regulates at will its most secret springs. +He was a man of high feeling and good taste, and was so sensibly +affected by the turn I had given to my defence, that he could no longer +hide from me the change I had wrought. + +"'Come to me, my poor chevalier,' said he; 'come and embrace me. I do +pity you!' + +"I embraced him: he pressed me to him in such a manner, that I guessed +what was passing in his heart. + +"'But how are we,' said he, 'to extricate you from this place? Explain +to me the real situation of your affairs.' + +"As there really was not anything in my conduct so grossly improper as +to reflect dishonour upon me; at least, in comparison with the conduct +of other young men of a certain station in the world; and as a mistress +is not considered a disgrace, any more than a little dexterity in +drawing some advantage from play, I gave my father a candid detail of +the life I had been leading. As I recounted each transgression, I took +care to cite some illustrious example in my justification, in order to +palliate my own faults. + +"'I lived,' said I, 'with a mistress without the solemnity of marriage. +The Duke of ---- keeps two before the eyes of all Paris. M---- D---- +has had one now for ten years, and loves her with a fidelity which he +has never shown to his wife. Two-thirds of the men of fashion in Paris +keep mistresses. + +"'I certainly have on one or two occasions cheated at play. Well, the +Marquis of ---- and the Count ---- have no other source of revenue. +The Prince of ---- and the Duke of ---- are at the head of a gang of +the same industrious order.' As for the designs I had upon the pockets +of the two G---- M----s, I might just as easily have proved that I had +abundant models for that also; but I had too much pride to plead guilty +to this charge, and rest on the justification of example; so that I +begged of my father to ascribe my weakness on this occasion to the +violence of the two passions which agitated me--Revenge and Love. + +"He asked me whether I could suggest any means of obtaining my liberty, +and in such a way as to avoid publicity as much as possible. I told +him of the kind feelings which the lieutenant-general of police had +expressed towards me. 'If you encounter any obstacles,' said I, 'they +will be offered only by the two G---- M----s; so that I think it would +be advisable to call upon them.' + +"He promised to do so. + +"I did not dare ask him to solicit Manon's liberation; this was not +from want of courage, but from the apprehension of exasperating him by +such a proposition, and perhaps driving him to form some design fatal +to the future happiness of us both. It remains to this hour a problem +whether this fear on my part was not the immediate cause of all my most +terrible misfortunes, by preventing me from ascertaining my father's +disposition, and endeavouring to inspire him with favourable feelings +towards my poor mistress: I might have perhaps once more succeeded in +exciting his commiseration; I might have put him on his guard against +the impression which he was sure of receiving from a visit to old G---- +M----. But how can I tell what the consequences would have been! My +unhappy fate would have most probably counteracted all my efforts; but +it would have been a consolation to have had nothing else but that, and +the cruelty of my enemies, to blame for my afflictions. + +"On quitting me, my father went to pay a visit to M. G---- M----. He +found him with his son, whom the guardsman had safely restored to +liberty. I never learned the particulars of their conversation; but I +could easily infer them from the disastrous results. They went +together (the two old gentlemen) to the lieutenant-general of police, +from whom they requested one favour each: the first was to have me at +once liberated from Le Chatelet; the second to condemn Manon to +perpetual imprisonment, or to transport her for life to America. They +happened, at that very period, to be sending out a number of convicts +to the Mississippi. The lieutenant-general promised to have her +embarked on board the first vessel that sailed. + +"M. G---- M---- and my father came together to bring me the news of my +liberation. M. G---- M---- said something civil with reference to what +had passed; and having congratulated me upon my happiness in having +such a father, he exhorted me to profit henceforward by his instruction +and example. My father desired me to express my sorrow for the +injustice I had even contemplated against his family, and my gratitude +for his having assisted in procuring my liberation. + +"We all left the prison together, without the mention of Manon's name. +I dared not in their presence speak of her to the turnkeys. Alas! all +my entreaties in her favour would have been useless. The cruel +sentence upon Manon had arrived at the same time as the warrant for my +discharge. The unfortunate girl was conducted in an hour after to the +Hospital, to be there classed with some other wretched women, who had +been condemned to the same punishment. + +"My father having forced me to accompany him to the house where he was +residing, it was near six o'clock before I had an opportunity of +escaping his vigilance. In returning to Le Chatelet, my only wish was +to convey some refreshments to Manon, and to recommend her to the +attention of the porter; for I had no hope of being permitted to see +her; nor had I, as yet, had time to reflect on the best means of +rescuing her. + +"I asked for the porter. I had won his heart, as much by my liberality +to him, as by the mildness of my manner; so that, having a disposition +to serve me, he spoke of Manon's sentence as a calamity which he +sincerely regretted, since it was calculated to mortify me. I was at +first unable to comprehend his meaning. We conversed for some minutes +without my understanding him. At length perceiving that an explanation +was necessary, he gave me such a one, as on a former occasion I wanted +courage to relate to you, and which, even now, makes my blood curdle in +my veins to remember." + + +[1] Who has e'er been at Paris must needs know the Greve, + The fatal retreat of th' unfortunate brave, + Where honour and justice most oddly contribute, + To ease heroes' pains by the halter and gibbet.--PRIOR. + + + +XI + + +Alack! it is not when we sleep soft and wake merrily that we think on +other people's sufferings; but when the hour of trouble comes, said +Jeanie Deans.--WALTER SCOTT. + + +"Never did apoplexy produce on mortal a more sudden or terrific effect +than did the announcement of Manon's sentence upon me. I fell +prostrate, with so intense a palpitation of the heart, that as I +swooned I thought that death itself was come upon me. This idea +continued even after I had been restored to my senses. I gazed around +me upon every part of the room, then upon my own paralysed limbs, +doubting, in my delirium, whether I still bore about me the attributes +of a living man. It is quite certain that, in obedience to the desire +I felt of terminating my sufferings, even by my own hand, nothing could +have been to me more welcome than death at that moment of anguish and +despair. Religion itself could depict nothing more insupportable after +death than the racking agony with which I was then convulsed. Yet, by a +miracle, only within the power of omnipotent love, I soon regained +strength enough to express my gratitude to Heaven for restoring me to +sense and reason. My death could have only been a relief and blessing +to myself; whereas Manon had occasion for my prolonged existence, in +order to deliver her--to succour her--to avenge her wrongs: I swore to +devote that existence unremittingly to these objects. + +"The porter gave me every assistance that I could have expected at the +hands of my oldest friend: I accepted his services with the liveliest +gratitude. 'Alas!' said I to him, 'you then are affected by my +sufferings! The whole world abandons me; my own father proves one of +the very cruellest of my persecutors; no person feels pity for me! You +alone, in this abode of suffering and shame--you alone exhibit +compassion for the most wretched of mankind!' He advised me not to +appear in the street until I had recovered a little from my affliction. +'Do not stop me,' said I, as I went out; 'we shall meet again sooner +than you imagine: get ready your darkest dungeon, for I shall shortly +become its tenant.' + +"In fact, my first idea was nothing less than to make away with the two +G---- M----s, and the lieutenant-general of police; and then to attack +the Hospital, sword in hand, assisted by all whom I could enlist in my +cause. Even my father's life was hardly respected, so just appeared my +feelings of vengeance; for the porter had informed me that he and G---- +M---- were jointly the authors of my ruin. + +"But when I had advanced some paces into the street, and the fresh air +had cooled my excitement, I gradually viewed matters in a more rational +mood. The death of our enemies could be of little use to Manon; and +the obvious effect of such violence would be to deprive me of all other +chance of serving her. Besides, could I ever bring myself to be a +cowardly assassin? By what other means could I accomplish my revenge? +I set all my ingenuity and all my efforts at work to procure the +deliverance of Manon, leaving everything else to be considered +hereafter when I had succeeded in this first and paramount object. + +"I had very little money left; money, however, was an indispensable +basis for all my operations. I only knew three persons from whom I had +any right to ask pecuniary assistance--M. de T----, Tiberge, and my +father. There appeared little chance of obtaining any from the two +latter, and I was really ashamed again to importune M. de T----. But +it is not in desperate emergencies that one stands upon points of +ceremony. I went first to the seminary of St. Sulpice, without +considering whether I should be recognised. I asked for Tiberge. His +first words showed me that he knew nothing of my latest adventure: this +made me change the design I had originally formed of appealing at once +to his compassion. I spoke generally of the pleasure it had given me +to see my father again; and I then begged of him to lend me some money, +under the pretext of being anxious before I left Paris to pay a few +little debts, which I wished to keep secret. He handed me his purse, +without a single remark. I took twenty or twenty-five pounds, which it +contained. I offered him my note of hand, but he was too generous to +accept it. + +"I then went to M. de T----: I had no reserve with him. I plainly told +him my misfortunes and distress: he already knew everything, and had +informed himself even of the most trifling circumstance, on account of +the interest he naturally took in young G---- M----'s adventure. He, +however, listened to me, and seemed sincerely to lament what had +occurred. When I consulted him as to the best means of rescuing Manon, +he answered that he saw such little ground for hope, that, without some +extraordinary interposition of Providence, it would be folly to expect +relief; that he had paid a visit expressly to the Hospital since Manon +had been transferred from the Chatelet, but that he could not even +obtain permission to see her, as the lieutenant-general of police had +given the strictest orders to the contrary; and that, to complete the +catastrophe, the unfortunate train of convicts, in which she was to be +included, was to take its departure from Paris the day but one after. + +"I was so confounded by what he said, that if he had gone on speaking +for another hour, I should not have interrupted him. He continued to +tell me, that the reason of his not calling to see me at the Chatelet +was, that he hoped to be of more use by appearing to be unknown to me; +that for the last few hours, since I had been set at liberty, he had in +vain looked for me, in order to suggest the only plan through which he +could see a hope of averting Manon's fate. He told me it was dangerous +counsel to give, and implored me never to mention the part he took in +it; it was to find some enterprising fellows gallant enough to attack +Manon's guard on getting outside the barriere. Nor did he wait for me +to urge a plea of poverty. 'Here is fifty pounds,' he said, presenting +me his purse; 'it may be of use to you; you can repay me when you are +in better circumstances.' He added, that if the fear of losing his +character did not prevent him from embarking in such an enterprise, he +would have willingly put his sword and his life at my service. + +"This unlooked-for generosity affected me to tears. I expressed my +gratitude with as much warmth as my depressed spirits left at my +command. I asked him if there were nothing to be expected from +interceding with the lieutenant-general of police: he said that he had +considered that point; but that he looked upon it as a hopeless +attempt, because a favour of that nature was never accorded without +some strong motive, and he did not see what inducement could be held +out for engaging the intercession of any person of power on her behalf; +that if any hope could possibly be entertained upon the point, it must +be by working a change in the feelings of old G---- M---- and my +father, and by prevailing on them to solicit from the +lieutenant-general of police the revocation of Manon's sentence. He +offered to do everything in his power to gain over the younger G---- +M----, although he fancied a coldness in that gentleman's manner +towards him, probably from some suspicions he might entertain of his +being concerned in the late affair; and he entreated me to lose no +opportunity of effecting the desired change in my father's mind. + +"This was no easy undertaking for me; not only on account of the +difficulty I should naturally meet in overcoming his opinion, but for +another reason which made me fear even to approach him; I had quitted +his lodgings contrary to his express orders, and was resolved, since I +had learned the sad fate of my poor Manon, never again to return +thither. I was not without apprehensions indeed of his now retaining +me against my will, and perhaps taking me at once back with him into +the country. My elder brother had formerly had recourse to this +violent measure. True, I was now somewhat older; but age is a feeble +argument against force. I hit upon a mode, however, of avoiding this +danger, which was to get him by contrivance to some public place, and +there announce myself to him under an assumed name: I immediately +resolved on this method. M. de T---- went to G---- M----'s, and I to +the Luxembourg, whence I sent my father word, that a gentleman waited +there to speak with him. I hardly thought he would come, as the night +was advancing. He, however, soon made his appearance, followed by a +servant: I begged of him to choose a walk where we could be alone. We +walked at least a hundred paces without speaking. He doubtless +imagined that so much precaution could not be taken without some +important object. He waited for my opening speech, and I was +meditating how to commence it. + +"At length I began. + +"'Sir,' said I, trembling, 'you are a good and affectionate parent; you +have loaded me with favours, and have forgiven me an infinite number of +faults; I also, in my turn, call Heaven to witness the sincere, and +tender, and respectful sentiments I entertain towards you. But it does +seem to me, that your inexorable severity----' + +"'Well, sir, my severity!' interrupted my father, who no doubt found my +hesitation little suited to his impatience. + +"'Ah, sir,' I replied, 'it does seem to me that your severity is +excessive in the penalty you inflict upon the unfortunate Manon. You +have taken only M. G---- M----'s report of her. His hatred has made +him represent her to you in the most odious colours: you have formed a +frightful idea of her. She is, on the contrary, the mildest and most +amiable of living creatures; would that Heaven had but inspired you at +any one moment with the desire of seeing her! I am convinced that you +would be not less sensible of her perfections than your unhappy son. +You would then have been her advocate; you would have abhorred the foul +artifices of G---- M----; you would have had pity on both her and me. +Alas! I am persuaded of it; your heart is not insensible; it must ere +now have melted with compassion.' + +"He interrupted me again, perceiving that I spoke with a warmth which +would not allow me to finish very briefly. He begged to know with what +request I intended to wind up so fervent an harangue. + +"'To ask my life at your hands,' said I, 'which I never can retain if +Manon once embark for America.' + +"'No! no!' replied he, in the severest tone; 'I would rather see you +lifeless, than infamous and depraved.' + +"'We have gone far enough, then,' said I, catching hold of his arm; +'take from me, in common mercy, my life! weary and odious and +insupportable as it henceforward must be; for in the state of despair +into which you now plunge me, death would be the greatest favour you +could bestow--a favour worthy of a father's hand.' + +"'I should only give you what you deserve,' replied he; 'I know fathers +who would not have shown as much patience as I have, but would +themselves have executed speedy justice; but it is my foolish and +excessive forbearance that has been your ruin.' + +"I threw myself at his feet: 'Ah!' exclaimed I, 'if you have still any +remains of mercy, do not harden your heart against my distress and +sorrow. Remember that I am your child! Alas! think of my poor mother! +you loved her tenderly! would you have suffered her to be torn from +your arms? You would have defended her to the death! May not the same +feeling then be pardoned in others? Can persons become barbarous and +cruel, after having themselves experienced the softening influence of +tenderness and grief?' + +"'Breathe not again the sacred name of your mother,' he exclaimed, in a +voice of thunder; 'the very allusion to her memory rouses my +indignation. Had she lived to witness the unredeemed profligacy of +your life, it would have brought her in pain and sorrow to her +grave.--Let us put an end to this discussion' he added; 'it distresses +me, and makes not the slightest change in my determination: I am going +back to my lodgings, and I desire you to follow me.' + +"The cool and resolute tone in which he uttered this command, convinced +me that he was inexorable. I stepped some paces aside, for fear he +should think fit to lay hands upon me. + +"'Do not increase my misery and despair,' said I to him, 'by forcing me +to disobey you. It is impossible for me to follow you; and equally so +that I should continue to live, after the unkind treatment I have +experienced from you. I, therefore, bid you an eternal adieu. When +you know that I am dead, as I shall soon be, the paternal affection +which you once entertained for me may be perhaps revived.' + +"As I was about to turn away from him: 'You refuse then to follow me,' +cried he, in a tone of excessive anger. 'Go! go on to your ruin. +Adieu! ungrateful and disobedient boy.' + +"'Adieu!' exclaimed I to him, in a burst of grief, 'adieu, cruel and +unnatural father!' + +"I left the Luxembourg, and rushed like a madman through the streets to +M. de T----'s house. I raised my hands and eyes as I went along, +invoking the Almighty Powers: 'O Heaven,' cried I, 'will you not prove +more merciful than man! The only hope that remains to me is from +above!' + +"M. de T---- had not yet returned home; but he arrived before many +minutes had elapsed. His negotiation had been as unsuccessful as my +own. He told me so with the most sorrowful countenance. Young G---- +M----, although less irritated than his father against Manon and me, +would not undertake to petition in our favour. He was, in great +measure, deterred by the fear which he himself had of the vindictive +old lecher, who had already vented his anger against him for his design +of forming a connection with Manon. + +"There only remained to me, therefore, the violent measures which M. +T---- had suggested. I now confined all my hopes to them. They were +questionless most uncertain; but they held out to me, at least, a +substantial consolation, in the certainty of meeting death in the +attempt, if unsuccessful. I left him, begging that he would offer up +his best wishes for my triumph; and I thought only of finding some +companions, to whom I might communicate a portion of my own courage and +determination. + +"The first that occurred to me was the same guardsman whom I had +employed to arrest G---- M----. I had intended indeed to pass the +night at his rooms, not having had a moment of leisure during the +afternoon to procure myself a lodging. I found him alone. He was glad +to see me out of the Chatelet. He made me an offer of his services. I +explained to him in what way he might now do me the greatest kindness. +He had good sense enough to perceive all the difficulties; but he was +also generous enough to undertake to surmount them. + +"We spent part of the night in considering how the plot was to be +executed. He spoke of the three soldiers whom he had made use of on +the last occasion, as men whose courage had been proved. M. de T---- +had told me the exact number of archers that would escort Manon; they +were but six. Five strong and determined men could not fail to strike +terror into these fellows, who would never think of defending +themselves bravely, when they were to be allowed the alternative of +avoiding danger by surrendering; and of that they would no doubt avail +themselves. As I was not without money, the guardsman advised me to +spare no pains or expense to ensure success. 'We must be mounted,' he +said, 'and each man must have his carbine and pistols; I will take care +to prepare everything requisite by tomorrow. We shall also want three +new suits of regimentals for the soldiers, who dare not appear in an +affray of this kind in the uniform of their regiment. I handed him the +hundred pistoles which I had got from M. de T----; it was all expended +the next morning, to the very last sou. I inspected the three +soldiers; I animated them with the most liberal promises; and to +confirm their confidence in me, I began by making each man a present of +ten pistoles. + +"The momentous day having arrived, I sent one of them at an early hour +to the Hospital, to ascertain the exact time when the police were to +start with their prisoners. Although I merely took this precaution +from my excessive anxiety, it turned out to have been a prudent step. +I had formed my plans upon false information, which I had received as +to their destination; and believing that it was at Rochelle this +unhappy group was to embark, all my trouble would have been thrown away +in waiting for them on the Orleans road. However, I learned, by the +soldier's report, that they would go out towards Rouen, and that it was +from Havre-de-Grace they were to sail for America. + +"We at once went to the gate of St. Honore, taking care to go by +different streets. We assembled at the end of the faubourg. Our +horses were fresh. In a little time we observed before us the six +archers and the two wretched caravans, which you saw at Passy two years +ago. The sight alone almost deprived me of my strength and senses. +'Oh fate!' said I to myself, 'cruel fate! grant me now either death or +victory.' + +"We hastily consulted as to the mode of making the attack. The +cavalcade was only four hundred paces in advance, and we might +intercept them by cutting across a small field, round which the high +road led. The guardsman was for this course, in order to fall suddenly +upon them while unprepared. I approved of the plan, and was the first +to spur my horse forward--but fate once again relentlessly blasted all +my hopes. + +"The escort, seeing five horsemen riding towards them, inferred that it +was for the purpose of attacking them. They put themselves in a +position of defence, preparing their bayonets and guns with an air of +resolution. + +"This demonstration, which in the guardsman and myself only inspired +fresh courage, had a very different effect upon our three cowardly +companions. They stopped simultaneously, and having muttered to each +other some words which I could not hear, they turned their horses' +heads, threw the bridles on their necks, and galloped back towards +Paris. + +"'Good heavens!' said the guardsman, who appeared as much annoyed as I +was by this infamous desertion, 'what is to be done? we are but two +now.' + +"From rage and consternation I had lost all power of speech. I doubted +whether my first revenge should not be in pursuing the cowards who had +abandoned me. I saw them flying, and looked in the other direction at +the escort: if it had been possible to divide myself, I should at once +have fallen upon both these objects of my fury; I should have destroyed +all at the same moment. + +"The guardsman, who saw my irresolution by my wandering gaze, begged of +me to hear his advice. 'Being but two,' he said, 'it would be madness +to attack six men as well armed as ourselves, and who seem determined +to receive us firmly. Let us return to Paris, and endeavour to succeed +better in the choice of our comrades. The police cannot make very +rapid progress with two heavy vans; we may overtake them tomorrow +without difficulty.' + +"I reflected a moment on this suggestion; but seeing nothing around me +but despair, I took a final and indeed desperate resolution: this was +to thank my companion for his services, and, far from attacking the +police, to go up with submission and implore them to receive me among +them, that I might accompany Manon to Havre-de-Grace, and afterwards, +if possible, cross the Atlantic with her. 'The whole world is either +persecuting or betraying me,' said I to the guardsman; 'I have no +longer the power of interesting anyone in my favour; I expect nothing +more either from fortune or the friendship of man; my misery is at its +height; it only remains for me to submit, so that I close my eyes +henceforward against every gleam of hope. May Heaven,' I continued, +'reward you for your generosity! Adieu! I shall go and aid my +wretched destiny in filling up the full measure of my ruin!' He, in +vain, endeavoured to persuade me to return with him to Paris. I +entreated him to leave me at once, lest the police should still suspect +us of an intention to attack them." + + + +XII + + +The pauses and intermissions of pain become positive pleasures; and +have thus a power of shedding a satisfaction over the intervals of +ease, which few enjoyments exceed.--PALEY. + + +"Riding towards the cortege at a slow pace, and with a sorrowful +countenance, the guards could hardly see anything very terrific in my +approach. They seemed, however, to expect an attack. 'Be persuaded, +gentlemen,' said I to them, 'that I come not to wage war, but rather to +ask favours.' I then begged of them to continue their progress without +any distrust, and as we went along I made my solicitations. They +consulted together to ascertain in what way they should entertain my +request. The chief of them spoke for the rest. He said that the +orders they had received to watch the prisoners vigilantly were of the +strictest kind; that, however, I seemed so interesting a young man, +that they might be induced to relax a little in their duty; but that I +must know, of course, that this would cost me something. I had about +sixteen pistoles left, and candidly told them what my purse contained. +'Well,' said the gendarme, 'we will act generously. It shall only cost +you a crown an hour for conversing with any of our girls that you may +prefer-- that is the ordinary price in Paris.' + +"I said not a word of Manon, because I did not wish to let them know of +my passion. They at first supposed it was merely a boyish whim, that +made me think of amusing myself with these creatures: but when they +discovered that I was in love, they increased their demands in such a +way, that my purse was completely empty on leaving Mantes, where we had +slept the night before our arrival at Passy. + +"Shall I describe to you my heart-rending interviews with Manon during +this journey, and what my sensations were when I obtained from the +guards permission to approach her caravan? Oh! language never can +adequately express the sentiments of the heart; but picture to yourself +my poor mistress, with a chain round her waist, seated upon a handful +of straw, her head resting languidly against the panel of the carriage, +her face pale and bathed with tears, which forced a passage between her +eyelids, although she kept them continually closed. She had not even +the curiosity to open her eyes on hearing the bustle of the guards when +they expected our attack. Her clothes were soiled, and in disorder; +her delicate hands exposed to the rough air; in fine, her whole angelic +form, that face, lovely enough to carry back the world to idolatry, +presented a spectacle of distress and anguish utterly indescribable. + +"I spent some moments gazing at her as I rode alongside the carriage. +I had so lost my self-possession, that I was several times on the point +of falling from my horse. My sighs and frequent exclamations at length +attracted her attention. She looked at and recognised me, and I +remarked that on the first impulse, she unconsciously tried to leap +from the carriage towards me, but being checked by her chain, she fell +into her former attitude. + +"I begged of the guards to stop one moment for the sake of mercy; they +consented for the sake of avarice. I dismounted to go and sit near +her. She was so languid and feeble, that she was for some time without +the power of speech, and could not raise her hands: I bathed them with +my tears; and being myself unable to utter a word, we formed together +as deplorable a picture of distress as could well be seen. When at +length we were able to speak, our conversation was not less sorrowful. +Manon said little: shame and grief appeared to have altered the +character of her voice; its tone was feeble and tremulous. + +"She thanked me for not having forgotten her, and for the comfort I +gave her in allowing her to see me once more, and she then bade me a +long and last farewell. But when I assured her that no power on earth +could ever separate me from her, and that I was resolved to follow her +to the extremity of the world--to watch over her--to guard her--to love +her--and inseparably to unite my wretched destiny with hers, the poor +girl gave way to such feelings of tenderness and grief, that I almost +dreaded danger to her life from the violence of her emotion: the +agitation of her whole soul seemed intensely concentrated in her eyes; +she fixed them steadfastly upon me. She more than once opened her lips +without the power of giving utterance to her thoughts. I could, +however, catch some expressions that dropped from her, of admiration +and wonder at my excessive love--of doubt that she could have been +fortunate enough to inspire me with a passion so perfect--of earnest +entreaty that I would abandon my intention of following her, and seek +elsewhere a lot more worthy of me, and which, she said, I could never +hope to find with her. + +"In spite of the cruellest inflictions of Fate, I derived comfort from +her looks, and from the conviction that I now possessed her undivided +affection. I had in truth lost all that other men value; but I was the +master of Manon's heart, the only possession that I prized. Whether in +Europe or in America, of what moment to me was the place of my abode, +provided I might live happy in the society of my mistress? Is not the +universe the residence of two fond and faithful lovers? Does not each +find in the other, father, mother, friends, relations, riches, felicity? + +"If anything caused me uneasiness, it was the fear of seeing Manon +exposed to want. I fancied myself already with her in a barbarous +country, inhabited by savages. 'I am quite certain,' said I, 'there +will be none there more cruel than G---- M---- and my father. They +will, at least, allow us to live in peace. If the accounts we read of +savages be true, they obey the laws of nature: they neither know the +mean rapacity of avarice, nor the false and fantastic notions of +dignity, which have raised me up an enemy in my own father. They will +not harass and persecute two lovers, when they see us adopt their own +simple habits.' I was therefore at ease upon that point. + +"But my romantic ideas were not formed with a proper view to the +ordinary wants of life. I had too often found that there were +necessaries which could not be dispensed with, particularly by a young +and delicate woman, accustomed to comfort and abundance. I was in +despair at having so fruitlessly emptied my purse, and the little money +that now remained was about being forced from me by the rascally +imposition of the gendarmes. I imagined that a very trifling sum would +suffice for our support for some time in America, where money was +scarce, and might also enable me to form some undertaking there for our +permanent establishment. + +"This idea made me resolve on writing to Tiberge, whom I had ever found +ready to hold out the generous hand of friendship. I wrote from the +first town we passed through. I only alluded to the destitute +condition in which I foresaw that I should find myself on arriving at +Havre-de-Grace, to which place I acknowledged that I was accompanying +Manon. I asked him for only fifty pistoles. 'You can remit it to me,' +said I to him, 'through the hands of the postmaster. You must perceive +that it is the last time I can by possibility trespass on your friendly +kindness; and my poor unhappy mistress being about to be exiled from +her country for ever, I cannot let her depart without supplying her +with some few comforts, to soften the sufferings of her lot, as well as +to assuage my own sorrows.' + +"The gendarmes became so rapacious when they saw the violence of my +passion, continually increasing their demands for the slightest +favours, that they soon left me penniless. Love did not permit me to +put any bounds to my liberality. At Manon's side I was not master of +myself; and it was no longer by the hour that time was measured; rather +by the duration of whole days. At length, my funds being completely +exhausted, I found myself exposed to the brutal caprice of these six +wretches who treated me with intolerable rudeness--you yourself +witnessed it at Passy. My meeting with you was a momentary relaxation +accorded me by fate. Your compassion at the sight of my sufferings was +my only recommendation to your generous nature. The assistance which +you so liberally extended, enabled me to reach Havre, and the guards +kept their promise more faithfully than I had ventured to hope. + +"We arrived at Havre. I went to the post-office: Tiberge had not yet +had time to answer my letter. I ascertained the earliest day I might +reckon upon his answer: it could not possibly arrive for two days +longer; and by an extraordinary fatality, our vessel was to sail on the +very morning of the day when the letter might be expected. I cannot +give you an idea of my despair. 'Alas!' cried I, 'even amongst the +unfortunate, I am to be ever the most wretched!' + +"Manon replied: 'Alas! does a life so thoroughly miserable deserve the +care we bestow on ours? Let us die at Havre, dearest chevalier! Let +death at once put an end to our afflictions! Shall we persevere, and go +to drag on this hopeless existence in an unknown land, where we shall, +no doubt, have to encounter the most horrible pains, since it has been +their object to punish me by exile? Let us die,' she repeated, 'or do +at least in mercy rid me of life, and then you can seek another lot in +the arms of some happier lover.' + +"'No, no, Manon,' said I; 'it is but too enviable a lot, in my +estimation, to be allowed to share your misfortunes.' + +"Her observations made me tremble. I saw that she was overpowered by +her afflictions. I tried to assume a more tranquil air, in order to +dissipate such melancholy thoughts of death and despair. + +"I resolved to adopt the same course in future; and I learned by the +results, that nothing is more calculated to inspire a woman with +courage than the demonstration of intrepidity in the man she loves. + +"When I lost all hope of receiving the expected assistance from +Tiberge, I sold my horse; the money it brought, joined to what remained +of your generous gift, amounted to the small sum of forty pistoles; I +expended eight in the purchase of some necessary articles for Manon; +and I put the remainder by, as the capital upon which we were to rest +our hopes and raise our fortunes in America. I had no difficulty in +getting admitted on board the vessel. They were at the time looking +for young men as voluntary emigrants to the colony. The passage and +provisions were supplied gratis. I left a letter for Tiberge, which +was to go by the post next morning to Paris. It was no doubt written +in a tone calculated to affect him deeply, since it induced him to form +a resolution, which could only be carried into execution by the +tenderest and most generous sympathy for his unhappy friend. + + + +XIII + + + Sunt hie etiam sua proemia laudi, + Sunt lachrymae rerum, et mentem mortalia tangunt. + VIRGIL. + + E'en the mute walls relate the victim's fame. + And sinner's tears the good man's pity claim. + DRYDEN. + + +"We set sail; the wind continued favourable during the entire passage. +I obtained from the captain's kindness a separate cabin for the use of +Manon and myself. He was so good as to distinguish us from the herd of +our miserable associates. I took an opportunity, on the second day, of +conciliating his attentions, by telling him part of our unfortunate +history. I did not feel that I was guilty of any very culpable +falsehood in saying that I was the husband of Manon. He appeared to +believe it, and promised me his protection; and indeed we experienced, +during the whole passage, the most flattering evidences of his +sincerity. He took care that our table was comfortably provided; and +his attentions procured us the marked respect of our companions in +misery. The unwearied object of my solicitude was to save Manon from +every inconvenience. She felt this, and her gratitude, together with a +lively sense of the singular position in which I had placed myself +solely for her sake, rendered the dear creature so tender and +impassioned, so attentive also to my most trifling wants, that it was +between us a continual emulation of attentions and of love. I felt no +regret at quitting Europe; on the contrary, the nearer we approached +America, the more did I feel my heart expand and become tranquil. If I +had not felt a dread of our perhaps wanting, by and by, the absolute +necessaries of life, I should have been grateful to fate for having at +length given so favourable a turn to our affairs. + +"'After a passage of two months, we at length reached the banks of the +desired river. The country offered at first sight nothing agreeable. +We saw only sterile and uninhabited plains, covered with rushes, and +some trees rooted up by the wind. No trace either of men or animals. +However, the captain having discharged some pieces of artillery, we +presently observed a group of the inhabitants of New Orleans, who +approached us with evident signs of joy. We had not perceived the +town: it is concealed upon the side on which we approached it by a +hill. We were received as persons dropped from the clouds. + +"The poor inhabitants hastened to put a thousand questions to us upon +the state of France, and of the different provinces in which they were +born. They embraced us as brothers, and as beloved companions, who had +come to share their pains and their solitude. + +"We turned towards the town with them; but we were astonished to +perceive, as we advanced, that what we had hitherto heard spoken of as +a respectable town, was nothing more than a collection of miserable +huts. They were inhabited by five or six hundred persons. The +governor's house was a little distinguished from the rest by its height +and its position. It was surrounded by some earthen ramparts, and a +deep ditch. + +"We were first presented to him. He continued for some time in +conversation with the captain; and then advancing towards us, he looked +attentively at the women one after another: there were thirty of them, +for another troop of convicts had joined us at Havre. After having +thus inspected them, he sent for several young men of the colony who +were desirous to marry. He assigned the handsomest women to the +principal of these, and the remainder were disposed of by lot. He had +not yet addressed Manon; but having ordered the others to depart, he +made us remain. 'I learn from the captain,' said he, 'that you are +married, and he is convinced by your conduct on the passage that you +are both persons of merit and of education. I have nothing to do with +the cause of your misfortunes; but if it be true that you are as +conversant with the world and society as your appearance would +indicate, I shall spare no pains to soften the severity of your lot, +and you may on your part contribute towards rendering this savage and +desert abode less disagreeable to me.' I replied in the manner which I +thought best calculated to confirm the opinion he had formed of us. He +gave orders to have a habitation prepared for us in the town, and +detained us to supper. I was really surprised to find so much +politeness in a governor of transported convicts. In the presence of +others he abstained from enquiring about our past adventures. The +conversation was general; and in spite of our degradation, Manon and I +exerted ourselves to make it lively and agreeable. + +"At night we were conducted to the lodging prepared for us. We found a +wretched hovel composed of planks and mud, containing three rooms on +the ground, and a loft overhead. He had sent there six chairs, and +some few necessaries of life. + +"Manon appeared frightened by the first view of this melancholy +dwelling. It was on my account much more than upon her own, that she +distressed herself. When we were left to ourselves, she sat down and +wept bitterly. I attempted at first to console her; but when she +enabled me to understand that it was for my sake she deplored our +privations, and that in our common afflictions she only considered me +as the sufferer, I put on an air of resolution, and even of content, +sufficient to encourage her. + +"'What is there in my lot to lament?' said I; 'I possess all that I +have ever desired. You love me, Manon, do you not? What happiness +beyond this have I ever longed for? Let us leave to Providence the +direction of our destiny; it by no means appears to me so desperate. +The governor is civil and obliging; he has already given us marks of +his consideration; he will not allow us to want for necessaries. As to +our rude hut and the squalidness of our furniture, you might have +noticed that there are few persons in the colony better lodged or more +comfortably furnished than we are: and then you are an admirable +chemist,' added I, embracing her; 'you transform everything into gold.' + +"'In that case,' she answered, 'you shall be the richest man in the +universe; for, as there never was love surpassing yours, so it is +impossible for man to be loved more tenderly than you are by me. I +well know,' she continued, 'that I have never merited the almost +incredible fidelity and attachment which you have shown for me. I have +often caused you annoyances, which nothing but excessive fondness could +have induced you to pardon. I have been thoughtless and volatile; and +even while loving you as I have always done to distraction, I was never +free from a consciousness of ingratitude. But you cannot believe how +much my nature is altered; those tears which you have so frequently +seen me shed since quitting the French shore, have not been caused by +my own misfortunes. Since you began to share them with me, I have been +a stranger to selfishness: I only wept from tenderness and compassion +for you. I am inconsolable at the thought of having given you one +instant's pain during my past life. I never cease upbraiding myself +with my former inconstancy, and wondering at the sacrifices which love +has induced you to make for a miserable and unworthy wretch, who could +not, with the last drop of her blood, compensate for half the torments +she has caused you.' + +"Her grief, the language, and the tone in which she expressed herself, +made such an impression, that I felt my heart ready to break in me. +'Take care,' said I to her, 'take care, dear Manon; I have not strength +to endure such exciting marks of your affection; I am little accustomed +to the rapturous sensations which you now kindle in my heart. Oh +Heaven!' cried I, 'I have now nothing further to ask of you. I am sure +of Manon's love. That has been alone wanting to complete my happiness; +I can now never cease to be happy: my felicity is well secured.' + +"'It is indeed,' she replied, 'if it depends upon me, and I well know +where I can be ever certain of finding my own happiness centred.' + +"With these ideas, capable of turning my hut into a palace worthy of +earth's proudest monarch, I lay down to rest. America appeared to my +view the true land of milk and honey, the abode of contentment and +delight. 'People should come to New Orleans,' I often said to Manon, +'who wish to enjoy the real rapture of love! It is here that love is +divested of all selfishness, all jealousy, all inconstancy. Our +countrymen come here in search of gold; they little think that we have +discovered treasures of inestimably greater value.' + +"We carefully cultivated the governor's friendship. He bestowed upon +me, a few weeks after our arrival, a small appointment which became +vacant in the fort. Although not one of any distinction, I gratefully +accepted it as a gift of Providence, as it enabled me to live +independently of others' aid. I took a servant for myself, and a woman +for Manon. Our little establishment became settled: nothing could +surpass the regularity of my conduct, or that of Manon; we lost no +opportunity of serving or doing an act of kindness to our neighbours. +This friendly disposition, and the mildness of our manners, secured us +the confidence and affection of the whole colony. We soon became so +respected, that we ranked as the principal persons in the town after +the governor. + +"The simplicity of our habits and occupations, and the perfect +innocence in which we lived, revived insensibly our early feelings of +devotion. Manon had never been an irreligious girl, and I was far from +being one of those reckless libertines who delight in adding impiety +and sacrilege to moral depravity: all the disorders of our lives might +be fairly ascribed to the natural influences of youth and love. +Experience had now begun with us to do the office of age; it produced +the same effect upon us as years must have done. Our conversation, +which was generally of a serious turn, by degrees engendered a longing +for virtuous love. I first proposed this change to Manon. I knew the +principles of her heart; she was frank and natural in all her +sentiments, qualities which invariably predispose to virtue. I said to +her that there was but one thing wanting to complete our happiness: 'it +is,' said I, 'to invoke upon our union the benediction of Heaven. We +have both of us hearts too sensitive and minds too refined, to continue +voluntarily in the wilful violation of so sacred a duty. It signifies +nothing our having lived while in France in such a manner, because +there it was as impossible for us not to love, as to be united by a +legitimate tie: but in America, where we are under no restraint, where +we owe no allegiance to the arbitrary distinctions of birth and +aristocratic prejudice, where besides we are already supposed to be +married, why should we not actually become so--why should we not +sanctify our love by the holy ordinances of religion? As for me,' I +added, 'I offer nothing new in offering you my hand and my heart; but I +am ready to ratify it at the foot of the altar.' + +"This speech seemed to inspire her with joy. 'Would you believe it,' +she replied, 'I have thought of this a thousand times since our arrival +in America? The fear of annoying you has kept it shut up in my breast. +I felt that I had no pretensions to aspire to the character of your +wife.' + +"'Ah! Manon,' said I, 'you should very soon be a sovereign's consort, +if I had been born to the inheritance of a crown. Let us not hesitate; +we have no obstacle to impede us: I will this day speak to the governor +on the subject, and acknowledge that we have in this particular +hitherto deceived him. Let us leave,' added I, 'to vulgar lovers the +dread of the indissoluble bonds of marriage;[1] they would not fear +them if they were assured, as we are, of the continuance of those of +love.' I left Manon enchanted by this resolution. + +"I am persuaded that no honest man could disapprove of this intention +in my present situation; that is to say, fatally enslaved as I was by a +passion which I could not subdue, and visited by compunction and +remorse which I ought not to stifle. But will any man charge me with +injustice or impiety if I complain of the rigour of Heaven in defeating +a design that I could only have formed with the view of conciliating +its favour and complying with its decrees? Alas do I say defeated? +nay punished as a new crime. I was patiently permitted to go blindly +along the high road of vice; and the cruellest chastisements were +reserved for the period when I was returning to the paths of virtue. I +now fear that I shall have hardly fortitude enough left to recount the +most disastrous circumstances that ever occurred to any man. + +"I waited upon the governor, as I had settled with Manon, to procure +his consent to the ceremony of our marriage. I should have avoided +speaking to him or to any other person upon the subject, if I had +imagined that his chaplain, who was the only minister in the town, +would have performed the office for me without his knowledge; but not +daring to hope that he would do so privately, I determined to act +ingenuously in the matter. + +"The governor had a nephew named Synnelet, of whom he was particularly +fond. He was about thirty; brave, but of a headstrong and violent +disposition. He was not married. Manon's beauty had struck him on the +first day of our arrival; and the numberless opportunities he had of +seeing her during the last nine or ten months, had so inflamed his +passion, that he was absolutely pining for her in secret. However, as +he was convinced in common with his uncle and the whole colony that I +was married, he put such a restraint upon his feelings, that they +remained generally unnoticed; and he lost no opportunity of showing the +most disinterested friendship for me. + +"He happened to be with his uncle when I arrived at the government +house. I had no reason for keeping my intention a secret from him, so +that I explained myself without hesitation in his presence. The +governor heard me with his usual kindness. I related to him a part of +my history, to which he listened with evident interest; and when I +requested his presence at the intended ceremony, he was so generous as +to say, that he must be permitted to defray the expenses of the +succeeding entertainment. I retired perfectly satisfied. + +"In an hour after, the chaplain paid me a visit. I thought he was come +to prepare me by religious instruction for the sacred ceremony; but, +after a cold salutation, he announced to me in two words, that the +governor desired I would relinquish all thoughts of such a thing, for +that he had other views for Manon. + +"'Other views for Manon!' said I, as I felt my heart sink within me; +'what views then can they be, chaplain?' + +"He replied, that I must be, of course, aware that the governor was +absolute master here; that Manon, having been transported from France +to the colony, was entirely at his disposal; that, hitherto he had not +exercised his right, believing that she was a married woman; but that +now, having learned from my own lips that it was not so, he had +resolved to assign her to M. Synnelet, who was passionately in love +with her. + +"My indignation overcame my prudence. Irritated as I was, I desired +the chaplain instantly to quit my house, swearing at the same time that +neither governor, Synnelet, nor the whole colony together, should lay +hands upon my wife, or mistress, if they chose so to call her. + +"I immediately told Manon of the distressing message I had just +received. We conjectured that Synnelet had warped his uncle's mind +after my departure, and that it was all the effect of a premeditated +design. They were, questionless, the stronger party. We found +ourselves in New Orleans, as in the midst of the ocean, separated from +the rest of the world by an immense interval of space. In a country +perfectly unknown, a desert, or inhabited, if not by brutes, at least +by savages quite as ferocious, to what corner could we fly? I was +respected in the town, but I could not hope to excite the people in my +favour to such a degree as to derive assistance from them proportioned +to the impending danger: money was requisite for that purpose, and I +was poor. Besides, the success of a popular commotion was uncertain; +and if we failed in the attempt, our doom would be inevitably sealed. + +"I revolved these thoughts in my mind; I mentioned them in part to +Manon; I found new ones, without waiting for her replies; I determined +upon one course, and then abandoned that to adopt another; I talked to +myself, and answered my own thoughts aloud; at length I sank into a +kind of hysterical stupor that I can compare to nothing, because +nothing ever equalled it. Manon observed my emotion, and from its +violence, judged how imminent was our danger; and, apprehensive more on +my account than on her own, the dear girl could not even venture to +give expression to her fears. + +"After a multitude of reflections, I resolved to call upon the +governor, and appeal to his feelings of honour, to the recollection of +my unvarying respect for him, and the marks he had given of his own +affection for us both. Manon endeavoured to dissuade me from this +attempt: she said, with tears in her eyes, 'You are rushing into the +jaws of death; they will murder you--I shall never again see you--I am +determined to die before you.' I had great difficulty in persuading +her that it was absolutely necessary that I should go, and that she +should remain at home. I promised that she should see me again in a few +moments. She did not foresee, nor did I, that it was against herself +the whole anger of Heaven, and the rabid fury of our enemies, was about +to be concentrated. + +"I went to the fort: the governor was there with his chaplain. I +supplicated him in a tone of humble submission that I could have ill +brooked under other circumstances. I invoked his clemency by every +argument calculated to soften any heart less ferocious and cruel than a +tiger's. + +"The barbarian made to all my prayers but two short answers, which he +repeated over and over again. 'Manon,' he said, 'was at his disposal: +and he had given a promise to his nephew.' I was resolved to command +my feelings to the last: I merely replied, that I had imagined he was +too sincerely my friend to desire my death, to which I would infinitely +rather consent than to the loss of my mistress. + +"I felt persuaded, on quitting him, that it was folly to expect +anything from the obstinate tyrant, who would have damned himself a +hundred times over to please his nephew. However, I persevered in +restraining my temper to the end; deeply resolved, if they persisted in +such flagrant injustice, to make America the scene of one of the most +horrible and bloody murders that even love had ever led to. + +"I was, on my return home, meditating upon this design, when fate, as +if impatient to expedite my ruin, threw Synnelet in my way. He read in +my countenance a portion of my thoughts. I before said, he was brave. +He approached me. + +"'Are you not seeking me?' he enquired. 'I know that my intentions +have given you mortal offence, and that the death of one of us is +indispensable: let us see who is to be the happy man.' + +"I replied, that such was unquestionably the fact, and that nothing but +death could end the difference between us. + +"We retired about one hundred paces out of the town. We drew: I +wounded and disarmed him at the first onset. He was so enraged, that +he peremptorily refused either to ask his life or renounce his claims +to Manon. I might have been perhaps justified in ending both by a +single blow; but noble blood ever vindicates its origin. I threw him +back his sword. 'Let us renew the struggle,' said I to him, 'and +remember that there shall be now no quarter.' He attacked me with +redoubled fury. I must confess that I was not an accomplished +swordsman, having had but three months' tuition in Paris. Love, +however, guided my weapon. Synnelet pierced me through and through the +left arm; but I caught him whilst thus engaged, and made so vigorous a +thrust that I stretched him senseless at my feet. + +"In spite of the triumphant feeling that victory, after a mortal +conflict, inspires, I was immediately horrified by the certain +consequences of his death. There could not be the slightest hope of +either pardon or respite from the vengeance I had thus incurred. +Aware, as I was, of the affection of the governor for his nephew, I +felt perfectly sure that my death would not be delayed a single hour +after his should become known. 'Urgent as this apprehension was, it +still was by no means the principal source of my uneasiness. Manon, +the welfare of Manon, the peril that impended over her, and the +certainty of my being now at length separated from her, afflicted me to +such a degree, that I was incapable of recognising the place in which I +stood. I regretted Synnelet's death: instant suicide seemed the only +remedy for my woes. + +"However, it was this very thought that quickly restored me to my +reason, and enabled me to form a resolution. 'What,' said I to myself, +'die, in order to end my pain! Then there is something I dread more +than the loss of all I love! No, let me suffer the cruellest +extremities in order to aid her; and when these prove of no avail, fly +to death as a last resource!' + +"I returned towards the town; on my arrival at home, I found Manon half +dead with fright and anxiety: my presence restored her. I could not +conceal from her the terrible accident that had happened. On my +mentioning the death of Synnelet and my own wound, she fell in a state +of insensibility into my arms. It was a quarter of an hour before I +could bring her again to her senses. + +"I was myself in a most deplorable state of mind; I could not discern +the slightest prospect of safety for either of us. 'Manon,' said I to +her, when she had recovered a little, 'what shall we do? Alas, what +hope remains to us? I must necessarily fly. Will you remain in the +town? Yes dearest Manon, do remain; you may possibly still be happy +here; while I, far away from you, may seek death and find it amongst +the savages, or the wild beasts.' + +"She raised herself in spite of her weakness, and taking hold of my +hand to lead me towards the door: 'Let us,' said she, 'fly together, +we have not a moment to lose; Synnelet's body may be found by chance, +and we shall then have no time to escape.' 'But, dear Manon,' replied +I, 'to what place can we fly? Do you perceive any resource? Would it +not be better that you should endeavour to live on without me; and that +I should go and voluntarily place my life in the governor's hands?' + +"This proposal had only the effect of making her more impatient for our +departure. I had presence of mind enough, on going out, to take with +me some strong liquors which I had in my chamber, and as much food as I +could carry in my pockets. We told our servants, who were in the +adjoining room, that we were going to take our evening walk, as was our +invariable habit; and we left the town behind us more rapidly than I +had thought possible from Manon's delicate state of health. + +"Although I had not formed any resolve as to our future destination, I +still cherished a hope, without which I should have infinitely +preferred death to my suspense about Manon's safety. I had acquired a +sufficient knowledge of the country, during nearly ten months which I +had now passed in America, to know in what manner the natives should be +approached. Death was not the necessary consequence of falling into +their hands. I had learned a few words of their language, and some of +their customs, having had many opportunities of seeing them. + +"Besides this sad resource, I derived some hopes from the fact, that +the English had, like ourselves, established colonies in this part of +the New World. But the distance was terrific. In order to reach them, +we should have to traverse deserts of many days' journey, and more than +one range of mountains so steep and vast as to seem almost impassable +to the strongest man. I nevertheless flattered myself that we might +derive partial relief from one or other of these sources: the savages +might serve us as guides, and the English receive us in their +settlements. + +"We journeyed on as long as Manon's strength would permit, that is to +say, about six miles; for this incomparable creature, with her usual +absence of selfishness, refused my repeated entreaties to stop. +Overpowered at length by fatigue, she acknowledged the utter +impossibility of proceeding farther. It was already night: we sat down +in the midst of an extensive plain, where we could not even find a tree +to shelter us. Her first care was to dress my wound, which she had +bandaged before our departure. I, in vain, entreated her to desist from +exertion: it would have only added to her distress if I had refused her +the satisfaction of seeing me at ease and out of danger, before her own +wants were attended to. I allowed her therefore to gratify herself, +and in shame and silence submitted to her delicate attentions. + +"But when she had completed her tender task, with what ardour did I not +enter upon mine! I took off my clothes and stretched them under her, +to render more endurable the hard and rugged ground on which she lay. +I protected her delicate hands from the cold by my burning kisses and +the warmth of my sighs. I passed the livelong night in watching over +her as she slept, and praying Heaven to refresh her with soft and +undisturbed repose. 'You can bear witness, just and all-seeing God! to +the fervour and sincerity of those prayers, and Thou alone knowest with +what awful rigour they were rejected.' + +"You will excuse me, if I now cut short a story which it distresses me +beyond endurance to relate. It is, I believe, a calamity without +parallel. I can never cease to deplore it. But although it continues, +of course, deeply and indelibly impressed on my memory, yet my heart +seems to shrink within me each time that I attempt the recital. + +"We had thus tranquilly passed the night. I had fondly imagined that +my beloved mistress was in a profound sleep, and I hardly dared to +breathe lest I should disturb her. As day broke, I observed that her +hands were cold and trembling; I pressed them to my bosom in the hope +of restoring animation. This movement roused her attention, and making +an effort to grasp my hand, she said, in a feeble voice, that she +thought her last moments had arrived. + +"I, at first, took this for a passing weakness, or the ordinary +language of distress; and I answered with the usual consolations that +love prompted. But her incessant sighs, her silence, and inattention +to my enquiries, the convulsed grasp of her hands, in which she +retained mine, soon convinced me that the crowning end of all my +miseries was approaching. + +"Do not now expect me to attempt a description of my feelings, or to +repeat her dying expressions. I lost her--I received the purest +assurances of her love even at the very instant that her spirit fled. +I have not nerve to say more upon this fatal and disastrous event. + +"My spirit was not destined to accompany Manon's. Doubtless, Heaven +did not as yet consider me sufficiently punished, and therefore +ordained that I should continue to drag on a languid and joyless +existence. I willingly renounced every hope of leading a happy one. + +"I remained for twenty-four hours without taking my lips from the still +beauteous countenance and hands of my adored Manon. My intention was +to await my own death in that position; but at the beginning of the +second day, I reflected that, after I was gone, she must of necessity +become the prey of wild beasts. I then determined to bury her, and +wait my own doom upon her grave. I was already, indeed, so near my end +from the combined effect of long fasting and grief, that it was with +the greatest difficulty I could support myself standing. I was obliged +to have recourse to the liquors which I had brought with me, and these +restored sufficient strength to enable me to set about my last sad +office. From the sandy nature of the soil there was little trouble in +opening the ground. I broke my sword and used it for the purpose; but +my bare hands were of greater service. I dug a deep grave, and there +deposited the idol of my heart, after having wrapt around her my +clothes to prevent the sand from touching her. I kissed her ten +thousand times with all the ardour of the most glowing love, before I +laid her in this melancholy bed. I sat for some time upon the bank +intently gazing on her, and could not command fortitude enough to close +the grave over her. At length, feeling that my strength was giving +way, and apprehensive of its being entirely exhausted before the +completion of my task, I committed to the earth all that it had ever +contained most perfect and peerless. I then lay myself with my face +down upon the grave, and closing my eyes with the determination never +again to open them, I invoked the mercy of Heaven, and ardently prayed +for death. + +"You will find it difficult to believe that, during the whole time of +this protracted and distressing ceremony, not a tear or a sigh escaped +to relieve my agony. The state of profound affliction in which I was, +and the deep settled resolution I had taken to die, had silenced the +sighs of despair, and effectually dried up the ordinary channels of +grief. It was thus impossible for me, in this posture upon the grave, +to continue for any time in possession of my faculties. + +"After what you have listened to, the remainder of my own history would +ill repay the attention you seem inclined to bestow upon it. Synnelet +having been carried into the town and skilfully examined, it was found +that, so far from being dead, he was not even dangerously wounded. He +informed his uncle of the manner in which the affray had occurred +between us, and he generously did justice to my conduct on the +occasion. I was sent for; and as neither of us could be found, our +flight was immediately suspected. It was then too late to attempt to +trace me, but the next day and the following one were employed in the +pursuit. + +"I was found, without any appearance of life, upon the grave of Manon: +and the persons who discovered me in this situation, seeing that I was +almost naked and bleeding from my wounds, naturally supposed that I had +been robbed and assassinated. They carried me into the town. The +motion restored me to my senses. The sighs I heaved on opening my eyes +and finding myself still amongst the living, showed that I was not +beyond the reach of art: they were but too successful in its +application. + +"I was immediately confined as a close prisoner. My trial was ordered; +and as Manon was not forthcoming, I was accused of having murdered her +from rage and jealousy. I naturally related all that had occurred. +Synnelet, though bitterly grieved and disappointed by what he heard, +had the generosity to solicit my pardon: he obtained it. + +"I was so reduced, that they were obliged to carry me from the prison +to my bed, and there I suffered for three long months under severe +illness. My aversion from life knew no diminution. I continually +prayed for death, and obstinately for some time refused every remedy. +But Providence, after having punished me with atoning rigour, saw fit +to turn to my own use its chastisements and the memory of my multiplied +sorrows. It at length deigned to shed upon me its redeeming light, and +revived in my mind ideas worthy of my birth and my early education. + +"My tranquillity of mind being again restored, my cure speedily +followed. I began only to feel the highest aspirations of honour, and +diligently performed the duties of my appointment, whilst expecting the +arrival of the vessels from France, which were always due at this +period of the year. I resolved to return to my native country, there +to expiate the scandal of my former life by my future good conduct. +Synnelet had the remains of my dear mistress removed into a more +hallowed spot. + +"It was six weeks after my recovery that, one day walking alone upon +the banks of the river, I saw a vessel arrive, which some mercantile +speculation had directed to New Orleans. I stood by whilst the +passengers landed. Judge my surprise on recognising Tiberge amongst +those who proceeded towards the town. This ever-faithful friend knew +me at a distance, in spite of the ravages which care and sorrow had +worked upon my countenance. He told me that the sole object of his +voyage had been to see me once more, and to induce me to return with +him to France; that on receipt of the last letter which I had written +to him from Havre, he started for that place, and was himself the +bearer of the succour which I solicited; that he had been sensibly +affected on learning my departure, and that he would have instantly +followed me, if there had been a vessel bound for the same destination; +that he had been for several months endeavouring to hear of one in the +various seaport towns, and that, having at length found one at St. Malo +which was weighing anchor for Martinique, he embarked, in the +expectation of easily passing from thence to New Orleans; that the St. +Malo vessel having been captured by Spanish pirates and taken to one of +their islands, he had contrived to escape; and that, in short, after +many adventures, he had got on board the vessel which had just arrived, +and at length happily attained his object. + +"I was totally unable adequately to express my feelings of gratitude to +this generous and unshaken friend. I conducted him to my house, and +placed all I possessed at his service. I related to him every +circumstance that had occurred to me since I left France: and in order +to gladden him with tidings which I knew he did not expect, I assured +him that the seeds of virtue which he had in former days implanted in +my heart, were now about to produce fruit, of which even he should be +proud. He declared to me, that this gladdening announcement more than +repaid him for all the fatigue and trouble he had endured. + +"We passed two months together at New Orleans whilst waiting the +departure of a vessel direct to France; and having at length sailed, we +landed only a fortnight since at Havre-de-Grace. On my arrival I wrote +to my family. By a letter from my elder brother, I there learned my +father's death, which, I dread to think, the disorders of my youth +might have hastened. The wind being favourable for Calais, I embarked +for this port, and am now going to the house of one of my relations who +lives a few miles off, where my brother said that he should anxiously +await my arrival." + + +[1] Some say that Love, at sight of human ties, + Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies. + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Manon Lescaut, by Abbé Prévost + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANON LESCAUT *** + +***** This file should be named 468-8.txt or 468-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/4/6/468/ + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Manon Lescaut + +Author: Abbé Prévost + +Posting Date: September 13, 2008 [EBook #468] +Release Date: March, 1996 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANON LESCAUT *** + + + + + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<BR><BR> + +<H1 ALIGN="center"> +MANON LESCAUT +</H1> + +<BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +by +</H3> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +Abbé Prévost +</H2> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H3> + <A HREF="#chap01">I</A> + <A HREF="#chap02">II</A> + <A HREF="#chap03">III</A> + <A HREF="#chap04">IV</A> + <A HREF="#chap05">V</A> + <A HREF="#chap06">VI</A> + <A HREF="#chap07">VII</A> + <A HREF="#chap08">VIII</A> + <A HREF="#chap09">IX</A> + <A HREF="#chap10">X</A> + <A HREF="#chap11">XI</A> + <A HREF="#chap12">XII</A> + <A HREF="#chap13">XIII</A> +</H3> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap01"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +I +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + Why did he love her? Curious fool, be still!<BR> + Is human love the fruit of human will?<BR> + BYRON.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +Just about six months before my departure for Spain, I first met the +Chevalier des Grieux. Though I rarely quitted my retreat, still the +interest I felt in my child's welfare induced me occasionally to +undertake short journeys, which, however, I took good care to abridge +as much as possible. +</P> + +<P> +I was one day returning from Rouen, where I had been, at her request, +to attend a cause then pending before the Parliament of Normandy, +respecting an inheritance to which I had claims derived from my +maternal grandfather. Having taken the road by Evreux, where I slept +the first night, I on the following day, about dinner-time, reached +Passy, a distance of five or six leagues. I was amazed, on entering +this quiet town, to see all the inhabitants in commotion. They were +pouring from their houses in crowds, towards the gate of a small inn, +immediately before which two covered vans were drawn up. Their horses +still in harness, and reeking from fatigue and heat, showed that the +cortege had only just arrived. I stopped for a moment to learn the +cause of the tumult, but could gain little information from the curious +mob as they rushed by, heedless of my enquiries, and hastening +impatiently towards the inn in the utmost confusion. At length an +archer of the civic guard, wearing his bandolier, and carrying a +carbine on his shoulder, appeared at the gate; so, beckoning him +towards me, I begged to know the cause of the uproar. "Nothing, sir," +said he, "but a dozen of the frail sisterhood, that I and my comrades +are conducting to Havre-de-Grace, whence we are to ship them for +America. There are one or two of them pretty enough; and it is that, +apparently, which attracts the curiosity of these good people." +</P> + +<P> +I should have passed on, satisfied with this explanation, if my +attention had not been arrested by the cries of an old woman, who was +coming out of the inn with her hands clasped, and exclaiming: +</P> + +<P> +"A downright barbarity!—A scene to excite horror and compassion!" +"What may this mean?" I enquired. "Oh! sir; go into the house +yourself," said the woman, "and see if it is not a sight to rend your +heart!" Curiosity made me dismount; and leaving my horse to the care +of the ostler, I made my way with some difficulty through the crowd, +and did indeed behold a scene sufficiently touching. +</P> + +<P> +Among the twelve girls, who were chained together by the waist in two +rows, there was one, whose whole air and figure seemed so ill-suited to +her present condition, that under other circumstances I should not have +hesitated to pronounce her a person of high birth. Her excessive +grief, and even the wretchedness of her attire, detracted so little +from her surpassing beauty, that at first sight of her I was inspired +with a mingled feeling of respect and pity. +</P> + +<P> +She tried, as well as the chain would permit her, to turn herself away, +and hide her face from the rude gaze of the spectators. There was +something so unaffected in the effort she made to escape observation, +that it could but have sprung from natural and innate modesty alone. +</P> + +<P> +As the six men who escorted the unhappy train were together in the +room, I took the chief one aside and asked for information respecting +this beautiful girl. All that he could supply was of the most vague +kind. "We brought her," he said, "from the Hospital, by order of the +lieutenant-general of police. There is no reason to suppose that she +was shut up there for good conduct. +</P> + +<P> +"I have questioned her often upon the road; but she persists in +refusing even to answer me. Yet, although I received no orders to make +any distinction between her and the others, I cannot help treating her +differently, for she seems to me somewhat superior to her companions. +Yonder is a young man," continued the archer, "who can tell you, better +than I can, the cause of her misfortunes. He has followed her from +Paris, and has scarcely dried his tears for a single moment. He must +be either her brother or her lover." +</P> + +<P> +I turned towards the corner of the room, where this young man was +seated. He seemed buried in a profound reverie. Never did I behold a +more affecting picture of grief. He was plainly dressed; but one may +discover at the first glance a man of birth and education. As I +approached him he rose, and there was so refined and noble an +expression in his eyes, in his whole countenance, in his every +movement, that I felt an involuntary impulse to render him any service +in my power. "I am unwilling to intrude upon your sorrows," said I, +taking a seat beside him, "but you will, perhaps, gratify the desire I +feel to learn something about that beautiful girl, who seems little +formed by nature for the miserable condition in which she is placed." +</P> + +<P> +He answered me candidly, that he could not communicate her history +without making himself known, and that he had urgent reasons for +preserving his own incognito. "I may, however, tell you this much, for +it is no longer a secret to these wretches," he continued, pointing to +the guards,—"that I adore her with a passion so ardent and absorbing +as to render me the most unhappy of human beings. I tried every means +at Paris to effect her liberty. Petitions, artifice, force—all +failed. Go where she may, I have resolved to follow her—to the +extremity of the world. I shall embark with her and cross to America. +</P> + +<P> +"But think of the brutal inhumanity of these cowardly ruffians," he +added, speaking of the guards; "they will not allow me to approach her! +I had planned an open attack upon them some leagues from Paris; having +secured, as I thought, the aid of four men, who for a considerable sum +hired me their services. The traitors, however, left me to execute my +scheme single-handed, and decamped with my money. The impossibility of +success made me of course abandon the attempt, I then implored of the +guards permission to follow in their train, promising them a +recompense. The love of money procured their consent; but as they +required payment every time I was allowed to speak to her, my purse was +speedily emptied; and now that I am utterly penniless, they are +barbarous enough to repulse me brutally, whenever I make the slightest +attempt to approach her. It is but a moment since, that venturing to +do so, in spite of their threats, one of the fellows raised the +butt-end of his musket. I am now driven by their exactions to dispose +of the miserable horse that has brought me hither, and am preparing to +continue the journey on foot." +</P> + +<P> +Although he seemed to recite this story tranquilly enough, I observed +the tears start to his eyes as he concluded. This adventure struck me +as being not less singular than it was affecting. "I do not press +you," said I to him, "to make me the confidant of your secrets; but if +I can be of use to you in any way, I gladly tender you my services." +"Alas!" replied he, "I see not the slightest ray of hope. I must +reconcile myself to my destiny in all its rigour. I shall go to +America: there, at least, I may be free to live with her I love. I +have written to a friend, who will send me money to Havre-de-Grace. My +only difficulty is to get so far, and to supply that poor creature," +added he, as he cast a look of sorrow at his mistress, "with some few +comforts upon the way." "Well!" said I to him, "I shall relieve you +from that difficulty. Here is some money, of which I entreat your +acceptance: I am only sorry that I can be of no greater service to you." +</P> + +<P> +I gave him four louis-d'ors without being perceived by the guards; for +I thought that if they knew he had this money, they might have raised +the price of their concessions. It occurred to me, even, to come to an +understanding with them, in order to secure for the young man the +privilege of conversing with his mistress, during the rest of the +journey to Havre, without hindrance. I beckoned the chief to approach, +and made the proposition to him. It seemed to abash the ruffian, in +spite of his habitual effrontery. "It is not, sir," said he, in an +embarrassed tone, "that we refuse to let him speak to the girl, but he +wishes to be always near her, which puts us to inconvenience; and it is +just that we should be paid for the trouble he occasions." "Let us +see!" said I to him, "what would suffice to prevent you from feeling +the inconvenience?" He had the audacity to demand two louis. I gave +them to him on the spot. "But have a care," said I to him, "that we +have no foul play: for I shall give the young man my address, in order +that he may write to me on his arrival; and be assured that I am not +without the power to punish you." It cost me altogether six +louis-d'ors. +</P> + +<P> +The graceful manner and heartfelt gratitude with which the young +unknown thanked me, confirmed my notion that he was of good birth and +merited my kindness. I addressed a few words to his mistress before I +left the room. She replied to me with a modesty so gentle and so +charming that I could not help making, as I went out, a thousand +reflections upon the incomprehensible character of women. +</P> + +<P> +Returned to my retreat, I remained in ignorance of the result of this +adventure; and ere two years had passed, it was completely blotted from +my recollection, when chance brought me an opportunity of learning all +the circumstances from beginning to end. +</P> + +<P> +I arrived at Calais, from London, with my pupil, the Marquis of ——. +We lodged, if I remember rightly, at the "Golden Lion," where, for some +reason, we were obliged to spend the following day and night. Walking +along the streets in the afternoon, I fancied I saw the same young man +whom I had formerly met at Passy. He was miserably dressed, and much +paler than when I first saw him. He carried on his arm an old +portmanteau, having only just arrived in the town. However, there was +an expression in his countenance too amiable not to be easily +recognised, and which immediately brought his features to my +recollection. "Observe that young man," said I to the Marquis; "we must +accost him." +</P> + +<P> +His joy was beyond expression when, in his turn, he recognised me. +</P> + +<P> +"Ah, sir!" he cried, kissing my hand, "I have then once again an +opportunity of testifying my eternal gratitude to you!" I enquired of +him whence he came. He replied, that he had just arrived, by sea, from +Havre, where he had lately landed from America. "You do not seem to be +too well off for money," said I to him; "go on to the 'Golden Lion,' +where I am lodging; I will join you in a moment." +</P> + +<P> +I returned, in fact, full of impatience to learn the details of his +misfortunes, and the circumstances of his voyage to America. I gave him +a thousand welcomes, and ordered that they should supply him with +everything he wanted. He did not wait to be solicited for the history +of his life. "Sir," said he to me, "your conduct is so generous, that +I should consider it base ingratitude to maintain any reserve towards +you. You shall learn not only my misfortunes and sufferings, but my +faults and most culpable weaknesses. I am sure that, even while you +blame me, you will not refuse me your sympathy." +</P> + +<P> +I should here inform the reader that I wrote down the story almost +immediately after hearing it; and he may, therefore, be assured of the +correctness and fidelity of the narrative. I use the word fidelity +with reference to the substance of reflections and sentiments, which +the young man conveyed in the most graceful language. Here, then, is +his story, which in its progress I shall not encumber with a single +observation that was not his own. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap02"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +II +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + I loved Ophelia! forty thousand brothers<BR> + Could not, with all their quantity of love,<BR> + Make up my sum.<BR> + SHAKESPEARE.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"I was seventeen years old, and was finishing my studies at Amiens, +whither my parents, who belonged to one of the first families in +Picardy, had sent me. I led a life so studious and well regulated, +that my masters pointed to me as a model of conduct for the other +scholars. Not that I made any extraordinary efforts to acquire this +reputation, but my disposition was naturally tractable and tranquil; my +inclinations led me to apply to study; and even the natural dislike I +felt for vice was placed to my credit as positive proof of virtue. The +successful progress of my studies, my birth, and some external +advantages of person, made me a general favourite with the inhabitants +of the town. +</P> + +<P> +"I completed my public exercises with such general approbation, that +the bishop of the diocese, who was present, proposed to me to enter the +church, where I could not fail, he said, to acquire more distinction +than in the Order of Malta, for which my parents had destined me. I was +already decorated with the Cross, and called the Chevalier des Grieux. +The vacation having arrived, I was preparing to return to my father, +who had promised to send me soon to the Academy. +</P> + +<P> +"My only regret on quitting Amiens arose from parting with a friend, +some years older than myself, to whom I had always been tenderly +attached. We had been brought up together; but from the straitened +circumstances of his family, he was intended to take orders, and was to +remain after me at Amiens to complete the requisite studies for his +sacred calling. He had a thousand good qualities. You will recognise +in him the very best during the course of my history, and above all, a +zeal and fervour of friendship which surpass the most illustrious +examples of antiquity. If I had at that time followed his advice, I +should have always continued a discreet and happy man. If I had even +taken counsel from his reproaches, when on the brink of that gulf into +which my passions afterwards plunged me, I should have been spared the +melancholy wreck of both fortune and reputation. But he was doomed to +see his friendly admonitions disregarded; nay, even at times repaid by +contempt from an ungrateful wretch, who often dared to treat his +fraternal conduct as offensive and officious. +</P> + +<P> +"I had fixed the day for my departure from Amiens. Alas! that I had +not fixed it one day sooner! I should then have carried to my father's +house my innocence untarnished. +</P> + +<P> +"The very evening before my expected departure, as I was walking with +my friend, whose name was Tiberge, we saw the Arras diligence arrive, +and sauntered after it to the inn, at which these coaches stop. We had +no other motive than curiosity. Some worn men alighted, and +immediately retired into the inn. One remained behind: she was very +young, and stood by herself in the court, while a man of advanced age, +who appeared to have charge of her, was busy in getting her luggage +from the vehicle. She struck me as being so extremely beautiful, that +I, who had never before thought of the difference between the sexes, or +looked on woman with the slightest attention—I, whose conduct had been +hitherto the theme of universal admiration, felt myself, on the +instant, deprived of my reason and self-control. I had been always +excessively timid, and easily disconcerted; but now, instead of meeting +with any impediment from this weakness, I advanced without the +slightest reserve towards her, who had thus become, in a moment, the +mistress of my heart. +</P> + +<P> +"Although younger than myself, she received my civilities without +embarrassment. I asked the cause of her journey to Amiens, and whether +she had any acquaintances in the town. She ingenuously told me that +she had been sent there by her parents, to commence her novitiate for +taking the veil. Love had so quickened my perception, even in the +short moment it had been enthroned, that I saw in this announcement a +death-blow to my hopes. I spoke to her in a way that made her at once +understand what was passing in my mind; for she had more experience +than myself. It was against her consent that she was consigned to a +convent, doubtless to repress that inclination for pleasure which had +already become too manifest, and which caused, in the sequel, all her +misfortunes and mine. I combated the cruel intention of her parents +with all the arguments that my new-born passion and schoolboy eloquence +could suggest. She affected neither austerity nor reserve. She told +me, after a moment's silence, that she foresaw too clearly, what her +unhappy fate must be; but that it was, apparently, the will of Heaven, +since there were no means left her to avert it. The sweetness of her +look, the air of sorrow with which she pronounced these words, or +rather perhaps the controlling destiny which led me on to ruin, allowed +me not an instant to weigh my answer. I assured her that if she would +place reliance on my honour, and on the tender interest with which she +had already inspired me, I would sacrifice my life to deliver her from +the tyranny of her parents, and to render her happy. I have since been +a thousand times astonished in reflecting upon it, to think how I could +have expressed myself with so much boldness and facility; but love +could never have become a divinity, if he had not often worked miracles. +</P> + +<P> +"I made many other pressing and tender speeches; and my unknown fair +one was perfectly aware that mine was not the age for deceit. She +confessed to me that if I could see but a reasonable hope of being able +to effect her enfranchisement, she should deem herself indebted for my +kindness in more than life itself could pay. I repeated that I was +ready to attempt anything in her behalf; but, not having sufficient +experience at once to imagine any reasonable plan of serving her, I did +not go beyond this general assurance, from which indeed little good +could arise either to her or to myself. Her old guardian having by +this time joined us, my hopes would have been blighted, but that she +had tact enough to make amends for my stupidity. I was surprised, on +his approaching us, to hear her call me her cousin, and say, without +being in the slightest degree disconcerted, that as she had been so +fortunate as to fall in with me at Amiens, she would not go into the +convent until the next morning, in order to have the pleasure of +meeting me at supper. Innocent as I was, I at once comprehended the +meaning of this ruse; and proposed that she should lodge for the night +at the house of an innkeeper, who, after being many years my father's +coachman, had lately established himself at Amiens, and who was +sincerely attached to me. +</P> + +<P> +"I conducted her there myself, at which the old Argus appeared to +grumble a little; and my friend Tiberge, who was puzzled by the whole +scene, followed, without uttering a word. He had not heard our +conversation, having walked up and down the court while I was talking +of love to my angelic mistress. As I had some doubts of his +discretion, I got rid of him, by begging that he would execute a +commission for me. I had thus the happiness, on arriving at the inn, +of entertaining alone the sovereign of my heart. +</P> + +<P> +"I soon learned that I was less a child than I had before imagined. My +heart expanded to a thousand sentiments of pleasure, of which I had not +before the remotest idea. A delicious consciousness of enjoyment +diffused itself through my whole mind and soul. I sank into a kind of +ecstasy, which deprived me for a time of the power of utterance, and +which found vent only in a flood of tears. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon Lescaut (this she told me was her name) seemed gratified by the +visible effect of her own charms. She appeared to me not less excited +than myself. She acknowledged that she was greatly pleased with me, +and that she should be enchanted to owe to me her freedom and future +happiness. She would insist on hearing who I was, and the knowledge +only augmented her affection; for, being herself of humble birth, she +was flattered by securing for her lover a man of family. +</P> + +<P> +"After many reflections we could discover no other resource than in +flight. To effect this it would be requisite to cheat the vigilance of +Manon's guardian, who required management, although he was but a +servant. We determined, therefore, that, during the night, I should +procure a post-chaise, and return with it at break of day to the inn, +before he was awake; that we should steal away quietly, and go straight +to Paris, where we might be married on our arrival. I had about fifty +crowns in my pocket, the fruit of my little savings at school; and she +had about twice as much. We imagined, like inexperienced children, +that such a sum could never be exhausted, and we counted, with equal +confidence, upon the success of our other schemes. +</P> + +<P> +"After having supped, with certainly more satisfaction than I had ever +before experienced, I retired to prepare for our project. All my +arrangements were the more easy, because, for the purpose of returning +on the morrow to my father's, my luggage had been already packed. I +had, therefore, no difficulty in removing my trunk, and having a chaise +prepared for five o'clock in the morning, at which hour the gates of +the town would be opened; but I encountered an obstacle which I was +little prepared for, and which nearly upset all my plans. +</P> + +<P> +"Tiberge, although only three years older than myself, was a youth of +unusually strong mind, and of the best regulated conduct. He loved me +with singular affection. The sight of so lovely a girl as Manon, my +ill-disguised impatience to conduct her to the inn, and the anxiety I +betrayed to get rid of him, had excited in his mind some suspicions of +my passion. He had not ventured to return to the inn where he had left +me, for fear of my being annoyed at his doing so; but went to wait for +me at my lodgings, where, although it was ten o'clock at night, I found +him on my arrival. His presence annoyed me, and he soon perceived the +restraint which it imposed. 'I am certain,' he said to me, without any +disguise, 'that you have some plan in contemplation which you will not +confide to me; I see it by your manner.' I answered him rather +abruptly, that I was not bound to render him an account of all my +movements. 'Certainly not!' he replied; 'but you have always, hitherto, +treated me as a friend, and that appellation implies a certain degree +of confidence and candour.' He pressed me so much and so earnestly to +discover my secret, that, having never up to that moment felt the +slightest reserve towards him, I confided to him now the whole history +of my passion. He heard it with an appearance of disapprobation, which +made me tremble; and I immediately repented of my indiscretion, in +telling him of my intended elopement. He told me he was too sincerely +my friend not to oppose every obstacle in his power to such a scheme; +that he would first try all other means of turning me from such a +purpose, but that if I refused to renounce so fatal a resolution, he +assuredly would inform some persons of my intention, who would be able +to defeat it. He held forth upon the subject for a full quarter of an +hour, in the most serious tone, and ended by again threatening to +inform against me, if I did not pledge him my word that I would return +to the paths of discretion and reason. +</P> + +<P> +"I was in despair at having so awkwardly betrayed myself. However, love +having wonderfully sharpened my intellect during the last two or three +hours, I recollected that I had not yet told him of its being my +intention to execute my project on the following morning, and I at once +determined to deceive him by a little equivocation. +</P> + +<P> +"'Tiberge,' said I to him, 'up to the present moment I thought you were +my friend; and I wished to prove it by the test of confidence. It is +true, I am in love; I have not deceived you: but with regard to my +flight, that is a project not to be undertaken without deliberation. +Call for me tomorrow at nine o'clock: you shall see my mistress, if it +be possible, and then judge whether she is not worthy of any risk or +sacrifice on my part.' He left me, with a thousand protestations of +friendship. +</P> + +<P> +"I employed the night in preparing for the journey, and on repairing to +the inn at early dawn, I found Manon waiting my arrival. She was at +her window, which looked upon the street, and perceiving my approach, +she came down and opened the door herself. We took our departure +silently, and without creating the least alarm. She merely brought +away a small portion of her apparel, of which I took charge. The +chaise was in readiness, and we were soon at a distance from the town. +</P> + +<P> +"You will learn in the sequel what was the conduct of Tiberge when he +discovered that I had deceived him; that his zeal to serve me suffered +no diminution; and you will observe to what lengths his devotion +carried him. How ought I to grieve, when I reflect on the base +ingratitude with which his affection was always repaid! +</P> + +<P> +"We made such speed on our journey that before night we reached St. +Denis. I rode alongside of the chaise, which gave us little +opportunity for conversation, except while changing horses; but when we +found ourselves so near Paris, and out of the reach of danger, we +allowed ourselves time for refreshment, not having tasted food since we +quitted Amiens. Passionately in love as I felt with Manon, she knew +how to convince me that she was equally so with me. So little did we +restrain our fondness, that we had not even patience to reserve our +caresses till we were alone. The postilions and innkeepers stared at us +with wonder, and I remarked that they appeared surprised at such +uncontrollable love in children of our age. +</P> + +<P> +"Our project of marriage was forgotten at St. Denis; we defrauded the +Church of her rights; and found ourselves united as man and wife +without reflecting on the consequences. It is certain that with my +easy and constant disposition, I should have been happy for my whole +life, if Manon had remained faithful to me. The more I saw of her, the +more I discovered in her new perfections. Her mind, her heart, her +gentleness and beauty, formed a chain at once so binding and so +agreeable, that I could have found perfect happiness in its enduring +influence. Terrible fatality, that which has been the source of my +despair, might, under a slight change of circumstances, have +constituted my happiness. I find myself the most wretched of mankind, +by the force of that very constancy from which I might have fairly +expected to derive the most serene of human blisses, and the most +perfect recompense of love. +</P> + +<P> +"We took a furnished apartment at Paris, in the Rue V——, and, as it +afterwards turned out, to my sorrow, close to the house of M. de B——, +the famous Fermier-general. Three weeks passed, during which I was so +absorbed in my passion, that I never gave a thought to my family, nor +dreamed of the distress which my father probably felt at my absence. +However, as there was yet nothing of profligacy about me, and as Manon +conducted herself with the strictest propriety, the tranquil life we +led served to restore me by degrees to a sense of duty. +</P> + +<P> +"I resolved to effect, if possible, a reconciliation with my parent. +My mistress was to me so perfectly lovable, that I could not doubt +her power of captivating my father, if I could only find the means of +making him acquainted with her good conduct and merit. In a word, I +relied on obtaining his consent to our marriage, having given up all +idea of accomplishing it without his approval. I mentioned the project +to Manon, and explained to her that, besides every motive of filial +love and duty, the weightier one of necessity should also have some +influence; for our finances were sadly reduced, and I began to see the +folly of thinking them, as I once did, inexhaustible. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon received the proposition with considerable coldness. However, +the difficulties she made, being apparently the suggestions of +tenderness alone, or as arising from the natural fear of losing me, if +my father, after learning our address, should refuse his assent to our +union, I had not the smallest suspicion of the cruel blow she was at +the very time preparing to inflict. As to the argument of necessity, +she replied that we had still abundant means of living for some weeks +longer, and that she would then find a resource in the kindness of some +relations in the country, to whom she should write. She tempered her +opposition by caresses so tender and impassioned, that I, who lived +only for her, and who never had the slightest misgiving as to her love, +applauded at once her arguments and her resolutions. +</P> + +<P> +"To Manon I had committed the care of our finances, and the house-hold +arrangements. In a short time, I observed that our style of living was +improved, and that she had treated herself to more expensive dresses. +As I calculated that we could hardly have at this period more than +fifteen or twenty crowns remaining, I did not conceal my surprise at +this mysterious augmentation of our wealth. She begged of me, with a +smile, to give myself no trouble on that head. 'Did I not promise +you,' said she, 'that I would find resources?' I loved her too purely +to experience the slightest suspicion. +</P> + +<P> +"One day, having gone out in the afternoon, and told her that I should +not be at home so early as usual, I was astonished, on my return, at +being detained several minutes at the door. Our only servant was a +young girl about our own age. On her letting me in at last, I asked +why she had detained me so long? She replied in an embarrassed tone, +that she did not hear me knock. 'I only knocked once,' said I; 'so if +you did not hear me, why come to open the door at all?' This query +disconcerted her so visibly, that losing her presence of mind, she +began to cry, assuring me that it was not her fault; and that her +mistress had desired her not to open the door until M. de B—— had had +time to go down by the back staircase. I was so confounded by this +information as to be utterly unable to proceed to our apartment; and +was obliged to leave the house, under the pretext of an appointment. I +desired the girl, therefore, to let her mistress know that I should +return in a few minutes, but on no account to say that she had spoken +to me of M. de B——. +</P> + +<P> +"My horror was so great, that I shed tears as I went along, hardly +knowing from what feeling they flowed. I entered a coffee-house close +by, and placing myself at a table, I buried my face between my hands, +as though I would turn my eyes inward to ascertain what was passing in +my heart. Still, I dared not recall what I had heard the moment +before. I strove to look upon it as a dream; and was more than once on +the point of returning to my lodgings, determined to attach no +importance to what I had heard. +</P> + +<P> +"It appeared to me so impossible that Manon could have been unfaithful, +that I feared even to wrong her by a suspicion. I adored her—that was +too certain; I had not on my part given her more proofs of my love than +I had received of hers; why then should I charge her with being less +sincere and constant than myself? What reason could she have to +deceive me? Not three hours before, she had lavished upon me the most +tender caresses, and had received mine with transport: I knew her heart +as thoroughly as my own. 'No, no!' I said, 'it is not possible that +Manon can have deceived me. She well knows that I live but for her; +that I adore her: upon that point I can have no reason to be unhappy.' +</P> + +<P> +"Notwithstanding these reflections, the visit of M. de B——, and his +secret departure, gave me some uneasiness. I remembered, too, the +little purchases she had lately made, which seemed beyond our present +means. This looked like the liberality of a new lover. And the +confidence with which she had foretold resources which were to me +unknown? I had some difficulty in solving these mysteries in as +favourable a manner as my heart desired. +</P> + +<P> +"On the other hand, she had been hardly out of my sight since we +entered Paris. However occupied, in our walks, in all our amusements, +she was ever at my side. Heavens! even a momentary separation would +have been too painful. I could not therefore imagine how Manon could, +to any other person, have devoted a single instant. +</P> + +<P> +"At last I thought I had discovered a clue to the mystery. 'M. de +B——' said I to myself, 'is a man extensively engaged in commercial +affairs; and Manon's relations have no doubt remitted her money through +his house. She has probably already received some from him, and he is +come today to bring her more. She wishes, perhaps, to derive amusement +by and by, from an agreeable surprise, by keeping me at present in the +dark. She would doubtless have at once told me all, if I had gone in +as usual, instead of coming here to distress myself: at all events, she +will not conceal it from me when I broach the subject myself.' +</P> + +<P> +"I cherished this idea so willingly, that it considerably lightened my +grief. I immediately returned to my lodgings, and embraced Manon as +tenderly as ever. She received me as usual. At first I was tempted to +mention my conjectures, which I now, more than ever, looked upon as +certain; but I restrained myself in the hope that she might render it +unnecessary by informing me of all that had passed. +</P> + +<P> +"Supper was served. Assuming an air of gaiety, I took my seat at +table; but by the light of the candles which were between us, I fancied +I perceived an air of melancholy about the eyes and countenance of my +beloved mistress. The very thought soon damped my gaiety. I remarked +that her looks wore an unusual expression, and although nothing could +be more soft or languishing, I was at a loss to discover whether they +conveyed more of love than of compassion. I gazed at her with equal +earnestness, and she perhaps had no less difficulty in comprehending +from my countenance what was passing in my heart. We neither spoke nor +ate. At length I saw tears starting from her beauteous +eyes—perfidious tears! 'Oh heavens!' I cried, 'my dearest Manon, why +allow your sorrows to afflict you to this degree without imparting +their cause to me?' She answered me only with sighs, which increased +my misery. I arose trembling from my seat: I conjured her, with all +the urgent earnestness of love, to let me know the cause of her grief: +I wept in endeavouring to soothe her sorrows: I was more dead than +alive. A barbarian would have pitied my sufferings as I stood +trembling with grief and apprehension. +</P> + +<P> +"While my attention was thus confined to her, I heard people coming +upstairs. They tapped gently at the door. Manon gave me a kiss, and +escaping from my arms, quickly entered the boudoir, turning the key +after her. I imagined that, not being dressed to receive strangers, +she was unwilling to meet the persons who had knocked; I went to let +them in. +</P> + +<P> +"I had hardly opened the door, when I found myself seized by three men, +whom I recognised as my father's servants. They offered not the least +violence, but two of them taking me by the arms, the third examined my +pockets, and took out a small knife, the only weapon I had about me. +They begged pardon for the necessity they were under of treating me +with apparent disrespect; telling me frankly that they were acting by +the orders of my father, and that my eldest brother was in a carriage +below waiting to receive me. My feelings were so overpowered, that I +allowed myself to be led away without making either reply or +resistance. I found my brother waiting for me as they had stated. +They placed me by his side, and the coachman immediately drove, by his +orders, towards St. Denis. +</P> + +<P> +"My brother embraced me most affectionately, but during our ride, he +uttered not a word, so that, as I was not inclined for conversation, I +had as much leisure as I could desire to reflect upon my misfortunes." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap03"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +III +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + That we can call these delicate creatures ours,<BR> + And not their appetites.<BR> + SHAKESPEARE.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"The whole affair was so involved in obscurity that I could not see my +way even to a reasonable conjecture. I was cruelly betrayed—that was +certain; but by whom? Tiberge first occurred to me. 'Tiberge!' said +I, 'it is as much as thy life is worth, if my suspicions turn out to be +well founded.' However, I recollected that he could not by possibility +know my abode; and therefore, he could not have furnished the +information. To accuse Manon was more than my heart was capable of. +The unusual melancholy with which she had lately seemed weighed down, +her tears, the tender kiss she gave me in parting, made it all as yet a +mystery to me. I could only look upon her recent melancholy as a +presentiment of our common misfortune; and while I was deploring the +event which tore me from her, I was credulous enough to consider her +fate as much deserving of pity as my own. +</P> + +<P> +"The result of my reflections was, that I had been seen and followed in +the streets of Paris by some persons of my acquaintance, who had +conveyed the information to my father. This idea comforted me. I made +up my mind to encounter some reproaches, or perhaps harsh treatment, +for having outraged the paternal authority. I resolved, however, to +suffer with patience, and to promise all that might be required of me, +in order to facilitate my speedy return to Paris, that I might restore +life and happiness to my dear Manon. +</P> + +<P> +"We soon arrived at St. Denis. My brother, surprised at my long +silence, thought it the effect of fear. He assured me that I had +nothing to apprehend from my father's severity, provided I showed a +disposition to return quietly to the path of duty, and prove myself +worthy of his affection. He made me pass the night at St. Denis, +merely taking the precaution of putting the three lackeys to sleep in +my room. It cost me a pang to find myself in the same inn where I had +stopped with Manon on our way from Amiens to Paris. The innkeeper and +his servants recognised me, and guessed at once the truth of my +history. I overheard them say, 'Ah! that's the handsome young +gentleman who travelled this road about a month ago, with the beautiful +girl he appeared so much in love with! How pretty she was! The poor +young things, how they caressed each other! Pity if they have been +separated!' I pretended not to hear, and kept as much out of sight as +possible. +</P> + +<P> +"At St. Denis my brother had a chariot waiting for us, in which we +started early the next morning, and arrived at home before night. +</P> + +<P> +"He saw my father first, in order to make a favourable impression by +telling him how quietly I had allowed myself to be brought away, so +that his reception of me was less austere than I had expected. He +merely rebuked me in general terms for the offence I had committed, by +absenting myself without his permission. As for my mistress, he said I +richly deserved what had happened to me, for abandoning myself to a +person utterly unknown; that he had entertained a better opinion of my +discretion; but that he hoped this little adventure would make me +wiser. I took the whole lecture only in the sense that accorded with +my own notions. I thanked my father for his indulgence, and promised +that I would in future observe a better regulated and more obedient +course of conduct. I felt that I had secured a triumph; for, from the +present aspect of affairs, there was no doubt that I should be free to +effect my escape from the house even before the night was over. +</P> + +<P> +"We sat down to supper. They rallied me about my Amiens conquest, and +my flight with that paragon of fidelity. I took their jokes in good +part, glad enough at being permitted to revolve in my mind the plans I +had meditated; but some words which fell from my father made me listen +with earnest attention. He spoke of perfidy, and the not disinterested +kindness he had received at the hands of M. de B——. I was almost +paralysed on hearing the name, and begged of my father to explain +himself. He turned to my brother, to ask if he had not told me the +whole story. My brother answered, that I appeared to him so tranquil +upon the road, that he did not suppose I required this remedy to cure +me of my folly. I remarked that my father was doubtful whether he +should give me the explanation or not. I entreated him so earnestly +that he satisfied me, or I should rather say tortured me, with the +following most horrible narration. +</P> + +<P> +"He began by asking me whether I was really simple enough to believe +that I had been really loved by the girl. I told him confidently that +I was perfectly sure of it, and that nothing could make me for a moment +doubt it. 'Ha, ha, ha!' said he, with a loud laugh; 'that is excellent! +you are a pretty dupe! Admirable idea! 'Twould be a thousand pities, +my poor chevalier, to make you a Knight of Malta, with all the +requisites you possess for a patient and accommodating husband.' He +continued in the same tone to ridicule what he was pleased to call my +dullness and credulity. +</P> + +<P> +"He concluded, while I maintained a profound silence, by saying that, +according to the nicest calculation he could make of the time since my +departure from Amiens, Manon must have been in love with me about +twelve days; 'for,' said he, 'I know that you left Amiens on the 28th +of last month; this is, the 29th of the present; it is eleven days +since M. de B—— wrote to me; I suppose he required eight days to +establish a perfect understanding with your mistress; so that, take +eight and eleven from thirty-one days, the time between the 28th of one +month and the 29th of the next, there remains twelve, more or less!' +This joke was followed by shouts of laughter. +</P> + +<P> +"I heard it all with a kind of sinking of the heart that I thought I +could not bear up against, until he finished. 'You must know then,' +continued my father, 'since you appear as yet ignorant of it, that M. +de B—— has won the affections of your idol; for he can't be serious +in pretending that it is his disinterested regard for me that has +induced him to take her from you. It would be absurd to expect such +noble sentiments from a man of his description, and one, besides, who +is a perfect stranger to me. He knew that you were my son, and in +order to get rid of you, he wrote to inform me of your abode, and of +the life you led; saying, at the same time, that strong measures would +be necessary to secure you. +</P> + +<P> +"He offered to procure me the means of laying hold of you; and it was +by his direction, as well as that of your mistress herself, that your +brother hit upon the moment for catching you unawares. Now, you may +congratulate yourself upon the duration of your triumph. You know how +to conquer, rapid enough; but you have yet to learn how to secure your +conquests.' +</P> + +<P> +"I could no longer endure these remarks, every one of which struck a +dagger to my heart. I arose from the table, and had not advanced four +steps towards the door, when I fell upon the floor, perfectly +senseless. By prompt applications they soon brought me to myself. My +eyes opened only to shed a torrent of tears, and my lips to utter the +most sorrowful and heartrending complaints. My father, who always loved +me most affectionately, tried every means to console me. I listened to +him, but his words were without effect. I threw myself at his feet, in +the attitude of prayer, conjuring him to let me return to Paris, and +destroy the monster B——. 'No!' cried I; 'he has not gained Manon's +heart; he may have seduced her by charms, or by drugs; he may have even +brutally violated her. Manon loves me. Do I not know that well? He +must have terrified her with a poniard, to induce her to abandon me.' +What must he not have done to have robbed me of my angelic mistress? +Oh Heaven! Heaven! can it be possible that Manon deceived me, or that +she has ceased to love me! +</P> + +<P> +"As I continued to rave about returning at once to Paris, and was +perpetually starting up with that purpose, my father clearly saw that +while the paroxysm lasted, no arguments could pacify me. He conducted +me to one of the upper rooms, and left two servants to keep constant +watch over me. I was completely bewildered. I would have given a +thousand lives to be but for one quarter of an hour in Paris. I had +sense enough, however, to know that having so openly declared my +intention, they would not easily allow me to quit my chamber. I looked +at the height of the windows. Seeing no possibility of escaping that +way, I addressed the servants in the most tranquil tone. I promised, +with the most solemn vows, to make at some future day their fortunes, +if they would but consent to my escape. I entreated them; I tried +caresses, and lastly threats; but all were unavailing. I gave myself +up to despair. I resolved to die; and threw myself upon the bed, with +a firm determination to quit it only with my life. In this situation I +passed the night and the following day. I refused the nourishment that +was brought to me next morning. +</P> + +<P> +"My father came to see me in the afternoon. He tried in the most +affectionate manner, to soothe my grief. He desired me so urgently to +take some refreshment, that, to gratify him, I obeyed his wishes. +Several days passed, during which I took nothing but in his presence, +and at his special request. He continued to furnish new arguments to +restore me to my proper senses, and to inspire me with merited contempt +for the faithless Manon. I certainly had lost all esteem for her: how +could I esteem the most fickle and perfidious of created beings! But +her image—those exquisite features, which were engraven on my heart's +core, were still uneffaced. I understood my own feelings: 'I may +die,' said I, 'and I ought to die after so much shame and grief; but I +might suffer a thousand deaths without being able to forget the ingrate +Manon.' +</P> + +<P> +"My father was surprised at my still continuing so powerfully affected. +He knew that I was imbued with the principles of honour; and not +doubting that her infidelity must make me despise her, fancied that my +obstinacy proceeded less from this particular passion, than from a +general inclination towards the sex. This idea so took possession of +his mind, that, prompted only by his affection for me, he came one day +to reveal his thoughts. 'Chevalier,' said he to me, 'it has been +hitherto my intention to make you bear the Cross of Malta: I now see +that your inclinations do not bend that way. You are an admirer of +beauty. I shall be able to find you a wife to your taste. Let me +candidly know how you feel upon the subject.' +</P> + +<P> +"I answered that I could never again see the slightest difference +amongst women, and that after the misfortune I had experienced, I +detested them all equally. 'I will find you one,' replied my father, +smiling, 'who shall resemble Manon in beauty, but who shall be more +faithful.' 'Ah! if you have any mercy,' said I, 'you will restore my +Manon to me. Be assured, my dear father, that she has not betrayed me; +she is incapable of such base and cruel treachery. It is the +perfidious B—— who deceives both her and me. If you could form an +idea of her tenderness and her sincerity—if you only knew her, you +yourself would love her!' 'You are absolutely a child,' replied my +father. 'How can you so delude yourself, after what I have told you +about her? It was she who actually delivered you up to your brother. +You ought to obliterate even her name from your memory, and take +advantage, if you are wise, of the indulgence I am showing you.' +</P> + +<P> +"I very clearly perceived that my father was right. It was an +involuntary emotion that made me thus take part with the traitor. +'Alas!' replied I, after a moment's silence, 'it is but too true that I +am the unhappy victim of the vilest perfidy. Yes,' I continued, while +shedding tears of anger, 'I too clearly perceive that I am indeed but a +child. Credulity like mine was easily gulled; but I shall be at no +loss to revenge myself.' My father enquired of me my intentions: 'I +will go to Paris,' I said, 'set fire to B——'s house, and immolate him +and the perfidious Manon together.' This burst made my father laugh, +and had only the effect of causing me to be more vigilantly watched in +my cell. +</P> + +<P> +"I thus passed six long months; during the first of which my mind +underwent little change. My feelings were in a state of perpetual +alternation between hate and love; between hope and despair; according +as, the tendency of each passing thought brought Manon back to my +recollection. At one time, I could see in her the most delightful of +women only, and sigh for the pleasure of beholding her once more; at +another, I felt she was the most unworthy and perfidious of mistresses, +and I would on these occasions swear never again to seek her, but for +the purpose of revenge. +</P> + +<P> +"I was supplied with books, which served to restore my peace of mind. +I read once again all my favourite authors; and I became acquainted +with new ones. All my former taste for study was revived. You will +see of what use this was to me in the sequel. The light I had already +derived from love, enabled me to comprehend many passages in Horace and +Virgil which had before appeared obscure. I wrote an amatory +commentary upon the fourth book of the AEneid. I intend one day to +publish it, and I flatter myself it will be popular. +</P> + +<P> +"'Alas!' I used to exclaim, 'whilst employed on that work, it was for a +heart like mine the faithful Dido sighed, and sighed in vain!' +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap04"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +IV +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + Now, by the strange enchantment that surrounds thee,<BR> + There's nothing—nothing thou shalt ask in vain.<BR> + ESSEX.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"While in my confinement Tiberge came one day to see me. I was +surprised at the affectionate joy with which he saluted me. I had +never, hitherto, observed any peculiar warmth in his friendship that +could lead me to look upon it as anything more than the partiality +common among boys of the same age. He was so altered, and had grown so +manly during the five or six months since I had last seen him, that his +expressive features and his manner of addressing me inspired me with a +feeling of respect. He spoke more in the character of a mentor than a +schoolfellow, lamented the delusion into which I had fallen, +congratulated me on my reformation, which he believed was now sincere, +and ended by exhorting me to profit by my youthful error, and open my +eyes to the vanity of worldly pleasures. I looked at him with some +astonishment, which he at once perceived. +</P> + +<P> +"'My dear chevalier,' said he to me, 'you shall hear nothing but the +strict truth, of which I have assured myself by the most serious +examination. I had, perhaps, as strong an inclination for pleasure as +you, but Heaven had at the same time, in its mercy, blessed me with a +taste for virtue. I exercised my reason in comparing the consequences +of the one with those of the other, and the divine aid was graciously +vouchsafed to my reflections. I conceived for the world a contempt +which nothing can equal. Can you guess what it is retains me in it +now,' he added, 'and that prevents me from embracing a life of +solitude? Simply the sincere friendship I bear towards you. I know +the excellent qualities of both your heart and head. There is no good +of which you may not render yourself capable. The blandishments of +pleasure have momentarily drawn you aside. What detriment to the +sacred cause of virtue! Your flight from Amiens gave me such intense +sorrow, that I have not since known a moment's happiness. You may judge +of this by the steps it induced me to take.' He then told me how, +after discovering that I had deceived him, and gone off with my +mistress, he procured horses for the purpose of pursuing me, but having +the start of him by four or five hours, he found it impossible to +overtake me; that he arrived, however, at St. Denis half an hour after +I had left it; that, being very sure that I must have stopped in Paris, +he spent six weeks there in a fruitless endeavour to discover +me—visiting every place where he thought he should be likely to meet +me, and that one evening he at length recognised my mistress at the +play, where she was so gorgeously dressed, that he of course set it +down to the account of some new lover; that he had followed her +equipage to her house, and had there learned from a servant that she +was entertained in this style by M. de B——. 'I did not stop here,' +continued he; 'I returned next day to the house, to learn from her own +lips what had become of you. She turned abruptly away when she heard +the mention of your name, and I was obliged to return into the country +without further information. I there learned the particulars of your +adventure, and the extreme annoyance she had caused you; but I was +unwilling to visit you until I could have assurance of your being in a +more tranquil state.' +</P> + +<P> +"'You have seen Manon then!' cried I, sighing. 'Alas! you are happier +than I, who am doomed never again to behold her.' He rebuked me for +this sigh, which still showed my weakness for the perfidious girl. He +flattered me so adroitly upon the goodness of my mind and disposition, +that he really inspired me, even on this first visit, with a strong +inclination to renounce, as he had done, the pleasures of the world, +and enter at once into holy orders. +</P> + +<P> +"The idea was so suited to my present frame of mind, that when alone I +thought of nothing else. I remembered the words of the Bishop of +Amiens, who had given me the same advice, and thought only of the +happiness which he predicted would result from my adoption of such a +course. Piety itself took part in these suggestions. 'I shall lead a +holy and a Christian life,' said I; 'I shall divide my time between +study and religion, which will allow me no leisure for the perilous +pleasures of love. I shall despise that which men ordinarily admire; +and as I am conscious that my heart will desire nothing but what it can +esteem, my cares will not be greater or more numerous than my wants and +wishes.' +</P> + +<P> +"I thereupon pictured to myself in anticipation a course of life +peaceful and retired. I fancied a retreat embosomed in a wood, with a +limpid stream of running water bounding my garden; a library, +comprising the most select works; a limited circle of friends, virtuous +and intellectual; a table neatly served, but frugal and temperate. To +all these agremens I added a literary correspondence with a friend +whose residence should be in Paris, who should give me occasional +information upon public affairs, less for the gratification of my +curiosity, than to afford a kind of relaxation by hearing of and +lamenting the busy follies of men. 'Shall not I be happy?' added I; +'will not my utmost wishes be thus gratified?' This project flattered +my inclinations extremely. But after all the details of this most +admirable and prudent plan, I felt that my heart still yearned for +something; and that in order to leave nothing to desire in this most +enchanting retirement, one ought to be able to share it with Manon. +</P> + +<P> +"However, Tiberge continuing to pay me frequent visits in order to +strengthen me in the purpose with which he had inspired me, I took an +opportunity of opening the subject to my father. He declared that his +intention ever was to leave his children free to choose a profession, +and that in whatever manner I should dispose of myself, all he wished +to reserve was the right of aiding me with his counsel. On this +occasion he gave me some of the wisest, which tended less to divert me +from my project, than to convince me of my good father's sound judgment +and discretion. +</P> + +<P> +"The recommencement of the scholastic year being at hand, Tiberge and I +agreed to enter ourselves together at St. Sulpice, he to pursue his +theological studies, and I to begin mine. His merits, which were not +unknown to the bishop of the diocese, procured him the promise of a +living from that prelate before our departure. +</P> + +<P> +"My father, thinking me quite cured of my passion, made no objection to +my taking final leave. We arrived at Paris. The Cross of Malta gave +place to the ecclesiastical habit, and the designation of the Abbé de +Grieux was substituted for that of chevalier. I applied so diligently +to study, that in a few months I had made extraordinary progress. I +never lost a moment of the day, and employed even part of the night. I +soon acquired such a reputation, that I was already congratulated upon +the honours which I was sure of obtaining; and, without solicitation on +my part, my name was inscribed on the list for a vacant benefice. +Piety was by no means neglected, and I entered with ardent devotion +into all the exercises of religion. Tiberge was proud of what he +considered the work of his own hands, and many a time have I seen him +shed tears of delight in noticing what he styled my perfect conversion. +</P> + +<P> +"It has never been matter of wonder to me that human resolutions are +liable to change; one passion gives them birth, another may destroy +them; but when I reflect upon the sacredness of those motives that led +me to St. Sulpice, and upon the heartfelt satisfaction I enjoyed while +obeying their dictation, I shudder at the facility with which I +outraged them all. If it be true that the benign succour afforded by +Heaven is at all times equal to the strongest of man's pinions, I shall +be glad to learn the nature of the deplorable ascendancy which causes +us suddenly to swerve from the path of duty, without the power of +offering the least resistance, and without even the slightest +visitation of remorse. +</P> + +<P> +"I now thought myself entirely safe from the dangers of love. I +fancied that I could have preferred a single page of St. Augustine, or +a quarter of an hour of Christian meditation, to every sensual +gratification, not excepting any that I might have derived even from +Manon's society. Nevertheless, one unlucky moment plunged me again +headlong into the gulf; and my ruin was the more irreparable, because, +falling at once to the same depth from whence I had been before +rescued, each of the new disorders into which I now lapsed carried me +deeper and deeper still down the profound abyss of vice. I had passed +nearly a year at Paris without hearing of Manon. It cost me no slight +effort to abstain from enquiry; but the unintermitting advice of +Tiberge, and my own reflections, secured this victory over my wishes. +The last months glided away so tranquilly, that I considered the memory +of this charming but treacherous creature about to be consigned to +eternal oblivion. +</P> + +<P> +"The time arrived when I was to undergo a public examination in the +class of theology: I invited several persons of consideration to +honour me with their presence on the occasion. My name was mentioned in +every quarter of Paris: it even reached the ears of her who had +betrayed me. She had some difficulty in recognising it with the prefix +of Abbé; but curiosity, or perhaps remorse for having been faithless to +me (I could never after ascertain by which of these feelings she was +actuated), made her at once take an interest in a name so like mine; +and she came with several other women to the Sorbonne, where she was +present at my examination, and had doubtless little trouble in +recognising my person. +</P> + +<P> +"I had not the remotest suspicion of her presence. It is well known +that in these places there are private seats for ladies, where they +remain screened by a curtain. I returned to St. Sulpice covered with +honours and congratulations. It was six in the evening. The moment I +returned, a lady was announced, who desired to speak with me. I went +to meet her. Heavens! what a surprise! +</P> + +<P> +"It was Manon. It was she indeed, but more bewitching and brilliant +than I had ever beheld her. She was now in her eighteenth year. Her +beauty beggars all description. The exquisite grace of her form, the +mild sweetness of expression that animated her features, and her +engaging air, made her seem the very personification of love. The +vision was something too perfect for human beauty. +</P> + +<P> +"I stood like one enchanted at beholding her. Unable to divine the +object of her visit, I waited trembling and with downcast looks until +she explained herself. At first, her embarrassment was equal to mine; +but, seeing that I was not disposed to break silence, she raised her +hand to her eyes to conceal a starting tear, and then, in a timid tone, +said that she well knew she had justly earned my abhorrence by her +infidelity; but that if I had ever really felt any love for her, there +was not much kindness in allowing two long years to pass without +enquiring after her, and as little now in seeing her in the state of +mental distress in which she was, without condescending to bestow upon +her a single word. I shall not attempt to describe what my feelings +were as I listened to this reproof. +</P> + +<P> +"She seated herself. I remained standing, with my face half turned +aside, for I could not muster courage to meet her look. I several +times commenced a reply without power to conclude it. At length I made +an effort, and in a tone of poignant grief exclaimed: 'Perfidious +Manon! perfidious, perfidious creature!' She had no wish, she repeated +with a flood of tears, to attempt to justify her infidelity. 'What is +your wish, then?' cried I. 'I wish to die,' she answered, 'if you will +not give me back that heart, without which it is impossible to endure +life.' 'Take my life too, then, faithless girl!' I exclaimed, in vain +endeavouring to restrain my tears; 'take my life also! it is the sole +sacrifice that remains for me to make, for my heart has never ceased to +be thine.' +</P> + +<P> +"I had hardly uttered these words, when she rose in a transport of joy, +and approached to embrace me. She loaded me with a thousand caresses. +She addressed me by all the endearing appellations with which love +supplies his votaries, to enable them to express the most passionate +fondness. I still answered with affected coldness; but the sudden +transition from a state of quietude, such as that I had up to this +moment enjoyed, to the agitation and tumult which were now kindled in +my breast and tingled through my veins, thrilled me with a kind of +horror, and impressed me with a vague sense that I was about to undergo +some great transformation, and to enter upon a new existence. +</P> + +<P> +"We sat down close by each other. I took her hand within mine, 'Ah! +Manon,' said I, with a look of sorrow, 'I little thought that love like +mine could have been repaid with treachery! It was a poor triumph to +betray a heart of which you were the absolute mistress—whose sole +happiness it was to gratify and obey you. Tell me if among others you +have found any so affectionate and so devoted? No, no! I believe +nature has cast few hearts in the same mould as mine. Tell me at least +whether you have ever thought of me with regret! Can I have any +reliance on the duration of the feeling that has brought you back to me +today? I perceive too plainly that you are infinitely lovelier than +ever: but I conjure you by all my past sufferings, dearest Manon, to +tell me—can you in future be more faithful?' +</P> + +<P> +"She gave me in reply such tender assurances of her repentance, and +pledged her fidelity with such solemn protestations and vows, that I +was inexpressibly affected. 'Beauteous Manon,' said I, with rather a +profane mixture of amorous and theological expressions, 'you are too +adorable for a created being. I feel my heart transported with +triumphant rapture. It is folly to talk of liberty at St. Sulpice. +Fortune and reputation are but slight sacrifices at such a shrine! I +plainly foresee it: I can read my destiny in your bright eyes; but what +abundant recompense shall I not find in your affections for any loss I +may sustain! The favours of fortune have no influence over me: fame +itself appears to me but a mockery; all my projects of a holy life were +wild absurdities: in fact, any joys but those I may hope for at your +side are fit objects of contempt. There are none that would not vanish +into worthlessness before one single glance of thine!' +</P> + +<P> +"In promising her, however, a full remission of her past frailties, I +enquired how she permitted herself to be led astray by B——. She +informed me that having seen her at her window, he became passionately +in love with her; that he made his advances in the true style of a +mercantile cit;—that is to say, by giving her to understand in his +letter, that his payments would be proportioned to her favours; that +she had admitted his overtures at first with no other intention than +that of getting from him such a sum as might enable us to live without +inconvenience; but that he had so bewildered her with splendid +promises, that she allowed herself to be misled by degrees. She added, +that I ought to have formed some notion of the remorse she experienced, +by her grief on the night of our separation; and assured me that, in +spite of the splendour in which he maintained her, she had never known +a moment's happiness with him, not only, she said, because he was +utterly devoid of that delicacy of sentiment and of those agreeable +manners which I possessed, but because even in the midst of the +amusements which he unceasingly procured her, she could never shake off +the recollection of my love, or her own ingratitude. She then spoke of +Tiberge, and the extreme embarrassment his visit caused her. 'A +dagger's point,' she added, 'could not have struck more terror to my +heart. I turned from him, unable to sustain the interview for a +moment.' +</P> + +<P> +"She continued to inform me how she had been apprised of my residence +at Paris, of the change in my condition, and of her witnessing my +examination at the Sorbonne. She told me how agitated she had been +during my intellectual conflict with the examiner; what difficulty she +felt in restraining her tears as well as her sighs, which were more +than once on the point of spurning all control, and bursting forth; +that she was the last person to leave the hall of examination, for fear +of betraying her distress, and that, following only the instinct of her +own heart, and her ardent desires, she came direct to the seminary, +with the firm resolution of surrendering life itself, if she found me +cruel enough to withhold my forgiveness. +</P> + +<P> +"Could any savage remain unmoved by such proofs of cordial repentance +as those I had just witnessed? For my part, I felt at the moment that +I could gladly have given up all the bishoprics in Christendom for +Manon. I asked what course she would recommend in our present +emergency. 'It is requisite,' she replied, 'at all events, to quit the +seminary, and settle in some safer place.' I consented to everything +she proposed. She got into her carriage to go and wait for me at the +corner of the street. I escaped the next moment, without attracting +the porter's notice. I entered the carriage, and we drove off to a +Jew's. I there resumed my lay-dress and sword. Manon furnished the +supplies, for I was without a sou, and fearing that I might meet with +some new impediment, she would not consent to my returning to my room +at St. Sulpice for my purse. My finances were in truth wretchedly low, +and hers more than sufficiently enriched by the liberality of M. de +B—— to make her think lightly of my loss. We consulted together at +the Jew's as to the course we should now adopt. +</P> + +<P> +"In order to enhance the sacrifice she had made for me of her late +lover, she determined to treat him without the least ceremony. 'I +shall leave him all his furniture,' she said; 'it belongs to him: but I +shall assuredly carry off, as I have a right to do, the jewels, and +about sixty thousand francs, which I have had from him in the last two +years. I have given him no control over me,' she added, 'so that we +may remain without apprehension in Paris, taking a convenient house, +where we shall live, oh how happily together!' +</P> + +<P> +"I represented to her that, although there might be no danger for her, +there was a great deal for me, who must be sooner or later infallibly +recognised, and continually exposed to a repetition of the trials I had +before endured. She gave me to understand that she could not quit +Paris without regret. I had such a dread of giving her annoyance, that +there were no risks I would not have encountered for her sake. +However, we compromised matters by resolving to take a house in some +village near Paris, from whence it would be easy for us to come into +town whenever pleasure or business required it. We fixed on Chaillot, +which is at a convenient distance. Manon at once returned to her +house, and I went to wait for her at a side-gate of the garden of the +Tuileries. +</P> + +<P> +"She returned an hour after, in a hired carriage, with a servant-maid, +and several trunks, which contained her dresses, and everything she had +of value. +</P> + +<P> +"We were not long on our way to Chaillot. We lodged the first night at +the inn, in order to have time to find a suitable house, or at least a +commodious lodging. We found one to our taste the next morning. +</P> + +<P> +"My happiness now appeared to be secured beyond the reach of fate. +Manon was everything most sweet and amiable. She was so delicate and +so unceasing in her attentions to me, that I deemed myself but too +bountifully rewarded for all my past troubles. As we had both, by this +time, acquired some experience, we discussed rationally the state of +our finances. Sixty thousand francs (the amount of our wealth) was not +a sum that could be expected to last our whole life; besides, we were +neither of us much disposed to control our expenses. Manon's chief +virtue assuredly was not economy, any more than it was mine. This was +my proposition. 'Sixty thousand francs,' said I, 'may support us for +ten years. Two thousand crowns a year will suffice, if we continue to +live at Chaillot. We shall keep up appearances, but live frugally. Our +only expense will be occasionally a carriage, and the theatres. We +shall do everything in moderation. You like the opera; we shall go +twice a week, in the season. As for play, we shall limit ourselves; so +that our losses must never exceed three crowns. It is impossible but +that in the space of ten years some change must occur in my family: my +father is even now of an advanced age; he may die; in which event I +must inherit a fortune, and we shall then be above all other fears.' +</P> + +<P> +"This arrangement would not have been by any means the most silly act +of my life, if we had only been prudent enough to persevere in its +execution; but our resolutions hardly lasted longer than a month. +Manon's passion was for amusement; she was the only object of mine. +New temptations to expense constantly presented themselves, and far +from regretting the money which she sometimes prodigally lavished, I +was the first to procure for her everything likely to afford her +pleasure. Our residence at Chaillot began even to appear tiresome. +</P> + +<P> +"Winter was approaching, and the whole world returning to town; the +country had a deserted look. She proposed to me to take a house in +Paris. I did not approve of this; but, in order partly at least to +satisfy her, I said that we might hire furnished apartments, and that +we might sleep there whenever we were late in quitting the assembly, +whither we often went; for the inconvenience of returning so late to +Chaillot was her excuse for wishing to leave it. We had thus two +dwellings, one in town and the other in the country. This change soon +threw our affairs into confusion, and led to two adventures, which +eventually caused our ruin. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon had a brother in the Guards. He unfortunately lived in the very +street in which we had taken lodgings. He one day recognised his +sister at the window, and hastened over to us. He was a fellow of the +rudest manners, and without the slightest principle of honour. He +entered the room swearing in the most horrible way; and as he knew part +of his sister's history, he loaded her with abuse and reproaches. +</P> + +<P> +"I had gone out the moment before, which was doubtless fortunate for +either him or me, for I was little disposed to brook an insult. I only +returned to the lodgings after he had left them. The low spirits in +which I found Manon convinced me at once that something extraordinary +had occurred. She told me of the provoking scene she had just gone +through, and of the brutal threats of her brother. I felt such +indignation, that I wished to proceed at once to avenge her, when she +entreated me with tears to desist. +</P> + +<P> +"While we were still talking of the adventure, the guardsman again +entered the room in which we sat, without even waiting to be announced. +Had I known him, he should not have met from me as civil a reception as +he did; but saluting us with a smile upon his countenance, he addressed +himself to Manon, and said, he was come to make excuses for his +violence; that he had supposed her to be living a life of shame and +disgrace, and it was this notion that excited his rage; but having +since made enquiry from one of our servants, he had learned such a +character of me, that his only wish was now to be on terms with us both. +</P> + +<P> +"Although this admission, of having gone for information to one of my +own servants, had in it something ludicrous as well as indelicate, I +acknowledged his compliments with civility, I thought by doing so to +please Manon, and I was not deceived—she was delighted at the +reconciliation. We made him stay to dine with us. +</P> + +<P> +"In a little time he became so familiar, that hearing us speak of our +return to Chaillot, he insisted on accompanying us. We were obliged to +give him a seat in our carriage. This was in fact putting him into +possession, for he soon began to feel so much pleasure in our company, +that he made our house his home, and made himself in some measure +master of all that belonged to us. He called me his brother, and, +under the semblance of fraternal freedom, he put himself on such a +footing as to introduce all his friends without ceremony into our house +at Chaillot, and there entertain them at our expense. His magnificent +uniforms were procured of my tailor and charged to me, and he even +contrived to make Manon and me responsible for all his debts. I +pretended to be blind to this system of tyranny, rather than annoy +Manon, and even to take no notice of the sums of money which from time +to time he received from her. No doubt, as he played very deep, he was +honest enough to repay her a part sometimes, when luck turned in his +favour; but our finances were utterly inadequate to supply, for any +length of time, demands of such magnitude and frequency. +</P> + +<P> +"I was on the point of coming to an understanding with him, in order to +put an end to the system, when an unfortunate accident saved me that +trouble, by involving us in inextricable ruin. +</P> + +<P> +"One night we stopped in Paris to sleep, as it had now indeed become +our constant habit. The servant-maid who on such occasions remained +alone at Chaillot, came early the next morning to inform me that our +house had taken fire in the night, and that the flames had been +extinguished with great difficulty. I asked whether the furniture had +suffered. She answered, that there had been such confusion, owing to +the multitude of strangers who came to offer assistance, that she could +hardly ascertain what damage had been done. I was principally uneasy +about our money, which had been locked up in a little box. I went off +in haste to Chaillot. Vain hope! the box had disappeared! +</P> + +<P> +"I discovered that one could love money without being a miser. This +loss afflicted me to such a degree that I was almost out of my mind. I +saw at one glance to what new calamities I should be exposed: poverty +was the least of them. I knew Manon thoroughly; I had already had +abundant proof that, although faithful and attached to me under happier +circumstances, she could not be depended upon in want: pleasure and +plenty she loved too well to sacrifice them for my sake. 'I shall lose +her!' I cried; 'miserable chevalier! you are about then to lose all +that you love on earth!' This thought agitated me to such a degree +that I actually for some moments considered whether it would not be +best for me to end at once all my miseries by death. I however +preserved presence of mind enough to reflect whether I was entirely +without resource, and an idea occurred to me which quieted my despair. +It would not be impossible, I thought, to conceal our loss from Manon; +and I might perhaps discover some ways and means of supplying her, so +as to ward off the inconveniences of poverty. +</P> + +<P> +"I had calculated in endeavouring to comfort myself, that twenty +thousand crowns would support us for ten years. Suppose that these ten +years had now elapsed, and that none of the events which I had looked +for in my family had occurred. What then would have been my course? I +hardly know; but whatever I should then have done, why may I not do +now? How many are there in Paris, who have neither my talents, nor the +natural advantages I possess, and who, notwithstanding, owe their +support to the exercise of their talents, such as they are? +</P> + +<P> +"'Has not Providence,' I added, while reflecting on the different +conditions of life, 'arranged things wisely?' The greater number of +the powerful and the rich are fools. No one who knows anything of the +world can doubt that. How admirable is the compensating justice +thereof! If wealth brought with it talent also, the rich would be too +happy, and other men too wretched. To these latter are given personal +advantages and genius, to help them out of misery and want. Some of +them share the riches of the wealthy by administering to their +pleasures, or by making them their dupes; others afford them +instruction, and endeavour to make them decent members of society; to +be sure, they do not always succeed; but that was probably not the +intention of the divine wisdom. In every case they derive a benefit +from their labours by living at the expense of their pupils; and, in +whatever point of view it is considered, the follies of the rich are a +bountiful source of revenue to the humbler classes. +</P> + +<P> +"These thoughts restored me a little to my spirits and to my reason. I +determined first to consult M. Lescaut, the brother of Manon. He knew +Paris perfectly; and I had too many opportunities of learning that it +was neither from his own estates, nor from the king's pay, that he +derived the principal portion of his income. I had about thirty-three +crowns left, which I fortunately happened to have about me. I showed +him my purse, and explained to him my misfortune and my fears, and then +asked him whether I had any alternative between starvation and blowing +out my brains in despair. He coolly replied that suicide was the +resource of fools. As to dying of want, there were hundreds of men of +genius who found themselves reduced to that state when they would not +employ their talents; that it was for myself to discover what I was +capable of doing, and he told me to reckon upon his assistance and his +advice in any enterprise I might undertake. +</P> + +<P> +"'Vague enough, M. Lescaut!' said I to him: 'my wants demand a more +speedy remedy; for what am I to say to Manon?' 'Apropos of Manon,' +replied he, 'what is it that annoys you about her? Cannot you always +find in her wherewithal to meet your wants, when you wish it? Such a +person ought to support us all, you and me as well as herself.' He cut +short the answer which I was about to give to such unfeeling and brutal +impertinence, by going on to say, that before night he would ensure me +a thousand crowns to divide between us, if I would only follow his +advice; that he was acquainted with a nobleman, who was so liberal in +affairs of the kind, that he was certain he would not hesitate for a +moment to give the sum named for the favours of such a girl as Manon. +</P> + +<P> +"I stopped him. 'I had a better opinion of you,' said I; 'I had +imagined that your motive for bestowing your friendship upon me was +very different indeed from the one you now betray.' With the greatest +effrontery he acknowledged that he had been always of the same mind, +and that his sister having once sacrificed her virtue, though it might +be to the man she most loved, he would never have consented to a +reconciliation with her, but with the hope of deriving some advantage +from her past misconduct. +</P> + +<P> +"It was easy to see that we had been hitherto his dupes. +Notwithstanding the disgust with which his proposition inspired me, +still, as I felt that I had occasion for his services, I said, with +apparent complacency, that we ought only to entertain such a plan as a +last resource. I begged of him to suggest some other. +</P> + +<P> +"He proposed to me to turn my youth and the good looks nature had +bestowed upon me to some account, by establishing a liaison with some +generous old dame. This was just as little to my taste, for it would +necessarily have rendered me unfaithful to Manon. +</P> + +<P> +"I mentioned play as the easiest scheme, and the most suitable to my +present situation. He admitted that play certainly was a resource, but +that it was necessary to consider the point well. 'Mere play,' said he, +'with its ordinary chances, is the certain road to ruin; and as for +attempting, alone and without an ally, to employ the little means an +adroit man has for correcting the vagaries of luck, it would be too +dangerous an experiment.' There was, he stated, a third course, which +was to enter into what he called a partnership; but he feared his +confederates would consider my youth an objection to my admittance. +He, however, promised to use his influence with them; and, what was +more than I expected at his hands, he said that he would supply me with +a little money whenever I had pressing occasion for any. The only +favour I then asked of him was to say nothing to Manon of the loss I +had experienced, nor of the subject of our conversation. +</P> + +<P> +"I certainly derived little comfort from my visit to Lescaut; I felt +even sorry for having confided my secret to him: not a single thing had +he done for me that I might not just as well have done for myself, +without troubling him; and I could not help dreading that he would +violate his promise to keep the secret from Manon. I had also reason +to apprehend, from his late avowals, that he might form the design of +making use of her for his own vile purposes, or at least of advising +her to quit me for some happier and more wealthy lover. This idea +brought in its train a thousand reflections, which had no other effect +than to torment me, and throw me again into the state of despair in +which I had passed the morning. It occurred to me, more than once, to +write to my father; and to pretend a new reformation, in order to +obtain some pecuniary assistance from him; but I could not forget that, +notwithstanding all his natural love and affection for me, he had shut +me up for six months in a confined room for my first transgression; and +I was certain that, after the scandalous sensation caused by my flight +from St. Sulpice, he would be sure to treat me with infinitely more +rigour now. +</P> + +<P> +"At length, out of this chaos of fancies came an idea that all at once +restored ease to my mind, and which I was surprised at not having hit +upon sooner; this was, to go again to my friend Tiberge, in whom I +might be always sure of finding the same unfailing zeal and friendship. +There is nothing more glorious—nothing that does more honour to true +virtue, than the confidence with which one approaches a friend of tried +integrity; no apprehension, no risk of unkind repulse: if it be not +always in his power to afford the required succour, one is sure at +least of meeting kindness and compassion. The heart of the poor +supplicant, which remains impenetrably closed to the rest of the world, +opens in his presence, as a flower expands before the orb of day, from +which it instinctively knows it can derive a cheering and benign +influence only. +</P> + +<P> +"I consider it a blessing to have thought so apropos of Tiberge, and +resolved to take measures to find him before evening. I returned at +once to my lodgings to write him a line, and fix a convenient place for +our meeting. I requested secrecy and discretion, as the most important +service he could render me under present circumstances. +</P> + +<P> +"The pleasure I derived from the prospect of seeing Tiberge dissipated +every trace of melancholy, which Manon would not have failed otherwise +to detect in my countenance. I described our misfortune at Chaillot as +a trifle which ought not to annoy her; and Paris being the spot she +liked best in the world, she was not sorry to hear me say that it would +be necessary for us to remain there entirely, until the little damage +was repaired which had been caused by the fire at Chaillot. +</P> + +<P> +"In an hour I received an answer from Tiberge, who promised to be at +the appointed rendezvous. I went there punctually. I certainly felt +some shame at encountering a friend whose presence alone ought to be a +reproach to my iniquities; but I was supported by the opinion I had of +the goodness of his heart, as well as by my anxiety about Manon. +</P> + +<P> +"I had begged of him to meet me in the garden of the Palais Royal. He +was there before me. He hastened towards me, the moment he saw me +approach and shook me warmly by both hands. I said that I could not +help feeling perfectly ashamed to meet him, and that I was weighed down +by a sense of my ingratitude; that the first thing I implored of him +was to tell me whether I might still consider him my friend, after +having so justly incurred the loss of his esteem and affection. He +replied, in the kindest possible manner, that it was not in the nature +of things to destroy his regard for me; that my misfortunes even, or, +if he might so call them, my faults and transgressions, had but +increased the interest he felt for me; but that he must confess his +affection was not unalloyed by a sentiment of the liveliest sorrow, +such as a person may be supposed to feel at seeing a beloved object on +the brink of ruin, and beyond the reach of his assistance. +</P> + +<P> +"We sat down upon a bench. 'Alas!' said I with a deep sigh, 'your +compassion must be indeed great, my dear Tiberge, if you assure me it +is equal to my sufferings. I am almost ashamed to recount them, for I +confess they have been brought on by no very creditable course of +conduct: the results, however, are so truly melancholy, that a friend +even less attached than you would be affected by the recital.' +</P> + +<P> +"He then begged of me, in proof of friendship, to let him know, without +any disguise, all that had occurred to me since my departure from St. +Sulpice. I gratified him; and so far from concealing anything, or +attempting to extenuate my faults, I spoke of my passion with all the +ardour with which it still inspired me. I represented it to him as one +of those especial visitations of fate, which draw on the devoted victim +to his ruin, and which it is as impossible for virtue itself to resist, +as for human wisdom to foresee. I painted to him in the most vivid +colours, my excitement, my fears, the state of despair in which I had +been two hours before I saw him, and into which I should be again +plunged, if I found my friends as relentless as fate had been. I at +length made such an impression upon poor Tiberge, that I saw he was as +much affected by compassion, as I by the recollection of my sufferings. +</P> + +<P> +"He took my hand, and exhorted me to have courage and be comforted; +but, as he seemed to consider it settled that Manon and I were to +separate, I gave him at once to understand that it was that very +separation I considered as the most intolerable of all my misfortunes; +and that I was ready to endure not only the last degree of misery, but +death itself, of the cruellest kind, rather than seek relief in a +remedy worse than the whole accumulation of my woes. +</P> + +<P> +"'Explain yourself, then,' said he to me; 'what assistance can I afford +you, if you reject everything I propose?' I had not courage to tell +him that it was from his purse I wanted relief. He, however, +comprehended it in the end; and acknowledging that he believed he now +understood me, he remained for a moment in an attitude of thought, with +the air of a person revolving something in his mind. 'Do not imagine,' +he presently said, 'that my hesitation arises from any diminution of my +zeal and friendship; but to what an alternative do you now reduce me, +since I must either refuse you the assistance you ask, or violate my +most sacred duty in affording it! For is it not participating in your +sin to furnish you with the means of continuing its indulgence?' +</P> + +<P> +"'However,' continued he, after a moment's thought, 'it is perhaps the +excited state into which want has thrown you, that denies you now the +liberty of choosing the proper path. Man's mind must be at rest, to +know the luxury of wisdom and virtue. I can afford to let you have +some money; and permit me, my dear chevalier, to impose but one +condition; that is, that you let me know the place of your abode, and +allow me the opportunity of using my exertions to reclaim you. I know +that there is in your heart a love of virtue, and that you have been +only led astray by the violence of your passions.' +</P> + +<P> +"I, of course, agreed to everything he asked, and only begged of him to +deplore the malign destiny which rendered me callous to the counsels of +so virtuous a friend. He then took me to a banker of his acquaintance, +who gave one hundred and seventy crowns for his note of hand, which was +taken as cash. I have already said that he was not rich. His living +was worth about six thousand francs a year, but as this was the first +year since his induction, he had as yet touched none of the receipts, +and it was out of the future income that he made me this advance. +</P> + +<P> +"I felt the full force of his generosity, even to such a degree as +almost to deplore the fatal passion which thus led me to break through +all the restraints of duty. Virtue had for a moment the ascendancy in +my heart, and made me sensible of my shame and degradation. But this +was soon over. For Manon I could have given up my hopes of heaven, and +when I again found myself at her side, I wondered how I could for an +instant have considered myself degraded by my passion for this +enchanting girl. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon was a creature of most extraordinary disposition. Never had +mortal a greater contempt for money, and yet she was haunted by +perpetual dread of wanting it. Her only desire was for pleasure and +amusement. She would never have wished to possess a sou, if pleasure +could be procured without money. She never even cared what our purse +contained, provided she could pass the day agreeably; so that, being +neither fond of play nor at all dazzled by the desire of great wealth, +nothing was more easy than to satisfy her, by daily finding out +amusements suited to her moderate wishes. But it became by habit a +thing so absolutely necessary for her to have her mind thus occupied, +that, without it, it was impossible to exercise the smallest influence +over her temper or inclinations. Although she loved me tenderly, and I +was the only person, as she often declared, in whose society she could +ever find the pure enjoyments of love, yet I felt thoroughly convinced +that her attachment could not withstand certain apprehensions. She +would have preferred me, even with a moderate fortune, to the whole +world; but I had no kind of doubt that she would, on the other hand, +abandon me for some new M. de B——, when I had nothing more to offer +her than fidelity and love. +</P> + +<P> +"I resolved therefore so to curtail my own individual expenses, as to +be able always to meet hers, and rather to deprive myself of a thousand +necessaries than even to limit her extravagance. The carriage made me +more uneasy than anything else, for I saw no chance of being able to +maintain either coachman or horses. +</P> + +<P> +"I told M. Lescaut of my difficulties, and did not conceal from him +that I had received a thousand francs from a friend. He repeated, that +if I wished to try the chances of the gaming-table, he was not without +hopes that, by spending a few crowns in entertaining his associates, I +might be, on his recommendation, admitted into the association. With +all my repugnance to cheating, I yielded to dire necessity. +</P> + +<P> +"Lescaut presented me that night as a relation of his own. He added, +that I was the more likely to succeed in my new profession, from +wanting the favours of fortune. However, to show them that I was not +quite reduced to the lowest ebb, he said it was my intention to treat +them with a supper. The offer was accepted, and I entertained them en +prince. They talked a good deal about my fashionable appearance and +the apparent amiability of my disposition; they said that the best +hopes might be entertained of me, because there was something in my +countenance that bespoke the gentleman, and no one therefore could have +a suspicion of my honesty: they voted thanks to Lescaut for having +introduced so promising a novice, and deputed one of the members to +instruct me for some days in the necessary manoeuvres. +</P> + +<P> +"The principal scene of my exploits was the hotel of Transylvania, +where there was a faro table in one room, and other games of cards and +dice in the gallery. This academy was kept by the Prince of R——, who +then lived at Clagny, and most of his officers belonged to our society. +Shall I mention it to my shame? I profited quickly by my instructor's +tuition. I acquired an amazing facility in sleight of hand tricks, and +learned in perfection to sauter le coup; with the help of a pair of +long ruffles, I shuffled so adroitly as to defy the quickest observer, +and I ruined several fair players. My unrivalled skill so quickened +the progress of my fortunes, that I found myself master, in a few +weeks, of very considerable sums, besides what I divided in good faith +with my companions. +</P> + +<P> +"I had no longer any fear of communicating to Manon the extent of our +loss at Chaillot, and, to console her on the announcement of such +disastrous news, I took a furnished house, where we established +ourselves in all the pride of opulence and security. +</P> + +<P> +"Tiberge was in the habit, at this period, of paying me frequent +visits. He was never tired of his moral lectures. Over and over again +did he represent to me the injury I was inflicting upon my conscience, +my honour, and my fortune. I received all his advice kindly, and +although I had not the smallest inclination to adopt it, I had no doubt +of its sincerity, for I knew its source. Sometimes I rallied him +good-humouredly, and entreated him not to be more tight-laced than some +other priests were, and even bishops, who by no means considered a +mistress incompatible with a good and holy life.' 'Look,' I said, 'at +Manon's eyes, and tell me if there is one in the long catalogue of sins +that might not there find a plea of justification.' He bore these +sallies patiently, and carried his forbearance almost too far: but when +he saw my funds increase, and that I had not only returned him the +hundred and seventy crowns, but having hired a new house and trebled my +expenses, I had plunged deeper than ever into a life of pleasure, he +changed his tone and manner towards me. He lamented my obduracy. He +warned me against the chastisement of the Divine wrath, and predicted +some of the miseries with which indeed I was shortly afterwards +visited. 'It is impossible,' he said, 'that the money which now serves +to support your debaucheries can have been acquired honourably. You +have come by it unjustly, and in the same way shall it be taken from +you. The most awful punishment Heaven could inflict would be to allow +you the undisturbed enjoyment of it. All my advice,' he added, 'has +been useless; I too plainly perceive that it will shortly become +troublesome to you. I now take my leave; you are a weak, as well as an +ungrateful friend! May your criminal enjoyments vanish as a shadow! +may your ill-gotten wealth leave you without a resource; and may you +yourself remain alone and deserted, to learn the vanity of these +things, which now divert you from better pursuits! When that time +arrives, you will find me disposed to love and to serve you; this day +ends our intercourse, and I once for all avow my horror of the life you +are leading.' +</P> + +<P> +"It was in my room and in Manon's presence that he delivered this +apostolical harangue. He rose to depart. I was about to detain him; +but was prevented by Manon, who said it was better to let the madman go. +</P> + +<P> +"What he said, however, did not fail to make some impression upon me. +I notice these brief passages of my life when I experienced a returning +sentiment of virtue, because it was to those traces, however light, +that I was afterwards indebted for whatever of fortitude I displayed +under the most trying circumstances. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon's caresses soon dissipated the annoyance this scene had caused +me. We continued to lead a life entirely devoted to pleasure and love. +The increase of our wealth only redoubled our affection. There were none +happier among all the devotees of Venus and Fortune. Heavens! why call +this a world of misery, when it can furnish a life of such rapturous +enjoyment? But alas, it is too soon over! For what ought man to sigh, +could such felicity but last for ever? Ours shared the common fate—in +being of short duration, and followed by lasting regrets. +</P> + +<P> +"I had realised by play such a considerable sum of money, that I +thought of investing a portion of it. My servants were not ignorant of +my good luck, particularly my valet and Manon's own maid, before whom +we often talked without any reserve. The maid was handsome, and my +valet in love with her. They knew they had to deal with a young and +inexperienced couple, whom they fancied they could impose upon without +much difficulty. They laid a plan, and executed it with so much skill, +that they reduced us to a state from which it was never afterwards +possible for us to extricate ourselves. +</P> + +<P> +"Having supped one evening at Lescaut's, it was about midnight when we +returned home. I asked for my valet, and Manon for her maid; neither +one nor the other could be found. They had not been seen in the house +since eight o'clock, and had gone out, after having some cases carried +before them, according to orders which they pretended to have received +from me. I at once foresaw a part of the truth, but my suspicions were +infinitely surpassed by what presented itself on going into my room. +The lock of my closet had been forced, and my cash as well as my best +clothes were gone. While I stood stupefied with amazement, Manon came, +in the greatest alarm, to inform me that her apartment had been rifled +in the same manner. +</P> + +<P> +"This blow was so perfectly astounding, so cruel, that it was with +difficulty I could refrain from tears. The dread of infecting Manon +with my despair made me assume a more contented air. I said, smiling, +that I should avenge myself upon some unhappy dupe at the hotel of +Transylvania. However, she appeared so sensibly affected, that her +grief increased my sorrow infinitely more than my attempt succeeded in +supporting her spirits. 'We are destroyed!' said she, with tears in +her eyes. I endeavoured, in vain, by my entreaties and caresses, to +console her. My own lamentations betrayed my distress and despair. In +fact, we were so completely ruined, that we were bereft almost of +decent covering. +</P> + +<P> +"I determined to send off at once for Lescaut. He advised me to go +immediately to the lieutenant of police, and to give information also +to the Grand Provost of Paris. I went, but it was to add to my +calamities only; for, independently of my visit producing not the +smallest good effect, I, by my absence, allowed Lescaut time for +discussion with his sister, during which he did not fail to inspire her +with the most horrible resolutions. He spoke to her about M. G—— +M——, an old voluptuary, who paid prodigally for his pleasures; he so +glowingly described the advantages of such a connection, that she +entered into all his plans. This discreditable arrangement was all +concluded before my return, and the execution of it only postponed till +the next morning, after Lescaut should have apprised G—— M——. +</P> + +<P> +"I found him, on my return, waiting for me at my house; but Manon had +retired to her own apartment, and she had desired the footman to tell +me that, having need of repose, she hoped she should not be disturbed +that night. Lescaut left me, after offering me a few crowns which I +accepted. +</P> + +<P> +"It was nearly four o'clock when I retired to bed; and having revolved +in my mind various schemes for retrieving my fortunes, I fell asleep so +late that I did not awake till between eleven and twelve o'clock. I +rose at once to enquire after Manon's health; they told me that she had +gone out an hour before with her brother, who had come for her in a +hired carriage. Although there appeared something mysterious in such a +proceeding, I endeavoured to check my rising suspicions. I allowed +some hours to pass, during which I amused myself with reading. At +length, being unable any longer to stifle my uneasiness, I paced up and +down the apartments. A sealed letter upon Manon's table at last caught +my eye. It was addressed to me, and in her handwriting. I felt my +blood freeze as I opened it; it was in these words: +</P> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="letter"> +I protest to you, dearest chevalier, that you are the idol of my heart, +and that you are the only being on earth whom I can truly love; but do +you not see, my own poor dear chevalier, that in the situation to which +we are now reduced, fidelity would be worse than madness? Do you think +tenderness possibly compatible with starvation? For my part, hunger +would be sure to drive me to some fatal end. Heaving some day a sigh +for love, I should find it was my last. I adore you, rely upon that; +but leave to me, for a short while, the management of our fortunes. +God help the man who falls into my hands. My only wish is to render my +chevalier rich and happy. My brother will tell you about me; he can +vouch for my grief in yielding to the necessity of parting from you. +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"I remained, after reading this, in a state which it would be difficult +to describe; for even now I know not the nature of the feelings which +then agitated me. It was one of those unique situations of which +others can never have experienced anything even approaching to +similarity. It is impossible to explain it, because other persons can +have no idea of its nature; and one can hardly even analyse it to +oneself. Memory furnishes nothing that will connect it with the past, +and therefore ordinary language is inadequate to describe it. Whatever +was its nature, however, it is certain that grief, hate, jealousy, and +shame entered into its composition. Fortunate would it have proved for +me if love also had not been a component part! +</P> + +<P> +"'That she loves me,' I exclaimed, 'I can believe; but could she, +without being a monster, hate me? What right can man ever have to +woman's affections which I had not to Manon's? What is left to me, +after all the sacrifices I have made for her sake? Yet she abandons me, +and the ungrateful creature thinks to screen herself from my reproaches +by professions of love! She pretends to dread starvation! God of +love, what grossness of sentiment! What an answer to the refinement of +my adoration! I had no dread of that kind; I, who have almost sought +starvation for her sake, by renouncing fortune and the comforts of my +father's house! I, who denied myself actual necessaries, in order to +gratify her little whims and caprices! She adores me, she says. If +you adored me, ungrateful creature, I well know what course you would +have taken; you would never have quitted me, at least without saying +adieu. It is only I who can tell the pangs and torments, of being +separated from all one loves. I must have taken leave of my senses, to +have voluntarily brought all this misery upon myself.' +</P> + +<P> +"My lamentations were interrupted by a visit I little expected; it was +from Lescaut. 'Assassin!' cried I, putting my hand upon my sword, +'where is Manon? what have you done with her?' My agitation startled +him. He replied, that if this was the reception he was to meet, when +he came to offer me the most essential service it was in his power to +render me, he should take his leave, and never again cross my +threshold. I ran to the door of the apartment, which I shut. 'Do not +imagine,' I said, turning towards him, 'that you can once more make a +dupe of me with your lies and inventions. Either defend your life, or +tell me where I can find Manon.' 'How impatient you are!' replied he; +'that was in reality the object of my visit. I came to announce a +piece of good fortune which you little expected, and for which you will +probably feel somewhat grateful.' My curiosity was at once excited. +</P> + +<P> +"He informed me that Manon, totally unable to endure the dread of want, +and, above all, the certainty of being at once obliged to dispense with +her equipage, had begged of him to make her acquainted with M. G—— +M——, who had a character for liberality. He carefully avoided +telling me that this was the result of his own advice, and that he had +prepared the way before he introduced his sister. 'I took her there +this morning,' said he, 'and the fellow was so enchanted with her looks +that he at once invited her to accompany him to his country seat, where +he is gone to pass some days. As I plainly perceived,' said Lescaut, +'the advantage it may be to you, I took care to let him know that she +had lately experienced very considerable losses; and I so piqued his +generosity that he began by giving her four hundred crowns. I told him +that was well enough for a commencement, but that my sister would have, +for the future, many demands for money; that she had the charge of a +young brother, who had been thrown upon her hands since the death of +our parents; and that, if he wished to prove himself worthy of her +affections, he would not allow her to suffer uneasiness upon account of +this child, whom she regarded as part of herself. This speech produced +its effect, he at once promised to take a house for you and Manon, for +you must know that you are the poor little orphan. He undertook to set +you up in furniture, and to give you four hundred livres a month, which +if I calculate rightly, will amount to four thousand eight hundred per +annum. He left orders with his steward to look out for a house, and to +have it in readiness by the time he returned. You will soon, +therefore, again see Manon, who begged of me to give you a thousand +tender messages, and to assure you that she loves you more dearly than +ever.'" +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap05"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +V +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + Infected with that leprosy of lust,<BR> + Which taints the hoariest years of vicious men<BR> + Making them ransack to the very last<BR> + The dregs of pleasure for their vanished joys.<BR> + BYRON.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"On sitting down to reflect upon this strange turn of fate, I found +myself so perplexed, and consequently so incapable of arriving at any +rational conclusion, that I allowed Lescaut to put repeated questions +to me without in the slightest degree attending to their purport. It +was then that honour and virtue made me feel the most poignant remorse, +and that I recalled with bitterness Amiens, my father's house, St. +Sulpice, and every spot where I had ever lived in happy innocence. By +what a terrific interval was I now separated from that blessed state! +I beheld it no longer but as a dim shadow in the distance, still +attracting my regrets and desires, but without the power of rousing me +to exertion. 'By what fatality,' said I, 'have I become thus degraded? +Love is not a guilty passion! why then has it been to me the source of +profligacy and distress? Who prevented me from leading a virtuous and +tranquil life with Manon? Why did I not marry her before I obtained +any concession from her love? Would not my father, who had the +tenderest regard for me, have given his consent, if I had taken the +fair and candid course of soliciting him? Yes, my father would himself +have cherished her as one far too good to be his son's wife! I should +have been happy in the love of Manon, in the affection of my father, in +the esteem of the world, with a moderate portion of the good things of +life, and above all with the consciousness of virtue. Disastrous +change! Into what an infamous character is it here proposed that I +should sink? To share—— But can I hesitate, if Manon herself +suggests it, and if I am to lose her except upon such conditions? +'Lescaut,' said I, putting my hands to my eyes as if to shut out such a +horrifying vision, 'if your intention was to render me a service, I +give you thanks. You might perhaps have struck out a more reputable +course, but it is so settled, is it not? Let us then only think of +profiting by your labour, and fulfilling your engagements.' +</P> + +<P> +"Lescaut, who had been considerably embarrassed, not only by my fury, +but by the long silence which followed it, was too happy to see me now +take a course so different from what he had anticipated. He had not a +particle of courage, of which indeed I have, in the sequel of my story, +abundant proof. 'Yes, yes,' he quickly answered, 'it is good service I +have rendered you, and you will find that we shall derive infinitely +more advantage from it than you now expect.' We consulted then as to +the best mode of preventing the suspicions which G—— M—— might +entertain of our relationship, when he found me older and of riper +manhood than he probably imagined. The only plan we could hit upon was +to assume in his presence an innocent and provincial air, and to +persuade him that it was my intention to enter the Church, and that +with that view I was obliged to go every day to the college. We also +determined that I should appear as awkward as I possibly could the +first time I was admitted to the honour of an introduction. +</P> + +<P> +"He returned to town three or four days after, and at once conducted +Manon to the house which his steward had in the meantime prepared. She +immediately apprised Lescaut of her return, and he having informed me, +we went together to her new abode. The old lover had already gone out. +</P> + +<P> +"In spite of the submission with which I had resigned myself to her +wishes, I could not, at our meeting, repress the compunctious visitings +of my conscience. I appeared before her grieved and dejected. The joy +I felt at seeing her once more could not altogether dispel my sorrow +for her infidelity: she, on the contrary, appeared transported with the +pleasure of seeing me. She accused me of coldness. I could not help +muttering the words perfidious and unfaithful, though they were +profusely mixed with sighs. +</P> + +<P> +"At first she laughed at me for my simplicity; but when she found that +I continued to look at her with an unchanging expression of melancholy, +and that I could not bring myself to enter with alacrity into a scene +so repugnant to all my feelings, she went alone into her boudoir. I +very soon followed her, and then I found her in a flood of tears. I +asked the cause of her sorrow. 'You can easily understand it,' said +she; 'how can you wish me to live, if my presence can no longer have +any other effect than to give you an air of sadness and chagrin? Not +one kiss have you given me during the long hour you have been in the +house, while you have received my caresses with the dignified +indifference of a Grand Turk, receiving the forced homage of the +Sultanas of his harem.' +</P> + +<P> +"'Hearken to me, Manon,' said I, embracing her; 'I cannot conceal from +you that my heart is bitterly afflicted. I do not now allude to the +uneasiness your sudden flight caused me, nor to the unkindness of +quitting me without a word of consolation, after having passed the +night away from me. The pleasure of seeing you again would more than +compensate for all; but do you imagine that I can reflect without sighs +and tears upon the degrading and unhappy life which you now wish me to +lead in this house? Say nothing of my birth, or of my feelings of +honour; love like mine derives no aid from arguments of that feeble +nature; but do you imagine that I can without emotion see my love so +badly recompensed, or rather so cruelly treated, by an ungrateful and +unfeeling mistress?' +</P> + +<P> +"She interrupted me. 'Stop, chevalier,' said she, 'it is useless to +torture me with reproaches, which, coming from you, always pierce my +heart. I see what annoys you. I had hoped that you would have agreed +to the project which I had devised for mending our shattered fortunes, +and it was from a feeling of delicacy to you that I began the execution +of it without your assistance; but I give it up since it does not meet +your approbation.' She added that she would now merely request a +little patient forbearance during the remainder of the day; that she +had already received five hundred crowns from the old gentleman, and +that he had promised to bring her that evening a magnificent pearl +necklace with other jewels, and, in advance, half of the yearly pension +he had engaged to allow her. 'Leave me only time enough,' said she to +me, to get possession of these presents; I promise you that he will +have little to boast of from his connection with me, for in the country +I repulsed all his advances, putting him off till our return to town. +It is true that he has kissed my hand a thousand times over, and it is +but just that he should pay for even this amusement: I am sure that, +considering his riches as well as his age, five or six thousand francs +is not an unreasonable price!' +</P> + +<P> +"Her determination was of more value in my eyes than twenty thousand +crowns. I could feel that I was not yet bereft of every sentiment of +honour, by the satisfaction I experienced at escaping thus from infamy. +But I was born for brief joys, and miseries of long duration. Fate +never rescued me from one precipice, but to lead me to another. When I +had expressed my delight to Manon at this change in her intentions, I +told her she had better inform Lescaut of it, in order that we might +take our measures in concert. At first he murmured, but the money in +hand induced him to enter into our views. It was then determined that +we should all meet at G—— M——'s supper table, and that, for two +reasons: first, for the amusement of passing me off as a schoolboy, and +brother to Manon; and secondly, to prevent the old profligate from +taking any liberties with his mistress, on the strength of his liberal +payments in advance. Lescaut and I were to retire, when he went to the +room where he expected to pass the night; and Manon, instead of +following him, promised to come out, and join us. Lescaut undertook to +have a coach waiting at the door. +</P> + +<P> +"The supper hour having arrived, M. G—— M—— made his appearance. +Already Lescaut was with his sister in the supper room. The moment the +lover entered, he presented his fair one with a complete set of pearls, +necklaces, ear-rings, and bracelets, which must have cost at least a +thousand crowns. He then placed on the table before her, in louis +d'or, two thousand four hundred francs, the half of her year's +allowance. He seasoned his present with many pretty speeches in the +true style of the old court. Manon could not refuse him a few kisses: +it was sealing her right to the money which he had just handed to her. +I was at the door, and waiting for Lescaut's signal to enter the room. +</P> + +<P> +"He approached to take me by the hand, while Manon was securing the +money and jewels, and leading me towards M. G—— M——, he desired me +to make my bow. I made two or three most profound ones. 'Pray excuse +him, sir,' said Lescaut, 'he is a mere child. He has not yet acquired +much of the ton of Paris; but no doubt with a little trouble we shall +improve him. You will often have the honour of seeing that gentleman, +here,' said he, turning towards me: 'take advantage of it, and +endeavour to imitate so good a model.' +</P> + +<P> +"The old libertine appeared to be pleased with me. He patted me on the +cheek, saying that I was a fine boy, but that I should be on my guard +in Paris, where young men were easily debauched. Lescaut assured him +that I was naturally of so grave a character that I thought of nothing +but becoming a clergyman, and that, even as a child, my favourite +amusement was building little chapels. 'I fancy a likeness to Manon,' +said the old gentleman, putting his hand under my chin. I answered +him, with the most simple air— 'Sir, the fact is, that we are very +closely connected, and I love my sister as another portion of myself.' +'Do you hear that,' said he to Lescaut; 'he is indeed a clever boy! It +is a pity he should not see something of the world.' 'Oh, sir,' I +replied, 'I have seen a great deal of it at home, attending church, and +I believe I might find in Paris some greater fools than myself.' +'Listen,' said he; 'it is positively wonderful in a boy from the +country.' +</P> + +<P> +"The whole conversation during supper was of the same kind. Manon, with +her usual gaiety, was several times on the point of spoiling the joke +by her bursts of laughter. I contrived, while eating, to recount his +own identical history, and to paint even the fate that awaited him. +Lescaut and Manon were in an agony of fear during my recital, +especially while I was drawing his portrait to the life: but his own +vanity prevented him from recognising it, and I did it so well that he +was the first to pronounce it extremely laughable. You will allow that +I had reason for dwelling on this ridiculous scene. +</P> + +<P> +"At length it was time to retire. He hinted at the impatience of love. +Lescaut and I took our departure. G—— M—— went to his room, and +Manon, making some excuse for her absence, came to join us at the gate. +The coach, that was waiting for us a few doors off, drove up towards +us, and we were out of the street in an instant. +</P> + +<P> +"Although I must confess that this proceeding appeared to me little +short of actual robbery, it was not the most dishonest one with which I +thought I had to reproach myself. I had more scruples about the money +which I had won at play. However, we derived as little advantage from +one as from the other; and Heaven sometimes ordains that the lightest +fault shall meet the severest punishment. +</P> + +<P> +"M. G—— M—— was not long in finding out that he had been duped. I +am not sure whether he took any steps that night to discover us, but he +had influence enough to ensure an effectual pursuit, and we were +sufficiently imprudent to rely upon the extent of Paris and the +distance between our residence and his. Not only did he discover our +abode and our circumstances, but also who I was—the life that I had +led in Paris—Manon's former connection with B——,—the manner in +which she had deceived him: in a word, all the scandalous facts of our +history. He therefore resolved to have us apprehended, and treated +less as criminals than as vagabonds. An officer came abruptly one +morning into our bedroom, with half a dozen archers of the guard. They +first took possession of our money, or I should rather say, of +G——M——'s. They made us quickly get up, and conducted us to the +door, where we found two coaches, into one of which they forced poor +Manon, without any explanation, and I was taken in the other to St. +Lazare. +</P> + +<P> +"One must have experienced this kind of reverse, to understand the +despair that is caused by it. The police were savage enough to deny me +the consolation of embracing Manon, or of bidding her farewell. I +remained for a long time ignorant of her fate. It was perhaps +fortunate for me that I was kept in a state of ignorance, for had I +known what she suffered, I should have lost my senses, probably my life. +</P> + +<P> +"My unhappy mistress was dragged then from my presence, and taken to a +place the very name of which fills me with horror to remember. This to +be the lot of a creature the most perfect, who must have shared the +most splendid throne on earth, if other men had only seen and felt as I +did! She was not treated harshly there, but was shut up in a narrow +prison, and obliged, in solitary confinement, to perform a certain +quantity of work each day, as a necessary condition for obtaining the +most unpalatable food. I did not learn this till a long time after, +when I had myself endured some months of rough and cruel treatment. +</P> + +<P> +"My guards not having told me where it was that they had been ordered +to conduct me, it was only on my arrival at St. Lazare that I learned +my destination. I would have preferred death, at that moment, to the +state into which I believed myself about to be thrown. I had the +utmost terror of this place. My misery was increased by the guards on +my entrance, examining once more my pockets, to ascertain whether I had +about me any arms or weapons of defence. +</P> + +<P> +"The governor appeared. He had been informed of my apprehension. He +saluted me with great mildness. 'Do not, my good sir,' said I to him, +'allow me to be treated with indignity. I would suffer a hundred deaths +rather than quietly submit to degrading treatment.' 'No, no,' he +replied, 'you will act quietly and prudently, and we shall be mutually +content with each other.' He begged of me to ascend to one of the +highest rooms; I followed him without a murmur. The archers +accompanied us to the door, and the governor, entering the room, made a +sign for them to depart. 'I am your prisoner, I suppose?' said I; +'well, what do you intend to do with me?' He said, he was delighted to +see me adopt so reasonable a tone; that it would be his duty to +endeavour to inspire me with a taste for virtue and religion, and mine +to profit by his exhortations and advice: that lightly as I might be +disposed to rate his attentions to me, I should find nothing but +enjoyment in my solitude. 'Ah, enjoyment, indeed!' replied I; 'you do +not know, my good sir, the only thing on earth that could afford me +enjoyment.' 'I know it,' said he, 'but I trust your inclinations will +change.' His answer showed that he had heard of my adventures, and +perhaps of my name. I begged to know if such were the fact. He told +me candidly that they had informed him of every particular. +</P> + +<P> +"This blow was the severest of any I had yet experienced. I literally +shed a torrent of tears, in all the bitterness of unmixed despair; I +could not reconcile myself to the humiliation which would make me a +proverb to all my acquaintances, and the disgrace of my family. I +passed a week in the most profound dejection, without being capable of +gaining any information, or of occupying myself with anything but my +own degradation. The remembrance even of Manon added nothing to my +grief; it only occurred to me as a circumstance that had preceded my +new sorrow; and the sense of shame and confusion was at present the +all-absorbing passion. +</P> + +<P> +"There are few persons who have experienced the force of these special +workings of the mind. The generality of men are only sensible of five +or six passions, in the limited round of which they pass their lives, +and within which all their agitations are confined. Remove them from +the influence of love and hate, pleasure and pain, hope and fear, and +they have no further feeling. But persons of a finer cast can be +affected in a thousand different ways; it would almost seem that they +had more than five senses, and that they are accessible to ideas and +sensations which far exceed the ordinary faculties of human nature; +and, conscious that they possess a capacity which raises them above the +common herd, there is nothing of which they are more jealous. Hence +springs their impatience under contempt and ridicule; and hence it is +that a sense of debasement is perhaps the most violent of all their +emotions. +</P> + +<P> +"I had this melancholy advantage at St. Lazare. My grief appeared to +the governor so excessive, that, dreading the consequences, he thought +he was bound to treat me with more mildness and indulgence. He visited +me two or three times a day; he often made me take a turn with him in +the garden, and showed his interest for me in his exhortations and good +advice. I listened always attentively; and warmly expressed my sense +of his kindness, from which he derived hopes of my ultimate conversion. +</P> + +<P> +"'You appear to me,' said he one day, 'of a disposition so mild and +tractable, that I cannot comprehend the excesses into which you have +fallen. Two things astonish me: one is, how, with your good qualities, +you could have ever abandoned yourself to vice; and the other, which +amazes me still more, is, how you can receive with such perfect temper +my advice and instructions, after having lived so long in a course of +debauchery. If it be sincere repentance, you present a singular +example of the benign mercy of Heaven; if it proceed from the natural +goodness of your disposition, then you certainly have that within you +which warrants the hope that a protracted residence in this place will +not be required to bring you back to a regular and respectable life.' +</P> + +<P> +"I was delighted to find that he had such an opinion of me. I resolved +to strengthen it by a continuance of good conduct, convinced that it +was the surest means of abridging the term of my confinement. I begged +of him to furnish me with books. He was agreeably surprised to find +that when he requested me to say what I should prefer, I mentioned only +some religious and instructive works. I pretended to devote myself +assiduously to study, and I thus gave him convincing proof of the moral +reformation he was so anxious to bring about. It was nothing, however, +but rank hypocrisy—I blush to confess it. Instead of studying, when +alone I did nothing but curse my destiny. I lavished the bitterest +execrations on my prison, and the tyrants who detained me there. If I +ceased for a moment from these lamentations, it was only to relapse +into the tormenting remembrance of my fatal and unhappy love. Manon's +absence—the mystery in which her fate was veiled—the dread of never +again beholding her; these formed the subject of my melancholy +thoughts. I fancied her in the arms of G—— M——. Far from +imagining that he could have been brute enough to subject her to the +same treatment to which I was condemned, I felt persuaded that he had +only procured my removal, in order that he might possess her in +undisturbed enjoyment. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh! how miserable were the days and nights I thus passed! They seemed +to be of endless duration. My only hope of escape now, was in +hypocrisy; I scrutinised the countenance, and carefully marked every +observation that fell from the governor, in order to ascertain what he +really thought of me; and looking on him as the sole arbiter of my +future fate, I made it my study to win, if possible, his favour. I +soon had the satisfaction to find that I was firmly established in his +good graces, and no longer doubted his disposition to befriend me. +</P> + +<P> +"I, one day, ventured to ask him whether my liberation depended on him. +He replied that it was not altogether in his hands, but that he had no +doubt that on his representation M. G—— M——, at whose instance the +lieutenant-general of police had ordered me to be confined, would +consent to my being set at liberty. 'May I flatter myself,' rejoined +I, in the mildest tone, 'that he will consider two months, which I have +now spent in this prison, as a sufficient atonement?' He offered to +speak to him, if I wished it. I implored him without delay to do me +that favour. +</P> + +<P> +"He told me two days afterwards that G—— M—— was so sensibly +affected by what he had heard, that he not only was ready to consent to +my liberation, but that he had even expressed a strong desire to become +better acquainted with me, and that he himself purposed to pay me a +visit in prison. Although his presence could not afford me much +pleasure, I looked upon it as a certain prelude to my liberation. +</P> + +<P> +"He accordingly came to St. Lazare. I met him with an air more grave +and certainly less silly than I had exhibited at his house with Manon. +He spoke reasonably enough of my former bad conduct. He added, as if to +excuse his own delinquencies, that it was graciously permitted to the +weakness of man to indulge in certain pleasures, almost, indeed, +prompted by nature, but that dishonesty and such shameful practices +ought to be, and always would be, inexorably punished. +</P> + +<P> +"I listened to all he said with an air of submission, which quite +charmed him. I betrayed no symptoms of annoyance even at some jokes in +which he indulged about my relationship with Manon and Lescaut, and +about the little chapels of which he supposed I must have had time to +erect a great many in St. Lazare, as I was so fond of that occupation. +But he happened, unluckily both for me and for himself, to add, that he +hoped Manon had also employed herself in the same edifying manner at +the Magdalen. Notwithstanding the thrill of horror I felt at the sound +of the name, I had still presence of mind enough to beg, in the +gentlest manner, that he would explain himself. 'Oh! yes,' he replied, +'she has been these last two months at the Magdalen learning to be +prudent, and I trust she has improved herself as much there, as you +have done at St. Lazare!' +</P> + +<P> +"If an eternal imprisonment, or death itself, had been presented to my +view, I could not have restrained the excitement into which this +afflicting announcement threw me. I flung myself upon him in so +violent a rage that half my strength was exhausted by the effort. I +had, however, more than enough left to drag him to the ground, and +grasp him by the throat. I should infallibly have strangled him, if +his fall, and the half-stifled cries which he had still the power to +utter, had not attracted the governor and several of the priests to my +room. They rescued him from my fury. +</P> + +<P> +"I was, myself, breathless and almost impotent from rage. 'Oh God!' I +cried—'Heavenly justice! Must I survive this infamy?' I tried again +to seize the barbarian who had thus roused my indignation—they +prevented me. My despair—my cries—my tears, exceeded all belief: I +raved in so incoherent a manner that all the bystanders, who were +ignorant of the cause, looked at each other with as much dread as +surprise. +</P> + +<P> +"G—— M—— in the meantime adjusted his wig and cravat, and in his +anger at having been so ill-treated, ordered me to be kept under more +severe restraint than before, and to be punished in the manner usual +with offenders in St. Lazare. 'No, sir!' said the governor, 'it is not +with a person of his birth that we are in the habit of using such means +of coercion; besides, he is habitually so mild and well-conducted, that +I cannot but think you must have given provocation for such excessive +violence.' This reply disconcerted G—— M—— beyond measure and he +went away, declaring that he knew how to be revenged on the governor, +as well as on me, and everyone else who dared to thwart him. +</P> + +<P> +"The Superior, having ordered some of the brotherhood to escort him out +of the prison, remained alone with me. He conjured me to tell him at +once what was the cause of the fracas.—'Oh, my good sir!' said I to +him, continuing to cry like a child, 'imagine the most horrible +cruelty, figure to yourself the most inhuman of atrocities—that is +what G—— M—— has had the cowardly baseness to perpetrate: he has +pierced my heart. Never shall I recover from this blow! I would +gladly tell you the whole circumstance,' added I, sobbing with grief; +'you are kind-hearted, and cannot fail to pity me.' +</P> + +<P> +"I gave him, as briefly as I could, a history of my long-standing and +insurmountable passion for Manon, of the flourishing condition of our +fortunes previous to the robbery committed by our servants, of the +offers which G—— M—— had made to my mistress, of the understanding +they had come to, and the manner in which it had been defeated. To be +sure, I represented things to him in as favourable a light for us as +possible. 'Now you can comprehend,' continued I, 'the source of M. +G—— M——'s holy zeal for my conversion. He has had influence enough +to have me shut up here, out of mere revenge. That I can pardon; but, +my good sir, that is not all. He has taken from me my heart's blood: +he has had Manon shamefully incarcerated in the Magdalen; and had the +effrontery to announce it to me this day with his own lips. In the +Magdalen, good sir! Oh heavens! my adorable mistress, my beloved Manon, +a degraded inmate of the Hospital! How shall I command strength of +mind enough to survive this grief and shame!' +</P> + +<P> +"The good Father, seeing me in such affliction, endeavoured to console +me. He told me that he had never understood my history, as I just now +related it; he had of course known that I led a dissolute life, but he +had imagined that M. G—— M——'s interest about me was the result of +his esteem and friendship for my family; that it was in this sense he +had explained the matter to him; that what I had now told him should +assuredly produce a change in my treatment, and that he had no doubt +but the accurate detail which he should immediately transmit to the +lieutenant-general of police would bring about my liberation. +</P> + +<P> +"He then enquired why I had never thought of informing my family of +what had taken place, since they had not been instrumental to my +incarceration. I satisfactorily answered this by stating my +unwillingness to cause my father pain, or to bring upon myself the +humiliation of such an exposure. In the end, he promised to go +directly to the lieutenant-general of police if it were only, said he, +to be beforehand with M. G—— M——, who went off in such a rage, and +who had sufficient influence to make himself formidable. +</P> + +<P> +"I looked for the good Father's return with all the suspense of a man +expecting sentence of death. It was torture to me to think of Manon at +the Magdalen. Besides the infamy of such a prison, I knew not how she +might be treated there; and the recollection of some particulars I had +formerly heard of this horrible place, incessantly renewed my misery. +Cost what it might, I was so bent upon relieving her by some means or +other, that I should assuredly have set fire to St. Lazare, if no other +mode of escape had presented itself. +</P> + +<P> +"I considered what chances would remain to me if the lieutenant-general +still kept me in confinement. I taxed my ingenuity: I scanned every +imaginable gleam of hope—I could discover nothing that gave me any +prospect of escape, and I feared that I should experience only more +rigid confinement, if I made an unsuccessful attempt. I thought of +some friends from whom I might hope for aid, but then, how was I to +make them aware of my situation? At length I fancied that I had hit +upon a plan so ingenious, as to offer a fair probability of success. I +postponed the details of its arrangement until after the Superior's +return, in case of his having failed in the object of his visit. +</P> + +<P> +"He soon arrived: I did not observe upon his countenance any of those +marks of joy that indicate good news. 'I have spoken,' said he, 'to +the lieutenant-general of police, but I was too late, M. G—— M—— +went straight to him after quitting us, and so prejudiced him against +you, that he was on the point of sending me fresh instructions to +subject you to closer confinement. +</P> + +<P> +"'However, when I let him know the truth of your story, he reconsidered +the matter, and, smiling at the incontinence of old G—— M——, he +said it would be necessary to keep you here for six months longer, in +order to pacify him; the less to be lamented,' he added, 'because your +morals would be sure to benefit by your residence here. He desired +that I would show you every kindness and attention, and I need not +assure you that you shall have no reason to complain of your treatment.' +</P> + +<P> +"This speech of the Superior's was long enough to afford me time to +form a prudent resolution. I saw that by betraying too strong an +impatience for my liberty, I should probably be upsetting all my +projects. I acknowledged to him, that, as it was necessary to me to +remain, it was an infinite comfort to know that I possessed a place in +his esteem. I then requested, and with unaffected sincerity, a favour, +which could be of no consequence to others, and which would contribute +much to my peace of mind; it was to inform a friend of mine, a devout +clergyman, who lived at St. Sulpice, that I was at St. Lazare, and to +permit me occasionally to receive his visits. +</P> + +<P> +"This was of course my friend Tiberge; not that I could hope from him +the assistance necessary for effecting my liberty; but I wished to make +him the unconscious instrument of my designs. In a word, this was my +project: I wished to write to Lescaut, and to charge him and our common +friends with the task of my deliverance. The first difficulty was to +have my letter conveyed to him: this should be Tiberge's office. +However, as he knew him to be Manon's brother, I doubted whether he +would take charge of this commission. My plan was to enclose my letter +to Lescaut in another to some respectable man of my acquaintance, +begging of him to transmit the first to its address without delay; and +as it was necessary that I should have personal communication with +Lescaut, in order to arrange our proceedings, I told him to call on me +at St. Lazare, and assume the name of my eldest brother, as if he had +come to Paris expressly to see me. I postponed till our meeting all +mention of the safest and most expeditious course I intended to suggest +for our future conduct. The governor informed Tiberge of my wish to +see him. This ever-faithful friend had not so entirely lost sight of +me as to be ignorant of my present abode, and it is probable that, in +his heart, he did not regret the circumstance, from an idea that it +might furnish the means of my moral regeneration. He lost no time in +paying me the desired visit." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap06"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +VI +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="intro"> +It is a strange thing to note the excess of this passion; and how it +braves the nature and value of things, by this—that the speaking in a +perpetual hyperbole is comely in nothing but in love.—BACON. +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"My interview with Tiberge was of the most friendly description. I saw +that his object was to discover the present temper of my mind. I +opened my heart to him without any reserve, except as to the mere point +of my intention of escaping. 'It is not from such a friend as you,' +said I, 'that I can ever wish to dissemble my real feelings. If you +flattered yourself with a hope that you were at last about to find me +grown prudent and regular in my conduct, a libertine reclaimed by the +chastisements of fortune, released alike from the trammels of love, and +the dominion that Manon wields over me, I must in candour say, that you +deceive yourself. You still behold me, as you left me four months ago, +the slave—if you will, the unhappy slave—of a passion, from which I +now hope, as fervently and as confidently as I ever did, to derive +eventually solid comfort.' +</P> + +<P> +"He answered, that such an acknowledgment rendered me utterly +inexcusable; that it was no uncommon case to meet sinners who allowed +themselves to be so dazzled with the glare of vice as to prefer it +openly to the true splendour of virtue; they were at least deluded by +the false image of happiness, the poor dupes of an empty shadow; but to +know and feel as I did, that the object of my attachment was only +calculated to render me culpable and unhappy, and to continue thus +voluntarily in a career of misery and crime, involved a contradiction +of ideas and of conduct little creditable to my reason. +</P> + +<P> +"'Tiberge,' replied I, 'it is easy to triumph when your arguments are +unopposed. Allow me to reason for a few moments in my turn. Can you +pretend that what you call the happiness of virtue is exempt from +troubles, and crosses, and cares? By what name will you designate the +dungeon, the rack, the inflections and tortures of tyrants? Will you +say with the Mystics[1] that the soul derives pleasure from the +torments of the body? You are not bold enough to hold such a +doctrine—a paradox not to be maintained. This happiness, then, that +you prize so much, has a thousand drawbacks, or is, more properly +speaking, but a tissue of sufferings through which one hopes to attain +felicity. If by the power of imagination one can even derive pleasure +from these sufferings, hoping that they may lead to a happy end, why, +let me ask, do you deem my conduct senseless, when it is directed by +precisely the same principle? I love Manon: I wade through sorrow and +suffering in order to attain happiness with her. My path is one indeed +of difficulties, but the mere hope of reaching the desired goal makes +it easy and delightful; and I shall think myself but too bountifully +repaid by one moment of her society, for all the troubles I encounter +in my course. There appears therefore no difference between us, or, if +there be any, it is assuredly in my favour; for the bliss I hope for is +near and tangible, yours is far distant, and purely speculative. Mine +is of the same kind as my sufferings, that is to say, evident to my +senses; yours is of an incomprehensible nature, and only discernible +through the dim medium of faith.' +</P> + +<P> +"Tiberge appeared shocked by my remarks. He retired two or three paces +from me, while he said, in the most serious tone, that my argument was +not only a violation of good sense, but that it was the miserable +sophistry of irreligion; 'for the comparison,' he added, 'of the +pitiful reward of your sufferings with that held out to us by the +divine revelation, is the essence of impiety and absurdity combined.' +</P> + +<P> +"'I acknowledge,' said I, 'that the comparison is not a just one, but +my argument does not at all depend upon it. I was about to explain +what you consider a contradiction—the persevering in a painful +pursuit; and I think I have satisfactorily proved, that if there be any +contradiction in that, we shall be both equally obnoxious to the +charge. It was in this light, only, that I could observe no difference +in our cases, and I cannot as yet perceive any. +</P> + +<P> +"'You may probably answer, that the proposed end, the promised reward, +of virtue, is infinitely superior to that of love? No one disputes it, +but that is not the question—we are only discussing the relative aid +they both afford in the endurance of affliction. Judge of that by the +practical effect: are there not multitudes who abandon a life of strict +virtue? how few give up the pursuits of love! +</P> + +<P> +"'Again, you will reply that if there be difficulties in the exercise +of virtue, they are by no means universal and sure; that the good man +does not necessarily meet tyrants and tortures, and that, on the +contrary, a life of virtue is perfectly compatible with repose and +enjoyment. I can say with equal truth, that love is often accompanied +by content and happiness; and what makes another distinction of +infinite advantage to my argument, I may add that love, though it often +deludes, never holds out other than hopes of bliss and joy, whilst +religion exacts from her votaries mortification and sorrow. +</P> + +<P> +"'Do not be alarmed,' said I, perceiving that I had almost offended his +zealous feelings of devotion. 'I only wish to say, that there is no +more unsuccessful method of weaning man's heart from love, than by +endeavouring to decry its enjoyments, and by promising him more +pleasure from the exercise of virtue. It is an inherent principle in +our nature, that our felicity consists only in pleasure. I defy you to +conceive any other notion of it; and it requires little time to arrive +at the conviction, that, of all pleasures, those of love are +immeasurably the most enchanting. A man quickly discerns the delusion, +when he hears the promise made of livelier enjoyment, and the effect of +such misrepresentation is only to make him doubt the truth of a more +solid promise. +</P> + +<P> +"'Let the preacher who seeks the reformation of a sinner tell me that +virtue is indispensably necessary, but not disguise its difficulty and +its attendant denials. Say that the enjoyments of love are fleeting, +if you will, that they are rigidly forbidden, that they lead with +certainty to eternal suffering; and, what would assuredly make a deeper +impression upon me than any other argument, say that the more sweet and +delectable they are, the brighter will be the reward of Heaven for +giving them up in sacrifice; but do in the name of justice admit, that, +constituted as the heart of man is, they form here, on earth, our most +perfect happiness.' +</P> + +<P> +"My last sentence restored to Tiberge his good humour. He allowed that +my ideas were not altogether so unreasonable. The only point he made, +was in asking me why I did not carry my own principle into operation, +by sacrificing my passion to the hope of that remuneration of which I +had drawn so brilliant a picture. 'Oh! my dear friend,' replied I; +'that it is which makes me conscious of my own misery and weakness: +true, alas! it is indeed my duty to act according to my argument; but +have I the power of governing my own actions? What aid will enable me +to forget Manon's charms?' 'God forgive me,' said Tiberge, 'I can +almost fancy you a Jansenist[2]. 'I know not of what sect I am,' +replied I, 'nor do I indeed very clearly see to which I ought to +belong; but I cannot help feeling the truth of this at least of their +tenets.' +</P> + +<P> +"One effect of our conversation was to revive my friend's pity for me +in all its force. He perceived that there was in my errors more of +weakness than of vice; and he was the more disposed in the end to give +me assistance; without which I should infallibly have perished from +distress of mind. However, I carefully concealed from him my intention +of escaping from St. Lazare. I merely begged of him to take charge of +my letter; I had it ready before he came, and I soon found an excuse +for the necessity of writing. He faithfully transmitted it, and +Lescaut received before evening the one I had enclosed for him. +</P> + +<P> +"He came to see me next morning, and fortunately was admitted under my +brother's name. I was overjoyed at finding him in my room. I +carefully closed the door. 'Let us lose no time,' I said. 'First tell +me about Manon, and then advise me how I am to shake off these +fetters.' He assured me that he had not seen his sister since the day +before my arrest, and that it was only by repeated enquiries, and after +much trouble, that he had at length been able to discover her fate as +well as mine; and that he had two or three times presented himself at +the Magdalen, and been refused admittance. 'Wretch!' muttered I to +myself, 'dearly shall G—— M—— pay for this!' +</P> + +<P> +"'As to your escape,' continued Lescaut, 'it will not be so easy as you +imagine. Last evening, I and a couple of friends walked round this +establishment to reconnoitre it; and we agreed that, as your windows +looked into a court surrounded by buildings, as you yourself mentioned +in your letter, there would be vast difficulty in getting you out. +Besides, you are on the third story, and it would be impossible to +introduce ropes or ladders through the window. I therefore see no +means from without—in the house itself we must hit upon some scheme.' +</P> + +<P> +"'No,' replied I; 'I have examined everything minutely, particularly +since, through the governor's indulgence, my confinement has been less +rigorous. I am no longer locked into my room; I have liberty to walk +in the gallery; but there is, upon every landing, a strong door kept +closed night and day, so that it is impossible that ingenuity alone, +unaided by some violent efforts, can rescue me. +</P> + +<P> +"'Wait,' said I, after turning in my mind for a moment an idea that +struck me as excellent; 'could you bring me a pistol?' 'Softly,' said +Lescaut to me, 'you don't think of committing murder?' I assured him +that I had so little intention of shooting anyone, that it would not be +even necessary to have the pistol loaded. 'Bring it to me tomorrow,' I +added, 'and do not fail to be exactly opposite the great entrance with +two or three of your friends at eleven tomorrow night; I think I shall +be able to join you there.' He in vain requested me to explain my +plan. I told him that such an attempt as I contemplated could only +appear rational after it had succeeded. I begged of him to shorten his +visit, in order that he might with the less difficulty be admitted next +morning. He was accordingly admitted as readily as on his first visit. +He had put on so serious an air, moreover, that a stranger would have +taken him for a respectable person. +</P> + +<P> +"When I found in my hand the instrument of my liberty, I no longer +doubted my success. It was certainly a strange and a bold project; but +of what was I not capable, with the motives that inspired me? I had, +since I was allowed permission to walk in the galleries, found +opportunities of observing that every night the porter brought the keys +of all the doors to the governor, and subsequently there always reigned +a profound silence in the house, which showed that the inmates had +retired to rest. There was an open communication between my room and +that of the Superior. My resolution was, if he refused quietly to +surrender the keys, to force him, by fear of the pistol, to deliver +them up, and then by their help to gain the street. I impatiently +awaited the moment for executing my purpose. The porter arrived at his +usual time, that is to say, soon after nine o'clock. I allowed an hour +to elapse, in order that the priests as well as the servants might be +all asleep. I at length proceeded with my pistol and a lighted candle. +I first gave a gentle tap at the governor's door to awaken without +alarming him. I knocked a second time before he heard me; and +supposing of course that it was one of the priests who was taken ill +and wanted assistance, he got out of bed, dressed himself, and came to +the door. He had, however, the precaution to ask first who it was, and +what was wanted? I was obliged to mention my name, but I assumed a +plaintive tone, to make him believe that I was indisposed. 'Ah! it is +you, my dear boy,' said he on opening the door; 'what can bring you +here at this hour?' I stepped inside the door, and leading him to the +opposite side of the room, I declared to him that it was absolutely +impossible for me to remain longer at St. Lazare; that the night was +the most favourable time for going out unobserved, and that I +confidently expected, from his tried friendship, that he would consent +to open the gates for me, or entrust me with the keys to let myself out. +</P> + +<P> +"This compliment to his friendship seemed to surprise him. He stood +for a few moments looking at me without making any reply. Finding that +I had no time to lose, I just begged to assure him that I had the most +lively sense of all his kindnesses, but that freedom was dearer to man +than every other consideration, especially so to me, who had been +cruelly and unjustly deprived of it; that I was resolved this night to +recover it, cost what it would, and fearing lest he might raise his +voice and call for assistance, I let him see the powerful incentive to +silence which I had kept concealed in my bosom. 'A pistol!' cried he. +'What! my son? will you take away my life in return for the attentions +I have shown you?' 'God forbid,' replied I; 'you are too reasonable to +drive me to that horrible extremity: but I am determined to be free, +and so firmly determined, that if you defeat my project, I will put an +end to your existence.' 'But, my dear son!' said he, pale and +frightened, 'what have I done to you? What reason have you for taking +my life?' 'No!' replied I, impatiently, 'I have no design upon your +life, if you, yourself, wish to live; open but the doors for me, and +you will find me the most attached of friends.' I perceived the keys +upon the table. I requested he would take them in his hand and walk +before me, making as little noise as he possibly could. +</P> + +<P> +"He saw the necessity of consenting. We proceeded, and as he opened +each door, he repeated, always with a sigh, 'Ah! my son, who could have +believed it?' 'No noise, good Father, no noise,' I as often answered +in my turn. At length we reached a kind of barrier, just inside the +great entrance. I already fancied myself free, and kept close behind +the governor, with my candle in one hand, and my pistol in the other. +</P> + +<P> +"While he was endeavouring to open the heavy gate, one of the servants, +who slept in an adjoining room, hearing the noise of the bolts, jumped +out of bed, and peeped forth to see what was passing. The good Father +apparently thought him strong enough to overpower me. He commanded +him, most imprudently, to come to his assistance. He was a powerful +ruffian, and threw himself upon me without an instant's hesitation. +There was no time for parleying—I levelled my pistol and lodged the +contents in his breast! 'See, Father, of what mischief you have been +the cause,' said I to my guide; 'but that must not prevent us from +finishing our work,' I added, pushing him on towards the last door. He +did not dare refuse to open it. I made my exit in perfect safety, and, +a few paces off, found Lescaut with two friends waiting for me, +according to his promise. +</P> + +<P> +"We removed at once to a distance. Lescaut enquired whether he had not +heard the report of a pistol? 'You are to blame,' said I, 'why did you +bring it charged?' I, however, could not help thanking him for having +taken this precaution, without which I doubtless must have continued +much longer at St. Lazare. We went to pass the night at a tavern, +where I made up, in some degree, for the miserable fare which had been +doled out to me for nearly three months. I was very far, however, from +tasting perfect enjoyment; Manon's sufferings were mine. 'She must be +released,' said I to my companions: 'this was my sole object in +desiring my own liberty. I rely on your aiding me with all your +ingenuity; as for myself, my life shall be devoted to the purpose.' +</P> + +<P> +"Lescaut, who was not deficient in tact, and still less in that better +part of valour called discretion, dwelt upon the necessity of acting +with extreme caution: he said that my escape from St. Lazare, and the +accident that happened on my leaving it, would assuredly create a +sensation; that the lieutenant-general of police would cause a strict +search to be made for me, and it would be difficult to evade him; in +fine, that, unless disposed to encounter something worse, perhaps, than +St. Lazare, it would be requisite for me to remain concealed for a few +days, in order to give the enemy's zeal time to cool. No doubt this +was wise counsel; but, one should have been wise oneself to have +followed it. Such calculating slowness little suited my passion. The +utmost I could bring myself to promise was, that I would sleep through +the whole of the next day. He locked me in my bedroom, where I +remained patiently until night. +</P> + +<P> +"I employed great part of the time in devising schemes for relieving +Manon. I felt persuaded that her prison was even more inaccessible +than mine had been. Force was out of the question. Artifice was the +only resource; but the goddess of invention herself could not have told +me how to begin. I felt the impossibility of working in the dark, and +therefore postponed the further consideration of my schemes until I +could acquire some knowledge of the internal arrangements of the +Hospital, in which she was confined. +</P> + +<P> +"As soon as night restored to me my liberty, I begged of Lescaut to +accompany me. We were not long in drawing one of the porters into +conversation; he appeared a reasonable man. I passed for a stranger +who had often with admiration heard talk of the Hospital, and of the +order that reigned within it. I enquired into the most minute details; +and, proceeding from one subject to another, we at length spoke of the +managers, and of these I begged to know the names and the respective +characters. He gave me such information upon the latter point as at +once suggested an idea which flattered my hopes, and I immediately set +about carrying it into execution. +</P> + +<P> +"I asked him (this being a matter essential to my plan) whether any of +the gentlemen had children. He said he could not answer me with +certainty as to all, but as for M. de T——, one of the principal +directors, he knew that he had a son old enough to be married, and who +had come several times to the Hospital with his father. This was +enough for my purpose. +</P> + +<P> +"I immediately put an end to our interview, and, in returning, I told +Lescaut of the plan I had formed. 'I have taken it,' said I, 'into my +head, that M. de T——, the son, who is rich and of good family, must +have the same taste for pleasure that other young men of his age +generally have. He could hardly be so bad a friend to the fair sex, +nor so absurd as to refuse his services in an affair of love. I have +arranged a plan for interesting him in favour of Manon. If he is a man +of feeling and of right mind, he will give us his assistance from +generosity. If he is not to be touched by a motive of this kind, he +will at least do something for a handsome girl, if it were only with +the hope of hereafter sharing her favours. I will not defer seeing +him,' added I, 'beyond tomorrow. I really feel so elated by this +project, that I derive from it a good omen.' +</P> + +<P> +"Lescaut himself allowed that the idea was not unreasonable, and that +we might fairly entertain a hope of turning it to account. I passed the +night less sorrowfully. +</P> + +<P> +"Next morning I dressed as well as, in my present state of indigence, I +could possibly contrive to do; and went in a hackney coach to the +residence of M. de T——. He was surprised at receiving a visit from a +perfect stranger. I augured favourably from his countenance and the +civility of his manner. I explained my object in the most candid way; +and, to excite his feelings as much as possible, I spoke of my ardent +passion and of Manon's merit, as of two things that were unequalled, +except by each other. He told me, that although he had never seen +Manon, he had heard of her; at least, if the person I was talking of +was the same who had been the mistress of old G—— M——. I +conjectured that he must have heard of the part I had acted in that +transaction, and in order to conciliate him more and more by treating +him with confidence, I told him everything that had occurred to Manon +and myself. 'You see, sir,' said I, 'that all that can interest me in +life, all that can command my affections, is in your hands. I have no +reserve with you, because I have been informed of your generous and +noble character; and, being of the same age, I trust I shall find some +resemblance in our dispositions.' +</P> + +<P> +"He seemed flattered by this mark of candour and confidence. He +replied in a manner that became a man of the world, and a man of +feeling also, for they are not always synonymous terms. He told me +that he appreciated my visit as a piece of good fortune; that he +considered my friendship as a valuable acquisition, and that he would +endeavour to prove himself worthy of it, by the sincerity of his +services. He could not absolutely promise to restore Manon to my arms, +because, as he said, he himself had very little influence; but he +offered to procure me the pleasure of seeing her, and to do everything +in his power to effect her release. I was the more satisfied with this +frank avowal as to his want of influence, than I should have been by an +unqualified promise of fulfilling all my wishes. I found in his +moderation a pledge of his sincerity: in a word, I no longer doubted my +entire success. The promise alone of enabling me to see Manon filled +me with gratitude, and I testified it in so earnest a manner, as to +give him a favourable opinion of my heart and disposition; we shook +hands warmly, and parted sworn friends, merely from mutual regard, and +that natural feeling which prompts a man of kind and generous +sentiments to esteem another of congenial mind. +</P> + +<P> +"He, indeed, exceeded me in the proofs of his esteem; for, inferring +from my adventures, and especially my late escape from St. Lazare, that +I might be in want of money, he offered me his purse, and pressed me to +accept it. I refused, but said to him, 'You are too kind, my dear sir! +If in addition to such proofs of kindness and friendship, you enable me +to see Manon again, rely on my eternal regard and gratitude. If you +succeed in restoring altogether this dear creature to my arms, I should +think myself happy in spilling the last drop of my blood in your +service.' +</P> + +<P> +"Before we parted, we agreed as to the time and place for our meeting. +He was so considerate as to appoint the afternoon of the same day. +</P> + +<P> +"I waited for him at a cafe, where he joined me about four o'clock, and +we went together towards the Magdalen; my knees trembled under me as I +crossed the courts. 'Ye heavenly powers!' said I, 'then I shall once +more behold the idol of my heart—the dear object of so many sighs and +lamentations! All I now ask of Providence is, to vouchsafe me strength +enough to reach her presence, and after that, to dispose as it pleaseth +of my future fate, and of my life itself. Beyond this, I have no +prayer to utter.' +</P> + +<P> +"M. de T—— spoke to some of the porters of the establishment, who +appeared all anxious to please him. The quarter in which Manon's room +lay was pointed out to us, and our guide carried in his hand the key of +her chamber: it was of frightful size. I asked the man who conducted +us, and whose duty it was to attend to Manon, how she passed her time? +He said, that she had a temper of the most angelic sweetness; that even +he, disagreeable as his official duties must render him, had never +heard from her a single syllable in the nature of rebuke or harshness; +that her tears had never ceased to flow during the first six weeks +after her arrival, but that latterly she seemed to bear her misfortunes +with more resignation, and that she employed herself from morning till +night with her needle, excepting some hours that she, each day, devoted +to reading. I asked whether she had been decently provided for. He +assured me that at least she had never felt the want of necessaries. +</P> + +<P> +"We now approached her door. My heart beat almost audibly in my bosom. +I said to M. de T——, 'Go in alone, and prepare her for my visit; I +fear that she may be overcome by seeing me unexpectedly.' The door was +opened. I remained in the passage, and listened to the conversation. +He said that he came to bring her consolation; that he was a friend of +mine, and felt deeply interested for the happiness of us both. She +asked with the tenderest anxiety, whether he could tell her what had +become of me. He promised that she should soon see me at her feet, as +affectionate and as faithful as ever. 'When?' she asked. 'This very +day,' said he; 'the happy moment shall not be long delayed; nay, this +very instant even, if you wish it.' She at once understood that I was +at the door; as she was rushing towards it, I entered. We embraced +each other with that abounding and impassioned tenderness, which an +absence of many months makes so delicious to those who truly love. Our +sighs, our broken exclamations, the thousand endearing appellations of +love, exchanged in languishing rapture, astonished M. de T——, and +affected him even to tears. +</P> + +<P> +"'I cannot help envying you,' said he, as he begged us to be seated; +'there is no lot, however glorious, that I would hold as comparable to +the possession of a mistress at once so tender and impassioned.' 'Nor +would I,' I replied, 'give up her love for universal empire!' +</P> + +<P> +"The remainder of an interview which had been so long and so ardently +desired by me, was of course as tender as the commencement. Poor Manon +related all her adventures, and I told her mine: we bitterly wept over +each other's story. M. de T—— consoled us by his renewed promises to +exert himself in our service. He advised us not to make this, our +first interview, of too long duration, that he might have the less +difficulty in procuring us the same enjoyment again. He at length +induced us to follow his advice. Manon especially could not reconcile +herself to the separation: she made me a hundred times resume my seat. +At one time she held me by my hands, at another by my coat. 'Alas!' +she said, 'in what an abode do you leave me! Who will answer for my +ever seeing you again?' M. de T—— promised her that he would often +come and see her with me. 'As to the abode,' he said, 'it must no +longer be called the Magdalen; it is Versailles! now that it contains a +person who deserves the empire of all hearts.' +</P> + +<P> +"I made the man who attended a present as I went out, in order to +quicken his zeal and attentions. This fellow had a mind less rough and +vulgar than the generality of his class. He had witnessed our +interview, and was affected by it. The interest he felt was doubtless +increased by the louis d'or I gave him. He took me aside as we went +down into the courtyard. 'Sir,' said he, 'if you will only take me +into your service, or indemnify me in any way for the loss of the +situation which I fill here, I think I should not have much difficulty +in liberating the beauteous Manon.' +</P> + +<P> +"I caught readily at the suggestion, and, although at the moment I was +almost in a state of destitution, I gave him promises far beyond his +desires. I considered that it would be at all times easy to recompense +a man of his description. 'Be assured, my friend,' said I to him, +'that there is nothing I will not be ready to do for you, and that your +fortune is just as certain as my own.' I enquired what means he +intended to employ. 'None other,' said he, 'than merely to open the +door of her cell for her at night, and to conduct her to the street +door, where you, of course, will be to receive her.' I asked whether +there was no danger of her being recognised as she traversed the long +galleries and the courts. He admitted that there was danger, but that +nothing could be done without some slight risk. +</P> + +<P> +"Although I was delighted to find him so determined, I called M. de +T——, and informed him of the project, and of the only difficulty in +the way. He thought it not so easy of execution. He allowed the +possibility of escaping thus: 'But if she be recognised,' continued +he, 'if she be stopped in the attempt, all hope will be over with her, +perhaps for ever. Besides, you would be obliged to quit Paris +instantly, for you could never evade the search that would be made for +you: they would redouble their efforts as much on your own account as +hers. A single man may easily escape detection, but in company with a +handsome woman, it would be utterly impossible to remain undiscovered.' +</P> + +<P> +"However sound this reasoning, it could not, in my mind, outweigh the +immediate prospect of restoring Manon to liberty. I said as much to M. +de T——, and trusted that he would excuse my imprudence and rashness, +on the ground of love. I added that it was already my intention to +quit Paris for some neighbouring village, as I had once before done. +We then settled with the servant that he should carry his project into +execution the following day, and to render our success as certain as he +could, we resolved to carry into the prison men's clothes, in order to +facilitate her escape. +</P> + +<P> +"There was a difficulty to be surmounted in carrying them in, but I had +ingenuity enough to meet it. I begged of M. de T—— only to put on +two light waistcoats the next morning, and I undertook to arrange the +rest. +</P> + +<P> +"We returned the following day to the Hospital. I took with me linen, +stockings, etc., for Manon, and over my body-coat a surtout, which +concealed the bulk I carried in my pockets. We remained but a moment +in her room. M. de T—— left her one of his waistcoats; I gave her my +short coat, the surtout being sufficient for me. She found nothing +wanting for her complete equipment but a pair of pantaloons, which in +my hurry I had forgotten. +</P> + +<P> +"The want of so necessary an article might have amused us, if the +embarrassment it caused had been of a less serious kind. I was in +despair at having our whole scheme foiled by a trifling omission of +this nature. However, I soon hit on a remedy, and determined to make +my own exit sans-culotte, leaving that portion of my dress with Manon. +My surtout was long, and I contrived by the help of a few pins to put +myself in a decent condition for passing the gate. +</P> + +<P> +"The remainder of the day appeared to me of endless length. When at +last night came, we went in a coach to within a few yards of the +Hospital. We were not long waiting, when we saw Manon make her +appearance with her guide. The door of the coach being opened, they +both stepped in without delay. I opened my arms to receive my adored +mistress; she trembled like an aspen leaf. The coachman asked where he +was to drive? 'To the end of the world!' I exclaimed; 'to some place +where I can never again be separated from Manon.' +</P> + +<P> +"This burst, which I could not control, was near bringing me into fresh +trouble. The coachman reflected upon what I said, and when I +afterwards told him the name of the street to which I wished him to +drive, he answered that he feared I was about to implicate him in some +bad business; that he saw plainly enough that the good-looking young +man whom I called Manon was a girl eloping from the Hospital, and that +he was little disposed indeed to ruin himself for love of me. +</P> + +<P> +"Extortion was the source of this scoundrel's delicacy. We were still +too near the Hospital to make any noise. 'Silence!' said I to him, +'you shall have a louis d'or for the job': for less than that he would +have helped me to burn the Hospital. +</P> + +<P> +"We arrived at Lescaut's house. As it was late, M. de T—— left us on +the way, promising to visit us the next morning. The servant alone +remained. +</P> + +<P> +"I held Manon in such close embrace in my arms, that we occupied but +one place in the coach. She cried for joy, and I could feel her tears +trickling down my cheeks. +</P> + +<P> +"When we were about getting out at Lescaut's, I had a new difficulty +with the coachman, which was attended with the most unfortunate +results. I repented of having promised the fellow a louis d'or, not +only because it was extravagant folly, but for another stronger reason, +that it was at the moment out of my power to pay him. I called for +Lescaut, and he came down to the door. I whispered to him the cause of +my present embarrassment. Being naturally rough, and not at all in the +habit of treating hackney-coachmen with respect, he answered that I +could not be serious. 'A louis!' said he; 'twenty blows of a cane +would be the right payment for that rascal!' I entreated him not to +destroy us; when he snatched my cane from my hand, and was about to lay +it on the coachman. The fellow had probably before experienced the +weight of a guardsman's arm, and instantly drove off, crying out, that +I had cheated him, and should hear of him again. I in vain endeavoured +to stop him. +</P> + +<P> +"His flight caused me, of course, the greatest alarm. I had no doubt +that he would immediately give information to the police. 'You have +ruined me,' said I to Lescaut; 'I shall be no longer safe at your +house; we must go hence at once.' I gave Manon my arm, and as quickly +as possible got out of the dangerous neighbourhood. Lescaut +accompanied us." +</P> + +<P> +The Chevalier des Grieux having occupied more than an hour with his +story, I begged him to give himself a little rest, and meanwhile to +share our supper. He saw, by the attention we paid him, that we were +amused, and promised that we should hear something of perhaps greater +interest in the sequel. When we had finished supper, he continued in +the following words. +</P> + +<BR><BR> + +<P CLASS="footnote"> +[1] A favourite tenet of the Mystics, advocated by Madame de Guyon, and +adopted by the amiable and eloquent Fenelon, was, that the love of the +Supreme Being must be pure and disinterested; that is, exempt from all +views of interest, and all hope of reward. See the controversy between +Bossuet and Fenelon. +</P> + +<P CLASS="footnote"> +[2] The first proposition of the Jansenists was, that there are divine +precepts which good men, notwithstanding their desire to observe them, +are nevertheless absolutely unable to obey: God not having given them +such a measure of grace as is essentially necessary to render them +capable of obedience.—Mosheim's Eccles. Hist., ii. 397. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap07"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +VII +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + . . . How chances mock,<BR> + And changes fill the cup of alteration<BR> + With divers liquors.<BR> + SHAKESPEARE.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"How inscrutably does Providence connect events! We had hardly +proceeded for five minutes on our way, when a man, whose face I could +not see, recognised Lescaut. He had no doubt been watching for him +near his home, with the horrible intention which he now unhappily +executed. 'It IS Lescaut!' said he, snapping a pistol at his head; 'he +shall sup tonight with the angels!' He then instantly disappeared. +Lescaut fell, without the least sign of life. I pressed Manon to fly, +for we could be of no use to a dead man, and I feared being arrested by +the police, who would certainly be soon upon the spot. I turned down +the first narrow street with her and the servant: she was so +overpowered by the scene she had just witnessed, that I could hardly +support her. At last, at the end of the street, I perceived a +hackney-coach; we got into it, but when the coachman asked whither he +should drive, I was scarcely able to answer him. I had no certain +asylum—no confidential friend to whom I could have recourse. I was +almost destitute of money, having but one dollar left in my purse. +Fright and fatigue had so unnerved Manon, that she was almost fainting +at my side. My imagination too was full of the murder of Lescaut, and +I was not without strong apprehensions of the patrol. What was to be +done? I luckily remembered the inn at Chaillot, where we first went to +reside in that village. I hoped to be not only secure, but to continue +there for some time without being pressed for payment. 'Take us to +Chaillot,' said I to the coachman. He refused to drive us so far at +that late hour for less than twelve francs. A new embarrassment! At +last we agreed for half that sum—all that my purse contained. +</P> + +<P> +"I tried to console Manon as we went along, but despair was rankling in +my own heart. I should have destroyed myself a thousand times over, if +I had not felt that I held in my arms all that could attach me to life: +this reflection reconciled me. 'I possess her at least,' said I; 'she +loves me! she is mine! Vainly does Tiberge call this a mere phantom of +happiness.' I could, without feeling interest or emotion, see the +whole world besides perish around me. Why? Because I have in it no +object of affection beyond her. +</P> + +<P> +"This sentiment was true; however, while I so lightly esteemed the good +things of the world, I felt that there was no doing without some little +portion of them, were it only to inspire a more thorough contempt for +the remainder. Love is more powerful than wealth—more attractive than +grandeur or fame; but, alas! it cannot exist without certain artificial +aids; and there is nothing more humiliating to the feelings, of a +sensitive lover, than to find himself, by want of means, reduced to the +level of the most vulgar minds. +</P> + +<P> +"It was eleven o'clock when we arrived at Chaillot. They received us +at the inn as old acquaintances, and expressed no sort of surprise at +seeing Manon in male attire, for it was the custom in Paris and the +environs to adopt all disguises. I took care to have her served with +as much attention as if I had been in prosperous circumstances. She +was ignorant of my poverty, and I carefully kept her so, being resolved +to return alone the following day to Paris, to seek some cure for this +vexatious kind of malady. +</P> + +<P> +"At supper she appeared pale and thin; I had not observed this at the +Hospital, as the room in which I saw her was badly lighted. I asked +her if the excessive paleness were not caused by the shock of +witnessing her brother's death? She assured me that, horrified as she +naturally was at the event, her paleness was purely the effect of a +three months' absence from me. 'You do love me then devotedly?' I +exclaimed. +</P> + +<P> +"'A thousand times more than I can tell!' was her reply. +</P> + +<P> +"'You will never leave me again?' I added. +</P> + +<P> +"'No! never, never!' answered she. +</P> + +<P> +"This assurance was confirmed by so many caresses and vows, that it +appeared impossible she could, to the end of time, forget them. I have +never doubted that she was at that moment sincere. What motive could +she have had for dissembling to such a degree? But she became +afterwards still more volatile than ever, or rather she was no longer +anything, and entirely forgot herself, when, in poverty and want, she +saw other women living in abundance. I was now on the point of +receiving a new proof of her inconstancy, which threw all that had +passed into the shade, and which led to the strangest adventure that +ever happened to a man of my birth and prospects. +</P> + +<P> +"As I knew her disposition, I hastened the next day to Paris. The death +of her brother, and the necessity of getting linen and clothes for her, +were such good reasons, that I had no occasion for any further pretext. +I left the inn, with the intention, as I told Manon and the landlord, +of going in a hired carriage, but this was a mere flourish; necessity +obliged me to travel on foot: I walked very fast as far as +Cours-la-Reine, where I intended to rest. A moment of solitude and +tranquillity was requisite to compose myself, and to consider what was +to be done in Paris. +</P> + +<P> +"I sat down upon the grass. I plunged into a sea of thoughts and +considerations, which at length resolved themselves into three +principal heads. I had pressing want of an infinite number of absolute +necessaries; I had to seek some mode of at least raising a hope for the +future; and, though last, not least in importance, I had to gain +information, and adopt measures, to secure Manon's safety and my own. +After having exhausted myself in devising projects upon these three +chief points, I was obliged to put out of view for the moment the two +last. We were not ill sheltered from observation in the inn at +Chaillot; and as to future wants, I thought it would be time enough to +think about them when those of the moment were satisfied. +</P> + +<P> +"The main object now was to replenish my purse. M. de T—— had once +offered me his, but I had an extreme repugnance to mention the subject +to him again. What a degradation to expose one's misery to a stranger, +and to ask for charity: it must be either a man of low mind who would +thus demean himself, and that from a baseness which must render him +insensible to the degradation, or a humble Christian, from a +consciousness of generosity in himself, which must put him above the +sense of shame. I would have sacrificed half my life to be spared the +humiliation. +</P> + +<P> +"'Tiberge,' said I, 'kind Tiberge, will he refuse me what he has it in +his power to grant? No, he will assuredly sympathise in my misery; but +he will also torture me with his lectures! One must endure his +reproaches, his exhortations, his threats: I shall have to purchase his +assistance so dearly, that I would rather make any sacrifice than +encounter this distressing scene, which cannot fail to leave me full of +sorrow and remorse. Well,' thought I again, 'all hope must be +relinquished, since no other course presents itself: so far am I from +adopting either of these, that I would sooner shed half my blood than +face one of these evils, or the last drop rather than encounter both. +Yes, the very last drop,' I repeated after a moment's reflection, 'I +would sacrifice willingly rather than submit to such base supplication! +</P> + +<P> +"'But it is not in reality a question of my existence! Manon's life +and maintenance, her love and her fidelity, are at stake! What +consideration can outweigh that? In her are centred all my glory, +happiness, and future fortune! There are doubtless many things that I +would gladly give up my life to obtain, or to avoid; but to estimate a +thing merely beyond the value of my own life, is not putting it on a +par with that of Manon.' This idea soon decided me: I went on my way, +resolved to go first to Tiberge, and afterwards to M. de T——. +</P> + +<P> +"On entering Paris I took a hackney-coach, though I had not wherewithal +to pay for it; I calculated on the loan I was going to solicit. I +drove to the Luxembourg, whence I sent word to Tiberge that I was +waiting for him. I had not to stay many minutes. I told him without +hesitation the extremity of my wants. He asked if the fifty pounds +which I had returned to him would suffice, and he at once went to fetch +it with that generous air, that pleasure in bestowing which 'blesseth +him that gives, and him that takes,' and which can only be known to +love or to true friendship. +</P> + +<P> +"Although I had never entertained a doubt of Tiberge's readiness to +grant my request, yet I was surprised at having obtained it on such +easy terms, that is to say, without a word of reprimand for my +impenitence; but I was premature in fancying myself safe from his +reproaches, for when he had counted out the money, and I was on the +point of going away, he begged of me to take a walk with him in the +garden. I had not mentioned Manon's name; he knew nothing of her +escape; so that his lecture was merely upon my own rash flight from St. +Lazare, and upon his apprehensions lest, instead of profiting by the +lessons of morality which I had received there, I should again relapse +into dissipation. +</P> + +<P> +"He told me, that having gone to pay me a visit at St. Lazare, the day +after my escape, he had been astonished beyond expression at hearing +the mode in which I had effected it; that he had afterwards a +conversation with the Superior; that the good Father had not quite +recovered the shock; that he had, however, the generosity to conceal +the real circumstances from the lieutenant-general of police, and that +he had prevented the death of the porter from becoming known outside +the walls; that I had, therefore, upon that score, no ground for alarm, +but that, if I retained one grain of prudence, I should profit by this +happy turn which Providence had given to my affairs, and begin by +writing to my father, and reconciling myself to his favour; and finally +that, if I would be guided by his advice, I should at once quit Paris, +and return to the bosom of my family. +</P> + +<P> +"I listened to him attentively till he had finished. There was much in +what he said to gratify me. In the first place, I was delighted to +learn that I had nothing to fear on account of St. Lazare—the streets +of Paris at least were again open to me. Then I rejoiced to find that +Tiberge had no suspicion of Manon's escape, and her return to my arms. +I even remarked that he had not mentioned her name, probably from the +idea that, by my seeming indifference to her, she had become less dear +to my heart. I resolved, if not to return home, at least to write to +my father, as he advised me, and to assure him that I was disposed to +return to my duty, and consult his wishes. My intention was to urge +him to send me money for the purpose of pursuing my ordinary studies at +the University, for I should have found it difficult to persuade him +that I had any inclination to resume my ecclesiastical habit. I was in +truth not at all averse to what I was now going to promise him. On the +contrary, I was ready to apply myself to some creditable and rational +pursuit, so far as the occupation would be compatible with my love. I +reckoned upon being able to live with my mistress, and at the same time +continuing my studies. I saw no inconsistency in this plan. +</P> + +<P> +"These thoughts were so satisfactory to my mind, that I promised +Tiberge to dispatch a letter by that day's post to my father: in fact, +on leaving him, I went into a scrivener's, and wrote in such a +submissive and dutiful tone, that, on reading over my own letter, I +anticipated the triumph I was going to achieve over my father's heart. +</P> + +<P> +"Although I had money enough to pay for a hackney-coach after my +interview with Tiberge, I felt a pleasure in walking independently +through the streets to M. de T——'s house. There was great comfort in +this unaccustomed exercise of my liberty, as to which my friend had +assured me I had nothing now to apprehend. However, it suddenly +occurred to me, that he had been only referring to St. Lazare, and that +I had the other affair of the Hospital on my hands; being implicated, +if not as an accomplice, at all events as a witness. This thought +alarmed me so much, that I slipped down the first narrow street, and +called a coach. I went at once to M. de T——'s, and he laughed at my +apprehensions. I myself thought them ridiculous enough, when he +informed me that there was no more danger from Lescaut's affray, than +from the Hospital adventure. He told me that, from the fear of their +suspecting that he had a hand in Manon's escape, he had gone that +morning to the Hospital and asked to see her, pretending not to know +anything of what had happened; that they were so far from entertaining +the least suspicion of either of us, that they lost no time in relating +the adventure as a piece of news to him; and that they wondered how so +pretty a girl as Manon Lescaut could have thought of eloping with a +servant: that he replied with seeming indifference, that it by no means +astonished him, for people would do anything for the sake of liberty. +</P> + +<P> +"He continued to tell me how he then went to Lescaut's apartments, in +the hope of finding me there with my dear mistress; that the master of +the house, who was a coachmaker, protested he had seen neither me nor +Manon; but that it was no wonder that we had not appeared there, if our +object was to see Lescaut, for that we must have doubtless heard of his +having been assassinated about the very same time; upon which, he +related all that he knew of the cause and circumstances of the murder. +</P> + +<P> +"About two hours previously, a guardsman of Lescaut's acquaintance had +come to see him, and proposed play. Lescaut had such a rapid and +extravagant run of luck, that in an hour the young man was minus twelve +hundred francs—all the money he had. Finding himself without a sou, he +begged of Lescaut to lend him half the sum he had lost; and there being +some difficulty on this point, an angry quarrel arose between them. +Lescaut had refused to give him the required satisfaction, and the +other swore, on quitting him, that he would take his life; a threat +which he carried into execution the same night. M. de T—— was kind +enough to add, that he had felt the utmost anxiety on our account, and +that, such as they were, he should gladly continue to us his services. +I at once told him the place of our retreat. He begged of me to allow +him to sup with us. +</P> + +<P> +"As I had nothing more to do than to procure the linen and clothes for +Manon, I told him that we might start almost immediately, if he would +be so good as to wait for me a moment while I went into one or two +shops. I know not whether he suspected that I made this proposition +with the view of calling his generosity into play, or whether it was by +the mere impulse of a kind heart; but, having consented to start +immediately, he took me to a shopkeeper, who had lately furnished his +house. He there made me select several articles of a much higher price +than I had proposed to myself; and when I was about paying the bill, he +desired the man not to take a sou from me. This he did so gracefully, +that I felt no shame in accepting his present. We then took the road +to Chaillot together, where I arrived much more easy in mind than when +I had left it that morning. +</P> + +<P> +"My return and the polite attentions of M. de T—— dispelled all +Manon's melancholy. 'Let us forget our past annoyances, my dear soul,' +said I to her, 'and endeavour to live a still happier life than before. +After all, there are worse masters than love: fate cannot subject us to +as much sorrow as love enables us to taste of happiness.' Our supper +was a true scene of joy. +</P> + +<P> +"In possession of Manon and of twelve hundred and fifty francs, I was +prouder and more contented than the richest voluptuary of Paris with +untold treasures. Wealth should be measured by the means it affords us +of satisfying our desires. There did not remain to me at this moment a +single wish unaccomplished. Even the future gave me little concern. I +felt a hope, amounting almost to certainty, that my father would allow +me the means of living respectably in Paris, because I had become +entitled, on entering upon my twentieth year, to a share of my mother's +fortune. I did not conceal from Manon what was the extent of my +present wealth; but I added, that it might suffice to support us until +our fortune was bettered, either by the inheritance I have just alluded +to, or by the resources of the hazard-table." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap08"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +VIII +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="intro"> +This Passion hath its floods in the very times of weakness, which are +great prosperity, and great adversity; both which times kindle Love, +and make it more fervent.—BACON. +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"For several weeks I thus continued to think only of enjoying the full +luxury of my situation; and being restrained, by a sense of honour, as +well as a lurking apprehension of the police, from renewing my intimacy +with my former companions at the hotel of Transylvania, I began to play +in certain coteries less notorious, where my good luck rendered it +unnecessary for me to have recourse to my former accomplishments. I +passed a part of the afternoon in town, and returned always to supper +at Chaillot, accompanied very often by M. de T——, whose intimacy and +friendship for us daily increased. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon soon found resources against ennui. She became acquainted with +some young ladies, whom the spring brought into the neighbourhood. +They occupied their leisure hours in walking, and the customary +amusements of persons of their sex and age. Their little gains at cards +(always within innocent limits) were laid out in defraying the expense +of a coach, in which they took an airing occasionally in the Bois de +Boulogne; and each night when I returned, I was sure of finding Manon +more beautiful—more contented—more affectionate than ever. +</P> + +<P> +"There arose, however, certain clouds, which seemed to threaten the +continuance of this blissful tranquillity, but they were soon +dispelled; and Manon's sprightliness made the affair so excessively +comical in its termination, that it is even now pleasing to recur to +it, as a proof of the tenderness as well as the cheerfulness of her +disposition. +</P> + +<P> +"The only servant we had came to me one day, with great embarrassment, +and taking me aside, told me that he had a secret of the utmost +importance to communicate to me. I urged him to explain himself +without reserve. After some hesitation, he gave me to understand that +a foreigner of high rank had apparently fallen in love with Manon. I +felt my blood boil at the announcement. 'Has she shown any penchant +for him?' I enquired, interrupting my informant with more impatience +than was requisite, if I desired to have a full explanation. +</P> + +<P> +"He was alarmed at my excitement; and replied in an undecided tone, +that he had not made sufficiently minute observation to satisfy me; but +that, having noticed for several days together the regular arrival of +the stranger at the Bois de Boulogne, where, quitting his carriage, he +walked by himself in the cross-avenues, appearing to seek opportunities +of meeting Manon, it had occurred to him to form an acquaintance with +the servants, in order to discover the name of their master; that they +spoke of him as an Italian prince, and that they also suspected he was +upon some adventure of gallantry. He had not been able to learn +anything further, he added, trembling as he spoke, because the prince, +then on the point of leaving the wood, had approached him, and with the +most condescending familiarity asked his name; upon which, as if he at +once knew that he was in our service, he congratulated him on having, +for his mistress, the most enchanting person upon earth. +</P> + +<P> +"I listened to this recital with the greatest impatience. He ended +with the most awkward excuses, which I attributed to the premature and +imprudent display of my own agitation. In vain I implored him to +continue his history. He protested that he knew nothing more, and that +what he had previously told me, having only happened the preceding day, +he had not had a second opportunity of seeing the prince's servants. I +encouraged him, not only with praises, but with a substantial +recompense; and without betraying the slightest distrust of Manon, I +requested him, in the mildest manner, to keep strict watch upon all the +foreigner's movements. +</P> + +<P> +"In truth, the effect of his fright was to leave me in a state of the +cruellest suspense. It was possible that she had ordered him to +suppress part of the truth. However, after a little reflection, I +recovered sufficiently from my fears to see the manner in which I had +exposed my weaknesses. I could hardly consider it a crime in Manon to +be loved. Judging from appearances, it was probable that she was not +even aware of her conquest. 'And what kind of life shall I in future +lead,' thought I, 'if I am capable of letting jealousy so easily take +possession of my mind?' +</P> + +<P> +"I returned on the following day to Paris, with no other intention than +to hasten the improvement of my fortune, by playing deeper than ever, +in order to be in a condition to quit Chaillot on the first real +occasion for uneasiness. That night I learned nothing at all +calculated to trouble my repose. The foreigner had, as usual, made his +appearance in the Bois de Boulogne; and venturing, from what had passed +the preceding day, to accost my servant more familiarly, he spoke to +him openly of his passion, but in such terms as not to lead to the +slightest suspicion of Manon's being aware of it. He put a thousand +questions to him, and at last tried to bribe him with large promises; +and taking a letter from his pocket, he in vain entreated him, with the +promise of some louis d'ors, to convey it to her. +</P> + +<P> +"Two days passed without anything more occurring: the third was of a +different character. I learned on my arrival, later than usual, from +Paris, that Manon, while in the wood, had left her companions for a +moment, and that the foreigner, who had followed her at a short +distance, approached, upon her making him a sign, and that she handed +him a letter, which he took with a transport of joy. He had only time +to express his delight by kissing the billet-doux, for she was out of +sight in an instant. But she appeared in unusually high spirits the +remainder of the day; and even after her return to our lodgings, her +gaiety continued. I trembled at every word. +</P> + +<P> +"'Are you perfectly sure,' said I, in an agony of fear, to my servant, +'that your eyes have not deceived you?' He called Heaven to witness +the truth of what he had told me. +</P> + +<P> +"I know not to what excess the torments of my mind would have driven +me, if Manon, who heard me come in, had not met me with an air of +impatience, and complained of my delay. Before I had time to reply, +she loaded me with caresses; and when she found we were alone, she +reproached me warmly with the habit I was contracting of staying out so +late. My silence gave her an opportunity of continuing; and she then +said that for the last three weeks I had never spent one entire day in +her society; that she could not endure such prolonged absence; that she +should at least expect me to give up a day to her from time to time, +and that she particularly wished me to be with her on the following day +from morning till night. +</P> + +<P> +"'You may be very certain I shall do that,' said I, in rather a sharp +tone. She did not appear to notice my annoyance; she seemed to me to +have more than her usual cheerfulness; and she described, with infinite +pleasantry, the manner in which she had spent the day. +</P> + +<P> +"'Incomprehensible girl!" said I to myself; 'what am I to expect after +such a prelude?' The adventures of my first separation occurred to me; +nevertheless, I fancied I saw in her cheerfulness, and the affectionate +reception she gave me, an air of truth that perfectly accorded with her +professions. +</P> + +<P> +"It was an easy matter at supper to account for the low spirits which I +could not conceal, by attributing them to a loss I had that day +sustained at the gaming-table. I considered it most fortunate that the +idea of my remaining all the next day at Chaillot was suggested by +herself: I should thus have ample time for deliberation. My presence +would prevent any fears for at least the next day; and if nothing +should occur to compel me to disclose the discovery I had already made, +I was determined on the following day to move my establishment into +town, and fix myself in a quarter where I should have nothing to +apprehend from the interference of princes. This arrangement made me +pass the night more tranquilly, but it by no means put an end to the +alarm I felt at the prospect of a new infidelity. +</P> + +<P> +"When I awoke in the morning, Manon said to me, that although we were +to pass the day at home, she did not at all wish that I should be less +carefully dressed than on other occasions; and that she had a +particular fancy for doing the duties of my toilette that morning with +her own hands. It was an amusement she often indulged in: but she +appeared to take more pains on this occasion than I had ever observed +before. To gratify her, I was obliged to sit at her toilette table, +and try all the different modes she imagined for dressing my hair. In +the course of the operation, she made me often turn my head round +towards her, and putting both hands upon my shoulders, she would +examine me with most anxious curiosity: then, showing her approbation +by one or two kisses, she would make me resume my position before the +glass, in order to continue her occupation. +</P> + +<P> +"This amatory trifling engaged us till dinner-time. The pleasure she +seemed to derive from it, and her more than usual gaiety, appeared to +me so thoroughly natural, that I found it impossible any longer to +suspect the treason I had previously conjured up; and I was several +times on the point of candidly opening my mind to her, and throwing off +a load that had begun to weigh heavily upon my heart: but I flattered +myself with the hope that the explanation would every moment come from +herself, and I anticipated the delicious triumph this would afford me. +</P> + +<P> +"We returned to her boudoir. She began again to put my hair in order, +and I humoured all her whims; when they came to say that the Prince of +—— was below, and wished to see her. The name alone almost threw me +into a rage. +</P> + +<P> +"'What then,' exclaimed I, as I indignantly pushed her from me, +'who?—what prince?' +</P> + +<P> +"She made no answer to my enquiries. +</P> + +<P> +"'Show him upstairs,' said she coolly to the servant; and then turning +towards me, 'Dearest love! you whom I so fervently adore,' she added in +the most bewitching tone, 'I only ask of you one moment's patience; one +moment, one single moment! I will love you ten thousand times more +than ever: your compliance now shall never, during my life, be +forgotten.' +</P> + +<P> +"Indignation and astonishment deprived me of the power of utterance. +She renewed her entreaties, and I could not find adequate expressions +to convey my feelings of anger and contempt. But hearing the door of +the ante-chamber open, she grasped with one hand my locks, which were +floating over my shoulders, while she took her toilette mirror in the +other, and with all her strength led me in this manner to the door of +the boudoir, which she opened with her knee, and presented to the +foreigner, who had been prevented by the noise he heard inside from +advancing beyond the middle of the ante-chamber, a spectacle that must +have indeed amazed him. I saw a man extremely well dressed, but with a +particularly ill-favoured countenance. +</P> + +<P> +"Notwithstanding his embarrassment, he made her a profound bow. Manon +gave him no time for speech-making; she held up the mirror before him: +'Look, sir,' said she to him, 'observe yourself minutely, and I only +ask you then to do me justice. You wish me to love you: this is the +man whom I love, and whom I have sworn to love during my whole life: +make the comparison yourself. If you think you can rival him in my +affections, tell me at least upon what pretensions; for I solemnly +declare to you, that, in the estimation of your most obedient humble +servant, all the princes in Italy are not worth a single one of the +hairs I now hold in my hand.' +</P> + +<P> +"During this whimsical harangue, which she had apparently prepared +beforehand, I tried in vain to disengage myself, and feeling compassion +for a person of such consideration, I was desirous, by my politeness at +least, of making some reparation for this little outrage. But +recovering his self-possession with the ease of a man accustomed to the +world, he put an end to my feelings of pity by his reply, which was, in +my opinion, rude enough. +</P> + +<P> +"'Young lady! young lady!' said he to her, with a sardonic smile, 'my +eyes in truth are opened, and I perceive that you are much less of a +novice than I had pictured to myself.' +</P> + +<P> +"He immediately retired without looking at her again, muttering to +himself that the French women were quite as bad as those of Italy. I +felt little desire, on this occasion, to change his opinion of the fair +sex. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon let go my hand, threw herself into an armchair, and made the +room resound with her shouts of laughter. I candidly confess that I +was touched most sensibly by this unexpected proof of her affection, +and by the sacrifice of her own interest which I had just witnessed, +and which she could only have been induced to make by her excessive +love for me. Still, however, I could not help thinking she had gone +rather too far. I reproached her with what I called her indiscretion. +She told me that my rival, after having besieged her for several days +in the Bois de Boulogne, and having made her comprehend his object by +signs and grimaces, had actually made an open declaration of love; +informing her at the same time of his name and all his titles, by means +of a letter, which he had sent through the hands of the coachman who +drove her and her companions; that he had promised her, on the other +side of the Alps, a brilliant fortune and eternal adoration; that she +returned to Chaillot, with the intention of relating to me the whole +adventure, but that, fancying it might be made a source of amusement to +us, she could not help gratifying her whim; that she accordingly +invited the Italian prince, by a flattering note, to pay her a visit; +and that it had afforded her equal delight to make me an accomplice, +without giving me the least suspicion of her plan. I said not a word +of the information I had received through another channel; and the +intoxication of triumphant love made me applaud all she had done." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap09"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +IX +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + 'Twas ever thus;—from childhood's hour<BR> + I've seen my fondest hopes decay;—<BR> + I never loved a tree or flower,<BR> + But it was sure to fade away;<BR> + I never nursed a dear Gazelle,<BR> + To glad me with its dark-blue eye,<BR> + But, when it came to know me well,<BR> + And love me, it was sure to die.<BR> + MOORE.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"During my life I have remarked that fate has invariably chosen for the +time of its severest visitations, those moments when my fortune seemed +established on the firmest basis. In the friendship of M. de T——, +and the tender affections of Manon, I imagined myself so thoroughly +happy, that I could not harbour the slightest apprehension of any new +misfortune: there was one, nevertheless, at this very period impending, +which reduced me to the state in which you beheld me at Passy, and +which eventually brought in its train miseries of so deplorable a +nature, that you will have difficulty in believing the simple recital +that follows. +</P> + +<P> +"One evening, when M. de T—— remained to sup with us, we heard the +sound of a carriage stopping at the door of the inn. Curiosity tempted +us to see who it was that arrived at this hour. They told us it was +young G—— M——, the son of our most vindictive enemy, of that +debauched old sinner who had incarcerated me in St. Lazare, and Manon +in the Hospital. His name made the blood mount to my cheeks. 'It is +Providence that has led him here,' said I to M. de T——, that I may +punish him for the cowardly baseness of his father. He shall not +escape without our measuring swords at least.' M. de T——, who knew +him, and was even one of his most intimate friends, tried to moderate +my feelings of anger towards him. He assured me that he was a most +amiable young man, and so little capable of countenancing his father's +conduct, that I could not be many minutes in his society without +feeling esteem and affection for him. After saying many more things in +his praise, he begged my permission to invite him to come and sit in +our apartment, as well as to share the remainder of our supper. As to +the objection of Manon being exposed by this proceeding to any danger, +he pledged his honour and good faith, that when once the young man +became acquainted with us, we should find in him a most zealous +defender. After such an assurance, I could offer no further opposition. +</P> + +<P> +"M. de T—— did not introduce him without delaying a few moments +outside, to let him know who we were. He certainly came in with an air +that prepossessed us in his favour: he shook hands with me; we sat +down; he admired Manon; he appeared pleased with me, and with +everything that belonged to us; and he ate with an appetite that did +abundant honour to our hospitality. +</P> + +<P> +"When the table was cleared, our conversation became more serious. He +hung down his head while he spoke of his father's conduct towards us. +He made, on his own part, the most submissive excuses. 'I say the less +upon the subject,' said he, 'because I do not wish to recall a +circumstance that fills me with grief and shame.' If he were sincere +in the beginning, he became much more so in the end, for the +conversation had not lasted half an hour, when I perceived that Manon's +charms had made a visible impression upon him. His looks and his +manner became by degrees more tender. He, however, allowed no +expression to escape him; but, without even the aid of jealousy, I had +had experience enough in love affairs to discern what was passing. +</P> + +<P> +"He remained with us till a late hour in the night, and before he took +his leave, congratulated himself on having made our acquaintance, and +begged permission to call and renew the offer of his services. He went +off next morning with M. de T——, who accepted the offer of a seat in +his carriage. +</P> + +<P> +"I felt, as I before said, not the slightest symptom of jealousy: I had +a more foolish confidence than ever in Manon's vows. This dear +creature had so absolute a dominion over my whole soul and affections, +that I could give place to no other sentiment towards her than that of +admiration and love. Far from considering it a crime that she should +have pleased young G—— M——, I was gratified by the effect of her +charms, and experienced only a feeling of pride in being loved by a +girl whom the whole world found so enchanting. I did not even deem it +worth while to mention my suspicions to her. We were for some days +occupied in arranging her new wardrobe, and in considering whether we +might venture to the theatre without the risk of being recognised. M. +de T—— came again to see us before the end of the week, and we +consulted him upon this point. He saw clearly that the way to please +Manon was to say yes: we resolved to go all together that same evening. +</P> + +<P> +"We were not able, however, to carry this intention into effect; for, +having taken me aside, 'I have been in the greatest embarrassment,' +said he to me, 'since I saw you, and that is the cause of my visiting +you today. G—— M—— is in love with your mistress: he told me so in +confidence; I am his intimate friend, and disposed to do him any +service in my power; but I am not less devoted to you; his designs +appeared to me unjustifiable, and I expressed my disapprobation of +them; I should not have divulged his secret, if he had only intended to +use fair and ordinary means for gaining Manon's affections; but he is +aware of her capricious disposition; he has learned, God knows how, +that her ruling passion is for affluence and pleasure; and, as he is +already in possession of a considerable fortune, he declared his +intention of tempting her at once with a present of great value, and +the offer of an annuity of six thousand francs; if I had in all other +points considered you both in an equal light, I should have had perhaps +to do more violence to my feelings in betraying him: but a sense of +justice as well as of friendship was on your side, and the more so from +having been myself the imprudent, though unconscious, cause of his +passion in introducing him here. I feel it my duty therefore to avert +any evil consequences from the mischief I have inadvertently caused. +</P> + +<P> +"I thanked M. de T—— for rendering me so important a service, and +confessed to him, in a like spirit of confidence, that Manon's +disposition was precisely what G—— M—— had imagined; that is to +say, that she was incapable of enduring even the thought of poverty. +'However,' said I to him, 'when it is a mere question of more or less, +I do not believe that she would give me up for any other person; I can +afford to let her want for nothing, and I have from day to day reason +to hope that my fortune will improve; I only dread one thing,' +continued I, 'which is, that G—— M—— may take unfair advantage of +the knowledge he has of our place of residence, and bring us into +trouble by disclosing it.' +</P> + +<P> +"M. de T—— assured me that I might be perfectly easy upon that head; +that G—— M—— might be capable of a silly passion, but not of an act +of baseness; that if he ever could be villain enough for such a thing, +he, de T——, would be the first to punish him, and by that means make +reparation for the mischief he had occasioned. 'I feel grateful for +what you say,' said I, 'but the mischief will have been all done, and +the remedy even seems doubtful; the wisest plan therefore will be to +quit Chaillot, and go to reside elsewhere.' 'Very true,' said M. de +T——, 'but you will not be able to do it quickly enough, for G—— +M—— is to be here at noon; he told me so yesterday, and it was that +intelligence that made me come so early this morning to inform you of +his intentions. You may expect him every moment.'" +</P> + +<P> +"The urgency of the occasion made me view this matter in a more serious +light. As it seemed to me impossible to escape the visit of G—— +M——, and perhaps equally so to prevent him from making his +declaration to Manon, I resolved to tell her beforehand of the designs +of my new rival. I fancied that when she knew I was aware of the +offers that would be made to her, and made probably in my presence, she +would be the more likely to reject them. I told M. de T—— of my +intention, and he observed that he thought it a matter of extreme +delicacy. 'I admit it,' said I, 'but no man ever had more reason for +confiding in a mistress, than I have for relying on the affection of +mine. The only thing that could possibly for a moment blind her, is +the splendour of his offers; no doubt she loves her ease, but she loves +me also; and in my present circumstances, I cannot believe that she +would abandon me for the son of the man who had incarcerated her in the +Magdalen.' In fine, I persisted in my intentions, and taking Manon +aside, I candidly told her what I had learned. +</P> + +<P> +"She thanked me for the good opinion I entertained of her, and promised +to receive G—— M——'s offers in a way that should prevent a +repetition of them. 'No,' said I, 'you must not irritate him by +incivility: he has it in his power to injure us. But you know well +enough, you little rogue,' continued I, smiling, 'how to rid yourself +of a disagreeable or useless lover!' After a moment's pause she said: +'I have just thought of an admirable plan, and I certainly have a +fertile invention. G—— M—— is the son of our bitterest enemy: we +must avenge ourselves on the father, not through the son's person, but +through his purse. My plan is to listen to his proposals, accept his +presents, and then laugh at him.' +</P> + +<P> +"'The project is not a bad one,' said I to her; 'but you forget, my +dear child, that it is precisely the same course that conducted us +formerly to the penitentiary.' I represented to her the danger of such +an enterprise; she replied, that the only thing necessary was to take +our measures with caution, and she found an answer to every objection I +started. 'Show me the lover who does not blindly humour every whim of +an adored mistress, and I will then allow that I was wrong in yielding +so easily on this occasion.' The resolution was taken to make a dupe +of G——M——, and by an unforeseen and unlucky turn of fortune, I +became the victim myself. +</P> + +<P> +"About eleven o'clock his carriage drove up to the door. He made the +most complaisant and refined speeches upon the liberty he had taken of +coming to dine with us uninvited. He was not surprised at meeting M. +de T——, who had the night before promised to meet him there, and who +had, under some pretext or other, refused a seat in his carriage. +Although there was not a single person in the party who was not at +heart meditating treachery, we all sat down with an air of mutual +confidence and friendship. G—— M—— easily found an opportunity of +declaring his sentiments to Manon. I did not wish to annoy him by +appearing vigilant, so I left the room purposely for several minutes. +</P> + +<P> +"I perceived on my return that he had not had to encounter any very +discouraging austerity on Manon's part, for he was in the best possible +spirits. I affected good humour also. He was laughing in his mind at +my simplicity, while I was not less diverted by his own. During the +whole evening we were thus supplying to each other an inexhaustible +fund of amusement. I contrived, before his departure, to let him have +Manon for another moment to himself; so that he had reason to applaud +my complaisance, as well as the hospitable reception I had given him. +</P> + +<P> +"As soon as he got into his carriage with M. de T——, Manon ran +towards me with extended arms, and embraced me; laughing all the while +immoderately. She repeated all his speeches and proposals, without +altering a word. This was the substance: He of course adored her; and +wished to share with her a large fortune of which he was already in +possession, without counting what he was to inherit at his father's +death. She should be sole mistress of his heart and fortune; and as an +immediate token of his liberality, he was ready at once to supply her +with an equipage, a furnished house, a lady's maid, three footmen, and +a man-cook. +</P> + +<P> +"'There is indeed a son,' said I, 'very different from his father! But +tell me truly, now, does not such an offer tempt you?' 'Me!' she +replied, adapting to the idea two verses from Racine— +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + Moi! vous me soupconnez de cette perfidie?<BR> + Moi! je pourrais souffrir un visage odieux,<BR> + Qui rappelle toujours l'Hopital a mes yeux?<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +'No!' replied I, continuing the parody— +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + J'aurais peine a penser que l'Hopital, madame,<BR> + Fut un trait dont l'amour l'eut grave dans votre ame.<BR> +</P> + +<P CLASS="noindent"> +'But it assuredly is a temptation—a furnished house, a lady's maid, a +cook, a carriage, and three servants—gallantry can offer but few more +seductive temptations.' +</P> + +<P> +"She protested that her heart was entirely mine, and that it was for +the future only open to the impressions I chose to make upon it. 'I +look upon his promises,' said she, 'as an instrument for revenge, +rather than as a mark of love.' I asked her if she thought of +accepting the hotel and the carriage. She replied that his money was +all she wanted." +</P> + +<P> +The difficulty was, how to obtain the one without the other; we +resolved to wait for a detailed explanation of the whole project in a +letter which G—— M—— promised to write to her, and which in fact +she received next morning by a servant out of livery, who, very +cleverly, contrived an opportunity of speaking to her alone. +</P> + +<P> +She told him to wait for an answer, and immediately brought the letter +to me: we opened it together. +</P> + +<P> +"Passing over the usual commonplace expressions of tenderness, it gave +a particular detail of my rival's promises. There were no limits to +the expense. He engaged to pay her down ten thousand francs on her +taking possession of the hotel, and to supply her expenditure in such a +way as that she should never have less than that sum at her command. +The appointed day for her entering into possession was close at hand. +He only required two days for all his preparations, and he mentioned +the name of the street and the hotel, where he promised to be in +waiting for her in the afternoon of the second day, if she could manage +to escape my vigilance. That was the only point upon which he begged +of her to relieve his uneasiness; he seemed to be quite satisfied upon +every other: but he added that, if she apprehended any difficulty in +escaping from me, he could find sure means for facilitating her flight. +</P> + +<P> +"G—— M—— the younger was more cunning than the old gentleman. He +wanted to secure his prey before he counted out the cash. We +considered what course Manon should adopt. I made another effort to +induce her to give up the scheme, and strongly represented all its +dangers; nothing, however, could shake her determination. +</P> + +<P> +"Her answer to G—— M—— was brief, merely assuring him that she +could be, without the least difficulty, in Paris on the appointed day +and that he might expect her with certainty. +</P> + +<P> +"We then resolved, that I should instantly hire lodgings in some +village on the other side of Paris, and that I should take our luggage +with me; that in the afternoon of the following day, which was the time +appointed, she should go to Paris; that, after receiving G—— M——'s +presents, she should earnestly entreat him to take her to the theatre; +that she should carry with her as large a portion of the money as she +could, and charge my servant with the remainder, for it was agreed that +he was to accompany her. He was the man who had rescued her from the +Magdalen, and he was devotedly attached to us. I was to be with a +hackney-coach at the end of the street of St. Andre-des-arcs, and to +leave it there about seven o'clock, while I stole, under cover of the +twilight, to the door of the theatre. Manon promised to make some +excuse for quitting her box for a moment, when she would come down and +join me. The rest could be easily done. We were then to return to my +hackney-coach, and quit Paris by the Faubourg St. Antoine, which was +the road to our new residence. +</P> + +<P> +"This plan, extravagant as it was, appeared to us satisfactorily +arranged. But our greatest folly was in imagining that, succeed as we +might in its execution, it would be possible for us to escape the +consequences. Nevertheless, we exposed ourselves to all risk with the +blindest confidence. Manon took her departure with Marcel—so was the +servant called. I could not help feeling a pang as she took leave of +me. 'Manon,' said I, 'do not deceive me; will you be faithful to me?' +She complained, in the tenderest tone, of my want of confidence, and +renewed all her protestations of eternal love. +</P> + +<P> +"She was to be in Paris at three o'clock. I went some time after. I +spent the remainder of the afternoon moping in the Cafe de Fere, near +the Pont St. Michel. I remained there till nightfall. I then hired a +hackney-coach, which I placed, according to our plan, at the end of the +street of St. Andre-des-arcs, and went on foot to the door of the +theatre. I was surprised at not seeing Marcel, who was to have been +there waiting for me. I waited patiently for a full hour, standing +among a crowd of lackeys, and gazing at every person that passed. At +length, seven o'clock having struck, without my being able to discover +anything or any person connected with our project, I procured a pit +ticket, in order to ascertain if Manon and G—— M—— were in the +boxes. Neither one nor the other could I find. I returned to the door, +where I again stopped for a quarter of an hour, in an agony of +impatience and uneasiness. No person appeared, and I went back to the +coach, without knowing what to conjecture. The coachman, seeing me, +advanced a few paces towards me, and said, with a mysterious air, that +a very handsome young person had been waiting more than an hour for me +in the coach; that she described me so exactly that he could not be +mistaken, and having learned that I intended to return, she said she +would enter the coach and wait with patience. +</P> + +<P> +"I felt confident that it was Manon. I approached. I beheld a very +pretty face, certainly, but alas, not hers. The lady asked, in a voice +that I had never before heard, whether she had the honour of speaking +to the Chevalier des Grieux? I answered, 'That is my name.' 'I have a +letter for you,' said she, 'which will tell you what has brought me +here, and by what means I learned your name.' I begged she would allow +me a few moments to read it in an adjoining cafe. She proposed to +follow me, and advised me to ask for a private room, to which I +consented. 'Who is the writer of this letter?' I enquired. She +referred me to the letter itself. +</P> + +<P> +"I recognised Manon's hand. This is nearly the substance of the +letter: G—— M—— had received her with a politeness and +magnificence beyond anything she had previously conceived. He had +loaded her with the most gorgeous presents. She had the prospect of +almost imperial splendour. She assured me, however, that she could not +forget me amidst all this magnificence; but that, not being able to +prevail on G—— M—— to take her that evening to the play, she was +obliged to defer the pleasure of seeing me; and that, as a slight +consolation for the disappointment which she feared this might cause +me, she had found a messenger in one of the loveliest girls in all +Paris. She signed herself, 'Your loving and constant, MANON LESCAUT.' +</P> + +<P> +"There was something so cruel and so insulting in the letter, that, +what between indignation and grief, I resolutely determined to forget +eternally my ungrateful and perjured mistress. I looked at the young +woman who stood before me: she was exceedingly pretty, and I could have +wished that she had been sufficiently so to render me inconstant in my +turn. But there were wanting those lovely and languishing eyes, that +divine gracefulness, that exquisite complexion, in fine, those +innumerable charms which nature had so profusely lavished upon the +perfidious Manon. 'No, no,' said I, turning away from her; 'the +ungrateful wretch who sent you knew in her heart that she was sending +you on a useless errand. Return to her; and tell her from me, to +triumph in her crime, and enjoy it, if she can, without remorse. I +abandon her in despair, and, at the same time, renounce all women, who, +without her fascination, are no doubt her equals in baseness and +infidelity.' +</P> + +<P> +"I was then on the point of going away, determined never to bestow +another thought on Manon: the mortal jealousy that was racking my heart +lay concealed under a dark and sullen melancholy, and I fancied, +because I felt none of those violent emotions which I had experienced +upon former occasions, that I had shaken off my thraldom. Alas! I was +even at that moment infinitely more the dupe of love, than of G—— +M—— and Manon. +</P> + +<P> +"The girl who had brought the letter, seeing me about to depart, asked +me what I wished her to say to M. G—— M——, and to the lady who was +with him? At this question, I stepped back again into the room, and by +one of those unaccountable transitions that are only known to the +victims of violent passion, I passed in an instant from the state of +subdued tranquillity which I have just described, into an ungovernable +fury 'Away!' said I to her, 'tell the traitor G—— M——and his +abandoned mistress the state of despair into which your accursed +mission has cast me; but warn them that it shall not be long a source +of amusement to them, and that my own hands shall be warmed with the +heart's blood of both!' I sank back upon a chair; my hat fell on one +side, and my cane upon the other: torrents of bitter tears rolled down +my cheeks. The paroxysm of rage changed into a profound and silent +grief: I did nothing but weep and sigh. 'Approach, my child, +approach,' said I to the young girl; 'approach, since it is you they +have sent to bring me comfort; tell me whether you have any balm to +administer for the pangs of despair and rage—any argument to offer +against the crime of self-destruction, which I have resolved upon, +after ridding the world of two perfidious monsters. Yes, approach,' +continued I, perceiving that she advanced with timid and doubtful +steps; 'come and dry my sorrows; come and restore peace to my mind; +come and tell me that at least you love me: you are handsome—I may +perhaps love you in return.' The poor child, who was only sixteen or +seventeen years of age, and who appeared more modest than girls of her +class generally are, was thunderstruck at this unusual scene. She +however gently approached to caress me, when with uplifted hands I +rudely repulsed her. 'What do you wish with me?' exclaimed I to her. +'Ah! you are a woman, and of a sex I abhor, and can no longer tolerate; +the very gentleness of your look threatens me with some new treason. +Go, leave me here alone!' She made me a curtsy without uttering a +word, and turned to go out. I called to her to stop: 'Tell me at +least,' said I, 'wherefore—how—with what design they sent you here? +how did you discover my name, or the place where you could find me?' +</P> + +<P> +"She told me that she had long known M. G—— M——; that he had sent +for her that evening about five o'clock; and that, having followed the +servant who had been dispatched to her, she was shown into a large +house, where she found him playing at picquet with a beautiful young +woman; and that they both charged her to deliver the letter into my +hands, after telling her that she would find me in a hackney-coach at +the bottom of the street of St. Andre. I asked if they had said +nothing more. She blushed while she replied, that they had certainly +made her believe that I should be glad of her society. 'They have +deceived you too,' said I, 'my poor girl—they have deceived you; you +are a woman, and probably wish for a lover; but you must find one who +is rich and happy, and it is not here you will find him. Return, +return to M. G—— M——; he possesses everything requisite to make a +man beloved. He has furnished houses and equipages to bestow, while I, +who have nothing but constancy of love to offer, am despised for my +poverty, and laughed at for my simplicity.' +</P> + +<P> +"I continued in a tone of sorrow or violence, as these feelings +alternately took possession of my mind. However, by the very excess of +my agitation, I became gradually so subdued as to be able calmly to +reflect upon the situation of affairs. I compared this new misfortune +with those which I had already experienced of the same kind, and I +could not perceive that there was any more reason for despair now, than +upon former occasions. I knew Manon: why then distress myself on +account of a calamity which I could not but have plainly foreseen? Why +not rather think of seeking a remedy? there was yet time; I at least +ought not to spare my own exertions, if I wished to avoid the bitter +reproach of having contributed, by my own indolence, to my misery. I +thereupon set about considering every means of raising a gleam of hope. +</P> + +<P> +"To attempt to take her by main force from the hands of G——M—— was +too desperate a project, calculated only to ruin me, and without the +slightest probability of succeeding. But it seemed to me that if I +could ensure a moment's interview with her, I could not fail to regain +my influence over her affections. I so well knew how to excite her +sensibilities! I was so confident of her love for me! The very whim +even of sending me a pretty woman by way of consoling me, I would stake +my existence, was her idea, and that it was the suggestion of her own +sincere sympathy for my sufferings. +</P> + +<P> +"I resolved to exert every nerve to procure an interview. After a +multitude of plans which I canvassed one after another, I fixed upon +the following: M. de T—— had shown so much sincerity in the services +he had rendered me, that I could not entertain a doubt of his zeal and +good faith. I proposed to call upon him at once, and make him send for +G—— M——, under pretence of some important business. Half an hour +would suffice to enable me to see Manon. I thought it would not be +difficult to get introduced into her apartment during G—— M——'s +absence. +</P> + +<P> +"This determination pacified me, and I gave a liberal present to the +girl, who was still with me; and in order to prevent her from returning +to those who had sent her, I took down her address, and half promised +to call upon her at a later hour. I then got into the hackney-coach, +and drove quickly to M. de T——'s. I was fortunate enough to find him +at home. I had been apprehensive upon this point as I went along. A +single sentence put him in possession of the whole case, as well of my +sufferings, as of the friendly service I had come to supplicate at his +hands. +</P> + +<P> +"He was so astonished to learn that G—— M—— had been able to seduce +Manon from me, that, not being aware that I had myself lent a hand to +my own misfortune, he generously offered to assemble his friends, and +evoke their aid for the deliverance of my mistress. I told him that +such a proceeding might by its publicity be attended with danger to +Manon and to me. 'Let us risk our lives,' said I, 'only as a last +resource. My plan is of a more peaceful nature, and promising at least +equal success.' He entered without a murmur into all that I proposed; +so again stating that all I required was, that he should send for G—— +M——, and contrive to keep him an hour or two from home, we at once +set about our operations. +</P> + +<P> +"We first of all considered what expedient we could make use of for +keeping him out so long a time. I proposed that he should write a note +dated from a cafe, begging of him to come there as soon as possible +upon an affair of too urgent importance to admit of delay. 'I will +watch,' added I, 'the moment he quits the house, and introduce myself +without any difficulty, being only known to Manon, and my servant +Marcel. You can at the same time tell G—— M——, that the important +affair upon which you wished to see him was the immediate want of a sum +of money; that you had just emptied your purse at play, and that you +had played on, with continued bad luck, upon credit. He will require +some time to take you to his father's house, where he keeps his money, +and I shall have quite sufficient for the execution of my plan.' +</P> + +<P> +"M. de T—— minutely adhered to these directions. I left him in a +cafe, where he at once wrote his letter. I took my station close by +Manon's house. I saw de T——'s messenger arrive, and G—— M—— come +out the next moment, followed by a servant. Allowing him barely time to +get out of the street, I advanced to my deceiver's door, and +notwithstanding the anger I felt, I knocked with as much respect as at +the portal of a church. Fortunately it was Marcel who opened for me. +Although I had nothing to apprehend from the other servants, I asked +him in a low voice if he could conduct me unseen into the room in which +Manon was. He said that was easily done, by merely ascending the great +staircase. 'Come then at once,' said I to him, 'and endeavour to +prevent anyone from coming up while I am there.' I reached the +apartment without any difficulty. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon was reading. I had there an opportunity of admiring the +singular character of this girl. Instead of being nervous or alarmed +at my appearance, she scarcely betrayed a symptom of surprise, which +few persons, however indifferent, could restrain, on seeing one whom +they imagined to be far distant. 'Ah! it is you, my dear love,' said +she, approaching to embrace me with her usual tenderness. 'Good +heavens, how venturesome and foolhardy you are! Who could have +expected to see you in this place!' Instead of embracing her in return, +I repulsed her with indignation, and retreated two or three paces from +her. This evidently disconcerted her. She remained immovable, and +fixed her eyes on me, while she changed colour. +</P> + +<P> +"I was in reality so delighted to behold her once more, that, with so +much real cause for anger, I could hardly bring my lips to upbraid her. +My heart, however, felt the cruel outrage she had inflicted upon me. I +endeavoured to revive the recollection of it in my own mind, in order +to excite my feelings, and put on a look of stern indignation. I +remained silent for a few moments, when I remarked that she observed my +agitation, and trembled: apparently the effect of her fears. +</P> + +<P> +"I could not longer endure this spectacle. 'Ah! Manon,' said I to her +in the mildest tone, 'faithless and perjured Manon! How am I to +complain of your conduct? I see you pale and trembling, and I am still +so much alive to your slightest sufferings, that I am unwilling to add +to them by my reproaches. But, Manon, I tell you that my heart is +pierced with sorrow at your treatment of me—treatment that is seldom +inflicted but with the purpose of destroying one's life. This is the +third time, Manon; I have kept a correct account; it is impossible to +forget that. It is now for you to consider what course you will adopt; +for my afflicted heart is no longer capable of sustaining such shocks. +I know and feel that it must give way, and it is at this moment ready +to burst with grief. I can say no more,' added I, throwing myself into +a chair; 'I have hardly strength to speak, or to support myself.' +</P> + +<P> +"She made me no reply; but when I was seated, she sank down upon her +knees, and rested her head upon my lap, covering her face with her +hands. I perceived in a moment that she was shedding floods of tears. +Heavens! with what conflicting sensations was I at that instant +agitated! 'Ah! Manon, Manon,' said I, sighing, 'it is too late to give +me tears after the death-blow you have inflicted. You affect a sorrow +which you cannot feel. The greatest of your misfortunes is no doubt my +presence, which has been always an obstacle to your happiness. Open +your eyes; look up and see who it is that is here; you will not throw +away tears of tenderness upon an unhappy wretch whom you have betrayed +and abandoned.' +</P> + +<P> +"She kissed my hands without changing her position. 'Inconstant +Manon,' said I again, 'ungrateful and faithless girl, where now are all +your promises and your vows? Capricious and cruel that you are! what +has now become of the love that you protested for me this very day? +Just Heavens,' added I, 'is it thus you permit a traitor to mock you, +after having called you so solemnly to witness her vows! Recompense +and reward then are for the perjured! Despair and neglect are the lot +of fidelity and truth!' +</P> + +<P> +"These words conveyed even to my own mind a sentiment so bitterly +severe, that, in spite of myself, some tears escaped from me. Manon +perceived this by the change in my voice. She at length spoke. 'I +must have indeed done something most culpable,' said she, sobbing with +grief, 'to have excited and annoyed you to this degree; but, I call +Heaven to attest my utter unconsciousness of crime, and my innocence of +all criminal intention!' +</P> + +<P> +"This speech struck me as so devoid of reason and of truth, that I +could not restrain a lively feeling of anger. 'Horrible hypocrisy!' +cried I; 'I see more plainly than ever that you are dishonest and +treacherous. Now at length I learn your wretched disposition. Adieu, +base creature,' said I, rising from my seat; 'I would prefer death a +thousand times rather than continue to hold the slightest communication +with you. May Heaven punish me, if I ever again waste upon you the +smallest regard! Live on with your new lover—renounce all feelings of +honour—detest me—your love is now a matter to me of utter +insignificance!' +</P> + +<P> +"Manon was so terrified by the violence of my anger, that, remaining on +her knees by the chair from which I had just before risen, breathless +and trembling, she fixed her eyes upon me. I advanced a little farther +towards the door, but, unless I had lost the last spark of humanity, I +could not continue longer unmoved by such a spectacle. +</P> + +<P> +"So far, indeed, was I from this kind of stoical indifference, that, +rushing at once into the very opposite extreme, I returned, or rather +flew back to her without an instant's reflection. I lifted her in my +arms; I gave her a thousand tender kisses; I implored her to pardon my +ungovernable temper; I confessed that I was an absolute brute, and +unworthy of being loved by such an angel. +</P> + +<P> +"I made her sit down, and throwing myself, in my turn, upon my knees, I +conjured her to listen to me in that attitude. Then I briefly +expressed all that a submissive and impassioned lover could say most +tender and respectful. I supplicated her pardon. She let her arms fall +over my neck, as she said that it was she who stood in need of +forgiveness, and begged of me in mercy to forget all the annoyances she +had caused me, and that she began, with reason, to fear that I should +not approve of what she had to say in her justification. 'Me!' said I +interrupting her impatiently; 'I require no justification; I approve of +all you have done. It is not for me to demand excuses for anything you +do; I am but too happy, too contented, if my dear Manon will only leave +me master of her affections! But,' continued I, remembering that it +was the crisis of my fate, 'may I not, Manon, all-powerful Manon, you +who wield at your pleasure my joys and sorrows, may I not be permitted, +after having conciliated you by my submission and all the signs of +repentance, to speak to you now of my misery and distress? May I now +learn from your own lips what my destiny is to be, and whether you are +resolved to sign my death-warrant, by spending even a single night with +my rival?' +</P> + +<P> +"She considered a moment before she replied. 'My good chevalier,' said +she, resuming the most tranquil tone, 'if you had only at first +explained yourself thus distinctly, you would have spared yourself a +world of trouble, and prevented a scene that has really annoyed me. +Since your distress is the result of jealousy, I could at first have +cured that by offering to accompany you where you pleased. But I +imagined it was caused by the letter which I was obliged to write in +the presence of G—— M——, and of the girl whom we sent with it. I +thought you might have construed that letter into a mockery; and have +fancied that, by sending such a messenger, I meant to announce my +abandonment of you for the sake of G—— M——. It was this idea that +at once overwhelmed me with grief; for, innocent as I knew myself to +be, I could not but allow that appearances were against me. However,' +continued she, 'I will leave you to judge of my conduct, after I shall +have explained the whole truth.' +</P> + +<P> +"She then told me all that had occurred to her after joining G—— +M——, whom she found punctually awaiting her arrival. He had in fact +received her in the most princely style. He showed her through all the +apartments, which were fitted up in the neatest and most correct taste. +He had counted out to her in her boudoir ten thousand francs, as well +as a quantity of jewels, amongst which were the identical pearl +necklace and bracelets which she had once before received as a present +from his father. He then led her into a splendid room, which she had +not before seen, and in which an exquisite collation was served; she +was waited upon by the new servants, whom he had hired purposely for +her, and whom he now desired to consider themselves as exclusively her +attendants; the carriage and the horses were afterwards paraded, and he +then proposed a game of cards, until supper should be announced. +</P> + +<P> +"'I acknowledge,' continued Manon, 'that I was dazzled by all this +magnificence. It struck me that it would be madness to sacrifice at +once so many good things for the mere sake of carrying off the money +and the jewels already in my possession; that it was a certain fortune +made for both you and me, and that we might pass the remainder of our +lives most agreeably and comfortably at the expense of G—— M——. +</P> + +<P> +"'Instead of proposing the theatre, I thought it more prudent to sound +his feelings with regard to you, in order to ascertain what facilities +we should have for meeting in future, on the supposition that I could +carry my project into effect. I found him of a most tractable +disposition. He asked me how I felt towards you, and if I had not +experienced some compunction at quitting you. I told him that you were +so truly amiable, and had ever treated me with such undeviating +kindness, that it was impossible I could hate you. He admitted that +you were a man of merit, and expressed an ardent desire to gain your +friendship. +</P> + +<P> +"'He was anxious to know how I thought you would take my elopement, +particularly when you should learn that I was in his hands. I +answered, that our love was of such long standing as to have had time +to moderate a little; that, besides, you were not in very easy +circumstances, and would probably not consider my departure as any +severe misfortune, inasmuch as it would relieve you from a burden of no +very insignificant nature. I added that, being perfectly convinced you +would take the whole matter rationally, I had not hesitated to tell you +that I had some business in Paris; but you had at once consented, and +that having accompanied me yourself, you did not seem very uneasy when +we separated. +</P> + +<P> +"'If I thought,' said he to me, 'that he could bring himself to live on +good terms with me, I should be too happy to make him a tender of my +services and attentions.' I assured him that, from what I knew of your +disposition, I had no doubt you would acknowledge his kindness in a +congenial spirit: especially, I added, if he could assist you in your +affairs, which had become embarrassed since your disagreement with your +family. He interrupted me by declaring, that he would gladly render +you any service in his power, and that if you were disposed to form a +new attachment, he would introduce you to an extremely pretty woman, +whom he had just given up for me. +</P> + +<P> +"'I approved of all he said,' she added, 'for fear of exciting any +suspicions; and being more and more satisfied of the feasibility of my +scheme, I only longed for an opportunity of letting you into it, lest +you should be alarmed at my not keeping my appointment. With this view +I suggested the idea of sending this young lady to you, in order to +have an opportunity of writing; I was obliged to have recourse to this +plan, because I could not see a chance of his leaving me to myself for +a moment.' +</P> + +<P> +"'He was greatly amused with my proposition; he called his valet, and +asking him whether he could immediately find his late mistress, he +dispatched him at once in search of her. He imagined that she would +have to go to Chaillot to meet you, but I told him that, when we +parted, I promised to meet you again at the theatre, or that, if +anything should prevent me from going there, you were to wait for me in +a coach at the end of the street of St. Andre; that consequently it +would be best to send your new love there, if it were only to save you +from the misery of suspense during the whole night. I said it would be +also necessary to write you a line of explanation, without which you +would probably be puzzled by the whole transaction. He consented; but +I was obliged to write in his presence; and I took especial care not to +explain matters too palpably in my letter. +</P> + +<P> +"'This is the history,' said Manon, 'of the entire affair. I conceal +nothing from you, of either my conduct or my intentions. The girl +arrived; I thought her handsome; and as I doubted not that you would be +mortified by my absence, I did most sincerely hope that she would be +able to dissipate something of your ennui: for it is the fidelity of +the heart alone that I value. I should have been too delighted to have +sent Marcel, but I could not for a single instant find an opportunity +of telling him what I wished to communicate to you.' She finished her +story by describing the embarrassment into which M. de T——'s letter +had thrown G—— M——; 'he hesitated,' said she, 'about leaving, and +assured me that he should not be long absent; and it is on this account +that I am uneasy at seeing you here, and that I betrayed, at your +appearance, some slight feeling of surprise.' +</P> + +<P> +"I listened to her with great patience. There were certainly parts of +her recital sufficiently cruel and mortifying; for the intention, at +least, of the infidelity was so obvious, that she had not even taken +the trouble to disguise it. She could never have imagined that G—— +M—— meant to venerate her as a vestal. She must therefore clearly +have made up her mind to pass at least one night with him. What an +avowal for a lover's ears! However, I considered myself as partly the +cause of her guilt, by having been the first to let her know G—— +M——'s sentiments towards her, and by the silly readiness with which I +entered into this rash project. Besides, by a natural bent of my mind, +peculiar I believe to myself, I was duped by the ingenuousness of her +story—by that open and winning manner with which she related even the +circumstances most calculated to annoy me. 'There is nothing of wanton +vice,' said I to myself, 'in her transgressions; she is volatile and +imprudent, but she is sincere and affectionate.' My love alone +rendered me blind to all her faults. I was enchanted at the prospect +of rescuing her that very night from my rival. I said to her: 'With +whom do you mean to pass the night?' She was evidently disconcerted by +the question, and answered me in an embarrassed manner with BUTS and +IFS. +</P> + +<P> +"I felt for her, and interrupted her by saying that I at once expected +her to accompany me. +</P> + +<P> +"'Nothing can give me more pleasure,' said she; 'but you don't approve +then of my project?' +</P> + +<P> +"'Is it not enough,' replied I, 'that I approve of all that you have, +up to this moment, done?' +</P> + +<P> +"'What,' said she, 'are we not even to take the ten thousand francs +with us? Why, he gave me the money; it is mine.' +</P> + +<P> +"I advised her to leave everything, and let us think only of escaping +for although I had been hardly half an hour with her, I began to dread +the return of G—— M——. However, she so earnestly urged me to +consent to our going out with something in our pockets, that I thought +myself bound to make her, on my part, some concession, in return for +all she yielded to me. +</P> + +<P> +"While we were getting ready for our departure, I heard someone knock +at the street door. I felt convinced that it must be G—— M——; and +in the heat of the moment, I told Manon, that as sure as he appeared I +would take his life. In truth, I felt that I was not sufficiently +recovered from my late excitement to be able to restrain my fury if I +met him. Marcel put an end to my uneasiness, by handing me a letter +which he had received for me at the door; it was from M. de T——. +</P> + +<P> +"He told me that, as G—— M—— had gone to his father's house for the +money which he wanted, he had taken advantage of his absence to +communicate to me an amusing idea that had just come into his head; +that it appeared to him, I could not possibly take a more agreeable +revenge upon my rival, than by eating his supper, and spending the +night in the very bed which he had hoped to share with my mistress; all +this seemed to him easy enough, if I could only find two or three men +upon whom I could depend, of courage sufficient to stop him in the +street, and detain him in custody until next morning; that he would +undertake to keep him occupied for another hour at least, under some +pretext, which he could devise before G—— M——'s return. +</P> + +<P> +"I showed the note to Manon; I told her at the same time of the manner +in which I had procured the interview with her. My scheme, as well as +the new one of M. de T——'s, delighted her: we laughed heartily at it +for some minutes; but when I treated it as a mere joke, I was surprised +at her insisting seriously upon it, as a thing perfectly practicable, +and too delightful to be neglected. In vain I enquired where she +thought I could possibly find, on a sudden, men fit for such an +adventure? and on whom I could rely for keeping G—— M—— in strict +custody? She said that I should at least try, as M. de T—— ensured +us yet a full hour; and as to my other objections, she said that I was +playing the tyrant, and did not show the slightest indulgence to her +fancies. She said that it was impossible there could be a more +enchanting project. 'You will have his place at supper; you will sleep +in his bed; and tomorrow, as early as you like, you can walk off with +both his mistress and his money. You may thus, at one blow, be amply +revenged upon father and son.' +</P> + +<P> +"I yielded to her entreaties, in spite of the secret misgivings of my +own mind, which seemed to forebode the unhappy catastrophe that +afterwards befell me. I went out with the intention of asking two or +three guardsmen, with whom Lescaut had made me acquainted, to undertake +the arrest of G—— M——. I found only one of them at home, but he +was a fellow ripe for any adventure; and he no sooner heard our plan, +than he assured me of certain success: all he required were six +pistoles, to reward the three private soldiers whom he determined to +employ in the business. I begged of him to lose no time. He got them +together in less than a quarter of an hour. I waited at his lodgings +till he returned with them, and then conducted him to the corner of a +street through which I knew G—— M—— must pass in going back to +Manon's house. I requested him not to treat G—— M—— roughly, but +to keep him confined, and so strictly watched, until seven o'clock next +morning, that I might be free from all apprehension of his escape. He +told me his intention was to bring him a prisoner to his own room, and +make him undress and sleep in his bed, while he and his gallant +comrades should spend the night in drinking and playing. +</P> + +<P> +"I remained with them until we saw G—— M—— returning homewards; and +I then withdrew a few steps into a dark recess in the street, to enjoy +so entertaining and extraordinary a scene. The officer challenged him +with a pistol to his breast, and then told him, in a civil tone, that +he did not want either his money or his life; but that if he hesitated +to follow him, or if he gave the slightest alarm, he would blow his +brains out. G—— M——, seeing that his assailant was supported by +three soldiers, and perhaps not uninfluenced by a dread of the pistol, +yielded without further resistance. I saw him led away like a lamb." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap10"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +X +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + What lost a world, and bade a hero fly?<BR> + The timid tear in Cleopatra's eye.<BR> + Yet be the soft triumvir's fault forgiven,<BR> + By this, how many lose—not earth—but heaven!<BR> + Consign their souls to man's eternal foe,<BR> + And seal their own, to spare some wanton's, woe!<BR> + BYRON.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +I soon returned to Manon; and to prevent the servants from having any +suspicion, I told her in their hearing, that she need not expect M. +G—— M—— to supper; that he was most reluctantly occupied with +business which detained him, and that he had commissioned me to come +and make his excuses, and to fill his place at the supper table; which, +in the company of so beautiful a lady, I could not but consider a very +high honour. She seconded me with her usual adroitness. We sat down +to supper. I put on the most serious air I could assume, while the +servants were in the room, and at length having got rid of them, we +passed, beyond all comparison, the most agreeable evening of my life. +I gave Marcel orders to find a hackney-coach, and engage it to be at +the gate on the following morning a little before six o'clock. I +pretended to take leave of Manon about midnight, but easily gaining +admission again, through Marcel, I proceeded to occupy G—— M——'s +bed, as I had filled his place at the supper table. +</P> + +<P> +"In the meantime our evil genius was at work for our destruction. We +were like children enjoying the success of our silly scheme, while the +sword hung suspended over our heads. The thread which upheld it was +just about to break; but the better to understand all the circumstances +of our ruin, it is necessary to know the immediate cause. +</P> + +<P> +"G—— M—— was followed by a servant, when he was stopped by my +friend the guardsman. Alarmed by what he saw, this fellow retraced his +steps, and the first thing he did was to go and inform old G—— M—— +of what had just happened. +</P> + +<P> +"Such a piece of news, of course, excited him greatly. This was his +only son; and considering the old gentleman's advanced age, he was +extremely active and ardent. He first enquired of the servant what his +son had been doing that afternoon; whether he had had any quarrel on +his own account, or interfered in any other; whether he had been in any +suspicious house. The lackey, who fancied his master in imminent +danger, and thought he ought not to have any reserve in such an +emergency, disclosed at once all that he knew of his connection with +Manon, and of the expense he had gone to on her account; the manner in +which he had passed the afternoon with her until about nine o'clock, +the circumstance of his leaving her, and the outrage he encountered on +his return. This was enough to convince him that his son's affair was a +love quarrel. Although it was then at least half-past ten at night, he +determined at once to call on the lieutenant of police. He begged of +him to issue immediate orders to all the detachments that were out on +duty, and he himself, taking some men with him, hastened to the street +where his son had been stopped: he visited every place where he thought +he might have a chance of finding him; and not being able to discover +the slightest trace of him, he went off to the house of his mistress, +to which he thought he probably might by this time have returned. +</P> + +<P> +"I was stepping into bed when he arrived. The door of the chamber +being closed, I did not hear the knock at the gate, but he rushed into +the house, accompanied by two archers of the guard, and after fruitless +enquiries of the servants about his son, he resolved to try whether he +could get any information from their mistress. He came up to the +apartment, still accompanied by the guard. We were just on the point +of lying down when he burst open the door, and electrified us by his +appearance. 'Heavens!' said I to Manon, 'it is old G—— M——.' I +attempted to get possession of my sword; but it was fortunately +entangled in my belt. The archers, who saw my object, advanced to lay +hold of me. Stript to my shirt, I could, of course, offer no +resistance, and they speedily deprived me of all means of defence. +</P> + +<P> +"G—— M——, although a good deal embarrassed by the whole scene, soon +recognised me; and Manon still more easily. 'Is this a dream?' said +he, in the most serious tone—'do I not see before me the Chevalier des +Grieux and Manon Lescaut?' I was so overcome with shame and +disappointment, that I could make him no reply. He appeared for some +minutes revolving different thoughts in his mind; and as if they had +suddenly excited his anger, he exclaimed, addressing himself to me: +'Wretch! I am confident that you have murdered my son!' +</P> + +<P> +"I felt indignant at so insulting a charge. 'You hoary and lecherous +villain!' I exclaimed, 'if I had been inclined to kill any of your +worthless family, it is with you I should most assuredly have +commenced.' +</P> + +<P> +"'Hold him fast,' cried he to the archers; 'he must give me some +tidings of my son; I shall have him hanged tomorrow, if he does not +presently let me know how he has disposed of him.' +</P> + +<P> +"'You will have me hanged,' said I, 'will you? Infamous scoundrel! it +is for such as you that the gibbet is erected. Know that the blood +which flows in my veins is noble, and purer in every sense than yours. +Yes,' I added, 'I do know what has happened to your son; and if you +irritate me further, I will have him strangled before morning; and I +promise you the consolation of meeting in your own person the same +fate, after he is disposed of.' +</P> + +<P> +"I was imprudent in acknowledging that I knew where his son was, but +excess of anger made me commit this indiscretion. He immediately +called in five or six other archers, who were waiting at the gate, and +ordered them to take all the servants into custody. 'Ah! ah! +Chevalier,' said he, in a tone of sardonic raillery,—'so you do know +where my son is, and you will have him strangled, you say? We will try +to set that matter to rights.' +</P> + +<P> +"I now saw the folly I had committed. +</P> + +<P> +"He approached Manon, who was sitting upon the bed, bathed in a flood +of tears. He said something, with the most cruel irony, of the +despotic power she wielded over old and young, father and son—her +edifying dominion over her empire. This superannuated monster of +incontinence actually attempted to take liberties with her. +</P> + +<P> +"'Take care,' exclaimed I, 'how you lay a finger upon her!—neither +divine nor human law will be able, should your folly arouse it, to +shield you from my vengeance!' +</P> + +<P> +"He quitted the room, desiring the archers to make us dress as quickly +as possible. +</P> + +<P> +"I know not what were his intentions at that moment with regard to us; +we might perhaps have regained our liberty if we had told him where his +son was. As I dressed, I considered whether this would not be the +wisest course. But if, on quitting the room, such had been the +disposition of his mind, it was very different when he returned. He +had first gone to question Manon's servants, who were in the custody of +the guard. From those who had been expressly hired for her service by +his son, he could learn nothing; but when he found that Marcel had been +previously our servant, he determined to extract some information from +him, by means of intimidation, threats, or bribes. +</P> + +<P> +"This lad was faithful, but weak and unsophisticated. The remembrance +of what he had done at the penitentiary for Manon's release, joined to +the terror with which G—— M—— now inspired him, so subdued his +mind, that he thought they were about leading him to the gallows, or +the rack. He promised that, if they would spare his life, he would +disclose everything he knew. This speech made G—— M—— imagine that +there was something more serious in the affair than he had before +supposed; he not only gave Marcel a promise of his life, but a handsome +reward in hand for his intended confession. +</P> + +<P> +"The booby then told him the leading features of our plot, of which we +had made no secret before him, as he was himself to have borne a part +in it. True, he knew nothing of the alterations we had made at Paris +in our original design; but he had been informed, before quitting +Chaillot, of our projected adventure, and of the part he was to +perform. He therefore told him that the object was to make a dupe of +his son; and that Manon was to receive, if she had not already +received, ten thousand francs, which, according to our project, would +be effectually lost to G—— M——, his heirs and assigns for ever. +</P> + +<P> +"Having acquired this information, the old gentleman hastened back in a +rage to the apartment. Without uttering a word, he passed into the +boudoir, where he easily put his hand upon the money and the jewels. +He then accosted us, bursting with rage; and holding up what he was +pleased to call our plunder, he loaded us with the most indignant +reproaches. He placed close to Manon's eye the pearl necklace and +bracelets. 'Do you recognise them?' said he, in a tone of mockery; 'it +is not, perhaps, the first time you may have seen them. The identical +pearls, by my faith! They were selected by your own exquisite taste! +The poor innocents!' added he; 'they really are most amiable creatures, +both one and the other; but they are perhaps a little too much inclined +to roguery.' +</P> + +<P> +"I could hardly contain my indignation at this speech. I would have +given for one moment's liberty—Heavens! what would I not have given? +At length, I suppressed my feelings sufficiently to say in a tone of +moderation, which was but the refinement of rage: 'Put an end, sir, to +this insolent mockery! What is your object? What do you purpose doing +with us?' +</P> + +<P> +"'M. Chevalier,' he answered, 'my object is to see you quietly lodged +in the prison of Le Chatelet. Tomorrow will bring daylight with it, +and we shall then be able to take a clearer view of matters; and I hope +you will at last do me the favour to let me know where my son is.' +</P> + +<P> +"It did not require much consideration to feel convinced that our +incarceration in Le Chatelet would be a serious calamity. I foresaw +all the dangers that would ensue. In spite of my pride, I plainly saw +the necessity of bending before my fate, and conciliating my most +implacable enemy by submission. I begged of him, in the quietest +manner, to listen to me. 'I wish to do myself but common justice, +sir,' said I to him; 'I admit that my youth has led me into egregious +follies; and that you have had fair reason to complain: but if you have +ever felt the resistless power of love, if you can enter into the +sufferings of an unhappy young man, from whom all that he most loved +was ravished, you may think me perhaps not so culpable in seeking the +gratification of an innocent revenge; or at least, you may consider me +sufficiently punished, by the exposure and degradation I have just now +endured. Neither pains nor imprisonment will be requisite to make me +tell you where your son now is. He is in perfect safety. It was never +my intention to injure him, nor to give you just cause for offence. I +am ready to let you know the place where he is safely passing the +night, if, in return, you will set us at liberty.' +</P> + +<P> +"The old tiger, far from being softened by my prayer, turned his back +upon me and laughed. A few words escaped him, which showed that he +perfectly well knew our whole plan from the commencement. As for his +son, the brute said that he would easily find him, since I had not +assassinated him. 'Conduct them to the Petit-Chatelet,' said he to the +archers; 'and take especial care that the chevalier does not escape +you: he is a scamp that once before escaped from St. Lazare.' +</P> + +<P> +"He went out, and left me in a condition that you may picture to +yourself. 'O Heavens!' cried I to myself, 'I receive with humble +submission all your visitations; but that a wretched scoundrel should +thus have the power to tyrannise over me! this it is that plunges me +into the depths of despair!' The archers begged that we would not +detain them any longer. They had a coach at the door. 'Come, my dear +angel,' said I to Manon, as we went down, 'come, let us submit to our +destiny in all its rigour: it may one day please Heaven to render us +more happy.' +</P> + +<P> +"We went in the same coach. I supported her in my arms. I had not +heard her utter a single word since G—— M——'s first appearance: but +now, finding herself alone with me, she addressed me in the tenderest +manner, and accused herself of being the cause of all my troubles. I +assured her that I never could complain, while she continued to love +me. 'It is not I that have reason to complain,' I added; 'imprisonment +for a few months has no terrors for me, and I would infinitely prefer +Le Chatelet to St. Lazare; but it is for you, my dearest soul, that my +heart bleeds. What a lot for such an angel! How can you, gracious +Heaven! subject to such rigour the most perfect work of your own hands? +Why are we not both of us born with qualities conformable to our +wretched condition? We are endowed with spirit, with taste, with +feeling; while the vilest of God's creatures—brutes, alone worthy of +our unhappy fate, are revelling in all the favours of fortune.' +</P> + +<P> +"These feelings filled me with grief; but it was bliss compared with my +prospects for the future. My fear, on account of Manon, knew no +bounds. She had already been an inmate of the Magdalen; and even if +she had left it by fair means, I knew that a relapse of this nature +would be attended with disastrous consequences. I wished to let her +know my fears: I was apprehensive of exciting hers. I trembled for +her, without daring to put her on her guard against the danger; and I +embraced her tenderly, to satisfy her, at least, of my love, which was +almost the only sentiment to which I dared to give expression. +'Manon,' said I, 'tell me sincerely, will you ever cease to love me?' +</P> + +<P> +"She answered, that it made her unhappy to think that I could doubt it. +</P> + +<P> +"'Very well,' replied I, 'I do so no longer; and with this conviction, +I may well defy all my enemies. Through the influence of my family, I +can ensure my own liberation from the Chatelet; and my life will be of +little use, and of short duration, if I do not succeed in rescuing you.' +</P> + +<P> +"We arrived at the prison, where they put us into separate cells. This +blow was the less severe, because I was prepared for it. I recommended +Manon to the attention of the porter, telling him that I was a person +of some distinction, and promising him a considerable recompense. I +embraced my dearest mistress before we parted; I implored her not to +distress herself too much, and to fear nothing while I lived. I had +money with me: I gave her some; and I paid the porter, out of what +remained, the amount of a month's expenses for both of us in, advance. +This had an excellent effect, for I found myself placed in an apartment +comfortably furnished, and they assured me that Manon was in one +equally good. +</P> + +<P> +"I immediately set about devising the means of procuring my liberty. +There certainly had been nothing actually criminal in my conduct; and +supposing even that our felonious intention was established by the +evidence of Marcel, I knew that criminal intentions alone were not +punishable. I resolved to write immediately to my father, and beg of +him to come himself to Paris. I felt much less humiliation, as I have +already said, in being in Le Chatelet than in St. Lazare. Besides, +although I preserved all proper respect for the paternal authority, +age and experience had considerably lessened my timidity. I wrote, and +they made no difficulty in the prison about forwarding my letter; but +it was a trouble I should have spared myself, had I known that my +father was about to arrive on the following day in Paris. He had +received the letter I had written to him a week before; it gave him +extreme delight; but, notwithstanding the flattering hopes I had held +out of my conversion, he could not implicitly rely on my statements. +He determined therefore to satisfy himself of my reformation by the +evidence of his own senses, and to regulate his conduct towards me +according to his conviction of my sincerity. He arrived the day after +my imprisonment. +</P> + +<P> +"His first visit was to Tiberge, to whose care I begged that he would +address his answer. He could not learn from him either my present +abode or condition: Tiberge merely told him of my principal adventures +since I had escaped from St. Lazare. Tiberge spoke warmly of the +disposition to virtue which I had evinced at our last interview. He +added, that he considered me as having quite got rid of Manon; but that +he was nevertheless surprised at my not having given him any +intelligence about myself for a week. My father was not to be duped. +He fully comprehended that there was something in the silence of which +Tiberge complained, which had escaped my poor friend's penetration; and +he took such pains to find me out, that in two days after his arrival +he learned that I was in Le Chatelet. +</P> + +<P> +"Before I received this visit, which I little expected so soon, I had +the honour of one from the lieutenant-general of police, or, to call +things by their right names, I was subjected to an official +examination. He upbraided me certainly, but not in any harsh or +annoying manner. He told me, in the kindest tone, that he bitterly +lamented my bad conduct; that I had committed a gross indiscretion in +making an enemy of such a man as M. G—— M——; that in truth it was +easy to see that there was, in the affair, more of imprudence and folly +than of malice; but that still it was the second time I had been +brought as a culprit under his cognisance; and that he had hoped I +should have become more sedate, after the experience of two or three +months in St. Lazare. +</P> + +<P> +"Delighted at finding that I had a rational judge to deal with, I +explained the affair to him in a manner at once so respectful and so +moderate, that he seemed exceedingly satisfied with my answers to all +the queries he put. He desired me not to abandon myself to grief, and +assured me that he felt every disposition to serve me, as well on +account of my birth as my inexperience. I ventured to bespeak his +attentions in favour of Manon, and I dwelt upon her gentle and +excellent disposition. He replied, with a smile, that he had not yet +seen her, but that she had been represented to him as a most dangerous +person. This expression so excited my sympathy, that I urged a +thousand anxious arguments in favour of my poor mistress, and I could +not restrain even from shedding tears. +</P> + +<P> +"He desired them to conduct me back to my chamber. 'Love! love!' cried +this grave magistrate as I went out, 'thou art never to be reconciled +with discretion!' +</P> + +<P> +"I had been occupied with the most melancholy reflections, and was +thinking of the conversation I had had with the lieutenant-general of +police, when I heard my door open. It was my father. Although I ought +to have been half prepared for seeing him, and had reasons to expect +his arrival within a day or two, yet I was so thunderstruck, that I +could willingly have sunk into the earth, if it had been open at my +feet. I embraced him in the greatest possible state of confusion. He +took a seat, without either one or other of us having uttered a word. +</P> + +<P> +"As I remained standing, with my head uncovered, and my eyes cast on +the ground, 'Be seated, sir,' said he in a solemn voice; 'be seated. I +have to thank the notoriety of your debaucheries for learning the place +of your abode. It is the privilege of such fame as yours, that it +cannot lie concealed. You are acquiring celebrity by an unerring path. +Doubtless it will lead you to the Greve,[1] and you will then have the +unfading glory of being held up to the admiration of the world.' +</P> + +<P> +"I made no reply. He continued: 'What an unhappy lot is that of a +father, who having tenderly loved a child, and strained every nerve to +bring him up a virtuous and respectable man, finds him turn out in the +end a worthless profligate, who dishonours him. To an ordinary reverse +of fortune one may be reconciled; time softens the affliction, and even +the indulgence of sorrow itself is not unavailing; but what remedy is +there for an evil that is perpetually augmenting, such as the +profligacy of a vicious son, who has deserted every principle of +honour, and is ever plunging from deep into deeper vice? You are +silent,' added he: 'look at this counterfeit modesty, this hypocritical +air of gentleness!— might he not pass for the most respectable member +of his family?' +</P> + +<P> +"Although I could not but feel that I deserved, in some degree, these +reproaches, yet he appeared to me to carry them beyond all reason. I +thought I might be permitted to explain my feelings. +</P> + +<P> +"'I assure you, sir,' said I to him, 'that the modesty which you +ridicule is by no means affected; it is the natural feeling of a son +who entertains sincere respect for his father, and above all, a father +irritated as you justly are by his faults. Neither have I, sir, the +slightest wish to pass for the most respectable member of my family. I +know that I have merited your reproaches, but I conjure you to temper +them with mercy, and not to look upon me as the most infamous of +mankind. I do not deserve such harsh names. It is love, you know it, +that has caused all my errors. Fatal passion! Have you yourself never +felt its force? Is it possible that you, with the same blood in your +veins that flows in mine, should have passed through life unscathed by +the same excitements? Love has rendered me perhaps foolishly +tender—too easily excited—too impassioned—too faithful, and +probably too indulgent to the desires and caprices, or, if you will, +the faults of an adored mistress. These are my crimes; are they such +as to reflect dishonour upon you? Come, my dear father,' said I +tenderly, 'show some pity for a son, who has never ceased to feel +respect and affection for you—who has not renounced, as you say, all +feelings of honour and of duty, and who is himself a thousand times +more an object of pity than you imagine.' I could not help shedding a +tear as I concluded this appeal. +</P> + +<P> +"A father's heart is a chef-d'oeuvre of creation. There nature rules +in undisturbed dominion, and regulates at will its most secret springs. +He was a man of high feeling and good taste, and was so sensibly +affected by the turn I had given to my defence, that he could no longer +hide from me the change I had wrought. +</P> + +<P> +"'Come to me, my poor chevalier,' said he; 'come and embrace me. I do +pity you!' +</P> + +<P> +"I embraced him: he pressed me to him in such a manner, that I guessed +what was passing in his heart. +</P> + +<P> +"'But how are we,' said he, 'to extricate you from this place? Explain +to me the real situation of your affairs.' +</P> + +<P> +"As there really was not anything in my conduct so grossly improper as +to reflect dishonour upon me; at least, in comparison with the conduct +of other young men of a certain station in the world; and as a mistress +is not considered a disgrace, any more than a little dexterity in +drawing some advantage from play, I gave my father a candid detail of +the life I had been leading. As I recounted each transgression, I took +care to cite some illustrious example in my justification, in order to +palliate my own faults. +</P> + +<P> +"'I lived,' said I, 'with a mistress without the solemnity of marriage. +The Duke of —— keeps two before the eyes of all Paris. M—— D—— +has had one now for ten years, and loves her with a fidelity which he +has never shown to his wife. Two-thirds of the men of fashion in Paris +keep mistresses. +</P> + +<P> +"'I certainly have on one or two occasions cheated at play. Well, the +Marquis of —— and the Count —— have no other source of revenue. +The Prince of —— and the Duke of —— are at the head of a gang of +the same industrious order.' As for the designs I had upon the pockets +of the two G—— M——s, I might just as easily have proved that I had +abundant models for that also; but I had too much pride to plead guilty +to this charge, and rest on the justification of example; so that I +begged of my father to ascribe my weakness on this occasion to the +violence of the two passions which agitated me—Revenge and Love. +</P> + +<P> +"He asked me whether I could suggest any means of obtaining my liberty, +and in such a way as to avoid publicity as much as possible. I told +him of the kind feelings which the lieutenant-general of police had +expressed towards me. 'If you encounter any obstacles,' said I, 'they +will be offered only by the two G—— M——s; so that I think it would +be advisable to call upon them.' +</P> + +<P> +"He promised to do so. +</P> + +<P> +"I did not dare ask him to solicit Manon's liberation; this was not +from want of courage, but from the apprehension of exasperating him by +such a proposition, and perhaps driving him to form some design fatal +to the future happiness of us both. It remains to this hour a problem +whether this fear on my part was not the immediate cause of all my most +terrible misfortunes, by preventing me from ascertaining my father's +disposition, and endeavouring to inspire him with favourable feelings +towards my poor mistress: I might have perhaps once more succeeded in +exciting his commiseration; I might have put him on his guard against +the impression which he was sure of receiving from a visit to old G—— +M——. But how can I tell what the consequences would have been! My +unhappy fate would have most probably counteracted all my efforts; but +it would have been a consolation to have had nothing else but that, and +the cruelty of my enemies, to blame for my afflictions. +</P> + +<P> +"On quitting me, my father went to pay a visit to M. G—— M——. He +found him with his son, whom the guardsman had safely restored to +liberty. I never learned the particulars of their conversation; but I +could easily infer them from the disastrous results. They went +together (the two old gentlemen) to the lieutenant-general of police, +from whom they requested one favour each: the first was to have me at +once liberated from Le Chatelet; the second to condemn Manon to +perpetual imprisonment, or to transport her for life to America. They +happened, at that very period, to be sending out a number of convicts +to the Mississippi. The lieutenant-general promised to have her +embarked on board the first vessel that sailed. +</P> + +<P> +"M. G—— M—— and my father came together to bring me the news of my +liberation. M. G—— M—— said something civil with reference to what +had passed; and having congratulated me upon my happiness in having +such a father, he exhorted me to profit henceforward by his instruction +and example. My father desired me to express my sorrow for the +injustice I had even contemplated against his family, and my gratitude +for his having assisted in procuring my liberation. +</P> + +<P> +"We all left the prison together, without the mention of Manon's name. +I dared not in their presence speak of her to the turnkeys. Alas! all +my entreaties in her favour would have been useless. The cruel +sentence upon Manon had arrived at the same time as the warrant for my +discharge. The unfortunate girl was conducted in an hour after to the +Hospital, to be there classed with some other wretched women, who had +been condemned to the same punishment. +</P> + +<P> +"My father having forced me to accompany him to the house where he was +residing, it was near six o'clock before I had an opportunity of +escaping his vigilance. In returning to Le Chatelet, my only wish was +to convey some refreshments to Manon, and to recommend her to the +attention of the porter; for I had no hope of being permitted to see +her; nor had I, as yet, had time to reflect on the best means of +rescuing her. +</P> + +<P> +"I asked for the porter. I had won his heart, as much by my liberality +to him, as by the mildness of my manner; so that, having a disposition +to serve me, he spoke of Manon's sentence as a calamity which he +sincerely regretted, since it was calculated to mortify me. I was at +first unable to comprehend his meaning. We conversed for some minutes +without my understanding him. At length perceiving that an explanation +was necessary, he gave me such a one, as on a former occasion I wanted +courage to relate to you, and which, even now, makes my blood curdle in +my veins to remember." +</P> + +<BR><BR> + +<P CLASS="footnote"> +[1] Who has e'er been at Paris must needs know the Greve,<BR> + The fatal retreat of th' unfortunate brave,<BR> + Where honour and justice most oddly contribute,<BR> + To ease heroes' pains by the halter and gibbet.—PRIOR.<BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap11"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +XI +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="intro"> +Alack! it is not when we sleep soft and wake merrily that we think on +other people's sufferings; but when the hour of trouble comes, said +Jeanie Deans.—WALTER SCOTT. +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"Never did apoplexy produce on mortal a more sudden or terrific effect +than did the announcement of Manon's sentence upon me. I fell +prostrate, with so intense a palpitation of the heart, that as I +swooned I thought that death itself was come upon me. This idea +continued even after I had been restored to my senses. I gazed around +me upon every part of the room, then upon my own paralysed limbs, +doubting, in my delirium, whether I still bore about me the attributes +of a living man. It is quite certain that, in obedience to the desire +I felt of terminating my sufferings, even by my own hand, nothing could +have been to me more welcome than death at that moment of anguish and +despair. Religion itself could depict nothing more insupportable after +death than the racking agony with which I was then convulsed. Yet, by a +miracle, only within the power of omnipotent love, I soon regained +strength enough to express my gratitude to Heaven for restoring me to +sense and reason. My death could have only been a relief and blessing +to myself; whereas Manon had occasion for my prolonged existence, in +order to deliver her—to succour her—to avenge her wrongs: I swore to +devote that existence unremittingly to these objects. +</P> + +<P> +"The porter gave me every assistance that I could have expected at the +hands of my oldest friend: I accepted his services with the liveliest +gratitude. 'Alas!' said I to him, 'you then are affected by my +sufferings! The whole world abandons me; my own father proves one of +the very cruellest of my persecutors; no person feels pity for me! You +alone, in this abode of suffering and shame—you alone exhibit +compassion for the most wretched of mankind!' He advised me not to +appear in the street until I had recovered a little from my affliction. +'Do not stop me,' said I, as I went out; 'we shall meet again sooner +than you imagine: get ready your darkest dungeon, for I shall shortly +become its tenant.' +</P> + +<P> +"In fact, my first idea was nothing less than to make away with the two +G—— M——s, and the lieutenant-general of police; and then to attack +the Hospital, sword in hand, assisted by all whom I could enlist in my +cause. Even my father's life was hardly respected, so just appeared my +feelings of vengeance; for the porter had informed me that he and G—— +M—— were jointly the authors of my ruin. +</P> + +<P> +"But when I had advanced some paces into the street, and the fresh air +had cooled my excitement, I gradually viewed matters in a more rational +mood. The death of our enemies could be of little use to Manon; and +the obvious effect of such violence would be to deprive me of all other +chance of serving her. Besides, could I ever bring myself to be a +cowardly assassin? By what other means could I accomplish my revenge? +I set all my ingenuity and all my efforts at work to procure the +deliverance of Manon, leaving everything else to be considered +hereafter when I had succeeded in this first and paramount object. +</P> + +<P> +"I had very little money left; money, however, was an indispensable +basis for all my operations. I only knew three persons from whom I had +any right to ask pecuniary assistance—M. de T——, Tiberge, and my +father. There appeared little chance of obtaining any from the two +latter, and I was really ashamed again to importune M. de T——. But +it is not in desperate emergencies that one stands upon points of +ceremony. I went first to the seminary of St. Sulpice, without +considering whether I should be recognised. I asked for Tiberge. His +first words showed me that he knew nothing of my latest adventure: this +made me change the design I had originally formed of appealing at once +to his compassion. I spoke generally of the pleasure it had given me +to see my father again; and I then begged of him to lend me some money, +under the pretext of being anxious before I left Paris to pay a few +little debts, which I wished to keep secret. He handed me his purse, +without a single remark. I took twenty or twenty-five pounds, which it +contained. I offered him my note of hand, but he was too generous to +accept it. +</P> + +<P> +"I then went to M. de T——: I had no reserve with him. I plainly told +him my misfortunes and distress: he already knew everything, and had +informed himself even of the most trifling circumstance, on account of +the interest he naturally took in young G—— M——'s adventure. He, +however, listened to me, and seemed sincerely to lament what had +occurred. When I consulted him as to the best means of rescuing Manon, +he answered that he saw such little ground for hope, that, without some +extraordinary interposition of Providence, it would be folly to expect +relief; that he had paid a visit expressly to the Hospital since Manon +had been transferred from the Chatelet, but that he could not even +obtain permission to see her, as the lieutenant-general of police had +given the strictest orders to the contrary; and that, to complete the +catastrophe, the unfortunate train of convicts, in which she was to be +included, was to take its departure from Paris the day but one after. +</P> + +<P> +"I was so confounded by what he said, that if he had gone on speaking +for another hour, I should not have interrupted him. He continued to +tell me, that the reason of his not calling to see me at the Chatelet +was, that he hoped to be of more use by appearing to be unknown to me; +that for the last few hours, since I had been set at liberty, he had in +vain looked for me, in order to suggest the only plan through which he +could see a hope of averting Manon's fate. He told me it was dangerous +counsel to give, and implored me never to mention the part he took in +it; it was to find some enterprising fellows gallant enough to attack +Manon's guard on getting outside the barriere. Nor did he wait for me +to urge a plea of poverty. 'Here is fifty pounds,' he said, presenting +me his purse; 'it may be of use to you; you can repay me when you are +in better circumstances.' He added, that if the fear of losing his +character did not prevent him from embarking in such an enterprise, he +would have willingly put his sword and his life at my service. +</P> + +<P> +"This unlooked-for generosity affected me to tears. I expressed my +gratitude with as much warmth as my depressed spirits left at my +command. I asked him if there were nothing to be expected from +interceding with the lieutenant-general of police: he said that he had +considered that point; but that he looked upon it as a hopeless +attempt, because a favour of that nature was never accorded without +some strong motive, and he did not see what inducement could be held +out for engaging the intercession of any person of power on her behalf; +that if any hope could possibly be entertained upon the point, it must +be by working a change in the feelings of old G—— M—— and my +father, and by prevailing on them to solicit from the +lieutenant-general of police the revocation of Manon's sentence. He +offered to do everything in his power to gain over the younger G—— +M——, although he fancied a coldness in that gentleman's manner +towards him, probably from some suspicions he might entertain of his +being concerned in the late affair; and he entreated me to lose no +opportunity of effecting the desired change in my father's mind. +</P> + +<P> +"This was no easy undertaking for me; not only on account of the +difficulty I should naturally meet in overcoming his opinion, but for +another reason which made me fear even to approach him; I had quitted +his lodgings contrary to his express orders, and was resolved, since I +had learned the sad fate of my poor Manon, never again to return +thither. I was not without apprehensions indeed of his now retaining +me against my will, and perhaps taking me at once back with him into +the country. My elder brother had formerly had recourse to this +violent measure. True, I was now somewhat older; but age is a feeble +argument against force. I hit upon a mode, however, of avoiding this +danger, which was to get him by contrivance to some public place, and +there announce myself to him under an assumed name: I immediately +resolved on this method. M. de T—— went to G—— M——'s, and I to +the Luxembourg, whence I sent my father word, that a gentleman waited +there to speak with him. I hardly thought he would come, as the night +was advancing. He, however, soon made his appearance, followed by a +servant: I begged of him to choose a walk where we could be alone. We +walked at least a hundred paces without speaking. He doubtless +imagined that so much precaution could not be taken without some +important object. He waited for my opening speech, and I was +meditating how to commence it. +</P> + +<P> +"At length I began. +</P> + +<P> +"'Sir,' said I, trembling, 'you are a good and affectionate parent; you +have loaded me with favours, and have forgiven me an infinite number of +faults; I also, in my turn, call Heaven to witness the sincere, and +tender, and respectful sentiments I entertain towards you. But it does +seem to me, that your inexorable severity——' +</P> + +<P> +"'Well, sir, my severity!' interrupted my father, who no doubt found my +hesitation little suited to his impatience. +</P> + +<P> +"'Ah, sir,' I replied, 'it does seem to me that your severity is +excessive in the penalty you inflict upon the unfortunate Manon. You +have taken only M. G—— M——'s report of her. His hatred has made +him represent her to you in the most odious colours: you have formed a +frightful idea of her. She is, on the contrary, the mildest and most +amiable of living creatures; would that Heaven had but inspired you at +any one moment with the desire of seeing her! I am convinced that you +would be not less sensible of her perfections than your unhappy son. +You would then have been her advocate; you would have abhorred the foul +artifices of G—— M——; you would have had pity on both her and me. +Alas! I am persuaded of it; your heart is not insensible; it must ere +now have melted with compassion.' +</P> + +<P> +"He interrupted me again, perceiving that I spoke with a warmth which +would not allow me to finish very briefly. He begged to know with what +request I intended to wind up so fervent an harangue. +</P> + +<P> +"'To ask my life at your hands,' said I, 'which I never can retain if +Manon once embark for America.' +</P> + +<P> +"'No! no!' replied he, in the severest tone; 'I would rather see you +lifeless, than infamous and depraved.' +</P> + +<P> +"'We have gone far enough, then,' said I, catching hold of his arm; +'take from me, in common mercy, my life! weary and odious and +insupportable as it henceforward must be; for in the state of despair +into which you now plunge me, death would be the greatest favour you +could bestow—a favour worthy of a father's hand.' +</P> + +<P> +"'I should only give you what you deserve,' replied he; 'I know fathers +who would not have shown as much patience as I have, but would +themselves have executed speedy justice; but it is my foolish and +excessive forbearance that has been your ruin.' +</P> + +<P> +"I threw myself at his feet: 'Ah!' exclaimed I, 'if you have still any +remains of mercy, do not harden your heart against my distress and +sorrow. Remember that I am your child! Alas! think of my poor mother! +you loved her tenderly! would you have suffered her to be torn from +your arms? You would have defended her to the death! May not the same +feeling then be pardoned in others? Can persons become barbarous and +cruel, after having themselves experienced the softening influence of +tenderness and grief?' +</P> + +<P> +"'Breathe not again the sacred name of your mother,' he exclaimed, in a +voice of thunder; 'the very allusion to her memory rouses my +indignation. Had she lived to witness the unredeemed profligacy of +your life, it would have brought her in pain and sorrow to her +grave.—Let us put an end to this discussion' he added; 'it distresses +me, and makes not the slightest change in my determination: I am going +back to my lodgings, and I desire you to follow me.' +</P> + +<P> +"The cool and resolute tone in which he uttered this command, convinced +me that he was inexorable. I stepped some paces aside, for fear he +should think fit to lay hands upon me. +</P> + +<P> +"'Do not increase my misery and despair,' said I to him, 'by forcing me +to disobey you. It is impossible for me to follow you; and equally so +that I should continue to live, after the unkind treatment I have +experienced from you. I, therefore, bid you an eternal adieu. When +you know that I am dead, as I shall soon be, the paternal affection +which you once entertained for me may be perhaps revived.' +</P> + +<P> +"As I was about to turn away from him: 'You refuse then to follow me,' +cried he, in a tone of excessive anger. 'Go! go on to your ruin. +Adieu! ungrateful and disobedient boy.' +</P> + +<P> +"'Adieu!' exclaimed I to him, in a burst of grief, 'adieu, cruel and +unnatural father!' +</P> + +<P> +"I left the Luxembourg, and rushed like a madman through the streets to +M. de T——'s house. I raised my hands and eyes as I went along, +invoking the Almighty Powers: 'O Heaven,' cried I, 'will you not prove +more merciful than man! The only hope that remains to me is from +above!' +</P> + +<P> +"M. de T—— had not yet returned home; but he arrived before many +minutes had elapsed. His negotiation had been as unsuccessful as my +own. He told me so with the most sorrowful countenance. Young G—— +M——, although less irritated than his father against Manon and me, +would not undertake to petition in our favour. He was, in great +measure, deterred by the fear which he himself had of the vindictive +old lecher, who had already vented his anger against him for his design +of forming a connection with Manon. +</P> + +<P> +"There only remained to me, therefore, the violent measures which M. +T—— had suggested. I now confined all my hopes to them. They were +questionless most uncertain; but they held out to me, at least, a +substantial consolation, in the certainty of meeting death in the +attempt, if unsuccessful. I left him, begging that he would offer up +his best wishes for my triumph; and I thought only of finding some +companions, to whom I might communicate a portion of my own courage and +determination. +</P> + +<P> +"The first that occurred to me was the same guardsman whom I had +employed to arrest G—— M——. I had intended indeed to pass the +night at his rooms, not having had a moment of leisure during the +afternoon to procure myself a lodging. I found him alone. He was glad +to see me out of the Chatelet. He made me an offer of his services. I +explained to him in what way he might now do me the greatest kindness. +He had good sense enough to perceive all the difficulties; but he was +also generous enough to undertake to surmount them. +</P> + +<P> +"We spent part of the night in considering how the plot was to be +executed. He spoke of the three soldiers whom he had made use of on +the last occasion, as men whose courage had been proved. M. de T—— +had told me the exact number of archers that would escort Manon; they +were but six. Five strong and determined men could not fail to strike +terror into these fellows, who would never think of defending +themselves bravely, when they were to be allowed the alternative of +avoiding danger by surrendering; and of that they would no doubt avail +themselves. As I was not without money, the guardsman advised me to +spare no pains or expense to ensure success. 'We must be mounted,' he +said, 'and each man must have his carbine and pistols; I will take care +to prepare everything requisite by tomorrow. We shall also want three +new suits of regimentals for the soldiers, who dare not appear in an +affray of this kind in the uniform of their regiment. I handed him the +hundred pistoles which I had got from M. de T——; it was all expended +the next morning, to the very last sou. I inspected the three +soldiers; I animated them with the most liberal promises; and to +confirm their confidence in me, I began by making each man a present of +ten pistoles. +</P> + +<P> +"The momentous day having arrived, I sent one of them at an early hour +to the Hospital, to ascertain the exact time when the police were to +start with their prisoners. Although I merely took this precaution +from my excessive anxiety, it turned out to have been a prudent step. +I had formed my plans upon false information, which I had received as +to their destination; and believing that it was at Rochelle this +unhappy group was to embark, all my trouble would have been thrown away +in waiting for them on the Orleans road. However, I learned, by the +soldier's report, that they would go out towards Rouen, and that it was +from Havre-de-Grace they were to sail for America. +</P> + +<P> +"We at once went to the gate of St. Honore, taking care to go by +different streets. We assembled at the end of the faubourg. Our +horses were fresh. In a little time we observed before us the six +archers and the two wretched caravans, which you saw at Passy two years +ago. The sight alone almost deprived me of my strength and senses. +'Oh fate!' said I to myself, 'cruel fate! grant me now either death or +victory.' +</P> + +<P> +"We hastily consulted as to the mode of making the attack. The +cavalcade was only four hundred paces in advance, and we might +intercept them by cutting across a small field, round which the high +road led. The guardsman was for this course, in order to fall suddenly +upon them while unprepared. I approved of the plan, and was the first +to spur my horse forward—but fate once again relentlessly blasted all +my hopes. +</P> + +<P> +"The escort, seeing five horsemen riding towards them, inferred that it +was for the purpose of attacking them. They put themselves in a +position of defence, preparing their bayonets and guns with an air of +resolution. +</P> + +<P> +"This demonstration, which in the guardsman and myself only inspired +fresh courage, had a very different effect upon our three cowardly +companions. They stopped simultaneously, and having muttered to each +other some words which I could not hear, they turned their horses' +heads, threw the bridles on their necks, and galloped back towards +Paris. +</P> + +<P> +"'Good heavens!' said the guardsman, who appeared as much annoyed as I +was by this infamous desertion, 'what is to be done? we are but two +now.' +</P> + +<P> +"From rage and consternation I had lost all power of speech. I doubted +whether my first revenge should not be in pursuing the cowards who had +abandoned me. I saw them flying, and looked in the other direction at +the escort: if it had been possible to divide myself, I should at once +have fallen upon both these objects of my fury; I should have destroyed +all at the same moment. +</P> + +<P> +"The guardsman, who saw my irresolution by my wandering gaze, begged of +me to hear his advice. 'Being but two,' he said, 'it would be madness +to attack six men as well armed as ourselves, and who seem determined +to receive us firmly. Let us return to Paris, and endeavour to succeed +better in the choice of our comrades. The police cannot make very +rapid progress with two heavy vans; we may overtake them tomorrow +without difficulty.' +</P> + +<P> +"I reflected a moment on this suggestion; but seeing nothing around me +but despair, I took a final and indeed desperate resolution: this was +to thank my companion for his services, and, far from attacking the +police, to go up with submission and implore them to receive me among +them, that I might accompany Manon to Havre-de-Grace, and afterwards, +if possible, cross the Atlantic with her. 'The whole world is either +persecuting or betraying me,' said I to the guardsman; 'I have no +longer the power of interesting anyone in my favour; I expect nothing +more either from fortune or the friendship of man; my misery is at its +height; it only remains for me to submit, so that I close my eyes +henceforward against every gleam of hope. May Heaven,' I continued, +'reward you for your generosity! Adieu! I shall go and aid my +wretched destiny in filling up the full measure of my ruin!' He, in +vain, endeavoured to persuade me to return with him to Paris. I +entreated him to leave me at once, lest the police should still suspect +us of an intention to attack them." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap12"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +XII +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="intro"> +The pauses and intermissions of pain become positive pleasures; and +have thus a power of shedding a satisfaction over the intervals of +ease, which few enjoyments exceed.—PALEY. +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"Riding towards the cortege at a slow pace, and with a sorrowful +countenance, the guards could hardly see anything very terrific in my +approach. They seemed, however, to expect an attack. 'Be persuaded, +gentlemen,' said I to them, 'that I come not to wage war, but rather to +ask favours.' I then begged of them to continue their progress without +any distrust, and as we went along I made my solicitations. They +consulted together to ascertain in what way they should entertain my +request. The chief of them spoke for the rest. He said that the +orders they had received to watch the prisoners vigilantly were of the +strictest kind; that, however, I seemed so interesting a young man, +that they might be induced to relax a little in their duty; but that I +must know, of course, that this would cost me something. I had about +sixteen pistoles left, and candidly told them what my purse contained. +'Well,' said the gendarme, 'we will act generously. It shall only cost +you a crown an hour for conversing with any of our girls that you may +prefer— that is the ordinary price in Paris.' +</P> + +<P> +"I said not a word of Manon, because I did not wish to let them know of +my passion. They at first supposed it was merely a boyish whim, that +made me think of amusing myself with these creatures: but when they +discovered that I was in love, they increased their demands in such a +way, that my purse was completely empty on leaving Mantes, where we had +slept the night before our arrival at Passy. +</P> + +<P> +"Shall I describe to you my heart-rending interviews with Manon during +this journey, and what my sensations were when I obtained from the +guards permission to approach her caravan? Oh! language never can +adequately express the sentiments of the heart; but picture to yourself +my poor mistress, with a chain round her waist, seated upon a handful +of straw, her head resting languidly against the panel of the carriage, +her face pale and bathed with tears, which forced a passage between her +eyelids, although she kept them continually closed. She had not even +the curiosity to open her eyes on hearing the bustle of the guards when +they expected our attack. Her clothes were soiled, and in disorder; +her delicate hands exposed to the rough air; in fine, her whole angelic +form, that face, lovely enough to carry back the world to idolatry, +presented a spectacle of distress and anguish utterly indescribable. +</P> + +<P> +"I spent some moments gazing at her as I rode alongside the carriage. +I had so lost my self-possession, that I was several times on the point +of falling from my horse. My sighs and frequent exclamations at length +attracted her attention. She looked at and recognised me, and I +remarked that on the first impulse, she unconsciously tried to leap +from the carriage towards me, but being checked by her chain, she fell +into her former attitude. +</P> + +<P> +"I begged of the guards to stop one moment for the sake of mercy; they +consented for the sake of avarice. I dismounted to go and sit near +her. She was so languid and feeble, that she was for some time without +the power of speech, and could not raise her hands: I bathed them with +my tears; and being myself unable to utter a word, we formed together +as deplorable a picture of distress as could well be seen. When at +length we were able to speak, our conversation was not less sorrowful. +Manon said little: shame and grief appeared to have altered the +character of her voice; its tone was feeble and tremulous. +</P> + +<P> +"She thanked me for not having forgotten her, and for the comfort I +gave her in allowing her to see me once more, and she then bade me a +long and last farewell. But when I assured her that no power on earth +could ever separate me from her, and that I was resolved to follow her +to the extremity of the world—to watch over her—to guard her—to love +her—and inseparably to unite my wretched destiny with hers, the poor +girl gave way to such feelings of tenderness and grief, that I almost +dreaded danger to her life from the violence of her emotion: the +agitation of her whole soul seemed intensely concentrated in her eyes; +she fixed them steadfastly upon me. She more than once opened her lips +without the power of giving utterance to her thoughts. I could, +however, catch some expressions that dropped from her, of admiration +and wonder at my excessive love—of doubt that she could have been +fortunate enough to inspire me with a passion so perfect—of earnest +entreaty that I would abandon my intention of following her, and seek +elsewhere a lot more worthy of me, and which, she said, I could never +hope to find with her. +</P> + +<P> +"In spite of the cruellest inflictions of Fate, I derived comfort from +her looks, and from the conviction that I now possessed her undivided +affection. I had in truth lost all that other men value; but I was the +master of Manon's heart, the only possession that I prized. Whether in +Europe or in America, of what moment to me was the place of my abode, +provided I might live happy in the society of my mistress? Is not the +universe the residence of two fond and faithful lovers? Does not each +find in the other, father, mother, friends, relations, riches, felicity? +</P> + +<P> +"If anything caused me uneasiness, it was the fear of seeing Manon +exposed to want. I fancied myself already with her in a barbarous +country, inhabited by savages. 'I am quite certain,' said I, 'there +will be none there more cruel than G—— M—— and my father. They +will, at least, allow us to live in peace. If the accounts we read of +savages be true, they obey the laws of nature: they neither know the +mean rapacity of avarice, nor the false and fantastic notions of +dignity, which have raised me up an enemy in my own father. They will +not harass and persecute two lovers, when they see us adopt their own +simple habits.' I was therefore at ease upon that point. +</P> + +<P> +"But my romantic ideas were not formed with a proper view to the +ordinary wants of life. I had too often found that there were +necessaries which could not be dispensed with, particularly by a young +and delicate woman, accustomed to comfort and abundance. I was in +despair at having so fruitlessly emptied my purse, and the little money +that now remained was about being forced from me by the rascally +imposition of the gendarmes. I imagined that a very trifling sum would +suffice for our support for some time in America, where money was +scarce, and might also enable me to form some undertaking there for our +permanent establishment. +</P> + +<P> +"This idea made me resolve on writing to Tiberge, whom I had ever found +ready to hold out the generous hand of friendship. I wrote from the +first town we passed through. I only alluded to the destitute +condition in which I foresaw that I should find myself on arriving at +Havre-de-Grace, to which place I acknowledged that I was accompanying +Manon. I asked him for only fifty pistoles. 'You can remit it to me,' +said I to him, 'through the hands of the postmaster. You must perceive +that it is the last time I can by possibility trespass on your friendly +kindness; and my poor unhappy mistress being about to be exiled from +her country for ever, I cannot let her depart without supplying her +with some few comforts, to soften the sufferings of her lot, as well as +to assuage my own sorrows.' +</P> + +<P> +"The gendarmes became so rapacious when they saw the violence of my +passion, continually increasing their demands for the slightest +favours, that they soon left me penniless. Love did not permit me to +put any bounds to my liberality. At Manon's side I was not master of +myself; and it was no longer by the hour that time was measured; rather +by the duration of whole days. At length, my funds being completely +exhausted, I found myself exposed to the brutal caprice of these six +wretches who treated me with intolerable rudeness—you yourself +witnessed it at Passy. My meeting with you was a momentary relaxation +accorded me by fate. Your compassion at the sight of my sufferings was +my only recommendation to your generous nature. The assistance which +you so liberally extended, enabled me to reach Havre, and the guards +kept their promise more faithfully than I had ventured to hope. +</P> + +<P> +"We arrived at Havre. I went to the post-office: Tiberge had not yet +had time to answer my letter. I ascertained the earliest day I might +reckon upon his answer: it could not possibly arrive for two days +longer; and by an extraordinary fatality, our vessel was to sail on the +very morning of the day when the letter might be expected. I cannot +give you an idea of my despair. 'Alas!' cried I, 'even amongst the +unfortunate, I am to be ever the most wretched!' +</P> + +<P> +"Manon replied: 'Alas! does a life so thoroughly miserable deserve the +care we bestow on ours? Let us die at Havre, dearest chevalier! Let +death at once put an end to our afflictions! Shall we persevere, and go +to drag on this hopeless existence in an unknown land, where we shall, +no doubt, have to encounter the most horrible pains, since it has been +their object to punish me by exile? Let us die,' she repeated, 'or do +at least in mercy rid me of life, and then you can seek another lot in +the arms of some happier lover.' +</P> + +<P> +"'No, no, Manon,' said I; 'it is but too enviable a lot, in my +estimation, to be allowed to share your misfortunes.' +</P> + +<P> +"Her observations made me tremble. I saw that she was overpowered by +her afflictions. I tried to assume a more tranquil air, in order to +dissipate such melancholy thoughts of death and despair. +</P> + +<P> +"I resolved to adopt the same course in future; and I learned by the +results, that nothing is more calculated to inspire a woman with +courage than the demonstration of intrepidity in the man she loves. +</P> + +<P> +"When I lost all hope of receiving the expected assistance from +Tiberge, I sold my horse; the money it brought, joined to what remained +of your generous gift, amounted to the small sum of forty pistoles; I +expended eight in the purchase of some necessary articles for Manon; +and I put the remainder by, as the capital upon which we were to rest +our hopes and raise our fortunes in America. I had no difficulty in +getting admitted on board the vessel. They were at the time looking +for young men as voluntary emigrants to the colony. The passage and +provisions were supplied gratis. I left a letter for Tiberge, which +was to go by the post next morning to Paris. It was no doubt written +in a tone calculated to affect him deeply, since it induced him to form +a resolution, which could only be carried into execution by the +tenderest and most generous sympathy for his unhappy friend. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap13"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +XIII +</H3> + +<BR> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + Sunt hie etiam sua proemia laudi,<BR> + Sunt lachrymae rerum, et mentem mortalia tangunt.<BR> + VIRGIL.<BR> +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + E'en the mute walls relate the victim's fame.<BR> + And sinner's tears the good man's pity claim.<BR> + DRYDEN.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +"We set sail; the wind continued favourable during the entire passage. +I obtained from the captain's kindness a separate cabin for the use of +Manon and myself. He was so good as to distinguish us from the herd of +our miserable associates. I took an opportunity, on the second day, of +conciliating his attentions, by telling him part of our unfortunate +history. I did not feel that I was guilty of any very culpable +falsehood in saying that I was the husband of Manon. He appeared to +believe it, and promised me his protection; and indeed we experienced, +during the whole passage, the most flattering evidences of his +sincerity. He took care that our table was comfortably provided; and +his attentions procured us the marked respect of our companions in +misery. The unwearied object of my solicitude was to save Manon from +every inconvenience. She felt this, and her gratitude, together with a +lively sense of the singular position in which I had placed myself +solely for her sake, rendered the dear creature so tender and +impassioned, so attentive also to my most trifling wants, that it was +between us a continual emulation of attentions and of love. I felt no +regret at quitting Europe; on the contrary, the nearer we approached +America, the more did I feel my heart expand and become tranquil. If I +had not felt a dread of our perhaps wanting, by and by, the absolute +necessaries of life, I should have been grateful to fate for having at +length given so favourable a turn to our affairs. +</P> + +<P> +"'After a passage of two months, we at length reached the banks of the +desired river. The country offered at first sight nothing agreeable. +We saw only sterile and uninhabited plains, covered with rushes, and +some trees rooted up by the wind. No trace either of men or animals. +However, the captain having discharged some pieces of artillery, we +presently observed a group of the inhabitants of New Orleans, who +approached us with evident signs of joy. We had not perceived the +town: it is concealed upon the side on which we approached it by a +hill. We were received as persons dropped from the clouds. +</P> + +<P> +"The poor inhabitants hastened to put a thousand questions to us upon +the state of France, and of the different provinces in which they were +born. They embraced us as brothers, and as beloved companions, who had +come to share their pains and their solitude. +</P> + +<P> +"We turned towards the town with them; but we were astonished to +perceive, as we advanced, that what we had hitherto heard spoken of as +a respectable town, was nothing more than a collection of miserable +huts. They were inhabited by five or six hundred persons. The +governor's house was a little distinguished from the rest by its height +and its position. It was surrounded by some earthen ramparts, and a +deep ditch. +</P> + +<P> +"We were first presented to him. He continued for some time in +conversation with the captain; and then advancing towards us, he looked +attentively at the women one after another: there were thirty of them, +for another troop of convicts had joined us at Havre. After having +thus inspected them, he sent for several young men of the colony who +were desirous to marry. He assigned the handsomest women to the +principal of these, and the remainder were disposed of by lot. He had +not yet addressed Manon; but having ordered the others to depart, he +made us remain. 'I learn from the captain,' said he, 'that you are +married, and he is convinced by your conduct on the passage that you +are both persons of merit and of education. I have nothing to do with +the cause of your misfortunes; but if it be true that you are as +conversant with the world and society as your appearance would +indicate, I shall spare no pains to soften the severity of your lot, +and you may on your part contribute towards rendering this savage and +desert abode less disagreeable to me.' I replied in the manner which I +thought best calculated to confirm the opinion he had formed of us. He +gave orders to have a habitation prepared for us in the town, and +detained us to supper. I was really surprised to find so much +politeness in a governor of transported convicts. In the presence of +others he abstained from enquiring about our past adventures. The +conversation was general; and in spite of our degradation, Manon and I +exerted ourselves to make it lively and agreeable. +</P> + +<P> +"At night we were conducted to the lodging prepared for us. We found a +wretched hovel composed of planks and mud, containing three rooms on +the ground, and a loft overhead. He had sent there six chairs, and +some few necessaries of life. +</P> + +<P> +"Manon appeared frightened by the first view of this melancholy +dwelling. It was on my account much more than upon her own, that she +distressed herself. When we were left to ourselves, she sat down and +wept bitterly. I attempted at first to console her; but when she +enabled me to understand that it was for my sake she deplored our +privations, and that in our common afflictions she only considered me +as the sufferer, I put on an air of resolution, and even of content, +sufficient to encourage her. +</P> + +<P> +"'What is there in my lot to lament?' said I; 'I possess all that I +have ever desired. You love me, Manon, do you not? What happiness +beyond this have I ever longed for? Let us leave to Providence the +direction of our destiny; it by no means appears to me so desperate. +The governor is civil and obliging; he has already given us marks of +his consideration; he will not allow us to want for necessaries. As to +our rude hut and the squalidness of our furniture, you might have +noticed that there are few persons in the colony better lodged or more +comfortably furnished than we are: and then you are an admirable +chemist,' added I, embracing her; 'you transform everything into gold.' +</P> + +<P> +"'In that case,' she answered, 'you shall be the richest man in the +universe; for, as there never was love surpassing yours, so it is +impossible for man to be loved more tenderly than you are by me. I +well know,' she continued, 'that I have never merited the almost +incredible fidelity and attachment which you have shown for me. I have +often caused you annoyances, which nothing but excessive fondness could +have induced you to pardon. I have been thoughtless and volatile; and +even while loving you as I have always done to distraction, I was never +free from a consciousness of ingratitude. But you cannot believe how +much my nature is altered; those tears which you have so frequently +seen me shed since quitting the French shore, have not been caused by +my own misfortunes. Since you began to share them with me, I have been +a stranger to selfishness: I only wept from tenderness and compassion +for you. I am inconsolable at the thought of having given you one +instant's pain during my past life. I never cease upbraiding myself +with my former inconstancy, and wondering at the sacrifices which love +has induced you to make for a miserable and unworthy wretch, who could +not, with the last drop of her blood, compensate for half the torments +she has caused you.' +</P> + +<P> +"Her grief, the language, and the tone in which she expressed herself, +made such an impression, that I felt my heart ready to break in me. +'Take care,' said I to her, 'take care, dear Manon; I have not strength +to endure such exciting marks of your affection; I am little accustomed +to the rapturous sensations which you now kindle in my heart. Oh +Heaven!' cried I, 'I have now nothing further to ask of you. I am sure +of Manon's love. That has been alone wanting to complete my happiness; +I can now never cease to be happy: my felicity is well secured.' +</P> + +<P> +"'It is indeed,' she replied, 'if it depends upon me, and I well know +where I can be ever certain of finding my own happiness centred.' +</P> + +<P> +"With these ideas, capable of turning my hut into a palace worthy of +earth's proudest monarch, I lay down to rest. America appeared to my +view the true land of milk and honey, the abode of contentment and +delight. 'People should come to New Orleans,' I often said to Manon, +'who wish to enjoy the real rapture of love! It is here that love is +divested of all selfishness, all jealousy, all inconstancy. Our +countrymen come here in search of gold; they little think that we have +discovered treasures of inestimably greater value.' +</P> + +<P> +"We carefully cultivated the governor's friendship. He bestowed upon +me, a few weeks after our arrival, a small appointment which became +vacant in the fort. Although not one of any distinction, I gratefully +accepted it as a gift of Providence, as it enabled me to live +independently of others' aid. I took a servant for myself, and a woman +for Manon. Our little establishment became settled: nothing could +surpass the regularity of my conduct, or that of Manon; we lost no +opportunity of serving or doing an act of kindness to our neighbours. +This friendly disposition, and the mildness of our manners, secured us +the confidence and affection of the whole colony. We soon became so +respected, that we ranked as the principal persons in the town after +the governor. +</P> + +<P> +"The simplicity of our habits and occupations, and the perfect +innocence in which we lived, revived insensibly our early feelings of +devotion. Manon had never been an irreligious girl, and I was far from +being one of those reckless libertines who delight in adding impiety +and sacrilege to moral depravity: all the disorders of our lives might +be fairly ascribed to the natural influences of youth and love. +Experience had now begun with us to do the office of age; it produced +the same effect upon us as years must have done. Our conversation, +which was generally of a serious turn, by degrees engendered a longing +for virtuous love. I first proposed this change to Manon. I knew the +principles of her heart; she was frank and natural in all her +sentiments, qualities which invariably predispose to virtue. I said to +her that there was but one thing wanting to complete our happiness: 'it +is,' said I, 'to invoke upon our union the benediction of Heaven. We +have both of us hearts too sensitive and minds too refined, to continue +voluntarily in the wilful violation of so sacred a duty. It signifies +nothing our having lived while in France in such a manner, because +there it was as impossible for us not to love, as to be united by a +legitimate tie: but in America, where we are under no restraint, where +we owe no allegiance to the arbitrary distinctions of birth and +aristocratic prejudice, where besides we are already supposed to be +married, why should we not actually become so—why should we not +sanctify our love by the holy ordinances of religion? As for me,' I +added, 'I offer nothing new in offering you my hand and my heart; but I +am ready to ratify it at the foot of the altar.' +</P> + +<P> +"This speech seemed to inspire her with joy. 'Would you believe it,' +she replied, 'I have thought of this a thousand times since our arrival +in America? The fear of annoying you has kept it shut up in my breast. +I felt that I had no pretensions to aspire to the character of your +wife.' +</P> + +<P> +"'Ah! Manon,' said I, 'you should very soon be a sovereign's consort, +if I had been born to the inheritance of a crown. Let us not hesitate; +we have no obstacle to impede us: I will this day speak to the governor +on the subject, and acknowledge that we have in this particular +hitherto deceived him. Let us leave,' added I, 'to vulgar lovers the +dread of the indissoluble bonds of marriage;[1] they would not fear +them if they were assured, as we are, of the continuance of those of +love.' I left Manon enchanted by this resolution. +</P> + +<P> +"I am persuaded that no honest man could disapprove of this intention +in my present situation; that is to say, fatally enslaved as I was by a +passion which I could not subdue, and visited by compunction and +remorse which I ought not to stifle. But will any man charge me with +injustice or impiety if I complain of the rigour of Heaven in defeating +a design that I could only have formed with the view of conciliating +its favour and complying with its decrees? Alas do I say defeated? +nay punished as a new crime. I was patiently permitted to go blindly +along the high road of vice; and the cruellest chastisements were +reserved for the period when I was returning to the paths of virtue. I +now fear that I shall have hardly fortitude enough left to recount the +most disastrous circumstances that ever occurred to any man. +</P> + +<P> +"I waited upon the governor, as I had settled with Manon, to procure +his consent to the ceremony of our marriage. I should have avoided +speaking to him or to any other person upon the subject, if I had +imagined that his chaplain, who was the only minister in the town, +would have performed the office for me without his knowledge; but not +daring to hope that he would do so privately, I determined to act +ingenuously in the matter. +</P> + +<P> +"The governor had a nephew named Synnelet, of whom he was particularly +fond. He was about thirty; brave, but of a headstrong and violent +disposition. He was not married. Manon's beauty had struck him on the +first day of our arrival; and the numberless opportunities he had of +seeing her during the last nine or ten months, had so inflamed his +passion, that he was absolutely pining for her in secret. However, as +he was convinced in common with his uncle and the whole colony that I +was married, he put such a restraint upon his feelings, that they +remained generally unnoticed; and he lost no opportunity of showing the +most disinterested friendship for me. +</P> + +<P> +"He happened to be with his uncle when I arrived at the government +house. I had no reason for keeping my intention a secret from him, so +that I explained myself without hesitation in his presence. The +governor heard me with his usual kindness. I related to him a part of +my history, to which he listened with evident interest; and when I +requested his presence at the intended ceremony, he was so generous as +to say, that he must be permitted to defray the expenses of the +succeeding entertainment. I retired perfectly satisfied. +</P> + +<P> +"In an hour after, the chaplain paid me a visit. I thought he was come +to prepare me by religious instruction for the sacred ceremony; but, +after a cold salutation, he announced to me in two words, that the +governor desired I would relinquish all thoughts of such a thing, for +that he had other views for Manon. +</P> + +<P> +"'Other views for Manon!' said I, as I felt my heart sink within me; +'what views then can they be, chaplain?' +</P> + +<P> +"He replied, that I must be, of course, aware that the governor was +absolute master here; that Manon, having been transported from France +to the colony, was entirely at his disposal; that, hitherto he had not +exercised his right, believing that she was a married woman; but that +now, having learned from my own lips that it was not so, he had +resolved to assign her to M. Synnelet, who was passionately in love +with her. +</P> + +<P> +"My indignation overcame my prudence. Irritated as I was, I desired +the chaplain instantly to quit my house, swearing at the same time that +neither governor, Synnelet, nor the whole colony together, should lay +hands upon my wife, or mistress, if they chose so to call her. +</P> + +<P> +"I immediately told Manon of the distressing message I had just +received. We conjectured that Synnelet had warped his uncle's mind +after my departure, and that it was all the effect of a premeditated +design. They were, questionless, the stronger party. We found +ourselves in New Orleans, as in the midst of the ocean, separated from +the rest of the world by an immense interval of space. In a country +perfectly unknown, a desert, or inhabited, if not by brutes, at least +by savages quite as ferocious, to what corner could we fly? I was +respected in the town, but I could not hope to excite the people in my +favour to such a degree as to derive assistance from them proportioned +to the impending danger: money was requisite for that purpose, and I +was poor. Besides, the success of a popular commotion was uncertain; +and if we failed in the attempt, our doom would be inevitably sealed. +</P> + +<P> +"I revolved these thoughts in my mind; I mentioned them in part to +Manon; I found new ones, without waiting for her replies; I determined +upon one course, and then abandoned that to adopt another; I talked to +myself, and answered my own thoughts aloud; at length I sank into a +kind of hysterical stupor that I can compare to nothing, because +nothing ever equalled it. Manon observed my emotion, and from its +violence, judged how imminent was our danger; and, apprehensive more on +my account than on her own, the dear girl could not even venture to +give expression to her fears. +</P> + +<P> +"After a multitude of reflections, I resolved to call upon the +governor, and appeal to his feelings of honour, to the recollection of +my unvarying respect for him, and the marks he had given of his own +affection for us both. Manon endeavoured to dissuade me from this +attempt: she said, with tears in her eyes, 'You are rushing into the +jaws of death; they will murder you—I shall never again see you—I am +determined to die before you.' I had great difficulty in persuading +her that it was absolutely necessary that I should go, and that she +should remain at home. I promised that she should see me again in a few +moments. She did not foresee, nor did I, that it was against herself +the whole anger of Heaven, and the rabid fury of our enemies, was about +to be concentrated. +</P> + +<P> +"I went to the fort: the governor was there with his chaplain. I +supplicated him in a tone of humble submission that I could have ill +brooked under other circumstances. I invoked his clemency by every +argument calculated to soften any heart less ferocious and cruel than a +tiger's. +</P> + +<P> +"The barbarian made to all my prayers but two short answers, which he +repeated over and over again. 'Manon,' he said, 'was at his disposal: +and he had given a promise to his nephew.' I was resolved to command +my feelings to the last: I merely replied, that I had imagined he was +too sincerely my friend to desire my death, to which I would infinitely +rather consent than to the loss of my mistress. +</P> + +<P> +"I felt persuaded, on quitting him, that it was folly to expect +anything from the obstinate tyrant, who would have damned himself a +hundred times over to please his nephew. However, I persevered in +restraining my temper to the end; deeply resolved, if they persisted in +such flagrant injustice, to make America the scene of one of the most +horrible and bloody murders that even love had ever led to. +</P> + +<P> +"I was, on my return home, meditating upon this design, when fate, as +if impatient to expedite my ruin, threw Synnelet in my way. He read in +my countenance a portion of my thoughts. I before said, he was brave. +He approached me. +</P> + +<P> +"'Are you not seeking me?' he enquired. 'I know that my intentions +have given you mortal offence, and that the death of one of us is +indispensable: let us see who is to be the happy man.' +</P> + +<P> +"I replied, that such was unquestionably the fact, and that nothing but +death could end the difference between us. +</P> + +<P> +"We retired about one hundred paces out of the town. We drew: I +wounded and disarmed him at the first onset. He was so enraged, that +he peremptorily refused either to ask his life or renounce his claims +to Manon. I might have been perhaps justified in ending both by a +single blow; but noble blood ever vindicates its origin. I threw him +back his sword. 'Let us renew the struggle,' said I to him, 'and +remember that there shall be now no quarter.' He attacked me with +redoubled fury. I must confess that I was not an accomplished +swordsman, having had but three months' tuition in Paris. Love, +however, guided my weapon. Synnelet pierced me through and through the +left arm; but I caught him whilst thus engaged, and made so vigorous a +thrust that I stretched him senseless at my feet. +</P> + +<P> +"In spite of the triumphant feeling that victory, after a mortal +conflict, inspires, I was immediately horrified by the certain +consequences of his death. There could not be the slightest hope of +either pardon or respite from the vengeance I had thus incurred. +Aware, as I was, of the affection of the governor for his nephew, I +felt perfectly sure that my death would not be delayed a single hour +after his should become known. 'Urgent as this apprehension was, it +still was by no means the principal source of my uneasiness. Manon, +the welfare of Manon, the peril that impended over her, and the +certainty of my being now at length separated from her, afflicted me to +such a degree, that I was incapable of recognising the place in which I +stood. I regretted Synnelet's death: instant suicide seemed the only +remedy for my woes. +</P> + +<P> +"However, it was this very thought that quickly restored me to my +reason, and enabled me to form a resolution. 'What,' said I to myself, +'die, in order to end my pain! Then there is something I dread more +than the loss of all I love! No, let me suffer the cruellest +extremities in order to aid her; and when these prove of no avail, fly +to death as a last resource!' +</P> + +<P> +"I returned towards the town; on my arrival at home, I found Manon half +dead with fright and anxiety: my presence restored her. I could not +conceal from her the terrible accident that had happened. On my +mentioning the death of Synnelet and my own wound, she fell in a state +of insensibility into my arms. It was a quarter of an hour before I +could bring her again to her senses. +</P> + +<P> +"I was myself in a most deplorable state of mind; I could not discern +the slightest prospect of safety for either of us. 'Manon,' said I to +her, when she had recovered a little, 'what shall we do? Alas, what +hope remains to us? I must necessarily fly. Will you remain in the +town? Yes dearest Manon, do remain; you may possibly still be happy +here; while I, far away from you, may seek death and find it amongst +the savages, or the wild beasts.' +</P> + +<P> +"She raised herself in spite of her weakness, and taking hold of my +hand to lead me towards the door: 'Let us,' said she, 'fly together, +we have not a moment to lose; Synnelet's body may be found by chance, +and we shall then have no time to escape.' 'But, dear Manon,' replied +I, 'to what place can we fly? Do you perceive any resource? Would it +not be better that you should endeavour to live on without me; and that +I should go and voluntarily place my life in the governor's hands?' +</P> + +<P> +"This proposal had only the effect of making her more impatient for our +departure. I had presence of mind enough, on going out, to take with +me some strong liquors which I had in my chamber, and as much food as I +could carry in my pockets. We told our servants, who were in the +adjoining room, that we were going to take our evening walk, as was our +invariable habit; and we left the town behind us more rapidly than I +had thought possible from Manon's delicate state of health. +</P> + +<P> +"Although I had not formed any resolve as to our future destination, I +still cherished a hope, without which I should have infinitely +preferred death to my suspense about Manon's safety. I had acquired a +sufficient knowledge of the country, during nearly ten months which I +had now passed in America, to know in what manner the natives should be +approached. Death was not the necessary consequence of falling into +their hands. I had learned a few words of their language, and some of +their customs, having had many opportunities of seeing them. +</P> + +<P> +"Besides this sad resource, I derived some hopes from the fact, that +the English had, like ourselves, established colonies in this part of +the New World. But the distance was terrific. In order to reach them, +we should have to traverse deserts of many days' journey, and more than +one range of mountains so steep and vast as to seem almost impassable +to the strongest man. I nevertheless flattered myself that we might +derive partial relief from one or other of these sources: the savages +might serve us as guides, and the English receive us in their +settlements. +</P> + +<P> +"We journeyed on as long as Manon's strength would permit, that is to +say, about six miles; for this incomparable creature, with her usual +absence of selfishness, refused my repeated entreaties to stop. +Overpowered at length by fatigue, she acknowledged the utter +impossibility of proceeding farther. It was already night: we sat down +in the midst of an extensive plain, where we could not even find a tree +to shelter us. Her first care was to dress my wound, which she had +bandaged before our departure. I, in vain, entreated her to desist from +exertion: it would have only added to her distress if I had refused her +the satisfaction of seeing me at ease and out of danger, before her own +wants were attended to. I allowed her therefore to gratify herself, +and in shame and silence submitted to her delicate attentions. +</P> + +<P> +"But when she had completed her tender task, with what ardour did I not +enter upon mine! I took off my clothes and stretched them under her, +to render more endurable the hard and rugged ground on which she lay. +I protected her delicate hands from the cold by my burning kisses and +the warmth of my sighs. I passed the livelong night in watching over +her as she slept, and praying Heaven to refresh her with soft and +undisturbed repose. 'You can bear witness, just and all-seeing God! to +the fervour and sincerity of those prayers, and Thou alone knowest with +what awful rigour they were rejected.' +</P> + +<P> +"You will excuse me, if I now cut short a story which it distresses me +beyond endurance to relate. It is, I believe, a calamity without +parallel. I can never cease to deplore it. But although it continues, +of course, deeply and indelibly impressed on my memory, yet my heart +seems to shrink within me each time that I attempt the recital. +</P> + +<P> +"We had thus tranquilly passed the night. I had fondly imagined that +my beloved mistress was in a profound sleep, and I hardly dared to +breathe lest I should disturb her. As day broke, I observed that her +hands were cold and trembling; I pressed them to my bosom in the hope +of restoring animation. This movement roused her attention, and making +an effort to grasp my hand, she said, in a feeble voice, that she +thought her last moments had arrived. +</P> + +<P> +"I, at first, took this for a passing weakness, or the ordinary +language of distress; and I answered with the usual consolations that +love prompted. But her incessant sighs, her silence, and inattention +to my enquiries, the convulsed grasp of her hands, in which she +retained mine, soon convinced me that the crowning end of all my +miseries was approaching. +</P> + +<P> +"Do not now expect me to attempt a description of my feelings, or to +repeat her dying expressions. I lost her—I received the purest +assurances of her love even at the very instant that her spirit fled. +I have not nerve to say more upon this fatal and disastrous event. +</P> + +<P> +"My spirit was not destined to accompany Manon's. Doubtless, Heaven +did not as yet consider me sufficiently punished, and therefore +ordained that I should continue to drag on a languid and joyless +existence. I willingly renounced every hope of leading a happy one. +</P> + +<P> +"I remained for twenty-four hours without taking my lips from the still +beauteous countenance and hands of my adored Manon. My intention was +to await my own death in that position; but at the beginning of the +second day, I reflected that, after I was gone, she must of necessity +become the prey of wild beasts. I then determined to bury her, and +wait my own doom upon her grave. I was already, indeed, so near my end +from the combined effect of long fasting and grief, that it was with +the greatest difficulty I could support myself standing. I was obliged +to have recourse to the liquors which I had brought with me, and these +restored sufficient strength to enable me to set about my last sad +office. From the sandy nature of the soil there was little trouble in +opening the ground. I broke my sword and used it for the purpose; but +my bare hands were of greater service. I dug a deep grave, and there +deposited the idol of my heart, after having wrapt around her my +clothes to prevent the sand from touching her. I kissed her ten +thousand times with all the ardour of the most glowing love, before I +laid her in this melancholy bed. I sat for some time upon the bank +intently gazing on her, and could not command fortitude enough to close +the grave over her. At length, feeling that my strength was giving +way, and apprehensive of its being entirely exhausted before the +completion of my task, I committed to the earth all that it had ever +contained most perfect and peerless. I then lay myself with my face +down upon the grave, and closing my eyes with the determination never +again to open them, I invoked the mercy of Heaven, and ardently prayed +for death. +</P> + +<P> +"You will find it difficult to believe that, during the whole time of +this protracted and distressing ceremony, not a tear or a sigh escaped +to relieve my agony. The state of profound affliction in which I was, +and the deep settled resolution I had taken to die, had silenced the +sighs of despair, and effectually dried up the ordinary channels of +grief. It was thus impossible for me, in this posture upon the grave, +to continue for any time in possession of my faculties. +</P> + +<P> +"After what you have listened to, the remainder of my own history would +ill repay the attention you seem inclined to bestow upon it. Synnelet +having been carried into the town and skilfully examined, it was found +that, so far from being dead, he was not even dangerously wounded. He +informed his uncle of the manner in which the affray had occurred +between us, and he generously did justice to my conduct on the +occasion. I was sent for; and as neither of us could be found, our +flight was immediately suspected. It was then too late to attempt to +trace me, but the next day and the following one were employed in the +pursuit. +</P> + +<P> +"I was found, without any appearance of life, upon the grave of Manon: +and the persons who discovered me in this situation, seeing that I was +almost naked and bleeding from my wounds, naturally supposed that I had +been robbed and assassinated. They carried me into the town. The +motion restored me to my senses. The sighs I heaved on opening my eyes +and finding myself still amongst the living, showed that I was not +beyond the reach of art: they were but too successful in its +application. +</P> + +<P> +"I was immediately confined as a close prisoner. My trial was ordered; +and as Manon was not forthcoming, I was accused of having murdered her +from rage and jealousy. I naturally related all that had occurred. +Synnelet, though bitterly grieved and disappointed by what he heard, +had the generosity to solicit my pardon: he obtained it. +</P> + +<P> +"I was so reduced, that they were obliged to carry me from the prison +to my bed, and there I suffered for three long months under severe +illness. My aversion from life knew no diminution. I continually +prayed for death, and obstinately for some time refused every remedy. +But Providence, after having punished me with atoning rigour, saw fit +to turn to my own use its chastisements and the memory of my multiplied +sorrows. It at length deigned to shed upon me its redeeming light, and +revived in my mind ideas worthy of my birth and my early education. +</P> + +<P> +"My tranquillity of mind being again restored, my cure speedily +followed. I began only to feel the highest aspirations of honour, and +diligently performed the duties of my appointment, whilst expecting the +arrival of the vessels from France, which were always due at this +period of the year. I resolved to return to my native country, there +to expiate the scandal of my former life by my future good conduct. +Synnelet had the remains of my dear mistress removed into a more +hallowed spot. +</P> + +<P> +"It was six weeks after my recovery that, one day walking alone upon +the banks of the river, I saw a vessel arrive, which some mercantile +speculation had directed to New Orleans. I stood by whilst the +passengers landed. Judge my surprise on recognising Tiberge amongst +those who proceeded towards the town. This ever-faithful friend knew +me at a distance, in spite of the ravages which care and sorrow had +worked upon my countenance. He told me that the sole object of his +voyage had been to see me once more, and to induce me to return with +him to France; that on receipt of the last letter which I had written +to him from Havre, he started for that place, and was himself the +bearer of the succour which I solicited; that he had been sensibly +affected on learning my departure, and that he would have instantly +followed me, if there had been a vessel bound for the same destination; +that he had been for several months endeavouring to hear of one in the +various seaport towns, and that, having at length found one at St. Malo +which was weighing anchor for Martinique, he embarked, in the +expectation of easily passing from thence to New Orleans; that the St. +Malo vessel having been captured by Spanish pirates and taken to one of +their islands, he had contrived to escape; and that, in short, after +many adventures, he had got on board the vessel which had just arrived, +and at length happily attained his object. +</P> + +<P> +"I was totally unable adequately to express my feelings of gratitude to +this generous and unshaken friend. I conducted him to my house, and +placed all I possessed at his service. I related to him every +circumstance that had occurred to me since I left France: and in order +to gladden him with tidings which I knew he did not expect, I assured +him that the seeds of virtue which he had in former days implanted in +my heart, were now about to produce fruit, of which even he should be +proud. He declared to me, that this gladdening announcement more than +repaid him for all the fatigue and trouble he had endured. +</P> + +<P> +"We passed two months together at New Orleans whilst waiting the +departure of a vessel direct to France; and having at length sailed, we +landed only a fortnight since at Havre-de-Grace. On my arrival I wrote +to my family. By a letter from my elder brother, I there learned my +father's death, which, I dread to think, the disorders of my youth +might have hastened. The wind being favourable for Calais, I embarked +for this port, and am now going to the house of one of my relations who +lives a few miles off, where my brother said that he should anxiously +await my arrival." +</P> + +<BR><BR> + +<P CLASS="footnote"> +[1] Some say that Love, at sight of human ties,<BR> + Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies.<BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR><BR> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Manon Lescaut, by Abbé Prévost + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANON LESCAUT *** + +***** This file should be named 468-h.htm or 468-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/4/6/468/ + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Though I rarely quitted my retreat, +still the interest I felt in my child's welfare induced me +occasionally to undertake short journeys, which, however, I took +good care to abridge as much as possible. + +I was one day returning from Rouen, where I had been, at her +request, to attend a cause then pending before the Parliament of +Normandy, respecting an inheritance to which I had claims derived +from my maternal grandfather. Having taken the road by Evreux, +where I slept the first night, I on the following day, about +dinner-time, reached Passy, a distance of five or six leagues. I +was amazed, on entering this quiet town, to see all the +inhabitants in commotion. They were pouring from their houses in +crowds, towards the gate of a small inn, immediately before which +two covered vans were drawn up. Their horses still in harness, +and reeking from fatigue and heat, showed that the cortege had +only just arrived. I stopped for a moment to learn the cause of +the tumult, but could gain little information from the curious +mob as they rushed by, heedless of my enquiries, and hastening +impatiently towards the inn in the utmost confusion. At length +an archer of the civic guard, wearing his bandolier, and carrying +a carbine on his shoulder, appeared at the gate; so, beckoning +him towards me, I begged to know the cause of the uproar. +"Nothing, sir," said he, "but a dozen of the frail sisterhood, +that I and my comrades are conducting to Havre-de-Grace, whence +we are to ship them for America. There are one or two of them +pretty enough; and it is that, apparently, which attracts the +curiosity of these good people." + +I should have passed on, satisfied with this explanation, if my +attention had not been arrested by the cries of an old woman, who +was coming out of the inn with her hands clasped, and exclaiming: + +"A downright barbarity!--A scene to excite horror and +compassion!" "What may this mean?" I enquired. "Oh! sir; go +into the house yourself," said the woman, "and see if it is not a +sight to rend your heart!" Curiosity made me dismount; and +leaving my horse to the care of the ostler, I made my way with +some difficulty through the crowd, and did indeed behold a scene +sufficiently touching. + +Among the twelve girls, who were chained together by the waist in +two rows, there was one, whose whole air and figure seemed so +ill-suited to her present condition, that under other +circumstances I should not have hesitated to pronounce her a +person of high birth. Her excessive grief, and even the +wretchedness of her attire, detracted so little from her +surpassing beauty, that at first sight of her I was inspired with +a mingled feeling of respect and pity. + +She tried, as well as the chain would permit her, to turn herself +away, and hide her face from the rude gaze of the spectators. +There was something so unaffected in the effort she made to +escape observation, that it could but have sprung from natural +and innate modesty alone. + +As the six men who escorted the unhappy train were together in +the room, I took the chief one aside and asked for information +respecting this beautiful girl. All that he could supply was of +the most vague kind. "We brought her," he said, "from the +Hospital, by order of the lieutenant-general of police. There is +no reason to suppose that she was shut up there for good conduct. + +"I have questioned her often upon the road; but she persists in +refusing even to answer me. Yet, although I received no orders +to make any distinction between her and the others, I cannot help +treating her differently, for she seems to me somewhat superior +to her companions. Yonder is a young man," continued the +archer, "who can tell you, better than I can, the cause of her +misfortunes. He has followed her from Paris, and has scarcely dried +his tears for a single moment. He must be either her brother or +her lover." + +I turned towards the corner of the room, where this young man was +seated. He seemed buried in a profound reverie. Never did I +behold a more affecting picture of grief. He was plainly +dressed; but one may discover at the first glance a man of birth +and education. As I approached him he rose, and there was so +refined and noble an expression in his eyes, in his whole +countenance, in his every movement, that I felt an involuntary +impulse to render him any service in my power. "I am unwilling +to intrude upon your sorrows," said I, taking a seat beside him, +"but you will, perhaps, gratify the desire I feel to learn +something about that beautiful girl, who seems little formed by +nature for the miserable condition in which she is placed." + +He answered me candidly, that he could not communicate her +history without making himself known, and that he had urgent +reasons for preserving his own incognito. "I may, however, tell +you this much, for it is no longer a secret to these wretches," +he continued, pointing to the guards,--"that I adore her with a +passion so ardent and absorbing as to render me the most unhappy +of human beings. I tried every means at Paris to effect her +liberty. Petitions, artifice, force--all failed. Go where +she may, I have resolved to follow her--to the extremity of the +world. I shall embark with her and cross to America. + +"But think of the brutal inhumanity of these cowardly ruffians," +he added, speaking of the guards; "they will not allow me to +approach her! I had planned an open attack upon them some +leagues from Paris; having secured, as I thought, the aid of four +men, who for a considerable sum hired me their services. The +traitors, however, left me to execute my scheme single-handed, +and decamped with my money. The impossibility of success made me +of course abandon the attempt, I then implored of the guards +permission to follow in their train, promising them a recompense. +The love of money procured their consent; but as they required +payment every time I was allowed to speak to her, my purse was +speedily emptied; and now that I am utterly penniless, they are +barbarous enough to repulse me brutally, whenever I make the +slightest attempt to approach her. It is but a moment since, +that venturing to do so, in spite of their threats, one of the +fellows raised the butt-end of his musket. I am now driven by +their exactions to dispose of the miserable horse that has +brought me hither, and am preparing to continue the journey on foot." + +Although he seemed to recite this story tranquilly enough, I +observed the tears start to his eyes as he concluded. This +adventure struck me as being not less singular than it was +affecting. "I do not press you," said I to him, "to make me the +confidant of your secrets; but if I can be of use to you in any +way, I gladly tender you my services." "Alas!" replied he, +"I see not the slightest ray of hope. I must reconcile myself +to my destiny in all its rigour. I shall go to America: there, +at least, I may be free to live with her I love. I have written +to a friend, who will send me money to Havre-de-Grace. My only +difficulty is to get so far, and to supply that poor creature," +added he, as he cast a look of sorrow at his mistress, "with +some few comforts upon the way." "Well!" said I to him, "I +shall relieve you from that difficulty. Here is some money, of +which I entreat your acceptance: I am only sorry that I can be of +no greater service to you." + +I gave him four louis-d'ors without being perceived by the +guards; for I thought that if they knew he had this money, they +might have raised the price of their concessions. It occurred to +me, even, to come to an understanding with them, in order to +secure for the young man the privilege of conversing with his +mistress, during the rest of the journey to Havre, without +hindrance. I beckoned the chief to approach, and made the +proposition to him. It seemed to abash the ruffian, in spite of +his habitual effrontery. "It is not, sir," said he, in an +embarrassed tone, "that we refuse to let him speak to the girl, +but he wishes to be always near her, which puts us to +inconvenience; and it is just that we should be paid for the +trouble he occasions." "Let us see!" said I to him, "what +would suffice to prevent you from feeling the inconvenience?" +He had the audacity to demand two louis. I gave them +to him on the spot. "But have a care," said I to him, +"that we have no foul play: for I shall give the young man my +address, in order that he may write to me on his arrival; and be +assured that I am not without the power to punish you." It cost +me altogether six louis-d'ors. + +The graceful manner and heartfelt gratitude with which the young +unknown thanked me, confirmed my notion that he was of good birth +and merited my kindness. I addressed a few words to his mistress +before I left the room. She replied to me with a modesty so +gentle and so charming that I could not help making, as I went +out, a thousand reflections upon the incomprehensible character +of women. + +Returned to my retreat, I remained in ignorance of the result of +this adventure; and ere two years had passed, it was completely +blotted from my recollection, when chance brought me an +opportunity of learning all the circumstances from beginning to +end. + +I arrived at Calais, from London, with my pupil, the Marquis of +----. We lodged, if I remember rightly, at the "Golden Lion," +where, for some reason, we were obliged to spend the following +day and night. Walking along the streets in the afternoon, I +fancied I saw the same young man whom I had formerly met at +Passy. He was miserably dressed, and much paler than when I +first saw him. He carried on his arm an old portmanteau, having +only just arrived in the town. However, there was an expression +in his countenance too amiable not to be easily recognised, and +which immediately brought his features to my recollection. +"Observe that young man," said I to the Marquis; "we must +accost him." + +His joy was beyond expression when, in his turn, he recognised +me. + +"Ah, sir!" he cried, kissing my hand, "I have then once again +an opportunity of testifying my eternal gratitude to you!" I +enquired of him whence he came. He replied, that he had just +arrived, by sea, from Havre, where he had lately landed from +America. "You do not seem to be too well off for money," said +I to him; "go on to the `Golden Lion,' where I am lodging; I +will join you in a moment." + +I returned, in fact, full of impatience to learn the details of +his misfortunes, and the circumstances of his voyage to America. +I gave him a thousand welcomes, and ordered that they should +supply him with everything he wanted. He did not wait to be +solicited for the history of his life. "Sir," said he to me, +"your conduct is so generous, that I should consider it base +ingratitude to maintain any reserve towards you. You shall learn +not only my misfortunes and sufferings, but my faults and most +culpable weaknesses. I am sure that, even while you blame me, +you will not refuse me your sympathy." + +I should here inform the reader that I wrote down the story +almost immediately after hearing it; and he may, therefore, be +assured of the correctness and fidelity of the narrative. I use +the word fidelity with reference to the substance of reflections +and sentiments, which the young man conveyed in the most graceful +language. Here, then, is his story, which in its progress I +shall not encumber with a single observation that was not his own. + + + +II + + +I loved Ophelia! forty thousand brothers +Could not, with all their quantity of love, +Make up my sum. + +SHAKESPEARE. + + +"I was seventeen years old, and was finishing my studies at +Amiens, whither my parents, who belonged to one of the first +families in Picardy, had sent me. I led a life so studious and +well regulated, that my masters pointed to me as a model of +conduct for the other scholars. Not that I made any +extraordinary efforts to acquire this reputation, but my +disposition was naturally tractable and tranquil; my inclinations +led me to apply to study; and even the natural dislike I felt for +vice was placed to my credit as positive proof of virtue. The +successful progress of my studies, my birth, and some external +advantages of person, made me a general favourite with the +inhabitants of the town. + +"I completed my public exercises with such general approbation, +that the bishop of the diocese, who was present, proposed to me +to enter the church, where I could not fail, he said, to acquire +more distinction than in the Order of Malta, for which my parents +had destined me. I was already decorated with the Cross, and +called the Chevalier des Grieux. The vacation having arrived, I +was preparing to return to my father, who had promised to send me +soon to the Academy. + +"My only regret on quitting Amiens arose from parting with a +friend, some years older than myself, to whom I had always been +tenderly attached. We had been brought up together; but from the +straitened circumstances of his family, he was intended to take +orders, and was to remain after me at Amiens to complete the +requisite studies for his sacred calling. He had a thousand good +qualities. You will recognise in him the very best during the +course of my history, and above all, a zeal and fervour of +friendship which surpass the most illustrious examples of +antiquity. If I had at that time followed his advice, I should +have always continued a discreet and happy man. If I had even +taken counsel from his reproaches, when on the brink of that gulf +into which my passions afterwards plunged me, I should have been +spared the melancholy wreck of both fortune and reputation. But +he was doomed to see his friendly admonitions disregarded; nay, +even at times repaid by contempt from an ungrateful wretch, who +often dared to treat his fraternal conduct as offensive and +officious. + +"I had fixed the day for my departure from Amiens. Alas! that I +had not fixed it one day sooner! I should then have carried to +my father's house my innocence untarnished. + +"The very evening before my expected departure, as I was walking +with my friend, whose name was Tiberge, we saw the Arras +diligence arrive, and sauntered after it to the inn, at which +these coaches stop. We had no other motive than curiosity. Some +worn men alighted, and immediately retired into the inn. One +remained behind: she was very young, and stood by herself in the +court, while a man of advanced age, who appeared to have charge +of her, was busy in getting her luggage from the vehicle. She +struck me as being so extremely beautiful, that I, who had never +before thought of the difference between the sexes, or looked on +woman with the slightest attention--I, whose conduct had been +hitherto the theme of universal admiration, felt myself, on the +instant, deprived of my reason and self-control. I had been +always excessively timid, and easily disconcerted; but now, +instead of meeting with any impediment from this weakness, I +advanced without the slightest reserve towards her, who had thus +become, in a moment, the mistress of my heart. + +"Although younger than myself, she received my civilities +without embarrassment. I asked the cause of her journey to +Amiens, and whether she had any acquaintances in the town. She +ingenuously told me that she had been sent there by her parents, +to commence her novitiate for taking the veil. Love had so +quickened my perception, even in the short moment it had been +enthroned, that I saw in this announcement a death-blow to my +hopes. I spoke to her in a way that made her at once understand +what was passing in my mind; for she had more experience than +myself. It was against her consent that she was consigned to a +convent, doubtless to repress that inclination for pleasure which +had already become too manifest, and which caused, in the sequel, +all her misfortunes and mine. I combated the cruel intention of +her parents with all the arguments that my new-born passion and +schoolboy eloquence could suggest. She affected neither +austerity nor reserve. She told me, after a moment's silence, +that she foresaw too clearly, what her unhappy fate must be; but +that it was, apparently, the will of Heaven, since there were no +means left her to avert it. The sweetness of her look, the air +of sorrow with which she pronounced these words, or rather +perhaps the controlling destiny which led me on to ruin, allowed +me not an instant to weigh my answer. I assured her that if she +would place reliance on my honour, and on the tender interest +with which she had already inspired me, I would sacrifice my life +to deliver her from the tyranny of her parents, and to render her +happy. I have since been a thousand times astonished in +reflecting upon it, to think how I could have expressed myself +with so much boldness and facility; but love could never have +become a divinity, if he had not often worked miracles. + +"I made many other pressing and tender speeches; and my unknown +fair one was perfectly aware that mine was not the age for +deceit. She confessed to me that if I could see but a reasonable +hope of being able to effect her enfranchisement, she should deem +herself indebted for my kindness in more than life itself could +pay. I repeated that I was ready to attempt anything in her +behalf; but, not having sufficient experience at once to imagine +any reasonable plan of serving her, I did not go beyond this +general assurance, from which indeed little good could arise +either to her or to myself. Her old guardian having by this time +joined us, my hopes would have been blighted, but that she had +tact enough to make amends for my stupidity. I was surprised, on +his approaching us, to hear her call me her cousin, and say, +without being in the slightest degree disconcerted, that as she +had been so fortunate as to fall in with me at Amiens, she would +not go into the convent until the next morning, in order to have +the pleasure of meeting me at supper. Innocent as I was, I at +once comprehended the meaning of this ruse; and proposed that she +should lodge for the night at the house of an innkeeper, who, +after being many years my father's coachman, had lately +established himself at Amiens, and who was sincerely attached to +me. + +"I conducted her there myself, at which the old Argus appeared +to grumble a little; and my friend Tiberge, who was puzzled by +the whole scene, followed, without uttering a word. He had not +heard our conversation, having walked up and down the court while +I was talking of love to my angelic mistress. As I had some +doubts of his discretion, I got rid of him, by begging that he +would execute a commission for me. I had thus the happiness, on +arriving at the inn, of entertaining alone the sovereign of my +heart. + +"I soon learned that I was less a child than I had before +imagined. My heart expanded to a thousand sentiments of +pleasure, of which I had not before the remotest idea. A +delicious consciousness of enjoyment diffused itself through my +whole mind and soul. I sank into a kind of ecstasy, which +deprived me for a time of the power of utterance, and which found +vent only in a flood of tears. + +"Manon Lescaut (this she told me was her name) seemed gratified +by the visible effect of her own charms. She appeared to me not +less excited than myself. She acknowledged that she was greatly +pleased with me, and that she should be enchanted to owe to me +her freedom and future happiness. She would insist on hearing +who I was, and the knowledge only augmented her affection; for, +being herself of humble birth, she was flattered by securing for +her lover a man of family. + +"After many reflections we could discover no other resource than +in flight. To effect this it would be requisite to cheat the +vigilance of Manon's guardian, who required management, although +he was but a servant. We determined, therefore, that, during the +night, I should procure a post-chaise, and return with it at +break of day to the inn, before he was awake; that we should +steal away quietly, and go straight to Paris, where we might be +married on our arrival. I had about fifty crowns in my pocket, +the fruit of my little savings at school; and she had about twice +as much. We imagined, like inexperienced children, that such a +sum could never be exhausted, and we counted, with equal +confidence, upon the success of our other schemes. + +"After having supped, with certainly more satisfaction than I +had ever before experienced, I retired to prepare for our +project. All my arrangements were the more easy, because, for +the purpose of returning on the morrow to my father's, my luggage +had been already packed. I had, therefore, no difficulty in +removing my trunk, and having a chaise prepared for five o'clock +in the morning, at which hour the gates of the town would be +opened; but I encountered an obstacle which I was little prepared +for, and which nearly upset all my plans. + +"Tiberge, although only three years older than myself, was a +youth of unusually strong mind, and of the best regulated +conduct. He loved me with singular affection. The sight of so +lovely a girl as Manon, my ill-disguised impatience to conduct +her to the inn, and the anxiety I betrayed to get rid of him, had +excited in his mind some suspicions of my passion. He had not +ventured to return to the inn where he had left me, for fear of +my being annoyed at his doing so; but went to wait for me at my +lodgings, where, although it was ten o'clock at night, I found +him on my arrival. His presence annoyed me, and he soon +perceived the restraint which it imposed. `I am certain,' he +said to me, without any disguise, `that you have some plan in +contemplation which you will not confide to me; I see it by your +manner.' I answered him rather abruptly, that I was not bound to +render him an account of all my movements. `Certainly not!' he +replied; `but you have always, hitherto, treated me as a friend, +and that appellation implies a certain degree of confidence and +candour.' He pressed me so much and so earnestly to discover my +secret, that, having never up to that moment felt the slightest +reserve towards him, I confided to him now the whole history of +my passion. He heard it with an appearance of disapprobation, +which made me tremble; and I immediately repented of my +indiscretion, in telling him of my intended elopement. He told +me he was too sincerely my friend not to oppose every obstacle in +his power to such a scheme; that he would first try all other +means of turning me from such a purpose, but that if I refused to +renounce so fatal a resolution, he assuredly would inform some +persons of my intention, who would be able to defeat it. He held +forth upon the subject for a full quarter of an hour, in the most +serious tone, and ended by again threatening to inform against +me, if I did not pledge him my word that I would return to the +paths of discretion and reason. + +"I was in despair at having so awkwardly betrayed myself. +However, love having wonderfully sharpened my intellect during +the last two or three hours, I recollected that I had not yet +told him of its being my intention to execute my project on the +following morning, and I at once determined to deceive him by a +little equivocation. + +"`Tiberge,' said I to him, `up to the present moment I thought +you were my friend; and I wished to prove it by the test of +confidence. It is true, I am in love; I have not deceived you: +but with regard to my flight, that is a project not to be +undertaken without deliberation. Call for me tomorrow at nine +o'clock: you shall see my mistress, if it be possible, and then +judge whether she is not worthy of any risk or sacrifice on my +part.' He left me, with a thousand protestations of friendship. + +"I employed the night in preparing for the journey, and on +repairing to the inn at early dawn, I found Manon waiting my +arrival. She was at her window, which looked upon the street, +and perceiving my approach, she came down and opened the door +herself. We took our departure silently, and without creating +the least alarm. She merely brought away a small portion of her +apparel, of which I took charge. The chaise was in readiness, +and we were soon at a distance from the town. + +"You will learn in the sequel what was the conduct of Tiberge +when he discovered that I had deceived him; that his zeal to +serve me suffered no diminution; and you will observe to what +lengths his devotion carried him. How ought I to grieve, when I +reflect on the base ingratitude with which his affection was +always repaid! + +"We made such speed on our journey that before night we reached +St. Denis. I rode alongside of the chaise, which gave us little +opportunity for conversation, except while changing horses; but +when we found ourselves so near Paris, and out of the reach of +danger, we allowed ourselves time for refreshment, not having +tasted food since we quitted Amiens. Passionately in love as I +felt with Manon, she knew how to convince me that she was equally +so with me. So little did we restrain our fondness, that we had +not even patience to reserve our caresses till we were alone. +The postilions and innkeepers stared at us with wonder, and I +remarked that they appeared surprised at such uncontrollable love +in children of our age. + +"Our project of marriage was forgotten at St. Denis; we +defrauded the Church of her rights; and found ourselves united as +man and wife without reflecting on the consequences. It is +certain that with my easy and constant disposition, I should have +been happy for my whole life, if Manon had remained faithful to +me. The more I saw of her, the more I discovered in her new +perfections. Her mind, her heart, her gentleness and beauty, +formed a chain at once so binding and so agreeable, that I could +have found perfect happiness in its enduring influence. Terrible +fatality? that which has been the source of my despair, might, +under a slight change of circumstances, have constituted my +happiness. I find myself the most wretched of mankind, by the +force of that very constancy from which I might have fairly +expected to derive the most serene of human blisses, and the most +perfect recompense of love. + +"We took a furnished apartment at Paris, in the Rue V----, and, as +it afterwards turned out, to my sorrow, close to the house of M. +de B----, the famous Fermier-general. Three weeks passed, during +which I was so absorbed in my passion, that I never gave a +thought to my family, nor dreamed of the distress which my father +probably felt at my absence. However, as there was yet nothing +of profligacy about me, and as Manon conducted herself with the +strictest propriety, the tranquil life we led served to restore +me by degrees to a sense of duty. + +"I resolved to effect, if possible, a reconciliation with my +parent. My mistress was to me so perfectly lovable, that I could +not a doubt her power of captivating my father, if I could only +find the means of making him acquainted with her good conduct and +merit. In a word, I relied on obtaining his consent to our +marriage, having given up all idea of accomplishing it without +his approval. I mentioned the project to Manon, and explained to +her that, besides every motive of filial love and duty, the +weightier one of necessity should also have some influence; for +our finances were sadly reduced, and I began to see the folly of +thinking them, as I once did, inexhaustible. + +"Manon received the proposition with considerable coldness. +However, the difficulties she made, being apparently the +suggestions of tenderness alone, or as arising from the natural +fear of losing me, if my father, after learning our address, +should refuse his assent to our union, I had not the smallest +suspicion of the cruel blow she was at the very time preparing to +inflict. As to the argument of necessity, she replied that we +had still abundant means of living for some weeks longer, and +that she would then find a resource in the kindness of some +relations in the country, to whom she should write. She tempered +her opposition by caresses so tender and impassioned, that I, who +lived only for her, and who never had the slightest misgiving as +to her love, applauded at once her arguments and her resolutions. + +"To Manon I had committed the care of our finances, and the +house-hold arrangements. In a short time, I observed that our +style of living was improved, and that she had treated herself to +more expensive dresses. As I calculated that we could hardly +have at this period more than fifteen or twenty crowns remaining, +I did not conceal my surprise at this mysterious augmentation of +our wealth. She begged of me, with a smile, to give myself no +trouble on that head. `Did I not promise you,' said she, `that I +would find resources?' I loved her too purely to experience the +slightest suspicion. + +"One day, having gone out in the afternoon, and told her that I +should not be at home so early as usual, I was astonished, on my +return, at being detained several minutes at the door. Our only +servant was a young girl about our own age. On her letting me in +at last, I asked why she had detained me so long? She replied in +an embarrassed tone, that she did not hear me knock. `I only +knocked once,' said I; `so if you did not hear me, why come to +open the door at all?' This query disconcerted her so visibly, +that losing her presence of mind, she began to cry, assuring me +that it was not her fault; and that her mistress had desired her +not to open the door until M. de B----had had time to go down by +the back staircase. I was so confounded by this information as +to be utterly unable to proceed to our apartment; and was obliged +to leave the house, under the pretext of an appointment. I +desired the girl, therefore, to let her mistress know that I +should return in a few minutes, but on no account to say that she +had spoken to me of M. de B----. + +"My horror was so great, that I shed tears as I went along, +hardly knowing from what feeling they flowed. I entered a +coffee-house close by, and placing myself at a table, I buried my +face between my hands, as though I would turn my eyes inward to +ascertain what was passing in my heart. Still, I dared not +recall what I had heard the moment before. I strove to look upon +it as a dream; and was more than once on the point of returning +to my lodgings, determined to attach no importance to what I had +heard. + +"It appeared to me so impossible that Manon could have been +unfaithful, that I feared even to wrong her by a suspicion. I +adored her--that was too certain; I had not on my part given her +more proofs of my love than I had received of hers; why then +should I charge her with being less sincere and constant than +myself? What reason could she have to deceive me? Not three +hours before, she had lavished upon me the most tender caresses, +and had received mine with transport: I knew her heart as +thoroughly as my own. `No, no!' I said, `it is not possible that +Manon can have deceived me. She well knows that I live but for +her; that I adore her: upon that point I can have no reason to be +unhappy.' + +"Notwithstanding these reflections, the visit of M. de B----, +and his secret departure, gave me some uneasiness. I remembered, +too, the little purchases she had lately made, which seemed +beyond our present means. This looked like the liberality of a +new lover. And the confidence with which she had foretold +resources which were to me unknown? I had some difficulty in +solving these mysteries in as favourable a manner as my heart +desired. + +"On the other hand, she had been hardly out of my sight since we +entered Paris. However occupied, in our walks, in all our +amusements, she was ever at my side. Heavens! even a momentary +separation would have been too painful. I could not therefore +imagine how Manon could, to any other person, have devoted a +single instant. + +"At last I thought I had discovered a clue to the mystery. `M. +de B----' said I to myself, `is a man extensively engaged in +commercial affairs; and Manon's relations have no doubt remitted +her money through his house. She has probably already received +some from him, and he is come today to bring her more. She +wishes, perhaps, to derive amusement by and by, from an agreeable +surprise, by keeping me at present in the dark. She would +doubtless have at once told me all, if I had gone in as usual, +instead of coming here to distress myself: at all events, she +will not conceal it from me when I broach the subject myself.' + +"I cherished this idea so willingly, that it considerably +lightened my grief. I immediately returned to my lodgings, and +embraced Manon as tenderly as ever. She received me as usual. +At first I was tempted to mention my conjectures, which I now, +more than ever, looked upon as certain; but I restrained myself +in the hope that she might render it unnecessary by informing me +of all that had passed. + +"Supper was served. Assuming an air of gaiety, I took my seat +at table; but by the light of the candles which were between us, +I fancied I perceived an air of melancholy about the eyes and +countenance of my beloved mistress. The very thought soon damped +my gaiety. I remarked that her looks wore an unusual expression, +and although nothing could be more soft or languishing, I was at +a loss to discover whether they conveyed more of love than of +compassion. I gazed at her with equal earnestness, and she +perhaps had no less difficulty in comprehending from my +countenance what was passing in my heart. We neither spoke nor +ate. At length I saw tears starting from her beauteous +eyes--perfidious tears! `Oh heavens!' I cried, `my dearest +Manon, why allow your sorrows to afflict you to this degree +without imparting their cause to me?' She answered me only with +sighs, which increased my misery. I arose trembling from my +seat: I conjured her, with all the urgent earnestness of love, to +let me know the cause of her grief: I wept in endeavouring to +soothe her sorrows: I was more dead than alive. A barbarian +would have pitied my sufferings as I stood trembling with grief +and apprehension. + +"While my attention was thus confined to her, I heard people +coming upstairs. They tapped gently at the door. Manon gave me +a kiss, and escaping from my arms, quickly entered the boudoir, +turning the key after her. I imagined that, not being dressed to +receive strangers, she was unwilling to meet the persons who had +knocked; I went to let them in. + +"I had hardly opened the door, when I found myself seized by +three men, whom I recognised as my father's servants. They +offered not the least violence, but two of them taking me by the +arms, the third examined my pockets, and took out a small knife, +the only weapon I had about me. They begged pardon for the +necessity they were under of treating me with apparent +disrespect; telling me frankly that they were acting by the +orders of my father, and that my eldest brother was in a carriage +below waiting to receive me. My feelings were so overpowered, +that I allowed myself to be led away without making either reply +or resistance. I found my brother waiting for me as they had +stated. They placed me by his side, and the coachman immediately +drove, by his orders, towards St. Denis. + +"My brother embraced me most affectionately, but during our ride, +he uttered not a word, so that, as I was not inclined for +conversation, I had as much leisure as I could desire to reflect +upon my misfortunes. + + + +III + + +That we can call these delicate creatures ours, +And not their appetites. + +SHAKESPEARE. + + +"The whole affair was so involved in obscurity that I could not +see my way even to a reasonable conjecture. I was cruelly +betrayed--that was certain; but by whom? Tiberge first occurred +to me. `Tiberge!' said I, `it is as much as thy life is worth, +if my suspicions turn out to be well founded.' However, I +recollected that he could not by possibility know my abode; and +therefore, he could not have furnished the information. To +accuse Manon was more than my heart was capable of. The unusual +melancholy with which she had lately seemed weighed down, her +tears, the tender kiss she gave me in parting, made it all as yet +a mystery to me. I could only look upon her recent melancholy as +a presentiment of our common misfortune; and while I was +deploring the event which tore me from her, I was credulous +enough to consider her fate as much deserving of pity as my own. + +"The result of my reflections was, that I had been seen and +followed in the streets of Paris by some persons of my +acquaintance, who had conveyed the information to my father. +This idea comforted me. I made up my mind to encounter some +reproaches, or perhaps harsh treatment, for having outraged the +paternal authority. I resolved, however, to suffer with +patience, and to promise all that might be required of me, in +order to facilitate my speedy return to Paris, that I might +restore life and happiness to my dear Manon. + +"We soon arrived at St. Denis. My brother, surprised at my long +silence, thought it the effect of fear. He assured me that I had +nothing to apprehend from my father's severity, provided I showed +a disposition to return quietly to the path of duty, and prove +myself worthy of his affection. He made me pass the night at St. +Denis, merely taking the precaution of putting the three lackeys +to sleep in my room. It cost me a pang to find myself in the +same inn where I had stopped with Manon on our way from Amiens to +Paris. The innkeeper and his servants recognised me, and guessed +at once the truth of my history. I overheard them say, `Ah! +that's the handsome young gentleman who travelled this road about +a month ago, with the beautiful girl he appeared so much in love +with! How pretty she was! The poor young things, how they +caressed each other! Pity if they have been separated!' I +pretended not to hear, and kept as much out of sight as possible. + +"At St. Denis my brother had a chariot waiting for us, in which +we started early the next morning, and arrived at home before +night. + +"He saw my father first, in order to make a favourable impression +by telling him how quietly I had allowed myself to be brought +away, so that his reception of me was less austere than I had +expected. He merely rebuked me in general terms for the offence +I had committed, by absenting myself without his permission. As +for my mistress, he said I richly deserved what had happened to +me, for abandoning myself to a person utterly unknown; that he +had entertained a better opinion of my discretion; but that he +hoped this little adventure would make me wiser. I took the +whole lecture only in the sense that accorded with my own +notions. I thanked my father for his indulgence, and promised +that I would in future observe a better regulated and more +obedient course of conduct. I felt that I had secured a triumph; +for, from the present aspect of affairs, there was no doubt that +I should be free to effect my escape from the house even before +the night was over. + +"We sat down to supper. They rallied me about my Amiens +conquest, and my flight with that paragon of fidelity. I took +their jokes in good part, glad enough at being permitted to +revolve in my mind the plans I had meditated; but some words +which fell from my father made me listen with earnest attention. +He spoke of perfidy, and the not disinterested kindness he had +received at the hands of M. de B----. I was almost paralysed on +hearing the name, and begged of my father to explain himself. He +turned to my brother, to ask if he had not told me the whole +story. My brother answered, that I appeared to him so tranquil +upon the road, that he did not suppose I required this remedy to +cure me of my folly. I remarked that my father was doubtful +whether he should give me the explanation or not. I entreated +him so earnestly that he satisfied me, or I should rather say +tortured me, with the following most horrible narration. + +"He began by asking me whether I was really simple enough to +believe that I had been really loved by the girl. I told him +confidently that I was perfectly sure of it, and that nothing +could make me for a moment doubt it. `Ha, ha, ha!' said he, with +a loud laugh; `that is excellent! you are a pretty dupe! +Admirable idea! 'Twould be a thousand pities, my poor chevalier, +to make you a Knight of Malta, with all the requisites you +possess for a patient and accommodating husband.' He continued +in the same tone to ridicule what he was pleased to call my +dullness and credulity. + +"He concluded, while I maintained a profound silence, by saying +that, according to the nicest calculation he could make of the +time since my departure from Amiens, Manon must have been in love +with me about twelve days; `for,' said he, `I know that you left +Amiens on the 28th of last month; this is, the 29th of the +present; it is eleven days since M. de B---- wrote to me; I +suppose he required eight days to establish a perfect +understanding with your mistress; so that, take eight and eleven +from thirty-one days, the time between the 28th of one month and +the 29th of the next, there remains twelve, more or less!' This +joke was followed by shouts of laughter. + +"I heard it all with a kind of sinking of the heart that I +thought I could not bear up against, until he finished. `You +must know then,' continued my father, `since you appear as yet +ignorant of it, that M. de B---- has won the affections of your +idol; for he can't be serious in pretending that it is his +disinterested regard for me that has induced him to take her from +you. It would be absurd to expect such noble sentiments from a +man of his description, and one, besides, who is a perfect +stranger to me. He knew that you were my son, and in order to +get rid of you, he wrote to inform me of your abode, and of the +life you led; saying, at the same time, that strong measures +would be necessary to secure you. + +"He offered to procure me the means of laying hold of you; and it +was by his direction, as well as that of your mistress herself, +that your brother hit upon the moment for catching you unawares. +Now, you may congratulate yourself upon the duration of your +triumph. You know how to conquer, rapid enough; but you have yet +to learn how to secure your conquests.' + +"I could no longer endure these remarks, every one of which +struck a dagger to my heart. I arose from the table, and had not +advanced four steps towards the door, when I fell upon the floor, +perfectly senseless. By prompt applications they soon brought me +to myself. My eyes opened only to shed a torrent of tears, and +my lips to utter the most sorrowful and heartrending complaints. +My father, who always loved me most affectionately, tried every +means to console me. I listened to him, but his words were +without effect. I threw myself at his feet, in the attitude of +prayer, conjuring him to let me return to Paris, and destroy the +monster B----. `No!'cried I; `he has not gained Manon's heart; +he may have seduced her by charms, or by drugs; he may have even +brutally violated her. Manon loves me. Do I not know that well? +He must have terrified her with a poniard, to induce her to +abandon me.' What must he not have done to have robbed me of my +angelic mistress? Oh Heaven! Heaven! can it be possible that +Manon deceived me, or that she has ceased to love me! + +"As I continued to rave about returning at once to Paris, and +was perpetually starting up with that purpose, my father clearly +saw that while the paroxysm lasted, no arguments could pacify me. +He conducted me to one of the upper rooms, and left two servants +to keep constant watch over me. I was completely bewildered. I +would have given a thousand lives to be but for one quarter of an +hour in Paris. I had sense enough, however, to know that having +so openly declared my intention, they would not easily allow me +to quit my chamber. I looked at the height of the windows. +Seeing no possibility of escaping that way, I addressed the +servants in the most tranquil tone. I promised, with the most +solemn vows, to make at some future day their fortunes, if they +would but consent to my escape. I entreated them; I tried +caresses, and lastly threats; but all were unavailing. I gave +myself up to despair. I resolved to die; and threw myself upon +the bed, with a firm determination to quit it only with my life. +In this situation I passed the night and the following day. I +refused the nourishment that was brought to me next morning. + +"My father came to see me in the afternoon. He tried in the +most affectionate manner, to soothe my grief. He desired me so +urgently to take some refreshment, that, to gratify him, I obeyed +his wishes. Several days passed, during which I took nothing but +in his presence, and at his special request. He continued to +furnish new arguments to restore me to my proper senses, and to +inspire me with merited contempt for the faithless Manon. I +certainly had lost all esteem for her: how could I esteem the +most fickle and perfidious of created beings! But her +image--those exquisite features, which were engraven on my +heart's core, were still uneffaced. I understood my own +feelings: `I may die,' said I, `and I ought to die after so much +shame and grief; but I might suffer a thousand deaths without +being able to forget the ingrate Manon.' + +"My father was surprised at my still continuing so powerfully +affected. He knew that I was imbued with the principles of +honour; and not doubting that her infidelity must make me despise +her, fancied that my obstinacy proceeded less from this +particular passion, than from a general inclination towards the +sex. This idea so took possession of his mind, that, prompted +only by his affection for me, he came one day to reveal his +thoughts. `Chevalier,' said he to me, `it has been hitherto my +intention to make you bear the Cross of Malta: I now see that +your inclinations do not bend that way. You are an admirer of +beauty. I shall be able to find you a wife to your taste. Let +me candidly know how you feel upon the subject.' + +"I answered that I could never again see the slightest +difference amongst women, and that after the misfortune I had +experienced, I detested them all equally. `I will find you one,' +replied my father, smiling, `who shall resemble Manon in beauty, +but who shall be more faithful.' `Ah! if you have any mercy,' +said I, `you will restore my Manon to me. Be assured, my dear +father, that she has not betrayed me; she is incapable of such +base and cruel treachery. It is the perfidious B---- who +deceives both her and me. If you could form an idea of her +tenderness and her sincerity--if you only knew her, you yourself +would love her!' `You are absolutely a child,' replied my +father. `How can you so delude yourself, after what I have told +you about her? It was she who actually delivered you up to your +brother. You ought to obliterate even her name from your memory, +and take advantage, if you are wise, of the indulgence I am +showing you.' + +"I very clearly perceived that my father was right. It was an +involuntary emotion that made me thus take part with the traitor. +`Alas!' replied I, after a moment's silence, `it is but too true +that I am the unhappy victim of the vilest perfidy. Yes,' I +continued, while shedding tears of anger, `I too clearly perceive +that I am indeed but a child. Credulity like mine was easily +gulled; but I shall be at no loss to revenge myself.' My father +enquired of me my intentions: `I will go to Paris,' I said, `set +fire to B----'s house, and immolate him and the perfidious Manon +together.' This burst made my father laugh, and had only the +effect of causing me to be more vigilantly watched in my cell. + +"I thus passed six long months; during the first of which my mind +underwent little change. My feelings were in a state of +perpetual alternation between hate and love; between hope and +despair; according as, the tendency of each passing thought +brought Manon back to my recollection. At one time, I could see +in her the most delightful of women only, and sigh for the +pleasure of beholding her once more; at another, I felt she was +the most unworthy and perfidious of mistresses, and I would on +these occasions swear never again to seek her, but for the +purpose of revenge. + +"I was supplied with books, which served to restore my peace of +mind. I read once again all my favourite authors; and I became +acquainted with new ones. All my former taste for study was +revived. You will see of what use this was to me in the sequel. +The light I had already derived from love, enabled me to +comprehend many passages in Horace and Virgil which had before +appeared obscure. I wrote an amatory commentary upon the fourth +book of the AEneid. I intend one day to publish it, and I +flatter myself it will be popular. + +"`Alas!' I used to exclaim, whilst employed on that work, it +was for a heart like mine the faithful Dido sighed, and sighed in +vain!' + + + +IV + +Now, by the strange enchantment that surrounds thee, +There's nothing--nothing thou shalt ask in vain. + +ESSEX. + + +"While in my confinement Tiberge came one day to see me. I was +surprised at the affectionate joy with which he saluted me. I +had never, hitherto, observed any peculiar warmth in his +friendship that could lead me to look upon it as anything more +than the partiality common among boys of the same age. He was so +altered, and had grown so manly during the five or six months +since I had last seen him, that his expressive features and his +manner of addressing me inspired me with a feeling of respect. +He spoke more in the character of a mentor than a schoolfellow, +lamented the delusion into which I had fallen, congratulated me +on my reformation, which he believed was now sincere, and ended +by exhorting me to profit by my youthful error, and open my eyes +to the vanity of worldly pleasures. I looked at him with some +astonishment, which he at once perceived. + +"`My dear chevalier,' said he to me, `you shall hear nothing +but the strict truth, of which I have assured myself by the most +serious examination. I had, perhaps, as strong an inclination +for pleasure as you, but Heaven had at the same time, in its +mercy, blessed me with a taste for virtue. I exercised my reason +in comparing the consequences of the one with those of the other, +and the divine aid was graciously vouchsafed to my reflections. +I conceived for the world a contempt which nothing can equal. +Can you guess what it is retains me in it now,' he added, `and +that prevents me from embracing a life of solitude? Simply the +sincere friendship I bear towards you. I know the excellent +qualities of both your heart and head. There is no good of which +you may not render yourself capable. The blandishments of +pleasure have momentarily drawn you aside. What detriment to the +sacred cause of virtue! Your flight from Amiens gave me such +intense sorrow, that I have not since known a moment's happiness. +You may judge of this by the steps it induced me to take.' He +then told me how, after discovering that I had deceived him, and +gone off with my mistress, he procured horses for the purpose of +pursuing me, but having the start of him by four or five hours, +he found it impossible to overtake me; that he arrived, however, +at St. Denis half an hour after I had left it; that, being very +sure that I must have stopped in Paris, he spent six weeks there +in a fruitless endeavour to discover me--visiting every place +where he thought he should be likely to meet me, and that one +evening he at length recognised my mistress at the play, where +she was so gorgeously dressed, that he of course set it down to +the account of some new lover; that he had followed her equipage +to her house, and had there learned from a servant that she was +entertained in this style by M. de B----. `I did not stop here,' +continued he; `I returned next day to the house, to learn from +her own lips what had become of you. She turned abruptly away +when she heard the mention of your name, and I was obliged to +return into the country without further information. I there +learned the particulars of your adventure, and the extreme +annoyance she had caused you; but I was unwilling to visit you +until I could have assurance of your being in a more tranquil +state.' + +"`You have seen Manon then!' cried I, sighing. `Alas! you are +happier than I, who am doomed never again to behold her.' He +rebuked me for this sigh, which still showed my weakness for the +perfidious girl. He flattered me so adroitly upon the goodness +of my mind and disposition, that he really inspired me, even on +this first visit, with a strong inclination to renounce, as he +had done, the pleasures of the world, and enter at once into holy +orders. + +"The idea was so suited to my present frame of mind, that when +alone I thought of nothing else. I remembered the words of the +Bishop of Amiens, who had given me the same advice, and thought +only of the happiness which he predicted would result from my +adoption of such a course. Piety itself took part in these +suggestions. `I shall lead a holy and a Christian life,' said I; +`I shall divide my time between study and religion, which will +allow me no leisure for the perilous pleasures of love. I shall +despise that which men ordinarily admire; and as I am conscious +that my heart will desire nothing but what it can esteem, my +cares will not be greater or more numerous than my wants and +wishes.' + +"I thereupon pictured to myself in anticipation a course of life +peaceful and retired. I fancied a retreat embosomed in a wood, +with a limpid stream of running water bounding my garden; a +library, comprising the most select works; a limited circle of +friends, virtuous and intellectual; a table neatly served, but +frugal and temperate. To all these agremens I added a literary +correspondence with a friend whose residence should be in Paris, +who should give me occasional information upon public affairs, +less for the gratification of my curiosity, than to afford a kind +of relaxation by hearing of and lamenting the busy follies of +men. `Shall not I be happy?' added I; `will not my utmost wishes +be thus gratified?' This project flattered my inclinations +extremely. But after all the details of this most admirable and +prudent plan, I felt that my heart still yearned for something; +and that in order to leave nothing to desire in this most +enchanting retirement, one ought to be able to share it with +Manon. + +"However, Tiberge continuing to pay me frequent visits in order +to strengthen me in the purpose with which he had inspired me, I +took an opportunity of opening the subject to my father. He +declared that his intention ever was to leave his children free +to choose a profession, and that in whatever manner I should +dispose of myself, all he wished to reserve was the right of +aiding me with his counsel. On this occasion he gave me some of +the wisest, which tended less to divert me from my project, than +to convince me of my good father's sound judgment and discretion. + +"The recommencement of the scholastic year being at hand, Tiberge +and I agreed to enter ourselves together at St. Sulpice, he to +pursue his theological studies, and I to begin mine. His merits, +which were not unknown to the bishop of the diocese, procured him +the promise of a living from that prelate before our departure. + +"My father, thinking me quite cured of my passion, made no +objection to my taking final leave. We arrived at Paris. The +Cross of Malta gave place to the ecclesiastical habit, and the +designation of the Abbe de Grieux was substituted for that of +chevalier. I applied so diligently to study, that in a few +months I had made extraordinary progress. I never lost a moment +of the day, and employed even part of the night. I soon acquired +such a reputation, that I was already congratulated upon the +honours which I was sure of obtaining; and, without solicitation +on my part, my name was inscribed on the list for a vacant +benefice. Piety was by no means neglected, and I entered with +ardent devotion into all the exercises of religion. Tiberge was +proud of what he considered the work of his own hands, and many a +time have I seen him shed tears of delight in noticing what he +styled my perfect conversion. + +"It has never been matter of wonder to me that human resolutions +are liable to change; one passion gives them birth, another may +destroy them; but when I reflect upon the sacredness of those +motives that led me to St. Sulpice, and upon the heartfelt +satisfaction I enjoyed while obeying their dictation, I shudder +at the facility with which I outraged them all. If it be true +that the benign succour afforded by Heaven is at all times equal +to the strongest of man's pinions, I shall be glad to learn the +nature of the deplorable ascendancy which causes us suddenly to +swerve from the path of duty, without the power of offering the +least resistance, and without even the slightest visitation of +remorse. + +"I now thought myself entirely safe from the dangers of love. I +fancied that I could have preferred a single page of St. +Augustine, or a quarter of an hour of Christian meditation, to +every sensual gratification, not excepting any that I might have +derived even from Manon's society. Nevertheless, one unlucky +moment plunged me again headlong into the gulf; and my ruin was +the more irreparable, because, falling at once to the same depth +from whence I had been before rescued, each of the new disorders +into which I now lapsed carried me deeper and deeper still down +the profound abyss of vice. I had passed nearly a year at Paris +without hearing of Manon. It cost me no slight effort to abstain +from enquiry; but the unintermitting advice of Tiberge, and my +own reflections, secured this victory over my wishes. The last +months glided away so tranquilly, that I considered the memory of +this charming but treacherous creature about to be consigned to +eternal oblivion. + +"The time arrived when I was to undergo a public examination in +the class of theology: I invited several persons of +consideration to honour me with their presence on the occasion. +My name was mentioned in every quarter of Paris: it even reached +the ears of her who had betrayed me. She had some difficulty in +recognising it with the prefix of Abbe; but curiosity, or perhaps +remorse for having been faithless to me (I could never after +ascertain by which of these feelings she was actuated), made her +at once take an interest in a name so like mine; and she came +with several other women to the Sorbonne, where she was present +at my examination, and had doubtless little trouble in +recognising my person. + +"I had not the remotest suspicion of her presence. It is well +known that in these places there are private seats for ladies, +where they remain screened by a curtain. I returned to St. +Sulpice covered with honours and congratulations. It was six in +the evening. The moment I returned, a lady was announced, who +desired to speak with me. I went to meet her. Heavens! what a +surprise! + +"It was Manon. It was she indeed, but more bewitching and +brilliant than I had ever beheld her. She was now in her +eighteenth year. Her beauty beggars all description. The +exquisite grace of her form, the mild sweetness of expression +that animated her features, and her engaging air, made her seem +the very personification of love. The vision was something too +perfect for human beauty. + +"I stood like one enchanted at beholding her. Unable to divine +the object of her visit, I waited trembling and with downcast +looks until she explained herself. At first, her embarrassment +was equal to mine; but, seeing that I was not disposed to break +silence, she raised her hand to her eyes to conceal a starting +tear, and then, in a timid tone, said that she well knew she had +justly earned my abhorrence by her infidelity; but that if I had +ever really felt any love for her, there was not much kindness in +allowing two long years to pass without enquiring after her, and +as little now in seeing her in the state of mental distress in +which she was, without condescending to bestow upon her a single +word. I shall not attempt to describe what my feelings were as I +listened to this reproof. + +"She seated herself. I remained standing, with my face half +turned aside, for I could not muster courage to meet her look. I +several times commenced a reply without power to conclude it. At +length I made an effort, and in a tone of poignant grief +exclaimed: `Perfidious Manon! perfidious, perfidious creature!' +She had no wish, she repeated with a flood of tears, to attempt +to justify her infidelity. `What is your wish, then?' cried I. +`I wish to die,' she answered, `if you will not give me back that +heart, without which it is impossible to endure life.' `Take my +life too, then, faithless girl!' I exclaimed, in vain +endeavouring to restrain my tears; `take my life also! it is the +sole sacrifice that remains for me to make, for my heart has +never ceased to be thine.' + +"I had hardly uttered these words, when she rose in a transport +of joy, and approached to embrace me. She loaded me with a +thousand caresses. She addressed me by all the endearing +appellations with which love supplies his votaries, to enable +them to express the most passionate fondness. I still answered +with affected coldness; but the sudden transition from a state of +quietude, such as that I had up to this moment enjoyed, to the +agitation and tumult which were now kindled in my breast and +tingled through my veins, thrilled me with a kind of horror, and +impressed me with a vague sense that I was about to undergo some +great transformation, and to enter upon a new existence. + +"We sat down close by each other. I took her hand within mine, +`Ah! Manon,' said I, with a look of sorrow, `I little thought +that love like mine could have been repaid with treachery! It +was a poor triumph to betray a heart of which you were the +absolute mistress--whose sole happiness it was to gratify and +obey you. Tell me if among others you have found any so +affectionate and so devoted? No, no! I believe nature has cast +few hearts in the same mould as mine. Tell me at least whether +you have ever thought of me with regret! Can I have any reliance +on the duration of the feeling that has brought you back to me +today? I perceive too plainly that you are infinitely lovelier +than ever: but I conjure you by all my past sufferings, dearest +Manon, to tell me--can you in future be more faithful?' + +"She gave me in reply such tender assurances of her repentance, +and pledged her fidelity with such solemn protestations and vows, +that I was inexpressibly affected. `Beauteous Manon,' said I, +with rather a profane mixture of amorous and theological +expressions, `you are too adorable for a created being. I feel +my heart transported with triumphant rapture. It is folly to +talk of liberty at St. Sulpice. Fortune and reputation are but +slight sacrifices at such a shrine! I plainly foresee it: I can +read my destiny in your bright eyes; but what abundant recompense +shall I not find in your affections for any loss I may sustain! +The favours of fortune have no influence over me: fame itself +appears to me but a mockery; all my projects of a holy life were +wild absurdities: in fact, any joys but those I may hope for at +your side are fit objects of contempt. There are none that would +not vanish into worthlessness before one single glance of thine!' + +"In promising her, however, a full remission of her past +frailties, I enquired how she permitted herself to be led astray +by B----. She informed me that having seen her at her window, he +became passionately in love with her; that he made his advances +in the true style of a mercantile cit;--that is to say, by giving +her to understand in his letter, that his payments would be +proportioned to her favours; that she had admitted his overtures +at first with no other intention than that of getting from him +such a sum as might enable us to live without inconvenience; but +that he had so bewildered her with splendid promises, that she +allowed herself to be misled by degrees. She added, that I ought +to have formed some notion of the remorse she experienced, by her +grief on the night of our separation; and assured me that, in +spite of the splendour in which he maintained her, she had never +known a moment's happiness with him, not only, she said, because +he was utterly devoid of that delicacy of sentiment and of those +agreeable manners which I possessed, but because even in the +midst of the amusements which he unceasingly procured her, she +could never shake off the recollection of my love, or her own +ingratitude. She then spoke of Tiberge, and the extreme +embarrassment his visit caused her. `A dagger's point,' she +added, `could not have struck more terror to my heart. I turned +from him, unable to sustain the interview for a moment.' + +"She continued to inform me how she had been apprised of my +residence at Paris, of the change in my condition, and of her +witnessing my examination at the Sorbonne. She told me how +agitated she had been during my intellectual conflict with the +examiner; what difficulty she felt in restraining her tears as +well as her sighs, which were more than once on the point of +spurning all control, and bursting forth; that she was the last +person to leave the hall of examination, for fear of betraying +her distress, and that, following only the instinct of her own +heart, and her ardent desires, she came direct to the seminary, +with the firm resolution of surrendering life itself, if she +found me cruel enough to withhold my forgiveness. + +"Could any savage remain unmoved by such proofs of cordial +repentance as those I had just witnessed? For my part, I felt at +the moment that I could gladly have given up all the bishoprics +in Christendom for Manon. I asked what course she would +recommend in our present emergency. `It is requisite,' she +replied, `at all events, to quit the seminary, and settle in some +safer place.' I consented to everything she proposed. She got +into her carriage to go and wait for me at the corner of the +street. I escaped the next moment, without attracting the +porter's notice. I entered the carriage, and we drove off to a +Jew's. I there resumed my lay-dress and sword. Manon furnished +the supplies, for I was without a sou, and fearing that I might +meet with some new impediment, she would not consent to my +returning to my room at St. Sulpice for my purse. My finances +were in truth wretchedly low, and hers more than sufficiently +enriched by the liberality of M. de B---- to make her think +lightly of my loss. We consulted together at the Jew's as to the +course we should now adopt. + +"In order to enhance the sacrifice she had made for me of her +late lover, she determined to treat him without the least +ceremony. `I shall leave him all his furniture,' she said; `it +belongs to him: but I shall assuredly carry off, as I have a +right to do, the jewels, and about sixty thousand francs, which I +have had from him in the last two years. I have given him no +control over me,' she added, `so that we may remain without +apprehension in Paris, taking a convenient house, where we shall +live, oh how happily together!' + +"I represented to her that, although there might be no danger +for her, there was a great deal for me, who must be sooner or +later infallibly recognised, and continually exposed to a +repetition of the trials I had before endured. She gave me to +understand that she could not quit Paris without regret. I had +such a dread of giving her annoyance, that there were no risks I +would not have encountered for her sake. However, we compromised +matters by resolving to take a house in some village near Paris, +from whence it would be easy for us to come into town whenever +pleasure or business required it. We fixed on Chaillot, which is +at a convenient distance. Manon at once returned to her house, +and I went to wait for her at a side-gate of the garden of the +Tuileries. + +"She returned an hour after, in a hired carriage, with a +servant-maid, and several trunks, which contained her dresses, +and everything she had of value. + +"We were not long on our way to Chaillot. We lodged the first +night at the inn, in order to have time to find a suitable house, +or at least a commodious lodging. We found one to our taste the +next morning. + +"My happiness now appeared to be secured beyond the reach of +fate. Manon was everything most sweet and amiable. She was so +delicate and so unceasing in her attentions to me, that I deemed +myself but too bountifully rewarded for all my past troubles. As +we had both, by this time, acquired some experience, we discussed +rationally the state of our finances. Sixty thousand francs (the +amount of our wealth) was not a sum that could be expected to +last our whole life; besides, we were neither of us much disposed +to control our expenses. Manon's chief virtue assuredly was not +economy, any more than it was mine. This was my proposition. +`Sixty thousand francs,' said I, `may support us for ten years. +Two thousand crowns a year will suffice, if we continue to live +at Chaillot. We shall keep up appearances, but live frugally. +Our only expense will be occasionally a carriage, and the +theatres. We shall do everything in moderation. You like the +opera; we shall go twice a week, in the season. As for play, we +shall limit ourselves; so that our losses must never exceed three +crowns. It is impossible but that in the space of ten years some +change must occur in my family: my father is even now of an +advanced age; he may die; in which event I must inherit a +fortune, and we shall then be above all other fears.' + +"This arrangement would not have been by any means the most +silly act of my life, if we had only been prudent enough to +persevere in its execution; but our resolutions hardly lasted +longer than a month. Manon's passion was for amusement; she was +the only object of mine. New temptations to expense constantly +presented themselves, and far from regretting the money which she +sometimes prodigally lavished, I was the first to procure for her +everything likely to afford her pleasure. Our residence at +Chaillot began even to appear tiresome. + +"Winter was approaching, and the whole world returning to town; +the country had a deserted look. She proposed to me to take a +house in Paris. I did not approve of this; but, in order partly +at least to satisfy her, I said that we might hire furnished +apartments, and that we might sleep there whenever we were late +in quitting the assembly, whither we often went; for the +inconvenience of returning so late to Chaillot was her excuse for +wishing to leave it. We had thus two dwellings, one in town and +the other in the country. This change soon threw our affairs +into confusion, and led to two adventures, which eventually +caused our ruin. + +"Manon had a brother in the Guards. He unfortunately lived in +the very street in which we had taken lodgings. He one day +recognised his sister at the window, and hastened over to us. He +was a fellow of the rudest manners, and without the slightest +principle of honour. He entered the room swearing in the most +horrible way; and as he knew part of his sister's history, he +loaded her with abuse and reproaches. + +"I had gone out the moment before, which was doubtless fortunate +for either him or me, for I was little disposed to brook an +insult. I only returned to the lodgings after he had left them. +The low spirits in which I found Manon convinced me at once that +something extraordinary had occurred. She told me of the +provoking scene she had just gone through, and of the brutal +threats of her brother. I felt such indignation, that I wished +to proceed at once to avenge her, when she entreated me with +tears to desist. + +"While we were still talking of the adventure, the guardsman +again entered the room in which we sat, without even waiting to +be announced. Had I known him, he should not have met from me as +civil a reception as he did; but saluting us with a smile upon +his countenance, he addressed himself to Manon, and said, he was +come to make excuses for his violence; that he had supposed her +to be living a life of shame and disgrace, and it was this notion +that excited his rage; but having since made enquiry from one of +our servants, he had learned such a character of me, that his +only wish was now to be on terms with us both. + +"Although this admission, of having gone for information to one +of my own servants, had in it something ludicrous as well as +indelicate, I acknowledged his compliments with civility, I +thought by doing so to please Manon, and I was not deceived--she +was delighted at the reconciliation. We made him stay to dine +with us. + +"In a little time he became so familiar, that hearing us speak +of our return to Chaillot, he insisted on accompanying us. We +were obliged to give him a seat in our carriage. This was in +fact putting him into possession, for he soon began to feel so +much pleasure in our company, that he made our house his home, +and made himself in some measure master of all that belonged to +us. He called me his brother, and, under the semblance of +fraternal freedom, he put himself on such a footing as to +introduce all his friends without ceremony into our house at +Chaillot, and there entertain them at our expense. His +magnificent uniforms were procured of my tailor and charged to +me, and he even contrived to make Manon and me responsible for +all his debts. I pretended to be blind to this system of +tyranny, rather than annoy Manon, and even to take no notice of +the sums of money which from time to time he received from her. +No doubt, as he played very deep, he was honest enough to repay +her a part sometimes, when luck turned in his favour; but our +finances were utterly inadequate to supply, for any length of +time, demands of such magnitude and frequency. + +"I was on the point of coming to an understanding with him, in +order to put an end to the system, when an unfortunate accident +saved me that trouble, by involving us in inextricable ruin. + +"One night we stopped in Paris to sleep, as it had now indeed +become our constant habit. The servant-maid who on such +occasions remained alone at Chaillot, came early the next morning +to inform me that our house had taken fire in the night, and that +the flames had been extinguished with great difficulty. I asked +whether the furniture had suffered. She answered, that there had +been such confusion, owing to the multitude of strangers who came +to offer assistance, that she could hardly ascertain what damage +had been done. I was principally uneasy about our money, which +had been locked up in a little box. I went off in haste to +Chaillot. Vain hope! the box had disappeared! + +"I discovered that one could love money without being a miser. +This loss afflicted me to such a degree that I was almost out of +my mind. I saw at one glance to what new calamities I should be +exposed: poverty was the least of them. I knew Manon thoroughly; +I had already had abundant proof that, although faithful and +attached to me under happier circumstances, she could not be +depended upon in want: pleasure and plenty she loved too well to +sacrifice them for my sake. `I shall lose her!' I cried; +`miserable chevalier! you are about then to lose all that you +love on earth!' This thought agitated me to such a degree that I +actually for some moments considered whether it would not be best +for me to end at once all my miseries by death. I however +preserved presence of mind enough to reflect whether I was +entirely without resource, and an idea occurred to me which +quieted my despair. It would not be impossible, I thought, to +conceal our loss from Manon; and I might perhaps discover some +ways and means of supplying her, so as to ward off the +inconveniences of poverty. + +"I had calculated in endeavouring to comfort myself, that twenty +thousand crowns would support us for ten years. Suppose that +these ten years had now elapsed, and that none of the events +which I had looked for in my family had occurred. What then +would have been my course? I hardly know; but whatever I should +then have done, why may I not do now? How many are there in +Paris, who have neither my talents, nor the natural advantages I +possess, and who, notwithstanding, owe their support to the +exercise of their talents, such as they are? + +"`Has not Providence,' I added, while reflecting on the +different conditions of life, `arranged things wisely?' The +greater number of the powerful and the rich are fools. No one +who knows anything of the world can doubt that. How admirable is +the compensating justice thereof! If wealth brought with it +talent also, the rich would be too happy, and other men too +wretched. To these latter are given personal advantages and +genius, to help them out of misery and want. Some of them share +the riches of the wealthy by administering to their pleasures, or +by making them their dupes; others afford them instruction, and +endeavour to make them decent members of society; to be sure, +they do not always succeed; but that was probably not the +intention of the divine wisdom. In every case they derive a +benefit from their labours by living at the expense of their +pupils; and, in whatever point of view it is considered, the +follies of the rich are a bountiful source of revenue to the +humbler classes. + +"These thoughts restored me a little to my spirits and to my +reason. I determined first to consult M. Lescaut, the brother of +Manon. He knew Paris perfectly; and I had too many opportunities +of learning that it was neither from his own estates, nor from +the king's pay, that he derived the principal portion of his +income. I had about thirty-three crowns left, which I +fortunately happened to have about me. I showed him my purse, +and explained to him my misfortune and my fears, and then asked +him whether I had any alternative between starvation and blowing +out my brains in despair. He coolly replied that suicide was the +resource of fools. As to dying of want, there were hundreds of +men of genius who found themselves reduced to that state when +they would not employ their talents; that it was for myself to +discover what I was capable of doing, and he told me to reckon +upon his assistance and his advice in any enterprise I might +undertake. + +"`Vague enough, M. Lescaut!' said I to him: `my wants demand a +more speedy remedy; for what am I to say to Manon?' `Apropos of +Manon,' replied he, `what is it that annoys you about her? +Cannot you always find in her wherewithal to meet your wants, +when you wish it? Such a person ought to support us all, you and +me as well as herself.' He cut short the answer which I was +about to give to such unfeeling and brutal impertinence, by going +on to say, that before night he would ensure me a thousand crowns +to divide between us, if I would only follow his advice; that he +was acquainted with a nobleman, who was so liberal in affairs of +the kind, that he was certain he would not hesitate for a moment +to give the sum named for the favours of such a girl as Manon. + +"I stopped him. `I had a better opinion of you,' said I; `I had +imagined that your motive for bestowing your friendship upon me +was very different indeed from the one you now betray.' With the +greatest effrontery he acknowledged that he had been always of +the same mind, and that his sister having once sacrificed her +virtue, though it might be to the man she most loved, he would +never have consented to a reconciliation with her, but with the +hope of deriving some advantage from her past misconduct. + +"It was easy to see that we had been hitherto his dupes. +Notwithstanding the disgust with which his proposition inspired +me, still, as I felt that I had occasion for his services, I +said, with apparent complacency, that we ought only to entertain +such a plan as a last resource. I begged of him to suggest some +other. + +"He proposed to me to turn my youth and the good looks nature +had bestowed upon me to some account, by establishing a liaison +with some generous old dame. This was just as little to my +taste, for it would necessarily have rendered me unfaithful to +Manon. + +"I mentioned play as the easiest scheme, and the most suitable +to my present situation. He admitted that play certainly was a +resource, but that it was necessary to consider the point well. +`Mere play,' said he, `with its ordinary chances, is the certain +road to ruin; and as for attempting, alone and without an ally, +to employ the little means an adroit man has for correcting the +vagaries of luck, it would be too dangerous an experiment.' +There was, he stated, a third course, which was to enter into +what he called a partnership; but he feared his confederates +would consider my youth an objection to my admittance. He, +however, promised to use his influence with them; and, what was +more than I expected at his hands, he said that he would supply +me with a little money whenever I had pressing occasion for any. +The only favour I then asked of him was to say nothing to Manon +of the loss I had experienced, nor of the subject of our +conversation. + +"I certainly derived little comfort from my visit to Lescaut; I +felt even sorry for having confided my secret to him: not a +single thing had he done for me that I might not just as well +have done for myself, without troubling him; and I could not help +dreading that he would violate his promise to keep the secret +from Manon. I had also reason to apprehend, from his late +avowals, that he might form the design of making use of her for +his own vile purposes, or at least of advising her to quit me for +some happier and more wealthy lover. This idea brought in its +train a thousand reflections, which had no other effect than to +torment me, and throw me again into the state of despair in which +I had passed the morning. It occurred to me, more than once, to +write to my father; and to pretend a new reformation, in order to +obtain some pecuniary assistance from him; but I could not forget +that, notwithstanding all his natural love and affection for me, +he had shut me up for six months in a confined room for my first +transgression; and I was certain that, after the scandalous +sensation caused by my flight from St. Sulpice, he would be sure +to treat me with infinitely more rigour now. + +"At length, out of this chaos of fancies came an idea that all +at once restored ease to my mind, and which I was surprised at +not having hit upon sooner; this was, to go again to my friend +Tiberge, in whom I might be always sure of finding the same +unfailing zeal and friendship. There is nothing more +glorious--nothing that does more honour to true virtue, than the +confidence with which one approaches a friend of tried integrity; +no apprehension, no risk of unkind repulse: if it be not always +in his power to afford the required succour, one is sure at least +of meeting kindness and compassion. The heart of the poor +supplicant, which remains impenetrably closed to the rest of the +world, opens in his presence, as a flower expands before the orb +of day, from which it instinctively knows it can derive a +cheering and benign influence only. + +"I consider it a blessing to have thought so apropos of Tiberge, +and resolved to take measures to find him before evening. I +returned at once to my lodgings to write him a line, and fix a +convenient place for our meeting. I requested secrecy and +discretion, as the most important service he could render me +under present circumstances. + +"The pleasure I derived from the prospect of seeing Tiberge +dissipated every trace of melancholy, which Manon would not have +failed otherwise to detect in my countenance. I described our +misfortune at Chaillot as a trifle which ought not to annoy her; +and Paris being the spot she liked best in the world, she was not +sorry to hear me say that it would be necessary for us to remain +there entirely, until the little damage was repaired which had +been caused by the fire at Chaillot. + +"In an hour I received an answer from Tiberge, who promised to +be at the appointed rendezvous. I went there punctually. I +certainly felt some shame at encountering a friend whose presence +alone ought to be a reproach to my iniquities; but I was +supported by the opinion I had of the goodness of his heart, as +well as by my anxiety about Manon. + +"I had begged of him to meet me in the garden of the Palais +Royal. He was there before me. He hastened towards me, the +moment he saw me approach and shook me warmly by both hands. I +said that I could not help feeling perfectly ashamed to meet him, +and that I was weighed down by a sense of my ingratitude; that +the first thing I implored of him was to tell me whether I might +still consider him my friend, after having so justly incurred the +loss of his esteem and affection. He replied, in the kindest +possible manner, that it was not in the nature of things to +destroy his regard for me; that my misfortunes even, or, if he +might so call them, my faults and transgressions, had but +increased the interest he felt for me; but that he must confess +his affection was not unalloyed by a sentiment of the liveliest +sorrow, such as a person may be supposed to feel at seeing a +beloved object on the brink of ruin, and beyond the reach of his +assistance. + +"We sat down upon a bench. `Alas!' said I with a deep sigh, +`your compassion must be indeed great, my dear Tiberge, if you +assure me it is equal to my sufferings. I am almost ashamed to +recount them, for I confess they have been brought on by no very +creditable course of conduct: the results, however, are so truly +melancholy, that a friend even less attached than you would be +affected by the recital.' + +"He then begged of me, in proof of friendship, to let him know, +without any disguise, all that had occurred to me since my +departure from St. Sulpice. I gratified him; and so far from +concealing anything, or attempting to extenuate my faults, I +spoke of my passion with all the ardour with which it still +inspired me. I represented it to him as one of those especial +visitations of fate, which draw on the devoted victim to his +ruin, and which it is as impossible for virtue itself to resist, +as for human wisdom to foresee. I painted to him in the most +vivid colours, my excitement, my fears, the state of despair in +which I had been two hours before I saw him, and into which I +should be again plunged, if I found my friends as relentless as +fate had been. I at length made such an impression upon poor +Tiberge, that I saw he was as much affected by compassion, as I +by the recollection of my sufferings. + +"He took my hand, and exhorted me to have courage and be +comforted; but, as he seemed to consider it settled that Manon +and I were to separate, I gave him at once to understand that it +was that very separation I considered as the most intolerable of +all my misfortunes; and that I was ready to endure not only the +last degree of misery, but death itself, of the cruellest kind, +rather than seek relief in a remedy worse than the whole +accumulation of my woes. + +"`Explain yourself, then,' said he to me; `what assistance can +I afford you, if you reject everything I propose?' I had not +courage to tell him that it was from his purse I wanted relief. +He, however, comprehended it in the end; and acknowledging that +he believed he now understood me, he remained for a moment in an +attitude of thought, with the air of a person revolving something +in his mind. `Do not imagine,' he presently said, `that my +hesitation arises from any diminution of my zeal and friendship; +but to what an alternative do you now reduce me, since I must +either refuse you the assistance you ask, or violate my most +sacred duty in affording it! For is it not participating in your +sin to furnish you with the means of continuing its indulgence?' + +"`However,' continued he, after a moment's thought, `it is +perhaps the excited state into which want has thrown you, that +denies you now the liberty of choosing the proper path. Man's +mind must be at rest, to know the luxury of wisdom and virtue. I +can afford to let you have some money; and permit me, my dear +chevalier, to impose but one condition; that is, that you let me +know the place of your abode, and allow me the opportunity of +using my exertions to reclaim you. I know that there is in your +heart a love of virtue, and that you have been only led astray by +the violence of your passions.' + +"I, of course, agreed to everything he asked, and only begged of +him to deplore the malign destiny which rendered me callous to +the counsels of so virtuous a friend. He then took me to a +banker of his acquaintance, who gave one hundred and seventy +crowns for his note of hand, which was taken as cash. I have +already said that he was not rich. His living was worth about +six thousand francs a year, but as this was the first year since +his induction, he had as yet touched none of the receipts, and it +was out of the future income that he made me this advance. + +"I felt the full force of his generosity, even to such a degree +as almost to deplore the fatal passion which thus led me to break +through all the restraints of duty. Virtue had for a moment the +ascendancy in my heart, and made me sensible of my shame and +degradation. But this was soon over. For Manon I could have +given up my hopes of heaven, and when I again found myself at her +side, I wondered how I could for an instant have considered +myself degraded by my passion for this enchanting girl. + +"Manon was a creature of most extraordinary disposition. Never +had mortal a greater contempt for money, and yet she was haunted +by perpetual dread of wanting it. Her only desire was for +pleasure and amusement. She would never have wished to possess a +sou, if pleasure could be procured without money. She never even +cared what our purse contained, provided she could pass the day +agreeably; so that, being neither fond of play nor at all dazzled +by the desire of great wealth, nothing was more easy than to +satisfy her, by daily finding out amusements suited to her +moderate wishes. But it became by habit a thing so absolutely +necessary for her to have her mind thus occupied, that, without +it, it was impossible to exercise the smallest influence over her +temper or inclinations. Although she loved me tenderly, and I +was the only person, as she often declared, in whose society she +could ever find the pure enjoyments of love, yet I felt +thoroughly convinced that her attachment could not withstand +certain apprehensions. She would have preferred me, even with a +moderate fortune, to the whole world; but I had no kind of doubt +that she would, on the other hand, abandon me for some new M. de +B----, when I had nothing more to offer her than fidelity and +love. + +"I resolved therefore so to curtail my own individual expenses, +as to be able always to meet hers, and rather to deprive myself +of a thousand necessaries than even to limit her extravagance. +The carriage made me more uneasy than anything else, for I saw no +chance of being able to maintain either coachman or horses. + +"I told M. Lescaut of my difficulties, and did not conceal from +him that I had received a thousand francs from a friend. He +repeated, that if I wished to try the chances of the +gaming-table, he was not without hopes that, by spending a few +crowns in entertaining his associates, I might be, on his +recommendation, admitted into the association. With all my +repugnance to cheating, I yielded to dire necessity. + +"Lescaut presented me that night as a relation of his own. He +added, that I was the more likely to succeed in my new +profession, from wanting the favours of fortune. However, to +show them that I was not quite reduced to the lowest ebb, he said +it was my intention to treat them with a supper. The offer was +accepted, and I entertained them en prince. They talked a good +deal about my fashionable appearance and the apparent amiability +of my disposition; they said that the best hopes might be +entertained of me, because there was something in my countenance +that bespoke the gentleman, and no one therefore could have a +suspicion of my honesty: they voted thanks to Lescaut for having +introduced so promising a novice, and deputed one of the members +to instruct me for some days in the necessary manoeuvres. + +"The principal scene of my exploits was the hotel of +Transylvania, where there was a faro table in one room, and other +games of cards and dice in the gallery. This academy was kept by +the Prince of R----, who then lived at Clagny, and most of his +officers belonged to our society. Shall I mention it to my +shame? I profited quickly by my instructor's tuition. I +acquired an amazing facility in sleight of hand tricks, and +learned in perfection to sauter le coup; with the help of a pair +of long ruffles, I shuffled so adroitly as to defy the quickest +observer, and I ruined several fair players. My unrivalled skill +so quickened the progress of my fortunes, that I found myself +master, in a few weeks, of very considerable sums, besides what I +divided in good faith with my companions. + +"I had no longer any fear of communicating to Manon the extent +of our loss at Chaillot, and, to console her on the announcement +of such disastrous news, I took a furnished house, where we +established ourselves in all the pride of opulence and security. + +"Tiberge was in the habit, at this period, of paying me frequent +visits. He was never tired of his moral lectures. Over and over +again did he represent to me the injury I was inflicting upon my +conscience, my honour, and my fortune. I received all his advice +kindly, and although I had not the smallest inclination to adopt +it, I had no doubt of its sincerity, for I knew its source. +Sometimes I rallied him good-humouredly, and entreated him not to +be more tight-laced than some other priests were, and even +bishops, who by no means considered a mistress incompatible with +a good and holy life.' `Look,' I said, `at Manon's eyes, and tell +me if there is one in the long catalogue of sins that might not +there find a plea of justification.' He bore these sallies +patiently, and carried his forbearance almost too far: but when +he saw my funds increase, and that I had not only returned him +the hundred and seventy crowns, but having hired a new house and +trebled my expenses, I had plunged deeper than ever into a life +of pleasure, he changed his tone and manner towards me. He +lamented my obduracy. He warned me against the chastisement of +the Divine wrath, and predicted some of the miseries with which +indeed I was shortly afterwards visited. `It is impossible,' he +said, `that the money which now serves to support your +debaucheries can have been acquired honourably. You have come by +it unjustly, and in the same way shall it be taken from you. The +most awful punishment Heaven could inflict would be to allow you +the undisturbed enjoyment of it. All my advice,' he added, `has +been useless; I too plainly perceive that it will shortly become +troublesome to you. I now take my leave; you are a weak, as well +as an ungrateful friend! May your criminal enjoyments vanish as +a shadow! may your ill-gotten wealth leave you without a +resource; and may you yourself remain alone and deserted, to +learn the vanity of these things, which now divert you from +better pursuits! When that time arrives, you will find me +disposed to love and to serve you; this day ends our intercourse, +and I once for all avow my horror of the life you are leading.' + +"It was in my room and in Manon's presence that he delivered +this apostolical harangue. He rose to depart. I was about to +detain him; but was prevented by Manon, who said it was better to +let the madman go. + +"What he said, however, did not fail to make some impression +upon me. I notice these brief passages of my life when I +experienced a returning sentiment of virtue, because it was to +those traces, however light, that I was afterwards indebted for +whatever of fortitude I displayed under the most trying +circumstances. + +"Manon's caresses soon dissipated the annoyance this scene had +caused me. We continued to lead a life entirely devoted to +pleasure and love. The increase of our wealth only redoubled our +affection. There none happier among all the devotees of Venus +and Fortune. Heavens! why call this a world of misery, when it +can furnish a life of such rapturous enjoyment? But alas, it is +too soon over! For what ought man to sigh, could such felicity +but last for ever? Ours shared the common fate--in being of +short duration, and followed by lasting regrets. + +"I had realised by play such a considerable sum of money, that I +thought of investing a portion of it. My servants were not +ignorant of my good luck, particularly my valet and Manon's own +maid, before whom we often talked without any reserve. The maid +was handsome, and my valet in love with her. They knew they had +to deal with a young and inexperienced couple, whom they fancied +they could impose upon without much difficulty. They laid a +plan, and executed it with so much skill, that they reduced us to +a state from which it was never afterwards possible for us to +extricate ourselves. + +"Having supped one evening at Lescaut's, it was about midnight +when we returned home. I asked for my valet, and Manon for her +maid; neither one nor the other could be found. They had not +been seen in the house since eight o'clock, and had gone out, +after having some cases carried before them, according to orders +which they pretended to have received from me. I at once foresaw +a part of the truth, but my suspicions were infinitely surpassed +by what presented itself on going into my room. The lock of my +closet had been forced, and my cash as well as my best clothes +were gone. While I stood stupefied with amazement, Manon came, +in the greatest alarm, to inform me that her apartment had been +rifled in the same manner. + +"This blow was so perfectly astounding, so cruel, that it was +with difficulty I could refrain from tears. The dread of +infecting Manon with my despair made me assume a more contented +air. I said, smiling, that I should avenge myself upon some +unhappy dupe at the hotel of Transylvania. However, she appeared +so sensibly affected, that her grief increased my sorrow +infinitely more than my attempt succeeded in supporting her +spirits. `We are destroyed!' said she, with tears in her eyes. +I endeavoured, in vain, by my entreaties and caresses, to console +her. My own lamentations betrayed my distress and despair. In +fact, we were so completely ruined, that we were bereft almost of +decent covering. + +"I determined to send off at once for Lescaut. He advised me to +go immediately to the lieutenant of police, and to give +information also to the Grand Provost of Paris. I went, but it +was to add to my calamities only; for, independently of my visit +producing not the smallest good effect, I, by my absence, allowed +Lescaut time for discussion with his sister, during which he did +not fail to inspire her with the most horrible resolutions. He +spoke to her about M. G---- M----, an old voluptuary, who paid +prodigally for his pleasures; he so glowingly described the +advantages of such a connection, that she entered into all his +plans. This discreditable arrangement was all concluded before +my return, and the execution of it only postponed till the next +morning, after Lescaut should have apprised G---- M----. + +"I found him, on my return, waiting for me at my house; but +Manon had retired to her own apartment, and she had desired the +footman to tell me that, having need of repose, she hoped she +should not be disturbed that night. Lescaut left me, after +offering me a few crowns which I accepted. + +"It was nearly four o'clock when I retired to bed; and having +revolved in my mind various schemes for retrieving my fortunes, I +fell asleep so late that I did not awake till between eleven and +twelve o'clock. I rose at once to enquire after Manon's health; +they told me that she had gone out an hour before with her +brother, who had come for her in a hired carriage. Although +there appeared something mysterious in such a proceeding, I +endeavoured to check my rising suspicions. I allowed some hours +to pass, during which I amused myself with reading. At length, +being unable any longer to stifle my uneasiness, I paced up and +down the apartments. A sealed letter upon Manon's table at last +caught my eye. It was addressed to me, and in her handwriting. +I felt my blood freeze as I opened it; it was in these words: + + +I protest to you, dearest chevalier, that you are the idol of my +heart, and that you are the only being on earth whom I can truly +love; but do you not see, my own poor dear chevalier, that in the +situation to which we are now reduced, fidelity would be worse +than madness? Do you think tenderness possibly compatible with +starvation? For my part, hunger would be sure to drive me to +some fatal end. Heaving some day a sigh for love, I should find +it was my last. I adore you, rely upon that; but leave to me, +for a short while, the management of our fortunes. God help the +man who falls into my hands. My only wish is to render my +chevalier rich and happy. My brother will tell you about me; he +can vouch for my grief in yielding to the necessity of parting +from you. + +"I remained, after reading this, in a state which it would be +difficult to describe; for even now I know not the nature of the +feelings which then agitated me. It was one of those unique +situations of which others can never have experienced anything +even approaching to similarity. It is impossible to explain it, +because other persons can have no idea of its nature; and one can +hardly even analyse it to oneself. Memory furnishes nothing that +will connect it with the past, and therefore ordinary language is +inadequate to describe it. Whatever was its nature, however, it +is certain that grief, hate, jealousy, and shame entered into its +composition. Fortunate would it have proved for me if love also +had not been a component part! + +"`That she loves me,' I exclaimed, `I can believe; but could +she, without being a monster, hate me? What right can man ever +have to woman's affections which I had not to Manon's? What is +left to me, after all the sacrifices I have made for her sake? +Yet she abandons me, and the ungrateful creature thinks to screen +herself from my reproaches by professions of love! She pretends +to dread starvation! God of love, what grossness of sentiment! +What an answer to the refinement of my adoration! I had no dread +of that kind; I, who have almost sought starvation for her sake, +by renouncing fortune and the comforts of my father's house! I, +who denied myself actual necessaries, in order to gratify her +little whims and caprices! She adores me, she says. If you +adored me, ungrateful creature, I well know what course you would +have taken; you would never have quitted me, at least without +saying adieu. It is only I who can tell the pangs and torments, +of being separated from all one loves. I must have taken leave +of my senses, to have voluntarily brought all this misery upon +myself.' + +"My lamentations were interrupted by a visit I little expected; +it was from Lescaut. `Assassin!' cried I, putting my hand upon +my sword, `where is Manon? what have you done with her?' My +agitation startled him. He replied, that if this was the +reception he was to meet, when he came to offer me the most +essential service it was in his power to render me, he should +take his leave, and never again cross my threshold. I ran to the +door of the apartment, which I shut. `Do not imagine,' I said, +turning towards him, `that you can once more make a dupe of me +with your lies and inventions. Either defend your life, or tell +me where I can find Manon.' `How impatient you are!' replied he; +`that was in reality the object of my visit. I came to announce +a piece of good fortune which you little expected, and for which +you will probably feel somewhat grateful.' My curiosity was at +once excited. + +"He informed me that Manon, totally unable to endure the dread +of want, and, above all, the certainty of being at once obliged +to dispense with her equipage, had begged of him to make her +acquainted with M. G---- M----, who had a character for +liberality. He carefully avoided telling me that this was the +result of his own advice, and that he had prepared the way before +he introduced his sister. `I took her there this morning,' said +he, `and the fellow was so enchanted with her looks that he at +once invited her to accompany him to his country seat, where he +is gone to pass some days. As I plainly perceived,' said +Lescaut, `the advantage it may be to you, I took care to let him +know that she had lately experienced very considerable losses; +and I so piqued his generosity that he began by giving her four +hundred crowns. I told him that was well enough for a +commencement, but that my sister would have, for the future, many +demands for money; that she had the charge of a young brother, +who had been thrown upon her hands since the death of our +parents; and that, if he wished to prove himself worthy of her +affections, he would not allow her to suffer uneasiness upon +account of this child, whom she regarded as part of herself. +This speech produced its effect, he at once promised to take a +house for you and Manon, for you must know that you are the poor +little orphan. He undertook to set you up in furniture, and to +give you four hundred livres a month, which if I calculate +rightly, will amount to four thousand eight hundred per annum. +He left orders with his steward to look out for a house, and to +have it in readiness by the time he returned. You will soon, +therefore, again see Manon, who begged of me to give you a +thousand tender messages, and to assure you that she loves you +more dearly than ever.' + + + +V + + +Infected with that leprosy of lust, +Which taints the hoariest years of vicious men +Making them ransack to the very last +The dregs of pleasure for their vanished joys. + +BYRON. + + +"On sitting down to reflect upon this strange turn of fate, I +found myself so perplexed, and consequently so incapable of +arriving at any rational conclusion, that I allowed Lescaut to +put repeated questions to me without in the slightest degree +attending to their purport. It was then that honour and virtue +made me feel the most poignant remorse, and that I recalled with +bitterness Amiens, my father's house, St. Sulpice, and every spot +where I had ever lived in happy innocence. By what a terrific +interval was I now separated from that blessed state! I beheld +it no longer but as a dim shadow in the distance, still +attracting my regrets and desires, but without the power of +rousing me to exertion. `By what fatality,' said I, `have I +become thus degraded? Love is not a guilty passion! why then has +it been to me the source of profligacy and distress? Who +prevented me from leading a virtuous and tranquil life with +Manon? Why did I not marry her before I obtained any concession +from her love? Would not my father, who had the tenderest regard +for me, have given his consent, if I had taken the fair and +candid course of soliciting him? Yes, my father would himself +have cherished her as one far too good to be his son's wife! I +should have been happy in the love of Manon, in the affection of +my father, in the esteem of the world, with a moderate portion of +the good things of life, and above all with the consciousness of +virtue. Disastrous change! Into what an infamous character is +it here proposed that I should sink? To share---- But can I +hesitate, if Manon herself suggests it, and if I am to lose her +except upon such conditions? `Lescaut,' said I, putting my hands +to my eyes as if to shut out such a horrifying vision, `if your +intention was to render me a service, I give you thanks. You +might perhaps have struck out a more reputable course, but it is +so settled, is it not? Let us then only think of profiting by +your labour, and fulfilling your engagements.' + +"Lescaut, who had been considerably embarrassed, not only by my +fury, but by the long silence which followed it, was too happy to +see me now take a course so different from what he had +anticipated. He had not a particle of courage, of which indeed I +have, in the sequel of my story, abundant proof. `Yes, yes,' he +quickly answered, `it is good service I have rendered you, and +you will find that we shall derive infinitely more advantage from +it than you now expect.' We consulted then as to the best mode +of preventing the suspicions which G---- M---- might entertain of +our relationship, when he found me older and of riper manhood +than he probably imagined. The only plan we could hit upon was +to assume in his presence an innocent and provincial air, and to +persuade him that it was my intention to enter the Church, and +that with that view I was obliged to go every day to the college. +We also determined that I should appear as awkward as I possibly +could the first time I was admitted to the honour of an +introduction. + +"He returned to town three or four days after, and at once +conducted Manon to the house which his steward had in the +meantime prepared. She immediately apprised Lescaut of her +return, and he having informed me, we went together to her new +abode. The old lover had already gone out. + +"In spite of the submission with which I had resigned myself to +her wishes, I could not, at our meeting, repress the compunctious +visitings of my conscience. I appeared before her grieved and +dejected. The joy I felt at seeing her once more could not +altogether dispel my sorrow for her infidelity: she, on the +contrary, appeared transported with the pleasure of seeing me. +She accused me of coldness. I could not help muttering the words +perfidious and unfaithful, though they were profusely mixed with +sighs. + +"At first she laughed at me for my simplicity; but when she +found that I continued to look at her with an unchanging +expression of melancholy, and that I could not bring myself to +enter with alacrity into a scene so repugnant to all my feelings, +she went alone into her boudoir. I very soon followed her, and +then I found her in a flood of tears. I asked the cause of her +sorrow. `You can easily understand it,' said she; `how can you +wish me to live, if my presence can no longer have any other +effect than to give you an air of sadness and chagrin? Not one +kiss have you given me during the long hour you have been in the +house, while you have received my caresses with the dignified +indifference of a Grand Turk, receiving the forced homage of the +Sultanas of his harem.' + +"`Hearken to me, Manon,' said I, embracing her; `I cannot +conceal from you that my heart is bitterly afflicted. I do not +now allude to the uneasiness your sudden flight caused me, nor to +the unkindness of quitting me without a word of consolation, +after having passed the night away from me. The pleasure of +seeing you again would more than compensate for all; but do you +imagine that I can reflect without sighs and tears upon the +degrading and unhappy life which you now wish me to lead in this +house? Say nothing of my birth, or of my feelings of honour; +love like mine derives no aid from arguments of that feeble +nature; but do you imagine that I can without emotion see my love +so badly recompensed, or rather so cruelly treated, by an +ungrateful and unfeeling mistress?' + +"She interrupted me. `Stop, chevalier,' said she, `it is useless +to torture me with reproaches, which, coming from you, always +pierce my heart. I see what annoys you. I had hoped that you +would have agreed to the project which I had devised for mending +our shattered fortunes, and it was from a feeling of delicacy to +you that I began the execution of it without your assistance; but +I give it up since it does not meet your approbation.' She added +that she would now merely request a little patient forbearance +during the remainder of the day; that she had already received +five hundred crowns from the old gentleman, and that he had +promised to bring her that evening a magnificent pearl necklace +with other jewels, and, in advance, half of the yearly pension he +had engaged to allow her. `Leave me only time enough,' said she +to me, to get possession of these presents; I promise you that he +will have little to boast of from his connection with me, for in +the country I repulsed all his advances, putting him off till our +return to town. It is true that he has kissed my hand a thousand +times over, and it is but just that he should pay for even this +amusement: I am sure that, considering his riches as well as his +age, five or six thousand francs is not an unreasonable price!' + +"Her determination was of more value in my eyes than twenty +thousand crowns. I could feel that I was not yet bereft of every +sentiment of honour, by the satisfaction I experienced at +escaping thus from infamy, But I was born for brief joys, and +miseries of long duration. Fate never rescued me from one +precipice, but to lead me to another. When I had expressed my +delight to Manon at this change in her intentions, I told her she +had better inform Lescaut of it, in order that we might take our +measures in concert. At first he murmured, but the money in hand +induced him to enter into our views. It was then determined that +we should all meet at G---- M----'s supper table, and that, for +two reasons: first, for the amusement of passing me off as a +schoolboy, and brother to Manon; and secondly, to prevent the old +profligate from taking any liberties with his mistress, on the +strength of his liberal payments in advance. Lescaut and I were +to retire, when he went to the room where he expected to pass the +night; and Manon, instead of following him, promised to come out, +and join us. Lescaut undertook to have a coach waiting at the +door. + +"The supper hour having arrived, M. G---- M---- made his +appearance. Already Lescaut was with his sister in the supper +room. The moment the lover entered, he presented his fair one +with a complete set of pearls, necklaces, ear-rings, and +bracelets, which must have cost at least a thousand crowns. He +then placed on the table before her, in louis d'or, two thousand +four hundred francs, the half of her year's allowance. He +seasoned his present with many pretty speeches in the true style +of the old court. Manon could not refuse him a few kisses: it +was sealing her right to the money which he had just handed to +her. I was at the door, and waiting for Lescaut's signal to +enter the room. + +"He approached to take me by the hand, while Manon was securing +the money and jewels, and leading me towards M. G---- M----, he +desired me to make my bow. I made two or three most profound +ones. `Pray excuse him, sir,' said Lescaut, `he is a mere child. +He has not yet acquired much of the ton of Paris; but no doubt +with a little trouble we shall improve him. You will often have +the honour of seeing that gentleman, here,' said he, turning +towards me: `take advantage of it, and endeavour to imitate so +good a model.' + +"The old libertine appeared to be pleased with me. He patted me +on the cheek, saying that I was a fine boy, but that I should be +on my guard in Paris, where young men were easily debauched. +Lescaut assured him that I was naturally of so grave a character +that I thought of nothing but becoming a clergyman, and that, +even as a child, my favourite amusement was building little +chapels. `I fancy a likeness to Manon,' said the old gentleman, +putting his hand under my chin. I answered him, with the most +simple air-- `Sir, the fact is, that we are very closely +connected, and I love my sister as another portion of myself.' +`Do you hear that,' said he to Lescaut; `he is indeed a clever +boy! It is a pity he should not see something of the world.' +`Oh, sir,' I replied, `I have seen a great deal of it at home, +attending church, and I believe I might find in Paris some +greater fools than myself.' `Listen,' said he; `it is positively +wonderful in a boy from the country.' + +"The whole conversation during supper was of the same kind. +Manon, with her usual gaiety, was several times on the point of +spoiling the joke by her bursts of laughter. I contrived, while +eating, to recount his own identical history, and to paint even +the fate that awaited him. Lescaut and Manon were in an agony of +fear during my recital, especially while I was drawing his +portrait to the life: but his own vanity prevented him from +recognising it, and I did it so well that he was the first to +pronounce it extremely laughable. You will allow that I had +reason for dwelling on this ridiculous scene. + +"At length it was time to retire. He hinted at the impatience of +love. Lescaut and I took our departure. G---- M---- went to his +room, and Manon, making some excuse for her absence, came to join +us at the gate. The coach, that was waiting for us a few doors +off, drove up towards us, and we were out of the street in an +instant. + +"Although I must confess that this proceeding appeared to me +little short of actual robbery, it was not the most dishonest one +with which I thought I had to reproach myself. I had more +scruples about the money which I had won at play. However, we +derived as little advantage from one as from the other; and +Heaven sometimes ordains that the lightest fault shall meet the +severest punishment. + +"M. G---- M---- was not long in finding out that he had been +duped. I am not sure whether he took any steps that night to +discover us, but he had influence enough to ensure an effectual +pursuit, and we were sufficiently imprudent to rely upon the +extent of Paris and the distance between our residence and his. +Not only did he discover our abode and our circumstances, but +also who I was--the life that I had led in Paris--Manon's former +connection with B----,--the manner in which she had deceived him: +in a word, all the scandalous facts of our history. He therefore +resolved to have us apprehended, and treated less as criminals +than as vagabonds. An officer came abruptly one morning into our +bedroom, with half a dozen archers of the guard. They first took +possession of our money, or I should rather say, of G----M----'s. +They made us quickly get up, and conducted us to the door, +where we found two coaches, into one of which they forced +poor Manon, without any explanation, and I was taken in the +other to St. Lazare. + +"One must have experienced this kind of reverse, to understand the +despair that is caused by it. The police were savage enough to +deny me the consolation of embracing Manon, or of bidding her +farewell. I remained for a long time ignorant of her fate. It +was perhaps fortunate for me that I was kept in a state of +ignorance, for had I known what she suffered, I should have lost +my senses, probably my life. + +"My unhappy mistress was dragged then from my presence, and +taken to a place the very name of which fills me with horror to +remember. This to be the lot of a creature the most perfect, who +must have shared the most splendid throne on earth, if other men +had only seen and felt as I did! She was not treated harshly +there, but was shut up in a narrow prison, and obliged, in +solitary confinement, to perform a certain quantity of work each +day, as a necessary condition for obtaining the most unpalatable +food. I did not learn this till a long time after, when I had +myself endured some months of rough and cruel treatment. + +"My guards not having told me where it was that they had been +ordered to conduct me, it was only on my arrival at St. Lazare +that I learned my destination. I would have preferred death, at +that moment, to the state into which I believed myself about to +be thrown. I had the utmost terror of this place. My misery was +increased by the guards on my entrance, examining once more my +pockets, to ascertain whether I had about me any arms or weapons +of defence. + +"The governor appeared. He had been informed of my +apprehension. He saluted me with great mildness. `Do not, my +good sir,' said I to him, `allow me to be treated with indignity. +I would suffer a hundred deaths rather than quietly submit to +degrading treatment.' `No, no,' he replied, `you will act +quietly and prudently, and we shall be mutually content with each +other.' He begged of me to ascend to one of the highest rooms; I +followed him without a murmur. The archers accompanied us to the +door, and the governor, entering the room, made a sign for them +to depart. `I am your prisoner, I suppose?' said I; `well, what +do you intend to do with me?' He said, he was delighted to see +me adopt so reasonable a tone; that it would be his duty to +endeavour to inspire me with a taste for virtue and religion, and +mine to profit by his exhortations and advice: that lightly as I +might be disposed to rate his attentions to me, I should find +nothing but enjoyment in my solitude. `Ah, enjoyment, indeed!' +replied I; `you do not know, my good sir, the only thing on +earth that could afford me enjoyment.' `I know it,' said he, +`but I trust your inclinations will change.' His answer showed +that he had heard of my adventures, and perhaps of my name. I +begged to know if such were the fact. He told me candidly that +they had informed him of every particular. + +"This blow was the severest of any I had yet experienced. I +literally shed a torrent of tears, in all the bitterness of +unmixed despair; I could not reconcile myself to the humiliation +which would make me a proverb to all my acquaintances, and the +disgrace of my family. I passed a week in the most profound +dejection, without being capable of gaining any information, or +of occupying myself with anything but my own degradation. The +remembrance even of Manon added nothing to my grief; it only +occurred to me as a circumstance that had preceded my new sorrow; +and the sense of shame and confusion was at present the +all-absorbing passion. + +"There are few persons who have experienced the force of these +special workings of the mind. The generality of men are only +sensible of five or six passions, in the limited round of which +they pass their lives, and within which all their agitations are +confined. Remove them from the influence of love and hate, +pleasure and pain, hope and fear, and they have no further +feeling. But persons of a finer cast can be affected in a +thousand different ways; it would almost seem that they had more +than five senses, and that they are accessible to ideas and +sensations which far exceed the ordinary faculties of human +nature; and, conscious that they possess a capacity which raises +them above the common herd, there is nothing of which they are +more jealous. Hence springs their impatience under contempt and +ridicule; and hence it is that a sense of debasement is perhaps +the most violent of all their emotions. + +"I had this melancholy advantage at St. Lazare. My grief +appeared to the governor so excessive, that, dreading the +consequences, he thought he was bound to treat me with more +mildness and indulgence. He visited me two or three times a day; +he often made me take a turn with him in the garden, and showed +his interest for me in his exhortations and good advice. I +listened always attentively; and warmly expressed my sense of his +kindness, from which he derived hopes of my ultimate conversion. + +"`You appear to me,' said he one day, `of a disposition so mild +and tractable, that I cannot comprehend the excesses into which +you have fallen. Two things astonish me: one is, how, with your +good qualities, you could have ever abandoned yourself to vice; +and the other, which amazes me still more, is, how you can +receive with such perfect temper my advice and instructions, +after having lived so long in a course of debauchery. If it be +sincere repentance, you present a singular example of the benign +mercy of Heaven; if it proceed from the natural goodness of your +disposition, then you certainly have that within you which +warrants the hope that a protracted residence in this place will +not be required to bring you back to a regular and respectable +life.' + +"I was delighted to find that he had such an opinion of me. I +resolved to strengthen it by a continuance of good conduct, +convinced that it was the surest means of abridging the term of +my confinement. I begged of him to furnish me with books. He +was agreeably surprised to find that when he requested me to say +what I should prefer, I mentioned only some religious and +instructive works. I pretended to devote myself assiduously to +study, and I thus gave him convincing proof of the moral +reformation he was so anxious to bring about. It was nothing, +however, but rank hypocrisy--I blush to confess it. Instead of +studying, when alone I did nothing but curse my destiny. I +lavished the bitterest execrations on my prison, and the tyrants +who detained me there. If I ceased for a moment from these +lamentations, it was only to relapse into the tormenting +remembrance of my fatal and unhappy love. Manon's absence--the +mystery in which her fate was veiled--the dread of never again +beholding her; these formed the subject of my melancholy +thoughts. I fancied her in the arms of G---- M----. Far from +imagining that he could have been brute enough to subject her to +the same treatment to which I was condemned, I felt persuaded +that he had only procured my removal, in order that he might +possess her in undisturbed enjoyment. + +"Oh! how miserable were the days and nights I thus passed! They +seemed to be of endless duration. My only hope of escape now, +was in hypocrisy; I scrutinised the countenance, and carefully +marked every observation that fell from the governor, in order to +ascertain what he really thought of me; and looking on him as the +sole arbiter of my future fate, I made it my study to win, if +possible, his favour. I soon had the satisfaction to find that I +was firmly established in his good graces, and no longer doubted +his disposition to befriend me. + +"I, one day, ventured to ask him whether my liberation depended +on him. He replied that it was not altogether in his hands, but +that he had no doubt that on his representation M. G---- M----, +at whose instance the lieutenant-general of police had ordered me +to be confined, would consent to my being set at liberty. `May I +flatter myself,' rejoined I, in the mildest tone, `that he will +consider two months, which I have now spent in this prison, as a +sufficient atonement?' He offered to speak to him, if I wished +it. I implored him without delay to do me that favour. + +"He told me two days afterwards that G---- M---- was so sensibly +affected by what he had heard, that he not only was ready to +consent to my liberation, but that he had even expressed a strong +desire to become better acquainted with me, and that he himself +purposed to pay me a visit in prison. Although his presence +could not afford me much pleasure, I looked upon it as a certain +prelude to my liberation. + +"He accordingly came to St. Lazare. I met him with an air more +grave and certainly less silly than I had exhibited at his house +with Manon. He spoke reasonably enough of my former bad conduct. +He added, as if to excuse his own delinquencies, that it was +graciously permitted to the weakness of man to indulge in certain +pleasures, almost, indeed, prompted by nature, but that +dishonesty and such shameful practices ought to be, and always +would be, inexorably punished. + +"I listened to all he said with an air of submission, which +quite charmed him. I betrayed no symptoms of annoyance even at +some jokes in which he indulged about my relationship with Manon +and Lescaut, and about the little chapels of which he supposed I +must have had time to erect a great many in St. Lazare, as I was +so fond of that occupation. But he happened, unluckily both for +me and for himself, to add, that he hoped Manon had also employed +herself in the same edifying manner at the Magdalen. +Notwithstanding the thrill of horror I felt at the sound of the +name, I had still presence of mind enough to beg, in the gentlest +manner, that he would explain himself. `Oh! yes,' he replied, +`she has been these last two months at the Magdalen learning to +be prudent, and I trust she has improved herself as much there, +as you have done at St. Lazare!' + +"If an eternal imprisonment, or death itself, had been presented +to my view, I could not have restrained the excitement into which +this afflicting announcement threw me. I flung myself upon him +in so violent a rage that half my strength was exhausted by the +effort. I had, however, more than enough left to drag him to the +ground, and grasp him by the throat. I should infallibly have +strangled him, if his fall, and the half-stifled cries which he +had still the power to utter, had not attracted the governor and +several of the priests to my room. They rescued him from my +fury. + +"I was, myself, breathless and almost impotent from rage. `Oh +God!' I cried--`Heavenly justice! Must I survive this infamy?' +I tried again to seize the barbarian who had thus roused my +indignation--they prevented me. My despair--my cries--my tears, +exceeded all belief: I raved in so incoherent a manner that all +the bystanders, who were ignorant of the cause, looked at each +other with as much dread as surprise. + +"G---- M---- in the meantime adjusted his wig and cravat, and in +his anger at having been so ill-treated, ordered me to be kept +under more severe restraint than before, and to be punished in +the manner usual with offenders in St. Lazare. `No, sir!' said +the governor, `it is not with a person of his birth that we are +in the habit of using such means of coercion; besides, he is +habitually so mild and well-conducted, that I cannot but think +you must have given provocation for such excessive violence.' +This reply disconcerted G---- M---- beyond measure and he went +away, declaring that he knew how to be revenged on the governor, +as well as on me, and everyone else who dared to thwart him. + +"The Superior, having ordered some of the brotherhood to escort +him out of the prison, remained alone with me. He conjured me to +tell him at once what was the cause of the fracas.--`Oh, my good +sir!' said I to him, continuing to cry like a child, `imagine the +most horrible cruelty, figure to yourself the most inhuman of +atrocities--that is what G---- M---- has had the cowardly +baseness to perpetrate: he has pierced my heart. Never shall I +recover from this blow! I would gladly tell you the whole +circumstance,' added I, sobbing with grief; `you are +kind-hearted, and cannot fail to pity me.' + +"I gave him, as briefly as I could, a history of my +long-standing and insurmountable passion for Manon, of the +flourishing condition of our fortunes previous to the robbery +committed by our servants, of the offers which G---- M---- had +made to my mistress, of the understanding they had come to, and +the manner in which it had been defeated. To be sure, I +represented things to him in as favourable a light for us as +possible. `Now you can comprehend,' continued I, `the source of +M. G---- M----'s holy zeal for my conversion. He has had +influence enough to have me shut up here, out of mere revenge. +That I can pardon; but, my good sir, that is not all. He has +taken from me my heart's blood: he has had Manon shamefully +incarcerated in the Magdalen; and had the effrontery to announce +it to me this day with his own lips. In the Magdalen, good sir! +Oh heavens! my adorable mistress, my beloved Manon, a degraded +inmate of the Hospital! How shall I command strength of mind +enough to survive this grief and shame!' + +"The good Father, seeing me in such affliction, endeavoured to +console me. He told me that he had never understood my history, +as I just now related it; he had of course known that I led a +dissolute life, but he had imagined that M. G---- M----'s +interest about me was the result of his esteem and friendship for +my family; that it was in this sense he had explained the matter +to him; that what I had now told him should assuredly produce a +change in my treatment, and that he had no doubt but the accurate +detail which he should immediately transmit to the +lieutenant-general of police would bring about my liberation. + +"He then enquired why I had never thought of informing my family +of what had taken place, since they had not been instrumental to +my incarceration. I satisfactorily answered this by stating my +unwillingness to cause my father pain, or to bring upon myself +the humiliation of such an exposure. In the end, he promised to +go directly to the lieutenant-general of police if it were only, +said he, to be beforehand with M. G---- M----, who went off in +such a rage, and who had sufficient influence to make himself +formidable. + +"I looked for the good Father's return with all the suspense of +a man expecting sentence of death. It was torture to me to think +of Manon at the Magdalen. Besides the infamy of such a prison, I +knew not how she might be treated there; and the recollection of +some particulars I had formerly heard of this horrible place, +incessantly renewed my misery. Cost what it might, I was so bent +upon relieving her by some means or other, that I should +assuredly have set fire to St. Lazare, if no other mode of escape +had presented itself. + +"I considered what chances would remain to me if the lieutenant- +general still kept me in confinement. I taxed my ingenuity: I +scanned every imaginable gleam of hope--I could discover nothing +that gave me any prospect of escape, and I feared that I should +experience only more rigid confinement, if I made an unsuccessful +attempt. I thought of some friends from whom I might hope for +aid, but then, how was I to make them aware of my situation? At +length I fancied that I had hit upon a plan so ingenious, as to +offer a fair probability of success. I postponed the details of +its arrangement until after the Superior's return, in case of his +having failed in the object of his visit. + +"He soon arrived: I did not observe upon his countenance any of +those marks of joy that indicate good news. `I have spoken,' +said he, `to the lieutenant-general of police, but I was too +late, M. G---- M---- went straight to him after quitting us, and +so prejudiced him against you, that he was on the point of +sending me fresh instructions to subject you to closer +confinement. + +"`However, when I let him know the truth of your story, he +reconsidered the matter, and, smiling at the incontinence of old +G---- M----, he said it would be necessary to keep you here for +six months longer, in order to pacify him; the less to be +lamented,' he added, `because your morals would be sure to +benefit by your residence here. He desired that I would show you +every kindness and attention, and I need not assure you that you +shall have no reason to complain of your treatment.' + +"This speech of the Superior's was long enough to afford me time +to form a prudent resolution. I saw that by betraying too strong +an impatience for my liberty, I should probably be upsetting all +my projects. I acknowledged to him, that, as it was necessary to +me to remain, it was an infinite comfort to know that I possessed +a place in his esteem. I then requested, and with unaffected +sincerity, a favour, which could be of no consequence to others, +and which would contribute much to my peace of mind; it was to +inform a friend of mine, a devout clergyman, who lived at St. +Sulpice, that I was at St. Lazare, and to permit me occasionally +to receive his visits. + +"This was of course my friend Tiberge; not that I could hope +from him the assistance necessary for effecting my liberty; but I +wished to make him the unconscious instrument of my designs. In +a word, this was my project: I wished to write to Lescaut, and to +charge him and our common friends with the task of my +deliverance. The first difficulty was to have my letter conveyed +to him: this should be Tiberge's office. However, as he knew him +to be Manon's brother, I doubted whether he would take charge of +this commission. My plan was to enclose my letter to Lescaut in +another to some respectable man of my acquaintance, begging of +him to transmit the first to its address without delay; and as it +was necessary that I should have personal communication with +Lescaut, in order to arrange our proceedings, I told him to call +on me at St. Lazare, and assume the name of my eldest brother, as +if he had come to Paris expressly to see me. I postponed till +our meeting all mention of the safest and most expeditious course +I intended to suggest for our future conduct. The governor +informed Tiberge of my wish to see him. This ever-faithful +friend had not so entirely lost sight of me as to be ignorant of +my present abode, and it is probable that, in his heart, he did +not regret the circumstance, from an idea that it might furnish +the means of my moral regeneration. He lost no time in paying me +the desired visit. + + + +VI + + +It is a strange thing to note the excess of this passion; +and how it braves the nature and value of things, by this-- +that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole is comely in nothing +but in love.--BACON. + + +"My interview with Tiberge was of the most friendly description. +I saw that his object was to discover the present temper of my +mind. I opened my heart to him without any reserve, except as to +the mere point of my intention of escaping. `It is not from such +a friend as you,' said I, `that I can ever wish to dissemble my +real feelings. If you flattered yourself with a hope that you +were at last about to find me grown prudent and regular in my +conduct, a libertine reclaimed by the chastisements of fortune, +released alike from the trammels of love, and the dominion that +Manon wields over me, I must in candour say, that you deceive +yourself. You still behold me, as you left me four months ago, +the slave--if you will, the unhappy slave--of a passion, from +which I now hope, as fervently and as confidently as I ever did, +to derive eventually solid comfort.' + +"He answered, that such an acknowledgment rendered me utterly +inexcusable; that it was no uncommon case to meet sinners who +allowed themselves to be so dazzled with the glare of vice as to +prefer it openly to the true splendour of virtue; they were at +least deluded by the false image of happiness, the poor dupes of +an empty shadow; but to know and feel as I did, that the object +of my attachment was only calculated to render me culpable and +unhappy, and to continue thus voluntarily in a career of misery +and crime, involved a contradiction of ideas and of conduct +little creditable to my reason. + +"`Tiberge,' replied I, `it is easy to triumph when your +arguments are unopposed. Allow me to reason for a few moments in +my turn. Can you pretend that what you call the happiness of +virtue is exempt from troubles, and crosses, and cares? By what +name will you designate the dungeon, the rack, the inflections +and tortures of tyrants? Will you say with the Mystics[1] that +the soul derives pleasure from the torments of the body? You are +not bold enough to hold such a doctrine--a paradox not to be +maintained. This happiness, then, that you prize so much, has a +thousand drawbacks, or is, more properly speaking, but a tissue +of sufferings through which one hopes to attain felicity. If by +the power of imagination one can even derive pleasure from these +sufferings, hoping that they may lead to a happy end, why, let me +ask, do you deem my conduct senseless, when it is directed by +precisely the same principle? I love Manon: I wade through +sorrow and suffering in order to attain happiness with her. My +path is one indeed of difficulties, but the mere hope of reaching +the desired goal makes it easy and delightful; and I shall think +myself but too bountifully repaid by one moment of her society, +for all the troubles I encounter in my course. There appears +therefore no difference between us, or, if there be any, it is +assuredly in my favour; for the bliss I hope for is near and +tangible, yours is far distant, and purely speculative. Mine is +of the same kind as my sufferings, that is to say, evident to my +senses; yours is of an incomprehensible nature, and only +discernible through the dim medium of faith.' + + +[1] A favourite tenet of the Mystics, advocated by Madame de +Guyon, and adopted by the amiable and eloquent Fenelon, was, that +the love of the Supreme Being must be pure and disinterested; +that is, exempt from all views of interest, and all hope of +reward. See the controversy between Bossuet and Fenelon. + + + +"Tiberge appeared shocked by my remarks. He retired two or +three paces from me, while he said, in the most serious tone, +that my argument was not only a violation of good sense, but that +it was the miserable sophistry of irreligion; `for the +comparison,' he added, `of the pitiful reward of your sufferings +with that held out to us by the divine revelation, is the essence +of impiety and absurdity combined.' + +"`I acknowledge,' said I, `that the comparison is not a just +one, but my argument does not at all depend upon it. I was about +to explain what you consider a contradiction--the persevering in +a painful pursuit; and I think I have satisfactorily proved, that +if there be any contradiction in that, we shall be both equally +obnoxious to the charge. It was in this light, only, that I +could observe no difference in our cases, and I cannot as yet +perceive any. + +"`You may probably answer, that the proposed end, the promised +reward, of virtue, is infinitely superior to that of love? No +one disputes it, but that is not the question--we are only +discussing the relative aid they both afford in the endurance of +affliction. Judge of that by the practical effect: are there not +multitudes who abandon a life of strict virtue? how few give up +the pursuits of love! + +"`Again, you will reply that if there be difficulties in the +exercise of virtue, they are by no means universal and sure; that +the good man does not necessarily meet tyrants and tortures, and +that, on the contrary, a life of virtue is perfectly compatible +with repose and enjoyment. I can say with equal truth, that love +is often accompanied by content and happiness; and what makes +another distinction of infinite advantage to my argument, I may +add that love, though it often deludes, never holds out other +than hopes of bliss and joy, whilst religion exacts from her +votaries mortification and sorrow. + +"`Do not be alarmed,' said I, perceiving that I had almost +offended his zealous feelings of devotion. `I only wish to say, +that there is no more unsuccessful method of weaning man's heart +from love, than by endeavouring to decry its enjoyments, and by +promising him more pleasure from the exercise of virtue. It is +an inherent principle in our nature, that our felicity consists +only in pleasure. I defy you to conceive any other notion of it; +and it requires little time to arrive at the conviction, that, of +all pleasures, those of love are immeasurably the most +enchanting. A man quickly discerns the delusion, when he hears +the promise made of livelier enjoyment, and the effect of such +misrepresentation is only to make him doubt the truth of a more +solid promise. + +"`Let the preacher who seeks the reformation of a sinner tell +me that virtue is indispensably necessary, but not disguise its +difficulty and its attendant denials. Say that the enjoyments of +love are fleeting, if you will, that they are rigidly forbidden, +that they lead with certainty to eternal suffering; and, what +would assuredly make a deeper impression upon me than any other +argument, say that the more sweet and delectable they are, the +brighter will be the reward of Heaven for giving them up in +sacrifice; but do in the name of justice admit, that, constituted +as the heart of man is, they form here, on earth, our most +perfect happiness.' + +"My last sentence restored to Tiberge his good humour. He +allowed that my ideas were not altogether so unreasonable. The +only point he made, was in asking me why I did not carry my own +principle into operation, by sacrificing my passion to the hope +of that remuneration of which I had drawn so brilliant a picture. +`Oh! my dear friend,' replied I; `that it is which makes me +conscious of my own misery and weakness: true, alas! it is indeed +my duty to act according to my argument; but have I the power of +governing my own actions? What aid will enable me to forget +Manon's charms?' 'God forgive me,' said Tiberge, `I can almost +fancy you a Jansenist[1]. `I know not of what sect I am,' +replied I, `nor do I indeed very clearly see to which I ought to +belong; but I cannot help feeling the truth of this at least of +their tenets.' + + +[1] The first proposition of the Jansenists was, that there are +divine precepts which good men, notwithstanding their desire to +observe them, are nevertheless absolutely unable to obey: God not +having given them such a measure of grace as is essentially +necessary to render them capable of obedience.--Mosheim's Eccles. +Hist., ii. 397. + + +"One effect of our conversation was to revive my friend's pity +for me in all its force. He perceived that there was in my +errors more of weakness than of vice; and he was the more +disposed in the end to give me assistance; without which I should +infallibly have perished from distress of mind. However, I +carefully concealed from him my intention of escaping from St. +Lazare. I merely begged of him to take charge of my letter; I +had it ready before he came, and I soon found an excuse for the +necessity of writing. He faithfully transmitted it, and Lescaut +received before evening the one I had enclosed for him. + +"He came to see me next morning, and fortunately was admitted +under my brother's name. I was overjoyed at finding him in my +room. I carefully closed the door. `Let us lose no time,' I +said. `First tell me about Manon, and then advise me how I am to +shake off these fetters.' He assured me that he had not seen his +sister since the day before my arrest, and that it was only by +repeated enquiries, and after much trouble, that he had at length +been able to discover her fate as well as mine; and that he had +two or three times presented himself at the Magdalen, and been +refused admittance. `Wretch!' muttered I to myself, `dearly +shall G---- M---- pay for this!' + +"`As to your escape,' continued Lescaut, `it will not be so easy +as you imagine. Last evening, I and a couple of friends walked +round this establishment to reconnoitre it; and we agreed that, +as your windows looked into a court surrounded by buildings, as +you yourself mentioned in your letter, there would be vast +difficulty in getting you out. Besides, you are on the third +story, and it would be impossible to introduce ropes or ladders +through the window. I therefore see no means from without--in +the house itself we must hit upon some scheme.' + +"`No,' replied I; `I have examined everything minutely, +particularly since, through the governor's indulgence, my +confinement has been less rigorous. I am no longer locked into +my room; I have liberty to walk in the gallery; but there is, +upon every landing, a strong door kept closed night and day, so +that it is impossible that ingenuity alone, unaided by some +violent efforts, can rescue me. + +"`Wait,' said I, after turning in my mind for a moment an idea +that struck me as excellent; `could you bring me a pistol?' +`Softly,' said Lescaut to me, `you don't think of committing +murder?' I assured him that I had so little intention of +shooting anyone, that it would not be even necessary to have the +pistol loaded. `Bring it to me tomorrow,' I added, `and do not +fail to be exactly opposite the great entrance with two or three +of your friends at eleven tomorrow night; I think I shall be able +to join you there.' He in vain requested me to explain my plan. +I told him that such an attempt as I contemplated could only +appear rational after it had succeeded. I begged of him to +shorten his visit, in order that he might with the less +difficulty be admitted next morning. He was accordingly admitted +as readily as on his first visit. He had put on so serious an +air, moreover, that a stranger would have taken him for a +respectable person. + +"When I found in my hand the instrument of my liberty, I no +longer doubted my success. It was certainly a strange and a bold +project; but of what was I not capable, with the motives that +inspired me? I had, since I was allowed permission to walk in +the galleries, found opportunities of observing that every night +the porter brought the keys of all the doors to the governor, and +subsequently there always reigned a profound silence in the +house, which showed that the inmates had retired to rest. There +was an open communication between my room and that of the +Superior. My resolution was, if he refused quietly to surrender +the keys, to force him, by fear of the pistol, to deliver them +up, and then by their help to gain the street. I impatiently +awaited the moment for executing my purpose. The porter arrived +at his usual time, that is to say, soon after nine o'clock. I +allowed an hour to elapse, in order that the priests as well as +the servants might be all asleep. I at length proceeded with my +pistol and a lighted candle. I first gave a gentle tap at the +governor's door to awaken without alarming him. I knocked a +second time before he heard me; and supposing of course that it +was one of the priests who was taken ill and wanted assistance, +he got out of bed, dressed himself, and came to the door. He +had, however, the precaution to ask first who it was, and what +was wanted? I was obliged to mention my name, but I assumed a +plaintive tone, to make him believe that I was indisposed. `Ah! +it is you, my dear boy,' said he on opening the door; `what can +bring you here at this hour?' I stepped inside the door, and +leading him to the opposite side of the room, I declared to him +that it was absolutely impossible for me to remain longer at St. +Lazare; that the night was the most favourable time for going out +unobserved, and that I confidently expected, from his tried +friendship, that he would consent to open the gates for me, or +entrust me with the keys to let myself out. + +"This compliment to his friendship seemed to surprise him. He +stood for a few moments looking at me without making any reply. +Finding that I had no time to lose, I just begged to assure him +that I had the most lively sense of all his kindnesses, but that +freedom was dearer to man than every other consideration, +especially so to me, who had been cruelly and unjustly deprived +of it; that I was resolved this night to recover it, cost what it +would, and fearing lest he might raise his voice and call for +assistance, I let him see the powerful incentive to silence which +I had kept concealed in my bosom. `A pistol!' cried he. `What! +my son? will you take away my life in return for the attentions I +have shown you?' `God forbid,' replied I; `you are too +reasonable to drive me to that horrible extremity: but I am +determined to be free, and so firmly determined, that if you +defeat my project, I will put an end to your existence.' `But, +my dear son!' said he, pale and frightened, `what have I done to +you? What reason have you for taking my life?' `No!' replied I, +impatiently, `I have no design upon your life, if you, yourself, +wish to live; open but the doors for me, and you will find me the +most attached of friends.' I perceived the keys upon the table. +I requested he would take them in his hand and walk before me, +making as little noise as he possibly could. + +"He saw the necessity of consenting. We proceeded, and as he +opened each door, he repeated, always with a sigh, `Ah! my son, +who could have believed it?' `No noise, good Father, no noise,' +I as often answered in my turn. At length we reached a kind of +barrier, just inside the great entrance. I already fancied +myself free, and kept close behind the governor, with my candle +in one hand, and my pistol in the other. + +"While he was endeavouring to open the heavy gate, one of the +servants, who slept in an adjoining room, hearing the noise of +the bolts, jumped out of bed, and peeped forth to see what was +passing. The good Father apparently thought him strong enough to +overpower me. He commanded him, most imprudently, to come to his +assistance. He was a powerful ruffian, and threw himself upon me +without an instant's hesitation. There was no time for +parleying--I levelled my pistol and lodged the contents in his +breast! `See, Father, of what mischief you have been the cause,' +said I to my guide; `but that must not prevent us from finishing +our work,' I added, pushing him on towards the last door. He did +not dare refuse to open it. I made my exit in perfect safety, +and, a few paces off, found Lescaut with two friends waiting for +me, according to his promise. + +"We removed at once to a distance. Lescaut enquired whether he +had not heard the report of a pistol? `You are to blame,' said +I, `why did you bring it charged?' I, however, could not help +thanking him for having taken this precaution, without which I +doubtless must have continued much longer at St. Lazare. We went +to pass the night at a tavern, where I made up, in some degree, +for the miserable fare which had been doled out to me for nearly +three months. I was very far, however, from tasting perfect +enjoyment; Manon's sufferings were mine. `She must be released,' +said I to my companions: `this was my sole object in desiring my +own liberty. I rely on your aiding me with all your ingenuity; +as for myself, my life shall be devoted to the purpose.' + +"Lescaut, who was not deficient in tact, and still less in that +better part of valour called discretion, dwelt upon the necessity +of acting with extreme caution: he said that my escape from St. +Lazare, and the accident that happened on my leaving it, would +assuredly create a sensation; that the lieutenant-general of +police would cause a strict search to be made for me, and it +would be difficult to evade him; in fine, that, unless disposed +to encounter something worse, perhaps, than St. Lazare, it would +be requisite for me to remain concealed for a few days, in order +to give the enemy's zeal time to cool. No doubt this was wise +counsel; but, one should have been wise oneself to have followed +it. Such calculating slowness little suited my passion. The +utmost I could bring myself to promise was, that I would sleep +through the whole of the next day. He locked me in my bedroom, +where I remained patiently until night. + +"I employed great part of the time in devising schemes for +relieving Manon. I felt persuaded that her prison was even more +inaccessible than mine had been. Force was out of the question. +Artifice was the only resource; but the goddess of invention +herself could not have told me how to begin. I felt the +impossibility of working in the dark, and therefore postponed the +further consideration of my schemes until I could acquire some +knowledge of the internal arrangements of the Hospital, in which +she was confined. + +"As soon as night restored to me my liberty, I begged of Lescaut +to accompany me. We were not long in drawing one of the porters +into conversation; he appeared a reasonable man. I passed for a +stranger who had often with admiration heard talk of the +Hospital, and of the order that reigned within it. I enquired +into the most minute details; and, proceeding from one subject to +another, we at length spoke of the managers, and of these I +begged to know the names and the respective characters. He gave +me such information upon the latter point as at once suggested an +idea which flattered my hopes, and I immediately set about +carrying it into execution. + +"I asked him (this being a matter essential to my plan) whether +any of the gentlemen had children. He said he could not answer +me with certainty as to all, but as for M. de T----, one of the +principal directors, he knew that he had a son old enough to be +married, and who had come several times to the Hospital with his +father. This was enough for my purpose. + +"I immediately put an end to our interview, and, in returning, I +told Lescaut of the plan I had formed. `I have taken it,' said +I, `into my head, that M. de T----, the son, who is rich and of +good family, must have the same taste for pleasure that other +young men of his age generally have. He could hardly be so bad a +friend to the fair sex, nor so absurd as to refuse his services +in an affair of love. I have arranged a plan for interesting him +in favour of Manon. If he is a man of feeling and of right mind, +he will give us his assistance from generosity. If he is not to +be touched by a motive of this kind, he will at least do +something for a handsome girl, if it were only with the hope of +hereafter sharing her favours. I will not defer seeing him,' +added I, `beyond tomorrow. I really feel so elated by this +project, that I derive from it a good omen.' + +"Lescaut himself allowed that the idea was not unreasonable, and +that we might fairly entertain a hope of turning it to account. +I passed the night less sorrowfully. + +"Next morning I dressed as well as, in my present state of +indigence, I could possibly contrive to do; and went in a hackney +coach to the residence of M. de T----. He was surprised at +receiving a visit from a perfect stranger. I augured favourably +from his countenance and the civility of his manner. I explained +my object in the most candid way; and, to excite his feelings as +much as possible, I spoke of my ardent passion and of Manon's +merit, as of two things that were unequalled, except by each +other. He told me, that although he had never seen Manon, he had +heard of her; at least, if the person I was talking of was the +same who had been the mistress of old G---- M----. I conjectured +that he must have heard of the part I had acted in that +transaction, and in order to conciliate him more and more by +treating him with confidence, I told him everything that had +occurred to Manon and myself. `You see, sir,' said I, `that all +that can interest me in life, all that can command my affections, +is in your hands. I have no reserve with you, because I have +been informed of your generous and noble character; and, being of +the same age, I trust I shall find some resemblance in our +dispositions.' + +"He seemed flattered by this mark of candour and confidence. He +replied in a manner that became a man of the world, and a man of +feeling also, for they are not always synonymous terms. He told +me that he appreciated my visit as a piece of good fortune; that +he considered my friendship as a valuable acquisition, and that +he would endeavour to prove himself worthy of it, by the +sincerity of his services. He could not absolutely promise to +restore Manon to my arms, because, as he said, he himself had +very little influence; but he offered to procure me the pleasure +of seeing her, and to do everything in his power to effect her +release. I was the more satisfied with this frank avowal as to +his want of influence, than I should have been by an unqualified +promise of fulfilling all my wishes. I found in his moderation a +pledge of his sincerity: in a word, I no longer doubted my entire +success. The promise alone of enabling me to see Manon filled me +with gratitude, and I testified it in so earnest a manner, as to +give him a favourable opinion of my heart and disposition; we +shook hands warmly, and parted sworn friends, merely from mutual +regard, and that natural feeling which prompts a man of kind and +generous sentiments to esteem another of congenial mind. + +"He, indeed, exceeded me in the proofs of his esteem; for, +inferring from my adventures, and especially my late escape from +St. Lazare, that I might be in want of money, he offered me his +purse, and pressed me to accept it. I refused, but said to him, +`You are too kind, my dear sir! If in addition to such proofs of +kindness and friendship, you enable me to see Manon again, rely +on my eternal regard and gratitude. If you succeed in restoring +altogether this dear creature to my arms, I should think myself +happy in spilling the last drop of my blood in your service.' + +"Before we parted, we agreed as to the time and place for our +meeting. He was so considerate as to appoint the afternoon of +the same day. + +"I waited for him at a cafe, where he joined me about four +o'clock, and we went together towards the Magdalen; my knees +trembled under me as I crossed the courts. `Ye heavenly powers!' +said I, `then I shall once more behold the idol of my heart--the +dear object of so many sighs and lamentations! All I now ask of +Providence is, to vouchsafe me strength enough to reach her +presence, and after that, to dispose as it pleaseth of my future +fate, and of my life itself. Beyond this, I have no prayer to +utter.' + +"M. de T---- spoke to some of the porters of the establishment, +who appeared all anxious to please him. The quarter in which +Manon's room lay was pointed out to us, and our guide carried in +his hand the key of her chamber: it was of frightful size. I +asked the man who conducted us, and whose duty it was to attend +to Manon, how she passed her time? He said, that she had a +temper of the most angelic sweetness; that even he, disagreeable +as his official duties must render him, had never heard from her +a single syllable in the nature of rebuke or harshness; that her +tears had never ceased to flow during the first six weeks after +her arrival, but that latterly she seemed to bear her misfortunes +with more resignation, and that she employed herself from morning +till night with her needle, excepting some hours that she, each +day, devoted to reading. I asked whether she had been decently +provided for. He assured me that at least she had never felt the +want of necessaries. + +"We now approached her door. My heart beat almost audibly in +my bosom. I said to M. de T----, `Go in alone, and prepare her +for my visit; I fear that she may be overcome by seeing me +unexpectedly.' The door was opened. I remained in the passage, +and listened to the conversation. He said that he came to bring +her consolation; that he was a friend of mine, and felt deeply +interested for the happiness of us both. She asked with the +tenderest anxiety, whether he could tell her what had become of +me. He promised that she should soon see me at her feet, as +affectionate and as faithful as ever. `When?' she asked. `This +very day,' said he; `the happy moment shall not be long delayed; +nay, this very instant even, if you wish it.' She at once +understood that I was at the door; as she was rushing towards it, +I entered. We embraced each other with that abounding and +impassioned tenderness, which an absence of many months makes so +delicious to those who truly love. Our sighs, our broken +exclamations, the thousand endearing appellations of love, +exchanged in languishing rapture, astonished M. de T----, and +affected him even to tears. + +"`I cannot help envying you,' said he, as he begged us to be +seated; `there is no lot, however glorious, that I would hold as +comparable to the possession of a mistress at once so tender and +impassioned.' `Nor would I,' I replied, `give up her love for +universal empire!' + +"The remainder of an interview which had been so long and so +ardently desired by me, was of course as tender as the +commencement. Poor Manon related all her adventures, and I told +her mine: we bitterly wept over each other's story. M. de T---- +consoled us by his renewed promises to exert himself in our +service. He advised us not to make this, our first interview, of +too long duration, that he might have the less difficulty in +procuring us the same enjoyment again. He at length induced us +to follow his advice. Manon especially could not reconcile +herself to the separation: she made me a hundred times resume my +seat. At one time she held me by my hands, at another by my +coat. `Alas!' she said, `in what an abode do you leave me! Who +will answer for my ever seeing you again?' M. de T---- promised +her that he would often come and see her with me. `As to the +abode,' he said, 'it must no longer be called the Magdalen; it is +Versailles! now that it contains a person who deserves the empire +of all hearts.' + +"I made the man who attended a present as I went out, in order +to quicken his zeal and attentions. This fellow had a mind less +rough and vulgar than the generality of his class. He had +witnessed our interview, and was affected by it. The interest he +felt was doubtless increased by the louis d'or I gave him. He +took me aside as we went down into the courtyard. `Sir,' said +he, `if you will only take me into your service, or indemnify me +in any way for the loss of the situation which I fill here, I +think I should not have much difficulty in liberating the +beauteous Manon.' + +"I caught readily at the suggestion, and, although at the moment +I was almost in a state of destitution, I gave him promises far +beyond his desires. I considered that it would be at all times +easy to recompense a man of his description. `Be assured, my +friend,' said I to him, `that there is nothing I will not be +ready to do for you, and that your fortune is just as certain as +my own.' I enquired what means he intended to employ. `None +other,' said he, `than merely to open the door of her cell for +her at night, and to conduct her to the street door, where you, +of course, will be to receive her.' I asked whether there was no +danger of her being recognised as she traversed the long +galleries and the courts. He admitted that there was danger, but +that nothing could be done without some slight risk. + +"Although I was delighted to find him so determined, I called M. +de T----, and informed him of the project, and of the only +difficulty in the way. He thought it not so easy of execution. +He allowed the possibility of escaping thus: `But if she be +recognised,' continued he, `if she be stopped in the attempt, all +hope will be over with her, perhaps for ever. Besides, you would +be obliged to quit Paris instantly, for you could never evade the +search that would be made for you: they would redouble their +efforts as much on your own account as hers. A single man may +easily escape detection, but in company with a handsome woman, it +would be utterly impossible to remain undiscovered.' + +"However sound this reasoning, it could not, in my mind, +outweigh the immediate prospect of restoring Manon to liberty. I +said as much to M. de T----, and trusted that he would excuse my +imprudence and rashness, on the ground of love. I added that it +was already my intention to quit Paris for some neighbouring +village, as I had once before done. We then settled with the +servant that he should carry his project into execution the +following day, and to render our success as certain as he could, +we resolved to carry into the prison men's clothes, in order to +facilitate her escape. + +There was a difficulty to be surmounted in carrying them in, but +I had ingenuity enough to meet it. I begged of M. de T---- only +to put on two light waistcoats the next morning, and I undertook +to arrange the rest. + +We returned the following day to the Hospital. I took with me +linen, stockings, etc., for Manon, and over my body-coat a +surtout, which concealed the bulk I carried in my pockets. We +remained but a moment in her room. M. de T---- left her one of +his waistcoats; I gave her my short coat, the surtout being +sufficient for me. She found nothing wanting for her complete +equipment but a pair of pantaloons, which in my hurry I had +forgotten. + +"The want of so necessary an article might have amused us, if +the embarrassment it caused had been of a less serious kind. I +was in despair at having our whole scheme foiled by a trifling +omission of this nature. However, I soon hit on a remedy, and +determined to make my own exit sans-culotte, leaving that portion +of my dress with Manon. My surtout was long, and I contrived by +the help of a few pins to put myself in a decent condition for +passing the gate. + +"The remainder of the day appeared to me of endless length. +When at last night came, we went in a coach to within a few yards +of the Hospital. We were not long waiting, when we saw Manon +make her appearance with her guide. The door of the coach being +opened, they both stepped in without delay. I opened my arms to +receive my adored mistress; she trembled like an aspen leaf. The +coachman asked where he was to drive? `To the end of the world!' +I exclaimed; `to some place where I can never again be separated +from Manon.' + +"This burst, which I could not control, was near bringing me +into fresh trouble. The coachman reflected upon what I said, and +when I afterwards told him the name of the street to which I +wished him to drive, he answered that he feared I was about to +implicate him in some bad business; that he saw plainly enough +that the good-looking young man whom I called Manon was a girl +eloping from the Hospital, and that he was little disposed indeed +to ruin himself for love of me. + +"Extortion was the source of this scoundrel's delicacy. We were +still too near the Hospital to make any noise. `Silence!' said I +to him, `you shall have a louis d'or for the job': for less than +that he would have helped me to burn the Hospital. + +"We arrived at Lescaut's house. As it was late, M. de T---- +left us on the way, promising to visit us the next morning. The +servant alone remained. + +"I held Manon in such close embrace in my arms, that we occupied +but one place in the coach. She cried for joy, and I could feel +her tears trickling down my cheeks. + +"When we were about getting out at Lescaut's, I had a new +difficulty with the coachman, which was attended with the most +unfortunate results. I repented of having promised the fellow a +louis d'or, not only because it was extravagant folly, but for +another stronger reason, that it was at the moment out of my +power to pay him. I called for Lescaut, and he came down to the +door. I whispered to him the cause of my present embarrassment. +Being naturally rough, and not at all in the habit of treating +hackney-coachmen with respect, he answered that I could not be +serious. `A louis!' said he; `twenty blows of a cane would be +the right payment for that rascal!' I entreated him not to +destroy us; when he snatched my cane from my hand, and was about +to lay it on the coachman. The fellow had probably before +experienced the weight of a guardsman's arm, and instantly drove +off, crying out, that I had cheated him, and should hear of him +again. I in vain endeavoured to stop him. + +"His flight caused me, of course, the greatest alarm. I had no +doubt that he would immediately give information to the police. +`You have ruined me,' said I to Lescaut; `I shall be no longer +safe at your house; we must go hence at once.' I gave Manon my +arm, and as quickly as possible got out of the dangerous +neighbourhood. Lescaut accompanied us." + +The Chevalier des Grieux having occupied more than an hour with +his story, I begged him to give himself a little rest, and +meanwhile to share our supper. He saw, by the attention we paid +him, that we were amused, and promised that we should hear +something of perhaps greater interest in the sequel. When we had +finished supper, he continued in the following words. + + + +VII + + +. . . How chances mock, +And changes fill the cup of alteration +With divers liquors. + +SHAKESPEARE. + + +"How inscrutably does Providence connect events! We had hardly +proceeded for five minutes on our way, when a man, whose face I +could not see, recognised Lescaut. He had no doubt been watching +for him near his home, with the horrible intention which he now +unhappily executed. `It IS Lescaut!' said he, snapping a pistol +at his head; `he shall sup tonight with the angels!' He then +instantly disappeared. Lescaut fell, without the least sign of +life. I pressed Manon to fly, for we could be of no use to a +dead man, and I feared being arrested by the police, who would +certainly be soon upon the spot. I turned down the first narrow +street with her and the servant: she was so overpowered by the +scene she had just witnessed, that I could hardly support her. +At last, at the end of the street, I perceived a hackney-coach; +we got into it, but when the coachman asked whither he should +drive, I was scarcely able to answer him. I had no certain +asylum--no confidential friend to whom I could have recourse. I +was almost destitute of money, having but one dollar left in my +purse. Fright and fatigue had so unnerved Manon, that she was +almost fainting at my side. My imagination too was full of the +murder of Lescaut, and I was not without strong apprehensions of +the patrol. What was to be done? I luckily remembered the inn +at Chaillot, where we first went to reside in that village. I +hoped to be not only secure, but to continue there for some time +without being pressed for payment. `Take us to Chaillot,' said I +to the coachman. He refused to drive us so far at that late hour +for less than twelve francs. A new embarrassment! At last we +agreed for half that sum--all that my purse contained. + +"I tried to console Manon as we went along, but despair was +rankling in my own heart. I should have destroyed myself a +thousand times over, if I had not felt that I held in my arms all +that could attach me to life: this reflection reconciled me. `I +possess her at least,' said I; `she loves me! she is mine! +Vainly does Tiberge call this a mere phantom of happiness.' I +could, without feeling interest or emotion, see the whole world +besides perish around me. Why? Because I have in it no object +of affection beyond her. + +"This sentiment was true; however, while I so lightly esteemed +the good things of the world, I felt that there was no doing +without some little portion of them, were it only to inspire a +more thorough contempt for the remainder. Love is more powerful +than wealth--more attractive than grandeur or fame; but, alas! it +cannot exist without certain artificial aids; and there is +nothing more humiliating to the feelings, of a sensitive lover, +than to find himself, by want of means, reduced to the level of +the most vulgar minds. + +"It was eleven o'clock when we arrived at Chaillot. They +received us at the inn as old acquaintances, and expressed no +sort of surprise at seeing Manon in male attire, for it was the +custom in Paris and the environs to adopt all disguises. I took +care to have her served with as much attention as if I had been +in prosperous circumstances. She was ignorant of my poverty, and +I carefully kept her so, being resolved to return alone the +following day to Paris, to seek some cure for this vexatious kind +of malady. + +"At supper she appeared pale and thin; I had not observed this +at the Hospital, as the room in which I saw her was badly +lighted. I asked her if the excessive paleness were not caused +by the shock of witnessing her brother's death? She assured me +that, horrified as she naturally was at the event, her paleness +was purely the effect of a three months' absence from me. `You +do love me then devotedly?' I exclaimed. + +"`A thousand times more than I can tell!' was her reply. + +"`You will never leave me again?' I added. + +"`No! never, never!' answered she. + +"This assurance was confirmed by so many caresses and vows, that +it appeared impossible she could, to the end of time, forget +them. I have never doubted that she was at that moment sincere. +What motive could she have had for dissembling to such a degree? +But she became afterwards still more volatile than ever, or +rather she was no longer anything, and entirely forgot herself, +when, in poverty and want, she saw other women living in +abundance. I was now on the point of receiving a new proof of +her inconstancy, which threw all that had passed into the shade, +and which led to the strangest adventure that ever happened to a +man of my birth and prospects. + +"As I knew her disposition, I hastened the next day to Paris. +The death of her brother, and the necessity of getting linen and +clothes for her, were such good reasons, that I had no occasion +for any further pretext. I left the inn, with the intention, as +I told Manon and the landlord, of going in a hired carriage, but +this was a mere flourish; necessity obliged me to travel on foot: +I walked very fast as far as Cours-la-Reine, where I intended to +rest. A moment of solitude and tranquillity was requisite to +compose myself, and to consider what was to be done in Paris. + +"I sat down upon the grass. I plunged into a sea of thoughts +and considerations, which at length resolved themselves into +three principal heads. I had pressing want of an infinite number +of absolute necessaries; I had to seek some mode of at least +raising a hope for the future; and, though last, not least in +importance, I had to gain information, and adopt measures, to +secure Manon's safety and my own. After having exhausted myself +in devising projects upon these three chief points, I was obliged +to put out of view for the moment the two last. We were not ill +sheltered from observation in the inn at Chaillot; and as to +future wants, I thought it would be time enough to think about +them when those of the moment were satisfied. + +"The main object now was to replenish my purse. M. de T---- had +once offered me his, but I had an extreme repugnance to mention +the subject to him again. What a degradation to expose one's +misery to a stranger, and to ask for charity: it must be either a +man of low mind who would thus demean himself, and that from a +baseness which must render him insensible to the degradation, or +a humble Christian, from a consciousness of generosity in +himself, which must put him above the sense of shame. I would +have sacrificed half my life to be spared the humiliation. + +"`Tiberge,' said I, `kind Tiberge, will he refuse me what he +has it in his power to grant? No, he will assuredly sympathise +in my misery; but he will also torture me with his lectures! One +must endure his reproaches, his exhortations, his threats: I +shall have to purchase his assistance so dearly, that I would +rather make any sacrifice than encounter this distressing scene, +which cannot fail to leave me full of sorrow and remorse. Well,' +thought I again, `all hope must be relinquished, since no other +course presents itself: so far am I from adopting either of +these, that I would sooner shed half my blood than face one of +these evils, or the last drop rather than encounter both. Yes, +the very last drop,' I repeated after a moment's reflection, `I +would sacrifice willingly rather than submit to such base +supplication! + +"`But it is not in reality a question of my existence! Manon's +life and maintenance, her love and her fidelity, are at stake! +What consideration can outweigh that? In her are centred all my +glory, happiness, and future fortune! There are doubtless many +things that I would gladly give up my life to obtain, or to +avoid; but to estimate a thing merely beyond the value of my own +life, is not putting it on a par with that of Manon.' This idea +soon decided me: I went on my way, resolved to go first to +Tiberge, and afterwards to M. de T----. + +"On entering Paris I took a hackney-coach, though I had not +wherewithal to pay for it; I calculated on the loan I was going +to solicit. I drove to the Luxembourg, whence I sent word to +Tiberge that I was waiting for him. I had not to stay many +minutes. I told him without hesitation the extremity of my +wants. He asked if the fifty pounds which I had returned to him +would suffice, and he at once went to fetch it with that generous +air, that pleasure in bestowing which `blesseth him that gives, +and him that takes,' and which can only be known to love or to +true friendship. + +"Although I had never entertained a doubt of Tiberge's readiness +to grant my request, yet I was surprised at having obtained it on +such easy terms, that is to say, without a word of reprimand for +my impenitence; but I was premature in fancying myself safe from +his reproaches, for when he had counted out the money, and I was +on the point of going away, he begged of me to take a walk with +him in the garden. I had not mentioned Manon's name; he knew +nothing of her escape; so that his lecture was merely upon my own +rash flight from St. Lazare, and upon his apprehensions lest, +instead of profiting by the lessons of morality which I had +received there, I should again relapse into dissipation. + +"He told me, that having gone to pay me a visit at St. Lazare, +the day after my escape, he had been astonished beyond expression +at hearing the mode in which I had effected it; that he had +afterwards a conversation with the Superior; that the good Father +had not quite recovered the shock; that he had, however, the +generosity to conceal the real circumstances from the +lieutenant-general of police, and that he had prevented the death +of the porter from becoming known outside the walls; that I had, +therefore, upon that score, no ground for alarm, but that, if I +retained one grain of prudence, I should profit by this happy +turn which Providence had given to my affairs, and begin by +writing to my father, and reconciling myself to his favour; and +finally that, if I would be guided by his advice, I should at +once quit Paris, and return to the bosom of my family. + +"I listened to him attentively till he had finished. There was +much in what he said to gratify me. In the first place, I was +delighted to learn that I had nothing to fear on account of St. +Lazare--the streets of Paris at least were again open to me. +Then I rejoiced to find that Tiberge had no suspicion of Manon's +escape, and her return to my arms. I even remarked that he had +not mentioned her name, probably from the idea that, by my +seeming indifference to her, she had become less dear to my +heart. I resolved, if not to return home, at least to write to +my father, as he advised me, and to assure him that I was +disposed to return to my duty, and consult his wishes. My +intention was to urge him to send me money for the purpose of +pursuing my ordinary studies at the University, for I should have +found it difficult to persuade him that I had any inclination to +resume my ecclesiastical habit. I was in truth not at all averse +to what I was now going to promise him. On the contrary, I was +ready to apply myself to some creditable and rational pursuit, so +far as the occupation would be compatible with my love. I +reckoned upon being able to live with my mistress, and at the +same time continuing my studies. I saw no inconsistency in this +plan. + +"These thoughts were so satisfactory to my mind, that I promised +Tiberge to dispatch a letter by that day's post to my father: in +fact, on leaving him, I went into a scrivener's, and wrote in +such a submissive and dutiful tone, that, on reading over my own +letter, I anticipated the triumph I was going to achieve over my +father's heart. + +"Although I had money enough to pay for a hackney-coach after my +interview with Tiberge, I felt a pleasure in walking +independently through the streets to M. de T----'s house. There +was great comfort in this unaccustomed exercise of my liberty, as +to which my friend had assured me I had nothing now to apprehend. +However, it suddenly occurred to me, that he had been only +referring to St. Lazare, and that I had the other affair of the +Hospital on my hands; being implicated, if not as an accomplice, +at all events as a witness. This thought alarmed me so much, +that I slipped down the first narrow street, and called a coach. +I went at once to M. de T----'s, and he laughed at my +apprehensions. I myself thought them ridiculous enough, when he +informed me that there was no more danger from Lescaut's affray, +than from the Hospital adventure. He told me that, from the fear +of their suspecting that he had a hand in Manon's escape, he had +gone that morning to the Hospital and asked to see her, +pretending not to know anything of what had happened; that they +were so far from entertaining the least suspicion of either of +us, that they lost no time in relating the adventure as a piece +of news to him; and that they wondered how so pretty a girl as +Manon Lescaut could have thought of eloping with a servant: that +he replied with seeming indifference, that it by no means +astonished him, for people would do anything for the sake of +liberty. + +"He continued to tell me how he then went to Lescaut's +apartments, in the hope of finding me there with my dear +mistress; that the master of the house, who was a coachmaker, +protested he had seen neither me nor Manon; but that it was no +wonder that we had not appeared there, if our object was to see +Lescaut, for that we must have doubtless heard of his having been +assassinated about the very same time; upon which, he related all +that he knew of the cause and circumstances of the murder. + +"About two hours previously, a guardsman of Lescaut's +acquaintance had come to see him, and proposed play. Lescaut had +such a rapid and extravagant run of luck, that in an hour the +young man was minus twelve hundred francs--all the money he had. +Finding himself without a sou, he begged of Lescaut to lend him +half the sum he had lost; and there being some difficulty on this +point, an angry quarrel arose between them. Lescaut had refused +to give him the required satisfaction, and the other swore, on +quitting him, that he would take his life; a threat which he +carried into execution the same night. M. de T---- was kind +enough to add, that he had felt the utmost anxiety on our +account, and that, such as they were, he should gladly continue +to us his services. I at once told him the place of our retreat. +He begged of me to allow him to sup with us. + +"As I had nothing more to do than to procure the linen and +clothes for Manon, I told him that we might start almost +immediately, if he would be so good as to wait for me a moment +while I went into one or two shops. I know not whether he +suspected that I made this proposition with the view of calling +his generosity into play, or whether it was by the mere impulse +of a kind heart; but, having consented to start immediately, he +took me to a shopkeeper, who had lately furnished his house. He +there made me select several articles of a much higher price than +I had proposed to myself; and when I was about paying the bill, +he desired the man not to take a sou from me. This he did so +gracefully, that I felt no shame in accepting his present. We +then took the road to Chaillot together, where I arrived much +more easy in mind than when I had left it that morning. + +"My return and the polite attentions of M. de T---- dispelled +all Manon's melancholy. `Let us forget our past annoyances, my +dear soul,' said I to her, `and endeavour to live a still happier +life than before. After all, there are worse masters than love: +fate cannot subject us to as much sorrow as love enables us to +taste of happiness.' Our supper was a true scene of joy. + +"In possession of Manon and of twelve hundred and fifty francs, +I was prouder and more contented than the richest voluptuary of +Paris with untold treasures. Wealth should be measured by the +means it affords us of satisfying our desires. There did not +remain to me at this moment a single wish unaccomplished. Even +the future gave me little concern. I felt a hope, amounting +almost to certainty, that my father would allow me the means of +living respectably in Paris, because I had become entitled, on +entering upon my twentieth year, to a share of my mother's +fortune. I did not conceal from Manon what was the extent of my +present wealth; but I added, that it might suffice to support us +until our fortune was bettered, either by the inheritance I have +just alluded to, or by the resources of the hazard-table. + + + +VIII + + +This Passion hath its floods in the very times of weakness, +which are great prosperity, and great adversity; both which +times kindle Love, and make it more fervent.--BACON. + + +"For several weeks I thus continued to think only of enjoying +the full luxury of my situation; and being restrained, by a sense +of honour, as well as a lurking apprehension of the police, from +renewing my intimacy with my former companions at the hotel of +Transylvania, I began to play in certain coteries less notorious, +where my good luck rendered it unnecessary for me to have +recourse to my former accomplishments. I passed a part of the +afternoon in town, and returned always to supper at Chaillot, +accompanied very often by M. de T----, whose intimacy and +friendship for us daily increased. + +"Manon soon found resources against ennui. She became +acquainted with some young ladies, whom the spring brought into +the neighbourhood. They occupied their leisure hours in walking, +and the customary amusements of persons of their sex and age. +Their little gains at cards (always within innocent limits) were +laid out in defraying the expense of a coach, in which they took +an airing occasionally in the Bois de Boulogne; and each night +when I returned, I was sure of finding Manon more beautiful--more +contented--more affectionate than ever. + +"There arose, however, certain clouds, which seemed to threaten +the continuance of this blissful tranquillity, but they were soon +dispelled; and Manon's sprightliness made the affair so +excessively comical in its termination, that it is even now +pleasing to recur to it, as a proof of the tenderness as well as +the cheerfulness of her disposition. + +"The only servant we had came to me one day, with great +embarrassment, and taking me aside, told me that he had a secret +of the utmost importance to communicate to me. I urged him to +explain himself without reserve. After some hesitation, he gave +me to understand that a foreigner of high rank had apparently +fallen in love with Manon. I felt my blood boil at the +announcement. `Has she shown any penchant for him?' I enquired, +interrupting my informant with more impatience than was +requisite, if I desired to have a full explanation. + +"He was alarmed at my excitement; and replied in an undecided +tone, that he had not made sufficiently minute observation to +satisfy me; but that, having noticed for several days together +the regular arrival of the stranger at the Bois de Boulogne, +where, quitting his carriage, he walked by himself in the +cross-avenues, appearing to seek opportunities of meeting Manon, +it had occurred to him to form an acquaintance with the servants, +in order to discover the name of their master; that they spoke of +him as an Italian prince, and that they also suspected he was +upon some adventure of gallantry. He had not been able to learn +anything further, he added, trembling as he spoke, because the +prince, then on the point of leaving the wood, had approached +him, and with the most condescending familiarity asked his name; +upon which, as if he at once knew that he was in our service, he +congratulated him on having, for his mistress, the most +enchanting person upon earth. + +"I listened to this recital with the greatest impatience. He +ended with the most awkward excuses, which I attributed to the +premature and imprudent display of my own agitation. In vain I +implored him to continue his history. He protested that he knew +nothing more, and that what he had previously told me, having +only happened the preceding day, he had not had a second +opportunity of seeing the prince's servants. I encouraged him, +not only with praises, but with a substantial recompense; and +without betraying the slightest distrust of Manon, I requested +him, in the mildest manner, to keep strict watch upon all the +foreigner's movements. + +"In truth, the effect of his fright was to leave me in a state +of the cruellest suspense. It was possible that she had ordered +him to suppress part of the truth. However, after a little +reflection, I recovered sufficiently from my fears to see the +manner in which I had exposed my weaknesses. I could hardly +consider it a crime in Manon to be loved. Judging from +appearances, it was probable that she was not even aware of her +conquest. `And what kind of life shall I in future lead,' +thought I, `if I am capable of letting jealousy so easily take +possession of my mind?' + +"I returned on the following day to Paris, with no other +intention than to hasten the improvement of my fortune, by +playing deeper than ever, in order to be in a condition to quit +Chaillot on the first real occasion for uneasiness. That night I +learned nothing at all calculated to trouble my repose. The +foreigner had, as usual, made his appearance in the Bois de +Boulogne; and venturing, from what had passed the preceding day, +to accost my servant more familiarly, he spoke to him openly of +his passion, but in such terms as not to lead to the slightest +suspicion of Manon's being aware of it. He put a thousand +questions to him, and at last tried to bribe him with large +promises; and taking a letter from his pocket, he in vain +entreated him, with the promise of some louis d'ors, to convey it +to her. + +"Two days passed without anything more occurring: the third was +of a different character. I learned on my arrival, later than +usual, from Paris, that Manon, while in the wood, had left her +companions for a moment, and that the foreigner, who had followed +her at a short distance, approached, upon her making him a sign, +and that she handed him a letter, which he took with a transport +of joy. He had only time to express his delight by kissing the +billet-doux, for she was out of sight in an instant. But she +appeared in unusually high spirits the remainder of the day; and +even after her return to our lodgings, her gaiety continued. I +trembled at every word. + +"`Are you perfectly sure,' said I, in an agony of fear, to my +servant, `that your eyes have not deceived you?' He called +Heaven to witness the truth of what he had told me. + +"I know not to what excess the torments of my mind would have +driven me, if Manon, who heard me come in, had not met me with an +air of impatience, and complained of my delay. Before I had time +to reply, she loaded me with caresses; and when she found we were +alone, she reproached me warmly with the habit I was contracting +of staying out so late. My silence gave her an opportunity of +continuing; and she then said that for the last three weeks I had +never spent one entire day in her society; that she could not +endure such prolonged absence; that she should at least expect me +to give up a day to her from time to time, and that she +particularly wished me to be with her on the following day from +morning till night. + +"`You may be very certain I shall do that,' said I, in rather a +sharp tone. She did not appear to notice my annoyance; she +seemed to me to have more than her usual cheerfulness; and she +described, with infinite pleasantry, the manner in which she had +spent the day. + +"`Incomprehensible girl!" said I to myself; `what am I to +expect after such a prelude?' The adventures of my first +separation occurred to me; nevertheless, I fancied I saw in her +cheerfulness, and the affectionate reception she gave me, an air +of truth that perfectly accorded with her professions. + +"It was an easy matter at supper to account for the low spirits +which I could not conceal, by attributing them to a loss I had +that day sustained at the gaming-table. I considered it most +fortunate that the idea of my remaining all the next day at +Chaillot was suggested by herself: I should thus have ample time +for deliberation. My presence would prevent any fears for at +least the next day; and if nothing should occur to compel me to +disclose the discovery I had already made, I was determined on +the following day to move my establishment into town, and fix +myself in a quarter where I should have nothing to apprehend from +the interference of princes. This arrangement made me pass the +night more tranquilly, but it by no means put an end to the alarm +I felt at the prospect of a new infidelity. + +"When I awoke in the morning, Manon said to me, that although we +were to pass the day at home, she did not at all wish that I +should be less carefully dressed than on other occasions; and +that she had a particular fancy for doing the duties of my +toilette that morning with her own hands. It was an amusement +she often indulged in: but she appeared to take more pains on +this occasion than I had ever observed before. To gratify her, I +was obliged to sit at her toilette table, and try all the +different modes she imagined for dressing my hair. In the course +of the operation, she made me often turn my head round towards +her, and putting both hands upon my shoulders, she would examine +me with most anxious curiosity: then, showing her approbation by +one or two kisses, she would make me resume my position before +the glass, in order to continue her occupation. + +"This amatory trifling engaged us till dinner-time. The +pleasure she seemed to derive from it, and her more than usual +gaiety, appeared to me so thoroughly natural, that I found it +impossible any longer to suspect the treason I had previously +conjured up; and I was several times on the point of candidly +opening my mind to her, and throwing off a load that had begun to +weigh heavily upon my heart: but I flattered myself with the hope +that the explanation would every moment come from herself, and I +anticipated the delicious triumph this would afford me. + +"We returned to her boudoir. She began again to put my hair in +order, and I humoured all her whims; when they came to say that +the Prince of ---- was below, and wished to see her. The name +alone almost threw me into a rage. + +"`What then,' exclaimed I, as I indignantly pushed her from me, +`who?--what prince?' + +"She made no answer to my enquiries. + +"`Show him upstairs,' said she coolly to the servant; and then +turning towards me, `Dearest love! you whom I so fervently +adore,' she added in the most bewitching tone, `I only ask of you +one moment's patience; one moment, one single moment! I will +love you ten thousand times more than ever: your compliance now +shall never, during my life, be forgotten.' + +"Indignation and astonishment deprived me of the power of +utterance. She renewed her entreaties, and I could not find +adequate expressions to convey my feelings of anger and contempt. +But hearing the door of the ante-chamber open, she grasped with +one hand my locks, which were floating over my shoulders, while +she took her toilette mirror in the other, and with all her +strength led me in this manner to the door of the boudoir, which +she opened with her knee, and presented to the foreigner, who had +been prevented by the noise he heard inside from advancing beyond +the middle of the ante-chamber, a spectacle that must have indeed +amazed him. I saw a man extremely well dressed, but with a +particularly ill-favoured countenance. + +"Notwithstanding his embarrassment, he made her a profound bow. +Manon gave him no time for speech-making; she held up the mirror +before him: `Look, sir,' said she to him, `observe yourself +minutely, and I only ask you then to do me justice. You wish me +to love you: this is the man whom I love, and whom I have sworn +to love during my whole life: make the comparison yourself. If +you think you can rival him in my affections, tell me at least +upon what pretensions; for I solemnly declare to you, that, in +the estimation of your most obedient humble servant, all the +princes in Italy are not worth a single one of the hairs I now +hold in my hand.' + +"During this whimsical harangue, which she had apparently +prepared beforehand, I tried in vain to disengage myself, and +feeling compassion for a person of such consideration, I was +desirous, by my politeness at least, of making some reparation +for this little outrage. But recovering his self-possession with +the ease of a man accustomed to the world, he put an end to my +feelings of pity by his reply, which was, in my opinion, rude +enough. + +"`Young lady! young lady!' said he to her, with a sardonic +smile, 'my eyes in truth are opened, and I perceive that you are +much less of a novice than I had pictured to myself.' + +"He immediately retired without looking at her again, muttering +to himself that the French women were quite as bad as those of +Italy. I felt little desire, on this occasion, to change his +opinion of the fair sex. + +"Manon let go my hand, threw herself into an armchair, and made +the room resound with her shouts of laughter. I candidly confess +that I was touched most sensibly by this unexpected proof of her +affection, and by the sacrifice of her own interest which I had +just witnessed, and which she could only have been induced to +make by her excessive love for me. Still, however, I could not +help thinking she had gone rather too far. I reproached her with +what I called her indiscretion. She told me that my rival, after +having besieged her for several days in the Bois de Boulogne, and +having made her comprehend his object by signs and grimaces, had +actually made an open declaration of love; informing her at the +same time of his name and all his titles, by means of a letter, +which he had sent through the hands of the coachman who drove her +and her companions; that he had promised her, on the other side +of the Alps, a brilliant fortune and eternal adoration; that she +returned to Chaillot, with the intention of relating to me the +whole adventure, but that, fancying it might be made a source of +amusement to us, she could not help gratifying her whim; that she +accordingly invited the Italian prince, by a flattering note, to +pay her a visit; and that it had afforded her equal delight to +make me an accomplice, without giving me the least suspicion of +her plan. I said not a word of the information I had received +through another channel; and the intoxication of triumphant love +made me applaud all she had done. + + + +IX + + +'Twas ever thus;--from childhood's hour + I've seen my fondest hopes decay;-- +I never loved a tree or flower, + But it was sure to fade away; +I never nursed a dear Gazelle, + To glad me with its dark-blue eye, +But, when it came to know me well, + And love me, it was sure to die. + +MOORE. + + +"During my life I have remarked that fate has invariably chosen +for the time of its severest visitations, those moments when my +fortune seemed established on the firmest basis. In the +friendship of M. de T----, and the tender affections of Manon, I +imagined myself so thoroughly happy, that I could not harbour the +slightest apprehension of any new misfortune: there was one, +nevertheless, at this very period impending, which reduced me to +the state in which you beheld me at Passy, and which eventually +brought in its train miseries of so deplorable a nature, that you +will have difficulty in believing the simple recital that follows. + +"One evening, when M. de T---- remained to sup with us, we heard +the sound of a carriage stopping at the door of the inn. +Curiosity tempted us to see who it was that arrived at this hour. +They told us it was young G---- M----, the son of our most +vindictive enemy, of that debauched old sinner who had +incarcerated me in St. Lazare, and Manon in the Hospital. His +name made the blood mount to my cheeks. `It is Providence that +has led him here,' said I to M. de T----, that I may punish him +for the cowardly baseness of his father. He shall not escape +without our measuring swords at least.' M. de T----, who knew +him, and was even one of his most intimate friends, tried to +moderate my feelings of anger towards him. He assured me that he +was a most amiable young man, and so little capable of +countenancing his father's conduct, that I could not be many +minutes in his society without feeling esteem and affection for +him. After saying many more things in his praise, he begged my +permission to invite him to come and sit in our apartment, as +well as to share the remainder of our supper. As to the +objection of Manon being exposed by this proceeding to any +danger, he pledged his honour and good faith, that when once the +young man became acquainted with us, we should find in him a most +zealous defender. After such an assurance, I could offer no +further opposition. + +"M. de T---- did not introduce him without delaying a few +moments outside, to let him know who we were. He certainly came +in with an air that prepossessed us in his favour: he shook hands +with me; we sat down; he admired Manon; he appeared pleased with +me, and with everything that belonged to us; and he ate with an +appetite that did abundant honour to our hospitality. + +"When the table was cleared, our conversation became more +serious. He hung down his head while he spoke of his father's +conduct towards us. He made, on his own part, the most submissive +excuses. `I say the less upon the subject,' said he, `because I +do not wish to recall a circumstance that fills me with grief and +shame.' If he were sincere in the beginning, he became much more +so in the end, for the conversation had not lasted half an hour, +when I perceived that Manon's charms had made a visible +impression upon him. His looks and his manner became by degrees +more tender. He, however, allowed no expression to escape him; +but, without even the aid of jealousy, I had had experience +enough in love affairs to discern what was passing. + +"He remained with us till a late hour in the night, and before +he took his leave, congratulated himself on having made our +acquaintance, and begged permission to call and renew the offer +of his services. He went off next morning with M. de T----, who +accepted the offer of a seat in his carriage. + +"I felt, as I before said, not the slightest symptom of jealousy +I had a more foolish confidence than ever in Manon's vows. This +dear creature had so absolute a dominion over my whole soul and +affections, that I could give place to no other sentiment towards +her than that of admiration and love. Far from considering it a +crime that she should have pleased young G---- M----, I was +gratified by the effect of her charms, and experienced only a +feeling of pride in being loved by a girl whom the whole world +found so enchanting. I did not even deem it worth while to +mention my suspicions to her. We were for some days occupied in +arranging her new wardrobe, and in considering whether we might +venture to the theatre without the risk of being recognised. M. +de T---- came again to see us before the end of the week, and we +consulted him upon this point. He saw clearly that the way to +please Manon was to say yes: we resolved to go all together that +same evening. + +"We were not able, however, to carry this intention into effect; +for, having taken me aside, `I have been in the greatest +embarrassment,' said he to me, `since I saw you, and that is the +cause of my visiting you today. G---- M---- is in love with your +mistress: he told me so in confidence; I am his intimate friend, +and disposed to do him any service in my power; but I am not less +devoted to you; his designs appeared to me unjustifiable, and I +expressed my disapprobation of them; I should not have divulged +his secret, if he had only intended to use fair and ordinary +means for gaining Manon's affections; but he is aware of her +capricious disposition; he has learned, God knows how, that her +ruling passion is for affluence and pleasure; and, as he is +already in possession of a considerable fortune, he declared his +intention of tempting her at once with a present of great value, +and the offer of an annuity of six thousand francs; if I had in +all other points considered you both in an equal light, I should +have had perhaps to do more violence to my feelings in betraying +him: but a sense of justice as well as of friendship was on your +side, and the more so from having been myself the imprudent, +though unconscious, cause of his passion in introducing him here. +I feel it my duty therefore to avert any evil consequences from +the mischief I have inadvertently caused. + +"I thanked M. de T---- for rendering me so important a service, +and confessed to him, in a like spirit of confidence, that +Manon's disposition was precisely what G---- M---- had imagined; +that is to say, that she was incapable of enduring even the +thought of poverty. `However,' said I to him, `when it is a mere +question of more or less, I do not believe that she would give me +up for any other person; I can afford to let her want for +nothing, and I have from day to day reason to hope that my +fortune will improve; I only dread one thing,' continued I, +`which is, that G---- M---- may take unfair advantage of the +knowledge he has of our place of residence, and bring us into +trouble by disclosing it.' + +"M. de T---- assured me that I might be perfectly easy upon that +head; that G---- M---- might be capable of a silly passion, but +not of an act of baseness; that if he ever could be villain +enough for such a thing, he, de T----, would be the first to +punish him, and by that means make reparation for the mischief he +had occasioned. `I feel grateful for what you say,' said I, `but +the mischief will have been all done, and the remedy even seems +doubtful; the wisest plan therefore will be to quit Chaillot, and +go to reside elsewhere.' `Very true,' said M. de T----, `but you +will not be able to do it quickly enough, for G---- M---- is to +be here at noon; he told me so yesterday, and it was that +intelligence that made me come so early this morning to inform +you of his intentions. You may expect him every moment.'" + +"The urgency of the occasion made me view this matter in a more +serious light. As it seemed to me impossible to escape the visit +of G---- M----, and perhaps equally so to prevent him from making +his declaration to Manon, I resolved to tell her beforehand of +the designs of my new rival. I fancied that when she knew I was +aware of the offers that would be made to her, and made probably +in my presence, she would be the more likely to reject them. I +told M. de T---- of my intention, and he observed that he thought +it a matter of extreme delicacy. `I admit it,' said I, `but no +man ever had more reason for confiding in a mistress, than I have +for relying on the affection of mine. The only thing that could +possibly for a moment blind her, is the splendour of his offers; +no doubt she loves her ease, but she loves me also; and in my +present circumstances, I cannot believe that she would abandon me +for the son of the man who had incarcerated her in the Magdalen.' +In fine, I persisted in my intentions, and taking Manon aside, I +candidly told her what I had learned. + +"She thanked me for the good opinion I entertained of her, and +promised to receive G---- M----'s offers in a way that should +prevent a repetition of them. `No,' said I, `you must not +irritate him by incivility: he has it in his power to injure us. +But you know well enough, you little rogue,' continued I, +smiling, `how to rid yourself of a disagreeable or useless +lover!' After a moment's pause she said: `I have just thought +of an admirable plan, and I certainly have a fertile invention. +G---- M---- is the son of our bitterest enemy: we must avenge +ourselves on the father, not through the son's person, but +through his purse. My plan is to listen to his proposals, accept +his presents, and then laugh at him.' + +"`The project is not a bad one,' said I to her; `but you +forget, my dear child, that it is precisely the same course that +conducted us formerly to the penitentiary.' I represented to her +the danger of such an enterprise; she replied, that the only +thing necessary was to take our measures with caution, and she +found an answer to every objection I started. `Show me the lover +who does not blindly humour every whim of an adored mistress, and +I will then allow that I was wrong in yielding so easily on this +occasion.' The resolution was taken to make a dupe of G----M----, +and by an unforeseen and unlucky turn of fortune, I became +the victim myself. + +"About eleven o'clock his carriage drove up to the door. He +made the most complaisant and refined speeches upon the liberty +he had taken of coming to dine with us uninvited. He was not +surprised at meeting M. de T----, who had the night before +promised to meet him there, and who had, under some pretext or +other, refused a seat in his carriage. Although there was not a +single person in the party who was not at heart meditating +treachery, we all sat down with an air of mutual confidence and +friendship. G---- M---- easily found an opportunity of declaring +his sentiments to Manon. I did not wish to annoy him by +appearing vigilant, so I left the room purposely for several +minutes. + +"I perceived on my return that he had not had to encounter any +very discouraging austerity on Manon's part, for he was in the +best possible spirits. I affected good humour also. He was +laughing in his mind at my simplicity, while I was not less +diverted by his own. During the whole evening we were thus +supplying to each other an inexhaustible fund of amusement. I +contrived, before his departure, to let him have Manon for +another moment to himself; so that he had reason to applaud my +complaisance, as well as the hospitable reception I had given +him. + +"As soon as he got into his carriage with M. de T----, Manon ran +towards me with extended arms, and embraced me; laughing all the +while immoderately. She repeated all his speeches and proposals, +without altering a word. This was the substance: He of course +adored her; and wished to share with her a large fortune of which +he was already in possession, without counting what he was to +inherit at his father's death. She should be sole mistress of +his heart and fortune; and as an immediate token of his +liberality, he was ready at once to supply her with an equipage, +a furnished house, a lady's maid, three footmen, and a man-cook. + +"`There is indeed a son,' said I, `very different from his father! +But tell me truly, now, does not such an offer tempt you?' +`Me!' she replied, adapting to the idea two verses from Racine-- + + +Moi! vous me soupconnez de cette perfidie? +Moi! je pourrais souffrir un visage odieux, +Qui rappelle toujours l'Hopital a mes yeux? + + +`No I' replied I, continuing the parody-- + + +J'aurais peine a penser que l'Hopital, madame, +Fut un trait dont l'amour l'eut grave dans votre ame. + + +`But it assuredly is a temptation--a furnished house, a lady's +maid, a cook, a carriage, and three servants--gallantry can offer +but few more seductive temptations.' + +"She protested that her heart was entirely mine, and that it was +for the future only open to the impressions I chose to make upon +it. `I look upon his promises,' said she, `as an instrument for +revenge, rather than as a mark of love.' I asked her if she +thought of accepting the hotel and the carriage. She replied +that his money was all she wanted. + +The difficulty was, how to obtain the one without the other; we +resolved to wait for a detailed explanation of the whole project +in a letter which G---- M---- promised to write to her, and which +in fact she received next morning by a servant out of livery, +who, very cleverly, contrived an opportunity of speaking to her +alone. + +She told him to wait for an answer, and immediately brought the +letter to me: we opened it together. + +"Passing over the usual commonplace expressions of tenderness, +it gave a particular detail of my rival's promises. There were +no limits to the expense. He engaged to pay her down ten +thousand francs on her taking possession of the hotel, and to +supply her expenditure in such a way as that she should never +have less than that sum at her command. The appointed day for +her entering into possession was close at hand. He only required +two days for all his preparations, and he mentioned the name of +the street and the hotel, where he promised to be in waiting for +her in the afternoon of the second day, if she could manage to +escape my vigilance. That was the only point upon which he +begged of her to relieve his uneasiness; he seemed to be quite +satisfied upon every other: but he added that, if she apprehended +any difficulty in escaping from me, he could find sure means for +facilitating her flight. + +"G---- M---- the younger was more cunning than the old +gentleman. He wanted to secure his prey before he counted out +the cash. We considered what course Manon should adopt. I made +another effort to induce her to give up the scheme, and strongly +represented all its dangers; nothing, however, could shake her +determination. + +"Her answer to G---- M---- was brief, merely assuring him that +she could be, without the least difficulty, in Paris on the +appointed day and that he might expect her with certainty. + +"We then resolved, that I should instantly hire lodgings in some +village on the other side of Paris, and that I should take our +luggage with me; that in the afternoon of the following day, +which was the time appointed, she should go to Paris; that, after +receiving G---- M----'s presents, she should earnestly entreat +him to take her to the theatre; that she should carry with her as +large a portion of the money as she could, and charge my servant +with the remainder, for it was agreed that he was to accompany +her. He was the man who had rescued her from the Magdalen, and +he was devotedly attached to us. I was to be with a +hackney-coach at the end of the street of St. Andre-des-arcs, and +to leave it there about seven o'clock, while I stole, under cover +of the twilight, to the door of the theatre. Manon promised to +make some excuse for quitting her box for a moment, when she +would come down and join me. The rest could be easily done. We +were then to return to my hackney-coach, and quit Paris by the +Faubourg St. Antoine, which was the road to our new residence. + +"This plan, extravagant as it was, appeared to us satisfactorily +arranged. But our greatest folly was in imagining that, succeed +as we might in its execution, it would be possible for us to +escape the consequences. Nevertheless, we exposed ourselves to +all risk with the blindest confidence. Manon took her departure +with Marcel--so was the servant called. I could not help feeling +a pang as she took leave of me. `Manon,' said I, `do not deceive +me; will you be faithful to me?' She complained, in the +tenderest tone, of my want of confidence, and renewed all her +protestations of eternal love. + +"She was to be in Paris at three o'clock. I went some time +after. I spent the remainder of the afternoon moping in the Cafe +de Fere, near the Pont St. Michel. I remained there till +nightfall. I then hired a hackney-coach, which I placed, +according to our plan, at the end of the street of St. +Andre-des-arcs, and went on foot to the door of the theatre. I +was surprised at not seeing Marcel, who was to have been there +waiting for me. I waited patiently for a full hour, standing +among a crowd of lackeys, and gazing at every person that passed. +At length, seven o'clock having struck, without my being able to +discover anything or any person connected with our project, I +procured a pit ticket, in order to ascertain if Manon and G---- +M---- were in the boxes. Neither one nor the other could I find. +I returned to the door, where I again stopped for a quarter of an +hour, in an agony of impatience and uneasiness. No person +appeared, and I went back to the coach, without knowing what to +conjecture. The coachman, seeing me, advanced a few paces +towards me, and said, with a mysterious air, that a very handsome +young person had been waiting more than an hour for me in the +coach; that she described me so exactly that he could not be +mistaken, and having learned that I intended to return, she said +she would enter the coach and wait with patience. + +"I felt confident that it was Manon. I approached. I beheld +a very pretty face, certainly, but alas, not hers. The lady +asked, in a voice that I had never before heard, whether she had +the honour of speaking to the Chevalier des Grieux? I answered, +`That is my name.' `I have a letter for you,' said she, `which +will tell you what has brought me here, and by what means I +learned your name.' I begged she would allow me a few moments to +read it in an adjoining cafe. She proposed to follow me, and +advised me to ask for a private room, to which I consented. `Who +is the writer of this letter?' I enquired. She referred me to +the letter itself. + +"I recognised Manon's hand. This is nearly the substance of the +letter: G---- M---- had received her with a politeness and +magnificence beyond anything she had previously conceived. He +had loaded her with the most gorgeous presents. She had the +prospect of almost imperial splendour. She assured me, however, +that she could not forget me amidst all this magnificence; but +that, not being able to prevail on G---- M---- to take her that +evening to the play, she was obliged to defer the pleasure of +seeing me; and that, as a slight consolation for the +disappointment which she feared this might cause me, she had +found a messenger in one of the loveliest girls in all Paris. +She signed herself, `Your loving and constant, MANON LESCAUT.' + +"There was something so cruel and so insulting in the letter, +that, what between indignation and grief, I resolutely determined +to forget eternally my ungrateful and perjured mistress. I +looked at the young woman who stood before me: she was +exceedingly pretty, and I could have wished that she had been +sufficiently so to render me inconstant in my turn. But there +were wanting those lovely and languishing eyes, that divine +gracefulness, that exquisite complexion, in fine, those +innumerable charms which nature had so profusely lavished upon +the perfidious Manon. `No, no,' said I, turning away from her; +`the ungrateful wretch who sent you knew in her heart that she +was sending you on a useless errand. Return to her; and tell her +from me, to triumph in her crime, and enjoy it, if she can, +without remorse. I abandon her in despair, and, at the same +time, renounce all women, who, without her fascination, are no +doubt her equals in baseness and infidelity.' + +"I was then on the point of going away, determined never to +bestow another thought on Manon: the mortal jealousy that was +racking my heart lay concealed under a dark and sullen +melancholy, and I fancied, because I felt none of those violent +emotions which I had experienced upon former occasions, that I +had shaken off my thraldom. Alas! I was even at that moment +infinitely more the dupe of love, than of G---- M---- and Manon. + +"The girl who had brought the letter, seeing me about to depart, +asked me what I wished her to say to M. G---- M----, and to the +lady who was with him? At this question, I stepped back again +into the room, and by one of those unaccountable transitions that +are only known to the victims of violent passion, I passed in an +instant from the state of subdued tranquillity which I have just +described, into an ungovernable fury `Away!' said I to her, `tell +the traitor G---- M----and his abandoned mistress the state of +despair into which your accursed mission has cast me; but warn +them that it shall not be long a source of amusement to them, and +that my own hands shall be warmed with the heart's blood of +both!' I sank back upon a chair; my hat fell on one side, and my +cane upon the other: torrents of bitter tears rolled down my +cheeks. The paroxysm of rage changed into a profound and silent +grief: I did nothing but weep and sigh. `Approach, my child, +approach,' said I to the young girl; `approach, since it is you +they have sent to bring me comfort; tell me whether you have any +balm to administer for the pangs of despair and rage--any +argument to offer against the crime of self-destruction, which I +have resolved upon, after ridding the world of two perfidious +monsters. Yes, approach,' continued I, perceiving that she +advanced with timid and doubtful steps; `come and dry my sorrows; +come and restore peace to my mind; come and tell me that at least +you love me: you are handsome--I may perhaps love you in return.' +The poor child, who was only sixteen or seventeen years of age, +and who appeared more modest than girls of her class generally +are, was thunderstruck at this unusual scene. She however gently +approached to caress me, when with uplifted hands I rudely +repulsed her. `What do you wish with me?' exclaimed I to her. +`Ah! you are a woman, and of a sex I abhor, and can no longer +tolerate; the very gentleness of your look threatens me with some +new treason. Go, leave me here alone!' She made me a curtsy +without uttering a word, and turned to go out. I called to her +to stop: `Tell me at least,' said I, `wherefore-- how--with what +design they sent you here? how did you discover my name, or the +place where you could find me?' + +"She told me that she had long known M. G---- M----; that he had +sent for her that evening about five o'clock; and that, having +followed the servant who had been dispatched to her, she was +shown into a large house, where she found him playing at picquet +with a beautiful young woman; and that they both charged her to +deliver the letter into my hands, after telling her that she +would find me in a hackney-coach at the bottom of the street of +St. Andre. I asked if they had said nothing more. She blushed +while she replied, that they had certainly made her believe that +I should be glad of her society. `They have deceived you too,' +said I, `my poor girl--they have deceived you; you are a woman, +and probably wish for a lover; but you must find one who is rich +and happy, and it is not here you will find him. Return, return +to M. G---- M----; he possesses everything requisite to make a +man beloved. He has furnished houses and equipages to bestow, +while I, who have nothing but constancy of love to offer, am +despised for my poverty, and laughed at for my simplicity.' + +"I continued in a tone of sorrow or violence, as these feelings +alternately took possession of my mind. However, by the very +excess of my agitation, I became gradually so subdued as to be +able calmly to reflect upon the situation of affairs. I compared +this new misfortune with those which I had already experienced of +the same kind, and I could not perceive that there was any more +reason for despair now, than upon former occasions. I knew +Manon: why then distress myself on account of a calamity which I +could not but have plainly foreseen? Why not rather think of +seeking a remedy? there was yet time; I at least ought not to +spare my own exertions, if I wished to avoid the bitter reproach +of having contributed, by my own indolence, to my misery. I +thereupon set about considering every means of raising a gleam of +hope. + +"To attempt to take her by main force from the hands of +G----M---- was too desperate a project, calculated only to ruin +me, and without the slightest probability of succeeding. But it +seemed to me that if I could ensure a moment's interview with +her, I could not fail to regain my influence over her affections. +I so well knew how to excite her sensibilities! I was so +confident of her love for me! The very whim even of sending me a +pretty woman by way of consoling me, I would stake my existence, +was her idea, and that it was the suggestion of her own sincere +sympathy for my sufferings. + +"I resolved to exert every nerve to procure an interview. After +a multitude of plans which I canvassed one after another, I fixed +upon the following: M. de T---- had shown so much sincerity in +the services he had rendered me, that I could not entertain a +doubt of his zeal and good faith. I proposed to call upon him at +once, and make him send for G---- M----, under pretence of some +important business. Half an hour would suffice to enable me to +see Manon. I thought it would not be difficult to get introduced +into her apartment during G---- M----'s absence. + +"This determination pacified me, and I gave a liberal present to +the girl, who was still with me; and in order to prevent her from +returning to those who had sent her, I took down her address, and +half promised to call upon her at a later hour. I then got into +the hackney-coach, and drove quickly to M. de T----'s. I was +fortunate enough to find him at home. I had been apprehensive +upon this point as I went along. A single sentence put him in +possession of the whole case, as well of my sufferings, as of the +friendly service I had come to supplicate at his hands. + +"He was so astonished to learn that G---- M---- had been able to +seduce Manon from me, that, not being aware that I had myself +lent a hand to my own misfortune, he generously offered to +assemble his friends, and evoke their aid for the deliverance of +my mistress. I told him that such a proceeding might by its +publicity be attended with danger to Manon and to me. `Let us +risk our lives,' said I, `only as a last resource. My plan is of +a more peaceful nature, and promising at least equal success.' +He entered without a murmur into all that I proposed; so again +stating that all I required was, that he should send for G---- +M----, and contrive to keep him an hour or two from home, we at +once set about our operations. + +"We first of all considered what expedient we could make use of +for keeping him out so long a time. I proposed that he should +write a note dated from a cafe, begging of him to come there as +soon as possible upon an affair of too urgent importance to admit +of delay. `I will watch,' added I, `the moment he quits the +house, and introduce myself without any difficulty, being only +known to Manon, and my servant Marcel. You can at the same time +tell G---- M----, that the important affair upon which you +wished to see him was the immediate want of a sum of money; that +you had just emptied your purse at play, and that you had played +on, with continued bad luck, upon credit. He will require some +time to take you to his father's house, where he keeps his money, +and I shall have quite sufficient for the execution of my plan.' + +"M. de T---- minutely adhered to these directions. I left him +in a cafe, where he at once wrote his letter. I took my station +close by Manon's house. I saw de T----'s messenger arrive, and +G---- M---- come out the next moment, followed by a servant. +Allowing him barely time to get out of the street, I advanced to +my deceiver's door, and notwithstanding the anger I felt, I +knocked with as much respect as at the portal of a church. +Fortunately it was Marcel who opened for me. Although I had +nothing to apprehend from the other servants, I asked him in a +low voice if he could conduct me unseen into the room in which +Manon was. He said that was easily done, by merely ascending the +great staircase. `Come then at once,' said I to him, `and +endeavour to prevent anyone from coming up while I am there.' I +reached the apartment without any difficulty. + +"Manon was reading. I had there an opportunity of admiring the +singular character of this girl. Instead of being nervous or +alarmed at my appearance, she scarcely betrayed a symptom of +surprise, which few persons, however indifferent, could restrain, +on seeing one whom they imagined to be far distant. `Ah! it is +you, my dear love,' said she, approaching to embrace me with her +usual tenderness. `Good heavens, how venturesome and foolhardy +you are! Who could have expected to see you in this place!' +Instead of embracing her in return, I repulsed her with +indignation, and retreated two or three paces from her. This +evidently disconcerted her. She remained immovable, and fixed +her eyes on me, while she changed colour. + +"I was in reality so delighted to behold her once more, that, +with so much real cause for anger, I could hardly bring my lips +to upbraid her. My heart, however, felt the cruel outrage she +had inflicted upon me. I endeavoured to revive the recollection +of it in my own mind, in order to excite my feelings, and put on +a look of stern indignation. I remained silent for a few +moments, when I remarked that she observed my agitation, and +trembled: apparently the effect of her fears. + +"I could not longer endure this spectacle. `Ah! Manon,' said I +to her in the mildest tone, `faithless and perjured Manon! How +am I to complain of your conduct? I see you pale and trembling, +and I am still so much alive to your slightest sufferings, that I +am unwilling to add to them by my reproaches. But, Manon, I tell +you that my heart is pierced with sorrow at your treatment of +me--treatment that is seldom inflicted but with the purpose of +destroying one's life. This is the third time, Manon; I have +kept a correct account; it is impossible to forget that. It is +now for you to consider what course you will adopt; for my +afflicted heart is no longer capable of sustaining such shocks. +I know and feel that it must give way, and it is at this moment +ready to burst with grief. I can say no more,' added I, throwing +myself into a chair; `I have hardly strength to speak, or to +support myself.' + +"She made me no reply; but when I was seated, she sank down upon +her knees, and rested her head upon my lap, covering her face +with her hands. I perceived in a moment that she was shedding +floods of tears. Heavens! with what conflicting sensations was I +at that instant agitated! `Ah! Manon, Manon,' said I, sighing, +`it is too late to give me tears after the death-blow you have +inflicted. You affect a sorrow which you cannot feel. The +greatest of your misfortunes is no doubt my presence, which has +been always an obstacle to your happiness. Open your eyes; look +up and see who it is that is here; you will not throw away tears +of tenderness upon an unhappy wretch whom you have betrayed and +abandoned.' + +"She kissed my hands without changing her position. `Inconstant +Manon,' said I again, `ungrateful and faithless girl, where now +are all your promises and your vows? Capricious and cruel that +you are! what has now become of the love that you protested for +me this very day? Just Heavens,' added I, `is it thus you permit +a traitor to mock you, after having called you so solemnly to +witness her vows! Recompense and reward then are for the +perjured! Despair and neglect are the lot of fidelity and +truth!' + +"These words conveyed even to my own mind a sentiment so +bitterly severe, that, in spite of myself, some tears escaped +from me. Manon perceived this by the change in my voice. She at +length spoke. `I must have indeed done something most culpable,' +said she, sobbing with grief, `to have excited and annoyed you to +this degree; but, I call Heaven to attest my utter +unconsciousness of crime, and my innocence of all criminal +intention!' + +"This speech struck me as so devoid of reason and of truth, that +I could not restrain a lively feeling of anger. `Horrible +hypocrisy!' cried I; `I see more plainly than ever that you are +dishonest and treacherous. Now at length I learn your wretched +disposition. Adieu, base creature,' said I, rising from my seat; +`I would prefer death a thousand times rather than continue to +hold the slightest communication with you. May Heaven punish me, +if I ever again waste upon you the smallest regard! Live on with +your new lover--renounce all feelings of honour--detest me--your +love is now a matter to me of utter insignificance!' + +"Manon was so terrified by the violence of my anger, that, +remaining on her knees by the chair from which I had just before +risen, breathless and trembling, she fixed her eyes upon me. I +advanced a little farther towards the door, but, unless I had +lost the last spark of humanity, I could not continue longer +unmoved by such a spectacle. + +"So far, indeed, was I from this kind of stoical indifference, +that, rushing at once into the very opposite extreme, I returned, +or rather flew back to her without an instant's reflection. I +lifted her in my arms; I gave her a thousand tender kisses; I +implored her to pardon my ungovernable temper; I confessed that I +was an absolute brute, and unworthy of being loved by such an +angel. + +"I made her sit down, and throwing myself, in my turn, upon my +knees, I conjured her to listen to me in that attitude. Then I +briefly expressed all that a submissive and impassioned lover +could say most tender and respectful. I supplicated her pardon. +She let her arms fall over my neck, as she said that it was she +who stood in need of forgiveness, and begged of me in mercy to +forget all the annoyances she had caused me, and that she began, +with reason, to fear that I should not approve of what she had to +say in her justification. `Me!' said I interrupting her +impatiently; `I require no justification; I approve of all you +have done. It is not for me to demand excuses for anything you +do; I am but too happy, too contented, if my dear Manon will only +leave me master of her affections! But,' continued I, +remembering that it was the crisis of my fate, `may I not, Manon, +all-powerful Manon, you who wield at your pleasure my joys and +sorrows, may I not be permitted, after having conciliated you by +my submission and all the signs of repentance, to speak to you +now of my misery and distress? May I now learn from your own +lips what my destiny is to be, and whether you are resolved to +sign my death-warrant, by spending even a single night with my +rival?' + +"She considered a moment before she replied. `My good +chevalier,' said she, resuming the most tranquil tone, `if you +had only at first explained yourself thus distinctly, you would +have spared yourself a world of trouble, and prevented a scene +that has really annoyed me. Since your distress is the result of +jealousy, I could at first have cured that by offering to +accompany you where you pleased. But I imagined it was caused by +the letter which I was obliged to write in the presence of G---- +M----, and of the girl whom we sent with it. I thought you might +have construed that letter into a mockery; and have fancied that, +by sending such a messenger, I meant to announce my abandonment +of you for the sake of G---- M----. It was this idea that at +once overwhelmed me with grief; for, innocent as I knew myself to +be, I could not but allow that appearances were against me. +However,' continued she, `I will leave you to judge of my +conduct, after I shall have explained the whole truth.' + +"She then told me all that had occurred to her after joining +G---- M----, whom she found punctually awaiting her arrival. He +had in fact received her in the most princely style. He showed +her through all the apartments, which were fitted up in the +neatest and most correct taste. He had counted out to her in her +boudoir ten thousand francs, as well as a quantity of jewels, +amongst which were the identical pearl necklace and bracelets +which she had once before received as a present from his father. +He then led her into a splendid room, which she had not before +seen, and in which an exquisite collation was served; she was +waited upon by the new servants, whom he had hired purposely for +her, and whom he now desired to consider themselves as +exclusively her attendants; the carriage and the horses were +afterwards paraded, and he then proposed a game of cards, until +supper should be announced. + +"`I acknowledge,' continued Manon, `that I was dazzled by all +this magnificence. It struck me that it would be madness to +sacrifice at once so many good things for the mere sake of +carrying off the money and the jewels already in my possession; +that it was a certain fortune made for both you and me, and that +we might pass the remainder of our lives most agreeably and +comfortably at the expense of G---- M----. + +"`Instead of proposing the theatre, I thought it more prudent +to sound his feelings with regard to you, in order to ascertain +what facilities we should have for meeting in future, on the +supposition that I could carry my project into effect. I found +him of a most tractable disposition. He asked me how I felt +towards you, and if I had not experienced some compunction at +quitting you. I told him that you were so truly amiable, and had +ever treated me with such undeviating kindness, that it was +impossible I could hate you. He admitted that you were a man of +merit, and expressed an ardent desire to gain your friendship. + +"`He was anxious to know how I thought you would take my +elopement, particularly when you should learn that I was in his +hands. I answered, that our love was of such long standing as to +have had time to moderate a little; that, besides, you were not +in very easy circumstances, and would probably not consider my +departure as any severe misfortune, inasmuch as it would relieve +you from a burden of no very insignificant nature. I added that, +being perfectly convinced you would take the whole matter +rationally, I had not hesitated to tell you that I had some +business in Paris; but you had at once consented, and that having +accompanied me yourself, you did not seem very uneasy when we +separated. + +"`If I thought,' said he to me, 'that he could bring himself to +live on good terms with me, I should be too happy to make him a +tender of my services and attentions.' I assured him that, from +what I knew of your disposition, I had no doubt you would +acknowledge his kindness in a congenial spirit: especially, I +added, if he could assist you in your affairs, which had become +embarrassed since your disagreement with your family. He +interrupted me by declaring, that he would gladly render you any +service in his power, and that if you were disposed to form a new +attachment, he would introduce you to an extremely pretty woman, +whom he had just given up for me. + +"`I approved of all he said,' she added, `for fear of exciting +any suspicions; and being more and more satisfied of the +feasibility of my scheme, I only longed for an opportunity of +letting you into it, lest you should be alarmed at my not keeping +my appointment. With this view I suggested the idea of sending +this young lady to you, in order to have an opportunity of +writing; I was obliged to have recourse to this plan, because I +could not see a chance of his leaving me to myself for a moment.' + +"`He was greatly amused with my proposition; he called his +valet, and asking him whether he could immediately find his late +mistress, he dispatched him at once in search of her. He +imagined that she would have to go to Chaillot to meet you, but I +told him that, when we parted, I promised to meet you again at +the theatre, or that, if anything should prevent me from going +there, you were to wait for me in a coach at the end of the +street of St. Andre; that consequently it would be best to send +your new love there, if it were only to save you from the misery +of suspense during the whole night. I said it would be also +necessary to write you a line of explanation, without which you +would probably be puzzled by the whole transaction. He +consented; but I was obliged to write in his presence; and I took +especial care not to explain matters too palpably in my letter. + +"`This is the history,' said Manon, `of the entire affair. I +conceal nothing from you, of either my conduct or my intentions. +The girl arrived; I thought her handsome; and as I doubted not +that you would be mortified by my absence, I did most sincerely +hope that she would be able to dissipate something of your ennui: +for it is the fidelity of the heart alone that I value. I should +have been too delighted to have sent Marcel, but I could not for +a single instant find an opportunity of telling him what I wished +to communicate to you.' She finished her story by describing the +embarrassment into which M. de T----'s letter had thrown G---- +M----; `he hesitated,' said she, `about leaving, and assured me +that he should not be long absent; and it is on this account that +I am uneasy at seeing you here, and that I betrayed, at your +appearance, some slight feeling of surprise.' + +"I listened to her with great patience. There were certainly +parts of her recital sufficiently cruel and mortifying; for the +intention, at least, of the infidelity was so obvious, that she +had not even taken the trouble to disguise it. She could never +have imagined that G---- M---- meant to venerate her as a vestal. +She must therefore clearly have made up her mind to pass at least +one night with him. What an avowal for a lover's ears! However, +I considered myself as partly the cause of her guilt, by having +been the first to let her know G---- M----'s sentiments towards +her, and by the silly readiness with which I entered into this +rash project. Besides, by a natural bent of my mind, peculiar I +believe to myself, I was duped by the ingenuousness of her +story--by that open and winning manner with which she related +even the circumstances most calculated to annoy me. `There is +nothing of wanton vice,' said I to myself, `in her +transgressions; she is volatile and imprudent, but she is sincere +and affectionate.' My love alone rendered me blind to all her +faults. I was enchanted at the prospect of rescuing her that +very night from my rival. I said to her: `With whom do you mean +to pass the night?' She was evidently disconcerted by the +question, and answered me in an embarrassed manner with BUTS and +IFS. + +"I felt for her, and interrupted her by saying that I at once +expected her to accompany me. + +"`Nothing can give me more pleasure,' said she; `but you don't +approve then of my project?' + +"`Is it not enough,' replied I, `that I approve of all that you +have, up to this moment, done?' + +"`What,' said she, `are we not even to take the ten thousand +francs with us? Why, he gave me the money; it is mine.' + +"I advised her to leave everything, and let us think only of +escaping for although I had been hardly half an hour with her, I +began to dread the return of G---- M----. However, she so +earnestly urged me to consent to our going out with something in +our pockets, that I thought myself bound to make her, on my part, +some concession, in return for all she yielded to me. + +"While we were getting ready for our departure, I heard someone +knock at the street door. I felt convinced that it must be G---- +M----; and in the heat of the moment, I told Manon, that as sure +as he appeared I would take his life. In truth, I felt that I +was not sufficiently recovered from my late excitement to be able +to restrain my fury if I met him. Marcel put an end to my +uneasiness, by handing me a letter which he had received for me +at the door; it was from M. de T----. + +"He told me that, as G---- M---- had gone to his father's house +for the money which he wanted, he had taken advantage of his +absence to communicate to me an amusing idea that had just come +into his head; that it appeared to him, I could not possibly take +a more agreeable revenge upon my rival, than by eating his +supper, and spending the night in the very bed which he had hoped +to share with my mistress; all this seemed to him easy enough, if +I could only find two or three men upon whom I could depend, of +courage sufficient to stop him in the street, and detain him in +custody until next morning; that he would undertake to keep him +occupied for another hour at least, under some pretext, which he +could devise before G---- M----'s return. + +"I showed the note to Manon; I told her at the same time of the +manner in which I had procured the interview with her. My +scheme, as well as the new one of M. de T----'s, delighted her: +we laughed heartily at it for some minutes; but when I treated it +as a mere joke, I was surprised at her insisting seriously upon +it, as a thing perfectly practicable, and too delightful to be +neglected. In vain I enquired where she thought I could possibly +find, on a sudden, men fit for such an adventure? and on whom I +could rely for keeping G---- M---- in strict custody? She said +that I should at least try, as M. de T---- ensured us yet a full +hour; and as to my other objections, she said that I was playing +the tyrant, and did not show the slightest indulgence to her +fancies. She said that it was impossible there could be a more +enchanting project. `You will have his place at supper; you will +sleep in his bed; and tomorrow, as early as you like, you can +walk off with both his mistress and his money. You may thus, at +one blow, be amply revenged upon father and son.' + +"I yielded to her entreaties, in spite of the secret misgivings +of my own mind, which seemed to forebode the unhappy catastrophe +that afterwards befell me. I went out with the intention of +asking two or three guardsmen, with whom Lescaut had made me +acquainted, to undertake the arrest of G---- M----. I found only +one of them at home, but he was a fellow ripe for any adventure; +and he no sooner heard our plan, than he assured me of certain +success: all he required were six pistoles, to reward the three +private soldiers whom he determined to employ in the business. I +begged of him to lose no time. He got them together in less than +a quarter of in hour. I waited at his lodgings till he returned +with them, and then conducted him to the corner of a street +through which I knew G---- M---- must pass an going back to +Manon's house. I requested him not to treat G---- M---- roughly, +but to keep him confined, and so strictly watched, until seven +o'clock next morning, that I might be free from all apprehension +of his escape. He told me his intention was to bring him a +prisoner to his own room, and make him undress and sleep in his +bed, while he and his gallant comrades should spend the night in +drinking and playing. + +"I remained with them until we saw G---- M---- returning +homewards; and I then withdrew a few steps into a dark recess in +the street, to enjoy so entertaining and extraordinary a scene. +The officer challenged him with a pistol to his breast, and then +told him, in a civil tone, that he did not want either his money +or his life; but that if he hesitated to follow him, or if he +gave the slightest alarm, he would blow his brains out. G---- +M----, seeing that his assailant was supported by three soldiers, +and perhaps not uninfluenced by a dread of the pistol, yielded +without further resistance. I saw him led away like a lamb. + + + +X + + +What lost a world, and bade a hero fly? +The timid tear in Cleopatra's eye. +Yet be the soft triumvir's fault forgiven, +By this, how many lose--not earth--but heaven! +Consign their souls to man's eternal foe, +And seal their own, to spare some wanton's, woe! + +BYRON. + + +I soon returned to Manon; and to prevent the servants from having +any suspicion, I told her in their hearing, that she need not +expect M. G---- M---- to supper; that he was most reluctantly +occupied with business which detained him, and that he had +commissioned me to come and make his excuses, and to fill his +place at the supper table; which, in the company of so beautiful +a lady, I could not but consider a very high honour. She +seconded me with her usual adroitness. We sat down to supper. I +put on the most serious air I could assume, while the servants +were in the room, and at length having got rid of them, we +passed, beyond all comparison, the most agreeable evening of my +life. I gave Marcel orders to find a hackney-coach, and engage +it to be at the gate on the following morning a little before six +o'clock. I pretended to take leave of Manon about midnight, but +easily gaining admission again, through Marcel, I proceeded to +occupy G---- M----'s bed, as I had filled his place at the supper +table. + +"In the meantime our evil genius was at work for our +destruction. We were like children enjoying the success of our +silly scheme, while the sword hung suspended over our heads. The +thread which upheld it was just about to break; but the better to +understand all the circumstances of our ruin, it is necessary to +know the immediate cause. + +"G---- M---- was followed by a servant, when he was stopped by +my friend the guardsman. Alarmed by what he saw, this fellow +retraced his steps, and the first thing he did was to go and +inform old G---- M---- of what had just happened. + +"Such a piece of news, of course, excited him greatly. This was +his only son; and considering the old gentleman's advanced age, +he was extremely active and ardent. He first enquired of the +servant what his son had been doing that afternoon; whether he +had had any quarrel on his own account, or interfered in any +other; whether he had been in any suspicious house. The lackey, +who fancied his master in imminent danger, and thought he ought +not to have any reserve in such an emergency, disclosed at once +all that he knew of his connection with Manon, and of the expense +he had gone to on her account; the manner in which he had passed +the afternoon with her until about nine o'clock, the circumstance +of his leaving her, and the outrage he encountered on his return. +This was enough to convince him that his son's affair was a love +quarrel. Although it was then at least half-past ten at night, +he determined at once to call on the lieutenant of police. He +begged of him to issue immediate orders to all the detachments +that were out on duty, and he himself, taking some men with him, +hastened to the street where his son had been stopped: he visited +every place where he thought he might have a chance of finding +him; and not being able to discover the slightest trace of him, +he went off to the house of his mistress, to which he thought he +probably might by this time have returned. + +"I was stepping into bed when he arrived. The door of the +chamber being closed, I did not hear the knock at the gate, but +he rushed into the house, accompanied by two archers of the +guard, and after fruitless enquiries of the servants about his +son, he resolved to try whether he could get any information from +their mistress. He came up to the apartment, still accompanied +by the guard. We were just on the point of lying down when he +burst open the door, and electrified us by his appearance. +`Heavens!' said I to Manon, `it is old G---- M----.' I attempted +to get possession of my sword; but it was fortunately entangled +in my belt. The archers, who saw my object, advanced to lay hold +of me. Stript to my shirt, I could, of course, offer no +resistance, and they speedily deprived me of all means of +defence. + +"G---- M----, although a good deal embarrassed by the whole +scene, soon recognised me; and Manon still more easily. `Is this +a dream?' said he, in the most serious tone--`do I not see before +me the Chevalier des Grieux and Manon Lescaut?' I was so +overcome with shame and disappointment, that I could make him no +reply. He appeared for some minutes revolving different thoughts +in his mind; and as if they had suddenly excited his anger, he +exclaimed, addressing himself to me: `Wretch! I am confident +that you have murdered my son!' + +"I felt indignant at so insulting a charge. `You hoary and +lecherous villain!' I exclaimed, `if I had been inclined to kill +any of your worthless family, it is with you I should most +assuredly have commenced.' + +"`Hold him fast,' cried he to the archers; `he must give me +some tidings of my son; I shall have him hanged tomorrow, if he +does not presently let me know how he has disposed of him.' + +"`You will have me hanged,' said I, `will you? Infamous +scoundrel! it is for such as you that the gibbet is erected. Know +that the blood which flows in my veins is noble, and purer in +every sense than yours. Yes,' I added, `I do know what has +happened to your son; and if you irritate me further, I will have +him strangled before morning; and I promise you the consolation +of meeting in your own person the same fate, after he is disposed +of.' + +"I was imprudent in acknowledging that I knew where his son was, +but excess of anger made me commit this indiscretion. He +immediately called in five or six other archers, who were waiting +at the gate, and ordered them to take all the servants into +custody. `Ah! ah! Chevalier,' said he, in a tone of sardonic +raillery,--`so you do know where my son is, and you will have him +strangled, you say? We will try to set that matter to rights.' + +"I now saw the folly I had committed. + +"He approached Manon, who was sitting upon the bed, bathed in a +flood of tears. He said something, with the most cruel irony, of +the despotic power she wielded over old and young, father and +son-- her edifying dominion over her empire. This superannuated +monster of incontinence actually attempted to take liberties with +her. + +"`Take care,' exclaimed I, `how you lay a finger upon her!-- +neither divine nor human law will be able, should your folly +arouse it, to shield you from my vengeance!' + +"He quitted the room, desiring the archers to make us dress as +quickly as possible. + +"I know not what were his intentions at that moment with regard +to us; we might perhaps have regained our liberty if we had told +him where his son was. As I dressed, I considered whether this +would not be the wisest course. But if, on quitting the room, +such had been the disposition of his mind, it was very different +when he returned. He had first gone to question Manon's +servants, who were in the custody of the guard. From those who +had been expressly hired for her service by his son, he could +learn nothing; but when he found that Marcel had been previously +our servant, he determined to extract some information from him, +by means of intimidation, threats, or bribes. + +"This lad was faithful, but weak and unsophisticated. The +remembrance of what he had done at the penitentiary for Manon's +release, joined to the terror with which G---- M---- now inspired +him, so subdued his mind, that he thought they were about leading +him to the gallows, or the rack. He promised that, if they would +spare his life, he would disclose everything he knew. This +speech made G---- M---- imagine that there was something more +serious in the affair than he had before supposed; he not only +gave Marcel a promise of his life, but a handsome reward in hand +for his intended confession. + +"The booby then told him the leading features of our plot, of +which we had made no secret before him, as he was himself to have +borne a part in it. True, he knew nothing of the alterations we +had made at Paris in our original design; but he had been +informed, before quitting Chaillot, of our projected adventure, +and of the part he was to perform. He therefore told him that +the object was to make a dupe of his son; and that Manon was to +receive, if she had not already received, ten thousand francs, +which, according to our project, would be effectually lost to +G---- M----, his heirs and assigns for ever. + +"Having acquired this information, the old gentleman hastened +back in a rage to the apartment. Without uttering a word, he +passed into the boudoir, where he easily put his hand upon the +money and the jewels. He then accosted us, bursting with rage; +and holding up what he was pleased to call our plunder, he loaded +us with the most indignant reproaches. He placed close to +Manon's eye the pearl necklace and bracelets. `Do you recognise +them?' said he, in a tone of mockery; 'it is not, perhaps, the +first time you may have seen them. The identical pearls, by my +faith! They were selected by your own exquisite taste! The poor +innocents!' added he; `they really are most amiable creatures, +both one and the other; but they are perhaps a little too much +inclined to roguery.' + +"I could hardly contain my indignation at this speech. I would +have given for one moment's liberty--Heavens! what would I not +have given? At length, I suppressed my feelings sufficiently to +say in a tone of moderation, which was but the refinement of +rage: `Put an end, sir, to this insolent mockery! What is your +object? What do you purpose doing with us?' + +"`M. Chevalier,' he answered, `my object is to see you quietly +lodged in the prison of Le Chatelet. Tomorrow will bring +daylight with it, and we shall then be able to take a clearer +view of matters; and I hope you will at last do me the favour to +let me know where my son is.' + +"It did not require much consideration to feel convinced that +our incarceration in Le Chatelet would be a serious calamity. I +foresaw all the dangers that would ensue. In spite of my pride, +I plainly saw the necessity of bending before my fate, and +conciliating my most implacable enemy by submission. I begged of +him, in the quietest manner, to listen to me. `I wish to do +myself but common justice, sir,' said I to him; `I admit that my +youth has led me into egregious follies; and that you have had +fair reason to complain: but if you have ever felt the resistless +power of love, if you can enter into the sufferings of an unhappy +young man, from whom all that he most loved was ravished, you may +think me perhaps not so culpable in seeking the gratification of +an innocent revenge; or at least, you may consider me +sufficiently punished, by the exposure and degradation I have +just now endured. Neither pains nor imprisonment will be +requisite to make me tell you where your son now is. He is in +perfect safety. It was never my intention to injure him, nor to +give you just cause for offence. I am ready to let you know the +place where he is safely passing the night, if, in return, you +will set us at liberty.' + +"The old tiger, far from being softened by my prayer, turned his +back upon me and laughed. A few words, escaped him, which showed +that he perfectly well knew our whole plan from the commencement. +As for his son, the brute said that he would easily find him, +since I had not assassinated him. `Conduct them to the +Petit-Chatelet,' said he to the archers; `and take especial care +that the chevalier does not escape you: he is a scamp that once +before escaped from St. Lazare.' + +"He went out, and left me in a condition that you may picture to +yourself. `O Heavens!' cried I to myself, `I receive with humble +submission all your visitations; but that a wretched scoundrel +should thus have the power to tyrannise over me! this it is that +plunges me into the depths of despair!' The archers begged that +we would not detain them any longer. They had a coach at the +door. `Come, my dear angel,' said I to Manon, as we went down, +`come, let us submit to our destiny in all its rigour: it may one +day please Heaven to render us more happy.' + +"We went in the same coach. I supported her in my arms. I had +not heard her utter a single word since G---- M----'s first +appearance: but now, finding herself alone with me, she addressed +me in the tenderest manner, and accused herself of being the +cause of all my troubles. I assured her that I never could +complain, while she continued to love me. `It is not I that have +reason to complain,' I added; `imprisonment for a few months has +no terrors for me, and I would infinitely prefer Le Chatelet to +St. Lazare; but it is for you, my dearest soul, that my heart +bleeds. What a lot for such an angel! How can you, gracious +Heaven! subject to such rigour the most perfect work of your own +hands? Why are we not both of us born with qualities conformable +to our wretched condition? We are endowed with spirit, with +taste, with feeling; while the vilest of God's creatures--brutes, +alone worthy of our unhappy fate, are revelling in all the +favours of fortune.' + +"These feelings filled me with grief; but it was bliss compared +with my prospects for the future. My fear, on account of Manon, +knew no bounds. She had already been an inmate of the Magdalen; +and even if she had left it by fair means, I knew that a relapse +of this nature would be attended with disastrous consequences. I +wished to let her know my fears: I was apprehensive of exciting +hers. I trembled for her, without daring to put her on her guard +against the danger; and I embraced her tenderly, to satisfy her, +at least, of my love, which was almost the only sentiment to +which I dared to give expression. `Manon,' said I, `tell me +sincerely, will you ever cease to love me?' + +"She answered, that it made her unhappy to think that I could +doubt it. + +"`Very well,' replied I, `I do so no longer; and with this +conviction, I may well defy all my enemies. Through the +influence of my family, I can ensure my own liberation from the +Chatelet; and my life will be of little use, and of short +duration, if I do not succeed in rescuing you.' + +"We arrived at the prison, where they put us into separate +cells. This blow was the less severe, because I was prepared for +it. I recommended Manon to the attention of the porter, telling +him that I was a person of some distinction, and promising him a +considerable recompense. I embraced my dearest mistress before +we parted; I implored her not to distress herself too much, and +to fear nothing while I lived. I had money with me: I gave her +some; and I paid the porter, out of what remained, the amount of +a month's expenses for both of us in, advance. This had an +excellent effect, for I found myself placed in an apartment +comfortably furnished, and they assured me that Manon was in one +equally good. + +"I immediately set about devising the means of procuring my +liberty. There certainly had been nothing actually criminal in +my conduct; and supposing even that our felonious intention was +established by the evidence of Marcel, I knew that criminal +intentions alone were not punishable. I resolved to write +immediately to my father, and beg of him to come himself to +Paris. I felt much less humiliation, as I have already said, in +being in Le Chatelet than in St. Lazare. Besides, although I +preserved, all proper respect for the paternal authority, age and +experience had considerably lessened my timidity. I wrote, and +they made no difficulty in the prison about forwarding my letter; +but it was a trouble I should have spared myself, had I known +that my father was about to arrive on the following day in Paris. +He had received the letter I had written to him a week before; it +gave him extreme delight; but, notwithstanding the flattering +hopes I had held out of my conversion, he could not implicitly +rely on my statements. He determined therefore to satisfy +himself of my reformation by the evidence of his own senses, and +to regulate his conduct towards me according to his conviction of +my sincerity. He arrived the day after my imprisonment. + +"His first visit was to Tiberge, to whose care I begged that he +would address his answer. He could not learn from him either my +present abode or condition: Tiberge merely told him of my +principal adventures since I had escaped from St. Lazare. +Tiberge spoke warmly of the disposition to virtue which I had +evinced at our last interview. He added, that he considered me +as having quite got rid of Manon; but that he was nevertheless +surprised at my not having given him any intelligence about +myself for a week. My father was not to be duped. He fully +comprehended that there was something in the silence of which +Tiberge complained, which had escaped my poor friend's +penetration; and he took such pains to find me out, that in two +days after his arrival he learned that I was in Le Chatelet. + +"Before I received this visit, which I little expected so soon, +I had the honour of one from the lieutenant-general of police, +or, to call things by their right names, I was subjected to an +official examination. He upbraided me certainly, but not in any +harsh or annoying manner. He told me, in the kindest tone, that +he bitterly lamented my bad conduct; that I had committed a gross +indiscretion in making an enemy of such a man as M. G---- M----; +that in truth it was easy to see that there was, in the affair, +more of imprudence and folly than of malice; but that still it +was the second time I had been brought as a culprit under his +cognisance; and that he had hoped I should have become more +sedate, after the experience of two or three months in St. +Lazare. + +"Delighted at finding that I had a rational judge to deal with, +I explained the affair to him in a manner at once so respectful +and so moderate, that he seemed exceedingly satisfied with my +answers to all the queries he put. He desired me not to abandon +myself to grief, and assured me that he felt every disposition to +serve me, as well on account of my birth as my inexperience. I +ventured to bespeak his attentions in favour of Manon, and I +dwelt upon her gentle and excellent disposition. He replied, +with a smile, that he had not yet seen her, but that she had been +represented to him as a most dangerous person. This expression +so excited my sympathy, that I urged a thousand anxious arguments +in favour of my poor mistress, and I could not restrain even from +shedding tears. + +"He desired them to conduct me back to my chamber. `Love! love!' +cried this grave magistrate as I went out, `thou art never to be +reconciled with discretion!' + +"I had been occupied with the most melancholy reflections, and +was thinking of the conversation I had had with the +lieutenant-general of police, when I heard my door open. It was +my father. Although I ought to have been half prepared for +seeing him, and had reasons to expect his arrival within a day or +two, yet I was so thunderstruck, that I could willingly have sunk +into the earth, if it had been open at my feet. I embraced him +in the greatest possible state of confusion. He took a seat, +without either one or other of us having uttered a word. + +"As I remained standing, with my head uncovered, and my eyes +cast on the ground, `Be seated, sir,' said he in a solemn voice; +`be seated. I have to thank the notoriety of your debaucheries +for learning the place of your abode. It is the privilege of +such fame as yours, that it cannot lie concealed. You are +acquiring celebrity by an unerring path. Doubtless it will lead +you to the Greve,[1] and you will then have the unfading glory of +being held up to the admiration of the world.' + + +[1]Who has e'er been at Paris must needs know the Greve, +The fatal retreat of th' unfortunate brave, +Where honour and justice most oddly contribute, +To ease heroes' pains by the halter and gibbet.--PRIOR. + + + +"I made no reply. He continued: `What an unhappy lot is that +of a father, who having tenderly loved a child, and strained +every nerve to bring him up a virtuous and respectable man, finds +him turn out in the end a worthless profligate, who dishonours +him. To an ordinary reverse of fortune one may be reconciled; +time softens the affliction, and even the indulgence of sorrow +itself is not unavailing; but what remedy is there for an evil +that is perpetually augmenting, such as the profligacy of a +vicious son, who has deserted every principle of honour, and is +ever plunging from deep into deeper vice? You are silent,' added +he: `look at this counterfeit modesty, this hypocritical air of +gentleness!-- might he not pass for the most respectable member +of his family?' + +"Although I could not but feel that I deserved, in some degree, +these reproaches, yet he appeared to me to carry them beyond all +reason. I thought I might be permitted to explain my feelings. + +"`I assure you, sir,' said I to him, `that the modesty which +you ridicule is by no means affected; it is the natural feeling +of a son who entertains sincere respect for his father, and above +all, a father irritated as you justly are by his faults. Neither +have I, sir, the slightest wish to pass for the most respectable +member of my family. I know that I have merited your reproaches, +but I conjure you to temper them with mercy, and not to look upon +me as the most infamous of mankind. I do not deserve such harsh +names. It is love, you know it, that has caused all my errors. +Fatal passion! Have you yourself never felt its force? Is it +possible that you, with the same blood in your veins that flows +in mine, should have passed through life unscathed by the same +excitements? Love has rendered me perhaps foolishly tender--too +easily excited-- too impassioned--too faithful, and probably too +indulgent to the desires and caprices, or, if you will, the +faults of an adored mistress. These are my crimes; are they such +as to reflect dishonour upon you? Come, my dear father,' said I +tenderly, `show some pity for a son, who has never ceased to feel +respect and affection for you--who has not renounced, as you say, +all feelings of honour and of duty, and who is himself a thousand +times more an object of pity than you imagine.' I could not help +shedding a tear as I concluded this appeal. + +"A father's heart is a chef-d'oeuvre of creation. There nature +rules in undisturbed dominion, and regulates at will its most +secret springs. He was a man of high feeling and good taste, and +was so sensibly affected by the turn I had given to my defence, +that he could no longer hide from me the change I had wrought. + +"`Come to me, my poor chevalier,' said he; `come and embrace +me. I do pity you!' + +"I embraced him: he pressed me to him in such a manner, that I +guessed what was passing in his heart. + +"`But how are we,' said he, `to extricate you from this place? +Explain to me the real situation of your affairs.' + +"As there really was not anything in my conduct so grossly +improper as to reflect dishonour upon me; at least, in comparison +with the conduct of other young men of a certain station in the +world; and as a mistress is not considered a disgrace, any more +than a little dexterity in drawing some advantage from play, I +gave my father a candid detail of the life I had been leading. +As I recounted each transgression, I took care to cite some +illustrious example in my justification, in order to palliate my +own faults. + +"`I lived,' said I, `with a mistress without the solemnity of +marriage. The Duke of ---- keeps two before the eyes of all +Paris. M---- D---- has had one now for ten years, and loves her +with a fidelity which he has never shown to his wife. Two-thirds +of the men of fashion in Paris keep mistresses. + +"`I certainly have on one or two occasions cheated at play. +Well, the Marquis of ---- and the Count ---- have no other source +of revenue. The Prince of ---- and the Duke of ---- are at the +head of a gang of the same industrious order.' As for the +designs I had upon the pockets of the two G---- M----s, I might +just as easily have proved that I had abundant models for that +also; but I had too much pride to plead guilty to this charge, +and rest on the justification of example; so that I begged of my +father to ascribe my weakness on this occasion to the violence of +the two passions which agitated me--Revenge and Love. + +"He asked me whether I could suggest any means of obtaining my +liberty, and in such a way as to avoid publicity as much as +possible. I told him of the kind feelings which the lieutenant- +general of police had expressed towards me. `If you encounter +any obstacles,' said I, `they will be offered only by the two +G---- M----s; so that I think it would be advisable to call upon them.' + +"He promised to do so. + +"I did not dare ask him to solicit Manon's liberation; this was +not from want of courage, but from the apprehension of +exasperating him by such a proposition, and perhaps driving him +to form some design fatal to the future happiness of us both. It +remains to this hour a problem whether this fear on my part was +not the immediate cause of all my most terrible misfortunes, by +preventing me from ascertaining my father's disposition, and +endeavouring to inspire him with favourable feelings towards my +poor mistress: I might have perhaps once more succeeded in +exciting his commiseration; I might have put him on his guard +against the impression which he was sure of receiving from a +visit to old G---- M----. But how can I tell what the +consequences would have been! My unhappy fate would have most +probably counteracted all my efforts; but it would have been a +consolation to have had nothing else but that, and the cruelty of +my enemies, to blame for my afflictions. + +"On quitting me, my father went to pay a visit to M. G---- +M----. He found him with his son, whom the guardsman had safely +restored to liberty. I never learned the particulars of their +conversation; but I could easily infer them from the disastrous +results. They went together (the two old gentlemen) to the +lieutenant-general of police, from whom they requested one favour +each: the first was to have me at once liberated from Le +Chatelet; the second to condemn Manon to perpetual imprisonment, +or to transport her for life to America. They happened, at that +very period, to be sending out a number of convicts to the +Mississippi. The lieutenant-general promised to have her +embarked on board the first vessel that sailed. + +"M. G---- M---- and my father came together to bring me the news +of my liberation. M. G---- M---- said something civil with +reference to what had passed; and having congratulated me upon my +happiness in having such a father, he exhorted me to profit +henceforward by his instruction and example. My father desired +me to express my sorrow for the injustice I had even contemplated +against his family, and my gratitude for his having assisted in +procuring my liberation. + +"We all left the prison together, without the mention of Manon's +name. I dared not in their presence speak of her to the +turnkeys. Alas! all my entreaties in her favour would have been +useless. The cruel sentence upon Manon had arrived at the same +time as the warrant for my discharge. The unfortunate girl was +conducted in an hour after to the Hospital, to be there classed +with some other wretched women, who had been condemned to the +same punishment. + +"My father having forced me to accompany him to the house where +he was residing, it was near six o'clock before I had an +opportunity of escaping his vigilance. In returning to Le +Chatelet, my only wish was to convey some refreshments to Manon, +and to recommend her to the attention of the porter; for I had no +hope of being permitted to see her; nor had I, as yet, had time +to reflect on the best means of rescuing her. + +"I asked for the porter. I had won his heart, as much by my +liberality to him, as by the mildness of my manner; so that, +having a disposition to serve me, he spoke of Manon's sentence as +a calamity which he sincerely regretted, since it was calculated +to mortify me. I was at first unable to comprehend his meaning. +We conversed for some minutes without my understanding him. At +length perceiving that an explanation was necessary, he gave me +such a one, as on a former occasion I wanted courage to relate to +you, and which, even now, makes my blood curdle in my veins to +remember. + + + +XI + + +Alack! it is not when we sleep soft and wake merrily that we think +on other people's sufferings; but when the hour of trouble comes, +said Jeanie Deans.--WALTER SCOTT. + + +"Never did apoplexy produce on mortal a more sudden or terrific +effect than did the announcement of Manon's sentence upon me. I +fell prostrate, with so intense a palpitation of the heart, that +as I swooned I thought that death itself was come upon me. This +idea continued even after I had been restored to my senses. I +gazed around me upon every part of the room, then upon my own +paralysed limbs, doubting, in my delirium, whether I still bore +about me the attributes of a living man. It is quite certain +that, in obedience to the desire I felt of terminating my +sufferings, even by my own hand, nothing could have been to me +more welcome than death at that moment of anguish and despair. +Religion itself could depict nothing more insupportable after +death than the racking agony with which I was then convulsed. +Yet, by a miracle, only within the power of omnipotent love, I +soon regained strength enough to express my gratitude to Heaven +for restoring me to sense and reason. My death could have only +been a relief and blessing to myself; whereas Manon had occasion +for my prolonged existence, in order to deliver her--to succour +her--to avenge her wrongs: I swore to devote that existence +unremittingly to these objects. + +"The porter gave me every assistance that I could have expected +at the hands of my oldest friend: I accepted his services with +the liveliest gratitude. `Alas!' said I to him, `you then are +affected by my sufferings! The whole world abandons me; my own +father proves one of the very cruellest of my persecutors; no +person feels pity for me! You alone, in this abode of suffering +and shame--you alone exhibit compassion for the most wretched of +mankind!' He advised me not to appear in the street until I had +recovered a little from my affliction. `Do not stop me,' said I, +as I went out; `we shall meet again sooner than you imagine: get +ready your darkest dungeon, for I shall shortly become its +tenant.' + +"In fact, my first idea was nothing less than to make away with +the two G---- M----s, and the lieutenant-general of police; and +then to attack the Hospital, sword in hand, assisted by all whom +I could enlist in my cause. Even my father's life was hardly +respected, so just appeared my feelings of vengeance; for the +porter had informed me that he and G---- M---- were jointly the +authors of my ruin. + +"But when I had advanced some paces into the street, and the +fresh air had cooled my excitement, I gradually viewed matters in +a more rational mood. The death of our enemies could be of +little use to Manon; and the obvious effect of such violence +would be to deprive me of all other chance of serving her. +Besides, could I ever bring myself to be a cowardly assassin? By +what other means could I accomplish my revenge? I set all my +ingenuity and all my efforts at work to procure the deliverance +of Manon, leaving everything else to be considered hereafter when +I had succeeded in this first and paramount object. + +"I had very little money left; money, however, was an +indispensable basis for all my operations. I only knew three +persons from whom I had any right to ask pecuniary assistance--M. +de T----, Tiberge, and my father. There appeared little chance +of obtaining any from the two latter, and I was really ashamed +again to importune M. de T----. But it is not in desperate +emergencies that one stands upon points of ceremony. I went +first to the seminary of St. Sulpice, without considering whether +I should be recognised. I asked for Tiberge. His first words +showed me that he knew nothing of my latest adventure: this made +me change the design I had originally formed of appealing at once +to his compassion. I spoke generally of the pleasure it had +given me to see my father again; and I then begged of him to lend +me some money, under the pretext of being anxious before I left +Paris to pay a few little debts, which I wished to keep secret. +He handed me his purse, without a single remark. I took twenty +or twenty-five pounds, which it contained. I offered him my note +of hand, but he was too generous to accept it. + +"I then went to M. de T----: I had no reserve with him. I +plainly told him my misfortunes and distress: he already knew +everything, and had informed himself even of the most trifling +circumstance, on account of the interest he naturally took in +young G---- M----'s adventure. He, however, listened to me, and +seemed sincerely to lament what had occurred. When I consulted +him as to the best means of rescuing Manon, he answered that he +saw such little ground for hope, that, without some extraordinary +interposition of Providence, it would be folly to expect relief; +that he had paid a visit expressly to the Hospital since Manon +had been transferred from the Chatelet, but that he could not +even obtain permission to see her, as the lieutenant-general of +police had given the strictest orders to the contrary; and that, +to complete the catastrophe, the unfortunate train of convicts, +in which she was to be included, was to take its departure from +Paris the day but one after. + +"I was so confounded by what he said, that if he had gone on +speaking for another hour, I should not have interrupted him. He +continued to tell me, that the reason of his not calling to see +me at the Chatelet was, that he hoped to be of more use by +appearing to be unknown to me; that for the last few hours, since +I had been set at liberty, he had in vain looked for me, in order +to suggest the only plan through which he could see a hope of +averting Manon's fate. He told me it was dangerous counsel to +give, and implored me never to mention the part he took in it; it +was to find some enterprising fellows gallant enough to attack +Manon's guard on getting outside the barriere. Nor did he wait +for me to urge a plea of poverty. `Here is fifty pounds,' he +said, presenting me his purse; `it may be of use to you; you can +repay me when you are in better circumstances.' He added, that +if the fear of losing his character did not prevent him from +embarking in such an enterprise, he would have willingly put his +sword and his life at my service. + +"This unlooked-for generosity affected me to tears. I expressed +my gratitude with as much warmth as my depressed spirits left at +my command. I asked him if there were nothing to be expected +from interceding with the lieutenant-general of police: he said +that he had considered that point; but that he looked upon it as +a hopeless attempt, because a favour of that nature was never +accorded without some strong motive, and he did not see what +inducement could be held out for engaging the intercession of any +person of power on her behalf; that if any hope could possibly be +entertained upon the point, it must be by working a change in the +feelings of old G---- M---- and my father, and by prevailing on +them to solicit from the lieutenant-general of police the +revocation of Manon's sentence. He offered to do everything in +his power to gain over the younger G---- M----, although he +fancied a coldness in that gentleman's manner towards him, +probably from some suspicions he might entertain of his being +concerned in the late affair; and he entreated me to lose no +opportunity of effecting the desired change in my father's mind. + +"This was no easy undertaking for me; not only on account of the +difficulty I should naturally meet in overcoming his opinion, but +for another reason which made me fear even to approach him; I had +quitted his lodgings contrary to his express orders, and was +resolved, since I had learned the sad fate of my poor Manon, +never again to return thither. I was not without apprehensions +indeed of his now retaining me against my will, and perhaps +taking me at once back with him into the country. My elder +brother had formerly had recourse to this violent measure. True, +I was now somewhat older; but age is a feeble argument against +force. I hit upon a mode, however, of avoiding this danger, +which was to get him by contrivance to some public place, and +there announce myself to him under an assumed name: I immediately +resolved on this method. M. de T---- went to G---- M----'s, and +I to the Luxembourg, whence I sent my father word, that a +gentleman waited there to speak with him. I hardly thought he +would come, as the night was advancing. He, however, soon made +his appearance, followed by a servant: I begged of him to choose +a walk where we could be alone. We walked at least a hundred +paces without speaking. He doubtless imagined that so much +precaution could not be taken without some important object. He +waited for my opening speech, and I was meditating how to +commence it. + +"At length I began. + +"`Sir,' said I, trembling, `you are a good and affectionate +parent; you have loaded me with favours, and have forgiven me an +infinite number of faults; I also, in my turn, call Heaven to +witness the sincere, and tender, and respectful sentiments I +entertain towards you. But it does seem to me, that your +inexorable severity----' + +"`Well, sir, my severity!' interrupted my father, who no doubt +found my hesitation little suited to his impatience. + +"`Ah, sir,' I replied, `it does seem to me that your severity +is excessive in the penalty you inflict upon the unfortunate +Manon. You have taken only M. G---- M----'s report of her. His +hatred has made him represent her to you in the most odious +colours: you have formed a frightful idea of her. She is, on the +contrary, the mildest and most amiable of living creatures; would +that Heaven had but inspired you at any one moment with the +desire of seeing her! I am convinced that you would be not less +sensible of her perfections than your unhappy son. You would +then have been her advocate; you would have abhorred the foul +artifices of G---- M----; you would have had pity on both her and +me. Alas! I am persuaded of it; your heart is not insensible; it +must ere now have melted with compassion.' + +"He interrupted me again, perceiving that I spoke with a warmth +which would not allow me to finish very briefly. He begged to +know with what request I intended to wind up so fervent an +harangue. + +"`To ask my life at your hands,' said I, `which I never can +retain if Manon once embark for America.' + +"`No! no!' replied he, in the severest tone; `I would rather +see you lifeless, than infamous and depraved.' + +"`We have gone far enough, then,' said I, catching hold of his +arm; `take from me, in common mercy, my life! weary and odious +and insupportable as it henceforward must be; for in the state of +despair into which you now plunge me, death would be the greatest +favour you could bestow--a favour worthy of a father's hand.' + +"`I should only give you what you deserve,' replied he; `I know +fathers who would not have shown as much patience as I have, but +would themselves have executed speedy justice; but it is my +foolish and excessive forbearance that has been your ruin.' + +"I threw myself at his feet: `Ah!' exclaimed I, `if you have +still any remains of mercy, do not harden your heart against my +distress and sorrow. Remember that I am your child! Alas! think +of my poor mother! you loved her tenderly! would you have +suffered her to be torn from your arms? You would have defended +her to the death! May not the same feeling then be pardoned in +others? Can persons become barbarous and cruel, after having +themselves experienced the softening influence of tenderness and +grief?' + +"`Breathe not again the sacred name of your mother,' he +exclaimed, in a voice of thunder; `the very allusion to her +memory rouses my indignation. Had she lived to witness the +unredeemed profligacy of your life, it would have brought her in +pain and sorrow to her grave.--Let us put an end to this +discussion' he added; `it distresses me, and makes not the +slightest change in my determination: I am going back to my +lodgings, and I desire you to follow me.' + +"The cool and resolute tone in which he uttered this command, +convinced me that he was inexorable. I stepped some paces aside, +for fear he should think fit to lay hands upon me. + +"`Do not increase my misery and despair,' said I to him, `by +forcing me to disobey you. It is impossible for me to follow +you; and equally so that I should continue to live, after the +unkind treatment I have experienced from you. I, therefore, bid +you an eternal adieu. When you know that I am dead, as I shall +soon be, the paternal affection which you once entertained for me +may be perhaps revived.' + +"As I was about to turn away from him: `You refuse then to +follow me,' cried he, in a tone of excessive anger. `Go! go on +to your ruin. Adieu! ungrateful and disobedient boy.' + +"`Adieu!' exclaimed I to him, in a burst of grief, `adieu, +cruel and unnatural father!' + +"I left the Luxembourg, and rushed like a madman through the +streets to M. de T----'s house. I raised my hands and eyes as I +went along, invoking the Almighty Powers: `O Heaven,' cried I, +`will you not prove more merciful than man! The only hope that +remains to me is from above!' + +"M. de T---- had not yet returned home; but he arrived before +many minutes had elapsed. His negotiation had been as +unsuccessful as my own. He told me so with the most sorrowful +countenance. Young G---- M----, although less irritated than his +father against Manon and me, would not undertake to petition in +our favour. He was, in great measure, deterred by the fear which +he himself had of the vindictive old lecher, who had already +vented his anger against him for his design of forming a +connection with Manon. + +"There only remained to me, therefore, the violent measures +which M. T---- had suggested. I now confined all my hopes to +them. They were questionless most uncertain; but they held out +to me, at least, a substantial consolation, in the certainty of +meeting death in the attempt, if unsuccessful. I left him, +begging that he would offer up his best wishes for my triumph; +and I thought only of finding some companions, to whom I might +communicate a portion of my own courage and determination. + +"The first that occurred to me was the same guardsman whom I had +employed to arrest G---- M----. I had intended indeed to pass +the night at his rooms, not having had a moment of leisure during +the afternoon to procure myself a lodging. I found him alone. +He was glad to see me out of the Chatelet. He made me an offer +of his services. I explained to him in what way he might now do +me the greatest kindness. He had good sense enough to perceive +all the difficulties; but he was also generous enough to +undertake to surmount them. + +"We spent part of the night in considering how the plot was to +be executed. He spoke of the three soldiers whom he had made use +of on the last occasion, as men whose courage had been proved. +M. de T---- had told me the exact number of archers that would +escort Manon; they were but six. Five strong and determined men +could not fail to strike terror into these fellows, who would +never think of defending themselves bravely, when they were to be +allowed the alternative of avoiding danger by surrendering; and +of that they would no doubt avail themselves. As I was not +without money, the guardsman advised me to spare no pains or +expense to ensure success. `We must be mounted,' he said, `and +each man must have his carbine and pistols; I will take care to +prepare everything requisite by tomorrow. We shall also want +three new suits of regimentals for the soldiers, who dare not +appear in an affray of this kind in the uniform of their +regiment. I handed him the hundred pistoles which I had got from +M. de T----; it was all expended the next morning, to the very +last sou. I inspected the three soldiers; I animated them with +the most liberal promises; and to confirm their confidence in me, +I began by making each man a present of ten pistoles. + +"The momentous day having arrived, I sent one of them at an +early hour to the Hospital, to ascertain the exact time when the +police were to start with their prisoners. Although I merely +took this precaution from my excessive anxiety, it turned out to +have been a prudent step. I had formed my plans upon false +information, which I had received as to their destination; and +believing that it was at Rochelle this unhappy group was to +embark, all my trouble would have been thrown away in waiting for +them on the Orleans road. However, I learned, by the soldier's +report, that they would go out towards Rouen, and that it was +from Havre-de-Grace they were to sail for America. + +"We at once went to the gate of St. Honore, taking care to go by +different streets. We assembled at the end of the faubourg. Our +horses were fresh. In a little time we observed before us the +six archers and the two wretched caravans, which you saw at Passy +two years ago. The sight alone almost deprived me of my strength +and senses. `Oh fate!' said I to myself, `cruel fate! grant me +now either death or victory.' + +"We hastily consulted as to the mode of making the attack. The +cavalcade was only four hundred paces in advance, and we might +intercept them by cutting across a small field, round which the +high road led. The guardsman was for this course, in order to +fall suddenly upon them while unprepared. I approved of the +plan, and was the first to spur my horse forward--but fate once +again relentlessly blasted all my hopes. + +"The escort, seeing five horsemen riding towards them, inferred +that it was for the purpose of attacking them. They put +themselves in a position of defence, preparing their bayonets and +guns with an air of resolution. + +"This demonstration, which in the guardsman and myself only +inspired fresh courage, had a very different effect upon our +three cowardly companions. They stopped simultaneously, and +having muttered to each other some words which I could not hear, +they turned their horses' heads, threw the bridles on their +necks, and galloped back towards Paris. + +"`Good heavens!' said the guardsman, who appeared as much +annoyed as I was by this infamous desertion, `what is to be done? +we are but two now.' + +"From rage and consternation I had lost all power of speech. I +doubted whether my first revenge should not be in pursuing the +cowards who had abandoned me. I saw them flying, and looked in +the other direction at the escort: if it had been possible to +divide myself, I should at once have fallen upon both these +objects of my fury; I should have destroyed all at the same +moment. + +"The guardsman, who saw my irresolution by my wandering gaze, +begged of me to hear his advice. `Being but two,' he said, `it +would be madness to attack six men as well armed as ourselves, +and who seem determined to receive us firmly. Let us return to +Paris, and endeavour to succeed better in the choice of our +comrades. The police cannot make very rapid progress with two +heavy vans; we may overtake them tomorrow without difficulty.' + +"I reflected a moment on this suggestion; but seeing nothing +around me but despair, I took a final and indeed desperate +resolution: this was to thank my companion for his services, and, +far from attacking the police, to go up with submission and +implore them to receive me among them, that I might accompany +Manon to Havre-de-Grace, and afterwards, if possible, cross the +Atlantic with her. `The whole world is either persecuting or +betraying me,' said I to the guardsman; `I have no longer the +power of interesting anyone in my favour; I expect nothing more +either from fortune or the friendship of man; my misery is at its +height; it only remains for me to submit, so that I close my eyes +henceforward against every gleam of hope. May Heaven,' I +continued, `reward you for your generosity! Adieu! I shall go +and aid my wretched destiny in filling up the full measure of my +ruin!' He, in vain, endeavoured to persuade me to return with +him to Paris. I entreated him to leave me at once, lest the +police should still suspect us of an intention to attack them. + + + +XII + + +The pauses and intermissions of pain become positive pleasures; +and have thus a power of shedding a satisfaction over the +intervals of ease, which few enjoyments exceed.--PALEY. + + +"Riding towards the cortege at a slow pace, and with a sorrowful +countenance, the guards could hardly see anything very terrific +in my approach. They seemed, however, to expect an attack. `Be +persuaded, gentlemen,' said I to them, `that I come not to wage +war, but rather to ask favours.' I then begged of them to +continue their progress without any distrust, and as we went +along I made my solicitations. They consulted together to +ascertain in what way they should entertain my request. The +chief of them spoke for the rest. He said that the orders they +had received to watch the prisoners vigilantly were of the +strictest kind; that, however, I seemed so interesting a young +man, that they might be induced to relax a little in their duty; +but that I must know, of course, that this would cost me +something. I had about sixteen pistoles left, and candidly told +them what my purse contained. `Well,' said the gendarme, `we +will act generously. It shall only cost you a crown an hour for +conversing with any of our girls that you may prefer-- that is +the ordinary price in Paris.' + +"I said not a word of Manon, because I did not wish to let them +know of my passion. They at first supposed it was merely a +boyish whim, that made me think of amusing myself with these +creatures but when they discovered that I was in love, they +increased their demands in such a way, that my purse was +completely empty on leaving Mantes, where we had slept the night +before our arrival at Passy. + +"Shall I describe to you my heart-rending interviews with Manon +during this journey, and what my sensations were when I obtained +from the guards permission to approach her caravan? Oh! language +never can adequately express the sentiments of the heart; but +picture to yourself my poor mistress, with a chain round her +waist, seated upon a handful of straw, her head resting languidly +against the panel of the carriage, her face pale and bathed with +tears, which forced a passage between her eyelids, although she +kept them continually closed. She had not even the curiosity to +open her eyes on hearing the bustle of the guards when they +expected our attack. Her clothes were soiled, and in disorder; +her delicate hands exposed to the rough air; in fine, her whole +angelic form, that face, lovely enough to carry back the world to +idolatry, presented a spectacle of distress and anguish utterly +indescribable. + +"I spent some moments gazing at her as I rode alongside the +carriage. I had so lost my self-possession, that I was several +times on the point of falling from my horse. My sighs and +frequent exclamations at length attracted her attention. She +looked at and recognised me, and I remarked that on the first +impulse, she unconsciously tried to leap from the carriage +towards me, but being checked by her chain, she fell into her +former attitude. + +"I begged of the guards to stop one moment for the sake of +mercy; they consented for the sake of avarice. I dismounted to +go and sit near her. She was so languid and feeble, that she was +for some time without the power of speech, and could not raise +her hands: I bathed them with my tears; and being myself unable +to utter a word, we formed together as deplorable a picture of +distress as could well be seen. When at length we were able to +speak, our conversation was not less sorrowful. Manon said +little: shame and grief appeared to have altered the character of +her voice; its tone was feeble and tremulous. + +"She thanked me for not having forgotten her, and for the +comfort I gave her in allowing her to see me once more, and she +then bade me a long and last farewell. But when I assured her +that no power on earth could ever separate me from her, and that +I was resolved to follow her to the extremity of the world--to +watch over her--to guard her--to love her--and inseparably to +unite my wretched destiny with hers, the poor girl gave way to +such feelings of tenderness and grief, that I almost dreaded +danger to her life from the violence of her emotion: the +agitation of her whole soul seemed intensely concentrated in her +eyes; she fixed them steadfastly upon me. She more than once +opened her lips without the power of giving utterance to her +thoughts. I could, however, catch some expressions that dropped +from her, of admiration and wonder at my excessive love--of doubt +that she could have been fortunate enough to inspire me with a +passion so perfect--of earnest entreaty that I would abandon my +intention of following her, and seek elsewhere a lot more worthy +of me, and which, she said, I could never hope to find with her. + +"In spite of the cruellest inflictions of Fate, I derived +comfort from her looks, and from the conviction that I now +possessed her undivided affection. I had in truth lost all that +other men value; but I was the master of Manon's heart, the only +possession that I prized. Whether in Europe or in America, of +what moment to me was the place of my abode, provided I might +live happy in the society of my mistress? Is not the universe +the residence of two fond and faithful lovers? Does not each +find in the other, father, mother, friends, relations, riches, +felicity? + +"If anything caused me uneasiness, it was the fear of seeing +Manon exposed to want. I fancied myself already with her in a +barbarous country, inhabited by savages. `I am quite certain,' +said I, `there will be none there more cruel than G---- M---- and +my father. They will, at least, allow us to live in peace. If +the accounts we read of savages be true, they obey the laws of +nature: they neither know the mean rapacity of avarice, nor the +false and fantastic notions of dignity, which have raised me up +an enemy in my own father. They will not harass and persecute +two lovers, when they see us adopt their own simple habits.' I +was therefore at ease upon that point. + +"But my romantic ideas were not formed with a proper view to the +ordinary wants of life. I had too often found that there were +necessaries which could not be dispensed with, particularly by a +young and delicate woman, accustomed to comfort and abundance. I +was in despair at having so fruitlessly emptied my purse, and the +little money that now remained was about being forced from me by +the rascally imposition of the gendarmes. I imagined that a very +trifling sum would suffice for our support for some time in +America, where money was scarce, and might also enable me to form +some undertaking there for our permanent establishment. + +"This idea made me resolve on writing to Tiberge, whom I had +ever found ready to hold out the generous hand of friendship. I +wrote from the first town we passed through. I only alluded to +the destitute condition in which I foresaw that I should find +myself on arriving at Havre-de-Grace, to which place I +acknowledged that I was accompanying Manon. I asked him for only +fifty pistoles. `You can remit it to me,' said I to him, +`through the hands of the postmaster. You must perceive that it +is the last time I can by possibility trespass on your friendly +kindness; and my poor unhappy mistress being about to be exiled +from her country for ever, I cannot let her depart without +supplying her with some few comforts, to soften the sufferings of +her lot, as well as to assuage my own sorrows.' + +"The gendarmes became so rapacious when they saw the violence of +my passion, continually increasing their demands for the +slightest favours, that they soon left me penniless. Love did +not permit me to put any bounds to my liberality. At Manon's +side I was not master of myself; and it was no longer by the hour +that time was measured; rather by the duration of whole days. At +length, my funds being completely exhausted, I found myself +exposed to the brutal caprice of these six wretches who treated +me with intolerable rudeness--you yourself witnessed it at Passy. +My meeting with you was a momentary relaxation accorded me by +fate. Your compassion at the sight of my sufferings was my only +recommendation to your generous nature. The assistance which you +so liberally extended, enabled me to reach Havre, and the guards +kept their promise more faithfully than I had ventured to hope. + +"We arrived at Havre. I went to the post-office: Tiberge had +not yet had time to answer my letter. I ascertained the earliest +day I might reckon upon his answer: it could not possibly arrive +for two days longer; and by an extraordinary fatality, our vessel +was to sail on the very morning of the day when the letter might +be expected. I cannot give you an idea of my despair. `Alas!' +cried I, `even amongst the unfortunate, I am to be ever the most +wretched!' + +"Manon replied: `Alas! does a life so thoroughly miserable +deserve the care we bestow on ours? Let us die at Havre, dearest +chevalier! Let death at once put an end to our afflictions! +Shall we persevere, and go to drag on this hopeless existence in +an unknown land, where we shall, no doubt, have to encounter the +most horrible pains, since it has been their object to punish me +by exile? Let us die,' she repeated, `or do at least in mercy +rid me of life, and then you can seek another lot in the arms of +some happier lover.' + +"`No, no, Manon,' said I; `it is but too enviable a lot, in my +estimation, to be allowed to share your misfortunes.' + +"Her observations made me tremble. I saw that she was +overpowered by her afflictions. I tried to assume a more +tranquil air, in order to dissipate such melancholy thoughts of +death and despair. + +"I resolved to adopt the same course in future; and I learned by +the results, that nothing is more calculated to inspire a woman +with courage than the demonstration of intrepidity in the man she +loves. + +"When I lost all hope of receiving the expected assistance from +Tiberge, I sold my horse; the money it brought, joined to what +remained of your generous gift, amounted to the small sum of +forty pistoles; I expended eight in the purchase of some +necessary articles for Manon; and I put the remainder by, as the +capital upon which we were to rest our hopes and raise our +fortunes in America. I had no difficulty in getting admitted on +board the vessel. They were at the time looking for young men as +voluntary emigrants to the colony. The passage and provisions +were supplied gratis. I left a letter for Tiberge, which was to +go by the post next morning to Paris. It was no doubt written in +a tone calculated to affect him deeply, since it induced him to +form a resolution, which could only be carried into execution by +the tenderest and most generous sympathy for his unhappy friend. + + + +XIII + +Sunt hie etiam sua proemia laudi, +Sunt lachrymae rerum, et mentem mortalia tangunt. + +VIRGIL. + +E'en the mute walls relate the victim's fame. +And sinner's tears the good man's pity claim. + +DRYDEN. + + +"We set sail; the wind continued favourable during the entire +passage. I obtained from the captain's kindness a separate cabin +for the use of Manon and myself. He was so good as to +distinguish us from the herd of our miserable associates. I took +an opportunity, on the second day, of conciliating his +attentions, by telling him part of our unfortunate history. I +did not feel that I was guilty of any very culpable falsehood in +saying that I was the husband of Manon. He appeared to believe +it, and promised me his protection; and indeed we experienced, +during the whole passage, the most flattering evidences of his +sincerity. He took care that our table was comfortably provided; +and his attentions procured us the marked respect of our +companions in misery. The unwearied object of my solicitude was +to save Manon from every inconvenience. She felt this, and her +gratitude, together with a lively sense of the singular position +in which I had placed myself solely for her sake, rendered the +dear creature so tender and impassioned, so attentive also to my +most trifling wants, that it was between us a continual emulation +of attentions and of love. I felt no regret at quitting Europe; +on the contrary, the nearer we approached America, the more did I +feel my heart expand and become tranquil. If I had not felt a +dread of our perhaps wanting, by and by, the absolute necessaries +of life, I should have been grateful to fate for having at length +given so favourable a turn to our affairs. + +"`After a passage of two months, we at length reached the banks +of the desired river. The country offered at first sight nothing +agreeable. We saw only sterile and uninhabited plains, covered +with rushes, and some trees rooted up by the wind. No trace +either of men or animals. However, the captain having discharged +some pieces of artillery, we presently observed a group of the +inhabitants of New Orleans, who approached us with evident signs +of joy. We had not perceived the town: it is concealed upon the +side on which we approached it by a hill. We were received as +persons dropped from the clouds. + +"The poor inhabitants hastened to put a thousand questions to us +upon the state of France, and of the different provinces in which +they were born. They embraced us as brothers, and as beloved +companions, who had come to share their pains and their solitude. + +"We turned towards the town with them; but we were astonished to +perceive, as we advanced, that what we had hitherto heard spoken +of as a respectable town, was nothing more than a collection of +miserable huts. They were inhabited by five or six hundred +persons. The governor's house was a little distinguished from +the rest by its height and its position. It was surrounded by +some earthen ramparts, and a deep ditch. + +"We were first presented to him. He continued for some time in +conversation with the captain; and then advancing towards us, he +looked attentively at the women one after another: there were +thirty of them, for another troop of convicts had joined us at +Havre. After having thus inspected them, he sent for several +young men of the colony who were desirous to marry. He assigned +the handsomest women to the principal of these, and the remainder +were disposed of by lot. He had not yet addressed Manon; but +having ordered the others to depart, he made us remain. `I learn +from the captain,' said he, `that you are married, and he is +convinced by your conduct on the passage that you are both +persons of merit and of education. I have nothing to do with the +cause of your misfortunes; but if it be true that you are as +conversant with the world and society as your appearance would +indicate, I shall spare no pains to soften the severity of your +lot, and you may on your part contribute towards rendering this +savage and desert abode less disagreeable to me.' I replied in +the manner which I thought best calculated to confirm the opinion +he had formed of us. He gave orders to have a habitation +prepared for us in the town, and detained us to supper. I was +really surprised to find so much politeness in a governor of +transported convicts. In the presence of others he abstained +from enquiring about our past adventures. The conversation was +general; and in spite of our degradation, Manon and I exerted +ourselves to make it lively and agreeable. + +"At night we were conducted to the lodging prepared for us. We +found a wretched hovel composed of planks and mud, containing +three rooms on the ground, and a loft overhead. He had sent +there six chairs, and some few necessaries of life. + +"Manon appeared frightened by the first view of this melancholy +dwelling. It was on my account much more than upon her own, that +she distressed herself. When we were left to ourselves, she sat +down and wept bitterly. I attempted at first to console her; but +when she enabled me to understand that it was for my sake she +deplored our privations, and that in our common afflictions she +only considered me as the sufferer, I put on an air of +resolution, and even of content, sufficient to encourage her. + +"`What is there in my lot to lament?' said I; `I possess all +that I have ever desired. You love me, Manon, do you not? What +happiness beyond this have I ever longed for? Let us leave to +Providence the direction of our destiny; it by no means appears +to me so desperate. The governor is civil and obliging; he has +already given us marks of his consideration; he will not allow us +to want for necessaries. As to our rude hut and the squalidness +of our furniture, you might have noticed that there are few +persons in the colony better lodged or more comfortably furnished +than we are: and then you are an admirable chemist,' added I, +embracing her; `you transform everything into gold.' + +"`In that case,' she answered, `you shall be the richest man in +the universe; for, as there never was love surpassing yours, so +it is impossible for man to be loved more tenderly than you are +by me. I well know,' she continued, `that I have never merited +the almost incredible fidelity and attachment which you have +shown for me. I have often caused you annoyances, which nothing +but excessive fondness could have induced you to pardon. I have +been thoughtless and volatile; and even while loving you as I +have always done to distraction, I was never free from a +consciousness of ingratitude. But you cannot believe how much my +nature is altered; those tears which you have so frequently seen +me shed since quitting the French shore, have not been caused by +my own misfortunes. Since you began to share them with me, I +have been a stranger to selfishness: I only wept from tenderness +and compassion for you. I am inconsolable at the thought of +having given you one instant's pain during my past life. I never +cease upbraiding myself with my former inconstancy, and wondering +at the sacrifices which love has induced you to make for a +miserable and unworthy wretch, who could not, with the last drop +of her blood, compensate for half the torments she has caused +you.' + +"Her grief, the language, and the tone in which she expressed +herself, made such an impression, that I felt my heart ready to +break in me. `Take care,' said I to her, `take care, dear Manon; +I have not strength to endure such exciting marks of your +affection; I am little accustomed to the rapturous sensations +which you now kindle in my heart. Oh Heaven!' cried I, `I have +now nothing further to ask of you. I am sure of Manon's love. +That has been alone wanting to complete my happiness; I can now +never cease to be happy: my felicity is well secured.' + +"`It is indeed,' she replied, `if it depends upon me, and I +well know where I can be ever certain of finding my own happiness +centred.' + +"With these ideas, capable of turning my hut into a palace +worthy of earth's proudest monarch, I lay down to rest. America +appeared to my view the true land of milk and honey, the abode of +contentment and delight. `People should come to New Orleans,' I +often said to Manon, `who wish to enjoy the real rapture of love! +It is here that love is divested of all selfishness, all +jealousy, all inconstancy. Our countrymen come here in search of +gold; they little think that we have discovered treasures of +inestimably greater value.' + +"We carefully cultivated the governor's friendship. He bestowed +upon me, a few weeks after our arrival, a small appointment which +became vacant in the fort. Although not one of any distinction, +I gratefully accepted it as a gift of Providence, as it enabled +me to live independently of others' aid. I took a servant for +myself, and a woman for Manon. Our little establishment became +settled: nothing could surpass the regularity of my conduct, or +that of Manon; we lost no opportunity of serving or doing an act +of kindness to our neighbours. This friendly disposition, and +the mildness of our manners, secured us the confidence and +affection of the whole colony. We soon became so respected, that +we ranked as the principal persons in the town after the +governor. + +"The simplicity of our habits and occupations, and the perfect +innocence in which we lived, revived insensibly our early +feelings of devotion. Manon had never been an irreligious girl, +and I was far from being one of those reckless libertines who +delight in adding impiety and sacrilege to moral depravity: all +the disorders of our lives might be fairly ascribed to the +natural influences of youth and love. Experience had now begun +with us to do the office of age; it produced the same effect upon +us as years must have done. Our conversation, which was +generally of a serious turn, by degrees engendered a longing for +virtuous love. I first proposed this change to Manon. I knew +the principles of her heart; she was frank and natural in all her +sentiments, qualities which invariably predispose to virtue. I +said to her that there was but one thing wanting to complete our +happiness: `it is,' said I, `to invoke upon our union the +benediction of Heaven. We have both of us hearts too sensitive +and minds too refined, to continue voluntarily in the wilful +violation of so sacred a duty. It signifies nothing our having +lived while in France in such a manner, because there it was as +impossible for us not to love, as to be united by a legitimate +tie: but in America, where we are under no restraint, where we +owe no allegiance to the arbitrary distinctions of birth and +aristocratic prejudice, where besides we are already supposed to +be married, why should we not actually become so--why should we +not sanctify our love by the holy ordinances of religion? As for +me,' I added, `I offer nothing new in offering you my hand and my +heart; but I am ready to ratify it at the foot of the altar.' + +"This speech seemed to inspire her with joy. `Would you believe +it,' she replied, `I have thought of this a thousand times since +our arrival in America? The fear of annoying you has kept it +shut up in my breast. I felt that I had no pretensions to aspire +to the character of your wife.' + +"`Ah! Manon,' said I, `you should very soon be a sovereign's +consort, if I had been born to the inheritance of a crown. Let +us not hesitate; we have no obstacle to impede us: I will this +day speak to the governor on the subject, and acknowledge that we +have in this particular hitherto deceived him. Let us leave,' +added I, `to vulgar lovers the dread of the indissoluble bonds of +marriage;[1] they would not fear them if they were assured, as we +are, of the continuance of those of love.' I left Manon +enchanted by this resolution. + + +[1]Some say that Love, at sight of human ties, +Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies. + + +"I am persuaded that no honest man could disapprove of this +intention in my present situation; that is to say, fatally +enslaved as I was by a passion which I could not subdue, and +visited by compunction and remorse which I ought not to stifle. +But will any man charge me with injustice or impiety if I +complain of the rigour of Heaven in defeating a design that I +could only have formed with the view of conciliating its favour +and complying with its decrees? Alas I do I say defeated? nay +punished as a new crime. I was patiently permitted to go blindly +along the high road of vice; and the cruellest chastisements were +reserved for the period when I was returning to the paths of +virtue. I now fear that I shall have hardly fortitude enough +left to recount the most disastrous circumstances that ever +occurred to any man. + +"I waited upon the governor, as I had settled with Manon, to +procure his consent to the ceremony of our marriage. I should +have avoided speaking to him or to any other person upon the +subject, if I had imagined that his chaplain, who was the only +minister in the town, would have performed the office for me +without his knowledge; but not daring to hope that he would do so +privately, I determined to act ingenuously in the matter. + +"The governor had a nephew named Synnelet, of whom he was +particularly fond. He was about thirty; brave, but of a +headstrong and violent disposition. He was not married. Manon's +beauty had struck him on the first day of our arrival; and the +numberless opportunities he had of seeing her during the last +nine or ten months, had so inflamed his passion, that he was +absolutely pining for her in secret. However, as he was +convinced in common with his uncle and the whole colony that I +was married, he put such a restraint upon his feelings, that they +remained generally unnoticed; and he lost no opportunity of +showing the most disinterested friendship for me. + +"He happened to be with his uncle when I arrived at the +government house. I had no reason for keeping my intention a +secret from him, so that I explained myself without hesitation in +his presence. The governor heard me with his usual kindness. I +related to him a part of my history, to which he listened with +evident interest; and when I requested his presence at the +intended ceremony, he was so generous as to say, that he must be +permitted to defray the expenses of the succeeding entertainment. +I retired perfectly satisfied. + +"In an hour after, the chaplain paid me a visit. I thought he +was come to prepare me by religious instruction for the sacred +ceremony; but, after a cold salutation, he announced to me in two +words, that the governor desired I would relinquish all thoughts +of such a thing, for that he had other views for Manon. + +"`Other views for Manon!' said I, as I felt my heart sink +within me; `what views then can they be, chaplain?' + +"He replied, that I must be, of course, aware that the governor +was absolute master here; that Manon, having been transported +from France to the colony, was entirely at his disposal; that, +hitherto he had not exercised his right, believing that she was a +married woman; but that now, having learned from my own lips that +it was not so, he had resolved to assign her to M. Synnelet, who +was passionately in love with her. + +"My indignation overcame my prudence. Irritated as I was, I +desired the chaplain instantly to quit my house, swearing at the +same time that neither governor, Synnelet, nor the whole colony +together, should lay hands upon my wife, or mistress, if they +chose so to call her. + +"I immediately told Manon of the distressing message I had just +received. We conjectured that Synnelet had warped his uncle's +mind after my departure, and that it was all the effect of a +premeditated design. They were, questionless, the stronger +party. We found ourselves in New Orleans, as in the midst of the +ocean, separated from the rest of the world by an immense +interval of space. In a country perfectly unknown, a desert, or +inhabited, if not by brutes, at least by savages quite as +ferocious, to what corner could we fly? I was respected in the +town, but I could not hope to excite the people in my favour to +such a degree as to derive assistance from them proportioned to +the impending danger: money was requisite for that purpose, and I +was poor. Besides, the success of a popular commotion was +uncertain; and if we failed in the attempt, our doom would be +inevitably sealed. + +"I revolved these thoughts in my mind; I mentioned them in part +to Manon; I found new ones, without waiting for her replies; I +determined upon one course, and then abandoned that to adopt +another; I talked to myself, and answered my own thoughts aloud; +at length I sank into a kind of hysterical stupor that I can +compare to nothing, because nothing ever equalled it. Manon +observed my emotion, and from its violence, judged how imminent +was our danger; and, apprehensive more on my account than on her +own, the dear girl could not even venture to give expression to +her fears. + +"After a multitude of reflections, I resolved to call upon the +governor, and appeal to his feelings of honour, to the +recollection of my unvarying respect for him, and the marks he +had given of his own affection for us both. Manon endeavoured to +dissuade me from this attempt: she said, with tears in her eyes, +`You are rushing into the jaws of death; they will murder you--I +shall never again see you--I am determined to die before you.' I +had great difficulty in persuading her that it was absolutely +necessary that I should go, and that she should remain at home. +I promised that she should see me again in a few moments. She +did not foresee, nor did I, that it was against herself the whole +anger of Heaven, and the rabid fury of our enemies, was about to +be concentrated. + +"I went to the fort: the governor was there with his chaplain. +I supplicated him in a tone of humble submission that I could +have ill brooked under other circumstances. I invoked his +clemency by every argument calculated to soften any heart less +ferocious and cruel than a tiger's. + +"The barbarian made to all my prayers but two short answers, +which he repeated over and over again. `Manon,' he said, `was at +his disposal: and he had given a promise to his nephew.' I was +resolved to command my feelings to the last: I merely replied, +that I had imagined he was too sincerely my friend to desire my +death, to which I would infinitely rather consent than to the +loss of my mistress. + +"I felt persuaded, on quitting him, that it was folly to expect +anything from the obstinate tyrant, who would have damned himself +a hundred times over to please his nephew. However, I persevered +in restraining my temper to the end; deeply resolved, if they +persisted in such flagrant injustice, to make America the scene +of one of the most horrible and bloody murders that even love had +ever led to. + +"I was, on my return home, meditating upon this design, when +fate, as if impatient to expedite my ruin, threw Synnelet in my +way. He read in my countenance a portion of my thoughts. I +before said, he was brave. He approached me. + +"`Are you not seeking me?' he enquired. `I know that my +intentions have given you mortal offence, and that the death of +one of us is indispensable: let us see who is to be the happy +man.' + +"I replied, that such was unquestionably the fact, and that +nothing but death could end the difference between us. + +"We retired about one hundred paces out of the town. We drew: I +wounded and disarmed him at the first onset. He was so enraged, +that he peremptorily refused either to ask his life or renounce +his claims to Manon. I might have been perhaps justified in +ending both by a single blow; but noble blood ever vindicates its +origin. I threw him back his sword. `Let us renew the +struggle,' said I to him, `and remember that there shall be now +no quarter.' He attacked me with redoubled fury. I must confess +that I was not an accomplished swordsman, having had but three +months' tuition in Paris. Love, however, guided my weapon. +Synnelet pierced me through and through the left arm; but I +caught him whilst thus engaged, and made so vigorous a thrust +that I stretched him senseless at my feet. + +"In spite of the triumphant feeling that victory, after a mortal +conflict, inspires, I was immediately horrified by the certain +consequences of his death. There could not be the slightest hope +of either pardon or respite from the vengeance I had thus +incurred. Aware, as I was, of the affection of the governor for +his nephew, I felt perfectly sure that my death would not be +delayed a single hour after his should become known. `Urgent as +this apprehension was, it still was by no means the principal +source of my uneasiness. Manon, the welfare of Manon, the peril +that impended over her, and the certainty of my being now at +length separated from her, afflicted me to such a degree, that I +was incapable of recognising the place in which I stood. I +regretted Synnelet's death: instant suicide seemed the only +remedy for my woes. + +"However, it was this very thought that quickly restored me to +my reason, and enabled me to form a resolution. `What,' said I +to myself, `die, in order to end my pain! Then there is +something I dread more than the loss of all I love! No, let me +suffer the cruellest extremities in order to aid her; and when +these prove of no avail, fly to death as a last resource!' + +"I returned towards the town; on my arrival at home, I found +Manon half dead with fright and anxiety: my presence restored +her. I could not conceal from her the terrible accident that had +happened. On my mentioning the death of Synnelet and my own +wound, she fell in a state of insensibility into my arms. It was +a quarter of an hour before I could bring her again to her +senses. + +"I was myself in a most deplorable state of mind; I could not +discern the slightest prospect of safety for either of us. +`Manon,' said I to her, when she had recovered a little, `what +shall we do? Alas, what hope remains to us? I must necessarily +fly. Will you remain in the town? Yes dearest Manon, do remain; +you may possibly still be happy here; while I, far away from you, +may seek death and find it amongst the savages, or the wild +beasts.' + +"She raised herself in spite of her weakness, and taking hold of +my hand to lead me towards the door: `Let us,' said she, `fly +together, we have not a moment to lose; Synnelet's body may be +found by chance, and we shall then have no time to escape.' +`But, dear Manon,' replied I, `to what place can we fly? Do you +perceive any resource? Would it not be better that you should +endeavour to live on without me; and that I should go and +voluntarily place my life in the governor's hands?' + +"This proposal had only the effect of making her more impatient +for our departure. I had presence of mind enough, on going out, +to take with me some strong liquors which I had in my chamber, +and as much food as I could carry in my pockets. We told our +servants, who were in the adjoining room, that we were going to +take our evening walk, as was our invariable habit; and we left +the town behind us more rapidly than I had thought possible from +Manon's delicate state of health. + +"Although I had not formed any resolve as to our future +destination, I still cherished a hope, without which I should +have infinitely preferred death to my suspense about Manon's +safety. I had acquired a sufficient knowledge of the country, +during nearly ten months which I had now passed in America, to +know in what manner the natives should be approached. Death was +not the necessary consequence of falling into their hands. I had +learned a few words of their language, and some of their customs, +having had many opportunities of seeing them. + +"Besides this sad resource, I derived some hopes from the fact, +that the English had, like ourselves, established colonies in +this part of the New World. But the distance was terrific. In +order to reach them, we should have to traverse deserts of many +days' journey, and more than one range of mountains so steep and +vast as to seem almost impassable to the strongest man. I +nevertheless flattered myself that we might derive partial relief +from one or other of these sources: the savages might serve us as +guides, and the English receive us in their settlements. + +"We journeyed on as long as Manon's strength would permit, that +is to say, about six miles; for this incomparable creature, with +her usual absence of selfishness, refused my repeated entreaties +to stop. Overpowered at length by fatigue, she acknowledged the +utter impossibility of proceeding farther. It was already night: +we sat down in the midst of an extensive plain, where we could +not even find a tree to shelter us. Her first care was to dress +my wound, which she had bandaged before our departure. I, in +vain, entreated her to desist from exertion: it would have only +added to her distress if I had refused her the satisfaction of +seeing me at ease and out of danger, before her own wants were +attended to. I allowed her therefore to gratify herself, and in +shame and silence submitted to her delicate attentions. + +"But when she had completed her tender task, with what ardour +did I not enter upon mine! I took off my clothes and stretched +them under her, to render more endurable the hard and rugged +ground on which she lay. I protected her delicate hands from the +cold by my burning kisses and the warmth of my sighs. I passed +the livelong night in watching over her as she slept, and praying +Heaven to refresh her with soft and undisturbed repose. `You can +bear witness, just and all-seeing God! to the fervour and +sincerity of those prayers, and Thou alone knowest with what +awful rigour they were rejected.' + +"You will excuse me, if I now cut short a story which it +distresses me beyond endurance to relate. It is, I believe, a +calamity without parallel. I can never cease to deplore it. But +although it continues, of course, deeply and indelibly impressed +on my memory, yet my heart seems to shrink within me each time +that I attempt the recital. + +"We had thus tranquilly passed the night. I had fondly imagined +that my beloved mistress was in a profound sleep, and I hardly +dared to breathe lest I should disturb her. As day broke, I +observed that her hands were cold and trembling; I pressed them +to my bosom in the hope of restoring animation. This movement +roused her attention, and making an effort to grasp my hand, she +said, in a feeble voice, that she thought her last moments had +arrived. + +"I, at first, took this for a passing weakness, or the ordinary +language of distress; and I answered with the usual consolations +that love prompted. But her incessant sighs, her silence, and +inattention to my enquiries, the convulsed grasp of her hands, in +which she retained mine, soon convinced me that the crowning end +of all my miseries was approaching. + +"Do not now expect me to attempt a description of my feelings, +or to repeat her dying expressions. I lost her--I received the +purest assurances of her love even at the very instant that her +spirit fled. I have not nerve to say more upon this fatal and +disastrous event. + +"My spirit was not destined to accompany Manon's. Doubtless, +Heaven did not as yet consider me sufficiently punished, and +therefore ordained that I should continue to drag on a languid +and joyless existence. I willingly renounced every hope of +leading a happy one. + +"I remained for twenty-four hours without taking my lips from +the still beauteous countenance and hands of my adored Manon. My +intention was to await my own death in that position; but at the +beginning of the second day, I reflected that, after I was gone, +she must of necessity become the prey of wild beasts. I then +determined to bury her, and wait my own doom upon her grave. I +was already, indeed, so near my end from the combined effect of +long fasting and grief, that it was with the greatest difficulty +I could support myself standing. I was obliged to have recourse +to the liquors which I had brought with me, and these restored +sufficient strength to enable me to set about my last sad office. +From the sandy nature of the soil there was little trouble in +opening the ground. I broke my sword and used it for the +purpose; but my bare hands were of greater service. I dug a deep +grave, and there deposited the idol of my heart, after having +wrapt around her my clothes to prevent the sand from touching +her. I kissed her ten thousand times with all the ardour of the +most glowing love, before I laid her in this melancholy bed. I +sat for some time upon the bank intently gazing on her, and could +not command fortitude enough to close the grave over her. At +length, feeling that my strength was giving way, and apprehensive +of its being entirely exhausted before the completion of my task, +I committed to the earth all that it had ever contained most +perfect and peerless. I then lay myself with my face down upon +the grave, and closing my eyes with the determination never again +to open them, I invoked the mercy of Heaven, and ardently prayed +for death. + +"You will find it difficult to believe that, during the whole +time of this protracted and distressing ceremony, not a tear or a +sigh escaped to relieve my agony. The state of profound +affliction in which I was, and the deep settled resolution I had +taken to die, had silenced the sighs of despair, and effectually +dried up the ordinary channels of grief. It was thus impossible +for me, in this posture upon the grave, to continue for any time +in possession of my faculties. + +"After what you have listened to, the remainder of my own +history would ill repay the attention you seem inclined to bestow +upon it. Synnelet having been carried into the town and +skilfully examined, it was found that, so far from being dead, he +was not even dangerously wounded. He informed his uncle of the +manner in which the affray had occurred between us, and he +generously did justice to my conduct on the occasion. I was sent +for; and as neither of us could be found, our flight was +immediately suspected. It was then too late to attempt to trace +me, but the next day and the following one were employed in the +pursuit. + +"I was found, without any appearance of life, upon the grave of +Manon: and the persons who discovered me in this situation, +seeing that I was almost naked and bleeding from my wounds, +naturally supposed that I had been robbed and assassinated. They +carried me into the town. The motion restored me to my senses. +The sighs I heaved on opening my eyes and finding myself still +amongst the living, showed that I was not beyond the reach of +art: they were but too successful in its application. + +"I was immediately confined as a close prisoner. My trial was +ordered; and as Manon was not forthcoming, I was accused of +having murdered her from rage and jealousy. I naturally related +all that had occurred. Synnelet, though bitterly grieved and +disappointed by what he heard, had the generosity to solicit my +pardon: he obtained it. + +"I was so reduced, that they were obliged to carry me from the +prison to my bed, and there I suffered for three long months +under severe illness. My aversion from life knew no diminution. +I continually prayed for death, and obstinately for some time +refused every remedy. But Providence, after having punished me +with atoning rigour, saw fit to turn to my own use its +chastisements and the memory of my multiplied sorrows. It at +length deigned to shed upon me its redeeming light, and revived +in my mind ideas worthy of my birth and my early education. + +"My tranquillity of mind being again restored, my cure speedily +followed. I began only to feel the highest aspirations of +honour, and diligently performed the duties of my appointment, +whilst expecting the arrival of the vessels from France, which +were always due at this period of the year. I resolved to return +to my native country, there to expiate the scandal of my former +life by my future good conduct. Synnelet had the remains of my +dear mistress removed into a more hallowed spot. + +"It was six weeks after my recovery that, one day walking alone +upon the banks of the river, I saw a vessel arrive, which some +mercantile speculation had directed to New Orleans. I stood by +whilst the passengers landed. Judge my surprise on recognising +Tiberge amongst those who proceeded towards the town. This +ever-faithful friend knew me at a distance, in spite of the +ravages which care and sorrow had worked upon my countenance. He +told me that the sole object of his voyage had been to see me +once more, and to induce me to return with him to France; that on +receipt of the last letter which I had written to him from Havre, +he started for that place, and was himself the bearer of the +succour which I solicited; that he had been sensibly affected on +learning my departure, and that he would have instantly followed +me, if there had been a vessel bound for the same destination; +that he had been for several months endeavouring to hear of one +in the various seaport towns, and that, having at length found +one at St. Malo which was weighing anchor for Martinique, he +embarked, in the expectation of easily passing from thence to New +Orleans; that the St. Malo vessel having been captured by Spanish +pirates and taken to one of their islands, he had contrived to +escape; and that, in short, after many adventures, he had got on +board the vessel which had just arrived, and at length happily +attained his object. + +"I was totally unable adequately to express my feelings of +gratitude to this generous and unshaken friend. I conducted him +to my house, and placed all I possessed at his service. I +related to him every circumstance that had occurred to me since I +left France: and in order to gladden him with tidings which I +knew he did not expect, I assured him that the seeds of virtue +which he had in former days implanted in my heart, were now about +to produce fruit, of which even he should be proud. He declared +to me, that this gladdening announcement more than repaid him for +all the fatigue and trouble he had endured. + +"We passed two months together at New Orleans whilst waiting the +departure of a vessel direct to France; and having at length +sailed, we landed only a fortnight since at Havre-de-Grace. On +my arrival I wrote to my family. By a letter from my elder +brother, I there learned my father's death, which, I dread to +think, the disorders of my youth might have hastened. The wind +being favourable for Calais, I embarked for this port, and am now +going to the house of one of my relations who lives a few miles off, +where my brother said that he should anxiously await my arrival." + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Etext of Manon Lescaut by the Abbe Prevost + diff --git a/old/lesco10.zip b/old/lesco10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e004977 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/lesco10.zip |
