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diff --git a/old/4599-8.zip.20100607 b/old/4599-8.zip.20100607 Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7dfd54a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/4599-8.zip.20100607 diff --git a/old/4599-h.zip.20100607 b/old/4599-h.zip.20100607 Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2b75e0d --- /dev/null +++ b/old/4599-h.zip.20100607 diff --git a/old/4599.zip.20100607 b/old/4599.zip.20100607 Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..08ffa38 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/4599.zip.20100607 diff --git a/old/tsllh10.txt b/old/tsllh10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c16df2 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/tsllh10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,28092 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Small House at Allington +by Anthony Trollope +(#30 in our series by Anthony Trollope) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg file. + +Please do not remove this header information. + +This header should be the first thing seen when anyone starts to +view the eBook. Do not change or edit it without written permission. +The words are carefully chosen to provide users with the information +needed to understand what they may and may not do with the eBook. +To encourage this, we have moved most of the information to the end, +rather than having it all here at the beginning. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get eBooks, and +further information, is included below. We need your donations. + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a 501(c)(3) +organization with EIN [Employee Identification Number] 64-6221541 +Find out about how to make a donation at the bottom of this file. + + +Title: The Small House at Allington + +Author: Anthony Trollope + +Release Date: October, 2003 [Etext #4599] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on February 13, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Small House at Allington +by Anthony Trollope +******This file should be named tsllh10.txt or tsllh10.zip****** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, tsllh11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, tsllh10a.txt + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +The "legal small print" and other information about this book +may now be found at the end of this file. Please read this +important information, as it gives you specific rights and +tells you about restrictions in how the file may be used. + +*** +This etext was produced by Andrew Turek. + +THE SMALL HOUSE AT ALLINGTON + +BY ANTHONY TROLLOPE + +CHAPTER I + +THE SQUIRE OF ALLINGTON + + +Of course there was a Great House at Allington. How otherwise should +there have been a Small House? Our story will, as its name imports, +have its closest relations with those who lived in the less dignified +domicile of the two; but it will have close relations also with the +more dignified, and it may be well that I should, in the first +instance, say a few words as to the Great House and its owner. + +The squires of Allington had been squires of Allington since squires, +such as squires are now, were first known in England. From father to +son, and from uncle to nephew, and, in one instance, from second cousin +to second cousin, the sceptre had descended in the family of the Dales; +and the acres had remained intact, growing in value and not decreasing +in number, though guarded by no entail and protected by no wonderful +amount of prudence or wisdom. The estate of Dale of Allington had been +coterminous with the parish of Allington for some hundreds of years; +and though, as I have said, the race of squires had possessed nothing +of superhuman discretion, and had perhaps been guided in their walks +through life by no very distinct principles, still there had been with +them so much of adherence to a sacred law, that no acre of the property +had ever been parted from the hands of the existing squire. Some futile +attempts had been made to increase the territory, as indeed had been +done by Kit Dale, the father of Christopher Dale, who will appear as +our squire of Allington when the persons of our drama are introduced. +Old Kit Dale, who had married money, had bought outlying farms-a bit of +ground here and a bit there-talking, as he did so, much of political +influence and of the good old Tory cause. But these farms and bits of +ground had gone again before our time. To them had been attached no +religion. When old Kit had found himself pressed in that matter of the +majority of the Nineteenth Dragoons, in which crack regiment his second +son made for himself quite a career, he found it easier to sell than to +save-seeing that that which he sold was his own and not the patrimony +of the Dales. At his death the remainder of these purchases had gone. +Family arrangements required completion, and Christopher Dale required +ready money. The outlying farms flew away, as such new purchases had +flown before; but the old patrimony of the Dales remained untouched, as +it had ever remained. + +It had been a religion among them; and seeing that the worship had been +carried on without fail, that the vestal fire had never gone down upon +the hearth, I should not have said that the Dales had walked their ways +without high principle. For this religion they had all adhered, and the +new heir had ever entered in upon his domain without other encumbrances +than those with which he himself was then already burdened. And yet +there had been no entail. The idea of an entail was not in accordance +with the peculiarities of the Dale mind. It was necessary to the Dale +religion that each squire should have the power of wasting the acres of +Allington-and that he should abstain from wasting them. I remember to +have dined at a house, the whole glory and fortune of which depended on +the safety of a glass goblet. We all know the story. If the luck of +Edenhall should be shattered, the doom of the family would be sealed. +Nevertheless I was bidden to drink out of the fatal glass, as were all +guests in that house. It would not have contented the chivalrous mind +of the master to protect his doom by lock and key and padded chest. And +so it was with the Dales of Allington. To them an entail would have +been a lock and key and a padded chest; but the old chivalry of their +house denied to them the use of such protection. +I have spoken something slightingly of the acquirements and doings of +the family; and indeed their acquirements had been few and their doings +little. At Allington, Dale of Allington had always been known as a +king. At Guestwick, the neighbouring market town, he was a great man-to +be seen frequently on Saturdays, standing in the market-place, and +laying down the law as to barley and oxen among men who knew usually +more about barley and oxen than did he. At Hamersham, the assize town, +he was generally in some repute, being a constant grand juror for the +county, and a man who paid his way. But even at Hamersham the glory of +the Dales had, at most periods, begun to pale, for they had seldom been +widely conspicuous in the county, and had earned no great reputation by +their knowledge of jurisprudence in the grand jury room. Beyond +Hamersham their fame had not spread itself. + +They had been men generally built in the same mould, inheriting each +from his father the same virtues and the same vices-men who would have +lived, each, as his father had lived before him, had not the new ways +of the world gradually drawn away with them, by an invisible magnetism, +the upcoming Dale of the day-not indeed in any case so moving him as to +bring him up to the spirit of the age in which he lived, but dragging +him forward to a line in advance of that on which his father had +trodden. They had been obstinate men; believing much in themselves; +just according to their ideas of justice; hard to their tenants-but not +known to be hard even by the tenants themselves, for the rules followed +had ever been the rules on the Allington estate; imperious to their +wives and children, but imperious within bounds, so that no Mrs Dale +had fled from her lord's roof, and no loud scandals had existed between +father and sons; exacting in their ideas as to money, expecting that +they were to receive much and to give little, and yet not thought to be +mean, for they paid their way, and gave money in parish charity and in +county charity. + +They had ever been steady supporters of the Church, graciously +receiving into their parish such new vicars as, from time to time, were +sent to them from King's College, Cambridge, to which establishment the +gift of the living belonged-but, nevertheless, the Dales had ever +carried on some unpronounced warfare against the clergyman, so that the +intercourse between the lay family and the clerical had seldom been in +all respects pleasant. + +Such had been the Dales of Allington, time out of mind, and such in all +respects would have been the Christopher Dale of our time, had he not +suffered two accidents in his youth. He had fallen in love with a +lady-who obstinately refused his hand, and on her account he had +remained single; that was his first accident. The second had fallen +upon him with reference to his father's assumed wealth. He had supposed +himself to be richer than other Dales of Allington when coming in upon +his property, and had consequently entertained an idea of sitting in +Parliament for his county. In order that he might attain this honour he +had allowed himself to be talked by the men of Hamersham and Guestwick +out of his old family politics, and had declared himself a Liberal. He +had never gone to the poll, and, indeed, had never actually stood for +the seat. But he had come forward as a liberal politician, and had +failed; and, although it was well known to all around that Christopher +Dale was in heart as thoroughly conservative as any of his forefathers, +this accident had made him sour and silent on the subject of politics, +and had somewhat estranged him from his brother squires. + +In other respects our Christopher Dale was, if anything, superior to +the average of the family. Those whom he did love he loved dearly. +Those whom he hated he did not ill-use beyond the limits of justice. He +was close in small matters of money, and yet in certain family +arrangements he was, as we shall see, capable of much liberality. He +endeavoured to do his duty in accordance with his lights, and had +succeeded in weaning himself from personal indulgences, to which during +the early days of his high hopes he had become accustomed. And in that +matter of his unrequited love he had been true throughout. In his hard, +dry, unpleasant way he had loved the woman; and when at least he +learned to know that she would not have his love, he had been unable to +transfer his heart to another. This had happened just at the period of +his father's death, and he had endeavoured to console himself with +politics, with what fate we have already seen. A constant, upright, and +by no means insincere man was our Christopher Dale-thin and meagre in +his mental attributes, by no means even understanding the fullness of a +full man, with power of eye-sight very limited in seeing aught which +was above him, but yet worthy of regard in that he had realised a path +of duty and did endeavour to walk therein. And, moreover, our Mr +Christopher Dale was a gentleman. + +Such in character was the squire of Allington, the only regular +inhabitant of the Great House. In person, he was a plain, dry man, with +short grizzled hair and thick grizzled eyebrows. Of beard, he had very +little, carrying the smallest possible grey whiskers, which hardly fell +below the points of his ears. His eyes were sharp and expressive, and +his nose was straight and well formed-as was also his chin. But the +nobility of his face was destroyed by a mean mouth with thin lips; and +his forehead, which was high and narrow, though it forbad you to take +Mr Dale for a fool, forbad you also to take him for a man of great +parts, or of a wide capacity. In height, he was about five feet ten; +and at the time of our story was as near to seventy as he was to sixty. +But years had treated him very lightly, and he bore few signs of age. +Such in person was Christopher Dale, Esq, the squire of Allington, and +owner of some three thousand a year, all of which proceeded from the +lands of that parish. + +And now I will speak of the Great House of Allington. After all, it was +not very great; nor was it surrounded by much of that exquisite +nobility of park appurtenance winch graces the habitations of most of +our old landed proprietors. But the house itself was very graceful. It +had been built in the days of the early Stuarts, in that style of +architecture to which we give the name of the Tudors. On its front it +showed three pointed roofs, or gables, as I believe they should be +called; and between each gable a thin tall chimney stood, the two +chimneys thus raising themselves just above the three peaks I have +mentioned. I think that the beauty of the house depended much on those +two chimneys; on them, and on the mullioned windows with which the +front of the house was closely filled. The door, with its jutting +porch, was by no means in the centre of the house. As you entered, +there was but one window on your right hand, while on your left there +were three. And over these there was a line of five windows, one taking +its place above the porch. We all know the beautiful old Tudor window, +with its stout stone mullions and its stone transoms, crossing from +side to side at a point much nearer to the top than to the bottom. Of +all windows ever invented it is the sweetest. And here, at Allington, I +think their beauty was enhanced by the fact that they were not regular +in their shape. Some of these windows were long windows, while some of +them were high. That to the right of the door, and that at the other +extremity of the house, were among the former. But the others had been +put in without regard to uniformity, a long window here, and a high +window there, with a general effect which could hardly have been +improved. Then above, in the three gables, were three other smaller +apertures. But these also were mullioned, and the entire frontage of +the house was uniform in its style. + +Round the house there were trim gardens, not very large, but worthy of +much note in that they were so trim-gardens with broad gravel paths, +with one walk running in front of the house so broad as to be fitly +called a terrace. But this, though in front of the house, was +sufficiently removed from it to allow of a coach-road running inside it +to the front door. The Dales of Allington had always been gardeners, +and their garden was perhaps more noted in the county than any other of +their properties. But outside the gardens no pretensions had been made +to the grandeur of a domain. The pastures round the house were but +pretty fields, in which timber was abundant. There was no deer-park at +Allington; and though the Allington woods were well known, they formed +no portion of a whole of which the house was a part. They lay away, out +of sight, a full mile from the back of the house; but not on that +account of less avail for the fitting preservation of foxes. + +And the house stood much too near the road for purposes of grandeur, +had such purposes ever swelled the breast of any of the squires of +Allington. But I fancy that our ideas of rural grandeur have altered +since many of our older country seats were built. To be near the +village, so as in some way to afford comfort, protection, and +patronage, and perhaps also with some view to the pleasantness of +neighbourhood for its own inmates, seemed to be the object of a +gentleman when building his house in the old days. A solitude in the +centre of a wide park is now the only site that can be recognised as +eligible. No cottage must be seen, unless the cottage orn of the +gardener. The village, if it cannot be abolished, must be got out of +sight. The sound of the church bells is not desirable, and the road on +which the profane vulgar travel by their own right must be at a +distance. When some old Dale of Allington built his house, he thought +differently. There stood the church and there the village, and, pleased +with such vicinity, he sat himself down close to his God and to his +tenants. + +As you pass along the road from Guestwick into the village you see the +church near to you on your left hand; but the house is hidden from the +road. As you approach the church, reaching the gate of it which is not +above two hundred yards from the high road, you see the full front of +the Great House. Perhaps the best view of it is from the churchyard. +The lane leading up to the church ends in a gate, which is the entrance +into Mr Dale's place. There is no lodge there, and the gate generally +stands open-indeed, always does so, unless some need of cattle grazing +within requires that it should be closed. But there is an inner gate, +leading from the home paddock through the gardens to the house, and +another inner gate, some thirty yards farther on, which will take you +into the farmyard. Perhaps it is a defect at Allington that the +farmyard is very close to the house. But the stables, and the +straw-yards, and the unwashed carts, and the lazy lingering cattle of +the homestead, are screened off by a row of chestnuts, which, when in +its glory of flower, in the early days of May, no other row in England +can surpass in beauty. Had any one told Dale of Allington-this Dale or +any former Dale-that his place wanted wood, he would have pointed with +mingled pride and disdain to his belt of chestnuts. + +Of the church itself I will say the fewest possible number of words. It +was a church such as there are, I think, thousands in England-low, +incommodious, kept with difficulty in repair, too often pervious to the +wet, and yet strangely picturesque, and correct too, according to great +rules of architecture. It was built with a nave and aisles, visibly in +the form of a cross, though with its arms clipped down to the trunk, +with a separate chancel, with a large square short tower, and with a +bell-shaped spire, covered with lead and irregular in its proportions. +Who does not know the low porch, the perpendicular Gothic window, the +flat-roofed aisles, and the noble old grey tower of such a church as +this? As regards its interior, it was dusty; it was blocked up with +high-backed ugly pews; the gallery in which the children sat at the end +of the church, and in which two ancient musicians blew their bassoons, +was all awry, and looked as though it would fall; the pulpit was an +ugly useless edifice, as high nearly as the roof would allow, and the +reading-desk under it hardly permitted the parson to keep his head free +from the dangling tassels of the cushion above him. A clerk also was +there beneath him, holding a third position somewhat elevated; and upon +the whole thing there were not quite as I would have had them. But, +nevertheless, the place looked like a church, and I can hardly say so +much for all the modern edifices which have been built in my days +towards the glory of God. It looked like a church, and not the less so +because in walking up the passage between the pews the visitor trod +upon the brass plates which dignified the resting-places of the +departed Dales of old. + +Below the church, and between that and the village, stood the vicarage, +in such position that the small garden of the vicarage stretched from +the churchyard down to the backs of the village cottages. This was a +pleasant residence, newly built within the last thirty years, and +creditable to the ideas of comfort entertained by the rich collegiate +body from which the vicars of Allington always came. Doubtless we shall +in the course of our sojourn at Allington visit the vicarage now and +then, but I do not know that any farther detailed account of its +comforts will be necessary to us. + +Passing by the lane leading to the vicarage, the church, and to the +house, the high road descends rapidly to a little brook which runs +through the village. On the right as you descend you will have seen the +"Red Lion," and will have seen no other house conspicuous in any way. +At the bottom, close to the brook, is the post-office, kept surely by +the crossest old woman in all those parts. Here the road passes through +the water, the accommodation of a narrow wooden bridge having been +afforded for those on foot. But before passing the stream, you will see +a cross street, running to the left, as had run that other lane leading +to the house. Here, as this cross street rises the hill, are the best +houses in the village. The baker lives here, and that respectable +woman, Mrs Frummage, who sells ribbons, and toys, and soap, and straw +bonnets, with many other things too long to mention. Here, too, lives +an apothecary, whom the veneration of this and neighbouring parishes +has raised to the dignity of a doctor. And here also, in the smallest +but prettiest cottage that can be imagined, lives Mrs Hearn, the widow +of a former vicar, on terms, however, with her neighbour the squire +which I regret to say are not as friendly as they should be. Beyond +this lady's modest residence, Allington Street, for so the road is +called, turns suddenly round towards the church, and at the point of +the turn is a pretty low iron railing with a gate, and with a covered +way, which leads up to the front door of the house which stands there, +I will only say here, at this fag end of a chapter, that it is the +Small House at Allington. Allington Street, as I have said, turns short +round towards the church at this point, and there ends at a white gate, +leading into the churchyard by a second entrance. + +So much it was needful that I should say of Allington Great House, of +the Squire, and of the village. Of the Small House, I will speak +separately in a further chapter. + +CHAPTER II + +THE TWO PEARLS OF ALLINGTON + + +"But Mr Crosbie is only a mere clerk." This sarcastic condemnation was +spoken by Miss Lilian Dale to her sister Isabella, and referred to a +gentleman with whom we shall have much concern in these pages. I do not +say that Mr Crosbie will be our hero, seeing that that part in the +drama will be cut up, as it were, into fragments. Whatever of the +magnificent may be produced will be diluted and apportioned out in very +moderate quantities among two or more, probably among three or four, +young gentlemen-to none of whom will be vouchsafed the privilege of +much heroic action. + +"I don't know what you call a mere clerk, Lily. Mr Fanfaron is a mere +barrister, and Mr Boyce is a mere clergyman." Mr Boyce was the vicar of +Allington, and Mr Fanfaron was a lawyer who had made his way over to +Allington during the last assizes."You might as well say that Lord de +Guest is a mere earl." + +"So he is-only a mere earl. Had he ever done anything except have fat +oxen, one wouldn't say so. You know what I mean by a mere clerk? It +isn't much in a man to be in a public office, and yet Mr Crosbie gives +himself airs." + +"You don't suppose that Mr Crosbie is the same as John Eames," said +Bell, who, by her tone of voice, did not seem inclined to undervalue +the qualifications of Mr Crosbie. Now John Eames was a young man from +Guestwick, who had been appointed to a clerkship in the Income-tax +Office, with eighty pounds a year, two years ago. + +"Then Johnny Eames is a mere clerk," said Lily; "and Mr Crosbie +is-After all, Bell, what is Mr Crosbie, if he is not a mere clerk? Of +course, he is older than John Eames; and, as he has been longer at it, +I suppose he has more than eighty pounds a year." + +"I am not in Mr Crosbie's confidence. He is in the General Committee +Office, I know; and, I believe, has pretty nearly the management of the +whole of it. I have heard Bernard say that he has six or seven young +men under him, and that-but, of course, I don't know what he does at +his office." + +"I'll tell you what he is, Bell; Mr Crosbie is a swell." And Lilian +Dale was right; Mr Crosbie was a swell. + +And here I may perhaps best explain who Bernard was, and who was Mr +Crosbie. Captain Bernard Dale was an officer in the corps of Engineers, +was the first cousin of the two girls who have been speaking, and was +nephew and heir presumptive to the squire. His father, Colonel Dale, +and his mother, Lady Fanny Dale, were still living at Torquay-an +effete, invalid, listless couple, pretty well dead to all the world +beyond the region of the Torquay card-tables. He it was who had made +for himself quite a career in the Nineteenth Dragoons. This he did by +eloping with the penniless daughter of that impoverished earl, the Lord +de Guest. After the conclusion of that event circumstances had not +afforded him the opportunity of making himself conspicuous; and he had +gone on declining gradually in the world's esteem-for the world had +esteemed him when he first made good his running with the Lady +Fanny-till now, in his slippered years, he and his Lady Fanny were +unknown except among those Torquay Bath chairs and card-tables. His +elder brother was still a hearty man, walking in thick shoes, and +constant in his saddle; but the colonel, with nothing beyond his wife's +title to keep his body awake, had fallen asleep somewhat prematurely +among his slippers. Of him and of Lady Fanny, Bernard Dale was the only +son. Daughters they had had; some were dead, some married, and one +living with them among the card-tables. Of his parents Bernard had +latterly not seen much; not more, that is, than duty and a due +attention to the fifth commandment required of him. He also was making +a career for himself, having obtained a commission in the Engineers, +and being known to all his compeers as the nephew of an earl, and as +the heir to a property of three thousand a year. And when I say that +Bernard Dale was not inclined to throw away any of these advantages, I +by no means intend to speak in his dispraise. The advantage of being +heir to a good property is so manifest-the advantages over and beyond +those which are merely fiscal-that no man thinks of throwing them away, +or expects another man to do so. Moneys in possession or in expectation +do give a set to the head, and a confidence to the voice, and an +assurance to the man, which will help him much in his walk in life-if +the owner of them will simply use them, and not abuse them. And for +Bernard Dale I will say that he did not often talk of his uncle the +earl. He was conscious that his uncle was an earl, and that other men +knew the fact. He knew that he would not otherwise have been elected at +the Beaufort, or at that most aristocratic of little clubs called +Sebright's. When noble blood was called in question he never alluded +specially to his own, but he knew how to speak as one of whom all the +world was aware on which side he had been placed by the circumstances +of his birth. Thus he used his advantage, and did not abuse it. And in +his profession he had been equally fortunate. By industry, by a small +but wakeful intelligence, and by some aid from patronage, he had got on +till he had almost achieved the reputation of talent. His name hid +become known among scientific experimentalists, not as that of one who +had himself invented a cannon or an antidote to a cannon, but as of a +man understanding in cannons and well fitted to look at those invented +by others; who would honestly test this or that antidote; or, if not +honestly, seeing that such thin-minded men can hardly go to the proof +of any matter without some pre-judgment in their minds, at any rate +with such appearance of honesty that the world might be satisfied. And +in this way Captain Dale was employed much at home, about London; and +was not called on to build barracks in Nova Scotia, or to make roads in +the Punjaub. + +He was a small slight man, smaller than his uncle, but in. face very +like him. He had the same eyes, and nose, and chin, and the same mouth; +but his forehead was better-less high and pointed, and better formed +about the brows. And then he wore moustaches, which somewhat hid the +thinness of his mouth. + +On the whole, he was not ill-looking; and, as I have said before, he +carried with him an air of self-assurance and a confident balance, +which in itself gives a grace to a young man. + +He was staying at the present time in his uncle's house, during the +delicious warmth of the summer-for, as yet, the month of July was not +all past; and his intimate friend, Adolphus Crosbie, who was or was not +a mere clerk as my readers may choose to form their own opinions on +that matter, was a guest in the house with him. I am inclined to say +that Adolphus Crosbie was not a mere clerk; and I do not think that he +would have been so called, even by Lily Dale, had he not given signs to +her that he was a" swell." Now a man in becoming a swell-a swell of +such an order as could possibly be known to Lily Dale-must have ceased +to be a mere clerk in that very process. And, moreover, Captain Dale +would not have been Damon to any Pythias, of whom it might fairly be +said that he was a mere clerk. Nor could any mere clerk have got +himself in either at the Beaufort or at Sebright's. The evidence +against that former assertion made by Lily Dale is very strong; but +then the evidence as to her latter assertion is as strong, Mr Crosbie +certainly was a swell. It is true that he was a clerk in the General +Committee Office. But then, in the first place, the General Committee +Office is situated in Whitehall; whereas poor John Eames was forced to +travel daily from his lodgings in Burton Crescent, ever so far beyond +Russell Square, to his dingy room in Somerset House. And Adolphus +Crosbie, when very young, had been a private secretary, and had +afterwards mounted up in his office to some quasi authority and +senior-clerkship, bringing him in seven hundred a year, and giving him +a status among assistant secretaries and the like, which even in an +official point of view was something. But the triumphs of Adolphus +Crosbie had been other than these. Not because he had been intimate +with assistant secretaries, and was allowed in Whitehall a room to +himself with an arm-chair, would he have been entitled to stand upon +the rug at Sebright's and speak while rich men listened-rich men, and +men also who had handles to their names! Adolphus Crosbie had done more +than make minutes with discretion on the papers of the General +Committee Office. He had set himself down before the gates of the city +of fashion, and had taken them by storm; or, perhaps, to speak with +more propriety, he had picked the locks and let himself in. In his +walks of life he was somebody in London. A man at the West End who did +not know who was Adolphus Crosbie knew nothing. I do not say that he +was the intimate friend of many great men; but even great men +acknowledged the acquaintance of Adolphus Crosbie, and he was to be +seen in the drawing-rooms, or at any rate on the staircases, of Cabinet +Ministers. + +Lilian Dale, dear Lily Dale-for my reader must know that she is to be +very dear, and that my story will be nothing to him if he do not love +Lily Dale-Lilian Dale had discovered that Mr Crosbie was a swell. But I +am bound to say that Mr Crosbie did not habitually proclaim the fact in +any offensive manner; nor in becoming a swell had he become altogether +a bad fellow. It was not to be expected that a man who was petted at +Sebright's should carry himself in the Allington drawing-room as would +Johnny Eames, who had never been petted by any one but his mother. And +this fraction of a hero of ours had other advantages to back him, over +and beyond those which fashion had given him. He was a tall, +well-looking man, with pleasant eyes and an expressive mouth-a man whom +you would probably observe in whatever room you might meet him. And he +knew how to talk, and had in him something which justified talking. He +was no butterfly or dandy, who flew about in the world's sun, warmed +into prettiness by a sunbeam. Crosbie had his opinion on things-on +politics, on religion, on the philanthropic tendencies of the age, and +had read something here and there as he formed his opinion. Perhaps he +might have done better in the world had he not been placed so early in +life in that Whitehall public office. There was that in him which might +have earned better bread for him in an open profession. + +But in that matter of his bread the fate of Adolphus Crosbie had by +this time been decided for him, and he had reconciled himself to fate +that was now inexorable. Some very slight patrimony, a hundred a year +or so, had fallen to his share. Beyond that he had his salary from his +office, and nothing else; and on his income, thus made up, he had lived +as a bachelor in London, enjoying all that London could give him as a +man in moderately easy circumstances, and looking forward to no costly +luxuries-such as a wife, a house of his own, or a stable full of +horses. Those which he did enjoy of the good things of the world would, +if known to John Eames, have made him appear fabulously rich in the +eyes of that brother clerk. His lodgings in Mount Street were elegant +in their belongings. During three months of the season in London he +called himself the master of a very neat hack. He was always well +dressed, though never over-dressed. At his clubs he could live on equal +terms with men having ten times his income. He was not married. He had +acknowledged to himself that he could not marry without money; and he +would not marry for money. He had put aside from him, as not within his +reach, the comforts of marriage. But-We will not, however, at the +present moment inquire more curiously into the private life and +circumstances of our new friend Adolphus Crosbie. + +After the sentence pronounced against him by Lilian, the two girls +remained silent for awhile. Bell was, perhaps, a little angry with her +sister. It was not often that she allowed herself to say much in praise +of any gentleman; and, now that she had spoken a word or two in favour +of Mr Crosbie, she felt herself to be rebuked by her sister for this +unwonted enthusiasm. Lily was at work on a drawing, and in a minute or +two had forgotten all about Mr Crosbie; but the injury remained on +Bell's mind and prompted her to go back to the subject." I don't like +those slang words, Lily." + +"What slang words?" + +"You know what you called Bernard's friend." + +"Oh; a swell. I fancy I do like slang. I think it's awfully jolly to +talk about things being jolly. Only that I was afraid of your nerves I +should have called him stunning. It's so slow, you know, to use nothing +but words out of a dictionary." + +"I don't think it's nice in talking of gentlemen." + +"Isn't it? Well, I'd like to be nice-if I knew how." If she knew how! +There is no knowing how, for a girl, in that matter. If nature and her +mother have not done it for her, there is no hope for her on that head. +I think I may say that nature and her mother had been sufficiently +efficacious for Lilian Dale in this respect. + +"Mr Crosbie is, at any rate, a gentleman, and knows how to make himself +pleasant. That was all that I meant. Mamma said a great deal more about +him than I did." + +"Mr Crosbie is an Apollo; and I always look upon Apollo as the +greatest-you know what-that ever lived. I mustn't say the word, because +Apollo was a gentleman." At this moment, while the name of the god was +still on her lips, the high open window of the drawing-room was +darkened, and Bernard entered, followed by Mr Crosbie. + +"Who is talking about Apollo?" said Captain Dale. + +The girls were both stricken dumb. How would it be with them if Mr +Crosbie had heard himself spoken of in those last words of poor Lily's? +This was the rashness of which Bell was ever accusing her sister, and +here was the result! But, in truth, Bernard had heard nothing more than +the name, and Mr Crosbie. who had been behind him, had heard nothing. + +"As sweet and musical as bright Apollo's lute, strung with his hair," +said Mr Crosbie, not meaning much by the quotation, but perceiving that +the two girls had been in some way put out and silenced. + +"What very bad music it must have made," said Lily; "unless, indeed, +his hair was very different from ours." + +"It was all sunbeams," suggested Bernard. But by that time Apollo had +served his turn, and the ladies welcomed their guests in the proper +form. + +"Mamma is in the garden," said Bell, with that hypocritical pretence so +common with young ladies when young gentlemen call; as though they were +aware that mamma was the object specially sought. + +"Picking peas, with a sun bonnet on," said Lily. + +"Let us by all means go and help her," said Mr Crosbie; and then they +issued out into the garden. + +The gardens of the Great House of Allington and those of the Small +House open on to each other. A proper boundary of thick laurel hedge, +and wide ditch, and of iron spikes guarding the ditch, there is between +them; but over the wide ditch there is a foot-bridge, and at the bridge +there is a gate which has no key; and for all purposes of enjoyment the +gardens of each house are open to the other. And the gardens of the +Small House are very pretty. The Small House itself is so near the road +that there is nothing between the dining-room windows and the iron rail +but a narrow edge rather than border, and a little path made with round +fixed cobble stones, not above two feet broad, into which no one but +the gardener ever makes his way. The distance from the road to the +house is not above five or six feet, and the entrance from the gate is +shut in by a covered way. But the garden behind the house, on to which +the windows from the drawing-room open, is to all the senses as private +as though there were no village of Allington, and no road up to the +church within a hundred yards of the lawn. The steeple of the church, +indeed, can be seen from the lawn, peering, as it were, between the +yew-trees which stand in the corner of the churchyard adjoining to Mrs +Dale's wall. But none of the Dale family have any objection to the +sight of that steeple. The glory of the Small House at Allington +certainly consists in its lawn, which is as smooth, as level, and as +much like velvet as grass has ever yet been made to look. Lily Dale, +taking pride in her own lawn, has declared often that it is no good +attempting to play croquet up at the Great House. The grass, she says, +grows in tufts, and nothing that Hopkins, the gardener, can or will do +has any effect upon the tufts. But there are no tufts at the Small +House. As the squire himself has never been very enthusiastic about +croquet, the croquet implements have been moved permanently down to the +Small House, and croquet there has become quite an institution. + +And while I am on the subject of the garden I may also mention Mrs +Dale's conservatory, as to which Bell was strenuously of opinion that +the Great House had nothing to offer equal to it-"For flowers, of +course, I mean," she would say, correcting herself; for at the Great +House there was a grapery very celebrated. On thus matter the squire +would be less tolerant than as regarded the croquet, and would tell his +niece that she knew nothing about flowers." "Perhaps not, Uncle +Christopher," she would say. "All the same, I like our geraniums best"; +for there was a spice of obstinacy about Miss Dale-as, indeed, there +was in all the Dales, male and female, young and old. + +It may be as well to explain that the care of this lawn and of this +conservatory, and, indeed, of the entire garden belonging to the Small +House, was in the hands of Hopkins, the head gardener at the Great +House; and it was so simply for this reason, that Mrs Dale could not +afford to keep a gardener herself. A working lad, at ten shillings a +week, who cleaned the knives and shoes, and dug the ground, was the +only male attendant on the three ladies. But Hopkins, the head gardener +of Allington, who had men under him, was as widely awake to the lawn +and the conservatory of the humbler establishment as he was to the +grapery, peach-walls, and terraces of the grander one. In his eyes it +was all one place. The Small House belonged to his master, as indeed +did the very furniture within it; and it was lent, not let, to Mrs +Dale. Hopkins, perhaps, did not love Mrs Dale, seeing that he owed her +no duty as one born a Dale. The two young ladies he did love, and also +snubbed in a very peremptory way sometimes. To Mrs Dale he was coldly +civil, always referring to the squire if any direction worthy of +special notice as concerning the garden was given to him. + +All this will serve to explain the terms on which Mrs Dale was living +at the Small House-a matter needful of explanation sooner or later. Her +husband had been the youngest of three brothers, and in many respects +the brightest. Early in life he had gone up to London, and there had +done well as a land surveyor. He had done so well that Government had +employed him, and for some three or four years he had enjoyed a large +income, but death had come suddenly on him, while he was only yet +ascending the ladder; and, when he died, he had hardly begun to realise +the golden prospects which he had seen before him. This had happened +some fifteen years before our story commenced, so that the two girls +hardly retained any memory of their father. For the first five years of +her widowhood, Mrs Dale, who had never been a favourite of the +squire's, lived with her two little girls in such modest way as her +very limited means allowed. Old Mrs Dale, the squire's mother, then +occupied the Small House. But when old Mrs Dale died, the squire +offered the place rent-free to his sister-in-law, intimating to her +that her daughters would obtain considerable social advantages by +living at Allington. She had accepted the offer, and the social +advantages had certainly followed. Mrs Dale was poor, her whole income +not exceeding three hundred a year, and therefore her own style of +living was of necessity very unassuming; but she saw her girls becoming +popular in the county, much liked by the families around them, and +enjoying nearly all the advantages which would have accrued to them had +they been the daughters of Squire Dale of Allington. Under such +circumstances it was little to her whether or no she were loved by her +brother-in-law, or respected by Hopkins. Her own girls loved her, and +respected her, and that was pretty much all that she demanded of the +world on her own behalf. + +And Uncle Christopher had been very good to the girls in his own +obstinate and somewhat ungracious manner. There were two ponies in the +stables of the Great House, which they were allowed to ride, and which, +unless on occasions, nobody else did ride. I think he might have given +the ponies to the girls, but he thought differently. And he contributed +to their dresses, sending them. home now and again things which he +thought necessary, not in the pleasantest way in the world. Money he +never gave them, nor did he make them any promises. But they were +Dales, and he loved them; and with Christopher Dale to love once was to +love always. Bell was his chief favourite, sharing with his nephew +Bernard the best warmth of his heart. About these two he had his +projects, intending that Bell should be the future mistress of the +Great House of Allington; as to which project, however, Miss Dale was +as yet in very absolute ignorance. + +We may now, I think, go back to our four friends, as they walked out +upon the lawn. They were understood to be on a mission to assist Mrs +Dale in the picking of the peas; but pleasure intervened in the way of +business, and the young people, forgetting the labours of their elder, +allowed themselves to be carried away by the fascinations of croquet. +The iron hoops and the sticks were fixed. The mallets and the balls +were lying about; and then the party was so nicely made up! "I haven't +had a game of croquet yet," said Mr Crosbie. It cannot be said that he +had lost much time, seeing that he had only arrived before dinner on +the preceding day. And then the mallets were in their hands in a moment. + +"We'll play sides, of course," said Lily. "Bernard and I'll play +together." But this was not allowed. Lily was well known to be the +queen of the croquet ground; and as Bernard was supposed to be more +efficient than his friend, Lily had to take Mr Crosbie as her partner. +"Apollo can't get through the hoops," Lily said afterwards to her +sister; "but then how gracefully he fails to do it!" Lily, however, had +been beaten, and may therefore be excused for a little spite against +her partner. But it so turned out that before Mr Crosbie took his final +departure from Allington he could get through the hoops; and Lily, +though she was still queen of the croquet ground, had to acknowledge a +male sovereign in that dominion. + +"That's not the way we played at-" said Crosbie, at one point of the +game, and then stopped himself. + +"Where was that?" said Bernard. + +"A place I was at last summer-in Shropshire," + +"Then they don't play the game, Mr Crosbie, at the place you were at +last summer-in Shropshire," said Lily. + +"You mean Lady Hartletop's," said Bernard. Now, the Marchioness of +Hartletop was a very great person indeed, and a leader in the +fashionable world. + +"Oh! Lady Hartletop's!" said Lily. "Then I suppose we must give in;" +which little bit of sarcasm was not lost upon Mr Crosbie, and was put +down by him in the tablets of his mind as quite undeserved. He had +endeavoured to avoid any mention of Lady Hartletop and her croquet +ground, and her ladyship's name had been forced upon him. Nevertheless, +he liked Lily Dale through it all. But he thought that he liked Bell +the best, though she said little; for Bell was the beauty of the family. + +During the game Bernard remembered that they had especially come over +to bid the three ladies to dinner at the house on that day. They had +all dined there on the day before, and the girls' uncle had now sent +directions to them to come again." I'll go and ask mamma about it," +said Bell, who was out first. And then she returned, saying, that she +and her sister would obey their uncle's behest; but that her mother +would prefer to remain at home." There are the peas to be eaten, you +know," said Lily. + +"Send them up to the Great House," said Bernard. + +"Hopkins would not allow it," said Lily. "He calls that a mixing of +things. Hopkins doesn't like mixings." And then when the game was over, +they sauntered about, out of the small garden into the larger one, and +through the shrubberies, and out upon the fields, where they found the +still lingering remnants of the haymaking. And Lily took a rake, and +raked for two minutes; and Mr Crosbie, making an attempt to pitch the +hay into the cart, had to pay half-a-crown for his footing to the +hay-makers; and Bell sat quiet under a tree, mindful of her complexion; +whereupon Mr Crosbie, finding the hay-pitching not much to his taste, +threw himself under the same tree also, quite after the manner of +Apollo, as Lily said to her mother late in the evening. Then Bernard +covered Lily with hay, which was a great feat in the jocose way for +him; and Lily in returning the compliment, almost smothered Mr +Crosbie-by accident. + +"Oh, Lily," said Bell. + +"I'm sure I beg your pardon, Mr Crosbie. It was Bernard's fault. +Bernard, I never will come into a hayfield with you again." And so they +all became very intimate; while Bell sat quietly under the tree, +listening to a word or two now and then as Mr Crosbie chose to speak +them. There is a kind of enjoyment to be had in society, in which very +few words are necessary. Dell was less vivacious than her sister Lily; +and when, an hour after this, she was dressing herself for dinner, she +acknowledged that she had passed a pleasant afternoon, though Mr +Crosbie had not said very much. + +CHAPTER III + +THE WIDOW DALE OF ALLINGTON + + +As Mrs Dale, of the Small House, was not a Dale by birth, there can be +no necessity for insisting on the fact that none of the Dale +peculiarities should be sought for in her character. These +peculiarities were not, perhaps, very conspicuous in her daughters, who +had taken more in that respect from their mother than from their +father; but a close observer might recognise the girls as Dales. They +were constant, perhaps obstinate, occasionally a little uncharitable in +their judgment, and prone to think that there was a great deal in being +a Dale, though not prone to say much about it. But they had also a +better pride than this, which had come to them as their mother's +heritage. + +Mrs Dale was certainly a proud woman-not that there was anything +appertaining to herself in which she took a pride. In birth she had +been much lower than her husband, seeing that her grandfather had been +almost nobody. Her fortune had been considerable for her rank in life, +and on its proceeds she now mainly depended; but it had not been +sufficient to give any of the pride of wealth. And she had been a +beauty; according to my taste, was still very lovely; but certainly at +this time of life, she, a widow of fifteen years' standing, with two +grown-up daughters, took no pride in her beauty. Nor had she any +conscious pride in the fact that she was a lady. That she was a lady, +inwards and outwards, from the crown of her head to the sole of her +feet, in head, in heart, and in mind, a lady by education and a lady by +nature, a lady also by birth in spite of that deficiency respecting her +grandfather, I hereby state as a fact-mea periculo. And the squire, +though he had no special love for her, had recognised this, and in all +respects treated her as his equal. + +But her position was one which required that she should either be very +proud or else very humble. She was poor, and yet her daughters moved in +a position which belongs, as a rule, to the daughters of rich men only. +This they did as nieces of the childless squire of Allington, and as +his nieces she felt that they were entitled to accept his countenance +and kindness, without loss of self-respect either to her or to them. +She would have ill done her duty as a mother to them had she allowed +any pride of her own to come between them and such advantage in the +world as their uncle might be able to give them. On their behalf she +had accepted the loan of the house in which she lived, and the use of +many of the appurtenances belonging to her brother-in-law; but on her +own account she had accepted nothing. Her marriage with Philip Dale had +been disliked by his brother the squire, and the squire, while Philip +was still living, had continued to show that his feelings in this +respect were not to be overcome. They never had been overcome; and now, +though the brother-in-law and sister-in-law had been close neighbours +for years, living as one may say almost in the same family, they had +never become friends. There had not been a word of quarrel between +them. They met constantly. The squire had unconsciously come to +entertain a profound respect for his brother's widow. The widow had +acknowledged to herself the truth of the affection shown by the uncle +to her daughters. But yet they had never come together as friends. Of +her own money matters Mrs Dale had never spoken a word to the squire. +Of his intention respecting the girls the squire had never spoken a +word to the mother. And in this way they had lived and were living at +Allington. + +The life which Mrs Dale led was not altogether an easy life-was not +devoid of much painful effort on her part. The theory of her life one +may say was this-that she should bury herself in order that her +daughters might live well above ground. And in order to carry out this +theory, it was necessary that she should abstain from all complaint or +show of uneasiness before her girls. Their life above ground would not +be well if they understood that their mother, in this underground life +of hers, was enduring any sacrifice on their behalf. It was needful +that they should think that the picking of peas in a sun bonnet, or +long readings by her own fire-side, and solitary hours spent in +thinking, were specially to her mind. "Mamma doesn't like going out." + +"I don't think mamma is happy anywhere out of her own drawing-room." I +do not say that the girls were taught to say such words, but they were +taught to have thoughts which led to such words, and in the early days +of their going out into the world used so to speak of their mother. But +a time came to them before long-to one first and then to the other, in +which they knew that it was not so, and knew also all that their mother +had suffered for their sakes. + +And in truth Mrs Dale could have been as young in heart as they were. +She, too, could have played croquet, and have coquetted with a +haymaker's rake, and have delighted in her pony, ay, and have listened +to little nothings from this and that Apollo, had she thought that +things had been conformable thereto. Women at forty do not become +ancient misanthropes, or stem Rhadamanthine moralists, indifferent to +the world's pleasures-no, not even though they be widows. There are +those who think that such should be the phase of their minds. I profess +that I do not so think. I would have women, and men also, young as long +as they can be young. It is not that a woman should call herself in +years younger than her father's family Bible will have her to be. Let +her who is forty call herself forty; but if she can be young in spirit +at forty, let her show that she is so. + +I think that Mrs Dale was wrong. She would have joined that party on +the croquet ground, instead of remaining among the pea-sticks in her +sun bonnet, had she done as I would have counselled her. Not a word was +spoken among the four that she did not hear. Those pea-sticks were only +removed from the lawn by a low wall and a few shrubs. She listened, not +as one suspecting, but simply as one loving. The voices of her girls +were very dear to her, and the silver ringing tones of Lily's tongue +were as sweet to her ears as the music of the gods. She heard all that +about Lady Hartletop, and shuddered at Lily's bold sarcasm. And she +heard Lily say that mamma would stay at home and eat the peas, and said +to herself sadly that that was now her lot in life. + +"Dear darling girl-and so it should be!" It was thus her thoughts ran. +And then, when her ear had traced them, as they passed across the +little bridge into the other grounds, she returned across the lawn to +the house with her burden on her arm, and sat herself down on the step +of the drawing-room window, looking out on the sweet summer flowers and +the smooth surface of the grass before her. + +Had not God done well for her to place her where she was? Had not her +lines been set for her in pleasant places? Was she not happy in her +girls-her sweet, loving, trusting, trusty children? As it was to be +that her lord, that best half of herself, was to be taken from her in +early life, and that the springs of all the lighter pleasures were to +be thus stopped for her, had it not been well that in her bereavement +so much had been done to soften her lot in life and give it grace and +beauty? Twas so, she argued with herself, and yet she acknowledged to +herself that she was not happy. She had resolved, as she herself had +said often, to put away childish things, and now she pined for those +things which she so put from her. As she sat she could still hear +Lily's voice as they went through the shrubbery-hear it when none but a +mother's ears would have distinguished the sound. Now that those young +men were at the Great House it was natural that her girls should be +there too. The squire would not have had young men to stay with him had +there been no ladies to grace his table. But for her-she knew that no +one would want her there. Now and again she must go, as otherwise her +very existence, without going, would be a thing disagreeably +noticeable. But there was no other reason why she should join the +party; nor in joining it would she either give or receive pleasure. Let +her daughters eat from her brother's table and drink of his cup. They +were made welcome to do so from the heart. For her there was no such +welcome as that at the Great House-nor at any other house, or any other +table! + +"Mamma will stay at home to eat the peas." And then she repeated to +herself the words which Lily had spoken, sitting there, leaning with +her elbow on her knee, and her head upon her hand. + +"Please, ma'am, cook says, can we have the peas to shell?" and then her +reverie was broken. + +Whereupon Mrs Dale got up and gave over her basket. "Cook knows that +the young ladies are going to dine at the Great House?" + +"Yes, ma'am." + +"She needn't mind getting dinner for me. I will have tea early." And +so, after all, Mrs Dale did not perform that special duty appointed for +her. + +But she soon set herself to work upon another duty. When a family of +three persons has to live upon an income of three hundred a year, and, +nevertheless, makes some pretence of going into society, it has to be +very mindful of small details, even though that family may consist only +of ladies. Of this Mrs Dale was well aware, and as it pleased her that +her daughters should be nice and fresh, and pretty in their attire, +many a long hour was given up to that care. The squire would send them +shawls in winter, and had given them riding habits, and had sent them +down brown silk dresses from London-so limited in quantity that the due +manufacture of two dresses out of the material had been found to be +beyond the art of woman, and the brown silk garments had been a +difficulty from that day to this-the squire having a good memory in +such matters, and being anxious to see the fruits of his liberality. +All this was doubtless of assistance, but had the squire given the +amount which he so expended in money to his nieces, the benefit would +have been greater. As it was, the girls were always nice and fresh and +pretty, they themselves not being idle in that matter; but their +tire-woman in chief was their mother. And now she went up to their room +and got out their muslin frocks, and-but, perhaps, I should not tell +such tales!-She, however, felt no shame in her work, as she sent for a +hot iron, and with her own hands smoothed out the creases, and gave the +proper set to the crimp flounces, and fixed a new ribbon where it was +wanted, and saw that all was as it should be. Men think but little how +much of this kind is endured that their eyes may be pleased, even +though it be but for an hour. + +"Oh! mamma, how good you are," said Bell, as the two girls came in, +only just in time to make themselves ready for returning to dinner. + +"Mamma is always good," said Lily. "I wish, mamma, I could do the same +for you oftener," and then she kissed her mother. But the squire was +exact about dinner, so they dressed themselves in haste, and went off +again through the garden, their mother accompanying them to the little +bridge. + +"Your uncle did not seem vexed at my not coming?" said Mrs Dale. + +"We have not seen him, mamma," said Lily. "We have been ever so far +down the fields, and forgot altogether what o'clock it was." + +"I don't think Uncle Christopher was about the place, or we should have +met him," said Bell. + +"But I am vexed with you, mamma. Are not you, Bell? It is very bad of +you to stay here all alone, and not come." + +"I suppose mamma likes being at home better than up at the Great +House," said Bell, very gently; and as she spoke she was holding her +mother's hand. + +"Well; good-bye, dears. I shall expect you between ten and eleven. But +don't hurry yourselves if anything is going on." And so they went, and +the widow was again alone. The path from the bridge ran straight up +towards the back of the Great House, so that for a moment or two she +could see them as they tripped on almost in a run. And then she saw +their dresses flutter as they turned sharp round, up the terrace steps, +She would not go beyond the nook among the laurels by which she was +surrounded, lest any one should see her as she looked after her girls. +But when the last flutter of the pink muslin had been whisked away from +her sight, she felt it hard that she might not follow them. She stood +there, however, without advancing a step. She would not have Hopkins +telling how she watched her daughters as they went from her own home to +that of her brother-in-law. It was not within the capacity of Hopkins +to understand why she watched them. + +"Well, girls, you're not much too soon. I think your mother might have +come with you," said Uncle Christopher. And this was the manner of the +man. Had he known his own wishes he must have acknowledged to himself +that he was better pleased that Mrs Dale should stay away. He felt +himself more absolutely master and more comfortably at home at his own +table without her company than with it. And yet he frequently made a +grievance of her not corning, and himself believed in that grievance. + +"I think mamma was tired," said Bell. + +"Hem. It's not so very far across from one house to the other. If I +were to shut myself up whenever I'm tired-. But never mind. Let's go to +dinner. Mr Crosbie, will you take my niece Lilian." And then, offering +his own arm to Bell, he walked off to the dining-room. + +"If he scolds mamma any more, I'll go away," said Lily to her +companion; by which it may be seen that they had all become very +intimate during the long day that they had passed together. + +Mrs Dale, after remaining for a moment on the bridge, went in to her +tea. What succedaneum of mutton chop or broiled ham she had for the +roast duck and green peas which were to have beers provided for the +family dinner we will not particularly inquire. We may, however, +imagine that she did not devote herself to her evening repast with any +peculiar energy of appetite. She took a book with her as she sat +herself down-some novel, probably, for Mrs Dale was not above +novels-and read a page or two as she sipped her tea. But the book was +soon laid on one side, and the tray on which the warm plate had become +cold was neglected, and she threw herself back in her own familiar +chair, thinking of herself, and of her girls, and thinking also what +might have been her lot in life had he lived who had loved her truly +during the few years that they had been together. + +It is especially the nature of a Dale to be constant in his likings and +his dislikings. Her husband's affection for her had been unswerving-so +much so that he had quarrelled with his brother because his brother +would not express himself in brotherly terms about his wife; but, +nevertheless, the two brothers had loved each other always. Many years +had now gone by since these things had occurred, but still the same +feelings remained. When she had first come down to Allington she had +resolved to win the squire's regard, but she had now long known that +any such winning was out of the question; indeed, there was no longer a +wish for it. Mrs Dale was not one of those soft-hearted women who +sometimes thank God that they can love any one. She could once have +felt affection for her brother-in-law-affection, and close, careful, +sisterly friendship; but she could not do so now. He had been cold to +her, and had with perseverance rejected her advances. That was now +seven years since; and during those years Mrs Dale had been, at any +rate, as cold to him as he had been to her. + +But all this was very hard to bear. That her daughters should love +their uncle was not only reasonable, but in every way desirable. He was +not cold to them. To them he was generous and affectionate. If she were +only out of the way, he would have taken them to his house as his own, +and they would in all respects have stood before the world as his +adopted children. Would it not be better if she were out of the way? + +It was only in her most dismal moods that this question would get +itself asked within her mind, and then she would recover herself, and +answer it stoutly with an indignant protest against her own morbid +weakness. It would not be well that she should be away from her +girls-not though their uncle should have been twice a better uncle; not +though, by her absence, they might become heiresses of all Allington. +Was it not above everything to them that they should have a mother near +them? And as she asked of herself that morbid question-wickedly asked +it, as she declared to herself-did she not know that they loved her +better than all the world beside, and would prefer her caresses and her +care to the guardianship of any uncle, let his house be ever so great? +As yet they loved her better than all the world beside. Of other love, +should it come, she would not be jealous. And if it should come, and +should be happy, might there not yet be a bright evening of life for +herself? If they should marry, and if their lords would accept her +love, her friendship, and her homage, she might yet escape from the +deathlike coldness of that Great House, and be happy in some tiny +cottage, from which she might go forth at times among those who would +really welcome her. A certain doctor there was, living not very far +from Allington, at Guestwick, as to whom she had once thought that he +might fill that place of son-in-law-to be well-beloved. Her quiet, +beautiful Bell had seemed to like the man; and he had certainly done +more than seem to like her. But now, for some weeks past, this hope, or +rather this idea, had faded away. Mrs Dale had never questioned her +daughter on the matter; she was not a woman prone to put such +questions. But during the month or two last past, she had seen with +regret that Bell looked almost coldly on the man whom her mother +favoured. + +In thinking of all this the long evening passed away, and at eleven +o'clock she heard the coming steps across the garden. The young men +had, of course, accompanied the girls home; and as she stepped out from +the still open window of her own drawing-room, she saw them all on the +centre of the lawn before her. + +"There's mamma," said Lily." Mamma, Mr Crosbie wants to play croquet by +moonlight." + +"I don't think there is light enough for that," said Mrs Dale. + +"There is light enough for him," said Lily, "for he plays quite +independently of the hoops; don't you, Mr Crosbie?" + +"There's very pretty croquet light, I should say," said Mr Crosbie, +looking up at the bright moon; "and then it is so stupid going to bed." + +"Yes, it is stupid going to bed," said Lily;" but people in the country +are stupid, you know. Billiards, that you can play all night by gas, is +much better, isn't it?" + +"Your arrows fall terribly astray there, Miss Dale, for I never touch a +cue; you should talk to your cousin about billiards." + +"Is Bernard a great billiard player," asked Bell. + +"Well, I do play now and again; about as well as Crosbie does croquet. +Come, Crosbie, we'll go home and smoke a cigar." + +"Yes," said Lily; "and then, you know, we stupid people can go to bed. +Mamma, I wish you had a little smoking-room here for us. I don't like +being considered stupid." And then they parted-the ladies going into +the house, and the two men returning across the lawn. + +"Lily, my love," said Mrs Dale, when they were all together in her +bedroom, "it seems to me that you are very hard upon Mr Crosbie." + +"She has been going on like that all the evening," said Bell. + +"I'm sure we are very good friends," said Lily. + +"Oh, very," said Bell. + +"Now, Bell, you're jealous; you know you are." And then, seeing that +her sister was in some slight degree vexed, she went up to her and +kissed her. "She shan't be called jealous; shall she, mamma?" + +"I don't think she deserves it," said Mrs Dale. + +"Now, you don't mean to say that you think I meant anything," said +Lily. "As if I cared a buttercup about Mr Crosbie." + +"Or I either, Lily." + +"Of course you don't. But I do care for him very much, mamma. He is +such a duck of an Apollo. I shall always call him Apollo; Phoebus +Apollo! And when I draw his picture he shall have a mallet in his hand +instead of a bow. Upon my word I am very much obliged to Bernard for +bringing him down here; and I do wish he was not going away the day +after tomorrow." + +"The day after tomorrow!" said Mrs Dale. It was hardly worth coming for +two days." + +"No, it wasn't-disturbing us all in our quiet little ways just for such +a spell as that-not giving one time even to count his rays." +"But he says he shall perhaps come again," said Bell. + +"There is that hope for us," said Lily. "Uncle Christopher asked him to +come down when he gets his long leave of absence. This is only a short +sort of leave. He is better off than poor Johnny Eames. Johnny Eames +only has a month, but Mr Crosbie has two months just whenever he likes +it; and seems co be pretty much his own master all the year round +besides." + +"And Uncle Christopher asked him to come down for the shooting in +September," said Bell. + +"And though he didn't say he'd come I think he meant it," said Lily. +"There is that hope for us, mamma." + +"Then you'll have to draw Apollo with a gun instead of a mallet." + +"That is the worst of it, mamma. We shan't see much of him or of +Bernard either. They wouldn't let us go out into the woods as beaters, +would they?" + +"You'd make too much noise to be of any use." + +"Should I? I thought the beaters had to shout at the birds. I should +get very tired of shouting at birds, so I think I'll stay at home and +look after my clothes." + +"I hope he will come, because Uncle Christopher seems to like him so +much," said Bell. + +"I wonder whether a certain gentleman at Guestwick will like his +coming," said Lily. And then, as soon as she had spoken the words, she +looked at her sister, and saw that she had grieved her. + +"Lily, you let your tongue run too fast," said Mrs Dale. + +"I didn't mean anything, Bell," said Lily." I beg your pardon." + +"It doesn't signify," said Bell. "Only Lily says things without +thinking." And then that conversation came to an end, and nothing more +was said among them beyond what appertained to their toilet, and a few +last words at parting. But the two girls occupied the same room, and +when their own door was closed upon them, Bell did allude to what had +passed with some spirit. + +"Lily, you promised me," she said, "that you would not say anything +more to me about Dr Crofts." + +"I know I did, and I was very wrong. I beg your pardon, Bell; and I +won't do it again-not if I can help it." + +"Not help it, Lily!" + +"But I'm sure I don't know why I shouldn't speak of him-only not in the +way of laughing at you. Of all the men I ever saw in my life I like him +best. And only that I love you better than I love myself I could find +it in my heart to grudge you his-" + +"Lily, what did you promise just now?" + +"Well; after to-night. And I don't know why you should turn against +him." + +"I have never turned against him or for him." + +"There's no turning about him. He'd give his left hand if you'd only +smile on him. Or his right either-and that's what I should like to see; +so now you've heard it." + +"You know you are talking nonsense." + +"So I should like to see it. And so would mamma too, I'm sure; though I +never heard her say a word about him. In my mind he's the finest fellow +I ever saw. What's Mr Apollo Crosbie to him? And now, as it makes you +unhappy, I'll never say another word about him." As Bell wished her +sister good-night with perhaps more than her usual affection, it was +evident that Lily's words and eager tone had in some way pleased her, +in spite of their opposition to the request which she had made. And +Lily was aware that it was so. + +CHAPTER IV + +MRS ROPER'S BOARDING-HOUSE + + +I have said that John Eames had been petted by none but his mother, but +I would not have it supposed, on this account, that John Eames had no +friends. There is a class of young men who never get petted, though +they may not be the less esteemed, or perhaps loved. They do not come +forth to the world as Apollos, nor shine at all, keeping what light +they may have for inward purposes. Such young men are often awkward, +ungainly, and not yet formed in their gait; they straggle with their +limbs, and are shy; words do not come to them with ease, when words are +required, among any but their accustomed associates. Social meetings +are periods of penance to them, and any appearance in public will +unnerve them. They go much about alone, and blush when women speak to +them. In truth, they are not as yet men, whatever the number may be of +their years; and, as they are no longer boys, the world has found for +them the ungraceful name of hobbledehoy. + +Such observations, however, as I have been enabled to make in this +matter have led me to believe that the hobbledehoy is by no means the +least valuable species of the human race. When I compare the +hobbledehoy of one or two and twenty to some finished Apollo of the +same age, I regard the former as unripe fruit, and the latter as fruit +that is ripe. Then comes the question as to the two fruits. Which is +the better fruit, that which ripens early-which is, perhaps, favoured +with some little forcing apparatus, or which, at least, is backed by +the warmth of a southern wall; or that fruit of slower growth, as to +which nature works without assistance, on which the sun operates in its +own time-or perhaps never operates if some ungenial shade has been +allowed to interpose itself? The world, no doubt, is in favour of the +forcing apparatus or of the southern wall. The fruit comes certainly, +and at an assured period. It is spotless, speck-less, and of a certain +quality by no means despicable. The owner has it when he wants it, and +it serves its turn. But, nevertheless, according to my thinking, the +fullest flavour of the sun is given to that other fruit-is given in the +sun's own good time, if so be that no ungenial shade has interposed +itself. I like the smack of the natural growth, and like it, perhaps, +the better because that which has been obtained has been obtained +without favour. + +But the hobbledehoy, though he blushes when women address him, and is +uneasy even when he is near them, though he is not master of his limbs +in a ball-room, and is hardly master of his tongue at any time, is the +most eloquent of beings, and especially eloquent among beautiful women. +He enjoys all the triumphs of a Don Juan, without any of Don Juan's +heartlessness, and is able to conquer in all encounters, through the +force of his wit and the sweetness of his voice. But this eloquence is +heard only by his own inner ears, and these triumphs are the triumphs +of his imagination. + +The true hobbledehoy is much alone, not being greatly given to social +intercourse even with other hohbledehoys-a trait in his character which +I think has hardly been sufficiently observed by the world at large. He +has probably become a hobbledehoy instead of an Apollo, because +circumstances have not afforded him much social intercourse; and, +therefore, he wanders about in solitude, taking long walks, in which he +dreams of those successes which are so far removed from his powers of +achievement. Out in the fields, with his stick in his hand, he is very +eloquent, cutting off the heads of the springing summer weeds, as he +practises his oratory with energy. And thus he feeds an imagination for +which those who know him give him but scanty credit, and unconsciously +prepares himself for that latter ripening, if only the ungenial shade +will some day cease to interpose itself. + +Such hobbledehoys receive but little petting, unless it be from a +mother; and such a hobbledehoy was John Eames when he was sent away +from Guestwick to begin his life in the big room of a public office in +London. We may say that there was nothing of the young Apollo about +him. But yet he was not without friends-friends who wished him well, +and thought much of his welfare. And he had a younger sister who loved +him dearly, who had no idea that he was a hobbledehoy, being somewhat +of a hobbledehoy herself. Mrs Eames, their mother, was a widow, living +in a small house in Guestwick, whose husband had been throughout his +whole life an intimate friend of our squire. He had been a man of many +misfortunes, having begun the world almost with affluence, and having +ended it in poverty. He had lived all his days in Guestwick, having at +one time occupied a large tract of land, and lost much money in +experimental farming; and late in life he had taken a small house on +the outskirts of the town, and there had died, some two years +previously to the commencement of this story. With no other man had Mr +Dale lived on terms so intimate; and when Mr Eames died Mr Dale acted +as executor under his will, and as guardian to his children. He had, +moreover, obtained for John Eames that situation under the Crown which +he now held. + +And Mrs Eames had been and still was on very friendly terms with Mrs +Dale. The squire had never taken quite kindly to Mrs Eames, whom her +husband had not met till he was already past forty years of age. But +Mrs Dale had made up by her kindness to the poor forlorn woman for any +lack of that cordiality which might have been shown to her from the +Great House. Mrs Eames was a poor forlorn woman-forlorn even during the +time of her husband's life, but very woebegone now in her widowhood. In +matters of importance the squire had been kind to her; arranging for +her little money affairs, advising her about her house and income, also +getting for her that appointment for her son. But he snubbed her when +he met her, and poor Mrs Eames held him in great awe. Mrs Dale held her +brother-in-law in no awe, and sometimes gave to the widow from +Guestwick advice quite at variance to that given by the squire. In this +way there had grown up an intimacy between Bell and Lily and the young +Eames, and either of the girls was prepared to declare that Johnny +Eames was her own and well-loved friend. Nevertheless, they spoke of +him occasionally with some little dash of merriment-as is not unusual +with pretty girls who have hobbledehoys among their intimate friends, +and who are not themselves unaccustomed to the grace of an Apollo. + +I may as well announce at once that John Eames, when he went up to +London, was absolutely and irretrievably in love with Lily Dale. He had +declared his passion in the most moving language a hundred times; but +he had declared it only to himself. He had written much poetry about +Lily, but he kept his lines safe under double lock and key. When he +gave the reins to his imagination, he flattered himself that he might +win not only her but the world at large also by his verses; but he +would have perished rather than exhibit them to human eye. During the +last ten weeks of his life at Guestwick, while he was preparing for his +career in London, he hung about Allington, walking over frequently and +then walking back again; but all in vain. During these visits he would +sit in Mrs Dale's drawing-room, speaking but little, and addressing +himself usually to the mother; but on each occasion, as he started on +his long, hot walk, he resolved that he would say something by which +Lily might know of his love. When he left for London that something had +not been said. + +He had not dreamed of asking her to be his wife. John Eames was about +to begin the world with eighty pounds a year, and an allowance of +twenty more from his mother's purse. He was well aware that with such +an income he could not establish himself as a married man in London, +and he also felt that the man who might be fortunate enough to win Lily +for his wife should be prepared to give her every soft luxury that the +world could afford. He knew well that he ought not to expect any +assurance of Lily's love; but, nevertheless, he thought it possible +that he might give her an assurance of his love. It would probably be +in vain. He had no real hope, unless when he was in one of those poetic +moods. He had acknowledged to himself, in some indistinct way, that he +was no more than a hobbledehoy, awkward, silent, ungainly, with a face +unfinished, as it were, or unripe. All this he knew, and knew also that +there were Apollos in the world who would be only too ready to carry +off Lily in their splendid cars. But not the less did he make up his +mind that having loved her once, it behoved him, as a true man, to love +her on to the end. + +One little word he had said to her when they parted, but it had been a +word of friendship rather than of love. He had strayed out after her on +to the lawn, leaving Bell alone in the drawing-room. Perhaps Lily had +understood something of the boy's feelings, and had wished to speak +kindly to him at parting, or almost more than kindly. There is a silent +love which women recognise, and which in some silent way they +acknowledge-giving gracious but silent thanks for the respect which +accompanies it." I have come to say good-bye, Lily," said Johnny Eames, +following the girl down one of the paths. + +"Good-bye, John," said she, turning round. "You know how sorry we are +to lose you. But it's a great thing for you to be going up to London." + +"Well, yes. I suppose it is. I'd sooner remain here, though." + +"What! stay here, doing nothing! I am sure you would not." + +"Of course, I should like to do something. I mean-" + +"You mean that it is painful to part with old friends; and I'm sure +that we all feel that at parting with you. But you'll have a holiday +sometimes, and then we shall see you." + +"Yes; of course, I shall see you then. I think, Lily, I shall care more +about seeing you than anybody." + +"Oh, no, John. There'll be your own mother and sister." + +"Yes; there'll be mother and Mary, of course. But I will come, over +here the very first day-that is, if you'll care to see me?" + +"We shall care to see you very much. You know that. And-dear John, I do +hope you'll be happy." There was a tone in her voice as she spoke which +almost upset him; or, I should rather say, which almost put him up upon +his legs and made him speak; but its ultimate effect was less powerful." + +"Do you?" said he, as he held her hand for a few happy seconds. "And +I'm sure I hope you'll always be happy. Good-bye, Lily." Then he left +her, returning to the house, and she continued her walk, wandering down +among the trees in the shrubbery, and not showing herself for the next +half hour. How many girls have some such lover as that-a lover who says +no more to them than Johnny Eames then said to Lily Dale, who never +says more than that? And yet when, in after years, they count over the +names of all who have loved them, the name of that awkward youth is +never forgotten. + +That farewell had been spoken nearly two years since, and Lily Dale was +then seventeen. Since that time, John Eames had been home once, and +during his month's holidays had often visited Allington. But he had +never improved upon that occasion of which I have told. It had seemed +to him that Lily was colder to him than in old days, and he had become, +if anything, more shy in his ways with her. He was to return to +Guestwick again during this autumn; but, to tell honestly the truth in +the matter, Lily Dale did not think or care very much for his coming. +Girls of nineteen do not care for lovers of one-and-twenty, unless it +be when the fruit has had the advantage of some forcing apparatus or +southern wall. + +John Eames's love was still as hot as ever, having been sustained on +poetry, and kept alive, perhaps, by some close confidence in the ears +of a brother clerk; but it is not to be supposed that during these two +years he had been a melancholy lover. It might, perhaps, have been +better for him had his disposition led him to that line of life. Such, +however, had not been the case. He had already abandoned the flute on +which he had learned to sound three sad notes before he left Guestwick, +and, after the fifth or sixth Sunday, he had relinquished his solitary +walks along the towing-path of the Regent's Park Canal. To think of +one's absent love is very sweet; but it becomes monotonous after a mile +or two of a towing-path, and the mind will turn away to Aunt Sally, the +Cremorne Gardens, and financial questions. I doubt whether any girl +would be satisfied with her lover's mind if she knew the whole of it. + +"I say, Caudle, I wonder whether a fellow could get into a club?" This +proposition was made, on one of those Sunday walks, by John Eames to +the friend of his bosom, a brother clerk, whose legitimate name was +Cradell, and who was therefore called Caudle by his friends. + +"Get into a club? Fisher in our room belongs to a club." + +"That's only a chess-club. I mean a regular club." + +"One of the swell ones at the West End?" said Cradell, almost lost in +admiration at the ambition of his friend. + +"I shouldn't want it to be particularly swell. If a man isn't a swell, +I don't see what he gets by going among those who are. But it is so +uncommon slow at Mother Roper's." Now Mrs Roper was a respectable lady, +who kept a boarding-house in Burton Crescent, and to whom Mrs Eames had +been strongly recommended when she was desirous of finding a specially +safe domicile for her son. For the first year of his life in London +John Eames had lived alone in lodgings; but that had resulted in +discomfort, solitude, and, alas! in some amount of debt, which had come +heavily on the poor widow. Now, for the second year, some safer mode of +life was necessary. She had learned that Mrs Cradell, the widow of a +barrister, who had also succeeded in getting her son into the +Income-tax Office, had placed him in charge of Mrs Roper; and she, with +many injunctions to that motherly woman, submitted her own boy to the +same custody. + +"And about going to church?" Mrs Eames had said to Mrs Roper. + +"I don't suppose I can look after that, ma'am," Mrs Roper had answered, +conscientiously. "Young gentlemen choose mostly their own churches." + +"But they do go?" asked the mother, very anxious in her heart as to +this new life in which her boy was to be left to follow in so many +things the guidance of his own lights. + +"They who have been brought up steady do so, mostly." + +"He has been brought up steady, Mrs Roper. He has, indeed." + +"And you won't give him a latch-key?" + +"Well, they always do ask for it." + +"But he won't insist, if you tell him that I had rather that he +shouldn't have one." Mrs Roper promised accordingly, and Johnny Eames +was left under her charge. He did ask for the latch-key, and Mrs Roper +answered as she was bidden. But he asked again, having been +sophisticated by the philosophy of Cradell, and then Mrs Roper handed +him the key. She was a woman who plumed herself on being as good as her +word, not understanding that any one could justly demand from her more +than that. She gave Johnny Eames the key, as doubtless she had intended +to do; for Mrs Roper knew the world, and understood that young men +without latch-keys would not remain with her. + +"I thought you didn't seem to find it so dull since Amelia came home," +said Cradell. + +"Amelia! What's Amelia to me? I have told you everything, Cradell, and +yet you can talk to me about Amelia Roper!" + +"Come now, Johnny-" + +He had always been called Johnny, and the name had gone with him to his +office. Even Amelia Roper had called him Johnny on more than one +occasion before this. + +"You were as sweet to her the other night as though there were no such +person as L. D. in existence." John Eames turned away and shook his +head. Nevertheless, the words of his friend were grateful to him. The +character of a Don Juan was not unpleasant to his imagination, and he +liked to think that he might amuse Amelia Roper with a passing word, +though his heart was true to Lilian Dale. In truth, however, many more +of the passing words had been spoken by the fair Amelia than by him. + +Mrs Roper had been quite as good as her word when she told Mrs Eames +that her household was composed of herself, of a son who was in an +attorney's office, of an ancient maiden cousin, named Miss Spruce, who +lodged with her, and of Mr Cradell. The divine Amelia had not then been +living with her, and the nature of the statement which she was making +by no means compelled her to inform Mrs Eames that the young lady would +probably return home in the following winter. A Mr and Mrs Lupex had +also joined the family lately, and Mrs Roper's house was now supposed +to be full. + +And it must be acknowledged that Johnny Eames had, in certain unguarded +moments, confided to Cradell the secret of a second weaker passion for +Amelia. "She is a fine girl-a deuced fine girl!" Johnny Eames had said, +using a style of language which he had learned since he left Guestwick +and Allington. Mr Cradell, also, was an admirer of the fair sex; and, +alas! that I should say so, Mrs Lupex, at the present moment, was the +object of his admiration. Not that he entertained the slightest idea of +wronging Mr Lupex-a man who was a scene-painter, and knew the world. Mr +Cradell admired Mrs Lupex as a connoisseur, not simply as a man. "By +heavens! Johnny, what a figure that woman has!" he said, one morning, +as they were walking to their office. + +"Yes; she stands well on her pins." + +"I should think she did. If I understand anything of form," said +Cadell, "that woman is nearly perfect. What a torso she has?" From +which expression, and from the fact that Mrs Lupex depended greatly +upon her stays and crinoline for such figure as she succeeded in +displaying, it may, perhaps, be understood that Mr Cradell did not +understand much about form. + +"It seems to me that her nose isn't quite straight," said Johnny Eames. +Now, it undoubtedly was the fact that the nose on Mrs Lupex's face was +a little awry. It was a long, thin nose, which, as it progressed +forward into the air, certainly had a preponderating bias towards the +left side. + +"I care more for figure than face," said Cradell. "But Mrs Lupex has +fine eyes-very fine eyes." + +"And knows how to use them, too," said Johnny. + +"Why shouldn't she? And then she has lovely hair." + +"Only she never brushes it in the morning." + +"Do you know, I like that kind of deshabille," said Cadell. "Too much +care always betrays itself." + +"But a woman should be tidy." + +"What a word to apply to such a creature as Mrs Lupex! I call her a +splendid woman. And how well she was got up last night. Do you know, +I've an idea that Lupex treats her very badly. She said a word or two +to me yesterday that-," and then he paused. There are some confidences +which a man does not share even with his dearest friend. + +"I rather fancy it's quite the other way," said Eames. + +"How the other way?" + +"That Lupex has quite as much as he likes of Mrs L. The sound of her +voice sometimes makes me shake in my shoes, I know." + +"I like a woman with spirit," said Cradell. + +"Oh, so do I. But one may have too much of a good thing. Amelia did +tell me-only you won't mention it." + +"Of course, I won't." + +"She told me that Lupex sometimes was obliged to run away from her. He +goes down to the theatre, and remains there two or three days at a +time. Then she goes to fetch him, and there is no end of a row in the +house." + +"The fact is, he drinks," said Cadell. "By George, I pity a woman whose +husband drinks-and such a woman as that. too!" + +"Take care, old fellow, or you'll find yourself in a scrape." + +"I know what I'm at. Lord bless you, I'm not going to lose my head +because I see a fine woman." + +"Or your heart either?" + +"Oh, heart! There's nothing of that kind of thing about me. I regard a +woman as a picture or a statue. I dare say I shall marry some day, +because men do; but I've no idea of losing myself about a woman." + +"I'd lose myself ten times over for-" + +"L. D.," said Cradell. + +"That I would. And yet I know I shall never have her. I'm a jolly, +laughing sort of fellow; and yet, do you know, Caudle, when that girl +marries, it will be all up with me. It will, indeed." + +"Do you mean that you'll cut your throat?" + +"No; I shan't do that. I shan't do anything of that sort; and yet it +will be all up with me." + +"You are going down there in October-why don't you ask her to have you?" + +"With ninety pounds a year!" His grateful country had twice increased +his salary at the rate of five pounds each year. "With ninety pounds a +year, and twenty allowed me by my mother!" + +"She could wait, I suppose. I should ask her, and no mistake. If one is +to love a girl, it's no good one going on in that way!" + +"It isn't much good, certainly," said Johnny Eames. And then they +reached the door of the Income-tax Office, and each went away to his +own desk. + +>From this little dialogue, it may be imagined that though Mrs Roper +was as good as her word, she was not exactly the woman whom Mrs Eames +would have wished to select as a protecting angel for her son. But the +truth I take to be this, that protecting angels for widows' sons, at +forty-eight pounds a year, paid quarterly, are not to be found very +readily in London. Mrs Roper was not worse than others of her class. +She would much have preferred lodgers who were respectable to those who +were not so-if she could only have found respectable lodgers as she +wanted them. Mr and Mrs Lupex hardly came under that denomination; and +when she gave them up her big front bedroom at a hundred a year, she +knew she was doing wrong. And she was troubled, too, about her own +daughter Amelia, who was already over thirty years of age. Amelia was a +very clever young woman, who had been, if the truth must be told, first +young lady at a millinery establishment in Manchester. Mrs Roper knew +that Mrs Eames and Mrs, Cradell would not wish their sons to associate +with her daughter. But what could she do? She could not refuse the +shelter of her own house to her own child, and yet her heart misgave +her when she saw Amelia flirting with young Eames. + +"I wish, Amelia, you wouldn't have so much to say to that young man." + +"Laws, mother." + +"So I do. If you go on like that, you'll put me out of both my lodgers." + +"Go on like what, mother? If a gentleman speaks to me, I suppose I'm to +answer him? I know how to behave myself, I believe." And then she gave +her head a toss. Whereupon her mother was silent; for her mother was +afraid of her. + +CHAPTER V + +ABOUT L. D. + + +Apollo Crosbie left London for Allington on the 31st of August, +intending to stay there four weeks, with the declared intention of +recruiting his strength by an absence of two months from official +cares, and with no fixed purpose as to his destiny for the last of +those two months. Offers of hospitality had been made to him by the +dozen. Lady Hartletop's doors, in Shropshire, were open to him, if he +chose to enter them. He had been invited by the Countess de Courcy to +join her suite at Courcy Castle. His special friend Montgomerie Dobbs +had a place in Scotland, and then there was a yachting party by which +he was much wanted. But Mr Crosbie had as yet knocked himself down to +none of these biddings, having before him when he left London no other +fixed engagement than that which took him to Allington. On the first of +October we shall also find ourselves at Allington in company with +Johnny Eames; and Apollo Crosbie will still be there-by no means to the +comfort of our friend from the Income-tax Office. + +Johnny Eames cannot be called unlucky in that matter of his annual +holiday, seeing that he was allowed to leave London in October, a month +during which few chose to own that they remain in town. For myself, I +always regard May as the best month for holiday-making; but then no +Londoner cares to be absent in May. Young Eames, though he lived in +Burton Crescent and had as yet no connection with the West End, had +already learned his lesson in this respect. "Those fellows in the big +room want me to take May," he had said to his friend Cadell. "They must +think I'm uncommon green." + +"It's too bad," said Cadell. "A man shouldn't be asked to take his +leave in May. I never did, and what's more, I never will. I'd go to the +Board first." Eames had escaped this evil without going to the Board, +and had succeeded in obtaining for himself for his own holiday that +month of October, which, of all months, is perhaps the most highly +esteemed for holiday purposes. "I shall go down by the mail-train +tomorrow night," he said to Amelia Roper, on the evening before his +departure. At that moment he was sitting alone with Amelia in Mrs +Roper's back drawing-room. In the front room Cradell was talking to Mrs +Lupex; but as Miss Spruce was with them, it may be presumed that Mr +Lupex need have had no cause for jealousy. + +"Yes," said Amelia, "I know how great is your haste to get down to that +fascinating spot. I could not expect that you would lose one single +hour in hurrying away from Burton Crescent." + +Amelia Roper was a tall, well-grown young woman, with dark hair and +dark eyes-not handsome, for her nose was thick, and the lower part of +her face was heavy, but yet not without some feminine attractions. Her +eyes were bright; but then, also, they were mischievous. She could talk +fluently enough; but then, also, she could scold. She could assume +sometimes the plumage of a dove; but then again she could occasionally +ruffle her feathers like an angry kite. I am quite prepared to +acknowledge that John Eames should have kept himself clear of Amelia +Roper; but then young men so frequently do those things which they +should not do! + +"After twelve months up here in London one is glad to get away to one's +own friends," said Johnny. + +"Your own friends, Mr Eames! What sort of friends? Do you suppose I +don't know?" + +"Well, no. I don't think you do know." + +"L. D.!" said Amelia, showing that Lily had been spoken of among people +who should never have been allowed to hear her name. But perhaps, after +all, no more than those two initials were known in Burton Crescent. +From the tone which was now used in naming them, it was sufficiently +manifest that Amelia considered herself to be wronged by their very +existence. + +"L. S. D.," said Johnny, attempting the line of a witty, gay young +spendthrift. "That's my love; pounds, shillings, and pence; and a very +coy mistress she is." + +"Nonsense, sir. Don't talk to me in that way. As if I didn't know where +your heart was. What right had you to speak to me if you had an L. D. +down in the country?" It should be here declared on behalf of poor John +Eames that he had not ever spoken to Amelia-he had not spoken to her in +any such phrase as her words seemed to imply. But then he had written +to her a fatal note of which we will speak further before long, and +that perhaps was quite as bad-or worse. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Johnny. But the laugh was assumed, and not +assumed with ease. + +"Yes, sir; it's a laughing matter to you, I dare say. It is very easy +for a man to laugh under such circumstances-that is to say, if he is +perfectly heartless-if he's got a stone inside his bosom instead of +flesh and blood. Some men are made of stone, I know, and are troubled +with no feelings." + +"What is it you want me to say? You pretend to know all about it, and +it wouldn't be civil in me to contradict you." + +"What is it I want? You know very well what I want; or rather, I don't +want anything. What is it to me? It is nothing to me about L. D. You +can go down to Allington and do what you like for me. Only I hate such +ways." + +"What ways, Amelia?" + +"What ways! Now, look here, Johnny: I'm not going to make a fool of +myself for any man. When I came home here three months ago-and I wish I +never had;"-she paused here a moment, waiting for a word of tenderness; +but as the word of tenderness did not come, she went on-"but when I did +come home, I didn't think there was a man in all London could make me +care for him-that I didn't. And now you're going away, without so much +as hardly saying a word to me." And then she brought out her +handkerchief. + +"What am I to say, when you keep on scolding me all the time?" + +"Scolding you !-and me too! No, Johnny, I ain't scolding you, and don't +mean to. If it's to be all over between us, say the word, and I'll take +myself away out of the house before you come back again. I've had no +secrets from you. I can go back to my business in Manchester, though it +is beneath my birth, and not what I've been used to. If L. D. is more +to you than I am, I won't stand in your way. Only say the word." + +L. D. was more to him than Amelia Roper-ten times more to him. L. D. +would have been everything to him, and Amelia Roper was worse than +nothing. He felt all this at the moment, and struggled hard to collect +an amount of courage that would make him free. +"Say the word," said she, rising on her feet before him," and all +between you and me shall be over. I have got your promise, but I'd +scorn to take advantage. If Amelia hasn't got your heart, she'd despise +to take your hand. Only I must have an answer." It would seem that an +easy way of escape was offered to him; but the lady probably knew that +the way as offered by her was not easy to such an one as John Eames. + +"Amelia," he said, still keeping his seat. + +"Well, sir?" + +"You know I love you." + +"And about L. D.?" + +"If you choose to believe all the nonsense that Cradell puts into your +head, I can't help it. If you like to make yourself jealous about two +letters, it isn't my fault." + +"And you love me?" said she. + +"Of course I love you." And then, upon hearing these words, Amelia +threw herself into his arms. + +As the folding doors between the two rooms were not closed, and as Miss +Spruce was sitting in her easy chair immediately opposite to them, it +was probable that she saw what passed. But Miss Spruce was a taciturn +old lady, not easily excited to any show of surprise or admiration; and +as she had lived with Mrs Roper for the last twelve years, she was +probably well acquainted with her daughter's ways. + +"You'll be true to me?" said Amelia, during the moment of that +embrace-"true to me for ever? + +"Oh, yes; that's a matter of course," said Johnny Eames. And then she +liberated him; and the two strolled into the front sitting-room. + +"I declare, Mr Eames," said Mrs Lupex," I'm glad you've come. Here's Mr +Cradell does say such queer things." + +"Queer things!" said Cadell. "Now, Miss Spruce, I appeal to you-Have I +said any queer things?" + +"If you did, sir, I didn't notice them," said Miss Spruce. + +"I noticed them, then," said Mrs Lurex. "An unmarried man like Mr +Cradell has no business to know whether a married lady wears a cap or +her own hair-has he, Mr Eames?" + +"I don't think I ever know," said Johnny, not intending any sarcasm on +Mrs Lupex. + +"I dare say not, sir," said the lady. "We all know where your attention +is riveted. If you were to wear a cap, my dear, somebody would see the +difference very soon-wouldn't they, Miss Spruce?" + +"I dare say they would," said Miss Spruce. + +"If I could look as nice in a cap as you do, Mrs Lupex, I'd wear one +tomorrow," said Amelia, who did not wish to quarrel with the married +lady at the present moment. There were occasions, however, on which Mrs +Lupex and Miss Roper were by no means so gracious to each other. + +"Does Lupex like caps?" asked Cradell. + +"If I wore a plumed helmet on my head, it's my belief he wouldn't know +the difference; nor yet if I had got no head at all. That's what comes +of getting married. It you'll take my advice, Miss Roper, you'll stay +as you are; even though somebody should break his heart about it. +Wouldn't you, Miss Spruce?" + +"Oh, as for me, I'm an old woman, you know," said Miss Spruce, which +was certainly true. + +"I don't see what any woman gets by marrying," continued Mrs Lurex. +"But a man gains everything. He don't know how to live, unless he's got +a woman to help him." + +"But is love to go for nothing?" said Cradell. + +"Oh, love! I don't believe in love. I suppose I thought I loved once, +but what did it come to after all? Now, there's Mr Eames-we all know +he's in love." + +"It comes natural to me, Mrs Lupex. I was born so," said Johnny. + +"And there's Miss Roper-one never ought to speak free about a lady, but +perhaps she's in love too." + +"Speak for yourself, Mrs Lupex," said Amelia. + +"There's no harm in saying that, is there? I'm sure, if you ain't, +you're very hard-hearted; for, if ever there was a true lover, I +believe you've got one of your own. My !-if there's not Lupex's step on +the stair! What can bring him home at this hour? If he's been drinking, +he'll come home as cross as anything." Then Mr Lupex entered the room, +and the pleasantness of the party was destroyed. + +It may be said that neither Mrs Cradell nor Mrs Eames would have placed +their sons in Burton Crescent if they had known the dangers into which +the young men would fall. Each, it must be acknowledged, was imprudent; +but each clearly saw the imprudence of the other. Not a week before +this, Cradell had seriously warned his friend against the arts of Miss +Roper. + +"By George, Johnny, you'll get yourself entangled with that girl." + +"One always has to go through that sort of thing," said Johnny. + +"Yes; but those who go through too much of it never get out again. +Where would you be if she got a written promise of marriage from you?" +Poor Johnny did not answer this immediately, for in very truth Amelia +Roper had such a document in her possession. + +"Where should I be?" said he. "Among the breaches of promise, I +suppose." + +"Either that, or else among the victims of matrimony. My belief of you +is, that if you gave such a promise, you'd carry it out." + +"Perhaps I should," said Johnny; "but I don't know. It's a matter of +doubt what a man ought to do in such a case." + +"But there's been nothing of that kind yet?" + +"Oh dear, no!" + +"If I was you, Johnny, I'd keep away from her. It's very good fun, of +course, that sort of thing; but it is so uncommon dangerous! Where +would you be now with such a girl as that for your wife?" + +Such had been the caution given by Cradell to his friend. And now, just +as he was starting for Allington, Eames returned the compliment. They +had gone together to the Great Western station at Paddington, and +Johnny tendered his advice as they were walking together up and down +the platform. + +"I say, Caudle, old boy, you'll find yourself in trouble with that Mrs +Lupex, if you don't take care of yourself." + +"But I shall take care of myself. There's nothing so safe as a little +nonsense with a married woman. Of course, it means nothing, you know, +between her and me." + +"I don't suppose it does mean anything. But she's always talking about +Lupex being jealous; and if he was to cut up rough, you wouldn't find +it pleasant." + +Cradell, however, seemed to think that there was no danger. His little +affair with Mrs Lupex was quite platonic and safe. As for doing any +real harm, his principles, as he assured his friend, were too high. Mrs +Lupex was a woman of talent, whom no one seemed to understand, and, +therefore, he had taken some pleasure in studying her character. It was +merely a study of character, and nothing more. Then the friends parted, +and Eames was carried away by the night mail-train down to Guestwick. + +How his mother was up to receive him at four o'clock in the morning, +how her maternal heart was rejoicing at seeing the improvement in his +gait, and the manliness of appearance imparted to him by his whiskers, +I need not describe at length. Many of the attributes of a hobbledehoy +had fallen from him, and even Lily Dale might now probably acknowledge +that he was no longer a boy. All which might be regarded as good, if +only in putting off childish things he had taken up things which were +better than childish. + +On the very first day of his arrival he made his way over to Allington. +He did not walk on this occasion as he had used to do in the old happy +days. He had an idea that it might not be well for him to go into Mrs +Dale's drawing-room with the dust of the road on his boots, and the +heat of the day on his brow. So he borrowed a horse and rode over, +taking some pride in a pair of spurs which he had bought in Piccadilly, +and in his kid gloves, which were brought out new for the occasion. +Alas, alas! I fear that those two years in London have not improved +John Eames; and yet I have to acknowledge that John Eames is one of the +heroes of my story. + +On entering Mrs Dale's drawing-room he found Mrs Dale and her eldest +daughter. Lily at the moment was not there, and as he shook hands with +the other two, of course, he asked for her. + +"She is only in the garden," said Bell. "She will be here directly." + +"She has walked across to the Great House with Mr Crosbie," said Mrs +Dale; "but she is not going to remain. She will be so glad to see you, +John! We all expected you today." + +"Did you?" said Johnny, whose heart had been plunged into cold water at +the mention of Mr Crosbie's name. He had been thinking of Lilian Dale +ever since his friend had left him on the railway platform; and, as I +beg to assure all ladies who may read my tale, the truth of his love +for Lily had moulted no feather through that unholy liaison between him +and Miss Roper. I fear that I shall be disbelieved in this; but it was +so. His heart was and ever had been true to Lilian, although he had +allowed himself to be talked into declarations of affection by such a +creature as Amelia Roper. He had been thinking of his meeting with Lily +all the night and throughout the morning, and now he heard that she was +walking alone about the gardens with a strange gentleman. That Mr +Crosbie was very grand and very fashionable he had heard, but he knew +no more of him. Why should Mr Crosbie be allowed to walk with Lily +Dale? And why should Mrs Dale mention the circumstance as though it +were quite a thing of course? Such mystery as there was in this was +solved very quickly. + +"I'm sure Lily won't object to my telling such a dear friend as you +what has happened," said Mrs Dale. "She is engaged to be married to Mr +Crosbie." The water into which Johnny's heart had been plunged now +closed over his head and left him speechless. Lily Dale was engaged to +be married to Mr Crosbie! He knew that he should have spoken when he +heard the tidings. He knew that the moments of silence as they passed +by told his secret to the two women before him-that secret which it +would now behove him to conceal from all the world. But yet he could +not speak. + +"We are all very well pleased at the match," said Mrs Dale, wishing to +spare him. + +"Nothing can be nicer than Mr Crosbie," said Bell. "We have often +talked about you, and he will be so happy to know you." + +"He won't know much about me," said Johnny; and even in speaking these +few senseless words-words which he uttered because it was necessary +that he should say something-the tone of his voice was altered. He +would have given the world to have been master of himself at this +moment, but he felt that he was utterly vanquished. + +"There is Lily coming across the lawn," said Mrs Dale. + +"Then I'd better go," said Eames. "Don't say anything about it; pray +don't." And then, without waiting for another word, he escaped out of +the drawing-room. + +CHAPTER VI + +BEAUTIFUL DAYS + + +I am well aware that I have not as yet given any description of Bell +and Lilian Dale, and equally well aware that the longer the doing so is +postponed the greater the difficulty becomes. I wish it could be +understood without any description that they were two pretty, +fair-haired girls, of whom Bell was the tallest and the prettiest, +whereas Lily was almost as pretty as her sister, and perhaps was more +attractive. + +They were fair-haired girls, very like each other, of whom I have +before my mind's eye a distinct portrait, which I fear I shall not be +able to draw in any such manner as will make it distinct to others. +They were something below the usual height, being slight and slender in +all their proportions. Lily was the shorter of the two, but the +difference was so trifling that it was hardly remembered unless the two +were together. And when I said that Bell was the prettier, I should, +perhaps, have spoken more justly had I simply declared that her +features were more regular than her sister's. The two girls were very +fair, so that the soft tint of colour which relieved the whiteness of +their complexion was rather acknowledged than distinctly seen. It was +there, telling its own tale of health, as its absence would have told a +tale of present or coming sickness; and yet nobody could ever talk +about the colour in their cheeks. The hair of the two girls was so +alike in hue and texture, that no one, not even their mother, could say +that there was a difference. It was not flaxen hair, and yet it was +very light. Nor did it approach to auburn; and yet there ran through it +a golden tint that gave it a distinct brightness of its own. But with +Bell it was more plentiful than with Lily, and therefore Lily would +always talk of her own scanty locks, and tell how beautiful were those +belonging to her sister. Nevertheless Lily's head was quite as lovely +as her sister's; for its form was perfect, and the simple braids in +which they both wore their hair did not require any great exuberance in +quantity. Their eyes were brightly blue; but Bell's were long, and +soft, and tender, often hardly daring to raise themselves to your face; +while those of Lily were rounder, but brighter, and seldom kept by any +want of courage from fixing themselves where they pleased. And Lily's +face was perhaps less oval in its formless perfectly oval-than her +sister's. The shape of the forehead was, I think, the same, but with +Bell the chin was something more slender and delicate. But Bell's chin +was unmarked, whereas on her sister's there was a dimple which amply +compensated for any other deficiency in its beauty. Bell's teeth were +more even than her sister's; but then she showed her teeth more +frequently. Her lips were thinner, and, as I cannot but think, less +expressive. Her nose was decidedly more regular in its beauty, for +Lily's nose was somewhat broader than it should have been. It may, +therefore, be understood that Bell would be considered the beauty by +the family. + +But there was, perhaps, more in the general impression made by these +girls, and in the whole tone of their appearance, than in the absolute +loveliness of their features or the grace of their figures. There was +about them a dignity of demeanour devoid of all stiffness or pride, and +a maidenly modesty which gave itself no airs. In them was always +apparent that sense of security which women should receive from an +unconscious dependence on their own mingled purity and weakness. These +two girls were never afraid of men-never looked as though they were so +afraid. And I may say that they had little cause for that kind of fear +to which I allude. It might be the lot of either of them to be ill-used +by a man, but it was hardly possible that either of them should ever be +insulted by one. Lily, as may, perhaps, have been already seen, could +be full of play, but in her play she never so carried herself that any +one could forget what was due to her. + +And now Lily Dale was engaged to be married, and the days of her +playfulness were over. It sounds sad, this sentence against her, but I +fear that it must be regarded as true. And when I think that it is +true-when I see that the sportiveness and kitten-like gambols of +girlhood should be over, and generally are over, when a girl has given +her troth, it becomes a matter of regret to me that the feminine world +should be in such a hurry after matrimony. I have, however, no remedy +to offer for the evil; and, indeed, am aware that the evil, if there be +an evil, is not well expressed in the words I have used. The hurry is +not for matrimony, but for love. Then, the love once attained, +matrimony seizes it for its own, and the evil is accomplished. + +And Lily Dale was engaged to be married to Adolphus Crosbie-to Apollo +Crosbie, as she still called him, confiding her little joke to his own +ears. And to her he was an Apollo, as a man who is loved should be to +the girl who loves him. He was handsome, graceful, clever, and +self-confident, and always cheerful when she ask him to be cheerful. +But he had also his more serious moments, and could talk to her of +serious matters. He would read to her, and explain to her things which +had hitherto been too hard for her young intelligence. His voice, too, +was pleasant, and well under command. It could be pathetic if pathos +were required, or ring with laughter as merry as her own. Was not such +a man fit to be an Apollo to such a girl, when once the girl had +acknowledged to herself that she loved him? + +She had acknowledged it to herself, and had acknowledged it to him-as +the reader will perhaps say without much delay. But the courtship had +so been carried on that no delay had been needed. All the world had +smiled upon it. When Mr Crosbie had first come among them at Allington, +as Bernard's guest, during those few days of his early visit, it had +seemed as though Bell had been chiefly noticed by him. And Bell in her +own quiet way had accepted his admiration, saying nothing of it and +thinking but very little. Lily was heart-free at the time, and had ever +been so. No first shadow from Love's wing had as yet been thrown across +the pure tablets of her bosom. With Bell it was not so-not so in +absolute strictness. Bell's story, too, must be told, but not on this +page. But before Crosbie had come among them, it was a thing fixed in +her mind that such love as she had felt must be overcome and +annihilated. We may say that it had been overcome and annihilated, and +that she would have sinned in no way had she listened to vows from this +new Apollo. It is almost sad to think that such a man might have had +the love of either of such girls, but I fear that I must acknowledge +that it was so. Apollo, in the plenitude of his power, soon changed his +mind; and before the end of his first visit, had transferred the +distant homage which he was then paying from the elder to the younger +sister. He afterwards returned, as the squire's guest, for a longer +sojourn among them, and at the end of the first month had already been +accepted as Lily's future husband. + +It was beautiful to see how Bell changed in her mood towards Crosbie +and towards her sister as soon as she perceived how the affair was +going. She was not long in perceiving it, having caught the first +glimpses of the idea on that evening when they both dined at the Great +House, leaving their mother alone to eat or to neglect the peas. For +some six or seven weeks Crosbie had been gone, and during that time +Bell had been much more open in speaking of him than her sister. She +had been present when Crosbie had bid them good-bye, and had listened +to his eagerness as he declared to Lily that he should soon be back +again at Allington. Lily had taken this very quietly, as though it had +not belonged at all to herself; but Bell had seen something of the +truth, and, believing in Crosbie as an earnest, honest man, had spoken +kind words of him, fostering any little aptitude for love which might +already have formed itself in Lily's bosom. + +"But he is such an Apollo, you know," Lily had said. + +"He is a gentleman; I can see that." + +"Oh, yes; a man can't be an Apollo unless he's a gentleman." + +"And he's very clever." + +"I suppose he is clever." There was nothing more said about his being a +mere clerk. Indeed, Lily had changed her mind on that subject. Johnny +Eames was a mere clerk; whereas Crosbie, if he was to be called a clerk +at all, was a clerk of some very special denomination. There may be a +great difference between one clerk and another! A Clerk of the Council +and a parish clerk are very different persons. Lily had got some such +idea as this into her head as she attempted in her own mind to rescue +Mr Crosbie from the lower orders of the Government service. + +"I wish he were not coming," Mrs Dale had said to her eldest daughter. + +"I think you are wrong, mamma." + +"But if she should become fond of him, and then-" + +"Lily will never become really fond of any man till he shall have given +her proper reason. And if he admires her, why should they not come +together?" + +"But she is so young, Bell." + +"She is nineteen; and if they were engaged, perhaps, they might wait +for a year or so. But it's no good talking in that way, mamma. If you +were to tell Lily not to give him encouragement, she would not speak to +him." + +"I should not think of interfering." + +"No, mamma; and therefore it must take its course. For myself, I like +Mr Crosbie very much." + +"So do I, my dear." + +"And so does my uncle. I wouldn't have Lily take a lover of my uncle's +choosing." + +"I should hope not." + +"But it must be considered a good thing if she happens to choose one of +his liking." + +In this way the matter had been talked over between the mother and her +elder daughter. Then Mr Crosbie had come; and before the end of the +first month his declared admiration for Lily had proved the correctness +of her sister's foresight. And during that short courtship all had gone +well with the lovers. The squire from the first had declared himself +satisfied with the match, informing Mrs Dale, in his cold manner, that +Mr Crosbie was a gentleman with an income sufficient for matrimony. + +"It would be close enough in London," Mrs Dale had said. + +"He has more than my brother had when he married," said the squire. +"If he will only make her as happy as your brother made me-while it +lasted!" said Mrs Dale, as she turned away her face to conceal a tear +that was coming. And then there was nothing more said about it between +the squire and his sister-in-law. The squire spoke no word as to +assistance in money matters-did not even suggest that he would lend a +hand to the young people at starting, as an uncle in such a position +might surely have done. It may well be conceived that Mrs Dale herself +said nothing on the subject. And, indeed, it may be conceived, also, +that the squire, let his intentions be what they might, would not +divulge them to Mrs Dale. This was uncomfortable, but the position was +one that was well understood between them. + +Bernard Dale was still at Allington, and had remained there through the +period of Crosbie's absence. Whatever words Mrs Dale might choose to +speak on the matter would probably be spoken to him; but, then, Bernard +could be quite as close as his uncle. When Crosbie returned, he and +Bernard had, of course, lived much together; and, as was natural, there +came to be close discussion between them as to the two girls, when +Crosbie allowed it to be understood that his liking for Lily was +becoming strong. + +"You know, I suppose, that my uncle wishes me to marry the elder one," +Bernard had said. + +"I have guessed as much." + +"And I suppose the match will come off. She's a pretty girl, and as +good as gold." + +"Yes, she is." + +"I don't pretend to be very much in love with her. It's not my way, you +know. But, some of these days, I shall ask her to have me, and I +suppose it'll all go right. The governor has distinctly promised to +allow me eight hundred a year off the estate, and to take us in for +three months every year if we wish it. I told him simply that I +couldn't do it for less, and he agreed with me." + +"You and he get on very well together." + +"Oh, yes! There's never been any fal-lal between us about love, and +duty, and all that. I think we understand each other, and that's +everything. He knows the comfort of standing well with the heir, and I +know the comfort of standing well with the owner." It must be admitted, +I think, that there was a great deal of sound, common sense about +Bernard Dale. + +"What will he do for the younger sister?" asked Crosbie; and, as he +asked the important question, a close observer might have perceived +that there was some slight tremor in his voice. + +"Ah! that's more than I can tell you. If I were you, I should ask him. +The governor is a plain man, and likes plain business." + +"I suppose you couldn't ask him? + +"No; I don't think I could. It is my belief that he will not let her go +by any means empty-handed." + +"Well, I should suppose not." + +"But remember this, Crosbie-I can say nothing to you on which you are +to depend. Lily, also, is as good as gold; and, as you seem to be fond +of her, I should ask the governor, if I were you, in so many words, +what he intends to do. Of course, it's against my interest, for every +shilling he gives Lily will ultimately come out of my pocket. But I'm +not the man to care about that, as you know." + +What might be Crosbie's knowledge on this subject we will not here +inquire; but we may say that it would have mattered very little to him +out of whose pocket the money came, so long as it went into his own. +When he felt quite sure of Lily-having, in fact, received Lily's +permission to speak to her uncle, and Lily's promise that she would +herself speak to her mother-he did tell the squire what was his +intention. This he did in an open, manly way, as though he felt that in +asking for much he also offered to give much. + +"I have nothing to say against it," said the squire. + +"And I have your permission to consider myself as engaged to her?" + +"If you have hers and her mother's. Of course you are aware that I have +no authority over her." + +"She would not marry without your sanction." + +"She is very good to think so much of her uncle," said the squire; and +his words as he spoke them sounded very cold in Crosbie's ears. After +that Crosbie said nothing about money, having to confess to himself +that he was afraid to do so. "And what would be the use?" said he to +himself, wishing to make excuses for what he felt to be weak in his own +conduct. "If he should refuse to give her a shilling I could not go +back from it now." And then some ideas ran across his mind as to the +injustice to which men are subjected in this matter of matrimony. A man +has to declare himself before it is fitting that he should make any +inquiry about a lady's money; and then, when he has declared himself, +any such inquiry is unavailing. Which consideration somewhat cooled the +ardour of his happiness. Lily Dale was very pretty, very nice, very +refreshing in her innocence, her purity, and her quick intelligence. No +amusement could be more deliciously amusing than that of making love to +Lily Dale. Her way of flattering her lover without any intention of +flattery on her part, had put Crosbie into a seventh heaven. In all his +experience he had known nothing like it. "You may be sure of this," she +had said-"I shall love you with all my heart and all my strength." It +was very nice-but then what were they to live upon? Could it be that +he, Adolphus Crosbie, should settle down on the north side of the New +Road, as a married, man, with eight hundred a year? If indeed the +squire would be as good to Lily as he had promised to be to Bell, then +indeed things might be made to arrange themselves. + +But there was no such drawback on Lily's happiness. Her ideas about +money were rather vague, but they were very honest. She knew she had +none of her own, but supposed it was a husband's duty to find what +would be needful. She knew she had none of her own, and was therefore +aware that she ought nut to expect luxuries in the little household +that was to be prepared for her. She hoped, for his sake, that her +uncle might give some assistance, but was quite prepared to prove that +she could he a good poor man's wife. In the old colloquies on such +matters between her and her sister, she had always declared that some +decent income should be considered as indispensable before love could +be entertained. But eight hundred a year had been considered as doing +much more than fulfilling this stipulation. Bell had high-flown notions +as to the absolute glory of poverty. She had declared that income +should not be considered at all. If she had loved a man, she could +allow herself to be engaged to him, even though he had no income. Such +had been their theories; and as regarded money, Lily was quite +contented with the way in which she had carried out her own. + +In these beautiful days there was nothing to check her happiness. Her +mother and sister united in telling her that she had done well-that she +was happy in her choice, and justified in her love. On that first day, +when she told her mother all, she had been made exquisitely blissful by +the way in which her tidings had been received. + +"Oh! mamma, I must tell you something," she said, coming up to her +mother's bedroom, after a long ramble with Mr Crosbie through those +Allington fields. + +"Is it about Mr Crosbie?" + +"Yes, mamma." And then the rest had been said through the medium of +warm embraces and happy tears rather than by words. + +As she sat in her mother's room, hiding her face on. her mother's +shoulders, Bell had come, and had knelt at her feet. + +"Dear Lily," she had said, "I am so glad." And then Lily remembered how +she had, as it were, stolen her lover from her sister, and she put her +arms round Bell's neck and kissed her. + +"I knew how it was- going to be from the very first," said Bell. + +"Did I not, mamma?" + +"I'm sure I didn't," said Lily. "I never thought such a thing was +possible." + +"But we did-mamma and I." + +"Did you?" said Lily. + +"Bell told me that it was to be so," said Mrs Dale. "But I could hardly +bring myself at first to think that he was good enough for my darling." + +"Oh, mamma! you must not say that. You must think that he is good +enough for anything." + +"I will think that he is very good." + +"Who could be better? And then, when you remember all that he is to +give up for my sake- + +"And what can I do for him in return? What have I got to give him?" + +Neither Mrs Dale nor Bell could look at the matter in this light, +thinking that Lily gave quite as much as she received. But they both +declared that Crosbie was perfect, knowing that by such assurances only +could they now administer to Lily's happiness; and Lily, between them, +was made perfect in her happiness, receiving all manner of +encouragement in her love, and being nourished in her passion by the +sympathy and approval of her mother and sister. + +And then had come that visit from Johnny Eames. As the poor fellow +marched out of the room, giving them no time to say farewell, Mrs Dale +and Bell looked at each other sadly; but they were unable to concoct +any arrangement, for Lily had run across the lawn and was already on +the ground before the window. + +"As soon as we got to the end of the shrubbery there were Uncle +Christopher and Bernard close to us; so I told Adolphus. he might go on +by himself." + +"And who do you think has been here?" said Bell. But Mrs Dale said +nothing. Had time been given to her to use her own judgment, nothing +should have been said at that moment. as to Johnny's visit. + +"Has anybody been here since I went? Whoever it was didn't stay very +long." + +"Poor Johnny Eames," said Bell. Then the colour came up into Lily's +face, and she bethought herself in a moment that. the old friend of her +young days had loved her, that he, too, had had hopes as to his love, +and that now he had heard tidings which would put an end to such hopes. +She understood it all in a moment, but understood also that it was +necessary that she should conceal such understanding. + +"Dear Johnny!" she said. "Why did he not wait for me? + +"We told him you were out," said Mrs Dale. "He will be here again +before long, no doubt." + +"And he knows-? + +"Yes; I thought you would not object to my telling him." + +"No, mamma; of course not. And he has gone back to Guestwick?" + +There was no answer given to this question, nor were there any further +words then spoken about Johnny Eames, Each of these women understood +exactly how tile matter stood, and each knew that the others understood +it. The young man was loved by them all, but not loved with that sort +of admiring affection which had been accorded to Mr Crosbie. Johnny +Eames could not have been accepted as a suitor by their pet. Mrs Dale +and Bell both felt that. And yet they loved him for his love, and for +that distant, modest respect which had restrained him from any speech +regarding it. Poor Johnny! But he was young-hardly as yet out of his +hobbledehoyhood-and he would easily recover this blow, remembering, and +perhaps feeling to his advantage, some slight touch of its passing +romance. It is thus women think of men who love young and love in vain. + +But Johnny Eames himself, as he rode back to Guestwick, forgetful of +his spurs, and with his gloves stuffed into his pocket, thought of the +matter very differently. He had never promised to himself any success +as to his passion for Lily, and had, indeed, always acknowledged that +he could have no hope; but now, that she was actually promised to +another man, and as good as married, he was not the less broken-hearted +because his former hopes had not been high. He had never dared to speak +to Lily of his love, but he was conscious that she knew it, and he did +not now dare to stand before her as one convicted of having loved in +vain. And then, as he rode back, he thought also of his other love, not +with many of those pleasant thoughts which Lotharios and Don Juans may +be presumed to enjoy when they contemplate their successes. "I suppose +I shall marry her, and there'll be an end of me," he said to himself, +as he remembered a short note which he had once written to her in his +madness. There had been a little supper at Mrs Roper's, and Mrs Lupex +and Amelia had made the punch. After supper, he had been by some +accident alone with Amelia in the dining-parlour; and when, warmed by +the generous god, he had declared his passion, she had shaken her head +mournfully, and had fled from him to some upper region, absolutely +refusing his proffered embrace. But on the same night, before his head +had found its pillow, a note had come to him, half repentant, half +affectionate, half repellent-"If, indeed, he would swear to her that +his love was honest and manly, then, indeed, she might even yet-see him +through the chink of the doorway with the purport of telling him that +he was forgiven." Whereupon, a perfidious pencil being near to his +hand, he had written the requisite words. "My only object in life is to +call you my own for ever." Amelia had her misgivings whether such a +promise, in order that it might be used as legal evidence, should not +have been written in ink. It was a painful doubt; but nevertheless she +was as good as her word, and saw him through the chink, forgiving him +for his impetuosity in the parlour with, perhaps, more clemency than a +mere pardon required. "By George! how well she looked with her hair all +loose," he said to himself, as he at last regained his pillow, still +warm with the generous god. But now, as he thought of that night, +returning on his road from Allington to Guestwick, those loose, +floating locks were remembered by him with no strong feeling as to +their charms. And he thought also of Lily Dale, as she was when he had +said farewell to her on that day before he first went up to London. "I +shall care more about seeing you than anybody," he had said; and he had +often thought of the words since, wondering whether she had understood +them as meaning more than an assurance of ordinary friendship. And he +remembered well the dress she had then worn. It was an old brown +merino, which he had known before, and which, in truth, had nothing in +it to recommend it specially to a lover's notice. "Horrid old thing!" +had been Lily's own verdict respecting the frock, even before that day. +But she had hallowed it in his eyes, and he would have been only too +happy to have worn a shred of it near his heart, as a talisman. How +wonderful in its nature is that passion of which men speak when they +acknowledge to themselves that they are in love. Of all things, it is, +under one condition, the most foul, and under another, the most fair. +As that condition is, a man shows himself either as a beast or as a +god! And so we will let poor Johnny Eames ride back to Guestwick, +suffering much in that he had loved basely-and suffering much, also, in +that he had loved nobly. + +Lily, as she had tripped along through the shrubbery, under her lover's +arm, looking up, every other moment, into his face, had espied her +uncle and Bernard. "Stop," she had said, giving him a little pull at +the arm; "I won't go on. Uncle is always teasing me with some +old-fashioned wit. And I've had quite enough of you today, sir. Mind +you come over tomorrow before you go to your shooting." And so she had +left him. + +We may as well learn here what was the question in dispute between the +uncle and cousin, as they were walking there on the broad gravel path +behind the Great House. "Bernard," the old man had said," I wish this +matter could be settled between you and Bell." + +"Is there any hurry about it, sir? + +"Yes, there is hurry; or, rather, as I hate hurry in all things, I +would say that there is ground for despatch. Mind, I do not wish to +drive you. If you do not like your cousin, say so." + +"But I do like her; only I have a sort of feeling that these things +grow best by degrees. I quite share your dislike to being in a hurry." + +"But time enough has been taken now. You see, Bernard, I am going to +make a great sacrifice of income on your behalf." + +"I am sure I am very grateful." + +"I have no children, and have therefore always regarded you as my own. +But there is no reason why my brother Philip's daughter should not be +as dear to me as my brother Orlando's son." + +"Of course not, sir; or, rather, his two daughters." + +"You may leave that matter to me, Bernard. The younger girl is going to +marry this friend of yours, and as he has a sufficient income to +support a wife, I think that my sister-in-law has good reason to be +satisfied by the match. She will not be expected to give up any part of +her small income, as she must have done had Lily married a poor man." + +"I suppose she could hardly give up much." + +"People must be guided by circumstances. I am not disposed to put +myself in the place of a parent to them both. There is no reason why I +should, and I will not encourage false hopes. If I knew that this +matter between you and Bell was arranged, I should have reason to feel +satisfied with what I was doing." From all which Bernard began to +perceive that poor Crosbie's expectations in the matter of money would +not probably receive much gratification. But he also perceived-or +thought that he perceived-a kind of threat in this warning from his +uncle. "I have promised you eight hundred a year with your wife," the +warning seemed to say. "But if you do not at once accept it, or let me +feel that it will be accepted, it may be well for me to change my +mind-especially as this other niece is about to be married. If I am to +give you so large a fortune with Bell, I need do nothing for Lily. But +if you do not choose to take Bell and the fortune, why then-" + +And so on. It was thus that Bernard read his uncle's caution, as they +walked together on the broad gravel path. + +"I have no desire to postpone the matter any longer," said Bernard. "I +will propose to Bell at once, if you wish it." + +"If your mind be quite made up, I cannot see why you should delay it." + +And then, having thus arranged that matter, they received their future +relative with kind smiles and soft words. + +CHAPTER VII + +THE BEGINNING OF TROUBLES + + +Lily, as she parted with her lover in the garden, had required of him +to attend upon her the next morning as he went to his shooting, and in +obedience to this command he appeared on Mrs Dale's lawn after +breakfast, accompanied by Bernard and two dogs. The men had guns in +their hands, and were got up with all proper sporting appurtenances, +but it so turned out that they did not reach the stubble-fields on the +farther side of the road until after luncheon. And may it not be fairly +doubted whether croquet is not as good as shooting when a man is in +love? + +It will be said that Bernard Dale was not in love; but they who bring +such accusation against him, will bring it falsely. He was in love with +his cousin Bell according to his manner and fashion. It was not his +nature to love Bell as John Eames loved Lily; but then neither would +his nature bring him into such a trouble as that which the charms of +Amelia Roper had brought upon the poor clerk from the Income-tax +Office. Johnny was susceptible, as the word goes; whereas Captain Dale +was a man who had his feelings well under control. He was not one to +make a fool of himself about a girl, or to die of a broken heart; but, +nevertheless, he would probably love his wife when he got a wife, and +would be a careful father to his children. + +They were very intimate with each other now-these four. It was Bernard +and Adolphus, or sometimes Apollo, and Bell and Lily among them; and +Crosbie found it to be pleasant enough. A new position of life had come +upon him, and one exceeding pleasant; but, nevertheless, there were +moments in which cold fits of a melancholy nature came upon him. He was +doing the very thing which throughout all the years of his manhood he +had declared to himself that he would not do. According to his plan of +life he was to have eschewed marriage, and to have allowed himself to +regard it as a possible event only under the circumstances of wealth, +rank, and beauty all coming in his way together. As he had expected no +such glorious prize, he had regarded himself as a man who would reign +at the Beaufort and be potent at Sebright's to the end of his chapter. +But now- + +It was the fact that he had fallen from his settled position, +vanquished by a silver voice, a pretty wit, and a. pair of moderately +bright eyes. He was very fond of Lily, having in truth a stronger +capability for falling in love than his friend Captain Dale; but was +the sacrifice worth his while? This was the question which he asked +himself in those melancholy moments; while he was lying in bed, for +instance, awake in the morning, when he was shaving himself, and +sometimes also when the squire was prosy after dinner. At such times as +these, while he would be listening to Mr Dale, his self-reproaches +would sometimes be very bitter. Why should he undergo this, he, Crosbie +of Sebright's, Crosbie of the General Committee Office, Crosbie who +would allow no one to bore him between Charing Cross and the far end of +Bayswater-why should he listen to the long-winded stories of such a one +as Squire Dale? If, indeed, the squire intended to be liberal to his +niece, then it might be very well. But as yet the squire had given no +sign of such intention, and Crosbie was angry with himself in that he +had not had the courage to ask a question on that subject. + +And thus the course of love was not all smooth to our Apollo. It was +still pleasant for him when he was there on the croquet ground, or +sitting in Mrs Dale's drawing-room with all the privileges of an +accepted lover. It was pleasant to him also as he sipped the squire's +claret, knowing that his coffee would soon be handed to him by a sweet +girl who would have tripped across the two gardens on purpose to +perform for him this service. There is nothing pleasanter than all +this, although a man when so treated does feel himself to look like a +calf at the altar, ready for the knife, with blue ribbons round his +horns and neck. Crosbie felt that he was such a calf-and the more +calf-like, in that he had not as yet dared to as a question about his +wife's fortune. "I will have it out of the old fellow this evening," he +said to himself, as he buttoned on his dandy shooting gaiters that +morning. + +"How nice he looks in them," Lily said to her sister afterwards, +knowing nothing of the thoughts which had troubled her lover's mind +while he was adorning his legs. + +"I suppose we shall come back this way," Crosbie said, as they prepared +to move away on their proper business when lunch was over. + +"Well, not exactly!" said Bernard. + +"We shall make our way round by Darvell's farm, and so back by +Gruddock's. Are the girls going to dine up at the Great House today?" +The girls declared that they were not going to dine up at the Great +House-that they did not intend going to the Great House at all that +evening. + +"Then, as you won't have to dress, you might as well meet us at +Gruddock's gate, at the back of the farmyard. We'll be there exactly at +half-past five." + +"That is to say, we're to be there at half-past five, and you'll keep +us waiting for three-quarters of an hour," said Lily. Nevertheless the +arrangement as proposed was made, and the two ladies were not at all +unwilling to make it. It is thus that the game is carried on among +unsophisticated people who really live in the country. The farmyard +gate at Farmer Gruddock's has not a fitting sound as a trysting-place +in romance, but for people who are in earnest it does as well as any +oak in the middle glade of a forest. Lily Dale was quite in earnest-and +so indeed was Adolphus Crosbie-only with him the earnest was beginning +to take that shade of brown which most earnest things have to wear in +this vale of tears. With Lily it was as yet all rose-coloured. And +Bernard Dale was also in earnest. Throughout this morning he had stood +very near to Bell on the lawn, and had thought that his cousin did not +receive his little whisperings with any aversion. Why should she? Lucky +girl that she was, thus to have eight hundred a year pinned to her +skirt! + +"I say, Dale," Crosbie said, as in the course of their day's work they +had come round upon Gruddock's ground, and were preparing to finish off +his turnips before they reached the farmyard gate. And now, as Crosbie +spoke, they stood leaning on the gate, looking at the turnips while the +two dogs squatted on their haunches. Crosbie had been very silent for +the last mile or two, and had been making up his mind for this +conversation. + +"I say, Dale-your uncle has never said a word to me yet as to Lily's +fortune." + +"As to Lily's fortune! The question is whether Lily has got a fortune." + +"He can hardly expect that I am to take her without some thing. Your +uncle is a man of the world and he knows-" + +"Whether or no my uncle is a man of the world, I will not say; but you +are, Crosbie, whether he is or not. Lily, as you have always known, has +nothing of her own." + +"I am not talking of Lily's own. I'm speaking of her uncle. I have been +straightforward with him; and when I became attached to your cousin I +declared what I meant at once." + +"You should have asked him the question, if you thought there was any +room for such a question." + +"Thought there was any room! Upon my word, you are a cool fellow." + +"Now look here, Crosbie; you may say what you like about my uncle, but +you must not say a word against Lily." + +"Who is going to say a word against her? You can little understand me +if you don't know that the protection of her name against evil words is +already more my care than it is yours. I regard Lily as my own." + +"I only meant to say, that any discontent you may feel as to her money, +or want of money, you must refer to my uncle, and not to the family at +the Small House." + +"I am quite well aware of that." + +"And though you are quite at liberty to say what you like to me about +my uncle, I cannot say that I can see that he has been to blame." + +"He should have told me what her prospects are." + +"But if she have got no prospects! It cannot be an uncle's duty to tell +everybody that he does not mean to give his niece a fortune. In point +of fact, why should you suppose that he has such an intention?" + +"Do you know that he has not? because you once led me to believe that +he would give his niece money." + +"Now, Crosbie, it is necessary that you and I should understand each +other in this matter-" + +"But did you not? + +"Listen to me for a moment. I never said a word to you about my uncle's +intentions in any way, until after you had become fully engaged to Lily +with the knowledge of us all. Then, when my belief on the subject could +make no possible difference in your conduct, I told you that I thought +my uncle would do something for her. I told you so because I did think +so-and as your friend, I should have told you what I thought in any +matter that concerned your interest." + +"And now you have changed your opinion?" + +"I have changed my opinion; but very probably without sufficient +ground." + +"That's hard upon me." + +"It may be hard to bear disappointment; but you cannot say that anybody +has ill-used you." + +"And you don't think he will give her anything?" + +"Nothing that will be of much moment to you." + +"And I'm not to say that that's hard? I think it confounded hard. Of +course I most put off my marriage." + +"Why do you not speak to my uncle? + +"I shall do so. To tell the truth, I think it would have come better +from him; but that is a matter of opinion. I shall tell him very +plainly what I think about it; and if he is angry, why, I suppose I +must leave his house; that will be all." + +"Look here, Crosbie; do not begin your conversation with the purpose of +angering him. He is not a bad-hearted man, but is very obstinate." + +"I can be quite as obstinate as he." And, then, without further parley, +they went in among the turnips, and each swore against his luck as he +missed his birds. There are certain phases of mind in which a man can +neither ride nor shoot, nor play a stroke at billiards, nor remember a +card at whist-and to such a phase of mind had come both Crosbie and +Dale after their conversation over the gate. They were not above +fifteen minutes late at the trysting-place, but nevertheless, punctual +though they had been, the girls were there before them. Of course the +first inquiries were made about the game, and of course the gentlemen +declared that the birds were scarcer than they had ever been before, +that the dogs were wilder, and their luck more excruciatingly bad-to +all which apologies very little attention was paid. Lily and Bell had +not come there to inquire after partridges, and would have forgiven the +sportsmen even though no single bird had been killed. But they could +not forgive the want of good spirits which was apparent. + +"I declare I don't know what's the matter with you," Lily said to her +lover. + +"We have been over fifteen miles of ground, and-" + +"I never knew anything so lackadaisical as you gentlemen from London. +Been over fifteen miles of ground! Why, Uncle Christopher would think +nothing of that." + +"Uncle Christopher is made of sterner stuff than we are," said Crosbie. + +"They used to he born so sixty or seventy years ago." And then they +walked on through Gruddock's fields, and the home paddocks, back to the +Great House, where they found the squire standing in the front of the +porch. + +The walk had not been so pleasant as they had all intended that it +should be when they made their arrangements for it. Crosbie had +endeavoured to recover his happy state of mind, but had been +unsuccessful; and Lily, fancying that her lover was not all that he +should be, had become reserved and silent. Bernard and Bell had not +shared this discomfiture, but then Bernard and Bell were, as a rule, +much more given to silence than the other two. + +"Uncle," said Lily, "these men have shot nothing, and you cannot +conceive how unhappy they are in consequence. It's all the fault of the +naughty partridges." + +"There are plenty of partridges if they knew how to get them," said the +squire. + +"The dogs are uncommonly wild," said Crosbie. + +"They are not wild with me," said the squire; "nor yet with Dingles." +Dingles was the squire's gamekeeper. + +"The fact is, you young men, nowadays, expect to have dogs trained to +do all the work for you. It's too much labour for you to walk up to +your game. You'll be late for dinner, girls, if you don't look sharp." + +"We're not coming up this evening, sir," said Bell. + +"And why not?" + +"We're going to stay with mamma." + +"And why will not your mother come with you? I'll be whipped if I can +understand it. One would have thought that under the present +circumstances she would have been glad to see you all as much together +as possible." + +"We're together quite enough," said Lily." And as for mamma, I suppose +she thinks- + +"And then she stopped herself, catching the glance of Bell's imploring +eye. She was going to make some indignant excuse for her mother-some +excuse which would be calculated to make her uncle angry. It was her +practice to say such sharp words to him, and consequently he did not +regard her as warmly as her more silent and more prudent sister. At the +present moment he turned quickly round and went into the house; and +then, with a very few words of farewell, the two young men followed +him. The girls went back over the little bridge by themselves, feeling +that the afternoon had not gone off altogether well. + +"You shouldn't provoke him, Lily," said Bell. + +"And he shouldn't say those things about mamma. It seems to me that you +don't mind what he says." + +"Oh, Lily." + +"No more you do. He makes me so angry that I cannot hold my tongue. He +thinks that because all the place is his, he is to say just what he +likes. Why should mamma go up there to please his humours?" + +"You may be sure that mamma will do what she thinks best. She is +stronger-minded than Uncle Christopher, and does not want any one to +help her. But, Lily, you shouldn't speak as though I were careless +about mamma. You didn't mean that, I know." + +"Of course I didn't." Then the two girls joined their mother in their +own little domain; but we will return to the men at the Great House. + +Crosbie, when he went up to dress for dinner, fell into one of those +melancholy fits of which I have spoken. Was he absolutely about to +destroy all the good that he bad done for himself throughout the past +years of his hitherto successful life? or rather, as he at last put the +question to himself more strongly-was it not the case that he had +already destroyed all that success? His marriage with Lily, whether it +was to be for good or bad, was now a settled thing, and was not +regarded as a matter admitting of any doubt. To do the man justice, I +must declare that in all these moments of misery he still did the best +he could to think of Lily herself as of a great treasure which he had +won-as of a treasure which should, and perhaps would, compensate him +for his misery. But there was the misery very plain. He must give up +his clubs, and his fashion, and all that he had hitherto gained, and be +content to live a plain, humdrum, domestic life, with eight hundred a +year, and a small house, full of babies. It was not the kind of Elysium +for which he had tutored himself. Lily was very nice, very nice indeed. +She was, as he said to himself, "by odds, the nicest girl that he had +ever seen." Whatever might now turn up, her happiness should be his +first care. But as for his own-he began to fear that the compensation +would hardly be perfect. + +"It is my own doing," he said to himself, intending to be rather noble +in the purport of his soliloquy, "I have trained myself for other +things-very foolishly. Of course I must suffer-suffer damnably. But she +shall never know it. Dear, sweet, innocent, pretty little thing! And +then he went on about the squire, as to whom he felt himself entitled +to be indignant by his own disinterested and manly line of conduct +towards the niece." But I will let him know what I think about it," he +said. "It's all very well for Dale to say that I have been treated +fairly. It isn't fair for a man to put forward his niece under false +pretences. Of course I thought that he intended to provide for her." +And then, having made up his mind in a very manly way that he would not +desert Lily altogether after having promised to marry her, he +endeavoured to find consolation in the reflection that he might, at any +rate, allow himself two years' more run as a bachelor in London. Girls +who have to get themselves married without fortunes always know that +they will have to wait. Indeed, Lily had already told him, that as far +as she was concerned, she was in no hurry. He need not, therefore, at +once withdraw his name from Sebright's. Thus he endeavoured to console +himself, still, however, resolving that he would have a little serious +conversation with the squire that very evening as to Lily's fortune. + +And what was the state of Lily's mind at the same moment, while she, +also, was performing some slight toilet changes preparatory to their +simple dinner at the Small House? + +"I didn't behave well to him," she said to herself; "I never do. I +forget how much he is giving up for me; and then, when anything annoys +him, I make it worse instead of comforting him."And upon that she made +accusation against herself that she did not love him half enough-that +she did not let him see how thoroughly and perfectly she loved him. She +had an idea of her own, that as a girl should never show any preference +for a man till circumstances should have fully entitled him to such +manifestation, so also should she make no drawback on her love, but +pour it forth for his benefit with all her strength, when such +circumstances had come to exist. But she was ever feeling that she was +not acting up to her theory, now that the time for such practice had +come. She would un-wittingly assume little reserves, and make small +pretences of indifference in spite of her own judgment. She had done so +on this afternoon, and had left him without giving him her hand to +press, without looking up into his face with an assurance of love, and +therefore she was angry with herself. + +"I know I shall teach him to hate me," she said out loud to Bell. + +"That would be very sad," said Bell; "but I don't see it." + +"If you were engaged to a man you would be much better to him. You +would not say so much, but what you did say would be all affection. I +am always making horrid little speeches, for which I should like to cut +out my tongue afterwards." + +"Whatever sort of speeches they are, I think that he likes them." + +"Does he? I'm not all so sure of that, Bell. Of course I don't expect +that he is to scold me-not yet, that is. But I know by his eye when he +is pleased and when he is displeased." + +And then they went down to their dinner. + +Up at the Great House the three gentlemen met together in apparent good +humour. Bernard Dale was a man of an equal temperament, who rarely +allowed any feeling, or even any annoyance, to interfere with his usual +manner-a man who could always come to table with a smile, and meet +either his friend or his enemy with a properly civil greeting. Not that +he was especially a false man. There was nothing of deceit in his +placidity of demeanour. It arose from true equanimity; but it was the +equanimity of a cold disposition rather than of one well ordered by +discipline. The squire was aware that he had been unreasonably petulant +before dinner, and having taken himself to task in his own way, now +entered the dining-room with the courteous greeting of a host. + +"I find that your bag was not so bad after all," he said, "and I hope +that your appetite is at least as good as your bag." + +Crosbie smiled, and made himself pleasant, and said a few flattering +words. A man who intends to take some very decided step in an hour or +two generally contrives to bear himself in the meantime as though the +trifles of the world were quite sufficient for him. So he praised the +squire's game; said a good-natured word as to Dingles, and bantered +himself as to his own want of skill. Then all went merry-not quite as a +marriage bell; but still merry enough for a party of three gentlemen. + +But Crosbie's resolution was fixed; and as soon, therefore, as the old +butler was permanently gone, and the wine steadily in transit upon the +table, he began his task, not without some apparent abruptness. Having +fully considered the matter, he had determined that he would not wait +for Bernard Dale's absence. He thought it possible that he might be +able to fight his battle better in Bernard's presence than he should do +behind his back. + +"Squire," he began. They all called him squire when they were on good +terms together, and Crosbie thought it well to begin as though there +was nothing amiss between them. + +"Squire, of course I am thinking a good deal at the present moment as +to my intended marriage." + +"That's natural enough," said the squire. + +"Yes, by George! sir, a man doesn't make a change like that without +finding that he has got something to think of." + +"I suppose not," said the squire. "I never was in the way of getting +married myself, but I can easily understand that." +"I've been the luckiest fellow in the world in finding such a girl as +your niece-" + +"She is exactly everything that a girl ought to be." + +"She is a good girl," said Bernard. + +"Yes; I think she is," said the squire. + +"But it seems to me," said Crosbie, finding that it was necessary to +dash at once headlong into the water, "that something ought to be said +as to my means of supporting her properly." + +Then he paused for a moment, expecting that the squire would speak. But +the squire sat perfectly still, looking intently at the empty fireplace +and saying nothing. + +"Of supporting her," continued Crosbie," with all those comforts to +which she has been accustomed." + +"She has never been used to expense," said the squire. + +"Her mother, as you doubtless know, is not a rich woman." + +"But living here, Lily has had great advantages-a horse to ride, and +all that sort of thing." + +"I don't suppose she expects a horse in the park," said the squire, +with a very perceptible touch of sarcasm in his voice. + +"I hope not," said Crosbie. + +"I believe she has had the use of one of the ponies here sometimes, but +I hope that has not made her extravagant in her ideas. I did not think +that there was anything of that nonsense about either of them." + +"Nor is there-as far as I know." + +"Nothing of the sort," said Bernard. + +"But the long and the short of it is this, sir!" and Crosbie, as he +spoke, endeavoured to maintain his ordinary voice and usual coolness, +but his heightened colour betrayed that he was nervous. "Am I to expect +any accession of income with my wife?" + +"I have not spoken to my sister-in-law on the subject," said the +squire; "but I should fear that she cannot do much." + +"As a matter of course, I would not take a shilling from her," said +Crosbie. + +"Then that settles it," said the squire. + +Crosbie paused a moment, during which his colour became very red. He +unconsciously took up an apricot and ate it, and then he spoke out. + +"Of course I was not alluding to Mrs Dale's income; I would not, on any +account, disturb her arrangements. But I wished to learn, sir, whether +you intend to do anything for your niece." + +"In the way of giving her a fortune? Nothing at all. I intend to do +nothing at all." + +"Then I suppose we understand each other-at last," said Crosbie. + +"I should have thought that we might have understood each other at +first," said the squire. + +"Did I ever make you any promise, or give you any hint that I intended +to provide for my niece? Have I ever held out to you any such hope? I +don't know what you mean by that word 'at last '-unless it be to give +offence." + +"I meant the truth, sir-I meant this-that seeing the manner in which +your nieces lived with you, I thought it probable that you would treat +them both as though they were your daughters. Now I find out my +mistake-that is all!" + +"You have been mistaken-and without a shadow of excuse for your +mistake." + +"Others have been mistaken with me," said Crosbie, forgetting, on the +spur of the moment, that he had no right to drag the opinion of any +other person into the question. + +"What others?" said the squire, with anger; and his mind immediately +betook itself to his sister-in-law. + +"I do not want to make any mischief," said Crosbie. + +"If anybody connected with my family has presumed to tell you that I +intended to do more for my niece Lilian than I have already done, such +person has not only been false, but ungrateful. I have given to no one +any authority to make any promise on behalf of my niece." + +"No such promise has been made. It was only a suggestion," said Crosbie. + +He was not in the least aware to whom the squire was alluding in his +anger; but he perceived that his host was angry, and having already +reflected that he should not have alluded to the words which Bernard +Dale had spoken in his friendship, he resolved to name no one. Bernard, +as he sat by listening, knew exactly how the matter stood; but, as he +thought, there could be no reason why he should subject himself to his +uncle's ill-will, seeing that he had committed no sin. + +"No such suggestion should have been made," said the squire. + +"No one has had a right to make such a suggestion. No one has been +placed by me in a position to make such a suggestion to you without +manifest impropriety. I will ask no further questions about it; but it +is quite as well that you should understand at once that I do not +consider it to be my duty to give my niece Lilian a fortune on her +marriage. I trust that your offer to her was not made under any such +delusion." + +"No, sir; it was not," said Crosbie. + +"Then I suppose that no great harm has been done. I am sorry if false +hopes have been given to you; but I am sure you will acknowledge that +they were not given to you by me." + +"I think you have misunderstood me, sir. My hopes were never very high; +but I thought it right to ascertain your intentions." + +"Now you know them. I trust, for the girl's sake, that it will make no +difference to her. I can hardly believe that she has been to blame in +the matter." + +Crosbie hastened at once to exculpate Lily; and then, with more awkward +blunders than a man should have made who was so well acquainted with +fashionable life as the Apollo of the Beaufort, he proceeded to explain +that, as Lily was to have nothing, his own pecuniary arrangements would +necessitate some little delay in their marriage. + +"As far as I myself am concerned," said the squire, "I do not like long +engagements. But I am quite aware that in this matter I have no right +to interfere, unless, indeed-" + +"I suppose it will be well to fix some day; eh, Crosbie?" said Bernard. + +"I will discuss that matter with Mrs Dale," said Crosbie. + +"If you and she understand each other," said the squire, + +"that will be sufficient. Shall we go into the drawing-room now, or out +upon the lawn?" + +That evening, as Crosbie went to bed, he felt that he had not gained +the victory in his encounter with the squire. + +CHAPTER VIII + +IT CANNOT BE + + + +On the following morning at breakfast each of the three gentlemen at +the Great House received a little note on pink paper, nominally from +Mrs Dale, asking them to drink tea at the Small House on that day week. +At the bottom of the note which Lily had written for Mr Crosbie was +added: + +"Dancing on the lawn, if we can get anybody to stand up. Of course you +must come, whether you like it or not. And Bernard also. Do your +possible to talk my uncle into coming." And this note did something +towards re-creating good-humour among them at the breakfast-table. It +was shown to the squire, and at last he was brought to say that he +would perhaps go to Mrs Dale's little evening-party. + +It may be well to explain that this promised entertainment had been +originated with no special view to the pleasure of Mr Crosbie, but +altogether on behalf of poor Johnny Eames. What was to be done in that +matter? This question had been fully discussed between Mrs Dale and +Bell, and they had come to the conclusion that it would behest to ask +Johnny over to a little friendly gathering, in which he might be able +to meet Lily with some strangers around them. In this way his +embarrassment might be overcome. It would never do, as Mrs Dale said, +that he should be suffered to stay away, unnoticed by them. + +"When the ice is once broken he won't mind it, said Bell. And, +therefore, early in the day, a messenger was sent over to Guestwick, +who returned with a note from Mrs Eames, saying that she would come on +the evening in question, with her son and daughter. They would keep the +fly and get back to Guestwick the same evening. This was added, as an +offer had been made of beds for Mrs Eames and Mary. + +Before the evening of the party another memorable occurrence had taken +place at Allington, which must be described, in order that the feelings +of the different people on that evening may be understood. The squire +had given his nephew to understand that he wished to have that matter +settled as to his niece Bell; and as Bernard's views were altogether in +accordance with the squire's, he resolved to comply with his uncle's +wishes. The project with him was not a new thing. Re did love his +cousin quite sufficiently for purposes of matrimony, and was minded +that it would be a good thing for him to marry. He could not marry +without money, but this marriage would give him an income without the +trouble of intricate settlements, or the interference of lawyers +hostile to his own interests. It was possible that he might do better; +but then it was possible also that he might do much worse; and, in +addition to this, he was fond of his cousin. He discussed the matter +within himself, very calmly; made some excellent resolutions as to the +kind of life which it would behove him to live as a married man; +settled on the street in London in which he would have his house, and +behaved very prettily to Bell for four or five days running. That he +did not make love to her, in the ordinary sense of the word, must, I +suppose, be taken for granted, seeing that Bell herself did not +recognise the fact. She had always liked her cousin, and thought that +in these days he was making himself particularly agreeable. + +On the evening before the party the girls were at the Great House, +having come up nominally with the intention of discussing the +expediency of dancing on the lawn. Lily had made up her mind that it +was to be so, but Bell had objected that it would be cold and damp, and +that the drawing-room would be nicer for dancing. + +"You see we've only got four young gentlemen and one ungrown," said +Lily; "and they will look so stupid standing up all properly in a room, +as though we had a regular party." + +"Thank you for the compliment," said Crosbie, taking off his straw hat. + +"So you will; and we girls will look more stupid still. But out on the +lawn it won't look stupid at all. Two or three might stand up on the +lawn, and it would be jolly enough." + +"I don't quite see it," said Bernard. + +"Yes, I think I see it," said Crosbie. + +"The unadaptability of the lawn for the purpose of a ball-" + +"Nobody is thinking of a ball," said Lily, with mock petulance. + +"I'm defending you, and yet you won't let me speak. The unadaptability +of the lawn for the purpose of a ball will conceal the insufficiency of +four men and a boy as a supply of male dancers. But, Lily, who is the +ungrown gentleman? Is it your old friend Johnny Eames?" + +Lily's voice became sobered as she answered him. + +"Oh, no; I did not mean Mr Eames. He is coming, but I did not mean him. +Dick Boyce, Mr Boyce's son, is only sixteen. He is the ungrown +gentleman." + +"And who is the fourth adult." + +"Dr Crofts, from Guestwick. I do hope you will like him, Adolphus. We +think he is the very perfection of a man." + +"Then of course I shall hate him; and be very jealous, too!" And then +that pair went off together, fighting their own little battle on that +head, as turtle-doves will sometimes do. They went off, and Bernard was +left with Bell standing together over the ha-ha fence which divides the +garden at the back of the house from the field. + +"Bell," he said," they seem very happy, don't they? + +"And they ought to be happy now, oughtn't they? Dear Lily! I hope he +will be good to her. Do you know, Bernard, though he is your friend, I +am very, very anxious about it. It is such a vast trust to put in a man +when we do not quite know him." + +"Yes, it is; but they'll do very well together. Lily will be happy +enough." + +"And he?" + +"I suppose he'll be happy, too. He'll feel himself a little +straightened as to income at first, but that will all come round." +"If he is not, she will be wretched." + +"They will do very well. Lily must be prepared to make the money go as +far as she can, that's all." + +"Lily won't feel the want of money. It is not that. But if he lets her +know that she has made him a poor man, then she will be unhappy. Is he +extravagant, Bernard?" + +But Bernard was anxious to discuss another subject, and therefore would +not speak such words of wisdom as to Lily's engagement as might have +been expected from him had he been in a different frame of mind. + +"No, I should say not," said he." But, Bell-" + +"I do not know that we could have acted otherwise than we have done, +and yet I fear that we have been rash. If he makes her unhappy, +Bernard, I shall never forgive you." + +But as she said this she put her hand lovingly upon his arm, as a +cousin might do, and spoke in a tone which divested her threat of its +acerbity. + +"You must not quarrel with me, Bell, whatever may happen. I cannot +afford to quarrel with you." + +"Of course I was not in earnest as to that." + +"You and I must never quarrel, Bell; at least, I hope not. I could bear +to quarrel with any one rather than with you." And then, as he spoke, +there was something in his voice which gave the girl some slight, +indistinct warning of what might be his intention. Not that she said to +herself at once, that he was going to make her an offer of his +hand-now, on the spot; but she felt that he intended something beyond +the tenderness of ordinary cousinly affection. I hope we shall never +quarrel," she said. But as she spoke, her mind was settling +itself-forming its resolution, and coming to a conclusion as to the +sort of love which Bernard might, perhaps, expect. And it formed +another conclusion; as to the sort of love which might be given in +return. + +"Bell," he said, "you and I have always been dear friends." + +"Yes; always." + +"Why should we not be something more than friends?" + +To give Captain Dale his due I must declare that his voice was +perfectly natural as he asked this question, and that he showed no +signs of nervousness, either in his face or limbs. He had made up his +mind to do it on that occasion, and he did it without any signs of +outward disturbance. He asked his question, and then he waited for his +answer. In this he was rather hard upon his cousin; for, though the +question had certainly been asked in language that could not be +mistaken, still the matter had not been put forward with all that +fullness which a young lady, under such circumstances, has a right to +expect. + +They had sat down on the turf close to the ha-ha, and they were so near +that Bernard was able to put out his hand with the view of taking that +of his cousin within his own. But she contrived to keep her hands +locked together, so that he merely held her gently by the wrist. +"I don't quite understand, Bernard," she said, after a minute's pause. + +"Shall we be more than cousins? Shall we be man and wife?" + +Now, at least, she could not say that she did not understand. If the +question was ever asked plainly, Bernard Dale had asked it plainly. +Shall we be man and wife? Few men, I fancy, dare to put it all at once +in so abrupt a way, and yet I do not know that the English language +affords any better terms for the question. + +"Oh, Bernard! you have surprised me." + +"I hope I have not pained you, Bell. I have been long thinking of this, +but I am well aware that my own manner, even to you, has not been that +of a lover. It is not in me to smile and say soft things, as Crosbie +can. But I do not love you the less on that account. I have looked +about for a wife, and I have thought that if I could gain you I should +be very fortunate." + +He did not then say anything about his uncle, and the eight hundred a +year; but he fully intended to do so as soon as an opportunity should +serve. He was quite of opinion that eight hundred a year and the +good-will of a rich uncle were strong ground for matrimony-were grounds +even for love; and he did not doubt but his cousin would see the matter +in the same light. + +"You are very good to me-more than good. Of course I know that. But, +oh, Bernard I did not expect this a bit." + +"But you will answer me, Bell! Or if you would like time to think, or +to speak to my aunt, perhaps you will answer me tomorrow?"- + +"I think I ought to answer you, now." + +"Not if it be a refusal, Bell. Think well of it before you do that. I +should have told you that, our uncle wishes this match, and that he +will remove any difficulty there might be about money."- + +" I do not care for money." + +"But, as you were saying about Lily, one has to be prudent. Now, in our +marriage, everything of that kind would be well arranged. My uncle has +promised me that he would at once allow us-" + +"Stop, Bernard. You must not be led to suppose that any offer made by +my uncle would help to purchase-Indeed, there can be no need for us to +talk about money." + +"I wished to let you know the facts of the case, exactly as they are. +And as to our uncle, I cannot but think that you would be glad, in such +a matter, to have him on your side." + +"Yes, I should be glad to have him on my side; that is, if I were +going-But my uncle's wishes could not influence my decision. The fact +is, Bernard-" + +"Well, dearest, what is the fact? + +"I have always regarded you rather as a brother than as anything else." + +"But that regard may be changed." + +"No; I think not. Bernard, I will go further and speak on at once. It +cannot be changed. I know myself well enough to say that with +certainty. It cannot be changed." + +"You mean that you cannot love me?" + +"Not as you would have me do, I do love you very dearly-very dearly, +indeed. I would go to you in any trouble, exactly as I would go to a +brother." + +"And must that be all, Bell?" + +"Is not that all the sweetest love that can be felt? But you must not +think me ungrateful, or proud. I know well that you are-are proposing +to do for me much more than I deserve. Any girl might be proud of such +an offer. But, dear Bernard-" + +"Bell, before you give me a final answer, sleep upon this and talk it +over with your mother. Of course you were unprepared, and I cannot +expect that you should promise me so much without a moment's +consideration." + +"I was unprepared, and therefore I have not answered you as I should +have done. But as it has gone so far, I cannot let you leave me in +uncertainty. It is not necessary that I should keep you waiting. In +this matter I do know my own mind. Dear Bernard, indeed it cannot be as +you have proposed." + +She spoke in a low voice, and in a tone that had in it something of +almost imploring humility; but, nevertheless, it conveyed to her cousin +an assurance that she was in earnest; an assurance also that that +earnest would not readily be changed. Was she not a Dale? And when did +a Dale change his mind? For a while he sat silent by her; and she too, +having declared her intention, refrained from further words. For some +minutes they thus remained, looking down into the ha-ha. She still kept +her old position, holding her hands clasped together over her knees; +but he was now lying on his side, supporting his head upon his arm, +with his face indeed turned towards her, but with his eyes fixed upon +the grass. During this time, however, he was not idle. His cousin's +answer, though it had grieved him, had not come upon him as a blow +stunning him for a moment, and rendering him unfit for instant thought. +He was grieved, more grieved than he had thought he would have been. +The thing that he had wanted moderately, he now wanted the more in that +it was denied to him. But he was able to perceive the exact truth of +his position, and to calculate what might be his chances if he went on +with his suit, and what his advantage if he at once abandoned it. + +"I do not wish to press you unfairly, Bell; but may I ask if any other +preference-" + +"There is no other preference," she answered. And then again they were +silent for a minute or two. + +"My uncle will be much grieved at this," he said at last. + +"If that be all," said Bell, "I do not think that we need either of us +trouble ourselves. He can have no right to dispose of our hearts." + +"I understand the taunt, Bell." + +"Dear Bernard, there was no taunt. I intended none." + +"I need not speak of my own grief. You cannot but know how deep it must +be. Why should I have submitted myself to this mortification had not my +heart been concerned? But that I will bear, if I must bear it-". And +then he paused, looking up at her. + +"It will soon pass away," she said. + +I will accept it at any rate without complaint. But as to my uncle's +feelings, it is open to me to speak, and to you, I should think, to +listen without indifference. He has been kind to us both, and loves us +two above any other living beings. It's not surprising that he should +wish to see us married, and it will not be surprising if your refusal +should be a great blow to him." + +"I shall be sorry-very sorry." + +"I also shall be sorry. I am now speaking of him. He has set his heart +upon it; and as he has but few wishes, few desires, so is he the more +constant in those which he expresses. When he knows this, I fear that +we shall find him very stern." + +"Then he will be unjust." + +"No; he will not be unjust. He is always a just man. But he will be +unhappy, and will, I fear, make others unhappy. Dear Bell, may not this +thing remain for a while unsettled? You will not find that I take +advantage of your goodness. I will not intrude it on you again-say for +a fortnight-or till Crosbie shall be gone." + +"No, no, no," said Bell. + +"Why are you so eager in your noes? There can be no danger in such +delay. I will not press you-and you can let my uncle think that you +have at least taken time for consideration." + +"There are things as to which one is bound to answer at once. If I +doubted myself, I would let you persuade me. But I do not doubt myself, +and I should be wrong to keep you in suspense. Dear, dearest Bernard, +it cannot be; and as it cannot he, you, as my brother, would bid me say +so clearly. It cannot be." + +As she made this last assurance, they heard the steps of Lily and her +lover close to them, and they both felt that it would be well that +their intercourse should thus be brought to a close. Neither had known +how to get up and leave the place, and ye each had felt that nothing +further could then be said. + +"Did you ever see anything so sweet and affectionate and romantic?" +said Lily, standing over them and looking at them. + +"And all the while we have been so practical and worldly. Do you know, +Bell, that Adolphus seems to think we can't very well keep pigs in +London. It makes me so unhappy." + +"It does seem a pity," said Crosbie, "for Lily seems to know all about +pigs." +"Of course I do. I haven't lived in the country all my life for +nothing. Oh, Bernard, I should so like to see you rolled down into the +bottom of the ha-ha. Just remain there, and we'll do it between us." + +Whereupon Bernard got up, as did Bell also, and they all went in to tea. + +CHAPTER IX + +MRS DALE'S LITTLE PARTY + + +The next day was the day of the party. Not a word more was said on that +evening between Bell and her cousin, at least, nut a word more of any +peculiar note; and when Crosbie suggested to his friend on the +following morning that they should both step down and see how the +preparations were getting on at the Small House, Bernard declined. + +"You forget, my dear fellow, that I'm not in love as you are," said he. + +"But I thought you were," said Crosbie. + +"No; not at all as you are. You are an accepted lover, and will be +allowed to do anything-whip the creams, and tune the piano, if you know +how. I'm only a half sort of lover, meditating a mariage de convenance +to oblige an uncle, and by no means required by the terms of my +agreement to undergo a very rigid amount of drill. Your position is +just the reverse." In saying all which Captain Dale was no doubt very +false; but if falseness can be forgiven to a man in any position, it +may be forgiven in that which he then filled. So Crosbie went down to +the Small House alone. + +"Dale wouldn't come," said he, speaking to the three ladies together, +"I suppose he's keeping himself up for the dance on the lawn." + +"I hope he will be here in the evening," said Mrs Dale. But Bell said +never a word. She had determined, that under the existing +circumstances, it would be only fair to her cousin that his offer and +her answer to it should be kept secret. She knew why Bernard did not +come across from the Great House with his friend, but she said nothing +of her knowledge. Lily looked at her, but looked without speaking; and +as for Mrs Dale, she took no notice of the circumstance. Thus they +passed the afternoon together without further mention of Bernard Dale; +and it may be said, at any rate of Lily and Crosbie, that his presence +was not missed. + +Mrs Eames, with her son and daughter, were the first to come." It is so +nice of you to come early," said Lily, trying on the spur of the moment +to say something which should sound pleasant and happy, but in truth +using that form of welcome which to my ears sounds always the most +ungracious. + +"Ten minutes before the time named; and, of course, you must have +understood that I meant thirty minutes after it!" That is my +interpretation of the words-when I am thanked for coming early. But Mrs +Eames was a kind, patient, unexacting woman, who took all civil words +as meaning civility. And, indeed, Lily had meant nothing else. + +"Yes; we did come early," said Mrs Eames, "because Mary thought she +would like to go up into the girls' room and just settle her, hair, you +know." + +"So she shall," said Lily, who had taken Mary by the hand. + +"And we knew we shouldn't be in the way. Johnny can go out into the +garden if there's anything left to be done." +"He shan't be banished unless he likes it," said Mrs Dale. + +"If he finds us women too much for his unaided strength-" + +John Eames muttered something about being very well as he was, and then +got himself into an arm-chair. He had shaken hands with Lily, trying as +he did so to pronounce articulately a little speech which he had +prepared for the occasion. + +"I have to congratulate you, Lily, and I hope with all my heart that +you will be happy." The words were simple enough, and were not +ill-chosen, but the poor young man never got them spoken. The word +"congratulate" did reach Lily's ears, and she understood it all-both +the kindness of the intended speech and the reason why it could not be +spoken. + +"Thank you, John," she said; "I hope I shall see so much of you in +London. It will be so nice to have an old Guestwick friend near me." +She had her own voice, and the pulses of her heart better under command +than had he; but she also felt that the occasion was trying to her. The +man had loved her honestly and truly-still did love her, paying her the +great homage of bitter grief in that he had lost her. Where is the girl +who will not sympathise with such love and such grief, if it be shown +only because it cannot be concealed, and be declared against the will +of him who declares it? + +Then came in old Mrs Hearn, whose cottage was not distant two minutes' +walk from the Small House. She always called Mrs Dale "my dear," and +petted the girls as though they had been children. When told of Lily's +marriage, she had thrown up her hands with surprise, for she had still +left in some corner of her drawers remnants of sugar-plums which she +had bought for Lily. "A London man, is he? Well, well. I wish he lived +in the country. Eight hundred a year, my dear?" she had said to Mrs +Dale. "That sounds nice down here, because we are all so poor. But I +suppose eight hundred a year isn't very much up in London?" + +"The squire's coming, I suppose, isn't he?" said Mrs Hearn, as she +seated herself on the sofa close to Mrs Dale. + +"Yes, he'll be here by-and-by; unless he changes his mind, you know. He +doesn't stand on ceremony with me." + +"He change his mind! When did you ever know Christopher Dale change his +mind?" + +"He is pretty constant, Mrs Hearn." + +"If he promised to give a man a penny, he'd give it. But if he promised +to take away a pound, he'd take it, though it cost him years to get it. +He's going to turn me out of my cottage, he says." + +"Nonsense, Mrs Hearn!" + +"Jolliffe came and told me"-Jolliffe, I should explain, was the +bailiff-"that if I didn't like it as it was, I might leave it, and that +the squire could get double the rent for it. Now all I asked was that +he should do a little painting in the kitchen; and the wood is all as +black as his hat." + +"I thought it was understood you were to paint inside." + +"How can I do it, my dear, with a hundred and forty pounds for +everything? I must live, you know! And he that has workmen about him +every day of the year! And was that a message to send to me, who have +lived in the parish for fifty years? Here he is." And Mrs Hearn +majestically raised herself from her seat as the squire entered the +room. + +With him entered Mr and Mrs Boyce, from the parsonage, with Dick Boyce, +the ungrown gentleman, and two girl Boyces, who were fourteen and +fifteen years of age. Mrs Dale, with the amount of good-nature usual on +such occasions, asked reproachfully why Jane, and Charles, and +Florence, and Bessy, did not come-Boyce being a man who had his quiver +full of them-and Mrs Boyce, giving the usual answer, declared that she +already felt that they had come as an avalanche. + +"But where are the-the-the young men?" asked Lily, assuming a look of +mock astonishment. + +"They'll be across in two or three hours' time," said the squire. + +"They both dressed for dinner, and, as I thought, made themselves very +smart; but for such a grand occasion as this they thought a second +dressing necessary. How do you do, Mrs Hearn? I hope you are quite +well. No rheumatism left, eh?" This the squire said very loud into Mrs +Hearn's ear. Mrs Hearn was perhaps a little hard of hearing; but it was +very little, and she hated to be thought deaf. She did not, moreover, +like to be thought rheumatic. This the squire knew, and therefore his +mode of address was not good-natured. + +"You needn't make me jump so, Mr Dale. I'm pretty well now, thank ye. I +did have a twinge in the spring-that cottage is so badly built for +draughts! I wonder you can live in it,' my sister said to me the last +time she was over. I suppose I should be better off over with her at +Hamersham, only one doesn't like to move, you know, after living fifty +years in one parish." + +"You mustn't think of going away from us," Mrs Boyce said, speaking by +no means loud, but slowly and plainly, hoping thereby to flatter the +old woman. But the old woman understood it all. "She's a sly creature, +is Mrs Boyce," Mrs Hearn said to Mrs Dale, before the evening was out. +There are some old people whom it is very hard to flatter, and with +whom it is, nevertheless, almost impossible to live unless you do +flatter them. + +At last the two heroes came in across the lawn at the drawing-room +window; and Lily, as they entered, dropped a low curtsy before them, +gently swelling down upon the ground with her light muslin dress, till +she looked like some wondrous flower that had bloomed upon the carpet, +and putting her two hands, with the backs of her fingers pressed +together, on the buckle of her girdle, she said, "We are waiting upon +your honours' kind grace, and feel how much we owe to you for favouring +our poor abode." And then she gently rose up again, smiling, oh, so +sweetly, on the man she loved, and the puffings and swellings went out +of her muslin. + +I think there is nothing in the world so pretty as the conscious little +tricks of love played off by a girl towards the man she loves, when she +has made up her mind boldly that all the world may know that she has +given herself away to him. + +I am not sure that Crosbie liked it all as much as he should have done. +The bold assurance of her love when they two were alone together he did +like. What man does not like such assurances on such occasions? But +perhaps he would have been better pleased had Lily shown more +reticence-been more secret, as it were, as to her feelings, when others +were around them. It was not that he accused her in his thoughts of any +want of delicacy. He read her character too well-was, if not quite +aright in his reading of it, at least too nearly so to admit of his +making against her any such accusation as that. It was the calf-like +feeling that was disagreeable to him. He did not like to be presented, +even to the world of Allington, as a victim caught for the sacrifice, +and bound with ribbon for the altar. And then there lurked behind it +all a feeling that it might be safer that the thing should not be so +openly manifested before all the world. Of course, everybody knew that +he was engaged to Lily Dale; nor had he, as he said to himself, perhaps +too frequently, the slightest idea of breaking from that engagement. +But then the marriage might possibly be delayed. He had not discussed +that matter yet with Lily, having, indeed, at the first moment of his +gratified love, created some little difficulty for himself by pressing +for an early day. "I will refuse you nothing," she had said to him; +"but do not make it too soon." He saw, therefore, before him some +little embarrassment, and was inclined to wish that Lily would abstain +from that manner which seemed to declare to all the world that she was +about to be married immediately. "I must speak to her tomorrow," he +said to himself, as he accepted her salute with a mock gravity equal to +her own. + +Poor Lily! How little she understood as yet what was passing through +his mind. Had she known his wish she would have wrapped up her love +carefully in a napkin, so that no one should have seen it-no one but +he, when he might choose to have the treasure uncovered for his sight. +And it was all for his sake that she had been thus open in her ways. +She had seen girls who were half ashamed of their love; but she would +never be ashamed of hers or of him. She had given herself to him; and +now all the world might know it, if all the world cared for such +knowledge. Why should she be ashamed of that which, to her thinking, +was so great an honour to her? She had heard of girls who would not +speak of their love, arguing to themselves cannily that there may be +many a slip between the cup and the lip. There could be no need of any +such caution with her. There could surely be no such slip! Should there +be such a fall-should any such fate, either by falseness or misfortune, +come upon her-no such caution could be of service to save her. The cup +would have been so shattered in its fall that no further piecing of its +parts would be in any way possible. So much as this she did not exactly +say to herself; but she felt it all, and went bravely forward-bold in +her love, and careful to hide it from none who chanced to see it. + +They had gone through the ceremony with the cake and teacups, and had +decided that, at any rate, the first dance or two should be held upon +the lawn when the last of the guests arrived. + +"Oh, Adolphus, I am so glad he has come," said Lily. + +"Do try to like him." Of Dr Crofts, who was the new comer, she had +sometimes spoken to her lover, but she had never coupled her sister's +name with that of the doctor, even in speaking to him. Nevertheless, +Crosbie had in some way conceived the idea that this Crofts either had +been, or was, or was to be, in love with Bell; and as he was prepared +to advocate his friend Dale's claims in that quarter, he was not +particularly anxious to welcome the doctor as a thoroughly intimate +friend of the family. He knew nothing as yet of Dale's. offer, or of +Bell's refusal, but he was prepared for war, if war should be +necessary. Of the squire, at the present moment, he was not very fond; +but if his destiny intended to give him a wife out of this family, he +should prefer the owner of Allington and nephew of Lord De Guest as a +brother-in-law to a village doctor-as he took upon himself, in his +pride, to call Dr Crofts. + +"It is very unfortunate," said he, "but I never do like Paragons." + +"But you must like this Paragon. Not that he is a Paragon at all, for +he smokes and hunts, and does all manner of wicked things." And then +she went forward to welcome her friend. + +Dr Crofts was a slight, spare man, about five feet nine in height, with +very bright dark eyes, a broad forehead, with dark hair that almost +curled, but which did not come so forward over his brow as it should +have done for purposes of beauty-with a thin well-cut nose, and a mouth +that would have been perfect had the lips been a little fuller. The +lower part of his face, when seen alone, had in it somewhat of +sternness, which, however, was redeemed by the brightness of his eyes. +And yet an artist would have declared that the lower features of his +face were by far the more handsome. + +Lily went across to him and greeted him heartily, declaring how glad +she was to have him there. + +"And I must introduce you to Mr Crosbie," she said, as though she was +determined to carry her point. The two men shook hands with each other, +coldly, without saying a word, as young men are apt to do when they are +brought together in that way. Then they separated at once, somewhat to +the disappointment of Lily. Crosbie stood off by himself, both his eyes +turned up towards the ceiling, and looking as though he meant to give +himself airs; while Crofts got himself quickly up to the fireplace, +making civil little speeches to Mrs Dale, Mrs Boyce, and Mrs Hearn. And +then at last he made his way round to Bell. + +"I am so glad," he said, "to congratulate you on your sister's +engagement." + +"Yes," said Bell; + +"we knew that you would be glad to hear of her happiness." + +"Indeed, I am glad; and thoroughly hope that she may be happy. You all +like him, do you not?" + +"We like him very much." + +"And I am told that he is well off. He is a very fortunate man-very +fortunate-very fortunate." + +"Of course we think so," said Bell. + +"Not, however, because he is rich." + +"No; not because he is rich. But because, being worthy of such +happiness, his circumstances should enable him to marry, and to enjoy +it." + +"Yes, exactly," said Bell. "That is just it." Then she sat down, and in +sitting down put an end to the conversation." That is just it," she had +said. But as soon as the words were spoken she declared to herself that +it was not so, and that Crofts was wrong. "We love him," she said to +herself, "not because he is rich enough to marry without anxious +thought, but because he dares to marry although he is not rich." And +then she told herself that she was angry with the doctor. + +After that Dr Crofts got off towards the door, and stood there by +himself, leaning against the wall, with the thumbs of both his hands +stuck into the armholes of his waistcoat. People said that he was a shy +man. I suppose he was shy, and yet he was a man that was by no means +afraid of doing anything that he had to do. He could speak before a +multitude without being abashed, whether it was a multitude of men or +of women. He could be very fixed too in his own opinion, and eager, if +not violent, in the prosecution of his purpose. But he could not stand +and say little words, when he had in truth nothing to say. He could not +keep his ground when he felt that he was not using the ground upon +which he stood. He had not learned the art of assuming himself to be of +importance in whatever place he might find himself. It was this art +which Crosbie had learned and by this art that he had flourished. So +Crofts retired and leaned against the wall near the door; and Crosbie +came forward and shone like an Apollo among all the guests. + +"How is it that he does it?" said John Eames to himself, envying the +perfect happiness of the London man of fashion. + +At last Lily got the dancers out upon the lawn, and then they managed +to go through one quadrille. But it was found that it did not answer. +The music of the single fiddle which Crosbie had hired from Guestwick +was not sufficient for the purpose; and then the grass, though it was +perfect for purposes of croquet, was not pleasant to the feet for +dancing. + +"This is very nice," said Bernard to his cousin." I don't know anything +that could be nicer; but perhaps-" + +"I know what you mean," said Lily. + +"But I shall stay here. There's no touch of romance about any of you. +Look at the moon there at the back of the steeple. I don't mean to go +in all night." Then she walked off by one of the paths, and her lover +went after her. + +"Don't you like the moon?" she said, as she took his arm, to which she +was now so accustomed that she hardly thought of it as she took it. + +"Like the moon ?-well; I fancy I like the sun better. I don't quite +believe in moonlight. I think it does best to talk about when one wants +to be sentimental." + +"Ah; that is just what I fear. That is what I say to Bell when I tell +her that her romance will fade as the roses do. And then I shall have +to learn that prose is more serviceable than poetry, and that the mind +is better than the heart, and-and that money is better than love. It's +all coming, I know; and yet I do like the moonlight." + +"And the poetry-and the love?" + +"Yes. The poetry much, and the love more. To be loved by you is sweeter +even than any of my dreams-is better than all the poetry I have read." + +"Dearest Lily," and his unchecked arm stole round her waist. + +"It is the meaning of the moonlight, and the essence of the poetry," +continued the impassioned girl. + +"I did not know then why I liked such things, but now I know. It was +because I longed to be loved." + +"And to love." +"Oh, yes. I would be nothing without that. But that, you know, is your +delight-or should be. The other is mine. And yet it is a delight to +love you; to know that I may love you." + +"You mean that this is the realisation of your romance." + +"Yes; but it most not be the end of it, Adolphus. You most like the +soft twilight, and the long evenings when we shall be alone; and you +most read to me the books I love, and you most not teach me to think +that the world is hard, and dry, and cruel-not yet. I tell Bell so very +often; but you must not say so to me." + +"It shall not be dry and cruel, if I can prevent it." + +"You understand what I mean, dearest. I will not think it dry and +cruel, even though sorrow should come upon us, if you-I think you know +what I mean." + +"If I am good to you." + +"I am not afraid of that-I am not the least afraid of that. You do not +think that I could ever distrust you? But you must not be ashamed to +look at the moonlight, and to read poetry, and to-" + +"To talk nonsense, you mean." + +But as he said it, he pressed her closer to his side, and his tone was +pleasant to her. + +"I suppose I'm talking nonsense now?" she said, pouting." You liked me +better when I was talking about the pigs; didn't you?" + +"No; I like you best now." + +"And why didn't you like me then? Did I say anything to offend you?" + +"I like you best now, because-" + +They were standing in the narrow pathway of the gate leading from the +bridge into the gardens of the Great House, and the shadow of the +thick-spreading laurels was around them. But the moonlight still +pierced brightly through the little avenue, and she, as she looked up +to him, could see the form of his face and the loving softness of his +eye. + +"Because-," said he; and then he stooped over her and pressed her +closely, while she put up her lips to his, standing on tip-toe that she +might reach to his face. + +"Oh, my love!" she said. "My love! my love!" + +As Crosbie walked back to the Great House that night, he made a firm +resolution that no consideration of worldly welfare should ever induce +him to break his engagement with Lily Dale. He went somewhat further +also, and determined that he would not put off the marriage for more +than six or eight months, or, at the most, ten, if he could possibly +get his affairs arranged in that time. To be sure, he most give up +everything-all the aspirations and ambition of his life; but then, as +he declared to himself somewhat mournfully, he was prepared to do that. +Such were his resolutions, and, as he thought of them in bed, he came +to the conclusion that few men were less selfish than he was. + +"But what will they say to us for staying away?" said Lily, recovering +herself. + +"And I ought to be making the people dance, you know. Come along, and +do make yourself nice. Do waltz with Mary Eames-pray, do. If you don't, +I won't speak to you all night!" + +Acting under which threat, Crosbie did, on his return, solicit the +honour of that young lady's hand, thereby elating her into a seventh +heaven of happiness. What could the world afford better than a waltz +with such a partner as Adolphus Crosbie? And poor Mary Eames could +waltz well; though she could not talk much as she danced, and would +pant a good deal when she stopped. She put too much of her energy into +the motion, and was too anxious to do the mechanical part of the work +in a manner that should be satisfactory to her partner. "Oh! thank +you-it's very nice. I shall be able to go on-again directly." Her +conversation with Crosbie did not get much beyond that, and yet she +felt that she had never done better than on this occasion. + +Though there were, at most, not above five couples of dancers, and +though they who did not dance, such as the squire and Mr Boyce, and a +curate from a neighbouring parish, had, in fact, nothing to amuse them, +the affair was kept on very merrily for a considerable number of hours. +Exactly at twelve o'clock there was a little supper, which, no doubt, +served to relieve Mrs Hearn's ennui, and at which Mrs Boyce also seemed +to enjoy herself. As to the Mrs Boyces on such occasions, I profess +that I feel no pity. They are generally happy in their children's +happiness, or if not, they ought to be. At any rate, they are simply +performing a manifest duty, which duty, in their time, was performed on +their behalf. But on what account do the Mrs Hearns betake themselves +to such gatherings? Why did that ancient lady sit there hour after hour +yawning, longing for her bed, looking every ten minutes at her watch, +while her old bones were stiff and sore, and her old ears pained with +the noise? It could hardly have been simply for the sake of the supper. +After the supper, + +however, her maid took her across to her cottage, and Mrs Boyce also +then stole away home, and the squire went off with some little parade, +suggesting to the young men that they should make no noise in the house +as they returned. But the poor curate remained, talking a dull word +every now and then to Mrs Dale, and looking on with tantalised eyes at +the joys which the world had prepared for others than him. I must say +that I think that public opinion and the bishops together are too hard +upon curates in this particular. + +In the latter part of the night's delight, when time and practice had +made them all happy together, John Eames stood up for the first time to +dance with Lily. She had done all she could, short of asking him, to +induce him to do her this favour; for she felt that it would be a +favour. How great had been the desire on his part to ask her, and, at +the same time, how great the repugnance, Lily, perhaps, did not quite +understand. And yet she understood much of it. She knew that he was not +angry with her. She knew that he was suffering from the injured pride +of futile love, almost as much as from the futile love itself. She +wished to put him at his ease in this; but she did not quite give him +credit for the full sincerity, and the upright, uncontrolled heartiness +of his feelings. + +At length he did come up to her, and though, in truth, she was engaged, +she at once accepted his offer. Then she tripped across the room. +"Adolphus," she said," I can't dance with you, though I said I would. +John Eames has asked me, and I haven't stood up with him before. You +understand, and you'll be a good boy, won't you? +Crosbie, not being in the least jealous, was a good boy, and sat +himself down to rest, hidden behind a door. + +For the first few minutes the conversation between Eames and Lily was +of a very matter-of-fact kind. She repeated her wish that she might see +him in London, and he said that of course he should come and call. Then +there was silence for a little while, and they went through their +figure dancing. + +"I don't at all know yet when we are to be married," said Lily, as soon +as they were again standing together. + +"No; I dare say not," said Eames. + +"But not this year, I suppose. Indeed, I should say, of course not." + +"In the spring, perhaps," suggested Eames. He had an unconscious desire +that it might be postponed to some Greek kalends, and yet he did not +wish to injure Lily. + +"The reason I mention it is this, that we should be so very glad if you +could be here. We all love you so much, and I should so like to have +you here on that day." + +Why is it that girls so constantly do this-so frequently ask men who +have loved them to be present at their marriages with other men? There +is no triumph in it. It is done in sheer kindness and affection. They +intend to offer something which shall soften and not aggravate the +sorrow that they have caused." You can't marry me yourself," the lady +seems to say. "But the next greatest blessing which I can offer you +shall be yours-you shall see me married to somebody else." I fully +appreciate the intention, but in honest truth, I doubt the eligibility +of the proffered entertainment. + +On the present occasion John Eames seemed to be of this opinion, for he +did not at once accept the invitation. + +"Will you not oblige me so far as that?" she said softly. + +"I would do anything to oblige you," said he gruffly; "almost anything." + +"But not that?" + +"No; not that. I could not do that." Then he went off upon his figure, +and when they were next both standing together, they remained silent +till their turn for dancing had again come. Why was it, that after that +night Lily thought more of John Eames than ever she had thought +before-felt for him, I mean, a higher respect, as for a man who had a +will of his own? + +And in that quadrille Crofts and Bell had been dancing together, and +they also had been talking of Lily's marriage. "A man may undergo what +he likes for himself," he had said, "but he has no right to make a +woman undergo poverty." + +"Perhaps not," said Bell. + +"That which is no suffering for a man-which no man should think of for +himself-will make a hell on earth for a woman." + +"I suppose it would," said Bell, answering him without a sign of +feeling in her face or voice. But she took in every word that he spoke, +and disputed their truth inwardly with all the strength of her heart +and mind, and with the very vehemence of her soul." As if a woman +cannot bear more than a man!" she said to herself, as she walked the +length of the room alone, when she had got herself free from the +doctor's arm. + +After that they all went to bed. + +CHAPTER X + +MRS LUPEX AND AMELIA ROPER + + +I should simply mislead a confiding reader if I were to tell him that +Mrs Lupex was an amiable woman. Perhaps the fact that she was not +amiable is the one great fault that should be laid to her charge; but +that fault had spread itself so widely, and had cropped forth in so +many different places of her life, Like a strong rank plant that will +show itself all over a garden, that it may almost be said that it made +her odious in every branch of life, and detestable alike to those who +knew her little and to those who knew her much. If a searcher could +have got at the inside spirit of the woman, that searcher would have +found that she wished to go right-that she did make, or at any rate +promise to herself that she would make, certain struggles to attain +decency and propriety. But it was so natural to her to torment those +whose misfortune brought them near to her, and especially that wretched +man who in an evil day had taken her to his bosom as his wife, that +decency fled from her, and propriety would not live in her quarters. + +Mrs Lupex was, as I have already described her, a woman not without +some feminine attraction in the eyes of those who like morning +negligence and evening finery, and do not object to a long nose +somewhat on one side. She was clever in her way, and could say smart +things. She could flatter also, though her very flattery had always in +it something that was disagreeable. And she must have had some power of +will, as otherwise her husband would have escaped from her before the +days of which I am writing. Otherwise, also, she could hardly have +obtained her footing and kept it in Mrs Roper's drawing-room. For +though the hundred pounds a year, either paid, or promised to be paid, +was matter with Mrs Roper of vast consideration, nevertheless the first +three months of Mrs Lupex's sojourn in Burton Crescent was not over +before the landlady of that house was most anxiously desirous of +getting herself quit of her married boarders. + +I shall perhaps best describe a little incident that had occurred in +Burton Crescent during the absence of our friend Eames, and the manner +in which things were going on in that locality, by giving at length two +letters which Johnny received by post at Guestwick on the morning after +Mrs Dale's party. One was from his friend Cradell, and the other from +the devoted Amelia. In this instance I will give that from the +gentleman first, presuming that I shall best consult my reader's wishes +by keeping the greater delicacy till the last. + +INCOME-TAX OFFICE, September 186-. + +MY DEAR JOHNNY-We have had a terrible affair in the Crescent; and I +really hardly know how to tell you; and yet I must do it, for I want +your advice. You know the sort of standing that I was on with Mrs +Lupex, and perhaps you remember what we were saying on the platform at +the station. I have, no doubt, been fond of her society, as I might be +of that of any other friend. I knew, of course, that she was a fin. +woman; and if her husband chose to be jealous, I couldn't help that. +But I never intended anything wrong; and, if it was necessary, couldn't +I call you as a witness to prove it I never spoke a word to her out of +Mrs Roper's drawing-room; and Miss Spruce, or Mrs Roper, or somebody +has always been there. You know he drinks horribly sometimes, but I do +not think he ever gets downright drunk. Well, he came home last night +about nine o'clock after one of these bouts. From what Jemima says +[Jemima was Mrs Roper's parlour-maid] I believe he had been at it down +at the theatre for three days. We hadn't seen him since Tuesday. He +went straight into the parlour and sent up Jemima to me, to say that he +wanted to see me. Mrs Lupex was in the room and heard the girl summon +me, and, jumping up, she declared that if there was going to be +bloodshed she would leave the house. There was nobody else in the room +but Miss Spruce, and she didn't say a word, but took her candle and +went upstairs. You must own it looked very uncomfortable. What was I to +do with a drunken man down in the parlour? However, she seemed to think +I ought to go." If he comes up here," said she," I shall be the victim. +You little know of what that man is capable, when his wrath has been +inflamed by wine?" Now, I think you are aware that I am not likely to +be very much afraid of any man; but why was I to be got into a row in +such a way as this? I hadn't done anything. And then, if there was to +be a quarrel, and anything was to come of it, as she seemed to +expect-like bloodshed, I mean, or a fight, or if he were to knock me on +the head with the poker, where should I be at my office? A man in a +public office, as you and I are, can't quarrel like anybody else. It +was this that I felt so much at the moment," Go down to him," said +she," unless you wish to see me murdered at your feet." Fisher says, +that if what I say is true, they must have arranged it all between +them. I don't think that; for I do believe that she really is fond of +me. And then everybody knows that they never do agree about anything. +But she certainly did implore me to go down to him. Well, I went down; +and, as I got to the bottom of the stairs, where I found Jemima, I +heard him walking up and down the parlour." Take care of yourself. Mr +Cradell," said the girl; and I could see by her face that she was in a +terrible fright. + +At that moment I happened to see my hat on the hall table, and it +occurred to mc that I ought to put myself into the hands of a friend. +Of course, I was not afraid of that man in the dining-room; but should +I have been justified in engaging in a struggle, perhaps for dear life, +in Mrs Roper's house? I was bound to think of her interests. So I took +up my hat, and deliberately walked out of the front door." Tell him," +said I to Jemima," that I'm not at home." And so I went away direct to +Fisher's, meaning to send him back to Lupex as my friend; but Fisher +was at his chess-club. + +As I thought there was no time to be lost on such an occasion as this. +I went down to the club and called him out. You know what a cool fellow +Fisher is. I don't suppose anything would ever excite him. When I told +him the story, he said that he would sleep upon it; and I had to walk +up and down before the club while he finished his game. Fisher seemed +to think that I might go back to Burton Crescent; but, of course I knew +that that would be out of the question. So it ended in my going home +and sleeping on his sofa, and sending for some of my things in the +morning. I wanted him to get up and see Lupex before going to the +office this morning. But he seemed to think It would be better to put +it off, and so be will call upon him at the theatre immediately after +office hours. + +I want you to write to me at once saying what you know about the +matter, I ask you, as I don't want to lug in any of the other people at +Roper's. It is very uncomfortable, as I can't exactly leave her at once +because of last quarter's money, otherwise I should cut and run; for +the house is not the sort of place either for you or time. You may take +my word for that, Master Johnny. And I could tell you another thing, +too about A.R., only I don't want to make mischief. But do you write +immediately. And now I think of it, you had better write to Fisher, so +that he can show your letter to Lupex-just saying, that to the best of +your belief there had never been anything between her and me but mere +friendship; and that, of course, you, as my friend, must have known +everything. Whether I shall go back to Roper's to-night will depend run +what Fisher says after the interview. + +Good-bye, old fellow! I hope you are enjoying yourself, and that L.D. +is quite well- + +Your sincere friend, + +JOSEPH CRADELL + +John Eames read this letter over twice before he opened that from +Amelia. He had never yet received a letter from Miss Roper; and felt +very little of that ardour for its perusal which young men generally +experience on the receipt of a first letter from a young lady. The +memory of Amelia was at the present moment distasteful to him; and he +would have thrown the letter unopened into the fire, had he not felt it +might be dangerous to do so. As regarded his friend Cradell, he could +not but feel ashamed of him-ashamed of him, not for running away from +Mr Lupex, but for excusing his escape on false pretences. + +And then, at last, he opened the letter from Amelia. + +"Dearest John," it began; and as he read the words, he crumpled the +paper up between his fingers. It was written in a fair female hand, +with sharp points instead of curves to the letters, but still very +legible, and looking as though there were a decided purport in every +word of it. + +DEAREST JOHN-it feels so strange to me to write to you in such language +as this, And yet you are dearest, and have I not a right to call you +so? And are you not my own, and am not I yours? [Again he crunched the +paper up in his hand, and, as he did so, he muttered words which I need +not repeat at length. But still he went on with his letter.] I know +that we understand each other perfectly, and when that is the case, +heart should be allowed to speak openly to heart. Those are my +feelings, and I believe that you will find them reciprocal in your own +bosom. Is it not sweet to be loved? I find it so. And, dearest John, +let me assure you, with open candour, that there is no room for +jealousy in this breast with regard to you. I have too much confidence +for that, I can assure you, both in your honour and in my own-I would +say charms, only you would call me vain. You must not suppose that I +meant what I said about L. D. + +Of course, you wall be glad to see the friends of your childhood; and +it would be far from your Amelia's heart to begrudge you such +delightful pleasure. Your friends will. I hope, some day be any +friends. [Another crunch.] And if there be any one among them, any real +L. D. whom you have specially liked, I wall receive her to my heart, +specially also. [This assurance on the part of his Amelia was too much +for him, and he threw the letter from him, thinking whence he might get +relief-whether from suicide or from the colonies; but presently he took +it up again, and drained the bitter cup to the bottom.] And if I seemed +petulant to you before you went away, you must forgive your own Amelia. +I had nothing before me but misery for the month of your absence. There +is no one here congenial to my feelings-of course not. And you would +not wish me to be happy in your absence-would you? I can assure you, +let your wishes he what they may, I never can be happy again unless you +are with me. Write to me one little line, and tell me that you are +grateful to me for my devotion. + +And now, I must tell you that we have had a sad affair in the house; +and I do not think that your friend Mr Cradell has behaved at all well. +You remember how he has been always going on with Mrs Lupex. Mother was +quite unhappy about it, though she didn't like to say anything. Of +course, when a lady's name is concerned, it is particular. Bur Lupex +has become dreadful jealous during the last week, and we all knew that +something was coming. She is an artful woman, but I don't think she +meant anything bad-only to drive her husband to desperation. He came +here yesterday in one of his tantrums, and wanted to see Cradell; but +he got frightened, and took his hat and went off. Now, that wasn't +quite right. If he was innocent, why didn't he stand his ground and +explain the mistake? As mother says, it gives the house such a name. +Lupex swore last night that he'd be off to the Income Tax Office this +morning, and have Cradell out before the commissioners, and clerks, and +everybody. If he does that, it will get into the papers, and all London +will be full of it. She would like it. I know; for all she cares for is +to be talked about; but only thank what it will be for mother's house. +I wish you were here; for your high prudence and courage would set +everything right at once-at least, I think so. + +I shall count the minutes till I get an answer to this, and shall envy +the postman who will have your letter before it will reach me. Do write +at once. If I do not hear by Monday Morning I shall think that +something is the matter. Even though you are among your dear old +friends, surely you can find a moment to write to your own Amelia. + +Mother is very unhappy about this affair of the Lupexes. She says that +if you were here to advise her she should not mind it so much. It is +very hard upon her, for she does strive to make the house respectable +and comfortable for everybody. I would send my duty and love to your +dear mamma, if I only knew her, as I hope I shall do one day, and to +your sister, and to L. D. also, if you like to tell her how we are +situated together. So, now, no more from your + +Always affectionate sweetheart, + +AMELIA ROPER. + +Poor Eames did not feel the least gratified by any part of this fond +letter; but the last paragraph of it was the worst. Was it to be +endured by him that this woman should send her love to his mother and +to his sister, and even to Lily Dale! He felt that there was a +pollution in the very mention of Lily's name by such an one as Amelia +Roper. And yet Amelia Roper was, as she had assured him-his own. Much +as he disliked her at the present moment, he did believe that he +was-her own. He did feel that she had obtained a certain property in +him, and that his destiny in life would tie him to her. He had said +very few words of love to her at any time-very few, at least, that were +themselves of any moment; but among those few there had undoubtedly +been one or two in which he had told her that he loved her. And he had +written to her that fatal note! Upon the whole, would it not be as well +for him to go out to the great reservoir behind Guestwick, by which the +Hamersham Canal was fed with its waters, and put an end to his +miserable existence? + +On that same day he did write a letter to Fisher, and he wrote also to +Cradell. As to those letters he felt no difficulty. To Fisher he +declared his belief that Cradell was innocent as he was himself as +regarded Mrs Lupex. I don't think he is the sort of man to make up to a +married woman," he said, somewhat to Cradell's displeasure, when the +letter reached the Income-tax Office; for that gentleman was not averse +to the reputation for success in love which the little adventure was, +as he thoughts calculated to give him among his brother clerks. At the +first bursting of the shell, when that desperately jealous man was +raging in the parlour, incensed by the fumes both of wine and love, +Cradell had felt that the affair was disagreeably painful. But on the +morning of the third day-for he had passed two nights on his friend +Fisher's sofa-he had begun to be somewhat proud of it, and did not +dislike to hear Mrs Lupex's name in the mouths of the other clerks. +When, therefore, Fisher read to him the letter front Guestwick, he +hardly was pleased with his friend's tone. "Ha, ha, ha," said he, +laughing." That's just what I wanted him to say. Make up to a married +woman, indeed. No; I'm the last man in London to do that sort of thing." + +"Upon my word, Caudle, I think you are," said Fisher;" the very last +man." + +And then poor Cradell was not happy. On that afternoon he boldly went +to Burton Crescent, and ate his dinner there. Neither Mr nor Mrs Lupex +were to be seen, nor were their names mentioned to him by Mrs Roper. In +the course of the evening he did pluck up courage to ask Miss Spruce +where they were; but that ancient lady merely shook her head solemnly, +and declared that she knew nothing about such goings on-no. not she. + +But what was John Eames to do as to that letter from Amelia Roper? He +felt that any answer to it would be very dangerous, and yet that he +could not safely leave it unanswered. He walked off by himself across +Guestwick Common, and through the woods of Guestwick Manor, up by the +big avenue of elms in Lord De Guest's park, trying to resolve how he +might rescue himself from this scrape. Here, over the same ground, he +had wandered scores of times in his earlier years, when he knew nothing +beyond the innocence of his country home, thinking of Lily Dale, and +swearing to himself that she should be his wife. Here he had strung +together his rhymes, and fed his ambition with high hopes, building +gorgeous castles in the air, in all of which Lilian reigned as a queen; +and though in those days he had known himself to be awkward, poor, +uncared for by any in the world except his mother and his sister, yet +he had been happy in his hopes-happy in his hopes, even though he had +never taught himself really to believe that they would he realised. But +now there was nothing in his hopes or thoughts to make him happy. +Everything was black, and wretched, and ruinous. What would it matter, +after all, even if he should marry Amelia Roper. seeing that Lily was +to be given to another? But then the idea of Amelia as he had seen her +that night through the chink in the door came upon his memory, and he +confessed to himself that life with such a wife as that would be a +living death. + +At one moment he thought that he would tell his mother everything, and +leave her to write an answer to Amelia's letter. Should the worst come +to the worst, the Ropers could not absolutely destroy him. That they +could bring an action against him, and have him locked up for a term of +years, and dismissed from his office, and exposed in all the +newspapers, he seemed to know. That might all, however, be endured, if +only the gauntlet could be thrown down fur him by some one else. The +one thing which he felt that he could not do was, to write to a girl +whom he had professed to love, and tell her that he did not love her. +He knew that he could not himself form such words upon the paper; nor, +as he was well aware, could he himself find the courage to tell her to +her face that he had changed his mind. He knew that he must become the +victim of his Amelia, unless he could find some friendly knight to do +battle in his favour; and then again he thought of his mother. + +But when he returned home he was as far as ever from any resolve to +tell her how he was situated. I may say that his walk had done him no +good, and that he had not made up his mind to anything. He had been +building those pernicious castles in the air during more than half the +time; not castles in the building of which he could make himself happy, +as he had done in the old days, but black castles, with cruel dungeons. +into which hardly a ray of life could find its way. In all these +edifices his imagination pictured to him Lily as the wife of Mr +Crosbie. He accepted that as a fact, and then went to work in his +misery, making her as wretched as himself, through the misconduct and +harshness of her husband. He tried to think, and to resolve what he +would do; but there is no task so hard as that of thinking, when the +mind has an objection to the matter brought before it. The mind, under +such circumstances, is like a horse that is brought to the water, but +refuses to drink. So Johnny returned to his home, still doubting +whether or no he would answer Amelia's letter. And if he did not answer +it, how would he conduct himself on his return to Burton Crescent? + +I need hardly say that Miss Roper, in writing her letter, had been +aware of all this, and that Johnny's position had been carefully +prepared for him by-his affectionate sweetheart. + +CHAPTER XI + +SOCIAL LIFE + + +Mr and Mrs Lupex had eaten a sweetbread together in much connubial +bliss on that day which had seen Cradell returning to Mrs Roper's +hospitable board. They had together eaten a sweetbread, with some other +delicacies of the season, in the neighbourhood of the theatre, and had +washed down all unkindness with bitter beer and brandy-and-water. But +of this reconciliation Cradell had not heard; and when he saw them come +together into the drawing-room, a few minutes after the question he had +addressed to Miss Spruce, he was certainly surprised. + +Lupex was not an ill-natured man nor one naturally savage by +disposition. He was a man fond of sweetbread and little dinners, and +one to whom hot brandy-and-water was too dear. Had the wife of his +bosom been a good helpmate to him, he might have gone through the +world, if not respectably, at any rate without open disgrace. But she +was a woman who left a man no solace except that to be found in +brandy-and-water. For eight years they had been man and wife; and +sometimes-I grieve to say it-he had been driven almost to hope that she +would commit a married woman's last sin, and leave him. In his misery, +any mode of escape would have been welcome to him. Had his energy been +sufficient he would have taken his scene-painting capabilities off to +Australia-or to the farthest shifting of scenes known on the world's +stage. But he was an easy, listless, self-indulgent man; and at any +moment, let his misery be as keen as might be, a little dinner, a few +soft words, and a glass of brandy-and-water would bring him round. The +second glass would make him the fondest husband living; hut the third +would restore to him the memory of all his wrongs, and give him courage +against his wife or all the world-even to the detriment of the +furniture around him, should a stray poker chance to meet his hand. All +these peculiarities of his character were not, however, known to +Cradell; and when our friend saw him enter the drawing-room with his +wife on his arm, he was astonished. + +"Mr Cradell, your hand," said Lupex, who had advanced as far as the +second glass of brandy-and-water, but had not been allowed to go beyond +it. "There has been a misunderstanding between us; let it be forgotten." + +"Mr Cradell, if I know him," said the lady, "is too much the gentleman +to bear any anger when a gentleman has offered him his hand." + +"Oh, I'm sure," said Cadell, "I'm quite-indeed, I'm delighted to find +there's nothing wrong after all." And then he shook hands with both of +them; whereupon Miss Spruce got up, curtsyed low, and also shook hands +with the husband and wife. + +"You're not a married man, Mr Cradell," said Lurex, "and therefore you +cannot understand the workings of a husband's heart. There have been +moments when my regard for that woman has been too much for me." + +"Now, Lupex, don't," said she, playfully tapping him with an old +parasol which she still held. + +"And I do not hesitate to say that my regard for her was too much for +me on that night when I sent for you to the dining-room." + +"I'm glad it's all put right now," said Cradell. + +"Very glad, indeed," said Miss Spruce. + +"And, therefore, we need not say any more about it," said Mrs Lupex. + +"One word," said Lupex, waving his hand. "Mr Cradell, I greatly rejoice +that you did not obey my summons on that night. Had you done so-I +confess it now-had you done so, blood would have been the consequence. +I was mistaken. I acknowledge my mistake-but blood would have been the +consequence." + +"Dear, dear, dear," said Miss Spruce. + +"Miss Spruce," continued Lurex, "there are moments when the heart +becomes too strong for a man." + +"I dare say," said Miss Spruce. + +"Now, Lupex, that will do," said his wife. + +"Yes; that will do. But I think it right to tell Mr Cradell that I am +glad he did not come to me. Your friend, Mr Cradell, did me the honour +of calling on me at the theatre yesterday, at half-past four; but I was +in the slings then and could not very well come down to him. I shall be +happy to see you both any day at five, and to bury all unkindness with +a chop and glass at the Pot and Poker, in Bow Street. + +"I'm sure you're very kind," said Cradell. + +"And Mrs Lupex will join us. There's a delightful little snuggery +upstairs at the Pot. and Poker; and if Miss Spruce will condescend to-" + +"Oh, I'm an old woman, sir." + +"No-no--no," said Lurex, "I deny that. Come, Cradell, what do you +say-just a snug little dinner for four, you know." + +It was, no doubt, pleasant to see Mr Lupex in his present mood-much +pleasanter than in that other mood of which blood would have been the +consequence: but pleasant as he now was, it was, nevertheless, apparent +that he was not quite sober. Cradell therefore, did not settle the day +for the little dinner; but merely remarked that he should be very happy +at some future day. + +"And now, Lupex, suppose you get off to bed," said his wife. "You've +had a very trying day, you know." + +"And you, ducky?" + +"I shall come presently. Now don't be making a fool of yourself, but +get yourself off. Come-"and she stood close up against the open door, +waiting for him to pass. + +"I rather think I shall remain where I am, and have a glass of +something hot," said he. +"Lupex, do you want to aggravate me again?" said the lady, and she +looked at him with a glance of her eye which he thoroughly understood. +He was not in a humour for fighting, nor was he at present desirous of +blood; so he resolved to go. But as he went he prepared himself for new +battles. "I shall do something desperate-I am sure; I know I shall," he +said, as he pulled off his boots. + +"Oh, Mr Cradell," said Mrs Lupex as soon as she had closed the door +behind her retreating husband, "how am I ever to look you in the face +again after the events of these last memorable days?" And then she +seated herself on the sofa, and hid her face in a cambric handkerchief. + +"As for that," said Cradell," what does it signify-among friends like +us, you know? + +"but that it should be known at your office, as of course it is, +because of the gentleman that went down to him at the theatre-I don't +think I shall ever survive it." + +"You see I was obliged to send somebody, Mrs Lupex." + +"I'm not finding fault, Mr Cradell. I know very well that in my +melancholy position I have no right to find fault, and I don't pretend +to understand gentlemen's feelings towards each other. But to have had +my name mentioned up with yours in that way is-Oh! Mr Cradell, I don't +know how I'm ever to look you in the face again." And again she buried +hers in her pocket- handkerchief. + +"Handsome is as handsome does." said Miss Spruce; and there was that in +her tone of voice which seemed to convey much hidden meaning. + +"Exactly so, Miss Spruce," said Mrs Lurex; "and that's my only comfort +at the present moment. Mr Cradell is a gentleman who would scorn to +take advantage-I'm quite sure of that." And then she did contrive to +look at him over the edge of the hand which held the handkerchief. + +"That I wouldn't, I'm sure," said Cadell. "That is to say-" + +And then he paused. He did not wish to get into a scrape about Mrs +Lupex. He was by n means anxious to encounter her husband in one of his +fits of jealousy. But he did like the idea of being talked of as the +admirer of a married woman, and he did like the brightness of the +lady's eyes. When the unfortunate moth in his semi-blindness whisks +himself and his wings within the flame of the candle, and finds himself +mutilated and tortured, he even then will not take the lesson, but +returns again and again till he is destroyed. Such a moth was poor +Cradell. There was no warmth to be got by him from that flame. There +was no beauty in the light-not even the false brilliance of unhallowed +love. Injury might come to him--a pernicious clipping of the wings, +which might destroy all power of future flight; injury, and not +improbably destruction, if he should persevere. But one may say that no +single hour of happiness could accrue to him from his intimacy with Mrs +Lupex. lie felt for her no love. He was afraid of her, and, in mane +respects, disliked her. But to him, in his moth-like weakness, +ignorance, and blindness, it seemed to be a great thing that he should +be allowed to fly near the candle. Oh! my friends, if you will but +think of it, how many of you have been moths, and are now going about +ungracefully with wings more or less burnt off, and with bodies sadly +scorched! + +But before Mr Cradell could make up his mind whether or no he would +take advantage of the present opportunity for another dip into the +flame of the candle-in regard to which proceeding, however, he could +not but feel that the presence of Miss Spruce was objectionable-the +door of the room was opened, and Amelia Roper joined the party. + +"Oh, indeed; Mrs Lupex," she said. "And Mr Cradell!" + +"And Miss Spruce, my dear," said Mrs Lupex, pointing to the ancient +lady. + +"I'm only an old woman," said Miss Spruce. + +"Oh, yes; I see Miss Spruce," said Amelia. "I was not hinting anything, +I can assure you." + +"I should think not. my dear," said Mrs Lupex. + +"Only I didn't know that you two were quite-That is, when last I heard +about it, I fancied-But if the quarrel's made up, there's nobody more +rejoiced than I am." + +"The quarrel is made up," said Cradell. + +"If Mrs Lupex is satisfied, I'm sure I am," said Amelia. + +"Mr Lupex is satisfied," said Mrs Lupex;" and let me tell you, my dear, +seeing that you are expecting to get married yourself-" + +"Mrs Lupex, I'm not expecting to get married-not particularly, by any +means." + +"Oh, I thought you were. And let me tell you, that when you've got a +husband of your own, you won't find it so easy to keep everything +straight. That's the worst of these lodgings if there is any little +thing, everybody knows it. Don't they, Miss Spruce?" + +"Lodgings is so much more comfortable than house-keeping," said Miss +Spruce, who lived rather in fear of her relatives, the Ropers. + +"Everybody knows it; does he?" said Amelia. "Why, if a gentleman will +come home at night tipsy and threaten to murder another gentleman in +the same house; and if a lady-" + +And then Amelia paused, for she knew that the line-of-battle ship which +she was preparing to encounter had within her much power of fighting. + +"Well, miss," said Mrs Lupex, getting on her feet, "and what of the +lady?" + +Now we may say that the battle had begun, and that the two ships were +pledged by the general laws of courage and naval warfare to maintain +the contest till one of them should be absolutely disabled, if not +blown up or sunk. And at this moment it might be difficult for a +bystander to say with which of the combatants rested the better chance +of permanent success. Mrs Lupex had doubtless on her side more matured +power, a habit of fighting which had given her infinite skill, a +courage which deadened her to the feeling of all wounds while the heat +of the battle should last, and a recklessness which made her almost +indifferent whether she sank or swam. But then Amelia carried the +greater guns, and was able to pour in heavier metal than her enemy +could use; and she, too, swam in her own waters. Should they absolutely +come to grappling and boarding, Amelia would no doubt have the best of +it; but Mrs Lupex would probably be too crafty to permit such a +proceeding as that. She was, however, ready for the occasion, and +greedy for the fight. + +"And what of the lady?" said she, in a tone of voice that admitted of +no pacific rejoinder. + +"A lady, if she is a lady," said Amelia, "will know how to behave +herself." + +"And you're going to teach me, are you, Miss Roper? I'm sure I'm ever +so much obliged to you. It's Manchester manners, I suppose, that you +prefer?" + +"I prefer honest manners, Mrs Lupex, and decent manners, and manners +that won't shock a whole house full of people and I don't care whether +they come from Manchester or London." + +"Milliner's manners, I suppose? + +"I don't care whether they are milliner's manners or theatrical, Mrs +Lupex, as long as they're not downright bad manners-as yours are, Mrs +Lupex. And now you've got it. What are you going on for in this way +with that young man, till you'll drive your husband into a madhouse +with drink and jealousy?" + +"Miss Roper! Miss Roper!" said Cradell; " now really-" + +"Don't mind her. Mr Cradell," said Mrs Lurex; "she's not worthy for you +to speak to. And as to that poor fellow Eames, if you've any friendship +for him, you'll let him know what she is. My dear, how's Mr Juniper, of +Grogram's house, at Salford? I know all about you, and so shall John +Eames, too-poor unfortunate fool of a fellow! Telling me of drink and +jealousy. indeed" + +"Yes, telling you! And now you've mentioned Mr Juniper's name, Mr +Eames, and Mr Cradell too, may know the whole of it. There's been +nothing about Mr Juniper that I'm ashamed of." + +"It would be difficult to make you ashamed of anything, I believe." + +"But let me tell you this, Mrs Lupex, you're not going to destroy the +respectability of this house by your goings on." + +"It was a bad day for me when I let Lupex bring me into it." + +"Then pay your bill, and walk out of it," said Amelia, waving her hand +towards the door. "I'll undertake to say there shan't be any notice +required. Only you pay mother what you owe, and you're free to go at +once." + +"I shall go just when I please, and not one hour before. Who are you, +you gipsy, to speak to me in this way?" + +"And as for going, go you shall, if we have to call in the police to +make you." + +Amelia, as at this period of the fight she stood fronting her foe with +her arms akimbo, certainly seemed to have the best of the battle. But +the bitterness of Mrs Lupex's tongue had hardly yet produced its +greatest results. I am inclined to think that the married lady would +have silenced her who was single, had the fight been allowed to +rage-always presuming that no resort to grappling-irons took place. But +at this moment Mrs Roper entered the room, accompanied by her son, and +both the combatants for a moment retreated. + +"Amelia, what's all this?" said Mrs Roper, trying to assume a look of +agonised amazement. + +"Ask Mrs Lupex," said Amelia + +"And Mrs Lupex will answer," said that lady. "Your daughter has come in +here, and attacked me-in such language-before Mr Cradell too-" + +"Why doesn't she pay what she owes, and leave the house?" said Amelia. + +"Hold your tongue," said her brother. + +"What she owes is no affair of yours." + +"But it's an affair of mine, when I'm insulted by such a creature as +that." + +"Creature!" said Mrs Lurex. "I'd like to know which is most like a +creature! But I'll tell you, what it is, Amelia Roper- + +"Here, however, her eloquence was stopped, for Amelia had disappeared +through the door, having been pushed out of the room by her brother. +Whereupon Mrs Lupex, having found a sofa convenient for the service, +betook herself to hysterics. There for the moment we will leave her, +hoping that poor Mrs Roper was not kept late out of her bed. + +"What a deuce of a mess Eames will make of it if he marries that girl!" +Such was Cradell's reflection as he betook himself to his own room. But +of his own part in the night's transactions he was rather proud than +otherwise, feeling that the married lady's regard for him had been the +cause of the battle which had raged. So, likewise, did Paris derive +much gratification from the ten years' siege of Troy. + +CHAPTER XII + +LILIAN DALE BECOMES A BUTTERFLY + + +And now we will go back to Allington. The same morning that brought to +John Eames the two letters which were given in the last chapter but +one, brought to the Great House, among others, the following epistle +for Adolphus Crosbie. It was from a countess, and was written on pink +paper, beautifully creamlaid and scented, ornamented with a coronet and +certain singularly-entwined initial. Altogether, the letter was very +fashionable and attractive, and Adolphus Crosbie was by no means sorry +to receive it. + +Courcy Castle, September 186-. + +My dear Mr Crosbie-We have heard of you from the Gazebees, who have +come down to us, and who tell us that you are rusticating at a charming +little village, in which, among other attractions, there are wood +nymphs and water nymphs, to whom much of your time is devoted. As this +is just the thing for your taste, I would not for worlds disturb you; +but if you should ever tear yourself away from the groves and fountains +of Allington, we shall be delighted to welcome you here, though you +will find us very unromantic after your late Elysium. + +Lady Dumbello is coming to us, who I know is a favourite of yours. Or +is it the other way, and are you a favourite of hers? I did ask Lady +Hartletop, but she cannot get away from the poor marquis, who is, you +know, so very infirm. The duke isn't at Gatherum at present, but, of +course, I don't mean that that has anything to do with dear Lady +Hartletop coming to us. I believe we shall have the house full, and +shall not want for nymphs either, though I fear they will not be of the +wood and water kind. Margaretta and Alexandrina particularly want you +to come, as they say you are so clever at making a houseful of people +go off well. If you can give us a week before you go back to manage the +affairs of the nation, pray do.-Yours very sincerely, + +Rosina de Courcy. + +The Countess de Courcy was a very old friend of Mr Crosbie's; that is +to say, as old friends go in the world in which he had been living. He +had known her for the last six or seven years, and had been in the +habit of going to all her London balls, and dancing with her daughters +everywhere, in a most good-natured and affable way. He had been +intimate, from old family relations, with Mr Mortimer Gazebee, who, +though only an attorney of the more distinguished kind, had married the +countess's eldest daughter, and now sat in Parliament for the city of +Barchester, near to which Courcy Castle was situated. And, to tell the +truth honestly at once, Mr Crosbie had been on terms of great +friendship with Lady de Courcy's daughters, the Ladies Margaretta and +Alexandrina-perhaps especially so with the latter, though I would not +have my readers suppose by my saving so that anything more tender than +friendship had ever existed between them. + +Crosbie said nothing about the letter on that morning; but during the +day, or, perhaps, as he thought over the matter in bed, he made up his +mind that he would accept Lady de Courcy's invitation. It was not only +that he would he glad to see the Gazebees, or glad to stay in the same +house with that great master in the high art of fashionable life, Lady +Dumbello, or glad to renew his friendship with the Ladies Margaretta +and Alexandrina. Had he felt that the circumstances of his engagement +with Lily made it expedient for him to stay with her till the end of +his holidays, he could have thrown over the De Courcys without a +struggle. But he told himself that it would + +be well for him now to tear himself away from Lily; or perhaps he said +that it would be well for Lily that he should be torn away. He must not +teach her to think that they were to live only in the sunlight of each +other's eyes during those months, or perhaps years, which mutt elapse +before their engagement could be carried out. Nor must he allow her to +suppose that either he or she were to depend solely upon the other for +the amusements and employments of life. In this way he argued the +matter very sensibly within hit own mind, and resolved, without much +difficulty, that he would go to Courcy Castle, and bask for a week in +the sunlight of the fashion which would he collected there. The quiet +humdrum of his own fireside would come upon him soon enough! + +"I think I shall leave you on Wednesday, sir," Crosbie said to the +squire at breakfast on Sunday morning. + +"Leave us on Wednesday!" said the squire, who had an old-fashioned idea +that people who were engaged to marry each other should remain together +as lone as circumstances could be made to admit of their doing so. +"Nothing wrong, is there?" + +"Oh, dear, no! But everything must come to an end some day; and as I +must make one or two short visits before I get back to town, I might as +well go on Wednesday. Indeed, I have made it as late as I possibly +could." + +"Where do you go from here?" asked Bernard. + +"Well, as it happens, only into the next county-to Courcy Castle." And +then there was nothing more said about the matter at that +breakfast-table. + +It had become their habit to meet together on the Sunday mornings +before church, on the lawn belonging to the Small House, and on this +day the three gentlemen walked down together, and found Lily and Bell +already waiting for them. They generally had some few minutes to spare +on those occasions before Mrs Dale summoned them to pass through the +house to church, and such was the case at present. The squire at these +times would stand in the middle of the grass-plot, surveying his +grounds, and taking stock of the shrubs, and flowers, and fruit-trees +round him; for he never forgot that it was all his own, and would thus +use this opportunity, as he seldom came down to see the spot on other +days. Mrs Dale, as she would see him from her own window while she was +tying on her bonnet, would feel that she knew what was passing through +his mind, and would regret that circumstances had forced her to be +beholden to him for such assistance. But, in truth, she did not know +all that he thought at such times. "It is mine," he would say to +himself. as he looked around on the pleasant place. + +"But it is well for me that they should enjoy it. She is my brother's +widow, and she is welcome-very welcome," I think that if those two +persons had known more than. they did of each other's hearts and minds +they might have loved each other better. + +And then Crosbie told Lily of his intention, "On Wednesday!" she said, +turning almost pale with emotion as she heard this news. He had told +her abruptly, not thinking, probably, that such tidings would affect +her so strongly. + +"Well, yes. I have written to Lady de Courcy and said Wednesday. It +wouldn't do for me exactly to drop everybody, and perhaps-" + +"Oh, no! And, Adolphus, you don't suppose I begrudge your going. Only +it does seem so sudden; does it not?" + +"You see, I've been here over six weeks." +"Yes; you've been very good. When I think of it, what a six weeks it +has been! I wonder whether the difference seems to you as great as it +does to me. I've left off being a grub, and begun to be a butterfly." + +"But you mustn't be a butterfly when you're married, Lily." + +"No; not in that sense. But I meant that my real position in the +world-that for which I would fain hope that I was created-opened to me +only when I knew you and knew that you loved me. But mamma is calling +us, and we must go through to church. Going on Wednesday! There are +only three days more, then!" + +"Yes, just three days," he said, as he took her on his arm and passed +through the house on to the road. + +"And when are we to see you again?" she asked, as they reached the +churchyard. + +"Ah, who is to say that yet? We must ask the Chairman of Committees +when he will let me go again." Then there was nothing more said, and +they all followed the squire through the little porch and up to the big +family-pew in which they all sat. Here the squire took his place in one +special corner which he had occupied ever since his father's death, and +from which he read the responses loudly and plainly-so loudly and +plainly, that the parish clerk could by no means equal him, though with +emulous voice he still made the attempt. "T' squire d like to be +squire, and parson, and clerk, and everything; so a would," the poor +clerk would say, when complaining of the ill-usage which he suffered. + +If Lily's prayers were interrupted by her new sorrow, I think that her +fault in that respect would be forgiven. Of course she had known that +Crosbie was not going to remain at Allington much longer. She knew +quite as well as he did the exact day on which his leave of absence +came to its end, and the hour at which it behoved him to walk into his +room at the General Committee Office. She had taught herself to think +that he would remain with them up to the end of his vacation, and now +she felt as a schoolboy would fed who was told suddenly, a day or two +before the time, that the Last week of his holidays was to be taken +from him. The grievance would have been slight had she known it from +the first; but what schoolboy could stand such a shock, when the loss +amounted to two-thirds of his remaining wealth? Lily did not blame her +lover. She did not even think that he ought to stay. She would not +allow herself to suppose that he could propose anything that was +unkind. But she felt her loss, and more than once, as she knelt at her +prayers, she wiped a hidden tear from her eyes. + +Crosbie also was thinking of his departure more than he should have +done during Mr Boyce's sermon. "It's easy listening to him," Mrs Hearn +used to say of her husband's successor. "It don't give one much trouble +following him into his arguments." Mr Crosbie perhaps found the +difficulty greater than did Mrs Hearn, and would have devoted his mind +more perfectly to the discourse had the argument been deeper. It is +very hard, that necessity of listening to a man who says nothing. On +this occasion Crosbie ignored the necessity altogether, and gave up his +mind to the consideration of what it. might he expedient that he should +say to Lily before he went. He remembered well those few words which he +had spoken in the first ardour of his love, pleading that an early day +might be fixed for their marriage. And he remembered, also, how +prettily Lily had yielded to him. "Only do not let it be too soon," she +had said. Now he must unsay what he had then said, lie must plead +against his own pleadings, and explain to her that he desired to +postpone the marriage rather than to hasten it-a task which, I presume, +must always be an unpleasant one for any man engaged to he married. "I +might as well do it at once," he said to himself, as he bobbed his head +forward into his hands by way of returning thanks fur the termination +of Mr Boyce's sermon. + +As he had only three days left, it was certainly as well that he should +do this at once. Seeing that Lily had no fortune, she could not in +justice complain of a prolonged engagement. That was the argument which +he used in his own mind. But he as often told himself that she would +have very great ground of complaint if she were left for a day +unnecessarily in doubt as to this matter. Why had he rashly spoken +those hasty words to her in his love, betraying himself into all manner +of scrapes, as a schoolboy might do, or such a one as Johnny Eames? +What an ass he had been not to have remembered himself and to have been +collected-not to have bethought himself on the occasion of all that +might be due to Adolphus Crosbie! And then the idea came upon him +whether he had not altogether made himself an ass in this matter. And +as he gave his arm to Lily outside the church-door, he shrugged his +shoulders while making that reflection. "It is too late now," he said +to himself; and than turned round and made some sweet little loving +speech to her. Adolphus Crosbie was a clever man; and he meant also to +be a true man-if only the temptations to falsehood might not be too +great for him. + +"Lily" he said to her, "will you walk in the fields after lunch?" + +Walk in the fields with him! Of course she would. There were only three +days left, and would she not give up to him every moment of her time, +if he would accept of all her moments? And then they lunched at the +Small House, Mrs Dale having promised to join the dinner-party at the +squire's table, The squire did not eat any lunch, excusing himself on +the plea that lunch in itself was a had thing "He can eat lunch at his +own house," Mrs Dale afterwards said to Bell. "And I've often seen him +take a glass of sherry." While thinking of this. Mrs Dale made her own +dinner. If her brother-in-law would not eat at her board, neither would +she eat at his. + +And then in a few minutes Lily had on her hat, in place of that +decorous, church-going bonnet which Crosbie was wont to abuse with a +lover's privilege, feeling well assured that he might say what he liked +of the bonnet as long as he would praise the hat. "Only three days," +she said, as she walked down with him across the lawn at a quick pace. +But she said it in a voice which made no complaint-which seemed to say +simply this-that as the good time was to be so short, they must make +the most of it. And what compliment could be paid to a man so sweet as +that? What flattery could be more gratifying? All my earthly heaven is +with you; and now, for the delight of these immediately present months +or so, there are left to mc but three days of this heaven! Come, then I +will make the most of what happiness is given to me. Crosbie felt it +all as she felt it, and recognised the extent of the debt he owed her. +"I'll come down to them for a day at Christmas, though it be only for a +day," he said to himself. Then he reflected that as such was his +intention, it might be well for him to open his present conversation +with a promise to that effect. + +"Yes, Lily; there are only three days left now. But I wonder whether-I +suppose you'll all he at home at Christmas?" + +"At home at Christmas?-of course we shall be at home. You don't mean to +say you'll come to us!" + +"Well; I think I will, if you'll have me," + +"Oh! that will make such a difference. Let me see. That will only be +three months. And to have you here on Christmas Day! I would sooner +have you then than on any other day in the year." + +"It will only be for one day, Lily. I shall come to dinner on Christmas +Eve, and must go away the day after." + +"But you will come direct to our house!" + +"If you can spare me a room." + +"Of course we can. So we could now. Only when you came, you know-" + +"When I came, I was the squire's friend and your cousin's rather than +yours. But that's all changed now." + +"Yes; you're my friend now-mine specially. I'm to be now and always +your own special, dearest friend-eh, Adolphus?" And thus she exacted +from him the repetition of the promise which he had so often given her. + +By this time they had passed through the grounds of the Great House and +were in the fields. "Lily," said he, speaking rather suddenly, and +making her feel by his manner that something of importance was to be +said; "I want to say a few words to you about-business." And he gave a +little laugh as he spoke the last word, making her fully understand +that he was not quite at his ease. + +"Of course I'll listen. And, Adolphus, pray don't be afraid about me. +What I mean is, don't think that I can't bear cares and troubles. I can +bear anything as long as you love me. I say that because I'm afraid I +seemed to complain about your going. I didn't mean to." + +"I never thought you complained, dearest. Nothing can be better than +you are at all times and in every war. A man would be very hard to +please if you didn't please him." + +"If I can only please you-" + +"You do please me in everything. Dear Lily, I think I found an angel +when I found you. But now about this business Perhaps I'd better tell +you everything." + +"Oh, yes, tell me everything.'' + +"But then you mustn't misunderstand me. And if I talk about money, you +mustn't suppose that it has anything to do with my love for you." + +"I wish for your sake that I wasn't such a little pauper." + +"What I mean to say is this, that if I seem to be anxious about money, +you must not suppose that that anxiety hears any reference whatever to +my affection for you. I should love you just the same, and look forward +just as touch to my happiness in marrying you, whether you were rich or +poor. You understand that? + +She did not quite understand him; but she merely pressed his arm, so as +to encourage him to go on. She presumed that he intended to tell her +something as to their future mode of life-something which he supposed +it might not be pleasant for her to hear, and she was determined to +show him that she would receive it pleasantly. + +"You know" said he, "how anxious I have been that our marriage should +not be delayed. To me, of course, it must be everything now to call you +my own as soon as possible." In answer to which little declaration of +love, she merely pressed his arm again, the subject being one on which +she had not herself much to say. + +"Of course I must he very anxious, but I find it not so easy as I +expected." + +"You know what I said, Adolphus. I said that I thought we had better +wait. I'm sure mamma thinks so. And if we can only see you now and +then-" + +"That will he a matter of course. But, as I was saying-Let me see. +Yes-all that waiting will be intolerable to me. It is such a bore for a +man when he has made up his mind on such a matter as marriage, not to +make the change at once, especially when he is going to take to himself +such a little angel as you are," and as he spoke these loving words, +his arm was again put round her waist;" but-and then he stopped. He +wanted to make her understand that this change of intention on his part +was caused by the unexpected misconduct of her uncle. He desired that +she should know exactly how the matter stood; that he had been led to +suppose that her uncle would give her some small fortune, that he had +seen disappointed, and had a right to feel the disappointment keenly; +and that in consequence of this blow to his expectations, he must put +off his marriage. But he wished her also to understand at the same time +that this did not in the least mar his love for her; that he did not +join her at all in her uncle's fault. All this he was anxious to convey +to her, but he did not know how to get it said in a manner that would +not be offensive to her personally, and that should not appear to +accuse himself of sordid motives. He had begun by declaring that he +would tell her all; but sometimes it is not easy, that task of telling +a person everything, There are things which will not get themselves +told. + +"You mean, dearest," said she, "that you cannot afford to marry at +once." + +"Yes; that is it. I had expected that I should be able, but-" + +Did any man in love ever yet find himself able to tell the lady whom he +loved that he was very much disappointed on discovering that she had +got no money? If so, his courage, I should say, was greater than his +love. Crosbie found himself unable to do it, and thought himself +cruelly used because of the difficulty. The delay to which he intended +to subject her was occasioned, as he felt, by the squire, and not by +himself. I It was ready to do his part, if only the squire had been +willing to do the part which properly belonged to him. The squire would +not; and, therefore, neither could he-not as yet. Justice demanded that +all this should be understood but when he came to the telling of it, he +found that the story would not form itself properly. He must let the +thing go, and bear the injustice, consoling himself as best he might by +the reflection that he at least was behaving well in the matter. + +"It won't make me unhappy, Adolphus." + +"Will it not?" said he. "As regards myself, I own that I cannot bear +the delay with so much indifference." +"Nay, my love; but you should not misunderstand me," she said, stopping +and facing him on the path in which they were walking. "I suppose I +ought to protest, according to the common rules, that I would rather +wait. Young ladies are expected to say so. If you were pressing me to +marry at once, I should say so, no doubt. But now, as it is, I will be +more honest. I have only one wish in the world, and that is, to be your +wife-to be able to share everything with you. The sooner we can be +together the better it will be-at any rate, for me. There; will that +satisfy you?" + +"My own, own Lily!" + +"Yes, your own Lily, You shall have no cause to doubt me, dearest. But +I do not expect that I am to have everything exactly as I want it. I +say again, that I shall not be unhappy in waiting. How can I be unhappy +while I feel certain of your love? I was disappointed just now when you +said that you were going so soon; and I am afraid I showed it. But +those little things are more unendurable than the big things." + +"Yes; that's very true." + +"But there are three more days, and I mean to enjoy them so much! And +then you will write to me: and you will come at Christmas. And next +year, when you have your holiday, you will come down to us again; will +you not? + +"You may be quite sure of that." + +"And so the time will go by till it suits you to come and take me. I +shall not be unhappy." + +"I, at any rate, shall be impatient." + +"Ah, men always are impatient. It is one of their privileges, I +suppose. And I don't think that a man ever has the same positive and +complete satisfaction in knowing that he is loved, which a girl feels. +You are my bird that I have shot with my own gun; and the assurance of +my success is sufficient for my happiness." + +"You have bowled me over, and know that I can't get up again." + +"I don't know about can't. I would let you up quick enough, if you +wished it." + +How he made his loving assurance that he did not wish it, never would +or could wish it. the reader will readily understand. And then he +considered that he might as well leave all those money questions as +they now stood. His real object had been to convince her that their +joint circumstances did not admit of an immediate marriage; and as to +that she completely understood him. Perhaps, during the next three +days, some opportunity might arise for explaining the whole matter to +Mrs Dale. At any rate, he had declared his own purpose honestly, and no +one could complain of him. + +On the following day they all rode over to Guestwick together-the all +consisting of the two girls, with Bernard and Crosbie. Their object was +to pay two visits-one to their very noble and highly exalted ally, the +Lady Julia de Guest: and the other to their humbler and better known +friend, Mrs Eames. As Guestwick Manor lay on their road into the town, +they performed the grander ceremony the first. The present Earl de +Guest, brother of that Lady Fanny who ran away with Major Dale, was an +unmarried nobleman, who devoted himself chiefly to the breeding of +cattle. And as he bred very good cattle, taking infinite satisfaction +in the employment, devoting all his energies thereto, and abstaining +from all prominently evil courses, it should be acknowledged that he +was not a bad member of society. He was a thorough-going old Tory, +whose proxy was always in the hand of the leader of his party; and who +seldom himself went near the metropolis, unless called thither by some +occasion of cattle-showing. He was a short, stumpy man, with red cheeks +and a round face; who was usually to be seen till dinner-time dressed +in a very old shooting coat, with breeches, gaiters, and very thick +shoes. He lived generally out of doors, and was almost as great in the +preserving of game as in the breeding of oxen, lie knew every acre of +his own estate, and every tree upon it, as thoroughly as a lady knows +the ornaments in her drawing-room. There was no gap in a fence of which +he did not remember the exact bearings, no path hither or thither as to +which he could nit tell the why and the wherefore. He had been in his +earlier years a poor man as regarded his income-very poor, seeing that +he was an earl. But he was not at present by any means an impoverished +man, having been taught a lesson by the miseries of his father and +grandfather, and having learned to live within his means. Now, as he +was going down the vale of years, men said that he was becoming rich, +and that he had ready money to spend.-a position in which no Lord de +Guest had found himself for many generations back. His father and +grandfather had been known as spend-thrifts; and now men said that this +earl was a miser. + +There was not much of nobility in his appearance; but they greatly +mistook Lord de Guest who conceived that on that account his pride of +place was not dear to his soul. His peerage dated back to the time of +King John, and there were but three lords in England whose patents had +been conferred before his own. He knew what privileges were due to him +on behalf of his blood, and was not disposed to abate one jot of them. +He was not loud in demanding them. As he went through the world he sent +no trumpeters to the right or left, proclaiming that the Earl de Guest +was coming. When he spread his board for his friends, which he did but +on rare occasions, he entertained them simply with a mild, tedious, +old-fashioned courtesy. We may say that, if properly treated, the earl +never walked over anybody. But he could, if ill-treated, be grandly +indignant; and if attacked, could hold his own against all the world. +He knew himself to be every inch an earl, pottering about after his +oxen with his muddy gaiters and red cheeks, as much as though he were +glittering with stars in courtly royal ceremonies among his peers at +Westminster-ay, more an earl than any of those who use their nobility +for pageant purposes. Woe be to him who should mistake that old coat +for a badge of rural degradation! Now and again some unlucky wight did +make such a mistake, and had to do his penance very uncomfortably. + +With the earl lived a maiden sister, the Lady Julia. Bernard Dale's +father had, in early life, run away with one sister, but no suitor had +been fortunate enough to induce the Lady Julia to run with him, +Therefore she still lived, in maiden blessedness, as mistress of +Guestwick Manor; and as such had no mean opinion of the high position +which destiny had called upon her to fill. She was a tedious, dull, +virtuous old woman, who gave herself infinite credit for having +remained all her days in the home of her youth, probably forgetting, in +her present advanced years, that her temptations to leave it had not +been strong or numerous. She generally spoke of her sister Fanny with +some little contempt, as though that poor lady had degraded herself in +marrying a younger brother. She was as proud of her own position as was +the earl her brother, hut her pride was maintained with more of outward +show and less of inward nobility. It was hardly enough for her that the +world should know that she was a De Guest, and therefore she had +assumed little pompous ways and certain airs of condescension which did +not make her popular with her neighbours. + +The intercourse between Guestwick Manor and Allington was not very +frequent or very cordial. Soon after the running away of the Lady +Fanny, the two families had agreed to acknowledge their connection with +each other, and to let it be known by the world that they were on +friendly terms. Either that course was necessary to them, or the other +course, of letting it he known that they were enemies. Friendship was +the less troublesome, and therefore the two families called on each +other from time to time, and gave each other dinners about once a year. +The earl regarded the squire as a man who had deserted his politics, +and had thereby forfeited the respect due to him as an hereditary laud +magnate; and the squire was wont to belittle the earl as one who +understood nothing of the outer world. At Guestwick Manor Bernard was +to some extent a favourite. He was actually a relative, having in his +veins blood of the De Guests, and was not the less a favourite because +he was the heir to Allington, and because the blood of the Dales was +older even than that of the noble family to which he was allied. When +Bernard should come to be the squire, then indeed there might be +cordial relations between Guestwick Manor and Allington; unless, +indeed, the earl's heir and the squire's heir should have some fresh +cause of ill-will between themselves. + +They found Lady Julia sitting in her drawing-room alone, and introduced +to her Mr Crosbie in due firm. The fact of Lily's engagement was of +course known at the manor, and it was quite understood that her +intended husband was now brought over that he might be looked at and +approved. Lady Julia made a very elaborate curtsy, and expressed a hope +that her young friend might be made happy in that sphere of life to + +which it had pleased God to call her. + +"I hope I shall, Lady Julia," said Lily, with a little laugh; "at any +rate I mean to try" + +"We all try, my dear, but many of us fail to try with sufficient energy +of purpose. It is only by doing our duty that we can hope to be happy, +whether in single life or in married." + +"Miss Dale means to be a dragon of perfection in the performance of +hers," said Crosbie. + +"A dragon!" said Lady Julia. "No; I hope Miss Lily Dale will never +become a dragon." And then she turned to her nephew. It may be as well +to say at once that she never forgave Mr Crosbie the freedom of the +expression which he had used. He had been in the drawing-room of +Guestwick Manor for two minutes only, and it did not become him to talk +about dragons. "Bernard," she said," I heard from your mother +yesterday. I am afraid she does not seem to be very strong." And then +there was a little conversation, not very interesting in its nature, +between the aunt and the nephew as to the general health of Lady Fanny. + +"I didn't know my aunt was so unwell" said Bell. + +"She isn't ill," said Bernard. "She never is ill; but then she is never +well." + +"Your aunt," said Lady Julia, seeming to put a touch of sarcasm into +the tone of her voice as she repeated the word-" + +"A very long time," said Crosbie, who was not accustomed to be left in +his chair silent. "You, Dale, at any rate, can hardly remember it." + +"But I can remember it," said Lady Julia. gathering herself up. "I can +remember when my sister Fanny was recognised as the beauty of the +country. It is a dangerous gift, that of beauty." + +"Very dangerous," said Crosbie. Then Lily laughed again, and Lady Julia +became more angry than ever. What odious man was this whom her +neighbours were going to take into their very bosom! But she had heard +of Mr Crosbie before, and Mr Crosbie also had heard of her. + +"By-the-by, Lady Julia," said he, "I think I know some very dear +friends of yours." + +"Very dear friends is a very strong word. I have not many very dear +friends." + +"I mean the Gazebees. I have heard Mortimer Gazebee and Lady Amelia +speak of you." + +Whereupon Lady Julia confessed that she did know the Gazebees. Mr +Gazebee, she said, was a man who in early life had wanted many +advantages, but still he was a very estimable person. He was now in +Parliament, and she understood that he was making himself useful. She +had not quite approved of Lady Amelia's marriage at the time, and so +she had told her very old friend Lady de Courcy; but"-And then Lady +Julia said many words in praise of Mr Gazebee, which seemed to amount +to this; that he was an excellent sort of man, with a full conviction +of the too great honour done to him by the earl's daughter who had +married him, and a complete consciousness that even that marriage had +not put him on a par with his wife's relations, or even with his wife. +And then it came out that Lady Julia in the course of the next week was +going to meet the Gazebees at Courcy Castle. + +"I am delighted to think that I shall have the pleasure of seeing you +there," said Crosbie. + +"Indeed!" said Lady Julia. + +"I am going to Courcy on Wednesday. That, I fear, will be too early to +allow of my being of any service to your ladyship." + +Lady Julia drew herself up, and declined the escort which Mr Crosbie +had seemed to offer. It grieved her to find that Lily Dale's future +husband was an intimate friend of her friend's and it especially +grieved her to find that he was now going to that friends house. It was +a grief to her, and she showed that it was. It also grieved Crosbie to +find that Lady Julia was to be a fellow guest with himself at Courcy +Castle; but he did not show it. He expressed nothing but smiles and +civil self-congratulation on the matter, pretending that he would have +much delight in again meeting Lady Julia; but, in truth, he would have +given much could he have invented any manoeuvre by which her ladyship +might have been kept at home. + +"What a horrid old woman she is," said Lily, as they rode back down the +avenue. "I beg your pardon, Bernard; for, of course, she is your aunt." + +"Yes; she is my aunt; and though I am not very fond of her, I deny that +she is a horrid old woman. She never murdered anybody, or robbed +anybody, or stole away any other woman's lover." + +"I should think not," said Lily. + +"She says her prayers earnestly, I have no doubt," continued Bernard, +"and gives away money to the poor, and would sacrifice tomorrow any +desire of her own to her brother's wish. I acknowledge that she is +ugly, and pompous, and that, being a woman, she ought not to have such +a long black beard on her upper lip." + +"I don't care a bit about her beard," said Lily. But why did she tell +me to do my duty? I didn't go there to have a sermon preached to me." + +"And why did she talk about beauty being dangerous? said Bell." Of +course, we all knew what she meant." + +"I didn't know at all what she meant," said Lily," and I don't know +now." + +"I think she's a charming woman, and I shall be especially civil to her +at Lady de Courcy's," said Crosbie. + +And in this way, saying hard things of the poor old spinster whom they +had left, they made their way into Guestwick, and again dismounted at +Mrs Eames's door. + +CHAPTER XII + +A VISIT TO GUESTWICK + + +As the party from Allington rode up the narrow High Street of +Guestwick, and across the market square towards the small, respectable, +but very dull row of new houses in which Mrs Eames lived, the people of +Guestwick were all aware that Miss Lily Dale was escorted by her future +husband. The opinion that she had been a very fortunate girl was +certainly general among the Guestwickians, though it was not always +expressed in open or generous terms. "It was a great match for her," +some said, but shook their heads at the same time, hinting that Mr +Crosbie's life in London was not all that it should be, and suggesting +that she might have been more safe had she been content to bestow +herself upon some country neighbour of less dangerous pretensions. +Others declared that it was no such great match after all. They knew +his income to a penny, and believed that the young people would find it +very difficult to keep a house in London unless the old squire intended +to assist them. But, nevertheless, Lily was envied as she rode through +the town with her handsome lover by her side. + +And she was very happy. I will not deny that she had some feeling of +triumphant satisfaction in the knowledge that she was envied. Such a +feeling on her part was natural, and is natural to all men and women +who are conscious that they have done well in the adjustment of their +own affairs. As she herself had said, he was her bird, the spoil of her +own gun, the product of such capacity as she had in her, on which she +was to live, and, if possible, to thrive during the remainder of her +life. Lily fully recognised the importance of the thing she was doing, +and, in soberest guise, had thought much of this matter of marriage. +But the more she thought of it the more satisfied she was that she was +doing well. And yet she knew that there was a risk. He who was now +everything to her might die; nay, it was possible that he might be +other than she thought him to be; that he might neglect her, desert +her, or misuse her. But she had resolved to trust in everything, and, +having so trusted, she would not provide for herself any possibility of +retreat. Her ship should go out into the middle ocean, beyond all ken +of the secure port from which it had sailed; her army should fight its +battle with no hope of other safety than that which victory gives. All +the world might know that she loved him if all the world chose to +inquire about the matter. She triumphed in her lover, and did not deny +even to herself that she was triumphant. + +Mrs Eames was delighted to see them. It was so good in Mr Crosbie to +come over and call upon such a poor, forlorn woman as her, and so good +in Captain Dale; so good also in the dear girls, who, at the present +moment, had so much to make them happy at home at Allington! Little +things, accounted as bare civilities by others, were esteemed as great +favours by Mrs Eames. + +"And dear Mrs Dale? I hope she was not fatigued when we kept her up the +other night so unconscionably late?" Bell and Lily both assured her +that their mother was none the worse for what she had gone through; and +then Mrs Eames got up and left the room, with the declared purpose of +looking for John and Mary, but bent, in truth, on the production of +some cake and sweet wine which she kept under lock and key in the +little parlour. + +"Don't let's stay here very long," whispered Crosbie. + +"No, not very long," said Lily. "But when you come to see my friends +you mustn't be in a hurry, Mr Crosbie." + +"He had his turn with Lady Julia," said Bell " and we must have ours +now." + +"At any rate, Mrs Eames won't tell us to do our duty and to beware of +being too beautiful," said Lily. + +Mary and John came into the room before their mother returned; then +came Mrs Eames, and a few minutes afterwards the cake and wine arrived. +It certainly was rather dull, as none of the party seemed to be at +their ease. The grandeur of Mr Crosbie was too great for Mrs Eames and +her daughter, and John was almost silenced by the misery of his +position. He had not yet answered Miss Roper's letter, nor had he even +made up his mind whether he would answer it or no. And then the sight +of Lily's happiness did not fill him with all that friendly joy which +he should perhaps have felt as the friend of her childhood. To tell the +truth, he hated Crosbie, and so he had told himself; and had so told +his sister also very frequently since the day of the party. + +"I tell you what it is, Molly," he had said, "if there was any way of +doing it, I'd fight that man." + +"What; and make Lily wretched?" + +"She'll never be happy with him. I'm sure she won't. I don't want to do +her any harm, but yet I'd like to fight that man-if I only knew how to +manage it." + +And then he bethought himself that if they could both be slaughtered in +such an encounter it would be the only fitting termination to the +present state of things. In that way, too, there would be an escape +from Amelia, and, at the present moment, he saw none other. + +When he entered the room he shook hands with all the party from +Allington, but, as he told his sister afterwards, his flesh crept when +he touched Crosbie. Crosbie, as he contemplated the Eames family +sitting stiff and ill at ease in their own drawing-room chairs, made up +his mind that it would be well that his wife should see as little of +John Eames as might be when she came to London-not that he was in any +way jealous of her lover. He had learned everything from Lily-all, at +least, that Lily knew-and regarded the matter rather as a good joke. + +"Don't see him too often," he had said to her, "for fear he should make +an ass of himself." Lily had told him everything-all that she could +tell; but yet he did not in the least comprehend that Lily had, in +truth, a warm affection for the young man whom he despised. + +"Thank you, no," said Crosbie." I never do take wine in the middle of +the day." + +"But a bit of cake?" And Mrs Eames by her look implored him to do her +so much honour. She implored Captain Dale, also, but they were both +inexorable. I do not know that the two girls were at all more inclined +to eat and drink than the two men; but they understood that Mrs Eames +would be brokenhearted if no one partook of her delicacies. The little +sacrifices of society are all made by women, as are also the great +sacrifices of life. A man who is good for anything is always ready for +his duty, and so is a good woman always ready for a sacrifice. + +"We really must go now," said Bell, "because of the horses." And under +this excuse they got away. + +"You will come over before you go back to London, John?" said Lily, as +he came out with the intention of helping her mount, from which +purpose, however, he was forced to recede by the iron will of Mr +Crosbie. + +"Yes, I'll come over again-before I go. Good-bye." + +"Good-bye, John," said Bell. "Good-bye, Eames," said Captain Dale. +Crosbie, as he seated himself in the saddle, made the very slightest +sign of recognition, to which his rival would not condescend to pay any +attention. "I'll manage to have a fight with him in some way," said +Eames to himself as he walked back through the passage of his mother's +house. And Crosbie, as he settled his feet in the stirrups, felt that +he disliked the young man more and more. It would be monstrous to +suppose that there could be aught of jealousy in the feeling; and yet +he did dislike him very strongly, and felt almost angry with Lily for +asking him to come again to Allington. "I must put an end to all that," +he said to himself as he rode silently out of town. + +"You must not snub my friends, sir," said Lily, smiling as she spoke, +but yet with something of earnestness in her voice. They were out of +the town by this time, and Crosbie had hardly uttered a word since they +had left Mrs Eames's door. They were now on the high road, and Bell and +Bernard Dale were somewhat in advance of them. + +"I never snub anybody," said Crosbie, petulantly; "that is unless they +have absolutely deserved snubbing." + +"And have I deserved it? Because I seem to have got it," said Lily. + +"Nonsense, Lily. I never snubbed you yet, and I don't think it likely +that I shall begin. But you ought not to accuse me of not being civil +to your friends. In the first place I am as civil to them as my nature +will allow me to be. And, in the second place-" + +"Well; in the second place-? + +"I am not quite sure that you are very wise to encourage that young +man's-friendship just at present." + +"That means, I suppose, that I am very wrong to do so?" + +"No, dearest, it does not mean that. If I meant so I would tell you so +honestly. I mean just what I say. There can, I suppose, be no doubt +that he has filled himself with some kind of romantic attachment for +you-a foolish kind of love which I don't suppose he ever expected to +gratify, but the idea of which lends a sort of grace to his life. When +he meets some young woman fit to be his wife he will forget all about +it, but till then he will go about fancying himself a despairing lover. +And then such a young man as John Eames is very apt to talk of his +fancies." + +"I don't believe for a moment that he would mention my name to any one." + +"But, Lily, perhaps I may know more of young men than you do." + +"Yes, of course you do." + + +"And I can assure you that they are generally too well inclined to make +free with the names of girls whom they think that they like. You must +not be surprised if I am unwilling that any man should make free with +your name." + +After this Lily was silent for a minute or two. She felt that an +injustice was being done to her and she was not inclined to put up with +it, but she could not quite see where the injustice lay. A great deal +was owing from her to Crosbie. In very much she was bound to yield to +him, and she was anxious to do on his behalf even more than her duty. +But yet she had a strong conviction that it would not be well that she +should give way to him in everything. She wished to think as he thought +as far as possible, but she could not say that she agreed with him when +she knew that she differed from him. John Eames was an old friend whom +she could not abandon, and so much at the present time she felt herself +obliged to say. + +"But, Adolphus-" + +"Well, dearest? + +"You would not wish me to be unkind to so very old a friend as John +Eames? I have known him all my life, and we have all of us had a very +great regard for the whole family. His father was my uncle's most +particular friend." + +"I think, Lily, you must understand what I mean. I don't want you to +quarrel with any of them, or to be what you call unkind. But you need +not give special and pressing invitations to this young man to come and +see you before he goes back to London, and then to come and see you +directly you get to London. You tell me that he had some kind of +romantic idea of being in love with you-of being in despair because you +are not in love with him. It's all great nonsense, no doubt, but it +seems to me that under such circumstances you'd better-just leave him +alone." + +Again Lily was silent. These were her three last days, in which it was +her intention to be especially happy, but above all things to make him +especially happy. On no account would she say to him sharp words, or +encourage in her own heart a feeling of animosity against him, and yet +she believed him to be wrong; and so believing could hardly bring +herself to bear the injury. Such was her nature, as a Dale. And let it +be remembered that very many who can devote themselves for great +sacrifices, cannot bring themselves to the endurance of little +injuries. Lily could have given up any gratification for her lover, but +she could not allow herself to have been in the wrong, believing +herself to have been in the right. + +"I have asked him now, and he must come," she said, "But do not press +him to come any more." + +"Certainly not, after what you have said, Adolphus. If he comes over to +Allington, he will see me in mamma's house, to which he has always been +made welcome by her. Of course I understand perfectly-" + +"You understand what, Lily?" + +But she had stopped herself, fearing that she might say that which +would be offensive to him if she continued. + +"What is it you understand, Lily?" +"Do not press me to go on, Adolphus. As far as I can, I will do all +that you want me to do." + +"You meant to say that when you find yourself an inmate of my house, as +a matter of course you could not ask your own friends to come and see +you. Was that gracious?" + +"Whatever I may have meant to say, I did not say that. Nor in truth did +I mean it. Pray don't go on about it now. These are to be our last +days, you know, and we shouldn't waste them by talking of things that +are unpleasant. After all poor Johnny Eames is nothing to me; nothing, +nothing. How can any one be anything to me when I think of you?" + +But even this did not bring Crosbie back at once into a pleasant +humour. Had Lily yielded to him and confessed that he was right, he +would have made himself at once as pleasant as the sun in May. But this +she had not done. She had simply abstained from her argument because +she did not choose to be vexed, and had declared her continued purpose +of seeing Eames on his promised visit. Crosbie would have had her +acknowledge herself wrong, and would have delighted in the privilege of +forgiving her. But Lily Dale was one who did not greatly relish +forgiveness, or any necessity of being forgiven. So they rode on, if +not in silence, without much joy in their conversation. It was now late +on the Monday afternoon, and Crosbie was to go early on the Wednesday +morning. What if these three last days should come to be marred with +such terrible drawbacks as these! + +Bernard Dale had not spoken a word to his cousin of his suit, since +they had been interrupted by Crosbie and Lily as they were lying on the +bank by the ha-ha. He had danced with her again and again at Mrs Dale's +party, and had seemed to revert to his old modes of conversation +without difficulty. Bell, therefore, had believed the matter to be +over, and was thankful to her cousin, declaring within her own bosom +that the whole matter should be treated by her as though it had never +happened. To no one-not even to her mother, would she tell it. To such +reticence she bound herself for his sake, feeling that he would be best +pleased that it should be so. But now as they rode on together, far in +advance of the other couple, he again returned to the subject. + +"Bell," said he," am I to have any hope? + +"Any hope as to what, Bernard? + +"I hardly know whether a man is bound to take a single answer on such a +subject. But this I know, that if a man's heart is concerned, he is not +very willing to do so." + +"When that answer has been given honestly and truly-" + +"Oh, no doubt. I don't at all suppose that you were dishonest or false +when you refused to allow me to speak to you." + +"But, Bernard, I did not refuse to allow you to speak to me." + +"Something very like it. But, however, I have no doubt you were true +enough. But, Bell, why should it be so? If you were in love with any +one else I could understand it." + +"I am not in love with any one else." + +"Exactly. And there are so many reasons why you. and I should join our +fortunes together." +"It cannot be a question of fortune, Bernard." + +"Do listen to me. Do let me speak, at any rate. I presume I may at +least suppose that you do not dislike me." + +"Oh, no." + +"And though you might not be willing to accept any man's hand merely on +a question of fortune, surely the fact that our marriage would be in +every way suitable as regards money should not set you against it. Of +my own love for you I will not speak further, as I do not doubt that +you believe what I say; but should you not question your own feelings +very closely before you determine to oppose the wishes of all those who +are nearest to you?" + +"Do you mean mamma, Bernard?" + +"Not her especially, though I cannot but think she would like a +marriage that would keep all the family together, and would give you an +equal claim to the property to that which I have." + +"That would not have a feather's-weight with mamma." + +"Have you asked her?" + +"No, I have mentioned the matter to no one." + +"Then you cannot know. And as to my uncle, I have the means of knowing +that it is the great desire of his life. I must say that I think some +consideration for him should induce you to pause before you give a +final answer, even though no consideration for me should have any +weight with you." + +"I would do more for you than for him-much more." + +"Then do this for me, Allow me to think that I have not yet had an +answer to my proposal; give me to this day month, to Christmas; till +any time that you like to name, so that I may think that it is not yet +settled, and may tell Uncle Christopher that such is the case." + +"Bernard, it would he useless." + +"It would at any rate show him that you are willing to think of it." + +"But I am not willing to think of it-not in that way. I do know my own +mind thoroughly, and I should be very wrong if I were to deceive you." + +"And you wish me to give that as your only answer to my uncle?" + +"To tell the truth, Bernard, I do not much care what you may say to my +uncle in this matter. He can have no right to interfere in the disposal +of my hand, and therefore I need not regard his wishes on the subject. +I will explain to you in one word what my feelings are about it. I +would accept no man in opposition to mamma's wishes; but not even for +her could I accept any man in opposition to my own. But as concerns my +uncle, I do not feel myself called on to consult him in any way on such +a matter." +"And yet he is the head of our family." + +"I don't care anything about the family.-not in that way." + +"And he has been very generous to you all." + +"That I deny. He has not been generous to mamma. He is very hard and +ungenerous to mamma. He lets her have that house because he is anxious +that the Dales should seem to be respectable before the world; and she +lives in it, because she thinks it better for us that she should do so. +If I had my way, she should leave it tomorrow-or, at any rate, as soon +as Lily is married. I would much sooner go into Guestwick, and live as +the Eames do." + +"I think you are ungrateful, Bell." + +"No; I am not ungrateful. And as to consulting; Bernard-I should be +much more inclined to consult you than him about my marriage. If you +would let me look on you altogether as a brother, I should think little +of promising to marry no one whom you did not approve." + +But such an agreement between them would by no means have suited +Bernard's views. He had thought, some four or five weeks back, that he +was not personally very anxious for this match. He had declared to +himself that he liked his cousin well enough; that it would be a good +thing for him to settle himself; that his uncle was reasonable in his +wishes and sufficiently liberal in his offers; and that, therefore, he +would marry. it had hardly occurred to him as probable that his cousin +would reject so eligible an offer, and had certainly never occurred to +him that he would have to suffer anything from such rejection. He had +entertained none of that feeling of which lovers speak when they +declare that they are staking their all upon the hazard of a die, It +had not seemed to him that he was staking anything, as he gently told +his tale of languid love, lying on the turf by the ha-ha. He had not +regarded the possibility of disappointment, of sorrow, and of a +deeply-vexed mind. He would have felt but little triumph if accepted, +and had not thought that he could be humiliated by any rejection. In +this frame of mind he had gone to his work; but now he found, to his +own surprise, that this girl's answer had made him absolutely unhappy. +Having expressed a wish for this thing, the very expression of the wish +made him long to possess it. He found, as he rode along silently by her +side, that he was capable of more earnestness of desire than he had +known himself to possess. He was at this moment unhappy, disappointed, +anxious, distrustful of the future, and more intent on one special toy +than he had ever been before, even as a boy. He was vexed, and felt +himself to be sore at heart. He looked round at her, as she sat silent, +quiet, and somewhat sad upon her pony, and declared to himself that she +was very beautiful-that she was a thing to be gained if still there +might he the possibility of gaining her. He felt that he really loved +her, and yet he was almost angry with himself for so feeling. Why had +he subjected himself to this numbing weakness? His love had never given +him any pleasure. Indeed he had never hitherto acknowledged it; but now +he was driven to do so on finding it to be the source of trouble and +pain. I think it is open to us to doubt whether, even yet, Bernard Dale +was in love with his cousin; whether he was not rather in love with his +own desire. But against himself he found a verdict that he was in love, +and was angry with himself and with all the world. + +"Ah, Bell," he said, coming close up to her, "I wish you could +understand how I love you." And, as he spoke, his cousin unconsciously +recognised more of affection in his tone, and less of that spirit of +bargaining which had seemed to pervade all his former pleas, than she +had ever found before. +"And do I not love you? Have I not offered to be to you in all respects +as a sister?" + +"That is nothing. Such an offer to me now is simply laughing at me. +Bell, I tell you what-I will not give you up. The fact is, you do not +know me yet-not know me as you must know any man before you choose him +for your husband. You and Lily are not alike in this. You are cautious, +doubtful of yourself, and perhaps, also, somewhat doubtful of others. +My heart is set upon this, and I shall still try to succeed." + +"Ah, Bernard, do not say that! Believe me, when I tell you that it can +never be." + +"No; I will not believe you. I will not allow myself to be made utterly +wretched. I tell you fairly that I will not believe you. I may surely +hope if I choose to hope. No, Bell, I will never give you up-unless, +indeed, I should see you become another man's wife." + +As he said this, they all turned in through the squire's gate, and rode +up to the yard in which it was their habit to dismount from their +horses. + +CHAPTER XIV + +JOHN EAMES TAKES A WALK + + +John Eames watched the party of cavaliers as they rode away from his +mother's door, and then started upon a solitary walk, as soon as the +noise of the horses' hoofs had passed away out of the street. He was by +no means happy in his mind as he did so. Indeed, he was overwhelmed +with care and trouble, and as he went along very gloomy thoughts passed +through his mind. Had he not better go to Australia, or Vancouver's +Island, or-? I will not name the places which the poor fellow suggested +to himself as possible terminations of the long journeys which he might +not improbably be called upon to take. That very day, just before the +Dales had come in, he had received a second letter from his darling +Amelia, written very closely upon the heels of the first. Why had he +not answered her? Was he ill? Was he untrue? No; she would not believe +that, and therefore fell back upon the probability of his illness. II +it was so, she would rush down to see him. Nothing on earth should keep +her from the bedside of her betrothed. If she did net get an answer +from her beloved John by return of post, she would be down with him at +Guestwick by the express train. Here was a position for such a young +man as John Eames! And of Amelia Roper we may say that she was a young +woman who would not give up hem game, as long as the least chance +remained of her winning it. "I must go somewhere," John said to +himself, as he put on his slouched hat and wandered forth through the +back streets of Guestwick. What would his mother say when she heard of +Amelia Roper? What would she say when she saw her? + +He walked away towards the Manor, so that he might roam about the +Guestwick woods in solitude. There was a path with a stile, leading off +from the high road, about half a mile beyond the lodges through which +the Dales had ridden up to the house, and by this path John Eames +turned in, and went away till he had left the Manor house behind him, +and was in the centre of the Guestwick woods. He knew the whole ground +well, having roamed there ever since he was first allowed to go forth +upon his walks alone. He had thought of Lily Dale by the hour together, +as he had lost himself among the oak-trees; but in those former days he +had thought of her with some pleasure. Now he could only think of hem +as of one gone from him for ever; and then he had also to think of her +whom he had taken to himself in Lily's place. + +Young men, very young men-men so young that it may be almost a question +whether or no they have as yet reached their manhood-are more inclined +to be earnest and thoughtful when alone than they ever are when with +others, even though those others be their elders. I fancy that, as we +grow old ourselves, we are apt to forget that it was so with us; and, +forgetting it, we do not believe that it is so with our children. We +constantly talk of the thoughtlessness of youth. I do not know whether +we might not more appropriately speak of its thoughtfulness. It is, +however, no doubt, true that thought will not at once produce wisdom. +It may almost be a question whether such wisdom as many of us have in +our mature years has not come from the dying out of the power of +temptation, rather than as the results of thought and resolution. Men, +full fledged and at their work, are, for the most part, too busy for +much thought; but lads, on whom the work of the world has not yet +fallen with all its pressure-they have time for thinking. + +And thus John Eames was thoughtful. They who knew him best accounted +him to be a gay, good-hearted, somewhat reckless young man, open to +temptation, but also open to good impressions; as to whom no great +success could be predicated, but of whom his friends might fairly hope +that he might so live as to bring upon them no disgrace and not much +trouble. But, above all things, they would have called him thoughtless. +In so calling him, they judged him wrong. He was ever thinking-thinking +much of the world as it appeared to him, and of himself as he appeared +to the world; and thinking, also, of things beyond the world. What was +to be his fate here and hereafter? Lily Dale was gone from him, and +Amelia Roper was hanging round his neck like a millstone! What, under +such circumstances, was to be his fate here and hereafter? + +We may say that the difficulties in his way were not as yet very great. +As to Lily, indeed, he had no room for hope; but, then, his love for +Lily had, perhaps, been a sentiment rather than a passion. Most young +men have to go through that disappointment, and are enabled to bear it +without much injury to their prospects or happiness. And in after-life +the remembrance of such love is a blessing rather than a curse, +enabling the possessor of it to feel that in those early days there was +something within him of which he had no cause to be ashamed. I do not +pity John Eames much in regard to Lily Dale. And then, as to Amelia +Roper-had he achieved but a tithe of that lady's experience in the +world, or possessed a quarter of her audacity, surely such a difficulty +as that need not have stood much in his way! What could Amelia do to +him if he fairly told her that he was not minded to marry her? In very +truth he had never promised to do so. He was in no way bound to her, +not even by honour. Honour, indeed, with such as her! But men are +cowards before women until they become tyrants; and are easy dupes, +till of a sudden they recognise the fact that it is pleasanter to be +the victimiser than the victim-and as easy. There are men, indeed, who +never learn the latter lesson. + +But, though the cause for fear was so slight, poor John Eames was +thoroughly afraid. Little things which, in connection with so deep a +sorrow as his, it is almost ridiculous to mention, added to his +embarrassments, and made an escape from them seem to him to be +impossible. He could not return to London without going to Burton +Crescent, because his clothes were there, and because he owed to Mrs +Roper some small sum of money which on his return to London he would +not have immediately in his pocket. He must therefore meet Amelia, and +he knew that he had not the courage to tell a girl, face to face, that +he did not love her, after he had once been induced to say that he did +do so. His boldest conception did not go beyond the writing of a letter +in which he would renounce her, and removing himself altogether from +that quarter of the town in which Burton Crescent was situated. But +then about his clothes, and that debt of his? And what if Amelia should +in the meantime come down to Guestwick and claim him? Could he in his +mother's presence declare that she had no right to make such claim? The +difficulties, in truth, were not very great, but they were too heavy +for that poor young clerk from the Income-tax Office. + +You will declare that he must have been a fool and a coward. Yet he +could read and understand Shakespeare. He knew much-by far too much-of +Byron's poetry by heart. He was a deep critic, often writing down his +criticisms in a lengthy journal which he kept. He could write quickly, +and with understanding; and I may declare that men at his office had +already ascertained that he was no fool. He knew his business, and +could do it-as many men failed to do who were much less foolish before +the world. And as to that matter of cowardice, he would have thought it +the greatest blessing in the world to be shut up in a room with +Crosbie, having permission to fight with him till one of them should +have been brought by stress of battle to give up his claim to Lily +Dale. Eames was no coward. He feared no man on earth. But he was +terribly afraid of Amelia Roper. + +He wandered about through the old Manor woods very ill at ease. The +post from Guestwick went out at seven, and he must at once make up his +mind whether or no he would write to Amelia on that day. He must also +make up his mind as to what he would say to her. He felt that he should +at least answer her letter, let his answer he what it might, Should he +promise to marry her-say, in ten or twelve years' time? Should he tell +her that he was a blighted being, unfit for love, and with humility +entreat of her that he might be excused? Or should he write to her +mother, telling her that Burton Crescent would not suit him any longer, +promising her to send the balance on receipt of his next payment, and +asking her to send his clothes in a bundle to the Income-tax Office? Or +should he go home to his own mother, and boldly tell it all to her? + +He at last resolved that he must write the letter, and as he composed +it in his mind he sat himself down beneath an old tree which stood on a +spot at which many of the forest tracks met and crossed each other. The +letter, as he framed it here, was not a bad letter, if only he could +have got it written and posted. Every word of it he chose with +precision, and in his mind lie emphasised every expression which told +his mind clearly and justified his purpose." He acknowledged himself to +have been wrong in misleading his correspondent, and allowing her to +imagine that she possessed his heart. He had not a heart at her +disposal. He had been weak not to write to her before, having been +deterred from doing so by the fear of giving her pain; but now he felt +that lie was bound in honour to tell her the truth. Having so told her, +he would not return to Burton Crescent, if it would pain her to see him +there. He would always have a deep regard for her,"-Oh, Johnny!- + +"and would hope anxiously that her welfare in life might be complete." +That was the letter, as he wrote it on the tablets of his mind under +the tree; but the getting it put on to paper was a task, as he knew, of +greater difficulty. Then, as he repeated it to himself, he fell asleep. + +"Young man," said a voice in his ear as he slept. At first the voice +spoke as a voice from his dream without waking him, but when it was +repeated, he sat up and saw that a stout gentleman was standing over +him. For a moment he did not know where he was, or how he had come +there; nor could he recollect, as he saw the trees about him, hew long +he had been in the wood. But he knew the stout gentleman well enough, +though he had not seen him for more than two years." Young man," said +the voice, "if you want to catch rheumatism, that's the way to do it. +Why, it's young Eames, isn't it? + +"Yes, my lord," said Johnny, raising himself up so that he was new +sitting, instead of lying, as he looked up into the earl's rosy face. + +"I knew your father, and a very good man he was; only he shouldn't have +taken to farming. People think they can farm without learning the +trade, but that's a very great mistake. I can farm, because I've +learned it. Don't you think you'd better get up?" Whereupon Johnny +raised himself to Ins feet." Not but what you're very welcome to lie +there if you like it. Only, in October, you know-" + +"I'm afraid I'm trespassing, my lord," said Eames." I came in off the +path, and-" + +"You're welcome; you're very welcome. If you'll come up to the house, +I'll give you some luncheon." This hospitable offer, however, Johnny +declined, alleging that it was late, and that he was going home to +dinner. + +"Come along," said the earl. "You can't go any shorter way than by the +house. Dear, dear, how well I remember your father. He was a much +cleverer man than I am-very much; but he didn't knew how to send a +beast to market any better than a child. By-the-by, they have put you +into a public office, haven't they? + +"Yes, my lord." + +"And a very good thing, too-a very good thing, indeed. But why were you +asleep in the wood? It isn't warm, you know. I call it rather cold." +And the earl stopped, and looked at him, scrutinising him, as though +resolved to inquire into so deep a mystery. + +"I was taking a walk, and thinking of something, I sat down." + +"Leave of absence, I suppose?" + +"Yes, my lord." + +"Have you got into trouble? You look as though you were in trouble. +Your poor father used to be in trouble." + +"I haven't taken to farming," said Johnny, with an attempt at a smile. + +"Ha, ha, ha-quite right. No, don't take to farming. Unless you learn +it, you know, you might just as well take to shoemaking-just the same. +You haven't got into trouble, then; eh? + +"No, my lord, not particularly." + +"Not particularly! I knew very well that young men do get into trouble +when they get up to London. If you want any-any advice, or that sort of +thing, you may come to me; for I knew your father well. Do you like +shooting? + +"I never did sheet anything." + +"Well perhaps better not. To tell the truth, I'm not very fond of young +men who take to shooting without having anything to sheet at. +By-the-by, new I think of it, I'll send your mother some game." It may, +however, here be fair to mention that game very often came from +Guestwick Manor to Mrs Eames. "And look here, cold pheasant for +breakfast is the best thing I know of. Pheasants at dinner are +rubbish-mere rubbish. Here we are at the house. Will you come in and +have a glass of wine? + +But this John Eames declined, pleasing the earl better by doing so than +he would have done by accepting it. Not that the lord was inhospitable +or insincere in his offer, but he preferred that such a one as John +Eames should receive his proffered familiarity without too much +immediate assurance. He felt that Eames was a little in awe of his +companion's rank, and he like I him the better for it. He liked him the +better for it, and was a man apt to remember his likings. "If you won't +come in, Good-bye," and he gave Johnny his hand. + +"Good-evening, my lord," said Johnny. + +"And remember this; it is the deuce of a thing to have rheumatism in +your loins. I wouldn't go to sleep under a tree, if I were you-not in +October. But you're always welcome to go anywhere about the place." + +"Thank you, my lord." + +"And if you should take to shooting-but I dare say you won't; and if +you come to trouble, and want advice, or that sort of thing, write to +me. I knew your father well." And so they parted, Eames returning on +his read towards Guestwick. + +For some reason, which he could not define, he felt better after his +interview with the earl. There had been something about the fat, +good-natured, sensible old man, which had cheered him, in spite of his +sorrow. "Pheasants for dinner are rubbish-mere rubbish," he said to +himself, over and over again, as he went along the read; and they were +the first words which he spoke to his mother, after entering the house. + +"I wish we had some of that sort of rubbish," said she. + +"So you will, tomorrow"; and then he described to her his interview. + +"The earl was, at any rate, quite right about lying upon the ground. I +wonder you can be so foolish. And he is right about your poor father +too. But you have got to change your boots; and we shall be ready for +dinner almost immediately." + +But Johnny Eames, before he sat down to dinner, did write his letter to +Amelia, and did go out to post it with his own hands-much to his +mother's annoyance. But the letter would not get itself written in that +strong and appropriate language which had come to him as he was roaming +through the woods. It was a bald letter, and somewhat cowardly withal. + +DEAR AMELIA (the letter ran)-I have received both of yours; and did not +answer the first because I felt that there was a difficulty in +expressing what I wish to say; and now it will be better that you +should allow the subject to stand over till I am back in town. I shall +be there in ten days from this. I have been quite well, and am so; but +of course am much obliged by your inquiries. I know you will think this +very cold; but when I tell you everything, you will agree with me that +it is best. If I were to marry, I know that we should be unhappy, +because we should have nothing to live on. If I have ever said anything +to deceive you, I beg your pardon with all my heart-but perhaps it will +be better to let the subject remain till we shall meet again in London. + +Believe me to be + +Your most sincere friend, + +And I may say admirer-[Oh, John Eames!] + +JOHN EAMES. + +CHAPTER XV + +THE LAST DAY + + +Last days are wretched days; and so are last moments wretched moments. +It is not the fact that the parting is coming which makes these days +and moments so wretched, but the feeling that something special is +expected from them, which something they always fail to produce. +Spasmodic periods of pleasure, of affection, or even of study, seldom +fail of disappointment when premeditated. When last days are coming, +they should be allowed to come and to glide away without special notice +or mention. And as for last moments, there should he none such. Let +them ever be ended, even before their presence has been acknowledged. + +But Lily Dale had not yet been taught these lessons by her world's +experience, and she expected that this sweetest cup of which she had +ever drank should go on being sweet-sweeter and still sweeter-as long +as she could press it to her lips. How the dregs had come to mix +themselves with the last drops we have already seen; and on that same +day-on the Monday evening-the bitter task still remained; for Crosbie, +as they walked about through the gardens in the evening, found other +subjects on which he thought it necessary to give her sundry hints, +intended for her edification, which came to her with much of the savour +of a lecture. A girl, when she is thoroughly in love, as surely was the +case with Lily, likes to receive hints as to her future life from the +man to whom she is devoted; but she would, I think, prefer that such +hints should be short, and that the lesson should be implied rather +than declared-that they should, in fact, be hints and not lectures. +Crosbie, who was a man of tact, who understood the world and had been +dealing with women for many years, no doubt understood all this as well +as we do. But he had come to entertain a notion that he was an injured +man, that he was giving very much more than was to be given to him, and +that therefore he was entitled to take liberties which might not fairly +be within the reach of another lover. My reader will say that in all +this he was ungenerous. Well; he was ungenerous. I do not know that I +have ever said that much generosity was to be expected from him. He had +some principles of right and wrong under the guidance of which it may +perhaps be hoped that he will not go utterly astray; but his past life +had not been of a nature to make him unselfish. He was ungenerous, and +Lily felt it, though she would not acknowledge it even to herself. She +had been very open with him-acknowledging the depth of her love for +him; telling him that he was now all in all to her; that life without +his love would be impossible to her: and in a certain way he took +advantage of these strong avowals, treating her as though she were a +creature utterly in his power-as indeed she was. + +On that evening he said no more of Johnny Eames, but said much of the +difficulty of a man establishing himself with a wife in London, who had +nothing but his own moderate income on which to rely. He did not in so +many words tell her that if her friends could make up for her two or +three thousand pounds-that being much less than he had expected when he +first made his offer-this terrible difficulty would be removed; but he +said enough to make her understand that the world would call him very +imprudent in taking a girl who had nothing. And as he spoke of these +things, Lily remaining for the most part silent as he did so, it +occurred to him that he might talk to her freely of his past life-more +freely than he would have done had he feared that he might lose her by +any such disclosures. He had no fear of losing her. Alas! might it not +be possible that he had some such hope! + +He told her that his past life had been expensive; that, though he was +not in debt, he had lived up to every shilling that he had, and that he +had contracted habits of expenditure which it would be almost +impossible for him to lay aside at a day's notice. Then he spoke of +entanglements, meaning, as he did so, to explain more fully what were +their nature-but not daring to do so when he found that Lily was +altogether in the dark as to what he meant. No; he was not a generous +man-a very ungenerous man. And yet, during all this time, he thought +that he was guided by principle. "It will be best that I should be +honest with her," he said to himself. And then he told himself, scores +of times, that when making his offer he had expected, and had a right +to expect, that she would not be penniless. Under those circumstances +he had done the best he could for her-offering her his heart honestly, +with a quick readiness to make her his own at the earliest day that she +might think possible. Had he been more cautious, he need not have +fallen into this cruel mistake; but she, at any rate, could not quarrel +with him for his imprudence. And still he was determined to stand by +his engagement and willing to marry her, although, as he the more +thought of it, he felt the more strongly that he would thereby ruin his +prospects, and thrust beyond his own reach all those good things which +he had hoped to win. At he continued to talk to her he gave himself +special credit for his generosity, and felt that he was only doing his +duty by her in pointing out to her all the difficulties which lay in +the way of their marriage. + +At first Lily said some words intended to convey an assurance that she +would be the most economical wife that man ever had, but she soon +ceased from such promises as these. Her perceptions were keen, and she +discovered that the difficulties of which he was afraid were those +which he must overcome before his marriage, not any which might be +expected to overwhelm him after it. "A cheap and nasty ménage would be +my aversion," he said to her. "It is that which I want to avoid-chiefly +for your sake." Then she promised him that she would wait patiently for +his time-"I suppose we shall have to wait two years. And that's a deuce +of a bore-a terrible bore." And there was that in the tone of his voice +which grated on her feelings, and made her wretched for the moment. + +As he parted with her for the night on her own side of the little +bridge which led from one garden to the other, he put his arm round her +to embrace her and kiss her, as he had often done at that spot. It had +become a habit with them to say their evening farewells there, and the +secluded little nook amongst the shrubs was inexpressibly dear to Lily. +But on the present occasion she made an effort to avoid his caress, She +turned from him-very slightly, but it was enough, and he felt it. "Are +you angry with me?" he said. "Oh, no! Adolphus; how can I be angry with +you?" And then she turned to him and gave him her face to kiss almost +before he had again asked for it. "He shall not at any rate think that +I am unkind to him-and it will not matter now," she said to herself, as +she walked slowly across the lawn, in the dark, up to her mother's +drawing-room window. + +"Well, dearest," said Mrs Dale, who was there alone; "did the beards +wag merry in the Great Hall this evening?" That was a joke with them, +for neither Crosbie nor Bernard Dale used a razor at his toilet. + +"Not specially merry. And I think it was my fault, for I have a +headache. Mamma, I believe I will go at once to bed." + +"My darling, is there anything wrong? + +"Nothing, mamma. But we had such a long ride; and then Adolphus is +going, and of course we have so much to say. Tomorrow will be the last +day, for I shall only just see him on Wednesday morning; and as I want +to be well, if possible, I'll go to bed." And so she took her candle +and went. + +When Bell came up, Lily was still awake, but she begged her sister not +to disturb her. "Don't talk to me, Bell," she said." I'm trying to make +myself quiet, and I half feel that I should get childish if I went on +talking. I have almost more to think of than I know how to manage." And +she strove, not altogether unsuccessfully, to speak with a cheery tone, +as though the cares which weighed upon her were not unpleasant in their +nature. Then her sister kissed her and left her to her thoughts. + +And she had great matter for thinking; so great, that many hours +sounded in her ears from the clock on the stairs before she brought her +thoughts to a shape that satisfied herself. She did so bring them at +last, and then she slept. She did so bring them, toiling over her work +with tears that made her pillow wet, with heart-burning and almost with +heart-breaking, with much doubting, and many anxious, eager inquiries +within her own bosom as to that which she ought to do, and that which +she could endure to do. But at last her resolve was taken, and then she +slept. + +It had been agreed between them that Crosbie should come down to the +Small House on the next day after breakfast, and remain there till the +time came for riding. But Lily determined to alter this arrangement, +and accordingly put on her hat immediately after breakfast, and posted +herself at the bridge, so as to intercept her lover as he came. He soon +appeared with his friend Dale, and she at once told him her purpose. + +"I want to have a talk with you, Adolphus, before you go in to mamma; +so come with me into the field." + +"All right," said he. + +"And Bernard can finish his cigar on the lawn. Mamma and Bell will join +him there." + +"All right," said Bernard. So they separated; and Crosbie went away +with Lily into the field where they had first learned to know each +other in those haymaking days. + +She did not say much till they were well away from the house; but +answered what words he chose to speak-not knowing very well of what he +spoke. But when she considered that they had reached the proper spot, +she began very abruptly. + +"Adolphus," she said, "I have something to say to you-something to +which you must listen very carefully." Then he looked at her, and at +once knew that she was in earnest. + +"This is the last day on which I could say it," she continued; "and I +am very glad that I have not let the last day go by without saying it. +I should not have known how to put it in a letter." + +"What is it, Lily?" + +"And I do not know that I can say it properly; but I hope that you will +not be hard upon me. Adolphus, if you wish that all this between us +should be over, I will consent." + +"Lily!" + +"I mean what I say. If you wish it, I will consent; and when I have +said so, proposing it myself, you may be quite sure that I shall never +blame you, if you take me at my word." + +"Are you tired of me, Lily?" + +"No. I shall never be tired of you-never weary with loving you. I did +not wish to say so now; but I will answer your question boldly. Tired +of you! I fancy that a girl can never grow tired of her lover. But I +would sooner die in the struggle than be the cause of your ruin. It +would be better-in every way better." + +"I have said nothing of being ruined." + +"But listen to me. I should not die if you left me-not be utterly +broken-hearted. Nothing on earth can I ever love as I have loved you. +But I have a God and a Saviour that will be enough for me. I can turn +to them with content, if it be well that you should leave me. I have +gone to them, and-" + +But at this moment she could utter no more words. She had broken down +in her effort, losing her voice through the strength of her emotion. As +she did not choose that he should see her overcome, she turned from him +and walked away across the grass. Of course he followed her; but he was +not so quick after her, but that time had been given to her to recover +herself. "It is true," she said." I have the strength of which I tell +you. Though I have given myself to you as your wife, I can hear to be +divorced from you now-now. And, my love, though it may sound heartless, +I would sooner be so divorced from you, than cling to you as a log that +must drag you down under the water, and drown you in trouble and care. +I would-indeed I would. If you go, of course that kind of thing is over +for me. But the world has more than that-much more; and I would make +myself happy-yes, my love, I would be happy. You need not fear that." + +"But, Lily, why is all this said to me here today?" + +"Because it is my duty to say it. I understand all your position now, +though it is only now. It never flashed on me till yesterday. When you +proposed to me, you thought that I-that I had some fortune." + +"Never mind that now, Lily." + +"But you did. I see it all now. I ought perhaps to have told you that +it was not so. There has been the mistake, and we are both sufferers. +But we need not make the suffering deeper than needs be. My love, you +are free-from this moment. And even my heart shall not blame you for +accepting your freedom." + +"And are you afraid of poverty?" he asked her. + +"I am afraid of poverty for you. You and I have lived differently. +Luxuries, of which I know nothing, have been your daily comforts. I +tell you I can bear to part with you. but I cannot bear to become the +source of your unhappiness. Yes; I will bear it; and none shall dare in +my hearing to speak against you. I have brought you here to say the +word; nay, more than that-to advise you to say it." + +He stood silent for a moment, during which he held her by the hand. She +was looking into his face, but he was looking away into the clouds; +striving to appear as though he was the master of the occasion. But +during those moments his mind was wracked with doubt. What if he should +take her at her word? Some few would say bitter things against him, but +such bitter things had been said against many another man without +harming him. Would it not be well for both if he should take her at her +word? She would recover and love again, as other girls had done; and as +for him, he would thus escape from the ruin at which he had been gazing +for the last week past. For it was ruin-utter ruin. He did love her; so +he declared to himself. But was he a man who ought to throw the world +away for love? Such men there were; but was he one of them? Could he be +happy in that small house, somewhere near the New Road, with five +children and horrid misgivings as to the baker's bill? Of all men +living, was not he the last that should have allowed himself to fall +into such a trap? All this passed through his mind as he turned his +face up to the clouds with a look that was intended to be grand and +noble. + +"Speak to me, Adolphus, and say that it shall be so." + +Then his heart misgave him, and he lacked the courage to extricate +himself from his trouble; or, as he afterwards said to himself, he had +not the heart to do it. "If I understand you, rightly, Lily, all this +comes from no want of love on your own part? + +"Want of love on my part? But you should not ask me that." + +"Until you tell me that there is such a want, I will agree to no +parting. "Then he took her hand and put it within his arm. + +"No, Lily; whatever may be our cares and troubles, we are bound +together-indissolubly." + +"Are we?" said she; and as she spoke, her voice trembled, and her hand +shook. + +"Much too firmly for any such divorce as that. No, Lily, I claim the +right to tell you all my troubles; but I shall not let you go." + +"But, Adolphus-" + +and the hand on his arm was beginning to cling to it again. + +"Adolphus," said he, "has got nothing more to say on that subject. He +exercises the right which he believes to be his own, and chooses to +retain the prize which he has won." + +She was now clinging to him in very truth. "Oh, my love!" she said. "I +do not know how to say it again. It is of you that I am thinking-of +you, of you!" + +"I know you are; but you have misunderstood me a little; that's all." + +"Have I? Then listen to me again, once more, my heart's own darling, my +love, my husband, my lord! If I cannot be to you at once like Ruth, and +never cease from coming after you, my thoughts to you shall be like +those of Ruth-if aught but death part thee and me, may God do so to me +and more also." Then she fell upon his breast and wept. + +He still hardly understood the depth of her character. He was not +himself deep enough to comprehend it all. But yet he was awed by her +great love, and exalted to a certain solemnity of feeling which for the +time made him rejoice in his late decision. For a few hours he was +minded to throw the world behind him, and wear this woman, as such a +woman should be worn-as a comforter to him in all things, and a strong +shield against great troubles. "Lily," he said, "my own Lily! +"Yes, your own, to take when you please, and leave untaken while you +please; and as much your own in one way as in the other." Then she +looked up again, and essayed to laugh as she did so." You will think I +am frantic, but I am so happy. I don't care about your going now; +indeed I don't. There; you may go now, this minute, if you like it." +And she withdrew her hand from his. "I feel so differently from what I +have done for the last few days. I am so glad you have spoken to me as +you did. Of course I ought to bear all those things with you. But I +cannot be unhappy about it now. I wonder if I went to work and made a +lot of things, whether that would help? + +"A set of shirts for me, for instance?" + +"I could do that, at any rate." + +"It may come to that yet, some of these days." + +"I pray God that it may." Then again she was serious, and the tears +came once more into her eyes. "I pray God that it may. To be of use to +you-to work for you--to do something for you that may have in it some +sober, earnest purport of usefulness-that is what I want above all +things. I want to be with you at once that I may be of service to you. +Would that you and I were alone together, that I might do everything +for you. I sometimes think that a very poor man's wife is the happiest, +because she does do everything." + +"You shall do everything very soon," said he; and then they sauntered +along pleasantly through the morning hours, and when they again +appeared at Mrs Dale's table, Mrs Dale and Bell were astonished at +Lily's brightness. All her old ways had seemed to return to her, and +she made her little saucy speeches to Mr Crosbie as she had used to do +when he was first becoming fascinated by her sweetness. "You know that +you'll be such a swell when you get to that countess's house that +you'll forget all about Allington." + +"Of course I shall," said he. + +"And the paper you write upon will be all over coronets-that is, if +ever you do write. Perhaps you will to Bernard some day, just to show +that you are staying at a castle." + +"You certainly don't deserve that he should write to you," sad Mrs Dale. + +"I don't expect it for a moment-not till he gets back to London and +finds that he has nothing else to do at his office. But I should so +like to see how you and Lady Julia get on together. It was quite clear +that she regarded you as an ogre; didn't she, Bell?" + +"So many people are ogres to Lady Julia," said Bell. + +"I believe Lady Julia to be a very good woman," said Mrs Dale, "and I +won't have her abused." + +"Particularly before poor Bernard, who is her pet nephew," said Lily. +"I dare say Adolphus will become a pet too when she has been a week +with him at Courcy Castle. Do try and cut Bernard out." + +>From all which Mrs Dale learned that some care which had sat heavy on +Lily's heart was now lightened, if not altogether removed. She had +asked no questions of her daughter, but she had perceived during the +past few days that Lily was in trouble, and she knew that such trouble +had arisen from her engagement. She had asked no questions, but of +course she had been told what was Mr Crosbie's income, and had been +made to understand that it was not to he considered as amply sufficient +for all the wants of matrimony. There was little difficulty in guessing +what was the source of Lily's care, and as little in now perceiving +that something had been said between them by which that care had been +relieved. + +After that they all rode, and the afternoon went by pleasantly. It was +the last day indeed, but Lily had determined that she would not he sad. +She had told him that he might go now, and that she would not be +discontented at his going. She knew that the morrow would be very blank +to her; but she struggled to live up to the spirit of her promise, and +she succeeded. They all dined at the Great House, even Mrs Dale doing +so upon this occasion. When they had come in from the garden in the +evening, Crosbie talked more to Mrs Dale than he did even to Lily, +while Lily sat a little distant, listening with all her ears, sometimes +saying a low-toned word, and happy beyond expression in the feeling +that her mother and her lover should understand each other. And it must +be understood that Crosbie at this time was fully determined to conquer +the difficulties of which he had thought so much, and to fix the +earliest day which might be possible for his marriage. The solemnity of +that meeting in the field still hung about him, and gave to his present +feelings a manliness and a truth of purpose which were too generally +wanting to them. If only those feelings would last! But now he talked +to Mrs Dale about her daughter, and about their future prospects, in a +tone which he could not have used had not his mind for the time been +true to her. He had never spoken so freely to Lily's mother, and at no +time had Mrs Dale felt for him so much of a mother's love. He +apologised for the necessity of some delay, arguing that he could not +endure to see his young wife without the comfort of a home of her own, +and that he was now, as he always had been, afraid of incurring debt. +Mrs Dale disliked waiting engagements-as do all mothers-but she could +not answer unkindly to such pleading as this. + +"Lily is so very young," she said, "that she may well wait for a year +or so." + +"For seven years," said Lily, jumping up and whispering into her +mother's ear. "I shall hardly be six-and-twenty then, which is not at +all too old." + +And so the evening passed away very pleasantly. + +"God bless you, Adolphus!" Mrs Dale said to him, as she parted with him +at her own door. It was the first time that she had called him by his +Christian name. "I hope you understand how much we are trusting to you." + +"I do-I do," said he, as he pressed her hand. Then as he walked back +alone, he swore to himself, binding himself to the oath with all his +heart, that he would be true to those women-both to the daughter and to +the mother; for the solemnity of the morning was still upon him. + +He was to start the next morning before eight, Bernard having +undertaken to drive him over to the railway at Guestwick. The breakfast +was on the table shortly after seven; and just as the two men had come +down, Lily entered the room, with her hat and shawl. "I said I would be +in to pour out your tea," said she; and then she sat herself down over +against the teapot. + +It was a silent meal, for people do not know what to say in those last +minutes. And Bernard, too, was there; proving how true is the adage +which says, that two are company, but that three are not. I think that +Lily was wrong to come up on that last morning; but she would not hear +of letting him start without seeing him, when her lover had begged her +not to put herself to so much trouble. Trouble! Would she not have sat +up all night to see even the last of the top of his hat? + +Then Bernard, muttering something about the horse, went away. "I have +only one minute to speak to you," said she, jumping up, "and I have +been thinking all night of what I had to say. It is so easy to think, +and so hard to speak." + +"My darling, I understand it all." + +"But you must understand this, that I will never distrust you. I will +never ask you to give me up again, or say that I could be happy without +you. I could not live without you; that is, without the knowledge that +you are mine. But I will never be impatient, never. Pray, pray believe +me! Nothing shall make me distrust you." + +"Dearest Lily, I will endeavour to give you no cause." + +"I know you will not; but I specially wanted to tell you that. And you +will write-very soon? + +"Directly I get there." + +"And as often as you can. But I won't bother you; only your letters +will make me so happy. I shall be so proud when they come to me. I +shall be afraid of writing too much to you, for fear I should tire you." + +"You will never do that." + +"Shall I not? But you must write first, you know. If you could only +understand how I shall live upon your letters! And now good-bye. There +are the wheels. God bless you, my own, my own!" And she gave herself up +into his arms, as she had given herself up into his heart. + +She stood at the door as the two men got into the gig, and, as it +passed down through the gate, she hurried out upon the terrace, from +whence she could see it for a few yards down the lane. Then she ran +from the terrace to the gate, and, hurrying through the gate, made her +way into the churchyard, from the farther corner of which she could see +the heads of the two men till they had made the turn into the main road +beyond the parsonage. There she remained till the very sound of the +wheels no longer reached her ears, stretching her eyes in the direction +they had taken. Then she turned round slowly and made her way out at +the churchyard gate, which opened on to the road close to the front +door of the Small House. + +"I should like to punch his head," said Hopkins, the gardener, to +himself, as he saw the gig driven away and saw Lily trip after it, that +she might see the last of him whom it carried. + +"And I wouldn't think nothing of doing it; no more I wouldn't," Hopkins +added in his soliloquy. It was generally thought about the place that +Miss Lily was Hopkins's favourite, though he showed it chiefly by +snubbing her more frequently than he snubbed her sister. + +Lily had evidently intended to return home through the front door; but +she changed her purpose before she reached the house, and made her way +slowly back through the churchyard, and by the gate of the Great House, +and by the garden at the back of it, till she crossed the little +bridge. But on the bridge she rested awhile, leaning against the +railing as she had often leant with him, and thinking of all that had +passed since that July day on which she had first met him. On no spot +had he so often told her of his love as on this, and nowhere had she so +eagerly sworn to him that she would he his own dutiful loving wife. + +"And by God's help so I will," she said to herself, as she walked +firmly up to the house. "He has gone, mamma," she said, as she entered +the breakfast-room. "And now we'll go back to our work-a-day ways; it +has been all Sunday for me for the last six weeks." + +CHAPTER XVI + +MR CROSBIE MEETS AN OLD CLERGYMAN ON HIS WAY TO COURCY CASTLE + + +For the first mile or two of their journey Crosbie and Bernard Dale +sat, for the most part, silent in their gig. Lily, as she ran down to +the churchyard corner and stood there looking after them with her +loving eyes, had not been seen by them. But the spirit of her devotion +was still strong upon them both, and they felt that it would not be +well to strike at once into any ordinary topic of conversation. And, +moreover, we may presume that Crosbie did feel much at thus parting +from such a girl as Lily Dale, with whom he had lived in close +intercourse for the last six weeks, and whom he loved with all his +heart-with all the heart that he had for such purposes. In those doubts +as to his marriage which had troubled him he had never expressed to +himself any disapproval of Lily. He had not taught himself to think +that she was other than he would have her be, that he might thus give +himself an excuse fur parting from her. Not as yet, at any rate, had he +had recourse to that practice, so common with men who wish to free +themselves from the bonds with which they have permitted themselves to +be bound. Lily had been too sweet to his eyes, to his touch, to all his +senses for that. He had enjoyed too keenly the pleasure of being with +her, and of hearing her tell him that she loved him, to allow of his +being personally tired of her. He had not been so spoilt by his club +life but that he had taken exquisite pleasure in all her nice country +ways, and soft, kind-hearted, womanly humour. He was by no means tired +of Lily. Better than any of his London pleasures was this pleasure of +making love in the green fields to Lily Dale. It was the consequences +of it that affrighted him. Babies with their belongings would come; and +dull evenings, over a dull fire, or else the pining grief of a +disappointed woman. He would be driven to be careful as to his clothes, +because the ordering of a new coat would entail a serious expenditure. +He could go no more among countesses and their daughters, because it +would be out of the question that his wife should visit at their +houses. All the victories that he had ever won must be given up. He was +thinking of this even while the gig was going round the corner near the +parsonage house, and while Lily's eyes were still blessed with some +view of his departing back; but he was thinking, also, that moment, +that there might be other victory in store for him; that it might he +possible for him to learn to like that fireside, even though babies +should be there, and a woman opposite to him intent on baby cares. He +was struggling as best he knew how; for the solemnity which Lily had +imparted to him had not yet vanished from his spirit. + +"I hope that, upon the whole, you feel contented with your visit?" said +Bernard to him, at last. + +"Contented? Of course I do." + +"That is easily said; and civility to me, perhaps, demands as much. But +I know that you have, to some extent, been disappointed." + +"Well; yes. I have been disappointed as regards money. It is of no use +denying it." + +"I should not mention it now, only that I want to know that you +exonerate me." + +"I have never blamed you-neither you, nor anybody else; unless, indeed, +it has been myself." + +"You mean that you regret what you've done?" + +"No; I don't mean that. I am too devotedly attached to that dear girl +whom we have just left to feel any regret that I have engaged myself to +her. But I do think that had I managed better with your uncle things +might have been different." + +"I doubt it. Indeed I know that it is not so; and can assure you that +you need not make yourself unhappy on that score. I had thought, as you +well know, that he would have done something for Lily-something, though +not as much as he always intended to do for Bell. But you may be sure +of this; that he had made up his mind as to what he would do. Nothing +that you or I could have said would have changed him." + +"Well; we won't say anything more about it," said Crosbie. Then they +went on again in silence, and arrived at Guestwick in ample time for +the train. + +"Let me know as soon as you get to town," said Crosbie. "Oh, of course. +I'll write to you before that." + +And so they parted. As Dale turned and went, Crosbie felt that he liked +him less than he had done before; and Bernard, also, as he was driving +him, came to the conclusion that Crosbie would not be so good a fellow +as a brother-in-law as he had been as a chance friend. "He'll give us +trouble, in some way; and I'm sorry that I brought him down." That was +Dale's inward conviction in the matter. + +Crosbie's way from Guestwick lay, by railway, to Barchester, the +cathedral city lying in the next county, from whence he purposed to +have himself conveyed over to Courcy. There had, in truth, been no +cause for his very early departure, as he was aware that all arrivals +at country houses should take place at some hour not much previous to +dinner. He had been determined to be so soon upon the road by a feeling +that it would be well for him to get over those last hours. Thus he +found himself in Barchester at eleven o'clock, with nothing on his +hands to do; and, having nothing else to do, he went to church. There +was a full service at the cathedral, and as the verger marshalled him +up to one of the empty stalls, a little spare old man was beginning to +chant the Litany. "I did not mean to fall in for all this," said +Crosbie, to himself, as he settled himself with his arms on the +cushion. But the peculiar charm of that old man's voice soon attracted +him-a voice that, though tremulous, was yet strong; and he ceased to +regret the saint whose honour and glory had occasioned the length of +that day's special service. + +"And who is the old gentleman who chanted the Litany?" he asked the +verger afterwards, as he allowed himself to be shown round the +monuments of the cathedral. + +"That's our precentor, sir, Mr Harding. You must have heard of Mr +Harding." But Crosbie, with a full apology, confessed his ignorance. + +"Well, sir; he's pretty well known too, tho' he is so shy like. He's +father-in-law to our dean, sir; and father-in-law to Archdeacon Grantly +also." + +"His daughters have all gone into the profession, then?" + +"Why, yes; but Miss Eleanor-for I remember her before she was married +at all-when they lived at the hospital-" + +"At the hospital?" +"Hiram's hospital, sir. He was warden, you know. You should go and see +the hospital, sir, if you never was there before. Well, Miss +Eleanor-that was his youngest-she married Mr Bold as her first. But now +she's the dean's lady." + +"Oh; the dean's lady, is she? + +"Yes, indeed. And what do you think, sir? Mr Harding might have been +dean himself if he'd liked. They did offer it to him." + +"And he refused it? + +"Indeed he did, sir." + +"Nolo decanari. I never heard of that before. What made him so modest? + +"Just that, sir; because he is modest. He's past his seventy now-ever +so much; but he's just as modest as a young girl. A deal more modest +than some of them. To see him and his granddaughter together!" + +"And who is his granddaughter?" + +"Why Lady Dumbello, as will be the Marchioness of Hartletop." + +"I know Lady Dumbello," said Crosbie; not meaning, however, to boast to +the verger of his noble acquaintance. + +"Oh, do you, sir?" said the man, unconsciously touching his hat at this +sign of greatness in the stranger; though in truth he had no love for +her ladyship. "Perhaps you're going to be one of the party at Courcy +Castle." + +"Well, I believe I am." + +"You'll find her ladyship there before you. She lunched with her aunt +at the deanery as she went through, yesterday; finding it too much +trouble to go out to her father's, at Plumstead. Her father is the +archdeacon, you know. They do say-but her ladyship is your friend!" + +"No friend at all; only a very slight acquaintance. She's quite as much +above my line as she is above her father's." + +"Well, she is above them all. They say she would hardly as much as +speak to the old gentleman." + +"What, her father? + +"No, Mr Harding; he that chanted the Litany just now. There he is, sir, +coming out of the deanery." + +They were now standing at the door leading out from one of the +transepts, and Mr Harding passed them as they were speaking together. +He was a little, withered, shambling old man, with bent shoulders, +dressed in knee-breeches and long black gaiters, which hung rather +loosely about his poor old legs-rubbing his hands one over the other as +he went. And yet he walked quickly; not tottering as he walked, but +with an uncertain, doubtful step. The verger, as Mr Harding passed, put +his hand to his head, and Crosbie also raised his hat. Whereupon Mr +Harding raised his, and bowed, and turned round as though he were about +to speak. Crosbie felt that he had never seen a face on which traits of +human kindness were more plainly written. But the old man did not +speak. lie turned his body half round, and then shambled back, as +though ashamed of his intention, and passed on. + +"He is of that sort that they make the angels of," said the verger. +"But they can't make many if they want them all as good as he is. I'm +much obliged to you, sir." And he pocketed the half-crown which Crosbie +gave him. + +"So that's Lady Dumbello's grandfather," said Crosbie, to himself, as +he walked slowly round the close towards the hospital, by the path +which the verger had shown him. He had no great love for Lady Dumbello, +who had dared to snub him-even him. "They may make an angel of the old +gentleman," he continued to say; "but they'll never succeed in that way +with the granddaughter." + +He sauntered slowly on over a little bridge; and at the gate of the +hospital he again came upon Mr Harding. "I was going to venture in," +said he, "to look at the place. But perhaps I shall be intruding? + +"No, no; by no means," said Mr Harding. "Pray come in. I cannot say +that I am just at home here. I do not live here-not now. But I know the +ways of the place well, and can make you welcome. That's the warden's +house. Perhaps we won't go in so early in the day, as the lady has a +very large family. An excellent lady, and a dear friend of mine-as is +her husband." + +"And he is warden, you say?" + +"Yes, warden of the hospital. You see the house, sir. Very pretty, +isn't it? Very pretty. To my idea it's the prettiest built house I ever +saw." + +"I won't go quite so far as that," said Crosbie. + +"But you would if you'd lived there twelve years, as I did. I lived in +that house twelve years, and I don't think there's so sweet a spot on +the earth's surface. Did you ever see such turf as that? + +"Very nice indeed," said Crosbie, who began to make a comparison with +Mrs Dale's turf at the Small House, and to determine that the Allington +turf was better than that of the hospital. + +"I had that turf laid down myself. There were borders there when I +first came, with hollyhocks, and those sort of things. The turf was an +improvement." + +"There's no doubt of that, I should say." + +"The turf was an improvement, certainly. And I planted those shrubs, +too. There isn't such a Portugal laurel as that in the county." + +"Were you warden here, sir?" And Crosbie, as he asked the question, +remembered that, in his very young days, he had heard of some newspaper +quarrel which had taken place about Hiram's hospital at Barchester. + +"Yes, sir. I was warden here for twelve years. Dear, dear, dear! If +they had put any gentleman here that was not on friendly terms with me +it would have made me very unhappy-very. But, as it is, I go in and out +just as I like; almost as much as I did before they-But they didn't +turn me out. There were reasons which made it best that I should +resign." + +"And you live at the deanery now, Mr Harding?" + +"Yes; I live at the deanery now. But I am not dean, you know. My +son-in-law, Dr Arabin, is the dean. I have another daughter married in +the neighbourhood, and can truly say that my lines have fallen to me in +pleasant places." + +Then he took Crosbie in among the old men, into all of whose rooms he +went. It was an almshouse for aged men of the city, and before Crosbie +had left him Mr Harding had explained all the circumstances of the +hospital, and of the way in which he had left it. "I didn't like going, +you know; I thought it would break my heart. But I could not stay when +they said such things as that-I couldn't stay. And, what is more, I +should have been wrong to stay. I see it all now. But when I went out +under that arch, Mr Crosbie, leaning on my daughter's arm, I thought +that my heart would have broken." And the tears even nosy ran down the +old man's cheeks as he spoke. + +It was a long story, and it need not be repeated here. And there was no +reason why it should have been told to Mr Crosbie, other than this-that +Mr Harding was a fond garrulous old man, who loved to indulge his mind +in reminiscences of the past. But this was remarked by Crosbie; that, +in telling his story, no word was said by Mr Harding injurious to any +one. And yet he had been injured-injured very deeply." "It was all for +the best," he said at last; "especially as the happiness has not been +denied to me of making myself at home at the old place. I would take +you He had told the old clergyman who he was, and that he was on his +way to Courcy. "Where, as I understand, I shall meet a granddaughter of +yours." + +"Yes, yes; she is my grandchild. She and I have got into different +walks of life now, so that I don't see much of her. They tell me that +she does her duty well in that sphere of life to which it has pleased +God to call her." + +"That depends," thought Crosbie, "on what the duties of a viscountess +may be supposed to be." But he wished his new friend good-bye, without +saying anything further as to Lady Dumbello, and, at about six o'clock +in the evening, had himself driven up under the portico of Courcy +Castle. + +CHAPTER XVII + +COURCY CASTLE + + +Courcy Castle was very full. In the first place, there was a great +gathering there of all the Courcy family. The earl was there-and the +countess, of course. At this period of the year Lady de Courcy was +always at home; but the presence of the earl himself had heretofore +been by no means so certain. He was a man who had been much given to +royal visitings and attendances, to parties in the Highlands, to-no +doubt necessary-prolongations of the London season, to sojournings at +certain German watering-places, convenient, probably, in order that he +might study the ways and ceremonies of German Courts-and to various +other absences from home, occasioned by a close pursuit of his own +special aims in life; for the Earl de Courcy had been a great courtier. +But of late gout, lumbago, and perhaps also some diminution in his +powers of making himself generally agreeable, had reconciled him to +domestic duties, and the earl spent much of his time at home. The +countess, in former days, had been heard to complain of her lord's +frequent absence. But it is hard to please some women-and now she would +not always be satisfied with his presence. + +And all the sons and daughters were there-excepting Lord Porlock, the +eldest, who never met his father. The earl and Lord Porlock were not on +terms, and indeed hated each other as only such fathers and such sons +can hate. The Honourable George de Courcy was there with his bride, he +having lately performed a manifest duty, in having married a young +woman with money. Very young she was not-having reached some years of +her life in advance of thirty; but then, neither was the Honourable +George very young; and in this respect the two were not ill-sorted. The +lady's money had not been very much-perhaps thirty thousand pounds or +so. But then the Honour-able George's money had been absolutely none. +Now he had an income on which he could live, and therefore his father +and mother had forgiven him all his sins, and taken him again to their +bosom. And the marriage was matter of great moment, for the elder scion +of the house had not yet taken to himself a wife, and the De Courcy +family might have to look to this union for an heir. The lady herself +was not beautiful, or clever, or of imposing manners-nor was she of +high birth. But neither was she ugly, nor unbearably stupid. Her +manners were, at any rate, innocent; and as to her birth-seeing that, +from the first, she was not supposed to have had any-no disappointment +was felt. Her father had been a coal-merchant. She was always called +Mrs George, and the effort made respecting her by everybody in and +about the family was to treat her as though she were a figure of a +woman, a large well-dressed resemblance of a being, whom it was +necessary for certain purposes that the De Courcys should carry in +their train. Of the Honourable George we may further observe, that, +having been a spendthrift all his life, he had now become strictly +parsimonious. Having reached the discreet age of forty, he had at last +learned that beggary was objectionable; and he, therefore, devoted +every energy of his mind to saving shillings and pence wherever pence +and shillings might be saved. When first this turn came upon him both +his father and mother were delighted to observe it; but, although it +had hardly yet lasted over twelve months, some evil results were +beginning to appear. Though possessed of an income, he would take no +steps towards possessing himself of a house. He hung by the paternal +mansion, either in town or country; drank the paternal wines, rode the +paternal horses, and had even contrived to obtain his wife's dresses +from the maternal milliner. In the completion of which little last +success, however, some slight family dissent had showed itself. + +The Honourable John, the third son, was also at Courcy. He had as yet +taken to himself no wife, and as he had not hitherto made himself +conspicuously useful in any special walk of life his family were +beginning to regard him as a burden. Having no income of his own to +save, he had not copied his brother's virtue of parsimony; and, to tell +the truth plainly, had made himself so generally troublesome to his +father, that lie had been on more than one occasion threatened with +expulsion from the family roof. But it is not easy to expel a son, +Human fledglings cannot be driven out of the nest like young birds. An +Honour-able John turned adrift into absolute poverty will make himself +heard of in the world-if in no other way, by his ugliness as he +starves. A thorough-going ne'er-do-well in the upper classes has +eminent advantages on his side in the battle which he fights against +respectability. He can't be sent to Australia against his will. He +can't be sent to the poor-house without the knowledge of all the world. +He can't be kept out of tradesmen's shops; nor, without terrible +scandal, can he be kept away from the paternal properties. The earl had +threatened, and snarled, and shown his teeth; he was an angry man, and +a man who could look very angry; with eyes which could almost become +red, and a brow that wrinkled itself in perpendicular wrinkles, +sometimes very terrible to behold. But he was an inconstant man, and +the Honourable John had learned to measure his father, and in an +accurate balance. + +I have mentioned the sons first, because it is to be presumed that they +were the elder, seeing that their names were mentioned before those of +their sisters in all the peerages. But there were four daughters-the +Ladies Amelia, Rosina, Margaretta, and Alexandrina. They, we may say, +Were the flowers of the family, having so lived that they had created +none of those family feuds which had been so frequent between their +father and their brothers. They were discreet, highbred women, +thinking, perhaps, a little too much of their own position in the +world, and somewhat apt to put a wrong value on those advantages which +they possessed, and on those which they did not possess. The Lady +Amelia was already married, having made a substantial if not a +brilliant match with Mr Mortimer Gazebee, a flourishing solicitor, +belonging to a firm which had for many years acted as agents to the De +Courcy property. Mortimer Gazebee was now member of Parliament for +Barchester, partly through the influence of his father-in-law. That +this should be so was a matter of great disgust to the Honourable +George, who thought that the seat should have belonged to him. But as +Mr Gazebee had paid the very heavy expenses of the election out of his +own pocket, and as George de Courcy certainly could not have paid them, +the justice of his claim may be questionable. Mrs Gazebee was now the +happy mother of many babies, whom she was wont to carry with her on her +visits to Courcy Castle, and had become an excellent partner to her +husband He would perhaps have liked it better if she had not spoken so +frequently to him of her own high position as the daughter of an earl, +or so frequently to others of her low position as the wife of an +attorney. But, on the whole, they did very well together, and Mr +Gazebee had gotten from his marriage quite as much as he expected when +he made it. + +The Lady Rosina was very religious; and I do not know that she was +conspicuous in any other way, unless it might be that she somewhat +resembled her father, in her temper. It was of the Lady Rosina that the +servants were afraid, especially with reference to that so-called day +of rest which, under her dominion, had become to many of them a day of +restless torment. It had not always been so with the Lady Rosina; but +her eyes had been opened by the wife of a great church dignitary in the +neighbourhood, and she had undergone regeneration. How great may be the +misery inflicted by an energetic, unmarried, healthy woman in that +condition-a woman with no husband, or children, or duties, to distract +her from her work-I pray that my readers may never know. + +The Lady Margaretta was her mother's favourite, and she was like her +mother in all things-except that her mother had been a beauty. The +world called her proud, disdainful, and even insolent; but the world +was not aware that in all that she did she was acting in accordance +with a principle which had called for much self-abnegation. She had +considered it her duty to be a De Courcy and an earl's daughter at all +times; and consequently she had sacrificed to her idea of duty all +popularity, adulation, and such admiration as would have been awarded +to her as a well-dressed, tall, fashionable, and by no means stupid +young woman. To be at all times in something higher than they who were +manifestly below her in rank-that was the effort that she was ever +making. But she had been a good daughter, assisting her mother, as best +she might, in all family troubles, and never repining at the cold, +colourless, unlovely life which had been vouchsafed to her. + +Alexandrina was the beauty of the family, and was in truth the +youngest. But even she was not very young, and was beginning to make +her friends uneasy lest she, too, should let the precious season of +hay-harvest run by without due use of her summer's sun. She had, +perhaps, counted too much on her beauty, which had been beauty +according to law rather than beauty according to taste, and had looked, +probably, for too bounteous a harvest. That her forehead, and nose, and +cheeks, and chin were well-formed, no man could deny. Her hair was soft +and plentiful. Her teeth were good, and her eyes were long and oval. +But the fault of her face was this-that when you left her you could not +remember it. After a first acquaintance you could meet her again and +not know her. After many meetings you would fail to carry away with you +any portrait of her features. But such as she had been at twenty, such +was she now at thirty. Years had not robbed her face of its regularity, +or ruffled the smoothness of her too even forehead. Rumour had declared +that on more than one, or perhaps more than two occasions, Lady +Alexandrina had been already induced to plight her troth in return for +proffered love; but we all know that Rumour, when she takes to such +topics, exaggerates the truth, and sets down much in malice. The lady +was once engaged, the engagement lasting for two years, and the +engagement had been broken off, owing to some money difficulties +between the gentlemen of the families. Since that she had become +somewhat querulous, and was supposed to be uneasy on that subject of +her haymaking. Her glass and her maid assured her that her sun shone +still as brightly as ever; but her spirit was becoming weary with +waiting, and she dreaded lest she should become a terror to all, as was +her sister Rosina, or an object of interest to none, as was Margaretta. +It was from her especially that this message had been sent to our +friend Crosbie; for, during the last spring in London, she and Crosbie +had known each other well. Yes, my gentle readers; it is true, as your +heart suggests to you. Under such circumstances Mr Crosbie should not +have gone to Courcy Castle. + +Such was the family circle of the De Courcys. Among their present +guests I need not enumerate many. First and foremost in all respects +was Lady Dumbello, of whose parentage and position a few words were +said in the last chapter. She was a lady still very young, having as +yet been little more than two years married. But in those two years her +triumphs had been many-so many, that in the great world her standing +already equalled that of her celebrated mother-in-law, the Marchioness +of Hartletop, who, for twenty years, had owned no greater potentate +than herself in the realms of fashion. But Lady Dumbello was every inch +as great as she; and men said, and women also, that the daughter-in-law +would soon be the greater. + +"I'll be hanged if I can understand how she does it, "a certain noble +peer had once said to Crosbie, standing at the door of Sebright's, +during the latter days of the last season. "She never says anything to +any one. She won't speak ten words a whole night through." + +"I don't think she has an idea in her head," said Crosbie. + +"Let me tell you that she must be a very clever woman," continued the +noble peer. "No fool could do as she does. Remember, she's only a +parson's daughter; and as for beauty-" +"I don't admire her for one," said Crosbie. + +"I don't want to run away with her, if you mean that," said the peer; +"but she is handsome, no doubt. I wonder whether Dumbello likes it." + +Dumbello did like it. It satisfied his ambition to be led about as the +senior lacquey in his wife's train. He believed himself to be a great +man because the world fought for his wife's presence; and considered +himself to be distinguished even among the eldest suns of marquises, by +the greatness reflected from the parson's daughter whom he had married. +He had now been brought to Courcy Castle, and felt himself proud of his +situation because Lady Dumbello had made considerable difficulty in +according this week to the Countess de Courcy. + +And Lady Julia de Guest was already there, the sister of the other old +earl, who lived in the next county. She had only arrived on the day +before, but had been quick in spreading the news as to Crosbie's +engagement. "Engaged to one of the Dales, is he?" said the countess, +with a pretty little smile, which showed plainly that the matter was +one of no interest to herself. "Has she got any money?" + +"Not a shilling, I should think," said the Lady Julia. + +"Pretty, I suppose?" suggested the countess. + +"Why, yes; she is pretty-and a nice girl. I don't know whether her +mother and uncle were very wise in encouraging Mr Crosbie. I don't hear +that he has anything special to recommend him-in the way of money I +mean." + +"I dare say it will come to nothing," said the countess, who liked to +hear of girls being engaged and then losing their promised husbands. +She did not know that she liked it, but she did; and already had +pleasure in anticipating poor Lily's discomfiture. But not the less was +she angry with Crosbie, feeling that he was making his way into her +house under false pretences. + +And Alexandrina also was angry when Lady Julia repeated the same +tidings in her hearing "I really don't think we care very much about +it, Lady Julia," said she, with a little toss of her head." That's +three times we've been told of Miss Dale's good fortune." + +"The Dales are related to you, I think?" said Margaretta. + +"Not at all," said Lady Julia, bristling up. "The lady whom Mr Crosbie +proposes to marry is in no way connected with us. Her cousin, who is +the heir to the Allington property, is my nephew by his mother." And +then the subject was dropped. + +Crosbie, on his arrival, was shown up into his room, told the hour of +dinner, and left to his devices. He had been at the castle before, and +knew the ways of the house. So he sat himself down to his table, and +began a letter to Lily. But he had not proceeded far, not having as yet +indeed made up his mind as to the form in which he would commence it, +but was sitting idly with the pen in his hand, thinking of Lily, and +thinking also how such houses as this in which he now found himself +would be soon closed against him, when there came a rap at his door, +and before he could answer the Honourable John entered the room. + +"Well, old fellow," said the Honourable John, "how are you? +Crosbie had been intimate with John de Courcy, but never felt for him +either friendship or liking. Crosbie did not like such men as John de +Courcy; but nevertheless, they called each other old fellow, poked each +other's ribs, and were very intimate. + +"Heard you were here," continued the Honourable John "so I thought I +would come up and look after you. Going to be married, ain't you? + +"Not that I know of" said Crosbie. + +"Come, we know better than that. The women have been talking about it +for the last three days. I had her name quite pat yesterday, but I've +forgot it now. Hasn't got a tanner; has she?" And the Honourable John +had now seated himself upon the table. + +"You seem to know a great deal more about it than I do." + +"It is that old woman from Guestwick who told us, then. The women will +be at you at once, you'll find. If there's nothing in it, it's what I +call a d-shame. Why should they always pull a fellow to pieces in that +way? They were going to marry me the other day!" + +"Were they indeed, though? + +"To Harriet Twistleton. You know Harriet Twistleton? An uncommon fine +girl, you know. But I wasn't going to be caught like that. I'm very +fond of Harriet-in my way, you know; but they don't catch an old bird +like me with chaff." + +"I condole with Miss Twistleton for what she has lost." + +"I don't know about condoling. But upon my word that getting married is +a very slow thing. Have you seen George's wife? + +Crosbie declared that he had not as yet had that pleasure. + +"She's here now, you know. I wouldn't have taken her, not if she'd had +ten times thirty thousand pounds. By Jove, no. But he likes it well +enough. Would you believe it now ?-he cares for nothing on earth except +money. You never saw such a fellow. But I'll tell you what, his nose +will be out of joint yet, for Porlock is going to marry. I heard it +from Colepepper, who almost lives with Porlock. As soon as Porlock +heard that she was in the family way he immediately made up his mind to +cut him out." + +"That was a great sign of brotherly love," said Crosbie. + +"I knew he'd do it," said John; "and so I told George before he got +himself spliced. But he would go on. If he'd remained as he was for +four or five years longer there would have been no danger-for Porlock, +you know, is leading the deuce of a life, I shouldn't wonder if he +didn't reform now, and take to singing psalms or something of that +sort." + +"There's no knowing what a man may come to in this world." + +"By George, no. But I'll tell you what, they'll find no change in me. +If I marry it will not be with the intention of giving up life. I say, +old fellow, have you got a cigar here? +"What, to smoke up here, do you mean?" + +"Yes; why not? we're ever so far from the women." + +"Not whilst I am occupier of this room. Besides, it's time to dress for +dinner," + +"Is it? So it is, by George! But I mean to have a smoke first, I can +tell you. So it's all a lie about your being engaged; eh?" + +"As far as I know, it is," said Crosbie. And then his friend left him. + +What was he to do at once, now, this very day, as to his engagement? He +had felt sure that the report of it would be carried to Courcy by Lady +Julia de Guest, but he had not settled down upon any resolution as to +what he would do in consequence. It had not occurred to him that he +would immediately be charged with the offence, and called upon to plead +guilty or not guilty. He had never for a moment meditated any plea of +not guilty, but he was aware of an aversion on his part to declare +himself as engaged to Lilian Dale. It seemed that by doing so he would +cut himself off at once from all pleasure at such houses as Courcy +Castle; and, as he argued to himself, why should he not enjoy the +little remnant of his bachelor life? As to his denying his engagement +to John de Courcy-that was nothing. Any one would understand that he +would be justified in concealing a fact concerning himself from such a +one as he. The denial repeated from John's mouth would amount to +nothing-even among John's own sisters. But now it was necessary that +Crosbie should make up his mind as to what he would say when questioned +by the ladies of the house. If he were to deny the fact to them the +denial would be very serious. And, indeed, was it possible that he +should make such denial with Lady Julia opposite to him? + +Make such a denial! And was it the fact that he could wish to do +so-that he should think of such falsehood, and even meditate on the +perpetration of such cowardice? He had held that young girl to his +heart on that very morning. He had sworn to her, and had also sworn to +himself, that she should have no reason for distrusting him. He had +acknowledged most solemnly to himself that, whether for good or for +ill, he was bound to her; and could it be that he was already +calculating as to the practicability of disowning her? In doing so must +he not have told himself that he was a villain? But in truth he made no +such calculation. His object was to banish the subject, if it were +possible to do so; to think of some answer by which he might create a +doubt. It did not occur to him to tell the countess boldly that there +was no truth whatever in the report, and that Miss Dale was nothing to +him. But might he not skilfully laugh off the subject, even in the +presence of Lady Julia? Men who were engaged did so usually, and why +should not he? It was generally thought that solicitude for the lady's +feelings should prevent a man from talking openly of his own +engagement. Then he remembered the easy freedom with which his position +had been discussed throughout the whole neighbourhood of Allington, and +felt for the first time that the Dale family had been almost indelicate +in their want of reticence." I suppose it was done to tie me the +faster," he said to himself, as he pulled out the ends of his cravat. +"What a fool I was to come here, or indeed to go anywhere, after +settling myself as I have done." And then he went down into the +drawing-room. + +It was almost a relief to him when he found that he was not charged +with his sin at once. He himself had been so full of the subject that +he had expected to be attacked at the moment of his entrance, He was, +however, greeted without any allusion to the matter. The countess, in +her own quiet way, shook hands with him as though she had seen him only +the day before. The earl, who was seated in his arm-chair, asked some +one, out loud, who the stranger was, and then, with two fingers put +forth, muttered some apology for a welcome. But Crosbie was quite up to +that kind of thing. "How do, my lord?" he said, turning his face away +to some one else as he spoke; and then he took no further notice of the +master of the house. "Not know him, indeed!" Crippled though he was by +his matrimonial bond, Crosbie felt that, at any rate as yet, he was the +earl's equal in social importance. After that, he found himself in the +back part of the drawing-room, away from the elder people, standing +with Lady Alexandrina, with Miss Gresham. a cousin of the De Courcys, +and sundry other of the younger portion of the assembled community. + +"So you have Lady Dumbello here?" said Crosbie. + +"Oh, yes; the dear creature!" said Lady Margaretta. "It was so good of +her to come, you know." + +"She positively refused the Duchess of St Bungay," said Alexandrina. "I +hope you perceive how good we've been to you in getting you to meet +her. People have actually asked to come." + +"I am grateful; but, in truth, my gratitude has more to do with Courcy +Castle and its habitual inmates, than with Lady Dumbello. Is he here? + +"Oh, yes! he's in the room somewhere. There he is, standing up by Lady +Clandidlem. He always stands in that way before dinner. In the evening +he sits down much after the same fashion." + +Crosbie had seen him on first entering the room, and had seen every +individual in it. He knew better than to omit the duty of that +scrutinising glance; but it sounded well in his line not to have +observed Lord Dumbello. + +"And her ladyship is not down?" said he. + +"She is generally last," said Lady Margaretta. + +"And yet she has always three women to dress her," said Alexandrina. + +"But when finished, what a success it is!" said Crosbie. + +"Indeed it is!" said Margaretta, with energy. Then the door was opened, +and Lady Dumbello entered the room. + +There was immediately a commotion among them all. Even the gouty old +lord shuffled up out of his chair, and tried, with a grin, to look +sweet and pleasant. The countess came forward, looking very sweet and +pleasant, making little complimentary speeches, to which the +viscountess answered simply by a gracious smile. Lady Clandidlem, +though she was very fat and heavy, left the viscount, and got up to +join the group. Baron Potsneuf, a diplomatic German of great celebrity, +crossed his hands upon his breast. and made a low bow. The Honourable +George, who had stood silent for the last quarter of an hour, suggested +to her ladyship that she must have found the air rather cold; and the +Ladies Margaretta and Alexandrina fluttered up with little +complimentary speeches to their dear Lady Dumbello, hoping this and +beseeching that, as though the" Woman in White" before them had been +the dearest friend of their infancy. + +She was a woman in white, being dressed in white silk with white lace +over it, and with no other jewels upon her person than diamonds. Very +beautifully she was dressed; doing infinite credit, no doubt, to those +three artists who had, between them, succeeded in turning her out of +hand. And her face, also, was beautiful, with a certain cold, +inexpressive beauty. She walked up the room very slowly, smiling here +and smiling there; but still with very faint smiles, and took the place +which her hostess indicated to her. One word she said to the countess +and two to the earl. Beyond that she did not open her lips. All the +homage paid to her she received! as though it were clearly her due. She +was not in the least embarrassed, nor did she show herself to be in the +slightest degree ashamed of her own silence. She did not look like a +fool, nor was she even taken for a fool; but she contributed nothing to +society but her cold!, hard beauty, her gait, and her dress. We may say +that she contributed enough, for society acknowledged itself to be +deeply indebted to her. + +The only person in the room who did not move at Lady Dumbello's +entrance was her husband. But he remained unmoved from no want of +enthusiasm. A spark of pleasure actually beamed in his eye as he saw +the triumphant entrance of his wife. He felt that he had made a match +that was becoming to him as a great nobleman, and that the world was +acknowledging that he had done his duty. And yet Lady Dumbello had been +simply the daughter of a country parson, of a clergyman who had reached +no higher rank than that of an archdeacon. "How wonderfully well that +woman has educated her," the countess said that evening in her +dressing-room, to Margaretta. The woman alluded to was Mrs Grantly, the +wife of the parson and mother of Lady Dumbello. + +The old earl was very cross because destiny and the table of precedence +required him to take out Lady Clandidlem to dinner. He almost insulted +her, as she kindly endeavoured to assist him in his infirm step rather +than to lean upon him. + +"Ugh!" he said, "it's a bad arrangement that makes two old people like +you and me be sent out together to help each other." + +"Speak for yourself," said her ladyship, with a laugh. "I, at any rate, +can get about without any assistance,"-which, indeed, was true enough. + +"It's well for you!" growled the earl, as he got himself into his seat. + +And after that he endeavoured to solace his pain by a flirtation with +Lady Dumbello on his left. The earl's smiles and the earl's teeth, when +he whispered naughty little nothings to pretty young women, were +phenomena at which men might marvel. Whatever those naughty nothings +were on the present occasion, Lady Dumbello took them all with +placidity, smiling graciously, but speaking hardly more than +monosyllables. + +Lady Alexandrina fell to Crosbie's lot, and he felt gratified that it +was so. It might be necessary for him, as a married man, to give up +such acquaintances as the De Courcys, but he should like, if possible, +to maintain a friendship with Lady Alexandrina. What a friend Lady +Alexandrina would be for Lily, if any such friendship were only +possible! What an advantage would such an alliance confer upon that +dear little girl-for, after all, though the dear little girl's +attractions were very great, he could not but admit to himself that she +wanted a something-a way of holding herself and of speaking, which some +people call style. Lily might certainly learn a great deal from Lady +Alexandrina; and it was this conviction, no doubt, which made him so +sedulous in pleasing that lady on the present occasion. + +And she, as it seemed, was well inclined to be pleased. She said no +word to him during dinner about Lily; and yet she spoke about the +Dales, and about Allington, showing that she knew in what quarters he +had been staying, and then she alluded to their last parties in +London-those occasions on which, as Crosbie now remembered, the +intercourse between them had almost been tender. It was manifest to him +that at any rate she did not wish to quarrel with him. It was manifest, +also, that she had some little hesitation in speaking to him about his +engagement. He did not for the moment doubt that she was aware of it. +And in this way matters went on between them till the ladies left the +room. + +"So you're going to be married, too," said the Honourable George, by +whose side Crosbie found himself seated when the ladies were gone. +Crosbie was employing himself upon a walnut, and did not find it +necessary to make any answer. + +"It's the best thing a fellow can do," continued George; "that is, if +he has been careful to look to the main chance-if he hasn't been caught +napping, you know. It doesn't do for a man to go hanging on by nothing +till he finds himself an old man." + +"You've feathered your own nest, at any rate." + +"Yes; I've got something in the scramble, and I mean to keep it. Where +will John be when the governor goes off the hooks? Porlock wouldn't +give him a bit of bread and cheese and a glass of beer to save his +life-that is to say, not if he wanted it." + +"I'm told your elder brother is going to be married." + +"You've heard that from John. He's spreading that about everywhere to +take a rise out of me. I don't believe a word of it. Porlock never was +a marrying man-and, what's more, from all I hear, I don't think he'll +live long." + +In this way Crosbie escaped from his own difficulty; and when he rose +from the dinner-table had not as yet been driven to confess anything to +his own discredit. + +But the evening was not yet over. When he returned to the drawing-room +he endeavoured to avoid any conversation with the countess herself, +believing that the attack would more probably come from her than from +her daughter. He, therefore, got into conversation first with one and +then with another of the girls, till at last he found himself again +alone with Alexandrina. + +"Mr Crosbie," she said, in a low voice, as they were standing together +over one of the distant tables, with their backs to the rest of the +company, "I want you to tell me something about Miss Lilian Dale." + +"About Miss Lilian Dale!" he said, repeating her words. + +"Is she very pretty? + +"Yes she certainly is pretty." + +"And very nice, and attractive, and clever-and all that is delightful? +Is she perfect? + +"She is very attractive," said he; "but I don't think she's perfect." + +"And what are her faults? +"That question is hardly fair, is it? Suppose any one were to ask me +what were your faults, do you think I should answer the question? + +"I am quite sure you would, and make a very long list of them, too. But +as to Miss Dale, you ought to think her perfect. If a gentleman were +engaged to me, I should expect him to swear before all the world that I +was the very pink of perfection." + +"But supposing the gentleman were not engaged to you? + +"That would be a different thing." + +"I am not engaged to you," said Crosbie. "Such happiness and such +honour are, I fear, very far beyond my reach. But, nevertheless, I am +prepared to testify as to your perfection anywhere." + +"And what would Miss Dale say?" + +"Allow me to assure you that such opinions as I may choose to express +of my friends will be my own opinions, and not depend on those of any +one else." + +"And you think, then, that you are not bound to be enslaved as yet? How +many more months of such freedom are you to enjoy? + +Crosbie remained silent for a minute before he answered, and then he +spoke in a serious voice." Lady Alexandrina," said he, "I would beg +from you a great favour." + +"What is the favour, Mr Crosbie? + +"I am quite in earnest. Will you be good enough, kind enough, enough my +friend, not to connect my name again with that of Miss Dale while I am +here? + +"Has there been a quarrel? + +"No; there has been no quarrel. I cannot explain to you now why I make +this request; but to you I will explain it before I go." + +"Explain it to me!!" + +"I have regarded you as more than an acquaintance-as a friend. In days +now past there were moments when I was almost rash enough to hope that +I might have said even more than that. I confess that I had no warrant +for such hopes, but I believe that I may still look on you!! as a +friend? + +"Oh, yes, certainly," said Alexandrina, in a very low voice, and with a +certain amount of tenderness in her tone. "I have always regarded you +as a friend." + +"And therefore I venture to make the request! The subject is not one on +which I can speak openly, without regret, at the present moment. But to +you, at least, I promise that I will explain it all before I leave +Courcy." + +He at any rate succeeded in mystifying Lady Alexandrina. "I don't +believe he is engaged a bit," she said to Lady Amelia Gazebee that +night. + +"Nonsense, my dear. Lady Julia wouldn't speak of it in that certain way +if she didn't know. Of course he doesn't wish to have it talked about." + +"If ever he has been engaged to her, he has broken it off again," said +Lady Alexandrina. + +"I dare say he will, my dear, if you give him encouragement" said the +married sister, with great sisterly good-nature. + +CHAPTER XVIII + +LILY DALE'S FIRST LOVE-LETTER + + +Crosbie was rather proud of himself when he went to bed. He had +succeeded in baffling the charge made against him, without saying +anything as to which his conscience need condemn him. So, at least, he +then told himself!. The impression left by what he had said would be! +that there had been some question of an engagement between him and! +Lilian Dale, but that nothing at this moment was absolutely fluted. But +in the morning his conscience was not quite so clear. What would Lily +think and say if she knew it all? Could he dare to tell her, or to tell +any one the real state of his mind? + +As he lay in bed, knowing that an hour remained to him before he need +encounter the perils of his tub, he felt that he hated Courcy Castle +and its inmates. Who was there, among them all, that was comparable to +Mrs Dale and her daughters? He detested both George and John. He +loathed the earl. As to the countess herself, he was perfectly +indifferent, regarding her as a woman whom it was well to know, but as +one only to be known as the mistress of Courcy Castle and a house in +London. As to the daughters, he had ridiculed them all from time to +time-even Alexandrina, whom he now professed to love. Perhaps in some +sort of way he had a weak fondness for her-but it was a fondness that +had never touched his heart. He could measure the whole thing at its +worth-Courcy Castle with its privileges, Lady Dumbello, Lady +Clandidlem, and the whole of it. He knew that he had been happier on +that lawn at Allington, and more contented with himself, than ever he +had been even under Lady Hartletop's splendid roof in Shropshire. Lady +Dumbello was satisfied with these things!, even in the inmost recesses +of her soul; but he was not a male Lady Dumbello. He knew that there +was something better, and that that something was within his reach. + +But, nevertheless, the air of Courcy was too much for him. In arguing +the matter wit himself he regarded himself as one infected with a +leprosy from which there could be no recovery, and who should, +therefore, make his whole life suitable to the circumstances of that +leprosy. It was of no use for him to tell himself that the Small House +at Allington was better than Courcy Castle. Satan knew that heaven was +better than hell; but he felt himself to be fitter for the latter +place. Crosbie ridiculed Lady Dumbello, even there among her friends, +with all the cutting words that his wit could find; but, nevertheless, +the privilege of staying in the same house with her was dear to him. It +was the line of life into which he had fallen, and he confessed +inwardly that the struggle to extricate himself would be too much for +him. All that had troubled him while he was yet at Allington, but it +overwhelmed him almost with dismay beneath the hangings of Courcy +Castle. + +Had he not better run from the place at once? He had almost +acknowledged to himself that he! repented his engagement with Lilian +Dale, but he still was resolved that he would fulfil it. He was bound +in honour to marry "that little girl," and he looked sternly up at the +drapery over his head, as he assured himself that he was a man of +honour. Yes; he would sacrifice himself. As he had been induced! to +pledge his word, he would not go back from it. He was too much of a man +for that! + +But had he not been wrong to refuse the result of Lily's wisdom when +she told him in the field that it would be better for them to part? He +did not tell himself that he had refused her offer merely because he +had not the courage to accept it on the spur of the moment. No. "He had +been too good to the poor girl to take her at her word." It was thus he +argued on the matter within his own breast. He had been too true to +her; and now the effect would be that they would both be unhappy for +life! He could not live in content with a family upon a small income. +He was well aware of that. No one could be harder upon him in that +matter than was he himself. But it was too late now to remedy the ill +effects of an early education. + +It was thus that he debated the matter as he lay in bed-contradicting +one argument by another over and over again; but still in all of them +teaching himself to think that this engagement of his was a misfortune. +Poor Lily! Her last words to him had conveyed an assurance that she +would never distrust him. And she also, as she lay wakeful in her bed +on this the first morning of his absence, thought much of their mutual +vows. How true she would be to them! How she would be his wife with all +her heart and spirit! It was not only that she would love him-but in +her love she would serve him to her utmost; serve him as regarded this +world, and if possible as regarded the next. + +"Bell," she said, "I wish you were going to he married too." + +"Thank'ye, dear," said Bell," Perhaps I shall some day." + +"Ah; but I'm not joking. It seems such a serious thing. And I can't +expect you to talk to me about it now as you would if you were in the +same position yourself. Do you think I shall make him happy?" + +"Yes, I do, certainly." + +"Happier than he would be with any one else that he might meet? I dare +not think that. I think I could give him up tomorrow, if I could see +any one that would suit him better." What would Lily have said had she +been made acquainted with all the fascinations of Lady Alexandrina de +Courcy? + +The countess was very civil to him, saying nothing about his +engagement, but still talking to him a good deal about his sojourn at +Allington. Crosbie was a pleasant man for ladies in a large house. +Though a sportsman, he was not so keen a sportsman as to be always out +with the gamekeepers. Though a politician, he did not sacrifice his +mornings to the perusal of blue-books or the preparation of party +tactics. Though a reading man, he did not devote himself to study. +Though a horseman, he was not often to be found in the stables. He +could supply conversation when it was wanted, and could take himself +out of the way when his presence among the women was not needed. +Between breakfast and lunch on the day following his arrival he talked +a good deal to the countess, and made himself very agreeable. She +continued to ridicule him gently for his prolonged stay among so +primitive and rural a tribe of people as the Dales, and he bore her +little sarcasm with the utmost good-humour. + +"Six weeks at Allington without a move! Why, Mr Crosbie, you must have +felt yourself to be growing there." + +"So I did-like an ancient tree. Indeed, I was so rooted that I could +hardly get away." + +"Was the house full of people all the time?" + +"There was nobody there but Bernard Dale, Lady Julia's nephew." +"Quite a case of Damon and Pythias. Fancy your going down to the shades +of Allington to enjoy the uninterrupted pleasures of friendship for six +weeks." + +"Friendship and the partridges." + +"There was nothing else, then?" + +"Indeed there was. There was a widow with two very nice daughters, +living, not exactly in the same house, but on the same grounds." + +"Oh, indeed. That makes such a difference; doesn't it? You are not a +man to bear much privation on the score of partridges, nor a great +deal, I imagine, for friendship. But when you talk of pretty girls-" + +"It makes a difference, doesn't it? + +"A very great difference. I think I have heard of that Mrs Dale before. +And so her girls are nice? + +"Very nice indeed." + +"Play croquet, I suppose, and eat syllabubs on the lawn? But, really, +didn't you get very tired of it? + +"Oh dear, no. I was happy as the day was long." + +"Going about with a crook, I suppose?" + +"Not exactly a live crook; but doing all that kind of thing. I learned +a great deal about pigs." + +"Under the guidance of Miss Dale?" + +"Yes; under the guidance of Miss Dale." + +"I'm sure one is very much obliged to you for tearing yourself away +from such charms, and coming to such unromantic people as we are. !But +I fancy men always do that sort of thing once or twice in their +lives-and then they talk of their souvenirs. I suppose it won't go +beyond a souvenir with you." + +This was a direct question, but still admitted of a fencing answer. "It +has, at any rate, given me one," said he," which will last me my life!" + +The countess was quite contented. That Lady Julia's statement was +altogether true she had never for a moment doubted. That Crosbie should +become engaged to a young lady in the country, whereas he had shown +signs of being in love with her daughter in London, was not at all +wonderful. Nor, in her eyes, did such practice amount to any great sin. +Men did so daily, and girls were prepared for their so doing. A man in +her eyes was not to be regarded as safe from attack because he was +engaged. Let the young lady who took upon herself to own him have an +eye to that. When she looked back on the past careers of her own flock, +she had to reckon more than one such disappointment for her own +daughters. Others besides Alexandrina had been so treated. Lady de +Courcy had had her grand hopes respecting her girls, and after them +moderate hopes, and again after them bitter disappointments. Only one +had been married, and she was married to an attorney. It was not to be +supposed that she would have any very high-toned feelings as to Lily's +rights in this matter. + +Such a man as Crosbie was certainly no great match for an earl's +daughter. Such a marriage, indeed, would, one may say, be but a poor +triumph. When the countess, during the last season in town, had +observed how matters were going with Alexandrina, she had cautioned her +child, taking her to task for her imprudence. But the child had been at +this work for fourteen years, and was weary of it. Her sisters had been +at the work longer, and had almost given it up in despair. Alexandrina +did not tell her parent that her heart was now beyond her control, and +that she had devoted herself to Crosbie for ever; but she pouted, +saying that she knew very well what she was about, scolding her mother +in return, and making Lady de Courcy perceive that the struggle was +becoming very weary. And then there were other considerations. Mr +Crosbie had not much certainly in his own possession, but he was a man +out of whom something might be made by family influence and his own +standing. He was not a hopeless, ponderous man, whom no leaven could +raise. He was one of whose position in' society the countess and her +daughters need not be ashamed. Lady de Courcy had given no expressed +consent to the arrangement, but it had come to be understood between +her and her daughter that the scheme was to be entertained as +admissible. + +Then came these tidings of the little girl down at Allington. She felt +no anger against Crosbie. To be angry on such a subject would be +futile, foolish, and almost indecorous. It was a part of the game which +was as natural to her as fielding is to a cricketer. One cannot have it +all winnings at any game. Whether Crosbie should eventually become her +own son-in-law or not it came to her naturally, as a part of her duty +in life, to howl down the stumps of that young lady at Allington. If +Miss Dale knew the game well and could protect her own wicket, let her +do so. + +She had no doubt as to Crosbie's engagement with Lilian Dale, but she +had as little as to his being ashamed of that engagement. Had he really +cared for Miss Dale he would not have left her to come to Courcy +Castle. Had he been really resolved to marry her, he would not have +warded all questions respecting his engagement with fictitious answers. +He had amused himself with Lily Dale, and it was to be hoped' that the +young lady had not thought very seriously about it. That was the most +charitable light in which Lady de Courcy was disposed to regard the +question. + +It behoved Crosbie to write to Lily Dale before dinner. He had promised +to do so immediately on his arrival, and he was aware that he would be +regarded as being already one day beyond his promise. Lily had told him +that she would live upon his letters, and it was absolutely necessary +that he should furnish her with her first meal. So he betook himself to +his room in sufficient time before dinner, and got out his pen, ink, +and paper. + +He got out his pen, ink, and paper, and then he found that his +difficulties were beginning. I beg that it may be understood that +Crosbie was not altogether a villain. He could not sit down and write a +letter as coming from his heart, of which as he wrote it he knew the +words to be false, He was an ungenerous, worldly, inconstant man, very +prone to think well of himself, and to give himself credit for virtues +which he did not possess; but he could not be false with premeditated +cruelty to a woman he had sworn to love. He could not write an +affectionate, warm-hearted letter to Lily, without bringing himself, at +any rate for the time, to feel towards her in an affectionate, +warmhearted way. Therefore he now sat himself to work, while his pen +yet remained dry in his hand, to remodel his thoughts, which had been +turned against Lily and Allington by the craft of Lady de Courcy. It +takes some time before a man can do this. He has to struggle with +himself in a very uncomfortable way, making efforts which are often +unsuccessful. It is sometimes easier to lift a couple of hundredweights +than to raise a few thoughts in one's mind which at other moments will +come galloping in without a whistle, + +He had just written the date of his letter when a little tap came at +his door, and it was opened. + +"I say, Crosbie," said the Honourable John, "didn't you say something +yesterday about a cigar before dinner? + +"Not a word," said Crosbie, in rather an angry tone. + +"Then it must have been me," said John." But bring your case with you, +and come down to the harness-room, if you won't smoke here. I've had a +regular little snuggery fitted up there; and we can go in and see the +fellows making up the horses." + +Crosbie wished the Honourable John at the mischief. + +"I have letters to write," said he. "Besides, I never smoke before +dinner." + +"That's nonsense. I've smoked hundreds of cigars with you before +dinner. Are you going to turn curmudgeon, too, like George and the rest +of them? I don't know what's coming to the world! I suppose the fact +is, that little girl at Allington won't let you smoke." + +"The little girl at Allington-" began Crosbie; and then he reflected +that it would not be well for him to say anything to his present +companion about that little girl. + +"I'll tell you what it is," said he. + +"I really have got letters to write which must go by this post. There's +my cigar-case on the dressing-table." + +"I hope it will be long before I'm brought to such a state," said John, +taking up the cigars in his hand. + +"Let me have the case back," said Crosbie. + +"A present from the little girl, I suppose?" said John. + +"All right, old fellow! you shall have it." + +"There would be a nice brother-in-law for a man," said Crosbie to +himself, as the door closed behind the retreating scion of the De +Courcy family. And then, again, he took up his pen. The letter must be +written, and therefore he threw himself upon the table, resolved that +the words should come and the paper be filled. + + COURCY CASTLE, October, 186-. + +DEAREST LILY-This is the first letter I ever wrote to you, except those +little notes when I sent you my compliments discreetly-and it sounds so +odd. You will think that this does not come as soon as it should; but +the truth is that after all I only got in here just before dinner +yesterday. I stayed ever so long at Barchester, and came across such a +queer character. For you most know I went to church, and afterwards +fraternised with the clergyman who did the service; such a gentle old +soul-and, singularly enough, he is the grandfather of Lady Dumbello, +who is staying here. I wonder what you'd think of Lady Dumbello, or how +you'd like to be shut up in the same house with her for a week? + +But with reference to my staying at Barchester, I most tell you the +truth now, though I was a gross impostor the day that I went away. I +wanted to avoid a parting on that last morning, and therefore I started +much sooner than I need have done. I know you will be very angry with +me; hot open confession is good for the soul. You frustrated all my +little plan by your early rising; and as I saw you standing on the +terrace, looking after us as we went, I acknowledged that you had been +right, and that I was wrong. When the time came, I was very glad to +have you with me at the last moment. + +My own dearest Lily, you cannot think how different this place is from +the two houses at Allington, or how much I prefer the sort of life +which belongs to the latter. I know that I have been what the world +calls worldly, but you will have to cure me of that. I have questioned +myself very much since I left you, and I do not think that I am quite +beyond the reach of a cure. At any rate, I will put myself trustingly +into the doctor's hands. I know it is hard for a man to change his +habits; but I can with truth say this for myself, that I was happy at +Allington, enjoying every hour of the day, and that here I am ennuy by +everybody and nearly by everything. One of the girls of the house I do +like; but as to other people, I can hardly find a companion among them, +let alone a friend. However, it would not have done for me to have +broken away from all such alliance too suddenly. + +When I get up to London-and now I really am anxious to get there-I can +write to you more at my ease, and more freely than I do here. I know +that I am hardly myself among these people-or rather, I am hardly +myself as you know me, and as I hope you always will know me. But, +nevertheless, I am not so overcome by the miasma but what I can tell +you hew truly I love you. Even though my spirit should be here. which +it is not, my heart would be on the Allington lawns. That dear lawn and +that dear bridge! + +Give my kind love to Bell and your mother. I feel already that I might +almost say my mother. And Lily, my darling, write to me at once. I +expect your letters to me to be longer, and better, and brighter than +mine to you. But I will endeavour to make mine nicer when I get back to +town. + +God bless you. + +Yours, with all my heart, + +A. C. + +As he waxed warm with his writing he had forced himself to be +affectionate, and, as he flattered himself, frank and candid. +Nevertheless, he was partly conscious that he was preparing for himself +a mode of escape in those allusions of his to his own worldliness; if +escape should ultimately be necessary. "I have tried," he would then +say; "I have struggled honestly, with my best efforts for success; but +I am not good enough for such success." I do not intend to say that he +wrote with a premeditated intention of thus using his words; but as he +wrote them he could not keep himself from reflecting that they might be +used in that way. + +He read his letter over, felt satisfied with it, and resolved that he +might now free his mind from that consideration for the next +forty-eight hours. Whatever might he his sins he had done his duty by +Lily! And with this comfortable reflection he deposited his letter in +the Courcy Castle letter-box. + +CHAPTER XIX + +THE SQUIRE MAKES A VISIT TO THE SMALL HOUSE + + +Mrs Dale acknowledged to herself that she had not much ground for +hoping that she should ever find in Crosbie's house much personal +happiness for her future life. She did not dislike Mr Crosbie, nor in +any great degree mistrust him; but she had seen enough of him to make +her certain that Lily's future home in London could not be a home for +her. He was worldly, or, at least, a man of the world. He would be +anxious to make the most of his income, and his life would be one long +struggle, not perhaps for money, but for those things which money only +can give. There are men to whom eight hundred a year is great wealth, +and houses to which it brings all the comforts that life requires. But +Crosbie was not such a man, nor would his house be such a house. Mrs +Dale hoped that Lily would be happy with him, and satisfied with his +modes of life, and she strove to believe that such would be the case; +but as regarded herself she was forced to confess that in such a +marriage her child would be much divided from her. That pleasant abode +to which she had long looked forward that she might have a welcome +there in coming years should be among fields and trees, not in some +narrow London street. Lily must now become a city lady; but Bell would +still be left to her, and it might still be hoped that Bell would find +for herself some country home. + +Since the day on which Lily had first told her mother of her +engagement, Mrs Dale had found herself talking much more fully and more +frequently with Bell than with her younger daughter. As long as Crosbie +was at Allington this was natural enough. He and Lily were of course +together, while Bell remained with her mother. But the same state of +things continued even after Crosbie was gone. It was not that there was +any coolness or want of affection between the mother and daughter, but +that Lily's heart was full of her lover, and that Mrs Dale, though she +had given her cordial consent to the marriage, felt that she had but +few points of sympathy with her future son-in-law. She had never said, +even to herself, that she disliked him; nay, she had sometimes declared +to herself that she was fond of him. But, in truth, he was not a man +after her own heart. He was not one who could ever be to her as her own +son and her own child. + +But she and Bell would pass hours together talking of Lily's +prospects." It seems strange to me," said Mrs Dale," that she of all +girls should have been fancied by such a man as Mr Crosbie, or that she +should have liked him. I cannot imagine Lily living in London." + +"If he is good and affectionate to her she will be happy wherever he +is," said Bell. + +"I hope so-I'm sure I hope so. But it seems as though she will be so +far separated from us. It is not the distance, but the manner of life +which makes the separation. I hope you'll never be taken so far from +me." + +"I don't think I shall allow myself to be taken up to London," said +Bell, laughing. "But one can never tell. If I do you must follow us, +mamma." + +"I do not want another Mr Crosbie for you, dear." + +"But perhaps I may want one for myself. You need not tremble quite yet, +however. Apollos do not come this road every day." + +"Poor Lily! Do you remember when she first called him Apollo? I do, +well. I remember his corning here the day after Bernard brought him +down, and how you were playing on the lawn, while I was in the other +garden. I little thought then what it would come to." + +"But, mamma, you don't regret it?" + +"Not if it's to make her happy. If she can be happy with him, of course +I shall not regret it; not though he were to take her to the world's +end away from us. What else have I to look for but that she and you +should both be happy?" + +"Men in London are happy with their wives as well as men in the +country." + +"Oh, yes; of all women I should be the first to acknowledge that." + +"And as to Adolphus himself, I do not know why we should distrust him." + +"No, my dear; there is no reason. If I did distrust him I should not +have given so ready an assent to the marriage. But, nevertheless-" + +"The truth is, you don't like him, mamma." + +"Not so cordially as I hope I may like any man whom you. may choose for +your husband." + +And Lily, though she said nothing on the subject to Mrs Dale felt that +her mother was in some degree estranged from her Crosbie's name was +frequently mentioned between them, but in the tone of Mrs Dale's voice, +and in her manner when she spoke of him, there was lacking that +enthusiasm and heartiness which real sympathy would have produced. Lily +did not analyse her own feelings, or closely make inquiry as to those +of her mother, but she perceived that it was not all as she would have +wished it to have been. "I know mamma does not love him," she said to +Bell on the evening of the day on which she received Crosbie's first +letter. + +"Not as you do, Lily; but she does love him." + +"Not as I do! To say that is nonsense, Bell; of course she does not +love him as I do. But the truth is she does not love him at all. Do you +think I cannot see it?" + +"I'm afraid that you see too much." + +"She never says a word against him; but if she really liked him she +would sometimes say a word in his favour. I do no think she would ever +mention his name unless you or I spoke to him before her. If she did +not approve of him, why did she no say so sooner? + +"That's hardly fair upon mamma," said Bell, with some earnestness. "She +does not disapprove of him, and she never did. You know mamma well +enough to be sure that she would not interfere with as in such a matter +without very strong reason. As regards Mr Crosbie, she gave her consent +without a moment's hesitation." + +"Yes, she did." + +"How can you say, then, that she disapproves of him?" +"I didn't mean to find fault with mamma. Perhaps it will come all +right." + +"It will come all, right." But Bell, though she made this very +satisfactory promise, was as well aware as either of the others that +the family would be divided when Crosbie should have married Lily and +taken her off to London. + +On the following morning Mrs Dale and Bell were sitting together. Lily +was above in her own room, either writing to her lover, or reading his +letter, or thinking of him, or working for him. In some way she was +employed on his behalf, and with this object she was alone. It was now +the middle of October, and the fire was lit in Mrs Dale's drawing-room. +The window which opened upon the lawn was closed, the heavy curtains +had been put back in their places, and it had been acknowledged as an +unwelcome fact that the last of the summer was over. This was always a +sorrow to Mrs Dale; but it is one of those sorrows which hardly admit +of open expression. + +"Bell," she said, looking up suddenly; "there's your uncle at the +window. Let him in." For now, since the putting up of the curtains, the +window had been bolted as well as closed. So Bell got up, and opened a +passage for the squire's entrance. It was not often that he came down +in this way, and when he did do so it was generally for some purpose +which had been expressed before. + +"What! fires already?" said he. "I never have fires at the other house +in the morning till the first of November. I like to see a spark in the +grate after dinner." + +"I like a fire when I'm cold," said Mrs Dale. But this was a subject on +which the squire and his sister-in-law had differed before, and as Mr +Dale had some business in hand, he did not now choose to waste his +energy in supporting his own views on the question of fires. + +"Bell, my dear," said he, "I want to speak to your mother for a minute +or two on a matter of business. You wouldn't mind leaving us for a +little while, would you?" Whereupon Bell collected up her work and went +upstairs to her sister. Uncle Christopher is below with mamma," said +she, "talking about business. I suppose it is something to do with your +marriage." But Bell was wrong. The squire's visit had no reference to +Lily's marriage. + +Mrs Dale did not move or speak a word when Bell was gone, though it was +evident that the squire paused in order that she might ask some +question of him. "Mary," said he, at last, "I'll tell you what it is +that I have come to say to you." Whereupon she put the piece of +needlework which was in her hands down upon the work-basket before her, +and settled herself to listen to him. + +"I wish to speak to you about Bell." + +"About Bell?" said Mrs Dale, as though much surprised that he should +have anything to say to her respecting her eldest daughter. + +"Yes, about Bell. Here's Lily going to be married, and it will be well +that Bell should be married too." + +"I don't see that at all," said Mrs Dale. "I am by no means in a hurry +to be rid of her." + +"No, I dare say not. But, of course, you only regard her welfare, and I +can truly say that I do the same. There would be no necessity for hurry +as to a marriage for her under ordinary circumstances, but there may be +circumstances to make such a thing desirable, and I think that there +are." It was evident from the squire's tone and manner that he was very +much in earnest; but it was also evident that he found some difficulty +in opening out the budget with which he had prepared himself. He +hesitated a little in his voice, and seemed to be almost nervous. Mrs +Dale, with some little spice of ill-nature, altogether abstained from +assisting him. She was jealous of interference from him about her +girls, and though she was of course bound to listen to him, she did so +with a prejudice against and almost with a resolve to oppose anything +that he might say. When he had finished his little speech about +circumstances, the squire paused again; but Mrs Dale still sat silent, +with her eyes fixed upon his face. + +"I love your children very dearly;' said he, "though I believe you +hardly give me credit for doing so." + +"I am sure you do," said Mrs Dale, "and they are both well aware of it." + +"And I am very anxious that they should be comfortably established in +life. I have no children of my own, and those of my two brothers are +everything to me." + +Mrs Dale had always considered it as a matter of course that Bernard +should be the squire's heir, and had never felt that her daughters had +any claim on that score. It was a well-understood thing in the family +that the senior male Dale should have all the Dale property and all the +Dale money. She fully recognised even the propriety of such an +arrangement. But it seemed to her that the squire was almost guilty of +hypocrisy in naming his nephew and his two nieces together, as though +they were the joint heirs of his love. Bernard was his adopted son, and +no one had begrudged to the uncle the right of making such adoption. +Bernard was everything to him, and as being his heir was bound to obey +him in many things. But her daughters were no more to him than any +nieces might be to any uncle. He had nothing to do with their disposal +in marriage; and the mother's spirit was already up in arms and +prepared to do battle for her own independence, and for that of her +children. "If Bernard would marry well," said she, "I have no doubt it +would be a comfort to you,"-meaning to imply thereby that the squire +had no right to trouble himself about any other marriage. + +"That's just it," said the squire. "It would be a great comfort to me. +And if he and Bell could make up their minds together, it would, I +should think, be a great comfort to you also." + +"Bernard and Bell!" exclaimed Mrs Dale. No idea of such a union had +ever yet come upon her, and now in her surprise she sat silent. She had +always liked Bernard Dale, having felt for him more family affection +than for any other of the Dale family beyond her own hearth. He had +been very intimate in her house, having made himself almost as a +brother to her girls. But she had never thought of him as a husband for +either of them. + +"Then Bell has not spoken to you about it," said the squire. + +"Never a word." + +"And you had never thought about it?" + +"Certainly not." + +"I have thought about it a great deal. For some years I have always +been thinking of it. I have set my heart upon it, and shall be very +unhappy if it cannot be brought about. They are both very dear to +me-dearer than anybody else. If I could see them man and wife, I should +not much care then how soon I left the old place to them." + +There was a purer touch of feeling in this than the squire had ever +before shown in his sister-in-law's presence, and more heartiness than +she had given him the credit of possessing. And she could not but +acknowledge to herself that her own child was included in this +unexpected warmth of love, and that she was bound at any rate to +entertain some gratitude for such kindness. + +"It is good of you to think of her," said the mother;" very good." + +"I think a great deal about her," said the squire." But that does not +much matter now. The fact is, that she has declined Bernard's offer." + +"Has Bernard offered to her?" + +"So he tells me; and she has refused him. It may perhaps be natural +that she should do so, never having taught herself to look at him in +the light of a lover. I don't blame her at all. I am not angry with +her." + +"Angry with her! No. You can hardly be angry with her for not being in +love with her cousin." + +"I say that I am not angry with her. But I think she might undertake to +consider the question. You would like such a match, would you not?" + +Mrs Dale did not at first make any answer, but began to revolve the +thing in her mind, and to look at it in various points of view. There +was a great deal in such an arrangement which at the first sight +recommended it to her very strongly. All the local circumstances were +in its favour. As regarded herself it would promise to her all that she +had ever desired. It would give her a prospect of seeing very much of +Lily; for if Bell were settled at the old family house, Crosbie would +naturally be much with his friend. She liked Bernard also; and for a +moment or two fancied, as she turned it all over in her mind, that, +even yet, if such a marriage were to take place, there might grow up +something like true regard between her and the old squire. How happy +would be her old age in that Small House, if Bell with her children +were living so close to her! + +"Well?" said the squire, who was looking very intently into her face. + +"I was thinking," said Mrs Dale. "Do you say that she has already +refused him?" + +"I am afraid she has; but then you know-" + +"It must of course be left for her to judge." + +"If you mean that she cannot be made to marry her cousin, of course we +all know she can't." + +"I mean rather more than that." + +"What do you mean, then? + +"That the matter must be left altogether to her own decision; that no +persuasion must be used by you or me. If he can persuade her, indeed-" +"Yes, exactly. He must persuade her. I quite agree with you that he +should have liberty to plead his own cause. But look you here, Mary-she +has always been a very good child to you-" + +"Indeed she has." + +"And a word from you would go a long way with her-as it ought. If she +knows that you would like her to marry her cousin, it will make her +think it her duty-" + +"Ah I but that is just what I cannot try to make her think." + +"Will you let me speak, Mary? You take me up and scold me before the +words are half out of my mouth. Of course I know that in these days a +young lady is not to be compelled into marrying anybody-not but that, +as far as I can see, they did better than they do now when they had not +quite so much of their own way." + +"I never would take upon myself to ask a child to marry any man." + +"But you may explain to her that it is her duty to give such a proposal +much thought before it is absolutely refused. A girl either is in love +or she is not. If she is, she is ready to jump down a man's throat; and +that was the case with Lily." + +"She never thought of the man till he had proposed to her fully." + +"Well, never mind now. But if a girl is not in love, she thinks she is +bound to swear and declare that she never will be so." + +"I don't think Bell ever declared anything of the kind." + +"Yes, she did. She told Bernard that she didn't love him and couldn't +love him-and, in fact, that she wouldn't think anything more about it. +Now, Mary, that's what I call being headstrong and positive. I don't +want to drive her, and I don't want you to drive her. But here is an +arrangement which for her will be a very good one; you must admit that. +We all know that she is on excellent terms with Bernard. It isn't as +though they had been falling out and hating each other all their lives. +She told him that she was very fond of him, and talked nonsense about +being his sister, and all that." + +"I don't see that it was nonsense at all." + +"Yes, it was nonsense-on such an occasion. If a man asks a girl to +marry him, he doesn't want her to talk to him about being his sister. I +think it is nonsense. If she would only consider about it properly she +would soon learn to love him." + +"That lesson, if it be learned at all, must be learned without any +tutor." + +"You won't do anything to help me then?" + +"I will, at any rate, do nothing to mar you. And, to tell the truth, I +must think over the matter fully before I can decide what I had better +say to Bell about it. From her not speaking to me-" + +"I think she ought to have told you." +"No, Mr Dale. Had she accepted him, of course she would have told me. +Had she thought of doing so she might probably have consulted me. But +if she made up her mind that she must reject him-" + +"She oughtn't to have made up her mind." + +"But if she did, it seems natural to me that she should speak of it to +no one. She might probably think that. Bernard would be as well pleased +that it should not be known." + +"Psha-known!-of course it will be known. As you want time to consider +of it, I will say nothing more now. If she were my daughter, I should +have no hesitation in telling her what I thought best for her welfare." + +"I have none; though I may have some in making up my mind as to what is +best for her welfare. But, Mr Dale, you may be sure of this; I will +speak to her very earnestly of your kindness and love for her. And I +wish you would believe that I feel your regard for her very strongly." + +In answer to this he merely shook his head, and hummed and hawed. "You +would be glad to see them married, as regards yourself?" he asked. + +"Certainly I would," said Mrs Dale. "I have always liked Bernard, and I +believe my girl would be safe with him. But then, you see, it's a +question on which my own likings or dislikings should not have any +bearing." + +And so they parted, the squire making his way back again through the +drawing-room window. He was not above half pleased with his interview; +but then he was a man for whom half-pleasure almost sufficed. He rarely +indulged any expectation that people would make themselves agreeable to +him. Mrs Dale, since she had come to the Small House, had never been a +source of satisfaction to him, but he did not on that account regret +that he had brought her there. He was a constant man; urgent in +carrying out his own plans, but not sanguine in doing so, and by no +means apt to expect that all things would go smooth with him. He had +made up his mind that his nephew and his niece should be married, and +should he ultimately fail in this, such failure would probably embitter +his future life-but it was not in the nature of the man to be angry in +the meantime, or to fume and scold because he met with opposition. He +had told Mrs Dale that he loved Bell dearly. So he did, though he +seldom spoke to her with much show of special regard, and never was +soft and tender with her. But, on the other hand, he did not now love +her the less because she opposed his wishes. He was a constant, +undemonstrative man, given rather to brooding than to thinking; harder +in his words than in his thoughts, with more of heart than others +believed, or than he himself knew; but, above all, he was a man who +having once desired a thing would desire it always. + +Mrs Dale, when she was left alone, began to turn over the question in +her mind in a much fuller manner than the squire's presence had as yet +made possible for her. Would not such a marriage as this be for them +all, the happiest domestic arrangement which circumstances could +afford? Her daughter would have no fortune, but here would be prepared +for her all the comforts which fortune can give. She would be received +into her uncle's house, not as some penniless, portionless bride whom +Bernard might have married and brought home, but as the wife whom of +all others Bernard's friends had thought desirable for him. And then, +as regarded Mrs Dale herself, there would be nothing in such a marriage +which would not be delightful to her. It would give a realisation to +alt her dreams of future happiness. +But, as she said to herself over and over again, all that must go for +nothing. It must be for Bell, and for her only, to answer Bernard's +question. In her mind there was something sacred in that idea of love. +She would regard her daughter almost as a castaway if she were to marry +any man without absolutely loving him-loving him as Lily loved her +lover, with all her heart and all her strength. + +With such a conviction as this strong upon her, she felt that she could +not say much to Bell that would be of any service. + +CHAPTER XX + +DR CROFTS + + +If there was anything in the world as to which Isabella Dale was quite +certain, it was this-that she was not in love with Dr Crofts. As to +being in love with her cousin Bernard, she had never had occasion to +ask herself any question on that head. She liked him very well, but she +had never thought of marrying him; and now, when he made his proposal, +she could not bring herself to think of it. But as regards Dr Crofts, +she had thought of it, and had make up her mind-in the manner above +described. + +It may be said that she could not have been justified in discussing the +matter even within her own bosom, unless authorised to do so by Dr +Crofts himself. Let it then be considered that Dr Crofts had given her +some such authority. This may be done in more ways than one; and Miss +Dale could not have found herself asking herself questions about him, +unless there had been fitting occasion for her to do so. + +The profession of a medical man in a small provincial town is not often +one which gives to its owner in early life a large income. Perhaps in +no career has a man to work harder for what he earns, or to do more +work without earning anything. It has sometimes seemed to me as though +the young doctors and the old doctors had agreed to divide between them +the different results of their profession-the young doctors doing all +the work and the old doctors taking all the money. If this be so it may +account for that appearance of premature gravity which is borne by so +many of the medical profession. Under such an arrangement a man may be +excused for a desire to put away childish things very early in life. + +Dr Crofts had now been practising in Guestwick nearly seven years, +having settled himself in that town when he was twenty-three years old, +and being at this period about thirty. During those seven years his +skill and industry had been so fully admitted that he had succeeded in +obtaining the medical care of all the paupers in the union, for which +work he was paid at the rate of one hundred pounds a year. He was also +assistant-surgeon at a small hospital which was maintained in that +town, and held two or three other similar public positions, all of +which attested his respectability and general proficiency. They, +moreover, thoroughly saved him from any of the dangers of idleness; +but, unfortunately, they did not enable him to regard himself as a +successful professional man. Whereas old Dr Gruffen, of whom but few +people spoke well, had made a fortune in Guestwick, and even still drew +from the ailments of the town a considerable and hardly yet decreasing +income. Now this was hard upon Dr Crofts-unless there was existing some +such well-understood arrangement as that above named. + +He had been known to the family of the Dales long previous to his +settlement at Guestwick, and had been very intimate with them from that +time to the present day. Of all the men, young or old, whom Mrs Dale +counted among her intimate friends, he was the one whom she most +trusted and admired. And he was a man to be trusted. by those who knew +him well. + +He was not bright and always ready, as was Crosbie, nor had he all the +practical worldly good sense of Bernard Dale. In mental power I doubt +whether he was superior to John Eames-to John Eames, such as he might +become when the period of his hobbledehoyhood should have altogether +passed away. But Crofts, compared with the other three, as they all +were at present, was a man more to be trusted than any of them. And +there was, moreover, about him an occasional dash of humour, without +which Mrs Dale would hardly have regarded him with that thorough liking +which she had for him. But it was a quiet humour, apt to show itself +when he had but one friend with him, rather than in general society. +Crosbie, on the other hand, would be much more bright among a dozen, +than he could with a single companion. Bernard Dale was never bright; +and as for Johnny Eames-but in this matter of brightness, Johnny Eames +had not yet shown to the world what his character might be. + +It was now two years since Crofts had been called upon for medical +advice on behalf of his friend Mrs Dale. She had then been ill for a +long period-some two or three months, and Dr Crofts had been frequent +in his visits at Allington. At that time he became very intimate with +Mrs Dale's daughters, and especially so with the eldest. Young +unmarried doctors ought perhaps to be excluded from homes in which +there are young ladies. I know, at any rate, that many sage matrons +hold very strongly to that opinion, thinking, no doubt, that doctors +ought to get themselves married before they venture to begin working +for a living. Mrs Dale, perhaps, regarded her own girls as still merely +children, for Bell, the elder, was then hardly eighteen; or perhaps she +held imprudent and heterodox opinions on this subject; or it may be +that she selfishly preferred Dr Crofts, with all the danger to her +children, to Dr Gruffen, with all the danger to herself. But the result +was that the young doctor one day informed himself, as he was riding +back to Guestwick, that much of his happiness in this world would +depend on his being able to marry Mrs Dale's eldest daughter. At that +time his total income amounted to little more than two hundred a year, +and he had resolved within his own mind that Dr Gruffen was esteemed as +much the better doctor by the general public opinion of Guestwick, and +that Dr Gruffen's sandy-haired assistant would even have a better +chance of success in the town than himself, should it ever come to pass +that the doctor was esteemed too old for personal practice. Crofts had +no fortune of his own, and he was aware that Miss Dale had none. Then, +under those circumstances, what was he to do? + +It is not necessary that we should inquire at any great length into +those love passages of the doctor's life which took place three years +before the commencement of this narrative. He made no declaration to +Bell; but Bell, young as she was, understood well that he would fain +have done so, had not his courage failed him, or rather had not his. +prudence prevented him. To Mrs Dale he did speak, not openly avowing +his love even to her, but hinting at it, and then talking to her of his +unsatisfied hopes and professional disappointments. + +"It is not that I complain of being poor as I am," said he "or at any +rate, not so poor that my poverty must be any source of discomfort to +me; but I could hardly marry with such an income as I have at present." + +"But it will increase, will it not?" said Mrs Dale. + +"It may some day, when I am becoming an old man," he said. "But of what +use will it be to me then? + +Mrs Dale could not tell him that, as far as her voice in the matter +went, he was welcome to woo her daughter and marry her, poor as he was, +and doubly poor as they would both be together on such a pittance. He +had not even mentioned Bell's name, and had he done so she could only +have bade him wait and hope. After that he said nothing further to her +upon the subject. To Bell he spoke no word of overt love; but on an +autumn day, when Mrs Dale was already convalescent, and the repetition +of his professional visits had become unnecessary, he got her to walk +with him through the half-hidden shrubbery paths, and then told her +things which he should never have told her, if he really wished to bind +her heart to his. He repeated that story of his income, and explained +to her that his poverty was only grievous to him in that it prevented +him from thinking of marriage. + +"I suppose it must," said Bell. + +"I should think it wrong to ask any lady to share such an income as +mine," said he. Whereupon Bell had suggested to him that some ladies +had incomes of their own, and that he might in that way get over the +difficulty. + +"I should be afraid of myself in marrying a girl with money," said he; +"besides, that is altogether out of the question now." Of course Bell +did not ask him why it was out of the question, and for a time they +went on walking in silence. + +"It is a hard thing to do," he then said-not looking at her, but +looking at the gravel on which he stood. + +"It is a hard thing to do, but I will determine to think of it no +further. I believe a man may be as happy single as he may +married-almost." + +"Perhaps more so," said Bell. Then the doctor left her, and Bell, as I +have said before, made up her mind with great firmness that she was not +in love with him. I may certainly say that there was nothing in the +world as to which she was so certain as she was of this. + +And now, in these days, Dr Crofts did not come over to Allington very +often. Had any of the family in the Small House been ill, he would have +been there of course. The squire himself employed the apothecary in the +village, or if higher aid was needed, would send for Dr Gruffen. On the +occasion of Mrs Dale's party, Crofts was there, having been specially +invited; but Mrs Dale's special invitations to her friends were very +few, and the doctor was well aware that he must himself make occasion +for going there if he desired to see the inmates of the house. But he +very rarely made such occasion, perhaps feeling that he was more in his +element at the workhouse and the hospital. + +Just at this time, however, he made one very great and unexpected step +towards success in his profession. He was greatly surprised one morning +by being summoned to the Manor House to attend upon Lord De Guest. The +family at the Manor had employed Dr Gruffen for the last thirty years, +and Crofts, when he received the earl's message, could hardly believe +the words. + +"The earl ain't very bad," said the servant, "but he would be glad to +see you if possible a little before dinner." + +"You're sure he wants to see me?" said Crofts. + +"Oh, yes; I'm sure enough of that, sir." + +"It wasn't Dr Gruffen? + +"No, sir; it wasn't Dr Gruffen. I believe his lordship's had about +enough of Dr Gruffen. The doctor took to chaffing his lordship one day." + +"Chaffed his lordship-his hands and feet, and that sort of thing? " +suggested the doctor. + +"Hands and feet!" said the man. + +"Lord bless you, sir, he poked his fun at him, just as though he was +nobody. I didn't hear, but Mrs Connor says that my lord's back was up +terribly high." And so Dr Crofts got on his horse and rode up to +Guestwick Manor. + +The earl was alone, Lady Julia having already gone to Courcy Castle. + +"How d'ye do, how d'ye do?" said the earl. + +"I'm not very ill, but I want to get a little advice from you. It's +quite a trifle, but I thought it well to see somebody." Whereupon Dr +Crofts of course declared that he was happy to wait upon his lordship. + +"I know all about you, you know," said the earl. + +"Your grandmother Stoddard was a very old friend of my aunt's. You +don't remember Lady Jemima?" + +"No," said Crofts. + +"I never had that honour." + +"An excellent old woman, and knew your grandmother Stoddard well. You +see, Gruffen has been attending us for I don't know how many years; but +upon my word" and then the earl stopped himself. + +"It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good," said Crofts, with a +slight laugh. + +"Perhaps it'll blow me some good, for Gruffen never did me any. The +fact is this; I'm very well, you know-as strong as a horse." + +"You look pretty well." + +"No man could be better-not of my age. I'm sixty, you know." + +"You don't look as though you were ailing." + +"I'm always out in the open air, and that, I take it, is the best thing +for a man." + +"There's nothing like plenty of exercise, certainly." + +"And I'm always taking exercise," said the earl. + +"There isn't a man about the place works much harder than I do. And, +let me tell you, sir, when you undertake to keep six or seven hundred +acres of land in your own hand, you must look after it, unless you mean +to lose money by it." + +"I've always heard that your lordship is a good farmer." + +"Well, yes; wherever the grass may grow about my place, it doesn't grow +under my feet. You won't often find me in bed at six o'clock, I can +tell you." + +After this Dr Crofts ventured to ask his lordship as to what special +physical deficiency his own aid was invoked at the present time. + +"Ah, I was just coming to that," said the earl. + +"They tell me it's a very dangerous practice to go to sleep after +dinner." + +"It's not very uncommon at any rate," said the doctor. + +"I suppose not; but Lady Julia is always at me about it. And, to tell +the truth, I think I sleep almost too sound when I get to my arm-chair +in the drawing-room. Sometimes my sister really can't wake me-so, at +least, she says." + +"And how's your appetite at dinner?" + +"Oh, I'm quite right there. I never eat any luncheon, you know, and +enjoy my dinner thoroughly. Then I drink three or four glasses of port +wine-" + +"And feel sleepy afterwards?" + +"That's just it," said the earl. + +It is not perhaps necessary that we should inquire what was the exact +nature of the doctor's advice; but it was, at any rate, given in such a +way that the earl said he would be glad to see him again. + +"And look here, Doctor Crofts, I'm all alone just at present. Suppose +you come over and dine with me tomorrow; then, if I should go to sleep, +you know, you'll be able to let me know whether Lady Julia doesn't +exaggerate. Just between ourselves, I don't quite believe all she says +about my-my snoring, you know." + +Whether it was that the earl restrained his appetite when at dinner +under the doctor's eyes, or whether the mid-day mutton chop which had +been ordered for him had the desired effect, or whether the doctor's +conversation was more lively than that of the Lady Julia, we will not +say; but the earl, on the evening in question, was triumphant. As he +sat in his easy-chair after dinner he hardly winked above once or +twice; and when he had taken the large bowl of tea, which he usually +swallowed in a semi-somnolent condition, he was quite lively. + +"Ah, yes," he said, jumping up and rubbing his eyes; "I think I do feel +lighter. I enjoy a snooze after dinner; I do indeed; I like it; but +then, when one comes to go to bed, one does it in such a sneaking sort +of way, as though one were in disgrace! And my sister, she thinks it a +crime-literally a sin, to go to sleep in a chair. Nobody ever caught +her napping! By-the-by, Dr Crofts, did you know that Mr Crosbie whom +Bernard Dale brought down to Allington? Lady Julia and he are staying +at the same house now." + +"I met him once at Mrs Dale's." + +"Going to marry one of the girls, isn't he? + +Whereupon Dr Crofts explained that Mr Crosbie was engaged to Lilian +Dale. + +"Ah, yes; a nice girl I'm told. You know all those Dales are +connections of ours. My sister Fanny married their uncle Orlando. My +brother-it-law doesn't like travelling, and so I don't see very much of +him; but of course I'm interested about the family." + +"They're very old friends of mine," said Crafts. + +"Yes, I dare say. There are two girls, are there not?" + +"Yes, two." + +"And Miss Lily is the youngest. There's nothing about the elder one +getting married, is there? + +"I've not heard anything of it." + +"A very pretty girl she is, too. I remember seeing her at her uncle's +last year. I shouldn't wonder if she were to marry her cousin Bernard. +He is to have the property, you know; and he's my nephew." + +"I'm not quite sure that it's a good thing for cousins to marry," said +Crofts. + +"They do, you know, very often; and it suits some family arrangements. +I suppose Dale must provide for them, and that would take one off his +hands without any trouble." + +Dr Crofts didn't exactly see the matter in this light, but he was not +anxious to argue it very closely with the earl. + +"The younger one," he said, + +"has provided for herself." + +"What; by getting a husband? But I suppose Dale must give her +something. They're not married yet, you know, and, from what I hear, +that fellow may prove a slippery customer. He'll not marry her unless +old Dale gives her something. You'll see if he does. I'm told that he +has got another string to his bow at Courcy Castle." + +Soon after this, Crofts took his horse and rode home, having promised +the earl that he would dine with him again before long. + +"It'll be a great convenience to me if you'd come about that time," +said the earl, "and as you're a bachelor perhaps you won't mind it. +You'll come on Thursday at seven, will you? Take care of yourself. It's +as dark as pitch. John, go and open the first gates for Dr Crofts." And +then the earl took himself off to bed. + +Crofts, as he rode home, could not keep his mind from thinking of the +two girls at Allington. +"He'll not marry her unless old Dale gives her something." Had it come +to that with the world, that a man must be bribed into keeping his +engagement with a lady? Was there no romance left among mankind-no +feeling of chivalry? + +"He's got another string to his bow at Courcy Castle," said the earl; +and his lordship seemed to be in no degree shocked as he said it. It +was in this tone that men spoke of women nowadays, and yet he himself +had felt such awe of the girl he loved, and such a fear lest he might +injure her in her worldly position, that he had not dared to tell her +that he loved her. + +CHAPTER XXI + +JOHN EAMES ENCOUNTERS TWO ADVENTURES, AND DISPLAYS GREAT COURAGE + +IN BOTH + +Lily thought that her lover's letter was all that it should be. She was +not quite aware what might be the course of post between Courcy and +Allington, and had not, therefore, felt very grievously disappointed +when the letter did not come on the very first day. She had, however, +in the course of the morning walked down to the post-office, in order +that she might be sure that it was not remaining there. + +"Why, miss, they all be delivered; you know that," said Mrs Crump, the +post-mistress. + +"But one might be left behind, I thought." + +"John Postman went up to the house this very day, with a newspaper for +your mamma. I can't make letters for people if folks don't write them." + +"But they are left behind sometimes, Mrs Crump. He wouldn't come up +with one letter if he'd got nothing else for anybody in the street." + +"Indeed but he would then. I wouldn't let him leave a letter here no +how, nor yet a paper. It's no good you're coming down here for letters, +Miss Lily. If he don't write to you, I can't make him do it." And so +poor Lily went home discomforted. + +But the letter came on the next morning, and all was right. According +to her judgment it lacked nothing, either in fulness or in affection. +When he told her how he had planned his early departure in order that +he might avoid the pain of parting with her on the last moment, she +smiled and pressed the paper, and rejoiced inwardly that she had got +the better of him as to that manoeuvre. And then she kissed the words +which told her that he had been glad to have her with him at the last +moment. When he declared that he had been happier at Allington than he +was at Courcy, she believed him thoroughly, and rejoiced that it should +be so. And when he accused himself of being worldly, she excused him, +persuading herself that he was nearly perfect in this respect as in +others. Of course a man living in London, and having to earn his bread +out in the world, must be more worldly than a country girl; but the +fact of his being able to love such a girl, to choose such a one for +his wife-was not that alone sufficient proof that the world had not +enslaved him? + +"My heart is on the Allington lawns," he said; and then, as she read +the words, she kissed the paper again. + +In her eyes, and to her ears, and to her heart, the letter was a +beautiful letter. I believe there is no bliss greater than that which a +thorough love-letter gives to a girl who knows that in receiving it she +commits no fault-who can open it before her father and mother with +nothing more than the slight blush which the consciousness of her +position gives her. And of all love-letters the first must be the +sweetest! What a value there is in every word! How each expression is +scanned and turned to the best account! With what importance are all +those little phrases invested, which too soon become mere phrases, used +as a matter of course. Crosbie had finished his letter by bidding God +bless her; +"and you too," said Lily, pressing the letter to her bosom. + +"Does he say anything particular?" asked Mrs Dale. + +"Yes, mamma; it's all very particular." + +"But there's nothing for the public ear." + +"He sends his love to you and Bell." + +"We are very much obliged to him." + +"So you ought to be. And he says that he went to church going through +Barchester, and that the clergyman was the grandfather of that Lady +Dumbello. When he got to Courcy Castle Lady Dumbello was there." + +"What a singular coincidence!" said Mrs Dale. + +"I won't tell you a word more about his letter," said Lily. So she +folded it up, and put it in her pocket. But as soon as she found +herself alone in her own room, she had it out again, and read it over +some half-a-dozen times. + +That was the occupation of her morning-that, and the manufacture of +some very intricate piece of work which was intended for the adornment +of Mr Crosbie's person. Her hands, however, were very full of work-or, +rather, she intended that they should be full. She would take with her +to her new home, when she was married, all manner of household gear, +the produce of her own industry and economy. She had declared that she +wanted to do something for her future husband, and she would begin that +something at once. And in this matter she did not belie her promises to +herself, or allow her good intentions to evaporate unaccomplished. She +soon surrounded herself with harder tasks than those embroidered +slippers with which she indulged herself immediately after his +departure. And Mrs Dale and Bell-though in their gentle way they +laughed at her-nevertheless they worked with her, sitting sternly to +their long tasks, in order that Crosbie's house might not be empty when +their darling should go to take her place there as his wife. + +But it was absolutely necessary that the letter should be answered. It +would in her eyes have been a great sin to have let that day's post go +without carrying a letter from her to Courcy Castle-a sin of which she +felt no temptation to be guilty. It was an exquisite pleasure to her to +seat herself at her little table, with her neat desk and small +appurtenances for epistle-craft, and to feel that she had a letter to +write in which she had truly much to say. Hitherto her correspondence +had been uninteresting and almost weak in its nature. From her mother +and sister she had hardly been yet parted; and though she had other +friends, she had seldom found herself with very much to tell them by +post. What could she communicate to Mary Eames at Guestwick, which +should be in itself exciting as she wrote it? When she wrote to John +Eames, and told "Dear John" that mamma hoped to have the pleasure of +seeing him to tea at such an hour, the work of writing was of little +moment to her, though the note when written became one of the choicest +treasures of him to whom it was addressed. + +But now the matter was very different. When she saw the words "Dearest +Adolphus" on the paper before her, she was startled with their +significance. + +"And four months ago I had never even heard of him," she said to +herself, almost with awe. And now he was more to her, and nearer to +her, than even was her sister or her mother! She recollected how she +had laughed at him behind his back, and called him a swell on the first +day of his coming to the Small House, and how, also, she had striven, +in her innocent way, to look her best when called upon to go out and +walk with the stranger from London. He was no longer a stranger now, +but her own dearest friend. + +She had put down her pen that she might think of all this-by no means +for the first time-and then resumed it with a sudden start as though +fearing that the postman might be in the village before her letter was +finished. + +"Dearest Adolphus, I need not tell you how delighted I was when your +letter was brought to me this morning." But I will not repeat the whole +of her letter here. She had no incident to relate, none even so +interesting as that of Mr Crosbie's encounter with Mr Harding at +Barchester. She had met no Lady Dumbello, and had no counterpart to +Lady Alexandrina, of whom, as a friend, she could say a word in praise. +John Eames's name she did not mention, knowing that John Eames was not +a favourite with Mr Crosbie; nor had she anything to say of John Eames, +that had not been already said. He had, indeed, promised to come over +to Allington; but this visit had not been made when Lily wrote her +first letter to Crosbie. It was a sweet, good, honest love-letter, full +of assurances of unalterable affection and unlimited confidence, +indulging in a little quiet fun as to the grandees of Courcy Castle, +and ending with a promise that she would be happy and contented if she +might receive his letters constantly, and live with the hope of seeing +him at Christmas. + +"I am in time, Mrs Crump, am I not?" she said, as she walked into the +post-office. + +"Of course you be-for the next half-hour. T' postman-he bain't stirred +from t' ale'us yet. Just put it into t' box wull ye?" + +"But you won't leave it there?" + +"Leave it there! Did you ever hear the like of that? If you're afeared +to put it in, you can take it away; that's all about it, Miss Lily." +And then Mrs Crump turned away to her avocations at the washing-tub. +Mrs Crump had a bad temper, but perhaps she had some excuse. A separate +call was made upon her time with reference to almost every letter +brought to her office, and for all this, as she often told her friends +in profound disgust, she received as salary no more than "tuppence +farden a day. It don't find me in shoe-leather; no more it don't." As +Mrs Crump was never seen out of her own house, unless it was in church +once a month, this latter assertion about her shoe-leather could hardly +have been true. + +Lily had received another letter, and had answered it before Eames made +his promised visit to Allington. He, as will be remembered, had also +had a correspondence. He had answered Miss Roper's letter, and had +since that been living in fear of two things; in a lesser fear of some +terrible rejoinder from Amelia, and in a greater fear of a more +terrible visit from his lady-love. Were she to swoop down in very truth +upon his Guestwick home, and declare herself to his mother and sister +as his affianced bride, what mode of escape would then be left for him? +But this she had not yet done, nor had she even answered his cruel +missive. + +"What an ass I am to be afraid of her!" he said to himself as he walked +along under the elms of Guestwick manor, which overspread the road to +Allington. When he first went over to Allington after his return home, +he had mounted himself on horseback, and had gone forth brilliant with +spurs, and trusting somewhat to the glories of his dress and gloves. +But he had then known nothing of Lily's engagement. Now he was +contented to walk; and as he had taken up his slouched hat and stick in +the passage of his mother's house, he had been very indifferent as to +his appearance. He walked quickly along the road, taking for the first +three miles the shade of the Guestwick elms, and keeping his feet on +the broad greensward which skirts the outside of the earl's palings. + +"What an ass I am to be afraid of her!" And as he swung his big stick +in his hand, striking a tree here and there, and knocking the stones +from his path, he began to question himself in earnest, and to be +ashamed of his position in the world. + +"Nothing on earth shall make me marry her," he said; "not if they bring +a dozen actions against me. She knows as well as I do, that I have +never intended to marry her. It's a cheat from beginning to end. If she +comes down here, I'll tell her so before my mother." But as the vision +of her sudden arrival came before his eyes, he acknowledged to himself +that he still held her in great fear. He had told her that he loved +her. He had written as much as that. If taxed with so much, he must +confess his sin. + +Then, by degrees, his mind turned away from Amelia Roper to Lily Dale, +not giving him a prospect much more replete with enjoyment than that +other one. He had said that he would call at Allington before he +returned to town, and he was now redeeming his promise. But he did not +know why he should go there. He felt that he should sit silent and +abashed in Mrs Dale's drawing-room, confessing by his demeanour that +secret which it behoved him now to hide from every one. He could not +talk easily before Lily, nor could he speak to her of the only subject +which would occupy his thoughts when in her presence. If indeed, he +might find her alone But, perhaps that might be worse for him than any +other condition. + +When he was shown into the drawing-room there was nobody there. + +"They were here a minute ago, all three," said the servant girl. "If +you'll walk down the garden, Mr John, you'll be sure to find some of +'em." So John Eames, with a little hesitation, walked down the garden. + +First of all he went the whole way round the walks, meeting nobody. +Then he crossed the lawn, returning again to the farther end; and +there, emerging from the little path which led from the Great House, he +encountered Lily alone. + +"Oh, John," she said, how d'ye do? I'm afraid you did not find anybody +in the house. Mamma and Bell are with Hopkins, away in the large +kitchen-garden." + +"I've just come over," said Eames, "because I promised. I said I'd come +before I went back to London." + +"And they'll be very glad to see you, and so am I. Shall we go after +them into the other grounds? But perhaps you walked over and are tired." + +"I did walk," said Eames; "not that I am very tired." But in truth he +did not wish to go after Mrs Dale, though he was altogether at a loss +as to what he would say to Lily while remaining with her. He had +fancied that he would like to have some opportunity of speaking to her +alone before he went away-of making some special use of the last +interview which he should have with her before she became a married +woman. But now the opportunity was there, and he hardly dared to avail +himself of it. + +"You'll stay and dine with us," said Lily. + +"No, I'll not do that, for I especially told my mother that I would be +back." + +"I'm sure it was very good of you to walk so far to see us. If you +really are not tired, I think we will go to mamma, as she would be very +sorry to miss you." + +This she said, remembering at the moment what had been Crosbie's +injunctions to her about John Eames. But John had resolved that he +would say those words which he had come to speak, and that, as Lily was +there with him, he would avail himself of the chance which fortune had +given him. + +"I don't think I'll go into the squire's garden," he said. + +"Uncle Christopher is not there. He is about the farm somewhere." + +"If you don't mind, Lily, I think I'll stay here. I suppose they'll be +back soon. Of course I should like to see them before I go away to +London. But, Lily, I came over now chiefly to see you. It was you who +asked me to promise." + +Had Crosbie been right in those remarks of his? Had she been imprudent +in her little endeavour to be cordially kind to her old friend? + +"Shall we go into the drawing-room?" she said, feeling that she would +be in some degree safer there than out among the shrubs and paths of +the garden. And I think she was right in this. A man will talk of love +out among the lilacs and roses, who would be stricken dumb by the +demure propriety of the four walls of a drawing-room. John Eames also +had some feeling of this kind, for he determined to remain out in the +garden, if he could so manage it. + +"I don't want to go in unless you wish it," he said. + +"Indeed, I'd rather stay here. So, Lily, you're going to be married?" +And thus he rushed at once into the middle of his discourse. + +"Yes," said she, "I believe I am." + +"I have not told you yet that I congratulated you." + +"I have known very well that you did so in your heart. I have always +been sure that you wished me well." + +"Indeed I have. And if congratulating a person is hoping that she may +always be happy, I do congratulate you. But, Lily-"And then he paused, +abashed by the beauty, purity, and woman's grace which had forced him +to love her. + +"I think I understand all that you would say. I do not want ordinary +words to tell me that I am to count you among my best friends." + +"No, Lily; you don't understand all that I would say. You have never +known how often and how much I have thought of you; how dearly I have +loved you." + +"John, you must not talk of that now." + +"I cannot go without telling you. When I came over here, and Mrs Dale +told me that you were to be married to that man-" + +"You must not speak of Mr Crosbie in that way," she said, turning upon +him almost fiercely. + +"I did not mean to say anything disrespectful of him to you. I should +hate myself if I were to do so. Of course you like him better than +anybody else?" + +"I love him better than all the world besides." + +"And so do I love you better than all the world besides." And as he +spoke he got up from his seat and stood before her. + +"I know how poor I am, and unworthy of you; and only that you are +engaged to him, I don't suppose that I should now tell you. Of course +you couldn't accept such a one as me. But I have loved you ever since +you remember; and now that you are going to be his wife, I cannot but +tell you that it is so. You will go and live in London; but as to my +seeing you there, it will be impossible. I could not go into that man's +house." + +"Oh, John." + +"No, never; not if you became his wife. I have loved you as well as he +does. When Mrs Dale told me of it, I thought I should have fallen. I +went away without seeing you because I was unable to speak to you. I +made a fool of myself, and have been a fool all along. I am foolish now +to tell you this, but I cannot help it." + +"You will forget it all when you meet some girl that you can really +love." + +"And have I not really loved you? Well, never mind. I have said what I +came to say, and I will now go. If it ever happens that we are down in +the country together, perhaps I may see you again; but never in London. +Good-bye, Lily." And he put out his hand to her. + +"And won't you stay for mamma?" she said. + +"No. Give her my love, and to Bell. They understand all about it. They +will know why I have gone. If ever you should want anybody to do +anything for you, remember that I will do it, whatever it is." And as +he paced away from her across the lawn, the special deed in her favour +to which his mind was turned-that one thing which he most longed to do +on her behalf-was an act of corporal chastisement upon Crosbie. If +Crosbie would but ill-treat her-ill-treat her with some anti-nuptial +barbarity-and if only he could be called in to avenge her wrongs! And +as he made his way back along the road towards Guestwick, he built up +within his own bosom a castle in the air, for her part in which Lily +Dale would by no means have thanked him. +Lily when she was left alone burst into tears. She had certainly said +very little to encourage her forlorn suitor, and had so borne herself +during the interview that even Crosbie could hardly have been +dissatisfied; but now that Eames was gone her heart became very tender +towards him. She felt that she did love him also-not at all as she +loved Crosbie, but still with a love that was tender, soft, and true. +If Crosbie could have known all her thoughts at that moment, I doubt +whether he would have liked them. She burst into tears, and then +hurried away into some nook where she could not be seen by her mother +and Bell on their return. + +Eames went on his way, walking very quietly, swinging his stick and +kicking through the dust, with his heart full of the scene which had +just passed. He was angry with himself, thinking that he had played his +part badly, accusing himself in that he had been rough to her, and +selfish in the expression of his love ; and he was angry with her +because she had declared to him that she loved Crosbie better than all +the world besides. He knew that of course she must do so-that at any +rate it was to be expected that such was the case. Yet, he thought, she +might have refrained from saying so to him. + +"She chooses to scorn me now," he said to himself; "but the time may +come when she will wish that she had scorned him." That Crosbie was +wicked, bad, and selfish, he believed most fully. He felt sure that the +man would ill-use her and make her wretched. He had some slight doubt +whether he would marry her, and from this doubt he endeavoured to draw +a scrap of comfort. If Crosbie would desert her, and if to him might be +accorded the privilege of beating the man to death with his fists +because of this desertion, then the world would not be quite blank for +him. In all this he was no doubt very cruel to Lily-but then had not +Lily been very cruel to him? + +He was still thinking of these things when he came to the first of the +Guestwick pastures. The boundary of the earl's property was very +plainly marked, for with it commenced also the shady elms along the +roadside, and the broad green margin of turf, grateful equally to those +who walked and to those who rode. Eames had got himself on to the +grass, but, in the fulness of his thoughts, was unconscious of the +change in his path, when he was startled by a voice in the next field +and the loud bellowing of a bull. Lord de Guest's choice cattle he knew +were there, and there was one special bull which was esteemed by his +lordship as of great value, and regarded as a high favourite. The +people about the place declared that the beast was vicious, but Lord de +Guest had often been heard to boast that it was never vicious with him. + +"The boys tease him, and the men are almost worse than the boys," said +the earl; "but he'll never hurt any one that has not hurt him." Guided +by faith in his own teaching the earl had taught himself to look upon +his bull as a large, horned, innocent lamb of the flock. + +As Eames paused on the road, he fancied that he recognised the earl's +voice, and it was the voice of one in distress. Then the bull's roar +sounded very plain in his ear, and almost close-upon hearing which he +rushed on to the gate, and, without much thinking what he was doing, +vaulted over it, and advanced a few steps into the field. + +"Halloo!" shouted the earl. "There's a man. Come on." And then his +continued shoutings hardly formed themselves into intelligible words; +but Eames plainly understood that he was invoking assistance under +great pressure and stress of circumstances. The bull was making short +runs at his owner, as though determined in each run to have a toss at +his lordship; and at each run the earl would retreat quickly for a few +paces, but he retreated always facing his enemy, and as the animal got +near to him, would make digs at his face with the long spud which he +carried in his hand. But in thus making good his retreat he had been +unable to keep in a direct line to the gate, and there seemed to be +great danger lest the bull should succeed in pressing him up against +the hedge. + +"Come on!" shouted the earl, who was fighting his battle manfully, but +was by no means anxious to carry off all the laurels of the victory +himself. + +"Come on, I say!" Then he stopped in his path, shouted into the bull's +face, brandished his spud, and threw about his arms, thinking that he +might best dismay the beast by the display of these warlike gestures. + +Johnny Eames ran on gallantly to the peer's assistance, as he would +have run to that of any peasant in the land. He was one to whom I +should be perhaps wrong to attribute at this period of his life the +gift of very high courage. He feared many things which no man should +fear; but he did not fear personal mishap or injury to his own skin and +bones. When Cradell escaped out of the house in Burton Crescent, making +his way through the passage into the outer air, he did so because he +feared that Lupex would beat him or kick him, or otherwise ill-use him. +John Eames would also have desired to escape under similar +circumstances; but he would have so desired because he could not endure +to be looked upon in his difficulties by the people of the house, and +because his imagination would have painted the horrors of a policeman +dragging him off with a black eye and a torn coat. There was no one to +see him now, and no policeman to take offence. Therefore he rushed to +the earl's assistance, brandishing his stick, and roaring in emulation +of the bull. + +When the animal saw with what unfairness he was treated, and that the +number of his foes was doubled, while no assistance had lent itself on +his side, he stood for a while, disgusted by the injustice of humanity. +He stopped, and throwing his head up to the heavens, bellowed out his +complaint. + +"Don't come close!" said the earl, who was almost out of breath. + +"Keep a little apart. Ugh! ugh! whoop, whoop!" And he threw up his arms +manfully, jobbing about with his spud, ever and anon rubbing the +perspiration from off his eyebrows with the back of his hand. + +As the bull stood pausing, meditating whether under such circumstances +flight would not be preferable to gratified passion, Eames made a rush +in at him, attempting to hit him on the head. + +The earl, seeing this, advanced a step also, and got his spud almost up +to the animal's eye. But these indignities the beast could not stand. +He made a charge, bending his head first towards John Eames, and then, +with that weak vacillation which is as disgraceful in a bull as in a +general, he changed his purpose, and turned his horns upon his other +enemy. The consequence was that his steps carried him in between the +two, and that the earl and Eames found themselves for a while behind +his tail. + +"Now for the gate," said the earl. + +"Slowly does it; slowly does it; don't run!" said Johnny, assuming in +the heat of the moment a tone of counsel which would have been very +foreign to him under other circumstances. + +The earl was not a whit offended. +"All right," said he, taking with a backward motion the direction of +the gate. Then as the bull again faced towards him, he jumped from the +ground, labouring painfully with arms and legs, and ever keeping his +spud well advanced against the foe. Eames, holding his position a +little apart from his friend, stooped low and beat the ground with his +stick, and as though defying the creature. The bull felt himself +defied, stood still and roared, and then made another vacillating +attack. + +"Hold on till we reach the gate," said Eames. + +"Ugh! ugh! Whoop! whoop!" shouted the earl. And so gradually they made +good their ground. + +"Now get over," said Eames, when they had both reached the corner of +the field in which the gate stood. + +"And what'll you do?" said the earl. + +"I'll go at the hedge to the right." And Johnny as he spoke dashed his +stick about, so as to monopolise, for a moment, the attention of the +brute. The earl made a spring at the gate, and got well on to the upper +rung. The bull seeing that his prey was going, made a final rush upon +the earl and struck the timber furiously with his head, knocking his +lordship down on the other side. Lord de Guest was already over, but +not off the rail; and thus, though he fell, he fell in safety on the +sward beyond the gate. He fell in safety, but utterly exhausted. Eames, +as he had purposed, made a leap almost sideways at a thick hedge which +divided the field from one of the Guestwick copses. There was a fairly +broad ditch, and on the other side a quickset hedge, which had, +however, been weakened and injured by trespassers at this corner, close +to the gate. Eames was young and active and jumped well. He jumped so +well that he carried his body full into the middle of the quickset, and +then scrambled through to the other side, not without much injury to +his clothes, and some damage also to his hands and face. + +The beast, recovering from his shock against the wooden bars, looked +wistfully at his last retreating enemy, as he still struggled amidst +the bushes. He looked at the ditch and at the broken hedge, but he did +not understand how weak were the impediments in his way. He had knocked +his head against the stout timber, which was strong enough to oppose +him, but was dismayed by the brambles which he might have trodden under +foot without an effort How many of us are like the bull, turning away +conquered by opposition which should be as nothing to us, and breaking +our feet, and worse still, our hearts, against rocks of adamant. The +bull at last made up his mind that he did not dare to face the hedge; +so he gave one final roar, and then turning himself round, walked +placidly back amidst the herd. + +Johnny made his way on to the road by a stile that led out of the +copse, and was soon standing over the earl, while the blood ran down +his cheeks from the scratches. One of the legs of his trousers had been +caught by a stake, and was torn from the hip downward, and his hat was +left in the field, the only trophy for the bull. + +"I hope you're not hurt, my lord," he said. + +"Oh dear, no; but I'm terribly out of breath. Why, you're bleeding all +over. He didn't get at you, did he?" + +"It's only the thorns in the hedge," said Johnny, passing his hand over +his face. +"But I've lost my hat." + +"There are plenty more hats," said the earl. + +"I think I'll have a try for it," said Johnny, with whom the means of +getting hats had not been so plentiful as with the earl. + +"He looks quiet now." And he moved towards the gate. + +But Lord de Guest jumped upon his feet, and seized the young man by the +collar of his coat. + +"Go after your hat!" said he. + +"You must be a fool to think of it. If you're afraid of catching cold, +you shall have mine." + +"I'm not the least afraid of catching cold," said Johnny. + +"Is he often like that, my lord?" And he made a motion with his head +towards the bull. + +"The gentlest creature alive; he's like a lamb generally-just like a +lamb. Perhaps he saw my red pocket-handkerchief." And Lord de Guest +showed his friend that he carried such an article. + +"But where should I have been if you hadn't come up?" + +"You'd have got to the gate, my lord." + +"Yes; with my feet foremost, and four men carrying me. I'm very +thirsty. You don't happen to carry a flask, do you?" + +"No, my lord, I don't." + +"Then we'll make the best of our way home, and have a glass of wine +there." And on this occasion his lordship intended that his offer +should be accepted. + +CHAPTER XXII + +LORD DE GUEST AT HOME + + +The earl and John Eames, after their escape from the bull, walked up to +the Manor House together. + +"You can write a note to your mother, and I'll send it by one of the +boys," said the earl. This was his lordship's answer when Eames +declined to dine at the Manor House, because he would be expected home. + +"But I'm so badly off for clothes, my lord," pleaded Johnny. "I tore my +trousers in the hedge." + +"There will be nobody there beside us two and Dr Crofts. The doctor +will forgive you when he hears the story; and as for me, I didn't care +if you hadn't a stitch to your back. You'll have company back to +Guestwick, so come along." + +Eames had no further excuse to offer, and therefore did as he was +bidden. He was by no means as much at home with the earl now as during +those minutes of the combat. He would rather have gone home, being +somewhat ashamed of being seen in his present tattered and bare-headed +condition by the servants of the house; and moreover, his mind would +sometimes revert to the scene which had taken place in the garden at +Allington. But he found himself obliged to obey the earl, and so he +walked on with him through the woods. + +The earl did not say very much, being tired and somewhat thoughtful. In +what little he did say he seemed to be specially hurt by the +ingratitude of the bull towards himself. + +"I never teased him, or annoyed him in any way." + +"I suppose they are dangerous beasts?" said Eames. + +"Not a bit of it, if they're properly treated. It must have been my +handkerchief, I suppose. I remember that I did blow my nose." + +He hardly said a word in the way of thanks to his assistant. + +"Where should I have been if you had not come to me?" he had exclaimed +immediately after his deliverance; but having said that he didn't think +it necessary to say much more to Eames. But he made himself very +pleasant, and by the time he had reached the house his companion was +almost glad that he had been forced to dine at the Manor House. + +"And now we'll have a drink," said the earl. "I don't know how you +feel, but I never was so thirsty in my life." + +Two servants immediately showed themselves, and evinced some surprise +at Johnny's appearance. + +"Has the gentleman hurt hisself, my lord?" asked the butler, looking at +the blood upon our friend's face. +"He has hurt his trousers the worst, I believe," said the earl. "And if +he was to put on any of mine they'd be too short and too big, wouldn't +they? I am sorry you should be so uncomfortable, but you mustn't mind +it for once." + +"I don't mind it a bit," said Johnny. + +"And I'm sure I don't," said the earl. + +"Mr Eames is going to dine here, Vickers." + +"Yes, my lord." + +"And his hat is down in the middle of the nineteen acres. Let three or +four men go for it." + +"Three or four men, my lord!" + +"Yes-three or four men. There's something gone wrong with that bull. +And you must get a boy with a pony to take a note into Guestwick, to +Mrs Eames. Oh dear, I'm better now," and he put down the tumbler from +which he'd been drinking. + +"Write your note here, and then we'll go and see my pet pheasants +before dinner." + +Vickers and the footman knew that something had happened of much +moment, for the earl was usually very particular about his +dinner-table. He expected every guest who sat there to be dressed in +such guise as the fashion of the day demanded; and he himself, though +his morning costume was by no means brilliant, never dined, even when +alone, without having put himself into a suit of black, with a white +cravat, and having exchanged the old silver hunting-watch which he +carried during the day tied round his neck by a bit of old ribbon, for +a small gold watch, with a chain and seals, which in the evening always +dangled over his waistcoat. Dr Gruffen had once been asked to dinner at +Guestwick Manor. + +"Just a bachelor's chop," said the earl; "for there's nobody at home +but myself." Whereupon Dr Gruffen had come in coloured trousers-and had +never again been asked to dine at Guestwick Manor. All this Vickers +knew well; and now his lordship had brought young Eames home to dine +with him with his clothes all hanging about him in a manner which +Vickers declared in the servants' hall wasn't more than half decent. +Therefore, they all knew that something very particular must have +happened. + +"It's some trouble about the bull, I know," said Vickers-"but bless +you, the bull couldn't have tore his things in that way!" + +Eames wrote his note, in which he told his mother that he had had an +adventure with Lord de Guest, and that his lordship had insisted on +bringing him home to dinner. + +"I have torn my trousers all to pieces," he added in a postscript, "and +have lost my hat. Everything else is all right." He was not aware that +the earl also sent a short note to Mrs Eames. + +DEAR MADAM (ran the earl's note)-Your son has, under Providence, +probably saved my life. I will leave the story for him to tell. He has +been good enough to accompany me home, and will return to Guestwick +after dinner with Dr Crofts, who dines here. I congratulate you on +having a son with so much cool courage and good feeling. + +Your very faithful servant, + +DE GUEST. + +GUESTWICK MANOR, + +Thursday, October, 186- + +And then they went to see the pheasants. + +"Now, I'll tell you what," said the earl. + +"I advise you to take to shooting. It's the amusement of a gentleman +when a man chances to have the command of game." + +"But I'm always up in London." + +"No, you're not. You're not up in London now. You always have your +holidays. If you choose to try it, I'll see that you have shooting +enough while you're here. It's better than going to sleep under the +trees. Ha, ha, ha! I wonder what made you lay yourself down there. You +hadn't been fighting a bull that day?" + +"No, my lord. I hadn't seen the bull then." + +"Well; you think of what I've been saying. When I say a thing, I mean +it. You shall have shooting enough, if you have a mind to try it." Then +they looked at the pheasants, and pottered about the place till the +earl said it was time to dress for dinner. + +"That's hard upon you, isn't it?" said he. "But, at any rate, you can +wash your hands, and get rid of the blood. I'll be down in the little +drawing-room five minutes before seven, and I suppose I'll find you +there." + +At five minutes before seven Lord de Guest came into the small +drawing-room, and found Johnny seated there, with a book before him. +The earl was a little fussy, and showed by his manner that he was not +quite at his ease, as some men do when they have any piece of work on +hand which is not customary with them. He held something in his hand, +and shuffled a little as he made his way up the room. He was dressed, +as usual, in black; but his gold chain was not, as usual, dangling over +his waistcoat. + +"Eames," he said, "I want you to accept a little present from me-just +as a memorial of our affair with the bull. It will make you think of it +sometimes, when I'm perhaps gone." + +"Oh, my lord-" + +"It's my own watch, that I have been wearing for some time; but I've +got another-two or three, I believe, somewhere upstairs. You mustn't +refuse me. I can't bear being refused. There are two or three little +seals, too, which I have worn. I have taken off the one with my arms, +because that's of no use to you, and it is to me. It doesn't want a +key, but winds up at the handle, in this way," and the earl proceeded +to explain the nature of the toy. + +"My lord, you think too much of what happened today," said Eames, +stammering. +"No, I don't; I think very little about it. I know what I think of. Put +the watch in your pocket before the doctor comes. There; I hear his +horse. Why didn't he drive over, and then he could have taken you back?" + +"I can walk very well." + +"I'll make that all right. The servant shall ride Crofts' horse, and +bring back the little phaeton. How d'you do, doctor? You know Eames, I +suppose? You needn't look at him in that way. His leg is not broken; +it's only his trousers." And then the earl told the story of the bull. + +"Johnny will become quite a hero in town," said Crofts. + +"Yes; I fear he'll get the most of the credit; and yet I was at it +twice as long as he was. I'll tell you what, young men, when I got to +that gate I didn't think I'd breath enough left in me to get over it. +It's all very well jumping into a hedge when you're only +two-and-twenty; but when a man comes to be sixty he likes to take his +time about such things. Dinner ready, is it? So am I. I quite forgot +that mutton chop of yours today, doctor. But I suppose a man may eat a +good dinner after a fight with a bull?" + +The evening passed by without any very pleasurable excitement, and I +regret to say that the earl went fast to sleep in the drawing-room as +soon as he had swallowed his cup of coffee. During dinner he had been +very courteous to both his guests, but towards Eames he had used a +good-humoured and, almost affectionate familiarity. He had quizzed him +for having been found asleep under the tree, telling Crofts that he +had. looked very forlorn- + +"So that I haven't a doubt about his being in love," said the earl. And +he had asked Johnny to tell the name of the fair one, bringing up the +remnants of his half-forgotten classicalities to bear out the joke. + +"If I am to take more of the severe Falernian," said he, laying his +hand on the decanter of port, + +"I must know the lady's name. Whoever she be, I'm well sure you need +not blush for her. What! you refuse to tell! Then I'll drink no more." +And so the earl had walked out of the dining-room; but not till he had +perceived by his guest's cheeks that the joke had been too true to be +pleasant. As he went, however, he leaned with his hand on Eames's +shoulder, and the servants looking on saw that the young man was to be +a favourite. + +"He'll make him his heir," said Vickers. + +"I shouldn't wonder a bit if he don't make him his heir." But to this +the footman objected, endeavouring to prove to Mr Vickers that, in +accordance with the law of the land, his lordship's second cousin, once +removed, whom the earl had never seen, but whom he was supposed to +hate, must be his heir. + +"A hearl can never choose his own heir, like you or me," said the +footman, laying down the law. + +"Can't he though really, now? That's very hard on him; isn't it?" said +the pretty housemaid. + +"Psha," said Vickers: "you know nothing about it. My lord could make +young Eames his heir tomorrow; that is, the heir of his property. He +couldn't make him a hearl, because that must go to the heirs of his +body. As to his leaving him the place here, I don't just know how +that'd be; and I'm sure Richard don't." + +"But suppose he hasn't got any heirs of his body?" asked the pretty +housemaid, who was rather fond of putting down Mr Vickers. + +"He must have heirs of his body," said the butler. "Everybody has 'em. +If a man don't know 'em himself, the law finds 'em out." And then Mr +Vickers walked away, avoiding further dispute. + +In the meantime, the earl was asleep upstairs, and tie two young men +from Guestwick did not find that they could amuse themselves with any +satisfaction. Each took up a book; but there are times at which a man +is quite unable to read, and when a book is only a cover for his +idleness or dulness. At last, Dr Crofts suggested, in a whisper, that +they might as well begin to think of going home. + +"Eh; yes; what?" said the earl, "I'm not asleep." In answer to which +the doctor said that he thought he'd go home, if his lordship would let +him order his horse. But the earl was against fast bound in slumber, +and took no further notice of the proposition. + +"Perhaps we could get off without waking him," suggested Eames, in a +whisper. + +"Eh; what?" said the earl. So they both resumed their books, and +submitted themselves to their martyrdom for a further period of fifteen +minutes. At the expiration of that time, the footman brought in tea. + +"Eh, what? tea!" said the earl. + +"Yes, we'll have a little tea. I've heard every word you've been +saying." It was that assertion on the part of the earl which always +made Lady Julia so angry. + +"You cannot have heard what I have been saying, Theodore, because I +have said nothing," she would reply. + +"But I should have heard it if you had," the earl would rejoin, +snappishly. On the present occasion neither Crofts nor Eames +contradicted him, and he took his tea and swallowed it while still +three parts asleep. + +"If you'll allow me, my lord, I think I'll order my horse," said the +doctor. + +"Yes; horse-yes-" said the earl, nodding. + +"But what are you to do, Eames, if I ride?" said the doctor. + +"I'll walk," whispered Eames, in his very lowest voice. + +"What-what-what?" said the earl, jumping up on his feet. + +"Oh, ah, yes; going away, are you? I suppose you might as well, as sit +here and see me sleeping. But, doctor-I didn't snore, did I?" + +"Only occasionally." + +"Not loud, did I? Come, Eames, did I snore loud? + +"Well, my lord, you did snore rather loud two or three times." + +"Did I?" said the earl, in a voice of great disappointment. + +"And yet, do you know, I heard every word you said." + +The small phaeton had been already ordered, and the two young men +started back to Guestwick together, a servant from the house riding the +doctor's horse behind them. + +"Look here, Eames," said the earl, as they parted on the steps of the +hall door. + +"You're going back to town the day after tomorrow, you say, so I shan't +see you again?" + +"No, my lord", said Johnny. + +"Look you here, now. I shall be up for the Cattle-show before +Christmas. You must dine with me at my hotel, on the twenty-second of +December, Pawkins's, in Jermyn Street; seven o'clock, sharp. Mind you +do not forget, now. Put it down in your pocket-book when you get home. +Good-bye, doctor; good-bye. I see I must stick to that mutton chop in +the middle of the day." And then they drove off. + +"He'll make him his heir for certain," said Vickers to himself, as he +slowly returned to his own quarters. + +"You were returning from Allington, I suppose," said Crofts, "when you +came across Lord de Guest and the bull?" + +"Yes: I just walked over to say good-bye to them." + +"Did you find them all well?" + +"I only saw one. The other two were out" + +"Mrs Dale, was it?" + +"No; it was Lily." + +"Sitting alone, thinking of her fine London lover, of course. I suppose +we ought to look upon her as a very lucky girl. I have no doubt she +thinks herself so." + +"I'm sure I don't know," said Johnny. + +"I believe he's a very good young man," said the doctor; but I can't +say I quite liked his manner." + +"I should think not," said Johnny. +"But then in all probability he did not like mine a bit better, or +perhaps yours either. And if so it's all fair." + +"I don't see that it's a bit fair. He's a snob," said Eames "and I +don't believe that I am." He had taken a glass or two of the earl's +"severe Falernian," and was disposed to a more generous confidence, and +perhaps also to stronger language, than might otherwise have been the +case. + +"No; I don't think he is a snob," said Crofts. + +"Had he been so, Mrs Dale would have perceived it." + +"You'll see," said Johnny, touching up the earl's horse with energy as +he spoke. + +"You'll see. A man who gives himself airs is a snob; and he gives +himself airs. And I don't believe he's a straightforward fellow. It was +a bad day for us all when he came among them at Allington." + +"I can't say that I see that." + +"I do. But mind, I haven't spoken a word of this to any one. And I +don't mean. What would be the good? I suppose she must marry him now?" + +"Of course she must." + +"And be wretched all her life. Oh-h-h-h!" and he muttered a deep groan. + +"I'll tell you what it is, Crofts. He is going to take the sweetest +girl out of this country that ever was in it, and he don't deserve her." + +"I don't think she can be compared to her sister," said Crofts slowly. + +"What; not Lily?" said Eames, as though the proposition made by the +doctor were one that could not hold water for a minute. + +"I have always thought that Bell was the more admired of the two," said +Crofts. + +"I'll tell you what," said Eames. + +"I have never yet set my eyes on any human creature whom I thought so +beautiful as Lily Dale. And now that beast is going to marry her! I'll +tell you what, Crofts; I'll manage to pick a quarrel with him yet." +Whereupon the doctor, seeing the nature of the complaint from which his +companion was suffering, said nothing more, either about Lily or about +Bell. + +Soon after this Eames was at his own door, and was received there by +his mother and sister with all the enthusiasm due to a hero. + +"He has saved the earl's life!" Mrs Eames had exclaimed to her daughter +on reading Lord de Guest's note. + +"Oh, goodness!" and she threw herself back upon the sofa almost in a +fainting condition. +"Saved Lord de Guest's life!" said Mary. + +"Yes-under Providence," said Mrs Eames, as though that latter fact +added much to her son's good deed. + +"But how did he do it?" + +"By cool courage and good feeling-so his lordship says. But I wonder +how he really did do it?" + +"Whatever way it was, he's torn all his clothes and lost his hat," said +Mary. + +"I don't care a bit about that," said Mrs Eames. + +"I wonder whether the earl has any interest at the Income-tax. What a +thing it would be if he could get Johnny a step. It would be seventy +pounds a year at once. He was quite right to stay and dine when his +lordship asked him. And so Dr Crofts is there. It couldn't have been +anything in the doctoring way, I suppose." + +"No, I should say not; because of what he says of his trousers." And so +the two ladies were obliged to wait for John's return. + +"How did you do it, John?" said his mother, embracing him, as soon as +the door was opened. + +"How did you save the earl's life?" said Mary, who was standing behind +her mother. + +"Would his lordship really have been killed, if it had not been for +you?" asked Mrs Eames. + +"And was he very much hurt?" asked Mary. + +"Oh, bother," said Johnny, on whom the results of the day's work, +together with the earl's Falernian, had made some still remaining +impression. On ordinary occasions, Mrs Eames would have felt hurt at +being so answered by her son; but at the present moment she regarded +him as standing so high in general favour that she took no offence. + +"Oh, Johnny, do tell us. Of course we must be very anxious to know it +all." + +"There's nothing to tell, except that a bull ran at the earl, as I was +going by; so I went into the field and helped him, and then he made me +stay and dine with him." + +"But his lordship says that you saved his life," said Mary. + +"Under Providence," added their mother. + +"At any rate, he has given me a gold watch and chain," said Johnny, +drawing the present out of his pocket. + +"I wanted a watch badly. All the same, I didn't like taking it." + +"It would have been very wrong to refuse," said his mother. + +"And I am so glad you have been so fortunate. And look here, Johnny: +when a friend like that comes in your way, don't turn your back on +him." Then, at last, he thawed beneath their kindness, and told them +the whole of the story. I fear that, in recounting the earl's efforts +with the spud, he hardly spoke of his patron with all that deference +which would have been appropriate. + +CHAPTER XXIII + +MR PLANTAGENET PALLISER + + +A week passed over Mr Crosbie's head at Courcy Castle without much +inconvenience to him from the well-known fact of his matrimonial +engagement. Both George de Courcy and John de Courcy had in their +different ways charged him with his offence, and endeavoured to annoy +him by recurring to the subject; but he did not care much for the wit +or malice of George or John de Courcy. The countess had hardly alluded +to Lily Dale after those few words which she said on the first day of +his visit, and seemed perfectly willing to regard his doings at +Allington as the occupation natural to a young man in such a position. +He had been seduced down to a dull country house, and had, as a matter +of course, taken to such amusements as the place afforded. He had shot +the partridges and made love to the young lady, taking those little +recreations as compensation for the tedium of the squire's society. +Perhaps he had gone a little too far with the young lady; but then no +one knew better than the countess how difficult it is for a young man +to go far enough without going too far. It was not her business to make +herself a censor on a young man's conduct. The blame, no doubt, rested +quite as much with Miss Dale as with him. She was quite sorry that any +young lady should be disappointed; but if girls will be imprudent, and +set their caps at men above their mark, they must encounter +disappointment. With such language did Lady de Courcy speak of the +affair among her daughters, and her daughters altogether agreed with +her that it was out of the question that Mr Crosbie should marry Lily +Dale. From Alexandrina he encountered during the week none of that +raillery which he had expected. He had promised to explain to her +before he left the castle all the circumstances of his acquaintance +with Lily, and she at last showed herself determined to demand the +fulfilment of this promise; hut, previous to that, she said nothing to +manifest either offence or a lessened friendship. And I regret to say, +that in the intercourse which had taken place between them, that +friendship was by no means less tender that it had been in London. + +"And when will you tell me what you promised?" she asked him one +afternoon, speaking in a low voice, as they were standing together at +the window of the billiard-room, in that idle half-hour which always +occurs before the necessity for dinner preparation has come. She had +been riding and was still in her habit, and he had returned from +shooting. She knew that she looked more than ordinarily well in her +tall straight hat and riding gear, and was wont to hang about the +house, walking skilfully with her upheld drapery, during this period of +the day. It was dusk, but not dark, and there was no artificial light +in the billiard-room. There had been some pretence of knocking about +the balls, but it had been only pretence. + +"Even Diana," she had said, "could not have played billiards in a +habit. "Then she had put down her mace, and they had stood talking +together in the recess of a large bow-window. + +"And what did I promise?" said Crosbie. + +"You know well enough. Not that it is a matter of any special interest +to me; only, as you undertook to promise, of course my curiosity has +been raised." + +"If it be of no special interest" said Crosbie, "you will not object to +absolve me from my promise." + +"That is just like you," she said. "And how false you men always are. +You made up your mind to buy my silence on a distasteful subject by +pretending to offer me your future confidence; and now you tell me that +you do not mean to confide in me." + +"You begin by telling me that the matter is one that does not in the +least interest you." + +"That is so false again! You know very well what I meant. Do you +remember what you said to me the day you came? and am I not bound to +tell you after that, that your marriage with this or that young lady is +not matter of special interest to me? Still, as your friend-" + +"Well, as my friend!" + +"I shall be glad to know-But I am not going to beg for your confidence; +only I tell you this fairly, that no man is so mean in my eyes as a man +who fights under false colours." + +"And am I fighting under false colours?" + +"Yes, you are." And now, as she spoke, the Lady Alexandrina blushed +beneath her hat; and dull as was the remaining light of the. evening, +Crosbie, looking into her face, saw her heightened colour. + +"Yes, you are. A gentleman is fighting under false colours who comes +into a house like this, with a public rumour of his being engaged, and +then conducts himself as though nothing of the kind existed. Of course, +it is not anything to me specially; but that is fighting under false +colours. Now, sir, you may redeem the promise you made me when you +first came here-or you may let it alone." + +It must be acknowledged that the lady was fighting her battle with much +courage, and also with some skill. In three or four days Crosbie would +be gone; and this victory, if it were ever to be gained, must be gained +in those three or four days. And if there were to be no victory, then +it would be only fair that Crosbie should be punished for his +duplicity, and that she should be avenged as far as any revenge might +be in her power. Not that she meditated any deep revenge, or was +prepared to feel any strong anger. She liked Crosbie as well as she had +ever liked any man. She believed that he liked her also. She had no +conception of any very strong passion, but conceived that a married +life was more pleasant than one of single bliss. She had no doubt that +he had promised to make Lily Dale his wife, but so had he previously +promised her, or nearly so. It was a fair game, and she would win it if +she could. If she failed, she would show her anger; but she would show +it in a mild, weak manner-turning up her nose at Lily before Crosbie's +face, and saying little things against himself behind his back. Her +wrath would not carry her much beyond that. + +"Now, sir, you may redeem the promise you made me when you first came +here-or you may let it alone." So she spoke, and then she turned her +face away from him, gazing out into the darkness. + +"Alexandrina!" he said. + +"Well, sir? But you have no right to speak to me in that style. You +know that you have no right to call me by my name in that way!" + +"You mean that you insist upon your title?" + +"All ladies insist on what you call their title, from gentlemen, except +under the privilege of greater intimacy than you have the right to +claim. You did not call Miss Dale by her Christian name till you had +obtained permission, I suppose?" + +"You used to let me call you so." + +"Never! Once or twice, when you have done so, I have not forbidden it, +as I should have done. Very well, sir, as you have nothing to tell me, +I will leave you. I must confess that I did not think you were such a +coward." And she prepared to go, gathering up the skirts of her habit, +and taking up the whip which she had laid on the window-sill. + +"Stay a moment, Alexandrina," he said; + +"I am not happy, and you should not say words intended to make me more +miserable." + +"And why are you unhappy?" + +"Because I will tell you instantly, if I may believe that I am telling +you only, and not the whole household." + +"Of course I shall not talk of it to others. Do you think that I cannot +keep a secret?" + +"It is because I have promised to marry one woman, and because I love +another. I have told you everything now; and if you choose to say again +that I am fighting under false colours I will leave the castle before +you can see me again." + +"Mr Crosbie!" + +"Now you know it all, and may imagine whether or no I am very happy. I +think you said it was time to dress-suppose we go?" And without further +speech the two went off to their separate rooms. + +Crosbie, as soon as he was alone in his chamber, sat himself down in +his arm-chair, and went to work striving to make up his mind as to his +future conduct. It must not be supposed that the declaration just made +by him had been produced solely by his difficulty at the moment. The +atmosphere of Courcy Castle had been at work upon him for the last week +past. And every word that he had heard, and every word that he had +spoken, had tended to destroy all that was good and true within him, +and to foster all that was selfish and false. He had said to himself a +dozen times during that week that he never could be happy with Lily +Dale, and that he never could make her happy. And then he had used the +old sophistry in his endeavour to teach himself that it was right to do +that which he wished to do. Would it not be better for Lily that he +should desert her, than marry her against the dictates of his own +heart? And if he really did not love her, would he not be committing a +greater crime in marrying her than in deserting her? He confessed to +himself that he had been very wrong in allowing the outer world to get +such a hold upon him, that the love of a pure girl like Lily could not +suffice for his happiness. But there was the fact, and he found himself +unable to contend against it. If by any absolute self-sacrifice he +could secure Lily's well-being, he would not hesitate for a moment. But +would it be well to sacrifice her as well as himself? +He had discussed the matter in this way within his own breast, till he +had almost taught himself to believe that it was his duty to break off +his engagement with Lily; and he had also almost taught himself to +believe that a marriage with a daughter of the house of Courcy, would +satisfy his ambition and assist him in his battle with the world. That +Lady Alexandrina would accept him he felt certain, if he could only +induce her to forgive him for his sin in becoming engaged to Miss Dale. +How very prone she would be to forgiveness in this matter, he had not +divined, having not as yet learned how easily such a woman can forgive +such a sin, if the ultimate triumph be accorded to herself. + +And there was another reason which operated much with Crosbie, urging +him on in his present mood and wishes, though it should have given an +exactly opposite impulse to his heart. He had hesitated as to marrying +Lily Dale at once, because of the smallness of his income. Now he had a +prospect of considerable increase to that income. One of the +commissioners at his office had been promoted to some greater +commissionership, and it was understood by everybody that the secretary +at the General Committee Office would be the new commissioner. As to +that there was no doubt. But then the question had arisen as to the +place of secretary. Crosbie had received two or three letters on the +subject, and it seemed that the likelihood of his obtaining this step +in the world was by no means slight. It would increase his official +income from seven hundred a year to twelve, and would place him +altogether above the world. His friend, the present secretary, had +written to him, assuring him that no other probable competitor was +spoken of as being in the field against him. If such good fortune +awaited him, would it not smooth any present difficulty which lay in +the way of his marriage with Lily Dale? But, alas, he had not looked at +the matter in that light! Might not the countess help him to this +preferment? And if his destiny intended for him the good things of this +world-secretaryships, commissionerships, chairmanships, and such like, +would it not be well that he should struggle on in his upward path by +such assistance as good connections might give him? + +He sat thinking over it all in his own room on that evening. He had +written twice to Lily since his arrival at Courcy Castle. His first +letter has been given. His second was written much in the same tone; +though Lily, as she had read it, had unconsciously felt somewhat less +satisfied than she had been with the first. Expressions of love were +not wanting, but they were vague and without heartiness. They savoured +of insincerity, though there was nothing in the words themselves to +convict them. Few liars can lie with the full roundness and +self-sufficiency of truth; and Crosbie, bad as he was, had not yet +become bad enough to reach that perfection. He had said nothing to Lily +of the hopes of promotion which had been opened to him; but he had +again spoken of his own worldliness-acknowledging that he received an +unsatisfying satisfaction from the pomps and vanities of Courcy Castle. +In fact he was paving the way for that which he had almost resolved +that he would do, now he had told Lady Alexandrina that he loved her; +and he was obliged to confess to himself that the die was cast. + +As he thought of all this, there was not wanting to him some of the +satisfaction of an escape. Soon after making that declaration of love +at Allington he had begun to feel that in making it he had cut his +throat. He had endeavoured to persuade himself that he could live +comfortably with his throat cut in that way; and as long as Lily was +with him he would believe that he could do so; but as soon as he was +again alone he would again accuse himself of suicide. This was his +frame of mind even while he was yet at Allington, and his ideas on the +subject had become stronger during his sojourn at Courcy. But the +self-immolation had not been completed, and he now began to think that +he could save himself. I need hardly say that this was not all triumph +to him. Even had there been no material difficulty as to his desertion +of Lily-no uncle, cousin, and mother whose anger he must face-no vision +of a pale face, more eloquent of wrong in its silence than even uncle, +cousin, and mother, with their indignant storm of words-he was not +altogether heartless. How should he tell all this to the girl who had +loved him so well; who had so loved him, that, as he himself felt, her +love would fashion all her future life either for weal or for woe? + +"I am unworthy of her, and will tell her so," he said to himself. How +many a false hound of a man has endeavoured to salve his own conscience +by such mock humility? But he acknowledged at this moment, as he rose +from his seat to dress himself, that the die was cast, and that it was +open to him now to say what he pleased to Lady Alexandrina. + +"Others have gone through the same fire before," he said to himself, as +he walked downstairs, "and have come out scatheless." And then he +recalled to himself the names of various men of high repute in the +world who were supposed to have committed in their younger days some +such little mistake as that into which he had been betrayed. + +In passing through the hail he overtook Lady Julia de Guest, and was in +time to open for her the door of the drawing-room. He then remembered +that she had come into the billiard-room at one side, and had gone out +at the other, while he was standing with Alexandrina at the window. He +had not, however, then thought much of Lady Julia; and as he now stood +for her to pass by him through the door-way, he made to her some +indifferent remark. + +But Lady Julia was on some subjects a stern woman, and not without a +certain amount of courage. In the last week she had seen what had been +going on, and had become more and more angry. Though she had disowned +any family connection with Lily Dale, nevertheless she now felt for her +sympathy and almost affection. Nearly every day she had repeated +stiffly to the countess some incident of Crosbie's courtship and +engagement to Miss Dale-speaking of it as with absolute knowledge, as a +thing settled at all points. This she had done to the countess alone, +in the presence of the countess and Alexandrina, and also before all +the female guests of the castle. But what she had said was received +simply with an incredulous smile. + +"Dear me! Lady Julia," the countess had replied at last, + +"I shall begin to think you are in love with Mr Crosbie yourself; you +harp so constantly on this affair of his. One would think that young +ladies in your part of the world must find it very difficult to get +husbands, seeing that the success of one young lady is trumpeted so +loudly." For the moment, Lady Julia was silenced; but it was not easy +to silence her altogether when she had a subject for speech near her +heart. + +Almost all the Courcy world were assembled in the drawing-room as she +now walked into the room with Crosbie at her heels. When she found +herself near the crowd she turned round, and addressed him in a voice +more audible than that generally required for purposes of drawing-room +conversation. + +"Mr Crosbie," she said, "have you heard lately from our dear friend, +Lily Dale?" And she looked him full in the face, in a manner more +significant, probably, than even she had intended it to be. There was, +at once, a general hush in the room, and all eyes were turned upon her +and upon him. + +Crosbie instantly made an effort to bear the attack gallantly, but he +felt that he could not quite command his colour, or prevent a sudden +drop of perspiration from showing itself upon his brow. + +"I had a letter from Allington yesterday," he said. + +"I suppose you have heard of your brother's encounter with the bull? + +"The bull!" said Lady Julia. And it was instantly manifest to all that +her attack had been foiled and her flank turned. + +"Good gracious! Lady Julia, how very odd you are!" said the countess. + +"But what about the bull?" asked the Honourable George. + +"It seems that the earl was knocked down in the middle of one of his +own fields." + +"Oh, dear!" exclaimed Alexandrina. And sundry other exclamations were +made by all the assembled ladies. + +"But he wasn't hurt," said Crosbie. + +"A young man named Eames seems to have fallen from the sky and carried +off the earl on his back." + +"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" growled the other earl, as he heard of the +discomfiture of his brother peer. + +Lady Julia, who had received her own letters that day from Guestwick, +knew that nothing of importance had happened to her brother; but she +felt that she was foiled for that time. + +"I hope that there has not really been any accident," said Mr Gazebee, +with a voice of great solicitude. + +"My brother was quite well last night, thank you," said she. And then +the little groups again formed themselves, and Lady Julia was left +alone on the corner of a sofa. + +"Was that all an invention of yours, sir?" said Alexandrina to Crosbie. + +"Not quite. I did get a letter this morning from my friend Bernard +Dale-that old harridan's nephew; and Lord de Guest has been worried by +some of his animals. I wish I had told her that his stupid old neck had +been broken." + +"Fie, Mr Crosbie!" + +"What business has she to interfere with me? + +"But I mean to ask the same question that she asked, and you won't put +me off with a cock-and-bull story like that." But then, as she was +going to ask the question, dinner was announced. + +"And is it true that De Guest has been tossed by a bull?" said the +earl, as soon as the ladies were gone. He had spoken nothing during +dinner except what words he had muttered into the ear of Lady Dumbello. +It was seldom that conversation had many charms for him in his own +house; but there was a savour of pleasantry in the idea of Lord de +Guest having been tossed, by which even he was tickled. +"Only knocked down, I believe," said Crosbie. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" growled the earl; then he filled his glass, and allowed +some one else to pass the bottle. Poor man! There was not much left to +him now in the world which did amuse him. + +"I don't see anything to laugh at," said Plantagenet Palliser, who was +sitting at the earl's right hand, opposite to Lord Dumbello. + +"Don't you?" said the earl. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" + +"I'll be shot if I do. From all I hear De Guest is an uncommon good +farmer. And I don't see the joke of tossing a farmer merely because +he's a nobleman also. Do you?" and he turned round to Mr Gazebee, who +was sitting on the other side. The earl was an earl, and was also Mr +Gazebee's father-in-law. Mr Plantagenet Palliser was the heir to a +dukedom. Therefore, Mr Gazebee merely simpered, and did not answer the +question put to him. Mr Palliser said nothing more about it, nor did +the earl; and then the joke died away. + +Mr Plantagenet Palliser was the Duke of Omnium's heir-heir to that +nobleman's title and to his enormous wealth; and, therefore, was a man +of mark in the world. He sat in the House of Commons, of course. He was +about five-and-twenty years of age, and was, as yet, unmarried. He did +not hunt or shoot or keep a yacht, and had been heard to say that he +had never put a foot upon a race-course in his life. He dressed very +quietly, never changing the colour or form of his garments; and in +society was quiet, reserved, and very often silent. He was tall, +slight, and not ill-looking; but more than this cannot be said for his +personal appearance-except, indeed, this, that no one could mistake him +for other than a gentleman. With his uncle, the duke, he was on good +terms-that is to say, they had never quarrelled. A very liberal +allowance had been made to the nephew; but the two relatives had no +tastes in common, and did not often meet. Once a year Mr Palliser +visited the duke at his great country seat for two or three days, and +usually dined with him two or three times during the season in London. +Mr Palliser sat for a borough which was absolutely under the duke's +command; but had accepted his seat under the distinct understanding +that he was to take whatever part in politics might seem good to +himself. Under these well-understood arrangements, the duke and his +heir showed to the world quite a pattern of a happy family. + +"So different to the earl and Lord Porlock!" the people of West +Barsetshire used to say. For the estates, both of the duke and of the +earl, were situated in the western division of that county. + +Mr Palliser was chiefly known to the world as a rising politician. We +may say that he had everything at his command, in the way of pleasure, +that the world could offer him. He had wealth, position, power, and the +certainty of attaining the highest rank among, perhaps, the most +brilliant nobility of the world. He was courted by all who could get +near enough to court him. It is hardly too much to say that he might +have selected a bride from all that was most beautiful and best among +English women. If he would have bought race-horses, and have expended +thousands on the turf, he would have gratified his uncle by doing so. +He might have been the master of hounds, or the slaughterer of +hecatombs of birds. But to none of these things would he devote +himself. He had chosen to be a politician, and in that pursuit he +laboured with a zeal and perseverance which would have made his fortune +at any profession or in any trade. He was constant in committee-rooms +up to the very middle of August. He was rarely absent from any debate +of importance, and never from any important division. Though he seldom +spoke, he was always ready to speak if his purpose required it. No man +gave him credit for any great genius-few even considered that he could +become either an orator or a mighty statesman. But the world said that +he was a rising man, and old Nestor of the Cabinet looked on him as one +who would be able, at some far future day, to come among them as a +younger brother. Hitherto he had declined such inferior offices as had +been offered to him, biding his time carefully; and he was as yet tied +hand and neck to no party, though known to be liberal in all his +political tendencies. He was a great reader-not taking up a book here, +and another there, as chance brought books before him, but working +through an enormous course of books, getting up the great subject of +the world's history-filling himself full of facts-though perhaps not +destined to acquire the power of using those facts otherwise than as +precedents. He strove also diligently to become a linguist-not without +success, as far as a competent understanding of various languages. He +was a thin-minded, plodding, respectable man, willing to devote all his +youth to work, in order that in old age he might be allowed to sit +among the Councillors of the State. + +Hitherto his name had not been coupled by the world with that of any +woman whom he had been supposed to admire; but latterly it had been +observed that he had often been seen in the same room with Lady +Dumbello. It had hardly amounted to more than this; but when it was +remembered how undemonstrative were the two persons concerned-how +little disposed was either of them to any strong display of +feeling-even this was thought matter to be mentioned. He certainly +would speak to her from time to time almost with an air of interest; +and Lady Dumbello, when she saw that he was in the room, would be +observed to raise her head with some little show of life, and to look +round as though there were something there on which it might be worth +her while to allow her eyes to rest. When such innuendoes were abroad, +no one would probably make more of them than Lady de Courcy. Many, when +they heard that Mr Palliser was to be at the castle, had expressed +their surprise at her success in that quarter. Others, when they +learned that Lady Dumbello had consented to become he guest, had also +wondered greatly. But when it was ascertained that the two were to be +there together, her good-natured friends had acknowledged that she was +a very clever woman. To have either Mr Palliser or Lady Dumbello would +have been a feather in her cap; but to succeed in getting both, by +enabling each to know that the other would be there, was indeed a +triumph. As regards Lady Dumbello, however, the bargain was not fairly +carried out; for, after all, Mr Palliser came to Courcy Castle only for +two nights and a day, and during the whole of that day he was closeted +with sundry large blue-books. As for Lady de Courcy, she did not care +how he might be employed. Blue-books and Lady Dumbello were all the +same to her. Mr Palliser had been at Courcy Castle, and neither enemy +nor friend could deny the fact. + +This was his second evening; and as he had promised to meet his +constituents at Silverbridge at one p.m. on the following day, with the +view of explaining to them his own conduct and the political position +of the world in general; and as he was not to return from Silverbridge +to Courcy, Lady Dumbello, if she made any way at all, must take +advantage of the short gleam of sunshine which the present hour +afforded her. No one, however, could say that she showed any active +disposition to monopolise Mr Palliser's attention. When he sauntered +into the drawing-room she was sitting, alone, in a large, low chair, +made without arms, so as to admit the full expansion of her dress, but +hollowed and round at the back, so as to afford her the support that +was necessary to her. She had barely spoken three words since she had +left the dining-room, but the time had not passed heavily with her. +Lady Julia had again attacked the countess about Lily Dale and Mr +Crosbie, and Alexandrina, driven almost to rage, had stalked off to the +farther end of the room, not concealing her special concern in the +matter. + +"How I do wish they were married and done with," said the countess; +"and then we should hear no more about them." + +All of which Lady Dumbello heard and understood; and in all of it she +took a certain interest. She remembered such things, learning thereby +who was who, and regulating her own conduct by what she learned. She +was by no means idle at this or at other such times, going through, we +may say, a considerable amount of really hard work in her manner of +working. There she had sat speechless, unless when acknowledging by a +low word of assent some expression of flattery from those around her. +Then the door opened, and when Mr Palliser entered she raised her head, +and the faintest possible gleam of satisfaction might have been +discerned upon her features. But she made no attempt to speak to him; +and when, as he stood at the table, he took up a book and remained thus +standing for a quarter of an hour, she neither showed nor felt any +impatience. After that Lord Dumbello came in, and he stood at the table +without a book. Even then Lady Dumbello felt no impatience. + +Plantagenet Palliser skimmed through his little book, and probably +learned something. When he put it down he sipped a cup of tea, and +remarked to Lady de Courcy that he believed it was only twelve miles to +Silverbridge. + +"I wish it was a hundred and twelve," said the countess. + +"In that case I should be forced to start to-night," said Mr Palliser. + +"Then I wish it was a thousand and twelve," said Lady de Courcy. + +"In that case I should not have come at all," said Mr Palliser. He did +not mean to be uncivil, and had only stated a fact. + +"The young men are becoming absolute bears," said the countess to her +daughter Margaretta. + +He had been in the room nearly an hour when he did at last find himself +standing close to Lady Dumbello: close to her, and without any other +very near neighbour. + +"I should hardly have expected to find you here," he said. + +"Nor I you," she answered. + +"Though, for the matter of that, we are both near our own homes." + +"I am not near mine." + +"I meant Plumstead; your father's place." + +"Yes; that was my home once." + +"I wish I could show you my uncle's place. The castle is very fine, and +he has some good pictures." + +"So I have heard." + +"Do you stay here long?" + +"Oh, no. I go to Cheshire the day after tomorrow. Lord Dumbello is +always there when the hunting begins." + +"Ah, yes; of course. What a happy fellow he is; never any work to do! +His constituents never trouble him, I suppose? + +"I don't think they ever do, much." + +After that Mr Palliser sauntered away again, and Lady Dumbello passed +the rest of the evening in silence. It is to be hoped that they both +were rewarded by that ten minutes of sympathetic intercourse for the +inconvenience which they had suffered in coming to Courcy Castle. + +But that which seems so innocent to us had been looked on in a +different light by the stern moralists of that house. + +"By Jove!" said the Honourable George to his cousin, Mr Gresham, + +"I wonder how Dumbello likes it." + +"It seems to me that Dumbello takes it very easily." + +"There are some men who will take anything easily," said George, who, +since his own marriage, had learned to have a holy horror of such +wicked things. + +"She's beginning to come out a little," said Lady Clandidlem to Lady de +Courcy, when the two old women found themselves together over a fire in +some back sitting-room. + +"Still waters always run deep, you know." + +"I shouldn't at all wonder if she were to go off with him," said Lady +de Courcy. + +"He'll never be such a fool as that," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"I believe men will be fools enough for anything," said Lady de Courcy. + +"But, of course, if he did, it would come to nothing afterwards. I know +one who would not be sorry. If ever a man was tired of a woman, Lord +Dumbello is tired of her." + +But in this, as in almost everything else, the wicked old woman spoke +scandal. Lord Dumbello was still proud of his wife, and as fond of her +as a man can be of a woman whose fondness depends upon mere pride. + +There had not been much that was dangerous in the conversation between +Mr Palliser and Lady Dumbello, but I cannot say the same as to that +which was going on at the same moment between Crosbie and Lady +Alexandrina. She, as I have said, walked away in almost open dudgeon +when Lady Julia recommenced her attack about poor Lily, nor did she +return to the general circle during the evening. There were two huge +drawing-rooms at Courcy Castle, joined together by a narrow link of a +room, which might have been called a passage, ha it not been lighted by +two windows coming down to the floor, carpeted as were the +drawing-rooms, and warmed with a separate fireplace. Hither she betook +herself, and was son followed by her married sister Amelia. + +"That woman almost drives me mad," said Alexandrina, as they stood +together with their toes upon the fender. + +"But, my dear, you of all people should not allow yourself to be driven +mad on such a subject." + +"That's all very well, Amelia." + +"The question is this, my dear-what does Mr Crosbie mean to do?" + +"How should I know?" + +"If you don't know, it will be safer to suppose that he is going to +marry this girl; and in that case-" + +"Well, what in that case? Are you going to be another Lady Julia? What +do I care about the girl?" + +"I don't suppose you care much about the girl; and if you care as +little about Mr Crosbie, there's an end of it; only in that case, +Alexandrina-" + +"Well, what in that case? + +"You know I don't want to preach to you. Can't you tell me at once +whether you really like him? You and I have always been good friends." +And the married sister put her arm affectionately round the waist of +her who wished to be married. + +"I like him well enough." + +"And has he made any declaration to you?" + +"In a sort of a way he has. Hark, here he is!" And Crosbie, coming in +from the larger room, joined the sisters at the fireplace. + +"We were driven away by the clack of Lady Julia's tongue," said the +elder. + +"I never met such a woman," said Crosbie. + +"There cannot well be many like her," said Alexandrina. And after that +they all stood silent for a minute or two. Lady Amelia Gazebee was +considering whether or no she would do well to go and leave the two +together. If it were intended that Mr Crosbie should marry her sister, +it would certainly be well to give him an opportunity of expressing +such a wish on his own part. But if Alexandrina was simply making a +fool of herself, then it would be well for her to stay. + +"I suppose she would rather I should go," said the elder sister to +herself; and then, obeying the rule which should guide all our actions +from one to another, she went back and joined the crowd. + +"Will you come on into the other room?" said Crosbie. +"I think we are very well here," Alexandrina replied. + +"But I wish to speak to you-particularly," said he. + +"And cannot you speak here?" + +"No. They will be passing backwards and forwards." Lady Alexandrina +said nothing further, but led the way into the other large room. That +also was lighted, and there were in it four or live persons. Lady +Rosina was reading a work on the millennium, with a light to herself in +one corner. Her brother John was asleep in an arm-chair, and a young +gentleman and lady were playing chess. There was, however, ample room +for Crosbie and Alexandrina to take up a position apart. + +"And now, Mr Crosbie, what have you got to say to me? But, first, I +mean to repeat Lady Julia's question, as I told you that I should +do.-When did you hear last from Miss Dale?" + +"It is cruel in you to ask me such a question, after what. I have +already told you. You know that I have given to Miss Dale a promise of +marriage." + +"Very well, sir. I don't see why you should bring me in here to tell me +anything that is so publicly known as that. With such a herald as Lady +Julia it was quite unnecessary." + +"If you can only answer me in that tone I will make an end of it at +once. When I told you of my engagement, I told you also that another +woman possessed my heart. Am I wrong to suppose that you knew to whom I +alluded?" + +"Indeed, I did not, Mr Crosbie. I am no conjuror, and I have not +scrutinised you so closely as your friend Lady Julia." + +"It is you that I love. I am sure I need hardly say so now." + +"Hardly, indeed-considering that you are engaged to Miss Dale." + +"As to that I have, of course, to own that I have behaved +foolishly-worse than foolishly, if you choose to say so. You cannot +condemn me more absolutely than I condemn myself. But I have made up my +mind as to one thing. I will not marry where I do not love." Oh, if +Lily could have heard him as he then spoke! + +"It would be impossible for me to speak in terms too high of Miss Dale; +but I am quite sure that I could not make her happy as her husband." + +"Why did you not think of that before you asked her?" said Alexandrina. +But there was very little of condemnation in her tone. + +"I ought to have done so; but it is hardly for you to blame me with +severity. Had you, when we were last together in London-had you been +less-" + +"Less what?" + +"Less defiant," said Crosbie, "all this might perhaps have been +avoided." +Lady Alexandrina could not remember that she had been defiant; but, +however, she let that pass. + +"Oh, yes; of course it was my fault." + +"I went down there to Allington with my heart ill at ease, and now I +have fallen into this trouble. I tell you all as it has happened. It is +impossible that I should marry Miss Dale. It would be wicked in me to +do so, seeing that my heart belongs altogether to another. I have told +you who is that other; and now may I hope for an answer?" + +"An answer to what?" + +"Alexandrina, will you be my wife?" + +If it had been her object to bring him to a point-blank declaration and +proposition of marriage, she had certainly achieved her object now. And +she had that trust in her own power of management and in her mother's, +that she did not fear that in accepting him she would incur the risk of +being served as he was serving Lily Dale. She knew her own position and +his too well for that. If she accepted him she would in due course of +time become his wife-let Miss Dale and all her friends say what they +might to the contrary. As to that head she had no fear. But +nevertheless she did not accept him at once. Though she wished for the +prize, her woman's nature hindered her from taking it when it was +offered to her. + +"How long is it, Mr Crosbie," she said, "since you put the same +question to Miss Dale?" + +"I have told you everything, Alexandrina-as I promised that I would do. +If you intend to punish me for doing so-" + +"And I might ask another question. How long will it he before you put +the same question to some other girl?" + +He turned round as though to walk away from her in anger but when he +had gone half the distance to the door he returned. + +"By heaven!" he said, and he spoke somewhat roughly, too, "I'll have an +answer. You at any rate have nothing with which to reproach me. All +that I have done wrong, I have done through you, or on your behalf. You +have heard my proposal. Do you intend to accept it?" + +"I declare you startle me. If you demanded my money or my life, you +could not be more imperious." + +"Certainly not more resolute in my determination." + +"And if I decline the honour?" + +"I shall think you the most fickle of your sex." + +"And if I were to accept it?" + +"I would swear that you were the best, the dearest, and the sweetest of +women." + +"I would rather have your good opinion than your bad, certainly," said +Lady Alexandrina. And then it was understood by both of them that that +affair was settled. Whenever she was called on in future to speak of +Lily, she always called her, "that poor Miss Dale;" but she never again +spoke a word of reproach to her future lord about that little adventure. + +"I shall tell mamma, to-night," she said to him, as she bade him +good-night in some sequestered nook to which they had betaken +themselves. Lady Julia's eye was again on them as they came out from +the sequestered nook, but Alexandrina no longer cared for Lady Julia. + +"George, I cannot quite understand about that Mr Palliser. Isn't he to +be a duke, and oughtn't he to be a lord now?" This question was asked +by Mrs George de Courcy of her husband, when they found themselves +together in the seclusion of the nuptial chamber. + +"Yes; he'll be Duke of Omnium when the old fellow dies. I think he's +one of the slowest fellows I ever came across. He'll take deuced good +care of the property, though." + +"But, George, do explain it to me. It is so stupid not to understand, +and I am afraid of opening my mouth for fear of blundering." + +"Then keep your mouth shut, my dear. You'll learn all those sort of +things in time, and nobody notices it if you don't say anything." + +"Yes, but, George-I don't like to sit silent all the night. I'd sooner +be up here with a novel if I can't speak about anything." + +"Look at Lady Dumbello. She doesn't want to be always talking." + +"Lady Dumbello is very different from me. But do tell me, who is Mr +Palliser? + +"He's the duke's nephew. If he were the duke's son, he would be the +Marquis of Silverbridge." + +"And will he be plain Mister till his uncle dies?" + +"Yes, a very plain Mister." + +"What a pity for him. But, George-if I have a baby, and if he should be +a boy, and if-" + +"Oh, nonsense; it will be time enough to talk of that when he comes. +I'm going to sleep." + +CHAPTER XXIV + +A MOTHER-IN-LAW AND A FATHER-IN-LAW + + +On the following morning Mr Plantagenet Palliser was off upon his +political mission before breakfast-either that, or else some private +comfort was afforded to him in guise of solitary rolls and coffee. The +public breakfast at Courcy Castle was going on at eleven o'clock, and +at that hour Mr Palliser was already closeted with the Mayor of +Silverbridge. + +"I must get off by the train," said Mr Palliser. + +"Who is there to speak after me? + +"Well, I shall say a few words; and Growdy-he'll expect them to listen +to him. Growdy has always stood very firm by his grace, Mr Palliser." + +"Mind we are in the room sharp at one. And you can have a fly, for me +to get away to the station, ready in the yard. I won't go a moment +before I can help. I shall be just an hour and a half myself. No, thank +you, I never take any wine in the morning." And I may here state that +Mr Palliser did get away by the 3.45 train, leaving Mr Growdy still +talking on the platform. Constituents must be treated with. respect; +but time has become so scarce nowadays that that respect has to be +meted out by the quarter of an hour with parsimonious care. + +In the meantime there was more leisure at Courcy Caste. Neither the +countess nor Lady Alexandrina came down to breakfast, but their absence +gave rise to no special remark. Breakfast at the castle was a morning +meal at which people showed themselves, or did not show themselves, as +it pleased them. Lady Julia was there looking very glum, and Crosbie +was sitting next to his future sister-in-law Margaretta, who already +had placed herself on terms of close affection with him. As he finished +his tea she whispered into his ear, + +"Mr Crosbie, if you could spare half an hour, mamma would so like to +see you in her own room." Crosbie declared that he would be delighted +to wait upon her, and did in truth feel some gratitude in being +welcomed as a son-in-law into the house. And yet he felt also that he +was being caught, and that in ascending into the private domains of the +countess he would be setting the seal upon his own captivity. + +Nevertheless, he went with a smiling face and a light steps Lady +Margaretta ushering him the way. + +"Mamma," said she, "I have brought Mr Crosbie up to you. I did not know +that you were here, Alexandrina, or I should have warned him." + +The countess and her youngest daughter had been breakfasting together +in the elder lady's sitting-room, and were now seated in a very +graceful and well-arranged deshabille. The tea-cups out of which they +had been drinking were made of some elegant porcelain, the teapot and +cream-jug were of chased silver and as delicate in their sway. The +remnant of food consisted of morsels of French roll which had not even +been allowed to crumble themselves in a disorderly fashion, and of +infinitesimal pats of butter. If the morning meal of the two ladies had +been as unsubstantial as the appearance of the fragments indicated, it +must be presumed that they intended to lunch early. The countess +herself was arrayed in an elaborate morning wrapper of figured silk, +but the simple Alexandrina wore a plain white muslin peignoir, fastened +with pink ribbon. Her hair, which she usually carried in long rolls, +now hung loose over her shoulders, and certainly added something to her +stock of female charms. The countess got up as Crosbie entered and +greeted him with an open hand; but Alexandrina kept her seat, and +merely nodded at him a little welcome. + +"I must run down again," said Margaretta, "or I shall have left Amelia +with all the cares of the house upon her" . + +"Alexandrina has told me all about it," said the countess, with her +sweetest smile, "and I have given her my approval. I really do think +you will suit each other very well." + +"I am very much obliged to you," said Crosbie. + +"I'm sure at any rate of this-that she will suit me very well." + +"Yes; I think she will. She is a good sensible girl." + +"Psha, mamma; pray don't go on in that Goody Twoshoes sort of way." + +"So you are, my dear. If you were not it would not be well for you to +do as you are going to do. If you were giddy and harum-scarum, and +devoted to rank and wealth and that sort of thing, it would not be well +for you to marry a commoner without fortune. I'm sure Mr Crosbie will +excuse me for saying so much as that." + +"Of course I know," said Crosbie, + +"that I had no right to look so high." + +"Well; we'll say nothing more about it," said the countess. + +"Pray don't," said Alexandrina. + +"It sounds so like a sermon." + +"Sit down, Mr Crosbie," said the countess, "and let us have a little +conversation. She shall sit by you, if you like it. Nonsense, +Alexandrina-if he asks it!" + +"Don't, mamma-I mean to remain where I am." + +"Very well, my dear-then remain where you are. She is a wilful girl, Mr +Crosbie; as you will say when you hear that she has told me all that +you told her last night." Upon hearing this, he changed colour a +little, but said nothing. + +"She has told me," continued the countess, "about that young lady at +Allington. Upon my word, I'm afraid you have been very naughty." + +"I have been foolish, Lady de Courcy." + +"Of course; I did not mean anything worse than that. Yes, you have been +foolish-amusing yourself in a thoughtless way, you know, and, perhaps, +a little piqued because a certain lady was not to be won so easily as +your Royal Highness wished. Well, now, all that must be settled, you +know, as quickly as possible. I don't want to ask any indiscreet +questions; but if the young lady has really been left with any idea +that you meant anything, don't you think you should undeceive her at +once?" + +"Of course he will, mamma." + +"Of course you will; and it will be a great comfort to Alexandrina to +know that the matter is arranged. You hear what Lady Julia is saying +almost every hour of her life. Now, of course, Alexandrina does not +care what an old maid like Lady Julia may say; but it will be better +for all parties that the rumour should be put a stop to. + +"If the earl were to hear it, he might, you know-" And the countess +shook her head, thinking that she could thus best indicate what the +earl might do, if he were to take it into his head to do anything. + +Crosbie could not bring himself to hold any very confidential +intercourse with the countess about Lily; but he gave a muttered +assurance that he should, as a matter of course, make known the truth +to Miss Dale with as little delay as possible. He could not say exactly +when he would write, nor whether he would write to her or to her +mother; but the thing should be done immediately on his return to town. + +"If it will make the matter easier, I will write to Mrs Dale," said the +countess. But to this scheme Mr Crosbie objected very strongly. + +And then a few words were said about the earl. "I will tell him this +afternoon," said the countess; +"and then you can see him tomorrow morning. I don't suppose he will say +very much, you know; and perhaps he may think-you won't mind my saying +it, I'm sure-that Alexandrina might have done better. But I don't +believe that he'll raise any strong objection. There will be something +about settlements, and that sort of thing, of course." Then the +countess went away, and Alexandrina was left with her lover for half an +hour. When the half-hour was over, he felt that he would have given all +that he had in the world to have back the last four-and-twenty hours of +his existence. But he had no hope. To jilt Lily Dale would, no doubt, +be within his power, but he knew that he could not jilt Lady +Alexandrina de Courcy. + +On the next morning at twelve o'clock he had his interview with the +father, and a very unpleasant interview it was. He was ushered into the +earl's room, and found the great peer standing on the rug, with his +back to the fire, and his hands in his breeches pockets. + +"So you mean to marry my daughter?" said he. "I'm not very well, as you +see; I seldom am." + +These last words were spoken in answer to Crosbie's greeting. Crosbie +had held out his hand to the earl, and had carried his point so far +that the earl had been forced to take one of his own out of his pocket, +and give it to his proposed son-in-law. + +"If your lordship has no objection. I have, at any rate, her permission +to ask for yours." + +"I believe you have not any fortune, have you? She's got none; of +course you know that?" +"I have a few thousand pounds, and I believe she has as much." + +"About as much as will buy bread to keep the two of you from starving. +It's nothing to me. You can marry her if you like; only, look here, +I'll have no nonsense. I've had an old woman in with me this +morning-one of those that are here in the house-telling me some story +about some other girl that you have made a fool of. It's nothing to me +how much of that sort of thing you may have done, so that you do none +of it here. But-if you play any prank of that kind with me, you'll find +that you've made a mistake." + +Crosbie hardly made any answer to this, but got himself out of the room +as quickly as he could. + +"You'd better talk to Gazebee about the trifle of money you've got," +said the earl. Then he dismissed the subject from his mind, and no +doubt imagined that he had fully done his duty by his daughter. + +On the day after this, Crosbie was to go. On the last afternoon, +shortly before dinner, he was waylaid by Lady Julia, who had passed the +day in preparing traps to catch him. + +"Mr Crosbie," she said, "let me have one word with you. Is this true?" + +"Lady Julia," he said, "I really do not know why you should inquire +into my private affairs." + +"Yes, sir, you do know. you know very well. That poor young lady who +has no father and no brother, is my neighbour, and her friends are my +friends. She is a friend of my own, and being an old woman, I have a +right to speak for her. If this is true, Mr Crosbie, you are treating +her like a villain." + +"Lady Julia, I really must decline to discuss the matter with you." + +"I'll tell everybody what a villain you are; I will, indeed-a villain +and a poor weak silly fool. She was too good for you; that's what she +was." Crosbie, as Lady Julia was addressing to him the last words, +hurried upstairs away from her, but her ladyship, standing on a +landing-place, spoke up loudly, so that no word should be lost on her +retreating enemy. + +"We positively must get rid of that woman," the countess, who heard it +all, said to Margaretta. "She is disturbing the house and disgracing +herself every day." + +"She went to papa this morning, mamma." + +"She did not get much by that move," said the countess. + +On the following morning Crosbie returned to town, but just before he +left the castle he received a third letter from Lily Dale. + +"I have been rather disappointed at not hearing this morning," said +Lily, "for I thought the postman would have brought: me a letter. But I +know you'll be a better boy when you get back to London, and I won't +scold you. Scold you, indeed! No; I'll never scold you, not though I +shouldn't hear for a month." + +He would have given all that he had in the world, three times told, if +he could have blotted out that visit to Courcy Castle from the past +facts of his existence. + +CHAPTER XXV + +ADOLPHUS CROSBIE SPENDS AN EVENING AT HIS CLUB + + +Crosbie, as he was being driven from the castle to the nearest station, +in a dog-cart hired from the hotel, could not keep himself from +thinking of that other morning, not yet a fortnight past, on which he +had left Allington; and as he thought of it he knew that he was a +villain. On this morning Alexandrina had not come out from the house to +watch his departure, and catch the last glance of his receding figure. +As he had not started very early she had sat with him at the breakfast +table; but others also had sat there, and when he got up to go, she did +no more than smile softly and give him her hand. It had been already +settled that he was to spend his Christmas at Courcy; as it had been +also settled that he was to spend it at Allington. Lady Amelia was, of +all the family, the most affectionate to him, and perhaps of them all +she was the one whose affection was worth the most. She was not a woman +endowed with a very high mind or with very noble feelings. She had +begun life trusting to the nobility of her blood for everything, and +declaring somewhat loudly among her friends that her father's rank and +her mother's birth imposed on her the duty of standing closely by her +own order. Nevertheless, at the age of thirty-three she had married her +father's man of business, under circumstances which were not altogether +creditable to her. But she had done her duty in her new sphere of life +with some constancy and a fixed purpose; and now that her sister was +going to marry, as she had done, a man much below herself in social +standing, she was prepared to do her duty as a sister and a +sister-in-law. + +"We shall be up in town in November, and of course you'll come to us at +once. Albert Villa, you know, in Hamilton Terrace, St. John's Wood. We +dine at seven, and on Sundays at two; and you'll always find a place. +Mind you come to us, and make yourself quite at home. I do so hope you +and Mortimer will get on well together." + +"I'm sure we shall," said Crosbie. But he had had higher hopes in +marrying into this noble family than that of becoming intimate with +Mortimer Gazebee. What those hopes were he could hardly define to +himself now that he had brought himself so near to the fruition of +them. Lady de Courcy had certainly promised to write to her first +cousin who was Under-Secretary of State for India, with reference to +that secretaryship at the General Committee Office; but Crosbie, when +he came to weigh in his mind what good might result to him from this, +was disposed to think that his chance of obtaining the promotion would +be quite as good without the interest of the Under-Secretary of State +for India as with it. Now that he belonged, as we may say, to this +noble family, he could hardly discern what were the advantages which he +had expected from this alliance. He had said to himself that it would +be much to have a countess for a mother-in-law; but now, even already, +although the possession to which he had looked was not yet garnered, he +was beginning to tell himself that the thing was not worth possessing. + +As he sat in the train, with a newspaper in his hand, he went on +acknowledging to himself that he was a villain. Lady Julia had spoken +the truth to him on the stairs at Courcy, and so he confessed over and +over again. But he was chiefly angry with himself for this-that he had +been a villain without gaining anything by his villany; that he had +been a villain, and was to lose so much by his villany. He made +comparison between Lily and Alexandrina, and owned to himself, over and +over again, that Lily would make the best wife that a man could take to +his boom. As to Alexandrina, he knew the thinness of her character. She +would stick by him, no doubt; and in a circuitous, discontented, +unhappy way, would probably be true to her duties as a wife and mother. +She would be nearly such another as Lady Amelia Gazebee. But was that a +prize sufficiently rich to make him contented with his own prowess and +skill in winning it? And was that a prize sufficiently rich to justify +him to himself for his terrible villany? Lily Dale he had loved; and he +now declared to himself that he could have continued to love her +through his whole life. But what was there for any man to love in +Alexandrina de Courcy? + +While resolving, during his first four or five days at the castle, that +he would throw Lily Dale overboard, he had contrived to quiet his +conscience by inward allusions to sundry heroes of romance. He had +thought of Lothario, Don Juan, and of Lovelace; and had told himself +that the world had ever been full of such heroes. And the world, too, +had treated such heroes well; not punishing them at all as villains, +but caressing them rather, and calling them curled darlings. Why should +not he be a curled darling as well as another? Ladies had ever been +fond of the Don Juan character, and Don Juan had generally been popular +with men also. And then he named to himself a dozen modern +Lotharios-men who were holding their heads well above water, although +it was known that they had played this lady false, and brought that +other one to death's door, or perhaps even to death itself. War and +love were alike, and the world was prepared to forgive any guile to +militants in either camp. + +But now that he had done the deed he found himself forced to look at it +from quite another point of view. Suddenly that character of Lothario +showed itself to him in a different light, and one in which it did not +please him to look at it as belonging to himself. He began to feel that +it would be almost impossible for him to write that letter to Lily, +which it was absolutely necessary that he should write. He was in a +position in which his mind would almost turn itself to thoughts of +self-destruction as the only means of escape. A fortnight ago he was a +happy man, having everything before him that a man ought to want; and +now-now that he was the accepted son-in-law of an earl, and the +confident expectant of high promotion-he was the most miserable, +degraded wretch in the world! + +He changed his clothes at his lodgings in Mount Street and went down to +his club to dinner. He could, at any rate, do nothing that night. His +letter to Allington must, no doubt, be written at once; but, as he +could not send it before the next night's post, he was not forced to +set to work upon it that evening. As he walked along Piccadilly on his +way to St. James's Square, it occurred to him that it might be well to +write a short line to Lily, telling her nothing of the truth-a note +written as though his engagement with her was still unbroken, but yet +written with care, saying nothing about that engagement, so as to give +him a little time. Then he thought that he would telegraph to Bernard +and tell everything to him. Bernard would, of course, be prepared to +avenge his cousin in some way, but for such vengeance Crosbie felt that +he should care little. Lady Julia had told him that Lily was without +father or brother, thereby accusing him of the basest cowardice. + +"I wish she had a dozen brothers," he said to himself. But he hardly +knew why he expressed such a wish. + +He returned to London on the last day of October, and he found the +streets at the West End nearly deserted. He thought, therefore, that he +should be quite alone at his club, but as he entered the dinner room he +saw one of his oldest and most intimate friends standing before the +fire. Fowler Pratt was the man who had first brought him into +Sebright's, and had given him almost his earliest start on his +successful career in life. Since that time he and his friend Fowler +Pratt had lived in close communion, though Pratt had always held a +certain ascendancy in their friendship. He was in age a few years +senior to Crosbie, and was in truth a man of better parts. But he was +less ambitious, less desirous of shining in the world, and much less +popular with men in general. He was possessed of a moderate private +fortune on which he lived in a quiet, modest manner, and was unmarried, +not likely to marry, inoffensive, useless, and prudent. For the first +few years of Crosbie's life in London he had lived very much with his +friend Pratt, and had been accustomed to depend much on his friend's +counsel; but latterly, since he had himself become somewhat noticeable, +he had found more pleasure in the society of such men as Dale, who were +not his superiors either in age or wisdom. But there had been no +coolness between him and Pratt, and now they met with perfect +cordiality. + +"I thought you were down in Barsetshire," said Pratt. + +"And I thought you were in Switzerland." + +"I have been in Switzerland," said Pratt. + +"And I have been in Barsetshire," said Crosbie. Then they ordered their +dinner together. + +"And so you're going to be married?" said Pratt, when the waiter had +carried away the cheese. + +"Who told you that?" + +"Well, but you are? Never mind who told me, if I was told the truth." + +"But if it be not true?" + +"I have heard it for the last month," said Pratt, "and it has been +spoken of as a thing certain; and it is true; is it not? + +"I believe it is," said Crosbie, slowly. + +"Why, what on earth is the matter with you, that you speak of it in +that way? Am I to congratulate you, or am I not? The lady, I'm told, is +a cousin of Dale's." + +Crosbie had turned his chair from the table round to the fire, and said +nothing in answer to this. He sat with his glass of sherry in his hand, +looking at the coals, and thinking whether it would not be well that he +should tell the whole story to Pratt. No one could give him better +advice; and no one, as far as he knew his friend, would be less shocked +at the telling of such a story. Pratt had no romance about women, and +had never pretended to very high sentiments. + +"Come up into the smoking-room and I'll tell you all about it," said +Crosbie. So they went off together, and, as the smoking-room was +untenanted, Crosbie was able to tell his story. + +He found it very hard to tell-much harder than he had beforehand +fancied. + +"I have got into terrible trouble," he began by saying. Then he told +how he had fallen suddenly in love with Lily, how, he had been rash and +imprudent, how nice she was-" infinitely too good for such a man as I +am," he said-how she had accepted him, and then how he had repented. + +"I should have told you beforehand," he then said, "that I was already +half engaged to Lady Alexandrina de Courcy." The reader, however, will +understand that this half engagement was a fiction. + +"And now you mean that you are altogether engaged to her?" + +"Exactly so." + +"And that Miss Dale must be told that, on second thoughts, you have +changed your mind?" + +"I know that I have behaved very badly," said Crosbie. + +"Indeed you have," said his friend. + +"It is one of those troubles in which a man finds himself involved +almost before he knows where he is." + +"Well; I can't look at it exactly in that light. A man may amuse +himself with a girl, and I can understand his disappointing her and not +offering to marry her-though even that sort of thing isn't much to my +taste. But, by George, to make an offer of marriage to such a girl as +that in September, to live for a month in her family as her affianced +husband, and then coolly go away to another house in October, and make +an offer to another girl of higher rank-" + +"You know very well that that has had nothing to do with it." + +"It looks very like it. And how are you going to communicate these +tidings to Miss Dale?" + +"I don't know," said Crosbie, who was beginning to be very sore. + +"And you have quite made up your mind that you'll stick to the earl's +daughter? + +The idea of jilting Alexandrina instead of Lily had never as yet +presented itself to Crosbie, and now, as he thought of it, he could not +perceive that it was feasible. + +"Yes," he said, "I shall marry Lady Alexandrina-that is, if I do not +cut the whole concern, and my own throat into the bargain." + +"If I were in your shoes I think I should cut the whole concern. I +could not stand it. What do you mean to say to Miss Dale's uncle? + +"I don't care a- for Miss Dale's uncle," said, Crosbie. + +"If he were to walk in at that door this moment, I would tell him the +whole story, without-" + +As he was yet speaking, one of the club servants opened the door of the +smoking-room, and seeing Crosbie seated in a lounging-chair near the +fire, went up to him with a gentleman's card. Crosbie took the card and +read the name. + +"Mr Dale, Allington." + +"The gentleman is in the waiting-room," said the servant. + +Crosbie for the moment was struck dumb. He had declared that very +moment that he should feel no personal disinclination to meet Mr Dale, +and now that gentleman was within the walls of the club, waiting to see +him! + +"Who's that?" asked Pratt. And then Crosbie handed him the card. + +"Whew-w-w-hew," whistled Pratt. + +"Did you tell the gentleman I was here?" asked Crosbie. + +"I said I thought you were upstairs, sir." + +"That will do," said Pratt. + +"The gentleman will no doubt wait for a minute." And then the servant +went out of the room. + +"Now, Crosbie, you must make up your mind. By one of these women and +all her friends you will ever be regarded as a rascal, and they of +course will look out to punish you with such punishment as may come to +their hands. You must now choose which shall be the sufferer." + +The man was a coward at heart. The reflection that he might, even now, +at this moment, meet the old squire on pleasant terms-or at any rate +not on terms of defiance, pleaded more strongly in Lily's favour than +had any other argument since Crosbie had first made up his mind to +abandon her. He did not fear personal ill-usage-he was not afraid lest +he should be kicked or beaten; but he did not dare to face the just +anger of the angry man. + +"If I were you," said Pratt, + +"I would not go down to that man at the present moment for a trifle." + +"But what can I do?" + +"Shirk away out of the club. Only if you do that it seems to me that +you'll have to go on shirking for the rest of your life." + +"Pratt, I must say that I expected something more like friendship from +you." + +"What can I do for you? There are positions in which it is impossible +to help a man. I tell you plainly that you have behaved very badly. I +do not see that I can help you." + +"Would you see him?" + +"Certainly not, if I am to be expected to take your part." + +"Take any part you like-only tell him the truth." + +"And what is the truth? + +"I was part engaged to that other girl before; and then, when I came to +think of it, I knew that I was not fit to marry Miss Dale. I know I +have behaved badly; but, Pratt, thousands have done the same thing +before." + +"I can only say that I have not been so unfortunate as to reckon any of +those thousands among my friends." + +"You mean to tell me, then, that you are going to turn your back on +me?" said Crosbie. + +"I haven't said anything of the kind. I certainly won't undertake to +defend you, for I don't see that your conduct admits of defence. I will +see this gentleman if you wish it, and tell him anything that you +desire me to tell him." + +At this moment the servant returned with a note for Crosbie. Mr Dale +had called for paper and envelope, and sent up to him the following +missive-" Do you intend to come down to me? I know that you are in the +house." ' + +"For heaven's sake go to him," said Crosbie. + +"He is well aware that I was deceived about his niece-that I thought he +was to give her some fortune. He knows all about that, and that when I +learned from him that she was to have nothing-" + +"Upon my word, Crosbie, I wish you could find another messenger." + +"Ah! you do not understand," said Crosbie in his agony. + +"You think that I am inventing this plea about her fortune now. It +isn't so. He will understand. 'We have talked all this over before, and +he knew how terribly I was disappointed. Shall I wait for you here, or +will you come to my lodgings? Or I will go down to the Beaufort, and +will wait for you there." And it was finally arranged that he should +get himself out of this club and wait at the other for Pratt's report +of the interview. + +"Do you go down first," said Crosbie. + +"Yes: I had better," said Pratt. + +"Otherwise you may be seen. Mr Dale would have his eye upon you, and +there would be a row in the house." There was a smile of sarcasm on +Pratt's face as he spoke which angered Crosbie even in his misery, and +made him long to tell his friend that he would not trouble him with +this mission-.-that he would manage his own affairs himself; but he was +weakened and mentally humiliated by the sense of his own rascality, and +had already lost the power of asserting himself, and of maintaining his +ascendancy. He was beginning to recognise the fact that he had done +that for which he must endure to be kicked, to be kicked morally if not +materially; and that it was no longer possible for him to hold his head +up without shame. + +Pratt took Mr Dale's note in his hand and went down into the stranger's +room. There he found the squire standing, so that he could see through +the open door of the room to the foot of the stairs down which Crosbie +must descend before he could leave the club. As a measure of first +precaution the ambassador closed the door; then he bowed to Mr Dale, +and asked him if he would take a chair. + +"I wanted to see Mr Crosbie," said the squire. + +"I have your note to that gentleman in my hand," said he. + +"He has thought it better that you should have this interview with +me-and under all the circumstances perhaps it is better." + +"Is he such a coward that he dare not see me?" + +"There are some actions, Mr Dale, that will make a coward of any man. +My friend Crosbie is, I take it, brave enough in the ordinary sense of +the word, but he has injured you." + +"It is all true, then?" + +"Yes, Mr Dale; I fear it is all true." + +"And you call that man your friend! Mr-; I don't know what your name +is." + +"Pratt-Fowler Pratt. I have known Crosbie for fourteen years-ever since +he was a boy; and it is not my way, Mr Dale, to throw over an old +friend under any circumstances." + +"Not if he committed a murder." + +"No; not though he committed a murder." + +"If what I hear is true, this man is worse than a murderer." + +"Of course, Mr Dale, I cannot know what you have heard. I believe that +Mr Crosbie has behaved very badly to your niece, Miss Dale; I believe +that he was engaged to marry her, or, at any rate, that some such +proposition had been made." + +"Proposition! Why, sir, it was a thing so completely understood that +everybody knew it in the county. It was so positively fixed that there +was no secret about it. Upon my honour, Mr Pratt, I can't as yet +understand it. If I remember right, its not a fortnight since he left +my house at Allington-not a fortnight. And that poor girl was with him +on the morning of his going as his betrothed bride. Not a fortnight +since! And now I've had a letter from an old family friend telling me +that he is going to marry one of Lord de Courcy's daughters! I went +instantly off to Courcy, and found that he had started for London. Now, +I have followed him here; and you tell me it's all true." + +"I am afraid it is, Mr Dale; too true." + +"I don't understand it; I don't, indeed. I cannot bring myself to +believe that the man who was sitting the other day at my table should +be so great a scoundrel. Did he mean it all the time that he was there?" + +"No; certainly not. Lady Alexandrina de Courcy was, I believe, an old +friend of his-with whom, perhaps, he had had some lover's quarrel. On +his going to Courcy they made it up, and this is the result." + +"And that is to be sufficient for my poor girl?" + +"You will, of course, understand that I am not defending Mr Crosbie. +The whole affair is very sad-very sad, indeed. I can only say, in his +excuse, that he is not the first man who has behaved badly to a lady." + +"And that is his message to me, is it? And that is what I am to tell my +niece? You have been deceived by a scoundrel. But what then? You are +not the first! Mr Pratt, I give you my word as a gentleman, I do not +understand it. I have lived a good deal out of the world, and am, +therefore, perhaps; more astonished than I ought to be." + +"Mr Dale, I feel for you-" + +"Feel for me! What is to become of my girl? And do you suppose that I +will let this other marriage go on; that I will not tell the De +Courcys, and all the world at large, what sort of a man this is-that I +will not get at him to punish him? Does he think that I will put up +with this?" + +"I do not know what he thinks; I must only beg that you will not mix me +up in the matter-as though I were a participator in his offence." + +"Will you tell him from me that I desire to see him?" + +"I do not think that that would do any good." + +"Never mind, sir; you have brought me his message; will you have the +goodness now to take back mine to him?" + +"Do you mean at once-this evening-now?" + +"Yes, at once-this evening-now-this minute." + +"Ah; he has left the club; he is not here now; he went when I came to +you." + +"Then he is a coward as well as a scoundrel." In answer to which +assertion, Mr Fowler Pratt merely shrugged his shoulders. + +"He is a coward as well as a scoundrel. Will you have the kindness to +tell your friend from me that he is a coward and a scoundrel-and a +liar, sir." + +"If it be so, Miss Dale is well quit of her engagement." + +"That is your consolation, is it? That may be all very well nowadays; +but when I was a young man, I would sooner have burnt out my tongue +than have spoken in such a way on such a subject. I would, indeed. +Good-night, Mr Pratt. Pray make your friend understand that he has not +yet seen the last of the Dales; although, as you hint, the ladies of +that family will no doubt have learned that he is not fit to associate +with them." Then, taking up his hat, the squire made his way out of the +club. + +"I would not have done it," said Pratt to himself, "for all the beauty, +and all the wealth, and all the rank that ever were owned by a woman." + +CHAPTER XXVI + +LORD DE COURCY IN THE BOSOM OF HIS FAMILY + + +Lady Julia De Guest had not during her life written many letters to Mr +Dale of Allington, nor had she ever been very fond of him. But when she +felt certain how things were going at Courcy, or rather, as we may say, +how they had already gone, she took pen in hand, and set herself to +work, doing, as she conceived, her duty by her neighbour. + +MY DEAR MR DALE (she said)-I believe I need make no secret of having +known that your niece Lilian is engaged to Mr Crosbie, of London. I +think it proper to warn you that if this be true Mr Crosbie is behaving +himself in a very improper manner here. I am not a person who concern +myself much in the affairs of other people; and under ordinary +circumstances, the conduct of Mr Crosbie would be nothing to me-or, +indeed, less than nothing; but I do to you as I would wish that others +should do unto me. I believe it is only too true that Mr Crosbie has +proposed to Lady Alexandrina de Courcy, and been accepted by her. I +think you will believe that I would not say this without warrant, and +if there be anything in it, it may be well, for the poor young lady's +sake, that you should put yourself in the way of learning the truth. + +Believe me to be yours sincerely, + + JULIA DE GUEST. + +COURCY CASTLE, Thursday. + +The squire had never been very fond of any of the De Guest family, and +had, perhaps, liked Lady Julia the least of them all. He was wont to +call her a meddling old woman-remembering her bitterness and pride in +those now long bygone days in which the gallant major had run off with +Lady Fanny. When he first received this letter, he did not, on the +first reading of it, believe a word of its contents. + +"Cross-grained old harridan," he said out loud to his nephew. + +"Look what that aunt of yours has written to me." Bernard read the +letter twice, and as he did so his face became hard and angry. + +"You don't mean to say you believe it?" said the squire. + +"I don't think it will be safe to disregard it." + +"What! you think it possible that your friend is doing as she says." + +"It is certainly possible. He was angry when he found that Lily had no +fortune." + +"Heavens, Bernard And you can speak of it in that way?" + +"I don't say that it is true; but I think we should look to it. I will +go to Courcy Castle and learn the truth." + +The squire at last decided that he would go. He went to Courcy Castle, +and found that Crosbie had started two hours before his arrival. He +asked for Lady Julia, and learned from her that Crosbie had actually +left the house as the betrothed husband of Lady Alexandrina. + +"The countess, I am sure, will not contradict it, if you will see her," +said Lady Julia. But this the squire was unwilling to do. He would not +proclaim the wretched condition of his niece more loudly than was +necessary, and therefore he started on his pursuit of Crosbie. What was +his success on that evening we have already learned. + +Both Lady Alexandrina and her mother heard of Mr Dale's arrival at the +castle, but nothing was said between them on the subject. Lady Amelia +Gazebee heard of it also, and she ventured to discuss the matter with +her sister. + +"You don't know exactly how far it went, do you?" + +"No; yes-not exactly, that is," said Alexandrina. + +"I suppose he did say something about marriage to the girl?" + +"Yes, I'm afraid he did." + +"Dear, dear! It's very unfortunate. What sort of people are those +Dales? I suppose he talked to you about them." + +"No, he didn't; not very much. I daresay she is an artful, sly thing! +It's a great pity men should go on in such a way." + +"Yes, it is," said Lady Amelia. + +"And I do suppose that in this case the blame has been more with him +than with her. It's only right I should tell you that." + +"But what can I do?" + +"I don't say you can do anything; but it's as well you should know." + +"But I don't know, and you don't know; and I can't see that there is +any use talking about it now. I knew him a long while before she did, +and if she has allowed him to make a fool of her, it isn't my fault." + +"Nobody says it is, my dear." + +"But you seem to preach to me about it. What can I do for the girl? The +fact is, he don't care for her a bit, and never did." + +"Then he shouldn't have told her that he did." + +"That's all very well, Amelia; but people don't always do exactly all +that they ought to do. I suppose Mr Crosbie isn't the first man that +has proposed to two ladies. I dare say it was wrong, but I can't help +it. As to Mr Dale coming here with a tale of his niece's wrongs, I +think it very absurd-very absurd indeed. It makes it look as though +there had been a scheme to catch Mr Crosbie, and it's my belief that +there was such a scheme." + +"I only hope that there'll be no quarrel." +"Men don't fight duels nowadays, Amelia." + +"But do you remember what Frank Gresham did to Mr Moffat when he +behaved so badly to poor Augusta?" + +"Mr Crosbie isn't afraid of that kind of thing. And I always thought +that Frank was very wrong-very wrong indeed. What's the good of two men +beating each other in the street? + +"Well; I'm sure I hope there'll be no quarrel. But I own I don't like +the look of it. You see the uncle must have known all about it, and +have consented to the marriage, or he would not have come here." + +"I don't see that it can make any difference to me, Amelia." + +"No, my dear, I don't see that it can. We shall be up in town soon, and +I will see as much as possible of Mr Crosbie. The marriage, I hope, +will take place soon." + +"He talks of February." + +"Don't put it off, Alley, whatever you do. There are so many slips, you +know, in these things." + +"I'm not a bit afraid of that," said Alexandrina, sticking up her head. + +"I dare say not; and you may be sure that we will keep an eye on him. +Mortimer will get him up to dine with us as often as possible, and as +his leave of absence is all over, he can't get out of town. He's to be +here at Christmas, isn't he?" + +"Of course he is." + +"Mind you keep him to that. And as to these Dales, I would be very +careful, if I were you, not to say anything unkind of them to any one. +It sounds badly in your position." And with this last piece of advice +Lady Amelia Gazebee allowed the subject to drop. + +On that day Lady Julia returned to her own home. Her adieux to the +whole family at Courcy Castle were very cold, but about Mr Crosbie and +his lady-love at Allington she said no further word to any of them. +Alexandrina did not show herself at all on the occasion, and indeed had +not spoken to her enemy since that evening on which she had felt +herself constrained to retreat from the drawing-room. + +"Good-bye," said the countess. + +"You have been so good to come, and we have enjoyed it so much." + +"I thank you very much. Good-morning," said Lady Julia, with a stately +courtesy. + +"Pray remember me to your brother. I wish we could have seen him; I +hope he has not been hurt by the-the bull." And then Lady Julia went +her way. + +"What a fool I have been to have that woman in the house," said the +countess, before the door was closed behind her guest's back. +"Indeed you have," said Lady Julia, screaming back through the passage. +Then there was a long silence, then a suppressed titter, and after that +a loud laugh. + +"Oh, mamma, what shall we do?" said Lady Amelia. + +"Do!" said Margaretta, "why should we do anything? She has heard the +truth for once in her life." + +"Dear Lady Dumbello, what will you think of us?" said the countess, +turning round to another guest, who was also just about to depart. + +"Did any one ever know such a woman before? + +"I think she's very nice," said Lady Dumbello, smiling. + +"I can't quite agree with you there," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"But I do believe she means to do her best. She is very charitable, and +all that sort of thing." + +"I'm sure I don't know," said Rosina. + +"I asked her for a subscription to the mission for putting down the +Papists in the west of Ireland, and she refused me point-blank." + +"Now, my dear, if you're quite ready," said Lord Dumbello, coming into +the room. Then there was another departure; but on this occasion the +countess waited till the doors were shut, and the retreating footsteps +were no longer heard. + +"Have you observed," said she to Lady Clandidlem, "that she has not +held her head up since Mr Palliser went away?" + +"Indeed I have," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"As for poor Dumbello, he's the blindest creature I ever saw in my +life." + +"We shall hear of something before next May," said Lady de Courcy, +shaking her head; "but for all that she'll never be Duchess of Omnium." + +"I wonder what your mamma will say of me when I go away tomorrow," said +Lady Clandidlem to Margaretta, as they walked across the hall together. + +"She won't say that you are going to run away with any gentleman," said +Margaretta. + +"At any rate not with the earl," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"Ha, ha, ha! Well, we are all very good-natured, are we not? The best +is that it means nothing." + +Thus by degrees all the guests went, and the family of the De Courcys +was left to the bliss of their own domestic circle. This, we may +presume, was not without its charms, seeing that there were so many +feelings in common between the mother and her children. There were +drawbacks to it, no doubt, arising perhaps chiefly from the earl's +bodily infirmities. + +" When your father speaks to me," said Mrs George to her husband, "he +puts me in such a shiver that I cannot open my mouth to answer him." + +"You should stand up to him," said George. + +"He can't hurt you, you know. Your money's your own; and if I'm ever to +be the heir, it won't be by his doing." + +"But he gnashes his teeth at me." + +"You shouldn't care for that, if he don't bite. He used to gnash them +at me; and when I had to ask him for money I didn't like it; but now I +don't mind him a bit. He threw the peerage at me one day, but it didn't +go within a yard of my head." + +"If he throws anything at me, George, I shall drop upon the spot." + +But the countess had a worse time with the earl than any of her +children. It was necessary that she should see him daily, and necessary +also that she should say much that he did not like to hear, and make +many petitions that caused him to gnash his teeth. The earl was one of +those men who could not endure to live otherwise than expensively, and +yet was made miserable by every recurring expense. He ought to have +known by this time that butchers, and bakers, and corn-chandlers, and +coal-merchants will not supply their goods for nothing; and yet it +always seemed as though he had expected that at this special period +they would do so. He was an embarrassed man, no doubt, and had not been +fortunate in his speculations at Newmarket or Homburg; but, +nevertheless, he had still the means of living without daily torment; +and it must be supposed that his self-imposed sufferings, with regard +to money, rose rather from his disposition than his necessities. His +wife never knew whether he were really ruined, or simply pretending it. +She had now become so used to her position in this respect, that she +did not allow fiscal considerations to mar her happiness. Food and +clothing had always come to her-including velvet gowns, new trinkets, +and a man-cook-and she presumed that they would continue to come. But +that daily conference with her husband was almost too much for her. She +struggled to avoid it; and, as far as the ways and means were +concerned, would have allowed them to arrange themselves, if he would +only have permitted it. But he insisted on seeing her daily in his own +sitting-room; and she had acknowledged to her favourite daughter, +Margaretta, that those half-hours would soon be the death of her. + +" I sometimes feel," she said, "that I am going mad before I can get +out." And she reproached herself, probably without reason, in that she +had brought much of this upon herself. In former days the earl had been +constantly away from home, and the countess had complained. Like many +other women, she had not known when she was well off. She had +complained, urging upon her lord that he should devote more of his time +to his own hearth. It is probable that her ladyship's remonstrances had +been less efficacious than the state of his own health in producing +that domestic constancy which he now practised; but it is certain that +she looked back with bitter regret to the happy days when she was +deserted, jealous, and querulous. + +"Don't you wish we could get Sir Omicron to order him to the German +Spas?" she had said to Margaretta. Now Sir Omicron was the great London +physician, and might, no doubt, do much in that way. + +But no such happy order had as yet been given; and, as far as the +family could foresee, paterfamilias intended to pass the winter with +them at Courcy. The guests, as I have said, were all gone, and none but +the family were in the house when her ladyship waited upon her lord one +morning at twelve o'clock, a few days after Mr Dale's visit to the +castle. He always breakfasted alone, and after breakfast found in a +French novel and a cigar what solace those innocent recreations were +still able to afford him. When the novel no longer excited him and when +he was saturated with smoke, he would send for his wife. After that, +his valet would dress him. + +" She gets it worse than I do," the man declared in the servants' hall, +"and minds it a deal more. I can give warning, and she can't." + +"Better? No, I ain't better," the husband said, in answer to his wife's +inquiries. "I never shall be better while you keep that cook in the +kitchin." + +"But where are we to get another if we send him away?" + +"It's not my business to find cooks. I don't know where you're to get +one. It's my belief you won't have a cook at all before long. It seems +you have got two extra men into the house without telling me." + +"We must have servants, you know, when there is company. It wouldn't do +to have Lady Dumbello here, and no one to wait on her." + +"Who asked Lady Dumbello? I didn't." + +"I'm sure, my dear, you liked having her here." + +"Lady Dumbello!" and then there was a pause. The countess had no +objection whatsoever to the above proposition, and was rejoiced that +that question of the servants was allowed to slip aside, through the +aid of her ladyship. + +"Look at that letter from Porlock," said the earl; and he pushed over +to the unhappy mother a letter from her eldest son. Of all her children +he was the one she loved the best; but him she was never allowed to see +under her on roof. "I sometimes think that he is the greatest rascal +with whom I ever had occasion to concern myself," said the earl. + +She took the letter and read it. The epistle was certainly riot one +which a father could receive with pleasure from his son; but the +disagreeable nature of its contents was the fault rather of the parent +than of the child. The writer intimated that certain money due to him +had not been paid with necessary punctuality, and that unless he +received it, he should instruct his lawyer to take some authorised +legal proceedings. Lord de Courcy had raised certain moneys on the +family property, which he could not have raised without the +co-operation of his heir, and had bound himself, in return for that +co-operation, to pay a certain fixed income to his eldest son. This he +regarded as an allowance from himself; but Lord Porlock regarded it as +his own, by lawful claim. The son had not worded his letter with any +affectionate phraseology. + +"Lord Porlock begs to inform Lord de Courcy" Such had been the +commencement. + +"I suppose he must have his money; else how can he live? said the +countess, trembling. + +"Live!" shouted the earl. + +"And so you think it proper that he should write such a letter as that +to his father!" + +"It is all very unfortunate," she replied. + +"I don't know where the money's to come from. As for him, if he were +starving, it would serve him right. He's a disgrace to the name and the +family. From all I hear, he won't live long." + +"Oh, De Courcy, don't talk of it in that way" + +"What way am I to talk of it? If I say that he's my greatest comfort, +and living as becomes a nobleman, and is a fine healthy man of his age, +with a good wife and a lot of legitimate children, will that make you +believe it? Women are such fools. Nothing that I say will make him +worse than he is." + +"But he may reform." + +"Reform! He's over forty, and when I last saw him he looked nearly +sixty. There-you may answer his letter; I won't." + +"And about the money?" + +"Why doesn't he write to Gazebee about his dirty money? Why does he +trouble me? I haven't got his money. Ask Gazebee about his money. I +won't trouble myself about it." + +Then there was another pause, during which the countess folded the +letter, and put it in her pocket. + +"How long is George going to remain here with that woman?" he asked. + +"I'm sure she is very harmless," pleaded the countess. + +"I always think when I see her that I'm sitting down to dinner with my +own housemaid. I never saw such a woman. How he can put up with it! But +I don't suppose he cares for anything." + +"It has made him very steady." + +"Steady!" + +"And as she will be confined before long it may be as well that she +should remain here. If Porlock doesn't marry, you know-" + +"And so he means to live here altogether, does he? I'll tell you what +it is-I won't have it. He's better able to keep a house over his own +head and his wife's than I am to do it for them, and so you may tell +them. I won't have it. D'ye hear? "Then there was another short pause. +"D'ye hear?" he shouted at her. + +"Yes; of course I hear. I was only thinking you wouldn't wish me to +turn them out, just as her confinement is coming on." + +"I know what that means. Then they'd never go. I won't have it; and if +you don't tell them I will." In answer to this Lady de Courcy promised +that she would tell them, thinking perhaps that the earl's mode of +telling might not be beneficial in that particular epoch which was now +coming in the life of Mrs George. + +"Did you know," said he, breaking out on a new subject, "that a man had +been here named Dale, calling on somebody in this house?" In answer to +which the countess acknowledged that she had known it. + +"Then why did you keep it from me?" And that gnashing of the teeth took +place which was so specially objectionable to Mrs George. + +"It was a matter of no moment. He came to see Lady Julia de Guest." + +"Yes; but he came about that man Crosbie." + +"I suppose he did." + +"Why have you let that girl be such a fool? You'll find he'll play her +some knave's trick." + +"Oh dear, no." + +"And why should she want to marry such a man as that?" + +"He's quite a gentleman, you know, and very much thought of in the +world. It won't be at all bad for her, poor thing. It is so very hard +for a girl to get married nowadays without money." + +"And so they're to take up with anybody. As far as I can see, this is a +worse affair than that of Amelia." + +"Amelia has done very well, my dear." + +"Oh, if you call it doing well for your girls, I don't. I call it doing +uncommon badly; about as bad as they well can do. But it's your affair. +I have never meddled with them, and don't intend to do it now." + +"I really think she'll be happy, and she is devotedly attached to the +young man." + +"Devotedly attached to the young man!" The tone and manner in which the +earl repeated these words were such as to warrant an opinion that his +lordship might have done very well on the stage had his attention been +called to that profession. + +"It makes me sick to hear people talk in that way. She wants to get +married, and she's a fool for her pains-I can't help that; only +remember that I'll have no nonsense here about that other girl. If he +gives me trouble of that sort, by I'll be the death of him. When is the +marriage to be? + +"They talk of February." + +"I won't have any tomfoolery and expense. If she chooses to marry a +clerk in an office, she shall marry him as clerks are married." + +"He'll be the secretary before that, De Courcy." + +"What difference does that make? Secretary, indeed! What sort of men do +you suppose secretaries are? A beggar that came from nobody knows +where! I won't have any tomfoolery-d'ye hear?" Whereupon the countess +said that she did hear, and soon afterwards managed to escape. The +valet then took his turn; and repeated, after his hour of service, that +"Old Nick" in his tantrums had been more like the Prince of Darkness +than ever. + +CHAPTER XXVII + +"ON MY HONOUR, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT" + + +In the meantime Lady Alexandrina endeavoured to realise to herself all +the advantages and disadvantages of her own position. She was not +possessed of strong affections, nor of depth of character, nor of high +purpose; but she was no fool, nor was she devoid of principle. She had +asked herself many times whether her present life was so happy as to +make her think that a permanent continuance in it would suffice for her +desires, and she had always replied to herself that she would fain +change to some other life if it were possible. She had also questioned +herself as to her rank, of which she was quite sufficiently proud, and +had told herself that she could not degrade herself in the world +without a heavy pang. But she had at last taught herself to believe +that she had more to gain by becoming the wife of such a man as Crosbie +than by remaining as an unmarried daughter of her father's house. There +was much in her sister Amelia's position which she did not envy, but +there was less to envy in that of her sister Rosina. The Gazebee house +in St. John's Wood Road was not so magnificent as Courcy Castle; but +then it was less dull, less embittered by torment, and was moreover her +sister's own. + +"Very many do marry commoners," she had said to Margaretta. + +"Oh, yes, of course. It makes a difference, you know, when a man has a +fortune." + +Of course it did make a difference. Crosbie had no fortune, was not +even so rich as Mr Gazebee, could keep no carriage, and would have no +country house. But then he was a man of fashion, was more thought of in +the world than Mr Gazebee, might probably rise in his own +profession-and was at any rate thoroughly presentable. She would have +preferred a gentleman with L5,000 a year; but then as no gentleman with +L5,000 a year came that way, would she not be happier with Mr Crosbie +than she would be with no husband at all? She was not very much in love +with Mr Crosbie, but she thought that she could live with him +comfortably, and that on the whole it would be a good thing to be +married. + +And she made certain resolves as to the manner in which she would do +her duty by her husband. Her sister Amelia was paramount in her own +house, ruling indeed with a moderate, endurable dominion, and ruling +much to her husband's advantage. Alexandrina feared that she would not +be allowed to rule, but she could at any rate try; She would do all in +her power to make him comfortable, and would be specially careful not +to irritate him by any insistence on her own higher rank. She would be +very meek in this respect; and if children should come she would be as +painstaking about them as though her own father had been merely a +clergyman or, a lawyer. She thought also much about poor Lilian Dale, +asking herself sundry questions, with an idea of being high-principled +as to her duty in that respect. Was she wrong in taking Mr Crosbie away +from Lilian Dale? In answer to these questions she was able to assure +herself comfortably that she was not wrong. Mr Crosbie would not, under +any circumstances, marry Lilian Dale. He had told her so more than +once, and that in a solemn way. She could therefore be doing no harm to +Lilian Dale. If she entertained any inner feeling that Crosbie's fault +in jilting Lilian Dale was less than it would have been had, she +herself not been an earl's daughter-that her own rank did in some. +degree extenuate her lover's falseness-she did not express it in words +even to herself. + +She did not get very much sympathy from her own family. + +"I'm afraid he does not think much of his religious duties. I'm told +that young men of that sort seldom do," said Rosina. + +"I don't say you're wrong," said Margaretta. + +"By no means. Indeed I think less of it now than I did when Amelia did +the same thing. I shouldn't do it myself, that's all." Her father told +her that he supposed she knew her own mind. Her mother, who endeavoured +to comfort and in some sort to congratulate her, nevertheless, harped +constantly on the fact that the was marrying a man without rank and +without a fortune, Her congratulations were apologetic, and her +comfortings took the guise of consolation. + +"Of course you won't be rich, my dear; but I really think you'll do +very well. Mr Crosbie may be received anywhere, and you never need be +ashamed of him." By which the countess implied that her elder married +daughter was occasionally called on to be ashamed of her husband. "I +wish he could keep a carriage for you, but perhaps that will come some +day." Upon the whole Alexandrina did not repent, and stoutly told her +father that she did know her own mind. + +During all this time Lily Dale was as yet perfect in her happiness. +That delay of a day or two in the receipt of the expected letter from +her lover had not disquieted her. She had promised him that she would +not distrust him, and she was firmly minded to keep her promises. +Indeed no idea of breaking it came to her at this time. She was +disappointed when the postman would come and bring no letter for +her-disappointed, as the husbandman when the longed-for rain does not +come to refresh the parched earth; but she was in no degree angry. + +"He will explain it," she said to herself. And she assured Bell that +men never recognised the hunger and thirst after letters which women +feel when away from those whom they love. + +Then they heard at the Small House that the squire had gone away from +Allington. During the last few days Bernard had not been much with +them, and now they heard the news, not through their cousin, but from +Hopkins. + +"I really can't undertake to say, Miss Bell, where the master's gone +to. Its not likely the master'd tell me where he was going to; not +unless it was about seeds, or the likes of that." + +"He has gone very suddenly," said Bell. + +"Well, miss, I've nothing to say to that. And why shouldn't he go +sudden if he likes? I only know he had his gig, and went to the +station. If you was to bury me alive I couldn't tell you more." + +"I should like to try," said Lily as they walked away. + +"He is such a cross old thing. I wonder whether Bernard has gone with +my uncle." And then they thought no more about it. + +On the day after that Bernard came down to the Small House, but he said +nothing by way of accounting for the squire's absence. + +"He is in London, I know," said Bernard. + +"I hope he'll call on Mr Crosbie," said Lily. But on this subject +Bernard said not a word. He did ask Lily whether she had heard from +Adolphus, in answer to which she replied, with as indifferent a voice +as she could assume, that she had not had a letter that morning. + +"I shall be angry with him if he's not a good correspondent," said Mrs +Dale, when she and Lily were alone together. + +"No, mamma, you mustn't be angry with him. I won't let you be angry +with him. Please to remember he's my lover and not yours." + +"But I can see you when you watch for the postman." + +"I won't watch for the postman any more if it makes you have bad +thoughts about him. Yes, they are bad thoughts. I won't have you think +that he doesn't do everything that is right." + +On the next morning the postman brought a letter, or rather a note, and +Lily at once saw that it was from Crosbie. She had contrived to +intercept it near the back door, at which the postman called, so that +her mother should not watch her watchings, nor see her disappointment +if none should come. + +"Thank you, Jane," she said, very calmly, when the eager, kindly girl +ran to her with the little missive; and she walked off to some +solitude, trying to hide her impatience. The note had seemed so small +that it amazed her; but when she opened it the contents amazed her +more. There was neither beginning nor end. There was no appellation of +love, and no signature. It contained but two lines. + +"I will write to you at length tomorrow. This is my first day in +London, and I have been so driven about that I cannot write." That was +all, and it was scrawled on half a sheet of note-paper. Why, at any +rate, had he not called her his dearest Lily? Why had he not assured +her that he was ever her own? Such expressions, meaning so much, may be +conveyed in a glance of the pen. + +"Ah," she said, "if he knew how I hunger and thirst after his love!" + +She had but a moment left to her before she must join her mother and +sister, and she used that moment in remembering her promise. + +"I know it is all right," she said to herself. + +"He does not think of these things as I do. He had to write at the last +moment-as he was leaving his office." And then with a quiet, smiling +face, she walked into the breakfast-parlour. + +"What does he say, Lily?" asked Bell. + +"What would you give to know?" said Lily. + +"I wouldn't give twopence for the whole of it," said Bell. + +"When you get anybody to write to you letters, I wonder whether you'll +show them to everybody?" + +"But if there's any special London news, I suppose we might hear it," +said Mrs Dale. + +"But suppose there's no special London news, mamma. The poor man had +only been in town one day, you know: and there never is any news at +this time of the year." + +"Had he seen Uncle Christopher?" + +"I don't think he had; but he doesn't say. We shall get all the news +from him when he comes. He cares much more about London news than +Adolphus does." And then there was no more said about the letter. + +But Lily had read her two former letters over and over again at the +breakfast-table; and though she had not read them aloud, she had +repeated many words out of them, and had so annotated upon them that +her mother, who had heard her, could have almost re-written them. Now, +she did not even show the paper; and then her absence, during which she +had read the letter, had hardly exceeded a minute or two. All this Mrs +Dale observed, and she knew that her daughter had been again +disappointed. + +In fact that day Lily was very serious, but she did not appear to be +unhappy. Early after breakfast Bell went over to the parsonage, and Mrs +Dale and her youngest daughter sat together over their work. + +"Mamma," she said, "I hope you and I are not to be divided when I go to +live in London." + +"We shall never be divided in heart, my love." + +"Ah, but that will not be enough for happiness, though perhaps enough +to prevent absolute unhappiness. T I shall want to see you, touch you, +and pet you as I do now." And she came and knelt on the cushion at her +mother's feet. + +"You will have some one else to caress and pet-perhaps many others." + +"Do you mean to say that you are going to throw me off, mamma?" + +"God forbid, my darling. It is not mothers that throw off their +children. What shall I have left when you and Bell are gone from me?" + +"But we will never be gone. That's what I mean. We are to be just the +same to you always, even though we are married. I must have my right to +be here as much as I have it now; and, in return, you shall have your +right to be there. His house must be a home to you-not a cold place +which you may visit now and again, with your best clothes on. You know +what I mean, when I say that we must not be divided." + +"But Lily-" + +"Well, mamma?" + +"I have no doubt we shall be happy together-you and I." + +"But you were going to say more than that." +"Only this-that your house will be his house, and will be full without +me. A daughter's marriage is always a painful parting." + +"Is it, mamma?" + +"Not that I would have it otherwise than it is. Do not think that I +would wish to keep you at home with me. Of course you will both marry +and leave me. I hope that he to whom you are going to devote yourself +may be spared to love you and protect you." Then the widow's heart +became too full, and she put away her child from her that she might +hide her face. + +"Mamma, mamma, I wish I was not going from you." + +"No, Lily; do not say that. I should not be contented with life if I +did not see both my girls married. I think that it is the only lot +which can give to a woman perfect content and satisfaction. I would +have you both married. I should be the most selfish being alive if I +wished otherwise." + +"Bell will settle herself near you, and then you will see more of her +and love her better than you do me." + +"I shall not love her better." + +"I wish she would marry some London man, and then you would come with +us, and be near to us. Do you know, mamma I sometimes think you don't +like this place here." + +"Your uncle has been very kind to give it to us." + +"I know he has; and we have been very happy here. But if Bell should +leave you-" + +"Then should I go also. Your uncle has been very kind. but I sometimes +feel that his kindness is a burden which I should not be strong enough +to bear solely on my own shoulders. And what should keep me here, then? +" Mrs Dale as she said this felt that the "here" "of which she spoke +extended beyond the limits of the home which she held through the +charity of her brother-in-law. Might not all the world, far as she was +concerned in it, be contained in that here? How was she to live if both +her children should be taken away from her? She had already realised +the fact that Crosbie's house could never be a home to her-never even a +temporary home. Her visits there must be of that full-dressed nature to +which Lily had alluded. It was impossible that she could explain this +to Lily. She would not prophesy that the hero of her girl's heart would +be inhospitable to his wife's mother; but such had been her reading of +Crosbie's character. Alas, alas, as matters were to go, his hospitality +or inhospitality would be matter of small moment to them. + +Again in the afternoon the two sisters were together, and Lily was +still more serious than her wont. It might almost have been gathered +from her manner that this marriage of hers was about to take place at +once, and that she was preparing to leave her home. + +"Bell," she said, + +"I wonder why Dr Crofts never comes to see us now?" + +"It isn't a month since he was here, at our party." +"A month! But there was a time when he made some pretext for being here +every other day." + +"Yes, when mamma was ill." + +"Ay, and since mamma was well, too. But I suppose I must not break the +promise you made me give you. He's not to be talked about even yet, is +he?" + +"I didn't say he was not to be talked about. You know what I meant, +Lily; and what I meant then, I mean now." + +"And how long will it be before you mean something else? I do hope it +will come some day-I do indeed." + +"It never will, Lily. I once fancied that I cared for Dr Crofts, but it +was only fancy. I know it, because-" She was going to explain that her +knowledge on that point was assured to her, because since that day she +had felt that she might have learned to love another man. But that +other man had been Mr Crosbie, and so she stopped herself. + +"I wish he would come and ask you himself." + +"He will never do so. He would never ask such a question without +encouragement, and I shall give him none. Nor will he ever think of +marrying till he can do so without-without what he thinks to be +imprudence as regards money. He has courage enough to be poor himself +without unhappiness, but he has not courage to endure poverty with a +wife. I know well what his feelings are." + +"Well, we shall see," said Lily. + +"I shouldn't wonder if you were married first now, Bell. For my part +I'm quite prepared to wait for three years." + +Late on that evening the squire returned to Allington, Bernard having +driven over to meet him at the station. He had telegraphed to his +nephew that he would be back by a late train, and no more than this had +been heard from him since he went. On that day Bernard had seen none of +the ladies at the Small House. With Bell at the present moment it was +impossible that he should be on easy terms. Re could not meet her alone +without recurring to the one special subject of interest between them, +and as to that he did not choose to speak without much forethought. He +had not known himself, when he had gone about his wooing so lightly, +thinking it a slight thing, whether or no he might be accepted. Now it +was no longer a slight thing to him. I do not know that it was love +that made him so eager; not good, honest, downright love. But he had +set his heart upon the object, and with the wilfulness of a Dale was +determined that it should be his. He had no remotest idea of giving up +his cousin, but he had at last persuaded himself that she was not to be +won without some toil, and perhaps also some delay. + +Nor had he been in a humour to talk either to Mrs Dale or to Lily. He +feared that Lady Julia's news was true-that at any rate there might be +in it something of truth; and while thus in doubt he could not go down +to the Small House. So he hung about the place by himself, with a cigar +in his mouth, fearing that something evil was going to happen, and when +the message came for him, almost shuddered as he seated himself in the +gig. What would it become him to do in this emergency if Crosbie had +truly been guilty of the villany with which Lady Julia had charged him? +Thirty years ago he would have called the man out, and shot at him till +one of them was hit. Nowadays it was hardly possible for a man to do +that; and yet what would the world say of him if he allowed such an +injury as this to pass without vengeance? + +His uncle, as he came forth from the station with his travelling-bag in +his hand, was stem, gloomy, and silent. He came out and took his place +in the gig almost without speaking. There were strangers about, and +therefore his nephew at first could ask no question, but as the gig +turned. the corner out of the station-house yard he demanded the news. + +"What have you heard?" he said. + +But even then the squire did not answer at once. He shook his head, and +turned away his face, as though he did not choose to be interrogated. + +"Have you seen him, sir?" asked Bernard. + +"No, he has not dared to see me." + +"Then it is true? + +"True?-yes, it is all true. Why did you bring the scoundrel here? It +has been your fault." + +"No, sir; I must contradict that. I did not know him for a scoundrel." + +"But it was your duty to have known him before you brought him here +among them. Poor girl! how is she to be told?" + +"Then she does not know it?" + +"I fear not. Have you seen them? + +"I saw them yesterday, and she did not know it then; she may have heard +it today." + +"I don't think so. I believe he has been too great a coward to write to +her. A coward indeed! How can any man find the courage to write such a +letter as that?" + +By degrees the squire told his tale. How he had gone to Lady Julia, had +made his way to London, had tracked Crosbie to his club, and had there +learned the whole truth from Crosbie's friend, Fowler Pratt, we already +know. + +"The coward escaped me while I was talking to the man he sent down," +said the squire. + +"It was a concerted plan, and I think he was right. I should have +brained him in the hall of the club." On the following morning Pratt +had called upon him at his inn with Crosbie's apology. + +"His apology!" said the squire. + +"I have it in my pocket. Poor reptile; wretched worm of a man! I cannot +understand it. On my honour, Bernard, I do not understand it. I think +men are changed since I knew much of them. It would have been +impossible for me to write such a letter as that." He went on telling +how Pratt had brought him this letter, and had stated that Crosbie +declined an interview. + +"The gentleman had the goodness to assure me that no good could come +from such a meeting. 'You mean,' I answered, that I cannot touch pitch +and not be defiled!' He acknowledged that the man was pitch. Indeed, he +could not say a word for his friend." + +"I know Pratt. He is a gentleman. I am sure he would not excuse him." + +"Excuse him! How could any one excuse him? Words could not be found to +excuse him." And then he sat silent for some half mile. + +"On my honour, Bernard, I can hardly yet bring myself to believe it. It +is so new to me. It makes me feel that the world is changed, and that +it is no longer worth a man's while to live in it." + +"And he is engaged to this other girl? + +"Oh, yes; with the full consent of the family. It is all arranged, and +the settlements, no doubt, in the lawyer's hands by this time. He must +have gone away from here determined to throw her over. Indeed, I don't +suppose he ever meant to marry her. He was just passing away his time +here in the country." + +"He meant it up to the time of his leaving." + +"I don't think it. Had he found me able and willing to give her a +fortune he might, perhaps, have married her. But I don't think he meant +it for a moment after I told him that she would have nothing. Well, +here we are. I may truly say that I never before came back to my own +house with so sore a heart." + +They sat silently over their supper, the squire showing more open +sorrow than might have been expected from his character. + +"What am I to say to them in the morning?" he repeated over and over +again. + +"How am I to do it? And if I tell the mother, how is she to tell her +child?" + +"Do you think that he has given no intimation of his purpose?" + +"As far as I can tell, none. That man Pratt knew that he had not done +so yesterday afternoon. I asked him what were the intentions of his +blackguard friend, and he said that he did not know-that Crosbie would +probably have written to me. Then he brought me this. letter. There it +is," and the squire threw the letter over the table; "read it and let +me have it back. He thinks probably that the trouble is now over as far +as he is concerned." + +It was a vile letter to have written-not because the language was bad, +or the mode of expression unfeeling, or the facts falsely stated-but +because the thing to be told was in itself so vile. There are deeds +which will not bear a gloss-sins as to which the perpetrator cannot +speak otherwise than as a reptile; circumstances which change a man and +put upon him the worthlessness of vermin. Crosbie had struggled hard to +write it, going home to do it after his last interview on that night +with Pratt. But he had sat moodily in his chair at his lodgings, unable +to take the pen in his hand. Pratt was to come to him at his office on +the following morning, and he went to bed resolving that he would write +it at his desk. On the next day Pratt was there before a word of it had +been written. + +"I can't stand this kind of thing," said Pratt. + +"If you mean me to take it, you must write it at once." Then, with +inward groaning, Crosbie sat himself at his table, and the words at +last were forthcoming. Such words as they were! + +"I know that I can have no excuse to make to you-or to her. But, +circumstanced as I now am, the truth is the best. I feel that I should +not make Miss Dale happy; and, therefore, as an honest man, I think I +best do my duty by relinquishing the honour which she and you had +proposed for me." There was more of it, but we all know of what words +such letters are composed, and how men write when they feel themselves +constrained to write as reptiles. + +"As an honest man!" repeated the squire. + +"On my honour, Bernard, as a gentleman, I do not understand it. I +cannot believe it possible that the man who wrote that letter was +sitting the other day as a guest at my table." + +"What are we to do to him?" said Bernard, after a while. + +"Treat him as you would a rat. Throw your stick at him, if he comes +under your feet; but beware, above all things, that. he does not get +into your house. That is too late for us now." + +"There must he more than that, uncle." + +"I don't know what more. There are deeds for committing which a man is +doubly damned, because he has screened himself from overt punishment by +the nature of his own villany. We have to remember Lily's name, and do +what may best tend to her comfort. Poor girl! poor girl!" + +Then they were silent, till the squire rose and took his bed candle. + +"Bernard," he said, "let my sister-in-law know early tomorrow that I +will see her here, if she will be good enough. to come to me after +breakfast. Do not have anything else said at the Small House. It may be +that he has written today." + +Then the squire went to bed, and Bernard sat over the dining-room fire, +meditating on it all. How would the world expect that he should behave +to Crosbie? and what should he do when he met Crosbie at the club? + +CHAPTER XXVIII + +THE BOARD + + +Crosbie, as we already know, went to his office in Whitehall on the +morning after his escape from Sebright's, at which establishment he +left the Squire of Allington in conference with Fowler Pratt. He had +seen Fowler Pratt again that same night, and the course of the story +will have shown what took place at that interview. + +He went early to his office, knowing that he had before him the work of +writing two letters, neither of which would run very glibly from his +pen. One was to be his missive to the squire, to be delivered by his +friend; the other, that fatal epistle to poor Lily, which, as the day +passed away, he found himself utterly unable to accomplish. The letter +to the squire he did write, under certain threats; and, as we have +seen, was considered to have degraded himself to he vermin rank of +humanity by the meanness of his production. + +But on reaching his office he found that other cares awaited him-cares +which he would have taken much delight in bearing, had the state of his +mind enabled him to take delight in anything. On entering the lobby of +his office, at ten o'clock, he became aware that he was received by the +messengers assembled there with almost more than their usual deference. +He was always a great man at the General Committee Office; but there +are shades of greatness and shades of deference, which, though quite +beyond the powers of definition, nevertheless manifest themselves +clearly to the experienced ear and eye. He walked through to his own +apartment, and there found two official letters addressed to him lying +on his table. The first which came to hand, though official, was small, +and marked private, and it was addressed in the handwriting of his old +friend, Butterwell, the outgoing secretary. + +"I shall see you in the morning, nearly as soon as you get this," said +the semi-official note; "but I must be the first to congratulate you on +the acquisition of my old shoes. They will be very easy in the wearing +to you, though they pinched my corns a little at first. I dare say they +want new soling, and perhaps they are a little down at the heels; but +you will find some excellent cobbler to make them all right, and will +give them a grace in the wearing which they have sadly lacked since +they came into my possession. I wish you much joy with them," etc. etc. +He then opened the larger official letter, but that had now but little +interest for him. He could have made a copy of the contents without +seeing them. The Board of Commissioners had had great pleasure in +promoting him to the office of secretary, vacated by the promotion of +Mr Butterwell to a seat at their own Board; and then the letter was +signed by Mr Butterwell himself. + +How delightful to him would have been this welcome on his return to his +office had his heart in other respects been free from care! And as he +thought of this, he remembered all Lily's charms. He told himself how +much she excelled the noble scion of the De Courcy stock, with whom he +was now destined to mate himself; how the bride he had rejected +excelled the one he had chosen in grace, beauty, faith, freshness, and +all feminine virtues. If he could only wipe out the last fortnight from +the facts of his existence! But fortnights such as those are not to be +wiped out-not even with many sorrowful years of tedious scrubbing. + +And at this moment it seemed to him as though all those impediments +which had frightened him when he had thought of marrying Lily Dale were +withdrawn. That which would have been terrible with seven or eight +hundred a year, would have been made delightful with twelve or +thirteen. Why had his fate been so unkind to him? Why had not this +promotion come to him but one fortnight earlier? Why had it not been +declared before he had made his visit to that terrible castle?' He even +said to himself that if he had positively known the fact before Pratt +had seen Mr Dale, he would have sent a different message to the squire, +and would have braved the anger of all the race of the De Courcys. But +in that he lied to himself, and he knew that, he did so. An earl, in +his imagination, was hedged by so strong a divinity, that his treason +towards Alexandrina could do no more than peep at what it would. It had +been considered but little by him, when the: project first offered +itself to his mind, to jilt the niece of a small rural squire; but it +was not in him to jilt the daughter of a countess. + +That house full of babies' in St. John's Wood. appeared to him now +under a very different guise from that which it wore as he sat in his +room at Courcy Castle on the evening of his arrival there Then such an +establishment had to him. the flavour of a graveyard. It was as though +he were going to bury himself alive. Now that it was out of his reach, +he thought of it as a paradise upon earth. And then he considered what +sort of a paradise Lady Alexandrina would make for him. It was +astonishing how ugly was the Lady Alexandrina, how old, how graceless, +how destitute of all pleasant charm, seen through the spectacles which +he wore at the present moment. + +During his first hour at the office he did nothing. One or two of the +younger clerks came in and congratulated him with much heartiness. He +was popular at his office, and they had got a step by his promotion. +Then he met, one or two of the elder clerks, and was congratulated with +much less heartiness. + +"I suppose it's all right," said one bluff old gentleman. "My time is +gone by, I know. I married too early to be able to wear a good coat +when I was young, and I never was acquainted with any lords or lords' +families." The sting of this was the sharper because Crosbie had begun +to feel how absolutely useless to him had been all that high interest +and noble connection which he had formed. He had really been promoted +because he knew more about his work than any of the other men, and Lady +de Courcy's influential relation at the India Board had not yet even +had time to write a note upon the subject. + +At eleven Mr Butterwell came into Crosbie's room, and the new secretary +was forced to clothe himself in smiles. Mr Butterwell was a pleasant, +handsome man of about fifty, who had never yet set the Thames on fire, +and had never attempted to do so. He was perhaps a little more civil to +great men and a little more patronising to those below him than he +would have been had he been perfect. But there was something frank and +English even in his mode of bowing before the mighty ones, and to those +who were not mighty he was rather too civil than either stern or +supercilious. He knew that he was not very clever, but he knew also how +to use those who were clever. He seldom made any mistake, and was very +scrupulous not to tread on men's corns. Though he had no enemies, yet +he had a friend or two; and we may therefore say of Mr Butterwell that +he had walked his path in life discreetly. At the age of thirty-five he +had married a lady with some little fortune, and now he lived a +pleasant, easy, smiling life in a villa at Putney. When Mr Butterwell +heard, as he often did hear, of the difficulty which an English +gentleman has of earning his bread in his own country, he was wont to +look back on his own career with some complacency. He knew that he had +not given the world much; yet he had received largely, and no one had +begrudged it to him. + +"Tact," Mr Butterwell used to say to himself, as he walked along the +paths of his Putney villa. "Tact. Tact. Tact." + +"Crosbie," he said, as he entered the room cheerily, "I congratulate +you with all my heart. I do, indeed. You have got the step early in +life, and you deserve it thoroughly-much better than I did when I was +appointed to the same office." + +"Oh, no," said Crosbie, gloomily. + +"But I say, Oh, yes. We are deuced lucky to have such a man, and so I +told the commissioners." + +"I'm sure I'm very much obliged to you." + +"I've known it all along-before you left even. Sir Raffle Buffle had +told me he was to go to the Income-tax Office. The chair is two +thousand there, you know; and I had been promised the first seat at the +Board." + +"Ah-I wish I'd known," said Crosbie. + +"You are much better as you are," said Butterwell. + +"There's no pleasure like a surprise! Besides, one knows a thing of +that kind, and yet doesn't know it. I don't mind saying now that I knew +it-swearing that I knew it-but I wouldn't have said so to a living +being the day before yesterday. There are such slips between the cups +and the lips. Suppose Sir Raffle had not gone to the Income Tax!" + +"Exactly so," said Crosbie. + +"But it's all right now. indeed I sat at the Board yesterday, though I +signed the letter afterwards. I'm not sure that I don't lose more than +I gain." + +"What! with three hundred a year more and less work?" + +"Ah, but look at the interest of the thing. The secretary sees +everything and knows everything. But I'm getting old, and, as you say, +the lighter work will suit me. By-the-by, will you come down to Putney +tomorrow? Mrs Butterwell will be delighted to see the new secretary. +There's nobody in town now, so you can have no ground for refusing." + +But Mr Crosbie did find some ground for refusing. It would have been +impossible for him to have sat and smiled at Mrs Butterwell's table in +his present frame of mind. In a mysterious, half-explanatory manner, he +let Mr Butterwell know that private affairs of importance made it +absolutely necessary that he should remain that evening in town. + +"And indeed," as he said, "he was not his own master just at present." + +"By-the-by-of course not. I had quite forgotten to congratulate you on +that head. So you're going to be married? Well; I'm very glad, and hope +you'll be as lucky as I have been." + +"Thank you," said Crosbie, again rather gloomily. + +"A young lady from near Guestwick, isn't it; or somewhere in those +parts?" + +"N-no," stammered Crosbie. +"The lady comes from Barsetshire." + +"Why, I heard the name. Isn't she a Bell, or Tait, or Ball, or some +such name as that?" + +"No." said Crosbie, assuming what boldness he could command. "Her name +is De Courcy." + +"One of the earl's daughters?" + +"Yes," said Crosbie. + +"Oh. I beg your pardon. I'd heard wrong. You're going to be allied to a +very noble family, and I am heartily glad to hear of your success in +life." Then Butterwell shook him very cordially by the hand-having +offered him no such special testimony of approval when under the belief +that he was going to marry a Bell, a Tait, or a Ball. All the same, Mr +Butterwell began to think that there was something wrong. He had heard +from an indubitable source that Crosbie had engaged himself to a niece +of a squire with whom he had been staying near Guestwick-a girl without +any money; and Mr Butterwell, in his wisdom, had thought his friend +Crosbie to be rather a fool for his pains. But now he was going to +marry one of the De Courcys! Mr Butterwell was rather at his wits' ends. + +"Well; we shall be sitting at two, you know, and of course you'll come +to us. If you're at leisure before that I'll make over what papers I +have to you. I've not been a Lord Eldon in my office, and they won't +break your back." + +Immediately after that Fowler Pratt had been shown into Crosbie's room, +and Crosbie had written the letter to the squire under Pratt's eye. + +He could take no joy in his promotion. When Pratt left him he tried to +lighten his heart. He endeavoured to throw Lily and her wrongs behind +him, and fix his thoughts on his advancing successes in life; but he +could not do it. A self-imposed trouble will not allow itself to be +banished. If a man lose a thousand pounds by a friend's fault, or by a +turn in the wheel of fortune, he can, if he be a man, put his grief +down and trample it under foot; he can exercise the spirit of his +grievance, and bid the evil one depart from out of his house. But such +exorcism is not to be used when the sorrow has come from a man's own +folly and sin-especially not if it has come from his own selfishness. +Such are the cases which make men drink; which drive them on to the +avoidance of all thought; which create gamblers and reckless prodigals; +which are the promoters of suicide. How could he avoid writing this +letter to Lily? He might blow his brains out, and so let there be an +end of it all. It was to such reflections that he came, when he sat +himself down endeavouring to reap satisfaction from his promotion. + +But Crosbie was not a man to commit suicide. In giving him his due I +must protest that he was too good for that. He knew too well that a +pistol-bullet could not be the be-all and the end-all here, and there +was too much manliness in him for so cowardly an escape. The burden +must be borne. But how was he to bear it? There he sat till it was two +o'clock, neglecting Mr Butterwell and his office papers, and not +stirring from his seat till a messenger summoned him before the Board. +The Board, as he entered the room, was not such a Board as the public +may, perhaps, imagine such Boards to be. There was a round table, with +a few pens lying about, and a comfortable leathern arm-chair at the +side of it, farthest from the door Sir Raffle Buffle was leaving his +late colleagues, and was standing with his back to the fire-place, +talking very loudly. Sir Raffle was a great bully, and the Board was +uncommonly glad to be rid of him; but as this was to be his last +appearance at the Committee Office, they submitted to his voice meekly. +Mr Butterwell was standing close to him, essaying to laugh mildly at +Sir Raffle's jokes. A little man, hardly more than five feet high, with +small but honest-looking eyes, and close-cut hair, was standing behind +the arm-chair, rubbing his hands together, and longing for the +departure of Sir Raffle, in order that he might sit down. This was Mr +Optimist, the new chairman, in praise of whose appointment the Daily +Jupiter had been so loud, declaring that the present Minister was +showing himself superior to all Ministers who had ever gone before him, +in giving promotion solely on the score of merit. The Daily Jupiter, a +fortnight since, had published a very eloquent article, strongly +advocating the claims of Mr Optimist, and was naturally pleased to find +that its advice had been taken. Has not an obedient Minister a right to +the praise of those powers which he obeys? + +Mr Optimist was, in truth, an industrious little gentleman, very well +connected, who had served the public all his life, and who was, at any +rate, honest in his dealings. Nor was he a bully, such as his +predecessor. It might, however, be a question whether he carried guns +enough for the command in which he was now to be employed. There was +but one other member of the Board, Major Fiasco by name, a +discontented, brokenhearted, silent man, who had been sent to the +General Committee Office some few years before because he was not +wanted anywhere else. He was a man who had intended to do great things +when he entered public life, and had possessed the talent and energy +for things moderately great. He had also possessed to a certain extent +the ear of those high in office; but, in some way, matters had not gone +well with him, and in running his course he had gone on the wrong side +of the post. He was still in the prime of life, and yet all men knew +that Major Fiasco had nothing further to expect from the public or from +the Government. Indeed, there were not wanting those who said that +Major Fiasco was already in receipt of a liberal income, for which he +gave no work in return; that he merely filled a chair for four hours a +day four or five days a week, signing his name to certain forms and +documents, reading, or pretending to read, certain papers, but, in +truth, doing no good. Major Fiasco, on the other hand, considered +himself to be a deeply injured individual, and he spent his life in +brooding over his wrongs. He believed now in nothing and in nobody. He +had begun public life striving to be honest, and he now regarded all +around him as dishonest. He had no satisfaction in any man other than +that which he found when some event would show to him that this or that +other compeer of his own had proved himself to be self-interested, +false, or fraudulent. + +"Don't tell me, Butterwell," he would say-for with Mr Butterwell he +maintained some semi-official intimacy, and he would take that +gentleman by the button-hole, holding him close. + +"Don't tell me. I know what men are. I've seen the world. I've been +looking at things with my eyes open. I knew what he was doing." And +then he would tell of the sly deed of some official known well to them +both, not denouncing it by any means, but affecting to take it for +granted that the man in question was a rogue. Butterwell would shrug +his shoulders, and laugh gently, and say that, upon his word, he didn't +think the world so bad as Fiasco made it out to be. + +Nor did he; for Butterwell believed in many things. He believed in his +Putney villa on this earth, and he believed also that he might achieve +some sort of Putney villa in the world beyond without undergoing +present martyrdom. His Putney villa first, with all its attendant +comforts, and then his duty to the public afterwards. It was thus that +Mr Butterwell regulated his conduct; and as he was solicitous that the +villa should be as comfortable a home to his wife as to himself, and +that it should be specially comfortable to his friends, I do not think +that we need quarrel with his creed. + +Mr Optimist believed in everything, but especially he believed in the +Prime Minister, in the Daily Jupiter, in the General Committee Office, +and in himself. He had long thought that everything was nearly right; +but now that he himself was chairman at the General Committee Office, +he was quite sure that everything must be right. In Sir Raffle Buffle, +indeed, he had never believed; and now it was, perhaps, the greatest +joy of his life that he should never again be called upon to hear the +tones of that terrible knight's hated voice. + +Seeing who were the components of the new Board, it may be presumed +that Crosbie would look forward to enjoying a not uninfluential +position in his office. There were, indeed, some among the clerks who +did not hesitate to say that the new secretary would have it pretty +nearly all his own way. As for "old Opt," there would be, they said, no +difficulty about him. Only tell him that such and such a decision was +his own, and he would be sure to believe the teller. Butterwell was not +fond of work, and had been accustomed to lean upon Crosbie for many +years. As for Fiasco, he would be cynical in words, but wholly +indifferent in deed. If the whole office were made to go to the +mischief, Fiasco, in his own grim way, would enjoy the confusion. + +"Wish you joy, Crosbie," said Sir Raffle, standing up on the rug, +waiting for the new secretary to go up to him and shake hands. But Sir +Raffle was going, and the new secretary did not indulge him. + +"Thank ye, Sir Raffle," said Crosbie, without going near the rug. + +"Mr Crosbie, I congratulate you most sincerely," said Mr Optimist. +"Your promotion has been the result altogether of your own merit. You +have been selected for the high office which you are now called upon to +fill solely because it has been thought that you are the most fit man +to perform the onerous duties attached to it. Hum-hum-ha. As, regards +my share in the recommendation which we found ourselves bound to submit +to the Treasury, I must say that I never felt less hesitation in my +life, and I believe I may declare as much as regards the other members +of the Board." And Mr Optimist looked around him for approving words. +He had come forward from his standing ground behind his chair to +welcome Crosbie, and had shaken his hand cordially. Fiasco also had +risen from his. seat, and had assured Crosbie in a whisper that he had +feathered, his nest uncommon well. Then he had sat down again. + +"Indeed you may, as far as I am concerned," said Butterwell. + +"I told the Chancellor of the Exchequer," said Sir Raffle, speaking +very loud and with much authority, "that unless he had some first-rate +man to send from elsewhere I could name a fitting candidate. 'Sir +Raffle,' he said, 'I mean to keep it in the office, and therefore shall +be glad of your opinion.' 'In that case, Mr Chancellor,' said I, ' Mr +Crosbie must be the man.' 'Mr Crosbie shall be the man,' said the +Chancellor. And Mr Crosbie is the man." + +"Your friend Sark spoke to Lord Brock about it," said Fiasco. Now the +Earl of Sark was a young nobleman of much influence at the present +moment, and Lord Brock was the Prime Minister. "You should thank Lord +Sark." + +"Had as much to do with it as if my footman had spoken," said Sir +Raffle. + +"I am very much obliged to the Board for their good opinion," said +Crosbie, gravely. "I am obliged to Lord Sark as well-and also to your +footman, Sir Raffle, if, as you seem to say, he has interested himself +in my favour." +"I didn't say anything of the kind," said Sir Raffle. + +"I thought it right to make you understand that it was my opinion, +given, of course, officially, which prevailed with the Chancellor of +the Exchequer. Well, gentlemen, as I shall be wanted in the city, I +will say good-morning to you. Is my carriage ready, Boggs?" Upon which +the attendant messenger opened the door, and the great Sir Raffle +Buffle took his final departure from the scene of his former labours. + +"As to the duties of your new office"-and Mr Optimist continued his +speech, taking no other notice of the departure of his enemy than what +was indicated by an increased brightness of his eye and a more +satisfactory tone of voice-" you will find yourself quite familiar with +them." + +"Indeed he will," said Butterwell. + +"And I am quite sure that you will perform them with equal credit to +yourself, satisfaction to the department, and advantage to the public. +We shall always be glad to have your opinion on any subject of +importance that may come before us; and as regards the internal +discipline of the office, we feel that we may leave it safely in your +hands. In any matter of importance you will, of course, consult us, and +I feel very confident that we shall go on together with great comfort +and with mutual confidence." Then Mr Optimist looked at his brother +commissioners, sat down in his arm-chair, and taking in his hands some +papers before him, began the routine business of the day. + +It was nearly five o'clock when, on this special occasion, the +secretary returned from the board-room to his own office. Not for a +moment had the weight been off his shoulders while Sir Raffle had been +bragging or Mr Optimist making his speech. He had been thinking, not of +them, but of Lily Dale; and though they had not discovered his +thoughts, they had perceived that he was hardly like himself. + +"I never saw a man so little elated by good fortune in my life," said +Mr Optimist. + +"Ah, he's got something on his mind," said Butterwell. He's going to be +married, I believe." + +"If that's the case, it's no wonder he shouldn't be elated," said Major +Fiasco, who was himself a bachelor. + +When in his own room again, Crosbie at once seized on a sheet of +note-paper, as though by hurrying himself on with it he could get that +letter to Allington written. But thought the paper was before him, and +the pen in his hand, the letter did not, would not, get itself written. +With what words was he to begin it? To whom should it be written? How +was he to declare himself the villain which he had made himself? The +letters from his office were taken away every night shortly after six, +and at six o'clock he had not written a word. + +"I will do it at home to-night," he said, to himself, and then, tearing +off a scrap of paper, he scratched those few lines which Lily received, +and which she had declined to communicate to her mother or sister. +Crosbie, as he wrote them, conceived that they would in some way +prepare the poor girl for the coming blow-that they would, at any rate, +make her know that all was not right; but in so supposing he had not +counted on the constancy of her nature, nor had he thought of the +promise which, she had given him that nothing should make her doubt +him. He wrote the scrap, and then taking his hat walked off through the +gloom of the November evening. up Charing Cross and St. Martin's Lane, +towards the Seven Dials and Bloomsbury into regions of the town with +which he had no business, and which he never frequented. He hardly knew +where he went or wherefore. How was he to escape from the weight of the +burden which was now crushing him? It seemed to him as though he would +change his position with thankfulness for that of the junior clerk in +his office, if only that junior clerk had upon his mind no such +betrayal of trust as that of which he was guilty. + +At half-past seven he found himself at Sebright's, and there he dined. +A man will dine, even though his heart be breaking. Then he got into a +cab, and had himself taken home to Mount Street. During his walk he had +sworn to himself that he would not go to bed that night till the letter +was written and posted. It was twelve before the first words were +marked on the paper, and yet he kept his oath. Between two and three, +in the cold moonlight, he crawled out and deposited his letter in the +nearest post-office. + +CHAPTER XXIX + +JOHN EAMES RETURNS TO BURTON CRESCENT + + +John Eames and Crosbie returned to town on the same day. It will be +remembered how Eames had assisted Lord de Guest in the matter of the +bull, and how great had been the earl's gratitude on the occasion. The +memory of this, and the strong encouragement which he received from his +mother and sister for having made such a friend by his gallantry, lent +some slight satisfaction to his last hours at home. But his two +misfortunes were too serious to allow of anything like real happiness. +He was leaving Lily behind him, engaged to he married to a man whom he +hated, and he was returning to Burton Crescent, where he would have to +face Amelia Roper-Amelia either in her rage or in her love. The +prospect of Amelia in her rage was very terrible to him; but his +greatest fear was of Amelia in her love. He had in his letter declined +matrimony; but what if she talked down all his objections, and carried +him off to church in spite of himself! + +When he reached London and got into a cab with his portmanteau, he +could hardly fetch up courage to bid the man drive him to Burton +Crescent. + +"I might as well go to an hotel for the night," he said to himself, +"and then I can learn how things are going on from Cradell at the +office." Nevertheless, he did give the direction to Burton Crescent, +and when it was once given felt ashamed to change it. But, as he was +driven up to the wellknown door, his heart was so low within him that +he might almost be said to have lost it. When the cabman demanded +whether he should knock, he could not answer; and when the maid-servant +at the door greeted him, he almost ran away. + +"Who's at home?" said he, asking the question in a very low voice. + +"There's missus," said the girl, "and Miss Spruce, and Mrs Lupex. He's +away somewhere, in his tantrums again; and there's Mr-" + +"Is Miss Roper here?" he said, still whispering. + +"Oh, yes! Miss Mealyer's here," said the girl, speaking in a cruelly +loud voice. "She was in the dining-room just now, putting out the +table. Miss Mealyer!" And the girl, as she called out the name, opened +the dining-room door. Johnny Eames felt that his knees were too weak to +support him. + +But Miss Mealyer was not in the dining-room. She had perceived the +advancing cab of her sworn adorer, and had thought it expedient to +retreat from her domestic duties, and fortify herself among her brushes +and ribbons. Had it been possible that she should know how very weak +and cowardly was the enemy against whom she was called upon to put +herself in action, she might probably have fought her battle somewhat +differently, and have achieved a speedy victory, at the cost of an +energetic shot or two. But she did not know. She thought it probable +that she might obtain power over him and manage him; but it did not +occur to her that his legs were so weak beneath him that she might +almost blow him over with a breath. None but the worst and most +heartless of women know the extent of their own power over men-as none +but the worst and most heartless of men know the extent of their power +over women. Amelia Roper was not a good specimen of the female sex, but +there were worse women than her. + +"She ain't there, Mr Eames; but you'll see her in the drawenroom," said +the girl. + +"And it's she'll be glad to see you back again, Mr Eames." But he +scrupulously passed the door of the upstairs sitting-room, not even +looking within it, and contrived to get himself into his own chamber +without having encountered anybody. + +"Here's yer 'ot water, Mr Eames," said the girl, coming up to him after +an interval of half-an-hour, "and dinner'll be on the table in ten +minutes. Mr Cradell is come in, and so is missus's son." + +It was still open to him to go out and dine at some eating-house in the +Strand. He could start out, leaving word that he was engaged, and so +postpone the evil hour. He had almost made up his mind to do so, and +certainly would have done it, had not the sitting-room door opened as +he was on the landing-place. The door opened, and he found himself +confronting the assembled company. First came Cradell, and leaning on +his arm, I regret to say, was Mrs Lupex-Egyptia conjux! Then there came +Miss Spruce with young Roper; Amelia and her mother brought up the rear +together. There was no longer question of flight now; and poor Eames, +before he knew what he was doing, was carried down into the dining-room +with the rest of the company. They were all glad to see him, and +welcomed him back warmly, but he was so much beside himself that he +could not ascertain whether Amelia's voice was joined with the others. +He was already seated at table, and had before him a plate of soup, +before he recognised the fact that he was sitting between Mrs Roper and +Mrs Lupex. The latter lady had separated herself from Mr Cradell as she +entered the room. + +"Under all the circumstances perhaps it will be better for us to be +apart," she said. "A lady can't make herself too safe; can she, Mrs +Roper? There's no danger between you and me, is there, Mr +Eames-specially when Miss Amelia is opposite?" The last words, however, +were intended to be whispered into his ear. + +But Johnny made no answer to her; contenting himself for the moment +with wiping the perspiration from his brow. There was Amelia opposite +to him, looking at him-the very Amelia to whom he had written, +declining the honour of marrying her. Of what her mood towards him +might be, he could form no judgment from her looks. Her face was simply +stern and impassive, and she seemed inclined to eat her dinner in +silence. A slight smile of derision had passed across her face as she +heard Mrs Lupex whisper, and it might have been discerned that her +nose, at the same time, became somewhat elevated; but she said not a +word. + +"I hope you've enjoyed yourself, Mr Eames, among the vernal beauties of +the country," said Mrs Lupex. + +"Very much, thank you," he replied. + +"There's nothing like the country at this autumnal season of the year. +As for myself, I've never been accustomed to remain in London after the +breaking up of the beau monde. We've usually been to Broadstairs, which +is a very charming place, with most elegant society, but now-"and she +shook her head, by which all the company knew that she intended to +allude to the sins of Mr Lupex. + +"I'd never wish to sleep out of London for my part," said Mrs Roper. + +"When a woman's got a house over her head, I don't think her mind's +ever easy out of it." + +She had not intended any reflection on Mrs Lupex for not having a house +of her own, but that lady immediately bristled up. + +"That's just what the snails say, Mrs Roper. And as for having a house +of one's own, it's a very good thing, no doubt, sometimes; but that's +according to circumstances. It has suited me lately to live in +lodgings, but there's no knowing whether I mayn't fall lower than that +yet, and have-" but here she stopped herself, and looking over at Mr +Cradell nodded her head. + +"And have to let them," said Mrs Roper. + +"I hope you'll be more lucky with your lodgers than I have been with +some of mine. Jemima, hand the potatoes to Miss Spruce. Miss Spruce, do +let me send you a little more gravy? There's plenty here, really." Mrs +Roper was probably thinking of Mr Todgers. + +"I hope I shall," said Mrs Lupex. + +"But, as I was saying, Broadstairs is delightful. Were you ever at +Broadstairs, Mr Cradell?" + +"Never, Mrs Lupex. I generally go abroad in my leave. One sees more of +the world, you know. I was at Dieppe last June, and found that very +delightful-though rather lonely. I shall go to Ostend this year; only +December is so late for Ostend. It was a deuced shame my getting +December, wasn't it, Johnny?" + +"Yes, it was," said Eames. + +"I managed better." + +"And what have you been doing, Mr Eames?" said Mrs Lupex, with one of +her sweetest smiles. + +"Whatever it may have been, you've not been false to the cause of +beauty, I'm sure." And she looked over to Amelia with a knowing smile. +But Amelia was engaged upon her plate, and went on with her dinner +without turning her eyes either on Mrs Lupex or on John Eames. + +"I haven't done anything particular," said Eames. + +"I've just been staying with my mother." + +"We've been very social here, haven't we, Miss Amelia?" continued Mrs +Lupex. + +"Only now and then a cloud comes across the heavens, and the lights at +the banquet are darkened." Then she put her handkerchief up to her +eyes, sobbing deeply, and they all knew that she was again alluding to +the sins of her husband. + +As soon as dinner was over the ladies with young Mr Roper retired, and +Eames and Cradell were left to take their wine over the dining-room +fire-or their glass of gin and water, as it might be. + +"Well, Caudle, old fellow," said one. + +"Well, Johnny, my boy," said the other. + +"What's the news at the office?" said Eames. + +"Muggeridge has been playing the very mischief." Muggeridge was the +second clerk in Cradell's room. + +"We're going to put him into Coventry and not speak to him except +officially. But to tell you the truth, my hands have been so full here +at home, that I haven't thought much about the office. What am I to do +about that woman? + +"Do about her? How do about her?" + +"Yes; what am I to do about her? How am I to manage with her? There's +Lupex off again in one of his fits of jealousy." + +"But it's not your fault, I suppose?" + +"Well; I can't just say. I am fond of her, and that's the long and the +short of it; deuced fond of her." + +"But, my dear Caudle, you know she's that man's wife." + +"Oh, yes, I know all about it. I'm not going to defend myself. It's +wrong, I know-pleasant, but wrong. But what's a fellow to do? I suppose +in strict morality I ought to leave the lodgings. But, by George, I +don't see why a man's to be turned out in that way. And then I couldn't +make a clean score with old mother Roper. But I say, old fellow, who +gave you the gold chain?" + +"Well; it was an old family friend at Guestwick; or rather, I should +say, a man who said he knew my father." + +"And he gave you that because he knew your governor! Is there a watch +to it? + +"Yes, there's a watch. It wasn't exactly that. There was some trouble +about a bull. To tell the truth, it was Lord de Guest; the queerest +fellow, Caudle, you ever met in. your life; but such a trump. I've got +to go and dine with him at Christmas." And then the old story of the +bull was told. + +"I wish I could find a lord in a field with a bull," said Cradell. We +may, however, be permitted to doubt whether Mr Cradell would have +earned a watch even if he had had his wish. + +"You see," continued Cradell, reverting, to the subject on which he +most delighted to talk, + +"I'm not responsible for that man's ill-conduct." + +"Does anybody say you are? + +"No; nobody says so. But people seem to think so. When he is by I +hardly speak to her. She is thoughtless and giddy as women are, and +takes my arm, and that kind of. thing, you know. It makes him mad with +rage, but upon my honour I don't think she means any harm." +"I don't suppose she does," said Eames. + +"Well; she may or she mayn't. I hope with all my heart she doesn't." + +"And where is he now?" + +"This is between ourselves, you know; but she went to find him this +afternoon. Unless he gives her money she can't stay here, nor, for the +matter of that, will she be able to go away. If I mention something to +you, you won't tell any one? ' + +"Of course I won't." + +"I wouldn't have it known to any one for the world. I've lent her seven +pounds ten. It's that which makes me so short with mother Roper." + +"Then I think you're a fool for your pains." + +"Ah, that's so like you. I always said you'd no feeling of real +romance. If I cared for a woman I'd give her the coat off my back." + +"I'd do better than that," said Johnny. + +"I'd give her the heart out of my body. I'd be chopped up alive for a +girl I loved; but it shouldn't be for another man's wife." + +"That's a matter of taste. But she's been to Lupex today at that house +he goes to in Drury Lane. She had a terrible scene there. He was going +to commit suicide in the middle of the street, and she declares that it +all comes from jealousy. Think what a time I have of it-standing +always, as one may say, on gunpowder. He may turn up here any moment, +you know. But, upon my word, for the life of me I cannot desert her. If +I were to turn my back on her she wouldn't have a friend in the world. +And how's L. D.? I'll tell you what it is-you'll have some trouble with +the divine Amelia." + +"Shall I?" + +"By Jove, you will. But how's L. D. all this time?" + +"L. D. is engaged to be married to a man named Adolphus Crosbie," said +poor Johnny, slowly. + +"If you please, we will not say any more about her." + +"Whew-w-w! That's what makes you so down in the mouth! L. D. going to +marry Crosbie! Why, that's the man who is to be the new secretary at +the General Committee Office. Old Huffle Scuffle, who was their chair, +has come to us, you know. There's been a general move at the GC, and +this Crosbie has got to be secretary. He's a lucky chap, isn't he?" + +"I don't know anything about his luck. He's one of those fellows that +make me hate them the first time I look at them. I've a sort of a +feeling that I shall live to kick him some day." + +"That's the time, is it? Then I suppose Amelia will have it all her own +way now." +"I'll tell you what, Caudle. I'd sooner get up through the trap-door, +and throw myself off the roof into the area, than marry Amelia Roper." + +"Have you and she had any conversation since you came back?" + +"Not a word." + +"Then I tell you fairly you've got trouble before you. Amelia and +Maria-Mrs Lupex, I mean-are as thick as thieves just at present, and +they have been talking you over. Maria-that is, Mrs Lupex-lets it all +out to me. You'll have to mind where you are, old fellow." + +Eames was not inclined to discuss the matter any further, so he +finished his toddy in silence. Cradell, however, who felt that there +was something in his affairs of which he had reason to be proud, soon +returned to the story of his own very extraordinary position. + +"By Jove, I don't know that a man was ever so circumstanced," he said. + +"She looks to me to protect her, and yet what can I do?" + +At last Cradell got up, and declared that he must go to the ladies. +"She's so nervous, that unless she has some one to countenance her she +becomes unwell." + +Eames declared his purpose of going to the divan, or to the theatre, or +to take a walk in the streets. The smiles of beauty had no longer +charms for him in Burton Crescent. + +"They'll expect you to take a cup of tea the first night," said +Cradell; but Eames declared that they might expect it. + +"I'm in no humour for it," said he. "I'll tell you what, Cradell, I +shall leave this place, and take rooms for myself somewhere. I'll never +go into a lodging-house again." + +As he so spoke, he was standing at the dining-room door; but he was not +allowed to escape in this easy way. Jemima, as he went out into the +passage, was there with a three-cornered note in her hand. + +"From Miss Mealyer," she said. "Miss Mealyer is in the back parlour all +by herself." + +Poor Johnny took the note, and read it by the lamp over the front door. + +"Are you not going to speak to me on the day of your return? It cannot +be that you will leave the house without seeing me for a moment. I am +in the back parlour." + +When he had read these words, he paused in the passage, with his hat +on. Jemima, who could not understand why any young man should hesitate +as to seeing his lady-love in the back parlour alone, whispered to him +again, in her audible way, + +"Miss Mealyer is there, sir; and all the rest on 'em's upstairs!" So +compelled, Eames put down his hat, and walked with slow steps into the +back parlour. + +How was it to be with the enemy? Was he to encounter Amelia in anger, +or Amelia in love? She had seemed to be stern and defiant when he had +ventured to steal a look at her across the dining-table, and now he +expected that she would turn upon him with loud threatenings and +protestations as to her wrongs. But it was not so. When he entered +the-room she was standing with her back to him, leaning on the +mantel-piece, and at the first moment she did not essay to peak. He +walked into the middle of the room and stood there, waiting for her to +begin. + +"Shut the door!" she said, looking over her shoulder. "I suppose you +don't want the girl to hear all you've got to say to me!" + +Then he shut the door; but still Amelia stood with her back to him, +leaning upon the mantelpiece. + +It did not seem that he had much to say, for he remained perfectly +silent. + +"Well!" said Amelia, after a long pause, and she then again looked over +her shoulder. "Well, Mr Eames!" + +"Jemima gave me your note, and so I've come," said he. + +"And is this the way we meet!" she exclaimed, turning suddenly upon +him, and throwing her long black hair back over her shoulders. There +certainly was some beauty about her. Her eyes were large and bright, +and her shoulders were well turned. She might have done as an artist's +model for a Judith, but I doubt whether any man, looking well into her +face, could think that she would do well as a wife. + +"Oh, John, is it to be thus, after love such as ours?" And she clasped +her hands together, and stood before him. + +"I don't know what you mean," said Eames. + +"If you are engaged to marry L. D., tell me so at once. Be a man, and +speak out, sir." + +"No," said Eames; "I am not engaged to marry the lady to whom you +allude." + +"On your honour?" + +"I won't have her spoken about. I'm not going to marry her, and that's +enough." + +"Do you think that I wish to speak of her? What can L. D. be to me as +long as she is nothing to you? Oh, Johnny, why did you write me that +heartless letter?" Then she leaned upon his shoulder-or attempted to do +so. + +I cannot say that Eames shook her off, seeing that he lacked the +courage to do so; but he shuffled his shoulder about so that the +support was uneasy to her, and she was driven to stand erect again. + +"Why did you write that cruel letter?" she said again. + +"Because I thought it best, Amelia. What's a man to do with ninety +pound a year, you know?" + +"But your mother allows you twenty." +"And what's a man to do with a hundred and ten?" + +"Rising five pounds every year," said the well-informed Amelia. "Of +course we should live here, with mamma, and you would just go on paying +her as you do now. If your heart was right, Johnny, you wouldn't think +so much about money. If you loved me-as you said you did-" Then a +little sob came, and the words were stopped. The words were stopped, +but she was again upon his shoulder. What was he to do? In truth, his +only wish was to escape, and yet his arm, quite in opposition to his +own desires, found its way round her waist. In such a combat a woman +has so many points in her favour! + +"Oh, Johnny," she said again, as soon as she felt the pressure of his +arm. + +"Gracious, what a beautiful watch you've got," and she took the trinket +out of his pocket. + +"Did you buy that?" + +"No; it was given to me." + +"John Eames, did L. D. give it you?" + +"No, no, no," he shouted, stamping on the floor as he spoke. + +"Oh, I beg your pardon," said Amelia, quelled for the moment by his +energy. + +"Perhaps it was your mother." + +"No; it was a man. Never mind about the watch now." + +"I wouldn't mind anything, Johnny, if you would tell me that you loved +me again. Perhaps I oughtn't to ask you, and it isn't becoming in a +lady; but how can I help it, when you know you've got my heart. Come +upstairs and have tea with us now, won't you?" + +What was he to do? He said that he would go up and have tea; and as he +led her to the door he put down his face and kissed her. Oh, Johnny +Eames! But then a woman in such a contest has so many points in her +favour. + +CHAPTER XXX + +IS IT FROM HIM? + + +I have already declared that Crosbie wrote and posted the fatal letter +to Allington, and we must now follow it down to that place. On the +morning following the squire's return to his own house Mrs Crump, the +post-mistress at Allington, received a parcel by post directed to +herself. She opened it, and found an enclosure addressed to Mrs Dale, +with a written request that she would herself deliver it into that +lady's own hand at once. This was Crosbie's letter. + +"It's from Miss Lily's gentleman," said Mrs Crump, looking at the +handwriting. "There's 'something up, or he wouldn't be writing to her +mamma in this way." But Mrs Crump lost no time in putting on her +bonnet, and trudging up with the letter to the Small House. + +"I must see the missus herself," said Mrs Crump. Whereupon Mrs Dale was +called downstairs into the hail, and there received the packet. Lily +was in the breakfast-parlour, and had seen the post-mistress arrive-had +seen also that she carried a letter in her hand. For a moment she had +thought that it was for her, and imagined that the old woman had +brought it herself from simple good-nature. But Lily, when she heard +her mother mentioned, instantly withdrew and shut the parlour door. Her +heart misgave her that something was wrong, but she hardly tried to +think what it might be. After all, the regular postman might bring the +letter she herself expected. Bell was not yet downstairs, and she stood +alone over the tea-cups on the breakfast-table, feeling that there was +something for her to fear. Her mother did not come at once into the +room, but, after a pause of a moment or two, went again upstairs. So +she remained, either standing against the table, or at the window, or +seated in one of the two arm-chairs, for a space of ten minutes, when +Bell entered the room. + +"Isn't mamma down yet?" said Bell. + +"Bell," said Lily, "something has happened. Mamma has got a letter." + +"Happened! What has happened? Is anybody ill? Who is the letter from?" +And Bell was going to return through the door in search of her mother. + +"Stop, Bell," said Lily. "Do not go to her yet. I think it's +from-Adolphus." + +"Oh, Lily, what do you mean?" + +"I don't know, dear. We'll wait a little longer. Don't look like that, +Bell." And Lily strove to appear calm, and strove almost successfully. + +"You have frightened me so," said Bell. + +"I am frightened myself. He only sent me one line yesterday, and now he +has sent nothing. If some misfortune should have happened to him! Mrs +Crump brought down the letter herself to mamma, and that is so odd, you +know." + +"Are you sure it was from him?" + +"No; I have not spoken to her. I will go up to her now. Don't you come, +Bell. Oh! Bell, do not look so unhappy." She then went over and kissed +her sister, and after that, with very gentle steps, made her way up to +her mother's room. + +"Mamma, may I come in?" she said. + +"Oh! my child!" + +"I know it is from him, mamma. Tell me all at once." + +Mrs Dale had read the letter. With quick, glancing eyes, she had made +herself mistress of its whole contents, and was already aware of the +nature and extent of the sorrow which had come upon them. It was a +sorrow that admitted of no hope. The man who had written that letter +could never return again; nor if he should return could he be welcomed +back to them. The blow had fallen, and it was to be borne. Inside the +letter to herself had been a very small note addressed to Lily. + +"Give her the enclosed," Crosbie had said in his letter, "if you do not +now think it wrong to do so. I have left it open, that you may read +it." Mrs Dale, however, had not yet read it, and she now concealed it +beneath her handkerchief. + +I will not repeat at length Crosbie's letter to Mrs Dale. It covered +four sides of letter-paper, and was such a letter that any man who +wrote it must have felt himself to be a rascal. We saw that he had +difficulty in writing it, but the miracle was, that any man could have +found it possible to write it. + +"I know you will curse me," said he; "and I deserve to be cursed. I +know that I shall be punished for this, and I must bear my punishment. +My worst punishment will be this-that I never more shall hold up my +head again." And then, again, he said-"My only excuse is my conviction +that I should never make her happy. She has been brought up as an +angel, with pure thoughts, with holy hopes, with a belief in all that +is good, and high, and noble. I have been surrounded through my whole +life by things low, and mean, and ignoble. How could I live with her, +or she with me? I know now that this is so; but my fault has been that +I did not know it when I was there with her. I choose to tell you all," +he continued, towards the end of the letter, "and therefore I let you +know that I have engaged myself to marry another woman. Ah! I can +foresee how bitter will be your feelings when you read this: but they +will not be so bitter as mine while I write it. Yes; I am already +engaged to one who will suit me, and whom I may suit. You will not +expect me to speak ill of her who is to be near and dear to me. But she +is one with whom I may mate myself without an inward conviction that I +shall destroy all her happiness by doing so. Lilian," he said, "shall +always have my prayers; and I trust that she may soon forget, in the +love of an honest man, that she ever knew one so dishonest as-Adolphus +Crosbie." + +Of what like must have been his countenance as he sat writing such +words of himself under the ghastly light of his own small, solitary +lamp? Had he written his letter at his office, in the day-time, with +men coming in and out of his room, he could hardly have written of +himself so plainly. He would have bethought himself that the written +words might remain, and be read hereafter by other eyes than those for +which they were intended. But, as he sat alone, during the small hours +of the night, almost repenting of his sin with true repentance, he +declared to himself that he did not care who might read them. They +should, at any rate, be true. Now they had been read by her to whom +they had been addressed, and the daughter was standing before the +mother to hear her doom. + +"Tell me all at once," Lily had said; but in what words was her mother +to tell her? + +"Lily," she said, rising from her seat, and leaving the two letters on +the couch; that addressed to the daughter was hidden beneath a +handkerchief, but that which she had read she left open and in sight. +She took both the girl's hands in hers as she looked into her face, and +spoke to her. + +"Lily, my child!" Then she burst into sobs, and was unable to tell her +tale. + +"Is it from him, mamma? May I read it? He cannot be-" + +"It is from Mr Crosbie." + +"Is he ill, mamma? Tell me at once. If he is ill I will go to him." + +"No, my darling, he is not ill. Not yet-do not read it yet. Oh, Lily! +It brings bad news; very bad news." + +"Mamma, if he is not in danger, I can read it. Is it bad to him, or +only bad to me?" + +At this moment the servant knocked, and not waiting for an answer half +opened the door. + +"If you please, ma'am, Mr Bernard is below, and wants to speak to you." + +"Mr Bernard! ask Miss Bell to see him." + +"Miss Bell is with him, ma'am, but he says that he specially wants to +speak to you." + +Mrs Dale felt that she could not leave Lily alone. She could not take +the letter away, nor could she leave her child with the letter open. + +"I cannot see him," said Mrs Dale. + +"Ask him what it is. Tell him I cannot come down just at present." And +then the servant went, and Bernard left his message with Bell. + +"Bernard," she had said, "do you know of anything? Is there anything +wrong about Mr Crosbie?" Then, in a few words, he told her all, and +understanding why his aunt had not come down to him, he went back to +the Great House. Bell, almost stupefied by the tidings, seated herself +at the table unconsciously, leaning upon her elbows. + +"It will kill her," she said to herself. + +"My Lily, my darling Lily! It will surely kill her." + +But the mother was still with the daughter, and the story was still +untold. + +"Mamma," said Lily, "whatever it is, I must, of course, be made to know +it. I begin to guess the truth. It will pain you to say it. Shall I +read the letter? + +Mrs Dale was astonished at her calmness. It could not be that she had +guessed the truth, or she would not stand like that, with tearless eyes +and unquelled courage before her. + +"You shall read it, but I ought to tell you first. Oh, my child, my own +one!" Lily was now leaning against the bed, and her mother was standing +over her, caressing her. + +"Then tell me," said she. + +"But I know what it is. He has thought it all over while away from me, +and he finds that it must not be as we have supposed. Before he went I +offered to release him, and now he knows that he had better accept my +offer. Is it so, mamma?" In answer to this Mrs Dale did not speak, but +Lily understood from her signs that it was so. + +"He might have written it to me, myself," said Lily very proudly. +"Mamma, we will go down to breakfast. He has sent nothing to me, then?" + +"There is a note. He bids me read it, but I have not opened it. It is +here." + +"Give it me," said Lily, almost sternly. "Let me have his last words to +me" and she took the note from her mother's hands. + +"Lily," said the note, "your mother will have told you all. Before you +read these few words you will know that you have trusted one who was +quite untrustworthy. I know that you will hate me.-I cannot even ask +you to forgive me. You will let me pray that you may yet be happy.-A. +C." + +She read these few words, still leaning against the bed. Then she got +up, and walking to a chair, seated herself with her back to her mother. +Mrs Dale moving silently after her stood over the back of the chair, +not daring to speak to her. So she sat for some five minutes, with her +eyes fixed upon the open window, and with Crosbie's note in her hand. + +"I will not hate him, and I do forgive him," she said at last, +struggling to command her voice, and hardly showing that she could not +altogether succeed in her attempt. "I may not write to him again, but +you shall write and tell him so. Now we will go down to breakfast." And +so saying, she got up from her chair. + +Mrs Dale almost feared to speak to her, her composure was so complete, +and her manner so stern and fixed. She hardly knew how to offer pity +and sympathy, seeing that pity seemed to be so little necessary, and +that even sympathy was not demanded. And she could not understand all +that Lily had said. What had she meant by the offer to release him? Had +there, then, been some quarrel between them before he went? Crosbie had +made no such allusion in his letter. But Mrs Dale did not dare to ask +any questions. + +"You frighten me, Lily," she said. "Your very calmness frightens me." + +"Dear mamma!" and the poor girl absolutely smiled a she embraced her +mother. + +"You need not be frightened by my calmness. I know the truth well. I +have been very unfortunate-very. The brightest hopes of my life are all +gone-and I shall never again see him whom I love beyond all the world!" +Then at last she broke down, and wept in her mother's arms. + +There was not a word of anger spoken then against him who had done all +this. Mrs Dale felt that she did not dare to speak in anger against +him, and words of anger were not likely to come from poor Lily. She, +indeed, hitherto did not know the whole of his offence, for she had not +read his letter. + +"Give it me, mamma," she said at last. "It has to be done sooner or +later." + +"Not now, Lily. I have told you all-all that you need know at present." + +"Yes; now, mamma," and again that sweet silvery voice became stern. "I +will read it now, and there shall be an end." Whereupon Mrs Dale gave +her the letter and she read it in silence. Her mother, though standing +somewhat behind her, watched her narrowly as she did so. She was now +lying over upon the bed, and the letter was on the pillow, as she +propped herself upon her arm. Her tears were running, and ever and +again she would stop to dry her eyes. Her sobs too were very audible, +but she went on steadily with her reading till she came to the line on +which Crosbie told that he had already engaged himself to another +woman. Then her mother could see that she paused suddenly, and that a +shudder slightly convulsed all her limbs. + +"He has been very quick," she said, almost in a whisper; and then she +finished the letter. "Tell him, mamma," she said, "that I do forgive +him, and I will not hate him. You will tell him that-from me; will you +not?" And then she raised herself from the bed. + +Mrs Dale would give her no such assurance. In her present mood her +feelings against Crosbie were of a nature which she herself hardly +could understand or analyse. She felt that if he were present she could +almost fly at him as would a tigress. She had never hated before as she +now hated this man. He was to her a murderer, and worse than a +murderer. He had made his way like a wolf into her little fold, and +torn her ewe-lamb and left her maimed and mutilated for life. How could +a mother forgive such an offence as that, or consent to be the medium +through which forgiveness should be expressed? + +"You must, mamma; or, if you do not, I shall do so. Remember that I +love him. You know what it is to have loved one single man. He has made +me very unhappy; I hardly know yet how unhappy. But I have loved him, +and do love him. I believe, in my heart, that he still loves me. Where +this has been there must not be hatred and unforgiveness." + +"I will pray that I may become able to forgive him," said Mrs Dale. + +"But you must write to him those words. Indeed you must, mamma! 'She +bids me tell you that she has forgiven you, and will not hate you.' +Promise me that!" + +"I can make no promise now, Lily. I will think about it, and endeavour +to do my duty." + +Lily was now seated, and was holding the skirt of her mother's dress. + +"Mamma," she said, looking up into her mother's face, "you must be very +good to me now; and I must be very good to you. We shall be always +together now. I must be your friend and counsellor; and be everything +to you, more than ever. I must fall in love with you now;" and she +smiled again, and the tears were almost dry upon her checks. + +At last they went down to the breakfast-room, from which Bell had not +moved. Mrs Dale entered the room first, and lily followed, hiding +herself for a moment behind her mother. Then she came forward boldly, +and taking Bell in her arms, clasped her close to her bosom. + +"Bell," she said, "he has gone." + +"Lily! Lily! Lily!" said Bell, weeping. + +"He has gone! We shall talk it over in a few days, and shall know how +to do so without losing ourselves in misery. Today we will say no more +about it. I am so thirsty, Bell; do give me my tea" and she sat herself +down at the breakfast-table. + +Lily's tea was given to her, and she drank it. Beyond that I cannot say +that any of them partook with much heartiness of the meal. They sat +there, as they would have sat if no terrible thunderbolt had fallen +among them, and no word further was spoken about Crosbie and his +conduct. Immediately after breakfast they went into the other room, and +Lily, as was her wont, sat herself immediately down to her drawing. Her +mother looked at her with wistful eyes, longing to bid her spare +herself, but she shrank from interfering with her. For a quarter of an +hour Lily sat over her board, with her brush or pencil in her hand, and +then she rose up and put it away. + +"It is no good pretending," she said. "I am only spoiling the things; +but I will be better tomorrow. I'll go away and lie down by myself, +mamma." And so she went. + +Soon after this Mrs Dale took her bonnet and went up to the Great +House, having received her brother-in-law's message from Bell. + +"I know what he has to tell me," she said; "but I might as well go. It +will be necessary that we should speak to each other about it." So she +walked across the lawn, and up into the hail of the Great House. + +"Is my brother in the book-room?", she said to one of the maids; and +then knocking at the door, went in unannounced. + +The squire rose from his arm-chair, and came forward to meet her. + +"Mary," he said, "I believe you know it all." + +"Yes," she said. + +"You can read that," and she handed him Crosbie's letter. + +"How was one to know that any man could be so wicked as that?" + +"And she has heard it? " asked the squire. + +"Is she able to bear it?" +"Wonderfully! She has amazed me by her strength. It frightens me; for I +know that a relapse must come. She has never sunk for a moment beneath +it. For myself, I feel as though it were her strength that enables me +to bear my share of it." And then she described to the squire all that +had taken place that morning. + +"Poor child!" said the squire. + +"Poor child! What can we do for her? Would it be good for her to go +away for a time? She is a sweet, good, lovely girl, and has deserved +better than that. Sorrow and disappointment come to us all; but they +are doubly heavy when they come so early." + +Mrs Dale was almost surprised at the amount of sympathy which he showed. + +"And what is to be his punishment?" she asked. + +"The scorn which men and women will feel for him; those, at least, +whose esteem or scorn are matters of concern to any one. I know no +other punishment. You would not have Lily's name brought before a +tribunal of law?" + +"Certainly not that." + +"And I will not have Bernard calling him out. Indeed, it would be for +nothing; for in these days a man is not expected to fight duels." + +"You cannot think that I would wish that." + +"What punishment is there, then? I know of none. There are evils which +a man may do, and no one can punish him. I know of nothing. I went up +to London after him, but he continued to crawl out of my way. What can +you do to a rat but keep clear of him?" + +Mrs Dale had felt in her heart that it would be well if Crosbie could +be beaten till all his bones were sore. I hardly know whether such +should have been a woman's thought, but it was hers. She had no wish +that he should be made to fight a duel. In that there would have been +much that was wicked, and in her estimation nothing that was just. But +she felt that if Bernard would thrash the coward for his cowardice she +would love her nephew better than ever she had loved him. Bernard also +had considered it probable that he might be expected to horsewhip the +man who had jilted his cousin, and, as regarded the absolute bodily +risk, he would not have felt any insuperable objection to undertake the +task. But such a piece of work was disagreeable to him in many ways. He +hated the idea of a row at his club. He was most desirous that his +cousin's name should not be made public. He wished to avoid anything +that might be impolitic. A wicked thing had been done, and he was quite +ready to hate Crosbie as Crosbie ought to be hated; but as regarded +himself, it made him unhappy to think that the world might probably +expect him to punish the man who had so lately been his friend. And +then he did not know where to catch him, or how to thrash him when +caught. He was very sorry for his cousin, and felt strongly that +Crosbie should not be allowed to escape. But what was he to do? + +"Would she like to go anywhere?" said the squire again, anxious, if he +could, to afford solace by some act of generosity. At this moment he +would have settled a hundred a year for life upon his niece if by so +doing he could have done her any good. + +"She will be better at home," said Mrs Dale. + +"Poor thing. For a while she will wish to avoid going out." + +"I suppose so;" and then there was a pause. + +"I'll tell you what, Mary; I don't understand it. On my honour I don't +understand it. It is to me as wonderful as though I had caught the man +picking my pence out of my pocket. I don't think any man in the +position of a gentleman would have done such a thing when I was young. +I don't think any man would have dared to do it. But now it seems that +a man may act in that way and no harm come to him. He had a friend in +London who came to me and talked about it as though it were some +ordinary, everyday transaction of life. Yes; you may come in, Bernard. +The poor child knows it all now." + +Bernard offered to his aunt what of solace and sympathy he had to +offer, and made some sort of half-expressed apology for having +introduced this wolf into their flock. + +"We always thought very much of him at his club," said Bernard. + +"I don't know much about your London clubs nowadays," said his uncle, +"nor do I wish to do so if the society of that man can be endured after +what he has now done." + +"I don't suppose half-a-dozen men will ever know anything about it," +said Bernard. + +"Umph!" ejaculated the squire. He could not say that he wished +Crosbie's villany to be widely discussed, seeing that Lily's name was +so closely connected with it. But yet he could not support the idea +that Crosbie should not be punished by the frown of the world at large. +It seemed to him that from this time forward any man speaking to +Crosbie should be held to have disgraced himself by so doing. + +"Give her my best love," he said, as Mrs Dale got up to take her leave; +"my very best love. If her old uncle can do anything for her she has +only to let me know. She met the man in my house, and I feel that I owe +her much. Bid her come and see me. It will be better for her than +moping at home. And Mary"-this he said to her, whispering into her +ear-"think of what I said to you about Bell." + +Mrs Dale, as she walked back to her own house, acknowledged to herself +that her brother-in-law's manner was different to her from anything +that she had hitherto known of him. + +During the whole of that day Crosbie's name was not mentioned at the +Small House. Neither of the girls stirred out, and Bell spent the +greater part of the afternoon sitting, with her arm round her sister's +waist, upon the sofa. Each of them had a book; but though there was +little spoken, there was as little read. Who can describe the thoughts +that were passing through Lily's mind as she remembered the hours which +she had passed with Crosbie, of his warm assurances of love, of his +accepted caresses, of her uncontrolled and acknowledged joy in his +affection? It had all been holy to her then; and now those things which +were then sacred had been made almost disgraceful by his fault. And yet +as she thought of this she declared to herself over and over again that +she would forgive him-nay, that she had forgiven him. + +"And he shall know it, too," she said, speaking almost out loud. +"Lily, dear Lily," said Bell, "turn your thoughts away from it for a +while, if you can." + +"They won't go away," said Lily. And that was all that was said between +them on the subject. + +Everybody would know it! I doubt whether that must not be one of the +bitterest drops in the cup which a girl in such circumstances is made +to drain. Lily perceived early in the day that the parlour-maid well +knew that she had been jilted. The girl's manner was intended to convey +sympathy; but it did convey pity; and Lily for a moment felt angry. But +she remembered that it must be so, and smiled upon the girl, and spoke +kindly to her. What mattered it? All the world would know it in a day +or two. + +On the following day she went up, by her mother's advice, to see her +uncle. + +"My child," said he, "I am sorry for you. My heart bleeds for you." + +"Uncle," she said, "do not mind it. Only do this for me-do not talk +about it-I mean to me." + +"No, no; I will not. That there should ever have been in my house so +great a rascal-" + +"Uncle! uncle! I will not have that! I will not listen to a word +against him from any human being-not a word! Remember that!" And her +eyes flashed as she spoke. + +He did not answer her, but took her hand and pressed it, and then she +left him. + +"The Dales were ever constant! " he said to himself, as he walked up +and down the terrace before his house. "Ever constant!" + +CHAPTER XXXI + +THE WOUNDED FAWN + + +Nearly two months passed away, and it was now Christmas time at +Allington. It may be presumed that there was no intention at either +house that the mirth should be very loud. Such a wound as that received +by Lily Dale was one from which recovery could not be quick, and it was +felt by all the family that a weight was upon them which made gaiety +impracticable. As for Lily herself it may be said that she bore her +misfortune with all a woman's courage. For the first week she stood up +as a tree that stands against the wind, which is soon to be shivered to +pieces because it will not bend. During that week her mother and sister +were frightened by her calmness and endurance. She would perform her +daily task. She would go out through the village, and appear at her +place in church on the first Sunday. She would sit over her book of an +evening, keeping back her tears; and would chide her mother and sister +when she found that they were regarding her with earnest anxiety. + +"Mamma, let it all be as though it had never been," she said. + +"Ah, dear! if that were but possible!" + +"God forbid that it should be possible inwardly," Lily replied. + +"But it is possible outwardly. I feel that you are more tender to me +than you used to be, and that upsets me. If you would only scold me +because I am idle, I should soon be better." But her mother could not +speak to her as she perhaps might have spoken had no grief fallen upon +her pet. She could not cease from those anxious tender glances which +made Lily know that she was looked on as a fawn wounded almost to death. + +At the end of the first week she gave way. + +"I won't get up, Bell," she said one morning, almost petulantly. + +"I am ill-I had better lie here out of the way. Don't make a fuss about +it. I'm stupid and foolish, and that makes me ill." + +Thereupon Mrs Dale and Bell were frightened, and looked into each +other's blank faces, remembering stories of poor broken-hearted girls +who had died because their loves had been unfortunate-as small wax +tapers whose lights are quenched if a breath of wind blows upon then +too strongly. But then Lily was in truth no such slight taper as that. +Nor was she the stem that must be broken because it will not bend. She +bent herself to the blast during that week of illness, and then arose +with her form still straight and graceful, and with her bright light +unquenched. + +After that she would talk more openly to her mother about her +loss-openly and with a true appreciation of the misfortune which had +befallen her; but with an assurance of strength which seemed to +ridicule the idea of a broken heart. + +"I know that I can bear it," she said, "and that I can bear it without +lasting unhappiness. Of course I shall always love him, and must feel +almost as you felt when you lost my father." In answer to this Mrs Dale +could say nothing. She could not speak out her thoughts about Crosbie, +and explain to Lily that he was unworthy of her love. Love does not +follow worth, and is not given to excellence-nor is it destroyed by +ill-usage, nor killed by blows and mutilation. When Lily declared that +she still loved the man who had so ill-used her, Mrs Dale would he +silent. Each perfectly understood the other, but on that matter even +they could not interchange their thoughts with freedom. + +"You must promise never to be tired of me, mamma," said Lily. + +"Mothers do not often get tired of their children, whatever the +children may do of their mothers." + +"I'm not so sure of that when the children turn out old maids. And I +mean to have a will of my own, too, mamma; and a way also, if it be +possible. When Bell is married I shall consider it a partnership, and I +shan't do what I'm told any longer." + +"Forewarned will be forearmed." + +"Exactly-and I don't want to take you by surprise. For a year or two +longer, till Bell is gone, I mean to be dutiful; but it would be very +stupid for a person to be dutiful all their lives." + +All of which Mrs Dale understood thoroughly. It amounted to an +assertion on Lily's part that she had loved once and could never love +again; that she had played her game, hoping, as other girls hope, that +she might win the prize of a husband; but that, having lost, she could +never play the game again. It was that inward conviction on Lily's part +which made her say such words to her mother. But Mrs Dale would by no +means allow herself to share this conviction. She declared to herself +that time would cure Lily's wound, and that her child might yet be +crowned by the bliss of a happy marriage. She would not in her heart +consent to that plan in accordance with which Lily's destiny in life +was to be regarded as already fixed. She had never really liked Crosbie +as a suitor, and would herself have preferred John Eames, with all the +faults of his hobbledehoyhood on his head. It might yet come to pass +that John Eames' love might be made happy. + +But in the meantime Lily, as I have said, had become strong in her +courage, and recommenced the work of living with no lackadaisical +self-assurance that because she had been made more unhappy than others, +therefore she should allow herself to be more idle. Morning and night +she prayed for him, and daily, almost hour by hour, she assured herself +that it was still her duty to love him. It was hard, this duty of +loving, without any power of expressing such love. But still she would +do her duty. + +"Tell me at once, mamma," she said one morning, "when you hear that the +day is fixed for his marriage. Pray don't keep me in the dark." + +"It is to be in February," said Mrs Dale. + +"But let me know the day. It must not be to me like ordinary days. But +do not look unhappy, mamma; I am not going to make a fool of myself. I +shan't steal off and appear in the church like a ghost." And then, +having uttered her little joke, a sob came, and she hid her face on her +mother's bosom. In a moment she raised it again. + +"Believe me, mamma, that I am not unhappy," she said. + +After the expiration of that second week Mrs Dale did write a letter to +Crosbie: + + +I suppose (she said) it is right that I should acknowledge the receipt +of your letter. I do not know that I have aught else to say to you. It +would not become me as a woman to say what I think of your conduct, but +I believe that your conscience will tell you the same things. If it do +not, you must, indeed, be hardened. I have promised my child that I +will send to you a message from her. She bids me tell you that she has +forgiven you, and that she does not hate you. May God also forgive you, +and may you recover his love. + +MARY DALE. + +I beg that no rejoinder may be made to this letter, either to myself or +to any of my family. + + +The squire wrote no answer to the letter which he had received, nor did +he take any steps towards the immediate punishment of Crosbie. Indeed +he had declared that no such steps could be taken, explaining to his +nephew that such a man could be served only as one serves a rat. + +"I shall never see him," he said once again; "if I did, I should not +scruple to hit him on the head with my stick; but I should think ill of +myself to go after him with such an object." + +And yet it was a terrible sorrow to the old man that the scoundrel who +had so injured him and his should escape scot-free. He had not forgiven +Crosbie. No idea of forgiveness had ever crossed his mind. He would +have hated himself had he thought it possible that he could be-induced +to forgive such an injury. + +"There is an amount of rascality in it-of low meanness, which I do not +understand," he would say over and over again to his nephew. And then +as he would walk alone on the terrace he would speculate within his own +mind whether Bernard would take any steps towards avenging; his +cousin's injury. "He is right," he would say to himself; "Bernard is +quite right. But when I was young I could not have stood it. In those +days a gentleman might have a fellow out who had treated him as he has +treated us. A man was satisfied in feeling that he had done something. +I suppose the world is different nowadays." The world is different; but +the squire by no means acknowledged in his heart that there had been +any improvement. + +Bernard also was greatly troubled in his mind. He would have had no +objection to fight a duel with Crosbie, had duels in these days been +possible. But he believed them to be no longer possible at any rate +without ridicule. And if he could not fight the man, in what other way +was he to punish him? Was it not the fact that for such a fault the +world afforded no punishment? Was it not in the power of a man like +Crosbie to amuse himself for a week or two at the expense of a girl's +happiness for life, and then to escape absolutely without any ill +effects to himself? + +"I shall be barred out of my club lest. I should meet him," Bernard +said to himself, "but he will not be barred out." Moreover, there was a +feeling within him that the matter would be one of triumph to Crosbie +rather than otherwise. In having secured for himself the pleasure of +his courtship with such a girl as Lily Dale, without encountering the +penalty usually consequent upon such amusement, he would be held by +many as having merited much admiration. He had sinned against all the +Dales, and yet the suffering arising from his sin was to fall upon the +Dales exclusively. Such was Bernard's reasoning, as he speculated on +the whole affair; sadly enough-wishing to be avenged, but not knowing +where to look for vengeance. For myself I believe him to have been +altogether wrong as to the light in which he supposed that Crosbie's +falsehood would be regarded by Crosbie's friends. Men will still talk +of such things lightly, professing that all is fair in love as it is in +war, and speaking almost with envy of the good fortunes of a practised +deceiver. But I have never come across the man who thought in this way +with reference to an individual case. Crosbie's own judgment as to the +consequences to himself of what he had done was more correct than that +formed by Bernard Dale. He had regarded the act as venial as long as it +was still to do while it was still within his power to leave it undone; +but from the moment of its accomplishment it had forced itself upon his +own view in its proper light. He knew that he had been a scoundrel, and +he knew that other men would so think of him. His friend Fowler Pratt, +who had the reputation of looking at women simply as toys, had so +regarded him. Instead of boasting of what he had done, he was as afraid +of alluding to any matter connected with his marriage as a man is of +talking of the articles which he has stolen. He had already felt that +men it his club looked askance at him; and, though he was no coward as +regarded his own skin and bones, he had an undefined fear lest some day +he might encounter Bernard Dale purposely armed with a stick. The +squire and his nephew were wrong in supposing that Crosbie was +unpunished. + +And as the winter came on he felt that he was closely watched by the +noble family of De Courcy. Some of that noble family he had already +learned to hate cordially. The Honourable John came up to town in +November, and persecuted him vilely: insisted on having dinners given +to him at Sebright's, of smoking throughout the whole afternoon in his +future brother-in-law's rooms, and on borrowing his future +brother-in-law's possessions; till at last Crosbie determined that it +would be wise to quarrel with the Honourable John-and he quarrelled +with him accordingly, turning him out of his rooms, and telling him in +so many words that he would have no more to do with him. + +"You'll have to do it, as I did," Mortimer Gazebee had said to him; "I +didn't like it because of the family, but Lady Amelia told me that it +must be so." Whereupon Crosbie took the advice of Mortimer Gazebee. + +But the hospitality of the Gazebees was perhaps more distressing to him +than even the importunities of the Honourable John. It seemed as though +his future sister-in-law was determined not to leave him alone. +Mortimer was sent to fetch him up for the Sunday afternoons, and he +found that he was constrained to go to the villa in St. John's Wood, +even in opposition to his own most strenuous will. He could not quite +analyse the circumstances of his own position, but he felt as though he +were a cock with his spurs cut off-as a dog with his teeth drawn. He +found himself becoming humble and meek. He had to acknowledge to +himself that he was afraid of Lady Amelia, and almost even afraid of +Mortimer Gazebee. He was aware that they watched him, and knew all his +goings out and comings in. They called him Adolphus, and made him tame. +That coming evil day in February was dinned into his ears. Lady Amelia +would go and look at furniture for him, and talked by the hour about +bedding and sheets. + +"You had better get your kitchen things at Tomkins'. They're all good, +and he'll give you ten per cent. off if you pay him ready money-which, +of course, you will, you know!" Was it for this that he had sacrificed +Lily Dale?-for this that he had allied himself with the noble house of +De Courcy? + +Mortimer had been at him about the settlements from the very first +moment of his return to London, and had already bound him up hand and +foot. His life was insured, and the policy was in Mortimer's hands. His +own little bit of money had been already handed over to be tied up with +Lady Alexandrina's little bit. It seemed to him that in all the +arrangements made the intention was that he should die off speedily, +and that Lady Alexandrina should be provided with a decent little +income, sufficient for St. John's Wood. Things were to be so settled +that he could not even spend the proceeds of his own money, or of hers. +They were to go, under the fostering hands of Mortimer Gazebee in +paying insurances. If he would only die the day after his marriage, +there would really be a very nice sum of money for Alexandrina, almost +worthy of the acceptance of an earl's daughter. Six months ago he would +have considered himself able to turn Mortimer Gazebee round his finger +on any subject that could be introduced between them. When they chanced +to meet Gazebee had been quite humble to him, treating him almost as a +superior being. He had looked down on Gazebee from a very great height. +But now it seemed as though he were powerless in this man's hands. + +But perhaps the countess had become this greatest aversion. She was +perpetually writing to him little notes in which she gave him +multitudes of commissions, sending him about as though he had been her +servant. And she pestered him with advice which was even worse than her +commissions, telling him of the style of life in which Alexandrina +would expect to live, and warning him very frequently that such an one +as he could not expect to be admitted within the bosom of so noble a +family without paying very dearly for that inestimable privilege. Her +letters had become odious to him, and he would chuck them on one side, +leaving them for the whole day unopened. He had already made up his +mind that he would quarrel with the countess also, very shortly after +his marriage; indeed, that he would separate himself from the whole +family if it were possible. And yet he had entered into this engagement +mainly with the view of reaping those advantages which would accrue to +him from being allied to the De Courcys! The squire and his nephew were +wretched in thinking that this man was escaping without punishment, but +they might have spared themselves that misery. + +It had been understood from the first that he was to spend his +Christmas at Courcy Castle. From this undertaking it was quite out of +his power to enfranchise himself: but he resolved that his visit should +be as short as possible. Christmas Day unfortunately came on a Monday, +and it was known to, the De Courcy world that Saturday was almost a +dies non at the General Committee Office. As to those three days there +was no escape for him; but he made Alexandrina understand that the +three Commissioners were men of iron as to any extension of those three +days. + +"I must be absent again in February, of course," he said, almost making +his wail audible in the words he used, "and therefore it is quite +impossible that I should stay now beyond the Monday." Had there been +attractions for him at Courcy Castle I think he might have arranged +with Mr Optimist for a week or ten days. + +"We shall be all alone," the countess wrote to him, "and I hope you +will have an opportunity of learning more of our ways than you have +ever really been able to do as yet." This was bitter as gall to him. +But in this world all valuable commodities have their price; and when +men such as Crosbie aspire to obtain for themselves an alliance with +noble families, they must pay the market price for the article which +they purchase. + +"You'll all come up and dine with us on Monday," the squire said to Mrs +Dale, about the middle of the previous week. + +"Well, I think not," said Mrs Dale, "we are better, perhaps, as we are." + +At this moment the squire and his sister-in-law were on much more +friendly terms than had been usual with them, and he took her reply in +good part, understanding her feeling. Therefore, he pressed his +request, and succeeded. +"I think you're wrong," he said, "I don't suppose that we shall have a +very merry Christmas. You and the girls will hardly have that whether +you eat your pudding here or at the Great House. But it will be better +for us all to make the attempt. It's the right thing to do. That's the +way I look at it." + +"I'll ask Lily," said Mrs Dale. + +"Do, do. Give her my love, and tell her from me that, in spite of all +that has come and gone, Christmas Day should still be to her a day of +rejoicing. We'll dine about three, so that the servants can have the +afternoon." + +"Of course we'll go," said Lily; "why not? We always do. And we'll have +blind-man's-buff with all the Boyces, as we had last year, if uncle +will ask them up." But the Boyces were not asked up for that occasion. + +But Lily, though she put on it all so brave a face, had much to suffer, +and did in truth suffer greatly. If you, my reader, ever chanced to +slip into the gutter on a wet day, did you not find that the sympathy +of the bystanders was by far the severest part of your misfortune? Did +you not declare to yourself that all might yet be well, if the people +would only walk on and not look at you? And yet you cannot blame those +who stood and pitied you; or, perhaps, essayed to rub you down, and +assist you in the recovery of your bedaubed hat. You, yourself, if you +see a man fall, cannot walk by as though nothing uncommon had happened +to him. It was so with Lily. The people of Allington could not regard +her with their ordinary eyes. They would look at her tenderly, knowing +that she was a wounded fawn, and thus they aggravated the soreness of +her wound. Old Mrs Hearn condoled with her, telling her that very +likely she would be better off as she was. Lily would not lie about it +in any way. + +"Mrs Hearn," she said, "the subject is painful to me." Mrs Hearn said +no more about it, but on every meeting between them she looked the +things she did not say. + +"Miss Lily!" said Hopkins, one day, "Miss Lily!"-and as he looked up +into her face a tear had almost formed itself in his old eye "I knew +what he was from the first. Oh, dear! oh, dear! if I could have had him +killed!" + +"Hopkins, how dare you?" said Lily. "If you speak to me again in such a +way, I will tell my uncle." She turned away from him but immediately +turned back again, and put out her little hand to him. + +"I beg your pardon," she said. "I know how kind you are, and I love you +for it." And then she went away. + +"I'll go after him yet, and break the dirty neck of him," said Hopkins +to himself, as he walked down the path. + +Shortly before Christmas Day she called with her sister at the +vicarage. Bell, in the course of the visit, left the room with one of +the Boyce girls, to look at the last chrysanthemums of the year. Then +Mrs Boyce took advantage of the occasion to make her little speech. + +"My dear Lily," she said, "you will think me cold if I do not say one +word to you." + +"No, I shall not," said Lily, almost sharply, shrinking from the finger +that threatened to touch her sore. "There are things which should never +be talked about." + +"Well, well; perhaps so," said Mrs Boyce. But for a minute or two she +was unable to fall back upon any other topic, and sat looking at Lily +with, painful tenderness. I need hardly say what were Lily's sufferings +under such a gaze; but she bore it, acknowledging to herself in her +misery that the fault did not lie with Mrs Boyce. How could Mrs Boyce +have looked at her otherwise than tenderly? + +It was settled, then, that Lily was to dine up at the Great House on +Christmas Day, and thus show to the Allington world that she was not to +be regarded as a person shut out from the world by the depth of her +misfortune. That she was right there can, I think, be no doubt; but as +she walked across the little bridge, with her mother and sister, after +returning from church she would have given much to be able to have +turned round, and have gone to bed instead of to her uncle's dinner. + +CHAPTER XXXII + +PAWKINS'S IN JERMYN STREET + + +The show of fat beasts in London took place this year on the twentieth +day of December, and I have always understood that a certain bullock +exhibited by Lord de Guest was declared by the metropolitan butchers to +have realised all the possible excellences of breeding, feeding, and +condition. No doubt the butchers of the next half-century will have +learned much better, and the Guestwick beast, could it be embalmed and +then produced, would excite only ridicule at the agricultural ignorance +of the present age; but Lord de Guest took the praise that was offered +to him, and found himself in a seventh heaven of delight. + +He was never so happy as when surrounded by butchers; graziers, and +salesmen who were able to appreciate the work of his life, and who +regarded him as a model nobleman. + +"Look at that fellow," he said to Eames, pointing to the prize bullock, +Eames had joined his patron at the show after his office hours, looking +on upon the living beef by gaslight. "Isn't he like his sire? He was +got by Lambkin, you know." + +"Lambkin," said Johnny, who had not as yet been able to learn much +about the Guestwick stock. + +"Yes, Lambkin. The bull that we had the trouble with. He has just got +his sire's back and fore-quarters. Don't you see?" + +"I dare say," said Johnny, who looked very hard, but could not see. + +"It's very odd," exclaimed the earl, "but do you know, that bull has +been as quiet since that day-as quiet as-as anything. I think it must +have been my pocket-handkerchief." + +"I dare say it was," said Johnny "or perhaps the flies." + +"Flies!" said the earl, angrily. "Do you suppose he isn't used to +flies? Come away. I ordered dinner at seven, and it's past six now. My +brother-in-law, Colonel Dale, is up in town, and he dines with us." So +he took Johnny's arm, and led him off through the show, calling his +attention as he went to several beasts which were inferior to his own. + +And then they walked down through Portman Square and Grosvenor Square, +and across Piccadilly to Jermyn Street. John Eames acknowledged to +himself that it was odd that he should have an earl leaning on his arm +as he passed along through the streets. At home, in his own life, his +daily companions were Cradell and Amelia Roper, Mrs Lupex and Mrs +Roper. The difference was very great, and yet he found it quite as easy +to talk to the earl as to Mrs Lupex. "You know the Dales down at +Allington, of course," said the earl. + +"Oh, yes, I know them." + +"But, perhaps, you never met the colonel." + +"I don't think I ever did." + +"He's a queer sort of fellow-very well in his way, but he never does +anything. He and my sister live at Torquay, and as far as I can find +out, they neither of them have any occupation of any sort. He's come up +to town now because we both had to meet our family lawyers and sign +some papers, but he looks on the journey as a great hardship. As for +me, I'm a year older than he is, but I wouldn't mind going up and down +from Guestwick every day." + +"It's looking after the bull that does it," said Eames. + +"By George! you're right, Master Johnny. My sister and Crofts may tell +me what they like, but when a man's out in the open air for eight or +nine hours every day, it doesn't much matter where he goes to sleep +after that. This is Pawkins's-capital good house, but not so good as it +used to be while old Pawkins was alive. Show Mr Eames up into a bedroom +to wash his hands." + +Colonel Dale was much like his brother in face, but was taller, even +thinner, and apparently older. When Eames went into the sitting-room, +the colonel was there alone, and had to take upon himself the trouble +of introducing himself. He did not get up from his arm-chair, but +nodded gently at the young man. + +"Mr Eames, I believe? I knew your father at Guestwick, a great many +years ago;" then he turned his face back towards the fire and sighed. + +"It's got very cold this afternoon," said Johnny, trying to make +conversation. + +"It's always cold in London," said the colonel. + +"If you had to be here in August you wouldn't say so." + +"God forbid," said the colonel, and he sighed again, with his eyes +fixed upon the fire. Eames had heard of the very gallant way in which +Orlando Dale had persisted in running away with Lord de Guest's sister, +in opposition to very terrible obstacles, and as he now looked at the +intrepid lover, he thought that there must have been a great change +since those days. After that nothing more was said till the earl came +down. + +Pawkins's house was thoroughly old-fashioned in all things, and the +Pawkins of that day himself stood behind the earl's elbow when the +dinner began, and himself removed the cover from the soup tureen. Lord +de Guest did not require much personal attention, but he would have +felt annoyed if this hadn't been done. As it was he had a civil word to +say to Pawkins about the fat cattle, thereby showing that he did not +mistake Pawkins for one of the waiters. Pawkins then took his +lordship's orders about the wine and retired. + +"He keeps up the old house pretty well," said the earl to his +brother-in-law. "It isn't like what it was thirty years ago, but then +everything of that sort has got worse and worse." + +"I suppose it has," said the colonel. "I remember when old Pawkins had +as good a glass of port as I've got at home-or nearly. They can't get +it now, you know." + +"I never drink port," said the colonel. "I seldom take anything after +dinner, except a little negus." + +His brother-in-law said nothing, but made a most eloquent grimace as he +turned his face towards his soup-plate. Eames saw it, and could hardly +refrain from laughing. When, at half-past nine o'clock, the colonel +retired from the room, the earl, as the door was closed, threw up his +hands, and uttered the one word "negus!" Then Eames took heart of grace +and had his laughter out. + +The dinner was very dull, and before the colonel went to bed Johnny +regretted that he had been induced to dine at Pawkins's. It might be a +very fine thing to be asked to dinner with an earl; and John Eames had +perhaps received at his office some little accession of dignity from +the circumstance, of which he had been not unpleasantly aware; but, as +he sat at the table, on which there were four or five apples and a +plate of dried nuts, looking at the earl, as he endeavoured to keep his +eyes open, and at the colonel, to whom it seemed absolutely a matter of +indifference whether his companions were asleep or awake, he confessed +to himself that the price he was paying was almost too dear. Mrs +Roper's tea-table was not pleasant to him, but even that would have +been preferable to the black dinginess of Pawkins's mahogany, with the +company of two tired old men, with whom he seemed to have no mutual +subject of conversation. Once or twice he tried a word with the +colonel, for the colonel sat with his eyes open looking at the fire. +But he was answered with monosyllables, and it was evident to him that +the colonel did not wish to talk. To sit still, with his hands closed +over each other on his lap, was work enough for Colonel Dale during his +after-dinner hours. + +But the earl knew what was going on. During that terrible conflict +between him and his slumber, in which the drowsy god fairly vanquished +him for some twenty minutes, his conscience was always accusing him of +treating his guests badly. He was very angry with himself, and tried to +arouse himself and talk. But his brother-in-law would not help him' in +his efforts; and even Eames was not bright in rendering him assistance. +Then for twenty minutes he slept soundly, and at the end of that he +woke himself with one of his own snorts. + +"By George!" he said, jumping up and standing on the rug, "we'll have +some coffee"; and after that he did not sleep any more. + +"Dale," said he, "won't you take some more wine? + +"Nothing more," said the colonel, still looking at the fire, and +shaking his head very slowly. + +"Come, Johnny, fill your glass." He had already got into the way of +calling his young friend Johnny, having found that Mrs Eames generally +spoke of her son by that name. + +"I have been filling my glass all the time," said Eames, taking the +decanter again in his hand as he spoke. + +"I'm glad you've found something to amuse you, for it has seemed to me +that you and Dale haven't had much to say to each other. I've been +listening all the time." + +"You've been asleep," said the colonel. + +"Then there's been some excuse for my holding my tongue," said the earl. + +"By-the-by, Dale, what do you think of that fellow Crosbie?" + +Eames's ears were instantly on the alert, and the spirit of dullness +vanished from him. + +"Think of him?" said the colonel. "He ought to have every bone in his +skin broken," said the earl. + +"So he ought," said Eames, getting up from his chair in his eagerness, +and speaking in a tone somewhat louder than was perhaps becoming in the +presence of his seniors. "So he ought, my lord. He is the most +abominable rascal that ever I met in my life. I wish I was Lily Dale's +brother." Then he sat down again, remembering that he was speaking in +the presence of Lily's uncle, and of the father of Bernard Dale, who +might be, supposed to occupy the place of Lily's brother. + +The colonel turned his head round, and looked at the young man with +surprise. + +"I beg your pardon, sir," said Eames, "but I have known Mrs Dale and +your nieces all my life." + +"Oh, have you?" said the colonel. + +"Nevertheless it is, perhaps, as well not to make too free with a young +lady's name. Not that I blame you in the least, Mr Eames." + +"I should think not," said the earl. + +"I honour him for his feeling. Johnny, my boy, if ever I am unfortunate +enough to meet that man, I shall tell him my mind, and I believe you +will do the same." On hearing this John Eames winked at the earl, and +made a motion with his head towards the colonel, whose back was turned +to him. And then the earl winked back at Eames. + +"De Guest," said the colonel, "I think I'll go upstairs; I always have +a little arrowroot in my own room." + +"I'll ring the bell for a candle," said the host. Then the colonel +went, and as the door was closed behind him, the earl raised his two +hands and uttered that single word, "negus!" Whereupon Johnny burst out +laughing, and coming round to the fire, sat himself down in the +arm-chair which the colonel had left. + +"I've no doubt it's all right," said the earl; "but I shouldn't like to +drink negus myself, nor yet to have arrowroot up in my bedroom." + +"I don't suppose there's any harm in it." + +"Oh dear, no; I wonder what Pawkins says about him. But I suppose they +have them of all sorts in an hotel." + +"The waiter didn't seem to think much of it when he brought it." + +"No, no. If he'd asked for senna and salts, the waiter wouldn't have +showed any surprise. By-the-by, you touched him up about that poor +girl." + +"Did I, my lord? I didn't mean it." + +"You see he's Bernard Dale's father, and the question is, whether +Bernard shouldn't punish the fellow for what he has done. Somebody +ought to do it. It isn't right that he should escape. Somebody ought to +let Mr Crosbie know what a scoundrel he has made himself." + +"I'd do it tomorrow, only I'm afraid-" + +"No, no, no," said the earl; "you are not the right person at all. What +have you got to do with it? You've merely known them as family friends, +but that's not enough." + +"No, I suppose not," said Eames, sadly. + +"Perhaps it's best as it is," said the earl. "I don't know that any +good would be got by knocking him over the head. And if we are to be +Christians, I suppose we ought to be Christians." + +"What sort of a Christian has he been?" + +"That's true enough; and if I was Bernard, I should be very apt to +forget my Bible lessons about meekness." + +"Do you know, my lord, I should think it the most Christian thing in +the world to pitch into him; I should, indeed. There are some things +for which a man ought to be beaten black and blue." + +"So that he shouldn't do them again?" + +"Exactly. You might say it isn't Christian to hang a man." + +"I'd always hang a murderer. It wasn't right to hang men for stealing +sheep." + +"Much better hang such a fellow as Crosbie," said Eames. + +"Well, I believe so. if any fellow wanted now to curry favour with the +young lady, what an opportunity he'd have." + +Johnny remained silent for a moment or two before he answered. + +"I'm not so sure of that," he said; mournfully, as though grieving at +the thought that there was no chance of currying favour with Lily by +thrashing her late lover. + +"I don't pretend to know much about girls," said Lord de Guest; "but I +should think it would be so. I should fancy that nothing would please +her so much as hearing that he had caught it, and that all the world +knew that he'd caught it." The earl had declared that he didn't know +much about, girls, and in so saving, he was no doubt right. + +"If I thought so," said Eames," I'd find him out tomorrow." + +"Why so? what difference does it make to you?" Then there was another +pause, during which Johnny looked very sheepish. + +"You don't mean to say that you're in love with Miss Lily Dale?" + +"I don't know much about being in love with her," said Johnny, turning +very red as he spoke. And then he made up his mind, in a wild sort of +way, to tell all the truth to his friend. Pawkins's port wine may, +perhaps, have something to do with the resolution. "But I'd go through +fire and water for her, my lord. I knew her years before he had ever +seen her, and have loved her a great deal better than he will ever love +any one. When I heard that she had accepted him, I had half a mind to +cut my own throat-or else his." + +"Highty tighty," said the earl. + +"It's very ridiculous, I know," said Johnny, "and, of course, she would +never have accepted me." + +"I don't see that at all." + +"I haven't a shilling in the world." + +"Girls don't care much for that." + +"And then a clerk in the Income-tax Office! It's such a poor thing." + +"The other fellow was only a clerk in another office." + +The earl living down at Guestwick did not understand, that the +Income-tax Office in the city, and the General Committee Office at +Whitehall, were as far apart as Dives and Lazarus and separated by as +impassable a gulf. + +"Oh, yes," said Johnny; "but his office is another kind of thing, and +then he was a swell himself." + +"By George, I don't see it," said the earl. + +"I don't wonder a bit at her accepting a fellow like that. I hated him +the first moment I saw him; but that's no reason she should hate him. +He had that sort of manner, you know. He was a swell, and girls like +that kind of thing. I never felt angry with her, but I could have eaten +him." As he spoke he looked as though he would have made some such +attempt had Crosbie been present. + +"Did you ever ask her to have you?" said the earl. + +"No; how could I ask her, when I hadn't bread to give her?" + +"And you never told her that you were in love with her, I mean, and all +that kind of thing." + +"She knows it now," said Johnny; + +"I went to say good-bye to her the other day when I thought she was +going to be married. I could not help telling her then." + +"But it seems to me, my dear fellow, that you ought to be very much +obliged to Crosbie-that is to say, if you've a mind to-" + +"I know what you mean, my lord. I am not a bit obliged to him. It's my +belief that all this will about kill her. As to myself, if I thought +she'd ever have me-" +Then he was again silent, and the earl could see that the tears were in +his eyes. + +"I think I begin to understand it," said the earl, "and I'll give you a +bit of advice. You come down and spend your Christmas with me at +Guestwick." + +"Oh, my lord!" + +"Never mind my-lording me, but do as I tell you. Lady Julia sent you a +message, though I forgot all about it till now. She wants to thank you +herself for what you did in the field." + +"That's all nonsense, my lord." + +"Very well; you can tell her so. You may take my word for this, too-my +sister hates Crosbie quite as much as you do. I think she'd pitch into +him, as you call it, herself, if she knew how. You come down to +Guestwick for the Christmas, and then go over to Allington and tell +them all plainly what you mean." + +"I couldn't say a word to her now." + +"Say it to the squire, then. Go to him, and tell him what you +mean-holding your head up like a man. Don't talk to me about swells. +The man who means honestly is the best swell I know. He's the only +swell I recognise. Go to old Dale, and say you come from me-from +Guestwick Manor. Tell him that if he'll put a little stick under the +pot to make it boil, I'll put a bigger one. He'll understand what that +means." + +"Oh, no, my lord." + +"But I say, oh, yes;" and the earl, who was now standing on the rug +before the fire, dug his hands deep down into his trousers' pockets. +"I'm very fond of that girl, and would do much for her. You ask Lady +Julia if I didn't say so to her before I ever knew of your casting a +sheep's-eye that way. And I've a sneaking kindness for you too, Master +Johnny. Lord bless you, I knew your father as well as I ever knew any +man; and to tell the truth, I believe I helped to ruin him. He held +land of me, you know, and there can't be any doubt that he did ruin +himself. He knew no more about a beast when he'd done, than-than-than +that waiter. If he'd gone on to this day he wouldn't have been any +wiser." Johnny sat silent, with his eyes full of tears. What was he to +say to his friend? + +"You come down with me," continued the earl, "and you'll find we'll +make it all straight. I dare say you're right about not speaking to the +girl just at present. But tell everything to the uncle, and then to the +mother. And, above all things, never think that you're not good enough +yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life +people will take you very much at your own reckoning. If you are made +of dirt, like that fellow Crosbie, you'll be found out at last, no +doubt. But then I don't think you are made of dirt." + +"I hope not." + +"And so do I. You can come down, I suppose, with me the day after +tomorrow?" + +"I'm afraid not. I have had all my leave." + +"Shall I write to old Buffle, and ask it as a favour?" +"No," said Johnny; "I shouldn't like that. But I'll see tomorrow, and +then I'll let you know. I can go down by the mail train on Saturday, at +any rate." + +"That won't be comfortable. See and come with me if you can. Now, +good-night, my dear fellow, and remember this-when I say a thing I mean +it. I think I may boast that I never yet went back from my word." + +The earl as he spoke gave his left hand to his guest, and looking +somewhat grandly up over the young man's head, he tapped his own breast +thrice with his right hand. As he went through the little scene, John +Eames felt that he was every inch an earl. + +"I don't know what to say to you, my lord." + +"Say nothing-not a word more to me. But say to yourself that faint +heart never won fair lady. Good-night, my dear boy, good-night. I dine +out tomorrow, but you can call and let me know at about six." + +Eames then left the room without another word, and walked out into the +cold air of Jermyn Street. The moon was clear and bright, and the +pavement in the shining light seemed to be as clean as a lady's hand. +All the world was altered to him since he had entered Pawkins's Hotel. +Was it then possible that Lily Dale might even yet become his wife? +Could it be true that he, even now, was in a position to go boldly to +the Squire of Allington, and tell him what were his views with +reference to Lily? And how far would he be justified in taking the earl +at his word? Some incredible amount of wealth would be required before +he could marry Lily Dale. Two or three hundred pounds a year at the +very least! The earl could not mean him to understand that any such sum +as that would be made up with such an object! Nevertheless he resolved +as he walked home to Burton Crescent that he would go down to +Guestwick, and that he would obey the earl's behest. As regarded Lily +herself he felt that nothing could be said to her for many a long day +as yet. + +"Oh, John, how late you are!" said Amelia, slipping out from the back +parlour as he let himself in with his latch key. + +"Yes, I am very late," said John, taking his candle, and passing her by +on the stairs without another word. + +CHAPTER XXXIII + +"THE TIME WILL COME" + + +"Did you hear that young Eames is staying at Guestwick Manor?" + +As these were the first words which the squire spoke to Mrs Dale as +they walked together up to the Great House, after church, on Christmas +Day, it was clear enough that the tidings of Johnny's visit, when told +to him, had made some impression. + +"At Guestwick Manor!" said Mrs Dale. + +"Dear me! Do you hear that, Bell? There's promotion for Master Johnny!" + +"Don't you remember, mamma," said Bell, "that he helped his lordship in +his trouble with the bull?" + +Lily, who remembered accurately all the passages of her last interview +with John Eames, said nothing, but felt, in some sort, sore at the idea +that he should be so near her at such a time. + +In some unconscious way she had liked him for coming to her and saying +all that he did say. She, valued him more highly after that scene than +she did before. But now, she would feel herself injured and hurt if he +ever made his way into her presence under circumstances as they existed. + +"I should not have thought that Lord de Guest was the man to show so +much gratitude for so slight a favour," said the squire. + +"However, I'm going to dine there tomorrow." + +"To meet young Eames?" said Mrs Dale. + +"Yes-especially to meet young Eames. At least, I've been very specially +asked to come, and I've been told that he is to be there." + +"And is Bernard going?" + +"Indeed I'm not," said Bernard, "I shall come over and dine with you." + +A half-formed idea flitted across Lily's mind, teaching her to imagine +for a moment that she might possibly be concerned in this arrangement. +But the thought vanished as quickly as it came, merely leaving some +soreness behind it. There are certain maladies which make the whole +body sore. The patient, let him be touched on any point-let him even be +nearly touched-will roar with agony as though his whole body had been +bruised. So it is also with maladies of he mind. Sorrows such as that +of poor Lily leave the heart sore at every point, and compel the +sufferer to be ever in fear of new wounds. Lily bore her cross bravely +and well; but not the less did it weigh heavily upon her at every turn +because she had the strength to walk as though she did not bear it. +Nothing happened to her, or in her presence, that did not in some way +connect itself with her misery. Her uncle was going over to meet John +Eames at Lord de Guest's. Of course the men there would talk about her, +and all such talking was an injury to her. + +The afternoon of that day did not pass away brightly. As long as the +servants were in the room the dinner went on much as other dinners. At +such times a certain amount of hypocrisy must always be practised in +closely domestic circles. At mixed dinner-parties people can talk +before Richard and William the same words that they would use if +Richard and William were not there. People so mixed do not talk +together their inward home thoughts. But when close friends are +together, a little conscious reticence is practised till the door is +tiled. At such a meeting as this that conscious reticence was of +service, and created an effect which was salutary. When the door was +tiled, and when the servants were gone, how could they be merry +together? By what mirth should the beards be made to wag on that +Christmas Day? + +"My father has been up in town," said Bernard. + +"He was with Lord de Guest at Pawkins's." + +"Why didn't you go and see him?" asked Mrs Dale. + +"Well, I don't know. He did not seem to wish it. I shall go down to +Torquay in February. I must be up in London you know, in a fortnight, +for good." Then they were all silent again for a few minutes. If +Bernard could have owned the truth, he would have acknowledged that he +had not gone up to London, because he did not yet know how to treat +Crosbie when he should meet him. His thoughts on this matter threw some +sort of shadow across poor Lily's mind, making her feel that her wound +was again opened. + +"I want him to give up his profession altogether," said the squire, +speaking firmly and slowly. "It would be better, I think, for both of +us that he should do so." + +"Would it be wise at his time of life," said Mrs Dale, "and when he has +been doing so well?" + +"I think it would be wise. If he were my son it would be thought better +that he should live here upon the property, among the people who are to +become his tenants, than remain up in London, or perhaps be sent to +India. He has one profession as the heir of this place, and that, I +think, should he enough." + +"I should have but an idle life of it down here," said Bernard. + +"That would be your own fault. But if you did as I would have you, your +life would not be idle." In this he was alluding to Bernard's proposed +marriage, but as to that nothing further could be said in Bell's +presence. Bell understood it all, and sat quite silent, with demure +countenance-perhaps even with something of sternness in her face. + +"But the fact is," said Mrs Dale, speaking in a low tone, and having +well considered what she was about to say, "that Bernard is not exactly +the same as your son." + +"Why not?" said the squire. "I have even offered to settle the property +on him if he will leave the service." + +"You do not owe him so much as you would owe your son-and, therefore, +he does not owe you as much as he would owe his father." + +"If you mean that I cannot constrain him, I know that well enough. As +regards money, I have offered to do for him quite as much as any father +would feel called upon to do for an only son." + +"I hope you don't think me ungrateful," said Bernard. + +"No, I do not; but I think you unmindful. I have nothing more to say +about it, however-not about that. If you should marry-"And then he +stopped himself, feeling that he could not go on in Bell's presence. + +"If he should marry," said Mrs Dale, "it may well be that his wife +would like a house of her own." + +"Wouldn't she have this house?," said the squire, angrily. "Isn't it +big enough? I only want one room for myself, and I'd give up that if it +were necessary." + +"That's nonsense," said Mrs Dale. + +"It isn't nonsense," said the squire. + +"You'll be squire of Allington for the next twenty years," said Mrs +Dale. "And as long as you are the squire, you'll be master of this +house; at least, I hope so. I don't approve of monarchs abdicating in +favour of young people." + +"I don't think Uncle Christopher would look at all well like Charles +the Fifth," said Lily. + +"I would always keep a cell for you, my darling, if I did," said the +squire, regarding her with that painful, special tenderness. Lily, who +was sitting next to Mrs Dale, put her hand out secretly and got hold of +her mother's, thereby indicating that she did not intend to occupy the +cell offered to her by her uncle; or to look to him as the companion of +her monastic seclusion. After that there was nothing more then said as +to Bernard's prospects. + +"Mrs Hearn is dining at the vicarage, I suppose?" asked the squire. + +"Yes; she went in after church," said Bell. + +"I saw her go with Mrs Boyce." + +"She told me she never would dine with them again after dark in +winter," said Mrs Dale. + +"The last time she was there, the boy let the lamp blow out as she was +going home, and she lost her way. The truth was, she was angry because +Mr Boyce didn't go with her." + +"She's always angry," said the squire. + +"She hardly speaks to me now. When she paid her rent the other day to +Jolliffe, she said she hoped it would do me much good; as though she +thought me a brute for taking it." + +"So she does," said Bernard. + +"She's very old, you know," said Bell. + +"I'd give her the house for nothing, if I were you, uncle," said Lily. + +"No, my dear; if you were me you would not. I should be very wrong to +do so. Why should Mrs Hearn have her house for nothing, any more than +her meat or her clothes? It would be much more reasonable were I to +give her so much money into her hand yearly; but it would be wrong in +me to do so, seeing that she is not an object of charity-and it would +be wrong in her to take it." + +"And she wouldn't take it," said Mrs Dale. + +"I don't think she would. But if she did, I'm sure she would grumble +because it wasn't double the amount. And if Mr Boyce had gone home with +her, she would have grumbled because he walked too fast." + +"She is very old," said Bell, again. + +"But, nevertheless, she ought to know better than to speak +disparagingly of me to my servants. She should have more respect for +herself." And the squire showed by the tone of his voice that he +thought very much about it. + +It was very long and very dull that Christmas evening, making Bernard +feel strongly that he would be very foolish to give up his profession, +and tie himself down to a life at Allington. Women are more accustomed +than men to long, dull, unemployed hours; and, therefore, Mrs Dale and +her daughters bore the tedium courageously. While he yawned, stretched +himself, and went in and out of the room, they sat demurely, listening +as the squire laid down the law on small matters, and contradicting him +occasionally when the spirit of either of them prompted her specially +to do so. + +"Of course you know much better than I do," he would say. + +"Not at all," Mrs Dale would answer. + +"I don't pretend to know anything about it. But-"So the evening wore +itself away; and when the squire was left alone at half-past nine, he +did not feel that the day had passed badly with him. That was his style +of life, and he expected no more from it than he got. He did not look +to find things very pleasant, and, if not happy, he was, at any rate, +contented. + +"Only think of Johnny Eames being at Guestwick Manor!" said Bell, as +they were going home. + +"I don't see why he shouldn't be there," said Lily. + +"I would rather it should be he than I, because Lady Julia is so +grumpy." + +"But asking your Uncle Christopher especially to meet him!" said Mrs +Dale. + +"There must be some reason for it." Then Lily felt the soreness come +upon her again, and spoke no further upon the subject. + +We all know that there was a special reason, and that Lily's soreness +was not false in its mysterious forebodings. Eames, on the evening +after his dinner at Pawkins's, had seen the earl, and explained to him +that he could not leave town till the Saturday evening; but that he +could remain over the Tuesday. He must be at his office by twelve on +Wednesday, and could manage to do that by an early train, from +Guestwick. + +"Very well, Johnny," said the earl, talking to his young friend with +the bedroom candle in his hand, as he was going up to dress. + +"Then I'll tell you what; I've been thinking of it. I'll ask Dale to +come over to dinner on Tuesday; and if he'll come, I'll explain the +whole matter to him myself. He's a man of business, and he'll +understand. If he won't come, why then you must go over to Allington, +and find him, if you can, on the Tuesday morning; or I'll go to him +myself, which will be better. You mustn't keep me now, as I am ever so +much too late." + +Eames did not attempt to keep him, but went away feeling that the whole +matter was being arranged for him in a very wonderful way. And when he +got to Allington he found that the squire had accepted the earl's +invitation. Then he declared to himself that there was no longer any +possibility of retractation for him. Of course he did not wish to +retract. The one great longing of his life was to call Lily Dale his +own. But he felt afraid of the squire-that the squire would despise him +and snub him, and that the earl would perceive that he had made a +mistake when he saw how his client was scorned and snubbed. It was +arranged that the earl was to take the squire into his own room for a +few minutes before dinner, and Johnny felt that he would be hardly able +to stand his ground in the drawing-room when the two old men should +make their appearance together. + +He got on very well with Lady Julia, who gave herself no airs, and made +herself very civil. Her brother had told her the whole story, and she +felt as anxious as he did to provide Lily with another husband in place +of that horrible man Crosbie. + +"She has been very fortunate in her escape," she said to her brother; +"very fortunate." The earl agreed with this, saying that in his opinion +his own favourite Johnny would make much the nicer lover of the two. +But Lady Julia had her doubts as to Lily's acquiescence. + +"But, Theodore, he must not speak to Miss Lilian Dale herself about it +yet a while." + +"No," said the earl, "not for a month or so." + +"He will have a better chance if he can remain silent for six months," +said Lady Julia. + +"Bless my soul! somebody else will have picked her up before that," +said the earl. + +In answer to this Lady Julia merely shook her head. + +Johnny went over to his mother on Christmas Day after church, and was +received by her and by his sister with great honour. And she gave him +many injunctions as to his behaviour at the earl's table, even +descending to small details about his boots and linen. But Johnny had +already begun to feel at the Manor that, after all, people are not so +very different in their ways of life as they are supposed to be. Lady +Julia's manners were certainly not quite those of Mrs Roper; but she +made the tea very much in the way in which it was made at Burton +Crescent, and Eames found that he could eat his egg, at any rate on the +second morning, without any tremor in his hand, in spite of the coronet +on the silver egg-cup. He did feel himself to be rather out of his +place in the Manor pew on the Sunday, conceiving that all the +congregation was looking at him; but he got over this on Christmas Day, +and sat quite comfortably in his soft corner during the sermon, almost +going to sleep. And when he walked with the earl after church to the +gate over which the noble peer had climbed in his agony, and inspected +the hedge through which he had thrown himself, he was quite at home +with his little jokes, bantering his august companion as to the mode of +his somersault. But be it always remembered that there are two modes in +which a young man may he free and easy with his elder and superior-the +mode pleasant and the mode offensive. Had it been in Johnny's nature to +try the latter, the earl's back would soon have been up, and the play +would have been over. But it was not in Johnny's nature to do so, and +therefore it was that the earl liked him. + +At last came the hour of dinner on Tuesday, or at least the hour at +which the squire had been asked to show himself at the Manor House. +Eames, as by agreement with his patron, did not come down so as to show +himself till after the interview. Lady Julia, who had been present at +their discussions, had agreed to receive the squire; and then a servant +was to ask him to step into the earl's own room. It was pretty to see +the way in which the three conspired together, planning and plotting +with an eagerness that was beautifully green and fresh. + +"He can be as cross as an old stick when he likes it," said the earl, +speaking of the squire, "and we must take care not to rub him the wrong +way." + +"I shan't know what to say to him when I come down," said Johnny. + +"Just shake hands with him and don't say anything," said Lady Julia. + +"I'll give him some port wine that ought to soften his heart," said the +earl, "and then we'll see how he is in the evening." + +Eames heard the wheels of the squire's little open carriage and +trembled. The squire, unconscious of all schemes, soon found himself +with Lady Julia, and within two minutes of his entrance was walked off +to the earl's private room. + +"Certainly," he said, "certainly"; and followed the man-servant. The +earl, as he entered, was standing in the middle of the room, and his +round rosy face was a picture of good humour. + +"I'm very glad you've come, Dale," said he. + +"I've something I want to say to you." + +Mr Dale, who neither in heart nor in manner was so light a man as the +earl, took the proffered hand of his host, and bowed his head slightly, +signifying that he was willing to listen to anything. + +"I think I told you," continued the earl, "that young John Eames is +down here; but he goes back tomorrow, as they can't spare him at his +office. He's a very good fellow-as far as I am able to judge, an +uncommonly good young man. I've taken a great fancy to him myself." +In answer to this Mr Dale did not say much. He sat down, and in some +general terms expressed his good-will towards all the Eames family. + +"As you know, Dale, I'm a very bad hand at talking, and therefore I +won't beat about the bush in what I've got to say at present. Of course +we've all heard of that scoundrel Crosbie, and the way he has treated +your niece Lilian." + +"He is a scoundrel-an unmixed scoundrel. But the less we say about that +the better. It is ill mentioning a girl's name in such a matter as +that." + +"But, my dear Dale, I must mention it at the present moment. Dear young +child, I would do anything to comfort her! And I hope that something +may be done to comfort her. 'Do you know that that young man was in +love with her long before Crosbie ever saw her?" + +"What-John Eames!" + +"Yes, John Eames. And I wish heartily for his sake that he had won her +regard before she had met that rascal whom you had to stay down at your +house." + +"A man cannot help these things, De Guest," said the squire. + +"No, no, no! There are such men about the world, and it is impossible +to know them at a glance. He was my nephew's friend, and I am not going +to say that my nephew was in fault. But I wish-I only say that I +wish-she had first known what are this young man's feelings towards +her." + +"But she might not have thought of him as you do." + +"He is an uncommonly good-looking young fellow; straight made, broad in +the chest, with a good, honest eye, and a young man's proper courage. +He has never been taught to give himself airs like a dancing monkey; +but I think he's all the better for that." + +"But it's too late now, De Guest." + +"No, no; that's just where it is. It mustn't be too late! That child is +not to lose her whole life because a villain has played her false. Of +course she'll suffer. Just at present it wouldn't do, I suppose, to +talk to her about a new sweetheart. But, Dale, the time will come; the +time will come-the time always does come." + +"It has never come to you and me," said the squire, with the slightest +possible smile on his dry cheeks. The story of their lives had been so +far the same; each had loved, and each had been disappointed, and then +each had remained single through life. + +"Yes, it has," said the earl, with no slight touch of feeling and even +of romance in what he said. + +"We have retricked our beams in our own ways, and our lives have not +been desolate. But for her-you and her mother will look forward to see +her married some day." + +"I have not thought about it." + +"But I want you to think about it. I want to interest you in this +fellow's favour; and in doing so, I mean to be very open with you. I +suppose you'll give her something?" + +"I don't know, I'm sure," said the squire almost offended at an inquiry +of such a nature. + +"Well, then, whether you do or not, I'll give him something," said the +earl. + +"I shouldn't have ventured to meddle in the matter had I not intended +to put myself in such a position with reference to him as would justify +me in asking the question." And the peer as he spoke drew himself up to +his full height. + +"If such a match can be made, it shall not be a bad marriage for your +niece in a pecuniary point of view. I shall have pleasure in giving to +him; but I shall have more pleasure if she can share what I give." + +"She ought to be very much obliged to you," said the squire. + +"I think she would be if she knew young Eames. I hope the day may come +when she will be so. I hope that you and I may see them happy together, +and that you too may thank me for having assisted in making them so. +Shall we go in to Lady Julia now?" The earl had felt that he had not +quite succeeded; that his offer had been accepted somewhat coldly, and +had not much hope that further good could be done on that day, even +with the help of his best port wine. + +"Half a moment," said the squire. + +"There are matters as to which I never find myself able to speak +quickly, and this certainly seems to be one of them. If you will allow +me I will think over what you have said, and then see you again." + +"Certainly, certainly." + +"But for your own part in the matter, for your great generosity and +kind heart, I beg to offer you my warmest thanks." Then the squire +bowed low, and preceded the earl out of the room. + +Lord de Guest still felt that he had not succeeded. We may probably +say, looking at the squire's character and peculiarities, that no +marked success was probable at the first opening-out of such a subject. +He had said of himself that he was never able to speak quickly in +matters of moment; but he would more correctly have described his own +character had he declared that he could not think of them quickly. As +it was, the earl was disappointed; but had he been able to read the +squire's mind, his disappointment would have been less strong. Mr Dale +knew well enough that he was being treated well, and that the effort +being made was intended with kindness to those belonging to him; but it +was not in his nature to be demonstrative and quick at expressions of +gratitude. So he entered the drawing-room with a cold, placid face, +leading Eames, and Lady Julia also, to suppose that no good had been +done. + +"How do you do, sir?" said Johnny, walking up to him in a wild sort of +manner-going through a premeditated lesson, but doing it without any +presence of mind. + +"How do you do, Eames?" said the squire, speaking with a very cold +voice. And then there was nothing further said till the dinner was +announced. +"Dale, I know you drink port," said the earl when Lady Julia left them. + +"If you say you don't like that, I shall say you know nothing about it." + +"Ah! that's the '20," said the squire, tasting it. + +"I should rather think it is," said the earl. I was lucky enough to get +it early, and it hasn't been moved for thirty years. I like to give it +to a man who knows it, as you do, at the first glance. Now there's my +friend Johnny there; it's thrown away upon him." + +"No, my lord, it is not. I think it's uncommonly nice." + +"Uncommonly nice! So is champagne, or ginger-beer, or lollipops-for +those who like them. Do you mean to tell me you can taste wine with +half a pickled orange in your mouth?" + +"It'll come to him soon enough," said the squire. + +"Twenty port won't come to him when be is as old as we are," said the +earl, forgetting that by that time sixty port will be as wonderful to +the then living seniors of the age as was his own pet vintage to him. + +The good wine did in some sort soften the squire; but, as a matter of +course, nothing further was said as to the new matrimonial scheme. The +earl did observe, however, that Mr Dale was civil, and even kind, to +his own young friend, asking a question here and there as to his life +in London, and saying something about the work at the Income-tax Office. + +"It is hard work," said Eames. + +"If you're under the line, they make a great row about it, send for +you, and look at you as though you'd been robbing the bank; but they +think nothing of keeping you till five." + +"But how long do you have for lunch and reading the papers?" said the +earl. + +"Not ten minutes. We take a paper among twenty of us for half the day. +That's exactly nine minutes to each; and as for lunch, we only have a +biscuit dipped in ink." + +"Dipped in ink!" said the squire. + +"It comes to that, for you have to be writing while you munch it." + +"I hear all about you," said the earl; + +"Sir Raffle Buffle is an old crony of mine." + +"I don't suppose he ever heard my name as yet" said Johnny. + +"But do you really know him well, Lord de Guest?" + +"Haven't seen him these thirty years; but I did know him." + +"We call him old Huffle Scuffle." + +"Huffle Scuffle! Ha, ha, ha! He always was Huffle Scuffle; a noisy, +pretentious, empty-headed fellow. But I oughtn't to say so before you, +young man. Come, we'll go into the drawing-room." + +"And what did he say?" asked Lady Julia, as soon as the squire was gone. + +There was no attempt at concealment, and the question was asked in +Johnny's presence. + +"Well, he did not say much. And coming from him, that ought to be taken +as a good sign. He is to think of it, and let me see him again. You +hold your head up, Johnny, and remember that you shan't want a friend +on your side. Faint heart never won fair lady." + +At seven o'clock on the following morning Eames started on his return +journey, and was at his desk at twelve o'clock-as per agreement with +his taskmaster at the Income-tax Office. + +CHAPTER XXXIV + +THE COMBAT + + +I have said that John Eames was at his office punctually at twelve; but +an incident had happened before his arrival there very important in the +annals which are now being told-so important that it is essentially +necessary that it should be described with some minuteness of detail. + +Lord de Guest, in the various conversations which he had had with Eames +as to Lily Dale and her present position, had always spoken of Crosbie +with the most vehement abhorrence. + +"He is a damned blackguard," said the earl, and the fire had come out +of his round eyes as he spoke. Now the earl was by no means given to +cursing and swearing, in the sense which is ordinarily applied to these +words. When he made use of such a phrase as that quoted above, it was +to be presumed that he in some sort meant what he said; and so he did, +and had intended to signify that Crosbie by his conduct had merited all +such condemnation as was the fitting punishment for blackguardism of +the worst description. + +"He ought to have his neck broken," said Johnny. + +"I don't know about that," said the earl. + +"The present times have become so pretty behaved that corporal +punishment seems to have gone out of fashion. I shouldn't care so much +about that, if any other punishment had taken its place. But it seems +to me that a blackguard such as Crosbie can escape now altogether +unscathed." + +"He hasn't escaped yet," said Johnny. + +"Don't you go and put your finger in the pie and make a fool of +yourself," said the earl. If it had behoved any one to resent in any +violent fashion the evil done by Crosbie, Bernard Dale, the earl's +nephew, should have been the avenger. This the earl felt, but under +these circumstances he was disposed to think that there should be no +such violent vengeance.. + +"Things were different when I was young," he said to himself. But Eames +gathered from the earl's tone that the earl's words were not strictly +in accordance with his thoughts, and he declared to himself over and +over again that Crosbie had not yet escaped. + +He got into the train at Guestwick, taking a first-class ticket, +because the earl's groom in livery was in attendance upon him. Had he +been alone he would have gone in a cheaper carriage. Very weak in him, +was it not? little also, and mean? My friend, can you say that you +would not have done the same at his age? Are you quite sure that you +would not do the same now that you are double his age? Be that as it +may, Johnny Eames did that foolish thing, and gave the groom in livery +half-a-crown into the bargain. + +"We shall have you down again soon, Mr John," said the groom, who +seemed to understand that Mr Eames was to be made quite at home at the +manor. + +He went fast to sleep in the carriage, and did not awake till the train +was stopped at the Barchester Junction. +"Waiting for the up-train from Barchester, sir," said the guard. +"They're always late." Then he went to sleep again, and was aroused in +a few minutes by some one entering the carriage in a great hurry. The +branch train had come in, just as the guardians of the line then +present had made up their minds that the passengers on the main line +should not be kept waiting any longer. The transfer of men, women, and +luggage was therefore made in great haste, and they who were now taking +their new seats had hardly time to look about them. An old gentleman, +very red about the gills, first came into Johnny's carriage, which up +to that moment he had shared with an old lady. The old gentleman was +abusing everybody, because he was hurried, and would not take himself +well into the compartment, but stuck in the doorway, standing on the +step. + +"Now, sir, when you're quite at leisure," said a voice behind the old +man, which instantly made Eames start up in his seat. + +"I'm not at all at leisure," said the old man; "and I'm not going to +break my legs if I know it." + +"Take your time, sir," said the guard. + +"So I mean," said the old man, seating himself in the corner nearest to +the open door, opposite to the old lady. Then Eames saw plainly that it +was Crosbie who had first spoken, and that he was getting into the +carriage. + +Crosbie at the first glance saw no one but the old gentleman and the +old lady, and he immediately made for the unoccupied corner seat. He +was busy with his umbrella and his dressingbag, and a little flustered +by the pushing and hurrying. The carriage was actually in motion before +he perceived that John Eames was opposite to him: Eames had, +instinctively, drawn up his legs so as not to touch him. He felt that +he had become very red in the face, and to tell the truth, the +perspiration had broken out upon his brow. It was a great +occasion-great in its imminent trouble, and great in its opportunity +for action. How was he to carry himself at the first moment of his +recognition by his enemy, and what was he to do afterwards? + +It need hardly be explained that Crosbie had also been spending his +Christmas with a certain earl of his acquaintance, and that he too was +returning to his office. In one respect he had been much more fortunate +than poor Eames, for he had been made happy with the smiles of his lady +love. Alexandrina and the countess had fluttered about him softly, +treating him as a tame chattel, now belonging to the noble house of De +Courcy, and in this way he had been initiated into the inner +domesticities of that illustrious family. The two extra men-servants, +hired to wait upon Lady Dumbello, had vanished. The champagne had +ceased to flow in a perennial stream. Lady Rosina had come out from her +solitude, and had preached at him constantly. Lady Margaretta had given +him some lessons in economy. The Honourable John, in spite of a late +quarrel, had borrowed five pounds from him. The Honourable George had +engaged to come and stay with his sister during the next May. The earl +had used a father-in-law's privilege, and had called him a fool. Lady +Alexandrina had told him more than once, in rather a tart voice, that +this must be done, and that that must be done; and the countess had +given him her orders as though it was his duty, in the course of +nature, to obey every word that fell from her. Such had been his +Christmas delights; and now, as he returned back from the enjoyment of +them, he found himself confronted in the railway carriage with Johnny +Eames. + +The eyes of the two met, and Crosbie made a slight inclination of the +head. To this Eames gave no acknowledgment whatever, but looked +straight into the other's face. Crosbie immediately saw that they were +not to know each other, and was well contented that it should be so. +Among all his many troubles, the enmity of John Eames did not go for +much. He showed no appearance of being disconcerted, though our friend +had shown much. He opened his bag, and taking out a book. was soon +deeply engaged in it, pursuing his studies as though the man opposite +was quite unknown to him. I will not say that his mind did not run away +from his book, for indeed there were many things of which he found it +impossible not to think; but it did not revert to John Eames. Indeed, +when the carriages reached Paddington, he had in truth all but +forgotten him; and as he stepped out of the carriage, with his bag in +his hand, was quite free from any remotest trouble on his account. + +But it had not been so with Eames himself. Every moment of the journey +had, for him been crowded with thought as to what he would do now that +chance had brought his enemy within his reach. He had been made quite +wretched by the intensity of his thinking; and yet, when the carriages +stopped, he had not made up his mind. His face had been covered with +perspiration ever since Crosbie had come across him, and his limbs had +hardly been under his own command. Here had come to him a great +opportunity, and he felt so little confidence. in himself that he +almost knew that he would not use it properly. Twice and thrice he had +almost flown at Crosbie's throat in the carriage, but he was restrained +by an idea that the. world and the police would be against him if he +did such a thing in the presence of that old lady. + +But when Crosbie turned his back upon him, and walked out, it was +absolutely necessary that he should do something. He was not going to +let the man escape, after, all that he had said as to the expediency of +thrashing him. Any other disgrace would be preferable to that. Fearing, +therefore, lest his enemy should be too quick for him, he hurried out +after him, and only just gave Crosbie time to turn round and face the +carriages. before he was upon him. + +"You confounded scoundrel!" he screamed out. + +"You confounded scoundrel!" and seized him by the throat, throwing +himself upon him, and almost devouring him by the fury of his eyes. + +The crowd upon the platform was not very dense, but there were quite +enough of people to make a very respectable audience for this little +play. Crosbie, in his dismay, retreated a step or two, and his retreat +was much accelerated by the weight of Eames's attack. He endeavoured to +free his throat from his foe's grasp; but in that he failed entirely. +For the minute, however, he did manage to escape any positive blow, +owing his safety in that respect rather to Eames's awkwardness than to +his own efforts. Something about the police he was just able to utter, +and there was, as a matter of course, an immediate call for a supply of +those functionaries. In about three minutes three policemen, assisted +by six porters, had captured our poor friend Johnny; but this had not +been done quick enough for Crosbie's purposes. The bystanders, taken by +surprise, had allowed the combatants to fall back upon Mr Smith's +book-stall, and there Eames laid his foe prostrate among the +newspapers, falling himself into the yellow shilling-novel depot by the +over fury of his own energy; but as he fell, he contrived to lodge one +blow with his fist in Crosbie's right eye-one telling blow; and Crosbie +had, to all intents and purposes, been thrashed. + +"Con-founded scoundrel, rascal, blackguard!" shouted Johnny, with what +remnants of voice were left to him, as the police dragged him off. + +"If you only knew what he's done." But in the meantime the policemen +held him fast. + +As a matter of course the first burst of public sympathy went with +Crosbie. He had been assaulted, and the assault had come from Eames. In +the British bosom there is so firm a love of well-constituted order, +that these facts alone were sufficient to bring twenty knights to the +assistance of the three policemen and the six porters; so that for +Eames, even had he desired it, there was no possible chance of escape. +But he did not desire it. One only sorrow consumed him at present. He +had, as he felt, attacked Crosbie, but had attacked him in vain. He had +had his opportunity, and had misused it. He was perfectly unconscious +of that happy blow, and was in absolute ignorance of the great fact +that his enemy's eye was already swollen and closed, and that in +another hour it would be as black as his hat. + +"He is a con-founded rascal!" ejaculated Eames, as the policemen and +porters hauled him about. + +"You don't know what he's done." + +"No, we don't," said the senior constable; "but we know what you have +done. I say, Bushers, where's that gentleman? He'd better come along +with us." + +Crosbie had been picked up from among the newspapers by another +policeman and two or three other porters, and was attended also by the +guard of the train, who knew him, and knew that he had come up from +Courcy Castle. Three or four hangers-on were standing also around him, +together with a benevolent medical man who was proposing to him an +immediate application of leeches. If he could have done as he wished, +he would have gone his way quietly, allowing Eames to do the same. A +great evil had befallen him, but he could in no way mitigate that evil +by taking the law of the man who had attacked him. To have the thing as +little talked about as possible should be his endeavour. What though he +should have Eames locked up and fined, and scolded by a police +magistrate? That would not in any degree lessen his calamity. If he +could have parried the attack, and got the better of his foe; if he +could have administered the black eye instead of receiving it, then +indeed he could have laughed the matter off at his club, and his +original crime would have been somewhat glozed over by his success in +arms. But such good fortune had not been his. He was forced, however, +on the moment to decide as to what he would do. + +"We've got him here in custody, sir," said Bushers, touching his hat. +It had become known from the guard that Crosbie was somewhat of a big +man, a frequent guest at Courcy Castle, and of repute and station in +the higher regions of the Metropolitan world. + +"The magistrates will be sitting at Paddington, now, sir-or will be by +the time we get there." + +By this time some mighty railway authority had come upon the scene and +made himself cognisant of the facts of the row-a stern official who +seemed to carry the weight of many engines on his brow; one at the very +sight of whom smokers would drop their cigars, and porters close their +fists against sixpences; a great man with an erect chin, a quick step, +and a well-brushed hat powerful with an elaborately upturned brim. This +was the platform-superintendent, dominant, even over the policemen. + +"Step into my room, Mr Crosbie," he said. "Stubbs, bring that man in +with you." And then, before Crosbie had been able to make up his mind +as to any other line of conduct, he found himself in the +superintendent's room, accompanied by the guard, and by the two +policemen who conducted Johnny Eames between them. + +"What's all this?" said the superintendent, still keeping on his hat, +for he was aware how much of the excellence of his personal dignity was +owing to the arrangement of that article; and as he spoke he frowned +upon the culprit with his utmost severity. + +"Mr Crosbie, I am very sorry that you should have been exposed to such +brutality on our platform." + +"You don't know what he has done," said Johnny. "He is the most +confounded scoundrel living. He has broken "-But then he stopped +himself. He was going to tell the superintendent that the confounded +scoundrel had broken a beautiful young lady's heart; but he bethought +himself that he would not allude more specially to Lily Dale in that +hearing. + +"Do you know who he is, Mr Crosbie?" said the superintendent. + +"Oh, yes," said Crosbie, whose eye was already becoming blue. + +"He is a clerk in the Income-tax Office, and his name is Eames. I +believe you had better leave him to me." + +But the superintendent at once wrote down the words "Income-tax +Office-Eames," on his tablet. "We can't allow a row like that to take +place on our platform and not notice it. I shall bring it before the +directors. It's a most disgraceful affair, Mr Eames-most disgraceful." + +But Johnny by this time had perceived that Crosbie's eye was in a state +which proved satisfactorily that his morning's work had not been thrown +away, and his spirits were rising accordingly. He did not care two +straws for the superintendent or even for the policemen, if only the +story could be made to tell well for himself hereafter. It was his +object to have thrashed Crosbie, and now, as he looked at his enemy's +face, he acknowledged that Providence had been good to him. + +"That's your opinion," said Johnny. + +"Yes, sir, it is," said the superintendent; "and I shall know how to +represent the matter to your superiors, young man." + +"You don't know all about it," said Eames; "and I don't suppose you +ever will. I had made up my mind what I'd do the first time I saw that +scoundrel there; and now I've done it. He'd have got much worse in the +railway carriage, only there was a lady there." + +"Mr Crosbie, I really think we had better take him before the +magistrates." + +To this, however, Crosbie objected. He assured the superintendent that +he would himself know how to deal with the matter-which, however, was +exactly what he did not know. Would the superintendent allow one of the +railway servants to get a cab for him, and to find his luggage? He was +very anxious to get home without being subjected to any more of Mr +Eames's insolence. + +"You haven't done with Mr Eames's insolence yet, I can tell you. All +London shall hear of it, and shall know why. If you have any shame in +you, you shall be ashamed to show your face." + +Unfortunate man! Who can say that punishment-adequate punishment-had +not overtaken him? For the present, he had to sneak home with a black +eye, with the knowledge inside him that he had been whipped by a clerk +in the Income-tax Office; and for the future-he was bound over to marry +Lady Alexandrina de Courcy! + +He got himself smuggled off in a cab, without being forced to go again +upon the platform-his luggage being brought to him by two assiduous +porters. But in all this there was very little balm for his hurt pride. +As he ordered the cabman to drive to Mount Street, he felt that he had +ruined himself by that step in life which he had taken at Courcy +Castle. Whichever way he looked he had no comfort. + +"D- the fellow!" he said, almost out loud in the cab; but though he did +with his outward voice allude to Eames, the curse in his inner thoughts +was uttered against himself. + +Johnny was allowed to make his way down to the platform, and there find +his own carpet-bag. One young porter, however, came up and fraternised +with him. + +"You guve it him tidy just at that last moment, sir. But, laws, sir, +you should have let out at him at fust. What's the use of clawing a +man's neck-collar?" + +It was then a quarter past eleven, but, nevertheless, Eames appeared at +his office precisely at twelve. + +CHAPTER XXXV + +VAE VICTIS + + +Crosbie had two engagements for that day; one being his natural +engagement to do his work at his office, and the other an engagement, +which was now very often becoming as natural, to dine at St. John's +Wood with Lady Amelia Gazebee. It was manifest to him when he looked at +himself in the glass hat he could keep neither of these engagements. + +"Oh, laws, Mr Crosbie," the woman of the house exclaimed when she saw +him. + +"Yes, I know," said he. "I've had an accident and got a black eye. +What's a good thing for it?" + +"Oh! an accident!" said the woman, who knew well that that mark had +been made by another man's fist. "They do say that a bit of raw beef is +about the best thing. But then it must be held on constant all the +morning." + +Anything would be better than leeches, which tell long-enduring tales, +and therefore Crosbie sat through the greater part of the morning +holding the raw beef to his eye. But it was necessary that he should +write two notes as he held it, one to Mr Butterwell at his office, and +the other to his future sister-in-law. He felt that it would hardly be +wise to attempt any entire concealment of the nature of his +catastrophe, as some of the circumstances would assuredly become known. +If he said that he had fallen over the coal-scuttle, or on to the +fender, thereby cutting his face, people would learn that he had +fibbed, and would learn also that he had had some reason for fibbing. +Therefore he constructed his notes with a phraseology that bound him to +no details. To Butterwell he said that he had had an accident-rather a +row-and that he had come out of it with considerable damage to his +frontispiece. He intended to be at the office on the next day, whether +able to appear decently there or not. But for the sake of decency he +thought it well to give himself that one half-day's chance. Then to the +Lady Amelia he also said that he had had an accident, and had been a +little hurt. + +"It is nothing at all serious, and affects only my appearance, so that +I had better remain in for a day. I shall certainly be with you on +Sunday. Don't let Gazebee trouble himself to come to me, as I shan't be +at home after today." Gazebee did trouble himself to come to Mount +Street so often, and South Audley Street, in which was Mr Gazebee's +office, was so disagreeably near to Mount Street, that Crosbie inserted +this in order to protect himself if possible. Then he gave special +orders that he was to be at home to no one, fearing that Gazebee would +call for him after the hours of business-to make him safe and carry him +off bodily to St. John's Wood. + +The beefsteak and the dose of physic and the cold-water application +which was kept upon it all night was not efficacious in dispelling that +horrid, black-blue colour by ten o'clock on the following morning. + +"It certainly have gone down, Mr Crosbie; it certainly have," said the +mistress of the lodgings, touching the part affected with her finger. + +"But the black won't go out of them all in a minute; it won't indeed. +Couldn't you just stay in one more day?" + +"But will one day do it, Mrs Phillips?" + +Mrs Phillips couldn't take upon herself to say that it would. "They +mostly come with little red streaks across the black before they goes +away," said Mrs Phillips, who would seem to have been the wife of a +prize-fighter, so well was she acquainted with black eyes. + +"And that won't be till tomorrow," said Crosbie, affecting to be +mirthful in his agony. + +"Not till the third day-and then they wears themselves out, gradual. I +never knew leeches do any good." + +He stayed at home the second day, and then resolved that he would go to +his office, black eye and all. In that morning's newspaper he saw an +account of the whole transaction, saying how Mr C- of the office of +General Committees, who was son about to lead to the hymeneal altar the +beautiful daughter of the Earl de C-, had been made the subject of a +brutal personal attack on the platform of the Great Western Railway +Station, and how he was confined to his room from the injuries which he +had received. The paragraph went on to state that the delinquent had, +as it was believed, dared to raise his eyes to the same lady, and that +his audacity had been treated with scorn by every member of the noble +family in question. + +"It was, however, satisfactory to know," so said the newspaper, "that +Mr C- had amply avenged himself, and had so flogged the young man in +question, that he had been unable to stir from his bed since the +occurrence." + +On reading this Crosbie felt that it would be better that he should +show himself at once, and tell as much of the truth as the world would +he likely to ascertain at last without his telling. So on that third +morning he put on his hat and gloves, and had himself taken to his +office, though the red-streaky period of his misfortune had hardly even +yet come upon him. The task of walking along the office passage, +through the messengers' lobby, and into his room, was very +disagreeable. Of course everybody looked at him, and, of course, he +failed in his attempt to appear as though he did not mind it. + +"Boggs," he said to one of the men as he passed by, "just see if Mr +Butterwell is in his room," and then, as he expected, Mr Butterwell +came to him after the expiration of a few minutes. + +"Upon my word, that is serious," said Mr Butterwell, looking into the +secretary's damaged face. + +"I don't think I would have come out if I had been you." + +"Of course it's disagreeable," said Crosbie; "but it's better to put up +with it. Fellows do tell such horrid lies if a man isn't seen for a day +or two. I believe it's best to put a good face upon it." + +"That's more than you can do just at present, eh, Crosbie?" And then Mr +Butterwell tittered. + +"But how on earth did it happen? The paper says that you pretty well +killed the fellow who did it." + +"The paper lies, as papers always do. I didn't touch him at all." + +"Didn't you, though? I should like to have had a poke at him after +getting such a tap in the face as that." + +"The policemen came, and all that sort of thing. One isn't allowed to +fight it out in a row of that kind as one would have to do on Salisbury +heath. Not that I mean to say that I could lick the fellow. How's a man +to know whether he can or not?" + +"How, indeed, unless he gets a licking-or gives it? But who was he, and +what's this about his having been scorned by the noble family?" + +"Trash and lies, of course. He had never seen any of the De Courcy +people." + +"I suppose the truth is, it was about that other-eh, Crosbie? I knew +you'd find yourself in some trouble before you'd done." + +"I don't know what it was about, or why he should have made such a +brute of himself. You have heard about those people at Allington? + +"Oh, yes; I have heard about them." + +"God knows, I didn't mean to say anything against them. They knew +nothing about it." + +"But the young fellow knew them? Ah, yes, I see all about it. He wants +to step into your shoes. I can't say that he sets about it in a bad +way. But what do you mean to do?" + +"Nothing." + +"Nothing! Won't that look queer? I think I should have him before the +magistrates." + +"You see, Butterwell, I am bound to spare that girl's name. I know I +have behaved badly." + +"Well, yes; I fear you have." + +Mr Butterwell said this with some considerable amount of decision in +his voice, as though he did not intend to mince matters, or in any way +to hide his opinion. Crosbie had got into a way of condemning himself +in this matter of his marriage, but was very anxious that others, on +hearing such condemnation from him, should say something in the way of +palliating his fault. It would be so easy for a friend to remark that +such little peccadilloes were not altogether uncommon, and that it +would sometimes happen in life that people did not know their own +minds. He had hoped for some such benevolence from Fowler Pratt, but +had hoped in vain. Butterwell was a good-natured, easy man, anxious to +stand well with all about him, never pretending to any very high tone +of feeling or of morals; and yet Butterwell would say no word of +comfort to him. He could get no one to slur over his sin for him, as +though it were no sin-only an unfortunate mistake; no one but the De +Courcys, who had, as it were, taken, possession of him and swallowed +him alive. + +"It can't be helped now," said Crosbie. + +"But as for that fellow who made such a brutal attack on me the other +morning, he knows that he is safe behind her petticoats. I can do +nothing which would not make some mention of her name necessary." +"Ah, yes; I see," said Butterwell. + +"It's very unfortunate; very. I don't know that I can do anything for +you. Will you come before the Board today?" + +"Yes; of course I shall," said Crosbie, who was becoming very sore. His +sharp ear had told him that all Butterwell's respect and cordiality +were gone-at any rate for the time. Butterwell, though holding the +higher official rank, had always been accustomed to treat him as though +he, the inferior, were to be courted. He had possessed, and had known +himself to possess, in his office as well as in the outside world, a +sort of rank much higher than that which from his position he could +claim legitimately. Now he was being deposed. There could be no better +touchstone in such a matter than Butterwell. He would go as the world +went, but he would perceive almost intuitively how the world intended +to go. + +"Tact, tact, tact," as he was in the habit of saying to himself when +walking along the paths of his Putney villa. Crosbie was now secretary, +whereas a few months before he had been simply a clerk; but, +nevertheless, Mr Butterwell's instinct told him that Crosbie had +fallen. Therefore he declined to offer any sympathy to the man in his +misfortune, and felt aware, as he left the secretary's room, that it +might probably be some time before he visited it again. + +Crosbie resolved in his soreness that henceforth he would brazen it +out. He would go to the Board, with as much indifference as to his +black eye as. he was able to assume, and if any one said aught to him +he would be ready with his answer. He would go to his club, and let him +who intended to show him any slight beware of him in his wrath. He +could not turn upon John Eames, but he could turn upon others if it +were necessary. + +He had not gained for himself a position before the world, and held it +now for some years, to allow himself to be crushed at once because he +had made a mistake. If the world, his world, chose to go to war with +him, he would be ready for the fight. As for Butterwell-Butterwell the +incompetent, Butterwell the vapid-for Butterwell, who in every little +official difficulty had for years past come to him, he would let +Butterwell know what it was to be thus disloyal to one who had +condescended to be his friend. He would show them all at the Board that +he scorned them, and could be their master. Then, too, as he was making +some other resolves as to his future conduct, he made one or two +resolutions respecting the De Courcy people. He would make it known to +them that he was not going to be their very humble servant. He would +speak out his mind with considerable plainness; and if upon that they +should choose to break off this "alliance," they might do so; he would +not break his heart. And as he leaned back in his arm chair, thinking +of all this, an idea made its way into his brain-a floating castle in +the air, rather than the image of a thing that might by possibility be +realised; and in this castle in the air he saw himself kneeling again +at Lily's feet, asking her pardon, and begging that he might once more +be taken to her heart. + +"Mr Crosbie is here today," said Mr Butterwell to Mr Optimist. + +"Oh, indeed," said Mr Optimist, very gravely; for he had heard all +about the row at the railway station. + +"They've made a monstrous show of him." + +"I am very sorry to hear it. It's so-so-so- If it were one of the +younger clerks, you know, we should tell him that it was discreditable +to the department." + +"If a man gets a blow in the eye, he can't help it, you know. He didn't +do it himself, I suppose," said Major Fiasco. + +"I am well aware that he didn't do it himself," continued Mr Optimist; + +"but I really think that, in his position, he should have kept himself +out of any such encounter." + +"He would have done so if he could, with all his heart," said the major. + +"I don't suppose he liked being thrashed any better than I should." + +"Nobody gives me a black eye," said Mr Optimist. + +"Nobody has as yet," said the major. + +"I hope they never will," said Mr Butterwell. Then, the hour for their +meeting having come round, Mr Crosbie came into the Board-room. + +"We have been very sorry to hear of this misfortune," said Mr Optimist, +very gravely. + +"Not half so sorry as I have been," said Crosbie, with a laugh. + +"It's an uncommon nuisance to have a black eye, and to go about looking +like a prize-fighter." + +"And like a prize-fighter that didn't win his battle, too," said Fiasco. + +"I don't know that there's much difference as to that, said Crosbie. + +"But the whole thing is a nuisance, and, if you please, we won't say +anything more about it." + +Mr Optimist almost entertained an opinion that it was his duty to say +something more about it. Was not he the chief Commissioner, and was not +Mr Crosbie secretary to the Board? Ought he, looking at their +respective positions, to pass over without a word of notice such a +manifest impropriety as this? Would not Sir Raffle Buffle have said +something had Mr Butterwell, when secretary, come to the office with a +black eye? He wished to exercise all the full rights of a chairman; +but, nevertheless, as he looked at the secretary he felt embarrassed, +and was unable to find the proper words. + +"H-m, ha, well; we'll go to business now, if you please," he said, as +though reserving to himself the right of returning to the secretary's +black eye, when the more usual business of the Board should be +completed. But when the more usual business of the Board had been +completed, the secretary left the room without any further reference to +his eye. + +Crosbie, when he got back to his own apartment, found Mortimer Gazebee +waiting there for him. + +"My dear fellow," said Gazebee, "this is a very nasty affair." + +"Uncommonly nasty," said Crosbie; so nasty that I don't mean to talk +about it to anybody." + +"Lady Amelia is quite unhappy." He always called her Lady Amelia, even +when speaking of her to his own brothers and sisters. He was too well +behaved to take the liberty of calling an earl's daughter by her plain +Christian name even though that earl's daughter was his own wife. She +fears that you have been a good deal hurt." + +"Not at all hurt; but disfigured, as you see." + +"And so you beat the fellow well that did it? + +"No, I didn't," said Crosbie very angrily. + +"I didn't beat him at all. You don't believe everything you read in the +newspapers; do you?" + +"No, I don't believe everything. Of course I didn't believe about his +having aspired to an alliance with Lady Alexandrina. That was untrue, +of course." Mr Gazebee showed by the tone of his voice that imprudence +so unparalleled as that was quite incredible. + +"You shouldn't believe anything; except this-that I have got a black +eye." + +"You certainly have got that. Lady Amelia thinks you would be more +comfortable if you would come up to us this evening. You can't go out, +of course; but Lady Amelia said, very good-naturedly, that you need not +mind with her." + +"Thank you, no; I'll come on Sunday." + +"Of course Lady Alexandrina will be very anxious to hear from her +sister; and Lady Amelia begged me very particularly to press you to +come." + +"Thank you, no; not today." + +"Why not?" + +"Oh, simply because I shall be better at home." + +"How can you be better at home? You can have anything that you want. +Lady Amelia won't mind, you know." + +Another beefsteak to his eye, as he sat in the drawing-room, a +cold-water bandage, or any little medical appliance of that sort-these +were the things which Lady Amelia would, in her domestic good nature, +condescend not to mind! + +"I won't trouble her this evening," said Crosbie. + +"Well, upon my word, I think you're wrong. All manner of stories will +get down to Courcy Castle, and to the countess's ears; and you don't +know what harm may come of it. Lady Amelia thinks she had better write +and explain it; but she can't do so till she has heard something about +it from you." + +"Look here, Gazebee. I don't care one straw what story finds its way +down to Courcy Castle." + +"But if the earl were to hear anything, and be offended? + +"He may recover from his offence as he best likes." + +"My dear fellow; that's talking wildly, you know." + +"What on earth do you suppose the earl can do to me? Do you think I'm +going to live in fear of Lord de Courcy all my life, because I'm going +to many his daughter? I shall write to Alexandrina myself today, and +you can tell her sister so. I'll be up to dinner on Sunday, unless my +face makes it altogether out of the question." + +"And you won't come in time for church?" + +"Would you have me go to church with such a face as this?" + +Then Mr Mortimer Gazebee went and when he got home, he told his wife +that Crosbie was taking things with a high hand. + +"The fact is, my dear, that he's ashamed of himself, and therefore +tries to put a bold face upon it. It was very foolish of him throwing +himself in the way of that young man-very; and so I shall tell him on +Sunday. If he chooses to give himself airs to me, I shall make him +understand that he is very wrong. He should remember now that the way +in which he conducts himself is a matter of moment to all our family." + +"Of course he should," said Mr Gazebee. + +When the Sunday came the red-streaky period had arrived. but had by no +means as yet passed away. The men at the office had almost become used +to it; but Crosbie, in spite of his determination to go down to the +club, had not yet shown himself elsewhere. Of course he did not go to +church, but at five he made his appearance at the house in St. John's +Wood. They always dined at five on Sundays, having some idea that by +doing so they kept the Sabbath better than they would have done had +they dined at seven. If keeping the Sabbath consists in going to bed +early, or is in any way assisted by such a practice, they were right. +To the cook that semi-early dinner might perhaps be convenient, as it +gave her an excuse for not going to church in the afternoon, as the +servants' and children's dinner gave her a similar excuse in the +morning. Such little, attempts at goodness-proceeding half the way, or +perhaps, as in this instance, one quarter of the way, on the +disagreeable path towards goodness, are very common with respectable +people, such as Lady Amelia. If she would have dined at one o'clock, +and have eaten cold meat one perhaps might have felt that she was +entitled to some praise. + +"Dear, dear, dear; this is very sad, isn't it, Adolphus?" she said on +first seeing him. + +"Well, it is sad, Amelia," he said. He always called her Amelia, +because she called him Adolphus; but Gazebee himself was never quite +pleased when he heard it. Lady Amelia was older than Crosbie, and +entitled to call him anything she liked; but he should have remembered +the great difference in their rank. + +"It is sad, Amelia," he said. +"But will you oblige me in one thing?" + +"What thing, Adolphus?" + +"Not to say a word more about it. The black eye is a bad thing, no +doubt, and has troubled me much; but the sympathy of my friends has +troubled me a great deal more. I had all the family commiseration from +Gazebee on Friday, and if it is repeated again, I shall lie down and +die." + +"Shall 'oo die Uncle Dolphus, 'cause 'oo've got a bad eye? asked De +Courcy Gazebee, the eldest hope of the family, looking up into his face. + +"No, my hero," said Crosbie, taking the boy up into his arms, "not +because I've got a black eye. There isn't very much harm in that, and +you'll have a great many before you leave school. But because the +people will go on talking about it." + +"But Aunt Dina on't like 'oo, if oo've got an ugly bad eye." + +"But, Adolphus," said Lady Amelia, settling herself for an argument, + +"that's all very well, you know-and I'm sure I'm very sorry to cause +you any annoyance-but really one doesn't know how to pass over such a +thing without speaking of it. I have had a letter from mamma." + +"I hope Lady de Courcy is quite well." + +"Quite well, thank you. But as a matter of course she is very anxious +about this affair. She had read what has been said in the newspapers, +and it may be necessary that Mortimer should take it up, as the family +solicitor." + +"Quite out of the question," said Adolphus. + +"I don't think I should advise any such step as that," said Gazebee. + +"Perhaps not; very likely not. But you cannot be surprised, Mortimer, +that my mother under such circumstances should wish to know what are +the facts of the case." + +" Not at all surprised," said Gazebee. + +"Then once for all, I'll tell you the facts. As I got out, of the train +a man I'd seen once before in my life made an attack upon me, and +before the police came up, I got a blow in the face. Now you know all +about it." + +At that moment dinner was announced. + +"Will you give Lady Amelia your arm?" said the husband. + +"It's a very sad occurrence," said Lady Amelia with a slight toss of +her head, "and, I'm afraid, will cost my sister a great deal of +vexation." + +"You agree with De Courcy, do you, that Aunt Dina won't like me with an +ugly black eye" +"I really don't think it's a joking matter," said the Lady Amelia. And +then there was nothing more said about it during the dinner. + +There was nothing more said about it during the dinner, but it was +plain enough from Lady Amelia's countenance, that she was not very well +pleased with her future brother-in-law's conduct. She was very +hospitable to him, pressing him to eat; but even in doing that she made +repeated little references to his present unfortunate state. She told +him that she did not think fried plum-pudding would be bad for him, but +that she would recommend him not to drink port wine after dinner. + +"By-the-by, Mortimer, you'd better have some claret up," she remarked. + +"Adolphus shouldn't take anything that is heating." + +"Thank you," said Crosbie. + +"I'll have some brandy-and-water, if Gazebee will give it me." + +"Brandy-and-water! + +" said Lady Amelia. Crosbie in truth was not given to the drinking of +brandy-and-water; but he was prepared to call for raw gin, if he were +driven much further by Lady Amelia's solicitude. + +At these Sunday dinners the mistress of the house never went away into +the drawing-room, and the tea was always brought into them at the table +on which they had dined. It was another little step towards keeping +holy the first day of the week. When Lady Rosina was there, she was +indulged with the sight of six or seven solid good books which were +laid upon the mahogany as soon as the bottles were taken off it. At her +first prolonged visit she had obtained for herself the privilege of +reading a sermon; but as on such occasions both Lady Amelia and Mr +Gazebee would go to sleep-and as the footman had also once shown a +tendency that way-the sermon had been abandoned. But the master of the +house, on these evenings, when his sister-in-law was present, was +doomed to sit in idleness, or else to find solace in one of the solid +good books. But Lady Rosina just now was in the country, and therefore +the table was left unfurnished. + +"And what am I to say to my mother?" said Lady Amelia, when they were +alone. + +"Give her my kindest regards," said Crosbie. It was quite clear both to +the husband and to the wife, that he was preparing himself for +rebellion against authority. + +For some ten minutes there was nothing said. Crosbie amused himself by +playing with the boy whom he called Dicksey, by way of a nickname for +De Courcy. + +"Mamma, he calls me Dicksey. Am I Dicksey? I'll call oo old Cross and +then Aunt Dina on't like 'oo." + +"I wish you would not call the child nicknames, Adolphus. It seems as +though you would wish to cast a slur upon the one which he bears." + +"I should hardly think that he would feel disposed to do that," said Mr +Gazebee. + +"Hardly, indeed," said Crosbie. + +"It has never yet been disgraced in the annals of our country by being +made into a nickname," said the proud daughter of the house. She was +probably unaware that among many of his associates her father had been +called Lord de Curse'ye, from the occasional energy of his language. + +"And any such attempt is painful in my ears. I think something of my +family, I can assure you, Adolphus, and so does my husband." + +"A very great deal," said Mr Gazebee. + +"So do I of mine," said Crosbie. + +"That's natural to all of us. One of my ancestors came over with +William the Conqueror. I think he was one of the assistant cooks in the +king's tent." + +"A cook!" said young De Courcy. + +"Yes, my boy, a cook. That was the way most of our old families were +made noble. They were cooks, or butlers to the kings-or sometimes +something worse." + +" But your family isn't noble? + +" No-I'll tell you how that was. The king wanted this cook to poison +half-a-dozen of his officers who wished to have a way of their own; but +the cook said, 'No, my Lord King; I am a cook, not an executioner.' So +they sent him into the scullery, and when they called all the other +servants barons and lords, they only called him Cookey. They've changed +the name to Crosbie since that, by degrees." + +Mr Gazebee was awestruck, and the face of the. Lady Amelia became very +dark. Was it not evident that this snake, when taken into their +innermost bosoms that they might there Warm him, was becoming an adder, +and preparing to sting them? There was very little more conversation +that evening, and soon after the story of the cook, Crosbie got up and +went away to his own home. + +CHAPTER XXXVI + +SEE THE CONQUERING HERO COMES + + +John Eames had reached his office precisely at twelve o'clock, but when +he did so he hardly knew whether he was standing on his heels or his +head. The whole morning had been to him one of intense excitement, and +latterly, to a certain extent, one of triumph. But he did not at all +know what might be the results. Would he be taken before a magistrate +and locked up? Would there be a row at the office? Would Crosbie call +him out, and, if so, would it be incumbent on him to fight a duel with +pistols? What would Lord de Guest say-Lord de Guest, who had specially +warned him not to take upon himself the duty of avenging Lily's wrongs? +What would all the Dale family say of his conduct? And, above all, what +would Lily say and think? Nevertheless, the feeling of triumph was +predominant; and now, at this interval of time, he was beginning to +remember with pleasure the sensation of his fist as it went into +Crosbie's eye. + +During his first day at the office he heard nothing about the affair, +nor did he say a word of it to any one. It was known in his room that +he had gone down to spend his Christmas holiday with Lord de Guest, and +he was treated with some increased consideration accordingly. And, +moreover, I must explain, in order that I may give Johnny Eames his +due, he was gradually acquiring for himself a good footing among the +income-tax officials. He knew his work, and did it with some manly +confidence in his own powers, and also with some manly indifference to +the occasional frowns of the mighty men of the department. He was, +moreover, popular-being somewhat of a radical in his official +demeanour, and holding by his own rights, even though mighty men should +frown In truth, he was emerging from his hobbledehoyhood and entering +upon his young manhood, having probably to go through much folly and +some false sentiment in that period of his existence, but still with +fair promise of true manliness beyond to those who were able to read +the signs of his character. + +Many questions on that first day were asked him about the glories of +his Christmas, but he had very little to say on the subject. Indeed +nothing could have been much more commonplace than his Christmas visit +it not been for the one great object which had taken him down to that +part of the country, and for the circumstance with which his holiday +had been ended. On neither of these subjects was he disposed to speak +openly; but as he walked home to Burton Crescent with Cradell, he did +tell him of the affair with Crosbie. + +"And you went in at him on the station?" asked Cradell, with admiring +doubt. + +"Yes I did. If I didn't do it there, where was I to do it? I'd said I +would and therefore when I saw him I did it." Then the whole affair was +told as to the black eye, the police, and the superintendent. + +"And what's to come next?" asked our hero. + +"Well, he'll put it in the hands of a friend, of course; as I did with +Fisher in: that affair with Lupex. And, upon my word, Johnny, I shall +have to do something of the kind again. His conduct last night was +outrageous; would you believe-" + +"Oh, he's a fool." + +"He's a fool you wouldn't like to meet when he's in one of his mad +fits, I can tell you that. I absolutely had to sit up in my own bedroom +all last night. Mother Roper told me that if I remained in the +drawing-room she would feel herself obliged to have a policeman in the +house. What could I do, you know? I made her have a fire for me of +course." + +"And then you went to bed." + +"I waited ever so long, because I thought that Maria would want to see +me. At last she sent me a note. Maria is so imprudent, you know. If he +had found anything in her writing, it would have been terrible, you +know-quite terrible. And who can say whether Jemima mayn't tell? + +"And what did she say?" + +"Come; that's tellings, Master Johnny. I took very good care to take it +with me to the office this morning, for fear of accidents." + +But Eames was not so widely awake to the importance of his friend's +adventures as he might have been had he not been weighted with +adventures of his own. + +"I shouldn't care so much," said he, "about that fellow Crosbie, going +to a friend, as I should about his going to a police magistrate." + +"He'll put it in a friend's hands, of course," said Cradell with the +air of a man who from experience was well up in such matters. + +"And I suppose you'll naturally come to me. It's a deuced bore to a man +in a public office, and all that kind of thing, of course. But I'm not +the man to desert my friend. I'll stand by you, Johnny, my boy." + +"Oh, thank you," said Eames, "I don't think that I shall want that." + +"You must be ready with a friend, you know." + +"I should write down to a man I know in the country, and ask his +advice, said Eames; "an older sort of friend, you know." + +"By Jove, old fellow, take care what you are about. Don't let them say +of you that you show the white feather. Upon my honour, I'd sooner have +an thing said of me than that. I would, indeed-anything." + +"I'm not afraid of that," said Eames, with a touch of scorn in his +voice. + +"There isn't much thought about white feathers nowadays-not in the way +of fighting duels." + +After that, Cradell managed to carry back the conversation to Mrs Lupex +and his own peculiar position, and as Eames did not care to ask from +his companion further advice in his own matters, he listened nearly in +silence till they reached Burton Crescent. + +"I hope you found the noble earl well," said Mrs Roper to him, as soon +as they were all seated at dinner." +"I found the noble earl pretty well, thank you," said Johnny. + +It had become plainly understood by all the Roperites that Eames's +position was quite altered since he had been honoured with the +friendship of Lord de Guest. Mrs Lupex, next to whom he always sat at +dinner, with a view to protecting her as it were from the dangerous +neighbourhood of Cradell, treated him with a marked courtesy. Miss +Spruce always called him "sir." Mrs Roper helped him the first of the +gentlemen, and was mindful about his fat and gravy, and Amelia felt +less able than she was before to insist upon the possession of his +heart and affections. It must not be supposed that Amelia intended to +abandon the fight, and allow the enemy to walk off with his forces; but +she felt herself constrained to treat him with a, deference that was +hardly compatible with the perfect equality, which should attend any +union of hearts. + +"It is such a privilege to be on visiting terms with the nobility," +said Mrs Lupex. When I was a girl, I used to be very intimate-" + +"You ain't a girl any longer, and so you'd better not talk about it," +said Lupex. Mr Lupex had been at that little shop in Drury Lane after +he came down from his scene-painting. + +"My dear, you needn't be a brute to me before all Mrs Roper's company. +If, led away by feelings which I will not now describe, I left my +proper circles in marrying you, you need heed not before all the world +teach me how much I have to regret." And Mrs Lupex, putting down her +knife and fork, applied her handkerchief to her eyes. + +"That's pleasant for a man over his meal, isn't it? said Lupex, +appealing to Miss Spruce. I have plenty of that kind of thing and you +can't think how I like it." + +"Them whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder," said Miss +Spruce. + +"As for me myself, I'm only an old woman." + +This little ebullition threw a gloom over the dinner-table, and nothing +more was said on the occasion as to the glories of Eames's career. But, +in the course of the evening, Amelia heard of the encounter which had +taken place at the railway station, and at once perceived that she +might use the occasion for her own purposes. + +"John," she whispered to her victim, finding an opportunity for coming +upon him when almost alone, "what is this I hear? I insist upon +knowing. Are you going to fight a duel?" + +"Nonsense," said Johnny. + +"But it is not nonsense. You don't know what my feelings will be, if I +think that such a thing is going to happen. But then you are so +hardhearted!" + +"I ain't hardhearted a bit, and I'm not going to fight a duel." + +"But is it true that you beat Mr Crosbie at the station?" + +"It is true. I did beat him." + +"Oh, John! not that I mean to say you were wrong, and indeed I honour +you for the feeling. There can be nothing so dreadful as a young man's +deceiving a young woman; and leaving her after he has won her +heart-particularly when she has had promise in plain words, or, +perhaps, even in, black and white." John thought of that horrid, +foolish, wretched note which he had written. + +"And a poor girl, if she can't right herself by a breach of promise, +doesn't know what to do, Does she, John?" + +"A girl who'd right herself that way wouldn't be worth having." + +"I don't know about that. When a poor girl is in such a position she +has to be said by her friends. I suppose, then, Miss Lily Dale won't +bring a breach of promise against him." + +This mention of Lily's name in such a place was sacrilege in the ears +of poor Eames. + +"I cannot tell," said he, "what may be the intention of the lady of +whom you speak. But from what I know of her friends, I should not think +that she will be disgraced by such a proceeding." + +"That may be all very well for Miss Lily Dale-" Amelia said, and then +she hesitated. It would not be well, she thought, absolutely to +threaten him as yet-not as long as there was any possibility that he +might be won without a threat. + +"Of, course I know all about it," she continued. She was your L. D., +you know. Not that I was ever jealous of her. To you she was no more +than one of childhood's friends. Was she, Johnny?" + +He stamped his foot upon the floor, and then jumped up from his seat. +"I hate all that sort of twaddle about childhood's friends, and you +know I do. You'll make me swear that I'll never come into this room +again." + +"Johnny!" + +"So I will. The whole thing makes me sick. And as for that Mrs Lupex-" + +"If this is what you learn, John, by going to a lord's house, I think +you had better stay at home with your own friends." + +"Of course I had much better stay at home with my own friends. Here's +Mrs Lupex, and at any rate I can't stand her." So he went off, and +walked round the Crescent, and down to the New Road and almost into the +Regent's Park, thinking of Lily Dale and of his own cowardice with +Amelia Roper. + +On the following morning he received a message, at about one o'clock by +the mouth of the Board-room messenger informing him that his presence +was required in the Board-room. + +"Sir Raffle Buffle has desired your presence, Mr Eames." + +"My presence, Tupper! what for?" said Johnny, turning upon the +messenger, almost with dismay. + +"Indeed I can't say, Mr Eames; but Sir Raffle Buffle has desired your +presence in the Board-room." + +Such a message as that in official life always strikes awe into the +heart of a young man. And yet, young men generally come forth from such +interviews without having received any serious damage and generally +talk about the old gentlemen whom they have encountered with a good +deal of light-spirited sarcasm-or chaff as it is called in the slang +phraseology of the day. It is that same "majesty which doth hedge a +king" that does it. The turkey-cock in his own farmyard is master of +the occasion and the thought of him creates fear. A bishop in his lawn, +a judge on the bench, a chairman in the big room at the end of a long +table, or a policeman with his bull's-eye lamp upon his beat, can all +make themselves terrible by means of those appanages of majesty which +have been vouchsafed to them. But how mean is the policeman in his own +home, and how few thought much of Sir Raffle Buffle as he sat asleep +after dinner in his old slippers. How well can I remember the terror +created within me by the air of outraged dignity with which a certain +fine old gentleman, now long since gone, could rub his hands slowly, +one on the other, and look up to the ceiling, slightly shaking his +head, as though lost in the contemplation of my iniquities! I would +become sick in my stomach, and feel as though my ankles had been +broken. That upward turn of the eye unmanned me, so completely that I +was speechless as regarded any defence. I think that that old man could +hardly have known the extent of his own power. + +Once upon a time a careless lad, having the charge of a bundle of +letters addressed to the King-petitions, and such like, which in the +course of business would not get beyond the hands of some +Lord-in-waiting's deputy assistant-sent the bag which contained them to +the wrong place; to, Windsor perhaps, if the Court were, in London; or +to St. James's, if it were at Windsor. He was summoned; and the great +man of the occasion contented himself with holding his hands up to the +heavens as he stood up from his chair, and, exclaiming twice, "Mis-sent +the Monarch's pouch! Mis-sent the Monarch's pouch!" That young man +never knew how he escaped from the Board-room; but for a time he was +deprived of all power of exertion, and could not resume his work till +he had had six months' leave of absence, and been brought round upon +rum and asses' milk. In that instance the peculiar use of the word +Monarch had a power which the official magnate had never contemplated. +The story, is traditional; but I believe that the circumstance happened +as lately as in the days of George the Third. + +John Eames could laugh at the present chairman of the Income-tax Office +with great freedom, and call him old Ruffle Scuffle and the like; but +now that he was sent for, he also in, spite of his radical +propensities, felt a little weak about his ankle joints. He knew, from +the first hearing of the message, that he was wanted with reference to +that affair at the railway station. Perhaps there might be a rule, that +any clerk should. be dismissed who used his fists in any public place; +there were many rules entailing the punishment of dismissal for many +offences-and he began to think that he did remember something of such a +regulation. However he got up, looked once round him upon his friends, +and then followed Tupper into the Board-room. + +"There's Johnny been sent for by old Scuffles," said one clerk. + +"That's about his row with Crosbie," said another. The Board can't do +anything to him for that." + +"Can't it?" said the first. "Didn't young Outonites have to resign +because of that row at the Cider Cellars though his cousin, Sir +Constant Outonites, did all that he could for him?" + +"But he was regularly up the spout with accommodation bills." +"I tell you that I wouldn't be in Eames's shoes for a trifle. Crosbie +is secretary at the Committee Office, where Scuffles was chairman +before he came here; and of course they're as thick as thieves. I +shouldn't wonder if they didn't make him go down and apologise." + +"Johnny won't do that," said the other. In the meantime John Eames was +standing in the August presence. Sir Raffle Buffle was throned in his +great oak armchair at the head of a long table in a very large room; +and by him, at the corner of the table, was seated one of the assistant +secretaries of the office. Another member of the Board was also at work +upon the long table; but he was reading and signing papers at some +distance from Sir Raffle, and paid no heed whatever to the scene. The +assistant secretary, looking on, could see that Sir Raffle was annoyed +by this want of attention on the part of his colleague, but all this +was lost upon Eames. + +"Mr Eames?" said Sir Raffle speaking with a peculiarly harsh voice. and +looking at the culprit through a pair of goldrimmed glasses, which he +perched for the occasion upon his big nose. + +"Isn't that Mr Eames?" + +"Yes," said the assistant secretary, "this is Eames." + +"Ah!"-and then there was a pause. + +"Come a little nearer, Mr Eames, will you?" and Johnny drew nearer +advancing noiselessly over the Turkey carpet."Let me see; in the second +class, isn't, he? Ah! Do you know, Mr Eames, that I have received a +letter from the secretary to the Directors of the Great Western Railway +Company, detailing circumstances which-if truly stated in that +letter-redound very much to your discredit?" + +"I did get into a row there yesterday, sir." + +"Got into a row! It seems to me that you have got into a very serious +row and that I must tell the Directors of the Great Western Railway +Company that the law must be allowed to take its course." + +"I shan't mind that, sir, in the least," said Eames, brightening up a +little under this view of the case. + +"Not mind that, sir!" said Sir Raffle-or rather, he shouted out the +words at the offender before him. I think that he overdid it, missing +the effect which a milder tone might have attained. Perhaps there was +lacking, to him some of that majesty of demeanour and dramatic +propriety-of voice which had been so efficacious in the little story as +to the King's bag of letters. As it was Johnny gave a slight jump, but +after his jump he felt better than he had been before. + +"'Not mind, sir, being dragged before the criminal tribunals of your +country, and being punished as a felon-or rather as a misdemeanour-for +an outrage committed on a public platform! Not mind it! What do you +mean, sir?" + +"I mean, that I don't think the magistrate would say very much about +it, sir. And I don't think Mr Crosbie would come forward." + +"But Mr Crosbie must come forward, young man. Do you suppose that an +outrage against the peace of the Metropolis is to go unpunished because +he may not wish to pursue the matter? I'm afraid you must be very +ignorant, young man." + +"Perhaps I am," said Johnny. + +"Very ignorant indeed-very ignorant indeed. And are you aware, sir, +that it would become a question, with the Commissioners of this Board +whether you could be retained in the service of this department if you +were publicly punished by a police magistrate for such a disgraceful +outrage as that?" + +Johnny looked round at the other Commissioner, but that gentleman did +not raise his face from his papers. + +"Mr Eames is a very good clerk," whispered the assistant secretary, but +in a voice which made his words audible to Eames "one of the best young +men we have" he added in a voice which was not audible. + +"Oh-ah; very well. Now, I'll tell you what, Mr Eames. I hope this will +be a lesson to you-a very serious lesson". + +The assistant secretary, leaning in his chair so as to be a little +behind the head of Sir Raffle, did manage to catch the eye of the other +Commissioner. The other Commissioner, barely looking round, smiled a +little and then the assistant secretary smiled also. Eames saw this, +and he smiled too. + +"Whether any ulterior consequences may still await the breach of the +peace of which you have been guilty, I am not yet prepared to say," +continued Sir Raffle. "You may go now."And Johnny returned to his own +place, with no increased reverence for the dignity of the chairman. + +On the following morning one of his colleagues showed him with great +glee the passage in the newspaper which informed the world that he had +been so desperately beaten by Crosbie that he was obliged to keep his +bed at this present time in consequence of the flogging that he had +received. Then his anger was aroused, and he bounced about the big room +of the Income-tax Office regardless of assistant secretaries, +head-clerks and all other official grandees whatsoever, denouncing the +iniquities of the public press, and declaring his opinion that it would +be better to live in Russia than in a country which allowed such +audacious falsehoods to be propagated. + +"He never touched me, Fisher; I don't think he ever tried; but, upon my +honour, he never touched me." + +"But, Johnny, it was bold in you to make up to Lord de Courcy's +daughter," said Fisher. + +"I never saw one of them in my life." + +"He's going it altogether among the aristocracy now, said another; I +suppose you wouldn't look ay anybody under a viscount?" + +"Can I help what that thief of an editor puts into his paper? Flogged! +Huffle Scuffle told me I was a felon, but that wasn't half so bad as +this fellow;" and Johnny kicked the newspaper across the room. + +"Indict him for a libel," said Fisher. + +"Particularly for saying you wanted to marry a countess's daughter," +said another clerk. + +"I never heard such a scandal in my life," declared a third; "and then +to say that the girl wouldn't look at you." + +But not the less was it felt by all in the office that Johnny Eames was +becoming a leading man among them, and that he was one with whom each +of them would be pleased to be intimate. + +And even among the grandees this affair of the railway station did him +no real harm. It was known that Crosbie had deserved, to be thrashed +and known that Eames had thrashed him. It was all very well for Sir +Raffle Buffle to talk of police magistrates and misdemeanours, but all +the world at the Income Tax Office knew very well that Eames had come +out from that affair with his head upright and his right foot foremost. + +"Never mind about the newspaper," a thoughtful old senior clerk said to +him. "As he did get the licking and you didn't, you can afford to laugh +at the newspaper." + +"And you wouldn't write to the editor?" + +"No, no; certainly not. No, one thinks of defending himself to a +newspaper except an ass-unless it be some fellow who wants to have his +name puffed. You may write what's as true as the gospel, but they'll +know how to make fun of it." + +Johnny, therefore, gave up his idea of an indignant letter to the +editor but he felt that he was bound to give some explanation of the +whole matter to Lord de Guest. The affair had happened as he was coming +from the earl's house, and all his. own concerns had now been made so +much a matter of interest to his kind friend, that he thought that he +could not with propriety leave the earl to learn from the newspapers +either the facts or the falsehoods. And, therefore, before he left his +office he wrote the following letter:- + +INCOME-TAX OFFICE, December 29, 186-. + +MY LORD- + +He thought a good deal about the style in which he ought to address the +peer, never having hitherto written to him. He began, + +"My dear Lord," on one sheet of paper, and then put it aside, thinking +that it looked over-bold. + +MY LORD-As you have been so very kind to me, I feel that I ought to +tell you what happened the other morning at the railway station, as I +was coming back from Guestwick. That scoundrel Crosbie got into the +same carriage with me at the Barchester Junction, and sat opposite to +me all the way up to London. I did not speak a word to him, or he to +me; but when he got out at the Paddington Station, I thought I ought +not to let him go away, so I-I can't say that I thrashed him as I +wished to do but I made an attempt, and I did give him a black eye. A +whole quantity of policemen got round us, and I hadn't a fair chance. I +know you will think that I was wrong, and perhaps I was; but what could +I do when he sat opposite to me there for two hours, looking as though +he thought himself the finest fellow in all London? + +They've put a horrible paragraph into one of the newspapers saying that +I got so "flogged" that I haven't been able to stir since. It is an +atrocious falsehood, as is all the rest of the newspaper account. I was +not touched. He was not nearly so bad a customer as the bull and seemed +to take it all very quietly. I must acknowledge, though, that he didn't +get such a beating as he deserved. + +Your friend Sir R. B. sent for me this morning, and told me I was a +felon. I didn't seem to care much for that, for he might as well have +called me a murderer or a burglar, but I shall care very much indeed if +I have made you angry with me. But what I most fear is the anger of +some one else-at Allington. + +Believe me to be, my Lord, + +Yours very much obliged and most sincerely, + +JOHN EAMES. + +"I knew he'd do it if ever he got the opportunity," said the earl when +he had read his letter; and he walked about his room striking his hands +together, and then thrusting his thumbs into his waistcoat-pockets. "I +knew he was made of the right stuff" and the earl rejoiced greatly in +the prowess of his favourite. "I'd have done it myself if I'd seen him. +I do believe I would." Then he went back to the breakfast-room and told +Lady Julia. + +"What do you think?" said he; "Johnny Eames has come across Crosbie, +and given him a desperate beating." + +"No!" said Lady Julia, putting down newspaper and spectacles, and +expressing by the light of her eyes anything but Christian horror at +the wickedness of the deed. + +"'But he has though. I knew he would if he saw him." + +"Beaten him! Actually beaten him!" + +"Sent him home to Lady Alexandrina with two black eyes." + +"Two black eyes! What a young pickle! But did he get hurt himself ?" + +"Not a scratch he says." + +"And what'll they do to him?" + +"Nothing. Crosbie won't be fool enough to do anything. A man becomes an +outlaw when he plays such a game as he has played. Anybody's hand may +be raised against him with know. He can't come impunity. He can't show +his face, you forward and answer questions as to what he has done. +There are offences which the law can't touch but which outrage public +feeling so strongly that any one may take upon himself the duty of +punishing them. He has been thrashed, and that will stick to him till +he dies." + +"Do tell Johnny from me that I hope he didn't get hurt," said Lady +Julia. The old lady could not absolutely congratulate him on his feat +of arms, but she did the next thing to it. + +But the earl did congratulate him with a full open assurance of his +approval. +"I hope," he said "I should have done the same at your age, under +similar circumstances, and I'm very glad that he proved less difficult +than the bull. I'm quite sure you didn't want any one to help you with +Master Crosbie. As for that other person at Allington, if I understand +such matters at all, I think she will forgive you." It may, however, be +a question whether the earl did understand such matters at all. And +then he added in a postscript: + +"When you write to me again-and don't be long first, begin your letter +'My dear Lord De Guest '-that is the proper way." + +CHAPTER XXXVII + +AN OLD MAN'S COMPLAINT + + +"Have you been thinking again of what I was saying to you, Bell?" +Bernard said to his cousin one morning. + +"Thinking of it, Bernard? Why should I think more of, it ? I had hoped +that you had forgotten it yourself." + +"No," he said; "I am not so easy-hearted as that. I cannot look on such +a thing as I would the purchase of a horse, which I could give up +without sorrow if I found that the animal was too costly for my purse. +I did not tell you that I loved you till I was sure of myself, and +having made myself sure I cannot change at all." + +"And yet you would have me change." + +"Yes, of course I would. If your heart be free now, it must of course +be changed before you come to love any man. Such change as that is to +be looked for. But when you have loved, then it will not be easy to +change you." + +"But I have not." + +"Then I have a right to hope. I have been hanging on here, Bell, longer +than I ought to have done, because, I could not bring myself to leave +you without speaking of this again. I did not wish to seem to you to be +importunate." + +"If you could only believe me in what I say." + +"It is not that I do not believe. I am not a puppy or a fool to flatter +myself that you must be in love with me. I believe you well enough. But +still it is possible that your mind may alter." + +"It is impossible." + +"I do not know whether my uncle or your mother have spoken to you about +this." + +"Such speaking would have no effect." + +In fact her mother had spoken to: her, but she truly said that such +speaking would have no effect. If her cousin could not win the battle +by his own skill, he might have been quite sure, looking at her +character as it was known to him, that he would not be able to win it +by the skill of others. + +"We have all been made very unhappy," he went on to say, by this +calamity which has fallen on poor Lily. + +"And because she has been deceived by the man she did love, I am to +make matters square by marrying a man I-" and then she paused. + +"Dear Bernard, you should not drive me to say words which will sound +harsh to you." +"No words can be harsher than those which you have already spoken. But +Bell, at any rate, you may listen to me." + +Then he told her how desirable it was with reference to all the +concerns of the Dale family that she should endeavour to look +favourably on his proposition. It would be good for them all, he said, +especially for Lily, as to whom at the present moment their uncle felt +so kindly. He, as Bernard pleaded, was so anxious at heart for this +marriage, that he would do anything that was asked of him if he were +gratified. But if he were not gratified in this he would f eel that he +had ground for displeasure. + +Bell, as she had been desired to listen. did listen very patiently. But +when her cousin had finished, her answer was very short. + +"Nothing that my uncle can say, or think, or do can make any difference +in this" said she. + +"You will think nothing, then, of the happiness of others." + +"I would not marry a man I did not love, to ensure any amount of +happiness to others-at least I know I ought not to do so. But I do not +believe I should ensure any one's happiness by this marriage. Certainly +not yours." + +After this Bernard had acknowledged to himself that the difficulties in +his way were great. + +"I will go away till next autumn he said to his uncle."If you would +give up your profession and remain here, she would not be so perverse." + +"I cannot do that, sir. I cannot risk the well-being of my life on such +a chance." Then his uncle had been angry with him as well as with his +niece. In his anger he determined that he would go again to his +sister-in-law, and, after some unreasonable fashion he resolved that it +would become him to be very angry with her also, if she declined to +assist him with all her influence as a mother. + +"Why should they not both marry?" he said to himself. Lord de Guest's +offer as to young Eames had been very generous. + +As he had then declared, he had not been able to express his own +opinion at once; but on thinking over what the earl had said, he had +found himself very willing to heal the family wound in the manner +proposed if any such healing might be possible. That however could not +be. done quite as yet. When the time should come, and he thought it +might come soon-perhaps in the spring, when the days should be fine and +the evenings again long-he would be willing to take his share with the +earl in establishing that new household. To Crosbie he had refused to +give anything, and there was upon his conscience a shade of remorse in +that he had so refused. But if Lily could be brought to love this other +man, he would be more open-handed. She should have her share as though +she was in fact his daughter. But then, if he intended to do so much +for them at the Small House should not they in return do something also +for him? So thinking, he went again to his sister-in-law determined to +explain his views, even though it might be at the risk of some hard +words between them. As regarded himself, he did not much care for hard +words spoken to him. He almost expected that people's words should be +hard and painful. He did not look for the comfort of affectionate soft +greetings, and perhaps would not have appreciated them had they come to +him. He caught Mrs Dale walking in the garden, and brought her into his +own room, feeling that he had a better chance there than in her own +house. She with an old dislike to being lectured in that room had +endeavoured to avoid the interview but had failed. + +"So I met John Eames at the manor," he had said to her in the garden. + +"Ah, yes; and how did he get on there? I cannot conceive poor Johnny +keeping holiday with the earl and his sister. How did he behave to +them, and how did they behave to him?" + +"I can assure you he was very much at home there." + +"Was he, indeed? Well, I hope it will do him good. He is, I'm sure a +very good young man; only rather awkward." + +"I didn't think him awkward at all. You'll find, Mary, that he'll do +very well-a great deal better than his father did." + +"I'm sure I hope he may." After that Mrs Dale made her attempt to +escape; but the squire had taken her prisoner, and led her captive into +the house. + +"Mary," he said, as soon as he had induced her to sit down, it is time +that this should be settled between my nephew and niece." + +"I am afraid there will be nothing to settle." + +"What do you mean-that you disapprove of it?" + +"By no means-personally. I should approve of it very strongly. But that +has nothing to do with the question." + +"Yes, it has. I beg your pardon, but it must have, and should have a +great deal to do with it. Of course, I am not saying that anybody +should now ever be compelled to marry anybody." + +"I hope not." + +"I never said that they ought, and never thought so, But I do think +that the wishes of all her family should have very great weight with a +girl that has been well brought up." + +"I don't know whether Bell has been well brought up; but in such a +matter as this nobody's wishes would weigh a leather with her; and, +indeed, I could not take upon myself even to express a wish. To you I +can say that I should have been very happy if she could have regarded +her cousin as you wish her to do." + +"You mean that you are afraid to tell her so?" + +"I am afraid to do what I think is wrong, if you mean that." + +"I don't think it would be wrong, and therefore I shall speak to her +myself." + +"You must do as you like about that, Mr Dale; I can't prevent you. I +shall think you wrong to harass her on such a matter, and I fear also +that her answer will not be satisfactory to you. If you choose to tell +her your opinion, you must do so. Of course I shall think you wrong, +that's all." + +Mrs Dale's voice as she said this was stern enough, and so was her +countenance. She could not forbid the uncle to speak his mind to his +niece, but she specially disliked the idea of any interference with her +daughter. The squire got up and walked about the room, trying to +compose himself that he might answer her rationally, but without anger. + +"May I go now?" said Mrs Dale. + +"May you go? Of course you may go if you like it. If you think that I +am intruding upon you in speaking to you of the welfare of your two +girls, whom I endeavour to regard as my own daughters-except in this, +that I know they have never been taught to love me-if you think that it +is an interference on my part to show anxiety for their welfare, of +course you may go." + +"I did not mean to say anything to hurt you, Mr Dale." + +"Hurt me! What does it signify whether I am hurt or not? I have no +children of my own, and of course my only business in life is to +provide for my nephews and nieces. I am an old fool if I expect that +they are to love me in return, and if I venture to express a wish I am +interfering and doing wrong I It is hard-very hard. I know well that +they have been brought up to dislike me, and yet I am endeavouring to +do my duty by them." + +"Mr Dale, that accusation has not been deserved. They have not been +brought up to dislike you. I believe that they have both loved and +respected you as their uncle; but such love and respect will not give +you a right to dispose of their hands." + +"Who wants to dispose of their hands?" + +"There are some things in which I think no uncle-no parent-should +interfere, and of all such things this is the chief. If after that you +may choose to tell her your wishes, of course you can do so." + +"It will not be much good after you have set her against me." + +"Mr Dale, you have no right to say such things to me, and you are very +unjust in doing so. If you think that I have set my girls against you, +it will be much better that we should leave Allington altogether. I +have been placed in circumstances which have made it difficult for me +to do my duty to my children; but I have endeavoured to do it, not +regarding my own personal wishes. I am quite sure, however, that it +would be wrong in me to keep them here, if I am to be told by you that +I have taught them to regard you unfavourably. Indeed, I cannot suffer +such a thing to be said to me." + +All this Mrs Dale said with an air of decision, and with a voice +expressing a sense of injury received, which made the squire feel that +she was very much in earnest. + +"Is it not true," he said, defending himself, "that in all that relates +to the girls you have ever regarded me with suspicion?" + +"No, it is not true." And then she corrected herself, feeling that +there was something of truth in the squire's last assertion. + +"Certainly not with suspicion," she said. + +"But as this matter has gone so far, I will explain what my real +feelings have, been. In worldly matters you can do much for my girls, +and have done much." + +"And wish to do more," said the squire. + +"I am sure you do. But I cannot on that account give up my place as +their only living parent. They are my children, and not yours. And even +could I bring myself to allow you to act as their guardian and natural +protector, they would not consent to such an arrangement. You cannot +call that suspicion." + +"I can call it jealousy." + +"And should not a mother be jealous of her children's love?" + +During all this time the squire was walking up and down the room with +his hands in his trousers pockets. And when Mrs Dale had last spoken, +he continued his walk for some time in silence. + +"Perhaps it is well that you should have spoken out," he said. + +"The manner in which you accused me made it necessary." + +"I did not intend to accuse you, and I do not do so now; but I think +that you have been, and that you are, very hard on me-very hard indeed. +I have endeavoured to make your children, and yourself also, sharers +with me in such prosperity as has been mine. I have striven to add to +your comfort and to their happiness. I am most anxious to secure their +future welfare. You would have been very wrong had you declined to +accept this on their behalf; but I think that in return for it you need +not have begrudged me the affection and obedience which generally +follows from such good offices." + +"Mr Dale, I have begrudged you nothing of this." + +"I am hurt-I am hurt," he continued. And she was surprised by his look +of pain even more than by the unaccustomed warmth of his words. + +"What you have said has, I have known, been the case all along. But +though I had felt it to be so, I own that I am hurt by your open words." + +"Because I have said that my own children must ever be my own?" + +"Ah, you have said more than that. You and the girls have been living +here, close to me, for-how many years is it now?-and during all those +years there has grown up for me no kindly feeling. Do you think that I +cannot hear, and see, and feel? Do you suppose that I am a fool and do +not know? As for yourself you would never enter this house if you did +not feel yourself constrained to do so for the sake of appearances. I +suppose it is all as it should be. Having no children of my own, I owe +the duty of a parent to my nieces; but I have no right to expect from +them in return either love, regard, or obedience. I know I am keeping +you here against your will, Mary. I won't do so any longer." And he +made a sign to her that she was to depart. + +As she rose from her seat her heart was softened towards him. In these +latter days he had shown much kindness to the girls-a kindness that was +more akin to the gentleness of love than had ever come from him before. +Lily's fate had seemed to melt even his sternness, and he had striven +to be tender in his words and ways. And now he spoke as though he had +loved the girls, and had loved them in vain. Doubtless he had been a +disagreeable neighbour to his sister-in-law, making her feel that it +was never for her personally that he had opened his hand. Doubtless he +had been moved by an unconscious desire to undermine and take upon +himself her authority with her own children. Doubtless he had looked +askance at her from the first day of her marriage with his brother. She +had been keenly alive to all this since she had first known him, and +more keenly alive to it than ever since the failure of those efforts +she had made to live with him on terms of affection, made during the +first year or two of her residence at the Small House. But, +nevertheless, in spite of all, her heart bled for him now. She had +gained her victory over him, having fully held her own position with +her children; but now, that he complained that he had been beaten in +the struggle, her heart bled for him. + +"My brother," she said, and as she spoke she offered him her hands, "it +may be that we have not thought as kindly of each other as we should +have done." + +"I have endeavoured," said the old man. "I have endeavoured-". And then +he stopped, either hindered by some excess of emotion, or unable to +find the words which were. necessary for the expression of his meaning. + +"Let us endeavour once again-both of us." + +"What, begin again at near seventy! No, Mary, there is no more +beginning again for me. All this shall make no difference to the girls. +As long as I am here they shall have the house. If they marry, I will +do for them what I can. I believe Bernard is much in earnest in his +suit, and if Bell will listen to him, she shall still be welcomed here +as mistress of Allington. What you have said shall make no +difference-but as to beginning again, it is simply impossible." + +After that Mrs Dale walked home through the garden by herself. He had +studiously told her that that house in which they lived should be lent, +not to her, but to her children, during his lifetime. He had positively +declined the offer of her warmer regard. He had made her understand +that they were to look on each other almost as enemies; but that she, +enemy as she was, should still be allowed the use of his. munificence, +because he chose to do his duty by his nieces! + +"It will be better for us that we shall leave it," she said to herself +as she seated herself in her own arm-chair over the drawing-room fire. + +CHAPTER XXXVIII + +DOCTOR CROFTS IS CALLED IN + + +Mrs Dale had not sat. long in her drawing-room. before tidings were +brought to her which. for a while drew her mind away from that question +of her removal. + +"Mamma, said Bell, entering the room, "I really do believe that Jane +has got scarlatina." Jane, the parlour-maid, had. been ailing for the +last two days, but nothing serious had hitherto been suspected. + +Mrs Dale instantly jumped up. "Who is with her?" she asked. + +It appeared from Bell's answer that both she and Lily had been with the +girl, and that Lily was still in the room. Whereupon Mrs Dale ran +upstairs, and there was on the sudden a commotion in the house. In an +hour or so the village doctor was there, and he expressed an opinion +that the girl's ailment was certainly scarlatina. Mrs Dale, not +satisfied with this, sent off a boy to Guestwick for Dr Crofts, having +herself maintained an opposition of many years' standing, against the +medical reputation of the apothecary, and gave a positive order to the +two girls not to visit poor Jane again. She herself had had scarlatina, +and might do as she pleased. Then, too, a nurse was hired. + +All this changed for a. few hours the current of Mrs Dale's thoughts: +but in the evening she went back to the subject of her morning +conversation, and before the. three ladies went to bed, they held +together an open council of war upon the subject. Dr Crofts had been +found to be away from Guestwick, and word had been sent on his behalf +that he would be over at Allington early on the following morning. Mrs +Dale had almost made up her mind that the malady of her favourite maid +was not scarlatina, but had not on that account relaxed her order as to +the absence of her daughters from, the maid's bedside. + +"Let us go at once," said Bell, who was even more opposed to any +domination on the part of her uncle than was her mother. In the +discussion which had been taking place between them the whole matter of +Bernard's courtship had come upon the carpet. Bell had kept her +cousin's offer to herself as long as she had been able to do so; but +since her uncle had pressed the subject upon Mrs Dale, it was +impossible for Bell to remain silent any longer. + +"You do not want me to marry him, mamma; do you?" she had said, when +her mother had spoken with some show of kindness towards Bernard. In +answer to this, Mrs Dale had protested vehemently that she had no such +wish, and Lily, who still held to her belief in Dr Crofts, was almost +equally animated. To them all, the idea. that their uncle should in any +way interfere in their own views of life, on the strength of the +pecuniary assistance which they had received from him, was peculiarly +distasteful. But it was especially distasteful that he should presume +to have even an opinion as to their disposition in marriage. They +declared to each other that their uncle could have no right to object +to any marriage which either of them might contemplate as long as their +mother should approve of it. The poor old squire had been right in +saying that he was regarded with suspicion. He was so regarded. The +fault had certainly been his own, in having endeavoured to win the +daughters without thinking it worth his while to win the mother. The +girls had unconsciously felt that the attempt was made, and had +vigorously rebelled against it. It had not been their fault that they +had been brought to live in their uncle's house, and made to ride on +his ponies, and to eat partially of his bread. They had so eaten, and +so lived, and declared themselves to be grateful. The squire was good +in his way, and they recognised his goodness; but not on that account +would they transfer to him one jot of the allegiance which as children +they owed to their mother. When she told them her tale, explaining to +them the words which their uncle had spoken that morning, they +expressed their regret that he should be so grieved; but they were +strong in assurances to their mother that she had been sinned against, +and was not sinning. + +"Let us go at once," said Bell. + +"It is much easier said than done, my dear." + +"Of course it is, mamma; else we shouldn't be here now. What I mean is +this-let us take some necessary first step at once. It is clear that my +uncle thinks that our remaining here should give him some right over +us. I do not say that he is wrong to think so. Perhaps it is natural. +Perhaps, in accepting his kindness, we ought to submit ourselves to +him. If that be so, it is a conclusive reason for our going." + +"Could we not pay him rent for the house," said Lily, "as Mrs Hearn +does? You would like to remain here, mamma, if you could do that?" + +"But we could not do that, Lily. We must choose for ourselves a smaller +house than this, and one that is not burdened with the expense of a +garden. Even if we paid but a moderate rent for this place, we should +not have the, means of living here." + +"Not if we lived on toast and tea?" said Lily, laughing. + +"But I should hardly wish you to live upon toast and tea and indeed I +fancy that I should get tired of such a diet myself." + +"Never, mamma," said Lily. "As for me, I confess to a longing after +mutton chops; but I don't think you would ever want such vulgar things." + +"At any rate, it would be impossible to remain here," said Bell. + +"Uncle Christopher would not take rent from mamma; and even if he did, +we should not know how to go on with our other arrangements after such +a change. No; we must give up the dear old Small House." + +"It is a dear old house," said Lily, thinking, as she spoke, more of +those late scenes in the garden, when Crosbie had been with them in the +autumn months, than of any of the former joys of her childhood. + +"After all, I do not know that I should be right to move," said Mrs +Dale, doubtingly. + +"Yes, yes," said both the girls at once. + +"Of course you will be right, mamma; there cannot be a doubt about it, +mamma. If we can get any cottage, or even lodgings, that would be +better than remaining here, now that we know what Uncle Christopher +thinks of it." + +"It will make him very unhappy," said Mrs Dale. + +But even this argument did not in the least move the girls. They were +very sorry that their uncle should be unhappy. They would endeavour to +show him by some increased show of affection that their feelings +towards him were not unkind. Should he speak to them they would +endeavour to explain to him that their thoughts towards him were +altogether affectionate. But they could not remain at Allington +increasing their load of gratitude, seeing that he expected a certain +payment which they did not feel themselves able to render. + +"We should be robbing him, if we stayed here," Bell declared-"wilfully +robbing him of what he believes to be his just share of the bargain." + +So it was settled among them that notice should be given to their uncle +of their intention to quit the Small House of Allington. + +And then came the question as to their new home. Mrs Dale was aware +that her income was at any rate better than that possessed by Mrs +Eames, and therefore she had fair ground for presuming that she could +afford to keep a house at Guestwick. + +"If we do go away, that is what we must do," she said. + +"And we shall have to walk out with Mary Eames, instead of Susan +Boyce," said Lily. + +"It won't make so much difference after all." + +"In that respect we shall gain as much as we lose," said Bell. + +"And then it will be so nice to have the shops," said Lily, ironically. + +"Only we shall never have any money to buy anything," said Bell. + +"But we shall see more of the world," said Lily. + +"Lady Julia's carriage comes into town twice a week, and the Miss +Gruffens drive about in great style. Upon the whole, we shall gain a +great deal; only for the poor old garden. Mamma, I do think I shall +break my heart at parting with Hopkins; and as to him, I shall be +disappointed in mankind if he ever holds his head up again after I am +gone." + +But in truth there was very much of sadness in their resolution, and to +Mrs Dale it seemed as though she were managing matters badly for her +daughters and allowing poverty and misfortune to come upon them through +her own fault. She well knew how great a load of, sorrow was lying on +Lily's heart, hidden beneath those little attempts at pleasantry which +she made. When she spoke of being disappointed in mankind, Mrs Dale +could hardly repress an outward shudder that would betray her thoughts. +And now she was consenting to take them forth from. their comfortable +home, from the luxury of their lawns and gardens, and to bring them to +some small dingy corner of a provincial town-because she had failed to +make herself happy with her brother-in-law. Could she be right to give +up all the advantages which they enjoyed at Allington-advantages which +had come to them from so legitimate a source-because her own feelings +had been wounded? In all their future want of comfort, in the +comfortless dowdiness of the new home to which she would remove them, +would she not always blame herself for having brought them to that by +her own false pride? And yet it seemed to her that she now had no +alternative. She could not now teach her daughters to obey their +uncle's wishes in all things. She could not make Bell understand that +it would be well that she should marry Bernard because the squire had +set his heart on such a 'marriage. She had gone so far that she could +not now go back. + +"I suppose we must move at Lady-day?" said Bell, who was in favour of +instant action. + +"If so, had you not better let Uncle Christopher know at once?" + +"I don't think that we can find a house by that time." + +"We can get in somewhere," continued Bell. + +"There are plenty of lodgings in Guestwick, you know." But the sound of +the word lodgings was uncomfortable in Mrs Dale's ears. + +"If we are to go, let us go at once," said Lily. + +"We need not stand much upon the order of our going." + +"Your uncle will be very much shocked," said Mrs Dale. + +"He cannot say that it is your fault," said Bell. + +It was thus agreed between them that the necessary information should +be at once given to the squire, and that the old, well-loved house +should be left for ever. It would be a great fall in a worldly point of +view-from the Allington Small House to an abode in some little street +of Guestwick. At Allington they had been county people-raised to a +level with their own squire and other squires by the circumstance of +their residence; but at Guestwick they would be small even among the +people of the town. They would be on an equality with the Eames'es, and +much looked down upon by the Gruffens. They would hardly dare to call +any more at Guestwick Manor, seeing that they certainly could not +expect Lady Julia to call upon them at Guestwick. Mrs Boyce no doubt +would patronise them, and they could already anticipate the condolence +which would be offered to them by Mrs Hearn. Indeed such a movement on +their part would be tantamount to a confession of failure in the full +hearing of so much of the world as was known to them. + +I must not allow my readers to suppose that these considerations were a +matter of indifference to any of the ladies at the Small House. To some +women of strong mind, of highly-strung philosophic tendencies, such +considerations might have been indifferent. But Mrs Dale was not of +this nature, nor were her daughters. The good things of the world were +good in their eyes, and they valued the privilege of a pleasant social +footing among their friends. They were by no means capable of a wise +contempt of the advantages which chance had hitherto given to them. +They could not go forth rejoicing in the comparative property of their +altered condition. But then, neither could they purchase those luxuries +which they were about to abandon at the price which was asked for them. + +"Had you not better write to my uncle?" said one of the girls. But to +this Mrs Dale objected that she could not make a letter on such a +subject clearly intelligible, and that therefore she would see the +squire on the following morning. +"It will be very dreadful," she said, "but it will soon be over. It is +not what he will say at the moment that I fear so much, as the bitter +reproaches of his face when I shall meet him afterwards." So, on the +following morning, she again made her way, and now without invitation, +to the squire's study. + +"Mr Dale," she began, starting upon her work with some confusion in her +manner, and hurry in her speech, "I have been thinking over what we +were saying together yesterday, and I have come to a resolution which I +know I ought to make known to you without a moment's delay." + +The squire also had thought of what had passed between them, and had +suffered much as he had done so; but he had thought of it without +acerbity or anger. His thoughts were ever gentler than his words, and +his heart softer than any exponent of his heart that he was able to put +forth. He wished to love his brother's children, and to be loved by +them; but even failing that, he wished to do good to them. It had not +occurred to him to be angry with Mrs Dale after that interview was +over. The conversation had not gone pleasantly with him; but then he +hardly expected that things would go pleasantly. No idea had occurred +to him that evil could come upon any of the Dale ladies from the words +which had then been spoken. He regarded the Small House as their abode +and home as surely as the Great House was his own. In giving him his +due, it must be declared that any allusion to their holding these as a +benefit done to them by him had been very far from his thoughts. Mrs +Hearn, who held her cottage at half its real value, grumbled almost +daily at him as her landlord; but it never occurred to him that +therefore he should raise her rent, or that in not doing so he was +acting with special munificence. It had ever been to him a grumbling, +cross-grained, unpleasant world; and he did not expect from Mrs Hearn, +or from his sister-in-law, anything better than that to which he had +ever been used. + +"It will make me very happy," said he, "if it has any bearing on Bell's +marriage with her cousin." + +"Mr Dale, that is out of the question. I would not vex you by saying so +if I were not certain of it; but I know my child so well!" + +"Then we must leave it to time, Mary." + +"Yes, of course; but no time will suffice to make Bell change her mind. +We will, however, leave the subject. And now, Mr Dale, I have to tell +you of something else-we have resolved to leave the Small House." + +"Resolved on what?" said the squire, turning his eyes full upon her. + +"We have resolved to leave the Small House." + +"Leave the Small House!" he said, repeating her words; "and where on +earth do you mean to go?" + +"We think we shall go into Guestwick." + +"And why?" + +"Ah, that is so hard to explain. If you would only accept the fact as I +tell it to you, and not ask for the reasons which have guided me!" + +"But that is out of the question, Mary. In such a matter as that I must +ask your reasons; and I must tell you also that, in my opinion, you +will not be doing your duty to your daughters in carrying out such an +intention, unless your reasons are very strong indeed." + +"But they are very strong," said Mrs Dale; and then she paused. + +"I cannot understand it," said the squire. + +"I cannot bring myself to believe that you are really in earnest. Are +you not comfortable there?" + +"More comfortable than we have any right to be with our means." + +"But I thought you always did very nicely with your money. You never +get into debt." + +"No; I never get into debt. It is not that, exactly. The fact is, Mr +Dale, we have no right to live there without paying rent; but we could +not afford to live there if we did pay rent." + +"Who has talked about rent?" he said, jumping up from his chair. + +"Some one has been speaking falsehoods of me behind my back." No gleam +of the real truth had yet come to him. No idea had reached his mind +that his relatives thought it necessary to leave his house in +consequence of any word that he himself had spoken. He had never +considered himself to have been in any special way generous to them, +and would not have thought it reasonable that they should abandon the +house in which they had been living, even if his anger against them had +been strong and hot. + +"Mary," he said, "I must insist upon getting to the bottom of this. As +for your leaving the house, it is out of the question. Where can you be +better off, or so well? As to going into Guestwick, what sort of life +would there be for the girls? I put all that aside as out of the +question; but I must know what has induced you to make such a +proposition. Tell me honestly-has any one spoken evil of me behind my +back?" + +Mrs Dale had been prepared for opposition and for reproach; but there +was a decision about the squire's words, and an air of masterdom in his +manner, which made her recognise more fully than she had yet done the +difficulty of her position. She almost began to fear that she would +lack power to carry out her purpose. + +"Indeed, it is not so, Mr Dale." + +"Then what is it?" + +"I know that if I attempt to tell you, you will be vexed, and will +contradict me." + +"Vexed I shall be, probably." + +"And yet I cannot help it. Indeed, I am endeavouring to do what is +right by you and by the children." + +"Never mind me; your duty is to think of them." + +"Of course it is; and in doing this they most cordially agree with me." + +In using such argument as that, Mrs Dale showed her weakness, and the +squire was not slow to take advantage of it. + +"Your duty is to them," he said; "but I do not mean by that that your +duty is to let them act in any way that may best please them for the +moment. I can understand that they should be run away with by some +romantic nonsense, but I cannot understand it of you." + +"The truth is this, Mr Dale. You think that my children owe to you that +sort of obedience which is due to a parent, and as long as they remain +here, accepting from your hands so large a part of their daily support, +it is perhaps natural that you should think so. In this unhappy affair +about Bell-" + +"I have never said anything of the kind," said the squire, interrupting +her. + +"No; you have not said so. And I do not wish you to think that I make +any complaint. But I feel that it is so, and they feel it. And, +therefore, we have made up our minds to go away." + +Mrs Dale, as she finished, was aware that she had not told her story +well, but she had acknowledged to herself that it was quite out of her +power to tell it as it should be told. Her main object was to make her +brother-in-law understand that she certainly would leave his house, +and. to make him understand this with as little pain to himself as +possible. . She did not in the least mind his thinking her foolish, if +only she could so carry her point as to be able to tell her daughters +on her return that the matter was settled. But the squire, from his +words and manners; seemed indisposed to give her this privilege. + +"Of all the propositions which I ever heard," said he "it is the most +unreasonable. It amounts to this, that you are too proud to live +rent-free in a house which belongs to your husband's brother, and +therefore you intend to subject yourself and your children to the great +discomfort of a very straitened 'income. If you yourself only were +concerned I should have no right to say anything; but I think myself +bound to tell you that, as regards the girls, everybody that knows you +will think you to have been very wrong. It is in the natural course of +things that they should live in that house. The place has never been +let. As far as I know, no rent has ever been paid for the house since +it was built. It has always been given to some member of the family, +who has been considered as having the best right to it. I have +considered your footing there as firm as my own here. A quarrel between +me and your children would be to me a great calamity, though, perhaps, +they might be indifferent to it. But if there were such a quarrel it +would afford no reason for their leaving that house. Let me beg you to +think over the matter again." + +The squire could assume an air of authority on certain occasions, and +he had done so now. Mrs Dale found that she could only answer him by a +simple repetition of her own intention; and, indeed, failed in making +him any serviceable answer whatsoever. + +"I know that you are very good to my girls," she said. + +"I will say nothing about that," he answered; not thinking at that +moment of the Small House, but of the full possession which he had +desired to give to the elder of all the privileges which should belong +to the mistress of Allington-thinking also of the means by which he was +hoping to repair poor Lily's shattered fortunes. What words were +further said had no great significance, and Mrs Dale got herself away, +feeling that she had failed. As soon as she was gone the squire arose, +and putting on his great-coat, went forth with his hat and stick to the +front of the house. He went out in order that his thoughts might be +more free, and that he might indulge in that solace which an injured +man finds in contemplating his injury. He declared to himself that he +was very hardly used-so hardly used, that he almost began to doubt +himself, and his own motives. Why was it that the people around him +disliked him so strongly-avoided him and thwarted him in the efforts +which he made for their welfare? He offered to his nephew all the +privileges of a son-much more indeed 'than the privileges of a +son-merely asking in return that he would consent to live permanently +in the house which was to be his own. But his nephew refused. + +"He cannot bear to live with me," said the old man to himself sorely. +He was prepared to treat his nieces with more generosity than the +daughters of the House of Allington had usually received from their +fathers; and they repelled his kindness, running away from him, and +telling him openly that they would not be beholden to him. He walked +slowly up and down the terrace, thinking of this very bitterly. He did +not find in the contemplation of his grievance all that solace which a +grievance usually gives, because he accused himself in his thoughts +rather than others. He declared to himself that he was made to be +hated, and protested to himself that it would be well that he should +die and be buried out of memory, so that the remaining Dales might have +a better chance of living happily; and then as he thus discussed all +this within his own bosom, his thoughts were very tender, and though he +was aggrieved, he was most affectionate to those who had most injured +him. But it was absolutely beyond his power to reproduce outwardly, +with words and outward signs, such thoughts and feelings. + +It was now very nearly the end of the year, but the weather was still +soft and open. The air was damp rather than cold, and the lawns and +fields still retained the green tints of new vegetation. As the squire +was walking on the terrace Hopkins came up to him, and touching his +hat, remarked that they should have frost in a day or two. + +"I suppose we shall," said the squire. + +"We must have the mason to the flues of that little grape-house, sir, +before I can do any good with a fire there." + +"Which grape-house?" said the squire, crossly. + +"Why, the grape-house in the other garden, sir. It ought to have been +done last year by rights." This Hopkins said to punish his master for +being cross to him. On that matter of the flues of Mrs Dale's +grape-house he had, with much consideration, spared his master during +the last winter, and he felt that this ought to be remembered now. + +"I can't put any fire in it, not to do any real good, till something's +done. That's sure." + +"Then don't put any fire in it," said the squire. + +Now the grapes in question were supposed to be peculiarly fine, and +were the glory of the garden of the Small House. They were always +forced, though not forced so early as those at the Great House, and +Hopkins was in a state of great confusion. + +"They'll never ripen; sir; not the whole year through." +"Then let them be unripe," said the squire, walking about. + +Hopkins did not at all understand it. The squire in his natural course +was very unwilling to neglect any such matter as this, but would be +specially unwilling to neglect anything touching the Small House. So +Hopkins stood on the terrace, raising his hat and scratching his head. + +"There's something wrong amongst them," said he to himself, sorrowfully. + +But when the squire had walked to the end of the terrace and had turned +upon the path which led round the side of the house, he stopped and +called to Hopkins. + +"Have what is needful done to the flue," he said. + +"Yes, sir; very well, sir. It'll only be re-setting the bricks. Nothing +more ain't needful, just this winter." + +"Have the place put in perfect order while you're about it." said the +squire, and then he walked away. + +CHAPTER XXXIX + +DOCTOR CROFTS IS TURNED OUT + + +"Have you heard the news, my dear, from the Small House?" said Mrs +Boyce to her husband, some two or three days after Mrs Dale's visit to +the squire. It was one o'clock, and the parish pastor had come in from +his ministrations to dine with his wife and children. + +"What news?" said Mr Boyce, for he had heard none. + +"Mrs Dale and the girls are going to leave the Small House; they're +going into Guestwick to live." + +"Mrs Dale going away; nonsense!" said the vicar. "What on earth should +take her into Guestwick? She doesn't pay a shilling of rent where she +is." + +"I can assure you it's true, my dear. I was with Mrs Hearn just now, +and she had it direct from Mrs Dale's own lips. Mrs Hearn said she'd +never been taken so much aback in her whole life. There's been some +quarrel, you may be sure of that." + +Mr Boyce sat silent, pulling off his dirty shoes preparatory to his +dinner. Tidings so important, as touching the social life of his +parish, had not come to him for many a day, and he could hardly bring +himself to credit them at so short a notice. + +"Mrs Hearn says that Mrs Dale spoke ever so firmly about it, as though +determined that nothing should change her." + +"And did she say why?" + +"Well, not exactly. But Mrs Hearn said she could understand there had +been words between her and the squire. It couldn't be anything else, +you know. Probably it had something to do with that man, Crosbie." + +"They'll be very pushed about money," said Mr Boyce, thrusting his feet +into his slippers. + +"That's just what I said to Mrs, Hearn. And those girls have never been +used to anything like real economy. What's to become of them I don't +know;" and Mrs Boyce, as she expressed her sympathy for her dear +friends, received considerable comfort from the prospect of their +future poverty. It always is so, and Mrs Boyce was not worse than her +neighbours. + +"You'll find they'll make it up before the time comes," said Mr Boyce, +to whom the excitement of such a change in affairs was almost too good +to be true. + +"I am afraid not," said Mrs Boyce; "I'm afraid not. They are both so +determined. I always thought that riding and giving the girls hats and +habits was injurious. It was treating them as though they were the +squire's daughters, and they were not the squire's daughters." + +"It was almost the same thing." + +"But now we see the difference," said the judicious Mrs Boyce. + +"I often said that dear Mrs Dale was wrong, and it turns out that I was +right. It will make no difference to me, as regards calling on them and +that sort of thing." + +"Of course it won't." + +"Not but what there must be a difference, and a very great difference +too. It will be a terrible come down for poor Lily, with the loss of +her fine husband and all." + +After dinner, when Mr Boyce had again gone forth upon his labours, the +same subject was discussed between Mrs Boyce and her daughters, and the +mother was very careful to teach her children that Mrs Dale would be +just as good a person as ever she had been, and quite as much a lady, +even though she should live in a very dingy house at Guestwick; from +which lesson the Boyce girls learned plainly that Mrs Dale, with Bell +and Lily, were about to have a fall in the world, and that they were to +be treated accordingly. + +>From all this, it will be discovered that Mrs Dale had not given way +to the squire's arguments, although she had found herself unable to +answer them. As she had returned home she had felt herself to be almost +vanquished, and had spoken to the girls with the air and tone of a +woman who hardly knew in which course lay the line of her duty. But +they had not seen the squire's manner on the occasion, nor heard his +words, and they could not understand that their own purpose should be +abandoned because he did not like it. So they talked their mother into +fresh resolves, and on the following morning she wrote a note to her +brother-in-law, assuring him that she had thought much of all that he +had said, but again declaring that she regarded herself as bound in +duty to leave the Small House. To this he had returned no answer, and +she had communicated her intention to Mrs Hearn, thinking it better +that there should be no secret in the matter. + +"I am sorry to hear that your sister-in-law is going to leave us," Mr +Boyce said to the squire that same afternoon. + +"Who told you that?" asked the squire, showing by his tone that he by +no means liked the topic of conversation which the parson had chosen. + +"Well, I had it from Mrs Boyce, and I think Mrs Hearn told her." + +"I wish Mrs Hearn would mind her own business, and not spread idle +reports." + +The squire said nothing more, and Mr Boyce felt that he had been very +unjustly snubbed. + +Dr Crofts had come over and pronounced as a fact that it was +scarlatina. Village apothecaries are generally wronged by the doubts +which are thrown upon them, for the town doctors when they come always +confirm what the village apothecaries have said. + +"There can be no doubt as to its being scarlatina," the doctor +declared; "but the symptoms are all favourable." + +There was, however, much worse coming than this. Two days afterwards +Lily found herself to be rather unwell. She endeavoured to keep it to +herself, fearing that she should be brought under the doctor's notice +as a patient; but her efforts were unavailing, and on the following +morning it was known that she had also taken the disease. Dr Crofts +declared that everything was in her favour. The weather was cold. The +presence of the malady in the house had caused them all to be careful, +and, moreover, good advice was at hand at once. The doctor begged Mrs +Dale not to be uneasy, but he was very eager in begging that the two +sisters might not be alIowed to be together. + +"Could you not send Bell, into Guestwick-to Mrs Eames's?" said he. But +Bell did not choose to be sent to Mrs Eames's, and was with great +difficulty kept out. of her mother's bedroom, to which Lily as an +invalid was transferred. + +"If you will allow me to say so," he said to Bell, on the second day +after Lily's complaint had declared itself, "you are wrong to stay here +in the house." + +"I certainly shall not leave mamma, when she has got so much upon her +hands," said Bell. + +"But if you should be taken ill she would have more on her hands," +pleaded the doctor. + +"I could not do it," Bell replied. + +"If I were taken over to Guestwick, I should be so uneasy that I should +walk back to Allington the first moment that I could escape from the +house." + +"I think your mother would be more comfortable without you." + +"And I think she would be more comfortable with me. I don't ever like +to hear of a woman running away from illness; but when a sister or a +daughter does so, it is intolerable." So Bell remained, without +permission indeed to see her sister, but performing various outside +administrations which were much needed. + +And thus all manner of trouble came upon the inhabitants of the Small +House, falling upon them as it were in a heap together. It was as yet +barely two months since those terrible tidings had come respecting +Crosbie; tidings which, it was felt at the time, would of themselves be +sufficient to crush them; and now to that misfortune other misfortunes +had been added-one quick upon the heels of another. In the teeth of the +doctor's kind prophecy Lily became very ill, and after a few days was +delirious. She would talk to her mother about Crosbie, speaking of him +as she used to speak in the autumn that was passed. But even in her +madness she remembered that they had resolved to leave their present +home; and she asked the doctor twice whether their lodgings at +Guestwick were ready for them. + +It was thus that Crofts first heard of their intention. Now, in these +days of Lily's worst illness, he came daily over to Allington, +remaining there, on one occasion, the whole night. For all this he +would take no fee-nor had he ever taken a fee from Mrs Dale. + +"I wish you would not come so often," Bell said to him one evening, as +he stood with her at the drawingroom fire, after he had left the +patient's room; "you are overloading us with obligations." On that day +Lily was over the worst of the fever, and he had been able to tell Mrs +Dale that he did not think that she was now in danger. + +"It will not be necessary much longer," he said; "the worst of it is +over." +"It is such a luxury to hear you say so. I suppose we shall owe her +life to you; but nevertheless-" + +"Oh, no; scarlatina is not such a terrible thing now as it used to be." + +"Then why should you have devoted your time to her as you have done? It +frightens me when I think of the injury we must have done you." + +"My horse has felt it more than I have," said the doctor, laughing. + +"My patients at Guestwick are not so very numerous." Then, instead of +going, he sat himself down. + +"And it is really true," he said, "that you are all going to leave this +house?" + +"Quite true. We shall do so at the end of March, if Lily is well enough +to be moved." + +"Lily will be well long before that, I hope; not, indeed, that she +ought to be moved out of her own rooms for many weeks to come yet." + +"Unless we are stopped by her we shall certainly go at the end of +March." Bell now had also sat down, and they both remained for some +time looking at the fire in silence. + +"And why is it, Bell?" he said, at last. + +"But I don't know whether I have a right to ask." + +"You have a right to ask any question about us," she said + +"My uncle is very kind. He is more than kind; he is generous. But he +seems to think that our living here gives him a right to interfere with +mamma. We don't like that, and, therefore, we are going." + +The doctor still sat on one side of the fire, and Bell still sat +opposite to him; but the conversation did not form itself very freely +between them. + +"It is bad news," he said, at last. + +"At any rate, when we are ill you will not have so far to come and see +us." + +"Yes, I understand. That means that I am ungracious not to congratulate +myself on having you all so much nearer to me; but I do not in the +least. I cannot bear to think of you as living anywhere but here at +Allington. Dales will be out of their place in a street at Guestwick." + +"That's hard upon the Dales, too." + +"It is hard upon them. It's a sort of offshoot from that very +tyrannical law of noblesse oblige. I don't think you ought to go away +from Allington, unless the circumstances are very imperative." + +"But they are very imperative." +"In that case, indeed!" And then again he fell into silence. + +"Have you never seen that mamma is not happy here?" she said, after +another pause. + +"For myself, I never quite understood it all before as I do now; but +now I see it." + +"And I have seen it-have seen at least what you mean. She has led a +life of restraint; but then, how frequently is such restraint the +necessity of a life? I hardly think that your mother would move on that +account." + +"No. It is on our account. But this restraint, as you call it, makes us +unhappy, and she is governed by seeing that. My uncle is generous to +her as regards money; but in other things-in matters of feeling-I think +he has been ungenerous." + +"Bell," said the doctor; and then he paused. + +She looked up at him, but made no answer. He had always called her by +her Christian name, and they two had ever regarded each other as close +friends. At the present moment she had forgotten all else besides this, +and yet she had infinite pleasure in sitting there and talking to him. + +"I am going to ask you a question which perhaps I ought not to ask, +only that I have known you so long that I almost feel that I am +speaking to a sister." + +"You may ask me what you please," said she. + +"It is about your cousin Bernard." + +"About Bernard!" said Bell. + +It was now dusk; and as they were sitting without other light than that +of the fire, she knew that he could not discern the colour which +covered her face as her cousin's name was mentioned. But, had the light +of day pervaded the whole room, I doubt whether Crofts would have seen +that blush, for he kept his eyes firmly fixed upon the fire. + +"Yes, about Bernard? I don't know whether I ought to ask you." + +"I'm sure I can't say," said Bell; speaking word of the nature of which +she was not conscious. + +"There has been a rumour in Guestwick that he and you-" + +"It is untrue," said Bell; "quite untrue. If you hear it repeated, you +should contradict it. I wonder why people should say such things." + +"It would have been an excellent marriage-all your friends must have +approved it." + +"What do you mean, Dr Crofts? How I do hate those words, 'an excellent +marriage'. In them is contained more of wicked worldliness than any +other words that one ever hears spoken. You want me to marry my cousin +simply because I should have a great house to live in, and a coach. I +know that you are my friend, but I hate such friendship as that." + +"I think you misunderstand me, Bell. I mean that it would have been an +excellent marriage, provided you had both loved each other." + +"No, I don't misunderstand you. Of course it would be an excellent +marriage, if we loved each other. You might say the same if I loved the +butcher or the baker. What you mean is, that it makes a reason for +loving him." + +"I don't think I did mean that." + +"Then you mean nothing." + +After that, there were again some minutes of silence during which Dr +Crofts got up to go away. + +"You have scolded me very dreadfully," he said, with a slight smile, +"and I believe I have deserved it for interfering." + +"No; not at all for interfering." + +"But at any rate you must forgive me before I go." + +"I won't forgive you at all, unless you repent of your sins, and alter +altogether the wickedness of your mind. You will become very soon as +bad as Dr Gruffen." + +"Shall I?" + +"Oh, but I will forgive you; for after all, you are the most generous +man in the world." + +"Oh, yes; of course I am. Well-good-bye." + +"But, Dr Crofts, you should not suppose others to be so much more +worldly than yourself. You do not care for money so very much-" + +"But I do care very much." + +"If you did, you would not come here for nothing day after day." + +"I do care for money very much. I have sometimes nearly broken my heart +because I could not get opportunities of earning it. It is the best +friend that a man can have-" + +"Oh, Dr Crofts!" + +"-the best friend that a man can have; if it be honestly come by. A +woman can hardly realise the sorrow which may fall upon a man from the +want of such a friend." + +"Of course a man likes to earn a decent living by his profession; and +you can do that." + +"That depends upon one's ideas of decency." + +"Ah! mine never ran very high. I've always had a sort of aptitude for +living in a pigsty ;-a clean pigsty, you know, with nice fresh bean +straw to lie upon. I think it was a mistake when they made a lady of +me. I do, indeed." + +"I do not," said Dr Crofts. + +"That because you don't quite know me yet. I've not the slightest +pleasure in putting on three different dresses a day. I do it very +often because it comes to me to do it, from the way in which we have +been taught to live. But when we get to Guestwick I mean to change all +that; and if you come in to tea, you'll see me in the same brown frock +that I wear in the morning-unless, indeed, the morning work makes the +brown frock dirty. Oh, Dr Crofts! you'll have it pitch-dark riding home +under the Guestwick elms." + +"I don't mind the dark," he said; and it seemed as though he hardly +intended to go even yet. + +"But I do," said Bell, + +"and I shall ring for candles." But he stopped her as she put her hand +out to the bell-pull. + +"Stop a moment, Bell. You need hardly have the candles before I go, and +you need not begrudge my staying either, seeing that I shall be all +alone at home." + +"Begrudge your staying!" + +"But, however, you shall begrudge it, or else make me very welcome." He +still held her by the wrist, which he had caught as he prevented her +from summoning the servant. + +"What do you mean?" said she.. + +"You know you are welcome to us as flowers in May. You always were +welcome; but now, when you have come to us in our trouble. At any rate, +you shall never say that I turn you out." + +"Shall I never say so?" And still he held her by the wrist. Tie had +kept his chair throughout, but she was standing before him-between him +and the fire. But she, though he held her in this way, thought little +of his words, or of his action. They had known each other with great +intimacy, and though Lily would still laugh at her, saying that Dr +Crofts was her lover, she had long since taught herself that no such +feeling as that would ever exist between them. + +"Shall I never say so, Bell? What if so poor a man as I ask for the +hand that you will not give to so rich a man as your cousin Bernard?" + +She instantly withdrew her arm and moved back very quickly a step or +two across the rug. She did it almost with the motion which she might +have used had he insulted her; or had a man spoken such words who would +not, under any circumstances, have a right to speak them. + +"Ah, yes! I thought it would be so," he said. "I may go now, and may +know that I have been turned out." + +"What is it you mean, Dr Crofts? What is it you are saying? Why do you +talk that nonsense, trying to see if you can provoke me?" +"Yes; it is nonsense. I have no right to address you in that way, and +certainly should not have done it now that I am in your house in the +way of my profession. I beg your pardon." Now he also was standing, but +he had not moved from his side of the fireplace. + +"Are you going to forgive me before I go? + +"Forgive you for what?" said she. + +"For daring to love you; for having loved you almost as long as you can +remember; for loving you better than all beside. This alone you should +forgive; but will you forgive me for having told it?" + +He had made her no offer, nor did she expect that he was about to make +one. She herself had hardly yet realised the meaning of his words, and +she certainly had asked herself no question as to the answer which she +should give to them. There are cases in which lovers present themselves +in so unmistakable a guise, that the first word of open love uttered by +them tells their whole story, and tells it without the possibility of a +surprise. And it is generally so when the lover has not been an old +friend, when even his acquaintance has been of modern date. It had been +so essentially in the case of Crosbie and Lily Dale. When Crosbie came +to Lily and made his offer, he did it with perfect ease and thorough +self-possession, for he almost knew that it was expected. And Lily, +though she had been flurried for a moment, had her answer pat enough. +She already loved the man with all her heart, delighted in his +presence, basked in the sunshine of his manliness, rejoiced in his wit, +and had tuned her ears to the tone of his voice. It had all been done, +and the world expected it. Had he not made his offer, Lily would have +been ill-treated-though, alas, alas, there was future ill-treatment, so +much heavier, in store for her! But there are other cases in which a +lover cannot make himself known as such without great difficulty, and +when he does do so, cannot hope for an immediate answer in his favour. +It is hard upon old friends that this difficulty should usually fall +the heaviest upon them. Crofts had been so intimate with the Dale +family that very many persons had thought it probable that he would +marry one of the girls. Mrs Dale herself had thought so, and had almost +hoped it. Lily had certainly done both. These thoughts and hopes had +somewhat faded away, but yet their former existence should have been in +the doctor's favour. But now, when he had in some way spoken out, Bell +started back from him and would not believe that he was in earnest. She +probably loved him better than any man in the world, and yet, when he +spoke to her of love, she could not bring herself to understand him. + +"I don't know what you mean, Dr Crofts; indeed I do not," she said. + +"I had meant to ask you to be my wife; simply that. But you shall not +have the pain of making me a positive refusal. As I rode here today I +thought of it. During my frequent rides of late I have thought of +little else. But I told myself that I had no right to do it. I have not +even a house in which it would be fit that you should live." + +"Dr Crofts, if I loved you-if I wished to marry you-" and then she +stopped herself. + +"But you do not?" + +"No; I think not. I suppose not. No. But in any way no consideration +about money has anything to do with it." + +"But I am not that butcher or that baker whom you could love?" + +"No," said Bell; and then she stopped herself from further speech, not +as intending to convey all her answer in that one word, but as not +knowing how to fashion any further words. + +"I knew it would be so," said the doctor. + +It will, I fear, be thought by those who condescend to criticise this +lover's conduct and his mode of carrying on his suit, that he was very +unfit for such work. Ladies will say that he wanted courage, and men +will say that he wanted wit. I am inclined, however, to believe that he +behaved as well as men generally do behave on such occasions, and that +he showed. himself to be a good average lover. There is your bold +lover, who knocks his lady-love over as he does a bird, and who would +anathematise himself all over, and swear that his gun was distraught, +and look about as though he thought the world was coming to an end, if +he missed to knock over his bird. And there is your timid lover, who +winks his eyes when he fires, who has felt certain from the moment in +which he buttoned on his knickerbockers that he at any rate would kill +nothing, and who, when he hears the loud congratulations of his +friends, cannot believe that he really did bag that beautiful winged +thing by his own prowess. The beautiful winged thing which the timid +man carries home in his bosom, declining to have it thrown into a +miscellaneous cart, so that it may never be lost in a common crowd of +game, is better to him than are the slaughtered hecatombs to those who +kill their birds by the hundred. + +But Dr Crofts had so winked his eye, that he was not in the least aware +whether he had winged his bird or no. Indeed, having no one at hand to +congratulate him, he was quite sure that the bird had flown away +uninjured into the next field. "No" was the only word which Bell had +given in answer to his last sidelong question, and No is not a +comfortable word to lovers. But there had been that in Bell's No which +might have taught him that the bird was not escaping without a wound, +if he had still had any of his wits about him. + +"Now I will go," said he. Then he paused for an answer, but none came. +"And you will understand what I meant when I spoke of being turned out." + +"Nobody turns you out." And Bell, as she spoke, had almost descended to +a sob. + +"It is time, at any rate, that I should go; is it not? And, Bell, don't +suppose that this little scene will keep me away from your sister's +bedside. I shall be here tomorrow, and you will find that you will +hardly know me again for the same person." Then in the dark he put out +his hand to her. + +"Good-bye," she said, giving him her hand. He pressed hers very +closely, but she, though she wished to do so, could not bring herself +to return the pressure. Her hand remained passive in his, showing no +sign of offence; but it was absolutely passive. + +"Good-bye, dearest friend," he said. + +"Good-bye," she answered-and then he was gone. + +She waited quite still till she heard the front-door close after him, +and then she crept silently up to her own bedroom, and sat herself down +in a low rocking-chair over the fire. It was in accordance with a +custom already established that her mother should remain with Lily till +the tea was ready downstairs; for in these days of illness such dinners +as were provided were eaten early. Bell, therefore, knew that she had +still some half-hour of her own, during which she might sit and think +undisturbed. + +And what naturally should have been her first thoughts? That she had +ruthlessly refused a man who, as she now knew, loved her well, and for +whom she had always felt at any rate the warmest friendship? Such were +not her thoughts, nor were they in any way akin to this. They ran back +instantly to years gone by-over long years, as her few years were +counted, and settled themselves on certain halcyon days, in which she +had dreamed that he had loved her, and had fancied that she had loved +him. How she had schooled herself for those days since that, and taught +herself to know that her thoughts had been over-bold! And now it had +all come round. The only man that she had ever liked had loved her. +Then there came to her a memory of a certain day, in which she had been +almost proud to think that Crosbie had admired her, in which she had +almost hoped that it might be so; and as she thought of this she +blushed, and struck her foot twice upon the floor. + +"Dear Lily," she said to herself-"poor Lily!" But the feeling which +induced her then to think of her sister had had no relation to that +which had first brought Crosbie into her mind. + +And this man had loved her through it all-this priceless, peerless +man-this man who was as true to the backbone as that other man had +shown himself to be false; who was as sound as the other man had proved +himself to be rotten. A smile came across her face as she sat looking +at the fire, thinking of this. A man had loved her, whose love was +worth possessing. She hardly remembered whether or no she had refused +him or accepted him. She hardly asked herself what she would do. As to +all that it was necessary that she should have many thoughts, but the +necessity did not press upon her quite immediately. For the present, at +any rate, she might sit and triumph-and thus triumphant she sat there +till the old nurse came in and told her that her mother was waiting for +her below. + +CHAPTER XL + +PREPARATIONS FOR THE WEDDING + + +The fourteenth of February was finally settled as the day on which Mr +Crosbie was to be made the happiest of men. A later day had been at +first named, the twenty-seventh or twenty-eighth having been suggested +as an improvement, over the first week in March; but Lady Amelia had +been frightened by Crosbie's behaviour on that Sunday evening, and had +made the countess understand that there should be no unnecessary delay. + +"He doesn't scruple at that kind of thing," Lady Amelia had said in one +of her letters, showing perhaps less trust in the potency of her own +rank than might have been expected from her. The countess, however, had +agreed with her, and when Crosbie received from his mother-in-law a +very affectionate epistle, setting forth all the reasons which would +make the fourteenth so much more convenient a day than the +twenty-eighth, he was unable to invent an excuse for not being made +happy a fortnight earlier than the time named in the bargain. His first +impulse had been against yielding, arising from some feeling which made +him think that more than the bargain ought not to be exacted. But what +was the use to him of quarrelling? What the use, at least, of +quarrelling just then? He believed that he could more easily +enfranchise himself from the De Courcy tyranny when he should be once +married than he could do now. When Lady Alexandrina should be his own +he would let her know that he intended to be her master. If in doing so +it would be necessary that he should divide himself altogether from the +De Courcys, such division should be made. At the present moment he +would yield to them, at any rate in this matter. And so the fourteenth +of February was fixed for the marriage. + +In the second week in January Alexandrina came up to look after her +things; or, in more noble language, to fit herself with becoming bridal +appanages. As she could not properly do all this work alone, or even +under the surveillance and with the assistance of a sister, Lady de +Courcy was to come up also. But Alexandrina came first, remaining with +her sister in St. John's Wood till the countess should arrive. The +countess had never yet condescended to accept of her son-in-law's +hospitality, but always went to the cold, comfortless house in Portman +Square-the house which had been the De Courcy town family mansion for +many years, and which the countess would long since have willingly +exchanged for some abode on the other side of Oxford Street; but the +earl had been obdurate; his clubs and certain lodgings which he had +occasionally been wont to occupy, were on the right side of Oxford +Street; why should he change his old family residence? So the countess +was coming up to Portman Square, not having been even asked on this +occasion to St. John's Wood. + +"Don't you think we'd better," Mr Gazebee had said to his wife, almost +trembling at the renewal of his own proposition. + +"I think not, my dear," Lady Amelia had answered. + +"Mamma is not very particular; but there are little things, you know-" + +"Oh, yes, of course," said Mr Gazebee; and then the conversation had +been dropped. He would most willingly have entertained his august +mother-in-law during her visit to the metropolis, and yet her presence +in his house would have made him miserable as long as she remained +there. + +But for a week Alexandrina sojourned under Mr Gazebee's roof, during +which time Crosbie was made happy with all the delights of an expectant +bridegroom. Of course he was given to understand that he was to dine at +the Gazebees' every day, and spend all his evenings there; and, under +the circumstances, he had no excuse for not doing so. Indeed, at the +present moment, his hours would otherwise have hung heavily enough upon +his hands. In spite of his bold resolution with reference to his eye, +and his intention not to be debarred from the pleasures of society by +the marks of the late combat, he had not, since that occurrence, +frequented his club very closely; and though London was now again +becoming fairly full, he did not find himself going out so much as had +been his wont. The brilliance of his coming marriage did not seem to +have added much to his popularity; in fact, the world-his world-was +beginning to look coldly at him. Therefore that daily attendance at St. +John's Wood was not felt to be so irksome as might have been expected. + +A residence had been taken for the couple in a very fashionable row of +buildings abutting upon the Bayswater Road, called Princess Royal +Crescent. The house was quite new, and the street being unfinished had +about it strong smell of mortar, and a general aspect of builders' +poles and brickbats; but nevertheless, it was acknowledged to be a +quite correct locality. From one end of the crescent a corner of Hyde +Park could be seen, and the other abutted on a very handsome terrace +indeed, in which lived an ambassador-from South America-a few bankers' +senior clerks, and a peer of the realm. We know how vile is the sound +of Baker Street, and how absolutely foul to the polite ear is the name +of Fitzroy Square. The houses, however, in those purlieus are +substantial, warm, and of good size. The house in Princess Royal +Crescent was certainly not substantial, for in these days +substantially-built houses do not pay. It could hardly have been warm, +for, to speak the truth, it was even yet not finished throughout; and +as for the size, though the drawing-room was a noble apartment, +consisting of a section of the whole house, with a corner cut out for +the staircase, It was very much cramped in its other parts, and was +made like a cherub, in this respect, that it had no rear belonging to +it. + +"But if you have no private fortune of your own, you cannot have +everything," as the countess observed when Crosbie objected to the +house because a closet under the kitchen-stairs was to be assigned to +him as his own dressing-room. + +When the question of the house was first debated, Lady Amelia had been +anxious that St. John's Wood should be selected as the site, but to +this Crosbie had positively objected. + +"I think you don't like St. John's Wood," Lady Amelia had said to him +somewhat sternly, thinking to awe him into a declaration that he +entertained no general enmity to the neighbourhood. But Crosbie was not +weak enough for this. + +No; I do not," he said. + +"I have always disliked it. It amounts to a prejudice, I dare say. But +if I were made to live here I am convinced I should cut my throat in +the first six months." + +Lady Amelia had then drawn herself up, declaring her sorrow that her +house should be so hateful to him. + +"Oh, dear, no," said he. + +"I like it very much for you, and enjoy coming here of all things. I +speak only of the effect which living here myself would have upon me." + +Lady Amelia was quite clever enough to understand it all; but she had +her sister's interest at heart, and therefore persevered in her +affectionate solicitude for her brother-in-law, giving up that point as +to St. John's Wood. Crosbie himself had wished to go to one of the new +Pimlico squares down near Vauxhall Bridge and the river, actuated +chiefly by consideration of the enormous distance lying between that +locality and the northern region in which Lady Amelia lived; but to +this Lady Alexandrina had objected strongly. If, indeed, they could +have achieved Eaton Square, or a street leading out of Eaton Square-if +they could have crept on to the hem of the skirt of Belgravia-the bride +would have been delighted. And at first she was very nearly being taken +in with the idea that such was the proposal made to her. Her +geographical knowledge of Pimlico had not been perfect, and she had +nearly fallen into a fatal error. But a friend had kindly intervened. + +"For heaven's sake, my dear, don't let him take you anywhere beyond +Eccleston Square!" had been exclaimed to her in dismay by a faithful +married friend. Thus warned, Alexandrina had been firm, and now their +tent was to be pitched in Princess Royal Crescent, from one end of +which the Hyde Park may be seen. + +The furniture had been ordered chiefly under the inspection, and by the +experience, of the Lady Amelia. Crosbie had satisfied himself by +declaring that she at any rate could get the things cheaper than he +could buy them, and that he had no taste for such employment. +Nevertheless, he had felt that he was being made subject to tyranny and +brought under the thumb of subjection. He could not go cordially into +this matter of beds and chairs, and, therefore, at last deputed the +whole matter to the De Courcy faction. And for this there was another +reason, not hitherto mentioned. Mr Mortimer Gazebee was finding the +money with which all the furniture was being bought. He, with an honest +but almost unintelligible zeal for the De Courcy family; had tied up +every shilling on which he could lay his hand as belonging to Crosbie, +in the interest of Lady Alexandrina. He had gone to work for her, +scraping here and arranging there, strapping the new husband down upon +the grindstone of his matrimonial settlement, as though the future +bread of his, Gazebee's, own children were dependent on the validity of +his legal workmanship. And for this he was not to receive a penny, or +gain any advantage, immediate or ulterior. It came from his zeal-his +zeal for the coronet which Lord de Courcy wore. According to his mind +an earl and an earl's belongings were entitled to such zeal. It was the +theory in which he had been educated, and amounted to a worship which, +unconsciously, he practised. Personally, he disliked Lord de Courcy, +who ill-treated him. He knew that the earl was a heartless, cruel, bad +man. But as an earl he was entitled to an amount of service which no +commoner could have commanded from Mr Gazebee. Mr Gazebee, having thus +tied up all the available funds in favour of Lady Alexandrina's +seemingly expected widowhood, was himself providing the money with +which the new house was to be furnished. + +"You can pay me a hundred and fifty a year with four per cent, till it +is liquidated," he had said to Crosbie; and Crosbie had assented with a +grunt. Hitherto, though he had lived in London expensively, and as a +man of fashion, he had never owed any one anything. He was now to begin +that career of owing. But when a clerk in a public office marries an +earl's daughter, he cannot expect to have everything his own way. + +Lady Amelia had bought the ordinary furniture-the beds, the +stair-carpets, the washing-stands, and the kitchen things. Gazebee had +got a bargain of the dinner-table and sideboard. But Lady Alexandrina +herself was to come up with reference to the appurtenances of the +drawing-room. It was with reference to matters of costume that the +countess intended to lend her assistance-matters of costume as to which +the bill could not be sent in to Gazebee, and be paid for by him with +five per cent, duly charged against the bridegroom. The bridal +trousseau must be produced by De Courcy's means, and, therefore, it was +necessary that the countess herself should come upon the scene. + +"I will have no bills, d'ye hear?" snarled the earl, gnashing and +snapping upon his words with one specially ugly black tooth. "I won't +have any bills about this affair." And yet he made no offer of ready +money. It was very necessary under such circumstances that the countess +herself should come upon the scene. An ambiguous hint had been conveyed +to Mr Gazebee, during a visit of business which he had lately made to +Courcy Castle, that the milliner's bills might as well be pinned on to +those of the furniture-makers, the crockerymongers, and the like. The +countess, putting it in her own way, had gently suggested that the +fashion of the thing had changed lately, and that such an arrangement +was considered to be the proper thing among people who lived really in +the world. But Gazebee was a clear-headed, honest man; and he knew the +countess. He did not think that such an arrangement could be made on +the present occasion. Whereupon the countess pushed her suggestion no +further, but made up her mind that she must come up to London herself. + +It was pleasant to see the Ladies Amelia and Alexandrina, as they sat +within a vast emporium of carpets in Bond Street, asking questions of +the four men who were waiting upon them, putting their heads together +and whispering, calculating accurately as to extra twopences a yard, +and occasioning as much trouble as it was possible for them to give. It +was pleasant because they managed their large hoops cleverly among the +huge rolls of carpets, because they were enjoying themselves +thoroughly, and taking to themselves the homage of the men as clearly +their due. But it was not so pleasant to look at Crosbie, who was +fidgeting to get away to his office, to whom no power of choosing in +the matter was really given, and whom the men regarded as being +altogether supernumerary. The ladies had promised to be at the shop by +half-past ten, so that Crosbie should reach his office at eleven-or a +little after. But it was nearly eleven before they left the Gazebee +residence, and it was very evident that half-an-hour among the carpets +would be by no means sufficient. It seemed as though miles upon miles +of gorgeous colouring were unrolled before them; and then when any +pattern was regarded as at all practicable, it was unrolled backwards +and forwards till a room was nearly covered by it. Crosbie felt for the +men who were hauling about the huge heaps of material; but Lady Amelia +sat as composed as though it were her duty to inspect every yard of +stuff in the warehouse. + +"I think we'll look at that one at the bottom again." Then the men went +to work and removed a mountain. + +"No, my dear, that green in the scroll-work won't do. It would fly +directly, if any hot water were spilt." The man, smiling ineffably, +declared that that particular green never flew anywhere. But Lady +Amelia paid no attention to him, and the carpet for which the mountain +had been removed became part of another mountain. + +"That might do," said Alexandrina, gazing upon a magnificent crimson +ground through which rivers of yellow meandered, carrying with them in +their streams an infinity of blue flowers. And as she spoke she held +her head gracefully on one side, and looked down upon the carpet +doubtingly. Lady Amelia poked it with her parasol at though to test its +durability, and whispered something about yellows showing the dirt. +Crosbie took out his watch and groaned. +"It's a superb carpet, my lady, and about the newest thing we have. We +put down four hundred and fifty yards of it for the Duchess of South +Wales, at Cwddglwlch Castle, only last month. Nobody has had it since, +for it has not been in stock." Whereupon Lady Amelia again poked it, +and then got up and walked upon it. Lady Alexandrina held her head a +little more on one side. + +"Five and three?" said Lady Amelia. + +"Oh, no, my lady; five and seven; and the cheapest carpet we have in +the house. There is twopence a yard more in the colour; there is, +indeed." + +"And the discount?" asked Lady Amelia. + +"Two and a half, my lady." + +"Oh dear, no," said Lady Amelia. "I always have five per cent. for +immediate payment-quite immediate, you know." Upon which the man +declared the question must be referred to his master. Two and a half +was the rule of the house. Crosbie, who had been looking out of the +window, said that upon his honour he couldn't wait any longer. + +"And what do you think of it, Adolphus?", asked Alexandrina. + +"Think of what?" + +"Of the carpet-this one, you know!" + +"Oh-what do I think of the carpet? I don't think I quite like all these +yellow bands; and isn't it too red? I should have thought something +brown with a small pattern would have been better. But, upon my word, I +don't much care." + +"Of course he doesn't," said Lady Amelia. Then the two ladies put their +heads together for another five minutes, and the carpet was +chosen-subject to that question of the discount. + +"And now about the rug," said Lady Amelia. But here Crosbie rebelled, +and insisted that he must leave them and go to his office. + +"You can't want me about the rug," he said. + +"Well, perhaps not," said Lady Amelia. But it was manifest that +Alexandrina did not approve of being thus left by her senior attendant. + +The same thing happened in Oxford Street with reference to the chairs +and sofas, and Crosbie began to wish that he were settled, even though +he should have to dress himself in the closet below the kitchen-stairs. +He was learning to hate the whole household in St. John's Wood, and +almost all that belonged to it. He was introduced there to little +family economies of which hitherto he had known nothing, and which were +disgusting to him, and the necessity for which was especially explained +to him. It was to men placed as he was about to place himself that +these economies were so vitally essential-to men who with limited means +had to maintain a decorous outward face towards the fashionable world. +Ample supplies of butchers' meat and unlimited washing-bills might be +very well upon fifteen hundred a year to those who went out but seldom, +and who could use the first cab that came to hand when they did go out. +But there were certain things that Lady Alexandrina must do, and +therefore the strictest household economy became necessary. Would Lily +Dale have required the use of a carriage, got up to look as though it +were private, at the expense of her husband's beefsteaks and clean +shirts? That question and others of that nature were asked by Crosbie +within his own mind, not unfrequently. + +But, nevertheless, he tried to love Alexandrina, or rather to persuade +himself that he loved her. If he could only get her away from the De +Courcy faction, and especially from the Gazebee branch of it, he would +break her of all that. He would teach her to sit triumphantly in a +street cab, and to cater for her table with a plentiful hand. Teach +her! at some age over thirty; and with such careful training as she had +already received! Did he intend to forbid her ever again to see her +relations, ever to go to St. John's Wood, or to correspond with the +countess and Lady Margaretta? Teach her, indeed! Had he yet to learn +that he could not wash a blackamoor white? that he could not have done +so even had he himself been well adapted for the attempt, whereas he +was in truth nearly as ill adapted as a man might be? But who could +pity him? Lily, whom he might have had in his bosom, would have been no +blackamoor. + +Then came the time of Lady de Courcy's visit to town, and Alexandrina +moved herself off to Portman Square. There was some apparent comfort in +this to Crosbie, for he would thereby be saved from those daily dreary +journeys up to the north-west. I may say that he positively hated that +windy corner near the church, round which he had to walk in getting to +the Gazebee residence, and that he hated the lamp which guided him to +the door, and the very door itself. This door stood buried as it were +in a wall, and opened on to a narrow passage which ran across a +so-called garden, or front yard, containing on each side two iron +receptacles for geraniums, painted to look like Palissy ware, and a +naked female on a pedestal. No spot in London was, as he thought, so +cold as the bit of pavement immediately in front of that door. And +there he would be kept five, ten, fifteen minutes, as he +declared-though I believe in my heart that the time never exceeded +three-while Richard was putting off the trappings of his work and +putting on the trappings of his grandeur. + +If people would only have their doors opened to you by such assistance +as may come most easily and naturally to the work! I stood lately for +some minutes on a Tuesday afternoon at a gallant portal, and as I waxed +impatient a pretty maiden came and opened it. She was a pretty maiden, +though her hands and face and apron told tales of the fire-grates. + +"Laws, sir," she said, "the visitors' day is Wednesday; and if you +would come then, there would be the man in livery!" She took my card +with the corner of her apron, and did just as well as the man in +livery; but what would have happened to her had her little speech been +overheard by her mistress? + +Crosbie hated the house in St. John's Wood, and therefore the coming of +the countess was a relief to him. Portman Square was easily to be +reached, and the hospitalities of the countess would not be pressed +upon him so strongly as those of the Gazebees. When he first called he +was shown into the great family dining-room, which looked out towards +the back of the house. The front windows were, of course, closed, as +the family was not supposed to be in London. Here he remained in the +room for some quarter of an hour, and then the countess descended upon +him in all her grandeur. Perhaps he had never before seen her so grand. +Her dress was very large, and rustled through the broad doorway, as if +demanding even a broader passage. She had on a wonder of a bonnet, and +a velvet mantle that was nearly as expansive as her petticoats. She +threw her head a little back as she accosted him, and he instantly +perceived that he was enveloped in the fumes of an affectionate but +somewhat contemptuous patronage. In old days he had liked the countess, +because her manner to him had always been flattering. In his +intercourse with her he had been able to feel that he gave quite as +much as he got, and that the countess was aware of the fact. In all the +circumstances of their acquaintance the ascendancy had been with him, +and therefore the acquaintance had been a pleasant one. The countess +had been a good-natured, agreeable woman, whose rank and position had +made her house pleasant to him; and therefore he had consented to shine +upon her with such light as he had to give. Why was it that the matter +was reversed, now that there was so much stronger a cause for good +feeling between them? He knew that there was such change, and with +bitter internal upbraidings he acknowledged to himself that this woman +was getting the mastery over him. As the friend of the countess he had +been a great man in her eyes-in all her little words and looks she had +acknowledged his power; but now, as her son-in-law, he was to become a +very little man-such as was Mortimer Gazebee! + +"My dear Adolphus," she said, taking both his hands, "the day is coming +very near now; is it not?" + +"Very near, indeed," he said. + +"Yes, it is very near. I hope you feel yourself a happy man." + +"Oh, yes, that's of course." + +"It ought to be. Speaking very seriously, I mean that it ought to be a +matter of course. She is. everything that a man should desire in a +wife. I am not alluding now to her rank, though of course you feel what +a great advantage she gives you in this respect." + +Crosbie muttered something as to his consciousness of having drawn a +prize in the lottery; but he so muttered it as not to convey to the +lady's ears a proper sense of his dependent gratitude. + +"I know of no man more fortunate than you have been," she continued +"and I hope that my dear girl will find that you are fully aware that +it is so. I think that she is looking rather fagged. You have allowed +her to do more than was good for her in the way of shopping." + +"She has done a good deal, certainly," said Crosbie. + +"She is so little used to anything of that kind! But of course, as +things have turned out, it was necessary that she should see to these +things herself." + +"I rather think she liked it," said Crosbie. + +"I believe she will always like doing her duty. We are just going now +to Madame Millefranc's, to see some silks-perhaps you would wish to go +with us?" + +Just at this moment Alexandrina came into the room, and, looked as +though she were in all respects a smaller edition of her mother. They +were both well-grown women, with handsome. large figures, and a certain +air about them which answered almost for beauty. As to the countess, +her face, on close inspection, bore, as it was entitled to do, deep +signs of age; but she so managed her face that any such close +inspection was never made; and her general appearance for her time of +life was certainly good. Very little more than this could be said in +favour of her daughter. + +"Oh dear, no, mamma," she said, having heard her mother's last words. +"He's the worst person in a shop in the world. He likes nothing, and +dislikes nothing. Do you, Adolphus?" + +"Indeed I do. I like all the cheap things, and dislike all the dear +things." + +"Then you certainly shall not go with us to Madame Millefranc's," said +Alexandrina. + +"It would not matter to him there, you know, my dear," said the +countess, thinking perhaps of the suggestion she had lately made to Mr +Gazebee. + +On this occasion Crosbie managed to escape, simply promising to return +to Portman Square in the evening after dinner. + +"By-the-by, Adolphus," said the countess, as he handed her into the +hired carriage which stood at the door, + +"I wish you would go to Lambert's, on Ludgate Hill, for me. He has had +a bracelet of mine for nearly three months. Do, there's a good. +creature. Get it if you can, and bring it up this evening." + +Crosbie, as he made his way back to his office, swore that he would not +do the bidding of the countess. He would not trudge off into the city +after her trinkets. But at five o'clock, when he left his office, he +did go there. He apologised to himself by saying that he had nothing +else to do, and bethought himself that at the present moment his lady +mother-in-law's smiles might be more convenient than her frowns. So he +went to Lambert's, on Ludgate Hill, and there learned that the bracelet +had been sent down to Courcy Castle full two months since. + +After that he dined at his club, at Sebright's. He dined alone, sitting +by no means in bliss with his half-pint of sherry on the table before +him. A man now and then came up and spoke to him, one a few words, and +another a few, and two or three congratulated him as to his marriage; +but the club was not the same thing to him as it had formerly been. He +did not stand in the centre of the rug, speaking indifferently to all +or any around him, ready with his joke, and loudly on the alert with +the last news of the day. How easy it is to be seen when any man has +fallen from his pride of place, though the altitude was ever so small, +and the fall ever so slight. Where is the man who can endure such a +fall without showing it in his face, in his voice, in his step, and in +every motion of every limb? Crosbie knew that he had fallen, and showed +that he knew it by the manner in which he ate his mutton chop. + +At half-past eight he was again in Portman Square, and found the two +ladies crowding over a small fire in a small back drawingroom. The +furniture was all covered with brown holland, and the place had about +it that cold comfortless feeling which uninhabited rooms always +produce. Crosbie, as he had walked from the club up to Portman Square, +had indulged in some serious thoughts. The kind of life which he had +hitherto led had certainly passed away from him. He could never again +be the pet of a club, or indulged as one to whom all good things were +to be given without any labour at earning them on his own part. Such +for some years had been his good fortune, but such could be his good +fortune no longer. Was there anything within his reach which he might +take in lieu of that which he had lost? He might still be victorious at +his office, having more capacity for such victory than others around +him. But such success alone would hardly suffice for him. Then he +considered whether he might not even yet be happy in his own +home-whether Alexandrina, when separated from her mother, might not +become such a wife as he could love. Nothing softens a man's feelings +so much as failure, or makes him turn so anxiously to an idea of home +as buffetings from those he meets abroad. He had abandoned Lily because +his outer world had seemed. to him too bright to be deserted. He would +endeavour to supply her place with Alexandrina, because his outer world +had seemed to him too harsh to be supported. Alas! alas! a man cannot +so easily repent of his sins, and wash himself white from their stains! + +When he entered the room the two ladies were sitting over the fire, as +I have stated, and Crosbie could immediately perceive that the spirit +of the countess was not serene. In fact there had been a few words +between the mother and child on that matter of the trousseau, and +Alexandrina had plainly told her mother that if she were to be married +at all she would be married with such garments belonging to her as were +fitting for an earl's daughter. It was in vain that her mother had +explained with many circumlocutional phrases, that the fitness in this +respect should be accommodated rather to the plebeian husband than to +the noble parent. Alexandrina had been very firm, and had insisted on +her rights, giving the countess to understand that if her orders for +finery were not complied with, she would return as a spinster to +Courcy, and prepare herself for partnership with Rosina. + +"My dear," said the countess, piteously, "you can have no idea of what +I shall have to go through with your father. And, of course, you could +get all these things afterwards." + +"Papa has no right to treat me in such a way. And if he would not give +me any money himself, he should have let me have some of my own." + +"Ah, my dear, that was Mr Gazebee's fault." + +"I don't care whose fault it was. It certainly was not mine. I won't +have him to tell me"-"him" was intended to signify Adolphus +Crosbie-"that he had to pay for my wedding-clothes." + +"Of course not that, my dear." + +"No; nor yet for the things which I wanted immediately. I'd much rather +go and tell him at once that the marriage must be put off." + +Alexandrina of course carried her point, the countess reflecting with a +maternal devotion equal almost to that of the pelican, that the earl +could not do more than kill her. So the things were ordered as +Alexandrina chose to order them, and the countess desired that the +bills might be sent in to Mr Gazebee. Much self-devotion had been +displayed by the mother, but the mother thought that none had been +displayed by the daughter, and therefore she had been very cross with +Alexandrina. + +Crosbie, taking a chair, sat himself between them, and in a very +good-humoured tone explained the little affair of the bracelet. + +"Your ladyship's memory must have played you false," said he, with a +smile. + +"My memory is very good," said the countess; "very good indeed. If +Twitch got it, and didn't tell me, that was not my fault." Twitch was +her ladyship's lady's-maid. Crosbie, seeing how the land lay, said +nothing more about the bracelet. + +After a minute or two he put out his hand to take that of Alexandrina. +They were to be married now in a week or two, and such a sign of love +might have been allowed to him, even in. the presence of the bride's +mother. He did succeed in getting hold of her fingers, but found in +them none of the softness of a response. + +"Don't," said Lady Alexandrina, withdrawing her hand; and the tone of +her voice as she spoke the word was not sweet to his ears. He +remembered at the moment a certain scene which took place one evening +at the little bridge at Allington and Lily's voice, and Lily's words, +and Lily's passion, as he caressed her: "Oh, my love, my love, my love!" + +"My dear," said the countess, "they know how tired I am. I wonder +whether they are going to give us any tea." Whereupon Crosbie rang the +bell, and, on resuming his chair, moved it a little farther away from +his lady-love. + +Presently the tea was brought to them by the housekeeper's assistant, +who did not appear to have made herself very smart for the occasion, +and Crosbie thought that he was de trop. This, however, was a mistake +on his part. As he had been admitted into the family, such little +matters were no longer subject of care. Two or three months since, the +countess would have fainted at the idea of such a domestic appearing +with a tea-tray before Mr Crosbie. Now, however, she was utterly +indifferent to any such consideration. Crosbie was to be admitted into +the family, thereby becoming entitled to certain privileges-and thereby +also becoming subject to certain domestic drawbacks. In Mrs Dale's +little household there had been no rising to grandeur; but then, also, +there had never been any bathos of dirt. Of this also Crosbie thought +as he sat with his tea in his hand. + +He soon, however, got himself away. When he rose to go Alexandrina also +rose, and he was permitted to press his nose against her cheekbone by +way of a salute. + +"Good-night, Adolphus," said the countess, putting out her hand to him. + +"But stop a minute; I know there is something I want you to do for me. +But you will look in as you go to your office tomorrow morning." + +CHAPTER XLI + +DOMESTIC TROUBLES + + +When Crosbie was making his ineffectual inquiry after Lady de Courcy's +bracelet at Lambert's, John Eames was in the act of entering Mrs +Roper's front door in Burton Crescent. + +"Oh, John, where's Mr Cradell?" were the first words which greeted him, +and they were spoken by the divine Amelia. Now, in her usual practice +of life, Amelia did not interest herself much as to the whereabouts of +Mr Cradell. + +"Where's Caudle?" said Eames, repeating the question. + +"Upon my word, I don't know. I walked to the office with him, but I +haven't seen him since. We don't sit in the same room, you know." + +"John!" and then she stopped. + +"What's up now?" said John. + +"John! That woman's off and left her husband. As sure as your name's +John Eames, that foolish fellow has gone off with her." + +"What, Caudle? I don't believe it." + +"She went out of this house at two o'clock in the afternoon, and has +never been back since." That, certainly, was only four hours from the +present time, and such an absence from home in the middle of the day +was but weak evidence on which to charge a married woman with the great +sin of running off with a lover. This Amelia felt, and therefore she +went on to explain. "He's there upstairs in the drawing-room, the very +picture of disconsolateness." + +"Who-Caudle?" + +"Lupex is. He's been drinking a little, I'm afraid; but he's very +unhappy, indeed. He had an appointment to meet his wife here at four +o'clock, and when he came he found her gone. He rushed up into their +room, and now he says she has broken open a box he had and taken off +all his money." + +"But he never had any money." + +"He paid mother some the day before yesterday." + +"That's just the reason he shouldn't have any today." + +"She certainly has taken things she wouldn't have taken if she'd merely +gone out shopping or anything like that, for I've been up in the room +and looked about She'd three necklaces. They weren't much account; but +she must have them all on, or else have got them in her pocket." + +"Caudle has never gone off with her in that way. He may be a fool-" +"Oh, he is, you know. I've never seen such a fool about a woman as he +has been." + +"But he wouldn't be a party to stealing a lot of trumpery trinkets, or +taking her husband's money. Indeed, I don't think he has anything to do +with it. Then Eames thought ever the circumstances of the day, and +remembered that he had certainly not seen Cradell since the morning. It +was that public servant's practice to saunter into Eames's room in the +middle of the day, and there consume bread and cheese and beer-in spite +of an assertion which Johnny had once made as to crumbs of biscuit +bathed in ink. But on this special day he had not done so. + +"I can't think he has been such a fool as that," said Johnny. + +"But he has," said Amelia. "It's dinner-time now, and where is he? Had +he any money left, Johnny?" + +So interrogated, Eames disclosed a secret confided to him by his friend +which no other circumstances would have succeeded in dragging from his +breast. + +"She borrowed twelve pounds from him about a fortnight since, +immediately after quarter-day. And she owed him money, too, before +that." + +"Oh, what a soft!" exclaimed Amelia; "and he hasn't paid mother a +shilling for the last two months!" + +"It was his money, perhaps, that Mrs Roper got from Lupex the day +before yesterday. If so, it comes to the same thing as far as she is +concerned, you know." + +"And what are we to do now?" said Amelia, as she went before her lover +upstairs. "Oh, John, what will become of me if ever you serve me in +that way? What should I do if you were to go off with another lady?" + +"Lupex hasn't gone off," said Eames, who hardly knew what to say when +the matter was brought before him with so closely personal a reference. + +"But it's the same thing," said Amelia. "Hearts is divided. Hearts that +have been joined together ought never to be divided; ought they?" And +then she hung upon his arm just as they got to the drawing-room door. + +"Hearts and darts are all my eye," said Johnny. "My belief is that a +man had better never marry at all. How d'you do, Mr Lupex? Is anything +the matter?" + +Mr Lupex was seated on a chair in the middle of the room, and was +leaning with his head over the back of it. So despondent was he in his +attitude that his head would have fallen off and rolled on to the +floor, had it followed the course which its owner seemed to intend that +it should take. His hands hung down also along the back legs of the +chair, till his fingers almost touched the ground, and altogether his +appearance was pendent, drooping, and woebegone. Miss Spruce was seated +in one corner of the room, with her hands folded in her lap before her, +and Mrs Roper was standing on the rug with a look of severe virtue on +her brow,-of virtue which, to judge by its appearance, was very severe. +Nor was its severity intended to be exercised solely against Mrs Lupex. +Mrs Roper was becoming very tired of Mr Lupex also, and would not have +been unhappy if he also had run away-leaving behind him so much of his +property as would have paid his bill. +Mr Lupex did not stir when first addressed by John Eames, but a certain +convulsive movement was to be seen on the back of his head, indicating +that this new arrival in the drawing-room had produced a fresh +accession of agony. The chair, too, quivered under him, and his fingers +stretched themselves nearer to the ground and shook themselves. + +"Mr Lupex, we're going to dinner immediately," said Mrs Roper. "Mr +Eames, where is your friend, Mr Cradell? + +"Upon my word I don't know," said Eames. + +"But I know," said Lupex, jumping up and standing at his full height, +while he knocked down the chair which had lately supported him. + +"The traitor to domestic bliss! I know. And wherever he is, he has that +false woman in his arms. Would he were here!" And as he expressed the +last wish he went through a motion with his hands and arms which seemed +intended to signify that if that unfortunate young man were in the +company he would pull him in pieces and double him up, and pack him +close, and then despatch his remains off, through infinite space, to +the Prince of Darkness. "Traitor," he exclaimed, as he finished the +process. "False traitor! Foul traitor! And she too!" Then, as he +thought of this softer side of the subject, he prepared himself to +relapse again on to the chair. Finding it on the ground he had to pick +it up. He did pick it up, and once more flung away his head over the +back of it, and stretched his finger-nails almost down to the carpet. + +"James," said Mrs Roper to her son, who was now in the room, "I think +you'd better stay with Mr Lupex while we are at dinner. Come, Miss +Spruce, I'm very sorry that you should be annoyed by this kind of +thing." + +"It don't hurt me," said Miss Spruce, preparing to leave the room. "I'm +only an old woman." "Annoyed!" said Lupex, raising himself again from +his chair, not perhaps altogether disposed to remain upstairs while the +dinner, for which it was intended that he should some day pay, was +being eaten below. "Annoyed! It is a profound sorrow to me that any +lady should be annoyed by my misfortunes. As regards Miss Spruce, I +look upon her character with profound veneration." + +"You needn't mind me; I'm only an old woman," said Miss Spruce. + +"But, by heavens, I do mind!" exclaimed Lupex; and hurrying forward he +seized Miss Spruce by the hand. "I shall always regard age as +entitled-" But the special privileges which Mr Lupex would have +accorded to age were never made known to the inhabitants of Mrs Roper's +boarding-house, for the door of the room was again opened at this +moment, and Mr Cradell entered. + +"Here you are, old fellow, to answer for yourself," said Eames. + +Cradell, who had heard something as he came in at the front door, but +had not heard that Lupex was in the drawing-room, made a slight start +backwards when he saw that gentleman's face. "Upon my word and honour," +he began-but he was able to carry his speech no further. Lupex, +dropping the hand of the elderly lady whom he reverenced, was upon him +in an instant, and Cradell was shaking beneath his grasp like an aspen +leaf-or rather not like an aspen leaf, unless an aspen leaf when shaken +is to be seen with its eyes shut, its mouth open, and its tongue +hanging out. + +"Come, I say," said Eames, stepping forward to his friend's assistance; +"this won't do at all, Mr Lupex. You've been drinking. You'd better +wait till tomorrow morning, and speak to Cradell then." + +"Tomorrow morning, viper," shouted Lupex, still holding his prey, but +looking back at Eames over his shoulder. Who the viper was had not been +clearly indicated. "When will he restore to me my wife? When will he +restore to me my honour?" + +"Upon-on-on-on my-" It was for the moment in vain that poor Mr Cradell +endeavoured to asseverate his innocence, and to stake his honour upon +his own purity as regarded Mrs Lupex. Lupex still held to his enemy's +cravat, though Eames had now got him by the arm, and so far impeded his +movements as to hinder him from proceeding to any graver attack. + +"Jemima, Jemima, Jemima!" shouted Mrs Roper. "Run for the police; run +for the police!". But Amelia, who had more presence of mind than her +mother, stopped Jemima as she was making to one of the front windows. +"Keep where you are," said Amelia. + +"They'll come quiet in a minute or two. And Amelia no doubt was right. +Calling for the police when there is a row in the house is like +summoning the water-engines when the soot is on fire in the kitchen +chimney. In such cases good management will allow the soot to burn +itself out, without aid from the water-engines. In the present instance +the police were not called in, and I am inclined to think that their +presence would not have been advantageous to any of the party. + +"Upon-my-honour-I know nothing about her," were the first words which +Cradell was able to articulate, when Lupex, under Eames's persuasion, +at last relaxed his hold. + +Lupex turned round to Miss Spruce with a sardonic grin. "You hear his +words-this enemy to domestic bliss-Ha, ha! man, tell me whither you +have conveyed my wife!" + +"If you were to give me the Bank of England I don't know," said Cradell. + +"And I'm sure he does not know," said Mrs Roper, whose suspicions +against Cradell were beginning to subside. But as her suspicions +subsided, her respect for him decreased. Such was the case also with +Miss Spruce, and with Amelia, and with Jemima. They had all thought him +to be a great fool for running away with Mrs Lupex, but now they were +beginning to think him a poor creature because he had not done so. Had +he committed that active folly he would have been an interesting fool. +But now, if, as they all suspected, he knew no more about Mrs Lupex +than they did, he would be a fool without any special interest whatever. + +"Of course he doesn't," said Eames. + +"No more than I do," said Amelia. + +"His very looks show him innocent," said Mrs Roper. + +"Indeed they do," said Miss Spruce. + +Lupex turned from one to the other as they thus defended the man whom +he suspected, and shook his head at each assertion that was made. "And +if he doesn't know who does?" he asked. "Haven't I seen it all for the +last three months? Is it reasonable to suppose that a creature such as +she, used to domestic comforts all her life, should have gone off in +this way, at dinnertime, taking with her my property and all her +jewels, and that nobody should have instigated her; nobody assisted +her! Is that a story to tell to such a man as me! You may tell it to +the marines!" Mr Lupex, as he made this speech, was walking about the +room, and as he finished it he threw his pocket-handkerchief with +violence on to the floor. "I know what to do, Mrs Roper," he said. "I +know what steps to take. I shall put the affair into the hands of my +lawyers tomorrow morning." Then he picked up his handkerchief and +walked down into the dining-room. + +"Of course you know nothing about it?" said Eames to his friend, having +run upstairs for the purpose of saying a word to him while he washed +his hands. + +"What-about Maria? I don't know where she is, if you mean that." + +"Of course I mean that. What else should I mean? And what makes you +call her Maria?" + +"It is wrong. I admit it's wrong. The word will come out, you know." + +"Will come out! I'll tell you what it. is, old fellow, you'll get +yourself into a mess, and all for nothing. That fellow will have you up +before the police for stealing his things-" + +"But, Johnny-" + +"I know all about it. Of course you have not stolen them, and of course +there was nothing to steal. But if you go on calling her Maria you'll +find that he'll have a pull on you. Men don't call other men's wives +names for nothing." + +"Of course we've been friends," said Cradell, who rather liked this +view of the matter. + +"Yes-you have been friends! She's diddled you out of your money, and +that's the beginning and the end of it. And now, if you go on showing +off your friendship, you'll be done out of more money. You're making an +ass of yourself. That's the long and the short of it." + +"And what have you made of yourself with that girl? There are worse +asses than I am yet, Master Johnny." Eames, as he had no answer ready +to this counter attack, left the room and went downstairs. Cradell soon +followed him, and in a few minutes they were all eating their dinner +together at Mrs Roper's hospitable table. + +Immediately after dinner Lupex took himself away, and the conversation +upstairs became general on the subject of the lady's departure. + +"If I was him I'd never ask a question about her, but let her go," said +Amelia. + +"Yes; and then have all her bills following you, wherever you went," +said Amelia's brother. + +"I'd sooner have her bills than herself," said Eames. + +"My belief is, that she's been an ill-used woman," said Cradell. "If +she had a husband that she could respect and have loved, and all that +sort of thing, she would have been a charming woman." + +"She's every bit as bad as he is," said Mrs Roper. + +"I can't agree with you, Mrs Roper," continued the lady's champion. +"Perhaps I ought to understand her position better than any one here, +and-" + +"Then that's just what you ought not to do, Mr Cradell," said Mrs +Roper. And now the lady of the house spoke out her mind with much +maternal dignity and with some feminine severity. + +"That's just what a young man like you has no business to know. What's +a married woman like that to you, or you to her; or what have you to do +with understanding her position? When you've a wife of your own, if +ever you do have one, you'll find you'll have trouble enough then +without anybody else interfering with you. Not but what I believe +you're innocent as a lamb about Mrs Lupex; that is, as far as any harm +goes. But you've got yourself into all this trouble by meddling, and +was like enough to get yourself choked upstairs by that man. And who's +to wonder when you go on pretending to be in love with a woman in that +way, and she old enough to be your mother? What would your mamma say if +she saw you at it?" + +"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Cradell. + +"It's all very well your laughing, but I hate such folly. If I see a +young man in love with a young woman, I respect him for it;" and then +she looked at Johnny Eames. "I respect him for it-even though he may +now and then do things as he shouldn't. They most of 'em does that. But +to see a young man like you, Mr Cradell, dangling after an old married +woman, who doesn't know how to behave herself; and all just because she +lets him to do it-ugh!-an old broomstick with a petticoat on would do +just as well! It makes me sick to see it, and that's the truth of it. I +don't call it manly; and it ain't manly, is it, Miss Spruce?" + +"Of course I know nothing about it," said the lady to whom the appeal +was thus made. "But a young gentleman should keep himself to himself +till the time comes for him to speak out-begging your pardon all the +same, Mr Cradell." + +"I don't see what a married woman should want with any one after her +but her own husband," said Amelia. + +"And perhaps not always that," said John Eames. + +It was about an hour after this when the front-door bell was rung, and +a scream from Jemima announced to them all that some critical moment +had arrived. Amelia, jumping up, opened the door, and then the rustle +of a woman's dress was heard on the lower stairs. + +"Oh, laws, ma'am, you have given us sich a turn," said Jemima. "We all +thought you was run away." + +"It's Mrs Lupex," said Amelia. And in two minutes more that ill-used +lady was in the room. + +"Well, my dears," said she, gaily, "I hope nobody has waited dinner." + +"No; we didn't wait dinner," said Mrs Roper, very gravely. + +"And where's my Orson? Didn't he dine at home? Mr Cradell, will you +oblige me by taking my shawl? But perhaps you had better not. People +are so censorious; ain't they, Miss Spruce? Mr Eames shall do it; and +everybody knows that that will be quite safe. Won't it, Miss Amelia?" + +"Quite, I should think," said Amelia. And Mrs Lupex knew that she was +not to look for an ally in that quarter on the present occasion. Eames +got up to take the shawl, and Mrs Lupex went on. + +"And didn't Orson dine at home? Perhaps they kept him down at the +theatre. But I've been thinking all day what fun it would be when he +thought his bird was flown." + +"He did dine at home," said Mrs Roper "and he didn't seem to like it. +There wasn't much fun, I can assure you." + +"Ah, wasn't there, though? I believe that man would like to have me +tied to his button-hole. I came across a few friends-lady friends, Mr +Cradell, though two of them had their husbands; so we made a party, and +just went down to Hampton Court. So my gentleman has gone again, has +he? That's what I get for gadding about myself, isn't it, Miss Spruce?" + +Mrs Roper, as she went to bed that night, made up her mind that, +whatever might be the cost and trouble of doing so, she would lose no +further time in getting rid of her married guests. + +CHAPTER XLII + +LILY'S BEDSIDE + + +Lily Dale's constitution was good, and her recovery was retarded by no +relapse or lingering debility; but, nevertheless, she was forced to +keep her bed for many days after the fever had left her. During all +this period Dr Crofts came every day. It was in vain that Mrs Dale +begged him not to do so; telling him in simple words that she felt +herself bound not to accept from him all this continuation of his +unremunerated labours now that the absolute necessity for them was +over. He answered her only by little jokes, or did not answer her at +all; but still he came daily, almost always at the same hour, just as +the day was waning, so that he could sit for a quarter of an hour in +the dusk, and then ride home to Guestwick in the dark. At this time +Bell had been admitted into her sister's room, and she would always +meet Dr Crofts at Lily's bedside; but she never sat with him alone, +since the day n which he had offered her his love with half-articulated +words, and she had declined it with words also half articulated. She +had seen him alone since that, on the stairs, or standing in the hall, +but she had not remained with him, talking to him after her old +fashion, and no further word of his love had been spoken in speech +either half or wholly articulate. + +Nor had Bell spoken of what had passed to any one else. Lily would +probably have told both her mother and sister instantly; but then no +such scene as that which had taken place with Bell would have been +possible with Lily. In whatever way the matter might have gone with +her, there would certainly have been some clear tale to tell when the +interview was over. She would have known whether or no she loved the +man, or could love him, and would have given him some true and +intelligible answer. Bell had not done so, but had given him an answer +which, if true, was not intelligible, and if intelligible was not true. +And yet, when she had gone away to think over what had passed-she had +been happy and satisfied, and almost triumphant. She had never yet +asked herself whether she expected anything further from Dr Crofts, nor +what that something further might be-and yet she was happy! + +Lily had now become pert and saucy in her bed, taking upon herself the +little airs which are allowed to a convalescent invalid as compensation +for previous suffering and restraint. She pretended to much anxiety on +the subject of her dinner, and declared that she would go out on such +or such a day, let Dr Crofts be as imperious as he might. "He's an old +savage, after all," she said to her sister, one evening after he was +gone, "and just as bad as the rest of them." + +"I do not know who the rest of them are," said Bell, "but at any rate +he's not very old." + +"You know what I mean. He's just as grumpy as Dr Gruffen, and thinks +everybody is to do what he tells them. Of course, you take his part." + +"And of course you ought, seeing how good he has been." + +"And of course I should, to anybody but you. I do like to abuse him to +you." + +"Lily, Lily!" + +"So I do. It's so hard to knock any fire out of you, that when one does +find the place where the flint lies, one can't help hammering at it. +What did he mean by saying that I shouldn't get up on Sunday? Of course +I shall get up if I like it." + +"Not if mamma asks you not?" + +"Oh, but she won't, unless he interferes and dictates to her. Oh, Bell, +what a tyrant he would be if he were married!" + +"Would he?" + +"And how submissive you would be, if you were his wife! It's a thousand +pities that you are not in love with each other-that is, if you are +not." + +"Lily, I thought that there was a promise between us about that." + +"Ah! but that was in other days. Things are all altered since that +promise was given,-all the world has been altered." And as she said +this the tone of her voice was changed, and it had become almost sad. +"I feel as though I ought to be allowed to speak about anything I +please." + +"You shall, if it pleases you, my pet." + +"You see how it is, Bell; I can never again have anything of my own to +talk about." + +"Oh, my darling, do not say that." + +"But it is so, Bell; and why not say it? Do you think I never say it to +myself in the hours when I am all alone, thinking over it-thinking, +thinking, thinking. You must not-you must not grudge to let me talk of +it sometimes." + +"I will not grudge you anything-only I cannot believe that it must be +so always." + +"Ask yourself, Bell, how it would be with you. But I sometimes fancy +that you measure me differently from yourself." + +"Indeed I do, for I know how much better you are." + +"I am not so much better as to be ever able to forget all that. I know +I never shall do so. I have made up my mind about it clearly and with +an absolute certainty." + +"Lily, Lily, Lily! pray do not say so." + +"But I do say it. And yet I have not been very mopish and melancholy; +have I, Bell? I do think I deserve some little credit, and yet, I +declare, you won't allow me the least privilege in the world." + +"What privilege would you wish me to give you?" + +"To talk about Dr Crofts." + +"Lily, you are a wicked, wicked tyrant." And Bell leaned over her, and +fell upon her, and kissed her, hiding her own face in the gloom of the +evening. After that it came to be an accepted understanding between +them that Bell was not altogether indifferent to Dr Crofts. + +"You heard what he said, my darling," Mrs Dale said the next day, as +the three were in the room together after Dr Crofts was gone. Mrs Dale +was standing on one side of the bed, and Bell on the other, while Lily +was scolding them both. "You can get up for an hour or two tomorrow, +but he thinks you had better not go out of the room." + +"What would be the good of that, mamma? I am so tired of looking always +at the same paper. It is such a tiresome paper. It makes one count the +pattern over and over again. I wonder how you ever can live here." + +"I've got used to it, you see." + +"I never can get used to that sort of thing; but go on counting, and +counting, and counting. I'll tell you what I should like; and I'm sure +it would be the best thing, too." + +"And what would you like?" said Bell. + +"Just to get up at nine o'clock tomorrow, and go to church as though +nothing had happened. Then, when Dr Crofts came in the evening, you +would tell him I was down at the school." + +"I wouldn't quite advise that," said Mrs Dale. + +"It would give him such a delightful start. And when he found I didn't +die immediately, as of course I ought to do according to rule, he would +be so disgusted." + +"It would be very ungrateful, to say the least of it," said Bell. + +"No, it wouldn't, a bit. He needn't come, unless he likes it. And I +don't believe he comes to see me at all. It's all very well, mamma, +your looking in that way; but I'm sure it's true. And I'll tell you +what I'll do, I'll pretend to be bad again, otherwise the poor man will +be robbed of his only happiness." + +"I suppose we must allow her to say what she likes till she gets well," +said Mrs Dale, laughing. It was now nearly dark, and Mrs Dale did not +see that Bell's hand had crept under the bed-clothes, and taken hold of +that of her sister. "It's true, mamma," continued Lily, "and I defy her +to deny it. I would forgive him for keeping me in bed if he would only +make her fall in love with him." + +"She has made a bargain, mamma," said Bell, "that she is to say +whatever she likes till she gets well." + +"I am to say whatever I like always; that was the bargain, and I mean +to stand to it." + +On the following Sunday Lily did get up, but did not leave her mother's +bedroom. There she was, seated in that half-dignified and +half-luxurious state which belongs to the first getting up of an +invalid, when Dr Crofts called. There she had eaten her tiny bit of +roast mutton, and had called her mother a stingy old creature, because +she would not permit another morsel; and there she had drunk her half +glass of port wine, pretending that it was very bad, and twice worse +than the doctor's physic; and there, Sunday though it was, she had +fully enjoyed the last hour of daylight, reading that exquisite new +novel which had just completed itself, amidst the jarring criticisms of +the youth and age of the reading public. + +"I am quite sure she was right in accepting him, Bell," she said, +putting down the book as the light was fading, and beginning to praise +the story. + +"It was a matter of course," said Bell. "It always is right in the +novels. That's why I don't like them. They are too sweet." + +"That's why I do like them, because they are so sweet. A sermon is not +to tell you what you are, but what you ought to be, and a novel should +tell you not what you are to get, but what you'd like to get." + +"If so, then, I'd go back to the old school, and have the heroine +really a heroine, walking all the way up from Edinburgh to London, and +falling among thieves; or else nursing a wounded hero, and describing +the battle from the window. We've got tired of that; or else the people +who write can't do it nowadays. But if we are to have real life, let it +be real." + +"No, Bell, no," said Lily. "Real life sometimes is so painful." Then +her sister, in a moment, was down on the floor at her feet, kissing her +hand and caressing her knees, and praying that the wound might be +healed. + +On that morning Lily had succeeded in inducing her sister to tell her +all that had been said by Dr Crofts. All that had been said by herself +also, Bell had intended to tell; but when she came to this part of the +story, her account was very lame. "I don't think I said anything," she +said. "But silence always gives consent. He'll know that," Lily had +rejoined. + +"No, he will not; my silence didn't give any consent; I'm sure of that. +And he didn't think that it did." + +"But you didn't mean to refuse him?" + +"I think I did. I don't think I knew what I meant; and it was safer, +therefore, to look no, than to look yes. If I didn't say it, I'm sure I +looked it." + +"But you wouldn't refuse him now?" asked Lily. + +"I don't know," said Bell. "It seems as though I should want years to +make up my mind; and he won't ask me again." + +Bell was still at her sister's feet, caressing them, and praying with +all her heart that that wound might be healed in due time, when Mrs +Dale came in and announced the doctor's daily visit. + +"Then I'll go," said Bell. + +"Indeed you won't," said Lily. "He is coming simply to make a morning +call, and nobody need run away. Now, Dr Crofts, you need not come and +stand over me with your watch, for I won't let you touch my hand except +to shake hands with me;" and then she held her hand out to him." + +"And all you'll know of my tongue you'll learn from the sound." + +"I don't care in the least for your tongue." + +"I dare say not, and yet you may some of these days. I can speak out if +I like it; can't I, mamma?" + +"I should think Dr Crofts knows that by this time, my dear." + +"I don't know. There are some things gentlemen are very slow to learn. +But you must sit down, Dr Crofts, and make yourself comfortable and +polite; for you must understand that you are not master here any +longer. I am out of bed now, and your reign is over." + +"That's the gratitude of the world, all through," said Mrs Dale. + +"Who is ever grateful to a doctor? He only cures you that he may +triumph over some other doctor, and declare, as he goes by Dr Gruffen's +door, 'There, had she called you in, she'd have been dead before now; +or else would have been ill for twelve months.' Don't you jump for joy +when Dr Gruffen's patients die?" + +"Of course I do-out in the market-place, so that everybody shall see +me," said the doctor. + +"Lily, how can you say such shocking things?" said her sister. + +Then the doctor did sit down, and they were all very cosy together over +the fire, talking about things which were not medical, or only half +medical in their appliance. By degrees the conversation came round to +Mrs Eames and to John Eames. Two or three days since Crofts had told +Mrs Dale of that affair at the railway station, of which up to that +time she had heard nothing. Mrs Dale, when she was assured that young +Eames had given Crosbie a tremendous thrashing-the tidings of the +affair which had got themselves substantiated at Guestwick so described +the nature of the encounter-could not withhold some meed of applause. + +"Dear boy!" she said, almost involuntarily. "Dear boy! it came from the +honestness of his heart!" And then she gave special injunctions to the +doctor-injunctions which were surely unnecessary-that no word of the +matter should be whispered before Lily. + +"I was at the manor, yesterday," said the doctor, "and the earl would +talk about nothing but Master Johnny. He says he's the finest fellow +going." Whereupon Mrs Dale touched him with her foot, fearing that the +conversation might be led away in the direction of Johnny's prowess. + +"I am so glad," said Lily. "I always knew that they'd find John out at +last." + +"And Lady Julia is just as fond of him," said the doctor. + +"Dear me!" said Lily. "Suppose they were to make up a match!" + +"Lily, how can you be so absurd?" + +"Let me see; what relation would he be to us? He would certainly be +Bernard's uncle, and Uncle Christopher's half brother-in-law. Wouldn't +it be odd?" + +"It would rather," said Mrs Dale. + +"I hope he'll be civil to Bernard. Don't you, Bell? Is he to give up +the Income-tax Office, Dr Crofts?" + +"I didn't hear that that was settled yet." And so they went on talking +about John Eames. + +"Joking apart," said Lily, "I am very glad that Lord de Guest has taken +him by the hand. Not that I think an earl is better than anybody else, +but because it shows that people are beginning to understand that he +has got something in him. I always said that they who laughed at John +would see him hold up his head yet." All which words sank deep into Mrs +Dale's mind. If only, in some coming time, her pet might be taught to +love this new young hero! But then would not that last heroic deed of +his militate most strongly against any possibility of such love! + +"And now I may as well be going," said the doctor, rising from his +chair. At this time Bell had left the room, but Mrs Dale was still +there. + +"You need not be in such a hurry, especially this evening," said Lily. + +"Why especially this evening?" + +"Because it will be the last. Sit down again, Dr Crofts. I've got a +little speech to make to you. I've been preparing it all the morning, +and you must give me an opportunity of speaking it." + +"I'll come the day after tomorrow, and I'll hear it then." + +"But I choose, sir, that you should hear it now. Am I riot to be obeyed +when I first get up on to my own throne? Dear, dear Dr Crofts, how am I +to thank you for all that you have done?" + +"How are any of us to thank him?" said Mrs Dale. + +"I hate thanks," said the doctor. "One kind glance of the eye is worth +them all, and I've had many such in this house." + +"You have our hearts' love, at any rate," said Mrs Dale. + +"God bless you all!" said he, as he prepared to go. + +"But I haven't made my speech yet," said Lily. "And to tell the truth, +mamma, you must go away, or I shall never be able to make it. It's very +improper, is, it not, turning you out, but it shall only take three +minutes." Then Mrs Dale, with some little joking word, left the room; +but, as she left it, her mind was hardly at ease. Ought she to have +gone, leaving it to Lily's discretion to say what words he might think +fit to Dr Crofts? Hitherto she had never doubted her daughters-not even +their discretion; and therefore it had been natural to her to go when +she was bidden. But as she went downstairs she had her doubts whether +she was right or no. + +"Dr Crofts," said Lily, as soon as they were alone. "Sit down there, +close to me. I want to ask you a question. What was it you said to Bell +when you were alone with her the other evening in the parlour?" + +The doctor sat for a moment without answering, and Lily, who was +watching him closely, could see by the light of the fire that he had +been startled-had almost shuddered as the question was asked him. + +"What did I say to her?" and he repeated her words in a very low voice. + +"I asked her if she could love me, and be my wife." + +"And what answer did she make to you?" + +"What answer did she make? She simply refused me." + +"No, no, no; don't believe her, Dr Crofts. It was not so-I think it was +not so. Mind you, I can say nothing as coming from her. She has not +told me her own mind. But if you really love her, she will be mad to +refuse you." + +"I do love her, Lily; that at any rate is true." + +"Then go to her again. I am speaking for myself now. I cannot afford to +lose such a brother as you would be. I love you so dearly that I cannot +spare you. And she-I think she'll learn to love you as you would wish +to be loved. You know her nature, how silent she is, and averse to talk +about herself. She has confessed nothing to me but this-that you spoke +to her and took her by surprise. Are we to have another chance? I know +how wrong I am to ask such a question. But, after all, is not the truth +the best?" + +"Another chance!" + +"I know what you mean, and I think she is worthy to be your wife. I do, +indeed; and if so, she must be very worthy. You won't tell of me, will +you now, doctor?" + +"No; I won't tell of you." + +"And you'll try again?" + +"Yes; I'll try again." + +"God bless you, my brother! I hope-I hope you'll be my brother." Then, +as he put out his hand to her once more, she raised her head towards +him, and he, stooping down, kissed her forehead. + +"Make mamma come to me," were the last words she spoke as he went out +at the door. + +"So you've made your speech," said Mrs Dale. + +"Yes, mamma." + +"I hope it was a discreet speech." + +"I hope it was, mamma. But it has made me so tired, and I believe I'll +go to bed. Do you know I don't think I should have done much good down +at the school today?" + +Then Mrs Dale, in her anxiety to repair what injury might have been +done to her daughter by over-exertion, omitted any further mention of +the farewell speech. + +Dr Crofts as he rode home enjoyed but little of the triumph of a +successful lover. + +"It may be that she's right," he said to himself; "and, at any rate, +I'll ask again." Nevertheless, that "No" which Bell had spoken, and had +repeated, still sounded in his ears harsh and conclusive. There are men +to whom a peal of noes rattling about their ears never takes the sound +of a true denial, and others to whom the word once pronounced, be it +whispered ever so softly, comes as though it were an unchangeable +verdict from the supreme judgment-seat. + +CHAPTER XLIII + +FIE, FIE! + + +Will any reader remember the loves-no, not the loves; that word is so +decidedly ill-applied as to be incapable of awakening the remembrance +of any reader; but the flirtations-of Lady Dumbello and Mr Plantagenet +Palliser? Those flirtations, as they had been carried on at Courcy +Castle, were laid bare in all their enormities to the eye of the +public, and it must be confessed that if the eye of the public was +shocked, that eye must be shocked very easily. + +But the eye of the public was shocked, and people who were particular +as to their morals said very strange things. Lady de Courcy herself +said very strange things indeed, shaking her head, and dropping +mysterious words; whereas Lady Clandidlem spoke much more openly, +declaring her opinion that Lady Dumbello would be off before May. They +both agreed that it would not be altogether bad for Lord Dumbello that +he should lose his wife, but shook their heads very sadly when they +spoke of poor Plantagenet Palliser. As to the lady's fate, that lady +whom they had both almost worshipped during the days at Courcy +Castle,-they did not seem to trouble themselves about that. + +And it must be admitted that Mr Palliser had been a little +imprudent-imprudent, that is, if he knew anything about the rumours +afloat-seeing that soon after his visit at Courcy Castle he had gone +down to Lady Hartletop's place in Shropshire, at which the Dumbellos +intended to spend the winter, and on leaving it had expressed his +intention of returning in February. The Hartletop people had pressed +him very much-the pressure having come with peculiar force from Lord +Dumbello. Therefore it is reasonable to suppose that the Hartletop +people had at any rate not heard of the rumour. + +Mr Plantagenet Palliser spent his Christmas with his uncle, the Duke of +Omnium, at Gatherum Castle. That is to say, he reached the castle in +time for dinner on Christmas eve, and left it on the morning after +Christmas day. This was in accordance with the usual practice of his +life, and the tenants, dependants, and followers of the Omnium interest +were always delighted to see this manifestation of a healthy English +domestic family feeling between the duke and his nephew. But the amount +of intercourse on such occasions between them was generally trifling. +The duke would smile as he put out his right hand to his nephew, and +say-"Well, Plantagenet-very busy, I suppose?" + +The duke was the only living being who called him Plantagenet to his +face, though there were some scores of men who talked of Planty Pal +behind his back. The duke had been the only living being so to call +him. Let us hope that it still was so, and that there had arisen no +feminine exception, dangerous in its nature and improper in its +circumstances. + +"Well, Plantagenet," said the duke, on the present occasion, "very +busy, I suppose? + +"Yes, indeed, duke," said Mr Palliser. + +"When a man gets the harness on him he does not easily get quit of it." + +The duke remembered that his nephew had made almost the same remark at +his last Christmas visit. +"By-the-by," said the duke, "I want to say a word or two to you before +you go." + +Such a proposition on the duke's part was a great departure from his +usual practice, but the nephew of course undertook to obey his uncle's +behests. + +"I'll see you before dinner tomorrow," said Plantagenet. + +"Ah, do," said the duke. "I'll not keep you five minutes." And at six +o'clock on the following afternoon the two were closeted together in +the duke's private room. + +"I don't suppose there is much in it," began the duke, "but people are +talking about you and Lady Dumbello." + +"Upon my word, people are very kind." And Mr Palliser bethought himself +of the fact-for it certainly was a fact-that people for a great many +years had talked about his uncle and Lady Dumbello's mother-in-law. + +"Yes; kind enough; are they not? You've just come from Hartlebury, I +believe." Hartlebury was the Marquis of Hartletop's seat in Shropshire. + +"Yes, I have. And I'm going there again in February." + +"Ah, I'm sorry for that. Not that I mean, of course, to interfere with +your arrangements. You will acknowledge that I have not often done so, +in any matter whatever." + +"No; you have not," said the nephew, comforting himself with an inward +assurance that no such interference on his uncle's part could have been +possible. + +"But in this instance it would suit me, and I really think it would +suit you too, that you should be as little at Hartlebury as possible. +You have said you would go there, and of course you will go. But if I +were you, I would not stay above a day or two." + +Mr Plantagenet Palliser received everything he had in the world from +his uncle. He sat in Parliament through his uncle's interest, and +received an allowance of ever so many thousand a year which his uncle +could stop tomorrow by his mere word. He was his uncle's heir, and the +dukedom, with certain entailed properties, must ultimately fall to him, +unless his uncle should marry and have a son. But by far the greater +portion of the duke's property was unentailed; the duke might probably +live for the next twenty years or more; and it was quite possible that, +if offended, he might marry and become a father. It may be said that no +man could well be more dependent on another than Plantagenet Palliser +was upon his uncle; and it may be said also that no father or uncle +ever troubled his heir with less interference. Nevertheless, the nephew +immediately felt himself aggrieved by this allusion to his private +life, and resolved at once that he would not submit to such +surveillance. + +"I don't know how long I shall stay," said he; "but I cannot say that +my visit will be influenced one way or the other by such a rumour as +that." + +"No; probably not. But it may perhaps be influenced by my request." And +the duke, as he spoke, looked a little savage. + +"You wouldn't ask me to regard a report that has no foundation." + +"I am not asking about its foundation. Nor do I in the least wish to +interfere with your manner in life." By which last observation the duke +intended his nephew to understand that he was quite at liberty to take +away any other gentleman's wife, but that he was not at liberty to give +occasion even for a surmise that he wanted to take Lord Dumbello's +wife. "The fact is this, Plantagenet. I have for many years been +intimate with that family. I have not many intimacies, and shall +probably never increase them. Such friends as I have, I wish to keep, +and you will easily perceive that any such, report as that which I have +mentioned, might make it unpleasant for me to go to Hartlebury, or for +the Hartlebury people to come here." The duke certainly could not have +spoken plainer, and Mr Palliser understood him thoroughly. Two such +alliances between the two families could not be expected to run +pleasantly together, and even the rumour of any such second alliance +might interfere with the pleasantness of the former one. + +"That's all," said the duke. + +"It's a most absurd slander," said Mr Palliser. + +"I dare say. Those slanders always are absurd; but what can we do? We +can't tie up people's tongues." And the duke looked as though he wished +to have the subject considered as finished, and to be left alone. + +"But we can disregard them," said the nephew, indiscreetly. + +"You may. I have never been able to do so. And yet, I believe, I have +not earned for myself the reputation of being subject to the voices of +men. You think that I am asking much of you; but you should remember +that hitherto I have given much and have asked nothing. I expect you to +oblige me in this matter." + +Then Mr Plantagenet Palliser left the room, knowing that he had been +threatened. What the duke had said amounted to this-If you go on +dangling after Lady Dumbello, I'll stop the seven thousand a year which +I give you. I'll oppose your next return at Silverbridge, and I'll make +a will and leave away from you Matching and The Horns-a beautiful +little place in Surrey, the use of which had been already offered to Mr +Palliser in the event of his marriage; all the Littlebury estate in +Yorkshire, and the enormous Scotch property. Of my personal goods, and +money invested in loans, shares, and funds, you shall never touch a +shilling, or the value of a shilling. And, if I find that I can suit +myself, it may be that I'll leave you plain Mr Plantagenet Palliser, +with a little first cousin for the head of your family. + +The full amount of this threat Mr Palliser understood, and, as he +thought of it, he acknowledged to himself that he had never felt for +Lady Dumbello anything like love. No conversation between them had ever +been warmer than that of which the reader has seen a sample. Lady +Dumbello had been nothing to him. But now-now that the matter had been +put before him in this way, might it not become him, as a gentleman, to +fall in love with so very beautiful a woman, whose name had already +been linked with his own? We all know that story of the priest, who, by +his question in the confessional, taught the ostler to grease the +horses teeth. "I never did yet," said the ostler, "but I'll have a try +at it." In this case, the duke had acted the part of the priest, and Mr +Palliser, before the night was over, had almost become as ready a pupil +as the ostler. As to the threat, it would ill become him, as a Palliser +and a Plantagenet, to regard it. The duke would not marry. Of all men +in the world he was the least likely to spite his own face by cutting +off his own nose; and, for the rest of it, Mr Palliser would take his +chance. Therefore he went down to Hartlebury early in February, having +fully determined to be very particular in his attentions to Lady +Dumbello. + +Among a houseful of people at Hartlebury, he found Lord Porlock, a +slight, sickly, worn-out looking man, who had something about his eye +of his father's hardness, but nothing in his mouth of his father's +ferocity. + +"So your sister's going to be married?" said Mr Palliser. + +"Yes. One has no right to be surprised at anything they do, when one +remembers the life their father leads them." + +"I was going to congratulate you." + +"Don't do that." + +"I met him at Courcy, and rather liked him." + +Mr Palliser had barely spoken to Mr Crosbie at Courcy, but then in the +usual course of his social life he seldom did more than barely speak to +anybody. + +"Did you?" said Lord Porlock. "For the poor girl's sake I hope he's not +a ruffian. How any man should propose to my father to marry a daughter +out of his house, is mere than I can understand. How was my mother +looking?" + +"I didn't see anything amiss about her." + +"I expect that he'll murder her some day." Then that conversation came +to an end. + +Mr Palliser himself perceived-as he looked at her he could not but +perceive-that a certain amount of social energy seemed to enliven Lady +Dumbello when he approached her. She was given to smile when addressed, +but her usual smile was meaningless, almost leaden, and never in any +degree flattering to the person to whom it was accorded. Very many +women smile as they answer the words which are spoken to them, and most +who do so flatter by their smile. The thing is so common that no one +thinks of it. The flattering pleases, but means nothing. The impression +unconsciously taken simply conveys a feeling that the woman has made +herself agreeable, as it was her duty to do-agreeable, as far as that +smile went, in some very infinitesimal degree. But she has thereby made +her little contribution to society. She will make the same contribution +a hundred times in the same evening. No one knows that she has +flattered anybody; she does not know it herself; and the world calls +her an agreeable woman. But Lady Dumbello put no flattery into her +customary smiles. They were cold, unmeaning, accompanied by no special +glance of the eye, and seldom addressed to the individual. They were +given to the room at large; and the room at large, acknowledging her +great pretensions, accepted them as sufficient. But when Mr Palliser +came near to her she would turn herself sIightly ever so slightly, on +her seat, and would allow her eyes to rest for a moment upon his face. +Then when he remarked that it had been rather cold, she would smile +actually upon him as she acknowledged the truth of his observation. All +this Mr Palliser taught himself to observe, having been instructed by +his foolish uncle in that lesson as to the greasing of the horses' +teeth. + +But, nevertheless, during the first week of his stay at Hartlebury, he +did not say a word to her more tender than his observation about the +weather. It is true that he was very busy. He had undertaken to speak +upon the address, and as Parliament was now about to be opened, and as +his speech was to be based upon statistics, he was full of figures and +papers. His correspondence was pressing, and the day was seldom long +enough for his purposes. He felt that the intimacy to which he aspired +was hindered by the laborious routine of his life; but nevertheless he +would do something before he left Hartlebury, to show the special +nature of his regard. He would say something to her, that should open +to her view the secret of-shall we say his heart? Such was his resolve, +day after day. And yet day after day went by, and nothing was said. He +fancied that Lord Dumbello was somewhat less friendly in his manner +than he had been, that he put himself in the way and looked cross; but, +as he declared to himself, he cared very little for Lord Dumbello's +looks. + +"When do you go to town?" he said to her one evening. + +"Probably in April. We certainly shall not leave Hartlebury before +that." + +"Ah, yes. You stay for the hunting." + +"Yes; Lord Dumbello always remains here through March. He may run up to +town for a day or two." + +"How comfortable! I must be in London on Thursday, you know." + +"When Parliament meets, I suppose? + +"Exactly. It is such a bore; but one has to do it." + +"When a man makes a business of it, I suppose he must." + +"Oh, dear, yes; it's quite imperative." Then Mr Palliser looked round +the room, and thought he saw Lord Dumbello's eye fixed upon him. It was +really very hard work. If the truth must be told, he did not know how +to begin. What was he to say to her? How was he to commence a +conversation that should end by being tender? She was very handsome +certainly, and for him she could look interesting; but for his very +life he did not know how to begin to say anything special to her. A +liaison with such a woman as Lady Dumbello-platonic, innocent, but +nevertheless very intimate-would certainly lend a grace to his life, +which, under its present circumstances, was rather dry. He was +told-told by public rumour, which had reached him through his +uncle-that the lady was willing. She certainly looked as though she +liked him; but how was he to begin? The art of startling the House of +Commons and frightening the British public by the voluminous accuracy +of his statistics he had already learned; but what was he to say to a +pretty woman? + +"You'll be sure to be in London in April?" This was on another occasion. + +"Oh, yes; I think so." + +"In Carlton Gardens, I suppose." + +"Yes; Lord Dumbello has got a lease of the house now." + +"Has he, indeed? Ah, it's an excellent house. I hope shall be allowed +to call there sometimes." + +"Certainly-only I know you must be so busy." + +"Not on Saturdays and Sundays." + +"I always receive on Sundays," said Lady Dumbello. Mr Palliser felt +that there was nothing peculiarly gracious in this. A permission to +call when all her other acquaintances would be there, was not much; but +still, perhaps, it was as much as he could expect to obtain on that +occasion. He looked up and saw that Lord Dumbello's eyes were again +upon him, and that Lord Dumbello's brow was black. He began to doubt +whether a country house, where all the people were thrown together, was +the best place in the world for such manoeuvring. Lady Dumbello was +very handsome, and he liked to look at her, but he could not find any +subject on which to interest her in that drawing-room at Hartlebury. +Later in the evening he found himself saying something to her about the +sugar duties, and then he knew that he had better give it up. He had +only one day more, and that was required imperatively for his speech. +The matter would go much easier in London and he would postpone it till +then. In the crowded rooms of London private conversation would be much +easier, and Lord Dumbello wouldn't stand over and look at him. Lady +Dumbello had taken his remarks about the sugar very kindly, and had +asked for a definition of an ad valorem duty. It was a nearer approach +to a real conversation than he had ever before made; but the subject +had been unlucky, and could not, in his hands, be brought round to +anything tender; so he resolved to postpone his gallantry till the +London spring should make it easy, and felt as he did so that he was +relieved for the time from a heavy weight. + +"Good-bye, Lady Dumbello," he said, on the next evening. "I start early +tomorrow morning." + +"Good-bye, Mr Palliser." + +As she spoke she smiled ever so sweetly, but she certainly had not +learned to call him Plantagenet as yet. He went up to London and +immediately got himself to work. The accurate and voluminous speech +came off with considerable credit to himself-credit of that quiet, +enduring kind which is accorded to such men. The speech was +respectable, dull, and correct. Men listened to it, or sat with their +hats over their eyes, asleep, pretending to do so; and the Daily +Jupiter in the morning had a leading article about it, which, however, +left the reader at its close altogether in doubt whether Mr Palliser +might be supposed to be a great financial pundit or no. Mr Palliser +might become a shining light to the moneyed world, and a glory to the +banking interests; he might be a future Chancellor of the Exchequer. +But then again, it might turn out that, in these affairs, he was a mere +ignis fatuus, a blind guide-a man to be laid aside as very respectable, +but of no depth. Who, then, at the present time, could judiciously risk +his credit by declaring whether Mr Palliser understood his subject or +did not understand it? We are not content in looking to our newspapers +for all the information that earth and human intellect can afford; but +we demand from them what we might demand if a daily sheet could come to +us from the world of spirits. The result, of course, is this-that the +papers do pretend that they have come daily from the world of spirits; +but the oracles are very doubtful, as were those of old. + +Plantagenet Palliser, though he was contented with this article, felt, +as he sat in his chambers in the Albany, that something else was +wanting to his happiness. This sort of life was all very well. Ambition +was a grand thing, and it became him, as a Palliser and a future peer, +to make politics his profession. But might he not spare an hour or two +for Amaryllis in the shade? Was it not hard, this life of his? Since he +had been told that Lady Dumbello smiled upon him, he had certainly +thought more about her smiles than had been good for his statistics. It +seemed as though a new vein in his body had been brought into use, and +that blood was running where blood had never run before. If he had seen +Lady Dumbello before Dumbello had seen her, might he not have married +her? Ah! in such case as that, had she been simply Miss Grantly, or +Lady Griselda Grantly, as the case might have been, he thought he might +have been able to speak to her with more ease. As it was, he certainly +had found the task difficult, down in the country, though he had heard +of men of his class doing the same sort of thing all his life. For my +own part, I believe, that the reputed sinners are much more numerous +than the sinners. + +As he sat there, a certain Mr Fothergill came in upon him. Mr +Fothergill was a gentleman who managed most of his uncle's ordinary +affairs-a clever fellow, who knew on which side his bread was buttered. +Mr Fothergill was naturally anxious to stand well with the heir; but to +stand well with the owner was his business in life, and with that +business he never allowed anything to interfere. On this occasion Mr +Fothergill was very civil, complimenting his future possible patron on +his very powerful speech, and predicting for him political power with +much more certainty than the newspapers which had, or had not, come +from the world of spirits. Mr Fothergill had come in to say a word or +two about some matter of business. As all Mr Palliser's money passed +through Mr Fothergill's hands, and as his electioneering interests were +managed by Mr Fothergill, Mr Fothergill not infrequently called to say +a necessary word or two. When this was clone he said another word or +two, which might be necessary or not, as the case might be. + +"Mr Palliser," said he, "I wonder you don't think of marrying. I hope +you'll excuse me." + +Mr Palliser was by no means sure that he would excuse him, and sat +himself suddenly upright in his chair in a manner that was intended to +exhibit a first symptom of outraged dignity. But, singularly enough, he +had himself been thinking of marriage at that moment. How would it have +been with him had he known the beautiful Griselda before the Dumbello +alliance had been arranged? Would he have married her? Would he have +been comfortable if he had married her? Of course he could not marry +now, seeing that he was in love with Lady Dumbello, and that the lady +in question, unfortunately, had a husband of her own; but though he had +been thinking of marrying, he did not like to have the subject thus +roughly thrust before his eyes, and, as it were, into his very lap by +his uncle's agent. Mr Fothergill, no doubt, saw the first symptom of +outraged dignity, for he was a clever, sharp man. But, perhaps, he did +not; in truth much regard it. Perhaps he had received instructions +which he was bound to regard above all other matters. + +"I hope you'll excuse me, Mr Palliser, I do, indeed; but I say it +because I am half afraid of some-some-some diminution of good feeling, +perhaps, I had better call it, between you and your uncle. Anything of +that kind would be such a monstrous pity." + +"I am not aware of any such probability." + +This Mr Palliser said with considerable dignity; but when the words +were spoken he bethought himself whether he had not told a fib. + +"No; perhaps not. I trust there is no such probability. But the duke is +a very determined man if he takes anything into his head-and then he +has so much in his power." + +"He has not me in his power, Mr Fothergill." + +"No, no, no. One man does not have another in his power in this +country-not in that way; but then you know, Mr Palliser, it would +hardly do to offend him; would it?" + +"I would rather not offend him, as is natural. Indeed, I do not wish to +offend any one." + +"Exactly so; and least of all the duke, who has the whole property in +his own hands. We may say the whole, for he can marry tomorrow if he +pleases. And then his life is so good. [don't know a stouter man of his +age, anywhere." + +"I'm very glad to hear it." + +"I'm sure you are, Mr Palliser. But if he were to take offence, you +know?" + +"I should put up with it." + +"Yes, exactly; that's what you would do. But it would be worth while to +avoid it, seeing how much he has in his power." + +"Has the duke sent you to me now, Mr Fothergill? + +"No, no, no-nothing of the sort. But he dropped words the other day +which made me fancy that he was not quite-quite-quite at ease about +you. I have long known that he would be very glad indeed to see an heir +born to the property. The other morning-I don't know whether there was +anything in it-but I fancied he was going to make some change in the +present arrangements. He did not do it, and it might have been fancy. +Only think, Mr Palliser, what one word of his might do! If he says a +word, he never goes back from it." Then, having said so much, Mr +Fothergill went his way. + +Mr Palliser understood the meaning of all this very well. It was not +the first occasion on which Mr Fothergill had given him advice-advice +such as Mr Fothergill himself had no right to give him. He always +received such counsel with an air of half-injured dignity, intending +thereby to explain to Mr Fothergill that he was intruding. But he knew +well whence the advice came; and though, in all such cases, he had made +up his mind not to follow such counsel, it had generally come to pass +that Mr Palliser's conduct had more or less accurately conformed itself +to Mr Fothergill's advice. A word from the duke might certainly do a +great deal! Mr Palliser resolved that in that affair of Lady Dumbello +he would follow his own devices. But, nevertheless, it was undoubtedly +true that a word from the duke might do a great deal! + +We, who are in the secret, know how far Mr Palliser had already +progressed in his iniquitous passion before he left Hartlebury. Others, +who were perhaps not so well informed, gave him credit for a much more +advanced success. Lady Candidly, in her letter to Lady de Courcy, +written immediately after the departure of Mr Palliser, declared that, +having heard of that gentleman's intended matutinal departure, she had +confidently expected to learn at the breakfast-table that Lady Dumbello +had flown with him. From the tone of her ladyship's language, it seemed +as though she had been robbed of an anticipated pleasure by Lady +Dumbello's prolonged sojourn in the halls of her husband's ancestors. +"I feel, however, quite convinced," said Lady Candidly, "that it cannot +go on longer than the spring. I never yet saw a man so infatuated as Mr +Palliser. He did not leave her for one moment all the time he was here. +No one but Lady Hartletop would have permitted it. But, you know, there +is nothing so pleasant as good old family friendships." + +CHAPTER XLIV + +VALENTINE'S DAY AT ALLINGTON + + +Lily had exacted a promise from her mother before her illness, and +during the period of her convalescence often referred to it, reminding +her mother that that promise had been made, and must be kept. Lily was +to be told the day on which Crosbie was to be married. It had come to +the knowledge of them all that the marriage was to take place in +February. But this was not sufficient for Lily. She must know the day. + +And as the time drew nearer-Lily becoming stronger the while, and less +subject to medical authority-the marriage of Crosbie and Alexandrina +was spoken of much more frequently at the Small House. It was not a +subject which Mrs Dale or Bell would have chosen for conversation; but +Lily would refer to it. She would begin by doing so almost in a +drolling strain, alluding to herself as a forlorn damsel in a +play-book; and then she would go on to speak of his interests as a +matter which was still of great moment to her. But in the course of +such talking she would too often break down, showing by some sad word +or melancholy tone how great was the burden on her heart. Mrs Dale and +Bell would willingly have avoided the subject, but Lily would not have +it avoided. For them it was a very difficult matter on which to speak +in her hearing. It was not permitted to them to say a word of abuse +against Crosbie, as to whom they thought that no word of condemnation +could be sufficiently severe; and they were forced to listen to such +excuses for his conduct as Lily chose to manufacture, never daring to +point out how vain those excuses were. + +Indeed, in those days Lily reigned as a queen at the Small House. +Ill-usage and illness together falling into her hands had given her +such power, that none of the other women were able to withstand it. +Nothing was said about it; but it was understood by them all, Jane and +the cook included, that Lily was for the time paramount. She was a +dear, gracious, loving, brave queen, and no one was anxious to +rebel-only that those praises of Crosbie were so very bitter in the +ears of her subjects. The day was named soon enough, and the tidings +came down to Allington. On the fourteenth of February, Crosbie was to +be made a happy man. This was not known to the Dales till the twelfth, +and they would willingly have spared the knowledge then, had it been +possible to spare it. But it was not so, and on that evening Lily was +told. + +During these days, Bell used to see her uncle daily. Her visits were +made with the pretence of taking to him information as to Lily's +health; but there was perhaps at the bottom of them a feeling that, as +the family intended to leave the Small House at the end of March, it +would he well to let the squire know that there was no enmity in their +hearts against him. Nothing more had been said about their +moving-nothing, that is, from them to him. But the matter was going on, +and he knew it. Dr Crofts was already in treaty on their behalf for a +small furnished house at Guestwick. The squire was very sad about +it-very sad indeed. When Hopkins spoke to him on the subject, he +sharply desired that faithful gardener to hold his tongue, giving it to +be understood that such things were not to be made matter of talk by +the Allington dependants till they had been officially announced. With +Bell during these visits he never alluded to the matter. She was the +chief sinner, in that she had refused to marry her cousin, and had +declined even to listen to rational counsel upon the matter. But the +squire felt that he could not discuss the subject with her, seeing that +he had been specially informed by Mrs Dale that his interference would +not be permitted; and then he was perhaps aware that if he did discuss +the subject with Bell, he would not gain much by such discussion. Their +conversation, therefore, generally fell upon Crosbie, and the tone in +which he was mentioned in the Great House was very different from that +assumed in Lily's presence. + +"He'll be a wretched man," said the squire, when he told Bell of the +day that had been fixed. + +"I don't want him to be wretched," said Bell. "But I can hardly think +that he can act as he has done without being punished." + +"He will be a wretched man. He gets no fortune with her, and she will +expect everything that fortune can give. I believe, too, that she is +older than he is. I cannot understand it. Upon my word, I cannot +understand how a man can be such a knave and such a fool. Give my love +to Lily. I'll see her tomorrow or the next day. She's well rid of him; +I'm sure of that-though I suppose it would not do to tell her so." + +The morning of the fourteenth came upon them at the Small House, as +comes the morning of those special days which have been long +considered, and which are to be long remembered. It brought with it a +hard, bitter frost-a black, biting frost-such a frost as breaks the +water-pipes, and binds the ground to the hardness of granite. Lily, +queen as she was, had not yet been allowed to go back to her own +chamber, but occupied the larger bed in her mother's room, her mother +sleeping on a smaller one. + +"Mamma," she said, "how cold they'll be!" Her mother had announced to +her the fact of the black frost, and these were the first words she +spoke. + +"I fear their hearts will be cold also," said Mrs Dale. She ought not +to have said so. She was transgressing the acknowledged rule of the +house in saying any word that could be construed as being inimical to +Crosbie or his bride. But her feeling on the matter was too strong, and +she could not restrain herself. + +"Why should their hearts be cold? Oh, mamma, that is a terrible thing +to say. Why should their hearts be cold?" + +"I hope it may not be so." + +"Of course you do; of course we all hope it. He was not cold-hearted, +at any rate. A man is not cold-hearted, because he does not know +himself. Mamma, I want you to wish for their happiness." + +Mrs Dale was silent for a minute or two before she answered this, but +then she did answer it. "I think I do," said she. "I think I do wish +for it." + +"I am very sure that I do," said Lily. + +At this time Lily had her breakfast upstairs, but went down into the +drawing-room in the course of the morning. + +"You must be very careful in wrapping yourself as you go downstairs," +said Bell, who stood by the tray on which she had brought up the toast +and tea. "The cold is what you would call awful." + +"I should call it jolly," said Lily, "if I could get up and go out. Do +you remember lecturing me about talking slang the day that he first +came? + +"Did I, my pet? + +"Don't you remember, when I called him a swell? Ah, dear! so he was. +That was the mistake, and it was all my own fault, as I had seen it +from the first." + +Bell for a moment turned her face away, and beat with her foot against +the ground. Her anger was more difficult of restraint than was even her +mother's-and now, not restraining it, but wishing to hide it, she gave +it vent in this way. + +"I understand, Bell. I know what your foot means when it goes in that +way; and you shan't do it. Come here, Bell, and let me teach you +Christianity. I'm a fine sort of teacher, am I not? And I did not quite +mean that." + +"I wish I could learn it from some one," said Bell. "There are +circumstances in which what we call Christianity seems to me to be +hardly possible." + +"When your foot goes in that way it is a very unchristian foot, and you +ought to keep it still. It means anger against him, because he +discovered before it was too late that he would not be happy-that is, +that he and I would not be happy together if we were married." + +"Don't scrutinise my foot too closely, Lily." + +"But your foot must bear scrutiny, and your eyes, and your voice. He +was very foolish to fall in love with me. And so was I very foolish to +let him love me, at a moment's notice-without a thought as it were. I +was so proud of having him, that I gave myself up to him all at once, +without giving him a chance of thinking of it. In a week or two it was +done. Who could expect that such an engagement should be lasting?" + +"And why not? That is nonsense, Lily. But we will not talk about it." + +"Ah, but I want to talk about it. It was as I have said. and if so, you +shouldn't hate him because he did the only thing which he honestly +could do when he found out his mistake." + +"What; become engaged again within a week!" + +"There had been a very old friendship, Bell; you must remember that. +But I was speaking of his conduct to me, and not of his conduct to-" +And then she remembered that that other lady might at this very moment +possess the name which she had once been so proud to think that she +would bear herself. "Bell," she said, stopping her other speech +suddenly, "at what o'clock do people get married in London?" + +"Oh, at all manner of hours-any time before twelve. They will be +fashionable, and will be married late." + +"You don't think she's Mrs Crosbie yet, then? + +"Lady Alexandrina Crosbie," said Bell, shuddering. +"Yes, of course; I forgot. I should so like to see here I feel such an +interest about her. I wonder what coloured hair she has. I suppose she +is a sort of Juno of a woman-very tall and handsome. I'm sure she has +not got a pug-nose like me. Do you know what I should really like, only +of course it's not possible-to be godmother to his first child." + +"Oh, Lily!" + +"I should. Don't you hear me say that I know it's not possible? I'm not +going up to London to ask her. She'll have all manner of grandees for +her godfathers and godmothers. I wonder what those grand people are +really like." + +"I don't think there's any difference. Look at Lady Julia." + +"Oh, she's not a grand person. It isn't merely having a title. Don't +you remember that he told us that Mr Palliser is about the grandest +grandee of them all. I suppose people do learn to like them. He always +used to say that he had been so long among people of that sort, that it +would be very difficult for him to divide himself off from them. I +should never have done for that kind of thing; should I?" + +"There is nothing I despise so much as what you call that kind of +thing." + +"Do you? I don't. After all, think how much work they do. He used to +tell me of that. They have all the governing in their hands, and get +very little money for doing it." + +"Worse luck for the country." + +"The country seems to do pretty well. But you're a radical, Bell. My +belief is, you wouldn't be a lady if you could help it." + +"I'd sooner be an honest woman." + +"And so you are-my own dear, dearest, honest Bell-and the fairest lady +that I know. If I were a man, Bell, you are just the girl that I should +worship." + +"But you are not a man; so it's no good." + +"But you mustn't let your foot go astray in that way; you mustn't, +indeed. Somebody said, that whatever is, is right, and I declare I +believe it." + +"I'm sometimes inclined to think, that whatever is, is wrong." + +"That's because you're a radical. I think I'll get up now, Bell; only +it's so frightfully cold that I'm afraid." + +"There's a beautiful fire," said Bell. + +"Yes; I see. But the fire won't go all around me, like the bed does. I +wish I could know the very moment when they're at the altar. It's only +half-past ten yet." + +"I shouldn't be at all surprised if it's over." +"Over! What a word that is! A thing like that is over, and then all the +world cannot put it back again. What if he should be unhappy after all?" + +"He must take his chance," said Bell, thinking within her own mind that +that chance would be a very bad one. + +"Of course he must take his chance. Well-I'll get up now." And then she +took her first step out into the cold world beyond her bed. "We must +all take our chance. I have made up my mind that it will be at +half-past eleven." + +When half-past eleven came, she was seated in a large easy chair over +the drawing-room fire, with a little table by her side, on which a +novel was lying. She had not opened her book that morning, and had been +sitting for some time perfectly silent, with her eyes closed, and her +watch in her hand. + +"Mamma," she said at last, "it is over now, I'm sure." + +"What is over, my dear? + +"He has made that lady his wife. I hope God will bless them, and I pray +that they may be happy." As she spoke these words, there was an +unwonted solemnity in her tone which startled Mrs Dale and Bell. + +"I also will hope so," said Mrs Dale. "And now, Lily, will it not be +well that you should turn your mind away from the subject, and +endeavour to think of other things?" + +"But I can't, mamma. It is so easy to say that; but people can't choose +their own thoughts." + +"They can usually direct them as they will, if they make the effort." + +"But I can't make the effort. Indeed, I don't know why I should. It +seems natural to me to think about him, and I don't suppose it can be +very wrong. When you have had so deep an interest in a person, you +can't drop him all of a sudden." Then there was again silence, and +after a while Lily took up her novel. She made that effort of which her +mother had spoken, but she made it altogether in vain. "I declare, +Bell," she said, "it's the greatest rubbish I ever attempted to read." +This was specially ungrateful, because Bell had recommended the book. +"All the books have got to be so stupid! I think I'll read Pilgrim's +Progress again." + +"What do you say to Robinson Crusoe?" said Bell. + +"Or Paul and Virginia?" said Lily. "But I believe I'll have Pilgrim's +Progress. I never can understand it, but I rather think that makes it +nicer." + +"I hate books I can't understand," said Bell. "I like a book to be +clear as running water, so that the whole meaning may be seen at once." + +"The quick seeing of the meaning must depend a little on the reader, +must it not? "said Mrs Dale. + +"The reader mustn't be a fool, of course," said Bell. +"But then so many readers are fools," said Lily. "And yet they get +something out of their reading. Mrs Crump is always poring over the +Revelations, and nearly knows them by heart. I don't think she could +interpret a single image, but she has a hazy, misty idea of the truth. +That's why she likes it-because it's too beautiful to be understood; +and that's why I like Pilgrim's Progress." After which Bell offered to +get the book in question. + +"No, not now," said Lily. "I'll go on with this, as you say it's so +grand. The personages are always in their tantrums and go on as though +they were mad. Mamma, do you know where they're going for the +honeymoon?" + +"No, my dear." + +"He used to talk to me about going to the lakes." And then there was +another pause, during which Bell observed that her mother's face became +clouded with anxiety. "But I won't think of it any more," continued +Lily; "I will fix my mind to something." And then she got up from her +chair. "I don't think it would have been so difficult if I had not been +ill?" + +"Of course it would not, my darling." + +"And I'm going to be well again now, immediately. Let me see: I was +told to read Carlyle's History of the French Revolution, and I think +I'll begin now." It was Crosbie who had told her to read the book, as +both Bell and Mrs Dale were well aware. "But I must put it off till I +can get it down from the other house." + +"Jane shall fetch it, if you really want it," said Mrs Dale. + +"Bell shall get it, when she goes up in the afternoon; will you, Bell? +And I'll try to get on with this stuff in the meantime." Then again she +sat with her eyes fixed upon the pages of the book. "I'll tell you +what, mamma-you may have some comfort in this: that when today's gone +by, I shan't make a fuss about any other day." + +"Nobody thinks that you are making a fuss, Lily." + +"Yes, but I am. Isn't it odd, Bell, that it should take place on +Valentine's day? I wonder whether it was so settled on purpose, because +of the day. Oh, dear, I used to think so often of the letter that I +should get from him on this day, when he would tell me that I was his +valentine. Well; he's got another-valen-tine-now." So much she said +with articulate voice, and then she broke down, bursting out into +convulsive sobs, and crying in her mother's arms as though she would +break her heart. And yet her heart was not broken, and she was still +strong in that resolve which she had made, that her grief should not +overpower her. As she had herself said, the thing would not have been +so difficult, had she not been weakened by illness. + +"Lily, my darling; my poor, ill-used darling." + +"No, mamma, I won't be that." And she struggled grievously to get the +better of the hysterical attack which had overpowered her. "I won't be +regarded as ill-used; not as specially ill-used. But I am your darling, +your own darling. Only I wish you'd beat me and thump me when I'm such +a fool, instead of pitying me. It's a great mistake being soft to +people when they make fools of themselves. There, Bell; there's your +stupid book, and I won't have any more of it. I believe it was that +that did it." And she pushed the book away from her. +After this little scene she said no further word about Crosbie and his +bride on that day, but turned the conversation towards the prospect of +their new house at Guestwick. + +"It will be a great comfort to be nearer Dr Crofts; won't it, Bell?" + +"I don't know," said Bell. + +"Because if we are ill, he won't have such a terrible distance to come?" + +"That will be a comfort for him, I should think," said Bell, very +demurely. + +In the evening the first volume of the French Revolution had been +procured, and Lily stuck to her reading with laudable perseverance; +till at eight her mother insisted on her going to bed, queen as she was. + +"I don't believe a bit, you know, that the king was such a bad man as +that," she said. + +"I do," said Bell. + +"Ah, that's because you're a radical. I never will believe that kings +are so much worse than other people. As for Charles the First, he was +about the best man in history." + +This was an old subject of dispute; but Lily on the present occasion +was allowed her own way-as being an invalid. + +CHAPTER XLV + +VALENTINE'S DAY IN LONDON + + +The fourteenth of February in London was quite as black, and cold, and +as wintersome as it was at Allington, and was, perhaps, somewhat more +melancholy in its coldness. Nevertheless Lady Alexandrina de Courcy +looked as bright as bridal finery could make her, when she got out of +her carriage and walked into St. James's church at eleven o'clock on +that morning. + +It had been finally arranged that the marriage should take place in +London. There were certainly many reasons which would have made a +marriage from Courcy Castle more convenient. The Dc Courcy family were +all assembled at their country family residence, and could therefore +have been present at the ceremony without cost or trouble. The castle +too was warm with the warmth of life, and the pleasantness of home +would have lent a grace to the departure of one of the daughters of the +house. The retainers and servants were there, and something of the rich +mellowness of a noble alliance might have been felt, at any rate by +Crosbie, at a marriage so celebrated. + +And it must have been acknowledged, even by Lady de Courcy, that the +house in Portman Square was very cold-that a marriage from thence would +be cold-that there could be no hope of attaching to it any honour and +glory, or of making it resound with fashionable clat in the columns of +the Morning Post. But then, had they been married in the country, the +earl would have been there; whereas there was no probability of his +travelling up to London for the purpose of being present on such an +occasion. + +The earl was very terrible in these days, and Alexandrina, as she +became confidential in her communications with her future husband, +spoke of him as of an ogre, who could not by any means be avoided in +all the concerns of life, but whom one might shun now and again by some +subtle device and careful arrangement of favourable circumstances. +Crosbie had more than once taken upon himself to hint that he did not +specially regard the ogre, seeing that for the future he could keep +himself altogether apart from the malicious monster's dominions. + +"He will not come to me in our new home," he had said to his love, with +some little touch of affection. But to this view of the case Lady +Alexandrina had demurred. The ogre in question was not only her parent, +but was also a noble peer, and she could not agree to any arrangement +by which their future connection with the earl, and with nobility in +general, might be endangered. Her parent, doubtless, was an ogre, and +in his ogreship could make himself very terrible to those near him; but +then might it not be better for them to be near to an earl who was an +ogre, than not to be near to any earl at all? She had therefore +signified to Crosbie that the ogre must be endured. + +But, nevertheless, it was a great thing to be rid of him on that happy +occasion. He would have said very dreadful things-things so dreadful +that there might have been a question whether the bridegroom could have +borne them. Since he had heard of Crosbie's accident at the railway +station, he had constantly talked with fiendish glee of the beating +which had been administered to his son-in-law. Lady de Courcy in taking +Crosbie's part, and maintaining that the match was fitting for her +daughter, had ventured to declare before her husband that Crosbie was a +man of fashion, and the earl would now ask, with a loathsome grin, +whether the bridegroom's fashion had been improved by his little +adventure at Paddington. Crosbie, to whom all this was not repeated, +would have preferred a wedding in the country. But the countess and +Lady Alexandrina knew better. + +The earl had strictly interdicted any expenditure, and the countess had +of necessity construed this as forbidding any unnecessary expense. "To +marry a girl without any immediate cost was a thing which nobody could +understand," as the countess remarked to her eldest daughter. + +"I would really spend as little as possible," Lady Amelia had answered. +"You see, mamma, there are circumstances about it which one doesn't +wish to have talked about just at present. There's the story of that +girl-and then that fracas at the station. I really think it ought to be +as quiet as possible." The good sense of Lady Amelia was not to be +disputed, as her mother acknowledged. But then if the marriage were +managed in any notoriously quiet way, the very notoriety of that quiet +would be as dangerous as an attempt at loud glory. "But it won't cost +as much," said Amelia. And thus it had been resolved that the wedding +should be very quiet. + +To this Crosbie had assented very willingly, though he had not relished +the manner in which the countess had explained to him her views. + +"I need not tell you, Adolphus," she had said, "how thoroughly +satisfied I am with this marriage. My dear girl feels that she can be +happy as your wife, and what more can I want? I declared to her and to +Amelia that I was not ambitious, for their sakes, and have allowed them +both to please themselves." + +"I hope they have pleased themselves," said Crosbie. + +"I trust so; but nevertheless-I don't know whether I make myself +understood? + +"Quite so, Lady de Courcy. If Alexandrina were going to marry the +eldest son of a marquis, you would have a longer procession to church +than will be necessary when she marries me." + +"You put it in such an odd way, Adolphus." + +"It's all right so long as we understand each other. I can assure you I +don't want any procession at all. I should be quite contented to go +down with Alexandrina, arm in arm, like Darby and Joan, and let the +clerk give her away." + +We may say that he would have been much better contented could he have +been allowed to go down the street without any encumbrance on his arm. +But there was no possibility now for such deliverance as that. + +Both Lady Amelia and Mr Gazebee had long since discovered the +bitterness of his heart and the fact of his repentance, and Gazebee had +ventured to suggest to his wife that his noble sister-in-law was +preparing for herself a life of misery. + +"He'll become quiet and happy when he's used to it," Lady Amelia had +replied, thinking, perhaps, of her own experiences. + +"I don't know, my dear; he's not a quiet man. There's something in his +eye which tells me that he could be very hard to a woman." + +"It has gone too far now for any change," Lady Amelia had answered. + +"Well; perhaps it has." + +"And I know my sister so well; she would not hear of it. I really think +they will do very well when they become used to each other." + +Mr Gazebee, who also had had his own experiences, hardly dared to hope +so much. His home had been satisfactory to him, because he had been a +calculating man, and having made his calculation correctly was willing +to take the net result. He had done so all his life with success. In +his house his wife was paramount-as he very well knew. But no effort on +his wife's part, had she wished to make such effort, could have forced +him to spend more than two-thirds of his income. Of this she also was +aware, and had trimmed her sails accordingly, likening herself to him +in this respect. But of such wisdom, and such trimmings, and such +adaptability, what likelihood was there with Mr Crosbie and Lady +Alexandrina? + +"At any rate, it is too late now," said Lady Amelia, thus concluding +the conversation. + +But nevertheless, when the last moment came, there was some little +attempt at glory. Who does not know the way in which a lately married +couple's little dinner-party stretches itself out from the pure +simplicity of a fried sole and a leg of mutton to the attempt at clear +soup, the unfortunately cold dish of round balls which is handed about +after the sole, and the brightly red jelly, and beautifully pink cream, +which are ordered, in the last agony of ambition, from the next +pastry-cook's shop? + +"We cannot give a dinner, my dear, with only cook and Sarah." + +It has thus begun, and the husband has declared that he has no such +idea. "If Phipps and Dowdney can come here and eat a bit of mutton, +they are very welcome; if not, let them stay away. And you might as +well ask Phipps's sister; just to have some one to go with you into the +drawing-room." + +"I'd much rather go alone-because then I can read,"-or sleep, we may +say." + +But her husband has explained that she would look friendless, in this +solitary state, and therefore Phipps's sister has been asked. Then the +dinner has progressed down to those costly jellies which have been +ordered in a last agony. There. has been a conviction on the minds of +both of them that the simple leg of mutton would have been more jolly +for them all. Had those round balls not been carried about by a hired +man; had simple mutton with hot potatoes been handed to Miss Phipps by +Sarah, Miss Phipps would not have simpered with such 'unmeaning +stiffness when young Dowdney spoke to her. They would have been much +more jolly. "Have a bit more mutton, Phipps; and where do you like it?" +How pleasant it sounds! But we all know that it is impossible. My young +friend had intended this, but his dinner had run itself away to cold +round balls and coloured forms from the pastrycook. And so it was with +the Crosbie marriage. + +The bride must leave the church in a properly appointed carriage, and +the postboys must have wedding favours. So the thing grew; not into +noble proportions, not into proportions of true glory, justifying the +attempt and making good the gala. A well-cooked rissole, brought +pleasantly to you, is good eating. A gala marriage, when everything is +in keeping, is excellent sport. Heaven forbid that we should have no +gala marriages. But the small spasmodic attempt, made in opposition to +manifest propriety, made with an inner conviction of failure-that +surely should be avoided in marriages, in dinners, and in all affairs +of life. + +There were bridesmaids and there was a breakfast. Both Margaretta and +Rosina came up to London for the occasion, as did also a first cousin +of theirs, one Miss Gresham, a lady whose father lived in the same +county. Mr Gresham had married a sister of Lord de Courcy's, and his +services were also called into requisition. He was brought up to give, +away the bride, because the earl-as the paragraph in the newspaper +declared-was confined at Courcy Castle by his old hereditary enemy, the +gout. A fourth bridesmaid also was procured, and thus there was a bevy, +though not so large a bevy as is now generally thought to be desirable. +There were only three or four carriages at the church, but even three +or four were something. The weather was so frightfully cold that the +light-coloured silks of the ladies carried with them a show of +discomfort. Girls should be very young to look nice in light dresses on +a frosty morning, and the bridesmaids at Lady Alexandrina's wedding +were not very young. Lady Rosina's nose was decidedly red. Lady +Margaretta was very wintry, and apparently very cross. Miss Gresham was +dull, tame, and insipid; and the Honourable Miss O'Flaherty, who filled +the fourth place, was sulky at finding that she had been invited to +take a share in so very lame a performance. + +But the marriage was made good, and Crosbie bore up against his +misfortunes like a man. Montgomerie Dobbs and Fowler Pratt both stood +by him, giving him, let us hope, some assurance that he was not +absolutely deserted by all the world-that he had not given himself up, +bound hand and foot, to the De Courcys, to be dealt with in all matters +as they might please. It was that feeling which had been so grievous to +him-and that other feeling, cognate to it, that if he should ultimately +succeed in rebelling against the De Courcys, he would find himself a +solitary man. + +"Yes; I shall go," Fowler Pratt had said to Montgomerie Dobbs. "I +always stick to a fellow if I can. Crosbie has behaved like a +blackguard, and like a fool also; and he knows that I think so. But I +don't see why I should drop him on that account. I shall go as he has +asked me." + +"So shall I," said Montgomerie Dobbs, who considered that he would be +safe in doing whatever Fowler Pratt did, and who remarked to himself +that after all Crosbie was marrying the daughter of an earl. + +Then, after the marriage, came the breakfast, at which the countess +presided with much noble magnificence. She had not gone to church, +thinking, no doubt, that she would be better able to maintain her good +humour at the feast, if she did not subject herself to the chance of +lumbago in the church. At the foot of the table sat Mr Gresham, her +brother-in-law, who had undertaken to give the necessary toast and make +the necessary speech. The Honourable John was there, saying all manner +of ill-natured things about his sister and new brother-in-law, because +he had been excluded from his proper position at the foot of the table. +But Alexandrina had declared that she would not have the matter +entrusted to her brother. The Honourable George would not come, because +the countess had not asked his wife. + +"Maria may be slow, and all that sort of thing," George had said; "but +she is my wife. And she had got what they haven't. Love me, love my +dog, you know." So he had stayed down at Courcy-very properly as I +think. + +Alexandrina had wished to go away before breakfast, and Crosbie would +not have cared how early an escape had been provided for him; but the +countess had told her daughter that if she would not wait for the +breakfast, there should be no breakfast at all, and in fact no wedding; +nothing but a simple marriage. Had there been a grand party, that going +away of the bride, and bridegroom might be very well; but the countess +felt that on such an occasion as this nothing but the presence of the +body of the sacrifice could give any reality to the festivity. So +Crosbie and Lady Alexandrina Crosbie heard Mr Gresham's speech, in +which he prophesied for the young couple an amount of happiness and +prosperity almost greater than is compatible with the circumstances of +humanity. His young friend Crosbie, whose acquaintance he had been +delighted to make, was well known as one of the rising pillars of the +State. Whether his future career might be parliamentary, or devoted to +the permanent Civil Service of the country, it would be alike great, +noble, and prosperous. As to his dear niece, who was now filling that +position in life which was most beautiful and glorious for a young +woman-she could not have done better. She had preferred genius to +wealth-so said Mr Gresham-and she would find her fitting reward. As to +her finding her fitting reward, whatever her preferences may have been, +there Mr Gresham was no doubt quite right. On that head I myself have +no doubt whatever. After that Crosbie returned thanks, making a much +better speech than nine men do out of ten on such occasions, and then +the thing was over. No other speaking was allowed, and within half an +hour from that time, he and his bride were in the post-chaise, being +carried away to the Folkestone railway station; for that place had been +chosen as the scene of their honeymoon. It had been at one time +intended that the journey to Folkestone should be made simply as the +first stage to Paris, but Paris and all foreign travelling had been +given up by degrees. + +"I don't care a bit about France-we have been there so often," +Alexandrina said. + +She had wished to be taken to Naples, but Crosbie had made her +understand at the first whispering of the word, that Naples was quite +out of the question. He must look now in all things to money. From the +very first outset of his career he must save a shilling wherever a +shilling could be saved. To this view of life no opposition was made by +the De Courcy interest. Lady Amelia had explained to her sister that +they ought so to do their honeymooning that it should not cost more +than if they began keeping house at once. Certain things must be done +which, no doubt, were costly in their nature. The bride must take with +her a well-dressed lady's-maid. The rooms at the Folkestone hotel must +be large, and on the first floor. A carriage must be hired for her use +while she remained; but every shilling must be saved the spending of +which would not make itself apparent to the outer world. Oh, deliver us +from the poverty of those who, with small means, affect a show of +wealth! There is no whitening equal to that of sepulchres whited as +they are whited! + +By the proper administration of a slight bribe Crosbie secured for +himself and his wife a compartment in the railway carriage to +themselves. And as he seated himself opposite to Alexandrina, having +properly tucked her up with all her bright-coloured trappings, he +remembered that he had never in truth been alone with her before. He +had danced with her frequently, and been left with her for a few +minutes between the figures. He had flirted with her in crowded +drawing-rooms, and had once found a moment at Courcy Castle to tell her +that he was willing to marry her in spite of his engagement with Lilian +Dale. But he had never walked with her for hours together as he had +walked with Lily. He had never talked to her about government, and +politics, and books, nor had she talked to him of poetry, of religion, +and of the little duties and comforts of life. He had known the Lady +Alexandrina for the last six or seven years; but he had never known +her-perhaps never would know her-as he had learned to know Lily Dale +within the space of two months. + +And now that she was his wife, what was he to say to her? They two had +commenced a partnership which was to make of them for the remaining +term of their lives one body and one flesh. They were to be all-in-all +to each other. But how was he to begin this all-in-all partnership? Had +the priest, with his blessing, done it so sufficiently that no other +doing on Crosbie's own part was necessary? There she was, opposite to +him, his very actual wife-bone of his bone; and what was he to, say to +her? As he settled himself on his seat, taking over his own knees a +part of a fine fur rug trimmed with scarlet, with which he had covered +her other mufflings, he bethought himself how much easier it would have +been to talk to Lily. And Lily would have been ready with all her ears, +and all her mind, and all her wit, to enter quickly upon whatever +thoughts had occurred to him. In that respect Lily would have been a +wife indeed-a wife that would have transferred herself with quick +mental activity into her husbands mental sphere. Had he begun about his +office Lily would have been ready for him, but Alexandrina had never +yet asked him a single question about his official life. Had he been +prepared with a plan for to-morrows happiness Lily would have taken it +up eagerly, but Alexandrina never cared for such trifles. + +"Are you quite comfortable?" he said, at last. + +"Oh, yes, quite, thank you. By-the-by, what did you do with my +dressing-case?" + +And that question she did ask with some energy. + +"It is under you. You can have it as foot-stool if you like it." + +"Oh, no; I should scratch it. I was afraid that if Hannah had it, it +might be lost." Then again there was silence, and Crosbie again +considered as to what he would next say to his wife. + +We all know the advice given us of old as to what we should do under +such circumstances; and who can be so thoroughly justified in following +that advice as a newly-married husband? So he put out his hand for hers +and drew her closer to him. + +"Take care of my bonnet," she said, as she felt the motion of the +railway carriage when he kissed her. I don't think he kissed her again +till he had landed her and her bonnet safely at Folkestone. How often +would he have kissed Lily, and how pretty would her bonnet have been +when she reached the end of her journey, and how delightfully happy +would she have looked when she scolded him for bending it! But +Alexandrina was quite in earnest about her bonnet; by far too much in +earnest for any appearance of happiness. + +So he sat without speaking, till the train came to the tunnel. + +"I do so hate tunnels," said Alexandrina. + +He had half intended to put out his hand again, under some mistaken +idea that the tunnel afforded him an opportunity. The whole journey was +one long opportunity, had he desired it; but his wife hated tunnels, +and so he drew his hand back again. Lily's little fingers would have +been ready for his touch. He thought of this, and could not help +thinking of it. + +He had The Times newspaper in his dressing-bag. She also had a novel +with her. Would she be offended if he took out the paper and read it? +The miles seemed to pass by very slowly; and there was still another +hour down to Folkestone. He longed for his Times, but resolved at last, +that he would not read unless she read first. She also had remembered +her novel; but by nature she was more patient than he, and she thought +that on such a journey any reading might perhaps be almost improper. So +she sat tranquilly, with her eyes fixed on the netting over her +husband's head. + +At last he could stand it no longer, and he dashed off into a +conversation, intended to be most affectionate and serious. + +"Alexandrina," he said, and his voice was well-tuned for the tender +serious manner, had her ears been alive to such tuning. "Alexandrina, +this is a very important step that you and I have taken today." + +"Yes; it is, indeed," said she. + +"I trust we shall succeed in making each other happy." + +"Yes; I hope we shall." + +"If we both think seriously of it, and remember that that is our chief +duty, we shall do so." + +"Yes, I suppose we shall. I only hope we shan't find the house very +cold. It is so new, and I am so subject to colds in my head. Amelia +says we shall find it very cold; but then she was always against our +going there." + +"The house will do very well," said Crosbie. And Alexandrina could +perceive that there was something of the master in his tone as he spoke. + +"I am only telling you what Amelia said," she replied. + +Had Lily been his bride, and had he spoken to her of their future life +and mutual duties, how she would have kindled to the theme! She would +have knelt at his feet on the floor of the carriage, and, looking up +into his face, would have promised him to do her best-her best-her very +best. And with what an eagerness of inward resolution would she have +determined to keep her promise. He thought of all this now, but he knew +that he ought not to think of it. Then, for some quarter of an hour, he +did take out his newspaper, and she, when she saw him do so, did take +out her novel. + +He took out his newspaper, but he could not fix his mind upon the +politics of the day. Had he not made a terrible mistake? Of what use to +him in life would be that thing of a woman that sat opposite to him? +Had not a great punishment come upon him, and had he not deserved the +punishment? In truth, a great punishment had come upon him. It was not +only that he had married a woman incapable of understanding the higher +duties of married life, but that he himself would have been capable of +appreciating the value of a woman who did understand them. He would +have been happy with Lily Dale; and therefore we may surmise that his +unhappiness with Lady Alexandrina would be the greater. There are men +who, in marrying such as Lady Alexandrina de Courcy, would get the +article best suited to them, as Mortimer Gazebee had done in marrying +her sister. Miss Griselda Grantly, who had become Lady Dumbello, though +somewhat colder and somewhat cleverer than Lady Alexandrina, had been +of the same sort. But in marrying her Lord Dumbello had got the article +best suited to him-if only the ill-natured world would allow him to +keep the article. It was in this that Crosbie's failure had been so +grievous-that he had seen and approved the better course, but had +chosen for himself to walk in that which was worse. During that week at +Courcy Castle-the week which he passed there immediately after his +second visit to Allington-he had deliberately made up his mind that he +was more fit for the bad course than for the good one. The course was +now before him, and he had no choice but to walk in it. + +It was very cold when they got to Folkestone, and Lady Alexandrina +shivered as she stepped into the private-looking carriage which had +been sent to the station for her use. + +"We shall find a good fire in the parlour at the hotel," said Crosbie. + +"Oh, I hope so," said Alexandrina, "and in the bedroom too." + +The young husband felt himself to be offended, but he hardly knew why. +He felt himself to be offended, and with difficulty induced himself to +go through all those little ceremonies the absence of which would have +been remarked by everybody. He did his work, however, seeing to all her +shawls and wrappings, speaking with good-nature to Hannah, and paying +special attention to the dressing-case. + +"What time would you like to dine?" he asked, as he prepared to leave +her alone with Hannah in the bedroom. + +"Whenever you please; only I should like some tea and bread-and-butter +presently." + +Crosbie went into the sitting-room, ordered the tea and +bread-and-butter, ordered also the dinner, and then stood himself up +with his back to the fire, in order that he might think a little of his +future career. + +He was a man who had long since resolved that his life should be a +success. It would seem that all men would so resolve, if the matter +were simply one of resolution. But the majority of men, as I take it, +make no such resolution, and very many men resolve that they will be +unsuccessful. Crosbie, however, had resolved on success, and had done +much towards carrying out his purpose. He had made a name for himself, +and had acquired a certain fame. That, however, was, as he acknowledged +to himself, departing from him. He looked the matter straight in the +face, and told himself that his fashion must be abandoned; but the +office remained to him. He might still rule over Mr Optimist, and make +a subservient slave of Butterwell. That must be his line in life now, +and to that, line he would endeavour to be true. As to his wife and his +home-he would look to them for his breakfast, and perhaps his dinner. +He would have, a comfortable arm-chair, and if Alexandrina should +become a mother he would endeavour to love his children; but above all +things he would never think of Lily. After that he stood and thought of +her for half an hour. + +"If you please, sir, my lady wants to know at what time you have +ordered dinner." + +"At seven, Hannah." + +"My lady says she is very tired, and will lie down till dinnertime." + +"Very well, Hannah. I will go into her room when it is time to dress. I +hope they are making you comfortable downstairs?" + +Then Crosbie strolled out on the pier in the dusk of the cold winter +evening. + +CHAPTER XLVI + +JOHN EAMES AT HIS OFFICE + + +Mr Crosbie and his wife went upon their honeymoon tour to Folkestone in +the middle of February, and returned to London about the end of March. +Nothing of special moment to the interests of our story occurred during +those six weeks, unless the proceedings of the young married couple by +the sea-side may be thought to have any special interest. With regard +to those proceedings I can only say that Crosbie was very glad when +they were brought to a close. All holiday-making is hard work, but +holiday-making with nothing to do is the hardest work of all. At the +end of March they went into their new house, and we will hope that Lady +Alexandrina did not find it very cold. + +During this time Lily's recovery from her illness was being completed. +She had no relapse-nor did anything occur to create a new fear on her +account. But, nevertheless, Dr Crofts gave it as his opinion that it +would be inexpedient to move her into a fresh house at Lady-day. March +is not a kindly month for invalids; and therefore with some regret on +the part of Mrs Dale, with much impatience on that of Bell, and with +considerable outspoken remonstrance from Lily herself, the squire was +requested to let them remain through the month of April. How the squire +received this request, and in, what way he assented to the doctor's +reasoning, will be told in the course of a chapter or two. + +In the meantime John Eames had continued his career in London without +much immediate satisfaction-to himself, or to the lady who boasted to +be his heart's chosen queen. Miss Amelia Roper, indeed, was becoming +very cross and in her ill-temper was playing a game that was tending to +create a frightful amount of hot water in Burton Crescent. She was +devoting herself to a flirtation with Mr Cradell, not only under the +immediate eyes of Johnny Eames, but also under those of Mrs Lupex. John +Eames, the blockhead, did not like it. He was above all things anxious +to get rid of Amelia and her claims; so anxious, that on certain, moody +occasions he would threaten himself with diverse tragical terminations +to his career in London. He would enlist. He would go to Australia. He +would blow out his brains. He would have "an explanation" with Amelia, +tell her that she was a vixen, and proclaim his hatred. He would rush +down to Allington and throw himself in despair at Lily's feet. Amelia, +was the bugbear of his life. Nevertheless, when she flirted with +Cradell, he did not like it, and was ass enough to speak to Cradell +about it. + +"Of course I don't care," he said, "only it seems to me that you are +making a fool of yourself." + +"I thought you wanted to get rid of her." + +"She's nothing on earth to me; only it does, you know-" + +"Does do what?," asked Cradell. + +"Why, if I was to be fal-lalling with that married woman, you wouldn't +like it. That's all about it. Do you mean to marry her?" + +"What!-Amelia?" + +"Yes; Amelia." +"Not if I know it." + +"Then if I were you I would leave her alone. She's only making a fool +of you." + +Eames's advice may have been good, and the view taken by him of +Amelia's proceedings may have been correct; but as regarded his own +part in the affair, he was not wise. Miss Roper, no doubt, wished to +make him jealous; and she succeeded in the teeth of his aversion to her +and of his love elsewhere. He had no desire to say soft things to Miss +Roper. Miss Roper, with all her skill, could not extract a word +pleasantly soft from him one a week. But, nevertheless, soft words to +her and from her in another quarter made him uneasy. Such being the +case, must we not acknowledge that John Eames was still floundering in +the ignorance of his hobbledehoyhood? + +The Lupexes at this time still held their ground in the Crescent, +although repeated warnings to go had been given them. Mrs Roper, though +she constantly spoke of sacrificing all that they owed her, still +hankered, with a natural hankering, after her money. And as each +warning was accompanied by a demand for payment, and usually produced +some slight subsidy on account, the thing went on from week to week; +and at the beginning of April Mr and Mrs Lupex were still boarders at +Mrs Roper's house. + +Eames had heard nothing from Allington since the time of his Christmas +visit, and his subsequent correspondence with Lord de Guest. In his +letters from his mother he was told that game came frequently from +Guestwick Manor, and in this way he knew that he was not forgotten by +the earl. But of Lily he had heard not a word-except, indeed, the +rumour, which had now become general, that the Dale from the Small +House were about to move themselves into Guestwick. When first he +learned this he construed the tidings as favourable to himself, +thinking that Lily, removed from the grandeur of Allington, might +possibly be more easily within his reach; but, latterly, he had given +up any such hope as that, and was telling himself that his friend at +the Manor had abandoned all idea of making up the marriage. Three +months had already elapsed since his visit. Five months had passed +since Crosbie had surrendered his claim. Surely such a knave as Crosbie +might be forgotten in five months! If any steps could have been taken +through the squire, surely three months would have sufficed for them! +It was very manifest to him that there was no ground of hope for him at +Allington, and it would certainly be well for him to go off to +Australia. He would go to Australia, but he would thrash Cradell first +for having dared to interfere with Amelia Roper. That, generally, was, +the state of his mind during the first week in April. + +Then there came to him a letter from the earl which instantly effected +a great change in all his feelings; which taught him to regard +Australia as a dream, and almost put him into a good humour with +Cradell. The earl had by no means lost sight of his friend's interests +at Allington; and, moreover, those interests were now backed by an +ally, who in this matter must be regarded as much more powerful than +the earl. The squire had given in his consent to the Eames alliance. + +The earl's letter was as follows :- + + +GUESTWICK MANOR, April , 18-. + +MY DEAR JOHN-I told you to write to me again, and you haven't done it. +I saw your mother the other day, or else you might have been dead for +anything I knew. A young man always ought to write letters when he is +told to do so. + +[Eames, when he had got so far, felt himself rather aggrieved by this +rebuke, knowing that he had abstained from writing to his patron simply +from an unwillingness to intrude upon him with his letters. "By Jove, +I'll write to him every week of his life, till he's sick of me," Johnny +said to himself when he found himself thus instructed as to a young +man's duties.] + +And now I have got to tell you a long story, and I should like it much +better if you were down here, so that I might save myself the trouble; +but you would think me ill-natured if I were to keep you waiting. I +happened to meet Mr Dale the other day, and he said that he should be +very glad if a certain young lady would make up her mind to listen to a +certain young friend of mine. So I asked him what he meant to do about +the young lady's fortune, and he declared himself willing to give her a +hundred a year during his life, and to settle four thousand pounds upon +her after his death. I said that I would do as much on my part by the +young man; but as two hundred a year, with your salary, would hardly +give you enough to begin with, I'll make mine a hundred and fifty. +You'll be getting up in your office soon, and with five hundred a year +you ought to be able to get along; especially as you need not insure +your life, I should live somewhere near Bloomsbury Square at first, +because I'm told you can get a house for nothing. After all, what's +fashion worth? You can bring your wife down here in the autumn, and +have some shooting. She won't let you go to sleep under the trees, I'll +be bound. + +But you must look after the young lady. You will understand that no one +has said a word to her about it; or, if they have, I don't know it. +You'll find the squire on your side. That's all. Couldn't you manage to +come down this Easter? Tell old Buffle, with my compliments, that I +want you. I'll write to him if you like it. I did know him at one time, +though I can't say I was ever fond of him. It stands to reason that you +can't get on with Miss Lily without seeing her; unless, indeed, you +like better to write to her, which always seems to me to be very poor +sort of fun. You'd much better come down, and go a-wooing in the +regular old-fashioned way. I need not tell you that Lady Julia will be +delighted to see you. You are a prime favourite with her since that +affair at the railway station. She thinks a great deal more about that +than she does about the bull. + +Now, my dear fellow, you know all about it, and I shall take it very +much amiss of you if you don't answer my letter soon. + +Your very sincere friend, + +DE GUEST. + + +When Eames had finished this letter, sitting at his office-desk, his +surprise and elation were so great that he hardly knew where he was or +what he ought to do. Could it be the truth that Lily's uncle had not +only consented that the match should be made, but that he had also +promised to give his niece a considerable fortune? For a, few minutes +it seemed to Johnny as though all obstacles to his happiness were +removed, and that there was no impediment between him and an amount of +bliss of which he had hitherto hardly dared to dream. Then, when he +considered the earl's munificence, he almost cried. He found that he +could not compose his mind to think, or even his hand to write. He did +not know whether it would be right in him to accept such pecuniary +liberality from any living man, and almost thought that he should feel +himself bound to reject the earl's offer. As to the squire's money, +that he knew he might accept. All that comes in the shape of a young +woman's fortune may be taken by any man. + +He would certainly answer the earl's letter, and that at once. He would +not leave the office till he had done so. His friend should have cause +to bring no further charge against him of that kind. And then again he +reverted to the injustice which had been done to him in the matter of +letter-writing- as if that consideration were of moment in such a state +of circumstances as was now existing. But at last his thoughts brought +themselves to the real question at issue. Would Lily Dale accept him? +After all, the realisation of his good fortune depended altogether upon +her feelings; and, as he remembered this, his mind misgave him sorely. +It was filled not only with a young lover's ordinary doubts-with the +fear and trembling incidental to the bashfulness of hobbledehoyhood-but +with an idea that that affair with Crosbie would still stand in his +way. He did not, perhaps, rightly understand all that Lily, had +suffered, but he conceived it to be probable that there had been wounds +which even the last five months might not yet have cured. Could it be +that she would allow him to cure these wounds? As he thought of this he +felt almost crushed to the earth by an indomitable bashfulness and +conviction of his own unworthiness. What had he to offer worthy of the +acceptance of such a girl as Lilian Dale? + +I fear that the Crown did not get out of John Eames an adequate return +for his salary on that day. So adequate, however, had been the return +given by him for some time past, that promotion was supposed throughout +the Income-tax Office to be coming in his way, much to the jealousy of +Cradell, Fisher, and others, his immediate compeers and cronies. And +the place assigned to him by rumour was one which was, generally +regarded as a perfect Elysium upon earth in the Civil Service world. He +was, so rumour. said, to become private secretary to the First +Commissioner. He would be removed by such a change as this from the +large uncarpeted room in which he at present sat; occupying the same +desk with another man to whom he had felt himself to be: ignominiously +bound, as dogs must feel when they are coupled. This room had been the +bear-garden of the office. Twelve or fourteen men sat in it. Large +pewter pots were brought into it daily at one o'clock, giving it an air +that was not aristocratic. The senior of the room, one Mr Love, who was +presumed to have it under his immediate dominion, was a clerk of the +ancient stamp, dull, heavy, unambitious, living out on the farther side +of Islington, and unknown beyond the limits of his office to any of his +younger brethren. He was generally regarded as having given a bad tone +to the room. And then the clerks in this room would not unfrequently be +blown up-with very palpable blowings up-by an official swell, a certain +chief clerk, named Kissing, much higher in standing though younger in +age than the gentleman of whom we have before spoken. He would hurry +in, out of his own neighbouring chamber, with quick step and nose in +the air, shuffling in his office slippers, looking on each occasion as +though there were some cause to fear that the whole Civil Service were +coming to an abrupt termination, and would lay about him with hard +words, which some of those in the big room did not find it very easy to +bear. His hair was always brushed straight up, his eyes were always +very wide open-and he usually carried a big letter-book with him, +keeping, in it a certain place with his finger. This book was almost +too much for his strength, and he would flop it down, now on this man's +desk and now on that man's, and in along career of such floppings had +made himself to be very much hated. On the score of some old grudge he +and Mr Love did not speak to each other; and for this reason, on all +occasions of fault-finding, the blown-up young man would refer Mr +Kissing to his enemy. + +"I know nothing about it," Mr Love would say, not lifting his face from +his desk for a moment. + +"I shall certainly lay the matter before the Board,"-Mr Kissing would +reply, and would then shuffle out of the room with the big book. + +Sometimes Mr Kissing would lay the matter before the Board, and then +he, and Mr Love, and two or three delinquent clerks would be summoned +thither. It seldom led to much. The delinquent clerks would be +cautioned. One Commissioner would say a word in private to Mr Love, and +another a word in private to Mr Kissing. Then, when left alone, the +Commissioners would have their little jokes; saying that Kissing, they +feared, went by favour; and that Love should still be lord of all. But +these things were done in the mild days, before Sir Raffle Buffle came +to the Board. + +There had been some fun in this at first; but of late John Eames had +become tired of it. He disliked Mr Kissing, and the big book out of +which Mr Kissing was always endeavouring to convict him of some +official sin, and had got tired of that joke setting Kissing and Love +by the ears together. When the Assistant Secretary first suggested to +him that Sir Raffle had an idea of selecting him as private secretary, +and when he remembered the cosy little room, all carpeted, with a +leathern arm-chair and a separate washing-stand, which in such case +would be devoted to his use, and remembered also that he would be put +into receipt of an additional hundred a year, and would stand in the +way of still better promotion, he was overjoyed. But there were certain +drawbacks. The present private secretary-who had been private secretary +also to the late First Commissioner-was giving up his Elysium because +he could not endure the tones of Sir Raffle's voice. It was understood +that Sir Raffle required rather more of a private secretary, in the way +of obsequious attendance, than was desirable, and Eames almost doubted +his own fitness for the place. + +"And why should he choose me?" he had asked the Assistant Secretary. + +"Well, we have talked it over together, and I think that he prefers you +to any other that has been named." + +"But he was so very hard upon me about the affair at the railway +station." + +"I think he has heard more about that since; I think that some message +has reached him from your friend, Earl de Guest." + +"Oh, indeed!" said Johnny, beginning to comprehend what it was to have +an earl for his friend. Since his acquaintance with the nobleman had +commenced, he had studiously avoided all mention of the earl's name at +his office; and yet he received almost daily intimation that the fact +was well known there, and not a little considered. + +"But he is so very rough," said Johnny. + +"You can put up with that," said his friend the Assistant Secretary +"His bark is worse than his bite, as you know, and then a hundred a +year is worth having." + +Eames was at that moment inclined to take a gloomy view of life in +general, and was disposed to refuse the place, should it be offered to +him. He had not then received the earl's letter; but now, as he sat +with that letter open before him, lying in the drawer beneath his desk +so that he could still read it as he leaned back in his chair, he was +enabled to look at things in general through a different atmosphere. In +the first place, Lilian Dale's husband ought to have a room to himself, +with a carpet and an arm-chair; and then that additional hundred a year +would raise his income at once to the sum as to which the earl had made +some sort of stipulation. But could he get that leave of absence at +Easter? If he consented to be Sir Raffle's private secretary, he would +make that a part of the bargain. + +At this moment the door of the big room was opened, and Mr Kissing +shuffled in with very quick little steps. He shuffled in, and coming +direct up to John's desk, flopped his ledger down upon it before its +owner had had time to close the drawer which contained the precious +letter. + +"What have you got in that drawer, Mr Eames?" + +"A private letter, Mr Kissing." + +"Oh-a private letter!" said Mr Kissing, feeling strongly convinced +there was a novel hidden there, but not daring to express his belief. +"I have been half the morning, Mr Eames, looking for this letter to the +Admiralty, and you've put it under S!" A bystander listening to Mr +Kissing's tone would have been led to believe that the whole Income-tax +Office was jeopardised by the terrible iniquity thus disclosed. + +"Somerset House," pleaded Johnny. + +"Psha-Somerset House! Half the offices in London-" + +"You'd better ask Mr Love," said Eames. "It's all done under his +special instructions." Mr Kissing looked at Mr Love; and Mr Love looked +steadfastly at his desk. "Mr Love knows all about the indexing," +continued Johnny. "He's index master general to the department." + +"No, I'm not, Mr Eames," said Mr Love, who rather liked John Eames, and +hated Mr Kissing with his whole heart. "But I believe the indexes, on +the whole, are very well done in this room. Some people don't know how +to find letters." + +"Mr Eames," began Mr Kissing, still pointing with a finger of bitter +reproach to the misused S, and. beginning an oration which was intended +for the benefit of the whole room, and for the annihilation of old Mr +Love, "if you have yet to learn that the word Admiralty begins with A +and not with S, you have much to learn which should have been acquired +before you first came into this office. Somerset House is not a +department." Then he turned round to the room at large, and repeated +the last words, as though they might become very useful if taken well +to heart-"Is not a department. The Treasury is a department; the Home +Office is a department; the India Board is a department-" + +"No, Mr Kissing, it isn't," said a young clerk from the other end of +the room. + +"You know very well what I mean, sir. The India Office is a department." + +"There's no Board, sir." + +"Never mind; but how any gentleman who has been in the service three +months-not to say three years-can suppose Somerset House to be a +department, is beyond my comprehension. If you have been improperly +instructed-" + +"We shall know all about it another time," said Eames. "Mr Love will +make a memorandum of it." + +"I shan't do anything of the kind," said Mr Love. + +"If you have been wrongly instructed-" Mr Kissing began again, stealing +a glance at Mr Love as he did so; but at this moment the door was again +opened, and a messenger summoned Johnny to the presence of the really +great man. "Mr Eames to wait upon Sir Raffle." Upon hearing this Johnny +immediately started, and left Mr Kissing and the big book in possession +of his desk. How the battle was waged, and how it raged in the large +room, we cannot stop to hear, as it is necessary that we should follow +our hero into the presence of Sir Raffle Buffle. + +"Ah, Eames-yes," said Sir Raffle, looking up from his desk when the +young man entered; "just wait half a minute, will you?" And the knight +went to work at his papers, as though fearing that any delay in what he +was doing might be very prejudicial to the nation at large. "Ah, +Eames-well-yes," he said again, as he pushed away from him, almost with +a jerk, the papers on which he had been writing. "They tell me that you +know the business of this office pretty well." + +"Some of it, sir," said Eames. + +"Well, yes; some of it. But you'll have to understand the whole of it +if you come to me. And you must be very sharp about it too. You know +that FitzHoward is leaving me?" + +"I have heard of it, sir." + +"A very excellent young man, though perhaps not-. But we won't mind +that. The work is a little too much for him, and he's going back into +the office. I believe Lord de Guest is a friend of yours; isn't he?" + +"Yes; he is a friend of mine, certainly. He's been very kind to me." + +"Ah, well. I've known the earl for many years-for very many years; and +intimately at one time. Perhaps you may have heard him mention my name?" + +"Yes, I have, Sir Raffle." + +"We were intimate once, but those things go off, you know. He's been +the country mouse and I've been the town mouse. Ha, ha, ha! You may +tell him that I say so. He won't mind that coming from me." + +"Oh, no; not at all," said Eames. + +"Mind you tell him when you see him. The earl is a man for whom I've +always had a great respect-a very great respect-I may say regard. And +now, Eames, what do you say to taking FitzHoward's place? The work is +hard. It is fair that I should tell you that. The work will, no doubt, +be very hard. I take a greater share of what's going than my +predecessors have done; and I don't mind telling you that I have been +sent here, because a man was wanted who would do that." The voice of +Sir Raffle, as he continued, became more and more harsh, and Eames +began to think how wise FitzHoward had been "I mean to do my duty, and +I shall expect that my private secretary will do his. But, Mr Eames, I +never forget a man. Whether he be good or bad, I never forget a man. +You don't dislike late hours, I suppose." + +"Coming late to the office you mean? Oh, no, not in the least." + +"Staying late-staying late. Six or seven o'clock if necessary-putting +your shoulder to the wheel when the coach gets into the mud. That's +what I've been doing all my life. They've known what I am very well. +They've always kept me for the heavy roads. If they paid, in the Civil +Service, by the hour, I believe I should have drawn a larger income +than any man in it. If you take the vacant chair in the next room +you'll find it's no joke. It's only fair that I should tell you that." + +"I can work as hard as any man," said Eames. + +"That's right. That's right. Stick to that and I'll stick to you. It +will be a great gratification to me to have by me a friend of my old +friend De Guest. Tell him I say so. And now you may as well get into +harness at once. FitzHoward is there. You can go in to him, and at +half-past four exactly I'll see you both. I'm very exact, mind-very-and +therefore you must be exact." Then Sir Raffle looked as though he +desired to be left alone. + +"Sir Raffle, there's one favour I want to ask of you," said Johnny. + +"And what's that?" + +"I am most anxious to be absent for a fortnight or three weeks, just at +Easter. I shall want to go in about ten days." + +"Absent for three weeks at Easter, when the parliamentary work is +beginning! That won't do for a private secretary." + +"But it's very important, Sir Raffle." + +"Out of the question, Eames; quite out of the question." + +"It's almost life and death to me." + +"Almost life and death. Why, what are you going to do?" With all his +grandeur and national importance, Sir Raffle would be very curious as +to little people. + +"Well, I can't exactly tell you, and I'm not quite sure myself." + +"Then don't talk nonsense. It's impossible that I should spare my +private secretary just at that time of the year. I couldn't do it. The +service won't admit of it. You're not entitled to leave at that season. +Private secretaries always take their leave in the autumn." + +"I should like to be absent in the autumn too, but-" + +"It's out of the question, Mr Eames." + +Then John Eames reflected that it behoved him in such an emergency to +fire off his big gun. He had a great dislike to firing this big gun +but, as he said to himself, there are occasions which make a big gun +very necessary. "I got a letter from Lord de Guest this morning, +pressing me very much to go to him at Easter. It's about business," +added Johnny. "If there was any difficulty, he said, he should write to +you." + +"Write to me," said Sir Raffle, who did not like to be approached too +familiarly in his office, even by an earl. + +"Of course I shouldn't tell him to do that. But, Sir Raffle, if I +remained out there, in the office," and Johnny pointed towards the big +room with his head, "I could choose April for my month. And as the +matter is so important to me, and to the earl-" + +"What can it be?" said Sir Raffle. + +"It's quite private," said John Eames. + +Hereupon Sir Raffle became very petulant, feeling that a bargain was +being made with him. This young man would only consent to become his +private secretary upon certain terms! "Well; go in to FitzHoward now. I +can't lose all my day in this way." + +"But I shall be able to get away at Easter?" + +"I don't know. We shall see about it. But don't stand talking there +now." Then John Eames went into FitzHoward's room, and received that +gentleman's congratulations on his appointment. "I hope you like being +rung for, like a servant, every minute, for he's always ringing that +bell. And he'll roar at you till you're deaf. You must give up all +dinner engagements, for though there is not much to do, he'll never let +you go. I don't think anybody ever asks him out to dinner, for he likes +being here till seven. And you'll have to write all manner of lies +about big people. And, sometimes, when he has sent Rafferty out about +his private business, he'll ask you to bring him his shoes." Now +Rafferty was the First Commissioner's messenger. + +It must be remembered, however, that this little account was given by +an outgoing and discomfited private secretary. "A man is not asked to +bring another man his shoes," said Eames to himself, "until he shows +himself fit for that sort of business." Then he made within his own +breast a little resolution about Sir Raffle's shoes. + +CHAPTER XLVII + +THE NEW PRIVATE SECRETARY + + +INCOME-TAX OFFICE, April 8, 18-. + +MY DEAR LORD DE GUEST-I hardly know how to answer your letter, it is so +very kind-more than kind. And about not writing before-I must explain +that I have not liked to trouble you with letters. I should have seemed +to be encroaching if I had written much. Indeed it didn't come from not +thinking about you. And first of all, about the money-as to your offer, +I mean. I really feel that I do not know what I ought to say to you +about it, without appearing to be a simpleton. The truth is, I don't +know what I ought to do, and can only trust to you not to put me wrong. +I have an idea that a man ought not to accept a present of money, +unless from his father, or somebody like that. And the sum you mention +is so very large that it makes me wish you had not named it. If you +choose to be so generous, would it not be better that you should leave +it me in your will? + +"So that he might always want me to be dying," said Lord de Guest, as +he read the letter out loud to his sister. + +"I'm sure he wouldn't want that," said Lady Julia. "But you may live +for twenty-five years, you know." + +"Say fifty," said the earl. And then he continued the reading of his +letter. + +But all that depends so much upon another person, that it is hardly +worth while talking about it. Of course I am very much obliged to Mr +Dale-very much indeed-and I think that he is behaving very handsomely +to his niece. But whether it will do me any good, that is quite another +thing. However, I shall certainly accept your kind invitation for +Easter, and find out whether I have a chance or not. I must tell you +that Sir Raffle Buffle has made me his private secretary, by which I +get a hundred a year. He says he was a great crony of yours many years +ago, and seems to like talking about you very much. You will understand +what all that means. He has sent you ever so many messages, but I don't +suppose you will care to get them. I am to go to him to-morrow and from +all I hear I shall have a hard time of it. + +"By George, he will," said the earl. "Poor fellow!" + +"But I thought a private secretary never had anything to do," said Lady +Julia. + +"I shouldn't like to be private secretary to Sir Raffle, myself. But +he's young, and a hundred a year is a great thing. How we all of us +used to hate that man. His voice sounded like a bell with a crack in +it. We always used to be asking for some one to muffle the Buffle. They +call him Huffle Scuffle at his office. Poor Johnny!" Then he finished +the letter:- + +I told him that I must have leave of absence at Easter, and he at first +declared that it was impossible. But I shall carry my point about that. +I would not stay away to be made private secretary to the Prime +Minister; and yet I almost feel that I might as well stay away for any +good that I shall do. + +Give my kind regards to Lady Julia, and tell her how very much obliged +to her I am. I cannot express the gratitude which I owe to you. But +pray believe me, my dear Lord de Guest, always very faithfully yours, + +JOHN EAMES. + +It was late before Eames had finished his letter. He had been making +himself ready for his exodus from the big room, and preparing his desk +and papers for his successor. About half-past five Cradell came up to +him, and suggested that they should walk home together. + +"What! you here still?" said Eames. "I thought you always went at +four." Cradell had remained, hanging about the office, in order that he +might walk home with the new private secretary. But Eames did not +desire this. He had much of which he desired to think alone, and would +fain have been allowed to walk by himself. + +"Yes; I had things to do. I say, Johnny, I congratulate you most +heartily; I do, indeed." + +"Thank you, old fellow!" + +"It is such a grand thing, you know. A hundred a year all at once! And +then such a snug room to yourself-and that fellow, Kissing, never can +come near you. He has been making himself such a beast all day. But, +Johnny, I always knew you'd come to something more than common. I +always said so." + +"There's nothing uncommon about this; except that Fitz says that old +Ruffle Scuffle makes himself uncommon nasty." + +"Never mind what Fitz says. It's all jealousy. You'll have it all your +own way, if you look sharp. I think you always do have it all your own +way. Are you nearly ready?" + +"Well-not quite. Don't wait for me, Caudle." + +"Oh, I'll wait. I don't mind waiting. They'll keep dinner for us if we +both stay. Besides, what matters? I'd do more than that for you." + +"I have some idea of working on till eight, and having a chop sent in," +said Johnny. "Besides-I've got somewhere to call, by myself." + +Then Cradell almost cried. He remained silent for two or three minutes, +striving to master his emotion; and at last, when he did speak, had +hardly succeeded in doing so. "Oh, Johnny," he said, "I know what that +means. You are going to throw me over because you are getting up in the +world. I have always stuck to you, through everything; haven't I?" + +"Don't make yourself a fool, Caudle." + +"Well; so I have. And if they had made me private secretary, I should +have been just the same to you as ever. You'd have found no change in +me." + +"What a goose you are. Do you say I'm changed, because I want to dine +in the city?" + +"It's all because you don't want to walk home with me, as we used to +do. I'm not such a goose but what I can see. But, Johnny-I suppose I +mustn't call you Johnny, now." + +"Don't be such a-con-founded-" Then Eames got up, and walked about the +room. "Come along," said he, I don't care about staying, and don't mind +where I dine." And he bustled away with his hat and gloves, hardly +giving Cradell time to catch him before he got out into the streets. "I +tell you what it is, Caudle," said he, "all that kind of thing is +disgusting." + +"But how would you feel," whimpered Cradell, who had never succeeded in +putting himself quite on a par with his friend, even in his own +estimation, since that glorious victory at the railway station. If he +could only have thrashed Lupex as Johnny had thrashed Crosbie; then +indeed they might have been equal-a pair of heroes. But he had not done +so. He had never told himself that he was a coward, but he considered +that circumstances had been specially unkind to him. "But how would you +feel," he whimpered, "if the friend whom you liked better than anybody +else in the world, turned his back upon you?" + +"I haven't turned my back upon you; except that I can't get you to walk +fast enough. Come along, old fellow, and don't talk confounded +nonsense. I hate all that kind of thing. You never ought to suppose +that a man will give himself airs, but wait till he does. I don't +believe I shall remain with old Scuffles above a month or two. From all +that I can hear that's as much as any one can bear." + +Then Cradell by degrees became happy and cordial, and during the whole +walk flattered Eames with all the flattery of which he was master. And +Johnny, though he did profess himself to be averse to "all that kind of +thing," was nevertheless open to flattery. When Cradell told him that +though FitzHoward could not manage the Tartar knight, he might probably +do so; he was inclined to believe what Cadell said. "And as to getting +him his shoes," said Cradell, "I don't suppose he'd ever think of +asking you to do such a thing, unless he was in a very great hurry, or +something of that kind." + +"Look here, Johnny," said Cradell, as they got into one of the streets +bordering on Burton Crescent, "you know the last thing in the world I +should like to do would be to offend you." + +"All right, Caudle," said Eames, going on, whereas his companion had +shown a tendency towards stopping. + +"Look here, now; if I have vexed you about Amelia Roper, I'll make you +a promise never to speak to her again." + +"D-- Amelia Roper," said Eames, suddenly stopping himself and stopping +Cradell as well. The exclamation was made in a deep angry voice which +attracted the notice of one or two who were passing. Johnny was very +wrong-wrong to utter any curse-very wrong to ejaculate that curse +against a human being; and especially wrong to fulminate it against a +woman-a woman whom he had professed to love! But he did do so, and I +cannot tell my story thoroughly without repeating the wicked word. + +Cradell looked up at him and stared. "I only meant to say," said +Cradell, "I'll do anything you like in the matter." + +"Then never mention her name to me again. And as to talking to her, you +may talk to her till you're both blue in the face, if you please." + +"Oh-I didn't know. You didn't seem to like it the other day." + +"I was a fool the other day-a confounded fool. And so I have been all +my life. Amelia Roper! Look here, Caudle; if she makes up to you this +evening, as I've no doubt she will, for she seems to be playing that +game constantly now, just let her have her fling. Never mind me; I'll +amuse myself with Mrs Lupex, or Miss Spruce." + +"But there'll be the deuce to pay with Mrs Lupex. She's as cross as +possible already whenever Amelia speaks to me. You don't know what a +jealous woman is, Johnny." Cradell had got upon what he considered to +be his high ground. And on that he felt himself equal to any man. It +was no doubt true that Eames had thrashed a man, and that he had not; +it was true also that Eames had risen to very high place in the social +world, having become a private secretary; but for a dangerous, +mysterious, overwhelming, life-enveloping intrigue-was not he the +acknowledged hero of such an affair? He had paid very dearly, both in +pocket and in comfort, for the blessing of Mrs Lupex's society; but he +hardly considered that he had paid too dearly. There are certain +luxuries which a man will find to be expensive; but, for all that, they +may be worth their price. Nevertheless as he went up the steps of Mrs +Roper's house he made up his mind that he would oblige his friend, The +intrigue might in that way become more mysterious, and more +life-enveloping; whereas it would not become more dangerous, seeing +that Mr Lupex could hardly find himself to be aggrieved by such a +proceeding. + +The whole number of Mrs Roper's boarders were assembled at dinner that +day. Mr Lupex seldom joined that festive board, but on this occasion he +was present, appearing from his voice and manner to be in high +good-humour. Cradell had communicated to the company in the +drawing-room the great good fortune which had fallen upon his friend, +and Johnny had thereby become the mark of a certain amount of +hero-worship. + +"Oh, indeed!" said Mrs Roper. "An 'appy woman your mother will be when +she hears it. But I always said you'd come down right side uppermost." + +"Handsome is as handsome does," said Miss Spruce. + +"Oh, Mr Eames!" exclaimed Mrs Lupex, with graceful enthusiasm, "I wish +you joy from the very depth of my heart. It is such an elegant +appointment." + +"Accept the hand of a true and disinterested friend," said Lupex. And +Johnny did accept the hand, though it was very dirty and stained all +over with paint. + +Amelia stood apart and conveyed her congratulations by glance-or, I +might better say, by a series of glances. "And now-now will you not be +mine," the glances said; "now that you are rolling in wealth and +prosperity? "And then before they went downstairs she did whisper one +word to him. "Oh, I am so happy, John-so very happy." + +"Bother!" said Johnny, in a tone quite loud enough to reach the lady's +ear. Then making his way round the room, he gave his arm to Miss +Spruce. Amelia, as she walked downstairs alone, declared to herself +that she would wring his heart. She had been employed in wringing it +for some days past, and had been astonished at her own success. It had +been clear enough to her that Eames had been piqued by her overtures to +Cradell, and she had therefore to play out that game. + +"Oh, Mr Cradell," she said, as she took her seat next to him. "The +friends I like are the friends that remain always the same. I hate your +sudden rises. They do so often make a man upsetting." + +"I should like to try, myself, all the same," said Cradell. + +"Well, I don't think it would make any difference in you; I don't +indeed. And, of course, your time will come. too. It's that earl as has +done it-he that was worried by the bull. Since we have known an earl we +have been so mighty fine." And Amelia gave her head a little toss, and +then smiled archly, in a manner which, to Cradell's eyes, was really +very becoming. But he saw that Mrs Lupex was looking at him from the +other side of the table, and he could not quite enjoy the goods which +the gods had provided for him. + +When the ladies left the dining-room Lupex and the two young men drew +their chairs near the fire, and each prepared for himself a moderate +potation. Eames made a. little, attempt at leaving the room, but he was +implored by Lupex with such earnest protestations of friendship to +remain, and was so weakly fearful of being charged with giving himself +airs, that he did as he was desired. + +"And here, Mr Eames, is to your very good health," said Lupex, raising +to his mouth a steaming goblet of gin-and-water, and wishing you many +years to enjoy your official prosperity." + +"Thank ye," said Eames. "I don't know much about the prosperity, but +I'm just as much obliged." + +"Yes, sir; when I see a young man of your age beginning to rise in the +world, I know he'll go on. Now look at me, Mr Eames. Mr Cradell, here's +your very good health, and may all unkindness be drowned in the flowing +bowl. Look at me, Mr Eames. I've never risen in the world. I've never +done any good in the world, and never shall." + +"Oh, Mr Lupex, don't say that." + +"Ah, but I do say it. I've always been pulling the devil by the tail, +and never yet got as much as a good hold on to that. And I'll tell you +why; I never got a chance when I was young. If I could have got any big +fellow, a star, you know, to let me paint his portrait when I was your +age-such a one, let us say, as your friend Sir Raffle-" + +"What a star!" said Cradell. + +"Well, I suppose he's pretty much known in the world, isn't he? Or Lord +Derby, or Mr Spurgeon. You know what I mean. If I'd got such a chance +as that when I was young, I should never have been doing jobs of +scene-painting at the minor theatres at so much a square yard. You've +got the chance now, but I never had it." + +Whereupon Mr Lupex finished his first measure of gin-and-water. + +"It's a very queer thing-life is," continued Lupex; and, though he did +not at once go to work boldly at the mixing of another glass of toddy, +he began gradually, and as if by instinct, to finger the things which +would be necessary for that operation. "A very queer thing. Now, +remember, young gentlemen, I'm not denying that success in life will +depend upon good conduct-of course it does; but, then, how often good +conduct comes from success! Should I have been what I am now, do you +suppose, if some big fellow had taken me by the hand when I was +struggling to make an artist, of myself? I could have drunk claret and +champagne just as well as gin-and-water, and worn ruffles to my shirt +as gracefully as many a fellow who used to be very fond of me, and now +won't speak to me if he meets me in the streets. I never got a +chance-never." + +"But it's not too late yet, Mr Lupex," said Eames. + +"Yes, it is, Eames-yes, it is." And now Mr Lupex had grasped the +gin-bottle. "It's too late now. The game's over, and the match is lost. +The talent is here. I'm as sure of that now as ever I was. I've never +doubted my own ability-never for a moment. There are men this very day +making a thousand a year off their easels who haven't so good and true +an eye in drawing as I have, or so good a feeling in colours. I could +name them; only I won't." + +"And why shouldn't you try again?" said Eames. + +"If I were to paint the finest piece that ever delighted the eye of +man, who would come and look at it? Who would have enough belief in me +to come as far as this place and see if it were true? No, Eames; I know +my own position and my own ways, and I know my own weakness. I couldn't +do a day's work now, unless I were certain of getting a certain number +of shillings at the end of it. That's what a man comes to when things +have gone against him." + +"But I thought men got lots of money by scene-painting?" + +"I don't know what you may call lots, Mr Cradell; I don't call it lots. +But I'm not complaining. I know who I have to thank; and if ever I blow +my own brains out I shan't be putting the blame on the wrong shoulders. +If you'll take my advice,"-and now he turned round to Eames-"you'll +beware of marrying too soon in life." + +"I think a man should marry early, if he marries well," said Eames. + +"Don't misunderstand me," continued Lupex. "It isn't about Mrs L. I'm +speaking. I've always regarded my wife as a very fascinating woman." + +"Hear, hear, hear!" said Cradell, thumping the table. + +"Indeed she is," said Eames. + +"And when I caution you against marrying, don't you misunderstand me. +I've never said a word against her to any man, and never will. If a man +don't stand by his wife, whom will he stand by? I blame no one but +myself. But I do say this; I never had a chance-I never had a +chance-never had a chance." And as he repeated the words, for the third +time, his lips were already fixed to the rim of his tumbler. + +At this moment the door of the dining-room: was opened, and Mrs Lupex +put in her head. + +"Lupex," she said, "what are you doing?" + +"Yes, my dear. I can't say I'm doing anything at the present moment. I +was giving a little advice to these young gentlemen." + +"Mr Cradell, I wonder at you. And, Mr Eames, I wonder at you, too-in +your position! Lupex, come upstairs at once." She then stepped into the +room and secured the gin-bottle. + +"Oh, Mr Cradell, do come here," said Amelia, in her liveliest tone, as +soon as the men made their appearance above. "I've been waiting for you +this half-hour. I've got such a puzzle for you." And she made way for +him to a chair which was between herself and the wall. Cradell looked +half afraid of his fortunes as he took the proffered seat; but he did +take it, and was soon secured from any positive physical attack by the +strength and breadth of Miss Roper's crinoline. + +"Dear me! Here's a change," said Mrs Lupex, out loud. +Johnny Eames was standing close, and whispered into her ear, "Changes +are so pleasant sometimes! Don't you think so? I do." + +CHAPTER XLVIII + +NEMESIS + + +Crosbie had now settled down to the calm realities of married life, and +was beginning to think that the odium was dying away which for a week +or two had attached itself to him, partly on account of his usage of +Miss Dale, but more strongly in consequence of the thrashing which he +had received from John Eames. Not that he had in any way recovered his +former tone of life, or that he ever hoped to do so. But he was able to +go in and out of his club without embarrassment. He could talk with his +wonted voice, and act with his wonted authority at his office. He could +tell his friends, with some little degree of pleasure in the sound, +that Lady Alexandrina would be very happy to see them. And he could +make himself comfortable in his own chair after dinner, with his +slippers and his newspaper. He could make himself comfortable, or at +any rate could tell his wife that he did so. + +It was very dull. He was obliged to acknowledge to himself, when he +thought over the subject, that the life which he was leading was dull. +Though he could go into his club without annoyance, nobody there ever +thought of asking him to join them at dinner. It was taken for granted +that he was going to dine at home; and in the absence of any +provocation to the contrary, he always did dine at home. He had now +been in his house for three weeks, and had been asked with his wife to +a few bridal dinner-parties, given chiefly by friends of the De Courcy +family. Except on such occasions he never passed an evening out of his +own house, and had not yet, since his marriage, dined once away from +his wife. He told himself that his good conduct in this respect was the +result of his own resolution; but, nevertheless, he felt that there was +nothing else left, for him to do. Nobody asked him to go to the +theatre. Nobody begged him to drop in of an evening. Men never asked +him why he did not play a rubber. He would generally saunter into +Sebright's after he left his office, and lounge about the room for half +an hour, talking to a few men. Nobody was uncivil to him. But he knew +that the whole thing was changed, and he resolved, with some wisdom, to +accommodate himself to his altered circumstances. + +Lady Alexandrina also found her new life rather dull, and was sometimes +inclined to be a little querulous. She would tell her husband that she +never got out, and would declare, when he offered to walk with her, +that she did not care for walking in the streets. "I don't exactly see, +then, where you are to walk," he once replied. She did not tell him +that she was fond of riding, and that the Park was a very fitting place +for such exercise; but she looked it, and he understood her. "I'll do +all I can for her," he said to himself; "but I'll not ruin myself." + +"Amelia is coming to take me for a drive," she said another time. "Ah, +that'll be very nice," he answered. "No; it won't be very nice," said +Alexandrina. "Amelia is always shopping and bargaining with the +tradespeople. But it will be better than being kept in the house +without ever stirring out." + +They breakfasted nominally at half-past nine; in truth, it was always +nearly ten, as Lady Alexandrina found it difficult to get herself out +of her room. At half-past ten punctually he left his house for his +office. He usually got home by six, and then spent the greatest part of +the hour before dinner: in the ceremony of dressing. He went, at least, +into his dressing-room, after speaking a few words to his wife: and +there remained pulling things about, clipping his nails, looking over +any paper that came in his way, and killing the time. He expected his +dinner punctually at seven, and began to feel a little cross if he were +kept waiting. After dinner, he drank one glass of wine in company with +his wife, and one other by himself, during which latter ceremony he +would stare at the hot coals, and think of the thing he had done. Then +he would go upstairs, and have, first a cup of coffee, and then a cup +of tea. He would read his newspaper, open a book or two, hide his face +when he yawned, and try to make believe that he liked it. She had no +signs or words of love for him. She never sat on his knee, or caressed +him. She never showed him that any happiness had come to her in being +allowed to live close to him. They thought that they loved each +other-each thought so; but there was no love, no sympathy, no warmth. +The very atmosphere was cold-so cold that no fire could remove the +chill. + +In what way would it have been different had Lily Dale sat opposite to +him there as his wife, instead of Lady Alexandrina? He told himself +frequently that either with one or with the other life would have been +the same; that he had made himself for a while unfit for domestic life, +and that he must cure himself of that unfitness. But though he declared +this to himself in one set of half-spoken thoughts, he would also +declare to himself in another set, that Lily would have made the whole +house bright with her brightness; that had he brought her home to his +hearth, there would have been a sun shining on him every morning and +every evening. But, nevertheless, he strove to do his duty, and +remembered that the excitement of official life was still open to him. +From eleven in the morning till five in the afternoon he could still +hold a position which made it necessary that men should regard him with +respect, and speak to him with deference. In this respect he was better +off than his wife, for she had no office to which she could betake +herself. + +"Yes," she said to Amelia, "it is all very nice, and I don't mind the +house being damp; but I get so tired of being alone." + +"That must be the case with women who are married to men of business." + +"Oh, I don't complain. Of course I knew what I was about. I suppose it +won't be so very dull when everybody is up in London." + +"I don't find the season makes much difference to us after Christmas," +said Amelia; "but no doubt London is gayer in May. You'll find you'll +like it better next year; and perhaps you'll have a baby, you know." + +"Psha!" ejaculated Lady Alexandrina; "I don't want a baby, and don't +suppose I shall have one." + +"It's always something to do, you know." + +Lady Alexandrina, though she was not of an energetic temperament, could +not but confess to herself that she had made a mistake. She had been +tempted to marry Crosbie because Crosbie was a man of fashion, and now +she was told that the London season would make no difference to her-the +London season which had hitherto always brought to her the excitement +of parties, if it had not given her the satisfaction of amusement. She +had been tempted to marry at all because it appeared to her that a +married woman could enjoy society with less restraint than a girl who +was subject to her mother or her chaperon; that she would have more +freedom of action as a married woman; and now she was told that she +must wait for a baby before she could have anything to do. Courcy +Castle was sometimes dull, but Courcy Castle would have been better +than this. + +When Crosbie returned home after this little conversation about the +baby, he was told by his wife that they were to dine with the Gazebees +on the next Sunday. On hearing this he shook his head with vexation. He +knew, however, that he had no right to make complaint, as he had been +only taken. to St. John's Wood once since they had come home from their +marriage trip. There was, however, one point as to which he could +grumble. "Why, on earth, on Sunday?" + +"Because Amelia asked me for Sunday. If you are asked for Sunday, you +cannot say you'll go on Monday." + +"It is so terrible on a Sunday afternoon. At what hour?" + +"She said half-past five." + +"Heavens and earth! What are we to do all the evening?" + +"It is not kind of you, Adolphus, to speak in that way of my relations." + +"Come, my love, that's a joke; as if I hadn't heard you say the same +thing twenty times. You've complained of having to go up there much +more bitterly than I ever did. You know I like your sister, and, in his +way, Gazebee is a very good fellow; but after three or four hours, one +begins to have had enough of him." + +"It can't be much duller than it is-" but Lady Alexandrina stopped +herself before she finished her speech. + +"One can always read at home, at any rate," said Crosbie. + +"One can't always be reading. However, I have said you would go. If you +choose to refuse, you must write and explain." + +When the Sunday came the Crosbies of course did go to St. John's Wood, +arriving punctually at that door which he so hated at half-past five. +One of the earliest resolutions which he made when he first +contemplated the De Courcy match, was altogether hostile to the +Gazebees. He would see but very little of them. He would shake himself +free of that connection. It was not with that branch of the family that +he desired an alliance. But now, as things had gone, that was the only +branch of the family with which he seemed to be allied. He was always +hearing of the Gazebees. Amelia and Alexandrina were constantly +together. He was now dragged there to a Sunday dinner; and he knew that +he should often be dragged there-that he could not avoid such +draggings. He already owed money to Mortimer Gazebee, and was aware +that his affairs had been allowed to fall into that lawyer's hands in +such a way that he could not take them out again. His house was very +thoroughly furnished, and he knew that the bills had been paid; but he +had not paid them; every shilling had been paid through Mortimer +Gazebee. + +"Go with your mother and aunt, De Courcy," the attorney said to the +lingering child after dinner; and then Crosbie was left alone with his +wife's brother-in-law. This was the period of the St. John's Wood +purgatory which was so dreadful to him. With his sister-in-law he could +talk, remembering perhaps always that she was an earl's daughter. But +with Gazebee he had nothing in common. And he felt that Gazebee, who +had once treated him with great deference, had now lost all such +feeling. Crosbie had once been a man of fashion in the estimation of +the attorney, but that was all over. Crosbie, in the attorney's +estimation, was now simply the secretary of a public office-a man who +owed him money. The two had married sisters, and there was no reason +why the light of the prosperous attorney should pale before that of the +civil servant, who was not very prosperous. All this was understood +thoroughly by both the men. +"There's terrible bad news from Courcy," said the attorney, as soon as +the boy was gone. + +"Why; what's the matter?" + +"Porlock has married-that woman, you know." + +"Nonsense." + +"He has. The old lady has been obliged to tell me, and she's nearly +broken-hearted about it. But that's not the worst of it to my mind. All +the world knows that Porlock had gone to the mischief. But he is going +to bring an action against his father for some arrears of his +allowance, and he threatens to have everything out in court, if he +doesn't get his money." + +"But is there money due to him? + +"Yes, there is. A couple of thousand pounds or so. I suppose I shall +have to find it. But, upon my honour, I don't know where it's to come +from; I don't, indeed. In one way or another, I've paid over fourteen +hundred pounds for you." + +"Fourteen hundred pounds!" + +"Yes, indeed-what with the insurance and the furniture, and the bill +from our house for the settlements. That's not paid yet, but it's the +same thing. A man doesn't get married for nothing, I can tell you." + +"But you've got security." + +"Oh, yes; I've got security. But the thing is the ready money. Our +house has advanced so much on the Courcy property, that they don't like +going any further; and therefore it is that I have to do this myself. +They'll all have to go abroad-that'll be the end of it. There's been +such a scene between the earl and George. George lost his temper and +told the earl that Porlock's marriage was his fault. It has ended in +George with his wife being turned out." + +"He has money of his own." + +"Yes, but he won't spend it. He's coming up here, and we shall find him +hanging about us. I don't mean to give him a bed here, and I advise you +not to do so either. You'll not get rid of him if you do." + +"I have the greatest possible dislike to him." + +"Yes; he's a bad fellow. So is John. Porlock was the best, but he's +gone altogether to ruin. They've made a nice mess of it between them; +haven't they?" + +This was the family for whose sake Crosbie had jilted Lily Dale! His +single and simple ambition had been that of being an earl's son-in-law. +To achieve that it had been necessary that he should make himself a +villain. In achieving it he had gone through all manner of dirt and +disgrace. He had married a woman whom he knew he did not love. He was +thinking almost hourly of a girl whom he had loved, whom he did love, +but whom he had so injured, that, under no circumstances, could he be +allowed to speak to her again. The attorney there-who sat opposite to +him, talking about his thousands of pounds with that disgusting assumed +solicitude which such men put on, when they know very well what they +are doing-had made a similar marriage. But he had known what he, was +about. He had got from his marriage all that he had expected. But what +had Crosbie got? + +"They're a bad set-a bad set," said he in his bitterness. + +"The men are," said Gazebee, very comfortably. + +"H-m," said Crosbie. It was manifest to Gazebee that his friend was +expressing a feeling that the women, also, were not all that they +should be, but he took no offence, though some portion of the censure +might thereby be supposed to attach to his own wife. + +"The countess means well," said Gazebee. "But she's had a hard life of +it-a very hard life. I've heard him call her names that would frighten +a coalheaver. I have, indeed. But he'll die soon, and then she'll be +comfortable. She has three thousand a year jointure." + +He'll die soon, and then she'll be comfortable! That was one phase of +married life. As Crosbie's mind dwelt upon the words, he remembered +Lily's promise made in the fields, that she would do everything for +him. He remembered his kisses; the touch of her fingers; the low +silvery laughing voice; the feel of her dress as she would press close +to him. After that he reflected whether it would not be well that he +too should die, so that Alexandrina might be comfortable. She and her +mother might be very comfortable together, with plenty of money, at +Baden Baden! + +The squire at Allington, and Mrs Dale, and Lady Julia de Guest, had +been, and still were, uneasy in their minds because no punishment had +fallen upon Crosbie-no vengeance had overtaken him in consequence of +his great sin. How little did they know about it! Cold he have been +prosecuted and put into prison, with hard labour, for twelve months, +the punishment would not have been heavier. He would, in that case, at +any rate, have been saved from Lady Alexandrina. + +"George and his wife are coming up to town; couldn't we ask them to +come to us for a week or so?" said his wife to him, as soon as they +were in the fly together, going home. + +"No," shouted Crosbie; "we will do no such thing." There was not +another word said on the subject-nor on any other subject till they got +home. When they reached their house Alexandrina had a headache, and +went up to her room immediately. Crosbie threw himself into a chair +before the remains of a fire in the dining-room, and resolved that he +would cut the whole De Courcy family together. His wife, as his wife, +should obey him. She should obey him-or else leave him and go her way +by herself, leaving him to go his way. There was an income of twelve +hundred a year. Would it not be a fine thing for him if he could keep +six hundred for himself and return to his old manner of life. All his +old comforts of course he would not have-nor the old esteem and regard +of men. But the luxury of a club dinner he might enjoy. Un-embarrassed +evenings might be his-with liberty to him to pass them as he pleased. +He knew many men who were separated from their wives, and who seemed to +be as happy as their neighbours. And then he remembered how ugly +Alexandrina had been this evening, wearing a great tinsel coronet full +of false stones, with a cold in her head which had reddened her nose. +There had, too, fallen upon her in these her married days a certain +fixed dreary dowdiness. She certainly was very plain! So he said to +himself, and then he went to bed. I myself am inclined to think that +his punishment was sufficiently severe. + +The next morning his wife still complained of headache, so that he +breakfasted alone. Since that positive refusal which he had given to +her proposition for inviting her brother, there had not been much +conversation between them. "My head is splitting, and Sarah shall bring +some tea and toast up to me, if you will not mind it." + +He did not mind it in the least, and ate his breakfast by himself, with +more enjoyment than usually attended that meal. + +It was clear to him that all the present satisfaction of his life must +come to him from his office work. There are men who find it difficult +to live without some source of daily comfort, and he was such a man. He +could hardly endure his life unless there were some page in it on which +he could look with gratified eyes. He had always liked his work, and he +now determined that he would, like it better than ever. But in order +that he might do so it was necessary that he should have much of his +own way. According to the theory of his office, it was incumbent on him +as Secretary simply to take the orders of the Commissioners, and see +that they were executed; and to such work as this his predecessor had +strictly confined himself. But he had already done, more than this, and +had conceived the ambition of holding the Board almost under his thumb. +He flattered himself that he knew his own work and theirs better than +they knew either, and that by a little management he might be their +master. It is not impossible that such might have been the case had +there been no fracas at the Paddington station; but, as we all know, +the dominant cock of the farmyard must be ever dominant. When he shall +once have had his wings so smeared with mud as to give him even the +appearance of adversity, no other cock will ever respect him again. Mr +Optimist and Mr Butterwell knew very well that their secretary had been +cudgelled, and they could not submit themselves to a secretary who had +been so treated. + +"Oh, by-the-by, Crosbie," said Butterwell, coming into his room, soon +after his arrival at his office on that day of his solitary breakfast, +"I want to say just a few words to you." And Butterwell turned round +and closed the door, the lock of which had not previously been +fastened. Crosbie, without much thinking, immediately foretold himself +the nature of the coming conversation. + +"Do you know-" said Butterwell, beginning. + +"Sit down, won't you?" said Crosbie, seating himself as he spoke. If +there was to be a contest, he would make the best fight he could. He +would show a better spirit here than he had done on the railway +platform. Butterwell did sit down and felt as he did so, that the very +motion of sitting took away some of his power. He ought to have sent +for Crosbie into his own room. A man, when he wishes to reprimand +another, should always have the benefit of his own atmosphere. + +"I don't want to find any fault," Butterwell began. + +"I hope you have not any cause," said Crosbie. + +"No, no; I don't say that I have. But we think at the Board-" + +"Stop, stop, Butterwell. If anything unpleasant is coming, it had +better come from the Board. I should take it in better spirit; I +should, indeed." + +"What takes place at the Board must be official." + +"I should not mind that in the least. I should rather like it than +otherwise." + +"It simply amounts to this-that we think you are taking a little too +much on yourself. No doubt, it's a fault on the right side, and arises +from your wishing to have the work well done." + +"And if I don't do it, who will?" asked Crosbie. + +"The Board is very well able to get through all that appertains to it. +Come, Crosbie, you and I have known each other a great many years, and +it would be pity that we should have any words. I have come to you in +this way because it would be disagreeable to you to have any question +raised officially. Optimist isn't given to being very angry, but he was +downright angry yesterday. You had better take what I say in good part, +and go along a little quieter." + +But Crosbie was not in a humour to take anything quietly. He was sore +all over, and prone to hit out at everybody that he met. "I have done +my duty to the best of my ability, Mr Butterwell," he said, "and I +believe I have done it well. I believe I know my duty here as well as +any one can teach me. If I have done more than my share of work, it is +because other people have done less than theirs". As he spoke, there +was a black cloud upon his brow, and the Commissioner could perceive +that the Secretary was very wrathful. + +"Oh! very well," said Butterwell, rising from his chair. "I can only, +under such circumstances, speak to the Chairman, and he will tell you +what he thinks at the Board. I think you're foolish; I do, indeed. As +for myself, I have only meant to act kindly by you." After that, Mr +Butterwell took himself off. + +On the same afternoon, Crosbie was summoned into the Board-room in the +usual way, between two and three. This was a daily occurrence, as he +always sat for about an hour with two out of the three Commissioners, +after they had fortified themselves with a biscuit and a glass of +sherry. On the present occasion, the usual amount of business was +transacted, but it was done in a manner which made Crosbie feel that +they did not all stand together on their usual footing. The three +Commissioners were all there. The Chairman gave his directions in a +solemn, pompous voice, which was by no means usual to him when he was +in good humour. The Major said little or nothing; but there was agleam +of satisfied sarcasm in his eye. Things were going wrong at the Board, +and he was pleased. + +Mr Butterwell was exceedingly civil in his demeanour, and rather more +than ordinarily brisk. As soon as the regular work of the day was over, +Mr Optimist shuffled about on his chair, rising from his seat, and then +sitting down again. He looked through a lot of papers close to his +hand, peering at them over his spectacles. Then he selected one, took +off his spectacles, leaned back in his chair, and began his little +speech. + +"Mr Crosbie," he said, "we are all very much gratified-very much +gratified, indeed-by your zeal and energy in the service." + +"Thank you, sir," said Crosbie; "I am fond of the service." + +"Exactly, exactly; we all feel that. But we think that you-if I were to +say take too much upon yourself, I should say, perhaps, more than we +mean." + +"Don't say more than you mean, Mr Optimist." Crosbie's eyes, as he +spoke, gleamed slightly with his momentary triumph; as did also those +of Major Fiasco. + +"No, no, no," said Mr Optimist; "I would say rather less than more to +so very good a public servant as yourself. But you, doubtless, +understand me?" + +"I don't think I do quite, sir. If I have not taken too much on me, +what is it that I have done that I ought not to have done?" + +"You have given directions in many cases for which you ought first to +have received authority. Here is an instance," and the selected paper +was at once brought out. + +It was a matter in which the Secretary had been manifestly wrong +according to written law, and he could not defend it on its own merits. + +"If you wish me," said he, "to confine myself exactly to the positive +instructions of the office, I will do so; but I think you will find it +inconvenient." + +"It will be far the best" said Mr Optimist. + +"Very well," said Mr Crosbie, "it shall be done." And he at once +determined to make himself as unpleasant to the three gentlemen in the +room as he might find it within his power to do. He could make himself +very unpleasant, but the unpleasantness would be as much. to him as to +them. + +Nothing would now go right with him. He could look in no direction for +satisfaction. He sauntered into Sebright's, as he went home, but he +could not find-words to speak to any one about the little matters of +the day. He went home, and his wife, though she was up, complained +still of her headache. + +"I haven't been out of the house all day," she said, "and that has made +it worse." + +"I don't know how you are to get out if you won't walk," he answered. + +Then there was no more said between them till they sat down to their +meal. + +Had the squire at Allington known all, he might, I think, have been +satisfied with the punishment which Crosbie had encountered. + +CHAPTER XLIX + +PREPARATIONS FOR GOING + + +"Mamma, read that letter." + +It was Mrs Dale's eldest daughter who spoke to her, and they were alone +together in the parlour at the Small House. Mrs Dale took the letter +and read it very carefully. She then put it back into its envelope and +returned it to Bell. + +"It is, at any rate, a good letter, and, as I believe, tells the truth." + +"I think it tells a little more than the truth, mamma. As you say, it +is a well-written letter. He always writes well when he is in earnest. +But yet-" + +"Yet what, my dear?" + +"There is more head than heart in it." + +"If so, he will suffer the less; that is, if you are quite resolved in +the matter." + +"I am quite resolved, and I do not think he will suffer much. He would +not, I suppose, have taken the trouble to write like that, if he did +not wish this thing." + +"I am quite sure that he does wish it, most earnestly; and that he will +be greatly disappointed." + +"As he would be if any other scheme did not turn out to his +satisfaction; that is all." + +The letter, of course, was from Bell's cousin Bernard, and containing +the strongest plea he was able to make in favour, of his suit for her +hand. Bernard Dale was better able to press such a plea by letter than +by spoken words. He was a man capable of doing anything well in the +doing of, which a little time for consideration might be given to him; +but he had. not in him that power of passion which will force a man to +eloquence in asking for that which he desires to obtain. His letter on +this occasion was long, and well argued. If there was little in it of +passionate love, there was much of pleasant flattery. He told Bell how +advantageous to both their families their marriage would be; he +declared to her, that his own feeling in the matter had been rendered +stronger by absence; he alluded without boasting to his past career of +life as her best guarantee for his future conduct; he explained to her +that if this marriage could be arranged there need then, at any rate, +be no further question as to his aunt removing with Lily from the Small +House; and then he told her that his affection for herself was the +absorbing passion of his existence. Had the letter been written with +the view of obtaining from a third person a favourable verdict as to +his suit, it would have been a very good letter indeed; but there vas +not a word in it that could stir the heart of such a girl as Bell Dale. + +"Answer him kindly," Mrs Dale said. + +"As kindly as I know how," said Bell. "I wish you would write the +letter, mamma." + +"I fear that would not do. What I should say would only tempt him to +try again." +Mrs Dale knew very well-had known for some months past-that Bernard's +suit was hopeless. She felt certain, although the matter had not been +discussed between them, that whenever Dr Crofts might choose to come +again and ask for her daughter's hand he would not be refused. Of the +two men she probably liked Dr Crofts the best; but she liked them both, +and she could not but remember that the one, in a worldly point of +view, would be a very poor match, whereas the other would, in all +respects, be excellent. She would not, on any account, say a word to +influence her daughter, and knew, moreover, that no word which she +could say would influence her; but she could not divest herself of some +regret that it should be so. + +"I know what you would wish, mamma," said Bell. + +"I have but one wish, dearest, and that is for your happiness. May God +preserve you from any such fate as Lily's. When I tell you to write +kindly to your cousin, I simply mean that II think him to have deserved +a kind reply by his honesty." + +"It shall be as kind as I can make it, mamma; but you know what the +lady says in the play-how hard it is to take the sting from that word +'no.'" Then Bell walked out alone for a while, and on her return got +her desk and wrote her letter. It was very firm and decisive. As for +that wit which should pluck the sting "from such a sharp and waspish +word as 'no,'" I fear she had it not. "It will be better to make him +understand that I, also, am in earnest," she said to herself; and in +this frame of mind she wrote her letter. "Pray do not allow yourself to +think that what I have said is unfriendly," she added, in a postscript. +"I know how good you are, and I know the great value of what I refuse; +but in this matter it must be my duty to tell you the simple truth." + +It had been decided between the squire and Mrs Dale that the removal +from the Small House to Guestwick was not to take place till the first +of May. When he had been made to understand that Dr Crofts had thought +it injudicious that Lily should be taken out of their present house in +March, he had used all the eloquence of which he was master to induce +Mrs Dale to consent to abandon her project. He had told her that he had +always considered that house as belonging, of right, to some other of +the family than himself; that it had always been so inhabited, and that +no squire of Allington had for years past taken rent for it. "There is +no favour conferred-none at all," he had said; but speaking +nevertheless in his usual sharp, ungenial tone. + +"There is a favour, a great favour, and great generosity," Mrs Dale had +replied. "And I have never been too proud to accept it; but when I tell +you that we think we shall be happier at Guestwick, you will not, +refuse to let us go. Lily has had a great blow in that house, and Bell +feels that she is running counter to your wishes on her behalf-wishes +that are so very kind!'' + +"No more need be said about that. All that may come right yet, if you +will remain where you are." + +But Mrs Dale knew that "all that" could never come right, and +persisted. Indeed, she would hardly have dared to tell her girls that +she had yielded to the squire's entreaties. It was. just then, at that +very, time, that the squire was, as it were, in treaty with the earl +about Lily's fortune; and he did feel it hard that, he should be +opposed in such a way by his own relatives at the moment when he was +behaving towards them with so much generosity. But in his arguments +about the house he said nothing of Lily, or her future prospects. + +They were to move on the first of May, and one week of April was +already past. The squire had said nothing further on the matter after +the interview with Mrs Dale to which allusion has just been made. He +was vexed and sore at the separation, thinking that he, was ill-used, +by the feeling, which was displayed by this refusal. He had done his +duty by them, as he thought; indeed more than his duty, and now they +told him that they were leaving him because they could no longer bear +the weight of an obligation conferred by his hands. But in truth he did +not understand them; nor did they understand him. He had been hard in +his manner, and had occasionally domineered, not feeling that his +position, though it gave him all the privileges of a near and a dear +friend, did not give him the authority of a father or a husband. In +that matter of Bernard's proposed marriage he had spoken as though Bell +should have considered his wishes before she refused her cousin. He had +taken upon himself to scold Mrs Dale, and had thereby given offence to +the girls, which they at the time had found it utterly impossible to +forgive. + +But they were hardly better satisfied in the matter than was he; and +now that the time had come, though they could not bring themselves to +go back from their demand, almost felt that they were treating the +squire with cruelty. When their decision had been made-while it had +been making-he had been stern and hard to them. Since that he had been +softened by Lily's misfortune, and softened also by the anticipated +loneliness which would come upon him when they should be gone from his +side. It was hard upon him that they should so treat him when he was +doing his best for them all! And they also felt this, though they did +not know the extent to which he was anxious to go in serving them. When +they had sat round the fire planning the scheme of their removal, their +hearts had been hardened against him, and they had resolved to assert +their independence. But now, when the time for action had come, they +felt that their grievances against him had already been in a great +measure assuaged. This tinged all that they did with a certain sadness; +but still they continued their work. + +Who does not know how terrible are those preparations for +house-moving-how infinite in number are the articles which must be +packed, how inexpressibly uncomfortable is the period of packing, and +how poor and tawdry is the aspect of one's belongings while they are +thus in a state of dislocation? Nowadays people who understand the +world, and have money commensurate with their understanding, have +learned the way of shunning all these disasters, and of leaving the +work to the hands of persons paid for doing it. The crockery is left in +the cupboards, the books on the shelves, the wine in the bins, the +curtains in their poles, and the family that is understanding goes for +a fortnight to Brighton. At the end of that time the crockery is +comfortably settled in other cupboards, the books on other shelves, the +wine in other bins, the curtains are hung on other poles, and all is +arranged. But Mrs Dale and her daughters understood nothing of such a +method of moving as this. The assistance of the village carpenter in +filling certain cases that he had made was all that they knew how to +obtain beyond that of their own two servants. Every article had to pass +through the hands of some one of the family; and as they felt almost +overwhelmed by the extent of the work to be done, they began it much +sooner than was necessary, so that it became evident as they advanced +in their work, that they would have to pass a dreadfully dull, stupid, +uncomfortable week at last, among their boxes and cases, in all the +confusion of dismantled furniture. + + +At first an edict had gone forth that Lily was to do nothing. She was +an invalid, and was to be petted and kept quiet. But this edict soon +fell to the ground, and Lily worked harder than either her mother or +her sister. In truth she was hardly an invalid any longer, and would +not submit to an invalid's treatment. She felt herself that for the +present constant occupation could alone save her from the misery of +looking back-and she had conceived an idea that the harder that +occupation was, the better it would be for her. While pulling down the +books, and folding the linen, and turning out from their old +hiding-places the small long-forgotten properties of the household, she +would be as gay as ever she had been in old times. She would talk over +her work, standing with flushed cheek and laughing eyes among the dusty +ruins around her, till for a moment her mother would think that all was +well within her. But then at other moments, when the reaction came, it +would seem as though nothing were well. She could not sit quietly over +the fire, with quiet rational work in her hands, and chat in a rational +quiet way. Not as yet could she do so. Nevertheless it was well with +her-within her own bosom. She had declared to herself that she would +conquer her misery-as she had also declared to herself during her +illness that her misfortune should not kill her-and she was in the way +to conquer it. She told herself that the world was not over for her +because her sweet hopes had been frustrated. The wound had been deep +and very sore, but the flesh of the patient had been sound and healthy, +and her blood pure. A physician having knowledge in such cases would +have declared, after long watching of her symptoms, that a cure was +probable. Her mother was the physician who watched her with the closest +eyes; and she, though she was sometimes driven to doubt, did hope, with +stronger hope from day to day, that her child might live to remember +the story of her love without abiding agony. + + +That nobody should talk to her about it-that had been the one +stipulation which she had seemed to make, not sending forth a request +to that effect among her friends in so many words, but showing by +certain signs that such was her stipulation. A word to that effect she +had spoken to her uncle-as may be remembered, which word had been +regarded with the closest obedience. She had gone out into her little +world very soon after the news of Crosbie's falsehood had reached +her-first to church and then among the people of the village, resolving +to carry herself as though no crushing weight had fallen upon her. The +village people had understood it all, listening to her and answering +her without the proffer of any outspoken parley. + +"Lord bless ee," said Mrs Crump, the postmistress-and Mrs Crump was +supposed to have the sourest temper in Allington-"whenever I look at +thee, Miss Lily, I thinks that surely thee is the beautifulest young +'ooman in all these parts." + +"And you are the crossest old woman," said Lily, laughing, and giving +her hand to the postmistress. + +"So I be," said Mrs Crump. "So I be." Then Lily sat down in the cottage +and asked after her ailments. With Mrs Hearn it was the same. Mrs +Hearn, after that first meeting which has been already mentioned, +petted and caressed her, but spoke no further word of her misfortune. +When Lily called a second time upon Mrs Boyce, which she did boldly by +herself, that lady did begin one other word of commiseration. "My +dearest Lily, we have all been made so unhappy-" So far Mrs Boyce got, +sitting close to Lily and striving to look into her face; but Lily, +with a slightly heightened colour, turned sharp round upon one of the +Boyce girls, tearing Mrs Boyce's commiseration into the smallest +shreds. "Minnie," she said, speaking quite loud, almost with girlish +ecstasy, "what do you think Tartar did yesterday? I never laughed so +much in my life." Then she told a ludicrous story about a very ugly +terrier which belonged to the squire. After that even Mrs Boyce made no +further attempt. Mrs Dale and Bell both understood that such was to be +the rule-the rule even to them. Lily would speak to them occasionally +on the matter-to one of them at a time, beginning with some almost +single word of melancholy resignation, and then would go on till she +opened her very bosom before them; but no such conversation was ever +begun by them. But now, in these busy days of the packing, that topic +seemed to have been banished altogether. + +"Mamma," she said, standing on the top rung of a house-ladder, from +which position she was handing down glass out of a cupboard, "are you +sure that these things are ours? I think some of them belong to the +house." + +"I'm sure about that bowl at any rate, because it was my mother's +before I was married." + +"Oh, dear, what should I do if I were to break it? Whenever I handle +anything very precious I always feel inclined to throw it down and +smash it. Oh! it was as nearly gone as possible, mamma; but that was +your fault." + +"If you don't take care you'll be nearly gone yourself. Do take hold of +something." + +"Oh, Bell, here's the inkstand for which you've been moaning for three +years." + +"I haven't been moaning for three years; but who could have put it up +there? + +"Catch it," said Lily; and she threw the bottle down on to a pile of +carpets. + +At this moment a step was heard in the hall, and the squire entered +through the open door of the room. "So you're all at work," said he. + +"Yes, we're at work," said Mrs Dale, almost with a tone of shame. "If +it is to be done it is as well that it should be got over." + +"It makes me wretched enough," said the squire. "But I didn't come to +talk about that. I've brought you a note from Lady Julia de Guest, and +I've had one from the earl. They want us all to go there and stay the +week after Easter." + +Mrs Dale and the girls, when this very sudden proposition was made to +them, all remained fixed in their place, and, for a moment, were +speechless. Go and stay a week at Guestwick Manor! The whole family! +Hitherto the intercourse between the Manor and the Small House had been +confined to morning calls, very far between. Mrs Dale had never dined +there, and had latterly even deputed the calling to her daughters. Once +Bell had dined there with her uncle, the squire, and once Lily had gone +over with her uncle Orlando. Even this had been long ago, before they +were quite brought out, and they had regarded the occasion with the +solemn awe of children. Now, at this time of their flitting into some +small mean dwelling at Guestwick, they had previously settled among +themselves that that affair of calling at the Manor might be allowed to +drop. Mrs Eames never called, and they were descending to the level of +Mrs Eames. "Perhaps we shall get game sent to us, and that will be +better," Lily had said. And now, at this very moment of their descent +in life, they were all asked to go and stay a week at the Manor! Stay a +week with Lady Julia! Had the Queen sent the Lord Chamberlain down to +bid them all go to Windsor Castle it could hardly have startled them +more at the first blow. Bell had been seated on the folded carpet when +her uncle had entered, and now had again sat herself in the same place. +Lily was still standing at the top of the ladder, and Mrs Dale was at +the foot with one hand on Lily's dress. The squire had told his story +very abruptly, but he was a man who, having a story to tell, knew +nothing better than to tell it out abruptly, letting out everything at +the first moment. + +"Wants us all!" said Mrs Dale. "How many does the all mean?" Then she +opened Lady Julia's note and read it, not moving from her position at +the foot of the ladder. + +"Do let me see, mamma," said Lily; and then the note was handed up to +her. Had Mrs Dale well considered the matter she might probably have +kept the note to herself for a while, but the whole thing was so sudden +that she had not considered the matter well. + +My dear Mrs Dale (the letter ran)-I send this inside a note from my +brother to Mr Dale. We particularly want you and your two girls to come +to us for a week from the seventeenth of this month. Considering our +near connection we ought to have seen more of each other than we have +done for years past, and of course it has been our fault. But it is +never too late to amend one's ways; and I hope you will receive my +confession in the true spirit of affection in which it is intended, and +that you will show your goodness by coming to us. I will do all I can +to make the house pleasant to your girls, for both of whom I have much +real regard. + +I should tell you that John Eames will be here for the same week. My +brother is very fond of him, and thinks him the best young man of the +day. He is one of my heroes, too, I must confess. + +Very sincerely yours, + +JULIA DE GUEST. + + +Lily, standing on the ladder, read the letter very attentively. The +squire meanwhile stood below speaking a word or two to his +sister-in-law and niece. No one could see Lily's face, as it was turned +away towards the window, and it was still averted when she spoke. "It +is out of the question that we should go, mamma -that is, all of us." + +"Why out of the question?" said the squire. + +"A whole family!" said Mrs Dale. + +"That is just what they want," said the squire. + +"I should like of all things to be left alone for a week," said Lily, +"if mamma and Bell would go." + +"That wouldn't do at all," said the squire. "Lady Julia specially wants +you to be one of the party." + +The thing had been badly managed altogether. The reference in Lady +Julia's note to John Eames had explained to Lily the whole scheme at +once, and had so opened her eyes that all the combined influence of the +Dale and De Guest families could not have dragged her over to the Manor. + +"Why not do? "said Lily. "It would be out of the question a whole +family going in that way, but it would be very nice for Bell." + +"No, it would not," said Bell. + +"Don't be ungenerous about it, my dear," said the squire turning to +Bell; "Lady Julia means to be kind. But, my darling," and the squire +turned again towards Lily, addressing her, as was his wont in these +days, with an affection that was almost vexatious to her; "but, my +darling, why should you not go? A change of scene like that will do you +all the good in the world, just when you are getting well. Mary, tell +the girls they ought to go." +Mrs Dale stood silent, again reading the note, and Lily came down from +the ladder. When she reached the floor she went directly up to her +uncle, and taking his hand turned him round with herself towards one of +the windows, so that they stood with their backs to the room. "Uncle," +she said, "do not be angry with me. I can't go;" and then she put up +her face to kiss him. + +He stooped and kissed her and still held her hand. He looked into her +face and read it all. He knew well, now, why she could not go; or, +rather, why she herself thought that she could not go. "Cannot you, my +darling?" he said. + +"No, uncle. It is very kind-very kind; but I cannot go. I am not fit to +go anywhere." + +"But you should get over that feeling. You should make a struggle." + +"I am struggling, and I shall succeed; but I cannot do it all at once. +At any rate I could not go there. You must give my love to Lady Julia, +and not let her think me cross. Perhaps Bell will go." + +What would be the good of Bell's going-or the good of his putting +himself out of the way, by a visit which would of itself be so tiresome +to him, if the one object of the visit could not be carried out? The +earl and his sister had planned the invitation with the express +intention of bringing Lily and Eames together. It seemed that Lily was +firm in her determination to resist this intention; and, if so, it +would be better that the whole thing should fall to the ground. He was +very vexed, and yet he was not angry with her. Everybody lately had +opposed him in everything. All his intended family arrangements had +gone wrong. But yet he was seldom angry respecting them. He was so +accustomed to be thwarted that he hardly expected success. In this +matter of providing Lily with a second lover, he had not come forward +of his own accord. He had been appealed to by his neighbour the earl, +and had certainly answered the appeal with much generosity. He had been +induced to make the attempt with eagerness, and a true desire for its +accomplishment; but in this, as in all his own schemes, he was met at +once by opposition and failure. + +"I will leave you to talk it over among yourselves," he said. "But, +Mary, you had better see me before you send your answer. If you will +come up by-and-by, Ralph shall take the two notes over together in the +afternoon." So saying, he left the Small House, and went back to his +own solitary home. + +"Lily, dear," said Mrs Dale, as soon as the front door had been closed, +"this is meant for kindness to you-for most affectionate kindness." + +"I know it, mamma; and you must go to Lady Julia, and must tell her +that I know it. You must give her my love. And, indeed, I do love her +now. But-" + +"You won't go, Lily?" said Mrs Dale, beseechingly. + +"No, mamma; certainly I will not go." Then she escaped out of the room +by herself, and for the next hour neither of them dared to go to her. + +CHAPTER L + +MRS DALE IS THANKFUL FOR A GOOD THING + + +On that day they dined early at the Small House, as they had been in +the habit of doing since the packing had commenced. And after dinner +Mrs Dale went through the gardens, up to the other house, with a +written note in her hand. In that note she had told Lady Julia, with +many protestations of gratitude, that Lily was unable to go out so soon +after her illness, and that she herself was obliged to stay with Lily. +She explained also, that the business of moving was in hand, and that, +therefore, she could not herself accept the invitation. But her other +daughter, she said, would be very happy to accompany her uncle to +Guestwick Manor. Then, without closing her letter, she took it up to +the squire in order that it might be decided whether it would or would +not suit his views. It might well he that he would not care to go to +Lord de Guest's with Bell alone. + +"Leave it with me," he said; "that is, if you do not object." + +"Oh dear, no!" + +"I'll tell you the plain truth at once, Mary. I shall go over myself +with it, and see the earl. Then I will decline it or not, according to +what passes between me and him. I wish Lily would have gone." + +"Ah! she could not." + +"I wish she could. I wish she could. I wish she could." As he repeated +the words over and over again, there was an eagerness in his voice that +filled Mrs Dale's heart with tenderness towards him. + +"The truth is," said Mrs Dale, "she could not go there to meet John +Eames." + +"Oh, I know," said the squire: "I understand it. But that is just what +we want her to do. Why should she not spend a week in the same house +with an honest young man whom we all like." + + +"There are reasons why she would not wish it." + +"Ah, exactly; the very reasons which should make us induce her to go +there if we can. Perhaps I had better tell you all. Lord de Guest has +taken him by the hand, and wishes him to marry. He has promised to +settle on him an income which will make him comfortable for life." + +"That is very generous; and I am delighted to hear it-for John's sake." + +"And they have promoted him at his office." + +"Ah! then he will do well." + +"He will do very well. He is private secretary now to their head man. +And, Mary, so that she, Lily, should not be empty-handed if their +marriage can be arranged, I have undertaken to settle a hundred a year +on her-on her and her children, if she will accept him. Now you know it +all. I did not mean to tell you; but it is as well that you should have +the means of judging. That other man was a villain. This man is honest. +Would it not be well that she should learn to like him? She always did +like him, I thought, before that other fellow came down here among us." + +"She has always liked him-as a friend." + +"She will never get a better lover." + +Mrs Dale sat silent, thinking over it all. Every word that the squire +said was true. It would be a healing of wounds most desirable and +salutary; an arrangement advantageous to them all; a destiny for Lily +most devoutly to be desired-if only it were possible. Mrs Dale firmly +believed that if her daughter could be made to accept John Eames as her +second lover in a year or two all would be well. Crosbie would then be +forgotten or thought of without regret, and Lily would become the +mistress of a happy home. But there are positions which cannot be +reached, though there be no physical or material objection in the way. +It is the view which the mind takes of a thing which creates the sorrow +that arises from it. If the heart were always malleable and the +feelings could be controlled, who would permit himself to be tormented +by any of the reverses which affection meets? Death would create no +sorrow, ingratitude would lose its sting; and the betrayal of love +would do no injury beyond that which it might entail upon worldly +circumstances. But the heart is not malleable; nor will the feelings +admit of such control. + +"It is not possible for her," said Mrs Dale. "I fear it is not +possible. It is too soon." + +"Six months," pleaded the squire. + +"It will take years-not months," said Mrs Dale. + +"And she will lose all her youth." + +"Yes; he has done all that by his treachery. But it is done, and we +cannot now go back. She loves him yet as dearly as she ever loved him." + +Then the squire muttered certain words below his breath-ejaculations +against Crosbie, which were hardly voluntary; but even as involuntary +ejaculations were very improper. Mrs Dale heard them, and was not +offended either by their impropriety or their warmth. "But you can +understand," she said, "that she cannot bring herself to go there." The +squire struck the table with his fist, and repeated his ejaculations. +If he could only have known how very disagreeable Lady Alexandrina was +making herself, his spirit might, perhaps, have been less vehemently +disturbed. If, also, he could have perceived and understood the light +in which an alliance with the De Courcy family was now regarded by +Crosbie, I think that he would have received some consolation from that +consideration. Those who offend us are generally punished for the +offence they give; but we so frequently miss the satisfaction of +knowing that we are avenged! It is arranged, apparently, that the +injurer shall be punished, but that the person injured shall not +gratify his desire for vengeance. + +"And will you go to Guestwick yourself?" asked Mrs Dale. + +"I will take the note," said the squire, "and will let you know +tomorrow. The earl has behaved so kindly that every possible +consideration is due to him. I had better tell him the whole truth, and +go or stay, as he may wish. I don't see the good of going. What am I to +do at Guestwick Manor? I did think that if we had all been there it +might have cured some difficulties." + +Mrs Dale got up to leave him, but she could not go without saying some +word of gratitude for all that he had attempted to do for them. She +well knew what he meant by the curing of difficulties. He had intended +to signify that had they lived together for a week at Guestwick the +idea of flitting from Allington might possibly have been abandoned. It +seemed now to Mrs Dale as though her brother-in-law were heaping coals +of fire on her head in return for that intention. She felt half-ashamed +of what she was doing, almost acknowledging to herself that she should +have borne with his sternness in return for the benefits he had done to +her daughters. Had she not feared their reproaches she would, even now, +have given way. + +"I do not know what I ought to say to you for your kindness." + +"Say nothing-either for my kindness or unkindness; but stay where you +are, and let us live like Christians together, striving to think good +and not evil." These were kind, loving words, showing in themselves a +spirit of love and forbearance; but they were spoken in a harsh, +unsympathising voice, and the speaker, as he uttered them, looked +gloomily at the fire. In truth the squire, as he spoke, was +half-ashamed of the warmth of what he said. + +"At any rate I will not think evil," Mrs Dale answered, giving him her +hand. After that she left him, and returned home. It was too late for +her to abandon her project of moving and remain at the Small House; but +as she went across the garden she almost confessed to herself that she +repented of what she was doing. + +In these days of the cold early spring, the way from the lawn into the +house, through the drawing-room window, was not as yet open, and it was +necessary to go round by the kitchen-garden on to the road, and thence +in by the front door; or else to pass through the back door, and into +the house by the kitchen. This latter mode of entrance Mrs Dale now +adopted; and as she made her way into the hall Lily came upon her, with +very silent steps, out from the parlour, and arrested her progress. +There was a smile upon Lily's face as she lifted up her finger as if in +caution, and no one looking at her would have supposed that she was +herself in trouble. "Mamma," she said, pointing to the drawing-room +door, and speaking almost in a whisper, "you must not go in there; come +into the parlour." + +"Who's there? Where's Bell?" and Mrs Dale went into the parlour as she +was bidden. "But who is there?" she repeated. + +"He's there!" + +"Who is he?" + +"Oh, mamma, don't be a goose! Dr Crofts is there, of course. He's been +nearly an hour. I wonder how he is managing, for there is nothing on +earth to sit upon but the old lump of a carpet. The room is strewed +about with crockery, and Bell is such a figure! She has got on your old +checked apron, and when he came in she was rolling up the fire-irons in +brown paper. I don't suppose she was ever in such a mess before. +There's one thing certain-he can't kiss her hand." + +"It's you are the goose, Lily." + +"But he's in there certainly, unless he has gone out through the +window, or up the chimney." + +"What made you leave them?" + +"He met me here, in the passage, and spoke to me ever so seriously. +Come in, I said, and see Bell packing the pokers and tongs. I will go +in, he said, but don't come with me. He was ever so serious, and I'm +sure he had been thinking of it all the way along." + +"And why should he not be serious?" + +"Oh, no, of course he ought to be serious; but are you not glad, mamma? +I am so glad. We shall live alone together, you and I; but she will be +so close to us! My belief is that he'll stay there for ever unless +somebody does something. I have been so tired of waiting and looking +out for you. Perhaps he's helping her to pack the things. Don't you +think we might go in; or would it be ill-natured? + +"Lily, don't be in too great a hurry to say anything. You may be +mistaken, you know; and there's many a slip between the cup and the +lip." + +"Yes, mamma, there is," said Lily, putting her hand inside her mother's +arm, "that's true enough." + +"Oh, my darling, forgive me," said the mother, suddenly remembering +that the use of the old proverb at the present moment had been almost +cruel. + +"Do not mind it," said Lily, "it does not hurt me, it does me good; +that is to say, when there is nobody by except yourself. But, with +God's help, there shall be no slip here, and she shall be happy. It is +all the difference between one thing done in a hurry, and another done +with much thinking. But they'll remain there for ever if we don't go +in. Come, mamma, you open the door." + +Then Mrs Dale did open the door, giving some little premonitory notice +with the handle, so that the couple inside might be warned of +approaching footsteps. Crofts had not escaped, either through the +window or up the chimney, but was seated in the middle of the room on +an empty box, just opposite to Bell, who was seated upon the lump of +carpeting. Bell still wore the checked apron as described by her +sister. What might have been the state of her hands I will not pretend +to say; but I do not believe that her lover had found anything amiss +with them. "How do you do, doctor?" said Mrs Dale, striving to use her +accustomed voice, and to look as though there were nothing of special +importance in his visit. "I have just come down from the Great House." + +"Mamma," said Bell, jumping up, "you must not call him doctor any more." + +"Must I not? Has any one undoctored him?" + +"Oh, mamma, you understand," said Bell. + +"I understand," said Lily, going up to the doctor, and giving him her +cheek to kiss, "he is to be my brother, and I mean to claim him as such +from this moment. I expect him to do everything for us, and not to call +a moment of his time his own." + +"Mrs Dale," said the doctor, "Bell has consented that it shall be so, +if you will consent." + +"There is but little doubt of that," said Mrs Dale. + +"We shall not be rich-" began the doctor. + +"I hate to be rich," said Bell. "I hate even to talk about it. I don't +think it quite manly even to think about it; and I'm sure it isn't +womanly." + +"Bell was always a fanatic in praise of poverty," said Mrs Dale. + +"No; I'm no fanatic. I'm very fond of money earned. I would like to +earn some myself if I knew how." + +"Let her go out and visit the lady patients," said Lily. "They do in +America." + +Then they all went into the parlour and sat round the fire talking as +though they were already one family. The proceeding, considering the +nature of it-that a young lady, acknowledged to be of great beauty and +known to be of good birth, had on the occasion been asked and given in +marriage-was carried on after a somewhat humdrum fashion, and in a +manner that must be called commonplace. Row different had it been when +Crosbie had made his offer! Lily for the time had been raised to a +pinnacle-a pinnacle which might be dangerous, but which was, at any +rate, lofty. With what a pretty speech had Crosbie been greeted! How it +had been felt by all concerned that the fortunes of the Small House +were in the ascendant-felt, indeed, with some trepidation, but still +with much inward triumph. How great had been the occasion, forcing Lily +almost to lose herself in wonderment at what had occurred! There was no +great occasion now, and no wonderment. No one, unless it was Crofts, +felt very triumphant. But they were all very happy, and were sure that +there was safety in their happiness. It was but the other day that one +of them had been thrown rudely to the ground through the treachery of a +lover, but yet none of them feared treachery from this lover. Bell was +as sure of her lot in life as though she were already being taken home +to her modest house in Guestwick. Mrs Dale already looked upon the man +as her son, and the party of four as they sat round the fire grouped +themselves as though they already formed one family. + +But Bell was not seated next to her lover. Lily, when she had once +accepted Crosbie, seemed to think that she could never be too near to +him. She had been in no wise ashamed of her love, and had shown it +constantly by some little caressing motion of her hand, leaning on his +arm, looking into his face, as though she were continually desirous of +some palpable assurance of his presence. It was not so at all with +Bell. She was happy in loving and in being loved, but she required no +overt testimonies of affection. I do not think it would, have made her +unhappy if some sudden need had required that Crofts should go to India +and back before they were married. The thing was settled, and that was +enough for her. But, on the other hand, when he spoke of the expediency +of an immediate marriage, she raised no difficulty. As her mother was +about to go into a new residence, it might be as well that that +residence should be fitted to the wants of two persons instead of +three. So they talked about chairs and tables, carpets and kitchens, in +a most unromantic, homely, useful manner! A considerable portion of the +furniture in the house they were now about to leave belonged to the +squire-or to the house rather, as they were in the habit of saying. The +older and more solid things-articles of household stuff that stand the +wear of half a century-had been in the Small House when they came to +it. There was, therefore, a question of buying new furniture for a +house in Guestwick-a question not devoid of importance to the possessor +of so moderate an income as that owned by Mrs Dale. In the first month +or two they were to live in lodgings, and their goods were to be stored +in some friendly warehouse. Under such circumstances would it not be +well that Bell's marriage should be so arranged that the lodging +question might not be in any degree complicated by her necessities? +This was the last suggestion made by Dr Crofts, induced no doubt by the +great encouragement he had received. + +"That would be hardly possible," said Mrs Dale. "It only wants three +weeks-and with the house in such a condition!" + +"James is joking," said Bell. + +"I was not joking at all," said the doctor. + +"Why not send for Mr Boyce, and carry her off at once on a pillion +behind you?" said Lily. "It's just the sort of thing for primitive +people to do, like you and Bell. All the same, Bell, I do wish you +could have been married from this house." + +"I don't think it will make much difference," said Bell. + +"Only if you would have waited till summer we would have had such a +nice party on the lawn. It sounds so ugly, being married from lodgings; +doesn't it, mamma?" + +"It doesn't sound at all ugly to me," said Bell. + +"I shall always call you Dame Commonplace when you're married," said +Lily. + +Then they had tea, and after tea Dr Crofts got on his horse and rode +back to Guestwick. + +"Now may I talk about him?" said Lily, as soon as the door was closed +behind his back. + +"No; you may not." + +"As if I hadn't known it all along! And wasn't it hard to bear that you +should have scolded me with such pertinacious austerity, and that I +wasn't to say a word in answer!" + +"I don't remember the austerity," said Mrs Dale. + +"Nor yet Lily's silence," said Bell. + +"But it's all settled now," said Lily, "and I'm downright happy. I +never felt more satisfaction-never, Bell!" + +"Nor did I," said her mother; "I may truly say that I thank God for +this good thing." + +CHAPTER LI + +JOHN EAMES DOES THINGS WHICH HE OUGHT NOT TO HAVE DONE + + +John Eames succeeded in making his bargain with Sir Raffle Buffle. Re +accepted the private secretaryship on the plainly expressed condition +that he was to have leave of absence for a fortnight towards the end of +April. Having arranged this he took an affectionate leave of Mr Love, +who was really much affected at parting with him, discussed valedictory +pots of porter in the big room, over which many wishes were expressed +that he might be enabled to compass the length and breadth of old +Ruffle's feet, uttered a last cutting joke at Mr Kissing as he met that +gentleman hurrying through the passages with an enormous ledger in his +hands, and then took his place in the comfortable arm-chair which +FitzHoward had been forced to relinquish. + +"Don't tell any of the fellows," said Fitz, "but I'm going to cut the +concern altogether. My governor wouldn't let me stop here in any other +place than that of private secretary." + +"Ah, your governor is a swell," said Eames. + +"I don't know about that," said FitzHoward. "Of course he has a good +deal of family interest. My cousin is to come in for St. Bungay at the +next election, and then I can do better than remain here." + +"That's a matter of course;" said Eames. "If my cousin were Member for +St Bungay, I'd never stand anything east of Whitehall." + +"And I don't mean," said FitzHoward. "This room, you know, is all very +nice; but it is a bore coming into the City every day. And then one +doesn't like to be rung for like a servant. Not that I mean to put you +out of conceit with it." + +"It will do very well for me," said Eames. "I never was very +particular." + +And so they parted, Eames assuming the beautiful arm-chair and the +peril of being asked to carry Sir Raffle's shoes, while FitzHoward took +the vacant desk in the big room till such time as some member of his +family should come into Parliament for the borough of St. Bungay. + +But Eames, though he drank the porter, and quizzed FitzHoward, and +gibed at Kissing, did not seat himself in his new arm-chair without +some serious thoughts. He was aware that his career in London had not +hitherto been one on which he could look back with self-respect. He had +lived, with friends whom he did not esteem; he had been idle, and +sometimes worse than idle; and he had allowed himself to be hampered by +the pretended love of a woman for whom he had never felt any true +affection, and by whom he had been cozened out of various foolish +promises which even yet were hanging over his head. As he sat with Sir +Raffle's notes before him, he thought almost with horror of the men and +women in Burton Crescent. It was now about three years since he had +first known Cradell, and he shuddered as he remembered how very poor a +creature was he whom he had chosen for his bosom friend. He could not +make for himself those excuses which we can make for him. He could not +tell himself that he had been driven by circumstances to choose a +friend, before he had learned to know what were the requisites for +which he should look. He had lived on terms of closest intimacy with +this man for three years, and now his eyes were opening themselves to +the nature of his friend's character. Cradell was in age three years +his senior. "I won't drop him," he said to himself; "but he is a poor +creature." He thought, too, of the Lupexes, of Miss Spruce, and of Mrs +Roper, and tried to imagine what Lily Dale would do if she found +herself among such people. It would be impossible that she should ever +so find herself. He might as well ask her to drink at the bar of a gin +shop as to sit down in Mrs Roper's drawing-room. If destiny had in +store for him such good fortune as that of calling Lily his own, it was +necessary that he should altogether alter his mode of life. + +In truth his hobbledehoyhood was dropping off from him, as its old skin +drops from a snake. Much of the feeling and something of the knowledge +of manhood was coming on him, and he was beginning to recognise to +himself that the future manner of his life must be to him a matter of +very serious concern. No such thought had come near him when he first +established himself in London. It seems to me that in this respect the +fathers and mothers of the present generation understand but little of +the inward nature of the young men for whom they are so anxious. They +give them credit for so much that it is impossible they should have, +and then deny them credit for so much that they possess! They expect +from them when boys the discretion of men-that discretion which comes +from thinking; but will not give them credit for any of that power of +thought which alone can ultimately produce good conduct. Young men are +generally thoughtful-more thoughtful than their seniors; but the fruit +of their thought is not as yet there. And then so little is done for +the amusement of lads who are turned loose into London at nineteen or +twenty. Can it be that any mother really expects her son to sit alone +evening after evening in a dingy room drinking bad tea, and reading +good books? And yet it seems that mothers do so expect-the very mothers +who talk about the thoughtlessness of youth! O ye mothers who from year +to year see your sons launched forth upon the perils of the world, and +who are so careful with your good advice, with under flannel shirting, +with books of devotion and tooth-powder, does it never occur to you +that provision should be made for amusement, for dancing, for parties, +for the excitement and comfort of women's society? That excitement your +sons will have, and if it be not provided by you of one kind, will +certainly be provided by themselves of another kind. If I were a mother +sending lads out into the world, the matter most in my mind would be +this-to what houses full of nicest girls could I get them admission, so +that they might do their flirting in good company. + +Poor John Eames had been so placed that he had been driven to do his +flirting in very bad company, and he was now fully aware that it had +been so. It wanted but two days to his departure for Guestwick Manor, +and as he sat breathing a while after the manufacture of a large batch +of Sir Raffle's notes, he made up his mind that he would give Mrs Roper +notice before he started, that on his return to London he would be seen +no more in Burton Crescent. He would break his bonds altogether +asunder, and if there should be any penalty for such breaking he would +pay it in what best manner he might be able. He acknowledged to himself +that he had been behaving badly to Amelia, confessing, indeed, more sin +in that respect than he had in truth committed; but this, at any rate, +was clear to him, that he must put himself on a proper footing in that +quarter before he could venture to speak to Lily Dale. + +As he came to a definite conclusion on this subject the little handbell +which always stood on Sir Raffle's table was sounded, and Eames was +called into the presence of the great man. + +"Ah," said Sir Raffle, leaning back in his arm-chair, and stretching +himself after the great exertions which he had been making-" Ah, let me +see! You are going out of town the day after tomorrow." + +"Yes, Sir Raffle, the day after tomorrow." + +"Ah! it's a great annoyance-a very great annoyance. But on such +occasions I never think of myself. I never have done so, and don't +suppose I ever shall. So you're going down to my old friend De Guest?" + +Eames was always angered when his new patron Sir Raffle talked of his +old friendship with the earl, and never gave the Commissioner any +encouragement. "I am going down to Guestwick," said he. + +"Ah! yes; to Guestwick Manor? I don't remember that I was ever there. I +dare say I may have been, but one forgets those things." + +"I never heard Lord de Guest speak of it." + +"Oh, dear, no. Why should his memory be better than mine? Tell him, +will you, how very glad I shall be to renew our old intimacy. I should +think nothing of running down to him for a day or two in the dull time +of the year-say in September or October. It's rather a coincidence our +both being interested about you-isn't it? + +"I'll be sure to tell him." + +"Mind you do. He's one of our most thoroughly independent noblemen, and +I respect him very highly. Let me see; didn't I ring my bell? What was +it I wanted? I think I rang my bell." + +"You did ring your bell." + +"Ah, yes; I know. I am going away, and I wanted my would you tell +Rafferty to bring me-my boots?" Whereupon Johnny rang the bell-not the +little handbell, but the other bell. "And I shan't be here tomorrow," +continued Sir Raffle. "I'll thank you to send my letters up to the +square; and if they should send down from the Treasury-but the +Chancellor would write, and in that case you'll send up his letter at +once by a special messenger, of course." + +"Here's Rafferty," said Eames, determined that he would not even sully +his lips with speaking of Sir Raffle's boots. + +"Oh, ah, yes; Rafferty, bring me my boots." + +"Anything else to say?" asked Eames. + +"No, nothing else. Of course you'll be careful to leave everything +straight behind you." + +"Oh, yes; I'll leave it all straight." Then Eames withdrew, so that he +might not be present at the interview between Sir Raffle and his boots. +"He'll not do," said Sir Raffle to himself. "He'll never do. He's not +quick enough-has no go in him. He's not man enough for the place. I +wonder why the earl has taken him by the hand in that way." + +Soon after the little episode of the boots Eames left his office, and +walked home alone to Burton Crescent. He felt that he had gained a +victory in Sir Raffle's room, but the victory there had been easy. Now +he had another battle on his hands, in which, as he believed, the +achievement of victory would be much more difficult. Amelia Roper was a +person much more to be feared than the Chief Commissioner. He had one +strong arrow in his quiver on which he would depend, if there should +come to him the necessity of giving his enemy a death-wound. During the +last week she had been making powerful love to Cradell, so as to +justify the punishment of desertion from a former lover. He would not +throw Cradell in her teeth if he could help it; but it was incumbent on +him to gain a victory, and if the worst should come to the worst, he +must use such weapons as destiny and the chance of war had given him. + +He found Mrs Roper in the dining-room as he entered, and immediately +began his work. "Mrs Roper," he said, "I'm going out of town the day +after tomorrow." + +"Oh, yes, Mr Eames, we know that. You're going as a visitor to the +noble mansion of the Earl de Guest." + +"I don't know about the mansion being very noble, but I'm going down +into the country for a fortnight. When I come back-" + +"When you come back, Mr Eames, I hope you'll find your room a deal more +comfortable. "I know it isn't quite what it should be for a gentleman +like you, and I've been thinking for some time past-" + +"But, Mrs Roper, I don't mean to come back here any more. It's just +that that I want to say to you." + +"Not come back to the crescent!" + +"No, Mrs Roper. A fellow must move sometimes, you know; and I'm sure +I've been very constant to you for a long time." + +"But where are you going, Mr Eames?" + +"Well; I haven't just made up my mind as yet. That is, it will depend +on what I may do-on what friends of mine may say down in the country. +You'll not think I'm quarrelling with you, Mrs Roper." + +"It's them Lupexes as have done it," said Mrs Roper, in her deep +distress. + +"No, indeed, Mrs Roper, nobody has done it." + +"Yes, it is; and I'm not going to blame you, Mr Eames. They've made the +house unfit for any decent young gentleman like you. I've been feeling +that all along; but it's hard upon a lone woman like me, isn't it, Mr +Eames? + +"But, Mrs Roper, the Lupexes have had nothing to do with my going." + +"Oh, yes, they have; I understand it all. But what could I do, Mr +Eames? I've been giving them warning every week for the last six +months; but the more I give them warning, the more they won't go. +Unless I were to send for a policeman, and have a row in the house-" + +"But I haven't complained of the Lupexes, Mrs Roper." + +"You wouldn't be quitting without any reason, Mr Eames. You are not +going to be married in earnest, are you, Mr Eames ?" + +"Not that I know of." + +"You may tell me; you may, indeed. I won't say a word-not to anybody. +It hasn't been my fault about Amelia. It hasn't really." + +"Who says there's been any fault?" + +"I can see, Mr Eames. Of course it didn't do for me to interfere. And +if you had liked her, I will say I believe she'd have made as good a +wife as any young man ever took; and she can make a few pounds go +farther than most girls. You can understand a mother's feelings; and if +there was to be anything, I couldn't spoil it; could I, now?" + +"But there isn't to be anything." + +"So I've told her for months past. I'm not going to say anything to +blame you; but young men ought to be very particular; indeed they +ought." Johnny did not choose to hint to the disconsolate mother that +it also behoved young women to be very particular, but he thought it. +"I've wished many a time, Mr Eames, that she had never come here; +indeed I have. But what's a mother to do? I couldn't put her outside +the door." Then Mrs Roper raised her apron up to her eyes, and began to +sob. + +"I'm very sorry if I've made any mischief," said Johnny. + +"It hasn't been your fault," continued the poor woman, from whom, as +her tears became uncontrollable, her true feelings forced themselves +and the real outpouring of her feminine nature. "Nor it hasn't been my +fault. But I knew what it would come to when I saw how she was going +on; and I told her so. I knew you wouldn't put up with the likes of +her." + +"Indeed, Mrs Roper, I've always had a great regard for her, and for you +too." + +"But you weren't going to marry her. I've told her so all along, and +I've begged her not to do it-almost on my knees I have; but she +wouldn't be said by me. She never would. She's always been that wilful +that I'd sooner have her away from me than with me. Though she's a good +young woman in the house-she is, indeed, Mr Eames-and there isn't a +pair of hands in it that works so hard; but it was no use my talking." + +"I don't think any harm has been done." + +"Yes, there has; great harm. It has made the place not respectable. +It's the Lupexes is the worst. There's Miss Spruce, who has been with +me for nine years-ever since I've had the house-she's been telling me +this morning that she means to go into the country. It's all the same +thing. I under stand it. I can see it. The house isn't respectable, as +it should be; and your mamma, if she were to know all, would have a +right to be angry with me. I did mean to be respectable, Mr Eames; I +did indeed." + +"Miss Spruce will think better of it." + +"You don't know what I've had to go through. There's none of them pays, +not regular-only she and you. She's been like the Bank of England, has +Miss Spruce." + +"I'm afraid I've not been very regular, Mrs Roper." + +"Oh, yes, you have. I don't think of a pound or two more or less at the +end of a quarter, if I'm sure to have it some day, The butcher-he +understands one's lodgers just as well as I do-if the money's really +coming, he'll wait; but he won't wait for such as them Lupexes, whose +money's nowhere. And there's Cradell; would you believe it, that fellow +owes me eight-and twenty pounds!" + +"Eight and twenty pounds!" + +"Yes, Mr Eames, eight-and-twenty pounds! He's a fool. It's them Lupexes +as have had his money. I know it. He don't talk of paying, and going +away. I shall be just left with him and the Lupexes on my hands; and +then the bailiffs may come and sell every stick about the place. I +won't say nay to them." Then she threw herself into the old horsehair +armchair, and gave way to her womanly sorrow. + +"I think I'll go upstairs, and get ready for dinner," said Eames. + +"And you must go away when you come back?" said Mrs Roper. + +"Well, yes, I'm afraid I must. I meant you to have a month's warning +from today. Of course I shall pay for the month." + +"I don't want to take any advantage; indeed, I don't. But I do hope +you'll leave your things. You can have them whenever you like. If +Chumpend knows that you and Miss Spruce are both going, of course he'll +be down upon me for his money." Chumpend was the butcher. But Eames +made no answer to this piteous plea. Whether or no he could allow his +old boots to remain in Burton Crescent for the next week or two, must +depend on the manner in which he might be received by Amelia Roper this +evening. + +When he came down to the drawing-room, there was no one there but Miss +Spruce. "A fine day, Miss Spruce," said he. + +"Yes, Mr Eames, it is a fine day for London; but don't you think the +country air is very nice?" + +"Give me the town," said Johnny, wishing to say a good word for poor +Mrs Roper, if it were possible. + +"You're a young man, Mr Eames; but I'm an old woman. That makes a +difference," said Miss Spruce. + +"Not much," said Johnny, meaning to be civil. "You don't like to be +dull any more than I do." + +"I like to be respectable, Mr Eames. I always have been respectable, Mr +Eames." This the old woman said almost in a whisper, looking anxiously +to see that the door had not been opened to other listening cars. + +"I'm sure Mrs Roper is very respectable." + +"Yes; Mrs Roper is respectable, Mr Eames; but there are some here +that-Hush-sh-sh!" And the old lady put her finger up to her lips. The +door opened and Mrs Lupex swam into the room. + +"How d'ye do, Miss Spruce? I declare you're always first. It's to get a +chance of having one of the young gentlemen to yourself, I believe. +What's the news in the city today, Mr Eames? In your position now of +course you hear all the news." + +"Sir Raffle Buffle has got a new pair of shoes. I don't know that for +certain, but I guess it from the time it took him to put them on." + +"Ah! now you're quizzing. That's always the way with you gentlemen when +you get a little up in the world. You don't think women are worth +talking to then, unless just for a joke or so." + +"I'd a great deal sooner talk to you, Mrs Lupex, than I would to Sir +Raffle Buffle." + +"It's all very well for you to say that. But we women know what such +compliments as those mean-don't we, Miss Spruce? A woman that's been +married five years as I have-or I may say six-doesn't expect much +attention from young men. And though I was young when I married-young +in years, that is-I'd seen too much and gone through too much to be +young in heart." This she said almost in a whisper; but Miss Spruce +heard it, and was confirmed in her belief that Burton Crescent was no +longer respectable. + +"I don't know what you were then, Mrs Lupex," said Eames; "but you're +young enough now for anything." + +"Mr Eames, I'd sell all that remains of my youth at a cheap rate-at a +very cheap rate, if I could only be sure of-" + +"Sure of what, Mrs Lupex?" + +"The undivided affection of the one person that I loved. That is all +that is necessary to a woman's happiness." + +"And isn't Lupex-" + +"Lupex! But hush, never mind. I should not have allowed myself to be +betrayed into an expression of feeling. Here's your friend Mr Cradell. +Do you know I sometimes wonder what you find in that man to be so fond +of him." Miss Spruce saw it all, and heard it all, and positively +resolved upon moving herself to those two small rooms at Dulwich. + +Hardly a word was exchanged between Amelia and Eames before dinner. +Amelia still devoted herself to Cradell, and Johnny saw that that +arrow, if it should be needed, would be a strong weapon. Mrs Roper they +found seated at her place at the dining-table, and Eames could perceive +the traces of her tears. Poor woman! Few positions in life could be +harder to bear than hers! To be ever tugging at others for money that +they could not pay; to be ever tugged at for money which she could not +pay; to desire respectability for its own sake, but to be driven to +confess that it was a luxury beyond her means; to put up with +disreputable belongings for the sake of lucre, and then not to get the +lucre, but be driven to feel that she was ruined by the attempt! How +many Mrs Ropers there are who from year to year sink down and fall +away, and no one knows whither they betake themselves! One fancies that +one sees them from time to time at the corners of the streets in +battered bonnets and thin gowns, with the tattered remnants of old +shawls upon their shoulders, still looking as though they had within +them a faint remembrance of long-distant respectability. With anxious +eyes they peer about, as though searching in the streets for other +lodgers. Where do they get their daily morsels of bread, and their poor +cups of thin tea-their cups of thin tea, with perhaps a pennyworth of +gin added to it, if Providence be good! Of this state of things Mrs +Roper had a lively appreciation, and now, poor woman, she feared that +she was reaching it, by the aid of the Lupexes. On the present occasion +she carved her joint of meat in silence, and sent out her slices to the +good guests that would leave her, and to the bad guests that would +remain, with apathetic impartiality. What was the use now of doing +favour to one lodger or disfavour to another? Let them take their +mutton-they who would pay for, it and they who would not. She would not +have the carving of many more joints in that house if Chumpend acted up +to all the threats which he had uttered to her that morning. + +The reader may, perhaps, remember the little back room behind the +dining parlour. A description was given in some former pages of an +interview which was held between Amelia and her lover. It was in that +room that all the interviews of Mrs Roper's establishment had their +existence. A special room for interviews is necessary in all households +of a mixed nature. If a man lives alone with his wife, he can have his +interviews where he pleases. Sons and daughters, even when they are +grown up, hardly create the necessity of an interview-chamber, though +some such need may he felt if the daughters are marriageable and +independent in their natures. But when the family becomes more +complicated than this, if an extra young man be introduced, or an aunt +comes into residence, or grown up children by a former wife interfere +with the domestic simplicity, then such accommodation becomes quite +indispensable. No woman would think of taking in lodgers without such a +room; and this room there was at Mrs Roper's, very small and dingy, but +still sufficient-just behind the dining parlour and opposite to the +kitchen stairs. Hither, after dinner, Amelia was summoned. She had just +seated herself between Mrs Lupex and Miss Spruce, ready to do battle +with the former because she would stay, and with the latter because she +would go, when she was called out by the servant girl. + +"Miss Mealyer, Miss Mealyer-sh-sh-sh! "And Amelia, looking round, saw a +large red hand beckoning to her. "He's down there," said Jemima, as +soon as her young mistress had joined her, "and wants to see you most +partic'lar." + +"Which of 'em? "asked Amelia, in a whisper. + +"Why, Mr Heames, to be sure. Don't you go and have anythink to say to +the other one, Miss Mealyer, pray don't; he ain't no good; he ain't +indeed." + +Amelia stood still for a moment on the landing, calculating whether it +would be well for her to have the interview, or well to decline it. Her +objects were two-or, rather, her object was in its nature twofold. She +was, naturally, anxious to drive John Eames to desperation; and anxious +also, by some slight added artifice, to make sure of Cradell if Eames's +desperation did not have a very speedy effect. She agreed with Jemima's +criticism in the main, but she did not go quite so far as to think that +Cradell was no good at all. Let it be Eames, if Eames were possible; +but let the other string be kept for use if Eames were not possible. +Poor girl! in coming to this resolve she had not done so without agony. +She had a heart, and with such power as it gave her, she loved John +Eames. But the world had been hard to her; knocking her about hither +and thither unmercifully; threatening, as it now threatened, to take +from her what few good things she enjoyed. When a girl is so +circumstanced she cannot afford to attend to her heart. She almost +resolved not to see Eames on the present occasion, thinking that he +might be made the more desperate by such refusal, and remembering also +that Cradell was in the house and would know of it. + +"He's there a-waiting, Miss Mealyer. Why don't yer come down?" and +Jemima plucked her young mistress by the arm. + +"I am coming," said Amelia. And with dignified steps she descended to +the interview. + +"Here she is, Mr Heames," said the girl. And then Johnny found himself +alone with his lady-love. + +"You have sent for me, Mr Eames," she said, giving her head a little +toss, and turning her face away from him. "I was engaged upstairs, but +I thought it uncivil not to come down to you as you sent for me so +special." + +"Yes, Miss Roper, I did want to see you very particularly." + +"Oh, dear!" she exclaimed, and he understood fully that the exclamation +referred to his having omitted the customary use of her Christian name. + +"I saw your mother before dinner, and I told her that I am going away +the day after tomorrow." + +"We all know about that-to the earl's, of course!" And then there was +another chuck of her head. + +"And I told her also that I had made up my mind not to come back to +Burton Crescent." + +"What! leave the house altogether!" + +"Well; yes. A fellow must make a change sometimes, you know." + +"And where are you going, John?" + +"That I don't know as yet." + +"Tell me the truth, John; are you going to be married? Are you-going-to +marry-that young woman-Mr Crosbie's leavings? I demand to have an +answer at once. Are you going to marry her?" + +He had determined very resolutely that nothing she might say should +make him angry, but when she thus questioned him about "Crosbie's +leavings" he found it very difficult to keep his temper. "I have not +come," said he, "to speak to you about any one but ourselves." + +"That put-off won't do with me, sir. You are not to treat any girl you +may please in that sort of way-oh, John!" Then she looked at him as +though she did not know whether to fly at him and cover him with +kisses, or to fly at him and tear his hair. + +"I know I haven't behaved quite as I should have done," he began. + +"Oh, John!" and she shook her head. "You mean, then, to tell me that +you are going to marry her?" + +"I mean to say nothing of the kind-I only mean to say that I am going +away from Burton Crescent." + +"John Eames, I wonder what you think will come to you! Will you answer +me this; have I had a promise from you-a distinct promise, over and +over again, or have I not?" + +"I don't know about a distinct promise-" + +"Well, well! I did think that you was a gentleman that would not go +back from your word. I did think that. I did think that you would never +put a young lady to the necessity of bringing forward her own letters +to prove that she is not expecting more than she has a right! You don't +know! And that, after all that has been between us! John Eames!" And +again it seemed to him as though she were about to fly. + +"I tell you that I know I haven't behaved well. What more can I say?" + +"What more can you say? Oh, John! to ask me such a question! If you +were a man you would know very well what more to say. But all you +private secretaries are given to deceit, as the sparks fly upwards. +However, I despise you-I do, indeed. I despise you." + +"If you despise me, we might as well shake hands and part at once. I +dare say that will be best. One doesn't like to be despised, of course; +but sometimes one can't help it." And then he put out his hand to her. + +"And is this to be the end of all?"she said, taking it. + +"Well, yes; I suppose so. You say I'm despised." + +"You shouldn't take up a poor girl in that way for a sharp word-not +when she is suffering as I am made to suffer. If you only think of +it-think what I have been expecting!" And now Amelia began to cry, and +to look as though she were going to fall into his arms. + +"It is better to tell the truth," he said; "isn't it?" + +"But it shouldn't be the truth." + +"But it is the truth. I couldn't do it. I should ruin myself and you +too, and we should never be happy." + +"I should be happy-very happy indeed." At this moment the poor girl's +tears were unaffected, and her words were not artful. For a minute or +two her heart-her actual heart was allowed to prevail. + +"It cannot be, Amelia. Will you not say good-bye?" + +"Good-bye," she said, leaning against him as she spoke. + +"I do so hope you will be happy," he said. And then, putting his arm +round her waist, he kissed her; which he certainly ought not to have +done. + +When the interview was over, he escaped out into the crescent, and as +he walked down through the squares-Woburn Square, and Russell Square, +and Bedford Square-towards the heart of London, he felt himself elated +almost to a state of triumph. He had got himself well out of his +difficulties, and now he would be ready for his love-tale to Lily. + +CHAPTER LII + +THE FIRST VISIT TO THE GUESTWICK BRIDGE + + +When John Eames arrived at Guestwick Manor, he was first welcomed by +Lady Julia. "My dear Mr Eames," she said, "I cannot tell you how glad +we are to see you." After that she always called him John, and treated +him throughout his visit with wonderful kindness. No doubt that affair +of the bull had in some measure produced this feeling; no doubt, also, +she was well disposed to the man who she hoped might be accepted as a +lover by Lily Dale. But I am inclined to think that the fact of his +having beaten Crosbie had been the most potential cause of this +affection for our hero on the part of Lady Julia. Ladies-especially +discreet old ladies, such as Lady Julia de Guest-are bound to entertain +pacific theories, and to condemn all manner of violence. Lady Julia +would have blamed any one who might have advised Eames to commit an +assault upon Crosbie. But, nevertheless, deeds of prowess are still +dear to the female heart, and a woman, be she ever so old and discreet, +understands and appreciates the summary justice which may be done by +means of a thrashing. Lady Julia, had she been called upon to talk of +it, would undoubtedly have told Eames that he had committed a fault in +striking Mr Crosbie; but the deed had been done, and Lady Julia became +very fond of John Eames. + +"Vickers shall show you your room, if you like to go upstairs; but +you'll find my brother close about the house if you choose to go out; I +saw him not half an hour since." But John seemed to he well satisfied +to sit in his arm-chair over the fire, and talk to his hostess; so +neither of them moved. + +"And now that you're a private secretary, how do you like it?" + +"I like the work well enough; only I don't like the man, Lady Julia. +But I shouldn't say so, because he is such an intimate friend of your +brother's." + +"An intimate friend of Theodore's!-Sir Raffle Buffle!" + +Lady Julia stiffened her back and put on a serious face, not being +exactly pleased at being told that the Earl de Guest had any such +intimate friend. + +"At any rate he tells me so about four times a day, Lady Julia. And he +particularly wants to come down here next September." + +"Did he tell you that, too? + +"Indeed he did. You can't believe what a goose he is! Then his voice +sounds like a cracked bell; it's the most disagreeable voice you ever +heard in your life. And one has always to be on one's guard lest he +should make one do something that is-is-that isn't quite the thing for +a gentleman. You understand-what the messenger ought to do." + +"You shouldn't be too much afraid of your own dignity." + +"No, I'm not. If Lord de Guest were to ask me to fetch him his shoes, +I'd run to Guestwick and back for them and think nothing of it-just +because he's my friend. He'd have a right to send me. But I'm not going +to do such things as that for Sir Raffle Buffle." +"Fetch him his shoes! + +"That's what FitzHoward had to do, and he didn't like it." + +"Isn't Mr FitzHoward nephew to the Duchess of St Bungay?" + +"Nephew, or cousin, or something." + +"Dear me!" said Lady Julia, "what a horrible man!" And in this way John +Eames and her ladyship became very intimate. + +There was no one at dinner at the Manor that day but the earl and his +sister and their single guest. The earl when he came in was very warm +in his welcome, slapping his young friend on the back, and poking jokes +at him with a goodhumoured if not brilliant pleasantry. + +"Thrashed anybody lately, John?" + +"Nobody to speak of," said Johnny. + +"Brought your nightcap down for your out-o'-doors nap?" + +"No, but I've got a grand stick for the bull," said Johnny. + +"Ah! that's no joke now, I can tell you," said the earl. "We had to +sell him, and it half broke my heart. We don't know what had come to +him, but he became quite unruly after that-knocked Darvel down in the +straw-yard! It was a very bad business-a very bad business, indeed! +Come, go and dress. Do you remember how you came down to dinner that +day? I shall never forget how Crofts stared at you. Come, you've only +got twenty minutes, and you London fellows always want an hour." + +"He's entitled to some consideration now he's a private secretary," +said Lady Julia. + +"Bless us all! yes; I. forgot that. Come, Mr Private Secretary, don't +stand on the grandeur of your neck-tie today, as there's nobody here +but ourselves. You shall have an opportunity tomorrow." + +Then Johnny was handed over to the groom of the chambers, and exactly +in twenty minutes he re-appeared in the drawing-room. + +As soon as Lady Julia had left them after dinner, the earl began to +explain his plan for the coming campaign. "I'll tell you now what I +have arranged," said he. "The squire is to be here tomorrow with his +eldest niece-your Miss Lily's sister, you know." + +"What, Bell?" + +"Yes, with Bell, if her name is Bell. She's a very pretty girl, too. I +don't know whether she's not the prettiest of the two, after all." + +"That's a matter of opinion." + +"Just so, Johnny; and do you stick to your own. They're coming here for +three or four days. Lady Julia did ask Mrs Dale and Lily. I wonder +whether you'll let me call her Lily?" + +"Oh, dear! I wish I might have the power of letting you." + +"That's just the battle that you've got to fight. But the mother and +the younger sister wouldn't come. Lady Julia says it's all right-that, +as a matter of course, she wouldn't come when she heard you were to be +here. I don't quite understand it. In my days the young girls were +ready enough to go where they knew they'd meet their lovers, and I +never thought any the worse of them for it." + +"It wasn't because of that," said Eames. + +"That's what Lady Julia says, and I always find her to be right in +things of that sort. And she says you'll have a better chance in going +over there than you would here, if she were in the same house with you. +If I was going to make love to a girl, of course I'd sooner have her +close to me-staying in the same house. I should think it the best fun +in the world. And we might have had a dance, and all that kind of +thing. But I couldn't make her come, you know." + +"Oh, no; of course not." + +"And Lady Julia thinks that it's best as it is. You must go over, you +know, and get the mother on your side, if you can. I take it, the truth +is this-you mustn't be angry with me, you know, for saying it." + +"You may be sure of that." + +"I suppose she was fond of that fellow, Crosbie. She can't be very fond +of him now, I should think, after the way he. has treated her; but +she'll find a difficulty in making her confession that she really likes +you better than she ever liked him. Of course that's what you'll want +her to say." + +"I want her to say that she'll be my wife-some day." + +"And when she has agreed to the some day, then you'll begin to press +her to agree to your day-eh, sir? My belief is you'll bring her round. +Poor girl! why should she break her heart when a decent fellow like you +will only be too glad to make her a happy woman?" And in this way the +earl talked to Eames till the latter almost believed that the +difficulties were vanishing from out of his path. "Could it be +possible," he asked himself, as he went to bed, "that in a fortnight's +time Lily Dale should have accepted him as her future husband?" Then he +remembered that day on which Crosbie, with the two girls, had called at +his mother's house, when in the bitterness of his heart, he had sworn +to himself that he would always regard Crosbie as his enemy. Since then +the world had gone well with him; and he had no longer any bitter +feeling against Crosbie. That matter had been arranged on the platform +of the Paddington Station. He felt that if Lily would now accept him he +could almost shake hands with Crosbie. The episode in his life and in +Lily's would have been painful; but he would learn to look back upon +that without regret, if Lily could be taught to believe that a kind +fate had at last given her to the better of her two lovers. "I'm afraid +she won't bring herself to forget him," he had said to the earl. +"She'll only be too happy to forget him," the earl had answered, "if +you can induce her to begin the attempt. Of course it is very bitter at +first-all the world knew about it; but, poor girl, she is not to be +wretched for ever, because of that. Do you go about your work with some +little confidence, and I doubt not but what you'll have your way. You +have everybody in your favour-the squire, her mother, and all." While +such words as these were in his ears how could he fail to hope and to +be confident? While he was sitting cosily over his bedroom fire he +resolved that it should be as the earl had said. But when he got up on +the following morning, and stood shivering as he came out of his bath, +he could not feel the same confidence. "Of course I shall go to her," +he said to himself, "and make a plain story of it. But I know what her +answer will be. She will tell me that she cannot forget him." Then his +feelings towards Crosbie were not so friendly as they had been on the +previous evening. + +He did not visit the Small House on that, his first day. It had been +thought better that he should first meet the squire and Bell at +Guestwick Manor, so he postponed his visit to Mrs Dale till the next +morning. + +"Go when you like," said the earl. "There's the brown cob for you to do +what you like with him while you are here." + +"I'll go and see my mother," said John; "but I won't take the cob +today. If you'll let me have him tomorrow, I'll ride to Allington." So +he walked off to Guestwick by himself. + +He knew well every yard of the ground over which he went, remembering +every gate and stile and greensward from the time of his early boyhood. +And now as he went along through his old haunts, he could not but look +back and think of the thoughts which had filled his mind in his earlier +wanderings. As I have said before, in some of these pages, no walks +taken by the man are so crowded with thought as those taken by the boy. +He had been early taught to understand that the world to him would be +very hard; that he had nothing to look to but his own exertions, and +that those exertions would not, unfortunately, be backed by any great +cleverness of his own. I do not know that anybody had told him that he +was a fool; but he had come to understand, partly through his own +modesty, and partly, no doubt, through the somewhat obtrusive +diffidence of his mother, that he was less sharp than other lads. It is +probably true that he had come to his sharpness later in life than is +the case with many young men. He had not grown on the sunny side of the +wall. Before that situation in the Income-tax Office had fallen in his +way, very humble modes of life had offered themselves-or, rather, had +not offered themselves for his acceptance. He had endeavoured to become +an usher at a commercial seminary, not supposed to be in a very +thriving condition; but he had been, luckily, found deficient in his +arithmetic. There had been some chance of his going into the +leather-warehouse of Messrs Basil and Pigskin, but those gentlemen had +required a premium, and any payment of that kind had been quite out of +his mother's power. A country attorney, who had known the family for +years, had been humbly solicited, the widow almost kneeling before him +with tears, to take Johnny by the hand and make a clerk of him; but the +attorney had discovered that Master Johnny Eames was not supposed to be +sharp, and would have none of him. During those days, those gawky, +gainless, unadmired days, in which he had wandered about the lanes of +Guestwick as his only amusement, and had composed hundreds of rhymes in +honour of Lily Dale which no human eye but his own had ever seen, he +had come to regard himself as almost a burden upon the earth. Nobody +seemed to want him. His own mother was very anxious; but her anxiety +seemed to him to indicate a continual desire to get rid of him. For +hours upon hours he would fill his mind with castles in the air, +dreaming of wonderful successes in the midst of which Lily Dale always +reigned as a queen. He would carry on the same story in his imagination +from month to month, almost contenting himself with such ideal +happiness. Had it not been for the possession of that power, what +comfort could there have been to him in his life? There are lads of +seventeen who can find happiness in study, who can busy themselves in +books and be at their ease among the creations of other minds. These +are they who afterwards become well-informed men. It was not so with +John Eames. He had never been studious. The perusal of a novel was to +him in those days a slow affair; and of poetry he read but little, +storing up accurately in his memory all that he did read. But he +created for himself his own romance, though to the eye a most +unromantic youth; and he wandered through the Guestwick woods with many +thoughts of which they who knew him best knew nothing. All this he +thought of now as, with devious steps, he made his way towards his old +home-with very devious steps, for he went backwards through the woods +by a narrow path which led right away from the town down to a little +water-course, over which stood a wooden foot-bridge with a rail. He +stood on the centre of the plank, at a spot which he knew well, and +rubbing his hand upon the rail, cleaned it for the space of a few +inches of the vegetable growth produced by the spray of the water. +There, rudely carved in the wood, was still the word LILY. When he cut +those letters she had been almost a child. "I wonder whether she will +come here with me and let me show it to her," he said to himself. Then +he took out his knife and cleared the cuttings of the letters, and +having done so, leaned upon the rail, and looked down upon the running +water. How well things in the world had gone for him! How well! And yet +what would it all be if Lily would not come to him? How well the world +had gone for him! In those days when he stood there carving the girl's +name everybody had seemed to regard him as a heavy burden, and he had +so regarded himself. Now he was envied by many, respected by many, +taken by the. hand as a friend by those high in the world's esteem. +When he had come near the Guestwick Mansion in his old walks-always, +however, keeping at a great distance lest the grumpy old lord should. +be down upon him and scold him-he had little dreamed that he and the +grumpy old lord would ever be together on such familiar terms, that he +would tell to that lord more of his private thoughts than to any other +living being; yet it had come to that. The grumpy old lord had now told +him that that gift of money was to be his whether Lily Dale accepted +him or no. "Indeed, the thing's done," said the grumpy lord, pulling +out from his pocket certain papers, "and you've got to receive the +dividends as they become due." Then, when Johnny had expostulated-as, +indeed, the circumstances had left him no alternative but to +expostulate-the earl had roughly bade him hold his tongue, telling him +that he would have to fetch Sir Raffle's boots directly he got back to +London. So the conversation had quickly turned itself away to Sir +Raffle, whom they had both ridiculed with much satisfaction. "If he +finds his way down here in September, Master Johnny, or in any other +month either, you may fit my head with a foolscap. Not remember, +indeed! Is it not wonderful that any man should make himself so mean +fool? All this was thought over again, as Eames leaned upon the bridge. +He remembered every word, and remembered many other words-earlier +words, spoken years ago, filling him with desolation as to the +prospects of his life. It had seemed that his friends had united in +prophesying that the outlook into the world for him was hopeless, and +that the earning of bread must be for ever beyond his power. And now +his lines had fallen to him in very pleasant places, and he was among +those whom the world had determined to caress. And yet, what. would it +all be if Lily would not share his happiness? When he had carved that +name on the rail, his love for Lily had been an idea. It had now become +a reality which might probably be full of pain. If it were so-if such +should be the result, of his wooing-would not those old dreamy days +have been better than these-the days of his success? + +It was one o'clock by the time that he reached his mother's house, and +he found her and his sister in a troubled and embarrassed state. "Of +course you know, John," said his mother, as soon as their first +embraces were over," that we are going to dine at the Manor this +evening?" But he did not know it, neither the earl nor Lady Julia +having said anything on the subject. "Of course we are going," said Mrs +Eames, "and it was so very kind. But I've never been out to such a +house for so many years, John, and I do feel in such a twitter. I dined +there once, soon after we were married; but I never have been there +since that." + +"It's not the earl I mind, but Lady Julia," said Mary Eames. + +"She's the most good-natured woman in the world," said Johnny. + +"Oh, dear; people say she is so cross!" + +"That's because people don't know her. If I was asked who is the +kindest-hearted woman I know in the world, I think I should say Lady +Julia de Guest. I think I should." + +"Ah! but then they're so fond of you," said the admiring mother. "You +saved his lordship's life-under Providence." + +"That's all bosh, mother. You ask Dr Crofts. He knows them as well as I +do." + +"Dr Crofts is going to marry Bell Dale," said Mary; and then the +conversation was turned from the subject of Lady Julia's perfections, +and the awe inspired by the earl. + +"Crofts going to marry Bell!" exclaimed Eames, thinking almost with +dismay of the doctor's luck in thus getting himself accepted all at +once, while he had been suing with the constancy + +almost of a Jacob. + +"Yes," said Mary; "and they say that she has refused her cousin +Bernard, and that, therefore, the squire is taking away the house from +them. You know they're all coming into Guestwick." + +"Yes, I know they are. But I don't believe that the squire is taking +away the house." + +"Why should they come then? Why should they give up such a charming +place as that?" + +"Rent-free!" said Mrs Eames. + +"I don't know why they should come away; but I can't believe the squire +is turning them out; at any rate not for that reason." The squire was +prepared to advocate John's suit, and therefore John was bound to do +battle on the squire's behalf. + +"He is a very stern man," said Mrs Eames, and they say that since that +affair of poor Lily's he has been more cross than ever with them. As +far as I know, it was not Lily's fault." + +"Poor Lily!" said Mary. "I do pity her. If I was her. I should hardly +know how to show my face; I shouldn't, indeed." + +"And why shouldn't she show her face?" said John, in an angry tone. +"What has she done to he ashamed of? Show her face indeed! I cannot +understand the spite which one woman will sometimes have to another." + +"There is no spite, John; and it's very wrong of you to say so," said +Mary, defending herself. + +"But it is a very unpleasant thing for a girl to be jilted. All the +world knows that she was engaged to him." + +"And all the world knows-" But he would not proceed to declare that all +the world knew that also Crosbie had been well thrashed for his +baseness. It would not become him to mention that even before his +mother and sister. All the world did know it; all the world that cared +to know anything of the matter-except Lily Dale herself. Nobody had +ever yet told Lily Dale of that occurrence at the Paddington Railway +Station, and it was well for John that her friends and his had been so +discreet. + +"Oh, of course you are her champion," said Mary. "And I didn't mean to +say anything unkind. Indeed I didn't. Of course it was a misfortune." + +"I think it was the best piece of good fortune that could have happened +to her, not to marry a d-- scoundrel like-" + +"Oh, John!" exclaimed Mrs Eames. + +"I beg your pardon, mother. But it isn't swearing to call such a man as +that a d-- scoundrel." + +And he particularly emphasised the naughty word, thinking that thereby +he would add to its import, and take away from its naughtiness. "But we +won't talk any more about him. I hate the man's very name. I hated him +the first moment that I saw him, and knew that he was a blackguard from +his look. And I don't believe a word about the squire having been cross +to them. Indeed I know he has been the reverse of cross. So Bell is +going to marry Dr Crofts!" + +"There is no doubt on earth about that," said Mary. "And they say that +Bernard Dale is going abroad with his regiment." + +Then John discussed with his mother his duties as private secretary, +and his intention of leaving Mrs Roper's house. "I suppose it isn't +nice enough for you now, John," said his mother. + +"It never was very nice, mother, to tell you the truth. There were +people there- But you mustn't think I am turning up my nose because I'm +getting grand. I don't want to live any better than we all lived at Mrs +Roper's; but she took in persons that were not agreeable. There is a Mr +and Mrs Lupex there." Then he described something of their life in +Burton Crescent, but did not say much about Amelia Roper. Amelia Roper +had not made her appearance in Guestwick, as he had once feared that +she would do; and therefore it did not need that he should at present +make known to his mother that episode in his life. + +When he got back to the Manor House he found that Mr Dale and his niece +had arrived. They were both sitting. with Lady Julia when he went into +the morning room, and Lord de Guest was standing over the fire talking +to them. Eames as he came among them felt terribly conscious of his +position, as though all there were aware that he had been brought down, +from London on purpose to make a declaration of love-as, indeed, all of +them were aware of that fact. Bell, though no one had told her so in +direct words, was as sure of it as the others. + +"Here comes the prince of matadores," said the earl. + +"No, my lord; you're the prince. I'm only your first follower." Though +he could contrive that his words should be gay, his looks were +sheepish, and when he gave his hand to the squire it was only by a +struggle that he could bring himself to look straight into the old +man's face. + +"I'm very glad to see you, John," said the squire, "very glad indeed." + +"And so am I," said Bell. "I have been so happy to hear that you have +been promoted at your office, and so is mamma." + +"I hope Mrs Dale is quite well," said he-"and Lily." The word had been +pronounced, but it had been done with so manifest an effort that all in +the room were conscious of it, and paused as Bell prepared her little +answer. + +"My sister has. been very ill, you know-with scarlatina. But she has +recovered with wonderful quickness, and is nearly well again now. She +will be so glad to see you if you will go over." + +"Yes; I shall certainly go over," said John. + +"And now shall I show you your room, Miss Dale?" said Lady Julia. And +so the party was broken up, and the ice had been broken. + +CHAPTER LIII + +LOQUITUR HOPKINS + + +The squire had been told that his niece Bell had accepted Dr Crofts, +and he had signified a sort of acquiescence in the arrangement, saying +that if it were to be so, he had nothing to say against Dr Crofts. He +spoke this in a melancholy tone of voice, wearing on his face that look +of subdued sorrow. which was now habitual to him. It was to Mrs Dale +that he spoke on the subject. "I could have wished that it might have +been otherwise," he said, "as you are well aware. I had family reasons +for wishing that it might be otherwise. But I have nothing to say +against it. Dr Crofts, as her husband, shall be welcome to my house." +Mrs Dale, who had expected much worse than this, began to thank him for +his kindness, and to say that she also would have preferred to see her +daughter married to her cousin. "But in such a matter the decision +should be left entirely to the girl. Don't you think so? + +"I have not a word to say against her," he repeated. Then Mrs Dale left +him, and told her daughter that her uncle's manner of receiving the +news had been, for him, very gracious. + +"You were his favourite, but Lily will be so now," said Mrs Dale. + +"I don't care a bit about that-or, rather, I do care, and think it will +be in every way better. But as I, who am the naughty one, will go away, +and as Lily, who is the good one, will remain with you, doesn't it +almost seem a pity that you should be leaving the house?" + +Mrs Dale thought it was almost a pity, but she could not say so now. +"You think Lily will remain," she said. + +"Yes, mamma; I feel sure she will." + +"She was always very fond of John Eames-and he is doing so well." + +"It will be of no use, mamma. She is fond of him-very fond. In a sort +of a way she loves him-so well, that I feel sure she never mentions his +name without some inward reference to her old childish thoughts and +fancies. If he had come before Mr Crosbie it would have all been well +with her. But she cannot do it now. Her pride would prevent her, even +if her heart permitted it. Oh! dear; it's very wrong of me to say so, +after all that I have said before; but I almost wish you were not +going. Uncle Christopher seems to be less hard than he used to be; and +as I was the sinner, and as I am disposed of-" + +"It is too late now, my dear." + +"And we should neither of us have the courage to mention it to Lily," +said Bell. + +On the following morning the squire sent for his sister-in-law, as it +was his wont to do when necessity came for any discussion on matters of +business. This was perfectly understood between them, and such sending +was not taken as indicating any lack of courtesy on the part of Mr +Dale. "Mary," he said, as soon as Mrs Dale was seated, "I shall do for +Bell exactly what I have proposed to do for Lily. I had intended more +than that once, of course. But then it would all have gone into +Bernard's pocket; as it is, it shall make no difference between them. +They shall each have a hundred a year-that is, when they marry. You had +better tell Crofts to speak to me." + +"Mr Dale, he doesn't expect it. He does not expect a penny." + +"So much the better for him; and, indeed, so much the better for her. +He won't make her the less welcome to his home because she brings some +assistance to it." + +"We have never thought of it-any of us. The offer has come so suddenly +that I don't know what I ought to say." + +"Say-nothing. If you choose to make me a return for it-but I am only +doing what I conceive to be my duty, and have no right to ask for a +kindness in return." + +"But what kindness can we show you, Mr Dale?" + +"Remain in that house." In saying these last words he spoke as though +he were again angry-as though he were again laying down the law to +them-as though he were telling her of a duty which was due to him and +incumbent on her. His voice was as stern and his face as acid as ever. +He said that he was asking for a kindness; but surely no man ever asked +for kindness in a voice so peremptory. "Remain in that house." Then he +turned himself in towards his table as though he had no more to say. + +But Mrs Dale was beginning, now at last, to understand something of his +mind and real character. He could be affectionate and forbearing in his +giving; but when asking, he could not be otherwise than stern. Indeed, +he could not ask; he could only demand. + +"We have done so much now," Mrs Dale began to plead. + +"Well, well, well. I did not mean to speak about that. Things are +unpacked easier than they are packed. But, however- Never mind. Bell is +to go with me this afternoon to Guestwick Manor. Let her be up here at +two. Grimes can bring her box round, I suppose." + +"Oh, yes: of course." + +"And don't be talking to her about money before she starts. I had +rather you didn't-you understand. But when you see Crofts, tell him to +come to me. Indeed, he'd better come at once, if this thing is to go on +quickly." + +It may easily be understood that Mrs Dale would disobey the injunctions +contained in the squire's last words. It was quite out of the question +that she should return to her daughters and not tell them the result of +her morning's interview with their uncle. A hundred a year in the +doctor's modest household would make all the difference between plenty +and want, between modest plenty and endurable want. Of course she told +them, giving Bell to understand that she must dissemble so far as to +pretend ignorance of the affair. + +"I shall thank him at once," said Bell; "and tell him that I did not at +all expect it, but am not too proud to accept it." + +"Pray don't, my dear; not just now. I am breaking a sort of promise in +telling you at all-only I could not keep it to myself. And he has so +many things to worry him! Though he says nothing about it now, he has +half broken his heart about you and Bernard." Then, too, Mrs Dale told +the girls what request the squire had just made, and the manner in +which he had made it. "The tone of his voice as he spoke brought tears +into my eyes. I almost wish we had not done anything." + +"But, mamma," said Lily, "what difference can it make to him? You know +that our presence near him was always a trouble to him. He never really +wanted us. He liked to have Bell there when he thought that Bell would +marry his pet." + +"Don't be unkind, Lily." + +"I don't mean to be unkind. Why shouldn't Bernard be his pet? I love +Bernard dearly, and always thought it the best point in Uncle +Christopher that he was so fond of him. I knew, you know, that it was +no use. Of course I knew it, as I understood all about somebody else. +But Bernard is his pet." + +"He's fond of you all, in his own way," said Mrs Dale. + +"But is he fond of you?-that's the question," said Lily. "We could have +forgiven him anything done to us, and have put up with any words he +might have spoken to us, because he regards us as children. His giving +a hundred a year to Bell won't make you comfortable in this house if he +still domineers over you. If a neighbour be neighbourly, near +neighbourhood is very nice. But Uncle Christopher has not been +neighbourly. He has wanted to be more than an uncle to us, on condition +that he might be less than a brother to you. Bell and I have always +felt that his regard on such terms was not worth having." + +"I almost feel that we have been wrong," said Mrs Dale; "but in truth I +never thought that the matter would be to him one of so much moment." + +When Bell had gone, Mrs Dale and Lily were not disposed to continue +with much energy the occupation on which they had all been employed for +some days past. There had been life and excitement in the work when +they had first commenced their packing, but now it was grown wearisome, +dull, and distasteful. Indeed so much of it was done that but little +was left to employ them, except those final strappings and fastenings, +and that last collection of odds and ends which could not be +accomplished till they were absolutely on the point of starting. The +squire had said that unpacking would be easier than packing, and Mrs +Dale, as she wandered about among the hampers and cases, began to +consider whether the task of restoring all the things to their old +places would be very disagreeable. She said nothing of this to Lily, +and Lily herself, whatever might be her thoughts, made no such +suggestion to her mother. + +"I think Hopkins will miss us more than any one else," she said. +"Hopkins will have no one to scold." + +Just at that moment Hopkins appeared at the parlour window, and +signified his desire for a conference. + +"You must come round," said Lily. "It's too cold for the window to he +opened. I always like to get him into the house, because he feels +himself a little abashed by the chairs and tables; or, perhaps, it is +the carpet that is too much for him. Out on the gravel-walks he is such +a terrible tyrant, and in the greenhouse he almost tramples upon one! + +Hopkins, when he did appear at the parlour door, seemed by his manner +to justify Lily's discretion. He was not at all masterful in his tone +or bearing, and seemed to pay to the chairs and tables all the +deference which they could have expected. + +"So you be going in earnest, ma'am," he said, looking down at Mrs +Dale's feet. + +As Mrs Dale did not answer him at once, Lily spoke-"Yes, Hopkins, we +are going in a very few days, now. We shall see you sometimes, I hope, +over at Guestwick." + +"Humph!" said Hopkins. "So you be really going! I didn't think it'd +ever come to that, miss; I didn't indeed-and no more it oughtn't; but +of course it isn't for me to speak." + +"People must change their residence sometimes, you know," said Mrs +Dale, using the same argument by which Eames had endeavoured to excuse +his departure to Mrs Roper. + +"Well, ma'am; it ain't for me to say anything. But this I will say, +I've lived here about t squire's place, man and boy, just all my life, +seeing I was born here, as you knows, Mrs Dale; and of all the bad +things I ever see come about the place, this is a sight the worst." + +"Oh, Hopkins!" + +"The worst of all, ma'am; the worst of all! It'll just kill t' squire! +There's ne'ery doubt in the world about that. It'll be the very death +of t' old man." + +"That's nonsense, Hopkins," said Lily. + +"Very well, miss. I don't say but what it is nonsense; only you'll see. +There's Mr Bernard-he's gone away; and by all accounts he never did +care very much for the place. They say all he's a-going to the Hingies. +And Miss Bell is going to be married-which is all proper, in course: +why shouldn't she? And why shouldn't you, too, Miss Lily?" + +"Perhaps I shall, some day, Hopkins." + +"There's no day like the present, Miss Lily. And I do say this, that +the man as pitched into him would be the man for my money." This, which +Hopkins spoke in the excitement of the moment, was perfectly +unintelligible to Lily, and Mrs Dale, who shuddered as she heard him, +said not a word to call for any explanation. "But," continued Hopkins, +"that's all as it may be, Miss Lily, and you be in the hands of +Providence-as is others." + +"Exactly so, Hopkins." + +"But why should your mamma be all for going away? She ain't going to +marry no one. Here's the house, and there's she, and there's t'squire; +and why should she be for going away? So much going away all at once +can't be for any good. It's just a breaking up of everything, as though +nothing wasn't good enough for nobody. I never went away, and I can't +abide it." + +"Well, Hopkins; it's settled now," said Mrs Dale, "and I'm afraid it +can't be unsettled." +"Settled-well. Tell me this: do you expect, Mrs Dale, that he's to live +there all alone by hisself without any one to say a cross word +to-unless it be me or Dingles; for Jolliffe's worse than nobody, he's +so mortial cross hisself. Of course he can't stand it. If you goes +away, Mrs Dale; Mister Bernard, he'll be squire in less than twelve +months. He'll come back from the Hingies, then, I suppose?" + +"I don't think my brother-in-law will take it in that way, Hopkins." + +"A, ma'am, you don't know him-not as I knows him-all the ins and outs +and crinks and crannies of him. I knows him as I does the old +apple-trees that I've been a-handling for forty year. There's a deal of +bad wood about them old cankered trees, and some folk say they ain't +worth the ground they stand on; but I know where the sap runs, and when +the fruit-blossom shows itself I know where the fruit will be the +sweetest. It don't take much to kill one of them old trees-but there's +life in 'm yet if they be well handled." + +"I'm sure I hope my brother's life may be long spared to him," said Mrs +Dale. + +"Then don't be taking yourself away, ma'am, into them gashly lodgings +at Guestwick. I says they are gashly for the likes of a Dale. It is not +for me to speak, ma'am, of course. And I only came up now just to know +what things you'd like with you out of the greenhouse." + +"Oh, nothing, Hopkins, thank you," said Mrs Dale. + +"He told me to put up for you the best I could pick, and I means to do +it;" and Hopkins, as he spoke, indicated by a motion of his head that +he was making reference to the squire. + +"We shan't have any place for them," said Lily. + +"I must send a few, miss, just to cheer you up a bit. I fear you'll be +very dolesome there. And the doctor-he ain't got what you can call a +regular garden, but there is a bit of a place behind." + +"But we wouldn't rob the dear old place," said Lily. + +"For the matter of that what does it signify? T'squire'll be that +wretched he'll turn sheep in here to destroy the place, or he'll have +the garden ploughed. You see if he don't. As for the place, the place +is clean done for, if you leave it. You don't suppose he'll go and let +the Small House to strangers. T'squire ain't one of that sort any ways." + +"Ah me!" exclaimed Mrs Dale, as soon as Hopkins had taken himself off. + +"What is it, mamma? He's a dear old man, but surely what he says cannot +make you really unhappy." + +"It is so hard to know what one ought to do. I did not mean to be +selfish, but it seems to me as though I were doing the most selfish +thing in the world." + +"Nay, mamma; it has been anything but selfish. Besides, it is we that +have done it; not you." + +"Do you know, Lily, that I also have that feeling as to breaking up +one's old mode of life of which Hopkins spoke. I thought that I should +be glad to escape from this place, but now that the time has come I +dread it." + +"Do you mean that you repent?" + +Mrs Dale did not answer her daughter at once, fearing to commit herself +by words which could not be retracted. But at last she said, "Yes, +Lily; I think I do repent. I think that it has not been well done." + +"Then let it be undone," said Lily. + +The dinner-party at Guestwick Manor on that day was not very bright, +and yet the earl had done all in his power to make his guests happy. +But gaiety did not come naturally to his house, which, as will have +been seen, was an abode very unlike in its nature to that of the other +earl at Courcy Castle. Lady de Courcy at any rate understood how to +receive and entertain a houseful of people, though the practice of +doing so might give rise to difficult questions in the privacy of her +domestic relations. Lady Julia did not understand it; but then Lady +Julia was never called upon to answer for the expense of extra +servants, nor was she asked about twice a week who the -- was to pay +the wine-merchant's bill? As regards Lord de Guest and the Lady Julia +themselves, I think they had the best of it; but I am bound to admit, +with reference to chance guests, that the house was dull. The people +who were now gathered at the earl's table could hardly have been +expected to be very sprightly when in company with each other. The +squire was not a man much given to general society, and was unused to +amuse a table full of people. On the present occasion he sat next to +Lady Julia, and from time to time muttered a few words to her about the +state of the country. Mrs Eames was terribly afraid of everybody there, +and especially of the earl, next to whom she sat, and whom she +continually called "my lord," showing by her voice as she did so that +she was almost alarmed by the sound of her own voice. Mr and Mrs Boyce +were there, the parson sitting on the other side of Lady Julia, and the +parson's wife on the other side of the earl. Mrs Boyce was very +studious to show that he was quite at home, and talked perhaps more +than any one else; but in doing so she bored the earl most exquisitely, +so that he told John Eames the next morning that she was worse than the +bull. The parson ate his dinner, but said little or nothing between the +two graces. He was a heavy, sensible, slow man, who knew himself and +his own powers. "Uncommon good stewed beef," he said, as he went home; +"why can't we have our beef stewed like that?" "Because we don't pay +our cook sixty pounds a year," said Mrs Boyce. "A woman with sixteen +pounds can stew beef as well as a woman with sixty," said he; she only +wants looking after." The earl himself was possessed of a sort of +gaiety. There was about him a lightness of spirit which often made him +an agreeable companion to one single person. John Eames conceived him +to be the most sprightly old man of his day-an old man with the fun and +frolic almost of a boy. But this spirit, though it would show itself +before John Eames, was not up to the entertainment of John Eames's +mother and sister, together with the squire, the parson, and the +parson's wife of Allington. So that the earl was over-weighted and did +not shine on this occasion at his own dinner-table. Dr Crofts, who had +also been invited, and who had secured the place which was now +peculiarly his own, next to Bell Dale, was no doubt happy enough; as, +let us hope, was the young lady also; but they added very little to the +general hilarity of the company. John Eames was seated between his own +sister and the parson, and did not at all enjoy his position. He had a +full view of the doctor's felicity, as the happy pair sat opposite to +him, and conceived himself to be hardly treated by Lily's absence. + +The party was certainly very dull, as were all such dinners at +Guestwick Manor. There are houses, which, in their everyday course, are +not conducted by any means in a sad or unsatisfactory manner-in which +life, as a rule, runs along merrily enough; but which cannot give a +dinner-party; or, I might rather say, should never allow themselves to +be allured into the attempt. The owners of such houses are generally +themselves quite aware of the fact, and dread the dinner which they +resolved to give quite as much as it is dreaded by their friends. They +know that they prepare for their guests an evening of misery, and for +themselves certain long hours of purgatory which are hardly to be +endured. But they will do it. Why that long table, and all those +supernumerary glasses and knives and forks, if they are never to be +used? That argument produces all this misery; that and others cognate +to it. On the present occasion, no doubt, there were excuses to be +made. The squire and his niece had been invited on special cause, and +their presence would have been well enough. The doctor added in would +have done no harm. It was good-natured, too, that invitation given to +Mrs Eames and her daughter. The error lay in the parson and his wife. +There was no necessity for their being there, nor had they any ground +on which to stand, except the party-giving ground. Mr and Mrs Boyce +made the dinner-party, and destroyed the social circle. Lady Julia knew +that she had been wrong as soon as she had sent out the note. + +Nothing was said on that evening which has any bearing on our story. +Nothing, indeed, was said which had any bearing on anything. The earl's +professed object had been to bring the squire and young Eames together; +but people are never brought together on such melancholy occasions. +Though they sip their port in close contiguity, they are poles asunder +in their minds and feelings. When the Guestwick fly came for Mrs Eames, +and the parson's pony-phaeton came for him and Mrs Boyce, a great +relief was felt; but the misery of those who were left had gone too far +to allow of any reaction on that evening. The squire yawned, and the +earl yawned, and then there was an end of it for that night. + +CHAPTER LIV + +THE SECOND VISIT TO THE GUESTWICK BRIDGE + + +Bell had declared that her sister would be very happy to see John Eames +if he would go over to Allington, and he had replied that of course he +would go there. So much having been, as it were, settled, he was able +to speak of his visit as a matter of course at the breakfast table, on +the morning after the earl's dinner-party. "I must get you to come +round with me, Dale, and see what I am doing to the land," the earl +said. And then he proposed to order saddle-horses. But the squire +preferred walking, and in this way they were disposed of soon after +breakfast. + +John had it in his mind to get Bell to himself for half an hour, and +hold a conference with her; but it either happened that Lady Julia was +too keen in her duties as a hostess, or else, as was more possible, +Bell avoided the meeting. No opportunity for such an interview offered +itself, though he hung about the drawing-room all the morning. "You had +better wait for luncheon, now," Lady Julia said to him about twelve. +But this he declined; and taking himself away hid himself about the +place for the next hour and a half. During this time he considered much +whether it would be better for him to ride or walk. If she should give +him any hope, he could ride back triumphant as a field-marshal. Then +the horse would be delightful to him. But if she should give him no +hope-if it should be his destiny to be rejected utterly on that +morning-then the horse would be terribly in the way of his sorrow. +Under such circumstances what could he do but roam wide across the +fields, resting when he might choose to rest, and running when it might +suit him to run. "And she is not like other girls," he thought to +himself. "She won't care for my boots being dirty." So at last he +elected to walk. + +"Stand up to her boldly, man," the earl had said to him. "By George, +what is there to be afraid of? It's my belief they'll give most to +those who ask for most. There's nothing sets' em against a man like +being sheepish." How the earl knew so much, seeing that he had not +himself given signs of any success in that walk of life, I am not +prepared to say. But Eames took his advice as being in itself good, and +resolved to act upon it. "Not that any resolution will be of any use," +he said to himself, as he walked along. "When the moment comes I know +that I shall tremble before her, and I know that she'll see it; but I +don't think it will make any difference in her." + +He had last seen her on the lawn behind the Small House, just at that +time when her passion for Crosbie was at the strongest. Eames had gone +thither impelled by a foolish desire to declare to her his hopeless +love, and she had answered him by telling him that she loved Mr Crosbie +better than all the world besides. Of course she had done so, at that +time; but, nevertheless, her manner of telling him had seemed to him to +be cruel. And he also had been cruel. He had told her that he hated +Crosbie-calling him "that man," and assuring her that no earthly +consideration should induce him to go into "that man's house." Then he +had walked away moodily wishing him all manner of evil. Was it not +singular that all the evil things which he, in his mind, had meditated +for the man, had fallen upon him. Crosbie had lost his love! He had so +proved himself to be a villain that his name might not be so much as +mentioned! He had been ignominiously thrashed! But what good would all +this be if his image were still dear to Lily's heart? "I told her that +I loved her then," he said to himself, "though I had no right to do so. +At any rate I have a right to tell her now." + +When he reached Allington he did not go in through the village and up +to the front of the Small House by the cross street, but turned by the +church gate and passed over the squire's terrace, and by the end of the +Great House through the garden. Here he encountered Hopkins. "Why, if +that b'aint Mr Eames!" said the gardener. "Mr John, may I make so +bold!" and Hopkins held out a very dirty hand, which Eames of course +took, unconscious of the cause of this new affection. + +"I'm just going to call at the Small House, and I thought I'd come this +way." + +"To be sure; this way, or that way, or any way, who's so welcome, Mr +John? I envies you; I envies you more than I envies any man. If I could +a got him by the scuff of the neck, I'd a treated him jist like any +wermin-I would, indeed! He was wermin! I ollays said it. I hated him +ollays! I did indeed, Mr John, from the first moment when he used to be +nigging away at them foutry balls, knocking them in among the +rhododendrons, as though there weren't no flower blossoms for next +year. He never looked at one as though one were a Christian; did he, Mr +John?" + +"I wasn't very fond of him myself, Hopkins." + +"Of course you weren't very fond of him. Who was?-only she, poor young +lady. She'll be better now, Mr John, a deal better. He wasn't a +wholesome lover-not like you are. Tell me, Mr John, did you give it him +well when you got him? I heard you did-two black eyes, and all his face +one mash of gore!" And Hopkins, who was by no means a young man, +stiffly put himself into a fighting attitude. + +Eames passed on over the little bridge, which seemed to be in a state +of fast decay, unattended to by any friendly carpenter, now that the +days of its use were so nearly at an end; and on into the garden, +lingering on the spot where he had last said farewell to Lily. He +looked about as though he expected still to find her there; but there +was no one to be seen in the garden, and no sound to be heard. As every +step brought him nearer to her whom he was seeking, he became more and +more conscious of the hopelessness of his errand. Him she had never +loved, and why should he venture to hope that she would love him now? +He would have turned back had he not been aware that his promise to +others required that he should persevere. He had said that he would do +this thing, and he would be as good as, his word. But he hardly +ventured to hope that he might be successful. In this frame of mind he +slowly made his way up across the lawn. + +"My dear, there is John Eames," said Mrs Dale, who had first seen him +from the parlour window. + +"Don't go, mamma." + +"I don't know; perhaps it will be better that I should." + +"No, mamma, no; what good can it do? It can do no good. I like him as +well as I can like any one. I love him dearly. But it can do no good. +Let him come in here, and be very kind to him; but do not go away and +leave us. Of course I knew he would come, and I shall be very glad to +see him." + +Then Mrs Dale went round to the other room, and admitted her visitor +through the window of the drawing-room. "We are in terrible confusion, +John, are we not? + +"And so you are really going to live in Guestwick?" + +"Well, it looks like it, does it not? But, to tell you a secret-only it +must be a secret; you must not mention it at Guestwick Manor; even Bell +does not know-we have half made up our minds to unpack all our things +and stay where we are." + +Eames was so intent on his own purpose, and so fully occupied with the +difficulty of the task before him, that he could hardly receive Mrs +Dale's tidings with all the interest which they deserved. "Unpack them +all again," he said. "That will be very troublesome. Is Lily with you, +Mrs Dale?" + +"Yes, she is in the parlour. Come and see her." So he followed Mrs Dale +through the hall, and found himself in the presence of his love. + +"How do you do, John?" "How do you do, Lily?" We all know the way in +which such meetings are commenced. Each longed to be tender and +affectionate to the other-each in a different way; but neither knew how +to throw any tenderness into this first greeting. "So you're staying at +the Manor House," said Lily. + +"Yes; I'm staying there. Your uncle and Bell came yesterday afternoon." + +"Have you heard about Bell?" said Mrs Dale. + +"Oh, yes; Mary told me. I'm so glad of it. I always liked Dr Crofts +very much. I have not congratulated her, because I didn't know whether +it was a secret. But Crofts was there last night, and if it is a secret +he didn't seem to be very careful about keeping it." + +"It is no secret," said Mrs Dale. "I don't know that I am fond of such +secrets." But as she said this, she thought of Crosbie's engagement, +which had been told to every one, and of its consequences." + +"Is it to be soon?" he asked. + +"Well, yes; we think so. Of course nothing is settled." + +"It was such fun," said Lily. "James, who took, at any rate, a year or +two to make his proposal, wanted to be married the next day +afterwards." . + +"No, Lily; not quite that." + +"Well, mamma, it was very nearly that. He thought it could all be done +this week. It has made us so happy, John! I don't know anybody I should +so much like for a brother. I'm very glad you like him-very glad. I +hope you'll be friends always." There was some little tenderness in +this-as John acknowledged to himself. + +"I'm sure we shall-if he likes it. That is, if I ever happen to see +him. I'll do anything for him I can if he ever comes up to London. +Wouldn't it be a good thing, Mrs Dale, if he settled himself in London? + +"No, John; it would be a very bad thing. Why should he wish to rob me +of my daughter?" + +Mrs Dale was speaking of her eldest daughter; but the very allusion to +any such robbery covered John Eames's face with a blush, made him hot +up to the roots of his hair, and for the moment silenced him.. + +"You think he would have a better career in London?" said Lily, +speaking under the influence of her superior presence of mind. + +She had certainly shown defective judgment in desiring her mother not +to leave them alone; and of this Mrs Dale soon felt herself aware. The +thing had to be done, and no little precautionary measure, such as this +of Mrs Dale's enforced presence, would prevent it. Of this Mrs Dale was +well aware; and she felt, moreover, that John was entitled to an +opportunity of pleading his own cause. It might be that such +opportunity would avail him nothing, but not the less should he have it +of right, seeing that he desired it. But yet Mrs Dale did not dare to +get up and leave the room. Lily had asked her not to do so, and at the +present period of their lives all Lily's requests were sacred. They +continued for some time to talk of Crofts and his marriage; and when +that subject was finished, they discussed their own probable-or, as it +seemed now, improbable-removal to Guestwick. "It's going too far, +mamma," said Lily, "to say that you think we shall not go. It was only +last night that you suggested it. The truth is, John, that Hopkins came +in and discoursed with the most wonderful eloquence. Nobody dared to +oppose Hopkins. He made us almost cry; he was so pathetic." + +"He has just been talking to me, too," said John, "as I came through +the squire's garden." + +"And what has he been saying to you?" said Mrs Dale. + +"Oh, I don't know; not much." John, however, remembered well, at this +moment, all that the gardener had said to him. Did she know of that +encounter between him and Crosbie? and if she did know of it, in what +light did she regard it? + +They had sat thus for an hour together, and Eames was not as yet an +inch nearer to his object. He had sworn to himself that he would not +leave the Small House without asking Lily to be his wife. It seemed to +him as though he would be guilty of falsehood towards the earl if he +did so. Lord de Guest had opened his house to him, and had asked all +the Dales there, and had offered himself up as a sacrifice at the cruel +shrine of a serious dinner-party, to say nothing of that easier and +lighter sacrifice which he had made in a pecuniary point of view, in +order that this thing might be done. Under such circumstances Eames was +too honest a man not to do it, let the difficulties in his way be what +they might. + +He had sat there for an hour, and Mrs Dale still remained with her +daughter. Should he get up boldly and ask Lily to put on her bonnet and +come out into the garden? As the thought struck him, he rose and +grasped at his hat. "I am going to walk back to Guestwick," said he. + +"It was very good of you to come so far to see us." + +"I was always fond of walking," he said. "The earl wanted me to ride, +but I prefer being on foot when I know the country, as I do here." + +"Have a glass of wine before you go." + +"Oh, dear, no. I think I'll go back through the squire's fields, and +out on the road at the white gate. The path is quite dry now." + +"I dare say it is," said Mrs Dale. + +"Lily, I wonder whether you would come as far as that with me." As the +request was made Mrs Dale looked at her daughter almost beseechingly. +"Do, pray do," said he; "it is a beautiful day for walking." + +The path proposed lay right across the field into which, Lily had taken +Crosbie when she made her offer to let him off from his engagement. +Could it be possible that she should ever walk there again with another +lover? "No, John," she said; "not today, I think. I am almost tired, +and I had rather not go out." + +"It would do you good," said Mrs Dale. + +"I don't want to be done good to, mamma. Besides, I should have to come +back by myself." + +"I'll come back with you," said Johnny. + +"Oh, yes; and then I should have to go again with you. But, John, +really I don't wish to walk today." Whereupon John Eames again put down +his hat. + +"Lily," said he; and then he stopped. Mrs Dale walked away to the +window, turning her back upon her daughter and visitor. "Lily, I have +come over here on purpose to speak to you. Indeed, I have come down +from London only that I might see you." + +"Have you, John?" + +"Yes, I have. You know well all that I have got to tell you. I loved +you before he ever saw you; and now that he has gone, I love you better +than I ever did. Dear Lily!" and he put out his hand to her. + +"No, John; no," she answered. + +"Must it be always no?" + +"Always no to that. How can it be otherwise? You would not have me +marry you while I love another!" + +"But he is gone. He has taken another wife." + +"I cannot change myself because he is changed. If you are kind to me +you will let that be enough." + +"But you are so unkind to me!" + +"No, no; oh, I would wish to be so kind to you! John, here; take my +hand. It is the hand of a friend who loves you, and will always love +you. Dear John, I will do anything-everything for you but that." +"There is only one thing," said he, still holding her by the hand, but +with his face turned from her. + +"Nay; do not say so. Are you worse off than I am? I could not have that +one thing, and I was nearer to my heart's longings than you have ever +been. I cannot have that one thing; but I know that there are other +things, and I will not allow myself to be broken-hearted." + +"You are stronger than I am," he said. + +"Not stronger, but more certain. Make yourself as sure as I am, and +you, too, will be strong. Is it not so, mamma?" + +"I wish it could be otherwise-I wish it could be otherwise! If you can +give him any hope-" + +"Mamma!" + +"Tell me that I may come again-in a year," he pleaded. + +"I cannot tell you so. You may not come again-not in this way. Do you +remember what, I told you before, in the garden; that I loved him +better than all the world besides? It is still the same. I still love +him better than all the world. How, then, can I give you any hope?" + +"But it will not be so for ever, Lily." + +"For ever! Why should he not be mine as well as hers when that for ever +comes? John, if you understand what it is to love, you will say nothing +more of it. I have spoken to you more openly about this than I have +ever done to anybody, even to mamma, because I have wished to make you +understand my feelings. I should be disgraced in my own eyes if I +admitted the love of another man, after--after--. It is to me almost as +though I had married him. I am not blaming him, remember. These things +are different with a man." + +She had not dropped his hand, and as she made her last speech was +sitting in her old chair with her eyes fixed upon the ground. She spoke +in a low voice, slowly, almost with difficulty; but still the words +came very clearly, with a clear, distinct voice which caused them to be +remembered with accuracy, both by Eames and Mrs Dale. To him it seemed +to be impossible that he should continue his suit after such a +declaration. To Mrs Dale they were terrible words, speaking of a +perpetual widowhood, and telling of an amount of suffering greater even +than that which she had anticipated. It was true that Lily had never +said so much to her as she had now said to John Eames, or had attempted +to make so clear an exposition of her own feelings. "I should be +disgraced in my own eyes if I admitted the love of another man!" They +were terrible words, but very easy to be understood. Mrs Dale had felt, +from the first, that Eames was coming too soon, that the earl and the +squire together were making an effort to cure the wound too quickly +after its infliction; that time should have been given to her girl to +recover. But now the attempt had been made, and words had been forced +from Lily's lips, the speaking of which would never be forgotten by +herself. + +"I knew that it would be so," said John. + +"Ah, yes; you know it, because your heart understands my heart. And you +will not be angry with me, and say naughty, cruel words, as you did +once before. We will think, of each other, John, and pray for each +other; and will always love one another. When we do meet let us be glad +to see each other. No other friend shall ever be dearer to me than you +are. You are so true and honest! When you marry I will tell your wife +what an infinite blessing God has given her." + +"You shall never do that." + +"Yes, I will. I understand what you mean; but yet I will." + +"Good-bye, Mrs Dale," he said. + +"Good-bye, John. If it could have been otherwise with her, you should +have had all my best wishes in the matter. I would have loved you +dearly as my son; and I will love you now." Then she put up her lips +and kissed his face. + +"And so will I love you," said Lily, giving him her hand again. He +looked longingly into her face as though he had thought it possible +that she also might kiss him: then he pressed her hand to his lips, and +without speaking any further farewell, took up his hat and left the +room. + +"Poor fellow!" said Mrs Dale. + +"They should not have let him come," said Lily. "But they don't +understand. They think that I have lost a toy, and they mean to be +good-natured, and to give me another." Very shortly after that Lily +went away by herself, and sat alone for hours; and when she joined her +mother again at tea-time, nothing further was said of John Eames's +visit. + +He made his way out by the front door, and through the churchyard, and +in this way on to the field through which he had asked Lily to walk +with him. He hardly began to think of what had passed till he had left +the squire's house behind him. As he made his way through the +tombstones he paused and read one, as though it interested him. He +stood a moment under the tower looking up at the clock, and then pulled +out his own watch, as though to verify the one by the other. He made, +unconsciously, a struggle to drive away from his thoughts the facts of +the late scene, and for some five or ten minutes he succeeded. + +He said to himself a word or two about Sir Raffle and his letters, and +laughed inwardly as he remembered the figure of Rafferty bringing in +the knight's shoes. He had gone some half mile upon his way before he +ventured to stand still and tell himself that he had failed in the +great object of his life. + +Yes; he had failed: and he acknowledged to himself, with bitter +reproaches, that he had failed, now and for ever. He told himself that +he had obtruded upon her in her sorrow with an unmannerly love, and +rebuked himself as having been not only foolish but ungenerous. His +friend the earl had been wont, in his waggish way, to call him the +conquering hero, and had so talked him out of his common sense as to +have made him almost think that he would be successful in his suit. +Now, as he told himself that any such success must have been +impossible, he almost hated the earl for having brought him to this +condition. A conquering hero, indeed! How should he manage to sneak +back among them all at the Manor House, crestfallen and abject in his +misery? Everybody knew the errand on which he had gone, and everybody +must know of his failure. How could he have been such a fool as to +undertake such a task under the eyes of so many lookers-on? Was it not +the case that he had so fondly expected success, as to think only of +his triumph in returning, and not of his more probable disgrace? He had +allowed others to make a fool of him, and had so made a fool of himself +that now all hope and happiness were over for him. How could he escape +at once out of the country-back to London? How could he get away +without saying a word further to any one? That was the thought that at +first occupied his mind. + +He crossed the road at the end of the squire's property, where the +parish of Allington divides itself from that of Abbot's Guest in which +the earl's house stands, and made his way back along the copse which +skirted the field in which they had encountered the bull, into the high +woods which were at the back of the park. Ah, yes; it had been well for +him that he had not come out on horseback. That ride home along the +high road and up to the Manor House stables would, under his present +circumstances, have been almost impossible to him. As it was, he did +not think it possible that he should return to his place in the earl's +house. How could he pretend to maintain his ordinary demeanour under +the eyes of those two old men? It would be better for him to get home +to his mother-to send a message from thence to the Manor, and then to +escape back to London. +So thinking, but with no resolution made, he went on through the woods, +and down from the hill back towards the town till he again came to the +little bridge over the brook. There he stopped and stood a while with +his broad hand spread over the letters which he had cut in those early +days, so as to hide them from his sight. "What an ass I have +been-always and ever!" he said to himself. + +It was not only of his late disappointment that he was thinking, but of +his whole past life. He was conscious of his hobbledehoyhood-of that +backwardness on his part in assuming manhood which had rendered him +incapable of making himself acceptable to Lily before she had fallen +into the clutches of Crosbie. As he thought of this he declared to +himself that if he could meet Crosbie again he would again thrash +him-that he would so belabour him as to send him out of the world, if +such sending might possibly be done by fair beating, regardless whether +he himself might be called upon to follow him. Was it not hard that for +the two of them-for Lily and for him also-there should be such +punishment because of the insincerity of that man? When he had thus +stood upon the bridge for some quarter of an hour, he took out his +knife, and, with deep rough gashes in the wood, cut out Lily's name +from the rail. + +He had hardly finished, and was still looking at the chips as they were +being carried away by the stream, when a gentle step came close up to +him, and turning round, he saw that Lady Julia was on the bridge. She +was close to him, and had already seen his handiwork. "Has she offended +you, John?" she said. + +"Oh, Lady Julia!" + +"Has she offended you?" + +"She has refused me, and it is all over." + +"It may be that she has refused you, and that yet it need not be all +over. I am sorry that you have cut out the name. John. Do you mean to +cut it out from your heart?" + +"Never. I would if I could, but I never shall." + +"Keep to it as to a great treasure. It will be a joy to you in after +years, and not a sorrow. To have loved truly, even though you shall +have loved in vain, will be a consolation when you are as old as I am. +It is something to have had a heart." + +"I don't know. I wish that I had none." + +"And, John-I can understand her feeling now; and, indeed, I thought all +through that you were asking her too soon; but the time may yet come +when she will think better of your wishes." + +"No, no; never. I begin to know her now." + +"If you can be constant in your love you may win her yet. Remember how +young she is; and how young you both are. Come again in two years' +time, and then, when you have won her, you shall tell me that I have +been a good old woman to you both." + +"I shall never win her, Lady Julia." As he spoke these last words the +tears were running down his cheeks, and he was weeping openly in +presence of his companion. It was well for him that she had come upon +him in his sorrow. When he once knew that she had seen his tears, he +could pour out to her the whole story of his grief; and as he did so +she led him back quietly to the house. + +CHAPTER LV + +NOT VERY FIE FIE AFTER ALL + + +It will perhaps be remembered that terrible things had been foretold as +about to happen between the Hartletop and Omnium families. Lady +Dumbello had smiled whenever Mr Plantagenet Palliser had spoken to her. +Mr Palliser had confessed to himself that politics were not enough for +him, and that Love was necessary to make up the full complement of his +happiness. Lord Dumbello had frowned latterly when his eyes fell on the +tall figure of the duke's heir; and the duke himself-that potentate, +generally so mighty in his silence-the duke himself had spoken. Lady de +Courcy and Lady Clandidlem were, both of them, absolutely certain that +the thing had been fully arranged. I am, therefore, perfectly justified +in stating that the world was talking about the loves-the illicit +loves-of Mr Palliser and Lady Dumbello. + +And the talking of the world found its way down to that respectable +country parsonage in which Lady Dumbello had been born, and from which +she had been taken away to those noble halls which she now graced by +her presence. The talking of the world was heard at Plumstead Episcopi, +where still lived Archdeacon Grantly, the lady's father; and was heard +also at the deanery of Barchester, where lived the lady's aunt and +grandfather. By whose ill-mannered tongue the rumour was spread in +these ecclesiastical regions it boots not now to tell. But it may be +remembered that Courcy Castle was riot far from Barchester, and that +Lady de Courcy was not given to hide her lights under a bushel. + +It was a terrible rumour. To what mother must not such a rumour +respecting her daughter be very terrible? In no mother's ears could it +have sounded more frightfully than it did in those of Mrs Grantly. Lady +Dumbello, the daughter, might be altogether worldly; but Mrs Grantly +had never been more than half worldly. In one moiety of her character, +her habits, and her desires, she had been wedded to things good in +themselves-to religion, to charity, and to honest-hearted uprightness. +It is true that the circumstances of her life had induced her to serve +both God and Mammon, and that, therefore, she had gloried greatly in +the marriage of her daughter with the heir of a marquis. She had +revelled in the aristocratic elevation of her child, though she +continued to dispense books and catechisms with her own hands to the +children of the labourers of Plumstead Episcopi. When Griselda first +became Lady Dumbello the mother feared somewhat lest her child should +find herself unequal to the exigencies of her new position. But the +child had proved herself more than equal to them, and had mounted up to +a dizzy height of success, which brought to the mother great glory and +great fear also. She delighted to think that her Griselda was great +even among the daughters of marquises; but she trembled as she +reflected how deadly would be the fall from such a height-should there +ever be a fall! + +But she had never dreamed of such, a fall as this! She would have +said-indeed, she often had said-to the archdeacon that Griselda's +religious principles were too firmly fixed to be moved by outward +worldly matters; signifying, it may be, her conviction that that +teaching of Plumstead Episcopi had so fastened her daughter into a +groove, that all the future teaching of Hartlebury would not suffice to +undo the fastenings. When she had thus boasted no such idea as that of +her daughter running from her husband's house had ever come upon her; +but she had alluded to vices of a nature kindred to that vice-to vices +into which other aristocratic ladies sometimes fell, who had been less +firmly grooved; and her boastings had amounted to this-that she herself +had so successfully served God and Mammon together, that her child +might go forth and enjoy all worldly things without risk of damage to +things heavenly. Then came upon her this rumour. The archdeacon told +her in a hoarse whisper that he had been recommended to look to it, +that it was current through the world that Griselda was about to leave +her husband. + +"Nothing on earth shall make me believe it," said Mrs Grantly. But she +sat alone in her drawing-room afterwards and trembled. Then came her +sister, Mrs Arabin, the dean's wife, over to the parsonage, and in +half-hidden words told the same story. She had heard it from Mrs +Proudie, the bishop's wife. "That woman is as false as the father of +falsehoods," said Mrs Grantly. But she trembled the more; and as she +prepared her parish work, could think of nothing but her child. What +would be all her life to come, what would have been all that was past +of her life, if this thing should happen to her? She would not believe +it; but yet she trembled the more as she thought of her daughter's +exaltation, and remembered that such things had been done in that world +to which Griselda now belonged. Ah! would it not have been better for +them if they had not raised their heads so high! And she walked, out +alone among the tombs of the neighbouring churchyard, and stood over +the grave in which had been laid the body of her other daughter. Could +be it that the fate of that one had been the happier. + +Very few words were spoken on the subject between her and the +archdeacon, and yet it seemed agreed among them that something should +be done. He went up to London, and saw his daughter-not daring, +however, to mention such a subject. Lord Dumbello was cross with him, +and very uncommunicative. Indeed both the archdeacon and Mrs Grantly +had found that their daughter's house was not comfortable to them, and +as they were sufficiently proud among their own class they had not +cared to press themselves on the hospitality of their son-in-law. But +he had been able to perceive that all was not right in the house in +Carlton Gardens. Lord Dumbello was not gracious with his wife, and +there was something in the silence, rather than in the speech, of men, +which seemed to justify the report which had reached him. + +"He is there oftener than he should be," said the archdeacon. "And I am +sure of this, at least, that Dumbello does not like it." + +"I will write to her," said Mrs Grantly at last. "I am still her +mother-I will write to her. It may be that she does not know what +people say of her." + +And Mrs Grantly did write. + + + + +PLUMSTEAD, April, 186-. + +DEAREST GRISELDA-It seems sometimes that you have been moved so far +away from me that I have hardly a right to concern myself more in the +affairs of your daily life, and I know that it is impossible that, you +should refer to me for advice or sympathy, as you would have done had +you married some gentleman of our own standing. But I am quite sure +that my child does not forget her mother, or fail to look back upon her +mother's love; and that she will allow me to speak to her if she be in +trouble, as I would to any other child whom I had loved and cherished. +I pray God that I may be wrong in supposing that such trouble is near +you. If I am so you will forgive me my solicitude. + +Rumours have reached us from more than one quarter that-Oh! Griselda, I +hardly know in what words to conceal and yet to declare that which I +have to write. They say that you are intimate with Mr Palliser, the +nephew of the duke, and that your husband is much offended. Perhaps I +had better tell you all, openly, cautioning you not to suppose that I +have believed it. They say that it is thought that you are going to put +yourself under Mr Palliser's protection. My dearest child, I think you +can imagine with what agony I write these words-with what terrible +grief I must have been oppressed before I could, have allowed myself to +entertain the thoughts which have produced them. Such things are said +openly in Barchester, and your father, who has been in town and has +seen you, feels himself unable to tell me that my mind may be at rest. + +I will not say to you a word as to the injury in a worldly point of +view which would come to you from any rupture with your husband. I +believe that you can see what would be the effect of so terrible a step +quite as plainly as I can show it you. You would break the heart of +your father and send your mother to her grave-but it is not even on +that that I may most insist. It is this-that you would offend your God +by the worst sin that a woman can commit, and cast yourself into a +depth of infamy in which repentance before God is almost impossible, +and from which escape before man is not permitted. + +I do not believe it, my dearest, dearest child-my only living daughter; +I do not believe what they have said to me. But as a mother I have not +dared to leave the slander unnoticed. If you will write to me and say +that it is not so, you will make me happy again, even though you should +rebuke me for my suspicion. + +Believe that at all times, and under all circumstances, I am still your +loving mother, as I was in other days. + +SUSAN GRANTLY. + + +We will now go back to Mr Palliser as he sat in his chambers at the +Albany, thinking of his love. The duke had cautioned him, and the +duke's agent had cautioned him; and he, in spite of his high feeling of +independence, had almost been made to tremble. All his thousands a year +were in the balance, and perhaps everything on which depended his +position before the world. But, nevertheless, though he did tremble, he +resolved to persevere. Statistics were becoming dry to him, and love, +was very sweet. Statistics, he thought, might be made as enchanting as +ever, if only they could be mingled with, love. The mere idea of loving +Lady Dumbello had seemed to give a salt to his life of which he did not +now know how to rob himself. It is true that he had not as yet enjoyed +many of the absolute blessings of love, seeing that his conversations +with Lady Dumbello had never been warmer than those which have been +repeated in these pages; but his imagination had been at work; and now +that Lady Dumbello was fully established at her house in Carlton +Gardens, he was determined to declare his passion on the first +convenient opportunity. It was sufficiently manifest to him that the +world expected him to do so, and that the world was already a little +disposed to find fault with the slowness of his proceedings. + +He had been once at Carlton Gardens since the season had commenced, and +the lady had favoured him with her sweetest smile. But he had only been +half a minute alone with her, and during that half-minute had only time +to remark that he supposed she would now remain in London for the +season. +"Oh, yes," she had answered, "we shall not leave till July." Nor could +he leave till July, because of the exigencies of his statistics. He +therefore had before him two, if not three, clear months in which to +manoeuvre, to declare his purposes, and prepare for the future events +of his life. As he resolved on a certain morning that he would say his +first tender word to Lady Dumbello that very night, in the drawing-room +of Lady de Courcy, where he knew that he should meet her, a letter came +to him by the post. He well knew the hand and the intimation which it +would contain. It was from the duke's agent, Mr Fothergill, and +informed him that a certain sum of money had been placed to his credit +at his banker's. But the letter went further, and informed him also +that the duke had given his agent to understand that special +instructions would be necessary before the next quarterly payment could +be made. Mr Fothergill said nothing further, but Mr Palliser understood +it all. He felt his blood run cold round his heart; but, nevertheless, +he determined that he would not break his word to Lady de Courcy that +night. + +And Lady Dumbello received her letter, also on the same morning. She +was being dressed as she read it, and the maidens who attended her +found no cause to suspect that anything in the letter had excited her +ladyship. Her ladyship was not often excited, though she was vigilant +in exacting from them their utmost cares. She read her letter, however, +very carefully, and as she sat beneath the toilet implements of her +maidens thought deeply of the tidings which had been brought to her. +She was angry with no one-she was thankful to no one. She felt no +special love for any person concerned in the matter. Her heart did not +say, "Oh, my lord and husband!" or "Oh, my lover!" or "Oh, my mother, +the friend of my childhood!" But she became aware that matter for +thought had been brought before her, and she did think. "Send my love +to Lord Dumbello," she said, when the operations were nearly completed, +"and tell him that I shall be so glad. to see him if he will come to me +while I am at breakfast." + +"Yes, my lady." And then the message came back: "His lordship would be +with her ladyship certainly." + +"Gustavus," she said, as soon as she had seated herself discreetly in +her chair, "I have had a letter from my mother, which you had better +read;" and she handed to him the document. "I do not know what I have +done to deserve such suspicions from her; but she lives in the country, +and has probably been deceived by ill-natured people. At any rate you +must read it, and tell me what I should do." + +We may predicate from this that Mr Palliser's chance of being able to +shipwreck himself upon that rock was but small, and that he would, in +spite of himself, be saved from his uncle's anger. Lord Dumbello took +the letter and read it very slowly, standing, as he did so, with his +back to the fire. He read it very slowly, and his wife, though she +never turned her face directly upon his, could perceive that he became +very red, that he was fluttered and put beyond himself, and that his +answer was not ready. She was well aware that his conduct to her during +the last three months had been much altered from his former usages; +that he had been rougher with her in his speech when alone, and less +courteous in his attention when in society; but she had made no +complaint or spoken a word to show him that she had marked the change. +She had known, moreover, the cause of his altered manner, and having +considered much, had resolved that she would live it. down. She had +declared to herself that she had done no deed and spoken no word that +justified suspicion, and therefore she would make no change in her +ways, or show herself to be conscious that she was suspected. But +now-having her mother's letter in her hand-she could bring him to an +explanation without making him aware that she had ever thought that he +had been jealous of her. To her, her mother's letter was a great +assistance. It justified a scene like this, and enabled her to fight +her battle after her own fashion. As for eloping with any Mr Palliser, +and giving up the position which she had won-no, indeed! She had been +fastened in her grooves too well for that! Her mother, in entertaining +any fear on such a subject, had. shown herself to be ignorant of the +solidity of her daughter's character. + +"Well, Gustavus," she said at last. "You must say what answer I shall +make, or whether I shall make any answer.." But he was not even yet +ready to instruct her. So he unfolded the letter and read it again, and +she poured out for herself a cup of tea. + +"It's a very serious matter," said he. + +"Yes, it is serious; I could not but think such a letter from my mother +to be serious. Had it come from any one else I doubt whether I should +have troubled you; unless, indeed, it and been from any as near to you +as she is to me. As it is, you cannot but feel that I am right" + +"Right! Oh, yes, you are right-quite right to tell me; you should tell +me everything. D-- them!" But whom he meant to condemn he did not +explain. + +"I am above all things averse to cause you trouble," 'she said. "I have +seen some little things of late-" + +"Has he ever said anything to you?" + +"Who-Mr Palliser? Never a word." + +"He has hinted at nothing of this kind?" + +"Never a word. Had he done so. I must have made you understand that he +could not have been allowed again into my drawing-room." Then again he +read the letter, or pretended to do so. + +"Your mother means well," he said. + +"Oh, yes, she means well. She has been foolish to believe the +tittle-tattle that has reached her-very foolish to oblige me to give +you this annoyance." + +"Oh, as for that, I'm not annoyed. By Jove, no. Come, Griselda, let us +have it all out; other people have said this, and I have been unhappy. +Now, you know it all." + +"Have I made you unhappy?" + +"Well, no; not you.. Don't be hard upon me when I tell you the whole +truth. Fools and brutes have whispered things that have vexed me. They +may whisper till the devil fetches them, but they shan't annoy me +again. Give me a kiss, my girl." And he absolutely put out his arms and +embraced her. "Write a good-natured letter to your mother, and ask her +to come up for a week in May. That'll be the best thing; and then +she'll understand; By Jove, it's twelve o'clock. Goodbye." + +Lady Dumbello was well aware that she had triumphed, and that her +mother's letter had been invaluable to her. But it had been used, and +therefore she did not read it again. She ate her breakfast in quiet +comfort, looking over a milliner's French circular as she did so; and +then, when the time for such an operation had fully come, she got to +her writing-table and answered her mother's letter. + + +DEAR MAMMA (she said)-I thought it best to show your letter at once to +Lord Dumbello. He said that people would be ill-natured, and seemed to +think that the telling of such stories could not be helped. As regards +you, he was not a bit angry, but said that you and papa had better come +to us for a week about the end of next month. Do come. We are to have +rather a large dinner-party on the 23rd. His Royal Highness is coming, +and I think papa would like to meet him. Have you observed that those +very high bonnets have all gone out: I never, liked them; and as I had +got a hint from Paris, I have been doing my best to put them down. I do +hope nothing will prevent your coming. + +Your affectionate daughter + +CARLTON GARDENS, Wednesday. G. DUMBELLO + + +Mrs Grantly was aware, from the moment in which she received the +letter, that she had wronged her daughter by her suspicions. It did not +occur to her to disbelieve a word that was said in the letter, or an +inference that was implied. She had been wrong, and rejoiced that it +was so. But nevertheless there was that in the letter which annoyed and +irritated her, though she could not explain to herself the cause of her +annoyance. She had thrown all her heart into that which she had +written, but in the words which her child had written not a vestige of +heart was to be found. In that reconciling of God and Mammon which Mrs +Grantly had carried on so successfully in the education of her +daughter, the organ had not been required, and had become withered, if +not defunct, through want of use. + +"We will not go there, I think" said Mrs Grantly, speaking to her +husband. + +"Oh dear, no; certainly not. If you want to go to town at all, I will +take rooms for you. And as for his Royal Highness I have a great +respect for his Royal Highness, but I do not in the least desire to +meet him at Dumbello's table." + +And so that matter was settled, as regarded the inhabitants of +Plumstead Episcopi. + +And whither did Lord Dumbello betake himself. when he left his wife's +room in so great a hurry at twelve o'clock? Not to the Park, nor to +Tattersall's, nor to a Committee-room of the House of Commons, nor yet +to the bow-window of his club. But he went straight to a great +jeweller's in Ludgate Hill, and there purchased a wonderful green +necklace, very rare and curious, heavy with green sparkling drops, with +three row's of shining green stones embedded in chaste gold-a necklace +amounting almost to a jewelled cuirass in weight and extent. It had +been in all the exhibitions, and was very costly and magnificent. While +Lady Dumbello was still dressing in the evening this was brought to her +with her lord's love, as his token of renewed confidence; and Lady +Dumbello, as she counted the sparkles, triumphed inwardly, telling +herself that she had played her cards well. + +But while she counted the sparkles produced by her full reconciliation +with her lord, poor Plantagenet Palliser was still trembling in his +ignorance. If only he could have been allowed to see Mrs Grantly's +letter, and the lady's answer, and the lord's present! But no such +seeing was vouchsafed to him, and he was carried off in his brougham to +Lady de Courcy's house, twittering with expectant love, and trembling +with expectant ruin. To this conclusion he had come at any rate, that +if anything was to be done, it should be done now. He would speak a +word of love, and prepare his future in accordance with the acceptance +it might receive. +Lady de Courcy's rooms were very crowded when he arrived there. It was +the first great crushing party of the season, and all the world had +been collected into Portman Square. Lady de Courcy was smiling as +though her lord had no teeth, as though her eldest son's condition was +quite happy, and all things were going well with the De Courcy +interests. Lady Margaretta was there behind her, bland without and +bitter within; and Lady Rosina also, at some further distance, +reconciled to this world's vanity and finery because there was to be no +dancing. And the married daughters of the house were there also, +striving to maintain their positions on the strength of their undoubted +birth, but subjected to some snubbing by the lowness of their absolute +circumstances. Gazebee was there, happy in the absolute fact of his +connection with an earl, and blessed with the consideration that was +extended to him as an earl's son-in-law. And Crosbie, also, was in the +rooms-was present there, though he had sworn to himself that he would +no longer dance attendance on the countess, and that he would sever +himself away from the wretchedness of the family. But if he gave up +them and their ways, what else would then be left to him? He had come, +therefore, and now stood alone, sullen in a corner, telling himself +that all was vanity. Yes; to the vain all will be vanity; and to the +poor of heart all will be poor. + +Lady Dumbello was there in a small inner room, seated on a couch to +which she had been brought on her first arrival at the house, and on +which she would remain till she departed. From time to time some very +noble or very elevated personage would come before her and say a word, +and she would answer that elevated personage with another word; but +nobody had attempted with her the task of conversation. It was +understood that Lady Dumbello did not converse-unless it were +occasionally with Mr Palliser. + +She knew well that Mr Palliser was to meet her there. He had told her +expressly that he should do so, having inquired, with much solicitude, +whether she intended to obey the invitation of the countess. "I shall +probably be there," she had said, and now had determined that her +mother's letter and her husband's conduct to her should not cause her +to break her word. Should Mr Palliser "forget" himself, she would know +how to say a word to him as she had known how to say a word to her +husband. Forget himself! She was very sure that Mr Palliser had been +making up his mind to forget himself for some months past. + +He did come to her, and stood over her, looking unutterable things. His +unutterable things, however, were so looked, that they did not +absolutely demand notice from the lady. He did not sigh like a furnace, +nor open his eyes upon her as though there were two suns in the +firmament above her head, nor did he beat his breast or tear his hair. +Mr Palliser had been brought up in a school which delights in +tranquillity, and never allows its pupils to commit themselves either +to the sublime or to the ridiculous. He did look an unutterable thing +or two; but he did it with so decorous an eye, that the lady, who was +measuring it all with great accuracy, could not, as yet, declare that +Mr Palliser had "forgotten himself." + +There was room by her on the couch, and once or twice, at Hartlebury, +he had ventured so to seat himself. On the present occasion, however, +he could not do so without placing himself manifestly on her dress. She +would have known how to fill a larger couch even than that-as she would +have known, also, how to make room-had it been her mind to do so. So he +stood still over her, and she smiled at him. Such a smile! It was cold +as death, flattering no one, saying nothing, hideous in its unmeaning, +unreal grace. Ah! how I hate the smile of a woman who smiles by rote! +It made Mr Palliser feel very uncomfortable-but he did not analyse it, +and persevered. + +"Lady Dumbello," he said, and his voice was very low, "I have been +looking forward to meeting you here." +"Have you, Mr Palliser? Yes; I remember that you asked me whether I was +coming." + +"I did. Hm-Lady Dumbello!" and he almost trenched upon the outside +verge of that schooling which had taught him to avoid both the sublime +and the ridiculous. But he had not forgotten himself as yet, and so she +smiled again. + +"Lady Dumbello, in this world in which we live, it is so hard to get a +moment in which we can speak." He had thought that she would move her +dress, but she did not. + +"Oh, I don't know," she said; "one doesn't often want to say very much, +I think." + +"Ah, no; not often, perhaps. But when one does want! How I do hate +these crowded rooms!" Yet, when he had been at Hartlebury he had +resolved that the only ground for him would be the crowded drawing-room +of some large London house. "I wonder whether you ever desire anything +beyond them?" + +"Oh, yes," said she; "but I confess that I am fond of parties." + +Mr Palliser looked round and thought that he saw that he was +unobserved. He had made up his mind as to what he would do, and he was +determined to do it. He had in him none of that readiness which enables +some men to make love and carry off their Dulcineas at a moment's +notice, but he had that pluck which would have made himself disgraceful +in his own eyes if he omitted to do that as to the doing of which he +had made a solemn resolution. He would have preferred to do it sitting, +but, faute de mieux, seeing that a seat was denied to him, he would do +it standing. + +"Griselda," he said-and it must be admitted that his tone was not bad. +The word sank softly into her ear, like small rain upon moss, and it +sank into no other ear. "Griselda!" + +"Mr Palliser!" said she-and though she made no scene, though she merely +glanced upon him once, he could see that he was wrong. + +"May I not call you so?" + +"Certainly not. Shall I ask you to see if my people are there?" He +stood a moment before her hesitating. "My carriage, I mean." As she +gave the command she glanced at him again, and then he obeyed her +orders. + +When he returned she had left her seat; but he heard her name announced +on the stairs, and caught a glance of the back of her head as she made +her way gracefully down through the crowd. He never attempted to make +love to her again, utterly disappointing the hopes of Lady de Courcy, +Mrs Proudie, and Lady Clandidlem. + +As I would wish those who are interested in Mr Palliser's fortunes to +know the ultimate result of this adventure, and as we shall not have +space to return to his affairs in this little history, I may, perhaps, +be allowed to press somewhat forward, and tell what Fortune did for him +before the close of that London season. Everybody knows that in that +spring Lady Glencora MacCluskie was brought out before the world, and +it is equally well known that she, as the only child of the late Lord +of the Isles, was the great heiress of the day. It is true that the +hereditary possession of Skye, Staffa, Mull, Arran, and Bute went, with +the title, to the Marquis of Auldreekie, together with the counties of +Caithness and Ross-shire. But the property in Fife, Aberdeen, Perth, +and Kincardineshire, comprising the greater part of those counties, and +the coal-mines in Lanark, as well as the enormous estate within the +city of Glasgow, were unentailed, and went to the Lady Glencora. She +was a fair girl, with bright blue eyes and short wavy flaxen hair, very +soft to the eye. The Lady Glencora was small in stature, and her happy +round face lacked, perhaps, the highest grace of female beauty. But +there was ever a smile upon it, at which it was very pleasant to look; +and the intense interest with which she would dance, and talk, and +follow up every amusement that was offered her, was very charming. The +horse she rode was the dearest love-oh! she loved him so dearly! And +she had a little dog that was almost as dear as the horse. The friend +of her youth, Sabrina Scott, was-oh, such a girl! And her cousin, the +little Lord of the Isles, the heir of the marquis, was so gracious and +beautiful that she was always covering him with kisses. Unfortunately +he was only six, so that there was hardly a possibility that the +properties should be brought together. + +But Lady Glencora, though she was so charming, had even in this, her +first outset upon the world, given great uneasiness to her friends, and +caused the Marquis of Auldreekie to be almost wild with dismay. There +was a terribly handsome man about town, who had spent every shilling +that anybody would give him, who was very fond of brandy, who was +known, but not trusted, at Newmarket, who was said to be deep in every +vice, whose father would not speak to him-and with him the Lady +Glencora was never tired of dancing. One morning she had told her +cousin the marquis, with a flashing eye-for the round blue eye could +flash-that Burgo Fitzgerald was more sinned against than sinning. Ah +me! what was a guardian marquis, anxious for the fate of the family +property, to do under such circumstances as that? + +But before the end of the season the marquis and the duke were both +happy men, and we will hope that the Lady Glencora also was satisfied. +Mr Plantagenet Palliser had danced with her twice, and had spoken his +mind. He had an interview with the marquis, which was preeminently +satisfactory, and everything was settled. Glencora no doubt told him +how she had accepted that plain gold ring from Burgo Fitzgerald, and +how she had restored it; but I doubt whether she ever told him of that +wavy lock of golden hair which Burgo still keeps in his receptacle for +such treasures. + +"Plantagenet," said the duke, with quite unaccustomed warmth, "in this, +as in all things, you have shown yourself to be everything that I could +desire. I have told the marquis that Matching Priory, with the whole +estate, should be given over to you at once. It is the most comfortable +country-house I know. Glencora shall have The Horns as her wedding +present." + +But the genial, frank delight of Mr Fothergill pleased Mr Palliser the +most. The heir of the Pallisers had done his duty, and Mr Fothergill +was unfeignedly a happy man. + +CHAPTER LVI + +SHOWING HOW MR CROSBIE BECAME AGAIN A HAPPY MAN + + +It has been told in the last chapter how Lady de Courcy gave a great +party in London in the latter days of April, and it may therefore be +thought that things were going well with the De Courcys; but I fear the +inference would be untrue. At any rate, things were not going well with +Lady Alexandrina, for she, on her mother's first arrival in town, had +rushed to Portman Square with a long tale of her sufferings. + +"Oh, mamma! you would not believe it; but he hardly ever speaks to me." + +"My dear, there are worse faults in a man than that." + +"I am alone there all the day. I never get out. He never offers to get +me a carriage. He asked me to walk with him once last week, when it was +raining. I saw that he waited till the rain began. Only think, I have +not been out three evenings this month-except to Amelia's; and now he +says he won't go there any more, because a fly is so expensive. You +can't believe how uncomfortable the house is." + +"I thought you chose it, my dear." + +"I looked at it, but, of course, I didn't know what a house ought to +be. Amelia said it wasn't nice, but he would have it. He hates Amelia. +I'm sure of that, for he says everything he can to snub her and Mr +Gazebee. Mr Gazebee is as good as he, at any rate. What do you think? +He has given Richard warning to go. You never saw him, but he was a +very good servant. He has given him warning, and he is not talking of +getting another man. I won't live with him without somebody to wait +upon me." + +"My dearest girl, do not think of such a thing as leaving him." + +"But I will think of it, mamma. You do not know what my life is in that +house. He never speaks to me-never. He comes home before dinner at +half-past six, and when he has just shown himself he goes to his +dressing-room. He is always silent at dinner-time, and after dinner he +goes to sleep. He breakfasts always at nine, and goes away at half-past +nine, though I know he does not get to his office till eleven. If I +want anything, he says that it cannot be afforded. I never thought +before that he was stingy, but I am sure now that he must he a miser at +heart." + +"It is better so than a spendthrift, Alexandrina." + +"I don't know that it is better. He could not make me more unhappy than +I am. Unhappy is no word for it. What can I do, shut up in such a house +as that by myself from nine o'clock in the morning till six in the +evening? Everybody knows what he is, so that nobody will come to see +me. I tell you fairly, mamma, I will not stand it. If you cannot help +me, I will look for help elsewhere." + +It may, at any rate, be said that things were not going well with that +branch of the De Courcy family. Nor, indeed, was it going well with +some other branches. Lord Porlock had married, not having selected his +partner for life from the choicest cream of the aristocratic circles, +and his mother, while endeavouring to say a word in his favour, had +been so abused by the earl that she had been driven to declare that she +could no longer endure such usage. She had come up to London in direct +opposition to his commands, while he was fastened to his room by gout; +and had given her party in defiance of him, so that people should not +say, when her back was turned, that she had slunk away in despair. + +"I have borne it," she said to Margaretta, "longer than any other woman +in England would have done. While I thought that any of you would +marry-" + +"Oh, don't talk of that, mamma," said Margaretta, putting a little +scorn into her voice. She had not been quite pleased that even her +mother should intimate that all her chance was over, and yet she +herself had often told her mother that she had given up all thought of +marrying. + +"Rosina will go to Amelia's," the countess continued; "Mr Gazebee is +quite satisfied that it should be so, and he will take care that she +shall have enough to cover her own expenses. I propose that you and I, +dear, shall go to Baden-Baden." + +"And about money, mamma?" + +"Mr Gazebee must manage it. In spite of all that your father says, I +know that there must be money. The expense will be much less so than in +our present way." + +"And what will papa do himself?" + +"I cannot help it, my dear. No one knows what I have had to bear. +Another year of it would kill me. His language has become worse and +worse, and I fear every day that he is going to strike me with his +crutch." + +Under all these circumstances it cannot be said that the De Courcy +interests were prospering. + +But Lady de Courcy, when she had made up her mind to go to Baden-Baden, +had by no means intended to take her youngest daughter with her. She +had endured for years, and now Alexandrina was unable to endure for six +months. Her chief grievance, moreover, was this-that her husband was +silent. The mother felt that no woman had a right to complain much of +any such sorrow as that. If her earl had sinned only in that way, she +would have been content to have remained by him till the last! + +And yet I do not know whether Alexandrina's life was not quite as hard +as that of her mother. She barely exceeded the truth when she said that +he never spoke to her. The hours with her in her new comfortless house +were very long-very long and very tedious. Marriage with her had by no +means been the thing that she had expected. At home, with her mother, +there had always been people around her, but they had not always been +such as she herself would have chosen for her companions. She had +thought that, when married, she could choose and have those about her +who were congenial to her: but she found that none came to her. Her +sister, who was a wiser woman than she, had begun her married life with +a definite idea, and had carried it out; but this poor creature found +herself, as it were, stranded. When once she had conceived it in her +heart to feel anger against her husband-and she had done so before they +had been a week together-there was no love to bring her back to him +again. She cid not know that it behoved her to look pleased when he +entered the room, and to make him at any rate think that his presence +gave her happiness. She became gloomy before she reached her new house, +and never laid her gloom aside. He would have made a struggle for some +domestic comfort, had any seemed to be within his reach. As it was, he +struggled for domestic propriety, believing that he might so best +bolster up his present lot in life. But the task became harder and +harder to him, and the gloom became denser and more dense. He did not +think of her unhappiness, but of his own; as she did not think of his +tedium, but of hers. "If this be domestic felicity!" he would say to +himself, as he sat in his arm-chair, striving to fix his attention upon +a book. + +"If this be the happiness of married life!" she thought, as she +remained listless, without even the pretence of a book, behind her +teacups. In truth she would not walk with him, not caring for such +exercise round the pavement of a London square; and he had resolutely +determined that she should not run into debt for carriage hire. He was +not a curmudgeon with his money; he was no miser. But he had found that +in marrying an earl's daughter he had made himself a poor man, and he +was resolved that he would not also be an embarrassed man. + +When the bride heard that her mother and sister were about to escape to +Baden-Baden, there rushed upon her a sudden hope that she might be able +to accompany the flight. She would not be parted from her husband, or +at least not so parted that the world should suppose that they had +quarrelled. She would simply go away and make a long visit-a very long +visit. Two years ago a sojourn with her mother and Margaretta at +Baden-Baden would not have offered to her much that was attractive; but +now, in her eyes, such a life seemed to be a life in Paradise. In +truth, the tedium of those hours in Princess Royal Crescent had been +very heavy. + +But how could she contrive that it should be so? That conversation with +her mother had taken place on the day preceding the party, and Lady de +Courcy had repeated it with dismay to Margaretta. + +"Of course he would allow her an income," Margaretta had coolly said. + +"But, my dear, they have been married only ten weeks." + +"I don't see why anybody is to be made absolutely wretched because they +are married," Margaretta answered. "I don't want to persuade her to +leave him, but if what she says is true, it must be very uncomfortable." + +Crosbie had consented to go to the party in Portman Square, but had not +greatly enjoyed himself on that festive occasion. He had stood about +moodily, speaking hardly a word to any one. His whole aspect of life +seemed to have been altered during the last few months. It was here, in +such spots as this that he had been used to find his glory. On such +occasions he had shone with peculiar light, making envious the hearts +of many who watched the brilliance of his career as they stood around +in dull quiescence. But now no one in those rooms had been more dull, +more silent, or less courted than he; and yet he was established there +as the son-in-law of that noble house. "Rather slow work; isn't it?" +Gazebee had said to him, having, after many efforts, succeeded in +reaching his brother-in-law in a corner. In answer to this Crosbie had +only grunted. "As for myself," continued Gazebee, "I would a deal +sooner be at home with my paper and slippers. It seems to me these sort +of gatherings don't suit married men." Crosbie had again grunted, and +had then escaped into another corner. + +Crosbie and his wife went home together in a cab-speechless both of +them. Alexandrina hated cabs-but she had been plainly told that in such +vehicles, and in such vehicles only, could she be allowed to travel. On +the following morning he was at the breakfast-table punctually by nine, +but she did not make her appearance till after he had gone to his +office. Soon after that, however, she was away to her mother and her +sister; but she was seated grimly in her drawing-room when he came in +to see her, on his return to his house. Having said some word which +might be taken for a greeting, he was about to retire; but she stopped +him with a request that he would speak to her. + +"Certainly," said he. "I was only going to dress. It is nearly the +half-hour." + +"I won't keep you very long, and if dinner is a few minutes late it +won't signify. Mamma and Margaretta are going to Baden-Baden." + +"To Baden-Baden, are they?" + +"Yes; and they intend to remain there-for a considerable time." There +was a little pause, and Alexandrina found it necessary to clear her +voice and to prepare herself for further speech by a little cough. She +was determined to make her proposition, but was rather afraid of the +manner in which it might be first received. + +"Has anything happened at Courcy Castle?" Crosbie asked. + +"No; that is, yes; there may have been some words between papa and +mamma; but I don't quite know. That, however, does not matter now. +Mamma is going, and purposes to remain there for the rest of the year." + +"And the house in town will be given up." + +"I suppose so, but that will be as papa chooses. Have you any objection +to my going with mamma?" + +What a question to be asked by a bride of ten weeks standing! She had +hardly been above a month with her husband in her new house, and she +was now asking permission to leave it, and to leave him also, for an +indefinite number of months-perhaps for ever. But she showed no +excitement as she made her request. There was neither sorrow, nor +regret, nor hope in her face. She had not put on half the animation +which she had once assumed in asking for the use, twice a week, of a +carriage done up to look as though it were her own private possession. +Crosbie had then answered her with great sternness, and she had wept +when his refusal was made certain to her. But there was to be no +weeping now. She meant to go-with his permission if he would accord it, +and without it if he should refuse it. The question of money was no +doubt important, but Gazebee should manage that-as he managed all those +things. + +"Going with them to Baden-Baden?" said Crosbie. "For how long?" + +"Well: it would be no use unless it were for some time." + +"For how long a time do you mean, Alexandrina? Speak out what you +really have to say. For a month?" + +"Oh, more than that." + +"For two months, or six, or as long as they may stay there?" + +"We could settle that afterwards, when I am there." During all this +time she did not once look into his face, though he was looking hard at +her throughout. + +"You mean," said he, "that you wish to go away from me." + +"In one sense it would be going away, certainly." + +"But in the ordinary sense? is it not so? When you talk of going to +Baden-Baden for an unlimited number of months, have you any idea of +coming back again?" + +"Back to London, you mean?" + +"Back to me-to my house-to your duties as a wife! Why cannot you say at +once what it is you want? You wish to be separated from me?" + +"I am not happy here-in this house." + +"And who chose the house? Did I want to come here? But it is not that. +If you are not happy here, what could you have in any other house to +make you happy?" + +"If you were left alone in this room for seven or eight hours at a +time, without a soul to come to you, you would know what I mean. And +even after that, it is not much better. You never speak to me when you +are here." + +"Is it my fault that nobody comes to you? The fact is, Alexandrina, +that you will not reconcile yourself to the manner of life which is +suitable to my income. You are wretched because you cannot have +yourself driven round the Park. I cannot find you a carriage, and will +not attempt to do so. You may go to Baden-Baden, if you please-that is, +if your mother is willing to take you." + +"Of course I must pay my own expenses," said Alexandrina. But to this +he made no answer on the moment. As soon as he had given his permission +he had risen from his seat and was going, and her last words only +caught him in the doorway. After all, would not this be the cheapest +arrangement that he could make? As he went through his calculations he +stood up with his elbow on the mantelpiece in his dressing-room. He had +scolded his wife because she had been unhappy with him; but had he not +been quite as unhappy with her? Would it not be better that they should +part in this quiet, half-unnoticed way-that they should part and never +again come together? He was lucky in this, that hitherto had come upon +them no prospect of any little Crosbie to mar the advantages of such an +arrangement. If he gave her four hundred a year, and allowed Gazebee +two more towards the paying off of encumbrances, he would still have +six on which to enjoy himself in London. Of course he could not live as +he had lived in those happy days before his marriage, nor, +independently of the cost, would such a mode of life be within his +reach. But he might go to his club for his dinners; he might smoke his +cigar in luxury; he would not be bound to that wooden home which, in +spite of all his resolutions, had become almost unendurable to him. So +he made his calculations, and found that it would be well that his +bride should go. He would give over his house and furniture to Gazebee, +allowing Gazebee to do as he would about that. To be once more a +bachelor, in lodgings, with six hundred a year to spend on himself, +seemed to him now such a prospect of happiness that he almost became +light-hearted as he dressed himself. He would let her go to Baden Baden. + +There was nothing said about it at dinner, nor did he mention the +subject again till the servant had left the tea-things on the +drawing-room table. "You can go with your mother if you like it," he +then said. + +"I think it will be best," she answered. + +"Perhaps it will. At any rate you shall suit yourself." + +"And about money?" + +"You had better leave me to speak to Gazebee about that." + +"Very well. Will you have some tea?" And then the whole thing was +finished. + +On the next day she went after lunch to her mother's house, and never +came back again to Princess Royal Crescent. During that morning she +packed up those things which she cared to pack herself, and sent her +sisters there, with an old family servant, to bring away whatever else +might be supposed to belong to her. "Dear, dear," said Amelia, "what +trouble I had in getting these things together for them, and only the +other day. I can't but think she's wrong to go away." + +"I don't know," said Margaretta. "She has not been so lucky as you have +in the man she has married. I always felt that she would find it +difficult to manage him." + +"But, my dear, she has not tried. She has given up at once. It isn't +management that was wanting. The fact is that when Alexandrina began +she didn't make up her mind to the kind of thing she was coming to. I +did. I knew it wasn't to be all party-going and that sort of thing. But +I must own that Crosbie isn't the same sort of man as Mortimer. I don't +think I could have gone on with him. You might as well have those small +books put up; he won't care about them." And in this way Crosbie's +house was dismantled. + +She saw him no more, for he made no farewell visit to the house in +Portman Square. A note had been brought to him at his office: "I am +here with mamma, and may as well say good-bye now. We start on Tuesday. +If you wish to write, you can send your letters to the housekeeper +here. I hope you will make yourself comfortable, and that you will be +well. Yours affectionately, A. C." He made no answer to it, but went +that day and dined at his club. + +"I haven't seen you this age," said Montgomerie Dobbs. + +"No. My wife is going abroad with her mother, and while she is away I +shall come back here again." + +There was nothing more said to him, and no one ever made any inquiry +about his domestic affairs. It seemed to him now as though he had no +friend sufficiently intimate with him to ask him after his wife or +family. She was gone, and in a month's time he found himself again in +Mount Street-beginning the world with five hundred a year, not six. For +Mr Gazebee, when the reckoning came, showed him that a larger income at +the present moment was not possible for him. The countess had for a +long time refused to let Lady Alexandrina go with her on so small a +pittance as four hundred and fifty-and then were there not the +insurances to be maintained? + +But I think he would have consented to accept his liberty with three +hundred a year-so great to him was the relief. + +CHAPTER LVII + +LILIAN DALE VANQUISHES HER MOTHER + +Mrs Dale had been present during the interview in which John Eames had +made his prayer to her daughter, but she had said little or nothing on +that occasion. All her wishes had been in favour of the suitor, but she +had not dared to express them, neither had she dared to leave the room. +It had been hard upon him to be thus forced to declare his love in the +presence of a third person, but he had done it, and had gone away with +his answer. Then, when the thing was over, Lily, without any communion +with her mother, took herself off, and was no more seen till the +evening hours had come on, in which it was natural that they should be +together again. + +Mrs Dale, when thus alone, had been able to think of nothing but this +new suit for her daughter's hand. If only it might be accomplished! If +any words from her to Lily might be efficacious to such an end! And +yet, hitherto, she had been afraid almost to utter a word. + +She knew that it was very difficult. She declared to herself over and +over that he had come too soon-that the attempt had been made too +quickly after that other shipwreck. How was it possible that the ship +should put to sea again at once, with all her timbers so rudely +strained? And yet, now that the attempt had been made, now that Eames +had uttered his request and been sent away with an answer, she felt +that she must at once speak to Lily on the subject, if ever she were to +speak upon it. She thought that she understood her child and all her +feelings. She recognised the violence of the shock which must be +encountered before Lily could be brought to acknowledge such a change +in her heart. But if the thing could be done, Lily would be a happy +woman. When once done it would be in all respects a blessing. And if it +were not done, might not Lily's life be blank, lonely, and loveless to +the end? Yet when Lily came down in the evening, with some light, +half-joking word on her lips, as was usual to her, Mrs Dale was still +afraid to venture upon her task. + +"I suppose, mamma, we may consider it as a settled thing that +everything must be again unpacked, and that the lodging scheme will be +given up." + +"I don't know that, my dear." + +"Oh, but I do-after what you said just now. What geese everybody will +think us!" + +"I shouldn't care a bit for that, if we didn't think ourselves geese, +or if your uncle did not think us so." + +"I believe he would think we were swans. If I had ever thought he would +be so much in earnest about it, or that he would ever have cared about +our being here, I would never have voted for going. But he is so +strange. He is affectionate when he ought to he angry, and ill-natured +when he ought to be gentle and kind." + +"He has, at any rate, given us reason to feel sure of his affection." + +"For us girls, I never doubted it. But, mamma, I don't think I could +face Mrs Boyce. Mrs Hearn and Mrs Crump would be very bad, and Hopkins +would come down upon us terribly when he found that we had given way. +But Mrs Boyce would be worse than any of them. Can't you fancy the tone +of her congratulations? " +"I think I should survive Mrs Boyce." + +"Ah, yes; because we should have to go and tell her. I know your +cowardice of old, mamma; don't I? And Bell wouldn't care a bit, because +of her lover. Mrs Boyce will be nothing to her. It is I that must bear +it all. Well, I don't mind; I'll vote for staying if you will promise +to be happy here. Oh, mamma, I'll vote for anything if you will be +happy." + +"And will you be happy?" + +"Yes, as happy as the day is long. Only I know we shall never see Bell. +People never do see each other when they live just at that distance. +It's too near for long visits, and too far for short visits. I'll tell +you what; we might make arrangements each to walk half-way, and meet at +the corner of Lord de Guest's wood. I wonder whether they'd let us put +up a seat there. I think we might have a little house and carry +sandwiches and a bottle of beer. Couldn't we see something of each +other in that way?" + +Thus it came to be the fixed idea of both of them that they would +abandon their plan of migrating to Guestwick, and on this subject they +continued to talk over their tea-table; but on that evening Mrs Dale +ventured to say nothing about John Eames. + +But they did not even yet dare to commence the work of reconstructing +their old home. Bell must come back before they would do that, and the +express assent of the squire must be formally obtained. Mrs Dale must, +in a degree, acknowledge herself to have been wrong, and ask to be +forgiven for her contumacy. + +"I suppose the three of us had better go up in sackcloth, and throw +ashes on our foreheads as we meet Hopkins in the garden," said Lily, +"and then I know he'll heap coals of fire on our heads by sending us an +early dish of peas. And Dingles would bring us in a pheasant, only that +pheasants don't grow in May." + +"If the sackcloth doesn't take an unpleasanter shape than that, I +shan't mind it." + +"That's because you've got no delicate feelings. And then Uncle +Christopher's gratitude!" + +"Ah! I shall feel that." + +"But, mamma, we'll wait till Bell comes home. She shall decide. She is +going away, and therefore she'll be free from prejudice. If uncle +offers to paint the house-and I know he will-then I shall be humbled to +the dust." + +But yet Mrs Dale had said nothing on the subject which was nearest to +her heart. When Lily in pleasantry had accused her of cowardice, her +mind had instantly gone off to that other matter, and she had told +herself that she was a coward. Why should she be afraid of offering her +counsel to her own child? It seemed to her as though she had neglected +some duty in allowing Crosbie's conduct to have passed away without +hardly a word of comment on it between herself and Lily. Should she not +have forced upon her daughter's conviction the fact that Crosbie had +been a villain, and as such should be discarded from her heart? As it +was, Lily had spoken the simple truth when she told John Eames that she +was dealing more openly with him on that affair of her engagement than +she had ever dealt, even with her mother. Thinking of this as she sat +in her own room that night, before she allowed herself to rest, Mrs +Dale resolved that on the next morning she would endeavour to make Lily +see as she saw and think as she thought. + +She let breakfast pass by before she began her task, and even then she +did not rush at it at once. Lily sat herself down to her work when the +teacups were taken away, and Mrs Dale went down to her kitchen as was +her wont. It was nearly eleven before she seated herself in the +parlour, and even then she got her work-box before her and took out her +needle. + +"I wonder how Bell gets on with Lady Julia," said Lily. + +"Very well, I'm sure." + +"Lady Julia won't bite her, I know, and I suppose her dismay at the +tall footmen has passed off by this time." + +"I don't know that they have any tall footmen." + +"Short footmen then-you know what I mean; all the noble belongings. +They must startle one at first, I'm sure, let one determine ever so +much not to be startled. It's a very mean thing, no doubt, to be afraid +of a lord merely because he is a lord; yet I'm sure I should be afraid +at first, even of Lord de Guest, if I were staying in the house." + +"It's well you didn't go then." + +"Yes, I think it is. Bell is of a firmer mind, and I dare say she'll +get over it after the first day. But what on earth does she do there? I +wonder whether they mend their stockings in such a house as that." + +"Not in public, I should think." + +"In very grand houses they throw them away at once, I suppose. I've +often thought about it. Do you believe the Prime Minister ever has his +shoes sent to a cobbler? + +"Perhaps a regular shoemaker will condescend to mend a Prime Minister's +shoes." + +"You do think they are mended then? But who orders it? Does he see +himself when there's a little hole coming, as I do? Does an archbishop +allow himself so many pairs of gloves in a year?" + +"Not very strictly, I should think." + +"Then I suppose it comes to this, that he has a new pair whenever he +wants them. But what constitutes the want? Does he ever say to himself +that they'll do for another Sunday? I remember the bishop coming here +once, and he had a hole at the end of his thumb. I was going to be +confirmed, and I remember thinking that he ought to have been smarter." + +"Why didn't you offer to mend it?" + +"I shouldn't have dared for all the world." + +The conversation had commenced itself in a manner that did not promise +much assistance to Mrs Dale's project. When Lily got upon any subject, +she was not easily induced to leave it, and when her mind had twisted +itself in one direction, it was difficult to untwist it. She was now +bent on a consideration of the smaller social habits of the high and +mighty among us, and was asking her mother whether she supposed that +the royal children ever carried halfpence in their pockets, or +descended so low as fourpenny-bits. + +"I suppose they have pockets like other children," said Lily. But her +mother stopped her suddenly-"Lily, dear, I want to say something to you +about John Eames." + +"Mamma, I'd sooner talk about the Royal Family just at present." + +"But, dear, you must forgive me if I persist. I have thought much about +it, and I'm sure you will not oppose me when I am doing what I think to +be my duty." + +"No, mamma; I won't oppose you, certainly." + +"Since Mr Crosbie's conduct was made known to you, I have mentioned his +name in your hearing very seldom." + +"No, mamma, you have not. And I have loved you so dearly for your +goodness to me. Do not think that I have not understood and known how +generous you have been. No other mother ever was so good as you have +been. I have known it all, and thought of it every day of my life, and +thanked you in my heart for your trusting silence. Of course, I +understand your feelings. You think him bad and you hate him for what +he has done." + +"I would not willingly hate any one, Lily." + +"Ah, but you do hate him. If I were you, I should hate him; but I am +not you, and I love him. I pray for his happiness every night and +morning, and for hers. I have forgiven him altogether, and I think that +he was right. When I am old enough to do so without being wrong, I will +go to him and tell him so. I should like to hear of all his doings and +all his success, if it were only possible. How, then, can you and I +talk about him? It is impossible. You have been silent and I have been +silent-let us remain silent." + +"It is not about Mr Crosbie that I wish to speak. But I think you ought +to understand that conduct such as his will be rebuked by all the +world. You may forgive him, but you should acknowledge-" + +"Mamma, I don't want to acknowledge anything-not about him. There are +things as to which a person cannot argue." Mrs Dale felt that this +present matter was one as to which she could not argue. "Of course, +mamma," continued Lily, "I don't want to oppose you in anything, but I +think we had better be silent about this." + +"Of course I am thinking only of your future happiness." + +"I know you are; but pray believe me that you need not be alarmed. I do +not mean to be unhappy. Indeed, I think I may say I am not unhappy; of +course I have been unhappy-very unhappy. I did think that my heart +would break. But that has passed away, and I believe I can be as happy +as my neighbours. We're all of us sure to have some troubles, as you +used to tell us when we were children." + +Mrs Dale felt that she had begun wrong, and that she would have been +able to make better progress had she omitted all mention of Crosbie's +name. She knew exactly what it was that she wished to say-what were the +arguments which she desired to expound before her daughter; but she did +not know what language to use, or how she might best put her thoughts +into words. She paused for a while, and Lily went on with her work as +though the conversation was over. But the conversation was not over. + +"It was about John Eames, and not about Mr Crosbie, that I wished to +speak to you." + +"Oh, mamma!" + +"My dear, you must not hinder me in doing what I think to be a duty. I +heard what he said to you and what you replied, and of course I cannot +but have my mind full of the subject. Why should you set yourself +against him in so fixed a manner?" + +"Because I love another man." These words she spoke out loud, in a +steady, almost dogged tone, with a certain show of audacity-as though +aware that the declaration was unseemly, but resolved that, though +unseemly, it must be made. + +"But, Lily, that love, from its very nature, must cease; or, rather, +such love is not the same as that you felt when you thought that you +were to he his wife." + +"Yes, it is. If she died, and he came to me in five years time, I would +still take him. I should think myself constrained to take him." + +"But she is not dead, nor likely to die." + +"That makes no difference. You don't understand me, mamma." + +"I think I do, and I want you to understand me also. I know how +difficult is your position; I know what your feelings are; but I know +this also, that if you could reason with yourself, and bring yourself +in time to receive John Eames as a dear friend-" + +"I did receive him as a dear friend. Why not? He is a dear friend. I +love him heartily-as you do." + +"You know what I mean?" + +"Yes, I do; and I tell you it is impossible." + +"If you would make the attempt, all this misery would soon be +forgotten. If once you could bring yourself to regard him as a friend, +who might become your husband, all this would be changed-and I should +see you happy!" + +"You are strangely anxious to be rid of me, mamma!" + +"Yes, Lily-to be rid of you in that way. If I could see you put your +hand in his as his promised wife, I think that I should be the happiest +woman in the world." +"Mamma, I cannot make you happy in that way. If you really understood +my feelings, my doing as you propose would make you very unhappy. I +should commit a great sin-the sin against which women should be more +guarded than against any other. In my heart I am married to that other +man. I gave myself to him, and loved him, and rejoiced in his love. +When he kissed me I kissed him again, and I longed for his kisses. I +seemed to live only that he might caress me. All that time I never felt +myself to be wrong-because he was all in all to me. I was his own. That +has been changed-to my great misfortune; but it cannot be undone or +forgotten. I cannot be the girl I was before he came here. There are +things that will not have themselves buried and put out of sight, as +though they had never been. I am as you are, mamma-widowed. But you +have your daughter, and I have my mother. If you will be contented, so +will I." Then she got up and threw herself on her mother's neck. + +Mrs Dale's argument was over now. To such an appeal as that last made +by Lily no rejoinder on her part was possible. After that she was +driven to acknowledge to herself that she must be silent. Years as they +rolled on might make a change, but no reasoning could be of avail. She +embraced her daughter, weeping over her-whereas Lily's eyes were dry. +"It shall be as you will," Mrs Dale murmured. + +"Yes, as I will. I shall have my own way; shall I not? That is all I +want; to be a tyrant over you, and make you do my bidding in +everything, as a well-behaved mother should do. But I won't be stern in +my orderings. If you will only be obedient, I will be so gracious to +you! There's Hopkins again. I wonder whether he has come to knock us +down and trample upon us with another speech." + +Hopkins knew very well to which window he must come, as only one of the +rooms was at the present time habitable. He came up to the dining-room, +and almost flattened his nose against the glass. + +"Well, Hopkins," said Lily, "here we are." Mrs Dale had turned her face +away, for she knew that the tears were still on her cheek. + +"Yes, miss, I see you. I want to speak to your mamma, miss." + +"Come round," said Lily, anxious to spare her mother the necessity of +showing herself at once. "It's too cold to open the window; come round, +and I'll open the door." + +"Too cold!" muttered Hopkins, as he went. "They'll find it a deal +colder in lodgings at Guestwick." However, he. went round through the +kitchen, and Lily met him in the hall. + +"Well, Hopkins, what is it? Mamma has got a headache." + +"Got a headache, has she? I won't make her headache no worse. It's my +opinion that there's nothing for a headache so good as fresh air. Only +some people can't abear to be blowed upon, not for a minute. If you +don't let down the lights in a greenhouse more or less every day, +you'll never get any plants-never-and it's just the same with the +grapes. Is I to go back and say as how I couldn't see her?" + +"You can come in if you like; only be quiet, you know." + +"Ain't I ollays quiet, miss? Did anybody ever hear me rampage? If you +please, ma'am, the squire's come home.' + +"What, home from Guestwick? Has he brought Miss Bell? + +"He ain't brought none but hisself, cause he come on horseback; and +it's my belief he's going back almost immediate. But he wants you to +come to him, Mrs Dale." + +"Oh, yes, I'll come at once." + +"He bade me say with his kind love. I don't know whether that makes any +difference." + +"At any rate, I'll come, Hopkins." + +"And I ain't to say nothing about the headache?" + +"About what? "said Mrs Dale. + +"No, no, no," said Lily. "Mamma will be there at once. Go and tell my +uncle, there's a good man," and she put up her hand and backed him out +of the room. + +"I don't believe she's got no headache at all," said Hopkins, +grumbling, as he returned through the back premises. "What lies +gentlefolks do tell! If I said I'd a headache when I ought to be out +among the things, what would they say to me? But a poor man mustn't +never lie, nor yet drink, nor yet do nothing." And so he went back with +his message. + +"What can have brought your uncle home? "said Mrs Dale. + +"Just to look after the cattle, and to see that the pigs are not all +dead. My wonder is that he should ever have gone away." + +"I must go up to him at once." + +"Oh, yes, of course." + +"And what shall I say about the house?" + +"It's not about that-at least I think not. I don't think he'll speak +about that again till you speak to him." + +"But if he does?" + +"You must put your trust in Providence. Declare you've got a bad +headache, as I told Hopkins just now; only you would throw me over by +not understanding. I'll walk with you down to the bridge." So they went +off together across the lawn. + +But Lily was soon left alone, and continued her walk, waiting for her +mother's return. As she went round and round the gravel paths, she +thought of the words that she had said to her mother. She had declared +that she also was widowed. "And so it should be," she said, debating +the matter with herself. +What can a heart be worth if it can be transferred hither and thither +as circumstances and convenience and comfort may require? When he held +me here in his arms"-and, as the thoughts ran through her brain, she +remembered the very spot on which they had stood-"oh, my love!" she had +said to him then as she returned his kisses-"oh, my love, my love, my +love!" "When he held me here in his arms, I told myself that it was +right, because he was my husband. He has changed, but I have not. It +might be that I should have ceased to love him, and then I should have +told him so. I should have done as he did." But, as she came to this, +she shuddered, thinking of the Lady Alexandrina. "It was very quick," +she said, still speaking to herself; "very, very. But then men are not +the same as women." And she walked on eagerly, hardly remembering where +she was, thinking over it all, as she did daily; remembering every +little thought and word of those few eventful months in which she had +learned to regard Crosbie as her husband and master. She had declared +that she had conquered her unhappiness; but there were moments in which +she was almost wild with misery. "Tell me to forget him!" she said. "It +is the one thing which will never be forgotten." + +At last she heard her mother's step coming down across the squire's +garden, and she took up her post at the bridge. + +"Stand and deliver," she said, as her mother put her foot upon the +plank. "That is, if you've got anything worth delivering. Is anything +settled?" + +"Come up to the house," said Mrs Dale, "and I'll tell you all." + +CHAPTER LVIII + +THE FATE OF THE SMALL HOUSE + +There was something in the tone of Mrs Dale's voice, as she desired her +daughter to come up to the house, and declared that her budget of news +should be opened there, which at once silenced Lily's assumed +pleasantry. Her mother had been away fully two hours, during which Lily +had still continued her walk round the garden, till at last she had +become impatient for her mother's footstep. Something serious must have +been said between her uncle and her mother during those long two hours. +The interviews to which Mrs Dale was occasionally summoned at the Great +House did not usually exceed twenty minutes, and the upshot would be +communicated to the girls in a turn or two round the garden; but in the +present instance Mrs Dale positively declined to speak till she was +seated within the house. + +"Did he come over on purpose to see you, mamma?" + +"Yes, my dear, I believe so. He wished to see you, too; but I asked his +permission to postpone that till after I had talked to you." + +"To see me, mamma? About what?" + +"To kiss you, and bid you love him; solely for that. He has not a word +to say to you that will vex you." + +"Then I will kiss him, and love him, too." + +"Yes, you will when I have told you all. I have promised him solemnly +to give up all idea of going to Guestwick. So that is over." + +"Oh, oh! And we may begin to unpack at once? What an episode in one's +life!" + +"We may certainly unpack, for I have pledged myself to him; and he is +to go into Guestwick himself and arrange about the lodgings." + +"Does Hopkins know it?" + +"I should think not yet." + +"Nor Mrs Boyce! Mamma, I don't believe I shall be able to survive this +next week. We shall look such fools! I'll tell you what we'll do-it +will be the only comfort I can have-we'll go to work and get everything +back into its place before Bell comes home, so as to surprise her." + +"What! in two days?" + +"Why not? I'll make Hopkins come and help, and then he'll not be so +bad. I'll begin at once and go to the blankets and beds, because I can +undo them myself." + +"But I haven't half told you all; and, indeed, I don't know how to make +you understand what passed between us. He is very unhappy about +Bernard; Bernard has determined to go abroad, and may be away for +years." +"One can hardly blame a man for following up his profession." + +"There was no blaming. He only said that it was very sad for him that, +in his old age, he should be left alone. This was before there was any +talk about our remaining. Indeed he seemed determined not to ask that +again as a favour. I could see that in his eye, and I understood it +from his tone. He went on to speak of you and Bell, saying how well he +loved you both; but that, unfortunately, his hopes regarding you had +not been fulfilled." + +"Ah, but he shouldn't have had hopes of that sort." + +"Listen, my dear, and I think that you will not feel angry with him. He +said that he felt his house had never been pleasant to you. Then there +followed words which I could not repeat, even if I could remember them. +He said much about myself, regretting that the feeling between us had +not been more kindly. But my heart, he said, has ever been kinder than +my words. Then I got up from where I was seated, and going over to him, +I told him that we would remain here." + +"And what did he say?" + +"I don't know what he said. I know that I was crying, and that he +kissed me. It was the first time in his life. I know that he was +pleased-beyond measure pleased. After a while he became animated, and +talked of doing ever so many things. He promised that very painting of +which you spoke." + +"Ah, yes, I knew it; and Hopkins will be here with the peas before +dinner-time to-morrow, and Dingles with his shoulders smothered with +rabbits. And then Mrs Boyce! Mamma, he didn't think of Mrs Boyce; or, +in very charity of heart, he would still have maintained his sadness." + +"Then he did not think of her; for when I left him he was not at all +sad. But I haven't told you half yet." + +"Dear me, mamma; was there more than that?" + +"And I've told it all wrong; for what I've got to tell now was said +before a. word was spoken about the house. He brought it in just after +what he said about Bernard. He said that Bernard would, of course, be +his heir." + +"Of course he will." + +"And that he should think it wrong to encumber the property with any +charges for you girls." + +"Mamma, did any one ever-" + +"Stop, Lily, stop; and make your heart kinder towards him if you can." + +"It is kind; only I hate to be told that I'm not to have a lot of +money, as though I had ever shown a desire for it. I have never envied +Bernard his man-servant, or his maid-servant, or his ox, or his ass, or +anything that is his. To tell the truth I didn't even wish it to be +Bell's, because I knew well that there was somebody she would like a +great deal better than ever she could like Bernard." + +"I shall never get to the end of my story." + +"Yes, you will, mamma, if you persevere." + +"The long and the short of it is this, that he has given Bell three +thousand pounds, and has given you three thousand also." + +"But why me, mamma?" said Lily, and the colour of her cheeks became red +as she spoke. There should if possible be nothing more said about John +Eames; but whatever might or might not be the necessity of speaking, at +any rate, let there be no mistake. + +"But why me, mamma?" + +"Because, as he explained to me, he thinks it right to do the same by +each of you. The money is yours at this moment-to buy hair-pins with, +if you please. I had no idea that he could command so large a sum." + +"Three thousand pounds! The last money he gave me was half-a-crown, and +I thought that he was so stingy! I particularly wanted ten shillings. I +should have liked it so much better now if he had given me a nice new +five-pound note." + +"You'd better tell him so." + +"No; because then he'd give me that too. But with five pounds I should +have the feeling that I might do what I liked with it-buy a +dressing-case, and a thing for a squirrel to run round in. But nobody +ever gives girls money like that, so that they can enjoy it." + +"Oh, Lily; you ungrateful child!" + +"No, I deny it. I'm not ungrateful. I'm very grateful, because his +heart was softened-and because he cried and kissed you. I'll be ever so +good to him! But how I'm to thank him for giving me three thousand +pounds, I cannot think. It's a sort of thing altogether beyond my line +of life. It sounds like something that's to come to me in another +world, but which I don't want quite yet. I am grateful, but with a +misty, mazy sort of gratitude. Can you tell me how soon I shall have a +new pair of Balmoral boots because of this money? If that were brought +home to me I think it would enliven my gratitude." + +The squire, as he rode back to Guestwick, fell again from that +animation, which Mrs Dale had described, into his natural sombre mood. +He thought much of his past life, declaring to himself the truth of +those words in which he had told his sister in-law that his heart had +ever been kinder than his words. But the world, and all those nearest +to him in the world, had judged him always by his words rather than by +his heart. They had taken the appearance, which he could not command or +alter, rather than the facts, of which he had been the master. Had he +not been good to all his relations?-and yet was there one among them +that cared for him? "I'm almost sorry that they are going to stay," he +said to himself-"I know that I shall disappoint them." Yet when he met +Bell at the Manor House he accosted her cheerily, telling her with much +appearance of satisfaction that that flitting into Guestwick was not to +be accomplished. + +"I am so glad," said she. "It is long since I wished it." + +"And I do not think your mother wishes it now." + +"I am sure she does not. It was all a misunderstanding from the first. +When some of us could not do all that you wished, we thought it +better-" Then Bell paused, finding that she would get herself into a +mess if she persevered. + +"We will not say any more about it," said the squire. "The thing is +over, and I am very glad that it should be so pleasantly settled. I was +talking to Dr Crofts yesterday." + +"Were you, uncle? + +"Yes; and he is to come and stay with me the day before he is married. +We have arranged it all. And we'll have the breakfast up at the Great +House. Only you must fix the day. I should say some time in March. And, +my dear, you'll want to make yourself fine; here's a little money for +you. You are to spend that before your marriage, you know." Then he +shambled away, and as soon as he was alone, again became sad and +despondent. He was a man for whom we may predicate some gentle sadness +and continued despondency to the end of his life's chapter. + +We left John Eames in the custody of Lady Julia, who had overtaken him +in the act of erasing Lily's name from the railing which ran across the +brook. He had been premeditating an escape home to his mother's house +in Guestwick, and thence hack to London, without making any further +appearance at the Manor House. But as soon as he heard Lady Julia's +step, and saw her figure close upon him, he knew that his retreat was +cut off from him. So he allowed himself to be led away quietly up to +the house. With Lady Julia herself he openly discussed the whole +matter-telling her that his hopes were over, his happiness gone, and +his heart half-broken. Though he would perhaps have cared but little +for her congratulations in success, he could make himself more amenable +to consolation and sympathy from her than from any other inmate in the +earl's house. "I don't know what I shall say to your brother," he +whispered to her, as they approached the side door at which she +intended to enter. + +"Will you let me break it to him? After that he will say a few words to +you of course, but you need not be afraid of him." + +"And Mr Dale?" said Johnny. "Everybody has heard about it. Everybody +will know what a fool I have made myself." She suggested that the earl +should speak to the squire, assured him that nobody would think him at +all foolish, and then left him to make his way up to his own bedroom. +When there he found a letter from Cradell, which had been delivered in +his absence; but the contents of that letter may best be deferred to +the next chapter. They were not of a nature to give him comfort or to +add to his sorrow. + +About an hour before dinner there was a knock at his door, and the earl +himself, when summoned, made his appearance in the room. He was dressed +in his usual farming attire, having been caught by Lady Julia on the +first approach to the house, and had come away direct to his young +friend, after having been duly trained in what he ought to say by his +kind-hearted sister. I am not, however, prepared to declare that he +strictly followed his sister's teaching in all that he said upon the +occasion. + +"Well, my boy," he began, "so the young lady has been perverse." + +"Yes, my lord. That is, I don't know about being perverse. It is all +over." +"That's as may be, Johnny. As far as I know, not half of them accept +their lovers the first time of asking." + +"I shall not ask her again." + +"Oh, yes, you will. You don't mean to say you are angry with her for +refusing you." + +"Not in the least. I have no right to be angry. I am only angry with +myself for being such a fool, Lord de Guest. I wish I had been dead +before I came down here on this errand. Now I think of it, I know there +are so many things which ought to have made me sure how it would be." + +"I don't see that at all. You come down again-let me see-it's May now. +Say you come when the shooting begins in September. If we can't get you +leave of absence in any other way, we'll make old Buffle come too. +Only, by George, I believe he'd shoot us all. But never mind; we'll +manage that. You keep up your spirits till September, and then we'll +fight the battle in another way. The squire shall get up a little party +for the bride, and my lady Lily must go then. You shall meet her so; +and then we'll shoot over the squire's land. We'll bring you together +so; you see if we don't. Lord bless me! Refused once! My belief is, +that in these days a girl thinks nothing of a man till she has refused +him half-a-dozen times." + +"I don't think Lily is at all like that." + +"Look here, Johnny. I have not a word to say against Miss Lily. I like +her very much, and think her one of the nicest girls 1 know. When she's +your wife, I'll love her dearly, if she'll let me. But she's made of +the same stuff as other girls, and will act in the same way. Things +have gone a little astray among you, and they won't right themselves +all in a minute. She knows now what your feelings are, and she'll go on +thinking of it, till at last you'll be in her thoughts more than that +other fellow. Don't tell me about her becoming an old maid, because at +her time of life she has been so unfortunate as to come across a +false-hearted man like that. It may take a little time; but if you'll +carry on and not be down-hearted, you'll find it will all come right in +the end. Everybody doesn't get all that they want in a minute. How I +shall quiz you about all this when you have been two or three years +married!" + +"I don't think I shall ever be able to ask her again; and I feel sure, +if I do, that her answer will be the same. She told me in so many +words; but never mind, I cannot repeat her words." + +"I don't want you to repeat them; nor yet to heed them beyond their +worth. Lily Dale is a very pretty girl; clever, too, I believe, and +good, I'm sure; but her words are not more sacred than those of other +men or women. What she has said to you now, she means, no doubt; but +the minds of men and women are prone to change, especially when such +changes are conducive to their own happiness." + +"At any rate I'll never forget your kindness, Lord de Guest." + +"And there is one other thing I want to say to you, Johnny. A man +should never allow himself to be cast down by anything-not outwardly, +to the eyes of other men." + +"But how is he to help it? + +"His pluck should prevent him. You were not afraid of a roaring bull, +nor yet of that man when you thrashed him at the railway station. +You've pluck enough of that kind. You must now show that you've that +other kind of pluck. You know the story of the boy who would not cry +though the wolf was gnawing him underneath his frock. Most of us have +some wolf to gnaw us somewhere; but we are generally gnawed beneath our +clothes, so that the world doesn't see; and it behoves us so to bear it +that the world shall not suspect. The man who goes about declaring +himself to be miserable will be not only miserable, but contemptible as +well." + +"But the wolf hasn't gnawed me beneath my clothes; everybody knows it." + +"Then let those who do know it learn that you are able to bear such +wounds without outward complaint. I tell you fairly that I cannot +sympathise with a lackadaisical lover." + +"I know that I have made myself ridiculous to everybody. I wish I had +never come here. I wish you had never seen me." + +"Don't say that, my dear boy; but take my advice for what it is worth. +And remember what it is that I say; with your grief I do sympathise, +but not with any outward expression of it-not with melancholy looks, +and a sad voice, and an unhappy gait. A man should always be able to +drink his wine and seem to enjoy it. If he can't, he is so much less of +a man than he would be otherwise-not so much more, as some people seem +to think. Now get yourself dressed, my dear fellow, and come down to +dinner as though nothing had happened to you." + +As soon as the earl was gone John looked at his watch and saw that it +still wanted some forty minutes to dinner. Fifteen minutes would +suffice for him to dress, and therefore there was time sufficient for +him to seat himself in his arm-chair and think over it all. He had for +a moment been very angry when his friend had told him that he could not +sympathise with a lackadaisical lover. It was an ill-natured word. He +felt it to be so when he heard it, and so he continued to think during +the whole of the half-hour that he sat in that chair. But it probably +did him more good than any word that the earl had ever spoken to him-or +any other word that he could have used. "Lackadaisical! I'm not +lackadaisical," he said to himself, jumping up from his chair, and +instantly sitting down again. "I didn't say anything to him. I didn't +tell him. Why did he come to me?" And yet, though he endeavoured to +abuse Lord de Guest in his thoughts, he knew that Lord de Guest was +right, and that he was wrong. He knew that he had been lackadaisical, +and was ashamed of himself; and at once resolved that he would +henceforth demean himself as though no calamity had happened to him. +"I've a good mind to take him at his word, and drink wine till I'm +drunk." Then he strove to get up his courage by a song. + +If she be not fair for me, + +What care I how- + +"But I do care. What stuff it is a man writing poetry and putting into +it such lies as that! Everybody knows that he did care-that is, if he +wasn't a heartless beast." + + +But nevertheless, when the time came for him to go down into the +drawing-room he did make the effort which his friend had counselled, +and walked into the room with less of that hang-dog look than the earl +and Lady Julia had expected. They were both there, as was also the +squire, and Bell followed him in less than a minute. +"You haven't seen Crofts to-day, John, have you?" said the earl. + +"No; I haven't been anywhere his way!" + +"His way! His ways are every way, I take it. I wanted him to come and +dine, but he seemed to think it improper to eat two dinners in the same +house two days running. Isn't that his theory, Miss Dale?" + + "I'm sure I don't know, Lord de Guest. At any rate, it isn't mine." + +So they went to their feast, and before his last chance was over John +Eames found himself able to go through the pretence of enjoying his +roast mutton. + + +There can, I think, be no doubt that in all such calamities as that +which he was now suffering, the agony of the misfortune is much +increased by the conviction that the facts of the case are known to +those round about the sufferer. A most warmhearted and +intensely-feeling young gentleman might, no doubt, eat an excellent +dinner after being refused by the girl of his devotions, provided that +he had reason to believe that none of those in whose company he ate it +knew anything of his rejection. But the same warm-hearted and +intensely-feeling young gentleman would find it very difficult to go +through the ceremony with any appearance of true appetite or +gastronomic enjoyment, if he were aware that all his convives knew all +the facts of his little misfortune. Generally, we may suppose, a man in +such condition goes to his club for his dinner, or seeks consolation in +the shades of some adjacent Richmond or Hampton Court. There he +meditates on his condition in silence, and does ultimately enjoy his +little plate of whitebait, his cutlet and his moderate pint of sherry. +He probably goes alone to the theatre, and, in his stall, speculates +with a somewhat bitter sarcasm on the vanity of the world. Then he +returns home, sad indeed, but with a moderated sadness, and as he puffs +out the smoke of his cigar at the open window-with perhaps the comfort +of a little brandy-and-water at his elbow-swears to himself that, "By +Jove, he'll have another try for it." Alone, a man may console himself, +or among a crowd of unconscious mortals; but it must be admitted that +the position of John Eames was severe. He had been invited down there +to woo Lily Dale, and the squire and Bell had been asked to be present +at the wooing. Had it all gone well, nothing could have been nicer. He +would have been the hero of the hour, and everybody would have sung for +him his song of triumph. But everything had not gone well, and he found +it very difficult to carry himself otherwise than lackadaisically. On +the whole, however, his effort was such that the earl gave him credit +for his demeanour, and told him when parting with him for the night +that he was a fine fellow, and that everything should go right with him +yet. + + +"And you mustn't be angry with me for speaking harshly to you," he said. + +"I wasn't a bit angry." + +"Yes, you were; and I rather meant that you should be. But you mustn't +go away in dudgeon." + +He stayed at the Manor House one day longer, and then he returned to +his room at the Income-tax Office, to the disagreeable sound of Sir +Raffle's little bell, and the much more disagreeable sound of Sir +Raffle's big voice. + +CHAPTER LIX + +JOHN EAMES BECOMES A MAN + +Eames, when he was half way up to London in the railway carriage took +out from his pocket a letter and read it. During the former portion of +his journey he had been thinking of other things; but gradually he had +resolved that it would be better for him not to think more of those +other things for the present, and therefore he had recourse to his +letter by way of dissipating his thoughts. It was from Cradell, and ran +as follows:- + +INCOME-TAX OFFICE, May, 186-. + +MY DEAR JOHN-I hope the tidings which I have to give you will not make +you angry, and that you will not think I am untrue to the great +friendship which I have for you because of that which I am now going to +tell you. There is no man-[and the word man was underscored]-there is +no man whose regard I value so highly as I do yours; and though I feel +that you can have no just ground to be displeased with me after all +that I have beard you say on many occasions, nevertheless, in matters +of the heart it is very hard for one person to understand the +sentiments of another, and when the affections of a lady are concerned, +I know that quarrels will sometimes arise. + +Eames, when he had got so far as this, on the first perusal of the +letter, knew well what was to follow. "Poor Caudle!" he said to +himself; "he's hooked, and he'll never get himself off the hook again." + + +But let that be as it may, the matter has now gone too far for any +alteration to be made by me; nor would any mere earthly inducement +suffice to change me. The claims of friendship are very strong, but +those of love are paramount. Of course I know all that has passed +between you and Amelia Roper. Much of this I had heard from you before, +but the rest she has now told me with that pure-minded honesty which is +the most remarkable feature in her character. She has confessed that at +one time she felt attached to you, and that she was induced by your +perseverance to allow you to regard her as your fiancy. [Fancy-girl he +probably conceived to be the vulgar English for the elegant term which +he used.] But all that must be over between you now. Amelia has +promised to be mine-[this also was underscored]-and mine I intend that +she shall be. That you may find in the kind smiles of L. D. consolation +for any disappointment which this may occasion you, is the ardent wish +of your true friend, + +JOSEPH CRADELL. + +P.S.-Perhaps I had better tell you the whole. Mrs Roper has been in +some trouble about her house. She is a little in arrears with her rent, +and some bills have not been paid. As she explained that she has been +brought into this by those dreadful Lupexes I have consented to take +the house into my own hands, and have given bills to one or two +tradesmen for small amounts. Of course she will take them up, but it +was the credit that was wanting. She will carry on the house, but I +shall, in fact, be the proprietor. I suppose it will not suit you now +to remain here, but don't you think I might make it comfortable enough +for some of our fellows; say half-a-dozen, or so? That is Mrs Roper's +idea, and I certainly think it is not a bad one. Our first efforts must +be to get rid of the Lupexes. Miss Spruce goes next week. In the +meantime we are all taking our meals up in our own rooms, so that there +is nothing for the Lupexes to eat. But they don't seem to mind that, +and still keep the sitting-room and best bedroom. We mean to lock them +out after Tuesday, and send all their boxes to the public-house. + + +Poor Cradell! Eames, as he threw himself back upon his seat and +contemplated the depth of misfortune into which his friend had fallen, +began to be almost in love with his own position. He himself was, no +doubt, a very miserable fellow. There was only one thing in life worth +living for, and that he could not get. He had been. thinking for the +last three days of throwing himself before a locomotive steam-engine, +and was not quite sure that he would not do it yet; hut, nevertheless, +his place was a place among the gods as compared to that which poor +Cradell had selected for himself. To be not only the husband of Amelia +Roper, but to have been driven to take upon himself as his bride's +fortune the whole of his future mother-in-law's debts! To find himself +the owner of a very indifferent lodging-house-the owner as regarded all +responsibility, though not the owner as regarded any possible profit! +And then, above and almost worse than all the rest, to find himself +saddled with the Lupexes in the beginning of his career! Poor Cradell +indeed! + +Eames had not taken his things away from the lodging-house before he +left London, and therefore determined to drive to Burton Crescent +immediately on his arrival, not with the intention of remaining there, +even for a night, hut that he might bid them farewell, speak his +congratulations to Amelia, and arrange for his final settlement with +Mrs Roper. It should have been explained in the last chapter that the +earl had told him before parting with him that his want of success with +Lily would make no difference as regarded money. John had, of course, +expostulated, saying that he did not want anything, and would not, +under his existing circumstances, accept anything; but the earl was a +man who knew how to have his own way, and in this matter did have it. +Our friend, therefore, was a man of wealth when he returned to London, +and could tell Mrs Roper that he would send her a cheque for her little +balance as soon as he reached his office. + +He arrived in the middle of the day-not timing his return at all after +the usual manner of Government clerks, who generally manage to reach +the metropolis not more than half an hour before the moment at which +they are bound to show themselves in their seats. But he had come back +two days before he was due, and had run away from the country as though +London in May to him were much pleasanter than the woods and fields. +But neither had London nor the woods and fields any influence on his +return. He had gone down that he might throw himself at the feet of +Lily Dale-gone down, as he now confessed to himself, with hopes almost +triumphant, and he had returned because Lily Dale would not have him at +her feet. "I loved him-him, Crosbie-better than all the world besides. +It is still the same. I still love him better than all the world." + +Those were the words which had driven him back to London; and having +been sent away with such words as those, it was little matter to him +whether he reached his office a day or two sooner or later. The little +room in the city, even with the accompaniment of Sir Raffle's bell and +Sir Raffle's voice, would be now more congenial to him than Lady +Julia's drawing-room. He would therefore present himself to Sir Raffle +on that very afternoon, and expel some interloper from his seat. But he +would first call in Burton Crescent and say farewell to the Ropers. + +The door was opened for him by the faithful Jemima. "Mr Heames, Mr +Heames! ho dear, ho dear!" and the poor girl, who had always taken his +side in the adventures of the lodging-house, raised her hands on high +and lamented the fate which had separated her favourite from its +fortunes. "I suppose you knows it all, Mister Johnny? "Mister Johnny +said that he believed he did know it all, and asked for the mistress of +the house. "Yes, sure enough, she's at home. She don't dare stir out +much, 'cause of them Lupexes. Ain't this a pretty game? No dinner and +no nothink! Them boxes is Miss Spruce's. She's agoing now, this minute. +You'll find 'em all upstairs in the drawen-room." So upstairs into the +drawing-room he went, and there he found the mother and daughter, and +with them Miss Spruce, tightly packed up in her bonnet and shawl. +"Don't, mother," Amelia was saying; "what's the good of going on in +that way? If she chooses to go, let her go." + +"But she's been with me now so many years," said Mrs Roper, sobbing; +"and I've always done everything for her! Haven't I, now, Sally +Spruce?" It struck Eames immediately that, though he had been an inmate +in the house for two years, he had never before heard that maiden +lady's Christian name. Miss Spruce was the first to see Eames as he +entered the room. It is probable that Mrs Roper's pathos might have +produced some answering pathos on her part had she remained unobserved, +but the sight of a young man brought her back to her usual state of +quiescence. "I'm only an old woman," said she; "and here's Mr Eames +come back again." + +"How d'ye do, Mrs Roper? how d'ye do, Amelia?-how d'ye do, Miss +Spruce?" and he shook hands with them all. + +"Oh, laws," said Mrs Roper, "you have given me such a start!" + +"Dear me, Mr Eames; only think of your coming back in that way," said +Amelia. + + "Well, what way should I come back? You didn't hear me knock at the +door, that's all. So Miss Spruce is really going to leave you? " + +"Isn't it dreadful, Mr Eames? Nineteen years we've been together-taking +both houses together, Miss Spruce, we have, indeed." Miss Spruce, at +this point, struggled very hard to convince John Eames that the period +in question had in truth extended over only eighteen years, but Mrs +Roper was authoritative, and would not permit it. "It's nineteen years +if it's a day. No one ought to know dates if I don't, and there isn't +one in the world understands her ways unless it's me. Haven't I been up +to your bedroom every night, and with my own hand given you-" But she +stopped herself, and was too good a woman to declare before a young man +what had been the nature of her nightly ministrations to her guest. + +"I don't think you'll be so comfortable anywhere else, Miss Spruce," +said Eames. + +"Comfortable! of course she won't," said Amelia. "But if I was mother I +wouldn't have any more words about it." + +"It isn't the money I'm thinking of, but the feeling of it," said Mrs +Roper. "The house will be so lonely like. I shan't know myself; that I +shan't. And now that things are all settled so pleasantly, and that the +Lupexes must go on Tuesday-I'll tell you what, Sally; I'll pay for the +cab myself, and I'll start off to Dulwich by the omnibus tomorrow, and +settle it all out of my own pocket. I will indeed. Come; there's the +cab. Let me go down, and send him away." + +"I'll do that," said Eames. "It's only sixpence, off the stand," Mrs +Roper called to him as he left the room. But the cabman got a shilling, +and John, as he returned, found Jemima in the act of carrying Miss +Spruce's boxes back to her room. "So much the better for poor Caudle," +said he to himself. "As he has gone into the trade it's well that he +should have somebody that will pay him." + +Mrs Roper followed Miss Spruce up the stairs and Johnny was left with +Amelia. "He's written to you, I know," said she, with her face turned a +little away from him. She was certainly very handsome, but there was a +hard, cross, almost sullen look about her, which robbed her countenance +of all its pleasantness. And yet she had no intention of being sullen +with him. + +"Yes," said John. "He has told me how it's all going to be." + +"Well?" she said. + +"Well?" said he. + +"Is that all you've got to say?" + +"I'll congratulate you, if you'll let me." + +"Psha -congratulations! I hate such humbug. If you've no feelings about +it, I'm sure that I've none. Indeed I don't know what's the good of +feelings. They never did me any good. Are you engaged to marry L. D.?" + +"No, I am not." + +"And you've nothing else to say to me?" + +"Nothing-except my hopes for your happiness. What else can I say? You +are engaged to marry my friend Cradell, and I think it will be a happy +match." + +She turned away her face further from him, and the look of it became +even more sullen. Could it be possible that at such a moment she still +had a hope that he might come back to her? + +"Good-bye, Amelia," he said, putting out his hand to her. + +"And this is to be the last of you in this house!" + +"Well, I don't know about that. I'll come and call upon you, if you'll +let me, when you're married." + +"Yes," she said, "that there may be rows in the house, and noise, and +jealousy-as there have been with that wicked woman upstairs. Not if I +know it, you won't! John Eames, I wish I'd never seen you. I wish we +might have both fallen dead when we first met. I didn't think ever to +have cared for a man as I have cared for you. It's all trash and +nonsense and foolery; I know that. It's all very well for young ladies +as can sit in drawing-rooms all their lives, but when a woman has her +way to make in the world it's all foolery. And such a hard way too to +make as mine is!" + +"But it won't be hard now." + +"Won't it? But I think it will. I wish you would try it. Not that I'm +going to complain. I never minded work, and as for company, I can put +up with anybody. The world's not to be all dancing and fiddling for the +likes of me. I know that well enough. But ," and then she paused. + +"What's the 'but' about, Amelia?" + +"It's like you to ask me; isn't it?" To tell the truth he should not +have asked her. "Never mind. I'm not going to have any words with you. +If you've been a knave I've been a fool, and that's worse." + +"But I don't think I have been a knave." + +"I've been both," said the girl; "and both for nothing. After that you +may go. I've told you what I am, and I'll leave you to name yourself. I +didn't think it was in me to have been such a fool. It's that that +frets me. Never mind, sir; it's all over now, and I wish you good-bye." + +I do not think that there was the slightest reason why John should have +again kissed her at parting, but he did so. She bore it, not struggling +with him; but she took his caress with sullen endurance. "It'll be the +last," she said. "Good-bye, John Eames." + +"Good-bye, Amelia. Try to make him a good wife and then you'll be +happy." She turned up her nose at this, assuming a look of unutterable +scorn. But she said nothing further, and then he left the room. At the +parlour door he met Mrs Roper, and had his parting words with her. + +"I am so glad you came," said she. "It was just that word you said that +made Miss Spruce stay. Her money is so ready, you know! And so you've +had it all out with her about Cradell. She'll make him a good wife, she +will indeed-much better than you've been giving her credit for." + +"I don't doubt she'll be a very good wife." + +"You see, Mr Eames, it's all over now, and we understand each other; +don't we? It made me very unhappy when she was setting her cap at you; +it did indeed. She is my own daughter, and I couldn't go against +her-could I? But I knew it wasn't in any way suiting. Laws, I know the +difference. She's good enough for him any day of the week, Mr Eames." + +"That she is-Saturdays or Sundays," said Johnny, not knowing exactly +what he ought to say. + +"So she is; and if he does his duty by her she won't go astray in hers +by him. And as for you, Mr Eames, I am sure I've always felt it an +honour and a pleasure to have you in the house; and if ever you could +use a good word in sending to me any of your young men, I'd do by them +as a mother should; I would indeed. I know I've been to blame about +those Lupexes, but haven't I suffered for it, Mr Eames? And it was +difficult to know at first; wasn't it? And as to you and Amelia, if you +would send any of your young men to try, there couldn't be anything +more of that kind, could there? I know it hasn't all been just as it +should have been-that is as regards you; but I should like to hear you +say that you've found me honest before you went. I have tried to be +honest, I have indeed." + +Eames assured her that he was convinced of her honesty, and that he had +never thought of impugning her character either in regard to those +unfortunate people, the Lupexes, or in reference to other matters. "He +did not think," he said, "that any young men would consult him as to +their lodgings; but if he could be of any service to her, he would." +Then he bade her good-bye, and having bestowed half-a-sovereign on the +faithful Jemima, he took a long farewell of Burton Crescent. Amelia had +told him not to come and see her when she should be married, and he had +resolved that he would take her at her word. So he walked off from the +Crescent, not exactly shaking the dust from his feet, but resolving +that he would know no more either of its dust or of its dirt. Dirt +enough he had encountered there certainly, and he was now old enough to +feel that the inmates of Mrs Roper's house had not been those among +whom a resting-place for his early years should judiciously have been +sought. But he had come out of the fire comparatively unharmed, and I +regret to say that he felt but little for the terrible scorchings to +which his friend had been subjected and was about to subject himself. +He was quite content to look at the matter exactly as it was looked at +by Mrs Roper. Amelia was good enough for Joseph Cradell-any day of the +week. Poor Cradell, of whom in these pages after this notice no more +will be heard! I cannot but think that a hard measure of justice was +meted out to him, in proportion to the extent of his sins. More weak +and foolish than our friend and hero he had been, but not to my +knowledge more wicked. But it is to the vain and foolish that the +punishments fall-and to them they fall so thickly and constantly that +the thinker is driven to think that vanity and folly are of all sins +those which may be the least forgiven. As for Cradell I may declare +that he did marry Amelia, that he did, with some pride, take the place +of master of the house at the bottom of Mrs Roper's table, and that he +did make himself responsible for all Mrs Roper's debts. Of his future +fortunes there is not space to speak in these pages. + +Going away from the Crescent Eames had himself driven to his office, +which he reached just as the men were leaving it, at four o'clock. +Cradell was gone, so that he did not see him on that afternoon; but he +had an opportunity of shaking hands with Mr Love, who treated him with +all the smiling courtesy due to an official bigwig-for a private +secretary, if not absolutely a big-wig, is semi-big, and entitled to a +certain amount of reverence-and he passed Mr Kissing in the passage, +hurrying along as usual with a huge book under his arm. Mr Kissing, +hurried as he was, stopped his shuffling feet; but Eames only looked at +him, hardly honouring him with the acknowledgment of a nod of his head. +Mr Kissing, however, was not offended; he knew that the private +secretary of the First Commissioner had been the guest of an earl; and +what more than a nod could be expected from him? After that John made +his way into the august presence of Sir Raffle, and found that great +man putting on his shoes in the presence of FitzHoward. FitzHoward +blushed; but the shoes had not been touched by him, as he took occasion +afterwards to inform John Eames. + +Sir Raffle was all smiles and civility. "Delighted to see you back, +Eames: am, upon my word; though I and FitzHoward have got on capitally +in your absence; haven't we, FitzHoward?" + +"Oh, yes," drawled FitzHoward. "I haven't minded it for a time, just +while Eames has been away." + +"You're much too idle to keep at it, I know; but your bread will be +buttered for you elsewhere, so it doesn't signify. My compliments to +the duchess when you see her." Then FitzHoward went. "And how's my dear +old friend?" asked Sir Raffle, as though of all men living Lord de +Guest were the one for whom he had the strongest and the oldest love. +And yet he must have known that John Eames knew as much about it as he +did himself. But there are men who have the most lively gratification +in calling lords and marquises their friends, though they know that +nobody believes a word of what they say-even though they know how great +is the odium they incur, and how lasting is the ridicule which their +vanity produces. It is a gentle insanity which prevails in the outer +courts of every aristocracy; and as it brings with itself considerable +annoyance and but a lukewarm pleasure, it should not be treated with +too keen a severity. +"And how's my dear old friend?" Eames assured him that his dear old +friend was all right, that Lady Julia was all right, that the dear old +place was all right. Sir Raffle now spoke as though the "dear old +place" were quite well known to him. "Was the game doing pretty well? +Was there a promise of birds? "Sir Raffle's anxiety was quite intense, +and expressed with almost familiar affection. "And, by the-by, Eames, +where are you living at present?" + +"Well, I'm not settled. I'm at the Great Western Railway Hotel at this +moment." + +"Capital house, very; only it's expensive if you stay there the whole +season." Johnny had no idea of remaining there beyond one night, but he +said nothing as to this. "By-the-by, you might as well come and dine +with us tomorrow. Lady Buffle is most anxious to know you. There'll be +one or two with us. I did ask my friend Dumbello, but there's some +nonsense going on in the House, and he thinks that he can't get away." +Johnny was more gracious than Lord Dumbello, and accepted the +invitation. "I wonder what Lady Buffle will be like? "he said to +himself, as he walked away from the office. + +He had turned into the Great Western Hotel, not as yet knowing where to +look for a home; and there we will leave him, eating his solitary +mutton-chop at one of those tables which are so comfortable to the eye, +but which are so comfortless in reality. I speak not now with reference +to the excellent establishment which has been named, but to the nature +of such tables in general. A solitary mutton-chop in an hotel +coffee-room is not a banquet to be envied by any god; and if the +mutton-chop be converted into soup, fish, little dishes, big dishes, +and the rest, the matter becomes worse and not better. What comfort are +you to have, seated alone on that horsehair chair, staring into the +room and watching the waiters as they whisk about their towels? No one +but an Englishman has ever yet thought of subjecting himself to such a +position as that! But here we will leave John Eames, and in doing so I +must be allowed to declare that only now, at this moment, has he +entered on his manhood. Hitherto he has been a hobbledehoy-a calf, as +it were, who had carried his calfishness later into life than is common +with calves; but who did not, perhaps, on that account, give promise of +making a worse ox than the rest of them. His life hitherto, as recorded +in these pages, had afforded him no brilliant success, had hardly +qualified him for the role of hero which he has been made to play. I +feel that I have been in fault in giving such prominence to a +hobbledehoy, and that I should have told my story better had I brought +Mr Crosbie more conspicuously forward on my canvas. He at any rate has +gotten to himself a wife-as a hero always should do; whereas I must +leave my poor friend Johnny without any matrimonial prospects. + +It was thus that he thought of himself as he sat moping over his +solitary table in the hotel coffee-room. He acknowledged to himself +that he had not hitherto been a man; but at the same time he made some +resolution which, I trust, may assist him in commencing his manhood +from this date. + +CHAPTER LX + +CONCLUSION + +It was early in June that Lily went up to her uncle at the Great House, +pleading for Hopkins-pleading that to Hopkins might be restored all the +privileges of head gardener at the Great House. There was some +absurdity in this, seeing that he had never really relinquished his +privileges; but the manner of the quarrel had been in this wise. + +There was in those days, and had been for years, a vexed question +between Hopkins and Jolliffe the bailiff on the matter of stable +manure. Hopkins had pretended to the right of taking what he required +from the farmyard, without asking leave of any one. Jolliffe in return +had hinted, that if this were so, Hopkins would take it all. "But I +can't eat it," Hopkins had said. Jolliffe merely grunted, signifying by +the grunt, as Hopkins thought, that though a gardener couldn't eat a +mountain of manure fifty feet long and fifteen high-couldn't eat in the +body-he might convert it into things edible for his own personal use. +And so there had been a great feud. The unfortunate squire had of +course been called on to arbitrate, and having postponed his decision +by every contrivance possible to him, had at last been driven by +Jolliffe to declare that Hopkins should take nothing that was not +assigned to him. Hopkins, when the decision was made known to him by +his master, bit his old lips, and turned round upon his old heel, +speechless. + +"You'll find it's so at all other places," said the squire, +apologetically. "Other places!" sneered Hopkins. Where would he find +other gardeners like himself? It is hardly necessary to declare that +from that moment he resolved that he would abide by no such order. +Jolliffe on the next morning informed the squire that the order had +been broken, and the squire fretted and fumed, wishing that Jolliffe +were well buried under the mountain in question. "If they all is to do +as they like," said Jolliffe, "then nobody won't care for nobody." The +squire understood than an order if given must be obeyed, and therefore, +with many inner groanings of the spirit, resolved that war must be +waged against Hopkins. + +On the following morning he found the old man himself wheeling a huge +barrow of manure round from the yard into the kitchen-garden. Now, on +ordinary occasions, Hopkins was not required to do with his own hands +work of that description. He had a man under him who hewed wood, and +carried water, and wheeled barrows-one man always, and often two. The +squire knew when he saw him that he was sinning, and bade him stop upon +his road. + +"Hopkins," he said, "why didn't you ask for what you wanted, before you +took it?" The old man put down the barrow on the ground, looked up in +his master's face, spat into his hands, and then again resumed his +barrow. "Hopkins, that won't do," said the squire. "Stop where you +are." + +"What won't do?" said Hopkins, still holding the barrow from the +ground, but not as yet progressing. + +"Put it down, Hopkins," and Hopkins did put it down. Don't you know +that you are flatly disobeying my orders?" + +"Squire, I've been here about this place going on nigh seventy years." + +"If you've been going on a hundred and seventy it wouldn't do that +there should be more than one master. I'm the master here, and I intend +to be so to the end. Take that manure back into the yard." + +"Back into the yard?" said Hopkins, very slowly. + +"Yes; back into the yard." + +"What-afore all their faces?" + +"Yes; you've disobeyed me before all their faces?" + +Hopkins paused a moment, looking away from the squire, and shaking his +head as though he had need of deep thought, but by the aid of deep +thought had come at last to a right conclusion. Then he resumed the +barrow, and putting himself almost into a trot, carried away his prize +into the kitchen-garden. At the pace which he went it would have been +beyond the squire's power to stop him, nor would Mr Dale have wished to +come to a personal encounter with his servant. But he called after the +man in dire wrath that if he were not obeyed the disobedient servant +should rue the consequences for ever. Hopkins, equal to the occasion, +shook his head as he trotted on, deposited his load at the foot of the +cucumber-frames, and then at once returning to his master, tendered to +him the key of the greenhouse. + +"Master," said Hopkins, speaking as best he could with his scanty +breath, "there it is-there's the key; of course I don't want no +warning, and doesn't care about my week's wages. I'll be out of the +cottage afore night, and as for the work'us, I suppose they'll let me +in at once, if your honour'll give 'em a line." + +Now as Hopkins was well known by the squire to be the owner of three or +four hundred pounds, the hint about the workhouse must be allowed to +have been melodramatic. + +"Don't be a fool," said the squire, almost gnashing his teeth. "I know +I've been a fool," said Hopkins, "about that 'ere doong; my feelings +has been too much for me. When a man's feelings has been too much for +him, he'd better just take hisself off, and lie in the work'us till he +dies." And then he again tendered the key. But the squire did not take +the key, and so Hopkins went on. "I s'pose I'd better just see to the +lights and the like of that, till you've suited yourself, Mr Dale. It +'ud be a pity all them grapes should go off, and they, as you may say, +all one as fit for the table. It's a long way the best crop I ever see +on 'em. I've been that careful with 'em that I haven't had a natural +night's rest, not since February. There ain't nobody about this place +as understands grapes, nor yet anywhere nigh that could be got at. My +lord's head man is wery ignorant; but even if he knew ever so, of +course he couldn't come here. I suppose I'd better keep the key till +you're suited, Mr Dale." + +Then for a fortnight there was an interregnum in the gardens, terrible +in the annals of Allington. Hopkins lived in his cottage indeed, and +looked most sedulously after the grapes. In looking after the grapes, +too, he took the greenhouses under his care; but he would have nothing +to do with the outer gardens, took no wages, returning the amount sent +to him back to the squire, and insisted with everybody that he had been +dismissed. He went about with some terrible horticultural implement +always in his hand, with which it was said that he intended to attack +Jolliffe; but Jolliffe prudently kept out of his way. + +As soon as it had been resolved by Mrs Dale and Lily that the flitting +from the Small House at Allington was not to be accomplished, Lily +communicated the fact to Hopkins. + +"Miss," said he, "when I said them few words to you and your mamma, I +knew that you would listen to reason." + +This was no more than Lily had expected; that Hopkins should claim the +honour of having prevailed by his arguments was a matter of course. + +"Yes," said Lily; "we've made up our minds to stay. Uncle wishes it." + +"Wishes it! Laws, miss; it ain't only wishes. And we all wishes it. +Why, now, look at the reason of the thing. Here's this here house-" + +"But, Hopkins, it's decided. We're going to stay. What I want to know +is this; can you come at once and help me to unpack? + +"What! this very evening, as is-" + +"Yes, now; we want to have the things about again before they come back +from Guestwick." + +Hopkins scratched his head and hesitated, not wishing to yield to any +proposition that could be considered as childish; but he gave way at +last, feeling that the work itself was a good work. Mrs Dale also +assented, laughing at Lily for her folly as she did so, and in this way +the things were unpacked very quickly, and the alliance between Lily +and Hopkins became, for the time, very close. This work of unpacking +and resettling was not yet over, when the battle of the manure broke +out, and therefore it was that Hopkins, when his feelings had become +altogether too much for him "about the doong," came at last to Lily, +and laying down at her feet all the weight and all the glory of his +sixty odd years of life, implored her to make matters straight for him. +"It's been a killing me, miss, so it has; to see the way they've been a +cutting that 'sparagus. It ain't cutting at all. It's just hocking it +up-what is fit, and what isn't, all together. And they've been +a-putting the plants in where I didn't mean 'em, though they know'd I +didn't mean 'em. I've stood by, miss, and said never a word. I'd a died +sooner. But, Miss Lily, what my sufferings have been, 'cause of my +feelings getting the better of me about that-you know, miss-nobody will +ever tell -nobody-nobody-nobody." Then Hopkins turned away and wept. + +"Uncle," said Lily, creeping close up against his chair, "I want to ask +you a great favour." + +"A great favour. Well, I don't think I shall refuse you anything at +present. It isn't to ask another earl to the house-is it?" + +"Another earl!" said Lily. + +"Yes; haven't you heard? Miss Bell has been here this morning, +insisting that I should have over Lord de Guest and his sister for the +marriage. It seems that there was some scheming between Bell and Lady +Julia." + +"Of course you'll ask them." + +"Of course I must. I've no way out of it. It'll be all very well for +Bell, who'll be off to Wales with her lover; but what am I to do with +the earl and Lady Julia, when they're gone? Will you come and help me?" + +In answer to this, Lily of course promised that she would come and +help. "Indeed," said she, "I thought we were all asked up for the day. +And now for my favour. Uncle, you must forgive poor Hopkins." + +"Forgive a fiddlestick!" said the squire. + +"No, but you must. You can't think how unhappy he is." + +"How can I forgive a man who won't forgive me. He goes prowling about +the place doing nothing; and he sends me back his wages, and he looks +as though he were going to murder some one; and all because he wouldn't +do as he was told. How am I to forgive such a man as that?" + +"But, uncle, why not?" + +"It would be his forgiving me. He knows very well that he may come back +whenever he pleases; and, indeed, for the matter of that he has never +gone away." + +"But he is so very unhappy." + +"What can I do to make him happier?" + +"Just go down to his cottage and tell him that you forgive him." + +"Then he'll argue with me." + +"No; I don't think he will. He is too much down in the world for +arguing now." + +"Ah! you don't know him as I do. All the misfortunes in the world +wouldn't stop that man's conceit. Of course I'll go if you ask me, but +it seems to me that I'm made to knock under to everybody. I hear a +great deal about other people's feelings, but I don't know that mine +are very much thought of." He was not altogether in a happy mood, and +Lily almost regretted that she had persevered; but she did succeed in +carrying him off across the garden to the cottage, and as they went +together she promised him that she would think of him always-always. +The scene with Hopkins cannot be described now, as it would take too +many of our few remaining pages. It resulted, I am afraid I must +confess, in nothing more triumphant to the squire than a treaty of +mutual forgiveness. Hopkins acknowledged, with much self-reproach, that +his feelings had been too many for him; but then, look at his +provocation! He could not keep his tongue from that matter, and +certainly said as much in his own defence as he did in confession of +his sins. The substantial triumph was altogether his, for nobody again +ever dared to interfere with his operations in the farmyard. He showed +his submission to his master mainly by consenting to receive his wages +for the two weeks which he had passed in idleness. + +Owing to this little accident, Lily was not so much oppressed by +Hopkins as she had expected to be in that matter of their altered +plans; but this salvation did not extend to Mrs Hearn, to Mrs Crump, +or, above all, to Mrs Boyce. They, all of them, took an interest more +or less strong in the Hopkins controversy; but their interest in the +occupation of the Small House was much stronger, and it was found +useless to put Mrs Hearn off with the gardener's persistent refusal of +his wages, when she was big with inquiry whether the house was to be +painted inside, as well as out. "Ah," said she, "I think I'll go and +look at lodgings at Guestwick myself, and pack up some of my beds." +Lily made no answer to this, feeling that it was a part of that +punishment which she had expected. "Dear, dear," said Mrs Crump to the +two girls; "well, to be sure, we should a been lone without 'ee, and +mayhap we might a got worse in your place; but why did 'ee go and +fasten up all your things in them big boxes, just to unfasten 'em all +again?" + +"We changed our minds, Mrs Crump," said Bell, with some severity. + +"Yees, I know ye changed your mindses. Well, it's all right for loiks +o' ye, no doubt; but if we changes our mindses, we hears of it." + +"So, it seems, do we! "said Lily. "But never mind, Mrs Crump. Do you +send us our letters up early, and then we won't quarrel." + +"Oh, letters! Drat them for letters. I wish there weren't no sich +things. There was a man here yesterday with his imperence. I don't know +where he come from-down from Lun'on, I b'leeve: and this was wrong, and +that was wrong, and everything was wrong; and then he said he'd have me +discharged the sarvice." + +"Dear me, Mrs Crump; that wouldn't do at all." + + +"Discharged the sarvice! Tuppence farden a day. So I told 'un to +discharge hisself, and take all the old bundles and things away upon +his shoulders. Letters indeed! What business have they with +post-missusses, if they cannot pay 'em better nor tuppence farden a +day?" And in this way, under the shelter of Mrs Crump's storm of wrath +against the inspector who had visited her, Lily and Bell escaped much +that would have fallen upon their own heads; but Mrs Boyce still +remained. I may here add, in order that Mrs Crump's history may be +carried on to the farthest possible point, that she was not "discharged +the sarvice," and that she still receives her twopence farthing a day +from the Crown. "That's a bitter old lady," said the inspector to the +man who was driving him. + +"Yes, sir; they all says the same about she. There ain't none of 'em +get much change out of Mrs Crump." + +Bell and Lily went together also to Mrs Boyce's. "If she makes herself +very disagreeable, I shall insist upon talking of your marriage," said +Lily. + +"I've not the slightest objection," said Bell; "only I don't know what +there can be to say about it. Marrying the doctor is such a very +commonplace sort of thing." + +"Not a bit more commonplace than marrying the parson," said Lily. + +"Oh, yes, it is. Parsons' marriages are often very grand affairs. They +come in among county people. That's their luck in life. Doctors never +do; nor lawyers. I don't think lawyers ever get married in the country. +They're supposed to do it up in London. But a country doctor's wedding +is not a thing to be talked about much." + +Mrs Boyce probably agreed in this view of the matter, seeing that she +did not choose the coming marriage as her first subject of +conversation. As soon as the two girls were seated she flew away +immediately to the house, and began to express her very great +surprise-her surprise and her joy also-at the sudden change which had +been made in their plans. "It is so much nicer, you know," said she, +"that things should be pleasant among relatives." + +"Things always have been tolerably pleasant with us," said Bell. + +"Oh, yes; I'm sure of that. I've always said it was quite a pleasure to +see you and your uncle together. And when we heard about your all +having to leave-" + +"But we didn't have to leave, Mrs Boyce. We were going to leave because +we thought mamma would be more comfortable in Guestwick; and now we're +not going to leave, because we've all 'changed our mindses,' as Mrs +Crump calls it." + +"And is it true the house is going to be painted?" asked Mrs Boyce. + +"I believe it is true," said Lily. + +"Inside and out?" + +"It must be done some day," said Bell. + +"Yes, to be sure; but I must say it is generous of the squire. There's +such a deal of wood-work about your house. I know I wish the +Ecclesiastical Commissioners would paint ours; but nobody ever does +anything for the clergy. I'm sure I'm delighted you're going to stay. +As I said to Mr Boyce, what should we ever have done without you? I +believe the squire had made up his mind that he would not let the +place." + +"I don't think he ever has let it." + +"And if there was nobody in it, it would all go to rack and ruin; +wouldn't it? Had your mamma to pay anything for the lodgings she +engaged at Guestwick? + +"Upon my word, I don't know. Bell can tell you better about that than +I, as Dr Crofts settled it. I suppose Dr Crofts tells her everything." +And so the conversation was changed, and Mrs Boyce was made to +understand that whatever further mystery there might be, it would not +be unravelled on that occasion. + +It was settled that Dr Crofts and Bell should be married about the +middle of June, and the squire determined to give what grace he could +to the ceremony by opening his own house on the occasion. Lord de Guest +and Lady Julia were invited by special arrangement between her ladyship +and Bell, as has been before explained. The colonel also with Lady +Fanny came up from Torquay on the occasion, this being the first visit +made by the colonel to his paternal roof for many years. Bernard did +not accompany his father. He had not yet gone abroad, but there were +circumstances which made him feel that he would not find himself +comfortable at the wedding. The service was performed by Mr Boyce, +assisted, as the County Chronicle very fully remarked, by the Reverend +John Joseph Jones, M.A., late of Jesus College, Cambridge, and curate +of St. Peter's, Northgate, Guestwick; the fault of which little +advertisement was this-that as none of the readers of the paper had +patience to get beyond the Reverend John Joseph Jones, the fact of +Bell's marriage with Dr Crofts was not disseminated as widely as might +have been wished. + +The marriage went off very nicely. The squire was upon his very best +behaviour, and welcomed his guests as though he really enjoyed their +presence there in his halls. Hopkins, who was quite aware that he had +been triumphant, decorated the old rooms with mingled flowers and +greenery with an assiduous care which pleased the two girls mightily. +And during this work of wreathing and decking there was one little +morsel of feeling displayed which may as well be told in these last +lines. Lily had been encouraging the old man while Bell for a moment +had been absent. + +"I wish it had been for thee, my darling!" he said; "I wish it had been +for thee! + +"It is much better as it is, Hopkins," she answered, solemnly. + +"Not with him, though," he went on, "not with him. I wouldn't a hung a +bough for him. But with t'other one." + +Lily said no word further. She knew that the man was expressing the +wishes of all around her. She said no word further, and then Bell +returned to them. + +But no one at the wedding was so gay as Lily-so gay, so bright, and so +wedding-like. She flirted with the old earl till he declared that he +would marry her himself. No one seeing her that evening, and knowing +nothing of her immediate history, would have imagined that she herself +had been cruelly jilted some six or eight months ago. And those who did +know her could not imagine that what she then suffered had hit her so +hard, that no recovery seemed possible for her. But though no recovery, +as she herself believed, was possible for her-though she was as a man +whose right arm had been taken from him in the battle, still all the +world had not gone with that right arm. The bullet which had maimed her +sorely had not touched her life, and she scorned to go about the world +complaining either by word or look of the injury she had received. +"Wives when they have lost their husbands still eat and laugh," she +said to herself, "and he is not dead like that." So she resolved that +she would be happy, and I here declare that she not only seemed to +carry out her resolution, but that she did carry it out in very truth. +"You're a dear good man, and I know you'll be good to her," she said to +Crofts just as he was about to start with his bride. + +"I'll try, at any rate," he answered. + +"And I shall expect you to be good to me too. Remember you have married +the whole family; and, sir, you mustn't believe a word of what that bad +man says in his novels about mothers-in-law. He has done a great deal +of harm, and shut half the ladies in England out of their daughters' +houses." + +"He shan't shut Mrs Dale out of mine." + +"Remember he doesn't. Now, good-bye." So the bride and bridegroom went +off, and Lily was left to flirt with Lord de Guest. + +Of whom else is it necessary that a word or two should be said before I +allow the weary pen to fall from my hand? The squire, after much inward +struggling on the subject, had acknowledged to himself that his +sister-in-law had not received from him that kindness which she had +deserved. He had acknowledged this, purporting to do his best to amend +his past errors; and I think I may say that his efforts in that line +would not be received ungraciously by Mrs Dale. I am inclined, +therefore, to think that life at Allington, both at the Great House and +at the Small, would soon become pleasanter than it used to be in former +days. Lily soon got the Balmoral boots, or, at least, soon learned that +the power of getting them as she pleased had devolved upon her from her +uncle's gift; so that she talked even of buying the squirrel's cage; +but I am not aware that her extravagance led her as far as that. + +Lord de Courcy we left suffering dreadfully from gout and ill-temper at +Courcy Castle. Yes, indeed! To him in his latter days life did not seem +to offer much that was comfortable. His wife had now gone from him, and +declared positively to her son-in-law that no earthly consideration +should ever induce her to go back again-"not if I were to starve!" she +said. By which she intended to signify that she would be firm in her +resolve, even though she should thereby lose her carriage and horses. +Poor Mr Gazebee went down to Courcy, and had a dreadful interview with +the earl; but matters were at last arranged, and her ladyship remained +at Baden-Baden in a state of semi-starvation. That is to say, she had +but one horse to her carriage. + +As regards Crosbie, I am inclined to believe that he did again recover +his power at his office. He was Mr Butterwell's master, and the master +also of Mr Optimist, and the major. He knew his business, and could do +it, which was more, perhaps, than might fairly be said of any of the +other three. Under such circumstances he was sure to get in his hand, +and lead again. But elsewhere his star did not recover its ascendancy. +He dined at his club almost daily, and there were those with whom he +habitually formed some little circle. But he was not the Crosbie of +former days-the Crosbie known in Belgravia and in St. James's Street. +He had taken his little vessel bravely out into the deep waters, and +had sailed her well while fortune stuck close to him. But he had +forgotten his nautical rules, and success had made him idle. His +plummet and lead had not been used, and he had kept no look-out ahead. +Therefore the first rock he met shivered his bark to pieces. His wife, +the Lady Alexandrina, is to be seen in the one-horse carriage with her +mother at Baden-Baden. + + +THE END + +The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Small House at Allington +by Anthony Trollope +******This file should be named tsllh10.txt or tsllh10.zip****** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, tsllh11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, tsllh10a.txt + +This etext was produced by Andrew Turek. + +*** + +More information about this book is at the top of this file. + + +We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance +of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing. +Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections, +even years after the official publication date. + +Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til +midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. +The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at +Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Small House at Allington + +Author: Anthony Trollope + +Release Date: October, 2003 [EBook #4599] +[This file was last updated on November 17, 2002] + +Edition: 11 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SMALL HOUSE AT ALLINGTON *** + + + + +This etext was produced by Andrew Turek. + + + + +THE SMALL HOUSE AT ALLINGTON + +BY ANTHONY TROLLOPE + + + +CHAPTER I + +THE SQUIRE OF ALLINGTON + +Of course there was a Great House at Allington. How otherwise should +there have been a Small House? Our story will, as its name imports, +have its closest relations with those who lived in the less dignified +domicile of the two; but it will have close relations also with the +more dignified, and it may be well that I should, in the first +instance, say a few words as to the Great House and its owner. + +The squires of Allington had been squires of Allington since squires, +such as squires are now, were first known in England. From father to +son, and from uncle to nephew, and, in one instance, from second cousin +to second cousin, the sceptre had descended in the family of the Dales; +and the acres had remained intact, growing in value and not decreasing +in number, though guarded by no entail and protected by no wonderful +amount of prudence or wisdom. The estate of Dale of Allington had been +coterminous with the parish of Allington for some hundreds of years; +and though, as I have said, the race of squires had possessed nothing +of superhuman discretion, and had perhaps been guided in their walks +through life by no very distinct principles, still there had been with +them so much of adherence to a sacred law, that no acre of the property +had ever been parted from the hands of the existing squire. Some futile +attempts had been made to increase the territory, as indeed had been +done by Kit Dale, the father of Christopher Dale, who will appear as +our squire of Allington when the persons of our drama are introduced. +Old Kit Dale, who had married money, had bought outlying farms--a bit of +ground here and a bit there--talking, as he did so, much of political +influence and of the good old Tory cause. But these farms and bits of +ground had gone again before our time. To them had been attached no +religion. When old Kit had found himself pressed in that matter of the +majority of the Nineteenth Dragoons, in which crack regiment his second +son made for himself quite a career, he found it easier to sell than to +save--seeing that that which he sold was his own and not the patrimony +of the Dales. At his death the remainder of these purchases had gone. +Family arrangements required completion, and Christopher Dale required +ready money. The outlying farms flew away, as such new purchases had +flown before; but the old patrimony of the Dales remained untouched, as +it had ever remained. + +It had been a religion among them; and seeing that the worship had been +carried on without fail, that the vestal fire had never gone down upon +the hearth, I should not have said that the Dales had walked their ways +without high principle. For this religion they had all adhered, and the +new heir had ever entered in upon his domain without other encumbrances +than those with which he himself was then already burdened. And yet +there had been no entail. The idea of an entail was not in accordance +with the peculiarities of the Dale mind. It was necessary to the Dale +religion that each squire should have the power of wasting the acres of +Allington--and that he should abstain from wasting them. I remember to +have dined at a house, the whole glory and fortune of which depended on +the safety of a glass goblet. We all know the story. If the luck of +Edenhall should be shattered, the doom of the family would be sealed. +Nevertheless I was bidden to drink out of the fatal glass, as were all +guests in that house. It would not have contented the chivalrous mind +of the master to protect his doom by lock and key and padded chest. And +so it was with the Dales of Allington. To them an entail would have +been a lock and key and a padded chest; but the old chivalry of their +house denied to them the use of such protection. + +I have spoken something slightingly of the acquirements and doings of +the family; and indeed their acquirements had been few and their doings +little. At Allington, Dale of Allington had always been known as a +king. At Guestwick, the neighbouring market town, he was a great man--to +be seen frequently on Saturdays, standing in the market-place, and +laying down the law as to barley and oxen among men who knew usually +more about barley and oxen than did he. At Hamersham, the assize town, +he was generally in some repute, being a constant grand juror for the +county, and a man who paid his way. But even at Hamersham the glory of +the Dales had, at most periods, begun to pale, for they had seldom been +widely conspicuous in the county, and had earned no great reputation by +their knowledge of jurisprudence in the grand jury room. Beyond +Hamersham their fame had not spread itself. + +They had been men generally built in the same mould, inheriting each +from his father the same virtues and the same vices--men who would have +lived, each, as his father had lived before him, had not the new ways +of the world gradually drawn away with them, by an invisible magnetism, +the upcoming Dale of the day--not indeed in any case so moving him as to +bring him up to the spirit of the age in which he lived, but dragging +him forward to a line in advance of that on which his father had +trodden. They had been obstinate men; believing much in themselves; +just according to their ideas of justice; hard to their tenants--but not +known to be hard even by the tenants themselves, for the rules followed +had ever been the rules on the Allington estate; imperious to their +wives and children, but imperious within bounds, so that no Mrs Dale +had fled from her lord's roof, and no loud scandals had existed between +father and sons; exacting in their ideas as to money, expecting that +they were to receive much and to give little, and yet not thought to be +mean, for they paid their way, and gave money in parish charity and in +county charity. + +They had ever been steady supporters of the Church, graciously +receiving into their parish such new vicars as, from time to time, were +sent to them from King's College, Cambridge, to which establishment the +gift of the living belonged--but, nevertheless, the Dales had ever +carried on some unpronounced warfare against the clergyman, so that the +intercourse between the lay family and the clerical had seldom been in +all respects pleasant. + +Such had been the Dales of Allington, time out of mind, and such in all +respects would have been the Christopher Dale of our time, had he not +suffered two accidents in his youth. He had fallen in love with a +lady--who obstinately refused his hand, and on her account he had +remained single; that was his first accident. The second had fallen +upon him with reference to his father's assumed wealth. He had supposed +himself to be richer than other Dales of Allington when coming in upon +his property, and had consequently entertained an idea of sitting in +Parliament for his county. In order that he might attain this honour he +had allowed himself to be talked by the men of Hamersham and Guestwick +out of his old family politics, and had declared himself a Liberal. He +had never gone to the poll, and, indeed, had never actually stood for +the seat. But he had come forward as a liberal politician, and had +failed; and, although it was well known to all around that Christopher +Dale was in heart as thoroughly conservative as any of his forefathers, +this accident had made him sour and silent on the subject of politics, +and had somewhat estranged him from his brother squires. + +In other respects our Christopher Dale was, if anything, superior to +the average of the family. Those whom he did love he loved dearly. +Those whom he hated he did not ill-use beyond the limits of justice. He +was close in small matters of money, and yet in certain family +arrangements he was, as we shall see, capable of much liberality. He +endeavoured to do his duty in accordance with his lights, and had +succeeded in weaning himself from personal indulgences, to which during +the early days of his high hopes he had become accustomed. And in that +matter of his unrequited love he had been true throughout. In his hard, +dry, unpleasant way he had loved the woman; and when at least he +learned to know that she would not have his love, he had been unable to +transfer his heart to another. This had happened just at the period of +his father's death, and he had endeavoured to console himself with +politics, with what fate we have already seen. A constant, upright, and +by no means insincere man was our Christopher Dale--thin and meagre in +his mental attributes, by no means even understanding the fullness of a +full man, with power of eye-sight very limited in seeing aught which +was above him, but yet worthy of regard in that he had realised a path +of duty and did endeavour to walk therein. And, moreover, our Mr +Christopher Dale was a gentleman. + +Such in character was the squire of Allington, the only regular +inhabitant of the Great House. In person, he was a plain, dry man, with +short grizzled hair and thick grizzled eyebrows. Of beard, he had very +little, carrying the smallest possible grey whiskers, which hardly fell +below the points of his ears. His eyes were sharp and expressive, and +his nose was straight and well formed--as was also his chin. But the +nobility of his face was destroyed by a mean mouth with thin lips; and +his forehead, which was high and narrow, though it forbad you to take +Mr Dale for a fool, forbad you also to take him for a man of great +parts, or of a wide capacity. In height, he was about five feet ten; +and at the time of our story was as near to seventy as he was to sixty. +But years had treated him very lightly, and he bore few signs of age. +Such in person was Christopher Dale, Esq, the squire of Allington, and +owner of some three thousand a year, all of which proceeded from the +lands of that parish. + +And now I will speak of the Great House of Allington. After all, it was +not very great; nor was it surrounded by much of that exquisite +nobility of park appurtenance which graces the habitations of most of +our old landed proprietors. But the house itself was very graceful. It +had been built in the days of the early Stuarts, in that style of +architecture to which we give the name of the Tudors. On its front it +showed three pointed roofs, or gables, as I believe they should be +called; and between each gable a thin tall chimney stood, the two +chimneys thus raising themselves just above the three peaks I have +mentioned. I think that the beauty of the house depended much on those +two chimneys; on them, and on the mullioned windows with which the +front of the house was closely filled. The door, with its jutting +porch, was by no means in the centre of the house. As you entered, +there was but one window on your right hand, while on your left there +were three. And over these there was a line of five windows, one taking +its place above the porch. We all know the beautiful old Tudor window, +with its stout stone mullions and its stone transoms, crossing from +side to side at a point much nearer to the top than to the bottom. Of +all windows ever invented it is the sweetest. And here, at Allington, I +think their beauty was enhanced by the fact that they were not regular +in their shape. Some of these windows were long windows, while some of +them were high. That to the right of the door, and that at the other +extremity of the house, were among the former. But the others had been +put in without regard to uniformity, a long window here, and a high +window there, with a general effect which could hardly have been +improved. Then above, in the three gables, were three other smaller +apertures. But these also were mullioned, and the entire frontage of +the house was uniform in its style. + +Round the house there were trim gardens, not very large, but worthy of +much note in that they were so trim--gardens with broad gravel paths, +with one walk running in front of the house so broad as to be fitly +called a terrace. But this, though in front of the house, was +sufficiently removed from it to allow of a coach-road running inside it +to the front door. The Dales of Allington had always been gardeners, +and their garden was perhaps more noted in the county than any other of +their properties. But outside the gardens no pretensions had been made +to the grandeur of a domain. The pastures round the house were but +pretty fields, in which timber was abundant. There was no deer-park at +Allington; and though the Allington woods were well known, they formed +no portion of a whole of which the house was a part. They lay away, out +of sight, a full mile from the back of the house; but not on that +account of less avail for the fitting preservation of foxes. + +And the house stood much too near the road for purposes of grandeur, +had such purposes ever swelled the breast of any of the squires of +Allington. But I fancy that our ideas of rural grandeur have altered +since many of our older country seats were built. To be near the +village, so as in some way to afford comfort, protection, and +patronage, and perhaps also with some view to the pleasantness of +neighbourhood for its own inmates, seemed to be the object of a +gentleman when building his house in the old days. A solitude in the +centre of a wide park is now the only site that can be recognised as +eligible. No cottage must be seen, unless the cottage _orne_ of the +gardener. The village, if it cannot be abolished, must be got out of +sight. The sound of the church bells is not desirable, and the road on +which the profane vulgar travel by their own right must be at a +distance. When some old Dale of Allington built his house, he thought +differently. There stood the church and there the village, and, pleased +with such vicinity, he sat himself down close to his God and to his +tenants. + +As you pass along the road from Guestwick into the village you see the +church near to you on your left hand; but the house is hidden from the +road. As you approach the church, reaching the gate of it which is not +above two hundred yards from the high road, you see the full front of +the Great House. Perhaps the best view of it is from the churchyard. +The lane leading up to the church ends in a gate, which is the entrance +into Mr Dale's place. There is no lodge there, and the gate generally +stands open--indeed, always does so, unless some need of cattle grazing +within requires that it should be closed. But there is an inner gate, +leading from the home paddock through the gardens to the house, and +another inner gate, some thirty yards farther on, which will take you +into the farmyard. Perhaps it is a defect at Allington that the +farmyard is very close to the house. But the stables, and the +straw-yards, and the unwashed carts, and the lazy lingering cattle of +the homestead, are screened off by a row of chestnuts, which, when in +its glory of flower, in the early days of May, no other row in England +can surpass in beauty. Had any one told Dale of Allington--this Dale or +any former Dale--that his place wanted wood, he would have pointed with +mingled pride and disdain to his belt of chestnuts. + +Of the church itself I will say the fewest possible number of words. It +was a church such as there are, I think, thousands in England--low, +incommodious, kept with difficulty in repair, too often pervious to the +wet, and yet strangely picturesque, and correct too, according to great +rules of architecture. It was built with a nave and aisles, visibly in +the form of a cross, though with its arms clipped down to the trunk, +with a separate chancel, with a large square short tower, and with a +bell-shaped spire, covered with lead and irregular in its proportions. +Who does not know the low porch, the perpendicular Gothic window, the +flat-roofed aisles, and the noble old grey tower of such a church as +this? As regards its interior, it was dusty; it was blocked up with +high-backed ugly pews; the gallery in which the children sat at the end +of the church, and in which two ancient musicians blew their bassoons, +was all awry, and looked as though it would fall; the pulpit was an +ugly useless edifice, as high nearly as the roof would allow, and the +reading-desk under it hardly permitted the parson to keep his head free +from the dangling tassels of the cushion above him. A clerk also was +there beneath him, holding a third position somewhat elevated; and upon +the whole thing there were not quite as I would have had them. But, +nevertheless, the place looked like a church, and I can hardly say so +much for all the modern edifices which have been built in my days +towards the glory of God. It looked like a church, and not the less so +because in walking up the passage between the pews the visitor trod +upon the brass plates which dignified the resting-places of the +departed Dales of old. + +Below the church, and between that and the village, stood the vicarage, +in such position that the small garden of the vicarage stretched from +the churchyard down to the backs of the village cottages. This was a +pleasant residence, newly built within the last thirty years, and +creditable to the ideas of comfort entertained by the rich collegiate +body from which the vicars of Allington always came. Doubtless we shall +in the course of our sojourn at Allington visit the vicarage now and +then, but I do not know that any farther detailed account of its +comforts will be necessary to us. + +Passing by the lane leading to the vicarage, the church, and to the +house, the high road descends rapidly to a little brook which runs +through the village. On the right as you descend you will have seen the +"Red Lion," and will have seen no other house conspicuous in any way. +At the bottom, close to the brook, is the post-office, kept surely by +the crossest old woman in all those parts. Here the road passes through +the water, the accommodation of a narrow wooden bridge having been +afforded for those on foot. But before passing the stream, you will see +a cross street, running to the left, as had run that other lane leading +to the house. Here, as this cross street rises the hill, are the best +houses in the village. The baker lives here, and that respectable +woman, Mrs Frummage, who sells ribbons, and toys, and soap, and straw +bonnets, with many other things too long to mention. Here, too, lives +an apothecary, whom the veneration of this and neighbouring parishes +has raised to the dignity of a doctor. And here also, in the smallest +but prettiest cottage that can be imagined, lives Mrs Hearn, the widow +of a former vicar, on terms, however, with her neighbour the squire +which I regret to say are not as friendly as they should be. Beyond +this lady's modest residence, Allington Street, for so the road is +called, turns suddenly round towards the church, and at the point of +the turn is a pretty low iron railing with a gate, and with a covered +way, which leads up to the front door of the house which stands there, +I will only say here, at this fag end of a chapter, that it is the +Small House at Allington. Allington Street, as I have said, turns short +round towards the church at this point, and there ends at a white gate, +leading into the churchyard by a second entrance. + +So much it was needful that I should say of Allington Great House, of +the Squire, and of the village. Of the Small House, I will speak +separately in a further chapter. + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE TWO PEARLS OF ALLINGTON + +"But Mr Crosbie is only a mere clerk." This sarcastic condemnation was +spoken by Miss Lilian Dale to her sister Isabella, and referred to a +gentleman with whom we shall have much concern in these pages. I do not +say that Mr Crosbie will be our hero, seeing that that part in the +drama will be cut up, as it were, into fragments. Whatever of the +magnificent may be produced will be diluted and apportioned out in very +moderate quantities among two or more, probably among three or four, +young gentlemen--to none of whom will be vouchsafed the privilege of +much heroic action. + +"I don't know what you call a mere clerk, Lily. Mr Fanfaron is a mere +barrister, and Mr Boyce is a mere clergyman." Mr Boyce was the vicar of +Allington, and Mr Fanfaron was a lawyer who had made his way over to +Allington during the last assizes. "You might as well say that Lord de +Guest is a mere earl." + +"So he is--only a mere earl. Had he ever done anything except have fat +oxen, one wouldn't say so. You know what I mean by a mere clerk? It +isn't much in a man to be in a public office, and yet Mr Crosbie gives +himself airs." + +"You don't suppose that Mr Crosbie is the same as John Eames," said +Bell, who, by her tone of voice, did not seem inclined to undervalue +the qualifications of Mr Crosbie. Now John Eames was a young man from +Guestwick, who had been appointed to a clerkship in the Income-tax +Office, with eighty pounds a year, two years ago. + +"Then Johnny Eames is a mere clerk," said Lily; "and Mr Crosbie +is--After all, Bell, what is Mr Crosbie, if he is not a mere clerk? Of +course, he is older than John Eames; and, as he has been longer at it, +I suppose he has more than eighty pounds a year." + +"I am not in Mr Crosbie's confidence. He is in the General Committee +Office, I know; and, I believe, has pretty nearly the management of the +whole of it. I have heard Bernard say that he has six or seven young +men under him, and that--but, of course, I don't know what he does at +his office." + +"I'll tell you what he is, Bell; Mr Crosbie is a swell." And Lilian +Dale was right; Mr Crosbie was a swell. + +And here I may perhaps best explain who Bernard was, and who was Mr +Crosbie. Captain Bernard Dale was an officer in the corps of Engineers, +was the first cousin of the two girls who have been speaking, and was +nephew and heir presumptive to the squire. His father, Colonel Dale, +and his mother, Lady Fanny Dale, were still living at Torquay--an +effete, invalid, listless couple, pretty well dead to all the world +beyond the region of the Torquay card-tables. He it was who had made +for himself quite a career in the Nineteenth Dragoons. This he did by +eloping with the penniless daughter of that impoverished earl, the Lord +de Guest. After the conclusion of that event circumstances had not +afforded him the opportunity of making himself conspicuous; and he had +gone on declining gradually in the world's esteem--for the world had +esteemed him when he first made good his running with the Lady +Fanny--till now, in his slippered years, he and his Lady Fanny were +unknown except among those Torquay Bath chairs and card-tables. His +elder brother was still a hearty man, walking in thick shoes, and +constant in his saddle; but the colonel, with nothing beyond his wife's +title to keep his body awake, had fallen asleep somewhat prematurely +among his slippers. Of him and of Lady Fanny, Bernard Dale was the only +son. Daughters they had had; some were dead, some married, and one +living with them among the card-tables. Of his parents Bernard had +latterly not seen much; not more, that is, than duty and a due +attention to the fifth commandment required of him. He also was making +a career for himself, having obtained a commission in the Engineers, +and being known to all his compeers as the nephew of an earl, and as +the heir to a property of three thousand a year. And when I say that +Bernard Dale was not inclined to throw away any of these advantages, I +by no means intend to speak in his dispraise. The advantage of being +heir to a good property is so manifest--the advantages over and beyond +those which are merely fiscal--that no man thinks of throwing them away, +or expects another man to do so. Moneys in possession or in expectation +do give a set to the head, and a confidence to the voice, and an +assurance to the man, which will help him much in his walk in life--if +the owner of them will simply use them, and not abuse them. And for +Bernard Dale I will say that he did not often talk of his uncle the +earl. He was conscious that his uncle was an earl, and that other men +knew the fact. He knew that he would not otherwise have been elected at +the Beaufort, or at that most aristocratic of little clubs called +Sebright's. When noble blood was called in question he never alluded +specially to his own, but he knew how to speak as one of whom all the +world was aware on which side he had been placed by the circumstances +of his birth. Thus he used his advantage, and did not abuse it. And in +his profession he had been equally fortunate. By industry, by a small +but wakeful intelligence, and by some aid from patronage, he had got on +till he had almost achieved the reputation of talent. His name had +become known among scientific experimentalists, not as that of one who +had himself invented a cannon or an antidote to a cannon, but as of a +man understanding in cannons and well fitted to look at those invented +by others; who would honestly test this or that antidote; or, if not +honestly, seeing that such thin-minded men can hardly go to the proof +of any matter without some pre-judgment in their minds, at any rate +with such appearance of honesty that the world might be satisfied. And +in this way Captain Dale was employed much at home, about London; and +was not called on to build barracks in Nova Scotia, or to make roads in +the Punjaub. + +He was a small slight man, smaller than his uncle, but in face very +like him. He had the same eyes, and nose, and chin, and the same mouth; +but his forehead was better--less high and pointed, and better formed +about the brows. And then he wore moustaches, which somewhat hid the +thinness of his mouth. + +On the whole, he was not ill-looking; and, as I have said before, he +carried with him an air of self-assurance and a confident balance, +which in itself gives a grace to a young man. + +He was staying at the present time in his uncle's house, during the +delicious warmth of the summer--for, as yet, the month of July was not +all past; and his intimate friend, Adolphus Crosbie, who was or was not +a mere clerk as my readers may choose to form their own opinions on +that matter, was a guest in the house with him. I am inclined to say +that Adolphus Crosbie was not a mere clerk; and I do not think that he +would have been so called, even by Lily Dale, had he not given signs to +her that he was a "swell." Now a man in becoming a swell--a swell of +such an order as could possibly be known to Lily Dale--must have ceased +to be a mere clerk in that very process. And, moreover, Captain Dale +would not have been Damon to any Pythias, of whom it might fairly be +said that he was a mere clerk. Nor could any mere clerk have got +himself in either at the Beaufort or at Sebright's. The evidence +against that former assertion made by Lily Dale is very strong; but +then the evidence as to her latter assertion is as strong, Mr Crosbie +certainly was a swell. It is true that he was a clerk in the General +Committee Office. But then, in the first place, the General Committee +Office is situated in Whitehall; whereas poor John Eames was forced to +travel daily from his lodgings in Burton Crescent, ever so far beyond +Russell Square, to his dingy room in Somerset House. And Adolphus +Crosbie, when very young, had been a private secretary, and had +afterwards mounted up in his office to some quasi authority and +senior-clerkship, bringing him in seven hundred a year, and giving him +a status among assistant secretaries and the like, which even in an +official point of view was something. But the triumphs of Adolphus +Crosbie had been other than these. Not because he had been intimate +with assistant secretaries, and was allowed in Whitehall a room to +himself with an arm-chair, would he have been entitled to stand upon +the rug at Sebright's and speak while rich men listened--rich men, and +men also who had handles to their names! Adolphus Crosbie had done more +than make minutes with discretion on the papers of the General +Committee Office. He had set himself down before the gates of the city +of fashion, and had taken them by storm; or, perhaps, to speak with +more propriety, he had picked the locks and let himself in. In his +walks of life he was somebody in London. A man at the West End who did +not know who was Adolphus Crosbie knew nothing. I do not say that he +was the intimate friend of many great men; but even great men +acknowledged the acquaintance of Adolphus Crosbie, and he was to be +seen in the drawing-rooms, or at any rate on the staircases, of Cabinet +Ministers. + +Lilian Dale, dear Lily Dale--for my reader must know that she is to be +very dear, and that my story will be nothing to him if he do not love +Lily Dale--Lilian Dale had discovered that Mr Crosbie was a swell. But I +am bound to say that Mr Crosbie did not habitually proclaim the fact in +any offensive manner; nor in becoming a swell had he become altogether +a bad fellow. It was not to be expected that a man who was petted at +Sebright's should carry himself in the Allington drawing-room as would +Johnny Eames, who had never been petted by any one but his mother. And +this fraction of a hero of ours had other advantages to back him, over +and beyond those which fashion had given him. He was a tall, +well-looking man, with pleasant eyes and an expressive mouth--a man whom +you would probably observe in whatever room you might meet him. And he +knew how to talk, and had in him something which justified talking. He +was no butterfly or dandy, who flew about in the world's sun, warmed +into prettiness by a sunbeam. Crosbie had his opinion on things--on +politics, on religion, on the philanthropic tendencies of the age, and +had read something here and there as he formed his opinion. Perhaps he +might have done better in the world had he not been placed so early in +life in that Whitehall public office. There was that in him which might +have earned better bread for him in an open profession. + +But in that matter of his bread the fate of Adolphus Crosbie had by +this time been decided for him, and he had reconciled himself to fate +that was now inexorable. Some very slight patrimony, a hundred a year +or so, had fallen to his share. Beyond that he had his salary from his +office, and nothing else; and on his income, thus made up, he had lived +as a bachelor in London, enjoying all that London could give him as a +man in moderately easy circumstances, and looking forward to no costly +luxuries--such as a wife, a house of his own, or a stable full of +horses. Those which he did enjoy of the good things of the world would, +if known to John Eames, have made him appear fabulously rich in the +eyes of that brother clerk. His lodgings in Mount Street were elegant +in their belongings. During three months of the season in London he +called himself the master of a very neat hack. He was always well +dressed, though never over-dressed. At his clubs he could live on equal +terms with men having ten times his income. He was not married. He had +acknowledged to himself that he could not marry without money; and he +would not marry for money. He had put aside from him, as not within his +reach, the comforts of marriage. But--We will not, however, at the +present moment inquire more curiously into the private life and +circumstances of our new friend Adolphus Crosbie. + +After the sentence pronounced against him by Lilian, the two girls +remained silent for awhile. Bell was, perhaps, a little angry with her +sister. It was not often that she allowed herself to say much in praise +of any gentleman; and, now that she had spoken a word or two in favour +of Mr Crosbie, she felt herself to be rebuked by her sister for this +unwonted enthusiasm. Lily was at work on a drawing, and in a minute or +two had forgotten all about Mr Crosbie; but the injury remained on +Bell's mind and prompted her to go back to the subject." I don't like +those slang words, Lily." + +"What slang words?" + +"You know what you called Bernard's friend." + +"Oh; a swell. I fancy I do like slang. I think it's awfully jolly to +talk about things being jolly. Only that I was afraid of your nerves I +should have called him stunning. It's so slow, you know, to use nothing +but words out of a dictionary." + +"I don't think it's nice in talking of gentlemen." + +"Isn't it? Well, I'd like to be nice--if I knew how." If she knew how! +There is no knowing how, for a girl, in that matter. If nature and her +mother have not done it for her, there is no hope for her on that head. +I think I may say that nature and her mother had been sufficiently +efficacious for Lilian Dale in this respect. + +"Mr Crosbie is, at any rate, a gentleman, and knows how to make himself +pleasant. That was all that I meant. Mamma said a great deal more about +him than I did." + +"Mr Crosbie is an Apollo; and I always look upon Apollo as the +greatest--you know what--that ever lived. I mustn't say the word, because +Apollo was a gentleman." At this moment, while the name of the god was +still on her lips, the high open window of the drawing-room was +darkened, and Bernard entered, followed by Mr Crosbie. + +"Who is talking about Apollo?" said Captain Dale. + +The girls were both stricken dumb. How would it be with them if Mr +Crosbie had heard himself spoken of in those last words of poor Lily's? +This was the rashness of which Bell was ever accusing her sister, and +here was the result! But, in truth, Bernard had heard nothing more than +the name, and Mr Crosbie, who had been behind him, had heard nothing. + +"As sweet and musical as bright Apollo's lute, strung with his hair," +said Mr Crosbie, not meaning much by the quotation, but perceiving that +the two girls had been in some way put out and silenced. + +"What very bad music it must have made," said Lily; "unless, indeed, +his hair was very different from ours." + +"It was all sunbeams," suggested Bernard. But by that time Apollo had +served his turn, and the ladies welcomed their guests in the proper +form. + +"Mamma is in the garden," said Bell, with that hypocritical pretence so +common with young ladies when young gentlemen call; as though they were +aware that mamma was the object specially sought. + +"Picking peas, with a sun bonnet on," said Lily. + +"Let us by all means go and help her," said Mr Crosbie; and then they +issued out into the garden. + +The gardens of the Great House of Allington and those of the Small +House open on to each other. A proper boundary of thick laurel hedge, +and wide ditch, and of iron spikes guarding the ditch, there is between +them; but over the wide ditch there is a foot-bridge, and at the bridge +there is a gate which has no key; and for all purposes of enjoyment the +gardens of each house are open to the other. And the gardens of the +Small House are very pretty. The Small House itself is so near the road +that there is nothing between the dining-room windows and the iron rail +but a narrow edge rather than border, and a little path made with round +fixed cobble stones, not above two feet broad, into which no one but +the gardener ever makes his way. The distance from the road to the +house is not above five or six feet, and the entrance from the gate is +shut in by a covered way. But the garden behind the house, on to which +the windows from the drawing-room open, is to all the senses as private +as though there were no village of Allington, and no road up to the +church within a hundred yards of the lawn. The steeple of the church, +indeed, can be seen from the lawn, peering, as it were, between the +yew-trees which stand in the corner of the churchyard adjoining to Mrs +Dale's wall. But none of the Dale family have any objection to the +sight of that steeple. The glory of the Small House at Allington +certainly consists in its lawn, which is as smooth, as level, and as +much like velvet as grass has ever yet been made to look. Lily Dale, +taking pride in her own lawn, has declared often that it is no good +attempting to play croquet up at the Great House. The grass, she says, +grows in tufts, and nothing that Hopkins, the gardener, can or will do +has any effect upon the tufts. But there are no tufts at the Small +House. As the squire himself has never been very enthusiastic about +croquet, the croquet implements have been moved permanently down to the +Small House, and croquet there has become quite an institution. + +And while I am on the subject of the garden I may also mention Mrs +Dale's conservatory, as to which Bell was strenuously of opinion that +the Great House had nothing to offer equal to it--"For flowers, of +course, I mean," she would say, correcting herself; for at the Great +House there was a grapery very celebrated. On this matter the squire +would be less tolerant than as regarded the croquet, and would tell his +niece that she knew nothing about flowers. "Perhaps not, Uncle +Christopher," she would say. "All the same, I like our geraniums best"; +for there was a spice of obstinacy about Miss Dale--as, indeed, there +was in all the Dales, male and female, young and old. + +It may be as well to explain that the care of this lawn and of this +conservatory, and, indeed, of the entire garden belonging to the Small +House, was in the hands of Hopkins, the head gardener at the Great +House; and it was so simply for this reason, that Mrs Dale could not +afford to keep a gardener herself. A working lad, at ten shillings a +week, who cleaned the knives and shoes, and dug the ground, was the +only male attendant on the three ladies. But Hopkins, the head gardener +of Allington, who had men under him, was as widely awake to the lawn +and the conservatory of the humbler establishment as he was to the +grapery, peach-walls, and terraces of the grander one. In his eyes it +was all one place. The Small House belonged to his master, as indeed +did the very furniture within it; and it was lent, not let, to Mrs +Dale. Hopkins, perhaps, did not love Mrs Dale, seeing that he owed her +no duty as one born a Dale. The two young ladies he did love, and also +snubbed in a very peremptory way sometimes. To Mrs Dale he was coldly +civil, always referring to the squire if any direction worthy of +special notice as concerning the garden was given to him. + +All this will serve to explain the terms on which Mrs Dale was living +at the Small House--a matter needful of explanation sooner or later. Her +husband had been the youngest of three brothers, and in many respects +the brightest. Early in life he had gone up to London, and there had +done well as a land surveyor. He had done so well that Government had +employed him, and for some three or four years he had enjoyed a large +income, but death had come suddenly on him, while he was only yet +ascending the ladder; and, when he died, he had hardly begun to realise +the golden prospects which he had seen before him. This had happened +some fifteen years before our story commenced, so that the two girls +hardly retained any memory of their father. For the first five years of +her widowhood, Mrs Dale, who had never been a favourite of the +squire's, lived with her two little girls in such modest way as her +very limited means allowed. Old Mrs Dale, the squire's mother, then +occupied the Small House. But when old Mrs Dale died, the squire +offered the place rent-free to his sister-in-law, intimating to her +that her daughters would obtain considerable social advantages by +living at Allington. She had accepted the offer, and the social +advantages had certainly followed. Mrs Dale was poor, her whole income +not exceeding three hundred a year, and therefore her own style of +living was of necessity very unassuming; but she saw her girls becoming +popular in the county, much liked by the families around them, and +enjoying nearly all the advantages which would have accrued to them had +they been the daughters of Squire Dale of Allington. Under such +circumstances it was little to her whether or no she were loved by her +brother-in-law, or respected by Hopkins. Her own girls loved her, and +respected her, and that was pretty much all that she demanded of the +world on her own behalf. + +And Uncle Christopher had been very good to the girls in his own +obstinate and somewhat ungracious manner. There were two ponies in the +stables of the Great House, which they were allowed to ride, and which, +unless on occasions, nobody else did ride. I think he might have given +the ponies to the girls, but he thought differently. And he contributed +to their dresses, sending them home now and again things which he +thought necessary, not in the pleasantest way in the world. Money he +never gave them, nor did he make them any promises. But they were +Dales, and he loved them; and with Christopher Dale to love once was to +love always. Bell was his chief favourite, sharing with his nephew +Bernard the best warmth of his heart. About these two he had his +projects, intending that Bell should be the future mistress of the +Great House of Allington; as to which project, however, Miss Dale was +as yet in very absolute ignorance. + +We may now, I think, go back to our four friends, as they walked out +upon the lawn. They were understood to be on a mission to assist Mrs +Dale in the picking of the peas; but pleasure intervened in the way of +business, and the young people, forgetting the labours of their elder, +allowed themselves to be carried away by the fascinations of croquet. +The iron hoops and the sticks were fixed. The mallets and the balls +were lying about; and then the party was so nicely made up! "I haven't +had a game of croquet yet," said Mr Crosbie. It cannot be said that he +had lost much time, seeing that he had only arrived before dinner on +the preceding day. And then the mallets were in their hands in a moment. + +"We'll play sides, of course," said Lily. "Bernard and I'll play +together." But this was not allowed. Lily was well known to be the +queen of the croquet ground; and as Bernard was supposed to be more +efficient than his friend, Lily had to take Mr Crosbie as her partner. +"Apollo can't get through the hoops," Lily said afterwards to her +sister; "but then how gracefully he fails to do it!" Lily, however, had +been beaten, and may therefore be excused for a little spite against +her partner. But it so turned out that before Mr Crosbie took his final +departure from Allington he could get through the hoops; and Lily, +though she was still queen of the croquet ground, had to acknowledge a +male sovereign in that dominion. + +"That's not the way we played at--" said Crosbie, at one point of the +game, and then stopped himself. + +"Where was that?" said Bernard. + +"A place I was at last summer--in Shropshire," + +"Then they don't play the game, Mr Crosbie, at the place you were at +last summer--in Shropshire," said Lily. + +"You mean Lady Hartletop's," said Bernard. Now, the Marchioness of +Hartletop was a very great person indeed, and a leader in the +fashionable world. + +"Oh! Lady Hartletop's!" said Lily. "Then I suppose we must give in;" +which little bit of sarcasm was not lost upon Mr Crosbie, and was put +down by him in the tablets of his mind as quite undeserved. He had +endeavoured to avoid any mention of Lady Hartletop and her croquet +ground, and her ladyship's name had been forced upon him. Nevertheless, +he liked Lily Dale through it all. But he thought that he liked Bell +the best, though she said little; for Bell was the beauty of the family. + +During the game Bernard remembered that they had especially come over +to bid the three ladies to dinner at the house on that day. They had +all dined there on the day before, and the girls' uncle had now sent +directions to them to come again." I'll go and ask mamma about it," +said Bell, who was out first. And then she returned, saying, that she +and her sister would obey their uncle's behest; but that her mother +would prefer to remain at home. "There are the peas to be eaten, you +know," said Lily. + +"Send them up to the Great House," said Bernard. + +"Hopkins would not allow it," said Lily. "He calls that a mixing of +things. Hopkins doesn't like mixings." And then when the game was over, +they sauntered about, out of the small garden into the larger one, and +through the shrubberies, and out upon the fields, where they found the +still lingering remnants of the haymaking. And Lily took a rake, and +raked for two minutes; and Mr Crosbie, making an attempt to pitch the +hay into the cart, had to pay half-a-crown for his footing to the +hay-makers; and Bell sat quiet under a tree, mindful of her complexion; +whereupon Mr Crosbie, finding the hay-pitching not much to his taste, +threw himself under the same tree also, quite after the manner of +Apollo, as Lily said to her mother late in the evening. Then Bernard +covered Lily with hay, which was a great feat in the jocose way for +him; and Lily in returning the compliment, almost smothered Mr +Crosbie--by accident. + +"Oh, Lily," said Bell. + +"I'm sure I beg your pardon, Mr Crosbie. It was Bernard's fault. +Bernard, I never will come into a hayfield with you again." And so they +all became very intimate; while Bell sat quietly under the tree, +listening to a word or two now and then as Mr Crosbie chose to speak +them. There is a kind of enjoyment to be had in society, in which very +few words are necessary. Bell was less vivacious than her sister Lily; +and when, an hour after this, she was dressing herself for dinner, she +acknowledged that she had passed a pleasant afternoon, though Mr +Crosbie had not said very much. + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE WIDOW DALE OF ALLINGTON + +As Mrs Dale, of the Small House, was not a Dale by birth, there can be +no necessity for insisting on the fact that none of the Dale +peculiarities should be sought for in her character. These +peculiarities were not, perhaps, very conspicuous in her daughters, who +had taken more in that respect from their mother than from their +father; but a close observer might recognise the girls as Dales. They +were constant, perhaps obstinate, occasionally a little uncharitable in +their judgment, and prone to think that there was a great deal in being +a Dale, though not prone to say much about it. But they had also a +better pride than this, which had come to them as their mother's +heritage. + +Mrs Dale was certainly a proud woman--not that there was anything +appertaining to herself in which she took a pride. In birth she had +been much lower than her husband, seeing that her grandfather had been +almost nobody. Her fortune had been considerable for her rank in life, +and on its proceeds she now mainly depended; but it had not been +sufficient to give any of the pride of wealth. And she had been a +beauty; according to my taste, was still very lovely; but certainly at +this time of life, she, a widow of fifteen years' standing, with two +grown-up daughters, took no pride in her beauty. Nor had she any +conscious pride in the fact that she was a lady. That she was a lady, +inwards and outwards, from the crown of her head to the sole of her +feet, in head, in heart, and in mind, a lady by education and a lady by +nature, a lady also by birth in spite of that deficiency respecting her +grandfather, I hereby state as a fact--mea periculo. And the squire, +though he had no special love for her, had recognised this, and in all +respects treated her as his equal. + +But her position was one which required that she should either be very +proud or else very humble. She was poor, and yet her daughters moved in +a position which belongs, as a rule, to the daughters of rich men only. +This they did as nieces of the childless squire of Allington, and as +his nieces she felt that they were entitled to accept his countenance +and kindness, without loss of self-respect either to her or to them. +She would have ill done her duty as a mother to them had she allowed +any pride of her own to come between them and such advantage in the +world as their uncle might be able to give them. On their behalf she +had accepted the loan of the house in which she lived, and the use of +many of the appurtenances belonging to her brother-in-law; but on her +own account she had accepted nothing. Her marriage with Philip Dale had +been disliked by his brother the squire, and the squire, while Philip +was still living, had continued to show that his feelings in this +respect were not to be overcome. They never had been overcome; and now, +though the brother-in-law and sister-in-law had been close neighbours +for years, living as one may say almost in the same family, they had +never become friends. There had not been a word of quarrel between +them. They met constantly. The squire had unconsciously come to +entertain a profound respect for his brother's widow. The widow had +acknowledged to herself the truth of the affection shown by the uncle +to her daughters. But yet they had never come together as friends. Of +her own money matters Mrs Dale had never spoken a word to the squire. +Of his intention respecting the girls the squire had never spoken a +word to the mother. And in this way they had lived and were living at +Allington. + +The life which Mrs Dale led was not altogether an easy life--was not +devoid of much painful effort on her part. The theory of her life one +may say was this--that she should bury herself in order that her +daughters might live well above ground. And in order to carry out this +theory, it was necessary that she should abstain from all complaint or +show of uneasiness before her girls. Their life above ground would not +be well if they understood that their mother, in this underground life +of hers, was enduring any sacrifice on their behalf. It was needful +that they should think that the picking of peas in a sun bonnet, or +long readings by her own fire-side, and solitary hours spent in +thinking, were specially to her mind. "Mamma doesn't like going out." + +"I don't think mamma is happy anywhere out of her own drawing-room." I +do not say that the girls were taught to say such words, but they were +taught to have thoughts which led to such words, and in the early days +of their going out into the world used so to speak of their mother. But +a time came to them before long--to one first and then to the other, in +which they knew that it was not so, and knew also all that their mother +had suffered for their sakes. + +And in truth Mrs Dale could have been as young in heart as they were. +She, too, could have played croquet, and have coquetted with a +haymaker's rake, and have delighted in her pony, ay, and have listened +to little nothings from this and that Apollo, had she thought that +things had been conformable thereto. Women at forty do not become +ancient misanthropes, or stern Rhadamanthine moralists, indifferent to +the world's pleasures--no, not even though they be widows. There are +those who think that such should be the phase of their minds. I profess +that I do not so think. I would have women, and men also, young as long +as they can be young. It is not that a woman should call herself in +years younger than her father's family Bible will have her to be. Let +her who is forty call herself forty; but if she can be young in spirit +at forty, let her show that she is so. + +I think that Mrs Dale was wrong. She would have joined that party on +the croquet ground, instead of remaining among the pea-sticks in her +sun bonnet, had she done as I would have counselled her. Not a word was +spoken among the four that she did not hear. Those pea-sticks were only +removed from the lawn by a low wall and a few shrubs. She listened, not +as one suspecting, but simply as one loving. The voices of her girls +were very dear to her, and the silver ringing tones of Lily's tongue +were as sweet to her ears as the music of the gods. She heard all that +about Lady Hartletop, and shuddered at Lily's bold sarcasm. And she +heard Lily say that mamma would stay at home and eat the peas, and said +to herself sadly that that was now her lot in life. + +"Dear darling girl--and so it should be!" It was thus her thoughts ran. +And then, when her ear had traced them, as they passed across the +little bridge into the other grounds, she returned across the lawn to +the house with her burden on her arm, and sat herself down on the step +of the drawing-room window, looking out on the sweet summer flowers and +the smooth surface of the grass before her. + +Had not God done well for her to place her where she was? Had not her +lines been set for her in pleasant places? Was she not happy in her +girls--her sweet, loving, trusting, trusty children? As it was to be +that her lord, that best half of herself, was to be taken from her in +early life, and that the springs of all the lighter pleasures were to +be thus stopped for her, had it not been well that in her bereavement +so much had been done to soften her lot in life and give it grace and +beauty? Twas so, she argued with herself, and yet she acknowledged to +herself that she was not happy. She had resolved, as she herself had +said often, to put away childish things, and now she pined for those +things which she so put from her. As she sat she could still hear +Lily's voice as they went through the shrubbery--hear it when none but a +mother's ears would have distinguished the sound. Now that those young +men were at the Great House it was natural that her girls should be +there too. The squire would not have had young men to stay with him had +there been no ladies to grace his table. But for her--she knew that no +one would want her there. Now and again she must go, as otherwise her +very existence, without going, would be a thing disagreeably +noticeable. But there was no other reason why she should join the +party; nor in joining it would she either give or receive pleasure. Let +her daughters eat from her brother's table and drink of his cup. They +were made welcome to do so from the heart. For her there was no such +welcome as that at the Great House--nor at any other house, or any other +table! + +"Mamma will stay at home to eat the peas." And then she repeated to +herself the words which Lily had spoken, sitting there, leaning with +her elbow on her knee, and her head upon her hand. + +"Please, ma'am, cook says, can we have the peas to shell?" and then her +reverie was broken. + +Whereupon Mrs Dale got up and gave over her basket. "Cook knows that +the young ladies are going to dine at the Great House?" + +"Yes, ma'am." + +"She needn't mind getting dinner for me. I will have tea early." And +so, after all, Mrs Dale did not perform that special duty appointed for +her. + +But she soon set herself to work upon another duty. When a family of +three persons has to live upon an income of three hundred a year, and, +nevertheless, makes some pretence of going into society, it has to be +very mindful of small details, even though that family may consist only +of ladies. Of this Mrs Dale was well aware, and as it pleased her that +her daughters should be nice and fresh, and pretty in their attire, +many a long hour was given up to that care. The squire would send them +shawls in winter, and had given them riding habits, and had sent them +down brown silk dresses from London--so limited in quantity that the due +manufacture of two dresses out of the material had been found to be +beyond the art of woman, and the brown silk garments had been a +difficulty from that day to this--the squire having a good memory in +such matters, and being anxious to see the fruits of his liberality. +All this was doubtless of assistance, but had the squire given the +amount which he so expended in money to his nieces, the benefit would +have been greater. As it was, the girls were always nice and fresh and +pretty, they themselves not being idle in that matter; but their +tire-woman in chief was their mother. And now she went up to their room +and got out their muslin frocks, and--but, perhaps, I should not tell +such tales!--She, however, felt no shame in her work, as she sent for a +hot iron, and with her own hands smoothed out the creases, and gave the +proper set to the crimp flounces, and fixed a new ribbon where it was +wanted, and saw that all was as it should be. Men think but little how +much of this kind is endured that their eyes may be pleased, even +though it be but for an hour. + +"Oh! mamma, how good you are," said Bell, as the two girls came in, +only just in time to make themselves ready for returning to dinner. + +"Mamma is always good," said Lily. "I wish, mamma, I could do the same +for you oftener," and then she kissed her mother. But the squire was +exact about dinner, so they dressed themselves in haste, and went off +again through the garden, their mother accompanying them to the little +bridge. + +"Your uncle did not seem vexed at my not coming?" said Mrs Dale. + +"We have not seen him, mamma," said Lily. "We have been ever so far +down the fields, and forgot altogether what o'clock it was." + +"I don't think Uncle Christopher was about the place, or we should have +met him," said Bell. + +"But I am vexed with you, mamma. Are not you, Bell? It is very bad of +you to stay here all alone, and not come." + +"I suppose mamma likes being at home better than up at the Great +House," said Bell, very gently; and as she spoke she was holding her +mother's hand. + +"Well; good-bye, dears. I shall expect you between ten and eleven. But +don't hurry yourselves if anything is going on." And so they went, and +the widow was again alone. The path from the bridge ran straight up +towards the back of the Great House, so that for a moment or two she +could see them as they tripped on almost in a run. And then she saw +their dresses flutter as they turned sharp round, up the terrace steps, +She would not go beyond the nook among the laurels by which she was +surrounded, lest any one should see her as she looked after her girls. +But when the last flutter of the pink muslin had been whisked away from +her sight, she felt it hard that she might not follow them. She stood +there, however, without advancing a step. She would not have Hopkins +telling how she watched her daughters as they went from her own home to +that of her brother-in-law. It was not within the capacity of Hopkins +to understand why she watched them. + +"Well, girls, you're not much too soon. I think your mother might have +come with you," said Uncle Christopher. And this was the manner of the +man. Had he known his own wishes he must have acknowledged to himself +that he was better pleased that Mrs Dale should stay away. He felt +himself more absolutely master and more comfortably at home at his own +table without her company than with it. And yet he frequently made a +grievance of her not corning, and himself believed in that grievance. + +"I think mamma was tired," said Bell. + +"Hem. It's not so very far across from one house to the other. If I +were to shut myself up whenever I'm tired--. But never mind. Let's go to +dinner. Mr Crosbie, will you take my niece Lilian." And then, offering +his own arm to Bell, he walked off to the dining-room. + +"If he scolds mamma any more, I'll go away," said Lily to her +companion; by which it may be seen that they had all become very +intimate during the long day that they had passed together. + +Mrs Dale, after remaining for a moment on the bridge, went in to her +tea. What succedaneum of mutton chop or broiled ham she had for the +roast duck and green peas which were to have beers provided for the +family dinner we will not particularly inquire. We may, however, +imagine that she did not devote herself to her evening repast with any +peculiar energy of appetite. She took a book with her as she sat +herself down--some novel, probably, for Mrs Dale was not above +novels--and read a page or two as she sipped her tea. But the book was +soon laid on one side, and the tray on which the warm plate had become +cold was neglected, and she threw herself back in her own familiar +chair, thinking of herself, and of her girls, and thinking also what +might have been her lot in life had he lived who had loved her truly +during the few years that they had been together. + +It is especially the nature of a Dale to be constant in his likings and +his dislikings. Her husband's affection for her had been unswerving--so +much so that he had quarrelled with his brother because his brother +would not express himself in brotherly terms about his wife; but, +nevertheless, the two brothers had loved each other always. Many years +had now gone by since these things had occurred, but still the same +feelings remained. When she had first come down to Allington she had +resolved to win the squire's regard, but she had now long known that +any such winning was out of the question; indeed, there was no longer a +wish for it. Mrs Dale was not one of those soft-hearted women who +sometimes thank God that they can love any one. She could once have +felt affection for her brother-in-law--affection, and close, careful, +sisterly friendship; but she could not do so now. He had been cold to +her, and had with perseverance rejected her advances. That was now +seven years since; and during those years Mrs Dale had been, at any +rate, as cold to him as he had been to her. + +But all this was very hard to bear. That her daughters should love +their uncle was not only reasonable, but in every way desirable. He was +not cold to them. To them he was generous and affectionate. If she were +only out of the way, he would have taken them to his house as his own, +and they would in all respects have stood before the world as his +adopted children. Would it not be better if she were out of the way? + +It was only in her most dismal moods that this question would get +itself asked within her mind, and then she would recover herself, and +answer it stoutly with an indignant protest against her own morbid +weakness. It would not be well that she should be away from her +girls--not though their uncle should have been twice a better uncle; not +though, by her absence, they might become heiresses of all Allington. +Was it not above everything to them that they should have a mother near +them? And as she asked of herself that morbid question--wickedly asked +it, as she declared to herself--did she not know that they loved her +better than all the world beside, and would prefer her caresses and her +care to the guardianship of any uncle, let his house be ever so great? +As yet they loved her better than all the world beside. Of other love, +should it come, she would not be jealous. And if it should come, and +should be happy, might there not yet be a bright evening of life for +herself? If they should marry, and if their lords would accept her +love, her friendship, and her homage, she might yet escape from the +deathlike coldness of that Great House, and be happy in some tiny +cottage, from which she might go forth at times among those who would +really welcome her. A certain doctor there was, living not very far +from Allington, at Guestwick, as to whom she had once thought that he +might fill that place of son-in-law--to be well-beloved. Her quiet, +beautiful Bell had seemed to like the man; and he had certainly done +more than seem to like her. But now, for some weeks past, this hope, or +rather this idea, had faded away. Mrs Dale had never questioned her +daughter on the matter; she was not a woman prone to put such +questions. But during the month or two last past, she had seen with +regret that Bell looked almost coldly on the man whom her mother +favoured. + +In thinking of all this the long evening passed away, and at eleven +o'clock she heard the coming steps across the garden. The young men +had, of course, accompanied the girls home; and as she stepped out from +the still open window of her own drawing-room, she saw them all on the +centre of the lawn before her. + +"There's mamma," said Lily." Mamma, Mr Crosbie wants to play croquet by +moonlight." + +"I don't think there is light enough for that," said Mrs Dale. + +"There is light enough for him," said Lily, "for he plays quite +independently of the hoops; don't you, Mr Crosbie?" + +"There's very pretty croquet light, I should say," said Mr Crosbie, +looking up at the bright moon; "and then it is so stupid going to bed." + +"Yes, it is stupid going to bed," said Lily;" but people in the country +are stupid, you know. Billiards, that you can play all night by gas, is +much better, isn't it?" + +"Your arrows fall terribly astray there, Miss Dale, for I never touch a +cue; you should talk to your cousin about billiards." + +"Is Bernard a great billiard player," asked Bell. + +"Well, I do play now and again; about as well as Crosbie does croquet. +Come, Crosbie, we'll go home and smoke a cigar." + +"Yes," said Lily; "and then, you know, we stupid people can go to bed. +Mamma, I wish you had a little smoking-room here for us. I don't like +being considered stupid." And then they parted--the ladies going into +the house, and the two men returning across the lawn. + +"Lily, my love," said Mrs Dale, when they were all together in her +bedroom, "it seems to me that you are very hard upon Mr Crosbie." + +"She has been going on like that all the evening," said Bell. + +"I'm sure we are very good friends," said Lily. + +"Oh, very," said Bell. + +"Now, Bell, you're jealous; you know you are." And then, seeing that +her sister was in some slight degree vexed, she went up to her and +kissed her. "She shan't be called jealous; shall she, mamma?" + +"I don't think she deserves it," said Mrs Dale. + +"Now, you don't mean to say that you think I meant anything," said +Lily. "As if I cared a buttercup about Mr Crosbie." + +"Or I either, Lily." + +"Of course you don't. But I do care for him very much, mamma. He is +such a duck of an Apollo. I shall always call him Apollo; Phoebus +Apollo! And when I draw his picture he shall have a mallet in his hand +instead of a bow. Upon my word I am very much obliged to Bernard for +bringing him down here; and I do wish he was not going away the day +after tomorrow." + +"The day after tomorrow!" said Mrs Dale. "It was hardly worth coming for +two days." + +"No, it wasn't--disturbing us all in our quiet little ways just for such +a spell as that--not giving one time even to count his rays." +"But he says he shall perhaps come again," said Bell. + +"There is that hope for us," said Lily. "Uncle Christopher asked him to +come down when he gets his long leave of absence. This is only a short +sort of leave. He is better off than poor Johnny Eames. Johnny Eames +only has a month, but Mr Crosbie has two months just whenever he likes +it; and seems to be pretty much his own master all the year round +besides." + +"And Uncle Christopher asked him to come down for the shooting in +September," said Bell. + +"And though he didn't say he'd come I think he meant it," said Lily. +"There is that hope for us, mamma." + +"Then you'll have to draw Apollo with a gun instead of a mallet." + +"That is the worst of it, mamma. We shan't see much of him or of +Bernard either. They wouldn't let us go out into the woods as beaters, +would they?" + +"You'd make too much noise to be of any use." + +"Should I? I thought the beaters had to shout at the birds. I should +get very tired of shouting at birds, so I think I'll stay at home and +look after my clothes." + +"I hope he will come, because Uncle Christopher seems to like him so +much," said Bell. + +"I wonder whether a certain gentleman at Guestwick will like his +coming," said Lily. And then, as soon as she had spoken the words, she +looked at her sister, and saw that she had grieved her. + +"Lily, you let your tongue run too fast," said Mrs Dale. + +"I didn't mean anything, Bell," said Lily." I beg your pardon." + +"It doesn't signify," said Bell. "Only Lily says things without +thinking." And then that conversation came to an end, and nothing more +was said among them beyond what appertained to their toilet, and a few +last words at parting. But the two girls occupied the same room, and +when their own door was closed upon them, Bell did allude to what had +passed with some spirit. + +"Lily, you promised me," she said, "that you would not say anything +more to me about Dr Crofts." + +"I know I did, and I was very wrong. I beg your pardon, Bell; and I +won't do it again--not if I can help it." + +"Not help it, Lily!" + +"But I'm sure I don't know why I shouldn't speak of him--only not in the +way of laughing at you. Of all the men I ever saw in my life I like him +best. And only that I love you better than I love myself I could find +it in my heart to grudge you his--" + +"Lily, what did you promise just now?" + +"Well; after to-night. And I don't know why you should turn against +him." + +"I have never turned against him or for him." + +"There's no turning about him. He'd give his left hand if you'd only +smile on him. Or his right either--and that's what I should like to see; +so now you've heard it." + +"You know you are talking nonsense." + +"So I should like to see it. And so would mamma too, I'm sure; though I +never heard her say a word about him. In my mind he's the finest fellow +I ever saw. What's Mr Apollo Crosbie to him? And now, as it makes you +unhappy, I'll never say another word about him." As Bell wished her +sister good-night with perhaps more than her usual affection, it was +evident that Lily's words and eager tone had in some way pleased her, +in spite of their opposition to the request which she had made. And +Lily was aware that it was so. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +MRS ROPER'S BOARDING-HOUSE + +I have said that John Eames had been petted by none but his mother, but +I would not have it supposed, on this account, that John Eames had no +friends. There is a class of young men who never get petted, though +they may not be the less esteemed, or perhaps loved. They do not come +forth to the world as Apollos, nor shine at all, keeping what light +they may have for inward purposes. Such young men are often awkward, +ungainly, and not yet formed in their gait; they straggle with their +limbs, and are shy; words do not come to them with ease, when words are +required, among any but their accustomed associates. Social meetings +are periods of penance to them, and any appearance in public will +unnerve them. They go much about alone, and blush when women speak to +them. In truth, they are not as yet men, whatever the number may be of +their years; and, as they are no longer boys, the world has found for +them the ungraceful name of hobbledehoy. + +Such observations, however, as I have been enabled to make in this +matter have led me to believe that the hobbledehoy is by no means the +least valuable species of the human race. When I compare the +hobbledehoy of one or two and twenty to some finished Apollo of the +same age, I regard the former as unripe fruit, and the latter as fruit +that is ripe. Then comes the question as to the two fruits. Which is +the better fruit, that which ripens early--which is, perhaps, favoured +with some little forcing apparatus, or which, at least, is backed by +the warmth of a southern wall; or that fruit of slower growth, as to +which nature works without assistance, on which the sun operates in its +own time--or perhaps never operates if some ungenial shade has been +allowed to interpose itself? The world, no doubt, is in favour of the +forcing apparatus or of the southern wall. The fruit comes certainly, +and at an assured period. It is spotless, speck-less, and of a certain +quality by no means despicable. The owner has it when he wants it, and +it serves its turn. But, nevertheless, according to my thinking, the +fullest flavour of the sun is given to that other fruit--is given in the +sun's own good time, if so be that no ungenial shade has interposed +itself. I like the smack of the natural growth, and like it, perhaps, +the better because that which has been obtained has been obtained +without favour. + +But the hobbledehoy, though he blushes when women address him, and is +uneasy even when he is near them, though he is not master of his limbs +in a ball-room, and is hardly master of his tongue at any time, is the +most eloquent of beings, and especially eloquent among beautiful women. +He enjoys all the triumphs of a Don Juan, without any of Don Juan's +heartlessness, and is able to conquer in all encounters, through the +force of his wit and the sweetness of his voice. But this eloquence is +heard only by his own inner ears, and these triumphs are the triumphs +of his imagination. + +The true hobbledehoy is much alone, not being greatly given to social +intercourse even with other hohbledehoys--a trait in his character which +I think has hardly been sufficiently observed by the world at large. He +has probably become a hobbledehoy instead of an Apollo, because +circumstances have not afforded him much social intercourse; and, +therefore, he wanders about in solitude, taking long walks, in which he +dreams of those successes which are so far removed from his powers of +achievement. Out in the fields, with his stick in his hand, he is very +eloquent, cutting off the heads of the springing summer weeds, as he +practises his oratory with energy. And thus he feeds an imagination for +which those who know him give him but scanty credit, and unconsciously +prepares himself for that latter ripening, if only the ungenial shade +will some day cease to interpose itself. + +Such hobbledehoys receive but little petting, unless it be from a +mother; and such a hobbledehoy was John Eames when he was sent away +from Guestwick to begin his life in the big room of a public office in +London. We may say that there was nothing of the young Apollo about +him. But yet he was not without friends--friends who wished him well, +and thought much of his welfare. And he had a younger sister who loved +him dearly, who had no idea that he was a hobbledehoy, being somewhat +of a hobbledehoy herself. Mrs Eames, their mother, was a widow, living +in a small house in Guestwick, whose husband had been throughout his +whole life an intimate friend of our squire. He had been a man of many +misfortunes, having begun the world almost with affluence, and having +ended it in poverty. He had lived all his days in Guestwick, having at +one time occupied a large tract of land, and lost much money in +experimental farming; and late in life he had taken a small house on +the outskirts of the town, and there had died, some two years +previously to the commencement of this story. With no other man had Mr +Dale lived on terms so intimate; and when Mr Eames died Mr Dale acted +as executor under his will, and as guardian to his children. He had, +moreover, obtained for John Eames that situation under the Crown which +he now held. + +And Mrs Eames had been and still was on very friendly terms with Mrs +Dale. The squire had never taken quite kindly to Mrs Eames, whom her +husband had not met till he was already past forty years of age. But +Mrs Dale had made up by her kindness to the poor forlorn woman for any +lack of that cordiality which might have been shown to her from the +Great House. Mrs Eames was a poor forlorn woman--forlorn even during the +time of her husband's life, but very woebegone now in her widowhood. In +matters of importance the squire had been kind to her; arranging for +her little money affairs, advising her about her house and income, also +getting for her that appointment for her son. But he snubbed her when +he met her, and poor Mrs Eames held him in great awe. Mrs Dale held her +brother-in-law in no awe, and sometimes gave to the widow from +Guestwick advice quite at variance to that given by the squire. In this +way there had grown up an intimacy between Bell and Lily and the young +Eames, and either of the girls was prepared to declare that Johnny +Eames was her own and well-loved friend. Nevertheless, they spoke of +him occasionally with some little dash of merriment--as is not unusual +with pretty girls who have hobbledehoys among their intimate friends, +and who are not themselves unaccustomed to the grace of an Apollo. + +I may as well announce at once that John Eames, when he went up to +London, was absolutely and irretrievably in love with Lily Dale. He had +declared his passion in the most moving language a hundred times; but +he had declared it only to himself. He had written much poetry about +Lily, but he kept his lines safe under double lock and key. When he +gave the reins to his imagination, he flattered himself that he might +win not only her but the world at large also by his verses; but he +would have perished rather than exhibit them to human eye. During the +last ten weeks of his life at Guestwick, while he was preparing for his +career in London, he hung about Allington, walking over frequently and +then walking back again; but all in vain. During these visits he would +sit in Mrs Dale's drawing-room, speaking but little, and addressing +himself usually to the mother; but on each occasion, as he started on +his long, hot walk, he resolved that he would say something by which +Lily might know of his love. When he left for London that something had +not been said. + +He had not dreamed of asking her to be his wife. John Eames was about +to begin the world with eighty pounds a year, and an allowance of +twenty more from his mother's purse. He was well aware that with such +an income he could not establish himself as a married man in London, +and he also felt that the man who might be fortunate enough to win Lily +for his wife should be prepared to give her every soft luxury that the +world could afford. He knew well that he ought not to expect any +assurance of Lily's love; but, nevertheless, he thought it possible +that he might give her an assurance of his love. It would probably be +in vain. He had no real hope, unless when he was in one of those poetic +moods. He had acknowledged to himself, in some indistinct way, that he +was no more than a hobbledehoy, awkward, silent, ungainly, with a face +unfinished, as it were, or unripe. All this he knew, and knew also that +there were Apollos in the world who would be only too ready to carry +off Lily in their splendid cars. But not the less did he make up his +mind that having loved her once, it behoved him, as a true man, to love +her on to the end. + +One little word he had said to her when they parted, but it had been a +word of friendship rather than of love. He had strayed out after her on +to the lawn, leaving Bell alone in the drawing-room. Perhaps Lily had +understood something of the boy's feelings, and had wished to speak +kindly to him at parting, or almost more than kindly. There is a silent +love which women recognise, and which in some silent way they +acknowledge--giving gracious but silent thanks for the respect which +accompanies it." I have come to say good-bye, Lily," said Johnny Eames, +following the girl down one of the paths. + +"Good-bye, John," said she, turning round. "You know how sorry we are +to lose you. But it's a great thing for you to be going up to London." + +"Well, yes. I suppose it is. I'd sooner remain here, though." + +"What! stay here, doing nothing! I am sure you would not." + +"Of course, I should like to do something. I mean--" + +"You mean that it is painful to part with old friends; and I'm sure +that we all feel that at parting with you. But you'll have a holiday +sometimes, and then we shall see you." + +"Yes; of course, I shall see you then. I think, Lily, I shall care more +about seeing you than anybody." + +"Oh, no, John. There'll be your own mother and sister." + +"Yes; there'll be mother and Mary, of course. But I will come, over +here the very first day--that is, if you'll care to see me?" + +"We shall care to see you very much. You know that. And--dear John, I do +hope you'll be happy." There was a tone in her voice as she spoke which +almost upset him; or, I should rather say, which almost put him up upon +his legs and made him speak; but its ultimate effect was less powerful. + +"Do you?" said he, as he held her hand for a few happy seconds. "And +I'm sure I hope you'll always be happy. Good-bye, Lily." Then he left +her, returning to the house, and she continued her walk, wandering down +among the trees in the shrubbery, and not showing herself for the next +half hour. How many girls have some such lover as that--a lover who says +no more to them than Johnny Eames then said to Lily Dale, who never +says more than that? And yet when, in after years, they count over the +names of all who have loved them, the name of that awkward youth is +never forgotten. + +That farewell had been spoken nearly two years since, and Lily Dale was +then seventeen. Since that time, John Eames had been home once, and +during his month's holidays had often visited Allington. But he had +never improved upon that occasion of which I have told. It had seemed +to him that Lily was colder to him than in old days, and he had become, +if anything, more shy in his ways with her. He was to return to +Guestwick again during this autumn; but, to tell honestly the truth in +the matter, Lily Dale did not think or care very much for his coming. +Girls of nineteen do not care for lovers of one-and-twenty, unless it +be when the fruit has had the advantage of some forcing apparatus or +southern wall. + +John Eames's love was still as hot as ever, having been sustained on +poetry, and kept alive, perhaps, by some close confidence in the ears +of a brother clerk; but it is not to be supposed that during these two +years he had been a melancholy lover. It might, perhaps, have been +better for him had his disposition led him to that line of life. Such, +however, had not been the case. He had already abandoned the flute on +which he had learned to sound three sad notes before he left Guestwick, +and, after the fifth or sixth Sunday, he had relinquished his solitary +walks along the towing-path of the Regent's Park Canal. To think of +one's absent love is very sweet; but it becomes monotonous after a mile +or two of a towing-path, and the mind will turn away to Aunt Sally, the +Cremorne Gardens, and financial questions. I doubt whether any girl +would be satisfied with her lover's mind if she knew the whole of it. + +"I say, Caudle, I wonder whether a fellow could get into a club?" This +proposition was made, on one of those Sunday walks, by John Eames to +the friend of his bosom, a brother clerk, whose legitimate name was +Cradell, and who was therefore called Caudle by his friends. + +"Get into a club? Fisher in our room belongs to a club." + +"That's only a chess-club. I mean a regular club." + +"One of the swell ones at the West End?" said Cradell, almost lost in +admiration at the ambition of his friend. + +"I shouldn't want it to be particularly swell. If a man isn't a swell, +I don't see what he gets by going among those who are. But it is so +uncommon slow at Mother Roper's." Now Mrs Roper was a respectable lady, +who kept a boarding-house in Burton Crescent, and to whom Mrs Eames had +been strongly recommended when she was desirous of finding a specially +safe domicile for her son. For the first year of his life in London +John Eames had lived alone in lodgings; but that had resulted in +discomfort, solitude, and, alas! in some amount of debt, which had come +heavily on the poor widow. Now, for the second year, some safer mode of +life was necessary. She had learned that Mrs Cradell, the widow of a +barrister, who had also succeeded in getting her son into the +Income-tax Office, had placed him in charge of Mrs Roper; and she, with +many injunctions to that motherly woman, submitted her own boy to the +same custody. + +"And about going to church?" Mrs Eames had said to Mrs Roper. + +"I don't suppose I can look after that, ma'am," Mrs Roper had answered, +conscientiously. "Young gentlemen choose mostly their own churches." + +"But they do go?" asked the mother, very anxious in her heart as to +this new life in which her boy was to be left to follow in so many +things the guidance of his own lights. + +"They who have been brought up steady do so, mostly." + +"He has been brought up steady, Mrs Roper. He has, indeed." + +"And you won't give him a latch-key?" + +"Well, they always do ask for it." + +"But he won't insist, if you tell him that I had rather that he +shouldn't have one." Mrs Roper promised accordingly, and Johnny Eames +was left under her charge. He did ask for the latch-key, and Mrs Roper +answered as she was bidden. But he asked again, having been +sophisticated by the philosophy of Cradell, and then Mrs Roper handed +him the key. She was a woman who plumed herself on being as good as her +word, not understanding that any one could justly demand from her more +than that. She gave Johnny Eames the key, as doubtless she had intended +to do; for Mrs Roper knew the world, and understood that young men +without latch-keys would not remain with her. + +"I thought you didn't seem to find it so dull since Amelia came home," +said Cradell. + +"Amelia! What's Amelia to me? I have told you everything, Cradell, and +yet you can talk to me about Amelia Roper!" + +"Come now, Johnny--" + +He had always been called Johnny, and the name had gone with him to his +office. Even Amelia Roper had called him Johnny on more than one +occasion before this. + +"You were as sweet to her the other night as though there were no such +person as L. D. in existence." John Eames turned away and shook his +head. Nevertheless, the words of his friend were grateful to him. The +character of a Don Juan was not unpleasant to his imagination, and he +liked to think that he might amuse Amelia Roper with a passing word, +though his heart was true to Lilian Dale. In truth, however, many more +of the passing words had been spoken by the fair Amelia than by him. + +Mrs Roper had been quite as good as her word when she told Mrs Eames +that her household was composed of herself, of a son who was in an +attorney's office, of an ancient maiden cousin, named Miss Spruce, who +lodged with her, and of Mr Cradell. The divine Amelia had not then been +living with her, and the nature of the statement which she was making +by no means compelled her to inform Mrs Eames that the young lady would +probably return home in the following winter. A Mr and Mrs Lupex had +also joined the family lately, and Mrs Roper's house was now supposed +to be full. + +And it must be acknowledged that Johnny Eames had, in certain unguarded +moments, confided to Cradell the secret of a second weaker passion for +Amelia. "She is a fine girl--a deuced fine girl!" Johnny Eames had said, +using a style of language which he had learned since he left Guestwick +and Allington. Mr Cradell, also, was an admirer of the fair sex; and, +alas! that I should say so, Mrs Lupex, at the present moment, was the +object of his admiration. Not that he entertained the slightest idea of +wronging Mr Lupex--a man who was a scene-painter, and knew the world. Mr +Cradell admired Mrs Lupex as a connoisseur, not simply as a man. "By +heavens! Johnny, what a figure that woman has!" he said, one morning, +as they were walking to their office. + +"Yes; she stands well on her pins." + +"I should think she did. If I understand anything of form," said +Cadell, "that woman is nearly perfect. What a torso she has?" From +which expression, and from the fact that Mrs Lupex depended greatly +upon her stays and crinoline for such figure as she succeeded in +displaying, it may, perhaps, be understood that Mr Cradell did not +understand much about form. + +"It seems to me that her nose isn't quite straight," said Johnny Eames. +Now, it undoubtedly was the fact that the nose on Mrs Lupex's face was +a little awry. It was a long, thin nose, which, as it progressed +forward into the air, certainly had a preponderating bias towards the +left side. + +"I care more for figure than face," said Cradell. "But Mrs Lupex has +fine eyes--very fine eyes." + +"And knows how to use them, too," said Johnny. + +"Why shouldn't she? And then she has lovely hair." + +"Only she never brushes it in the morning." + +"Do you know, I like that kind of deshabille," said Cadell. "Too much +care always betrays itself." + +"But a woman should be tidy." + +"What a word to apply to such a creature as Mrs Lupex! I call her a +splendid woman. And how well she was got up last night. Do you know, +I've an idea that Lupex treats her very badly. She said a word or two +to me yesterday that--," and then he paused. There are some confidences +which a man does not share even with his dearest friend. + +"I rather fancy it's quite the other way," said Eames. + +"How the other way?" + +"That Lupex has quite as much as he likes of Mrs L. The sound of her +voice sometimes makes me shake in my shoes, I know." + +"I like a woman with spirit," said Cradell. + +"Oh, so do I. But one may have too much of a good thing. Amelia did +tell me--only you won't mention it." + +"Of course, I won't." + +"She told me that Lupex sometimes was obliged to run away from her. He +goes down to the theatre, and remains there two or three days at a +time. Then she goes to fetch him, and there is no end of a row in the +house." + +"The fact is, he drinks," said Cadell. "By George, I pity a woman whose +husband drinks--and such a woman as that, too!" + +"Take care, old fellow, or you'll find yourself in a scrape." + +"I know what I'm at. Lord bless you, I'm not going to lose my head +because I see a fine woman." + +"Or your heart either?" + +"Oh, heart! There's nothing of that kind of thing about me. I regard a +woman as a picture or a statue. I dare say I shall marry some day, +because men do; but I've no idea of losing myself about a woman." + +"I'd lose myself ten times over for--" + +"L. D.," said Cradell. + +"That I would. And yet I know I shall never have her. I'm a jolly, +laughing sort of fellow; and yet, do you know, Caudle, when that girl +marries, it will be all up with me. It will, indeed." + +"Do you mean that you'll cut your throat?" + +"No; I shan't do that. I shan't do anything of that sort; and yet it +will be all up with me." + +"You are going down there in October--why don't you ask her to have you?" + +"With ninety pounds a year!" His grateful country had twice increased +his salary at the rate of five pounds each year. "With ninety pounds a +year, and twenty allowed me by my mother!" + +"She could wait, I suppose. I should ask her, and no mistake. If one is +to love a girl, it's no good one going on in that way!" + +"It isn't much good, certainly," said Johnny Eames. And then they +reached the door of the Income-tax Office, and each went away to his +own desk. + +From this little dialogue, it may be imagined that though Mrs Roper +was as good as her word, she was not exactly the woman whom Mrs Eames +would have wished to select as a protecting angel for her son. But the +truth I take to be this, that protecting angels for widows' sons, at +forty-eight pounds a year, paid quarterly, are not to be found very +readily in London. Mrs Roper was not worse than others of her class. +She would much have preferred lodgers who were respectable to those who +were not so--if she could only have found respectable lodgers as she +wanted them. Mr and Mrs Lupex hardly came under that denomination; and +when she gave them up her big front bedroom at a hundred a year, she +knew she was doing wrong. And she was troubled, too, about her own +daughter Amelia, who was already over thirty years of age. Amelia was a +very clever young woman, who had been, if the truth must be told, first +young lady at a millinery establishment in Manchester. Mrs Roper knew +that Mrs Eames and Mrs, Cradell would not wish their sons to associate +with her daughter. But what could she do? She could not refuse the +shelter of her own house to her own child, and yet her heart misgave +her when she saw Amelia flirting with young Eames. + +"I wish, Amelia, you wouldn't have so much to say to that young man." + +"Laws, mother." + +"So I do. If you go on like that, you'll put me out of both my lodgers." + +"Go on like what, mother? If a gentleman speaks to me, I suppose I'm to +answer him? I know how to behave myself, I believe." And then she gave +her head a toss. Whereupon her mother was silent; for her mother was +afraid of her. + + + +CHAPTER V + +ABOUT L. D. + +Apollo Crosbie left London for Allington on the 31st of August, +intending to stay there four weeks, with the declared intention of +recruiting his strength by an absence of two months from official +cares, and with no fixed purpose as to his destiny for the last of +those two months. Offers of hospitality had been made to him by the +dozen. Lady Hartletop's doors, in Shropshire, were open to him, if he +chose to enter them. He had been invited by the Countess de Courcy to +join her suite at Courcy Castle. His special friend Montgomerie Dobbs +had a place in Scotland, and then there was a yachting party by which +he was much wanted. But Mr Crosbie had as yet knocked himself down to +none of these biddings, having before him when he left London no other +fixed engagement than that which took him to Allington. On the first of +October we shall also find ourselves at Allington in company with +Johnny Eames; and Apollo Crosbie will still be there--by no means to the +comfort of our friend from the Income-tax Office. + +Johnny Eames cannot be called unlucky in that matter of his annual +holiday, seeing that he was allowed to leave London in October, a month +during which few chose to own that they remain in town. For myself, I +always regard May as the best month for holiday-making; but then no +Londoner cares to be absent in May. Young Eames, though he lived in +Burton Crescent and had as yet no connection with the West End, had +already learned his lesson in this respect. "Those fellows in the big +room want me to take May," he had said to his friend Cadell. "They must +think I'm uncommon green." + +"It's too bad," said Cadell. "A man shouldn't be asked to take his +leave in May. I never did, and what's more, I never will. I'd go to the +Board first." Eames had escaped this evil without going to the Board, +and had succeeded in obtaining for himself for his own holiday that +month of October, which, of all months, is perhaps the most highly +esteemed for holiday purposes. "I shall go down by the mail-train +tomorrow night," he said to Amelia Roper, on the evening before his +departure. At that moment he was sitting alone with Amelia in Mrs +Roper's back drawing-room. In the front room Cradell was talking to Mrs +Lupex; but as Miss Spruce was with them, it may be presumed that Mr +Lupex need have had no cause for jealousy. + +"Yes," said Amelia, "I know how great is your haste to get down to that +fascinating spot. I could not expect that you would lose one single +hour in hurrying away from Burton Crescent." + +Amelia Roper was a tall, well-grown young woman, with dark hair and +dark eyes--not handsome, for her nose was thick, and the lower part of +her face was heavy, but yet not without some feminine attractions. Her +eyes were bright; but then, also, they were mischievous. She could talk +fluently enough; but then, also, she could scold. She could assume +sometimes the plumage of a dove; but then again she could occasionally +ruffle her feathers like an angry kite. I am quite prepared to +acknowledge that John Eames should have kept himself clear of Amelia +Roper; but then young men so frequently do those things which they +should not do! + +"After twelve months up here in London one is glad to get away to one's +own friends," said Johnny. + +"Your own friends, Mr Eames! What sort of friends? Do you suppose I +don't know?" + +"Well, no. I don't think you do know." + +"L. D.!" said Amelia, showing that Lily had been spoken of among people +who should never have been allowed to hear her name. But perhaps, after +all, no more than those two initials were known in Burton Crescent. +From the tone which was now used in naming them, it was sufficiently +manifest that Amelia considered herself to be wronged by their very +existence. + +"L. S. D.," said Johnny, attempting the line of a witty, gay young +spendthrift. "That's my love; pounds, shillings, and pence; and a very +coy mistress she is." + +"Nonsense, sir. Don't talk to me in that way. As if I didn't know where +your heart was. What right had you to speak to me if you had an L. D. +down in the country?" It should be here declared on behalf of poor John +Eames that he had not ever spoken to Amelia--he had not spoken to her in +any such phrase as her words seemed to imply. But then he had written +to her a fatal note of which we will speak further before long, and +that perhaps was quite as bad--or worse. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Johnny. But the laugh was assumed, and not +assumed with ease. + +"Yes, sir; it's a laughing matter to you, I dare say. It is very easy +for a man to laugh under such circumstances--that is to say, if he is +perfectly heartless--if he's got a stone inside his bosom instead of +flesh and blood. Some men are made of stone, I know, and are troubled +with no feelings." + +"What is it you want me to say? You pretend to know all about it, and +it wouldn't be civil in me to contradict you." + +"What is it I want? You know very well what I want; or rather, I don't +want anything. What is it to me? It is nothing to me about L. D. You +can go down to Allington and do what you like for me. Only I hate such +ways." + +"What ways, Amelia?" + +"What ways! Now, look here, Johnny: I'm not going to make a fool of +myself for any man. When I came home here three months ago--and I wish I +never had;"--she paused here a moment, waiting for a word of tenderness; +but as the word of tenderness did not come, she went on--"but when I did +come home, I didn't think there was a man in all London could make me +care for him--that I didn't. And now you're going away, without so much +as hardly saying a word to me." And then she brought out her +handkerchief. + +"What am I to say, when you keep on scolding me all the time?" + +"Scolding you !--and me too! No, Johnny, I ain't scolding you, and don't +mean to. If it's to be all over between us, say the word, and I'll take +myself away out of the house before you come back again. I've had no +secrets from you. I can go back to my business in Manchester, though it +is beneath my birth, and not what I've been used to. If L. D. is more +to you than I am, I won't stand in your way. Only say the word." + +L. D. was more to him than Amelia Roper--ten times more to him. L. D. +would have been everything to him, and Amelia Roper was worse than +nothing. He felt all this at the moment, and struggled hard to collect +an amount of courage that would make him free. + +"Say the word," said she, rising on her feet before him, "and all +between you and me shall be over. I have got your promise, but I'd +scorn to take advantage. If Amelia hasn't got your heart, she'd despise +to take your hand. Only I must have an answer." It would seem that an +easy way of escape was offered to him; but the lady probably knew that +the way as offered by her was not easy to such an one as John Eames. + +"Amelia," he said, still keeping his seat. + +"Well, sir?" + +"You know I love you." + +"And about L. D.?" + +"If you choose to believe all the nonsense that Cradell puts into your +head, I can't help it. If you like to make yourself jealous about two +letters, it isn't my fault." + +"And you love me?" said she. + +"Of course I love you." And then, upon hearing these words, Amelia +threw herself into his arms. + +As the folding doors between the two rooms were not closed, and as Miss +Spruce was sitting in her easy chair immediately opposite to them, it +was probable that she saw what passed. But Miss Spruce was a taciturn +old lady, not easily excited to any show of surprise or admiration; and +as she had lived with Mrs Roper for the last twelve years, she was +probably well acquainted with her daughter's ways. + +"You'll be true to me?" said Amelia, during the moment of that +embrace--"true to me for ever? + +"Oh, yes; that's a matter of course," said Johnny Eames. And then she +liberated him; and the two strolled into the front sitting-room. + +"I declare, Mr Eames," said Mrs Lupex," I'm glad you've come. Here's Mr +Cradell does say such queer things." + +"Queer things!" said Cradell. "Now, Miss Spruce, I appeal to you--Have I +said any queer things?" + +"If you did, sir, I didn't notice them," said Miss Spruce. + +"I noticed them, then," said Mrs Lurex. "An unmarried man like Mr +Cradell has no business to know whether a married lady wears a cap or +her own hair--has he, Mr Eames?" + +"I don't think I ever know," said Johnny, not intending any sarcasm on +Mrs Lupex. + +"I dare say not, sir," said the lady. "We all know where your attention +is riveted. If you were to wear a cap, my dear, somebody would see the +difference very soon--wouldn't they, Miss Spruce?" + +"I dare say they would," said Miss Spruce. + +"If I could look as nice in a cap as you do, Mrs Lupex, I'd wear one +tomorrow," said Amelia, who did not wish to quarrel with the married +lady at the present moment. There were occasions, however, on which Mrs +Lupex and Miss Roper were by no means so gracious to each other. + +"Does Lupex like caps?" asked Cradell. + +"If I wore a plumed helmet on my head, it's my belief he wouldn't know +the difference; nor yet if I had got no head at all. That's what comes +of getting married. It you'll take my advice, Miss Roper, you'll stay +as you are; even though somebody should break his heart about it. +Wouldn't you, Miss Spruce?" + +"Oh, as for me, I'm an old woman, you know," said Miss Spruce, which +was certainly true. + +"I don't see what any woman gets by marrying," continued Mrs Lurex. +"But a man gains everything. He don't know how to live, unless he's got +a woman to help him." + +"But is love to go for nothing?" said Cradell. + +"Oh, love! I don't believe in love. I suppose I thought I loved once, +but what did it come to after all? Now, there's Mr Eames--we all know +he's in love." + +"It comes natural to me, Mrs Lupex. I was born so," said Johnny. + +"And there's Miss Roper--one never ought to speak free about a lady, but +perhaps she's in love too." + +"Speak for yourself, Mrs Lupex," said Amelia. + +"There's no harm in saying that, is there? I'm sure, if you ain't, +you're very hard-hearted; for, if ever there was a true lover, I +believe you've got one of your own. My !--if there's not Lupex's step on +the stair! What can bring him home at this hour? If he's been drinking, +he'll come home as cross as anything." Then Mr Lupex entered the room, +and the pleasantness of the party was destroyed. + +It may be said that neither Mrs Cradell nor Mrs Eames would have placed +their sons in Burton Crescent if they had known the dangers into which +the young men would fall. Each, it must be acknowledged, was imprudent; +but each clearly saw the imprudence of the other. Not a week before +this, Cradell had seriously warned his friend against the arts of Miss +Roper. + +"By George, Johnny, you'll get yourself entangled with that girl." + +"One always has to go through that sort of thing," said Johnny. + +"Yes; but those who go through too much of it never get out again. +Where would you be if she got a written promise of marriage from you?" +Poor Johnny did not answer this immediately, for in very truth Amelia +Roper had such a document in her possession. + +"Where should I be?" said he. "Among the breaches of promise, I +suppose." + +"Either that, or else among the victims of matrimony. My belief of you +is, that if you gave such a promise, you'd carry it out." + +"Perhaps I should," said Johnny; "but I don't know. It's a matter of +doubt what a man ought to do in such a case." + +"But there's been nothing of that kind yet?" + +"Oh dear, no!" + +"If I was you, Johnny, I'd keep away from her. It's very good fun, of +course, that sort of thing; but it is so uncommon dangerous! Where +would you be now with such a girl as that for your wife?" + +Such had been the caution given by Cradell to his friend. And now, just +as he was starting for Allington, Eames returned the compliment. They +had gone together to the Great Western station at Paddington, and +Johnny tendered his advice as they were walking together up and down +the platform. + +"I say, Caudle, old boy, you'll find yourself in trouble with that Mrs +Lupex, if you don't take care of yourself." + +"But I shall take care of myself. There's nothing so safe as a little +nonsense with a married woman. Of course, it means nothing, you know, +between her and me." + +"I don't suppose it does mean anything. But she's always talking about +Lupex being jealous; and if he was to cut up rough, you wouldn't find +it pleasant." + +Cradell, however, seemed to think that there was no danger. His little +affair with Mrs Lupex was quite platonic and safe. As for doing any +real harm, his principles, as he assured his friend, were too high. Mrs +Lupex was a woman of talent, whom no one seemed to understand, and, +therefore, he had taken some pleasure in studying her character. It was +merely a study of character, and nothing more. Then the friends parted, +and Eames was carried away by the night mail-train down to Guestwick. + +How his mother was up to receive him at four o'clock in the morning, +how her maternal heart was rejoicing at seeing the improvement in his +gait, and the manliness of appearance imparted to him by his whiskers, +I need not describe at length. Many of the attributes of a hobbledehoy +had fallen from him, and even Lily Dale might now probably acknowledge +that he was no longer a boy. All which might be regarded as good, if +only in putting off childish things he had taken up things which were +better than childish. + +On the very first day of his arrival he made his way over to Allington. +He did not walk on this occasion as he had used to do in the old happy +days. He had an idea that it might not be well for him to go into Mrs +Dale's drawing-room with the dust of the road on his boots, and the +heat of the day on his brow. So he borrowed a horse and rode over, +taking some pride in a pair of spurs which he had bought in Piccadilly, +and in his kid gloves, which were brought out new for the occasion. +Alas, alas! I fear that those two years in London have not improved +John Eames; and yet I have to acknowledge that John Eames is one of the +heroes of my story. + +On entering Mrs Dale's drawing-room he found Mrs Dale and her eldest +daughter. Lily at the moment was not there, and as he shook hands with +the other two, of course, he asked for her. + +"She is only in the garden," said Bell. "She will be here directly." + +"She has walked across to the Great House with Mr Crosbie," said Mrs +Dale; "but she is not going to remain. She will be so glad to see you, +John! We all expected you today." + +"Did you?" said Johnny, whose heart had been plunged into cold water at +the mention of Mr Crosbie's name. He had been thinking of Lilian Dale +ever since his friend had left him on the railway platform; and, as I +beg to assure all ladies who may read my tale, the truth of his love +for Lily had moulted no feather through that unholy liaison between him +and Miss Roper. I fear that I shall be disbelieved in this; but it was +so. His heart was and ever had been true to Lilian, although he had +allowed himself to be talked into declarations of affection by such a +creature as Amelia Roper. He had been thinking of his meeting with Lily +all the night and throughout the morning, and now he heard that she was +walking alone about the gardens with a strange gentleman. That Mr +Crosbie was very grand and very fashionable he had heard, but he knew +no more of him. Why should Mr Crosbie be allowed to walk with Lily +Dale? And why should Mrs Dale mention the circumstance as though it +were quite a thing of course? Such mystery as there was in this was +solved very quickly. + +"I'm sure Lily won't object to my telling such a dear friend as you +what has happened," said Mrs Dale. "She is engaged to be married to Mr +Crosbie." The water into which Johnny's heart had been plunged now +closed over his head and left him speechless. Lily Dale was engaged to +be married to Mr Crosbie! He knew that he should have spoken when he +heard the tidings. He knew that the moments of silence as they passed +by told his secret to the two women before him--that secret which it +would now behove him to conceal from all the world. But yet he could +not speak. + +"We are all very well pleased at the match," said Mrs Dale, wishing to +spare him. + +"Nothing can be nicer than Mr Crosbie," said Bell. "We have often +talked about you, and he will be so happy to know you." + +"He won't know much about me," said Johnny; and even in speaking these +few senseless words--words which he uttered because it was necessary +that he should say something--the tone of his voice was altered. He +would have given the world to have been master of himself at this +moment, but he felt that he was utterly vanquished. + +"There is Lily coming across the lawn," said Mrs Dale. + +"Then I'd better go," said Eames. "Don't say anything about it; pray +don't." And then, without waiting for another word, he escaped out of +the drawing-room. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +BEAUTIFUL DAYS + +I am well aware that I have not as yet given any description of Bell +and Lilian Dale, and equally well aware that the longer the doing so is +postponed the greater the difficulty becomes. I wish it could be +understood without any description that they were two pretty, +fair-haired girls, of whom Bell was the tallest and the prettiest, +whereas Lily was almost as pretty as her sister, and perhaps was more +attractive. + +They were fair-haired girls, very like each other, of whom I have +before my mind's eye a distinct portrait, which I fear I shall not be +able to draw in any such manner as will make it distinct to others. +They were something below the usual height, being slight and slender in +all their proportions. Lily was the shorter of the two, but the +difference was so trifling that it was hardly remembered unless the two +were together. And when I said that Bell was the prettier, I should, +perhaps, have spoken more justly had I simply declared that her +features were more regular than her sister's. The two girls were very +fair, so that the soft tint of colour which relieved the whiteness of +their complexion was rather acknowledged than distinctly seen. It was +there, telling its own tale of health, as its absence would have told a +tale of present or coming sickness; and yet nobody could ever talk +about the colour in their cheeks. The hair of the two girls was so +alike in hue and texture, that no one, not even their mother, could say +that there was a difference. It was not flaxen hair, and yet it was +very light. Nor did it approach to auburn; and yet there ran through it +a golden tint that gave it a distinct brightness of its own. But with +Bell it was more plentiful than with Lily, and therefore Lily would +always talk of her own scanty locks, and tell how beautiful were those +belonging to her sister. Nevertheless Lily's head was quite as lovely +as her sister's; for its form was perfect, and the simple braids in +which they both wore their hair did not require any great exuberance in +quantity. Their eyes were brightly blue; but Bell's were long, and +soft, and tender, often hardly daring to raise themselves to your face; +while those of Lily were rounder, but brighter, and seldom kept by any +want of courage from fixing themselves where they pleased. And Lily's +face was perhaps less oval in its formless perfectly oval--than her +sister's. The shape of the forehead was, I think, the same, but with +Bell the chin was something more slender and delicate. But Bell's chin +was unmarked, whereas on her sister's there was a dimple which amply +compensated for any other deficiency in its beauty. Bell's teeth were +more even than her sister's; but then she showed her teeth more +frequently. Her lips were thinner, and, as I cannot but think, less +expressive. Her nose was decidedly more regular in its beauty, for +Lily's nose was somewhat broader than it should have been. It may, +therefore, be understood that Bell would be considered the beauty by +the family. + +But there was, perhaps, more in the general impression made by these +girls, and in the whole tone of their appearance, than in the absolute +loveliness of their features or the grace of their figures. There was +about them a dignity of demeanour devoid of all stiffness or pride, and +a maidenly modesty which gave itself no airs. In them was always +apparent that sense of security which women should receive from an +unconscious dependence on their own mingled purity and weakness. These +two girls were never afraid of men--never looked as though they were so +afraid. And I may say that they had little cause for that kind of fear +to which I allude. It might be the lot of either of them to be ill-used +by a man, but it was hardly possible that either of them should ever be +insulted by one. Lily, as may, perhaps, have been already seen, could +be full of play, but in her play she never so carried herself that any +one could forget what was due to her. + +And now Lily Dale was engaged to be married, and the days of her +playfulness were over. It sounds sad, this sentence against her, but I +fear that it must be regarded as true. And when I think that it is +true--when I see that the sportiveness and kitten-like gambols of +girlhood should be over, and generally are over, when a girl has given +her troth, it becomes a matter of regret to me that the feminine world +should be in such a hurry after matrimony. I have, however, no remedy +to offer for the evil; and, indeed, am aware that the evil, if there be +an evil, is not well expressed in the words I have used. The hurry is +not for matrimony, but for love. Then, the love once attained, +matrimony seizes it for its own, and the evil is accomplished. + +And Lily Dale was engaged to be married to Adolphus Crosbie--to Apollo +Crosbie, as she still called him, confiding her little joke to his own +ears. And to her he was an Apollo, as a man who is loved should be to +the girl who loves him. He was handsome, graceful, clever, and +self-confident, and always cheerful when she ask him to be cheerful. +But he had also his more serious moments, and could talk to her of +serious matters. He would read to her, and explain to her things which +had hitherto been too hard for her young intelligence. His voice, too, +was pleasant, and well under command. It could be pathetic if pathos +were required, or ring with laughter as merry as her own. Was not such +a man fit to be an Apollo to such a girl, when once the girl had +acknowledged to herself that she loved him? + +She had acknowledged it to herself, and had acknowledged it to him--as +the reader will perhaps say without much delay. But the courtship had +so been carried on that no delay had been needed. All the world had +smiled upon it. When Mr Crosbie had first come among them at Allington, +as Bernard's guest, during those few days of his early visit, it had +seemed as though Bell had been chiefly noticed by him. And Bell in her +own quiet way had accepted his admiration, saying nothing of it and +thinking but very little. Lily was heart-free at the time, and had ever +been so. No first shadow from Love's wing had as yet been thrown across +the pure tablets of her bosom. With Bell it was not so--not so in +absolute strictness. Bell's story, too, must be told, but not on this +page. But before Crosbie had come among them, it was a thing fixed in +her mind that such love as she had felt must be overcome and +annihilated. We may say that it had been overcome and annihilated, and +that she would have sinned in no way had she listened to vows from this +new Apollo. It is almost sad to think that such a man might have had +the love of either of such girls, but I fear that I must acknowledge +that it was so. Apollo, in the plenitude of his power, soon changed his +mind; and before the end of his first visit, had transferred the +distant homage which he was then paying from the elder to the younger +sister. He afterwards returned, as the squire's guest, for a longer +sojourn among them, and at the end of the first month had already been +accepted as Lily's future husband. + +It was beautiful to see how Bell changed in her mood towards Crosbie +and towards her sister as soon as she perceived how the affair was +going. She was not long in perceiving it, having caught the first +glimpses of the idea on that evening when they both dined at the Great +House, leaving their mother alone to eat or to neglect the peas. For +some six or seven weeks Crosbie had been gone, and during that time +Bell had been much more open in speaking of him than her sister. She +had been present when Crosbie had bid them good-bye, and had listened +to his eagerness as he declared to Lily that he should soon be back +again at Allington. Lily had taken this very quietly, as though it had +not belonged at all to herself; but Bell had seen something of the +truth, and, believing in Crosbie as an earnest, honest man, had spoken +kind words of him, fostering any little aptitude for love which might +already have formed itself in Lily's bosom. + +"But he is such an Apollo, you know," Lily had said. + +"He is a gentleman; I can see that." + +"Oh, yes; a man can't be an Apollo unless he's a gentleman." + +"And he's very clever." + +"I suppose he is clever." There was nothing more said about his being a +mere clerk. Indeed, Lily had changed her mind on that subject. Johnny +Eames was a mere clerk; whereas Crosbie, if he was to be called a clerk +at all, was a clerk of some very special denomination. There may be a +great difference between one clerk and another! A Clerk of the Council +and a parish clerk are very different persons. Lily had got some such +idea as this into her head as she attempted in her own mind to rescue +Mr Crosbie from the lower orders of the Government service. + +"I wish he were not coming," Mrs Dale had said to her eldest daughter. + +"I think you are wrong, mamma." + +"But if she should become fond of him, and then--" + +"Lily will never become really fond of any man till he shall have given +her proper reason. And if he admires her, why should they not come +together?" + +"But she is so young, Bell." + +"She is nineteen; and if they were engaged, perhaps, they might wait +for a year or so. But it's no good talking in that way, mamma. If you +were to tell Lily not to give him encouragement, she would not speak to +him." + +"I should not think of interfering." + +"No, mamma; and therefore it must take its course. For myself, I like +Mr Crosbie very much." + +"So do I, my dear." + +"And so does my uncle. I wouldn't have Lily take a lover of my uncle's +choosing." + +"I should hope not." + +"But it must be considered a good thing if she happens to choose one of +his liking." + +In this way the matter had been talked over between the mother and her +elder daughter. Then Mr Crosbie had come; and before the end of the +first month his declared admiration for Lily had proved the correctness +of her sister's foresight. And during that short courtship all had gone +well with the lovers. The squire from the first had declared himself +satisfied with the match, informing Mrs Dale, in his cold manner, that +Mr Crosbie was a gentleman with an income sufficient for matrimony. + +"It would be close enough in London," Mrs Dale had said. + +"He has more than my brother had when he married," said the squire. +"If he will only make her as happy as your brother made me--while it +lasted!" said Mrs Dale, as she turned away her face to conceal a tear +that was coming. And then there was nothing more said about it between +the squire and his sister-in-law. The squire spoke no word as to +assistance in money matters--did not even suggest that he would lend a +hand to the young people at starting, as an uncle in such a position +might surely have done. It may well be conceived that Mrs Dale herself +said nothing on the subject. And, indeed, it may be conceived, also, +that the squire, let his intentions be what they might, would not +divulge them to Mrs Dale. This was uncomfortable, but the position was +one that was well understood between them. + +Bernard Dale was still at Allington, and had remained there through the +period of Crosbie's absence. Whatever words Mrs Dale might choose to +speak on the matter would probably be spoken to him; but, then, Bernard +could be quite as close as his uncle. When Crosbie returned, he and +Bernard had, of course, lived much together; and, as was natural, there +came to be close discussion between them as to the two girls, when +Crosbie allowed it to be understood that his liking for Lily was +becoming strong. + +"You know, I suppose, that my uncle wishes me to marry the elder one," +Bernard had said. + +"I have guessed as much." + +"And I suppose the match will come off. She's a pretty girl, and as +good as gold." + +"Yes, she is." + +"I don't pretend to be very much in love with her. It's not my way, you +know. But, some of these days, I shall ask her to have me, and I +suppose it'll all go right. The governor has distinctly promised to +allow me eight hundred a year off the estate, and to take us in for +three months every year if we wish it. I told him simply that I +couldn't do it for less, and he agreed with me." + +"You and he get on very well together." + +"Oh, yes! There's never been any fal-lal between us about love, and +duty, and all that. I think we understand each other, and that's +everything. He knows the comfort of standing well with the heir, and I +know the comfort of standing well with the owner." It must be admitted, +I think, that there was a great deal of sound, common sense about +Bernard Dale. + +"What will he do for the younger sister?" asked Crosbie; and, as he +asked the important question, a close observer might have perceived +that there was some slight tremor in his voice. + +"Ah! that's more than I can tell you. If I were you, I should ask him. +The governor is a plain man, and likes plain business." + +"I suppose you couldn't ask him? + +"No; I don't think I could. It is my belief that he will not let her go +by any means empty-handed." + +"Well, I should suppose not." + +"But remember this, Crosbie--I can say nothing to you on which you are +to depend. Lily, also, is as good as gold; and, as you seem to be fond +of her, I should ask the governor, if I were you, in so many words, +what he intends to do. Of course, it's against my interest, for every +shilling he gives Lily will ultimately come out of my pocket. But I'm +not the man to care about that, as you know." + +What might be Crosbie's knowledge on this subject we will not here +inquire; but we may say that it would have mattered very little to him +out of whose pocket the money came, so long as it went into his own. +When he felt quite sure of Lily--having, in fact, received Lily's +permission to speak to her uncle, and Lily's promise that she would +herself speak to her mother--he did tell the squire what was his +intention. This he did in an open, manly way, as though he felt that in +asking for much he also offered to give much. + +"I have nothing to say against it," said the squire. + +"And I have your permission to consider myself as engaged to her?" + +"If you have hers and her mother's. Of course you are aware that I have +no authority over her." + +"She would not marry without your sanction." + +"She is very good to think so much of her uncle," said the squire; and +his words as he spoke them sounded very cold in Crosbie's ears. After +that Crosbie said nothing about money, having to confess to himself +that he was afraid to do so. "And what would be the use?" said he to +himself, wishing to make excuses for what he felt to be weak in his own +conduct. "If he should refuse to give her a shilling I could not go +back from it now." And then some ideas ran across his mind as to the +injustice to which men are subjected in this matter of matrimony. A man +has to declare himself before it is fitting that he should make any +inquiry about a lady's money; and then, when he has declared himself, +any such inquiry is unavailing. Which consideration somewhat cooled the +ardour of his happiness. Lily Dale was very pretty, very nice, very +refreshing in her innocence, her purity, and her quick intelligence. No +amusement could be more deliciously amusing than that of making love to +Lily Dale. Her way of flattering her lover without any intention of +flattery on her part, had put Crosbie into a seventh heaven. In all his +experience he had known nothing like it. "You may be sure of this," she +had said--"I shall love you with all my heart and all my strength." It +was very nice--but then what were they to live upon? Could it be that +he, Adolphus Crosbie, should settle down on the north side of the New +Road, as a married, man, with eight hundred a year? If indeed the +squire would be as good to Lily as he had promised to be to Bell, then +indeed things might be made to arrange themselves. + +But there was no such drawback on Lily's happiness. Her ideas about +money were rather vague, but they were very honest. She knew she had +none of her own, but supposed it was a husband's duty to find what +would be needful. She knew she had none of her own, and was therefore +aware that she ought not to expect luxuries in the little household +that was to be prepared for her. She hoped, for his sake, that her +uncle might give some assistance, but was quite prepared to prove that +she could be a good poor man's wife. In the old colloquies on such +matters between her and her sister, she had always declared that some +decent income should be considered as indispensable before love could +be entertained. But eight hundred a year had been considered as doing +much more than fulfilling this stipulation. Bell had high-flown notions +as to the absolute glory of poverty. She had declared that income +should not be considered at all. If she had loved a man, she could +allow herself to be engaged to him, even though he had no income. Such +had been their theories; and as regarded money, Lily was quite +contented with the way in which she had carried out her own. + +In these beautiful days there was nothing to check her happiness. Her +mother and sister united in telling her that she had done well--that she +was happy in her choice, and justified in her love. On that first day, +when she told her mother all, she had been made exquisitely blissful by +the way in which her tidings had been received. + +"Oh! mamma, I must tell you something," she said, coming up to her +mother's bedroom, after a long ramble with Mr Crosbie through those +Allington fields. + +"Is it about Mr Crosbie?" + +"Yes, mamma." And then the rest had been said through the medium of +warm embraces and happy tears rather than by words. + +As she sat in her mother's room, hiding her face on her mother's +shoulders, Bell had come, and had knelt at her feet. + +"Dear Lily," she had said, "I am so glad." And then Lily remembered how +she had, as it were, stolen her lover from her sister, and she put her +arms round Bell's neck and kissed her. + +"I knew how it was going to be from the very first," said Bell. + +"Did I not, mamma?" + +"I'm sure I didn't," said Lily. "I never thought such a thing was +possible." + +"But we did--mamma and I." + +"Did you?" said Lily. + +"Bell told me that it was to be so," said Mrs Dale. "But I could hardly +bring myself at first to think that he was good enough for my darling." + +"Oh, mamma! you must not say that. You must think that he is good +enough for anything." + +"I will think that he is very good." + +"Who could be better? And then, when you remember all that he is to +give up for my sake--" + +"And what can I do for him in return? What have I got to give him?" + +Neither Mrs Dale nor Bell could look at the matter in this light, +thinking that Lily gave quite as much as she received. But they both +declared that Crosbie was perfect, knowing that by such assurances only +could they now administer to Lily's happiness; and Lily, between them, +was made perfect in her happiness, receiving all manner of +encouragement in her love, and being nourished in her passion by the +sympathy and approval of her mother and sister. + +And then had come that visit from Johnny Eames. As the poor fellow +marched out of the room, giving them no time to say farewell, Mrs Dale +and Bell looked at each other sadly; but they were unable to concoct +any arrangement, for Lily had run across the lawn and was already on +the ground before the window. + +"As soon as we got to the end of the shrubbery there were Uncle +Christopher and Bernard close to us; so I told Adolphus he might go on +by himself." + +"And who do you think has been here?" said Bell. But Mrs Dale said +nothing. Had time been given to her to use her own judgment, nothing +should have been said at that moment as to Johnny's visit. + +"Has anybody been here since I went? Whoever it was didn't stay very +long." + +"Poor Johnny Eames," said Bell. Then the colour came up into Lily's +face, and she bethought herself in a moment that the old friend of her +young days had loved her, that he, too, had had hopes as to his love, +and that now he had heard tidings which would put an end to such hopes. +She understood it all in a moment, but understood also that it was +necessary that she should conceal such understanding. + +"Dear Johnny!" she said. "Why did he not wait for me? + +"We told him you were out," said Mrs Dale. "He will be here again +before long, no doubt." + +"And he knows--?" + +"Yes; I thought you would not object to my telling him." + +"No, mamma; of course not. And he has gone back to Guestwick?" + +There was no answer given to this question, nor were there any further +words then spoken about Johnny Eames, Each of these women understood +exactly how the matter stood, and each knew that the others understood +it. The young man was loved by them all, but not loved with that sort +of admiring affection which had been accorded to Mr Crosbie. Johnny +Eames could not have been accepted as a suitor by their pet. Mrs Dale +and Bell both felt that. And yet they loved him for his love, and for +that distant, modest respect which had restrained him from any speech +regarding it. Poor Johnny! But he was young--hardly as yet out of his +hobbledehoyhood--and he would easily recover this blow, remembering, and +perhaps feeling to his advantage, some slight touch of its passing +romance. It is thus women think of men who love young and love in vain. + +But Johnny Eames himself, as he rode back to Guestwick, forgetful of +his spurs, and with his gloves stuffed into his pocket, thought of the +matter very differently. He had never promised to himself any success +as to his passion for Lily, and had, indeed, always acknowledged that +he could have no hope; but now, that she was actually promised to +another man, and as good as married, he was not the less broken-hearted +because his former hopes had not been high. He had never dared to speak +to Lily of his love, but he was conscious that she knew it, and he did +not now dare to stand before her as one convicted of having loved in +vain. And then, as he rode back, he thought also of his other love, not +with many of those pleasant thoughts which Lotharios and Don Juans may +be presumed to enjoy when they contemplate their successes. "I suppose +I shall marry her, and there'll be an end of me," he said to himself, +as he remembered a short note which he had once written to her in his +madness. There had been a little supper at Mrs Roper's, and Mrs Lupex +and Amelia had made the punch. After supper, he had been by some +accident alone with Amelia in the dining-parlour; and when, warmed by +the generous god, he had declared his passion, she had shaken her head +mournfully, and had fled from him to some upper region, absolutely +refusing his proffered embrace. But on the same night, before his head +had found its pillow, a note had come to him, half repentant, half +affectionate, half repellent--"If, indeed, he would swear to her that +his love was honest and manly, then, indeed, she might even yet--see him +through the chink of the doorway with the purport of telling him that +he was forgiven." Whereupon, a perfidious pencil being near to his +hand, he had written the requisite words. "My only object in life is to +call you my own for ever." Amelia had her misgivings whether such a +promise, in order that it might be used as legal evidence, should not +have been written in ink. It was a painful doubt; but nevertheless she +was as good as her word, and saw him through the chink, forgiving him +for his impetuosity in the parlour with, perhaps, more clemency than a +mere pardon required. "By George! how well she looked with her hair all +loose," he said to himself, as he at last regained his pillow, still +warm with the generous god. But now, as he thought of that night, +returning on his road from Allington to Guestwick, those loose, +floating locks were remembered by him with no strong feeling as to +their charms. And he thought also of Lily Dale, as she was when he had +said farewell to her on that day before he first went up to London. "I +shall care more about seeing you than anybody," he had said; and he had +often thought of the words since, wondering whether she had understood +them as meaning more than an assurance of ordinary friendship. And he +remembered well the dress she had then worn. It was an old brown +merino, which he had known before, and which, in truth, had nothing in +it to recommend it specially to a lover's notice. "Horrid old thing!" +had been Lily's own verdict respecting the frock, even before that day. +But she had hallowed it in his eyes, and he would have been only too +happy to have worn a shred of it near his heart, as a talisman. How +wonderful in its nature is that passion of which men speak when they +acknowledge to themselves that they are in love. Of all things, it is, +under one condition, the most foul, and under another, the most fair. +As that condition is, a man shows himself either as a beast or as a +god! And so we will let poor Johnny Eames ride back to Guestwick, +suffering much in that he had loved basely--and suffering much, also, in +that he had loved nobly. + +Lily, as she had tripped along through the shrubbery, under her lover's +arm, looking up, every other moment, into his face, had espied her +uncle and Bernard. "Stop," she had said, giving him a little pull at +the arm; "I won't go on. Uncle is always teasing me with some +old-fashioned wit. And I've had quite enough of you today, sir. Mind +you come over tomorrow before you go to your shooting." And so she had +left him. + +We may as well learn here what was the question in dispute between the +uncle and cousin, as they were walking there on the broad gravel path +behind the Great House. "Bernard," the old man had said," I wish this +matter could be settled between you and Bell." + +"Is there any hurry about it, sir? + +"Yes, there is hurry; or, rather, as I hate hurry in all things, I +would say that there is ground for despatch. Mind, I do not wish to +drive you. If you do not like your cousin, say so." + +"But I do like her; only I have a sort of feeling that these things +grow best by degrees. I quite share your dislike to being in a hurry." + +"But time enough has been taken now. You see, Bernard, I am going to +make a great sacrifice of income on your behalf." + +"I am sure I am very grateful." + +"I have no children, and have therefore always regarded you as my own. +But there is no reason why my brother Philip's daughter should not be +as dear to me as my brother Orlando's son." + +"Of course not, sir; or, rather, his two daughters." + +"You may leave that matter to me, Bernard. The younger girl is going to +marry this friend of yours, and as he has a sufficient income to +support a wife, I think that my sister-in-law has good reason to be +satisfied by the match. She will not be expected to give up any part of +her small income, as she must have done had Lily married a poor man." + +"I suppose she could hardly give up much." + +"People must be guided by circumstances. I am not disposed to put +myself in the place of a parent to them both. There is no reason why I +should, and I will not encourage false hopes. If I knew that this +matter between you and Bell was arranged, I should have reason to feel +satisfied with what I was doing." From all which Bernard began to +perceive that poor Crosbie's expectations in the matter of money would +not probably receive much gratification. But he also perceived--or +thought that he perceived--a kind of threat in this warning from his +uncle. "I have promised you eight hundred a year with your wife," the +warning seemed to say. "But if you do not at once accept it, or let me +feel that it will be accepted, it may be well for me to change my +mind--especially as this other niece is about to be married. If I am to +give you so large a fortune with Bell, I need do nothing for Lily. But +if you do not choose to take Bell and the fortune, why then--" + +And so on. It was thus that Bernard read his uncle's caution, as they +walked together on the broad gravel path. + +"I have no desire to postpone the matter any longer," said Bernard. "I +will propose to Bell at once, if you wish it." + +"If your mind be quite made up, I cannot see why you should delay it." + +And then, having thus arranged that matter, they received their future +relative with kind smiles and soft words. + + + +CHAPTER VII + +THE BEGINNING OF TROUBLES + +Lily, as she parted with her lover in the garden, had required of him +to attend upon her the next morning as he went to his shooting, and in +obedience to this command he appeared on Mrs Dale's lawn after +breakfast, accompanied by Bernard and two dogs. The men had guns in +their hands, and were got up with all proper sporting appurtenances, +but it so turned out that they did not reach the stubble-fields on the +farther side of the road until after luncheon. And may it not be fairly +doubted whether croquet is not as good as shooting when a man is in +love? + +It will be said that Bernard Dale was not in love; but they who bring +such accusation against him, will bring it falsely. He was in love with +his cousin Bell according to his manner and fashion. It was not his +nature to love Bell as John Eames loved Lily; but then neither would +his nature bring him into such a trouble as that which the charms of +Amelia Roper had brought upon the poor clerk from the Income-tax +Office. Johnny was susceptible, as the word goes; whereas Captain Dale +was a man who had his feelings well under control. He was not one to +make a fool of himself about a girl, or to die of a broken heart; but, +nevertheless, he would probably love his wife when he got a wife, and +would be a careful father to his children. + +They were very intimate with each other now--these four. It was Bernard +and Adolphus, or sometimes Apollo, and Bell and Lily among them; and +Crosbie found it to be pleasant enough. A new position of life had come +upon him, and one exceeding pleasant; but, nevertheless, there were +moments in which cold fits of a melancholy nature came upon him. He was +doing the very thing which throughout all the years of his manhood he +had declared to himself that he would not do. According to his plan of +life he was to have eschewed marriage, and to have allowed himself to +regard it as a possible event only under the circumstances of wealth, +rank, and beauty all coming in his way together. As he had expected no +such glorious prize, he had regarded himself as a man who would reign +at the Beaufort and be potent at Sebright's to the end of his chapter. +But now-- + +It was the fact that he had fallen from his settled position, +vanquished by a silver voice, a pretty wit, and a pair of moderately +bright eyes. He was very fond of Lily, having in truth a stronger +capability for falling in love than his friend Captain Dale; but was +the sacrifice worth his while? This was the question which he asked +himself in those melancholy moments; while he was lying in bed, for +instance, awake in the morning, when he was shaving himself, and +sometimes also when the squire was prosy after dinner. At such times as +these, while he would be listening to Mr Dale, his self-reproaches +would sometimes be very bitter. Why should he undergo this, he, Crosbie +of Sebright's, Crosbie of the General Committee Office, Crosbie who +would allow no one to bore him between Charing Cross and the far end of +Bayswater--why should he listen to the long-winded stories of such a one +as Squire Dale? If, indeed, the squire intended to be liberal to his +niece, then it might be very well. But as yet the squire had given no +sign of such intention, and Crosbie was angry with himself in that he +had not had the courage to ask a question on that subject. + +And thus the course of love was not all smooth to our Apollo. It was +still pleasant for him when he was there on the croquet ground, or +sitting in Mrs Dale's drawing-room with all the privileges of an +accepted lover. It was pleasant to him also as he sipped the squire's +claret, knowing that his coffee would soon be handed to him by a sweet +girl who would have tripped across the two gardens on purpose to +perform for him this service. There is nothing pleasanter than all +this, although a man when so treated does feel himself to look like a +calf at the altar, ready for the knife, with blue ribbons round his +horns and neck. Crosbie felt that he was such a calf--and the more +calf-like, in that he had not as yet dared to as a question about his +wife's fortune. "I will have it out of the old fellow this evening," he +said to himself, as he buttoned on his dandy shooting gaiters that +morning. + +"How nice he looks in them," Lily said to her sister afterwards, +knowing nothing of the thoughts which had troubled her lover's mind +while he was adorning his legs. + +"I suppose we shall come back this way," Crosbie said, as they prepared +to move away on their proper business when lunch was over. + +"Well, not exactly!" said Bernard. + +"We shall make our way round by Darvell's farm, and so back by +Gruddock's. Are the girls going to dine up at the Great House today?" +The girls declared that they were not going to dine up at the Great +House--that they did not intend going to the Great House at all that +evening. + +"Then, as you won't have to dress, you might as well meet us at +Gruddock's gate, at the back of the farmyard. We'll be there exactly at +half-past five." + +"That is to say, we're to be there at half-past five, and you'll keep +us waiting for three-quarters of an hour," said Lily. Nevertheless the +arrangement as proposed was made, and the two ladies were not at all +unwilling to make it. It is thus that the game is carried on among +unsophisticated people who really live in the country. The farmyard +gate at Farmer Gruddock's has not a fitting sound as a trysting-place +in romance, but for people who are in earnest it does as well as any +oak in the middle glade of a forest. Lily Dale was quite in earnest--and +so indeed was Adolphus Crosbie--only with him the earnest was beginning +to take that shade of brown which most earnest things have to wear in +this vale of tears. With Lily it was as yet all rose-coloured. And +Bernard Dale was also in earnest. Throughout this morning he had stood +very near to Bell on the lawn, and had thought that his cousin did not +receive his little whisperings with any aversion. Why should she? Lucky +girl that she was, thus to have eight hundred a year pinned to her +skirt! + +"I say, Dale," Crosbie said, as in the course of their day's work they +had come round upon Gruddock's ground, and were preparing to finish off +his turnips before they reached the farmyard gate. And now, as Crosbie +spoke, they stood leaning on the gate, looking at the turnips while the +two dogs squatted on their haunches. Crosbie had been very silent for +the last mile or two, and had been making up his mind for this +conversation. + +"I say, Dale--your uncle has never said a word to me yet as to Lily's +fortune." + +"As to Lily's fortune! The question is whether Lily has got a fortune." + +"He can hardly expect that I am to take her without some thing. Your +uncle is a man of the world and he knows--" + +"Whether or no my uncle is a man of the world, I will not say; but you +are, Crosbie, whether he is or not. Lily, as you have always known, has +nothing of her own." + +"I am not talking of Lily's own. I'm speaking of her uncle. I have been +straightforward with him; and when I became attached to your cousin I +declared what I meant at once." + +"You should have asked him the question, if you thought there was any +room for such a question." + +"Thought there was any room! Upon my word, you are a cool fellow." + +"Now look here, Crosbie; you may say what you like about my uncle, but +you must not say a word against Lily." + +"Who is going to say a word against her? You can little understand me +if you don't know that the protection of her name against evil words is +already more my care than it is yours. I regard Lily as my own." + +"I only meant to say, that any discontent you may feel as to her money, +or want of money, you must refer to my uncle, and not to the family at +the Small House." + +"I am quite well aware of that." + +"And though you are quite at liberty to say what you like to me about +my uncle, I cannot say that I can see that he has been to blame." + +"He should have told me what her prospects are." + +"But if she have got no prospects! It cannot be an uncle's duty to tell +everybody that he does not mean to give his niece a fortune. In point +of fact, why should you suppose that he has such an intention?" + +"Do you know that he has not? because you once led me to believe that +he would give his niece money." + +"Now, Crosbie, it is necessary that you and I should understand each +other in this matter--" + +"But did you not? + +"Listen to me for a moment. I never said a word to you about my uncle's +intentions in any way, until after you had become fully engaged to Lily +with the knowledge of us all. Then, when my belief on the subject could +make no possible difference in your conduct, I told you that I thought +my uncle would do something for her. I told you so because I did think +so--and as your friend, I should have told you what I thought in any +matter that concerned your interest." + +"And now you have changed your opinion?" + +"I have changed my opinion; but very probably without sufficient +ground." + +"That's hard upon me." + +"It may be hard to bear disappointment; but you cannot say that anybody +has ill-used you." + +"And you don't think he will give her anything?" + +"Nothing that will be of much moment to you." + +"And I'm not to say that that's hard? I think it confounded hard. Of +course I must put off my marriage." + +"Why do you not speak to my uncle? + +"I shall do so. To tell the truth, I think it would have come better +from him; but that is a matter of opinion. I shall tell him very +plainly what I think about it; and if he is angry, why, I suppose I +must leave his house; that will be all." + +"Look here, Crosbie; do not begin your conversation with the purpose of +angering him. He is not a bad-hearted man, but is very obstinate." + +"I can be quite as obstinate as he." And, then, without further parley, +they went in among the turnips, and each swore against his luck as he +missed his birds. There are certain phases of mind in which a man can +neither ride nor shoot, nor play a stroke at billiards, nor remember a +card at whist--and to such a phase of mind had come both Crosbie and +Dale after their conversation over the gate. They were not above +fifteen minutes late at the trysting-place, but nevertheless, punctual +though they had been, the girls were there before them. Of course the +first inquiries were made about the game, and of course the gentlemen +declared that the birds were scarcer than they had ever been before, +that the dogs were wilder, and their luck more excruciatingly bad--to +all which apologies very little attention was paid. Lily and Bell had +not come there to inquire after partridges, and would have forgiven the +sportsmen even though no single bird had been killed. But they could +not forgive the want of good spirits which was apparent. + +"I declare I don't know what's the matter with you," Lily said to her +lover. + +"We have been over fifteen miles of ground, and--" + +"I never knew anything so lackadaisical as you gentlemen from London. +Been over fifteen miles of ground! Why, Uncle Christopher would think +nothing of that." + +"Uncle Christopher is made of sterner stuff than we are," said Crosbie. + +"They used to be born so sixty or seventy years ago." And then they +walked on through Gruddock's fields, and the home paddocks, back to the +Great House, where they found the squire standing in the front of the +porch. + +The walk had not been so pleasant as they had all intended that it +should be when they made their arrangements for it. Crosbie had +endeavoured to recover his happy state of mind, but had been +unsuccessful; and Lily, fancying that her lover was not all that he +should be, had become reserved and silent. Bernard and Bell had not +shared this discomfiture, but then Bernard and Bell were, as a rule, +much more given to silence than the other two. + +"Uncle," said Lily, "these men have shot nothing, and you cannot +conceive how unhappy they are in consequence. It's all the fault of the +naughty partridges." + +"There are plenty of partridges if they knew how to get them," said the +squire. + +"The dogs are uncommonly wild," said Crosbie. + +"They are not wild with me," said the squire; "nor yet with Dingles." +Dingles was the squire's gamekeeper. + +"The fact is, you young men, nowadays, expect to have dogs trained to +do all the work for you. It's too much labour for you to walk up to +your game. You'll be late for dinner, girls, if you don't look sharp." + +"We're not coming up this evening, sir," said Bell. + +"And why not?" + +"We're going to stay with mamma." + +"And why will not your mother come with you? I'll be whipped if I can +understand it. One would have thought that under the present +circumstances she would have been glad to see you all as much together +as possible." + +"We're together quite enough," said Lily. "And as for mamma, I suppose +she thinks--" + +"And then she stopped herself, catching the glance of Bell's imploring +eye. She was going to make some indignant excuse for her mother--some +excuse which would be calculated to make her uncle angry. It was her +practice to say such sharp words to him, and consequently he did not +regard her as warmly as her more silent and more prudent sister. At the +present moment he turned quickly round and went into the house; and +then, with a very few words of farewell, the two young men followed +him. The girls went back over the little bridge by themselves, feeling +that the afternoon had not gone off altogether well. + +"You shouldn't provoke him, Lily," said Bell. + +"And he shouldn't say those things about mamma. It seems to me that you +don't mind what he says." + +"Oh, Lily." + +"No more you do. He makes me so angry that I cannot hold my tongue. He +thinks that because all the place is his, he is to say just what he +likes. Why should mamma go up there to please his humours?" + +"You may be sure that mamma will do what she thinks best. She is +stronger-minded than Uncle Christopher, and does not want any one to +help her. But, Lily, you shouldn't speak as though I were careless +about mamma. You didn't mean that, I know." + +"Of course I didn't." Then the two girls joined their mother in their +own little domain; but we will return to the men at the Great House. + +Crosbie, when he went up to dress for dinner, fell into one of those +melancholy fits of which I have spoken. Was he absolutely about to +destroy all the good that he had done for himself throughout the past +years of his hitherto successful life? or rather, as he at last put the +question to himself more strongly--was it not the case that he had +already destroyed all that success? His marriage with Lily, whether it +was to be for good or bad, was now a settled thing, and was not +regarded as a matter admitting of any doubt. To do the man justice, I +must declare that in all these moments of misery he still did the best +he could to think of Lily herself as of a great treasure which he had +won--as of a treasure which should, and perhaps would, compensate him +for his misery. But there was the misery very plain. He must give up +his clubs, and his fashion, and all that he had hitherto gained, and be +content to live a plain, humdrum, domestic life, with eight hundred a +year, and a small house, full of babies. It was not the kind of Elysium +for which he had tutored himself. Lily was very nice, very nice indeed. +She was, as he said to himself, "by odds, the nicest girl that he had +ever seen." Whatever might now turn up, her happiness should be his +first care. But as for his own--he began to fear that the compensation +would hardly be perfect. + +"It is my own doing," he said to himself, intending to be rather noble +in the purport of his soliloquy, "I have trained myself for other +things--very foolishly. Of course I must suffer--suffer damnably. But she +shall never know it. Dear, sweet, innocent, pretty little thing!" And +then he went on about the squire, as to whom he felt himself entitled +to be indignant by his own disinterested and manly line of conduct +towards the niece. "But I will let him know what I think about it," he +said. "It's all very well for Dale to say that I have been treated +fairly. It isn't fair for a man to put forward his niece under false +pretences. Of course I thought that he intended to provide for her." +And then, having made up his mind in a very manly way that he would not +desert Lily altogether after having promised to marry her, he +endeavoured to find consolation in the reflection that he might, at any +rate, allow himself two years' more run as a bachelor in London. Girls +who have to get themselves married without fortunes always know that +they will have to wait. Indeed, Lily had already told him, that as far +as she was concerned, she was in no hurry. He need not, therefore, at +once withdraw his name from Sebright's. Thus he endeavoured to console +himself, still, however, resolving that he would have a little serious +conversation with the squire that very evening as to Lily's fortune. + +And what was the state of Lily's mind at the same moment, while she, +also, was performing some slight toilet changes preparatory to their +simple dinner at the Small House? + +"I didn't behave well to him," she said to herself; "I never do. I +forget how much he is giving up for me; and then, when anything annoys +him, I make it worse instead of comforting him." And upon that she made +accusation against herself that she did not love him half enough--that +she did not let him see how thoroughly and perfectly she loved him. She +had an idea of her own, that as a girl should never show any preference +for a man till circumstances should have fully entitled him to such +manifestation, so also should she make no drawback on her love, but +pour it forth for his benefit with all her strength, when such +circumstances had come to exist. But she was ever feeling that she was +not acting up to her theory, now that the time for such practice had +come. She would un-wittingly assume little reserves, and make small +pretences of indifference in spite of her own judgment. She had done so +on this afternoon, and had left him without giving him her hand to +press, without looking up into his face with an assurance of love, and +therefore she was angry with herself. + +"I know I shall teach him to hate me," she said out loud to Bell. + +"That would be very sad," said Bell; "but I don't see it." + +"If you were engaged to a man you would be much better to him. You +would not say so much, but what you did say would be all affection. I +am always making horrid little speeches, for which I should like to cut +out my tongue afterwards." + +"Whatever sort of speeches they are, I think that he likes them." + +"Does he? I'm not all so sure of that, Bell. Of course I don't expect +that he is to scold me--not yet, that is. But I know by his eye when he +is pleased and when he is displeased." + +And then they went down to their dinner. + +Up at the Great House the three gentlemen met together in apparent good +humour. Bernard Dale was a man of an equal temperament, who rarely +allowed any feeling, or even any annoyance, to interfere with his usual +manner--a man who could always come to table with a smile, and meet +either his friend or his enemy with a properly civil greeting. Not that +he was especially a false man. There was nothing of deceit in his +placidity of demeanour. It arose from true equanimity; but it was the +equanimity of a cold disposition rather than of one well ordered by +discipline. The squire was aware that he had been unreasonably petulant +before dinner, and having taken himself to task in his own way, now +entered the dining-room with the courteous greeting of a host. + +"I find that your bag was not so bad after all," he said, "and I hope +that your appetite is at least as good as your bag." + +Crosbie smiled, and made himself pleasant, and said a few flattering +words. A man who intends to take some very decided step in an hour or +two generally contrives to bear himself in the meantime as though the +trifles of the world were quite sufficient for him. So he praised the +squire's game; said a good-natured word as to Dingles, and bantered +himself as to his own want of skill. Then all went merry--not quite as a +marriage bell; but still merry enough for a party of three gentlemen. + +But Crosbie's resolution was fixed; and as soon, therefore, as the old +butler was permanently gone, and the wine steadily in transit upon the +table, he began his task, not without some apparent abruptness. Having +fully considered the matter, he had determined that he would not wait +for Bernard Dale's absence. He thought it possible that he might be +able to fight his battle better in Bernard's presence than he should do +behind his back. + +"Squire," he began. They all called him squire when they were on good +terms together, and Crosbie thought it well to begin as though there +was nothing amiss between them. + +"Squire, of course I am thinking a good deal at the present moment as +to my intended marriage." + +"That's natural enough," said the squire. + +"Yes, by George! sir, a man doesn't make a change like that without +finding that he has got something to think of." + +"I suppose not," said the squire. "I never was in the way of getting +married myself, but I can easily understand that." + +"I've been the luckiest fellow in the world in finding such a girl as +your niece--" + +"She is exactly everything that a girl ought to be." + +"She is a good girl," said Bernard. + +"Yes; I think she is," said the squire. + +"But it seems to me," said Crosbie, finding that it was necessary to +dash at once headlong into the water, "that something ought to be said +as to my means of supporting her properly." + +Then he paused for a moment, expecting that the squire would speak. But +the squire sat perfectly still, looking intently at the empty fireplace +and saying nothing. + +"Of supporting her," continued Crosbie," with all those comforts to +which she has been accustomed." + +"She has never been used to expense," said the squire. + +"Her mother, as you doubtless know, is not a rich woman." + +"But living here, Lily has had great advantages--a horse to ride, and +all that sort of thing." + +"I don't suppose she expects a horse in the park," said the squire, +with a very perceptible touch of sarcasm in his voice. + +"I hope not," said Crosbie. + +"I believe she has had the use of one of the ponies here sometimes, but +I hope that has not made her extravagant in her ideas. I did not think +that there was anything of that nonsense about either of them." + +"Nor is there--as far as I know." + +"Nothing of the sort," said Bernard. + +"But the long and the short of it is this, sir!" and Crosbie, as he +spoke, endeavoured to maintain his ordinary voice and usual coolness, +but his heightened colour betrayed that he was nervous. "Am I to expect +any accession of income with my wife?" + +"I have not spoken to my sister-in-law on the subject," said the +squire; "but I should fear that she cannot do much." + +"As a matter of course, I would not take a shilling from her," said +Crosbie. + +"Then that settles it," said the squire. + +Crosbie paused a moment, during which his colour became very red. He +unconsciously took up an apricot and ate it, and then he spoke out. + +"Of course I was not alluding to Mrs Dale's income; I would not, on any +account, disturb her arrangements. But I wished to learn, sir, whether +you intend to do anything for your niece." + +"In the way of giving her a fortune? Nothing at all. I intend to do +nothing at all." + +"Then I suppose we understand each other--at last," said Crosbie. + +"I should have thought that we might have understood each other at +first," said the squire. + +"Did I ever make you any promise, or give you any hint that I intended +to provide for my niece? Have I ever held out to you any such hope? I +don't know what you mean by that word 'at last'--unless it be to give +offence." + +"I meant the truth, sir--I meant this--that seeing the manner in which +your nieces lived with you, I thought it probable that you would treat +them both as though they were your daughters. Now I find out my +mistake--that is all!" + +"You have been mistaken--and without a shadow of excuse for your +mistake." + +"Others have been mistaken with me," said Crosbie, forgetting, on the +spur of the moment, that he had no right to drag the opinion of any +other person into the question. + +"What others?" said the squire, with anger; and his mind immediately +betook itself to his sister-in-law. + +"I do not want to make any mischief," said Crosbie. + +"If anybody connected with my family has presumed to tell you that I +intended to do more for my niece Lilian than I have already done, such +person has not only been false, but ungrateful. I have given to no one +any authority to make any promise on behalf of my niece." + +"No such promise has been made. It was only a suggestion," said Crosbie. + +He was not in the least aware to whom the squire was alluding in his +anger; but he perceived that his host was angry, and having already +reflected that he should not have alluded to the words which Bernard +Dale had spoken in his friendship, he resolved to name no one. Bernard, +as he sat by listening, knew exactly how the matter stood; but, as he +thought, there could be no reason why he should subject himself to his +uncle's ill-will, seeing that he had committed no sin. + +"No such suggestion should have been made," said the squire. + +"No one has had a right to make such a suggestion. No one has been +placed by me in a position to make such a suggestion to you without +manifest impropriety. I will ask no further questions about it; but it +is quite as well that you should understand at once that I do not +consider it to be my duty to give my niece Lilian a fortune on her +marriage. I trust that your offer to her was not made under any such +delusion." + +"No, sir; it was not," said Crosbie. + +"Then I suppose that no great harm has been done. I am sorry if false +hopes have been given to you; but I am sure you will acknowledge that +they were not given to you by me." + +"I think you have misunderstood me, sir. My hopes were never very high; +but I thought it right to ascertain your intentions." + +"Now you know them. I trust, for the girl's sake, that it will make no +difference to her. I can hardly believe that she has been to blame in +the matter." + +Crosbie hastened at once to exculpate Lily; and then, with more awkward +blunders than a man should have made who was so well acquainted with +fashionable life as the Apollo of the Beaufort, he proceeded to explain +that, as Lily was to have nothing, his own pecuniary arrangements would +necessitate some little delay in their marriage. + +"As far as I myself am concerned," said the squire, "I do not like long +engagements. But I am quite aware that in this matter I have no right +to interfere, unless, indeed--" + +"I suppose it will be well to fix some day; eh, Crosbie?" said Bernard. + +"I will discuss that matter with Mrs Dale," said Crosbie. + +"If you and she understand each other," said the squire, + +"That will be sufficient. Shall we go into the drawing-room now, or out +upon the lawn?" + +That evening, as Crosbie went to bed, he felt that he had not gained +the victory in his encounter with the squire. + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +IT CANNOT BE + +On the following morning at breakfast each of the three gentlemen at +the Great House received a little note on pink paper, nominally from +Mrs Dale, asking them to drink tea at the Small House on that day week. +At the bottom of the note which Lily had written for Mr Crosbie was +added: + +"Dancing on the lawn, if we can get anybody to stand up. Of course you +must come, whether you like it or not. And Bernard also. Do your +possible to talk my uncle into coming." And this note did something +towards re-creating good-humour among them at the breakfast-table. It +was shown to the squire, and at last he was brought to say that he +would perhaps go to Mrs Dale's little evening-party. + +It may be well to explain that this promised entertainment had been +originated with no special view to the pleasure of Mr Crosbie, but +altogether on behalf of poor Johnny Eames. What was to be done in that +matter? This question had been fully discussed between Mrs Dale and +Bell, and they had come to the conclusion that it would behest to ask +Johnny over to a little friendly gathering, in which he might be able +to meet Lily with some strangers around them. In this way his +embarrassment might be overcome. It would never do, as Mrs Dale said, +that he should be suffered to stay away, unnoticed by them. + +"When the ice is once broken he won't mind it," said Bell. And, +therefore, early in the day, a messenger was sent over to Guestwick, +who returned with a note from Mrs Eames, saying that she would come on +the evening in question, with her son and daughter. They would keep the +fly and get back to Guestwick the same evening. This was added, as an +offer had been made of beds for Mrs Eames and Mary. + +Before the evening of the party another memorable occurrence had taken +place at Allington, which must be described, in order that the feelings +of the different people on that evening may be understood. The squire +had given his nephew to understand that he wished to have that matter +settled as to his niece Bell; and as Bernard's views were altogether in +accordance with the squire's, he resolved to comply with his uncle's +wishes. The project with him was not a new thing. He did love his +cousin quite sufficiently for purposes of matrimony, and was minded +that it would be a good thing for him to marry. He could not marry +without money, but this marriage would give him an income without the +trouble of intricate settlements, or the interference of lawyers +hostile to his own interests. It was possible that he might do better; +but then it was possible also that he might do much worse; and, in +addition to this, he was fond of his cousin. He discussed the matter +within himself, very calmly; made some excellent resolutions as to the +kind of life which it would behove him to live as a married man; +settled on the street in London in which he would have his house, and +behaved very prettily to Bell for four or five days running. That he +did not make love to her, in the ordinary sense of the word, must, I +suppose, be taken for granted, seeing that Bell herself did not +recognise the fact. She had always liked her cousin, and thought that +in these days he was making himself particularly agreeable. + +On the evening before the party the girls were at the Great House, +having come up nominally with the intention of discussing the +expediency of dancing on the lawn. Lily had made up her mind that it +was to be so, but Bell had objected that it would be cold and damp, and +that the drawing-room would be nicer for dancing. + +"You see we've only got four young gentlemen and one ungrown," said +Lily; "and they will look so stupid standing up all properly in a room, +as though we had a regular party." + +"Thank you for the compliment," said Crosbie, taking off his straw hat. + +"So you will; and we girls will look more stupid still. But out on the +lawn it won't look stupid at all. Two or three might stand up on the +lawn, and it would be jolly enough." + +"I don't quite see it," said Bernard. + +"Yes, I think I see it," said Crosbie. + +"The unadaptability of the lawn for the purpose of a ball--" + +"Nobody is thinking of a ball," said Lily, with mock petulance. + +"I'm defending you, and yet you won't let me speak. The unadaptability +of the lawn for the purpose of a ball will conceal the insufficiency of +four men and a boy as a supply of male dancers. But, Lily, who is the +ungrown gentleman? Is it your old friend Johnny Eames?" + +Lily's voice became sobered as she answered him. + +"Oh, no; I did not mean Mr Eames. He is coming, but I did not mean him. +Dick Boyce, Mr Boyce's son, is only sixteen. He is the ungrown +gentleman." + +"And who is the fourth adult." + +"Dr Crofts, from Guestwick. I do hope you will like him, Adolphus. We +think he is the very perfection of a man." + +"Then of course I shall hate him; and be very jealous, too!" And then +that pair went off together, fighting their own little battle on that +head, as turtle-doves will sometimes do. They went off, and Bernard was +left with Bell standing together over the ha-ha fence which divides the +garden at the back of the house from the field. + +"Bell," he said," they seem very happy, don't they? + +"And they ought to be happy now, oughtn't they? Dear Lily! I hope he +will be good to her. Do you know, Bernard, though he is your friend, I +am very, very anxious about it. It is such a vast trust to put in a man +when we do not quite know him." + +"Yes, it is; but they'll do very well together. Lily will be happy +enough." + +"And he?" + +"I suppose he'll be happy, too. He'll feel himself a little +straightened as to income at first, but that will all come round." +"If he is not, she will be wretched." + +"They will do very well. Lily must be prepared to make the money go as +far as she can, that's all." + +"Lily won't feel the want of money. It is not that. But if he lets her +know that she has made him a poor man, then she will be unhappy. Is he +extravagant, Bernard?" + +But Bernard was anxious to discuss another subject, and therefore would +not speak such words of wisdom as to Lily's engagement as might have +been expected from him had he been in a different frame of mind. + +"No, I should say not," said he." But, Bell--" + +"I do not know that we could have acted otherwise than we have done, +and yet I fear that we have been rash. If he makes her unhappy, +Bernard, I shall never forgive you." + +But as she said this she put her hand lovingly upon his arm, as a +cousin might do, and spoke in a tone which divested her threat of its +acerbity. + +"You must not quarrel with me, Bell, whatever may happen. I cannot +afford to quarrel with you." + +"Of course I was not in earnest as to that." + +"You and I must never quarrel, Bell; at least, I hope not. I could bear +to quarrel with any one rather than with you." And then, as he spoke, +there was something in his voice which gave the girl some slight, +indistinct warning of what might be his intention. Not that she said to +herself at once, that he was going to make her an offer of his +hand--now, on the spot; but she felt that he intended something beyond +the tenderness of ordinary cousinly affection. "I hope we shall never +quarrel," she said. But as she spoke, her mind was settling +itself--forming its resolution, and coming to a conclusion as to the +sort of love which Bernard might, perhaps, expect. And it formed +another conclusion; as to the sort of love which might be given in +return. + +"Bell," he said, "you and I have always been dear friends." + +"Yes; always." + +"Why should we not be something more than friends?" + +To give Captain Dale his due I must declare that his voice was +perfectly natural as he asked this question, and that he showed no +signs of nervousness, either in his face or limbs. He had made up his +mind to do it on that occasion, and he did it without any signs of +outward disturbance. He asked his question, and then he waited for his +answer. In this he was rather hard upon his cousin; for, though the +question had certainly been asked in language that could not be +mistaken, still the matter had not been put forward with all that +fullness which a young lady, under such circumstances, has a right to +expect. + +They had sat down on the turf close to the ha-ha, and they were so near +that Bernard was able to put out his hand with the view of taking that +of his cousin within his own. But she contrived to keep her hands +locked together, so that he merely held her gently by the wrist. +"I don't quite understand, Bernard," she said, after a minute's pause. + +"Shall we be more than cousins? Shall we be man and wife?" + +Now, at least, she could not say that she did not understand. If the +question was ever asked plainly, Bernard Dale had asked it plainly. +Shall we be man and wife? Few men, I fancy, dare to put it all at once +in so abrupt a way, and yet I do not know that the English language +affords any better terms for the question. + +"Oh, Bernard! you have surprised me." + +"I hope I have not pained you, Bell. I have been long thinking of this, +but I am well aware that my own manner, even to you, has not been that +of a lover. It is not in me to smile and say soft things, as Crosbie +can. But I do not love you the less on that account. I have looked +about for a wife, and I have thought that if I could gain you I should +be very fortunate." + +He did not then say anything about his uncle, and the eight hundred a +year; but he fully intended to do so as soon as an opportunity should +serve. He was quite of opinion that eight hundred a year and the +good-will of a rich uncle were strong ground for matrimony--were grounds +even for love; and he did not doubt but his cousin would see the matter +in the same light. + +"You are very good to me--more than good. Of course I know that. But, +oh, Bernard I did not expect this a bit." + +"But you will answer me, Bell! Or if you would like time to think, or +to speak to my aunt, perhaps you will answer me tomorrow?" + +"I think I ought to answer you, now." + +"Not if it be a refusal, Bell. Think well of it before you do that. I +should have told you that, our uncle wishes this match, and that he +will remove any difficulty there might be about money." + +"I do not care for money." + +"But, as you were saying about Lily, one has to be prudent. Now, in our +marriage, everything of that kind would be well arranged. My uncle has +promised me that he would at once allow us--" + +"Stop, Bernard. You must not be led to suppose that any offer made by +my uncle would help to purchase--Indeed, there can be no need for us to +talk about money." + +"I wished to let you know the facts of the case, exactly as they are. +And as to our uncle, I cannot but think that you would be glad, in such +a matter, to have him on your side." + +"Yes, I should be glad to have him on my side; that is, if I were +going--But my uncle's wishes could not influence my decision. The fact +is, Bernard--" + +"Well, dearest, what is the fact? + +"I have always regarded you rather as a brother than as anything else." + +"But that regard may be changed." + +"No; I think not. Bernard, I will go further and speak on at once. It +cannot be changed. I know myself well enough to say that with +certainty. It cannot be changed." + +"You mean that you cannot love me?" + +"Not as you would have me do, I do love you very dearly--very dearly, +indeed. I would go to you in any trouble, exactly as I would go to a +brother." + +"And must that be all, Bell?" + +"Is not that all the sweetest love that can be felt? But you must not +think me ungrateful, or proud. I know well that you are--are proposing +to do for me much more than I deserve. Any girl might be proud of such +an offer. But, dear Bernard--" + +"Bell, before you give me a final answer, sleep upon this and talk it +over with your mother. Of course you were unprepared, and I cannot +expect that you should promise me so much without a moment's +consideration." + +"I was unprepared, and therefore I have not answered you as I should +have done. But as it has gone so far, I cannot let you leave me in +uncertainty. It is not necessary that I should keep you waiting. In +this matter I do know my own mind. Dear Bernard, indeed it cannot be as +you have proposed." + +She spoke in a low voice, and in a tone that had in it something of +almost imploring humility; but, nevertheless, it conveyed to her cousin +an assurance that she was in earnest; an assurance also that that +earnest would not readily be changed. Was she not a Dale? And when did +a Dale change his mind? For a while he sat silent by her; and she too, +having declared her intention, refrained from further words. For some +minutes they thus remained, looking down into the ha-ha. She still kept +her old position, holding her hands clasped together over her knees; +but he was now lying on his side, supporting his head upon his arm, +with his face indeed turned towards her, but with his eyes fixed upon +the grass. During this time, however, he was not idle. His cousin's +answer, though it had grieved him, had not come upon him as a blow +stunning him for a moment, and rendering him unfit for instant thought. +He was grieved, more grieved than he had thought he would have been. +The thing that he had wanted moderately, he now wanted the more in that +it was denied to him. But he was able to perceive the exact truth of +his position, and to calculate what might be his chances if he went on +with his suit, and what his advantage if he at once abandoned it. + +"I do not wish to press you unfairly, Bell; but may I ask if any other +preference--" + +"There is no other preference," she answered. And then again they were +silent for a minute or two. + +"My uncle will be much grieved at this," he said at last. + +"If that be all," said Bell, "I do not think that we need either of us +trouble ourselves. He can have no right to dispose of our hearts." + +"I understand the taunt, Bell." + +"Dear Bernard, there was no taunt. I intended none." + +"I need not speak of my own grief. You cannot but know how deep it must +be. Why should I have submitted myself to this mortification had not my +heart been concerned? But that I will bear, if I must bear it--". And +then he paused, looking up at her. + +"It will soon pass away," she said. + +I will accept it at any rate without complaint. But as to my uncle's +feelings, it is open to me to speak, and to you, I should think, to +listen without indifference. He has been kind to us both, and loves us +two above any other living beings. It's not surprising that he should +wish to see us married, and it will not be surprising if your refusal +should be a great blow to him." + +"I shall be sorry--very sorry." + +"I also shall be sorry. I am now speaking of him. He has set his heart +upon it; and as he has but few wishes, few desires, so is he the more +constant in those which he expresses. When he knows this, I fear that +we shall find him very stern." + +"Then he will be unjust." + +"No; he will not be unjust. He is always a just man. But he will be +unhappy, and will, I fear, make others unhappy. Dear Bell, may not this +thing remain for a while unsettled? You will not find that I take +advantage of your goodness. I will not intrude it on you again--say for +a fortnight--or till Crosbie shall be gone." + +"No, no, no," said Bell. + +"Why are you so eager in your noes? There can be no danger in such +delay. I will not press you--and you can let my uncle think that you +have at least taken time for consideration." + +"There are things as to which one is bound to answer at once. If I +doubted myself, I would let you persuade me. But I do not doubt myself, +and I should be wrong to keep you in suspense. Dear, dearest Bernard, +it cannot be; and as it cannot he, you, as my brother, would bid me say +so clearly. It cannot be." + +As she made this last assurance, they heard the steps of Lily and her +lover close to them, and they both felt that it would be well that +their intercourse should thus be brought to a close. Neither had known +how to get up and leave the place, and ye each had felt that nothing +further could then be said. + +"Did you ever see anything so sweet and affectionate and romantic?" +said Lily, standing over them and looking at them. + +"And all the while we have been so practical and worldly. Do you know, +Bell, that Adolphus seems to think we can't very well keep pigs in +London. It makes me so unhappy." + +"It does seem a pity," said Crosbie, "for Lily seems to know all about +pigs." + +"Of course I do. I haven't lived in the country all my life for +nothing. Oh, Bernard, I should so like to see you rolled down into the +bottom of the ha-ha. Just remain there, and we'll do it between us." + +Whereupon Bernard got up, as did Bell also, and they all went in to tea. + + + +CHAPTER IX + +MRS DALE'S LITTLE PARTY + +The next day was the day of the party. Not a word more was said on that +evening between Bell and her cousin, at least, not a word more of any +peculiar note; and when Crosbie suggested to his friend on the +following morning that they should both step down and see how the +preparations were getting on at the Small House, Bernard declined. + +"You forget, my dear fellow, that I'm not in love as you are," said he. + +"But I thought you were," said Crosbie. + +"No; not at all as you are. You are an accepted lover, and will be +allowed to do anything--whip the creams, and tune the piano, if you know +how. I'm only a half sort of lover, meditating a mariage de convenance +to oblige an uncle, and by no means required by the terms of my +agreement to undergo a very rigid amount of drill. Your position is +just the reverse." In saying all which Captain Dale was no doubt very +false; but if falseness can be forgiven to a man in any position, it +may be forgiven in that which he then filled. So Crosbie went down to +the Small House alone. + +"Dale wouldn't come," said he, speaking to the three ladies together, +"I suppose he's keeping himself up for the dance on the lawn." + +"I hope he will be here in the evening," said Mrs Dale. But Bell said +never a word. She had determined, that under the existing +circumstances, it would be only fair to her cousin that his offer and +her answer to it should be kept secret. She knew why Bernard did not +come across from the Great House with his friend, but she said nothing +of her knowledge. Lily looked at her, but looked without speaking; and +as for Mrs Dale, she took no notice of the circumstance. Thus they +passed the afternoon together without further mention of Bernard Dale; +and it may be said, at any rate of Lily and Crosbie, that his presence +was not missed. + +Mrs Eames, with her son and daughter, were the first to come." It is so +nice of you to come early," said Lily, trying on the spur of the moment +to say something which should sound pleasant and happy, but in truth +using that form of welcome which to my ears sounds always the most +ungracious. + +"Ten minutes before the time named; and, of course, you must have +understood that I meant thirty minutes after it!" That is my +interpretation of the words--when I am thanked for coming early. But Mrs +Eames was a kind, patient, unexacting woman, who took all civil words +as meaning civility. And, indeed, Lily had meant nothing else. + +"Yes; we did come early," said Mrs Eames, "because Mary thought she +would like to go up into the girls' room and just settle her, hair, you +know." + +"So she shall," said Lily, who had taken Mary by the hand. + +"And we knew we shouldn't be in the way. Johnny can go out into the +garden if there's anything left to be done." + +"He shan't be banished unless he likes it," said Mrs Dale. + +"If he finds us women too much for his unaided strength--" + +John Eames muttered something about being very well as he was, and then +got himself into an arm-chair. He had shaken hands with Lily, trying as +he did so to pronounce articulately a little speech which he had +prepared for the occasion. + +"I have to congratulate you, Lily, and I hope with all my heart that +you will be happy." The words were simple enough, and were not +ill-chosen, but the poor young man never got them spoken. The word +"congratulate" did reach Lily's ears, and she understood it all--both +the kindness of the intended speech and the reason why it could not be +spoken. + +"Thank you, John," she said; "I hope I shall see so much of you in +London. It will be so nice to have an old Guestwick friend near me." +She had her own voice, and the pulses of her heart better under command +than had he; but she also felt that the occasion was trying to her. The +man had loved her honestly and truly--still did love her, paying her the +great homage of bitter grief in that he had lost her. Where is the girl +who will not sympathise with such love and such grief, if it be shown +only because it cannot be concealed, and be declared against the will +of him who declares it? + +Then came in old Mrs Hearn, whose cottage was not distant two minutes' +walk from the Small House. She always called Mrs Dale "my dear," and +petted the girls as though they had been children. When told of Lily's +marriage, she had thrown up her hands with surprise, for she had still +left in some corner of her drawers remnants of sugar-plums which she +had bought for Lily. "A London man, is he? Well, well. I wish he lived +in the country. Eight hundred a year, my dear?" she had said to Mrs +Dale. "That sounds nice down here, because we are all so poor. But I +suppose eight hundred a year isn't very much up in London?" + +"The squire's coming, I suppose, isn't he?" said Mrs Hearn, as she +seated herself on the sofa close to Mrs Dale. + +"Yes, he'll be here by-and-by; unless he changes his mind, you know. He +doesn't stand on ceremony with me." + +"He change his mind! When did you ever know Christopher Dale change his +mind?" + +"He is pretty constant, Mrs Hearn." + +"If he promised to give a man a penny, he'd give it. But if he promised +to take away a pound, he'd take it, though it cost him years to get it. +He's going to turn me out of my cottage, he says." + +"Nonsense, Mrs Hearn!" + +"Jolliffe came and told me"--Jolliffe, I should explain, was the +bailiff--"that if I didn't like it as it was, I might leave it, and that +the squire could get double the rent for it. Now all I asked was that +he should do a little painting in the kitchen; and the wood is all as +black as his hat." + +"I thought it was understood you were to paint inside." + +"How can I do it, my dear, with a hundred and forty pounds for +everything? I must live, you know! And he that has workmen about him +every day of the year! And was that a message to send to me, who have +lived in the parish for fifty years? Here he is." And Mrs Hearn +majestically raised herself from her seat as the squire entered the +room. + +With him entered Mr and Mrs Boyce, from the parsonage, with Dick Boyce, +the ungrown gentleman, and two girl Boyces, who were fourteen and +fifteen years of age. Mrs Dale, with the amount of good-nature usual on +such occasions, asked reproachfully why Jane, and Charles, and +Florence, and Bessy, did not come--Boyce being a man who had his quiver +full of them--and Mrs Boyce, giving the usual answer, declared that she +already felt that they had come as an avalanche. + +"But where are the--the--the young men?" asked Lily, assuming a look of +mock astonishment. + +"They'll be across in two or three hours' time," said the squire. + +"They both dressed for dinner, and, as I thought, made themselves very +smart; but for such a grand occasion as this they thought a second +dressing necessary. How do you do, Mrs Hearn? I hope you are quite +well. No rheumatism left, eh?" This the squire said very loud into Mrs +Hearn's ear. Mrs Hearn was perhaps a little hard of hearing; but it was +very little, and she hated to be thought deaf. She did not, moreover, +like to be thought rheumatic. This the squire knew, and therefore his +mode of address was not good-natured. + +"You needn't make me jump so, Mr Dale. I'm pretty well now, thank ye. I +did have a twinge in the spring--that cottage is so badly built for +draughts! I wonder you can live in it,' my sister said to me the last +time she was over. I suppose I should be better off over with her at +Hamersham, only one doesn't like to move, you know, after living fifty +years in one parish." + +"You mustn't think of going away from us," Mrs Boyce said, speaking by +no means loud, but slowly and plainly, hoping thereby to flatter the +old woman. But the old woman understood it all. "She's a sly creature, +is Mrs Boyce," Mrs Hearn said to Mrs Dale, before the evening was out. +There are some old people whom it is very hard to flatter, and with +whom it is, nevertheless, almost impossible to live unless you do +flatter them. + +At last the two heroes came in across the lawn at the drawing-room +window; and Lily, as they entered, dropped a low curtsy before them, +gently swelling down upon the ground with her light muslin dress, till +she looked like some wondrous flower that had bloomed upon the carpet, +and putting her two hands, with the backs of her fingers pressed +together, on the buckle of her girdle, she said, "We are waiting upon +your honours' kind grace, and feel how much we owe to you for favouring +our poor abode." And then she gently rose up again, smiling, oh, so +sweetly, on the man she loved, and the puffings and swellings went out +of her muslin. + +I think there is nothing in the world so pretty as the conscious little +tricks of love played off by a girl towards the man she loves, when she +has made up her mind boldly that all the world may know that she has +given herself away to him. + +I am not sure that Crosbie liked it all as much as he should have done. +The bold assurance of her love when they two were alone together he did +like. What man does not like such assurances on such occasions? But +perhaps he would have been better pleased had Lily shown more +reticence--been more secret, as it were, as to her feelings, when others +were around them. It was not that he accused her in his thoughts of any +want of delicacy. He read her character too well--was, if not quite +aright in his reading of it, at least too nearly so to admit of his +making against her any such accusation as that. It was the calf-like +feeling that was disagreeable to him. He did not like to be presented, +even to the world of Allington, as a victim caught for the sacrifice, +and bound with ribbon for the altar. And then there lurked behind it +all a feeling that it might be safer that the thing should not be so +openly manifested before all the world. Of course, everybody knew that +he was engaged to Lily Dale; nor had he, as he said to himself, perhaps +too frequently, the slightest idea of breaking from that engagement. +But then the marriage might possibly be delayed. He had not discussed +that matter yet with Lily, having, indeed, at the first moment of his +gratified love, created some little difficulty for himself by pressing +for an early day. "I will refuse you nothing," she had said to him; +"but do not make it too soon." He saw, therefore, before him some +little embarrassment, and was inclined to wish that Lily would abstain +from that manner which seemed to declare to all the world that she was +about to be married immediately. "I must speak to her tomorrow," he +said to himself, as he accepted her salute with a mock gravity equal to +her own. + +Poor Lily! How little she understood as yet what was passing through +his mind. Had she known his wish she would have wrapped up her love +carefully in a napkin, so that no one should have seen it--no one but +he, when he might choose to have the treasure uncovered for his sight. +And it was all for his sake that she had been thus open in her ways. +She had seen girls who were half ashamed of their love; but she would +never be ashamed of hers or of him. She had given herself to him; and +now all the world might know it, if all the world cared for such +knowledge. Why should she be ashamed of that which, to her thinking, +was so great an honour to her? She had heard of girls who would not +speak of their love, arguing to themselves cannily that there may be +many a slip between the cup and the lip. There could be no need of any +such caution with her. There could surely be no such slip! Should there +be such a fall--should any such fate, either by falseness or misfortune, +come upon her--no such caution could be of service to save her. The cup +would have been so shattered in its fall that no further piecing of its +parts would be in any way possible. So much as this she did not exactly +say to herself; but she felt it all, and went bravely forward--bold in +her love, and careful to hide it from none who chanced to see it. + +They had gone through the ceremony with the cake and teacups, and had +decided that, at any rate, the first dance or two should be held upon +the lawn when the last of the guests arrived. + +"Oh, Adolphus, I am so glad he has come," said Lily. + +"Do try to like him." Of Dr Crofts, who was the new comer, she had +sometimes spoken to her lover, but she had never coupled her sister's +name with that of the doctor, even in speaking to him. Nevertheless, +Crosbie had in some way conceived the idea that this Crofts either had +been, or was, or was to be, in love with Bell; and as he was prepared +to advocate his friend Dale's claims in that quarter, he was not +particularly anxious to welcome the doctor as a thoroughly intimate +friend of the family. He knew nothing as yet of Dale's offer, or of +Bell's refusal, but he was prepared for war, if war should be +necessary. Of the squire, at the present moment, he was not very fond; +but if his destiny intended to give him a wife out of this family, he +should prefer the owner of Allington and nephew of Lord De Guest as a +brother-in-law to a village doctor--as he took upon himself, in his +pride, to call Dr Crofts. + +"It is very unfortunate," said he, "but I never do like Paragons." + +"But you must like this Paragon. Not that he is a Paragon at all, for +he smokes and hunts, and does all manner of wicked things." And then +she went forward to welcome her friend. + +Dr Crofts was a slight, spare man, about five feet nine in height, with +very bright dark eyes, a broad forehead, with dark hair that almost +curled, but which did not come so forward over his brow as it should +have done for purposes of beauty--with a thin well-cut nose, and a mouth +that would have been perfect had the lips been a little fuller. The +lower part of his face, when seen alone, had in it somewhat of +sternness, which, however, was redeemed by the brightness of his eyes. +And yet an artist would have declared that the lower features of his +face were by far the more handsome. + +Lily went across to him and greeted him heartily, declaring how glad +she was to have him there. + +"And I must introduce you to Mr Crosbie," she said, as though she was +determined to carry her point. The two men shook hands with each other, +coldly, without saying a word, as young men are apt to do when they are +brought together in that way. Then they separated at once, somewhat to +the disappointment of Lily. Crosbie stood off by himself, both his eyes +turned up towards the ceiling, and looking as though he meant to give +himself airs; while Crofts got himself quickly up to the fireplace, +making civil little speeches to Mrs Dale, Mrs Boyce, and Mrs Hearn. And +then at last he made his way round to Bell. + +"I am so glad," he said, "to congratulate you on your sister's +engagement." + +"Yes," said Bell; + +"We knew that you would be glad to hear of her happiness." + +"Indeed, I am glad; and thoroughly hope that she may be happy. You all +like him, do you not?" + +"We like him very much." + +"And I am told that he is well off. He is a very fortunate man--very +fortunate--very fortunate." + +"Of course we think so," said Bell. + +"Not, however, because he is rich." + +"No; not because he is rich. But because, being worthy of such +happiness, his circumstances should enable him to marry, and to enjoy +it." + +"Yes, exactly," said Bell. "That is just it." Then she sat down, and in +sitting down put an end to the conversation." That is just it," she had +said. But as soon as the words were spoken she declared to herself that +it was not so, and that Crofts was wrong. "We love him," she said to +herself, "not because he is rich enough to marry without anxious +thought, but because he dares to marry although he is not rich." And +then she told herself that she was angry with the doctor. + +After that Dr Crofts got off towards the door, and stood there by +himself, leaning against the wall, with the thumbs of both his hands +stuck into the armholes of his waistcoat. People said that he was a shy +man. I suppose he was shy, and yet he was a man that was by no means +afraid of doing anything that he had to do. He could speak before a +multitude without being abashed, whether it was a multitude of men or +of women. He could be very fixed too in his own opinion, and eager, if +not violent, in the prosecution of his purpose. But he could not stand +and say little words, when he had in truth nothing to say. He could not +keep his ground when he felt that he was not using the ground upon +which he stood. He had not learned the art of assuming himself to be of +importance in whatever place he might find himself. It was this art +which Crosbie had learned and by this art that he had flourished. So +Crofts retired and leaned against the wall near the door; and Crosbie +came forward and shone like an Apollo among all the guests. + +"How is it that he does it?" said John Eames to himself, envying the +perfect happiness of the London man of fashion. + +At last Lily got the dancers out upon the lawn, and then they managed +to go through one quadrille. But it was found that it did not answer. +The music of the single fiddle which Crosbie had hired from Guestwick +was not sufficient for the purpose; and then the grass, though it was +perfect for purposes of croquet, was not pleasant to the feet for +dancing. + +"This is very nice," said Bernard to his cousin." I don't know anything +that could be nicer; but perhaps--" + +"I know what you mean," said Lily. + +"But I shall stay here. There's no touch of romance about any of you. +Look at the moon there at the back of the steeple. I don't mean to go +in all night." Then she walked off by one of the paths, and her lover +went after her. + +"Don't you like the moon?" she said, as she took his arm, to which she +was now so accustomed that she hardly thought of it as she took it. + +"Like the moon?--well; I fancy I like the sun better. I don't quite +believe in moonlight. I think it does best to talk about when one wants +to be sentimental." + +"Ah; that is just what I fear. That is what I say to Bell when I tell +her that her romance will fade as the roses do. And then I shall have +to learn that prose is more serviceable than poetry, and that the mind +is better than the heart, and--and that money is better than love. It's +all coming, I know; and yet I do like the moonlight." + +"And the poetry--and the love?" + +"Yes. The poetry much, and the love more. To be loved by you is sweeter +even than any of my dreams--is better than all the poetry I have read." + +"Dearest Lily," and his unchecked arm stole round her waist. + +"It is the meaning of the moonlight, and the essence of the poetry," +continued the impassioned girl. + +"I did not know then why I liked such things, but now I know. It was +because I longed to be loved." + +"And to love." +"Oh, yes. I would be nothing without that. But that, you know, is your +delight--or should be. The other is mine. And yet it is a delight to +love you; to know that I may love you." + +"You mean that this is the realisation of your romance." + +"Yes; but it most not be the end of it, Adolphus. You most like the +soft twilight, and the long evenings when we shall be alone; and you +most read to me the books I love, and you most not teach me to think +that the world is hard, and dry, and cruel--not yet. I tell Bell so very +often; but you must not say so to me." + +"It shall not be dry and cruel, if I can prevent it." + +"You understand what I mean, dearest. I will not think it dry and +cruel, even though sorrow should come upon us, if you--I think you know +what I mean." + +"If I am good to you." + +"I am not afraid of that--I am not the least afraid of that. You do not +think that I could ever distrust you? But you must not be ashamed to +look at the moonlight, and to read poetry, and to--" + +"To talk nonsense, you mean." + +But as he said it, he pressed her closer to his side, and his tone was +pleasant to her. + +"I suppose I'm talking nonsense now?" she said, pouting." You liked me +better when I was talking about the pigs; didn't you?" + +"No; I like you best now." + +"And why didn't you like me then? Did I say anything to offend you?" + +"I like you best now, because--" + +They were standing in the narrow pathway of the gate leading from the +bridge into the gardens of the Great House, and the shadow of the +thick-spreading laurels was around them. But the moonlight still +pierced brightly through the little avenue, and she, as she looked up +to him, could see the form of his face and the loving softness of his +eye. + +"Because--," said he; and then he stooped over her and pressed her +closely, while she put up her lips to his, standing on tip-toe that she +might reach to his face. + +"Oh, my love!" she said. "My love! my love!" + +As Crosbie walked back to the Great House that night, he made a firm +resolution that no consideration of worldly welfare should ever induce +him to break his engagement with Lily Dale. He went somewhat further +also, and determined that he would not put off the marriage for more +than six or eight months, or, at the most, ten, if he could possibly +get his affairs arranged in that time. To be sure, he most give up +everything--all the aspirations and ambition of his life; but then, as +he declared to himself somewhat mournfully, he was prepared to do that. +Such were his resolutions, and, as he thought of them in bed, he came +to the conclusion that few men were less selfish than he was. + +"But what will they say to us for staying away?" said Lily, recovering +herself. + +"And I ought to be making the people dance, you know. Come along, and +do make yourself nice. Do waltz with Mary Eames--pray, do. If you don't, +I won't speak to you all night!" + +Acting under which threat, Crosbie did, on his return, solicit the +honour of that young lady's hand, thereby elating her into a seventh +heaven of happiness. What could the world afford better than a waltz +with such a partner as Adolphus Crosbie? And poor Mary Eames could +waltz well; though she could not talk much as she danced, and would +pant a good deal when she stopped. She put too much of her energy into +the motion, and was too anxious to do the mechanical part of the work +in a manner that should be satisfactory to her partner. "Oh! thank +you--it's very nice. I shall be able to go on again directly." Her +conversation with Crosbie did not get much beyond that, and yet she +felt that she had never done better than on this occasion. + +Though there were, at most, not above five couples of dancers, and +though they who did not dance, such as the squire and Mr Boyce, and a +curate from a neighbouring parish, had, in fact, nothing to amuse them, +the affair was kept on very merrily for a considerable number of hours. +Exactly at twelve o'clock there was a little supper, which, no doubt, +served to relieve Mrs Hearn's ennui, and at which Mrs Boyce also seemed +to enjoy herself. As to the Mrs Boyces on such occasions, I profess +that I feel no pity. They are generally happy in their children's +happiness, or if not, they ought to be. At any rate, they are simply +performing a manifest duty, which duty, in their time, was performed on +their behalf. But on what account do the Mrs Hearns betake themselves +to such gatherings? Why did that ancient lady sit there hour after hour +yawning, longing for her bed, looking every ten minutes at her watch, +while her old bones were stiff and sore, and her old ears pained with +the noise? It could hardly have been simply for the sake of the supper. +After the supper, + +However, her maid took her across to her cottage, and Mrs Boyce also +then stole away home, and the squire went off with some little parade, +suggesting to the young men that they should make no noise in the house +as they returned. But the poor curate remained, talking a dull word +every now and then to Mrs Dale, and looking on with tantalised eyes at +the joys which the world had prepared for others than him. I must say +that I think that public opinion and the bishops together are too hard +upon curates in this particular. + +In the latter part of the night's delight, when time and practice had +made them all happy together, John Eames stood up for the first time to +dance with Lily. She had done all she could, short of asking him, to +induce him to do her this favour; for she felt that it would be a +favour. How great had been the desire on his part to ask her, and, at +the same time, how great the repugnance, Lily, perhaps, did not quite +understand. And yet she understood much of it. She knew that he was not +angry with her. She knew that he was suffering from the injured pride +of futile love, almost as much as from the futile love itself. She +wished to put him at his ease in this; but she did not quite give him +credit for the full sincerity, and the upright, uncontrolled heartiness +of his feelings. + +At length he did come up to her, and though, in truth, she was engaged, +she at once accepted his offer. Then she tripped across the room. +"Adolphus," she said," I can't dance with you, though I said I would. +John Eames has asked me, and I haven't stood up with him before. You +understand, and you'll be a good boy, won't you?" + +Crosbie, not being in the least jealous, was a good boy, and sat +himself down to rest, hidden behind a door. + +For the first few minutes the conversation between Eames and Lily was +of a very matter-of-fact kind. She repeated her wish that she might see +him in London, and he said that of course he should come and call. Then +there was silence for a little while, and they went through their +figure dancing. + +"I don't at all know yet when we are to be married," said Lily, as soon +as they were again standing together. + +"No; I dare say not," said Eames. + +"But not this year, I suppose. Indeed, I should say, of course not." + +"In the spring, perhaps," suggested Eames. He had an unconscious desire +that it might be postponed to some Greek kalends, and yet he did not +wish to injure Lily. + +"The reason I mention it is this, that we should be so very glad if you +could be here. We all love you so much, and I should so like to have +you here on that day." + +Why is it that girls so constantly do this--so frequently ask men who +have loved them to be present at their marriages with other men? There +is no triumph in it. It is done in sheer kindness and affection. They +intend to offer something which shall soften and not aggravate the +sorrow that they have caused." You can't marry me yourself," the lady +seems to say. "But the next greatest blessing which I can offer you +shall be yours--you shall see me married to somebody else." I fully +appreciate the intention, but in honest truth, I doubt the eligibility +of the proffered entertainment. + +On the present occasion John Eames seemed to be of this opinion, for he +did not at once accept the invitation. + +"Will you not oblige me so far as that?" she said softly. + +"I would do anything to oblige you," said he gruffly; "almost anything." + +"But not that?" + +"No; not that. I could not do that." Then he went off upon his figure, +and when they were next both standing together, they remained silent +till their turn for dancing had again come. Why was it, that after that +night Lily thought more of John Eames than ever she had thought +before--felt for him, I mean, a higher respect, as for a man who had a +will of his own? + +And in that quadrille Crofts and Bell had been dancing together, and +they also had been talking of Lily's marriage. "A man may undergo what +he likes for himself," he had said, "but he has no right to make a +woman undergo poverty." + +"Perhaps not," said Bell. + +"That which is no suffering for a man--which no man should think of for +himself--will make a hell on earth for a woman." + +"I suppose it would," said Bell, answering him without a sign of +feeling in her face or voice. But she took in every word that he spoke, +and disputed their truth inwardly with all the strength of her heart +and mind, and with the very vehemence of her soul." As if a woman +cannot bear more than a man!" she said to herself, as she walked the +length of the room alone, when she had got herself free from the +doctor's arm. + +After that they all went to bed. + + + +CHAPTER X + +MRS LUPEX AND AMELIA ROPER + +I should simply mislead a confiding reader if I were to tell him that +Mrs Lupex was an amiable woman. Perhaps the fact that she was not +amiable is the one great fault that should be laid to her charge; but +that fault had spread itself so widely, and had cropped forth in so +many different places of her life, like a strong rank plant that will +show itself all over a garden, that it may almost be said that it made +her odious in every branch of life, and detestable alike to those who +knew her little and to those who knew her much. If a searcher could +have got at the inside spirit of the woman, that searcher would have +found that she wished to go right--that she did make, or at any rate +promise to herself that she would make, certain struggles to attain +decency and propriety. But it was so natural to her to torment those +whose misfortune brought them near to her, and especially that wretched +man who in an evil day had taken her to his bosom as his wife, that +decency fled from her, and propriety would not live in her quarters. + +Mrs Lupex was, as I have already described her, a woman not without +some feminine attraction in the eyes of those who like morning +negligence and evening finery, and do not object to a long nose +somewhat on one side. She was clever in her way, and could say smart +things. She could flatter also, though her very flattery had always in +it something that was disagreeable. And she must have had some power of +will, as otherwise her husband would have escaped from her before the +days of which I am writing. Otherwise, also, she could hardly have +obtained her footing and kept it in Mrs Roper's drawing-room. For +though the hundred pounds a year, either paid, or promised to be paid, +was matter with Mrs Roper of vast consideration, nevertheless the first +three months of Mrs Lupex's sojourn in Burton Crescent was not over +before the landlady of that house was most anxiously desirous of +getting herself quit of her married boarders. + +I shall perhaps best describe a little incident that had occurred in +Burton Crescent during the absence of our friend Eames, and the manner +in which things were going on in that locality, by giving at length two +letters which Johnny received by post at Guestwick on the morning after +Mrs Dale's party. One was from his friend Cradell, and the other from +the devoted Amelia. In this instance I will give that from the +gentleman first, presuming that I shall best consult my reader's wishes +by keeping the greater delicacy till the last. + +INCOME-TAX OFFICE, September 186-. + +MY DEAR JOHNNY--We have had a terrible affair in the Crescent; and I +really hardly know how to tell you; and yet I must do it, for I want +your advice. You know the sort of standing that I was on with Mrs +Lupex, and perhaps you remember what we were saying on the platform at +the station. I have, no doubt, been fond of her society, as I might be +of that of any other friend. I knew, of course, that she was a fine +woman; and if her husband chose to be jealous, I couldn't help that. +But I never intended anything wrong; and, if it was necessary, couldn't +I call you as a witness to prove it? I never spoke a word to her out of +Mrs Roper's drawing-room; and Miss Spruce, or Mrs Roper, or somebody +has always been there. You know he drinks horribly sometimes, but I do +not think he ever gets downright drunk. Well, he came home last night +about nine o'clock after one of these bouts. From what Jemima says +[Jemima was Mrs Roper's parlour-maid] I believe he had been at it down +at the theatre for three days. We hadn't seen him since Tuesday. He +went straight into the parlour and sent up Jemima to me, to say that he +wanted to see me. Mrs Lupex was in the room and heard the girl summon +me, and, jumping up, she declared that if there was going to be +bloodshed she would leave the house. There was nobody else in the room +but Miss Spruce, and she didn't say a word, but took her candle and +went upstairs. You must own it looked very uncomfortable. What was I to +do with a drunken man down in the parlour? However, she seemed to think +I ought to go." If he comes up here," said she," I shall be the victim. +You little know of what that man is capable, when his wrath has been +inflamed by wine?" Now, I think you are aware that I am not likely to +be very much afraid of any man; but why was I to be got into a row in +such a way as this? I hadn't done anything. And then, if there was to +be a quarrel, and anything was to come of it, as she seemed to +expect--like bloodshed, I mean, or a fight, or if he were to knock me on +the head with the poker, where should I be at my office? A man in a +public office, as you and I are, can't quarrel like anybody else. It +was this that I felt so much at the moment," Go down to him," said +she," unless you wish to see me murdered at your feet." Fisher says, +that if what I say is true, they must have arranged it all between +them. I don't think that; for I do believe that she really is fond of +me. And then everybody knows that they never do agree about anything. +But she certainly did implore me to go down to him. Well, I went down; +and, as I got to the bottom of the stairs, where I found Jemima, I +heard him walking up and down the parlour." Take care of yourself. Mr +Cradell," said the girl; and I could see by her face that she was in a +terrible fright. + +At that moment I happened to see my hat on the hall table, and it +occurred to mc that I ought to put myself into the hands of a friend. +Of course, I was not afraid of that man in the dining-room; but should +I have been justified in engaging in a struggle, perhaps for dear life, +in Mrs Roper's house? I was bound to think of her interests. So I took +up my hat, and deliberately walked out of the front door." Tell him," +said I to Jemima," that I'm not at home." And so I went away direct to +Fisher's, meaning to send him back to Lupex as my friend; but Fisher +was at his chess-club. + +As I thought there was no time to be lost on such an occasion as this. +I went down to the club and called him out. You know what a cool fellow +Fisher is. I don't suppose anything would ever excite him. When I told +him the story, he said that he would sleep upon it; and I had to walk +up and down before the club while he finished his game. Fisher seemed +to think that I might go back to Burton Crescent; but, of course I knew +that that would be out of the question. So it ended in my going home +and sleeping on his sofa, and sending for some of my things in the +morning. I wanted him to get up and see Lupex before going to the +office this morning. But he seemed to think It would be better to put +it off, and so he will call upon him at the theatre immediately after +office hours. + +I want you to write to me at once saying what you know about the +matter, I ask you, as I don't want to lug in any of the other people at +Roper's. It is very uncomfortable, as I can't exactly leave her at once +because of last quarter's money, otherwise I should cut and run; for +the house is not the sort of place either for you or me. You may take +my word for that, Master Johnny. And I could tell you another thing, +too about A.R., only I don't want to make mischief. But do you write +immediately. And now I think of it, you had better write to Fisher, so +that he can show your letter to Lupex--just saying, that to the best of +your belief there had never been anything between her and me but mere +friendship; and that, of course, you, as my friend, must have known +everything. Whether I shall go back to Roper's to-night will depend run +what Fisher says after the interview. + +Good-bye, old fellow! I hope you are enjoying yourself, and that L.D. +is quite well-- + +Your sincere friend, + +JOSEPH CRADELL + +John Eames read this letter over twice before he opened that from +Amelia. He had never yet received a letter from Miss Roper; and felt +very little of that ardour for its perusal which young men generally +experience on the receipt of a first letter from a young lady. The +memory of Amelia was at the present moment distasteful to him; and he +would have thrown the letter unopened into the fire, had he not felt it +might be dangerous to do so. As regarded his friend Cradell, he could +not but feel ashamed of him--ashamed of him, not for running away from +Mr Lupex, but for excusing his escape on false pretences. + +And then, at last, he opened the letter from Amelia. + +"Dearest John," it began; and as he read the words, he crumpled the +paper up between his fingers. It was written in a fair female hand, +with sharp points instead of curves to the letters, but still very +legible, and looking as though there were a decided purport in every +word of it. + +DEAREST JOHN--it feels so strange to me to write to you in such language +as this, And yet you are dearest, and have I not a right to call you +so? And are you not my own, and am not I yours? [Again he crunched the +paper up in his hand, and, as he did so, he muttered words which I need +not repeat at length. But still he went on with his letter.] I know +that we understand each other perfectly, and when that is the case, +heart should be allowed to speak openly to heart. Those are my +feelings, and I believe that you will find them reciprocal in your own +bosom. Is it not sweet to be loved? I find it so. And, dearest John, +let me assure you, with open candour, that there is no room for +jealousy in this breast with regard to you. I have too much confidence +for that, I can assure you, both in your honour and in my own--I would +say charms, only you would call me vain. You must not suppose that I +meant what I said about L. D. + +Of course, you wall be glad to see the friends of your childhood; and +it would be far from your Amelia's heart to begrudge you such +delightful pleasure. Your friends will. I hope, some day be any +friends. [Another crunch.] And if there be any one among them, any real +L. D. whom you have specially liked, I wall receive her to my heart, +specially also. [This assurance on the part of his Amelia was too much +for him, and he threw the letter from him, thinking whence he might get +relief--whether from suicide or from the colonies; but presently he took +it up again, and drained the bitter cup to the bottom.] And if I seemed +petulant to you before you went away, you must forgive your own Amelia. +I had nothing before me but misery for the month of your absence. There +is no one here congenial to my feelings--of course not. And you would +not wish me to be happy in your absence--would you? I can assure you, +let your wishes he what they may, I never can be happy again unless you +are with me. Write to me one little line, and tell me that you are +grateful to me for my devotion. + +And now, I must tell you that we have had a sad affair in the house; +and I do not think that your friend Mr Cradell has behaved at all well. +You remember how he has been always going on with Mrs Lupex. Mother was +quite unhappy about it, though she didn't like to say anything. Of +course, when a lady's name is concerned, it is particular. Bur Lupex +has become dreadful jealous during the last week, and we all knew that +something was coming. She is an artful woman, but I don't think she +meant anything bad--only to drive her husband to desperation. He came +here yesterday in one of his tantrums, and wanted to see Cradell; but +he got frightened, and took his hat and went off. Now, that wasn't +quite right. If he was innocent, why didn't he stand his ground and +explain the mistake? As mother says, it gives the house such a name. +Lupex swore last night that he'd be off to the Income Tax Office this +morning, and have Cradell out before the commissioners, and clerks, and +everybody. If he does that, it will get into the papers, and all London +will be full of it. She would like it. I know; for all she cares for is +to be talked about; but only thank what it will be for mother's house. +I wish you were here; for your high prudence and courage would set +everything right at once--at least, I think so. + +I shall count the minutes till I get an answer to this, and shall envy +the postman who will have your letter before it will reach me. Do write +at once. If I do not hear by Monday Morning I shall think that +something is the matter. Even though you are among your dear old +friends, surely you can find a moment to write to your own Amelia. + +Mother is very unhappy about this affair of the Lupexes. She says that +if you were here to advise her she should not mind it so much. It is +very hard upon her, for she does strive to make the house respectable +and comfortable for everybody. I would send my duty and love to your +dear mamma, if I only knew her, as I hope I shall do one day, and to +your sister, and to L. D. also, if you like to tell her how we are +situated together. So, now, no more from your + + Always affectionate sweetheart, + + AMELIA ROPER. + +Poor Eames did not feel the least gratified by any part of this fond +letter; but the last paragraph of it was the worst. Was it to be +endured by him that this woman should send her love to his mother and +to his sister, and even to Lily Dale! He felt that there was a +pollution in the very mention of Lily's name by such an one as Amelia +Roper. And yet Amelia Roper was, as she had assured him--his own. Much +as he disliked her at the present moment, he did believe that he +was--her own. He did feel that she had obtained a certain property in +him, and that his destiny in life would tie him to her. He had said +very few words of love to her at any time--very few, at least, that were +themselves of any moment; but among those few there had undoubtedly +been one or two in which he had told her that he loved her. And he had +written to her that fatal note! Upon the whole, would it not be as well +for him to go out to the great reservoir behind Guestwick, by which the +Hamersham Canal was fed with its waters, and put an end to his +miserable existence? + +On that same day he did write a letter to Fisher, and he wrote also to +Cradell. As to those letters he felt no difficulty. To Fisher he +declared his belief that Cradell was innocent as he was himself as +regarded Mrs Lupex. I don't think he is the sort of man to make up to a +married woman," he said, somewhat to Cradell's displeasure, when the +letter reached the Income-tax Office; for that gentleman was not averse +to the reputation for success in love which the little adventure was, +as he thoughts calculated to give him among his brother clerks. At the +first bursting of the shell, when that desperately jealous man was +raging in the parlour, incensed by the fumes both of wine and love, +Cradell had felt that the affair was disagreeably painful. But on the +morning of the third day--for he had passed two nights on his friend +Fisher's sofa--he had begun to be somewhat proud of it, and did not +dislike to hear Mrs Lupex's name in the mouths of the other clerks. +When, therefore, Fisher read to him the letter front Guestwick, he +hardly was pleased with his friend's tone. "Ha, ha, ha," said he, +laughing." That's just what I wanted him to say. Make up to a married +woman, indeed. No; I'm the last man in London to do that sort of thing." + +"Upon my word, Caudle, I think you are," said Fisher;" the very last +man." + +And then poor Cradell was not happy. On that afternoon he boldly went +to Burton Crescent, and ate his dinner there. Neither Mr nor Mrs Lupex +were to be seen, nor were their names mentioned to him by Mrs Roper. In +the course of the evening he did pluck up courage to ask Miss Spruce +where they were; but that ancient lady merely shook her head solemnly, +and declared that she knew nothing about such goings on--no, not she. + +But what was John Eames to do as to that letter from Amelia Roper? He +felt that any answer to it would be very dangerous, and yet that he +could not safely leave it unanswered. He walked off by himself across +Guestwick Common, and through the woods of Guestwick Manor, up by the +big avenue of elms in Lord De Guest's park, trying to resolve how he +might rescue himself from this scrape. Here, over the same ground, he +had wandered scores of times in his earlier years, when he knew nothing +beyond the innocence of his country home, thinking of Lily Dale, and +swearing to himself that she should be his wife. Here he had strung +together his rhymes, and fed his ambition with high hopes, building +gorgeous castles in the air, in all of which Lilian reigned as a queen; +and though in those days he had known himself to be awkward, poor, +uncared for by any in the world except his mother and his sister, yet +he had been happy in his hopes--happy in his hopes, even though he had +never taught himself really to believe that they would he realised. But +now there was nothing in his hopes or thoughts to make him happy. +Everything was black, and wretched, and ruinous. What would it matter, +after all, even if he should marry Amelia Roper, seeing that Lily was +to be given to another? But then the idea of Amelia as he had seen her +that night through the chink in the door came upon his memory, and he +confessed to himself that life with such a wife as that would be a +living death. + +At one moment he thought that he would tell his mother everything, and +leave her to write an answer to Amelia's letter. Should the worst come +to the worst, the Ropers could not absolutely destroy him. That they +could bring an action against him, and have him locked up for a term of +years, and dismissed from his office, and exposed in all the +newspapers, he seemed to know. That might all, however, be endured, if +only the gauntlet could be thrown down for him by some one else. The +one thing which he felt that he could not do was, to write to a girl +whom he had professed to love, and tell her that he did not love her. +He knew that he could not himself form such words upon the paper; nor, +as he was well aware, could he himself find the courage to tell her to +her face that he had changed his mind. He knew that he must become the +victim of his Amelia, unless he could find some friendly knight to do +battle in his favour; and then again he thought of his mother. + +But when he returned home he was as far as ever from any resolve to +tell her how he was situated. I may say that his walk had done him no +good, and that he had not made up his mind to anything. He had been +building those pernicious castles in the air during more than half the +time; not castles in the building of which he could make himself happy, +as he had done in the old days, but black castles, with cruel dungeons. +into which hardly a ray of life could find its way. In all these +edifices his imagination pictured to him Lily as the wife of Mr +Crosbie. He accepted that as a fact, and then went to work in his +misery, making her as wretched as himself, through the misconduct and +harshness of her husband. He tried to think, and to resolve what he +would do; but there is no task so hard as that of thinking, when the +mind has an objection to the matter brought before it. The mind, under +such circumstances, is like a horse that is brought to the water, but +refuses to drink. So Johnny returned to his home, still doubting +whether or no he would answer Amelia's letter. And if he did not answer +it, how would he conduct himself on his return to Burton Crescent? + +I need hardly say that Miss Roper, in writing her letter, had been +aware of all this, and that Johnny's position had been carefully +prepared for him by his affectionate sweetheart. + + + +CHAPTER XI + +SOCIAL LIFE + +Mr and Mrs Lupex had eaten a sweetbread together in much connubial +bliss on that day which had seen Cradell returning to Mrs Roper's +hospitable board. They had together eaten a sweetbread, with some other +delicacies of the season, in the neighbourhood of the theatre, and had +washed down all unkindness with bitter beer and brandy-and-water. But +of this reconciliation Cradell had not heard; and when he saw them come +together into the drawing-room, a few minutes after the question he had +addressed to Miss Spruce, he was certainly surprised. + +Lupex was not an ill-natured man nor one naturally savage by +disposition. He was a man fond of sweetbread and little dinners, and +one to whom hot brandy-and-water was too dear. Had the wife of his +bosom been a good helpmate to him, he might have gone through the +world, if not respectably, at any rate without open disgrace. But she +was a woman who left a man no solace except that to be found in +brandy-and-water. For eight years they had been man and wife; and +sometimes--I grieve to say it--he had been driven almost to hope that she +would commit a married woman's last sin, and leave him. In his misery, +any mode of escape would have been welcome to him. Had his energy been +sufficient he would have taken his scene--painting capabilities off to +Australia--or to the farthest shifting of scenes known on the world's +stage. But he was an easy, listless, self-indulgent man; and at any +moment, let his misery be as keen as might be, a little dinner, a few +soft words, and a glass of brandy-and-water would bring him round. The +second glass would make him the fondest husband living; but the third +would restore to him the memory of all his wrongs, and give him courage +against his wife or all the world--even to the detriment of the +furniture around him, should a stray poker chance to meet his hand. All +these peculiarities of his character were not, however, known to +Cradell; and when our friend saw him enter the drawing-room with his +wife on his arm, he was astonished. + +"Mr Cradell, your hand," said Lupex, who had advanced as far as the +second glass of brandy-and-water, but had not been allowed to go beyond +it. "There has been a misunderstanding between us; let it be forgotten." + +"Mr Cradell, if I know him," said the lady, "is too much the gentleman +to bear any anger when a gentleman has offered him his hand." + +"Oh, I'm sure," said Cradell, "I'm quite--indeed, I'm delighted to find +there's nothing wrong after all." And then he shook hands with both of +them; whereupon Miss Spruce got up, curtsyed low, and also shook hands +with the husband and wife. + +"You're not a married man, Mr Cradell," said Lurex, "and therefore you +cannot understand the workings of a husband's heart. There have been +moments when my regard for that woman has been too much for me." + +"Now, Lupex, don't," said she, playfully tapping him with an old +parasol which she still held. + +"And I do not hesitate to say that my regard for her was too much for +me on that night when I sent for you to the dining-room." + +"I'm glad it's all put right now," said Cradell. + +"Very glad, indeed," said Miss Spruce. + +"And, therefore, we need not say any more about it," said Mrs Lupex. + +"One word," said Lupex, waving his hand. "Mr Cradell, I greatly rejoice +that you did not obey my summons on that night. Had you done so--I +confess it now--had you done so, blood would have been the consequence. +I was mistaken. I acknowledge my mistake--but blood would have been the +consequence." + +"Dear, dear, dear," said Miss Spruce. + +"Miss Spruce," continued Lurex, "there are moments when the heart +becomes too strong for a man." + +"I dare say," said Miss Spruce. + +"Now, Lupex, that will do," said his wife. + +"Yes; that will do. But I think it right to tell Mr Cradell that I am +glad he did not come to me. Your friend, Mr Cradell, did me the honour +of calling on me at the theatre yesterday, at half-past four; but I was +in the slings then and could not very well come down to him. I shall be +happy to see you both any day at five, and to bury all unkindness with +a chop and glass at the Pot and Poker, in Bow Street. + +"I'm sure you're very kind," said Cradell. + +"And Mrs Lupex will join us. There's a delightful little snuggery +upstairs at the Pot and Poker; and if Miss Spruce will condescend to--" + +"Oh, I'm an old woman, sir." + +"No--no--no," said Lurex, "I deny that. Come, Cradell, what do you +say--just a snug little dinner for four, you know." + +It was, no doubt, pleasant to see Mr Lupex in his present mood--much +pleasanter than in that other mood of which blood would have been the +consequence: but pleasant as he now was, it was, nevertheless, apparent +that he was not quite sober. Cradell therefore, did not settle the day +for the little dinner; but merely remarked that he should be very happy +at some future day. + +"And now, Lupex, suppose you get off to bed," said his wife. "You've +had a very trying day, you know." + +"And you, ducky?" + +"I shall come presently. Now don't be making a fool of yourself, but +get yourself off. Come--"and she stood close up against the open door, +waiting for him to pass. + +"I rather think I shall remain where I am, and have a glass of +something hot," said he. + +"Lupex, do you want to aggravate me again?" said the lady, and she +looked at him with a glance of her eye which he thoroughly understood. +He was not in a humour for fighting, nor was he at present desirous of +blood; so he resolved to go. But as he went he prepared himself for new +battles. "I shall do something desperate--I am sure; I know I shall," he +said, as he pulled off his boots. + +"Oh, Mr Cradell," said Mrs Lupex as soon as she had closed the door +behind her retreating husband, "how am I ever to look you in the face +again after the events of these last memorable days?" And then she +seated herself on the sofa, and hid her face in a cambric handkerchief. + +"As for that," said Cradell," what does it signify--among friends like +us, you know?" + +"But that it should be known at your office, as of course it is, +because of the gentleman that went down to him at the theatre--I don't +think I shall ever survive it." + +"You see I was obliged to send somebody, Mrs Lupex." + +"I'm not finding fault, Mr Cradell. I know very well that in my +melancholy position I have no right to find fault, and I don't pretend +to understand gentlemen's feelings towards each other. But to have had +my name mentioned up with yours in that way is--Oh! Mr Cradell, I don't +know how I'm ever to look you in the face again." And again she buried +hers in her pocket-handkerchief. + +"Handsome is as handsome does." said Miss Spruce; and there was that in +her tone of voice which seemed to convey much hidden meaning. + +"Exactly so, Miss Spruce," said Mrs Lurex; "and that's my only comfort +at the present moment. Mr Cradell is a gentleman who would scorn to +take advantage--I'm quite sure of that." And then she did contrive to +look at him over the edge of the hand which held the handkerchief. + +"That I wouldn't, I'm sure," said Cradell. "That is to say--" + +And then he paused. He did not wish to get into a scrape about Mrs +Lupex. He was by no means anxious to encounter her husband in one of his +fits of jealousy. But he did like the idea of being talked of as the +admirer of a married woman, and he did like the brightness of the +lady's eyes. When the unfortunate moth in his semi-blindness whisks +himself and his wings within the flame of the candle, and finds himself +mutilated and tortured, he even then will not take the lesson, but +returns again and again till he is destroyed. Such a moth was poor +Cradell. There was no warmth to be got by him from that flame. There +was no beauty in the light--not even the false brilliance of unhallowed +love. Injury might come to him--a pernicious clipping of the wings, +which might destroy all power of future flight; injury, and not +improbably destruction, if he should persevere. But one may say that no +single hour of happiness could accrue to him from his intimacy with Mrs +Lupex. He felt for her no love. He was afraid of her, and, in many +respects, disliked her. But to him, in his moth-like weakness, +ignorance, and blindness, it seemed to be a great thing that he should +be allowed to fly near the candle. Oh! my friends, if you will but +think of it, how many of you have been moths, and are now going about +ungracefully with wings more or less burnt off, and with bodies sadly +scorched! + +But before Mr Cradell could make up his mind whether or no he would +take advantage of the present opportunity for another dip into the +flame of the candle--in regard to which proceeding, however, he could +not but feel that the presence of Miss Spruce was objectionable--the +door of the room was opened, and Amelia Roper joined the party. + +"Oh, indeed; Mrs Lupex," she said. "And Mr Cradell!" + +"And Miss Spruce, my dear," said Mrs Lupex, pointing to the ancient +lady. + +"I'm only an old woman," said Miss Spruce. + +"Oh, yes; I see Miss Spruce," said Amelia. "I was not hinting anything, +I can assure you." + +"I should think not, my dear," said Mrs Lupex. + +"Only I didn't know that you two were quite--That is, when last I heard +about it, I fancied--But if the quarrel's made up, there's nobody more +rejoiced than I am." + +"The quarrel is made up," said Cradell. + +"If Mrs Lupex is satisfied, I'm sure I am," said Amelia. + +"Mr Lupex is satisfied," said Mrs Lupex;" and let me tell you, my dear, +seeing that you are expecting to get married yourself--" + +"Mrs Lupex, I'm not expecting to get married--not particularly, by any +means." + +"Oh, I thought you were. And let me tell you, that when you've got a +husband of your own, you won't find it so easy to keep everything +straight. That's the worst of these lodgings if there is any little +thing, everybody knows it. Don't they, Miss Spruce?" + +"Lodgings is so much more comfortable than house-keeping," said Miss +Spruce, who lived rather in fear of her relatives, the Ropers. + +"Everybody knows it; does he?" said Amelia. "Why, if a gentleman will +come home at night tipsy and threaten to murder another gentleman in +the same house; and if a lady--" + +And then Amelia paused, for she knew that the line-of-battle ship which +she was preparing to encounter had within her much power of fighting. + +"Well, miss," said Mrs Lupex, getting on her feet, "and what of the +lady?" + +Now we may say that the battle had begun, and that the two ships were +pledged by the general laws of courage and naval warfare to maintain +the contest till one of them should be absolutely disabled, if not +blown up or sunk. And at this moment it might be difficult for a +bystander to say with which of the combatants rested the better chance +of permanent success. Mrs Lupex had doubtless on her side more matured +power, a habit of fighting which had given her infinite skill, a +courage which deadened her to the feeling of all wounds while the heat +of the battle should last, and a recklessness which made her almost +indifferent whether she sank or swam. But then Amelia carried the +greater guns, and was able to pour in heavier metal than her enemy +could use; and she, too, swam in her own waters. Should they absolutely +come to grappling and boarding, Amelia would no doubt have the best of +it; but Mrs Lupex would probably be too crafty to permit such a +proceeding as that. She was, however, ready for the occasion, and +greedy for the fight. + +"And what of the lady?" said she, in a tone of voice that admitted of +no pacific rejoinder. + +"A lady, if she is a lady," said Amelia, "will know how to behave +herself." + +"And you're going to teach me, are you, Miss Roper? I'm sure I'm ever +so much obliged to you. It's Manchester manners, I suppose, that you +prefer?" + +"I prefer honest manners, Mrs Lupex, and decent manners, and manners +that won't shock a whole house full of people and I don't care whether +they come from Manchester or London." + +"Milliner's manners, I suppose? + +"I don't care whether they are milliner's manners or theatrical, Mrs +Lupex, as long as they're not downright bad manners--as yours are, Mrs +Lupex. And now you've got it. What are you going on for in this way +with that young man, till you'll drive your husband into a madhouse +with drink and jealousy?" + +"Miss Roper! Miss Roper!" said Cradell; "now really--" + +"Don't mind her. Mr Cradell," said Mrs Lurex; "she's not worthy for you +to speak to. And as to that poor fellow Eames, if you've any friendship +for him, you'll let him know what she is. My dear, how's Mr Juniper, of +Grogram's house, at Salford? I know all about you, and so shall John +Eames, too--poor unfortunate fool of a fellow! Telling me of drink and +jealousy, indeed!" + +"Yes, telling you! And now you've mentioned Mr Juniper's name, Mr +Eames, and Mr Cradell too, may know the whole of it. There's been +nothing about Mr Juniper that I'm ashamed of." + +"It would be difficult to make you ashamed of anything, I believe." + +"But let me tell you this, Mrs Lupex, you're not going to destroy the +respectability of this house by your goings on." + +"It was a bad day for me when I let Lupex bring me into it." + +"Then pay your bill, and walk out of it," said Amelia, waving her hand +towards the door. "I'll undertake to say there shan't be any notice +required. Only you pay mother what you owe, and you're free to go at +once." + +"I shall go just when I please, and not one hour before. Who are you, +you gipsy, to speak to me in this way?" + +"And as for going, go you shall, if we have to call in the police to +make you." + +Amelia, as at this period of the fight she stood fronting her foe with +her arms akimbo, certainly seemed to have the best of the battle. But +the bitterness of Mrs Lupex's tongue had hardly yet produced its +greatest results. I am inclined to think that the married lady would +have silenced her who was single, had the fight been allowed to +rage--always presuming that no resort to grappling-irons took place. But +at this moment Mrs Roper entered the room, accompanied by her son, and +both the combatants for a moment retreated. + +"Amelia, what's all this?" said Mrs Roper, trying to assume a look of +agonised amazement. + +"Ask Mrs Lupex," said Amelia + +"And Mrs Lupex will answer," said that lady. "Your daughter has come in +here, and attacked me--in such language--before Mr Cradell too--" + +"Why doesn't she pay what she owes, and leave the house?" said Amelia. + +"Hold your tongue," said her brother. + +"What she owes is no affair of yours." + +"But it's an affair of mine, when I'm insulted by such a creature as +that." + +"Creature!" said Mrs Lurex. "I'd like to know which is most like a +creature! But I'll tell you, what it is, Amelia Roper--" + +Here, however, her eloquence was stopped, for Amelia had disappeared +through the door, having been pushed out of the room by her brother. +Whereupon Mrs Lupex, having found a sofa convenient for the service, +betook herself to hysterics. There for the moment we will leave her, +hoping that poor Mrs Roper was not kept late out of her bed. + +"What a deuce of a mess Eames will make of it if he marries that girl!" +Such was Cradell's reflection as he betook himself to his own room. But +of his own part in the night's transactions he was rather proud than +otherwise, feeling that the married lady's regard for him had been the +cause of the battle which had raged. So, likewise, did Paris derive +much gratification from the ten years' siege of Troy. + + + +CHAPTER XII + +LILIAN DALE BECOMES A BUTTERFLY + +And now we will go back to Allington. The same morning that brought to +John Eames the two letters which were given in the last chapter but +one, brought to the Great House, among others, the following epistle +for Adolphus Crosbie. It was from a countess, and was written on pink +paper, beautifully creamlaid and scented, ornamented with a coronet and +certain singularly-entwined initial. Altogether, the letter was very +fashionable and attractive, and Adolphus Crosbie was by no means sorry +to receive it. + +Courcy Castle, September 186-. + +My dear Mr Crosbie--We have heard of you from the Gazebees, who have +come down to us, and who tell us that you are rusticating at a charming +little village, in which, among other attractions, there are wood +nymphs and water nymphs, to whom much of your time is devoted. As this +is just the thing for your taste, I would not for worlds disturb you; +but if you should ever tear yourself away from the groves and fountains +of Allington, we shall be delighted to welcome you here, though you +will find us very unromantic after your late Elysium. + +Lady Dumbello is coming to us, who I know is a favourite of yours. Or +is it the other way, and are you a favourite of hers? I did ask Lady +Hartletop, but she cannot get away from the poor marquis, who is, you +know, so very infirm. The duke isn't at Gatherum at present, but, of +course, I don't mean that that has anything to do with dear Lady +Hartletop coming to us. I believe we shall have the house full, and +shall not want for nymphs either, though I fear they will not be of the +wood and water kind. Margaretta and Alexandrina particularly want you +to come, as they say you are so clever at making a houseful of people +go off well. If you can give us a week before you go back to manage the +affairs of the nation, pray do.--Yours very sincerely, + + Rosina de Courcy. + +The Countess de Courcy was a very old friend of Mr Crosbie's; that is +to say, as old friends go in the world in which he had been living. He +had known her for the last six or seven years, and had been in the +habit of going to all her London balls, and dancing with her daughters +everywhere, in a most good-natured and affable way. He had been +intimate, from old family relations, with Mr Mortimer Gazebee, who, +though only an attorney of the more distinguished kind, had married the +countess's eldest daughter, and now sat in Parliament for the city of +Barchester, near to which Courcy Castle was situated. And, to tell the +truth honestly at once, Mr Crosbie had been on terms of great +friendship with Lady de Courcy's daughters, the Ladies Margaretta and +Alexandrina--perhaps especially so with the latter, though I would not +have my readers suppose by my saying so that anything more tender than +friendship had ever existed between them. + +Crosbie said nothing about the letter on that morning; but during the +day, or, perhaps, as he thought over the matter in bed, he made up his +mind that he would accept Lady de Courcy's invitation. It was not only +that he would be glad to see the Gazebees, or glad to stay in the same +house with that great master in the high art of fashionable life, Lady +Dumbello, or glad to renew his friendship with the Ladies Margaretta +and Alexandrina. Had he felt that the circumstances of his engagement +with Lily made it expedient for him to stay with her till the end of +his holidays, he could have thrown over the De Courcys without a +struggle. But he told himself that it would be well for him now to tear +himself away from Lily; or perhaps he said that it would be well for +Lily that he should be torn away. He must not teach her to think that +they were to live only in the sunlight of each other's eyes during those +months, or perhaps years, which might elapse before their engagement +could be carried out. Nor must he allow her to suppose that either he or +she were to depend solely upon the other for the amusements and +employments of life. In this way he argued the matter very sensibly +within his own mind, and resolved, without much difficulty, that he +would go to Courcy Castle, and bask for a week in the sunlight of the +fashion which would he collected there. The quiet humdrum of his own +fireside would come upon him soon enough! + +"I think I shall leave you on Wednesday, sir," Crosbie said to the +squire at breakfast on Sunday morning. + +"Leave us on Wednesday!" said the squire, who had an old-fashioned idea +that people who were engaged to marry each other should remain together +as long as circumstances could be made to admit of their doing so. +"Nothing wrong, is there?" + +"Oh, dear, no! But everything must come to an end some day; and as I +must make one or two short visits before I get back to town, I might as +well go on Wednesday. Indeed, I have made it as late as I possibly +could." + +"Where do you go from here?" asked Bernard. + +"Well, as it happens, only into the next county--to Courcy Castle." And +then there was nothing more said about the matter at that +breakfast-table. + +It had become their habit to meet together on the Sunday mornings +before church, on the lawn belonging to the Small House, and on this +day the three gentlemen walked down together, and found Lily and Bell +already waiting for them. They generally had some few minutes to spare +on those occasions before Mrs Dale summoned them to pass through the +house to church, and such was the case at present. The squire at these +times would stand in the middle of the grass-plot, surveying his +grounds, and taking stock of the shrubs, and flowers, and fruit-trees +round him; for he never forgot that it was all his own, and would thus +use this opportunity, as he seldom came down to see the spot on other +days. Mrs Dale, as she would see him from her own window while she was +tying on her bonnet, would feel that she knew what was passing through +his mind, and would regret that circumstances had forced her to be +beholden to him for such assistance. But, in truth, she did not know +all that he thought at such times. "It is mine," he would say to +himself, as he looked around on the pleasant place. + +"But it is well for me that they should enjoy it. She is my brother's +widow, and she is welcome--very welcome," I think that if those two +persons had known more than they did of each other's hearts and minds +they might have loved each other better. + +And then Crosbie told Lily of his intention, "On Wednesday!" she said, +turning almost pale with emotion as she heard this news. He had told +her abruptly, not thinking, probably, that such tidings would affect +her so strongly. + +"Well, yes. I have written to Lady de Courcy and said Wednesday. It +wouldn't do for me exactly to drop everybody, and perhaps--" + +"Oh, no! And, Adolphus, you don't suppose I begrudge your going. Only +it does seem so sudden; does it not?" + +"You see, I've been here over six weeks." + +"Yes; you've been very good. When I think of it, what a six weeks it +has been! I wonder whether the difference seems to you as great as it +does to me. I've left off being a grub, and begun to be a butterfly." + +"But you mustn't be a butterfly when you're married, Lily." + +"No; not in that sense. But I meant that my real position in the +world--that for which I would fain hope that I was created--opened to me +only when I knew you and knew that you loved me. But mamma is calling +us, and we must go through to church. Going on Wednesday! There are +only three days more, then!" + +"Yes, just three days," he said, as he took her on his arm and passed +through the house on to the road. + +"And when are we to see you again?" she asked, as they reached the +churchyard. + +"Ah, who is to say that yet? We must ask the Chairman of Committees +when he will let me go again." Then there was nothing more said, and +they all followed the squire through the little porch and up to the big +family--pew in which they all sat. Here the squire took his place in one +special corner which he had occupied ever since his father's death, and +from which he read the responses loudly and plainly--so loudly and +plainly, that the parish clerk could by no means equal him, though with +tremulous voice he still made the attempt. "T' squire'd like to be +squire, and parson, and clerk, and everything; so a would," the poor +clerk would say, when complaining of the ill-usage which he suffered. + +If Lily's prayers were interrupted by her new sorrow, I think that her +fault in that respect would be forgiven. Of course she had known that +Crosbie was not going to remain at Allington much longer. She knew +quite as well as he did the exact day on which his leave of absence +came to its end, and the hour at which it behoved him to walk into his +room at the General Committee Office. She had taught herself to think +that he would remain with them up to the end of his vacation, and now +she felt as a schoolboy would feel who was told suddenly, a day or two +before the time, that the last week of his holidays was to be taken +from him. The grievance would have been slight had she known it from +the first; but what schoolboy could stand such a shock, when the loss +amounted to two-thirds of his remaining wealth? Lily did not blame her +lover. She did not even think that he ought to stay. She would not +allow herself to suppose that he could propose anything that was +unkind. But she felt her loss, and more than once, as she knelt at her +prayers, she wiped a hidden tear from her eyes. + +Crosbie also was thinking of his departure more than he should have +done during Mr Boyce's sermon. "It's easy listening to him," Mrs Hearn +used to say of her husband's successor. "It don't give one much trouble +following him into his arguments." Mr Crosbie perhaps found the +difficulty greater than did Mrs Hearn, and would have devoted his mind +more perfectly to the discourse had the argument been deeper. It is +very hard, that necessity of listening to a man who says nothing. On +this occasion Crosbie ignored the necessity altogether, and gave up his +mind to the consideration of what it might he expedient that he should +say to Lily before he went. He remembered well those few words which he +had spoken in the first ardour of his love, pleading that an early day +might be fixed for their marriage. And he remembered, also, how +prettily Lily had yielded to him. "Only do not let it be too soon," she +had said. Now he must unsay what he had then said, he must plead +against his own pleadings, and explain to her that he desired to +postpone the marriage rather than to hasten it--a task which, I presume, +must always be an unpleasant one for any man engaged to be married. "I +might as well do it at once," he said to himself, as he bobbed his head +forward into his hands by way of returning thanks fur the termination +of Mr Boyce's sermon. + +As he had only three days left, it was certainly as well that he should +do this at once. Seeing that Lily had no fortune, she could not in +justice complain of a prolonged engagement. That was the argument which +he used in his own mind. But he as often told himself that she would +have very great ground of complaint if she were left for a day +unnecessarily in doubt as to this matter. Why had he rashly spoken +those hasty words to her in his love, betraying himself into all manner +of scrapes, as a schoolboy might do, or such a one as Johnny Eames? +What an ass he had been not to have remembered himself and to have been +collected--not to have bethought himself on the occasion of all that +might be due to Adolphus Crosbie! And then the idea came upon him +whether he had not altogether made himself an ass in this matter. And +as he gave his arm to Lily outside the church-door, he shrugged his +shoulders while making that reflection. "It is too late now," he said +to himself; and than turned round and made some sweet little loving +speech to her. Adolphus Crosbie was a clever man; and he meant also to +be a true man--if only the temptations to falsehood might not be too +great for him. + +"Lily" he said to her, "will you walk in the fields after lunch?" + +Walk in the fields with him! Of course she would. There were only three +days left, and would she not give up to him every moment of her time, +if he would accept of all her moments? And then they lunched at the +Small House, Mrs Dale having promised to join the dinner-party at the +squire's table, The squire did not eat any lunch, excusing himself on +the plea that lunch in itself was a bad thing "He can eat lunch at his +own house," Mrs Dale afterwards said to Bell. "And I've often seen him +take a glass of sherry." While thinking of this. Mrs Dale made her own +dinner. If her brother-in-law would not eat at her board, neither would +she eat at his. + +And then in a few minutes Lily had on her hat, in place of that +decorous, church-going bonnet which Crosbie was wont to abuse with a +lover's privilege, feeling well assured that he might say what he liked +of the bonnet as long as he would praise the hat. "Only three days," +she said, as she walked down with him across the lawn at a quick pace. +But she said it in a voice which made no complaint--which seemed to say +simply this--that as the good time was to be so short, they must make +the most of it. And what compliment could be paid to a man so sweet as +that? What flattery could be more gratifying? All my earthly heaven is +with you; and now, for the delight of these immediately present months +or so, there are left to me but three days of this heaven! Come, then I +will make the most of what happiness is given to me. Crosbie felt it +all as she felt it, and recognised the extent of the debt he owed her. +"I'll come down to them for a day at Christmas, though it be only for a +day," he said to himself. Then he reflected that as such was his +intention, it might be well for him to open his present conversation +with a promise to that effect. + +"Yes, Lily; there are only three days left now. But I wonder whether--I +suppose you'll all be at home at Christmas?" + +"At home at Christmas?--of course we shall be at home. You don't mean to +say you'll come to us!" + +"Well; I think I will, if you'll have me," + +"Oh! that will make such a difference. Let me see. That will only be +three months. And to have you here on Christmas Day! I would sooner +have you then than on any other day in the year." + +"It will only be for one day, Lily. I shall come to dinner on Christmas +Eve, and must go away the day after." + +"But you will come direct to our house!" + +"If you can spare me a room." + +"Of course we can. So we could now. Only when you came, you know--" + +"When I came, I was the squire's friend and your cousin's rather than +yours. But that's all changed now." + +"Yes; you're my friend now--mine specially. I'm to be now and always +your own special, dearest friend--eh, Adolphus?" And thus she exacted +from him the repetition of the promise which he had so often given her. + +By this time they had passed through the grounds of the Great House and +were in the fields. "Lily," said he, speaking rather suddenly, and +making her feel by his manner that something of importance was to be +said; "I want to say a few words to you about--business." And he gave a +little laugh as he spoke the last word, making her fully understand +that he was not quite at his ease. + +"Of course I'll listen. And, Adolphus, pray don't be afraid about me. +What I mean is, don't think that I can't bear cares and troubles. I can +bear anything as long as you love me. I say that because I'm afraid I +seemed to complain about your going. I didn't mean to." + +"I never thought you complained, dearest. Nothing can be better than +you are at all times and in every year. A man would be very hard to +please if you didn't please him." + +"If I can only please you--" + +"You do please me in everything. Dear Lily, I think I found an angel +when I found you. But now about this business Perhaps I'd better tell +you everything." + +"Oh, yes, tell me everything." + +"But then you mustn't misunderstand me. And if I talk about money, you +mustn't suppose that it has anything to do with my love for you." + +"I wish for your sake that I wasn't such a little pauper." + +"What I mean to say is this, that if I seem to be anxious about money, +you must not suppose that that anxiety hears any reference whatever to +my affection for you. I should love you just the same, and look forward +just as much to my happiness in marrying you, whether you were rich or +poor. You understand that?" + +She did not quite understand him; but she merely pressed his arm, so as +to encourage him to go on. She presumed that he intended to tell her +something as to their future mode of life--something which he supposed +it might not be pleasant for her to hear, and she was determined to +show him that she would receive it pleasantly. + +"You know" said he, "how anxious I have been that our marriage should +not be delayed. To me, of course, it must be everything now to call you +my own as soon as possible." In answer to which little declaration of +love, she merely pressed his arm again, the subject being one on which +she had not herself much to say. + +"Of course I must be very anxious, but I find it not so easy as I +expected." + +"You know what I said, Adolphus. I said that I thought we had better +wait. I'm sure mamma thinks so. And if we can only see you now and +then--" + +"That will he a matter of course. But, as I was saying--Let me see. +Yes--all that waiting will be intolerable to me. It is such a bore for a +man when he has made up his mind on such a matter as marriage, not to +make the change at once, especially when he is going to take to himself +such a little angel as you are," and as he spoke these loving words, +his arm was again put round her waist;" but--and then he stopped. He +wanted to make her understand that this change of intention on his part +was caused by the unexpected misconduct of her uncle. He desired that +she should know exactly how the matter stood; that he had been led to +suppose that her uncle would give her some small fortune, that he had +seen disappointed, and had a right to feel the disappointment keenly; +and that in consequence of this blow to his expectations, he must put +off his marriage. But he wished her also to understand at the same time +that this did not in the least mar his love for her; that he did not +join her at all in her uncle's fault. All this he was anxious to convey +to her, but he did not know how to get it said in a manner that would +not be offensive to her personally, and that should not appear to +accuse himself of sordid motives. He had begun by declaring that he +would tell her all; but sometimes it is not easy, that task of telling +a person everything, There are things which will not get themselves +told. + +"You mean, dearest," said she, "that you cannot afford to marry at +once." + +"Yes; that is it. I had expected that I should be able, but--" + +Did any man in love ever yet find himself able to tell the lady whom he +loved that he was very much disappointed on discovering that she had +got no money? If so, his courage, I should say, was greater than his +love. Crosbie found himself unable to do it, and thought himself +cruelly used because of the difficulty. The delay to which he intended +to subject her was occasioned, as he felt, by the squire, and not by +himself. He was ready to do his part, if only the squire had been +willing to do the part which properly belonged to him. The squire would +not; and, therefore, neither could he--not as yet. Justice demanded that +all this should be understood but when he came to the telling of it, he +found that the story would not form itself properly. He must let the +thing go, and bear the injustice, consoling himself as best he might by +the reflection that he at least was behaving well in the matter. + +"It won't make me unhappy, Adolphus." + +"Will it not?" said he. "As regards myself, I own that I cannot bear +the delay with so much indifference." + +"Nay, my love; but you should not misunderstand me," she said, stopping +and facing him on the path in which they were walking. "I suppose I +ought to protest, according to the common rules, that I would rather +wait. Young ladies are expected to say so. If you were pressing me to +marry at once, I should say so, no doubt. But now, as it is, I will be +more honest. I have only one wish in the world, and that is, to be your +wife--to be able to share everything with you. The sooner we can be +together the better it will be--at any rate, for me. There; will that +satisfy you?" + +"My own, own Lily!" + +"Yes, your own Lily, You shall have no cause to doubt me, dearest. But +I do not expect that I am to have everything exactly as I want it. I +say again, that I shall not be unhappy in waiting. How can I be unhappy +while I feel certain of your love? I was disappointed just now when you +said that you were going so soon; and I am afraid I showed it. But +those little things are more unendurable than the big things." + +"Yes; that's very true." + +"But there are three more days, and I mean to enjoy them so much! And +then you will write to me: and you will come at Christmas. And next +year, when you have your holiday, you will come down to us again; will +you not? + +"You may be quite sure of that." + +"And so the time will go by till it suits you to come and take me. I +shall not be unhappy." + +"I, at any rate, shall be impatient." + +"Ah, men always are impatient. It is one of their privileges, I +suppose. And I don't think that a man ever has the same positive and +complete satisfaction in knowing that he is loved, which a girl feels. +You are my bird that I have shot with my own gun; and the assurance of +my success is sufficient for my happiness." + +"You have bowled me over, and know that I can't get up again." + +"I don't know about can't. I would let you up quick enough, if you +wished it." + +How he made his loving assurance that he did not wish it, never would +or could wish it, the reader will readily understand. And then he +considered that he might as well leave all those money questions as +they now stood. His real object had been to convince her that their +joint circumstances did not admit of an immediate marriage; and as to +that she completely understood him. Perhaps, during the next three +days, some opportunity might arise for explaining the whole matter to +Mrs Dale. At any rate, he had declared his own purpose honestly, and no +one could complain of him. + +On the following day they all rode over to Guestwick together--the all +consisting of the two girls, with Bernard and Crosbie. Their object was +to pay two visits--one to their very noble and highly exalted ally, the +Lady Julia de Guest: and the other to their humbler and better known +friend, Mrs Eames. As Guestwick Manor lay on their road into the town, +they performed the grander ceremony the first. The present Earl de +Guest, brother of that Lady Fanny who ran away with Major Dale, was an +unmarried nobleman, who devoted himself chiefly to the breeding of +cattle. And as he bred very good cattle, taking infinite satisfaction +in the employment, devoting all his energies thereto, and abstaining +from all prominently evil courses, it should be acknowledged that he +was not a bad member of society. He was a thorough-going old Tory, +whose proxy was always in the hand of the leader of his party; and who +seldom himself went near the metropolis, unless called thither by some +occasion of cattle-showing. He was a short, stumpy man, with red cheeks +and a round face; who was usually to be seen till dinner-time dressed +in a very old shooting coat, with breeches, gaiters, and very thick +shoes. He lived generally out of doors, and was almost as great in the +preserving of game as in the breeding of oxen, he knew every acre of +his own estate, and every tree upon it, as thoroughly as a lady knows +the ornaments in her drawing-room. There was no gap in a fence of which +he did not remember the exact bearings, no path hither or thither as to +which he could not tell the why and the wherefore. He had been in his +earlier years a poor man as regarded his income--very poor, seeing that +he was an earl. But he was not at present by any means an impoverished +man, having been taught a lesson by the miseries of his father and +grandfather, and having learned to live within his means. Now, as he +was going down the vale of years, men said that he was becoming rich, +and that he had ready money to spend--a position in which no Lord de +Guest had found himself for many generations back. His father and +grandfather had been known as spend-thrifts; and now men said that this +earl was a miser. + +There was not much of nobility in his appearance; but they greatly +mistook Lord de Guest who conceived that on that account his pride of +place was not dear to his soul. His peerage dated back to the time of +King John, and there were but three lords in England whose patents had +been conferred before his own. He knew what privileges were due to him +on behalf of his blood, and was not disposed to abate one jot of them. +He was not loud in demanding them. As he went through the world he sent +no trumpeters to the right or left, proclaiming that the Earl de Guest +was coming. When he spread his board for his friends, which he did but +on rare occasions, he entertained them simply with a mild, tedious, +old-fashioned courtesy. We may say that, if properly treated, the earl +never walked over anybody. But he could, if ill-treated, be grandly +indignant; and if attacked, could hold his own against all the world. +He knew himself to be every inch an earl, pottering about after his +oxen with his muddy gaiters and red cheeks, as much as though he were +glittering with stars in courtly royal ceremonies among his peers at +Westminster--ay, more an earl than any of those who use their nobility +for pageant purposes. Woe be to him who should mistake that old coat +for a badge of rural degradation! Now and again some unlucky wight did +make such a mistake, and had to do his penance very uncomfortably. + +With the earl lived a maiden sister, the Lady Julia. Bernard Dale's +father had, in early life, run away with one sister, but no suitor had +been fortunate enough to induce the Lady Julia to run with him, +Therefore she still lived, in maiden blessedness, as mistress of +Guestwick Manor; and as such had no mean opinion of the high position +which destiny had called upon her to fill. She was a tedious, dull, +virtuous old woman, who gave herself infinite credit for having +remained all her days in the home of her youth, probably forgetting, in +her present advanced years, that her temptations to leave it had not +been strong or numerous. She generally spoke of her sister Fanny with +some little contempt, as though that poor lady had degraded herself in +marrying a younger brother. She was as proud of her own position as was +the earl her brother, but her pride was maintained with more of outward +show and less of inward nobility. It was hardly enough for her that the +world should know that she was a De Guest, and therefore she had +assumed little pompous ways and certain airs of condescension which did +not make her popular with her neighbours. + +The intercourse between Guestwick Manor and Allington was not very +frequent or very cordial. Soon after the running away of the Lady +Fanny, the two families had agreed to acknowledge their connection with +each other, and to let it be known by the world that they were on +friendly terms. Either that course was necessary to them, or the other +course, of letting it he known that they were enemies. Friendship was +the less troublesome, and therefore the two families called on each +other from time to time, and gave each other dinners about once a year. +The earl regarded the squire as a man who had deserted his politics, +and had thereby forfeited the respect due to him as an hereditary land +magnate; and the squire was wont to belittle the earl as one who +understood nothing of the outer world. At Guestwick Manor Bernard was +to some extent a favourite. He was actually a relative, having in his +veins blood of the De Guests, and was not the less a favourite because +he was the heir to Allington, and because the blood of the Dales was +older even than that of the noble family to which he was allied. When +Bernard should come to be the squire, then indeed there might be +cordial relations between Guestwick Manor and Allington; unless, +indeed, the earl's heir and the squire's heir should have some fresh +cause of ill-will between themselves. + +They found Lady Julia sitting in her drawing-room alone, and introduced +to her Mr Crosbie in due firm. The fact of Lily's engagement was of +course known at the manor, and it was quite understood that her +intended husband was now brought over that he might be looked at and +approved. Lady Julia made a very elaborate curtsy, and expressed a hope +that her young friend might be made happy in that sphere of life to +which it had pleased God to call her. + +"I hope I shall, Lady Julia," said Lily, with a little laugh; "at any +rate I mean to try" + +"We all try, my dear, but many of us fail to try with sufficient energy +of purpose. It is only by doing our duty that we can hope to be happy, +whether in single life or in married." + +"Miss Dale means to be a dragon of perfection in the performance of +hers," said Crosbie. + +"A dragon!" said Lady Julia. "No; I hope Miss Lily Dale will never +become a dragon." And then she turned to her nephew. It may be as well +to say at once that she never forgave Mr Crosbie the freedom of the +expression which he had used. He had been in the drawing-room of +Guestwick Manor for two minutes only, and it did not become him to talk +about dragons. "Bernard," she said," I heard from your mother +yesterday. I am afraid she does not seem to be very strong." And then +there was a little conversation, not very interesting in its nature, +between the aunt and the nephew as to the general health of Lady Fanny. + +"I didn't know my aunt was so unwell" said Bell. + +"She isn't ill," said Bernard. "She never is ill; but then she is never +well." + +"Your aunt," said Lady Julia, seeming to put a touch of sarcasm into +the tone of her voice as she repeated the word--" + +"A very long time," said Crosbie, who was not accustomed to be left in +his chair silent. "You, Dale, at any rate, can hardly remember it." + +"But I can remember it," said Lady Julia, gathering herself up. "I can +remember when my sister Fanny was recognised as the beauty of the +country. It is a dangerous gift, that of beauty." + +"Very dangerous," said Crosbie. Then Lily laughed again, and Lady Julia +became more angry than ever. What odious man was this whom her +neighbours were going to take into their very bosom! But she had heard +of Mr Crosbie before, and Mr Crosbie also had heard of her. + +"By-the-by, Lady Julia," said he, "I think I know some very dear +friends of yours." + +"Very dear friends is a very strong word. I have not many very dear +friends." + +"I mean the Gazebees. I have heard Mortimer Gazebee and Lady Amelia +speak of you." + +Whereupon Lady Julia confessed that she did know the Gazebees. Mr +Gazebee, she said, was a man who in early life had wanted many +advantages, but still he was a very estimable person. He was now in +Parliament, and she understood that he was making himself useful. She +had not quite approved of Lady Amelia's marriage at the time, and so +she had told her very old friend Lady de Courcy; but"--And then Lady +Julia said many words in praise of Mr Gazebee, which seemed to amount +to this; that he was an excellent sort of man, with a full conviction +of the too great honour done to him by the earl's daughter who had +married him, and a complete consciousness that even that marriage had +not put him on a par with his wife's relations, or even with his wife. +And then it came out that Lady Julia in the course of the next week was +going to meet the Gazebees at Courcy Castle. + +"I am delighted to think that I shall have the pleasure of seeing you +there," said Crosbie. + +"Indeed!" said Lady Julia. + +"I am going to Courcy on Wednesday. That, I fear, will be too early to +allow of my being of any service to your ladyship." + +Lady Julia drew herself up, and declined the escort which Mr Crosbie +had seemed to offer. It grieved her to find that Lily Dale's future +husband was an intimate friend of her friend's and it especially +grieved her to find that he was now going to that friends house. It was +a grief to her, and she showed that it was. It also grieved Crosbie to +find that Lady Julia was to be a fellow guest with himself at Courcy +Castle; but he did not show it. He expressed nothing but smiles and +civil self-congratulation on the matter, pretending that he would have +much delight in again meeting Lady Julia; but, in truth, he would have +given much could he have invented any manoeuvre by which her ladyship +might have been kept at home. + +"What a horrid old woman she is," said Lily, as they rode back down the +avenue. "I beg your pardon, Bernard; for, of course, she is your aunt." + +"Yes; she is my aunt; and though I am not very fond of her, I deny that +she is a horrid old woman. She never murdered anybody, or robbed +anybody, or stole away any other woman's lover." + +"I should think not," said Lily. + +"She says her prayers earnestly, I have no doubt," continued Bernard, +"and gives away money to the poor, and would sacrifice tomorrow any +desire of her own to her brother's wish. I acknowledge that she is +ugly, and pompous, and that, being a woman, she ought not to have such +a long black beard on her upper lip." + +"I don't care a bit about her beard," said Lily. But why did she tell +me to do my duty? I didn't go there to have a sermon preached to me." + +"And why did she talk about beauty being dangerous? said Bell." Of +course, we all knew what she meant." + +"I didn't know at all what she meant," said Lily," and I don't know +now." + +"I think she's a charming woman, and I shall be especially civil to her +at Lady de Courcy's," said Crosbie. + +And in this way, saying hard things of the poor old spinster whom they +had left, they made their way into Guestwick, and again dismounted at +Mrs Eames's door. + + + +CHAPTER XII + +A VISIT TO GUESTWICK + +As the party from Allington rode up the narrow High Street of +Guestwick, and across the market square towards the small, respectable, +but very dull row of new houses in which Mrs Eames lived, the people of +Guestwick were all aware that Miss Lily Dale was escorted by her future +husband. The opinion that she had been a very fortunate girl was +certainly general among the Guestwickians, though it was not always +expressed in open or generous terms. "It was a great match for her," +some said, but shook their heads at the same time, hinting that Mr +Crosbie's life in London was not all that it should be, and suggesting +that she might have been more safe had she been content to bestow +herself upon some country neighbour of less dangerous pretensions. +Others declared that it was no such great match after all. They knew +his income to a penny, and believed that the young people would find it +very difficult to keep a house in London unless the old squire intended +to assist them. But, nevertheless, Lily was envied as she rode through +the town with her handsome lover by her side. + +And she was very happy. I will not deny that she had some feeling of +triumphant satisfaction in the knowledge that she was envied. Such a +feeling on her part was natural, and is natural to all men and women +who are conscious that they have done well in the adjustment of their +own affairs. As she herself had said, he was her bird, the spoil of her +own gun, the product of such capacity as she had in her, on which she +was to live, and, if possible, to thrive during the remainder of her +life. Lily fully recognised the importance of the thing she was doing, +and, in soberest guise, had thought much of this matter of marriage. +But the more she thought of it the more satisfied she was that she was +doing well. And yet she knew that there was a risk. He who was now +everything to her might die; nay, it was possible that he might be +other than she thought him to be; that he might neglect her, desert +her, or misuse her. But she had resolved to trust in everything, and, +having so trusted, she would not provide for herself any possibility of +retreat. Her ship should go out into the middle ocean, beyond all ken +of the secure port from which it had sailed; her army should fight its +battle with no hope of other safety than that which victory gives. All +the world might know that she loved him if all the world chose to +inquire about the matter. She triumphed in her lover, and did not deny +even to herself that she was triumphant. + +Mrs Eames was delighted to see them. It was so good in Mr Crosbie to +come over and call upon such a poor, forlorn woman as her, and so good +in Captain Dale; so good also in the dear girls, who, at the present +moment, had so much to make them happy at home at Allington! Little +things, accounted as bare civilities by others, were esteemed as great +favours by Mrs Eames. + +"And dear Mrs Dale? I hope she was not fatigued when we kept her up the +other night so unconscionably late?" Bell and Lily both assured her +that their mother was none the worse for what she had gone through; and +then Mrs Eames got up and left the room, with the declared purpose of +looking for John and Mary, but bent, in truth, on the production of +some cake and sweet wine which she kept under lock and key in the +little parlour. + +"Don't let's stay here very long," whispered Crosbie. + +"No, not very long," said Lily. "But when you come to see my friends +you mustn't be in a hurry, Mr Crosbie." + +"He had his turn with Lady Julia," said Bell "and we must have ours +now." + +"At any rate, Mrs Eames won't tell us to do our duty and to beware of +being too beautiful," said Lily. + +Mary and John came into the room before their mother returned; then +came Mrs Eames, and a few minutes afterwards the cake and wine arrived. +It certainly was rather dull, as none of the party seemed to be at +their ease. The grandeur of Mr Crosbie was too great for Mrs Eames and +her daughter, and John was almost silenced by the misery of his +position. He had not yet answered Miss Roper's letter, nor had he even +made up his mind whether he would answer it or no. And then the sight +of Lily's happiness did not fill him with all that friendly joy which +he should perhaps have felt as the friend of her childhood. To tell the +truth, he hated Crosbie, and so he had told himself; and had so told +his sister also very frequently since the day of the party. + +"I tell you what it is, Molly," he had said, "if there was any way of +doing it, I'd fight that man." + +"What; and make Lily wretched?" + +"She'll never be happy with him. I'm sure she won't. I don't want to do +her any harm, but yet I'd like to fight that man--if I only knew how to +manage it." + +And then he bethought himself that if they could both be slaughtered in +such an encounter it would be the only fitting termination to the +present state of things. In that way, too, there would be an escape +from Amelia, and, at the present moment, he saw none other. + +When he entered the room he shook hands with all the party from +Allington, but, as he told his sister afterwards, his flesh crept when +he touched Crosbie. Crosbie, as he contemplated the Eames family +sitting stiff and ill at ease in their own drawing-room chairs, made up +his mind that it would be well that his wife should see as little of +John Eames as might be when she came to London--not that he was in any +way jealous of her lover. He had learned everything from Lily--all, at +least, that Lily knew--and regarded the matter rather as a good joke. + +"Don't see him too often," he had said to her, "for fear he should make +an ass of himself." Lily had told him everything--all that she could +tell; but yet he did not in the least comprehend that Lily had, in +truth, a warm affection for the young man whom he despised. + +"Thank you, no," said Crosbie." I never do take wine in the middle of +the day." + +"But a bit of cake?" And Mrs Eames by her look implored him to do her +so much honour. She implored Captain Dale, also, but they were both +inexorable. I do not know that the two girls were at all more inclined +to eat and drink than the two men; but they understood that Mrs Eames +would be brokenhearted if no one partook of her delicacies. The little +sacrifices of society are all made by women, as are also the great +sacrifices of life. A man who is good for anything is always ready for +his duty, and so is a good woman always ready for a sacrifice. + +"We really must go now," said Bell, "because of the horses." And under +this excuse they got away. + +"You will come over before you go back to London, John?" said Lily, as +he came out with the intention of helping her mount, from which +purpose, however, he was forced to recede by the iron will of Mr +Crosbie. + +"Yes, I'll come over again--before I go. Good-bye." + +"Good-bye, John," said Bell. "Good-bye, Eames," said Captain Dale. +Crosbie, as he seated himself in the saddle, made the very slightest +sign of recognition, to which his rival would not condescend to pay any +attention. "I'll manage to have a fight with him in some way," said +Eames to himself as he walked back through the passage of his mother's +house. And Crosbie, as he settled his feet in the stirrups, felt that +he disliked the young man more and more. It would be monstrous to +suppose that there could be aught of jealousy in the feeling; and yet +he did dislike him very strongly, and felt almost angry with Lily for +asking him to come again to Allington. "I must put an end to all that," +he said to himself as he rode silently out of town. + +"You must not snub my friends, sir," said Lily, smiling as she spoke, +but yet with something of earnestness in her voice. They were out of +the town by this time, and Crosbie had hardly uttered a word since they +had left Mrs Eames's door. They were now on the high road, and Bell and +Bernard Dale were somewhat in advance of them. + +"I never snub anybody," said Crosbie, petulantly; "that is unless they +have absolutely deserved snubbing." + +"And have I deserved it? Because I seem to have got it," said Lily. + +"Nonsense, Lily. I never snubbed you yet, and I don't think it likely +that I shall begin. But you ought not to accuse me of not being civil +to your friends. In the first place I am as civil to them as my nature +will allow me to be. And, in the second place--" + +"Well; in the second place--? + +"I am not quite sure that you are very wise to encourage that young +man's friendship just at present." + +"That means, I suppose, that I am very wrong to do so?" + +"No, dearest, it does not mean that. If I meant so I would tell you so +honestly. I mean just what I say. There can, I suppose, be no doubt +that he has filled himself with some kind of romantic attachment for +you--a foolish kind of love which I don't suppose he ever expected to +gratify, but the idea of which lends a sort of grace to his life. When +he meets some young woman fit to be his wife he will forget all about +it, but till then he will go about fancying himself a despairing lover. +And then such a young man as John Eames is very apt to talk of his +fancies." + +"I don't believe for a moment that he would mention my name to any one." + +"But, Lily, perhaps I may know more of young men than you do." + +"Yes, of course you do." + +"And I can assure you that they are generally too well inclined to make +free with the names of girls whom they think that they like. You must +not be surprised if I am unwilling that any man should make free with +your name." + +After this Lily was silent for a minute or two. She felt that an +injustice was being done to her and she was not inclined to put up with +it, but she could not quite see where the injustice lay. A great deal +was owing from her to Crosbie. In very much she was bound to yield to +him, and she was anxious to do on his behalf even more than her duty. +But yet she had a strong conviction that it would not be well that she +should give way to him in everything. She wished to think as he thought +as far as possible, but she could not say that she agreed with him when +she knew that she differed from him. John Eames was an old friend whom +she could not abandon, and so much at the present time she felt herself +obliged to say. + +"But, Adolphus--" + +"Well, dearest? + +"You would not wish me to be unkind to so very old a friend as John +Eames? I have known him all my life, and we have all of us had a very +great regard for the whole family. His father was my uncle's most +particular friend." + +"I think, Lily, you must understand what I mean. I don't want you to +quarrel with any of them, or to be what you call unkind. But you need +not give special and pressing invitations to this young man to come and +see you before he goes back to London, and then to come and see you +directly you get to London. You tell me that he had some kind of +romantic idea of being in love with you--of being in despair because you +are not in love with him. It's all great nonsense, no doubt, but it +seems to me that under such circumstances you'd better--just leave him +alone." + +Again Lily was silent. These were her three last days, in which it was +her intention to be especially happy, but above all things to make him +especially happy. On no account would she say to him sharp words, or +encourage in her own heart a feeling of animosity against him, and yet +she believed him to be wrong; and so believing could hardly bring +herself to bear the injury. Such was her nature, as a Dale. And let it +be remembered that very many who can devote themselves for great +sacrifices, cannot bring themselves to the endurance of little +injuries. Lily could have given up any gratification for her lover, but +she could not allow herself to have been in the wrong, believing +herself to have been in the right. + +"I have asked him now, and he must come," she said. + +"But do not press him to come any more." + +"Certainly not, after what you have said, Adolphus. If he comes over to +Allington, he will see me in mamma's house, to which he has always been +made welcome by her. Of course I understand perfectly--" + +"You understand what, Lily?" + +But she had stopped herself, fearing that she might say that which +would be offensive to him if she continued. + +"What is it you understand, Lily?" + +"Do not press me to go on, Adolphus. As far as I can, I will do all +that you want me to do." + +"You meant to say that when you find yourself an inmate of my house, as +a matter of course you could not ask your own friends to come and see +you. Was that gracious?" + +"Whatever I may have meant to say, I did not say that. Nor in truth did +I mean it. Pray don't go on about it now. These are to be our last +days, you know, and we shouldn't waste them by talking of things that +are unpleasant. After all poor Johnny Eames is nothing to me; nothing, +nothing. How can any one be anything to me when I think of you?" + +But even this did not bring Crosbie back at once into a pleasant +humour. Had Lily yielded to him and confessed that he was right, he +would have made himself at once as pleasant as the sun in May. But this +she had not done. She had simply abstained from her argument because +she did not choose to be vexed, and had declared her continued purpose +of seeing Eames on his promised visit. Crosbie would have had her +acknowledge herself wrong, and would have delighted in the privilege of +forgiving her. But Lily Dale was one who did not greatly relish +forgiveness, or any necessity of being forgiven. So they rode on, if +not in silence, without much joy in their conversation. It was now late +on the Monday afternoon, and Crosbie was to go early on the Wednesday +morning. What if these three last days should come to be marred with +such terrible drawbacks as these! + +Bernard Dale had not spoken a word to his cousin of his suit, since +they had been interrupted by Crosbie and Lily as they were lying on the +bank by the ha-ha. He had danced with her again and again at Mrs Dale's +party, and had seemed to revert to his old modes of conversation +without difficulty. Bell, therefore, had believed the matter to be +over, and was thankful to her cousin, declaring within her own bosom +that the whole matter should be treated by her as though it had never +happened. To no one--not even to her mother, would she tell it. To such +reticence she bound herself for his sake, feeling that he would be best +pleased that it should be so. But now as they rode on together, far in +advance of the other couple, he again returned to the subject. + +"Bell," said he," am I to have any hope? + +"Any hope as to what, Bernard? + +"I hardly know whether a man is bound to take a single answer on such a +subject. But this I know, that if a man's heart is concerned, he is not +very willing to do so." + +"When that answer has been given honestly and truly--" + +"Oh, no doubt. I don't at all suppose that you were dishonest or false +when you refused to allow me to speak to you." + +"But, Bernard, I did not refuse to allow you to speak to me." + +"Something very like it. But, however, I have no doubt you were true +enough. But, Bell, why should it be so? If you were in love with any +one else I could understand it." + +"I am not in love with any one else." + +"Exactly. And there are so many reasons why you, and I should join our +fortunes together." + +"It cannot be a question of fortune, Bernard." + +"Do listen to me. Do let me speak, at any rate. I presume I may at +least suppose that you do not dislike me." + +"Oh, no." + +"And though you might not be willing to accept any man's hand merely on +a question of fortune, surely the fact that our marriage would be in +every way suitable as regards money should not set you against it. Of +my own love for you I will not speak further, as I do not doubt that +you believe what I say; but should you not question your own feelings +very closely before you determine to oppose the wishes of all those who +are nearest to you?" + +"Do you mean mamma, Bernard?" + +"Not her especially, though I cannot but think she would like a +marriage that would keep all the family together, and would give you an +equal claim to the property to that which I have." + +"That would not have a feather's-weight with mamma." + +"Have you asked her?" + +"No, I have mentioned the matter to no one." + +"Then you cannot know. And as to my uncle, I have the means of knowing +that it is the great desire of his life. I must say that I think some +consideration for him should induce you to pause before you give a +final answer, even though no consideration for me should have any +weight with you." + +"I would do more for you than for him--much more." + +"Then do this for me, Allow me to think that I have not yet had an +answer to my proposal; give me to this day month, to Christmas; till +any time that you like to name, so that I may think that it is not yet +settled, and may tell Uncle Christopher that such is the case." + +"Bernard, it would he useless." + +"It would at any rate show him that you are willing to think of it." + +"But I am not willing to think of it--not in that way. I do know my own +mind thoroughly, and I should be very wrong if I were to deceive you." + +"And you wish me to give that as your only answer to my uncle?" + +"To tell the truth, Bernard, I do not much care what you may say to my +uncle in this matter. He can have no right to interfere in the disposal +of my hand, and therefore I need not regard his wishes on the subject. +I will explain to you in one word what my feelings are about it. I +would accept no man in opposition to mamma's wishes; but not even for +her could I accept any man in opposition to my own. But as concerns my +uncle, I do not feel myself called on to consult him in any way on such +a matter." + +"And yet he is the head of our family." + +"I don't care anything about the family.--not in that way." + +"And he has been very generous to you all." + +"That I deny. He has not been generous to mamma. He is very hard and +ungenerous to mamma. He lets her have that house because he is anxious +that the Dales should seem to be respectable before the world; and she +lives in it, because she thinks it better for us that she should do so. +If I had my way, she should leave it tomorrow--or, at any rate, as soon +as Lily is married. I would much sooner go into Guestwick, and live as +the Eames do." + +"I think you are ungrateful, Bell." + +"No; I am not ungrateful. And as to consulting; Bernard--I should be +much more inclined to consult you than him about my marriage. If you +would let me look on you altogether as a brother, I should think little +of promising to marry no one whom you did not approve." + +But such an agreement between them would by no means have suited +Bernard's views. He had thought, some four or five weeks back, that he +was not personally very anxious for this match. He had declared to +himself that he liked his cousin well enough; that it would be a good +thing for him to settle himself; that his uncle was reasonable in his +wishes and sufficiently liberal in his offers; and that, therefore, he +would marry. It had hardly occurred to him as probable that his cousin +would reject so eligible an offer, and had certainly never occurred to +him that he would have to suffer anything from such rejection. He had +entertained none of that feeling of which lovers speak when they +declare that they are staking their all upon the hazard of a die, It +had not seemed to him that he was staking anything, as he gently told +his tale of languid love, lying on the turf by the ha-ha. He had not +regarded the possibility of disappointment, of sorrow, and of a +deeply-vexed mind. He would have felt but little triumph if accepted, +and had not thought that he could be humiliated by any rejection. In +this frame of mind he had gone to his work; but now he found, to his +own surprise, that this girl's answer had made him absolutely unhappy. +Having expressed a wish for this thing, the very expression of the wish +made him long to possess it. He found, as he rode along silently by her +side, that he was capable of more earnestness of desire than he had +known himself to possess. He was at this moment unhappy, disappointed, +anxious, distrustful of the future, and more intent on one special toy +than he had ever been before, even as a boy. He was vexed, and felt +himself to be sore at heart. He looked round at her, as she sat silent, +quiet, and somewhat sad upon her pony, and declared to himself that she +was very beautiful--that she was a thing to be gained if still there +might he the possibility of gaining her. He felt that he really loved +her, and yet he was almost angry with himself for so feeling. Why had +he subjected himself to this numbing weakness? His love had never given +him any pleasure. Indeed he had never hitherto acknowledged it; but now +he was driven to do so on finding it to be the source of trouble and +pain. I think it is open to us to doubt whether, even yet, Bernard Dale +was in love with his cousin; whether he was not rather in love with his +own desire. But against himself he found a verdict that he was in love, +and was angry with himself and with all the world. + +"Ah, Bell," he said, coming close up to her, "I wish you could +understand how I love you." And, as he spoke, his cousin unconsciously +recognised more of affection in his tone, and less of that spirit of +bargaining which had seemed to pervade all his former pleas, than she +had ever found before. + +"And do I not love you? Have I not offered to be to you in all respects +as a sister?" + +"That is nothing. Such an offer to me now is simply laughing at me. +Bell, I tell you what--I will not give you up. The fact is, you do not +know me yet--not know me as you must know any man before you choose him +for your husband. You and Lily are not alike in this. You are cautious, +doubtful of yourself, and perhaps, also, somewhat doubtful of others. +My heart is set upon this, and I shall still try to succeed." + +"Ah, Bernard, do not say that! Believe me, when I tell you that it can +never be." + +"No; I will not believe you. I will not allow myself to be made utterly +wretched. I tell you fairly that I will not believe you. I may surely +hope if I choose to hope. No, Bell, I will never give you up--unless, +indeed, I should see you become another man's wife." + +As he said this, they all turned in through the squire's gate, and rode +up to the yard in which it was their habit to dismount from their +horses. + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +JOHN EAMES TAKES A WALK + +John Eames watched the party of cavaliers as they rode away from his +mother's door, and then started upon a solitary walk, as soon as the +noise of the horses' hoofs had passed away out of the street. He was by +no means happy in his mind as he did so. Indeed, he was overwhelmed +with care and trouble, and as he went along very gloomy thoughts passed +through his mind. Had he not better go to Australia, or Vancouver's +Island, or--? I will not name the places which the poor fellow suggested +to himself as possible terminations of the long journeys which he might +not improbably be called upon to take. That very day, just before the +Dales had come in, he had received a second letter from his darling +Amelia, written very closely upon the heels of the first. Why had he +not answered her? Was he ill? Was he untrue? No; she would not believe +that, and therefore fell back upon the probability of his illness. If +it was so, she would rush down to see him. Nothing on earth should keep +her from the bedside of her betrothed. If she did not get an answer +from her beloved John by return of post, she would be down with him at +Guestwick by the express train. Here was a position for such a young +man as John Eames! And of Amelia Roper we may say that she was a young +woman who would not give up her game, as long as the least chance +remained of her winning it. "I must go somewhere," John said to +himself, as he put on his slouched hat and wandered forth through the +back streets of Guestwick. What would his mother say when she heard of +Amelia Roper? What would she say when she saw her? + +He walked away towards the Manor, so that he might roam about the +Guestwick woods in solitude. There was a path with a stile, leading off +from the high road, about half a mile beyond the lodges through which +the Dales had ridden up to the house, and by this path John Eames +turned in, and went away till he had left the Manor house behind him, +and was in the centre of the Guestwick woods. He knew the whole ground +well, having roamed there ever since he was first allowed to go forth +upon his walks alone. He had thought of Lily Dale by the hour together, +as he had lost himself among the oak-trees; but in those former days he +had thought of her with some pleasure. Now he could only think of her +as of one gone from him for ever; and then he had also to think of her +whom he had taken to himself in Lily's place. + +Young men, very young men--men so young that it may be almost a question +whether or no they have as yet reached their manhood--are more inclined +to be earnest and thoughtful when alone than they ever are when with +others, even though those others be their elders. I fancy that, as we +grow old ourselves, we are apt to forget that it was so with us; and, +forgetting it, we do not believe that it is so with our children. We +constantly talk of the thoughtlessness of youth. I do not know whether +we might not more appropriately speak of its thoughtfulness. It is, +however, no doubt, true that thought will not at once produce wisdom. +It may almost be a question whether such wisdom as many of us have in +our mature years has not come from the dying out of the power of +temptation, rather than as the results of thought and resolution. Men, +full fledged and at their work, are, for the most part, too busy for +much thought; but lads, on whom the work of the world has not yet +fallen with all its pressure--they have time for thinking. + +And thus John Eames was thoughtful. They who knew him best accounted +him to be a gay, good-hearted, somewhat reckless young man, open to +temptation, but also open to good impressions; as to whom no great +success could be predicated, but of whom his friends might fairly hope +that he might so live as to bring upon them no disgrace and not much +trouble. But, above all things, they would have called him thoughtless. +In so calling him, they judged him wrong. He was ever thinking--thinking +much of the world as it appeared to him, and of himself as he appeared +to the world; and thinking, also, of things beyond the world. What was +to be his fate here and hereafter? Lily Dale was gone from him, and +Amelia Roper was hanging round his neck like a millstone! What, under +such circumstances, was to be his fate here and hereafter? + +We may say that the difficulties in his way were not as yet very great. +As to Lily, indeed, he had no room for hope; but, then, his love for +Lily had, perhaps, been a sentiment rather than a passion. Most young +men have to go through that disappointment, and are enabled to bear it +without much injury to their prospects or happiness. And in after-life +the remembrance of such love is a blessing rather than a curse, +enabling the possessor of it to feel that in those early days there was +something within him of which he had no cause to be ashamed. I do not +pity John Eames much in regard to Lily Dale. And then, as to Amelia +Roper--had he achieved but a tithe of that lady's experience in the +world, or possessed a quarter of her audacity, surely such a difficulty +as that need not have stood much in his way! What could Amelia do to +him if he fairly told her that he was not minded to marry her? In very +truth he had never promised to do so. He was in no way bound to her, +not even by honour. Honour, indeed, with such as her! But men are +cowards before women until they become tyrants; and are easy dupes, +till of a sudden they recognise the fact that it is pleasanter to be +the victimiser than the victim--and as easy. There are men, indeed, who +never learn the latter lesson. + +But, though the cause for fear was so slight, poor John Eames was +thoroughly afraid. Little things which, in connection with so deep a +sorrow as his, it is almost ridiculous to mention, added to his +embarrassments, and made an escape from them seem to him to be +impossible. He could not return to London without going to Burton +Crescent, because his clothes were there, and because he owed to Mrs +Roper some small sum of money which on his return to London he would +not have immediately in his pocket. He must therefore meet Amelia, and +he knew that he had not the courage to tell a girl, face to face, that +he did not love her, after he had once been induced to say that he did +do so. His boldest conception did not go beyond the writing of a letter +in which he would renounce her, and removing himself altogether from +that quarter of the town in which Burton Crescent was situated. But +then about his clothes, and that debt of his? And what if Amelia should +in the meantime come down to Guestwick and claim him? Could he in his +mother's presence declare that she had no right to make such claim? The +difficulties, in truth, were not very great, but they were too heavy +for that poor young clerk from the Income-tax Office. + +You will declare that he must have been a fool and a coward. Yet he +could read and understand Shakespeare. He knew much--by far too much--of +Byron's poetry by heart. He was a deep critic, often writing down his +criticisms in a lengthy journal which he kept. He could write quickly, +and with understanding; and I may declare that men at his office had +already ascertained that he was no fool. He knew his business, and +could do it--as many men failed to do who were much less foolish before +the world. And as to that matter of cowardice, he would have thought it +the greatest blessing in the world to be shut up in a room with +Crosbie, having permission to fight with him till one of them should +have been brought by stress of battle to give up his claim to Lily +Dale. Eames was no coward. He feared no man on earth. But he was +terribly afraid of Amelia Roper. + +He wandered about through the old Manor woods very ill at ease. The +post from Guestwick went out at seven, and he must at once make up his +mind whether or no he would write to Amelia on that day. He must also +make up his mind as to what he would say to her. He felt that he should +at least answer her letter, let his answer be what it might, Should he +promise to marry her--say, in ten or twelve years' time? Should he tell +her that he was a blighted being, unfit for love, and with humility +entreat of her that he might be excused? Or should he write to her +mother, telling her that Burton Crescent would not suit him any longer, +promising her to send the balance on receipt of his next payment, and +asking her to send his clothes in a bundle to the Income-tax Office? Or +should he go home to his own mother, and boldly tell it all to her? + +He at last resolved that he must write the letter, and as he composed +it in his mind he sat himself down beneath an old tree which stood on a +spot at which many of the forest tracks met and crossed each other. The +letter, as he framed it here, was not a bad letter, if only he could +have got it written and posted. Every word of it he chose with +precision, and in his mind he emphasised every expression which told +his mind clearly and justified his purpose." He acknowledged himself to +have been wrong in misleading his correspondent, and allowing her to +imagine that she possessed his heart. He had not a heart at her +disposal. He had been weak not to write to her before, having been +deterred from doing so by the fear of giving her pain; but now he felt +that he was bound in honour to tell her the truth. Having so told her, +he would not return to Burton Crescent, if it would pain her to see him +there. He would always have a deep regard for her,"--Oh, Johnny!-- +"and would hope anxiously that her welfare in life might be complete." +That was the letter, as he wrote it on the tablets of his mind under +the tree; but the getting it put on to paper was a task, as he knew, of +greater difficulty. Then, as he repeated it to himself, he fell asleep. + +"Young man," said a voice in his ear as he slept. At first the voice +spoke as a voice from his dream without waking him, but when it was +repeated, he sat up and saw that a stout gentleman was standing over +him. For a moment he did not know where he was, or how he had come +there; nor could he recollect, as he saw the trees about him, hew long +he had been in the wood. But he knew the stout gentleman well enough, +though he had not seen him for more than two years." Young man," said +the voice, "if you want to catch rheumatism, that's the way to do it. +Why, it's young Eames, isn't it? + +"Yes, my lord," said Johnny, raising himself up so that he was now +sitting, instead of lying, as he looked up into the earl's rosy face. + +"I knew your father, and a very good man he was; only he shouldn't have +taken to farming. People think they can farm without learning the +trade, but that's a very great mistake. I can farm, because I've +learned it. Don't you think you'd better get up?" Whereupon Johnny +raised himself to Ins feet." Not but what you're very welcome to lie +there if you like it. Only, in October, you know--" + +"I'm afraid I'm trespassing, my lord," said Eames." I came in off the +path, and--" + +"You're welcome; you're very welcome. If you'll come up to the house, +I'll give you some luncheon." This hospitable offer, however, Johnny +declined, alleging that it was late, and that he was going home to +dinner. + +"Come along," said the earl. "You can't go any shorter way than by the +house. Dear, dear, how well I remember your father. He was a much +cleverer man than I am--very much; but he didn't knew how to send a +beast to market any better than a child. By-the-by, they have put you +into a public office, haven't they? + +"Yes, my lord." + +"And a very good thing, too--a very good thing, indeed. But why were you +asleep in the wood? It isn't warm, you know. I call it rather cold." +And the earl stopped, and looked at him, scrutinising him, as though +resolved to inquire into so deep a mystery. + +"I was taking a walk, and thinking of something, I sat down." + +"Leave of absence, I suppose?" + +"Yes, my lord." + +"Have you got into trouble? You look as though you were in trouble. +Your poor father used to be in trouble." + +"I haven't taken to farming," said Johnny, with an attempt at a smile. + +"Ha, ha, ha--quite right. No, don't take to farming. Unless you learn +it, you know, you might just as well take to shoemaking--just the same. +You haven't got into trouble, then; eh? + +"No, my lord, not particularly." + +"Not particularly! I knew very well that young men do get into trouble +when they get up to London. If you want any--any advice, or that sort of +thing, you may come to me; for I knew your father well. Do you like +shooting? + +"I never did shoot anything." + +"Well perhaps better not. To tell the truth, I'm not very fond of young +men who take to shooting without having anything to shoot at. +By-the-by, now I think of it, I'll send your mother some game." It may, +however, here be fair to mention that game very often came from +Guestwick Manor to Mrs Eames. "And look here, cold pheasant for +breakfast is the best thing I know of. Pheasants at dinner are +rubbish--mere rubbish. Here we are at the house. Will you come in and +have a glass of wine?" + +But this John Eames declined, pleasing the earl better by doing so than +he would have done by accepting it. Not that the lord was inhospitable +or insincere in his offer, but he preferred that such a one as John +Eames should receive his proffered familiarity without too much +immediate assurance. He felt that Eames was a little in awe of his +companion's rank, and he liked him the better for it. He liked him the +better for it, and was a man apt to remember his likings. "If you won't +come in, Good-bye," and he gave Johnny his hand. + +"Good-evening, my lord," said Johnny. + +"And remember this; it is the deuce of a thing to have rheumatism in +your loins. I wouldn't go to sleep under a tree, if I were you--not in +October. But you're always welcome to go anywhere about the place." + +"Thank you, my lord." + +"And if you should take to shooting--but I dare say you won't; and if +you come to trouble, and want advice, or that sort of thing, write to +me. I knew your father well." And so they parted, Eames returning on +his road towards Guestwick. + +For some reason, which he could not define, he felt better after his +interview with the earl. There had been something about the fat, +good-natured, sensible old man, which had cheered him, in spite of his +sorrow. "Pheasants for dinner are rubbish--mere rubbish," he said to +himself, over and over again, as he went along the road; and they were +the first words which he spoke to his mother, after entering the house. + +"I wish we had some of that sort of rubbish," said she. + +"So you will, tomorrow"; and then he described to her his interview. + +"The earl was, at any rate, quite right about lying upon the ground. I +wonder you can be so foolish. And he is right about your poor father +too. But you have got to change your boots; and we shall be ready for +dinner almost immediately." + +But Johnny Eames, before he sat down to dinner, did write his letter to +Amelia, and did go out to post it with his own hands--much to his +mother's annoyance. But the letter would not get itself written in that +strong and appropriate language which had come to him as he was roaming +through the woods. It was a bald letter, and somewhat cowardly withal. + +DEAR AMELIA (the letter ran)--I have received both of yours; and did not +answer the first because I felt that there was a difficulty in +expressing what I wish to say; and now it will be better that you +should allow the subject to stand over till I am back in town. I shall +be there in ten days from this. I have been quite well, and am so; but +of course am much obliged by your inquiries. I know you will think this +very cold; but when I tell you everything, you will agree with me that +it is best. If I were to marry, I know that we should be unhappy, +because we should have nothing to live on. If I have ever said anything +to deceive you, I beg your pardon with all my heart--but perhaps it will +be better to let the subject remain till we shall meet again in London. + +Believe me to be + +Your most sincere friend, + +And I may say admirer--[Oh, John Eames!] + +JOHN EAMES. + + + +CHAPTER XV + +THE LAST DAY + +Last days are wretched days; and so are last moments wretched moments. +It is not the fact that the parting is coming which makes these days +and moments so wretched, but the feeling that something special is +expected from them, which something they always fail to produce. +Spasmodic periods of pleasure, of affection, or even of study, seldom +fail of disappointment when premeditated. When last days are coming, +they should be allowed to come and to glide away without special notice +or mention. And as for last moments, there should be none such. Let +them ever be ended, even before their presence has been acknowledged. + +But Lily Dale had not yet been taught these lessons by her world's +experience, and she expected that this sweetest cup of which she had +ever drank should go on being sweet--sweeter and still sweeter--as long +as she could press it to her lips. How the dregs had come to mix +themselves with the last drops we have already seen; and on that same +day--on the Monday evening--the bitter task still remained; for Crosbie, +as they walked about through the gardens in the evening, found other +subjects on which he thought it necessary to give her sundry hints, +intended for her edification, which came to her with much of the savour +of a lecture. A girl, when she is thoroughly in love, as surely was the +case with Lily, likes to receive hints as to her future life from the +man to whom she is devoted; but she would, I think, prefer that such +hints should be short, and that the lesson should be implied rather +than declared--that they should, in fact, be hints and not lectures. +Crosbie, who was a man of tact, who understood the world and had been +dealing with women for many years, no doubt understood all this as well +as we do. But he had come to entertain a notion that he was an injured +man, that he was giving very much more than was to be given to him, and +that therefore he was entitled to take liberties which might not fairly +be within the reach of another lover. My reader will say that in all +this he was ungenerous. Well; he was ungenerous. I do not know that I +have ever said that much generosity was to be expected from him. He had +some principles of right and wrong under the guidance of which it may +perhaps be hoped that he will not go utterly astray; but his past life +had not been of a nature to make him unselfish. He was ungenerous, and +Lily felt it, though she would not acknowledge it even to herself. She +had been very open with him--acknowledging the depth of her love for +him; telling him that he was now all in all to her; that life without +his love would be impossible to her: and in a certain way he took +advantage of these strong avowals, treating her as though she were a +creature utterly in his power--as indeed she was. + +On that evening he said no more of Johnny Eames, but said much of the +difficulty of a man establishing himself with a wife in London, who had +nothing but his own moderate income on which to rely. He did not in so +many words tell her that if her friends could make up for her two or +three thousand pounds--that being much less than he had expected when he +first made his offer--this terrible difficulty would be removed; but he +said enough to make her understand that the world would call him very +imprudent in taking a girl who had nothing. And as he spoke of these +things, Lily remaining for the most part silent as he did so, it +occurred to him that he might talk to her freely of his past life--more +freely than he would have done had he feared that he might lose her by +any such disclosures. He had no fear of losing her. Alas! might it not +be possible that he had some such hope! + +He told her that his past life had been expensive; that, though he was +not in debt, he had lived up to every shilling that he had, and that he +had contracted habits of expenditure which it would be almost +impossible for him to lay aside at a day's notice. Then he spoke of +entanglements, meaning, as he did so, to explain more fully what were +their nature--but not daring to do so when he found that Lily was +altogether in the dark as to what he meant. No; he was not a generous +man--a very ungenerous man. And yet, during all this time, he thought +that he was guided by principle. "It will be best that I should be +honest with her," he said to himself. And then he told himself, scores +of times, that when making his offer he had expected, and had a right +to expect, that she would not be penniless. Under those circumstances +he had done the best he could for her--offering her his heart honestly, +with a quick readiness to make her his own at the earliest day that she +might think possible. Had he been more cautious, he need not have +fallen into this cruel mistake; but she, at any rate, could not quarrel +with him for his imprudence. And still he was determined to stand by +his engagement and willing to marry her, although, as he the more +thought of it, he felt the more strongly that he would thereby ruin his +prospects, and thrust beyond his own reach all those good things which +he had hoped to win. As he continued to talk to her he gave himself +special credit for his generosity, and felt that he was only doing his +duty by her in pointing out to her all the difficulties which lay in +the way of their marriage. + +At first Lily said some words intended to convey an assurance that she +would be the most economical wife that man ever had, but she soon +ceased from such promises as these. Her perceptions were keen, and she +discovered that the difficulties of which he was afraid were those +which he must overcome before his marriage, not any which might be +expected to overwhelm him after it. "A cheap and nasty menage would be +my aversion," he said to her. "It is that which I want to avoid--chiefly +for your sake." Then she promised him that she would wait patiently for +his time--"I suppose we shall have to wait two years. And that's a deuce +of a bore--a terrible bore." And there was that in the tone of his voice +which grated on her feelings, and made her wretched for the moment. + +As he parted with her for the night on her own side of the little +bridge which led from one garden to the other, he put his arm round her +to embrace her and kiss her, as he had often done at that spot. It had +become a habit with them to say their evening farewells there, and the +secluded little nook amongst the shrubs was inexpressibly dear to Lily. +But on the present occasion she made an effort to avoid his caress, She +turned from him--very slightly, but it was enough, and he felt it. "Are +you angry with me?" he said. "Oh, no! Adolphus; how can I be angry with +you?" And then she turned to him and gave him her face to kiss almost +before he had again asked for it. "He shall not at any rate think that +I am unkind to him--and it will not matter now," she said to herself, as +she walked slowly across the lawn, in the dark, up to her mother's +drawing-room window. + +"Well, dearest," said Mrs Dale, who was there alone; "did the beards +wag merry in the Great Hall this evening?" That was a joke with them, +for neither Crosbie nor Bernard Dale used a razor at his toilet. + +"Not specially merry. And I think it was my fault, for I have a +headache. Mamma, I believe I will go at once to bed." + +"My darling, is there anything wrong? + +"Nothing, mamma. But we had such a long ride; and then Adolphus is +going, and of course we have so much to say. Tomorrow will be the last +day, for I shall only just see him on Wednesday morning; and as I want +to be well, if possible, I'll go to bed." And so she took her candle +and went. + +When Bell came up, Lily was still awake, but she begged her sister not +to disturb her. "Don't talk to me, Bell," she said." I'm trying to make +myself quiet, and I half feel that I should get childish if I went on +talking. I have almost more to think of than I know how to manage." And +she strove, not altogether unsuccessfully, to speak with a cheery tone, +as though the cares which weighed upon her were not unpleasant in their +nature. Then her sister kissed her and left her to her thoughts. + +And she had great matter for thinking; so great, that many hours +sounded in her ears from the clock on the stairs before she brought her +thoughts to a shape that satisfied herself. She did so bring them at +last, and then she slept. She did so bring them, toiling over her work +with tears that made her pillow wet, with heart-burning and almost with +heart-breaking, with much doubting, and many anxious, eager inquiries +within her own bosom as to that which she ought to do, and that which +she could endure to do. But at last her resolve was taken, and then she +slept. + +It had been agreed between them that Crosbie should come down to the +Small House on the next day after breakfast, and remain there till the +time came for riding. But Lily determined to alter this arrangement, +and accordingly put on her hat immediately after breakfast, and posted +herself at the bridge, so as to intercept her lover as he came. He soon +appeared with his friend Dale, and she at once told him her purpose. + +"I want to have a talk with you, Adolphus, before you go in to mamma; +so come with me into the field." + +"All right," said he. + +"And Bernard can finish his cigar on the lawn. Mamma and Bell will join +him there." + +"All right," said Bernard. So they separated; and Crosbie went away +with Lily into the field where they had first learned to know each +other in those haymaking days. + +She did not say much till they were well away from the house; but +answered what words he chose to speak--not knowing very well of what he +spoke. But when she considered that they had reached the proper spot, +she began very abruptly. + +"Adolphus," she said, "I have something to say to you--something to +which you must listen very carefully." Then he looked at her, and at +once knew that she was in earnest. + +"This is the last day on which I could say it," she continued; "and I +am very glad that I have not let the last day go by without saying it. +I should not have known how to put it in a letter." + +"What is it, Lily?" + +"And I do not know that I can say it properly; but I hope that you will +not be hard upon me. Adolphus, if you wish that all this between us +should be over, I will consent." + +"Lily!" + +"I mean what I say. If you wish it, I will consent; and when I have +said so, proposing it myself, you may be quite sure that I shall never +blame you, if you take me at my word." + +"Are you tired of me, Lily?" + +"No. I shall never be tired of you--never weary with loving you. I did +not wish to say so now; but I will answer your question boldly. Tired +of you! I fancy that a girl can never grow tired of her lover. But I +would sooner die in the struggle than be the cause of your ruin. It +would be better--in every way better." + +"I have said nothing of being ruined." + +"But listen to me. I should not die if you left me--not be utterly +broken-hearted. Nothing on earth can I ever love as I have loved you. +But I have a God and a Saviour that will be enough for me. I can turn +to them with content, if it be well that you should leave me. I have +gone to them, and--" + +But at this moment she could utter no more words. She had broken down +in her effort, losing her voice through the strength of her emotion. As +she did not choose that he should see her overcome, she turned from him +and walked away across the grass. Of course he followed her; but he was +not so quick after her, but that time had been given to her to recover +herself. "It is true," she said." I have the strength of which I tell +you. Though I have given myself to you as your wife, I can bear to be +divorced from you now--now. And, my love, though it may sound heartless, +I would sooner be so divorced from you, than cling to you as a log that +must drag you down under the water, and drown you in trouble and care. +I would--indeed I would. If you go, of course that kind of thing is over +for me. But the world has more than that--much more; and I would make +myself happy--yes, my love, I would be happy. You need not fear that." + +"But, Lily, why is all this said to me here today?" + +"Because it is my duty to say it. I understand all your position now, +though it is only now. It never flashed on me till yesterday. When you +proposed to me, you thought that I--that I had some fortune." + +"Never mind that now, Lily." + +"But you did. I see it all now. I ought perhaps to have told you that +it was not so. There has been the mistake, and we are both sufferers. +But we need not make the suffering deeper than needs be. My love, you +are free--from this moment. And even my heart shall not blame you for +accepting your freedom." + +"And are you afraid of poverty?" he asked her. + +"I am afraid of poverty for you. You and I have lived differently. +Luxuries, of which I know nothing, have been your daily comforts. I +tell you I can bear to part with you, but I cannot bear to become the +source of your unhappiness. Yes; I will bear it; and none shall dare in +my hearing to speak against you. I have brought you here to say the +word; nay, more than that--to advise you to say it." + +He stood silent for a moment, during which he held her by the hand. She +was looking into his face, but he was looking away into the clouds; +striving to appear as though he was the master of the occasion. But +during those moments his mind was wracked with doubt. What if he should +take her at her word? Some few would say bitter things against him, but +such bitter things had been said against many another man without +harming him. Would it not be well for both if he should take her at her +word? She would recover and love again, as other girls had done; and as +for him, he would thus escape from the ruin at which he had been gazing +for the last week past. For it was ruin--utter ruin. He did love her; so +he declared to himself. But was he a man who ought to throw the world +away for love? Such men there were; but was he one of them? Could he be +happy in that small house, somewhere near the New Road, with five +children and horrid misgivings as to the baker's bill? Of all men +living, was not he the last that should have allowed himself to fall +into such a trap? All this passed through his mind as he turned his +face up to the clouds with a look that was intended to be grand and +noble. + +"Speak to me, Adolphus, and say that it shall be so." + +Then his heart misgave him, and he lacked the courage to extricate +himself from his trouble; or, as he afterwards said to himself, he had +not the heart to do it. "If I understand you, rightly, Lily, all this +comes from no want of love on your own part? + +"Want of love on my part? But you should not ask me that." + +"Until you tell me that there is such a want, I will agree to no +parting. "Then he took her hand and put it within his arm. + +"No, Lily; whatever may be our cares and troubles, we are bound +together--indissolubly." + +"Are we?" said she; and as she spoke, her voice trembled, and her hand +shook. + +"Much too firmly for any such divorce as that. No, Lily, I claim the +right to tell you all my troubles; but I shall not let you go." + +"But, Adolphus--" and the hand on his arm was beginning to cling to it again. + +"Adolphus," said he, "has got nothing more to say on that subject. He +exercises the right which he believes to be his own, and chooses to +retain the prize which he has won." + +She was now clinging to him in very truth. "Oh, my love!" she said. "I +do not know how to say it again. It is of you that I am thinking--of +you, of you!" + +"I know you are; but you have misunderstood me a little; that's all." + +"Have I? Then listen to me again, once more, my heart's own darling, my +love, my husband, my lord! If I cannot be to you at once like Ruth, and +never cease from coming after you, my thoughts to you shall be like +those of Ruth--if aught but death part thee and me, may God do so to me +and more also." Then she fell upon his breast and wept. + +He still hardly understood the depth of her character. He was not +himself deep enough to comprehend it all. But yet he was awed by her +great love, and exalted to a certain solemnity of feeling which for the +time made him rejoice in his late decision. For a few hours he was +minded to throw the world behind him, and wear this woman, as such a +woman should be worn--as a comforter to him in all things, and a strong +shield against great troubles. "Lily," he said, "my own Lily! +"Yes, your own, to take when you please, and leave untaken while you +please; and as much your own in one way as in the other." Then she +looked up again, and essayed to laugh as she did so." You will think I +am frantic, but I am so happy. I don't care about your going now; +indeed I don't. There; you may go now, this minute, if you like it." +And she withdrew her hand from his. "I feel so differently from what I +have done for the last few days. I am so glad you have spoken to me as +you did. Of course I ought to bear all those things with you. But I +cannot be unhappy about it now. I wonder if I went to work and made a +lot of things, whether that would help? + +"A set of shirts for me, for instance?" + +"I could do that, at any rate." + +"It may come to that yet, some of these days." + +"I pray God that it may." Then again she was serious, and the tears +came once more into her eyes. "I pray God that it may. To be of use to +you--to work for you--to do something for you that may have in it some +sober, earnest purport of usefulness--that is what I want above all +things. I want to be with you at once that I may be of service to you. +Would that you and I were alone together, that I might do everything +for you. I sometimes think that a very poor man's wife is the happiest, +because she does do everything." + +"You shall do everything very soon," said he; and then they sauntered +along pleasantly through the morning hours, and when they again +appeared at Mrs Dale's table, Mrs Dale and Bell were astonished at +Lily's brightness. All her old ways had seemed to return to her, and +she made her little saucy speeches to Mr Crosbie as she had used to do +when he was first becoming fascinated by her sweetness. "You know that +you'll be such a swell when you get to that countess's house that +you'll forget all about Allington." + +"Of course I shall," said he. + +"And the paper you write upon will be all over coronets--that is, if +ever you do write. Perhaps you will to Bernard some day, just to show +that you are staying at a castle." + +"You certainly don't deserve that he should write to you," sad Mrs Dale. + +"I don't expect it for a moment--not till he gets back to London and +finds that he has nothing else to do at his office. But I should so +like to see how you and Lady Julia get on together. It was quite clear +that she regarded you as an ogre; didn't she, Bell?" + +"So many people are ogres to Lady Julia," said Bell. + +"I believe Lady Julia to be a very good woman," said Mrs Dale, "and I +won't have her abused." + +"Particularly before poor Bernard, who is her pet nephew," said Lily. +"I dare say Adolphus will become a pet too when she has been a week +with him at Courcy Castle. Do try and cut Bernard out." + +From all which Mrs Dale learned that some care which had sat heavy on +Lily's heart was now lightened, if not altogether removed. She had +asked no questions of her daughter, but she had perceived during the +past few days that Lily was in trouble, and she knew that such trouble +had arisen from her engagement. She had asked no questions, but of +course she had been told what was Mr Crosbie's income, and had been +made to understand that it was not to be considered as amply sufficient +for all the wants of matrimony. There was little difficulty in guessing +what was the source of Lily's care, and as little in now perceiving +that something had been said between them by which that care had been +relieved. + +After that they all rode, and the afternoon went by pleasantly. It was +the last day indeed, but Lily had determined that she would not he sad. +She had told him that he might go now, and that she would not be +discontented at his going. She knew that the morrow would be very blank +to her; but she struggled to live up to the spirit of her promise, and +she succeeded. They all dined at the Great House, even Mrs Dale doing +so upon this occasion. When they had come in from the garden in the +evening, Crosbie talked more to Mrs Dale than he did even to Lily, +while Lily sat a little distant, listening with all her ears, sometimes +saying a low-toned word, and happy beyond expression in the feeling +that her mother and her lover should understand each other. And it must +be understood that Crosbie at this time was fully determined to conquer +the difficulties of which he had thought so much, and to fix the +earliest day which might be possible for his marriage. The solemnity of +that meeting in the field still hung about him, and gave to his present +feelings a manliness and a truth of purpose which were too generally +wanting to them. If only those feelings would last! But now he talked +to Mrs Dale about her daughter, and about their future prospects, in a +tone which he could not have used had not his mind for the time been +true to her. He had never spoken so freely to Lily's mother, and at no +time had Mrs Dale felt for him so much of a mother's love. He +apologised for the necessity of some delay, arguing that he could not +endure to see his young wife without the comfort of a home of her own, +and that he was now, as he always had been, afraid of incurring debt. +Mrs Dale disliked waiting engagements--as do all mothers--but she could +not answer unkindly to such pleading as this. + +"Lily is so very young," she said, "that she may well wait for a year +or so." + +"For seven years," said Lily, jumping up and whispering into her +mother's ear. "I shall hardly be six-and-twenty then, which is not at +all too old." + +And so the evening passed away very pleasantly. + +"God bless you, Adolphus!" Mrs Dale said to him, as she parted with him +at her own door. It was the first time that she had called him by his +Christian name. "I hope you understand how much we are trusting to you." + +"I do--I do," said he, as he pressed her hand. Then as he walked back +alone, he swore to himself, binding himself to the oath with all his +heart, that he would be true to those women--both to the daughter and to +the mother; for the solemnity of the morning was still upon him. + +He was to start the next morning before eight, Bernard having +undertaken to drive him over to the railway at Guestwick. The breakfast +was on the table shortly after seven; and just as the two men had come +down, Lily entered the room, with her hat and shawl. "I said I would be +in to pour out your tea," said she; and then she sat herself down over +against the teapot. + +It was a silent meal, for people do not know what to say in those last +minutes. And Bernard, too, was there; proving how true is the adage +which says, that two are company, but that three are not. I think that +Lily was wrong to come up on that last morning; but she would not hear +of letting him start without seeing him, when her lover had begged her +not to put herself to so much trouble. Trouble! Would she not have sat +up all night to see even the last of the top of his hat? + +Then Bernard, muttering something about the horse, went away. "I have +only one minute to speak to you," said she, jumping up, "and I have +been thinking all night of what I had to say. It is so easy to think, +and so hard to speak." + +"My darling, I understand it all." + +"But you must understand this, that I will never distrust you. I will +never ask you to give me up again, or say that I could be happy without +you. I could not live without you; that is, without the knowledge that +you are mine. But I will never be impatient, never. Pray, pray believe +me! Nothing shall make me distrust you." + +"Dearest Lily, I will endeavour to give you no cause." + +"I know you will not; but I specially wanted to tell you that. And you +will write--very soon? + +"Directly I get there." + +"And as often as you can. But I won't bother you; only your letters +will make me so happy. I shall be so proud when they come to me. I +shall be afraid of writing too much to you, for fear I should tire you." + +"You will never do that." + +"Shall I not? But you must write first, you know. If you could only +understand how I shall live upon your letters! And now good-bye. There +are the wheels. God bless you, my own, my own!" And she gave herself up +into his arms, as she had given herself up into his heart. + +She stood at the door as the two men got into the gig, and, as it +passed down through the gate, she hurried out upon the terrace, from +whence she could see it for a few yards down the lane. Then she ran +from the terrace to the gate, and, hurrying through the gate, made her +way into the churchyard, from the farther corner of which she could see +the heads of the two men till they had made the turn into the main road +beyond the parsonage. There she remained till the very sound of the +wheels no longer reached her ears, stretching her eyes in the direction +they had taken. Then she turned round slowly and made her way out at +the churchyard gate, which opened on to the road close to the front +door of the Small House. + +"I should like to punch his head," said Hopkins, the gardener, to +himself, as he saw the gig driven away and saw Lily trip after it, that +she might see the last of him whom it carried. + +"And I wouldn't think nothing of doing it; no more I wouldn't," Hopkins +added in his soliloquy. It was generally thought about the place that +Miss Lily was Hopkins's favourite, though he showed it chiefly by +snubbing her more frequently than he snubbed her sister. + +Lily had evidently intended to return home through the front door; but +she changed her purpose before she reached the house, and made her way +slowly back through the churchyard, and by the gate of the Great House, +and by the garden at the back of it, till she crossed the little +bridge. But on the bridge she rested awhile, leaning against the +railing as she had often leant with him, and thinking of all that had +passed since that July day on which she had first met him. On no spot +had he so often told her of his love as on this, and nowhere had she so +eagerly sworn to him that she would he his own dutiful loving wife. + +"And by God's help so I will," she said to herself, as she walked +firmly up to the house. "He has gone, mamma," she said, as she entered +the breakfast-room. "And now we'll go back to our work-a-day ways; it +has been all Sunday for me for the last six weeks." + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +MR CROSBIE MEETS AN OLD CLERGYMAN ON HIS WAY TO COURCY CASTLE + +For the first mile or two of their journey Crosbie and Bernard Dale +sat, for the most part, silent in their gig. Lily, as she ran down to +the churchyard corner and stood there looking after them with her +loving eyes, had not been seen by them. But the spirit of her devotion +was still strong upon them both, and they felt that it would not be +well to strike at once into any ordinary topic of conversation. And, +moreover, we may presume that Crosbie did feel much at thus parting +from such a girl as Lily Dale, with whom he had lived in close +intercourse for the last six weeks, and whom he loved with all his +heart--with all the heart that he had for such purposes. In those doubts +as to his marriage which had troubled him he had never expressed to +himself any disapproval of Lily. He had not taught himself to think +that she was other than he would have her be, that he might thus give +himself an excuse for parting from her. Not as yet, at any rate, had he +had recourse to that practice, so common with men who wish to free +themselves from the bonds with which they have permitted themselves to +be bound. Lily had been too sweet to his eyes, to his touch, to all his +senses for that. He had enjoyed too keenly the pleasure of being with +her, and of hearing her tell him that she loved him, to allow of his +being personally tired of her. He had not been so spoilt by his club +life but that he had taken exquisite pleasure in all her nice country +ways, and soft, kind-hearted, womanly humour. He was by no means tired +of Lily. Better than any of his London pleasures was this pleasure of +making love in the green fields to Lily Dale. It was the consequences +of it that affrighted him. Babies with their belongings would come; and +dull evenings, over a dull fire, or else the pining grief of a +disappointed woman. He would be driven to be careful as to his clothes, +because the ordering of a new coat would entail a serious expenditure. +He could go no more among countesses and their daughters, because it +would be out of the question that his wife should visit at their +houses. All the victories that he had ever won must be given up. He was +thinking of this even while the gig was going round the corner near the +parsonage house, and while Lily's eyes were still blessed with some +view of his departing back; but he was thinking, also, that moment, +that there might be other victory in store for him; that it might he +possible for him to learn to like that fireside, even though babies +should be there, and a woman opposite to him intent on baby cares. He +was struggling as best he knew how; for the solemnity which Lily had +imparted to him had not yet vanished from his spirit. + +"I hope that, upon the whole, you feel contented with your visit?" said +Bernard to him, at last. + +"Contented? Of course I do." + +"That is easily said; and civility to me, perhaps, demands as much. But +I know that you have, to some extent, been disappointed." + +"Well; yes. I have been disappointed as regards money. It is of no use +denying it." + +"I should not mention it now, only that I want to know that you +exonerate me." + +"I have never blamed you--neither you, nor anybody else; unless, indeed, +it has been myself." + +"You mean that you regret what you've done?" + +"No; I don't mean that. I am too devotedly attached to that dear girl +whom we have just left to feel any regret that I have engaged myself to +her. But I do think that had I managed better with your uncle things +might have been different." + +"I doubt it. Indeed I know that it is not so; and can assure you that +you need not make yourself unhappy on that score. I had thought, as you +well know, that he would have done something for Lily-something, though +not as much as he always intended to do for Bell. But you may be sure +of this; that he had made up his mind as to what he would do. Nothing +that you or I could have said would have changed him." + +"Well; we won't say anything more about it," said Crosbie. Then they +went on again in silence, and arrived at Guestwick in ample time for +the train. + +"Let me know as soon as you get to town," said Crosbie. "Oh, of course. +I'll write to you before that." + +And so they parted. As Dale turned and went, Crosbie felt that he liked +him less than he had done before; and Bernard, also, as he was driving +him, came to the conclusion that Crosbie would not be so good a fellow +as a brother-in-law as he had been as a chance friend. "He'll give us +trouble, in some way; and I'm sorry that I brought him down." That was +Dale's inward conviction in the matter. + +Crosbie's way from Guestwick lay, by railway, to Barchester, the +cathedral city lying in the next county, from whence he purposed to +have himself conveyed over to Courcy. There had, in truth, been no +cause for his very early departure, as he was aware that all arrivals +at country houses should take place at some hour not much previous to +dinner. He had been determined to be so soon upon the road by a feeling +that it would be well for him to get over those last hours. Thus he +found himself in Barchester at eleven o'clock, with nothing on his +hands to do; and, having nothing else to do, he went to church. There +was a full service at the cathedral, and as the verger marshalled him +up to one of the empty stalls, a little spare old man was beginning to +chant the Litany. "I did not mean to fall in for all this," said +Crosbie, to himself, as he settled himself with his arms on the +cushion. But the peculiar charm of that old man's voice soon attracted +him--a voice that, though tremulous, was yet strong; and he ceased to +regret the saint whose honour and glory had occasioned the length of +that day's special service. + +"And who is the old gentleman who chanted the Litany?" he asked the +verger afterwards, as he allowed himself to be shown round the +monuments of the cathedral. + +"That's our precentor, sir, Mr Harding. You must have heard of Mr +Harding." But Crosbie, with a full apology, confessed his ignorance. + +"Well, sir; he's pretty well known too, tho' he is so shy like. He's +father-in-law to our dean, sir; and father-in-law to Archdeacon Grantly +also." + +"His daughters have all gone into the profession, then?" + +"Why, yes; but Miss Eleanor--for I remember her before she was married +at all--when they lived at the hospital--" + +"At the hospital?" +"Hiram's hospital, sir. He was warden, you know. You should go and see +the hospital, sir, if you never was there before. Well, Miss +Eleanor--that was his youngest--she married Mr Bold as her first. But now +she's the dean's lady." + +"Oh; the dean's lady, is she? + +"Yes, indeed. And what do you think, sir? Mr Harding might have been +dean himself if he'd liked. They did offer it to him." + +"And he refused it? + +"Indeed he did, sir." + +"Nolo decanari. I never heard of that before. What made him so modest? + +"Just that, sir; because he is modest. He's past his seventy now--ever +so much; but he's just as modest as a young girl. A deal more modest +than some of them. To see him and his granddaughter together!" + +"And who is his granddaughter?" + +"Why Lady Dumbello, as will be the Marchioness of Hartletop." + +"I know Lady Dumbello," said Crosbie; not meaning, however, to boast to +the verger of his noble acquaintance. + +"Oh, do you, sir?" said the man, unconsciously touching his hat at this +sign of greatness in the stranger; though in truth he had no love for +her ladyship. "Perhaps you're going to be one of the party at Courcy +Castle." + +"Well, I believe I am." + +"You'll find her ladyship there before you. She lunched with her aunt +at the deanery as she went through, yesterday; finding it too much +trouble to go out to her father's, at Plumstead. Her father is the +archdeacon, you know. They do say--but her ladyship is your friend!" + +"No friend at all; only a very slight acquaintance. She's quite as much +above my line as she is above her father's." + +"Well, she is above them all. They say she would hardly as much as +speak to the old gentleman." + +"What, her father? + +"No, Mr Harding; he that chanted the Litany just now. There he is, sir, +coming out of the deanery." + +They were now standing at the door leading out from one of the +transepts, and Mr Harding passed them as they were speaking together. +He was a little, withered, shambling old man, with bent shoulders, +dressed in knee-breeches and long black gaiters, which hung rather +loosely about his poor old legs--rubbing his hands one over the other as +he went. And yet he walked quickly; not tottering as he walked, but +with an uncertain, doubtful step. The verger, as Mr Harding passed, put +his hand to his head, and Crosbie also raised his hat. Whereupon Mr +Harding raised his, and bowed, and turned round as though he were about +to speak. Crosbie felt that he had never seen a face on which traits of +human kindness were more plainly written. But the old man did not +speak. He turned his body half round, and then shambled back, as +though ashamed of his intention, and passed on. + +"He is of that sort that they make the angels of," said the verger. +"But they can't make many if they want them all as good as he is. I'm +much obliged to you, sir." And he pocketed the half-crown which Crosbie +gave him. + +"So that's Lady Dumbello's grandfather," said Crosbie, to himself, as +he walked slowly round the close towards the hospital, by the path +which the verger had shown him. He had no great love for Lady Dumbello, +who had dared to snub him--even him. "They may make an angel of the old +gentleman," he continued to say; "but they'll never succeed in that way +with the granddaughter." + +He sauntered slowly on over a little bridge; and at the gate of the +hospital he again came upon Mr Harding. "I was going to venture in," +said he, "to look at the place. But perhaps I shall be intruding? + +"No, no; by no means," said Mr Harding. "Pray come in. I cannot say +that I am just at home here. I do not live here--not now. But I know the +ways of the place well, and can make you welcome. That's the warden's +house. Perhaps we won't go in so early in the day, as the lady has a +very large family. An excellent lady, and a dear friend of mine--as is +her husband." + +"And he is warden, you say?" + +"Yes, warden of the hospital. You see the house, sir. Very pretty, +isn't it? Very pretty. To my idea it's the prettiest built house I ever +saw." + +"I won't go quite so far as that," said Crosbie. + +"But you would if you'd lived there twelve years, as I did. I lived in +that house twelve years, and I don't think there's so sweet a spot on +the earth's surface. Did you ever see such turf as that? + +"Very nice indeed," said Crosbie, who began to make a comparison with +Mrs Dale's turf at the Small House, and to determine that the Allington +turf was better than that of the hospital. + +"I had that turf laid down myself. There were borders there when I +first came, with hollyhocks, and those sort of things. The turf was an +improvement." + +"There's no doubt of that, I should say." + +"The turf was an improvement, certainly. And I planted those shrubs, +too. There isn't such a Portugal laurel as that in the county." + +"Were you warden here, sir?" And Crosbie, as he asked the question, +remembered that, in his very young days, he had heard of some newspaper +quarrel which had taken place about Hiram's hospital at Barchester. + +"Yes, sir. I was warden here for twelve years. Dear, dear, dear! If +they had put any gentleman here that was not on friendly terms with me +it would have made me very unhappy--very. But, as it is, I go in and out +just as I like; almost as much as I did before they--But they didn't +turn me out. There were reasons which made it best that I should +resign." + +"And you live at the deanery now, Mr Harding?" + +"Yes; I live at the deanery now. But I am not dean, you know. My +son-in-law, Dr Arabin, is the dean. I have another daughter married in +the neighbourhood, and can truly say that my lines have fallen to me in +pleasant places." + +Then he took Crosbie in among the old men, into all of whose rooms he +went. It was an almshouse for aged men of the city, and before Crosbie +had left him Mr Harding had explained all the circumstances of the +hospital, and of the way in which he had left it. "I didn't like going, +you know; I thought it would break my heart. But I could not stay when +they said such things as that--I couldn't stay. And, what is more, I +should have been wrong to stay. I see it all now. But when I went out +under that arch, Mr Crosbie, leaning on my daughter's arm, I thought +that my heart would have broken." And the tears even now ran down the +old man's cheeks as he spoke. + +It was a long story, and it need not be repeated here. And there was no +reason why it should have been told to Mr Crosbie, other than this--that +Mr Harding was a fond garrulous old man, who loved to indulge his mind +in reminiscences of the past. But this was remarked by Crosbie; that, +in telling his story, no word was said by Mr Harding injurious to any +one. And yet he had been injured--injured very deeply. "It was all for +the best," he said at last; "especially as the happiness has not been +denied to me of making myself at home at the old place. I would take +you into the house, which is very comfortable--very, only it is not +always convenient early in the day, when there's a large family." In +hearing which, Crosbie was again made to think of his own future +home and limited income. + +He had told the old clergyman who he was, and that he was on his +way to Courcy. "Where, as I understand, I shall meet a granddaughter of +yours." + +"Yes, yes; she is my grandchild. She and I have got into different +walks of life now, so that I don't see much of her. They tell me that +she does her duty well in that sphere of life to which it has pleased +God to call her." + +"That depends," thought Crosbie, "on what the duties of a viscountess +may be supposed to be." But he wished his new friend good-bye, without +saying anything further as to Lady Dumbello, and, at about six o'clock +in the evening, had himself driven up under the portico of Courcy +Castle. + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +COURCY CASTLE + +Courcy Castle was very full. In the first place, there was a great +gathering there of all the Courcy family. The earl was there--and the +countess, of course. At this period of the year Lady de Courcy was +always at home; but the presence of the earl himself had heretofore +been by no means so certain. He was a man who had been much given to +royal visitings and attendances, to parties in the Highlands, to--no +doubt necessary--prolongations of the London season, to sojournings at +certain German watering-places, convenient, probably, in order that he +might study the ways and ceremonies of German Courts--and to various +other absences from home, occasioned by a close pursuit of his own +special aims in life; for the Earl de Courcy had been a great courtier. +But of late gout, lumbago, and perhaps also some diminution in his +powers of making himself generally agreeable, had reconciled him to +domestic duties, and the earl spent much of his time at home. The +countess, in former days, had been heard to complain of her lord's +frequent absence. But it is hard to please some women--and now she would +not always be satisfied with his presence. + +And all the sons and daughters were there--excepting Lord Porlock, the +eldest, who never met his father. The earl and Lord Porlock were not on +terms, and indeed hated each other as only such fathers and such sons +can hate. The Honourable George de Courcy was there with his bride, he +having lately performed a manifest duty, in having married a young +woman with money. Very young she was not--having reached some years of +her life in advance of thirty; but then, neither was the Honourable +George very young; and in this respect the two were not ill-sorted. The +lady's money had not been very much--perhaps thirty thousand pounds or +so. But then the Honourable George's money had been absolutely none. +Now he had an income on which he could live, and therefore his father +and mother had forgiven him all his sins, and taken him again to their +bosom. And the marriage was matter of great moment, for the elder scion +of the house had not yet taken to himself a wife, and the De Courcy +family might have to look to this union for an heir. The lady herself +was not beautiful, or clever, or of imposing manners--nor was she of +high birth. But neither was she ugly, nor unbearably stupid. Her +manners were, at any rate, innocent; and as to her birth--seeing that, +from the first, she was not supposed to have had any--no disappointment +was felt. Her father had been a coal-merchant. She was always called +Mrs George, and the effort made respecting her by everybody in and +about the family was to treat her as though she were a figure of a +woman, a large well-dressed resemblance of a being, whom it was +necessary for certain purposes that the De Courcys should carry in +their train. Of the Honourable George we may further observe, that, +having been a spendthrift all his life, he had now become strictly +parsimonious. Having reached the discreet age of forty, he had at last +learned that beggary was objectionable; and he, therefore, devoted +every energy of his mind to saving shillings and pence wherever pence +and shillings might be saved. When first this turn came upon him both +his father and mother were delighted to observe it; but, although it +had hardly yet lasted over twelve months, some evil results were +beginning to appear. Though possessed of an income, he would take no +steps towards possessing himself of a house. He hung by the paternal +mansion, either in town or country; drank the paternal wines, rode the +paternal horses, and had even contrived to obtain his wife's dresses +from the maternal milliner. In the completion of which little last +success, however, some slight family dissent had showed itself. + +The Honourable John, the third son, was also at Courcy. He had as yet +taken to himself no wife, and as he had not hitherto made himself +conspicuously useful in any special walk of life his family were +beginning to regard him as a burden. Having no income of his own to +save, he had not copied his brother's virtue of parsimony; and, to tell +the truth plainly, had made himself so generally troublesome to his +father, that he had been on more than one occasion threatened with +expulsion from the family roof. But it is not easy to expel a son. +Human fledglings cannot be driven out of the nest like young birds. An +Honourable John turned adrift into absolute poverty will make himself +heard of in the world--if in no other way, by his ugliness as he +starves. A thorough-going ne'er-do-well in the upper classes has +eminent advantages on his side in the battle which he fights against +respectability. He can't be sent to Australia against his will. He +can't be sent to the poor-house without the knowledge of all the world. +He can't be kept out of tradesmen's shops; nor, without terrible +scandal, can he be kept away from the paternal properties. The earl had +threatened, and snarled, and shown his teeth; he was an angry man, and +a man who could look very angry; with eyes which could almost become +red, and a brow that wrinkled itself in perpendicular wrinkles, +sometimes very terrible to behold. But he was an inconstant man, and +the Honourable John had learned to measure his father, and in an +accurate balance. + +I have mentioned the sons first, because it is to be presumed that they +were the elder, seeing that their names were mentioned before those of +their sisters in all the peerages. But there were four daughters--the +Ladies Amelia, Rosina, Margaretta, and Alexandrina. They, we may say, +were the flowers of the family, having so lived that they had created +none of those family feuds which had been so frequent between their +father and their brothers. They were discreet, highbred women, +thinking, perhaps, a little too much of their own position in the +world, and somewhat apt to put a wrong value on those advantages which +they possessed, and on those which they did not possess. The Lady +Amelia was already married, having made a substantial if not a +brilliant match with Mr Mortimer Gazebee, a flourishing solicitor, +belonging to a firm which had for many years acted as agents to the De +Courcy property. Mortimer Gazebee was now member of Parliament for +Barchester, partly through the influence of his father-in-law. That +this should be so was a matter of great disgust to the Honourable +George, who thought that the seat should have belonged to him. But as +Mr Gazebee had paid the very heavy expenses of the election out of his +own pocket, and as George de Courcy certainly could not have paid them, +the justice of his claim may be questionable. Mrs Gazebee was now the +happy mother of many babies, whom she was wont to carry with her on her +visits to Courcy Castle, and had become an excellent partner to her +husband He would perhaps have liked it better if she had not spoken so +frequently to him of her own high position as the daughter of an earl, +or so frequently to others of her low position as the wife of an +attorney. But, on the whole, they did very well together, and Mr +Gazebee had gotten from his marriage quite as much as he expected when +he made it. + +The Lady Rosina was very religious; and I do not know that she was +conspicuous in any other way, unless it might be that she somewhat +resembled her father, in her temper. It was of the Lady Rosina that the +servants were afraid, especially with reference to that so-called day +of rest which, under her dominion, had become to many of them a day of +restless torment. It had not always been so with the Lady Rosina; but +her eyes had been opened by the wife of a great church dignitary in the +neighbourhood, and she had undergone regeneration. How great may be the +misery inflicted by an energetic, unmarried, healthy woman in that +condition--a woman with no husband, or children, or duties, to distract +her from her work--I pray that my readers may never know. + +The Lady Margaretta was her mother's favourite, and she was like her +mother in all things--except that her mother had been a beauty. The +world called her proud, disdainful, and even insolent; but the world +was not aware that in all that she did she was acting in accordance +with a principle which had called for much self-abnegation. She had +considered it her duty to be a De Courcy and an earl's daughter at all +times; and consequently she had sacrificed to her idea of duty all +popularity, adulation, and such admiration as would have been awarded +to her as a well-dressed, tall, fashionable, and by no means stupid +young woman. To be at all times in something higher than they who were +manifestly below her in rank--that was the effort that she was ever +making. But she had been a good daughter, assisting her mother, as best +she might, in all family troubles, and never repining at the cold, +colourless, unlovely life which had been vouchsafed to her. + +Alexandrina was the beauty of the family, and was in truth the +youngest. But even she was not very young, and was beginning to make +her friends uneasy lest she, too, should let the precious season of +hay-harvest run by without due use of her summer's sun. She had, +perhaps, counted too much on her beauty, which had been beauty +according to law rather than beauty according to taste, and had looked, +probably, for too bounteous a harvest. That her forehead, and nose, and +cheeks, and chin were well-formed, no man could deny. Her hair was soft +and plentiful. Her teeth were good, and her eyes were long and oval. +But the fault of her face was this--that when you left her you could not +remember it. After a first acquaintance you could meet her again and +not know her. After many meetings you would fail to carry away with you +any portrait of her features. But such as she had been at twenty, such +was she now at thirty. Years had not robbed her face of its regularity, +or ruffled the smoothness of her too even forehead. Rumour had declared +that on more than one, or perhaps more than two occasions, Lady +Alexandrina had been already induced to plight her troth in return for +proffered love; but we all know that Rumour, when she takes to such +topics, exaggerates the truth, and sets down much in malice. The lady +was once engaged, the engagement lasting for two years, and the +engagement had been broken off, owing to some money difficulties +between the gentlemen of the families. Since that she had become +somewhat querulous, and was supposed to be uneasy on that subject of +her haymaking. Her glass and her maid assured her that her sun shone +still as brightly as ever; but her spirit was becoming weary with +waiting, and she dreaded lest she should become a terror to all, as was +her sister Rosina, or an object of interest to none, as was Margaretta. +It was from her especially that this message had been sent to our +friend Crosbie; for, during the last spring in London, she and Crosbie +had known each other well. Yes, my gentle readers; it is true, as your +heart suggests to you. Under such circumstances Mr Crosbie should not +have gone to Courcy Castle. + +Such was the family circle of the De Courcys. Among their present +guests I need not enumerate many. First and foremost in all respects +was Lady Dumbello, of whose parentage and position a few words were +said in the last chapter. She was a lady still very young, having as +yet been little more than two years married. But in those two years her +triumphs had been many--so many, that in the great world her standing +already equalled that of her celebrated mother-in-law, the Marchioness +of Hartletop, who, for twenty years, had owned no greater potentate +than herself in the realms of fashion. But Lady Dumbello was every inch +as great as she; and men said, and women also, that the daughter-in-law +would soon be the greater. + +"I'll be hanged if I can understand how she does it, "a certain noble +peer had once said to Crosbie, standing at the door of Sebright's, +during the latter days of the last season. "She never says anything to +any one. She won't speak ten words a whole night through." + +"I don't think she has an idea in her head," said Crosbie. + +"Let me tell you that she must be a very clever woman," continued the +noble peer. "No fool could do as she does. Remember, she's only a +parson's daughter; and as for beauty--" + +"I don't admire her for one," said Crosbie. + +"I don't want to run away with her, if you mean that," said the peer; +"but she is handsome, no doubt. I wonder whether Dumbello likes it." + +Dumbello did like it. It satisfied his ambition to be led about as the +senior lacquey in his wife's train. He believed himself to be a great +man because the world fought for his wife's presence; and considered +himself to be distinguished even among the eldest suns of marquises, by +the greatness reflected from the parson's daughter whom he had married. +He had now been brought to Courcy Castle, and felt himself proud of his +situation because Lady Dumbello had made considerable difficulty in +according this week to the Countess de Courcy. + +And Lady Julia de Guest was already there, the sister of the other old +earl, who lived in the next county. She had only arrived on the day +before, but had been quick in spreading the news as to Crosbie's +engagement. "Engaged to one of the Dales, is he?" said the countess, +with a pretty little smile, which showed plainly that the matter was +one of no interest to herself. "Has she got any money?" + +"Not a shilling, I should think," said the Lady Julia. + +"Pretty, I suppose?" suggested the countess. + +"Why, yes; she is pretty--and a nice girl. I don't know whether her +mother and uncle were very wise in encouraging Mr Crosbie. I don't hear +that he has anything special to recommend him--in the way of money I +mean." + +"I dare say it will come to nothing," said the countess, who liked to +hear of girls being engaged and then losing their promised husbands. +She did not know that she liked it, but she did; and already had +pleasure in anticipating poor Lily's discomfiture. But not the less was +she angry with Crosbie, feeling that he was making his way into her +house under false pretences. + +And Alexandrina also was angry when Lady Julia repeated the same +tidings in her hearing "I really don't think we care very much about +it, Lady Julia," said she, with a little toss of her head." That's +three times we've been told of Miss Dale's good fortune." + +"The Dales are related to you, I think?" said Margaretta. + +"Not at all," said Lady Julia, bristling up. "The lady whom Mr Crosbie +proposes to marry is in no way connected with us. Her cousin, who is +the heir to the Allington property, is my nephew by his mother." And +then the subject was dropped. + +Crosbie, on his arrival, was shown up into his room, told the hour of +dinner, and left to his devices. He had been at the castle before, and +knew the ways of the house. So he sat himself down to his table, and +began a letter to Lily. But he had not proceeded far, not having as yet +indeed made up his mind as to the form in which he would commence it, +but was sitting idly with the pen in his hand, thinking of Lily, and +thinking also how such houses as this in which he now found himself +would be soon closed against him, when there came a rap at his door, +and before he could answer the Honourable John entered the room. + +"Well, old fellow," said the Honourable John, "how are you? +Crosbie had been intimate with John de Courcy, but never felt for him +either friendship or liking. Crosbie did not like such men as John de +Courcy; but nevertheless, they called each other old fellow, poked each +other's ribs, and were very intimate. + +"Heard you were here," continued the Honourable John "so I thought I +would come up and look after you. Going to be married, ain't you? + +"Not that I know of" said Crosbie. + +"Come, we know better than that. The women have been talking about it +for the last three days. I had her name quite pat yesterday, but I've +forgot it now. Hasn't got a tanner; has she?" And the Honourable John +had now seated himself upon the table. + +"You seem to know a great deal more about it than I do." + +"It is that old woman from Guestwick who told us, then. The women will +be at you at once, you'll find. If there's nothing in it, it's what I +call a d---- shame. Why should they always pull a fellow to pieces in +that way? They were going to marry me the other day!" + +"Were they indeed, though? + +"To Harriet Twistleton. You know Harriet Twistleton? An uncommon fine +girl, you know. But I wasn't going to be caught like that. I'm very +fond of Harriet--in my way, you know; but they don't catch an old bird +like me with chaff." + +"I condole with Miss Twistleton for what she has lost." + +"I don't know about condoling. But upon my word that getting married is +a very slow thing. Have you seen George's wife?" + +Crosbie declared that he had not as yet had that pleasure. + +"She's here now, you know. I wouldn't have taken her, not if she'd had +ten times thirty thousand pounds. By Jove, no. But he likes it well +enough. Would you believe it now?--he cares for nothing on earth except +money. You never saw such a fellow. But I'll tell you what, his nose +will be out of joint yet, for Porlock is going to marry. I heard it +from Colepepper, who almost lives with Porlock. As soon as Porlock +heard that she was in the family way he immediately made up his mind to +cut him out." + +"That was a great sign of brotherly love," said Crosbie. + +"I knew he'd do it," said John; "and so I told George before he got +himself spliced. But he would go on. If he'd remained as he was for +four or five years longer there would have been no danger--for Porlock, +you know, is leading the deuce of a life, I shouldn't wonder if he +didn't reform now, and take to singing psalms or something of that +sort." + +"There's no knowing what a man may come to in this world." + +"By George, no. But I'll tell you what, they'll find no change in me. +If I marry it will not be with the intention of giving up life. I say, +old fellow, have you got a cigar here?" + +"What, to smoke up here, do you mean?" + +"Yes; why not? we're ever so far from the women." + +"Not whilst I am occupier of this room. Besides, it's time to dress for +dinner," + +"Is it? So it is, by George! But I mean to have a smoke first, I can +tell you. So it's all a lie about your being engaged; eh?" + +"As far as I know, it is," said Crosbie. And then his friend left him. + +What was he to do at once, now, this very day, as to his engagement? He +had felt sure that the report of it would be carried to Courcy by Lady +Julia de Guest, but he had not settled down upon any resolution as to +what he would do in consequence. It had not occurred to him that he +would immediately be charged with the offence, and called upon to plead +guilty or not guilty. He had never for a moment meditated any plea of +not guilty, but he was aware of an aversion on his part to declare +himself as engaged to Lilian Dale. It seemed that by doing so he would +cut himself off at once from all pleasure at such houses as Courcy +Castle; and, as he argued to himself, why should he not enjoy the +little remnant of his bachelor life? As to his denying his engagement +to John de Courcy--that was nothing. Any one would understand that he +would be justified in concealing a fact concerning himself from such a +one as he. The denial repeated from John's mouth would amount to +nothing--even among John's own sisters. But now it was necessary that +Crosbie should make up his mind as to what he would say when questioned +by the ladies of the house. If he were to deny the fact to them the +denial would be very serious. And, indeed, was it possible that he +should make such denial with Lady Julia opposite to him? + +Make such a denial! And was it the fact that he could wish to do +so--that he should think of such falsehood, and even meditate on the +perpetration of such cowardice? He had held that young girl to his +heart on that very morning. He had sworn to her, and had also sworn to +himself, that she should have no reason for distrusting him. He had +acknowledged most solemnly to himself that, whether for good or for +ill, he was bound to her; and could it be that he was already +calculating as to the practicability of disowning her? In doing so must +he not have told himself that he was a villain? But in truth he made no +such calculation. His object was to banish the subject, if it were +possible to do so; to think of some answer by which he might create a +doubt. It did not occur to him to tell the countess boldly that there +was no truth whatever in the report, and that Miss Dale was nothing to +him. But might he not skilfully laugh off the subject, even in the +presence of Lady Julia? Men who were engaged did so usually, and why +should not he? It was generally thought that solicitude for the lady's +feelings should prevent a man from talking openly of his own +engagement. Then he remembered the easy freedom with which his position +had been discussed throughout the whole neighbourhood of Allington, and +felt for the first time that the Dale family had been almost indelicate +in their want of reticence." I suppose it was done to tie me the +faster," he said to himself, as he pulled out the ends of his cravat. +"What a fool I was to come here, or indeed to go anywhere, after +settling myself as I have done." And then he went down into the +drawing-room. + +It was almost a relief to him when he found that he was not charged +with his sin at once. He himself had been so full of the subject that +he had expected to be attacked at the moment of his entrance, He was, +however, greeted without any allusion to the matter. The countess, in +her own quiet way, shook hands with him as though she had seen him only +the day before. The earl, who was seated in his arm-chair, asked some +one, out loud, who the stranger was, and then, with two fingers put +forth, muttered some apology for a welcome. But Crosbie was quite up to +that kind of thing. "How do, my lord?" he said, turning his face away +to some one else as he spoke; and then he took no further notice of the +master of the house. "Not know him, indeed!" Crippled though he was by +his matrimonial bond, Crosbie felt that, at any rate as yet, he was the +earl's equal in social importance. After that, he found himself in the +back part of the drawing-room, away from the elder people, standing +with Lady Alexandrina, with Miss Gresham, a cousin of the De Courcys, +and sundry other of the younger portion of the assembled community. + +"So you have Lady Dumbello here?" said Crosbie. + +"Oh, yes; the dear creature!" said Lady Margaretta. "It was so good of +her to come, you know." + +"She positively refused the Duchess of St Bungay," said Alexandrina. "I +hope you perceive how good we've been to you in getting you to meet +her. People have actually asked to come." + +"I am grateful; but, in truth, my gratitude has more to do with Courcy +Castle and its habitual inmates, than with Lady Dumbello. Is he here? + +"Oh, yes! he's in the room somewhere. There he is, standing up by Lady +Clandidlem. He always stands in that way before dinner. In the evening +he sits down much after the same fashion." + +Crosbie had seen him on first entering the room, and had seen every +individual in it. He knew better than to omit the duty of that +scrutinising glance; but it sounded well in his line not to have +observed Lord Dumbello. + +"And her ladyship is not down?" said he. + +"She is generally last," said Lady Margaretta. + +"And yet she has always three women to dress her," said Alexandrina. + +"But when finished, what a success it is!" said Crosbie. + +"Indeed it is!" said Margaretta, with energy. Then the door was opened, +and Lady Dumbello entered the room. + +There was immediately a commotion among them all. Even the gouty old +lord shuffled up out of his chair, and tried, with a grin, to look +sweet and pleasant. The countess came forward, looking very sweet and +pleasant, making little complimentary speeches, to which the +viscountess answered simply by a gracious smile. Lady Clandidlem, +though she was very fat and heavy, left the viscount, and got up to +join the group. Baron Potsneuf, a diplomatic German of great celebrity, +crossed his hands upon his breast, and made a low bow. The Honourable +George, who had stood silent for the last quarter of an hour, suggested +to her ladyship that she must have found the air rather cold; and the +Ladies Margaretta and Alexandrina fluttered up with little +complimentary speeches to their dear Lady Dumbello, hoping this and +beseeching that, as though the" Woman in White" before them had been +the dearest friend of their infancy. + +She was a woman in white, being dressed in white silk with white lace +over it, and with no other jewels upon her person than diamonds. Very +beautifully she was dressed; doing infinite credit, no doubt, to those +three artists who had, between them, succeeded in turning her out of +hand. And her face, also, was beautiful, with a certain cold, +inexpressive beauty. She walked up the room very slowly, smiling here +and smiling there; but still with very faint smiles, and took the place +which her hostess indicated to her. One word she said to the countess +and two to the earl. Beyond that she did not open her lips. All the +homage paid to her she received! as though it were clearly her due. She +was not in the least embarrassed, nor did she show herself to be in the +slightest degree ashamed of her own silence. She did not look like a +fool, nor was she even taken for a fool; but she contributed nothing to +society but her cold, hard beauty, her gait, and her dress. We may say +that she contributed enough, for society acknowledged itself to be +deeply indebted to her. + +The only person in the room who did not move at Lady Dumbello's +entrance was her husband. But he remained unmoved from no want of +enthusiasm. A spark of pleasure actually beamed in his eye as he saw +the triumphant entrance of his wife. He felt that he had made a match +that was becoming to him as a great nobleman, and that the world was +acknowledging that he had done his duty. And yet Lady Dumbello had been +simply the daughter of a country parson, of a clergyman who had reached +no higher rank than that of an archdeacon. "How wonderfully well that +woman has educated her," the countess said that evening in her +dressing-room, to Margaretta. The woman alluded to was Mrs Grantly, the +wife of the parson and mother of Lady Dumbello. + +The old earl was very cross because destiny and the table of precedence +required him to take out Lady Clandidlem to dinner. He almost insulted +her, as she kindly endeavoured to assist him in his infirm step rather +than to lean upon him. + +"Ugh!" he said, "it's a bad arrangement that makes two old people like +you and me be sent out together to help each other." + +"Speak for yourself," said her ladyship, with a laugh. "I, at any rate, +can get about without any assistance,"--which, indeed, was true enough. + +"It's well for you!" growled the earl, as he got himself into his seat. + +And after that he endeavoured to solace his pain by a flirtation with +Lady Dumbello on his left. The earl's smiles and the earl's teeth, when +he whispered naughty little nothings to pretty young women, were +phenomena at which men might marvel. Whatever those naughty nothings +were on the present occasion, Lady Dumbello took them all with +placidity, smiling graciously, but speaking hardly more than +monosyllables. + +Lady Alexandrina fell to Crosbie's lot, and he felt gratified that it +was so. It might be necessary for him, as a married man, to give up +such acquaintances as the De Courcys, but he should like, if possible, +to maintain a friendship with Lady Alexandrina. What a friend Lady +Alexandrina would be for Lily, if any such friendship were only +possible! What an advantage would such an alliance confer upon that +dear little girl--for, after all, though the dear little girl's +attractions were very great, he could not but admit to himself that she +wanted a something--a way of holding herself and of speaking, which some +people call style. Lily might certainly learn a great deal from Lady +Alexandrina; and it was this conviction, no doubt, which made him so +sedulous in pleasing that lady on the present occasion. + +And she, as it seemed, was well inclined to be pleased. She said no +word to him during dinner about Lily; and yet she spoke about the +Dales, and about Allington, showing that she knew in what quarters he +had been staying, and then she alluded to their last parties in +London--those occasions on which, as Crosbie now remembered, the +intercourse between them had almost been tender. It was manifest to him +that at any rate she did not wish to quarrel with him. It was manifest, +also, that she had some little hesitation in speaking to him about his +engagement. He did not for the moment doubt that she was aware of it. +And in this way matters went on between them till the ladies left the +room. + +"So you're going to be married, too," said the Honourable George, by +whose side Crosbie found himself seated when the ladies were gone. +Crosbie was employing himself upon a walnut, and did not find it +necessary to make any answer. + +"It's the best thing a fellow can do," continued George; "that is, if +he has been careful to look to the main chance--if he hasn't been caught +napping, you know. It doesn't do for a man to go hanging on by nothing +till he finds himself an old man." + +"You've feathered your own nest, at any rate." + +"Yes; I've got something in the scramble, and I mean to keep it. Where +will John be when the governor goes off the hooks? Porlock wouldn't +give him a bit of bread and cheese and a glass of beer to save his +life--that is to say, not if he wanted it." + +"I'm told your elder brother is going to be married." + +"You've heard that from John. He's spreading that about everywhere to +take a rise out of me. I don't believe a word of it. Porlock never was +a marrying man--and, what's more, from all I hear, I don't think he'll +live long." + +In this way Crosbie escaped from his own difficulty; and when he rose +from the dinner-table had not as yet been driven to confess anything to +his own discredit. + +But the evening was not yet over. When he returned to the drawing-room +he endeavoured to avoid any conversation with the countess herself, +believing that the attack would more probably come from her than from +her daughter. He, therefore, got into conversation first with one and +then with another of the girls, till at last he found himself again +alone with Alexandrina. + +"Mr Crosbie," she said, in a low voice, as they were standing together +over one of the distant tables, with their backs to the rest of the +company, "I want you to tell me something about Miss Lilian Dale." + +"About Miss Lilian Dale!" he said, repeating her words. + +"Is she very pretty? + +"Yes she certainly is pretty." + +"And very nice, and attractive, and clever--and all that is delightful? +Is she perfect? + +"She is very attractive," said he; "but I don't think she's perfect." + +"And what are her faults? +"That question is hardly fair, is it? Suppose any one were to ask me +what were your faults, do you think I should answer the question? + +"I am quite sure you would, and make a very long list of them, too. But +as to Miss Dale, you ought to think her perfect. If a gentleman were +engaged to me, I should expect him to swear before all the world that I +was the very pink of perfection." + +"But supposing the gentleman were not engaged to you? + +"That would be a different thing." + +"I am not engaged to you," said Crosbie. "Such happiness and such +honour are, I fear, very far beyond my reach. But, nevertheless, I am +prepared to testify as to your perfection anywhere." + +"And what would Miss Dale say?" + +"Allow me to assure you that such opinions as I may choose to express +of my friends will be my own opinions, and not depend on those of any +one else." + +"And you think, then, that you are not bound to be enslaved as yet? How +many more months of such freedom are you to enjoy?" + +Crosbie remained silent for a minute before he answered, and then he +spoke in a serious voice." Lady Alexandrina," said he, "I would beg +from you a great favour." + +"What is the favour, Mr Crosbie? + +"I am quite in earnest. Will you be good enough, kind enough, enough my +friend, not to connect my name again with that of Miss Dale while I am +here? + +"Has there been a quarrel? + +"No; there has been no quarrel. I cannot explain to you now why I make +this request; but to you I will explain it before I go." + +"Explain it to me!!" + +"I have regarded you as more than an acquaintance--as a friend. In days +now past there were moments when I was almost rash enough to hope that +I might have said even more than that. I confess that I had no warrant +for such hopes, but I believe that I may still look on you!! as a +friend? + +"Oh, yes, certainly," said Alexandrina, in a very low voice, and with a +certain amount of tenderness in her tone. "I have always regarded you +as a friend." + +"And therefore I venture to make the request! The subject is not one on +which I can speak openly, without regret, at the present moment. But to +you, at least, I promise that I will explain it all before I leave +Courcy." + +He at any rate succeeded in mystifying Lady Alexandrina. "I don't +believe he is engaged a bit," she said to Lady Amelia Gazebee that +night. + +"Nonsense, my dear. Lady Julia wouldn't speak of it in that certain way +if she didn't know. Of course he doesn't wish to have it talked about." + +"If ever he has been engaged to her, he has broken it off again," said +Lady Alexandrina. + +"I dare say he will, my dear, if you give him encouragement" said the +married sister, with great sisterly good-nature. + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +LILY DALE'S FIRST LOVE-LETTER + +Crosbie was rather proud of himself when he went to bed. He had +succeeded in baffling the charge made against him, without saying +anything as to which his conscience need condemn him. So, at least, he +then told himself. The impression left by what he had said would be +that there had been some question of an engagement between him and +Lilian Dale, but that nothing at this moment was absolutely fixed. But +in the morning his conscience was not quite so clear. What would Lily +think and say if she knew it all? Could he dare to tell her, or to tell +any one the real state of his mind? + +As he lay in bed, knowing that an hour remained to him before he need +encounter the perils of his tub, he felt that he hated Courcy Castle +and its inmates. Who was there, among them all, that was comparable to +Mrs Dale and her daughters? He detested both George and John. He +loathed the earl. As to the countess herself, he was perfectly +indifferent, regarding her as a woman whom it was well to know, but as +one only to be known as the mistress of Courcy Castle and a house in +London. As to the daughters, he had ridiculed them all from time to +time--even Alexandrina, whom he now professed to love. Perhaps in some +sort of way he had a weak fondness for her--but it was a fondness that +had never touched his heart. He could measure the whole thing at its +worth--Courcy Castle with its privileges, Lady Dumbello, Lady +Clandidlem, and the whole of it. He knew that he had been happier on +that lawn at Allington, and more contented with himself, than ever he +had been even under Lady Hartletop's splendid roof in Shropshire. Lady +Dumbello was satisfied with these things, even in the inmost recesses +of her soul; but he was not a male Lady Dumbello. He knew that there +was something better, and that that something was within his reach. + +But, nevertheless, the air of Courcy was too much for him. In arguing +the matter with himself he regarded himself as one infected with a +leprosy from which there could be no recovery, and who should, +therefore, make his whole life suitable to the circumstances of that +leprosy. It was of no use for him to tell himself that the Small House +at Allington was better than Courcy Castle. Satan knew that heaven was +better than hell; but he felt himself to be fitter for the latter +place. Crosbie ridiculed Lady Dumbello, even there among her friends, +with all the cutting words that his wit could find; but, nevertheless, +the privilege of staying in the same house with her was dear to him. It +was the line of life into which he had fallen, and he confessed +inwardly that the struggle to extricate himself would be too much for +him. All that had troubled him while he was yet at Allington, but it +overwhelmed him almost with dismay beneath the hangings of Courcy +Castle. + +Had he not better run from the place at once? He had almost +acknowledged to himself that he repented his engagement with Lilian +Dale, but he still was resolved that he would fulfil it. He was bound +in honour to marry "that little girl," and he looked sternly up at the +drapery over his head, as he assured himself that he was a man of +honour. Yes; he would sacrifice himself. As he had been induced to +pledge his word, he would not go back from it. He was too much of a man +for that! + +But had he not been wrong to refuse the result of Lily's wisdom when +she told him in the field that it would be better for them to part? He +did not tell himself that he had refused her offer merely because he +had not the courage to accept it on the spur of the moment. No. "He had +been too good to the poor girl to take her at her word." It was thus he +argued on the matter within his own breast. He had been too true to +her; and now the effect would be that they would both be unhappy for +life! He could not live in content with a family upon a small income. +He was well aware of that. No one could be harder upon him in that +matter than was he himself. But it was too late now to remedy the ill +effects of an early education. + +It was thus that he debated the matter as he lay in bed--contradicting +one argument by another over and over again; but still in all of them +teaching himself to think that this engagement of his was a misfortune. +Poor Lily! Her last words to him had conveyed an assurance that she +would never distrust him. And she also, as she lay wakeful in her bed +on this the first morning of his absence, thought much of their mutual +vows. How true she would be to them! How she would be his wife with all +her heart and spirit! It was not only that she would love him--but in +her love she would serve him to her utmost; serve him as regarded this +world, and if possible as regarded the next. + +"Bell," she said, "I wish you were going to be married too." + +"Thank'ye, dear," said Bell," Perhaps I shall some day." + +"Ah; but I'm not joking. It seems such a serious thing. And I can't +expect you to talk to me about it now as you would if you were in the +same position yourself. Do you think I shall make him happy?" + +"Yes, I do, certainly." + +"Happier than he would be with any one else that he might meet? I dare +not think that. I think I could give him up tomorrow, if I could see +any one that would suit him better." What would Lily have said had she +been made acquainted with all the fascinations of Lady Alexandrina de +Courcy? + +The countess was very civil to him, saying nothing about his +engagement, but still talking to him a good deal about his sojourn at +Allington. Crosbie was a pleasant man for ladies in a large house. +Though a sportsman, he was not so keen a sportsman as to be always out +with the gamekeepers. Though a politician, he did not sacrifice his +mornings to the perusal of blue-books or the preparation of party +tactics. Though a reading man, he did not devote himself to study. +Though a horseman, he was not often to be found in the stables. He +could supply conversation when it was wanted, and could take himself +out of the way when his presence among the women was not needed. +Between breakfast and lunch on the day following his arrival he talked +a good deal to the countess, and made himself very agreeable. She +continued to ridicule him gently for his prolonged stay among so +primitive and rural a tribe of people as the Dales, and he bore her +little sarcasm with the utmost good-humour. + +"Six weeks at Allington without a move! Why, Mr Crosbie, you must have +felt yourself to be growing there." + +"So I did--like an ancient tree. Indeed, I was so rooted that I could +hardly get away." + +"Was the house full of people all the time?" + +"There was nobody there but Bernard Dale, Lady Julia's nephew." +"Quite a case of Damon and Pythias. Fancy your going down to the shades +of Allington to enjoy the uninterrupted pleasures of friendship for six +weeks." + +"Friendship and the partridges." + +"There was nothing else, then?" + +"Indeed there was. There was a widow with two very nice daughters, +living, not exactly in the same house, but on the same grounds." + +"Oh, indeed. That makes such a difference; doesn't it? You are not a +man to bear much privation on the score of partridges, nor a great +deal, I imagine, for friendship. But when you talk of pretty girls--" + +"It makes a difference, doesn't it? + +"A very great difference. I think I have heard of that Mrs Dale before. +And so her girls are nice? + +"Very nice indeed." + +"Play croquet, I suppose, and eat syllabubs on the lawn? But, really, +didn't you get very tired of it? + +"Oh dear, no. I was happy as the day was long." + +"Going about with a crook, I suppose?" + +"Not exactly a live crook; but doing all that kind of thing. I learned +a great deal about pigs." + +"Under the guidance of Miss Dale?" + +"Yes; under the guidance of Miss Dale." + +"I'm sure one is very much obliged to you for tearing yourself away +from such charms, and coming to such unromantic people as we are. But +I fancy men always do that sort of thing once or twice in their +lives--and then they talk of their souvenirs. I suppose it won't go +beyond a souvenir with you." + +This was a direct question, but still admitted of a fencing answer. "It +has, at any rate, given me one," said he," which will last me my life!" + +The countess was quite contented. That Lady Julia's statement was +altogether true she had never for a moment doubted. That Crosbie should +become engaged to a young lady in the country, whereas he had shown +signs of being in love with her daughter in London, was not at all +wonderful. Nor, in her eyes, did such practice amount to any great sin. +Men did so daily, and girls were prepared for their so doing. A man in +her eyes was not to be regarded as safe from attack because he was +engaged. Let the young lady who took upon herself to own him have an +eye to that. When she looked back on the past careers of her own flock, +she had to reckon more than one such disappointment for her own +daughters. Others besides Alexandrina had been so treated. Lady de +Courcy had had her grand hopes respecting her girls, and after them +moderate hopes, and again after them bitter disappointments. Only one +had been married, and she was married to an attorney. It was not to be +supposed that she would have any very high-toned feelings as to Lily's +rights in this matter. + +Such a man as Crosbie was certainly no great match for an earl's +daughter. Such a marriage, indeed, would, one may say, be but a poor +triumph. When the countess, during the last season in town, had +observed how matters were going with Alexandrina, she had cautioned her +child, taking her to task for her imprudence. But the child had been at +this work for fourteen years, and was weary of it. Her sisters had been +at the work longer, and had almost given it up in despair. Alexandrina +did not tell her parent that her heart was now beyond her control, and +that she had devoted herself to Crosbie for ever; but she pouted, +saying that she knew very well what she was about, scolding her mother +in return, and making Lady de Courcy perceive that the struggle was +becoming very weary. And then there were other considerations. Mr +Crosbie had not much certainly in his own possession, but he was a man +out of whom something might be made by family influence and his own +standing. He was not a hopeless, ponderous man, whom no leaven could +raise. He was one of whose position in society the countess and her +daughters need not be ashamed. Lady de Courcy had given no expressed +consent to the arrangement, but it had come to be understood between +her and her daughter that the scheme was to be entertained as +admissible. + +Then came these tidings of the little girl down at Allington. She felt +no anger against Crosbie. To be angry on such a subject would be +futile, foolish, and almost indecorous. It was a part of the game which +was as natural to her as fielding is to a cricketer. One cannot have it +all winnings at any game. Whether Crosbie should eventually become her +own son-in-law or not it came to her naturally, as a part of her duty +in life, to howl down the stumps of that young lady at Allington. If +Miss Dale knew the game well and could protect her own wicket, let her +do so. + +She had no doubt as to Crosbie's engagement with Lilian Dale, but she +had as little as to his being ashamed of that engagement. Had he really +cared for Miss Dale he would not have left her to come to Courcy +Castle. Had he been really resolved to marry her, he would not have +warded all questions respecting his engagement with fictitious answers. +He had amused himself with Lily Dale, and it was to be hoped that the +young lady had not thought very seriously about it. That was the most +charitable light in which Lady de Courcy was disposed to regard the +question. + +It behoved Crosbie to write to Lily Dale before dinner. He had promised +to do so immediately on his arrival, and he was aware that he would be +regarded as being already one day beyond his promise. Lily had told him +that she would live upon his letters, and it was absolutely necessary +that he should furnish her with her first meal. So he betook himself to +his room in sufficient time before dinner, and got out his pen, ink, +and paper. + +He got out his pen, ink, and paper, and then he found that his +difficulties were beginning. I beg that it may be understood that +Crosbie was not altogether a villain. He could not sit down and write a +letter as coming from his heart, of which as he wrote it he knew the +words to be false, He was an ungenerous, worldly, inconstant man, very +prone to think well of himself, and to give himself credit for virtues +which he did not possess; but he could not be false with premeditated +cruelty to a woman he had sworn to love. He could not write an +affectionate, warm-hearted letter to Lily, without bringing himself, at +any rate for the time, to feel towards her in an affectionate, +warmhearted way. Therefore he now sat himself to work, while his pen +yet remained dry in his hand, to remodel his thoughts, which had been +turned against Lily and Allington by the craft of Lady de Courcy. It +takes some time before a man can do this. He has to struggle with +himself in a very uncomfortable way, making efforts which are often +unsuccessful. It is sometimes easier to lift a couple of hundredweights +than to raise a few thoughts in one's mind which at other moments will +come galloping in without a whistle, + +He had just written the date of his letter when a little tap came at +his door, and it was opened. + +"I say, Crosbie," said the Honourable John, "didn't you say something +yesterday about a cigar before dinner? + +"Not a word," said Crosbie, in rather an angry tone. + +"Then it must have been me," said John." But bring your case with you, +and come down to the harness-room, if you won't smoke here. I've had a +regular little snuggery fitted up there; and we can go in and see the +fellows making up the horses." + +Crosbie wished the Honourable John at the mischief. + +"I have letters to write," said he. "Besides, I never smoke before +dinner." + +"That's nonsense. I've smoked hundreds of cigars with you before +dinner. Are you going to turn curmudgeon, too, like George and the rest +of them? I don't know what's coming to the world! I suppose the fact +is, that little girl at Allington won't let you smoke." + +"The little girl at Allington--" began Crosbie; and then he reflected +that it would not be well for him to say anything to his present +companion about that little girl. + +"I'll tell you what it is," said he. + +"I really have got letters to write which must go by this post. There's +my cigar-case on the dressing-table." + +"I hope it will be long before I'm brought to such a state," said John, +taking up the cigars in his hand. + +"Let me have the case back," said Crosbie. + +"A present from the little girl, I suppose?" said John. + +"All right, old fellow! you shall have it." + +"There would be a nice brother-in-law for a man," said Crosbie to +himself, as the door closed behind the retreating scion of the De +Courcy family. And then, again, he took up his pen. The letter must be +written, and therefore he threw himself upon the table, resolved that +the words should come and the paper be filled. + +COURCY CASTLE, October, 186-. + +DEAREST LILY--This is the first letter I ever wrote to you, except those +little notes when I sent you my compliments discreetly--and it sounds so +odd. You will think that this does not come as soon as it should; but +the truth is that after all I only got in here just before dinner +yesterday. I stayed ever so long at Barchester, and came across such a +queer character. For you most know I went to church, and afterwards +fraternised with the clergyman who did the service; such a gentle old +soul--and, singularly enough, he is the grandfather of Lady Dumbello, +who is staying here. I wonder what you'd think of Lady Dumbello, or how +you'd like to be shut up in the same house with her for a week? + +But with reference to my staying at Barchester, I most tell you the +truth now, though I was a gross impostor the day that I went away. I +wanted to avoid a parting on that last morning, and therefore I started +much sooner than I need have done. I know you will be very angry with +me; but open confession is good for the soul. You frustrated all my +little plan by your early rising; and as I saw you standing on the +terrace, looking after us as we went, I acknowledged that you had been +right, and that I was wrong. When the time came, I was very glad to +have you with me at the last moment. + +My own dearest Lily, you cannot think how different this place is from +the two houses at Allington, or how much I prefer the sort of life +which belongs to the latter. I know that I have been what the world +calls worldly, but you will have to cure me of that. I have questioned +myself very much since I left you, and I do not think that I am quite +beyond the reach of a cure. At any rate, I will put myself trustingly +into the doctor's hands. I know it is hard for a man to change his +habits; but I can with truth say this for myself, that I was happy at +Allington, enjoying every hour of the day, and that here I am _ennuye_ +by everybody and nearly by everything. One of the girls of the house +I do like; but as to other people, I can hardly find a companion among +them, let alone a friend. However, it would not have done for me to +have broken away from all such alliance too suddenly. + +When I get up to London--and now I really am anxious to get there--I can +write to you more at my ease, and more freely than I do here. I know +that I am hardly myself among these people--or rather, I am hardly +myself as you know me, and as I hope you always will know me. But, +nevertheless, I am not so overcome by the miasma but what I can tell +you how truly I love you. Even though my spirit should be here, which +it is not, my heart would be on the Allington lawns. That dear lawn and +that dear bridge! + +Give my kind love to Bell and your mother. I feel already that I might +almost say my mother. And Lily, my darling, write to me at once. I +expect your letters to me to be longer, and better, and brighter than +mine to you. But I will endeavour to make mine nicer when I get back to +town. + +God bless you. + +Yours, with all my heart, + +A. C. + +As he waxed warm with his writing he had forced himself to be +affectionate, and, as he flattered himself, frank and candid. +Nevertheless, he was partly conscious that he was preparing for himself +a mode of escape in those allusions of his to his own worldliness; if +escape should ultimately be necessary. "I have tried," he would then +say; "I have struggled honestly, with my best efforts for success; but +I am not good enough for such success." I do not intend to say that he +wrote with a premeditated intention of thus using his words; but as he +wrote them he could not keep himself from reflecting that they might be +used in that way. + +He read his letter over, felt satisfied with it, and resolved that he +might now free his mind from that consideration for the next +forty-eight hours. Whatever might he his sins he had done his duty by +Lily! And with this comfortable reflection he deposited his letter in +the Courcy Castle letter-box. + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +THE SQUIRE MAKES A VISIT TO THE SMALL HOUSE + +Mrs Dale acknowledged to herself that she had not much ground for +hoping that she should ever find in Crosbie's house much personal +happiness for her future life. She did not dislike Mr Crosbie, nor in +any great degree mistrust him; but she had seen enough of him to make +her certain that Lily's future home in London could not be a home for +her. He was worldly, or, at least, a man of the world. He would be +anxious to make the most of his income, and his life would be one long +struggle, not perhaps for money, but for those things which money only +can give. There are men to whom eight hundred a year is great wealth, +and houses to which it brings all the comforts that life requires. But +Crosbie was not such a man, nor would his house be such a house. Mrs +Dale hoped that Lily would be happy with him, and satisfied with his +modes of life, and she strove to believe that such would be the case; +but as regarded herself she was forced to confess that in such a +marriage her child would be much divided from her. That pleasant abode +to which she had long looked forward that she might have a welcome +there in coming years should be among fields and trees, not in some +narrow London street. Lily must now become a city lady; but Bell would +still be left to her, and it might still be hoped that Bell would find +for herself some country home. + +Since the day on which Lily had first told her mother of her +engagement, Mrs Dale had found herself talking much more fully and more +frequently with Bell than with her younger daughter. As long as Crosbie +was at Allington this was natural enough. He and Lily were of course +together, while Bell remained with her mother. But the same state of +things continued even after Crosbie was gone. It was not that there was +any coolness or want of affection between the mother and daughter, but +that Lily's heart was full of her lover, and that Mrs Dale, though she +had given her cordial consent to the marriage, felt that she had but +few points of sympathy with her future son-in-law. She had never said, +even to herself, that she disliked him; nay, she had sometimes declared +to herself that she was fond of him. But, in truth, he was not a man +after her own heart. He was not one who could ever be to her as her own +son and her own child. + +But she and Bell would pass hours together talking of Lily's +prospects." It seems strange to me," said Mrs Dale," that she of all +girls should have been fancied by such a man as Mr Crosbie, or that she +should have liked him. I cannot imagine Lily living in London." + +"If he is good and affectionate to her she will be happy wherever he +is," said Bell. + +"I hope so--I'm sure I hope so. But it seems as though she will be so +far separated from us. It is not the distance, but the manner of life +which makes the separation. I hope you'll never be taken so far from +me." + +"I don't think I shall allow myself to be taken up to London," said +Bell, laughing. "But one can never tell. If I do you must follow us, +mamma." + +"I do not want another Mr Crosbie for you, dear." + +"But perhaps I may want one for myself. You need not tremble quite yet, +however. Apollos do not come this road every day." + +"Poor Lily! Do you remember when she first called him Apollo? I do, +well. I remember his corning here the day after Bernard brought him +down, and how you were playing on the lawn, while I was in the other +garden. I little thought then what it would come to." + +"But, mamma, you don't regret it?" + +"Not if it's to make her happy. If she can be happy with him, of course +I shall not regret it; not though he were to take her to the world's +end away from us. What else have I to look for but that she and you +should both be happy?" + +"Men in London are happy with their wives as well as men in the +country." + +"Oh, yes; of all women I should be the first to acknowledge that." + +"And as to Adolphus himself, I do not know why we should distrust him." + +"No, my dear; there is no reason. If I did distrust him I should not +have given so ready an assent to the marriage. But, nevertheless--" + +"The truth is, you don't like him, mamma." + +"Not so cordially as I hope I may like any man whom you may choose for +your husband." + +And Lily, though she said nothing on the subject to Mrs Dale, felt that +her mother was in some degree estranged from her. Crosbie's name was +frequently mentioned between them, but in the tone of Mrs Dale's voice, +and in her manner when she spoke of him, there was lacking that +enthusiasm and heartiness which real sympathy would have produced. Lily +did not analyse her own feelings, or closely make inquiry as to those +of her mother, but she perceived that it was not all as she would have +wished it to have been. "I know mamma does not love him," she said to +Bell on the evening of the day on which she received Crosbie's first +letter. + +"Not as you do, Lily; but she does love him." + +"Not as I do! To say that is nonsense, Bell; of course she does not +love him as I do. But the truth is she does not love him at all. Do you +think I cannot see it?" + +"I'm afraid that you see too much." + +"She never says a word against him; but if she really liked him she +would sometimes say a word in his favour. I do not think she would ever +mention his name unless you or I spoke to him before her. If she did +not approve of him, why did she not say so sooner? + +"That's hardly fair upon mamma," said Bell, with some earnestness. "She +does not disapprove of him, and she never did. You know mamma well +enough to be sure that she would not interfere with us in such a matter +without very strong reason. As regards Mr Crosbie, she gave her consent +without a moment's hesitation." + +"Yes, she did." + +"How can you say, then, that she disapproves of him?" +"I didn't mean to find fault with mamma. Perhaps it will come all +right." + +"It will come all, right." But Bell, though she made this very +satisfactory promise, was as well aware as either of the others that +the family would be divided when Crosbie should have married Lily and +taken her off to London. + +On the following morning Mrs Dale and Bell were sitting together. Lily +was above in her own room, either writing to her lover, or reading his +letter, or thinking of him, or working for him. In some way she was +employed on his behalf, and with this object she was alone. It was now +the middle of October, and the fire was lit in Mrs Dale's drawing-room. +The window which opened upon the lawn was closed, the heavy curtains +had been put back in their places, and it had been acknowledged as an +unwelcome fact that the last of the summer was over. This was always a +sorrow to Mrs Dale; but it is one of those sorrows which hardly admit +of open expression. + +"Bell," she said, looking up suddenly; "there's your uncle at the +window. Let him in." For now, since the putting up of the curtains, the +window had been bolted as well as closed. So Bell got up, and opened a +passage for the squire's entrance. It was not often that he came down +in this way, and when he did do so it was generally for some purpose +which had been expressed before. + +"What! fires already?" said he. "I never have fires at the other house +in the morning till the first of November. I like to see a spark in the +grate after dinner." + +"I like a fire when I'm cold," said Mrs Dale. But this was a subject on +which the squire and his sister-in-law had differed before, and as Mr +Dale had some business in hand, he did not now choose to waste his +energy in supporting his own views on the question of fires. + +"Bell, my dear," said he, "I want to speak to your mother for a minute +or two on a matter of business. You wouldn't mind leaving us for a +little while, would you?" Whereupon Bell collected up her work and went +upstairs to her sister. "Uncle Christopher is below with mamma," said +she, "talking about business. I suppose it is something to do with your +marriage." But Bell was wrong. The squire's visit had no reference to +Lily's marriage. + +Mrs Dale did not move or speak a word when Bell was gone, though it was +evident that the squire paused in order that she might ask some +question of him. "Mary," said he, at last, "I'll tell you what it is +that I have come to say to you." Whereupon she put the piece of +needlework which was in her hands down upon the work-basket before her, +and settled herself to listen to him. + +"I wish to speak to you about Bell." + +"About Bell?" said Mrs Dale, as though much surprised that he should +have anything to say to her respecting her eldest daughter. + +"Yes, about Bell. Here's Lily going to be married, and it will be well +that Bell should be married too." + +"I don't see that at all," said Mrs Dale. "I am by no means in a hurry +to be rid of her." + +"No, I dare say not. But, of course, you only regard her welfare, and I +can truly say that I do the same. There would be no necessity for hurry +as to a marriage for her under ordinary circumstances, but there may be +circumstances to make such a thing desirable, and I think that there +are." It was evident from the squire's tone and manner that he was very +much in earnest; but it was also evident that he found some difficulty +in opening out the budget with which he had prepared himself. He +hesitated a little in his voice, and seemed to be almost nervous. Mrs +Dale, with some little spice of ill-nature, altogether abstained from +assisting him. She was jealous of interference from him about her +girls, and though she was of course bound to listen to him, she did so +with a prejudice against and almost with a resolve to oppose anything +that he might say. When he had finished his little speech about +circumstances, the squire paused again; but Mrs Dale still sat silent, +with her eyes fixed upon his face. + +"I love your children very dearly;' said he, "though I believe you +hardly give me credit for doing so." + +"I am sure you do," said Mrs Dale, "and they are both well aware of it." + +"And I am very anxious that they should be comfortably established in +life. I have no children of my own, and those of my two brothers are +everything to me." + +Mrs Dale had always considered it as a matter of course that Bernard +should be the squire's heir, and had never felt that her daughters had +any claim on that score. It was a well-understood thing in the family +that the senior male Dale should have all the Dale property and all the +Dale money. She fully recognised even the propriety of such an +arrangement. But it seemed to her that the squire was almost guilty of +hypocrisy in naming his nephew and his two nieces together, as though +they were the joint heirs of his love. Bernard was his adopted son, and +no one had begrudged to the uncle the right of making such adoption. +Bernard was everything to him, and as being his heir was bound to obey +him in many things. But her daughters were no more to him than any +nieces might be to any uncle. He had nothing to do with their disposal +in marriage; and the mother's spirit was already up in arms and +prepared to do battle for her own independence, and for that of her +children. "If Bernard would marry well," said she, "I have no doubt it +would be a comfort to you,"--meaning to imply thereby that the squire +had no right to trouble himself about any other marriage. + +"That's just it," said the squire. "It would be a great comfort to me. +And if he and Bell could make up their minds together, it would, I +should think, be a great comfort to you also." + +"Bernard and Bell!" exclaimed Mrs Dale. No idea of such a union had +ever yet come upon her, and now in her surprise she sat silent. She had +always liked Bernard Dale, having felt for him more family affection +than for any other of the Dale family beyond her own hearth. He had +been very intimate in her house, having made himself almost as a +brother to her girls. But she had never thought of him as a husband for +either of them. + +"Then Bell has not spoken to you about it," said the squire. + +"Never a word." + +"And you had never thought about it?" + +"Certainly not." + +"I have thought about it a great deal. For some years I have always +been thinking of it. I have set my heart upon it, and shall be very +unhappy if it cannot be brought about. They are both very dear to +me--dearer than anybody else. If I could see them man and wife, I should +not much care then how soon I left the old place to them." + +There was a purer touch of feeling in this than the squire had ever +before shown in his sister-in-law's presence, and more heartiness than +she had given him the credit of possessing. And she could not but +acknowledge to herself that her own child was included in this +unexpected warmth of love, and that she was bound at any rate to +entertain some gratitude for such kindness. + +"It is good of you to think of her," said the mother;" very good." + +"I think a great deal about her," said the squire." But that does not +much matter now. The fact is, that she has declined Bernard's offer." + +"Has Bernard offered to her?" + +"So he tells me; and she has refused him. It may perhaps be natural +that she should do so, never having taught herself to look at him in +the light of a lover. I don't blame her at all. I am not angry with +her." + +"Angry with her! No. You can hardly be angry with her for not being in +love with her cousin." + +"I say that I am not angry with her. But I think she might undertake to +consider the question. You would like such a match, would you not?" + +Mrs Dale did not at first make any answer, but began to revolve the +thing in her mind, and to look at it in various points of view. There +was a great deal in such an arrangement which at the first sight +recommended it to her very strongly. All the local circumstances were +in its favour. As regarded herself it would promise to her all that she +had ever desired. It would give her a prospect of seeing very much of +Lily; for if Bell were settled at the old family house, Crosbie would +naturally be much with his friend. She liked Bernard also; and for a +moment or two fancied, as she turned it all over in her mind, that, +even yet, if such a marriage were to take place, there might grow up +something like true regard between her and the old squire. How happy +would be her old age in that Small House, if Bell with her children +were living so close to her! + +"Well?" said the squire, who was looking very intently into her face. + +"I was thinking," said Mrs Dale. "Do you say that she has already +refused him?" + +"I am afraid she has; but then you know--" + +"It must of course be left for her to judge." + +"If you mean that she cannot be made to marry her cousin, of course we +all know she can't." + +"I mean rather more than that." + +"What do you mean, then? + +"That the matter must be left altogether to her own decision; that no +persuasion must be used by you or me. If he can persuade her, indeed--" +"Yes, exactly. He must persuade her. I quite agree with you that he +should have liberty to plead his own cause. But look you here, Mary--she +has always been a very good child to you--" + +"Indeed she has." + +"And a word from you would go a long way with her--as it ought. If she +knows that you would like her to marry her cousin, it will make her +think it her duty--" + +"Ah I but that is just what I cannot try to make her think." + +"Will you let me speak, Mary? You take me up and scold me before the +words are half out of my mouth. Of course I know that in these days a +young lady is not to be compelled into marrying anybody--not but that, +as far as I can see, they did better than they do now when they had not +quite so much of their own way." + +"I never would take upon myself to ask a child to marry any man." + +"But you may explain to her that it is her duty to give such a proposal +much thought before it is absolutely refused. A girl either is in love +or she is not. If she is, she is ready to jump down a man's throat; and +that was the case with Lily." + +"She never thought of the man till he had proposed to her fully." + +"Well, never mind now. But if a girl is not in love, she thinks she is +bound to swear and declare that she never will be so." + +"I don't think Bell ever declared anything of the kind." + +"Yes, she did. She told Bernard that she didn't love him and couldn't +love him--and, in fact, that she wouldn't think anything more about it. +Now, Mary, that's what I call being headstrong and positive. I don't +want to drive her, and I don't want you to drive her. But here is an +arrangement which for her will be a very good one; you must admit that. +We all know that she is on excellent terms with Bernard. It isn't as +though they had been falling out and hating each other all their lives. +She told him that she was very fond of him, and talked nonsense about +being his sister, and all that." + +"I don't see that it was nonsense at all." + +"Yes, it was nonsense--on such an occasion. If a man asks a girl to +marry him, he doesn't want her to talk to him about being his sister. I +think it is nonsense. If she would only consider about it properly she +would soon learn to love him." + +"That lesson, if it be learned at all, must be learned without any +tutor." + +"You won't do anything to help me then?" + +"I will, at any rate, do nothing to mar you. And, to tell the truth, I +must think over the matter fully before I can decide what I had better +say to Bell about it. From her not speaking to me--" + +"I think she ought to have told you." +"No, Mr Dale. Had she accepted him, of course she would have told me. +Had she thought of doing so she might probably have consulted me. But +if she made up her mind that she must reject him--" + +"She oughtn't to have made up her mind." + +"But if she did, it seems natural to me that she should speak of it to +no one. She might probably think that. Bernard would be as well pleased +that it should not be known." + +"Psha--known!--of course it will be known. As you want time to consider +of it, I will say nothing more now. If she were my daughter, I should +have no hesitation in telling her what I thought best for her welfare." + +"I have none; though I may have some in making up my mind as to what is +best for her welfare. But, Mr Dale, you may be sure of this; I will +speak to her very earnestly of your kindness and love for her. And I +wish you would believe that I feel your regard for her very strongly." + +In answer to this he merely shook his head, and hummed and hawed. "You +would be glad to see them married, as regards yourself?" he asked. + +"Certainly I would," said Mrs Dale. "I have always liked Bernard, and I +believe my girl would be safe with him. But then, you see, it's a +question on which my own likings or dislikings should not have any +bearing." + +And so they parted, the squire making his way back again through the +drawing-room window. He was not above half pleased with his interview; +but then he was a man for whom half-pleasure almost sufficed. He rarely +indulged any expectation that people would make themselves agreeable to +him. Mrs Dale, since she had come to the Small House, had never been a +source of satisfaction to him, but he did not on that account regret +that he had brought her there. He was a constant man; urgent in +carrying out his own plans, but not sanguine in doing so, and by no +means apt to expect that all things would go smooth with him. He had +made up his mind that his nephew and his niece should be married, and +should he ultimately fail in this, such failure would probably embitter +his future life--but it was not in the nature of the man to be angry in +the meantime, or to fume and scold because he met with opposition. He +had told Mrs Dale that he loved Bell dearly. So he did, though he +seldom spoke to her with much show of special regard, and never was +soft and tender with her. But, on the other hand, he did not now love +her the less because she opposed his wishes. He was a constant, +undemonstrative man, given rather to brooding than to thinking; harder +in his words than in his thoughts, with more of heart than others +believed, or than he himself knew; but, above all, he was a man who +having once desired a thing would desire it always. + +Mrs Dale, when she was left alone, began to turn over the question in +her mind in a much fuller manner than the squire's presence had as yet +made possible for her. Would not such a marriage as this be for them +all, the happiest domestic arrangement which circumstances could +afford? Her daughter would have no fortune, but here would be prepared +for her all the comforts which fortune can give. She would be received +into her uncle's house, not as some penniless, portionless bride whom +Bernard might have married and brought home, but as the wife whom of +all others Bernard's friends had thought desirable for him. And then, +as regarded Mrs Dale herself, there would be nothing in such a marriage +which would not be delightful to her. It would give a realisation to +all her dreams of future happiness. + +But, as she said to herself over and over again, all that must go for +nothing. It must be for Bell, and for her only, to answer Bernard's +question. In her mind there was something sacred in that idea of love. +She would regard her daughter almost as a castaway if she were to marry +any man without absolutely loving him--loving him as Lily loved her +lover, with all her heart and all her strength. + +With such a conviction as this strong upon her, she felt that she could +not say much to Bell that would be of any service. + + + +CHAPTER XX + +DR CROFTS + +If there was anything in the world as to which Isabella Dale was quite +certain, it was this--that she was not in love with Dr Crofts. As to +being in love with her cousin Bernard, she had never had occasion to +ask herself any question on that head. She liked him very well, but she +had never thought of marrying him; and now, when he made his proposal, +she could not bring herself to think of it. But as regards Dr Crofts, +she had thought of it, and had make up her mind--in the manner above +described. + +It may be said that she could not have been justified in discussing the +matter even within her own bosom, unless authorised to do so by Dr +Crofts himself. Let it then be considered that Dr Crofts had given her +some such authority. This may be done in more ways than one; and Miss +Dale could not have found herself asking herself questions about him, +unless there had been fitting occasion for her to do so. + +The profession of a medical man in a small provincial town is not often +one which gives to its owner in early life a large income. Perhaps in +no career has a man to work harder for what he earns, or to do more +work without earning anything. It has sometimes seemed to me as though +the young doctors and the old doctors had agreed to divide between them +the different results of their profession--the young doctors doing all +the work and the old doctors taking all the money. If this be so it may +account for that appearance of premature gravity which is borne by so +many of the medical profession. Under such an arrangement a man may be +excused for a desire to put away childish things very early in life. + +Dr Crofts had now been practising in Guestwick nearly seven years, +having settled himself in that town when he was twenty-three years old, +and being at this period about thirty. During those seven years his +skill and industry had been so fully admitted that he had succeeded in +obtaining the medical care of all the paupers in the union, for which +work he was paid at the rate of one hundred pounds a year. He was also +assistant-surgeon at a small hospital which was maintained in that +town, and held two or three other similar public positions, all of +which attested his respectability and general proficiency. They, +moreover, thoroughly saved him from any of the dangers of idleness; +but, unfortunately, they did not enable him to regard himself as a +successful professional man. Whereas old Dr Gruffen, of whom but few +people spoke well, had made a fortune in Guestwick, and even still drew +from the ailments of the town a considerable and hardly yet decreasing +income. Now this was hard upon Dr Crofts--unless there was existing some +such well-understood arrangement as that above named. + +He had been known to the family of the Dales long previous to his +settlement at Guestwick, and had been very intimate with them from that +time to the present day. Of all the men, young or old, whom Mrs Dale +counted among her intimate friends, he was the one whom she most +trusted and admired. And he was a man to be trusted by those who knew +him well. + +He was not bright and always ready, as was Crosbie, nor had he all the +practical worldly good sense of Bernard Dale. In mental power I doubt +whether he was superior to John Eames--to John Eames, such as he might +become when the period of his hobbledehoyhood should have altogether +passed away. But Crofts, compared with the other three, as they all +were at present, was a man more to be trusted than any of them. And +there was, moreover, about him an occasional dash of humour, without +which Mrs Dale would hardly have regarded him with that thorough liking +which she had for him. But it was a quiet humour, apt to show itself +when he had but one friend with him, rather than in general society. +Crosbie, on the other hand, would be much more bright among a dozen, +than he could with a single companion. Bernard Dale was never bright; +and as for Johnny Eames--but in this matter of brightness, Johnny Eames +had not yet shown to the world what his character might be. + +It was now two years since Crofts had been called upon for medical +advice on behalf of his friend Mrs Dale. She had then been ill for a +long period--some two or three months, and Dr Crofts had been frequent +in his visits at Allington. At that time he became very intimate with +Mrs Dale's daughters, and especially so with the eldest. Young +unmarried doctors ought perhaps to be excluded from homes in which +there are young ladies. I know, at any rate, that many sage matrons +hold very strongly to that opinion, thinking, no doubt, that doctors +ought to get themselves married before they venture to begin working +for a living. Mrs Dale, perhaps, regarded her own girls as still merely +children, for Bell, the elder, was then hardly eighteen; or perhaps she +held imprudent and heterodox opinions on this subject; or it may be +that she selfishly preferred Dr Crofts, with all the danger to her +children, to Dr Gruffen, with all the danger to herself. But the result +was that the young doctor one day informed himself, as he was riding +back to Guestwick, that much of his happiness in this world would +depend on his being able to marry Mrs Dale's eldest daughter. At that +time his total income amounted to little more than two hundred a year, +and he had resolved within his own mind that Dr Gruffen was esteemed as +much the better doctor by the general public opinion of Guestwick, and +that Dr Gruffen's sandy-haired assistant would even have a better +chance of success in the town than himself, should it ever come to pass +that the doctor was esteemed too old for personal practice. Crofts had +no fortune of his own, and he was aware that Miss Dale had none. Then, +under those circumstances, what was he to do? + +It is not necessary that we should inquire at any great length into +those love passages of the doctor's life which took place three years +before the commencement of this narrative. He made no declaration to +Bell; but Bell, young as she was, understood well that he would fain +have done so, had not his courage failed him, or rather had not his +prudence prevented him. To Mrs Dale he did speak, not openly avowing +his love even to her, but hinting at it, and then talking to her of his +unsatisfied hopes and professional disappointments. + +"It is not that I complain of being poor as I am," said he "or at any +rate, not so poor that my poverty must be any source of discomfort to +me; but I could hardly marry with such an income as I have at present." + +"But it will increase, will it not?" said Mrs Dale. + +"It may some day, when I am becoming an old man," he said. "But of what +use will it be to me then?" + +Mrs Dale could not tell him that, as far as her voice in the matter +went, he was welcome to woo her daughter and marry her, poor as he was, +and doubly poor as they would both be together on such a pittance. He +had not even mentioned Bell's name, and had he done so she could only +have bade him wait and hope. After that he said nothing further to her +upon the subject. To Bell he spoke no word of overt love; but on an +autumn day, when Mrs Dale was already convalescent, and the repetition +of his professional visits had become unnecessary, he got her to walk +with him through the half-hidden shrubbery paths, and then told her +things which he should never have told her, if he really wished to bind +her heart to his. He repeated that story of his income, and explained +to her that his poverty was only grievous to him in that it prevented +him from thinking of marriage. + +"I suppose it must," said Bell. + +"I should think it wrong to ask any lady to share such an income as +mine," said he. Whereupon Bell had suggested to him that some ladies +had incomes of their own, and that he might in that way get over the +difficulty. + +"I should be afraid of myself in marrying a girl with money," said he; +"besides, that is altogether out of the question now." Of course Bell +did not ask him why it was out of the question, and for a time they +went on walking in silence. + +"It is a hard thing to do," he then said--not looking at her, but +looking at the gravel on which he stood. + +"It is a hard thing to do, but I will determine to think of it no +further. I believe a man may be as happy single as he may +married--almost." + +"Perhaps more so," said Bell. Then the doctor left her, and Bell, as I +have said before, made up her mind with great firmness that she was not +in love with him. I may certainly say that there was nothing in the +world as to which she was so certain as she was of this. + +And now, in these days, Dr Crofts did not come over to Allington very +often. Had any of the family in the Small House been ill, he would have +been there of course. The squire himself employed the apothecary in the +village, or if higher aid was needed, would send for Dr Gruffen. On the +occasion of Mrs Dale's party, Crofts was there, having been specially +invited; but Mrs Dale's special invitations to her friends were very +few, and the doctor was well aware that he must himself make occasion +for going there if he desired to see the inmates of the house. But he +very rarely made such occasion, perhaps feeling that he was more in his +element at the workhouse and the hospital. + +Just at this time, however, he made one very great and unexpected step +towards success in his profession. He was greatly surprised one morning +by being summoned to the Manor House to attend upon Lord De Guest. The +family at the Manor had employed Dr Gruffen for the last thirty years, +and Crofts, when he received the earl's message, could hardly believe +the words. + +"The earl ain't very bad," said the servant, "but he would be glad to +see you if possible a little before dinner." + +"You're sure he wants to see me?" said Crofts. + +"Oh, yes; I'm sure enough of that, sir." + +"It wasn't Dr Gruffen? + +"No, sir; it wasn't Dr Gruffen. I believe his lordship's had about +enough of Dr Gruffen. The doctor took to chaffing his lordship one day." + +"Chaffed his lordship--his hands and feet, and that sort of thing?" +suggested the doctor. + +"Hands and feet!" said the man. + +"Lord bless you, sir, he poked his fun at him, just as though he was +nobody. I didn't hear, but Mrs Connor says that my lord's back was up +terribly high." And so Dr Crofts got on his horse and rode up to +Guestwick Manor. + +The earl was alone, Lady Julia having already gone to Courcy Castle. + +"How d'ye do, how d'ye do?" said the earl. + +"I'm not very ill, but I want to get a little advice from you. It's +quite a trifle, but I thought it well to see somebody." Whereupon Dr +Crofts of course declared that he was happy to wait upon his lordship. + +"I know all about you, you know," said the earl. + +"Your grandmother Stoddard was a very old friend of my aunt's. You +don't remember Lady Jemima?" + +"No," said Crofts. + +"I never had that honour." + +"An excellent old woman, and knew your grandmother Stoddard well. You +see, Gruffen has been attending us for I don't know how many years; but +upon my word" and then the earl stopped himself. + +"It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good," said Crofts, with a +slight laugh. + +"Perhaps it'll blow me some good, for Gruffen never did me any. The +fact is this; I'm very well, you know--as strong as a horse." + +"You look pretty well." + +"No man could be better--not of my age. I'm sixty, you know." + +"You don't look as though you were ailing." + +"I'm always out in the open air, and that, I take it, is the best thing +for a man." + +"There's nothing like plenty of exercise, certainly." + +"And I'm always taking exercise," said the earl. + +"There isn't a man about the place works much harder than I do. And, +let me tell you, sir, when you undertake to keep six or seven hundred +acres of land in your own hand, you must look after it, unless you mean +to lose money by it." + +"I've always heard that your lordship is a good farmer." + +"Well, yes; wherever the grass may grow about my place, it doesn't grow +under my feet. You won't often find me in bed at six o'clock, I can +tell you." + +After this Dr Crofts ventured to ask his lordship as to what special +physical deficiency his own aid was invoked at the present time. + +"Ah, I was just coming to that," said the earl. + +"They tell me it's a very dangerous practice to go to sleep after +dinner." + +"It's not very uncommon at any rate," said the doctor. + +"I suppose not; but Lady Julia is always at me about it. And, to tell +the truth, I think I sleep almost too sound when I get to my arm-chair +in the drawing-room. Sometimes my sister really can't wake me--so, at +least, she says." + +"And how's your appetite at dinner?" + +"Oh, I'm quite right there. I never eat any luncheon, you know, and +enjoy my dinner thoroughly. Then I drink three or four glasses of port +wine--" + +"And feel sleepy afterwards?" + +"That's just it," said the earl. + +It is not perhaps necessary that we should inquire what was the exact +nature of the doctor's advice; but it was, at any rate, given in such a +way that the earl said he would be glad to see him again. + +"And look here, Doctor Crofts, I'm all alone just at present. Suppose +you come over and dine with me tomorrow; then, if I should go to sleep, +you know, you'll be able to let me know whether Lady Julia doesn't +exaggerate. Just between ourselves, I don't quite believe all she says +about my--my snoring, you know." + +Whether it was that the earl restrained his appetite when at dinner +under the doctor's eyes, or whether the mid-day mutton chop which had +been ordered for him had the desired effect, or whether the doctor's +conversation was more lively than that of the Lady Julia, we will not +say; but the earl, on the evening in question, was triumphant. As he +sat in his easy-chair after dinner he hardly winked above once or +twice; and when he had taken the large bowl of tea, which he usually +swallowed in a semi-somnolent condition, he was quite lively. + +"Ah, yes," he said, jumping up and rubbing his eyes; "I think I do feel +lighter. I enjoy a snooze after dinner; I do indeed; I like it; but +then, when one comes to go to bed, one does it in such a sneaking sort +of way, as though one were in disgrace! And my sister, she thinks it a +crime--literally a sin, to go to sleep in a chair. Nobody ever caught +her napping! By-the-by, Dr Crofts, did you know that Mr Crosbie whom +Bernard Dale brought down to Allington? Lady Julia and he are staying +at the same house now." + +"I met him once at Mrs Dale's." + +"Going to marry one of the girls, isn't he?" + +Whereupon Dr Crofts explained that Mr Crosbie was engaged to Lilian +Dale. + +"Ah, yes; a nice girl I'm told. You know all those Dales are +connections of ours. My sister Fanny married their uncle Orlando. My +brother-in-law doesn't like travelling, and so I don't see very much of +him; but of course I'm interested about the family." + +"They're very old friends of mine," said Crafts. + +"Yes, I dare say. There are two girls, are there not?" + +"Yes, two." + +"And Miss Lily is the youngest. There's nothing about the elder one +getting married, is there? + +"I've not heard anything of it." + +"A very pretty girl she is, too. I remember seeing her at her uncle's +last year. I shouldn't wonder if she were to marry her cousin Bernard. +He is to have the property, you know; and he's my nephew." + +"I'm not quite sure that it's a good thing for cousins to marry," said +Crofts. + +"They do, you know, very often; and it suits some family arrangements. +I suppose Dale must provide for them, and that would take one off his +hands without any trouble." + +Dr Crofts didn't exactly see the matter in this light, but he was not +anxious to argue it very closely with the earl. + +"The younger one," he said, "has provided for herself." + +"What; by getting a husband? But I suppose Dale must give her +something. They're not married yet, you know, and, from what I hear, +that fellow may prove a slippery customer. He'll not marry her unless +old Dale gives her something. You'll see if he does. I'm told that he +has got another string to his bow at Courcy Castle." + +Soon after this, Crofts took his horse and rode home, having promised +the earl that he would dine with him again before long. + +"It'll be a great convenience to me if you'd come about that time," +said the earl, "and as you're a bachelor perhaps you won't mind it. +You'll come on Thursday at seven, will you? Take care of yourself. It's +as dark as pitch. John, go and open the first gates for Dr Crofts." And +then the earl took himself off to bed. + +Crofts, as he rode home, could not keep his mind from thinking of the +two girls at Allington. + +"He'll not marry her unless old Dale gives her something." Had it come +to that with the world, that a man must be bribed into keeping his +engagement with a lady? Was there no romance left among mankind--no +feeling of chivalry? + +"He's got another string to his bow at Courcy Castle," said the earl; +and his lordship seemed to be in no degree shocked as he said it. It +was in this tone that men spoke of women nowadays, and yet he himself +had felt such awe of the girl he loved, and such a fear lest he might +injure her in her worldly position, that he had not dared to tell her +that he loved her. + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +JOHN EAMES ENCOUNTERS TWO ADVENTURES, AND DISPLAYS GREAT COURAGE IN BOTH + +Lily thought that her lover's letter was all that it should be. She was +not quite aware what might be the course of post between Courcy and +Allington, and had not, therefore, felt very grievously disappointed +when the letter did not come on the very first day. She had, however, +in the course of the morning walked down to the post-office, in order +that she might be sure that it was not remaining there. + +"Why, miss, they all be delivered; you know that," said Mrs Crump, the +post-mistress. + +"But one might be left behind, I thought." + +"John Postman went up to the house this very day, with a newspaper for +your mamma. I can't make letters for people if folks don't write them." + +"But they are left behind sometimes, Mrs Crump. He wouldn't come up +with one letter if he'd got nothing else for anybody in the street." + +"Indeed but he would then. I wouldn't let him leave a letter here no +how, nor yet a paper. It's no good you're coming down here for letters, +Miss Lily. If he don't write to you, I can't make him do it." And so +poor Lily went home discomforted. + +But the letter came on the next morning, and all was right. According +to her judgment it lacked nothing, either in fulness or in affection. +When he told her how he had planned his early departure in order that +he might avoid the pain of parting with her on the last moment, she +smiled and pressed the paper, and rejoiced inwardly that she had got +the better of him as to that manoeuvre. And then she kissed the words +which told her that he had been glad to have her with him at the last +moment. When he declared that he had been happier at Allington than he +was at Courcy, she believed him thoroughly, and rejoiced that it should +be so. And when he accused himself of being worldly, she excused him, +persuading herself that he was nearly perfect in this respect as in +others. Of course a man living in London, and having to earn his bread +out in the world, must be more worldly than a country girl; but the +fact of his being able to love such a girl, to choose such a one for +his wife--was not that alone sufficient proof that the world had not +enslaved him? + +"My heart is on the Allington lawns," he said; and then, as she read +the words, she kissed the paper again. + +In her eyes, and to her ears, and to her heart, the letter was a +beautiful letter. I believe there is no bliss greater than that which a +thorough love-letter gives to a girl who knows that in receiving it she +commits no fault--who can open it before her father and mother with +nothing more than the slight blush which the consciousness of her +position gives her. And of all love-letters the first must be the +sweetest! What a value there is in every word! How each expression is +scanned and turned to the best account! With what importance are all +those little phrases invested, which too soon become mere phrases, used +as a matter of course. Crosbie had finished his letter by bidding God +bless her; "and you too," said Lily, pressing the letter to her bosom. + +"Does he say anything particular?" asked Mrs Dale. + +"Yes, mamma; it's all very particular." + +"But there's nothing for the public ear." + +"He sends his love to you and Bell." + +"We are very much obliged to him." + +"So you ought to be. And he says that he went to church going through +Barchester, and that the clergyman was the grandfather of that Lady +Dumbello. When he got to Courcy Castle Lady Dumbello was there." + +"What a singular coincidence!" said Mrs Dale. + +"I won't tell you a word more about his letter," said Lily. So she +folded it up, and put it in her pocket. But as soon as she found +herself alone in her own room, she had it out again, and read it over +some half-a-dozen times. + +That was the occupation of her morning--that, and the manufacture of +some very intricate piece of work which was intended for the adornment +of Mr Crosbie's person. Her hands, however, were very full of work--or, +rather, she intended that they should be full. She would take with her +to her new home, when she was married, all manner of household gear, +the produce of her own industry and economy. She had declared that she +wanted to do something for her future husband, and she would begin that +something at once. And in this matter she did not belie her promises to +herself, or allow her good intentions to evaporate unaccomplished. She +soon surrounded herself with harder tasks than those embroidered +slippers with which she indulged herself immediately after his +departure. And Mrs Dale and Bell--though in their gentle way they +laughed at her--nevertheless they worked with her, sitting sternly to +their long tasks, in order that Crosbie's house might not be empty when +their darling should go to take her place there as his wife. + +But it was absolutely necessary that the letter should be answered. It +would in her eyes have been a great sin to have let that day's post go +without carrying a letter from her to Courcy Castle--a sin of which she +felt no temptation to be guilty. It was an exquisite pleasure to her to +seat herself at her little table, with her neat desk and small +appurtenances for epistle-craft, and to feel that she had a letter to +write in which she had truly much to say. Hitherto her correspondence +had been uninteresting and almost weak in its nature. From her mother +and sister she had hardly been yet parted; and though she had other +friends, she had seldom found herself with very much to tell them by +post. What could she communicate to Mary Eames at Guestwick, which +should be in itself exciting as she wrote it? When she wrote to John +Eames, and told "Dear John" that mamma hoped to have the pleasure of +seeing him to tea at such an hour, the work of writing was of little +moment to her, though the note when written became one of the choicest +treasures of him to whom it was addressed. + +But now the matter was very different. When she saw the words "Dearest +Adolphus" on the paper before her, she was startled with their +significance. + +"And four months ago I had never even heard of him," she said to +herself, almost with awe. And now he was more to her, and nearer to +her, than even was her sister or her mother! She recollected how she +had laughed at him behind his back, and called him a swell on the first +day of his coming to the Small House, and how, also, she had striven, +in her innocent way, to look her best when called upon to go out and +walk with the stranger from London. He was no longer a stranger now, +but her own dearest friend. + +She had put down her pen that she might think of all this--by no means +for the first time--and then resumed it with a sudden start as though +fearing that the postman might be in the village before her letter was +finished. + +"Dearest Adolphus, I need not tell you how delighted I was when your +letter was brought to me this morning." But I will not repeat the whole +of her letter here. She had no incident to relate, none even so +interesting as that of Mr Crosbie's encounter with Mr Harding at +Barchester. She had met no Lady Dumbello, and had no counterpart to +Lady Alexandrina, of whom, as a friend, she could say a word in praise. +John Eames's name she did not mention, knowing that John Eames was not +a favourite with Mr Crosbie; nor had she anything to say of John Eames, +that had not been already said. He had, indeed, promised to come over +to Allington; but this visit had not been made when Lily wrote her +first letter to Crosbie. It was a sweet, good, honest love-letter, full +of assurances of unalterable affection and unlimited confidence, +indulging in a little quiet fun as to the grandees of Courcy Castle, +and ending with a promise that she would be happy and contented if she +might receive his letters constantly, and live with the hope of seeing +him at Christmas. + +"I am in time, Mrs Crump, am I not?" she said, as she walked into the +post-office. + +"Of course you be--for the next half-hour. T' postman--he bain't stirred +from t' ale'us yet. Just put it into t' box wull ye?" + +"But you won't leave it there?" + +"Leave it there! Did you ever hear the like of that? If you're afeared +to put it in, you can take it away; that's all about it, Miss Lily." +And then Mrs Crump turned away to her avocations at the washing-tub. +Mrs Crump had a bad temper, but perhaps she had some excuse. A separate +call was made upon her time with reference to almost every letter +brought to her office, and for all this, as she often told her friends +in profound disgust, she received as salary no more than "tuppence +farden a day. It don't find me in shoe-leather; no more it don't." As +Mrs Crump was never seen out of her own house, unless it was in church +once a month, this latter assertion about her shoe-leather could hardly +have been true. + +Lily had received another letter, and had answered it before Eames made +his promised visit to Allington. He, as will be remembered, had also +had a correspondence. He had answered Miss Roper's letter, and had +since that been living in fear of two things; in a lesser fear of some +terrible rejoinder from Amelia, and in a greater fear of a more +terrible visit from his lady-love. Were she to swoop down in very truth +upon his Guestwick home, and declare herself to his mother and sister +as his affianced bride, what mode of escape would then be left for him? +But this she had not yet done, nor had she even answered his cruel +missive. + +"What an ass I am to be afraid of her!" he said to himself as he walked +along under the elms of Guestwick manor, which overspread the road to +Allington. When he first went over to Allington after his return home, +he had mounted himself on horseback, and had gone forth brilliant with +spurs, and trusting somewhat to the glories of his dress and gloves. +But he had then known nothing of Lily's engagement. Now he was +contented to walk; and as he had taken up his slouched hat and stick in +the passage of his mother's house, he had been very indifferent as to +his appearance. He walked quickly along the road, taking for the first +three miles the shade of the Guestwick elms, and keeping his feet on +the broad greensward which skirts the outside of the earl's palings. + +"What an ass I am to be afraid of her!" And as he swung his big stick +in his hand, striking a tree here and there, and knocking the stones +from his path, he began to question himself in earnest, and to be +ashamed of his position in the world. + +"Nothing on earth shall make me marry her," he said; "not if they bring +a dozen actions against me. She knows as well as I do, that I have +never intended to marry her. It's a cheat from beginning to end. If she +comes down here, I'll tell her so before my mother." But as the vision +of her sudden arrival came before his eyes, he acknowledged to himself +that he still held her in great fear. He had told her that he loved +her. He had written as much as that. If taxed with so much, he must +confess his sin. + +Then, by degrees, his mind turned away from Amelia Roper to Lily Dale, +not giving him a prospect much more replete with enjoyment than that +other one. He had said that he would call at Allington before he +returned to town, and he was now redeeming his promise. But he did not +know why he should go there. He felt that he should sit silent and +abashed in Mrs Dale's drawing-room, confessing by his demeanour that +secret which it behoved him now to hide from every one. He could not +talk easily before Lily, nor could he speak to her of the only subject +which would occupy his thoughts when in her presence. If indeed, he +might find her alone But, perhaps that might be worse for him than any +other condition. + +When he was shown into the drawing-room there was nobody there. + +"They were here a minute ago, all three," said the servant girl. "If +you'll walk down the garden, Mr John, you'll be sure to find some of +'em." So John Eames, with a little hesitation, walked down the garden. + +First of all he went the whole way round the walks, meeting nobody. +Then he crossed the lawn, returning again to the farther end; and +there, emerging from the little path which led from the Great House, he +encountered Lily alone. + +"Oh, John," she said, how d'ye do? I'm afraid you did not find anybody +in the house. Mamma and Bell are with Hopkins, away in the large +kitchen-garden." + +"I've just come over," said Eames, "because I promised. I said I'd come +before I went back to London." + +"And they'll be very glad to see you, and so am I. Shall we go after +them into the other grounds? But perhaps you walked over and are tired." + +"I did walk," said Eames; "not that I am very tired." But in truth he +did not wish to go after Mrs Dale, though he was altogether at a loss +as to what he would say to Lily while remaining with her. He had +fancied that he would like to have some opportunity of speaking to her +alone before he went away--of making some special use of the last +interview which he should have with her before she became a married +woman. But now the opportunity was there, and he hardly dared to avail +himself of it. + +"You'll stay and dine with us," said Lily. + +"No, I'll not do that, for I especially told my mother that I would be +back." + +"I'm sure it was very good of you to walk so far to see us. If you +really are not tired, I think we will go to mamma, as she would be very +sorry to miss you." + +This she said, remembering at the moment what had been Crosbie's +injunctions to her about John Eames. But John had resolved that he +would say those words which he had come to speak, and that, as Lily was +there with him, he would avail himself of the chance which fortune had +given him. + +"I don't think I'll go into the squire's garden," he said. + +"Uncle Christopher is not there. He is about the farm somewhere." + +"If you don't mind, Lily, I think I'll stay here. I suppose they'll be +back soon. Of course I should like to see them before I go away to +London. But, Lily, I came over now chiefly to see you. It was you who +asked me to promise." + +Had Crosbie been right in those remarks of his? Had she been imprudent +in her little endeavour to be cordially kind to her old friend? + +"Shall we go into the drawing-room?" she said, feeling that she would +be in some degree safer there than out among the shrubs and paths of +the garden. And I think she was right in this. A man will talk of love +out among the lilacs and roses, who would be stricken dumb by the +demure propriety of the four walls of a drawing-room. John Eames also +had some feeling of this kind, for he determined to remain out in the +garden, if he could so manage it. + +"I don't want to go in unless you wish it," he said. + +"Indeed, I'd rather stay here. So, Lily, you're going to be married?" +And thus he rushed at once into the middle of his discourse. + +"Yes," said she, "I believe I am." + +"I have not told you yet that I congratulated you." + +"I have known very well that you did so in your heart. I have always +been sure that you wished me well." + +"Indeed I have. And if congratulating a person is hoping that she may +always be happy, I do congratulate you. But, Lily--"And then he paused, +abashed by the beauty, purity, and woman's grace which had forced him +to love her. + +"I think I understand all that you would say. I do not want ordinary +words to tell me that I am to count you among my best friends." + +"No, Lily; you don't understand all that I would say. You have never +known how often and how much I have thought of you; how dearly I have +loved you." + +"John, you must not talk of that now." + +"I cannot go without telling you. When I came over here, and Mrs Dale +told me that you were to be married to that man--" + +"You must not speak of Mr Crosbie in that way," she said, turning upon +him almost fiercely. + +"I did not mean to say anything disrespectful of him to you. I should +hate myself if I were to do so. Of course you like him better than +anybody else?" + +"I love him better than all the world besides." + +"And so do I love you better than all the world besides." And as he +spoke he got up from his seat and stood before her. + +"I know how poor I am, and unworthy of you; and only that you are +engaged to him, I don't suppose that I should now tell you. Of course +you couldn't accept such a one as me. But I have loved you ever since +you remember; and now that you are going to be his wife, I cannot but +tell you that it is so. You will go and live in London; but as to my +seeing you there, it will be impossible. I could not go into that man's +house." + +"Oh, John." + +"No, never; not if you became his wife. I have loved you as well as he +does. When Mrs Dale told me of it, I thought I should have fallen. I +went away without seeing you because I was unable to speak to you. I +made a fool of myself, and have been a fool all along. I am foolish now +to tell you this, but I cannot help it." + +"You will forget it all when you meet some girl that you can really +love." + +"And have I not really loved you? Well, never mind. I have said what I +came to say, and I will now go. If it ever happens that we are down in +the country together, perhaps I may see you again; but never in London. +Good-bye, Lily." And he put out his hand to her. + +"And won't you stay for mamma?" she said. + +"No. Give her my love, and to Bell. They understand all about it. They +will know why I have gone. If ever you should want anybody to do +anything for you, remember that I will do it, whatever it is." And as +he paced away from her across the lawn, the special deed in her favour +to which his mind was turned--that one thing which he most longed to do +on her behalf-was an act of corporal chastisement upon Crosbie. If +Crosbie would but ill-treat her--ill-treat her with some anti-nuptial +barbarity--and if only he could be called in to avenge her wrongs! And +as he made his way back along the road towards Guestwick, he built up +within his own bosom a castle in the air, for her part in which Lily +Dale would by no means have thanked him. + +Lily when she was left alone burst into tears. She had certainly said +very little to encourage her forlorn suitor, and had so borne herself +during the interview that even Crosbie could hardly have been +dissatisfied; but now that Eames was gone her heart became very tender +towards him. She felt that she did love him also--not at all as she +loved Crosbie, but still with a love that was tender, soft, and true. +If Crosbie could have known all her thoughts at that moment, I doubt +whether he would have liked them. She burst into tears, and then +hurried away into some nook where she could not be seen by her mother +and Bell on their return. + +Eames went on his way, walking very quietly, swinging his stick and +kicking through the dust, with his heart full of the scene which had +just passed. He was angry with himself, thinking that he had played his +part badly, accusing himself in that he had been rough to her, and +selfish in the expression of his love; and he was angry with her +because she had declared to him that she loved Crosbie better than all +the world besides. He knew that of course she must do so--that at any +rate it was to be expected that such was the case. Yet, he thought, she +might have refrained from saying so to him. + +"She chooses to scorn me now," he said to himself; "but the time may +come when she will wish that she had scorned him." That Crosbie was +wicked, bad, and selfish, he believed most fully. He felt sure that the +man would ill-use her and make her wretched. He had some slight doubt +whether he would marry her, and from this doubt he endeavoured to draw +a scrap of comfort. If Crosbie would desert her, and if to him might be +accorded the privilege of beating the man to death with his fists +because of this desertion, then the world would not be quite blank for +him. In all this he was no doubt very cruel to Lily--but then had not +Lily been very cruel to him? + +He was still thinking of these things when he came to the first of the +Guestwick pastures. The boundary of the earl's property was very +plainly marked, for with it commenced also the shady elms along the +roadside, and the broad green margin of turf, grateful equally to those +who walked and to those who rode. Eames had got himself on to the +grass, but, in the fulness of his thoughts, was unconscious of the +change in his path, when he was startled by a voice in the next field +and the loud bellowing of a bull. Lord de Guest's choice cattle he knew +were there, and there was one special bull which was esteemed by his +lordship as of great value, and regarded as a high favourite. The +people about the place declared that the beast was vicious, but Lord de +Guest had often been heard to boast that it was never vicious with him. + +"The boys tease him, and the men are almost worse than the boys," said +the earl; "but he'll never hurt any one that has not hurt him." Guided +by faith in his own teaching the earl had taught himself to look upon +his bull as a large, horned, innocent lamb of the flock. + +As Eames paused on the road, he fancied that he recognised the earl's +voice, and it was the voice of one in distress. Then the bull's roar +sounded very plain in his ear, and almost close--upon hearing which he +rushed on to the gate, and, without much thinking what he was doing, +vaulted over it, and advanced a few steps into the field. + +"Halloo!" shouted the earl. "There's a man. Come on." And then his +continued shoutings hardly formed themselves into intelligible words; +but Eames plainly understood that he was invoking assistance under +great pressure and stress of circumstances. The bull was making short +runs at his owner, as though determined in each run to have a toss at +his lordship; and at each run the earl would retreat quickly for a few +paces, but he retreated always facing his enemy, and as the animal got +near to him, would make digs at his face with the long spud which he +carried in his hand. But in thus making good his retreat he had been +unable to keep in a direct line to the gate, and there seemed to be +great danger lest the bull should succeed in pressing him up against +the hedge. + +"Come on!" shouted the earl, who was fighting his battle manfully, but +was by no means anxious to carry off all the laurels of the victory +himself. + +"Come on, I say!" Then he stopped in his path, shouted into the bull's +face, brandished his spud, and threw about his arms, thinking that he +might best dismay the beast by the display of these warlike gestures. + +Johnny Eames ran on gallantly to the peer's assistance, as he would +have run to that of any peasant in the land. He was one to whom I +should be perhaps wrong to attribute at this period of his life the +gift of very high courage. He feared many things which no man should +fear; but he did not fear personal mishap or injury to his own skin and +bones. When Cradell escaped out of the house in Burton Crescent, making +his way through the passage into the outer air, he did so because he +feared that Lupex would beat him or kick him, or otherwise ill-use him. +John Eames would also have desired to escape under similar +circumstances; but he would have so desired because he could not endure +to be looked upon in his difficulties by the people of the house, and +because his imagination would have painted the horrors of a policeman +dragging him off with a black eye and a torn coat. There was no one to +see him now, and no policeman to take offence. Therefore he rushed to +the earl's assistance, brandishing his stick, and roaring in emulation +of the bull. + +When the animal saw with what unfairness he was treated, and that the +number of his foes was doubled, while no assistance had lent itself on +his side, he stood for a while, disgusted by the injustice of humanity. +He stopped, and throwing his head up to the heavens, bellowed out his +complaint. + +"Don't come close!" said the earl, who was almost out of breath. + +"Keep a little apart. Ugh! ugh! whoop, whoop!" And he threw up his arms +manfully, jobbing about with his spud, ever and anon rubbing the +perspiration from off his eyebrows with the back of his hand. + +As the bull stood pausing, meditating whether under such circumstances +flight would not be preferable to gratified passion, Eames made a rush +in at him, attempting to hit him on the head. + +The earl, seeing this, advanced a step also, and got his spud almost up +to the animal's eye. But these indignities the beast could not stand. +He made a charge, bending his head first towards John Eames, and then, +with that weak vacillation which is as disgraceful in a bull as in a +general, he changed his purpose, and turned his horns upon his other +enemy. The consequence was that his steps carried him in between the +two, and that the earl and Eames found themselves for a while behind +his tail. + +"Now for the gate," said the earl. + +"Slowly does it; slowly does it; don't run!" said Johnny, assuming in +the heat of the moment a tone of counsel which would have been very +foreign to him under other circumstances. + +The earl was not a whit offended. +"All right," said he, taking with a backward motion the direction of +the gate. Then as the bull again faced towards him, he jumped from the +ground, labouring painfully with arms and legs, and ever keeping his +spud well advanced against the foe. Eames, holding his position a +little apart from his friend, stooped low and beat the ground with his +stick, and as though defying the creature. The bull felt himself +defied, stood still and roared, and then made another vacillating +attack. + +"Hold on till we reach the gate," said Eames. + +"Ugh! ugh! Whoop! whoop!" shouted the earl. And so gradually they made +good their ground. + +"Now get over," said Eames, when they had both reached the corner of +the field in which the gate stood. + +"And what'll you do?" said the earl. + +"I'll go at the hedge to the right." And Johnny as he spoke dashed his +stick about, so as to monopolise, for a moment, the attention of the +brute. The earl made a spring at the gate, and got well on to the upper +rung. The bull seeing that his prey was going, made a final rush upon +the earl and struck the timber furiously with his head, knocking his +lordship down on the other side. Lord de Guest was already over, but +not off the rail; and thus, though he fell, he fell in safety on the +sward beyond the gate. He fell in safety, but utterly exhausted. Eames, +as he had purposed, made a leap almost sideways at a thick hedge which +divided the field from one of the Guestwick copses. There was a fairly +broad ditch, and on the other side a quickset hedge, which had, +however, been weakened and injured by trespassers at this corner, close +to the gate. Eames was young and active and jumped well. He jumped so +well that he carried his body full into the middle of the quickset, and +then scrambled through to the other side, not without much injury to +his clothes, and some damage also to his hands and face. + +The beast, recovering from his shock against the wooden bars, looked +wistfully at his last retreating enemy, as he still struggled amidst +the bushes. He looked at the ditch and at the broken hedge, but he did +not understand how weak were the impediments in his way. He had knocked +his head against the stout timber, which was strong enough to oppose +him, but was dismayed by the brambles which he might have trodden under +foot without an effort How many of us are like the bull, turning away +conquered by opposition which should be as nothing to us, and breaking +our feet, and worse still, our hearts, against rocks of adamant. The +bull at last made up his mind that he did not dare to face the hedge; +so he gave one final roar, and then turning himself round, walked +placidly back amidst the herd. + +Johnny made his way on to the road by a stile that led out of the +copse, and was soon standing over the earl, while the blood ran down +his cheeks from the scratches. One of the legs of his trousers had been +caught by a stake, and was torn from the hip downward, and his hat was +left in the field, the only trophy for the bull. + +"I hope you're not hurt, my lord," he said. + +"Oh dear, no; but I'm terribly out of breath. Why, you're bleeding all +over. He didn't get at you, did he?" + +"It's only the thorns in the hedge," said Johnny, passing his hand over +his face. + +"But I've lost my hat." + +"There are plenty more hats," said the earl. + +"I think I'll have a try for it," said Johnny, with whom the means of +getting hats had not been so plentiful as with the earl. + +"He looks quiet now." And he moved towards the gate. + +But Lord de Guest jumped upon his feet, and seized the young man by the +collar of his coat. + +"Go after your hat!" said he. + +"You must be a fool to think of it. If you're afraid of catching cold, +you shall have mine." + +"I'm not the least afraid of catching cold," said Johnny. + +"Is he often like that, my lord?" And he made a motion with his head +towards the bull. + +"The gentlest creature alive; he's like a lamb generally--just like a +lamb. Perhaps he saw my red pocket-handkerchief." And Lord de Guest +showed his friend that he carried such an article. + +"But where should I have been if you hadn't come up?" + +"You'd have got to the gate, my lord." + +"Yes; with my feet foremost, and four men carrying me. I'm very +thirsty. You don't happen to carry a flask, do you?" + +"No, my lord, I don't." + +"Then we'll make the best of our way home, and have a glass of wine +there." And on this occasion his lordship intended that his offer +should be accepted. + + + +CHAPTER XXII + +LORD DE GUEST AT HOME + +The earl and John Eames, after their escape from the bull, walked up to +the Manor House together. + +"You can write a note to your mother, and I'll send it by one of the +boys," said the earl. This was his lordship's answer when Eames +declined to dine at the Manor House, because he would be expected home. + +"But I'm so badly off for clothes, my lord," pleaded Johnny. "I tore my +trousers in the hedge." + +"There will be nobody there beside us two and Dr Crofts. The doctor +will forgive you when he hears the story; and as for me, I didn't care +if you hadn't a stitch to your back. You'll have company back to +Guestwick, so come along." + +Eames had no further excuse to offer, and therefore did as he was +bidden. He was by no means as much at home with the earl now as during +those minutes of the combat. He would rather have gone home, being +somewhat ashamed of being seen in his present tattered and bare-headed +condition by the servants of the house; and moreover, his mind would +sometimes revert to the scene which had taken place in the garden at +Allington. But he found himself obliged to obey the earl, and so he +walked on with him through the woods. + +The earl did not say very much, being tired and somewhat thoughtful. In +what little he did say he seemed to be specially hurt by the +ingratitude of the bull towards himself. + +"I never teased him, or annoyed him in any way." + +"I suppose they are dangerous beasts?" said Eames. + +"Not a bit of it, if they're properly treated. It must have been my +handkerchief, I suppose. I remember that I did blow my nose." + +He hardly said a word in the way of thanks to his assistant. + +"Where should I have been if you had not come to me?" he had exclaimed +immediately after his deliverance; but having said that he didn't think +it necessary to say much more to Eames. But he made himself very +pleasant, and by the time he had reached the house his companion was +almost glad that he had been forced to dine at the Manor House. + +"And now we'll have a drink," said the earl. "I don't know how you +feel, but I never was so thirsty in my life." + +Two servants immediately showed themselves, and evinced some surprise +at Johnny's appearance. + +"Has the gentleman hurt hisself, my lord?" asked the butler, looking at +the blood upon our friend's face. + +"He has hurt his trousers the worst, I believe," said the earl. "And if +he was to put on any of mine they'd be too short and too big, wouldn't +they? I am sorry you should be so uncomfortable, but you mustn't mind +it for once." + +"I don't mind it a bit," said Johnny. + +"And I'm sure I don't," said the earl. + +"Mr Eames is going to dine here, Vickers." + +"Yes, my lord." + +"And his hat is down in the middle of the nineteen acres. Let three or +four men go for it." + +"Three or four men, my lord!" + +"Yes--three or four men. There's something gone wrong with that bull. +And you must get a boy with a pony to take a note into Guestwick, to +Mrs Eames. Oh dear, I'm better now," and he put down the tumbler from +which he'd been drinking. + +"Write your note here, and then we'll go and see my pet pheasants +before dinner." + +Vickers and the footman knew that something had happened of much +moment, for the earl was usually very particular about his +dinner-table. He expected every guest who sat there to be dressed in +such guise as the fashion of the day demanded; and he himself, though +his morning costume was by no means brilliant, never dined, even when +alone, without having put himself into a suit of black, with a white +cravat, and having exchanged the old silver hunting-watch which he +carried during the day tied round his neck by a bit of old ribbon, for +a small gold watch, with a chain and seals, which in the evening always +dangled over his waistcoat. Dr Gruffen had once been asked to dinner at +Guestwick Manor. + +"Just a bachelor's chop," said the earl; "for there's nobody at home +but myself." Whereupon Dr Gruffen had come in coloured trousers--and had +never again been asked to dine at Guestwick Manor. All this Vickers +knew well; and now his lordship had brought young Eames home to dine +with him with his clothes all hanging about him in a manner which +Vickers declared in the servants' hall wasn't more than half decent. +Therefore, they all knew that something very particular must have +happened. + +"It's some trouble about the bull, I know," said Vickers--"but bless +you, the bull couldn't have tore his things in that way!" + +Eames wrote his note, in which he told his mother that he had had an +adventure with Lord de Guest, and that his lordship had insisted on +bringing him home to dinner. + +"I have torn my trousers all to pieces," he added in a postscript, "and +have lost my hat. Everything else is all right." He was not aware that +the earl also sent a short note to Mrs Eames. + +DEAR MADAM (ran the earl's note)--Your son has, under Providence, +probably saved my life. I will leave the story for him to tell. He has +been good enough to accompany me home, and will return to Guestwick +after dinner with Dr Crofts, who dines here. I congratulate you on +having a son with so much cool courage and good feeling. + +Your very faithful servant, + +DE GUEST. + +GUESTWICK MANOR, + +Thursday, October, 186- + +And then they went to see the pheasants. + +"Now, I'll tell you what," said the earl. + +"I advise you to take to shooting. It's the amusement of a gentleman +when a man chances to have the command of game." + +"But I'm always up in London." + +"No, you're not. You're not up in London now. You always have your +holidays. If you choose to try it, I'll see that you have shooting +enough while you're here. It's better than going to sleep under the +trees. Ha, ha, ha! I wonder what made you lay yourself down there. You +hadn't been fighting a bull that day?" + +"No, my lord. I hadn't seen the bull then." + +"Well; you think of what I've been saying. When I say a thing, I mean +it. You shall have shooting enough, if you have a mind to try it." Then +they looked at the pheasants, and pottered about the place till the +earl said it was time to dress for dinner. + +"That's hard upon you, isn't it?" said he. "But, at any rate, you can +wash your hands, and get rid of the blood. I'll be down in the little +drawing-room five minutes before seven, and I suppose I'll find you +there." + +At five minutes before seven Lord de Guest came into the small +drawing-room, and found Johnny seated there, with a book before him. +The earl was a little fussy, and showed by his manner that he was not +quite at his ease, as some men do when they have any piece of work on +hand which is not customary with them. He held something in his hand, +and shuffled a little as he made his way up the room. He was dressed, +as usual, in black; but his gold chain was not, as usual, dangling over +his waistcoat. + +"Eames," he said, "I want you to accept a little present from me--just +as a memorial of our affair with the bull. It will make you think of it +sometimes, when I'm perhaps gone." + +"Oh, my lord--" + +"It's my own watch, that I have been wearing for some time; but I've +got another--two or three, I believe, somewhere upstairs. You mustn't +refuse me. I can't bear being refused. There are two or three little +seals, too, which I have worn. I have taken off the one with my arms, +because that's of no use to you, and it is to me. It doesn't want a +key, but winds up at the handle, in this way," and the earl proceeded +to explain the nature of the toy. + +"My lord, you think too much of what happened today," said Eames, +stammering. + +"No, I don't; I think very little about it. I know what I think of. Put +the watch in your pocket before the doctor comes. There; I hear his +horse. Why didn't he drive over, and then he could have taken you back?" + +"I can walk very well." + +"I'll make that all right. The servant shall ride Crofts' horse, and +bring back the little phaeton. How d'you do, doctor? You know Eames, I +suppose? You needn't look at him in that way. His leg is not broken; +it's only his trousers." And then the earl told the story of the bull. + +"Johnny will become quite a hero in town," said Crofts. + +"Yes; I fear he'll get the most of the credit; and yet I was at it +twice as long as he was. I'll tell you what, young men, when I got to +that gate I didn't think I'd breath enough left in me to get over it. +It's all very well jumping into a hedge when you're only +two-and-twenty; but when a man comes to be sixty he likes to take his +time about such things. Dinner ready, is it? So am I. I quite forgot +that mutton chop of yours today, doctor. But I suppose a man may eat a +good dinner after a fight with a bull?" + +The evening passed by without any very pleasurable excitement, and I +regret to say that the earl went fast to sleep in the drawing-room as +soon as he had swallowed his cup of coffee. During dinner he had been +very courteous to both his guests, but towards Eames he had used a +good-humoured and, almost affectionate familiarity. He had quizzed him +for having been found asleep under the tree, telling Crofts that he +had looked very forlorn. + +"So that I haven't a doubt about his being in love," said the earl. And +he had asked Johnny to tell the name of the fair one, bringing up the +remnants of his half-forgotten classicalities to bear out the joke. + +"If I am to take more of the severe Falernian," said he, laying his +hand on the decanter of port, + +"I must know the lady's name. Whoever she be, I'm well sure you need +not blush for her. What! you refuse to tell! Then I'll drink no more." +And so the earl had walked out of the dining-room; but not till he had +perceived by his guest's cheeks that the joke had been too true to be +pleasant. As he went, however, he leaned with his hand on Eames's +shoulder, and the servants looking on saw that the young man was to be +a favourite. + +"He'll make him his heir," said Vickers. + +"I shouldn't wonder a bit if he don't make him his heir." But to this +the footman objected, endeavouring to prove to Mr Vickers that, in +accordance with the law of the land, his lordship's second cousin, once +removed, whom the earl had never seen, but whom he was supposed to +hate, must be his heir. + +"A hearl can never choose his own heir, like you or me," said the +footman, laying down the law. + +"Can't he though really, now? That's very hard on him; isn't it?" said +the pretty housemaid. + +"Psha," said Vickers: "you know nothing about it. My lord could make +young Eames his heir tomorrow; that is, the heir of his property. He +couldn't make him a hearl, because that must go to the heirs of his +body. As to his leaving him the place here, I don't just know how +that'd be; and I'm sure Richard don't." + +"But suppose he hasn't got any heirs of his body?" asked the pretty +housemaid, who was rather fond of putting down Mr Vickers. + +"He must have heirs of his body," said the butler. "Everybody has 'em. +If a man don't know 'em himself, the law finds 'em out." And then Mr +Vickers walked away, avoiding further dispute. + +In the meantime, the earl was asleep upstairs, and the two young men +from Guestwick did not find that they could amuse themselves with any +satisfaction. Each took up a book; but there are times at which a man +is quite unable to read, and when a book is only a cover for his +idleness or dulness. At last, Dr Crofts suggested, in a whisper, that +they might as well begin to think of going home. + +"Eh; yes; what?" said the earl, "I'm not asleep." In answer to which +the doctor said that he thought he'd go home, if his lordship would let +him order his horse. But the earl was against fast bound in slumber, +and took no further notice of the proposition. + +"Perhaps we could get off without waking him," suggested Eames, in a +whisper. + +"Eh; what?" said the earl. So they both resumed their books, and +submitted themselves to their martyrdom for a further period of fifteen +minutes. At the expiration of that time, the footman brought in tea. + +"Eh, what? tea!" said the earl. + +"Yes, we'll have a little tea. I've heard every word you've been +saying." It was that assertion on the part of the earl which always +made Lady Julia so angry. + +"You cannot have heard what I have been saying, Theodore, because I +have said nothing," she would reply. + +"But I should have heard it if you had," the earl would rejoin, +snappishly. On the present occasion neither Crofts nor Eames +contradicted him, and he took his tea and swallowed it while still +three parts asleep. + +"If you'll allow me, my lord, I think I'll order my horse," said the +doctor. + +"Yes; horse--yes--" said the earl, nodding. + +"But what are you to do, Eames, if I ride?" said the doctor. + +"I'll walk," whispered Eames, in his very lowest voice. + +"What--what--what?" said the earl, jumping up on his feet. + +"Oh, ah, yes; going away, are you? I suppose you might as well, as sit +here and see me sleeping. But, doctor--I didn't snore, did I?" + +"Only occasionally." + +"Not loud, did I? Come, Eames, did I snore loud? + +"Well, my lord, you did snore rather loud two or three times." + +"Did I?" said the earl, in a voice of great disappointment. + +"And yet, do you know, I heard every word you said." + +The small phaeton had been already ordered, and the two young men +started back to Guestwick together, a servant from the house riding the +doctor's horse behind them. + +"Look here, Eames," said the earl, as they parted on the steps of the +hall door. + +"You're going back to town the day after tomorrow, you say, so I shan't +see you again?" + +"No, my lord", said Johnny. + +"Look you here, now. I shall be up for the Cattle-show before +Christmas. You must dine with me at my hotel, on the twenty-second of +December, Pawkins's, in Jermyn Street; seven o'clock, sharp. Mind you +do not forget, now. Put it down in your pocket-book when you get home. +Good-bye, doctor; good-bye. I see I must stick to that mutton chop in +the middle of the day." And then they drove off. + +"He'll make him his heir for certain," said Vickers to himself, as he +slowly returned to his own quarters. + +"You were returning from Allington, I suppose," said Crofts, "when you +came across Lord de Guest and the bull?" + +"Yes: I just walked over to say good-bye to them." + +"Did you find them all well?" + +"I only saw one. The other two were out" + +"Mrs Dale, was it?" + +"No; it was Lily." + +"Sitting alone, thinking of her fine London lover, of course. I suppose +we ought to look upon her as a very lucky girl. I have no doubt she +thinks herself so." + +"I'm sure I don't know," said Johnny. + +"I believe he's a very good young man," said the doctor; but I can't +say I quite liked his manner." + +"I should think not," said Johnny. +"But then in all probability he did not like mine a bit better, or +perhaps yours either. And if so it's all fair." + +"I don't see that it's a bit fair. He's a snob," said Eames "and I +don't believe that I am." He had taken a glass or two of the earl's +"severe Falernian," and was disposed to a more generous confidence, and +perhaps also to stronger language, than might otherwise have been the +case. + +"No; I don't think he is a snob," said Crofts. + +"Had he been so, Mrs Dale would have perceived it." + +"You'll see," said Johnny, touching up the earl's horse with energy as +he spoke. + +"You'll see. A man who gives himself airs is a snob; and he gives +himself airs. And I don't believe he's a straightforward fellow. It was +a bad day for us all when he came among them at Allington." + +"I can't say that I see that." + +"I do. But mind, I haven't spoken a word of this to any one. And I +don't mean. What would be the good? I suppose she must marry him now?" + +"Of course she must." + +"And be wretched all her life. Oh-h-h-h!" and he muttered a deep groan. + +"I'll tell you what it is, Crofts. He is going to take the sweetest +girl out of this country that ever was in it, and he don't deserve her." + +"I don't think she can be compared to her sister," said Crofts slowly. + +"What; not Lily?" said Eames, as though the proposition made by the +doctor were one that could not hold water for a minute. + +"I have always thought that Bell was the more admired of the two," said +Crofts. + +"I'll tell you what," said Eames. + +"I have never yet set my eyes on any human creature whom I thought so +beautiful as Lily Dale. And now that beast is going to marry her! I'll +tell you what, Crofts; I'll manage to pick a quarrel with him yet." +Whereupon the doctor, seeing the nature of the complaint from which his +companion was suffering, said nothing more, either about Lily or about +Bell. + +Soon after this Eames was at his own door, and was received there by +his mother and sister with all the enthusiasm due to a hero. + +"He has saved the earl's life!" Mrs Eames had exclaimed to her daughter +on reading Lord de Guest's note. + +"Oh, goodness!" and she threw herself back upon the sofa almost in a +fainting condition. + +"Saved Lord de Guest's life!" said Mary. + +"Yes--under Providence," said Mrs Eames, as though that latter fact +added much to her son's good deed. + +"But how did he do it?" + +"By cool courage and good feeling--so his lordship says. But I wonder +how he really did do it?" + +"Whatever way it was, he's torn all his clothes and lost his hat," said +Mary. + +"I don't care a bit about that," said Mrs Eames. + +"I wonder whether the earl has any interest at the Income-tax. What a +thing it would be if he could get Johnny a step. It would be seventy +pounds a year at once. He was quite right to stay and dine when his +lordship asked him. And so Dr Crofts is there. It couldn't have been +anything in the doctoring way, I suppose." + +"No, I should say not; because of what he says of his trousers." And so +the two ladies were obliged to wait for John's return. + +"How did you do it, John?" said his mother, embracing him, as soon as +the door was opened. + +"How did you save the earl's life?" said Mary, who was standing behind +her mother. + +"Would his lordship really have been killed, if it had not been for +you?" asked Mrs Eames. + +"And was he very much hurt?" asked Mary. + +"Oh, bother," said Johnny, on whom the results of the day's work, +together with the earl's Falernian, had made some still remaining +impression. On ordinary occasions, Mrs Eames would have felt hurt at +being so answered by her son; but at the present moment she regarded +him as standing so high in general favour that she took no offence. + +"Oh, Johnny, do tell us. Of course we must be very anxious to know it +all." + +"There's nothing to tell, except that a bull ran at the earl, as I was +going by; so I went into the field and helped him, and then he made me +stay and dine with him." + +"But his lordship says that you saved his life," said Mary. + +"Under Providence," added their mother. + +"At any rate, he has given me a gold watch and chain," said Johnny, +drawing the present out of his pocket. + +"I wanted a watch badly. All the same, I didn't like taking it." + +"It would have been very wrong to refuse," said his mother. + +"And I am so glad you have been so fortunate. And look here, Johnny: +when a friend like that comes in your way, don't turn your back on +him." Then, at last, he thawed beneath their kindness, and told them +the whole of the story. I fear that, in recounting the earl's efforts +with the spud, he hardly spoke of his patron with all that deference +which would have been appropriate. + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +MR PLANTAGENET PALLISER + +A week passed over Mr Crosbie's head at Courcy Castle without much +inconvenience to him from the well-known fact of his matrimonial +engagement. Both George de Courcy and John de Courcy had in their +different ways charged him with his offence, and endeavoured to annoy +him by recurring to the subject; but he did not care much for the wit +or malice of George or John de Courcy. The countess had hardly alluded +to Lily Dale after those few words which she said on the first day of +his visit, and seemed perfectly willing to regard his doings at +Allington as the occupation natural to a young man in such a position. +He had been seduced down to a dull country house, and had, as a matter +of course, taken to such amusements as the place afforded. He had shot +the partridges and made love to the young lady, taking those little +recreations as compensation for the tedium of the squire's society. +Perhaps he had gone a little too far with the young lady; but then no +one knew better than the countess how difficult it is for a young man +to go far enough without going too far. It was not her business to make +herself a censor on a young man's conduct. The blame, no doubt, rested +quite as much with Miss Dale as with him. She was quite sorry that any +young lady should be disappointed; but if girls will be imprudent, and +set their caps at men above their mark, they must encounter +disappointment. With such language did Lady de Courcy speak of the +affair among her daughters, and her daughters altogether agreed with +her that it was out of the question that Mr Crosbie should marry Lily +Dale. From Alexandrina he encountered during the week none of that +raillery which he had expected. He had promised to explain to her +before he left the castle all the circumstances of his acquaintance +with Lily, and she at last showed herself determined to demand the +fulfilment of this promise; but, previous to that, she said nothing to +manifest either offence or a lessened friendship. And I regret to say, +that in the intercourse which had taken place between them, that +friendship was by no means less tender that it had been in London. + +"And when will you tell me what you promised?" she asked him one +afternoon, speaking in a low voice, as they were standing together at +the window of the billiard-room, in that idle half-hour which always +occurs before the necessity for dinner preparation has come. She had +been riding and was still in her habit, and he had returned from +shooting. She knew that she looked more than ordinarily well in her +tall straight hat and riding gear, and was wont to hang about the +house, walking skilfully with her upheld drapery, during this period of +the day. It was dusk, but not dark, and there was no artificial light +in the billiard-room. There had been some pretence of knocking about +the balls, but it had been only pretence. + +"Even Diana," she had said, "could not have played billiards in a +habit. "Then she had put down her mace, and they had stood talking +together in the recess of a large bow-window. + +"And what did I promise?" said Crosbie. + +"You know well enough. Not that it is a matter of any special interest +to me; only, as you undertook to promise, of course my curiosity has +been raised." + +"If it be of no special interest" said Crosbie, "you will not object to +absolve me from my promise." + +"That is just like you," she said. "And how false you men always are. +You made up your mind to buy my silence on a distasteful subject by +pretending to offer me your future confidence; and now you tell me that +you do not mean to confide in me." + +"You begin by telling me that the matter is one that does not in the +least interest you." + +"That is so false again! You know very well what I meant. Do you +remember what you said to me the day you came? and am I not bound to +tell you after that, that your marriage with this or that young lady is +not matter of special interest to me? Still, as your friend--" + +"Well, as my friend!" + +"I shall be glad to know--But I am not going to beg for your confidence; +only I tell you this fairly, that no man is so mean in my eyes as a man +who fights under false colours." + +"And am I fighting under false colours?" + +"Yes, you are." And now, as she spoke, the Lady Alexandrina blushed +beneath her hat; and dull as was the remaining light of the evening, +Crosbie, looking into her face, saw her heightened colour. + +"Yes, you are. A gentleman is fighting under false colours who comes +into a house like this, with a public rumour of his being engaged, and +then conducts himself as though nothing of the kind existed. Of course, +it is not anything to me specially; but that is fighting under false +colours. Now, sir, you may redeem the promise you made me when you +first came here--or you may let it alone." + +It must be acknowledged that the lady was fighting her battle with much +courage, and also with some skill. In three or four days Crosbie would +be gone; and this victory, if it were ever to be gained, must be gained +in those three or four days. And if there were to be no victory, then +it would be only fair that Crosbie should be punished for his +duplicity, and that she should be avenged as far as any revenge might +be in her power. Not that she meditated any deep revenge, or was +prepared to feel any strong anger. She liked Crosbie as well as she had +ever liked any man. She believed that he liked her also. She had no +conception of any very strong passion, but conceived that a married +life was more pleasant than one of single bliss. She had no doubt that +he had promised to make Lily Dale his wife, but so had he previously +promised her, or nearly so. It was a fair game, and she would win it if +she could. If she failed, she would show her anger; but she would show +it in a mild, weak manner--turning up her nose at Lily before Crosbie's +face, and saying little things against himself behind his back. Her +wrath would not carry her much beyond that. + +"Now, sir, you may redeem the promise you made me when you first came +here--or you may let it alone." So she spoke, and then she turned her +face away from him, gazing out into the darkness. + +"Alexandrina!" he said. + +"Well, sir? But you have no right to speak to me in that style. You +know that you have no right to call me by my name in that way!" + +"You mean that you insist upon your title?" + +"All ladies insist on what you call their title, from gentlemen, except +under the privilege of greater intimacy than you have the right to +claim. You did not call Miss Dale by her Christian name till you had +obtained permission, I suppose?" + +"You used to let me call you so." + +"Never! Once or twice, when you have done so, I have not forbidden it, +as I should have done. Very well, sir, as you have nothing to tell me, +I will leave you. I must confess that I did not think you were such a +coward." And she prepared to go, gathering up the skirts of her habit, +and taking up the whip which she had laid on the window-sill. + +"Stay a moment, Alexandrina," he said; + +"I am not happy, and you should not say words intended to make me more +miserable." + +"And why are you unhappy?" + +"Because I will tell you instantly, if I may believe that I am telling +you only, and not the whole household." + +"Of course I shall not talk of it to others. Do you think that I cannot +keep a secret?" + +"It is because I have promised to marry one woman, and because I love +another. I have told you everything now; and if you choose to say again +that I am fighting under false colours I will leave the castle before +you can see me again." + +"Mr Crosbie!" + +"Now you know it all, and may imagine whether or no I am very happy. I +think you said it was time to dress--suppose we go?" And without further +speech the two went off to their separate rooms. + +Crosbie, as soon as he was alone in his chamber, sat himself down in +his arm-chair, and went to work striving to make up his mind as to his +future conduct. It must not be supposed that the declaration just made +by him had been produced solely by his difficulty at the moment. The +atmosphere of Courcy Castle had been at work upon him for the last week +past. And every word that he had heard, and every word that he had +spoken, had tended to destroy all that was good and true within him, +and to foster all that was selfish and false. He had said to himself a +dozen times during that week that he never could be happy with Lily +Dale, and that he never could make her happy. And then he had used the +old sophistry in his endeavour to teach himself that it was right to do +that which he wished to do. Would it not be better for Lily that he +should desert her, than marry her against the dictates of his own +heart? And if he really did not love her, would he not be committing a +greater crime in marrying her than in deserting her? He confessed to +himself that he had been very wrong in allowing the outer world to get +such a hold upon him, that the love of a pure girl like Lily could not +suffice for his happiness. But there was the fact, and he found himself +unable to contend against it. If by any absolute self-sacrifice he +could secure Lily's well-being, he would not hesitate for a moment. But +would it be well to sacrifice her as well as himself? + +He had discussed the matter in this way within his own breast, till he +had almost taught himself to believe that it was his duty to break off +his engagement with Lily; and he had also almost taught himself to +believe that a marriage with a daughter of the house of Courcy, would +satisfy his ambition and assist him in his battle with the world. That +Lady Alexandrina would accept him he felt certain, if he could only +induce her to forgive him for his sin in becoming engaged to Miss Dale. +How very prone she would be to forgiveness in this matter, he had not +divined, having not as yet learned how easily such a woman can forgive +such a sin, if the ultimate triumph be accorded to herself. + +And there was another reason which operated much with Crosbie, urging +him on in his present mood and wishes, though it should have given an +exactly opposite impulse to his heart. He had hesitated as to marrying +Lily Dale at once, because of the smallness of his income. Now he had a +prospect of considerable increase to that income. One of the +commissioners at his office had been promoted to some greater +commissionership, and it was understood by everybody that the secretary +at the General Committee Office would be the new commissioner. As to +that there was no doubt. But then the question had arisen as to the +place of secretary. Crosbie had received two or three letters on the +subject, and it seemed that the likelihood of his obtaining this step +in the world was by no means slight. It would increase his official +income from seven hundred a year to twelve, and would place him +altogether above the world. His friend, the present secretary, had +written to him, assuring him that no other probable competitor was +spoken of as being in the field against him. If such good fortune +awaited him, would it not smooth any present difficulty which lay in +the way of his marriage with Lily Dale? But, alas, he had not looked at +the matter in that light! Might not the countess help him to this +preferment? And if his destiny intended for him the good things of this +world--secretaryships, commissionerships, chairmanships, and such like, +would it not be well that he should struggle on in his upward path by +such assistance as good connections might give him? + +He sat thinking over it all in his own room on that evening. He had +written twice to Lily since his arrival at Courcy Castle. His first +letter has been given. His second was written much in the same tone; +though Lily, as she had read it, had unconsciously felt somewhat less +satisfied than she had been with the first. Expressions of love were +not wanting, but they were vague and without heartiness. They savoured +of insincerity, though there was nothing in the words themselves to +convict them. Few liars can lie with the full roundness and +self-sufficiency of truth; and Crosbie, bad as he was, had not yet +become bad enough to reach that perfection. He had said nothing to Lily +of the hopes of promotion which had been opened to him; but he had +again spoken of his own worldliness--acknowledging that he received an +unsatisfying satisfaction from the pomps and vanities of Courcy Castle. +In fact he was paving the way for that which he had almost resolved +that he would do, now he had told Lady Alexandrina that he loved her; +and he was obliged to confess to himself that the die was cast. + +As he thought of all this, there was not wanting to him some of the +satisfaction of an escape. Soon after making that declaration of love +at Allington he had begun to feel that in making it he had cut his +throat. He had endeavoured to persuade himself that he could live +comfortably with his throat cut in that way; and as long as Lily was +with him he would believe that he could do so; but as soon as he was +again alone he would again accuse himself of suicide. This was his +frame of mind even while he was yet at Allington, and his ideas on the +subject had become stronger during his sojourn at Courcy. But the +self-immolation had not been completed, and he now began to think that +he could save himself. I need hardly say that this was not all triumph +to him. Even had there been no material difficulty as to his desertion +of Lily--no uncle, cousin, and mother whose anger he must face--no vision +of a pale face, more eloquent of wrong in its silence than even uncle, +cousin, and mother, with their indignant storm of words--he was not +altogether heartless. How should he tell all this to the girl who had +loved him so well; who had so loved him, that, as he himself felt, her +love would fashion all her future life either for weal or for woe? + +"I am unworthy of her, and will tell her so," he said to himself. How +many a false hound of a man has endeavoured to salve his own conscience +by such mock humility? But he acknowledged at this moment, as he rose +from his seat to dress himself, that the die was cast, and that it was +open to him now to say what he pleased to Lady Alexandrina. + +"Others have gone through the same fire before," he said to himself, as +he walked downstairs, "and have come out scatheless." And then he +recalled to himself the names of various men of high repute in the +world who were supposed to have committed in their younger days some +such little mistake as that into which he had been betrayed. + +In passing through the hail he overtook Lady Julia de Guest, and was in +time to open for her the door of the drawing-room. He then remembered +that she had come into the billiard-room at one side, and had gone out +at the other, while he was standing with Alexandrina at the window. He +had not, however, then thought much of Lady Julia; and as he now stood +for her to pass by him through the door-way, he made to her some +indifferent remark. + +But Lady Julia was on some subjects a stern woman, and not without a +certain amount of courage. In the last week she had seen what had been +going on, and had become more and more angry. Though she had disowned +any family connection with Lily Dale, nevertheless she now felt for her +sympathy and almost affection. Nearly every day she had repeated +stiffly to the countess some incident of Crosbie's courtship and +engagement to Miss Dale--speaking of it as with absolute knowledge, as a +thing settled at all points. This she had done to the countess alone, +in the presence of the countess and Alexandrina, and also before all +the female guests of the castle. But what she had said was received +simply with an incredulous smile. + +"Dear me! Lady Julia," the countess had replied at last, + +"I shall begin to think you are in love with Mr Crosbie yourself; you +harp so constantly on this affair of his. One would think that young +ladies in your part of the world must find it very difficult to get +husbands, seeing that the success of one young lady is trumpeted so +loudly." For the moment, Lady Julia was silenced; but it was not easy +to silence her altogether when she had a subject for speech near her +heart. + +Almost all the Courcy world were assembled in the drawing-room as she +now walked into the room with Crosbie at her heels. When she found +herself near the crowd she turned round, and addressed him in a voice +more audible than that generally required for purposes of drawing-room +conversation. + +"Mr Crosbie," she said, "have you heard lately from our dear friend, +Lily Dale?" And she looked him full in the face, in a manner more +significant, probably, than even she had intended it to be. There was, +at once, a general hush in the room, and all eyes were turned upon her +and upon him. + +Crosbie instantly made an effort to bear the attack gallantly, but he +felt that he could not quite command his colour, or prevent a sudden +drop of perspiration from showing itself upon his brow. + +"I had a letter from Allington yesterday," he said. + +"I suppose you have heard of your brother's encounter with the bull? + +"The bull!" said Lady Julia. And it was instantly manifest to all that +her attack had been foiled and her flank turned. + +"Good gracious! Lady Julia, how very odd you are!" said the countess. + +"But what about the bull?" asked the Honourable George. + +"It seems that the earl was knocked down in the middle of one of his +own fields." + +"Oh, dear!" exclaimed Alexandrina. And sundry other exclamations were +made by all the assembled ladies. + +"But he wasn't hurt," said Crosbie. + +"A young man named Eames seems to have fallen from the sky and carried +off the earl on his back." + +"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" growled the other earl, as he heard of the +discomfiture of his brother peer. + +Lady Julia, who had received her own letters that day from Guestwick, +knew that nothing of importance had happened to her brother; but she +felt that she was foiled for that time. + +"I hope that there has not really been any accident," said Mr Gazebee, +with a voice of great solicitude. + +"My brother was quite well last night, thank you," said she. And then +the little groups again formed themselves, and Lady Julia was left +alone on the corner of a sofa. + +"Was that all an invention of yours, sir?" said Alexandrina to Crosbie. + +"Not quite. I did get a letter this morning from my friend Bernard +Dale--that old harridan's nephew; and Lord de Guest has been worried by +some of his animals. I wish I had told her that his stupid old neck had +been broken." + +"Fie, Mr Crosbie!" + +"What business has she to interfere with me? + +"But I mean to ask the same question that she asked, and you won't put +me off with a cock-and-bull story like that." But then, as she was +going to ask the question, dinner was announced. + +"And is it true that De Guest has been tossed by a bull?" said the +earl, as soon as the ladies were gone. He had spoken nothing during +dinner except what words he had muttered into the ear of Lady Dumbello. +It was seldom that conversation had many charms for him in his own +house; but there was a savour of pleasantry in the idea of Lord de +Guest having been tossed, by which even he was tickled. +"Only knocked down, I believe," said Crosbie. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" growled the earl; then he filled his glass, and allowed +some one else to pass the bottle. Poor man! There was not much left to +him now in the world which did amuse him. + +"I don't see anything to laugh at," said Plantagenet Palliser, who was +sitting at the earl's right hand, opposite to Lord Dumbello. + +"Don't you?" said the earl. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" + +"I'll be shot if I do. From all I hear De Guest is an uncommon good +farmer. And I don't see the joke of tossing a farmer merely because +he's a nobleman also. Do you?" and he turned round to Mr Gazebee, who +was sitting on the other side. The earl was an earl, and was also Mr +Gazebee's father-in-law. Mr Plantagenet Palliser was the heir to a +dukedom. Therefore, Mr Gazebee merely simpered, and did not answer the +question put to him. Mr Palliser said nothing more about it, nor did +the earl; and then the joke died away. + +Mr Plantagenet Palliser was the Duke of Omnium's heir--heir to that +nobleman's title and to his enormous wealth; and, therefore, was a man +of mark in the world. He sat in the House of Commons, of course. He was +about five-and-twenty years of age, and was, as yet, unmarried. He did +not hunt or shoot or keep a yacht, and had been heard to say that he +had never put a foot upon a race-course in his life. He dressed very +quietly, never changing the colour or form of his garments; and in +society was quiet, reserved, and very often silent. He was tall, +slight, and not ill-looking; but more than this cannot be said for his +personal appearance--except, indeed, this, that no one could mistake him +for other than a gentleman. With his uncle, the duke, he was on good +terms--that is to say, they had never quarrelled. A very liberal +allowance had been made to the nephew; but the two relatives had no +tastes in common, and did not often meet. Once a year Mr Palliser +visited the duke at his great country seat for two or three days, and +usually dined with him two or three times during the season in London. +Mr Palliser sat for a borough which was absolutely under the duke's +command; but had accepted his seat under the distinct understanding +that he was to take whatever part in politics might seem good to +himself. Under these well-understood arrangements, the duke and his +heir showed to the world quite a pattern of a happy family. + +"So different to the earl and Lord Porlock!" the people of West +Barsetshire used to say. For the estates, both of the duke and of the +earl, were situated in the western division of that county. + +Mr Palliser was chiefly known to the world as a rising politician. We +may say that he had everything at his command, in the way of pleasure, +that the world could offer him. He had wealth, position, power, and the +certainty of attaining the highest rank among, perhaps, the most +brilliant nobility of the world. He was courted by all who could get +near enough to court him. It is hardly too much to say that he might +have selected a bride from all that was most beautiful and best among +English women. If he would have bought race-horses, and have expended +thousands on the turf, he would have gratified his uncle by doing so. +He might have been the master of hounds, or the slaughterer of +hecatombs of birds. But to none of these things would he devote +himself. He had chosen to be a politician, and in that pursuit he +laboured with a zeal and perseverance which would have made his fortune +at any profession or in any trade. He was constant in committee-rooms +up to the very middle of August. He was rarely absent from any debate +of importance, and never from any important division. Though he seldom +spoke, he was always ready to speak if his purpose required it. No man +gave him credit for any great genius--few even considered that he could +become either an orator or a mighty statesman. But the world said that +he was a rising man, and old Nestor of the Cabinet looked on him as one +who would be able, at some far future day, to come among them as a +younger brother. Hitherto he had declined such inferior offices as had +been offered to him, biding his time carefully; and he was as yet tied +hand and neck to no party, though known to be liberal in all his +political tendencies. He was a great reader--not taking up a book here, +and another there, as chance brought books before him, but working +through an enormous course of books, getting up the great subject of +the world's history--filling himself full of facts--though perhaps not +destined to acquire the power of using those facts otherwise than as +precedents. He strove also diligently to become a linguist--not without +success, as far as a competent understanding of various languages. He +was a thin-minded, plodding, respectable man, willing to devote all his +youth to work, in order that in old age he might be allowed to sit +among the Councillors of the State. + +Hitherto his name had not been coupled by the world with that of any +woman whom he had been supposed to admire; but latterly it had been +observed that he had often been seen in the same room with Lady +Dumbello. It had hardly amounted to more than this; but when it was +remembered how undemonstrative were the two persons concerned--how +little disposed was either of them to any strong display of +feeling--even this was thought matter to be mentioned. He certainly +would speak to her from time to time almost with an air of interest; +and Lady Dumbello, when she saw that he was in the room, would be +observed to raise her head with some little show of life, and to look +round as though there were something there on which it might be worth +her while to allow her eyes to rest. When such innuendoes were abroad, +no one would probably make more of them than Lady de Courcy. Many, when +they heard that Mr Palliser was to be at the castle, had expressed +their surprise at her success in that quarter. Others, when they +learned that Lady Dumbello had consented to become her guest, had also +wondered greatly. But when it was ascertained that the two were to be +there together, her good-natured friends had acknowledged that she was +a very clever woman. To have either Mr Palliser or Lady Dumbello would +have been a feather in her cap; but to succeed in getting both, by +enabling each to know that the other would be there, was indeed a +triumph. As regards Lady Dumbello, however, the bargain was not fairly +carried out; for, after all, Mr Palliser came to Courcy Castle only for +two nights and a day, and during the whole of that day he was closeted +with sundry large blue-books. As for Lady de Courcy, she did not care +how he might be employed. Blue-books and Lady Dumbello were all the +same to her. Mr Palliser had been at Courcy Castle, and neither enemy +nor friend could deny the fact. + +This was his second evening; and as he had promised to meet his +constituents at Silverbridge at one p.m. on the following day, with the +view of explaining to them his own conduct and the political position +of the world in general; and as he was not to return from Silverbridge +to Courcy, Lady Dumbello, if she made any way at all, must take +advantage of the short gleam of sunshine which the present hour +afforded her. No one, however, could say that she showed any active +disposition to monopolise Mr Palliser's attention. When he sauntered +into the drawing-room she was sitting, alone, in a large, low chair, +made without arms, so as to admit the full expansion of her dress, but +hollowed and round at the back, so as to afford her the support that +was necessary to her. She had barely spoken three words since she had +left the dining-room, but the time had not passed heavily with her. +Lady Julia had again attacked the countess about Lily Dale and Mr +Crosbie, and Alexandrina, driven almost to rage, had stalked off to the +farther end of the room, not concealing her special concern in the +matter. + +"How I do wish they were married and done with," said the countess; +"and then we should hear no more about them." + +All of which Lady Dumbello heard and understood; and in all of it she +took a certain interest. She remembered such things, learning thereby +who was who, and regulating her own conduct by what she learned. She +was by no means idle at this or at other such times, going through, we +may say, a considerable amount of really hard work in her manner of +working. There she had sat speechless, unless when acknowledging by a +low word of assent some expression of flattery from those around her. +Then the door opened, and when Mr Palliser entered she raised her head, +and the faintest possible gleam of satisfaction might have been +discerned upon her features. But she made no attempt to speak to him; +and when, as he stood at the table, he took up a book and remained thus +standing for a quarter of an hour, she neither showed nor felt any +impatience. After that Lord Dumbello came in, and he stood at the table +without a book. Even then Lady Dumbello felt no impatience. + +Plantagenet Palliser skimmed through his little book, and probably +learned something. When he put it down he sipped a cup of tea, and +remarked to Lady de Courcy that he believed it was only twelve miles to +Silverbridge. + +"I wish it was a hundred and twelve," said the countess. + +"In that case I should be forced to start to-night," said Mr Palliser. + +"Then I wish it was a thousand and twelve," said Lady de Courcy. + +"In that case I should not have come at all," said Mr Palliser. He did +not mean to be uncivil, and had only stated a fact. + +"The young men are becoming absolute bears," said the countess to her +daughter Margaretta. + +He had been in the room nearly an hour when he did at last find himself +standing close to Lady Dumbello: close to her, and without any other +very near neighbour. + +"I should hardly have expected to find you here," he said. + +"Nor I you," she answered. + +"Though, for the matter of that, we are both near our own homes." + +"I am not near mine." + +"I meant Plumstead; your father's place." + +"Yes; that was my home once." + +"I wish I could show you my uncle's place. The castle is very fine, and +he has some good pictures." + +"So I have heard." + +"Do you stay here long?" + +"Oh, no. I go to Cheshire the day after tomorrow. Lord Dumbello is +always there when the hunting begins." + +"Ah, yes; of course. What a happy fellow he is; never any work to do! +His constituents never trouble him, I suppose? + +"I don't think they ever do, much." + +After that Mr Palliser sauntered away again, and Lady Dumbello passed +the rest of the evening in silence. It is to be hoped that they both +were rewarded by that ten minutes of sympathetic intercourse for the +inconvenience which they had suffered in coming to Courcy Castle. + +But that which seems so innocent to us had been looked on in a +different light by the stern moralists of that house. + +"By Jove!" said the Honourable George to his cousin, Mr Gresham, + +"I wonder how Dumbello likes it." + +"It seems to me that Dumbello takes it very easily." + +"There are some men who will take anything easily," said George, who, +since his own marriage, had learned to have a holy horror of such +wicked things. + +"She's beginning to come out a little," said Lady Clandidlem to Lady de +Courcy, when the two old women found themselves together over a fire in +some back sitting-room. + +"Still waters always run deep, you know." + +"I shouldn't at all wonder if she were to go off with him," said Lady +de Courcy. + +"He'll never be such a fool as that," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"I believe men will be fools enough for anything," said Lady de Courcy. + +"But, of course, if he did, it would come to nothing afterwards. I know +one who would not be sorry. If ever a man was tired of a woman, Lord +Dumbello is tired of her." + +But in this, as in almost everything else, the wicked old woman spoke +scandal. Lord Dumbello was still proud of his wife, and as fond of her +as a man can be of a woman whose fondness depends upon mere pride. + +There had not been much that was dangerous in the conversation between +Mr Palliser and Lady Dumbello, but I cannot say the same as to that +which was going on at the same moment between Crosbie and Lady +Alexandrina. She, as I have said, walked away in almost open dudgeon +when Lady Julia recommenced her attack about poor Lily, nor did she +return to the general circle during the evening. There were two huge +drawing-rooms at Courcy Castle, joined together by a narrow link of a +room, which might have been called a passage, ha it not been lighted by +two windows coming down to the floor, carpeted as were the +drawing-rooms, and warmed with a separate fireplace. Hither she betook +herself, and was soon followed by her married sister Amelia. + +"That woman almost drives me mad," said Alexandrina, as they stood +together with their toes upon the fender. + +"But, my dear, you of all people should not allow yourself to be driven +mad on such a subject." + +"That's all very well, Amelia." + +"The question is this, my dear--what does Mr Crosbie mean to do?" + +"How should I know?" + +"If you don't know, it will be safer to suppose that he is going to +marry this girl; and in that case--" + +"Well, what in that case? Are you going to be another Lady Julia? What +do I care about the girl?" + +"I don't suppose you care much about the girl; and if you care as +little about Mr Crosbie, there's an end of it; only in that case, +Alexandrina--" + +"Well, what in that case? + +"You know I don't want to preach to you. Can't you tell me at once +whether you really like him? You and I have always been good friends." +And the married sister put her arm affectionately round the waist of +her who wished to be married. + +"I like him well enough." + +"And has he made any declaration to you?" + +"In a sort of a way he has. Hark, here he is!" And Crosbie, coming in +from the larger room, joined the sisters at the fireplace. + +"We were driven away by the clack of Lady Julia's tongue," said the +elder. + +"I never met such a woman," said Crosbie. + +"There cannot well be many like her," said Alexandrina. And after that +they all stood silent for a minute or two. Lady Amelia Gazebee was +considering whether or no she would do well to go and leave the two +together. If it were intended that Mr Crosbie should marry her sister, +it would certainly be well to give him an opportunity of expressing +such a wish on his own part. But if Alexandrina was simply making a +fool of herself, then it would be well for her to stay. + +"I suppose she would rather I should go," said the elder sister to +herself; and then, obeying the rule which should guide all our actions +from one to another, she went back and joined the crowd. + +"Will you come on into the other room?" said Crosbie. +"I think we are very well here," Alexandrina replied. + +"But I wish to speak to you--particularly," said he. + +"And cannot you speak here?" + +"No. They will be passing backwards and forwards." Lady Alexandrina +said nothing further, but led the way into the other large room. That +also was lighted, and there were in it four or live persons. Lady +Rosina was reading a work on the millennium, with a light to herself in +one corner. Her brother John was asleep in an arm-chair, and a young +gentleman and lady were playing chess. There was, however, ample room +for Crosbie and Alexandrina to take up a position apart. + +"And now, Mr Crosbie, what have you got to say to me? But, first, I +mean to repeat Lady Julia's question, as I told you that I should +do.--When did you hear last from Miss Dale?" + +"It is cruel in you to ask me such a question, after what I have +already told you. You know that I have given to Miss Dale a promise of +marriage." + +"Very well, sir. I don't see why you should bring me in here to tell me +anything that is so publicly known as that. With such a herald as Lady +Julia it was quite unnecessary." + +"If you can only answer me in that tone I will make an end of it at +once. When I told you of my engagement, I told you also that another +woman possessed my heart. Am I wrong to suppose that you knew to whom I +alluded?" + +"Indeed, I did not, Mr Crosbie. I am no conjuror, and I have not +scrutinised you so closely as your friend Lady Julia." + +"It is you that I love. I am sure I need hardly say so now." + +"Hardly, indeed--considering that you are engaged to Miss Dale." + +"As to that I have, of course, to own that I have behaved +foolishly--worse than foolishly, if you choose to say so. You cannot +condemn me more absolutely than I condemn myself. But I have made up my +mind as to one thing. I will not marry where I do not love." Oh, if +Lily could have heard him as he then spoke! + +"It would be impossible for me to speak in terms too high of Miss Dale; +but I am quite sure that I could not make her happy as her husband." + +"Why did you not think of that before you asked her?" said Alexandrina. +But there was very little of condemnation in her tone. + +"I ought to have done so; but it is hardly for you to blame me with +severity. Had you, when we were last together in London--had you been +less--" + +"Less what?" + +"Less defiant," said Crosbie, "all this might perhaps have been +avoided." + +Lady Alexandrina could not remember that she had been defiant; but, +however, she let that pass. + +"Oh, yes; of course it was my fault." + +"I went down there to Allington with my heart ill at ease, and now I +have fallen into this trouble. I tell you all as it has happened. It is +impossible that I should marry Miss Dale. It would be wicked in me to +do so, seeing that my heart belongs altogether to another. I have told +you who is that other; and now may I hope for an answer?" + +"An answer to what?" + +"Alexandrina, will you be my wife?" + +If it had been her object to bring him to a point-blank declaration and +proposition of marriage, she had certainly achieved her object now. And +she had that trust in her own power of management and in her mother's, +that she did not fear that in accepting him she would incur the risk of +being served as he was serving Lily Dale. She knew her own position and +his too well for that. If she accepted him she would in due course of +time become his wife--let Miss Dale and all her friends say what they +might to the contrary. As to that head she had no fear. But +nevertheless she did not accept him at once. Though she wished for the +prize, her woman's nature hindered her from taking it when it was +offered to her. + +"How long is it, Mr Crosbie," she said, "since you put the same +question to Miss Dale?" + +"I have told you everything, Alexandrina--as I promised that I would do. +If you intend to punish me for doing so--" + +"And I might ask another question. How long will it be before you put +the same question to some other girl?" + +He turned round as though to walk away from her in anger but when he +had gone half the distance to the door he returned. + +"By heaven!" he said, and he spoke somewhat roughly, too, "I'll have an +answer. You at any rate have nothing with which to reproach me. All +that I have done wrong, I have done through you, or on your behalf. You +have heard my proposal. Do you intend to accept it?" + +"I declare you startle me. If you demanded my money or my life, you +could not be more imperious." + +"Certainly not more resolute in my determination." + +"And if I decline the honour?" + +"I shall think you the most fickle of your sex." + +"And if I were to accept it?" + +"I would swear that you were the best, the dearest, and the sweetest of +women." + +"I would rather have your good opinion than your bad, certainly," said +Lady Alexandrina. And then it was understood by both of them that that +affair was settled. Whenever she was called on in future to speak of +Lily, she always called her, "that poor Miss Dale;" but she never again +spoke a word of reproach to her future lord about that little adventure. + +"I shall tell mamma, to-night," she said to him, as she bade him +good-night in some sequestered nook to which they had betaken +themselves. Lady Julia's eye was again on them as they came out from +the sequestered nook, but Alexandrina no longer cared for Lady Julia. + +"George, I cannot quite understand about that Mr Palliser. Isn't he to +be a duke, and oughtn't he to be a lord now?" This question was asked +by Mrs George de Courcy of her husband, when they found themselves +together in the seclusion of the nuptial chamber. + +"Yes; he'll be Duke of Omnium when the old fellow dies. I think he's +one of the slowest fellows I ever came across. He'll take deuced good +care of the property, though." + +"But, George, do explain it to me. It is so stupid not to understand, +and I am afraid of opening my mouth for fear of blundering." + +"Then keep your mouth shut, my dear. You'll learn all those sort of +things in time, and nobody notices it if you don't say anything." + +"Yes, but, George--I don't like to sit silent all the night. I'd sooner +be up here with a novel if I can't speak about anything." + +"Look at Lady Dumbello. She doesn't want to be always talking." + +"Lady Dumbello is very different from me. But do tell me, who is Mr +Palliser? + +"He's the duke's nephew. If he were the duke's son, he would be the +Marquis of Silverbridge." + +"And will he be plain Mister till his uncle dies?" + +"Yes, a very plain Mister." + +"What a pity for him. But, George--if I have a baby, and if he should be +a boy, and if--" + +"Oh, nonsense; it will be time enough to talk of that when he comes. +I'm going to sleep." + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + +A MOTHER-in-law AND A FATHER-in-law + +On the following morning Mr Plantagenet Palliser was off upon his +political mission before breakfast--either that, or else some private +comfort was afforded to him in guise of solitary rolls and coffee. The +public breakfast at Courcy Castle was going on at eleven o'clock, and +at that hour Mr Palliser was already closeted with the Mayor of +Silverbridge. + +"I must get off by the train," said Mr Palliser. + +"Who is there to speak after me? + +"Well, I shall say a few words; and Growdy--he'll expect them to listen +to him. Growdy has always stood very firm by his grace, Mr Palliser." + +"Mind we are in the room sharp at one. And you can have a fly, for me +to get away to the station, ready in the yard. I won't go a moment +before I can help. I shall be just an hour and a half myself. No, thank +you, I never take any wine in the morning." And I may here state that +Mr Palliser did get away by the 3.45 train, leaving Mr Growdy still +talking on the platform. Constituents must be treated with respect; +but time has become so scarce nowadays that that respect has to be +meted out by the quarter of an hour with parsimonious care. + +In the meantime there was more leisure at Courcy Caste. Neither the +countess nor Lady Alexandrina came down to breakfast, but their absence +gave rise to no special remark. Breakfast at the castle was a morning +meal at which people showed themselves, or did not show themselves, as +it pleased them. Lady Julia was there looking very glum, and Crosbie +was sitting next to his future sister-in-law Margaretta, who already +had placed herself on terms of close affection with him. As he finished +his tea she whispered into his ear, + +"Mr Crosbie, if you could spare half an hour, mamma would so like to +see you in her own room." Crosbie declared that he would be delighted +to wait upon her, and did in truth feel some gratitude in being +welcomed as a son-in-law into the house. And yet he felt also that he +was being caught, and that in ascending into the private domains of the +countess he would be setting the seal upon his own captivity. + +Nevertheless, he went with a smiling face and a light steps Lady +Margaretta ushering him the way. + +"Mamma," said she, "I have brought Mr Crosbie up to you. I did not know +that you were here, Alexandrina, or I should have warned him." + +The countess and her youngest daughter had been breakfasting together +in the elder lady's sitting-room, and were now seated in a very +graceful and well-arranged deshabille. The tea-cups out of which they +had been drinking were made of some elegant porcelain, the teapot and +cream-jug were of chased silver and as delicate in their sway. The +remnant of food consisted of morsels of French roll which had not even +been allowed to crumble themselves in a disorderly fashion, and of +infinitesimal pats of butter. If the morning meal of the two ladies had +been as unsubstantial as the appearance of the fragments indicated, it +must be presumed that they intended to lunch early. The countess +herself was arrayed in an elaborate morning wrapper of figured silk, +but the simple Alexandrina wore a plain white muslin peignoir, fastened +with pink ribbon. Her hair, which she usually carried in long rolls, +now hung loose over her shoulders, and certainly added something to her +stock of female charms. The countess got up as Crosbie entered and +greeted him with an open hand; but Alexandrina kept her seat, and +merely nodded at him a little welcome. + +"I must run down again," said Margaretta, "or I shall have left Amelia +with all the cares of the house upon her." + +"Alexandrina has told me all about it," said the countess, with her +sweetest smile, "and I have given her my approval. I really do think +you will suit each other very well." + +"I am very much obliged to you," said Crosbie. + +"I'm sure at any rate of this--that she will suit me very well." + +"Yes; I think she will. She is a good sensible girl." + +"Psha, mamma; pray don't go on in that Goody Twoshoes sort of way." + +"So you are, my dear. If you were not it would not be well for you to +do as you are going to do. If you were giddy and harum-scarum, and +devoted to rank and wealth and that sort of thing, it would not be well +for you to marry a commoner without fortune. I'm sure Mr Crosbie will +excuse me for saying so much as that." + +"Of course I know," said Crosbie, "that I had no right to look so high." + +"Well; we'll say nothing more about it," said the countess. + +"Pray don't," said Alexandrina. + +"It sounds so like a sermon." + +"Sit down, Mr Crosbie," said the countess, "and let us have a little +conversation. She shall sit by you, if you like it. Nonsense, +Alexandrina--if he asks it!" + +"Don't, mamma--I mean to remain where I am." + +"Very well, my dear--then remain where you are. She is a wilful girl, Mr +Crosbie; as you will say when you hear that she has told me all that +you told her last night." Upon hearing this, he changed colour a +little, but said nothing. + +"She has told me," continued the countess, "about that young lady at +Allington. Upon my word, I'm afraid you have been very naughty." + +"I have been foolish, Lady de Courcy." + +"Of course; I did not mean anything worse than that. Yes, you have been +foolish--amusing yourself in a thoughtless way, you know, and, perhaps, +a little piqued because a certain lady was not to be won so easily as +your Royal Highness wished. Well, now, all that must be settled, you +know, as quickly as possible. I don't want to ask any indiscreet +questions; but if the young lady has really been left with any idea +that you meant anything, don't you think you should undeceive her at +once?" + +"Of course he will, mamma." + +"Of course you will; and it will be a great comfort to Alexandrina to +know that the matter is arranged. You hear what Lady Julia is saying +almost every hour of her life. Now, of course, Alexandrina does not +care what an old maid like Lady Julia may say; but it will be better +for all parties that the rumour should be put a stop to. + +"If the earl were to hear it, he might, you know--" And the countess +shook her head, thinking that she could thus best indicate what the +earl might do, if he were to take it into his head to do anything. + +Crosbie could not bring himself to hold any very confidential +intercourse with the countess about Lily; but he gave a muttered +assurance that he should, as a matter of course, make known the truth +to Miss Dale with as little delay as possible. He could not say exactly +when he would write, nor whether he would write to her or to her +mother; but the thing should be done immediately on his return to town. + +"If it will make the matter easier, I will write to Mrs Dale," said the +countess. But to this scheme Mr Crosbie objected very strongly. + +And then a few words were said about the earl. "I will tell him this +afternoon," said the countess; "and then you can see him tomorrow +morning. I don't suppose he will say very much, you know; and perhaps he +may think--you won't mind my saying it, I'm sure--that Alexandrina might +have done better. But I don't believe that he'll raise any strong +objection. There will be something about settlements, and that sort of +thing, of course." Then the countess went away, and Alexandrina was left +with her lover for half an hour. When the half-hour was over, he felt +that he would have given all that he had in the world to have back the +last four-and-twenty hours of his existence. But he had no hope. To jilt +Lily Dale would, no doubt, be within his power, but he knew that he +could not jilt Lady Alexandrina de Courcy. + +On the next morning at twelve o'clock he had his interview with the +father, and a very unpleasant interview it was. He was ushered into the +earl's room, and found the great peer standing on the rug, with his +back to the fire, and his hands in his breeches pockets. + +"So you mean to marry my daughter?" said he. "I'm not very well, as you +see; I seldom am." + +These last words were spoken in answer to Crosbie's greeting. Crosbie +had held out his hand to the earl, and had carried his point so far +that the earl had been forced to take one of his own out of his pocket, +and give it to his proposed son-in-law. + +"If your lordship has no objection. I have, at any rate, her permission +to ask for yours." + +"I believe you have not any fortune, have you? She's got none; of +course you know that?" + +"I have a few thousand pounds, and I believe she has as much." + +"About as much as will buy bread to keep the two of you from starving. +It's nothing to me. You can marry her if you like; only, look here, +I'll have no nonsense. I've had an old woman in with me this +morning--one of those that are here in the house--telling me some story +about some other girl that you have made a fool of. It's nothing to me +how much of that sort of thing you may have done, so that you do none +of it here. But--if you play any prank of that kind with me, you'll find +that you've made a mistake." + +Crosbie hardly made any answer to this, but got himself out of the room +as quickly as he could. + +"You'd better talk to Gazebee about the trifle of money you've got," +said the earl. Then he dismissed the subject from his mind, and no +doubt imagined that he had fully done his duty by his daughter. + +On the day after this, Crosbie was to go. On the last afternoon, +shortly before dinner, he was waylaid by Lady Julia, who had passed the +day in preparing traps to catch him. + +"Mr Crosbie," she said, "let me have one word with you. Is this true?" + +"Lady Julia," he said, "I really do not know why you should inquire +into my private affairs." + +"Yes, sir, you do know, you know very well. That poor young lady who +has no father and no brother, is my neighbour, and her friends are my +friends. She is a friend of my own, and being an old woman, I have a +right to speak for her. If this is true, Mr Crosbie, you are treating +her like a villain." + +"Lady Julia, I really must decline to discuss the matter with you." + +"I'll tell everybody what a villain you are; I will, indeed--a villain +and a poor weak silly fool. She was too good for you; that's what she +was." Crosbie, as Lady Julia was addressing to him the last words, +hurried upstairs away from her, but her ladyship, standing on a +landing-place, spoke up loudly, so that no word should be lost on her +retreating enemy. + +"We positively must get rid of that woman," the countess, who heard it +all, said to Margaretta. "She is disturbing the house and disgracing +herself every day." + +"She went to papa this morning, mamma." + +"She did not get much by that move," said the countess. + +On the following morning Crosbie returned to town, but just before he +left the castle he received a third letter from Lily Dale. + +"I have been rather disappointed at not hearing this morning," said +Lily, "for I thought the postman would have brought me a letter. But I +know you'll be a better boy when you get back to London, and I won't +scold you. Scold you, indeed! No; I'll never scold you, not though I +shouldn't hear for a month." + +He would have given all that he had in the world, three times told, if +he could have blotted out that visit to Courcy Castle from the past +facts of his existence. + + + +CHAPTER XXV + +ADOLPHUS CROSBIE SPENDS AN EVENING AT HIS CLUB + +Crosbie, as he was being driven from the castle to the nearest station, +in a dog-cart hired from the hotel, could not keep himself from +thinking of that other morning, not yet a fortnight past, on which he +had left Allington; and as he thought of it he knew that he was a +villain. On this morning Alexandrina had not come out from the house to +watch his departure, and catch the last glance of his receding figure. +As he had not started very early she had sat with him at the breakfast +table; but others also had sat there, and when he got up to go, she did +no more than smile softly and give him her hand. It had been already +settled that he was to spend his Christmas at Courcy; as it had been +also settled that he was to spend it at Allington. Lady Amelia was, of +all the family, the most affectionate to him, and perhaps of them all +she was the one whose affection was worth the most. She was not a woman +endowed with a very high mind or with very noble feelings. She had +begun life trusting to the nobility of her blood for everything, and +declaring somewhat loudly among her friends that her father's rank and +her mother's birth imposed on her the duty of standing closely by her +own order. Nevertheless, at the age of thirty-three she had married her +father's man of business, under circumstances which were not altogether +creditable to her. But she had done her duty in her new sphere of life +with some constancy and a fixed purpose; and now that her sister was +going to marry, as she had done, a man much below herself in social +standing, she was prepared to do her duty as a sister and a +sister-in-law. + +"We shall be up in town in November, and of course you'll come to us at +once. Albert Villa, you know, in Hamilton Terrace, St. John's Wood. We +dine at seven, and on Sundays at two; and you'll always find a place. +Mind you come to us, and make yourself quite at home. I do so hope you +and Mortimer will get on well together." + +"I'm sure we shall," said Crosbie. But he had had higher hopes in +marrying into this noble family than that of becoming intimate with +Mortimer Gazebee. What those hopes were he could hardly define to +himself now that he had brought himself so near to the fruition of +them. Lady de Courcy had certainly promised to write to her first +cousin who was Under-Secretary of State for India, with reference to +that secretaryship at the General Committee Office; but Crosbie, when +he came to weigh in his mind what good might result to him from this, +was disposed to think that his chance of obtaining the promotion would +be quite as good without the interest of the Under-Secretary of State +for India as with it. Now that he belonged, as we may say, to this +noble family, he could hardly discern what were the advantages which he +had expected from this alliance. He had said to himself that it would +be much to have a countess for a mother-in-law; but now, even already, +although the possession to which he had looked was not yet garnered, he +was beginning to tell himself that the thing was not worth possessing. + +As he sat in the train, with a newspaper in his hand, he went on +acknowledging to himself that he was a villain. Lady Julia had spoken +the truth to him on the stairs at Courcy, and so he confessed over and +over again. But he was chiefly angry with himself for this--that he had +been a villain without gaining anything by his villany; that he had +been a villain, and was to lose so much by his villany. He made +comparison between Lily and Alexandrina, and owned to himself, over and +over again, that Lily would make the best wife that a man could take to +his boom. As to Alexandrina, he knew the thinness of her character. She +would stick by him, no doubt; and in a circuitous, discontented, +unhappy way, would probably be true to her duties as a wife and mother. +She would be nearly such another as Lady Amelia Gazebee. But was that a +prize sufficiently rich to make him contented with his own prowess and +skill in winning it? And was that a prize sufficiently rich to justify +him to himself for his terrible villany? Lily Dale he had loved; and he +now declared to himself that he could have continued to love her +through his whole life. But what was there for any man to love in +Alexandrina de Courcy? + +While resolving, during his first four or five days at the castle, that +he would throw Lily Dale overboard, he had contrived to quiet his +conscience by inward allusions to sundry heroes of romance. He had +thought of Lothario, Don Juan, and of Lovelace; and had told himself +that the world had ever been full of such heroes. And the world, too, +had treated such heroes well; not punishing them at all as villains, +but caressing them rather, and calling them curled darlings. Why should +not he be a curled darling as well as another? Ladies had ever been +fond of the Don Juan character, and Don Juan had generally been popular +with men also. And then he named to himself a dozen modern +Lotharios--men who were holding their heads well above water, although +it was known that they had played this lady false, and brought that +other one to death's door, or perhaps even to death itself. War and +love were alike, and the world was prepared to forgive any guile to +militants in either camp. + +But now that he had done the deed he found himself forced to look at it +from quite another point of view. Suddenly that character of Lothario +showed itself to him in a different light, and one in which it did not +please him to look at it as belonging to himself. He began to feel that +it would be almost impossible for him to write that letter to Lily, +which it was absolutely necessary that he should write. He was in a +position in which his mind would almost turn itself to thoughts of +self-destruction as the only means of escape. A fortnight ago he was a +happy man, having everything before him that a man ought to want; and +now--now that he was the accepted son-in-law of an earl, and the +confident expectant of high promotion--he was the most miserable, +degraded wretch in the world! + +He changed his clothes at his lodgings in Mount Street and went down to +his club to dinner. He could, at any rate, do nothing that night. His +letter to Allington must, no doubt, be written at once; but, as he +could not send it before the next night's post, he was not forced to +set to work upon it that evening. As he walked along Piccadilly on his +way to St. James's Square, it occurred to him that it might be well to +write a short line to Lily, telling her nothing of the truth--a note +written as though his engagement with her was still unbroken, but yet +written with care, saying nothing about that engagement, so as to give +him a little time. Then he thought that he would telegraph to Bernard +and tell everything to him. Bernard would, of course, be prepared to +avenge his cousin in some way, but for such vengeance Crosbie felt that +he should care little. Lady Julia had told him that Lily was without +father or brother, thereby accusing him of the basest cowardice. + +"I wish she had a dozen brothers," he said to himself. But he hardly +knew why he expressed such a wish. + +He returned to London on the last day of October, and he found the +streets at the West End nearly deserted. He thought, therefore, that he +should be quite alone at his club, but as he entered the dinner room he +saw one of his oldest and most intimate friends standing before the +fire. Fowler Pratt was the man who had first brought him into +Sebright's, and had given him almost his earliest start on his +successful career in life. Since that time he and his friend Fowler +Pratt had lived in close communion, though Pratt had always held a +certain ascendancy in their friendship. He was in age a few years +senior to Crosbie, and was in truth a man of better parts. But he was +less ambitious, less desirous of shining in the world, and much less +popular with men in general. He was possessed of a moderate private +fortune on which he lived in a quiet, modest manner, and was unmarried, +not likely to marry, inoffensive, useless, and prudent. For the first +few years of Crosbie's life in London he had lived very much with his +friend Pratt, and had been accustomed to depend much on his friend's +counsel; but latterly, since he had himself become somewhat noticeable, +he had found more pleasure in the society of such men as Dale, who were +not his superiors either in age or wisdom. But there had been no +coolness between him and Pratt, and now they met with perfect +cordiality. + +"I thought you were down in Barsetshire," said Pratt. + +"And I thought you were in Switzerland." + +"I have been in Switzerland," said Pratt. + +"And I have been in Barsetshire," said Crosbie. Then they ordered their +dinner together. + +"And so you're going to be married?" said Pratt, when the waiter had +carried away the cheese. + +"Who told you that?" + +"Well, but you are? Never mind who told me, if I was told the truth." + +"But if it be not true?" + +"I have heard it for the last month," said Pratt, "and it has been +spoken of as a thing certain; and it is true; is it not? + +"I believe it is," said Crosbie, slowly. + +"Why, what on earth is the matter with you, that you speak of it in +that way? Am I to congratulate you, or am I not? The lady, I'm told, is +a cousin of Dale's." + +Crosbie had turned his chair from the table round to the fire, and said +nothing in answer to this. He sat with his glass of sherry in his hand, +looking at the coals, and thinking whether it would not be well that he +should tell the whole story to Pratt. No one could give him better +advice; and no one, as far as he knew his friend, would be less shocked +at the telling of such a story. Pratt had no romance about women, and +had never pretended to very high sentiments. + +"Come up into the smoking-room and I'll tell you all about it," said +Crosbie. So they went off together, and, as the smoking-room was +untenanted, Crosbie was able to tell his story. + +He found it very hard to tell--much harder than he had beforehand +fancied. + +"I have got into terrible trouble," he began by saying. Then he told +how he had fallen suddenly in love with Lily, how, he had been rash and +imprudent, how nice she was--" infinitely too good for such a man as I +am," he said--how she had accepted him, and then how he had repented. + +"I should have told you beforehand," he then said, "that I was already +half engaged to Lady Alexandrina de Courcy." The reader, however, will +understand that this half engagement was a fiction. + +"And now you mean that you are altogether engaged to her?" + +"Exactly so." + +"And that Miss Dale must be told that, on second thoughts, you have +changed your mind?" + +"I know that I have behaved very badly," said Crosbie. + +"Indeed you have," said his friend. + +"It is one of those troubles in which a man finds himself involved +almost before he knows where he is." + +"Well; I can't look at it exactly in that light. A man may amuse +himself with a girl, and I can understand his disappointing her and not +offering to marry her--though even that sort of thing isn't much to my +taste. But, by George, to make an offer of marriage to such a girl as +that in September, to live for a month in her family as her affianced +husband, and then coolly go away to another house in October, and make +an offer to another girl of higher rank--" + +"You know very well that that has had nothing to do with it." + +"It looks very like it. And how are you going to communicate these +tidings to Miss Dale?" + +"I don't know," said Crosbie, who was beginning to be very sore. + +"And you have quite made up your mind that you'll stick to the earl's +daughter?" + +The idea of jilting Alexandrina instead of Lily had never as yet +presented itself to Crosbie, and now, as he thought of it, he could not +perceive that it was feasible. + +"Yes," he said, "I shall marry Lady Alexandrina--that is, if I do not +cut the whole concern, and my own throat into the bargain." + +"If I were in your shoes I think I should cut the whole concern. I +could not stand it. What do you mean to say to Miss Dale's uncle? + +"I don't care a ---- for Miss Dale's uncle," said, Crosbie. + +"If he were to walk in at that door this moment, I would tell him the +whole story, without--" + +As he was yet speaking, one of the club servants opened the door of the +smoking-room, and seeing Crosbie seated in a lounging-chair near the +fire, went up to him with a gentleman's card. Crosbie took the card and +read the name. + +"Mr Dale, Allington." + +"The gentleman is in the waiting-room," said the servant. + +Crosbie for the moment was struck dumb. He had declared that very +moment that he should feel no personal disinclination to meet Mr Dale, +and now that gentleman was within the walls of the club, waiting to see +him! + +"Who's that?" asked Pratt. And then Crosbie handed him the card. + +"Whew-w-w-hew," whistled Pratt. + +"Did you tell the gentleman I was here?" asked Crosbie. + +"I said I thought you were upstairs, sir." + +"That will do," said Pratt. + +"The gentleman will no doubt wait for a minute." And then the servant +went out of the room. + +"Now, Crosbie, you must make up your mind. By one of these women and +all her friends you will ever be regarded as a rascal, and they of +course will look out to punish you with such punishment as may come to +their hands. You must now choose which shall be the sufferer." + +The man was a coward at heart. The reflection that he might, even now, +at this moment, meet the old squire on pleasant terms--or at any rate +not on terms of defiance, pleaded more strongly in Lily's favour than +had any other argument since Crosbie had first made up his mind to +abandon her. He did not fear personal ill-usage--he was not afraid lest +he should be kicked or beaten; but he did not dare to face the just +anger of the angry man. + +"If I were you," said Pratt, + +"I would not go down to that man at the present moment for a trifle." + +"But what can I do?" + +"Shirk away out of the club. Only if you do that it seems to me that +you'll have to go on shirking for the rest of your life." + +"Pratt, I must say that I expected something more like friendship from +you." + +"What can I do for you? There are positions in which it is impossible +to help a man. I tell you plainly that you have behaved very badly. I +do not see that I can help you." + +"Would you see him?" + +"Certainly not, if I am to be expected to take your part." + +"Take any part you like--only tell him the truth." + +"And what is the truth? + +"I was part engaged to that other girl before; and then, when I came to +think of it, I knew that I was not fit to marry Miss Dale. I know I +have behaved badly; but, Pratt, thousands have done the same thing +before." + +"I can only say that I have not been so unfortunate as to reckon any of +those thousands among my friends." + +"You mean to tell me, then, that you are going to turn your back on +me?" said Crosbie. + +"I haven't said anything of the kind. I certainly won't undertake to +defend you, for I don't see that your conduct admits of defence. I will +see this gentleman if you wish it, and tell him anything that you +desire me to tell him." + +At this moment the servant returned with a note for Crosbie. Mr Dale +had called for paper and envelope, and sent up to him the following +missive--" Do you intend to come down to me? I know that you are in the +house." + +"For heaven's sake go to him," said Crosbie. + +"He is well aware that I was deceived about his niece--that I thought he +was to give her some fortune. He knows all about that, and that when I +learned from him that she was to have nothing--" + +"Upon my word, Crosbie, I wish you could find another messenger." + +"Ah! you do not understand," said Crosbie in his agony. + +"You think that I am inventing this plea about her fortune now. It +isn't so. He will understand. 'We have talked all this over before, and +he knew how terribly I was disappointed. Shall I wait for you here, or +will you come to my lodgings? Or I will go down to the Beaufort, and +will wait for you there." And it was finally arranged that he should +get himself out of this club and wait at the other for Pratt's report +of the interview. + +"Do you go down first," said Crosbie. + +"Yes: I had better," said Pratt. + +"Otherwise you may be seen. Mr Dale would have his eye upon you, and +there would be a row in the house." There was a smile of sarcasm on +Pratt's face as he spoke which angered Crosbie even in his misery, and +made him long to tell his friend that he would not trouble him with +this mission--that he would manage his own affairs himself; but he was +weakened and mentally humiliated by the sense of his own rascality, and +had already lost the power of asserting himself, and of maintaining his +ascendancy. He was beginning to recognise the fact that he had done +that for which he must endure to be kicked, to be kicked morally if not +materially; and that it was no longer possible for him to hold his head +up without shame. + +Pratt took Mr Dale's note in his hand and went down into the stranger's +room. There he found the squire standing, so that he could see through +the open door of the room to the foot of the stairs down which Crosbie +must descend before he could leave the club. As a measure of first +precaution the ambassador closed the door; then he bowed to Mr Dale, +and asked him if he would take a chair. + +"I wanted to see Mr Crosbie," said the squire. + +"I have your note to that gentleman in my hand," said he. + +"He has thought it better that you should have this interview with +me--and under all the circumstances perhaps it is better." + +"Is he such a coward that he dare not see me?" + +"There are some actions, Mr Dale, that will make a coward of any man. +My friend Crosbie is, I take it, brave enough in the ordinary sense of +the word, but he has injured you." + +"It is all true, then?" + +"Yes, Mr Dale; I fear it is all true." + +"And you call that man your friend! Mr--; I don't know what your name +is." + +"Pratt-Fowler Pratt. I have known Crosbie for fourteen years--ever since +he was a boy; and it is not my way, Mr Dale, to throw over an old +friend under any circumstances." + +"Not if he committed a murder." + +"No; not though he committed a murder." + +"If what I hear is true, this man is worse than a murderer." + +"Of course, Mr Dale, I cannot know what you have heard. I believe that +Mr Crosbie has behaved very badly to your niece, Miss Dale; I believe +that he was engaged to marry her, or, at any rate, that some such +proposition had been made." + +"Proposition! Why, sir, it was a thing so completely understood that +everybody knew it in the county. It was so positively fixed that there +was no secret about it. Upon my honour, Mr Pratt, I can't as yet +understand it. If I remember right, its not a fortnight since he left +my house at Allington--not a fortnight. And that poor girl was with him +on the morning of his going as his betrothed bride. Not a fortnight +since! And now I've had a letter from an old family friend telling me +that he is going to marry one of Lord de Courcy's daughters! I went +instantly off to Courcy, and found that he had started for London. Now, +I have followed him here; and you tell me it's all true." + +"I am afraid it is, Mr Dale; too true." + +"I don't understand it; I don't, indeed. I cannot bring myself to +believe that the man who was sitting the other day at my table should +be so great a scoundrel. Did he mean it all the time that he was there?" + +"No; certainly not. Lady Alexandrina de Courcy was, I believe, an old +friend of his--with whom, perhaps, he had had some lover's quarrel. On +his going to Courcy they made it up, and this is the result." + +"And that is to be sufficient for my poor girl?" + +"You will, of course, understand that I am not defending Mr Crosbie. +The whole affair is very sad--very sad, indeed. I can only say, in his +excuse, that he is not the first man who has behaved badly to a lady." + +"And that is his message to me, is it? And that is what I am to tell my +niece? You have been deceived by a scoundrel. But what then? You are +not the first! Mr Pratt, I give you my word as a gentleman, I do not +understand it. I have lived a good deal out of the world, and am, +therefore, perhaps; more astonished than I ought to be." + +"Mr Dale, I feel for you--" + +"Feel for me! What is to become of my girl? And do you suppose that I +will let this other marriage go on; that I will not tell the De +Courcys, and all the world at large, what sort of a man this is--that I +will not get at him to punish him? Does he think that I will put up +with this?" + +"I do not know what he thinks; I must only beg that you will not mix me +up in the matter--as though I were a participator in his offence." + +"Will you tell him from me that I desire to see him?" + +"I do not think that that would do any good." + +"Never mind, sir; you have brought me his message; will you have the +goodness now to take back mine to him?" + +"Do you mean at once--this evening--now?" + +"Yes, at once--this evening--now--this minute." + +"Ah; he has left the club; he is not here now; he went when I came to +you." + +"Then he is a coward as well as a scoundrel." In answer to which +assertion, Mr Fowler Pratt merely shrugged his shoulders. + +"He is a coward as well as a scoundrel. Will you have the kindness to +tell your friend from me that he is a coward and a scoundrel--and a +liar, sir." + +"If it be so, Miss Dale is well quit of her engagement." + +"That is your consolation, is it? That may be all very well nowadays; +but when I was a young man, I would sooner have burnt out my tongue +than have spoken in such a way on such a subject. I would, indeed. +Good-night, Mr Pratt. Pray make your friend understand that he has not +yet seen the last of the Dales; although, as you hint, the ladies of +that family will no doubt have learned that he is not fit to associate +with them." Then, taking up his hat, the squire made his way out of the +club. + +"I would not have done it," said Pratt to himself, "for all the beauty, +and all the wealth, and all the rank that ever were owned by a woman." + + + +CHAPTER XXVI + +LORD DE COURCY IN THE BOSOM OF HIS FAMILY + +Lady Julia De Guest had not during her life written many letters to Mr +Dale of Allington, nor had she ever been very fond of him. But when she +felt certain how things were going at Courcy, or rather, as we may say, +how they had already gone, she took pen in hand, and set herself to +work, doing, as she conceived, her duty by her neighbour. + +MY DEAR MR DALE (she said)--I believe I need make no secret of having +known that your niece Lilian is engaged to Mr Crosbie, of London. I +think it proper to warn you that if this be true Mr Crosbie is behaving +himself in a very improper manner here. I am not a person who concern +myself much in the affairs of other people; and under ordinary +circumstances, the conduct of Mr Crosbie would be nothing to me--or, +indeed, less than nothing; but I do to you as I would wish that others +should do unto me. I believe it is only too true that Mr Crosbie has +proposed to Lady Alexandrina de Courcy, and been accepted by her. I +think you will believe that I would not say this without warrant, and +if there be anything in it, it may be well, for the poor young lady's +sake, that you should put yourself in the way of learning the truth. + +Believe me to be yours sincerely, + + JULIA DE GUEST. + +COURCY CASTLE, Thursday. + +The squire had never been very fond of any of the De Guest family, and +had, perhaps, liked Lady Julia the least of them all. He was wont to +call her a meddling old woman--remembering her bitterness and pride in +those now long bygone days in which the gallant major had run off with +Lady Fanny. When he first received this letter, he did not, on the +first reading of it, believe a word of its contents. + +"Cross-grained old harridan," he said out loud to his nephew. + +"Look what that aunt of yours has written to me." Bernard read the +letter twice, and as he did so his face became hard and angry. + +"You don't mean to say you believe it?" said the squire. + +"I don't think it will be safe to disregard it." + +"What! you think it possible that your friend is doing as she says." + +"It is certainly possible. He was angry when he found that Lily had no +fortune." + +"Heavens, Bernard And you can speak of it in that way?" + +"I don't say that it is true; but I think we should look to it. I will +go to Courcy Castle and learn the truth." + +The squire at last decided that he would go. He went to Courcy Castle, +and found that Crosbie had started two hours before his arrival. He +asked for Lady Julia, and learned from her that Crosbie had actually +left the house as the betrothed husband of Lady Alexandrina. + +"The countess, I am sure, will not contradict it, if you will see her," +said Lady Julia. But this the squire was unwilling to do. He would not +proclaim the wretched condition of his niece more loudly than was +necessary, and therefore he started on his pursuit of Crosbie. What was +his success on that evening we have already learned. + +Both Lady Alexandrina and her mother heard of Mr Dale's arrival at the +castle, but nothing was said between them on the subject. Lady Amelia +Gazebee heard of it also, and she ventured to discuss the matter with +her sister. + +"You don't know exactly how far it went, do you?" + +"No; yes--not exactly, that is," said Alexandrina. + +"I suppose he did say something about marriage to the girl?" + +"Yes, I'm afraid he did." + +"Dear, dear! It's very unfortunate. What sort of people are those +Dales? I suppose he talked to you about them." + +"No, he didn't; not very much. I daresay she is an artful, sly thing! +It's a great pity men should go on in such a way." + +"Yes, it is," said Lady Amelia. + +"And I do suppose that in this case the blame has been more with him +than with her. It's only right I should tell you that." + +"But what can I do?" + +"I don't say you can do anything; but it's as well you should know." + +"But I don't know, and you don't know; and I can't see that there is +any use talking about it now. I knew him a long while before she did, +and if she has allowed him to make a fool of her, it isn't my fault." + +"Nobody says it is, my dear." + +"But you seem to preach to me about it. What can I do for the girl? The +fact is, he don't care for her a bit, and never did." + +"Then he shouldn't have told her that he did." + +"That's all very well, Amelia; but people don't always do exactly all +that they ought to do. I suppose Mr Crosbie isn't the first man that +has proposed to two ladies. I dare say it was wrong, but I can't help +it. As to Mr Dale coming here with a tale of his niece's wrongs, I +think it very absurd--very absurd indeed. It makes it look as though +there had been a scheme to catch Mr Crosbie, and it's my belief that +there was such a scheme." + +"I only hope that there'll be no quarrel." +"Men don't fight duels nowadays, Amelia." + +"But do you remember what Frank Gresham did to Mr Moffat when he +behaved so badly to poor Augusta?" + +"Mr Crosbie isn't afraid of that kind of thing. And I always thought +that Frank was very wrong--very wrong indeed. What's the good of two men +beating each other in the street? + +"Well; I'm sure I hope there'll be no quarrel. But I own I don't like +the look of it. You see the uncle must have known all about it, and +have consented to the marriage, or he would not have come here." + +"I don't see that it can make any difference to me, Amelia." + +"No, my dear, I don't see that it can. We shall be up in town soon, and +I will see as much as possible of Mr Crosbie. The marriage, I hope, +will take place soon." + +"He talks of February." + +"Don't put it off, Alley, whatever you do. There are so many slips, you +know, in these things." + +"I'm not a bit afraid of that," said Alexandrina, sticking up her head. + +"I dare say not; and you may be sure that we will keep an eye on him. +Mortimer will get him up to dine with us as often as possible, and as +his leave of absence is all over, he can't get out of town. He's to be +here at Christmas, isn't he?" + +"Of course he is." + +"Mind you keep him to that. And as to these Dales, I would be very +careful, if I were you, not to say anything unkind of them to any one. +It sounds badly in your position." And with this last piece of advice +Lady Amelia Gazebee allowed the subject to drop. + +On that day Lady Julia returned to her own home. Her adieux to the +whole family at Courcy Castle were very cold, but about Mr Crosbie and +his lady-love at Allington she said no further word to any of them. +Alexandrina did not show herself at all on the occasion, and indeed had +not spoken to her enemy since that evening on which she had felt +herself constrained to retreat from the drawing-room. + +"Good-bye," said the countess. + +"You have been so good to come, and we have enjoyed it so much." + +"I thank you very much. Good-morning," said Lady Julia, with a stately +courtesy. + +"Pray remember me to your brother. I wish we could have seen him; I +hope he has not been hurt by the--the bull." And then Lady Julia went +her way. + +"What a fool I have been to have that woman in the house," said the +countess, before the door was closed behind her guest's back. +"Indeed you have," said Lady Julia, screaming back through the passage. +Then there was a long silence, then a suppressed titter, and after that +a loud laugh. + +"Oh, mamma, what shall we do?" said Lady Amelia. + +"Do!" said Margaretta, "why should we do anything? She has heard the +truth for once in her life." + +"Dear Lady Dumbello, what will you think of us?" said the countess, +turning round to another guest, who was also just about to depart. + +"Did any one ever know such a woman before? + +"I think she's very nice," said Lady Dumbello, smiling. + +"I can't quite agree with you there," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"But I do believe she means to do her best. She is very charitable, and +all that sort of thing." + +"I'm sure I don't know," said Rosina. + +"I asked her for a subscription to the mission for putting down the +Papists in the west of Ireland, and she refused me point-blank." + +"Now, my dear, if you're quite ready," said Lord Dumbello, coming into +the room. Then there was another departure; but on this occasion the +countess waited till the doors were shut, and the retreating footsteps +were no longer heard. + +"Have you observed," said she to Lady Clandidlem, "that she has not +held her head up since Mr Palliser went away?" + +"Indeed I have," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"As for poor Dumbello, he's the blindest creature I ever saw in my +life." + +"We shall hear of something before next May," said Lady de Courcy, +shaking her head; "but for all that she'll never be Duchess of Omnium." + +"I wonder what your mamma will say of me when I go away tomorrow," said +Lady Clandidlem to Margaretta, as they walked across the hall together. + +"She won't say that you are going to run away with any gentleman," said +Margaretta. + +"At any rate not with the earl," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"Ha, ha, ha! Well, we are all very good-natured, are we not? The best +is that it means nothing." + +Thus by degrees all the guests went, and the family of the De Courcys +was left to the bliss of their own domestic circle. This, we may +presume, was not without its charms, seeing that there were so many +feelings in common between the mother and her children. There were +drawbacks to it, no doubt, arising perhaps chiefly from the earl's +bodily infirmities. + +"When your father speaks to me," said Mrs George to her husband, "he +puts me in such a shiver that I cannot open my mouth to answer him." + +"You should stand up to him," said George. + +"He can't hurt you, you know. Your money's your own; and if I'm ever to +be the heir, it won't be by his doing." + +"But he gnashes his teeth at me." + +"You shouldn't care for that, if he don't bite. He used to gnash them +at me; and when I had to ask him for money I didn't like it; but now I +don't mind him a bit. He threw the peerage at me one day, but it didn't +go within a yard of my head." + +"If he throws anything at me, George, I shall drop upon the spot." + +But the countess had a worse time with the earl than any of her +children. It was necessary that she should see him daily, and necessary +also that she should say much that he did not like to hear, and make +many petitions that caused him to gnash his teeth. The earl was one of +those men who could not endure to live otherwise than expensively, and +yet was made miserable by every recurring expense. He ought to have +known by this time that butchers, and bakers, and corn-chandlers, and +coal-merchants will not supply their goods for nothing; and yet it +always seemed as though he had expected that at this special period +they would do so. He was an embarrassed man, no doubt, and had not been +fortunate in his speculations at Newmarket or Homburg; but, +nevertheless, he had still the means of living without daily torment; +and it must be supposed that his self-imposed sufferings, with regard +to money, rose rather from his disposition than his necessities. His +wife never knew whether he were really ruined, or simply pretending it. +She had now become so used to her position in this respect, that she +did not allow fiscal considerations to mar her happiness. Food and +clothing had always come to her--including velvet gowns, new trinkets, +and a man-cook--and she presumed that they would continue to come. But +that daily conference with her husband was almost too much for her. She +struggled to avoid it; and, as far as the ways and means were +concerned, would have allowed them to arrange themselves, if he would +only have permitted it. But he insisted on seeing her daily in his own +sitting-room; and she had acknowledged to her favourite daughter, +Margaretta, that those half-hours would soon be the death of her. + +"I sometimes feel," she said, "that I am going mad before I can get +out." And she reproached herself, probably without reason, in that she +had brought much of this upon herself. In former days the earl had been +constantly away from home, and the countess had complained. Like many +other women, she had not known when she was well off. She had +complained, urging upon her lord that he should devote more of his time +to his own hearth. It is probable that her ladyship's remonstrances had +been less efficacious than the state of his own health in producing +that domestic constancy which he now practised; but it is certain that +she looked back with bitter regret to the happy days when she was +deserted, jealous, and querulous. + +"Don't you wish we could get Sir Omicron to order him to the German +Spas?" she had said to Margaretta. Now Sir Omicron was the great London +physician, and might, no doubt, do much in that way. + +But no such happy order had as yet been given; and, as far as the +family could foresee, paterfamilias intended to pass the winter with +them at Courcy. The guests, as I have said, were all gone, and none but +the family were in the house when her ladyship waited upon her lord one +morning at twelve o'clock, a few days after Mr Dale's visit to the +castle. He always breakfasted alone, and after breakfast found in a +French novel and a cigar what solace those innocent recreations were +still able to afford him. When the novel no longer excited him and when +he was saturated with smoke, he would send for his wife. After that, +his valet would dress him. + +"She gets it worse than I do," the man declared in the servants' hall, +"and minds it a deal more. I can give warning, and she can't." + +"Better? No, I ain't better," the husband said, in answer to his wife's +inquiries. "I never shall be better while you keep that cook in the +kitchin." + +"But where are we to get another if we send him away?" + +"It's not my business to find cooks. I don't know where you're to get +one. It's my belief you won't have a cook at all before long. It seems +you have got two extra men into the house without telling me." + +"We must have servants, you know, when there is company. It wouldn't do +to have Lady Dumbello here, and no one to wait on her." + +"Who asked Lady Dumbello? I didn't." + +"I'm sure, my dear, you liked having her here." + +"Lady Dumbello!" and then there was a pause. The countess had no +objection whatsoever to the above proposition, and was rejoiced that +that question of the servants was allowed to slip aside, through the +aid of her ladyship. + +"Look at that letter from Porlock," said the earl; and he pushed over +to the unhappy mother a letter from her eldest son. Of all her children +he was the one she loved the best; but him she was never allowed to see +under her own roof. "I sometimes think that he is the greatest rascal +with whom I ever had occasion to concern myself," said the earl. + +She took the letter and read it. The epistle was certainly not one +which a father could receive with pleasure from his son; but the +disagreeable nature of its contents was the fault rather of the parent +than of the child. The writer intimated that certain money due to him +had not been paid with necessary punctuality, and that unless he +received it, he should instruct his lawyer to take some authorised +legal proceedings. Lord de Courcy had raised certain moneys on the +family property, which he could not have raised without the +co-operation of his heir, and had bound himself, in return for that +co-operation, to pay a certain fixed income to his eldest son. This he +regarded as an allowance from himself; but Lord Porlock regarded it as +his own, by lawful claim. The son had not worded his letter with any +affectionate phraseology. + +"Lord Porlock begs to inform Lord de Courcy" Such had been the +commencement. + +"I suppose he must have his money; else how can he live? said the +countess, trembling. + +"Live!" shouted the earl. + +"And so you think it proper that he should write such a letter as that +to his father!" + +"It is all very unfortunate," she replied. + +"I don't know where the money's to come from. As for him, if he were +starving, it would serve him right. He's a disgrace to the name and the +family. From all I hear, he won't live long." + +"Oh, De Courcy, don't talk of it in that way" + +"What way am I to talk of it? If I say that he's my greatest comfort, +and living as becomes a nobleman, and is a fine healthy man of his age, +with a good wife and a lot of legitimate children, will that make you +believe it? Women are such fools. Nothing that I say will make him +worse than he is." + +"But he may reform." + +"Reform! He's over forty, and when I last saw him he looked nearly +sixty. There--you may answer his letter; I won't." + +"And about the money?" + +"Why doesn't he write to Gazebee about his dirty money? Why does he +trouble me? I haven't got his money. Ask Gazebee about his money. I +won't trouble myself about it." + +Then there was another pause, during which the countess folded the +letter, and put it in her pocket. + +"How long is George going to remain here with that woman?" he asked. + +"I'm sure she is very harmless," pleaded the countess. + +"I always think when I see her that I'm sitting down to dinner with my +own housemaid. I never saw such a woman. How he can put up with it! But +I don't suppose he cares for anything." + +"It has made him very steady." + +"Steady!" + +"And as she will be confined before long it may be as well that she +should remain here. If Porlock doesn't marry, you know--" + +"And so he means to live here altogether, does he? I'll tell you what +it is--I won't have it. He's better able to keep a house over his own +head and his wife's than I am to do it for them, and so you may tell +them. I won't have it. D'ye hear? "Then there was another short pause. +"D'ye hear?" he shouted at her. + +"Yes; of course I hear. I was only thinking you wouldn't wish me to +turn them out, just as her confinement is coming on." + +"I know what that means. Then they'd never go. I won't have it; and if +you don't tell them I will." In answer to this Lady de Courcy promised +that she would tell them, thinking perhaps that the earl's mode of +telling might not be beneficial in that particular epoch which was now +coming in the life of Mrs George. + +"Did you know," said he, breaking out on a new subject, "that a man had +been here named Dale, calling on somebody in this house?" In answer to +which the countess acknowledged that she had known it. + +"Then why did you keep it from me?" And that gnashing of the teeth took +place which was so specially objectionable to Mrs George. + +"It was a matter of no moment. He came to see Lady Julia de Guest." + +"Yes; but he came about that man Crosbie." + +"I suppose he did." + +"Why have you let that girl be such a fool? You'll find he'll play her +some knave's trick." + +"Oh dear, no." + +"And why should she want to marry such a man as that?" + +"He's quite a gentleman, you know, and very much thought of in the +world. It won't be at all bad for her, poor thing. It is so very hard +for a girl to get married nowadays without money." + +"And so they're to take up with anybody. As far as I can see, this is a +worse affair than that of Amelia." + +"Amelia has done very well, my dear." + +"Oh, if you call it doing well for your girls, I don't. I call it doing +uncommon badly; about as bad as they well can do. But it's your affair. +I have never meddled with them, and don't intend to do it now." + +"I really think she'll be happy, and she is devotedly attached to the +young man." + +"Devotedly attached to the young man!" The tone and manner in which the +earl repeated these words were such as to warrant an opinion that his +lordship might have done very well on the stage had his attention been +called to that profession. + +"It makes me sick to hear people talk in that way. She wants to get +married, and she's a fool for her pains--I can't help that; only +remember that I'll have no nonsense here about that other girl. If he +gives me trouble of that sort, by I'll be the death of him. When is the +marriage to be? + +"They talk of February." + +"I won't have any tomfoolery and expense. If she chooses to marry a +clerk in an office, she shall marry him as clerks are married." + +"He'll be the secretary before that, De Courcy." + +"What difference does that make? Secretary, indeed! What sort of men do +you suppose secretaries are? A beggar that came from nobody knows +where! I won't have any tomfoolery--d'ye hear?" Whereupon the countess +said that she did hear, and soon afterwards managed to escape. The +valet then took his turn; and repeated, after his hour of service, that +"Old Nick" in his tantrums had been more like the Prince of Darkness +than ever. + + + +CHAPTER XXVII + +"ON MY HONOUR, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT" + +In the meantime Lady Alexandrina endeavoured to realise to herself all +the advantages and disadvantages of her own position. She was not +possessed of strong affections, nor of depth of character, nor of high +purpose; but she was no fool, nor was she devoid of principle. She had +asked herself many times whether her present life was so happy as to +make her think that a permanent continuance in it would suffice for her +desires, and she had always replied to herself that she would fain +change to some other life if it were possible. She had also questioned +herself as to her rank, of which she was quite sufficiently proud, and +had told herself that she could not degrade herself in the world +without a heavy pang. But she had at last taught herself to believe +that she had more to gain by becoming the wife of such a man as Crosbie +than by remaining as an unmarried daughter of her father's house. There +was much in her sister Amelia's position which she did not envy, but +there was less to envy in that of her sister Rosina. The Gazebee house +in St. John's Wood Road was not so magnificent as Courcy Castle; but +then it was less dull, less embittered by torment, and was moreover her +sister's own. + +"Very many do marry commoners," she had said to Margaretta. + +"Oh, yes, of course. It makes a difference, you know, when a man has a +fortune." + +Of course it did make a difference. Crosbie had no fortune, was not +even so rich as Mr Gazebee, could keep no carriage, and would have no +country house. But then he was a man of fashion, was more thought of in +the world than Mr Gazebee, might probably rise in his own +profession--and was at any rate thoroughly presentable. She would have +preferred a gentleman with L5,000 a year; but then as no gentleman with +L5,000 a year came that way, would she not be happier with Mr Crosbie +than she would be with no husband at all? She was not very much in love +with Mr Crosbie, but she thought that she could live with him +comfortably, and that on the whole it would be a good thing to be +married. + +And she made certain resolves as to the manner in which she would do +her duty by her husband. Her sister Amelia was paramount in her own +house, ruling indeed with a moderate, endurable dominion, and ruling +much to her husband's advantage. Alexandrina feared that she would not +be allowed to rule, but she could at any rate try; She would do all in +her power to make him comfortable, and would be specially careful not +to irritate him by any insistence on her own higher rank. She would be +very meek in this respect; and if children should come she would be as +painstaking about them as though her own father had been merely a +clergyman or, a lawyer. She thought also much about poor Lilian Dale, +asking herself sundry questions, with an idea of being high-principled +as to her duty in that respect. Was she wrong in taking Mr Crosbie away +from Lilian Dale? In answer to these questions she was able to assure +herself comfortably that she was not wrong. Mr Crosbie would not, under +any circumstances, marry Lilian Dale. He had told her so more than +once, and that in a solemn way. She could therefore be doing no harm to +Lilian Dale. If she entertained any inner feeling that Crosbie's fault +in jilting Lilian Dale was less than it would have been had, she +herself not been an earl's daughter--that her own rank did in some. +degree extenuate her lover's falseness--she did not express it in words +even to herself. + +She did not get very much sympathy from her own family. + +"I'm afraid he does not think much of his religious duties. I'm told +that young men of that sort seldom do," said Rosina. + +"I don't say you're wrong," said Margaretta. + +"By no means. Indeed I think less of it now than I did when Amelia did +the same thing. I shouldn't do it myself, that's all." Her father told +her that he supposed she knew her own mind. Her mother, who endeavoured +to comfort and in some sort to congratulate her, nevertheless, harped +constantly on the fact that the was marrying a man without rank and +without a fortune, Her congratulations were apologetic, and her +comfortings took the guise of consolation. + +"Of course you won't be rich, my dear; but I really think you'll do +very well. Mr Crosbie may be received anywhere, and you never need be +ashamed of him." By which the countess implied that her elder married +daughter was occasionally called on to be ashamed of her husband. "I +wish he could keep a carriage for you, but perhaps that will come some +day." Upon the whole Alexandrina did not repent, and stoutly told her +father that she did know her own mind. + +During all this time Lily Dale was as yet perfect in her happiness. +That delay of a day or two in the receipt of the expected letter from +her lover had not disquieted her. She had promised him that she would +not distrust him, and she was firmly minded to keep her promises. +Indeed no idea of breaking it came to her at this time. She was +disappointed when the postman would come and bring no letter for +her--disappointed, as the husbandman when the longed--for rain does not +come to refresh the parched earth; but she was in no degree angry. + +"He will explain it," she said to herself. And she assured Bell that +men never recognised the hunger and thirst after letters which women +feel when away from those whom they love. + +Then they heard at the Small House that the squire had gone away from +Allington. During the last few days Bernard had not been much with +them, and now they heard the news, not through their cousin, but from +Hopkins. + +"I really can't undertake to say, Miss Bell, where the master's gone +to. Its not likely the master'd tell me where he was going to; not +unless it was about seeds, or the likes of that." + +"He has gone very suddenly," said Bell. + +"Well, miss, I've nothing to say to that. And why shouldn't he go +sudden if he likes? I only know he had his gig, and went to the +station. If you was to bury me alive I couldn't tell you more." + +"I should like to try," said Lily as they walked away. + +"He is such a cross old thing. I wonder whether Bernard has gone with +my uncle." And then they thought no more about it. + +On the day after that Bernard came down to the Small House, but he said +nothing by way of accounting for the squire's absence. + +"He is in London, I know," said Bernard. + +"I hope he'll call on Mr Crosbie," said Lily. But on this subject +Bernard said not a word. He did ask Lily whether she had heard from +Adolphus, in answer to which she replied, with as indifferent a voice +as she could assume, that she had not had a letter that morning. + +"I shall be angry with him if he's not a good correspondent," said Mrs +Dale, when she and Lily were alone together. + +"No, mamma, you mustn't be angry with him. I won't let you be angry +with him. Please to remember he's my lover and not yours." + +"But I can see you when you watch for the postman." + +"I won't watch for the postman any more if it makes you have bad +thoughts about him. Yes, they are bad thoughts. I won't have you think +that he doesn't do everything that is right." + +On the next morning the postman brought a letter, or rather a note, and +Lily at once saw that it was from Crosbie. She had contrived to +intercept it near the back door, at which the postman called, so that +her mother should not watch her watchings, nor see her disappointment +if none should come. + +"Thank you, Jane," she said, very calmly, when the eager, kindly girl +ran to her with the little missive; and she walked off to some +solitude, trying to hide her impatience. The note had seemed so small +that it amazed her; but when she opened it the contents amazed her +more. There was neither beginning nor end. There was no appellation of +love, and no signature. It contained but two lines. + +"I will write to you at length tomorrow. This is my first day in +London, and I have been so driven about that I cannot write." That was +all, and it was scrawled on half a sheet of note-paper. Why, at any +rate, had he not called her his dearest Lily? Why had he not assured +her that he was ever her own? Such expressions, meaning so much, may be +conveyed in a glance of the pen. + +"Ah," she said, "if he knew how I hunger and thirst after his love!" + +She had but a moment left to her before she must join her mother and +sister, and she used that moment in remembering her promise. + +"I know it is all right," she said to herself. + +"He does not think of these things as I do. He had to write at the last +moment--as he was leaving his office." And then with a quiet, smiling +face, she walked into the breakfast-parlour. + +"What does he say, Lily?" asked Bell. + +"What would you give to know?" said Lily. + +"I wouldn't give twopence for the whole of it," said Bell. + +"When you get anybody to write to you letters, I wonder whether you'll +show them to everybody?" + +"But if there's any special London news, I suppose we might hear it," +said Mrs Dale. + +"But suppose there's no special London news, mamma. The poor man had +only been in town one day, you know: and there never is any news at +this time of the year." + +"Had he seen Uncle Christopher?" + +"I don't think he had; but he doesn't say. We shall get all the news +from him when he comes. He cares much more about London news than +Adolphus does." And then there was no more said about the letter. + +But Lily had read her two former letters over and over again at the +breakfast-table; and though she had not read them aloud, she had +repeated many words out of them, and had so annotated upon them that +her mother, who had heard her, could have almost re-written them. Now, +she did not even show the paper; and then her absence, during which she +had read the letter, had hardly exceeded a minute or two. All this Mrs +Dale observed, and she knew that her daughter had been again +disappointed. + +In fact that day Lily was very serious, but she did not appear to be +unhappy. Early after breakfast Bell went over to the parsonage, and Mrs +Dale and her youngest daughter sat together over their work. + +"Mamma," she said, "I hope you and I are not to be divided when I go to +live in London." + +"We shall never be divided in heart, my love." + +"Ah, but that will not be enough for happiness, though perhaps enough +to prevent absolute unhappiness. I shall want to see you, touch you, +and pet you as I do now." And she came and knelt on the cushion at her +mother's feet. + +"You will have some one else to caress and pet--perhaps many others." + +"Do you mean to say that you are going to throw me off, mamma?" + +"God forbid, my darling. It is not mothers that throw off their +children. What shall I have left when you and Bell are gone from me?" + +"But we will never be gone. That's what I mean. We are to be just the +same to you always, even though we are married. I must have my right to +be here as much as I have it now; and, in return, you shall have your +right to be there. His house must be a home to you--not a cold place +which you may visit now and again, with your best clothes on. You know +what I mean, when I say that we must not be divided." + +"But Lily--" + +"Well, mamma?" + +"I have no doubt we shall be happy together--you and I." + +"But you were going to say more than that." + +"Only this--that your house will be his house, and will be full without +me. A daughter's marriage is always a painful parting." + +"Is it, mamma?" + +"Not that I would have it otherwise than it is. Do not think that I +would wish to keep you at home with me. Of course you will both marry +and leave me. I hope that he to whom you are going to devote yourself +may be spared to love you and protect you." Then the widow's heart +became too full, and she put away her child from her that she might +hide her face. + +"Mamma, mamma, I wish I was not going from you." + +"No, Lily; do not say that. I should not be contented with life if I +did not see both my girls married. I think that it is the only lot +which can give to a woman perfect content and satisfaction. I would +have you both married. I should be the most selfish being alive if I +wished otherwise." + +"Bell will settle herself near you, and then you will see more of her +and love her better than you do me." + +"I shall not love her better." + +"I wish she would marry some London man, and then you would come with +us, and be near to us. Do you know, mamma I sometimes think you don't +like this place here." + +"Your uncle has been very kind to give it to us." + +"I know he has; and we have been very happy here. But if Bell should +leave you--" + +"Then should I go also. Your uncle has been very kind, but I sometimes +feel that his kindness is a burden which I should not be strong enough +to bear solely on my own shoulders. And what should keep me here, then?" +Mrs Dale as she said this felt that the "here" of which she spoke +extended beyond the limits of the home which she held through the +charity of her brother-in-law. Might not all the world, far as she was +concerned in it, be contained in that here? How was she to live if both +her children should be taken away from her? She had already realised +the fact that Crosbie's house could never be a home to her--never even a +temporary home. Her visits there must be of that full-dressed nature to +which Lily had alluded. It was impossible that she could explain this +to Lily. She would not prophesy that the hero of her girl's heart would +be inhospitable to his wife's mother; but such had been her reading of +Crosbie's character. Alas, alas, as matters were to go, his hospitality +or inhospitality would be matter of small moment to them. + +Again in the afternoon the two sisters were together, and Lily was +still more serious than her wont. It might almost have been gathered +from her manner that this marriage of hers was about to take place at +once, and that she was preparing to leave her home. + +"Bell," she said, + +"I wonder why Dr Crofts never comes to see us now?" + +"It isn't a month since he was here, at our party." +"A month! But there was a time when he made some pretext for being here +every other day." + +"Yes, when mamma was ill." + +"Ay, and since mamma was well, too. But I suppose I must not break the +promise you made me give you. He's not to be talked about even yet, is +he?" + +"I didn't say he was not to be talked about. You know what I meant, +Lily; and what I meant then, I mean now." + +"And how long will it be before you mean something else? I do hope it +will come some day--I do indeed." + +"It never will, Lily. I once fancied that I cared for Dr Crofts, but it +was only fancy. I know it, because--" She was going to explain that her +knowledge on that point was assured to her, because since that day she +had felt that she might have learned to love another man. But that +other man had been Mr Crosbie, and so she stopped herself. + +"I wish he would come and ask you himself." + +"He will never do so. He would never ask such a question without +encouragement, and I shall give him none. Nor will he ever think of +marrying till he can do so without--without what he thinks to be +imprudence as regards money. He has courage enough to be poor himself +without unhappiness, but he has not courage to endure poverty with a +wife. I know well what his feelings are." + +"Well, we shall see," said Lily. + +"I shouldn't wonder if you were married first now, Bell. For my part +I'm quite prepared to wait for three years." + +Late on that evening the squire returned to Allington, Bernard having +driven over to meet him at the station. He had telegraphed to his +nephew that he would be back by a late train, and no more than this had +been heard from him since he went. On that day Bernard had seen none of +the ladies at the Small House. With Bell at the present moment it was +impossible that he should be on easy terms. He could not meet her alone +without recurring to the one special subject of interest between them, +and as to that he did not choose to speak without much forethought. He +had not known himself, when he had gone about his wooing so lightly, +thinking it a slight thing, whether or no he might be accepted. Now it +was no longer a slight thing to him. I do not know that it was love +that made him so eager; not good, honest, downright love. But he had +set his heart upon the object, and with the wilfulness of a Dale was +determined that it should be his. He had no remotest idea of giving up +his cousin, but he had at last persuaded himself that she was not to be +won without some toil, and perhaps also some delay. + +Nor had he been in a humour to talk either to Mrs Dale or to Lily. He +feared that Lady Julia's news was true--that at any rate there might be +in it something of truth; and while thus in doubt he could not go down +to the Small House. So he hung about the place by himself, with a cigar +in his mouth, fearing that something evil was going to happen, and when +the message came for him, almost shuddered as he seated himself in the +gig. What would it become him to do in this emergency if Crosbie had +truly been guilty of the villany with which Lady Julia had charged him? +Thirty years ago he would have called the man out, and shot at him till +one of them was hit. Nowadays it was hardly possible for a man to do +that; and yet what would the world say of him if he allowed such an +injury as this to pass without vengeance? + +His uncle, as he came forth from the station with his travelling-bag in +his hand, was stem, gloomy, and silent. He came out and took his place +in the gig almost without speaking. There were strangers about, and +therefore his nephew at first could ask no question, but as the gig +turned the corner out of the station-house yard he demanded the news. + +"What have you heard?" he said. + +But even then the squire did not answer at once. He shook his head, and +turned away his face, as though he did not choose to be interrogated. + +"Have you seen him, sir?" asked Bernard. + +"No, he has not dared to see me." + +"Then it is true? + +"True?--yes, it is all true. Why did you bring the scoundrel here? It +has been your fault." + +"No, sir; I must contradict that. I did not know him for a scoundrel." + +"But it was your duty to have known him before you brought him here +among them. Poor girl! how is she to be told?" + +"Then she does not know it?" + +"I fear not. Have you seen them? + +"I saw them yesterday, and she did not know it then; she may have heard +it today." + +"I don't think so. I believe he has been too great a coward to write to +her. A coward indeed! How can any man find the courage to write such a +letter as that?" + +By degrees the squire told his tale. How he had gone to Lady Julia, had +made his way to London, had tracked Crosbie to his club, and had there +learned the whole truth from Crosbie's friend, Fowler Pratt, we already +know. + +"The coward escaped me while I was talking to the man he sent down," +said the squire. + +"It was a concerted plan, and I think he was right. I should have +brained him in the hall of the club." On the following morning Pratt +had called upon him at his inn with Crosbie's apology. + +"His apology!" said the squire. + +"I have it in my pocket. Poor reptile; wretched worm of a man! I cannot +understand it. On my honour, Bernard, I do not understand it. I think +men are changed since I knew much of them. It would have been +impossible for me to write such a letter as that." He went on telling +how Pratt had brought him this letter, and had stated that Crosbie +declined an interview. + +"The gentleman had the goodness to assure me that no good could come +from such a meeting. 'You mean,' I answered, that I cannot touch pitch +and not be defiled!' He acknowledged that the man was pitch. Indeed, he +could not say a word for his friend." + +"I know Pratt. He is a gentleman. I am sure he would not excuse him." + +"Excuse him! How could any one excuse him? Words could not be found to +excuse him." And then he sat silent for some half mile. + +"On my honour, Bernard, I can hardly yet bring myself to believe it. It +is so new to me. It makes me feel that the world is changed, and that +it is no longer worth a man's while to live in it." + +"And he is engaged to this other girl? + +"Oh, yes; with the full consent of the family. It is all arranged, and +the settlements, no doubt, in the lawyer's hands by this time. He must +have gone away from here determined to throw her over. Indeed, I don't +suppose he ever meant to marry her. He was just passing away his time +here in the country." + +"He meant it up to the time of his leaving." + +"I don't think it. Had he found me able and willing to give her a +fortune he might, perhaps, have married her. But I don't think he meant +it for a moment after I told him that she would have nothing. Well, +here we are. I may truly say that I never before came back to my own +house with so sore a heart." + +They sat silently over their supper, the squire showing more open +sorrow than might have been expected from his character. + +"What am I to say to them in the morning?" he repeated over and over +again. + +"How am I to do it? And if I tell the mother, how is she to tell her +child?" + +"Do you think that he has given no intimation of his purpose?" + +"As far as I can tell, none. That man Pratt knew that he had not done +so yesterday afternoon. I asked him what were the intentions of his +blackguard friend, and he said that he did not know--that Crosbie would +probably have written to me. Then he brought me this letter. There it +is," and the squire threw the letter over the table; "read it and let +me have it back. He thinks probably that the trouble is now over as far +as he is concerned." + +It was a vile letter to have written--not because the language was bad, +or the mode of expression unfeeling, or the facts falsely stated--but +because the thing to be told was in itself so vile. There are deeds +which will not bear a gloss--sins as to which the perpetrator cannot +speak otherwise than as a reptile; circumstances which change a man and +put upon him the worthlessness of vermin. Crosbie had struggled hard to +write it, going home to do it after his last interview on that night +with Pratt. But he had sat moodily in his chair at his lodgings, unable +to take the pen in his hand. Pratt was to come to him at his office on +the following morning, and he went to bed resolving that he would write +it at his desk. On the next day Pratt was there before a word of it had +been written. + +"I can't stand this kind of thing," said Pratt. + +"If you mean me to take it, you must write it at once." Then, with +inward groaning, Crosbie sat himself at his table, and the words at +last were forthcoming. Such words as they were! + +"I know that I can have no excuse to make to you--or to her. But, +circumstanced as I now am, the truth is the best. I feel that I should +not make Miss Dale happy; and, therefore, as an honest man, I think I +best do my duty by relinquishing the honour which she and you had +proposed for me." There was more of it, but we all know of what words +such letters are composed, and how men write when they feel themselves +constrained to write as reptiles. + +"As an honest man!" repeated the squire. + +"On my honour, Bernard, as a gentleman, I do not understand it. I +cannot believe it possible that the man who wrote that letter was +sitting the other day as a guest at my table." + +"What are we to do to him?" said Bernard, after a while. + +"Treat him as you would a rat. Throw your stick at him, if he comes +under your feet; but beware, above all things, that he does not get +into your house. That is too late for us now." + +"There must be more than that, uncle." + +"I don't know what more. There are deeds for committing which a man is +doubly damned, because he has screened himself from overt punishment by +the nature of his own villany. We have to remember Lily's name, and do +what may best tend to her comfort. Poor girl! poor girl!" + +Then they were silent, till the squire rose and took his bed candle. + +"Bernard," he said, "let my sister-in-law know early tomorrow that I +will see her here, if she will be good enough to come to me after +breakfast. Do not have anything else said at the Small House. It may be +that he has written today." + +Then the squire went to bed, and Bernard sat over the dining-room fire, +meditating on it all. How would the world expect that he should behave +to Crosbie? and what should he do when he met Crosbie at the club? + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII + +THE BOARD + +Crosbie, as we already know, went to his office in Whitehall on the +morning after his escape from Sebright's, at which establishment he +left the Squire of Allington in conference with Fowler Pratt. He had +seen Fowler Pratt again that same night, and the course of the story +will have shown what took place at that interview. + +He went early to his office, knowing that he had before him the work of +writing two letters, neither of which would run very glibly from his +pen. One was to be his missive to the squire, to be delivered by his +friend; the other, that fatal epistle to poor Lily, which, as the day +passed away, he found himself utterly unable to accomplish. The letter +to the squire he did write, under certain threats; and, as we have +seen, was considered to have degraded himself to the vermin rank of +humanity by the meanness of his production. + +But on reaching his office he found that other cares awaited him--cares +which he would have taken much delight in bearing, had the state of his +mind enabled him to take delight in anything. On entering the lobby of +his office, at ten o'clock, he became aware that he was received by the +messengers assembled there with almost more than their usual deference. +He was always a great man at the General Committee Office; but there +are shades of greatness and shades of deference, which, though quite +beyond the powers of definition, nevertheless manifest themselves +clearly to the experienced ear and eye. He walked through to his own +apartment, and there found two official letters addressed to him lying +on his table. The first which came to hand, though official, was small, +and marked private, and it was addressed in the handwriting of his old +friend, Butterwell, the outgoing secretary. + +"I shall see you in the morning, nearly as soon as you get this," said +the semi-official note; "but I must be the first to congratulate you on +the acquisition of my old shoes. They will be very easy in the wearing +to you, though they pinched my corns a little at first. I dare say they +want new soling, and perhaps they are a little down at the heels; but +you will find some excellent cobbler to make them all right, and will +give them a grace in the wearing which they have sadly lacked since +they came into my possession. I wish you much joy with them," etc., etc. +He then opened the larger official letter, but that had now but little +interest for him. He could have made a copy of the contents without +seeing them. The Board of Commissioners had had great pleasure in +promoting him to the office of secretary, vacated by the promotion of +Mr Butterwell to a seat at their own Board; and then the letter was +signed by Mr Butterwell himself. + +How delightful to him would have been this welcome on his return to his +office had his heart in other respects been free from care! And as he +thought of this, he remembered all Lily's charms. He told himself how +much she excelled the noble scion of the De Courcy stock, with whom he +was now destined to mate himself; how the bride he had rejected +excelled the one he had chosen in grace, beauty, faith, freshness, and +all feminine virtues. If he could only wipe out the last fortnight from +the facts of his existence! But fortnights such as those are not to be +wiped out--not even with many sorrowful years of tedious scrubbing. + +And at this moment it seemed to him as though all those impediments +which had frightened him when he had thought of marrying Lily Dale were +withdrawn. That which would have been terrible with seven or eight +hundred a year, would have been made delightful with twelve or +thirteen. Why had his fate been so unkind to him? Why had not this +promotion come to him but one fortnight earlier? Why had it not been +declared before he had made his visit to that terrible castle?' He even +said to himself that if he had positively known the fact before Pratt +had seen Mr Dale, he would have sent a different message to the squire, +and would have braved the anger of all the race of the De Courcys. But +in that he lied to himself, and he knew that he did so. An earl, in +his imagination, was hedged by so strong a divinity, that his treason +towards Alexandrina could do no more than peep at what it would. It had +been considered but little by him, when the: project first offered +itself to his mind, to jilt the niece of a small rural squire; but it +was not in him to jilt the daughter of a countess. + +That house full of babies' in St. John's Wood appeared to him now +under a very different guise from that which it wore as he sat in his +room at Courcy Castle on the evening of his arrival there. Then such an +establishment had to him the flavour of a graveyard. It was as though +he were going to bury himself alive. Now that it was out of his reach, +he thought of it as a paradise upon earth. And then he considered what +sort of a paradise Lady Alexandrina would make for him. It was +astonishing how ugly was the Lady Alexandrina, how old, how graceless, +how destitute of all pleasant charm, seen through the spectacles which +he wore at the present moment. + +During his first hour at the office he did nothing. One or two of the +younger clerks came in and congratulated him with much heartiness. He +was popular at his office, and they had got a step by his promotion. +Then he met, one or two of the elder clerks, and was congratulated with +much less heartiness. + +"I suppose it's all right," said one bluff old gentleman. "My time is +gone by, I know. I married too early to be able to wear a good coat +when I was young, and I never was acquainted with any lords or lords' +families." The sting of this was the sharper because Crosbie had begun +to feel how absolutely useless to him had been all that high interest +and noble connection which he had formed. He had really been promoted +because he knew more about his work than any of the other men, and Lady +de Courcy's influential relation at the India Board had not yet even +had time to write a note upon the subject. + +At eleven Mr Butterwell came into Crosbie's room, and the new secretary +was forced to clothe himself in smiles. Mr Butterwell was a pleasant, +handsome man of about fifty, who had never yet set the Thames on fire, +and had never attempted to do so. He was perhaps a little more civil to +great men and a little more patronising to those below him than he +would have been had he been perfect. But there was something frank and +English even in his mode of bowing before the mighty ones, and to those +who were not mighty he was rather too civil than either stern or +supercilious. He knew that he was not very clever, but he knew also how +to use those who were clever. He seldom made any mistake, and was very +scrupulous not to tread on men's corns. Though he had no enemies, yet +he had a friend or two; and we may therefore say of Mr Butterwell that +he had walked his path in life discreetly. At the age of thirty-five he +had married a lady with some little fortune, and now he lived a +pleasant, easy, smiling life in a villa at Putney. When Mr Butterwell +heard, as he often did hear, of the difficulty which an English +gentleman has of earning his bread in his own country, he was wont to +look back on his own career with some complacency. He knew that he had +not given the world much; yet he had received largely, and no one had +begrudged it to him. + +"Tact," Mr Butterwell used to say to himself, as he walked along the +paths of his Putney villa. "Tact. Tact. Tact." + +"Crosbie," he said, as he entered the room cheerily, "I congratulate +you with all my heart. I do, indeed. You have got the step early in +life, and you deserve it thoroughly--much better than I did when I was +appointed to the same office." + +"Oh, no," said Crosbie, gloomily. + +"But I say, Oh, yes. We are deuced lucky to have such a man, and so I +told the commissioners." + +"I'm sure I'm very much obliged to you." + +"I've known it all along--before you left even. Sir Raffle Buffle had +told me he was to go to the Income-tax Office. The chair is two +thousand there, you know; and I had been promised the first seat at the +Board." + +"Ah--I wish I'd known," said Crosbie. + +"You are much better as you are," said Butterwell. + +"There's no pleasure like a surprise! Besides, one knows a thing of +that kind, and yet doesn't know it. I don't mind saying now that I knew +it--swearing that I knew it--but I wouldn't have said so to a living +being the day before yesterday. There are such slips between the cups +and the lips. Suppose Sir Raffle had not gone to the Income Tax!" + +"Exactly so," said Crosbie. + +"But it's all right now. Indeed I sat at the Board yesterday, though I +signed the letter afterwards. I'm not sure that I don't lose more than +I gain." + +"What! with three hundred a year more and less work?" + +"Ah, but look at the interest of the thing. The secretary sees +everything and knows everything. But I'm getting old, and, as you say, +the lighter work will suit me. By-the-by, will you come down to Putney +tomorrow? Mrs Butterwell will be delighted to see the new secretary. +There's nobody in town now, so you can have no ground for refusing." + +But Mr Crosbie did find some ground for refusing. It would have been +impossible for him to have sat and smiled at Mrs Butterwell's table in +his present frame of mind. In a mysterious, half-explanatory manner, he +let Mr Butterwell know that private affairs of importance made it +absolutely necessary that he should remain that evening in town. + +"And indeed," as he said, "he was not his own master just at present." + +"By-the-by--of course not. I had quite forgotten to congratulate you on +that head. So you're going to be married? Well; I'm very glad, and hope +you'll be as lucky as I have been." + +"Thank you," said Crosbie, again rather gloomily. + +"A young lady from near Guestwick, isn't it; or somewhere in those +parts?" + +"N-no," stammered Crosbie. +"The lady comes from Barsetshire." + +"Why, I heard the name. Isn't she a Bell, or Tait, or Ball, or some +such name as that?" + +"No." said Crosbie, assuming what boldness he could command. "Her name +is De Courcy." + +"One of the earl's daughters?" + +"Yes," said Crosbie. + +"Oh. I beg your pardon. I'd heard wrong. You're going to be allied to a +very noble family, and I am heartily glad to hear of your success in +life." Then Butterwell shook him very cordially by the hand--having +offered him no such special testimony of approval when under the belief +that he was going to marry a Bell, a Tait, or a Ball. All the same, Mr +Butterwell began to think that there was something wrong. He had heard +from an indubitable source that Crosbie had engaged himself to a niece +of a squire with whom he had been staying near Guestwick--a girl without +any money; and Mr Butterwell, in his wisdom, had thought his friend +Crosbie to be rather a fool for his pains. But now he was going to +marry one of the De Courcys! Mr Butterwell was rather at his wits' ends. + +"Well; we shall be sitting at two, you know, and of course you'll come +to us. If you're at leisure before that I'll make over what papers I +have to you. I've not been a Lord Eldon in my office, and they won't +break your back." + +Immediately after that Fowler Pratt had been shown into Crosbie's room, +and Crosbie had written the letter to the squire under Pratt's eye. + +He could take no joy in his promotion. When Pratt left him he tried to +lighten his heart. He endeavoured to throw Lily and her wrongs behind +him, and fix his thoughts on his advancing successes in life; but he +could not do it. A self-imposed trouble will not allow itself to be +banished. If a man lose a thousand pounds by a friend's fault, or by a +turn in the wheel of fortune, he can, if he be a man, put his grief +down and trample it under foot; he can exercise the spirit of his +grievance, and bid the evil one depart from out of his house. But such +exorcism is not to be used when the sorrow has come from a man's own +folly and sin--especially not if it has come from his own selfishness. +Such are the cases which make men drink; which drive them on to the +avoidance of all thought; which create gamblers and reckless prodigals; +which are the promoters of suicide. How could he avoid writing this +letter to Lily? He might blow his brains out, and so let there be an +end of it all. It was to such reflections that he came, when he sat +himself down endeavouring to reap satisfaction from his promotion. + +But Crosbie was not a man to commit suicide. In giving him his due I +must protest that he was too good for that. He knew too well that a +pistol-bullet could not be the be-all and the end-all here, and there +was too much manliness in him for so cowardly an escape. The burden +must be borne. But how was he to bear it? There he sat till it was two +o'clock, neglecting Mr Butterwell and his office papers, and not +stirring from his seat till a messenger summoned him before the Board. +The Board, as he entered the room, was not such a Board as the public +may, perhaps, imagine such Boards to be. There was a round table, with +a few pens lying about, and a comfortable leathern arm-chair at the +side of it, farthest from the door Sir Raffle Buffle was leaving his +late colleagues, and was standing with his back to the fire-place, +talking very loudly. Sir Raffle was a great bully, and the Board was +uncommonly glad to be rid of him; but as this was to be his last +appearance at the Committee Office, they submitted to his voice meekly. +Mr Butterwell was standing close to him, essaying to laugh mildly at +Sir Raffle's jokes. A little man, hardly more than five feet high, with +small but honest-looking eyes, and close-cut hair, was standing behind +the arm-chair, rubbing his hands together, and longing for the +departure of Sir Raffle, in order that he might sit down. This was Mr +Optimist, the new chairman, in praise of whose appointment the Daily +Jupiter had been so loud, declaring that the present Minister was +showing himself superior to all Ministers who had ever gone before him, +in giving promotion solely on the score of merit. The Daily Jupiter, a +fortnight since, had published a very eloquent article, strongly +advocating the claims of Mr Optimist, and was naturally pleased to find +that its advice had been taken. Has not an obedient Minister a right to +the praise of those powers which he obeys? + +Mr Optimist was, in truth, an industrious little gentleman, very well +connected, who had served the public all his life, and who was, at any +rate, honest in his dealings. Nor was he a bully, such as his +predecessor. It might, however, be a question whether he carried guns +enough for the command in which he was now to be employed. There was +but one other member of the Board, Major Fiasco by name, a +discontented, brokenhearted, silent man, who had been sent to the +General Committee Office some few years before because he was not +wanted anywhere else. He was a man who had intended to do great things +when he entered public life, and had possessed the talent and energy +for things moderately great. He had also possessed to a certain extent +the ear of those high in office; but, in some way, matters had not gone +well with him, and in running his course he had gone on the wrong side +of the post. He was still in the prime of life, and yet all men knew +that Major Fiasco had nothing further to expect from the public or from +the Government. Indeed, there were not wanting those who said that +Major Fiasco was already in receipt of a liberal income, for which he +gave no work in return; that he merely filled a chair for four hours a +day four or five days a week, signing his name to certain forms and +documents, reading, or pretending to read, certain papers, but, in +truth, doing no good. Major Fiasco, on the other hand, considered +himself to be a deeply injured individual, and he spent his life in +brooding over his wrongs. He believed now in nothing and in nobody. He +had begun public life striving to be honest, and he now regarded all +around him as dishonest. He had no satisfaction in any man other than +that which he found when some event would show to him that this or that +other compeer of his own had proved himself to be self-interested, +false, or fraudulent. + +"Don't tell me, Butterwell," he would say--for with Mr Butterwell he +maintained some semi-official intimacy, and he would take that +gentleman by the button-hole, holding him close. + +"Don't tell me. I know what men are. I've seen the world. I've been +looking at things with my eyes open. I knew what he was doing." And +then he would tell of the sly deed of some official known well to them +both, not denouncing it by any means, but affecting to take it for +granted that the man in question was a rogue. Butterwell would shrug +his shoulders, and laugh gently, and say that, upon his word, he didn't +think the world so bad as Fiasco made it out to be. + +Nor did he; for Butterwell believed in many things. He believed in his +Putney villa on this earth, and he believed also that he might achieve +some sort of Putney villa in the world beyond without undergoing +present martyrdom. His Putney villa first, with all its attendant +comforts, and then his duty to the public afterwards. It was thus that +Mr Butterwell regulated his conduct; and as he was solicitous that the +villa should be as comfortable a home to his wife as to himself, and +that it should be specially comfortable to his friends, I do not think +that we need quarrel with his creed. + +Mr Optimist believed in everything, but especially he believed in the +Prime Minister, in the Daily Jupiter, in the General Committee Office, +and in himself. He had long thought that everything was nearly right; +but now that he himself was chairman at the General Committee Office, +he was quite sure that everything must be right. In Sir Raffle Buffle, +indeed, he had never believed; and now it was, perhaps, the greatest +joy of his life that he should never again be called upon to hear the +tones of that terrible knight's hated voice. + +Seeing who were the components of the new Board, it may be presumed +that Crosbie would look forward to enjoying a not uninfluential +position in his office. There were, indeed, some among the clerks who +did not hesitate to say that the new secretary would have it pretty +nearly all his own way. As for "old Opt," there would be, they said, no +difficulty about him. Only tell him that such and such a decision was +his own, and he would be sure to believe the teller. Butterwell was not +fond of work, and had been accustomed to lean upon Crosbie for many +years. As for Fiasco, he would be cynical in words, but wholly +indifferent in deed. If the whole office were made to go to the +mischief, Fiasco, in his own grim way, would enjoy the confusion. + +"Wish you joy, Crosbie," said Sir Raffle, standing up on the rug, +waiting for the new secretary to go up to him and shake hands. But Sir +Raffle was going, and the new secretary did not indulge him. + +"Thank ye, Sir Raffle," said Crosbie, without going near the rug. + +"Mr Crosbie, I congratulate you most sincerely," said Mr Optimist. +"Your promotion has been the result altogether of your own merit. You +have been selected for the high office which you are now called upon to +fill solely because it has been thought that you are the most fit man +to perform the onerous duties attached to it. Hum-hum-ha. As, regards +my share in the recommendation which we found ourselves bound to submit +to the Treasury, I must say that I never felt less hesitation in my +life, and I believe I may declare as much as regards the other members +of the Board." And Mr Optimist looked around him for approving words. +He had come forward from his standing ground behind his chair to +welcome Crosbie, and had shaken his hand cordially. Fiasco also had +risen from his seat, and had assured Crosbie in a whisper that he had +feathered, his nest uncommon well. Then he had sat down again. + +"Indeed you may, as far as I am concerned," said Butterwell. + +"I told the Chancellor of the Exchequer," said Sir Raffle, speaking +very loud and with much authority, "that unless he had some first-rate +man to send from elsewhere I could name a fitting candidate. 'Sir +Raffle,' he said, 'I mean to keep it in the office, and therefore shall +be glad of your opinion.' 'In that case, Mr Chancellor,' said I, 'Mr +Crosbie must be the man.' 'Mr Crosbie shall be the man,' said the +Chancellor. And Mr Crosbie is the man." + +"Your friend Sark spoke to Lord Brock about it," said Fiasco. Now the +Earl of Sark was a young nobleman of much influence at the present +moment, and Lord Brock was the Prime Minister. "You should thank Lord +Sark." + +"Had as much to do with it as if my footman had spoken," said Sir +Raffle. + +"I am very much obliged to the Board for their good opinion," said +Crosbie, gravely. "I am obliged to Lord Sark as well-and also to your +footman, Sir Raffle, if, as you seem to say, he has interested himself +in my favour." + +"I didn't say anything of the kind," said Sir Raffle. + +"I thought it right to make you understand that it was my opinion, +given, of course, officially, which prevailed with the Chancellor of +the Exchequer. Well, gentlemen, as I shall be wanted in the city, I +will say good-morning to you. Is my carriage ready, Boggs?" Upon which +the attendant messenger opened the door, and the great Sir Raffle +Buffle took his final departure from the scene of his former labours. + +"As to the duties of your new office"--and Mr Optimist continued his +speech, taking no other notice of the departure of his enemy than what +was indicated by an increased brightness of his eye and a more +satisfactory tone of voice--" you will find yourself quite familiar with +them." + +"Indeed he will," said Butterwell. + +"And I am quite sure that you will perform them with equal credit to +yourself, satisfaction to the department, and advantage to the public. +We shall always be glad to have your opinion on any subject of +importance that may come before us; and as regards the internal +discipline of the office, we feel that we may leave it safely in your +hands. In any matter of importance you will, of course, consult us, and +I feel very confident that we shall go on together with great comfort +and with mutual confidence." Then Mr Optimist looked at his brother +commissioners, sat down in his arm-chair, and taking in his hands some +papers before him, began the routine business of the day. + +It was nearly five o'clock when, on this special occasion, the +secretary returned from the board-room to his own office. Not for a +moment had the weight been off his shoulders while Sir Raffle had been +bragging or Mr Optimist making his speech. He had been thinking, not of +them, but of Lily Dale; and though they had not discovered his +thoughts, they had perceived that he was hardly like himself. + +"I never saw a man so little elated by good fortune in my life," said +Mr Optimist. + +"Ah, he's got something on his mind," said Butterwell. He's going to be +married, I believe." + +"If that's the case, it's no wonder he shouldn't be elated," said Major +Fiasco, who was himself a bachelor. + +When in his own room again, Crosbie at once seized on a sheet of +note-paper, as though by hurrying himself on with it he could get that +letter to Allington written. But thought the paper was before him, and +the pen in his hand, the letter did not, would not, get itself written. +With what words was he to begin it? To whom should it be written? How +was he to declare himself the villain which he had made himself? The +letters from his office were taken away every night shortly after six, +and at six o'clock he had not written a word. + +"I will do it at home to-night," he said, to himself, and then, tearing +off a scrap of paper, he scratched those few lines which Lily received, +and which she had declined to communicate to her mother or sister. +Crosbie, as he wrote them, conceived that they would in some way +prepare the poor girl for the coming blow--that they would, at any rate, +make her know that all was not right; but in so supposing he had not +counted on the constancy of her nature, nor had he thought of the +promise which, she had given him that nothing should make her doubt +him. He wrote the scrap, and then taking his hat walked off through the +gloom of the November evening up Charing Cross and St. Martin's Lane, +towards the Seven Dials and Bloomsbury into regions of the town with +which he had no business, and which he never frequented. He hardly knew +where he went or wherefore. How was he to escape from the weight of the +burden which was now crushing him? It seemed to him as though he would +change his position with thankfulness for that of the junior clerk in +his office, if only that junior clerk had upon his mind no such +betrayal of trust as that of which he was guilty. + +At half-past seven he found himself at Sebright's, and there he dined. +A man will dine, even though his heart be breaking. Then he got into a +cab, and had himself taken home to Mount Street. During his walk he had +sworn to himself that he would not go to bed that night till the letter +was written and posted. It was twelve before the first words were +marked on the paper, and yet he kept his oath. Between two and three, +in the cold moonlight, he crawled out and deposited his letter in the +nearest post-office. + + + +CHAPTER XXIX + +JOHN EAMES RETURNS TO BURTON CRESCENT + +John Eames and Crosbie returned to town on the same day. It will be +remembered how Eames had assisted Lord de Guest in the matter of the +bull, and how great had been the earl's gratitude on the occasion. The +memory of this, and the strong encouragement which he received from his +mother and sister for having made such a friend by his gallantry, lent +some slight satisfaction to his last hours at home. But his two +misfortunes were too serious to allow of anything like real happiness. +He was leaving Lily behind him, engaged to be married to a man whom he +hated, and he was returning to Burton Crescent, where he would have to +face Amelia Roper--Amelia either in her rage or in her love. The +prospect of Amelia in her rage was very terrible to him; but his +greatest fear was of Amelia in her love. He had in his letter declined +matrimony; but what if she talked down all his objections, and carried +him off to church in spite of himself! + +When he reached London and got into a cab with his portmanteau, he +could hardly fetch up courage to bid the man drive him to Burton +Crescent. + +"I might as well go to an hotel for the night," he said to himself, +"and then I can learn how things are going on from Cradell at the +office." Nevertheless, he did give the direction to Burton Crescent, +and when it was once given felt ashamed to change it. But, as he was +driven up to the wellknown door, his heart was so low within him that +he might almost be said to have lost it. When the cabman demanded +whether he should knock, he could not answer; and when the maid-servant +at the door greeted him, he almost ran away. + +"Who's at home?" said he, asking the question in a very low voice. + +"There's missus," said the girl, "and Miss Spruce, and Mrs Lupex. He's +away somewhere, in his tantrums again; and there's Mr--" + +"Is Miss Roper here?" he said, still whispering. + +"Oh, yes! Miss Mealyer's here," said the girl, speaking in a cruelly +loud voice. "She was in the dining-room just now, putting out the +table. Miss Mealyer!" And the girl, as she called out the name, opened +the dining-room door. Johnny Eames felt that his knees were too weak to +support him. + +But Miss Mealyer was not in the dining-room. She had perceived the +advancing cab of her sworn adorer, and had thought it expedient to +retreat from her domestic duties, and fortify herself among her brushes +and ribbons. Had it been possible that she should know how very weak +and cowardly was the enemy against whom she was called upon to put +herself in action, she might probably have fought her battle somewhat +differently, and have achieved a speedy victory, at the cost of an +energetic shot or two. But she did not know. She thought it probable +that she might obtain power over him and manage him; but it did not +occur to her that his legs were so weak beneath him that she might +almost blow him over with a breath. None but the worst and most +heartless of women know the extent of their own power over men--as none +but the worst and most heartless of men know the extent of their power +over women. Amelia Roper was not a good specimen of the female sex, but +there were worse women than her. + +"She ain't there, Mr Eames; but you'll see her in the drawenroom," said +the girl. + +"And it's she'll be glad to see you back again, Mr Eames." But he +scrupulously passed the door of the upstairs sitting-room, not even +looking within it, and contrived to get himself into his own chamber +without having encountered anybody. + +"Here's yer 'ot water, Mr Eames," said the girl, coming up to him after +an interval of half-an-hour, "and dinner'll be on the table in ten +minutes. Mr Cradell is come in, and so is missus's son." + +It was still open to him to go out and dine at some eating-house in the +Strand. He could start out, leaving word that he was engaged, and so +postpone the evil hour. He had almost made up his mind to do so, and +certainly would have done it, had not the sitting-room door opened as +he was on the landing-place. The door opened, and he found himself +confronting the assembled company. First came Cradell, and leaning on +his arm, I regret to say, was Mrs Lupex--Egyptia conjux! Then there came +Miss Spruce with young Roper; Amelia and her mother brought up the rear +together. There was no longer question of flight now; and poor Eames, +before he knew what he was doing, was carried down into the dining-room +with the rest of the company. They were all glad to see him, and +welcomed him back warmly, but he was so much beside himself that he +could not ascertain whether Amelia's voice was joined with the others. +He was already seated at table, and had before him a plate of soup, +before he recognised the fact that he was sitting between Mrs Roper and +Mrs Lupex. The latter lady had separated herself from Mr Cradell as she +entered the room. + +"Under all the circumstances perhaps it will be better for us to be +apart," she said. "A lady can't make herself too safe; can she, Mrs +Roper? There's no danger between you and me, is there, Mr +Eames--specially when Miss Amelia is opposite?" The last words, however, +were intended to be whispered into his ear. + +But Johnny made no answer to her; contenting himself for the moment +with wiping the perspiration from his brow. There was Amelia opposite +to him, looking at him--the very Amelia to whom he had written, +declining the honour of marrying her. Of what her mood towards him +might be, he could form no judgment from her looks. Her face was simply +stern and impassive, and she seemed inclined to eat her dinner in +silence. A slight smile of derision had passed across her face as she +heard Mrs Lupex whisper, and it might have been discerned that her +nose, at the same time, became somewhat elevated; but she said not a +word. + +"I hope you've enjoyed yourself, Mr Eames, among the vernal beauties of +the country," said Mrs Lupex. + +"Very much, thank you," he replied. + +"There's nothing like the country at this autumnal season of the year. +As for myself, I've never been accustomed to remain in London after the +breaking up of the beau monde. We've usually been to Broadstairs, which +is a very charming place, with most elegant society, but now--"and she +shook her head, by which all the company knew that she intended to +allude to the sins of Mr Lupex. + +"I'd never wish to sleep out of London for my part," said Mrs Roper. + +"When a woman's got a house over her head, I don't think her mind's +ever easy out of it." + +She had not intended any reflection on Mrs Lupex for not having a house +of her own, but that lady immediately bristled up. + +"That's just what the snails say, Mrs Roper. And as for having a house +of one's own, it's a very good thing, no doubt, sometimes; but that's +according to circumstances. It has suited me lately to live in +lodgings, but there's no knowing whether I mayn't fall lower than that +yet, and have--" but here she stopped herself, and looking over at Mr +Cradell nodded her head. + +"And have to let them," said Mrs Roper. + +"I hope you'll be more lucky with your lodgers than I have been with +some of mine. Jemima, hand the potatoes to Miss Spruce. Miss Spruce, do +let me send you a little more gravy? There's plenty here, really." Mrs +Roper was probably thinking of Mr Todgers. + +"I hope I shall," said Mrs Lupex. + +"But, as I was saying, Broadstairs is delightful. Were you ever at +Broadstairs, Mr Cradell?" + +"Never, Mrs Lupex. I generally go abroad in my leave. One sees more of +the world, you know. I was at Dieppe last June, and found that very +delightful--though rather lonely. I shall go to Ostend this year; only +December is so late for Ostend. It was a deuced shame my getting +December, wasn't it, Johnny?" + +"Yes, it was," said Eames. + +"I managed better." + +"And what have you been doing, Mr Eames?" said Mrs Lupex, with one of +her sweetest smiles. + +"Whatever it may have been, you've not been false to the cause of +beauty, I'm sure." And she looked over to Amelia with a knowing smile. +But Amelia was engaged upon her plate, and went on with her dinner +without turning her eyes either on Mrs Lupex or on John Eames. + +"I haven't done anything particular," said Eames. + +"I've just been staying with my mother." + +"We've been very social here, haven't we, Miss Amelia?" continued Mrs +Lupex. + +"Only now and then a cloud comes across the heavens, and the lights at +the banquet are darkened." Then she put her handkerchief up to her +eyes, sobbing deeply, and they all knew that she was again alluding to +the sins of her husband. + +As soon as dinner was over the ladies with young Mr Roper retired, and +Eames and Cradell were left to take their wine over the dining-room +fire--or their glass of gin and water, as it might be. + +"Well, Caudle, old fellow," said one. + +"Well, Johnny, my boy," said the other. + +"What's the news at the office?" said Eames. + +"Muggeridge has been playing the very mischief." Muggeridge was the +second clerk in Cradell's room. + +"We're going to put him into Coventry and not speak to him except +officially. But to tell you the truth, my hands have been so full here +at home, that I haven't thought much about the office. What am I to do +about that woman? + +"Do about her? How do about her?" + +"Yes; what am I to do about her? How am I to manage with her? There's +Lupex off again in one of his fits of jealousy." + +"But it's not your fault, I suppose?" + +"Well; I can't just say. I am fond of her, and that's the long and the +short of it; deuced fond of her." + +"But, my dear Caudle, you know she's that man's wife." + +"Oh, yes, I know all about it. I'm not going to defend myself. It's +wrong, I know--pleasant, but wrong. But what's a fellow to do? I suppose +in strict morality I ought to leave the lodgings. But, by George, I +don't see why a man's to be turned out in that way. And then I couldn't +make a clean score with old mother Roper. But I say, old fellow, who +gave you the gold chain?" + +"Well; it was an old family friend at Guestwick; or rather, I should +say, a man who said he knew my father." + +"And he gave you that because he knew your governor! Is there a watch +to it? + +"Yes, there's a watch. It wasn't exactly that. There was some trouble +about a bull. To tell the truth, it was Lord de Guest; the queerest +fellow, Caudle, you ever met in your life; but such a trump. I've got +to go and dine with him at Christmas." And then the old story of the +bull was told. + +"I wish I could find a lord in a field with a bull," said Cradell. We +may, however, be permitted to doubt whether Mr Cradell would have +earned a watch even if he had had his wish. + +"You see," continued Cradell, reverting, to the subject on which he +most delighted to talk, + +"I'm not responsible for that man's ill-conduct." + +"Does anybody say you are? + +"No; nobody says so. But people seem to think so. When he is by I +hardly speak to her. She is thoughtless and giddy as women are, and +takes my arm, and that kind of thing, you know. It makes him mad with +rage, but upon my honour I don't think she means any harm." +"I don't suppose she does," said Eames. + +"Well; she may or she mayn't. I hope with all my heart she doesn't." + +"And where is he now?" + +"This is between ourselves, you know; but she went to find him this +afternoon. Unless he gives her money she can't stay here, nor, for the +matter of that, will she be able to go away. If I mention something to +you, you won't tell any one?" + +"Of course I won't." + +"I wouldn't have it known to any one for the world. I've lent her seven +pounds ten. It's that which makes me so short with mother Roper." + +"Then I think you're a fool for your pains." + +"Ah, that's so like you. I always said you'd no feeling of real +romance. If I cared for a woman I'd give her the coat off my back." + +"I'd do better than that," said Johnny. + +"I'd give her the heart out of my body. I'd be chopped up alive for a +girl I loved; but it shouldn't be for another man's wife." + +"That's a matter of taste. But she's been to Lupex today at that house +he goes to in Drury Lane. She had a terrible scene there. He was going +to commit suicide in the middle of the street, and she declares that it +all comes from jealousy. Think what a time I have of it--standing +always, as one may say, on gunpowder. He may turn up here any moment, +you know. But, upon my word, for the life of me I cannot desert her. If +I were to turn my back on her she wouldn't have a friend in the world. +And how's L. D.? I'll tell you what it is--you'll have some trouble with +the divine Amelia." + +"Shall I?" + +"By Jove, you will. But how's L. D. all this time?" + +"L. D. is engaged to be married to a man named Adolphus Crosbie," said +poor Johnny, slowly. + +"If you please, we will not say any more about her." + +"Whew-w-w! That's what makes you so down in the mouth! L. D. going to +marry Crosbie! Why, that's the man who is to be the new secretary at +the General Committee Office. Old Huffle Scuffle, who was their chair, +has come to us, you know. There's been a general move at the GC, and +this Crosbie has got to be secretary. He's a lucky chap, isn't he?" + +"I don't know anything about his luck. He's one of those fellows that +make me hate them the first time I look at them. I've a sort of a +feeling that I shall live to kick him some day." + +"That's the time, is it? Then I suppose Amelia will have it all her own +way now." + +"I'll tell you what, Caudle. I'd sooner get up through the trap-door, +and throw myself off the roof into the area, than marry Amelia Roper." + +"Have you and she had any conversation since you came back?" + +"Not a word." + +"Then I tell you fairly you've got trouble before you. Amelia and +Maria--Mrs Lupex, I mean--are as thick as thieves just at present, and +they have been talking you over. Maria--that is, Mrs Lupex--lets it all +out to me. You'll have to mind where you are, old fellow." + +Eames was not inclined to discuss the matter any further, so he +finished his toddy in silence. Cradell, however, who felt that there +was something in his affairs of which he had reason to be proud, soon +returned to the story of his own very extraordinary position. + +"By Jove, I don't know that a man was ever so circumstanced," he said. + +"She looks to me to protect her, and yet what can I do?" + +At last Cradell got up, and declared that he must go to the ladies. +"She's so nervous, that unless she has some one to countenance her she +becomes unwell." + +Eames declared his purpose of going to the divan, or to the theatre, or +to take a walk in the streets. The smiles of beauty had no longer +charms for him in Burton Crescent. + +"They'll expect you to take a cup of tea the first night," said +Cradell; but Eames declared that they might expect it. + +"I'm in no humour for it," said he. "I'll tell you what, Cradell, I +shall leave this place, and take rooms for myself somewhere. I'll never +go into a lodging-house again." + +As he so spoke, he was standing at the dining-room door; but he was not +allowed to escape in this easy way. Jemima, as he went out into the +passage, was there with a three-cornered note in her hand. + +"From Miss Mealyer," she said. "Miss Mealyer is in the back parlour all +by herself." + +Poor Johnny took the note, and read it by the lamp over the front door. + +"Are you not going to speak to me on the day of your return? It cannot +be that you will leave the house without seeing me for a moment. I am +in the back parlour." + +When he had read these words, he paused in the passage, with his hat +on. Jemima, who could not understand why any young man should hesitate +as to seeing his lady-love in the back parlour alone, whispered to him +again, in her audible way, + +"Miss Mealyer is there, sir; and all the rest on 'em's upstairs!" So +compelled, Eames put down his hat, and walked with slow steps into the +back parlour. + +How was it to be with the enemy? Was he to encounter Amelia in anger, +or Amelia in love? She had seemed to be stern and defiant when he had +ventured to steal a look at her across the dining-table, and now he +expected that she would turn upon him with loud threatenings and +protestations as to her wrongs. But it was not so. When he entered +the-room she was standing with her back to him, leaning on the +mantel-piece, and at the first moment she did not essay to peak. He +walked into the middle of the room and stood there, waiting for her to +begin. + +"Shut the door!" she said, looking over her shoulder. "I suppose you +don't want the girl to hear all you've got to say to me!" + +Then he shut the door; but still Amelia stood with her back to him, +leaning upon the mantelpiece. + +It did not seem that he had much to say, for he remained perfectly +silent. + +"Well!" said Amelia, after a long pause, and she then again looked over +her shoulder. "Well, Mr Eames!" + +"Jemima gave me your note, and so I've come," said he. + +"And is this the way we meet!" she exclaimed, turning suddenly upon +him, and throwing her long black hair back over her shoulders. There +certainly was some beauty about her. Her eyes were large and bright, +and her shoulders were well turned. She might have done as an artist's +model for a Judith, but I doubt whether any man, looking well into her +face, could think that she would do well as a wife. + +"Oh, John, is it to be thus, after love such as ours?" And she clasped +her hands together, and stood before him. + +"I don't know what you mean," said Eames. + +"If you are engaged to marry L. D., tell me so at once. Be a man, and +speak out, sir." + +"No," said Eames; "I am not engaged to marry the lady to whom you +allude." + +"On your honour?" + +"I won't have her spoken about. I'm not going to marry her, and that's +enough." + +"Do you think that I wish to speak of her? What can L. D. be to me as +long as she is nothing to you? Oh, Johnny, why did you write me that +heartless letter?" Then she leaned upon his shoulder--or attempted to do +so. + +I cannot say that Eames shook her off, seeing that he lacked the +courage to do so; but he shuffled his shoulder about so that the +support was uneasy to her, and she was driven to stand erect again. + +"Why did you write that cruel letter?" she said again. + +"Because I thought it best, Amelia. What's a man to do with ninety +pound a year, you know?" + +"But your mother allows you twenty." +"And what's a man to do with a hundred and ten?" + +"Rising five pounds every year," said the well-informed Amelia. "Of +course we should live here, with mamma, and you would just go on paying +her as you do now. If your heart was right, Johnny, you wouldn't think +so much about money. If you loved me--as you said you did--" Then a +little sob came, and the words were stopped. The words were stopped, +but she was again upon his shoulder. What was he to do? In truth, his +only wish was to escape, and yet his arm, quite in opposition to his +own desires, found its way round her waist. In such a combat a woman +has so many points in her favour! + +"Oh, Johnny," she said again, as soon as she felt the pressure of his +arm. + +"Gracious, what a beautiful watch you've got," and she took the trinket +out of his pocket. + +"Did you buy that?" + +"No; it was given to me." + +"John Eames, did L. D. give it you?" + +"No, no, no," he shouted, stamping on the floor as he spoke. + +"Oh, I beg your pardon," said Amelia, quelled for the moment by his +energy. + +"Perhaps it was your mother." + +"No; it was a man. Never mind about the watch now." + +"I wouldn't mind anything, Johnny, if you would tell me that you loved +me again. Perhaps I oughtn't to ask you, and it isn't becoming in a +lady; but how can I help it, when you know you've got my heart. Come +upstairs and have tea with us now, won't you?" + +What was he to do? He said that he would go up and have tea; and as he +led her to the door he put down his face and kissed her. Oh, Johnny +Eames! But then a woman in such a contest has so many points in her +favour. + + + +CHAPTER XXX + +IS IT FROM HIM? + +I have already declared that Crosbie wrote and posted the fatal letter +to Allington, and we must now follow it down to that place. On the +morning following the squire's return to his own house Mrs Crump, the +post-mistress at Allington, received a parcel by post directed to +herself. She opened it, and found an enclosure addressed to Mrs Dale, +with a written request that she would herself deliver it into that +lady's own hand at once. This was Crosbie's letter. + +"It's from Miss Lily's gentleman," said Mrs Crump, looking at the +handwriting. "There's 'something up, or he wouldn't be writing to her +mamma in this way." But Mrs Crump lost no time in putting on her +bonnet, and trudging up with the letter to the Small House. + +"I must see the missus herself," said Mrs Crump. Whereupon Mrs Dale was +called downstairs into the hail, and there received the packet. Lily +was in the breakfast-parlour, and had seen the post-mistress arrive--had +seen also that she carried a letter in her hand. For a moment she had +thought that it was for her, and imagined that the old woman had +brought it herself from simple good-nature. But Lily, when she heard +her mother mentioned, instantly withdrew and shut the parlour door. Her +heart misgave her that something was wrong, but she hardly tried to +think what it might be. After all, the regular postman might bring the +letter she herself expected. Bell was not yet downstairs, and she stood +alone over the tea-cups on the breakfast-table, feeling that there was +something for her to fear. Her mother did not come at once into the +room, but, after a pause of a moment or two, went again upstairs. So +she remained, either standing against the table, or at the window, or +seated in one of the two arm-chairs, for a space of ten minutes, when +Bell entered the room. + +"Isn't mamma down yet?" said Bell. + +"Bell," said Lily, "something has happened. Mamma has got a letter." + +"Happened! What has happened? Is anybody ill? Who is the letter from?" +And Bell was going to return through the door in search of her mother. + +"Stop, Bell," said Lily. "Do not go to her yet. I think it's +from--Adolphus." + +"Oh, Lily, what do you mean?" + +"I don't know, dear. We'll wait a little longer. Don't look like that, +Bell." And Lily strove to appear calm, and strove almost successfully. + +"You have frightened me so," said Bell. + +"I am frightened myself. He only sent me one line yesterday, and now he +has sent nothing. If some misfortune should have happened to him! Mrs +Crump brought down the letter herself to mamma, and that is so odd, you +know." + +"Are you sure it was from him?" + +"No; I have not spoken to her. I will go up to her now. Don't you come, +Bell. Oh! Bell, do not look so unhappy." She then went over and kissed +her sister, and after that, with very gentle steps, made her way up to +her mother's room. + +"Mamma, may I come in?" she said. + +"Oh! my child!" + +"I know it is from him, mamma. Tell me all at once." + +Mrs Dale had read the letter. With quick, glancing eyes, she had made +herself mistress of its whole contents, and was already aware of the +nature and extent of the sorrow which had come upon them. It was a +sorrow that admitted of no hope. The man who had written that letter +could never return again; nor if he should return could he be welcomed +back to them. The blow had fallen, and it was to be borne. Inside the +letter to herself had been a very small note addressed to Lily. + +"Give her the enclosed," Crosbie had said in his letter, "if you do not +now think it wrong to do so. I have left it open, that you may read +it." Mrs Dale, however, had not yet read it, and she now concealed it +beneath her handkerchief. + +I will not repeat at length Crosbie's letter to Mrs Dale. It covered +four sides of letter-paper, and was such a letter that any man who +wrote it must have felt himself to be a rascal. We saw that he had +difficulty in writing it, but the miracle was, that any man could have +found it possible to write it. + +"I know you will curse me," said he; "and I deserve to be cursed. I +know that I shall be punished for this, and I must bear my punishment. +My worst punishment will be this--that I never more shall hold up my +head again." And then, again, he said--"My only excuse is my conviction +that I should never make her happy. She has been brought up as an +angel, with pure thoughts, with holy hopes, with a belief in all that +is good, and high, and noble. I have been surrounded through my whole +life by things low, and mean, and ignoble. How could I live with her, +or she with me? I know now that this is so; but my fault has been that +I did not know it when I was there with her. I choose to tell you all," +he continued, towards the end of the letter, "and therefore I let you +know that I have engaged myself to marry another woman. Ah! I can +foresee how bitter will be your feelings when you read this: but they +will not be so bitter as mine while I write it. Yes; I am already +engaged to one who will suit me, and whom I may suit. You will not +expect me to speak ill of her who is to be near and dear to me. But she +is one with whom I may mate myself without an inward conviction that I +shall destroy all her happiness by doing so. Lilian," he said, "shall +always have my prayers; and I trust that she may soon forget, in the +love of an honest man, that she ever knew one so dishonest as--Adolphus +Crosbie." + +Of what like must have been his countenance as he sat writing such +words of himself under the ghastly light of his own small, solitary +lamp? Had he written his letter at his office, in the day-time, with +men coming in and out of his room, he could hardly have written of +himself so plainly. He would have bethought himself that the written +words might remain, and be read hereafter by other eyes than those for +which they were intended. But, as he sat alone, during the small hours +of the night, almost repenting of his sin with true repentance, he +declared to himself that he did not care who might read them. They +should, at any rate, be true. Now they had been read by her to whom +they had been addressed, and the daughter was standing before the +mother to hear her doom. + +"Tell me all at once," Lily had said; but in what words was her mother +to tell her? + +"Lily," she said, rising from her seat, and leaving the two letters on +the couch; that addressed to the daughter was hidden beneath a +handkerchief, but that which she had read she left open and in sight. +She took both the girl's hands in hers as she looked into her face, and +spoke to her. + +"Lily, my child!" Then she burst into sobs, and was unable to tell her +tale. + +"Is it from him, mamma? May I read it? He cannot be--" + +"It is from Mr Crosbie." + +"Is he ill, mamma? Tell me at once. If he is ill I will go to him." + +"No, my darling, he is not ill. Not yet--do not read it yet. Oh, Lily! +It brings bad news; very bad news." + +"Mamma, if he is not in danger, I can read it. Is it bad to him, or +only bad to me?" + +At this moment the servant knocked, and not waiting for an answer half +opened the door. + +"If you please, ma'am, Mr Bernard is below, and wants to speak to you." + +"Mr Bernard! ask Miss Bell to see him." + +"Miss Bell is with him, ma'am, but he says that he specially wants to +speak to you." + +Mrs Dale felt that she could not leave Lily alone. She could not take +the letter away, nor could she leave her child with the letter open. + +"I cannot see him," said Mrs Dale. + +"Ask him what it is. Tell him I cannot come down just at present." And +then the servant went, and Bernard left his message with Bell. + +"Bernard," she had said, "do you know of anything? Is there anything +wrong about Mr Crosbie?" Then, in a few words, he told her all, and +understanding why his aunt had not come down to him, he went back to +the Great House. Bell, almost stupefied by the tidings, seated herself +at the table unconsciously, leaning upon her elbows. + +"It will kill her," she said to herself. + +"My Lily, my darling Lily! It will surely kill her." + +But the mother was still with the daughter, and the story was still +untold. + +"Mamma," said Lily, "whatever it is, I must, of course, be made to know +it. I begin to guess the truth. It will pain you to say it. Shall I +read the letter?" + +Mrs Dale was astonished at her calmness. It could not be that she had +guessed the truth, or she would not stand like that, with tearless eyes +and unquelled courage before her. + +"You shall read it, but I ought to tell you first. Oh, my child, my own +one!" Lily was now leaning against the bed, and her mother was standing +over her, caressing her. + +"Then tell me," said she. + +"But I know what it is. He has thought it all over while away from me, +and he finds that it must not be as we have supposed. Before he went I +offered to release him, and now he knows that he had better accept my +offer. Is it so, mamma?" In answer to this Mrs Dale did not speak, but +Lily understood from her signs that it was so. + +"He might have written it to me, myself," said Lily very proudly. +"Mamma, we will go down to breakfast. He has sent nothing to me, then?" + +"There is a note. He bids me read it, but I have not opened it. It is +here." + +"Give it me," said Lily, almost sternly. "Let me have his last words to +me" and she took the note from her mother's hands. + +"Lily," said the note, "your mother will have told you all. Before you +read these few words you will know that you have trusted one who was +quite untrustworthy. I know that you will hate me. I cannot even ask +you to forgive me. You will let me pray that you may yet be happy.--A.C." + +She read these few words, still leaning against the bed. Then she got +up, and walking to a chair, seated herself with her back to her mother. +Mrs Dale moving silently after her stood over the back of the chair, +not daring to speak to her. So she sat for some five minutes, with her +eyes fixed upon the open window, and with Crosbie's note in her hand. + +"I will not hate him, and I do forgive him," she said at last, +struggling to command her voice, and hardly showing that she could not +altogether succeed in her attempt. "I may not write to him again, but +you shall write and tell him so. Now we will go down to breakfast." And +so saying, she got up from her chair. + +Mrs Dale almost feared to speak to her, her composure was so complete, +and her manner so stern and fixed. She hardly knew how to offer pity +and sympathy, seeing that pity seemed to be so little necessary, and +that even sympathy was not demanded. And she could not understand all +that Lily had said. What had she meant by the offer to release him? Had +there, then, been some quarrel between them before he went? Crosbie had +made no such allusion in his letter. But Mrs Dale did not dare to ask +any questions. + +"You frighten me, Lily," she said. "Your very calmness frightens me." + +"Dear mamma!" and the poor girl absolutely smiled a she embraced her +mother. + +"You need not be frightened by my calmness. I know the truth well. I +have been very unfortunate--very. The brightest hopes of my life are all +gone--and I shall never again see him whom I love beyond all the world!" +Then at last she broke down, and wept in her mother's arms. + +There was not a word of anger spoken then against him who had done all +this. Mrs Dale felt that she did not dare to speak in anger against +him, and words of anger were not likely to come from poor Lily. She, +indeed, hitherto did not know the whole of his offence, for she had not +read his letter. + +"Give it me, mamma," she said at last. "It has to be done sooner or +later." + +"Not now, Lily. I have told you all--all that you need know at present." + +"Yes; now, mamma," and again that sweet silvery voice became stern. "I +will read it now, and there shall be an end." Whereupon Mrs Dale gave +her the letter and she read it in silence. Her mother, though standing +somewhat behind her, watched her narrowly as she did so. She was now +lying over upon the bed, and the letter was on the pillow, as she +propped herself upon her arm. Her tears were running, and ever and +again she would stop to dry her eyes. Her sobs too were very audible, +but she went on steadily with her reading till she came to the line on +which Crosbie told that he had already engaged himself to another +woman. Then her mother could see that she paused suddenly, and that a +shudder slightly convulsed all her limbs. + +"He has been very quick," she said, almost in a whisper; and then she +finished the letter. "Tell him, mamma," she said, "that I do forgive +him, and I will not hate him. You will tell him that--from me; will you +not?" And then she raised herself from the bed. + +Mrs Dale would give her no such assurance. In her present mood her +feelings against Crosbie were of a nature which she herself hardly +could understand or analyse. She felt that if he were present she could +almost fly at him as would a tigress. She had never hated before as she +now hated this man. He was to her a murderer, and worse than a +murderer. He had made his way like a wolf into her little fold, and +torn her ewe-lamb and left her maimed and mutilated for life. How could +a mother forgive such an offence as that, or consent to be the medium +through which forgiveness should be expressed? + +"You must, mamma; or, if you do not, I shall do so. Remember that I +love him. You know what it is to have loved one single man. He has made +me very unhappy; I hardly know yet how unhappy. But I have loved him, +and do love him. I believe, in my heart, that he still loves me. Where +this has been there must not be hatred and unforgiveness." + +"I will pray that I may become able to forgive him," said Mrs Dale. + +"But you must write to him those words. Indeed you must, mamma! 'She +bids me tell you that she has forgiven you, and will not hate you.' +Promise me that!" + +"I can make no promise now, Lily. I will think about it, and endeavour +to do my duty." + +Lily was now seated, and was holding the skirt of her mother's dress. + +"Mamma," she said, looking up into her mother's face, "you must be very +good to me now; and I must be very good to you. We shall be always +together now. I must be your friend and counsellor; and be everything +to you, more than ever. I must fall in love with you now;" and she +smiled again, and the tears were almost dry upon her checks. + +At last they went down to the breakfast-room, from which Bell had not +moved. Mrs Dale entered the room first, and Lily followed, hiding +herself for a moment behind her mother. Then she came forward boldly, +and taking Bell in her arms, clasped her close to her bosom. + +"Bell," she said, "he has gone." + +"Lily! Lily! Lily!" said Bell, weeping. + +"He has gone! We shall talk it over in a few days, and shall know how +to do so without losing ourselves in misery. Today we will say no more +about it. I am so thirsty, Bell; do give me my tea" and she sat herself +down at the breakfast-table. + +Lily's tea was given to her, and she drank it. Beyond that I cannot say +that any of them partook with much heartiness of the meal. They sat +there, as they would have sat if no terrible thunderbolt had fallen +among them, and no word further was spoken about Crosbie and his +conduct. Immediately after breakfast they went into the other room, and +Lily, as was her wont, sat herself immediately down to her drawing. Her +mother looked at her with wistful eyes, longing to bid her spare +herself, but she shrank from interfering with her. For a quarter of an +hour Lily sat over her board, with her brush or pencil in her hand, and +then she rose up and put it away. + +"It is no good pretending," she said. "I am only spoiling the things; +but I will be better tomorrow. I'll go away and lie down by myself, +mamma." And so she went. + +Soon after this Mrs Dale took her bonnet and went up to the Great +House, having received her brother-in-law's message from Bell. + +"I know what he has to tell me," she said; "but I might as well go. It +will be necessary that we should speak to each other about it." So she +walked across the lawn, and up into the hail of the Great House. + +"Is my brother in the book-room?", she said to one of the maids; and +then knocking at the door, went in unannounced. + +The squire rose from his arm-chair, and came forward to meet her. + +"Mary," he said, "I believe you know it all." + +"Yes," she said. + +"You can read that," and she handed him Crosbie's letter. + +"How was one to know that any man could be so wicked as that?" + +"And she has heard it?" asked the squire. + +"Is she able to bear it?" +"Wonderfully! She has amazed me by her strength. It frightens me; for I +know that a relapse must come. She has never sunk for a moment beneath +it. For myself, I feel as though it were her strength that enables me +to bear my share of it." And then she described to the squire all that +had taken place that morning. + +"Poor child!" said the squire. + +"Poor child! What can we do for her? Would it be good for her to go +away for a time? She is a sweet, good, lovely girl, and has deserved +better than that. Sorrow and disappointment come to us all; but they +are doubly heavy when they come so early." + +Mrs Dale was almost surprised at the amount of sympathy which he showed. + +"And what is to be his punishment?" she asked. + +"The scorn which men and women will feel for him; those, at least, +whose esteem or scorn are matters of concern to any one. I know no +other punishment. You would not have Lily's name brought before a +tribunal of law?" + +"Certainly not that." + +"And I will not have Bernard calling him out. Indeed, it would be for +nothing; for in these days a man is not expected to fight duels." + +"You cannot think that I would wish that." + +"What punishment is there, then? I know of none. There are evils which +a man may do, and no one can punish him. I know of nothing. I went up +to London after him, but he continued to crawl out of my way. What can +you do to a rat but keep clear of him?" + +Mrs Dale had felt in her heart that it would be well if Crosbie could +be beaten till all his bones were sore. I hardly know whether such +should have been a woman's thought, but it was hers. She had no wish +that he should be made to fight a duel. In that there would have been +much that was wicked, and in her estimation nothing that was just. But +she felt that if Bernard would thrash the coward for his cowardice she +would love her nephew better than ever she had loved him. Bernard also +had considered it probable that he might be expected to horsewhip the +man who had jilted his cousin, and, as regarded the absolute bodily +risk, he would not have felt any insuperable objection to undertake the +task. But such a piece of work was disagreeable to him in many ways. He +hated the idea of a row at his club. He was most desirous that his +cousin's name should not be made public. He wished to avoid anything +that might be impolitic. A wicked thing had been done, and he was quite +ready to hate Crosbie as Crosbie ought to be hated; but as regarded +himself, it made him unhappy to think that the world might probably +expect him to punish the man who had so lately been his friend. And +then he did not know where to catch him, or how to thrash him when +caught. He was very sorry for his cousin, and felt strongly that +Crosbie should not be allowed to escape. But what was he to do? + +"Would she like to go anywhere?" said the squire again, anxious, if he +could, to afford solace by some act of generosity. At this moment he +would have settled a hundred a year for life upon his niece if by so +doing he could have done her any good. + +"She will be better at home," said Mrs Dale. + +"Poor thing. For a while she will wish to avoid going out." + +"I suppose so;" and then there was a pause. + +"I'll tell you what, Mary; I don't understand it. On my honour I don't +understand it. It is to me as wonderful as though I had caught the man +picking my pence out of my pocket. I don't think any man in the +position of a gentleman would have done such a thing when I was young. +I don't think any man would have dared to do it. But now it seems that +a man may act in that way and no harm come to him. He had a friend in +London who came to me and talked about it as though it were some +ordinary, everyday transaction of life. Yes; you may come in, Bernard. +The poor child knows it all now." + +Bernard offered to his aunt what of solace and sympathy he had to +offer, and made some sort of half-expressed apology for having +introduced this wolf into their flock. + +"We always thought very much of him at his club," said Bernard. + +"I don't know much about your London clubs nowadays," said his uncle, +"nor do I wish to do so if the society of that man can be endured after +what he has now done." + +"I don't suppose half-a-dozen men will ever know anything about it," +said Bernard. + +"Umph!" ejaculated the squire. He could not say that he wished +Crosbie's villany to be widely discussed, seeing that Lily's name was +so closely connected with it. But yet he could not support the idea +that Crosbie should not be punished by the frown of the world at large. +It seemed to him that from this time forward any man speaking to +Crosbie should be held to have disgraced himself by so doing. + +"Give her my best love," he said, as Mrs Dale got up to take her leave; +"my very best love. If her old uncle can do anything for her she has +only to let me know. She met the man in my house, and I feel that I owe +her much. Bid her come and see me. It will be better for her than +moping at home. And Mary"--this he said to her, whispering into her +ear--"think of what I said to you about Bell." + +Mrs Dale, as she walked back to her own house, acknowledged to herself +that her brother-in-law's manner was different to her from anything +that she had hitherto known of him. + +During the whole of that day Crosbie's name was not mentioned at the +Small House. Neither of the girls stirred out, and Bell spent the +greater part of the afternoon sitting, with her arm round her sister's +waist, upon the sofa. Each of them had a book; but though there was +little spoken, there was as little read. Who can describe the thoughts +that were passing through Lily's mind as she remembered the hours which +she had passed with Crosbie, of his warm assurances of love, of his +accepted caresses, of her uncontrolled and acknowledged joy in his +affection? It had all been holy to her then; and now those things which +were then sacred had been made almost disgraceful by his fault. And yet +as she thought of this she declared to herself over and over again that +she would forgive him--nay, that she had forgiven him. + +"And he shall know it, too," she said, speaking almost out loud. +"Lily, dear Lily," said Bell, "turn your thoughts away from it for a +while, if you can." + +"They won't go away," said Lily. And that was all that was said between +them on the subject. + +Everybody would know it! I doubt whether that must not be one of the +bitterest drops in the cup which a girl in such circumstances is made +to drain. Lily perceived early in the day that the parlour-maid well +knew that she had been jilted. The girl's manner was intended to convey +sympathy; but it did convey pity; and Lily for a moment felt angry. But +she remembered that it must be so, and smiled upon the girl, and spoke +kindly to her. What mattered it? All the world would know it in a day +or two. + +On the following day she went up, by her mother's advice, to see her +uncle. + +"My child," said he, "I am sorry for you. My heart bleeds for you." + +"Uncle," she said, "do not mind it. Only do this for me--do not talk +about it--I mean to me." + +"No, no; I will not. That there should ever have been in my house so +great a rascal--" + +"Uncle! uncle! I will not have that! I will not listen to a word +against him from any human being--not a word! Remember that!" And her +eyes flashed as she spoke. + +He did not answer her, but took her hand and pressed it, and then she +left him. + +"The Dales were ever constant!" he said to himself, as he walked up +and down the terrace before his house. "Ever constant!" + + + +CHAPTER XXXI + +THE WOUNDED FAWN + +Nearly two months passed away, and it was now Christmas time at +Allington. It may be presumed that there was no intention at either +house that the mirth should be very loud. Such a wound as that received +by Lily Dale was one from which recovery could not be quick, and it was +felt by all the family that a weight was upon them which made gaiety +impracticable. As for Lily herself it may be said that she bore her +misfortune with all a woman's courage. For the first week she stood up +as a tree that stands against the wind, which is soon to be shivered to +pieces because it will not bend. During that week her mother and sister +were frightened by her calmness and endurance. She would perform her +daily task. She would go out through the village, and appear at her +place in church on the first Sunday. She would sit over her book of an +evening, keeping back her tears; and would chide her mother and sister +when she found that they were regarding her with earnest anxiety. + +"Mamma, let it all be as though it had never been," she said. + +"Ah, dear! if that were but possible!" + +"God forbid that it should be possible inwardly," Lily replied. + +"But it is possible outwardly. I feel that you are more tender to me +than you used to be, and that upsets me. If you would only scold me +because I am idle, I should soon be better." But her mother could not +speak to her as she perhaps might have spoken had no grief fallen upon +her pet. She could not cease from those anxious tender glances which +made Lily know that she was looked on as a fawn wounded almost to death. + +At the end of the first week she gave way. + +"I won't get up, Bell," she said one morning, almost petulantly. + +"I am ill--I had better lie here out of the way. Don't make a fuss about +it. I'm stupid and foolish, and that makes me ill." + +Thereupon Mrs Dale and Bell were frightened, and looked into each +other's blank faces, remembering stories of poor broken-hearted girls +who had died because their loves had been unfortunate--as small wax +tapers whose lights are quenched if a breath of wind blows upon then +too strongly. But then Lily was in truth no such slight taper as that. +Nor was she the stem that must be broken because it will not bend. She +bent herself to the blast during that week of illness, and then arose +with her form still straight and graceful, and with her bright light +unquenched. + +After that she would talk more openly to her mother about her +loss--openly and with a true appreciation of the misfortune which had +befallen her; but with an assurance of strength which seemed to +ridicule the idea of a broken heart. + +"I know that I can bear it," she said, "and that I can bear it without +lasting unhappiness. Of course I shall always love him, and must feel +almost as you felt when you lost my father." In answer to this Mrs Dale +could say nothing. She could not speak out her thoughts about Crosbie, +and explain to Lily that he was unworthy of her love. Love does not +follow worth, and is not given to excellence--nor is it destroyed by +ill-usage, nor killed by blows and mutilation. When Lily declared that +she still loved the man who had so ill-used her, Mrs Dale would he +silent. Each perfectly understood the other, but on that matter even +they could not interchange their thoughts with freedom. + +"You must promise never to be tired of me, mamma," said Lily. + +"Mothers do not often get tired of their children, whatever the +children may do of their mothers." + +"I'm not so sure of that when the children turn out old maids. And I +mean to have a will of my own, too, mamma; and a way also, if it be +possible. When Bell is married I shall consider it a partnership, and I +shan't do what I'm told any longer." + +"Forewarned will be forearmed." + +"Exactly--and I don't want to take you by surprise. For a year or two +longer, till Bell is gone, I mean to be dutiful; but it would be very +stupid for a person to be dutiful all their lives." + +All of which Mrs Dale understood thoroughly. It amounted to an +assertion on Lily's part that she had loved once and could never love +again; that she had played her game, hoping, as other girls hope, that +she might win the prize of a husband; but that, having lost, she could +never play the game again. It was that inward conviction on Lily's part +which made her say such words to her mother. But Mrs Dale would by no +means allow herself to share this conviction. She declared to herself +that time would cure Lily's wound, and that her child might yet be +crowned by the bliss of a happy marriage. She would not in her heart +consent to that plan in accordance with which Lily's destiny in life +was to be regarded as already fixed. She had never really liked Crosbie +as a suitor, and would herself have preferred John Eames, with all the +faults of his hobbledehoyhood on his head. It might yet come to pass +that John Eames' love might be made happy. + +But in the meantime Lily, as I have said, had become strong in her +courage, and recommenced the work of living with no lackadaisical +self-assurance that because she had been made more unhappy than others, +therefore she should allow herself to be more idle. Morning and night +she prayed for him, and daily, almost hour by hour, she assured herself +that it was still her duty to love him. It was hard, this duty of +loving, without any power of expressing such love. But still she would +do her duty. + +"Tell me at once, mamma," she said one morning, "when you hear that the +day is fixed for his marriage. Pray don't keep me in the dark." + +"It is to be in February," said Mrs Dale. + +"But let me know the day. It must not be to me like ordinary days. But +do not look unhappy, mamma; I am not going to make a fool of myself. I +shan't steal off and appear in the church like a ghost." And then, +having uttered her little joke, a sob came, and she hid her face on her +mother's bosom. In a moment she raised it again. + +"Believe me, mamma, that I am not unhappy," she said. + +After the expiration of that second week Mrs Dale did write a letter to +Crosbie: + + +I suppose (she said) it is right that I should acknowledge the receipt +of your letter. I do not know that I have aught else to say to you. It +would not become me as a woman to say what I think of your conduct, but +I believe that your conscience will tell you the same things. If it do +not, you must, indeed, be hardened. I have promised my child that I +will send to you a message from her. She bids me tell you that she has +forgiven you, and that she does not hate you. May God also forgive you, +and may you recover his love. + +MARY DALE. + +I beg that no rejoinder may be made to this letter, either to myself or +to any of my family. + + +The squire wrote no answer to the letter which he had received, nor did +he take any steps towards the immediate punishment of Crosbie. Indeed +he had declared that no such steps could be taken, explaining to his +nephew that such a man could be served only as one serves a rat. + +"I shall never see him," he said once again; "if I did, I should not +scruple to hit him on the head with my stick; but I should think ill of +myself to go after him with such an object." + +And yet it was a terrible sorrow to the old man that the scoundrel who +had so injured him and his should escape scot-free. He had not forgiven +Crosbie. No idea of forgiveness had ever crossed his mind. He would +have hated himself had he thought it possible that he could be--induced +to forgive such an injury. + +"There is an amount of rascality in it--of low meanness, which I do not +understand," he would say over and over again to his nephew. And then +as he would walk alone on the terrace he would speculate within his own +mind whether Bernard would take any steps towards avenging; his +cousin's injury. "He is right," he would say to himself; "Bernard is +quite right. But when I was young I could not have stood it. In those +days a gentleman might have a fellow out who had treated him as he has +treated us. A man was satisfied in feeling that he had done something. +I suppose the world is different nowadays." The world is different; but +the squire by no means acknowledged in his heart that there had been +any improvement. + +Bernard also was greatly troubled in his mind. He would have had no +objection to fight a duel with Crosbie, had duels in these days been +possible. But he believed them to be no longer possible at any rate +without ridicule. And if he could not fight the man, in what other way +was he to punish him? Was it not the fact that for such a fault the +world afforded no punishment? Was it not in the power of a man like +Crosbie to amuse himself for a week or two at the expense of a girl's +happiness for life, and then to escape absolutely without any ill +effects to himself? + +"I shall be barred out of my club lest. I should meet him," Bernard +said to himself, "but he will not be barred out." Moreover, there was a +feeling within him that the matter would be one of triumph to Crosbie +rather than otherwise. In having secured for himself the pleasure of +his courtship with such a girl as Lily Dale, without encountering the +penalty usually consequent upon such amusement, he would be held by +many as having merited much admiration. He had sinned against all the +Dales, and yet the suffering arising from his sin was to fall upon the +Dales exclusively. Such was Bernard's reasoning, as he speculated on +the whole affair; sadly enough--wishing to be avenged, but not knowing +where to look for vengeance. For myself I believe him to have been +altogether wrong as to the light in which he supposed that Crosbie's +falsehood would be regarded by Crosbie's friends. Men will still talk +of such things lightly, professing that all is fair in love as it is in +war, and speaking almost with envy of the good fortunes of a practised +deceiver. But I have never come across the man who thought in this way +with reference to an individual case. Crosbie's own judgment as to the +consequences to himself of what he had done was more correct than that +formed by Bernard Dale. He had regarded the act as venial as long as it +was still to do while it was still within his power to leave it undone; +but from the moment of its accomplishment it had forced itself upon his +own view in its proper light. He knew that he had been a scoundrel, and +he knew that other men would so think of him. His friend Fowler Pratt, +who had the reputation of looking at women simply as toys, had so +regarded him. Instead of boasting of what he had done, he was as afraid +of alluding to any matter connected with his marriage as a man is of +talking of the articles which he has stolen. He had already felt that +men at his club looked askance at him; and, though he was no coward as +regarded his own skin and bones, he had an undefined fear lest some day +he might encounter Bernard Dale purposely armed with a stick. The +squire and his nephew were wrong in supposing that Crosbie was +unpunished. + +And as the winter came on he felt that he was closely watched by the +noble family of De Courcy. Some of that noble family he had already +learned to hate cordially. The Honourable John came up to town in +November, and persecuted him vilely: insisted on having dinners given +to him at Sebright's, of smoking throughout the whole afternoon in his +future brother-in-law's rooms, and on borrowing his future +brother-in-law's possessions; till at last Crosbie determined that it +would be wise to quarrel with the Honourable John--and he quarrelled +with him accordingly, turning him out of his rooms, and telling him in +so many words that he would have no more to do with him. + +"You'll have to do it, as I did," Mortimer Gazebee had said to him; "I +didn't like it because of the family, but Lady Amelia told me that it +must be so." Whereupon Crosbie took the advice of Mortimer Gazebee. + +But the hospitality of the Gazebees was perhaps more distressing to him +than even the importunities of the Honourable John. It seemed as though +his future sister-in-law was determined not to leave him alone. +Mortimer was sent to fetch him up for the Sunday afternoons, and he +found that he was constrained to go to the villa in St. John's Wood, +even in opposition to his own most strenuous will. He could not quite +analyse the circumstances of his own position, but he felt as though he +were a cock with his spurs cut off--as a dog with his teeth drawn. He +found himself becoming humble and meek. He had to acknowledge to +himself that he was afraid of Lady Amelia, and almost even afraid of +Mortimer Gazebee. He was aware that they watched him, and knew all his +goings out and comings in. They called him Adolphus, and made him tame. +That coming evil day in February was dinned into his ears. Lady Amelia +would go and look at furniture for him, and talked by the hour about +bedding and sheets. + +"You had better get your kitchen things at Tomkins'. They're all good, +and he'll give you ten per cent. off if you pay him ready money--which, +of course, you will, you know!" Was it for this that he had sacrificed +Lily Dale?--for this that he had allied himself with the noble house of +De Courcy? + +Mortimer had been at him about the settlements from the very first +moment of his return to London, and had already bound him up hand and +foot. His life was insured, and the policy was in Mortimer's hands. His +own little bit of money had been already handed over to be tied up with +Lady Alexandrina's little bit. It seemed to him that in all the +arrangements made the intention was that he should die off speedily, +and that Lady Alexandrina should be provided with a decent little +income, sufficient for St. John's Wood. Things were to be so settled +that he could not even spend the proceeds of his own money, or of hers. +They were to go, under the fostering hands of Mortimer Gazebee in +paying insurances. If he would only die the day after his marriage, +there would really be a very nice sum of money for Alexandrina, almost +worthy of the acceptance of an earl's daughter. Six months ago he would +have considered himself able to turn Mortimer Gazebee round his finger +on any subject that could be introduced between them. When they chanced +to meet Gazebee had been quite humble to him, treating him almost as a +superior being. He had looked down on Gazebee from a very great height. +But now it seemed as though he were powerless in this man's hands. + +But perhaps the countess had become this greatest aversion. She was +perpetually writing to him little notes in which she gave him +multitudes of commissions, sending him about as though he had been her +servant. And she pestered him with advice which was even worse than her +commissions, telling him of the style of life in which Alexandrina +would expect to live, and warning him very frequently that such an one +as he could not expect to be admitted within the bosom of so noble a +family without paying very dearly for that inestimable privilege. Her +letters had become odious to him, and he would chuck them on one side, +leaving them for the whole day unopened. He had already made up his +mind that he would quarrel with the countess also, very shortly after +his marriage; indeed, that he would separate himself from the whole +family if it were possible. And yet he had entered into this engagement +mainly with the view of reaping those advantages which would accrue to +him from being allied to the De Courcys! The squire and his nephew were +wretched in thinking that this man was escaping without punishment, but +they might have spared themselves that misery. + +It had been understood from the first that he was to spend his +Christmas at Courcy Castle. From this undertaking it was quite out of +his power to enfranchise himself: but he resolved that his visit should +be as short as possible. Christmas Day unfortunately came on a Monday, +and it was known to the De Courcy world that Saturday was almost a +dies non at the General Committee Office. As to those three days there +was no escape for him; but he made Alexandrina understand that the +three Commissioners were men of iron as to any extension of those three +days. + +"I must be absent again in February, of course," he said, almost making +his wail audible in the words he used, "and therefore it is quite +impossible that I should stay now beyond the Monday." Had there been +attractions for him at Courcy Castle I think he might have arranged +with Mr Optimist for a week or ten days. + +"We shall be all alone," the countess wrote to him, "and I hope you +will have an opportunity of learning more of our ways than you have +ever really been able to do as yet." This was bitter as gall to him. +But in this world all valuable commodities have their price; and when +men such as Crosbie aspire to obtain for themselves an alliance with +noble families, they must pay the market price for the article which +they purchase. + +"You'll all come up and dine with us on Monday," the squire said to Mrs +Dale, about the middle of the previous week. + +"Well, I think not," said Mrs Dale, "we are better, perhaps, as we are." + +At this moment the squire and his sister-in-law were on much more +friendly terms than had been usual with them, and he took her reply in +good part, understanding her feeling. Therefore, he pressed his +request, and succeeded. + +"I think you're wrong," he said, "I don't suppose that we shall have a +very merry Christmas. You and the girls will hardly have that whether +you eat your pudding here or at the Great House. But it will be better +for us all to make the attempt. It's the right thing to do. That's the +way I look at it." + +"I'll ask Lily," said Mrs Dale. + +"Do, do. Give her my love, and tell her from me that, in spite of all +that has come and gone, Christmas Day should still be to her a day of +rejoicing. We'll dine about three, so that the servants can have the +afternoon." + +"Of course we'll go," said Lily; "why not? We always do. And we'll have +blind-man's-buff with all the Boyces, as we had last year, if uncle +will ask them up." But the Boyces were not asked up for that occasion. + +But Lily, though she put on it all so brave a face, had much to suffer, +and did in truth suffer greatly. If you, my reader, ever chanced to +slip into the gutter on a wet day, did you not find that the sympathy +of the bystanders was by far the severest part of your misfortune? Did +you not declare to yourself that all might yet be well, if the people +would only walk on and not look at you? And yet you cannot blame those +who stood and pitied you; or, perhaps, essayed to rub you down, and +assist you in the recovery of your bedaubed hat. You, yourself, if you +see a man fall, cannot walk by as though nothing uncommon had happened +to him. It was so with Lily. The people of Allington could not regard +her with their ordinary eyes. They would look at her tenderly, knowing +that she was a wounded fawn, and thus they aggravated the soreness of +her wound. Old Mrs Hearn condoled with her, telling her that very +likely she would be better off as she was. Lily would not lie about it +in any way. + +"Mrs Hearn," she said, "the subject is painful to me." Mrs Hearn said +no more about it, but on every meeting between them she looked the +things she did not say. + +"Miss Lily!" said Hopkins, one day, "Miss Lily!"--and as he looked up +into her face a tear had almost formed itself in his old eye "I knew +what he was from the first. Oh, dear! oh, dear! if I could have had him +killed!" + +"Hopkins, how dare you?" said Lily. "If you speak to me again in such a +way, I will tell my uncle." She turned away from him but immediately +turned back again, and put out her little hand to him. + +"I beg your pardon," she said. "I know how kind you are, and I love you +for it." And then she went away. + +"I'll go after him yet, and break the dirty neck of him," said Hopkins +to himself, as he walked down the path. + +Shortly before Christmas Day she called with her sister at the +vicarage. Bell, in the course of the visit, left the room with one of +the Boyce girls, to look at the last chrysanthemums of the year. Then +Mrs Boyce took advantage of the occasion to make her little speech. + +"My dear Lily," she said, "you will think me cold if I do not say one +word to you." + +"No, I shall not," said Lily, almost sharply, shrinking from the finger +that threatened to touch her sore. "There are things which should never +be talked about." + +"Well, well; perhaps so," said Mrs Boyce. But for a minute or two she +was unable to fall back upon any other topic, and sat looking at Lily +with, painful tenderness. I need hardly say what were Lily's sufferings +under such a gaze; but she bore it, acknowledging to herself in her +misery that the fault did not lie with Mrs Boyce. How could Mrs Boyce +have looked at her otherwise than tenderly? + +It was settled, then, that Lily was to dine up at the Great House on +Christmas Day, and thus show to the Allington world that she was not to +be regarded as a person shut out from the world by the depth of her +misfortune. That she was right there can, I think, be no doubt; but as +she walked across the little bridge, with her mother and sister, after +returning from church she would have given much to be able to have +turned round, and have gone to bed instead of to her uncle's dinner. + + + +CHAPTER XXXII + +PAWKINS'S IN JERMYN STREET + +The show of fat beasts in London took place this year on the twentieth +day of December, and I have always understood that a certain bullock +exhibited by Lord de Guest was declared by the metropolitan butchers to +have realised all the possible excellences of breeding, feeding, and +condition. No doubt the butchers of the next half-century will have +learned much better, and the Guestwick beast, could it be embalmed and +then produced, would excite only ridicule at the agricultural ignorance +of the present age; but Lord de Guest took the praise that was offered +to him, and found himself in a seventh heaven of delight. + +He was never so happy as when surrounded by butchers; graziers, and +salesmen who were able to appreciate the work of his life, and who +regarded him as a model nobleman. + +"Look at that fellow," he said to Eames, pointing to the prize bullock, +Eames had joined his patron at the show after his office hours, looking +on upon the living beef by gaslight. "Isn't he like his sire? He was +got by Lambkin, you know." + +"Lambkin," said Johnny, who had not as yet been able to learn much +about the Guestwick stock. + +"Yes, Lambkin. The bull that we had the trouble with. He has just got +his sire's back and fore-quarters. Don't you see?" + +"I dare say," said Johnny, who looked very hard, but could not see. + +"It's very odd," exclaimed the earl, "but do you know, that bull has +been as quiet since that day--as quiet as--as anything. I think it must +have been my pocket-handkerchief." + +"I dare say it was," said Johnny "or perhaps the flies." + +"Flies!" said the earl, angrily. "Do you suppose he isn't used to +flies? Come away. I ordered dinner at seven, and it's past six now. My +brother-in-law, Colonel Dale, is up in town, and he dines with us." So +he took Johnny's arm, and led him off through the show, calling his +attention as he went to several beasts which were inferior to his own. + +And then they walked down through Portman Square and Grosvenor Square, +and across Piccadilly to Jermyn Street. John Eames acknowledged to +himself that it was odd that he should have an earl leaning on his arm +as he passed along through the streets. At home, in his own life, his +daily companions were Cradell and Amelia Roper, Mrs Lupex and Mrs +Roper. The difference was very great, and yet he found it quite as easy +to talk to the earl as to Mrs Lupex. "You know the Dales down at +Allington, of course," said the earl. + +"Oh, yes, I know them." + +"But, perhaps, you never met the colonel." + +"I don't think I ever did." + +"He's a queer sort of fellow--very well in his way, but he never does +anything. He and my sister live at Torquay, and as far as I can find +out, they neither of them have any occupation of any sort. He's come up +to town now because we both had to meet our family lawyers and sign +some papers, but he looks on the journey as a great hardship. As for +me, I'm a year older than he is, but I wouldn't mind going up and down +from Guestwick every day." + +"It's looking after the bull that does it," said Eames. + +"By George! you're right, Master Johnny. My sister and Crofts may tell +me what they like, but when a man's out in the open air for eight or +nine hours every day, it doesn't much matter where he goes to sleep +after that. This is Pawkins's--capital good house, but not so good as it +used to be while old Pawkins was alive. Show Mr Eames up into a bedroom +to wash his hands." + +Colonel Dale was much like his brother in face, but was taller, even +thinner, and apparently older. When Eames went into the sitting-room, +the colonel was there alone, and had to take upon himself the trouble +of introducing himself. He did not get up from his arm-chair, but +nodded gently at the young man. + +"Mr Eames, I believe? I knew your father at Guestwick, a great many +years ago;" then he turned his face back towards the fire and sighed. + +"It's got very cold this afternoon," said Johnny, trying to make +conversation. + +"It's always cold in London," said the colonel. + +"If you had to be here in August you wouldn't say so." + +"God forbid," said the colonel, and he sighed again, with his eyes +fixed upon the fire. Eames had heard of the very gallant way in which +Orlando Dale had persisted in running away with Lord de Guest's sister, +in opposition to very terrible obstacles, and as he now looked at the +intrepid lover, he thought that there must have been a great change +since those days. After that nothing more was said till the earl came +down. + +Pawkins's house was thoroughly old-fashioned in all things, and the +Pawkins of that day himself stood behind the earl's elbow when the +dinner began, and himself removed the cover from the soup tureen. Lord +de Guest did not require much personal attention, but he would have +felt annoyed if this hadn't been done. As it was he had a civil word to +say to Pawkins about the fat cattle, thereby showing that he did not +mistake Pawkins for one of the waiters. Pawkins then took his +lordship's orders about the wine and retired. + +"He keeps up the old house pretty well," said the earl to his +brother-in-law. "It isn't like what it was thirty years ago, but then +everything of that sort has got worse and worse." + +"I suppose it has," said the colonel. "I remember when old Pawkins had +as good a glass of port as I've got at home--or nearly. They can't get +it now, you know." + +"I never drink port," said the colonel. "I seldom take anything after +dinner, except a little negus." + +His brother-in-law said nothing, but made a most eloquent grimace as he +turned his face towards his soup-plate. Eames saw it, and could hardly +refrain from laughing. When, at half-past nine o'clock, the colonel +retired from the room, the earl, as the door was closed, threw up his +hands, and uttered the one word "negus!" Then Eames took heart of grace +and had his laughter out. + +The dinner was very dull, and before the colonel went to bed Johnny +regretted that he had been induced to dine at Pawkins's. It might be a +very fine thing to be asked to dinner with an earl; and John Eames had +perhaps received at his office some little accession of dignity from +the circumstance, of which he had been not unpleasantly aware; but, as +he sat at the table, on which there were four or five apples and a +plate of dried nuts, looking at the earl, as he endeavoured to keep his +eyes open, and at the colonel, to whom it seemed absolutely a matter of +indifference whether his companions were asleep or awake, he confessed +to himself that the price he was paying was almost too dear. Mrs +Roper's tea-table was not pleasant to him, but even that would have +been preferable to the black dinginess of Pawkins's mahogany, with the +company of two tired old men, with whom he seemed to have no mutual +subject of conversation. Once or twice he tried a word with the +colonel, for the colonel sat with his eyes open looking at the fire. +But he was answered with monosyllables, and it was evident to him that +the colonel did not wish to talk. To sit still, with his hands closed +over each other on his lap, was work enough for Colonel Dale during his +after-dinner hours. + +But the earl knew what was going on. During that terrible conflict +between him and his slumber, in which the drowsy god fairly vanquished +him for some twenty minutes, his conscience was always accusing him of +treating his guests badly. He was very angry with himself, and tried to +arouse himself and talk. But his brother-in-law would not help him' in +his efforts; and even Eames was not bright in rendering him assistance. +Then for twenty minutes he slept soundly, and at the end of that he +woke himself with one of his own snorts. + +"By George!" he said, jumping up and standing on the rug, "we'll have +some coffee"; and after that he did not sleep any more. + +"Dale," said he, "won't you take some more wine? + +"Nothing more," said the colonel, still looking at the fire, and +shaking his head very slowly. + +"Come, Johnny, fill your glass." He had already got into the way of +calling his young friend Johnny, having found that Mrs Eames generally +spoke of her son by that name. + +"I have been filling my glass all the time," said Eames, taking the +decanter again in his hand as he spoke. + +"I'm glad you've found something to amuse you, for it has seemed to me +that you and Dale haven't had much to say to each other. I've been +listening all the time." + +"You've been asleep," said the colonel. + +"Then there's been some excuse for my holding my tongue," said the earl. + +"By-the-by, Dale, what do you think of that fellow Crosbie?" + +Eames's ears were instantly on the alert, and the spirit of dullness +vanished from him. + +"Think of him?" said the colonel. "He ought to have every bone in his +skin broken," said the earl. + +"So he ought," said Eames, getting up from his chair in his eagerness, +and speaking in a tone somewhat louder than was perhaps becoming in the +presence of his seniors. "So he ought, my lord. He is the most +abominable rascal that ever I met in my life. I wish I was Lily Dale's +brother." Then he sat down again, remembering that he was speaking in +the presence of Lily's uncle, and of the father of Bernard Dale, who +might be, supposed to occupy the place of Lily's brother. + +The colonel turned his head round, and looked at the young man with +surprise. + +"I beg your pardon, sir," said Eames, "but I have known Mrs Dale and +your nieces all my life." + +"Oh, have you?" said the colonel. + +"Nevertheless it is, perhaps, as well not to make too free with a young +lady's name. Not that I blame you in the least, Mr Eames." + +"I should think not," said the earl. + +"I honour him for his feeling. Johnny, my boy, if ever I am unfortunate +enough to meet that man, I shall tell him my mind, and I believe you +will do the same." On hearing this John Eames winked at the earl, and +made a motion with his head towards the colonel, whose back was turned +to him. And then the earl winked back at Eames. + +"De Guest," said the colonel, "I think I'll go upstairs; I always have +a little arrowroot in my own room." + +"I'll ring the bell for a candle," said the host. Then the colonel +went, and as the door was closed behind him, the earl raised his two +hands and uttered that single word, "negus!" Whereupon Johnny burst out +laughing, and coming round to the fire, sat himself down in the +arm-chair which the colonel had left. + +"I've no doubt it's all right," said the earl; "but I shouldn't like to +drink negus myself, nor yet to have arrowroot up in my bedroom." + +"I don't suppose there's any harm in it." + +"Oh dear, no; I wonder what Pawkins says about him. But I suppose they +have them of all sorts in an hotel." + +"The waiter didn't seem to think much of it when he brought it." + +"No, no. If he'd asked for senna and salts, the waiter wouldn't have +showed any surprise. By-the-by, you touched him up about that poor +girl." + +"Did I, my lord? I didn't mean it." + +"You see he's Bernard Dale's father, and the question is, whether +Bernard shouldn't punish the fellow for what he has done. Somebody +ought to do it. It isn't right that he should escape. Somebody ought to +let Mr Crosbie know what a scoundrel he has made himself." + +"I'd do it tomorrow, only I'm afraid--" + +"No, no, no," said the earl; "you are not the right person at all. What +have you got to do with it? You've merely known them as family friends, +but that's not enough." + +"No, I suppose not," said Eames, sadly. + +"Perhaps it's best as it is," said the earl. "I don't know that any +good would be got by knocking him over the head. And if we are to be +Christians, I suppose we ought to be Christians." + +"What sort of a Christian has he been?" + +"That's true enough; and if I was Bernard, I should be very apt to +forget my Bible lessons about meekness." + +"Do you know, my lord, I should think it the most Christian thing in +the world to pitch into him; I should, indeed. There are some things +for which a man ought to be beaten black and blue." + +"So that he shouldn't do them again?" + +"Exactly. You might say it isn't Christian to hang a man." + +"I'd always hang a murderer. It wasn't right to hang men for stealing +sheep." + +"Much better hang such a fellow as Crosbie," said Eames. + +"Well, I believe so. If any fellow wanted now to curry favour with the +young lady, what an opportunity he'd have." + +Johnny remained silent for a moment or two before he answered. + +"I'm not so sure of that," he said; mournfully, as though grieving at +the thought that there was no chance of currying favour with Lily by +thrashing her late lover. + +"I don't pretend to know much about girls," said Lord de Guest; "but I +should think it would be so. I should fancy that nothing would please +her so much as hearing that he had caught it, and that all the world +knew that he'd caught it." The earl had declared that he didn't know +much about, girls, and in so saving, he was no doubt right. + +"If I thought so," said Eames," I'd find him out tomorrow." + +"Why so? what difference does it make to you?" Then there was another +pause, during which Johnny looked very sheepish. + +"You don't mean to say that you're in love with Miss Lily Dale?" + +"I don't know much about being in love with her," said Johnny, turning +very red as he spoke. And then he made up his mind, in a wild sort of +way, to tell all the truth to his friend. Pawkins's port wine may, +perhaps, have something to do with the resolution. "But I'd go through +fire and water for her, my lord. I knew her years before he had ever +seen her, and have loved her a great deal better than he will ever love +any one. When I heard that she had accepted him, I had half a mind to +cut my own throat--or else his." + +"Highty tighty," said the earl. + +"It's very ridiculous, I know," said Johnny, "and, of course, she would +never have accepted me." + +"I don't see that at all." + +"I haven't a shilling in the world." + +"Girls don't care much for that." + +"And then a clerk in the Income-tax Office! It's such a poor thing." + +"The other fellow was only a clerk in another office." + +The earl living down at Guestwick did not understand, that the +Income-tax Office in the city, and the General Committee Office at +Whitehall, were as far apart as Dives and Lazarus and separated by as +impassable a gulf. + +"Oh, yes," said Johnny; "but his office is another kind of thing, and +then he was a swell himself." + +"By George, I don't see it," said the earl. + +"I don't wonder a bit at her accepting a fellow like that. I hated him +the first moment I saw him; but that's no reason she should hate him. +He had that sort of manner, you know. He was a swell, and girls like +that kind of thing. I never felt angry with her, but I could have eaten +him." As he spoke he looked as though he would have made some such +attempt had Crosbie been present. + +"Did you ever ask her to have you?" said the earl. + +"No; how could I ask her, when I hadn't bread to give her?" + +"And you never told her that you were in love with her, I mean, and all +that kind of thing." + +"She knows it now," said Johnny; + +"I went to say good-bye to her the other day when I thought she was +going to be married. I could not help telling her then." + +"But it seems to me, my dear fellow, that you ought to be very much +obliged to Crosbie--that is to say, if you've a mind to--" + +"I know what you mean, my lord. I am not a bit obliged to him. It's my +belief that all this will about kill her. As to myself, if I thought +she'd ever have me--" + +Then he was again silent, and the earl could see that the tears were in +his eyes. + +"I think I begin to understand it," said the earl, "and I'll give you a +bit of advice. You come down and spend your Christmas with me at +Guestwick." + +"Oh, my lord!" + +"Never mind my-lording me, but do as I tell you. Lady Julia sent you a +message, though I forgot all about it till now. She wants to thank you +herself for what you did in the field." + +"That's all nonsense, my lord." + +"Very well; you can tell her so. You may take my word for this, too--my +sister hates Crosbie quite as much as you do. I think she'd pitch into +him, as you call it, herself, if she knew how. You come down to +Guestwick for the Christmas, and then go over to Allington and tell +them all plainly what you mean." + +"I couldn't say a word to her now." + +"Say it to the squire, then. Go to him, and tell him what you +mean--holding your head up like a man. Don't talk to me about swells. +The man who means honestly is the best swell I know. He's the only +swell I recognise. Go to old Dale, and say you come from me--from +Guestwick Manor. Tell him that if he'll put a little stick under the +pot to make it boil, I'll put a bigger one. He'll understand what that +means." + +"Oh, no, my lord." + +"But I say, oh, yes;" and the earl, who was now standing on the rug +before the fire, dug his hands deep down into his trousers' pockets. +"I'm very fond of that girl, and would do much for her. You ask Lady +Julia if I didn't say so to her before I ever knew of your casting a +sheep's-eye that way. And I've a sneaking kindness for you too, Master +Johnny. Lord bless you, I knew your father as well as I ever knew any +man; and to tell the truth, I believe I helped to ruin him. He held +land of me, you know, and there can't be any doubt that he did ruin +himself. He knew no more about a beast when he'd done, than--than--than +that waiter. If he'd gone on to this day he wouldn't have been any +wiser." Johnny sat silent, with his eyes full of tears. What was he to +say to his friend? + +"You come down with me," continued the earl, "and you'll find we'll +make it all straight. I dare say you're right about not speaking to the +girl just at present. But tell everything to the uncle, and then to the +mother. And, above all things, never think that you're not good enough +yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life +people will take you very much at your own reckoning. If you are made +of dirt, like that fellow Crosbie, you'll be found out at last, no +doubt. But then I don't think you are made of dirt." + +"I hope not." + +"And so do I. You can come down, I suppose, with me the day after +tomorrow?" + +"I'm afraid not. I have had all my leave." + +"Shall I write to old Buffle, and ask it as a favour?" +"No," said Johnny; "I shouldn't like that. But I'll see tomorrow, and +then I'll let you know. I can go down by the mail train on Saturday, at +any rate." + +"That won't be comfortable. See and come with me if you can. Now, +good-night, my dear fellow, and remember this--when I say a thing I mean +it. I think I may boast that I never yet went back from my word." + +The earl as he spoke gave his left hand to his guest, and looking +somewhat grandly up over the young man's head, he tapped his own breast +thrice with his right hand. As he went through the little scene, John +Eames felt that he was every inch an earl. + +"I don't know what to say to you, my lord." + +"Say nothing--not a word more to me. But say to yourself that faint +heart never won fair lady. Good-night, my dear boy, good-night. I dine +out tomorrow, but you can call and let me know at about six." + +Eames then left the room without another word, and walked out into the +cold air of Jermyn Street. The moon was clear and bright, and the +pavement in the shining light seemed to be as clean as a lady's hand. +All the world was altered to him since he had entered Pawkins's Hotel. +Was it then possible that Lily Dale might even yet become his wife? +Could it be true that he, even now, was in a position to go boldly to +the Squire of Allington, and tell him what were his views with +reference to Lily? And how far would he be justified in taking the earl +at his word? Some incredible amount of wealth would be required before +he could marry Lily Dale. Two or three hundred pounds a year at the +very least! The earl could not mean him to understand that any such sum +as that would be made up with such an object! Nevertheless he resolved +as he walked home to Burton Crescent that he would go down to +Guestwick, and that he would obey the earl's behest. As regarded Lily +herself he felt that nothing could be said to her for many a long day +as yet. + +"Oh, John, how late you are!" said Amelia, slipping out from the back +parlour as he let himself in with his latch key. + +"Yes, I am very late," said John, taking his candle, and passing her by +on the stairs without another word. + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII + +"THE TIME WILL COME" + +"Did you hear that young Eames is staying at Guestwick Manor?" + +As these were the first words which the squire spoke to Mrs Dale as +they walked together up to the Great House, after church, on Christmas +Day, it was clear enough that the tidings of Johnny's visit, when told +to him, had made some impression. + +"At Guestwick Manor!" said Mrs Dale. + +"Dear me! Do you hear that, Bell? There's promotion for Master Johnny!" + +"Don't you remember, mamma," said Bell, "that he helped his lordship in +his trouble with the bull?" + +Lily, who remembered accurately all the passages of her last interview +with John Eames, said nothing, but felt, in some sort, sore at the idea +that he should be so near her at such a time. + +In some unconscious way she had liked him for coming to her and saying +all that he did say. She, valued him more highly after that scene than +she did before. But now, she would feel herself injured and hurt if he +ever made his way into her presence under circumstances as they existed. + +"I should not have thought that Lord de Guest was the man to show so +much gratitude for so slight a favour," said the squire. + +"However, I'm going to dine there tomorrow." + +"To meet young Eames?" said Mrs Dale. + +"Yes--especially to meet young Eames. At least, I've been very specially +asked to come, and I've been told that he is to be there." + +"And is Bernard going?" + +"Indeed I'm not," said Bernard, "I shall come over and dine with you." + +A half-formed idea flitted across Lily's mind, teaching her to imagine +for a moment that she might possibly be concerned in this arrangement. +But the thought vanished as quickly as it came, merely leaving some +soreness behind it. There are certain maladies which make the whole +body sore. The patient, let him be touched on any point--let him even be +nearly touched--will roar with agony as though his whole body had been +bruised. So it is also with maladies of he mind. Sorrows such as that +of poor Lily leave the heart sore at every point, and compel the +sufferer to be ever in fear of new wounds. Lily bore her cross bravely +and well; but not the less did it weigh heavily upon her at every turn +because she had the strength to walk as though she did not bear it. +Nothing happened to her, or in her presence, that did not in some way +connect itself with her misery. Her uncle was going over to meet John +Eames at Lord de Guest's. Of course the men there would talk about her, +and all such talking was an injury to her. + +The afternoon of that day did not pass away brightly. As long as the +servants were in the room the dinner went on much as other dinners. At +such times a certain amount of hypocrisy must always be practised in +closely domestic circles. At mixed dinner-parties people can talk +before Richard and William the same words that they would use if +Richard and William were not there. People so mixed do not talk +together their inward home thoughts. But when close friends are +together, a little conscious reticence is practised till the door is +tiled. At such a meeting as this that conscious reticence was of +service, and created an effect which was salutary. When the door was +tiled, and when the servants were gone, how could they be merry +together? By what mirth should the beards be made to wag on that +Christmas Day? + +"My father has been up in town," said Bernard. + +"He was with Lord de Guest at Pawkins's." + +"Why didn't you go and see him?" asked Mrs Dale. + +"Well, I don't know. He did not seem to wish it. I shall go down to +Torquay in February. I must be up in London you know, in a fortnight, +for good." Then they were all silent again for a few minutes. If +Bernard could have owned the truth, he would have acknowledged that he +had not gone up to London, because he did not yet know how to treat +Crosbie when he should meet him. His thoughts on this matter threw some +sort of shadow across poor Lily's mind, making her feel that her wound +was again opened. + +"I want him to give up his profession altogether," said the squire, +speaking firmly and slowly. "It would be better, I think, for both of +us that he should do so." + +"Would it be wise at his time of life," said Mrs Dale, "and when he has +been doing so well?" + +"I think it would be wise. If he were my son it would be thought better +that he should live here upon the property, among the people who are to +become his tenants, than remain up in London, or perhaps be sent to +India. He has one profession as the heir of this place, and that, I +think, should he enough." + +"I should have but an idle life of it down here," said Bernard. + +"That would be your own fault. But if you did as I would have you, your +life would not be idle." In this he was alluding to Bernard's proposed +marriage, but as to that nothing further could be said in Bell's +presence. Bell understood it all, and sat quite silent, with demure +countenance--perhaps even with something of sternness in her face. + +"But the fact is," said Mrs Dale, speaking in a low tone, and having +well considered what she was about to say, "that Bernard is not exactly +the same as your son." + +"Why not?" said the squire. "I have even offered to settle the property +on him if he will leave the service." + +"You do not owe him so much as you would owe your son--and, therefore, +he does not owe you as much as he would owe his father." + +"If you mean that I cannot constrain him, I know that well enough. As +regards money, I have offered to do for him quite as much as any father +would feel called upon to do for an only son." + +"I hope you don't think me ungrateful," said Bernard. + +"No, I do not; but I think you unmindful. I have nothing more to say +about it, however--not about that. If you should marry--"And then he +stopped himself, feeling that he could not go on in Bell's presence. + +"If he should marry," said Mrs Dale, "it may well be that his wife +would like a house of her own." + +"Wouldn't she have this house?" said the squire, angrily. "Isn't it +big enough? I only want one room for myself, and I'd give up that if it +were necessary." + +"That's nonsense," said Mrs Dale. + +"It isn't nonsense," said the squire. + +"You'll be squire of Allington for the next twenty years," said Mrs +Dale. "And as long as you are the squire, you'll be master of this +house; at least, I hope so. I don't approve of monarchs abdicating in +favour of young people." + +"I don't think Uncle Christopher would look at all well like Charles +the Fifth," said Lily. + +"I would always keep a cell for you, my darling, if I did," said the +squire, regarding her with that painful, special tenderness. Lily, who +was sitting next to Mrs Dale, put her hand out secretly and got hold of +her mother's, thereby indicating that she did not intend to occupy the +cell offered to her by her uncle; or to look to him as the companion of +her monastic seclusion. After that there was nothing more then said as +to Bernard's prospects. + +"Mrs Hearn is dining at the vicarage, I suppose?" asked the squire. + +"Yes; she went in after church," said Bell. + +"I saw her go with Mrs Boyce." + +"She told me she never would dine with them again after dark in +winter," said Mrs Dale. + +"The last time she was there, the boy let the lamp blow out as she was +going home, and she lost her way. The truth was, she was angry because +Mr Boyce didn't go with her." + +"She's always angry," said the squire. + +"She hardly speaks to me now. When she paid her rent the other day to +Jolliffe, she said she hoped it would do me much good; as though she +thought me a brute for taking it." + +"So she does," said Bernard. + +"She's very old, you know," said Bell. + +"I'd give her the house for nothing, if I were you, uncle," said Lily. + +"No, my dear; if you were me you would not. I should be very wrong to +do so. Why should Mrs Hearn have her house for nothing, any more than +her meat or her clothes? It would be much more reasonable were I to +give her so much money into her hand yearly; but it would be wrong in +me to do so, seeing that she is not an object of charity--and it would +be wrong in her to take it." + +"And she wouldn't take it," said Mrs Dale. + +"I don't think she would. But if she did, I'm sure she would grumble +because it wasn't double the amount. And if Mr Boyce had gone home with +her, she would have grumbled because he walked too fast." + +"She is very old," said Bell, again. + +"But, nevertheless, she ought to know better than to speak +disparagingly of me to my servants. She should have more respect for +herself." And the squire showed by the tone of his voice that he +thought very much about it. + +It was very long and very dull that Christmas evening, making Bernard +feel strongly that he would be very foolish to give up his profession, +and tie himself down to a life at Allington. Women are more accustomed +than men to long, dull, unemployed hours; and, therefore, Mrs Dale and +her daughters bore the tedium courageously. While he yawned, stretched +himself, and went in and out of the room, they sat demurely, listening +as the squire laid down the law on small matters, and contradicting him +occasionally when the spirit of either of them prompted her specially +to do so. + +"Of course you know much better than I do," he would say. + +"Not at all," Mrs Dale would answer. + +"I don't pretend to know anything about it. But--"So the evening wore +itself away; and when the squire was left alone at half-past nine, he +did not feel that the day had passed badly with him. That was his style +of life, and he expected no more from it than he got. He did not look +to find things very pleasant, and, if not happy, he was, at any rate, +contented. + +"Only think of Johnny Eames being at Guestwick Manor!" said Bell, as +they were going home. + +"I don't see why he shouldn't be there," said Lily. + +"I would rather it should be he than I, because Lady Julia is so +grumpy." + +"But asking your Uncle Christopher especially to meet him!" said Mrs +Dale. + +"There must be some reason for it." Then Lily felt the soreness come +upon her again, and spoke no further upon the subject. + +We all know that there was a special reason, and that Lily's soreness +was not false in its mysterious forebodings. Eames, on the evening +after his dinner at Pawkins's, had seen the earl, and explained to him +that he could not leave town till the Saturday evening; but that he +could remain over the Tuesday. He must be at his office by twelve on +Wednesday, and could manage to do that by an early train, from +Guestwick. + +"Very well, Johnny," said the earl, talking to his young friend with +the bedroom candle in his hand, as he was going up to dress. + +"Then I'll tell you what; I've been thinking of it. I'll ask Dale to +come over to dinner on Tuesday; and if he'll come, I'll explain the +whole matter to him myself. He's a man of business, and he'll +understand. If he won't come, why then you must go over to Allington, +and find him, if you can, on the Tuesday morning; or I'll go to him +myself, which will be better. You mustn't keep me now, as I am ever so +much too late." + +Eames did not attempt to keep him, but went away feeling that the whole +matter was being arranged for him in a very wonderful way. And when he +got to Allington he found that the squire had accepted the earl's +invitation. Then he declared to himself that there was no longer any +possibility of retractation for him. Of course he did not wish to +retract. The one great longing of his life was to call Lily Dale his +own. But he felt afraid of the squire--that the squire would despise him +and snub him, and that the earl would perceive that he had made a +mistake when he saw how his client was scorned and snubbed. It was +arranged that the earl was to take the squire into his own room for a +few minutes before dinner, and Johnny felt that he would be hardly able +to stand his ground in the drawing-room when the two old men should +make their appearance together. + +He got on very well with Lady Julia, who gave herself no airs, and made +herself very civil. Her brother had told her the whole story, and she +felt as anxious as he did to provide Lily with another husband in place +of that horrible man Crosbie. + +"She has been very fortunate in her escape," she said to her brother; +"very fortunate." The earl agreed with this, saying that in his opinion +his own favourite Johnny would make much the nicer lover of the two. +But Lady Julia had her doubts as to Lily's acquiescence. + +"But, Theodore, he must not speak to Miss Lilian Dale herself about it +yet a while." + +"No," said the earl, "not for a month or so." + +"He will have a better chance if he can remain silent for six months," +said Lady Julia. + +"Bless my soul! somebody else will have picked her up before that," +said the earl. + +In answer to this Lady Julia merely shook her head. + +Johnny went over to his mother on Christmas Day after church, and was +received by her and by his sister with great honour. And she gave him +many injunctions as to his behaviour at the earl's table, even +descending to small details about his boots and linen. But Johnny had +already begun to feel at the Manor that, after all, people are not so +very different in their ways of life as they are supposed to be. Lady +Julia's manners were certainly not quite those of Mrs Roper; but she +made the tea very much in the way in which it was made at Burton +Crescent, and Eames found that he could eat his egg, at any rate on the +second morning, without any tremor in his hand, in spite of the coronet +on the silver egg-cup. He did feel himself to be rather out of his +place in the Manor pew on the Sunday, conceiving that all the +congregation was looking at him; but he got over this on Christmas Day, +and sat quite comfortably in his soft corner during the sermon, almost +going to sleep. And when he walked with the earl after church to the +gate over which the noble peer had climbed in his agony, and inspected +the hedge through which he had thrown himself, he was quite at home +with his little jokes, bantering his august companion as to the mode of +his somersault. But be it always remembered that there are two modes in +which a young man may he free and easy with his elder and superior--the +mode pleasant and the mode offensive. Had it been in Johnny's nature to +try the latter, the earl's back would soon have been up, and the play +would have been over. But it was not in Johnny's nature to do so, and +therefore it was that the earl liked him. + +At last came the hour of dinner on Tuesday, or at least the hour at +which the squire had been asked to show himself at the Manor House. +Eames, as by agreement with his patron, did not come down so as to show +himself till after the interview. Lady Julia, who had been present at +their discussions, had agreed to receive the squire; and then a servant +was to ask him to step into the earl's own room. It was pretty to see +the way in which the three conspired together, planning and plotting +with an eagerness that was beautifully green and fresh. + +"He can be as cross as an old stick when he likes it," said the earl, +speaking of the squire, "and we must take care not to rub him the wrong +way." + +"I shan't know what to say to him when I come down," said Johnny. + +"Just shake hands with him and don't say anything," said Lady Julia. + +"I'll give him some port wine that ought to soften his heart," said the +earl, "and then we'll see how he is in the evening." + +Eames heard the wheels of the squire's little open carriage and +trembled. The squire, unconscious of all schemes, soon found himself +with Lady Julia, and within two minutes of his entrance was walked off +to the earl's private room. + +"Certainly," he said, "certainly"; and followed the man-servant. The +earl, as he entered, was standing in the middle of the room, and his +round rosy face was a picture of good humour. + +"I'm very glad you've come, Dale," said he. + +"I've something I want to say to you." + +Mr Dale, who neither in heart nor in manner was so light a man as the +earl, took the proffered hand of his host, and bowed his head slightly, +signifying that he was willing to listen to anything. + +"I think I told you," continued the earl, "that young John Eames is +down here; but he goes back tomorrow, as they can't spare him at his +office. He's a very good fellow--as far as I am able to judge, an +uncommonly good young man. I've taken a great fancy to him myself." +In answer to this Mr Dale did not say much. He sat down, and in some +general terms expressed his good-will towards all the Eames family. + +"As you know, Dale, I'm a very bad hand at talking, and therefore I +won't beat about the bush in what I've got to say at present. Of course +we've all heard of that scoundrel Crosbie, and the way he has treated +your niece Lilian." + +"He is a scoundrel--an unmixed scoundrel. But the less we say about that +the better. It is ill mentioning a girl's name in such a matter as +that." + +"But, my dear Dale, I must mention it at the present moment. Dear young +child, I would do anything to comfort her! And I hope that something +may be done to comfort her. 'Do you know that that young man was in +love with her long before Crosbie ever saw her?" + +"What--John Eames!" + +"Yes, John Eames. And I wish heartily for his sake that he had won her +regard before she had met that rascal whom you had to stay down at your +house." + +"A man cannot help these things, De Guest," said the squire. + +"No, no, no! There are such men about the world, and it is impossible +to know them at a glance. He was my nephew's friend, and I am not going +to say that my nephew was in fault. But I wish--I only say that I +wish--she had first known what are this young man's feelings towards +her." + +"But she might not have thought of him as you do." + +"He is an uncommonly good-looking young fellow; straight made, broad in +the chest, with a good, honest eye, and a young man's proper courage. +He has never been taught to give himself airs like a dancing monkey; +but I think he's all the better for that." + +"But it's too late now, De Guest." + +"No, no; that's just where it is. It mustn't be too late! That child is +not to lose her whole life because a villain has played her false. Of +course she'll suffer. Just at present it wouldn't do, I suppose, to +talk to her about a new sweetheart. But, Dale, the time will come; the +time will come--the time always does come." + +"It has never come to you and me," said the squire, with the slightest +possible smile on his dry cheeks. The story of their lives had been so +far the same; each had loved, and each had been disappointed, and then +each had remained single through life. + +"Yes, it has," said the earl, with no slight touch of feeling and even +of romance in what he said. + +"We have retricked our beams in our own ways, and our lives have not +been desolate. But for her--you and her mother will look forward to see +her married some day." + +"I have not thought about it." + +"But I want you to think about it. I want to interest you in this +fellow's favour; and in doing so, I mean to be very open with you. I +suppose you'll give her something?" + +"I don't know, I'm sure," said the squire almost offended at an inquiry +of such a nature. + +"Well, then, whether you do or not, I'll give him something," said the +earl. + +"I shouldn't have ventured to meddle in the matter had I not intended +to put myself in such a position with reference to him as would justify +me in asking the question." And the peer as he spoke drew himself up to +his full height. + +"If such a match can be made, it shall not be a bad marriage for your +niece in a pecuniary point of view. I shall have pleasure in giving to +him; but I shall have more pleasure if she can share what I give." + +"She ought to be very much obliged to you," said the squire. + +"I think she would be if she knew young Eames. I hope the day may come +when she will be so. I hope that you and I may see them happy together, +and that you too may thank me for having assisted in making them so. +Shall we go in to Lady Julia now?" The earl had felt that he had not +quite succeeded; that his offer had been accepted somewhat coldly, and +had not much hope that further good could be done on that day, even +with the help of his best port wine. + +"Half a moment," said the squire. + +"There are matters as to which I never find myself able to speak +quickly, and this certainly seems to be one of them. If you will allow +me I will think over what you have said, and then see you again." + +"Certainly, certainly." + +"But for your own part in the matter, for your great generosity and +kind heart, I beg to offer you my warmest thanks." Then the squire +bowed low, and preceded the earl out of the room. + +Lord de Guest still felt that he had not succeeded. We may probably +say, looking at the squire's character and peculiarities, that no +marked success was probable at the first opening--out of such a subject. +He had said of himself that he was never able to speak quickly in +matters of moment; but he would more correctly have described his own +character had he declared that he could not think of them quickly. As +it was, the earl was disappointed; but had he been able to read the +squire's mind, his disappointment would have been less strong. Mr Dale +knew well enough that he was being treated well, and that the effort +being made was intended with kindness to those belonging to him; but it +was not in his nature to be demonstrative and quick at expressions of +gratitude. So he entered the drawing-room with a cold, placid face, +leading Eames, and Lady Julia also, to suppose that no good had been +done. + +"How do you do, sir?" said Johnny, walking up to him in a wild sort of +manner--going through a premeditated lesson, but doing it without any +presence of mind. + +"How do you do, Eames?" said the squire, speaking with a very cold +voice. And then there was nothing further said till the dinner was +announced. + +"Dale, I know you drink port," said the earl when Lady Julia left them. + +"If you say you don't like that, I shall say you know nothing about it." + +"Ah! that's the '20," said the squire, tasting it. + +"I should rather think it is," said the earl. I was lucky enough to get +it early, and it hasn't been moved for thirty years. I like to give it +to a man who knows it, as you do, at the first glance. Now there's my +friend Johnny there; it's thrown away upon him." + +"No, my lord, it is not. I think it's uncommonly nice." + +"Uncommonly nice! So is champagne, or ginger-beer, or lollipops--for +those who like them. Do you mean to tell me you can taste wine with +half a pickled orange in your mouth?" + +"It'll come to him soon enough," said the squire. + +"Twenty port won't come to him when he is as old as we are," said the +earl, forgetting that by that time sixty port will be as wonderful to +the then living seniors of the age as was his own pet vintage to him. + +The good wine did in some sort soften the squire; but, as a matter of +course, nothing further was said as to the new matrimonial scheme. The +earl did observe, however, that Mr Dale was civil, and even kind, to +his own young friend, asking a question here and there as to his life +in London, and saying something about the work at the Income-tax Office. + +"It is hard work," said Eames. + +"If you're under the line, they make a great row about it, send for +you, and look at you as though you'd been robbing the bank; but they +think nothing of keeping you till five." + +"But how long do you have for lunch and reading the papers?" said the +earl. + +"Not ten minutes. We take a paper among twenty of us for half the day. +That's exactly nine minutes to each; and as for lunch, we only have a +biscuit dipped in ink." + +"Dipped in ink!" said the squire. + +"It comes to that, for you have to be writing while you munch it." + +"I hear all about you," said the earl; + +"Sir Raffle Buffle is an old crony of mine." + +"I don't suppose he ever heard my name as yet" said Johnny. + +"But do you really know him well, Lord de Guest?" + +"Haven't seen him these thirty years; but I did know him." + +"We call him old Huffle Scuffle." + +"Huffle Scuffle! Ha, ha, ha! He always was Huffle Scuffle; a noisy, +pretentious, empty-headed fellow. But I oughtn't to say so before you, +young man. Come, we'll go into the drawing-room." + +"And what did he say?" asked Lady Julia, as soon as the squire was gone. + +There was no attempt at concealment, and the question was asked in +Johnny's presence. + +"Well, he did not say much. And coming from him, that ought to be taken +as a good sign. He is to think of it, and let me see him again. You +hold your head up, Johnny, and remember that you shan't want a friend +on your side. Faint heart never won fair lady." + +At seven o'clock on the following morning Eames started on his return +journey, and was at his desk at twelve o'clock--as per agreement with +his taskmaster at the Income-tax Office. + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV + +THE COMBAT + +I have said that John Eames was at his office punctually at twelve; but +an incident had happened before his arrival there very important in the +annals which are now being told--so important that it is essentially +necessary that it should be described with some minuteness of detail. + +Lord de Guest, in the various conversations which he had had with Eames +as to Lily Dale and her present position, had always spoken of Crosbie +with the most vehement abhorrence. + +"He is a damned blackguard," said the earl, and the fire had come out +of his round eyes as he spoke. Now the earl was by no means given to +cursing and swearing, in the sense which is ordinarily applied to these +words. When he made use of such a phrase as that quoted above, it was +to be presumed that he in some sort meant what he said; and so he did, +and had intended to signify that Crosbie by his conduct had merited all +such condemnation as was the fitting punishment for blackguardism of +the worst description. + +"He ought to have his neck broken," said Johnny. + +"I don't know about that," said the earl. + +"The present times have become so pretty behaved that corporal +punishment seems to have gone out of fashion. I shouldn't care so much +about that, if any other punishment had taken its place. But it seems +to me that a blackguard such as Crosbie can escape now altogether +unscathed." + +"He hasn't escaped yet," said Johnny. + +"Don't you go and put your finger in the pie and make a fool of +yourself," said the earl. If it had behoved any one to resent in any +violent fashion the evil done by Crosbie, Bernard Dale, the earl's +nephew, should have been the avenger. This the earl felt, but under +these circumstances he was disposed to think that there should be no +such violent vengeance.. + +"Things were different when I was young," he said to himself. But Eames +gathered from the earl's tone that the earl's words were not strictly +in accordance with his thoughts, and he declared to himself over and +over again that Crosbie had not yet escaped. + +He got into the train at Guestwick, taking a first-class ticket, +because the earl's groom in livery was in attendance upon him. Had he +been alone he would have gone in a cheaper carriage. Very weak in him, +was it not? little also, and mean? My friend, can you say that you +would not have done the same at his age? Are you quite sure that you +would not do the same now that you are double his age? Be that as it +may, Johnny Eames did that foolish thing, and gave the groom in livery +half-a-crown into the bargain. + +"We shall have you down again soon, Mr John," said the groom, who +seemed to understand that Mr Eames was to be made quite at home at the +manor. + +He went fast to sleep in the carriage, and did not awake till the train +was stopped at the Barchester Junction. + +"Waiting for the up-train from Barchester, sir," said the guard. +"They're always late." Then he went to sleep again, and was aroused in +a few minutes by some one entering the carriage in a great hurry. The +branch train had come in, just as the guardians of the line then +present had made up their minds that the passengers on the main line +should not be kept waiting any longer. The transfer of men, women, and +luggage was therefore made in great haste, and they who were now taking +their new seats had hardly time to look about them. An old gentleman, +very red about the gills, first came into Johnny's carriage, which up +to that moment he had shared with an old lady. The old gentleman was +abusing everybody, because he was hurried, and would not take himself +well into the compartment, but stuck in the doorway, standing on the +step. + +"Now, sir, when you're quite at leisure," said a voice behind the old +man, which instantly made Eames start up in his seat. + +"I'm not at all at leisure," said the old man; "and I'm not going to +break my legs if I know it." + +"Take your time, sir," said the guard. + +"So I mean," said the old man, seating himself in the corner nearest to +the open door, opposite to the old lady. Then Eames saw plainly that it +was Crosbie who had first spoken, and that he was getting into the +carriage. + +Crosbie at the first glance saw no one but the old gentleman and the +old lady, and he immediately made for the unoccupied corner seat. He +was busy with his umbrella and his dressingbag, and a little flustered +by the pushing and hurrying. The carriage was actually in motion before +he perceived that John Eames was opposite to him: Eames had, +instinctively, drawn up his legs so as not to touch him. He felt that +he had become very red in the face, and to tell the truth, the +perspiration had broken out upon his brow. It was a great +occasion--great in its imminent trouble, and great in its opportunity +for action. How was he to carry himself at the first moment of his +recognition by his enemy, and what was he to do afterwards? + +It need hardly be explained that Crosbie had also been spending his +Christmas with a certain earl of his acquaintance, and that he too was +returning to his office. In one respect he had been much more fortunate +than poor Eames, for he had been made happy with the smiles of his lady +love. Alexandrina and the countess had fluttered about him softly, +treating him as a tame chattel, now belonging to the noble house of De +Courcy, and in this way he had been initiated into the inner +domesticities of that illustrious family. The two extra men-servants, +hired to wait upon Lady Dumbello, had vanished. The champagne had +ceased to flow in a perennial stream. Lady Rosina had come out from her +solitude, and had preached at him constantly. Lady Margaretta had given +him some lessons in economy. The Honourable John, in spite of a late +quarrel, had borrowed five pounds from him. The Honourable George had +engaged to come and stay with his sister during the next May. The earl +had used a father-in-law's privilege, and had called him a fool. Lady +Alexandrina had told him more than once, in rather a tart voice, that +this must be done, and that that must be done; and the countess had +given him her orders as though it was his duty, in the course of +nature, to obey every word that fell from her. Such had been his +Christmas delights; and now, as he returned back from the enjoyment of +them, he found himself confronted in the railway carriage with Johnny +Eames. + +The eyes of the two met, and Crosbie made a slight inclination of the +head. To this Eames gave no acknowledgment whatever, but looked +straight into the other's face. Crosbie immediately saw that they were +not to know each other, and was well contented that it should be so. +Among all his many troubles, the enmity of John Eames did not go for +much. He showed no appearance of being disconcerted, though our friend +had shown much. He opened his bag, and taking out a book, was soon +deeply engaged in it, pursuing his studies as though the man opposite +was quite unknown to him. I will not say that his mind did not run away +from his book, for indeed there were many things of which he found it +impossible not to think; but it did not revert to John Eames. Indeed, +when the carriages reached Paddington, he had in truth all but +forgotten him; and as he stepped out of the carriage, with his bag in +his hand, was quite free from any remotest trouble on his account. + +But it had not been so with Eames himself. Every moment of the journey +had, for him been crowded with thought as to what he would do now that +chance had brought his enemy within his reach. He had been made quite +wretched by the intensity of his thinking; and yet, when the carriages +stopped, he had not made up his mind. His face had been covered with +perspiration ever since Crosbie had come across him, and his limbs had +hardly been under his own command. Here had come to him a great +opportunity, and he felt so little confidence in himself that he +almost knew that he would not use it properly. Twice and thrice he had +almost flown at Crosbie's throat in the carriage, but he was restrained +by an idea that the world and the police would be against him if he +did such a thing in the presence of that old lady. + +But when Crosbie turned his back upon him, and walked out, it was +absolutely necessary that he should do something. He was not going to +let the man escape, after all that he had said as to the expediency of +thrashing him. Any other disgrace would be preferable to that. Fearing, +therefore, lest his enemy should be too quick for him, he hurried out +after him, and only just gave Crosbie time to turn round and face the +carriages, before he was upon him. + +"You confounded scoundrel!" he screamed out. + +"You confounded scoundrel!" and seized him by the throat, throwing +himself upon him, and almost devouring him by the fury of his eyes. + +The crowd upon the platform was not very dense, but there were quite +enough of people to make a very respectable audience for this little +play. Crosbie, in his dismay, retreated a step or two, and his retreat +was much accelerated by the weight of Eames's attack. He endeavoured to +free his throat from his foe's grasp; but in that he failed entirely. +For the minute, however, he did manage to escape any positive blow, +owing his safety in that respect rather to Eames's awkwardness than to +his own efforts. Something about the police he was just able to utter, +and there was, as a matter of course, an immediate call for a supply of +those functionaries. In about three minutes three policemen, assisted +by six porters, had captured our poor friend Johnny; but this had not +been done quick enough for Crosbie's purposes. The bystanders, taken by +surprise, had allowed the combatants to fall back upon Mr Smith's +book-stall, and there Eames laid his foe prostrate among the +newspapers, falling himself into the yellow shilling-novel depot by the +over fury of his own energy; but as he fell, he contrived to lodge one +blow with his fist in Crosbie's right eye--one telling blow; and Crosbie +had, to all intents and purposes, been thrashed. + +"Con-founded scoundrel, rascal, blackguard!" shouted Johnny, with what +remnants of voice were left to him, as the police dragged him off. + +"If you only knew what he's done." But in the meantime the policemen +held him fast. + +As a matter of course the first burst of public sympathy went with +Crosbie. He had been assaulted, and the assault had come from Eames. In +the British bosom there is so firm a love of well-constituted order, +that these facts alone were sufficient to bring twenty knights to the +assistance of the three policemen and the six porters; so that for +Eames, even had he desired it, there was no possible chance of escape. +But he did not desire it. One only sorrow consumed him at present. He +had, as he felt, attacked Crosbie, but had attacked him in vain. He had +had his opportunity, and had misused it. He was perfectly unconscious +of that happy blow, and was in absolute ignorance of the great fact +that his enemy's eye was already swollen and closed, and that in +another hour it would be as black as his hat. + +"He is a con-founded rascal!" ejaculated Eames, as the policemen and +porters hauled him about. + +"You don't know what he's done." + +"No, we don't," said the senior constable; "but we know what you have +done. I say, Bushers, where's that gentleman? He'd better come along +with us." + +Crosbie had been picked up from among the newspapers by another +policeman and two or three other porters, and was attended also by the +guard of the train, who knew him, and knew that he had come up from +Courcy Castle. Three or four hangers-on were standing also around him, +together with a benevolent medical man who was proposing to him an +immediate application of leeches. If he could have done as he wished, +he would have gone his way quietly, allowing Eames to do the same. A +great evil had befallen him, but he could in no way mitigate that evil +by taking the law of the man who had attacked him. To have the thing as +little talked about as possible should be his endeavour. What though he +should have Eames locked up and fined, and scolded by a police +magistrate? That would not in any degree lessen his calamity. If he +could have parried the attack, and got the better of his foe; if he +could have administered the black eye instead of receiving it, then +indeed he could have laughed the matter off at his club, and his +original crime would have been somewhat glozed over by his success in +arms. But such good fortune had not been his. He was forced, however, +on the moment to decide as to what he would do. + +"We've got him here in custody, sir," said Bushers, touching his hat. +It had become known from the guard that Crosbie was somewhat of a big +man, a frequent guest at Courcy Castle, and of repute and station in +the higher regions of the Metropolitan world. + +"The magistrates will be sitting at Paddington, now, sir--or will be by +the time we get there." + +By this time some mighty railway authority had come upon the scene and +made himself cognisant of the facts of the row--a stern official who +seemed to carry the weight of many engines on his brow; one at the very +sight of whom smokers would drop their cigars, and porters close their +fists against sixpences; a great man with an erect chin, a quick step, +and a well-brushed hat powerful with an elaborately upturned brim. This +was the platform--superintendent, dominant, even over the policemen. + +"Step into my room, Mr Crosbie," he said. "Stubbs, bring that man in +with you." And then, before Crosbie had been able to make up his mind +as to any other line of conduct, he found himself in the +superintendent's room, accompanied by the guard, and by the two +policemen who conducted Johnny Eames between them. + +"What's all this?" said the superintendent, still keeping on his hat, +for he was aware how much of the excellence of his personal dignity was +owing to the arrangement of that article; and as he spoke he frowned +upon the culprit with his utmost severity. + +"Mr Crosbie, I am very sorry that you should have been exposed to such +brutality on our platform." + +"You don't know what he has done," said Johnny. "He is the most +confounded scoundrel living. He has broken"--But then he stopped +himself. He was going to tell the superintendent that the confounded +scoundrel had broken a beautiful young lady's heart; but he bethought +himself that he would not allude more specially to Lily Dale in that +hearing. + +"Do you know who he is, Mr Crosbie?" said the superintendent. + +"Oh, yes," said Crosbie, whose eye was already becoming blue. + +"He is a clerk in the Income-tax Office, and his name is Eames. I +believe you had better leave him to me." + +But the superintendent at once wrote down the words "Income-tax +Office--Eames," on his tablet. "We can't allow a row like that to take +place on our platform and not notice it. I shall bring it before the +directors. It's a most disgraceful affair, Mr Eames--most disgraceful." + +But Johnny by this time had perceived that Crosbie's eye was in a state +which proved satisfactorily that his morning's work had not been thrown +away, and his spirits were rising accordingly. He did not care two +straws for the superintendent or even for the policemen, if only the +story could be made to tell well for himself hereafter. It was his +object to have thrashed Crosbie, and now, as he looked at his enemy's +face, he acknowledged that Providence had been good to him. + +"That's your opinion," said Johnny. + +"Yes, sir, it is," said the superintendent; "and I shall know how to +represent the matter to your superiors, young man." + +"You don't know all about it," said Eames; "and I don't suppose you +ever will. I had made up my mind what I'd do the first time I saw that +scoundrel there; and now I've done it. He'd have got much worse in the +railway carriage, only there was a lady there." + +"Mr Crosbie, I really think we had better take him before the +magistrates." + +To this, however, Crosbie objected. He assured the superintendent that +he would himself know how to deal with the matter--which, however, was +exactly what he did not know. Would the superintendent allow one of the +railway servants to get a cab for him, and to find his luggage? He was +very anxious to get home without being subjected to any more of Mr +Eames's insolence. + +"You haven't done with Mr Eames's insolence yet, I can tell you. All +London shall hear of it, and shall know why. If you have any shame in +you, you shall be ashamed to show your face." + +Unfortunate man! Who can say that punishment--adequate punishment--had +not overtaken him? For the present, he had to sneak home with a black +eye, with the knowledge inside him that he had been whipped by a clerk +in the Income-tax Office; and for the future--he was bound over to marry +Lady Alexandrina de Courcy! + +He got himself smuggled off in a cab, without being forced to go again +upon the platform--his luggage being brought to him by two assiduous +porters. But in all this there was very little balm for his hurt pride. +As he ordered the cabman to drive to Mount Street, he felt that he had +ruined himself by that step in life which he had taken at Courcy +Castle. Whichever way he looked he had no comfort. + +"D--- the fellow!" he said, almost out loud in the cab; but though he did +with his outward voice allude to Eames, the curse in his inner thoughts +was uttered against himself. + +Johnny was allowed to make his way down to the platform, and there find +his own carpet-bag. One young porter, however, came up and fraternised +with him. + +"You guve it him tidy just at that last moment, sir. But, laws, sir, +you should have let out at him at fust. What's the use of clawing a +man's neck-collar?" + +It was then a quarter past eleven, but, nevertheless, Eames appeared at +his office precisely at twelve. + + + +CHAPTER XXXV + +VAE VICTIS + +Crosbie had two engagements for that day; one being his natural +engagement to do his work at his office, and the other an engagement, +which was now very often becoming as natural, to dine at St. John's +Wood with Lady Amelia Gazebee. It was manifest to him when he looked at +himself in the glass hat he could keep neither of these engagements. + +"Oh, laws, Mr Crosbie," the woman of the house exclaimed when she saw +him. + +"Yes, I know," said he. "I've had an accident and got a black eye. +What's a good thing for it?" + +"Oh! an accident!" said the woman, who knew well that that mark had +been made by another man's fist. "They do say that a bit of raw beef is +about the best thing. But then it must be held on constant all the +morning." + +Anything would be better than leeches, which tell long-enduring tales, +and therefore Crosbie sat through the greater part of the morning +holding the raw beef to his eye. But it was necessary that he should +write two notes as he held it, one to Mr Butterwell at his office, and +the other to his future sister-in-law. He felt that it would hardly be +wise to attempt any entire concealment of the nature of his +catastrophe, as some of the circumstances would assuredly become known. +If he said that he had fallen over the coal-scuttle, or on to the +fender, thereby cutting his face, people would learn that he had +fibbed, and would learn also that he had had some reason for fibbing. +Therefore he constructed his notes with a phraseology that bound him to +no details. To Butterwell he said that he had had an accident--rather a +row--and that he had come out of it with considerable damage to his +frontispiece. He intended to be at the office on the next day, whether +able to appear decently there or not. But for the sake of decency he +thought it well to give himself that one half-day's chance. Then to the +Lady Amelia he also said that he had had an accident, and had been a +little hurt. + +"It is nothing at all serious, and affects only my appearance, so that +I had better remain in for a day. I shall certainly be with you on +Sunday. Don't let Gazebee trouble himself to come to me, as I shan't be +at home after today." Gazebee did trouble himself to come to Mount +Street so often, and South Audley Street, in which was Mr Gazebee's +office, was so disagreeably near to Mount Street, that Crosbie inserted +this in order to protect himself if possible. Then he gave special +orders that he was to be at home to no one, fearing that Gazebee would +call for him after the hours of business--to make him safe and carry him +off bodily to St. John's Wood. + +The beefsteak and the dose of physic and the cold-water application +which was kept upon it all night was not efficacious in dispelling that +horrid, black-blue colour by ten o'clock on the following morning. + +"It certainly have gone down, Mr Crosbie; it certainly have," said the +mistress of the lodgings, touching the part affected with her finger. + +"But the black won't go out of them all in a minute; it won't indeed. +Couldn't you just stay in one more day?" + +"But will one day do it, Mrs Phillips?" + +Mrs Phillips couldn't take upon herself to say that it would. "They +mostly come with little red streaks across the black before they goes +away," said Mrs Phillips, who would seem to have been the wife of a +prize-fighter, so well was she acquainted with black eyes. + +"And that won't be till tomorrow," said Crosbie, affecting to be +mirthful in his agony. + +"Not till the third day--and then they wears themselves out, gradual. I +never knew leeches do any good." + +He stayed at home the second day, and then resolved that he would go to +his office, black eye and all. In that morning's newspaper he saw an +account of the whole transaction, saying how Mr C-- of the office of +General Committees, who was soon about to lead to the hymeneal altar the +beautiful daughter of the Earl de C--, had been made the subject of a +brutal personal attack on the platform of the Great Western Railway +Station, and how he was confined to his room from the injuries which he +had received. The paragraph went on to state that the delinquent had, +as it was believed, dared to raise his eyes to the same lady, and that +his audacity had been treated with scorn by every member of the noble +family in question. + +"It was, however, satisfactory to know," so said the newspaper, "that +Mr C-- had amply avenged himself, and had so flogged the young man in +question, that he had been unable to stir from his bed since the +occurrence." + +On reading this Crosbie felt that it would be better that he should +show himself at once, and tell as much of the truth as the world would +he likely to ascertain at last without his telling. So on that third +morning he put on his hat and gloves, and had himself taken to his +office, though the red-streaky period of his misfortune had hardly even +yet come upon him. The task of walking along the office passage, +through the messengers' lobby, and into his room, was very +disagreeable. Of course everybody looked at him, and, of course, he +failed in his attempt to appear as though he did not mind it. + +"Boggs," he said to one of the men as he passed by, "just see if Mr +Butterwell is in his room," and then, as he expected, Mr Butterwell +came to him after the expiration of a few minutes. + +"Upon my word, that is serious," said Mr Butterwell, looking into the +secretary's damaged face. + +"I don't think I would have come out if I had been you." + +"Of course it's disagreeable," said Crosbie; "but it's better to put up +with it. Fellows do tell such horrid lies if a man isn't seen for a day +or two. I believe it's best to put a good face upon it." + +"That's more than you can do just at present, eh, Crosbie?" And then Mr +Butterwell tittered. + +"But how on earth did it happen? The paper says that you pretty well +killed the fellow who did it." + +"The paper lies, as papers always do. I didn't touch him at all." + +"Didn't you, though? I should like to have had a poke at him after +getting such a tap in the face as that." + +"The policemen came, and all that sort of thing. One isn't allowed to +fight it out in a row of that kind as one would have to do on Salisbury +heath. Not that I mean to say that I could lick the fellow. How's a man +to know whether he can or not?" + +"How, indeed, unless he gets a licking--or gives it? But who was he, and +what's this about his having been scorned by the noble family?" + +"Trash and lies, of course. He had never seen any of the De Courcy +people." + +"I suppose the truth is, it was about that other--eh, Crosbie? I knew +you'd find yourself in some trouble before you'd done." + +"I don't know what it was about, or why he should have made such a +brute of himself. You have heard about those people at Allington? + +"Oh, yes; I have heard about them." + +"God knows, I didn't mean to say anything against them. They knew +nothing about it." + +"But the young fellow knew them? Ah, yes, I see all about it. He wants +to step into your shoes. I can't say that he sets about it in a bad +way. But what do you mean to do?" + +"Nothing." + +"Nothing! Won't that look queer? I think I should have him before the +magistrates." + +"You see, Butterwell, I am bound to spare that girl's name. I know I +have behaved badly." + +"Well, yes; I fear you have." + +Mr Butterwell said this with some considerable amount of decision in +his voice, as though he did not intend to mince matters, or in any way +to hide his opinion. Crosbie had got into a way of condemning himself +in this matter of his marriage, but was very anxious that others, on +hearing such condemnation from him, should say something in the way of +palliating his fault. It would be so easy for a friend to remark that +such little peccadilloes were not altogether uncommon, and that it +would sometimes happen in life that people did not know their own +minds. He had hoped for some such benevolence from Fowler Pratt, but +had hoped in vain. Butterwell was a good-natured, easy man, anxious to +stand well with all about him, never pretending to any very high tone +of feeling or of morals; and yet Butterwell would say no word of +comfort to him. He could get no one to slur over his sin for him, as +though it were no sin--only an unfortunate mistake; no one but the De +Courcys, who had, as it were, taken, possession of him and swallowed +him alive. + +"It can't be helped now," said Crosbie. + +"But as for that fellow who made such a brutal attack on me the other +morning, he knows that he is safe behind her petticoats. I can do +nothing which would not make some mention of her name necessary." +"Ah, yes; I see," said Butterwell. + +"It's very unfortunate; very. I don't know that I can do anything for +you. Will you come before the Board today?" + +"Yes; of course I shall," said Crosbie, who was becoming very sore. His +sharp ear had told him that all Butterwell's respect and cordiality +were gone--at any rate for the time. Butterwell, though holding the +higher official rank, had always been accustomed to treat him as though +he, the inferior, were to be courted. He had possessed, and had known +himself to possess, in his office as well as in the outside world, a +sort of rank much higher than that which from his position he could +claim legitimately. Now he was being deposed. There could be no better +touchstone in such a matter than Butterwell. He would go as the world +went, but he would perceive almost intuitively how the world intended +to go. + +"Tact, tact, tact," as he was in the habit of saying to himself when +walking along the paths of his Putney villa. Crosbie was now secretary, +whereas a few months before he had been simply a clerk; but, +nevertheless, Mr Butterwell's instinct told him that Crosbie had +fallen. Therefore he declined to offer any sympathy to the man in his +misfortune, and felt aware, as he left the secretary's room, that it +might probably be some time before he visited it again. + +Crosbie resolved in his soreness that henceforth he would brazen it +out. He would go to the Board, with as much indifference as to his +black eye as he was able to assume, and if any one said aught to him +he would be ready with his answer. He would go to his club, and let him +who intended to show him any slight beware of him in his wrath. He +could not turn upon John Eames, but he could turn upon others if it +were necessary. + +He had not gained for himself a position before the world, and held it +now for some years, to allow himself to be crushed at once because he +had made a mistake. If the world, his world, chose to go to war with +him, he would be ready for the fight. As for Butterwell-Butterwell the +incompetent, Butterwell the vapid--for Butterwell, who in every little +official difficulty had for years past come to him, he would let +Butterwell know what it was to be thus disloyal to one who had +condescended to be his friend. He would show them all at the Board that +he scorned them, and could be their master. Then, too, as he was making +some other resolves as to his future conduct, he made one or two +resolutions respecting the De Courcy people. He would make it known to +them that he was not going to be their very humble servant. He would +speak out his mind with considerable plainness; and if upon that they +should choose to break off this "alliance," they might do so; he would +not break his heart. And as he leaned back in his arm chair, thinking +of all this, an idea made its way into his brain--a floating castle in +the air, rather than the image of a thing that might by possibility be +realised; and in this castle in the air he saw himself kneeling again +at Lily's feet, asking her pardon, and begging that he might once more +be taken to her heart. + +"Mr Crosbie is here today," said Mr Butterwell to Mr Optimist. + +"Oh, indeed," said Mr Optimist, very gravely; for he had heard all +about the row at the railway station. + +"They've made a monstrous show of him." + +"I am very sorry to hear it. It's so-so-so- If it were one of the +younger clerks, you know, we should tell him that it was discreditable +to the department." + +"If a man gets a blow in the eye, he can't help it, you know. He didn't +do it himself, I suppose," said Major Fiasco. + +"I am well aware that he didn't do it himself," continued Mr Optimist; +"but I really think that, in his position, he should have kept himself +out of any such encounter." + +"He would have done so if he could, with all his heart," said the major. + +"I don't suppose he liked being thrashed any better than I should." + +"Nobody gives me a black eye," said Mr Optimist. + +"Nobody has as yet," said the major. + +"I hope they never will," said Mr Butterwell. Then, the hour for their +meeting having come round, Mr Crosbie came into the Board-room. + +"We have been very sorry to hear of this misfortune," said Mr Optimist, +very gravely. + +"Not half so sorry as I have been," said Crosbie, with a laugh. + +"It's an uncommon nuisance to have a black eye, and to go about looking +like a prize-fighter." + +"And like a prize-fighter that didn't win his battle, too," said Fiasco. + +"I don't know that there's much difference as to that, said Crosbie. + +"But the whole thing is a nuisance, and, if you please, we won't say +anything more about it." + +Mr Optimist almost entertained an opinion that it was his duty to say +something more about it. Was not he the chief Commissioner, and was not +Mr Crosbie secretary to the Board? Ought he, looking at their +respective positions, to pass over without a word of notice such a +manifest impropriety as this? Would not Sir Raffle Buffle have said +something had Mr Butterwell, when secretary, come to the office with a +black eye? He wished to exercise all the full rights of a chairman; +but, nevertheless, as he looked at the secretary he felt embarrassed, +and was unable to find the proper words. + +"H-m, ha, well; we'll go to business now, if you please," he said, as +though reserving to himself the right of returning to the secretary's +black eye, when the more usual business of the Board should be +completed. But when the more usual business of the Board had been +completed, the secretary left the room without any further reference to +his eye. + +Crosbie, when he got back to his own apartment, found Mortimer Gazebee +waiting there for him. + +"My dear fellow," said Gazebee, "this is a very nasty affair." + +"Uncommonly nasty," said Crosbie; so nasty that I don't mean to talk +about it to anybody." + +"Lady Amelia is quite unhappy." He always called her Lady Amelia, even +when speaking of her to his own brothers and sisters. He was too well +behaved to take the liberty of calling an earl's daughter by her plain +Christian name even though that earl's daughter was his own wife. She +fears that you have been a good deal hurt." + +"Not at all hurt; but disfigured, as you see." + +"And so you beat the fellow well that did it? + +"No, I didn't," said Crosbie very angrily. + +"I didn't beat him at all. You don't believe everything you read in the +newspapers; do you?" + +"No, I don't believe everything. Of course I didn't believe about his +having aspired to an alliance with Lady Alexandrina. That was untrue, +of course." Mr Gazebee showed by the tone of his voice that imprudence +so unparalleled as that was quite incredible. + +"You shouldn't believe anything; except this--that I have got a black +eye." + +"You certainly have got that. Lady Amelia thinks you would be more +comfortable if you would come up to us this evening. You can't go out, +of course; but Lady Amelia said, very good-naturedly, that you need not +mind with her." + +"Thank you, no; I'll come on Sunday." + +"Of course Lady Alexandrina will be very anxious to hear from her +sister; and Lady Amelia begged me very particularly to press you to +come." + +"Thank you, no; not today." + +"Why not?" + +"Oh, simply because I shall be better at home." + +"How can you be better at home? You can have anything that you want. +Lady Amelia won't mind, you know." + +Another beefsteak to his eye, as he sat in the drawing-room, a +cold-water bandage, or any little medical appliance of that sort--these +were the things which Lady Amelia would, in her domestic good nature, +condescend not to mind! + +"I won't trouble her this evening," said Crosbie. + +"Well, upon my word, I think you're wrong. All manner of stories will +get down to Courcy Castle, and to the countess's ears; and you don't +know what harm may come of it. Lady Amelia thinks she had better write +and explain it; but she can't do so till she has heard something about +it from you." + +"Look here, Gazebee. I don't care one straw what story finds its way +down to Courcy Castle." + +"But if the earl were to hear anything, and be offended? + +"He may recover from his offence as he best likes." + +"My dear fellow; that's talking wildly, you know." + +"What on earth do you suppose the earl can do to me? Do you think I'm +going to live in fear of Lord de Courcy all my life, because I'm going +to marry his daughter? I shall write to Alexandrina myself today, and +you can tell her sister so. I'll be up to dinner on Sunday, unless my +face makes it altogether out of the question." + +"And you won't come in time for church?" + +"Would you have me go to church with such a face as this?" + +Then Mr Mortimer Gazebee went and when he got home, he told his wife +that Crosbie was taking things with a high hand. + +"The fact is, my dear, that he's ashamed of himself, and therefore +tries to put a bold face upon it. It was very foolish of him throwing +himself in the way of that young man--very; and so I shall tell him on +Sunday. If he chooses to give himself airs to me, I shall make him +understand that he is very wrong. He should remember now that the way +in which he conducts himself is a matter of moment to all our family." + +"Of course he should," said Mr Gazebee. + +When the Sunday came the red-streaky period had arrived, but had by no +means as yet passed away. The men at the office had almost become used +to it; but Crosbie, in spite of his determination to go down to the +club, had not yet shown himself elsewhere. Of course he did not go to +church, but at five he made his appearance at the house in St. John's +Wood. They always dined at five on Sundays, having some idea that by +doing so they kept the Sabbath better than they would have done had +they dined at seven. If keeping the Sabbath consists in going to bed +early, or is in any way assisted by such a practice, they were right. +To the cook that semi-early dinner might perhaps be convenient, as it +gave her an excuse for not going to church in the afternoon, as the +servants' and children's dinner gave her a similar excuse in the +morning. Such little, attempts at goodness--proceeding half the way, or +perhaps, as in this instance, one quarter of the way, on the +disagreeable path towards goodness, are very common with respectable +people, such as Lady Amelia. If she would have dined at one o'clock, +and have eaten cold meat one perhaps might have felt that she was +entitled to some praise. + +"Dear, dear, dear; this is very sad, isn't it, Adolphus?" she said on +first seeing him. + +"Well, it is sad, Amelia," he said. He always called her Amelia, +because she called him Adolphus; but Gazebee himself was never quite +pleased when he heard it. Lady Amelia was older than Crosbie, and +entitled to call him anything she liked; but he should have remembered +the great difference in their rank. + +"It is sad, Amelia," he said. +"But will you oblige me in one thing?" + +"What thing, Adolphus?" + +"Not to say a word more about it. The black eye is a bad thing, no +doubt, and has troubled me much; but the sympathy of my friends has +troubled me a great deal more. I had all the family commiseration from +Gazebee on Friday, and if it is repeated again, I shall lie down and +die." + +"Shall 'oo die Uncle Dolphus, 'cause 'oo've got a bad eye? asked De +Courcy Gazebee, the eldest hope of the family, looking up into his face. + +"No, my hero," said Crosbie, taking the boy up into his arms, "not +because I've got a black eye. There isn't very much harm in that, and +you'll have a great many before you leave school. But because the +people will go on talking about it." + +"But Aunt Dina on't like 'oo, if oo've got an ugly bad eye." + +"But, Adolphus," said Lady Amelia, settling herself for an argument, +"that's all very well, you know--and I'm sure I'm very sorry to cause +you any annoyance--but really one doesn't know how to pass over such a +thing without speaking of it. I have had a letter from mamma." + +"I hope Lady de Courcy is quite well." + +"Quite well, thank you. But as a matter of course she is very anxious +about this affair. She had read what has been said in the newspapers, +and it may be necessary that Mortimer should take it up, as the family +solicitor." + +"Quite out of the question," said Adolphus. + +"I don't think I should advise any such step as that," said Gazebee. + +"Perhaps not; very likely not. But you cannot be surprised, Mortimer, +that my mother under such circumstances should wish to know what are +the facts of the case." + +"Not at all surprised," said Gazebee. + +"Then once for all, I'll tell you the facts. As I got out, of the train +a man I'd seen once before in my life made an attack upon me, and +before the police came up, I got a blow in the face. Now you know all +about it." + +At that moment dinner was announced. + +"Will you give Lady Amelia your arm?" said the husband. + +"It's a very sad occurrence," said Lady Amelia with a slight toss of +her head, "and, I'm afraid, will cost my sister a great deal of +vexation." + +"You agree with De Courcy, do you, that Aunt Dina won't like me with an +ugly black eye" + +"I really don't think it's a joking matter," said the Lady Amelia. And +then there was nothing more said about it during the dinner. + +There was nothing more said about it during the dinner, but it was +plain enough from Lady Amelia's countenance, that she was not very well +pleased with her future brother-in-law's conduct. She was very +hospitable to him, pressing him to eat; but even in doing that she made +repeated little references to his present unfortunate state. She told +him that she did not think fried plum-pudding would be bad for him, but +that she would recommend him not to drink port wine after dinner. + +"By-the-by, Mortimer, you'd better have some claret up," she remarked. + +"Adolphus shouldn't take anything that is heating." + +"Thank you," said Crosbie. + +"I'll have some brandy-and-water, if Gazebee will give it me." + +"Brandy-and-water!" said Lady Amelia. Crosbie in truth was not given to +the drinking of brandy-and-water; but he was prepared to call for raw +gin, if he were driven much further by Lady Amelia's solicitude. + +At these Sunday dinners the mistress of the house never went away into +the drawing-room, and the tea was always brought into them at the table +on which they had dined. It was another little step towards keeping +holy the first day of the week. When Lady Rosina was there, she was +indulged with the sight of six or seven solid good books which were +laid upon the mahogany as soon as the bottles were taken off it. At her +first prolonged visit she had obtained for herself the privilege of +reading a sermon; but as on such occasions both Lady Amelia and Mr +Gazebee would go to sleep--and as the footman had also once shown a +tendency that way--the sermon had been abandoned. But the master of the +house, on these evenings, when his sister-in-law was present, was +doomed to sit in idleness, or else to find solace in one of the solid +good books. But Lady Rosina just now was in the country, and therefore +the table was left unfurnished. + +"And what am I to say to my mother?" said Lady Amelia, when they were +alone. + +"Give her my kindest regards," said Crosbie. It was quite clear both to +the husband and to the wife, that he was preparing himself for +rebellion against authority. + +For some ten minutes there was nothing said. Crosbie amused himself by +playing with the boy whom he called Dicksey, by way of a nickname for +De Courcy. + +"Mamma, he calls me Dicksey. Am I Dicksey? I'll call oo old Cross and +then Aunt Dina on't like 'oo." + +"I wish you would not call the child nicknames, Adolphus. It seems as +though you would wish to cast a slur upon the one which he bears." + +"I should hardly think that he would feel disposed to do that," said Mr +Gazebee. + +"Hardly, indeed," said Crosbie. + +"It has never yet been disgraced in the annals of our country by being +made into a nickname," said the proud daughter of the house. She was +probably unaware that among many of his associates her father had been +called Lord de Curse'ye, from the occasional energy of his language. + +"And any such attempt is painful in my ears. I think something of my +family, I can assure you, Adolphus, and so does my husband." + +"A very great deal," said Mr Gazebee. + +"So do I of mine," said Crosbie. + +"That's natural to all of us. One of my ancestors came over with +William the Conqueror. I think he was one of the assistant cooks in the +king's tent." + +"A cook!" said young De Courcy. + +"Yes, my boy, a cook. That was the way most of our old families were +made noble. They were cooks, or butlers to the kings--or sometimes +something worse." + +"But your family isn't noble? + +"No--I'll tell you how that was. The king wanted this cook to poison +half-a-dozen of his officers who wished to have a way of their own; but +the cook said, 'No, my Lord King; I am a cook, not an executioner.' So +they sent him into the scullery, and when they called all the other +servants barons and lords, they only called him Cookey. They've changed +the name to Crosbie since that, by degrees." + +Mr Gazebee was awestruck, and the face of the Lady Amelia became very +dark. Was it not evident that this snake, when taken into their +innermost bosoms that they might there Warm him, was becoming an adder, +and preparing to sting them? There was very little more conversation +that evening, and soon after the story of the cook, Crosbie got up and +went away to his own home. + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI + +SEE THE CONQUERING HERO COMES + +John Eames had reached his office precisely at twelve o'clock, but when +he did so he hardly knew whether he was standing on his heels or his +head. The whole morning had been to him one of intense excitement, and +latterly, to a certain extent, one of triumph. But he did not at all +know what might be the results. Would he be taken before a magistrate +and locked up? Would there be a row at the office? Would Crosbie call +him out, and, if so, would it be incumbent on him to fight a duel with +pistols? What would Lord de Guest say--Lord de Guest, who had specially +warned him not to take upon himself the duty of avenging Lily's wrongs? +What would all the Dale family say of his conduct? And, above all, what +would Lily say and think? Nevertheless, the feeling of triumph was +predominant; and now, at this interval of time, he was beginning to +remember with pleasure the sensation of his fist as it went into +Crosbie's eye. + +During his first day at the office he heard nothing about the affair, +nor did he say a word of it to any one. It was known in his room that +he had gone down to spend his Christmas holiday with Lord de Guest, and +he was treated with some increased consideration accordingly. And, +moreover, I must explain, in order that I may give Johnny Eames his +due, he was gradually acquiring for himself a good footing among the +income-tax officials. He knew his work, and did it with some manly +confidence in his own powers, and also with some manly indifference to +the occasional frowns of the mighty men of the department. He was, +moreover, popular--being somewhat of a radical in his official +demeanour, and holding by his own rights, even though mighty men should +frown In truth, he was emerging from his hobbledehoyhood and entering +upon his young manhood, having probably to go through much folly and +some false sentiment in that period of his existence, but still with +fair promise of true manliness beyond to those who were able to read +the signs of his character. + +Many questions on that first day were asked him about the glories of +his Christmas, but he had very little to say on the subject. Indeed +nothing could have been much more commonplace than his Christmas visit +it not been for the one great object which had taken him down to that +part of the country, and for the circumstance with which his holiday +had been ended. On neither of these subjects was he disposed to speak +openly; but as he walked home to Burton Crescent with Cradell, he did +tell him of the affair with Crosbie. + +"And you went in at him on the station?" asked Cradell, with admiring +doubt. + +"Yes I did. If I didn't do it there, where was I to do it? I'd said I +would and therefore when I saw him I did it." Then the whole affair was +told as to the black eye, the police, and the superintendent. + +"And what's to come next?" asked our hero. + +"Well, he'll put it in the hands of a friend, of course; as I did with +Fisher in that affair with Lupex. And, upon my word, Johnny, I shall +have to do something of the kind again. His conduct last night was +outrageous; would you believe--" + +"Oh, he's a fool." + +"He's a fool you wouldn't like to meet when he's in one of his mad +fits, I can tell you that. I absolutely had to sit up in my own bedroom +all last night. Mother Roper told me that if I remained in the +drawing-room she would feel herself obliged to have a policeman in the +house. What could I do, you know? I made her have a fire for me of +course." + +"And then you went to bed." + +"I waited ever so long, because I thought that Maria would want to see +me. At last she sent me a note. Maria is so imprudent, you know. If he +had found anything in her writing, it would have been terrible, you +know--quite terrible. And who can say whether Jemima mayn't tell? + +"And what did she say?" + +"Come; that's tellings, Master Johnny. I took very good care to take it +with me to the office this morning, for fear of accidents." + +But Eames was not so widely awake to the importance of his friend's +adventures as he might have been had he not been weighted with +adventures of his own. + +"I shouldn't care so much," said he, "about that fellow Crosbie, going +to a friend, as I should about his going to a police magistrate." + +"He'll put it in a friend's hands, of course," said Cradell with the +air of a man who from experience was well up in such matters. + +"And I suppose you'll naturally come to me. It's a deuced bore to a man +in a public office, and all that kind of thing, of course. But I'm not +the man to desert my friend. I'll stand by you, Johnny, my boy." + +"Oh, thank you," said Eames, "I don't think that I shall want that." + +"You must be ready with a friend, you know." + +"I should write down to a man I know in the country, and ask his +advice, said Eames; "an older sort of friend, you know." + +"By Jove, old fellow, take care what you are about. Don't let them say +of you that you show the white feather. Upon my honour, I'd sooner have +an thing said of me than that. I would, indeed--anything." + +"I'm not afraid of that," said Eames, with a touch of scorn in his +voice. + +"There isn't much thought about white feathers nowadays--not in the way +of fighting duels." + +After that, Cradell managed to carry back the conversation to Mrs Lupex +and his own peculiar position, and as Eames did not care to ask from +his companion further advice in his own matters, he listened nearly in +silence till they reached Burton Crescent. + +"I hope you found the noble earl well," said Mrs Roper to him, as soon +as they were all seated at dinner." + +"I found the noble earl pretty well, thank you," said Johnny. + +It had become plainly understood by all the Roperites that Eames's +position was quite altered since he had been honoured with the +friendship of Lord de Guest. Mrs Lupex, next to whom he always sat at +dinner, with a view to protecting her as it were from the dangerous +neighbourhood of Cradell, treated him with a marked courtesy. Miss +Spruce always called him "sir." Mrs Roper helped him the first of the +gentlemen, and was mindful about his fat and gravy, and Amelia felt +less able than she was before to insist upon the possession of his +heart and affections. It must not be supposed that Amelia intended to +abandon the fight, and allow the enemy to walk off with his forces; but +she felt herself constrained to treat him with a, deference that was +hardly compatible with the perfect equality, which should attend any +union of hearts. + +"It is such a privilege to be on visiting terms with the nobility," +said Mrs Lupex. When I was a girl, I used to be very intimate--" + +"You ain't a girl any longer, and so you'd better not talk about it," +said Lupex. Mr Lupex had been at that little shop in Drury Lane after +he came down from his scene-painting. + +"My dear, you needn't be a brute to me before all Mrs Roper's company. +If, led away by feelings which I will not now describe, I left my +proper circles in marrying you, you need not before all the world +teach me how much I have to regret." And Mrs Lupex, putting down her +knife and fork, applied her handkerchief to her eyes. + +"That's pleasant for a man over his meal, isn't it? said Lupex, +appealing to Miss Spruce. I have plenty of that kind of thing and you +can't think how I like it." + +"Them whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder," said Miss +Spruce. + +"As for me myself, I'm only an old woman." + +This little ebullition threw a gloom over the dinner-table, and nothing +more was said on the occasion as to the glories of Eames's career. But, +in the course of the evening, Amelia heard of the encounter which had +taken place at the railway station, and at once perceived that she +might use the occasion for her own purposes. + +"John," she whispered to her victim, finding an opportunity for coming +upon him when almost alone, "what is this I hear? I insist upon +knowing. Are you going to fight a duel?" + +"Nonsense," said Johnny. + +"But it is not nonsense. You don't know what my feelings will be, if I +think that such a thing is going to happen. But then you are so +hardhearted!" + +"I ain't hardhearted a bit, and I'm not going to fight a duel." + +"But is it true that you beat Mr Crosbie at the station?" + +"It is true. I did beat him." + +"Oh, John! not that I mean to say you were wrong, and indeed I honour +you for the feeling. There can be nothing so dreadful as a young man's +deceiving a young woman; and leaving her after he has won her +heart--particularly when she has had promise in plain words, or, +perhaps, even in, black and white." John thought of that horrid, +foolish, wretched note which he had written. + +"And a poor girl, if she can't right herself by a breach of promise, +doesn't know what to do, Does she, John?" + +"A girl who'd right herself that way wouldn't be worth having." + +"I don't know about that. When a poor girl is in such a position she +has to be said by her friends. I suppose, then, Miss Lily Dale won't +bring a breach of promise against him." + +This mention of Lily's name in such a place was sacrilege in the ears +of poor Eames. + +"I cannot tell," said he, "what may be the intention of the lady of +whom you speak. But from what I know of her friends, I should not think +that she will be disgraced by such a proceeding." + +"That may be all very well for Miss Lily Dale--" Amelia said, and then +she hesitated. It would not be well, she thought, absolutely to +threaten him as yet--not as long as there was any possibility that he +might be won without a threat. + +"Of course I know all about it," she continued. She was your L. D., +you know. Not that I was ever jealous of her. To you she was no more +than one of childhood's friends. Was she, Johnny?" + +He stamped his foot upon the floor, and then jumped up from his seat. +"I hate all that sort of twaddle about childhood's friends, and you +know I do. You'll make me swear that I'll never come into this room +again." + +"Johnny!" + +"So I will. The whole thing makes me sick. And as for that Mrs Lupex--" + +"If this is what you learn, John, by going to a lord's house, I think +you had better stay at home with your own friends." + +"Of course I had much better stay at home with my own friends. Here's +Mrs Lupex, and at any rate I can't stand her." So he went off, and +walked round the Crescent, and down to the New Road and almost into the +Regent's Park, thinking of Lily Dale and of his own cowardice with +Amelia Roper. + +On the following morning he received a message, at about one o'clock by +the mouth of the Board-room messenger informing him that his presence +was required in the Board-room. + +"Sir Raffle Buffle has desired your presence, Mr Eames." + +"My presence, Tupper! what for?" said Johnny, turning upon the +messenger, almost with dismay. + +"Indeed I can't say, Mr Eames; but Sir Raffle Buffle has desired your +presence in the Board-room." + +Such a message as that in official life always strikes awe into the +heart of a young man. And yet, young men generally come forth from such +interviews without having received any serious damage and generally +talk about the old gentlemen whom they have encountered with a good +deal of light-spirited sarcasm--or chaff as it is called in the slang +phraseology of the day. It is that same "majesty which doth hedge a +king" that does it. The turkey-cock in his own farmyard is master of +the occasion and the thought of him creates fear. A bishop in his lawn, +a judge on the bench, a chairman in the big room at the end of a long +table, or a policeman with his bull's-eye lamp upon his beat, can all +make themselves terrible by means of those appanages of majesty which +have been vouchsafed to them. But how mean is the policeman in his own +home, and how few thought much of Sir Raffle Buffle as he sat asleep +after dinner in his old slippers. How well can I remember the terror +created within me by the air of outraged dignity with which a certain +fine old gentleman, now long since gone, could rub his hands slowly, +one on the other, and look up to the ceiling, slightly shaking his +head, as though lost in the contemplation of my iniquities! I would +become sick in my stomach, and feel as though my ankles had been +broken. That upward turn of the eye unmanned me, so completely that I +was speechless as regarded any defence. I think that that old man could +hardly have known the extent of his own power. + +Once upon a time a careless lad, having the charge of a bundle of +letters addressed to the King--petitions, and such like, which in the +course of business would not get beyond the hands of some +Lord-in-waiting's deputy assistant--sent the bag which contained them to +the wrong place; to Windsor perhaps, if the Court were, in London; or +to St. James's, if it were at Windsor. He was summoned; and the great +man of the occasion contented himself with holding his hands up to the +heavens as he stood up from his chair, and, exclaiming twice, "Mis-sent +the Monarch's pouch! Mis-sent the Monarch's pouch!" That young man +never knew how he escaped from the Board-room; but for a time he was +deprived of all power of exertion, and could not resume his work till +he had had six months' leave of absence, and been brought round upon +rum and asses' milk. In that instance the peculiar use of the word +Monarch had a power which the official magnate had never contemplated. +The story, is traditional; but I believe that the circumstance happened +as lately as in the days of George the Third. + +John Eames could laugh at the present chairman of the Income-tax Office +with great freedom, and call him old Ruffle Scuffle and the like; but +now that he was sent for, he also, in spite of his radical +propensities, felt a little weak about his ankle joints. He knew, from +the first hearing of the message, that he was wanted with reference to +that affair at the railway station. Perhaps there might be a rule, that +any clerk should be dismissed who used his fists in any public place; +there were many rules entailing the punishment of dismissal for many +offences--and he began to think that he did remember something of such a +regulation. However he got up, looked once round him upon his friends, +and then followed Tupper into the Board-room. + +"There's Johnny been sent for by old Scuffles," said one clerk. + +"That's about his row with Crosbie," said another. The Board can't do +anything to him for that." + +"Can't it?" said the first. "Didn't young Outonites have to resign +because of that row at the Cider Cellars though his cousin, Sir +Constant Outonites, did all that he could for him?" + +"But he was regularly up the spout with accommodation bills." +"I tell you that I wouldn't be in Eames's shoes for a trifle. Crosbie +is secretary at the Committee Office, where Scuffles was chairman +before he came here; and of course they're as thick as thieves. I +shouldn't wonder if they didn't make him go down and apologise." + +"Johnny won't do that," said the other. In the meantime John Eames was +standing in the August presence. Sir Raffle Buffle was throned in his +great oak armchair at the head of a long table in a very large room; +and by him, at the corner of the table, was seated one of the assistant +secretaries of the office. Another member of the Board was also at work +upon the long table; but he was reading and signing papers at some +distance from Sir Raffle, and paid no heed whatever to the scene. The +assistant secretary, looking on, could see that Sir Raffle was annoyed +by this want of attention on the part of his colleague, but all this +was lost upon Eames. + +"Mr Eames?" said Sir Raffle speaking with a peculiarly harsh voice, and +looking at the culprit through a pair of goldrimmed glasses, which he +perched for the occasion upon his big nose. + +"Isn't that Mr Eames?" + +"Yes," said the assistant secretary, "this is Eames." + +"Ah!"--and then there was a pause. + +"Come a little nearer, Mr Eames, will you?" and Johnny drew nearer +advancing noiselessly over the Turkey carpet. "Let me see; in the second +class, isn't, he? Ah! Do you know, Mr Eames, that I have received a +letter from the secretary to the Directors of the Great Western Railway +Company, detailing circumstances which--if truly stated in that +letter--redound very much to your discredit?" + +"I did get into a row there yesterday, sir." + +"Got into a row! It seems to me that you have got into a very serious +row and that I must tell the Directors of the Great Western Railway +Company that the law must be allowed to take its course." + +"I shan't mind that, sir, in the least," said Eames, brightening up a +little under this view of the case. + +"Not mind that, sir!" said Sir Raffle--or rather, he shouted out the +words at the offender before him. I think that he overdid it, missing +the effect which a milder tone might have attained. Perhaps there was +lacking, to him some of that majesty of demeanour and dramatic +propriety--of voice which had been so efficacious in the little story as +to the King's bag of letters. As it was Johnny gave a slight jump, but +after his jump he felt better than he had been before. + +"'Not mind, sir, being dragged before the criminal tribunals of your +country, and being punished as a felon--or rather as a misdemeanour--for +an outrage committed on a public platform! Not mind it! What do you +mean, sir?" + +"I mean, that I don't think the magistrate would say very much about +it, sir. And I don't think Mr Crosbie would come forward." + +"But Mr Crosbie must come forward, young man. Do you suppose that an +outrage against the peace of the Metropolis is to go unpunished because +he may not wish to pursue the matter? I'm afraid you must be very +ignorant, young man." + +"Perhaps I am," said Johnny. + +"Very ignorant indeed--very ignorant indeed. And are you aware, sir, +that it would become a question, with the Commissioners of this Board +whether you could be retained in the service of this department if you +were publicly punished by a police magistrate for such a disgraceful +outrage as that?" + +Johnny looked round at the other Commissioner, but that gentleman did +not raise his face from his papers. + +"Mr Eames is a very good clerk," whispered the assistant secretary, but +in a voice which made his words audible to Eames "one of the best young +men we have" he added in a voice which was not audible. + +"Oh--ah; very well. Now, I'll tell you what, Mr Eames. I hope this will +be a lesson to you--a very serious lesson". + +The assistant secretary, leaning in his chair so as to be a little +behind the head of Sir Raffle, did manage to catch the eye of the other +Commissioner. The other Commissioner, barely looking round, smiled a +little and then the assistant secretary smiled also. Eames saw this, +and he smiled too. + +"Whether any ulterior consequences may still await the breach of the +peace of which you have been guilty, I am not yet prepared to say," +continued Sir Raffle. "You may go now." And Johnny returned to his own +place, with no increased reverence for the dignity of the chairman. + +On the following morning one of his colleagues showed him with great +glee the passage in the newspaper which informed the world that he had +been so desperately beaten by Crosbie that he was obliged to keep his +bed at this present time in consequence of the flogging that he had +received. Then his anger was aroused, and he bounced about the big room +of the Income-tax Office regardless of assistant secretaries, +head-clerks and all other official grandees whatsoever, denouncing the +iniquities of the public press, and declaring his opinion that it would +be better to live in Russia than in a country which allowed such +audacious falsehoods to be propagated. + +"He never touched me, Fisher; I don't think he ever tried; but, upon my +honour, he never touched me." + +"But, Johnny, it was bold in you to make up to Lord de Courcy's +daughter," said Fisher. + +"I never saw one of them in my life." + +"He's going it altogether among the aristocracy now, said another; I +suppose you wouldn't look at anybody under a viscount?" + +"Can I help what that thief of an editor puts into his paper? Flogged! +Huffle Scuffle told me I was a felon, but that wasn't half so bad as +this fellow;" and Johnny kicked the newspaper across the room. + +"Indict him for a libel," said Fisher. + +"Particularly for saying you wanted to marry a countess's daughter," +said another clerk. + +"I never heard such a scandal in my life," declared a third; "and then +to say that the girl wouldn't look at you." + +But not the less was it felt by all in the office that Johnny Eames was +becoming a leading man among them, and that he was one with whom each +of them would be pleased to be intimate. + +And even among the grandees this affair of the railway station did him +no real harm. It was known that Crosbie had deserved to be thrashed +and known that Eames had thrashed him. It was all very well for Sir +Raffle Buffle to talk of police magistrates and misdemeanours, but all +the world at the Income Tax Office knew very well that Eames had come +out from that affair with his head upright and his right foot foremost. + +"Never mind about the newspaper," a thoughtful old senior clerk said to +him. "As he did get the licking and you didn't, you can afford to laugh +at the newspaper." + +"And you wouldn't write to the editor?" + +"No, no; certainly not. No, one thinks of defending himself to a +newspaper except an ass--unless it be some fellow who wants to have his +name puffed. You may write what's as true as the gospel, but they'll +know how to make fun of it." + +Johnny, therefore, gave up his idea of an indignant letter to the +editor but he felt that he was bound to give some explanation of the +whole matter to Lord de Guest. The affair had happened as he was coming +from the earl's house, and all his own concerns had now been made so +much a matter of interest to his kind friend, that he thought that he +could not with propriety leave the earl to learn from the newspapers +either the facts or the falsehoods. And, therefore, before he left his +office he wrote the following letter:-- + +INCOME-tax OFFICE, December 29, 186-. + +MY LORD-- + +He thought a good deal about the style in which he ought to address the +peer, never having hitherto written to him. He began, + +"My dear Lord," on one sheet of paper, and then put it aside, thinking +that it looked over-bold. + +MY LORD--As you have been so very kind to me, I feel that I ought to +tell you what happened the other morning at the railway station, as I +was coming back from Guestwick. That scoundrel Crosbie got into the +same carriage with me at the Barchester Junction, and sat opposite to +me all the way up to London. I did not speak a word to him, or he to +me; but when he got out at the Paddington Station, I thought I ought +not to let him go away, so I--I can't say that I thrashed him as I +wished to do but I made an attempt, and I did give him a black eye. A +whole quantity of policemen got round us, and I hadn't a fair chance. I +know you will think that I was wrong, and perhaps I was; but what could +I do when he sat opposite to me there for two hours, looking as though +he thought himself the finest fellow in all London? + +They've put a horrible paragraph into one of the newspapers saying that +I got so "flogged" that I haven't been able to stir since. It is an +atrocious falsehood, as is all the rest of the newspaper account. I was +not touched. He was not nearly so bad a customer as the bull and seemed +to take it all very quietly. I must acknowledge, though, that he didn't +get such a beating as he deserved. + +Your friend Sir R. B. sent for me this morning, and told me I was a +felon. I didn't seem to care much for that, for he might as well have +called me a murderer or a burglar, but I shall care very much indeed if +I have made you angry with me. But what I most fear is the anger of +some one else--at Allington. + +Believe me to be, my Lord, + +Yours very much obliged and most sincerely, + +JOHN EAMES. + +"I knew he'd do it if ever he got the opportunity," said the earl when +he had read his letter; and he walked about his room striking his hands +together, and then thrusting his thumbs into his waistcoat-pockets. "I +knew he was made of the right stuff" and the earl rejoiced greatly in +the prowess of his favourite. "I'd have done it myself if I'd seen him. +I do believe I would." Then he went back to the breakfast-room and told +Lady Julia. + +"What do you think?" said he; "Johnny Eames has come across Crosbie, +and given him a desperate beating." + +"No!" said Lady Julia, putting down newspaper and spectacles, and +expressing by the light of her eyes anything but Christian horror at +the wickedness of the deed. + +"'But he has though. I knew he would if he saw him." + +"Beaten him! Actually beaten him!" + +"Sent him home to Lady Alexandrina with two black eyes." + +"Two black eyes! What a young pickle! But did he get hurt himself?" + +"Not a scratch he says." + +"And what'll they do to him?" + +"Nothing. Crosbie won't be fool enough to do anything. A man becomes an +outlaw when he plays such a game as he has played. Anybody's hand may +be raised against him with impunity. He can't show his face, you +know. He can't come forward and answer questions as to what he has +done. There are offences which the law can't touch but which outrage +public feeling so strongly that any one may take upon himself the +duty of punishing them. He has been thrashed, and that will stick to +him till he dies." + +"Do tell Johnny from me that I hope he didn't get hurt," said Lady +Julia. The old lady could not absolutely congratulate him on his feat +of arms, but she did the next thing to it. + +But the earl did congratulate him with a full open assurance of his +approval. + +"I hope," he said "I should have done the same at your age, under +similar circumstances, and I'm very glad that he proved less difficult +than the bull. I'm quite sure you didn't want any one to help you with +Master Crosbie. As for that other person at Allington, if I understand +such matters at all, I think she will forgive you." It may, however, be +a question whether the earl did understand such matters at all. And +then he added in a postscript: + +"When you write to me again--and don't be long first, begin your letter +'My dear Lord De Guest'--that is the proper way." + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII + +AN OLD MAN'S COMPLAINT + +"Have you been thinking again of what I was saying to you, Bell?" +Bernard said to his cousin one morning. + +"Thinking of it, Bernard? Why should I think more of, it? I had hoped +that you had forgotten it yourself." + +"No," he said; "I am not so easy-hearted as that. I cannot look on such +a thing as I would the purchase of a horse, which I could give up +without sorrow if I found that the animal was too costly for my purse. +I did not tell you that I loved you till I was sure of myself, and +having made myself sure I cannot change at all." + +"And yet you would have me change." + +"Yes, of course I would. If your heart be free now, it must of course +be changed before you come to love any man. Such change as that is to +be looked for. But when you have loved, then it will not be easy to +change you." + +"But I have not." + +"Then I have a right to hope. I have been hanging on here, Bell, longer +than I ought to have done, because, I could not bring myself to leave +you without speaking of this again. I did not wish to seem to you to be +importunate." + +"If you could only believe me in what I say." + +"It is not that I do not believe. I am not a puppy or a fool to flatter +myself that you must be in love with me. I believe you well enough. But +still it is possible that your mind may alter." + +"It is impossible." + +"I do not know whether my uncle or your mother have spoken to you about +this." + +"Such speaking would have no effect." + +In fact her mother had spoken to: her, but she truly said that such +speaking would have no effect. If her cousin could not win the battle +by his own skill, he might have been quite sure, looking at her +character as it was known to him, that he would not be able to win it +by the skill of others. + +"We have all been made very unhappy," he went on to say, by this +calamity which has fallen on poor Lily. + +"And because she has been deceived by the man she did love, I am to +make matters square by marrying a man I--" and then she paused. + +"Dear Bernard, you should not drive me to say words which will sound +harsh to you." + +"No words can be harsher than those which you have already spoken. But +Bell, at any rate, you may listen to me." + +Then he told her how desirable it was with reference to all the +concerns of the Dale family that she should endeavour to look +favourably on his proposition. It would be good for them all, he said, +especially for Lily, as to whom at the present moment their uncle felt +so kindly. He, as Bernard pleaded, was so anxious at heart for this +marriage, that he would do anything that was asked of him if he were +gratified. But if he were not gratified in this he would feel that he +had ground for displeasure. + +Bell, as she had been desired to listen, did listen very patiently. But +when her cousin had finished, her answer was very short. + +"Nothing that my uncle can say, or think, or do can make any difference +in this" said she. + +"You will think nothing, then, of the happiness of others." + +"I would not marry a man I did not love, to ensure any amount of +happiness to others--at least I know I ought not to do so. But I do not +believe I should ensure any one's happiness by this marriage. Certainly +not yours." + +After this Bernard had acknowledged to himself that the difficulties in +his way were great. + +"I will go away till next autumn," he said to his uncle. "If you would +give up your profession and remain here, she would not be so perverse." + +"I cannot do that, sir. I cannot risk the well-being of my life on such +a chance." Then his uncle had been angry with him as well as with his +niece. In his anger he determined that he would go again to his +sister-in-law, and, after some unreasonable fashion he resolved that it +would become him to be very angry with her also, if she declined to +assist him with all her influence as a mother. + +"Why should they not both marry?" he said to himself. Lord de Guest's +offer as to young Eames had been very generous. + +As he had then declared, he had not been able to express his own +opinion at once; but on thinking over what the earl had said, he had +found himself very willing to heal the family wound in the manner +proposed if any such healing might be possible. That however could not +be done quite as yet. When the time should come, and he thought it +might come soon--perhaps in the spring, when the days should be fine and +the evenings again long--he would be willing to take his share with the +earl in establishing that new household. To Crosbie he had refused to +give anything, and there was upon his conscience a shade of remorse in +that he had so refused. But if Lily could be brought to love this other +man, he would be more open-handed. She should have her share as though +she was in fact his daughter. But then, if he intended to do so much +for them at the Small House should not they in return do something also +for him? So thinking, he went again to his sister-in-law determined to +explain his views, even though it might be at the risk of some hard +words between them. As regarded himself, he did not much care for hard +words spoken to him. He almost expected that people's words should be +hard and painful. He did not look for the comfort of affectionate soft +greetings, and perhaps would not have appreciated them had they come to +him. He caught Mrs Dale walking in the garden, and brought her into his +own room, feeling that he had a better chance there than in her own +house. She with an old dislike to being lectured in that room had +endeavoured to avoid the interview but had failed. + +"So I met John Eames at the manor," he had said to her in the garden. + +"Ah, yes; and how did he get on there? I cannot conceive poor Johnny +keeping holiday with the earl and his sister. How did he behave to +them, and how did they behave to him?" + +"I can assure you he was very much at home there." + +"Was he, indeed? Well, I hope it will do him good. He is, I'm sure a +very good young man; only rather awkward." + +"I didn't think him awkward at all. You'll find, Mary, that he'll do +very well-a great deal better than his father did." + +"I'm sure I hope he may." After that Mrs Dale made her attempt to +escape; but the squire had taken her prisoner, and led her captive into +the house. + +"Mary," he said, as soon as he had induced her to sit down, it is time +that this should be settled between my nephew and niece." + +"I am afraid there will be nothing to settle." + +"What do you mean--that you disapprove of it?" + +"By no means--personally. I should approve of it very strongly. But that +has nothing to do with the question." + +"Yes, it has. I beg your pardon, but it must have, and should have a +great deal to do with it. Of course, I am not saying that anybody +should now ever be compelled to marry anybody." + +"I hope not." + +"I never said that they ought, and never thought so, But I do think +that the wishes of all her family should have very great weight with a +girl that has been well brought up." + +"I don't know whether Bell has been well brought up; but in such a +matter as this nobody's wishes would weigh a leather with her; and, +indeed, I could not take upon myself even to express a wish. To you I +can say that I should have been very happy if she could have regarded +her cousin as you wish her to do." + +"You mean that you are afraid to tell her so?" + +"I am afraid to do what I think is wrong, if you mean that." + +"I don't think it would be wrong, and therefore I shall speak to her +myself." + +"You must do as you like about that, Mr Dale; I can't prevent you. I +shall think you wrong to harass her on such a matter, and I fear also +that her answer will not be satisfactory to you. If you choose to tell +her your opinion, you must do so. Of course I shall think you wrong, +that's all." + +Mrs Dale's voice as she said this was stern enough, and so was her +countenance. She could not forbid the uncle to speak his mind to his +niece, but she specially disliked the idea of any interference with her +daughter. The squire got up and walked about the room, trying to +compose himself that he might answer her rationally, but without anger. + +"May I go now?" said Mrs Dale. + +"May you go? Of course you may go if you like it. If you think that I +am intruding upon you in speaking to you of the welfare of your two +girls, whom I endeavour to regard as my own daughters--except in this, +that I know they have never been taught to love me--if you think that it +is an interference on my part to show anxiety for their welfare, of +course you may go." + +"I did not mean to say anything to hurt you, Mr Dale." + +"Hurt me! What does it signify whether I am hurt or not? I have no +children of my own, and of course my only business in life is to +provide for my nephews and nieces. I am an old fool if I expect that +they are to love me in return, and if I venture to express a wish I am +interfering and doing wrong I It is hard--very hard. I know well that +they have been brought up to dislike me, and yet I am endeavouring to +do my duty by them." + +"Mr Dale, that accusation has not been deserved. They have not been +brought up to dislike you. I believe that they have both loved and +respected you as their uncle; but such love and respect will not give +you a right to dispose of their hands." + +"Who wants to dispose of their hands?" + +"There are some things in which I think no uncle--no parent--should +interfere, and of all such things this is the chief. If after that you +may choose to tell her your wishes, of course you can do so." + +"It will not be much good after you have set her against me." + +"Mr Dale, you have no right to say such things to me, and you are very +unjust in doing so. If you think that I have set my girls against you, +it will be much better that we should leave Allington altogether. I +have been placed in circumstances which have made it difficult for me +to do my duty to my children; but I have endeavoured to do it, not +regarding my own personal wishes. I am quite sure, however, that it +would be wrong in me to keep them here, if I am to be told by you that +I have taught them to regard you unfavourably. Indeed, I cannot suffer +such a thing to be said to me." + +All this Mrs Dale said with an air of decision, and with a voice +expressing a sense of injury received, which made the squire feel that +she was very much in earnest. + +"Is it not true," he said, defending himself, "that in all that relates +to the girls you have ever regarded me with suspicion?" + +"No, it is not true." And then she corrected herself, feeling that +there was something of truth in the squire's last assertion. + +"Certainly not with suspicion," she said. + +"But as this matter has gone so far, I will explain what my real +feelings have, been. In worldly matters you can do much for my girls, +and have done much." + +"And wish to do more," said the squire. + +"I am sure you do. But I cannot on that account give up my place as +their only living parent. They are my children, and not yours. And even +could I bring myself to allow you to act as their guardian and natural +protector, they would not consent to such an arrangement. You cannot +call that suspicion." + +"I can call it jealousy." + +"And should not a mother be jealous of her children's love?" + +During all this time the squire was walking up and down the room with +his hands in his trousers pockets. And when Mrs Dale had last spoken, +he continued his walk for some time in silence. + +"Perhaps it is well that you should have spoken out," he said. + +"The manner in which you accused me made it necessary." + +"I did not intend to accuse you, and I do not do so now; but I think +that you have been, and that you are, very hard on me--very hard indeed. +I have endeavoured to make your children, and yourself also, sharers +with me in such prosperity as has been mine. I have striven to add to +your comfort and to their happiness. I am most anxious to secure their +future welfare. You would have been very wrong had you declined to +accept this on their behalf; but I think that in return for it you need +not have begrudged me the affection and obedience which generally +follows from such good offices." + +"Mr Dale, I have begrudged you nothing of this." + +"I am hurt--I am hurt," he continued. And she was surprised by his look +of pain even more than by the unaccustomed warmth of his words. + +"What you have said has, I have known, been the case all along. But +though I had felt it to be so, I own that I am hurt by your open words." + +"Because I have said that my own children must ever be my own?" + +"Ah, you have said more than that. You and the girls have been living +here, close to me, for--how many years is it now?--and during all those +years there has grown up for me no kindly feeling. Do you think that I +cannot hear, and see, and feel? Do you suppose that I am a fool and do +not know? As for yourself you would never enter this house if you did +not feel yourself constrained to do so for the sake of appearances. I +suppose it is all as it should be. Having no children of my own, I owe +the duty of a parent to my nieces; but I have no right to expect from +them in return either love, regard, or obedience. I know I am keeping +you here against your will, Mary. I won't do so any longer." And he +made a sign to her that she was to depart. + +As she rose from her seat her heart was softened towards him. In these +latter days he had shown much kindness to the girls--a kindness that was +more akin to the gentleness of love than had ever come from him before. +Lily's fate had seemed to melt even his sternness, and he had striven +to be tender in his words and ways. And now he spoke as though he had +loved the girls, and had loved them in vain. Doubtless he had been a +disagreeable neighbour to his sister-in-law, making her feel that it +was never for her personally that he had opened his hand. Doubtless he +had been moved by an unconscious desire to undermine and take upon +himself her authority with her own children. Doubtless he had looked +askance at her from the first day of her marriage with his brother. She +had been keenly alive to all this since she had first known him, and +more keenly alive to it than ever since the failure of those efforts +she had made to live with him on terms of affection, made during the +first year or two of her residence at the Small House. But, +nevertheless, in spite of all, her heart bled for him now. She had +gained her victory over him, having fully held her own position with +her children; but now, that he complained that he had been beaten in +the struggle, her heart bled for him. + +"My brother," she said, and as she spoke she offered him her hands, "it +may be that we have not thought as kindly of each other as we should +have done." + +"I have endeavoured," said the old man. "I have endeavoured--". And then +he stopped, either hindered by some excess of emotion, or unable to +find the words which were necessary for the expression of his meaning. + +"Let us endeavour once again--both of us." + +"What, begin again at near seventy! No, Mary, there is no more +beginning again for me. All this shall make no difference to the girls. +As long as I am here they shall have the house. If they marry, I will +do for them what I can. I believe Bernard is much in earnest in his +suit, and if Bell will listen to him, she shall still be welcomed here +as mistress of Allington. What you have said shall make no +difference--but as to beginning again, it is simply impossible." + +After that Mrs Dale walked home through the garden by herself. He had +studiously told her that that house in which they lived should be lent, +not to her, but to her children, during his lifetime. He had positively +declined the offer of her warmer regard. He had made her understand +that they were to look on each other almost as enemies; but that she, +enemy as she was, should still be allowed the use of his munificence, +because he chose to do his duty by his nieces! + +"It will be better for us that we shall leave it," she said to herself +as she seated herself in her own arm-chair over the drawing-room fire. + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII + +DOCTOR CROFTS IS CALLED IN + +Mrs Dale had not sat long in her drawing-room before tidings were +brought to her which for a while drew her mind away from that question +of her removal. + +"Mamma," said Bell, entering the room, "I really do believe that Jane +has got scarlatina." Jane, the parlour-maid, had been ailing for the +last two days, but nothing serious had hitherto been suspected. + +Mrs Dale instantly jumped up. "Who is with her?" she asked. + +It appeared from Bell's answer that both she and Lily had been with the +girl, and that Lily was still in the room. Whereupon Mrs Dale ran +upstairs, and there was on the sudden a commotion in the house. In an +hour or so the village doctor was there, and he expressed an opinion +that the girl's ailment was certainly scarlatina. Mrs Dale, not +satisfied with this, sent off a boy to Guestwick for Dr Crofts, having +herself maintained an opposition of many years' standing, against the +medical reputation of the apothecary, and gave a positive order to the +two girls not to visit poor Jane again. She herself had had scarlatina, +and might do as she pleased. Then, too, a nurse was hired. + +All this changed for a few hours the current of Mrs Dale's thoughts: +but in the evening she went back to the subject of her morning +conversation, and before the three ladies went to bed, they held +together an open council of war upon the subject. Dr Crofts had been +found to be away from Guestwick, and word had been sent on his behalf +that he would be over at Allington early on the following morning. Mrs +Dale had almost made up her mind that the malady of her favourite maid +was not scarlatina, but had not on that account relaxed her order as to +the absence of her daughters from the maid's bedside. + +"Let us go at once," said Bell, who was even more opposed to any +domination on the part of her uncle than was her mother. In the +discussion which had been taking place between them the whole matter of +Bernard's courtship had come upon the carpet. Bell had kept her +cousin's offer to herself as long as she had been able to do so; but +since her uncle had pressed the subject upon Mrs Dale, it was +impossible for Bell to remain silent any longer. + +"You do not want me to marry him, mamma; do you?" she had said, when +her mother had spoken with some show of kindness towards Bernard. In +answer to this, Mrs Dale had protested vehemently that she had no such +wish, and Lily, who still held to her belief in Dr Crofts, was almost +equally animated. To them all, the idea that their uncle should in any +way interfere in their own views of life, on the strength of the +pecuniary assistance which they had received from him, was peculiarly +distasteful. But it was especially distasteful that he should presume +to have even an opinion as to their disposition in marriage. They +declared to each other that their uncle could have no right to object +to any marriage which either of them might contemplate as long as their +mother should approve of it. The poor old squire had been right in +saying that he was regarded with suspicion. He was so regarded. The +fault had certainly been his own, in having endeavoured to win the +daughters without thinking it worth his while to win the mother. The +girls had unconsciously felt that the attempt was made, and had +vigorously rebelled against it. It had not been their fault that they +had been brought to live in their uncle's house, and made to ride on +his ponies, and to eat partially of his bread. They had so eaten, and +so lived, and declared themselves to be grateful. The squire was good +in his way, and they recognised his goodness; but not on that account +would they transfer to him one jot of the allegiance which as children +they owed to their mother. When she told them her tale, explaining to +them the words which their uncle had spoken that morning, they +expressed their regret that he should be so grieved; but they were +strong in assurances to their mother that she had been sinned against, +and was not sinning. + +"Let us go at once," said Bell. + +"It is much easier said than done, my dear." + +"Of course it is, mamma; else we shouldn't be here now. What I mean is +this--let us take some necessary first step at once. It is clear that my +uncle thinks that our remaining here should give him some right over +us. I do not say that he is wrong to think so. Perhaps it is natural. +Perhaps, in accepting his kindness, we ought to submit ourselves to +him. If that be so, it is a conclusive reason for our going." + +"Could we not pay him rent for the house," said Lily, "as Mrs Hearn +does? You would like to remain here, mamma, if you could do that?" + +"But we could not do that, Lily. We must choose for ourselves a smaller +house than this, and one that is not burdened with the expense of a +garden. Even if we paid but a moderate rent for this place, we should +not have the means of living here." + +"Not if we lived on toast and tea?" said Lily, laughing. + +"But I should hardly wish you to live upon toast and tea and indeed I +fancy that I should get tired of such a diet myself." + +"Never, mamma," said Lily. "As for me, I confess to a longing after +mutton chops; but I don't think you would ever want such vulgar things." + +"At any rate, it would be impossible to remain here," said Bell. + +"Uncle Christopher would not take rent from mamma; and even if he did, +we should not know how to go on with our other arrangements after such +a change. No; we must give up the dear old Small House." + +"It is a dear old house," said Lily, thinking, as she spoke, more of +those late scenes in the garden, when Crosbie had been with them in the +autumn months, than of any of the former joys of her childhood. + +"After all, I do not know that I should be right to move," said Mrs +Dale, doubtingly. + +"Yes, yes," said both the girls at once. + +"Of course you will be right, mamma; there cannot be a doubt about it, +mamma. If we can get any cottage, or even lodgings, that would be +better than remaining here, now that we know what Uncle Christopher +thinks of it." + +"It will make him very unhappy," said Mrs Dale. + +But even this argument did not in the least move the girls. They were +very sorry that their uncle should be unhappy. They would endeavour to +show him by some increased show of affection that their feelings +towards him were not unkind. Should he speak to them they would +endeavour to explain to him that their thoughts towards him were +altogether affectionate. But they could not remain at Allington +increasing their load of gratitude, seeing that he expected a certain +payment which they did not feel themselves able to render. + +"We should be robbing him, if we stayed here," Bell declared--"wilfully +robbing him of what he believes to be his just share of the bargain." + +So it was settled among them that notice should be given to their uncle +of their intention to quit the Small House of Allington. + +And then came the question as to their new home. Mrs Dale was aware +that her income was at any rate better than that possessed by Mrs +Eames, and therefore she had fair ground for presuming that she could +afford to keep a house at Guestwick. + +"If we do go away, that is what we must do," she said. + +"And we shall have to walk out with Mary Eames, instead of Susan +Boyce," said Lily. + +"It won't make so much difference after all." + +"In that respect we shall gain as much as we lose," said Bell. + +"And then it will be so nice to have the shops," said Lily, ironically. + +"Only we shall never have any money to buy anything," said Bell. + +"But we shall see more of the world," said Lily. + +"Lady Julia's carriage comes into town twice a week, and the Miss +Gruffens drive about in great style. Upon the whole, we shall gain a +great deal; only for the poor old garden. Mamma, I do think I shall +break my heart at parting with Hopkins; and as to him, I shall be +disappointed in mankind if he ever holds his head up again after I am +gone." + +But in truth there was very much of sadness in their resolution, and to +Mrs Dale it seemed as though she were managing matters badly for her +daughters and allowing poverty and misfortune to come upon them through +her own fault. She well knew how great a load of sorrow was lying on +Lily's heart, hidden beneath those little attempts at pleasantry which +she made. When she spoke of being disappointed in mankind, Mrs Dale +could hardly repress an outward shudder that would betray her thoughts. +And now she was consenting to take them forth from their comfortable +home, from the luxury of their lawns and gardens, and to bring them to +some small dingy corner of a provincial town--because she had failed to +make herself happy with her brother-in-law. Could she be right to give +up all the advantages which they enjoyed at Allington--advantages which +had come to them from so legitimate a source--because her own feelings +had been wounded? In all their future want of comfort, in the +comfortless dowdiness of the new home to which she would remove them, +would she not always blame herself for having brought them to that by +her own false pride? And yet it seemed to her that she now had no +alternative. She could not now teach her daughters to obey their +uncle's wishes in all things. She could not make Bell understand that +it would be well that she should marry Bernard because the squire had +set his heart on such a 'marriage. She had gone so far that she could +not now go back. + +"I suppose we must move at Lady-day?" said Bell, who was in favour of +instant action. + +"If so, had you not better let Uncle Christopher know at once?" + +"I don't think that we can find a house by that time." + +"We can get in somewhere," continued Bell. + +"There are plenty of lodgings in Guestwick, you know." But the sound of +the word lodgings was uncomfortable in Mrs Dale's ears. + +"If we are to go, let us go at once," said Lily. + +"We need not stand much upon the order of our going." + +"Your uncle will be very much shocked," said Mrs Dale. + +"He cannot say that it is your fault," said Bell. + +It was thus agreed between them that the necessary information should +be at once given to the squire, and that the old, well-loved house +should be left for ever. It would be a great fall in a worldly point of +view--from the Allington Small House to an abode in some little street +of Guestwick. At Allington they had been county people--raised to a +level with their own squire and other squires by the circumstance of +their residence; but at Guestwick they would be small even among the +people of the town. They would be on an equality with the Eames'es, and +much looked down upon by the Gruffens. They would hardly dare to call +any more at Guestwick Manor, seeing that they certainly could not +expect Lady Julia to call upon them at Guestwick. Mrs Boyce no doubt +would patronise them, and they could already anticipate the condolence +which would be offered to them by Mrs Hearn. Indeed such a movement on +their part would be tantamount to a confession of failure in the full +hearing of so much of the world as was known to them. + +I must not allow my readers to suppose that these considerations were a +matter of indifference to any of the ladies at the Small House. To some +women of strong mind, of highly-strung philosophic tendencies, such +considerations might have been indifferent. But Mrs Dale was not of +this nature, nor were her daughters. The good things of the world were +good in their eyes, and they valued the privilege of a pleasant social +footing among their friends. They were by no means capable of a wise +contempt of the advantages which chance had hitherto given to them. +They could not go forth rejoicing in the comparative property of their +altered condition. But then, neither could they purchase those luxuries +which they were about to abandon at the price which was asked for them. + +"Had you not better write to my uncle?" said one of the girls. But to +this Mrs Dale objected that she could not make a letter on such a +subject clearly intelligible, and that therefore she would see the +squire on the following morning. + +"It will be very dreadful," she said, "but it will soon be over. It is +not what he will say at the moment that I fear so much, as the bitter +reproaches of his face when I shall meet him afterwards." So, on the +following morning, she again made her way, and now without invitation, +to the squire's study. + +"Mr Dale," she began, starting upon her work with some confusion in her +manner, and hurry in her speech, "I have been thinking over what we +were saying together yesterday, and I have come to a resolution which I +know I ought to make known to you without a moment's delay." + +The squire also had thought of what had passed between them, and had +suffered much as he had done so; but he had thought of it without +acerbity or anger. His thoughts were ever gentler than his words, and +his heart softer than any exponent of his heart that he was able to put +forth. He wished to love his brother's children, and to be loved by +them; but even failing that, he wished to do good to them. It had not +occurred to him to be angry with Mrs Dale after that interview was +over. The conversation had not gone pleasantly with him; but then he +hardly expected that things would go pleasantly. No idea had occurred +to him that evil could come upon any of the Dale ladies from the words +which had then been spoken. He regarded the Small House as their abode +and home as surely as the Great House was his own. In giving him his +due, it must be declared that any allusion to their holding these as a +benefit done to them by him had been very far from his thoughts. Mrs +Hearn, who held her cottage at half its real value, grumbled almost +daily at him as her landlord; but it never occurred to him that +therefore he should raise her rent, or that in not doing so he was +acting with special munificence. It had ever been to him a grumbling, +cross-grained, unpleasant world; and he did not expect from Mrs Hearn, +or from his sister-in-law, anything better than that to which he had +ever been used. + +"It will make me very happy," said he, "if it has any bearing on Bell's +marriage with her cousin." + +"Mr Dale, that is out of the question. I would not vex you by saying so +if I were not certain of it; but I know my child so well!" + +"Then we must leave it to time, Mary." + +"Yes, of course; but no time will suffice to make Bell change her mind. +We will, however, leave the subject. And now, Mr Dale, I have to tell +you of something else--we have resolved to leave the Small House." + +"Resolved on what?" said the squire, turning his eyes full upon her. + +"We have resolved to leave the Small House." + +"Leave the Small House!" he said, repeating her words; "and where on +earth do you mean to go?" + +"We think we shall go into Guestwick." + +"And why?" + +"Ah, that is so hard to explain. If you would only accept the fact as I +tell it to you, and not ask for the reasons which have guided me!" + +"But that is out of the question, Mary. In such a matter as that I must +ask your reasons; and I must tell you also that, in my opinion, you +will not be doing your duty to your daughters in carrying out such an +intention, unless your reasons are very strong indeed." + +"But they are very strong," said Mrs Dale; and then she paused. + +"I cannot understand it," said the squire. + +"I cannot bring myself to believe that you are really in earnest. Are +you not comfortable there?" + +"More comfortable than we have any right to be with our means." + +"But I thought you always did very nicely with your money. You never +get into debt." + +"No; I never get into debt. It is not that, exactly. The fact is, Mr +Dale, we have no right to live there without paying rent; but we could +not afford to live there if we did pay rent." + +"Who has talked about rent?" he said, jumping up from his chair. + +"Some one has been speaking falsehoods of me behind my back." No gleam +of the real truth had yet come to him. No idea had reached his mind +that his relatives thought it necessary to leave his house in +consequence of any word that he himself had spoken. He had never +considered himself to have been in any special way generous to them, +and would not have thought it reasonable that they should abandon the +house in which they had been living, even if his anger against them had +been strong and hot. + +"Mary," he said, "I must insist upon getting to the bottom of this. As +for your leaving the house, it is out of the question. Where can you be +better off, or so well? As to going into Guestwick, what sort of life +would there be for the girls? I put all that aside as out of the +question; but I must know what has induced you to make such a +proposition. Tell me honestly--has any one spoken evil of me behind my +back?" + +Mrs Dale had been prepared for opposition and for reproach; but there +was a decision about the squire's words, and an air of masterdom in his +manner, which made her recognise more fully than she had yet done the +difficulty of her position. She almost began to fear that she would +lack power to carry out her purpose. + +"Indeed, it is not so, Mr Dale." + +"Then what is it?" + +"I know that if I attempt to tell you, you will be vexed, and will +contradict me." + +"Vexed I shall be, probably." + +"And yet I cannot help it. Indeed, I am endeavouring to do what is +right by you and by the children." + +"Never mind me; your duty is to think of them." + +"Of course it is; and in doing this they most cordially agree with me." + +In using such argument as that, Mrs Dale showed her weakness, and the +squire was not slow to take advantage of it. + +"Your duty is to them," he said; "but I do not mean by that that your +duty is to let them act in any way that may best please them for the +moment. I can understand that they should be run away with by some +romantic nonsense, but I cannot understand it of you." + +"The truth is this, Mr Dale. You think that my children owe to you that +sort of obedience which is due to a parent, and as long as they remain +here, accepting from your hands so large a part of their daily support, +it is perhaps natural that you should think so. In this unhappy affair +about Bell--" + +"I have never said anything of the kind," said the squire, interrupting +her. + +"No; you have not said so. And I do not wish you to think that I make +any complaint. But I feel that it is so, and they feel it. And, +therefore, we have made up our minds to go away." + +Mrs Dale, as she finished, was aware that she had not told her story +well, but she had acknowledged to herself that it was quite out of her +power to tell it as it should be told. Her main object was to make her +brother-in-law understand that she certainly would leave his house, +and to make him understand this with as little pain to himself as +possible. She did not in the least mind his thinking her foolish, if +only she could so carry her point as to be able to tell her daughters +on her return that the matter was settled. But the squire, from his +words and manners, seemed indisposed to give her this privilege. + +"Of all the propositions which I ever heard," said he "it is the most +unreasonable. It amounts to this, that you are too proud to live +rent-free in a house which belongs to your husband's brother, and +therefore you intend to subject yourself and your children to the great +discomfort of a very straitened income. If you yourself only were +concerned I should have no right to say anything; but I think myself +bound to tell you that, as regards the girls, everybody that knows you +will think you to have been very wrong. It is in the natural course of +things that they should live in that house. The place has never been +let. As far as I know, no rent has ever been paid for the house since +it was built. It has always been given to some member of the family, +who has been considered as having the best right to it. I have +considered your footing there as firm as my own here. A quarrel between +me and your children would be to me a great calamity, though, perhaps, +they might be indifferent to it. But if there were such a quarrel it +would afford no reason for their leaving that house. Let me beg you to +think over the matter again." + +The squire could assume an air of authority on certain occasions, and +he had done so now. Mrs Dale found that she could only answer him by a +simple repetition of her own intention; and, indeed, failed in making +him any serviceable answer whatsoever. + +"I know that you are very good to my girls," she said. + +"I will say nothing about that," he answered; not thinking at that +moment of the Small House, but of the full possession which he had +desired to give to the elder of all the privileges which should belong +to the mistress of Allington--thinking also of the means by which he was +hoping to repair poor Lily's shattered fortunes. What words were +further said had no great significance, and Mrs Dale got herself away, +feeling that she had failed. As soon as she was gone the squire arose, +and putting on his great-coat, went forth with his hat and stick to the +front of the house. He went out in order that his thoughts might be +more free, and that he might indulge in that solace which an injured +man finds in contemplating his injury. He declared to himself that he +was very hardly used--so hardly used, that he almost began to doubt +himself, and his own motives. Why was it that the people around him +disliked him so strongly--avoided him and thwarted him in the efforts +which he made for their welfare? He offered to his nephew all the +privileges of a son--much more indeed 'than the privileges of a +son--merely asking in return that he would consent to live permanently +in the house which was to be his own. But his nephew refused. + +"He cannot bear to live with me," said the old man to himself sorely. +He was prepared to treat his nieces with more generosity than the +daughters of the House of Allington had usually received from their +fathers; and they repelled his kindness, running away from him, and +telling him openly that they would not be beholden to him. He walked +slowly up and down the terrace, thinking of this very bitterly. He did +not find in the contemplation of his grievance all that solace which a +grievance usually gives, because he accused himself in his thoughts +rather than others. He declared to himself that he was made to be +hated, and protested to himself that it would be well that he should +die and be buried out of memory, so that the remaining Dales might have +a better chance of living happily; and then as he thus discussed all +this within his own bosom, his thoughts were very tender, and though he +was aggrieved, he was most affectionate to those who had most injured +him. But it was absolutely beyond his power to reproduce outwardly, +with words and outward signs, such thoughts and feelings. + +It was now very nearly the end of the year, but the weather was still +soft and open. The air was damp rather than cold, and the lawns and +fields still retained the green tints of new vegetation. As the squire +was walking on the terrace Hopkins came up to him, and touching his +hat, remarked that they should have frost in a day or two. + +"I suppose we shall," said the squire. + +"We must have the mason to the flues of that little grape-house, sir, +before I can do any good with a fire there." + +"Which grape-house?" said the squire, crossly. + +"Why, the grape-house in the other garden, sir. It ought to have been +done last year by rights." This Hopkins said to punish his master for +being cross to him. On that matter of the flues of Mrs Dale's +grape-house he had, with much consideration, spared his master during +the last winter, and he felt that this ought to be remembered now. + +"I can't put any fire in it, not to do any real good, till something's +done. That's sure." + +"Then don't put any fire in it," said the squire. + +Now the grapes in question were supposed to be peculiarly fine, and +were the glory of the garden of the Small House. They were always +forced, though not forced so early as those at the Great House, and +Hopkins was in a state of great confusion. + +"They'll never ripen; sir; not the whole year through." +"Then let them be unripe," said the squire, walking about. + +Hopkins did not at all understand it. The squire in his natural course +was very unwilling to neglect any such matter as this, but would be +specially unwilling to neglect anything touching the Small House. So +Hopkins stood on the terrace, raising his hat and scratching his head. + +"There's something wrong amongst them," said he to himself, sorrowfully. + +But when the squire had walked to the end of the terrace and had turned +upon the path which led round the side of the house, he stopped and +called to Hopkins. + +"Have what is needful done to the flue," he said. + +"Yes, sir; very well, sir. It'll only be re-setting the bricks. Nothing +more ain't needful, just this winter." + +"Have the place put in perfect order while you're about it." said the +squire, and then he walked away. + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX + +DOCTOR CROFTS IS TURNED OUT + +"Have you heard the news, my dear, from the Small House?" said Mrs +Boyce to her husband, some two or three days after Mrs Dale's visit to +the squire. It was one o'clock, and the parish pastor had come in from +his ministrations to dine with his wife and children. + +"What news?" said Mr Boyce, for he had heard none. + +"Mrs Dale and the girls are going to leave the Small House; they're +going into Guestwick to live." + +"Mrs Dale going away; nonsense!" said the vicar. "What on earth should +take her into Guestwick? She doesn't pay a shilling of rent where she +is." + +"I can assure you it's true, my dear. I was with Mrs Hearn just now, +and she had it direct from Mrs Dale's own lips. Mrs Hearn said she'd +never been taken so much aback in her whole life. There's been some +quarrel, you may be sure of that." + +Mr Boyce sat silent, pulling off his dirty shoes preparatory to his +dinner. Tidings so important, as touching the social life of his +parish, had not come to him for many a day, and he could hardly bring +himself to credit them at so short a notice. + +"Mrs Hearn says that Mrs Dale spoke ever so firmly about it, as though +determined that nothing should change her." + +"And did she say why?" + +"Well, not exactly. But Mrs Hearn said she could understand there had +been words between her and the squire. It couldn't be anything else, +you know. Probably it had something to do with that man, Crosbie." + +"They'll be very pushed about money," said Mr Boyce, thrusting his feet +into his slippers. + +"That's just what I said to Mrs, Hearn. And those girls have never been +used to anything like real economy. What's to become of them I don't +know;" and Mrs Boyce, as she expressed her sympathy for her dear +friends, received considerable comfort from the prospect of their +future poverty. It always is so, and Mrs Boyce was not worse than her +neighbours. + +"You'll find they'll make it up before the time comes," said Mr Boyce, +to whom the excitement of such a change in affairs was almost too good +to be true. + +"I am afraid not," said Mrs Boyce; "I'm afraid not. They are both so +determined. I always thought that riding and giving the girls hats and +habits was injurious. It was treating them as though they were the +squire's daughters, and they were not the squire's daughters." + +"It was almost the same thing." + +"But now we see the difference," said the judicious Mrs Boyce. + +"I often said that dear Mrs Dale was wrong, and it turns out that I was +right. It will make no difference to me, as regards calling on them and +that sort of thing." + +"Of course it won't." + +"Not but what there must be a difference, and a very great difference +too. It will be a terrible come down for poor Lily, with the loss of +her fine husband and all." + +After dinner, when Mr Boyce had again gone forth upon his labours, the +same subject was discussed between Mrs Boyce and her daughters, and the +mother was very careful to teach her children that Mrs Dale would be +just as good a person as ever she had been, and quite as much a lady, +even though she should live in a very dingy house at Guestwick; from +which lesson the Boyce girls learned plainly that Mrs Dale, with Bell +and Lily, were about to have a fall in the world, and that they were to +be treated accordingly. + +From all this, it will be discovered that Mrs Dale had not given way +to the squire's arguments, although she had found herself unable to +answer them. As she had returned home she had felt herself to be almost +vanquished, and had spoken to the girls with the air and tone of a +woman who hardly knew in which course lay the line of her duty. But +they had not seen the squire's manner on the occasion, nor heard his +words, and they could not understand that their own purpose should be +abandoned because he did not like it. So they talked their mother into +fresh resolves, and on the following morning she wrote a note to her +brother-in-law, assuring him that she had thought much of all that he +had said, but again declaring that she regarded herself as bound in +duty to leave the Small House. To this he had returned no answer, and +she had communicated her intention to Mrs Hearn, thinking it better +that there should be no secret in the matter. + +"I am sorry to hear that your sister-in-law is going to leave us," Mr +Boyce said to the squire that same afternoon. + +"Who told you that?" asked the squire, showing by his tone that he by +no means liked the topic of conversation which the parson had chosen. + +"Well, I had it from Mrs Boyce, and I think Mrs Hearn told her." + +"I wish Mrs Hearn would mind her own business, and not spread idle +reports." + +The squire said nothing more, and Mr Boyce felt that he had been very +unjustly snubbed. + +Dr Crofts had come over and pronounced as a fact that it was +scarlatina. Village apothecaries are generally wronged by the doubts +which are thrown upon them, for the town doctors when they come always +confirm what the village apothecaries have said. + +"There can be no doubt as to its being scarlatina," the doctor +declared; "but the symptoms are all favourable." + +There was, however, much worse coming than this. Two days afterwards +Lily found herself to be rather unwell. She endeavoured to keep it to +herself, fearing that she should be brought under the doctor's notice +as a patient; but her efforts were unavailing, and on the following +morning it was known that she had also taken the disease. Dr Crofts +declared that everything was in her favour. The weather was cold. The +presence of the malady in the house had caused them all to be careful, +and, moreover, good advice was at hand at once. The doctor begged Mrs +Dale not to be uneasy, but he was very eager in begging that the two +sisters might not be allowed to be together. + +"Could you not send Bell, into Guestwick--to Mrs Eames's?" said he. But +Bell did not choose to be sent to Mrs Eames's, and was with great +difficulty kept out of her mother's bedroom, to which Lily as an +invalid was transferred. + +"If you will allow me to say so," he said to Bell, on the second day +after Lily's complaint had declared itself, "you are wrong to stay here +in the house." + +"I certainly shall not leave mamma, when she has got so much upon her +hands," said Bell. + +"But if you should be taken ill she would have more on her hands," +pleaded the doctor. + +"I could not do it," Bell replied. + +"If I were taken over to Guestwick, I should be so uneasy that I should +walk back to Allington the first moment that I could escape from the +house." + +"I think your mother would be more comfortable without you." + +"And I think she would be more comfortable with me. I don't ever like +to hear of a woman running away from illness; but when a sister or a +daughter does so, it is intolerable." So Bell remained, without +permission indeed to see her sister, but performing various outside +administrations which were much needed. + +And thus all manner of trouble came upon the inhabitants of the Small +House, falling upon them as it were in a heap together. It was as yet +barely two months since those terrible tidings had come respecting +Crosbie; tidings which, it was felt at the time, would of themselves be +sufficient to crush them; and now to that misfortune other misfortunes +had been added--one quick upon the heels of another. In the teeth of the +doctor's kind prophecy Lily became very ill, and after a few days was +delirious. She would talk to her mother about Crosbie, speaking of him +as she used to speak in the autumn that was passed. But even in her +madness she remembered that they had resolved to leave their present +home; and she asked the doctor twice whether their lodgings at +Guestwick were ready for them. + +It was thus that Crofts first heard of their intention. Now, in these +days of Lily's worst illness, he came daily over to Allington, +remaining there, on one occasion, the whole night. For all this he +would take no fee--nor had he ever taken a fee from Mrs Dale. + +"I wish you would not come so often," Bell said to him one evening, as +he stood with her at the drawing-room fire, after he had left the +patient's room; "you are overloading us with obligations." On that day +Lily was over the worst of the fever, and he had been able to tell Mrs +Dale that he did not think that she was now in danger. + +"It will not be necessary much longer," he said; "the worst of it is +over." + +"It is such a luxury to hear you say so. I suppose we shall owe her +life to you; but nevertheless--" + +"Oh, no; scarlatina is not such a terrible thing now as it used to be." + +"Then why should you have devoted your time to her as you have done? It +frightens me when I think of the injury we must have done you." + +"My horse has felt it more than I have," said the doctor, laughing. + +"My patients at Guestwick are not so very numerous." Then, instead of +going, he sat himself down. + +"And it is really true," he said, "that you are all going to leave this +house?" + +"Quite true. We shall do so at the end of March, if Lily is well enough +to be moved." + +"Lily will be well long before that, I hope; not, indeed, that she +ought to be moved out of her own rooms for many weeks to come yet." + +"Unless we are stopped by her we shall certainly go at the end of +March." Bell now had also sat down, and they both remained for some +time looking at the fire in silence. + +"And why is it, Bell?" he said, at last. + +"But I don't know whether I have a right to ask." + +"You have a right to ask any question about us," she said + +"My uncle is very kind. He is more than kind; he is generous. But he +seems to think that our living here gives him a right to interfere with +mamma. We don't like that, and, therefore, we are going." + +The doctor still sat on one side of the fire, and Bell still sat +opposite to him; but the conversation did not form itself very freely +between them. + +"It is bad news," he said, at last. + +"At any rate, when we are ill you will not have so far to come and see +us." + +"Yes, I understand. That means that I am ungracious not to congratulate +myself on having you all so much nearer to me; but I do not in the +least. I cannot bear to think of you as living anywhere but here at +Allington. Dales will be out of their place in a street at Guestwick." + +"That's hard upon the Dales, too." + +"It is hard upon them. It's a sort of offshoot from that very +tyrannical law of noblesse oblige. I don't think you ought to go away +from Allington, unless the circumstances are very imperative." + +"But they are very imperative." +"In that case, indeed!" And then again he fell into silence. + +"Have you never seen that mamma is not happy here?" she said, after +another pause. + +"For myself, I never quite understood it all before as I do now; but +now I see it." + +"And I have seen it--have seen at least what you mean. She has led a +life of restraint; but then, how frequently is such restraint the +necessity of a life? I hardly think that your mother would move on that +account." + +"No. It is on our account. But this restraint, as you call it, makes us +unhappy, and she is governed by seeing that. My uncle is generous to +her as regards money; but in other things--in matters of feeling--I think +he has been ungenerous." + +"Bell," said the doctor; and then he paused. + +She looked up at him, but made no answer. He had always called her by +her Christian name, and they two had ever regarded each other as close +friends. At the present moment she had forgotten all else besides this, +and yet she had infinite pleasure in sitting there and talking to him. + +"I am going to ask you a question which perhaps I ought not to ask, +only that I have known you so long that I almost feel that I am +speaking to a sister." + +"You may ask me what you please," said she. + +"It is about your cousin Bernard." + +"About Bernard!" said Bell. + +It was now dusk; and as they were sitting without other light than that +of the fire, she knew that he could not discern the colour which +covered her face as her cousin's name was mentioned. But, had the light +of day pervaded the whole room, I doubt whether Crofts would have seen +that blush, for he kept his eyes firmly fixed upon the fire. + +"Yes, about Bernard? I don't know whether I ought to ask you." + +"I'm sure I can't say," said Bell; speaking word of the nature of which +she was not conscious. + +"There has been a rumour in Guestwick that he and you--" + +"It is untrue," said Bell; "quite untrue. If you hear it repeated, you +should contradict it. I wonder why people should say such things." + +"It would have been an excellent marriage--all your friends must have +approved it." + +"What do you mean, Dr Crofts? How I do hate those words, 'an excellent +marriage'. In them is contained more of wicked worldliness than any +other words that one ever hears spoken. You want me to marry my cousin +simply because I should have a great house to live in, and a coach. I +know that you are my friend, but I hate such friendship as that." + +"I think you misunderstand me, Bell. I mean that it would have been an +excellent marriage, provided you had both loved each other." + +"No, I don't misunderstand you. Of course it would be an excellent +marriage, if we loved each other. You might say the same if I loved the +butcher or the baker. What you mean is, that it makes a reason for +loving him." + +"I don't think I did mean that." + +"Then you mean nothing." + +After that, there were again some minutes of silence during which Dr +Crofts got up to go away. + +"You have scolded me very dreadfully," he said, with a slight smile, +"and I believe I have deserved it for interfering." + +"No; not at all for interfering." + +"But at any rate you must forgive me before I go." + +"I won't forgive you at all, unless you repent of your sins, and alter +altogether the wickedness of your mind. You will become very soon as +bad as Dr Gruffen." + +"Shall I?" + +"Oh, but I will forgive you; for after all, you are the most generous +man in the world." + +"Oh, yes; of course I am. well-good-bye." + +"But, Dr Crofts, you should not suppose others to be so much more +worldly than yourself. You do not care for money so very much--" + +"But I do care very much." + +"If you did, you would not come here for nothing day after day." + +"I do care for money very much. I have sometimes nearly broken my heart +because I could not get opportunities of earning it. It is the best +friend that a man can have--" + +"Oh, Dr Crofts!" + +"--the best friend that a man can have; if it be honestly come by. A +woman can hardly realise the sorrow which may fall upon a man from the +want of such a friend." + +"Of course a man likes to earn a decent living by his profession; and +you can do that." + +"That depends upon one's ideas of decency." + +"Ah! mine never ran very high. I've always had a sort of aptitude for +living in a pigsty;--a clean pigsty, you know, with nice fresh bean +straw to lie upon. I think it was a mistake when they made a lady of +me. I do, indeed." + +"I do not," said Dr Crofts. + +"That because you don't quite know me yet. I've not the slightest +pleasure in putting on three different dresses a day. I do it very +often because it comes to me to do it, from the way in which we have +been taught to live. But when we get to Guestwick I mean to change all +that; and if you come in to tea, you'll see me in the same brown frock +that I wear in the morning--unless, indeed, the morning work makes the +brown frock dirty. Oh, Dr Crofts! you'll have it pitch-dark riding home +under the Guestwick elms." + +"I don't mind the dark," he said; and it seemed as though he hardly +intended to go even yet. + +"But I do," said Bell, + +"And I shall ring for candles." But he stopped her as she put her hand +out to the bell-pull. + +"Stop a moment, Bell. You need hardly have the candles before I go, and +you need not begrudge my staying either, seeing that I shall be all +alone at home." + +"Begrudge your staying!" + +"But, however, you shall begrudge it, or else make me very welcome." He +still held her by the wrist, which he had caught as he prevented her +from summoning the servant. + +"What do you mean?" said she.. + +"You know you are welcome to us as flowers in May. You always were +welcome; but now, when you have come to us in our trouble. At any rate, +you shall never say that I turn you out." + +"Shall I never say so?" And still he held her by the wrist. He had +kept his chair throughout, but she was standing before him--between him +and the fire. But she, though he held her in this way, thought little +of his words, or of his action. They had known each other with great +intimacy, and though Lily would still laugh at her, saying that Dr +Crofts was her lover, she had long since taught herself that no such +feeling as that would ever exist between them. + +"Shall I never say so, Bell? What if so poor a man as I ask for the +hand that you will not give to so rich a man as your cousin Bernard?" + +She instantly withdrew her arm and moved back very quickly a step or +two across the rug. She did it almost with the motion which she might +have used had he insulted her; or had a man spoken such words who would +not, under any circumstances, have a right to speak them. + +"Ah, yes! I thought it would be so," he said. "I may go now, and may +know that I have been turned out." + +"What is it you mean, Dr Crofts? What is it you are saying? Why do you +talk that nonsense, trying to see if you can provoke me?" +"Yes; it is nonsense. I have no right to address you in that way, and +certainly should not have done it now that I am in your house in the +way of my profession. I beg your pardon." Now he also was standing, but +he had not moved from his side of the fireplace. + +"Are you going to forgive me before I go? + +"Forgive you for what?" said she. + +"For daring to love you; for having loved you almost as long as you can +remember; for loving you better than all beside. This alone you should +forgive; but will you forgive me for having told it?" + +He had made her no offer, nor did she expect that he was about to make +one. She herself had hardly yet realised the meaning of his words, and +she certainly had asked herself no question as to the answer which she +should give to them. There are cases in which lovers present themselves +in so unmistakable a guise, that the first word of open love uttered by +them tells their whole story, and tells it without the possibility of a +surprise. And it is generally so when the lover has not been an old +friend, when even his acquaintance has been of modern date. It had been +so essentially in the case of Crosbie and Lily Dale. When Crosbie came +to Lily and made his offer, he did it with perfect ease and thorough +self-possession, for he almost knew that it was expected. And Lily, +though she had been flurried for a moment, had her answer pat enough. +She already loved the man with all her heart, delighted in his +presence, basked in the sunshine of his manliness, rejoiced in his wit, +and had tuned her ears to the tone of his voice. It had all been done, +and the world expected it. Had he not made his offer, Lily would have +been ill-treated--though, alas, alas, there was future ill-treatment, so +much heavier, in store for her! But there are other cases in which a +lover cannot make himself known as such without great difficulty, and +when he does do so, cannot hope for an immediate answer in his favour. +It is hard upon old friends that this difficulty should usually fall +the heaviest upon them. Crofts had been so intimate with the Dale +family that very many persons had thought it probable that he would +marry one of the girls. Mrs Dale herself had thought so, and had almost +hoped it. Lily had certainly done both. These thoughts and hopes had +somewhat faded away, but yet their former existence should have been in +the doctor's favour. But now, when he had in some way spoken out, Bell +started back from him and would not believe that he was in earnest. She +probably loved him better than any man in the world, and yet, when he +spoke to her of love, she could not bring herself to understand him. + +"I don't know what you mean, Dr Crofts; indeed I do not," she said. + +"I had meant to ask you to be my wife; simply that. But you shall not +have the pain of making me a positive refusal. As I rode here today I +thought of it. During my frequent rides of late I have thought of +little else. But I told myself that I had no right to do it. I have not +even a house in which it would be fit that you should live." + +"Dr Crofts, if I loved you--if I wished to marry you--" and then she +stopped herself. + +"But you do not?" + +"No; I think not. I suppose not. No. But in any way no consideration +about money has anything to do with it." + +"But I am not that butcher or that baker whom you could love?" + +"No," said Bell; and then she stopped herself from further speech, not +as intending to convey all her answer in that one word, but as not +knowing how to fashion any further words. + +"I knew it would be so," said the doctor. + +It will, I fear, be thought by those who condescend to criticise this +lover's conduct and his mode of carrying on his suit, that he was very +unfit for such work. Ladies will say that he wanted courage, and men +will say that he wanted wit. I am inclined, however, to believe that he +behaved as well as men generally do behave on such occasions, and that +he showed himself to be a good average lover. There is your bold +lover, who knocks his lady-love over as he does a bird, and who would +anathematise himself all over, and swear that his gun was distraught, +and look about as though he thought the world was coming to an end, if +he missed to knock over his bird. And there is your timid lover, who +winks his eyes when he fires, who has felt certain from the moment in +which he buttoned on his knickerbockers that he at any rate would kill +nothing, and who, when he hears the loud congratulations of his +friends, cannot believe that he really did bag that beautiful winged +thing by his own prowess. The beautiful winged thing which the timid +man carries home in his bosom, declining to have it thrown into a +miscellaneous cart, so that it may never be lost in a common crowd of +game, is better to him than are the slaughtered hecatombs to those who +kill their birds by the hundred. + +But Dr Crofts had so winked his eye, that he was not in the least aware +whether he had winged his bird or no. Indeed, having no one at hand to +congratulate him, he was quite sure that the bird had flown away +uninjured into the next field. "No" was the only word which Bell had +given in answer to his last sidelong question, and No is not a +comfortable word to lovers. But there had been that in Bell's No which +might have taught him that the bird was not escaping without a wound, +if he had still had any of his wits about him. + +"Now I will go," said he. Then he paused for an answer, but none came. +"And you will understand what I meant when I spoke of being turned out." + +"Nobody turns you out." And Bell, as she spoke, had almost descended to +a sob. + +"It is time, at any rate, that I should go; is it not? And, Bell, don't +suppose that this little scene will keep me away from your sister's +bedside. I shall be here tomorrow, and you will find that you will +hardly know me again for the same person." Then in the dark he put out +his hand to her. + +"Good-bye," she said, giving him her hand. He pressed hers very +closely, but she, though she wished to do so, could not bring herself +to return the pressure. Her hand remained passive in his, showing no +sign of offence; but it was absolutely passive. + +"Good-bye, dearest friend," he said. + +"Good-bye," she answered--and then he was gone. + +She waited quite still till she heard the front-door close after him, +and then she crept silently up to her own bedroom, and sat herself down +in a low rocking-chair over the fire. It was in accordance with a +custom already established that her mother should remain with Lily till +the tea was ready downstairs; for in these days of illness such dinners +as were provided were eaten early. Bell, therefore, knew that she had +still some half-hour of her own, during which she might sit and think +undisturbed. + +And what naturally should have been her first thoughts? That she had +ruthlessly refused a man who, as she now knew, loved her well, and for +whom she had always felt at any rate the warmest friendship? Such were +not her thoughts, nor were they in any way akin to this. They ran back +instantly to years gone by--over long years, as her few years were +counted, and settled themselves on certain halcyon days, in which she +had dreamed that he had loved her, and had fancied that she had loved +him. How she had schooled herself for those days since that, and taught +herself to know that her thoughts had been over-bold! And now it had +all come round. The only man that she had ever liked had loved her. +Then there came to her a memory of a certain day, in which she had been +almost proud to think that Crosbie had admired her, in which she had +almost hoped that it might be so; and as she thought of this she +blushed, and struck her foot twice upon the floor. + +"Dear Lily," she said to herself--"poor Lily!" But the feeling which +induced her then to think of her sister had had no relation to that +which had first brought Crosbie into her mind. + +And this man had loved her through it all--this priceless, peerless +man--this man who was as true to the backbone as that other man had +shown himself to be false; who was as sound as the other man had proved +himself to be rotten. A smile came across her face as she sat looking +at the fire, thinking of this. A man had loved her, whose love was +worth possessing. She hardly remembered whether or no she had refused +him or accepted him. She hardly asked herself what she would do. As to +all that it was necessary that she should have many thoughts, but the +necessity did not press upon her quite immediately. For the present, at +any rate, she might sit and triumph--and thus triumphant she sat there +till the old nurse came in and told her that her mother was waiting for +her below. + + + +CHAPTER XL + +PREPARATIONS FOR THE WEDDING + +The fourteenth of February was finally settled as the day on which Mr +Crosbie was to be made the happiest of men. A later day had been at +first named, the twenty-seventh or twenty-eighth having been suggested +as an improvement, over the first week in March; but Lady Amelia had +been frightened by Crosbie's behaviour on that Sunday evening, and had +made the countess understand that there should be no unnecessary delay. + +"He doesn't scruple at that kind of thing," Lady Amelia had said in one +of her letters, showing perhaps less trust in the potency of her own +rank than might have been expected from her. The countess, however, had +agreed with her, and when Crosbie received from his mother-in-law a +very affectionate epistle, setting forth all the reasons which would +make the fourteenth so much more convenient a day than the +twenty-eighth, he was unable to invent an excuse for not being made +happy a fortnight earlier than the time named in the bargain. His first +impulse had been against yielding, arising from some feeling which made +him think that more than the bargain ought not to be exacted. But what +was the use to him of quarrelling? What the use, at least, of +quarrelling just then? He believed that he could more easily +enfranchise himself from the De Courcy tyranny when he should be once +married than he could do now. When Lady Alexandrina should be his own +he would let her know that he intended to be her master. If in doing so +it would be necessary that he should divide himself altogether from the +De Courcys, such division should be made. At the present moment he +would yield to them, at any rate in this matter. And so the fourteenth +of February was fixed for the marriage. + +In the second week in January Alexandrina came up to look after her +things; or, in more noble language, to fit herself with becoming bridal +appanages. As she could not properly do all this work alone, or even +under the surveillance and with the assistance of a sister, Lady de +Courcy was to come up also. But Alexandrina came first, remaining with +her sister in St. John's Wood till the countess should arrive. The +countess had never yet condescended to accept of her son-in-law's +hospitality, but always went to the cold, comfortless house in Portman +Square--the house which had been the De Courcy town family mansion for +many years, and which the countess would long since have willingly +exchanged for some abode on the other side of Oxford Street; but the +earl had been obdurate; his clubs and certain lodgings which he had +occasionally been wont to occupy, were on the right side of Oxford +Street; why should he change his old family residence? So the countess +was coming up to Portman Square, not having been even asked on this +occasion to St. John's Wood. + +"Don't you think we'd better," Mr Gazebee had said to his wife, almost +trembling at the renewal of his own proposition. + +"I think not, my dear," Lady Amelia had answered. + +"Mamma is not very particular; but there are little things, you know--" + +"Oh, yes, of course," said Mr Gazebee; and then the conversation had +been dropped. He would most willingly have entertained his august +mother-in-law during her visit to the metropolis, and yet her presence +in his house would have made him miserable as long as she remained +there. + +But for a week Alexandrina sojourned under Mr Gazebee's roof, during +which time Crosbie was made happy with all the delights of an expectant +bridegroom. Of course he was given to understand that he was to dine at +the Gazebees' every day, and spend all his evenings there; and, under +the circumstances, he had no excuse for not doing so. Indeed, at the +present moment, his hours would otherwise have hung heavily enough upon +his hands. In spite of his bold resolution with reference to his eye, +and his intention not to be debarred from the pleasures of society by +the marks of the late combat, he had not, since that occurrence, +frequented his club very closely; and though London was now again +becoming fairly full, he did not find himself going out so much as had +been his wont. The brilliance of his coming marriage did not seem to +have added much to his popularity; in fact, the world--his world--was +beginning to look coldly at him. Therefore that daily attendance at St. +John's Wood was not felt to be so irksome as might have been expected. + +A residence had been taken for the couple in a very fashionable row of +buildings abutting upon the Bayswater Road, called Princess Royal +Crescent. The house was quite new, and the street being unfinished had +about it strong smell of mortar, and a general aspect of builders' +poles and brickbats; but nevertheless, it was acknowledged to be a +quite correct locality. From one end of the crescent a corner of Hyde +Park could be seen, and the other abutted on a very handsome terrace +indeed, in which lived an ambassador--from South America--a few bankers' +senior clerks, and a peer of the realm. We know how vile is the sound +of Baker Street, and how absolutely foul to the polite ear is the name +of Fitzroy Square. The houses, however, in those purlieus are +substantial, warm, and of good size. The house in Princess Royal +Crescent was certainly not substantial, for in these days +substantially-built houses do not pay. It could hardly have been warm, +for, to speak the truth, it was even yet not finished throughout; and +as for the size, though the drawing-room was a noble apartment, +consisting of a section of the whole house, with a corner cut out for +the staircase, It was very much cramped in its other parts, and was +made like a cherub, in this respect, that it had no rear belonging to +it. + +"But if you have no private fortune of your own, you cannot have +everything," as the countess observed when Crosbie objected to the +house because a closet under the kitchen-stairs was to be assigned to +him as his own dressing-room. + +When the question of the house was first debated, Lady Amelia had been +anxious that St. John's Wood should be selected as the site, but to +this Crosbie had positively objected. + +"I think you don't like St. John's Wood," Lady Amelia had said to him +somewhat sternly, thinking to awe him into a declaration that he +entertained no general enmity to the neighbourhood. But Crosbie was not +weak enough for this. + +No; I do not," he said. + +"I have always disliked it. It amounts to a prejudice, I dare say. But +if I were made to live here I am convinced I should cut my throat in +the first six months." + +Lady Amelia had then drawn herself up, declaring her sorrow that her +house should be so hateful to him. + +"Oh, dear, no," said he. + +"I like it very much for you, and enjoy coming here of all things. I +speak only of the effect which living here myself would have upon me." + +Lady Amelia was quite clever enough to understand it all; but she had +her sister's interest at heart, and therefore persevered in her +affectionate solicitude for her brother-in-law, giving up that point as +to St. John's Wood. Crosbie himself had wished to go to one of the new +Pimlico squares down near Vauxhall Bridge and the river, actuated +chiefly by consideration of the enormous distance lying between that +locality and the northern region in which Lady Amelia lived; but to +this Lady Alexandrina had objected strongly. If, indeed, they could +have achieved Eaton Square, or a street leading out of Eaton Square--if +they could have crept on to the hem of the skirt of Belgravia--the bride +would have been delighted. And at first she was very nearly being taken +in with the idea that such was the proposal made to her. Her +geographical knowledge of Pimlico had not been perfect, and she had +nearly fallen into a fatal error. But a friend had kindly intervened. + +"For heaven's sake, my dear, don't let him take you anywhere beyond +Eccleston Square!" had been exclaimed to her in dismay by a faithful +married friend. Thus warned, Alexandrina had been firm, and now their +tent was to be pitched in Princess Royal Crescent, from one end of +which the Hyde Park may be seen. + +The furniture had been ordered chiefly under the inspection, and by the +experience, of the Lady Amelia. Crosbie had satisfied himself by +declaring that she at any rate could get the things cheaper than he +could buy them, and that he had no taste for such employment. +Nevertheless, he had felt that he was being made subject to tyranny and +brought under the thumb of subjection. He could not go cordially into +this matter of beds and chairs, and, therefore, at last deputed the +whole matter to the De Courcy faction. And for this there was another +reason, not hitherto mentioned. Mr Mortimer Gazebee was finding the +money with which all the furniture was being bought. He, with an honest +but almost unintelligible zeal for the De Courcy family; had tied up +every shilling on which he could lay his hand as belonging to Crosbie, +in the interest of Lady Alexandrina. He had gone to work for her, +scraping here and arranging there, strapping the new husband down upon +the grindstone of his matrimonial settlement, as though the future +bread of his, Gazebee's, own children were dependent on the validity of +his legal workmanship. And for this he was not to receive a penny, or +gain any advantage, immediate or ulterior. It came from his zeal--his +zeal for the coronet which Lord de Courcy wore. According to his mind +an earl and an earl's belongings were entitled to such zeal. It was the +theory in which he had been educated, and amounted to a worship which, +unconsciously, he practised. Personally, he disliked Lord de Courcy, +who ill-treated him. He knew that the earl was a heartless, cruel, bad +man. But as an earl he was entitled to an amount of service which no +commoner could have commanded from Mr Gazebee. Mr Gazebee, having thus +tied up all the available funds in favour of Lady Alexandrina's +seemingly expected widowhood, was himself providing the money with +which the new house was to be furnished. + +"You can pay me a hundred and fifty a year with four per cent, till it +is liquidated," he had said to Crosbie; and Crosbie had assented with a +grunt. Hitherto, though he had lived in London expensively, and as a +man of fashion, he had never owed any one anything. He was now to begin +that career of owing. But when a clerk in a public office marries an +earl's daughter, he cannot expect to have everything his own way. + +Lady Amelia had bought the ordinary furniture--the beds, the +stair-carpets, the washing-stands, and the kitchen things. Gazebee had +got a bargain of the dinner-table and sideboard. But Lady Alexandrina +herself was to come up with reference to the appurtenances of the +drawing-room. It was with reference to matters of costume that the +countess intended to lend her assistance--matters of costume as to which +the bill could not be sent in to Gazebee, and be paid for by him with +five per cent, duly charged against the bridegroom. The bridal +trousseau must be produced by De Courcy's means, and, therefore, it was +necessary that the countess herself should come upon the scene. + +"I will have no bills, d'ye hear?" snarled the earl, gnashing and +snapping upon his words with one specially ugly black tooth. "I won't +have any bills about this affair." And yet he made no offer of ready +money. It was very necessary under such circumstances that the countess +herself should come upon the scene. An ambiguous hint had been conveyed +to Mr Gazebee, during a visit of business which he had lately made to +Courcy Castle, that the milliner's bills might as well be pinned on to +those of the furniture-makers, the crockerymongers, and the like. The +countess, putting it in her own way, had gently suggested that the +fashion of the thing had changed lately, and that such an arrangement +was considered to be the proper thing among people who lived really in +the world. But Gazebee was a clear-headed, honest man; and he knew the +countess. He did not think that such an arrangement could be made on +the present occasion. Whereupon the countess pushed her suggestion no +further, but made up her mind that she must come up to London herself. + +It was pleasant to see the Ladies Amelia and Alexandrina, as they sat +within a vast emporium of carpets in Bond Street, asking questions of +the four men who were waiting upon them, putting their heads together +and whispering, calculating accurately as to extra twopences a yard, +and occasioning as much trouble as it was possible for them to give. It +was pleasant because they managed their large hoops cleverly among the +huge rolls of carpets, because they were enjoying themselves +thoroughly, and taking to themselves the homage of the men as clearly +their due. But it was not so pleasant to look at Crosbie, who was +fidgeting to get away to his office, to whom no power of choosing in +the matter was really given, and whom the men regarded as being +altogether supernumerary. The ladies had promised to be at the shop by +half-past ten, so that Crosbie should reach his office at eleven--or a +little after. But it was nearly eleven before they left the Gazebee +residence, and it was very evident that half-an-hour among the carpets +would be by no means sufficient. It seemed as though miles upon miles +of gorgeous colouring were unrolled before them; and then when any +pattern was regarded as at all practicable, it was unrolled backwards +and forwards till a room was nearly covered by it. Crosbie felt for the +men who were hauling about the huge heaps of material; but Lady Amelia +sat as composed as though it were her duty to inspect every yard of +stuff in the warehouse. + +"I think we'll look at that one at the bottom again." Then the men went +to work and removed a mountain. + +"No, my dear, that green in the scroll-work won't do. It would fly +directly, if any hot water were spilt." The man, smiling ineffably, +declared that that particular green never flew anywhere. But Lady +Amelia paid no attention to him, and the carpet for which the mountain +had been removed became part of another mountain. + +"That might do," said Alexandrina, gazing upon a magnificent crimson +ground through which rivers of yellow meandered, carrying with them in +their streams an infinity of blue flowers. And as she spoke she held +her head gracefully on one side, and looked down upon the carpet +doubtingly. Lady Amelia poked it with her parasol at though to test its +durability, and whispered something about yellows showing the dirt. +Crosbie took out his watch and groaned. + +"It's a superb carpet, my lady, and about the newest thing we have. We +put down four hundred and fifty yards of it for the Duchess of South +Wales, at Cwddglwlch Castle, only last month. Nobody has had it since, +for it has not been in stock." Whereupon Lady Amelia again poked it, +and then got up and walked upon it. Lady Alexandrina held her head a +little more on one side. + +"Five and three?" said Lady Amelia. + +"Oh, no, my lady; five and seven; and the cheapest carpet we have in +the house. There is twopence a yard more in the colour; there is, +indeed." + +"And the discount?" asked Lady Amelia. + +"Two and a half, my lady." + +"Oh dear, no," said Lady Amelia. "I always have five per cent. for +immediate payment--quite immediate, you know." Upon which the man +declared the question must be referred to his master. Two and a half +was the rule of the house. Crosbie, who had been looking out of the +window, said that upon his honour he couldn't wait any longer. + +"And what do you think of it, Adolphus?", asked Alexandrina. + +"Think of what?" + +"Of the carpet--this one, you know!" + +"Oh--what do I think of the carpet? I don't think I quite like all these +yellow bands; and isn't it too red? I should have thought something +brown with a small pattern would have been better. But, upon my word, I +don't much care." + +"Of course he doesn't," said Lady Amelia. Then the two ladies put their +heads together for another five minutes, and the carpet was +chosen--subject to that question of the discount. + +"And now about the rug," said Lady Amelia. But here Crosbie rebelled, +and insisted that he must leave them and go to his office. + +"You can't want me about the rug," he said. + +"Well, perhaps not," said Lady Amelia. But it was manifest that +Alexandrina did not approve of being thus left by her senior attendant. + +The same thing happened in Oxford Street with reference to the chairs +and sofas, and Crosbie began to wish that he were settled, even though +he should have to dress himself in the closet below the kitchen-stairs. +He was learning to hate the whole household in St. John's Wood, and +almost all that belonged to it. He was introduced there to little +family economies of which hitherto he had known nothing, and which were +disgusting to him, and the necessity for which was especially explained +to him. It was to men placed as he was about to place himself that +these economies were so vitally essential--to men who with limited means +had to maintain a decorous outward face towards the fashionable world. +Ample supplies of butchers' meat and unlimited washing-bills might be +very well upon fifteen hundred a year to those who went out but seldom, +and who could use the first cab that came to hand when they did go out. +But there were certain things that Lady Alexandrina must do, and +therefore the strictest household economy became necessary. Would Lily +Dale have required the use of a carriage, got up to look as though it +were private, at the expense of her husband's beefsteaks and clean +shirts? That question and others of that nature were asked by Crosbie +within his own mind, not unfrequently. + +But, nevertheless, he tried to love Alexandrina, or rather to persuade +himself that he loved her. If he could only get her away from the De +Courcy faction, and especially from the Gazebee branch of it, he would +break her of all that. He would teach her to sit triumphantly in a +street cab, and to cater for her table with a plentiful hand. Teach +her! at some age over thirty; and with such careful training as she had +already received! Did he intend to forbid her ever again to see her +relations, ever to go to St. John's Wood, or to correspond with the +countess and Lady Margaretta? Teach her, indeed! Had he yet to learn +that he could not wash a blackamoor white? that he could not have done +so even had he himself been well adapted for the attempt, whereas he +was in truth nearly as ill adapted as a man might be? But who could +pity him? Lily, whom he might have had in his bosom, would have been no +blackamoor. + +Then came the time of Lady de Courcy's visit to town, and Alexandrina +moved herself off to Portman Square. There was some apparent comfort in +this to Crosbie, for he would thereby be saved from those daily dreary +journeys up to the north-west. I may say that he positively hated that +windy corner near the church, round which he had to walk in getting to +the Gazebee residence, and that he hated the lamp which guided him to +the door, and the very door itself. This door stood buried as it were +in a wall, and opened on to a narrow passage which ran across a +so-called garden, or front yard, containing on each side two iron +receptacles for geraniums, painted to look like Palissy ware, and a +naked female on a pedestal. No spot in London was, as he thought, so +cold as the bit of pavement immediately in front of that door. And +there he would be kept five, ten, fifteen minutes, as he +declared--though I believe in my heart that the time never exceeded +three--while Richard was putting off the trappings of his work and +putting on the trappings of his grandeur. + +If people would only have their doors opened to you by such assistance +as may come most easily and naturally to the work! I stood lately for +some minutes on a Tuesday afternoon at a gallant portal, and as I waxed +impatient a pretty maiden came and opened it. She was a pretty maiden, +though her hands and face and apron told tales of the fire-grates. + +"Laws, sir," she said, "the visitors' day is Wednesday; and if you +would come then, there would be the man in livery!" She took my card +with the corner of her apron, and did just as well as the man in +livery; but what would have happened to her had her little speech been +overheard by her mistress? + +Crosbie hated the house in St. John's Wood, and therefore the coming of +the countess was a relief to him. Portman Square was easily to be +reached, and the hospitalities of the countess would not be pressed +upon him so strongly as those of the Gazebees. When he first called he +was shown into the great family dining-room, which looked out towards +the back of the house. The front windows were, of course, closed, as +the family was not supposed to be in London. Here he remained in the +room for some quarter of an hour, and then the countess descended upon +him in all her grandeur. Perhaps he had never before seen her so grand. +Her dress was very large, and rustled through the broad doorway, as if +demanding even a broader passage. She had on a wonder of a bonnet, and +a velvet mantle that was nearly as expansive as her petticoats. She +threw her head a little back as she accosted him, and he instantly +perceived that he was enveloped in the fumes of an affectionate but +somewhat contemptuous patronage. In old days he had liked the countess, +because her manner to him had always been flattering. In his +intercourse with her he had been able to feel that he gave quite as +much as he got, and that the countess was aware of the fact. In all the +circumstances of their acquaintance the ascendancy had been with him, +and therefore the acquaintance had been a pleasant one. The countess +had been a good-natured, agreeable woman, whose rank and position had +made her house pleasant to him; and therefore he had consented to shine +upon her with such light as he had to give. Why was it that the matter +was reversed, now that there was so much stronger a cause for good +feeling between them? He knew that there was such change, and with +bitter internal upbraidings he acknowledged to himself that this woman +was getting the mastery over him. As the friend of the countess he had +been a great man in her eyes--in all her little words and looks she had +acknowledged his power; but now, as her son-in-law, he was to become a +very little man--such as was Mortimer Gazebee! + +"My dear Adolphus," she said, taking both his hands, "the day is coming +very near now; is it not?" + +"Very near, indeed," he said. + +"Yes, it is very near. I hope you feel yourself a happy man." + +"Oh, yes, that's of course." + +"It ought to be. Speaking very seriously, I mean that it ought to be a +matter of course. She is everything that a man should desire in a +wife. I am not alluding now to her rank, though of course you feel what +a great advantage she gives you in this respect." + +Crosbie muttered something as to his consciousness of having drawn a +prize in the lottery; but he so muttered it as not to convey to the +lady's ears a proper sense of his dependent gratitude. + +"I know of no man more fortunate than you have been," she continued +"and I hope that my dear girl will find that you are fully aware that +it is so. I think that she is looking rather fagged. You have allowed +her to do more than was good for her in the way of shopping." + +"She has done a good deal, certainly," said Crosbie. + +"She is so little used to anything of that kind! But of course, as +things have turned out, it was necessary that she should see to these +things herself." + +"I rather think she liked it," said Crosbie. + +"I believe she will always like doing her duty. We are just going now +to Madame Millefranc's, to see some silks--perhaps you would wish to go +with us?" + +Just at this moment Alexandrina came into the room, and, looked as +though she were in all respects a smaller edition of her mother. They +were both well-grown women, with handsome large figures, and a certain +air about them which answered almost for beauty. As to the countess, +her face, on close inspection, bore, as it was entitled to do, deep +signs of age; but she so managed her face that any such close +inspection was never made; and her general appearance for her time of +life was certainly good. Very little more than this could be said in +favour of her daughter. + +"Oh dear, no, mamma," she said, having heard her mother's last words. +"He's the worst person in a shop in the world. He likes nothing, and +dislikes nothing. Do you, Adolphus?" + +"Indeed I do. I like all the cheap things, and dislike all the dear +things." + +"Then you certainly shall not go with us to Madame Millefranc's," said +Alexandrina. + +"It would not matter to him there, you know, my dear," said the +countess, thinking perhaps of the suggestion she had lately made to Mr +Gazebee. + +On this occasion Crosbie managed to escape, simply promising to return +to Portman Square in the evening after dinner. + +"By-the-by, Adolphus," said the countess, as he handed her into the +hired carriage which stood at the door, + +"I wish you would go to Lambert's, on Ludgate Hill, for me. He has had +a bracelet of mine for nearly three months. Do, there's a good. +creature. Get it if you can, and bring it up this evening." + +Crosbie, as he made his way back to his office, swore that he would not +do the bidding of the countess. He would not trudge off into the city +after her trinkets. But at five o'clock, when he left his office, he +did go there. He apologised to himself by saying that he had nothing +else to do, and bethought himself that at the present moment his lady +mother-in-law's smiles might be more convenient than her frowns. So he +went to Lambert's, on Ludgate Hill, and there learned that the bracelet +had been sent down to Courcy Castle full two months since. + +After that he dined at his club, at Sebright's. He dined alone, sitting +by no means in bliss with his half-pint of sherry on the table before +him. A man now and then came up and spoke to him, one a few words, and +another a few, and two or three congratulated him as to his marriage; +but the club was not the same thing to him as it had formerly been. He +did not stand in the centre of the rug, speaking indifferently to all +or any around him, ready with his joke, and loudly on the alert with +the last news of the day. How easy it is to be seen when any man has +fallen from his pride of place, though the altitude was ever so small, +and the fall ever so slight. Where is the man who can endure such a +fall without showing it in his face, in his voice, in his step, and in +every motion of every limb? Crosbie knew that he had fallen, and showed +that he knew it by the manner in which he ate his mutton chop. + +At half-past eight he was again in Portman Square, and found the two +ladies crowding over a small fire in a small back drawing-room. The +furniture was all covered with brown holland, and the place had about +it that cold comfortless feeling which uninhabited rooms always +produce. Crosbie, as he had walked from the club up to Portman Square, +had indulged in some serious thoughts. The kind of life which he had +hitherto led had certainly passed away from him. He could never again +be the pet of a club, or indulged as one to whom all good things were +to be given without any labour at earning them on his own part. Such +for some years had been his good fortune, but such could be his good +fortune no longer. Was there anything within his reach which he might +take in lieu of that which he had lost? He might still be victorious at +his office, having more capacity for such victory than others around +him. But such success alone would hardly suffice for him. Then he +considered whether he might not even yet be happy in his own +home--whether Alexandrina, when separated from her mother, might not +become such a wife as he could love. Nothing softens a man's feelings +so much as failure, or makes him turn so anxiously to an idea of home +as buffetings from those he meets abroad. He had abandoned Lily because +his outer world had seemed to him too bright to be deserted. He would +endeavour to supply her place with Alexandrina, because his outer world +had seemed to him too harsh to be supported. Alas! alas! a man cannot +so easily repent of his sins, and wash himself white from their stains! + +When he entered the room the two ladies were sitting over the fire, as +I have stated, and Crosbie could immediately perceive that the spirit +of the countess was not serene. In fact there had been a few words +between the mother and child on that matter of the trousseau, and +Alexandrina had plainly told her mother that if she were to be married +at all she would be married with such garments belonging to her as were +fitting for an earl's daughter. It was in vain that her mother had +explained with many circumlocutional phrases, that the fitness in this +respect should be accommodated rather to the plebeian husband than to +the noble parent. Alexandrina had been very firm, and had insisted on +her rights, giving the countess to understand that if her orders for +finery were not complied with, she would return as a spinster to +Courcy, and prepare herself for partnership with Rosina. + +"My dear," said the countess, piteously, "you can have no idea of what +I shall have to go through with your father. And, of course, you could +get all these things afterwards." + +"Papa has no right to treat me in such a way. And if he would not give +me any money himself, he should have let me have some of my own." + +"Ah, my dear, that was Mr Gazebee's fault." + +"I don't care whose fault it was. It certainly was not mine. I won't +have him to tell me"--"him" was intended to signify Adolphus +Crosbie--"that he had to pay for my wedding-clothes." + +"Of course not that, my dear." + +"No; nor yet for the things which I wanted immediately. I'd much rather +go and tell him at once that the marriage must be put off." + +Alexandrina of course carried her point, the countess reflecting with a +maternal devotion equal almost to that of the pelican, that the earl +could not do more than kill her. So the things were ordered as +Alexandrina chose to order them, and the countess desired that the +bills might be sent in to Mr Gazebee. Much self-devotion had been +displayed by the mother, but the mother thought that none had been +displayed by the daughter, and therefore she had been very cross with +Alexandrina. + +Crosbie, taking a chair, sat himself between them, and in a very +good-humoured tone explained the little affair of the bracelet. + +"Your ladyship's memory must have played you false," said he, with a +smile. + +"My memory is very good," said the countess; "very good indeed. If +Twitch got it, and didn't tell me, that was not my fault." Twitch was +her ladyship's lady's-maid. Crosbie, seeing how the land lay, said +nothing more about the bracelet. + +After a minute or two he put out his hand to take that of Alexandrina. +They were to be married now in a week or two, and such a sign of love +might have been allowed to him, even in the presence of the bride's +mother. He did succeed in getting hold of her fingers, but found in +them none of the softness of a response. + +"Don't," said Lady Alexandrina, withdrawing her hand; and the tone of +her voice as she spoke the word was not sweet to his ears. He +remembered at the moment a certain scene which took place one evening +at the little bridge at Allington and Lily's voice, and Lily's words, +and Lily's passion, as he caressed her: "Oh, my love, my love, my love!" + +"My dear," said the countess, "they know how tired I am. I wonder +whether they are going to give us any tea." Whereupon Crosbie rang the +bell, and, on resuming his chair, moved it a little farther away from +his lady-love. + +Presently the tea was brought to them by the housekeeper's assistant, +who did not appear to have made herself very smart for the occasion, +and Crosbie thought that he was de trop. This, however, was a mistake +on his part. As he had been admitted into the family, such little +matters were no longer subject of care. Two or three months since, the +countess would have fainted at the idea of such a domestic appearing +with a tea-tray before Mr Crosbie. Now, however, she was utterly +indifferent to any such consideration. Crosbie was to be admitted into +the family, thereby becoming entitled to certain privileges--and thereby +also becoming subject to certain domestic drawbacks. In Mrs Dale's +little household there had been no rising to grandeur; but then, also, +there had never been any bathos of dirt. Of this also Crosbie thought +as he sat with his tea in his hand. + +He soon, however, got himself away. When he rose to go Alexandrina also +rose, and he was permitted to press his nose against her cheekbone by +way of a salute. + +"Good-night, Adolphus," said the countess, putting out her hand to him. + +"But stop a minute; I know there is something I want you to do for me. +But you will look in as you go to your office tomorrow morning." + + + +CHAPTER XLI + +DOMESTIC TROUBLES + +When Crosbie was making his ineffectual inquiry after Lady de Courcy's +bracelet at Lambert's, John Eames was in the act of entering Mrs +Roper's front door in Burton Crescent. + +"Oh, John, where's Mr Cradell?" were the first words which greeted him, +and they were spoken by the divine Amelia. Now, in her usual practice +of life, Amelia did not interest herself much as to the whereabouts of +Mr Cradell. + +"Where's Caudle?" said Eames, repeating the question. + +"Upon my word, I don't know. I walked to the office with him, but I +haven't seen him since. We don't sit in the same room, you know." + +"John!" and then she stopped. + +"What's up now?" said John. + +"John! That woman's off and left her husband. As sure as your name's +John Eames, that foolish fellow has gone off with her." + +"What, Caudle? I don't believe it." + +"She went out of this house at two o'clock in the afternoon, and has +never been back since." That, certainly, was only four hours from the +present time, and such an absence from home in the middle of the day +was but weak evidence on which to charge a married woman with the great +sin of running off with a lover. This Amelia felt, and therefore she +went on to explain. "He's there upstairs in the drawing-room, the very +picture of disconsolateness." + +"Who--Caudle?" + +"Lupex is. He's been drinking a little, I'm afraid; but he's very +unhappy, indeed. He had an appointment to meet his wife here at four +o'clock, and when he came he found her gone. He rushed up into their +room, and now he says she has broken open a box he had and taken off +all his money." + +"But he never had any money." + +"He paid mother some the day before yesterday." + +"That's just the reason he shouldn't have any today." + +"She certainly has taken things she wouldn't have taken if she'd merely +gone out shopping or anything like that, for I've been up in the room +and looked about. She'd three necklaces. They weren't much account; but +she must have them all on, or else have got them in her pocket." + +"Caudle has never gone off with her in that way. He may be a fool--" +"Oh, he is, you know. I've never seen such a fool about a woman as he +has been." + +"But he wouldn't be a party to stealing a lot of trumpery trinkets, or +taking her husband's money. Indeed, I don't think he has anything to do +with it." Then Eames thought ever the circumstances of the day, and +remembered that he had certainly not seen Cradell since the morning. It +was that public servant's practice to saunter into Eames's room in the +middle of the day, and there consume bread and cheese and beer--in spite +of an assertion which Johnny had once made as to crumbs of biscuit +bathed in ink. But on this special day he had not done so. + +"I can't think he has been such a fool as that," said Johnny. + +"But he has," said Amelia. "It's dinner-time now, and where is he? Had +he any money left, Johnny?" + +So interrogated, Eames disclosed a secret confided to him by his friend +which no other circumstances would have succeeded in dragging from his +breast. + +"She borrowed twelve pounds from him about a fortnight since, +immediately after quarter-day. And she owed him money, too, before +that." + +"Oh, what a soft!" exclaimed Amelia; "and he hasn't paid mother a +shilling for the last two months!" + +"It was his money, perhaps, that Mrs Roper got from Lupex the day +before yesterday. If so, it comes to the same thing as far as she is +concerned, you know." + +"And what are we to do now?" said Amelia, as she went before her lover +upstairs. "Oh, John, what will become of me if ever you serve me in +that way? What should I do if you were to go off with another lady?" + +"Lupex hasn't gone off," said Eames, who hardly knew what to say when +the matter was brought before him with so closely personal a reference. + +"But it's the same thing," said Amelia. "Hearts is divided. Hearts that +have been joined together ought never to be divided; ought they?" And +then she hung upon his arm just as they got to the drawing-room door. + +"Hearts and darts are all my eye," said Johnny. "My belief is that a +man had better never marry at all. How d'you do, Mr Lupex? Is anything +the matter?" + +Mr Lupex was seated on a chair in the middle of the room, and was +leaning with his head over the back of it. So despondent was he in his +attitude that his head would have fallen off and rolled on to the +floor, had it followed the course which its owner seemed to intend that +it should take. His hands hung down also along the back legs of the +chair, till his fingers almost touched the ground, and altogether his +appearance was pendent, drooping, and woebegone. Miss Spruce was seated +in one corner of the room, with her hands folded in her lap before her, +and Mrs Roper was standing on the rug with a look of severe virtue on +her brow,--of virtue which, to judge by its appearance, was very severe. +Nor was its severity intended to be exercised solely against Mrs Lupex. +Mrs Roper was becoming very tired of Mr Lupex also, and would not have +been unhappy if he also had run away--leaving behind him so much of his +property as would have paid his bill. + +Mr Lupex did not stir when first addressed by John Eames, but a certain +convulsive movement was to be seen on the back of his head, indicating +that this new arrival in the drawing-room had produced a fresh +accession of agony. The chair, too, quivered under him, and his fingers +stretched themselves nearer to the ground and shook themselves. + +"Mr Lupex, we're going to dinner immediately," said Mrs Roper. "Mr +Eames, where is your friend, Mr Cradell? + +"Upon my word I don't know," said Eames. + +"But I know," said Lupex, jumping up and standing at his full height, +while he knocked down the chair which had lately supported him. + +"The traitor to domestic bliss! I know. And wherever he is, he has that +false woman in his arms. Would he were here!" And as he expressed the +last wish he went through a motion with his hands and arms which seemed +intended to signify that if that unfortunate young man were in the +company he would pull him in pieces and double him up, and pack him +close, and then despatch his remains off, through infinite space, to +the Prince of Darkness. "Traitor," he exclaimed, as he finished the +process. "False traitor! Foul traitor! And she too!" Then, as he +thought of this softer side of the subject, he prepared himself to +relapse again on to the chair. Finding it on the ground he had to pick +it up. He did pick it up, and once more flung away his head over the +back of it, and stretched his finger-nails almost down to the carpet. + +"James," said Mrs Roper to her son, who was now in the room, "I think +you'd better stay with Mr Lupex while we are at dinner. Come, Miss +Spruce, I'm very sorry that you should be annoyed by this kind of +thing." + +"It don't hurt me," said Miss Spruce, preparing to leave the room. "I'm +only an old woman." "Annoyed!" said Lupex, raising himself again from +his chair, not perhaps altogether disposed to remain upstairs while the +dinner, for which it was intended that he should some day pay, was +being eaten below. "Annoyed! It is a profound sorrow to me that any +lady should be annoyed by my misfortunes. As regards Miss Spruce, I +look upon her character with profound veneration." + +"You needn't mind me; I'm only an old woman," said Miss Spruce. + +"But, by heavens, I do mind!" exclaimed Lupex; and hurrying forward he +seized Miss Spruce by the hand. "I shall always regard age as +entitled--" But the special privileges which Mr Lupex would have +accorded to age were never made known to the inhabitants of Mrs Roper's +boarding-house, for the door of the room was again opened at this +moment, and Mr Cradell entered. + +"Here you are, old fellow, to answer for yourself," said Eames. + +Cradell, who had heard something as he came in at the front door, but +had not heard that Lupex was in the drawing-room, made a slight start +backwards when he saw that gentleman's face. "Upon my word and honour," +he began--but he was able to carry his speech no further. Lupex, +dropping the hand of the elderly lady whom he reverenced, was upon him +in an instant, and Cradell was shaking beneath his grasp like an aspen +leaf--or rather not like an aspen leaf, unless an aspen leaf when shaken +is to be seen with its eyes shut, its mouth open, and its tongue +hanging out. + +"Come, I say," said Eames, stepping forward to his friend's assistance; +"this won't do at all, Mr Lupex. You've been drinking. You'd better +wait till tomorrow morning, and speak to Cradell then." + +"Tomorrow morning, viper," shouted Lupex, still holding his prey, but +looking back at Eames over his shoulder. Who the viper was had not been +clearly indicated. "When will he restore to me my wife? When will he +restore to me my honour?" + +"Upon--on--on--on my--" It was for the moment in vain that poor Mr Cradell +endeavoured to asseverate his innocence, and to stake his honour upon +his own purity as regarded Mrs Lupex. Lupex still held to his enemy's +cravat, though Eames had now got him by the arm, and so far impeded his +movements as to hinder him from proceeding to any graver attack. + +"Jemima, Jemima, Jemima!" shouted Mrs Roper. "Run for the police; run +for the police!". But Amelia, who had more presence of mind than her +mother, stopped Jemima as she was making to one of the front windows. +"Keep where you are," said Amelia. + +"They'll come quiet in a minute or two. And Amelia no doubt was right. +Calling for the police when there is a row in the house is like +summoning the water-engines when the soot is on fire in the kitchen +chimney. In such cases good management will allow the soot to burn +itself out, without aid from the water-engines. In the present instance +the police were not called in, and I am inclined to think that their +presence would not have been advantageous to any of the party. + +"Upon--my--honour--I know nothing about her," were the first words which +Cradell was able to articulate, when Lupex, under Eames's persuasion, +at last relaxed his hold. + +Lupex turned round to Miss Spruce with a sardonic grin. "You hear his +words--this enemy to domestic bliss--Ha, ha! man, tell me whither you +have conveyed my wife!" + +"If you were to give me the Bank of England I don't know," said Cradell. + +"And I'm sure he does not know," said Mrs Roper, whose suspicions +against Cradell were beginning to subside. But as her suspicions +subsided, her respect for him decreased. Such was the case also with +Miss Spruce, and with Amelia, and with Jemima. They had all thought him +to be a great fool for running away with Mrs Lupex, but now they were +beginning to think him a poor creature because he had not done so. Had +he committed that active folly he would have been an interesting fool. +But now, if, as they all suspected, he knew no more about Mrs Lupex +than they did, he would be a fool without any special interest whatever. + +"Of course he doesn't," said Eames. + +"No more than I do," said Amelia. + +"His very looks show him innocent," said Mrs Roper. + +"Indeed they do," said Miss Spruce. + +Lupex turned from one to the other as they thus defended the man whom +he suspected, and shook his head at each assertion that was made. "And +if he doesn't know who does?" he asked. "Haven't I seen it all for the +last three months? Is it reasonable to suppose that a creature such as +she, used to domestic comforts all her life, should have gone off in +this way, at dinnertime, taking with her my property and all her +jewels, and that nobody should have instigated her; nobody assisted +her! Is that a story to tell to such a man as me! You may tell it to +the marines!" Mr Lupex, as he made this speech, was walking about the +room, and as he finished it he threw his pocket-handkerchief with +violence on to the floor. "I know what to do, Mrs Roper," he said. "I +know what steps to take. I shall put the affair into the hands of my +lawyers tomorrow morning." Then he picked up his handkerchief and +walked down into the dining-room. + +"Of course you know nothing about it?" said Eames to his friend, having +run upstairs for the purpose of saying a word to him while he washed +his hands. + +"What--about Maria? I don't know where she is, if you mean that." + +"Of course I mean that. What else should I mean? And what makes you +call her Maria?" + +"It is wrong. I admit it's wrong. The word will come out, you know." + +"Will come out! I'll tell you what it is, old fellow, you'll get +yourself into a mess, and all for nothing. That fellow will have you up +before the police for stealing his things--" + +"But, Johnny--" + +"I know all about it. Of course you have not stolen them, and of course +there was nothing to steal. But if you go on calling her Maria you'll +find that he'll have a pull on you. Men don't call other men's wives +names for nothing." + +"Of course we've been friends," said Cradell, who rather liked this +view of the matter. + +"Yes--you have been friends! She's diddled you out of your money, and +that's the beginning and the end of it. And now, if you go on showing +off your friendship, you'll be done out of more money. You're making an +ass of yourself. That's the long and the short of it." + +"And what have you made of yourself with that girl? There are worse +asses than I am yet, Master Johnny." Eames, as he had no answer ready +to this counter attack, left the room and went downstairs. Cradell soon +followed him, and in a few minutes they were all eating their dinner +together at Mrs Roper's hospitable table. + +Immediately after dinner Lupex took himself away, and the conversation +upstairs became general on the subject of the lady's departure. + +"If I was him I'd never ask a question about her, but let her go," said +Amelia. + +"Yes; and then have all her bills following you, wherever you went," +said Amelia's brother. + +"I'd sooner have her bills than herself," said Eames. + +"My belief is, that she's been an ill-used woman," said Cradell. "If +she had a husband that she could respect and have loved, and all that +sort of thing, she would have been a charming woman." + +"She's every bit as bad as he is," said Mrs Roper. + +"I can't agree with you, Mrs Roper," continued the lady's champion. +"Perhaps I ought to understand her position better than any one here, +and--" + +"Then that's just what you ought not to do, Mr Cradell," said Mrs +Roper. And now the lady of the house spoke out her mind with much +maternal dignity and with some feminine severity. + +"That's just what a young man like you has no business to know. What's +a married woman like that to you, or you to her; or what have you to do +with understanding her position? When you've a wife of your own, if +ever you do have one, you'll find you'll have trouble enough then +without anybody else interfering with you. Not but what I believe +you're innocent as a lamb about Mrs Lupex; that is, as far as any harm +goes. But you've got yourself into all this trouble by meddling, and +was like enough to get yourself choked upstairs by that man. And who's +to wonder when you go on pretending to be in love with a woman in that +way, and she old enough to be your mother? What would your mamma say if +she saw you at it?" + +"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Cradell. + +"It's all very well your laughing, but I hate such folly. If I see a +young man in love with a young woman, I respect him for it;" and then +she looked at Johnny Eames. "I respect him for it--even though he may +now and then do things as he shouldn't. They most of 'em does that. But +to see a young man like you, Mr Cradell, dangling after an old married +woman, who doesn't know how to behave herself; and all just because she +lets him to do it--ugh!--an old broomstick with a petticoat on would do +just as well! It makes me sick to see it, and that's the truth of it. I +don't call it manly; and it ain't manly, is it, Miss Spruce?" + +"Of course I know nothing about it," said the lady to whom the appeal +was thus made. "But a young gentleman should keep himself to himself +till the time comes for him to speak out--begging your pardon all the +same, Mr Cradell." + +"I don't see what a married woman should want with any one after her +but her own husband," said Amelia. + +"And perhaps not always that," said John Eames. + +It was about an hour after this when the front-door bell was rung, and +a scream from Jemima announced to them all that some critical moment +had arrived. Amelia, jumping up, opened the door, and then the rustle +of a woman's dress was heard on the lower stairs. + +"Oh, laws, ma'am, you have given us sich a turn," said Jemima. "We all +thought you was run away." + +"It's Mrs Lupex," said Amelia. And in two minutes more that ill-used +lady was in the room. + +"Well, my dears," said she, gaily, "I hope nobody has waited dinner." + +"No; we didn't wait dinner," said Mrs Roper, very gravely. + +"And where's my Orson? Didn't he dine at home? Mr Cradell, will you +oblige me by taking my shawl? But perhaps you had better not. People +are so censorious; ain't they, Miss Spruce? Mr Eames shall do it; and +everybody knows that that will be quite safe. Won't it, Miss Amelia?" + +"Quite, I should think," said Amelia. And Mrs Lupex knew that she was +not to look for an ally in that quarter on the present occasion. Eames +got up to take the shawl, and Mrs Lupex went on. + +"And didn't Orson dine at home? Perhaps they kept him down at the +theatre. But I've been thinking all day what fun it would be when he +thought his bird was flown." + +"He did dine at home," said Mrs Roper "and he didn't seem to like it. +There wasn't much fun, I can assure you." + +"Ah, wasn't there, though? I believe that man would like to have me +tied to his button-hole. I came across a few friends--lady friends, Mr +Cradell, though two of them had their husbands; so we made a party, and +just went down to Hampton Court. So my gentleman has gone again, has +he? That's what I get for gadding about myself, isn't it, Miss Spruce?" + +Mrs Roper, as she went to bed that night, made up her mind that, +whatever might be the cost and trouble of doing so, she would lose no +further time in getting rid of her married guests. + + + +CHAPTER XLII + +LILY'S BEDSIDE + +Lily Dale's constitution was good, and her recovery was retarded by no +relapse or lingering debility; but, nevertheless, she was forced to +keep her bed for many days after the fever had left her. During all +this period Dr Crofts came every day. It was in vain that Mrs Dale +begged him not to do so; telling him in simple words that she felt +herself bound not to accept from him all this continuation of his +unremunerated labours now that the absolute necessity for them was +over. He answered her only by little jokes, or did not answer her at +all; but still he came daily, almost always at the same hour, just as +the day was waning, so that he could sit for a quarter of an hour in +the dusk, and then ride home to Guestwick in the dark. At this time +Bell had been admitted into her sister's room, and she would always +meet Dr Crofts at Lily's bedside; but she never sat with him alone, +since the day n which he had offered her his love with half-articulated +words, and she had declined it with words also half articulated. She +had seen him alone since that, on the stairs, or standing in the hall, +but she had not remained with him, talking to him after her old +fashion, and no further word of his love had been spoken in speech +either half or wholly articulate. + +Nor had Bell spoken of what had passed to any one else. Lily would +probably have told both her mother and sister instantly; but then no +such scene as that which had taken place with Bell would have been +possible with Lily. In whatever way the matter might have gone with +her, there would certainly have been some clear tale to tell when the +interview was over. She would have known whether or no she loved the +man, or could love him, and would have given him some true and +intelligible answer. Bell had not done so, but had given him an answer +which, if true, was not intelligible, and if intelligible was not true. +And yet, when she had gone away to think over what had passed--she had +been happy and satisfied, and almost triumphant. She had never yet +asked herself whether she expected anything further from Dr Crofts, nor +what that something further might be--and yet she was happy! + +Lily had now become pert and saucy in her bed, taking upon herself the +little airs which are allowed to a convalescent invalid as compensation +for previous suffering and restraint. She pretended to much anxiety on +the subject of her dinner, and declared that she would go out on such +or such a day, let Dr Crofts be as imperious as he might. "He's an old +savage, after all," she said to her sister, one evening after he was +gone, "and just as bad as the rest of them." + +"I do not know who the rest of them are," said Bell, "but at any rate +he's not very old." + +"You know what I mean. He's just as grumpy as Dr Gruffen, and thinks +everybody is to do what he tells them. Of course, you take his part." + +"And of course you ought, seeing how good he has been." + +"And of course I should, to anybody but you. I do like to abuse him to +you." + +"Lily, Lily!" + +"So I do. It's so hard to knock any fire out of you, that when one does +find the place where the flint lies, one can't help hammering at it. +What did he mean by saying that I shouldn't get up on Sunday? Of course +I shall get up if I like it." + +"Not if mamma asks you not?" + +"Oh, but she won't, unless he interferes and dictates to her. Oh, Bell, +what a tyrant he would be if he were married!" + +"Would he?" + +"And how submissive you would be, if you were his wife! It's a thousand +pities that you are not in love with each other--that is, if you are +not." + +"Lily, I thought that there was a promise between us about that." + +"Ah! but that was in other days. Things are all altered since that +promise was given,--all the world has been altered." And as she said +this the tone of her voice was changed, and it had become almost sad. +"I feel as though I ought to be allowed to speak about anything I +please." + +"You shall, if it pleases you, my pet." + +"You see how it is, Bell; I can never again have anything of my own to +talk about." + +"Oh, my darling, do not say that." + +"But it is so, Bell; and why not say it? Do you think I never say it to +myself in the hours when I am all alone, thinking over it--thinking, +thinking, thinking. You must not--you must not grudge to let me talk of +it sometimes." + +"I will not grudge you anything--only I cannot believe that it must be +so always." + +"Ask yourself, Bell, how it would be with you. But I sometimes fancy +that you measure me differently from yourself." + +"Indeed I do, for I know how much better you are." + +"I am not so much better as to be ever able to forget all that. I know +I never shall do so. I have made up my mind about it clearly and with +an absolute certainty." + +"Lily, Lily, Lily! pray do not say so." + +"But I do say it. And yet I have not been very mopish and melancholy; +have I, Bell? I do think I deserve some little credit, and yet, I +declare, you won't allow me the least privilege in the world." + +"What privilege would you wish me to give you?" + +"To talk about Dr Crofts." + +"Lily, you are a wicked, wicked tyrant." And Bell leaned over her, and +fell upon her, and kissed her, hiding her own face in the gloom of the +evening. After that it came to be an accepted understanding between +them that Bell was not altogether indifferent to Dr Crofts. + +"You heard what he said, my darling," Mrs Dale said the next day, as +the three were in the room together after Dr Crofts was gone. Mrs Dale +was standing on one side of the bed, and Bell on the other, while Lily +was scolding them both. "You can get up for an hour or two tomorrow, +but he thinks you had better not go out of the room." + +"What would be the good of that, mamma? I am so tired of looking always +at the same paper. It is such a tiresome paper. It makes one count the +pattern over and over again. I wonder how you ever can live here." + +"I've got used to it, you see." + +"I never can get used to that sort of thing; but go on counting, and +counting, and counting. I'll tell you what I should like; and I'm sure +it would be the best thing, too." + +"And what would you like?" said Bell. + +"Just to get up at nine o'clock tomorrow, and go to church as though +nothing had happened. Then, when Dr Crofts came in the evening, you +would tell him I was down at the school." + +"I wouldn't quite advise that," said Mrs Dale. + +"It would give him such a delightful start. And when he found I didn't +die immediately, as of course I ought to do according to rule, he would +be so disgusted." + +"It would be very ungrateful, to say the least of it," said Bell. + +"No, it wouldn't, a bit. He needn't come, unless he likes it. And I +don't believe he comes to see me at all. It's all very well, mamma, +your looking in that way; but I'm sure it's true. And I'll tell you +what I'll do, I'll pretend to be bad again, otherwise the poor man will +be robbed of his only happiness." + +"I suppose we must allow her to say what she likes till she gets well," +said Mrs Dale, laughing. It was now nearly dark, and Mrs Dale did not +see that Bell's hand had crept under the bed-clothes, and taken hold of +that of her sister. "It's true, mamma," continued Lily, "and I defy her +to deny it. I would forgive him for keeping me in bed if he would only +make her fall in love with him." + +"She has made a bargain, mamma," said Bell, "that she is to say +whatever she likes till she gets well." + +"I am to say whatever I like always; that was the bargain, and I mean +to stand to it." + +On the following Sunday Lily did get up, but did not leave her mother's +bedroom. There she was, seated in that half-dignified and +half-luxurious state which belongs to the first getting up of an +invalid, when Dr Crofts called. There she had eaten her tiny bit of +roast mutton, and had called her mother a stingy old creature, because +she would not permit another morsel; and there she had drunk her half +glass of port wine, pretending that it was very bad, and twice worse +than the doctor's physic; and there, Sunday though it was, she had +fully enjoyed the last hour of daylight, reading that exquisite new +novel which had just completed itself, amidst the jarring criticisms of +the youth and age of the reading public. + +"I am quite sure she was right in accepting him, Bell," she said, +putting down the book as the light was fading, and beginning to praise +the story. + +"It was a matter of course," said Bell. "It always is right in the +novels. That's why I don't like them. They are too sweet." + +"That's why I do like them, because they are so sweet. A sermon is not +to tell you what you are, but what you ought to be, and a novel should +tell you not what you are to get, but what you'd like to get." + +"If so, then, I'd go back to the old school, and have the heroine +really a heroine, walking all the way up from Edinburgh to London, and +falling among thieves; or else nursing a wounded hero, and describing +the battle from the window. We've got tired of that; or else the people +who write can't do it nowadays. But if we are to have real life, let it +be real." + +"No, Bell, no," said Lily. "Real life sometimes is so painful." Then +her sister, in a moment, was down on the floor at her feet, kissing her +hand and caressing her knees, and praying that the wound might be +healed. + +On that morning Lily had succeeded in inducing her sister to tell her +all that had been said by Dr Crofts. All that had been said by herself +also, Bell had intended to tell; but when she came to this part of the +story, her account was very lame. "I don't think I said anything," she +said. "But silence always gives consent. He'll know that," Lily had +rejoined. + +"No, he will not; my silence didn't give any consent; I'm sure of that. +And he didn't think that it did." + +"But you didn't mean to refuse him?" + +"I think I did. I don't think I knew what I meant; and it was safer, +therefore, to look no, than to look yes. If I didn't say it, I'm sure I +looked it." + +"But you wouldn't refuse him now?" asked Lily. + +"I don't know," said Bell. "It seems as though I should want years to +make up my mind; and he won't ask me again." + +Bell was still at her sister's feet, caressing them, and praying with +all her heart that that wound might be healed in due time, when Mrs +Dale came in and announced the doctor's daily visit. + +"Then I'll go," said Bell. + +"Indeed you won't," said Lily. "He is coming simply to make a morning +call, and nobody need run away. Now, Dr Crofts, you need not come and +stand over me with your watch, for I won't let you touch my hand except +to shake hands with me;" and then she held her hand out to him." + +"And all you'll know of my tongue you'll learn from the sound." + +"I don't care in the least for your tongue." + +"I dare say not, and yet you may some of these days. I can speak out if +I like it; can't I, mamma?" + +"I should think Dr Crofts knows that by this time, my dear." + +"I don't know. There are some things gentlemen are very slow to learn. +But you must sit down, Dr Crofts, and make yourself comfortable and +polite; for you must understand that you are not master here any +longer. I am out of bed now, and your reign is over." + +"That's the gratitude of the world, all through," said Mrs Dale. + +"Who is ever grateful to a doctor? He only cures you that he may +triumph over some other doctor, and declare, as he goes by Dr Gruffen's +door, 'There, had she called you in, she'd have been dead before now; +or else would have been ill for twelve months.' Don't you jump for joy +when Dr Gruffen's patients die?" + +"Of course I do--out in the market-place, so that everybody shall see +me," said the doctor. + +"Lily, how can you say such shocking things?" said her sister. + +Then the doctor did sit down, and they were all very cosy together over +the fire, talking about things which were not medical, or only half +medical in their appliance. By degrees the conversation came round to +Mrs Eames and to John Eames. Two or three days since Crofts had told +Mrs Dale of that affair at the railway station, of which up to that +time she had heard nothing. Mrs Dale, when she was assured that young +Eames had given Crosbie a tremendous thrashing--the tidings of the +affair which had got themselves substantiated at Guestwick so described +the nature of the encounter--could not withhold some meed of applause. + +"Dear boy!" she said, almost involuntarily. "Dear boy! it came from the +honestness of his heart!" And then she gave special injunctions to the +doctor--injunctions which were surely unnecessary--that no word of the +matter should be whispered before Lily. + +"I was at the manor, yesterday," said the doctor, "and the earl would +talk about nothing but Master Johnny. He says he's the finest fellow +going." Whereupon Mrs Dale touched him with her foot, fearing that the +conversation might be led away in the direction of Johnny's prowess. + +"I am so glad," said Lily. "I always knew that they'd find John out at +last." + +"And Lady Julia is just as fond of him," said the doctor. + +"Dear me!" said Lily. "Suppose they were to make up a match!" + +"Lily, how can you be so absurd?" + +"Let me see; what relation would he be to us? He would certainly be +Bernard's uncle, and Uncle Christopher's half brother-in-law. Wouldn't +it be odd?" + +"It would rather," said Mrs Dale. + +"I hope he'll be civil to Bernard. Don't you, Bell? Is he to give up +the Income-tax Office, Dr Crofts?" + +"I didn't hear that that was settled yet." And so they went on talking +about John Eames. + +"Joking apart," said Lily, "I am very glad that Lord de Guest has taken +him by the hand. Not that I think an earl is better than anybody else, +but because it shows that people are beginning to understand that he +has got something in him. I always said that they who laughed at John +would see him hold up his head yet." All which words sank deep into Mrs +Dale's mind. If only, in some coming time, her pet might be taught to +love this new young hero! But then would not that last heroic deed of +his militate most strongly against any possibility of such love! + +"And now I may as well be going," said the doctor, rising from his +chair. At this time Bell had left the room, but Mrs Dale was still +there. + +"You need not be in such a hurry, especially this evening," said Lily. + +"Why especially this evening?" + +"Because it will be the last. Sit down again, Dr Crofts. I've got a +little speech to make to you. I've been preparing it all the morning, +and you must give me an opportunity of speaking it." + +"I'll come the day after tomorrow, and I'll hear it then." + +"But I choose, sir, that you should hear it now. Am I riot to be obeyed +when I first get up on to my own throne? Dear, dear Dr Crofts, how am I +to thank you for all that you have done?" + +"How are any of us to thank him?" said Mrs Dale. + +"I hate thanks," said the doctor. "One kind glance of the eye is worth +them all, and I've had many such in this house." + +"You have our hearts' love, at any rate," said Mrs Dale. + +"God bless you all!" said he, as he prepared to go. + +"But I haven't made my speech yet," said Lily. "And to tell the truth, +mamma, you must go away, or I shall never be able to make it. It's very +improper, is it not, turning you out, but it shall only take three +minutes." Then Mrs Dale, with some little joking word, left the room; +but, as she left it, her mind was hardly at ease. Ought she to have +gone, leaving it to Lily's discretion to say what words he might think +fit to Dr Crofts? Hitherto she had never doubted her daughters--not even +their discretion; and therefore it had been natural to her to go when +she was bidden. But as she went downstairs she had her doubts whether +she was right or no. + +"Dr Crofts," said Lily, as soon as they were alone. "Sit down there, +close to me. I want to ask you a question. What was it you said to Bell +when you were alone with her the other evening in the parlour?" + +The doctor sat for a moment without answering, and Lily, who was +watching him closely, could see by the light of the fire that he had +been startled--had almost shuddered as the question was asked him. + +"What did I say to her?" and he repeated her words in a very low voice. + +"I asked her if she could love me, and be my wife." + +"And what answer did she make to you?" + +"What answer did she make? She simply refused me." + +"No, no, no; don't believe her, Dr Crofts. It was not so--I think it was +not so. Mind you, I can say nothing as coming from her. She has not +told me her own mind. But if you really love her, she will be mad to +refuse you." + +"I do love her, Lily; that at any rate is true." + +"Then go to her again. I am speaking for myself now. I cannot afford to +lose such a brother as you would be. I love you so dearly that I cannot +spare you. And she--I think she'll learn to love you as you would wish +to be loved. You know her nature, how silent she is, and averse to talk +about herself. She has confessed nothing to me but this--that you spoke +to her and took her by surprise. Are we to have another chance? I know +how wrong I am to ask such a question. But, after all, is not the truth +the best?" + +"Another chance!" + +"I know what you mean, and I think she is worthy to be your wife. I do, +indeed; and if so, she must be very worthy. You won't tell of me, will +you now, doctor?" + +"No; I won't tell of you." + +"And you'll try again?" + +"Yes; I'll try again." + +"God bless you, my brother! I hope--I hope you'll be my brother." Then, +as he put out his hand to her once more, she raised her head towards +him, and he, stooping down, kissed her forehead. + +"Make mamma come to me," were the last words she spoke as he went out +at the door. + +"So you've made your speech," said Mrs Dale. + +"Yes, mamma." + +"I hope it was a discreet speech." + +"I hope it was, mamma. But it has made me so tired, and I believe I'll +go to bed. Do you know I don't think I should have done much good down +at the school today?" + +Then Mrs Dale, in her anxiety to repair what injury might have been +done to her daughter by over-exertion, omitted any further mention of +the farewell speech. + +Dr Crofts as he rode home enjoyed but little of the triumph of a +successful lover. + +"It may be that she's right," he said to himself; "and, at any rate, +I'll ask again." Nevertheless, that "No" which Bell had spoken, and had +repeated, still sounded in his ears harsh and conclusive. There are men +to whom a peal of noes rattling about their ears never takes the sound +of a true denial, and others to whom the word once pronounced, be it +whispered ever so softly, comes as though it were an unchangeable +verdict from the supreme judgment-seat. + + + +CHAPTER XLIII + +FIE, FIE! + +Will any reader remember the loves--no, not the loves; that word is so +decidedly ill-applied as to be incapable of awakening the remembrance +of any reader; but the flirtations--of Lady Dumbello and Mr Plantagenet +Palliser? Those flirtations, as they had been carried on at Courcy +Castle, were laid bare in all their enormities to the eye of the +public, and it must be confessed that if the eye of the public was +shocked, that eye must be shocked very easily. + +But the eye of the public was shocked, and people who were particular +as to their morals said very strange things. Lady de Courcy herself +said very strange things indeed, shaking her head, and dropping +mysterious words; whereas Lady Clandidlem spoke much more openly, +declaring her opinion that Lady Dumbello would be off before May. They +both agreed that it would not be altogether bad for Lord Dumbello that +he should lose his wife, but shook their heads very sadly when they +spoke of poor Plantagenet Palliser. As to the lady's fate, that lady +whom they had both almost worshipped during the days at Courcy +Castle,--they did not seem to trouble themselves about that. + +And it must be admitted that Mr Palliser had been a little +imprudent--imprudent, that is, if he knew anything about the rumours +afloat--seeing that soon after his visit at Courcy Castle he had gone +down to Lady Hartletop's place in Shropshire, at which the Dumbellos +intended to spend the winter, and on leaving it had expressed his +intention of returning in February. The Hartletop people had pressed +him very much--the pressure having come with peculiar force from Lord +Dumbello. Therefore it is reasonable to suppose that the Hartletop +people had at any rate not heard of the rumour. + +Mr Plantagenet Palliser spent his Christmas with his uncle, the Duke of +Omnium, at Gatherum Castle. That is to say, he reached the castle in +time for dinner on Christmas eve, and left it on the morning after +Christmas day. This was in accordance with the usual practice of his +life, and the tenants, dependants, and followers of the Omnium interest +were always delighted to see this manifestation of a healthy English +domestic family feeling between the duke and his nephew. But the amount +of intercourse on such occasions between them was generally trifling. +The duke would smile as he put out his right hand to his nephew, and +say--"Well, Plantagenet--very busy, I suppose?" + +The duke was the only living being who called him Plantagenet to his +face, though there were some scores of men who talked of Planty Pal +behind his back. The duke had been the only living being so to call +him. Let us hope that it still was so, and that there had arisen no +feminine exception, dangerous in its nature and improper in its +circumstances. + +"Well, Plantagenet," said the duke, on the present occasion, "very +busy, I suppose? + +"Yes, indeed, duke," said Mr Palliser. + +"When a man gets the harness on him he does not easily get quit of it." + +The duke remembered that his nephew had made almost the same remark at +his last Christmas visit. + +"By-the-by," said the duke, "I want to say a word or two to you before +you go." + +Such a proposition on the duke's part was a great departure from his +usual practice, but the nephew of course undertook to obey his uncle's +behests. + +"I'll see you before dinner tomorrow," said Plantagenet. + +"Ah, do," said the duke. "I'll not keep you five minutes." And at six +o'clock on the following afternoon the two were closeted together in +the duke's private room. + +"I don't suppose there is much in it," began the duke, "but people are +talking about you and Lady Dumbello." + +"Upon my word, people are very kind." And Mr Palliser bethought himself +of the fact--for it certainly was a fact--that people for a great many +years had talked about his uncle and Lady Dumbello's mother-in-law. + +"Yes; kind enough; are they not? You've just come from Hartlebury, I +believe." Hartlebury was the Marquis of Hartletop's seat in Shropshire. + +"Yes, I have. And I'm going there again in February." + +"Ah, I'm sorry for that. Not that I mean, of course, to interfere with +your arrangements. You will acknowledge that I have not often done so, +in any matter whatever." + +"No; you have not," said the nephew, comforting himself with an inward +assurance that no such interference on his uncle's part could have been +possible. + +"But in this instance it would suit me, and I really think it would +suit you too, that you should be as little at Hartlebury as possible. +You have said you would go there, and of course you will go. But if I +were you, I would not stay above a day or two." + +Mr Plantagenet Palliser received everything he had in the world from +his uncle. He sat in Parliament through his uncle's interest, and +received an allowance of ever so many thousand a year which his uncle +could stop tomorrow by his mere word. He was his uncle's heir, and the +dukedom, with certain entailed properties, must ultimately fall to him, +unless his uncle should marry and have a son. But by far the greater +portion of the duke's property was unentailed; the duke might probably +live for the next twenty years or more; and it was quite possible that, +if offended, he might marry and become a father. It may be said that no +man could well be more dependent on another than Plantagenet Palliser +was upon his uncle; and it may be said also that no father or uncle +ever troubled his heir with less interference. Nevertheless, the nephew +immediately felt himself aggrieved by this allusion to his private +life, and resolved at once that he would not submit to such +surveillance. + +"I don't know how long I shall stay," said he; "but I cannot say that +my visit will be influenced one way or the other by such a rumour as +that." + +"No; probably not. But it may perhaps be influenced by my request." And +the duke, as he spoke, looked a little savage. + +"You wouldn't ask me to regard a report that has no foundation." + +"I am not asking about its foundation. Nor do I in the least wish to +interfere with your manner in life." By which last observation the duke +intended his nephew to understand that he was quite at liberty to take +away any other gentleman's wife, but that he was not at liberty to give +occasion even for a surmise that he wanted to take Lord Dumbello's +wife. "The fact is this, Plantagenet. I have for many years been +intimate with that family. I have not many intimacies, and shall +probably never increase them. Such friends as I have, I wish to keep, +and you will easily perceive that any such, report as that which I have +mentioned, might make it unpleasant for me to go to Hartlebury, or for +the Hartlebury people to come here." The duke certainly could not have +spoken plainer, and Mr Palliser understood him thoroughly. Two such +alliances between the two families could not be expected to run +pleasantly together, and even the rumour of any such second alliance +might interfere with the pleasantness of the former one. + +"That's all," said the duke. + +"It's a most absurd slander," said Mr Palliser. + +"I dare say. Those slanders always are absurd; but what can we do? We +can't tie up people's tongues." And the duke looked as though he wished +to have the subject considered as finished, and to be left alone. + +"But we can disregard them," said the nephew, indiscreetly. + +"You may. I have never been able to do so. And yet, I believe, I have +not earned for myself the reputation of being subject to the voices of +men. You think that I am asking much of you; but you should remember +that hitherto I have given much and have asked nothing. I expect you to +oblige me in this matter." + +Then Mr Plantagenet Palliser left the room, knowing that he had been +threatened. What the duke had said amounted to this--If you go on +dangling after Lady Dumbello, I'll stop the seven thousand a year which +I give you. I'll oppose your next return at Silverbridge, and I'll make +a will and leave away from you Matching and The Horns--a beautiful +little place in Surrey, the use of which had been already offered to Mr +Palliser in the event of his marriage; all the Littlebury estate in +Yorkshire, and the enormous Scotch property. Of my personal goods, and +money invested in loans, shares, and funds, you shall never touch a +shilling, or the value of a shilling. And, if I find that I can suit +myself, it may be that I'll leave you plain Mr Plantagenet Palliser, +with a little first cousin for the head of your family. + +The full amount of this threat Mr Palliser understood, and, as he +thought of it, he acknowledged to himself that he had never felt for +Lady Dumbello anything like love. No conversation between them had ever +been warmer than that of which the reader has seen a sample. Lady +Dumbello had been nothing to him. But now--now that the matter had been +put before him in this way, might it not become him, as a gentleman, to +fall in love with so very beautiful a woman, whose name had already +been linked with his own? We all know that story of the priest, who, by +his question in the confessional, taught the ostler to grease the +horses teeth. "I never did yet," said the ostler, "but I'll have a try +at it." In this case, the duke had acted the part of the priest, and Mr +Palliser, before the night was over, had almost become as ready a pupil +as the ostler. As to the threat, it would ill become him, as a Palliser +and a Plantagenet, to regard it. The duke would not marry. Of all men +in the world he was the least likely to spite his own face by cutting +off his own nose; and, for the rest of it, Mr Palliser would take his +chance. Therefore he went down to Hartlebury early in February, having +fully determined to be very particular in his attentions to Lady +Dumbello. + +Among a houseful of people at Hartlebury, he found Lord Porlock, a +slight, sickly, worn-out looking man, who had something about his eye +of his father's hardness, but nothing in his mouth of his father's +ferocity. + +"So your sister's going to be married?" said Mr Palliser. + +"Yes. One has no right to be surprised at anything they do, when one +remembers the life their father leads them." + +"I was going to congratulate you." + +"Don't do that." + +"I met him at Courcy, and rather liked him." + +Mr Palliser had barely spoken to Mr Crosbie at Courcy, but then in the +usual course of his social life he seldom did more than barely speak to +anybody. + +"Did you?" said Lord Porlock. "For the poor girl's sake I hope he's not +a ruffian. How any man should propose to my father to marry a daughter +out of his house, is more than I can understand. How was my mother +looking?" + +"I didn't see anything amiss about her." + +"I expect that he'll murder her some day." Then that conversation came +to an end. + +Mr Palliser himself perceived--as he looked at her he could not but +perceive--that a certain amount of social energy seemed to enliven Lady +Dumbello when he approached her. She was given to smile when addressed, +but her usual smile was meaningless, almost leaden, and never in any +degree flattering to the person to whom it was accorded. Very many +women smile as they answer the words which are spoken to them, and most +who do so flatter by their smile. The thing is so common that no one +thinks of it. The flattering pleases, but means nothing. The impression +unconsciously taken simply conveys a feeling that the woman has made +herself agreeable, as it was her duty to do--agreeable, as far as that +smile went, in some very infinitesimal degree. But she has thereby made +her little contribution to society. She will make the same contribution +a hundred times in the same evening. No one knows that she has +flattered anybody; she does not know it herself; and the world calls +her an agreeable woman. But Lady Dumbello put no flattery into her +customary smiles. They were cold, unmeaning, accompanied by no special +glance of the eye, and seldom addressed to the individual. They were +given to the room at large; and the room at large, acknowledging her +great pretensions, accepted them as sufficient. But when Mr Palliser +came near to her she would turn herself slightly, ever so slightly, on +her seat, and would allow her eyes to rest for a moment upon his face. +Then when he remarked that it had been rather cold, she would smile +actually upon him as she acknowledged the truth of his observation. All +this Mr Palliser taught himself to observe, having been instructed by +his foolish uncle in that lesson as to the greasing of the horses' +teeth. + +But, nevertheless, during the first week of his stay at Hartlebury, he +did not say a word to her more tender than his observation about the +weather. It is true that he was very busy. He had undertaken to speak +upon the address, and as Parliament was now about to be opened, and as +his speech was to be based upon statistics, he was full of figures and +papers. His correspondence was pressing, and the day was seldom long +enough for his purposes. He felt that the intimacy to which he aspired +was hindered by the laborious routine of his life; but nevertheless he +would do something before he left Hartlebury, to show the special +nature of his regard. He would say something to her, that should open +to her view the secret of--shall we say his heart? Such was his resolve, +day after day. And yet day after day went by, and nothing was said. He +fancied that Lord Dumbello was somewhat less friendly in his manner +than he had been, that he put himself in the way and looked cross; but, +as he declared to himself, he cared very little for Lord Dumbello's +looks. + +"When do you go to town?" he said to her one evening. + +"Probably in April. We certainly shall not leave Hartlebury before +that." + +"Ah, yes. You stay for the hunting." + +"Yes; Lord Dumbello always remains here through March. He may run up to +town for a day or two." + +"How comfortable! I must be in London on Thursday, you know." + +"When Parliament meets, I suppose? + +"Exactly. It is such a bore; but one has to do it." + +"When a man makes a business of it, I suppose he must." + +"Oh, dear, yes; it's quite imperative." Then Mr Palliser looked round +the room, and thought he saw Lord Dumbello's eye fixed upon him. It was +really very hard work. If the truth must be told, he did not know how +to begin. What was he to say to her? How was he to commence a +conversation that should end by being tender? She was very handsome +certainly, and for him she could look interesting; but for his very +life he did not know how to begin to say anything special to her. A +liaison with such a woman as Lady Dumbello--platonic, innocent, but +nevertheless very intimate--would certainly lend a grace to his life, +which, under its present circumstances, was rather dry. He was +told--told by public rumour, which had reached him through his +uncle--that the lady was willing. She certainly looked as though she +liked him; but how was he to begin? The art of startling the House of +Commons and frightening the British public by the voluminous accuracy +of his statistics he had already learned; but what was he to say to a +pretty woman? + +"You'll be sure to be in London in April?" This was on another occasion. + +"Oh, yes; I think so." + +"In Carlton Gardens, I suppose." + +"Yes; Lord Dumbello has got a lease of the house now." + +"Has he, indeed? Ah, it's an excellent house. I hope I shall be allowed +to call there sometimes." + +"Certainly--only I know you must be so busy." + +"Not on Saturdays and Sundays." + +"I always receive on Sundays," said Lady Dumbello. Mr Palliser felt +that there was nothing peculiarly gracious in this. A permission to +call when all her other acquaintances would be there, was not much; but +still, perhaps, it was as much as he could expect to obtain on that +occasion. He looked up and saw that Lord Dumbello's eyes were again +upon him, and that Lord Dumbello's brow was black. He began to doubt +whether a country house, where all the people were thrown together, was +the best place in the world for such manoeuvring. Lady Dumbello was +very handsome, and he liked to look at her, but he could not find any +subject on which to interest her in that drawing-room at Hartlebury. +Later in the evening he found himself saying something to her about the +sugar duties, and then he knew that he had better give it up. He had +only one day more, and that was required imperatively for his speech. +The matter would go much easier in London and he would postpone it till +then. In the crowded rooms of London private conversation would be much +easier, and Lord Dumbello wouldn't stand over and look at him. Lady +Dumbello had taken his remarks about the sugar very kindly, and had +asked for a definition of an ad valorem duty. It was a nearer approach +to a real conversation than he had ever before made; but the subject +had been unlucky, and could not, in his hands, be brought round to +anything tender; so he resolved to postpone his gallantry till the +London spring should make it easy, and felt as he did so that he was +relieved for the time from a heavy weight. + +"Good-bye, Lady Dumbello," he said, on the next evening. "I start early +tomorrow morning." + +"Good-bye, Mr Palliser." + +As she spoke she smiled ever so sweetly, but she certainly had not +learned to call him Plantagenet as yet. He went up to London and +immediately got himself to work. The accurate and voluminous speech +came off with considerable credit to himself--credit of that quiet, +enduring kind which is accorded to such men. The speech was +respectable, dull, and correct. Men listened to it, or sat with their +hats over their eyes, asleep, pretending to do so; and the Daily +Jupiter in the morning had a leading article about it, which, however, +left the reader at its close altogether in doubt whether Mr Palliser +might be supposed to be a great financial pundit or no. Mr Palliser +might become a shining light to the moneyed world, and a glory to the +banking interests; he might be a future Chancellor of the Exchequer. +But then again, it might turn out that, in these affairs, he was a mere +ignis fatuus, a blind guide--a man to be laid aside as very respectable, +but of no depth. Who, then, at the present time, could judiciously risk +his credit by declaring whether Mr Palliser understood his subject or +did not understand it? We are not content in looking to our newspapers +for all the information that earth and human intellect can afford; but +we demand from them what we might demand if a daily sheet could come to +us from the world of spirits. The result, of course, is this--that the +papers do pretend that they have come daily from the world of spirits; +but the oracles are very doubtful, as were those of old. + +Plantagenet Palliser, though he was contented with this article, felt, +as he sat in his chambers in the Albany, that something else was +wanting to his happiness. This sort of life was all very well. Ambition +was a grand thing, and it became him, as a Palliser and a future peer, +to make politics his profession. But might he not spare an hour or two +for Amaryllis in the shade? Was it not hard, this life of his? Since he +had been told that Lady Dumbello smiled upon him, he had certainly +thought more about her smiles than had been good for his statistics. It +seemed as though a new vein in his body had been brought into use, and +that blood was running where blood had never run before. If he had seen +Lady Dumbello before Dumbello had seen her, might he not have married +her? Ah! in such case as that, had she been simply Miss Grantly, or +Lady Griselda Grantly, as the case might have been, he thought he might +have been able to speak to her with more ease. As it was, he certainly +had found the task difficult, down in the country, though he had heard +of men of his class doing the same sort of thing all his life. For my +own part, I believe, that the reputed sinners are much more numerous +than the sinners. + +As he sat there, a certain Mr Fothergill came in upon him. Mr +Fothergill was a gentleman who managed most of his uncle's ordinary +affairs--a clever fellow, who knew on which side his bread was buttered. +Mr Fothergill was naturally anxious to stand well with the heir; but to +stand well with the owner was his business in life, and with that +business he never allowed anything to interfere. On this occasion Mr +Fothergill was very civil, complimenting his future possible patron on +his very powerful speech, and predicting for him political power with +much more certainty than the newspapers which had, or had not, come +from the world of spirits. Mr Fothergill had come in to say a word or +two about some matter of business. As all Mr Palliser's money passed +through Mr Fothergill's hands, and as his electioneering interests were +managed by Mr Fothergill, Mr Fothergill not infrequently called to say +a necessary word or two. When this was clone he said another word or +two, which might be necessary or not, as the case might be. + +"Mr Palliser," said he, "I wonder you don't think of marrying. I hope +you'll excuse me." + +Mr Palliser was by no means sure that he would excuse him, and sat +himself suddenly upright in his chair in a manner that was intended to +exhibit a first symptom of outraged dignity. But, singularly enough, he +had himself been thinking of marriage at that moment. How would it have +been with him had he known the beautiful Griselda before the Dumbello +alliance had been arranged? Would he have married her? Would he have +been comfortable if he had married her? Of course he could not marry +now, seeing that he was in love with Lady Dumbello, and that the lady +in question, unfortunately, had a husband of her own; but though he had +been thinking of marrying, he did not like to have the subject thus +roughly thrust before his eyes, and, as it were, into his very lap by +his uncle's agent. Mr Fothergill, no doubt, saw the first symptom of +outraged dignity, for he was a clever, sharp man. But, perhaps, he did +not; in truth much regard it. Perhaps he had received instructions +which he was bound to regard above all other matters. + +"I hope you'll excuse me, Mr Palliser, I do, indeed; but I say it +because I am half afraid of some--some--some diminution of good feeling, +perhaps, I had better call it, between you and your uncle. Anything of +that kind would be such a monstrous pity." + +"I am not aware of any such probability." + +This Mr Palliser said with considerable dignity; but when the words +were spoken he bethought himself whether he had not told a fib. + +"No; perhaps not. I trust there is no such probability. But the duke is +a very determined man if he takes anything into his head--and then he +has so much in his power." + +"He has not me in his power, Mr Fothergill." + +"No, no, no. One man does not have another in his power in this +country--not in that way; but then you know, Mr Palliser, it would +hardly do to offend him; would it?" + +"I would rather not offend him, as is natural. Indeed, I do not wish to +offend any one." + +"Exactly so; and least of all the duke, who has the whole property in +his own hands. We may say the whole, for he can marry tomorrow if he +pleases. And then his life is so good. I don't know a stouter man of his +age, anywhere." + +"I'm very glad to hear it." + +"I'm sure you are, Mr Palliser. But if he were to take offence, you +know?" + +"I should put up with it." + +"Yes, exactly; that's what you would do. But it would be worth while to +avoid it, seeing how much he has in his power." + +"Has the duke sent you to me now, Mr Fothergill? + +"No, no, no--nothing of the sort. But he dropped words the other day +which made me fancy that he was not quite--quite--quite at ease about +you. I have long known that he would be very glad indeed to see an heir +born to the property. The other morning--I don't know whether there was +anything in it--but I fancied he was going to make some change in the +present arrangements. He did not do it, and it might have been fancy. +Only think, Mr Palliser, what one word of his might do! If he says a +word, he never goes back from it." Then, having said so much, Mr +Fothergill went his way. + +Mr Palliser understood the meaning of all this very well. It was not +the first occasion on which Mr Fothergill had given him advice--advice +such as Mr Fothergill himself had no right to give him. He always +received such counsel with an air of half-injured dignity, intending +thereby to explain to Mr Fothergill that he was intruding. But he knew +well whence the advice came; and though, in all such cases, he had made +up his mind not to follow such counsel, it had generally come to pass +that Mr Palliser's conduct had more or less accurately conformed itself +to Mr Fothergill's advice. A word from the duke might certainly do a +great deal! Mr Palliser resolved that in that affair of Lady Dumbello +he would follow his own devices. But, nevertheless, it was undoubtedly +true that a word from the duke might do a great deal! + +We, who are in the secret, know how far Mr Palliser had already +progressed in his iniquitous passion before he left Hartlebury. Others, +who were perhaps not so well informed, gave him credit for a much more +advanced success. Lady Clandidlem, in her letter to Lady de Courcy, +written immediately after the departure of Mr Palliser, declared that, +having heard of that gentleman's intended matutinal departure, she had +confidently expected to learn at the breakfast-table that Lady Dumbello +had flown with him. From the tone of her ladyship's language, it seemed +as though she had been robbed of an anticipated pleasure by Lady +Dumbello's prolonged sojourn in the halls of her husband's ancestors. +"I feel, however, quite convinced," said Lady Clandidlem, "that it cannot +go on longer than the spring. I never yet saw a man so infatuated as Mr +Palliser. He did not leave her for one moment all the time he was here. +No one but Lady Hartletop would have permitted it. But, you know, there +is nothing so pleasant as good old family friendships." + + + +CHAPTER XLIV + +VALENTINE'S DAY AT ALLINGTON + +Lily had exacted a promise from her mother before her illness, and +during the period of her convalescence often referred to it, reminding +her mother that that promise had been made, and must be kept. Lily was +to be told the day on which Crosbie was to be married. It had come to +the knowledge of them all that the marriage was to take place in +February. But this was not sufficient for Lily. She must know the day. + +And as the time drew nearer--Lily becoming stronger the while, and less +subject to medical authority--the marriage of Crosbie and Alexandrina +was spoken of much more frequently at the Small House. It was not a +subject which Mrs Dale or Bell would have chosen for conversation; but +Lily would refer to it. She would begin by doing so almost in a +drolling strain, alluding to herself as a forlorn damsel in a +play-book; and then she would go on to speak of his interests as a +matter which was still of great moment to her. But in the course of +such talking she would too often break down, showing by some sad word +or melancholy tone how great was the burden on her heart. Mrs Dale and +Bell would willingly have avoided the subject, but Lily would not have +it avoided. For them it was a very difficult matter on which to speak +in her hearing. It was not permitted to them to say a word of abuse +against Crosbie, as to whom they thought that no word of condemnation +could be sufficiently severe; and they were forced to listen to such +excuses for his conduct as Lily chose to manufacture, never daring to +point out how vain those excuses were. + +Indeed, in those days Lily reigned as a queen at the Small House. +ill-usage and illness together falling into her hands had given her +such power, that none of the other women were able to withstand it. +Nothing was said about it; but it was understood by them all, Jane and +the cook included, that Lily was for the time paramount. She was a +dear, gracious, loving, brave queen, and no one was anxious to +rebel--only that those praises of Crosbie were so very bitter in the +ears of her subjects. The day was named soon enough, and the tidings +came down to Allington. On the fourteenth of February, Crosbie was to +be made a happy man. This was not known to the Dales till the twelfth, +and they would willingly have spared the knowledge then, had it been +possible to spare it. But it was not so, and on that evening Lily was +told. + +During these days, Bell used to see her uncle daily. Her visits were +made with the pretence of taking to him information as to Lily's +health; but there was perhaps at the bottom of them a feeling that, as +the family intended to leave the Small House at the end of March, it +would he well to let the squire know that there was no enmity in their +hearts against him. Nothing more had been said about their +moving--nothing, that is, from them to him. But the matter was going on, +and he knew it. Dr Crofts was already in treaty on their behalf for a +small furnished house at Guestwick. The squire was very sad about +it--very sad indeed. When Hopkins spoke to him on the subject, he +sharply desired that faithful gardener to hold his tongue, giving it to +be understood that such things were not to be made matter of talk by +the Allington dependants till they had been officially announced. With +Bell during these visits he never alluded to the matter. She was the +chief sinner, in that she had refused to marry her cousin, and had +declined even to listen to rational counsel upon the matter. But the +squire felt that he could not discuss the subject with her, seeing that +he had been specially informed by Mrs Dale that his interference would +not be permitted; and then he was perhaps aware that if he did discuss +the subject with Bell, he would not gain much by such discussion. Their +conversation, therefore, generally fell upon Crosbie, and the tone in +which he was mentioned in the Great House was very different from that +assumed in Lily's presence. + +"He'll be a wretched man," said the squire, when he told Bell of the +day that had been fixed. + +"I don't want him to be wretched," said Bell. "But I can hardly think +that he can act as he has done without being punished." + +"He will be a wretched man. He gets no fortune with her, and she will +expect everything that fortune can give. I believe, too, that she is +older than he is. I cannot understand it. Upon my word, I cannot +understand how a man can be such a knave and such a fool. Give my love +to Lily. I'll see her tomorrow or the next day. She's well rid of him; +I'm sure of that--though I suppose it would not do to tell her so." + +The morning of the fourteenth came upon them at the Small House, as +comes the morning of those special days which have been long +considered, and which are to be long remembered. It brought with it a +hard, bitter frost--a black, biting frost--such a frost as breaks the +water-pipes, and binds the ground to the hardness of granite. Lily, +queen as she was, had not yet been allowed to go back to her own +chamber, but occupied the larger bed in her mother's room, her mother +sleeping on a smaller one. + +"Mamma," she said, "how cold they'll be!" Her mother had announced to +her the fact of the black frost, and these were the first words she +spoke. + +"I fear their hearts will be cold also," said Mrs Dale. She ought not +to have said so. She was transgressing the acknowledged rule of the +house in saying any word that could be construed as being inimical to +Crosbie or his bride. But her feeling on the matter was too strong, and +she could not restrain herself. + +"Why should their hearts be cold? Oh, mamma, that is a terrible thing +to say. Why should their hearts be cold?" + +"I hope it may not be so." + +"Of course you do; of course we all hope it. He was not cold-hearted, +at any rate. A man is not cold-hearted, because he does not know +himself. Mamma, I want you to wish for their happiness." + +Mrs Dale was silent for a minute or two before she answered this, but +then she did answer it. "I think I do," said she. "I think I do wish +for it." + +"I am very sure that I do," said Lily. + +At this time Lily had her breakfast upstairs, but went down into the +drawing-room in the course of the morning. + +"You must be very careful in wrapping yourself as you go downstairs," +said Bell, who stood by the tray on which she had brought up the toast +and tea. "The cold is what you would call awful." + +"I should call it jolly," said Lily, "if I could get up and go out. Do +you remember lecturing me about talking slang the day that he first +came? + +"Did I, my pet? + +"Don't you remember, when I called him a swell? Ah, dear! so he was. +That was the mistake, and it was all my own fault, as I had seen it +from the first." + +Bell for a moment turned her face away, and beat with her foot against +the ground. Her anger was more difficult of restraint than was even her +mother's--and now, not restraining it, but wishing to hide it, she gave +it vent in this way. + +"I understand, Bell. I know what your foot means when it goes in that +way; and you shan't do it. Come here, Bell, and let me teach you +Christianity. I'm a fine sort of teacher, am I not? And I did not quite +mean that." + +"I wish I could learn it from some one," said Bell. "There are +circumstances in which what we call Christianity seems to me to be +hardly possible." + +"When your foot goes in that way it is a very unchristian foot, and you +ought to keep it still. It means anger against him, because he +discovered before it was too late that he would not be happy--that is, +that he and I would not be happy together if we were married." + +"Don't scrutinise my foot too closely, Lily." + +"But your foot must bear scrutiny, and your eyes, and your voice. He +was very foolish to fall in love with me. And so was I very foolish to +let him love me, at a moment's notice--without a thought as it were. I +was so proud of having him, that I gave myself up to him all at once, +without giving him a chance of thinking of it. In a week or two it was +done. Who could expect that such an engagement should be lasting?" + +"And why not? That is nonsense, Lily. But we will not talk about it." + +"Ah, but I want to talk about it. It was as I have said, and if so, you +shouldn't hate him because he did the only thing which he honestly +could do when he found out his mistake." + +"What; become engaged again within a week!" + +"There had been a very old friendship, Bell; you must remember that. +But I was speaking of his conduct to me, and not of his conduct to--" +And then she remembered that that other lady might at this very moment +possess the name which she had once been so proud to think that she +would bear herself. "Bell," she said, stopping her other speech +suddenly, "at what o'clock do people get married in London?" + +"Oh, at all manner of hours--any time before twelve. They will be +fashionable, and will be married late." + +"You don't think she's Mrs Crosbie yet, then? + +"Lady Alexandrina Crosbie," said Bell, shuddering. +"Yes, of course; I forgot. I should so like to see her. I feel such an +interest about her. I wonder what coloured hair she has. I suppose she +is a sort of Juno of a woman--very tall and handsome. I'm sure she has +not got a pug-nose like me. Do you know what I should really like, only +of course it's not possible--to be godmother to his first child." + +"Oh, Lily!" + +"I should. Don't you hear me say that I know it's not possible? I'm not +going up to London to ask her. She'll have all manner of grandees for +her godfathers and godmothers. I wonder what those grand people are +really like." + +"I don't think there's any difference. Look at Lady Julia." + +"Oh, she's not a grand person. It isn't merely having a title. Don't +you remember that he told us that Mr Palliser is about the grandest +grandee of them all. I suppose people do learn to like them. He always +used to say that he had been so long among people of that sort, that it +would be very difficult for him to divide himself off from them. I +should never have done for that kind of thing; should I?" + +"There is nothing I despise so much as what you call that kind of +thing." + +"Do you? I don't. After all, think how much work they do. He used to +tell me of that. They have all the governing in their hands, and get +very little money for doing it." + +"Worse luck for the country." + +"The country seems to do pretty well. But you're a radical, Bell. My +belief is, you wouldn't be a lady if you could help it." + +"I'd sooner be an honest woman." + +"And so you are--my own dear, dearest, honest Bell--and the fairest lady +that I know. If I were a man, Bell, you are just the girl that I should +worship." + +"But you are not a man; so it's no good." + +"But you mustn't let your foot go astray in that way; you mustn't, +indeed. Somebody said, that whatever is, is right, and I declare I +believe it." + +"I'm sometimes inclined to think, that whatever is, is wrong." + +"That's because you're a radical. I think I'll get up now, Bell; only +it's so frightfully cold that I'm afraid." + +"There's a beautiful fire," said Bell. + +"Yes; I see. But the fire won't go all around me, like the bed does. I +wish I could know the very moment when they're at the altar. It's only +half-past ten yet." + +"I shouldn't be at all surprised if it's over." +"Over! What a word that is! A thing like that is over, and then all the +world cannot put it back again. What if he should be unhappy after all?" + +"He must take his chance," said Bell, thinking within her own mind that +that chance would be a very bad one. + +"Of course he must take his chance. well-I'll get up now." And then she +took her first step out into the cold world beyond her bed. "We must +all take our chance. I have made up my mind that it will be at +half-past eleven." + +When half-past eleven came, she was seated in a large easy chair over +the drawing-room fire, with a little table by her side, on which a +novel was lying. She had not opened her book that morning, and had been +sitting for some time perfectly silent, with her eyes closed, and her +watch in her hand. + +"Mamma," she said at last, "it is over now, I'm sure." + +"What is over, my dear? + +"He has made that lady his wife. I hope God will bless them, and I pray +that they may be happy." As she spoke these words, there was an +unwonted solemnity in her tone which startled Mrs Dale and Bell. + +"I also will hope so," said Mrs Dale. "And now, Lily, will it not be +well that you should turn your mind away from the subject, and +endeavour to think of other things?" + +"But I can't, mamma. It is so easy to say that; but people can't choose +their own thoughts." + +"They can usually direct them as they will, if they make the effort." + +"But I can't make the effort. Indeed, I don't know why I should. It +seems natural to me to think about him, and I don't suppose it can be +very wrong. When you have had so deep an interest in a person, you +can't drop him all of a sudden." Then there was again silence, and +after a while Lily took up her novel. She made that effort of which her +mother had spoken, but she made it altogether in vain. "I declare, +Bell," she said, "it's the greatest rubbish I ever attempted to read." +This was specially ungrateful, because Bell had recommended the book. +"All the books have got to be so stupid! I think I'll read Pilgrim's +Progress again." + +"What do you say to Robinson Crusoe?" said Bell. + +"Or Paul and Virginia?" said Lily. "But I believe I'll have Pilgrim's +Progress. I never can understand it, but I rather think that makes it +nicer." + +"I hate books I can't understand," said Bell. "I like a book to be +clear as running water, so that the whole meaning may be seen at once." + +"The quick seeing of the meaning must depend a little on the reader, +must it not? "said Mrs Dale. + +"The reader mustn't be a fool, of course," said Bell. +"But then so many readers are fools," said Lily. "And yet they get +something out of their reading. Mrs Crump is always poring over the +Revelations, and nearly knows them by heart. I don't think she could +interpret a single image, but she has a hazy, misty idea of the truth. +That's why she likes it--because it's too beautiful to be understood; +and that's why I like Pilgrim's Progress." After which Bell offered to +get the book in question. + +"No, not now," said Lily. "I'll go on with this, as you say it's so +grand. The personages are always in their tantrums and go on as though +they were mad. Mamma, do you know where they're going for the +honeymoon?" + +"No, my dear." + +"He used to talk to me about going to the lakes." And then there was +another pause, during which Bell observed that her mother's face became +clouded with anxiety. "But I won't think of it any more," continued +Lily; "I will fix my mind to something." And then she got up from her +chair. "I don't think it would have been so difficult if I had not been +ill?" + +"Of course it would not, my darling." + +"And I'm going to be well again now, immediately. Let me see: I was +told to read Carlyle's History of the French Revolution, and I think +I'll begin now." It was Crosbie who had told her to read the book, as +both Bell and Mrs Dale were well aware. "But I must put it off till I +can get it down from the other house." + +"Jane shall fetch it, if you really want it," said Mrs Dale. + +"Bell shall get it, when she goes up in the afternoon; will you, Bell? +And I'll try to get on with this stuff in the meantime." Then again she +sat with her eyes fixed upon the pages of the book. "I'll tell you +what, mamma--you may have some comfort in this: that when today's gone +by, I shan't make a fuss about any other day." + +"Nobody thinks that you are making a fuss, Lily." + +"Yes, but I am. Isn't it odd, Bell, that it should take place on +Valentine's day? I wonder whether it was so settled on purpose, because +of the day. Oh, dear, I used to think so often of the letter that I +should get from him on this day, when he would tell me that I was his +valentine. Well; he's got another-valen-tine-now." So much she said +with articulate voice, and then she broke down, bursting out into +convulsive sobs, and crying in her mother's arms as though she would +break her heart. And yet her heart was not broken, and she was still +strong in that resolve which she had made, that her grief should not +overpower her. As she had herself said, the thing would not have been +so difficult, had she not been weakened by illness. + +"Lily, my darling; my poor, ill-used darling." + +"No, mamma, I won't be that." And she struggled grievously to get the +better of the hysterical attack which had overpowered her. "I won't be +regarded as ill-used; not as specially ill-used. But I am your darling, +your own darling. Only I wish you'd beat me and thump me when I'm such +a fool, instead of pitying me. It's a great mistake being soft to +people when they make fools of themselves. There, Bell; there's your +stupid book, and I won't have any more of it. I believe it was that +that did it." And she pushed the book away from her. + +After this little scene she said no further word about Crosbie and his +bride on that day, but turned the conversation towards the prospect of +their new house at Guestwick. + +"It will be a great comfort to be nearer Dr Crofts; won't it, Bell?" + +"I don't know," said Bell. + +"Because if we are ill, he won't have such a terrible distance to come?" + +"That will be a comfort for him, I should think," said Bell, very +demurely. + +In the evening the first volume of the French Revolution had been +procured, and Lily stuck to her reading with laudable perseverance; +till at eight her mother insisted on her going to bed, queen as she was. + +"I don't believe a bit, you know, that the king was such a bad man as +that," she said. + +"I do," said Bell. + +"Ah, that's because you're a radical. I never will believe that kings +are so much worse than other people. As for Charles the First, he was +about the best man in history." + +This was an old subject of dispute; but Lily on the present occasion +was allowed her own way--as being an invalid. + + + +CHAPTER XLV + +VALENTINE'S DAY IN LONDON + +The fourteenth of February in London was quite as black, and cold, and +as wintersome as it was at Allington, and was, perhaps, somewhat more +melancholy in its coldness. Nevertheless Lady Alexandrina de Courcy +looked as bright as bridal finery could make her, when she got out of +her carriage and walked into St. James's church at eleven o'clock on +that morning. + +It had been finally arranged that the marriage should take place in +London. There were certainly many reasons which would have made a +marriage from Courcy Castle more convenient. The De Courcy family were +all assembled at their country family residence, and could therefore +have been present at the ceremony without cost or trouble. The castle +too was warm with the warmth of life, and the pleasantness of home +would have lent a grace to the departure of one of the daughters of the +house. The retainers and servants were there, and something of the rich +mellowness of a noble alliance might have been felt, at any rate by +Crosbie, at a marriage so celebrated. + +And it must have been acknowledged, even by Lady de Courcy, that the +house in Portman Square was very cold--that a marriage from thence would +be cold--that there could be no hope of attaching to it any honour and +glory, or of making it resound with fashionable clat in the columns of +the Morning Post. But then, had they been married in the country, the +earl would have been there; whereas there was no probability of his +travelling up to London for the purpose of being present on such an +occasion. + +The earl was very terrible in these days, and Alexandrina, as she +became confidential in her communications with her future husband, +spoke of him as of an ogre, who could not by any means be avoided in +all the concerns of life, but whom one might shun now and again by some +subtle device and careful arrangement of favourable circumstances. +Crosbie had more than once taken upon himself to hint that he did not +specially regard the ogre, seeing that for the future he could keep +himself altogether apart from the malicious monster's dominions. + +"He will not come to me in our new home," he had said to his love, with +some little touch of affection. But to this view of the case Lady +Alexandrina had demurred. The ogre in question was not only her parent, +but was also a noble peer, and she could not agree to any arrangement +by which their future connection with the earl, and with nobility in +general, might be endangered. Her parent, doubtless, was an ogre, and +in his ogreship could make himself very terrible to those near him; but +then might it not be better for them to be near to an earl who was an +ogre, than not to be near to any earl at all? She had therefore +signified to Crosbie that the ogre must be endured. + +But, nevertheless, it was a great thing to be rid of him on that happy +occasion. He would have said very dreadful things--things so dreadful +that there might have been a question whether the bridegroom could have +borne them. Since he had heard of Crosbie's accident at the railway +station, he had constantly talked with fiendish glee of the beating +which had been administered to his son-in-law. Lady de Courcy in taking +Crosbie's part, and maintaining that the match was fitting for her +daughter, had ventured to declare before her husband that Crosbie was a +man of fashion, and the earl would now ask, with a loathsome grin, +whether the bridegroom's fashion had been improved by his little +adventure at Paddington. Crosbie, to whom all this was not repeated, +would have preferred a wedding in the country. But the countess and +Lady Alexandrina knew better. + +The earl had strictly interdicted any expenditure, and the countess had +of necessity construed this as forbidding any unnecessary expense. "To +marry a girl without any immediate cost was a thing which nobody could +understand," as the countess remarked to her eldest daughter. + +"I would really spend as little as possible," Lady Amelia had answered. +"You see, mamma, there are circumstances about it which one doesn't +wish to have talked about just at present. There's the story of that +girl--and then that fracas at the station. I really think it ought to be +as quiet as possible." The good sense of Lady Amelia was not to be +disputed, as her mother acknowledged. But then if the marriage were +managed in any notoriously quiet way, the very notoriety of that quiet +would be as dangerous as an attempt at loud glory. "But it won't cost +as much," said Amelia. And thus it had been resolved that the wedding +should be very quiet. + +To this Crosbie had assented very willingly, though he had not relished +the manner in which the countess had explained to him her views. + +"I need not tell you, Adolphus," she had said, "how thoroughly +satisfied I am with this marriage. My dear girl feels that she can be +happy as your wife, and what more can I want? I declared to her and to +Amelia that I was not ambitious, for their sakes, and have allowed them +both to please themselves." + +"I hope they have pleased themselves," said Crosbie. + +"I trust so; but nevertheless--I don't know whether I make myself +understood? + +"Quite so, Lady de Courcy. If Alexandrina were going to marry the +eldest son of a marquis, you would have a longer procession to church +than will be necessary when she marries me." + +"You put it in such an odd way, Adolphus." + +"It's all right so long as we understand each other. I can assure you I +don't want any procession at all. I should be quite contented to go +down with Alexandrina, arm in arm, like Darby and Joan, and let the +clerk give her away." + +We may say that he would have been much better contented could he have +been allowed to go down the street without any encumbrance on his arm. +But there was no possibility now for such deliverance as that. + +Both Lady Amelia and Mr Gazebee had long since discovered the +bitterness of his heart and the fact of his repentance, and Gazebee had +ventured to suggest to his wife that his noble sister-in-law was +preparing for herself a life of misery. + +"He'll become quiet and happy when he's used to it," Lady Amelia had +replied, thinking, perhaps, of her own experiences. + +"I don't know, my dear; he's not a quiet man. There's something in his +eye which tells me that he could be very hard to a woman." + +"It has gone too far now for any change," Lady Amelia had answered. + +"Well; perhaps it has." + +"And I know my sister so well; she would not hear of it. I really think +they will do very well when they become used to each other." + +Mr Gazebee, who also had had his own experiences, hardly dared to hope +so much. His home had been satisfactory to him, because he had been a +calculating man, and having made his calculation correctly was willing +to take the net result. He had done so all his life with success. In +his house his wife was paramount--as he very well knew. But no effort on +his wife's part, had she wished to make such effort, could have forced +him to spend more than two-thirds of his income. Of this she also was +aware, and had trimmed her sails accordingly, likening herself to him +in this respect. But of such wisdom, and such trimmings, and such +adaptability, what likelihood was there with Mr Crosbie and Lady +Alexandrina? + +"At any rate, it is too late now," said Lady Amelia, thus concluding +the conversation. + +But nevertheless, when the last moment came, there was some little +attempt at glory. Who does not know the way in which a lately married +couple's little dinner-party stretches itself out from the pure +simplicity of a fried sole and a leg of mutton to the attempt at clear +soup, the unfortunately cold dish of round balls which is handed about +after the sole, and the brightly red jelly, and beautifully pink cream, +which are ordered, in the last agony of ambition, from the next +pastry-cook's shop? + +"We cannot give a dinner, my dear, with only cook and Sarah." + +It has thus begun, and the husband has declared that he has no such +idea. "If Phipps and Dowdney can come here and eat a bit of mutton, +they are very welcome; if not, let them stay away. And you might as +well ask Phipps's sister; just to have some one to go with you into the +drawing-room." + +"I'd much rather go alone--because then I can read,"--or sleep, we may +say. + +But her husband has explained that she would look friendless, in this +solitary state, and therefore Phipps's sister has been asked. Then the +dinner has progressed down to those costly jellies which have been +ordered in a last agony. There has been a conviction on the minds of +both of them that the simple leg of mutton would have been more jolly +for them all. Had those round balls not been carried about by a hired +man; had simple mutton with hot potatoes been handed to Miss Phipps by +Sarah, Miss Phipps would not have simpered with such 'unmeaning +stiffness when young Dowdney spoke to her. They would have been much +more jolly. "Have a bit more mutton, Phipps; and where do you like it?" +How pleasant it sounds! But we all know that it is impossible. My young +friend had intended this, but his dinner had run itself away to cold +round balls and coloured forms from the pastrycook. And so it was with +the Crosbie marriage. + +The bride must leave the church in a properly appointed carriage, and +the postboys must have wedding favours. So the thing grew; not into +noble proportions, not into proportions of true glory, justifying the +attempt and making good the gala. A well-cooked rissole, brought +pleasantly to you, is good eating. A gala marriage, when everything is +in keeping, is excellent sport. Heaven forbid that we should have no +gala marriages. But the small spasmodic attempt, made in opposition to +manifest propriety, made with an inner conviction of failure--that +surely should be avoided in marriages, in dinners, and in all affairs +of life. + +There were bridesmaids and there was a breakfast. Both Margaretta and +Rosina came up to London for the occasion, as did also a first cousin +of theirs, one Miss Gresham, a lady whose father lived in the same +county. Mr Gresham had married a sister of Lord de Courcy's, and his +services were also called into requisition. He was brought up to give, +away the bride, because the earl--as the paragraph in the newspaper +declared--was confined at Courcy Castle by his old hereditary enemy, the +gout. A fourth bridesmaid also was procured, and thus there was a bevy, +though not so large a bevy as is now generally thought to be desirable. +There were only three or four carriages at the church, but even three +or four were something. The weather was so frightfully cold that the +light-coloured silks of the ladies carried with them a show of +discomfort. Girls should be very young to look nice in light dresses on +a frosty morning, and the bridesmaids at Lady Alexandrina's wedding +were not very young. Lady Rosina's nose was decidedly red. Lady +Margaretta was very wintry, and apparently very cross. Miss Gresham was +dull, tame, and insipid; and the Honourable Miss O'Flaherty, who filled +the fourth place, was sulky at finding that she had been invited to +take a share in so very lame a performance. + +But the marriage was made good, and Crosbie bore up against his +misfortunes like a man. Montgomerie Dobbs and Fowler Pratt both stood +by him, giving him, let us hope, some assurance that he was not +absolutely deserted by all the world--that he had not given himself up, +bound hand and foot, to the De Courcys, to be dealt with in all matters +as they might please. It was that feeling which had been so grievous to +him--and that other feeling, cognate to it, that if he should ultimately +succeed in rebelling against the De Courcys, he would find himself a +solitary man. + +"Yes; I shall go," Fowler Pratt had said to Montgomerie Dobbs. "I +always stick to a fellow if I can. Crosbie has behaved like a +blackguard, and like a fool also; and he knows that I think so. But I +don't see why I should drop him on that account. I shall go as he has +asked me." + +"So shall I," said Montgomerie Dobbs, who considered that he would be +safe in doing whatever Fowler Pratt did, and who remarked to himself +that after all Crosbie was marrying the daughter of an earl. + +Then, after the marriage, came the breakfast, at which the countess +presided with much noble magnificence. She had not gone to church, +thinking, no doubt, that she would be better able to maintain her good +humour at the feast, if she did not subject herself to the chance of +lumbago in the church. At the foot of the table sat Mr Gresham, her +brother-in-law, who had undertaken to give the necessary toast and make +the necessary speech. The Honourable John was there, saying all manner +of ill-natured things about his sister and new brother-in-law, because +he had been excluded from his proper position at the foot of the table. +But Alexandrina had declared that she would not have the matter +entrusted to her brother. The Honourable George would not come, because +the countess had not asked his wife. + +"Maria may be slow, and all that sort of thing," George had said; "but +she is my wife. And she had got what they haven't. Love me, love my +dog, you know." So he had stayed down at Courcy--very properly as I +think. + +Alexandrina had wished to go away before breakfast, and Crosbie would +not have cared how early an escape had been provided for him; but the +countess had told her daughter that if she would not wait for the +breakfast, there should be no breakfast at all, and in fact no wedding; +nothing but a simple marriage. Had there been a grand party, that going +away of the bride, and bridegroom might be very well; but the countess +felt that on such an occasion as this nothing but the presence of the +body of the sacrifice could give any reality to the festivity. So +Crosbie and Lady Alexandrina Crosbie heard Mr Gresham's speech, in +which he prophesied for the young couple an amount of happiness and +prosperity almost greater than is compatible with the circumstances of +humanity. His young friend Crosbie, whose acquaintance he had been +delighted to make, was well known as one of the rising pillars of the +State. Whether his future career might be parliamentary, or devoted to +the permanent Civil Service of the country, it would be alike great, +noble, and prosperous. As to his dear niece, who was now filling that +position in life which was most beautiful and glorious for a young +woman--she could not have done better. She had preferred genius to +wealth--so said Mr Gresham--and she would find her fitting reward. As to +her finding her fitting reward, whatever her preferences may have been, +there Mr Gresham was no doubt quite right. On that head I myself have +no doubt whatever. After that Crosbie returned thanks, making a much +better speech than nine men do out of ten on such occasions, and then +the thing was over. No other speaking was allowed, and within half an +hour from that time, he and his bride were in the post-chaise, being +carried away to the Folkestone railway station; for that place had been +chosen as the scene of their honeymoon. It had been at one time +intended that the journey to Folkestone should be made simply as the +first stage to Paris, but Paris and all foreign travelling had been +given up by degrees. + +"I don't care a bit about France--we have been there so often," +Alexandrina said. + +She had wished to be taken to Naples, but Crosbie had made her +understand at the first whispering of the word, that Naples was quite +out of the question. He must look now in all things to money. From the +very first outset of his career he must save a shilling wherever a +shilling could be saved. To this view of life no opposition was made by +the De Courcy interest. Lady Amelia had explained to her sister that +they ought so to do their honeymooning that it should not cost more +than if they began keeping house at once. Certain things must be done +which, no doubt, were costly in their nature. The bride must take with +her a well-dressed lady's-maid. The rooms at the Folkestone hotel must +be large, and on the first floor. A carriage must be hired for her use +while she remained; but every shilling must be saved the spending of +which would not make itself apparent to the outer world. Oh, deliver us +from the poverty of those who, with small means, affect a show of +wealth! There is no whitening equal to that of sepulchres whited as +they are whited! + +By the proper administration of a slight bribe Crosbie secured for +himself and his wife a compartment in the railway carriage to +themselves. And as he seated himself opposite to Alexandrina, having +properly tucked her up with all her bright-coloured trappings, he +remembered that he had never in truth been alone with her before. He +had danced with her frequently, and been left with her for a few +minutes between the figures. He had flirted with her in crowded +drawing-rooms, and had once found a moment at Courcy Castle to tell her +that he was willing to marry her in spite of his engagement with Lilian +Dale. But he had never walked with her for hours together as he had +walked with Lily. He had never talked to her about government, and +politics, and books, nor had she talked to him of poetry, of religion, +and of the little duties and comforts of life. He had known the Lady +Alexandrina for the last six or seven years; but he had never known +her--perhaps never would know her--as he had learned to know Lily Dale +within the space of two months. + +And now that she was his wife, what was he to say to her? They two had +commenced a partnership which was to make of them for the remaining +term of their lives one body and one flesh. They were to be all-in-all +to each other. But how was he to begin this all-in-all partnership? Had +the priest, with his blessing, done it so sufficiently that no other +doing on Crosbie's own part was necessary? There she was, opposite to +him, his very actual wife--bone of his bone; and what was he to, say to +her? As he settled himself on his seat, taking over his own knees a +part of a fine fur rug trimmed with scarlet, with which he had covered +her other mufflings, he bethought himself how much easier it would have +been to talk to Lily. And Lily would have been ready with all her ears, +and all her mind, and all her wit, to enter quickly upon whatever +thoughts had occurred to him. In that respect Lily would have been a +wife indeed--a wife that would have transferred herself with quick +mental activity into her husbands mental sphere. Had he begun about his +office Lily would have been ready for him, but Alexandrina had never +yet asked him a single question about his official life. Had he been +prepared with a plan for to-morrows happiness Lily would have taken it +up eagerly, but Alexandrina never cared for such trifles. + +"Are you quite comfortable?" he said, at last. + +"Oh, yes, quite, thank you. By-the-by, what did you do with my +dressing-case?" + +And that question she did ask with some energy. + +"It is under you. You can have it as foot-stool if you like it." + +"Oh, no; I should scratch it. I was afraid that if Hannah had it, it +might be lost." Then again there was silence, and Crosbie again +considered as to what he would next say to his wife. + +We all know the advice given us of old as to what we should do under +such circumstances; and who can be so thoroughly justified in following +that advice as a newly-married husband? So he put out his hand for hers +and drew her closer to him. + +"Take care of my bonnet," she said, as she felt the motion of the +railway carriage when he kissed her. I don't think he kissed her again +till he had landed her and her bonnet safely at Folkestone. How often +would he have kissed Lily, and how pretty would her bonnet have been +when she reached the end of her journey, and how delightfully happy +would she have looked when she scolded him for bending it! But +Alexandrina was quite in earnest about her bonnet; by far too much in +earnest for any appearance of happiness. + +So he sat without speaking, till the train came to the tunnel. + +"I do so hate tunnels," said Alexandrina. + +He had half intended to put out his hand again, under some mistaken +idea that the tunnel afforded him an opportunity. The whole journey was +one long opportunity, had he desired it; but his wife hated tunnels, +and so he drew his hand back again. Lily's little fingers would have +been ready for his touch. He thought of this, and could not help +thinking of it. + +He had The Times newspaper in his dressing-bag. She also had a novel +with her. Would she be offended if he took out the paper and read it? +The miles seemed to pass by very slowly; and there was still another +hour down to Folkestone. He longed for his Times, but resolved at last, +that he would not read unless she read first. She also had remembered +her novel; but by nature she was more patient than he, and she thought +that on such a journey any reading might perhaps be almost improper. So +she sat tranquilly, with her eyes fixed on the netting over her +husband's head. + +At last he could stand it no longer, and he dashed off into a +conversation, intended to be most affectionate and serious. + +"Alexandrina," he said, and his voice was well-tuned for the tender +serious manner, had her ears been alive to such tuning. "Alexandrina, +this is a very important step that you and I have taken today." + +"Yes; it is, indeed," said she. + +"I trust we shall succeed in making each other happy." + +"Yes; I hope we shall." + +"If we both think seriously of it, and remember that that is our chief +duty, we shall do so." + +"Yes, I suppose we shall. I only hope we shan't find the house very +cold. It is so new, and I am so subject to colds in my head. Amelia +says we shall find it very cold; but then she was always against our +going there." + +"The house will do very well," said Crosbie. And Alexandrina could +perceive that there was something of the master in his tone as he spoke. + +"I am only telling you what Amelia said," she replied. + +Had Lily been his bride, and had he spoken to her of their future life +and mutual duties, how she would have kindled to the theme! She would +have knelt at his feet on the floor of the carriage, and, looking up +into his face, would have promised him to do her best--her best--her very +best. And with what an eagerness of inward resolution would she have +determined to keep her promise. He thought of all this now, but he knew +that he ought not to think of it. Then, for some quarter of an hour, he +did take out his newspaper, and she, when she saw him do so, did take +out her novel. + +He took out his newspaper, but he could not fix his mind upon the +politics of the day. Had he not made a terrible mistake? Of what use to +him in life would be that thing of a woman that sat opposite to him? +Had not a great punishment come upon him, and had he not deserved the +punishment? In truth, a great punishment had come upon him. It was not +only that he had married a woman incapable of understanding the higher +duties of married life, but that he himself would have been capable of +appreciating the value of a woman who did understand them. He would +have been happy with Lily Dale; and therefore we may surmise that his +unhappiness with Lady Alexandrina would be the greater. There are men +who, in marrying such as Lady Alexandrina de Courcy, would get the +article best suited to them, as Mortimer Gazebee had done in marrying +her sister. Miss Griselda Grantly, who had become Lady Dumbello, though +somewhat colder and somewhat cleverer than Lady Alexandrina, had been +of the same sort. But in marrying her Lord Dumbello had got the article +best suited to him--if only the ill-natured world would allow him to +keep the article. It was in this that Crosbie's failure had been so +grievous--that he had seen and approved the better course, but had +chosen for himself to walk in that which was worse. During that week at +Courcy Castle--the week which he passed there immediately after his +second visit to Allington--he had deliberately made up his mind that he +was more fit for the bad course than for the good one. The course was +now before him, and he had no choice but to walk in it. + +It was very cold when they got to Folkestone, and Lady Alexandrina +shivered as she stepped into the private-looking carriage which had +been sent to the station for her use. + +"We shall find a good fire in the parlour at the hotel," said Crosbie. + +"Oh, I hope so," said Alexandrina, "and in the bedroom too." + +The young husband felt himself to be offended, but he hardly knew why. +He felt himself to be offended, and with difficulty induced himself to +go through all those little ceremonies the absence of which would have +been remarked by everybody. He did his work, however, seeing to all her +shawls and wrappings, speaking with good-nature to Hannah, and paying +special attention to the dressing-case. + +"What time would you like to dine?" he asked, as he prepared to leave +her alone with Hannah in the bedroom. + +"Whenever you please; only I should like some tea and bread-and-butter +presently." + +Crosbie went into the sitting-room, ordered the tea and +bread-and-butter, ordered also the dinner, and then stood himself up +with his back to the fire, in order that he might think a little of his +future career. + +He was a man who had long since resolved that his life should be a +success. It would seem that all men would so resolve, if the matter +were simply one of resolution. But the majority of men, as I take it, +make no such resolution, and very many men resolve that they will be +unsuccessful. Crosbie, however, had resolved on success, and had done +much towards carrying out his purpose. He had made a name for himself, +and had acquired a certain fame. That, however, was, as he acknowledged +to himself, departing from him. He looked the matter straight in the +face, and told himself that his fashion must be abandoned; but the +office remained to him. He might still rule over Mr Optimist, and make +a subservient slave of Butterwell. That must be his line in life now, +and to that, line he would endeavour to be true. As to his wife and his +home--he would look to them for his breakfast, and perhaps his dinner. +He would have, a comfortable arm-chair, and if Alexandrina should +become a mother he would endeavour to love his children; but above all +things he would never think of Lily. After that he stood and thought of +her for half an hour. + +"If you please, sir, my lady wants to know at what time you have +ordered dinner." + +"At seven, Hannah." + +"My lady says she is very tired, and will lie down till dinnertime." + +"Very well, Hannah. I will go into her room when it is time to dress. I +hope they are making you comfortable downstairs?" + +Then Crosbie strolled out on the pier in the dusk of the cold winter +evening. + + + +CHAPTER XLVI + +JOHN EAMES AT HIS OFFICE + +Mr Crosbie and his wife went upon their honeymoon tour to Folkestone in +the middle of February, and returned to London about the end of March. +Nothing of special moment to the interests of our story occurred during +those six weeks, unless the proceedings of the young married couple by +the sea-side may be thought to have any special interest. With regard +to those proceedings I can only say that Crosbie was very glad when +they were brought to a close. All holiday-making is hard work, but +holiday-making with nothing to do is the hardest work of all. At the +end of March they went into their new house, and we will hope that Lady +Alexandrina did not find it very cold. + +During this time Lily's recovery from her illness was being completed. +She had no relapse--nor did anything occur to create a new fear on her +account. But, nevertheless, Dr Crofts gave it as his opinion that it +would be inexpedient to move her into a fresh house at Lady-day. March +is not a kindly month for invalids; and therefore with some regret on +the part of Mrs Dale, with much impatience on that of Bell, and with +considerable outspoken remonstrance from Lily herself, the squire was +requested to let them remain through the month of April. How the squire +received this request, and in, what way he assented to the doctor's +reasoning, will be told in the course of a chapter or two. + +In the meantime John Eames had continued his career in London without +much immediate satisfaction--to himself, or to the lady who boasted to +be his heart's chosen queen. Miss Amelia Roper, indeed, was becoming +very cross and in her ill-temper was playing a game that was tending to +create a frightful amount of hot water in Burton Crescent. She was +devoting herself to a flirtation with Mr Cradell, not only under the +immediate eyes of Johnny Eames, but also under those of Mrs Lupex. John +Eames, the blockhead, did not like it. He was above all things anxious +to get rid of Amelia and her claims; so anxious, that on certain, moody +occasions he would threaten himself with diverse tragical terminations +to his career in London. He would enlist. He would go to Australia. He +would blow out his brains. He would have "an explanation" with Amelia, +tell her that she was a vixen, and proclaim his hatred. He would rush +down to Allington and throw himself in despair at Lily's feet. Amelia, +was the bugbear of his life. Nevertheless, when she flirted with +Cradell, he did not like it, and was ass enough to speak to Cradell +about it. + +"Of course I don't care," he said, "only it seems to me that you are +making a fool of yourself." + +"I thought you wanted to get rid of her." + +"She's nothing on earth to me; only it does, you know--" + +"Does do what?" asked Cradell. + +"Why, if I was to be fal-lalling with that married woman, you wouldn't +like it. That's all about it. Do you mean to marry her?" + +"What!--Amelia?" + +"Yes; Amelia." +"Not if I know it." + +"Then if I were you I would leave her alone. She's only making a fool +of you." + +Eames's advice may have been good, and the view taken by him of +Amelia's proceedings may have been correct; but as regarded his own +part in the affair, he was not wise. Miss Roper, no doubt, wished to +make him jealous; and she succeeded in the teeth of his aversion to her +and of his love elsewhere. He had no desire to say soft things to Miss +Roper. Miss Roper, with all her skill, could not extract a word +pleasantly soft from him one a week. But, nevertheless, soft words to +her and from her in another quarter made him uneasy. Such being the +case, must we not acknowledge that John Eames was still floundering in +the ignorance of his hobbledehoyhood? + +The Lupexes at this time still held their ground in the Crescent, +although repeated warnings to go had been given them. Mrs Roper, though +she constantly spoke of sacrificing all that they owed her, still +hankered, with a natural hankering, after her money. And as each +warning was accompanied by a demand for payment, and usually produced +some slight subsidy on account, the thing went on from week to week; +and at the beginning of April Mr and Mrs Lupex were still boarders at +Mrs Roper's house. + +Eames had heard nothing from Allington since the time of his Christmas +visit, and his subsequent correspondence with Lord de Guest. In his +letters from his mother he was told that game came frequently from +Guestwick Manor, and in this way he knew that he was not forgotten by +the earl. But of Lily he had heard not a word--except, indeed, the +rumour, which had now become general, that the Dales from the Small +House were about to move themselves into Guestwick. When first he +learned this he construed the tidings as favourable to himself, +thinking that Lily, removed from the grandeur of Allington, might +possibly be more easily within his reach; but, latterly, he had given +up any such hope as that, and was telling himself that his friend at +the Manor had abandoned all idea of making up the marriage. Three +months had already elapsed since his visit. Five months had passed +since Crosbie had surrendered his claim. Surely such a knave as Crosbie +might be forgotten in five months! If any steps could have been taken +through the squire, surely three months would have sufficed for them! +It was very manifest to him that there was no ground of hope for him at +Allington, and it would certainly be well for him to go off to +Australia. He would go to Australia, but he would thrash Cradell first +for having dared to interfere with Amelia Roper. That, generally, was, +the state of his mind during the first week in April. + +Then there came to him a letter from the earl which instantly effected +a great change in all his feelings; which taught him to regard +Australia as a dream, and almost put him into a good humour with +Cradell. The earl had by no means lost sight of his friend's interests +at Allington; and, moreover, those interests were now backed by an +ally, who in this matter must be regarded as much more powerful than +the earl. The squire had given in his consent to the Eames alliance. + +The earl's letter was as follows :-- + + +GUESTWICK MANOR, April , 18-. + +MY DEAR JOHN--I told you to write to me again, and you haven't done it. +I saw your mother the other day, or else you might have been dead for +anything I knew. A young man always ought to write letters when he is +told to do so. + +[Eames, when he had got so far, felt himself rather aggrieved by this +rebuke, knowing that he had abstained from writing to his patron simply +from an unwillingness to intrude upon him with his letters. "By Jove, +I'll write to him every week of his life, till he's sick of me," Johnny +said to himself when he found himself thus instructed as to a young +man's duties.] + +And now I have got to tell you a long story, and I should like it much +better if you were down here, so that I might save myself the trouble; +but you would think me ill-natured if I were to keep you waiting. I +happened to meet Mr Dale the other day, and he said that he should be +very glad if a certain young lady would make up her mind to listen to a +certain young friend of mine. So I asked him what he meant to do about +the young lady's fortune, and he declared himself willing to give her a +hundred a year during his life, and to settle four thousand pounds upon +her after his death. I said that I would do as much on my part by the +young man; but as two hundred a year, with your salary, would hardly +give you enough to begin with, I'll make mine a hundred and fifty. +You'll be getting up in your office soon, and with five hundred a year +you ought to be able to get along; especially as you need not insure +your life, I should live somewhere near Bloomsbury Square at first, +because I'm told you can get a house for nothing. After all, what's +fashion worth? You can bring your wife down here in the autumn, and +have some shooting. She won't let you go to sleep under the trees, I'll +be bound. + +But you must look after the young lady. You will understand that no one +has said a word to her about it; or, if they have, I don't know it. +You'll find the squire on your side. That's all. Couldn't you manage to +come down this Easter? Tell old Buffle, with my compliments, that I +want you. I'll write to him if you like it. I did know him at one time, +though I can't say I was ever fond of him. It stands to reason that you +can't get on with Miss Lily without seeing her; unless, indeed, you +like better to write to her, which always seems to me to be very poor +sort of fun. You'd much better come down, and go a-wooing in the +regular old-fashioned way. I need not tell you that Lady Julia will be +delighted to see you. You are a prime favourite with her since that +affair at the railway station. She thinks a great deal more about that +than she does about the bull. + +Now, my dear fellow, you know all about it, and I shall take it very +much amiss of you if you don't answer my letter soon. + +Your very sincere friend, + +DE GUEST. + + +When Eames had finished this letter, sitting at his office-desk, his +surprise and elation were so great that he hardly knew where he was or +what he ought to do. Could it be the truth that Lily's uncle had not +only consented that the match should be made, but that he had also +promised to give his niece a considerable fortune? For a, few minutes +it seemed to Johnny as though all obstacles to his happiness were +removed, and that there was no impediment between him and an amount of +bliss of which he had hitherto hardly dared to dream. Then, when he +considered the earl's munificence, he almost cried. He found that he +could not compose his mind to think, or even his hand to write. He did +not know whether it would be right in him to accept such pecuniary +liberality from any living man, and almost thought that he should feel +himself bound to reject the earl's offer. As to the squire's money, +that he knew he might accept. All that comes in the shape of a young +woman's fortune may be taken by any man. + +He would certainly answer the earl's letter, and that at once. He would +not leave the office till he had done so. His friend should have cause +to bring no further charge against him of that kind. And then again he +reverted to the injustice which had been done to him in the matter of +letter-writing--as if that consideration were of moment in such a state +of circumstances as was now existing. But at last his thoughts brought +themselves to the real question at issue. Would Lily Dale accept him? +After all, the realisation of his good fortune depended altogether upon +her feelings; and, as he remembered this, his mind misgave him sorely. +It was filled not only with a young lover's ordinary doubts--with the +fear and trembling incidental to the bashfulness of hobbledehoyhood-but +with an idea that that affair with Crosbie would still stand in his +way. He did not, perhaps, rightly understand all that Lily had +suffered, but he conceived it to be probable that there had been wounds +which even the last five months might not yet have cured. Could it be +that she would allow him to cure these wounds? As he thought of this he +felt almost crushed to the earth by an indomitable bashfulness and +conviction of his own unworthiness. What had he to offer worthy of the +acceptance of such a girl as Lilian Dale? + +I fear that the Crown did not get out of John Eames an adequate return +for his salary on that day. So adequate, however, had been the return +given by him for some time past, that promotion was supposed throughout +the Income-tax Office to be coming in his way, much to the jealousy of +Cradell, Fisher, and others, his immediate compeers and cronies. And +the place assigned to him by rumour was one which was, generally +regarded as a perfect Elysium upon earth in the Civil Service world. He +was, so rumour said, to become private secretary to the First +Commissioner. He would be removed by such a change as this from the +large uncarpeted room in which he at present sat; occupying the same +desk with another man to whom he had felt himself to be ignominiously +bound, as dogs must feel when they are coupled. This room had been the +bear-garden of the office. Twelve or fourteen men sat in it. Large +pewter pots were brought into it daily at one o'clock, giving it an air +that was not aristocratic. The senior of the room, one Mr Love, who was +presumed to have it under his immediate dominion, was a clerk of the +ancient stamp, dull, heavy, unambitious, living out on the farther side +of Islington, and unknown beyond the limits of his office to any of his +younger brethren. He was generally regarded as having given a bad tone +to the room. And then the clerks in this room would not unfrequently be +blown up--with very palpable blowings up--by an official swell, a certain +chief clerk, named Kissing, much higher in standing though younger in +age than the gentleman of whom we have before spoken. He would hurry +in, out of his own neighbouring chamber, with quick step and nose in +the air, shuffling in his office slippers, looking on each occasion as +though there were some cause to fear that the whole Civil Service were +coming to an abrupt termination, and would lay about him with hard +words, which some of those in the big room did not find it very easy to +bear. His hair was always brushed straight up, his eyes were always +very wide open--and he usually carried a big letter--book with him, +keeping, in it a certain place with his finger. This book was almost +too much for his strength, and he would flop it down, now on this man's +desk and now on that man's, and in along career of such floppings had +made himself to be very much hated. On the score of some old grudge he +and Mr Love did not speak to each other; and for this reason, on all +occasions of fault-finding, the blown-up young man would refer Mr +Kissing to his enemy. + +"I know nothing about it," Mr Love would say, not lifting his face from +his desk for a moment. + +"I shall certainly lay the matter before the Board,"--Mr Kissing would +reply, and would then shuffle out of the room with the big book. + +Sometimes Mr Kissing would lay the matter before the Board, and then +he, and Mr Love, and two or three delinquent clerks would be summoned +thither. It seldom led to much. The delinquent clerks would be +cautioned. One Commissioner would say a word in private to Mr Love, and +another a word in private to Mr Kissing. Then, when left alone, the +Commissioners would have their little jokes; saying that Kissing, they +feared, went by favour; and that Love should still be lord of all. But +these things were done in the mild days, before Sir Raffle Buffle came +to the Board. + +There had been some fun in this at first; but of late John Eames had +become tired of it. He disliked Mr Kissing, and the big book out of +which Mr Kissing was always endeavouring to convict him of some +official sin, and had got tired of that joke setting Kissing and Love +by the ears together. When the Assistant Secretary first suggested to +him that Sir Raffle had an idea of selecting him as private secretary, +and when he remembered the cosy little room, all carpeted, with a +leathern arm-chair and a separate washing-stand, which in such case +would be devoted to his use, and remembered also that he would be put +into receipt of an additional hundred a year, and would stand in the +way of still better promotion, he was overjoyed. But there were certain +drawbacks. The present private secretary-who had been private secretary +also to the late First Commissioner-was giving up his Elysium because +he could not endure the tones of Sir Raffle's voice. It was understood +that Sir Raffle required rather more of a private secretary, in the way +of obsequious attendance, than was desirable, and Eames almost doubted +his own fitness for the place. + +"And why should he choose me?" he had asked the Assistant Secretary. + +"Well, we have talked it over together, and I think that he prefers you +to any other that has been named." + +"But he was so very hard upon me about the affair at the railway +station." + +"I think he has heard more about that since; I think that some message +has reached him from your friend, Earl de Guest." + +"Oh, indeed!" said Johnny, beginning to comprehend what it was to have +an earl for his friend. Since his acquaintance with the nobleman had +commenced, he had studiously avoided all mention of the earl's name at +his office; and yet he received almost daily intimation that the fact +was well known there, and not a little considered. + +"But he is so very rough," said Johnny. + +"You can put up with that," said his friend the Assistant Secretary +"His bark is worse than his bite, as you know, and then a hundred a +year is worth having." + +Eames was at that moment inclined to take a gloomy view of life in +general, and was disposed to refuse the place, should it be offered to +him. He had not then received the earl's letter; but now, as he sat +with that letter open before him, lying in the drawer beneath his desk +so that he could still read it as he leaned back in his chair, he was +enabled to look at things in general through a different atmosphere. In +the first place, Lilian Dale's husband ought to have a room to himself, +with a carpet and an arm-chair; and then that additional hundred a year +would raise his income at once to the sum as to which the earl had made +some sort of stipulation. But could he get that leave of absence at +Easter? If he consented to be Sir Raffle's private secretary, he would +make that a part of the bargain. + +At this moment the door of the big room was opened, and Mr Kissing +shuffled in with very quick little steps. He shuffled in, and coming +direct up to John's desk, flopped his ledger down upon it before its +owner had had time to close the drawer which contained the precious +letter. + +"What have you got in that drawer, Mr Eames?" + +"A private letter, Mr Kissing." + +"Oh--a private letter!" said Mr Kissing, feeling strongly convinced +there was a novel hidden there, but not daring to express his belief. +"I have been half the morning, Mr Eames, looking for this letter to the +Admiralty, and you've put it under S!" A bystander listening to Mr +Kissing's tone would have been led to believe that the whole Income-tax +Office was jeopardised by the terrible iniquity thus disclosed. + +"Somerset House," pleaded Johnny. + +"Psha--Somerset House! Half the offices in London--" + +"You'd better ask Mr Love," said Eames. "It's all done under his +special instructions." Mr Kissing looked at Mr Love; and Mr Love looked +steadfastly at his desk. "Mr Love knows all about the indexing," +continued Johnny. "He's index master general to the department." + +"No, I'm not, Mr Eames," said Mr Love, who rather liked John Eames, and +hated Mr Kissing with his whole heart. "But I believe the indexes, on +the whole, are very well done in this room. Some people don't know how +to find letters." + +"Mr Eames," began Mr Kissing, still pointing with a finger of bitter +reproach to the misused S, and beginning an oration which was intended +for the benefit of the whole room, and for the annihilation of old Mr +Love, "if you have yet to learn that the word Admiralty begins with A +and not with S, you have much to learn which should have been acquired +before you first came into this office. Somerset House is not a +department." Then he turned round to the room at large, and repeated +the last words, as though they might become very useful if taken well +to heart--"Is not a department. The Treasury is a department; the Home +Office is a department; the India Board is a department--" + +"No, Mr Kissing, it isn't," said a young clerk from the other end of +the room. + +"You know very well what I mean, sir. The India Office is a department." + +"There's no Board, sir." + +"Never mind; but how any gentleman who has been in the service three +months--not to say three years--can suppose Somerset House to be a +department, is beyond my comprehension. If you have been improperly +instructed--" + +"We shall know all about it another time," said Eames. "Mr Love will +make a memorandum of it." + +"I shan't do anything of the kind," said Mr Love. + +"If you have been wrongly instructed--" Mr Kissing began again, stealing +a glance at Mr Love as he did so; but at this moment the door was again +opened, and a messenger summoned Johnny to the presence of the really +great man. "Mr Eames to wait upon Sir Raffle." Upon hearing this Johnny +immediately started, and left Mr Kissing and the big book in possession +of his desk. How the battle was waged, and how it raged in the large +room, we cannot stop to hear, as it is necessary that we should follow +our hero into the presence of Sir Raffle Buffle. + +"Ah, Eames--yes," said Sir Raffle, looking up from his desk when the +young man entered; "just wait half a minute, will you?" And the knight +went to work at his papers, as though fearing that any delay in what he +was doing might be very prejudicial to the nation at large. "Ah, +Eames--well--yes," he said again, as he pushed away from him, almost with +a jerk, the papers on which he had been writing. "They tell me that you +know the business of this office pretty well." + +"Some of it, sir," said Eames. + +"Well, yes; some of it. But you'll have to understand the whole of it +if you come to me. And you must be very sharp about it too. You know +that FitzHoward is leaving me?" + +"I have heard of it, sir." + +"A very excellent young man, though perhaps not--. But we won't mind +that. The work is a little too much for him, and he's going back into +the office. I believe Lord de Guest is a friend of yours; isn't he?" + +"Yes; he is a friend of mine, certainly. He's been very kind to me." + +"Ah, well. I've known the earl for many years--for very many years; and +intimately at one time. Perhaps you may have heard him mention my name?" + +"Yes, I have, Sir Raffle." + +"We were intimate once, but those things go off, you know. He's been +the country mouse and I've been the town mouse. Ha, ha, ha! You may +tell him that I say so. He won't mind that coming from me." + +"Oh, no; not at all," said Eames. + +"Mind you tell him when you see him. The earl is a man for whom I've +always had a great respect--a very great respect--I may say regard. And +now, Eames, what do you say to taking FitzHoward's place? The work is +hard. It is fair that I should tell you that. The work will, no doubt, +be very hard. I take a greater share of what's going than my +predecessors have done; and I don't mind telling you that I have been +sent here, because a man was wanted who would do that." The voice of +Sir Raffle, as he continued, became more and more harsh, and Eames +began to think how wise FitzHoward had been "I mean to do my duty, and +I shall expect that my private secretary will do his. But, Mr Eames, I +never forget a man. Whether he be good or bad, I never forget a man. +You don't dislike late hours, I suppose." + +"Coming late to the office you mean? Oh, no, not in the least." + +"Staying late--staying late. Six or seven o'clock if necessary--putting +your shoulder to the wheel when the coach gets into the mud. That's +what I've been doing all my life. They've known what I am very well. +They've always kept me for the heavy roads. If they paid, in the Civil +Service, by the hour, I believe I should have drawn a larger income +than any man in it. If you take the vacant chair in the next room +you'll find it's no joke. It's only fair that I should tell you that." + +"I can work as hard as any man," said Eames. + +"That's right. That's right. Stick to that and I'll stick to you. It +will be a great gratification to me to have by me a friend of my old +friend De Guest. Tell him I say so. And now you may as well get into +harness at once. FitzHoward is there. You can go in to him, and at +half-past four exactly I'll see you both. I'm very exact, mind--very--and +therefore you must be exact." Then Sir Raffle looked as though he +desired to be left alone. + +"Sir Raffle, there's one favour I want to ask of you," said Johnny. + +"And what's that?" + +"I am most anxious to be absent for a fortnight or three weeks, just at +Easter. I shall want to go in about ten days." + +"Absent for three weeks at Easter, when the parliamentary work is +beginning! That won't do for a private secretary." + +"But it's very important, Sir Raffle." + +"Out of the question, Eames; quite out of the question." + +"It's almost life and death to me." + +"Almost life and death. Why, what are you going to do?" With all his +grandeur and national importance, Sir Raffle would be very curious as +to little people. + +"Well, I can't exactly tell you, and I'm not quite sure myself." + +"Then don't talk nonsense. It's impossible that I should spare my +private secretary just at that time of the year. I couldn't do it. The +service won't admit of it. You're not entitled to leave at that season. +Private secretaries always take their leave in the autumn." + +"I should like to be absent in the autumn too, but--" + +"It's out of the question, Mr Eames." + +Then John Eames reflected that it behoved him in such an emergency to +fire off his big gun. He had a great dislike to firing this big gun +but, as he said to himself, there are occasions which make a big gun +very necessary. "I got a letter from Lord de Guest this morning, +pressing me very much to go to him at Easter. It's about business," +added Johnny. "If there was any difficulty, he said, he should write to +you." + +"Write to me," said Sir Raffle, who did not like to be approached too +familiarly in his office, even by an earl. + +"Of course I shouldn't tell him to do that. But, Sir Raffle, if I +remained out there, in the office," and Johnny pointed towards the big +room with his head, "I could choose April for my month. And as the +matter is so important to me, and to the earl--" + +"What can it be?" said Sir Raffle. + +"It's quite private," said John Eames. + +Hereupon Sir Raffle became very petulant, feeling that a bargain was +being made with him. This young man would only consent to become his +private secretary upon certain terms! "Well; go in to FitzHoward now. I +can't lose all my day in this way." + +"But I shall be able to get away at Easter?" + +"I don't know. We shall see about it. But don't stand talking there +now." Then John Eames went into FitzHoward's room, and received that +gentleman's congratulations on his appointment. "I hope you like being +rung for, like a servant, every minute, for he's always ringing that +bell. And he'll roar at you till you're deaf. You must give up all +dinner engagements, for though there is not much to do, he'll never let +you go. I don't think anybody ever asks him out to dinner, for he likes +being here till seven. And you'll have to write all manner of lies +about big people. And, sometimes, when he has sent Rafferty out about +his private business, he'll ask you to bring him his shoes." Now +Rafferty was the First Commissioner's messenger. + +It must be remembered, however, that this little account was given by +an outgoing and discomfited private secretary. "A man is not asked to +bring another man his shoes," said Eames to himself, "until he shows +himself fit for that sort of business." Then he made within his own +breast a little resolution about Sir Raffle's shoes. + + + +CHAPTER XLVII + +THE NEW PRIVATE SECRETARY + +INCOME-tax OFFICE, April 8, 18-. + +MY DEAR LORD DE GUEST--I hardly know how to answer your letter, it is so +very kind--more than kind. And about not writing before--I must explain +that I have not liked to trouble you with letters. I should have seemed +to be encroaching if I had written much. Indeed it didn't come from not +thinking about you. And first of all, about the money--as to your offer, +I mean. I really feel that I do not know what I ought to say to you +about it, without appearing to be a simpleton. The truth is, I don't +know what I ought to do, and can only trust to you not to put me wrong. +I have an idea that a man ought not to accept a present of money, +unless from his father, or somebody like that. And the sum you mention +is so very large that it makes me wish you had not named it. If you +choose to be so generous, would it not be better that you should leave +it me in your will? + +"So that he might always want me to be dying," said Lord de Guest, as +he read the letter out loud to his sister. + +"I'm sure he wouldn't want that," said Lady Julia. "But you may live +for twenty-five years, you know." + +"Say fifty," said the earl. And then he continued the reading of his +letter. + +But all that depends so much upon another person, that it is hardly +worth while talking about it. Of course I am very much obliged to Mr +Dale--very much indeed--and I think that he is behaving very handsomely +to his niece. But whether it will do me any good, that is quite another +thing. However, I shall certainly accept your kind invitation for +Easter, and find out whether I have a chance or not. I must tell you +that Sir Raffle Buffle has made me his private secretary, by which I +get a hundred a year. He says he was a great crony of yours many years +ago, and seems to like talking about you very much. You will understand +what all that means. He has sent you ever so many messages, but I don't +suppose you will care to get them. I am to go to him to-morrow and from +all I hear I shall have a hard time of it. + +"By George, he will," said the earl. "Poor fellow!" + +"But I thought a private secretary never had anything to do," said Lady +Julia. + +"I shouldn't like to be private secretary to Sir Raffle, myself. But +he's young, and a hundred a year is a great thing. How we all of us +used to hate that man. His voice sounded like a bell with a crack in +it. We always used to be asking for some one to muffle the Buffle. They +call him Huffle Scuffle at his office. Poor Johnny!" Then he finished +the letter:-- + +I told him that I must have leave of absence at Easter, and he at first +declared that it was impossible. But I shall carry my point about that. +I would not stay away to be made private secretary to the Prime +Minister; and yet I almost feel that I might as well stay away for any +good that I shall do. + +Give my kind regards to Lady Julia, and tell her how very much obliged +to her I am. I cannot express the gratitude which I owe to you. But +pray believe me, my dear Lord de Guest, always very faithfully yours, + +JOHN EAMES. + +It was late before Eames had finished his letter. He had been making +himself ready for his exodus from the big room, and preparing his desk +and papers for his successor. About half-past five Cradell came up to +him, and suggested that they should walk home together. + +"What! you here still?" said Eames. "I thought you always went at +four." Cradell had remained, hanging about the office, in order that he +might walk home with the new private secretary. But Eames did not +desire this. He had much of which he desired to think alone, and would +fain have been allowed to walk by himself. + +"Yes; I had things to do. I say, Johnny, I congratulate you most +heartily; I do, indeed." + +"Thank you, old fellow!" + +"It is such a grand thing, you know. A hundred a year all at once! And +then such a snug room to yourself--and that fellow, Kissing, never can +come near you. He has been making himself such a beast all day. But, +Johnny, I always knew you'd come to something more than common. I +always said so." + +"There's nothing uncommon about this; except that Fitz says that old +Ruffle Scuffle makes himself uncommon nasty." + +"Never mind what Fitz says. It's all jealousy. You'll have it all your +own way, if you look sharp. I think you always do have it all your own +way. Are you nearly ready?" + +"Well-not quite. Don't wait for me, Caudle." + +"Oh, I'll wait. I don't mind waiting. They'll keep dinner for us if we +both stay. Besides, what matters? I'd do more than that for you." + +"I have some idea of working on till eight, and having a chop sent in," +said Johnny. "Besides--I've got somewhere to call, by myself." + +Then Cradell almost cried. He remained silent for two or three minutes, +striving to master his emotion; and at last, when he did speak, had +hardly succeeded in doing so. "Oh, Johnny," he said, "I know what that +means. You are going to throw me over because you are getting up in the +world. I have always stuck to you, through everything; haven't I?" + +"Don't make yourself a fool, Caudle." + +"Well; so I have. And if they had made me private secretary, I should +have been just the same to you as ever. You'd have found no change in +me." + +"What a goose you are. Do you say I'm changed, because I want to dine +in the city?" + +"It's all because you don't want to walk home with me, as we used to +do. I'm not such a goose but what I can see. But, Johnny--I suppose I +mustn't call you Johnny, now." + +"Don't be such a con-founded--" Then Eames got up, and walked about the +room. "Come along," said he, I don't care about staying, and don't mind +where I dine." And he bustled away with his hat and gloves, hardly +giving Cradell time to catch him before he got out into the streets. "I +tell you what it is, Caudle," said he, "all that kind of thing is +disgusting." + +"But how would you feel," whimpered Cradell, who had never succeeded in +putting himself quite on a par with his friend, even in his own +estimation, since that glorious victory at the railway station. If he +could only have thrashed Lupex as Johnny had thrashed Crosbie; then +indeed they might have been equal--a pair of heroes. But he had not done +so. He had never told himself that he was a coward, but he considered +that circumstances had been specially unkind to him. "But how would you +feel," he whimpered, "if the friend whom you liked better than anybody +else in the world, turned his back upon you?" + +"I haven't turned my back upon you; except that I can't get you to walk +fast enough. Come along, old fellow, and don't talk confounded +nonsense. I hate all that kind of thing. You never ought to suppose +that a man will give himself airs, but wait till he does. I don't +believe I shall remain with old Scuffles above a month or two. From all +that I can hear that's as much as any one can bear." + +Then Cradell by degrees became happy and cordial, and during the whole +walk flattered Eames with all the flattery of which he was master. And +Johnny, though he did profess himself to be averse to "all that kind of +thing," was nevertheless open to flattery. When Cradell told him that +though FitzHoward could not manage the Tartar knight, he might probably +do so; he was inclined to believe what Cradell said. "And as to getting +him his shoes," said Cradell, "I don't suppose he'd ever think of +asking you to do such a thing, unless he was in a very great hurry, or +something of that kind." + +"Look here, Johnny," said Cradell, as they got into one of the streets +bordering on Burton Crescent, "you know the last thing in the world I +should like to do would be to offend you." + +"All right, Caudle," said Eames, going on, whereas his companion had +shown a tendency towards stopping. + +"Look here, now; if I have vexed you about Amelia Roper, I'll make you +a promise never to speak to her again." + +"D--- Amelia Roper," said Eames, suddenly stopping himself and stopping +Cradell as well. The exclamation was made in a deep angry voice which +attracted the notice of one or two who were passing. Johnny was very +wrong--wrong to utter any curse--very wrong to ejaculate that curse +against a human being; and especially wrong to fulminate it against a +woman--a woman whom he had professed to love! But he did do so, and I +cannot tell my story thoroughly without repeating the wicked word. + +Cradell looked up at him and stared. "I only meant to say," said +Cradell, "I'll do anything you like in the matter." + +"Then never mention her name to me again. And as to talking to her, you +may talk to her till you're both blue in the face, if you please." + +"Oh--I didn't know. You didn't seem to like it the other day." + +"I was a fool the other day--a confounded fool. And so I have been all +my life. Amelia Roper! Look here, Caudle; if she makes up to you this +evening, as I've no doubt she will, for she seems to be playing that +game constantly now, just let her have her fling. Never mind me; I'll +amuse myself with Mrs Lupex, or Miss Spruce." + +"But there'll be the deuce to pay with Mrs Lupex. She's as cross as +possible already whenever Amelia speaks to me. You don't know what a +jealous woman is, Johnny." Cradell had got upon what he considered to +be his high ground. And on that he felt himself equal to any man. It +was no doubt true that Eames had thrashed a man, and that he had not; +it was true also that Eames had risen to very high place in the social +world, having become a private secretary; but for a dangerous, +mysterious, overwhelming, life-enveloping intrigue--was not he the +acknowledged hero of such an affair? He had paid very dearly, both in +pocket and in comfort, for the blessing of Mrs Lupex's society; but he +hardly considered that he had paid too dearly. There are certain +luxuries which a man will find to be expensive; but, for all that, they +may be worth their price. Nevertheless as he went up the steps of Mrs +Roper's house he made up his mind that he would oblige his friend, The +intrigue might in that way become more mysterious, and more +life-enveloping; whereas it would not become more dangerous, seeing +that Mr Lupex could hardly find himself to be aggrieved by such a +proceeding. + +The whole number of Mrs Roper's boarders were assembled at dinner that +day. Mr Lupex seldom joined that festive board, but on this occasion he +was present, appearing from his voice and manner to be in high +good-humour. Cradell had communicated to the company in the +drawing-room the great good fortune which had fallen upon his friend, +and Johnny had thereby become the mark of a certain amount of +hero-worship. + +"Oh, indeed!" said Mrs Roper. "An 'appy woman your mother will be when +she hears it. But I always said you'd come down right side uppermost." + +"Handsome is as handsome does," said Miss Spruce. + +"Oh, Mr Eames!" exclaimed Mrs Lupex, with graceful enthusiasm, "I wish +you joy from the very depth of my heart. It is such an elegant +appointment." + +"Accept the hand of a true and disinterested friend," said Lupex. And +Johnny did accept the hand, though it was very dirty and stained all +over with paint. + +Amelia stood apart and conveyed her congratulations by glance--or, I +might better say, by a series of glances. "And now--now will you not be +mine," the glances said; "now that you are rolling in wealth and +prosperity? "And then before they went downstairs she did whisper one +word to him. "Oh, I am so happy, John--so very happy." + +"Bother!" said Johnny, in a tone quite loud enough to reach the lady's +ear. Then making his way round the room, he gave his arm to Miss +Spruce. Amelia, as she walked downstairs alone, declared to herself +that she would wring his heart. She had been employed in wringing it +for some days past, and had been astonished at her own success. It had +been clear enough to her that Eames had been piqued by her overtures to +Cradell, and she had therefore to play out that game. + +"Oh, Mr Cradell," she said, as she took her seat next to him. "The +friends I like are the friends that remain always the same. I hate your +sudden rises. They do so often make a man upsetting." + +"I should like to try, myself, all the same," said Cradell. + +"Well, I don't think it would make any difference in you; I don't +indeed. And, of course, your time will come too. It's that earl as has +done it--he that was worried by the bull. Since we have known an earl we +have been so mighty fine." And Amelia gave her head a little toss, and +then smiled archly, in a manner which, to Cradell's eyes, was really +very becoming. But he saw that Mrs Lupex was looking at him from the +other side of the table, and he could not quite enjoy the goods which +the gods had provided for him. + +When the ladies left the dining-room Lupex and the two young men drew +their chairs near the fire, and each prepared for himself a moderate +potation. Eames made a little, attempt at leaving the room, but he was +implored by Lupex with such earnest protestations of friendship to +remain, and was so weakly fearful of being charged with giving himself +airs, that he did as he was desired. + +"And here, Mr Eames, is to your very good health," said Lupex, raising +to his mouth a steaming goblet of gin-and-water, and wishing you many +years to enjoy your official prosperity." + +"Thank ye," said Eames. "I don't know much about the prosperity, but +I'm just as much obliged." + +"Yes, sir; when I see a young man of your age beginning to rise in the +world, I know he'll go on. Now look at me, Mr Eames. Mr Cradell, here's +your very good health, and may all unkindness be drowned in the flowing +bowl. Look at me, Mr Eames. I've never risen in the world. I've never +done any good in the world, and never shall." + +"Oh, Mr Lupex, don't say that." + +"Ah, but I do say it. I've always been pulling the devil by the tail, +and never yet got as much as a good hold on to that. And I'll tell you +why; I never got a chance when I was young. If I could have got any big +fellow, a star, you know, to let me paint his portrait when I was your +age--such a one, let us say, as your friend Sir Raffle--" + +"What a star!" said Cradell. + +"Well, I suppose he's pretty much known in the world, isn't he? Or Lord +Derby, or Mr Spurgeon. You know what I mean. If I'd got such a chance +as that when I was young, I should never have been doing jobs of +scene-painting at the minor theatres at so much a square yard. You've +got the chance now, but I never had it." + +Whereupon Mr Lupex finished his first measure of gin-and-water. + +"It's a very queer thing--life is," continued Lupex; and, though he did +not at once go to work boldly at the mixing of another glass of toddy, +he began gradually, and as if by instinct, to finger the things which +would be necessary for that operation. "A very queer thing. Now, +remember, young gentlemen, I'm not denying that success in life will +depend upon good conduct--of course it does; but, then, how often good +conduct comes from success! Should I have been what I am now, do you +suppose, if some big fellow had taken me by the hand when I was +struggling to make an artist, of myself? I could have drunk claret and +champagne just as well as gin-and-water, and worn ruffles to my shirt +as gracefully as many a fellow who used to be very fond of me, and now +won't speak to me if he meets me in the streets. I never got a +chance--never." + +"But it's not too late yet, Mr Lupex," said Eames. + +"Yes, it is, Eames--yes, it is." And now Mr Lupex had grasped the +gin-bottle. "It's too late now. The game's over, and the match is lost. +The talent is here. I'm as sure of that now as ever I was. I've never +doubted my own ability--never for a moment. There are men this very day +making a thousand a year off their easels who haven't so good and true +an eye in drawing as I have, or so good a feeling in colours. I could +name them; only I won't." + +"And why shouldn't you try again?" said Eames. + +"If I were to paint the finest piece that ever delighted the eye of +man, who would come and look at it? Who would have enough belief in me +to come as far as this place and see if it were true? No, Eames; I know +my own position and my own ways, and I know my own weakness. I couldn't +do a day's work now, unless I were certain of getting a certain number +of shillings at the end of it. That's what a man comes to when things +have gone against him." + +"But I thought men got lots of money by scene-painting?" + +"I don't know what you may call lots, Mr Cradell; I don't call it lots. +But I'm not complaining. I know who I have to thank; and if ever I blow +my own brains out I shan't be putting the blame on the wrong shoulders. +If you'll take my advice,"--and now he turned round to Eames--"you'll +beware of marrying too soon in life." + +"I think a man should marry early, if he marries well," said Eames. + +"Don't misunderstand me," continued Lupex. "It isn't about Mrs L. I'm +speaking. I've always regarded my wife as a very fascinating woman." + +"Hear, hear, hear!" said Cradell, thumping the table. + +"Indeed she is," said Eames. + +"And when I caution you against marrying, don't you misunderstand me. +I've never said a word against her to any man, and never will. If a man +don't stand by his wife, whom will he stand by? I blame no one but +myself. But I do say this; I never had a chance--I never had a +chance--never had a chance." And as he repeated the words, for the third +time, his lips were already fixed to the rim of his tumbler. + +At this moment the door of the dining-room: was opened, and Mrs Lupex +put in her head. + +"Lupex," she said, "what are you doing?" + +"Yes, my dear. I can't say I'm doing anything at the present moment. I +was giving a little advice to these young gentlemen." + +"Mr Cradell, I wonder at you. And, Mr Eames, I wonder at you, too--in +your position! Lupex, come upstairs at once." She then stepped into the +room and secured the gin-bottle. + +"Oh, Mr Cradell, do come here," said Amelia, in her liveliest tone, as +soon as the men made their appearance above. "I've been waiting for you +this half-hour. I've got such a puzzle for you." And she made way for +him to a chair which was between herself and the wall. Cradell looked +half afraid of his fortunes as he took the proffered seat; but he did +take it, and was soon secured from any positive physical attack by the +strength and breadth of Miss Roper's crinoline. + +"Dear me! Here's a change," said Mrs Lupex, out loud. +Johnny Eames was standing close, and whispered into her ear, "Changes +are so pleasant sometimes! Don't you think so? I do." + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII + +NEMESIS + +Crosbie had now settled down to the calm realities of married life, and +was beginning to think that the odium was dying away which for a week +or two had attached itself to him, partly on account of his usage of +Miss Dale, but more strongly in consequence of the thrashing which he +had received from John Eames. Not that he had in any way recovered his +former tone of life, or that he ever hoped to do so. But he was able to +go in and out of his club without embarrassment. He could talk with his +wonted voice, and act with his wonted authority at his office. He could +tell his friends, with some little degree of pleasure in the sound, +that Lady Alexandrina would be very happy to see them. And he could +make himself comfortable in his own chair after dinner, with his +slippers and his newspaper. He could make himself comfortable, or at +any rate could tell his wife that he did so. + +It was very dull. He was obliged to acknowledge to himself, when he +thought over the subject, that the life which he was leading was dull. +Though he could go into his club without annoyance, nobody there ever +thought of asking him to join them at dinner. It was taken for granted +that he was going to dine at home; and in the absence of any +provocation to the contrary, he always did dine at home. He had now +been in his house for three weeks, and had been asked with his wife to +a few bridal dinner-parties, given chiefly by friends of the De Courcy +family. Except on such occasions he never passed an evening out of his +own house, and had not yet, since his marriage, dined once away from +his wife. He told himself that his good conduct in this respect was the +result of his own resolution; but, nevertheless, he felt that there was +nothing else left for him to do. Nobody asked him to go to the +theatre. Nobody begged him to drop in of an evening. Men never asked +him why he did not play a rubber. He would generally saunter into +Sebright's after he left his office, and lounge about the room for half +an hour, talking to a few men. Nobody was uncivil to him. But he knew +that the whole thing was changed, and he resolved, with some wisdom, to +accommodate himself to his altered circumstances. + +Lady Alexandrina also found her new life rather dull, and was sometimes +inclined to be a little querulous. She would tell her husband that she +never got out, and would declare, when he offered to walk with her, +that she did not care for walking in the streets. "I don't exactly see, +then, where you are to walk," he once replied. She did not tell him +that she was fond of riding, and that the Park was a very fitting place +for such exercise; but she looked it, and he understood her. "I'll do +all I can for her," he said to himself; "but I'll not ruin myself." + +"Amelia is coming to take me for a drive," she said another time. "Ah, +that'll be very nice," he answered. "No; it won't be very nice," said +Alexandrina. "Amelia is always shopping and bargaining with the +tradespeople. But it will be better than being kept in the house +without ever stirring out." + +They breakfasted nominally at half-past nine; in truth, it was always +nearly ten, as Lady Alexandrina found it difficult to get herself out +of her room. At half-past ten punctually he left his house for his +office. He usually got home by six, and then spent the greatest part of +the hour before dinner: in the ceremony of dressing. He went, at least, +into his dressing-room, after speaking a few words to his wife: and +there remained pulling things about, clipping his nails, looking over +any paper that came in his way, and killing the time. He expected his +dinner punctually at seven, and began to feel a little cross if he were +kept waiting. After dinner, he drank one glass of wine in company with +his wife, and one other by himself, during which latter ceremony he +would stare at the hot coals, and think of the thing he had done. Then +he would go upstairs, and have, first a cup of coffee, and then a cup +of tea. He would read his newspaper, open a book or two, hide his face +when he yawned, and try to make believe that he liked it. She had no +signs or words of love for him. She never sat on his knee, or caressed +him. She never showed him that any happiness had come to her in being +allowed to live close to him. They thought that they loved each +other--each thought so; but there was no love, no sympathy, no warmth. +The very atmosphere was cold--so cold that no fire could remove the +chill. + +In what way would it have been different had Lily Dale sat opposite to +him there as his wife, instead of Lady Alexandrina? He told himself +frequently that either with one or with the other life would have been +the same; that he had made himself for a while unfit for domestic life, +and that he must cure himself of that unfitness. But though he declared +this to himself in one set of half-spoken thoughts, he would also +declare to himself in another set, that Lily would have made the whole +house bright with her brightness; that had he brought her home to his +hearth, there would have been a sun shining on him every morning and +every evening. But, nevertheless, he strove to do his duty, and +remembered that the excitement of official life was still open to him. +From eleven in the morning till five in the afternoon he could still +hold a position which made it necessary that men should regard him with +respect, and speak to him with deference. In this respect he was better +off than his wife, for she had no office to which she could betake +herself. + +"Yes," she said to Amelia, "it is all very nice, and I don't mind the +house being damp; but I get so tired of being alone." + +"That must be the case with women who are married to men of business." + +"Oh, I don't complain. Of course I knew what I was about. I suppose it +won't be so very dull when everybody is up in London." + +"I don't find the season makes much difference to us after Christmas," +said Amelia; "but no doubt London is gayer in May. You'll find you'll +like it better next year; and perhaps you'll have a baby, you know." + +"Psha!" ejaculated Lady Alexandrina; "I don't want a baby, and don't +suppose I shall have one." + +"It's always something to do, you know." + +Lady Alexandrina, though she was not of an energetic temperament, could +not but confess to herself that she had made a mistake. She had been +tempted to marry Crosbie because Crosbie was a man of fashion, and now +she was told that the London season would make no difference to her--the +London season which had hitherto always brought to her the excitement +of parties, if it had not given her the satisfaction of amusement. She +had been tempted to marry at all because it appeared to her that a +married woman could enjoy society with less restraint than a girl who +was subject to her mother or her chaperon; that she would have more +freedom of action as a married woman; and now she was told that she +must wait for a baby before she could have anything to do. Courcy +Castle was sometimes dull, but Courcy Castle would have been better +than this. + +When Crosbie returned home after this little conversation about the +baby, he was told by his wife that they were to dine with the Gazebees +on the next Sunday. On hearing this he shook his head with vexation. He +knew, however, that he had no right to make complaint, as he had been +only taken to St. John's Wood once since they had come home from their +marriage trip. There was, however, one point as to which he could +grumble. "Why, on earth, on Sunday?" + +"Because Amelia asked me for Sunday. If you are asked for Sunday, you +cannot say you'll go on Monday." + +"It is so terrible on a Sunday afternoon. At what hour?" + +"She said half-past five." + +"Heavens and earth! What are we to do all the evening?" + +"It is not kind of you, Adolphus, to speak in that way of my relations." + +"Come, my love, that's a joke; as if I hadn't heard you say the same +thing twenty times. You've complained of having to go up there much +more bitterly than I ever did. You know I like your sister, and, in his +way, Gazebee is a very good fellow; but after three or four hours, one +begins to have had enough of him." + +"It can't be much duller than it is--" but Lady Alexandrina stopped +herself before she finished her speech. + +"One can always read at home, at any rate," said Crosbie. + +"One can't always be reading. However, I have said you would go. If you +choose to refuse, you must write and explain." + +When the Sunday came the Crosbies of course did go to St. John's Wood, +arriving punctually at that door which he so hated at half-past five. +One of the earliest resolutions which he made when he first +contemplated the De Courcy match, was altogether hostile to the +Gazebees. He would see but very little of them. He would shake himself +free of that connection. It was not with that branch of the family that +he desired an alliance. But now, as things had gone, that was the only +branch of the family with which he seemed to be allied. He was always +hearing of the Gazebees. Amelia and Alexandrina were constantly +together. He was now dragged there to a Sunday dinner; and he knew that +he should often be dragged there--that he could not avoid such +draggings. He already owed money to Mortimer Gazebee, and was aware +that his affairs had been allowed to fall into that lawyer's hands in +such a way that he could not take them out again. His house was very +thoroughly furnished, and he knew that the bills had been paid; but he +had not paid them; every shilling had been paid through Mortimer +Gazebee. + +"Go with your mother and aunt, De Courcy," the attorney said to the +lingering child after dinner; and then Crosbie was left alone with his +wife's brother-in-law. This was the period of the St. John's Wood +purgatory which was so dreadful to him. With his sister-in-law he could +talk, remembering perhaps always that she was an earl's daughter. But +with Gazebee he had nothing in common. And he felt that Gazebee, who +had once treated him with great deference, had now lost all such +feeling. Crosbie had once been a man of fashion in the estimation of +the attorney, but that was all over. Crosbie, in the attorney's +estimation, was now simply the secretary of a public office--a man who +owed him money. The two had married sisters, and there was no reason +why the light of the prosperous attorney should pale before that of the +civil servant, who was not very prosperous. All this was understood +thoroughly by both the men. + +"There's terrible bad news from Courcy," said the attorney, as soon as +the boy was gone. + +"Why; what's the matter?" + +"Porlock has married--that woman, you know." + +"Nonsense." + +"He has. The old lady has been obliged to tell me, and she's nearly +broken-hearted about it. But that's not the worst of it to my mind. All +the world knows that Porlock had gone to the mischief. But he is going +to bring an action against his father for some arrears of his +allowance, and he threatens to have everything out in court, if he +doesn't get his money." + +"But is there money due to him? + +"Yes, there is. A couple of thousand pounds or so. I suppose I shall +have to find it. But, upon my honour, I don't know where it's to come +from; I don't, indeed. In one way or another, I've paid over fourteen +hundred pounds for you." + +"Fourteen hundred pounds!" + +"Yes, indeed--what with the insurance and the furniture, and the bill +from our house for the settlements. That's not paid yet, but it's the +same thing. A man doesn't get married for nothing, I can tell you." + +"But you've got security." + +"Oh, yes; I've got security. But the thing is the ready money. Our +house has advanced so much on the Courcy property, that they don't like +going any further; and therefore it is that I have to do this myself. +They'll all have to go abroad--that'll be the end of it. There's been +such a scene between the earl and George. George lost his temper and +told the earl that Porlock's marriage was his fault. It has ended in +George with his wife being turned out." + +"He has money of his own." + +"Yes, but he won't spend it. He's coming up here, and we shall find him +hanging about us. I don't mean to give him a bed here, and I advise you +not to do so either. You'll not get rid of him if you do." + +"I have the greatest possible dislike to him." + +"Yes; he's a bad fellow. So is John. Porlock was the best, but he's +gone altogether to ruin. They've made a nice mess of it between them; +haven't they?" + +This was the family for whose sake Crosbie had jilted Lily Dale! His +single and simple ambition had been that of being an earl's son-in-law. +To achieve that it had been necessary that he should make himself a +villain. In achieving it he had gone through all manner of dirt and +disgrace. He had married a woman whom he knew he did not love. He was +thinking almost hourly of a girl whom he had loved, whom he did love, +but whom he had so injured, that, under no circumstances, could he be +allowed to speak to her again. The attorney there--who sat opposite to +him, talking about his thousands of pounds with that disgusting assumed +solicitude which such men put on, when they know very well what they +are doing--had made a similar marriage. But he had known what he, was +about. He had got from his marriage all that he had expected. But what +had Crosbie got? + +"They're a bad set--a bad set," said he in his bitterness. + +"The men are," said Gazebee, very comfortably. + +"H-m," said Crosbie. It was manifest to Gazebee that his friend was +expressing a feeling that the women, also, were not all that they +should be, but he took no offence, though some portion of the censure +might thereby be supposed to attach to his own wife. + +"The countess means well," said Gazebee. "But she's had a hard life of +it--a very hard life. I've heard him call her names that would frighten +a coalheaver. I have, indeed. But he'll die soon, and then she'll be +comfortable. She has three thousand a year jointure." + +He'll die soon, and then she'll be comfortable! That was one phase of +married life. As Crosbie's mind dwelt upon the words, he remembered +Lily's promise made in the fields, that she would do everything for +him. He remembered his kisses; the touch of her fingers; the low +silvery laughing voice; the feel of her dress as she would press close +to him. After that he reflected whether it would not be well that he +too should die, so that Alexandrina might be comfortable. She and her +mother might be very comfortable together, with plenty of money, at +Baden Baden! + +The squire at Allington, and Mrs Dale, and Lady Julia de Guest, had +been, and still were, uneasy in their minds because no punishment had +fallen upon Crosbie--no vengeance had overtaken him in consequence of +his great sin. How little did they know about it! Could he have been +prosecuted and put into prison, with hard labour, for twelve months, +the punishment would not have been heavier. He would, in that case, at +any rate, have been saved from Lady Alexandrina. + +"George and his wife are coming up to town; couldn't we ask them to +come to us for a week or so?" said his wife to him, as soon as they +were in the fly together, going home. + +"No," shouted Crosbie; "we will do no such thing." There was not +another word said on the subject--nor on any other subject till they got +home. When they reached their house Alexandrina had a headache, and +went up to her room immediately. Crosbie threw himself into a chair +before the remains of a fire in the dining-room, and resolved that he +would cut the whole De Courcy family together. His wife, as his wife, +should obey him. She should obey him--or else leave him and go her way +by herself, leaving him to go his way. There was an income of twelve +hundred a year. Would it not be a fine thing for him if he could keep +six hundred for himself and return to his old manner of life. All his +old comforts of course he would not have--nor the old esteem and regard +of men. But the luxury of a club dinner he might enjoy. Un-embarrassed +evenings might be his--with liberty to him to pass them as he pleased. +He knew many men who were separated from their wives, and who seemed to +be as happy as their neighbours. And then he remembered how ugly +Alexandrina had been this evening, wearing a great tinsel coronet full +of false stones, with a cold in her head which had reddened her nose. +There had, too, fallen upon her in these her married days a certain +fixed dreary dowdiness. She certainly was very plain! So he said to +himself, and then he went to bed. I myself am inclined to think that +his punishment was sufficiently severe. + +The next morning his wife still complained of headache, so that he +breakfasted alone. Since that positive refusal which he had given to +her proposition for inviting her brother, there had not been much +conversation between them. "My head is splitting, and Sarah shall bring +some tea and toast up to me, if you will not mind it." + +He did not mind it in the least, and ate his breakfast by himself, with +more enjoyment than usually attended that meal. + +It was clear to him that all the present satisfaction of his life must +come to him from his office work. There are men who find it difficult +to live without some source of daily comfort, and he was such a man. He +could hardly endure his life unless there were some page in it on which +he could look with gratified eyes. He had always liked his work, and he +now determined that he would, like it better than ever. But in order +that he might do so it was necessary that he should have much of his +own way. According to the theory of his office, it was incumbent on him +as Secretary simply to take the orders of the Commissioners, and see +that they were executed; and to such work as this his predecessor had +strictly confined himself. But he had already done, more than this, and +had conceived the ambition of holding the Board almost under his thumb. +He flattered himself that he knew his own work and theirs better than +they knew either, and that by a little management he might be their +master. It is not impossible that such might have been the case had +there been no fracas at the Paddington station; but, as we all know, +the dominant cock of the farmyard must be ever dominant. When he shall +once have had his wings so smeared with mud as to give him even the +appearance of adversity, no other cock will ever respect him again. Mr +Optimist and Mr Butterwell knew very well that their secretary had been +cudgelled, and they could not submit themselves to a secretary who had +been so treated. + +"Oh, by-the-by, Crosbie," said Butterwell, coming into his room, soon +after his arrival at his office on that day of his solitary breakfast, +"I want to say just a few words to you." And Butterwell turned round +and closed the door, the lock of which had not previously been +fastened. Crosbie, without much thinking, immediately foretold himself +the nature of the coming conversation. + +"Do you know--" said Butterwell, beginning. + +"Sit down, won't you?" said Crosbie, seating himself as he spoke. If +there was to be a contest, he would make the best fight he could. He +would show a better spirit here than he had done on the railway +platform. Butterwell did sit down and felt as he did so, that the very +motion of sitting took away some of his power. He ought to have sent +for Crosbie into his own room. A man, when he wishes to reprimand +another, should always have the benefit of his own atmosphere. + +"I don't want to find any fault," Butterwell began. + +"I hope you have not any cause," said Crosbie. + +"No, no; I don't say that I have. But we think at the Board--" + +"Stop, stop, Butterwell. If anything unpleasant is coming, it had +better come from the Board. I should take it in better spirit; I +should, indeed." + +"What takes place at the Board must be official." + +"I should not mind that in the least. I should rather like it than +otherwise." + +"It simply amounts to this--that we think you are taking a little too +much on yourself. No doubt, it's a fault on the right side, and arises +from your wishing to have the work well done." + +"And if I don't do it, who will?" asked Crosbie. + +"The Board is very well able to get through all that appertains to it. +Come, Crosbie, you and I have known each other a great many years, and +it would be pity that we should have any words. I have come to you in +this way because it would be disagreeable to you to have any question +raised officially. Optimist isn't given to being very angry, but he was +downright angry yesterday. You had better take what I say in good part, +and go along a little quieter." + +But Crosbie was not in a humour to take anything quietly. He was sore +all over, and prone to hit out at everybody that he met. "I have done +my duty to the best of my ability, Mr Butterwell," he said, "and I +believe I have done it well. I believe I know my duty here as well as +any one can teach me. If I have done more than my share of work, it is +because other people have done less than theirs". As he spoke, there +was a black cloud upon his brow, and the Commissioner could perceive +that the Secretary was very wrathful. + +"Oh! very well," said Butterwell, rising from his chair. "I can only, +under such circumstances, speak to the Chairman, and he will tell you +what he thinks at the Board. I think you're foolish; I do, indeed. As +for myself, I have only meant to act kindly by you." After that, Mr +Butterwell took himself off. + +On the same afternoon, Crosbie was summoned into the Board-room in the +usual way, between two and three. This was a daily occurrence, as he +always sat for about an hour with two out of the three Commissioners, +after they had fortified themselves with a biscuit and a glass of +sherry. On the present occasion, the usual amount of business was +transacted, but it was done in a manner which made Crosbie feel that +they did not all stand together on their usual footing. The three +Commissioners were all there. The Chairman gave his directions in a +solemn, pompous voice, which was by no means usual to him when he was +in good humour. The Major said little or nothing; but there was agleam +of satisfied sarcasm in his eye. Things were going wrong at the Board, +and he was pleased. + +Mr Butterwell was exceedingly civil in his demeanour, and rather more +than ordinarily brisk. As soon as the regular work of the day was over, +Mr Optimist shuffled about on his chair, rising from his seat, and then +sitting down again. He looked through a lot of papers close to his +hand, peering at them over his spectacles. Then he selected one, took +off his spectacles, leaned back in his chair, and began his little +speech. + +"Mr Crosbie," he said, "we are all very much gratified--very much +gratified, indeed--by your zeal and energy in the service." + +"Thank you, sir," said Crosbie; "I am fond of the service." + +"Exactly, exactly; we all feel that. But we think that you--if I were to +say take too much upon yourself, I should say, perhaps, more than we +mean." + +"Don't say more than you mean, Mr Optimist." Crosbie's eyes, as he +spoke, gleamed slightly with his momentary triumph; as did also those +of Major Fiasco. + +"No, no, no," said Mr Optimist; "I would say rather less than more to +so very good a public servant as yourself. But you, doubtless, +understand me?" + +"I don't think I do quite, sir. If I have not taken too much on me, +what is it that I have done that I ought not to have done?" + +"You have given directions in many cases for which you ought first to +have received authority. Here is an instance," and the selected paper +was at once brought out. + +It was a matter in which the Secretary had been manifestly wrong +according to written law, and he could not defend it on its own merits. + +"If you wish me," said he, "to confine myself exactly to the positive +instructions of the office, I will do so; but I think you will find it +inconvenient." + +"It will be far the best" said Mr Optimist. + +"Very well," said Mr Crosbie, "it shall be done." And he at once +determined to make himself as unpleasant to the three gentlemen in the +room as he might find it within his power to do. He could make himself +very unpleasant, but the unpleasantness would be as much to him as to +them. + +Nothing would now go right with him. He could look in no direction for +satisfaction. He sauntered into Sebright's, as he went home, but he +could not find--words to speak to any one about the little matters of +the day. He went home, and his wife, though she was up, complained +still of her headache. + +"I haven't been out of the house all day," she said, "and that has made +it worse." + +"I don't know how you are to get out if you won't walk," he answered. + +Then there was no more said between them till they sat down to their +meal. + +Had the squire at Allington known all, he might, I think, have been +satisfied with the punishment which Crosbie had encountered. + + + +CHAPTER XLIX + +PREPARATIONS FOR GOING + +"Mamma, read that letter." + +It was Mrs Dale's eldest daughter who spoke to her, and they were alone +together in the parlour at the Small House. Mrs Dale took the letter +and read it very carefully. She then put it back into its envelope and +returned it to Bell. + +"It is, at any rate, a good letter, and, as I believe, tells the truth." + +"I think it tells a little more than the truth, mamma. As you say, it +is a well-written letter. He always writes well when he is in earnest. +But yet--" + +"Yet what, my dear?" + +"There is more head than heart in it." + +"If so, he will suffer the less; that is, if you are quite resolved in +the matter." + +"I am quite resolved, and I do not think he will suffer much. He would +not, I suppose, have taken the trouble to write like that, if he did +not wish this thing." + +"I am quite sure that he does wish it, most earnestly; and that he will +be greatly disappointed." + +"As he would be if any other scheme did not turn out to his +satisfaction; that is all." + +The letter, of course, was from Bell's cousin Bernard, and containing +the strongest plea he was able to make in favour, of his suit for her +hand. Bernard Dale was better able to press such a plea by letter than +by spoken words. He was a man capable of doing anything well in the +doing of, which a little time for consideration might be given to him; +but he had not in him that power of passion which will force a man to +eloquence in asking for that which he desires to obtain. His letter on +this occasion was long, and well argued. If there was little in it of +passionate love, there was much of pleasant flattery. He told Bell how +advantageous to both their families their marriage would be; he +declared to her, that his own feeling in the matter had been rendered +stronger by absence; he alluded without boasting to his past career of +life as her best guarantee for his future conduct; he explained to her +that if this marriage could be arranged there need then, at any rate, +be no further question as to his aunt removing with Lily from the Small +House; and then he told her that his affection for herself was the +absorbing passion of his existence. Had the letter been written with +the view of obtaining from a third person a favourable verdict as to +his suit, it would have been a very good letter indeed; but there vas +not a word in it that could stir the heart of such a girl as Bell Dale. + +"Answer him kindly," Mrs Dale said. + +"As kindly as I know how," said Bell. "I wish you would write the +letter, mamma." + +"I fear that would not do. What I should say would only tempt him to +try again." + +Mrs Dale knew very well-had known for some months past--that Bernard's +suit was hopeless. She felt certain, although the matter had not been +discussed between them, that whenever Dr Crofts might choose to come +again and ask for her daughter's hand he would not be refused. Of the +two men she probably liked Dr Crofts the best; but she liked them both, +and she could not but remember that the one, in a worldly point of +view, would be a very poor match, whereas the other would, in all +respects, be excellent. She would not, on any account, say a word to +influence her daughter, and knew, moreover, that no word which she +could say would influence her; but she could not divest herself of some +regret that it should be so. + +"I know what you would wish, mamma," said Bell. + +"I have but one wish, dearest, and that is for your happiness. May God +preserve you from any such fate as Lily's. When I tell you to write +kindly to your cousin, I simply mean that I think him to have deserved +a kind reply by his honesty." + +"It shall be as kind as I can make it, mamma; but you know what the +lady says in the play--how hard it is to take the sting from that word +'no.'" Then Bell walked out alone for a while, and on her return got +her desk and wrote her letter. It was very firm and decisive. As for +that wit which should pluck the sting "from such a sharp and waspish +word as 'no,'" I fear she had it not. "It will be better to make him +understand that I, also, am in earnest," she said to herself; and in +this frame of mind she wrote her letter. "Pray do not allow yourself to +think that what I have said is unfriendly," she added, in a postscript. +"I know how good you are, and I know the great value of what I refuse; +but in this matter it must be my duty to tell you the simple truth." + +It had been decided between the squire and Mrs Dale that the removal +from the Small House to Guestwick was not to take place till the first +of May. When he had been made to understand that Dr Crofts had thought +it injudicious that Lily should be taken out of their present house in +March, he had used all the eloquence of which he was master to induce +Mrs Dale to consent to abandon her project. He had told her that he had +always considered that house as belonging, of right, to some other of +the family than himself; that it had always been so inhabited, and that +no squire of Allington had for years past taken rent for it. "There is +no favour conferred--none at all," he had said; but speaking +nevertheless in his usual sharp, ungenial tone. + +"There is a favour, a great favour, and great generosity," Mrs Dale had +replied. "And I have never been too proud to accept it; but when I tell +you that we think we shall be happier at Guestwick, you will not, +refuse to let us go. Lily has had a great blow in that house, and Bell +feels that she is running counter to your wishes on her behalf-wishes +that are so very kind!'' + +"No more need be said about that. All that may come right yet, if you +will remain where you are." + +But Mrs Dale knew that "all that" could never come right, and +persisted. Indeed, she would hardly have dared to tell her girls that +she had yielded to the squire's entreaties. It was just then, at that +very, time, that the squire was, as it were, in treaty with the earl +about Lily's fortune; and he did feel it hard that, he should be +opposed in such a way by his own relatives at the moment when he was +behaving towards them with so much generosity. But in his arguments +about the house he said nothing of Lily, or her future prospects. + +They were to move on the first of May, and one week of April was +already past. The squire had said nothing further on the matter after +the interview with Mrs Dale to which allusion has just been made. He +was vexed and sore at the separation, thinking that he was ill-used, +by the feeling, which was displayed by this refusal. He had done his +duty by them, as he thought; indeed more than his duty, and now they +told him that they were leaving him because they could no longer bear +the weight of an obligation conferred by his hands. But in truth he did +not understand them; nor did they understand him. He had been hard in +his manner, and had occasionally domineered, not feeling that his +position, though it gave him all the privileges of a near and a dear +friend, did not give him the authority of a father or a husband. In +that matter of Bernard's proposed marriage he had spoken as though Bell +should have considered his wishes before she refused her cousin. He had +taken upon himself to scold Mrs Dale, and had thereby given offence to +the girls, which they at the time had found it utterly impossible to +forgive. + +But they were hardly better satisfied in the matter than was he; and +now that the time had come, though they could not bring themselves to +go back from their demand, almost felt that they were treating the +squire with cruelty. When their decision had been made--while it had +been making--he had been stern and hard to them. Since that he had been +softened by Lily's misfortune, and softened also by the anticipated +loneliness which would come upon him when they should be gone from his +side. It was hard upon him that they should so treat him when he was +doing his best for them all! And they also felt this, though they did +not know the extent to which he was anxious to go in serving them. When +they had sat round the fire planning the scheme of their removal, their +hearts had been hardened against him, and they had resolved to assert +their independence. But now, when the time for action had come, they +felt that their grievances against him had already been in a great +measure assuaged. This tinged all that they did with a certain sadness; +but still they continued their work. + +Who does not know how terrible are those preparations for +house-moving--how infinite in number are the articles which must be +packed, how inexpressibly uncomfortable is the period of packing, and +how poor and tawdry is the aspect of one's belongings while they are +thus in a state of dislocation? Nowadays people who understand the +world, and have money commensurate with their understanding, have +learned the way of shunning all these disasters, and of leaving the +work to the hands of persons paid for doing it. The crockery is left in +the cupboards, the books on the shelves, the wine in the bins, the +curtains in their poles, and the family that is understanding goes for +a fortnight to Brighton. At the end of that time the crockery is +comfortably settled in other cupboards, the books on other shelves, the +wine in other bins, the curtains are hung on other poles, and all is +arranged. But Mrs Dale and her daughters understood nothing of such a +method of moving as this. The assistance of the village carpenter in +filling certain cases that he had made was all that they knew how to +obtain beyond that of their own two servants. Every article had to pass +through the hands of some one of the family; and as they felt almost +overwhelmed by the extent of the work to be done, they began it much +sooner than was necessary, so that it became evident as they advanced +in their work, that they would have to pass a dreadfully dull, stupid, +uncomfortable week at last, among their boxes and cases, in all the +confusion of dismantled furniture. + +At first an edict had gone forth that Lily was to do nothing. She was +an invalid, and was to be petted and kept quiet. But this edict soon +fell to the ground, and Lily worked harder than either her mother or +her sister. In truth she was hardly an invalid any longer, and would +not submit to an invalid's treatment. She felt herself that for the +present constant occupation could alone save her from the misery of +looking back--and she had conceived an idea that the harder that +occupation was, the better it would be for her. While pulling down the +books, and folding the linen, and turning out from their old +hiding-places the small long-forgotten properties of the household, she +would be as gay as ever she had been in old times. She would talk over +her work, standing with flushed cheek and laughing eyes among the dusty +ruins around her, till for a moment her mother would think that all was +well within her. But then at other moments, when the reaction came, it +would seem as though nothing were well. She could not sit quietly over +the fire, with quiet rational work in her hands, and chat in a rational +quiet way. Not as yet could she do so. Nevertheless it was well with +her--within her own bosom. She had declared to herself that she would +conquer her misery--as she had also declared to herself during her +illness that her misfortune should not kill her--and she was in the way +to conquer it. She told herself that the world was not over for her +because her sweet hopes had been frustrated. The wound had been deep +and very sore, but the flesh of the patient had been sound and healthy, +and her blood pure. A physician having knowledge in such cases would +have declared, after long watching of her symptoms, that a cure was +probable. Her mother was the physician who watched her with the closest +eyes; and she, though she was sometimes driven to doubt, did hope, with +stronger hope from day to day, that her child might live to remember +the story of her love without abiding agony. + +That nobody should talk to her about it--that had been the one +stipulation which she had seemed to make, not sending forth a request +to that effect among her friends in so many words, but showing by +certain signs that such was her stipulation. A word to that effect she +had spoken to her uncle--as may be remembered, which word had been +regarded with the closest obedience. She had gone out into her little +world very soon after the news of Crosbie's falsehood had reached +her--first to church and then among the people of the village, resolving +to carry herself as though no crushing weight had fallen upon her. The +village people had understood it all, listening to her and answering +her without the proffer of any outspoken parley. + +"Lord bless ee," said Mrs Crump, the postmistress--and Mrs Crump was +supposed to have the sourest temper in Allington--"whenever I look at +thee, Miss Lily, I thinks that surely thee is the beautifulest young +'ooman in all these parts." + +"And you are the crossest old woman," said Lily, laughing, and giving +her hand to the postmistress. + +"So I be," said Mrs Crump. "So I be." Then Lily sat down in the cottage +and asked after her ailments. With Mrs Hearn it was the same. Mrs +Hearn, after that first meeting which has been already mentioned, +petted and caressed her, but spoke no further word of her misfortune. +When Lily called a second time upon Mrs Boyce, which she did boldly by +herself, that lady did begin one other word of commiseration. "My +dearest Lily, we have all been made so unhappy--" So far Mrs Boyce got, +sitting close to Lily and striving to look into her face; but Lily, +with a slightly heightened colour, turned sharp round upon one of the +Boyce girls, tearing Mrs Boyce's commiseration into the smallest +shreds. "Minnie," she said, speaking quite loud, almost with girlish +ecstasy, "what do you think Tartar did yesterday? I never laughed so +much in my life." Then she told a ludicrous story about a very ugly +terrier which belonged to the squire. After that even Mrs Boyce made no +further attempt. Mrs Dale and Bell both understood that such was to be +the rule--the rule even to them. Lily would speak to them occasionally +on the matter--to one of them at a time, beginning with some almost +single word of melancholy resignation, and then would go on till she +opened her very bosom before them; but no such conversation was ever +begun by them. But now, in these busy days of the packing, that topic +seemed to have been banished altogether. + +"Mamma," she said, standing on the top rung of a house-ladder, from +which position she was handing down glass out of a cupboard, "are you +sure that these things are ours? I think some of them belong to the +house." + +"I'm sure about that bowl at any rate, because it was my mother's +before I was married." + +"Oh, dear, what should I do if I were to break it? Whenever I handle +anything very precious I always feel inclined to throw it down and +smash it. Oh! it was as nearly gone as possible, mamma; but that was +your fault." + +"If you don't take care you'll be nearly gone yourself. Do take hold of +something." + +"Oh, Bell, here's the inkstand for which you've been moaning for three +years." + +"I haven't been moaning for three years; but who could have put it up +there? + +"Catch it," said Lily; and she threw the bottle down on to a pile of +carpets. + +At this moment a step was heard in the hall, and the squire entered +through the open door of the room. "So you're all at work," said he. + +"Yes, we're at work," said Mrs Dale, almost with a tone of shame. "If +it is to be done it is as well that it should be got over." + +"It makes me wretched enough," said the squire. "But I didn't come to +talk about that. I've brought you a note from Lady Julia de Guest, and +I've had one from the earl. They want us all to go there and stay the +week after Easter." + +Mrs Dale and the girls, when this very sudden proposition was made to +them, all remained fixed in their place, and, for a moment, were +speechless. Go and stay a week at Guestwick Manor! The whole family! +Hitherto the intercourse between the Manor and the Small House had been +confined to morning calls, very far between. Mrs Dale had never dined +there, and had latterly even deputed the calling to her daughters. Once +Bell had dined there with her uncle, the squire, and once Lily had gone +over with her uncle Orlando. Even this had been long ago, before they +were quite brought out, and they had regarded the occasion with the +solemn awe of children. Now, at this time of their flitting into some +small mean dwelling at Guestwick, they had previously settled among +themselves that that affair of calling at the Manor might be allowed to +drop. Mrs Eames never called, and they were descending to the level of +Mrs Eames. "Perhaps we shall get game sent to us, and that will be +better," Lily had said. And now, at this very moment of their descent +in life, they were all asked to go and stay a week at the Manor! Stay a +week with Lady Julia! Had the Queen sent the Lord Chamberlain down to +bid them all go to Windsor Castle it could hardly have startled them +more at the first blow. Bell had been seated on the folded carpet when +her uncle had entered, and now had again sat herself in the same place. +Lily was still standing at the top of the ladder, and Mrs Dale was at +the foot with one hand on Lily's dress. The squire had told his story +very abruptly, but he was a man who, having a story to tell, knew +nothing better than to tell it out abruptly, letting out everything at +the first moment. + +"Wants us all!" said Mrs Dale. "How many does the all mean?" Then she +opened Lady Julia's note and read it, not moving from her position at +the foot of the ladder. + +"Do let me see, mamma," said Lily; and then the note was handed up to +her. Had Mrs Dale well considered the matter she might probably have +kept the note to herself for a while, but the whole thing was so sudden +that she had not considered the matter well. + +My dear Mrs Dale (the letter ran)--I send this inside a note from my +brother to Mr Dale. We particularly want you and your two girls to come +to us for a week from the seventeenth of this month. Considering our +near connection we ought to have seen more of each other than we have +done for years past, and of course it has been our fault. But it is +never too late to amend one's ways; and I hope you will receive my +confession in the true spirit of affection in which it is intended, and +that you will show your goodness by coming to us. I will do all I can +to make the house pleasant to your girls, for both of whom I have much +real regard. + +I should tell you that John Eames will be here for the same week. My +brother is very fond of him, and thinks him the best young man of the +day. He is one of my heroes, too, I must confess. + +Very sincerely yours, + +JULIA DE GUEST. + + +Lily, standing on the ladder, read the letter very attentively. The +squire meanwhile stood below speaking a word or two to his +sister-in-law and niece. No one could see Lily's face, as it was turned +away towards the window, and it was still averted when she spoke. "It +is out of the question that we should go, mamma--that is, all of us." + +"Why out of the question?" said the squire. + +"A whole family!" said Mrs Dale. + +"That is just what they want," said the squire. + +"I should like of all things to be left alone for a week," said Lily, +"if mamma and Bell would go." + +"That wouldn't do at all," said the squire. "Lady Julia specially wants +you to be one of the party." + +The thing had been badly managed altogether. The reference in Lady +Julia's note to John Eames had explained to Lily the whole scheme at +once, and had so opened her eyes that all the combined influence of the +Dale and De Guest families could not have dragged her over to the Manor. + +"Why not do? "said Lily. "It would be out of the question a whole +family going in that way, but it would be very nice for Bell." + +"No, it would not," said Bell. + +"Don't be ungenerous about it, my dear," said the squire turning to +Bell; "Lady Julia means to be kind. But, my darling," and the squire +turned again towards Lily, addressing her, as was his wont in these +days, with an affection that was almost vexatious to her; "but, my +darling, why should you not go? A change of scene like that will do you +all the good in the world, just when you are getting well. Mary, tell +the girls they ought to go." + +Mrs Dale stood silent, again reading the note, and Lily came down from +the ladder. When she reached the floor she went directly up to her +uncle, and taking his hand turned him round with herself towards one of +the windows, so that they stood with their backs to the room. "Uncle," +she said, "do not be angry with me. I can't go;" and then she put up +her face to kiss him. + +He stooped and kissed her and still held her hand. He looked into her +face and read it all. He knew well, now, why she could not go; or, +rather, why she herself thought that she could not go. "Cannot you, my +darling?" he said. + +"No, uncle. It is very kind--very kind; but I cannot go. I am not fit to +go anywhere." + +"But you should get over that feeling. You should make a struggle." + +"I am struggling, and I shall succeed; but I cannot do it all at once. +At any rate I could not go there. You must give my love to Lady Julia, +and not let her think me cross. Perhaps Bell will go." + +What would be the good of Bell's going--or the good of his putting +himself out of the way, by a visit which would of itself be so tiresome +to him, if the one object of the visit could not be carried out? The +earl and his sister had planned the invitation with the express +intention of bringing Lily and Eames together. It seemed that Lily was +firm in her determination to resist this intention; and, if so, it +would be better that the whole thing should fall to the ground. He was +very vexed, and yet he was not angry with her. Everybody lately had +opposed him in everything. All his intended family arrangements had +gone wrong. But yet he was seldom angry respecting them. He was so +accustomed to be thwarted that he hardly expected success. In this +matter of providing Lily with a second lover, he had not come forward +of his own accord. He had been appealed to by his neighbour the earl, +and had certainly answered the appeal with much generosity. He had been +induced to make the attempt with eagerness, and a true desire for its +accomplishment; but in this, as in all his own schemes, he was met at +once by opposition and failure. + +"I will leave you to talk it over among yourselves," he said. "But, +Mary, you had better see me before you send your answer. If you will +come up by-and-by, Ralph shall take the two notes over together in the +afternoon." So saying, he left the Small House, and went back to his +own solitary home. + +"Lily, dear," said Mrs Dale, as soon as the front door had been closed, +"this is meant for kindness to you--for most affectionate kindness." + +"I know it, mamma; and you must go to Lady Julia, and must tell her +that I know it. You must give her my love. And, indeed, I do love her +now. But--" + +"You won't go, Lily?" said Mrs Dale, beseechingly. + +"No, mamma; certainly I will not go." Then she escaped out of the room +by herself, and for the next hour neither of them dared to go to her. + + + +CHAPTER L + +MRS DALE IS THANKFUL FOR A GOOD THING + +On that day they dined early at the Small House, as they had been in +the habit of doing since the packing had commenced. And after dinner +Mrs Dale went through the gardens, up to the other house, with a +written note in her hand. In that note she had told Lady Julia, with +many protestations of gratitude, that Lily was unable to go out so soon +after her illness, and that she herself was obliged to stay with Lily. +She explained also, that the business of moving was in hand, and that, +therefore, she could not herself accept the invitation. But her other +daughter, she said, would be very happy to accompany her uncle to +Guestwick Manor. Then, without closing her letter, she took it up to +the squire in order that it might be decided whether it would or would +not suit his views. It might well be that he would not care to go to +Lord de Guest's with Bell alone. + +"Leave it with me," he said; "that is, if you do not object." + +"Oh dear, no!" + +"I'll tell you the plain truth at once, Mary. I shall go over myself +with it, and see the earl. Then I will decline it or not, according to +what passes between me and him. I wish Lily would have gone." + +"Ah! she could not." + +"I wish she could. I wish she could. I wish she could." As he repeated +the words over and over again, there was an eagerness in his voice that +filled Mrs Dale's heart with tenderness towards him. + +"The truth is," said Mrs Dale, "she could not go there to meet John +Eames." + +"Oh, I know," said the squire: "I understand it. But that is just what +we want her to do. Why should she not spend a week in the same house +with an honest young man whom we all like." + +"There are reasons why she would not wish it." + +"Ah, exactly; the very reasons which should make us induce her to go +there if we can. Perhaps I had better tell you all. Lord de Guest has +taken him by the hand, and wishes him to marry. He has promised to +settle on him an income which will make him comfortable for life." + +"That is very generous; and I am delighted to hear it--for John's sake." + +"And they have promoted him at his office." + +"Ah! then he will do well." + +"He will do very well. He is private secretary now to their head man. +And, Mary, so that she, Lily, should not be empty--handed if their +marriage can be arranged, I have undertaken to settle a hundred a year +on her--on her and her children, if she will accept him. Now you know it +all. I did not mean to tell you; but it is as well that you should have +the means of judging. That other man was a villain. This man is honest. +Would it not be well that she should learn to like him? She always did +like him, I thought, before that other fellow came down here among us." + +"She has always liked him--as a friend." + +"She will never get a better lover." + +Mrs Dale sat silent, thinking over it all. Every word that the squire +said was true. It would be a healing of wounds most desirable and +salutary; an arrangement advantageous to them all; a destiny for Lily +most devoutly to be desired--if only it were possible. Mrs Dale firmly +believed that if her daughter could be made to accept John Eames as her +second lover in a year or two all would be well. Crosbie would then be +forgotten or thought of without regret, and Lily would become the +mistress of a happy home. But there are positions which cannot be +reached, though there be no physical or material objection in the way. +It is the view which the mind takes of a thing which creates the sorrow +that arises from it. If the heart were always malleable and the +feelings could be controlled, who would permit himself to be tormented +by any of the reverses which affection meets? Death would create no +sorrow, ingratitude would lose its sting; and the betrayal of love +would do no injury beyond that which it might entail upon worldly +circumstances. But the heart is not malleable; nor will the feelings +admit of such control. + +"It is not possible for her," said Mrs Dale. "I fear it is not +possible. It is too soon." + +"Six months," pleaded the squire. + +"It will take years--not months," said Mrs Dale. + +"And she will lose all her youth." + +"Yes; he has done all that by his treachery. But it is done, and we +cannot now go back. She loves him yet as dearly as she ever loved him." + +Then the squire muttered certain words below his breath--ejaculations +against Crosbie, which were hardly voluntary; but even as involuntary +ejaculations were very improper. Mrs Dale heard them, and was not +offended either by their impropriety or their warmth. "But you can +understand," she said, "that she cannot bring herself to go there." The +squire struck the table with his fist, and repeated his ejaculations. +If he could only have known how very disagreeable Lady Alexandrina was +making herself, his spirit might, perhaps, have been less vehemently +disturbed. If, also, he could have perceived and understood the light +in which an alliance with the De Courcy family was now regarded by +Crosbie, I think that he would have received some consolation from that +consideration. Those who offend us are generally punished for the +offence they give; but we so frequently miss the satisfaction of +knowing that we are avenged! It is arranged, apparently, that the +injurer shall be punished, but that the person injured shall not +gratify his desire for vengeance. + +"And will you go to Guestwick yourself?" asked Mrs Dale. + +"I will take the note," said the squire, "and will let you know +tomorrow. The earl has behaved so kindly that every possible +consideration is due to him. I had better tell him the whole truth, and +go or stay, as he may wish. I don't see the good of going. What am I to +do at Guestwick Manor? I did think that if we had all been there it +might have cured some difficulties." + +Mrs Dale got up to leave him, but she could not go without saying some +word of gratitude for all that he had attempted to do for them. She +well knew what he meant by the curing of difficulties. He had intended +to signify that had they lived together for a week at Guestwick the +idea of flitting from Allington might possibly have been abandoned. It +seemed now to Mrs Dale as though her brother-in-law were heaping coals +of fire on her head in return for that intention. She felt half-ashamed +of what she was doing, almost acknowledging to herself that she should +have borne with his sternness in return for the benefits he had done to +her daughters. Had she not feared their reproaches she would, even now, +have given way. + +"I do not know what I ought to say to you for your kindness." + +"Say nothing--either for my kindness or unkindness; but stay where you +are, and let us live like Christians together, striving to think good +and not evil." These were kind, loving words, showing in themselves a +spirit of love and forbearance; but they were spoken in a harsh, +unsympathising voice, and the speaker, as he uttered them, looked +gloomily at the fire. In truth the squire, as he spoke, was +half-ashamed of the warmth of what he said. + +"At any rate I will not think evil," Mrs Dale answered, giving him her +hand. After that she left him, and returned home. It was too late for +her to abandon her project of moving and remain at the Small House; but +as she went across the garden she almost confessed to herself that she +repented of what she was doing. + +In these days of the cold early spring, the way from the lawn into the +house, through the drawing-room window, was not as yet open, and it was +necessary to go round by the kitchen-garden on to the road, and thence +in by the front door; or else to pass through the back door, and into +the house by the kitchen. This latter mode of entrance Mrs Dale now +adopted; and as she made her way into the hall Lily came upon her, with +very silent steps, out from the parlour, and arrested her progress. +There was a smile upon Lily's face as she lifted up her finger as if in +caution, and no one looking at her would have supposed that she was +herself in trouble. "Mamma," she said, pointing to the drawing-room +door, and speaking almost in a whisper, "you must not go in there; come +into the parlour." + +"Who's there? Where's Bell?" and Mrs Dale went into the parlour as she +was bidden. "But who is there?" she repeated. + +"He's there!" + +"Who is he?" + +"Oh, mamma, don't be a goose! Dr Crofts is there, of course. He's been +nearly an hour. I wonder how he is managing, for there is nothing on +earth to sit upon but the old lump of a carpet. The room is strewed +about with crockery, and Bell is such a figure! She has got on your old +checked apron, and when he came in she was rolling up the fire-irons in +brown paper. I don't suppose she was ever in such a mess before. +There's one thing certain--he can't kiss her hand." + +"It's you are the goose, Lily." + +"But he's in there certainly, unless he has gone out through the +window, or up the chimney." + +"What made you leave them?" + +"He met me here, in the passage, and spoke to me ever so seriously. +Come in, I said, and see Bell packing the pokers and tongs. I will go +in, he said, but don't come with me. He was ever so serious, and I'm +sure he had been thinking of it all the way along." + +"And why should he not be serious?" + +"Oh, no, of course he ought to be serious; but are you not glad, mamma? +I am so glad. We shall live alone together, you and I; but she will be +so close to us! My belief is that he'll stay there for ever unless +somebody does something. I have been so tired of waiting and looking +out for you. Perhaps he's helping her to pack the things. Don't you +think we might go in; or would it be ill-natured? + +"Lily, don't be in too great a hurry to say anything. You may be +mistaken, you know; and there's many a slip between the cup and the +lip." + +"Yes, mamma, there is," said Lily, putting her hand inside her mother's +arm, "that's true enough." + +"Oh, my darling, forgive me," said the mother, suddenly remembering +that the use of the old proverb at the present moment had been almost +cruel. + +"Do not mind it," said Lily, "it does not hurt me, it does me good; +that is to say, when there is nobody by except yourself. But, with +God's help, there shall be no slip here, and she shall be happy. It is +all the difference between one thing done in a hurry, and another done +with much thinking. But they'll remain there for ever if we don't go +in. Come, mamma, you open the door." + +Then Mrs Dale did open the door, giving some little premonitory notice +with the handle, so that the couple inside might be warned of +approaching footsteps. Crofts had not escaped, either through the +window or up the chimney, but was seated in the middle of the room on +an empty box, just opposite to Bell, who was seated upon the lump of +carpeting. Bell still wore the checked apron as described by her +sister. What might have been the state of her hands I will not pretend +to say; but I do not believe that her lover had found anything amiss +with them. "How do you do, doctor?" said Mrs Dale, striving to use her +accustomed voice, and to look as though there were nothing of special +importance in his visit. "I have just come down from the Great House." + +"Mamma," said Bell, jumping up, "you must not call him doctor any more." + +"Must I not? Has any one undoctored him?" + +"Oh, mamma, you understand," said Bell. + +"I understand," said Lily, going up to the doctor, and giving him her +cheek to kiss, "he is to be my brother, and I mean to claim him as such +from this moment. I expect him to do everything for us, and not to call +a moment of his time his own." + +"Mrs Dale," said the doctor, "Bell has consented that it shall be so, +if you will consent." + +"There is but little doubt of that," said Mrs Dale. + +"We shall not be rich--" began the doctor. + +"I hate to be rich," said Bell. "I hate even to talk about it. I don't +think it quite manly even to think about it; and I'm sure it isn't +womanly." + +"Bell was always a fanatic in praise of poverty," said Mrs Dale. + +"No; I'm no fanatic. I'm very fond of money earned. I would like to +earn some myself if I knew how." + +"Let her go out and visit the lady patients," said Lily. "They do in +America." + +Then they all went into the parlour and sat round the fire talking as +though they were already one family. The proceeding, considering the +nature of it--that a young lady, acknowledged to be of great beauty and +known to be of good birth, had on the occasion been asked and given in +marriage--was carried on after a somewhat humdrum fashion, and in a +manner that must be called commonplace. How different had it been when +Crosbie had made his offer! Lily for the time had been raised to a +pinnacle--a pinnacle which might be dangerous, but which was, at any +rate, lofty. With what a pretty speech had Crosbie been greeted! How it +had been felt by all concerned that the fortunes of the Small House +were in the ascendant--felt, indeed, with some trepidation, but still +with much inward triumph. How great had been the occasion, forcing Lily +almost to lose herself in wonderment at what had occurred! There was no +great occasion now, and no wonderment. No one, unless it was Crofts, +felt very triumphant. But they were all very happy, and were sure that +there was safety in their happiness. It was but the other day that one +of them had been thrown rudely to the ground through the treachery of a +lover, but yet none of them feared treachery from this lover. Bell was +as sure of her lot in life as though she were already being taken home +to her modest house in Guestwick. Mrs Dale already looked upon the man +as her son, and the party of four as they sat round the fire grouped +themselves as though they already formed one family. + +But Bell was not seated next to her lover. Lily, when she had once +accepted Crosbie, seemed to think that she could never be too near to +him. She had been in no wise ashamed of her love, and had shown it +constantly by some little caressing motion of her hand, leaning on his +arm, looking into his face, as though she were continually desirous of +some palpable assurance of his presence. It was not so at all with +Bell. She was happy in loving and in being loved, but she required no +overt testimonies of affection. I do not think it would have made her +unhappy if some sudden need had required that Crofts should go to India +and back before they were married. The thing was settled, and that was +enough for her. But, on the other hand, when he spoke of the expediency +of an immediate marriage, she raised no difficulty. As her mother was +about to go into a new residence, it might be as well that that +residence should be fitted to the wants of two persons instead of +three. So they talked about chairs and tables, carpets and kitchens, in +a most unromantic, homely, useful manner! A considerable portion of the +furniture in the house they were now about to leave belonged to the +squire--or to the house rather, as they were in the habit of saying. The +older and more solid things--articles of household stuff that stand the +wear of half a century--had been in the Small House when they came to +it. There was, therefore, a question of buying new furniture for a +house in Guestwick--a question not devoid of importance to the possessor +of so moderate an income as that owned by Mrs Dale. In the first month +or two they were to live in lodgings, and their goods were to be stored +in some friendly warehouse. Under such circumstances would it not be +well that Bell's marriage should be so arranged that the lodging +question might not be in any degree complicated by her necessities? +This was the last suggestion made by Dr Crofts, induced no doubt by the +great encouragement he had received. + +"That would be hardly possible," said Mrs Dale. "It only wants three +weeks--and with the house in such a condition!" + +"James is joking," said Bell. + +"I was not joking at all," said the doctor. + +"Why not send for Mr Boyce, and carry her off at once on a pillion +behind you?" said Lily. "It's just the sort of thing for primitive +people to do, like you and Bell. All the same, Bell, I do wish you +could have been married from this house." + +"I don't think it will make much difference," said Bell. + +"Only if you would have waited till summer we would have had such a +nice party on the lawn. It sounds so ugly, being married from lodgings; +doesn't it, mamma?" + +"It doesn't sound at all ugly to me," said Bell. + +"I shall always call you Dame Commonplace when you're married," said +Lily. + +Then they had tea, and after tea Dr Crofts got on his horse and rode +back to Guestwick. + +"Now may I talk about him?" said Lily, as soon as the door was closed +behind his back. + +"No; you may not." + +"As if I hadn't known it all along! And wasn't it hard to bear that you +should have scolded me with such pertinacious austerity, and that I +wasn't to say a word in answer!" + +"I don't remember the austerity," said Mrs Dale. + +"Nor yet Lily's silence," said Bell. + +"But it's all settled now," said Lily, "and I'm downright happy. I +never felt more satisfaction--never, Bell!" + +"Nor did I," said her mother; "I may truly say that I thank God for +this good thing." + + + +CHAPTER LI + +JOHN EAMES DOES THINGS WHICH HE OUGHT NOT TO HAVE DONE + +John Eames succeeded in making his bargain with Sir Raffle Buffle. He +accepted the private secretaryship on the plainly expressed condition +that he was to have leave of absence for a fortnight towards the end of +April. Having arranged this he took an affectionate leave of Mr Love, +who was really much affected at parting with him, discussed valedictory +pots of porter in the big room, over which many wishes were expressed +that he might be enabled to compass the length and breadth of old +Ruffle's feet, uttered a last cutting joke at Mr Kissing as he met that +gentleman hurrying through the passages with an enormous ledger in his +hands, and then took his place in the comfortable arm-chair which +FitzHoward had been forced to relinquish. + +"Don't tell any of the fellows," said Fitz, "but I'm going to cut the +concern altogether. My governor wouldn't let me stop here in any other +place than that of private secretary." + +"Ah, your governor is a swell," said Eames. + +"I don't know about that," said FitzHoward. "Of course he has a good +deal of family interest. My cousin is to come in for St. Bungay at the +next election, and then I can do better than remain here." + +"That's a matter of course;" said Eames. "If my cousin were Member for +St Bungay, I'd never stand anything east of Whitehall." + +"And I don't mean," said FitzHoward. "This room, you know, is all very +nice; but it is a bore coming into the City every day. And then one +doesn't like to be rung for like a servant. Not that I mean to put you +out of conceit with it." + +"It will do very well for me," said Eames. "I never was very +particular." + +And so they parted, Eames assuming the beautiful arm-chair and the +peril of being asked to carry Sir Raffle's shoes, while FitzHoward took +the vacant desk in the big room till such time as some member of his +family should come into Parliament for the borough of St. Bungay. + +But Eames, though he drank the porter, and quizzed FitzHoward, and +gibed at Kissing, did not seat himself in his new arm-chair without +some serious thoughts. He was aware that his career in London had not +hitherto been one on which he could look back with self-respect. He had +lived, with friends whom he did not esteem; he had been idle, and +sometimes worse than idle; and he had allowed himself to be hampered by +the pretended love of a woman for whom he had never felt any true +affection, and by whom he had been cozened out of various foolish +promises which even yet were hanging over his head. As he sat with Sir +Raffle's notes before him, he thought almost with horror of the men and +women in Burton Crescent. It was now about three years since he had +first known Cradell, and he shuddered as he remembered how very poor a +creature was he whom he had chosen for his bosom friend. He could not +make for himself those excuses which we can make for him. He could not +tell himself that he had been driven by circumstances to choose a +friend, before he had learned to know what were the requisites for +which he should look. He had lived on terms of closest intimacy with +this man for three years, and now his eyes were opening themselves to +the nature of his friend's character. Cradell was in age three years +his senior. "I won't drop him," he said to himself; "but he is a poor +creature." He thought, too, of the Lupexes, of Miss Spruce, and of Mrs +Roper, and tried to imagine what Lily Dale would do if she found +herself among such people. It would be impossible that she should ever +so find herself. He might as well ask her to drink at the bar of a gin +shop as to sit down in Mrs Roper's drawing-room. If destiny had in +store for him such good fortune as that of calling Lily his own, it was +necessary that he should altogether alter his mode of life. + +In truth his hobbledehoyhood was dropping off from him, as its old skin +drops from a snake. Much of the feeling and something of the knowledge +of manhood was coming on him, and he was beginning to recognise to +himself that the future manner of his life must be to him a matter of +very serious concern. No such thought had come near him when he first +established himself in London. It seems to me that in this respect the +fathers and mothers of the present generation understand but little of +the inward nature of the young men for whom they are so anxious. They +give them credit for so much that it is impossible they should have, +and then deny them credit for so much that they possess! They expect +from them when boys the discretion of men--that discretion which comes +from thinking; but will not give them credit for any of that power of +thought which alone can ultimately produce good conduct. Young men are +generally thoughtful--more thoughtful than their seniors; but the fruit +of their thought is not as yet there. And then so little is done for +the amusement of lads who are turned loose into London at nineteen or +twenty. Can it be that any mother really expects her son to sit alone +evening after evening in a dingy room drinking bad tea, and reading +good books? And yet it seems that mothers do so expect--the very mothers +who talk about the thoughtlessness of youth! O ye mothers who from year +to year see your sons launched forth upon the perils of the world, and +who are so careful with your good advice, with under flannel shirting, +with books of devotion and tooth-powder, does it never occur to you +that provision should be made for amusement, for dancing, for parties, +for the excitement and comfort of women's society? That excitement your +sons will have, and if it be not provided by you of one kind, will +certainly be provided by themselves of another kind. If I were a mother +sending lads out into the world, the matter most in my mind would be +this--to what houses full of nicest girls could I get them admission, so +that they might do their flirting in good company. + +Poor John Eames had been so placed that he had been driven to do his +flirting in very bad company, and he was now fully aware that it had +been so. It wanted but two days to his departure for Guestwick Manor, +and as he sat breathing a while after the manufacture of a large batch +of Sir Raffle's notes, he made up his mind that he would give Mrs Roper +notice before he started, that on his return to London he would be seen +no more in Burton Crescent. He would break his bonds altogether +asunder, and if there should be any penalty for such breaking he would +pay it in what best manner he might be able. He acknowledged to himself +that he had been behaving badly to Amelia, confessing, indeed, more sin +in that respect than he had in truth committed; but this, at any rate, +was clear to him, that he must put himself on a proper footing in that +quarter before he could venture to speak to Lily Dale. + +As he came to a definite conclusion on this subject the little handbell +which always stood on Sir Raffle's table was sounded, and Eames was +called into the presence of the great man. + +"Ah," said Sir Raffle, leaning back in his arm-chair, and stretching +himself after the great exertions which he had been making--" Ah, let me +see! You are going out of town the day after tomorrow." + +"Yes, Sir Raffle, the day after tomorrow." + +"Ah! it's a great annoyance--a very great annoyance. But on such +occasions I never think of myself. I never have done so, and don't +suppose I ever shall. So you're going down to my old friend De Guest?" + +Eames was always angered when his new patron Sir Raffle talked of his +old friendship with the earl, and never gave the Commissioner any +encouragement. "I am going down to Guestwick," said he. + +"Ah! yes; to Guestwick Manor? I don't remember that I was ever there. I +dare say I may have been, but one forgets those things." + +"I never heard Lord de Guest speak of it." + +"Oh, dear, no. Why should his memory be better than mine? Tell him, +will you, how very glad I shall be to renew our old intimacy. I should +think nothing of running down to him for a day or two in the dull time +of the year--say in September or October. It's rather a coincidence our +both being interested about you--isn't it? + +"I'll be sure to tell him." + +"Mind you do. He's one of our most thoroughly independent noblemen, and +I respect him very highly. Let me see; didn't I ring my bell? What was +it I wanted? I think I rang my bell." + +"You did ring your bell." + +"Ah, yes; I know. I am going away, and I wanted my would you tell +Rafferty to bring me--my boots?" Whereupon Johnny rang the bell--not the +little handbell, but the other bell. "And I shan't be here tomorrow," +continued Sir Raffle. "I'll thank you to send my letters up to the +square; and if they should send down from the Treasury--but the +Chancellor would write, and in that case you'll send up his letter at +once by a special messenger, of course." + +"Here's Rafferty," said Eames, determined that he would not even sully +his lips with speaking of Sir Raffle's boots. + +"Oh, ah, yes; Rafferty, bring me my boots." + +"Anything else to say?" asked Eames. + +"No, nothing else. Of course you'll be careful to leave everything +straight behind you." + +"Oh, yes; I'll leave it all straight." Then Eames withdrew, so that he +might not be present at the interview between Sir Raffle and his boots. +"He'll not do," said Sir Raffle to himself. "He'll never do. He's not +quick enough--has no go in him. He's not man enough for the place. I +wonder why the earl has taken him by the hand in that way." + +Soon after the little episode of the boots Eames left his office, and +walked home alone to Burton Crescent. He felt that he had gained a +victory in Sir Raffle's room, but the victory there had been easy. Now +he had another battle on his hands, in which, as he believed, the +achievement of victory would be much more difficult. Amelia Roper was a +person much more to be feared than the Chief Commissioner. He had one +strong arrow in his quiver on which he would depend, if there should +come to him the necessity of giving his enemy a death-wound. During the +last week she had been making powerful love to Cradell, so as to +justify the punishment of desertion from a former lover. He would not +throw Cradell in her teeth if he could help it; but it was incumbent on +him to gain a victory, and if the worst should come to the worst, he +must use such weapons as destiny and the chance of war had given him. + +He found Mrs Roper in the dining-room as he entered, and immediately +began his work. "Mrs Roper," he said, "I'm going out of town the day +after tomorrow." + +"Oh, yes, Mr Eames, we know that. You're going as a visitor to the +noble mansion of the Earl de Guest." + +"I don't know about the mansion being very noble, but I'm going down +into the country for a fortnight. When I come back--" + +"When you come back, Mr Eames, I hope you'll find your room a deal more +comfortable. "I know it isn't quite what it should be for a gentleman +like you, and I've been thinking for some time past--" + +"But, Mrs Roper, I don't mean to come back here any more. It's just +that that I want to say to you." + +"Not come back to the crescent!" + +"No, Mrs Roper. A fellow must move sometimes, you know; and I'm sure +I've been very constant to you for a long time." + +"But where are you going, Mr Eames?" + +"Well; I haven't just made up my mind as yet. That is, it will depend +on what I may do--on what friends of mine may say down in the country. +You'll not think I'm quarrelling with you, Mrs Roper." + +"It's them Lupexes as have done it," said Mrs Roper, in her deep +distress. + +"No, indeed, Mrs Roper, nobody has done it." + +"Yes, it is; and I'm not going to blame you, Mr Eames. They've made the +house unfit for any decent young gentleman like you. I've been feeling +that all along; but it's hard upon a lone woman like me, isn't it, Mr +Eames? + +"But, Mrs Roper, the Lupexes have had nothing to do with my going." + +"Oh, yes, they have; I understand it all. But what could I do, Mr +Eames? I've been giving them warning every week for the last six +months; but the more I give them warning, the more they won't go. +Unless I were to send for a policeman, and have a row in the house--" + +"But I haven't complained of the Lupexes, Mrs Roper." + +"You wouldn't be quitting without any reason, Mr Eames. You are not +going to be married in earnest, are you, Mr Eames?" + +"Not that I know of." + +"You may tell me; you may, indeed. I won't say a word--not to anybody. +It hasn't been my fault about Amelia. It hasn't really." + +"Who says there's been any fault?" + +"I can see, Mr Eames. Of course it didn't do for me to interfere. And +if you had liked her, I will say I believe she'd have made as good a +wife as any young man ever took; and she can make a few pounds go +farther than most girls. You can understand a mother's feelings; and if +there was to be anything, I couldn't spoil it; could I, now?" + +"But there isn't to be anything." + +"So I've told her for months past. I'm not going to say anything to +blame you; but young men ought to be very particular; indeed they +ought." Johnny did not choose to hint to the disconsolate mother that +it also behoved young women to be very particular, but he thought it. +"I've wished many a time, Mr Eames, that she had never come here; +indeed I have. But what's a mother to do? I couldn't put her outside +the door." Then Mrs Roper raised her apron up to her eyes, and began to +sob. + +"I'm very sorry if I've made any mischief," said Johnny. + +"It hasn't been your fault," continued the poor woman, from whom, as +her tears became uncontrollable, her true feelings forced themselves +and the real outpouring of her feminine nature. "Nor it hasn't been my +fault. But I knew what it would come to when I saw how she was going +on; and I told her so. I knew you wouldn't put up with the likes of +her." + +"Indeed, Mrs Roper, I've always had a great regard for her, and for you +too." + +"But you weren't going to marry her. I've told her so all along, and +I've begged her not to do it--almost on my knees I have; but she +wouldn't be said by me. She never would. She's always been that wilful +that I'd sooner have her away from me than with me. Though she's a good +young woman in the house--she is, indeed, Mr Eames--and there isn't a +pair of hands in it that works so hard; but it was no use my talking." + +"I don't think any harm has been done." + +"Yes, there has; great harm. It has made the place not respectable. +It's the Lupexes is the worst. There's Miss Spruce, who has been with +me for nine years--ever since I've had the house--she's been telling me +this morning that she means to go into the country. It's all the same +thing. I under stand it. I can see it. The house isn't respectable, as +it should be; and your mamma, if she were to know all, would have a +right to be angry with me. I did mean to be respectable, Mr Eames; I +did indeed." + +"Miss Spruce will think better of it." + +"You don't know what I've had to go through. There's none of them pays, +not regular--only she and you. She's been like the Bank of England, has +Miss Spruce." + +"I'm afraid I've not been very regular, Mrs Roper." + +"Oh, yes, you have. I don't think of a pound or two more or less at the +end of a quarter, if I'm sure to have it some day, The butcher--he +understands one's lodgers just as well as I do--if the money's really +coming, he'll wait; but he won't wait for such as them Lupexes, whose +money's nowhere. And there's Cradell; would you believe it, that fellow +owes me eight-and-twenty pounds!" + +"Eight and twenty pounds!" + +"Yes, Mr Eames, eight-and-twenty pounds! He's a fool. It's them Lupexes +as have had his money. I know it. He don't talk of paying, and going +away. I shall be just left with him and the Lupexes on my hands; and +then the bailiffs may come and sell every stick about the place. I +won't say nay to them." Then she threw herself into the old horsehair +armchair, and gave way to her womanly sorrow. + +"I think I'll go upstairs, and get ready for dinner," said Eames. + +"And you must go away when you come back?" said Mrs Roper. + +"Well, yes, I'm afraid I must. I meant you to have a month's warning +from today. Of course I shall pay for the month." + +"I don't want to take any advantage; indeed, I don't. But I do hope +you'll leave your things. You can have them whenever you like. If +Chumpend knows that you and Miss Spruce are both going, of course he'll +be down upon me for his money." Chumpend was the butcher. But Eames +made no answer to this piteous plea. Whether or no he could allow his +old boots to remain in Burton Crescent for the next week or two, must +depend on the manner in which he might be received by Amelia Roper this +evening. + +When he came down to the drawing-room, there was no one there but Miss +Spruce. "A fine day, Miss Spruce," said he. + +"Yes, Mr Eames, it is a fine day for London; but don't you think the +country air is very nice?" + +"Give me the town," said Johnny, wishing to say a good word for poor +Mrs Roper, if it were possible. + +"You're a young man, Mr Eames; but I'm an old woman. That makes a +difference," said Miss Spruce. + +"Not much," said Johnny, meaning to be civil. "You don't like to be +dull any more than I do." + +"I like to be respectable, Mr Eames. I always have been respectable, Mr +Eames." This the old woman said almost in a whisper, looking anxiously +to see that the door had not been opened to other listening cars. + +"I'm sure Mrs Roper is very respectable." + +"Yes; Mrs Roper is respectable, Mr Eames; but there are some here +that--Hush-sh-sh!" And the old lady put her finger up to her lips. The +door opened and Mrs Lupex swam into the room. + +"How d'ye do, Miss Spruce? I declare you're always first. It's to get a +chance of having one of the young gentlemen to yourself, I believe. +What's the news in the city today, Mr Eames? In your position now of +course you hear all the news." + +"Sir Raffle Buffle has got a new pair of shoes. I don't know that for +certain, but I guess it from the time it took him to put them on." + +"Ah! now you're quizzing. That's always the way with you gentlemen when +you get a little up in the world. You don't think women are worth +talking to then, unless just for a joke or so." + +"I'd a great deal sooner talk to you, Mrs Lupex, than I would to Sir +Raffle Buffle." + +"It's all very well for you to say that. But we women know what such +compliments as those mean--don't we, Miss Spruce? A woman that's been +married five years as I have--or I may say six--doesn't expect much +attention from young men. And though I was young when I married--young +in years, that is--I'd seen too much and gone through too much to be +young in heart." This she said almost in a whisper; but Miss Spruce +heard it, and was confirmed in her belief that Burton Crescent was no +longer respectable. + +"I don't know what you were then, Mrs Lupex," said Eames; "but you're +young enough now for anything." + +"Mr Eames, I'd sell all that remains of my youth at a cheap rate--at a +very cheap rate, if I could only be sure of--" + +"Sure of what, Mrs Lupex?" + +"The undivided affection of the one person that I loved. That is all +that is necessary to a woman's happiness." + +"And isn't Lupex--" + +"Lupex! But hush, never mind. I should not have allowed myself to be +betrayed into an expression of feeling. Here's your friend Mr Cradell. +Do you know I sometimes wonder what you find in that man to be so fond +of him." Miss Spruce saw it all, and heard it all, and positively +resolved upon moving herself to those two small rooms at Dulwich. + +Hardly a word was exchanged between Amelia and Eames before dinner. +Amelia still devoted herself to Cradell, and Johnny saw that that +arrow, if it should be needed, would be a strong weapon. Mrs Roper they +found seated at her place at the dining-table, and Eames could perceive +the traces of her tears. Poor woman! Few positions in life could be +harder to bear than hers! To be ever tugging at others for money that +they could not pay; to be ever tugged at for money which she could not +pay; to desire respectability for its own sake, but to be driven to +confess that it was a luxury beyond her means; to put up with +disreputable belongings for the sake of lucre, and then not to get the +lucre, but be driven to feel that she was ruined by the attempt! How +many Mrs Ropers there are who from year to year sink down and fall +away, and no one knows whither they betake themselves! One fancies that +one sees them from time to time at the corners of the streets in +battered bonnets and thin gowns, with the tattered remnants of old +shawls upon their shoulders, still looking as though they had within +them a faint remembrance of long-distant respectability. With anxious +eyes they peer about, as though searching in the streets for other +lodgers. Where do they get their daily morsels of bread, and their poor +cups of thin tea--their cups of thin tea, with perhaps a pennyworth of +gin added to it, if Providence be good! Of this state of things Mrs +Roper had a lively appreciation, and now, poor woman, she feared that +she was reaching it, by the aid of the Lupexes. On the present occasion +she carved her joint of meat in silence, and sent out her slices to the +good guests that would leave her, and to the bad guests that would +remain, with apathetic impartiality. What was the use now of doing +favour to one lodger or disfavour to another? Let them take their +mutton--they who would pay for, it and they who would not. She would not +have the carving of many more joints in that house if Chumpend acted up +to all the threats which he had uttered to her that morning. + +The reader may, perhaps, remember the little back room behind the +dining parlour. A description was given in some former pages of an +interview which was held between Amelia and her lover. It was in that +room that all the interviews of Mrs Roper's establishment had their +existence. A special room for interviews is necessary in all households +of a mixed nature. If a man lives alone with his wife, he can have his +interviews where he pleases. Sons and daughters, even when they are +grown up, hardly create the necessity of an interview-chamber, though +some such need may he felt if the daughters are marriageable and +independent in their natures. But when the family becomes more +complicated than this, if an extra young man be introduced, or an aunt +comes into residence, or grown up children by a former wife interfere +with the domestic simplicity, then such accommodation becomes quite +indispensable. No woman would think of taking in lodgers without such a +room; and this room there was at Mrs Roper's, very small and dingy, but +still sufficient--just behind the dining parlour and opposite to the +kitchen stairs. Hither, after dinner, Amelia was summoned. She had just +seated herself between Mrs Lupex and Miss Spruce, ready to do battle +with the former because she would stay, and with the latter because she +would go, when she was called out by the servant girl. + +"Miss Mealyer, Miss Mealyer-sh-sh-sh! "And Amelia, looking round, saw a +large red hand beckoning to her. "He's down there," said Jemima, as +soon as her young mistress had joined her, "and wants to see you most +partic'lar." + +"Which of 'em? "asked Amelia, in a whisper. + +"Why, Mr Heames, to be sure. Don't you go and have anythink to say to +the other one, Miss Mealyer, pray don't; he ain't no good; he ain't +indeed." + +Amelia stood still for a moment on the landing, calculating whether it +would be well for her to have the interview, or well to decline it. Her +objects were two--or, rather, her object was in its nature twofold. She +was, naturally, anxious to drive John Eames to desperation; and anxious +also, by some slight added artifice, to make sure of Cradell if Eames's +desperation did not have a very speedy effect. She agreed with Jemima's +criticism in the main, but she did not go quite so far as to think that +Cradell was no good at all. Let it be Eames, if Eames were possible; +but let the other string be kept for use if Eames were not possible. +Poor girl! in coming to this resolve she had not done so without agony. +She had a heart, and with such power as it gave her, she loved John +Eames. But the world had been hard to her; knocking her about hither +and thither unmercifully; threatening, as it now threatened, to take +from her what few good things she enjoyed. When a girl is so +circumstanced she cannot afford to attend to her heart. She almost +resolved not to see Eames on the present occasion, thinking that he +might be made the more desperate by such refusal, and remembering also +that Cradell was in the house and would know of it. + +"He's there a-waiting, Miss Mealyer. Why don't yer come down?" and +Jemima plucked her young mistress by the arm. + +"I am coming," said Amelia. And with dignified steps she descended to +the interview. + +"Here she is, Mr Heames," said the girl. And then Johnny found himself +alone with his lady-love. + +"You have sent for me, Mr Eames," she said, giving her head a little +toss, and turning her face away from him. "I was engaged upstairs, but +I thought it uncivil not to come down to you as you sent for me so +special." + +"Yes, Miss Roper, I did want to see you very particularly." + +"Oh, dear!" she exclaimed, and he understood fully that the exclamation +referred to his having omitted the customary use of her Christian name. + +"I saw your mother before dinner, and I told her that I am going away +the day after tomorrow." + +"We all know about that--to the earl's, of course!" And then there was +another chuck of her head. + +"And I told her also that I had made up my mind not to come back to +Burton Crescent." + +"What! leave the house altogether!" + +"Well; yes. A fellow must make a change sometimes, you know." + +"And where are you going, John?" + +"That I don't know as yet." + +"Tell me the truth, John; are you going to be married? Are you--going--to +marry--that young woman--Mr Crosbie's leavings? I demand to have an +answer at once. Are you going to marry her?" + +He had determined very resolutely that nothing she might say should +make him angry, but when she thus questioned him about "Crosbie's +leavings" he found it very difficult to keep his temper. "I have not +come," said he, "to speak to you about any one but ourselves." + +"That put-off won't do with me, sir. You are not to treat any girl you +may please in that sort of way--oh, John!" Then she looked at him as +though she did not know whether to fly at him and cover him with +kisses, or to fly at him and tear his hair. + +"I know I haven't behaved quite as I should have done," he began. + +"Oh, John!" and she shook her head. "You mean, then, to tell me that +you are going to marry her?" + +"I mean to say nothing of the kind--I only mean to say that I am going +away from Burton Crescent." + +"John Eames, I wonder what you think will come to you! Will you answer +me this; have I had a promise from you--a distinct promise, over and +over again, or have I not?" + +"I don't know about a distinct promise--" + +"Well, well! I did think that you was a gentleman that would not go +back from your word. I did think that. I did think that you would never +put a young lady to the necessity of bringing forward her own letters +to prove that she is not expecting more than she has a right! You don't +know! And that, after all that has been between us! John Eames!" And +again it seemed to him as though she were about to fly. + +"I tell you that I know I haven't behaved well. What more can I say?" + +"What more can you say? Oh, John! to ask me such a question! If you +were a man you would know very well what more to say. But all you +private secretaries are given to deceit, as the sparks fly upwards. +However, I despise you--I do, indeed. I despise you." + +"If you despise me, we might as well shake hands and part at once. I +dare say that will be best. One doesn't like to be despised, of course; +but sometimes one can't help it." And then he put out his hand to her. + +"And is this to be the end of all?" she said, taking it. + +"Well, yes; I suppose so. You say I'm despised." + +"You shouldn't take up a poor girl in that way for a sharp word--not +when she is suffering as I am made to suffer. If you only think of +it--think what I have been expecting!" And now Amelia began to cry, and +to look as though she were going to fall into his arms. + +"It is better to tell the truth," he said; "isn't it?" + +"But it shouldn't be the truth." + +"But it is the truth. I couldn't do it. I should ruin myself and you +too, and we should never be happy." + +"I should be happy--very happy indeed." At this moment the poor girl's +tears were unaffected, and her words were not artful. For a minute or +two her heart--her actual heart was allowed to prevail. + +"It cannot be, Amelia. Will you not say good-bye?" + +"Good-bye," she said, leaning against him as she spoke. + +"I do so hope you will be happy," he said. And then, putting his arm +round her waist, he kissed her; which he certainly ought not to have +done. + +When the interview was over, he escaped out into the crescent, and as +he walked down through the squares--Woburn Square, and Russell Square, +and Bedford Square--towards the heart of London, he felt himself elated +almost to a state of triumph. He had got himself well out of his +difficulties, and now he would be ready for his love-tale to Lily. + + + +CHAPTER LII + +THE FIRST VISIT TO THE GUESTWICK BRIDGE + +When John Eames arrived at Guestwick Manor, he was first welcomed by +Lady Julia. "My dear Mr Eames," she said, "I cannot tell you how glad +we are to see you." After that she always called him John, and treated +him throughout his visit with wonderful kindness. No doubt that affair +of the bull had in some measure produced this feeling; no doubt, also, +she was well disposed to the man who she hoped might be accepted as a +lover by Lily Dale. But I am inclined to think that the fact of his +having beaten Crosbie had been the most potential cause of this +affection for our hero on the part of Lady Julia. Ladies--especially +discreet old ladies, such as Lady Julia de Guest--are bound to entertain +pacific theories, and to condemn all manner of violence. Lady Julia +would have blamed any one who might have advised Eames to commit an +assault upon Crosbie. But, nevertheless, deeds of prowess are still +dear to the female heart, and a woman, be she ever so old and discreet, +understands and appreciates the summary justice which may be done by +means of a thrashing. Lady Julia, had she been called upon to talk of +it, would undoubtedly have told Eames that he had committed a fault in +striking Mr Crosbie; but the deed had been done, and Lady Julia became +very fond of John Eames. + +"Vickers shall show you your room, if you like to go upstairs; but +you'll find my brother close about the house if you choose to go out; I +saw him not half an hour since." But John seemed to be well satisfied +to sit in his arm-chair over the fire, and talk to his hostess; so +neither of them moved. + +"And now that you're a private secretary, how do you like it?" + +"I like the work well enough; only I don't like the man, Lady Julia. +But I shouldn't say so, because he is such an intimate friend of your +brother's." + +"An intimate friend of Theodore's!--Sir Raffle Buffle!" + +Lady Julia stiffened her back and put on a serious face, not being +exactly pleased at being told that the Earl de Guest had any such +intimate friend. + +"At any rate he tells me so about four times a day, Lady Julia. And he +particularly wants to come down here next September." + +"Did he tell you that, too?" + +"Indeed he did. You can't believe what a goose he is! Then his voice +sounds like a cracked bell; it's the most disagreeable voice you ever +heard in your life. And one has always to be on one's guard lest he +should make one do something that is--is--that isn't quite the thing for +a gentleman. You understand--what the messenger ought to do." + +"You shouldn't be too much afraid of your own dignity." + +"No, I'm not. If Lord de Guest were to ask me to fetch him his shoes, +I'd run to Guestwick and back for them and think nothing of it--just +because he's my friend. He'd have a right to send me. But I'm not going +to do such things as that for Sir Raffle Buffle." + +"Fetch him his shoes!" + +"That's what FitzHoward had to do, and he didn't like it." + +"Isn't Mr FitzHoward nephew to the Duchess of St Bungay?" + +"Nephew, or cousin, or something." + +"Dear me!" said Lady Julia, "what a horrible man!" And in this way John +Eames and her ladyship became very intimate. + +There was no one at dinner at the Manor that day but the earl and his +sister and their single guest. The earl when he came in was very warm +in his welcome, slapping his young friend on the back, and poking jokes +at him with a goodhumoured if not brilliant pleasantry. + +"Thrashed anybody lately, John?" + +"Nobody to speak of," said Johnny. + +"Brought your nightcap down for your out-o'-doors nap?" + +"No, but I've got a grand stick for the bull," said Johnny. + +"Ah! that's no joke now, I can tell you," said the earl. "We had to +sell him, and it half broke my heart. We don't know what had come to +him, but he became quite unruly after that--knocked Darvel down in the +straw-yard! It was a very bad business--a very bad business, indeed! +Come, go and dress. Do you remember how you came down to dinner that +day? I shall never forget how Crofts stared at you. Come, you've only +got twenty minutes, and you London fellows always want an hour." + +"He's entitled to some consideration now he's a private secretary," +said Lady Julia. + +"Bless us all! yes; I forgot that. Come, Mr Private Secretary, don't +stand on the grandeur of your neck--tie today, as there's nobody here +but ourselves. You shall have an opportunity tomorrow." + +Then Johnny was handed over to the groom of the chambers, and exactly +in twenty minutes he re-appeared in the drawing-room. + +As soon as Lady Julia had left them after dinner, the earl began to +explain his plan for the coming campaign. "I'll tell you now what I +have arranged," said he. "The squire is to be here tomorrow with his +eldest niece--your Miss Lily's sister, you know." + +"What, Bell?" + +"Yes, with Bell, if her name is Bell. She's a very pretty girl, too. I +don't know whether she's not the prettiest of the two, after all." + +"That's a matter of opinion." + +"Just so, Johnny; and do you stick to your own. They're coming here for +three or four days. Lady Julia did ask Mrs Dale and Lily. I wonder +whether you'll let me call her Lily?" + +"Oh, dear! I wish I might have the power of letting you." + +"That's just the battle that you've got to fight. But the mother and +the younger sister wouldn't come. Lady Julia says it's all right--that, +as a matter of course, she wouldn't come when she heard you were to be +here. I don't quite understand it. In my days the young girls were +ready enough to go where they knew they'd meet their lovers, and I +never thought any the worse of them for it." + +"It wasn't because of that," said Eames. + +"That's what Lady Julia says, and I always find her to be right in +things of that sort. And she says you'll have a better chance in going +over there than you would here, if she were in the same house with you. +If I was going to make love to a girl, of course I'd sooner have her +close to me--staying in the same house. I should think it the best fun +in the world. And we might have had a dance, and all that kind of +thing. But I couldn't make her come, you know." + +"Oh, no; of course not." + +"And Lady Julia thinks that it's best as it is. You must go over, you +know, and get the mother on your side, if you can. I take it, the truth +is this--you mustn't be angry with me, you know, for saying it." + +"You may be sure of that." + +"I suppose she was fond of that fellow, Crosbie. She can't be very fond +of him now, I should think, after the way he has treated her; but +she'll find a difficulty in making her confession that she really likes +you better than she ever liked him. Of course that's what you'll want +her to say." + +"I want her to say that she'll be my wife--some day." + +"And when she has agreed to the some day, then you'll begin to press +her to agree to your day--eh, sir? My belief is you'll bring her round. +Poor girl! why should she break her heart when a decent fellow like you +will only be too glad to make her a happy woman?" And in this way the +earl talked to Eames till the latter almost believed that the +difficulties were vanishing from out of his path. "Could it be +possible," he asked himself, as he went to bed, "that in a fortnight's +time Lily Dale should have accepted him as her future husband?" Then he +remembered that day on which Crosbie, with the two girls, had called at +his mother's house, when in the bitterness of his heart, he had sworn +to himself that he would always regard Crosbie as his enemy. Since then +the world had gone well with him; and he had no longer any bitter +feeling against Crosbie. That matter had been arranged on the platform +of the Paddington Station. He felt that if Lily would now accept him he +could almost shake hands with Crosbie. The episode in his life and in +Lily's would have been painful; but he would learn to look back upon +that without regret, if Lily could be taught to believe that a kind +fate had at last given her to the better of her two lovers. "I'm afraid +she won't bring herself to forget him," he had said to the earl. +"She'll only be too happy to forget him," the earl had answered, "if +you can induce her to begin the attempt. Of course it is very bitter at +first--all the world knew about it; but, poor girl, she is not to be +wretched for ever, because of that. Do you go about your work with some +little confidence, and I doubt not but what you'll have your way. You +have everybody in your favour--the squire, her mother, and all." While +such words as these were in his ears how could he fail to hope and to +be confident? While he was sitting cosily over his bedroom fire he +resolved that it should be as the earl had said. But when he got up on +the following morning, and stood shivering as he came out of his bath, +he could not feel the same confidence. "Of course I shall go to her," +he said to himself, "and make a plain story of it. But I know what her +answer will be. She will tell me that she cannot forget him." Then his +feelings towards Crosbie were not so friendly as they had been on the +previous evening. + +He did not visit the Small House on that, his first day. It had been +thought better that he should first meet the squire and Bell at +Guestwick Manor, so he postponed his visit to Mrs Dale till the next +morning. + +"Go when you like," said the earl. "There's the brown cob for you to do +what you like with him while you are here." + +"I'll go and see my mother," said John; "but I won't take the cob +today. If you'll let me have him tomorrow, I'll ride to Allington." So +he walked off to Guestwick by himself. + +He knew well every yard of the ground over which he went, remembering +every gate and stile and greensward from the time of his early boyhood. +And now as he went along through his old haunts, he could not but look +back and think of the thoughts which had filled his mind in his earlier +wanderings. As I have said before, in some of these pages, no walks +taken by the man are so crowded with thought as those taken by the boy. +He had been early taught to understand that the world to him would be +very hard; that he had nothing to look to but his own exertions, and +that those exertions would not, unfortunately, be backed by any great +cleverness of his own. I do not know that anybody had told him that he +was a fool; but he had come to understand, partly through his own +modesty, and partly, no doubt, through the somewhat obtrusive +diffidence of his mother, that he was less sharp than other lads. It is +probably true that he had come to his sharpness later in life than is +the case with many young men. He had not grown on the sunny side of the +wall. Before that situation in the Income-tax Office had fallen in his +way, very humble modes of life had offered themselves--or, rather, had +not offered themselves for his acceptance. He had endeavoured to become +an usher at a commercial seminary, not supposed to be in a very +thriving condition; but he had been, luckily, found deficient in his +arithmetic. There had been some chance of his going into the +leather--warehouse of Messrs Basil and Pigskin, but those gentlemen had +required a premium, and any payment of that kind had been quite out of +his mother's power. A country attorney, who had known the family for +years, had been humbly solicited, the widow almost kneeling before him +with tears, to take Johnny by the hand and make a clerk of him; but the +attorney had discovered that Master Johnny Eames was not supposed to be +sharp, and would have none of him. During those days, those gawky, +gainless, unadmired days, in which he had wandered about the lanes of +Guestwick as his only amusement, and had composed hundreds of rhymes in +honour of Lily Dale which no human eye but his own had ever seen, he +had come to regard himself as almost a burden upon the earth. Nobody +seemed to want him. His own mother was very anxious; but her anxiety +seemed to him to indicate a continual desire to get rid of him. For +hours upon hours he would fill his mind with castles in the air, +dreaming of wonderful successes in the midst of which Lily Dale always +reigned as a queen. He would carry on the same story in his imagination +from month to month, almost contenting himself with such ideal +happiness. Had it not been for the possession of that power, what +comfort could there have been to him in his life? There are lads of +seventeen who can find happiness in study, who can busy themselves in +books and be at their ease among the creations of other minds. These +are they who afterwards become well-informed men. It was not so with +John Eames. He had never been studious. The perusal of a novel was to +him in those days a slow affair; and of poetry he read but little, +storing up accurately in his memory all that he did read. But he +created for himself his own romance, though to the eye a most +unromantic youth; and he wandered through the Guestwick woods with many +thoughts of which they who knew him best knew nothing. All this he +thought of now as, with devious steps, he made his way towards his old +home--with very devious steps, for he went backwards through the woods +by a narrow path which led right away from the town down to a little +water-course, over which stood a wooden foot-bridge with a rail. He +stood on the centre of the plank, at a spot which he knew well, and +rubbing his hand upon the rail, cleaned it for the space of a few +inches of the vegetable growth produced by the spray of the water. +There, rudely carved in the wood, was still the word LILY. When he cut +those letters she had been almost a child. "I wonder whether she will +come here with me and let me show it to her," he said to himself. Then +he took out his knife and cleared the cuttings of the letters, and +having done so, leaned upon the rail, and looked down upon the running +water. How well things in the world had gone for him! How well! And yet +what would it all be if Lily would not come to him? How well the world +had gone for him! In those days when he stood there carving the girl's +name everybody had seemed to regard him as a heavy burden, and he had +so regarded himself. Now he was envied by many, respected by many, +taken by the hand as a friend by those high in the world's esteem. +When he had come near the Guestwick Mansion in his old walks--always, +however, keeping at a great distance lest the grumpy old lord should. +be down upon him and scold him--he had little dreamed that he and the +grumpy old lord would ever be together on such familiar terms, that he +would tell to that lord more of his private thoughts than to any other +living being; yet it had come to that. The grumpy old lord had now told +him that that gift of money was to be his whether Lily Dale accepted +him or no. "Indeed, the thing's done," said the grumpy lord, pulling +out from his pocket certain papers, "and you've got to receive the +dividends as they become due." Then, when Johnny had expostulated--as, +indeed, the circumstances had left him no alternative but to +expostulate--the earl had roughly bade him hold his tongue, telling him +that he would have to fetch Sir Raffle's boots directly he got back to +London. So the conversation had quickly turned itself away to Sir +Raffle, whom they had both ridiculed with much satisfaction. "If he +finds his way down here in September, Master Johnny, or in any other +month either, you may fit my head with a foolscap. Not remember, +indeed! Is it not wonderful that any man should make himself so mean a +fool?" All this was thought over again, as Eames leaned upon the bridge. +He remembered every word, and remembered many other words--earlier +words, spoken years ago, filling him with desolation as to the +prospects of his life. It had seemed that his friends had united in +prophesying that the outlook into the world for him was hopeless, and +that the earning of bread must be for ever beyond his power. And now +his lines had fallen to him in very pleasant places, and he was among +those whom the world had determined to caress. And yet, what would it +all be if Lily would not share his happiness? When he had carved that +name on the rail, his love for Lily had been an idea. It had now become +a reality which might probably be full of pain. If it were so--if such +should be the result, of his wooing--would not those old dreamy days +have been better than these--the days of his success? + +It was one o'clock by the time that he reached his mother's house, and +he found her and his sister in a troubled and embarrassed state. "Of +course you know, John," said his mother, as soon as their first +embraces were over," that we are going to dine at the Manor this +evening?" But he did not know it, neither the earl nor Lady Julia +having said anything on the subject. "Of course we are going," said Mrs +Eames, "and it was so very kind. But I've never been out to such a +house for so many years, John, and I do feel in such a twitter. I dined +there once, soon after we were married; but I never have been there +since that." + +"It's not the earl I mind, but Lady Julia," said Mary Eames. + +"She's the most good-natured woman in the world," said Johnny. + +"Oh, dear; people say she is so cross!" + +"That's because people don't know her. If I was asked who is the +kindest-hearted woman I know in the world, I think I should say Lady +Julia de Guest. I think I should." + +"Ah! but then they're so fond of you," said the admiring mother. "You +saved his lordship's life--under Providence." + +"That's all bosh, mother. You ask Dr Crofts. He knows them as well as I +do." + +"Dr Crofts is going to marry Bell Dale," said Mary; and then the +conversation was turned from the subject of Lady Julia's perfections, +and the awe inspired by the earl. + +"Crofts going to marry Bell!" exclaimed Eames, thinking almost with +dismay of the doctor's luck in thus getting himself accepted all at +once, while he had been suing with the constancy almost of a Jacob. + +"Yes," said Mary; "and they say that she has refused her cousin +Bernard, and that, therefore, the squire is taking away the house from +them. You know they're all coming into Guestwick." + +"Yes, I know they are. But I don't believe that the squire is taking +away the house." + +"Why should they come then? Why should they give up such a charming +place as that?" + +"Rent-free!" said Mrs Eames. + +"I don't know why they should come away; but I can't believe the squire +is turning them out; at any rate not for that reason." The squire was +prepared to advocate John's suit, and therefore John was bound to do +battle on the squire's behalf. + +"He is a very stern man," said Mrs Eames, and they say that since that +affair of poor Lily's he has been more cross than ever with them. As +far as I know, it was not Lily's fault." + +"Poor Lily!" said Mary. "I do pity her. If I was her. I should hardly +know how to show my face; I shouldn't, indeed." + +"And why shouldn't she show her face?" said John, in an angry tone. +"What has she done to be ashamed of? Show her face indeed! I cannot +understand the spite which one woman will sometimes have to another." + +"There is no spite, John; and it's very wrong of you to say so," said +Mary, defending herself. + +"But it is a very unpleasant thing for a girl to be jilted. All the +world knows that she was engaged to him." + +"And all the world knows--" But he would not proceed to declare that all +the world knew that also Crosbie had been well thrashed for his +baseness. It would not become him to mention that even before his +mother and sister. All the world did know it; all the world that cared +to know anything of the matter--except Lily Dale herself. Nobody had +ever yet told Lily Dale of that occurrence at the Paddington Railway +Station, and it was well for John that her friends and his had been so +discreet. + +"Oh, of course you are her champion," said Mary. "And I didn't mean to +say anything unkind. Indeed I didn't. Of course it was a misfortune." + +"I think it was the best piece of good fortune that could have happened +to her, not to marry a d----- scoundrel like--" + +"Oh, John!" exclaimed Mrs Eames. + +"I beg your pardon, mother. But it isn't swearing to call such a man as +that a d----- scoundrel." + +And he particularly emphasised the naughty word, thinking that thereby +he would add to its import, and take away from its naughtiness. "But we +won't talk any more about him. I hate the man's very name. I hated him +the first moment that I saw him, and knew that he was a blackguard from +his look. And I don't believe a word about the squire having been cross +to them. Indeed I know he has been the reverse of cross. So Bell is +going to marry Dr Crofts!" + +"There is no doubt on earth about that," said Mary. "And they say that +Bernard Dale is going abroad with his regiment." + +Then John discussed with his mother his duties as private secretary, +and his intention of leaving Mrs Roper's house. "I suppose it isn't +nice enough for you now, John," said his mother. + +"It never was very nice, mother, to tell you the truth. There were +people there-- But you mustn't think I am turning up my nose because I'm +getting grand. I don't want to live any better than we all lived at Mrs +Roper's; but she took in persons that were not agreeable. There is a Mr +and Mrs Lupex there." Then he described something of their life in +Burton Crescent, but did not say much about Amelia Roper. Amelia Roper +had not made her appearance in Guestwick, as he had once feared that +she would do; and therefore it did not need that he should at present +make known to his mother that episode in his life. + +When he got back to the Manor House he found that Mr Dale and his niece +had arrived. They were both sitting with Lady Julia when he went into +the morning room, and Lord de Guest was standing over the fire talking +to them. Eames as he came among them felt terribly conscious of his +position, as though all there were aware that he had been brought down, +from London on purpose to make a declaration of love--as, indeed, all of +them were aware of that fact. Bell, though no one had told her so in +direct words, was as sure of it as the others. + +"Here comes the prince of matadores," said the earl. + +"No, my lord; you're the prince. I'm only your first follower." Though +he could contrive that his words should be gay, his looks were +sheepish, and when he gave his hand to the squire it was only by a +struggle that he could bring himself to look straight into the old +man's face. + +"I'm very glad to see you, John," said the squire, "very glad indeed." + +"And so am I," said Bell. "I have been so happy to hear that you have +been promoted at your office, and so is mamma." + +"I hope Mrs Dale is quite well," said he--"and Lily." The word had been +pronounced, but it had been done with so manifest an effort that all in +the room were conscious of it, and paused as Bell prepared her little +answer. + +"My sister has been very ill, you know--with scarlatina. But she has +recovered with wonderful quickness, and is nearly well again now. She +will be so glad to see you if you will go over." + +"Yes; I shall certainly go over," said John. + +"And now shall I show you your room, Miss Dale?" said Lady Julia. And +so the party was broken up, and the ice had been broken. + + + +CHAPTER LIII + +LOQUITUR HOPKINS + +The squire had been told that his niece Bell had accepted Dr Crofts, +and he had signified a sort of acquiescence in the arrangement, saying +that if it were to be so, he had nothing to say against Dr Crofts. He +spoke this in a melancholy tone of voice, wearing on his face that look +of subdued sorrow which was now habitual to him. It was to Mrs Dale +that he spoke on the subject. "I could have wished that it might have +been otherwise," he said, "as you are well aware. I had family reasons +for wishing that it might be otherwise. But I have nothing to say +against it. Dr Crofts, as her husband, shall be welcome to my house." +Mrs Dale, who had expected much worse than this, began to thank him for +his kindness, and to say that she also would have preferred to see her +daughter married to her cousin. "But in such a matter the decision +should be left entirely to the girl. Don't you think so? + +"I have not a word to say against her," he repeated. Then Mrs Dale left +him, and told her daughter that her uncle's manner of receiving the +news had been, for him, very gracious. + +"You were his favourite, but Lily will be so now," said Mrs Dale. + +"I don't care a bit about that--or, rather, I do care, and think it will +be in every way better. But as I, who am the naughty one, will go away, +and as Lily, who is the good one, will remain with you, doesn't it +almost seem a pity that you should be leaving the house?" + +Mrs Dale thought it was almost a pity, but she could not say so now. +"You think Lily will remain," she said. + +"Yes, mamma; I feel sure she will." + +"She was always very fond of John Eames--and he is doing so well." + +"It will be of no use, mamma. She is fond of him--very fond. In a sort +of a way she loves him--so well, that I feel sure she never mentions his +name without some inward reference to her old childish thoughts and +fancies. If he had come before Mr Crosbie it would have all been well +with her. But she cannot do it now. Her pride would prevent her, even +if her heart permitted it. Oh! dear; it's very wrong of me to say so, +after all that I have said before; but I almost wish you were not +going. Uncle Christopher seems to be less hard than he used to be; and +as I was the sinner, and as I am disposed of--" + +"It is too late now, my dear." + +"And we should neither of us have the courage to mention it to Lily," +said Bell. + +On the following morning the squire sent for his sister-in-law, as it +was his wont to do when necessity came for any discussion on matters of +business. This was perfectly understood between them, and such sending +was not taken as indicating any lack of courtesy on the part of Mr +Dale. "Mary," he said, as soon as Mrs Dale was seated, "I shall do for +Bell exactly what I have proposed to do for Lily. I had intended more +than that once, of course. But then it would all have gone into +Bernard's pocket; as it is, it shall make no difference between them. +They shall each have a hundred a year--that is, when they marry. You had +better tell Crofts to speak to me." + +"Mr Dale, he doesn't expect it. He does not expect a penny." + +"So much the better for him; and, indeed, so much the better for her. +He won't make her the less welcome to his home because she brings some +assistance to it." + +"We have never thought of it--any of us. The offer has come so suddenly +that I don't know what I ought to say." + +"Say--nothing. If you choose to make me a return for it--but I am only +doing what I conceive to be my duty, and have no right to ask for a +kindness in return." + +"But what kindness can we show you, Mr Dale?" + +"Remain in that house." In saying these last words he spoke as though +he were again angry--as though he were again laying down the law to +them--as though he were telling her of a duty which was due to him and +incumbent on her. His voice was as stern and his face as acid as ever. +He said that he was asking for a kindness; but surely no man ever asked +for kindness in a voice so peremptory. "Remain in that house." Then he +turned himself in towards his table as though he had no more to say. + +But Mrs Dale was beginning, now at last, to understand something of his +mind and real character. He could be affectionate and forbearing in his +giving; but when asking, he could not be otherwise than stern. Indeed, +he could not ask; he could only demand. + +"We have done so much now," Mrs Dale began to plead. + +"Well, well, well. I did not mean to speak about that. Things are +unpacked easier than they are packed. But, however-- Never mind. Bell is +to go with me this afternoon to Guestwick Manor. Let her be up here at +two. Grimes can bring her box round, I suppose." + +"Oh, yes: of course." + +"And don't be talking to her about money before she starts. I had +rather you didn't--you understand. But when you see Crofts, tell him to +come to me. Indeed, he'd better come at once, if this thing is to go on +quickly." + +It may easily be understood that Mrs Dale would disobey the injunctions +contained in the squire's last words. It was quite out of the question +that she should return to her daughters and not tell them the result of +her morning's interview with their uncle. A hundred a year in the +doctor's modest household would make all the difference between plenty +and want, between modest plenty and endurable want. Of course she told +them, giving Bell to understand that she must dissemble so far as to +pretend ignorance of the affair. + +"I shall thank him at once," said Bell; "and tell him that I did not at +all expect it, but am not too proud to accept it." + +"Pray don't, my dear; not just now. I am breaking a sort of promise in +telling you at all--only I could not keep it to myself. And he has so +many things to worry him! Though he says nothing about it now, he has +half broken his heart about you and Bernard." Then, too, Mrs Dale told +the girls what request the squire had just made, and the manner in +which he had made it. "The tone of his voice as he spoke brought tears +into my eyes. I almost wish we had not done anything." + +"But, mamma," said Lily, "what difference can it make to him? You know +that our presence near him was always a trouble to him. He never really +wanted us. He liked to have Bell there when he thought that Bell would +marry his pet." + +"Don't be unkind, Lily." + +"I don't mean to be unkind. Why shouldn't Bernard be his pet? I love +Bernard dearly, and always thought it the best point in Uncle +Christopher that he was so fond of him. I knew, you know, that it was +no use. Of course I knew it, as I understood all about somebody else. +But Bernard is his pet." + +"He's fond of you all, in his own way," said Mrs Dale. + +"But is he fond of you?--that's the question," said Lily. "We could have +forgiven him anything done to us, and have put up with any words he +might have spoken to us, because he regards us as children. His giving +a hundred a year to Bell won't make you comfortable in this house if he +still domineers over you. If a neighbour be neighbourly, near +neighbourhood is very nice. But Uncle Christopher has not been +neighbourly. He has wanted to be more than an uncle to us, on condition +that he might be less than a brother to you. Bell and I have always +felt that his regard on such terms was not worth having." + +"I almost feel that we have been wrong," said Mrs Dale; "but in truth I +never thought that the matter would be to him one of so much moment." + +When Bell had gone, Mrs Dale and Lily were not disposed to continue +with much energy the occupation on which they had all been employed for +some days past. There had been life and excitement in the work when +they had first commenced their packing, but now it was grown wearisome, +dull, and distasteful. Indeed so much of it was done that but little +was left to employ them, except those final strappings and fastenings, +and that last collection of odds and ends which could not be +accomplished till they were absolutely on the point of starting. The +squire had said that unpacking would be easier than packing, and Mrs +Dale, as she wandered about among the hampers and cases, began to +consider whether the task of restoring all the things to their old +places would be very disagreeable. She said nothing of this to Lily, +and Lily herself, whatever might be her thoughts, made no such +suggestion to her mother. + +"I think Hopkins will miss us more than any one else," she said. +"Hopkins will have no one to scold." + +Just at that moment Hopkins appeared at the parlour window, and +signified his desire for a conference. + +"You must come round," said Lily. "It's too cold for the window to he +opened. I always like to get him into the house, because he feels +himself a little abashed by the chairs and tables; or, perhaps, it is +the carpet that is too much for him. Out on the gravel-walks he is such +a terrible tyrant, and in the greenhouse he almost tramples upon one!" + +Hopkins, when he did appear at the parlour door, seemed by his manner +to justify Lily's discretion. He was not at all masterful in his tone +or bearing, and seemed to pay to the chairs and tables all the +deference which they could have expected. + +"So you be going in earnest, ma'am," he said, looking down at Mrs +Dale's feet. + +As Mrs Dale did not answer him at once, Lily spoke--"Yes, Hopkins, we +are going in a very few days, now. We shall see you sometimes, I hope, +over at Guestwick." + +"Humph!" said Hopkins. "So you be really going! I didn't think it'd +ever come to that, miss; I didn't indeed--and no more it oughtn't; but +of course it isn't for me to speak." + +"People must change their residence sometimes, you know," said Mrs +Dale, using the same argument by which Eames had endeavoured to excuse +his departure to Mrs Roper. + +"Well, ma'am; it ain't for me to say anything. But this I will say, +I've lived here about t squire's place, man and boy, just all my life, +seeing I was born here, as you knows, Mrs Dale; and of all the bad +things I ever see come about the place, this is a sight the worst." + +"Oh, Hopkins!" + +"The worst of all, ma'am; the worst of all! It'll just kill t' squire! +There's ne'ery doubt in the world about that. It'll be the very death +of t' old man." + +"That's nonsense, Hopkins," said Lily. + +"Very well, miss. I don't say but what it is nonsense; only you'll see. +There's Mr Bernard--he's gone away; and by all accounts he never did +care very much for the place. They say all he's a-going to the Hingies. +And Miss Bell is going to be married--which is all proper, in course: +why shouldn't she? And why shouldn't you, too, Miss Lily?" + +"Perhaps I shall, some day, Hopkins." + +"There's no day like the present, Miss Lily. And I do say this, that +the man as pitched into him would be the man for my money." This, which +Hopkins spoke in the excitement of the moment, was perfectly +unintelligible to Lily, and Mrs Dale, who shuddered as she heard him, +said not a word to call for any explanation. "But," continued Hopkins, +"that's all as it may be, Miss Lily, and you be in the hands of +Providence--as is others." + +"Exactly so, Hopkins." + +"But why should your mamma be all for going away? She ain't going to +marry no one. Here's the house, and there's she, and there's t'squire; +and why should she be for going away? So much going away all at once +can't be for any good. It's just a breaking up of everything, as though +nothing wasn't good enough for nobody. I never went away, and I can't +abide it." + +"Well, Hopkins; it's settled now," said Mrs Dale, "and I'm afraid it +can't be unsettled." + +"Settled--well. Tell me this: do you expect, Mrs Dale, that he's to live +there all alone by hisself without any one to say a cross word +to--unless it be me or Dingles; for Jolliffe's worse than nobody, he's +so mortial cross hisself. Of course he can't stand it. If you goes +away, Mrs Dale; Mister Bernard, he'll be squire in less than twelve +months. He'll come back from the Hingies, then, I suppose?" + +"I don't think my brother-in-law will take it in that way, Hopkins." + +"A, ma'am, you don't know him--not as I knows him--all the ins and outs +and crinks and crannies of him. I knows him as I does the old +apple-trees that I've been a-handling for forty year. There's a deal of +bad wood about them old cankered trees, and some folk say they ain't +worth the ground they stand on; but I know where the sap runs, and when +the fruit-blossom shows itself I know where the fruit will be the +sweetest. It don't take much to kill one of them old trees--but there's +life in 'm yet if they be well handled." + +"I'm sure I hope my brother's life may be long spared to him," said Mrs +Dale. + +"Then don't be taking yourself away, ma'am, into them gashly lodgings +at Guestwick. I says they are gashly for the likes of a Dale. It is not +for me to speak, ma'am, of course. And I only came up now just to know +what things you'd like with you out of the greenhouse." + +"Oh, nothing, Hopkins, thank you," said Mrs Dale. + +"He told me to put up for you the best I could pick, and I means to do +it;" and Hopkins, as he spoke, indicated by a motion of his head that +he was making reference to the squire. + +"We shan't have any place for them," said Lily. + +"I must send a few, miss, just to cheer you up a bit. I fear you'll be +very dolesome there. And the doctor--he ain't got what you can call a +regular garden, but there is a bit of a place behind." + +"But we wouldn't rob the dear old place," said Lily. + +"For the matter of that what does it signify? T'squire'll be that +wretched he'll turn sheep in here to destroy the place, or he'll have +the garden ploughed. You see if he don't. As for the place, the place +is clean done for, if you leave it. You don't suppose he'll go and let +the Small House to strangers. T'squire ain't one of that sort any ways." + +"Ah me!" exclaimed Mrs Dale, as soon as Hopkins had taken himself off. + +"What is it, mamma? He's a dear old man, but surely what he says cannot +make you really unhappy." + +"It is so hard to know what one ought to do. I did not mean to be +selfish, but it seems to me as though I were doing the most selfish +thing in the world." + +"Nay, mamma; it has been anything but selfish. Besides, it is we that +have done it; not you." + +"Do you know, Lily, that I also have that feeling as to breaking up +one's old mode of life of which Hopkins spoke. I thought that I should +be glad to escape from this place, but now that the time has come I +dread it." + +"Do you mean that you repent?" + +Mrs Dale did not answer her daughter at once, fearing to commit herself +by words which could not be retracted. But at last she said, "Yes, +Lily; I think I do repent. I think that it has not been well done." + +"Then let it be undone," said Lily. + +The dinner-party at Guestwick Manor on that day was not very bright, +and yet the earl had done all in his power to make his guests happy. +But gaiety did not come naturally to his house, which, as will have +been seen, was an abode very unlike in its nature to that of the other +earl at Courcy Castle. Lady de Courcy at any rate understood how to +receive and entertain a houseful of people, though the practice of +doing so might give rise to difficult questions in the privacy of her +domestic relations. Lady Julia did not understand it; but then Lady +Julia was never called upon to answer for the expense of extra +servants, nor was she asked about twice a week who the ---- was to pay +the wine-merchant's bill? As regards Lord de Guest and the Lady Julia +themselves, I think they had the best of it; but I am bound to admit, +with reference to chance guests, that the house was dull. The people +who were now gathered at the earl's table could hardly have been +expected to be very sprightly when in company with each other. The +squire was not a man much given to general society, and was unused to +amuse a table full of people. On the present occasion he sat next to +Lady Julia, and from time to time muttered a few words to her about the +state of the country. Mrs Eames was terribly afraid of everybody there, +and especially of the earl, next to whom she sat, and whom she +continually called "my lord," showing by her voice as she did so that +she was almost alarmed by the sound of her own voice. Mr and Mrs Boyce +were there, the parson sitting on the other side of Lady Julia, and the +parson's wife on the other side of the earl. Mrs Boyce was very +studious to show that he was quite at home, and talked perhaps more +than any one else; but in doing so she bored the earl most exquisitely, +so that he told John Eames the next morning that she was worse than the +bull. The parson ate his dinner, but said little or nothing between the +two graces. He was a heavy, sensible, slow man, who knew himself and +his own powers. "Uncommon good stewed beef," he said, as he went home; +"why can't we have our beef stewed like that?" "Because we don't pay +our cook sixty pounds a year," said Mrs Boyce. "A woman with sixteen +pounds can stew beef as well as a woman with sixty," said he; "she only +wants looking after." The earl himself was possessed of a sort of +gaiety. There was about him a lightness of spirit which often made him +an agreeable companion to one single person. John Eames conceived him +to be the most sprightly old man of his day--an old man with the fun and +frolic almost of a boy. But this spirit, though it would show itself +before John Eames, was not up to the entertainment of John Eames's +mother and sister, together with the squire, the parson, and the +parson's wife of Allington. So that the earl was over-weighted and did +not shine on this occasion at his own dinner-table. Dr Crofts, who had +also been invited, and who had secured the place which was now +peculiarly his own, next to Bell Dale, was no doubt happy enough; as, +let us hope, was the young lady also; but they added very little to the +general hilarity of the company. John Eames was seated between his own +sister and the parson, and did not at all enjoy his position. He had a +full view of the doctor's felicity, as the happy pair sat opposite to +him, and conceived himself to be hardly treated by Lily's absence. + +The party was certainly very dull, as were all such dinners at +Guestwick Manor. There are houses, which, in their everyday course, are +not conducted by any means in a sad or unsatisfactory manner--in which +life, as a rule, runs along merrily enough; but which cannot give a +dinner-party; or, I might rather say, should never allow themselves to +be allured into the attempt. The owners of such houses are generally +themselves quite aware of the fact, and dread the dinner which they +resolved to give quite as much as it is dreaded by their friends. They +know that they prepare for their guests an evening of misery, and for +themselves certain long hours of purgatory which are hardly to be +endured. But they will do it. Why that long table, and all those +supernumerary glasses and knives and forks, if they are never to be +used? That argument produces all this misery; that and others cognate +to it. On the present occasion, no doubt, there were excuses to be +made. The squire and his niece had been invited on special cause, and +their presence would have been well enough. The doctor added in would +have done no harm. It was good-natured, too, that invitation given to +Mrs Eames and her daughter. The error lay in the parson and his wife. +There was no necessity for their being there, nor had they any ground +on which to stand, except the party-giving ground. Mr and Mrs Boyce +made the dinner-party, and destroyed the social circle. Lady Julia knew +that she had been wrong as soon as she had sent out the note. + +Nothing was said on that evening which has any bearing on our story. +Nothing, indeed, was said which had any bearing on anything. The earl's +professed object had been to bring the squire and young Eames together; +but people are never brought together on such melancholy occasions. +Though they sip their port in close contiguity, they are poles asunder +in their minds and feelings. When the Guestwick fly came for Mrs Eames, +and the parson's pony-phaeton came for him and Mrs Boyce, a great +relief was felt; but the misery of those who were left had gone too far +to allow of any reaction on that evening. The squire yawned, and the +earl yawned, and then there was an end of it for that night. + + + +CHAPTER LIV + +THE SECOND VISIT TO THE GUESTWICK BRIDGE + +Bell had declared that her sister would be very happy to see John Eames +if he would go over to Allington, and he had replied that of course he +would go there. So much having been, as it were, settled, he was able +to speak of his visit as a matter of course at the breakfast table, on +the morning after the earl's dinner-party. "I must get you to come +round with me, Dale, and see what I am doing to the land," the earl +said. And then he proposed to order saddle-horses. But the squire +preferred walking, and in this way they were disposed of soon after +breakfast. + +John had it in his mind to get Bell to himself for half an hour, and +hold a conference with her; but it either happened that Lady Julia was +too keen in her duties as a hostess, or else, as was more possible, +Bell avoided the meeting. No opportunity for such an interview offered +itself, though he hung about the drawing-room all the morning. "You had +better wait for luncheon, now," Lady Julia said to him about twelve. +But this he declined; and taking himself away hid himself about the +place for the next hour and a half. During this time he considered much +whether it would be better for him to ride or walk. If she should give +him any hope, he could ride back triumphant as a field-marshal. Then +the horse would be delightful to him. But if she should give him no +hope--if it should be his destiny to be rejected utterly on that +morning--then the horse would be terribly in the way of his sorrow. +Under such circumstances what could he do but roam wide across the +fields, resting when he might choose to rest, and running when it might +suit him to run. "And she is not like other girls," he thought to +himself. "She won't care for my boots being dirty." So at last he +elected to walk. + +"Stand up to her boldly, man," the earl had said to him. "By George, +what is there to be afraid of? It's my belief they'll give most to +those who ask for most. There's nothing sets' em against a man like +being sheepish." How the earl knew so much, seeing that he had not +himself given signs of any success in that walk of life, I am not +prepared to say. But Eames took his advice as being in itself good, and +resolved to act upon it. "Not that any resolution will be of any use," +he said to himself, as he walked along. "When the moment comes I know +that I shall tremble before her, and I know that she'll see it; but I +don't think it will make any difference in her." + +He had last seen her on the lawn behind the Small House, just at that +time when her passion for Crosbie was at the strongest. Eames had gone +thither impelled by a foolish desire to declare to her his hopeless +love, and she had answered him by telling him that she loved Mr Crosbie +better than all the world besides. Of course she had done so, at that +time; but, nevertheless, her manner of telling him had seemed to him to +be cruel. And he also had been cruel. He had told her that he hated +Crosbie--calling him "that man," and assuring her that no earthly +consideration should induce him to go into "that man's house." Then he +had walked away moodily wishing him all manner of evil. Was it not +singular that all the evil things which he, in his mind, had meditated +for the man, had fallen upon him. Crosbie had lost his love! He had so +proved himself to be a villain that his name might not be so much as +mentioned! He had been ignominiously thrashed! But what good would all +this be if his image were still dear to Lily's heart? "I told her that +I loved her then," he said to himself, "though I had no right to do so. +At any rate I have a right to tell her now." + +When he reached Allington he did not go in through the village and up +to the front of the Small House by the cross street, but turned by the +church gate and passed over the squire's terrace, and by the end of the +Great House through the garden. Here he encountered Hopkins. "Why, if +that b'aint Mr Eames!" said the gardener. "Mr John, may I make so +bold!" and Hopkins held out a very dirty hand, which Eames of course +took, unconscious of the cause of this new affection. + +"I'm just going to call at the Small House, and I thought I'd come this +way." + +"To be sure; this way, or that way, or any way, who's so welcome, Mr +John? I envies you; I envies you more than I envies any man. If I could +a got him by the scuff of the neck, I'd a treated him jist like any +wermin--I would, indeed! He was wermin! I ollays said it. I hated him +ollays! I did indeed, Mr John, from the first moment when he used to be +nigging away at them foutry balls, knocking them in among the +rhododendrons, as though there weren't no flower blossoms for next +year. He never looked at one as though one were a Christian; did he, Mr +John?" + +"I wasn't very fond of him myself, Hopkins." + +"Of course you weren't very fond of him. Who was?--only she, poor young +lady. She'll be better now, Mr John, a deal better. He wasn't a +wholesome lover--not like you are. Tell me, Mr John, did you give it him +well when you got him? I heard you did--two black eyes, and all his face +one mash of gore!" And Hopkins, who was by no means a young man, +stiffly put himself into a fighting attitude. + +Eames passed on over the little bridge, which seemed to be in a state +of fast decay, unattended to by any friendly carpenter, now that the +days of its use were so nearly at an end; and on into the garden, +lingering on the spot where he had last said farewell to Lily. He +looked about as though he expected still to find her there; but there +was no one to be seen in the garden, and no sound to be heard. As every +step brought him nearer to her whom he was seeking, he became more and +more conscious of the hopelessness of his errand. Him she had never +loved, and why should he venture to hope that she would love him now? +He would have turned back had he not been aware that his promise to +others required that he should persevere. He had said that he would do +this thing, and he would be as good as, his word. But he hardly +ventured to hope that he might be successful. In this frame of mind he +slowly made his way up across the lawn. + +"My dear, there is John Eames," said Mrs Dale, who had first seen him +from the parlour window. + +"Don't go, mamma." + +"I don't know; perhaps it will be better that I should." + +"No, mamma, no; what good can it do? It can do no good. I like him as +well as I can like any one. I love him dearly. But it can do no good. +Let him come in here, and be very kind to him; but do not go away and +leave us. Of course I knew he would come, and I shall be very glad to +see him." + +Then Mrs Dale went round to the other room, and admitted her visitor +through the window of the drawing-room. "We are in terrible confusion, +John, are we not? + +"And so you are really going to live in Guestwick?" + +"Well, it looks like it, does it not? But, to tell you a secret--only it +must be a secret; you must not mention it at Guestwick Manor; even Bell +does not know--we have half made up our minds to unpack all our things +and stay where we are." + +Eames was so intent on his own purpose, and so fully occupied with the +difficulty of the task before him, that he could hardly receive Mrs +Dale's tidings with all the interest which they deserved. "Unpack them +all again," he said. "That will be very troublesome. Is Lily with you, +Mrs Dale?" + +"Yes, she is in the parlour. Come and see her." So he followed Mrs Dale +through the hall, and found himself in the presence of his love. + +"How do you do, John?" "How do you do, Lily?" We all know the way in +which such meetings are commenced. Each longed to be tender and +affectionate to the other--each in a different way; but neither knew how +to throw any tenderness into this first greeting. "So you're staying at +the Manor House," said Lily. + +"Yes; I'm staying there. Your uncle and Bell came yesterday afternoon." + +"Have you heard about Bell?" said Mrs Dale. + +"Oh, yes; Mary told me. I'm so glad of it. I always liked Dr Crofts +very much. I have not congratulated her, because I didn't know whether +it was a secret. But Crofts was there last night, and if it is a secret +he didn't seem to be very careful about keeping it." + +"It is no secret," said Mrs Dale. "I don't know that I am fond of such +secrets." But as she said this, she thought of Crosbie's engagement, +which had been told to every one, and of its consequences. + +"Is it to be soon?" he asked. + +"Well, yes; we think so. Of course nothing is settled." + +"It was such fun," said Lily. "James, who took, at any rate, a year or +two to make his proposal, wanted to be married the next day +afterwards." + +"No, Lily; not quite that." + +"Well, mamma, it was very nearly that. He thought it could all be done +this week. It has made us so happy, John! I don't know anybody I should +so much like for a brother. I'm very glad you like him--very glad. I +hope you'll be friends always." There was some little tenderness in +this--as John acknowledged to himself. + +"I'm sure we shall--if he likes it. That is, if I ever happen to see +him. I'll do anything for him I can if he ever comes up to London. +Wouldn't it be a good thing, Mrs Dale, if he settled himself in London? + +"No, John; it would be a very bad thing. Why should he wish to rob me +of my daughter?" + +Mrs Dale was speaking of her eldest daughter; but the very allusion to +any such robbery covered John Eames's face with a blush, made him hot +up to the roots of his hair, and for the moment silenced him.. + +"You think he would have a better career in London?" said Lily, +speaking under the influence of her superior presence of mind. + +She had certainly shown defective judgment in desiring her mother not +to leave them alone; and of this Mrs Dale soon felt herself aware. The +thing had to be done, and no little precautionary measure, such as this +of Mrs Dale's enforced presence, would prevent it. Of this Mrs Dale was +well aware; and she felt, moreover, that John was entitled to an +opportunity of pleading his own cause. It might be that such +opportunity would avail him nothing, but not the less should he have it +of right, seeing that he desired it. But yet Mrs Dale did not dare to +get up and leave the room. Lily had asked her not to do so, and at the +present period of their lives all Lily's requests were sacred. They +continued for some time to talk of Crofts and his marriage; and when +that subject was finished, they discussed their own probable--or, as it +seemed now, improbable--removal to Guestwick. "It's going too far, +mamma," said Lily, "to say that you think we shall not go. It was only +last night that you suggested it. The truth is, John, that Hopkins came +in and discoursed with the most wonderful eloquence. Nobody dared to +oppose Hopkins. He made us almost cry; he was so pathetic." + +"He has just been talking to me, too," said John, "as I came through +the squire's garden." + +"And what has he been saying to you?" said Mrs Dale. + +"Oh, I don't know; not much." John, however, remembered well, at this +moment, all that the gardener had said to him. Did she know of that +encounter between him and Crosbie? and if she did know of it, in what +light did she regard it? + +They had sat thus for an hour together, and Eames was not as yet an +inch nearer to his object. He had sworn to himself that he would not +leave the Small House without asking Lily to be his wife. It seemed to +him as though he would be guilty of falsehood towards the earl if he +did so. Lord de Guest had opened his house to him, and had asked all +the Dales there, and had offered himself up as a sacrifice at the cruel +shrine of a serious dinner-party, to say nothing of that easier and +lighter sacrifice which he had made in a pecuniary point of view, in +order that this thing might be done. Under such circumstances Eames was +too honest a man not to do it, let the difficulties in his way be what +they might. + +He had sat there for an hour, and Mrs Dale still remained with her +daughter. Should he get up boldly and ask Lily to put on her bonnet and +come out into the garden? As the thought struck him, he rose and +grasped at his hat. "I am going to walk back to Guestwick," said he. + +"It was very good of you to come so far to see us." + +"I was always fond of walking," he said. "The earl wanted me to ride, +but I prefer being on foot when I know the country, as I do here." + +"Have a glass of wine before you go." + +"Oh, dear, no. I think I'll go back through the squire's fields, and +out on the road at the white gate. The path is quite dry now." + +"I dare say it is," said Mrs Dale. + +"Lily, I wonder whether you would come as far as that with me." As the +request was made Mrs Dale looked at her daughter almost beseechingly. +"Do, pray do," said he; "it is a beautiful day for walking." + +The path proposed lay right across the field into which, Lily had taken +Crosbie when she made her offer to let him off from his engagement. +Could it be possible that she should ever walk there again with another +lover? "No, John," she said; "not today, I think. I am almost tired, +and I had rather not go out." + +"It would do you good," said Mrs Dale. + +"I don't want to be done good to, mamma. Besides, I should have to come +back by myself." + +"I'll come back with you," said Johnny. + +"Oh, yes; and then I should have to go again with you. But, John, +really I don't wish to walk today." Whereupon John Eames again put down +his hat. + +"Lily," said he; and then he stopped. Mrs Dale walked away to the +window, turning her back upon her daughter and visitor. "Lily, I have +come over here on purpose to speak to you. Indeed, I have come down +from London only that I might see you." + +"Have you, John?" + +"Yes, I have. You know well all that I have got to tell you. I loved +you before he ever saw you; and now that he has gone, I love you better +than I ever did. Dear Lily!" and he put out his hand to her. + +"No, John; no," she answered. + +"Must it be always no?" + +"Always no to that. How can it be otherwise? You would not have me +marry you while I love another!" + +"But he is gone. He has taken another wife." + +"I cannot change myself because he is changed. If you are kind to me +you will let that be enough." + +"But you are so unkind to me!" + +"No, no; oh, I would wish to be so kind to you! John, here; take my +hand. It is the hand of a friend who loves you, and will always love +you. Dear John, I will do anything--everything for you but that." +"There is only one thing," said he, still holding her by the hand, but +with his face turned from her. + +"Nay; do not say so. Are you worse off than I am? I could not have that +one thing, and I was nearer to my heart's longings than you have ever +been. I cannot have that one thing; but I know that there are other +things, and I will not allow myself to be broken-hearted." + +"You are stronger than I am," he said. + +"Not stronger, but more certain. Make yourself as sure as I am, and +you, too, will be strong. Is it not so, mamma?" + +"I wish it could be otherwise--I wish it could be otherwise! If you can +give him any hope--" + +"Mamma!" + +"Tell me that I may come again--in a year," he pleaded. + +"I cannot tell you so. You may not come again--not in this way. Do you +remember what, I told you before, in the garden; that I loved him +better than all the world besides? It is still the same. I still love +him better than all the world. How, then, can I give you any hope?" + +"But it will not be so for ever, Lily." + +"For ever! Why should he not be mine as well as hers when that for ever +comes? John, if you understand what it is to love, you will say nothing +more of it. I have spoken to you more openly about this than I have +ever done to anybody, even to mamma, because I have wished to make you +understand my feelings. I should be disgraced in my own eyes if I +admitted the love of another man, after--after--. It is to me almost as +though I had married him. I am not blaming him, remember. These things +are different with a man." + +She had not dropped his hand, and as she made her last speech was +sitting in her old chair with her eyes fixed upon the ground. She spoke +in a low voice, slowly, almost with difficulty; but still the words +came very clearly, with a clear, distinct voice which caused them to be +remembered with accuracy, both by Eames and Mrs Dale. To him it seemed +to be impossible that he should continue his suit after such a +declaration. To Mrs Dale they were terrible words, speaking of a +perpetual widowhood, and telling of an amount of suffering greater even +than that which she had anticipated. It was true that Lily had never +said so much to her as she had now said to John Eames, or had attempted +to make so clear an exposition of her own feelings. "I should be +disgraced in my own eyes if I admitted the love of another man!" They +were terrible words, but very easy to be understood. Mrs Dale had felt, +from the first, that Eames was coming too soon, that the earl and the +squire together were making an effort to cure the wound too quickly +after its infliction; that time should have been given to her girl to +recover. But now the attempt had been made, and words had been forced +from Lily's lips, the speaking of which would never be forgotten by +herself. + +"I knew that it would be so," said John. + +"Ah, yes; you know it, because your heart understands my heart. And you +will not be angry with me, and say naughty, cruel words, as you did +once before. We will think, of each other, John, and pray for each +other; and will always love one another. When we do meet let us be glad +to see each other. No other friend shall ever be dearer to me than you +are. You are so true and honest! When you marry I will tell your wife +what an infinite blessing God has given her." + +"You shall never do that." + +"Yes, I will. I understand what you mean; but yet I will." + +"Good-bye, Mrs Dale," he said. + +"Good-bye, John. If it could have been otherwise with her, you should +have had all my best wishes in the matter. I would have loved you +dearly as my son; and I will love you now." Then she put up her lips +and kissed his face. + +"And so will I love you," said Lily, giving him her hand again. He +looked longingly into her face as though he had thought it possible +that she also might kiss him: then he pressed her hand to his lips, and +without speaking any further farewell, took up his hat and left the +room. + +"Poor fellow!" said Mrs Dale. + +"They should not have let him come," said Lily. "But they don't +understand. They think that I have lost a toy, and they mean to be +good-natured, and to give me another." Very shortly after that Lily +went away by herself, and sat alone for hours; and when she joined her +mother again at tea-time, nothing further was said of John Eames's +visit. + +He made his way out by the front door, and through the churchyard, and +in this way on to the field through which he had asked Lily to walk +with him. He hardly began to think of what had passed till he had left +the squire's house behind him. As he made his way through the +tombstones he paused and read one, as though it interested him. He +stood a moment under the tower looking up at the clock, and then pulled +out his own watch, as though to verify the one by the other. He made, +unconsciously, a struggle to drive away from his thoughts the facts of +the late scene, and for some five or ten minutes he succeeded. + +He said to himself a word or two about Sir Raffle and his letters, and +laughed inwardly as he remembered the figure of Rafferty bringing in +the knight's shoes. He had gone some half mile upon his way before he +ventured to stand still and tell himself that he had failed in the +great object of his life. + +Yes; he had failed: and he acknowledged to himself, with bitter +reproaches, that he had failed, now and for ever. He told himself that +he had obtruded upon her in her sorrow with an unmannerly love, and +rebuked himself as having been not only foolish but ungenerous. His +friend the earl had been wont, in his waggish way, to call him the +conquering hero, and had so talked him out of his common sense as to +have made him almost think that he would be successful in his suit. +Now, as he told himself that any such success must have been +impossible, he almost hated the earl for having brought him to this +condition. A conquering hero, indeed! How should he manage to sneak +back among them all at the Manor House, crestfallen and abject in his +misery? Everybody knew the errand on which he had gone, and everybody +must know of his failure. How could he have been such a fool as to +undertake such a task under the eyes of so many lookers-on? Was it not +the case that he had so fondly expected success, as to think only of +his triumph in returning, and not of his more probable disgrace? He had +allowed others to make a fool of him, and had so made a fool of himself +that now all hope and happiness were over for him. How could he escape +at once out of the country--back to London? How could he get away +without saying a word further to any one? That was the thought that at +first occupied his mind. + +He crossed the road at the end of the squire's property, where the +parish of Allington divides itself from that of Abbot's Guest in which +the earl's house stands, and made his way back along the copse which +skirted the field in which they had encountered the bull, into the high +woods which were at the back of the park. Ah, yes; it had been well for +him that he had not come out on horseback. That ride home along the +high road and up to the Manor House stables would, under his present +circumstances, have been almost impossible to him. As it was, he did +not think it possible that he should return to his place in the earl's +house. How could he pretend to maintain his ordinary demeanour under +the eyes of those two old men? It would be better for him to get home +to his mother--to send a message from thence to the Manor, and then to +escape back to London. + +So thinking, but with no resolution made, he went on through the woods, +and down from the hill back towards the town till he again came to the +little bridge over the brook. There he stopped and stood a while with +his broad hand spread over the letters which he had cut in those early +days, so as to hide them from his sight. "What an ass I have +been--always and ever!" he said to himself. + +It was not only of his late disappointment that he was thinking, but of +his whole past life. He was conscious of his hobbledehoyhood-of that +backwardness on his part in assuming manhood which had rendered him +incapable of making himself acceptable to Lily before she had fallen +into the clutches of Crosbie. As he thought of this he declared to +himself that if he could meet Crosbie again he would again thrash +him--that he would so belabour him as to send him out of the world, if +such sending might possibly be done by fair beating, regardless whether +he himself might be called upon to follow him. Was it not hard that for +the two of them--for Lily and for him also--there should be such +punishment because of the insincerity of that man? When he had thus +stood upon the bridge for some quarter of an hour, he took out his +knife, and, with deep rough gashes in the wood, cut out Lily's name +from the rail. + +He had hardly finished, and was still looking at the chips as they were +being carried away by the stream, when a gentle step came close up to +him, and turning round, he saw that Lady Julia was on the bridge. She +was close to him, and had already seen his handiwork. "Has she offended +you, John?" she said. + +"Oh, Lady Julia!" + +"Has she offended you?" + +"She has refused me, and it is all over." + +"It may be that she has refused you, and that yet it need not be all +over. I am sorry that you have cut out the name. John. Do you mean to +cut it out from your heart?" + +"Never. I would if I could, but I never shall." + +"Keep to it as to a great treasure. It will be a joy to you in after +years, and not a sorrow. To have loved truly, even though you shall +have loved in vain, will be a consolation when you are as old as I am. +It is something to have had a heart." + +"I don't know. I wish that I had none." + +"And, John--I can understand her feeling now; and, indeed, I thought all +through that you were asking her too soon; but the time may yet come +when she will think better of your wishes." + +"No, no; never. I begin to know her now." + +"If you can be constant in your love you may win her yet. Remember how +young she is; and how young you both are. Come again in two years' +time, and then, when you have won her, you shall tell me that I have +been a good old woman to you both." + +"I shall never win her, Lady Julia." As he spoke these last words the +tears were running down his cheeks, and he was weeping openly in +presence of his companion. It was well for him that she had come upon +him in his sorrow. When he once knew that she had seen his tears, he +could pour out to her the whole story of his grief; and as he did so +she led him back quietly to the house. + + + +CHAPTER LV + +NOT VERY FIE FIE AFTER ALL + +It will perhaps be remembered that terrible things had been foretold as +about to happen between the Hartletop and Omnium families. Lady +Dumbello had smiled whenever Mr Plantagenet Palliser had spoken to her. +Mr Palliser had confessed to himself that politics were not enough for +him, and that Love was necessary to make up the full complement of his +happiness. Lord Dumbello had frowned latterly when his eyes fell on the +tall figure of the duke's heir; and the duke himself--that potentate, +generally so mighty in his silence--the duke himself had spoken. Lady de +Courcy and Lady Clandidlem were, both of them, absolutely certain that +the thing had been fully arranged. I am, therefore, perfectly justified +in stating that the world was talking about the loves--the illicit +loves--of Mr Palliser and Lady Dumbello. + +And the talking of the world found its way down to that respectable +country parsonage in which Lady Dumbello had been born, and from which +she had been taken away to those noble halls which she now graced by +her presence. The talking of the world was heard at Plumstead Episcopi, +where still lived Archdeacon Grantly, the lady's father; and was heard +also at the deanery of Barchester, where lived the lady's aunt and +grandfather. By whose ill-mannered tongue the rumour was spread in +these ecclesiastical regions it boots not now to tell. But it may be +remembered that Courcy Castle was riot far from Barchester, and that +Lady de Courcy was not given to hide her lights under a bushel. + +It was a terrible rumour. To what mother must not such a rumour +respecting her daughter be very terrible? In no mother's ears could it +have sounded more frightfully than it did in those of Mrs Grantly. Lady +Dumbello, the daughter, might be altogether worldly; but Mrs Grantly +had never been more than half worldly. In one moiety of her character, +her habits, and her desires, she had been wedded to things good in +themselves--to religion, to charity, and to honest-hearted uprightness. +It is true that the circumstances of her life had induced her to serve +both God and Mammon, and that, therefore, she had gloried greatly in +the marriage of her daughter with the heir of a marquis. She had +revelled in the aristocratic elevation of her child, though she +continued to dispense books and catechisms with her own hands to the +children of the labourers of Plumstead Episcopi. When Griselda first +became Lady Dumbello the mother feared somewhat lest her child should +find herself unequal to the exigencies of her new position. But the +child had proved herself more than equal to them, and had mounted up to +a dizzy height of success, which brought to the mother great glory and +great fear also. She delighted to think that her Griselda was great +even among the daughters of marquises; but she trembled as she +reflected how deadly would be the fall from such a height--should there +ever be a fall! + +But she had never dreamed of such, a fall as this! She would have +said--indeed, she often had said--to the archdeacon that Griselda's +religious principles were too firmly fixed to be moved by outward +worldly matters; signifying, it may be, her conviction that that +teaching of Plumstead Episcopi had so fastened her daughter into a +groove, that all the future teaching of Hartlebury would not suffice to +undo the fastenings. When she had thus boasted no such idea as that of +her daughter running from her husband's house had ever come upon her; +but she had alluded to vices of a nature kindred to that vice--to vices +into which other aristocratic ladies sometimes fell, who had been less +firmly grooved; and her boastings had amounted to this--that she herself +had so successfully served God and Mammon together, that her child +might go forth and enjoy all worldly things without risk of damage to +things heavenly. Then came upon her this rumour. The archdeacon told +her in a hoarse whisper that he had been recommended to look to it, +that it was current through the world that Griselda was about to leave +her husband. + +"Nothing on earth shall make me believe it," said Mrs Grantly. But she +sat alone in her drawing-room afterwards and trembled. Then came her +sister, Mrs Arabin, the dean's wife, over to the parsonage, and in +half-hidden words told the same story. She had heard it from Mrs +Proudie, the bishop's wife. "That woman is as false as the father of +falsehoods," said Mrs Grantly. But she trembled the more; and as she +prepared her parish work, could think of nothing but her child. What +would be all her life to come, what would have been all that was past +of her life, if this thing should happen to her? She would not believe +it; but yet she trembled the more as she thought of her daughter's +exaltation, and remembered that such things had been done in that world +to which Griselda now belonged. Ah! would it not have been better for +them if they had not raised their heads so high! And she walked, out +alone among the tombs of the neighbouring churchyard, and stood over +the grave in which had been laid the body of her other daughter. Could +be it that the fate of that one had been the happier. + +Very few words were spoken on the subject between her and the +archdeacon, and yet it seemed agreed among them that something should +be done. He went up to London, and saw his daughter--not daring, +however, to mention such a subject. Lord Dumbello was cross with him, +and very uncommunicative. Indeed both the archdeacon and Mrs Grantly +had found that their daughter's house was not comfortable to them, and +as they were sufficiently proud among their own class they had not +cared to press themselves on the hospitality of their son-in-law. But +he had been able to perceive that all was not right in the house in +Carlton Gardens. Lord Dumbello was not gracious with his wife, and +there was something in the silence, rather than in the speech, of men, +which seemed to justify the report which had reached him. + +"He is there oftener than he should be," said the archdeacon. "And I am +sure of this, at least, that Dumbello does not like it." + +"I will write to her," said Mrs Grantly at last. "I am still her +mother--I will write to her. It may be that she does not know what +people say of her." + +And Mrs Grantly did write. + + +PLUMSTEAD, April, 186-. + +DEAREST GRISELDA--It seems sometimes that you have been moved so far +away from me that I have hardly a right to concern myself more in the +affairs of your daily life, and I know that it is impossible that, you +should refer to me for advice or sympathy, as you would have done had +you married some gentleman of our own standing. But I am quite sure +that my child does not forget her mother, or fail to look back upon her +mother's love; and that she will allow me to speak to her if she be in +trouble, as I would to any other child whom I had loved and cherished. +I pray God that I may be wrong in supposing that such trouble is near +you. If I am so you will forgive me my solicitude. + +Rumours have reached us from more than one quarter that--Oh! Griselda, I +hardly know in what words to conceal and yet to declare that which I +have to write. They say that you are intimate with Mr Palliser, the +nephew of the duke, and that your husband is much offended. Perhaps I +had better tell you all, openly, cautioning you not to suppose that I +have believed it. They say that it is thought that you are going to put +yourself under Mr Palliser's protection. My dearest child, I think you +can imagine with what agony I write these words--with what terrible +grief I must have been oppressed before I could, have allowed myself to +entertain the thoughts which have produced them. Such things are said +openly in Barchester, and your father, who has been in town and has +seen you, feels himself unable to tell me that my mind may be at rest. + +I will not say to you a word as to the injury in a worldly point of +view which would come to you from any rupture with your husband. I +believe that you can see what would be the effect of so terrible a step +quite as plainly as I can show it you. You would break the heart of +your father and send your mother to her grave--but it is not even on +that that I may most insist. It is this--that you would offend your God +by the worst sin that a woman can commit, and cast yourself into a +depth of infamy in which repentance before God is almost impossible, +and from which escape before man is not permitted. + +I do not believe it, my dearest, dearest child--my only living daughter; +I do not believe what they have said to me. But as a mother I have not +dared to leave the slander unnoticed. If you will write to me and say +that it is not so, you will make me happy again, even though you should +rebuke me for my suspicion. + +Believe that at all times, and under all circumstances, I am still your +loving mother, as I was in other days. + +SUSAN GRANTLY. + + +We will now go back to Mr Palliser as he sat in his chambers at the +Albany, thinking of his love. The duke had cautioned him, and the +duke's agent had cautioned him; and he, in spite of his high feeling of +independence, had almost been made to tremble. All his thousands a year +were in the balance, and perhaps everything on which depended his +position before the world. But, nevertheless, though he did tremble, he +resolved to persevere. Statistics were becoming dry to him, and love, +was very sweet. Statistics, he thought, might be made as enchanting as +ever, if only they could be mingled with, love. The mere idea of loving +Lady Dumbello had seemed to give a salt to his life of which he did not +now know how to rob himself. It is true that he had not as yet enjoyed +many of the absolute blessings of love, seeing that his conversations +with Lady Dumbello had never been warmer than those which have been +repeated in these pages; but his imagination had been at work; and now +that Lady Dumbello was fully established at her house in Carlton +Gardens, he was determined to declare his passion on the first +convenient opportunity. It was sufficiently manifest to him that the +world expected him to do so, and that the world was already a little +disposed to find fault with the slowness of his proceedings. + +He had been once at Carlton Gardens since the season had commenced, and +the lady had favoured him with her sweetest smile. But he had only been +half a minute alone with her, and during that half-minute had only time +to remark that he supposed she would now remain in London for the +season. + +"Oh, yes," she had answered, "we shall not leave till July." Nor could +he leave till July, because of the exigencies of his statistics. He +therefore had before him two, if not three, clear months in which to +manoeuvre, to declare his purposes, and prepare for the future events +of his life. As he resolved on a certain morning that he would say his +first tender word to Lady Dumbello that very night, in the drawing-room +of Lady de Courcy, where he knew that he should meet her, a letter came +to him by the post. He well knew the hand and the intimation which it +would contain. It was from the duke's agent, Mr Fothergill, and +informed him that a certain sum of money had been placed to his credit +at his banker's. But the letter went further, and informed him also +that the duke had given his agent to understand that special +instructions would be necessary before the next quarterly payment could +be made. Mr Fothergill said nothing further, but Mr Palliser understood +it all. He felt his blood run cold round his heart; but, nevertheless, +he determined that he would not break his word to Lady de Courcy that +night. + +And Lady Dumbello received her letter, also on the same morning. She +was being dressed as she read it, and the maidens who attended her +found no cause to suspect that anything in the letter had excited her +ladyship. Her ladyship was not often excited, though she was vigilant +in exacting from them their utmost cares. She read her letter, however, +very carefully, and as she sat beneath the toilet implements of her +maidens thought deeply of the tidings which had been brought to her. +She was angry with no one--she was thankful to no one. She felt no +special love for any person concerned in the matter. Her heart did not +say, "Oh, my lord and husband!" or "Oh, my lover!" or "Oh, my mother, +the friend of my childhood!" But she became aware that matter for +thought had been brought before her, and she did think. "Send my love +to Lord Dumbello," she said, when the operations were nearly completed, +"and tell him that I shall be so glad to see him if he will come to me +while I am at breakfast." + +"Yes, my lady." And then the message came back: "His lordship would be +with her ladyship certainly." + +"Gustavus," she said, as soon as she had seated herself discreetly in +her chair, "I have had a letter from my mother, which you had better +read;" and she handed to him the document. "I do not know what I have +done to deserve such suspicions from her; but she lives in the country, +and has probably been deceived by ill-natured people. At any rate you +must read it, and tell me what I should do." + +We may predicate from this that Mr Palliser's chance of being able to +shipwreck himself upon that rock was but small, and that he would, in +spite of himself, be saved from his uncle's anger. Lord Dumbello took +the letter and read it very slowly, standing, as he did so, with his +back to the fire. He read it very slowly, and his wife, though she +never turned her face directly upon his, could perceive that he became +very red, that he was fluttered and put beyond himself, and that his +answer was not ready. She was well aware that his conduct to her during +the last three months had been much altered from his former usages; +that he had been rougher with her in his speech when alone, and less +courteous in his attention when in society; but she had made no +complaint or spoken a word to show him that she had marked the change. +She had known, moreover, the cause of his altered manner, and having +considered much, had resolved that she would live it down. She had +declared to herself that she had done no deed and spoken no word that +justified suspicion, and therefore she would make no change in her +ways, or show herself to be conscious that she was suspected. But +now--having her mother's letter in her hand--she could bring him to an +explanation without making him aware that she had ever thought that he +had been jealous of her. To her, her mother's letter was a great +assistance. It justified a scene like this, and enabled her to fight +her battle after her own fashion. As for eloping with any Mr Palliser, +and giving up the position which she had won--no, indeed! She had been +fastened in her grooves too well for that! Her mother, in entertaining +any fear on such a subject, had shown herself to be ignorant of the +solidity of her daughter's character. + +"Well, Gustavus," she said at last. "You must say what answer I shall +make, or whether I shall make any answer.." But he was not even yet +ready to instruct her. So he unfolded the letter and read it again, and +she poured out for herself a cup of tea. + +"It's a very serious matter," said he. + +"Yes, it is serious; I could not but think such a letter from my mother +to be serious. Had it come from any one else I doubt whether I should +have troubled you; unless, indeed, it and been from any as near to you +as she is to me. As it is, you cannot but feel that I am right" + +"Right! Oh, yes, you are right--quite right to tell me; you should tell +me everything. D--- them!" But whom he meant to condemn he did not +explain. + +"I am above all things averse to cause you trouble," 'she said. "I have +seen some little things of late--" + +"Has he ever said anything to you?" + +"Who--Mr Palliser? Never a word." + +"He has hinted at nothing of this kind?" + +"Never a word. Had he done so. I must have made you understand that he +could not have been allowed again into my drawing-room." Then again he +read the letter, or pretended to do so. + +"Your mother means well," he said. + +"Oh, yes, she means well. She has been foolish to believe the +tittle-tattle that has reached her--very foolish to oblige me to give +you this annoyance." + +"Oh, as for that, I'm not annoyed. By Jove, no. Come, Griselda, let us +have it all out; other people have said this, and I have been unhappy. +Now, you know it all." + +"Have I made you unhappy?" + +"Well, no; not you.. Don't be hard upon me when I tell you the whole +truth. Fools and brutes have whispered things that have vexed me. They +may whisper till the devil fetches them, but they shan't annoy me +again. Give me a kiss, my girl." And he absolutely put out his arms and +embraced her. "Write a good-natured letter to your mother, and ask her +to come up for a week in May. That'll be the best thing; and then +she'll understand; By Jove, it's twelve o'clock. Goodbye." + +Lady Dumbello was well aware that she had triumphed, and that her +mother's letter had been invaluable to her. But it had been used, and +therefore she did not read it again. She ate her breakfast in quiet +comfort, looking over a milliner's French circular as she did so; and +then, when the time for such an operation had fully come, she got to +her writing-table and answered her mother's letter. + + +DEAR MAMMA (she said)--I thought it best to show your letter at once to +Lord Dumbello. He said that people would be ill-natured, and seemed to +think that the telling of such stories could not be helped. As regards +you, he was not a bit angry, but said that you and papa had better come +to us for a week about the end of next month. Do come. We are to have +rather a large dinner-party on the 23rd. His Royal Highness is coming, +and I think papa would like to meet him. Have you observed that those +very high bonnets have all gone out: I never, liked them; and as I had +got a hint from Paris, I have been doing my best to put them down. I do +hope nothing will prevent your coming. + +Your affectionate daughter + +CARLTON GARDENS, Wednesday. G. DUMBELLO + + +Mrs Grantly was aware, from the moment in which she received the +letter, that she had wronged her daughter by her suspicions. It did not +occur to her to disbelieve a word that was said in the letter, or an +inference that was implied. She had been wrong, and rejoiced that it +was so. But nevertheless there was that in the letter which annoyed and +irritated her, though she could not explain to herself the cause of her +annoyance. She had thrown all her heart into that which she had +written, but in the words which her child had written not a vestige of +heart was to be found. In that reconciling of God and Mammon which Mrs +Grantly had carried on so successfully in the education of her +daughter, the organ had not been required, and had become withered, if +not defunct, through want of use. + +"We will not go there, I think" said Mrs Grantly, speaking to her +husband. + +"Oh dear, no; certainly not. If you want to go to town at all, I will +take rooms for you. And as for his Royal Highness I have a great +respect for his Royal Highness, but I do not in the least desire to +meet him at Dumbello's table." + +And so that matter was settled, as regarded the inhabitants of +Plumstead Episcopi. + +And whither did Lord Dumbello betake himself when he left his wife's +room in so great a hurry at twelve o'clock? Not to the Park, nor to +Tattersall's, nor to a Committee-room of the House of Commons, nor yet +to the bow-window of his club. But he went straight to a great +jeweller's in Ludgate Hill, and there purchased a wonderful green +necklace, very rare and curious, heavy with green sparkling drops, with +three row's of shining green stones embedded in chaste gold--a necklace +amounting almost to a jewelled cuirass in weight and extent. It had +been in all the exhibitions, and was very costly and magnificent. While +Lady Dumbello was still dressing in the evening this was brought to her +with her lord's love, as his token of renewed confidence; and Lady +Dumbello, as she counted the sparkles, triumphed inwardly, telling +herself that she had played her cards well. + +But while she counted the sparkles produced by her full reconciliation +with her lord, poor Plantagenet Palliser was still trembling in his +ignorance. If only he could have been allowed to see Mrs Grantly's +letter, and the lady's answer, and the lord's present! But no such +seeing was vouchsafed to him, and he was carried off in his brougham to +Lady de Courcy's house, twittering with expectant love, and trembling +with expectant ruin. To this conclusion he had come at any rate, that +if anything was to be done, it should be done now. He would speak a +word of love, and prepare his future in accordance with the acceptance +it might receive. + +Lady de Courcy's rooms were very crowded when he arrived there. It was +the first great crushing party of the season, and all the world had +been collected into Portman Square. Lady de Courcy was smiling as +though her lord had no teeth, as though her eldest son's condition was +quite happy, and all things were going well with the De Courcy +interests. Lady Margaretta was there behind her, bland without and +bitter within; and Lady Rosina also, at some further distance, +reconciled to this world's vanity and finery because there was to be no +dancing. And the married daughters of the house were there also, +striving to maintain their positions on the strength of their undoubted +birth, but subjected to some snubbing by the lowness of their absolute +circumstances. Gazebee was there, happy in the absolute fact of his +connection with an earl, and blessed with the consideration that was +extended to him as an earl's son-in-law. And Crosbie, also, was in the +rooms--was present there, though he had sworn to himself that he would +no longer dance attendance on the countess, and that he would sever +himself away from the wretchedness of the family. But if he gave up +them and their ways, what else would then be left to him? He had come, +therefore, and now stood alone, sullen in a corner, telling himself +that all was vanity. Yes; to the vain all will be vanity; and to the +poor of heart all will be poor. + +Lady Dumbello was there in a small inner room, seated on a couch to +which she had been brought on her first arrival at the house, and on +which she would remain till she departed. From time to time some very +noble or very elevated personage would come before her and say a word, +and she would answer that elevated personage with another word; but +nobody had attempted with her the task of conversation. It was +understood that Lady Dumbello did not converse--unless it were +occasionally with Mr Palliser. + +She knew well that Mr Palliser was to meet her there. He had told her +expressly that he should do so, having inquired, with much solicitude, +whether she intended to obey the invitation of the countess. "I shall +probably be there," she had said, and now had determined that her +mother's letter and her husband's conduct to her should not cause her +to break her word. Should Mr Palliser "forget" himself, she would know +how to say a word to him as she had known how to say a word to her +husband. Forget himself! She was very sure that Mr Palliser had been +making up his mind to forget himself for some months past. + +He did come to her, and stood over her, looking unutterable things. His +unutterable things, however, were so looked, that they did not +absolutely demand notice from the lady. He did not sigh like a furnace, +nor open his eyes upon her as though there were two suns in the +firmament above her head, nor did he beat his breast or tear his hair. +Mr Palliser had been brought up in a school which delights in +tranquillity, and never allows its pupils to commit themselves either +to the sublime or to the ridiculous. He did look an unutterable thing +or two; but he did it with so decorous an eye, that the lady, who was +measuring it all with great accuracy, could not, as yet, declare that +Mr Palliser had "forgotten himself." + +There was room by her on the couch, and once or twice, at Hartlebury, +he had ventured so to seat himself. On the present occasion, however, +he could not do so without placing himself manifestly on her dress. She +would have known how to fill a larger couch even than that--as she would +have known, also, how to make room--had it been her mind to do so. So he +stood still over her, and she smiled at him. Such a smile! It was cold +as death, flattering no one, saying nothing, hideous in its unmeaning, +unreal grace. Ah! how I hate the smile of a woman who smiles by rote! +It made Mr Palliser feel very uncomfortable--but he did not analyse it, +and persevered. + +"Lady Dumbello," he said, and his voice was very low, "I have been +looking forward to meeting you here." + +"Have you, Mr Palliser? Yes; I remember that you asked me whether I was +coming." + +"I did. Hm--Lady Dumbello!" and he almost trenched upon the outside +verge of that schooling which had taught him to avoid both the sublime +and the ridiculous. But he had not forgotten himself as yet, and so she +smiled again. + +"Lady Dumbello, in this world in which we live, it is so hard to get a +moment in which we can speak." He had thought that she would move her +dress, but she did not. + +"Oh, I don't know," she said; "one doesn't often want to say very much, +I think." + +"Ah, no; not often, perhaps. But when one does want! How I do hate +these crowded rooms!" Yet, when he had been at Hartlebury he had +resolved that the only ground for him would be the crowded drawing-room +of some large London house. "I wonder whether you ever desire anything +beyond them?" + +"Oh, yes," said she; "but I confess that I am fond of parties." + +Mr Palliser looked round and thought that he saw that he was +unobserved. He had made up his mind as to what he would do, and he was +determined to do it. He had in him none of that readiness which enables +some men to make love and carry off their Dulcineas at a moment's +notice, but he had that pluck which would have made himself disgraceful +in his own eyes if he omitted to do that as to the doing of which he +had made a solemn resolution. He would have preferred to do it sitting, +but, faute de mieux, seeing that a seat was denied to him, he would do +it standing. + +"Griselda," he said--and it must be admitted that his tone was not bad. +The word sank softly into her ear, like small rain upon moss, and it +sank into no other ear. "Griselda!" + +"Mr Palliser!" said she--and though she made no scene, though she merely +glanced upon him once, he could see that he was wrong. + +"May I not call you so?" + +"Certainly not. Shall I ask you to see if my people are there?" He +stood a moment before her hesitating. "My carriage, I mean." As she +gave the command she glanced at him again, and then he obeyed her +orders. + +When he returned she had left her seat; but he heard her name announced +on the stairs, and caught a glance of the back of her head as she made +her way gracefully down through the crowd. He never attempted to make +love to her again, utterly disappointing the hopes of Lady de Courcy, +Mrs Proudie, and Lady Clandidlem. + +As I would wish those who are interested in Mr Palliser's fortunes to +know the ultimate result of this adventure, and as we shall not have +space to return to his affairs in this little history, I may, perhaps, +be allowed to press somewhat forward, and tell what Fortune did for him +before the close of that London season. Everybody knows that in that +spring Lady Glencora MacCluskie was brought out before the world, and +it is equally well known that she, as the only child of the late Lord +of the Isles, was the great heiress of the day. It is true that the +hereditary possession of Skye, Staffa, Mull, Arran, and Bute went, with +the title, to the Marquis of Auldreekie, together with the counties of +Caithness and Ross-shire. But the property in Fife, Aberdeen, Perth, +and Kincardineshire, comprising the greater part of those counties, and +the coal-mines in Lanark, as well as the enormous estate within the +city of Glasgow, were unentailed, and went to the Lady Glencora. She +was a fair girl, with bright blue eyes and short wavy flaxen hair, very +soft to the eye. The Lady Glencora was small in stature, and her happy +round face lacked, perhaps, the highest grace of female beauty. But +there was ever a smile upon it, at which it was very pleasant to look; +and the intense interest with which she would dance, and talk, and +follow up every amusement that was offered her, was very charming. The +horse she rode was the dearest love--oh! she loved him so dearly! And +she had a little dog that was almost as dear as the horse. The friend +of her youth, Sabrina Scott, was--oh, such a girl! And her cousin, the +little Lord of the Isles, the heir of the marquis, was so gracious and +beautiful that she was always covering him with kisses. Unfortunately +he was only six, so that there was hardly a possibility that the +properties should be brought together. + +But Lady Glencora, though she was so charming, had even in this, her +first outset upon the world, given great uneasiness to her friends, and +caused the Marquis of Auldreekie to be almost wild with dismay. There +was a terribly handsome man about town, who had spent every shilling +that anybody would give him, who was very fond of brandy, who was +known, but not trusted, at Newmarket, who was said to be deep in every +vice, whose father would not speak to him--and with him the Lady +Glencora was never tired of dancing. One morning she had told her +cousin the marquis, with a flashing eye--for the round blue eye could +flash--that Burgo Fitzgerald was more sinned against than sinning. Ah +me! what was a guardian marquis, anxious for the fate of the family +property, to do under such circumstances as that? + +But before the end of the season the marquis and the duke were both +happy men, and we will hope that the Lady Glencora also was satisfied. +Mr Plantagenet Palliser had danced with her twice, and had spoken his +mind. He had an interview with the marquis, which was preeminently +satisfactory, and everything was settled. Glencora no doubt told him +how she had accepted that plain gold ring from Burgo Fitzgerald, and +how she had restored it; but I doubt whether she ever told him of that +wavy lock of golden hair which Burgo still keeps in his receptacle for +such treasures. + +"Plantagenet," said the duke, with quite unaccustomed warmth, "in this, +as in all things, you have shown yourself to be everything that I could +desire. I have told the marquis that Matching Priory, with the whole +estate, should be given over to you at once. It is the most comfortable +country-house I know. Glencora shall have The Horns as her wedding +present." + +But the genial, frank delight of Mr Fothergill pleased Mr Palliser the +most. The heir of the Pallisers had done his duty, and Mr Fothergill +was unfeignedly a happy man. + + + +CHAPTER LVI + +SHOWING HOW MR CROSBIE BECAME AGAIN A HAPPY MAN + +It has been told in the last chapter how Lady de Courcy gave a great +party in London in the latter days of April, and it may therefore be +thought that things were going well with the De Courcys; but I fear the +inference would be untrue. At any rate, things were not going well with +Lady Alexandrina, for she, on her mother's first arrival in town, had +rushed to Portman Square with a long tale of her sufferings. + +"Oh, mamma! you would not believe it; but he hardly ever speaks to me." + +"My dear, there are worse faults in a man than that." + +"I am alone there all the day. I never get out. He never offers to get +me a carriage. He asked me to walk with him once last week, when it was +raining. I saw that he waited till the rain began. Only think, I have +not been out three evenings this month--except to Amelia's; and now he +says he won't go there any more, because a fly is so expensive. You +can't believe how uncomfortable the house is." + +"I thought you chose it, my dear." + +"I looked at it, but, of course, I didn't know what a house ought to +be. Amelia said it wasn't nice, but he would have it. He hates Amelia. +I'm sure of that, for he says everything he can to snub her and Mr +Gazebee. Mr Gazebee is as good as he, at any rate. What do you think? +He has given Richard warning to go. You never saw him, but he was a +very good servant. He has given him warning, and he is not talking of +getting another man. I won't live with him without somebody to wait +upon me." + +"My dearest girl, do not think of such a thing as leaving him." + +"But I will think of it, mamma. You do not know what my life is in that +house. He never speaks to me--never. He comes home before dinner at +half-past six, and when he has just shown himself he goes to his +dressing-room. He is always silent at dinner-time, and after dinner he +goes to sleep. He breakfasts always at nine, and goes away at half-past +nine, though I know he does not get to his office till eleven. If I +want anything, he says that it cannot be afforded. I never thought +before that he was stingy, but I am sure now that he must he a miser at +heart." + +"It is better so than a spendthrift, Alexandrina." + +"I don't know that it is better. He could not make me more unhappy than +I am. Unhappy is no word for it. What can I do, shut up in such a house +as that by myself from nine o'clock in the morning till six in the +evening? Everybody knows what he is, so that nobody will come to see +me. I tell you fairly, mamma, I will not stand it. If you cannot help +me, I will look for help elsewhere." + +It may, at any rate, be said that things were not going well with that +branch of the De Courcy family. Nor, indeed, was it going well with +some other branches. Lord Porlock had married, not having selected his +partner for life from the choicest cream of the aristocratic circles, +and his mother, while endeavouring to say a word in his favour, had +been so abused by the earl that she had been driven to declare that she +could no longer endure such usage. She had come up to London in direct +opposition to his commands, while he was fastened to his room by gout; +and had given her party in defiance of him, so that people should not +say, when her back was turned, that she had slunk away in despair. + +"I have borne it," she said to Margaretta, "longer than any other woman +in England would have done. While I thought that any of you would +marry--" + +"Oh, don't talk of that, mamma," said Margaretta, putting a little +scorn into her voice. She had not been quite pleased that even her +mother should intimate that all her chance was over, and yet she +herself had often told her mother that she had given up all thought of +marrying. + +"Rosina will go to Amelia's," the countess continued; "Mr Gazebee is +quite satisfied that it should be so, and he will take care that she +shall have enough to cover her own expenses. I propose that you and I, +dear, shall go to Baden-Baden." + +"And about money, mamma?" + +"Mr Gazebee must manage it. In spite of all that your father says, I +know that there must be money. The expense will be much less so than in +our present way." + +"And what will papa do himself?" + +"I cannot help it, my dear. No one knows what I have had to bear. +Another year of it would kill me. His language has become worse and +worse, and I fear every day that he is going to strike me with his +crutch." + +Under all these circumstances it cannot be said that the De Courcy +interests were prospering. + +But Lady de Courcy, when she had made up her mind to go to Baden-Baden, +had by no means intended to take her youngest daughter with her. She +had endured for years, and now Alexandrina was unable to endure for six +months. Her chief grievance, moreover, was this--that her husband was +silent. The mother felt that no woman had a right to complain much of +any such sorrow as that. If her earl had sinned only in that way, she +would have been content to have remained by him till the last! + +And yet I do not know whether Alexandrina's life was not quite as hard +as that of her mother. She barely exceeded the truth when she said that +he never spoke to her. The hours with her in her new comfortless house +were very long--very long and very tedious. Marriage with her had by no +means been the thing that she had expected. At home, with her mother, +there had always been people around her, but they had not always been +such as she herself would have chosen for her companions. She had +thought that, when married, she could choose and have those about her +who were congenial to her: but she found that none came to her. Her +sister, who was a wiser woman than she, had begun her married life with +a definite idea, and had carried it out; but this poor creature found +herself, as it were, stranded. When once she had conceived it in her +heart to feel anger against her husband--and she had done so before they +had been a week together--there was no love to bring her back to him +again. She did not know that it behoved her to look pleased when he +entered the room, and to make him at any rate think that his presence +gave her happiness. She became gloomy before she reached her new house, +and never laid her gloom aside. He would have made a struggle for some +domestic comfort, had any seemed to be within his reach. As it was, he +struggled for domestic propriety, believing that he might so best +bolster up his present lot in life. But the task became harder and +harder to him, and the gloom became denser and more dense. He did not +think of her unhappiness, but of his own; as she did not think of his +tedium, but of hers. "If this be domestic felicity!" he would say to +himself, as he sat in his arm-chair, striving to fix his attention upon +a book. + +"If this be the happiness of married life!" she thought, as she +remained listless, without even the pretence of a book, behind her +teacups. In truth she would not walk with him, not caring for such +exercise round the pavement of a London square; and he had resolutely +determined that she should not run into debt for carriage hire. He was +not a curmudgeon with his money; he was no miser. But he had found that +in marrying an earl's daughter he had made himself a poor man, and he +was resolved that he would not also be an embarrassed man. + +When the bride heard that her mother and sister were about to escape to +Baden-Baden, there rushed upon her a sudden hope that she might be able +to accompany the flight. She would not be parted from her husband, or +at least not so parted that the world should suppose that they had +quarrelled. She would simply go away and make a long visit--a very long +visit. Two years ago a sojourn with her mother and Margaretta at +Baden-Baden would not have offered to her much that was attractive; but +now, in her eyes, such a life seemed to be a life in Paradise. In +truth, the tedium of those hours in Princess Royal Crescent had been +very heavy. + +But how could she contrive that it should be so? That conversation with +her mother had taken place on the day preceding the party, and Lady de +Courcy had repeated it with dismay to Margaretta. + +"Of course he would allow her an income," Margaretta had coolly said. + +"But, my dear, they have been married only ten weeks." + +"I don't see why anybody is to be made absolutely wretched because they +are married," Margaretta answered. "I don't want to persuade her to +leave him, but if what she says is true, it must be very uncomfortable." + +Crosbie had consented to go to the party in Portman Square, but had not +greatly enjoyed himself on that festive occasion. He had stood about +moodily, speaking hardly a word to any one. His whole aspect of life +seemed to have been altered during the last few months. It was here, in +such spots as this that he had been used to find his glory. On such +occasions he had shone with peculiar light, making envious the hearts +of many who watched the brilliance of his career as they stood around +in dull quiescence. But now no one in those rooms had been more dull, +more silent, or less courted than he; and yet he was established there +as the son-in-law of that noble house. "Rather slow work; isn't it?" +Gazebee had said to him, having, after many efforts, succeeded in +reaching his brother-in-law in a corner. In answer to this Crosbie had +only grunted. "As for myself," continued Gazebee, "I would a deal +sooner be at home with my paper and slippers. It seems to me these sort +of gatherings don't suit married men." Crosbie had again grunted, and +had then escaped into another corner. + +Crosbie and his wife went home together in a cab--speechless both of +them. Alexandrina hated cabs--but she had been plainly told that in such +vehicles, and in such vehicles only, could she be allowed to travel. On +the following morning he was at the breakfast-table punctually by nine, +but she did not make her appearance till after he had gone to his +office. Soon after that, however, she was away to her mother and her +sister; but she was seated grimly in her drawing-room when he came in +to see her, on his return to his house. Having said some word which +might be taken for a greeting, he was about to retire; but she stopped +him with a request that he would speak to her. + +"Certainly," said he. "I was only going to dress. It is nearly the +half-hour." + +"I won't keep you very long, and if dinner is a few minutes late it +won't signify. Mamma and Margaretta are going to Baden-Baden." + +"To Baden-Baden, are they?" + +"Yes; and they intend to remain there--for a considerable time." There +was a little pause, and Alexandrina found it necessary to clear her +voice and to prepare herself for further speech by a little cough. She +was determined to make her proposition, but was rather afraid of the +manner in which it might be first received. + +"Has anything happened at Courcy Castle?" Crosbie asked. + +"No; that is, yes; there may have been some words between papa and +mamma; but I don't quite know. That, however, does not matter now. +Mamma is going, and purposes to remain there for the rest of the year." + +"And the house in town will be given up." + +"I suppose so, but that will be as papa chooses. Have you any objection +to my going with mamma?" + +What a question to be asked by a bride of ten weeks standing! She had +hardly been above a month with her husband in her new house, and she +was now asking permission to leave it, and to leave him also, for an +indefinite number of months--perhaps for ever. But she showed no +excitement as she made her request. There was neither sorrow, nor +regret, nor hope in her face. She had not put on half the animation +which she had once assumed in asking for the use, twice a week, of a +carriage done up to look as though it were her own private possession. +Crosbie had then answered her with great sternness, and she had wept +when his refusal was made certain to her. But there was to be no +weeping now. She meant to go--with his permission if he would accord it, +and without it if he should refuse it. The question of money was no +doubt important, but Gazebee should manage that--as he managed all those +things. + +"Going with them to Baden-Baden?" said Crosbie. "For how long?" + +"Well: it would be no use unless it were for some time." + +"For how long a time do you mean, Alexandrina? Speak out what you +really have to say. For a month?" + +"Oh, more than that." + +"For two months, or six, or as long as they may stay there?" + +"We could settle that afterwards, when I am there." During all this +time she did not once look into his face, though he was looking hard at +her throughout. + +"You mean," said he, "that you wish to go away from me." + +"In one sense it would be going away, certainly." + +"But in the ordinary sense? is it not so? When you talk of going to +Baden-Baden for an unlimited number of months, have you any idea of +coming back again?" + +"Back to London, you mean?" + +"Back to me--to my house--to your duties as a wife! Why cannot you say at +once what it is you want? You wish to be separated from me?" + +"I am not happy here--in this house." + +"And who chose the house? Did I want to come here? But it is not that. +If you are not happy here, what could you have in any other house to +make you happy?" + +"If you were left alone in this room for seven or eight hours at a +time, without a soul to come to you, you would know what I mean. And +even after that, it is not much better. You never speak to me when you +are here." + +"Is it my fault that nobody comes to you? The fact is, Alexandrina, +that you will not reconcile yourself to the manner of life which is +suitable to my income. You are wretched because you cannot have +yourself driven round the Park. I cannot find you a carriage, and will +not attempt to do so. You may go to Baden-Baden, if you please--that is, +if your mother is willing to take you." + +"Of course I must pay my own expenses," said Alexandrina. But to this +he made no answer on the moment. As soon as he had given his permission +he had risen from his seat and was going, and her last words only +caught him in the doorway. After all, would not this be the cheapest +arrangement that he could make? As he went through his calculations he +stood up with his elbow on the mantelpiece in his dressing-room. He had +scolded his wife because she had been unhappy with him; but had he not +been quite as unhappy with her? Would it not be better that they should +part in this quiet, half-unnoticed way--that they should part and never +again come together? He was lucky in this, that hitherto had come upon +them no prospect of any little Crosbie to mar the advantages of such an +arrangement. If he gave her four hundred a year, and allowed Gazebee +two more towards the paying off of encumbrances, he would still have +six on which to enjoy himself in London. Of course he could not live as +he had lived in those happy days before his marriage, nor, +independently of the cost, would such a mode of life be within his +reach. But he might go to his club for his dinners; he might smoke his +cigar in luxury; he would not be bound to that wooden home which, in +spite of all his resolutions, had become almost unendurable to him. So +he made his calculations, and found that it would be well that his +bride should go. He would give over his house and furniture to Gazebee, +allowing Gazebee to do as he would about that. To be once more a +bachelor, in lodgings, with six hundred a year to spend on himself, +seemed to him now such a prospect of happiness that he almost became +light-hearted as he dressed himself. He would let her go to Baden Baden. + +There was nothing said about it at dinner, nor did he mention the +subject again till the servant had left the tea-things on the +drawing-room table. "You can go with your mother if you like it," he +then said. + +"I think it will be best," she answered. + +"Perhaps it will. At any rate you shall suit yourself." + +"And about money?" + +"You had better leave me to speak to Gazebee about that." + +"Very well. Will you have some tea?" And then the whole thing was +finished. + +On the next day she went after lunch to her mother's house, and never +came back again to Princess Royal Crescent. During that morning she +packed up those things which she cared to pack herself, and sent her +sisters there, with an old family servant, to bring away whatever else +might be supposed to belong to her. "Dear, dear," said Amelia, "what +trouble I had in getting these things together for them, and only the +other day. I can't but think she's wrong to go away." + +"I don't know," said Margaretta. "She has not been so lucky as you have +in the man she has married. I always felt that she would find it +difficult to manage him." + +"But, my dear, she has not tried. She has given up at once. It isn't +management that was wanting. The fact is that when Alexandrina began +she didn't make up her mind to the kind of thing she was coming to. I +did. I knew it wasn't to be all party-going and that sort of thing. But +I must own that Crosbie isn't the same sort of man as Mortimer. I don't +think I could have gone on with him. You might as well have those small +books put up; he won't care about them." And in this way Crosbie's +house was dismantled. + +She saw him no more, for he made no farewell visit to the house in +Portman Square. A note had been brought to him at his office: "I am +here with mamma, and may as well say good-bye now. We start on Tuesday. +If you wish to write, you can send your letters to the housekeeper +here. I hope you will make yourself comfortable, and that you will be +well. Yours affectionately, A. C." He made no answer to it, but went +that day and dined at his club. + +"I haven't seen you this age," said Montgomerie Dobbs. + +"No. My wife is going abroad with her mother, and while she is away I +shall come back here again." + +There was nothing more said to him, and no one ever made any inquiry +about his domestic affairs. It seemed to him now as though he had no +friend sufficiently intimate with him to ask him after his wife or +family. She was gone, and in a month's time he found himself again in +Mount Street--beginning the world with five hundred a year, not six. For +Mr Gazebee, when the reckoning came, showed him that a larger income at +the present moment was not possible for him. The countess had for a +long time refused to let Lady Alexandrina go with her on so small a +pittance as four hundred and fifty--and then were there not the +insurances to be maintained? + +But I think he would have consented to accept his liberty with three +hundred a year--so great to him was the relief. + + + +CHAPTER LVII + +LILIAN DALE VANQUISHES HER MOTHER + +Mrs Dale had been present during the interview in which John Eames had +made his prayer to her daughter, but she had said little or nothing on +that occasion. All her wishes had been in favour of the suitor, but she +had not dared to express them, neither had she dared to leave the room. +It had been hard upon him to be thus forced to declare his love in the +presence of a third person, but he had done it, and had gone away with +his answer. Then, when the thing was over, Lily, without any communion +with her mother, took herself off, and was no more seen till the +evening hours had come on, in which it was natural that they should be +together again. + +Mrs Dale, when thus alone, had been able to think of nothing but this +new suit for her daughter's hand. If only it might be accomplished! If +any words from her to Lily might be efficacious to such an end! And +yet, hitherto, she had been afraid almost to utter a word. + +She knew that it was very difficult. She declared to herself over and +over that he had come too soon--that the attempt had been made too +quickly after that other shipwreck. How was it possible that the ship +should put to sea again at once, with all her timbers so rudely +strained? And yet, now that the attempt had been made, now that Eames +had uttered his request and been sent away with an answer, she felt +that she must at once speak to Lily on the subject, if ever she were to +speak upon it. She thought that she understood her child and all her +feelings. She recognised the violence of the shock which must be +encountered before Lily could be brought to acknowledge such a change +in her heart. But if the thing could be done, Lily would be a happy +woman. When once done it would be in all respects a blessing. And if it +were not done, might not Lily's life be blank, lonely, and loveless to +the end? Yet when Lily came down in the evening, with some light, +half-joking word on her lips, as was usual to her, Mrs Dale was still +afraid to venture upon her task. + +"I suppose, mamma, we may consider it as a settled thing that +everything must be again unpacked, and that the lodging scheme will be +given up." + +"I don't know that, my dear." + +"Oh, but I do--after what you said just now. What geese everybody will +think us!" + +"I shouldn't care a bit for that, if we didn't think ourselves geese, +or if your uncle did not think us so." + +"I believe he would think we were swans. If I had ever thought he would +be so much in earnest about it, or that he would ever have cared about +our being here, I would never have voted for going. But he is so +strange. He is affectionate when he ought to be angry, and ill-natured +when he ought to be gentle and kind." + +"He has, at any rate, given us reason to feel sure of his affection." + +"For us girls, I never doubted it. But, mamma, I don't think I could +face Mrs Boyce. Mrs Hearn and Mrs Crump would be very bad, and Hopkins +would come down upon us terribly when he found that we had given way. +But Mrs Boyce would be worse than any of them. Can't you fancy the tone +of her congratulations?" + +"I think I should survive Mrs Boyce." + +"Ah, yes; because we should have to go and tell her. I know your +cowardice of old, mamma; don't I? And Bell wouldn't care a bit, because +of her lover. Mrs Boyce will be nothing to her. It is I that must bear +it all. Well, I don't mind; I'll vote for staying if you will promise +to be happy here. Oh, mamma, I'll vote for anything if you will be +happy." + +"And will you be happy?" + +"Yes, as happy as the day is long. Only I know we shall never see Bell. +People never do see each other when they live just at that distance. +It's too near for long visits, and too far for short visits. I'll tell +you what; we might make arrangements each to walk half-way, and meet at +the corner of Lord de Guest's wood. I wonder whether they'd let us put +up a seat there. I think we might have a little house and carry +sandwiches and a bottle of beer. Couldn't we see something of each +other in that way?" + +Thus it came to be the fixed idea of both of them that they would +abandon their plan of migrating to Guestwick, and on this subject they +continued to talk over their tea-table; but on that evening Mrs Dale +ventured to say nothing about John Eames. + +But they did not even yet dare to commence the work of reconstructing +their old home. Bell must come back before they would do that, and the +express assent of the squire must be formally obtained. Mrs Dale must, +in a degree, acknowledge herself to have been wrong, and ask to be +forgiven for her contumacy. + +"I suppose the three of us had better go up in sackcloth, and throw +ashes on our foreheads as we meet Hopkins in the garden," said Lily, +"and then I know he'll heap coals of fire on our heads by sending us an +early dish of peas. And Dingles would bring us in a pheasant, only that +pheasants don't grow in May." + +"If the sackcloth doesn't take an unpleasanter shape than that, I +shan't mind it." + +"That's because you've got no delicate feelings. And then Uncle +Christopher's gratitude!" + +"Ah! I shall feel that." + +"But, mamma, we'll wait till Bell comes home. She shall decide. She is +going away, and therefore she'll be free from prejudice. If uncle +offers to paint the house--and I know he will-then I shall be humbled to +the dust." + +But yet Mrs Dale had said nothing on the subject which was nearest to +her heart. When Lily in pleasantry had accused her of cowardice, her +mind had instantly gone off to that other matter, and she had told +herself that she was a coward. Why should she be afraid of offering her +counsel to her own child? It seemed to her as though she had neglected +some duty in allowing Crosbie's conduct to have passed away without +hardly a word of comment on it between herself and Lily. Should she not +have forced upon her daughter's conviction the fact that Crosbie had +been a villain, and as such should be discarded from her heart? As it +was, Lily had spoken the simple truth when she told John Eames that she +was dealing more openly with him on that affair of her engagement than +she had ever dealt, even with her mother. Thinking of this as she sat +in her own room that night, before she allowed herself to rest, Mrs +Dale resolved that on the next morning she would endeavour to make Lily +see as she saw and think as she thought. + +She let breakfast pass by before she began her task, and even then she +did not rush at it at once. Lily sat herself down to her work when the +teacups were taken away, and Mrs Dale went down to her kitchen as was +her wont. It was nearly eleven before she seated herself in the +parlour, and even then she got her work-box before her and took out her +needle. + +"I wonder how Bell gets on with Lady Julia," said Lily. + +"Very well, I'm sure." + +"Lady Julia won't bite her, I know, and I suppose her dismay at the +tall footmen has passed off by this time." + +"I don't know that they have any tall footmen." + +"Short footmen then--you know what I mean; all the noble belongings. +They must startle one at first, I'm sure, let one determine ever so +much not to be startled. It's a very mean thing, no doubt, to be afraid +of a lord merely because he is a lord; yet I'm sure I should be afraid +at first, even of Lord de Guest, if I were staying in the house." + +"It's well you didn't go then." + +"Yes, I think it is. Bell is of a firmer mind, and I dare say she'll +get over it after the first day. But what on earth does she do there? I +wonder whether they mend their stockings in such a house as that." + +"Not in public, I should think." + +"In very grand houses they throw them away at once, I suppose. I've +often thought about it. Do you believe the Prime Minister ever has his +shoes sent to a cobbler? + +"Perhaps a regular shoemaker will condescend to mend a Prime Minister's +shoes." + +"You do think they are mended then? But who orders it? Does he see +himself when there's a little hole coming, as I do? Does an archbishop +allow himself so many pairs of gloves in a year?" + +"Not very strictly, I should think." + +"Then I suppose it comes to this, that he has a new pair whenever he +wants them. But what constitutes the want? Does he ever say to himself +that they'll do for another Sunday? I remember the bishop coming here +once, and he had a hole at the end of his thumb. I was going to be +confirmed, and I remember thinking that he ought to have been smarter." + +"Why didn't you offer to mend it?" + +"I shouldn't have dared for all the world." + +The conversation had commenced itself in a manner that did not promise +much assistance to Mrs Dale's project. When Lily got upon any subject, +she was not easily induced to leave it, and when her mind had twisted +itself in one direction, it was difficult to untwist it. She was now +bent on a consideration of the smaller social habits of the high and +mighty among us, and was asking her mother whether she supposed that +the royal children ever carried halfpence in their pockets, or +descended so low as fourpenny-bits. + +"I suppose they have pockets like other children," said Lily. But her +mother stopped her suddenly--"Lily, dear, I want to say something to you +about John Eames." + +"Mamma, I'd sooner talk about the Royal Family just at present." + +"But, dear, you must forgive me if I persist. I have thought much about +it, and I'm sure you will not oppose me when I am doing what I think to +be my duty." + +"No, mamma; I won't oppose you, certainly." + +"Since Mr Crosbie's conduct was made known to you, I have mentioned his +name in your hearing very seldom." + +"No, mamma, you have not. And I have loved you so dearly for your +goodness to me. Do not think that I have not understood and known how +generous you have been. No other mother ever was so good as you have +been. I have known it all, and thought of it every day of my life, and +thanked you in my heart for your trusting silence. Of course, I +understand your feelings. You think him bad and you hate him for what +he has done." + +"I would not willingly hate any one, Lily." + +"Ah, but you do hate him. If I were you, I should hate him; but I am +not you, and I love him. I pray for his happiness every night and +morning, and for hers. I have forgiven him altogether, and I think that +he was right. When I am old enough to do so without being wrong, I will +go to him and tell him so. I should like to hear of all his doings and +all his success, if it were only possible. How, then, can you and I +talk about him? It is impossible. You have been silent and I have been +silent--let us remain silent." + +"It is not about Mr Crosbie that I wish to speak. But I think you ought +to understand that conduct such as his will be rebuked by all the +world. You may forgive him, but you should acknowledge--" + +"Mamma, I don't want to acknowledge anything--not about him. There are +things as to which a person cannot argue." Mrs Dale felt that this +present matter was one as to which she could not argue. "Of course, +mamma," continued Lily, "I don't want to oppose you in anything, but I +think we had better be silent about this." + +"Of course I am thinking only of your future happiness." + +"I know you are; but pray believe me that you need not be alarmed. I do +not mean to be unhappy. Indeed, I think I may say I am not unhappy; of +course I have been unhappy--very unhappy. I did think that my heart +would break. But that has passed away, and I believe I can be as happy +as my neighbours. We're all of us sure to have some troubles, as you +used to tell us when we were children." + +Mrs Dale felt that she had begun wrong, and that she would have been +able to make better progress had she omitted all mention of Crosbie's +name. She knew exactly what it was that she wished to say--what were the +arguments which she desired to expound before her daughter; but she did +not know what language to use, or how she might best put her thoughts +into words. She paused for a while, and Lily went on with her work as +though the conversation was over. But the conversation was not over. + +"It was about John Eames, and not about Mr Crosbie, that I wished to +speak to you." + +"Oh, mamma!" + +"My dear, you must not hinder me in doing what I think to be a duty. I +heard what he said to you and what you replied, and of course I cannot +but have my mind full of the subject. Why should you set yourself +against him in so fixed a manner?" + +"Because I love another man." These words she spoke out loud, in a +steady, almost dogged tone, with a certain show of audacity--as though +aware that the declaration was unseemly, but resolved that, though +unseemly, it must be made. + +"But, Lily, that love, from its very nature, must cease; or, rather, +such love is not the same as that you felt when you thought that you +were to be his wife." + +"Yes, it is. If she died, and he came to me in five years time, I would +still take him. I should think myself constrained to take him." + +"But she is not dead, nor likely to die." + +"That makes no difference. You don't understand me, mamma." + +"I think I do, and I want you to understand me also. I know how +difficult is your position; I know what your feelings are; but I know +this also, that if you could reason with yourself, and bring yourself +in time to receive John Eames as a dear friend--" + +"I did receive him as a dear friend. Why not? He is a dear friend. I +love him heartily--as you do." + +"You know what I mean?" + +"Yes, I do; and I tell you it is impossible." + +"If you would make the attempt, all this misery would soon be +forgotten. If once you could bring yourself to regard him as a friend, +who might become your husband, all this would be changed--and I should +see you happy!" + +"You are strangely anxious to be rid of me, mamma!" + +"Yes, Lily--to be rid of you in that way. If I could see you put your +hand in his as his promised wife, I think that I should be the happiest +woman in the world." + +"Mamma, I cannot make you happy in that way. If you really understood +my feelings, my doing as you propose would make you very unhappy. I +should commit a great sin--the sin against which women should be more +guarded than against any other. In my heart I am married to that other +man. I gave myself to him, and loved him, and rejoiced in his love. +When he kissed me I kissed him again, and I longed for his kisses. I +seemed to live only that he might caress me. All that time I never felt +myself to be wrong--because he was all in all to me. I was his own. That +has been changed--to my great misfortune; but it cannot be undone or +forgotten. I cannot be the girl I was before he came here. There are +things that will not have themselves buried and put out of sight, as +though they had never been. I am as you are, mamma-widowed. But you +have your daughter, and I have my mother. If you will be contented, so +will I." Then she got up and threw herself on her mother's neck. + +Mrs Dale's argument was over now. To such an appeal as that last made +by Lily no rejoinder on her part was possible. After that she was +driven to acknowledge to herself that she must be silent. Years as they +rolled on might make a change, but no reasoning could be of avail. She +embraced her daughter, weeping over her--whereas Lily's eyes were dry. +"It shall be as you will," Mrs Dale murmured. + +"Yes, as I will. I shall have my own way; shall I not? That is all I +want; to be a tyrant over you, and make you do my bidding in +everything, as a well-behaved mother should do. But I won't be stern in +my orderings. If you will only be obedient, I will be so gracious to +you! There's Hopkins again. I wonder whether he has come to knock us +down and trample upon us with another speech." + +Hopkins knew very well to which window he must come, as only one of the +rooms was at the present time habitable. He came up to the dining-room, +and almost flattened his nose against the glass. + +"Well, Hopkins," said Lily, "here we are." Mrs Dale had turned her face +away, for she knew that the tears were still on her cheek. + +"Yes, miss, I see you. I want to speak to your mamma, miss." + +"Come round," said Lily, anxious to spare her mother the necessity of +showing herself at once. "It's too cold to open the window; come round, +and I'll open the door." + +"Too cold!" muttered Hopkins, as he went. "They'll find it a deal +colder in lodgings at Guestwick." However, he went round through the +kitchen, and Lily met him in the hall. + +"Well, Hopkins, what is it? Mamma has got a headache." + +"Got a headache, has she? I won't make her headache no worse. It's my +opinion that there's nothing for a headache so good as fresh air. Only +some people can't abear to be blowed upon, not for a minute. If you +don't let down the lights in a greenhouse more or less every day, +you'll never get any plants--never--and it's just the same with the +grapes. Is I to go back and say as how I couldn't see her?" + +"You can come in if you like; only be quiet, you know." + +"Ain't I ollays quiet, miss? Did anybody ever hear me rampage? If you +please, ma'am, the squire's come home.' + +"What, home from Guestwick? Has he brought Miss Bell? + +"He ain't brought none but hisself, cause he come on horseback; and +it's my belief he's going back almost immediate. But he wants you to +come to him, Mrs Dale." + +"Oh, yes, I'll come at once." + +"He bade me say with his kind love. I don't know whether that makes any +difference." + +"At any rate, I'll come, Hopkins." + +"And I ain't to say nothing about the headache?" + +"About what? "said Mrs Dale. + +"No, no, no," said Lily. "Mamma will be there at once. Go and tell my +uncle, there's a good man," and she put up her hand and backed him out +of the room. + +"I don't believe she's got no headache at all," said Hopkins, +grumbling, as he returned through the back premises. "What lies +gentlefolks do tell! If I said I'd a headache when I ought to be out +among the things, what would they say to me? But a poor man mustn't +never lie, nor yet drink, nor yet do nothing." And so he went back with +his message. + +"What can have brought your uncle home? "said Mrs Dale. + +"Just to look after the cattle, and to see that the pigs are not all +dead. My wonder is that he should ever have gone away." + +"I must go up to him at once." + +"Oh, yes, of course." + +"And what shall I say about the house?" + +"It's not about that--at least I think not. I don't think he'll speak +about that again till you speak to him." + +"But if he does?" + +"You must put your trust in Providence. Declare you've got a bad +headache, as I told Hopkins just now; only you would throw me over by +not understanding. I'll walk with you down to the bridge." So they went +off together across the lawn. + +But Lily was soon left alone, and continued her walk, waiting for her +mother's return. As she went round and round the gravel paths, she +thought of the words that she had said to her mother. She had declared +that she also was widowed. "And so it should be," she said, debating +the matter with herself. + +"What can a heart be worth if it can be transferred hither and thither +as circumstances and convenience and comfort may require? When he held +me here in his arms"--and, as the thoughts ran through her brain, she +remembered the very spot on which they had stood--"oh, my love!" she had +said to him then as she returned his kisses--"oh, my love, my love, my +love!" "When he held me here in his arms, I told myself that it was +right, because he was my husband. He has changed, but I have not. It +might be that I should have ceased to love him, and then I should have +told him so. I should have done as he did." But, as she came to this, +she shuddered, thinking of the Lady Alexandrina. "It was very quick," +she said, still speaking to herself; "very, very. But then men are not +the same as women." And she walked on eagerly, hardly remembering where +she was, thinking over it all, as she did daily; remembering every +little thought and word of those few eventful months in which she had +learned to regard Crosbie as her husband and master. She had declared +that she had conquered her unhappiness; but there were moments in which +she was almost wild with misery. "Tell me to forget him!" she said. "It +is the one thing which will never be forgotten." + +At last she heard her mother's step coming down across the squire's +garden, and she took up her post at the bridge. + +"Stand and deliver," she said, as her mother put her foot upon the +plank. "That is, if you've got anything worth delivering. Is anything +settled?" + +"Come up to the house," said Mrs Dale, "and I'll tell you all." + + + +CHAPTER LVIII + +THE FATE OF THE SMALL HOUSE + +There was something in the tone of Mrs Dale's voice, as she desired her +daughter to come up to the house, and declared that her budget of news +should be opened there, which at once silenced Lily's assumed +pleasantry. Her mother had been away fully two hours, during which Lily +had still continued her walk round the garden, till at last she had +become impatient for her mother's footstep. Something serious must have +been said between her uncle and her mother during those long two hours. +The interviews to which Mrs Dale was occasionally summoned at the Great +House did not usually exceed twenty minutes, and the upshot would be +communicated to the girls in a turn or two round the garden; but in the +present instance Mrs Dale positively declined to speak till she was +seated within the house. + +"Did he come over on purpose to see you, mamma?" + +"Yes, my dear, I believe so. He wished to see you, too; but I asked his +permission to postpone that till after I had talked to you." + +"To see me, mamma? About what?" + +"To kiss you, and bid you love him; solely for that. He has not a word +to say to you that will vex you." + +"Then I will kiss him, and love him, too." + +"Yes, you will when I have told you all. I have promised him solemnly +to give up all idea of going to Guestwick. So that is over." + +"Oh, oh! And we may begin to unpack at once? What an episode in one's +life!" + +"We may certainly unpack, for I have pledged myself to him; and he is +to go into Guestwick himself and arrange about the lodgings." + +"Does Hopkins know it?" + +"I should think not yet." + +"Nor Mrs Boyce! Mamma, I don't believe I shall be able to survive this +next week. We shall look such fools! I'll tell you what we'll do--it +will be the only comfort I can have--we'll go to work and get everything +back into its place before Bell comes home, so as to surprise her." + +"What! in two days?" + +"Why not? I'll make Hopkins come and help, and then he'll not be so +bad. I'll begin at once and go to the blankets and beds, because I can +undo them myself." + +"But I haven't half told you all; and, indeed, I don't know how to make +you understand what passed between us. He is very unhappy about +Bernard; Bernard has determined to go abroad, and may be away for +years." + +"One can hardly blame a man for following up his profession." + +"There was no blaming. He only said that it was very sad for him that, +in his old age, he should be left alone. This was before there was any +talk about our remaining. Indeed he seemed determined not to ask that +again as a favour. I could see that in his eye, and I understood it +from his tone. He went on to speak of you and Bell, saying how well he +loved you both; but that, unfortunately, his hopes regarding you had +not been fulfilled." + +"Ah, but he shouldn't have had hopes of that sort." + +"Listen, my dear, and I think that you will not feel angry with him. He +said that he felt his house had never been pleasant to you. Then there +followed words which I could not repeat, even if I could remember them. +He said much about myself, regretting that the feeling between us had +not been more kindly. But my heart, he said, has ever been kinder than +my words. Then I got up from where I was seated, and going over to him, +I told him that we would remain here." + +"And what did he say?" + +"I don't know what he said. I know that I was crying, and that he +kissed me. It was the first time in his life. I know that he was +pleased--beyond measure pleased. After a while he became animated, and +talked of doing ever so many things. He promised that very painting of +which you spoke." + +"Ah, yes, I knew it; and Hopkins will be here with the peas before +dinner-time to-morrow, and Dingles with his shoulders smothered with +rabbits. And then Mrs Boyce! Mamma, he didn't think of Mrs Boyce; or, +in very charity of heart, he would still have maintained his sadness." + +"Then he did not think of her; for when I left him he was not at all +sad. But I haven't told you half yet." + +"Dear me, mamma; was there more than that?" + +"And I've told it all wrong; for what I've got to tell now was said +before a word was spoken about the house. He brought it in just after +what he said about Bernard. He said that Bernard would, of course, be +his heir." + +"Of course he will." + +"And that he should think it wrong to encumber the property with any +charges for you girls." + +"Mamma, did any one ever--" + +"Stop, Lily, stop; and make your heart kinder towards him if you can." + +"It is kind; only I hate to be told that I'm not to have a lot of +money, as though I had ever shown a desire for it. I have never envied +Bernard his man-servant, or his maid-servant, or his ox, or his ass, or +anything that is his. To tell the truth I didn't even wish it to be +Bell's, because I knew well that there was somebody she would like a +great deal better than ever she could like Bernard." + +"I shall never get to the end of my story." + +"Yes, you will, mamma, if you persevere." + +"The long and the short of it is this, that he has given Bell three +thousand pounds, and has given you three thousand also." + +"But why me, mamma?" said Lily, and the colour of her cheeks became red +as she spoke. There should if possible be nothing more said about John +Eames; but whatever might or might not be the necessity of speaking, at +any rate, let there be no mistake. + +"But why me, mamma?" + +"Because, as he explained to me, he thinks it right to do the same by +each of you. The money is yours at this moment--to buy hair-pins with, +if you please. I had no idea that he could command so large a sum." + +"Three thousand pounds! The last money he gave me was half-a-crown, and +I thought that he was so stingy! I particularly wanted ten shillings. I +should have liked it so much better now if he had given me a nice new +five-pound note." + +"You'd better tell him so." + +"No; because then he'd give me that too. But with five pounds I should +have the feeling that I might do what I liked with it--buy a +dressing-case, and a thing for a squirrel to run round in. But nobody +ever gives girls money like that, so that they can enjoy it." + +"Oh, Lily; you ungrateful child!" + +"No, I deny it. I'm not ungrateful. I'm very grateful, because his +heart was softened--and because he cried and kissed you. I'll be ever so +good to him! But how I'm to thank him for giving me three thousand +pounds, I cannot think. It's a sort of thing altogether beyond my line +of life. It sounds like something that's to come to me in another +world, but which I don't want quite yet. I am grateful, but with a +misty, hazy sort of gratitude. Can you tell me how soon I shall have a +new pair of Balmoral boots because of this money? If that were brought +home to me I think it would enliven my gratitude." + +The squire, as he rode back to Guestwick, fell again from that +animation, which Mrs Dale had described, into his natural sombre mood. +He thought much of his past life, declaring to himself the truth of +those words in which he had told his sister-in-law that his heart had +ever been kinder than his words. But the world, and all those nearest +to him in the world, had judged him always by his words rather than by +his heart. They had taken the appearance, which he could not command or +alter, rather than the facts, of which he had been the master. Had he +not been good to all his relations?--and yet was there one among them +that cared for him? "I'm almost sorry that they are going to stay," he +said to himself--"I know that I shall disappoint them." Yet when he met +Bell at the Manor House he accosted her cheerily, telling her with much +appearance of satisfaction that that flitting into Guestwick was not to +be accomplished. + +"I am so glad," said she. "It is long since I wished it." + +"And I do not think your mother wishes it now." + +"I am sure she does not. It was all a misunderstanding from the first. +When some of us could not do all that you wished, we thought it +better--" Then Bell paused, finding that she would get herself into a +mess if she persevered. + +"We will not say any more about it," said the squire. "The thing is +over, and I am very glad that it should be so pleasantly settled. I was +talking to Dr Crofts yesterday." + +"Were you, uncle? + +"Yes; and he is to come and stay with me the day before he is married. +We have arranged it all. And we'll have the breakfast up at the Great +House. Only you must fix the day. I should say some time in March. And, +my dear, you'll want to make yourself fine; here's a little money for +you. You are to spend that before your marriage, you know." Then he +shambled away, and as soon as he was alone, again became sad and +despondent. He was a man for whom we may predicate some gentle sadness +and continued despondency to the end of his life's chapter. + +We left John Eames in the custody of Lady Julia, who had overtaken him +in the act of erasing Lily's name from the railing which ran across the +brook. He had been premeditating an escape home to his mother's house +in Guestwick, and thence hack to London, without making any further +appearance at the Manor House. But as soon as he heard Lady Julia's +step, and saw her figure close upon him, he knew that his retreat was +cut off from him. So he allowed himself to be led away quietly up to +the house. With Lady Julia herself he openly discussed the whole +matter--telling her that his hopes were over, his happiness gone, and +his heart half-broken. Though he would perhaps have cared but little +for her congratulations in success, he could make himself more amenable +to consolation and sympathy from her than from any other inmate in the +earl's house. "I don't know what I shall say to your brother," he +whispered to her, as they approached the side door at which she +intended to enter. + +"Will you let me break it to him? After that he will say a few words to +you of course, but you need not be afraid of him." + +"And Mr Dale?" said Johnny. "Everybody has heard about it. Everybody +will know what a fool I have made myself." She suggested that the earl +should speak to the squire, assured him that nobody would think him at +all foolish, and then left him to make his way up to his own bedroom. +When there he found a letter from Cradell, which had been delivered in +his absence; but the contents of that letter may best be deferred to +the next chapter. They were not of a nature to give him comfort or to +add to his sorrow. + +About an hour before dinner there was a knock at his door, and the earl +himself, when summoned, made his appearance in the room. He was dressed +in his usual farming attire, having been caught by Lady Julia on the +first approach to the house, and had come away direct to his young +friend, after having been duly trained in what he ought to say by his +kind-hearted sister. I am not, however, prepared to declare that he +strictly followed his sister's teaching in all that he said upon the +occasion. + +"Well, my boy," he began, "so the young lady has been perverse." + +"Yes, my lord. That is, I don't know about being perverse. It is all +over." + +"That's as may be, Johnny. As far as I know, not half of them accept +their lovers the first time of asking." + +"I shall not ask her again." + +"Oh, yes, you will. You don't mean to say you are angry with her for +refusing you." + +"Not in the least. I have no right to be angry. I am only angry with +myself for being such a fool, Lord de Guest. I wish I had been dead +before I came down here on this errand. Now I think of it, I know there +are so many things which ought to have made me sure how it would be." + +"I don't see that at all. You come down again--let me see--it's May now. +Say you come when the shooting begins in September. If we can't get you +leave of absence in any other way, we'll make old Buffle come too. +Only, by George, I believe he'd shoot us all. But never mind; we'll +manage that. You keep up your spirits till September, and then we'll +fight the battle in another way. The squire shall get up a little party +for the bride, and my lady Lily must go then. You shall meet her so; +and then we'll shoot over the squire's land. We'll bring you together +so; you see if we don't. Lord bless me! Refused once! My belief is, +that in these days a girl thinks nothing of a man till she has refused +him half-a-dozen times." + +"I don't think Lily is at all like that." + +"Look here, Johnny. I have not a word to say against Miss Lily. I like +her very much, and think her one of the nicest girls I know. When she's +your wife, I'll love her dearly, if she'll let me. But she's made of +the same stuff as other girls, and will act in the same way. Things +have gone a little astray among you, and they won't right themselves +all in a minute. She knows now what your feelings are, and she'll go on +thinking of it, till at last you'll be in her thoughts more than that +other fellow. Don't tell me about her becoming an old maid, because at +her time of life she has been so unfortunate as to come across a +false-hearted man like that. It may take a little time; but if you'll +carry on and not be down-hearted, you'll find it will all come right in +the end. Everybody doesn't get all that they want in a minute. How I +shall quiz you about all this when you have been two or three years +married!" + +"I don't think I shall ever be able to ask her again; and I feel sure, +if I do, that her answer will be the same. She told me in so many +words; but never mind, I cannot repeat her words." + +"I don't want you to repeat them; nor yet to heed them beyond their +worth. Lily Dale is a very pretty girl; clever, too, I believe, and +good, I'm sure; but her words are not more sacred than those of other +men or women. What she has said to you now, she means, no doubt; but +the minds of men and women are prone to change, especially when such +changes are conducive to their own happiness." + +"At any rate I'll never forget your kindness, Lord de Guest." + +"And there is one other thing I want to say to you, Johnny. A man +should never allow himself to be cast down by anything--not outwardly, +to the eyes of other men." + +"But how is he to help it? + +"His pluck should prevent him. You were not afraid of a roaring bull, +nor yet of that man when you thrashed him at the railway station. +You've pluck enough of that kind. You must now show that you've that +other kind of pluck. You know the story of the boy who would not cry +though the wolf was gnawing him underneath his frock. Most of us have +some wolf to gnaw us somewhere; but we are generally gnawed beneath our +clothes, so that the world doesn't see; and it behoves us so to bear it +that the world shall not suspect. The man who goes about declaring +himself to be miserable will be not only miserable, but contemptible as +well." + +"But the wolf hasn't gnawed me beneath my clothes; everybody knows it." + +"Then let those who do know it learn that you are able to bear such +wounds without outward complaint. I tell you fairly that I cannot +sympathise with a lackadaisical lover." + +"I know that I have made myself ridiculous to everybody. I wish I had +never come here. I wish you had never seen me." + +"Don't say that, my dear boy; but take my advice for what it is worth. +And remember what it is that I say; with your grief I do sympathise, +but not with any outward expression of it--not with melancholy looks, +and a sad voice, and an unhappy gait. A man should always be able to +drink his wine and seem to enjoy it. If he can't, he is so much less of +a man than he would be otherwise--not so much more, as some people seem +to think. Now get yourself dressed, my dear fellow, and come down to +dinner as though nothing had happened to you." + +As soon as the earl was gone John looked at his watch and saw that it +still wanted some forty minutes to dinner. Fifteen minutes would +suffice for him to dress, and therefore there was time sufficient for +him to seat himself in his arm-chair and think over it all. He had for +a moment been very angry when his friend had told him that he could not +sympathise with a lackadaisical lover. It was an ill-natured word. He +felt it to be so when he heard it, and so he continued to think during +the whole of the half-hour that he sat in that chair. But it probably +did him more good than any word that the earl had ever spoken to him--or +any other word that he could have used. "Lackadaisical! I'm not +lackadaisical," he said to himself, jumping up from his chair, and +instantly sitting down again. "I didn't say anything to him. I didn't +tell him. Why did he come to me?" And yet, though he endeavoured to +abuse Lord de Guest in his thoughts, he knew that Lord de Guest was +right, and that he was wrong. He knew that he had been lackadaisical, +and was ashamed of himself; and at once resolved that he would +henceforth demean himself as though no calamity had happened to him. +"I've a good mind to take him at his word, and drink wine till I'm +drunk." Then he strove to get up his courage by a song. + + If she be not fair for me, + What care I how-- + +"But I do care. What stuff it is a man writing poetry and putting into +it such lies as that! Everybody knows that he did care--that is, if he +wasn't a heartless beast." + +But nevertheless, when the time came for him to go down into the +drawing-room he did make the effort which his friend had counselled, +and walked into the room with less of that hang-dog look than the earl +and Lady Julia had expected. They were both there, as was also the +squire, and Bell followed him in less than a minute. + +"You haven't seen Crofts to-day, John, have you?" said the earl. + +"No; I haven't been anywhere his way!" + +"His way! His ways are every way, I take it. I wanted him to come and +dine, but he seemed to think it improper to eat two dinners in the same +house two days running. Isn't that his theory, Miss Dale?" + +"I'm sure I don't know, Lord de Guest. At any rate, it isn't mine." + +So they went to their feast, and before his last chance was over John +Eames found himself able to go through the pretence of enjoying his +roast mutton. + +There can, I think, be no doubt that in all such calamities as that +which he was now suffering, the agony of the misfortune is much +increased by the conviction that the facts of the case are known to +those round about the sufferer. A most warmhearted and +intensely-feeling young gentleman might, no doubt, eat an excellent +dinner after being refused by the girl of his devotions, provided that +he had reason to believe that none of those in whose company he ate it +knew anything of his rejection. But the same warm-hearted and +intensely-feeling young gentleman would find it very difficult to go +through the ceremony with any appearance of true appetite or +gastronomic enjoyment, if he were aware that all his convives knew all +the facts of his little misfortune. Generally, we may suppose, a man in +such condition goes to his club for his dinner, or seeks consolation in +the shades of some adjacent Richmond or Hampton Court. There he +meditates on his condition in silence, and does ultimately enjoy his +little plate of whitebait, his cutlet and his moderate pint of sherry. +He probably goes alone to the theatre, and, in his stall, speculates +with a somewhat bitter sarcasm on the vanity of the world. Then he +returns home, sad indeed, but with a moderated sadness, and as he puffs +out the smoke of his cigar at the open window--with perhaps the comfort +of a little brandy-and-water at his elbow--swears to himself that, "By +Jove, he'll have another try for it." Alone, a man may console himself, +or among a crowd of unconscious mortals; but it must be admitted that +the position of John Eames was severe. He had been invited down there +to woo Lily Dale, and the squire and Bell had been asked to be present +at the wooing. Had it all gone well, nothing could have been nicer. He +would have been the hero of the hour, and everybody would have sung for +him his song of triumph. But everything had not gone well, and he found +it very difficult to carry himself otherwise than lackadaisically. On +the whole, however, his effort was such that the earl gave him credit +for his demeanour, and told him when parting with him for the night +that he was a fine fellow, and that everything should go right with him +yet. + +"And you mustn't be angry with me for speaking harshly to you," he said. + +"I wasn't a bit angry." + +"Yes, you were; and I rather meant that you should be. But you mustn't +go away in dudgeon." + +He stayed at the Manor House one day longer, and then he returned to +his room at the Income-tax Office, to the disagreeable sound of Sir +Raffle's little bell, and the much more disagreeable sound of Sir +Raffle's big voice. + + + +CHAPTER LIX + +JOHN EAMES BECOMES A MAN + +Eames, when he was half way up to London in the railway carriage took +out from his pocket a letter and read it. During the former portion of +his journey he had been thinking of other things; but gradually he had +resolved that it would be better for him not to think more of those +other things for the present, and therefore he had recourse to his +letter by way of dissipating his thoughts. It was from Cradell, and ran +as follows:-- + +INCOME-tax OFFICE, May, 186-. + +MY DEAR JOHN--I hope the tidings which I have to give you will not make +you angry, and that you will not think I am untrue to the great +friendship which I have for you because of that which I am now going to +tell you. There is no man--[and the word man was underscored]--there is +no man whose regard I value so highly as I do yours; and though I feel +that you can have no just ground to be displeased with me after all +that I have heard you say on many occasions, nevertheless, in matters +of the heart it is very hard for one person to understand the +sentiments of another, and when the affections of a lady are concerned, +I know that quarrels will sometimes arise. + +Eames, when he had got so far as this, on the first perusal of the +letter, knew well what was to follow. "Poor Caudle!" he said to +himself; "he's hooked, and he'll never get himself off the hook again." + +But let that be as it may, the matter has now gone too far for any +alteration to be made by me; nor would any mere earthly inducement +suffice to change me. The claims of friendship are very strong, but +those of love are paramount. Of course I know all that has passed +between you and Amelia Roper. Much of this I had heard from you before, +but the rest she has now told me with that pure-minded honesty which is +the most remarkable feature in her character. She has confessed that at +one time she felt attached to you, and that she was induced by your +perseverance to allow you to regard her as your fiancy. [Fancy-girl he +probably conceived to be the vulgar English for the elegant term which +he used.] But all that must be over between you now. Amelia has +promised to be mine--[this also was underscored]--and mine I intend that +she shall be. That you may find in the kind smiles of L. D. consolation +for any disappointment which this may occasion you, is the ardent wish +of your true friend, + +JOSEPH CRADELL. + +P.S.--Perhaps I had better tell you the whole. Mrs Roper has been in +some trouble about her house. She is a little in arrears with her rent, +and some bills have not been paid. As she explained that she has been +brought into this by those dreadful Lupexes I have consented to take +the house into my own hands, and have given bills to one or two +tradesmen for small amounts. Of course she will take them up, but it +was the credit that was wanting. She will carry on the house, but I +shall, in fact, be the proprietor. I suppose it will not suit you now +to remain here, but don't you think I might make it comfortable enough +for some of our fellows; say half-a-dozen, or so? That is Mrs Roper's +idea, and I certainly think it is not a bad one. Our first efforts must +be to get rid of the Lupexes. Miss Spruce goes next week. In the +meantime we are all taking our meals up in our own rooms, so that there +is nothing for the Lupexes to eat. But they don't seem to mind that, +and still keep the sitting-room and best bedroom. We mean to lock them +out after Tuesday, and send all their boxes to the public-house. + + +Poor Cradell! Eames, as he threw himself back upon his seat and +contemplated the depth of misfortune into which his friend had fallen, +began to be almost in love with his own position. He himself was, no +doubt, a very miserable fellow. There was only one thing in life worth +living for, and that he could not get. He had been thinking for the +last three days of throwing himself before a locomotive steam-engine, +and was not quite sure that he would not do it yet; but, nevertheless, +his place was a place among the gods as compared to that which poor +Cradell had selected for himself. To be not only the husband of Amelia +Roper, but to have been driven to take upon himself as his bride's +fortune the whole of his future mother-in-law's debts! To find himself +the owner of a very indifferent lodging-house--the owner as regarded all +responsibility, though not the owner as regarded any possible profit! +And then, above and almost worse than all the rest, to find himself +saddled with the Lupexes in the beginning of his career! Poor Cradell +indeed! + +Eames had not taken his things away from the lodging-house before he +left London, and therefore determined to drive to Burton Crescent +immediately on his arrival, not with the intention of remaining there, +even for a night, but that he might bid them farewell, speak his +congratulations to Amelia, and arrange for his final settlement with +Mrs Roper. It should have been explained in the last chapter that the +earl had told him before parting with him that his want of success with +Lily would make no difference as regarded money. John had, of course, +expostulated, saying that he did not want anything, and would not, +under his existing circumstances, accept anything; but the earl was a +man who knew how to have his own way, and in this matter did have it. +Our friend, therefore, was a man of wealth when he returned to London, +and could tell Mrs Roper that he would send her a cheque for her little +balance as soon as he reached his office. + +He arrived in the middle of the day--not timing his return at all after +the usual manner of Government clerks, who generally manage to reach +the metropolis not more than half an hour before the moment at which +they are bound to show themselves in their seats. But he had come back +two days before he was due, and had run away from the country as though +London in May to him were much pleasanter than the woods and fields. +But neither had London nor the woods and fields any influence on his +return. He had gone down that he might throw himself at the feet of +Lily Dale--gone down, as he now confessed to himself, with hopes almost +triumphant, and he had returned because Lily Dale would not have him at +her feet. "I loved him--him, Crosbie--better than all the world besides. +It is still the same. I still love him better than all the world." + +Those were the words which had driven him back to London; and having +been sent away with such words as those, it was little matter to him +whether he reached his office a day or two sooner or later. The little +room in the city, even with the accompaniment of Sir Raffle's bell and +Sir Raffle's voice, would be now more congenial to him than Lady +Julia's drawing-room. He would therefore present himself to Sir Raffle +on that very afternoon, and expel some interloper from his seat. But he +would first call in Burton Crescent and say farewell to the Ropers. + +The door was opened for him by the faithful Jemima. "Mr Heames, Mr +Heames! ho dear, ho dear!" and the poor girl, who had always taken his +side in the adventures of the lodging-house, raised her hands on high +and lamented the fate which had separated her favourite from its +fortunes. "I suppose you knows it all, Mister Johnny? "Mister Johnny +said that he believed he did know it all, and asked for the mistress of +the house. "Yes, sure enough, she's at home. She don't dare stir out +much, 'cause of them Lupexes. Ain't this a pretty game? No dinner and +no nothink! Them boxes is Miss Spruce's. She's agoing now, this minute. +You'll find 'em all upstairs in the drawen-room." So upstairs into the +drawing-room he went, and there he found the mother and daughter, and +with them Miss Spruce, tightly packed up in her bonnet and shawl. +"Don't, mother," Amelia was saying; "what's the good of going on in +that way? If she chooses to go, let her go." + +"But she's been with me now so many years," said Mrs Roper, sobbing; +"and I've always done everything for her! Haven't I, now, Sally +Spruce?" It struck Eames immediately that, though he had been an inmate +in the house for two years, he had never before heard that maiden +lady's Christian name. Miss Spruce was the first to see Eames as he +entered the room. It is probable that Mrs Roper's pathos might have +produced some answering pathos on her part had she remained unobserved, +but the sight of a young man brought her back to her usual state of +quiescence. "I'm only an old woman," said she; "and here's Mr Eames +come back again." + +"How d'ye do, Mrs Roper? how d'ye do, Amelia?--how d'ye do, Miss +Spruce?" and he shook hands with them all. + +"Oh, laws," said Mrs Roper, "you have given me such a start!" + +"Dear me, Mr Eames; only think of your coming back in that way," said +Amelia. + +"Well, what way should I come back? You didn't hear me knock at the +door, that's all. So Miss Spruce is really going to leave you?" + +"Isn't it dreadful, Mr Eames? Nineteen years we've been together--taking +both houses together, Miss Spruce, we have, indeed." Miss Spruce, at +this point, struggled very hard to convince John Eames that the period +in question had in truth extended over only eighteen years, but Mrs +Roper was authoritative, and would not permit it. "It's nineteen years +if it's a day. No one ought to know dates if I don't, and there isn't +one in the world understands her ways unless it's me. Haven't I been up +to your bedroom every night, and with my own hand given you--" But she +stopped herself, and was too good a woman to declare before a young man +what had been the nature of her nightly ministrations to her guest. + +"I don't think you'll be so comfortable anywhere else, Miss Spruce," +said Eames. + +"Comfortable! of course she won't," said Amelia. "But if I was mother I +wouldn't have any more words about it." + +"It isn't the money I'm thinking of, but the feeling of it," said Mrs +Roper. "The house will be so lonely like. I shan't know myself; that I +shan't. And now that things are all settled so pleasantly, and that the +Lupexes must go on Tuesday--I'll tell you what, Sally; I'll pay for the +cab myself, and I'll start off to Dulwich by the omnibus tomorrow, and +settle it all out of my own pocket. I will indeed. Come; there's the +cab. Let me go down, and send him away." + +"I'll do that," said Eames. "It's only sixpence, off the stand," Mrs +Roper called to him as he left the room. But the cabman got a shilling, +and John, as he returned, found Jemima in the act of carrying Miss +Spruce's boxes back to her room. "So much the better for poor Caudle," +said he to himself. "As he has gone into the trade it's well that he +should have somebody that will pay him." + +Mrs Roper followed Miss Spruce up the stairs and Johnny was left with +Amelia. "He's written to you, I know," said she, with her face turned a +little away from him. She was certainly very handsome, but there was a +hard, cross, almost sullen look about her, which robbed her countenance +of all its pleasantness. And yet she had no intention of being sullen +with him. + +"Yes," said John. "He has told me how it's all going to be." + +"Well?" she said. + +"Well?" said he. + +"Is that all you've got to say?" + +"I'll congratulate you, if you'll let me." + +"Psha--congratulations! I hate such humbug. If you've no feelings about +it, I'm sure that I've none. Indeed I don't know what's the good of +feelings. They never did me any good. Are you engaged to marry L. D.?" + +"No, I am not." + +"And you've nothing else to say to me?" + +"Nothing--except my hopes for your happiness. What else can I say? You +are engaged to marry my friend Cradell, and I think it will be a happy +match." + +She turned away her face further from him, and the look of it became +even more sullen. Could it be possible that at such a moment she still +had a hope that he might come back to her? + +"Good-bye, Amelia," he said, putting out his hand to her. + +"And this is to be the last of you in this house!" + +"Well, I don't know about that. I'll come and call upon you, if you'll +let me, when you're married." + +"Yes," she said, "that there may be rows in the house, and noise, and +jealousy--as there have been with that wicked woman upstairs. Not if I +know it, you won't! John Eames, I wish I'd never seen you. I wish we +might have both fallen dead when we first met. I didn't think ever to +have cared for a man as I have cared for you. It's all trash and +nonsense and foolery; I know that. It's all very well for young ladies +as can sit in drawing-rooms all their lives, but when a woman has her +way to make in the world it's all foolery. And such a hard way too to +make as mine is!" + +"But it won't be hard now." + +"Won't it? But I think it will. I wish you would try it. Not that I'm +going to complain. I never minded work, and as for company, I can put +up with anybody. The world's not to be all dancing and fiddling for the +likes of me. I know that well enough. But ," and then she paused. + +"What's the 'but' about, Amelia?" + +"It's like you to ask me; isn't it?" To tell the truth he should not +have asked her. "Never mind. I'm not going to have any words with you. +If you've been a knave I've been a fool, and that's worse." + +"But I don't think I have been a knave." + +"I've been both," said the girl; "and both for nothing. After that you +may go. I've told you what I am, and I'll leave you to name yourself. I +didn't think it was in me to have been such a fool. It's that that +frets me. Never mind, sir; it's all over now, and I wish you good-bye." + +I do not think that there was the slightest reason why John should have +again kissed her at parting, but he did so. She bore it, not struggling +with him; but she took his caress with sullen endurance. "It'll be the +last," she said. "Good-bye, John Eames." + +"Good-bye, Amelia. Try to make him a good wife and then you'll be +happy." She turned up her nose at this, assuming a look of unutterable +scorn. But she said nothing further, and then he left the room. At the +parlour door he met Mrs Roper, and had his parting words with her. + +"I am so glad you came," said she. "It was just that word you said that +made Miss Spruce stay. Her money is so ready, you know! And so you've +had it all out with her about Cradell. She'll make him a good wife, she +will indeed--much better than you've been giving her credit for." + +"I don't doubt she'll be a very good wife." + +"You see, Mr Eames, it's all over now, and we understand each other; +don't we? It made me very unhappy when she was setting her cap at you; +it did indeed. She is my own daughter, and I couldn't go against +her--could I? But I knew it wasn't in any way suiting. Laws, I know the +difference. She's good enough for him any day of the week, Mr Eames." + +"That she is--Saturdays or Sundays," said Johnny, not knowing exactly +what he ought to say. + +"So she is; and if he does his duty by her she won't go astray in hers +by him. And as for you, Mr Eames, I am sure I've always felt it an +honour and a pleasure to have you in the house; and if ever you could +use a good word in sending to me any of your young men, I'd do by them +as a mother should; I would indeed. I know I've been to blame about +those Lupexes, but haven't I suffered for it, Mr Eames? And it was +difficult to know at first; wasn't it? And as to you and Amelia, if you +would send any of your young men to try, there couldn't be anything +more of that kind, could there? I know it hasn't all been just as it +should have been--that is as regards you; but I should like to hear you +say that you've found me honest before you went. I have tried to be +honest, I have indeed." + +Eames assured her that he was convinced of her honesty, and that he had +never thought of impugning her character either in regard to those +unfortunate people, the Lupexes, or in reference to other matters. "He +did not think," he said, "that any young men would consult him as to +their lodgings; but if he could be of any service to her, he would." +Then he bade her good-bye, and having bestowed half-a-sovereign on the +faithful Jemima, he took a long farewell of Burton Crescent. Amelia had +told him not to come and see her when she should be married, and he had +resolved that he would take her at her word. So he walked off from the +Crescent, not exactly shaking the dust from his feet, but resolving +that he would know no more either of its dust or of its dirt. Dirt +enough he had encountered there certainly, and he was now old enough to +feel that the inmates of Mrs Roper's house had not been those among +whom a resting-place for his early years should judiciously have been +sought. But he had come out of the fire comparatively unharmed, and I +regret to say that he felt but little for the terrible scorchings to +which his friend had been subjected and was about to subject himself. +He was quite content to look at the matter exactly as it was looked at +by Mrs Roper. Amelia was good enough for Joseph Cradell--any day of the +week. Poor Cradell, of whom in these pages after this notice no more +will be heard! I cannot but think that a hard measure of justice was +meted out to him, in proportion to the extent of his sins. More weak +and foolish than our friend and hero he had been, but not to my +knowledge more wicked. But it is to the vain and foolish that the +punishments fall--and to them they fall so thickly and constantly that +the thinker is driven to think that vanity and folly are of all sins +those which may be the least forgiven. As for Cradell I may declare +that he did marry Amelia, that he did, with some pride, take the place +of master of the house at the bottom of Mrs Roper's table, and that he +did make himself responsible for all Mrs Roper's debts. Of his future +fortunes there is not space to speak in these pages. + +Going away from the Crescent Eames had himself driven to his office, +which he reached just as the men were leaving it, at four o'clock. +Cradell was gone, so that he did not see him on that afternoon; but he +had an opportunity of shaking hands with Mr Love, who treated him with +all the smiling courtesy due to an official bigwig--for a private +secretary, if not absolutely a big-wig, is semi-big, and entitled to a +certain amount of reverence--and he passed Mr Kissing in the passage, +hurrying along as usual with a huge book under his arm. Mr Kissing, +hurried as he was, stopped his shuffling feet; but Eames only looked at +him, hardly honouring him with the acknowledgment of a nod of his head. +Mr Kissing, however, was not offended; he knew that the private +secretary of the First Commissioner had been the guest of an earl; and +what more than a nod could be expected from him? After that John made +his way into the august presence of Sir Raffle, and found that great +man putting on his shoes in the presence of FitzHoward. FitzHoward +blushed; but the shoes had not been touched by him, as he took occasion +afterwards to inform John Eames. + +Sir Raffle was all smiles and civility. "Delighted to see you back, +Eames: am, upon my word; though I and FitzHoward have got on capitally +in your absence; haven't we, FitzHoward?" + +"Oh, yes," drawled FitzHoward. "I haven't minded it for a time, just +while Eames has been away." + +"You're much too idle to keep at it, I know; but your bread will be +buttered for you elsewhere, so it doesn't signify. My compliments to +the duchess when you see her." Then FitzHoward went. "And how's my dear +old friend?" asked Sir Raffle, as though of all men living Lord de +Guest were the one for whom he had the strongest and the oldest love. +And yet he must have known that John Eames knew as much about it as he +did himself. But there are men who have the most lively gratification +in calling lords and marquises their friends, though they know that +nobody believes a word of what they say--even though they know how great +is the odium they incur, and how lasting is the ridicule which their +vanity produces. It is a gentle insanity which prevails in the outer +courts of every aristocracy; and as it brings with itself considerable +annoyance and but a lukewarm pleasure, it should not be treated with +too keen a severity. + +"And how's my dear old friend?" Eames assured him that his dear old +friend was all right, that Lady Julia was all right, that the dear old +place was all right. Sir Raffle now spoke as though the "dear old +place" were quite well known to him. "Was the game doing pretty well? +Was there a promise of birds? "Sir Raffle's anxiety was quite intense, +and expressed with almost familiar affection. "And, by-the-by, Eames, +where are you living at present?" + +"Well, I'm not settled. I'm at the Great Western Railway Hotel at this +moment." + +"Capital house, very; only it's expensive if you stay there the whole +season." Johnny had no idea of remaining there beyond one night, but he +said nothing as to this. "By-the-by, you might as well come and dine +with us tomorrow. Lady Buffle is most anxious to know you. There'll be +one or two with us. I did ask my friend Dumbello, but there's some +nonsense going on in the House, and he thinks that he can't get away." +Johnny was more gracious than Lord Dumbello, and accepted the +invitation. "I wonder what Lady Buffle will be like? "he said to +himself, as he walked away from the office. + +He had turned into the Great Western Hotel, not as yet knowing where to +look for a home; and there we will leave him, eating his solitary +mutton-chop at one of those tables which are so comfortable to the eye, +but which are so comfortless in reality. I speak not now with reference +to the excellent establishment which has been named, but to the nature +of such tables in general. A solitary mutton-chop in an hotel +coffee-room is not a banquet to be envied by any god; and if the +mutton-chop be converted into soup, fish, little dishes, big dishes, +and the rest, the matter becomes worse and not better. What comfort are +you to have, seated alone on that horsehair chair, staring into the +room and watching the waiters as they whisk about their towels? No one +but an Englishman has ever yet thought of subjecting himself to such a +position as that! But here we will leave John Eames, and in doing so I +must be allowed to declare that only now, at this moment, has he +entered on his manhood. Hitherto he has been a hobbledehoy--a calf, as +it were, who had carried his calfishness later into life than is common +with calves; but who did not, perhaps, on that account, give promise of +making a worse ox than the rest of them. His life hitherto, as recorded +in these pages, had afforded him no brilliant success, had hardly +qualified him for the role of hero which he has been made to play. I +feel that I have been in fault in giving such prominence to a +hobbledehoy, and that I should have told my story better had I brought +Mr Crosbie more conspicuously forward on my canvas. He at any rate has +gotten to himself a wife--as a hero always should do; whereas I must +leave my poor friend Johnny without any matrimonial prospects. + +It was thus that he thought of himself as he sat moping over his +solitary table in the hotel coffee-room. He acknowledged to himself +that he had not hitherto been a man; but at the same time he made some +resolution which, I trust, may assist him in commencing his manhood +from this date. + + + +CHAPTER LX + +CONCLUSION + +It was early in June that Lily went up to her uncle at the Great House, +pleading for Hopkins--pleading that to Hopkins might be restored all the +privileges of head gardener at the Great House. There was some +absurdity in this, seeing that he had never really relinquished his +privileges; but the manner of the quarrel had been in this wise. + +There was in those days, and had been for years, a vexed question +between Hopkins and Jolliffe the bailiff on the matter of stable +manure. Hopkins had pretended to the right of taking what he required +from the farmyard, without asking leave of any one. Jolliffe in return +had hinted, that if this were so, Hopkins would take it all. "But I +can't eat it," Hopkins had said. Jolliffe merely grunted, signifying by +the grunt, as Hopkins thought, that though a gardener couldn't eat a +mountain of manure fifty feet long and fifteen high--couldn't eat in the +body--he might convert it into things edible for his own personal use. +And so there had been a great feud. The unfortunate squire had of +course been called on to arbitrate, and having postponed his decision +by every contrivance possible to him, had at last been driven by +Jolliffe to declare that Hopkins should take nothing that was not +assigned to him. Hopkins, when the decision was made known to him by +his master, bit his old lips, and turned round upon his old heel, +speechless. + +"You'll find it's so at all other places," said the squire, +apologetically. "Other places!" sneered Hopkins. Where would he find +other gardeners like himself? It is hardly necessary to declare that +from that moment he resolved that he would abide by no such order. +Jolliffe on the next morning informed the squire that the order had +been broken, and the squire fretted and fumed, wishing that Jolliffe +were well buried under the mountain in question. "If they all is to do +as they like," said Jolliffe, "then nobody won't care for nobody." The +squire understood than an order if given must be obeyed, and therefore, +with many inner groanings of the spirit, resolved that war must be +waged against Hopkins. + +On the following morning he found the old man himself wheeling a huge +barrow of manure round from the yard into the kitchen-garden. Now, on +ordinary occasions, Hopkins was not required to do with his own hands +work of that description. He had a man under him who hewed wood, and +carried water, and wheeled barrows--one man always, and often two. The +squire knew when he saw him that he was sinning, and bade him stop upon +his road. + +"Hopkins," he said, "why didn't you ask for what you wanted, before you +took it?" The old man put down the barrow on the ground, looked up in +his master's face, spat into his hands, and then again resumed his +barrow. "Hopkins, that won't do," said the squire. "Stop where you +are." + +"What won't do?" said Hopkins, still holding the barrow from the +ground, but not as yet progressing. + +"Put it down, Hopkins," and Hopkins did put it down. Don't you know +that you are flatly disobeying my orders?" + +"Squire, I've been here about this place going on nigh seventy years." + +"If you've been going on a hundred and seventy it wouldn't do that +there should be more than one master. I'm the master here, and I intend +to be so to the end. Take that manure back into the yard." + +"Back into the yard?" said Hopkins, very slowly. + +"Yes; back into the yard." + +"What--afore all their faces?" + +"Yes; you've disobeyed me before all their faces?" + +Hopkins paused a moment, looking away from the squire, and shaking his +head as though he had need of deep thought, but by the aid of deep +thought had come at last to a right conclusion. Then he resumed the +barrow, and putting himself almost into a trot, carried away his prize +into the kitchen-garden. At the pace which he went it would have been +beyond the squire's power to stop him, nor would Mr Dale have wished to +come to a personal encounter with his servant. But he called after the +man in dire wrath that if he were not obeyed the disobedient servant +should rue the consequences for ever. Hopkins, equal to the occasion, +shook his head as he trotted on, deposited his load at the foot of the +cucumber-frames, and then at once returning to his master, tendered to +him the key of the greenhouse. + +"Master," said Hopkins, speaking as best he could with his scanty +breath, "there it is--there's the key; of course I don't want no +warning, and doesn't care about my week's wages. I'll be out of the +cottage afore night, and as for the work'us, I suppose they'll let me +in at once, if your honour'll give 'em a line." + +Now as Hopkins was well known by the squire to be the owner of three or +four hundred pounds, the hint about the workhouse must be allowed to +have been melodramatic. + +"Don't be a fool," said the squire, almost gnashing his teeth. "I know +I've been a fool," said Hopkins, "about that 'ere doong; my feelings +has been too much for me. When a man's feelings has been too much for +him, he'd better just take hisself off, and lie in the work'us till he +dies." And then he again tendered the key. But the squire did not take +the key, and so Hopkins went on. "I s'pose I'd better just see to the +lights and the like of that, till you've suited yourself, Mr Dale. It +'ud be a pity all them grapes should go off, and they, as you may say, +all one as fit for the table. It's a long way the best crop I ever see +on 'em. I've been that careful with 'em that I haven't had a natural +night's rest, not since February. There ain't nobody about this place +as understands grapes, nor yet anywhere nigh that could be got at. My +lord's head man is wery ignorant; but even if he knew ever so, of +course he couldn't come here. I suppose I'd better keep the key till +you're suited, Mr Dale." + +Then for a fortnight there was an interregnum in the gardens, terrible +in the annals of Allington. Hopkins lived in his cottage indeed, and +looked most sedulously after the grapes. In looking after the grapes, +too, he took the greenhouses under his care; but he would have nothing +to do with the outer gardens, took no wages, returning the amount sent +to him back to the squire, and insisted with everybody that he had been +dismissed. He went about with some terrible horticultural implement +always in his hand, with which it was said that he intended to attack +Jolliffe; but Jolliffe prudently kept out of his way. + +As soon as it had been resolved by Mrs Dale and Lily that the flitting +from the Small House at Allington was not to be accomplished, Lily +communicated the fact to Hopkins. + +"Miss," said he, "when I said them few words to you and your mamma, I +knew that you would listen to reason." + +This was no more than Lily had expected; that Hopkins should claim the +honour of having prevailed by his arguments was a matter of course. + +"Yes," said Lily; "we've made up our minds to stay. Uncle wishes it." + +"Wishes it! Laws, miss; it ain't only wishes. And we all wishes it. +Why, now, look at the reason of the thing. Here's this here house--" + +"But, Hopkins, it's decided. We're going to stay. What I want to know +is this; can you come at once and help me to unpack? + +"What! this very evening, as is--" + +"Yes, now; we want to have the things about again before they come back +from Guestwick." + +Hopkins scratched his head and hesitated, not wishing to yield to any +proposition that could be considered as childish; but he gave way at +last, feeling that the work itself was a good work. Mrs Dale also +assented, laughing at Lily for her folly as she did so, and in this way +the things were unpacked very quickly, and the alliance between Lily +and Hopkins became, for the time, very close. This work of unpacking +and resettling was not yet over, when the battle of the manure broke +out, and therefore it was that Hopkins, when his feelings had become +altogether too much for him "about the doong," came at last to Lily, +and laying down at her feet all the weight and all the glory of his +sixty odd years of life, implored her to make matters straight for him. +"It's been a killing me, miss, so it has; to see the way they've been a +cutting that 'sparagus. It ain't cutting at all. It's just hocking it +up--what is fit, and what isn't, all together. And they've been +a-putting the plants in where I didn't mean 'em, though they know'd I +didn't mean 'em. I've stood by, miss, and said never a word. I'd a died +sooner. But, Miss Lily, what my sufferings have been, 'cause of my +feelings getting the better of me about that--you know, miss--nobody will +ever tell--nobody--nobody--nobody." Then Hopkins turned away and wept. + +"Uncle," said Lily, creeping close up against his chair, "I want to ask +you a great favour." + +"A great favour. Well, I don't think I shall refuse you anything at +present. It isn't to ask another earl to the house--is it?" + +"Another earl!" said Lily. + +"Yes; haven't you heard? Miss Bell has been here this morning, +insisting that I should have over Lord de Guest and his sister for the +marriage. It seems that there was some scheming between Bell and Lady +Julia." + +"Of course you'll ask them." + +"Of course I must. I've no way out of it. It'll be all very well for +Bell, who'll be off to Wales with her lover; but what am I to do with +the earl and Lady Julia, when they're gone? Will you come and help me?" + +In answer to this, Lily of course promised that she would come and +help. "Indeed," said she, "I thought we were all asked up for the day. +And now for my favour. Uncle, you must forgive poor Hopkins." + +"Forgive a fiddlestick!" said the squire. + +"No, but you must. You can't think how unhappy he is." + +"How can I forgive a man who won't forgive me. He goes prowling about +the place doing nothing; and he sends me back his wages, and he looks +as though he were going to murder some one; and all because he wouldn't +do as he was told. How am I to forgive such a man as that?" + +"But, uncle, why not?" + +"It would be his forgiving me. He knows very well that he may come back +whenever he pleases; and, indeed, for the matter of that he has never +gone away." + +"But he is so very unhappy." + +"What can I do to make him happier?" + +"Just go down to his cottage and tell him that you forgive him." + +"Then he'll argue with me." + +"No; I don't think he will. He is too much down in the world for +arguing now." + +"Ah! you don't know him as I do. All the misfortunes in the world +wouldn't stop that man's conceit. Of course I'll go if you ask me, but +it seems to me that I'm made to knock under to everybody. I hear a +great deal about other people's feelings, but I don't know that mine +are very much thought of." He was not altogether in a happy mood, and +Lily almost regretted that she had persevered; but she did succeed in +carrying him off across the garden to the cottage, and as they went +together she promised him that she would think of him always--always. +The scene with Hopkins cannot be described now, as it would take too +many of our few remaining pages. It resulted, I am afraid I must +confess, in nothing more triumphant to the squire than a treaty of +mutual forgiveness. Hopkins acknowledged, with much self-reproach, that +his feelings had been too many for him; but then, look at his +provocation! He could not keep his tongue from that matter, and +certainly said as much in his own defence as he did in confession of +his sins. The substantial triumph was altogether his, for nobody again +ever dared to interfere with his operations in the farmyard. He showed +his submission to his master mainly by consenting to receive his wages +for the two weeks which he had passed in idleness. + +Owing to this little accident, Lily was not so much oppressed by +Hopkins as she had expected to be in that matter of their altered +plans; but this salvation did not extend to Mrs Hearn, to Mrs Crump, +or, above all, to Mrs Boyce. They, all of them, took an interest more +or less strong in the Hopkins controversy; but their interest in the +occupation of the Small House was much stronger, and it was found +useless to put Mrs Hearn off with the gardener's persistent refusal of +his wages, when she was big with inquiry whether the house was to be +painted inside, as well as out. "Ah," said she, "I think I'll go and +look at lodgings at Guestwick myself, and pack up some of my beds." +Lily made no answer to this, feeling that it was a part of that +punishment which she had expected. "Dear, dear," said Mrs Crump to the +two girls; "well, to be sure, we should a been lone without 'ee, and +mayhap we might a got worse in your place; but why did 'ee go and +fasten up all your things in them big boxes, just to unfasten 'em all +again?" + +"We changed our minds, Mrs Crump," said Bell, with some severity. + +"Yees, I know ye changed your mindses. Well, it's all right for loiks +o' ye, no doubt; but if we changes our mindses, we hears of it." + +"So, it seems, do we! "said Lily. "But never mind, Mrs Crump. Do you +send us our letters up early, and then we won't quarrel." + +"Oh, letters! Drat them for letters. I wish there weren't no sich +things. There was a man here yesterday with his imperence. I don't know +where he come from--down from Lun'on, I b'leeve: and this was wrong, and +that was wrong, and everything was wrong; and then he said he'd have me +discharged the sarvice." + +"Dear me, Mrs Crump; that wouldn't do at all." + +"Discharged the sarvice! Tuppence farden a day. So I told 'un to +discharge hisself, and take all the old bundles and things away upon +his shoulders. Letters indeed! What business have they with +post-missusses, if they cannot pay 'em better nor tuppence farden a +day?" And in this way, under the shelter of Mrs Crump's storm of wrath +against the inspector who had visited her, Lily and Bell escaped much +that would have fallen upon their own heads; but Mrs Boyce still +remained. I may here add, in order that Mrs Crump's history may be +carried on to the farthest possible point, that she was not "discharged +the sarvice," and that she still receives her twopence farthing a day +from the Crown. "That's a bitter old lady," said the inspector to the +man who was driving him. + +"Yes, sir; they all says the same about she. There ain't none of 'em +get much change out of Mrs Crump." + +Bell and Lily went together also to Mrs Boyce's. "If she makes herself +very disagreeable, I shall insist upon talking of your marriage," said +Lily. + +"I've not the slightest objection," said Bell; "only I don't know what +there can be to say about it. Marrying the doctor is such a very +commonplace sort of thing." + +"Not a bit more commonplace than marrying the parson," said Lily. + +"Oh, yes, it is. Parsons' marriages are often very grand affairs. They +come in among county people. That's their luck in life. Doctors never +do; nor lawyers. I don't think lawyers ever get married in the country. +They're supposed to do it up in London. But a country doctor's wedding +is not a thing to be talked about much." + +Mrs Boyce probably agreed in this view of the matter, seeing that she +did not choose the coming marriage as her first subject of +conversation. As soon as the two girls were seated she flew away +immediately to the house, and began to express her very great +surprise--her surprise and her joy also--at the sudden change which had +been made in their plans. "It is so much nicer, you know," said she, +"that things should be pleasant among relatives." + +"Things always have been tolerably pleasant with us," said Bell. + +"Oh, yes; I'm sure of that. I've always said it was quite a pleasure to +see you and your uncle together. And when we heard about your all +having to leave--" + +"But we didn't have to leave, Mrs Boyce. We were going to leave because +we thought mamma would be more comfortable in Guestwick; and now we're +not going to leave, because we've all 'changed our mindses,' as Mrs +Crump calls it." + +"And is it true the house is going to be painted?" asked Mrs Boyce. + +"I believe it is true," said Lily. + +"Inside and out?" + +"It must be done some day," said Bell. + +"Yes, to be sure; but I must say it is generous of the squire. There's +such a deal of wood-work about your house. I know I wish the +Ecclesiastical Commissioners would paint ours; but nobody ever does +anything for the clergy. I'm sure I'm delighted you're going to stay. +As I said to Mr Boyce, what should we ever have done without you? I +believe the squire had made up his mind that he would not let the +place." + +"I don't think he ever has let it." + +"And if there was nobody in it, it would all go to rack and ruin; +wouldn't it? Had your mamma to pay anything for the lodgings she +engaged at Guestwick? + +"Upon my word, I don't know. Bell can tell you better about that than +I, as Dr Crofts settled it. I suppose Dr Crofts tells her everything." +And so the conversation was changed, and Mrs Boyce was made to +understand that whatever further mystery there might be, it would not +be unravelled on that occasion. + +It was settled that Dr Crofts and Bell should be married about the +middle of June, and the squire determined to give what grace he could +to the ceremony by opening his own house on the occasion. Lord de Guest +and Lady Julia were invited by special arrangement between her ladyship +and Bell, as has been before explained. The colonel also with Lady +Fanny came up from Torquay on the occasion, this being the first visit +made by the colonel to his paternal roof for many years. Bernard did +not accompany his father. He had not yet gone abroad, but there were +circumstances which made him feel that he would not find himself +comfortable at the wedding. The service was performed by Mr Boyce, +assisted, as the County Chronicle very fully remarked, by the Reverend +John Joseph Jones, M.A., late of Jesus College, Cambridge, and curate +of St. Peter's, Northgate, Guestwick; the fault of which little +advertisement was this--that as none of the readers of the paper had +patience to get beyond the Reverend John Joseph Jones, the fact of +Bell's marriage with Dr Crofts was not disseminated as widely as might +have been wished. + +The marriage went off very nicely. The squire was upon his very best +behaviour, and welcomed his guests as though he really enjoyed their +presence there in his halls. Hopkins, who was quite aware that he had +been triumphant, decorated the old rooms with mingled flowers and +greenery with an assiduous care which pleased the two girls mightily. +And during this work of wreathing and decking there was one little +morsel of feeling displayed which may as well be told in these last +lines. Lily had been encouraging the old man while Bell for a moment +had been absent. + +"I wish it had been for thee, my darling!" he said; "I wish it had been +for thee! + +"It is much better as it is, Hopkins," she answered, solemnly. + +"Not with him, though," he went on, "not with him. I wouldn't a hung a +bough for him. But with t'other one." + +Lily said no word further. She knew that the man was expressing the +wishes of all around her. She said no word further, and then Bell +returned to them. + +But no one at the wedding was so gay as Lily--so gay, so bright, and so +wedding-like. She flirted with the old earl till he declared that he +would marry her himself. No one seeing her that evening, and knowing +nothing of her immediate history, would have imagined that she herself +had been cruelly jilted some six or eight months ago. And those who did +know her could not imagine that what she then suffered had hit her so +hard, that no recovery seemed possible for her. But though no recovery, +as she herself believed, was possible for her--though she was as a man +whose right arm had been taken from him in the battle, still all the +world had not gone with that right arm. The bullet which had maimed her +sorely had not touched her life, and she scorned to go about the world +complaining either by word or look of the injury she had received. +"Wives when they have lost their husbands still eat and laugh," she +said to herself, "and he is not dead like that." So she resolved that +she would be happy, and I here declare that she not only seemed to +carry out her resolution, but that she did carry it out in very truth. +"You're a dear good man, and I know you'll be good to her," she said to +Crofts just as he was about to start with his bride. + +"I'll try, at any rate," he answered. + +"And I shall expect you to be good to me too. Remember you have married +the whole family; and, sir, you mustn't believe a word of what that bad +man says in his novels about mothers-in-law. He has done a great deal +of harm, and shut half the ladies in England out of their daughters' +houses." + +"He shan't shut Mrs Dale out of mine." + +"Remember he doesn't. Now, good-bye." So the bride and bridegroom went +off, and Lily was left to flirt with Lord de Guest. + +Of whom else is it necessary that a word or two should be said before I +allow the weary pen to fall from my hand? The squire, after much inward +struggling on the subject, had acknowledged to himself that his +sister-in-law had not received from him that kindness which she had +deserved. He had acknowledged this, purporting to do his best to amend +his past errors; and I think I may say that his efforts in that line +would not be received ungraciously by Mrs Dale. I am inclined, +therefore, to think that life at Allington, both at the Great House and +at the Small, would soon become pleasanter than it used to be in former +days. Lily soon got the Balmoral boots, or, at least, soon learned that +the power of getting them as she pleased had devolved upon her from her +uncle's gift; so that she talked even of buying the squirrel's cage; +but I am not aware that her extravagance led her as far as that. + +Lord de Courcy we left suffering dreadfully from gout and ill-temper at +Courcy Castle. Yes, indeed! To him in his latter days life did not seem +to offer much that was comfortable. His wife had now gone from him, and +declared positively to her son-in-law that no earthly consideration +should ever induce her to go back again--"not if I were to starve!" she +said. By which she intended to signify that she would be firm in her +resolve, even though she should thereby lose her carriage and horses. +Poor Mr Gazebee went down to Courcy, and had a dreadful interview with +the earl; but matters were at last arranged, and her ladyship remained +at Baden-Baden in a state of semi-starvation. That is to say, she had +but one horse to her carriage. + +As regards Crosbie, I am inclined to believe that he did again recover +his power at his office. He was Mr Butterwell's master, and the master +also of Mr Optimist, and the major. He knew his business, and could do +it, which was more, perhaps, than might fairly be said of any of the +other three. Under such circumstances he was sure to get in his hand, +and lead again. But elsewhere his star did not recover its ascendancy. +He dined at his club almost daily, and there were those with whom he +habitually formed some little circle. But he was not the Crosbie of +former days--the Crosbie known in Belgravia and in St. James's Street. +He had taken his little vessel bravely out into the deep waters, and +had sailed her well while fortune stuck close to him. But he had +forgotten his nautical rules, and success had made him idle. His +plummet and lead had not been used, and he had kept no look-out ahead. +Therefore the first rock he met shivered his bark to pieces. His wife, +the Lady Alexandrina, is to be seen in the one-horse carriage with her +mother at Baden-Baden. + + +THE END + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Small House at Allington, by Anthony Trollope + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SMALL HOUSE AT ALLINGTON *** + +This file should be named tsllh11.txt or tsllh11.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, tsllh11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, tsllh10a.txt + +This etext was produced by Andrew Turek. + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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