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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/4659-h.zip b/4659-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..29b4b8f --- /dev/null +++ b/4659-h.zip diff --git a/4659-h/4659-h.htm b/4659-h/4659-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4be938e --- /dev/null +++ b/4659-h/4659-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,5111 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<HTML> +<HEAD> + +<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> + +<TITLE> +The Project Gutenberg E-text of Lady Hester, by Charlotte M. Yonge +</TITLE> + +<STYLE TYPE="text/css"> +BODY { color: Black; + background: White; + margin-right: 10%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; + text-align: justify } + +P {text-indent: 4% } + +P.noindent {text-indent: 0% } + +P.poem {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-size: small } + +P.letter {text-indent: 0%; + font-size: small ; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.finis { font-size: larger ; + text-align: center ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +</STYLE> + +</HEAD> + +<BODY> + + +<pre> + +Project Gutenberg's Lady Hester, or Ursula's Narrative, by Charlotte M. Yonge + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Lady Hester, or Ursula's Narrative + +Author: Charlotte M. Yonge + +Posting Date: July 19, 2009 [EBook #4659] +Release Date: November, 2003 +First Posted: February 23, 2002 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LADY HESTER, OR URSULA'S NARRATIVE *** + + + + +Produced by Sandra Laythorpe. HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + +</pre> + + +<BR><BR> + +<H1 ALIGN="center"> +LADY HESTER; +</H1> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +OR, +</H3> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +URSULA'S NARRATIVE. +</H2> + +<BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +by +</H3> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +CHARLOTTE M. YONGE +</H2> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +CONTENTS. +</H2> + +<H4> +CHAPTER I. <A HREF="#chap01">SAULT ST. PIERRE</A> +<BR> +CHAPTER II. <A HREF="#chap02">TREVORSHAM</A> +<BR> +CHAPTER III. <A HREF="#chap03">THE PEERAGE CASE</A> +<BR> +CHAPTER IV. <A HREF="#chap04">SKIMPING'S FARM</A> +<BR> +CHAPTER V. <A HREF="#chap05">SPINNEY LAWN</A> +<BR> +CHAPTER VI. <A HREF="#chap06">THE WHITE DOE'S WARNING</A> +<BR> +CHAPTER VII. <A HREF="#chap07">HUNTING</A> +<BR> +CHAPTER VIII. <A HREF="#chap08">DUCK SHOOTING</A> +<BR> +CHAPTER IX. <A HREF="#chap09">TREVOR'S LEGACY</A> +</H4> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap01"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER I. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +SAULT ST. PIERRE. +</H3> + +<P> +I write this by desire of my brothers and sisters, that if any reports +of our strange family history should come down to after generations the +thing may be properly understood. +</P> + +<P> +The old times at Trevorsham seem to me so remote, that I can hardly +believe that we are the same who were so happy then. Nay, Jaquetta +laughs, and declares that it is not possible to be happier than we have +been since, and Fulk would have me remember that all was not always +smooth even in those days. +</P> + +<P> +Perhaps not—for him, at least, dear fellow, in those latter times; but +when I think of the old home, the worst troubles that rise before me +are those of the back-board and the stocks, French in the school-room, +and Miss Simmonds' "Lady Ursula, think of your position!" +</P> + +<P> +And as to Jaquetta, she was born under a more benignant star. Nobody +could have put a back-board on her any more than on a kitten. +</P> + +<P> +Our mother had died (oh! how happily for herself!) when Jaquetta was a +baby, and Miss Simmonds most carefully ruled not only over us, but over +Adela Brainerd, my father's ward, who was brought up with us because +she had no other relation in the world. +</P> + +<P> +Besides, my father wished her to marry one of my brothers. It would +have done very well for either Torwood or Bertram, but unluckily, as it +seemed, neither of them could take to the notion. She was a dear +little thing, to be sure, and we were all very fond of her; but, as +Bertram said, it would have been like marrying Jaquetta, and Torwood +had other views, to which my father would not then listen. +</P> + +<P> +Then Bertram's regiment was ordered to Canada, and that was the real +cause of it all, though we did not know it till long after. +</P> + +<P> +Bertram was starting out on a sporting expedition with a Canadian +gentleman, when about ten miles from Montreal they halted at a farm +with a good well-built house, named Sault St. Pierre, all looking +prosperous and comfortable, and a young farmer, American in his +ways—free-spoken, familiar, and blunt—but very kindly and friendly, +was at work there with some French-Canadian labourers. +</P> + +<P> +Bertram's friend knew him and often halted there on hunting +expeditions, so they went into the house—very nicely furnished, a +pretty parlour with muslin curtains, a piano, and everything pleasant; +and Joel Lea called his wife, a handsome, fair young woman. Bertram +says from the first she put him in mind of some one, and he was trying +to make out who it could be. Then came the wife's mother, a neat +little delicate, bent woman, with dark eyes, that looked, Bertram said, +as if they had had some great fright and never recovered it. They +called her Mrs. Dayman. +</P> + +<P> +She was silent at first, and only helped her daughter and the maid to +get the dinner, and an excellent dinner it was; but she kept on looking +at Bertram, and she quite started when she heard him called Mr. Trevor. +When they were just rising up, and going to take leave, she came up to +him in a frightened agitated manner, as if she could not help it, and +said— +</P> + +<P> +"Sir, you are so like a gentleman I once knew. Was any relation of +yours ever in Canada?" +</P> + +<P> +"My father was in Canada," answered Bertram. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh no," she said then, very much affected, "the Captain Trevor I knew +was killed in the Lake Campaign in 1814. It must be a mistake, yet you +put me in mind of him so strangely." +</P> + +<P> +Then Bertram protested that she must mean my father, for that he had +been a captain in the —th, and had been stationed at York (as Toronto +was then called), but was badly wounded in repulsing the American +attack on the Lakes in 1814. +</P> + +<P> +"Not dead?" she asked, with her cheeks getting pale, and a sort of +excitement about her, that made Bertram wonder, at the moment, if there +could have been any old attachment between them, and he explained how +my father was shipped off from England between life and death; and how, +when he recovered, he found his uncle dying, and the title and property +coming to him. +</P> + +<P> +"And he married!" she said, with a bewildered look; and Bertram told +her that he had married Lady Mary Lupton—as his uncle and father had +wished—and how we four were their children. I can fancy how kindly +and tenderly Bertram would speak when he saw that she was anxious and +pained; and she took hold of his hand and held him, and when he said +something of mentioning that he had seen her, she cried out with a sort +of terror, "Oh no, no, Mr. Trevor, I beg you will not. Let him think +me dead, as I thought him." And then she drew down Bertram's tall head +to her, and fairly kissed his forehead, adding, "I could not help it, +sir; an old woman's kiss will do you no harm!" +</P> + +<P> +Then he went away. He never did tell us of the meeting till long +after. He was not a great letter writer, and, besides, he thought my +father might not wish to have the flirtations of his youth brought up +against him. So we little knew! +</P> + +<P> +But it seems that the daughter and son-in-law were just as much amazed +as Bertram, and when he was gone, and the poor old lady sank into her +chair and burst out crying, and as they came and asked who or what this +was, she sobbed out, "Your brother Hester! Oh! so like him—my +husband!" or something to that effect, as unawares. She wanted to take +it back again, but of course Hester would not let her, and made her +tell the whole. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that her name was Faith Le Blanc; she was half English, half +French-Canadian, and lived in a village in a very unsettled part, where +Captain Trevor used to come to hunt, and where he made love to her, and +ended by marrying her—with the knowledge of her family and his brother +officers, but not of his family—just before he was ordered to the Lake +frontier. The war had stirred up the Indians to acts of violence they +had not committed for many years, and a tribe of them came down on the +village, plundering, burning, killing, and torturing those whom they +had known in friendly intercourse. +</P> + +<P> +Faith Le Blanc had once given some milk to a papoose upon its mother's +back, and perhaps for this reason she was spared, but everyone +belonging to her was, she believed, destroyed, and she was carried away +by the tribe, who wanted to make her one of themselves; and she knew +that if she offended them, such horrors as she had seen practised on +others would come on her. +</P> + +<P> +However, they had gone to another resort of theirs, where there was a +young hunter who often visited them, and was on friendly terms. When +he found that there was a white woman living as a captive among them, +he spared no effort to rescue her. Both he and she were often in +exceeding danger; but he contrived her escape at last, and brought her +through the woods to a place of safety, and there her child was born. +</P> + +<P> +It was over the American frontier, and it was long before she could +write to her husband. She never knew what became of her letter, but +the hunter friend, Piers Dayman, showed her an American paper which +mentioned Captain Trevor among the officers killed in their attack. +Dayman was devoted to her, and insisted on marrying her, and bringing +up her daughter as his own. I fancy she was a woman of gentle passive +temper, and had been crushed and terrified by all she had gone through, +so as to have little instinct left but that of clinging to the +protector who had taken her up when she had lost everything else; and +she married him. Nor did Hester guess till that very day that Piers +Dayman was not her father! +</P> + +<P> +There were other children, sons who have given themselves to hunting +and trapping in the Hudson's Bay Company's territory; but Hester +remained the only daughter, and they educated her well, sending her to +a convent at Montreal, where she learnt a good many accomplishments. +They were not Roman Catholics; but it was the only way of getting an +education. +</P> + +<P> +Dayman must have been a warm-hearted, tenderly affectionate person. +Hester loved him very much. But he had lived a wild sportsman's life, +and never was happy at rest. They changed home often; and at last he +was snowed up and frozen to death, with one of his boys, on a bear +hunting expedition. +</P> + +<P> +Not very long after, Hester married this sturdy American, Joel Lea, who +had bought some land on the Canadian side of the border, and her mother +came home to live with them. They had been married four or five years, +but none of their children had lived. +</P> + +<P> +So it was when the discovery came upon poor old Mrs. Dayman (I do not +know what else to call her), that Fulk Torwood Trevor, the husband of +her youth, was not dead, but was Earl of Trevorsham; married, and the +father of four children in England. +</P> + +<P> +Poor old thing! She would have buried her secret to the last, as much +in pity and love to him as in shame and grief for herself; and +consideration, too, for the sons, for whom the discovery was only less +bad than for us, as they had less to lose. Hester herself hardly fully +understood what it all involved, and it only gradually grew on her. +</P> + +<P> +That winter her mother fell ill, and Mr. Lea felt it right that the +small property she had had for her life should be properly secured to +her sons, according to the division their father had intended. So a +lawyer was brought from Montreal and her will was made. Thus another +person knew about it, and he was much struck, and explained to Hester +that she was really a lady of rank, and probably the only child of her +father who had any legal claim to his estates. Lea, with a good deal +of the old American Republican temper, would not be stirred up. He +despised lords and ladies, and would none of it; but the lawyer held +that it would be doing wrong not to preserve the record. Hester had +grown excited, and seconded him; and one day, when Lea was out, the +lawyer brought a magistrate to take Mrs. Dayman's affidavit as to all +her past history—marriage witnesses and all. She was a good deal +overcome and agitated, and quite implored Hester never to use the +knowledge against her father; but she must have been always a passive, +docile being, and they made her tell all that was wanted, and sign her +deposition, as she had signed her will, as Faith Trevor, commonly known +as Faith Dayman. +</P> + +<P> +She did not live many days after. It was on the 3rd of February, 1836, +that she died; and in the course of the summer Hester had a son, who +throve as none of her babies had done. +</P> + +<P> +Then she lay and brooded over him and the rights she fancied he was +deprived of, till she worked herself up to a strong and fixed purpose, +and insisted upon making all known to her father. Now that her mother +was gone she persuaded herself that he had been a cruel, faithless +tyrant, who had wilfully deserted his young wife. +</P> + +<P> +Joel Lea would not listen to her. Why should she wish to make his son +a good-for-nothing English lord? That was his view. Nothing but +misery, distress, and temptation could come of not letting things +alone. He held to that, and there were no means forthcoming either of +coming to England to present herself. The family were well to do, but +had no ready money to lay out on a passage across the Atlantic. Nor +would Hester wait. She had persuaded herself that a letter would be +suppressed, even if she had known how to address it; but to claim her +son's rights, and make an earl of him, had become her fixed idea, and +she began laying aside every farthing in her power. +</P> + +<P> +In this she was encouraged, not by the lawyer who had made the +will—and who, considering that poor Faith's witnesses had been +destroyed, and her certificate and her wedding ring taken from her by +the Indians, thought that the marriage could not be substantiated—but +by a clever young clerk, who had managed to find out the state of +things; a man named Perrault, who used to come to the farm, always when +Lea was out, and talk her into a further state of excitement about her +child's expectations, and the injuries she was suffering. It was her +one idea. She says she really believes she should have gone mad if the +saving had not occupied her; and a very dreary life poor Joel must have +had whilst she was scraping together the passage-money. He still +steadily and sternly disapproved the whole, and when at two years' end +she had put together enough to bring her and her boy home, and maintain +them there for a few weeks, he still refused to go with her. The last +thing he said was, "Remember, Hester, what was the price of all the +kingdoms of the world! Thou wilt have it, then! Would that I could +say, my blessing go with thee." And he took his child, and held him +long in his arms, and never spoke one word over him but, "My poor boy!" +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap02"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER II. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +TREVORSHAM +</H3> + +<P> +I suppose I had better tell what we had been doing all this time. Adela +and I had come out, and had a season or two in London, and my father +had enjoyed our pleasure in it, and paid a good deal of court to our +pretty Adela, because there was no driving Torwood into anything warmer +than easy brotherly companionship. +</P> + +<P> +In fact, Torwood had never cared for anyone but little Emily Deerhurst. +Once he had come to her rescue, when she was only nine or ten years +old, and her schoolboy cousins were teasing her, and at every +Twelfth-day party since she and he had come together as by right. +There was something irresistible in her great soft plaintive brown +eyes, though she was scarcely pretty otherwise, and we used to call her +the White Doe of Rylstone. Torwood was six or seven years older, and +no one supposed that he seriously cared for her, till she was sixteen. +Then, when my father spoke point blank to him about Adela, he was +driven into owning what he wished. +</P> + +<P> +My father thought it utter absurdity. The connection was not pleasant +to him; Mrs. Deerhurst was always looked on as a designing widow, who +managed to marry off her daughters cleverly, and he could believe no +good of Emily. +</P> + +<P> +Now Adela always had more power with papa than any of us. She had a +coaxing way, which his stately old-school courtesy never could resist. +She used when we were children to beg for holidays, and get treats for +us; and even now, many a request which we should never have dared to +utter, she could, with her droll arch way, make him think the most +sensible thing in the world. +</P> + +<P> +What odd things people can do who have lived together like brothers and +sisters! I can hardly help laughing when I think of Torwood coming +disconsolately up from the library, and replying, in answer to our +vigorous demands, that his lordship had some besotted notion past all +reason. +</P> + +<P> +Then we pressed him harder—Adela with indignation, and I with +sympathy—till we forced out of him that he had been forbidden ever to +think or speak again of Emily, and all his faith in her laughed to +scorn, as delusions induced by Mrs. Deerhurst. +</P> + +<P> +"I'm sure I hope you'll take Ormerod, Adela," I remember he ended; +"then at least you would be out of the way." +</P> + +<P> +For Sir John Ormerod's courtship was an evident fact to all the family, +as, indeed, Adela was heiress enough to be a good deal troubled with +suitors, though she had hitherto managed to make them all keep their +distance. +</P> + +<P> +Adela laughed at him for his kind wishes, but I could see she meant to +plead for him. She had her chance, for Sir John Ormerod brought +matters to a crisis at the next ball; and though she thought, as she +said, "she had settled him," he followed it up with her guardian, and +Adela was invited to a conference in the library. +</P> + +<P> +It happened that as she ran upstairs, all in a glow, she came on +Torwood at the landing. She couldn't help saying in her odd +half-laughing, half-crying voice— +</P> + +<P> +"It will come right, Torwood; I've made terms, I'm out of your way." +</P> + +<P> +"Not Ormerod!" he exclaimed. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh! no, no!" I can hear her dash of scorn now, for I was just behind +my brother, but she went on out of breath— +</P> + +<P> +"You may go on seeing her, provided you don't say a word—till—till +she's been out two years." +</P> + +<P> +"Adela! you queen of girls, how have you done it?" he began, but she +thrust him aside and flew up into my arms; and when I had her in her +own room it came out, I hardly know how, that she had so shown that she +cared for no one she had ever seen except my father, that they found +they <I>did</I> love each other; and—and—in short they were going to be +married. +</P> + +<P> +Really it seemed much less wonderful then than it does in thinking of +it afterwards. My father was much handsomer than any young man I ever +saw, with a hawk nose, a clear rosy skin, pure pink and white like a +boy's, curly little rings of white hair, blue eyes clear and bright as +the sky, a tall upright soldierly figure, and a magnificent stately +bearing, courteous and grand to all, but sweetly tender to a very few, +and to her above all. It always had been so ever since he had brought +her home an orphan of six years old from her mother's death-bed at +Nice. And he was youthful, could ride or hunt all day without so much +fatigue as either of his sons, and was as fresh and eager in all his +ways as a lad. +</P> + +<P> +And she, our pretty darling! I don't think Torwood and I in the least +felt the incongruity of her becoming our step-mother, only that papa +was making her more entirely his own. +</P> + +<P> +I am glad we did not mar the sunshine. It did not last long. She came +home thoroughly unwell from their journey to Switzerland, and never got +better. By the time the spring had come round again, she was lying in +the vault at Trevorsham, and we were trying to keep poor little Alured +alive and help my poor father to bear it. +</P> + +<P> +He was stricken to the very heart, and never was the same man again. +His age seemed to come upon him all at once; and whereas at sixty-five +he had been like a man ten years younger, he suddenly became like one +ten years older; and though he never was actually ill, he failed from +month to month. +</P> + +<P> +He could not bear the sight or sound of the poor baby. Poor Adela had +scarcely lived to hear it was a boy, and all she had said about it was, +"Ursula, you'll be his mother." And, oh! I have tried. If love would +do it, I think he could not be more even to dear Adela! +</P> + +<P> +What a frail little life it was! What nights and days we had with him; +doctors saying that skill could not do it, but care might; and nurses +knowing how to be more effective than I could be; yet while I durst not +touch him I could not bear not to see him. And I do think I was the +first person he began to know. +</P> + +<P> +Meantime, there was a great difference in Torwood. He had been very +much of a big boy hitherto. No one but myself could have guessed that +he cared for much besides a lazy kind of enjoyment of all the best and +nicest things in this world. He did what he was told, but in an +uninterested sort of way, just as if politics and county business, and +work at the estate, were just as much tasks thrust on him as Virgil and +Homer had been; and put his spirit into sporting, &c. +</P> + +<P> +But when he was allowed to think hopefully of Emily, it seemed to make +a man of him, and he took up all that he had to do, as if it really +concerned him, and was not only a burden laid on him by his father. +</P> + +<P> +And, as my father became less able to exert himself, Torwood came +forward more, and was something substantial to lean upon. Dear fellow! +I am sure he did well earn the consent he gained at last, though not +with much satisfaction, from papa. +</P> + +<P> +Emily had grown into great sweetness and grace, and Mrs. Deerhurst had +gone on very well. Of course, people were unkind enough to say, it was +only because she had such prey in view as Lord Torwood; but, whatever +withheld her, it is certain that Emily only had the most suitable and +reasonable pleasures for a young lady, and was altogether as nice, and +gentle, and sensible, as could be desired. There never was a bit of +acting in her, she was only allowed to grow in what seemed natural to +her. She was just one of the nice simple girls of that day, doing her +quiet bit of solid reading, and her practice, and her neat little +smooth pencil drawing from a print, as a kind of duty to her +accomplishments every day; and filling books with neat up-and-down MS. +copies of all the poetry that pleased her. Dainty in all her ways, +timid, submissive, and as it seemed to me, colourless. +</P> + +<P> +But Fulk taught her Wordsworth, who was his great passion then, and +found her a perfect listener to all his Tory hopes, fears, and usages. +</P> + +<P> +Papa could not help liking her when she came to stay with us, after +they were engaged, at the end of two years. He allowed that, away from +her mother and all her belongings, she would do very well; and she was +so pretty and sweet in her respectful fear of him—I might almost say +awe—that his graceful, chivalrous courtesy woke up again; and he was +beginning absolutely to enjoy her, as she became a little more +confident and understood him better. +</P> + +<P> +How well I remember that last evening! I was happier than I had been +for weeks about little Alured: the convulsions had quite gone off, the +teeth that had caused them were through, and he had been laughing and +playing on my lap quite brightly—cooing to his mother's miniature in +my locket. He was such an intelligent little fellow for eighteen +months! I came down so glad, and it was so pleasant to see Emily, in +her white dress, leaning over my father while he had gone so happily +into his old delight of showing his prints and engravings; and Torwood, +standing by the fire, watching them with the look of a conqueror, and +Jaquetta—like the absurd child she loved to be—teasing them with +ridiculous questions about their housekeeping. +</P> + +<P> +They were to have Spinney Lawn bought for them, just a mile away, and +the business was in hand. Jacquey was enquiring whether there was a +parlour for The Cid, Torwood's hunter, whom she declared was as dear to +him as Emily herself. Indeed, Emily did go out every morning after +breakfast to feed him with bread. I can see her now on Torwood's arm, +with big Rollo and little Malta rolling over one another after them. +</P> + +<P> +Then came an afternoon when we had all walked to Spinney Lawn, laid out +the gardens together, and wandered about the empty rooms, planning for +them. The birds were singing in the March sunshine, and the tomtits +were calling "peter" in the trees, and Jaquetta went racing about after +the dogs, like a thing of seven years old, instead of seventeen. And +Torwood was cutting out a root of primroses, leaves and all, for Emily, +when we saw a fly go along the lane, and wondered, with a sort of idle +wonder. We supposed it must be visitors for the parsonage, and so we +strolled home, looking for violets by the way, and Jaquetta getting +shiny studs of celandine. Ah! I remember those glistening stars were +all closed before we came back. +</P> + +<P> +Well, it must come, so it is silly to linger! There stood the fly at +the hall-door, and the butler met us, saying— +</P> + +<P> +"There's a person with his lordship, my lord. She would not wait till +you came in, though I told her he saw no one on business without you—" +</P> + +<P> +Torwood hastened on before this, expecting to see some importunate +person bothering my father with a petition. What he did see was my +father leaning back in his chair, with a white, confounded, bewildered +look, and a woman, with a child on her lap, opposite. Her back was to +the door, and Torwood's first impression was that she was a +well-dressed impostor threatening him; so he came quickly to my +father's side, and said— +</P> + +<P> +"What is it father? I'm here." +</P> + +<P> +My poor father put out his hand feebly to him, and said— +</P> + +<P> +"It is all true, Torwood. God forgive me; I did not know it!" +</P> + +<P> +"Know what?" he asked anxiously. "What is it that distresses you, +father? Let me speak to this person—" +</P> + +<P> +Then she broke out—not loud, not coarsely, but very +determinately—"No, sir; you would be very glad to suppress me, and my +child, and my evidence, no doubt; but the Earl of Trevorsham has +acknowledged the truth of my claim, and I will not leave this spot till +he has acknowledged my mother as his only lawful wife, and my child, +Trevor Lea, as his only lawful heir!" +</P> + +<P> +Torwood thought her insane and only said quietly, as he offered my +father his arm, "I will talk it over with you presently; Lord +Trevorsham is not equal to discuss it now." +</P> + +<P> +"I see what you mean!" she said quickly. "You would like to make me +out crazy, but Lord Trevorsham knows better. Do not you, my father?" +she said, with a strong emphasis, the more marked, because it was +concentrated, not loud. +</P> + +<P> +My poor father was shuddering all over with involuntary trembling; but +he put Torwood's hand away from him, and looked up piteously, as if his +heart was breaking (as it was); but he spoke steadily. "It is true. +It is true, Torwood. I was married to poor Faith, when I was a young +man, in Canada. They sent me proofs that all had perished when the +Indians attacked the village; but—" and then he put his hands over his +face. It must have been dreadful to see; but Hester Lea was too much +bent on her rights to feel a moment's pity; and she spoke on in a hard +tone, with her eyes fixed on my brother's face. +</P> + +<P> +"But you failed to discover that she was rescued from the Indians; gave +birth to me, your daughter, Hester; and only died two years ago." +</P> + +<P> +"You hear! My boy, my poor boy, forgive me; don't leave me to her," +was what my poor father had said—he who had been so strong. +</P> + +<P> +My brother saw what it all meant now. "Never fear that, sir," he said; +"I am your son still, any way, you know." +</P> + +<P> +"You will do justice to me," she began, in her fierce tone; but my +brother met it calmly with, "Certainly, we will do our best that +justice should be done. You have brought proof?" +</P> + +<P> +His quietness overawed her, and she pointed to the papers on the table. +They were her mother's attested narrative, and the certificate of her +burial. +</P> + +<P> +My brother read aloud, "The 3rd of February, 1836," then he turned to +my father and said, "You observe, father, the difference this may make, +if true, is that of putting little Alured into the place I have held. +My father's last marriage was on the 15th of April, 1836," he added to +her. He says she quite glared at him with mortification, as if he had +invented poor little Alured on purpose to baffle her; but my father +breathed more freely. +</P> + +<P> +"And is nothing—nothing to be done for my child, your own grandson?" +exclaimed she, "after these years." +</P> + +<P> +Torwood silenced her by one of his looks. "We only wish to do +justice," he said. "If it be as you say, you will have a right to a +great deal, and it will not be disputed; but you must be aware that a +claim made in this manner requires investigation, and you can see that +my father is not in a state for an exciting discussion." +</P> + +<P> +"<I>Your</I> father!" she said, with a bitter tone of scorn; but he took it +firmly, though the blood seemed to come boiling to his temples. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes," he said, "my father! and if you are indeed his daughter, you +should show some pity and filial duty, by not forcing the discussion on +him while he can so little bear it." +</P> + +<P> +That staggered her a little, but she said, "I do not wish to do him any +harm, but I have my child's interests to think of. How do I know what +advantage may be taken against him?" +</P> + +<P> +Torwood saw my father lying back in the chair, trembling, and he +dreaded a fit every moment. +</P> + +<P> +"I give you my word," he said, "that no injustice shall be done you;" +and as she looked keenly at him, as if she distrusted him, he said, +"Yes, you may trust me. I was bred an English gentleman, whatever I +was born, and I promise you never to come between you and your rights, +when your identity as Lord Trevorsham's daughter is fully established. +Meantime, do you not see that your presence is killing him? Tell me +where you may be heard of?" +</P> + +<P> +"I shall stay at the Shinglebay Hotel till I am secure of the justice I +claim," she said. "Come, my boy, since your own grandfather will not +so much as look at you." +</P> + +<P> +Torwood walked her across the hall. He was a little touched by those +last words, and felt that she might have looked for a daughter's +reception, so he said in the hall— +</P> + +<P> +"You must remember this is a very sudden shock to us all. When my +father has grown accustomed to the idea, no doubt he will wish to see +you again; but in his present state of health, he must be our first +consideration. And unprepared as my sisters are, it would be +impossible to ask you to stay in the house." +</P> + +<P> +She was always a little subdued by my brother's manner; I think its +courtesy and polish almost frightened her, high-spirited, resolute +woman as she was. +</P> + +<P> +"I understand," she said, with a stiff, cold tone. Jaquetta heard the +echo of it, and wondered. +</P> + +<P> +"But," he added, "when they understand all, and when my father is equal +to it, you shall be sent for." +</P> + +<P> +When he went back to the library he found my poor father unconscious. +It was really only fainting then, and he came round without anyone +being called, and he shrank from seeing anyone but Torwood, explaining +to him most earnestly how, though he was too ill himself to go to the +place, his brother-officer, General Poyntz, had done so for him, and +had been persuaded that the whole settlement and all the inhabitants +had been swept off. It was such a shock to him that it nearly killed +him. Poor father! it was grievous to hear him wish it had quite done +so! +</P> + +<P> +We only knew that the woman had upset my father very much, and that +Torwood could not leave him. Word was sent us to sit down to dinner +without them, and Torwood sent for some gravy soup and some wine for +him. He went on talking—sometimes about us, but more often about poor +Faith, who seemed to have come back on him in all the beauty and charm +of his first love. He seemed to be talking himself feverish, and after +a time Torwood thought that silence would be better for him; so he got +him to go to bed, and sent good old Blake, the butler, who had been his +servant in the army, to sit in the dressing-room. Blake, it turned out, +had known all about the old story, so he was a safe person. Not that +safety mattered much. "Lady Hester Lea"—she called herself so now, +as, indeed, she had every right—was making it known at Shinglebay. +</P> + +<P> +So Torwood came out. I was very anxious, of course, and had been +hovering about on the nursery stairs, where I had gone to see whether +baby was quietly asleep, and I overtook him as he was going down-stairs. +</P> + +<P> +"How is papa?" I asked. +</P> + +<P> +I shall never forget the white look of the face he raised up to mine as +he said, "Poor father! Ursula, I can only call the news terrible. Will +you try to stand up against it bravely?" +</P> + +<P> +And then he held out his arms and gathered me into them, and I believe +I said, "I can bear anything when you do that!" +</P> + +<P> +I thought it could only be something about Bertram, who had rather a +way of getting into scrapes, and I said his name; but just as Fulk was +setting me at ease on that score, Jaquetta, who was on the watch, too, +opened the door of the green drawing-room, and we were obliged to go +in. Then, hardly answering her and Emily, as they asked after papa, he +stood straight up in the middle of the rug and told us, beginning +with—"Ursula, did you know that our father had been married as a young +man in Canada?" +</P> + +<P> +No. We had never guessed it. +</P> + +<P> +"He was," my brother went on, "This is his daughter." +</P> + +<P> +"Our sister!" Jaquetta asked. "Where has she been all this time?" +</P> + +<P> +But I saw there must be more to trouble him, and then it came. "I +cannot tell. My father had every reason to believe that—she—his +first wife—had been killed in a massacre by the Red Indians; but if +what this person says is true, she only died two years ago. But it was +in all good faith that he married our mother. He had taken all means +to discover—" +</P> + +<P> +Even then we did not perceive what this involved. I felt stunned and +numbed chiefly from seeing the great shock it had been to my father and +to him; but poor little Jaquetta and Emily were altogether puzzled; and +Jaquetta said, "But is this sister of ours such a very disagreeable +person, Torwood? Why didn't you bring her in and show her to us?" +</P> + +<P> +Then he exclaimed, almost angrily at her simplicity, "Good heavens! +girls, don't you see what it all means? If this is true, I am not +Torwood. We are nothing—nobody—nameless." +</P> + +<P> +He turned to the fire, put both elbows on the mantelshelf, and hid his +face in his hands. Emily sprang up, and tried to draw down his arm; +and she did, but he only used it to put her from him, hold her off at +arm's length, and look at her—oh! with such a tender face of firm +sorrow! +</P> + +<P> +"Ah! Emily," he said; "you too! It has been all on false pretences! +That will have to be all over now." +</P> + +<P> +Then Emily's great brown eyes grew bigger with wonder and dismay. +</P> + +<P> +"False pretences!" she cried, "what false pretences? Not that you +cared for me, Torwood." +</P> + +<P> +"Not that I cared for you," he said, with a suppressed tone that made +his voice <I>so</I> deep! "Not that <I>I</I> cared, but that Lord Torwood +did—Torwood is the baby upstairs." +</P> + +<P> +"But it is you—you—you—Fulk!" said Emily, trying to creep and sidle +up to him, white doe fashion. I believe nobody had ever called him by +his Christian name before, and it made it sweeter to him, but still he +did not give in. +</P> + +<P> +"Ah! that's all very well," he said, and his voice was softer then, +"but what would your mother say?" +</P> + +<P> +"The same as I do," said Emily, undauntedly. "How should it change +one's feelings one bit," and she almost cried at being held back. +</P> + +<P> +He did let her nestle up to him then, but with a sad sort of smile. "My +child, my darling," he said, "I ought not to allow this! It will only +be the worse after!" +</P> + +<P> +But just then a servant's step made them start back, and a message came +and brought word that Mr. Blake would be glad if Lord Torwood would +step up. +</P> + +<P> +Yes, my poor father was wandering in his speech, and very feverish, +mixing up Adela and Faith Le Blanc strangely together sometimes, and at +others fancying he was lying ill with his wound, and sending messages +to Faith. +</P> + +<P> +We sent for the doctor, but he could not do anything really. It had +been a death-blow, though the illness lasted a full week. He knew us +generally, and liked to see us, but he always had the sense that +something dreadful had happened to us; and he would stroke my hand or +Jaquetta's, and pity us. He was haunted, too, by the sense that he +ought to do something for us which he could not do. We thought he +meant to make a will, securing us something, but he was never in a +condition in which my brother would have felt justified in getting him +to sign it. Indeed there was so little disease about him, and we +thought he would get better, if only we could keep him free from +distress and excitement; so we made his room as quiet as possible, and +discouraged his talking or thinking. +</P> + +<P> +Lady Hester came every day. My brother had sent for Mr. Eagles, our +solicitor, to meet her the first time, and look at her papers. +</P> + +<P> +He said he could not deny that it looked very bad for us. Of the +original marriage there was no doubt; indeed, my father had told +Torwood where to find the certificate of it, folded up in the secret +drawer of his desk, with his commission in the army; and the register +of Faith's burial was only too plain. The only chance there was for us +was, that her identity could not be established; but Mr. Eagles did not +think it would go off on this. The whole of her life seemed to be +traceable; besides, there was something about Hester that forbade all +suspicion of her being a conscious impostor. Whether she would be able +to prove herself my father's daughter was another more doubtful point. +That, however, made no difference, except as to her own rank and +fortune. If the first wife were proved to have been alive till 1836, +then little Alured was the only true heir to the title and estate, and, +next after him, stood Hester Lea and her son. +</P> + +<P> +People said she was like the family; I never could see it, and always +thought the likeness due to their imagination. She took one by +surprise. She was a tall, well-made woman, with a narrow waist, and a +proud, peculiarly upright bearing, though quick, almost sharp in all +her movements, and especially with her eyes. Those eyes, I confess, +always startled me. They were clear, bright blue, well opened +eyes—honest eyes one would have called them—only they appeared to be +always searching about, and darting at one when one least expected it. +The red and white of the face too always had a clear hard look, like +the eyes; the teeth projected a little, and were so very, very white, +that they always seemed to me to flash like the eyes; and if ever she +smiled, it was as much as to say, "I don't believe you." Her nose had +an amount of hook, too, that always gave me the feeling of having a +wild hawk in the room with me. Jaquetta used to call her a panther of +the wilderness, but to my mind there was none of the purring cattish +tenderness of the panther. However, that might be only because she +viewed us as her natural enemies, and was always on her guard against +us, though I do not well know why; I am sure we only wanted to know the +truth and do justice, and Fulk was so convinced that she would prove +her case, and that there was no help for it, that at the end of hearing +Mr. Eagles question her, he said, "Well, the matter must be tried in +due time, but since we are brothers and sisters, let us be friendly," +and he held out his hand to her. Mr. Eagles, who told me, said he +could have beaten him for the imprudent admission, only he did look so +generous and sweet and sad; and Lady Hester drew herself up doubtfully +and proudly, as if she could hardly bear to own such a brother, but she +did take his hand, coldly though, and saying, "Let me see my father." +</P> + +<P> +He was obliged to tell her that this was impossible. I doubt whether +she ever believed him—at least she used to gaze at him with her +determined eyes, as if she meant to abash him out of falsehood, and she +sharply questioned every one about Lord Trevorsham's state. +</P> + +<P> +The determination to be friendly made my brother offer to take her to +us. She consented, but not very readily, and I am afraid we were +needlessly cold and dry; but we were taken by surprise when my brother +brought her into the sitting-room. It was not very easy to welcome the +woman who was going to turn us all out, and under such a stigma; and +she—she could hardly be expected to look complacently at the +interlopers who had her place, and the title she had a right to. +</P> + +<P> +She put us through her hard catechism about my dear father's state, and +said at last that she should like to see Lord Torwood. +</P> + +<P> +Taken by surprise, we looked and signed towards him whom that name had +always meant. He smiled a little and said, "Little Alured! But, +remember, I am bound to concede nothing till judicial minds are +convinced. The parties concerned cannot judge. Can you venture to +have Baby down, Ursula?" +</P> + +<P> +No, I did not venture. I thought it might have been averted; but I was +only obliged to take her up to the nurseries. On the way up she asked +which way my father's room lay. I answered, "Oh! across there;" I did +not know if she might not make a dash at it. +</P> + +<P> +I think she must have heard at Shinglebay how delicate poor little +Alured was, and thence gathered hopes of the succession for her boy, +for she asked her sharp questions about his health all the way up, and +knew that he had had fits. I could not put her down as one generally +can inquisitive people. I suppose it was because she was more sensible +of the difference in our real positions than I have as yet felt. +</P> + +<P> +Baby was asleep; and I think she was touched by the actual sight of +him. She said he was very like her boy; and though I supposed that a +mere assertion at the time, it was quite true. Alured and Trevor Lea +have always been remarkably alike. However, she cross-examined Nurse +about his health even more minutely, and then took her leave; but she +came again every day, walking after the first, as long as my dear +father lived. +</P> + +<P> +And she must have talked, for there came a kind of feeling over +everyone, as well as ourselves, that something was hanging over us, of +which the issue would be known when my father's illness took some turn. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Decies came every day to inquire, but I could not bear a strange +eye, and Hester might have been looking on. I was steeling myself +against him. Was I right?—oh! was I right? I have wondered and +grieved! For I knew well enough what he had been thinking of for +months before; only I did not want it to come to a point. How was I to +leave little Alured to Jaquetta? or disturb my father by breaking up +his home? I liked him on the whole, and had come the length of +thinking that if I ever married at all, it would be— But that's all +nonsense; and mine could not have been what other people's love was, or +I should not have shrunk from the sight and look of him. If it had +been only poverty that was coming, it would have been a different +thing; but to be nameless impostors! +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Deerhurst had gone out on a round of visits, when Emily came to +us, taking her younger daughter. They were not a very letter-writing +family. It is odd how some people's pen is a real outlet of +expression; while others seem to lack the nerve that might convey their +thoughts to it, even when they live in more sympathy than Emily could +well have had with her mother. +</P> + +<P> +At least, so I understand, what afterwards we wondered at, that Emily +never mentioned Hester; only saying, when, after some days she did +write, that Lord Trevorsham was ill. +</P> + +<P> +So Fulk had the one comfort of being with her when he was out of the +sick room. I used to see them from the window walking up and down the +terrace in the blue east wind haze of those March days, never that I +could see speaking. I don't think my brother would have felt it +honourable to tie one additional link between himself and her. He had +not a doubt as to how her mother would act, but to be in her dear +little affectionate presence was a better help than we could give him, +even though nothing passed between them. +</P> + +<P> +Jaquetta used to wonder at them, and then try to go on the same as +usual; and would wander about the garden and park with her dogs, and +bring us in little anecdotes, and do all the laughing over them +herself. Poor child! she felt as if she were in a bad dream, and these +were efforts to shake it off, and wake herself. +</P> + +<P> +After all, nothing was ever so bad as those ten days! But, my brother +always said he was thankful for the respite and time for thought which +they gave him. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap03"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER III. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE PEERAGE CASE. +</H3> + +<P> +The end came suddenly at last, when we were thinking my dear father +more tranquil. He passed away in sleep late one evening, just ten days +after Hester's arrival. She had gone back to her lodgings, and we did +not send to tell her till the morning; but by nine o'clock she was in +the house. +</P> + +<P> +We had crept down to breakfast, Jaquetta and I, feeling very dreary in +the half-light, and as if desolation had suddenly come on us; and when +we heard her fly drive up to the door, Jaquetta cried out almost +angrily, "Torwood, how could you!" and we would have run away, but he +said, "Stay, dear girls; it is better to have it over." +</P> + +<P> +As she came in he rang the bell as if for family prayers, and she had +only asked one or two questions, which he answered shortly, when all +the servants came in, some crying sadly. Fulk read a very few +prayers—as much as he had voice for, and then, as all stood up, he had +to clear his voice, but he spoke firmly enough. +</P> + +<P> +"It is right that you all should know that a grave doubt has arisen as +to my position here. Lord Trevorsham had every reason to believe his +first wife had perished by the hands of the Red Indians long before he +married my mother. What he did was done in entire ignorance—no breath +of blame must light on him. This lady alleges that she can produce +proofs that she is his daughter, and that her mother only died in +February, '36. If these proofs be considered satisfactory by a +committee of the House of Lords, then she and Alured Torwood Trevor +will be shown to be his only legitimate children. I shall place the +matter in the right hands as soon as possible—that is" (for she was +glaring at him), "as soon as the funeral is over. Until that decision +is made I request that no one will call me by the title of him who is +gone; but I shall remain here to take care of my little brother, whose +guardian my father wished me to be; and for the present, at least, I +shall make no change in the establishment." +</P> + +<P> +I think everyone held their breath: there was a great stillness over +all—a sort of hush of awe—and then some of the maids began sobbing, +and the butler tried to say something, but he quite broke down; and +just then a troubled voice cried out— +</P> + +<P> +"Torwood, Torwood, what is this?" +</P> + +<P> +And there we saw Bertram in the midst of us, with the haggard look of a +man who had travelled all night, and a dismayed air that I can never +forget. +</P> + +<P> +He had been quartered at Belfast, and we had written to him the day +after my father's illness, to summon him home, but there were no +telegraphs nor railways; and there had been some hindrance about his +leave, so that it had taken all that length of time to bring him. Fulk +had left all to be told on his arrival. He had come by the mail-coach, +and walked up from the Trevorsham Arms, where he had been told of our +father's death; and so had let himself in noiselessly, and was standing +in the dining-room door, hearing all that Fulk said! +</P> + +<P> +Poor fellow! Jaquetta flung herself on him, hiding her face against +him, while the servants went, and before any one else could speak, +Hester stood forth, and said, to our amazement— +</P> + +<P> +"Captain Trevor! You know me. You can and must bear me witness, and +do me justice—" +</P> + +<P> +"You! I have seen you before—but—where? I beg your pardon," he +said, bewildered. +</P> + +<P> +"You remember Sault St. Pierre farm?" she said. +</P> + +<P> +"Sault St. Pierre! What? You are Mrs. Lea! Good heavens! Where is +your mother?" +</P> + +<P> +"My mother is dead, sir. You were the first person who made known to +her that her husband, my father, was not dead, but had taken—or +pretended to take—an English woman for his wife." +</P> + +<P> +"Wait!" thundered Fulk, "whatever my father did was ignorantly and +honourably done!" +</P> + +<P> +Bertram was as pale as death, and looked from one of us to the other, +and at last, he gasped out— +</P> + +<P> +"And that—was what she meant?" +</P> + +<P> +"There, sir," said Hester, turning to Torwood, "You see your brother +cannot deny it! You will not refuse justice to me, and my son." +</P> + +<P> +I fancy she expected that the house was to be given up to her, and that +we were only to remain there on her sufferance, perhaps till after the +funeral. +</P> + +<P> +My brother spoke, "Justice will no doubt be done; but the question does +not lie between you and me, but between me and Alured. It is, as I +said, a peerage question—and will be decided by the peers. +Incidentally, that enquiry will prove what is your position and rank, +as well as what may or may not be ours. Any further points depend upon +my father's will, and that will be in the hands of Mr. Eagles. I think +you can see that it would be impossible, as well as unfeeling, to take +any steps until after the funeral." +</P> + +<P> +Whatever Hester Lea was, she was a high-spirited being, standing there, +a solitary woman, a stranger, with all of us four, and one whole +household, as it must have seemed, against her. I was outraged and +shocked at her defiance at the time, but when, some time after, I +re-read King John, I saw that there was something of Constance in her. +</P> + +<P> +"That may be," she answered, "but when my child's interests are at +stake, I cannot haggle over conventionalities and proprieties. I am +the Earl of Trevorsham's only legitimate daughter, and I claim my right +to remain in his house, and to take charge of my infant brother." +</P> + +<P> +A sign from Fulk stopped me, as I was going to scream at this. +</P> + +<P> +"Remember," he said, "your identity has yet to be proved." +</P> + +<P> +"Your brother there must needs witness. He has done so." +</P> + +<P> +"What do you witness to, Bertram?" asked Fulk. +</P> + +<P> +"I do not know; I cannot understand," said Bertram. "I saw this person +in a farm in Lower Canada, and there was an old lady who seemed to have +known my father, and was very much amazed to find he was not killed in +1814. I did not hear her name, nor know whose mother she was, nor +anything about her, nor what this dreadful business means." +</P> + +<P> +"At any rate," said Fulk to her, "your claim to remain in the house +must depend on the legal proof of the fact. My father's first marriage +is undoubted, but absolute legal certainty that you are the child of +that marriage alone can entitle you to take rank as his daughter; and, +therefore, I am not compelled to admit your claim to remain here, +though if you will refrain from renewing this discussion till after the +funeral, I will not ask you to leave the house." +</P> + +<P> +"I do not recognize your right to ask or not to ask," she said, +undauntedly. +</P> + +<P> +"I am either Lord Trevorsham's rightful heir—and it is not yet shown +that I am not—or else I am the guardian he appointed for his son. I +know this to be so, and Mr. Eagles, who will soon be here, will show it +to you in the will if you wish it. Therefore, until the decision is +made, when, if it goes against me, the child will no doubt be made a +ward in Chancery, I am the person responsible for him and his property." +</P> + +<P> +"I have no doubt you will take advantage of me and of every quibble +against me;" and there at last she began to break down; "but if there +is justice in heaven or earth my child shall have it, though you and +all were leagued against him." +</P> + +<P> +And there she began to sob. And those brothers of mine, they actually +grew compassionate; they ran after wine; they called us to bring salts, +and help her. Emily shuddered, and put her hands behind her; but +Jaquetta actually ran up to the woman, and coaxed her and comforted +her, when I had rather have coaxed a tigress. +</P> + +<P> +But I had to go to the table and pour out tea and give it to her with +all the rest. I don't know how we got through that breakfast. But we +did, and then I made the housekeeper put her into the very best rooms. +Anything if she would only stay there out of the way. +</P> + +<P> +When I came back, I found Fulk explaining why he had spoken at once, +and he said he felt that she would have no scruples about taking the +initiative, and that everyone would be having surmises. +</P> + +<P> +Poor Bertram was even more cut up than we were. It came more suddenly, +and he felt as if it was all his doing. He had no hope, and he took +all ours away. There had been something in the old woman that +impressed him as genuine, and he had no doubt that she had known and +loved our father. Nay, no one could suspect Hester of not believing in +her own story; the only question was whether the links of evidence +could be substantiated. +</P> + +<P> +The next thing that happened—I can't tell which day it was—was Mrs. +Deerhurst's coming, professing to be dreadfully shocked and overcome by +my father's death, to take away Emily. She must be so much in our way. +I, who saw her first, answered only by begging to keep her—our great +comfort and the one thing that cheered and upheld my brother. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Deerhurst looked keenly at me; and I began to wonder what she +knew, but just then came Fulk into the room, with his calm, set, +determined face. I knew he would rather speak without me, so I went +away, and only knew what he could bear to tell me afterwards. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Deerhurst had been a great deal kinder than he expected. No doubt +she would not break the thing off while there was a shred of hope that +he was an earl; but he could not drive her to allow, in so many words, +that it must depend upon that. +</P> + +<P> +He had quite made up his mind that it was not right to enjoy Emily's +presence and the comfort it gave him, unless he was secure of Mrs. +Deerhurst's permitting the engagement under his possible circumstances. +</P> + +<P> +I believe he nattered himself she would, and let her deceive him with +thinking so, instead of, as we all did, seeing that what she wanted was +to secure the credit of being constant and disinterested in case he +retained his position. So, although she took Emily home, she left him +cheered and hopeful, admiring her, and believing that she so regarded +her daughter's happiness that, if he had enough to support her, she +would overlook the loss of rank and title. He went on half the evening +talking about what a remarkable woman Mrs. Deerhurst was; and, at any +rate, it cheered him up through those worst days. +</P> + +<P> +Our Lupton uncles came, and were frightfully shocked and incredulous; +at least, Uncle George was. Uncle Lupton himself remembered something +of my father having told him of a former affair in America. +</P> + +<P> +They would not let Jaquetta and me go to the funeral; and they were +wise, for Hester thrust herself in—but it is of no use to think about +that. Indeed, there is not much to tell about that time, and I need +not go into the investigation. It was all taken out of our hands, as +my brother had said. Perrault came over from Canada, and brought his +witnesses, but not Joel Lea. He had nothing to prove, had +conscientious scruples about appearing in an English court of justice, +and still hoped it would all come to nothing. +</P> + +<P> +We stayed on at the London house—the lawyers said we ought, and that +possession was "nine-tenths," &c. Besides, we wanted advice for Baby, +who had been worse of late. +</P> + +<P> +The end of it was that it went against us. Faith's marriage, her +identity, and Hester's, were proved beyond all doubt, and little Alured +was served Earl of Trevorsham. Poor child, how ill he was just then! +It was declared water on the brain! I could hardly think about +anything else; but they all said it seemed like a mockery, and that he +would not bear the title a week. And then Lady Hester would have been, +not Countess of Trevorsham, but Viscountess Torwood, and at any rate +she halved the personal property: all that had been meant for us. +</P> + +<P> +For we already knew that there was nothing in the will that could do us +any good. All depended on my mother's marriage settlements, and as the +marriage was invalid they were so much waste paper. +</P> + +<P> +My uncles, to whom my poor mother's fortune reverted, would not touch +it, and gave every bit back to us; but it was only 10,000 pounds, and +what was that among the four of us? +</P> + +<P> +I was in a sort of maze all the time, thinking of very little beyond +dear little Alured's struggle for life, and living upon his little +faint smiles when he was a shade better. +</P> + +<P> +Jaquetta has told me more of what passed than I heeded at the time. +</P> + +<P> +Our brothers decided not to retain the Trevor name, to which we had no +right; but they had both been christened Torwood; after an old family +custom, and they thought it best to use this still as a surname. +</P> + +<P> +Bertram felt the shame, as he would call it, the most; but Fulk held up +his head more. He said where there was no sin there was no shame; and +that to treat ourselves as under a blot of disgrace was insulting our +parents, who had been mistaken, but not guilty. +</P> + +<P> +Bertram was determined against returning to his regiment, and it would +have been really too expensive. His plan was to keep together, and lay +out our capital upon a piece of ground in New Zealand, which was +beginning to be settled. +</P> + +<P> +Jaquetta was always ready to be delighted. Dear child, her head was +full of log huts and Robinson Crusoe life, and cows to milk herself; +and I really think she would have liked to go ashore in the Swiss +family's eight tubs! +</P> + +<P> +The thorough change, after all the sorrow, seemed delicious to her! I +heard her and Bertram laughing down below, and wondered if they got the +length of settling what dogs they would take out! +</P> + +<P> +And Fulk! He really had almost persuaded himself that Emily would go +with us; or at the very worst, would wait till he had achieved +prosperity and could come home and fetch her. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Deerhurst had declared that waiting for the decision was so bad +for her nerves, that she must take her to Paris; and actually our dear +old stupid fellow had not perceived what that meant, for the woman had +let him part tenderly with Emily in London, with promises of writing, +&c., the instant the case was decided. It passed his powers to suppose +she could expose her daughter's heart to such a wreck. So he held up, +cheerful and hopeful, thinking what a treasure of constancy he had! +And when they had built their castle in New Zealand, they sent up +Jaquey to call me to share it with them. Baby was asleep, and I went +down; but when I heard the plan—it was cross to be so unsympathizing, +but I did feel hurt and angry at their forgetting him; and I said, "I +shall never leave Alured." +</P> + +<P> +"Ursula! you could not stay by yourself," said Jaquey. And Bertram, +who had hardly ever seen him, and could not care for him said it was +nonsense, and even if there were a chance of the child living, I could +not be left behind. +</P> + +<P> +I was wrought up, and broke out that he would and should live, and that +I would come as a stranger, a nursery governess, and watch over him, +and never abandon him to Hester. +</P> + +<P> +"Never fear, Ursula," said Fulk, "if he lives, he will be in safe +hands." +</P> + +<P> +"Safe hands! What are safe hands for a child like that! Hester's, who +only wishes him out of her way?" +</P> + +<P> +"For shame!" the others said, and I answered that, of course, I did not +think Hester meant ill by him, but that, where the doctors had said +only love and care could save him—no care was safe where he was not +loved; and I cried very, very bitterly, more than I had done even for +my father, or for anything else before; and I fell into a storm of +passion, at the cruelty of leaving the poor little thing, whom his +dying mother had trusted to me, and declared I would never, never do it. +</P> + +<P> +I was right in the main, it seems to me, but unjust and naughty in the +way I did it; and when Fulk, with some hesitation, began to talk of my +not being asked to go just yet—not while the child lived—I turned +round in a really violent, naughty fit, with—"You too, Fulk, I thought +you loved your little brother better than that? You only want to be +rid of him, and leave him to Hester, and he will die in her hands." +</P> + +<P> +Fulk began to say that the Court of Chancery never gave the custody to +the next heir. But I rushed away again to the nursery, and sat there, +devising plans of disguising myself in a close cap and blue spectacles, +and coming to offer myself as Lord Trevorsham's governess. +</P> + +<P> +The child had no relations whatever on his mother's side, and though, +if he had been healthy, nurses and tutors might have taken care of this +baby lordship, even that would have been sad enough; and for the feeble +little creature, whose life hung on a thread, how was it to be thought +of? I fully made up my mind to stay, even if they all went. I told +Jaquetta, so—in my vehemence dashed all her bright anticipation, and +sent her again in tears to bed. I wish unhappiness would not make one +so naughty! +</P> + +<P> +The next day poor Fulk was struck down. A letter came from Mrs. +Deerhurst to break off the engagement, and a great parcel containing +all the things he had given Emily. She must have packed them up before +leaving England, while she was still flattering him. Not a word nor a +line was there from Emily herself!—only a supplication from the mother +that he would not rend her child's heart by persisting—just as if she +had not encouraged him to go on all this time! +</P> + +<P> +Nothing would serve him but that he must dash over to Paris, to see her +and Emily. +</P> + +<P> +Railroads were not, and it was a ten days' affair at the shortest; and, +with all our prospects doubtful and Alured still so ill, it was very +trying. How Bertram did rave at the folly and futility of the +expedition! but one comfort was, that Alured was a ward of Chancery, +and, in the vast kindness and commiseration everyone bestowed upon us, +no one tried to hurry us or turn us out. +</P> + +<P> +Hester used to come continually to inquire after her brother, and there +was something in her way that always made me shudder when she asked +after him. I knew she could not wish for his life, and gloated over +all the reports she could collect of his weakness. I felt more and +more horror of her; God forgive me for not having tried not to hate +her. I sometimes doubt whether my dread and distrust were not visible, +and may not have put it into her head. +</P> + +<P> +And then came Mr. Decies, again and again. He was faithful—I see it +now. He cared not if I had neither name nor fortune; he held fast to +his proposals. And I? Oh, I was absorbed—I was universally +defiant—I did not do him justice in the bitterness I did not realise. +I thought he was constant only out of honour and pity, and I did not +choose to open my heart to understand his pleadings or accept them as +earnest—I was harsh. Oh, how little one knows what one is doing! Too +proud to be grateful—that was actually my case. I was enamoured of the +blue-spectacle plan; I had romances of watching Alured day and night, +and pouring away dangerous draughts. The very fancy, I see now, was +playing with edged tools; I feel as if my imagination had put the +possibility into the very air. +</P> + +<P> +Once indeed—when Jaquetta had been telling me she did not understand +my unkindness; and observed that, even for Alured's sake, she could not +see why I did not accept—I did begin to regard him as a possible +protector for the boy. But no; the blue spectacles would be the more +assiduous guardian, said my foolish fancy. +</P> + +<P> +Before I had thought it over into sense or reason, Fulk came back from +Paris. He had not been really crushed till now. He was white, and +silent, and resolute, and very gentle; all excitement of manner gone. +He did not say one word, but we knew it was all over with him, and that +he could not have had one scrap of comfort or hope. +</P> + +<P> +Nor had he, though even to me he told nothing, till we were together in +the dark one evening, much later. He did insist upon seeing Emily; but +her mother would not leave her, or take her eyes off her, and the timid +thing did nothing but sob and cry, in utter helplessness and shame, and +never even gave him a look. +</P> + +<P> +It was not the being neglected and cast off that he felt as such a +wrong, to both himself and Emily, but the being drawn on with false +hopes and promises to expect that she was to belong to him, after all; +and he was cruelly disappointed that Emily had not energy to cling to +him—he had made so sure of her. +</P> + +<P> +Bertram and Jaquetta had expected all along that he would be the more +eager to be off to the Antipodes when everything was swept away from +him here, and he did sit after dinner talking it over in a +business-like way, while Bertram gave him all the information he had +been collecting in his absence. +</P> + +<P> +I would not listen. I was determined against going away from my +charge; I had rather have been his housemaid than have left him to +Hester, and I must have looked like a stone as I got up, and left them +to their talk while I went back to the boy. +</P> + +<P> +I heard Bertram say while I was lighting my candle, "Poor Ursula! she +will not see it. Hart told me to-day that the child is dying—would +hardly get through the night." +</P> + +<P> +Now I had been thinking all the afternoon that he was better, and I had +gone down to dinner cheered. I turned into the doorway, and told Fulk +to come and see. +</P> + +<P> +He did come. There was Alured, lying, as he had lain all day, upon his +nurse's knees, with her arm under his head. He had not moaned for a +long time, and I had left him in a more comfortable sleep. He opened +his eyes as we came in, held out his hands more strongly than we +thought he could have done, quite smiled—such an intelligent +smile—and said, "Tor—Tor—," which was what he had always called his +brother, making his gesture to go to him. +</P> + +<P> +The tears came into Fulk's eyes, though he smiled back and spoke in his +sweet, strong voice, and held out his arms, while we told him he had +better sit down. Poor nurse! she must have been glad enough—she had +held him all that live-long day! And he was quite eager to go to his +brother, and smiled up and cooed out, "Tor—Tor," again, as he felt +himself on the strong arm. +</P> + +<P> +Fulk bade nurse go and lie down, and he would hold him. And so he did. +I fed the child, as I had done at intervals all day; and he sometimes +slept, sometimes woke and murmured or cooed a little, and Fulk scarcely +spoke or stirred, hour after hour. He had been travelling day and +night, but, strange to say, that enforced calm—that tender stillness +and watching, was better for him than rest. He would only have tossed +about awake, if he had gone to bed after a discussion with Bertram. +</P> + +<P> +But in the morning Dr. Hart came, quite surprised to find the child +alive; and when he looked at him and felt his pulse, he said, "You have +saved him for this time, at least." +</P> + +<P> +(Everybody was lavish of pronouns, and chary of proper names. Nobody +knew what to call anybody.) +</P> + +<P> +His little lordship was able to be laid in his cot, and Fulk, almost +blind now with sheer sleep, stumbled off to his room, threw himself on +his bed, and slept for seven hours in his clothes without so much as +moving. He confessed that he had never had such unbroken, dreamless +sleep since he had first seen Hester Lea's face. +</P> + +<P> +That little murmur of "Tor—Tor" had settled all our fates. I don't +think he had realised before how love was the one thing that the +child's life hung upon, and that the boy himself must have that love +and trust. Then, too, when he had waked and dressed and come down, the +first person he met was Hester, with her hard, glittering eyes, trying +to condole, and not able to hide how the exulting look went out of her +face on hearing that the Earl (as she chose to term him) was better. +</P> + +<P> +She supposed some arrangement would soon be made, and Fulk said he +should see the lawyers at once about it, and arrange for the personal +guardianship of Lord Trevorsham. +</P> + +<P> +"Of course I am the only proper person while he lives, poor child," she +said. +</P> + +<P> +I broke in with, "The next heir is never allowed the custody." +</P> + +<P> +I wish I had not. She hastily and proudly said "What do you mean?" and +Fulk quickly added that "the Lord Chancellor would decide." +</P> + +<P> +The next day he went out, and on returning came up to me in the +nursery, and called me into the study. +</P> + +<P> +"Ursula," he said, "I find that, considering the circumstances, there +will be no objection made to our retaining the personal charge of our +little brother. Everyone is very kind. Ours is not a common case of +illegitimacy, and my father's well-known express wishes will be allowed +to prevail." +</P> + +<P> +"And your character," I could not help saying; and he owned that it did +go for something, that he was known to everybody, and had some standing +of his own, apart from the rank he had lost. +</P> + +<P> +Then he went on to say that this would of course put an end to the +emigration plan, so far as he was concerned. No doubt in the restless +desire of change coming after such a fall and disappointment it was a +great sacrifice; but as he said, "There did not seem anything left for +him in life but just to try to do what seemed most like one's duty." +And then he said it did not seem a worthy thing to do nothing, but just +exist on a confined income, and the only thing he did know anything +about, and was not too old to learn, was farming, and managing an +estate. +</P> + +<P> +Trevorsham would want an agent, for old Hall was so old, that my +brother had really done all his work for a year or two past; and he had +felt his way enough to know he could get appointed to the agency, if he +chose. The house was to be let, but there was a farm to be had about +two miles off, with a good house, and he thought of taking it, and +stocking it, and turning regular farmer on his own account; while +looking after the property, and bringing Alured up among his own people +and interests. +</P> + +<P> +Bertram did not like this at all. "Among all our old friends and +acquaintance? Impossible! unbearable!" he said. +</P> + +<P> +But Fulk's answer, was—"Better so! If we went to a strange place, and +tried to conceal it, it would always be oozing out, and be supposed +disgraceful. If my sisters can bear it, I had rather confront it +straightforwardly—" +</P> + +<P> +"And be <I>pitied</I>"—said Bertram, with <I>such</I> a contemptuous tone. +</P> + +<P> +Nobody, however, thought it would be advisable for him to give up the +New Zealand plan, nor did he ever mean it for a moment; indeed, he +declared that he should go and prepare for us; for that we should very +soon get tired of Skimping's Farm, and come out to him; meaning, of +course, that our dear charge would be over. +</P> + +<P> +He even wanted Jaquetta to come with him at once, and the log huts and +fern trees danced before her eyes as the blue spectacles had done +before mine; but she did not like to leave me, and Fulk would not +encourage it, for we both thought her much too young and too tenderly +brought up to be sent out to a wild settler's life alone with Bertram, +and without a friend near. +</P> + +<P> +To be farmers' sisters where we had been the Earl's daughters—well, I +had much rather then that it had been somewhere else; but I saw it was +best for Baby and still more so for Fulk, and clear little Jaquey held +fast to me and to him, and so it was settled! +</P> + +<P> +Our friends and relatives had much rather we had all emigrated. They +did not know what to do with us, and would have been glad to have had +us all out of sight for ever, "damaged goods shipped off to the +colonies." We felt this and it heartened us up to stay out of the +spirit of opposition. +</P> + +<P> +Old Aunt Amelia, who fussed and cried over us, and our two uncles, who +gave us good advice by the yard! Alas! I fear we were equally +ungrateful to them, both cold and impatient. No, we did not bear it +really well, though they said we did. We had plenty of pride and +self-respect, and that carried us on; but there was no submission, no +notion of taking it religiously. I don't mean that we did not go to +church, and in the main try to do right. Any one more upright than my +brother it would have been hard to find; but as to any notion that +religious feeling could help us, and that our reverse might be blessed +to us, that would have seemed a very strange language indeed! +</P> + +<P> +And so we were hard, we would bear no sympathy but from one another, +and even among ourselves we never gave way. +</P> + +<P> +People admired us, I fancy, but were alienated and disappointed, and we +were quite willing <I>then</I> to have it so. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap04"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER IV. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +SKIMPING'S FARM. +</H3> + +<P> +Skimping's Farm was the unlucky name of the place, and Fulk would allow +of no modification—his resolution was to accept it all entirely. Now +I love no spot on earth so well. It was very different then. +</P> + +<P> +The farm-house lay on the slope of the hill, in the parish of +Trevorsham, but with the park lying between it and the main village. +The ground sloped sharply down to the little river, which, about two +miles lower down, blends with the Avon, being, in fact, a creek out of +Shinglebay. Beneath the house the stream is clear and rocky, but then +comes a flat of salt marsh, excellent for cattle; and then, again, the +river becomes tidal, and reaches at high water to the steep banks, +sometimes covered with wood, sometimes with pasture or corn. +</P> + +<P> +Then under the little promontory comes the hamlet of fisherfolk at Quay +Trevor; and then the coast sweeps away to Shinglebay town, as anyone +may see by the map. +</P> + +<P> +Ours is an old farm, and had an orchard of old apple-trees sloping down +to the river—as also did the home field, only divided by a low stone +wall from the little strip of flower-garden before the house, which in +those days had nothing in it but two tamarisks, a tea-tree, and a rose +with lovely buds and flowers that always had green hearts. +</P> + +<P> +There was a good-sized kitchen-garden behind, and the farm-yard was at +the side by the back door. The house is old and therefore was handsome +outside, even then, but the chief of the lower story was comprised in +one big room, a "keeping-room," as it was called, with an open chimney, +screened by a settle, and with a long polished table, with a bench on +either side. Into this room the front porch—a deep one, with +seats—opened. At one end was a charming little sitting-room, parted +off; at the other, the real kitchen for cooking, and the dairy and all +the rest of the farm offices. +</P> + +<P> +Up-stairs—the stairs are dark oak, and come down at one end of the big +kitchen—there is one beautiful large room, made the larger by a grand +oriel window under the gable, one opening out of it, and four more over +the offices; then a step-ladder and a great cheese-room, and a perfect +wilderness of odd nooks up in the roof. +</P> + +<P> +As to furniture, Fulk had bought that with the stock and everything +else belonging to the farm for a round sum; and the Chancery people +told us that we might take anything for ourselves from home that had +been bought by ourselves, had belonged to our mother, or been given to +us individually. +</P> + +<P> +So the furniture of Fulk's rooms in London—most of which he had had at +Oxford—my own piano, our books, and various little worktables, chairs, +pictures, and knicknacks appertained to us; also, we brought what +belonged to the little one's nursery, and put him in the large room. +His grand nurse—Earl though he was—could not stand the change; but +old Blake, who was retiring into a public house, as he could do nothing +else for us, suggested his youngest sister, who became the comfort of +my life, for she was the widow of a small farmer, and could give me +plenty of sound counsel as to how much pork to provide for the +labourers, and how much small beer would keep them in good heart, and +not make them too merry. And she had too much good sense to get into +rivalry with Susan Sisson, the hind's wife, who lived in a kind of +lean-to cottage opening into the farm-yard, and was the chief (real) +manager of the dairy and poultry—though such was not Jaquetta's view +of the case by any manner of means. +</P> + +<P> +What a help it was to have one creature who did enjoy it all from the +very first! +</P> + +<P> +The parting with Bertram was sore, and one's heart will ache after him +still at times, though he is prosperous and happy with his wife and +fine family at the new Trevorsham. Fulk went through it all in a grave +set way, as if he knew he never should be happy again, and accepted +everything in silence, as a matter of course, not wanting to sadden us, +but often grieving me more by his steady silence than if he had +complained. +</P> + +<P> +One thing he was resolved on, that he would be a farmer out and +out—not a gentleman farmer, as he said; but though he only wore +broadcloth in the evening and on Sundays, I can't say he ever succeeded +in not looking more of the gentleman. +</P> + +<P> +We fitted up the little parlour with our prettiest things, and it was +our morning room, and we put a screen across the big keeping-room, +which made it snug for a family gathering place. But those were the +days when everyone was abusing the farmers for not living with their +labourers in the house, and Fulk was determined to try it, at least the +first year, either for the sake of consistency, or because he was +resolved to keep our expenses as low as possible. "Failure would be +ruin," he impressed on us, and he thought we ought to live on the +profits of the farm, except what was directly spent on the boy, and to +save the income of the agency. (Taking one year with another, we did +so.) +</P> + +<P> +So he gave up his own dear old Cid, and only used the same horses that +had sufficed for our predecessor—a most real loss and deprivation—and +he chose to take meals at the long table in the keeping-room with the +farm servants. He said we girls might dine in our little parlour +apart, but there was no bearing that, and the whole household dined and +supped together. Breakfast was at such uncertain times that we left +that for the back kitchen, and had our own little round table by the +fire, or in the parlour, at half-past seven; and so we took care to +have a good cup of coffee for Fulk when he came in about five or six; +but the half-past twelve dinner and eight o'clock supper were at the +long table, our three selves and Baby at the top—Baby between me and +Mrs. Rowe ("Ally's Rowe," as he called her), then George and Susan +Sisson opposite each other, the under nurse, the two maids, the hind, +and the three lads. +</P> + +<P> +I believe it was a very awful penance to them at first. We used to +hear them splashing away at the pump and puffing like porpoises; and +they came in with shining faces and lank hair in wet rats' tails, the +foremost of which they pulled on all occasions of sitting down, getting +up, or being offered food. +</P> + +<P> +But they always behaved very well, and the habit of the animal at +feeding-time is so silent that I believe the restraint was compensated +by the honour; and it did civilise them, thanks, perhaps, to Susan's +lectures on manners, which we sometimes overheard. +</P> + +<P> +Fulk made spasmodic attempts to talk to Sisson; but the chief +conversation was Jaquetta's. She went on merrily all dinner-time, +asking about ten thousand things, and hazarding opinions that elicited +amusement in spite of ourselves: as when she asked, what sheep did with +their other two legs, or suggested growing canary seed, as sure to be a +profitable crop. Indeed, I think she had a little speculation in it on +her own account in the kitchen garden—only the sparrows were too many +for her—and what they left would not ripen. +</P> + +<P> +But the child was always full of some new and rare device, rattling on +anyhow, not for want of sense, but just to force a smile out of Fulk +and keep us all alive, as she called it. She knew every bird and beast +on the farm, fed the chickens, collected the eggs, nursed tender chicks +or orphan lambs and weaning calves, and was in and out with the dogs +all day, really as happy as ten queens, with the freedom and homely +usefulness of the life—tripping daintily about in the tall pattens of +farm life in those days, and making fresh enjoyment and fun of +everything. +</P> + +<P> +I used to be half vexed to see her grieve so little over all we had +lost; but Fulk said, "I suppose it is very hard to break down a +creature at that age." +</P> + +<P> +And even I was cheered by the wonderful start of health Alured took +from the time Mrs. Rowe had him. He grew fat and rosy, and learnt to +walk; and Dr. Hart was quite astonished at his progress, and said he +was nearly safe from any more attacks of that fearful water on the +brain till he was six or seven years old, and that, till that time, we +must let him be as much as possible in the open air, and with the +animals, and not stimulate his brain—neither teach, nor excite, nor +contradict him, nor let him cry. The farm life was evidently the very +thing he wanted. +</P> + +<P> +What a reprieve it was, even though it should be only a reprieve! +</P> + +<P> +He was already three years old, and was very clever and observant. +</P> + +<P> +We were glad that he was too young to take heed of the change, or to +see what was implied by his change from "baby," to "my lord," and we +always called him by his Christian name. Mrs. Rowe felt far too much +for us to gossip to him, and he was always with her or with me, though +I do believe he liked Ben—the great, rough, hind—better than anyone +else; would lead Mrs. Rowe long dances after him, to see him milk the +cows, and would hold forth to him at dinner, in a way as diverting to +us as it was embarrassing to poor Ben, who used to blurt out at +intervals, "Yoi, my lord," and "Noa, my lord," while the two maids +tried to swallow their tittering. The farmers at market used to call +Fulk, "my lord," by mistake, and then colour up to their eyes through +their red faces. +</P> + +<P> +I believe, indeed, it was their name for him among themselves, and that +they watched him with a certain contemptuous compassion, in the full +belief that he would ruin himself. +</P> + +<P> +And he declares he should if he had lived a bit more luxuriously, or if +he had not had the agency salary to help him through the years of +buying experience and the bad season with which he began. +</P> + +<P> +Nor was it till he had for some years introduced that capital breed +which thrives so well in the salt marshes, and twice following showed +up the prize ox at the county show, that they began to believe in +"Farmer Torwood," or think his "advanced opinions" in agriculture +anything but a gentleman's whimsies. +</P> + +<P> +As to friends and acquaintance, I am afraid we showed a great deal of +pride and stiffness. They were kinder than we deserved, but we thought +it prying and patronage, and would not accept what we could not return. +</P> + +<P> +It is not fair to say we. It was only myself—Jaquetta never saw +anything but kindness, and took it pleasantly, and Fulk was too busy +and too unhappy to be concerned about our visiting matters. If I saw +anyone coming to call I hid myself in the orchard, or if I was taken by +surprise I was stiffness itself; and then I wrote a set of cards (Miss +Torwood and Miss Jaquetta Torwood), and drove round in the queer +old-fashioned gig to leave them, and there was an end of it; for I +would accept no invitations, though Jaquetta looked at me wistfully. +And thus I daunted all but old Miss Prior. Poor old thing! All her +pleasures had oozed down from our house in old times to her; and her +gratitude was indomitable, and stood all imaginable rebuffs that +courtesy permitted me. I believe she only pitied and loved me the +more, and persevered in the dreadful kindness that has no tact. +</P> + +<P> +It did not strike me that pleasure might be good for Jaquetta, or that +Fulk's stern silent sorrow might have been lightened by variety. Used +as he had been to political life and London society, it was no small +change to have merely the market for interest, the farm for occupation, +and no society but ourselves; no newspaper but the County Chronicle +once a week; no new books, for Mudie did not exist then, even if we +could have afforded it. We had dropped out of the guinea country book +club, and Knight's "Penny Magazine" was our only fresh literature. +However, Jaquetta never was much of a reader, and was full of +business—queen of the poultry, and running after the weakly ones half +the day, supplementing George Sisson's very inadequate gardening—aye, +and his wife's equally rough cooking. She found a receipt book, and +turned out excellent dishes. She could not bear, she said, to see Fulk +try to eat grease, and with an effort at concealment, assisted by the +dogs, fall back upon bread and cheese. +</P> + +<P> +Luckily plain work in the school-room had not gone out in our day, and +I could make and mend respectably, but I had to keep a volume of +Shakespeare, Scott, or Wordsworth open before me, and learn it by +heart, to keep away thoughts, which might have been good for me; but +no—they were working on their own bitterness. +</P> + +<P> +Sunday was the hardest day of all to Fulk, for this was the only one on +which he could not be busy enough to tire himself out. We were a mile +from church, and when we got to the worm-eaten farm pew there was a +smell, as Jaquey said, as if generations of farmers had been eating +cheese there, and generations of mice eating after them; and she always +longed to shut up a cat there. +</P> + +<P> +The old curate was very old, and nothing seemed alive but the fiddles +in the gallery—indeed, after the "Penny Magazine" had made us +acquainted with the Nibelung, Jaquey took to calling Sisson, Folker the +mighty fiddler, so determined were his strains. +</P> + +<P> +After the great house was shut up, one service was dropped, and so the +latter part of the day was spent in a visit to all the livestock, Fulk +laden with Alured, and Jaquetta with tit bits for each and all. +</P> + +<P> +She and Alured really enjoyed it, and we tried to think we did! And +then Fulk used to stride off on a long solitary walk, or else sit in +the porch with his arms across, in a dumb heavy silence, till he saw us +looking at him; and then he would shake himself, and go and find +Sisson, and discuss every field and beast with him. +</P> + +<P> +At least we thought we should have been at peace here; but one +afternoon, when Jaquetta had gone across to the village to see some +purchase at the shop, she came back flushed and breathless, and said as +she sat down by me, "Oh! Ursie, Ursie, I met Miss Prior; and <I>she</I> has +bought Spinney Lawn." +</P> + +<P> +<I>She</I> was Hester; it had never meant anyone else amongst us when it was +said in that voice. Fulk, when we told him, had, it appeared, known it +for some days past. All he said was, "Well! she has every right." +</P> + +<P> +And when I exclaimed, "Just like a harpy, come to watch our poor +child!" he said, "Nonsense." +</P> + +<P> +But I knew I was right, and sat brooding—till presently he said, "Put +that out of your head, Ursula, or you will not be able to behave +properly to her." +</P> + +<P> +"I don't see any good in behaving properly to her," said Jaquetta. +"What business has she to come here?" +</P> + +<P> +"I do not choose to regale the neighbourhood with our family +jars"—said Fulk, quietly. +</P> + +<P> +And then—such a ridiculous child as Jaquetta was—she burst out +laughing, and cried, "What a feast they would be! Preserved crabs, I +suppose;" and she brought a tiny curl into the corner of his mouth. +</P> + +<P> +My pride was up, and I remember I answered, "You are right, Fulk. No +one shall say we are jealous, or shrink from the sight of her!" +</P> + +<P> +"When Smith told me that he had no idea who was the bidder, or he would +not have suffered it," said Fulk, "I told him I could have no possible +objection!" +</P> + +<P> +And so we endured it in our pride and our dignity. +</P> + +<P> +Lady Hester Lea was the heroine of the neighbourhood. The romance of +the disowned daughter was charming; and I was far too disagreeable to +excite any counterbalancing pity. She was handsome, and everybody +raved about her likeness to poor papa and the family portraits; and her +Montreal convent had given her manners quite distinct from English +vulgarity; or, maybe, her blood told on her bearing, for she was +immensely admired for her demeanour, quite as much as for her beauty. +</P> + +<P> +Old Miss Prior—whom no coldness on my part could check in her +assiduous kindness, and nothing would hinder from affectionately +telling us whatever we did not want to hear—kept us constantly +informed of the new comer's triumphs. Especially she would dwell upon +the sensation that Lady Hester produced, and all that the gentlemen +said of her. Her name stood as lady patroness to all the balls and +fancy fairs, and archery, that Shinglebay produced; and there was no +going to shop there without her barouche coming clattering down the +street with the two prancing greys, and poor little Trevor inside, with +a looped-up hat and ostrich feather exactly like Alured's; for by some +intention she always dressed him in the exact likeness of his little +uncle's. I used to think Miss Prior told her, and sedulously prevented +her ever seeing his lordship out of his brown holland pinafores, but +the same rule still held good. +</P> + +<P> +What tender enquiries poor Miss Prior used to make after "the dear +little lord," as she called him. My asseverations of his health and +intelligence generally eliciting that it was current among Lady +Hester's friends that he could neither stand nor speak, and was so +imbecile that it was a mercy that he could not live to be eight years +old. +</P> + +<P> +Of course that was what Hester was waiting for. And no small pleasure +was it when Alured would come pattering in with a shout of "Ursa, +Ursa," and as soon as he saw a lady, would stop, and pull off his hat +from his chestnut curls like the little gentleman he always was. +</P> + +<P> +Spinney Lawn was bought before Joel Lea came to England. If he had +seen where it was I doubt whether he would have consented to the +purchase; but Perrault managed it all, and then, with what he had made +out of the case, bought himself a share in Meakin's office at +Shinglebay, and constituted himself Lady Hester's legal adviser. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Lea, after vainly trying to get his wife to return to Sault St. +Pierre, thought it wrong to be apart from her and his son, and came to +England. +</P> + +<P> +Fulk went at once to call on him, expecting to be disgusted with +Yankeeisms; but came home, saying he had found a more unlucky man than +himself! +</P> + +<P> +Fancy a great, big, plain, hard-working back-woodsman, bred only to the +axe and rifle, with illimitable forests to range in, happy in toil and +homely plenty, and a little king to himself, set down in an English +villa, with a trim garden and paddock, and servants everywhere to +deprive him of the very semblance to occupation! +</P> + +<P> +Poor man! he had not even the alleviation of being proud of it, and +trying to live up to it. Puritan to the bone of his broad back, he +thought everything as wicked as it was wearisome and foolish; and lived +like Faithful in "Vanity Fair," solely enduring it for the sake of his +wife and son. I suppose he could not have carried her off, or altered +her course without the strong hand; for she was a determined woman, all +the more resolute because she acted for her child. +</P> + +<P> +He was a staunch Dissenter, and would not go to church with Lady +Hester, who did so as a needful part of the belonging of her station, +or, perhaps, to watch over us, but trudged two miles every Sunday to +the meeting-house at Shinglebay, where he was a great light, and spent +all that she allowed him on the minister and the Sunday school. +</P> + +<P> +As to society, he abhorred it on principle, and kept out of the way +when his wife gave her parties. If she had an old affection for him in +the depths of her heart, it was swallowed up in vexation and +provocation; and no wonder, for the verdict of society, as Miss Prior +reported it, was—"How sad that such a woman as Lady Hester should have +been thrown away on a mere common man—not a bit better than a +labourer." +</P> + +<P> +I detested him like all the rest; but Fulk declared he was sublime in +passive endurance, and used to make opportunities of consulting him +about cattle or farming, just to interest him. +</P> + +<P> +Fulk and the dissenting minister were the only friends the poor man +had, and the latter Hester would not let into her house. As to +Perrault, he loathed and shrank from him as the real destroyer of all +his peace, and still the most dangerous influence about his wife. He +never said so, but we felt it. +</P> + +<P> +I think the poor man's happiest hours were spent here; and, now and +then in a press of work, or to show how a thing ought to be done, he +put his own hand to axe, lever, or hay-fork, and toiled with that +cruelly-wasted alert strength. +</P> + +<P> +Fulk always says there never was anyone who taught him so much as Joel +Lea, and he means deeper things than farming. +</P> + +<P> +Sometimes Mr. Lea brought his little boy. I was vexed at first; but +Alured, who had hardly spoken to a child before, was in ecstasies, as +if a new existence had come upon him; and Trevor Lea was really a very +nice little boy. He was only half a year the elder; and they were so +much alike that strangers did not know them apart, dressed alike, as +they were; or they were taken for twins, and it made people laugh to +find they were uncle and nephew. +</P> + +<P> +And I must allow the nephew was the best behaved, though it made me +savage to hear Fulk say so. But our Ally's was not real +naughtiness—only the consequence of our not being able to keep up +discipline, while we lived in dread of that seventh year that might +rob us of our darling—always sweet and loving. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap05"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER V. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +SPINNEY LAWN. +</H3> + +<P> +A change or two began to creep into our life. One afternoon, as +Jaquetta, in her pretty pink gingham and white apron, with her black +hair in the Grecian coil we used to wear when our heads were allowed to +be of their own proper size, was gathering crimson apples from the +quarrendon tree close to the river, a voice came over the water— +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, my good girl, if you would but stand so a minute, and allow me to +sketch you!" +</P> + +<P> +Jaquetta started round and laughed. No doubt she was looking like an +Arcadian; but I—as from under the trees I saw two gentlemen on the +other side of the little stream, and jumped up to come to her +defence—I must have looked more like a displeased if not +draggle-tailed duchess, for there was an immediate disconcerted begging +of our pardons, and a hasty departure. +</P> + +<P> +Jaquetta made a very funny account of my spring forward in awful +dignity, so horribly affronted at her being called a good girl! and she +made Fulk laugh heartily. The gloom did seem to be lightening on him +now. +</P> + +<P> +Walking tourists, we supposed, though one we thought was a clergyman; +and on Sunday we saw him in the desk and the draughtsman in the +parsonage pew; and we discovered that these were the proposed new +curate, Mr. Cradock, and his younger brother. Our rector was a canon +who had bad health and never came near us, and the poor old curate was +past work, and, indeed, died a week or two after he had given up. +</P> + +<P> +I saw that younger brother colour up to the roots of his bright hair as +Jaquetta walked up the aisle, in her drawn black silk bonnet with the +pink lining (made by herself); and I think she coloured too, for she +was rosier than usual when we faced round in the corners of our pew. +</P> + +<P> +We saw no more of them for a month, and a dainty, bridal-looking little +lady appeared in the parsonage seat, with white ribbons in her straw +bonnet, and modest little orange flowers in the frill round her +pleasant face. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Cradock she was, we heard; and not only Miss Prior, but Fulk, +wanted us to call on her. +</P> + +<P> +"What's the use?" said I. "Farmers' families are not on visiting terms +with the ladies of the parsonage." +</P> + +<P> +Poor Jaquey uttered an "Oh dear!" but she and Fulk knew I was past +moving in that mood. +</P> + +<P> +However, one morning in the next week, in walked Fulk into the +keeping-room, and the clergyman with him, and found Jaquey and me +standing at the long table under the window, peeling and cutting up +apples for apple-cheese. +</P> + +<P> +"Mr. Cradock, my sister," he said, just in the old tone when he brought +a friend into our St. James's-street drawing-room; and he hardly gave +time for the shaking of hands before he had returned to the discussion +about the change of ministry, just with the voice and animation I had +not seen for two whole years. +</P> + +<P> +We went on with our apples. For one thing, we were not wanted; for +another, there was no fire in the little parlour, and the gentlemen +both seemed to be enjoying the bright one that was burning on the +hearth. +</P> + +<P> +The only difficulty was that dinner time began to approach. The men +could not be kept waiting; and I heard Alured awake from his sleep, +pattering about and shouting; and as we began to gather up our apples +one of the maids peeped in with a table-cloth over her arm. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Cradock saw, though Fulk did not, and said his wife would expect +him; and then he looked most pleasantly to me, and said he was not at +all wanted at home, while his wife was luxuriating in a settlement of +furniture; but this was, he was assured, the last day of confusion, and +to-morrow she would be quite ready for all who would be so good as to +call on her. +</P> + +<P> +I could only say I would do myself the pleasure; and then he still +waited a moment to say that his brother Arthur could not recover from +his dismay at his greeting to Miss Torwood. +</P> + +<P> +"But," he said, "the boy's head was quite turned by the beauty of the +country. He had been raving all day about the new poet, Alfred +Tennyson, and I believe he thought he had walked into lotus-land." +</P> + +<P> +"Nearer the dragon of the Hesperides, perhaps," said Fulk, laughing. +"Is he with you now?" +</P> + +<P> +"No; he has gone back to Oxford. He is in his second year; and whether +he takes to medicine or to art is to be settled by common-sense or +genius." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, but if he has genius?" began Jaquetta eagerly. +</P> + +<P> +"That's the question," said Mr. Cradock, laughing. "But I am hindering +you shamefully," and with that he took his leave, having quite +demolished our barriers. +</P> + +<P> +And his wife was of the same nature—simple, blithe, and bonny—ready +to make friends in a moment; and though she must have known all about +us, never seeming to remember anything but that we were her nearest +lady neighbours. +</P> + +<P> +Jaquetta, whose young friendships had been broken short off, because +the poor girls really did not know how to correspond with her under +present circumstances, took to Mrs. Cradock with eager enthusiasm, and +tripped across the park to her two or three times a week, and became +delightedly interested in all her doings, parochial or otherwise. +</P> + +<P> +Dear Jaquey's happy nature had always been content; but when I saw how +exceedingly she enjoyed the variety, liveliness, and occupations +brought by the Cradocks, I felt that it had been scarcely kind to +seclude her to gratify my own sole pride; but then there had been +nobody like the Cradocks—to drop or be dropped. +</P> + +<P> +The refreshment to Fulk was even greater. The having a man to converse +with, and break his mind against, one who would argue, and who really +cared for the true principles of politics, made an immense difference +to him. When after tea he said he would walk to the parsonage to see +how the debate had gone, and we knew we should not see him till +half-past ten, we could not but be glad; it must have been so much +pleasanter than playing at chess, listening to our old music, or +reading even the new books they lent us. +</P> + +<P> +He brightened greatly that winter, and I ceased to fear that he was +getting a farmer's slouch. He looked as stately and beautiful as ever +Lord Torwood had done, and the dejection had gone out of his face and +bearing, when suddenly it returned again; and as Miss Prior was away +from home, I never found out the cause till one day, as I was shopping +at Shinglebay, and was telling the linen draper that Mr. Torwood would +call for the parcel, I saw the lady at the other counter start and turn +round, as if at a sudden shock. +</P> + +<P> +Then I saw the white doe eyes, full of the old pleading expression, and +the lips quivering wistfully, but I only said to myself, "The old arts! +That is what has overthrown Fulk again;" and away I went with a rigid +bow, and said nothing. +</P> + +<P> +There was no exchange of calls. That was not my fault, for we could +not have begun; and we heard that Mrs. Deerhurst said, "The Torwoods +had shown very good taste in retiring from all society, poor things. +Only it was a great mistake to remain in the neighbourhood—so awkward +for everybody!" +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Cradock was much struck with Emily's sweet looks; but I believe +that Jaquetta told her all about it, and we never met the Deerhursts +there. +</P> + +<P> +In fact they were not intimate, for there must have been a repulsion +between Mrs. Deerhurst and such a woman as Mary Cradock. +</P> + +<P> +The Deerhursts owned a villa on the outskirts of Shinglebay; indeed, I +believe it was the difficulty in letting it that had unwillingly forced +Mrs. Deerhurst home, after having married her second daughter, but not +Emily. She was only a mile and a half from Spinney Lawn, and speedily +became familiar there, being as entirely Hester's counsellor in +etiquette as was Perrault on business. People saw a marked improvement +in elegance from the time she became adviser. +</P> + +<P> +That next winter poor Joel Lea died. I suppose it was merely the +dulness and want of exercise that killed him, for he had lost flesh and +grown languid in manner for months before a low fever set in, and he +had no power to struggle with it. +</P> + +<P> +He had been ill a long time, when he sent a message to beg Mr. Torwood +to come and see him. Jaquetta and I persuaded ourselves that he had +discovered that Perrault had suborned witnesses, or done something that +would falsify the whole trial. +</P> + +<P> +Jaquetta said she should be very glad for Fulk, and if it happened now +little Alured would never feel it; but for her own part, she should +hate to go back to be my lady again. She had never known before what +happiness was. +</P> + +<P> +I could not help laughing. Nobody had ever detected anything amiss +with Lady Jaquetta Trevor's spirits, but that they were too high at +times. +</P> + +<P> +"Of course I don't mean that I was miserable!" she said; "but there's +something now that does make everything so delicious." +</P> + +<P> +"Could you not take that something to the park?" I asked, laughing. +</P> + +<P> +"I don't know! It would not be so bad if I could run in and out at the +parsonage as I do now." +</P> + +<P> +And as I smiled, it smote me as I recollected that Arthur Cradock was +always at the parsonage in the vacations. Jaquetta had been sketched +many a time as nymph of the orchard, and many a nymph besides. And if +he was yielding to his brother's wisdom in making medicine his study +and art his pleasure, was not our unconscious maiden the sugar that +sweetened the cup of prudence? Might not elevation be as sore a trial +to her as depression had been to us? +</P> + +<P> +However, our troubling ourselves was all nonsense. Good Joel Lea would +never have connived at any evil doings. All he had wanted of Fulk was +to be certain of his forgiveness for the injury he had suffered through +his wife, and to entreat him to keep a watch over her and the boy. +</P> + +<P> +"You are her brother, when all is come and gone," he said; "and I do +not trust that Perrault. If ever he fails her, or turns against her, +you'll stand her friend, and look to the boy?" +</P> + +<P> +Fulk heartily promised, and Joel further begged him to write to her +eldest brother, Francis Dayman (who was prospering immensely in the +timber trade), and let him know the state of things—though he had been +so angered at Hester's sacrifice of his mother's good name and his own +birth, that he had broken with her entirely. +</P> + +<P> +"But if anyone can get her out of Perrault's hands, it is Francis," +poor Joel said; and he went on to talk of his poor boy, about whom he +was very anxious, having no trust in any of Hester's intimates, and +begging Fulk to throw a good word to him now and then. +</P> + +<P> +"He thinks much of you," he said. "I heard him tell Miss Deerhurst +that it was no use for anyone to try to be such an out-and-out +gentleman as his uncle, for they couldn't do it, and he had rather be +like you than anyone else. I don't care for gentlemen, and all that +foolery, as you know. I wish I could leave him to my old mate, Eli +Potter; but you are true and honest, Fulk Torwood, and I think not so +far from the kingdom—" +</P> + +<P> +Then he asked Fulk to read a chapter to him. No one else would do so, +except little Trevor, when now and then left alone with him; but Hester +would not believe him seriously ill, and thought the Bible wearied him +and made him low spirited; and as to his friend the Dissenter, she +would never admit him. +</P> + +<P> +Fulk was so indignant that he wanted to drive to Shinglebay and fetch +Mr. Ball, but Lea thanked him and half smiled at his superstition of +thinking that a minister was needed to speed his soul; but he was +pleased that Fulk came to him on each of the four or five remaining +days of his life, and read to him whatever he wished. +</P> + +<P> +He sank suddenly at last, while Hester was at church on Sunday morning, +and died when alone with Fulk. +</P> + +<P> +Somehow the intense reality of that man and the true comfort his faith +was to him made an immense impression on my brother, and seemed, as it +were, to give the communication between his religious belief and his +feelings, which had somehow not been in force before. He thought and +borrowed books from Mr. Cradock, and there came a deepening and +softening over him, which one saw in many ways, that made him dearer +than ever. He looked more at peace, even though one felt that each +passing sight of Emily was a sting. +</P> + +<P> +Hester was dreadfully stricken down at first, and her anguish of +lamentation and self-reproach was terrible to witness; but she would +not hear of Fulk's fetching either of us—indeed, I fancy that was the +fault of my dry, cold looks—nor would she allow him to do anything for +her. +</P> + +<P> +Mrs. Deerhurst came to be with her, and Perrault managed everything. +</P> + +<P> +They had a magnificent funeral—much grander than my father's—and laid +him in the family vault. +</P> + +<P> +Perrault took the opportunity of insulting Fulk by pairing him with old +Hall, the ex-agent; but Hall found it out in time, and refused to go, +and when the moment came everybody fell back, and Fulk found himself +close to poor little Trevor, who tried to get his hand out of +Perrault's and cling to him; but Perrault held him tight till, at the +moment when they moved to the mouth of the vault and were to go down +the steps, terror completely seized the poor child, and he began to +shriek so fearfully that Fulk had to snatch him up and carry him out of +the church, trembling from head to foot. +</P> + +<P> +It was very cruel to send a sensitive child of six years old in that +way; but Hester was too much exhausted with her violent grief to go +herself, and, devoted mother as she was in all else, she never +perceived that poor child's instinctive shrinking from Perrault. +</P> + +<P> +We tried to be kind to her, and hoped she would soften towards us; but +she did not. I could see her eyes glitter with their keen, searching +glance under her crape veil, as if she were measuring Alured all over +when the child walked into church with me; and, indeed, when he went to +the Zoological Gardens some time later, and saw the cobra di capello, +he said— +</P> + +<P> +"Ursa, why does that snake look at me just like Lady Hester?" +</P> + +<P> +There must have been fascination in the eager mystery of the gaze, for, +strangely enough, he was not afraid of her. She always made much of +him if he came in her way, and he was so fond of Trevor Lea that +nothing made him so eager or happy as the thought of seeing him. +</P> + +<P> +The one idea that her boy was ousted by Alured, and the longing to see +him the heir, seemed to drive out everything else from Hester—almost +feeling for her husband. +</P> + +<P> +Fulk had written to Francis Dayman, and he intended to come and see +after his sister as soon as he could leave his business; but this +rather precipitated matters. Hester was persuaded that Alured could +not live through that eighth year of his life at the utmost, and +Perrault somehow persuaded her, that only as her husband could he +protect her interests and Trevor's, though what machinations she could +have expected from us, I cannot guess; or how, in the case of a minor, +we could have interfered with her rights. But the man had gained such +an ascendancy over her, that she did not even perceive that the +connection was not good for that great object of hers, her son's +position in society. In fact, he persuaded her that he was of a noble +old French family, and ought to be a count. How we laughed when we +heard of it! She did preserve wisdom enough to insist upon having her +fortune conveyed to trustees for her son, so that Perrault could only +touch the income, and not the principal; and as she told everyone that +he had been determined upon this being done, I suppose he saw that any +demur would excite her suspicion. +</P> + +<P> +They went to London, and were married there, while we were still +scouting poor Miss Prior's rumours. We were very sorry when we thought +of poor Joel's charge; and, besides, "the count" had an uncomfortable +slippery look about him. I can't describe it otherwise. He was a +slim, trim, well-dressed man, only given to elaborate jewellery and +waistcoats, with polished black hair and boots, and keen French-looking +eyes, well-mannered, and so versatile and polite, that he soon overcame +people's prejudices; and he was thought to make a much better master of +the house than poor Joel had ever done. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap06"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VI. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE WHITE DOE'S WARNING. +</H3> + +<P> +Here was Alured's eighth birthday, and he had never been ill at all, +but was as fine-looking healthy a boy as could be seen. +</P> + +<P> +We took him to London, and showed him to Dr. Hart, and he said that the +old tendency was entirely outgrown, and that Lord Trevorsham was as +likely to live and thrive as any child of his age in England. +</P> + +<P> +It really seemed the beginning of a new life, not to have that dreadful +fear hanging over us any longer! We felt settled, that was one thing; +not as if we should do as Bertram expected, have to come off to New +Zealand. +</P> + +<P> +The farm had just began to pay. Fulk's sales of cattle had been, for +the first time, more than enough to clear his rent. He had a great ox +in the Smithfield Cattle Show, and met our Lupton uncles there not as +an unsuccessful man. +</P> + +<P> +And I? I had a dim feeling that Alured would soon cease to need me, +and Jaquetta would not be claimed for a long time; and if— +</P> + +<P> +But in the midst of that I saw a haggard face driving in the park by +the side of a little, over-dressed, faded woman. +</P> + +<P> +And Aunt Amelia told me how (in the rebound from my harshness, no +doubt) Mr. Decies had, as it were, dropped into the hands of a weak, +extravagant girl, who had long been using all the intellect she had to +attract him, and now led him a dreary life of perpetual dissipation. +</P> + +<P> +I don't know how much I had been to blame. I am sure he was meant for +better things. Mine could never have been real love for him, and the +refusal could not have been wrong. It must have been the pride and +harshness that stung him! +</P> + +<P> +I was very sorry for him, though I could not think about it, of course, +still less speak; but that was the beginning of my hating myself, and I +have hated myself more and more ever since I have taken to write all +this down, and seen how hard and foolish I was, how very much the worst +of the three. +</P> + +<P> +Even my care for Alured sprang out of exclusive passion, and so, though +I do think that by Heaven's mercy I had a great share in cherishing him +into strength and health, I had managed him badly, I had indulged him +over much, and was improperly resentful of any attempt of Jaquetta, or +even of Fulk, to interfere with him or restrain him. +</P> + +<P> +Thus, when the anxiety was over, and he was a strong boy, full of +health and activity, his will was entirely unrestrained, he had no +notion of minding any of us, still less of learning. Trevor Lea could +read, write, talk French, say a few Latin declensions, when Alured +could not read a word of three letters, and would not try to learn. +</P> + +<P> +Oh! the antics he played when I tried to teach him! Then Fulk tried, +and he was tame for three days, but then came idleness, wilfulness, +anger, punishment, but he laughed to scorn all that we could find in +our hearts to do to him. +</P> + +<P> +As to getting other help we were ashamed till he should be a little +less shamefully backward. The Cradocks offered to teach him, but then, +unless he was elaborately put on honour, he played truant. +</P> + +<P> +He had plenty of honour, plenty of affection, but not the smallest +conscience as to obedience; and Fulk would not have the other two +motives worked too hard, saying the one might break, the other give way. +</P> + +<P> +We had not taught obedience, so we had to take the consequences, and we +were the less able to enforce it that he had come to a knowledge of our +mutual relations much sooner than we intended, and in the worst manner +possible. +</P> + +<P> +Of course he knew himself to be Lord Trevorsham, and owner of the +property; but one day, when Fulk found him galloping his pony in the +field laid up for hay, and ordered him out, he retorted that "You ain't +my proper brother, and you haven't any rights over me! It is my field; +and I shall do as I like." +</P> + +<P> +Fulk got hold of the pony's bridle, and took Alured by the shoulder +without one word, then took him into the little study, and had it out +with him. +</P> + +<P> +It was Hester who had told him. He had been at Spinney Lawn with +Trevor all one afternoon, when we had thought him out with old Sisson. +He had told no falsehood indeed, but Hester and her husband had made +him understand, so far as such a child could do, that there was some +disgrace connected with us; that Fulk had once been in his place, and +only wanted to get it back, and now had it all his own way with his +young lordship's property, and that he owed us neither duty nor +affection, only to his true relative, Lady Hester Perrault. +</P> + +<P> +The dear boy had maintained stoutly that he did love Ursula and +Jacquey, and that Hester wasn't half so nice, and that he had rather +they bullied him than that she coaxed him! But there was the poison +sown—to rankle and grow and burst out when he was opposed. He had +full faith and trust in Fulk, and accepted his history, owning, indeed, +from a boy, that he had been a horrid little wretch for saying what he +did, and asking whether it had not been a great bore; indeed, he +behaved all the better instead of the worse for some little time, dear +fellow. +</P> + +<P> +But he was too big and strong to tie to one's apron-string, and his +greatest pleasure was in being with Trevor. I think Trevor's own +influence never did any harm. Poor Joel Lea had trained him well, and +he was a conscientious, good boy, who often hindered Alured from +insubordination; but the attraction to Spinney Lawn was a mischievous +thing—for there was no doubt that the heads of the family would set +him against us if they could. +</P> + +<P> +So Fulk thought it wiser to send him to school, since he was learning +nothing properly at home, and only getting more disobedient and unruly. +</P> + +<P> +Immediately Trevor Lea was sent to the same school, to the boys' great +delight. They cared little that Trevor was placed nearly at the top +and Trevorsham at the bottom of the little preparatory school. They +held together just as much, and Alured came home wonderfully improved +and delightfully good, but more than ever inseparable from Trevor. +</P> + +<P> +In the meantime Francis Dayman had come to pay his sister a visit. He +had made some fortunate speculations, and had come on to be a merchant +of considerable wealth and weight in the Hudson's Bay Company. +</P> + +<P> +A handsome man of a good deal of strength and force he seemed to be, +and Perrault had certainly been wise in securing his prize before +Hester had such a guardian. +</P> + +<P> +He was an open, straight-forward man, with a fresh breath of the forest +about him; successful beyond all his hopes, and full of activity. He +took to Fulk, and seemed to have a strong fellow-feeling for us. +</P> + +<P> +But little had Fulk expected to be made the confidant of his vehement +admiration for Emily Deerhurst. The gentle lady-like girl impressed +the backwoodsman in a wondrous manner. It seemed to him, as if his +wealth would have real value, if he could pour it all out on her. +</P> + +<P> +And her mother encouraged him. Emily was six years older than when she +had cast off Fulk, and there was a pale changed look about her; and the +rich Canadian, who could buy a baronetcy, and do anything she asked, +tempted Mrs. Deerhurst. +</P> + +<P> +Though, as Fulk said bitterly, if the stain on his birth was all the +cause of the utter withdrawal, was it not the same with Francis Dayman? +Only in his case it was gilded! +</P> + +<P> +Dayman knew nothing of this former affair. The world was forgetting +it, and if Hester knew it, she kept it from his knowledge, so he used +to consult Fulk as to what was to be done to please an English lady, +and whether he was too rough for her; and Fulk stood it all. He even +knew when the young lady herself was brought forward—and refused, +gently, sadly, courteously, but unmistakably; and then, when driven +hard by the eager wooing, owned to an old attachment, that never would +permit her to marry! +</P> + +<P> +What a light there was in Fulk's eyes when he whispered that into my +ears! And yet he had kept his counsel, even though Mr. Dayman told him +that the mother declared it to be a foolish romantic affair of very +early girlhood, that no doubt his perseverance would overthrow. +</P> + +<P> +"And her persecution!" muttered poor Fulk. But he did enjoy the +confidences in a bitter-sweet fashion. It was justifiable to be a dog +in the manger under the circumstances. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Dayman went to London, and Hester was negotiating about a house +where Mrs. Deerhurst and her daughters were to stay with her for a few +weeks. I fancy Mrs. Deerhurst thought that the chance of seeing Farmer +Torwood ride by to market had a bad effect. It was the Easter +holidays, and both boys were at home; always trying to be together, and +we not finding it easy to keep Alured from Spinney Lawn, without such +flat refusals as would have given his sister legitimate cause of +complaint and offence. +</P> + +<P> +One beautiful spring afternoon, when Alured, to my vexation and vague +uneasiness, had gone over there, I was sowing annuals in the garden and +watching for him at the same time, when, to my surprise, I saw, coming +over the fields from the park, a lady with a quick, timid, yet wearied +step. Had she lost her way, I thought? There was something of the +tame fawn in her movement; and then I remembered the white doe. Yes! +it was Emily! +</P> + +<P> +The one haunting anxiety of my life broke out—"You haven't come to say +there's anything amiss with my boy?" I cried out. +</P> + +<P> +"No; oh no! I think he is safe now; but I wanted to tell you, I think +you ought to be warned." +</P> + +<P> +She was trembling so much that I wanted to bring her in and make her +rest; but she would only sit down on the step of the stile, and there +she whispered it, in this way. +</P> + +<P> +"You know there's a dreadful scarlet fever at old Brown's." +</P> + +<P> +"The old man that sells curiosities? No, I did not know it; I'll keep +Trevorsham away," I said, wondering she had come all this way; and then +asking in a fright, "Surely he has not been there?" +</P> + +<P> +"No; I met him on the road with Lady Hester Perrault, and I told them. +I walked back to Spinney Lawn with them. But," as I began to thank +her, and her voice went lower still, "but—oh, Ursula, Lady Hester knew +it!" +</P> + +<P> +"Knew it!" +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, knew it quite well." +</P> + +<P> +"She was doing it on purpose!" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh," Emily hid her face in her hands, "I pray God to forgive me if I +am doing a very cruel wicked wrong; but I can't help thinking it. I had +told her only yesterday how bad the fever was in that street. She said +she had forgotten it, and thanked me; but she had not her own boy, +Trevor, with her." +</P> + +<P> +I was too much frozen with the horror of the thing to speak at first, +and perhaps Emily thought I did not quite believe her, for she said, +under her breath, "And I've heard her talk—talk to mamma—about her +being so certain that Lord Trevorsham could not live, even when he was +past seven years old. They always have said that the first illness +would go to his head and carry him off. And when people do wish things +very much—" And then she grew frightened at herself, and began blaming +herself for the horrible fancy, but saying it haunted her every time +she saw Lord Trevorsham in Lady Hester's sight. That old ballad, "The +wee grovelling doo," would come into her head, and she had felt as if +any harm happened to the child it would be her fault for not having +spoken a word of warning, and this had determined her. +</P> + +<P> +By this time I had taken it in, and then the first thing I did was to +spring up and ask how she could leave the boy still in the woman's +power, to which she answered that she had walked them back to Spinney +Lawn—a whole mile—and that Lady Hester could not set forth again, now +that Alured had heard the conversation. +</P> + +<P> +He had been bent on going to buy a tame sea-gull there, as a birthday +present for Trevor; and Emily had lured him off from that, by a promise +of getting one from an old fisherman whom she knew. So there was not +much fear of his running back into the danger, though I should not have +a happy moment till he was in my sight again. +</P> + +<P> +Then Emily sprang up, saying, she must go. She had walked four miles, +and she must get back as fast as she could. Most likely mamma would +think her at Spinney Lawn. +</P> + +<P> +But what must not it have cost that timid thing to venture here with +her warning! +</P> + +<P> +It gave me a double sense of the reality of my boy's, peril, that she +had been excited to it, and she would not hear of coming in to rest; +and when I entreated her to wait till I could get the gig to drive her +part of the way, she held me fast, and insisted, with all the terror of +womanly shamefacedness, that, "he—that Tor—that Mr. Torwood—should +not know." And she sprang up to go home instantly, before he could +guess. +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, Emily, that is too bad, when nothing would make him so glad." +</P> + +<P> +"Oh! no, no! he has been used too ill; he can't care for me now, and as +if I should—" +</P> + +<P> +I don't think poor Emily uttered anything half so coherent as this, at +any rate I understood that she disclaimed the least possibility of his +affection continuing, and felt it an outrage on herself to be where she +could even suppose herself to have voluntarily put herself in his way. +</P> + +<P> +I thought there was nothing for it but to let her start, hurry after +her with some vehicle, and then call and bring home my boy; but in the +midst of my perplexity and her struggle with her tears, who should +appear on the scene but Fulk himself, driving home the spring cart +wherein, everybody being busy, he had conveyed a pig to a new home. +</P> + +<P> +I don't know how it was all done or said. My first notion was that he +should be warned of our dear boy's danger, and rescue him before +anything else. I could not get into my head that there was no present +reason for dread, and yet when I had gasped out "Oh, +Fulk—Alured—Fetch him home! Emily came to warn us!" the accusation +began to seem so monstrous and horrible that I could not go on with it +before Emily. She too, perhaps, found it harder to utter to a man than +to a woman, and between the strangeness of speaking to one another +again, and her shyness and his wonder and delight, it seemed to me +unreasonable that poor little Alured's danger was counting for nothing +between them, and I turned from the former reticence to the bereaved +tigress style, and burst out, "And are we to stand talking here while +our boy is in these people's power?" +</P> + +<P> +Then Fulk did listen to what it was all about; but even then it seemed +to me he would not think half so much of the peril as of what Emily had +done. In truth, I believe all they both wanted was to get out of my +way; but they pacified me by Fulk's undertaking, if Emily did not +object to the cart, to drive her across the park where no one would +meet her, and she could get out only a mile from home, and to call at +Spinney Lawn in returning by the road and take up Alured. +</P> + +<P> +What a drive that must have been! Fulk had the advantage over Emily in +knowing what poor Mr. Dayman had told him, whereas she, poor child, +only knew that he had been so vilely served that she thought his +affection and esteem had been entirely killed. +</P> + +<P> +They had it all out in that tax cart, a vehicle Fulk now regards as a +heavenly chariot, and I heard it all afterwards. +</P> + +<P> +Poor Emily! she had grown a great deal older in those six years. At +eighteen she had implicitly believed in her mother. Mrs. Deerhurst had +been so good all those years of striving not to frighten my father, +that she had been perfection in her daughter's eyes. Emily had +believed with all her heart in her apparent disinterestedness, and her +hopes and sympathy for us were real; and so, when the crash really +came, and she told the poor girl with floods of tears that it was +impossible, and a thing not to be thought of, for a right-minded woman +to unite herself to a man of such birth. And poor Emily, with the +conscious ignorance of eighteen, believed, and was the sort of gentle +creature who could easily be daunted by the terror that her generous +impulses to share the shame and namelessness were unfeminine and wrong. +The utter silence had been the consequence of her mother assuring her, +with authority, that the true kindness was to betray no token of +feeling that could cherish hope where all was hopeless, and that he +would regret her less if she commanded herself and gave him no look. +</P> + +<P> +It had been terrible, calm self-command, and obedience to abused filial +confidence in her mother's infallibility. +</P> + +<P> +And then Mrs. Deerhurst had been sinking ever since in her daughter's +esteem, as Emily could not but rise higher from the conscientious +struggle and self-denying submission, and besides grew older and had +more experience; while Mrs. Deerhurst, no doubt, deteriorated in the +foreign wandering life, and all her motives made themselves evident +when she married the younger daughter. +</P> + +<P> +Emily had thought for herself, and seen that advantage had been taken +of her innocence, and that her betrothed had rights, which, if she had +been older, she would not have been persuaded to ignore. But coming +home, two years later, and meeting my cold eyes and Fulk's ceremonious +bow, and hearing on all parts that he had accepted his position and had +a hard struggle to maintain his two sisters; she, knowing herself to be +portionless, could but suffer, and be still. +</P> + +<P> +Of course every attempt of her mother's to get her to marry +advantageously, and, even more, Mrs. Deerhurst's devotion to Lady +Hester, tore away more and more of the veil she had tried to keep over +her eyes; and as her youngest sister grew up into bloom, and into the +wish for society, Emily had been allowed more and more to go her own +quiet way in the religious and charitable life of Shinglebay, where she +had peace, if not joy. +</P> + +<P> +And then came the Dayman affair, when all the old persecution revived +again, and Emily's foremost defence against him, her blushing objection +to his birth, was set aside as a mere prudish fancy of a young girl. +</P> + +<P> +The gentle Emily had been irate then, and all the more when her mother +tried to cover her inconsistency by alleging that everybody knew of +Lord Torwood's fall, whereas no one knew or cared who Francis Dayman +was, or where he came from. Henceforth Emily's shame at the usage of +Fulk had been double—or rather it turned into indignation. Reports +that he was to marry a rich grazier's daughter had no effect in turning +her in pique to Dayman. She had firmly told her mother that if it were +wrong for her to take the one, it must be equally so to take the other. +</P> + +<P> +This Mrs. Deerhurst had concealed from poor Mr. Dayman; nor would +Emily's modesty allow her to utter the objection to the man's own face. +So Mrs. Deerhurst encouraged him, and trusted to London reports of the +grazier's daughter, and persevering appeals to that filial sense of +duty which had been strained so much too far. +</P> + +<P> +And now, how did it stand? +</P> + +<P> +When I, secure in knowing that Alured was safe at home, thinking it +abominable nonsense in Miss Deerhurst to have bothered about scarlet +fever, Hester herself had said so. When I could hear Fulk's happiness, +and try to analyse it, what did it amount to? +</P> + +<P> +Why, that they knew they loved one another still, and never meant to +cease. And with what hopes? Alas! the hopes were all for some time or +other. Emily would do nothing in flat disobedience, and there was +little or no hope of her mother's consent to her marrying Farmer +Torwood. She meant to tell her mother thus much, that she had seen +him, and that they loved each other as much as ever; and as Mrs. +Deerhurst had waived the objection to Dayman, it could not hold in the +other case. It would be, in fact, a tacit compact—scarcely an +engagement—with what amount of meeting or correspondence must be left +for duty and principle to decide, but the love that had existed without +aliment for six years might trust now. And "hap what hap," there never +was a happier man than my Fulk that evening. +</P> + +<P> +He was too joyous not to be universally charitable. Nay, he called it +a blessed fancy of Emily's that brought her here, as it was Emily's, +and had brought him such bliss he could not quite scorn it, but he did +not, <I>could</I> not believe in it as we did. It was culpable carelessness +in Hester, but colonial people had been used to such health that they +did not care about infection. But it was a glorious act of Emily's! +In fact the manly mind could believe nothing so horrible of any woman. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap07"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VII. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +HUNTING. +</H3> + +<P> +Emily told Mr. Dayman the whole truth. Poor fellow! he could not face +Fulk again, and went back to Canada. +</P> + +<P> +No doubt Emily went through a great deal, but we never exactly knew +what. +</P> + +<P> +Fulk wrote to Mrs. Deerhurst, stating that he hoped in four years' time +to be able to purchase the farm, of which he had the lease, and without +going into the past, asking her sanction to the engagement. +</P> + +<P> +She sent a cold letter in answer, to desire that the impertinence +should not be repeated. +</P> + +<P> +And Emily wrote that her mother would not hear of the engagement, and +she knew Fulk would not wish her to deceive or disobey, "And so we must +trust one another still; but how sweet to do that!" +</P> + +<P> +And when any of us met her there were precious little words and looks, +and Fulk meant to try again after the four years. In the meantime he +was much respected, and had made himself a place of his own. It chafed +Hester to perceive that though she had pulled us down she could not +depress us after the first. She had lowered her position, too, by her +marriage. At first Perrault was on his good behaviour, and made a +favourable impression among the second-rate Shinglebay society Hester +got round her; but as the hopes of the title coming to her diminished, +he kept less within bounds, did not treat her well at home, and took to +racing and gambling. +</P> + +<P> +I never could get Fulk to share my alarms about Alured, but he did not +think Perrault's society fit for the boy, told Alured so, and forbade +him to go to Spinney Lawn. But though Alured was much improved as to +obedience, it was almost impossible to enforce this command. Hester +had some strange fascination for him. She would fiercely caress him at +times, and he knew she was his sister, and could not see why, when she +was often alone, he should not be with her. The passion for Trevor was +in full force, too, and the boys could not be content only to meet at +the farm. We tried sending Alured to make visits from home in the +holidays, but he did not like it, and he was not happy; his heart was +with his home, and with Trevor. We tried having a tutor for the spring +holidays before he went to Eton, but it did not answer. He was not a +sensible man, did not like dining in the keeping-room with the +household, and though he did it, he showed that he thought it a +condescension. +</P> + +<P> +Moreover, instead of attending to Alured, he was always trying to flirt +with Jaquetta, infinitely disturbing Arthur Cradock's peace; and the +end of it was, that Alured was a great deal more left to his own +devices than ever he had been before, and exasperated besides. +</P> + +<P> +He was in that mood, when one day, as he was riding along the lanes, he +met Perrault and Trevor coming in from hunting. +</P> + +<P> +Alured had a very pretty pony, but he was growing rather large for it, +and Fulk had promised that, if he worked well at Eton, he should have a +lovely little Arab, that was being trained by a dealer he knew; and +that another year, Fulk himself would go out hunting with him. +</P> + +<P> +Perrault began to pity him for having missed the run. Why did not his +brother take him out? Fulk's old mare was a sort of elephant, and it +was not convenient to get another horse just then. That Alured knew +and explained, but he was pitied the more for being kept back, and +Perrault ended by saying that if on the next hunting day he could meet +them at the corner of the park, a capital mount should be there for him. +</P> + +<P> +The hour was attainable if Alured made haste with his studies, and he +accepted gladly, and without compunction. Fulk had never in so many +words forbidden him, and besides, Fulk had delegated his authority to +the hateful tutor. +</P> + +<P> +But the next morning, before Alured was up Trevor was in his bedroom. +"You won't go, Trevorsham?" +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, I shall; I'm not such a muff as to stay for that fellow." +</P> + +<P> +But I need not try to tell what passed, as of course I did not hear it; +I never so much as knew of it till long after, only Trevorsham was +determined, and Trevor tried all round the due arguments of principle, +honour, and duty; but Alured had worked up a schoolboy +self-justification on all points, and besides had the stronghold of "I +will," and "I don't care." +</P> + +<P> +Then Trevor told him, under his breath, he was sure it was not a safe +horse. But my high-spirited boy laughed this to scorn. "And perhaps +he'll play you some trick," added Trevor. But Trevorsham was still +undaunted in his self-will, till Trevor resolutely announced his +determination, if nothing else would stop it, of going at once to Fulk, +and informing him. +</P> + +<P> +The boy endured all the rage and scorn that a threat so contrary to all +schoolboy codes of honour and friendship might deserve. I believe +Alured struck him, but at any rate Trevor Lea gained his point, though +at the cost of a desperate quarrel. +</P> + +<P> +Alured held aloof and sulked at him for the remaining fortnight at +home, and only vouchsafed the explanation to us that "Lea was a horrid +little sneak, and he had done with him." +</P> + +<P> +They did not make it up till they met in the same house at Eton, and +then, though Trevor was placed far above Alured, they became as +friendly as ever. In fact, I believe, Alured, having imprudently +denominated himself by his full title, was having it kicked out of him, +when the fortunate possessor of the monosyllabic name came and stood by +him and made common cause, to the entire renewing of love. +</P> + +<P> +Poor Trevor! his was a dreary home. His mother loved him passionately, +but she was an anxious, worn, disappointed woman, always craving, +restless and expectant of something, and Perrault was always tormenting +her for money. He was deeply in debt, and though he could not touch +the bulk of her fortune—neither, indeed, could she, as it was conveyed +to trustees—he was always demanding money of her, and bullying her; +while matters grew worse and worse, and they were in danger of having +to let Spinney Lawn and go to live abroad. +</P> + +<P> +As to keeping Trevor at Eton that was becoming impossible. At +Christmas the tutor consulted Fulk about how he should get Lea's bills +paid, and intimated that he must not return unless this were done. +</P> + +<P> +And poor Trevor himself had little comfort except with us. We +encouraged him to come to us, for we had all come to have a very real +love for the dear lad himself, and we saw he was unhappy at home; +besides that, it was the only way of keeping Alured contented. +</P> + +<P> +Trevor had entirely left off inviting Alured to Spinney Lawn. Partly, +he was too gentlemanly and good a boy not to be ashamed of the men who +hung about the stables; and besides, we now perceive that the same +awful impression that was on Emily Deerhurst was upon him, and that he +had a sense that Trevorsham was regarded in a manner that made his +presence there a peril. +</P> + +<P> +He was but a boy, and it was an undefined horror, and he never breathed +a word of it; but oh, there was a weight on that young brow, an anxious +look about the face, and though now and then he would be all joy and +fun, still there was the older, more sorrowful look about him. +</P> + +<P> +We thought he was grieving at not going back to Eton, and Fulk was +living in hopes of an answer to the letter he had written to Francis +Dayman about it, but that was not all. One day—Christmas Eve it +was—Mr. Cradock, on coming into the church to look at the holly +wreaths, found Trevor kneeling on his father's gravestone in the +pavement, sobbing as if his heart was breaking, and heard between the +sobs a broken prayer about "Forgive"—"don't let them do it"—"turn +mother's heart." +</P> + +<P> +Then Mr. Cradock went out of hearing, but he waited for the boy +outside, and asked if he could do anything for him. +</P> + +<P> +"No." Trevor shook his head, thanked him, and grew reserved. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap08"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VIII. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +DUCK SHOOTING. +</H3> + +<P> +Alured's thirteenth birthday was on the 10th of January, and he had +extracted a promise from Fulk, to take him duck-shooting to the mouth +of our little river. +</P> + +<P> +Nothing can be prettier than our tide river by day, with the retreating +banks overhung with trees, the long-legged herons standing in the firs, +looking like toys in a German box; while the breadth of blue water +reflects the trees that bend down to it. +</P> + +<P> +But, on a winter's night, to creep in perfect silence and lie still +under an overhanging bank, not daring to make a sound, till you could +get a shot at the ducks disporting themselves in the moonlight, on the +frozen mud on the banks! Such an occupation could only be endurable +under the name of sport. +</P> + +<P> +However, Fulk and Bertram had had their time, and now Alured was having +the infection in his turn; but Trevor was driven over to spend the day, +much mortified that he had a bad broken chilblain, which made his boots +unwearable, and it was the more disappointing, that it was a very hard +frost, and there was a report that some wild swans had been seen on the +river. +</P> + +<P> +But in the course of the day Jaquetta routed out a pair of India rubber +boots which, with worsted stockings beneath, did not press the +chilblains at all, and after having spent all the day in snow-balling +and building forts, Trevor declared himself far from lame, and resolved +not to lose the fun. He had not come equipped, so Alured put him into +an old grey coat and cap of his own, and merrily they started in the +frosty moonlight, with dashes of snow lying under the hedges, and +everything intensely light. Fulk grumbling in fun at being dragged +away from his warm fire, and pretending to be grown old, the boys +shouting to one another full of glee, all the dogs in the yard +clamouring because only the wise old retriever, Captain, was allowed to +be of the party; Arthur Cradock making ridiculous mistakes on purpose +between the uncle and nephew, Trevorsham and Sham Trevor, as he called +them. +</P> + +<P> +Alas! Nay, shall I say alas, or only be thankful? +</P> + +<P> +They had been gone some time when we heard a rapid tread coming towards +the porch. Something in the very sound thrilled Jaquetta and me at +once with dismay. We darted out, and saw Brand, the head gamekeeper in +the park. +</P> + +<P> +"Never fear, my lady; thank God," he said, "my lord is quite safe. It +is poor Master Lea who is hurt; and Mr. Torwood sent me up for some +brandy, and a mattress, and a lantern, and some cloths." +</P> + +<P> +That assured us that he was alive, and we ran to fulfil the request in +the utmost haste, without asking further questions, and sending off +Sisson to ride for the poor mother, and to go on to Shinglebay for the +doctor, though, to our comfort, we knew that Arthur had almost finished +his surgical education, and was sure to know what was to be done. +</P> + +<P> +"A stray shot," we said again and again to each other; and we called +Nurse Rowe, and made up a bed in Alured's old nursery, and lighted a +fire, and were all ready, with hearts beating heavy with suspense +before the steps came back—my poor Alured first, as we held the door +open. How pale his face looked! and his brows were drawn with horror, +and his steps dragging, saying not a word, but trembling, as he came +and held by me, with one hand on my waist, while Fulk and Sisson +carried in the mattress, Arthur Cradock at the side, and Perrault, who +had joined them, walking behind with the flask. +</P> + +<P> +Dear Trevor lay white with sobbing breath and closed eyes, the cloths +and mattress soaked through and through with blood. They put him down +on the keeping-room table, and Arthur poured more brandy into his mouth. +</P> + +<P> +I said something of the room being ready but Arthur said very low "He +is dying—internal bleeding;" and when Jaquetta asked "Can nothing be +done?" he answered, "Nothing but to leave him still." +</P> + +<P> +"Trevorsham," murmured the feeble voice, and Alured was close to him; +"Ally! you are all right!" and then again, as Alured assured him he +would be better— "No, I shan't; I'm so glad it wasn't you. I always +thought he'd do it some day, and now you're quite safe, I want to thank +God." +</P> + +<P> +We did not understand those words then; we did soon. +</P> + +<P> +The weak voice rambled on, "to thank God; but oh, it hurts so—I +can't—I will when I get there." Then presently "Mother!" +</P> + +<P> +"She'll come very soon," said Alured. +</P> + +<P> +"Mother! oh, mother! Trevorsham, don't let them know. O Trev, promise, +promise!" +</P> + +<P> +"Promise what? I promise, whatever it is! Only tell me," entreated +Alured. +</P> + +<P> +"Take care of her—of mother. Don't let—" and then his eyes met +Perrault's, and a shudder came all over him, which brought the end +nearer; and all another spoonful of brandy could do was to enable him +to say something in Alured's ear, and then a broken word or +two—"forgive—glad—pray;" and when we all knelt and Fulk did say the +Lord's Prayer, and a verse or two more, there was a peaceful loving +look at Fulk and Jaquetta and me, and then the whisper of the Name that +is above every name, as a glad brightness came over the face, and the +eyes looked upwards, and so grew set in their gaze, and there was the +sound one never can forget. +</P> + +<P> +Nurse Rowe laid her hand on Alured's neck, as he knelt with his head +close to Trevor's. Fulk and I looked at each other, and we knew that +all was over. +</P> + +<P> +They had tried in vain to check the bleeding. No one could have done +more than Arthur had done, but a main artery had been injured, and +nothing could have saved him. He had said nothing after the first cry, +except when he saw Alured's grief. "Never mind; I'm glad it was not +you." And once or twice, as they carried him home, he had begged to be +put down, though they durst not attend to the entreaty, and Arthur did +not think he had suffered much pain. +</P> + +<P> +It jarred that just as we would have knelt for one silent prayer, +Perrault's voice broke on us. "Ah! poor boy, it is better than if it +lasted longer! I saw that half-witted fellow, Billy Blake about. So I +don't wonder at anything; but of course it was a mere accident, and I +shall not press it." +</P> + +<P> +Scarcely hearing him, I had joined Mrs. Rowe in the endeavour to detach +Alured from his dear companion, when there was poor Hester among us, +with open horror-stricken eyes, and a wild, frightful shriek as she +leapt forward; and no words can describe the misery of her voice as she +called on her boy to look at her, and speak to her—gathering him into +her bosom with a passionate, desperate clasp, that seemed almost an +outrage on the calm awful stillness of the innocent child; and Alured +involuntarily cried, "Oh, don't," while Fulk spoke to her kindly; but +just then she saw her husband, and sprang on her feet, her eyes +flashing, her hands stretched out, while she screamed out, "You here? +You dare to come here? You, who killed him!" Fulk caught her arm, +saying, "Hush! Hester; come away. It was a lamentable accident, but—" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh!" the laugh she gave was the most horrible thing I ever heard. +"Accident! I tell you it has been his one thought to make accidents for +Trevorsham! And he hated my child—my dear, noble, beautiful, only +one! He made him miserable, and murdered him at last!" +</P> + +<P> +She gave another passionate kiss to the cheeks, and then just as I +hoped she was going to let us lead her away, she darted from us, rushed +past Mr. Cradock who was entering the porch, and in another moment, he +hurrying after her, saw her rush down the steep grassy slope, and fling +herself into the swollen rapid stream. +</P> + +<P> +His shout brought them all out, and Fulk found him too in the river, +holding her, and struggling with the stream, which winter had made full +and violent, and the black darkness of the shadows made it hard to find +any landing place, and he was nearly swept away before it was possible +to get them out of the river; and Fulk was as completely drenched as he +was when they brought poor Hester, quite unconscious, up to the house, +and brought her to the room that had been prepared for her son; and +there Dr. Brown and Arthur gave us plenty to do in filling hot-water +baths and warming flannels, or rubbing the icy hands and feet. Only +that constant need of exertion could have borne us through the horror +of it all. But it was not over yet. There was a call of "Ursula," and +as I ran down, I found Fulk standing at the bottom of the stairs with +Alured in his arms looking like death! +</P> + +<P> +"I found him on the parlour sofa, the little window and the escritoire +open!" Fulk said breathlessly, "the villain!" +</P> + +<P> +"I'm not hurt," said dear Alured's voice, faintly, but reassuringly, +"Oh! put me down, Fulk." +</P> + +<P> +We did put him down on the floor—there was no other place—with his +head on my lap, and I found strange voices asking him what Perrault had +done to him. "Oh! nothing! 'twasn't that. Yes, he's gone, out by the +window." +</P> + +<P> +He swallowed some wine and then sat up, leaning against me as I sat at +the bottom of the stairs, quite himself again, and assuring us that he +was not hurt; Perrault never touched him—"Threatened you, then," said +Fulk. +</P> + +<P> +"No," said Alured, as if he hadn't spirit to be indignant; "I meant him +to get off." +</P> + +<P> +"Lord Trevorsham!" cried a voice in great displeasure, and I saw that +Mr. Halsted, the nearest magistrate, was standing over us. +</P> + +<P> +"He told me—Trevor did"—said Alured. +</P> + +<P> +"Told you to assist the murderer to escape!" exclaimed Mr. Halsted. +</P> + +<P> +Alured let his head fall back, and would not answer, and Fulk said, +"There is no need for him to speak at present, is there? The constable +and the rest are gone after Perrault, but I do not yet know what has +directed the suspicion against him." +</P> + +<P> +And then at the stair foot, for there was no other place to go to, we +came to an understanding, the two gentlemen and Brand the keeper +standing, and I seated on the step with my boy lying against me. I +could not trust him out of my sight, nor, indeed, was he fit to be left. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that Brand had been uneasy about the number of shooters whom +the report of the swans had attracted; and though the bank of the river +was not Trevorsham ground, he had kept along on the border of the +covers higher up the hill, to guard his hares and pheasants. +</P> + +<P> +Thus he had seen everything distinctly in the moonlight against the +snowy bank below; and he had observed one figure in particular, moving +stealthily along, in a parallel line with that which he knew our party +would take, though they were in shadow, and he could not see them. +</P> + +<P> +Suddenly, a chance shot fired somewhere made all the ducks fly up. A +head and shoulders that Brand took for his young lord's, appeared +beyond the shadow, beside Fulk's; and, at the same moment, he saw the +man whom he had been watching level his gun from behind, and fire. Then +came the cry, and Brand running down in horror himself, was amazed to +see this person doing the same, and when they came up with the group, +he recognised Perrault; and found, at the same time, that Trevor was +the sufferer, and that Lord Trevorsham was safe. He then would have +thought it an accident, but for Perrault's own needless wonder, whence +the shot came, and that same remark, that Billy Blake, the half-witted +son of a farmer, was about that night. +</P> + +<P> +Brand, a shrewd fellow, restrained his reply, that Mr. Perrault knew +most about it himself. He saw that the most pressing need was to obey +Fulk in fetching necessaries from our house, and that Perrault meant to +disarm suspicion by treating it as an accident, so he thought it best +to go off to a magistrate with his story, before giving any alarm; +feeling certain, as he said, that the shot had been meant for the Earl; +as indeed, Perrault's first exclamation on coming up showed that he too +had expected to find Trevorsham the wounded one. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Halsted had sent for the constable and came at once, though even +then inclined to doubt whether Brand had not imputed accident to +malice. But Perrault's flight had settled that question. During the +confusion, while Hester was being carried upstairs, the miscreant had +the opportunity of speaking to the child. +</P> + +<P> +"Drowned! No, she is not drowned; but she may be the other thing if +you don't get me off! What, don't you understand? Let the law lay a +finger on me, and what is to hinder me from telling how your sweet +sister has been plotting to get you—yes, you, out of the way of her +darling. No, you needn't fear, there's nothing to get by it now. Lucky +for you you brought the poor boy out, when I thought him safe by the +fire nursing his chilblain. But mind this, if I am arrested, all the +story shall come out. I'll not swing alone. If I fired, she pointed +the gun! And you may judge if that was what poor Trevor meant by his +mutterings to you about 'mother.'" +</P> + +<P> +"But what do you want?" Alured asked. He had backed up against the +wall; he was past being frightened, but he felt numb and sick with +horror, and ready to do anything to get the wretch out of his sight. +</P> + +<P> +"I want a clear way out of the house and all the cash you can get +together. What! no more than that? I'd not be a lord to be kept so +short. Find me some more." +</P> + +<P> +Alured knew I should forgive him, and he took my key from my basket, +unlocked the escritoire, and gave him my purse of household money, +undid the shutters, and helped Perrault to squeeze himself through the +little parlour window; and then, as he said, something came over him, +and he just reached the sofa, and knew no more. +</P> + +<P> +He did not tell all this about Hester before Mr. Halsted; only when +Fulk, finding how shaken he was, had carried him upstairs, and we had +taken him to his room, he asked anxiously whether anyone had heard +Hester say that dreadful thing, and added, "Then if Mr. Perrault gets +away no one will know—about her." +</P> + +<P> +"Was that why you helped him?" we asked. +</P> + +<P> +"Trevor told me to take care of her," he said; and then he told us of +Perrault's arguments, but we ought not to have let him talk of them +that night, for it brought back the shuddering and sobbing, and the +horror seemed to come upon him, so that there was no soothing him or +getting him calm till the doctor mixed an anodyne draught; and let it +go as it would with Hester, I never left my boy till I had crooned him +to sleep, as in the old times. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap09"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER IX. +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +TREVOR'S LEGACY. +</H3> + +<P> +Jaquetta bore the brunt of that night, and showed the stuff she was +made of, for poor Hester had only revived to fall into a most frightful +state of delirium, raving and struggling so that the doctor and Arthur +could hardly hold her. +</P> + +<P> +So it went on for hours, Alured the only creature asleep in the house, +and we not daring to send for any help from without, poor Hester's +exclamations were so dreadful. +</P> + +<P> +Poor Alured! his waking was sad enough! He had loved Trevor with all +his heart, and the wonder that anyone could be so wicked oppressed him +almost as much as the grief. The remnants of the opiate hung upon him, +too, and he lay about all day, hardly rousing himself to speak or look, +but giddily and drowsy. +</P> + +<P> +Not till the inquest was it perceived how cleverly Perrault had taken +his measures, so that had he not made the mistake between the two boys, +he would scarcely have been suspected: certainly not but for Brand's +having watched him. +</P> + +<P> +The report of the wild swans was traced to him. No doubt it was as an +excuse for a heavier charge, for poor Trevor was wounded with shot that +would not have been used merely for ducks, and besides, the other +shooters it attracted would be likely to make detection less easy. +Indeed, Fulk had seen that there were enough men about to spoil their +sport, and but for the boys' eagerness, would have turned back. +</P> + +<P> +Moreover it was proved that Perrault had in the course of the morning +met Billy Blake, and asked him if he meant to bag the swan—if he +followed the young lord's party and fired when they did, he would be +sure to bring something down. He did not know that the Blakes never +let the poor fellow load his old gun with anything but powder. +</P> + +<P> +Then his joining the horrified group, as if he had been merely after +the ducks, and had been attracted by the cry, had entirely deceived us; +and but for Hester's accusation, Brand's evidence, and his own flight, +together with all the past, might have continued to do so. +</P> + +<P> +He had gone to his own house, as it afterwards turned out, entered so +quietly that the listening, watching servants never heard him, +collected all the valuables he could easily carry away, changed his +dress, and gone off before the search had followed him thither. +</P> + +<P> +A verdict of wilful murder was returned against him at the inquest, but +it is very doubtful whether he could have been convicted of anything +but manslaughter; for even if the intention could have been proved, +without his wife, whose evidence was inadmissible, the malice was not +directed against his victim, but against Trevorsham. We could not but +feel it a relief day by day, that nothing was heard of him; for who +could tell what disclosures there might be about the poor thing who +lay, delirious, needing perpetual watchfulness. Arthur devoted himself +to the care of her, and never left us, or I do not see how we could +have gone through it all. +</P> + +<P> +Alured was well again, but inert and crushed, and heartless about doing +anything, except that he walked over to Spinney Lawn, and brought home +Trevor's dog, to which he gave himself up all day, and insisted on +having it in his room at night. +</P> + +<P> +The burial was in the vault—nobody attended but Fulk and Alured, not +even Arthur, for though the poor mother was not aware of what was going +on, it was such a dreadful day with her, that he durst not leave us +alone to the watch. It was enough to break one's heart to stand by the +window and hear her wandering on about her Trevor coming to his place, +and not being kept from his position; while we watched the little +coffin carried across the field by the labouring men, with those two +walking after it. Our boy's first funeral was that of the friend who +had died in his stead. +</P> + +<P> +We were glad to send him back to Eton, out of the sound of his poor +sister's voice; though he went off very mournfully, declaring that he +should be even more wretched there without Trevor than he was at home; +and that he never should do any good without him. But there he was +wrong, I am thankful to say. Dear Trevor was more a guide to him dead +than living. Trevor's chief Eton friend, young Maitland, a good, +high-principled, clever boy, a little older, who had valued him for +what he was, while passing Alured by as a foolish, idle little swell, +took pity upon him in the grief and dejection of his loss—did for him +all and more than Trevor could do, and has been the friend and blessing +of his life, aiding the depth and earnestness that seemed to pass into +our dear child as he hung over the dying lad. Yes, Trevor Lea and John +Maitland did for our Trevorsham what all our love and care had never +been able to do. +</P> + +<P> +Meantime Hester's illness took its course. The chill of that icy water +had done great harm, and there was much inflammation at first, leaving +such oppression of breath that permanent injury to the lungs was +expected, and therefore it was all the sadder to see the dumb despair +with which she returned to understanding, I can hardly say to memory, +for I believe she had never lost it for a moment. +</P> + +<P> +Hopeless, heedless, reckless, speechless, she was a passive weight, +lying or sitting, eating or drinking as she was bidden, but not making +any manifestation of preference or dislike, save that she turned +rigidly and sullenly away from any attempt to read prayers to her. +</P> + +<P> +She asked no questions, attempted no employment, but seemed to care for +nothing, and for weeks uttering nothing but a "yes," "no," or a +mechanical "thank you." Jaquetta tried to caress her, by force of +nursing and pity. Jaquetta really had come to a warm tender love for +her, but she sullenly pushed away the sweet face, and turned aside. +</P> + +<P> +We never ventured to leave her alone, and this, after a time, began to +vex her. She bade us go down once or twice, and tried to send away +Mrs. Rowe; and at last, when she found it was never permitted, she +broke out angrily one day, "You are very absurd to take so much trouble +to hinder what cannot make any difference." +</P> + +<P> +It made one's blood run cold, and yet it was a relief that the silence +was broken. I can't tell what I said, only I implored her not to think +so, and told her that her having been rescued was a sign that Heaven +would have her repent and come back, but she laughed that horrible +laugh. "Do you think I repent?" she said; "No, only that I left it to +that fool! I should have made no mistakes." +</P> + +<P> +I was too much horrified to do anything but hide my eyes and pray. I +thought I did not do so obviously, but Hester saw or guessed, stamped +at me, and said, "Don't; I will not have it done. It is mockery!" +</P> + +<P> +"Happily you cannot prevent our doing that, my poor Lady Hester," I +said. +</P> + +<P> +"All I wish you to do is, what you would do if you had a spark of +natural feeling." +</P> + +<P> +"What?" I asked, bewildered at this apparent accusation of unkindness. +</P> + +<P> +"Leave me to myself. Send me from your door. Not oppress me with this +ridiculous burthensome care and attention, all out of the family pride +you still keep up in the Trevors!" she sneered. +</P> + +<P> +"No, Hester. Sister Hester, will you not believe it is love?" I said, +thinking that if she would believe that we loved her and forgave her, +it might help her to believe that her Father above did. I had never +called her by her name alone before; but I thought it might draw her +nearer; but it made her only fiercer. +</P> + +<P> +"Nonsense," she said, "I know better." +</P> + +<P> +And then she fell into the same deadly gloom; but I think she had +almost a wild animal's longing for solitude; for she made a solemn +promise not to attempt her life if we would only leave her alone! +</P> + +<P> +And we did, though we took care someone was within hearing; for she was +still very weak, and we had not a bell in the house, except a little +hand one on the table. +</P> + +<P> +So the Easter holidays drew on, and she was still far too weak and +unwell for any thought of moving her; so that we were in trouble about +Alured's holidays, not liking him to come home to a house of illness +that would renew his sorrow, and advising him to accept some +invitations from his schoolfellows; but he wrote that he particularly +wished to come home—he could not bear to be away, and Maitland wanted +to see the place and know all about dear Lea, so might he bring him +home? +</P> + +<P> +We were only too glad to consent, and I had gone to sleep with +Jaquetta, so as to make room—feeling very happy over the best school +report of our boy we had ever had, though not the best we were to have. +</P> + +<P> +He spent two or three days at Mr. Maitland's in London, and then he and +his friend, John, came on here. +</P> + +<P> +The railway did not come within twenty miles then, and they had to post +from it in flies. How delightful it was to see the tall hat and wide +white collar, as he stood up in the open fly, signalling to us, and +pointing us out to his friend. Only, what must it have been to the +poor sufferer in the room above? +</P> + +<P> +Oh! did not one's heart go out in prayer for her! +</P> + +<P> +Out jumped Alured among all of us, and all the dogs at the garden gate; +and the first thing, after his kiss to us all, was to turn to the fly +and take out a flower-pot with a beautiful delicate forced rose in it. +</P> + +<P> +"Where's Hester?" he said. +</P> + +<P> +"My dear child, she has not left her room yet." +</P> + +<P> +"She is well enough for me to take this to her, I suppose?" he said. +"He always did get some flower like this to bring home to her, you +know, she liked them so much." +</P> + +<P> +It was just his one idea that Trevor had told him to take his place to +her. We looked doubtfully at each other, but Fulk quietly said, "Yes, +you may go." And added, as the boy went off, "It can do no harm to her +in the end, poor thing!" +</P> + +<P> +"To her, no; that was not my fear." +</P> + +<P> +There was Alured, almost exactly what Trevor had been when last she saw +him, with his bright sweet honest face over the rose, running up the +stairs, knocking, and coming in with his boyish, "Good morning, Hester, +I do hope you are better;" and bending down with his fresh brotherly +kiss on her poor hot forehead, "I've got this rose for you, the bud +will be out in a day or two." +</P> + +<P> +If ever there was a modern version of St. Dorothy's roses it was there. +</P> + +<P> +That boy's kiss and his gift touched the place in her heart. She +caught him passionately in her arms, and held him till he almost lost +breath, and then she held him off from her as vehemently. +</P> + +<P> +"Boy—Trevorsham—what do you come to me for?" +</P> + +<P> +"He told me," said Alured, half dismayed. "Besides, you are my sister." +</P> + +<P> +"Sister, indeed! Don't you know we would have killed you?" +</P> + +<P> +"Never mind that," said Alured, with an odd sort of readiness. "You +are my sister all the same, and oh—if you would let me try to be a +little bit of Trevor to you, though I know I can't—" +</P> + +<P> +"You—who must hate me?" +</P> + +<P> +"No," said he, "I always did like you, Hester; and I've been thinking +about you all the half—whenever I thought of him." +</P> + +<P> +And as the tears came into the boy's eyes, the blessed weeping came at +last to Hester. +</P> + +<P> +He thought he had done her harm, for she cried till she was absolutely +spent, sick, faint and weak as a child. +</P> + +<P> +But she was like a child, and when her head was on the pillow she +begged for Trevorsham to wish her good-night. I think she tried to +fancy his kiss was Trevor's. +</P> + +<P> +Any way the bitter black despair was gone from that time. She believed +in and accepted his kindness like a sort of after glow from Trevor's +love. Perhaps it did her the more good that after all he was only a +boy, sometimes forgot her, and sometimes hurried after his own +concerns, so that there was more excitement in it than if it had been +the steady certain tenderness of an older person on which she could +reckon. +</P> + +<P> +She certainly cared for no one like Trevorsham. She even came +downstairs that she might see him more constantly, and while he was at +home, she seemed to think of no one else. But she had softened to us +all, and accepted us as her belongings, in a matter-of-course kind of +way. Only when he was gone did she one day say in a heavy dreary tone, +that she must soon be leaving us. +</P> + +<P> +But I told her, as we had agreed, that she was very far from well +enough to go away alone; for indeed, it was true that disease of the +lungs had set in, and to send her away to languish and die alone was +not to be thought of. +</P> + +<P> +My answer made her look up to me, and say, "I don't see why you should +all be so good to me! Do you know how I have hated you?" +</P> + +<P> +I could not help smiling a little at that, it had so little to do with +the matter; but I bent down and kissed her, the first time I had ever +done so. +</P> + +<P> +"I don't understand it," she said, and then pushing me away suddenly. +"No! you cannot know, that I—I—I was the first to devise mischief +against that boy. Perrault would never have thought of it, but for me! +Now, you see whom you are harbouring! Perhaps, you thought it all +Perrault's doing." +</P> + +<P> +"No, we did not," I said. +</P> + +<P> +"And you still cherish me! I—who drove you from your home and rank, +and came from wishing the death of your darling, to contriving it!" +</P> + +<P> +I told her we knew it. And at last, after a long, long silence, she +looked up from her joined hands, and said, "If I may only see my child +again, even from the other side of the great gulf, I would be ready for +any torment! It would be no torment to me, so I saw him! Do you think +I shall be allowed, Ursula?" +</P> + +<P> +How I longed for more power, more words to tell her how infinitely more +mercy there was than she thought of! I don't think she took it in +then, but the beginning was made, and she turned away no more from what +she looked on at first as a means of bringing her to her boy, but +by-and-by became even more to her. +</P> + +<P> +Gradually she told how the whole history had come about. She had +thought nothing of the discovery of her birth till her boy was born, +but from that time the one thought of seeing him in the rank she +thought his due had eaten into her heart. She had loved her husband +before, but his resistance had chafed her, and gradually she felt it an +injustice and cruelty, and her love and respect withered away, till she +regarded him as an obstacle. And when she had spent her labour on the +voyage, and obtained recognition from her father—behold! Alured's +existence deprived her of the prize almost within her grasp. +</P> + +<P> +A settled desire for the poor baby's death was the consequence, kept up +by the continued reports of his danger. Till that time she had prayed. +Then a sense that Heaven was unjust to her and her boy filled her with +grim rebellion, and she prayed no more; and Perrault, by his constant +return to the subject and speculations on it, kept her mind on it far +more. +</P> + +<P> +But Alured lived, and every time she saw him she half hated him, half +loved him; hated him as standing in her son's light, loved him because +she could not help loving Trevor's shadow. +</P> + +<P> +That day, when Emily met them—it had been a sudden impulse—Alured had +been talking to her about his plans for Trevor's birthday; and, as he +spoke of that street, the wild thought came over her how easily a fever +might yet sweep him away. And yet she says, all down the street, she +was trying to persuade herself to forget Emily's warning, and to +disbelieve in the infection. After all, she thought, even if she had +not met Emily, she should have made some excuse for turning back, such +a pitiful thought came of the fair, fresh face flushing and dying. +</P> + +<P> +But it was prevented, only it left fruits; for Perrault had heard what +passed between her and Trevorsham. "Did you take him to the shop?" he +asked. And when she mentioned Miss Deerhurst's reminder, he said, "Ah! +that game wants skill and coolness to carry it out." +</P> + +<P> +She says that was almost all that passed in so many words; but from +that time she never doubted that Perrault would take any opportunity of +occasioning danger to Trevorsham; and, strange to say, she lived in a +continued agony, half of hope, half of terror and grief and pity, her +longing for Trevor's promotion, balanced by the thought of the grief he +would suffer for his friend. Any time those five years she told me she +thought that had she seen Perrault hurting him, she should have rushed +between to save him; and yet in other moods, when she planned for her +son, she would herself have done anything to sweep Alured from his path. +</P> + +<P> +And the frequent discussion with Perrault of plans depending on the +possession of the Trevorsham property, kept the consciousness of his +purpose before her, and as debt and desperation grew, she was more and +more sure of it. +</P> + +<P> +That last day, when Trevor had been driven away, lamenting his +inability to go out duck shooting, Perrault had quietly said in the +late evening, "I shall take a turn in the salt marshes +to-night—opportunities may offer." +</P> + +<P> +The wretch! Fulk thinks he said so to implicate her. +</P> + +<P> +At any rate it left her shuddering with dread and remorse, yet half +triumphant at the notion of putting an end to Fulk's power over the +estate, and of installing her son as heir of Trevorsham. +</P> + +<P> +She had no fears for him, she trusted to his lame foot to detain him, +and said to herself that if it was to be, he would be spared the sight. +She was growing jealous of his love for Alured and of us, and had a +fierce glad hope of getting him more to herself. +</P> + +<P> +And then! oh! poor Hester! +</P> + +<P> +No wonder her desire was to be +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + Anywhere, anywhere,<BR> + Out of the world.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +But out of all the anguish, the remorse, the despair, repentance grew +at last. Love seemed to open the heart to it. The sense of infinite +redeeming love penetrated at last, and trust in pardon, and with pardon +came peace. Peace grew on her, through increasing self-condemnation, +and bearing her up as the bodily powers failed more and more. +</P> + +<P> +There is little more to say. She was a dear and precious charge to us, +and as she grew weaker, she also became more cheerful! and even that +terrible, broken-hearted sense of bereavement calmed. +</P> + +<P> +She found out about Jaquetta and Arthur, and took great interest in his +arrangements for getting a partnership at Shinglebay. +</P> + +<P> +"And Hester," said Jaquetta, "it is so lucky for me that I came down +from being a fine lady. I might never have known Arthur; and if I had, +what an absurd creature I should have been as a poor man's wife!" +</P> + +<P> +As to the Deerhursts, the mother sent a servant once or twice to +inquire, but never came herself to see her dear friend; and Miss Prior +took care to tell us that there were horrid whispers about, that Hester +had known, and if not, Mrs. Deerhurst could not have on her visiting +list the wife of a man with a warrant out against him! She thought it +very unfeeling in us to harbour her. +</P> + +<P> +But Emily came. Hester had a great longing to thank her for checking +her on that walk to the scarlet-fever place, and asked Jaquetta one day +to write to her and beg her to come to see a dying woman. +</P> + +<P> +Emily showed the note to her mother, and did not ask leave. The white +doe had become a much more valiant animal. +</P> + +<P> +Hester had liked Emily even while Emily shrank from her, and she now +realized what she had inflicted upon her and Fulk. +</P> + +<P> +She asked Emily's pardon for it, as she had asked Fulk's, and said that +when she was gone she hoped all would come right. Of course the old +position could not be restored, but she knew now why Joel Lea had such +an instinct against it. +</P> + +<P> +"I feel," she once said, "as if Satan had offered me all this for my +soul, and I had taken the bargain. Aye, and if God's providence had +allowed our wicked purpose, he would have had it too. My husband! he +prayed for me! and my boy did too." +</P> + +<P> +She always called Joel Lea "my husband" now, and thought and talked +much of their early love and his warnings. I think the way she had +saddened his later years grieved her as much as anything, and all her +affection seemed revived. +</P> + +<P> +She lingered on, never leaving the house indeed, but not much worse, +till the year had come round again, and we loved her more each day we +nursed her. And when the end came suddenly at last, we mourned as for +a dear sister. +</P> + +<P> +Perrault wrote once—a threatening, swaggering letter from America, +demanding hush-money. It did not come till she was too ill to open +it—only in the last week before her death, and it was left till we +settled her affairs. +</P> + +<P> +Then Fulk wrote and told him of the verdict against him, and +recommended him to let himself be heard of no more. And he took the +advice. +</P> + +<P> +We found that dear Hester had left all the fortune, 30,000 pounds, +which had been settled on herself and Trevor, to be divided equally +between us three. Nor had we any scruple in profiting by it. +</P> + +<P> +Trevorsham had enough, and it was what my father would have given us if +he could. +</P> + +<P> +It was enough to make Jaquetta and her young Dr. Cradock settle down +happily and prosperously on the practice they bought. +</P> + +<P> +And enough too, together with Emily's strong quiet determination, to +make Mrs. Deerhurst withdraw her opposition. Daughters of twenty-nine +years old may get their own way. +</P> + +<P> +Moreover a drawing-room and dining-room were built on to Skimping's +Lawn, though Alured declares they have spoilt the place, and nothing +ever was so jolly as the keeping-room. +</P> + +<P> +We had a beautiful double wedding in the summer, in our old church, and +since that I have come to make the old Hall homelike to my boy in the +holidays. +</P> + +<P> +We are very happy together when he comes home, and fills the house with +his young friends; and if it feels too large and empty for me in his +absence, I can always walk down for a happy afternoon with Emily, or go +and make a longer visit to Jaquetta. +</P> + +<P> +And I don't think, as a leader of the fashion, she would have been half +so happy as the motherly, active, ready-handed doctor's wife. +</P> + +<P> +But best of all to me, are those quiet moments when Alured's earnest +spirit shows itself, and he talks out what is in his heart; that it is +a great responsibility to stand in the place such a man as Fulk would +have had—yes—and to have been saved at the cost of Trevor's life. +</P> + +<P> +I believe the pure, calm remembrance of Trevor Lea's life will be his +guiding star, and that he will be worthy of it. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR><BR> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Lady Hester, or Ursula's Narrative, by +Charlotte M. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Lady Hester, or Ursula's Narrative + +Author: Charlotte M. Yonge + +Posting Date: July 19, 2009 [EBook #4659] +Release Date: November, 2003 +First Posted: February 23, 2002 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LADY HESTER, OR URSULA'S NARRATIVE *** + + + + +Produced by Sandra Laythorpe. HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + + + + + + +LADY HESTER; + +OR, + +URSULA'S NARRATIVE. + + +by + +CHARLOTTE M. YONGE + + + + + +CONTENTS. + +CHAPTER I. SAULT ST. PIERRE + +CHAPTER II. TREVORSHAM + +CHAPTER III. THE PEERAGE CASE + +CHAPTER IV. SKIMPING'S FARM + +CHAPTER V. SPINNEY LAWN + +CHAPTER VI. THE WHITE DOE'S WARNING + +CHAPTER VII. HUNTING + +CHAPTER VIII. DUCK SHOOTING + +CHAPTER IX. TREVOR'S LEGACY + + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +SAULT ST. PIERRE. + + +I write this by desire of my brothers and sisters, that if any reports +of our strange family history should come down to after generations the +thing may be properly understood. + +The old times at Trevorsham seem to me so remote, that I can hardly +believe that we are the same who were so happy then. Nay, Jaquetta +laughs, and declares that it is not possible to be happier than we have +been since, and Fulk would have me remember that all was not always +smooth even in those days. + +Perhaps not--for him, at least, dear fellow, in those latter times; but +when I think of the old home, the worst troubles that rise before me +are those of the back-board and the stocks, French in the school-room, +and Miss Simmonds' "Lady Ursula, think of your position!" + +And as to Jaquetta, she was born under a more benignant star. Nobody +could have put a back-board on her any more than on a kitten. + +Our mother had died (oh! how happily for herself!) when Jaquetta was a +baby, and Miss Simmonds most carefully ruled not only over us, but over +Adela Brainerd, my father's ward, who was brought up with us because +she had no other relation in the world. + +Besides, my father wished her to marry one of my brothers. It would +have done very well for either Torwood or Bertram, but unluckily, as it +seemed, neither of them could take to the notion. She was a dear +little thing, to be sure, and we were all very fond of her; but, as +Bertram said, it would have been like marrying Jaquetta, and Torwood +had other views, to which my father would not then listen. + +Then Bertram's regiment was ordered to Canada, and that was the real +cause of it all, though we did not know it till long after. + +Bertram was starting out on a sporting expedition with a Canadian +gentleman, when about ten miles from Montreal they halted at a farm +with a good well-built house, named Sault St. Pierre, all looking +prosperous and comfortable, and a young farmer, American in his +ways--free-spoken, familiar, and blunt--but very kindly and friendly, +was at work there with some French-Canadian labourers. + +Bertram's friend knew him and often halted there on hunting +expeditions, so they went into the house--very nicely furnished, a +pretty parlour with muslin curtains, a piano, and everything pleasant; +and Joel Lea called his wife, a handsome, fair young woman. Bertram +says from the first she put him in mind of some one, and he was trying +to make out who it could be. Then came the wife's mother, a neat +little delicate, bent woman, with dark eyes, that looked, Bertram said, +as if they had had some great fright and never recovered it. They +called her Mrs. Dayman. + +She was silent at first, and only helped her daughter and the maid to +get the dinner, and an excellent dinner it was; but she kept on looking +at Bertram, and she quite started when she heard him called Mr. Trevor. +When they were just rising up, and going to take leave, she came up to +him in a frightened agitated manner, as if she could not help it, and +said-- + +"Sir, you are so like a gentleman I once knew. Was any relation of +yours ever in Canada?" + +"My father was in Canada," answered Bertram. + +"Oh no," she said then, very much affected, "the Captain Trevor I knew +was killed in the Lake Campaign in 1814. It must be a mistake, yet you +put me in mind of him so strangely." + +Then Bertram protested that she must mean my father, for that he had +been a captain in the --th, and had been stationed at York (as Toronto +was then called), but was badly wounded in repulsing the American +attack on the Lakes in 1814. + +"Not dead?" she asked, with her cheeks getting pale, and a sort of +excitement about her, that made Bertram wonder, at the moment, if there +could have been any old attachment between them, and he explained how +my father was shipped off from England between life and death; and how, +when he recovered, he found his uncle dying, and the title and property +coming to him. + +"And he married!" she said, with a bewildered look; and Bertram told +her that he had married Lady Mary Lupton--as his uncle and father had +wished--and how we four were their children. I can fancy how kindly +and tenderly Bertram would speak when he saw that she was anxious and +pained; and she took hold of his hand and held him, and when he said +something of mentioning that he had seen her, she cried out with a sort +of terror, "Oh no, no, Mr. Trevor, I beg you will not. Let him think +me dead, as I thought him." And then she drew down Bertram's tall head +to her, and fairly kissed his forehead, adding, "I could not help it, +sir; an old woman's kiss will do you no harm!" + +Then he went away. He never did tell us of the meeting till long +after. He was not a great letter writer, and, besides, he thought my +father might not wish to have the flirtations of his youth brought up +against him. So we little knew! + +But it seems that the daughter and son-in-law were just as much amazed +as Bertram, and when he was gone, and the poor old lady sank into her +chair and burst out crying, and as they came and asked who or what this +was, she sobbed out, "Your brother Hester! Oh! so like him--my +husband!" or something to that effect, as unawares. She wanted to take +it back again, but of course Hester would not let her, and made her +tell the whole. + +It seems that her name was Faith Le Blanc; she was half English, half +French-Canadian, and lived in a village in a very unsettled part, where +Captain Trevor used to come to hunt, and where he made love to her, and +ended by marrying her--with the knowledge of her family and his brother +officers, but not of his family--just before he was ordered to the Lake +frontier. The war had stirred up the Indians to acts of violence they +had not committed for many years, and a tribe of them came down on the +village, plundering, burning, killing, and torturing those whom they +had known in friendly intercourse. + +Faith Le Blanc had once given some milk to a papoose upon its mother's +back, and perhaps for this reason she was spared, but everyone +belonging to her was, she believed, destroyed, and she was carried away +by the tribe, who wanted to make her one of themselves; and she knew +that if she offended them, such horrors as she had seen practised on +others would come on her. + +However, they had gone to another resort of theirs, where there was a +young hunter who often visited them, and was on friendly terms. When +he found that there was a white woman living as a captive among them, +he spared no effort to rescue her. Both he and she were often in +exceeding danger; but he contrived her escape at last, and brought her +through the woods to a place of safety, and there her child was born. + +It was over the American frontier, and it was long before she could +write to her husband. She never knew what became of her letter, but +the hunter friend, Piers Dayman, showed her an American paper which +mentioned Captain Trevor among the officers killed in their attack. +Dayman was devoted to her, and insisted on marrying her, and bringing +up her daughter as his own. I fancy she was a woman of gentle passive +temper, and had been crushed and terrified by all she had gone through, +so as to have little instinct left but that of clinging to the +protector who had taken her up when she had lost everything else; and +she married him. Nor did Hester guess till that very day that Piers +Dayman was not her father! + +There were other children, sons who have given themselves to hunting +and trapping in the Hudson's Bay Company's territory; but Hester +remained the only daughter, and they educated her well, sending her to +a convent at Montreal, where she learnt a good many accomplishments. +They were not Roman Catholics; but it was the only way of getting an +education. + +Dayman must have been a warm-hearted, tenderly affectionate person. +Hester loved him very much. But he had lived a wild sportsman's life, +and never was happy at rest. They changed home often; and at last he +was snowed up and frozen to death, with one of his boys, on a bear +hunting expedition. + +Not very long after, Hester married this sturdy American, Joel Lea, who +had bought some land on the Canadian side of the border, and her mother +came home to live with them. They had been married four or five years, +but none of their children had lived. + +So it was when the discovery came upon poor old Mrs. Dayman (I do not +know what else to call her), that Fulk Torwood Trevor, the husband of +her youth, was not dead, but was Earl of Trevorsham; married, and the +father of four children in England. + +Poor old thing! She would have buried her secret to the last, as much +in pity and love to him as in shame and grief for herself; and +consideration, too, for the sons, for whom the discovery was only less +bad than for us, as they had less to lose. Hester herself hardly fully +understood what it all involved, and it only gradually grew on her. + +That winter her mother fell ill, and Mr. Lea felt it right that the +small property she had had for her life should be properly secured to +her sons, according to the division their father had intended. So a +lawyer was brought from Montreal and her will was made. Thus another +person knew about it, and he was much struck, and explained to Hester +that she was really a lady of rank, and probably the only child of her +father who had any legal claim to his estates. Lea, with a good deal +of the old American Republican temper, would not be stirred up. He +despised lords and ladies, and would none of it; but the lawyer held +that it would be doing wrong not to preserve the record. Hester had +grown excited, and seconded him; and one day, when Lea was out, the +lawyer brought a magistrate to take Mrs. Dayman's affidavit as to all +her past history--marriage witnesses and all. She was a good deal +overcome and agitated, and quite implored Hester never to use the +knowledge against her father; but she must have been always a passive, +docile being, and they made her tell all that was wanted, and sign her +deposition, as she had signed her will, as Faith Trevor, commonly known +as Faith Dayman. + +She did not live many days after. It was on the 3rd of February, 1836, +that she died; and in the course of the summer Hester had a son, who +throve as none of her babies had done. + +Then she lay and brooded over him and the rights she fancied he was +deprived of, till she worked herself up to a strong and fixed purpose, +and insisted upon making all known to her father. Now that her mother +was gone she persuaded herself that he had been a cruel, faithless +tyrant, who had wilfully deserted his young wife. + +Joel Lea would not listen to her. Why should she wish to make his son +a good-for-nothing English lord? That was his view. Nothing but +misery, distress, and temptation could come of not letting things +alone. He held to that, and there were no means forthcoming either of +coming to England to present herself. The family were well to do, but +had no ready money to lay out on a passage across the Atlantic. Nor +would Hester wait. She had persuaded herself that a letter would be +suppressed, even if she had known how to address it; but to claim her +son's rights, and make an earl of him, had become her fixed idea, and +she began laying aside every farthing in her power. + +In this she was encouraged, not by the lawyer who had made the +will--and who, considering that poor Faith's witnesses had been +destroyed, and her certificate and her wedding ring taken from her by +the Indians, thought that the marriage could not be substantiated--but +by a clever young clerk, who had managed to find out the state of +things; a man named Perrault, who used to come to the farm, always when +Lea was out, and talk her into a further state of excitement about her +child's expectations, and the injuries she was suffering. It was her +one idea. She says she really believes she should have gone mad if the +saving had not occupied her; and a very dreary life poor Joel must have +had whilst she was scraping together the passage-money. He still +steadily and sternly disapproved the whole, and when at two years' end +she had put together enough to bring her and her boy home, and maintain +them there for a few weeks, he still refused to go with her. The last +thing he said was, "Remember, Hester, what was the price of all the +kingdoms of the world! Thou wilt have it, then! Would that I could +say, my blessing go with thee." And he took his child, and held him +long in his arms, and never spoke one word over him but, "My poor boy!" + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +TREVORSHAM + + +I suppose I had better tell what we had been doing all this time. Adela +and I had come out, and had a season or two in London, and my father +had enjoyed our pleasure in it, and paid a good deal of court to our +pretty Adela, because there was no driving Torwood into anything warmer +than easy brotherly companionship. + +In fact, Torwood had never cared for anyone but little Emily Deerhurst. +Once he had come to her rescue, when she was only nine or ten years +old, and her schoolboy cousins were teasing her, and at every +Twelfth-day party since she and he had come together as by right. +There was something irresistible in her great soft plaintive brown +eyes, though she was scarcely pretty otherwise, and we used to call her +the White Doe of Rylstone. Torwood was six or seven years older, and +no one supposed that he seriously cared for her, till she was sixteen. +Then, when my father spoke point blank to him about Adela, he was +driven into owning what he wished. + +My father thought it utter absurdity. The connection was not pleasant +to him; Mrs. Deerhurst was always looked on as a designing widow, who +managed to marry off her daughters cleverly, and he could believe no +good of Emily. + +Now Adela always had more power with papa than any of us. She had a +coaxing way, which his stately old-school courtesy never could resist. +She used when we were children to beg for holidays, and get treats for +us; and even now, many a request which we should never have dared to +utter, she could, with her droll arch way, make him think the most +sensible thing in the world. + +What odd things people can do who have lived together like brothers and +sisters! I can hardly help laughing when I think of Torwood coming +disconsolately up from the library, and replying, in answer to our +vigorous demands, that his lordship had some besotted notion past all +reason. + +Then we pressed him harder--Adela with indignation, and I with +sympathy--till we forced out of him that he had been forbidden ever to +think or speak again of Emily, and all his faith in her laughed to +scorn, as delusions induced by Mrs. Deerhurst. + +"I'm sure I hope you'll take Ormerod, Adela," I remember he ended; +"then at least you would be out of the way." + +For Sir John Ormerod's courtship was an evident fact to all the family, +as, indeed, Adela was heiress enough to be a good deal troubled with +suitors, though she had hitherto managed to make them all keep their +distance. + +Adela laughed at him for his kind wishes, but I could see she meant to +plead for him. She had her chance, for Sir John Ormerod brought +matters to a crisis at the next ball; and though she thought, as she +said, "she had settled him," he followed it up with her guardian, and +Adela was invited to a conference in the library. + +It happened that as she ran upstairs, all in a glow, she came on +Torwood at the landing. She couldn't help saying in her odd +half-laughing, half-crying voice-- + +"It will come right, Torwood; I've made terms, I'm out of your way." + +"Not Ormerod!" he exclaimed. + +"Oh! no, no!" I can hear her dash of scorn now, for I was just behind +my brother, but she went on out of breath-- + +"You may go on seeing her, provided you don't say a word--till--till +she's been out two years." + +"Adela! you queen of girls, how have you done it?" he began, but she +thrust him aside and flew up into my arms; and when I had her in her +own room it came out, I hardly know how, that she had so shown that she +cared for no one she had ever seen except my father, that they found +they _did_ love each other; and--and--in short they were going to be +married. + +Really it seemed much less wonderful then than it does in thinking of +it afterwards. My father was much handsomer than any young man I ever +saw, with a hawk nose, a clear rosy skin, pure pink and white like a +boy's, curly little rings of white hair, blue eyes clear and bright as +the sky, a tall upright soldierly figure, and a magnificent stately +bearing, courteous and grand to all, but sweetly tender to a very few, +and to her above all. It always had been so ever since he had brought +her home an orphan of six years old from her mother's death-bed at +Nice. And he was youthful, could ride or hunt all day without so much +fatigue as either of his sons, and was as fresh and eager in all his +ways as a lad. + +And she, our pretty darling! I don't think Torwood and I in the least +felt the incongruity of her becoming our step-mother, only that papa +was making her more entirely his own. + +I am glad we did not mar the sunshine. It did not last long. She came +home thoroughly unwell from their journey to Switzerland, and never got +better. By the time the spring had come round again, she was lying in +the vault at Trevorsham, and we were trying to keep poor little Alured +alive and help my poor father to bear it. + +He was stricken to the very heart, and never was the same man again. +His age seemed to come upon him all at once; and whereas at sixty-five +he had been like a man ten years younger, he suddenly became like one +ten years older; and though he never was actually ill, he failed from +month to month. + +He could not bear the sight or sound of the poor baby. Poor Adela had +scarcely lived to hear it was a boy, and all she had said about it was, +"Ursula, you'll be his mother." And, oh! I have tried. If love would +do it, I think he could not be more even to dear Adela! + +What a frail little life it was! What nights and days we had with him; +doctors saying that skill could not do it, but care might; and nurses +knowing how to be more effective than I could be; yet while I durst not +touch him I could not bear not to see him. And I do think I was the +first person he began to know. + +Meantime, there was a great difference in Torwood. He had been very +much of a big boy hitherto. No one but myself could have guessed that +he cared for much besides a lazy kind of enjoyment of all the best and +nicest things in this world. He did what he was told, but in an +uninterested sort of way, just as if politics and county business, and +work at the estate, were just as much tasks thrust on him as Virgil and +Homer had been; and put his spirit into sporting, &c. + +But when he was allowed to think hopefully of Emily, it seemed to make +a man of him, and he took up all that he had to do, as if it really +concerned him, and was not only a burden laid on him by his father. + +And, as my father became less able to exert himself, Torwood came +forward more, and was something substantial to lean upon. Dear fellow! +I am sure he did well earn the consent he gained at last, though not +with much satisfaction, from papa. + +Emily had grown into great sweetness and grace, and Mrs. Deerhurst had +gone on very well. Of course, people were unkind enough to say, it was +only because she had such prey in view as Lord Torwood; but, whatever +withheld her, it is certain that Emily only had the most suitable and +reasonable pleasures for a young lady, and was altogether as nice, and +gentle, and sensible, as could be desired. There never was a bit of +acting in her, she was only allowed to grow in what seemed natural to +her. She was just one of the nice simple girls of that day, doing her +quiet bit of solid reading, and her practice, and her neat little +smooth pencil drawing from a print, as a kind of duty to her +accomplishments every day; and filling books with neat up-and-down MS. +copies of all the poetry that pleased her. Dainty in all her ways, +timid, submissive, and as it seemed to me, colourless. + +But Fulk taught her Wordsworth, who was his great passion then, and +found her a perfect listener to all his Tory hopes, fears, and usages. + +Papa could not help liking her when she came to stay with us, after +they were engaged, at the end of two years. He allowed that, away from +her mother and all her belongings, she would do very well; and she was +so pretty and sweet in her respectful fear of him--I might almost say +awe--that his graceful, chivalrous courtesy woke up again; and he was +beginning absolutely to enjoy her, as she became a little more +confident and understood him better. + +How well I remember that last evening! I was happier than I had been +for weeks about little Alured: the convulsions had quite gone off, the +teeth that had caused them were through, and he had been laughing and +playing on my lap quite brightly--cooing to his mother's miniature in +my locket. He was such an intelligent little fellow for eighteen +months! I came down so glad, and it was so pleasant to see Emily, in +her white dress, leaning over my father while he had gone so happily +into his old delight of showing his prints and engravings; and Torwood, +standing by the fire, watching them with the look of a conqueror, and +Jaquetta--like the absurd child she loved to be--teasing them with +ridiculous questions about their housekeeping. + +They were to have Spinney Lawn bought for them, just a mile away, and +the business was in hand. Jacquey was enquiring whether there was a +parlour for The Cid, Torwood's hunter, whom she declared was as dear to +him as Emily herself. Indeed, Emily did go out every morning after +breakfast to feed him with bread. I can see her now on Torwood's arm, +with big Rollo and little Malta rolling over one another after them. + +Then came an afternoon when we had all walked to Spinney Lawn, laid out +the gardens together, and wandered about the empty rooms, planning for +them. The birds were singing in the March sunshine, and the tomtits +were calling "peter" in the trees, and Jaquetta went racing about after +the dogs, like a thing of seven years old, instead of seventeen. And +Torwood was cutting out a root of primroses, leaves and all, for Emily, +when we saw a fly go along the lane, and wondered, with a sort of idle +wonder. We supposed it must be visitors for the parsonage, and so we +strolled home, looking for violets by the way, and Jaquetta getting +shiny studs of celandine. Ah! I remember those glistening stars were +all closed before we came back. + +Well, it must come, so it is silly to linger! There stood the fly at +the hall-door, and the butler met us, saying-- + +"There's a person with his lordship, my lord. She would not wait till +you came in, though I told her he saw no one on business without you--" + +Torwood hastened on before this, expecting to see some importunate +person bothering my father with a petition. What he did see was my +father leaning back in his chair, with a white, confounded, bewildered +look, and a woman, with a child on her lap, opposite. Her back was to +the door, and Torwood's first impression was that she was a +well-dressed impostor threatening him; so he came quickly to my +father's side, and said-- + +"What is it father? I'm here." + +My poor father put out his hand feebly to him, and said-- + +"It is all true, Torwood. God forgive me; I did not know it!" + +"Know what?" he asked anxiously. "What is it that distresses you, +father? Let me speak to this person--" + +Then she broke out--not loud, not coarsely, but very +determinately--"No, sir; you would be very glad to suppress me, and my +child, and my evidence, no doubt; but the Earl of Trevorsham has +acknowledged the truth of my claim, and I will not leave this spot till +he has acknowledged my mother as his only lawful wife, and my child, +Trevor Lea, as his only lawful heir!" + +Torwood thought her insane and only said quietly, as he offered my +father his arm, "I will talk it over with you presently; Lord +Trevorsham is not equal to discuss it now." + +"I see what you mean!" she said quickly. "You would like to make me +out crazy, but Lord Trevorsham knows better. Do not you, my father?" +she said, with a strong emphasis, the more marked, because it was +concentrated, not loud. + +My poor father was shuddering all over with involuntary trembling; but +he put Torwood's hand away from him, and looked up piteously, as if his +heart was breaking (as it was); but he spoke steadily. "It is true. +It is true, Torwood. I was married to poor Faith, when I was a young +man, in Canada. They sent me proofs that all had perished when the +Indians attacked the village; but--" and then he put his hands over his +face. It must have been dreadful to see; but Hester Lea was too much +bent on her rights to feel a moment's pity; and she spoke on in a hard +tone, with her eyes fixed on my brother's face. + +"But you failed to discover that she was rescued from the Indians; gave +birth to me, your daughter, Hester; and only died two years ago." + +"You hear! My boy, my poor boy, forgive me; don't leave me to her," +was what my poor father had said--he who had been so strong. + +My brother saw what it all meant now. "Never fear that, sir," he said; +"I am your son still, any way, you know." + +"You will do justice to me," she began, in her fierce tone; but my +brother met it calmly with, "Certainly, we will do our best that +justice should be done. You have brought proof?" + +His quietness overawed her, and she pointed to the papers on the table. +They were her mother's attested narrative, and the certificate of her +burial. + +My brother read aloud, "The 3rd of February, 1836," then he turned to +my father and said, "You observe, father, the difference this may make, +if true, is that of putting little Alured into the place I have held. +My father's last marriage was on the 15th of April, 1836," he added to +her. He says she quite glared at him with mortification, as if he had +invented poor little Alured on purpose to baffle her; but my father +breathed more freely. + +"And is nothing--nothing to be done for my child, your own grandson?" +exclaimed she, "after these years." + +Torwood silenced her by one of his looks. "We only wish to do +justice," he said. "If it be as you say, you will have a right to a +great deal, and it will not be disputed; but you must be aware that a +claim made in this manner requires investigation, and you can see that +my father is not in a state for an exciting discussion." + +"_Your_ father!" she said, with a bitter tone of scorn; but he took it +firmly, though the blood seemed to come boiling to his temples. + +"Yes," he said, "my father! and if you are indeed his daughter, you +should show some pity and filial duty, by not forcing the discussion on +him while he can so little bear it." + +That staggered her a little, but she said, "I do not wish to do him any +harm, but I have my child's interests to think of. How do I know what +advantage may be taken against him?" + +Torwood saw my father lying back in the chair, trembling, and he +dreaded a fit every moment. + +"I give you my word," he said, "that no injustice shall be done you;" +and as she looked keenly at him, as if she distrusted him, he said, +"Yes, you may trust me. I was bred an English gentleman, whatever I +was born, and I promise you never to come between you and your rights, +when your identity as Lord Trevorsham's daughter is fully established. +Meantime, do you not see that your presence is killing him? Tell me +where you may be heard of?" + +"I shall stay at the Shinglebay Hotel till I am secure of the justice I +claim," she said. "Come, my boy, since your own grandfather will not +so much as look at you." + +Torwood walked her across the hall. He was a little touched by those +last words, and felt that she might have looked for a daughter's +reception, so he said in the hall-- + +"You must remember this is a very sudden shock to us all. When my +father has grown accustomed to the idea, no doubt he will wish to see +you again; but in his present state of health, he must be our first +consideration. And unprepared as my sisters are, it would be +impossible to ask you to stay in the house." + +She was always a little subdued by my brother's manner; I think its +courtesy and polish almost frightened her, high-spirited, resolute +woman as she was. + +"I understand," she said, with a stiff, cold tone. Jaquetta heard the +echo of it, and wondered. + +"But," he added, "when they understand all, and when my father is equal +to it, you shall be sent for." + +When he went back to the library he found my poor father unconscious. +It was really only fainting then, and he came round without anyone +being called, and he shrank from seeing anyone but Torwood, explaining +to him most earnestly how, though he was too ill himself to go to the +place, his brother-officer, General Poyntz, had done so for him, and +had been persuaded that the whole settlement and all the inhabitants +had been swept off. It was such a shock to him that it nearly killed +him. Poor father! it was grievous to hear him wish it had quite done +so! + +We only knew that the woman had upset my father very much, and that +Torwood could not leave him. Word was sent us to sit down to dinner +without them, and Torwood sent for some gravy soup and some wine for +him. He went on talking--sometimes about us, but more often about poor +Faith, who seemed to have come back on him in all the beauty and charm +of his first love. He seemed to be talking himself feverish, and after +a time Torwood thought that silence would be better for him; so he got +him to go to bed, and sent good old Blake, the butler, who had been his +servant in the army, to sit in the dressing-room. Blake, it turned out, +had known all about the old story, so he was a safe person. Not that +safety mattered much. "Lady Hester Lea"--she called herself so now, +as, indeed, she had every right--was making it known at Shinglebay. + +So Torwood came out. I was very anxious, of course, and had been +hovering about on the nursery stairs, where I had gone to see whether +baby was quietly asleep, and I overtook him as he was going down-stairs. + +"How is papa?" I asked. + +I shall never forget the white look of the face he raised up to mine as +he said, "Poor father! Ursula, I can only call the news terrible. Will +you try to stand up against it bravely?" + +And then he held out his arms and gathered me into them, and I believe +I said, "I can bear anything when you do that!" + +I thought it could only be something about Bertram, who had rather a +way of getting into scrapes, and I said his name; but just as Fulk was +setting me at ease on that score, Jaquetta, who was on the watch, too, +opened the door of the green drawing-room, and we were obliged to go +in. Then, hardly answering her and Emily, as they asked after papa, he +stood straight up in the middle of the rug and told us, beginning +with--"Ursula, did you know that our father had been married as a young +man in Canada?" + +No. We had never guessed it. + +"He was," my brother went on, "This is his daughter." + +"Our sister!" Jaquetta asked. "Where has she been all this time?" + +But I saw there must be more to trouble him, and then it came. "I +cannot tell. My father had every reason to believe that--she--his +first wife--had been killed in a massacre by the Red Indians; but if +what this person says is true, she only died two years ago. But it was +in all good faith that he married our mother. He had taken all means +to discover--" + +Even then we did not perceive what this involved. I felt stunned and +numbed chiefly from seeing the great shock it had been to my father and +to him; but poor little Jaquetta and Emily were altogether puzzled; and +Jaquetta said, "But is this sister of ours such a very disagreeable +person, Torwood? Why didn't you bring her in and show her to us?" + +Then he exclaimed, almost angrily at her simplicity, "Good heavens! +girls, don't you see what it all means? If this is true, I am not +Torwood. We are nothing--nobody--nameless." + +He turned to the fire, put both elbows on the mantelshelf, and hid his +face in his hands. Emily sprang up, and tried to draw down his arm; +and she did, but he only used it to put her from him, hold her off at +arm's length, and look at her--oh! with such a tender face of firm +sorrow! + +"Ah! Emily," he said; "you too! It has been all on false pretences! +That will have to be all over now." + +Then Emily's great brown eyes grew bigger with wonder and dismay. + +"False pretences!" she cried, "what false pretences? Not that you +cared for me, Torwood." + +"Not that I cared for you," he said, with a suppressed tone that made +his voice _so_ deep! "Not that _I_ cared, but that Lord Torwood +did--Torwood is the baby upstairs." + +"But it is you--you--you--Fulk!" said Emily, trying to creep and sidle +up to him, white doe fashion. I believe nobody had ever called him by +his Christian name before, and it made it sweeter to him, but still he +did not give in. + +"Ah! that's all very well," he said, and his voice was softer then, +"but what would your mother say?" + +"The same as I do," said Emily, undauntedly. "How should it change +one's feelings one bit," and she almost cried at being held back. + +He did let her nestle up to him then, but with a sad sort of smile. "My +child, my darling," he said, "I ought not to allow this! It will only +be the worse after!" + +But just then a servant's step made them start back, and a message came +and brought word that Mr. Blake would be glad if Lord Torwood would +step up. + +Yes, my poor father was wandering in his speech, and very feverish, +mixing up Adela and Faith Le Blanc strangely together sometimes, and at +others fancying he was lying ill with his wound, and sending messages +to Faith. + +We sent for the doctor, but he could not do anything really. It had +been a death-blow, though the illness lasted a full week. He knew us +generally, and liked to see us, but he always had the sense that +something dreadful had happened to us; and he would stroke my hand or +Jaquetta's, and pity us. He was haunted, too, by the sense that he +ought to do something for us which he could not do. We thought he +meant to make a will, securing us something, but he was never in a +condition in which my brother would have felt justified in getting him +to sign it. Indeed there was so little disease about him, and we +thought he would get better, if only we could keep him free from +distress and excitement; so we made his room as quiet as possible, and +discouraged his talking or thinking. + +Lady Hester came every day. My brother had sent for Mr. Eagles, our +solicitor, to meet her the first time, and look at her papers. + +He said he could not deny that it looked very bad for us. Of the +original marriage there was no doubt; indeed, my father had told +Torwood where to find the certificate of it, folded up in the secret +drawer of his desk, with his commission in the army; and the register +of Faith's burial was only too plain. The only chance there was for us +was, that her identity could not be established; but Mr. Eagles did not +think it would go off on this. The whole of her life seemed to be +traceable; besides, there was something about Hester that forbade all +suspicion of her being a conscious impostor. Whether she would be able +to prove herself my father's daughter was another more doubtful point. +That, however, made no difference, except as to her own rank and +fortune. If the first wife were proved to have been alive till 1836, +then little Alured was the only true heir to the title and estate, and, +next after him, stood Hester Lea and her son. + +People said she was like the family; I never could see it, and always +thought the likeness due to their imagination. She took one by +surprise. She was a tall, well-made woman, with a narrow waist, and a +proud, peculiarly upright bearing, though quick, almost sharp in all +her movements, and especially with her eyes. Those eyes, I confess, +always startled me. They were clear, bright blue, well opened +eyes--honest eyes one would have called them--only they appeared to be +always searching about, and darting at one when one least expected it. +The red and white of the face too always had a clear hard look, like +the eyes; the teeth projected a little, and were so very, very white, +that they always seemed to me to flash like the eyes; and if ever she +smiled, it was as much as to say, "I don't believe you." Her nose had +an amount of hook, too, that always gave me the feeling of having a +wild hawk in the room with me. Jaquetta used to call her a panther of +the wilderness, but to my mind there was none of the purring cattish +tenderness of the panther. However, that might be only because she +viewed us as her natural enemies, and was always on her guard against +us, though I do not well know why; I am sure we only wanted to know the +truth and do justice, and Fulk was so convinced that she would prove +her case, and that there was no help for it, that at the end of hearing +Mr. Eagles question her, he said, "Well, the matter must be tried in +due time, but since we are brothers and sisters, let us be friendly," +and he held out his hand to her. Mr. Eagles, who told me, said he +could have beaten him for the imprudent admission, only he did look so +generous and sweet and sad; and Lady Hester drew herself up doubtfully +and proudly, as if she could hardly bear to own such a brother, but she +did take his hand, coldly though, and saying, "Let me see my father." + +He was obliged to tell her that this was impossible. I doubt whether +she ever believed him--at least she used to gaze at him with her +determined eyes, as if she meant to abash him out of falsehood, and she +sharply questioned every one about Lord Trevorsham's state. + +The determination to be friendly made my brother offer to take her to +us. She consented, but not very readily, and I am afraid we were +needlessly cold and dry; but we were taken by surprise when my brother +brought her into the sitting-room. It was not very easy to welcome the +woman who was going to turn us all out, and under such a stigma; and +she--she could hardly be expected to look complacently at the +interlopers who had her place, and the title she had a right to. + +She put us through her hard catechism about my dear father's state, and +said at last that she should like to see Lord Torwood. + +Taken by surprise, we looked and signed towards him whom that name had +always meant. He smiled a little and said, "Little Alured! But, +remember, I am bound to concede nothing till judicial minds are +convinced. The parties concerned cannot judge. Can you venture to +have Baby down, Ursula?" + +No, I did not venture. I thought it might have been averted; but I was +only obliged to take her up to the nurseries. On the way up she asked +which way my father's room lay. I answered, "Oh! across there;" I did +not know if she might not make a dash at it. + +I think she must have heard at Shinglebay how delicate poor little +Alured was, and thence gathered hopes of the succession for her boy, +for she asked her sharp questions about his health all the way up, and +knew that he had had fits. I could not put her down as one generally +can inquisitive people. I suppose it was because she was more sensible +of the difference in our real positions than I have as yet felt. + +Baby was asleep; and I think she was touched by the actual sight of +him. She said he was very like her boy; and though I supposed that a +mere assertion at the time, it was quite true. Alured and Trevor Lea +have always been remarkably alike. However, she cross-examined Nurse +about his health even more minutely, and then took her leave; but she +came again every day, walking after the first, as long as my dear +father lived. + +And she must have talked, for there came a kind of feeling over +everyone, as well as ourselves, that something was hanging over us, of +which the issue would be known when my father's illness took some turn. + +Mr. Decies came every day to inquire, but I could not bear a strange +eye, and Hester might have been looking on. I was steeling myself +against him. Was I right?--oh! was I right? I have wondered and +grieved! For I knew well enough what he had been thinking of for +months before; only I did not want it to come to a point. How was I to +leave little Alured to Jaquetta? or disturb my father by breaking up +his home? I liked him on the whole, and had come the length of +thinking that if I ever married at all, it would be-- But that's all +nonsense; and mine could not have been what other people's love was, or +I should not have shrunk from the sight and look of him. If it had +been only poverty that was coming, it would have been a different +thing; but to be nameless impostors! + +Mrs. Deerhurst had gone out on a round of visits, when Emily came to +us, taking her younger daughter. They were not a very letter-writing +family. It is odd how some people's pen is a real outlet of +expression; while others seem to lack the nerve that might convey their +thoughts to it, even when they live in more sympathy than Emily could +well have had with her mother. + +At least, so I understand, what afterwards we wondered at, that Emily +never mentioned Hester; only saying, when, after some days she did +write, that Lord Trevorsham was ill. + +So Fulk had the one comfort of being with her when he was out of the +sick room. I used to see them from the window walking up and down the +terrace in the blue east wind haze of those March days, never that I +could see speaking. I don't think my brother would have felt it +honourable to tie one additional link between himself and her. He had +not a doubt as to how her mother would act, but to be in her dear +little affectionate presence was a better help than we could give him, +even though nothing passed between them. + +Jaquetta used to wonder at them, and then try to go on the same as +usual; and would wander about the garden and park with her dogs, and +bring us in little anecdotes, and do all the laughing over them +herself. Poor child! she felt as if she were in a bad dream, and these +were efforts to shake it off, and wake herself. + +After all, nothing was ever so bad as those ten days! But, my brother +always said he was thankful for the respite and time for thought which +they gave him. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +THE PEERAGE CASE. + + +The end came suddenly at last, when we were thinking my dear father +more tranquil. He passed away in sleep late one evening, just ten days +after Hester's arrival. She had gone back to her lodgings, and we did +not send to tell her till the morning; but by nine o'clock she was in +the house. + +We had crept down to breakfast, Jaquetta and I, feeling very dreary in +the half-light, and as if desolation had suddenly come on us; and when +we heard her fly drive up to the door, Jaquetta cried out almost +angrily, "Torwood, how could you!" and we would have run away, but he +said, "Stay, dear girls; it is better to have it over." + +As she came in he rang the bell as if for family prayers, and she had +only asked one or two questions, which he answered shortly, when all +the servants came in, some crying sadly. Fulk read a very few +prayers--as much as he had voice for, and then, as all stood up, he had +to clear his voice, but he spoke firmly enough. + +"It is right that you all should know that a grave doubt has arisen as +to my position here. Lord Trevorsham had every reason to believe his +first wife had perished by the hands of the Red Indians long before he +married my mother. What he did was done in entire ignorance--no breath +of blame must light on him. This lady alleges that she can produce +proofs that she is his daughter, and that her mother only died in +February, '36. If these proofs be considered satisfactory by a +committee of the House of Lords, then she and Alured Torwood Trevor +will be shown to be his only legitimate children. I shall place the +matter in the right hands as soon as possible--that is" (for she was +glaring at him), "as soon as the funeral is over. Until that decision +is made I request that no one will call me by the title of him who is +gone; but I shall remain here to take care of my little brother, whose +guardian my father wished me to be; and for the present, at least, I +shall make no change in the establishment." + +I think everyone held their breath: there was a great stillness over +all--a sort of hush of awe--and then some of the maids began sobbing, +and the butler tried to say something, but he quite broke down; and +just then a troubled voice cried out-- + +"Torwood, Torwood, what is this?" + +And there we saw Bertram in the midst of us, with the haggard look of a +man who had travelled all night, and a dismayed air that I can never +forget. + +He had been quartered at Belfast, and we had written to him the day +after my father's illness, to summon him home, but there were no +telegraphs nor railways; and there had been some hindrance about his +leave, so that it had taken all that length of time to bring him. Fulk +had left all to be told on his arrival. He had come by the mail-coach, +and walked up from the Trevorsham Arms, where he had been told of our +father's death; and so had let himself in noiselessly, and was standing +in the dining-room door, hearing all that Fulk said! + +Poor fellow! Jaquetta flung herself on him, hiding her face against +him, while the servants went, and before any one else could speak, +Hester stood forth, and said, to our amazement-- + +"Captain Trevor! You know me. You can and must bear me witness, and +do me justice--" + +"You! I have seen you before--but--where? I beg your pardon," he +said, bewildered. + +"You remember Sault St. Pierre farm?" she said. + +"Sault St. Pierre! What? You are Mrs. Lea! Good heavens! Where is +your mother?" + +"My mother is dead, sir. You were the first person who made known to +her that her husband, my father, was not dead, but had taken--or +pretended to take--an English woman for his wife." + +"Wait!" thundered Fulk, "whatever my father did was ignorantly and +honourably done!" + +Bertram was as pale as death, and looked from one of us to the other, +and at last, he gasped out-- + +"And that--was what she meant?" + +"There, sir," said Hester, turning to Torwood, "You see your brother +cannot deny it! You will not refuse justice to me, and my son." + +I fancy she expected that the house was to be given up to her, and that +we were only to remain there on her sufferance, perhaps till after the +funeral. + +My brother spoke, "Justice will no doubt be done; but the question does +not lie between you and me, but between me and Alured. It is, as I +said, a peerage question--and will be decided by the peers. +Incidentally, that enquiry will prove what is your position and rank, +as well as what may or may not be ours. Any further points depend upon +my father's will, and that will be in the hands of Mr. Eagles. I think +you can see that it would be impossible, as well as unfeeling, to take +any steps until after the funeral." + +Whatever Hester Lea was, she was a high-spirited being, standing there, +a solitary woman, a stranger, with all of us four, and one whole +household, as it must have seemed, against her. I was outraged and +shocked at her defiance at the time, but when, some time after, I +re-read King John, I saw that there was something of Constance in her. + +"That may be," she answered, "but when my child's interests are at +stake, I cannot haggle over conventionalities and proprieties. I am +the Earl of Trevorsham's only legitimate daughter, and I claim my right +to remain in his house, and to take charge of my infant brother." + +A sign from Fulk stopped me, as I was going to scream at this. + +"Remember," he said, "your identity has yet to be proved." + +"Your brother there must needs witness. He has done so." + +"What do you witness to, Bertram?" asked Fulk. + +"I do not know; I cannot understand," said Bertram. "I saw this person +in a farm in Lower Canada, and there was an old lady who seemed to have +known my father, and was very much amazed to find he was not killed in +1814. I did not hear her name, nor know whose mother she was, nor +anything about her, nor what this dreadful business means." + +"At any rate," said Fulk to her, "your claim to remain in the house +must depend on the legal proof of the fact. My father's first marriage +is undoubted, but absolute legal certainty that you are the child of +that marriage alone can entitle you to take rank as his daughter; and, +therefore, I am not compelled to admit your claim to remain here, +though if you will refrain from renewing this discussion till after the +funeral, I will not ask you to leave the house." + +"I do not recognize your right to ask or not to ask," she said, +undauntedly. + +"I am either Lord Trevorsham's rightful heir--and it is not yet shown +that I am not--or else I am the guardian he appointed for his son. I +know this to be so, and Mr. Eagles, who will soon be here, will show it +to you in the will if you wish it. Therefore, until the decision is +made, when, if it goes against me, the child will no doubt be made a +ward in Chancery, I am the person responsible for him and his property." + +"I have no doubt you will take advantage of me and of every quibble +against me;" and there at last she began to break down; "but if there +is justice in heaven or earth my child shall have it, though you and +all were leagued against him." + +And there she began to sob. And those brothers of mine, they actually +grew compassionate; they ran after wine; they called us to bring salts, +and help her. Emily shuddered, and put her hands behind her; but +Jaquetta actually ran up to the woman, and coaxed her and comforted +her, when I had rather have coaxed a tigress. + +But I had to go to the table and pour out tea and give it to her with +all the rest. I don't know how we got through that breakfast. But we +did, and then I made the housekeeper put her into the very best rooms. +Anything if she would only stay there out of the way. + +When I came back, I found Fulk explaining why he had spoken at once, +and he said he felt that she would have no scruples about taking the +initiative, and that everyone would be having surmises. + +Poor Bertram was even more cut up than we were. It came more suddenly, +and he felt as if it was all his doing. He had no hope, and he took +all ours away. There had been something in the old woman that +impressed him as genuine, and he had no doubt that she had known and +loved our father. Nay, no one could suspect Hester of not believing in +her own story; the only question was whether the links of evidence +could be substantiated. + +The next thing that happened--I can't tell which day it was--was Mrs. +Deerhurst's coming, professing to be dreadfully shocked and overcome by +my father's death, to take away Emily. She must be so much in our way. +I, who saw her first, answered only by begging to keep her--our great +comfort and the one thing that cheered and upheld my brother. + +Mrs. Deerhurst looked keenly at me; and I began to wonder what she +knew, but just then came Fulk into the room, with his calm, set, +determined face. I knew he would rather speak without me, so I went +away, and only knew what he could bear to tell me afterwards. + +Mrs. Deerhurst had been a great deal kinder than he expected. No doubt +she would not break the thing off while there was a shred of hope that +he was an earl; but he could not drive her to allow, in so many words, +that it must depend upon that. + +He had quite made up his mind that it was not right to enjoy Emily's +presence and the comfort it gave him, unless he was secure of Mrs. +Deerhurst's permitting the engagement under his possible circumstances. + +I believe he nattered himself she would, and let her deceive him with +thinking so, instead of, as we all did, seeing that what she wanted was +to secure the credit of being constant and disinterested in case he +retained his position. So, although she took Emily home, she left him +cheered and hopeful, admiring her, and believing that she so regarded +her daughter's happiness that, if he had enough to support her, she +would overlook the loss of rank and title. He went on half the evening +talking about what a remarkable woman Mrs. Deerhurst was; and, at any +rate, it cheered him up through those worst days. + +Our Lupton uncles came, and were frightfully shocked and incredulous; +at least, Uncle George was. Uncle Lupton himself remembered something +of my father having told him of a former affair in America. + +They would not let Jaquetta and me go to the funeral; and they were +wise, for Hester thrust herself in--but it is of no use to think about +that. Indeed, there is not much to tell about that time, and I need +not go into the investigation. It was all taken out of our hands, as +my brother had said. Perrault came over from Canada, and brought his +witnesses, but not Joel Lea. He had nothing to prove, had +conscientious scruples about appearing in an English court of justice, +and still hoped it would all come to nothing. + +We stayed on at the London house--the lawyers said we ought, and that +possession was "nine-tenths," &c. Besides, we wanted advice for Baby, +who had been worse of late. + +The end of it was that it went against us. Faith's marriage, her +identity, and Hester's, were proved beyond all doubt, and little Alured +was served Earl of Trevorsham. Poor child, how ill he was just then! +It was declared water on the brain! I could hardly think about +anything else; but they all said it seemed like a mockery, and that he +would not bear the title a week. And then Lady Hester would have been, +not Countess of Trevorsham, but Viscountess Torwood, and at any rate +she halved the personal property: all that had been meant for us. + +For we already knew that there was nothing in the will that could do us +any good. All depended on my mother's marriage settlements, and as the +marriage was invalid they were so much waste paper. + +My uncles, to whom my poor mother's fortune reverted, would not touch +it, and gave every bit back to us; but it was only 10,000 pounds, and +what was that among the four of us? + +I was in a sort of maze all the time, thinking of very little beyond +dear little Alured's struggle for life, and living upon his little +faint smiles when he was a shade better. + +Jaquetta has told me more of what passed than I heeded at the time. + +Our brothers decided not to retain the Trevor name, to which we had no +right; but they had both been christened Torwood; after an old family +custom, and they thought it best to use this still as a surname. + +Bertram felt the shame, as he would call it, the most; but Fulk held up +his head more. He said where there was no sin there was no shame; and +that to treat ourselves as under a blot of disgrace was insulting our +parents, who had been mistaken, but not guilty. + +Bertram was determined against returning to his regiment, and it would +have been really too expensive. His plan was to keep together, and lay +out our capital upon a piece of ground in New Zealand, which was +beginning to be settled. + +Jaquetta was always ready to be delighted. Dear child, her head was +full of log huts and Robinson Crusoe life, and cows to milk herself; +and I really think she would have liked to go ashore in the Swiss +family's eight tubs! + +The thorough change, after all the sorrow, seemed delicious to her! I +heard her and Bertram laughing down below, and wondered if they got the +length of settling what dogs they would take out! + +And Fulk! He really had almost persuaded himself that Emily would go +with us; or at the very worst, would wait till he had achieved +prosperity and could come home and fetch her. + +Mrs. Deerhurst had declared that waiting for the decision was so bad +for her nerves, that she must take her to Paris; and actually our dear +old stupid fellow had not perceived what that meant, for the woman had +let him part tenderly with Emily in London, with promises of writing, +&c., the instant the case was decided. It passed his powers to suppose +she could expose her daughter's heart to such a wreck. So he held up, +cheerful and hopeful, thinking what a treasure of constancy he had! +And when they had built their castle in New Zealand, they sent up +Jaquey to call me to share it with them. Baby was asleep, and I went +down; but when I heard the plan--it was cross to be so unsympathizing, +but I did feel hurt and angry at their forgetting him; and I said, "I +shall never leave Alured." + +"Ursula! you could not stay by yourself," said Jaquey. And Bertram, +who had hardly ever seen him, and could not care for him said it was +nonsense, and even if there were a chance of the child living, I could +not be left behind. + +I was wrought up, and broke out that he would and should live, and that +I would come as a stranger, a nursery governess, and watch over him, +and never abandon him to Hester. + +"Never fear, Ursula," said Fulk, "if he lives, he will be in safe +hands." + +"Safe hands! What are safe hands for a child like that! Hester's, who +only wishes him out of her way?" + +"For shame!" the others said, and I answered that, of course, I did not +think Hester meant ill by him, but that, where the doctors had said +only love and care could save him--no care was safe where he was not +loved; and I cried very, very bitterly, more than I had done even for +my father, or for anything else before; and I fell into a storm of +passion, at the cruelty of leaving the poor little thing, whom his +dying mother had trusted to me, and declared I would never, never do it. + +I was right in the main, it seems to me, but unjust and naughty in the +way I did it; and when Fulk, with some hesitation, began to talk of my +not being asked to go just yet--not while the child lived--I turned +round in a really violent, naughty fit, with--"You too, Fulk, I thought +you loved your little brother better than that? You only want to be +rid of him, and leave him to Hester, and he will die in her hands." + +Fulk began to say that the Court of Chancery never gave the custody to +the next heir. But I rushed away again to the nursery, and sat there, +devising plans of disguising myself in a close cap and blue spectacles, +and coming to offer myself as Lord Trevorsham's governess. + +The child had no relations whatever on his mother's side, and though, +if he had been healthy, nurses and tutors might have taken care of this +baby lordship, even that would have been sad enough; and for the feeble +little creature, whose life hung on a thread, how was it to be thought +of? I fully made up my mind to stay, even if they all went. I told +Jaquetta, so--in my vehemence dashed all her bright anticipation, and +sent her again in tears to bed. I wish unhappiness would not make one +so naughty! + +The next day poor Fulk was struck down. A letter came from Mrs. +Deerhurst to break off the engagement, and a great parcel containing +all the things he had given Emily. She must have packed them up before +leaving England, while she was still flattering him. Not a word nor a +line was there from Emily herself!--only a supplication from the mother +that he would not rend her child's heart by persisting--just as if she +had not encouraged him to go on all this time! + +Nothing would serve him but that he must dash over to Paris, to see her +and Emily. + +Railroads were not, and it was a ten days' affair at the shortest; and, +with all our prospects doubtful and Alured still so ill, it was very +trying. How Bertram did rave at the folly and futility of the +expedition! but one comfort was, that Alured was a ward of Chancery, +and, in the vast kindness and commiseration everyone bestowed upon us, +no one tried to hurry us or turn us out. + +Hester used to come continually to inquire after her brother, and there +was something in her way that always made me shudder when she asked +after him. I knew she could not wish for his life, and gloated over +all the reports she could collect of his weakness. I felt more and +more horror of her; God forgive me for not having tried not to hate +her. I sometimes doubt whether my dread and distrust were not visible, +and may not have put it into her head. + +And then came Mr. Decies, again and again. He was faithful--I see it +now. He cared not if I had neither name nor fortune; he held fast to +his proposals. And I? Oh, I was absorbed--I was universally +defiant--I did not do him justice in the bitterness I did not realise. +I thought he was constant only out of honour and pity, and I did not +choose to open my heart to understand his pleadings or accept them as +earnest--I was harsh. Oh, how little one knows what one is doing! Too +proud to be grateful--that was actually my case. I was enamoured of the +blue-spectacle plan; I had romances of watching Alured day and night, +and pouring away dangerous draughts. The very fancy, I see now, was +playing with edged tools; I feel as if my imagination had put the +possibility into the very air. + +Once indeed--when Jaquetta had been telling me she did not understand +my unkindness; and observed that, even for Alured's sake, she could not +see why I did not accept--I did begin to regard him as a possible +protector for the boy. But no; the blue spectacles would be the more +assiduous guardian, said my foolish fancy. + +Before I had thought it over into sense or reason, Fulk came back from +Paris. He had not been really crushed till now. He was white, and +silent, and resolute, and very gentle; all excitement of manner gone. +He did not say one word, but we knew it was all over with him, and that +he could not have had one scrap of comfort or hope. + +Nor had he, though even to me he told nothing, till we were together in +the dark one evening, much later. He did insist upon seeing Emily; but +her mother would not leave her, or take her eyes off her, and the timid +thing did nothing but sob and cry, in utter helplessness and shame, and +never even gave him a look. + +It was not the being neglected and cast off that he felt as such a +wrong, to both himself and Emily, but the being drawn on with false +hopes and promises to expect that she was to belong to him, after all; +and he was cruelly disappointed that Emily had not energy to cling to +him--he had made so sure of her. + +Bertram and Jaquetta had expected all along that he would be the more +eager to be off to the Antipodes when everything was swept away from +him here, and he did sit after dinner talking it over in a +business-like way, while Bertram gave him all the information he had +been collecting in his absence. + +I would not listen. I was determined against going away from my +charge; I had rather have been his housemaid than have left him to +Hester, and I must have looked like a stone as I got up, and left them +to their talk while I went back to the boy. + +I heard Bertram say while I was lighting my candle, "Poor Ursula! she +will not see it. Hart told me to-day that the child is dying--would +hardly get through the night." + +Now I had been thinking all the afternoon that he was better, and I had +gone down to dinner cheered. I turned into the doorway, and told Fulk +to come and see. + +He did come. There was Alured, lying, as he had lain all day, upon his +nurse's knees, with her arm under his head. He had not moaned for a +long time, and I had left him in a more comfortable sleep. He opened +his eyes as we came in, held out his hands more strongly than we +thought he could have done, quite smiled--such an intelligent +smile--and said, "Tor--Tor--," which was what he had always called his +brother, making his gesture to go to him. + +The tears came into Fulk's eyes, though he smiled back and spoke in his +sweet, strong voice, and held out his arms, while we told him he had +better sit down. Poor nurse! she must have been glad enough--she had +held him all that live-long day! And he was quite eager to go to his +brother, and smiled up and cooed out, "Tor--Tor," again, as he felt +himself on the strong arm. + +Fulk bade nurse go and lie down, and he would hold him. And so he did. +I fed the child, as I had done at intervals all day; and he sometimes +slept, sometimes woke and murmured or cooed a little, and Fulk scarcely +spoke or stirred, hour after hour. He had been travelling day and +night, but, strange to say, that enforced calm--that tender stillness +and watching, was better for him than rest. He would only have tossed +about awake, if he had gone to bed after a discussion with Bertram. + +But in the morning Dr. Hart came, quite surprised to find the child +alive; and when he looked at him and felt his pulse, he said, "You have +saved him for this time, at least." + +(Everybody was lavish of pronouns, and chary of proper names. Nobody +knew what to call anybody.) + +His little lordship was able to be laid in his cot, and Fulk, almost +blind now with sheer sleep, stumbled off to his room, threw himself on +his bed, and slept for seven hours in his clothes without so much as +moving. He confessed that he had never had such unbroken, dreamless +sleep since he had first seen Hester Lea's face. + +That little murmur of "Tor--Tor" had settled all our fates. I don't +think he had realised before how love was the one thing that the +child's life hung upon, and that the boy himself must have that love +and trust. Then, too, when he had waked and dressed and come down, the +first person he met was Hester, with her hard, glittering eyes, trying +to condole, and not able to hide how the exulting look went out of her +face on hearing that the Earl (as she chose to term him) was better. + +She supposed some arrangement would soon be made, and Fulk said he +should see the lawyers at once about it, and arrange for the personal +guardianship of Lord Trevorsham. + +"Of course I am the only proper person while he lives, poor child," she +said. + +I broke in with, "The next heir is never allowed the custody." + +I wish I had not. She hastily and proudly said "What do you mean?" and +Fulk quickly added that "the Lord Chancellor would decide." + +The next day he went out, and on returning came up to me in the +nursery, and called me into the study. + +"Ursula," he said, "I find that, considering the circumstances, there +will be no objection made to our retaining the personal charge of our +little brother. Everyone is very kind. Ours is not a common case of +illegitimacy, and my father's well-known express wishes will be allowed +to prevail." + +"And your character," I could not help saying; and he owned that it did +go for something, that he was known to everybody, and had some standing +of his own, apart from the rank he had lost. + +Then he went on to say that this would of course put an end to the +emigration plan, so far as he was concerned. No doubt in the restless +desire of change coming after such a fall and disappointment it was a +great sacrifice; but as he said, "There did not seem anything left for +him in life but just to try to do what seemed most like one's duty." +And then he said it did not seem a worthy thing to do nothing, but just +exist on a confined income, and the only thing he did know anything +about, and was not too old to learn, was farming, and managing an +estate. + +Trevorsham would want an agent, for old Hall was so old, that my +brother had really done all his work for a year or two past; and he had +felt his way enough to know he could get appointed to the agency, if he +chose. The house was to be let, but there was a farm to be had about +two miles off, with a good house, and he thought of taking it, and +stocking it, and turning regular farmer on his own account; while +looking after the property, and bringing Alured up among his own people +and interests. + +Bertram did not like this at all. "Among all our old friends and +acquaintance? Impossible! unbearable!" he said. + +But Fulk's answer, was--"Better so! If we went to a strange place, and +tried to conceal it, it would always be oozing out, and be supposed +disgraceful. If my sisters can bear it, I had rather confront it +straightforwardly--" + +"And be _pitied_"--said Bertram, with _such_ a contemptuous tone. + +Nobody, however, thought it would be advisable for him to give up the +New Zealand plan, nor did he ever mean it for a moment; indeed, he +declared that he should go and prepare for us; for that we should very +soon get tired of Skimping's Farm, and come out to him; meaning, of +course, that our dear charge would be over. + +He even wanted Jaquetta to come with him at once, and the log huts and +fern trees danced before her eyes as the blue spectacles had done +before mine; but she did not like to leave me, and Fulk would not +encourage it, for we both thought her much too young and too tenderly +brought up to be sent out to a wild settler's life alone with Bertram, +and without a friend near. + +To be farmers' sisters where we had been the Earl's daughters--well, I +had much rather then that it had been somewhere else; but I saw it was +best for Baby and still more so for Fulk, and clear little Jaquey held +fast to me and to him, and so it was settled! + +Our friends and relatives had much rather we had all emigrated. They +did not know what to do with us, and would have been glad to have had +us all out of sight for ever, "damaged goods shipped off to the +colonies." We felt this and it heartened us up to stay out of the +spirit of opposition. + +Old Aunt Amelia, who fussed and cried over us, and our two uncles, who +gave us good advice by the yard! Alas! I fear we were equally +ungrateful to them, both cold and impatient. No, we did not bear it +really well, though they said we did. We had plenty of pride and +self-respect, and that carried us on; but there was no submission, no +notion of taking it religiously. I don't mean that we did not go to +church, and in the main try to do right. Any one more upright than my +brother it would have been hard to find; but as to any notion that +religious feeling could help us, and that our reverse might be blessed +to us, that would have seemed a very strange language indeed! + +And so we were hard, we would bear no sympathy but from one another, +and even among ourselves we never gave way. + +People admired us, I fancy, but were alienated and disappointed, and we +were quite willing _then_ to have it so. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +SKIMPING'S FARM. + + +Skimping's Farm was the unlucky name of the place, and Fulk would allow +of no modification--his resolution was to accept it all entirely. Now +I love no spot on earth so well. It was very different then. + +The farm-house lay on the slope of the hill, in the parish of +Trevorsham, but with the park lying between it and the main village. +The ground sloped sharply down to the little river, which, about two +miles lower down, blends with the Avon, being, in fact, a creek out of +Shinglebay. Beneath the house the stream is clear and rocky, but then +comes a flat of salt marsh, excellent for cattle; and then, again, the +river becomes tidal, and reaches at high water to the steep banks, +sometimes covered with wood, sometimes with pasture or corn. + +Then under the little promontory comes the hamlet of fisherfolk at Quay +Trevor; and then the coast sweeps away to Shinglebay town, as anyone +may see by the map. + +Ours is an old farm, and had an orchard of old apple-trees sloping down +to the river--as also did the home field, only divided by a low stone +wall from the little strip of flower-garden before the house, which in +those days had nothing in it but two tamarisks, a tea-tree, and a rose +with lovely buds and flowers that always had green hearts. + +There was a good-sized kitchen-garden behind, and the farm-yard was at +the side by the back door. The house is old and therefore was handsome +outside, even then, but the chief of the lower story was comprised in +one big room, a "keeping-room," as it was called, with an open chimney, +screened by a settle, and with a long polished table, with a bench on +either side. Into this room the front porch--a deep one, with +seats--opened. At one end was a charming little sitting-room, parted +off; at the other, the real kitchen for cooking, and the dairy and all +the rest of the farm offices. + +Up-stairs--the stairs are dark oak, and come down at one end of the big +kitchen--there is one beautiful large room, made the larger by a grand +oriel window under the gable, one opening out of it, and four more over +the offices; then a step-ladder and a great cheese-room, and a perfect +wilderness of odd nooks up in the roof. + +As to furniture, Fulk had bought that with the stock and everything +else belonging to the farm for a round sum; and the Chancery people +told us that we might take anything for ourselves from home that had +been bought by ourselves, had belonged to our mother, or been given to +us individually. + +So the furniture of Fulk's rooms in London--most of which he had had at +Oxford--my own piano, our books, and various little worktables, chairs, +pictures, and knicknacks appertained to us; also, we brought what +belonged to the little one's nursery, and put him in the large room. +His grand nurse--Earl though he was--could not stand the change; but +old Blake, who was retiring into a public house, as he could do nothing +else for us, suggested his youngest sister, who became the comfort of +my life, for she was the widow of a small farmer, and could give me +plenty of sound counsel as to how much pork to provide for the +labourers, and how much small beer would keep them in good heart, and +not make them too merry. And she had too much good sense to get into +rivalry with Susan Sisson, the hind's wife, who lived in a kind of +lean-to cottage opening into the farm-yard, and was the chief (real) +manager of the dairy and poultry--though such was not Jaquetta's view +of the case by any manner of means. + +What a help it was to have one creature who did enjoy it all from the +very first! + +The parting with Bertram was sore, and one's heart will ache after him +still at times, though he is prosperous and happy with his wife and +fine family at the new Trevorsham. Fulk went through it all in a grave +set way, as if he knew he never should be happy again, and accepted +everything in silence, as a matter of course, not wanting to sadden us, +but often grieving me more by his steady silence than if he had +complained. + +One thing he was resolved on, that he would be a farmer out and +out--not a gentleman farmer, as he said; but though he only wore +broadcloth in the evening and on Sundays, I can't say he ever succeeded +in not looking more of the gentleman. + +We fitted up the little parlour with our prettiest things, and it was +our morning room, and we put a screen across the big keeping-room, +which made it snug for a family gathering place. But those were the +days when everyone was abusing the farmers for not living with their +labourers in the house, and Fulk was determined to try it, at least the +first year, either for the sake of consistency, or because he was +resolved to keep our expenses as low as possible. "Failure would be +ruin," he impressed on us, and he thought we ought to live on the +profits of the farm, except what was directly spent on the boy, and to +save the income of the agency. (Taking one year with another, we did +so.) + +So he gave up his own dear old Cid, and only used the same horses that +had sufficed for our predecessor--a most real loss and deprivation--and +he chose to take meals at the long table in the keeping-room with the +farm servants. He said we girls might dine in our little parlour +apart, but there was no bearing that, and the whole household dined and +supped together. Breakfast was at such uncertain times that we left +that for the back kitchen, and had our own little round table by the +fire, or in the parlour, at half-past seven; and so we took care to +have a good cup of coffee for Fulk when he came in about five or six; +but the half-past twelve dinner and eight o'clock supper were at the +long table, our three selves and Baby at the top--Baby between me and +Mrs. Rowe ("Ally's Rowe," as he called her), then George and Susan +Sisson opposite each other, the under nurse, the two maids, the hind, +and the three lads. + +I believe it was a very awful penance to them at first. We used to +hear them splashing away at the pump and puffing like porpoises; and +they came in with shining faces and lank hair in wet rats' tails, the +foremost of which they pulled on all occasions of sitting down, getting +up, or being offered food. + +But they always behaved very well, and the habit of the animal at +feeding-time is so silent that I believe the restraint was compensated +by the honour; and it did civilise them, thanks, perhaps, to Susan's +lectures on manners, which we sometimes overheard. + +Fulk made spasmodic attempts to talk to Sisson; but the chief +conversation was Jaquetta's. She went on merrily all dinner-time, +asking about ten thousand things, and hazarding opinions that elicited +amusement in spite of ourselves: as when she asked, what sheep did with +their other two legs, or suggested growing canary seed, as sure to be a +profitable crop. Indeed, I think she had a little speculation in it on +her own account in the kitchen garden--only the sparrows were too many +for her--and what they left would not ripen. + +But the child was always full of some new and rare device, rattling on +anyhow, not for want of sense, but just to force a smile out of Fulk +and keep us all alive, as she called it. She knew every bird and beast +on the farm, fed the chickens, collected the eggs, nursed tender chicks +or orphan lambs and weaning calves, and was in and out with the dogs +all day, really as happy as ten queens, with the freedom and homely +usefulness of the life--tripping daintily about in the tall pattens of +farm life in those days, and making fresh enjoyment and fun of +everything. + +I used to be half vexed to see her grieve so little over all we had +lost; but Fulk said, "I suppose it is very hard to break down a +creature at that age." + +And even I was cheered by the wonderful start of health Alured took +from the time Mrs. Rowe had him. He grew fat and rosy, and learnt to +walk; and Dr. Hart was quite astonished at his progress, and said he +was nearly safe from any more attacks of that fearful water on the +brain till he was six or seven years old, and that, till that time, we +must let him be as much as possible in the open air, and with the +animals, and not stimulate his brain--neither teach, nor excite, nor +contradict him, nor let him cry. The farm life was evidently the very +thing he wanted. + +What a reprieve it was, even though it should be only a reprieve! + +He was already three years old, and was very clever and observant. + +We were glad that he was too young to take heed of the change, or to +see what was implied by his change from "baby," to "my lord," and we +always called him by his Christian name. Mrs. Rowe felt far too much +for us to gossip to him, and he was always with her or with me, though +I do believe he liked Ben--the great, rough, hind--better than anyone +else; would lead Mrs. Rowe long dances after him, to see him milk the +cows, and would hold forth to him at dinner, in a way as diverting to +us as it was embarrassing to poor Ben, who used to blurt out at +intervals, "Yoi, my lord," and "Noa, my lord," while the two maids +tried to swallow their tittering. The farmers at market used to call +Fulk, "my lord," by mistake, and then colour up to their eyes through +their red faces. + +I believe, indeed, it was their name for him among themselves, and that +they watched him with a certain contemptuous compassion, in the full +belief that he would ruin himself. + +And he declares he should if he had lived a bit more luxuriously, or if +he had not had the agency salary to help him through the years of +buying experience and the bad season with which he began. + +Nor was it till he had for some years introduced that capital breed +which thrives so well in the salt marshes, and twice following showed +up the prize ox at the county show, that they began to believe in +"Farmer Torwood," or think his "advanced opinions" in agriculture +anything but a gentleman's whimsies. + +As to friends and acquaintance, I am afraid we showed a great deal of +pride and stiffness. They were kinder than we deserved, but we thought +it prying and patronage, and would not accept what we could not return. + +It is not fair to say we. It was only myself--Jaquetta never saw +anything but kindness, and took it pleasantly, and Fulk was too busy +and too unhappy to be concerned about our visiting matters. If I saw +anyone coming to call I hid myself in the orchard, or if I was taken by +surprise I was stiffness itself; and then I wrote a set of cards (Miss +Torwood and Miss Jaquetta Torwood), and drove round in the queer +old-fashioned gig to leave them, and there was an end of it; for I +would accept no invitations, though Jaquetta looked at me wistfully. +And thus I daunted all but old Miss Prior. Poor old thing! All her +pleasures had oozed down from our house in old times to her; and her +gratitude was indomitable, and stood all imaginable rebuffs that +courtesy permitted me. I believe she only pitied and loved me the +more, and persevered in the dreadful kindness that has no tact. + +It did not strike me that pleasure might be good for Jaquetta, or that +Fulk's stern silent sorrow might have been lightened by variety. Used +as he had been to political life and London society, it was no small +change to have merely the market for interest, the farm for occupation, +and no society but ourselves; no newspaper but the County Chronicle +once a week; no new books, for Mudie did not exist then, even if we +could have afforded it. We had dropped out of the guinea country book +club, and Knight's "Penny Magazine" was our only fresh literature. +However, Jaquetta never was much of a reader, and was full of +business--queen of the poultry, and running after the weakly ones half +the day, supplementing George Sisson's very inadequate gardening--aye, +and his wife's equally rough cooking. She found a receipt book, and +turned out excellent dishes. She could not bear, she said, to see Fulk +try to eat grease, and with an effort at concealment, assisted by the +dogs, fall back upon bread and cheese. + +Luckily plain work in the school-room had not gone out in our day, and +I could make and mend respectably, but I had to keep a volume of +Shakespeare, Scott, or Wordsworth open before me, and learn it by +heart, to keep away thoughts, which might have been good for me; but +no--they were working on their own bitterness. + +Sunday was the hardest day of all to Fulk, for this was the only one on +which he could not be busy enough to tire himself out. We were a mile +from church, and when we got to the worm-eaten farm pew there was a +smell, as Jaquey said, as if generations of farmers had been eating +cheese there, and generations of mice eating after them; and she always +longed to shut up a cat there. + +The old curate was very old, and nothing seemed alive but the fiddles +in the gallery--indeed, after the "Penny Magazine" had made us +acquainted with the Nibelung, Jaquey took to calling Sisson, Folker the +mighty fiddler, so determined were his strains. + +After the great house was shut up, one service was dropped, and so the +latter part of the day was spent in a visit to all the livestock, Fulk +laden with Alured, and Jaquetta with tit bits for each and all. + +She and Alured really enjoyed it, and we tried to think we did! And +then Fulk used to stride off on a long solitary walk, or else sit in +the porch with his arms across, in a dumb heavy silence, till he saw us +looking at him; and then he would shake himself, and go and find +Sisson, and discuss every field and beast with him. + +At least we thought we should have been at peace here; but one +afternoon, when Jaquetta had gone across to the village to see some +purchase at the shop, she came back flushed and breathless, and said as +she sat down by me, "Oh! Ursie, Ursie, I met Miss Prior; and _she_ has +bought Spinney Lawn." + +_She_ was Hester; it had never meant anyone else amongst us when it was +said in that voice. Fulk, when we told him, had, it appeared, known it +for some days past. All he said was, "Well! she has every right." + +And when I exclaimed, "Just like a harpy, come to watch our poor +child!" he said, "Nonsense." + +But I knew I was right, and sat brooding--till presently he said, "Put +that out of your head, Ursula, or you will not be able to behave +properly to her." + +"I don't see any good in behaving properly to her," said Jaquetta. +"What business has she to come here?" + +"I do not choose to regale the neighbourhood with our family +jars"--said Fulk, quietly. + +And then--such a ridiculous child as Jaquetta was--she burst out +laughing, and cried, "What a feast they would be! Preserved crabs, I +suppose;" and she brought a tiny curl into the corner of his mouth. + +My pride was up, and I remember I answered, "You are right, Fulk. No +one shall say we are jealous, or shrink from the sight of her!" + +"When Smith told me that he had no idea who was the bidder, or he would +not have suffered it," said Fulk, "I told him I could have no possible +objection!" + +And so we endured it in our pride and our dignity. + +Lady Hester Lea was the heroine of the neighbourhood. The romance of +the disowned daughter was charming; and I was far too disagreeable to +excite any counterbalancing pity. She was handsome, and everybody +raved about her likeness to poor papa and the family portraits; and her +Montreal convent had given her manners quite distinct from English +vulgarity; or, maybe, her blood told on her bearing, for she was +immensely admired for her demeanour, quite as much as for her beauty. + +Old Miss Prior--whom no coldness on my part could check in her +assiduous kindness, and nothing would hinder from affectionately +telling us whatever we did not want to hear--kept us constantly +informed of the new comer's triumphs. Especially she would dwell upon +the sensation that Lady Hester produced, and all that the gentlemen +said of her. Her name stood as lady patroness to all the balls and +fancy fairs, and archery, that Shinglebay produced; and there was no +going to shop there without her barouche coming clattering down the +street with the two prancing greys, and poor little Trevor inside, with +a looped-up hat and ostrich feather exactly like Alured's; for by some +intention she always dressed him in the exact likeness of his little +uncle's. I used to think Miss Prior told her, and sedulously prevented +her ever seeing his lordship out of his brown holland pinafores, but +the same rule still held good. + +What tender enquiries poor Miss Prior used to make after "the dear +little lord," as she called him. My asseverations of his health and +intelligence generally eliciting that it was current among Lady +Hester's friends that he could neither stand nor speak, and was so +imbecile that it was a mercy that he could not live to be eight years +old. + +Of course that was what Hester was waiting for. And no small pleasure +was it when Alured would come pattering in with a shout of "Ursa, +Ursa," and as soon as he saw a lady, would stop, and pull off his hat +from his chestnut curls like the little gentleman he always was. + +Spinney Lawn was bought before Joel Lea came to England. If he had +seen where it was I doubt whether he would have consented to the +purchase; but Perrault managed it all, and then, with what he had made +out of the case, bought himself a share in Meakin's office at +Shinglebay, and constituted himself Lady Hester's legal adviser. + +Mr. Lea, after vainly trying to get his wife to return to Sault St. +Pierre, thought it wrong to be apart from her and his son, and came to +England. + +Fulk went at once to call on him, expecting to be disgusted with +Yankeeisms; but came home, saying he had found a more unlucky man than +himself! + +Fancy a great, big, plain, hard-working back-woodsman, bred only to the +axe and rifle, with illimitable forests to range in, happy in toil and +homely plenty, and a little king to himself, set down in an English +villa, with a trim garden and paddock, and servants everywhere to +deprive him of the very semblance to occupation! + +Poor man! he had not even the alleviation of being proud of it, and +trying to live up to it. Puritan to the bone of his broad back, he +thought everything as wicked as it was wearisome and foolish; and lived +like Faithful in "Vanity Fair," solely enduring it for the sake of his +wife and son. I suppose he could not have carried her off, or altered +her course without the strong hand; for she was a determined woman, all +the more resolute because she acted for her child. + +He was a staunch Dissenter, and would not go to church with Lady +Hester, who did so as a needful part of the belonging of her station, +or, perhaps, to watch over us, but trudged two miles every Sunday to +the meeting-house at Shinglebay, where he was a great light, and spent +all that she allowed him on the minister and the Sunday school. + +As to society, he abhorred it on principle, and kept out of the way +when his wife gave her parties. If she had an old affection for him in +the depths of her heart, it was swallowed up in vexation and +provocation; and no wonder, for the verdict of society, as Miss Prior +reported it, was--"How sad that such a woman as Lady Hester should have +been thrown away on a mere common man--not a bit better than a +labourer." + +I detested him like all the rest; but Fulk declared he was sublime in +passive endurance, and used to make opportunities of consulting him +about cattle or farming, just to interest him. + +Fulk and the dissenting minister were the only friends the poor man +had, and the latter Hester would not let into her house. As to +Perrault, he loathed and shrank from him as the real destroyer of all +his peace, and still the most dangerous influence about his wife. He +never said so, but we felt it. + +I think the poor man's happiest hours were spent here; and, now and +then in a press of work, or to show how a thing ought to be done, he +put his own hand to axe, lever, or hay-fork, and toiled with that +cruelly-wasted alert strength. + +Fulk always says there never was anyone who taught him so much as Joel +Lea, and he means deeper things than farming. + +Sometimes Mr. Lea brought his little boy. I was vexed at first; but +Alured, who had hardly spoken to a child before, was in ecstasies, as +if a new existence had come upon him; and Trevor Lea was really a very +nice little boy. He was only half a year the elder; and they were so +much alike that strangers did not know them apart, dressed alike, as +they were; or they were taken for twins, and it made people laugh to +find they were uncle and nephew. + +And I must allow the nephew was the best behaved, though it made me +savage to hear Fulk say so. But our Ally's was not real +naughtiness--only the consequence of our not being able to keep up +discipline, while we lived in dread of that seventh year that might +rob us of our darling--always sweet and loving. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +SPINNEY LAWN. + + +A change or two began to creep into our life. One afternoon, as +Jaquetta, in her pretty pink gingham and white apron, with her black +hair in the Grecian coil we used to wear when our heads were allowed to +be of their own proper size, was gathering crimson apples from the +quarrendon tree close to the river, a voice came over the water-- + +"Oh, my good girl, if you would but stand so a minute, and allow me to +sketch you!" + +Jaquetta started round and laughed. No doubt she was looking like an +Arcadian; but I--as from under the trees I saw two gentlemen on the +other side of the little stream, and jumped up to come to her +defence--I must have looked more like a displeased if not +draggle-tailed duchess, for there was an immediate disconcerted begging +of our pardons, and a hasty departure. + +Jaquetta made a very funny account of my spring forward in awful +dignity, so horribly affronted at her being called a good girl! and she +made Fulk laugh heartily. The gloom did seem to be lightening on him +now. + +Walking tourists, we supposed, though one we thought was a clergyman; +and on Sunday we saw him in the desk and the draughtsman in the +parsonage pew; and we discovered that these were the proposed new +curate, Mr. Cradock, and his younger brother. Our rector was a canon +who had bad health and never came near us, and the poor old curate was +past work, and, indeed, died a week or two after he had given up. + +I saw that younger brother colour up to the roots of his bright hair as +Jaquetta walked up the aisle, in her drawn black silk bonnet with the +pink lining (made by herself); and I think she coloured too, for she +was rosier than usual when we faced round in the corners of our pew. + +We saw no more of them for a month, and a dainty, bridal-looking little +lady appeared in the parsonage seat, with white ribbons in her straw +bonnet, and modest little orange flowers in the frill round her +pleasant face. + +Mrs. Cradock she was, we heard; and not only Miss Prior, but Fulk, +wanted us to call on her. + +"What's the use?" said I. "Farmers' families are not on visiting terms +with the ladies of the parsonage." + +Poor Jaquey uttered an "Oh dear!" but she and Fulk knew I was past +moving in that mood. + +However, one morning in the next week, in walked Fulk into the +keeping-room, and the clergyman with him, and found Jaquey and me +standing at the long table under the window, peeling and cutting up +apples for apple-cheese. + +"Mr. Cradock, my sister," he said, just in the old tone when he brought +a friend into our St. James's-street drawing-room; and he hardly gave +time for the shaking of hands before he had returned to the discussion +about the change of ministry, just with the voice and animation I had +not seen for two whole years. + +We went on with our apples. For one thing, we were not wanted; for +another, there was no fire in the little parlour, and the gentlemen +both seemed to be enjoying the bright one that was burning on the +hearth. + +The only difficulty was that dinner time began to approach. The men +could not be kept waiting; and I heard Alured awake from his sleep, +pattering about and shouting; and as we began to gather up our apples +one of the maids peeped in with a table-cloth over her arm. + +Mr. Cradock saw, though Fulk did not, and said his wife would expect +him; and then he looked most pleasantly to me, and said he was not at +all wanted at home, while his wife was luxuriating in a settlement of +furniture; but this was, he was assured, the last day of confusion, and +to-morrow she would be quite ready for all who would be so good as to +call on her. + +I could only say I would do myself the pleasure; and then he still +waited a moment to say that his brother Arthur could not recover from +his dismay at his greeting to Miss Torwood. + +"But," he said, "the boy's head was quite turned by the beauty of the +country. He had been raving all day about the new poet, Alfred +Tennyson, and I believe he thought he had walked into lotus-land." + +"Nearer the dragon of the Hesperides, perhaps," said Fulk, laughing. +"Is he with you now?" + +"No; he has gone back to Oxford. He is in his second year; and whether +he takes to medicine or to art is to be settled by common-sense or +genius." + +"Oh, but if he has genius?" began Jaquetta eagerly. + +"That's the question," said Mr. Cradock, laughing. "But I am hindering +you shamefully," and with that he took his leave, having quite +demolished our barriers. + +And his wife was of the same nature--simple, blithe, and bonny--ready +to make friends in a moment; and though she must have known all about +us, never seeming to remember anything but that we were her nearest +lady neighbours. + +Jaquetta, whose young friendships had been broken short off, because +the poor girls really did not know how to correspond with her under +present circumstances, took to Mrs. Cradock with eager enthusiasm, and +tripped across the park to her two or three times a week, and became +delightedly interested in all her doings, parochial or otherwise. + +Dear Jaquey's happy nature had always been content; but when I saw how +exceedingly she enjoyed the variety, liveliness, and occupations +brought by the Cradocks, I felt that it had been scarcely kind to +seclude her to gratify my own sole pride; but then there had been +nobody like the Cradocks--to drop or be dropped. + +The refreshment to Fulk was even greater. The having a man to converse +with, and break his mind against, one who would argue, and who really +cared for the true principles of politics, made an immense difference +to him. When after tea he said he would walk to the parsonage to see +how the debate had gone, and we knew we should not see him till +half-past ten, we could not but be glad; it must have been so much +pleasanter than playing at chess, listening to our old music, or +reading even the new books they lent us. + +He brightened greatly that winter, and I ceased to fear that he was +getting a farmer's slouch. He looked as stately and beautiful as ever +Lord Torwood had done, and the dejection had gone out of his face and +bearing, when suddenly it returned again; and as Miss Prior was away +from home, I never found out the cause till one day, as I was shopping +at Shinglebay, and was telling the linen draper that Mr. Torwood would +call for the parcel, I saw the lady at the other counter start and turn +round, as if at a sudden shock. + +Then I saw the white doe eyes, full of the old pleading expression, and +the lips quivering wistfully, but I only said to myself, "The old arts! +That is what has overthrown Fulk again;" and away I went with a rigid +bow, and said nothing. + +There was no exchange of calls. That was not my fault, for we could +not have begun; and we heard that Mrs. Deerhurst said, "The Torwoods +had shown very good taste in retiring from all society, poor things. +Only it was a great mistake to remain in the neighbourhood--so awkward +for everybody!" + +Mrs. Cradock was much struck with Emily's sweet looks; but I believe +that Jaquetta told her all about it, and we never met the Deerhursts +there. + +In fact they were not intimate, for there must have been a repulsion +between Mrs. Deerhurst and such a woman as Mary Cradock. + +The Deerhursts owned a villa on the outskirts of Shinglebay; indeed, I +believe it was the difficulty in letting it that had unwillingly forced +Mrs. Deerhurst home, after having married her second daughter, but not +Emily. She was only a mile and a half from Spinney Lawn, and speedily +became familiar there, being as entirely Hester's counsellor in +etiquette as was Perrault on business. People saw a marked improvement +in elegance from the time she became adviser. + +That next winter poor Joel Lea died. I suppose it was merely the +dulness and want of exercise that killed him, for he had lost flesh and +grown languid in manner for months before a low fever set in, and he +had no power to struggle with it. + +He had been ill a long time, when he sent a message to beg Mr. Torwood +to come and see him. Jaquetta and I persuaded ourselves that he had +discovered that Perrault had suborned witnesses, or done something that +would falsify the whole trial. + +Jaquetta said she should be very glad for Fulk, and if it happened now +little Alured would never feel it; but for her own part, she should +hate to go back to be my lady again. She had never known before what +happiness was. + +I could not help laughing. Nobody had ever detected anything amiss +with Lady Jaquetta Trevor's spirits, but that they were too high at +times. + +"Of course I don't mean that I was miserable!" she said; "but there's +something now that does make everything so delicious." + +"Could you not take that something to the park?" I asked, laughing. + +"I don't know! It would not be so bad if I could run in and out at the +parsonage as I do now." + +And as I smiled, it smote me as I recollected that Arthur Cradock was +always at the parsonage in the vacations. Jaquetta had been sketched +many a time as nymph of the orchard, and many a nymph besides. And if +he was yielding to his brother's wisdom in making medicine his study +and art his pleasure, was not our unconscious maiden the sugar that +sweetened the cup of prudence? Might not elevation be as sore a trial +to her as depression had been to us? + +However, our troubling ourselves was all nonsense. Good Joel Lea would +never have connived at any evil doings. All he had wanted of Fulk was +to be certain of his forgiveness for the injury he had suffered through +his wife, and to entreat him to keep a watch over her and the boy. + +"You are her brother, when all is come and gone," he said; "and I do +not trust that Perrault. If ever he fails her, or turns against her, +you'll stand her friend, and look to the boy?" + +Fulk heartily promised, and Joel further begged him to write to her +eldest brother, Francis Dayman (who was prospering immensely in the +timber trade), and let him know the state of things--though he had been +so angered at Hester's sacrifice of his mother's good name and his own +birth, that he had broken with her entirely. + +"But if anyone can get her out of Perrault's hands, it is Francis," +poor Joel said; and he went on to talk of his poor boy, about whom he +was very anxious, having no trust in any of Hester's intimates, and +begging Fulk to throw a good word to him now and then. + +"He thinks much of you," he said. "I heard him tell Miss Deerhurst +that it was no use for anyone to try to be such an out-and-out +gentleman as his uncle, for they couldn't do it, and he had rather be +like you than anyone else. I don't care for gentlemen, and all that +foolery, as you know. I wish I could leave him to my old mate, Eli +Potter; but you are true and honest, Fulk Torwood, and I think not so +far from the kingdom--" + +Then he asked Fulk to read a chapter to him. No one else would do so, +except little Trevor, when now and then left alone with him; but Hester +would not believe him seriously ill, and thought the Bible wearied him +and made him low spirited; and as to his friend the Dissenter, she +would never admit him. + +Fulk was so indignant that he wanted to drive to Shinglebay and fetch +Mr. Ball, but Lea thanked him and half smiled at his superstition of +thinking that a minister was needed to speed his soul; but he was +pleased that Fulk came to him on each of the four or five remaining +days of his life, and read to him whatever he wished. + +He sank suddenly at last, while Hester was at church on Sunday morning, +and died when alone with Fulk. + +Somehow the intense reality of that man and the true comfort his faith +was to him made an immense impression on my brother, and seemed, as it +were, to give the communication between his religious belief and his +feelings, which had somehow not been in force before. He thought and +borrowed books from Mr. Cradock, and there came a deepening and +softening over him, which one saw in many ways, that made him dearer +than ever. He looked more at peace, even though one felt that each +passing sight of Emily was a sting. + +Hester was dreadfully stricken down at first, and her anguish of +lamentation and self-reproach was terrible to witness; but she would +not hear of Fulk's fetching either of us--indeed, I fancy that was the +fault of my dry, cold looks--nor would she allow him to do anything for +her. + +Mrs. Deerhurst came to be with her, and Perrault managed everything. + +They had a magnificent funeral--much grander than my father's--and laid +him in the family vault. + +Perrault took the opportunity of insulting Fulk by pairing him with old +Hall, the ex-agent; but Hall found it out in time, and refused to go, +and when the moment came everybody fell back, and Fulk found himself +close to poor little Trevor, who tried to get his hand out of +Perrault's and cling to him; but Perrault held him tight till, at the +moment when they moved to the mouth of the vault and were to go down +the steps, terror completely seized the poor child, and he began to +shriek so fearfully that Fulk had to snatch him up and carry him out of +the church, trembling from head to foot. + +It was very cruel to send a sensitive child of six years old in that +way; but Hester was too much exhausted with her violent grief to go +herself, and, devoted mother as she was in all else, she never +perceived that poor child's instinctive shrinking from Perrault. + +We tried to be kind to her, and hoped she would soften towards us; but +she did not. I could see her eyes glitter with their keen, searching +glance under her crape veil, as if she were measuring Alured all over +when the child walked into church with me; and, indeed, when he went to +the Zoological Gardens some time later, and saw the cobra di capello, +he said-- + +"Ursa, why does that snake look at me just like Lady Hester?" + +There must have been fascination in the eager mystery of the gaze, for, +strangely enough, he was not afraid of her. She always made much of +him if he came in her way, and he was so fond of Trevor Lea that +nothing made him so eager or happy as the thought of seeing him. + +The one idea that her boy was ousted by Alured, and the longing to see +him the heir, seemed to drive out everything else from Hester--almost +feeling for her husband. + +Fulk had written to Francis Dayman, and he intended to come and see +after his sister as soon as he could leave his business; but this +rather precipitated matters. Hester was persuaded that Alured could +not live through that eighth year of his life at the utmost, and +Perrault somehow persuaded her, that only as her husband could he +protect her interests and Trevor's, though what machinations she could +have expected from us, I cannot guess; or how, in the case of a minor, +we could have interfered with her rights. But the man had gained such +an ascendancy over her, that she did not even perceive that the +connection was not good for that great object of hers, her son's +position in society. In fact, he persuaded her that he was of a noble +old French family, and ought to be a count. How we laughed when we +heard of it! She did preserve wisdom enough to insist upon having her +fortune conveyed to trustees for her son, so that Perrault could only +touch the income, and not the principal; and as she told everyone that +he had been determined upon this being done, I suppose he saw that any +demur would excite her suspicion. + +They went to London, and were married there, while we were still +scouting poor Miss Prior's rumours. We were very sorry when we thought +of poor Joel's charge; and, besides, "the count" had an uncomfortable +slippery look about him. I can't describe it otherwise. He was a +slim, trim, well-dressed man, only given to elaborate jewellery and +waistcoats, with polished black hair and boots, and keen French-looking +eyes, well-mannered, and so versatile and polite, that he soon overcame +people's prejudices; and he was thought to make a much better master of +the house than poor Joel had ever done. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THE WHITE DOE'S WARNING. + + +Here was Alured's eighth birthday, and he had never been ill at all, +but was as fine-looking healthy a boy as could be seen. + +We took him to London, and showed him to Dr. Hart, and he said that the +old tendency was entirely outgrown, and that Lord Trevorsham was as +likely to live and thrive as any child of his age in England. + +It really seemed the beginning of a new life, not to have that dreadful +fear hanging over us any longer! We felt settled, that was one thing; +not as if we should do as Bertram expected, have to come off to New +Zealand. + +The farm had just began to pay. Fulk's sales of cattle had been, for +the first time, more than enough to clear his rent. He had a great ox +in the Smithfield Cattle Show, and met our Lupton uncles there not as +an unsuccessful man. + +And I? I had a dim feeling that Alured would soon cease to need me, +and Jaquetta would not be claimed for a long time; and if-- + +But in the midst of that I saw a haggard face driving in the park by +the side of a little, over-dressed, faded woman. + +And Aunt Amelia told me how (in the rebound from my harshness, no +doubt) Mr. Decies had, as it were, dropped into the hands of a weak, +extravagant girl, who had long been using all the intellect she had to +attract him, and now led him a dreary life of perpetual dissipation. + +I don't know how much I had been to blame. I am sure he was meant for +better things. Mine could never have been real love for him, and the +refusal could not have been wrong. It must have been the pride and +harshness that stung him! + +I was very sorry for him, though I could not think about it, of course, +still less speak; but that was the beginning of my hating myself, and I +have hated myself more and more ever since I have taken to write all +this down, and seen how hard and foolish I was, how very much the worst +of the three. + +Even my care for Alured sprang out of exclusive passion, and so, though +I do think that by Heaven's mercy I had a great share in cherishing him +into strength and health, I had managed him badly, I had indulged him +over much, and was improperly resentful of any attempt of Jaquetta, or +even of Fulk, to interfere with him or restrain him. + +Thus, when the anxiety was over, and he was a strong boy, full of +health and activity, his will was entirely unrestrained, he had no +notion of minding any of us, still less of learning. Trevor Lea could +read, write, talk French, say a few Latin declensions, when Alured +could not read a word of three letters, and would not try to learn. + +Oh! the antics he played when I tried to teach him! Then Fulk tried, +and he was tame for three days, but then came idleness, wilfulness, +anger, punishment, but he laughed to scorn all that we could find in +our hearts to do to him. + +As to getting other help we were ashamed till he should be a little +less shamefully backward. The Cradocks offered to teach him, but then, +unless he was elaborately put on honour, he played truant. + +He had plenty of honour, plenty of affection, but not the smallest +conscience as to obedience; and Fulk would not have the other two +motives worked too hard, saying the one might break, the other give way. + +We had not taught obedience, so we had to take the consequences, and we +were the less able to enforce it that he had come to a knowledge of our +mutual relations much sooner than we intended, and in the worst manner +possible. + +Of course he knew himself to be Lord Trevorsham, and owner of the +property; but one day, when Fulk found him galloping his pony in the +field laid up for hay, and ordered him out, he retorted that "You ain't +my proper brother, and you haven't any rights over me! It is my field; +and I shall do as I like." + +Fulk got hold of the pony's bridle, and took Alured by the shoulder +without one word, then took him into the little study, and had it out +with him. + +It was Hester who had told him. He had been at Spinney Lawn with +Trevor all one afternoon, when we had thought him out with old Sisson. +He had told no falsehood indeed, but Hester and her husband had made +him understand, so far as such a child could do, that there was some +disgrace connected with us; that Fulk had once been in his place, and +only wanted to get it back, and now had it all his own way with his +young lordship's property, and that he owed us neither duty nor +affection, only to his true relative, Lady Hester Perrault. + +The dear boy had maintained stoutly that he did love Ursula and +Jacquey, and that Hester wasn't half so nice, and that he had rather +they bullied him than that she coaxed him! But there was the poison +sown--to rankle and grow and burst out when he was opposed. He had +full faith and trust in Fulk, and accepted his history, owning, indeed, +from a boy, that he had been a horrid little wretch for saying what he +did, and asking whether it had not been a great bore; indeed, he +behaved all the better instead of the worse for some little time, dear +fellow. + +But he was too big and strong to tie to one's apron-string, and his +greatest pleasure was in being with Trevor. I think Trevor's own +influence never did any harm. Poor Joel Lea had trained him well, and +he was a conscientious, good boy, who often hindered Alured from +insubordination; but the attraction to Spinney Lawn was a mischievous +thing--for there was no doubt that the heads of the family would set +him against us if they could. + +So Fulk thought it wiser to send him to school, since he was learning +nothing properly at home, and only getting more disobedient and unruly. + +Immediately Trevor Lea was sent to the same school, to the boys' great +delight. They cared little that Trevor was placed nearly at the top +and Trevorsham at the bottom of the little preparatory school. They +held together just as much, and Alured came home wonderfully improved +and delightfully good, but more than ever inseparable from Trevor. + +In the meantime Francis Dayman had come to pay his sister a visit. He +had made some fortunate speculations, and had come on to be a merchant +of considerable wealth and weight in the Hudson's Bay Company. + +A handsome man of a good deal of strength and force he seemed to be, +and Perrault had certainly been wise in securing his prize before +Hester had such a guardian. + +He was an open, straight-forward man, with a fresh breath of the forest +about him; successful beyond all his hopes, and full of activity. He +took to Fulk, and seemed to have a strong fellow-feeling for us. + +But little had Fulk expected to be made the confidant of his vehement +admiration for Emily Deerhurst. The gentle lady-like girl impressed +the backwoodsman in a wondrous manner. It seemed to him, as if his +wealth would have real value, if he could pour it all out on her. + +And her mother encouraged him. Emily was six years older than when she +had cast off Fulk, and there was a pale changed look about her; and the +rich Canadian, who could buy a baronetcy, and do anything she asked, +tempted Mrs. Deerhurst. + +Though, as Fulk said bitterly, if the stain on his birth was all the +cause of the utter withdrawal, was it not the same with Francis Dayman? +Only in his case it was gilded! + +Dayman knew nothing of this former affair. The world was forgetting +it, and if Hester knew it, she kept it from his knowledge, so he used +to consult Fulk as to what was to be done to please an English lady, +and whether he was too rough for her; and Fulk stood it all. He even +knew when the young lady herself was brought forward--and refused, +gently, sadly, courteously, but unmistakably; and then, when driven +hard by the eager wooing, owned to an old attachment, that never would +permit her to marry! + +What a light there was in Fulk's eyes when he whispered that into my +ears! And yet he had kept his counsel, even though Mr. Dayman told him +that the mother declared it to be a foolish romantic affair of very +early girlhood, that no doubt his perseverance would overthrow. + +"And her persecution!" muttered poor Fulk. But he did enjoy the +confidences in a bitter-sweet fashion. It was justifiable to be a dog +in the manger under the circumstances. + +Mr. Dayman went to London, and Hester was negotiating about a house +where Mrs. Deerhurst and her daughters were to stay with her for a few +weeks. I fancy Mrs. Deerhurst thought that the chance of seeing Farmer +Torwood ride by to market had a bad effect. It was the Easter +holidays, and both boys were at home; always trying to be together, and +we not finding it easy to keep Alured from Spinney Lawn, without such +flat refusals as would have given his sister legitimate cause of +complaint and offence. + +One beautiful spring afternoon, when Alured, to my vexation and vague +uneasiness, had gone over there, I was sowing annuals in the garden and +watching for him at the same time, when, to my surprise, I saw, coming +over the fields from the park, a lady with a quick, timid, yet wearied +step. Had she lost her way, I thought? There was something of the +tame fawn in her movement; and then I remembered the white doe. Yes! +it was Emily! + +The one haunting anxiety of my life broke out--"You haven't come to say +there's anything amiss with my boy?" I cried out. + +"No; oh no! I think he is safe now; but I wanted to tell you, I think +you ought to be warned." + +She was trembling so much that I wanted to bring her in and make her +rest; but she would only sit down on the step of the stile, and there +she whispered it, in this way. + +"You know there's a dreadful scarlet fever at old Brown's." + +"The old man that sells curiosities? No, I did not know it; I'll keep +Trevorsham away," I said, wondering she had come all this way; and then +asking in a fright, "Surely he has not been there?" + +"No; I met him on the road with Lady Hester Perrault, and I told them. +I walked back to Spinney Lawn with them. But," as I began to thank +her, and her voice went lower still, "but--oh, Ursula, Lady Hester knew +it!" + +"Knew it!" + +"Yes, knew it quite well." + +"She was doing it on purpose!" + +"Oh," Emily hid her face in her hands, "I pray God to forgive me if I +am doing a very cruel wicked wrong; but I can't help thinking it. I had +told her only yesterday how bad the fever was in that street. She said +she had forgotten it, and thanked me; but she had not her own boy, +Trevor, with her." + +I was too much frozen with the horror of the thing to speak at first, +and perhaps Emily thought I did not quite believe her, for she said, +under her breath, "And I've heard her talk--talk to mamma--about her +being so certain that Lord Trevorsham could not live, even when he was +past seven years old. They always have said that the first illness +would go to his head and carry him off. And when people do wish things +very much--" And then she grew frightened at herself, and began blaming +herself for the horrible fancy, but saying it haunted her every time +she saw Lord Trevorsham in Lady Hester's sight. That old ballad, "The +wee grovelling doo," would come into her head, and she had felt as if +any harm happened to the child it would be her fault for not having +spoken a word of warning, and this had determined her. + +By this time I had taken it in, and then the first thing I did was to +spring up and ask how she could leave the boy still in the woman's +power, to which she answered that she had walked them back to Spinney +Lawn--a whole mile--and that Lady Hester could not set forth again, now +that Alured had heard the conversation. + +He had been bent on going to buy a tame sea-gull there, as a birthday +present for Trevor; and Emily had lured him off from that, by a promise +of getting one from an old fisherman whom she knew. So there was not +much fear of his running back into the danger, though I should not have +a happy moment till he was in my sight again. + +Then Emily sprang up, saying, she must go. She had walked four miles, +and she must get back as fast as she could. Most likely mamma would +think her at Spinney Lawn. + +But what must not it have cost that timid thing to venture here with +her warning! + +It gave me a double sense of the reality of my boy's, peril, that she +had been excited to it, and she would not hear of coming in to rest; +and when I entreated her to wait till I could get the gig to drive her +part of the way, she held me fast, and insisted, with all the terror of +womanly shamefacedness, that, "he--that Tor--that Mr. Torwood--should +not know." And she sprang up to go home instantly, before he could +guess. + +"Oh, Emily, that is too bad, when nothing would make him so glad." + +"Oh! no, no! he has been used too ill; he can't care for me now, and as +if I should--" + +I don't think poor Emily uttered anything half so coherent as this, at +any rate I understood that she disclaimed the least possibility of his +affection continuing, and felt it an outrage on herself to be where she +could even suppose herself to have voluntarily put herself in his way. + +I thought there was nothing for it but to let her start, hurry after +her with some vehicle, and then call and bring home my boy; but in the +midst of my perplexity and her struggle with her tears, who should +appear on the scene but Fulk himself, driving home the spring cart +wherein, everybody being busy, he had conveyed a pig to a new home. + +I don't know how it was all done or said. My first notion was that he +should be warned of our dear boy's danger, and rescue him before +anything else. I could not get into my head that there was no present +reason for dread, and yet when I had gasped out "Oh, +Fulk--Alured--Fetch him home! Emily came to warn us!" the accusation +began to seem so monstrous and horrible that I could not go on with it +before Emily. She too, perhaps, found it harder to utter to a man than +to a woman, and between the strangeness of speaking to one another +again, and her shyness and his wonder and delight, it seemed to me +unreasonable that poor little Alured's danger was counting for nothing +between them, and I turned from the former reticence to the bereaved +tigress style, and burst out, "And are we to stand talking here while +our boy is in these people's power?" + +Then Fulk did listen to what it was all about; but even then it seemed +to me he would not think half so much of the peril as of what Emily had +done. In truth, I believe all they both wanted was to get out of my +way; but they pacified me by Fulk's undertaking, if Emily did not +object to the cart, to drive her across the park where no one would +meet her, and she could get out only a mile from home, and to call at +Spinney Lawn in returning by the road and take up Alured. + +What a drive that must have been! Fulk had the advantage over Emily in +knowing what poor Mr. Dayman had told him, whereas she, poor child, +only knew that he had been so vilely served that she thought his +affection and esteem had been entirely killed. + +They had it all out in that tax cart, a vehicle Fulk now regards as a +heavenly chariot, and I heard it all afterwards. + +Poor Emily! she had grown a great deal older in those six years. At +eighteen she had implicitly believed in her mother. Mrs. Deerhurst had +been so good all those years of striving not to frighten my father, +that she had been perfection in her daughter's eyes. Emily had +believed with all her heart in her apparent disinterestedness, and her +hopes and sympathy for us were real; and so, when the crash really +came, and she told the poor girl with floods of tears that it was +impossible, and a thing not to be thought of, for a right-minded woman +to unite herself to a man of such birth. And poor Emily, with the +conscious ignorance of eighteen, believed, and was the sort of gentle +creature who could easily be daunted by the terror that her generous +impulses to share the shame and namelessness were unfeminine and wrong. +The utter silence had been the consequence of her mother assuring her, +with authority, that the true kindness was to betray no token of +feeling that could cherish hope where all was hopeless, and that he +would regret her less if she commanded herself and gave him no look. + +It had been terrible, calm self-command, and obedience to abused filial +confidence in her mother's infallibility. + +And then Mrs. Deerhurst had been sinking ever since in her daughter's +esteem, as Emily could not but rise higher from the conscientious +struggle and self-denying submission, and besides grew older and had +more experience; while Mrs. Deerhurst, no doubt, deteriorated in the +foreign wandering life, and all her motives made themselves evident +when she married the younger daughter. + +Emily had thought for herself, and seen that advantage had been taken +of her innocence, and that her betrothed had rights, which, if she had +been older, she would not have been persuaded to ignore. But coming +home, two years later, and meeting my cold eyes and Fulk's ceremonious +bow, and hearing on all parts that he had accepted his position and had +a hard struggle to maintain his two sisters; she, knowing herself to be +portionless, could but suffer, and be still. + +Of course every attempt of her mother's to get her to marry +advantageously, and, even more, Mrs. Deerhurst's devotion to Lady +Hester, tore away more and more of the veil she had tried to keep over +her eyes; and as her youngest sister grew up into bloom, and into the +wish for society, Emily had been allowed more and more to go her own +quiet way in the religious and charitable life of Shinglebay, where she +had peace, if not joy. + +And then came the Dayman affair, when all the old persecution revived +again, and Emily's foremost defence against him, her blushing objection +to his birth, was set aside as a mere prudish fancy of a young girl. + +The gentle Emily had been irate then, and all the more when her mother +tried to cover her inconsistency by alleging that everybody knew of +Lord Torwood's fall, whereas no one knew or cared who Francis Dayman +was, or where he came from. Henceforth Emily's shame at the usage of +Fulk had been double--or rather it turned into indignation. Reports +that he was to marry a rich grazier's daughter had no effect in turning +her in pique to Dayman. She had firmly told her mother that if it were +wrong for her to take the one, it must be equally so to take the other. + +This Mrs. Deerhurst had concealed from poor Mr. Dayman; nor would +Emily's modesty allow her to utter the objection to the man's own face. +So Mrs. Deerhurst encouraged him, and trusted to London reports of the +grazier's daughter, and persevering appeals to that filial sense of +duty which had been strained so much too far. + +And now, how did it stand? + +When I, secure in knowing that Alured was safe at home, thinking it +abominable nonsense in Miss Deerhurst to have bothered about scarlet +fever, Hester herself had said so. When I could hear Fulk's happiness, +and try to analyse it, what did it amount to? + +Why, that they knew they loved one another still, and never meant to +cease. And with what hopes? Alas! the hopes were all for some time or +other. Emily would do nothing in flat disobedience, and there was +little or no hope of her mother's consent to her marrying Farmer +Torwood. She meant to tell her mother thus much, that she had seen +him, and that they loved each other as much as ever; and as Mrs. +Deerhurst had waived the objection to Dayman, it could not hold in the +other case. It would be, in fact, a tacit compact--scarcely an +engagement--with what amount of meeting or correspondence must be left +for duty and principle to decide, but the love that had existed without +aliment for six years might trust now. And "hap what hap," there never +was a happier man than my Fulk that evening. + +He was too joyous not to be universally charitable. Nay, he called it +a blessed fancy of Emily's that brought her here, as it was Emily's, +and had brought him such bliss he could not quite scorn it, but he did +not, _could_ not believe in it as we did. It was culpable carelessness +in Hester, but colonial people had been used to such health that they +did not care about infection. But it was a glorious act of Emily's! +In fact the manly mind could believe nothing so horrible of any woman. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +HUNTING. + + +Emily told Mr. Dayman the whole truth. Poor fellow! he could not face +Fulk again, and went back to Canada. + +No doubt Emily went through a great deal, but we never exactly knew +what. + +Fulk wrote to Mrs. Deerhurst, stating that he hoped in four years' time +to be able to purchase the farm, of which he had the lease, and without +going into the past, asking her sanction to the engagement. + +She sent a cold letter in answer, to desire that the impertinence +should not be repeated. + +And Emily wrote that her mother would not hear of the engagement, and +she knew Fulk would not wish her to deceive or disobey, "And so we must +trust one another still; but how sweet to do that!" + +And when any of us met her there were precious little words and looks, +and Fulk meant to try again after the four years. In the meantime he +was much respected, and had made himself a place of his own. It chafed +Hester to perceive that though she had pulled us down she could not +depress us after the first. She had lowered her position, too, by her +marriage. At first Perrault was on his good behaviour, and made a +favourable impression among the second-rate Shinglebay society Hester +got round her; but as the hopes of the title coming to her diminished, +he kept less within bounds, did not treat her well at home, and took to +racing and gambling. + +I never could get Fulk to share my alarms about Alured, but he did not +think Perrault's society fit for the boy, told Alured so, and forbade +him to go to Spinney Lawn. But though Alured was much improved as to +obedience, it was almost impossible to enforce this command. Hester +had some strange fascination for him. She would fiercely caress him at +times, and he knew she was his sister, and could not see why, when she +was often alone, he should not be with her. The passion for Trevor was +in full force, too, and the boys could not be content only to meet at +the farm. We tried sending Alured to make visits from home in the +holidays, but he did not like it, and he was not happy; his heart was +with his home, and with Trevor. We tried having a tutor for the spring +holidays before he went to Eton, but it did not answer. He was not a +sensible man, did not like dining in the keeping-room with the +household, and though he did it, he showed that he thought it a +condescension. + +Moreover, instead of attending to Alured, he was always trying to flirt +with Jaquetta, infinitely disturbing Arthur Cradock's peace; and the +end of it was, that Alured was a great deal more left to his own +devices than ever he had been before, and exasperated besides. + +He was in that mood, when one day, as he was riding along the lanes, he +met Perrault and Trevor coming in from hunting. + +Alured had a very pretty pony, but he was growing rather large for it, +and Fulk had promised that, if he worked well at Eton, he should have a +lovely little Arab, that was being trained by a dealer he knew; and +that another year, Fulk himself would go out hunting with him. + +Perrault began to pity him for having missed the run. Why did not his +brother take him out? Fulk's old mare was a sort of elephant, and it +was not convenient to get another horse just then. That Alured knew +and explained, but he was pitied the more for being kept back, and +Perrault ended by saying that if on the next hunting day he could meet +them at the corner of the park, a capital mount should be there for him. + +The hour was attainable if Alured made haste with his studies, and he +accepted gladly, and without compunction. Fulk had never in so many +words forbidden him, and besides, Fulk had delegated his authority to +the hateful tutor. + +But the next morning, before Alured was up Trevor was in his bedroom. +"You won't go, Trevorsham?" + +"Yes, I shall; I'm not such a muff as to stay for that fellow." + +But I need not try to tell what passed, as of course I did not hear it; +I never so much as knew of it till long after, only Trevorsham was +determined, and Trevor tried all round the due arguments of principle, +honour, and duty; but Alured had worked up a schoolboy +self-justification on all points, and besides had the stronghold of "I +will," and "I don't care." + +Then Trevor told him, under his breath, he was sure it was not a safe +horse. But my high-spirited boy laughed this to scorn. "And perhaps +he'll play you some trick," added Trevor. But Trevorsham was still +undaunted in his self-will, till Trevor resolutely announced his +determination, if nothing else would stop it, of going at once to Fulk, +and informing him. + +The boy endured all the rage and scorn that a threat so contrary to all +schoolboy codes of honour and friendship might deserve. I believe +Alured struck him, but at any rate Trevor Lea gained his point, though +at the cost of a desperate quarrel. + +Alured held aloof and sulked at him for the remaining fortnight at +home, and only vouchsafed the explanation to us that "Lea was a horrid +little sneak, and he had done with him." + +They did not make it up till they met in the same house at Eton, and +then, though Trevor was placed far above Alured, they became as +friendly as ever. In fact, I believe, Alured, having imprudently +denominated himself by his full title, was having it kicked out of him, +when the fortunate possessor of the monosyllabic name came and stood by +him and made common cause, to the entire renewing of love. + +Poor Trevor! his was a dreary home. His mother loved him passionately, +but she was an anxious, worn, disappointed woman, always craving, +restless and expectant of something, and Perrault was always tormenting +her for money. He was deeply in debt, and though he could not touch +the bulk of her fortune--neither, indeed, could she, as it was conveyed +to trustees--he was always demanding money of her, and bullying her; +while matters grew worse and worse, and they were in danger of having +to let Spinney Lawn and go to live abroad. + +As to keeping Trevor at Eton that was becoming impossible. At +Christmas the tutor consulted Fulk about how he should get Lea's bills +paid, and intimated that he must not return unless this were done. + +And poor Trevor himself had little comfort except with us. We +encouraged him to come to us, for we had all come to have a very real +love for the dear lad himself, and we saw he was unhappy at home; +besides that, it was the only way of keeping Alured contented. + +Trevor had entirely left off inviting Alured to Spinney Lawn. Partly, +he was too gentlemanly and good a boy not to be ashamed of the men who +hung about the stables; and besides, we now perceive that the same +awful impression that was on Emily Deerhurst was upon him, and that he +had a sense that Trevorsham was regarded in a manner that made his +presence there a peril. + +He was but a boy, and it was an undefined horror, and he never breathed +a word of it; but oh, there was a weight on that young brow, an anxious +look about the face, and though now and then he would be all joy and +fun, still there was the older, more sorrowful look about him. + +We thought he was grieving at not going back to Eton, and Fulk was +living in hopes of an answer to the letter he had written to Francis +Dayman about it, but that was not all. One day--Christmas Eve it +was--Mr. Cradock, on coming into the church to look at the holly +wreaths, found Trevor kneeling on his father's gravestone in the +pavement, sobbing as if his heart was breaking, and heard between the +sobs a broken prayer about "Forgive"--"don't let them do it"--"turn +mother's heart." + +Then Mr. Cradock went out of hearing, but he waited for the boy +outside, and asked if he could do anything for him. + +"No." Trevor shook his head, thanked him, and grew reserved. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +DUCK SHOOTING. + + +Alured's thirteenth birthday was on the 10th of January, and he had +extracted a promise from Fulk, to take him duck-shooting to the mouth +of our little river. + +Nothing can be prettier than our tide river by day, with the retreating +banks overhung with trees, the long-legged herons standing in the firs, +looking like toys in a German box; while the breadth of blue water +reflects the trees that bend down to it. + +But, on a winter's night, to creep in perfect silence and lie still +under an overhanging bank, not daring to make a sound, till you could +get a shot at the ducks disporting themselves in the moonlight, on the +frozen mud on the banks! Such an occupation could only be endurable +under the name of sport. + +However, Fulk and Bertram had had their time, and now Alured was having +the infection in his turn; but Trevor was driven over to spend the day, +much mortified that he had a bad broken chilblain, which made his boots +unwearable, and it was the more disappointing, that it was a very hard +frost, and there was a report that some wild swans had been seen on the +river. + +But in the course of the day Jaquetta routed out a pair of India rubber +boots which, with worsted stockings beneath, did not press the +chilblains at all, and after having spent all the day in snow-balling +and building forts, Trevor declared himself far from lame, and resolved +not to lose the fun. He had not come equipped, so Alured put him into +an old grey coat and cap of his own, and merrily they started in the +frosty moonlight, with dashes of snow lying under the hedges, and +everything intensely light. Fulk grumbling in fun at being dragged +away from his warm fire, and pretending to be grown old, the boys +shouting to one another full of glee, all the dogs in the yard +clamouring because only the wise old retriever, Captain, was allowed to +be of the party; Arthur Cradock making ridiculous mistakes on purpose +between the uncle and nephew, Trevorsham and Sham Trevor, as he called +them. + +Alas! Nay, shall I say alas, or only be thankful? + +They had been gone some time when we heard a rapid tread coming towards +the porch. Something in the very sound thrilled Jaquetta and me at +once with dismay. We darted out, and saw Brand, the head gamekeeper in +the park. + +"Never fear, my lady; thank God," he said, "my lord is quite safe. It +is poor Master Lea who is hurt; and Mr. Torwood sent me up for some +brandy, and a mattress, and a lantern, and some cloths." + +That assured us that he was alive, and we ran to fulfil the request in +the utmost haste, without asking further questions, and sending off +Sisson to ride for the poor mother, and to go on to Shinglebay for the +doctor, though, to our comfort, we knew that Arthur had almost finished +his surgical education, and was sure to know what was to be done. + +"A stray shot," we said again and again to each other; and we called +Nurse Rowe, and made up a bed in Alured's old nursery, and lighted a +fire, and were all ready, with hearts beating heavy with suspense +before the steps came back--my poor Alured first, as we held the door +open. How pale his face looked! and his brows were drawn with horror, +and his steps dragging, saying not a word, but trembling, as he came +and held by me, with one hand on my waist, while Fulk and Sisson +carried in the mattress, Arthur Cradock at the side, and Perrault, who +had joined them, walking behind with the flask. + +Dear Trevor lay white with sobbing breath and closed eyes, the cloths +and mattress soaked through and through with blood. They put him down +on the keeping-room table, and Arthur poured more brandy into his mouth. + +I said something of the room being ready but Arthur said very low "He +is dying--internal bleeding;" and when Jaquetta asked "Can nothing be +done?" he answered, "Nothing but to leave him still." + +"Trevorsham," murmured the feeble voice, and Alured was close to him; +"Ally! you are all right!" and then again, as Alured assured him he +would be better-- "No, I shan't; I'm so glad it wasn't you. I always +thought he'd do it some day, and now you're quite safe, I want to thank +God." + +We did not understand those words then; we did soon. + +The weak voice rambled on, "to thank God; but oh, it hurts so--I +can't--I will when I get there." Then presently "Mother!" + +"She'll come very soon," said Alured. + +"Mother! oh, mother! Trevorsham, don't let them know. O Trev, promise, +promise!" + +"Promise what? I promise, whatever it is! Only tell me," entreated +Alured. + +"Take care of her--of mother. Don't let--" and then his eyes met +Perrault's, and a shudder came all over him, which brought the end +nearer; and all another spoonful of brandy could do was to enable him +to say something in Alured's ear, and then a broken word or +two--"forgive--glad--pray;" and when we all knelt and Fulk did say the +Lord's Prayer, and a verse or two more, there was a peaceful loving +look at Fulk and Jaquetta and me, and then the whisper of the Name that +is above every name, as a glad brightness came over the face, and the +eyes looked upwards, and so grew set in their gaze, and there was the +sound one never can forget. + +Nurse Rowe laid her hand on Alured's neck, as he knelt with his head +close to Trevor's. Fulk and I looked at each other, and we knew that +all was over. + +They had tried in vain to check the bleeding. No one could have done +more than Arthur had done, but a main artery had been injured, and +nothing could have saved him. He had said nothing after the first cry, +except when he saw Alured's grief. "Never mind; I'm glad it was not +you." And once or twice, as they carried him home, he had begged to be +put down, though they durst not attend to the entreaty, and Arthur did +not think he had suffered much pain. + +It jarred that just as we would have knelt for one silent prayer, +Perrault's voice broke on us. "Ah! poor boy, it is better than if it +lasted longer! I saw that half-witted fellow, Billy Blake about. So I +don't wonder at anything; but of course it was a mere accident, and I +shall not press it." + +Scarcely hearing him, I had joined Mrs. Rowe in the endeavour to detach +Alured from his dear companion, when there was poor Hester among us, +with open horror-stricken eyes, and a wild, frightful shriek as she +leapt forward; and no words can describe the misery of her voice as she +called on her boy to look at her, and speak to her--gathering him into +her bosom with a passionate, desperate clasp, that seemed almost an +outrage on the calm awful stillness of the innocent child; and Alured +involuntarily cried, "Oh, don't," while Fulk spoke to her kindly; but +just then she saw her husband, and sprang on her feet, her eyes +flashing, her hands stretched out, while she screamed out, "You here? +You dare to come here? You, who killed him!" Fulk caught her arm, +saying, "Hush! Hester; come away. It was a lamentable accident, but--" + +"Oh!" the laugh she gave was the most horrible thing I ever heard. +"Accident! I tell you it has been his one thought to make accidents for +Trevorsham! And he hated my child--my dear, noble, beautiful, only +one! He made him miserable, and murdered him at last!" + +She gave another passionate kiss to the cheeks, and then just as I +hoped she was going to let us lead her away, she darted from us, rushed +past Mr. Cradock who was entering the porch, and in another moment, he +hurrying after her, saw her rush down the steep grassy slope, and fling +herself into the swollen rapid stream. + +His shout brought them all out, and Fulk found him too in the river, +holding her, and struggling with the stream, which winter had made full +and violent, and the black darkness of the shadows made it hard to find +any landing place, and he was nearly swept away before it was possible +to get them out of the river; and Fulk was as completely drenched as he +was when they brought poor Hester, quite unconscious, up to the house, +and brought her to the room that had been prepared for her son; and +there Dr. Brown and Arthur gave us plenty to do in filling hot-water +baths and warming flannels, or rubbing the icy hands and feet. Only +that constant need of exertion could have borne us through the horror +of it all. But it was not over yet. There was a call of "Ursula," and +as I ran down, I found Fulk standing at the bottom of the stairs with +Alured in his arms looking like death! + +"I found him on the parlour sofa, the little window and the escritoire +open!" Fulk said breathlessly, "the villain!" + +"I'm not hurt," said dear Alured's voice, faintly, but reassuringly, +"Oh! put me down, Fulk." + +We did put him down on the floor--there was no other place--with his +head on my lap, and I found strange voices asking him what Perrault had +done to him. "Oh! nothing! 'twasn't that. Yes, he's gone, out by the +window." + +He swallowed some wine and then sat up, leaning against me as I sat at +the bottom of the stairs, quite himself again, and assuring us that he +was not hurt; Perrault never touched him--"Threatened you, then," said +Fulk. + +"No," said Alured, as if he hadn't spirit to be indignant; "I meant him +to get off." + +"Lord Trevorsham!" cried a voice in great displeasure, and I saw that +Mr. Halsted, the nearest magistrate, was standing over us. + +"He told me--Trevor did"--said Alured. + +"Told you to assist the murderer to escape!" exclaimed Mr. Halsted. + +Alured let his head fall back, and would not answer, and Fulk said, +"There is no need for him to speak at present, is there? The constable +and the rest are gone after Perrault, but I do not yet know what has +directed the suspicion against him." + +And then at the stair foot, for there was no other place to go to, we +came to an understanding, the two gentlemen and Brand the keeper +standing, and I seated on the step with my boy lying against me. I +could not trust him out of my sight, nor, indeed, was he fit to be left. + +It seems that Brand had been uneasy about the number of shooters whom +the report of the swans had attracted; and though the bank of the river +was not Trevorsham ground, he had kept along on the border of the +covers higher up the hill, to guard his hares and pheasants. + +Thus he had seen everything distinctly in the moonlight against the +snowy bank below; and he had observed one figure in particular, moving +stealthily along, in a parallel line with that which he knew our party +would take, though they were in shadow, and he could not see them. + +Suddenly, a chance shot fired somewhere made all the ducks fly up. A +head and shoulders that Brand took for his young lord's, appeared +beyond the shadow, beside Fulk's; and, at the same moment, he saw the +man whom he had been watching level his gun from behind, and fire. Then +came the cry, and Brand running down in horror himself, was amazed to +see this person doing the same, and when they came up with the group, +he recognised Perrault; and found, at the same time, that Trevor was +the sufferer, and that Lord Trevorsham was safe. He then would have +thought it an accident, but for Perrault's own needless wonder, whence +the shot came, and that same remark, that Billy Blake, the half-witted +son of a farmer, was about that night. + +Brand, a shrewd fellow, restrained his reply, that Mr. Perrault knew +most about it himself. He saw that the most pressing need was to obey +Fulk in fetching necessaries from our house, and that Perrault meant to +disarm suspicion by treating it as an accident, so he thought it best +to go off to a magistrate with his story, before giving any alarm; +feeling certain, as he said, that the shot had been meant for the Earl; +as indeed, Perrault's first exclamation on coming up showed that he too +had expected to find Trevorsham the wounded one. + +Mr. Halsted had sent for the constable and came at once, though even +then inclined to doubt whether Brand had not imputed accident to +malice. But Perrault's flight had settled that question. During the +confusion, while Hester was being carried upstairs, the miscreant had +the opportunity of speaking to the child. + +"Drowned! No, she is not drowned; but she may be the other thing if +you don't get me off! What, don't you understand? Let the law lay a +finger on me, and what is to hinder me from telling how your sweet +sister has been plotting to get you--yes, you, out of the way of her +darling. No, you needn't fear, there's nothing to get by it now. Lucky +for you you brought the poor boy out, when I thought him safe by the +fire nursing his chilblain. But mind this, if I am arrested, all the +story shall come out. I'll not swing alone. If I fired, she pointed +the gun! And you may judge if that was what poor Trevor meant by his +mutterings to you about 'mother.'" + +"But what do you want?" Alured asked. He had backed up against the +wall; he was past being frightened, but he felt numb and sick with +horror, and ready to do anything to get the wretch out of his sight. + +"I want a clear way out of the house and all the cash you can get +together. What! no more than that? I'd not be a lord to be kept so +short. Find me some more." + +Alured knew I should forgive him, and he took my key from my basket, +unlocked the escritoire, and gave him my purse of household money, +undid the shutters, and helped Perrault to squeeze himself through the +little parlour window; and then, as he said, something came over him, +and he just reached the sofa, and knew no more. + +He did not tell all this about Hester before Mr. Halsted; only when +Fulk, finding how shaken he was, had carried him upstairs, and we had +taken him to his room, he asked anxiously whether anyone had heard +Hester say that dreadful thing, and added, "Then if Mr. Perrault gets +away no one will know--about her." + +"Was that why you helped him?" we asked. + +"Trevor told me to take care of her," he said; and then he told us of +Perrault's arguments, but we ought not to have let him talk of them +that night, for it brought back the shuddering and sobbing, and the +horror seemed to come upon him, so that there was no soothing him or +getting him calm till the doctor mixed an anodyne draught; and let it +go as it would with Hester, I never left my boy till I had crooned him +to sleep, as in the old times. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +TREVOR'S LEGACY. + + +Jaquetta bore the brunt of that night, and showed the stuff she was +made of, for poor Hester had only revived to fall into a most frightful +state of delirium, raving and struggling so that the doctor and Arthur +could hardly hold her. + +So it went on for hours, Alured the only creature asleep in the house, +and we not daring to send for any help from without, poor Hester's +exclamations were so dreadful. + +Poor Alured! his waking was sad enough! He had loved Trevor with all +his heart, and the wonder that anyone could be so wicked oppressed him +almost as much as the grief. The remnants of the opiate hung upon him, +too, and he lay about all day, hardly rousing himself to speak or look, +but giddily and drowsy. + +Not till the inquest was it perceived how cleverly Perrault had taken +his measures, so that had he not made the mistake between the two boys, +he would scarcely have been suspected: certainly not but for Brand's +having watched him. + +The report of the wild swans was traced to him. No doubt it was as an +excuse for a heavier charge, for poor Trevor was wounded with shot that +would not have been used merely for ducks, and besides, the other +shooters it attracted would be likely to make detection less easy. +Indeed, Fulk had seen that there were enough men about to spoil their +sport, and but for the boys' eagerness, would have turned back. + +Moreover it was proved that Perrault had in the course of the morning +met Billy Blake, and asked him if he meant to bag the swan--if he +followed the young lord's party and fired when they did, he would be +sure to bring something down. He did not know that the Blakes never +let the poor fellow load his old gun with anything but powder. + +Then his joining the horrified group, as if he had been merely after +the ducks, and had been attracted by the cry, had entirely deceived us; +and but for Hester's accusation, Brand's evidence, and his own flight, +together with all the past, might have continued to do so. + +He had gone to his own house, as it afterwards turned out, entered so +quietly that the listening, watching servants never heard him, +collected all the valuables he could easily carry away, changed his +dress, and gone off before the search had followed him thither. + +A verdict of wilful murder was returned against him at the inquest, but +it is very doubtful whether he could have been convicted of anything +but manslaughter; for even if the intention could have been proved, +without his wife, whose evidence was inadmissible, the malice was not +directed against his victim, but against Trevorsham. We could not but +feel it a relief day by day, that nothing was heard of him; for who +could tell what disclosures there might be about the poor thing who +lay, delirious, needing perpetual watchfulness. Arthur devoted himself +to the care of her, and never left us, or I do not see how we could +have gone through it all. + +Alured was well again, but inert and crushed, and heartless about doing +anything, except that he walked over to Spinney Lawn, and brought home +Trevor's dog, to which he gave himself up all day, and insisted on +having it in his room at night. + +The burial was in the vault--nobody attended but Fulk and Alured, not +even Arthur, for though the poor mother was not aware of what was going +on, it was such a dreadful day with her, that he durst not leave us +alone to the watch. It was enough to break one's heart to stand by the +window and hear her wandering on about her Trevor coming to his place, +and not being kept from his position; while we watched the little +coffin carried across the field by the labouring men, with those two +walking after it. Our boy's first funeral was that of the friend who +had died in his stead. + +We were glad to send him back to Eton, out of the sound of his poor +sister's voice; though he went off very mournfully, declaring that he +should be even more wretched there without Trevor than he was at home; +and that he never should do any good without him. But there he was +wrong, I am thankful to say. Dear Trevor was more a guide to him dead +than living. Trevor's chief Eton friend, young Maitland, a good, +high-principled, clever boy, a little older, who had valued him for +what he was, while passing Alured by as a foolish, idle little swell, +took pity upon him in the grief and dejection of his loss--did for him +all and more than Trevor could do, and has been the friend and blessing +of his life, aiding the depth and earnestness that seemed to pass into +our dear child as he hung over the dying lad. Yes, Trevor Lea and John +Maitland did for our Trevorsham what all our love and care had never +been able to do. + +Meantime Hester's illness took its course. The chill of that icy water +had done great harm, and there was much inflammation at first, leaving +such oppression of breath that permanent injury to the lungs was +expected, and therefore it was all the sadder to see the dumb despair +with which she returned to understanding, I can hardly say to memory, +for I believe she had never lost it for a moment. + +Hopeless, heedless, reckless, speechless, she was a passive weight, +lying or sitting, eating or drinking as she was bidden, but not making +any manifestation of preference or dislike, save that she turned +rigidly and sullenly away from any attempt to read prayers to her. + +She asked no questions, attempted no employment, but seemed to care for +nothing, and for weeks uttering nothing but a "yes," "no," or a +mechanical "thank you." Jaquetta tried to caress her, by force of +nursing and pity. Jaquetta really had come to a warm tender love for +her, but she sullenly pushed away the sweet face, and turned aside. + +We never ventured to leave her alone, and this, after a time, began to +vex her. She bade us go down once or twice, and tried to send away +Mrs. Rowe; and at last, when she found it was never permitted, she +broke out angrily one day, "You are very absurd to take so much trouble +to hinder what cannot make any difference." + +It made one's blood run cold, and yet it was a relief that the silence +was broken. I can't tell what I said, only I implored her not to think +so, and told her that her having been rescued was a sign that Heaven +would have her repent and come back, but she laughed that horrible +laugh. "Do you think I repent?" she said; "No, only that I left it to +that fool! I should have made no mistakes." + +I was too much horrified to do anything but hide my eyes and pray. I +thought I did not do so obviously, but Hester saw or guessed, stamped +at me, and said, "Don't; I will not have it done. It is mockery!" + +"Happily you cannot prevent our doing that, my poor Lady Hester," I +said. + +"All I wish you to do is, what you would do if you had a spark of +natural feeling." + +"What?" I asked, bewildered at this apparent accusation of unkindness. + +"Leave me to myself. Send me from your door. Not oppress me with this +ridiculous burthensome care and attention, all out of the family pride +you still keep up in the Trevors!" she sneered. + +"No, Hester. Sister Hester, will you not believe it is love?" I said, +thinking that if she would believe that we loved her and forgave her, +it might help her to believe that her Father above did. I had never +called her by her name alone before; but I thought it might draw her +nearer; but it made her only fiercer. + +"Nonsense," she said, "I know better." + +And then she fell into the same deadly gloom; but I think she had +almost a wild animal's longing for solitude; for she made a solemn +promise not to attempt her life if we would only leave her alone! + +And we did, though we took care someone was within hearing; for she was +still very weak, and we had not a bell in the house, except a little +hand one on the table. + +So the Easter holidays drew on, and she was still far too weak and +unwell for any thought of moving her; so that we were in trouble about +Alured's holidays, not liking him to come home to a house of illness +that would renew his sorrow, and advising him to accept some +invitations from his schoolfellows; but he wrote that he particularly +wished to come home--he could not bear to be away, and Maitland wanted +to see the place and know all about dear Lea, so might he bring him +home? + +We were only too glad to consent, and I had gone to sleep with +Jaquetta, so as to make room--feeling very happy over the best school +report of our boy we had ever had, though not the best we were to have. + +He spent two or three days at Mr. Maitland's in London, and then he and +his friend, John, came on here. + +The railway did not come within twenty miles then, and they had to post +from it in flies. How delightful it was to see the tall hat and wide +white collar, as he stood up in the open fly, signalling to us, and +pointing us out to his friend. Only, what must it have been to the +poor sufferer in the room above? + +Oh! did not one's heart go out in prayer for her! + +Out jumped Alured among all of us, and all the dogs at the garden gate; +and the first thing, after his kiss to us all, was to turn to the fly +and take out a flower-pot with a beautiful delicate forced rose in it. + +"Where's Hester?" he said. + +"My dear child, she has not left her room yet." + +"She is well enough for me to take this to her, I suppose?" he said. +"He always did get some flower like this to bring home to her, you +know, she liked them so much." + +It was just his one idea that Trevor had told him to take his place to +her. We looked doubtfully at each other, but Fulk quietly said, "Yes, +you may go." And added, as the boy went off, "It can do no harm to her +in the end, poor thing!" + +"To her, no; that was not my fear." + +There was Alured, almost exactly what Trevor had been when last she saw +him, with his bright sweet honest face over the rose, running up the +stairs, knocking, and coming in with his boyish, "Good morning, Hester, +I do hope you are better;" and bending down with his fresh brotherly +kiss on her poor hot forehead, "I've got this rose for you, the bud +will be out in a day or two." + +If ever there was a modern version of St. Dorothy's roses it was there. + +That boy's kiss and his gift touched the place in her heart. She +caught him passionately in her arms, and held him till he almost lost +breath, and then she held him off from her as vehemently. + +"Boy--Trevorsham--what do you come to me for?" + +"He told me," said Alured, half dismayed. "Besides, you are my sister." + +"Sister, indeed! Don't you know we would have killed you?" + +"Never mind that," said Alured, with an odd sort of readiness. "You +are my sister all the same, and oh--if you would let me try to be a +little bit of Trevor to you, though I know I can't--" + +"You--who must hate me?" + +"No," said he, "I always did like you, Hester; and I've been thinking +about you all the half--whenever I thought of him." + +And as the tears came into the boy's eyes, the blessed weeping came at +last to Hester. + +He thought he had done her harm, for she cried till she was absolutely +spent, sick, faint and weak as a child. + +But she was like a child, and when her head was on the pillow she +begged for Trevorsham to wish her good-night. I think she tried to +fancy his kiss was Trevor's. + +Any way the bitter black despair was gone from that time. She believed +in and accepted his kindness like a sort of after glow from Trevor's +love. Perhaps it did her the more good that after all he was only a +boy, sometimes forgot her, and sometimes hurried after his own +concerns, so that there was more excitement in it than if it had been +the steady certain tenderness of an older person on which she could +reckon. + +She certainly cared for no one like Trevorsham. She even came +downstairs that she might see him more constantly, and while he was at +home, she seemed to think of no one else. But she had softened to us +all, and accepted us as her belongings, in a matter-of-course kind of +way. Only when he was gone did she one day say in a heavy dreary tone, +that she must soon be leaving us. + +But I told her, as we had agreed, that she was very far from well +enough to go away alone; for indeed, it was true that disease of the +lungs had set in, and to send her away to languish and die alone was +not to be thought of. + +My answer made her look up to me, and say, "I don't see why you should +all be so good to me! Do you know how I have hated you?" + +I could not help smiling a little at that, it had so little to do with +the matter; but I bent down and kissed her, the first time I had ever +done so. + +"I don't understand it," she said, and then pushing me away suddenly. +"No! you cannot know, that I--I--I was the first to devise mischief +against that boy. Perrault would never have thought of it, but for me! +Now, you see whom you are harbouring! Perhaps, you thought it all +Perrault's doing." + +"No, we did not," I said. + +"And you still cherish me! I--who drove you from your home and rank, +and came from wishing the death of your darling, to contriving it!" + +I told her we knew it. And at last, after a long, long silence, she +looked up from her joined hands, and said, "If I may only see my child +again, even from the other side of the great gulf, I would be ready for +any torment! It would be no torment to me, so I saw him! Do you think +I shall be allowed, Ursula?" + +How I longed for more power, more words to tell her how infinitely more +mercy there was than she thought of! I don't think she took it in +then, but the beginning was made, and she turned away no more from what +she looked on at first as a means of bringing her to her boy, but +by-and-by became even more to her. + +Gradually she told how the whole history had come about. She had +thought nothing of the discovery of her birth till her boy was born, +but from that time the one thought of seeing him in the rank she +thought his due had eaten into her heart. She had loved her husband +before, but his resistance had chafed her, and gradually she felt it an +injustice and cruelty, and her love and respect withered away, till she +regarded him as an obstacle. And when she had spent her labour on the +voyage, and obtained recognition from her father--behold! Alured's +existence deprived her of the prize almost within her grasp. + +A settled desire for the poor baby's death was the consequence, kept up +by the continued reports of his danger. Till that time she had prayed. +Then a sense that Heaven was unjust to her and her boy filled her with +grim rebellion, and she prayed no more; and Perrault, by his constant +return to the subject and speculations on it, kept her mind on it far +more. + +But Alured lived, and every time she saw him she half hated him, half +loved him; hated him as standing in her son's light, loved him because +she could not help loving Trevor's shadow. + +That day, when Emily met them--it had been a sudden impulse--Alured had +been talking to her about his plans for Trevor's birthday; and, as he +spoke of that street, the wild thought came over her how easily a fever +might yet sweep him away. And yet she says, all down the street, she +was trying to persuade herself to forget Emily's warning, and to +disbelieve in the infection. After all, she thought, even if she had +not met Emily, she should have made some excuse for turning back, such +a pitiful thought came of the fair, fresh face flushing and dying. + +But it was prevented, only it left fruits; for Perrault had heard what +passed between her and Trevorsham. "Did you take him to the shop?" he +asked. And when she mentioned Miss Deerhurst's reminder, he said, "Ah! +that game wants skill and coolness to carry it out." + +She says that was almost all that passed in so many words; but from +that time she never doubted that Perrault would take any opportunity of +occasioning danger to Trevorsham; and, strange to say, she lived in a +continued agony, half of hope, half of terror and grief and pity, her +longing for Trevor's promotion, balanced by the thought of the grief he +would suffer for his friend. Any time those five years she told me she +thought that had she seen Perrault hurting him, she should have rushed +between to save him; and yet in other moods, when she planned for her +son, she would herself have done anything to sweep Alured from his path. + +And the frequent discussion with Perrault of plans depending on the +possession of the Trevorsham property, kept the consciousness of his +purpose before her, and as debt and desperation grew, she was more and +more sure of it. + +That last day, when Trevor had been driven away, lamenting his +inability to go out duck shooting, Perrault had quietly said in the +late evening, "I shall take a turn in the salt marshes +to-night--opportunities may offer." + +The wretch! Fulk thinks he said so to implicate her. + +At any rate it left her shuddering with dread and remorse, yet half +triumphant at the notion of putting an end to Fulk's power over the +estate, and of installing her son as heir of Trevorsham. + +She had no fears for him, she trusted to his lame foot to detain him, +and said to herself that if it was to be, he would be spared the sight. +She was growing jealous of his love for Alured and of us, and had a +fierce glad hope of getting him more to herself. + +And then! oh! poor Hester! + +No wonder her desire was to be + + Anywhere, anywhere, + Out of the world. + + +But out of all the anguish, the remorse, the despair, repentance grew +at last. Love seemed to open the heart to it. The sense of infinite +redeeming love penetrated at last, and trust in pardon, and with pardon +came peace. Peace grew on her, through increasing self-condemnation, +and bearing her up as the bodily powers failed more and more. + +There is little more to say. She was a dear and precious charge to us, +and as she grew weaker, she also became more cheerful! and even that +terrible, broken-hearted sense of bereavement calmed. + +She found out about Jaquetta and Arthur, and took great interest in his +arrangements for getting a partnership at Shinglebay. + +"And Hester," said Jaquetta, "it is so lucky for me that I came down +from being a fine lady. I might never have known Arthur; and if I had, +what an absurd creature I should have been as a poor man's wife!" + +As to the Deerhursts, the mother sent a servant once or twice to +inquire, but never came herself to see her dear friend; and Miss Prior +took care to tell us that there were horrid whispers about, that Hester +had known, and if not, Mrs. Deerhurst could not have on her visiting +list the wife of a man with a warrant out against him! She thought it +very unfeeling in us to harbour her. + +But Emily came. Hester had a great longing to thank her for checking +her on that walk to the scarlet-fever place, and asked Jaquetta one day +to write to her and beg her to come to see a dying woman. + +Emily showed the note to her mother, and did not ask leave. The white +doe had become a much more valiant animal. + +Hester had liked Emily even while Emily shrank from her, and she now +realized what she had inflicted upon her and Fulk. + +She asked Emily's pardon for it, as she had asked Fulk's, and said that +when she was gone she hoped all would come right. Of course the old +position could not be restored, but she knew now why Joel Lea had such +an instinct against it. + +"I feel," she once said, "as if Satan had offered me all this for my +soul, and I had taken the bargain. Aye, and if God's providence had +allowed our wicked purpose, he would have had it too. My husband! he +prayed for me! and my boy did too." + +She always called Joel Lea "my husband" now, and thought and talked +much of their early love and his warnings. I think the way she had +saddened his later years grieved her as much as anything, and all her +affection seemed revived. + +She lingered on, never leaving the house indeed, but not much worse, +till the year had come round again, and we loved her more each day we +nursed her. And when the end came suddenly at last, we mourned as for +a dear sister. + +Perrault wrote once--a threatening, swaggering letter from America, +demanding hush-money. It did not come till she was too ill to open +it--only in the last week before her death, and it was left till we +settled her affairs. + +Then Fulk wrote and told him of the verdict against him, and +recommended him to let himself be heard of no more. And he took the +advice. + +We found that dear Hester had left all the fortune, 30,000 pounds, +which had been settled on herself and Trevor, to be divided equally +between us three. Nor had we any scruple in profiting by it. + +Trevorsham had enough, and it was what my father would have given us if +he could. + +It was enough to make Jaquetta and her young Dr. Cradock settle down +happily and prosperously on the practice they bought. + +And enough too, together with Emily's strong quiet determination, to +make Mrs. Deerhurst withdraw her opposition. Daughters of twenty-nine +years old may get their own way. + +Moreover a drawing-room and dining-room were built on to Skimping's +Lawn, though Alured declares they have spoilt the place, and nothing +ever was so jolly as the keeping-room. + +We had a beautiful double wedding in the summer, in our old church, and +since that I have come to make the old Hall homelike to my boy in the +holidays. + +We are very happy together when he comes home, and fills the house with +his young friends; and if it feels too large and empty for me in his +absence, I can always walk down for a happy afternoon with Emily, or go +and make a longer visit to Jaquetta. + +And I don't think, as a leader of the fashion, she would have been half +so happy as the motherly, active, ready-handed doctor's wife. + +But best of all to me, are those quiet moments when Alured's earnest +spirit shows itself, and he talks out what is in his heart; that it is +a great responsibility to stand in the place such a man as Fulk would +have had--yes--and to have been saved at the cost of Trevor's life. + +I believe the pure, calm remembrance of Trevor Lea's life will be his +guiding star, and that he will be worthy of it. + + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Lady Hester, or Ursula's Narrative, by +Charlotte M. 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Yonge + +Release Date: November, 2003 [Etext #4659] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on February 23, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Lady Hester or, Ursula's Narrative +by Charlotte M. Yonge +******This file should be named ldyhs10.txt or ldyhs10.zip****** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, ldyhs11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, ldyhs10a.txt + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +The "legal small print" and other information about this book +may now be found at the end of this file. Please read this +important information, as it gives you specific rights and +tells you about restrictions in how the file may be used. + +*** +This Etext was prepared by Sandra Laythorpe, laythorpe@tiscali.co.uk. + +A web page about Charlotte M Yonge will be found at +www.menorot.com/cmyonge.htm. + + + + + +LADY HESTER; + +OR, + +URSULA'S NARRATIVE. + + + + +CONTENTS. + +CHAPTER I. SAULT ST. PIERRE + +CHAPTER II. TREVORSHAM + +CHAPTER III. THE PEERAGE CASE + +CHAPTER IV. SKIMPING'S FARM + +CHAPTER V. SPINNEY LAWN + +CHAPTER VI. THE WHITE DOE'S WARNING + +CHAPTER VII. HUNTING + +CHAPTER VIII. DUCK SHOOTING + +CHAPTER IX. TREVOR'S LEGACY + + + + + +CHAPTER I. SAULT ST. PIERRE. + + + +I write this by desire of my brothers and sisters, that if any +reports of our strange family history should come down to after +generations the thing may be properly understood. + +The old times at Trevorsham seem to me so remote, that I can hardly +believe that we are the same who were so happy then. Nay, Jaquetta +laughs, and declares that it is not possible to be happier than we +have been since, and Fulk would have me remember that all was not +always smooth even in those days. + +Perhaps not--for him, at least, dear fellow, in those latter times; +but when I think of the old home, the worst troubles that rise before +me are those of the back-board and the stocks, French in the school- +room, and Miss Simmonds' "Lady Ursula, think of your position!" + +And as to Jaquetta, she was born under a more benignant star. Nobody +could have put a back-board on her any more than on a kitten. + +Our mother had died (oh! how happily for herself!) when Jaquetta was +a baby, and Miss Simmonds most carefully ruled not only over us, but +over Adela Brainerd, my father's ward, who was brought up with us +because she had no other relation in the world. + +Besides, my father wished her to marry one of my brothers. It would +have done very well for either Torwood or Bertram, but unluckily, as +it seemed, neither of them could take to the notion. She was a dear +little thing, to be sure, and we were all very fond of her; but, as +Bertram said, it would have been like marrying Jaquetta, and Torwood +had other views, to which my father would not then listen. + +Then Bertram's regiment was ordered to Canada, and that was the real +cause of it all, though we did not know it till long after. + +Bertram was starting out on a sporting expedition with a Canadian +gentleman, when about ten miles from Montreal they halted at a farm +with a good well-built house, named Sault St. Pierre, all looking +prosperous and comfortable, and a young farmer, American in his ways- +-free-spoken, familiar, and blunt--but very kindly and friendly, was +at work there with some French-Canadian labourers. + +Bertram's friend knew him and often halted there on hunting +expeditions, so they went into the house--very nicely furnished, a +pretty parlour with muslin curtains, a piano, and everything +pleasant; and Joel Lea called his wife, a handsome, fair young woman. +Bertram says from the first she put him in mind of some one, and he +was trying to make out who it could be. Then came the wife's mother, +a neat little delicate, bent woman, with dark eyes, that looked, +Bertram said, as if they had had some great fright and never +recovered it. They called her Mrs. Dayman. + +She was silent at first, and only helped her daughter and the maid to +get the dinner, and an excellent dinner it was; but she kept on +looking at Bertram, and she quite started when she heard him called +Mr. Trevor. When they were just rising up, and going to take leave, +she came up to him in a frightened agitated manner, as if she could +not help it, and said-- + +"Sir, you are so like a gentleman I once knew. Was any relation of +yours ever in Canada?" + +"My father was in Canada," answered Bertram. + +"Oh no," she said then, very much affected, "the Captain Trevor I +knew was killed in the Lake Campaign in 1814. It must be a mistake, +yet you put me in mind of him so strangely." + +Then Bertram protested that she must mean my father, for that he had +been a captain in the --th, and had been stationed at York (as +Toronto was then called), but was badly wounded in repulsing the +American attack on the Lakes in 1814. + +"Not dead?" she asked, with her cheeks getting pale, and a sort of +excitement about her, that made Bertram wonder, at the moment, if +there could have been any old attachment between them, and he +explained how my father was shipped off from England between life and +death; and how, when he recovered, he found his uncle dying, and the +title and property coming to him. + +"And he married!" she said, with a bewildered look; and Bertram told +her that he had married Lady Mary Lupton--as his uncle and father had +wished--and how we four were their children. I can fancy how kindly +and tenderly Bertram would speak when he saw that she was anxious and +pained; and she took hold of his hand and held him, and when he said +something of mentioning that he had seen her, she cried out with a +sort of terror, "Oh no, no, Mr. Trevor, I beg you will not. Let him +think me dead, as I thought him. And then she drew down Bertram's +tall head to her, and fairly kissed his forehead, adding, "I could +not help it, sir; an old woman's kiss will do you no harm!" + +Then he went away. He never did tell us of the meeting till long +after. He was not a great letter writer, and, besides, he thought my +father might not wish to have the flirtations of his youth brought up +against him. So we little knew! + +But it seems that the daughter and son-in-law were just as much +amazed as Bertram, and when he was gone, and the poor old lady sank +into her chair and burst out crying, and as they came and asked who +or what this was, she sobbed out, "Your brother Hester! Oh! so like +him--my husband!" or something to that effect, as unawares. She +wanted to take it back again, but of course Hester would not let her, +and made her tell the whole. + +It seems that her name was Faith Le Blanc; she was half English, half +French-Canadian, and lived in a village in a very unsettled part, +where Captain Trevor used to come to hunt, and where he made love to +her, and ended by marrying her--with the knowledge of her family and +his brother officers, but not of his family--just before he was +ordered to the Lake frontier. The war had stirred up the Indians to +acts of violence they had not committed for many years, and a tribe +of them came down on the village, plundering, burning, killing, and +torturing those whom they had known in friendly intercourse. + +Faith Le Blanc had once given some milk to a papoose upon its +mother's back, and perhaps for this reason she was spared, but +everyone belonging to her was, she believed, destroyed, and she was +carried away by the tribe, who wanted to make her one of themselves; +and she knew that if she offended them, such horrors as she had seen +practised on others would come on her. + +However, they had gone to another resort of theirs, where there was a +young hunter who often visited them, and was on friendly terms. When +he found that there was a white woman living as a captive among them, +he spared no effort to rescue her. Both he and she were often in +exceeding danger; but he contrived her escape at last, and brought +her through the woods to a place of safety, and there her child was +born. + +It was over the American frontier, and it was long before she could +write to her husband. She never knew what became of her letter, but +the hunter friend, Piers Dayman, showed her an American paper which +mentioned Captain Trevor among the officers killed in their attack. +Dayman was devoted to her, and insisted on marrying her, and bringing +up her daughter as his own. I fancy she was a woman of gentle +passive temper, and had been crushed and terrified by all she had +gone through, so as to have little instinct left but that of clinging +to the protector who had taken her up when she had lost everything +else; and she married him. Nor did Hester guess till that very day +that Piers Dayman was not her father! + +There were other children, sons who have given themselves to hunting +and trapping in the Hudson's Bay Company's territory; but Hester +remained the only daughter, and they educated her well, sending her +to a convent at Montreal, where she learnt a good many +accomplishments. They were not Roman Catholics; but it was the only +way of getting an education. + +Dayman must have been a warm-hearted, tenderly affectionate person. +Hester loved him very much. But he had lived a wild sportsman's life, +and never was happy at rest. They changed home often; and at last he +was snowed up and frozen to death, with one of his boys, on a bear +hunting expedition. + +Not very long after, Hester married this sturdy American, Joel Lea, +who had bought some land on the Canadian side of the border, and her +mother came home to live with them. They had been married four or +five years, but none of their children had lived. + +So it was when the discovery came upon poor old Mrs. Dayman (I do not +know what else to call her), that Fulk Torwood Trevor, the husband of +her youth, was not dead, but was Earl of Trevorsham; married, and the +father of four children in England. + +Poor old thing! She would have buried her secret to the last, as +much in pity and love to him as in shame and grief for herself; and +consideration, too, for the sons, for whom the discovery was only +less bad than for us, as they had less to lose. Hester herself +hardly fully understood what it all involved, and it only gradually +grew on her. + +That winter her mother fell ill, and Mr. Lea felt it right that the +small property she had had for her life should be properly secured to +her sons, according to the division their father had intended. So a +lawyer was brought from Montreal and her will was made. Thus another +person knew about it, and he was much struck, and explained to Hester +that she was really a lady of rank, and probably the only child of +her father who had any legal claim to his estates. Lea, with a good +deal of the old American Republican temper, would not be stirred up. +He despised lords and ladies, and would none of it; but the lawyer +held that it would be doing wrong not to preserve the record. Hester +had grown excited, and seconded him; and one day, when Lea was out, +the lawyer brought a magistrate to take Mrs. Dayman's affidavit as to +all her past history--marriage witnesses and all. She was a good +deal overcome and agitated, and quite implored Hester never to use +the knowledge against her father; but she must have been always a +passive, docile being, and they made her tell all that was wanted, +and sign her deposition, as she had signed her will, as Faith Trevor, +commonly known as Faith Dayman. + +She did not live many days after. It was on the 3rd of February, +1836, that she died; and in the course of the summer Hester had a +son, who throve as none of her babies had done. + +Then she lay and brooded over him and the rights she fancied he was +deprived of, till she worked herself up to a strong and fixed +purpose, and insisted upon making all known to her father. Now that +her mother was gone she persuaded herself that he had been a cruel, +faithless tyrant, who had wilfully deserted his young wife. + +Joel Lea would not listen to her. Why should she wish to make his +son a good-for-nothing English lord? That was his view. Nothing but +misery, distress, and temptation could come of not letting things +alone. He held to that, and there were no means forthcoming either +of coming to England to present herself. The family were well to do, +but had no ready money to lay out on a passage across the Atlantic. +Nor would Hester wait. She had persuaded herself that a letter would +be suppressed, even if she had known how to address it; but to claim +her son's rights, and make an earl of him, had become her fixed idea, +and she began laying aside every farthing in her power. + +In this she was encouraged, not by the lawyer who had made the will-- +and who, considering that poor Faith's witnesses had been destroyed, +and her certificate and her wedding ring taken from her by the +Indians, thought that the marriage could not be substantiated--but by +a clever young clerk, who had managed to find out the state of +things; a man named Perrault, who used to come to the farm, always +when Lea was out, and talk her into a further state of excitement +about her child's expectations, and the injuries she was suffering. +It was her one idea. She says she really believes she should have +gone mad if the saving had not occupied her; and a very dreary life +poor Joel must have had whilst she was scraping together the passage- +money. He still steadily and sternly disapproved the whole, and when +at two years' end she had put together enough to bring her and her +boy home, and maintain them there for a few weeks, he still refused +to go with her. The last thing he said was, "Remember, Hester, what +was the price of all the kingdoms of the world! Thou wilt have it, +then! Would that I could say, my blessing go with thee." And he +took his child, and held him long in his arms, and never spoke one +word over him but, "My poor boy!" + + + + +CHAPTER II. TREVORSHAM + + + +I suppose I had better tell what we had been doing all this time. +Adela and I had come out, and had a season or two in London, and my +father had enjoyed our pleasure in it, and paid a good deal of court +to our pretty Adela, because there was no driving Torwood into +anything warmer than easy brotherly companionship. + +In fact, Torwood had never cared for anyone but little Emily +Deerhurst. Once he had come to her rescue, when she was only nine or +ten years old, and her schoolboy cousins were teasing her, and at +every Twelfth-day party since she and he had come together as by +right. There was something irresistible in her great soft plaintive +brown eyes, though she was scarcely pretty otherwise, and we used to +call her the White Doe of Rylstone. Torwood was six or seven years +older, and no one supposed that he seriously cared for her, till she +was sixteen. Then, when my father spoke point blank to him about +Adela, he was driven into owning what he wished. + +My father thought it utter absurdity. The connection was not +pleasant to him; Mrs. Deerhurst was always looked on as a designing +widow, who managed to marry off her daughters cleverly, and he could +believe no good of Emily. + +Now Adela always had more power with papa than any of us. She had a +coaxing way, which his stately old-school courtesy never could +resist. She used when we were children to beg for holidays, and get +treats for us; and even now, many a request which we should never +have dared to utter, she could, with her droll arch way, make him +think the most sensible thing in the world. + +What odd things people can do who have lived together like brothers +and sisters! I can hardly help laughing when I think of Torwood +coming disconsolately up from the library, and replying, in answer to +our vigorous demands, that his lordship had some besotted notion past +all reason. + +Then we pressed him harder--Adela with indignation, and I with +sympathy--till we forced out of him that he had been forbidden ever +to think or speak again of Emily, and all his faith in her laughed to +scorn, as delusions induced by Mrs. Deerhurst. + +"I'm sure I hope you'll take Ormerod, Adela," I remember he ended; +"then at least you would be out of the way." + +For Sir John Ormerod's courtship was an evident fact to all the +family, as, indeed, Adela was heiress enough to be a good deal +troubled with suitors, though she had hitherto managed to make them +all keep their distance. + +Adela laughed at him for his kind wishes, but I could see she meant +to plead for him. She had her chance, for Sir John Ormerod brought +matters to a crisis at the next ball; and though she thought, as she +said, "she had settled him," he followed it up with her guardian, and +Adela was invited to a conference in the library. + +It happened that as she ran upstairs, all in a glow, she came on +Torwood at the landing. She couldn't help saying in her odd half- +laughing, half-crying voice-- + +"It will come right, Torwood; I've made terms, I'm out of your way." + +"Not Ormerod!" he exclaimed. + +"Oh! no, no!" I can hear her dash of scorn now, for I was just +behind my brother, but she went on out of breath-- + +"You may go on seeing her, provided you don't say a word--till--till +she's been out two years." + +"Adela! you queen of girls, how have you done it?" he began, but she +thrust him aside and flew up into my arms; and when I had her in her +own room it came out, I hardly know how, that she had so shown that +she cared for no one she had ever seen except my father, that they +found they _did_ love each other; and--and--in short they were going +to be married." + +Really it seemed much less wonderful then than it does in thinking of +it afterwards. My father was much handsomer than any young man I +ever saw, with a hawk nose, a clear rosy skin, pure pink and white +like a boy's, curly little rings of white hair, blue eyes clear and +bright as the sky, a tall upright soldierly figure, and a magnificent +stately bearing, courteous and grand to all, but sweetly tender to a +very few, and to her above all. It always had been so ever since he +had brought her home an orphan of six years old from her mother's +death-bed at Nice. And he was youthful, could ride or hunt all day +without so much fatigue as either of his sons, and was as fresh and +eager in all his ways as a lad. + +And she, our pretty darling! I don't think Torwood and I in the +least felt the incongruity of her becoming our step-mother, only that +papa was making her more entirely his own. + +I am glad we did not mar the sunshine. It did not last long. She +came home thoroughly unwell from their journey to Switzerland, and +never got better. By the time the spring had come round again, she +was lying in the vault at Trevorsham, and we were trying to keep poor +little Alured alive and help my poor father to bear it. + +He was stricken to the very heart, and never was the same man again. +His age seemed to come upon him all at once; and whereas at sixty- +five he had been like a man ten years younger, he suddenly became +like one ten years older; and though he never was actually ill, he +failed from month to month. + +He could not bear the sight or sound of the poor baby. Poor Adela +had scarcely lived to hear it was a boy, and all she had said about +it was, "Ursula, you'll be his mother." And, oh! I have tried. If +love would do it, I think he could not be more even to dear Adela! + +What a frail little life it was! What nights and days we had with +him; doctors saying that skill could not do it, but care might; and +nurses knowing how to be more effective than I could be; yet while I +durst not touch him I could not bear not to see him. And I do think +I was the first person he began to know. + +Meantime, there was a great difference in Torwood. He had been very +much of a big boy hitherto. No one but myself could have guessed +that he cared for much besides a lazy kind of enjoyment of all the +best and nicest things in this world. He did what he was told, but +in an uninterested sort of way, just as if politics and county +business, and work at the estate, were just as much tasks thrust on +him as Virgil and Homer had been; and put his spirit into sporting, +&c. + +But when he was allowed to think hopefully of Emily, it seemed to +make a man of him, and he took up all that he had to do, as if it +really concerned him, and was not only a burden laid on him by his +father. + +And, as my father became less able to exert himself, Torwood came +forward more, and was something substantial to lean upon. Dear +fellow! I am sure he did well earn the consent he gained at last, +though not with much satisfaction, from papa. + +Emily had grown into great sweetness and grace, and Mrs. Deerhurst +had gone on very well. Of course, people were unkind enough to say, +it was only because she had such prey in view as Lord Torwood; but, +whatever withheld her, it is certain that Emily only had the most +suitable and reasonable pleasures for a young lady, and was +altogether as nice, and gentle, and sensible, as could be desired. +There never was a bit of acting in her, she was only allowed to grow +in what seemed natural to her. She was just one of the nice simple +girls of that day, doing her quiet bit of solid reading, and her +practice, and her neat little smooth pencil drawing from a print, as +a kind of duty to her accomplishments every day; and filling books +with neat up-and-down MS. copies of all the poetry that pleased her. +Dainty in all her ways, timid, submissive, and as it seemed to me, +colourless. + +But Fulk taught her Wordsworth, who was his great passion then, and +found her a perfect listener to all his Tory hopes, fears, and +usages. + +Papa could not help liking her when she came to stay with us, after +they were engaged, at the end of two years. He allowed that, away +from her mother and all her belongings, she would do very well; and +she was so pretty and sweet in her respectful fear of him--I might +almost say awe--that his graceful, chivalrous courtesy woke up again; +and he was beginning absolutely to enjoy her, as she became a little +more confident and understood him better. + +How well I remember that last evening! I was happier than I had been +for weeks about little Alured: the convulsions had quite gone off, +the teeth that had caused them were through, and he had been laughing +and playing on my lap quite brightly--cooing to his mother's +miniature in my locket. He was such an intelligent little fellow for +eighteen months! I came down so glad, and it was so pleasant to see +Emily, in her white dress, leaning over my father while he had gone +so happily into his old delight of showing his prints and engravings; +and Torwood, standing by the fire, watching them with the look of a +conqueror, and Jaquetta--like the absurd child she loved to be-- +teasing them with ridiculous questions about their housekeeping. + +They were to have Spinney Lawn bought for them, just a mile away, and +the business was in hand. Jaquey was enquiring whether there was a +parlour for The Cid, Torwood's hunter, whom she declared was as dear +to him as Emily herself. Indeed, Emily did go out every morning +after breakfast to feed him with bread. I can see her now on +Torwood's arm, with big Rollo and little Malta rolling over one +another after them. + +Then came an afternoon when we had all walked to Spinney Lawn, laid +out the gardens together, and wandered about the empty rooms, +planning for them. The birds were singing in the March sunshine, and +the tomtits were calling "peter" in the trees, and Jaquetta went +racing about after the dogs, like a thing of seven years old, instead +of seventeen. And Torwood was cutting out a root of primroses, +leaves and all, for Emily, when we saw a fly go along the lane, and +wondered, with a sort of idle wonder. We supposed it must be +visitors for the parsonage, and so we strolled home, looking for +violets by the way, and Jaquetta getting shiny studs of celandine. +Ah! I remember those glistening stars were all closed before we came +back. + +Well, it must come, so it is silly to linger! There stood the fly at +the hall-door, and the butler met us, saying-- + +"There's a person with his lordship, my lord. She would not wait +till you came in, though I told her he saw no one on business without +you--" + +Torwood hastened on before this, expecting to see some importunate +person bothering my father with a petition. What he did see was my +father leaning back in his chair, with a white, confounded, +bewildered look, and a woman, with a child on her lap, opposite. Her +back was to the door, and Torwood's first impression was that she was +a well-dressed impostor threatening him; so he came quickly to my +father's side, and said-- + +"What is it father? I'm here." + +My poor father put out his hand feebly to him, and said-- + +"It is all true, Torwood. God forgive me; I did not know it!" + +"Know what?" he asked anxiously. "What is it that distresses you, +father? Let me speak to this person--" + +Then she broke out--not loud, not coarsely, but very determinately-- +"No, sir; you would be very glad to suppress me, and my child, and my +evidence, no doubt; but the Earl of Trevorsham has acknowledged the +truth of my claim, and I will not leave this spot till he has +acknowledged my mother as his only lawful wife, and my child, Trevor +Lea, as his only lawful heir!" + +Torwood thought her insane and only said quietly, as he offered my +father his arm, "I will talk it over with you presently; Lord +Trevorsham is not equal to discuss it now." + +"I see what you mean!" she said quickly. "You would like to make me +out crazy, but Lord Trevorsham knows better. Do not you, my father?" +she said, with a strong emphasis, the more marked, because it was +concentrated, not loud. + +My poor father was shuddering all over with involuntary trembling; +but he put Torwood's hand away from him, and looked up piteously, as +if his heart was breaking (as it was); but he spoke steadily. "It is +true. It is true, Torwood. I was married to poor Faith, when I was +a young man, in Canada. They sent me proofs that all had perished +when the Indians attacked the village; but--" and then he put his +hands over his face. It must have been dreadful to see; but Hester +Lea was too much bent on her rights to feel a moment's pity; and she +spoke on in a hard tone, with her eyes fixed on my brother's face. + +"But you failed to discover that she was rescued from the Indians; +gave birth to me, your daughter, Hester; and only died two years +ago." + +"You hear! My boy, my poor boy, forgive me; don't leave me to her," +was what my poor father had said--he who had been so strong. + +My brother saw what it all meant now. "Never fear that, sir," he +said; "I am your son still, any way, you know." + +"You will do justice to me," she began, in her fierce tone; but my +brother met it calmly with, "Certainly, we will do our best that +justice should be done. You have brought proof?" + +His quietness overawed her, and she pointed to the papers on the +table. They were her mother's attested narrative, and the +certificate of her burial. + +My brother read aloud, "The 3rd of February, 1836," then he turned to +my father and said, "You observe, father, the difference this may +make, if true, is that of putting little Alured into the place I have +held. My father's last marriage was on the 15th of April, 1836," he +added to her. He says she quite glared at him with mortification, as +if he had invented poor little Alured on purpose to baffle her; but +my father breathed more freely. + +"And is nothing--nothing to be done for my child, your own grandson?" +exclaimed she, "after these years." + +Torwood silenced her by one of his looks. "We only wish to do +justice," he said. "If it be as you say, you will have a right to a +great deal, and it will not be disputed; but you must be aware that a +claim made in this manner requires investigation, and you can see +that my father is not in a state for an exciting discussion." + +"_Your_ father!" she said, with a bitter tone of scorn; but he took +it firmly, though the blood seemed to come boiling to his temples. + +"Yes," he said, "my father! and if you are indeed his daughter, you +should show some pity and filial duty, by not forcing the discussion +on him while he can so little bear it." + +That staggered her a little, but she said, "I do not wish to do him +any harm, but I have my child's interests to think of. How do I know +what advantage may be taken against him?" + +Torwood saw my father lying back in the chair, trembling, and he +dreaded a fit every moment. + +"I give you my word," he said, "that no injustice shall be done you;" +and as she looked keenly at him, as if she distrusted him, he said, +"Yes, you may trust me. I was bred an English gentleman, whatever I +was born, and I promise you never to come between you and your +rights, when your identity as Lord Trevorsham's daughter is fully +established. Meantime, do you not see that your presence is killing +him? Tell me where you may be heard of?" + +"I shall stay at the Shinglebay Hotel till I am secure of the justice +I claim," she said. "Come, my boy, since your own grandfather will +not so much as look at you." + +Torwood walked her across the hall. He was a little touched by those +last words, and felt that she might have looked for a daughter's +reception, so he said in the hall-- + +"You must remember this is a very sudden shock to us all. When my +father has grown accustomed to the idea, no doubt he will wish to see +you again; but in his present state of health, he must be our first +consideration. And unprepared as my sisters are, it would be +impossible to ask you to stay in the house." + +She was always a little subdued by my brother's manner; I think its +courtesy and polish almost frightened her, high-spirited, resolute +woman as she was. + +"I understand," she said, with a stiff, cold tone. Jaquetta heard +the echo of it, and wondered. + +"But," he added, "when they understand all, and when my father is +equal to it, you shall be sent for." + +When he went back to the library he found my poor father unconscious. +It was really only fainting then, and he came round without anyone +being called, and he shrank from seeing anyone but Torwood, +explaining to him most earnestly how, though he was too ill himself +to go to the place, his brother-officer, General Poyntz, had done so +for him, and had been persuaded that the whole settlement and all the +inhabitants had been swept off. It was such a shock to him that it +nearly killed him. Poor father! it was grievous to hear him wish it +had quite done so! + +We only knew that the woman had upset my father very much, and that +Torwood could not leave him. Word was sent us to sit down to dinner +without them, and Torwood sent for some gravy soup and some wine for +him. He went on talking--sometimes about us, but more often about +poor Faith, who seemed to have come back on him in all the beauty and +charm of his first love. He seemed to be talking himself feverish, +and after a time Torwood thought that silence would be better for +him; so he got him to go to bed, and sent good old Blake, the butler, +who had been his servant in the army, to sit in the dressing-room. +Blake, it turned out, had known all about the old story, so he was a +safe person. Not that safety mattered much. "Lady Hester Lea"--she +called herself so now, as, indeed, she had every right--was making it +known at Shinglebay. + +So Torwood came out. I was very anxious, of course, and had been +hovering about on the nursery stairs, where I had gone to see whether +baby was quietly asleep, and I overtook him as he was going down- +stairs. + +"How is papa?" I asked. + +I shall never forget the white look of the face he raised up to mine +as he said, "Poor father! Ursula, I can only call the news terrible. +Will you try to stand up against it bravely?" + +And then he held out his arms and gathered me into them, and I +believe I said, "I can bear anything when you do that!" + +I thought it could only be something about Bertram, who had rather a +way of getting into scrapes, and I said his name; but just as Fulk +was setting me at ease on that score, Jaquetta, who was on the watch, +too, opened the door of the green drawing-room, and we were obliged +to go in. Then, hardly answering her and Emily, as they asked after +papa, he stood straight up in the middle of the rug and told us, +beginning with-- "Ursula, did you know that our father had been +married as a young man in Canada?" + +No. We had never guessed it. + +"He was," my brother went on, "This is his daughter." + +"Our sister!" Jaquetta asked. "Where has she been all this time?" + +But I saw there must be more to trouble him, and then it came. "I +cannot tell. My father had every reason to believe that--she--his +first wife--had been killed in a massacre by the Red Indians; but if +what this person says is true, she only died two years ago. But it +was in all good faith that he married our mother. He had taken all +means to discover--" + +Even then we did not perceive what this involved. I felt stunned and +numbed chiefly from seeing the great shock it had been to my father +and to him; but poor little Jaquetta and Emily were altogether +puzzled; and Jaquetta said, "But is this sister of ours such a very +disagreeable person, Torwood? Why didn't you bring her in and show +her to us?" + +Then he exclaimed, almost angrily at her simplicity, "Good heavens! +girls, don't you see what it all means? If this is true, I am not +Torwood. We are nothing--nobody--nameless." + +He turned to the fire, put both elbows on the mantelshelf, and hid +his face in his hands. Emily sprang up, and tried to draw down his +arm; and she did, but he only used it to put her from him, hold her +off at arm's length, and look at her--oh! with such a tender face of +firm sorrow! + +"Ah! Emily," he said; "you too! It has been all on false pretences! +That will have to be all over now." + +Then Emily's great brown eyes grew bigger with wonder and dismay. + +"False pretences!" she cried, "what false pretences? Not that you +cared for me, Torwood." + +"Not that I cared for you," he said, with a suppressed tone that made +his voice _so_ deep! "Not that _I_ cared, but that Lord Torwood did- +-Torwood is the baby upstairs." + +"But it is you--you--you--Fulk!" said Emily, trying to creep and +sidle up to him, white doe fashion. I believe nobody had ever called +him by his Christian name before, and it made it sweeter to him, but +still he did not give in. + +"Ah! that's all very well," he said, and his voice was softer then, +"but what would your mother say?" + +"The same as I do," said Emily, undauntedly. "How should it change +one's feelings one bit," and she almost cried at being held back. + +He did let her nestle up to him then, but with a sad sort of smile. +"My child, my darling," he said, "I ought not to allow this! It will +only be the worse after!" + +But just then a servant's step made them start back, and a message +came and brought word that Mr. Blake would be glad if Lord Torwood +would step up. + +Yes, my poor father was wandering in his speech, and very feverish, +mixing up Adela and Faith Le Blanc strangely together sometimes, and +at others fancying he was lying ill with his wound, and sending +messages to Faith. + +We sent for the doctor, but he could not do anything really. It had +been a death-blow, though the illness lasted a full week. He knew us +generally, and liked to see us, but he always had the sense that +something dreadful had happened to us; and he would stroke my hand or +Jaquetta's, and pity us. He was haunted, too, by the sense that he +ought to do something for us which he could not do. We thought he +meant to make a will, securing us something, but he was never in a +condition in which my brother would have felt justified in getting +him to sign it. Indeed there was so little disease about him, and we +thought he would get better, if only we could keep him free from +distress and excitement; so we made his room as quiet as possible, +and discouraged his talking or thinking. + +Lady Hester came every day. My brother had sent for Mr. Eagles, our +solicitor, to meet her the first time, and look at her papers. + +He said he could not deny that it looked very bad for us. Of the +original marriage there was no doubt; indeed, my father had told +Torwood where to find the certificate of it, folded up in the secret +drawer of his desk, with his commission in the army; and the register +of Faith's burial was only too plain. The only chance there was for +us was, that her identity could not be established; but Mr. Eagles +did not think it would go off on this. The whole of her life seemed +to be traceable; besides, there was something about Hester that +forbade all suspicion of her being a conscious impostor. Whether she +would be able to prove herself my father's daughter was another more +doubtful point. That, however, made no difference, except as to her +own rank and fortune. If the first wife were proved to have been +alive till 1836, then little Alured was the only true heir to the +title and estate, and, next after him, stood Hester Lea and her son. + +People said she was like the family; I never could see it, and always +thought the likeness due to their imagination. She took one by +surprise. She was a tall, well-made woman, with a narrow waist, and +a proud, peculiarly upright bearing, though quick, almost sharp in +all her movements, and especially with her eyes. Those eyes, I +confess, always startled me. They were clear, bright blue, well +opened eyes--honest eyes one would have called them--only they +appeared to be always searching about, and darting at one when one +least expected it. The red and white of the face too always had a +clear hard look, like the eyes; the teeth projected a little, and +were so very, very white, that they always seemed to me to flash like +the eyes; and if ever she smiled, it was as much as to say, "I don't +believe you." Her nose had an amount of hook, too, that always gave +me the feeling of having a wild hawk in the room with me. Jaquetta +used to call her a panther of the wilderness, but to my mind there +was none of the purring cattish tenderness of the panther. However, +that might be only because she viewed us as her natural enemies, and +was always on her guard against us, though I do not well know why; I +am sure we only wanted to know the truth and do justice, and Fulk was +so convinced that she would prove her case, and that there was no +help for it, that at the end of hearing Mr. Eagles question her, he +said, "Well, the matter must be tried in due time, but since we are +brothers and sisters, let us be friendly," and he held out his hand +to her. Mr. Eagles, who told me, said he could have beaten him for +the imprudent admission, only he did look so generous and sweet and +sad; and Lady Hester drew herself up doubtfully and proudly, as if +she could hardly bear to own such a brother, but she did take his +hand, coldly though, and saying, "Let me see my father." + +He was obliged to tell her that this was impossible. I doubt whether +she ever believed him--at least she used to gaze at him with her +determined eyes, as if she meant to abash him out of falsehood, and +she sharply questioned every one about Lord Trevorsham's state. + +The determination to be friendly made my brother offer to take her to +us. She consented, but not very readily, and I am afraid we were +needlessly cold and dry; but we were taken by surprise when my +brother brought her into the sitting-room. It was not very easy to +welcome the woman who was going to turn us all out, and under such a +stigma; and she--she could hardly be expected to look complacently at +the interlopers who had her place, and the title she had a right to. + +She put us through her hard catechism about my dear father's state, +and said at last that she should like to see Lord Torwood. + +Taken by surprise, we looked and signed towards him whom that name +had always meant. He smiled a little and said, "Little Alured! But, +remember, I am bound to concede nothing till judicial minds are +convinced. The parties concerned cannot judge. Can you venture to +have Baby down, Ursula?" + +No, I did not venture. I thought it might have been averted; but I +was only obliged to take her up to the nurseries. On the way up she +asked which way my father's room lay. I answered, "Oh! across +there;" I did not know if she might not make a dash at it. + +I think she must have heard at Shinglebay how delicate poor little +Alured was, and thence gathered hopes of the succession for her boy, +for she asked her sharp questions about his health all the way up, +and knew that he had had fits. I could not put her down as one +generally can inquisitive people. I suppose it was because she was +more sensible of the difference in our real positions than I have as +yet felt. + +Baby was asleep; and I think she was touched by the actual sight of +him. She said he was very like her boy; and though I supposed that a +mere assertion at the time, it was quite true. Alured and Trevor Lea +have always been remarkably alike. However, she cross-examined Nurse +about his health even more minutely, and then took her leave; but she +came again every day, walking after the first, as long as my dear +father lived. + +And she must have talked, for there came a kind of feeling over +everyone, as well as ourselves, that something was hanging over us, +of which the issue would be known when my father's illness took some +turn. + +Mr. Decies came every day to inquire, but I could not bear a strange +eye, and Hester might have been looking on. I was steeling myself +against him. Was I right?--oh! was I right? I have wondered and +grieved! For I knew well enough what he had been thinking of for +months before; only I did not want it to come to a point. How was I +to leave little Alured to Jaquetta? or disturb my father by breaking +up his home? I liked him on the whole, and had come the length of +thinking that if I ever married at all, it would be-- But that's all +nonsense; and mine could not have been what other people's love was, +or I should not have shrunk from the sight and look of him. If it +had been only poverty that was coming, it would have been a different +thing; but to be nameless impostors! + +Mrs. Deerhurst had gone out on a round of visits, when Emily came to +us, taking her younger daughter. They were not a very letter-writing +family. It is odd how some people's pen is a real outlet of +expression; while others seem to lack the nerve that might convey +their thoughts to it, even when they live in more sympathy than Emily +could well have had with her mother. + +At least, so I understand, what afterwards we wondered at, that Emily +never mentioned Hester; only saying, when, after some days she did +write, that Lord Trevorsham was ill. + +So Fulk had the one comfort of being with her when he was out of the +sick room. I used to see them from the window walking up and down +the terrace in the blue east wind haze of those March days, never +that I could see speaking. I don't think my brother would have felt +it honourable to tie one additional link between himself and her. He +had not a doubt as to how her mother would act, but to be in her dear +little affectionate presence was a better help than we could give +him, even though nothing passed between them. + +Jaquetta used to wonder at them, and then try to go on the same as +usual; and would wander about the garden and park with her dogs, and +bring us in little anecdotes, and do all the laughing over them +herself. Poor child! she felt as if she were in a bad dream, and +these were efforts to shake it off, and wake herself. + +After all, nothing was ever so bad as those ten days! But, my +brother always said he was thankful for the respite and time for +thought which they gave him. + + + + +CHAPTER III. THE PEERAGE CASE. + + + +The end came suddenly at last, when we were thinking my dear father +more tranquil. He passed away in sleep late one evening, just ten +days after Hester's arrival. She had gone back to her lodgings, and +we did not send to tell her till the morning; but by nine o'clock she +was in the house. + +We had crept down to breakfast, Jaquetta and I, feeling very dreary +in the half-light, and as if desolation had suddenly come on us; and +when we heard her fly drive up to the door, Jaquetta cried out almost +angrily, "Torwood, how could you!" and we would have run away, but he +said, "Stay, dear girls; it is better to have it over." + +As she came in he rang the bell as if for family prayers, and she had +only asked one or two questions, which he answered shortly, when all +the servants came in, some crying sadly. Fulk read a very few +prayers--as much as he had voice for, and then, as all stood up, he +had to clear his voice, but he spoke firmly enough. + +"It is right that you all should know that a grave doubt has arisen +as to my position here. Lord Trevorsham had every reason to believe +his first wife had perished by the hands of the Red Indians long +before he married my mother. What he did was done in entire +ignorance--no breath of blame must light on him. This lady alleges +that she can produce proofs that she is his daughter, and that her +mother only died in February, '36. If these proofs be considered +satisfactory by a committee of the House of Lords, then she and +Alured Torwood Trevor will be shown to be his only legitimate +children. I shall place the matter in the right hands as soon as +possible--that is" (for she was glaring at him), "as soon as the +funeral is over. Until that decision is made I request that no one +will call me by the title of him who is gone; but I shall remain here +to take care of my little brother, whose guardian my father wished me +to be; and for the present, at least, I shall make no change in the +establishment." + +I think everyone held their breath: there was a great stillness over +all--a sort of hush of awe--and then some of the maids began sobbing, +and the butler tried to say something, but he quite broke down; and +just then a troubled voice cried out-- + +"Torwood, Torwood, what is this?" + +And there we saw Bertram in the midst of us, with the haggard look of +a man who had travelled all night, and a dismayed air that I can +never forget. + +He had been quartered at Belfast, and we had written to him the day +after my father's illness, to summon him home, but there were no +telegraphs nor railways; and there had been some hindrance about his +leave, so that it had taken all that length of time to bring him. +Fulk had left all to be told on his arrival. He had come by the +mail-coach, and walked up from the Trevorsham Arms, where he had been +told of our father's death; and so had let himself in noiselessly, +and was standing in the dining-room door, hearing all that Fulk said! + +Poor fellow! Jaquetta flung herself on him, hiding her face against +him, while the servants went, and before any one else could speak, +Hester stood forth, and said, to our amazement-- + +"Captain Trevor! You know me. You can and must bear me witness, and +do me justice--" + +"You! I have seen you before--but--where? I beg your pardon," he +said, bewildered. + +"You remember Sault St. Pierre farm?" she said. + +"Sault St. Pierre! What? You are Mrs. Lea! Good heavens! Where is +your mother?" + +"My mother is dead, sir. You were the first person who made known to +her that her husband, my father, was not dead, but had taken--or +pretended to take--an English woman for his wife." + +"Wait!" thundered Fulk, "whatever my father did was ignorantly and +honourably done!" + +Bertram was as pale as death, and looked from one of us to the other, +and at last, he gasped out-- + +"And that--was what she meant?" + +"There, sir," said Hester, turning to Torwood, "You see your brother +cannot deny it! You will not refuse justice to me, and my son." + +I fancy she expected that the house was to be given up to her, and +that we were only to remain there on her sufferance, perhaps till +after the funeral. + +My brother spoke, "Justice will no doubt be done; but the question +does not lie between you and me, but between me and Alured. It is, +as I said, a peerage question--and will be decided by the peers. +Incidentally, that enquiry will prove what is your position and rank, +as well as what may or may not be ours. Any further points depend +upon my father's will, and that will be in the hands of Mr. Eagles. +I think you can see that it would be impossible, as well as +unfeeling, to take any steps until after the funeral." + +Whatever Hester Lea was, she was a high-spirited being, standing +there, a solitary woman, a stranger, with all of us four, and one +whole household, as it must have seemed, against her. I was outraged +and shocked at her defiance at the time, but when, some time after, I +re-read King John, I saw that there was something of Constance in +her. + +"That may be," she answered, "but when my child's interests are at +stake, I cannot haggle over conventionalities and proprieties. I am +the Earl of Trevorsham's only legitimate daughter, and I claim my +right to remain in his house, and to take charge of my infant +brother." + +A sign from Fulk stopped me, as I was going to scream at this. + +"Remember," he said, "your identity has yet to be proved." + +"Your brother there must needs witness. He has done so." + +"What do you witness to, Bertram?" asked Fulk. + +"I do not know; I cannot understand," said Bertram. "I saw this +person in a farm in Lower Canada, and there was an old lady who +seemed to have known my father, and was very much amazed to find he +was not killed in 1814. I did not hear her name, nor know whose +mother she was, nor anything about her, nor what this dreadful +business means." + +"At any rate," said Fulk to her, "your claim to remain in the house +must depend on the legal proof of the fact. My father's first +marriage is undoubted, but absolute legal certainty that you are the +child of that marriage alone can entitle you to take rank as his +daughter; and, therefore, I am not compelled to admit your claim to +remain here, though if you will refrain from renewing this discussion +till after the funeral, I will not ask you to leave the house." + +"I do not recognize your right to ask or not to ask," she said, +undauntedly. + +"I am either Lord Trevorsham's rightful heir--and it is not yet shown +that I am not--or else I am the guardian he appointed for his son. I +know this to be so, and Mr. Eagles, who will soon be here, will show +it to you in the will if you wish it. Therefore, until the decision +is made, when, if it goes against me, the child will no doubt be made +a ward in Chancery, I am the person responsible for him and his +property." + +"I have no doubt you will take advantage of me and of every quibble +against me;" and there at last she began to break down; "but if there +is justice in heaven or earth my child shall have it, though you and +all were leagued against him." + +And there she began to sob. And those brothers of mine, they +actually grew compassionate; they ran after wine; they called us to +bring salts, and help her. Emily shuddered, and put her hands behind +her; but Jaquetta actually ran up to the woman, and coaxed her and +comforted her, when I had rather have coaxed a tigress. + +But I had to go to the table and pour out tea and give it to her with +all the rest. I don't know how we got through that breakfast. But +we did, and then I made the housekeeper put her into the very best +rooms. Anything if she would only stay there out of the way. + +When I came back, I found Fulk explaining why he had spoken at once, +and he said he felt that she would have no scruples about taking the +initiative, and that everyone would be having surmises. + +Poor Bertram was even more cut up than we were. It came more +suddenly, and he felt as if it was all his doing. He had no hope, +and he took all ours away. There had been something in the old woman +that impressed him as genuine, and he had no doubt that she had known +and loved our father. Nay, no one could suspect Hester of not +believing in her own story; the only question was whether the links +of evidence could be substantiated. + +The next thing that happened--I can't tell which day it was--was Mrs. +Deerhurst's coming, professing to be dreadfully shocked and overcome +by my father's death, to take away Emily. She must be so much in our +way. I, who saw her first, answered only by begging to keep her--our +great comfort and the one thing that cheered and upheld my brother. + +Mrs. Deerhurst looked keenly at me; and I began to wonder what she +knew, but just then came Fulk into the room, with his calm, set, +determined face. I knew he would rather speak without me, so I went +away, and only knew what he could bear to tell me afterwards. + +Mrs. Deerhurst had been a great deal kinder than he expected. No +doubt she would not break the thing off while there was a shred of +hope that he was an earl; but he could not drive her to allow, in so +many words, that it must depend upon that. + +He had quite made up his mind that it was not right to enjoy Emily's +presence and the comfort it gave him, unless he was secure of Mrs. +Deerhurst's permitting the engagement under his possible +circumstances. + +I believe he nattered himself she would, and let her deceive him with +thinking so, instead of, as we all did, seeing that what she wanted +was to secure the credit of being constant and disinterested in case +he retained his position. So, although she took Emily home, she left +him cheered and hopeful, admiring her, and believing that she so +regarded her daughter's happiness that, if he had enough to support +her, she would overlook the loss of rank and title. He went on half +the evening talking about what a remarkable woman Mrs. Deerhurst was; +and, at any rate, it cheered him up through those worst days. + +Our Lupton uncles came, and were frightfully shocked and incredulous; +at least, Uncle George was. Uncle Lupton himself remembered +something of my father having told him of a former affair in America. + +They would not let Jaquetta and me go to the funeral; and they were +wise, for Hester thrust herself in--but it is of no use to think +about that. Indeed, there is not much to tell about that time, and I +need not go into the investigation. It was all taken out of our +hands, as my brother had said. Perrault came over from Canada, and +brought his witnesses, but not Joel Lea. He had nothing to prove, +had conscientious scruples about appearing in an English court of +justice, and still hoped it would all come to nothing. + +We stayed on at the London house--the lawyers said we ought, and that +possession was "nine-tenths," &c. Besides, we wanted advice for +Baby, who had been worse of late. + +The end of it was that it went against us. Faith's marriage, her +identity, and Hester's, were proved beyond all doubt, and little +Alured was served Earl of Trevorsham. Poor child, how ill he was +just then! It was declared water on the brain! I could hardly think +about anything else; but they all said it seemed like a mockery, and +that he would not bear the title a week. And then Lady Hester would +have been, not Countess of Trevorsham, but Viscountess Torwood, and +at any rate she halved the personal property: all that had been meant +for us. + +For we already knew that there was nothing in the will that could do +us any good. All depended on my mother's marriage settlements, and +as the marriage was invalid they were so much waste paper. + +My uncles, to whom my poor mother's fortune reverted, would not touch +it, and gave every bit back to us; but it was only 10,000 pounds, and +what was that among the four of us? + +I was in a sort of maze all the time, thinking of very little beyond +dear little Alured's struggle for life, and living upon his little +faint smiles when he was a shade better. + +Jaquetta has told me more of what passed than I heeded at the time. + +Our brothers decided not to retain the Trevor name, to which we had +no right; but they had both been christened Torwood; after an old +family custom, and they thought it best to use this still as a +surname. + +Bertram felt the shame, as he would call it, the most; but Fulk held +up his head more. He said where there was no sin there was no shame; +and that to treat ourselves as under a blot of disgrace was insulting +our parents, who had been mistaken, but not guilty. + +Bertram was determined against returning to his regiment, and it +would have been really too expensive. His plan was to keep together, +and lay out our capital upon a piece of ground in New Zealand, which +was beginning to be settled. + +Jaquetta was always ready to be delighted. Dear child, her head was +full of log huts and Robinson Crusoe life, and cows to milk herself; +and I really think she would have liked to go ashore in the Swiss +family's eight tubs! + +The thorough change, after all the sorrow, seemed delicious to her! +I heard her and Bertram laughing down below, and wondered if they got +the length of settling what dogs they would take out! + +And Fulk! He really had almost persuaded himself that Emily would go +with us; or at the very worst, would wait till he had achieved +prosperity and could come home and fetch her. + +Mrs. Deerhurst had declared that waiting for the decision was so bad +for her nerves, that she must take her to Paris; and actually our +dear old stupid fellow had not perceived what that meant, for the +woman had let him part tenderly with Emily in London, with promises +of writing, &c., the instant the case was decided. It passed his +powers to suppose she could expose her daughter's heart to such a +wreck. So he held up, cheerful and hopeful, thinking what a treasure +of constancy he had! And when they had built their castle in New +Zealand, they sent up Jaquey to call me to share it with them. Baby +was asleep, and I went down; but when I heard the plan--it was cross +to be so unsympathizing, but I did feel hurt and angry at their +forgetting him; and I said, "I shall never leave Alured." + +"Ursula! you could not stay by yourself," said Jaquey. And Bertram, +who had hardly ever seen him, and could not care for him said it was +nonsense, and even if there were a chance of the child living, I +could not be left behind. + +I was wrought up, and broke out that he would and should live, and +that I would come as a stranger, a nursery governess, and watch over +him, and never abandon him to Hester. + +"Never fear, Ursula," said Fulk, "if he lives, he will be in safe +hands." + +"Safe hands! What are safe hands for a child like that! Hester's, +who only wishes him out of her way?" + +"For shame!" the others said, and I answered that, of course, I did +not think Hester meant ill by him, but that, where the doctors had +said only love and care could save him--no care was safe where he was +not loved; and I cried very, very bitterly, more than I had done even +for my father, or for anything else before; and I fell into a storm +of passion, at the cruelty of leaving the poor little thing, whom his +dying mother had trusted to me, and declared I would never, never do +it. + +I was right in the main, it seems to me, but unjust and naughty in +the way I did it; and when Fulk, with some hesitation, began to talk +of my not being asked to go just yet--not while the child lived--I +turned round in a really violent, naughty fit, with--"You too, Fulk, +I thought you loved your little brother better than that? You only +want to be rid of him, and leave him to Hester, and he will die in +her hands." + +Fulk began to say that the Court of Chancery never gave the custody +to the next heir. But I rushed away again to the nursery, and sat +there, devising plans of disguising myself in a close cap and blue +spectacles, and coming to offer myself as Lord Trevorsham's +governess. + +The child had no relations whatever on his mother's side, and though, +if he had been healthy, nurses and tutors might have taken care of +this baby lordship, even that would have been sad enough; and for the +feeble little creature, whose life hung on a thread, how was it to be +thought of? I fully made up my mind to stay, even if they all went. +I told Jaquetta, so--in my vehemence dashed all her bright +anticipation, and sent her again in tears to bed. I wish unhappiness +would not make one so naughty! + +The next day poor Fulk was struck down. A letter came from Mrs. +Deerhurst to break off the engagement, and a great parcel containing +all the things he had given Emily. She must have packed them up +before leaving England, while she was still flattering him. Not a +word nor a line was there from Emily herself!--only a supplication +from the mother that he would not rend her child's heart by +persisting--just as if she had not encouraged him to go on all this +time! + +Nothing would serve him but that he must dash over to Paris, to see +her and Emily. + +Railroads were not, and it was a ten days' affair at the shortest; +and, with all our prospects doubtful and Alured still so ill, it was +very trying. How Bertram did rave at the folly and futility of the +expedition! but one comfort was, that Alured was a ward of Chancery, +and, in the vast kindness and commiseration everyone bestowed upon +us, no one tried to hurry us or turn us out. + +Hester used to come continually to inquire after her brother, and +there was something in her way that always made me shudder when she +asked after him. I knew she could not wish for his life, and gloated +over all the reports she could collect of his weakness. I felt more +and more horror of her; God forgive me for not having tried not to +hate her. I sometimes doubt whether my dread and distrust were not +visible, and may not have put it into her head. + +And then came Mr. Decies, again and again. He was faithful--I see it +now. He cared not if I had neither name nor fortune; he held fast to +his proposals. And I? Oh, I was absorbed--I was universally +defiant--I did not do him justice in the bitterness I did not +realise. I thought he was constant only out of honour and pity, and +I did not choose to open my heart to understand his pleadings or +accept them as earnest--I was harsh. Oh, how little one knows what +one is doing! Too proud to be grateful--that was actually my case. +I was enamoured of the blue-spectacle plan; I had romances of +watching Alured day and night, and pouring away dangerous draughts. +The very fancy, I see now, was playing with edged tools; I feel as if +my imagination had put the possibility into the very air. + +Once indeed--when Jaquetta had been telling me she did not understand +my unkindness; and observed that, even for Alured's sake, she could +not see why I did not accept--I did begin to regard him as a possible +protector for the boy. But no; the blue spectacles would be the more +assiduous guardian, said my foolish fancy. + +Before I had thought it over into sense or reason, Fulk came back +from Paris. He had not been really crushed till now. He was white, +and silent, and resolute, and very gentle; all excitement of manner +gone. He did not say one word, but we knew it was all over with him, +and that he could not have had one scrap of comfort or hope. + +Nor had he, though even to me he told nothing, till we were together +in the dark one evening, much later. He did insist upon seeing +Emily; but her mother would not leave her, or take her eyes off her, +and the timid thing did nothing but sob and cry, in utter +helplessness and shame, and never even gave him a look. + +It was not the being neglected and cast off that he felt as such a +wrong, to both himself and Emily, but the being drawn on with false +hopes and promises to expect that she was to belong to him, after +all; and he was cruelly disappointed that Emily had not energy to +cling to him--he had made so sure of her. + +Bertram and Jaquetta had expected all along that he would be the more +eager to be off to the Antipodes when everything was swept away from +him here, and he did sit after dinner talking it over in a business- +like way, while Bertram gave him all the information he had been +collecting in his absence. + +I would not listen. I was determined against going away from my +charge; I had rather have been his housemaid than have left him to +Hester, and I must have looked like a stone as I got up, and left +them to their talk while I went back to the boy. + +I heard Bertram say while I was lighting my candle, "Poor Ursula! she +will not see it. Hart told me to-day that the child is dying--would +hardly get through the night." + +Now I had been thinking all the afternoon that he was better, and I +had gone down to dinner cheered. I turned into the doorway, and told +Fulk to come and see. + +He did come. There was Alured, lying, as he had lain all day, upon +his nurse's knees, with her arm under his head. He had not moaned +for a long time, and I had left him in a more comfortable sleep. He +opened his eyes as we came in, held out his hands more strongly than +we thought he could have done, quite smiled--such an intelligent +smile--and said, "Tor--Tor--," which was what he had always called +his brother, making his gesture to go to him. + +The tears came into Fulk's eyes, though he smiled back and spoke in +his sweet, strong voice, and held out his arms, while we told him he +had better sit down. Poor nurse! she must have been glad enough--she +had held him all that live-long day! And he was quite eager to go to +his brother, and smiled up and cooed out, "Tor--Tor," again, as he +felt himself on the strong arm. + +Fulk bade nurse go and lie down, and he would hold him. And so he +did. I fed the child, as I had done at intervals all day; and he +sometimes slept, sometimes woke and murmured or cooed a little, and +Fulk scarcely spoke or stirred, hour after hour. He had been +travelling day and night, but, strange to say, that enforced calm-- +that tender stillness and watching, was better for him than rest. He +would only have tossed about awake, if he had gone to bed after a +discussion with Bertram. + +But in the morning Dr. Hart came, quite surprised to find the child +alive; and when he looked at him and felt his pulse, he said, "You +have saved him for this time, at least." + +(Everybody was lavish of pronouns, and chary of proper names. Nobody +knew what to call anybody.) + +His little lordship was able to be laid in his cot, and Fulk, almost +blind now with sheer sleep, stumbled off to his room, threw himself +on his bed, and slept for seven hours in his clothes without so much +as moving. He confessed that he had never had such unbroken, +dreamless sleep since he had first seen Hester Lea's face. + +That little murmur of "Tor--Tor" had settled all our fates. I don't +think he had realised before how love was the one thing that the +child's life hung upon, and that the boy himself must have that love +and trust. Then, too, when he had waked and dressed and come down, +the first person he met was Hester, with her hard, glittering eyes, +trying to condole, and not able to hide how the exulting look went +out of her face on hearing that the Earl (as she chose to term him) +was better. + +She supposed some arrangement would soon be made, and Fulk said he +should see the lawyers at once about it, and arrange for the personal +guardianship of Lord Trevorsham. + +"Of course I am the only proper person while he lives, poor child," +she said. + +I broke in with, "The next heir is never allowed the custody." + +I wish I had not. She hastily and proudly said "What do you mean?" +and Fulk quickly added that "the Lord Chancellor would decide." + +The next day he went out, and on returning came up to me in the +nursery, and called me into the study. + +"Ursula," he said, "I find that, considering the circumstances, there +will be no objection made to our retaining the personal charge of our +little brother. Everyone is very kind. Ours is not a common case of +illegitimacy, and my father's well-known express wishes will be +allowed to prevail." + +"And your character," I could not help saying; and he owned that it +did go for something, that he was known to everybody, and had some +standing of his own, apart from the rank he had lost. + +Then he went on to say that this would of course put an end to the +emigration plan, so far as he was concerned. No doubt in the +restless desire of change coming after such a fall and disappointment +it was a great sacrifice; but as he said, "There did not seem +anything left for him in life but just to try to do what seemed most +like one's duty." And then he said it did not seem a worthy thing to +do nothing, but just exist on a confined income, and the only thing +he did know anything about, and was not too old to learn, was +farming, and managing an estate. + +Trevorsham would want an agent, for old Hall was so old, that my +brother had really done all his work for a year or two past; and he +had felt his way enough to know he could get appointed to the agency, +if he chose. The house was to be let, but there was a farm to be had +about two miles off, with a good house, and he thought of taking it, +and stocking it, and turning regular farmer on his own account; while +looking after the property, and bringing Alured up among his own +people and interests. + +Bertram did not like this at all. "Among all our old friends and +acquaintance? Impossible! unbearable!" he said. + +But Fulk's answer, was-- "Better so! If we went to a strange place, +and tried to conceal it, it would always be oozing out, and be +supposed disgraceful. If my sisters can bear it, I had rather +confront it straightforwardly--" + +"And be _pitied_"--said Bertram, with _such_ a contemptuous tone. + +Nobody, however, thought it would be advisable for him to give up the +New Zealand plan, nor did he ever mean it for a moment; indeed, he +declared that he should go and prepare for us; for that we should +very soon get tired of Skimping's Farm, and come out to him; meaning, +of course, that our dear charge would be over. + +He even wanted Jaquetta to come with him at once, and the log huts +and fern trees danced before her eyes as the blue spectacles had done +before mine; but she did not like to leave me, and Fulk would not +encourage it, for we both thought her much too young and too tenderly +brought up to be sent out to a wild settler's life alone with +Bertram, and without a friend near. + +To be farmers' sisters where we had been the Earl's daughters--well, +I had much rather then that it had been somewhere else; but I saw it +was best for Baby and still more so for Fulk, and clear little Jaquey +held fast to me and to him, and so it was settled! + +Our friends and relatives had much rather we had all emigrated. They +did not know what to do with us, and would have been glad to have had +us all out of sight for ever, "damaged goods shipped off to the +colonies." We felt this and it heartened us up to stay out of the +spirit of opposition. + +Old Aunt Amelia, who fussed and cried over us, and our two uncles, +who gave us good advice by the yard! Alas! I fear we were equally +ungrateful to them, both cold and impatient. No, we did not bear it +really well, though they said we did. We had plenty of pride and +self-respect, and that carried us on; but there was no submission, no +notion of taking it religiously. I don't mean that we did not go to +church, and in the main try to do right. Any one more upright than +my brother it would have been hard to find; but as to any notion that +religious feeling could help us, and that our reverse might be +blessed to us, that would have seemed a very strange language indeed! + +And so we were hard, we would bear no sympathy but from one another, +and even among ourselves we never gave way. + +People admired us, I fancy, but were alienated and disappointed, and +we were quite willing _then_ to have it so. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. SKIMPING'S FARM. + + + +Skimping's Farm was the unlucky name of the place, and Fulk would +allow of no modification--his resolution was to accept it all +entirely. Now I love no spot on earth so well. It was very +different then. + +The farm-house lay on the slope of the hill, in the parish of +Trevorsham, but with the park lying between it and the main village. +The ground sloped sharply down to the little river, which, about two +miles lower down, blends with the Avon, being, in fact, a creek out +of Shinglebay. Beneath the house the stream is clear and rocky, but +then comes a flat of salt marsh, excellent for cattle; and then, +again, the river becomes tidal, and reaches at high water to the +steep banks, sometimes covered with wood, sometimes with pasture or +corn. + +Then under the little promontory comes the hamlet of fisherfolk at +Quay Trevor; and then the coast sweeps away to Shinglebay town, as +anyone may see by the map. + +Ours is an old farm, and had an orchard of old apple-trees sloping +down to the river--as also did the home field, only divided by a low +stone wall from the little strip of flower-garden before the house, +which in those days had nothing in it but two tamarisks, a tea-tree, +and a rose with lovely buds and flowers that always had green hearts. + +There was a good-sized kitchen-garden behind, and the farm-yard was +at the side by the back door. The house is old and therefore was +handsome outside, even then, but the chief of the lower story was +comprised in one big room, a "keeping-room," as it was called, with +an open chimney, screened by a settle, and with a long polished +table, with a bench on either side. Into this room the front porch-- +a deep one, with seats--opened. At one end was a charming little +sitting-room, parted off; at the other, the real kitchen for cooking, +and the dairy and all the rest of the farm offices. + +Up-stairs--the stairs are dark oak, and come down at one end of the +big kitchen--there is one beautiful large room, made the larger by a +grand oriel window under the gable, one opening out of it, and four +more over the offices; then a step-ladder and a great cheese-room, +and a perfect wilderness of odd nooks up in the roof. + +As to furniture, Fulk had bought that with the stock and everything +else belonging to the farm for a round sum; and the Chancery people +told us that we might take anything for ourselves from home that had +been bought by ourselves, had belonged to our mother, or been given +to us individually. + +So the furniture of Fulk's rooms in London--most of which he had had +at Oxford--my own piano, our books, and various little worktables, +chairs, pictures, and knicknacks appertained to us; also, we brought +what belonged to the little one's nursery, and put him in the large +room. His grand nurse--Earl though he was--could not stand the +change; but old Blake, who was retiring into a public house, as he +could do nothing else for us, suggested his youngest sister, who +became the comfort of my life, for she was the widow of a small +farmer, and could give me plenty of sound counsel as to how much pork +to provide for the labourers, and how much small beer would keep them +in good heart, and not make them too merry. And she had too much +good sense to get into rivalry with Susan Sisson, the hind's wife, +who lived in a kind of lean-to cottage opening into the farm-yard, +and was the chief (real) manager of the dairy and poultry--though +such was not Jaquetta's view of the case by any manner of means. + +What a help it was to have one creature who did enjoy it all from the +very first! + +The parting with Bertram was sore, and one's heart will ache after +him still at times, though he is prosperous and happy with his wife +and fine family at the new Trevorsham. Fulk went through it all in a +grave set way, as if he knew he never should be happy again, and +accepted everything in silence, as a matter of course, not wanting to +sadden us, but often grieving me more by his steady silence than if +he had complained. + +One thing he was resolved on, that he would be a farmer out and out-- +not a gentleman farmer, as he said; but though he only wore +broadcloth in the evening and on Sundays, I can't say he ever +succeeded in not looking more of the gentleman. + +We fitted up the little parlour with our prettiest things, and it was +our morning room, and we put a screen across the big keeping-room, +which made it snug for a family gathering place. But those were the +days when everyone was abusing the farmers for not living with their +labourers in the house, and Fulk was determined to try it, at least +the first year, either for the sake of consistency, or because he was +resolved to keep our expenses as low as possible. "Failure would be +ruin," he impressed on us, and he thought we ought to live on the +profits of the farm, except what was directly spent on the boy, and +to save the income of the agency. (Taking one year with another, we +did so.) + +So he gave up his own dear old Cid, and only used the same horses +that had sufficed for our predecessor--a most real loss and +deprivation--and he chose to take meals at the long table in the +keeping-room with the farm servants. He said we girls might dine in +our little parlour apart, but there was no bearing that, and the +whole household dined and supped together. Breakfast was at such +uncertain times that we left that for the back kitchen, and had our +own little round table by the fire, or in the parlour, at half-past +seven; and so we took care to have a good cup of coffee for Fulk when +he came in about five or six; but the half-past twelve dinner and +eight o'clock supper were at the long table, our three selves and +Baby at the top--Baby between me and Mrs. Rowe ("Ally's Rowe," as he +called her), then George and Susan Sisson opposite each other, the +under nurse, the two maids, the hind, and the three lads. + +I believe it was a very awful penance to them at first. We used to +hear them splashing away at the pump and puffing like porpoises; and +they came in with shining faces and lank hair in wet rats' tails, the +foremost of which they pulled on all occasions of sitting down, +getting up, or being offered food. + +But they always behaved very well, and the habit of the animal at +feeding-time is so silent that I believe the restraint was +compensated by the honour; and it did civilise them, thanks, perhaps, +to Susan's lectures on manners, which we sometimes overheard. + +Fulk made spasmodic attempts to talk to Sisson; but the chief +conversation was Jaquetta's. She went on merrily all dinner-time, +asking about ten thousand things, and hazarding opinions that +elicited amusement in spite of ourselves: as when she asked, what +sheep did with their other two legs, or suggested growing canary +seed, as sure to be a profitable crop. Indeed, I think she had a +little speculation in it on her own account in the kitchen garden-- +only the sparrows were too many for her--and what they left would not +ripen. + +But the child was always full of some new and rare device, rattling +on anyhow, not for want of sense, but just to force a smile out of +Fulk and keep us all alive, as she called it. She knew every bird +and beast on the farm, fed the chickens, collected the eggs, nursed +tender chicks or orphan lambs and weaning calves, and was in and out +with the dogs all day, really as happy as ten queens, with the +freedom and homely usefulness of the life--tripping daintily about in +the tall pattens of farm life in those days, and making fresh +enjoyment and fun of everything. + +I used to be half vexed to see her grieve so little over all we had +lost; but Fulk said, "I suppose it is very hard to break down a +creature at that age." + +And even I was cheered by the wonderful start of health Alured took +from the time Mrs. Rowe had him. He grew fat and rosy, and learnt to +walk; and Dr. Hart was quite astonished at his progress, and said he +was nearly safe from any more attacks of that fearful water on the +brain till he was six or seven years old, and that, till that time, +we must let him be as much as possible in the open air, and with the +animals, and not stimulate his brain--neither teach, nor excite, nor +contradict him, nor let him cry. The farm life was evidently the +very thing he wanted. + +What a reprieve it was, even though it should be only a reprieve! + +He was already three years old, and was very clever and observant. + +We were glad that he was too young to take heed of the change, or to +see what was implied by his change from "baby," to "my lord," and we +always called him by his Christian name. Mrs. Rowe felt far too much +for us to gossip to him, and he was always with her or with me, +though I do believe he liked Ben--the great, rough, hind--better than +anyone else; would lead Mrs. Rowe long dances after him, to see him +milk the cows, and would hold forth to him at dinner, in a way as +diverting to us as it was embarrassing to poor Ben, who used to blurt +out at intervals, "Yoi, my lord," and "Noa, my lord," while the two +maids tried to swallow their tittering. The farmers at market used +to call Fulk, "my lord," by mistake, and then colour up to their eyes +through their red faces. + +I believe, indeed, it was their name for him among themselves, and +that they watched him with a certain contemptuous compassion, in the +full belief that he would ruin himself. + +And he declares he should if he had lived a bit more luxuriously, or +if he had not had the agency salary to help him through the years of +buying experience and the bad season with which he began. + +Nor was it till he had for some years introduced that capital breed +which thrives so well in the salt marshes, and twice following showed +up the prize ox at the county show, that they began to believe in +"Farmer Torwood," or think his "advanced opinions" in agriculture +anything but a gentleman's whimsies. + +As to friends and acquaintance, I am afraid we showed a great deal of +pride and stiffness. They were kinder than we deserved, but we +thought it prying and patronage, and would not accept what we could +not return. + +It is not fair to say we. It was only myself--Jaquetta never saw +anything but kindness, and took it pleasantly, and Fulk was too busy +and too unhappy to be concerned about our visiting matters. If I saw +anyone coming to call I hid myself in the orchard, or if I was taken +by surprise I was stiffness itself; and then I wrote a set of cards +(Miss Torwood and Miss Jaquetta Torwood), and drove round in the +queer old-fashioned gig to leave them, and there was an end of it; +for I would accept no invitations, though Jaquetta looked at me +wistfully. And thus I daunted all but old Miss Prior. Poor old +thing! All her pleasures had oozed down from our house in old times +to her; and her gratitude was indomitable, and stood all imaginable +rebuffs that courtesy permitted me. I believe she only pitied and +loved me the more, and persevered in the dreadful kindness that has +no tact. + +It did not strike me that pleasure might be good for Jaquetta, or +that Fulk's stern silent sorrow might have been lightened by variety. +Used as he had been to political life and London society, it was no +small change to have merely the market for interest, the farm for +occupation, and no society but ourselves; no newspaper but the County +Chronicle once a week; no new books, for Mudie did not exist then, +even if we could have afforded it. We had dropped out of the guinea +country book club, and Knight's "Penny Magazine" was our only fresh +literature. However, Jaquetta never was much of a reader, and was +full of business--queen of the poultry, and running after the weakly +ones half the day, supplementing George Sisson's very inadequate +gardening--aye, and his wife's equally rough cooking. She found a +receipt book, and turned out excellent dishes. She could not bear, +she said, to see Fulk try to eat grease, and with an effort at +concealment, assisted by the dogs, fall back upon bread and cheese. + +Luckily plain work in the school-room had not gone out in our day, +and I could make and mend respectably, but I had to keep a volume of +Shakespeare, Scott, or Wordsworth open before me, and learn it by +heart, to keep away thoughts, which might have been good for me; but +no--they were working on their own bitterness. + +Sunday was the hardest day of all to Fulk, for this was the only one +on which he could not be busy enough to tire himself out. We were a +mile from church, and when we got to the worm-eaten farm pew there +was a smell, as Jaquey said, as if generations of farmers had been +eating cheese there, and generations of mice eating after them; and +she always longed to shut up a cat there. + +The old curate was very old, and nothing seemed alive but the fiddles +in the gallery--indeed, after the "Penny Magazine" had made us +acquainted with the Nibelung, Jaquey took to calling Sisson, Folker +the mighty fiddler, so determined were his strains. + +After the great house was shut up, one service was dropped, and so +the latter part of the day was spent in a visit to all the livestock, +Fulk laden with Alured, and Jaquetta with tit bits for each and all. + +She and Alured really enjoyed it, and we tried to think we did! And +then Fulk used to stride off on a long solitary walk, or else sit in +the porch with his arms across, in a dumb heavy silence, till he saw +us looking at him; and then he would shake himself, and go and find +Sisson, and discuss every field and beast with him. + +At least we thought we should have been at peace here; but one +afternoon, when Jaquetta had gone across to the village to see some +purchase at the shop, she came back flushed and breathless, and said +as she sat down by me, "Oh! Ursie, Ursie, I met Miss Prior; and _she_ +has bought Spinney Lawn." + +_She_ was Hester; it had never meant anyone else amongst us when it +was said in that voice. Fulk, when we told him, had, it appeared, +known it for some days past. All he said was, "Well! she has every +right." + +And when I exclaimed, "Just like a harpy, come to watch our poor +child!" he said, "Nonsense." + +But I knew I was right, and sat brooding--till presently he said, +"Put that out of your head, Ursula, or you will not be able to behave +properly to her." + +"I don't see any good in behaving properly to her," said Jaquetta. +"What business has she to come here?" + +"I do not choose to regale the neighbourhood with our family jars"-- +said Fulk, quietly. + +And then--such a ridiculous child as Jaquetta was--she burst out +laughing, and cried, "What a feast they would be! Preserved crabs, +I suppose;" and she brought a tiny curl into the corner of his mouth. + +My pride was up, and I remember I answered, "You are right, Fulk. No +one shall say we are jealous, or shrink from the sight of her!" + +"When Smith told me that he had no idea who was the bidder, or he +would not have suffered it," said Fulk, "I told him I could have no +possible objection!" + +And so we endured it in our pride and our dignity. + +Lady Hester Lea was the heroine of the neighbourhood. The romance of +the disowned daughter was charming; and I was far too disagreeable to +excite any counterbalancing pity. She was handsome, and everybody +raved about her likeness to poor papa and the family portraits; and +her Montreal convent had given her manners quite distinct from +English vulgarity; or, maybe, her blood told on her bearing, for she +was immensely admired for her demeanour, quite as much as for her +beauty. + +Old Miss Prior--whom no coldness on my part could check in her +assiduous kindness, and nothing would hinder from affectionately +telling us whatever we did not want to hear--kept us constantly +informed of the new comer's triumphs. Especially she would dwell +upon the sensation that Lady Hester produced, and all that the +gentlemen said of her. Her name stood as lady patroness to all the +balls and fancy fairs, and archery, that Shinglebay produced; and +there was no going to shop there without her barouche coming +clattering down the street with the two prancing greys, and poor +little Trevor inside, with a looped-up hat and ostrich feather +exactly like Alured's; for by some intention she always dressed him +in the exact likeness of his little uncle's. I used to think Miss +Prior told her, and sedulously prevented her ever seeing his lordship +out of his brown holland pinafores, but the same rule still held +good. + +What tender enquiries poor Miss Prior used to make after "the dear +little lord," as she called him. My asseverations of his health and +intelligence generally eliciting that it was current among Lady +Hester's friends that he could neither stand nor speak, and was so +imbecile that it was a mercy that he could not live to be eight years +old. + +Of course that was what Hester was waiting for. And no small +pleasure was it when Alured would come pattering in with a shout of +"Ursa, Ursa," and as soon as he saw a lady, would stop, and pull off +his hat from his chestnut curls like the little gentleman he always +was. + +Spinney Lawn was bought before Joel Lea came to England. If he had +seen where it was I doubt whether he would have consented to the +purchase; but Perrault managed it all, and then, with what he had +made out of the case, bought himself a share in Meakin's office at +Shinglebay, and constituted himself Lady Hester's legal adviser. + +Mr. Lea, after vainly trying to get his wife to return to Sault St. +Pierre, thought it wrong to be apart from her and his son, and came +to England. + +Fulk went at once to call on him, expecting to be disgusted with +Yankeeisms; but came home, saying he had found a more unlucky man +than himself! + +Fancy a great, big, plain, hard-working back-woodsman, bred only to +the axe and rifle, with illimitable forests to range in, happy in +toil and homely plenty, and a little king to himself, set down in an +English villa, with a trim garden and paddock, and servants +everywhere to deprive him of the very semblance to occupation! + +Poor man! he had not even the alleviation of being proud of it, and +trying to live up to it. Puritan to the bone of his broad back, he +thought everything as wicked as it was wearisome and foolish; and +lived like Faithful in "Vanity Fair," solely enduring it for the sake +of his wife and son. I suppose he could not have carried her off, or +altered her course without the strong hand; for she was a determined +woman, all the more resolute because she acted for her child. + +He was a staunch Dissenter, and would not go to church with Lady +Hester, who did so as a needful part of the belonging of her station, +or, perhaps, to watch over us, but trudged two miles every Sunday to +the meeting-house at Shinglebay, where he was a great light, and +spent all that she allowed him on the minister and the Sunday school. + +As to society, he abhorred it on principle, and kept out of the way +when his wife gave her parties. If she had an old affection for him +in the depths of her heart, it was swallowed up in vexation and +provocation; and no wonder, for the verdict of society, as Miss Prior +reported it, was--"How sad that such a woman as Lady Hester should +have been thrown away on a mere common man--not a bit better than a +labourer." + +I detested him like all the rest; but Fulk declared he was sublime in +passive endurance, and used to make opportunities of consulting him +about cattle or farming, just to interest him. + +Fulk and the dissenting minister were the only friends the poor man +had, and the latter Hester would not let into her house. As to +Perrault, he loathed and shrank from him as the real destroyer of all +his peace, and still the most dangerous influence about his wife. He +never said so, but we felt it. + +I think the poor man's happiest hours were spent here; and, now and +then in a press of work, or to show how a thing ought to be done, he +put his own hand to axe, lever, or hay-fork, and toiled with that +cruelly-wasted alert strength. + +Fulk always says there never was anyone who taught him so much as +Joel Lea, and he means deeper things than farming. + +Sometimes Mr. Lea brought his little boy. I was vexed at first; but +Alured, who had hardly spoken to a child before, was in ecstasies, as +if a new existence had come upon him; and Trevor Lea was really a +very nice little boy. He was only half a year the elder; and they +were so much alike that strangers did not know them apart, dressed +alike, as they were; or they were taken for twins, and it made people +laugh to find they were uncle and nephew. + +And I must allow the nephew was the best behaved, though it made me +savage to hear Fulk say so. But our Ally's was not real naughtiness- +-only the consequence of our not being able to keep up discipline, +while we lived in dread of that seventh year that might rob us of +our darling--always sweet and loving. + + + + +CHAPTER V. SPINNEY LAWN. + + + +A change or two began to creep into our life. One afternoon, as +Jaquetta, in her pretty pink gingham and white apron, with her black +hair in the Grecian coil we used to wear when our heads were allowed +to be of their own proper size, was gathering crimson apples from the +quarrendon tree close to the river, a voice came over the water-- + +"Oh, my good girl, if you would but stand so a minute, and allow me +to sketch you!" + +Jaquetta started round and laughed. No doubt she was looking like an +Arcadian; but I--as from under the trees I saw two gentlemen on the +other side of the little stream, and jumped up to come to her +defence--I must have looked more like a displeased if not draggle- +tailed duchess, for there was an immediate disconcerted begging of +our pardons, and a hasty departure. + +Jaquetta made a very funny account of my spring forward in awful +dignity, so horribly affronted at her being called a good girl! and +she made Fulk laugh heartily. The gloom did seem to be lightening on +him now. + +Walking tourists, we supposed, though one we thought was a clergyman; +and on Sunday we saw him in the desk and the draughtsman in the +parsonage pew; and we discovered that these were the proposed new +curate, Mr. Cradock, and his younger brother. Our rector was a canon +who had bad health and never came near us, and the poor old curate +was past work, and, indeed, died a week or two after he had given up. + +I saw that younger brother colour up to the roots of his bright hair +as Jaquetta walked up the aisle, in her drawn black silk bonnet with +the pink lining (made by herself); and I think she coloured too, for +she was rosier than usual when we faced round in the corners of our +pew. + +We saw no more of them for a month, and a dainty, bridal-looking +little lady appeared in the parsonage seat, with white ribbons in her +straw bonnet, and modest little orange flowers in the frill round her +pleasant face. + +Mrs. Cradock she was, we heard; and not only Miss Prior, but Fulk, +wanted us to call on her. + +"What's the use?" said I. "Farmers' families are not on visiting +terms with the ladies of the parsonage." + +Poor Jaquey uttered an "Oh dear!" but she and Fulk knew I was past +moving in that mood. + +However, one morning in the next week, in walked Fulk into the +keeping-room, and the clergyman with him, and found Jaquey and me +standing at the long table under the window, peeling and cutting up +apples for apple-cheese. + +"Mr. Cradock, my sister," he said, just in the old tone when he +brought a friend into our St. James's-street drawing-room; and he +hardly gave time for the shaking of hands before he had returned to +the discussion about the change of ministry, just with the voice and +animation I had not seen for two whole years. + +We went on with our apples. For one thing, we were not wanted; for +another, there was no fire in the little parlour, and the gentlemen +both seemed to be enjoying the bright one that was burning on the +hearth. + +The only difficulty was that dinner time began to approach. The men +could not be kept waiting; and I heard Alured awake from his sleep, +pattering about and shouting; and as we began to gather up our apples +one of the maids peeped in with a table-cloth over her arm. + +Mr. Cradock saw, though Fulk did not, and said his wife would expect +him; and then he looked most pleasantly to me, and said he was not +at all wanted at home, while his wife was luxuriating in a settlement +of furniture; but this was, he was assured, the last day of +confusion, and to-morrow she would be quite ready for all who would +be so good as to call on her. + +I could only say I would do myself the pleasure; and then he still +waited a moment to say that his brother Arthur could not recover from +his dismay at his greeting to Miss Torwood. + +"But," he said, "the boy's head was quite turned by the beauty of the +country. He had been raving all day about the new poet, Alfred +Tennyson, and I believe he thought he had walked into lotus-land." + +"Nearer the dragon of the Hesperides, perhaps," said Fulk, laughing. +"Is he with you now?" + +"No; he has gone back to Oxford. He is in his second year; and +whether he takes to medicine or to art is to be settled by common- +sense or genius." + +"Oh, but if he has genius?" began Jaquetta eagerly. + +"That's the question," said Mr. Cradock, laughing. "But I am +hindering you shamefully," and with that he took his leave, having +quite demolished our barriers. + +And his wife was of the same nature--simple, blithe, and bonny--ready +to make friends in a moment; and though she must have known all about +us, never seeming to remember anything but that we were her nearest +lady neighbours. + +Jaquetta, whose young friendships had been broken short off, because +the poor girls really did not know how to correspond with her under +present circumstances, took to Mrs. Cradock with eager enthusiasm, +and tripped across the park to her two or three times a week, and +became delightedly interested in all her doings, parochial or +otherwise. + +Dear Jaquey's happy nature had always been content; but when I saw +how exceedingly she enjoyed the variety, liveliness, and occupations +brought by the Cradocks, I felt that it had been scarcely kind to +seclude her to gratify my own sole pride; but then there had been +nobody like the Cradocks--to drop or be dropped. + +The refreshment to Fulk was even greater. The having a man to +converse with, and break his mind against, one who would argue, and +who really cared for the true principles of politics, made an immense +difference to him. When after tea he said he would walk to the +parsonage to see how the debate had gone, and we knew we should not +see him till half-past ten, we could not but be glad; it must have +been so much pleasanter than playing at chess, listening to our old +music, or reading even the new books they lent us. + +He brightened greatly that winter, and I ceased to fear that he was +getting a farmer's slouch. He looked as stately and beautiful as +ever Lord Torwood had done, and the dejection had gone out of his +face and bearing, when suddenly it returned again; and as Miss Prior +was away from home, I never found out the cause till one day, as I +was shopping at Shinglebay, and was telling the linen draper that Mr. +Torwood would call for the parcel, I saw the lady at the other +counter start and turn round, as if at a sudden shock. + +Then I saw the white doe eyes, full of the old pleading expression, +and the lips quivering wistfully, but I only said to myself, "The old +arts! That is what has overthrown Fulk again;" and away I went with +a rigid bow, and said nothing. + +There was no exchange of calls. That was not my fault, for we could +not have begun; and we heard that Mrs. Deerhurst said, "The Torwoods +had shown very good taste in retiring from all society, poor things. +Only it was a great mistake to remain in the neighbourhood--so +awkward for everybody!" + +Mrs. Cradock was much struck with Emily's sweet looks; but I believe +that Jaquetta told her all about it, and we never met the Deerhursts +there. + +In fact they were not intimate, for there must have been a repulsion +between Mrs. Deerhurst and such a woman as Mary Cradock. + +The Deerhursts owned a villa on the outskirts of Shinglebay; indeed, +I believe it was the difficulty in letting it that had unwillingly +forced Mrs. Deerhurst home, after having married her second daughter, +but not Emily. She was only a mile and a half from Spinney Lawn, and +speedily became familiar there, being as entirely Hester's counsellor +in etiquette as was Perrault on business. People saw a marked +improvement in elegance from the time she became adviser. + +That next winter poor Joel Lea died. I suppose it was merely the +dulness and want of exercise that killed him, for he had lost flesh +and grown languid in manner for months before a low fever set in, and +he had no power to struggle with it. + +He had been ill a long time, when he sent a message to beg Mr. +Torwood to come and see him. Jaquetta and I persuaded ourselves that +he had discovered that Perrault had suborned witnesses, or done +something that would falsify the whole trial. + +Jaquetta said she should be very glad for Fulk, and if it happened +now little Alured would never feel it; but for her own part, she +should hate to go back to be my lady again. She had never known +before what happiness was. + +I could not help laughing. Nobody had ever detected anything amiss +with Lady Jaquetta Trevor's spirits, but that they were too high at +times. + +"Of course I don't mean that I was miserable!" she said; "but there's +something now that does make everything so delicious." + +"Could you not take that something to the park?" I asked, laughing. + +"I don't know! It would not be so bad if I could run in and out at +the parsonage as I do now." + +And as I smiled, it smote me as I recollected that Arthur Cradock was +always at the parsonage in the vacations. Jaquetta had been sketched +many a time as nymph of the orchard, and many a nymph besides. And +if he was yielding to his brother's wisdom in making medicine his +study and art his pleasure, was not our unconscious maiden the sugar +that sweetened the cup of prudence? Might not elevation be as sore a +trial to her as depression had been to us? + +However, our troubling ourselves was all nonsense. Good Joel Lea +would never have connived at any evil doings. All he had wanted of +Fulk was to be certain of his forgiveness for the injury he had +suffered through his wife, and to entreat him to keep a watch over +her and the boy. + +"You are her brother, when all is come and gone," he said; "and I do +not trust that Perrault. If ever he fails her, or turns against her, +you'll stand her friend, and look to the boy?" + +Fulk heartily promised, and Joel further begged him to write to her +eldest brother, Francis Dayman (who was prospering immensely in the +timber trade), and let him know the state of things--though he had +been so angered at Hester's sacrifice of his mother's good name and +his own birth, that he had broken with her entirely. + +"But if anyone can get her out of Perrault's hands, it is Francis," +poor Joel said; and he went on to talk of his poor boy, about whom he +was very anxious, having no trust in any of Hester's intimates, and +begging Fulk to throw a good word to him now and then. + +"He thinks much of you," he said. "I heard him tell Miss Deerhurst +that it was no use for anyone to try to be such an out-and-out +gentleman as his uncle, for they couldn't do it, and he had rather be +like you than anyone else. I don't care for gentlemen, and all that +foolery, as you know. I wish I could leave him to my old mate, Eli +Potter; but you are true and honest, Fulk Torwood, and I think not so +far from the kingdom--" + +Then he asked Fulk to read a chapter to him. No one else would do +so, except little Trevor, when now and then left alone with him; but +Hester would not believe him seriously ill, and thought the Bible +wearied him and made him low spirited; and as to his friend the +Dissenter, she would never admit him. + +Fulk was so indignant that he wanted to drive to Shinglebay and fetch +Mr. Ball, but Lea thanked him and half smiled at his superstition of +thinking that a minister was needed to speed his soul; but he was +pleased that Fulk came to him on each of the four or five remaining +days of his life, and read to him whatever he wished. + +He sank suddenly at last, while Hester was at church on Sunday +morning, and died when alone with Fulk. + +Somehow the intense reality of that man and the true comfort his +faith was to him made an immense impression on my brother, and +seemed, as it were, to give the communication between his religious +belief and his feelings, which had somehow not been in force before. +He thought and borrowed books from Mr. Cradock, and there came a +deepening and softening over him, which one saw in many ways, that +made him dearer than ever. He looked more at peace, even though one +felt that each passing sight of Emily was a sting. + +Hester was dreadfully stricken down at first, and her anguish of +lamentation and self-reproach was terrible to witness; but she would +not hear of Fulk's fetching either of us--indeed, I fancy that was +the fault of my dry, cold looks--nor would she allow him to do +anything for her. + +Mrs. Deerhurst came to be with her, and Perrault managed everything. + +They had a magnificent funeral--much grander than my father's--and +laid him in the family vault. + +Perrault took the opportunity of insulting Fulk by pairing him with +old Hall, the ex-agent; but Hall found it out in time, and refused to +go, and when the moment came everybody fell back, and Fulk found +himself close to poor little Trevor, who tried to get his hand out of +Perrault's and cling to him; but Perrault held him tight till, at the +moment when they moved to the mouth of the vault and were to go down +the steps, terror completely seized the poor child, and he began to +shriek so fearfully that Fulk had to snatch him up and carry him out +of the church, trembling from head to foot. + +It was very cruel to send a sensitive child of six years old in that +way; but Hester was too much exhausted with her violent grief to go +herself, and, devoted mother as she was in all else, she never +perceived that poor child's instinctive shrinking from Perrault. + +We tried to be kind to her, and hoped she would soften towards us; +but she did not. I could see her eyes glitter with their keen, +searching glance under her crape veil, as if she were measuring +Alured all over when the child walked into church with me; and, +indeed, when he went to the Zoological Gardens some time later, and +saw the cobra di capello, he said-- + +"Ursa, why does that snake look at me just like Lady Hester?" + +There must have been fascination in the eager mystery of the gaze, +for, strangely enough, he was not afraid of her. She always made +much of him if he came in her way, and he was so fond of Trevor Lea +that nothing made him so eager or happy as the thought of seeing him. + +The one idea that her boy was ousted by Alured, and the longing to +see him the heir, seemed to drive out everything else from Hester-- +almost feeling for her husband. + +Fulk had written to Francis Dayman, and he intended to come and see +after his sister as soon as he could leave his business; but this +rather precipitated matters. Hester was persuaded that Alured could +not live through that eighth year of his life at the utmost, and +Perrault somehow persuaded her, that only as her husband could he +protect her interests and Trevor's, though what machinations she +could have expected from us, I cannot guess; or how, in the case of a +minor, we could have interfered with her rights. But the man had +gained such an ascendancy over her, that she did not even perceive +that the connection was not good for that great object of hers, her +son's position in society. In fact, he persuaded her that he was of +a noble old French family, and ought to be a count. How we laughed +when we heard of it! She did preserve wisdom enough to insist upon +having her fortune conveyed to trustees for her son, so that Perrault +could only touch the income, and not the principal; and as she told +everyone that he had been determined upon this being done, I suppose +he saw that any demur would excite her suspicion. + +They went to London, and were married there, while we were still +scouting poor Miss Prior's rumours. We were very sorry when we +thought of poor Joel's charge; and, besides, "the count" had an +uncomfortable slippery look about him. I can't describe it +otherwise. He was a slim, trim, well-dressed man, only given to +elaborate jewellery and waistcoats, with polished black hair and +boots, and keen French-looking eyes, well-mannered, and so versatile +and polite, that he soon overcame people's prejudices; and he was +thought to make a much better master of the house than poor Joel had +ever done. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. THE WHITE DOE'S WARNING. + + + +Here was Alured's eighth birthday, and he had never been ill at all, +but was as fine-looking healthy a boy as could be seen. + +We took him to London, and showed him to Dr. Hart, and he said that +the old tendency was entirely outgrown, and that Lord Trevorsham was +as likely to live and thrive as any child of his age in England. + +It really seemed the beginning of a new life, not to have that +dreadful fear hanging over us any longer! We felt settled, that was +one thing; not as if we should do as Bertram expected, have to come +off to New Zealand. + +The farm had just began to pay. Fulk's sales of cattle had been, for +the first time, more than enough to clear his rent. He had a great +ox in the Smithfield Cattle Show, and met our Lupton uncles there not +as an unsuccessful man. + +And I? I had a dim feeling that Alured would soon cease to need me, +and Jaquetta would not be claimed for a long time; and if-- + +But in the midst of that I saw a haggard face driving in the park by +the side of a little, over-dressed, faded woman. + +And Aunt Amelia told me how (in the rebound from my harshness, no +doubt) Mr. Decies had, as it were, dropped into the hands of a weak, +extravagant girl, who had long been using all the intellect she had +to attract him, and now led him a dreary life of perpetual +dissipation. + +I don't know how much I had been to blame. I am sure he was meant +for better things. Mine could never have been real love for him, and +the refusal could not have been wrong. It must have been the pride +and harshness that stung him! + +I was very sorry for him, though I could not think about it, of +course, still less speak; but that was the beginning of my hating +myself, and I have hated myself more and more ever since I have taken +to write all this down, and seen how hard and foolish I was, how very +much the worst of the three. + +Even my care for Alured sprang out of exclusive passion, and so, +though I do think that by Heaven's mercy I had a great share in +cherishing him into strength and health, I had managed him badly, +I had indulged him over much, and was improperly resentful of any +attempt of Jaquetta, or even of Fulk, to interfere with him or +restrain him. + +Thus, when the anxiety was over, and he was a strong boy, full of +health and activity, his will was entirely unrestrained, he had no +notion of minding any of us, still less of learning. Trevor Lea +could read, write, talk French, say a few Latin declensions, when +Alured could not read a word of three letters, and would not try to +learn. + +Oh! the antics he played when I tried to teach him! Then Fulk tried, +and he was tame for three days, but then came idleness, wilfulness, +anger, punishment, but he laughed to scorn all that we could find in +our hearts to do to him. + +As to getting other help we were ashamed till he should be a little +less shamefully backward. The Cradocks offered to teach him, but +then, unless he was elaborately put on honour, he played truant. + +He had plenty of honour, plenty of affection, but not the smallest +conscience as to obedience; and Fulk would not have the other two +motives worked too hard, saying the one might break, the other give +way. + +We had not taught obedience, so we had to take the consequences, and +we were the less able to enforce it that he had come to a knowledge +of our mutual relations much sooner than we intended, and in the +worst manner possible. + +Of course he knew himself to be Lord Trevorsham, and owner of the +property; but one day, when Fulk found him galloping his pony in the +field laid up for hay, and ordered him out, he retorted that "You +ain't my proper brother, and you haven't any rights over me! It is +my field; and I shall do as I like." + +Fulk got hold of the pony's bridle, and took Alured by the shoulder +without one word, then took him into the little study, and had it out +with him. + +It was Hester who had told him. He had been at Spinney Lawn with +Trevor all one afternoon, when we had thought him out with old +Sisson. He had told no falsehood indeed, but Hester and her husband +had made him understand, so far as such a child could do, that there +was some disgrace connected with us; that Fulk had once been in his +place, and only wanted to get it back, and now had it all his own way +with his young lordship's property, and that he owed us neither duty +nor affection, only to his true relative, Lady Hester Perrault. + +The dear boy had maintained stoutly that he did love Ursula and +Jacquey, and that Hester wasn't half so nice, and that he had rather +they bullied him than that she coaxed him! But there was the poison +sown--to rankle and grow and burst out when he was opposed. He had +full faith and trust in Fulk, and accepted his history, owning, +indeed, from a boy, that he had been a horrid little wretch for +saying what he did, and asking whether it had not been a great bore; +indeed, he behaved all the better instead of the worse for some +little time, dear fellow. + +But he was too big and strong to tie to one's apron-string, and his +greatest pleasure was in being with Trevor. I think Trevor's own +influence never did any harm. Poor Joel Lea had trained him well, +and he was a conscientious, good boy, who often hindered Alured from +insubordination; but the attraction to Spinney Lawn was a mischievous +thing--for there was no doubt that the heads of the family would set +him against us if they could. + +So Fulk thought it wiser to send him to school, since he was learning +nothing properly at home, and only getting more disobedient and +unruly. + +Immediately Trevor Lea was sent to the same school, to the boys' +great delight. They cared little that Trevor was placed nearly at +the top and Trevorsham at the bottom of the little preparatory +school. They held together just as much, and Alured came home +wonderfully improved and delightfully good, but more than ever +inseparable from Trevor. + +In the meantime Francis Dayman had come to pay his sister a visit. +He had made some fortunate speculations, and had come on to be a +merchant of considerable wealth and weight in the Hudson's Bay +Company. + +A handsome man of a good deal of strength and force he seemed to be, +and Perrault had certainly been wise in securing his prize before +Hester had such a guardian. + +He was an open, straight-forward man, with a fresh breath of the +forest about him; successful beyond all his hopes, and full of +activity. He took to Fulk, and seemed to have a strong fellow- +feeling for us. + +But little had Fulk expected to be made the confidant of his vehement +admiration for Emily Deerhurst. The gentle lady-like girl impressed +the backwoodsman in a wondrous manner. It seemed to him, as if his +wealth would have real value, if he could pour it all out on her. + +And her mother encouraged him. Emily was six years older than when +she had cast off Fulk, and there was a pale changed look about her; +and the rich Canadian, who could buy a baronetcy, and do anything she +asked, tempted Mrs. Deerhurst. + +Though, as Fulk said bitterly, if the stain on his birth was all the +cause of the utter withdrawal, was it not the same with Francis +Dayman? Only in his case it was gilded! + +Dayman knew nothing of this former affair. The world was forgetting +it, and if Hester knew it, she kept it from his knowledge, so he used +to consult Fulk as to what was to be done to please an English lady, +and whether he was too rough for her; and Fulk stood it all. He even +knew when the young lady herself was brought forward--and refused, +gently, sadly, courteously, but unmistakably; and then, when driven +hard by the eager wooing, owned to an old attachment, that never +would permit her to marry! + +What a light there was in Fulk's eyes when he whispered that into my +ears! And yet he had kept his counsel, even though Mr. Dayman told +him that the mother declared it to be a foolish romantic affair of +very early girlhood, that no doubt his perseverance would overthrow. + +"And her persecution!" muttered poor Fulk. But he did enjoy the +confidences in a bitter-sweet fashion. It was justifiable to be a +dog in the manger under the circumstances. + +Mr. Dayman went to London, and Hester was negotiating about a house +where Mrs. Deerhurst and her daughters were to stay with her for a +few weeks. I fancy Mrs. Deerhurst thought that the chance of seeing +Farmer Torwood ride by to market had a bad effect. It was the Easter +holidays, and both boys were at home; always trying to be together, +and we not finding it easy to keep Alured from Spinney Lawn, without +such flat refusals as would have given his sister legitimate cause of +complaint and offence. + +One beautiful spring afternoon, when Alured, to my vexation and vague +uneasiness, had gone over there, I was sowing annuals in the garden +and watching for him at the same time, when, to my surprise, I saw, +coming over the fields from the park, a lady with a quick, timid, yet +wearied step. Had she lost her way, I thought? There was something +of the tame fawn in her movement; and then I remembered the white +doe. Yes! it was Emily! + +The one haunting anxiety of my life broke out-- "You haven't come to +say there's anything amiss with my boy?" I cried out. + +"No; oh no! I think he is safe now; but I wanted to tell you, I +think you ought to be warned." + +She was trembling so much that I wanted to bring her in and make her +rest; but she would only sit down on the step of the stile, and there +she whispered it, in this way. + +"You know there's a dreadful scarlet fever at old Brown's." + +"The old man that sells curiosities? No, I did not know it; I'll +keep Trevorsham away," I said, wondering she had come all this way; +and then asking in a fright, "Surely he has not been there?" + +"No; I met him on the road with Lady Hester Perrault, and I told +them. I walked back to Spinney Lawn with them. But," as I began to +thank her, and her voice went lower still, "but--oh, Ursula, Lady +Hester knew it!" + +"Knew it!" + +"Yes, knew it quite well." + +"She was doing it on purpose!" + +"Oh," Emily hid her face in her hands, "I pray God to forgive me if +I am doing a very cruel wicked wrong; but I can't help thinking it. +I had told her only yesterday how bad the fever was in that street. +She said she had forgotten it, and thanked me; but she had not her +own boy, Trevor, with her. + +I was too much frozen with the horror of the thing to speak at first, +and perhaps Emily thought I did not quite believe her, for she said, +under her breath, "And I've heard her talk--talk to mamma--about her +being so certain that Lord Trevorsham could not live, even when he +was past seven years old. They always have said that the first +illness would go to his head and carry him off. And when people do +wish things very much--" And then she grew frightened at herself, and +began blaming herself for the horrible fancy, but saying it haunted +her every time she saw Lord Trevorsham in Lady Hester's sight. That +old ballad, "The wee grovelling doo," would come into her head, and +she had felt as if any harm happened to the child it would be her +fault for not having spoken a word of warning, and this had +determined her. + +By this time I had taken it in, and then the first thing I did was to +spring up and ask how she could leave the boy still in the woman's +power, to which she answered that she had walked them back to Spinney +Lawn--a whole mile--and that Lady Hester could not set forth again, +now that Alured had heard the conversation. + +He had been bent on going to buy a tame sea-gull there, as a birthday +present for Trevor; and Emily had lured him off from that, by a +promise of getting one from an old fisherman whom she knew. So there +was not much fear of his running back into the danger, though I +should not have a happy moment till he was in my sight again. + +Then Emily sprang up, saying, she must go. She had walked four +miles, and she must get back as fast as she could. Most likely mamma +would think her at Spinney Lawn. + +But what must not it have cost that timid thing to venture here with +her warning! + +It gave me a double sense of the reality of my boy's, peril, that she +had been excited to it, and she would not hear of coming in to rest; +and when I entreated her to wait till I could get the gig to drive +her part of the way, she held me fast, and insisted, with all the +terror of womanly shamefacedness, that, "he--that Tor--that Mr. +Torwood--should not know." And she sprang up to go home instantly, +before he could guess. + +"Oh, Emily, that is too bad, when nothing would make him so glad." + +"Oh! no, no! he has been used too ill; he can't care for me now, and +as if I should--" + +I don't think poor Emily uttered anything half so coherent as this, +at any rate I understood that she disclaimed the least possibility of +his affection continuing, and felt it an outrage on herself to be +where she could even suppose herself to have voluntarily put herself +in his way. + +I thought there was nothing for it but to let her start, hurry after +her with some vehicle, and then call and bring home my boy; but in +the midst of my perplexity and her struggle with her tears, who +should appear on the scene but Fulk himself, driving home the spring +cart wherein, everybody being busy, he had conveyed a pig to a new +home. + +I don't know how it was all done or said. My first notion was that +he should be warned of our dear boy's danger, and rescue him before +anything else. I could not get into my head that there was no +present reason for dread, and yet when I had gasped out "Oh, Fulk-- +Alured--Fetch him home! Emily came to warn us!" the accusation began +to seem so monstrous and horrible that I could not go on with it +before Emily. She too, perhaps, found it harder to utter to a man +than to a woman, and between the strangeness of speaking to one +another again, and her shyness and his wonder and delight, it seemed +to me unreasonable that poor little Alured's danger was counting for +nothing between them, and I turned from the former reticence to the +bereaved tigress style, and burst out, "And are we to stand talking +here while our boy is in these people's power?" + +Then Fulk did listen to what it was all about; but even then it +seemed to me he would not think half so much of the peril as of what +Emily had done. In truth, I believe all they both wanted was to get +out of my way; but they pacified me by Fulk's undertaking, if Emily +did not object to the cart, to drive her across the park where no one +would meet her, and she could get out only a mile from home, and to +call at Spinney Lawn in returning by the road and take up Alured. + +What a drive that must have been! Fulk had the advantage over Emily +in knowing what poor Mr. Dayman had told him, whereas she, poor +child, only knew that he had been so vilely served that she thought +his affection and esteem had been entirely killed. + +They had it all out in that tax cart, a vehicle Fulk now regards as a +heavenly chariot, and I heard it all afterwards. + +Poor Emily! she had grown a great deal older in those six years. At +eighteen she had implicitly believed in her mother. Mrs. Deerhurst +had been so good all those years of striving not to frighten my +father, that she had been perfection in her daughter's eyes. Emily +had believed with all her heart in her apparent disinterestedness, +and her hopes and sympathy for us were real; and so, when the crash +really came, and she told the poor girl with floods of tears that it +was impossible, and a thing not to be thought of, for a right-minded +woman to unite herself to a man of such birth. And poor Emily, with +the conscious ignorance of eighteen, believed, and was the sort of +gentle creature who could easily be daunted by the terror that her +generous impulses to share the shame and namelessness were unfeminine +and wrong. The utter silence had been the consequence of her mother +assuring her, with authority, that the true kindness was to betray no +token of feeling that could cherish hope where all was hopeless, and +that he would regret her less if she commanded herself and gave him +no look. + +It had been terrible, calm self-command, and obedience to abused +filial confidence in her mother's infallibility. + +And then Mrs. Deerhurst had been sinking ever since in her daughter's +esteem, as Emily could not but rise higher from the conscientious +struggle and self-denying submission, and besides grew older and had +more experience; while Mrs. Deerhurst, no doubt, deteriorated in the +foreign wandering life, and all her motives made themselves evident +when she married the younger daughter. + +Emily had thought for herself, and seen that advantage had been taken +of her innocence, and that her betrothed had rights, which, if she +had been older, she would not have been persuaded to ignore. But +coming home, two years later, and meeting my cold eyes and Fulk's +ceremonious bow, and hearing on all parts that he had accepted his +position and had a hard struggle to maintain his two sisters; she, +knowing herself to be portionless, could but suffer, and be still. + +Of course every attempt of her mother's to get her to marry +advantageously, and, even more, Mrs. Deerhurst's devotion to Lady +Hester, tore away more and more of the veil she had tried to keep +over her eyes; and as her youngest sister grew up into bloom, and +into the wish for society, Emily had been allowed more and more to go +her own quiet way in the religious and charitable life of Shinglebay, +where she had peace, if not joy. + +And then came the Dayman affair, when all the old persecution revived +again, and Emily's foremost defence against him, her blushing +objection to his birth, was set aside as a mere prudish fancy of a +young girl. + +The gentle Emily had been irate then, and all the more when her +mother tried to cover her inconsistency by alleging that everybody +knew of Lord Torwood's fall, whereas no one knew or cared who Francis +Dayman was, or where he came from. Henceforth Emily's shame at the +usage of Fulk had been double--or rather it turned into indignation. +Reports that he was to marry a rich grazier's daughter had no effect +in turning her in pique to Dayman. She had firmly told her mother +that if it were wrong for her to take the one, it must be equally so +to take the other. + +This Mrs. Deerhurst had concealed from poor Mr. Dayman; nor would +Emily's modesty allow her to utter the objection to the man's own +face. So Mrs. Deerhurst encouraged him, and trusted to London +reports of the grazier's daughter, and persevering appeals to that +filial sense of duty which had been strained so much too far. + +And now, how did it stand? + +When I, secure in knowing that Alured was safe at home, thinking it +abominable nonsense in Miss Deerhurst to have bothered about scarlet +fever, Hester herself had said so. When I could hear Fulk's +happiness, and try to analyse it, what did it amount to? + +Why, that they knew they loved one another still, and never meant to +cease. And with what hopes? Alas! the hopes were all for some time +or other. Emily would do nothing in flat disobedience, and there was +little or no hope of her mother's consent to her marrying Farmer +Torwood. She meant to tell her mother thus much, that she had seen +him, and that they loved each other as much as ever; and as Mrs. +Deerhurst had waived the objection to Dayman, it could not hold in +the other case. It would be, in fact, a tacit compact--scarcely an +engagement--with what amount of meeting or correspondence must be +left for duty and principle to decide, but the love that had existed +without aliment for six years might trust now. And "hap what hap," +there never was a happier man than my Fulk that evening. + +He was too joyous not to be universally charitable. Nay, he called +it a blessed fancy of Emily's that brought her here, as it was +Emily's, and had brought him such bliss he could not quite scorn it, +but he did not, _could_ not believe in it as we did. It was culpable +carelessness in Hester, but colonial people had been used to such +health that they did not care about infection. But it was a glorious +act of Emily's! In fact the manly mind could believe nothing so +horrible of any woman. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. HUNTING. + + + +Emily told Mr. Dayman the whole truth. Poor fellow! he could not +face Fulk again, and went back to Canada. + +No doubt Emily went through a great deal, but we never exactly knew +what. + +Fulk wrote to Mrs. Deerhurst, stating that he hoped in four years' +time to be able to purchase the farm, of which he had the lease, and +without going into the past, asking her sanction to the engagement. + +She sent a cold letter in answer, to desire that the impertinence +should not be repeated. + +And Emily wrote that her mother would not hear of the engagement, and +she knew Fulk would not wish her to deceive or disobey, "And so we +must trust one another still; but how sweet to do that!" + +And when any of us met her there were precious little words and +looks, and Fulk meant to try again after the four years. In the +meantime he was much respected, and had made himself a place of his +own. It chafed Hester to perceive that though she had pulled us down +she could not depress us after the first. She had lowered her +position, too, by her marriage. At first Perrault was on his good +behaviour, and made a favourable impression among the second-rate +Shinglebay society Hester got round her; but as the hopes of the +title coming to her diminished, he kept less within bounds, did not +treat her well at home, and took to racing and gambling. + +I never could get Fulk to share my alarms about Alured, but he did +not think Perrault's society fit for the boy, told Alured so, and +forbade him to go to Spinney Lawn. But though Alured was much +improved as to obedience, it was almost impossible to enforce this +command. Hester had some strange fascination for him. She would +fiercely caress him at times, and he knew she was his sister, and +could not see why, when she was often alone, he should not be with +her. The passion for Trevor was in full force, too, and the boys +could not be content only to meet at the farm. We tried sending +Alured to make visits from home in the holidays, but he did not like +it, and he was not happy; his heart was with his home, and with +Trevor. We tried having a tutor for the spring holidays before he +went to Eton, but it did not answer. He was not a sensible man, did +not like dining in the keeping-room with the household, and though he +did it, he showed that he thought it a condescension. + +Moreover, instead of attending to Alured, he was always trying to +flirt with Jaquetta, infinitely disturbing Arthur Cradock's peace; +and the end of it was, that Alured was a great deal more left to his +own devices than ever he had been before, and exasperated besides. + +He was in that mood, when one day, as he was riding along the lanes, +he met Perrault and Trevor coming in from hunting. + +Alured had a very pretty pony, but he was growing rather large for +it, and Fulk had promised that, if he worked well at Eton, he should +have a lovely little Arab, that was being trained by a dealer he +knew; and that another year, Fulk himself would go out hunting with +him. + +Perrault began to pity him for having missed the run. Why did not +his brother take him out? Fulk's old mare was a sort of elephant, +and it was not convenient to get another horse just then. That +Alured knew and explained, but he was pitied the more for being kept +back, and Perrault ended by saying that if on the next hunting day he +could meet them at the corner of the park, a capital mount should be +there for him. + +The hour was attainable if Alured made haste with his studies, and he +accepted gladly, and without compunction. Fulk had never in so many +words forbidden him, and besides, Fulk had delegated his authority to +the hateful tutor. + +But the next morning, before Alured was up Trevor was in his bedroom. +"You won't go, Trevorsham?" + +"Yes, I shall; I'm not such a muff as to stay for that fellow." + +But I need not try to tell what passed, as of course I did not hear +it; I never so much as knew of it till long after, only Trevorsham +was determined, and Trevor tried all round the due arguments of +principle, honour, and duty; but Alured had worked up a schoolboy +self-justification on all points, and besides had the stronghold of +"I will," and "I don't care." + +Then Trevor told him, under his breath, he was sure it was not a safe +horse. But my high-spirited boy laughed this to scorn. "And perhaps +he'll play you some trick," added Trevor. But Trevorsham was still +undaunted in his self-will, till Trevor resolutely announced his +determination, if nothing else would stop it, of going at once to +Fulk, and informing him. + +The boy endured all the rage and scorn that a threat so contrary to +all schoolboy codes of honour and friendship might deserve. I +believe Alured struck him, but at any rate Trevor Lea gained his +point, though at the cost of a desperate quarrel. + +Alured held aloof and sulked at him for the remaining fortnight at +home, and only vouchsafed the explanation to us that "Lea was a +horrid little sneak, and he had done with him." + +They did not make it up till they met in the same house at Eton, and +then, though Trevor was placed far above Alured, they became as +friendly as ever. In fact, I believe, Alured, having imprudently +denominated himself by his full title, was having it kicked out of +him, when the fortunate possessor of the monosyllabic name came and +stood by him and made common cause, to the entire renewing of love. + +Poor Trevor! his was a dreary home. His mother loved him +passionately, but she was an anxious, worn, disappointed woman, +always craving, restless and expectant of something, and Perrault was +always tormenting her for money. He was deeply in debt, and though +he could not touch the bulk of her fortune--neither, indeed, could +she, as it was conveyed to trustees--he was always demanding money of +her, and bullying her; while matters grew worse and worse, and they +were in danger of having to let Spinney Lawn and go to live abroad. + +As to keeping Trevor at Eton that was becoming impossible. At +Christmas the tutor consulted Fulk about how he should get Lea's +bills paid, and intimated that he must not return unless this were +done. + +And poor Trevor himself had little comfort except with us. We +encouraged him to come to us, for we had all come to have a very real +love for the dear lad himself, and we saw he was unhappy at home; +besides that, it was the only way of keeping Alured contented. + +Trevor had entirely left off inviting Alured to Spinney Lawn. +Partly, he was too gentlemanly and good a boy not to be ashamed of +the men who hung about the stables; and besides, we now perceive that +the same awful impression that was on Emily Deerhurst was upon him, +and that he had a sense that Trevorsham was regarded in a manner that +made his presence there a peril. + +He was but a boy, and it was an undefined horror, and he never +breathed a word of it; but oh, there was a weight on that young brow, +an anxious look about the face, and though now and then he would be +all joy and fun, still there was the older, more sorrowful look about +him. + +We thought he was grieving at not going back to Eton, and Fulk was +living in hopes of an answer to the letter he had written to Francis +Dayman about it, but that was not all. One day--Christmas Eve it +was--Mr. Cradock, on coming into the church to look at the holly +wreaths, found Trevor kneeling on his father's gravestone in the +pavement, sobbing as if his heart was breaking, and heard between the +sobs a broken prayer about "Forgive"--"don't let them do it"--"turn +mother's heart." + +Then Mr. Cradock went out of hearing, but he waited for the boy +outside, and asked if he could do anything for him. + +"No." Trevor shook his head, thanked him, and grew reserved. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. DUCK SHOOTING. + + + +Alured's thirteenth birthday was on the 10th of January, and he had +extracted a promise from Fulk, to take him duck-shooting to the mouth +of our little river. + +Nothing can be prettier than our tide river by day, with the +retreating banks overhung with trees, the long-legged herons standing +in the firs, looking like toys in a German box; while the breadth of +blue water reflects the trees that bend down to it. + +But, on a winter's night, to creep in perfect silence and lie still +under an overhanging bank, not daring to make a sound, till you could +get a shot at the ducks disporting themselves in the moonlight, on +the frozen mud on the banks! Such an occupation could only be +endurable under the name of sport. + +However, Fulk and Bertram had had their time, and now Alured was +having the infection in his turn; but Trevor was driven over to spend +the day, much mortified that he had a bad broken chilblain, which +made his boots unwearable, and it was the more disappointing, that it +was a very hard frost, and there was a report that some wild swans +had been seen on the river. + +But in the course of the day Jaquetta routed out a pair of India +rubber boots which, with worsted stockings beneath, did not press the +chilblains at all, and after having spent all the day in snow-balling +and building forts, Trevor declared himself far from lame, and +resolved not to lose the fun. He had not come equipped, so Alured +put him into an old grey coat and cap of his own, and merrily they +started in the frosty moonlight, with dashes of snow lying under the +hedges, and everything intensely light. Fulk grumbling in fun at +being dragged away from his warm fire, and pretending to be grown +old, the boys shouting to one another full of glee, all the dogs in +the yard clamouring because only the wise old retriever, Captain, was +allowed to be of the party; Arthur Cradock making ridiculous mistakes +on purpose between the uncle and nephew, Trevorsham and Sham Trevor, +as he called them. + +Alas! Nay, shall I say alas, or only be thankful? + +They had been gone some time when we heard a rapid tread coming +towards the porch. Something in the very sound thrilled Jaquetta and +me at once with dismay. We darted out, and saw Brand, the head +gamekeeper in the park. + +"Never fear, my lady; thank God," he said, "my lord is quite safe. +It is poor Master Lea who is hurt; and Mr. Torwood sent me up for +some brandy, and a mattress, and a lantern, and some cloths." + +That assured us that he was alive, and we ran to fulfil the request +in the utmost haste, without asking further questions, and sending +off Sisson to ride for the poor mother, and to go on to Shinglebay +for the doctor, though, to our comfort, we knew that Arthur had +almost finished his surgical education, and was sure to know what was +to be done. + +"A stray shot," we said again and again to each other; and we called +Nurse Rowe, and made up a bed in Alured's old nursery, and lighted a +fire, and were all ready, with hearts beating heavy with suspense +before the steps came back--my poor Alured first, as we held the door +open. How pale his face looked! and his brows were drawn with +horror, and his steps dragging, saying not a word, but trembling, as +he came and held by me, with one hand on my waist, while Fulk and +Sisson carried in the mattress, Arthur Cradock at the side, and +Perrault, who had joined them, walking behind with the flask. + +Dear Trevor lay white with sobbing breath and closed eyes, the cloths +and mattress soaked through and through with blood. They put him +down on the keeping-room table, and Arthur poured more brandy into +his mouth. + +I said something of the room being ready but Arthur said very low "He +is dying--internal bleeding;" and when Jaquetta asked "Can nothing be +done?" he answered, "Nothing but to leave him still." + +"Trevorsham," murmured the feeble voice, and Alured was close to him; +"Ally! you are all right!" and then again, as Alured assured him he +would be better-- "No, I shan't; I'm so glad it wasn't you. I always +thought he'd do it some day, and now you're quite safe, I want to +thank God." + +We did not understand those words then; we did soon. + +The weak voice rambled on, "to thank God; but oh, it hurts so--I +can't--I will when I get there." Then presently "Mother!" + +"She'll come very soon," said Alured. + +"Mother! oh, mother! Trevorsham, don't let them know. O Trev, +promise, promise!" + +"Promise what? I promise, whatever it is! Only tell me," entreated +Alured. + +"Take care of her--of mother. Don't let--" and then his eyes met +Perrault's, and a shudder came all over him, which brought the end +nearer; and all another spoonful of brandy could do was to enable him +to say something in Alured's ear, and then a broken word or two-- +"forgive--glad--pray;" and when we all knelt and Fulk did say the +Lord's Prayer, and a verse or two more, there was a peaceful loving +look at Fulk and Jaquetta and me, and then the whisper of the Name +that is above every name, as a glad brightness came over the face, +and the eyes looked upwards, and so grew set in their gaze, and there +was the sound one never can forget. + +Nurse Rowe laid her hand on Alured's neck, as he knelt with his head +close to Trevor's. Fulk and I looked at each other, and we knew that +all was over. + +They had tried in vain to check the bleeding. No one could have done +more than Arthur had done, but a main artery had been injured, and +nothing could have saved him. He had said nothing after the first +cry, except when he saw Alured's grief. "Never mind; I'm glad it was +not you." And once or twice, as they carried him home, he had begged +to be put down, though they durst not attend to the entreaty, and +Arthur did not think he had suffered much pain. + +It jarred that just as we would have knelt for one silent prayer, +Perrault's voice broke on us. "Ah! poor boy, it is better than if it +lasted longer! I saw that half-witted fellow, Billy Blake about. +So I don't wonder at anything; but of course it was a mere accident, +and I shall not press it." + +Scarcely hearing him, I had joined Mrs. Rowe in the endeavour to +detach Alured from his dear companion, when there was poor Hester +among us, with open horror-stricken eyes, and a wild, frightful +shriek as she leapt forward; and no words can describe the misery of +her voice as she called on her boy to look at her, and speak to her-- +gathering him into her bosom with a passionate, desperate clasp, that +seemed almost an outrage on the calm awful stillness of the innocent +child; and Alured involuntarily cried, "Oh, don't," while Fulk spoke +to her kindly; but just then she saw her husband, and sprang on her +feet, her eyes flashing, her hands stretched out, while she screamed +out, "You here? You dare to come here? You, who killed him!" Fulk +caught her arm, saying, "Hush! Hester; come away. It was a +lamentable accident, but--" + +"Oh!" the laugh she gave was the most horrible thing I ever heard. +"Accident! I tell you it has been his one thought to make accidents +for Trevorsham! And he hated my child--my dear, noble, beautiful, +only one! He made him miserable, and murdered him at last!" + +She gave another passionate kiss to the cheeks, and then just as I +hoped she was going to let us lead her away, she darted from us, +rushed past Mr. Cradock who was entering the porch, and in another +moment, he hurrying after her, saw her rush down the steep grassy +slope, and fling herself into the swollen rapid stream. + +His shout brought them all out, and Fulk found him too in the river, +holding her, and struggling with the stream, which winter had made +full and violent, and the black darkness of the shadows made it hard +to find any landing place, and he was nearly swept away before it was +possible to get them out of the river; and Fulk was as completely +drenched as he was when they brought poor Hester, quite unconscious, +up to the house, and brought her to the room that had been prepared +for her son; and there Dr. Brown and Arthur gave us plenty to do in +filling hot-water baths and warming flannels, or rubbing the icy +hands and feet. Only that constant need of exertion could have borne +us through the horror of it all. But it was not over yet. There was +a call of "Ursula," and as I ran down, I found Fulk standing at the +bottom of the stairs with Alured in his arms looking like death! + +"I found him on the parlour sofa, the little window and the +escritoire open!" Fulk said breathlessly, "the villain!" + +"I'm not hurt," said dear Alured's voice, faintly, but reassuringly, +"Oh! put me down, Fulk." + +We did put him down on the floor--there was no other place--with his +head on my lap, and I found strange voices asking him what Perrault +had done to him. "Oh! nothing! 'twasn't that. Yes, he's gone, out +by the window." + +He swallowed some wine and then sat up, leaning against me as I sat +at the bottom of the stairs, quite himself again, and assuring us +that he was not hurt; Perrault never touched him--"Threatened you, +then," said Fulk. + +"No," said Alured, as if he hadn't spirit to be indignant; "I meant +him to get off." + +"Lord Trevorsham!" cried a voice in great displeasure, and I saw that +Mr. Halsted, the nearest magistrate, was standing over us. + +"He told me--Trevor did"--said Alured. + +"Told you to assist the murderer to escape!" exclaimed Mr. Halsted. + +Alured let his head fall back, and would not answer, and Fulk said, +"There is no need for him to speak at present, is there? The +constable and the rest are gone after Perrault, but I do not yet know +what has directed the suspicion against him." + +And then at the stair foot, for there was no other place to go to, we +came to an understanding, the two gentlemen and Brand the keeper +standing, and I seated on the step with my boy lying against me. I +could not trust him out of my sight, nor, indeed, was he fit to be +left. + +It seems that Brand had been uneasy about the number of shooters whom +the report of the swans had attracted; and though the bank of the +river was not Trevorsham ground, he had kept along on the border of +the covers higher up the hill, to guard his hares and pheasants. + +Thus he had seen everything distinctly in the moonlight against the +snowy bank below; and he had observed one figure in particular, +moving stealthily along, in a parallel line with that which he knew +our party would take, though they were in shadow, and he could not +see them. + +Suddenly, a chance shot fired somewhere made all the ducks fly up. +A head and shoulders that Brand took for his young lord's, appeared +beyond the shadow, beside Fulk's; and, at the same moment, he saw the +man whom he had been watching level his gun from behind, and fire. +Then came the cry, and Brand running down in horror himself, was +amazed to see this person doing the same, and when they came up with +the group, he recognised Perrault; and found, at the same time, that +Trevor was the sufferer, and that Lord Trevorsham was safe. He then +would have thought it an accident, but for Perrault's own needless +wonder, whence the shot came, and that same remark, that Billy Blake, +the half-witted son of a farmer, was about that night. + +Brand, a shrewd fellow, restrained his reply, that Mr. Perrault knew +most about it himself. He saw that the most pressing need was to +obey Fulk in fetching necessaries from our house, and that Perrault +meant to disarm suspicion by treating it as an accident, so he +thought it best to go off to a magistrate with his story, before +giving any alarm; feeling certain, as he said, that the shot had been +meant for the Earl; as indeed, Perrault's first exclamation on coming +up showed that he too had expected to find Trevorsham the wounded +one. + +Mr. Halsted had sent for the constable and came at once, though even +then inclined to doubt whether Brand had not imputed accident to +malice. But Perrault's flight had settled that question. During the +confusion, while Hester was being carried upstairs, the miscreant had +the opportunity of speaking to the child. + +"Drowned! No, she is not drowned; but she may be the other thing if +you don't get me off! What, don't you understand? Let the law lay a +finger on me, and what is to hinder me from telling how your sweet +sister has been plotting to get you--yes, you, out of the way of her +darling. No, you needn't fear, there's nothing to get by it now. +Lucky for you you brought the poor boy out, when I thought him safe +by the fire nursing his chilblain. But mind this, if I am arrested, +all the story shall come out. I'll not swing alone. If I fired, she +pointed the gun! And you may judge if that was what poor Trevor +meant by his mutterings to you about 'mother.'" + +"But what do you want?" Alured asked. He had backed up against the +wall; he was past being frightened, but he felt numb and sick with +horror, and ready to do anything to get the wretch out of his sight. + +"I want a clear way out of the house and all the cash you can get +together. What! no more than that? I'd not be a lord to be kept so +short. Find me some more." + +Alured knew I should forgive him, and he took my key from my basket, +unlocked the escritoire, and gave him my purse of household money, +undid the shutters, and helped Perrault to squeeze himself through +the little parlour window; and then, as he said, something came over +him, and he just reached the sofa, and knew no more. + +He did not tell all this about Hester before Mr. Halsted; only when +Fulk, finding how shaken he was, had carried him upstairs, and we had +taken him to his room, he asked anxiously whether anyone had heard +Hester say that dreadful thing, and added, "Then if Mr. Perrault gets +away no one will know--about her." + +"Was that why you helped him?" we asked. + +"Trevor told me to take care of her," he said; and then he told us of +Perrault's arguments, but we ought not to have let him talk of them +that night, for it brought back the shuddering and sobbing, and the +horror seemed to come upon him, so that there was no soothing him or +getting him calm till the doctor mixed an anodyne draught; and let it +go as it would with Hester, I never left my boy till I had crooned +him to sleep, as in the old times. + + + + +CHAPTER 9. TREVOR'S LEGACY. + + + +Jaquetta bore the brunt of that night, and showed the stuff she was +made of, for poor Hester had only revived to fall into a most +frightful state of delirium, raving and struggling so that the doctor +and Arthur could hardly hold her. + +So it went on for hours, Alured the only creature asleep in the +house, and we not daring to send for any help from without, poor +Hester's exclamations were so dreadful. + +Poor Alured! his waking was sad enough! He had loved Trevor with all +his heart, and the wonder that anyone could be so wicked oppressed +him almost as much as the grief. The remnants of the opiate hung +upon him, too, and he lay about all day, hardly rousing himself to +speak or look, but giddily and drowsy. + +Not till the inquest was it perceived how cleverly Perrault had taken +his measures, so that had he not made the mistake between the two +boys, he would scarcely have been suspected: certainly not but for +Brand's having watched him. + +The report of the wild swans was traced to him. No doubt it was as +an excuse for a heavier charge, for poor Trevor was wounded with shot +that would not have been used merely for ducks, and besides, the +other shooters it attracted would be likely to make detection less +easy. Indeed, Fulk had seen that there were enough men about to +spoil their sport, and but for the boys' eagerness, would have turned +back. + +Moreover it was proved that Perrault had in the course of the morning +met Billy Blake, and asked him if he meant to bag the swan--if he +followed the young lord's party and fired when they did, he would be +sure to bring something down. He did not know that the Blakes never +let the poor fellow load his old gun with anything but powder. + +Then his joining the horrified group, as if he had been merely after +the ducks, and had been attracted by the cry, had entirely deceived +us; and but for Hester's accusation, Brand's evidence, and his own +flight, together with all the past, might have continued to do so. + +He had gone to his own house, as it afterwards turned out, entered so +quietly that the listening, watching servants never heard him, +collected all the valuables he could easily carry away, changed his +dress, and gone off before the search had followed him thither. + +A verdict of wilful murder was returned against him at the inquest, +but it is very doubtful whether he could have been convicted of +anything but manslaughter; for even if the intention could have been +proved, without his wife, whose evidence was inadmissible, the malice +was not directed against his victim, but against Trevorsham. We +could not but feel it a relief day by day, that nothing was heard of +him; for who could tell what disclosures there might be about the +poor thing who lay, delirious, needing perpetual watchfulness. +Arthur devoted himself to the care of her, and never left us, or I do +not see how we could have gone through it all. + +Alured was well again, but inert and crushed, and heartless about +doing anything, except that he walked over to Spinney Lawn, and +brought home Trevor's dog, to which he gave himself up all day, and +insisted on having it in his room at night. + +The burial was in the vault--nobody attended but Fulk and Alured, not +even Arthur, for though the poor mother was not aware of what was +going on, it was such a dreadful day with her, that he durst not +leave us alone to the watch. It was enough to break one's heart to +stand by the window and hear her wandering on about her Trevor coming +to his place, and not being kept from his position; while we watched +the little coffin carried across the field by the labouring men, with +those two walking after it. Our boy's first funeral was that of the +friend who had died in his stead. + +We were glad to send him back to Eton, out of the sound of his poor +sister's voice; though he went off very mournfully, declaring that he +should be even more wretched there without Trevor than he was at +home; and that he never should do any good without him. But there he +was wrong, I am thankful to say. Dear Trevor was more a guide to him +dead than living. Trevor's chief Eton friend, young Maitland, a +good, high-principled, clever boy, a little older, who had valued him +for what he was, while passing Alured by as a foolish, idle little +swell, took pity upon him in the grief and dejection of his loss--did +for him all and more than Trevor could do, and has been the friend +and blessing of his life, aiding the depth and earnestness that +seemed to pass into our dear child as he hung over the dying lad. +Yes, Trevor Lea and John Maitland did for our Trevorsham what all our +love and care had never been able to do. + +Meantime Hester's illness took its course. The chill of that icy +water had done great harm, and there was much inflammation at first, +leaving such oppression of breath that permanent injury to the lungs +was expected, and therefore it was all the sadder to see the dumb +despair with which she returned to understanding, I can hardly say to +memory, for I believe she had never lost it for a moment. + +Hopeless, heedless, reckless, speechless, she was a passive weight, +lying or sitting, eating or drinking as she was bidden, but not +making any manifestation of preference or dislike, save that she +turned rigidly and sullenly away from any attempt to read prayers to +her. + +She asked no questions, attempted no employment, but seemed to care +for nothing, and for weeks uttering nothing but a "yes," "no," or a +mechanical "thank you." Jaquetta tried to caress her, by force of +nursing and pity. Jaquetta really had come to a warm tender love for +her, but she sullenly pushed away the sweet face, and turned aside. + +We never ventured to leave her alone, and this, after a time, began +to vex her. She bade us go down once or twice, and tried to send +away Mrs. Rowe; and at last, when she found it was never permitted, +she broke out angrily one day, "You are very absurd to take so much +trouble to hinder what cannot make any difference." + +It made one's blood run cold, and yet it was a relief that the +silence was broken. I can't tell what I said, only I implored her +not to think so, and told her that her having been rescued was a sign +that Heaven would have her repent and come back, but she laughed that +horrible laugh. "Do you think I repent?" she said; "No, only that I +left it to that fool! I should have made no mistakes." + +I was too much horrified to do anything but hide my eyes and pray. I +thought I did not do so obviously, but Hester saw or guessed, stamped +at me, and said, "Don't; I will not have it done. It is mockery!" + +"Happily you cannot prevent our doing that, my poor Lady Hester," I +said. + +"All I wish you to do is, what you would do if you had a spark of +natural feeling." + +"What?" I asked, bewildered at this apparent accusation of +unkindness. + +"Leave me to myself. Send me from your door. Not oppress me with +this ridiculous burthensome care and attention, all out of the family +pride you still keep up in the Trevors!" she sneered. + +"No, Hester. Sister Hester, will you not believe it is love?" I +said, thinking that if she would believe that we loved her and +forgave her, it might help her to believe that her Father above did. +I had never called her by her name alone before; but I thought it +might draw her nearer; but it made her only fiercer. + +"Nonsense," she said, "I know better." + +And then she fell into the same deadly gloom; but I think she had +almost a wild animal's longing for solitude; for she made a solemn +promise not to attempt her life if we would only leave her alone! + +And we did, though we took care someone was within hearing; for she +was still very weak, and we had not a bell in the house, except a +little hand one on the table. + +So the Easter holidays drew on, and she was still far too weak and +unwell for any thought of moving her; so that we were in trouble +about Alured's holidays, not liking him to come home to a house of +illness that would renew his sorrow, and advising him to accept some +invitations from his schoolfellows; but he wrote that he particularly +wished to come home--he could not bear to be away, and Maitland +wanted to see the place and know all about dear Lea, so might he +bring him home? + +We were only too glad to consent, and I had gone to sleep with +Jaquetta, so as to make room--feeling very happy over the best school +report of our boy we had ever had, though not the best we were to +have. + +He spent two or three days at Mr. Maitland's in London, and then he +and his friend, John, came on here. + +The railway did not come within twenty miles then, and they had to +post from it in flies. How delightful it was to see the tall hat and +wide white collar, as he stood up in the open fly, signalling to us, +and pointing us out to his friend. Only, what must it have been to +the poor sufferer in the room above? + +Oh! did not one's heart go out in prayer for her! + +Out jumped Alured among all of us, and all the dogs at the garden +gate; and the first thing, after his kiss to us all, was to turn to +the fly and take out a flower-pot with a beautiful delicate forced +rose in it. + +"Where's Hester?" he said. + +"My dear child, she has not left her room yet." + +"She is well enough for me to take this to her, I suppose?" he said. +"He always did get some flower like this to bring home to her, you +know, she liked them so much." + +It was just his one idea that Trevor had told him to take his place +to her. We looked doubtfully at each other, but Fulk quietly said, +"Yes, you may go." And added, as the boy went off, "It can do no +harm to her in the end, poor thing!" + +"To her, no; that was not my fear." + +There was Alured, almost exactly what Trevor had been when last she +saw him, with his bright sweet honest face over the rose, running up +the stairs, knocking, and coming in with his boyish, "Good morning, +Hester, I do hope you are better;" and bending down with his fresh +brotherly kiss on her poor hot forehead, "I've got this rose for you, +the bud will be out in a day or two." + +If ever there was a modern version of St. Dorothy's roses it was +there. + +That boy's kiss and his gift touched the place in her heart. She +caught him passionately in her arms, and held him till he almost lost +breath, and then she held him off from her as vehemently. + +"Boy--Trevorsham--what do you come to me for?" + +"He told me," said Alured, half dismayed. "Besides, you are my +sister." + +"Sister, indeed! Don't you know we would have killed you ?" + +"Never mind that," said Alured, with an odd sort of readiness. "You +are my sister all the same, and oh--if you would let me try to be a +little bit of Trevor to you, though I know I can't--" + +"You--who must hate me?" + +"No," said he, "I always did like you, Hester; and I've been thinking +about you all the half--whenever I thought of him." + +And as the tears came into the boy's eyes, the blessed weeping came +at last to Hester. + +He thought he had done her harm, for she cried till she was +absolutely spent, sick, faint and weak as a child. + +But she was like a child, and when her head was on the pillow she +begged for Trevorsham to wish her good-night. I think she tried to +fancy his kiss was Trevor's. + +Any way the bitter black despair was gone from that time. She +believed in and accepted his kindness like a sort of after glow from +Trevor's love. Perhaps it did her the more good that after all he +was only a boy, sometimes forgot her, and sometimes hurried after his +own concerns, so that there was more excitement in it than if it had +been the steady certain tenderness of an older person on which she +could reckon. + +She certainly cared for no one like Trevorsham. She even came +downstairs that she might see him more constantly, and while he was +at home, she seemed to think of no one else. But she had softened to +us all, and accepted us as her belongings, in a matter-of-course kind +of way. Only when he was gone did she one day say in a heavy dreary +tone, that she must soon be leaving us. + +But I told her, as we had agreed, that she was very far from well +enough to go away alone; for indeed, it was true that disease of the +lungs had set in, and to send her away to languish and die alone was +not to be thought of. + +My answer made her look up to me, and say, "I don't see why you +should all be so good to me! Do you know how I have hated you?" + +I could not help smiling a little at that, it had so little to do +with the matter; but I bent down and kissed her, the first time I had +ever done so. + +"I don't understand it," she said, and then pushing me away suddenly. +"No! you cannot know, that I--I--I was the first to devise mischief +against that boy. Perrault would never have thought of it, but for +me! Now, you see whom you are harbouring! Perhaps, you thought it +all Perrault's doing." + +"No, we did not," I said. + +"And you still cherish me! I--who drove you from your home and rank, +and came from wishing the death of your darling, to contriving it!" + +I told her we knew it. And at last, after a long, long silence, she +looked up from her joined hands, and said, "If I may only see my +child again, even from the other side of the great gulf, I would be +ready for any torment! It would be no torment to me, so I saw him! +Do you think I shall be allowed, Ursula?" + +How I longed for more power, more words to tell her how infinitely +more mercy there was than she thought of! I don't think she took it +in then, but the beginning was made, and she turned away no more from +what she looked on at first as a means of bringing her to her boy, +but by-and-by became even more to her. + +Gradually she told how the whole history had come about. She had +thought nothing of the discovery of her birth till her boy was born, +but from that time the one thought of seeing him in the rank she +thought his due had eaten into her heart. She had loved her husband +before, but his resistance had chafed her, and gradually she felt it +an injustice and cruelty, and her love and respect withered away, +till she regarded him as an obstacle. And when she had spent her +labour on the voyage, and obtained recognition from her father-- +behold! Alured's existence deprived her of the prize almost within +her grasp. + +A settled desire for the poor baby's death was the consequence, kept +up by the continued reports of his danger. Till that time she had +prayed. Then a sense that Heaven was unjust to her and her boy +filled her with grim rebellion, and she prayed no more; and Perrault, +by his constant return to the subject and speculations on it, kept +her mind on it far more. + +But Alured lived, and every time she saw him she half hated him, half +loved him; hated him as standing in her son's light, loved him +because she could not help loving Trevor's shadow. + +That day, when Emily met them--it had been a sudden impulse--Alured +had been talking to her about his plans for Trevor's birthday; and, +as he spoke of that street, the wild thought came over her how easily +a fever might yet sweep him away. And yet she says, all down the +street, she was trying to persuade herself to forget Emily's warning, +and to disbelieve in the infection. After all, she thought, even if +she had not met Emily, she should have made some excuse for turning +back, such a pitiful thought came of the fair, fresh face flushing +and dying. + +But it was prevented, only it left fruits; for Perrault had heard +what passed between her and Trevorsham. "Did you take him to the +shop?" he asked. And when she mentioned Miss Deerhurst's reminder, +he said, "Ah! that game wants skill and coolness to carry it out." + +She says that was almost all that passed in so many words; but from +that time she never doubted that Perrault would take any opportunity +of occasioning danger to Trevorsham; and, strange to say, she lived +in a continued agony, half of hope, half of terror and grief and +pity, her longing for Trevor's promotion, balanced by the thought of +the grief he would suffer for his friend. Any time those five years +she told me she thought that had she seen Perrault hurting him, she +should have rushed between to save him; and yet in other moods, when +she planned for her son, she would herself have done anything to +sweep Alured from his path. + +And the frequent discussion with Perrault of plans depending on the +possession of the Trevorsham property, kept the consciousness of his +purpose before her, and as debt and desperation grew, she was more +and more sure of it. + +That last day, when Trevor had been driven away, lamenting his +inability to go out duck shooting, Perrault had quietly said in the +late evening, "I shall take a turn in the salt marshes to-night-- +opportunities may offer." + +The wretch! Fulk thinks he said so to implicate her. + +At any rate it left her shuddering with dread and remorse, yet half +triumphant at the notion of putting an end to Fulk's power over the +estate, and of installing her son as heir of Trevorsham. + +She had no fears for him, she trusted to his lame foot to detain him, +and said to herself that if it was to be, he would be spared the +sight. She was growing jealous of his love for Alured and of us, and +had a fierce glad hope of getting him more to herself. + +And then! oh! poor Hester! + +No wonder her desire was to be + + + Anywhere, anywhere, + Out of the world. + + +But out of all the anguish, the remorse, the despair, repentance grew +at last. Love seemed to open the heart to it. The sense of infinite +redeeming love penetrated at last, and trust in pardon, and with +pardon came peace. Peace grew on her, through increasing self- +condemnation, and bearing her up as the bodily powers failed more and +more. + +There is little more to say. She was a dear and precious charge to +us, and as she grew weaker, she also became more cheerful! and even +that terrible, broken-hearted sense of bereavement calmed. + +She found out about Jaquetta and Arthur, and took great interest in +his arrangements for getting a partnership at Shinglebay. + +"And Hester," said Jaquetta, "it is so lucky for me that I came down +from being a fine lady. I might never have known Arthur; and if I +had, what an absurd creature I should have been as a poor man's +wife!" + +As to the Deerhursts, the mother sent a servant once or twice to +inquire, but never came herself to see her dear friend; and Miss +Prior took care to tell us that there were horrid whispers about, +that Hester had known, and if not, Mrs. Deerhurst could not have on +her visiting list the wife of a man with a warrant out against him! +She thought it very unfeeling in us to harbour her. + +But Emily came. Hester had a great longing to thank her for checking +her on that walk to the scarlet-fever place, and asked Jaquetta one +day to write to her and beg her to come to see a dying woman. + +Emily showed the note to her mother, and did not ask leave. The +white doe had become a much more valiant animal. + +Hester had liked Emily even while Emily shrank from her, and she now +realized what she had inflicted upon her and Fulk. + +She asked Emily's pardon for it, as she had asked Fulk's, and said +that when she was gone she hoped all would come right. Of course the +old position could not be restored, but she knew now why Joel Lea had +such an instinct against it. + +"I feel," she once said, "as if Satan had offered me all this for my +soul, and I had taken the bargain. Aye, and if God's providence had +allowed our wicked purpose, he would have had it too. My husband! he +prayed for me! and my boy did too." + +She always called Joel Lea "my husband" now, and thought and talked +much of their early love and his warnings. I think the way she had +saddened his later years grieved her as much as anything, and all her +affection seemed revived. + +She lingered on, never leaving the house indeed, but not much worse, +till the year had come round again, and we loved her more each day we +nursed her. And when the end came suddenly at last, we mourned as +for a dear sister. + +Perrault wrote once--a threatening, swaggering letter from America, +demanding hush-money. It did not come till she was too ill to open +it--only in the last week before her death, and it was left till we +settled her affairs. + +Then Fulk wrote and told him of the verdict against him, and +recommended him to let himself be heard of no more. And he took the +advice. + +We found that dear Hester had left all the fortune, 30,000 pounds, +which had been settled on herself and Trevor, to be divided equally +between us three. Nor had we any scruple in profiting by it. + +Trevorsham had enough, and it was what my father would have given us +if he could. + +It was enough to make Jaquetta and her young Dr. Cradock settle down +happily and prosperously on the practice they bought. + +And enough too, together with Emily's strong quiet determination, to +make Mrs. Deerhurst withdraw her opposition. Daughters of twenty- +nine years old may get their own way. + +Moreover a drawing-room and dining-room were built on to Skimping's +Lawn, though Alured declares they have spoilt the place, and nothing +ever was so jolly as the keeping-room. + +We had a beautiful double wedding in the summer, in our old church, +and since that I have come to make the old Hall homelike to my boy in +the holidays. + +We are very happy together when he comes home, and fills the house +with his young friends; and if it feels too large and empty for me in +his absence, I can always walk down for a happy afternoon with Emily, +or go and make a longer visit to Jaquetta. + +And I don't think, as a leader of the fashion, she would have been +half so happy as the motherly, active, ready-handed doctor's wife. + +But best of all to me, are those quiet moments when Alured's earnest +spirit shows itself, and he talks out what is in his heart; that it +is a great responsibility to stand in the place such a man as Fulk +would have had--yes--and to have been saved at the cost of Trevor's +life. + +I believe the pure, calm remembrance of Trevor Lea's life will be his +guiding star, and that he will be worthy of it. +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Lady Hester or, Ursula's Narrative +by Charlotte M. 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