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diff --git a/4599.txt b/4599.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..005b7c6 --- /dev/null +++ b/4599.txt @@ -0,0 +1,28770 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Small House at Allington, by Anthony +Trollope + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Small House at Allington + + +Author: Anthony Trollope + + +Release Date: October, 2003 [eBook #4599] +Most recently updated: July 17, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SMALL HOUSE AT ALLINGTON*** + + +E-text prepared by Andrew Turek +and revised by Joseph E. Loewenstein, M.D., and an anonymous +Project Gutenberg volunteer + + + +Editorial note: + + _The Small House at Allington_ was first published serially + in the _Cornhill Magazine_ from September, 1862, to April, + 1864, and in book form (two volumes) by Smith, Elder in 1864. + + Both the _Cornhill_ serial and the Smith, Elder first + edition had eighteen full-page illustrations by John + Everett Millais, and those are included in this e-book. + The _Cornhill_ edition also had quarter-page vignettes by + Millais at the beginning of of nineteen chapters, and those + too are included. The illustrations can be seen by viewing + the HTML version of this file. See + 4599-h.htm or 4599-h.zip: + (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/4599/4599-h/4599-h.htm) + or + (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/4599/4599-h.zip) + + + + + +[ILLUSTRATION: Mr. Palliser and Lady Dumbello. (Chapter XXIII)] + + +THE SMALL HOUSE AT ALLINGTON. + +by + +ANTHONY TROLLOPE. + + + + +CONTENTS + + I. THE SQUIRE OF ALLINGTON. + II. THE TWO PEARLS OF ALLINGTON. + III. THE WIDOW DALE OF ALLINGTON. + IV. MRS. ROPER'S BOARDING-HOUSE. + V. ABOUT L. D. + VI. BEAUTIFUL DAYS. + VII. THE BEGINNING OF TROUBLES. + VIII. IT CANNOT BE. + IX. MRS. DALE'S LITTLE PARTY. + X. MRS. LUPEX AND AMELIA ROPER. + XI. SOCIAL LIFE. + XII. LILIAN DALE BECOMES A BUTTERFLY. + XIII. A VISIT TO GUESTWICK. + XIV. JOHN EAMES TAKES A WALK. + XV. THE LAST DAY. + XVI. MR. CROSBIE MEETS AN OLD CLERGYMAN ON HIS WAY + TO COURCY CASTLE. + XVII. COURCY CASTLE. + XVIII. LILY DALE'S FIRST LOVE-LETTER. + XIX. THE SQUIRE MAKES A VISIT TO THE SMALL HOUSE. + XX. DR. CROFTS. + XXI. JOHN EAMES ENCOUNTERS TWO ADVENTURES, AND DISPLAYS GREAT + COURAGE IN BOTH. + XXII. LORD DE GUEST AT HOME. + XXIII. MR. PLANTAGENET PALLISER. + XXIV. A MOTHER-IN-LAW AND A FATHER-IN-LAW. + XXV. ADOLPHUS CROSBIE SPENDS AN EVENING AT HIS CLUB. + XXVI. LORD DE COURCY IN THE BOSOM OF HIS FAMILY. + XXVII. "ON MY HONOUR, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT." + XXVIII. THE BOARD. + XXIX. JOHN EAMES RETURNS TO BURTON CRESCENT. + XXX. "IS IT FROM HIM?" + XXXI. THE WOUNDED FAWN. + XXXII. PAWKINS'S IN JERMYN STREET. + XXXIII. "THE TIME WILL COME." + XXXIV. THE COMBAT. + XXXV. VAE VICTIS. + XXXVI. "SEE, THE CONQUERING HERO COMES." + XXXVII. AN OLD MAN'S COMPLAINT. + XXXVIII. DOCTOR CROFTS IS CALLED IN. + XXXIX. DOCTOR CROFTS IS TURNED OUT. + XL. PREPARATIONS FOR THE WEDDING. + XLI. DOMESTIC TROUBLES. + XLII. LILY'S BEDSIDE. + XLIII. FIE, FIE! + XLIV. VALENTINE'S DAY AT ALLINGTON. + XLV. VALENTINE'S DAY IN LONDON. + XLVI. JOHN EAMES AT HIS OFFICE. + XLVII. THE NEW PRIVATE SECRETARY. + XLVIII. NEMESIS. + XLIX. PREPARATIONS FOR GOING. + L. MRS. DALE IS THANKFUL FOR A GOOD THING. + LI. JOHN EAMES DOES THINGS WHICH HE OUGHT NOT TO HAVE DONE. + LII. THE FIRST VISIT TO THE GUESTWICK BRIDGE. + LIII. LOQUITUR HOPKINS. + LIV. THE SECOND VISIT TO THE GUESTWICK BRIDGE. + LV. NOT VERY FIE FIE AFTER ALL. + LVI. SHOWING HOW MR. CROSBIE BECAME AGAIN A HAPPY MAN. + LVII. LILIAN DALE VANQUISHES HER MOTHER. + LVIII. THE FATE OF THE SMALL HOUSE. + LIX. JOHN EAMES BECOMES A MAN. + LX. CONCLUSION. + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + MR. PALLISER AND LADY DUMBELLO. [Chapter XXIII] FRONTISPIECE. + "PLEASE, MA'AM, CAN WE HAVE THE PEAS TO SHELL?" CHAPTER III. + "AND YOU LOVE ME?" SAID SHE. CHAPTER V. + "IT'S ALL THE FAULT OF THE NAUGHTY PARTRIDGES." CHAPTER VII. + "MR. CRADELL, YOUR HAND," SAID LUPEX. CHAPTER XI. + "WHY, IT'S YOUNG EAMES." CHAPTER XIV. + "HE IS OF THAT SORT THAT THEY MAKE THE + ANGELS OF," SAID THE VERGER. CHAPTER XVI. + "AND HAVE I NOT REALLY LOVED YOU?" CHAPTER XXI. + "DEVOTEDLY ATTACHED TO THE YOUNG MAN!" CHAPTER XXVI. + THE BOARD. CHAPTER XXVIII. + "WON'T YOU TAKE SOME MORE WINE?" CHAPTER XXXII. + "AND YOU WENT IN AT HIM ON THE STATION?" CHAPTER XXXVI. + "LET ME BEG YOU TO THINK OVER THE MATTER AGAIN." CHAPTER XXXVIII. + "THAT MIGHT DO." CHAPTER XL. + "MAMMA," SHE SAID AT LAST, "IT IS OVER NOW, + I'M SURE." CHAPTER XLIV. + "WHY, ON EARTH, ON SUNDAY?" CHAPTER XLVIII. + "BELL, HERE'S THE INKSTAND." CHAPTER XLIX. + "SHE HAS REFUSED ME, AND IT IS ALL OVER." CHAPTER LIV. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE SQUIRE OF ALLINGTON. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +Of course there was a Great House at Allington. How otherwise should +there have been a Small House? Our story will, as its name imports, +have its closest relations with those who lived in the less dignified +domicile of the two; but it will have close relations also with +the more dignified, and it may be well that I should, in the first +instance, say a few words as to the Great House and its owner. + +The squires of Allington had been squires of Allington since squires, +such as squires are now, were first known in England. From father +to son, and from uncle to nephew, and, in one instance, from second +cousin to second cousin, the sceptre had descended in the family of +the Dales; and the acres had remained intact, growing in value and +not decreasing in number, though guarded by no entail and protected +by no wonderful amount of prudence or wisdom. The estate of Dale of +Allington had been coterminous with the parish of Allington for some +hundreds of years; and though, as I have said, the race of squires +had possessed nothing of superhuman discretion, and had perhaps been +guided in their walks through life by no very distinct principles, +still there had been with them so much of adherence to a sacred law, +that no acre of the property had ever been parted from the hands of +the existing squire. Some futile attempts had been made to increase +the territory, as indeed had been done by Kit Dale, the father of +Christopher Dale, who will appear as our squire of Allington when the +persons of our drama are introduced. Old Kit Dale, who had married +money, had bought outlying farms,--a bit of ground here and a bit +there,--talking, as he did so, much of political influence and of +the good old Tory cause. But these farms and bits of ground had gone +again before our time. To them had been attached no religion. When +old Kit had found himself pressed in that matter of the majority +of the Nineteenth Dragoons, in which crack regiment his second son +made for himself quite a career, he found it easier to sell than +to save--seeing that that which he sold was his own and not the +patrimony of the Dales. At his death the remainder of these purchases +had gone. Family arrangements required completion, and Christopher +Dale required ready money. The outlying farms flew away, as such +new purchases had flown before; but the old patrimony of the Dales +remained untouched, as it had ever remained. + +It had been a religion among them; and seeing that the worship had +been carried on without fail, that the vestal fire had never gone +down upon the hearth, I should not have said that the Dales had +walked their ways without high principle. To this religion they had +all adhered, and the new heir had ever entered in upon his domain +without other encumbrances than those with which he himself was then +already burdened. And yet there had been no entail. The idea of an +entail was not in accordance with the peculiarities of the Dale mind. +It was necessary to the Dale religion that each squire should have +the power of wasting the acres of Allington,--and that he should +abstain from wasting them. I remember to have dined at a house, the +whole glory and fortune of which depended on the safety of a glass +goblet. We all know the story. If the luck of Edenhall should be +shattered, the doom of the family would be sealed. Nevertheless I was +bidden to drink out of the fatal glass, as were all guests in that +house. It would not have contented the chivalrous mind of the master +to protect his doom by lock and key and padded chest. And so it was +with the Dales of Allington. To them an entail would have been a +lock and key and a padded chest; but the old chivalry of their house +denied to them the use of such protection. + +I have spoken something slightingly of the acquirements and doings +of the family; and indeed their acquirements had been few and their +doings little. At Allington, Dale of Allington had always been known +as a king. At Guestwick, the neighbouring market town, he was a +great man--to be seen frequently on Saturdays, standing in the +market-place, and laying down the law as to barley and oxen among +men who knew usually more about barley and oxen than did he. At +Hamersham, the assize town, he was generally in some repute, being +a constant grand juror for the county, and a man who paid his way. +But even at Hamersham the glory of the Dales had, at most periods, +begun to pale, for they had seldom been widely conspicuous in the +county, and had earned no great reputation by their knowledge of +jurisprudence in the grand jury room. Beyond Hamersham their fame had +not spread itself. + +They had been men generally built in the same mould, inheriting each +from his father the same virtues and the same vices,--men who would +have lived, each, as his father had lived before him, had not the new +ways of the world gradually drawn away with them, by an invisible +magnetism, the upcoming Dale of the day,--not indeed in any case +so moving him as to bring him up to the spirit of the age in which +he lived, but dragging him forward to a line in advance of that on +which his father had trodden. They had been obstinate men; believing +much in themselves; just according to their ideas of justice; hard +to their tenants--but not known to be hard even by the tenants +themselves, for the rules followed had ever been the rules on +the Allington estate; imperious to their wives and children, but +imperious within bounds, so that no Mrs. Dale had fled from her +lord's roof, and no loud scandals had existed between father and +sons; exacting in their ideas as to money, expecting that they were +to receive much and to give little, and yet not thought to be mean, +for they paid their way, and gave money in parish charity and in +county charity. They had ever been steady supporters of the Church, +graciously receiving into their parish such new vicars as, from time +to time, were sent to them from King's College, Cambridge, to which +establishment the gift of the living belonged;--but, nevertheless, +the Dales had ever carried on some unpronounced warfare against the +clergyman, so that the intercourse between the lay family and the +clerical had seldom been in all respects pleasant. + +Such had been the Dales of Allington, time out of mind, and such in +all respects would have been the Christopher Dale of our time, had he +not suffered two accidents in his youth. He had fallen in love with +a lady who obstinately refused his hand, and on her account he had +remained single; that was his first accident. The second had fallen +upon him with reference to his father's assumed wealth. He had +supposed himself to be richer than other Dales of Allington when +coming in upon his property, and had consequently entertained an +idea of sitting in Parliament for his county. In order that he might +attain this honour he had allowed himself to be talked by the men +of Hamersham and Guestwick out of his old family politics, and had +declared himself a Liberal. He had never gone to the poll, and, +indeed, had never actually stood for the seat. But he had come +forward as a liberal politician, and had failed; and, although it +was well known to all around that Christopher Dale was in heart as +thoroughly conservative as any of his forefathers, this accident had +made him sour and silent on the subject of politics, and had somewhat +estranged him from his brother squires. + +In other respects our Christopher Dale was, if anything, superior to +the average of the family. Those whom he did love he loved dearly. +Those whom he hated he did not ill-use beyond the limits of justice. +He was close in small matters of money, and yet in certain family +arrangements he was, as we shall see, capable of much liberality. He +endeavoured to do his duty in accordance with his lights, and had +succeeded in weaning himself from personal indulgences, to which +during the early days of his high hopes he had become accustomed. And +in that matter of his unrequited love he had been true throughout. +In his hard, dry, unpleasant way he had loved the woman; and when at +last he learned to know that she would not have his love, he had been +unable to transfer his heart to another. This had happened just at +the period of his father's death, and he had endeavoured to console +himself with politics, with what fate we have already seen. A +constant, upright, and by no means insincere man was our Christopher +Dale,--thin and meagre in his mental attributes, by no means even +understanding the fulness of a full man, with power of eye-sight very +limited in seeing aught which was above him, but yet worthy of regard +in that he had realized a path of duty and did endeavour to walk +therein. And, moreover, our Mr. Christopher Dale was a gentleman. + +Such in character was the squire of Allington, the only regular +inhabitant of the Great House. In person, he was a plain, dry man, +with short grizzled hair and thick grizzled eyebrows. Of beard, he +had very little, carrying the smallest possible gray whiskers, which +hardly fell below the points of his ears. His eyes were sharp and +expressive, and his nose was straight and well formed,--as was also +his chin. But the nobility of his face was destroyed by a mean mouth +with thin lips; and his forehead, which was high and narrow, though +it forbad you to take Mr. Dale for a fool, forbad you also to take +him for a man of great parts, or of a wide capacity. In height, he +was about five feet ten; and at the time of our story was as near to +seventy as he was to sixty. But years had treated him very lightly, +and he bore few signs of age. Such in person was Christopher Dale, +Esq., the squire of Allington, and owner of some three thousand a +year, all of which proceeded from the lands of that parish. + +And now I will speak of the Great House of Allington. After all, it +was not very great; nor was it surrounded by much of that exquisite +nobility of park appurtenance which graces the habitations of most of +our old landed proprietors. But the house itself was very graceful. +It had been built in the days of the early Stuarts, in that style of +architecture to which we give the name of the Tudors. On its front +it showed three pointed roofs, or gables, as I believe they should +be called; and between each gable a thin tall chimney stood, the two +chimneys thus raising themselves just above the three peaks I have +mentioned. I think that the beauty of the house depended much on +those two chimneys; on them, and on the mullioned windows with which +the front of the house was closely filled. The door, with its jutting +porch, was by no means in the centre of the house. As you entered, +there was but one window on your right hand, while on your left there +were three. And over these there was a line of five windows, one +taking its place above the porch. We all know the beautiful old +Tudor window, with its stout stone mullions and its stone transoms, +crossing from side to side at a point much nearer to the top than +to the bottom. Of all windows ever invented it is the sweetest. And +here, at Allington, I think their beauty was enhanced by the fact +that they were not regular in their shape. Some of these windows were +long windows, while some of them were high. That to the right of the +door, and that at the other extremity of the house, were among the +former. But the others had been put in without regard to uniformity, +a long window here, and a high window there, with a general effect +which could hardly have been improved. Then above, in the three +gables, were three other smaller apertures. But these also were +mullioned, and the entire frontage of the house was uniform in its +style. + +Round the house there were trim gardens, not very large, but worthy +of much note in that they were so trim,--gardens with broad gravel +paths, with one walk running in front of the house so broad as to +be fitly called a terrace. But this, though in front of the house, +was sufficiently removed from it to allow of a coach-road running +inside it to the front door. The Dales of Allington had always been +gardeners, and their garden was perhaps more noted in the county than +any other of their properties. But outside the gardens no pretensions +had been made to the grandeur of a domain. The pastures round the +house were but pretty fields, in which timber was abundant. There +was no deer-park at Allington; and though the Allington woods were +well known, they formed no portion of a whole of which the house was +a part. They lay away, out of sight, a full mile from the back of +the house; but not on that account of less avail for the fitting +preservation of foxes. + +And the house stood much too near the road for purposes of grandeur, +had such purposes ever swelled the breast of any of the squires of +Allington. But I fancy that our ideas of rural grandeur have altered +since many of our older country seats were built. To be near the +village, so as in some way to afford comfort, protection, and +patronage, and perhaps also with some view to the pleasantness of +neighbourhood for its own inmates, seemed to be the object of a +gentleman when building his house in the old days. A solitude in the +centre of a wide park is now the only site that can be recognized as +eligible. No cottage must be seen, unless the cottage orne of the +gardener. The village, if it cannot be abolished, must be got out of +sight. The sound of the church bells is not desirable, and the road +on which the profane vulgar travel by their own right must be at a +distance. When some old Dale of Allington built his house, he thought +differently. There stood the church and there the village, and, +pleased with such vicinity, he sat himself down close to his God and +to his tenants. + +As you pass along the road from Guestwick into the village you see +the church near to you on your left hand; but the house is hidden +from the road. As you approach the church, reaching the gate of it +which is not above two hundred yards from the high road, you see the +full front of the Great House. Perhaps the best view of it is from +the churchyard. The lane leading up to the church ends in a gate, +which is the entrance into Mr. Dale's place. There is no lodge there, +and the gate generally stands open,--indeed, always does so, unless +some need of cattle grazing within requires that it should be closed. +But there is an inner gate, leading from the home paddock through +the gardens to the house, and another inner gate, some thirty yards +farther on, which will take you into the farm-yard. Perhaps it is a +defect at Allington that the farm-yard is very close to the house. +But the stables, and the straw-yards, and the unwashed carts, and the +lazy lingering cattle of the homestead, are screened off by a row +of chestnuts, which, when in its glory of flower, in the early days +of May, no other row in England can surpass in beauty. Had any one +told Dale of Allington--this Dale or any former Dale--that his place +wanted wood, he would have pointed with mingled pride and disdain to +his belt of chestnuts. + +Of the church itself I will say the fewest possible number of +words. It was a church such as there are, I think, thousands in +England--low, incommodious, kept with difficulty in repair, too often +pervious to the wet, and yet strangely picturesque, and correct too, +according to great rules of architecture. It was built with a nave +and aisles, visibly in the form of a cross, though with its arms +clipped down to the trunk, with a separate chancel, with a large +square short tower, and with a bell-shaped spire, covered with lead +and irregular in its proportions. Who does not know the low porch, +the perpendicular Gothic window, the flat-roofed aisles, and the +noble old gray tower of such a church as this? As regards its +interior, it was dusty; it was blocked up with high-backed ugly pews; +the gallery in which the children sat at the end of the church, and +in which two ancient musicians blew their bassoons, was all awry, +and looked as though it would fall; the pulpit was an ugly useless +edifice, as high nearly as the roof would allow, and the reading-desk +under it hardly permitted the parson to keep his head free from the +dangling tassels of the cushion above him. A clerk also was there +beneath him, holding a third position somewhat elevated; and upon +the whole things there were not quite as I would have had them. But, +nevertheless, the place looked like a church, and I can hardly say +so much for all the modern edifices which have been built in my days +towards the glory of God. It looked like a church, and not the less +so because in walking up the passage between the pews the visitor +trod upon the brass plates which dignified the resting-places of the +departed Dales of old. + +Below the church, and between that and the village, stood the +vicarage, in such position that the small garden of the vicarage +stretched from the churchyard down to the backs of the village +cottages. This was a pleasant residence, newly built within the last +thirty years, and creditable to the ideas of comfort entertained by +the rich collegiate body from which the vicars of Allington always +came. Doubtless we shall in the course of our sojourn at Allington +visit the vicarage now and then, but I do not know that any further +detailed account of its comforts will be necessary to us. + +Passing by the lane leading to the vicarage, the church and to the +house, the high road descends rapidly to a little brook which runs +through the village. On the right as you descend you will have seen +the "Red Lion," and will have seen no other house conspicuous in any +way. At the bottom, close to the brook, is the post-office, kept +surely by the crossest old woman in all those parts. Here the road +passes through the water, the accommodation of a narrow wooden bridge +having been afforded for those on foot. But before passing the +stream, you will see a cross street, running to the left, as had run +that other lane leading to the house. Here, as this cross street +rises the hill, are the best houses in the village. The baker lives +here, and that respectable woman, Mrs. Frummage, who sells ribbons, +and toys, and soap, and straw bonnets, with many other things too +long to mention. Here, too, lives an apothecary, whom the veneration +of this and neighbouring parishes has raised to the dignity of a +doctor. And here also, in the smallest but prettiest cottage that can +be imagined, lives Mrs. Hearn, the widow of a former vicar, on terms, +however, with her neighbour the squire which I regret to say are not +as friendly as they should be. Beyond this lady's modest residence, +Allington Street, for so the road is called, turns suddenly round +towards the church, and at the point of the turn is a pretty low iron +railing with a gate, and with a covered way, which leads up to the +front door of the house which stands there. I will only say here, at +this fag end of a chapter, that it is the Small House at Allington. +Allington Street, as I have said, turns short round towards the +church at this point, and there ends at a white gate, leading into +the churchyard by a second entrance. + +So much it was needful that I should say of Allington Great House, +of the Squire, and of the village. Of the Small House, I will speak +separately in a further chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE TWO PEARLS OF ALLINGTON. + + +"But Mr. Crosbie is only a mere clerk." + +This sarcastic condemnation was spoken by Miss Lilian Dale to her +sister Isabella, and referred to a gentleman with whom we shall have +much concern in these pages. I do not say that Mr. Crosbie will be +our hero, seeing that that part in the drama will be cut up, as it +were, into fragments. Whatever of the magnificent may be produced +will be diluted and apportioned out in very moderate quantities among +two or more, probably among three or four, young gentlemen--to none +of whom will be vouchsafed the privilege of much heroic action. + +"I don't know what you call a mere clerk, Lily. Mr. Fanfaron is a +mere barrister, and Mr. Boyce is a mere clergyman." Mr. Boyce was the +vicar of Allington, and Mr. Fanfaron was a lawyer who had made his +way over to Allington during the last assizes. "You might as well say +that Lord De Guest is a mere earl." + +"So he is--only a mere earl. Had he ever done anything except have +fat oxen, one wouldn't say so. You know what I mean by a mere clerk? +It isn't much in a man to be in a public office, and yet Mr. Crosbie +gives himself airs." + +"You don't suppose that Mr. Crosbie is the same as John Eames," said +Bell, who, by her tone of voice, did not seem inclined to undervalue +the qualifications of Mr. Crosbie. Now John Eames was a young +man from Guestwick, who had been appointed to a clerkship in the +Income-tax Office, with eighty pounds a year, two years ago. + +"Then Johnny Eames is a mere clerk," said Lily; "and Mr. Crosbie +is-- After all, Bell, what is Mr. Crosbie, if he is not a mere clerk? +Of course, he is older than John Eames; and, as he has been longer at +it, I suppose he has more than eighty pounds a year." + +"I am not in Mr. Crosbie's confidence. He is in the General Committee +Office, I know; and, I believe, has pretty nearly the management of +the whole of it. I have heard Bernard say that he has six or seven +young men under him, and that--; but, of course, I don't know what he +does at his office." + +"I'll tell you what he is, Bell; Mr. Crosbie is a swell." And Lilian +Dale was right; Mr. Crosbie was a swell. + +And here I may perhaps best explain who Bernard was, and who was +Mr. Crosbie. Captain Bernard Dale was an officer in the corps of +Engineers, was the first cousin of the two girls who have been +speaking, and was nephew and heir presumptive to the squire. His +father, Colonel Dale, and his mother, Lady Fanny Dale, were still +living at Torquay--an effete, invalid, listless couple, pretty well +dead to all the world beyond the region of the Torquay card-tables. +He it was who had made for himself quite a career in the Nineteenth +Dragoons. This he did by eloping with the penniless daughter of that +impoverished earl, the Lord De Guest. After the conclusion of that +event circumstances had not afforded him the opportunity of making +himself conspicuous; and he had gone on declining gradually in the +world's esteem--for the world had esteemed him when he first made +good his running with the Lady Fanny--till now, in his slippered +years, he and his Lady Fanny were unknown except among those Torquay +Bath chairs and card-tables. His elder brother was still a hearty +man, walking in thick shoes, and constant in his saddle; but the +colonel, with nothing beyond his wife's title to keep his body awake, +had fallen asleep somewhat prematurely among his slippers. Of him and +of Lady Fanny, Bernard Dale was the only son. Daughters they had had; +some were dead, some married, and one living with them among the +card-tables. Of his parents Bernard had latterly not seen much; not +more, that is, than duty and a due attention to the fifth commandment +required of him. He also was making a career for himself, having +obtained a commission in the Engineers, and being known to all his +compeers as the nephew of an earl, and as the heir to a property +of three thousand a year. And when I say that Bernard Dale was not +inclined to throw away any of these advantages, I by no means intend +to speak in his dispraise. The advantage of being heir to a good +property is so manifest--the advantages over and beyond those which +are merely fiscal--that no man thinks of throwing them away, or +expects another man to do so. Moneys in possession or in expectation +do give a set to the head, and a confidence to the voice, and an +assurance to the man, which will help him much in his walk in +life--if the owner of them will simply use them, and not abuse them. +And for Bernard Dale I will say that he did not often talk of his +uncle the earl. He was conscious that his uncle was an earl, and that +other men knew the fact. He knew that he would not otherwise have +been elected at the Beaufort, or at that most aristocratic of little +clubs called Sebright's. When noble blood was called in question he +never alluded specially to his own, but he knew how to speak as one +of whom all the world was aware on which side he had been placed by +the circumstances of his birth. Thus he used his advantage, and did +not abuse it. And in his profession he had been equally fortunate. +By industry, by a small but wakeful intelligence, and by some aid +from patronage, he had got on till he had almost achieved the +reputation of talent. His name had become known among scientific +experimentalists, not as that of one who had himself invented a +cannon or an antidote to a cannon, but as of a man understanding +in cannons and well fitted to look at those invented by others; +who would honestly test this or that antidote; or, if not honestly, +seeing that such thin-minded men can hardly go to the proof of any +matter without some pre-judgment in their minds, at any rate with +such appearance of honesty that the world might be satisfied. And in +this way Captain Dale was employed much at home, about London; and +was not called on to build barracks in Nova Scotia, or to make roads +in the Punjaub. + +He was a small slight man, smaller than his uncle, but in face very +like him. He had the same eyes, and nose, and chin, and the same +mouth; but his forehead was better,--less high and pointed, and +better formed about the brows. And then he wore moustaches, which +somewhat hid the thinness of his mouth. On the whole, he was not +ill-looking; and, as I have said before, he carried with him an air +of self-assurance and a confident balance, which in itself gives a +grace to a young man. + +He was staying at the present time in his uncle's house, during the +delicious warmth of the summer,--for, as yet, the month of July was +not all past; and his intimate friend, Adolphus Crosbie, who was +or was not a mere clerk as my readers may choose to form their own +opinions on that matter, was a guest in the house with him. I am +inclined to say that Adolphus Crosbie was not a mere clerk; and I +do not think that he would have been so called, even by Lily Dale, +had he not given signs to her that he was a "swell." Now a man in +becoming a swell,--a swell of such an order as could possibly be +known to Lily Dale,--must have ceased to be a mere clerk in that very +process. And, moreover, Captain Dale would not have been Damon to any +Pythias, of whom it might fairly be said that he was a mere clerk. +Nor could any mere clerk have got himself in either at the Beaufort +or at Sebright's. The evidence against that former assertion made +by Lily Dale is very strong; but then the evidence as to her latter +assertion is as strong. Mr. Crosbie certainly was a swell. It is true +that he was a clerk in the General Committee Office. But then, in the +first place, the General Committee Office is situated in Whitehall; +whereas poor John Eames was forced to travel daily from his lodgings +in Burton Crescent, ever so far beyond Russell Square, to his dingy +room in Somerset House. And Adolphus Crosbie, when very young, had +been a private secretary, and had afterwards mounted up in his office +to some quasi authority and senior-clerkship, bringing him in seven +hundred a year, and giving him a status among assistant secretaries +and the like, which even in an official point of view was something. +But the triumphs of Adolphus Crosbie had been other than these. Not +because he had been intimate with assistant secretaries, and was +allowed in Whitehall a room to himself with an arm-chair, would he +have been entitled to stand upon the rug at Sebright's and speak +while rich men listened,--rich men, and men also who had handles to +their names! Adolphus Crosbie had done more than make minutes with +discretion on the papers of the General Committee Office. He had set +himself down before the gates of the city of fashion, and had taken +them by storm; or, perhaps, to speak with more propriety, he had +picked the locks and let himself in. In his walks of life he was +somebody in London. A man at the West End who did not know who was +Adolphus Crosbie knew nothing. I do not say that he was the intimate +friend of many great men; but even great men acknowledged the +acquaintance of Adolphus Crosbie, and he was to be seen in the +drawing-rooms, or at any rate on the staircases, of Cabinet +Ministers. + +Lilian Dale, dear Lily Dale--for my reader must know that she is to +be very dear, and that my story will be nothing to him if he do not +love Lily Dale--Lilian Dale had discovered that Mr. Crosbie was a +swell. But I am bound to say that Mr. Crosbie did not habitually +proclaim the fact in any offensive manner; nor in becoming a swell +had he become altogether a bad fellow. It was not to be expected +that a man who was petted at Sebright's should carry himself in the +Allington drawing-room as would Johnny Eames, who had never been +petted by any one but his mother. And this fraction of a hero of ours +had other advantages to back him, over and beyond those which fashion +had given him. He was a tall, well-looking man, with pleasant eyes +and an expressive mouth,--a man whom you would probably observe in +whatever room you might meet him. And he knew how to talk, and had +in him something which justified talking. He was no butterfly or +dandy, who flew about in the world's sun, warmed into prettiness +by a sunbeam. Crosbie had his opinion on things,--on politics, on +religion, on the philanthropic tendencies of the age, and had read +something here and there as he formed his opinion. Perhaps he might +have done better in the world had he not been placed so early in life +in that Whitehall public office. There was that in him which might +have earned better bread for him in an open profession. + +But in that matter of his bread the fate of Adolphus Crosbie had by +this time been decided for him, and he had reconciled himself to fate +that was now inexorable. Some very slight patrimony, a hundred a year +or so, had fallen to his share. Beyond that he had his salary from +his office, and nothing else; and on his income, thus made up, he had +lived as a bachelor in London, enjoying all that London could give +him as a man in moderately easy circumstances, and looking forward to +no costly luxuries,--such as a wife, a house of his own, or a stable +full of horses. Those which he did enjoy of the good things of the +world would, if known to John Eames, have made him appear fabulously +rich in the eyes of that brother clerk. His lodgings in Mount Street +were elegant in their belongings. During three months of the season +in London he called himself the master of a very neat hack. He was +always well dressed, though never over-dressed. At his clubs he could +live on equal terms with men having ten times his income. He was +not married. He had acknowledged to himself that he could not marry +without money; and he would not marry for money. He had put aside +from him, as not within his reach, the comforts of marriage. But-- We +will not, however, at the present moment inquire more curiously +into the private life and circumstances of our new friend Adolphus +Crosbie. + +After the sentence pronounced against him by Lilian, the two girls +remained silent for awhile. Bell was, perhaps, a little angry with +her sister. It was not often that she allowed herself to say much +in praise of any gentleman; and, now that she had spoken a word or +two in favour of Mr. Crosbie, she felt herself to be rebuked by her +sister for this unwonted enthusiasm. Lily was at work on a drawing, +and in a minute or two had forgotten all about Mr. Crosbie; but the +injury remained on Bell's mind, and prompted her to go back to the +subject. "I don't like those slang words, Lily." + +"What slang words?" + +"You know what you called Bernard's friend." + +"Oh; a swell. I fancy I do like slang. I think it's awfully jolly to +talk about things being jolly. Only that I was afraid of your nerves +I should have called him stunning. It's so slow, you know, to use +nothing but words out of a dictionary." + +"I don't think it's nice in talking of gentlemen." + +"Isn't it? Well, I'd like to be nice--if I knew how." + +If she knew how! There is no knowing how, for a girl, in that matter. +If nature and her mother have not done it for her, there is no hope +for her on that head. I think I may say that nature and her mother +had been sufficiently efficacious for Lilian Dale in this respect. + +"Mr. Crosbie is, at any rate, a gentleman, and knows how to make +himself pleasant. That was all that I meant. Mamma said a great deal +more about him than I did." + +"Mr. Crosbie is an Apollo; and I always look upon Apollo as the +greatest--you know what--that ever lived. I mustn't say the word, +because Apollo was a gentleman." + +At this moment, while the name of the god was still on her lips, +the high open window of the drawing-room was darkened, and Bernard +entered, followed by Mr. Crosbie. + +"Who is talking about Apollo?" said Captain Dale. + +The girls were both stricken dumb. How would it be with them if Mr. +Crosbie had heard himself spoken of in those last words of poor +Lily's? This was the rashness of which Bell was ever accusing her +sister, and here was the result! But, in truth, Bernard had heard +nothing more than the name, and Mr. Crosbie, who had been behind him, +had heard nothing. + +"'As sweet and musical as bright Apollo's lute, strung with his +hair,'" said Mr. Crosbie, not meaning much by the quotation, but +perceiving that the two girls had been in some way put out and +silenced. + +"What very bad music it must have made," said Lily; "unless, indeed, +his hair was very different from ours." + +"It was all sunbeams," suggested Bernard. But by that time Apollo had +served his turn, and the ladies welcomed their guests in the proper +form. + +"Mamma is in the garden," said Bell, with that hypocritical pretence +so common with young ladies when young gentlemen call; as though they +were aware that mamma was the object specially sought. + +"Picking peas, with a sun-bonnet on," said Lily. + +"Let us by all means go and help her," said Mr. Crosbie; and then +they issued out into the garden. + +The gardens of the Great House of Allington and those of the Small +House open on to each other. A proper boundary of thick laurel hedge, +and wide ditch, and of iron spikes guarding the ditch, there is +between them; but over the wide ditch there is a foot-bridge, and at +the bridge there is a gate which has no key; and for all purposes of +enjoyment the gardens of each house are open to the other. And the +gardens of the Small House are very pretty. The Small House itself +is so near the road that there is nothing between the dining-room +windows and the iron rail but a narrow edge rather than border, and +a little path made with round fixed cobble stones, not above two +feet broad, into which no one but the gardener ever makes his way. +The distance from the road to the house is not above five or six +feet, and the entrance from the gate is shut in by a covered way. +But the garden behind the house, on to which the windows from the +drawing-room open, is to all the senses as private as though there +were no village of Allington, and no road up to the church within a +hundred yards of the lawn. The steeple of the church, indeed, can be +seen from the lawn, peering, as it were, between the yew-trees which +stand in the corner of the churchyard adjoining to Mrs. Dale's wall. +But none of the Dale family have any objection to the sight of that +steeple. The glory of the Small House at Allington certainly consists +in its lawn, which is as smooth, as level, and as much like velvet as +grass has ever yet been made to look. Lily Dale, taking pride in her +own lawn, has declared often that it is no good attempting to play +croquet up at the Great House. The grass, she says, grows in tufts, +and nothing that Hopkins, the gardener, can or will do has any effect +upon the tufts. But there are no tufts at the Small House. As the +squire himself has never been very enthusiastic about croquet, the +croquet implements have been moved permanently down to the Small +House, and croquet there has become quite an institution. + +And while I am on the subject of the garden I may also mention Mrs. +Dale's conservatory, as to which Bell was strenuously of opinion that +the Great House had nothing to offer equal to it--"For flowers, of +course, I mean," she would say, correcting herself; for at the Great +House there was a grapery very celebrated. On this matter the squire +would be less tolerant than as regarded the croquet, and would tell +his niece that she knew nothing about flowers. "Perhaps not, uncle +Christopher," she would say. "All the same, I like our geraniums +best;" for there was a spice of obstinacy about Miss Dale,--as, +indeed, there was in all the Dales, male and female, young and old. + +It may be as well to explain that the care of this lawn and of this +conservatory, and, indeed, of the entire garden belonging to the +Small House, was in the hands of Hopkins, the head gardener to the +Great House; and it was so simply for this reason, that Mrs. Dale +could not afford to keep a gardener herself. A working lad, at ten +shillings a week, who cleaned the knives and shoes, and dug the +ground, was the only male attendant on the three ladies. But Hopkins, +the head gardener of Allington, who had men under him, was as widely +awake to the lawn and the conservatory of the humbler establishment +as he was to the grapery, peach-walls, and terraces of the grander +one. In his eyes it was all one place. The Small House belonged to +his master, as indeed did the very furniture within it; and it was +lent, not let, to Mrs. Dale. Hopkins, perhaps, did not love Mrs. +Dale, seeing that he owed her no duty as one born a Dale. The two +young ladies he did love, and also snubbed in a very peremptory way +sometimes. To Mrs. Dale he was coldly civil, always referring to the +squire if any direction worthy of special notice as concerning the +garden was given to him. + +All this will serve to explain the terms on which Mrs. Dale was +living at the Small House,--a matter needful of explanation sooner or +later. Her husband had been the youngest of three brothers, and in +many respects the brightest. Early in life he had gone up to London, +and there had done well as a land surveyor. He had done so well that +Government had employed him, and for some three or four years he had +enjoyed a large income, but death had come suddenly on him, while he +was only yet ascending the ladder; and, when he died, he had hardly +begun to realize the golden prospects which he had seen before him. +This had happened some fifteen years before our story commenced, so +that the two girls hardly retained any memory of their father. For +the first five years of her widowhood, Mrs. Dale, who had never been +a favourite of the squire's, lived with her two little girls in +such modest way as her very limited means allowed. Old Mrs. Dale, +the squire's mother, then occupied the Small House. But when old +Mrs. Dale died, the squire offered the place rent-free to his +sister-in-law, intimating to her that her daughters would obtain +considerable social advantages by living at Allington. She had +accepted the offer, and the social advantages had certainly followed. +Mrs. Dale was poor, her whole income not exceeding three hundred a +year, and therefore her own style of living was of necessity very +unassuming; but she saw her girls becoming popular in the county, +much liked by the families around them, and enjoying nearly all +the advantages which would have accrued to them had they been the +daughters of Squire Dale of Allington. Under such circumstances it +was little to her whether or no she were loved by her brother-in-law, +or respected by Hopkins. Her own girls loved her, and respected her, +and that was pretty much all that she demanded of the world on her +own behalf. + +And uncle Christopher had been very good to the girls in his own +obstinate and somewhat ungracious manner. There were two ponies in +the stables of the Great House, which they were allowed to ride, and +which, unless on occasions, nobody else did ride. I think he might +have given the ponies to the girls, but he thought differently. And +he contributed to their dresses, sending them home now and again +things which he thought necessary, not in the pleasantest way in the +world. Money he never gave them, nor did he make them any promises. +But they were Dales, and he loved them; and with Christopher Dale to +love once was to love always. Bell was his chief favourite, sharing +with his nephew Bernard the best warmth of his heart. About these +two he had his projects, intending that Bell should be the future +mistress of the Great House of Allington; as to which project, +however, Miss Dale was as yet in very absolute ignorance. + +We may now, I think, go back to our four friends, as they walked out +upon the lawn. They were understood to be on a mission to assist Mrs. +Dale in the picking of the peas; but pleasure intervened in the way +of business, and the young people, forgetting the labours of their +elder, allowed themselves to be carried away by the fascinations of +croquet. The iron hoops and the sticks were fixed. The mallets and +the balls were lying about; and then the party was so nicely made up! +"I haven't had a game of croquet yet," said Mr. Crosbie. It cannot +be said that he had lost much time, seeing that he had only arrived +before dinner on the preceding day. And then the mallets were in +their hands in a moment. + +"We'll play sides, of course," said Lily. "Bernard and I'll play +together." But this was not allowed. Lily was well known to be the +queen of the croquet ground; and as Bernard was supposed to be more +efficient than his friend, Lily had to take Mr. Crosbie as her +partner. "Apollo can't get through the hoops," Lily said afterwards +to her sister; "but then how gracefully he fails to do it!" Lily, +however, had been beaten, and may therefore be excused for a little +spite against her partner. But it so turned out that before Mr. +Crosbie took his final departure from Allington he could get through +the hoops; and Lily, though she was still queen of the croquet +ground, had to acknowledge a male sovereign in that dominion. + +"That's not the way we played at--," said Crosbie, at one point of +the game, and then stopped himself. + +"Where was that?" said Bernard. + +"A place I was at last summer,--in Shropshire." + +"Then they don't play the game, Mr. Crosbie, at the place you were at +last summer,--in Shropshire," said Lily. + +"You mean Lady Hartletop's," said Bernard. Now, the Marchioness +of Hartletop was a very great person indeed, and a leader in the +fashionable world. + +"Oh! Lady Hartletop's!" said Lily. "Then I suppose we must give in;" +which little bit of sarcasm was not lost upon Mr. Crosbie, and was +put down by him in the tablets of his mind as quite undeserved. +He had endeavoured to avoid any mention of Lady Hartletop and her +croquet ground, and her ladyship's name had been forced upon him. +Nevertheless, he liked Lily Dale through it all. But he thought that +he liked Bell the best, though she said little; for Bell was the +beauty of the family. + +During the game Bernard remembered that they had especially come over +to bid the three ladies to dinner at the house on that day. They had +all dined there on the day before, and the girls' uncle had now sent +directions to them to come again. "I'll go and ask mamma about it," +said Bell, who was out first. And then she returned, saying, that she +and her sister would obey their uncle's behest; but that her mother +would prefer to remain at home. "There are the peas to be eaten, you +know," said Lily. + +"Send them up to the Great House," said Bernard. + +"Hopkins would not allow it," said Lily. "He calls that a mixing of +things. Hopkins doesn't like mixings." And then when the game was +over, they sauntered about, out of the small garden into the larger +one, and through the shrubberies, and out upon the fields, where they +found the still lingering remnants of the haymaking. And Lily took a +rake, and raked for two minutes; and Mr. Crosbie, making an attempt +to pitch the hay into the cart, had to pay half-a-crown for his +footing to the haymakers; and Bell sat quiet under a tree, mindful +of her complexion; whereupon Mr. Crosbie, finding the hay-pitching +not much to his taste, threw himself under the same tree also, quite +after the manner of Apollo, as Lily said to her mother late in the +evening. Then Bernard covered Lily with hay, which was a great feat +in the jocose way for him; and Lily in returning the compliment, +almost smothered Mr. Crosbie,--by accident. + +"Oh, Lily," said Bell. + +"I'm sure I beg your pardon, Mr. Crosbie. It was Bernard's fault. +Bernard, I never will come into a hayfield with you again." And so +they all became very intimate; while Bell sat quietly under the tree, +listening to a word or two now and then as Mr. Crosbie chose to speak +them. There is a kind of enjoyment to be had in society, in which +very few words are necessary. Bell was less vivacious than her sister +Lily; and when, an hour after this, she was dressing herself for +dinner, she acknowledged that she had passed a pleasant afternoon, +though Mr. Crosbie had not said very much. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +THE WIDOW DALE OF ALLINGTON. + + +As Mrs. Dale, of the Small House, was not a Dale by birth, there +can be no necessity for insisting on the fact that none of the +Dale peculiarities should be sought for in her character. These +peculiarities were not, perhaps, very conspicuous in her daughters, +who had taken more in that respect from their mother than from their +father; but a close observer might recognize the girls as Dales. They +were constant, perhaps obstinate, occasionally a little uncharitable +in their judgment, and prone to think that there was a great deal +in being a Dale, though not prone to say much about it. But they +had also a better pride than this, which had come to them as their +mother's heritage. + +Mrs. Dale was certainly a proud woman,--not that there was anything +appertaining to herself in which she took a pride. In birth she had +been much lower than her husband, seeing that her grandfather had +been almost nobody. Her fortune had been considerable for her rank +in life, and on its proceeds she now mainly depended; but it had not +been sufficient to give any of the pride of wealth. And she had been +a beauty; according to my taste, was still very lovely; but certainly +at this time of life, she, a widow of fifteen years' standing, with +two grown-up daughters, took no pride in her beauty. Nor had she +any conscious pride in the fact that she was a lady. That she was a +lady, inwards and outwards, from the crown of her head to the sole +of her feet, in head, in heart, and in mind, a lady by education and +a lady by nature, a lady also by birth in spite of that deficiency +respecting her grandfather, I hereby state as a fact--meo periculo. +And the squire, though he had no special love for her, had recognized +this, and in all respects treated her as his equal. + +But her position was one which required that she should either be +very proud or else very humble. She was poor, and yet her daughters +moved in a position which belongs, as a rule, to the daughters of +rich men only. This they did as nieces of the childless squire of +Allington, and as his nieces she felt that they were entitled to +accept his countenance and kindness, without loss of self-respect +either to her or to them. She would have ill done her duty as a +mother to them had she allowed any pride of her own to come between +them and such advantage in the world as their uncle might be able to +give them. On their behalf she had accepted the loan of the house in +which she lived, and the use of many of the appurtenances belonging +to her brother-in-law; but on her own account she had accepted +nothing. Her marriage with Philip Dale had been disliked by his +brother the squire, and the squire, while Philip was still living, +had continued to show that his feelings in this respect were not +to be overcome. They never had been overcome; and now, though the +brother-in-law and sister-in-law had been close neighbours for years, +living as one may say almost in the same family, they had never +become friends. There had not been a word of quarrel between them. +They met constantly. The squire had unconsciously come to entertain a +profound respect for his brother's widow. The widow had acknowledged +to herself the truth of the affection shown by the uncle to her +daughters. But yet they had never come together as friends. Of her +own money matters Mrs. Dale had never spoken a word to the squire. +Of his intention respecting the girls the squire had never spoken a +word to the mother. And in this way they had lived and were living at +Allington. + +The life which Mrs. Dale led was not altogether an easy life,--was +not devoid of much painful effort on her part. The theory of her life +one may say was this--that she should bury herself in order that +her daughters might live well above ground. And in order to carry +out this theory, it was necessary that she should abstain from all +complaint or show of uneasiness before her girls. Their life above +ground would not be well if they understood that their mother, in +this underground life of hers, was enduring any sacrifice on their +behalf. It was needful that they should think that the picking of +peas in a sun-bonnet, or long readings by her own fire-side, and +solitary hours spent in thinking, were specially to her mind. "Mamma +doesn't like going out." "I don't think mamma is happy anywhere out +of her own drawing-room." I do not say that the girls were taught to +say such words, but they were taught to have thoughts which led to +such words, and in the early days of their going out into the world +used so to speak of their mother. But a time came to them before +long,--to one first and then to the other, in which they knew that +it was not so, and knew also all that their mother had suffered for +their sakes. + +And in truth Mrs. Dale could have been as young in heart as they +were. She, too, could have played croquet, and have coquetted with +a haymaker's rake, and have delighted in her pony, ay, and have +listened to little nothings from this and that Apollo, had she +thought that things had been conformable thereto. Women at forty do +not become ancient misanthropes, or stern Rhadamanthine moralists, +indifferent to the world's pleasures--no, not even though they be +widows. There are those who think that such should be the phase of +their minds. I profess that I do not so think. I would have women, +and men also, young as long as they can be young. It is not that a +woman should call herself in years younger than her father's family +Bible will have her to be. Let her who is forty call herself forty; +but if she can be young in spirit at forty, let her show that she is +so. + +I think that Mrs. Dale was wrong. She would have joined that party on +the croquet ground, instead of remaining among the pea-sticks in her +sun-bonnet, had she done as I would have counselled her. Not a word +was spoken among the four that she did not hear. Those pea-sticks +were only removed from the lawn by a low wall and a few shrubs. She +listened, not as one suspecting, but simply as one loving. The voices +of her girls were very dear to her, and the silver ringing tones of +Lily's tongue were as sweet to her ears as the music of the gods. She +heard all that about Lady Hartletop, and shuddered at Lily's bold +sarcasm. And she heard Lily say that mamma would stay at home and +eat the peas, and said to herself sadly that that was now her lot in +life. + +"Dear darling girl,--and so it should be!" + +It was thus her thoughts ran. And then, when her ear had traced them, +as they passed across the little bridge into the other grounds, she +returned across the lawn to the house with her burden on her arm, +and sat herself down on the step of the drawing-room window, looking +out on the sweet summer flowers and the smooth surface of the grass +before her. + +Had not God done well for her to place her where she was? Had not her +lines been set for her in pleasant places? Was she not happy in her +girls,--her sweet, loving, trusting, trusty children? As it was to be +that her lord, that best half of herself, was to be taken from her in +early life, and that the springs of all the lighter pleasures were to +be thus stopped for her, had it not been well that in her bereavement +so much had been done to soften her lot in life and give it grace and +beauty? 'Twas so, she argued with herself, and yet she acknowledged +to herself that she was not happy. She had resolved, as she herself +had said often, to put away childish things, and now she pined for +those things which she so put from her. As she sat she could still +hear Lily's voice as they went through the shrubbery,--hear it when +none but a mother's ears would have distinguished the sound. Now +that those young men were at the Great House it was natural that her +girls should be there too. The squire would not have had young men to +stay with him had there been no ladies to grace his table. But for +her,--she knew that no one would want her there. Now and again she +must go, as otherwise her very existence, without going, would be a +thing disagreeably noticeable. But there was no other reason why she +should join the party; nor in joining it would she either give or +receive pleasure. Let her daughters eat from her brother's table and +drink of his cup. They were made welcome to do so from the heart. For +her there was no such welcome as that at the Great House,--nor at any +other house, or any other table! + +"Mamma will stay at home to eat the peas." + +And then she repeated to herself the words which Lily had spoken, +sitting there, leaning with her elbow on her knee, and her head upon +her hand. + +"Please, ma'am, cook says, can we have the peas to shell?" and then +her reverie was broken. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Please, ma'am, can we have the peas to shell?"] + + +Whereupon Mrs. Dale got up and gave over her basket. "Cook knows that +the young ladies are going to dine at the Great House?" + +"Yes, ma'am." + +"She needn't mind getting dinner for me. I will have tea early." And +so, after all, Mrs. Dale did not perform that special duty appointed +for her. + +But she soon set herself to work upon another duty. When a family +of three persons has to live upon an income of three hundred a year, +and, nevertheless, makes some pretence of going into society, it has +to be very mindful of small details, even though that family may +consist only of ladies. Of this Mrs. Dale was well aware, and as +it pleased her that her daughters should be nice and fresh, and +pretty in their attire, many a long hour was given up to that care. +The squire would send them shawls in winter, and had given them +riding habits, and had sent them down brown silk for dresses from +London,--so limited in quantity that the due manufacture of two +dresses out of the material had been found to be beyond the art of +woman, and the brown silk garments had been a difficulty from that +day to this,--the squire having a good memory in such matters, and +being anxious to see the fruits of his liberality. All this was +doubtless of assistance, but had the squire given the amount which +he so expended in money to his nieces, the benefit would have been +greater. As it was, the girls were always nice and fresh and pretty, +they themselves not being idle in that matter; but their tire-woman +in chief was their mother. And now she went up to their room and got +out their muslin frocks, and--but, perhaps, I should not tell such +tales!--She, however, felt no shame in her work, as she sent for a +hot iron, and with her own hands smoothed out the creases, and gave +the proper set to the crimp flounces, and fixed a new ribbon where +it was wanted, and saw that all was as it should be. Men think but +little how much of this kind is endured that their eyes may be +pleased, even though it be but for an hour. + +"Oh! mamma, how good you are," said Bell, as the two girls came in, +only just in time to make themselves ready for returning to dinner. + +"Mamma is always good," said Lily. "I wish, mamma, I could do the +same for you oftener," and then she kissed her mother. But the squire +was exact about dinner, so they dressed themselves in haste, and went +off again through the garden, their mother accompanying them to the +little bridge. + +"Your uncle did not seem vexed at my not coming?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"We have not seen him, mamma," said Lily. "We have been ever so far +down the fields, and forgot altogether what o'clock it was." + +"I don't think uncle Christopher was about the place, or we should +have met him," said Bell. + +"But I am vexed with you, mamma. Are not you, Bell? It is very bad of +you to stay here all alone, and not come." + +"I suppose mamma likes being at home better than up at the Great +House," said Bell, very gently; and as she spoke she was holding her +mother's hand. + +"Well; good-by, dears. I shall expect you between ten and eleven. But +don't hurry yourselves if anything is going on." And so they went, +and the widow was again alone. The path from the bridge ran straight +up towards the back of the Great House, so that for a moment or two +she could see them as they tripped on almost in a run. And then she +saw their dresses flutter as they turned sharp round, up the terrace +steps. She would not go beyond the nook among the laurels by which +she was surrounded, lest any one should see her as she looked after +her girls. But when the last flutter of the pink muslin had been +whisked away from her sight, she felt it hard that she might not +follow them. She stood there, however, without advancing a step. She +would not have Hopkins telling how she watched her daughters as they +went from her own home to that of her brother-in-law. It was not +within the capacity of Hopkins to understand why she watched them. + +"Well, girls, you're not much too soon. I think your mother might +have come with you," said uncle Christopher. And this was the manner +of the man. Had he known his own wishes he must have acknowledged to +himself that he was better pleased that Mrs. Dale should stay away. +He felt himself more absolutely master and more comfortably at +home at his own table without her company than with it. And yet he +frequently made a grievance of her not coming, and himself believed +in that grievance. + +"I think mamma was tired," said Bell. + +"Hem. It's not so very far across from one house to the other. If I +were to shut myself up whenever I'm tired-- But never mind. Let's +go to dinner. Mr. Crosbie, will you take my niece Lilian." And then, +offering his own arm to Bell, he walked off to the dining-room. + +"If he scolds mamma any more, I'll go away," said Lily to her +companion; by which it may be seen that they had all become very +intimate during the long day that they had passed together. + +Mrs. Dale, after remaining for a moment on the bridge, went in to her +tea. What succedaneum of mutton chop or broiled ham she had for the +roast duck and green peas which were to have been provided for the +family dinner we will not particularly inquire. We may, however, +imagine that she did not devote herself to her evening repast with +any peculiar energy of appetite. She took a book with her as she sat +herself down,--some novel, probably, for Mrs. Dale was not above +novels,--and read a page or two as she sipped her tea. But the book +was soon laid on one side, and the tray on which the warm plate had +become cold was neglected, and she threw herself back in her own +familiar chair, thinking of herself, and of her girls, and thinking +also what might have been her lot in life had he lived who had loved +her truly during the few years that they had been together. + +It is especially the nature of a Dale to be constant in his likings +and his dislikings. Her husband's affection for her had been +unswerving,--so much so that he had quarrelled with his brother +because his brother would not express himself in brotherly terms +about his wife; but, nevertheless, the two brothers had loved each +other always. Many years had now gone by since these things had +occurred, but still the same feelings remained. When she had first +come down to Allington she had resolved to win the squire's regard, +but she had now long known that any such winning was out of the +question; indeed, there was no longer a wish for it. Mrs. Dale was +not one of those soft-hearted women who sometimes thank God that +they can love any one. She could once have felt affection for her +brother-in-law,--affection, and close, careful, sisterly friendship; +but she could not do so now. He had been cold to her, and had with +perseverance rejected her advances. That was now seven years since; +and during those years Mrs. Dale had been, at any rate, as cold to +him as he had been to her. + +But all this was very hard to bear. That her daughters should love +their uncle was not only reasonable, but in every way desirable. He +was not cold to them. To them he was generous and affectionate. If +she were only out of the way, he would have taken them to his house +as his own, and they would in all respects have stood before the +world as his adopted children. Would it not be better if she were out +of the way? + +It was only in her most dismal moods that this question would get +itself asked within her mind, and then she would recover herself, and +answer it stoutly with an indignant protest against her own morbid +weakness. It would not be well that she should be away from her +girls,--not though their uncle should have been twice a better uncle; +not though, by her absence, they might become heiresses of all +Allington. Was it not above everything to them that they should +have a mother near them? And as she asked of herself that morbid +question,--wickedly asked it, as she declared to herself,--did she +not know that they loved her better than all the world beside, and +would prefer her caresses and her care to the guardianship of any +uncle, let his house be ever so great? As yet they loved her better +than all the world beside. Of other love, should it come, she would +not be jealous. And if it should come, and should be happy, might +there not yet be a bright evening of life for herself? If they should +marry, and if their lords would accept her love, her friendship, and +her homage, she might yet escape from the deathlike coldness of that +Great House, and be happy in some tiny cottage, from which she might +go forth at times among those who would really welcome her. A certain +doctor there was, living not very far from Allington, at Guestwick, +as to whom she had once thought that he might fill that place of +son-in-law,--to be well-beloved. Her quiet, beautiful Bell had seemed +to like the man; and he had certainly done more than seem to like +her. But now, for some weeks past, this hope, or rather this idea, +had faded away. Mrs. Dale had never questioned her daughter on the +matter; she was not a woman prone to put such questions. But during +the month or two last past, she had seen with regret that Bell looked +almost coldly on the man whom her mother favoured. + +In thinking of all this the long evening passed away, and at eleven +o'clock she heard the coming steps across the garden. The young men +had, of course, accompanied the girls home; and as she stepped out +from the still open window of her own drawing-room, she saw them all +on the centre of the lawn before her. + +"There's mamma," said Lily. "Mamma, Mr. Crosbie wants to play croquet +by moonlight." + +"I don't think there is light enough for that," said Mrs. Dale. + +"There is light enough for him," said Lily, "for he plays quite +independently of the hoops; don't you, Mr. Crosbie?" + +"There's very pretty croquet light, I should say," said Mr. Crosbie, +looking up at the bright moon; "and then it is so stupid going to +bed." + +"Yes, it is stupid going to bed," said Lily; "but people in the +country are stupid, you know. Billiards, that you can play all night +by gas, is much better, isn't it?" + +"Your arrows fall terribly astray there, Miss Dale, for I never touch +a cue; you should talk to your cousin about billiards." + +"Is Bernard a great billiard player?" asked Bell. + +"Well, I do play now and again; about as well as Crosbie does +croquet. Come, Crosbie, we'll go home and smoke a cigar." + +"Yes," said Lily; "and then, you know, we stupid people can go to +bed. Mamma, I wish you had a little smoking-room here for us. I don't +like being considered stupid." And then they parted,--the ladies +going into the house, and the two men returning across the lawn. + +"Lily, my love," said Mrs. Dale, when they were all together in her +bedroom, "it seems to me that you are very hard upon Mr. Crosbie." + +"She has been going on like that all the evening," said Bell. + +"I'm sure we are very good friends," said Lily. + +"Oh, very!" said Bell. + +"Now, Bell, you're jealous; you know you are." And then, seeing that +her sister was in some slight degree vexed, she went up to her and +kissed her. "She shan't be called jealous; shall she, mamma?" + +"I don't think she deserves it," said Mrs. Dale. + +"Now, you don't mean to say that you think I meant anything," said +Lily. "As if I cared a buttercup about Mr. Crosbie." + +"Or I either, Lily." + +"Of course you don't. But I do care for him very much, mamma. He is +such a duck of an Apollo. I shall always call him Apollo; Phoebus +Apollo! And when I draw his picture he shall have a mallet in his +hand instead of a bow. Upon my word I am very much obliged to Bernard +for bringing him down here; and I do wish he was not going away the +day after to-morrow." + +"The day after to-morrow!" said Mrs. Dale. "It was hardly worth +coming for two days." + +"No, it wasn't,--disturbing us all in our quiet little ways just for +such a spell as that,--not giving one time even to count his rays." + +"But he says he shall perhaps come again," said Bell. + +"There is that hope for us," said Lily. "Uncle Christopher asked him +to come down when he gets his long leave of absence. This is only a +short sort of leave. He is better off than poor Johnny Eames. Johnny +Eames only has a month, but Mr. Crosbie has two months just whenever +he likes it; and seems to be pretty much his own master all the year +round besides." + +"And uncle Christopher asked him to come down for the shooting in +September," said Bell. + +"And though he didn't say he'd come I think he meant it," said Lily. +"There is that hope for us, mamma." + +"Then you'll have to draw Apollo with a gun instead of a mallet." + +"That is the worst of it, mamma. We shan't see much of him or of +Bernard either. They wouldn't let us go out into the woods as +beaters, would they?" + +"You'd make too much noise to be of any use." + +"Should I? I thought the beaters had to shout at the birds. I should +get very tired of shouting at birds, so I think I'll stay at home and +look after my clothes." + +"I hope he will come, because uncle Christopher seems to like him so +much," said Bell. + +"I wonder whether a certain gentleman at Guestwick will like his +coming," said Lily. And then, as soon as she had spoken the words, +she looked at her sister, and saw that she had grieved her. + +"Lily, you let your tongue run too fast," said Mrs. Dale. + +"I didn't mean anything, Bell," said Lily. "I beg your pardon." + +"It doesn't signify," said Bell. "Only Lily says things without +thinking." And then that conversation came to an end, and nothing +more was said among them beyond what appertained to their toilet, +and a few last words at parting. But the two girls occupied the same +room, and when their own door was closed upon them, Bell did allude +to what had passed with some spirit. + +"Lily, you promised me," she said, "that you would not say anything +more to me about Dr. Crofts." + +"I know I did, and I was very wrong. I beg your pardon, Bell; and I +won't do it again,--not if I can help it." + +"Not help it, Lily!" + +"But I'm sure I don't know why I shouldn't speak of him,--only not in +the way of laughing at you. Of all the men I ever saw in my life I +like him best. And only that I love you better than I love myself I +could find it in my heart to grudge you his--" + +"Lily, what did you promise just now?" + +"Well; after to-night. And I don't know why you should turn against +him." + +"I have never turned against him or for him." + +"There's no turning about him. He'd give his left hand if you'd only +smile on him. Or his right either,--and that's what I should like to +see; so now you've heard it." + +"You know you are talking nonsense." + +"So I should like to see it. And so would mamma too, I'm sure; though +I never heard her say a word about him. In my mind he's the finest +fellow I ever saw. What's Mr. Apollo Crosbie to him? And now, as it +makes you unhappy, I'll never say another word about him." + +As Bell wished her sister good-night with perhaps more than her usual +affection, it was evident that Lily's words and eager tone had in +some way pleased her, in spite of their opposition to the request +which she had made. And Lily was aware that it was so. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +MRS. ROPER'S BOARDING-HOUSE. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +I have said that John Eames had been petted by none but his mother, +but I would not have it supposed, on this account, that John Eames +had no friends. There is a class of young men who never get petted, +though they may not be the less esteemed, or perhaps loved. They do +not come forth to the world as Apollos, nor shine at all, keeping +what light they may have for inward purposes. Such young men are +often awkward, ungainly, and not yet formed in their gait; they +straggle with their limbs, and are shy; words do not come to them +with ease, when words are required, among any but their accustomed +associates. Social meetings are periods of penance to them, and any +appearance in public will unnerve them. They go much about alone, +and blush when women speak to them. In truth, they are not as yet +men, whatever the number may be of their years; and, as they are no +longer boys, the world has found for them the ungraceful name of +hobbledehoy. + +Such observations, however, as I have been enabled to make on this +matter have led me to believe that the hobbledehoy is by no means +the least valuable species of the human race. When I compare the +hobbledehoy of one or two and twenty to some finished Apollo of +the same age, I regard the former as unripe fruit, and the latter +as fruit that is ripe. Then comes the question as to the two fruits. +Which is the better fruit, that which ripens early--which is, +perhaps, favoured with some little forcing apparatus, or which, at +least, is backed by the warmth of a southern wall; or that fruit of +slower growth, as to which nature works without assistance, on which +the sun operates in its own time,--or perhaps never operates if some +ungenial shade has been allowed to interpose itself? The world, no +doubt, is in favour of the forcing apparatus or of the southern wall. +The fruit comes certainly, and at an assured period. It is spotless, +speckless, and of a certain quality by no means despicable. The owner +has it when he wants it, and it serves its turn. But, nevertheless, +according to my thinking, the fullest flavour of the sun is given +to that other fruit,--is given in the sun's own good time, if so be +that no ungenial shade has interposed itself. I like the smack of the +natural growth, and like it, perhaps, the better because that which +has been obtained has been obtained without favour. + +But the hobbledehoy, though he blushes when women address him, and +is uneasy even when he is near them, though he is not master of his +limbs in a ball-room, and is hardly master of his tongue at any +time, is the most eloquent of beings, and especially eloquent among +beautiful women. He enjoys all the triumphs of a Don Juan, without +any of Don Juan's heartlessness, and is able to conquer in all +encounters, through the force of his wit and the sweetness of his +voice. But this eloquence is heard only by his own inner ears, and +these triumphs are the triumphs of his imagination. + +The true hobbledehoy is much alone, not being greatly given to social +intercourse even with other hobbledehoys--a trait in his character +which I think has hardly been sufficiently observed by the world at +large. He has probably become a hobbledehoy instead of an Apollo, +because circumstances have not afforded him much social intercourse; +and, therefore, he wanders about in solitude, taking long walks, in +which he dreams of those successes which are so far removed from his +powers of achievement. Out in the fields, with his stick in his hand, +he is very eloquent, cutting off the heads of the springing summer +weeds, as he practises his oratory with energy. And thus he feeds an +imagination for which those who know him give him but scanty credit, +and unconsciously prepares himself for that latter ripening, if only +the ungenial shade will some day cease to interpose itself. + +Such hobbledehoys receive but little petting, unless it be from a +mother; and such a hobbledehoy was John Eames when he was sent away +from Guestwick to begin his life in the big room of a public office +in London. We may say that there was nothing of the young Apollo +about him. But yet he was not without friends--friends who wished him +well, and thought much of his welfare. And he had a younger sister +who loved him dearly, who had no idea that he was a hobbledehoy, +being somewhat of a hobbledehoya herself. Mrs. Eames, their mother, +was a widow, living in a small house in Guestwick, whose husband had +been throughout his whole life an intimate friend of our squire. He +had been a man of many misfortunes, having begun the world almost +with affluence, and having ended it in poverty. He had lived all his +days in Guestwick, having at one time occupied a large tract of land, +and lost much money in experimental farming; and late in life he had +taken a small house on the outskirts of the town, and there had died, +some two years previously to the commencement of this story. With +no other man had Mr. Dale lived on terms so intimate; and when Mr. +Eames died Mr. Dale acted as executor under his will, and as guardian +to his children. He had, moreover, obtained for John Eames that +situation under the Crown which he now held. + +And Mrs. Eames had been and still was on very friendly terms with +Mrs. Dale. The squire had never taken quite kindly to Mrs. Eames, +whom her husband had not met till he was already past forty years +of age. But Mrs. Dale had made up by her kindness to the poor +forlorn woman for any lack of that cordiality which might have been +shown to her from the Great House. Mrs. Eames was a poor forlorn +woman--forlorn even during the time of her husband's life, but very +wobegone now in her widowhood. In matters of importance the squire +had been kind to her; arranging for her her little money affairs, +advising her about her house and income, also getting for her that +appointment for her son. But he snubbed her when he met her, and poor +Mrs. Eames held him in great awe. Mrs. Dale held her brother-in-law +in no awe, and sometimes gave to the widow from Guestwick advice +quite at variance to that given by the squire. In this way there +had grown up an intimacy between Bell and Lily and the young Eames, +and either of the girls was prepared to declare that Johnny Eames +was her own and well-loved friend. Nevertheless, they spoke of him +occasionally with some little dash of merriment--as is not unusual +with pretty girls who have hobbledehoys among their intimate friends, +and who are not themselves unaccustomed to the grace of an Apollo. + +I may as well announce at once that John Eames, when he went up to +London, was absolutely and irretrievably in love with Lily Dale. He +had declared his passion in the most moving language a hundred times; +but he had declared it only to himself. He had written much poetry +about Lily, but he kept his lines safe under double lock and key. +When he gave the reins to his imagination, he flattered himself that +he might win not only her but the world at large also by his verses; +but he would have perished rather than exhibit them to human eye. +During the last ten weeks of his life at Guestwick, while he was +preparing for his career in London, he hung about Allington, walking +over frequently and then walking back again; but all in vain. During +these visits he would sit in Mrs. Dale's drawing-room, speaking but +little, and addressing himself usually to the mother; but on each +occasion, as he started on his long, hot walk, he resolved that he +would say something by which Lily might know of his love. When he +left for London that something had not been said. + +He had not dreamed of asking her to be his wife. John Eames was about +to begin the world with eighty pounds a year, and an allowance of +twenty more from his mother's purse. He was well aware that with such +an income he could not establish himself as a married man in London, +and he also felt that the man who might be fortunate enough to win +Lily for his wife should be prepared to give her every soft luxury +that the world could afford. He knew well that he ought not to expect +any assurance of Lily's love; but, nevertheless, he thought it +possible that he might give her an assurance of his love. It would +probably be in vain. He had no real hope, unless when he was in +one of those poetic moods. He had acknowledged to himself, in some +indistinct way, that he was no more than a hobbledehoy, awkward, +silent, ungainly, with a face unfinished, as it were, or unripe. All +this he knew, and knew also that there were Apollos in the world who +would be only too ready to carry off Lily in their splendid cars. But +not the less did he make up his mind that having loved her once, it +behoved him, as a true man, to love her on to the end. + +One little word he had said to her when they parted, but it had been +a word of friendship rather than of love. He had strayed out after +her on to the lawn, leaving Bell alone in the drawing-room. Perhaps +Lily had understood something of the boy's feeling, and had wished +to speak kindly to him at parting, or almost more than kindly. There +is a silent love which women recognize, and which in some silent way +they acknowledge,--giving gracious but silent thanks for the respect +which accompanies it. + +"I have come to say good-by, Lily," said Johnny Eames, following the +girl down one of the paths. + +"Good-by, John," said she, turning round. "You know how sorry we are +to lose you. But it's a great thing for you to be going up to +London." + +"Well; yes. I suppose it is. I'd sooner remain here, though." + +"What! stay here, doing nothing! I am sure you would not." + +"Of course, I should like to do something. I mean--" + +"You mean that it is painful to part with old friends; and I'm sure +that we all feel that at parting with you. But you'll have a holiday +sometimes, and then we shall see you." + +"Yes; of course, I shall see you then. I think, Lily, I shall care +more about seeing you than anybody." + +"Oh, no, John. There'll be your own mother and sister." + +"Yes; there'll be mother and Mary, of course. But I will come over +here the very first day,--that is, if you'll care to see me?" + +"We shall care to see you very much. You know that. And--dear John, +I do hope you'll be happy." + +There was a tone in her voice as she spoke which almost upset him; +or, I should rather say, which almost put him up upon his legs and +made him speak; but its ultimate effect was less powerful. "Do you?" +said he, as he held her hand for a few happy seconds. "And I'm sure +I hope you'll always be happy. Good-by, Lily." Then he left her, +returning to the house, and she continued her walk, wandering down +among the trees in the shrubbery, and not showing herself for the +next half hour. How many girls have some such lover as that,--a lover +who says no more to them than Johnny Eames then said to Lily Dale, +who never says more than that? And yet when, in after years, they +count over the names of all who have loved them, the name of that +awkward youth is never forgotten. + +That farewell had been spoken nearly two years since, and Lily Dale +was then seventeen. Since that time, John Eames had been home once, +and during his month's holiday had often visited Allington. But he +had never improved upon that occasion of which I have told. It had +seemed to him that Lily was colder to him than in old days, and he +had become, if anything, more shy in his ways with her. He was to +return to Guestwick again during this autumn; but, to tell honestly +the truth in the matter, Lily Dale did not think or care very +much for his coming. Girls of nineteen do not care for lovers of +one-and-twenty, unless it be when the fruit has had the advantage of +some forcing apparatus or southern wall. + +John Eames's love was still as hot as ever, having been sustained on +poetry, and kept alive, perhaps, by some close confidence in the ears +of a brother clerk; but it is not to be supposed that during these +two years he had been a melancholy lover. It might, perhaps, have +been better for him had his disposition led him to that line of life. +Such, however, had not been the case. He had already abandoned the +flute on which he had learned to sound three sad notes before he left +Guestwick, and, after the fifth or sixth Sunday, he had relinquished +his solitary walks along the towing-path of the Regent's Park +Canal. To think of one's absent love is very sweet; but it becomes +monotonous after a mile or two of a towing-path, and the mind +will turn away to Aunt Sally, the Cremorne Gardens, and financial +questions. I doubt whether any girl would be satisfied with her +lover's mind if she knew the whole of it. + +"I say, Caudle, I wonder whether a fellow could get into a club?" + +This proposition was made, on one of those Sunday walks, by John +Eames to the friend of his bosom, a brother clerk, whose legitimate +name was Cradell, and who was therefore called Caudle by his friends. + +"Get into a club? Fisher in our room belongs to a club." + +"That's only a chess-club. I mean a regular club." + +"One of the swell ones at the West End?" said Cradell, almost lost in +admiration at the ambition of his friend. + +"I shouldn't want it to be particularly swell. If a man isn't a +swell, I don't see what he gets by going among those who are. But +it is so uncommon slow at Mother Roper's." Now Mrs. Roper was a +respectable lady, who kept a boarding-house in Burton Crescent, +and to whom Mrs. Eames had been strongly recommended when she was +desirous of finding a specially safe domicile for her son. For the +first year of his life in London John Eames had lived alone in +lodgings; but that had resulted in discomfort, solitude, and, alas! +in some amount of debt, which had come heavily on the poor widow. +Now, for the second year, some safer mode of life was necessary. She +had learned that Mrs. Cradell, the widow of a barrister, who had also +succeeded in getting her son into the Income-tax Office, had placed +him in charge of Mrs. Roper; and she, with many injunctions to that +motherly woman, submitted her own boy to the same custody. + +"And about going to church?" Mrs. Eames had said to Mrs. Roper. + +"I don't suppose I can look after that, ma'am," Mrs. Roper had +answered, conscientiously. "Young gentlemen choose mostly their own +churches." + +"But they do go?" asked the mother, very anxious in her heart as to +this new life in which her boy was to be left to follow in so many +things the guidance of his own lights. + +"They who have been brought up steady do so, mostly." + +"He has been brought up steady, Mrs. Roper. He has, indeed. And you +won't give him a latch-key?" + +"Well, they always do ask for it." + +"But he won't insist, if you tell him that I had rather that he +shouldn't have one." + +Mrs. Roper promised accordingly, and Johnny Eames was left under her +charge. He did ask for the latch-key, and Mrs. Roper answered as she +was bidden. But he asked again, having been sophisticated by the +philosophy of Cradell, and then Mrs. Roper handed him the key. She +was a woman who plumed herself on being as good as her word, not +understanding that any one could justly demand from her more than +that. She gave Johnny Eames the key, as doubtless she had intended +to do; for Mrs. Roper knew the world, and understood that young men +without latch-keys would not remain with her. + +"I thought you didn't seem to find it so dull since Amelia came +home," said Cradell. + +"Amelia! What's Amelia to me? I have told you everything, Cradell, +and yet you can talk to me about Amelia Roper!" + +"Come now, Johnny--" He had always been called Johnny, and the name +had gone with him to his office. Even Amelia Roper had called him +Johnny on more than one occasion before this. "You were as sweet to +her the other night as though there were no such person as L. D. in +existence." John Eames turned away and shook his head. Nevertheless, +the words of his friend were grateful to him. The character of a Don +Juan was not unpleasant to his imagination, and he liked to think +that he might amuse Amelia Roper with a passing word, though his +heart was true to Lilian Dale. In truth, however, many more of the +passing words had been spoken by the fair Amelia than by him. + +Mrs. Roper had been quite as good as her word when she told Mrs. +Eames that her household was composed of herself, of a son who was in +an attorney's office, of an ancient maiden cousin, named Miss Spruce, +who lodged with her, and of Mr. Cradell. The divine Amelia had not +then been living with her, and the nature of the statement which she +was making by no means compelled her to inform Mrs. Eames that the +young lady would probably return home in the following winter. A Mr. +and Mrs. Lupex had also joined the family lately, and Mrs. Roper's +house was now supposed to be full. + +And it must be acknowledged that Johnny Eames had, in certain +unguarded moments, confided to Cradell the secret of a second weaker +passion for Amelia. "She is a fine girl,--a deuced fine girl!" Johnny +Eames had said, using a style of language which he had learned since +he left Guestwick and Allington. Mr. Cradell, also, was an admirer +of the fair sex; and, alas! that I should say so, Mrs. Lupex, at +the present moment, was the object of his admiration. Not that he +entertained the slightest idea of wronging Mr. Lupex,--a man who was +a scene-painter, and knew the world. Mr. Cradell admired Mrs. Lupex +as a connoisseur, not simply as a man. "By heavens! Johnny, what a +figure that woman has!" he said, one morning, as they were walking to +their office. + +"Yes; she stands well on her pins." + +"I should think she did. If I understand anything of form," said +Cradell, "that woman is nearly perfect. What a torso she has!" + +From which expression, and from the fact that Mrs. Lupex depended +greatly upon her stays and crinoline for such figure as she succeeded +in displaying, it may, perhaps, be understood that Mr. Cradell did +not understand much about form. + +"It seems to me that her nose isn't quite straight," said Johnny +Eames. Now, it undoubtedly was the fact that the nose on Mrs. Lupex's +face was a little awry. It was a long, thin nose, which, as it +progressed forward into the air, certainly had a preponderating bias +towards the left side. + +"I care more for figure than face," said Cradell. "But Mrs. Lupex has +fine eyes--very fine eyes." + +"And knows how to use them, too," said Johnny. + +"Why shouldn't she? And then she has lovely hair." + +"Only she never brushes it in the morning." + +"Do you know, I like that kind of deshabille," said Cradell. "Too +much care always betrays itself." + +"But a woman should be tidy." + +"What a word to apply to such a creature as Mrs. Lupex! I call her +a splendid woman. And how well she was got up last night. Do you +know, I've an idea that Lupex treats her very badly. She said a word +or two to me yesterday that--," and then he paused. There are some +confidences which a man does not share even with his dearest friend. + +"I rather fancy it's quite the other way," said Eames. + +"How the other way?" + +"That Lupex has quite as much as he likes of Mrs. L. The sound of her +voice sometimes makes me shake in my shoes, I know." + +"I like a woman with spirit," said Cradell. + +"Oh, so do I. But one may have too much of a good thing. Amelia did +tell me;--only you won't mention it." + +"Of course, I won't." + +"She told me that Lupex sometimes was obliged to run away from her. +He goes down to the theatre, and remains there two or three days at a +time. Then she goes to fetch him, and there is no end of a row in the +house." + +"The fact is, he drinks," said Cradell. "By George, I pity a woman +whose husband drinks--and such a woman as that, too!" + +"Take care, old fellow, or you'll find yourself in a scrape." + +"I know what I'm at. Lord bless you, I'm not going to lose my head +because I see a fine woman." + +"Or your heart either?" + +"Oh, heart! There's nothing of that kind of thing about me. I regard +a woman as a picture or a statue. I dare say I shall marry some day, +because men do; but I've no idea of losing myself about a woman." + +"I'd lose myself ten times over for--" + +"L. D.," said Cradell. + +"That I would. And yet I know I shall never have her. I'm a jolly, +laughing sort of fellow; and yet, do you know, Caudle, when that girl +marries, it will be all up with me. It will, indeed." + +"Do you mean that you'll cut your throat?" + +"No; I shan't do that. I shan't do anything of that sort; and yet it +will be all up with me." + +"You are going down there in October;--why don't you ask her to have +you?" + +"With ninety pounds a year!" His grateful country had twice increased +his salary at the rate of five pounds each year. "With ninety pounds +a year, and twenty allowed me by my mother!" + +"She could wait, I suppose. I should ask her, and no mistake. If one +is to love a girl, it's no good one going on in that way!" + +"It isn't much good, certainly," said Johnny Eames. And then they +reached the door of the Income-tax Office, and each went away to his +own desk. + +From this little dialogue, it may be imagined that though Mrs. Roper +was as good as her word, she was not exactly the woman whom Mrs. +Eames would have wished to select as a protecting angel for her son. +But the truth I take to be this, that protecting angels for widows' +sons, at forty-eight pounds a year, paid quarterly, are not to be +found very readily in London. Mrs. Roper was not worse than others of +her class. She would much have preferred lodgers who were respectable +to those who were not so,--if she could only have found respectable +lodgers as she wanted them. Mr. and Mrs. Lupex hardly came under that +denomination; and when she gave them up her big front bedroom at a +hundred a year, she knew she was doing wrong. And she was troubled, +too, about her own daughter Amelia, who was already over thirty years +of age. Amelia was a very clever young woman, who had been, if the +truth must be told, first young lady at a millinery establishment in +Manchester. Mrs. Roper knew that Mrs. Eames and Mrs. Cradell would +not wish their sons to associate with her daughter. But what could +she do? She could not refuse the shelter of her own house to her own +child, and yet her heart misgave her when she saw Amelia flirting +with young Eames. + +"I wish, Amelia, you wouldn't have so much to say to that young man." + +"Laws, mother." + +"So I do. If you go on like that, you'll put me out of both my +lodgers." + +"Go on like what, mother? If a gentleman speaks to me, I suppose I'm +to answer him? I know how to behave myself, I believe." And then she +gave her head a toss. Whereupon her mother was silent; for her mother +was afraid of her. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +ABOUT L. D. + + +Apollo Crosbie left London for Allington on the 31st of August, +intending to stay there four weeks, with the declared intention of +recruiting his strength by an absence of two months from official +cares, and with no fixed purpose as to his destiny for the last of +those two months. Offers of hospitality had been made to him by the +dozen. Lady Hartletop's doors, in Shropshire, were open to him, if he +chose to enter them. He had been invited by the Countess De Courcy to +join her suite at Courcy Castle. His special friend Montgomerie Dobbs +had a place in Scotland, and then there was a yachting party by which +he was much wanted. But Mr. Crosbie had as yet knocked himself down +to none of these biddings, having before him when he left London no +other fixed engagement than that which took him to Allington. On the +first of October we shall also find ourselves at Allington in company +with Johnny Eames; and Apollo Crosbie will still be there,--by no +means to the comfort of our friend from the Income-tax Office. + +Johnny Eames cannot be called unlucky in that matter of his annual +holiday, seeing that he was allowed to leave London in October, a +month during which few chose to own that they remain in town. For +myself, I always regard May as the best month for holiday-making; but +then no Londoner cares to be absent in May. Young Eames, though he +lived in Burton Crescent and had as yet no connection with the West +End, had already learned his lesson in this respect. "Those fellows +in the big room want me to take May," he had said to his friend +Cradell. "They must think I'm uncommon green." + +"It's too bad," said Cradell. "A man shouldn't be asked to take his +leave in May. I never did, and what's more, I never will. I'd go to +the Board first." + +Eames had escaped this evil without going to the Board, and had +succeeded in obtaining for himself for his own holiday that month of +October, which, of all months, is perhaps the most highly esteemed +for holiday purposes. "I shall go down by the mail-train to-morrow +night," he said to Amelia Roper, on the evening before his departure. +At that moment he was sitting alone with Amelia in Mrs. Roper's back +drawing-room. In the front room Cradell was talking to Mrs. Lupex; +but as Miss Spruce was with them, it may be presumed that Mr. Lupex +need have had no cause for jealousy. + +"Yes," said Amelia; "I know how great is your haste to get down to +that fascinating spot. I could not expect that you would lose one +single hour in hurrying away from Burton Crescent." + +Amelia Roper was a tall, well-grown young woman, with dark hair and +dark eyes;--not handsome, for her nose was thick, and the lower part +of her face was heavy, but yet not without some feminine attractions. +Her eyes were bright; but then, also, they were mischievous. She +could talk fluently enough; but then, also, she could scold. She +could assume sometimes the plumage of a dove; but then again she +could occasionally ruffle her feathers like an angry kite. I am quite +prepared to acknowledge that John Eames should have kept himself +clear of Amelia Roper; but then young men so frequently do those +things which they should not do! + +"After twelve months up here in London one is glad to get away to +one's own friends," said Johnny. + +"Your own friends, Mr. Eames! What sort of friends? Do you suppose I +don't know?" + +"Well, no. I don't think you do know." + +"L. D.!" said Amelia, showing that Lily had been spoken of among +people who should never have been allowed to hear her name. But +perhaps, after all, no more than those two initials were known in +Burton Crescent. From the tone which was now used in naming them, +it was sufficiently manifest that Amelia considered herself to be +wronged by their very existence. + +"L. S. D.," said Johnny, attempting the line of a witty, gay young +spendthrift. "That's my love--pounds, shillings, and pence; and a +very coy mistress she is." + +"Nonsense, sir. Don't talk to me in that way. As if I didn't know +where your heart was. What right had you to speak to me if you had an +L. D. down in the country?" + +It should be here declared on behalf of poor John Eames that he had +not ever spoken to Amelia--he had not spoken to her in any such +phrase as her words seemed to imply. But then he had written to her +a fatal note of which we will speak further before long, and that +perhaps was quite as bad,--or worse. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Johnny. But the laugh was assumed, and not +assumed with ease. + +"Yes, sir; it's a laughing matter to you, I dare say. It is very easy +for a man to laugh under such circumstances;--that is to say, if he +is perfectly heartless,--if he's got a stone inside his bosom instead +of flesh and blood. Some men are made of stone, I know, and are +troubled with no feelings." + +"What is it you want me to say? You pretend to know all about it, and +it wouldn't be civil in me to contradict you." + +"What is it I want? You know very well what I want; or rather, I +don't want anything. What is it to me? It is nothing to me about L. +D. You can go down to Allington and do what you like for me. Only +I hate such ways." + +"What ways, Amelia?" + +"What ways! Now, look here, Johnny: I'm not going to make a fool of +myself for any man. When I came home here three months ago--and I +wish I never had;"--she paused here a moment, waiting for a word of +tenderness; but as the word of tenderness did not come, she went +on--"but when I did come home, I didn't think there was a man in all +London could make me care for him,--that I didn't. And now you're +going away, without so much as hardly saying a word to me." And then +she brought out her handkerchief. + +"What am I to say, when you keep on scolding me all the time?" + +"Scolding you!--And me too! No, Johnny, I ain't scolding you, and +don't mean to. If it's to be all over between us, say the word, and +I'll take myself away out of the house before you come back again. +I've had no secrets from you. I can go back to my business in +Manchester, though it is beneath my birth, and not what I've been +used to. If L. D. is more to you than I am, I won't stand in your +way. Only say the word." + +L. D. was more to him than Amelia Roper,--ten times more to him. L. +D. would have been everything to him, and Amelia Roper was worse +than nothing. He felt all this at the moment, and struggled hard to +collect an amount of courage that would make him free. + +"Say the word," said she, rising on her feet before him, "and all +between you and me shall be over. I have got your promise, but I'd +scorn to take advantage. If Amelia hasn't got your heart, she'd +despise to take your hand. Only I must have an answer." + +It would seem that an easy way of escape was offered to him; but the +lady probably knew that the way as offered by her was not easy to +such an one as John Eames. + +"Amelia," he said, still keeping his seat. + +"Well, sir?" + +"You know I love you." + +"And about L. D.?" + +"If you choose to believe all the nonsense that Cradell puts into +your head, I can't help it. If you like to make yourself jealous +about two letters, it isn't my fault." + +"And you love me?" said she. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "And you love me?" said she.] + + +"Of course I love you." And then, upon hearing these words, Amelia +threw herself into his arms. + +As the folding doors between the two rooms were not closed, and as +Miss Spruce was sitting in her easy chair immediately opposite to +them, it was probable that she saw what passed. But Miss Spruce was +a taciturn old lady, not easily excited to any show of surprise or +admiration; and as she had lived with Mrs. Roper for the last twelve +years, she was probably well acquainted with her daughter's ways. + +"You'll be true to me?" said Amelia, during the moment of that +embrace--"true to me for ever?" + +"Oh, yes; that's a matter of course," said Johnny Eames. And then she +liberated him; and the two strolled into the front sitting-room. + +"I declare, Mr. Eames," said Mrs. Lupex, "I'm glad you've come. +Here's Mr. Cradell does say such queer things." + +"Queer things!" said Cradell. "Now, Miss Spruce, I appeal to +you--Have I said any queer things?" + +"If you did, sir, I didn't notice them," said Miss Spruce. + +"I noticed them, then," said Mrs. Lupex. "An unmarried man like Mr. +Cradell has no business to know whether a married lady wears a cap or +her own hair--has he, Mr. Eames?" + +"I don't think I ever know," said Johnny, not intending any sarcasm +on Mrs. Lupex. + +"I dare say not, sir," said the lady. "We all know where your +attention is riveted. If you were to wear a cap, my dear, somebody +would see the difference very soon--wouldn't they, Miss Spruce?" + +"I dare say they would," said Miss Spruce. + +"If I could look as nice in a cap as you do, Mrs. Lupex, I'd wear one +to-morrow," said Amelia, who did not wish to quarrel with the married +lady at the present moment. There were occasions, however, on which +Mrs. Lupex and Miss Roper were by no means so gracious to each other. + +"Does Lupex like caps?" asked Cradell. + +"If I wore a plumed helmet on my head, it's my belief he wouldn't +know the difference; nor yet if I had got no head at all. That's +what comes of getting married. If you'll take my advice, Miss Roper, +you'll stay as you are; even though somebody should break his heart +about it. Wouldn't you, Miss Spruce?" + +"Oh, as for me, I'm an old woman, you know," said Miss Spruce, which +was certainly true. + +"I don't see what any woman gets by marrying," continued Mrs. Lupex. +"But a man gains everything. He don't know how to live, unless he's +got a woman to help him." + +"But is love to go for nothing?" said Cradell. + +"Oh, love! I don't believe in love. I suppose I thought I loved once, +but what did it come to after all? Now, there's Mr. Eames--we all +know he's in love." + +"It comes natural to me, Mrs. Lupex. I was born so," said Johnny. + +"And there's Miss Roper--one never ought to speak free about a lady, +but perhaps she's in love too." + +"Speak for yourself, Mrs. Lupex," said Amelia. + +"There's no harm in saying that, is there? I'm sure, if you ain't, +you're very hard-hearted; for, if ever there was a true lover, I +believe you've got one of your own. My!--if there's not Lupex's step +on the stair! What can bring him home at this hour? If he's been +drinking, he'll come home as cross as anything." Then Mr. Lupex +entered the room, and the pleasantness of the party was destroyed. + +It may be said that neither Mrs. Cradell nor Mrs. Eames would have +placed their sons in Burton Crescent if they had known the dangers +into which the young men would fall. Each, it must be acknowledged, +was imprudent; but each clearly saw the imprudence of the other. Not +a week before this, Cradell had seriously warned his friend against +the arts of Miss Roper. "By George, Johnny, you'll get yourself +entangled with that girl." + +"One always has to go through that sort of thing," said Johnny. + +"Yes; but those who go through too much of it never get out again. +Where would you be if she got a written promise of marriage from +you?" + +Poor Johnny did not answer this immediately, for in very truth Amelia +Roper had such a document in her possession. + +"Where should I be?" said he. "Among the breaches of promise, I +suppose." + +"Either that, or else among the victims of matrimony. My belief of +you is, that if you gave such a promise, you'd carry it out." + +"Perhaps I should," said Johnny; "but I don't know. It's a matter of +doubt what a man ought to do in such a case." + +"But there's been nothing of that kind yet?" + +"Oh dear, no!" + +"If I was you, Johnny, I'd keep away from her. It's very good fun, of +course, that sort of thing; but it is so uncommon dangerous! Where +would you be now with such a girl as that for your wife?" + +Such had been the caution given by Cradell to his friend. And now, +just as he was starting for Allington, Eames returned the compliment. +They had gone together to the Great Western station at Paddington, +and Johnny tendered his advice as they were walking together up and +down the platform. + +"I say, Caudle, old boy, you'll find yourself in trouble with that +Mrs. Lupex, if you don't take care of yourself." + +"But I shall take care of myself. There's nothing so safe as a little +nonsense with a married woman. Of course, it means nothing, you know, +between her and me." + +"I don't suppose it does mean anything. But she's always talking +about Lupex being jealous; and if he was to cut up rough, you +wouldn't find it pleasant." + +Cradell, however, seemed to think that there was no danger. His +little affair with Mrs. Lupex was quite platonic and safe. As for +doing any real harm, his principles, as he assured his friend, were +too high. Mrs. Lupex was a woman of talent, whom no one seemed to +understand, and, therefore, he had taken some pleasure in studying +her character. It was merely a study of character, and nothing more. +Then the friends parted, and Eames was carried away by the night +mail-train down to Guestwick. + +How his mother was up to receive him at four o'clock in the morning, +how her maternal heart was rejoicing at seeing the improvement in +his gait, and the manliness of appearance imparted to him by his +whiskers, I need not describe at length. Many of the attributes of +a hobbledehoy had fallen from him, and even Lily Dale might now +probably acknowledge that he was no longer a boy. All which might be +regarded as good, if only in putting off childish things he had taken +up things which were better than childish. + +On the very first day of his arrival he made his way over to +Allington. He did not walk on this occasion as he had used to do in +the old happy days. He had an idea that it might not be well for him +to go into Mrs. Dale's drawing-room with the dust of the road on his +boots, and the heat of the day on his brow. So he borrowed a horse +and rode over, taking some pride in a pair of spurs which he had +bought in Piccadilly, and in his kid gloves, which were brought out +new for the occasion. Alas, alas! I fear that those two years in +London have not improved John Eames; and yet I have to acknowledge +that John Eames is one of the heroes of my story. + +On entering Mrs. Dale's drawing-room he found Mrs. Dale and her +eldest daughter. Lily at the moment was not there, and as he shook +hands with the other two, of course, he asked for her. + +"She is only in the garden," said Bell. "She will be here directly." + +"She has walked across to the Great House with Mr. Crosbie," said +Mrs. Dale; "but she is not going to remain. She will be so glad to +see you, John! We all expected you to-day." + +"Did you?" said Johnny, whose heart had been plunged into cold water +at the mention of Mr. Crosbie's name. He had been thinking of Lilian +Dale ever since his friend had left him on the railway platform; and, +as I beg to assure all ladies who may read my tale, the truth of his +love for Lily had moulted no feather through that unholy liaison +between him and Miss Roper. I fear that I shall be disbelieved in +this; but it was so. His heart was and ever had been true to Lilian, +although he had allowed himself to be talked into declarations of +affection by such a creature as Amelia Roper. He had been thinking +of his meeting with Lily all the night and throughout the morning, +and now he heard that she was walking alone about the gardens with +a strange gentleman. That Mr. Crosbie was very grand and very +fashionable he had heard, but he knew no more of him. Why should Mr. +Crosbie be allowed to walk with Lily Dale? And why should Mrs. Dale +mention the circumstance as though it were quite a thing of course? +Such mystery as there was in this was solved very quickly. + +"I'm sure Lily won't object to my telling such a dear friend as you +what has happened," said Mrs. Dale. "She is engaged to be married to +Mr. Crosbie." + +The water into which Johnny's heart had been plunged now closed over +his head and left him speechless. Lily Dale was engaged to be married +to Mr. Crosbie! He knew that he should have spoken when he heard the +tidings. He knew that the moments of silence as they passed by told +his secret to the two women before him,--that secret which it would +now behove him to conceal from all the world. But yet he could not +speak. + +"We are all very well pleased at the match," said Mrs. Dale, wishing +to spare him. + +"Nothing can be nicer than Mr. Crosbie," said Bell. "We have often +talked about you, and he will be so happy to know you." + +"He won't know much about me," said Johnny; and even in speaking +these few senseless words--words which he uttered because it was +necessary that he should say something--the tone of his voice was +altered. He would have given the world to have been master of himself +at this moment, but he felt that he was utterly vanquished. + +"There is Lily coming across the lawn," said Mrs. Dale. + +"Then I'd better go," said Eames. "Don't say anything about it; pray +don't." And then, without waiting for another word, he escaped out of +the drawing-room. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +BEAUTIFUL DAYS. + + +I am well aware that I have not as yet given any description of Bell +and Lilian Dale, and equally well aware that the longer the doing +so is postponed the greater the difficulty becomes. I wish it could +be understood without any description that they were two pretty, +fair-haired girls, of whom Bell was the tallest and the prettiest, +whereas Lily was almost as pretty as her sister, and perhaps was more +attractive. + +They were fair-haired girls, very like each other, of whom I have +before my mind's eye a distinct portrait, which I fear I shall not be +able to draw in any such manner as will make it distinct to others. +They were something below the usual height, being slight and slender +in all their proportions. Lily was the shorter of the two, but the +difference was so trifling that it was hardly remembered unless the +two were together. And when I said that Bell was the prettier, I +should, perhaps, have spoken more justly had I simply declared that +her features were more regular than her sister's. The two girls +were very fair, so that the soft tint of colour which relieved the +whiteness of their complexion was rather acknowledged than distinctly +seen. It was there, telling its own tale of health, as its absence +would have told a tale of present or coming sickness; and yet nobody +could ever talk about the colour in their cheeks. The hair of the two +girls was so alike in hue and texture, that no one, not even their +mother, could say that there was a difference. It was not flaxen +hair, and yet it was very light. Nor did it approach to auburn; +and yet there ran through it a golden tint that gave it a distinct +brightness of its own. But with Bell it was more plentiful than +with Lily, and therefore Lily would always talk of her own scanty +locks, and tell how beautiful were those belonging to her sister. +Nevertheless Lily's head was quite as lovely as her sister's; for its +form was perfect, and the simple braids in which they both wore their +hair did not require any great exuberance in quantity. Their eyes +were brightly blue; but Bell's were long, and soft, and tender, +often hardly daring to raise themselves to your face; while those +of Lily were rounder, but brighter, and seldom kept by any want of +courage from fixing themselves where they pleased. And Lily's face +was perhaps less oval in its form--less perfectly oval--than her +sister's. The shape of the forehead was, I think, the same, but with +Bell the chin was something more slender and delicate. But Bell's +chin was unmarked, whereas on her sister's there was a dimple which +amply compensated for any other deficiency in its beauty. Bell's +teeth were more even than her sister's; but then she showed her teeth +more frequently. Her lips were thinner and, as I cannot but think, +less expressive. Her nose was decidedly more regular in its beauty, +for Lily's nose was somewhat broader than it should have been. It +may, therefore, be understood that Bell would be considered the +beauty by the family. + +But there was, perhaps, more in the general impression made by +these girls, and in the whole tone of their appearance, than in the +absolute loveliness of their features or the grace of their figures. +There was about them a dignity of demeanour devoid of all stiffness +or pride, and a maidenly modesty which gave itself no airs. In them +was always apparent that sense of security which women should receive +from an unconscious dependence on their own mingled purity and +weakness. These two girls were never afraid of men,--never looked as +though they were so afraid. And I may say that they had little cause +for that kind of fear to which I allude. It might be the lot of +either of them to be ill-used by a man, but it was hardly possible +that either of them should ever be insulted by one. Lily, as may, +perhaps, have been already seen, could be full of play, but in her +play she never so carried herself that any one could forget what was +due to her. + +And now Lily Dale was engaged to be married, and the days of her +playfulness were over. It sounds sad, this sentence against her, but +I fear that it must be regarded as true. And when I think that it +is true,--when I see that the sportiveness and kitten-like gambols +of girlhood should be over, and generally are over, when a girl +has given her troth, it becomes a matter of regret to me that the +feminine world should be in such a hurry after matrimony. I have, +however, no remedy to offer for the evil; and, indeed, am aware that +the evil, if there be an evil, is not well expressed in the words I +have used. The hurry is not for matrimony, but for love. Then, the +love once attained, matrimony seizes it for its own, and the evil is +accomplished. + +And Lily Dale was engaged to be married to Adolphus Crosbie,--to +Apollo Crosbie, as she still called him, confiding her little joke +to his own ears. And to her he was an Apollo, as a man who is loved +should be to the girl who loves him. He was handsome, graceful, +clever, self-confident, and always cheerful when she asked him to be +cheerful. But he had also his more serious moments, and could talk +to her of serious matters. He would read to her, and explain to her +things which had hitherto been too hard for her young intelligence. +His voice, too, was pleasant, and well under command. It could be +pathetic if pathos were required, or ring with laughter as merry as +her own. Was not such a man fit to be an Apollo to such a girl, when +once the girl had acknowledged to herself that she loved him? + +She had acknowledged it to herself, and had acknowledged it to +him,--as the reader will perhaps say without much delay. But the +courtship had so been carried on that no delay had been needed. All +the world had smiled upon it. When Mr. Crosbie had first come among +them at Allington, as Bernard's guest, during those few days of his +early visit, it had seemed as though Bell had been chiefly noticed +by him. And Bell in her own quiet way had accepted his admiration, +saying nothing of it and thinking but very little. Lily was +heart-free at the time, and had ever been so. No first shadow from +Love's wing had as yet been thrown across the pure tablets of her +bosom. With Bell it was not so,--not so in absolute strictness. +Bell's story, too, must be told, but not on this page. But before +Crosbie had come among them, it was a thing fixed in her mind that +such love as she had felt must be overcome and annihilated. We may +say that it had been overcome and annihilated, and that she would +have sinned in no way had she listened to vows from this new Apollo. +It is almost sad to think that such a man might have had the love of +either of such girls, but I fear that I must acknowledge that it was +so. Apollo, in the plenitude of his power, soon changed his mind; +and before the end of his first visit, had transferred the distant +homage which he was then paying from the elder to the younger sister. +He afterwards returned, as the squire's guest, for a longer sojourn +among them, and at the end of the first month had already been +accepted as Lily's future husband. + +It was beautiful to see how Bell changed in her mood towards Crosbie +and towards her sister as soon as she perceived how the affair was +going. She was not long in perceiving it, having caught the first +glimpses of the idea on that evening when they both dined at the +Great House, leaving their mother alone to eat or to neglect the +peas. For some six or seven weeks Crosbie had been gone, and during +that time Bell had been much more open in speaking of him than her +sister. She had been present when Crosbie had bid them good-by, and +had listened to his eagerness as he declared to Lily that he should +soon be back again at Allington. Lily had taken this very quietly, +as though it had not belonged at all to herself; but Bell had seen +something of the truth, and, believing in Crosbie as an earnest, +honest man, had spoken kind words of him, fostering any little +aptitude for love which might already have formed itself in Lily's +bosom. + +"But he is such an Apollo, you know," Lily had said. + +"He is a gentleman; I can see that." + +"Oh, yes; a man can't be an Apollo unless he's a gentleman." + +"And he's very clever." + +"I suppose he is clever." There was nothing more said about his being +a mere clerk. Indeed, Lily had changed her mind on that subject. +Johnny Eames was a mere clerk; whereas Crosbie, if he was to be +called a clerk at all, was a clerk of some very special denomination. +There may be a great difference between one clerk and another! A +Clerk of the Council and a parish clerk are very different persons. +Lily had got some such idea as this into her head as she attempted +in her own mind to rescue Mr. Crosbie from the lower orders of the +Government service. + +"I wish he were not coming," Mrs. Dale had said to her eldest +daughter. + +"I think you are wrong, mamma." + +"But if she should become fond of him, and then--" + +"Lily will never become really fond of any man till he shall have +given her proper reason. And if he admires her, why should they not +come together?" + +"But she is so young, Bell." + +"She is nineteen; and if they were engaged, perhaps, they might wait +for a year or so. But it's no good talking in that way, mamma. If you +were to tell Lily not to give him encouragement, she would not speak +to him." + +"I should not think of interfering." + +"No, mamma; and therefore it must take its course. For myself, I like +Mr. Crosbie very much." + +"So do I, my dear." + +"And so does my uncle. I wouldn't have Lily take a lover of my +uncle's choosing." + +"I should hope not." + +"But it must be considered a good thing if she happens to choose one +of his liking." + +In this way the matter had been talked over between the mother and +her elder daughter. Then Mr. Crosbie had come; and before the end +of the first month his declared admiration for Lily had proved +the correctness of her sister's foresight. And during that short +courtship all had gone well with the lovers. The squire from the +first had declared himself satisfied with the match, informing Mrs. +Dale, in his cold manner, that Mr. Crosbie was a gentleman with an +income sufficient for matrimony. + +"It would be close enough in London," Mrs. Dale had said. + +"He has more than my brother had when he married," said the squire. + +"If he will only make her as happy as your brother made me,--while +it lasted!" said Mrs. Dale, as she turned away her face to conceal a +tear that was coming. And then there was nothing more said about it +between the squire and his sister-in-law. The squire spoke no word as +to assistance in money matters,--did not even suggest that he would +lend a hand to the young people at starting, as an uncle in such a +position might surely have done. It may well be conceived that Mrs. +Dale herself said nothing on the subject. And, indeed, it may be +conceived, also, that the squire, let his intentions be what they +might, would not divulge them to Mrs. Dale. This was uncomfortable, +but the position was one that was well understood between them. + +Bernard Dale was still at Allington, and had remained there through +the period of Crosbie's absence. Whatever words Mrs. Dale might +choose to speak on the matter would probably be spoken to him; but, +then, Bernard could be quite as close as his uncle. When Crosbie +returned, he and Bernard had, of course, lived much together; and, as +was natural, there came to be close discussion between them as to the +two girls, when Crosbie allowed it to be understood that his liking +for Lily was becoming strong. + +"You know, I suppose, that my uncle wishes me to marry the elder +one," Bernard had said. + +"I have guessed as much." + +"And I suppose the match will come off. She's a pretty girl, and as +good as gold." + +"Yes, she is." + +"I don't pretend to be very much in love with her. It's not my way, +you know. But, some of these days, I shall ask her to have me, and +I suppose it'll all go right. The governor has distinctly promised +to allow me eight hundred a year off the estate, and to take us in +for three months every year if we wish it. I told him simply that I +couldn't do it for less, and he agreed with me." + +"You and he get on very well together." + +"Oh, yes! There's never been any fal-lal between us about love, and +duty, and all that. I think we understand each other, and that's +everything. He knows the comfort of standing well with the heir, +and I know the comfort of standing well with the owner." It must be +admitted, I think, that there was a great deal of sound, common sense +about Bernard Dale. + +"What will he do for the younger sister?" asked Crosbie; and, as he +asked the important question, a close observer might have perceived +that there was some slight tremor in his voice. + +"Ah! that's more than I can tell you. If I were you, I should ask +him. The governor is a plain man, and likes plain business." + +"I suppose you couldn't ask him?" + +"No; I don't think I could. It is my belief that he will not let her +go by any means empty-handed." + +"Well, I should suppose not." + +"But remember this, Crosbie,--I can say nothing to you on which you +are to depend. Lily, also, is as good as gold; and, as you seem to +be fond of her, I should ask the governor, if I were you, in so many +words, what he intends to do. Of course, it's against my interest, +for every shilling he gives Lily will ultimately come out of my +pocket. But I'm not the man to care about that, as you know." + +What might be Crosbie's knowledge on this subject we will not here +inquire; but we may say that it would have mattered very little to +him out of whose pocket the money came, so long as it went into his +own. When he felt quite sure of Lily,--having, in fact, received +Lily's permission to speak to her uncle, and Lily's promise that she +would herself speak to her mother,--he did tell the squire what was +his intention. This he did in an open, manly way, as though he felt +that in asking for much he also offered to give much. + +"I have nothing to say against it," said the squire. + +"And I have your permission to consider myself as engaged to her?" + +"If you have hers and her mother's. Of course you are aware that I +have no authority over her." + +"She would not marry without your sanction." + +"She is very good to think so much of her uncle," said the squire; +and his words as he spoke them sounded very cold in Crosbie's ears. +After that Crosbie said nothing about money, having to confess to +himself that he was afraid to do so. "And what would be the use?" +said he to himself, wishing to make excuses for what he felt to be +weak in his own conduct. "If he should refuse to give her a shilling +I could not go back from it now." And then some ideas ran across his +mind as to the injustice to which men are subjected in this matter of +matrimony. A man has to declare himself before it is fitting that he +should make any inquiry about a lady's money; and then, when he has +declared himself, any such inquiry is unavailing. Which consideration +somewhat cooled the ardour of his happiness. Lily Dale was very +pretty, very nice, very refreshing in her innocence, her purity, +and her quick intelligence. No amusement could be more deliciously +amusing than that of making love to Lily Dale. Her way of flattering +her lover without any intention of flattery on her part, had put +Crosbie into a seventh heaven. In all his experience he had known +nothing like it. "You may be sure of this," she had said,--"I +shall love you with all my heart and all my strength." It was very +nice;--but then what were they to live upon? Could it be that he, +Adolphus Crosbie, should settle down on the north side of the New +Road, as a married man, with eight hundred a year? If indeed the +squire would be as good to Lily as he had promised to be to Bell, +then indeed things might be made to arrange themselves. + +But there was no such drawback on Lily's happiness. Her ideas about +money were rather vague, but they were very honest. She knew she had +none of her own, but supposed it was a husband's duty to find what +would be needful. She knew she had none of her own, and was therefore +aware that she ought not to expect luxuries in the little household +that was to be prepared for her. She hoped, for his sake, that her +uncle might give some assistance, but was quite prepared to prove +that she could be a good poor man's wife. In the old colloquies on +such matters between her and her sister, she had always declared that +some decent income should be considered as indispensable before love +could be entertained. But eight hundred a year had been considered +as doing much more than fulfilling this stipulation. Bell had had +high-flown notions as to the absolute glory of poverty. She had +declared that income should not be considered at all. If she had +loved a man, she could allow herself to be engaged to him, even +though he had no income. Such had been their theories; and as +regarded money, Lily was quite contented with the way in which she +had carried out her own. + +In these beautiful days there was nothing to check her happiness. Her +mother and sister united in telling her that she had done well,--that +she was happy in her choice, and justified in her love. On that first +day, when she told her mother all, she had been made exquisitely +blissful by the way in which her tidings had been received. + +"Oh! mamma, I must tell you something," she said, coming up to her +mother's bedroom, after a long ramble with Mr. Crosbie through those +Allington fields. + +"Is it about Mr. Crosbie?" + +"Yes, mamma." And then the rest had been said through the medium of +warm embraces and happy tears rather than by words. + +As she sat in her mother's room, hiding her face on her mother's +shoulders, Bell had come, and had knelt at her feet. + +"Dear Lily," she had said, "I am so glad." And then Lily remembered +how she had, as it were, stolen her lover from her sister, and she +put her arms round Bell's neck and kissed her. + +"I knew how it was going to be from the very first," said Bell. "Did +I not, mamma?" + +"I'm sure I didn't," said Lily. "I never thought such a thing was +possible." + +"But we did,--mamma and I." + +"Did you?" said Lily. + +"Bell told me that it was to be so," said Mrs. Dale. "But I could +hardly bring myself at first to think that he was good enough for my +darling." + +"Oh, mamma! you must not say that. You must think that he is good +enough for anything." + +"I will think that he is very good." + +"Who could be better? And then, when you remember all that he is to +give up for my sake!--And what can I do for him in return? What have +I got to give him?" + +Neither Mrs. Dale nor Bell could look at the matter in this light, +thinking that Lily gave quite as much as she received. But they both +declared that Crosbie was perfect, knowing that by such assurances +only could they now administer to Lily's happiness; and Lily, between +them, was made perfect in her happiness, receiving all manner of +encouragement in her love, and being nourished in her passion by the +sympathy and approval of her mother and sister. + +And then had come that visit from Johnny Eames. As the poor fellow +marched out of the room, giving them no time to say farewell, Mrs. +Dale and Bell looked at each other sadly; but they were unable to +concoct any arrangement, for Lily had run across the lawn, and was +already on the ground before the window. + +"As soon as we got to the end of the shrubbery there were uncle +Christopher and Bernard close to us; so I told Adolphus he might go +on by himself." + +"And who do you think has been here?" said Bell. But Mrs. Dale said +nothing. Had time been given to her to use her own judgment, nothing +should have been said at that moment as to Johnny's visit. + +"Has anybody been here since I went? Whoever it was didn't stay very +long." + +"Poor Johnny Eames," said Bell. Then the colour came up into Lily's +face, and she bethought herself in a moment that the old friend of +her young days had loved her, that he, too, had had hopes as to his +love, and that now he had heard tidings which would put an end to +such hopes. She understood it all in a moment, but understood also +that it was necessary that she should conceal such understanding. + +"Dear Johnny!" she said. "Why did he not wait for me?" + +"We told him you were out," said Mrs. Dale. "He will be here again +before long, no doubt." + +"And he knows--?" + +"Yes; I thought you would not object to my telling him." + +"No, mamma; of course not. And he has gone back to Guestwick?" + +There was no answer given to this question, nor were there any +further words then spoken about Johnny Eames. Each of these women +understood exactly how the matter stood, and each knew that the +others understood it. The young man was loved by them all, but not +loved with that sort of admiring affection which had been accorded to +Mr. Crosbie. Johnny Eames could not have been accepted as a suitor +by their pet. Mrs. Dale and Bell both felt that. And yet they loved +him for his love, and for that distant, modest respect which had +restrained him from any speech regarding it. Poor Johnny! But he +was young,--hardly as yet out of his hobbledehoyhood,--and he would +easily recover this blow, remembering, and perhaps feeling to his +advantage, some slight touch of its passing romance. It is thus women +think of men who love young and love in vain. + +But Johnny Eames himself, as he rode back to Guestwick, forgetful +of his spurs, and with his gloves stuffed into his pocket, thought +of the matter very differently. He had never promised to himself +any success as to his passion for Lily, and had, indeed, always +acknowledged that he could have no hope; but now, that she was +actually promised to another man, and as good as married, he was not +the less broken-hearted because his former hopes had not been high. +He had never dared to speak to Lily of his love, but he was conscious +that she knew it, and he did not now dare to stand before her as +one convicted of having loved in vain. And then, as he rode back, +he thought also of his other love, not with many of those pleasant +thoughts which Lotharios and Don Juans may be presumed to enjoy when +they contemplate their successes. "I suppose I shall marry her, and +there'll be an end of me," he said to himself, as he remembered a +short note which he had once written to her in his madness. There had +been a little supper at Mrs. Roper's, and Mrs. Lupex and Amelia had +made the punch. After supper, he had been by some accident alone with +Amelia in the dining-parlour; and when, warmed by the generous god, +he had declared his passion, she had shaken her head mournfully, +and had fled from him to some upper region, absolutely refusing +his proffered embrace. But on the same night, before his head had +found its pillow, a note had come to him, half repentant, half +affectionate, half repellent,--"If, indeed, he would swear to her +that his love was honest and manly, then, indeed, she might even +yet,--see him through the chink of the doorway with the purport of +telling him that he was forgiven." Whereupon, a perfidious pencil +being near to his hand, he had written the requisite words. "My +only object in life is to call you my own for ever." Amelia had her +misgivings whether such a promise, in order that it might be used as +legal evidence, should not have been written in ink. It was a painful +doubt; but nevertheless she was as good as her word, and saw him +through the chink, forgiving him for his impetuosity in the parlour +with, perhaps, more clemency than a mere pardon required. "By George! +how well she looked with her hair all loose," he said to himself, as +he at last regained his pillow, still warm with the generous god. +But now, as he thought of that night, returning on his road from +Allington to Guestwick, those loose, floating locks were remembered +by him with no strong feeling as to their charms. And he thought also +of Lily Dale, as she was when he had said farewell to her on that day +before he first went up to London. "I shall care more about seeing +you than anybody," he had said; and he had often thought of the words +since, wondering whether she had understood them as meaning more than +an assurance of ordinary friendship. And he remembered well the dress +she had then worn. It was an old brown merino, which he had known +before, and which, in truth, had nothing in it to recommend it +specially to a lover's notice. "Horrid old thing!" had been Lily's +own verdict respecting the frock, even before that day. But she +had hallowed it in his eyes, and he would have been only too happy +to have worn a shred of it near his heart, as a talisman. How +wonderful in its nature is that passion of which men speak when they +acknowledge to themselves that they are in love. Of all things, it +is, under one condition, the most foul, and under another, the most +fair. As that condition is, a man shows himself either as a beast +or as a god! And so we will let poor Johnny Eames ride back to +Guestwick, suffering much in that he had loved basely--and suffering +much, also, in that he had loved nobly. + +Lily, as she had tripped along through the shrubbery, under her +lover's arm, looking up, every other moment, into his face, had +espied her uncle and Bernard. "Stop," she had said, giving him a +little pull at the arm; "I won't go on. Uncle is always teasing me +with some old-fashioned wit. And I've had quite enough of you to-day, +sir. Mind you come over to-morrow before you go to your shooting." +And so she had left him. + +We may as well learn here what was the question in dispute between +the uncle and cousin, as they were walking there on the broad gravel +path behind the Great House. "Bernard," the old man had said, "I wish +this matter could be settled between you and Bell." + +"Is there any hurry about it, sir?" + +"Yes, there is hurry; or, rather, as I hate hurry in all things, I +would say that there is ground for despatch. Mind, I do not wish to +drive you. If you do not like your cousin, say so." + +"But I do like her; only I have a sort of feeling that these things +grow best by degrees. I quite share your dislike to being in a +hurry." + +"But time enough has been taken now. You see, Bernard, I am going to +make a great sacrifice of income on your behalf." + +"I am sure I am very grateful." + +"I have no children, and have therefore always regarded you as my +own. But there is no reason why my brother Philip's daughter should +not be as dear to me as my brother Orlando's son." + +"Of course not, sir; or, rather, his two daughters." + +"You may leave that matter to me, Bernard. The younger girl is going +to marry this friend of yours, and as he has a sufficient income to +support a wife, I think that my sister-in-law has good reason to be +satisfied by the match. She will not be expected to give up any part +of her small income, as she must have done had Lily married a poor +man." + +"I suppose she could hardly give up much." + +"People must be guided by circumstances. I am not disposed to put +myself in the place of a parent to them both. There is no reason +why I should, and I will not encourage false hopes. If I knew that +this matter between you and Bell was arranged, I should have reason +to feel satisfied with what I was doing." From all which Bernard +began to perceive that poor Crosbie's expectations in the matter of +money would not probably receive much gratification. But he also +perceived--or thought that he perceived--a kind of threat in this +warning from his uncle. "I have promised you eight hundred a year +with your wife," the warning seemed to say. "But if you do not at +once accept it, or let me feel that it will be accepted, it may be +well for me to change my mind--especially as this other niece is +about to be married. If I am to give you so large a fortune with +Bell, I need do nothing for Lily. But if you do not choose to take +Bell and the fortune, why then--" And so on. It was thus that Bernard +read his uncle's caution, as they walked together on the broad gravel +path. + +"I have no desire to postpone the matter any longer," said Bernard. +"I will propose to Bell at once, if you wish it." + +"If your mind be quite made up, I cannot see why you should delay +it." + +And then, having thus arranged that matter, they received their +future relative with kind smiles and soft words. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +THE BEGINNING OF TROUBLES. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +Lily, as she parted with her lover in the garden, had required of him +to attend upon her the next morning as he went to his shooting, and +in obedience to this command he appeared on Mrs. Dale's lawn after +breakfast, accompanied by Bernard and two dogs. The men had guns in +their hands, and were got up with all proper sporting appurtenances, +but it so turned out that they did not reach the stubble-fields on +the farther side of the road until after luncheon. And may it not be +fairly doubted whether croquet is not as good as shooting when a man +is in love? + +It will be said that Bernard Dale was not in love; but they who bring +such accusation against him, will bring it falsely. He was in love +with his cousin Bell according to his manner and fashion. It was not +his nature to love Bell as John Eames loved Lily; but then neither +would his nature bring him into such a trouble as that which the +charms of Amelia Roper had brought upon the poor clerk from the +Income-tax Office. Johnny was susceptible, as the word goes; whereas +Captain Dale was a man who had his feelings well under control. He +was not one to make a fool of himself about a girl, or to die of a +broken heart; but, nevertheless, he would probably love his wife when +he got a wife, and would be a careful father to his children. + +They were very intimate with each other now,--these four. It was +Bernard and Adolphus, or sometimes Apollo, and Bell and Lily among +them; and Crosbie found it to be pleasant enough. A new position +of life had come upon him, and one exceeding pleasant; but, +nevertheless, there were moments in which cold fits of a melancholy +nature came upon him. He was doing the very thing which throughout +all the years of his manhood he had declared to himself that he +would not do. According to his plan of life he was to have eschewed +marriage, and to have allowed himself to regard it as a possible +event only under the circumstances of wealth, rank, and beauty all +coming in his way together. As he had expected no such glorious +prize, he had regarded himself as a man who would reign at the +Beaufort and be potent at Sebright's to the end of his chapter. But +now-- + +It was the fact that he had fallen from his settled position, +vanquished by a silver voice, a pretty wit, and a pair of moderately +bright eyes. He was very fond of Lily, having in truth a stronger +capability for falling in love than his friend Captain Dale; but was +the sacrifice worth his while? This was the question which he asked +himself in those melancholy moments; while he was lying in bed, +for instance, awake in the morning, when he was shaving himself, +and sometimes also when the squire was prosy after dinner. At +such times as these, while he would be listening to Mr. Dale, his +self-reproaches would sometimes be very bitter. Why should he undergo +this, he, Crosbie of Sebright's, Crosbie of the General Committee +Office, Crosbie who would allow no one to bore him between Charing +Cross and the far end of Bayswater,--why should he listen to the +long-winded stories of such a one as Squire Dale? If, indeed, the +squire intended to be liberal to his niece, then it might be very +well. But as yet the squire had given no sign of such intention, and +Crosbie was angry with himself in that he had not had the courage to +ask a question on that subject. + +And thus the course of love was not all smooth to our Apollo. It was +still pleasant for him when he was there on the croquet ground, or +sitting in Mrs. Dale's drawing-room with all the privileges of an +accepted lover. It was pleasant to him also as he sipped the squire's +claret, knowing that his coffee would soon be handed to him by a +sweet girl who would have tripped across the two gardens on purpose +to perform for him this service. There is nothing pleasanter than all +this, although a man when so treated does feel himself to look like a +calf at the altar, ready for the knife, with blue ribbons round his +horns and neck. Crosbie felt that he was such a calf,--and the more +calf-like, in that he had not as yet dared to ask a question about +his wife's fortune. "I will have it out of the old fellow this +evening," he said to himself, as he buttoned on his dandy shooting +gaiters that morning. + +"How nice he looks in them," Lily said to her sister afterwards, +knowing nothing of the thoughts which had troubled her lover's mind +while he was adorning his legs. + +"I suppose we shall come back this way," Crosbie said, as they +prepared to move away on their proper business when lunch was over. + +"Well, not exactly!" said Bernard. "We shall make our way round by +Darvell's farm, and so back by Gruddock's. Are the girls going to +dine up at the Great House to-day?" + +The girls declared that they were not going to dine up at the Great +House,--that they did not intend going to the Great House at all that +evening. + +"Then, as you won't have to dress, you might as well meet us at +Gruddock's gate, at the back of the farmyard. We'll be there exactly +at half-past five." + +"That is to say, we're to be there at half-past five, and you'll keep +us waiting for three-quarters of an hour," said Lily. Nevertheless +the arrangement as proposed was made, and the two ladies were not +at all unwilling to make it. It is thus that the game is carried on +among unsophisticated people who really live in the country. The +farmyard gate at Farmer Gruddock's has not a fitting sound as a +trysting-place in romance, but for people who are in earnest it does +as well as any oak in the middle glade of a forest. Lily Dale was +quite in earnest--and so indeed was Adolphus Crosbie,--only with him +the earnest was beginning to take that shade of brown which most +earnest things have to wear in this vale of tears. With Lily it +was as yet all rose-coloured. And Bernard Dale was also in earnest. +Throughout this morning he had stood very near to Bell on the +lawn, and had thought that his cousin did not receive his little +whisperings with any aversion. Why should she? Lucky girl that she +was, thus to have eight hundred a year pinned to her skirt! + +"I say, Dale," Crosbie said, as in the course of their day's work +they had come round upon Gruddock's ground, and were preparing to +finish off his turnips before they reached the farm-yard gate. And +now, as Crosbie spoke, they stood leaning on the gate, looking at the +turnips while the two dogs squatted on their haunches. Crosbie had +been very silent for the last mile or two, and had been making up his +mind for this conversation. "I say, Dale,--your uncle has never said +a word to me yet as to Lily's fortune." + +"As to Lily's fortune! The question is whether Lily has got a +fortune." + +"He can hardly expect that I am to take her without something. Your +uncle is a man of the world and he knows--" + +"Whether or no my uncle is a man of the world, I will not say; but +you are, Crosbie, whether he is or not. Lily, as you have always +known, has nothing of her own." + +"I am not talking of Lily's own. I'm speaking of her uncle. I have +been straightforward with him; and when I became attached to your +cousin I declared what I meant at once." + +"You should have asked him the question, if you thought there was any +room for such a question." + +"Thought there was any room! Upon my word, you are a cool fellow." + +"Now look here, Crosbie; you may say what you like about my uncle, +but you must not say a word against Lily." + +"Who is going to say a word against her? You can little understand me +if you don't know that the protection of her name against evil words +is already more my care than it is yours. I regard Lily as my own." + +"I only meant to say, that any discontent you may feel as to her +money, or want of money, you must refer to my uncle, and not to the +family at the Small House." + +"I am quite well aware of that." + +"And though you are quite at liberty to say what you like to me about +my uncle, I cannot say that I can see that he has been to blame." + +"He should have told me what her prospects are." + +"But if she have got no prospects! It cannot be an uncle's duty to +tell everybody that he does not mean to give his niece a fortune. In +point of fact, why should you suppose that he has such an intention?" + +"Do you know that he has not? because you once led me to believe that +he would give his niece money." + +"Now, Crosbie, it is necessary that you and I should understand each +other in this matter--" + +"But did you not?" + +"Listen to me for a moment. I never said a word to you about my +uncle's intentions in any way, until after you had become fully +engaged to Lily with the knowledge of us all. Then, when my belief on +the subject could make no possible difference in your conduct, I told +you that I thought my uncle would do something for her. I told you so +because I did think so;--and as your friend, I should have told you +what I thought in any matter that concerned your interest." + +"And now you have changed your opinion?" + +"I have changed my opinion; but very probably without sufficient +ground." + +"That's hard upon me." + +"It may be hard to bear disappointment; but you cannot say that +anybody has ill-used you." + +"And you don't think he will give her anything?" + +"Nothing that will be of much moment to you." + +"And I'm not to say that that's hard? I think it confounded hard. Of +course I must put off my marriage." + +"Why do you not speak to my uncle?" + +"I shall do so. To tell the truth, I think it would have come better +from him; but that is a matter of opinion. I shall tell him very +plainly what I think about it; and if he is angry, why, I suppose I +must leave his house; that will be all." + +"Look here, Crosbie; do not begin your conversation with the purpose +of angering him. He is not a bad-hearted man, but is very obstinate." + +"I can be quite as obstinate as he is." And, then, without further +parley, they went in among the turnips, and each swore against +his luck as he missed his birds. There are certain phases of mind +in which a man can neither ride nor shoot, nor play a stroke at +billiards, nor remember a card at whist,--and to such a phase of mind +had come both Crosbie and Dale after their conversation over the +gate. + +They were not above fifteen minutes late at the trysting-place, but +nevertheless, punctual though they had been, the girls were there +before them. Of course the first inquiries were made about the game, +and of course the gentlemen declared that the birds were scarcer +than they had ever been before, that the dogs were wilder, and their +luck more excruciatingly bad,--to all which apologies very little +attention was paid. Lily and Bell had not come there to inquire after +partridges, and would have forgiven the sportsmen even though no +single bird had been killed. But they could not forgive the want of +good spirits which was apparent. + +"I declare I don't know what's the matter with you," Lily said to her +lover. + +"We have been over fifteen miles of ground, and--" + +"I never knew anything so lackadaisical as you gentlemen from London. +Been over fifteen miles of ground! Why, uncle Christopher would think +nothing of that." + +"Uncle Christopher is made of sterner stuff than we are," said +Crosbie. "They used to be born so sixty or seventy years ago." And +then they walked on through Gruddock's fields, and the home paddocks, +back to the Great House, where they found the squire standing in the +front of the porch. + +The walk had not been so pleasant as they had all intended that +it should be when they made their arrangements for it. Crosbie +had endeavoured to recover his happy state of mind, but had been +unsuccessful; and Lily, fancying that her lover was not all that he +should be, had become reserved and silent. Bernard and Bell had not +shared this discomfiture, but then Bernard and Bell were, as a rule, +much more given to silence than the other two. + +"Uncle," said Lily, "these men have shot nothing, and you cannot +conceive how unhappy they are in consequence. It's all the fault of +the naughty partridges." + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "It's all the fault of the naughty partridges."] + + +"There are plenty of partridges if they knew how to get them," said +the squire. + +"The dogs are uncommonly wild," said Crosbie. + +"They are not wild with me," said the squire; "nor yet with Dingles." +Dingles was the squire's gamekeeper. "The fact is, you young men, +nowadays, expect to have dogs trained to do all the work for you. +It's too much labour for you to walk up to your game. You'll be late +for dinner, girls, if you don't look sharp." + +"We're not coming up this evening, sir," said Bell. + +"And why not?" + +"We're going to stay with mamma." + +"And why will not your mother come with you? I'll be whipped if I +can understand it. One would have thought that under the present +circumstances she would have been glad to see you all as much +together as possible." + +"We're together quite enough," said Lily. "And as for mamma, I +suppose she thinks--" And then she stopped herself, catching the +glance of Bell's imploring eye. She was going to make some indignant +excuse for her mother,--some excuse which would be calculated to make +her uncle angry. It was her practice to say such sharp words to him, +and consequently he did not regard her as warmly as her more silent +and more prudent sister. At the present moment he turned quickly +round and went into the house; and then, with a very few words of +farewell, the two young men followed him. The girls went back over +the little bridge by themselves, feeling that the afternoon had not +gone off altogether well. + +"You shouldn't provoke him, Lily," said Bell. + +"And he shouldn't say those things about mamma. It seems to me that +you don't mind what he says." + +"Oh, Lily." + +"No more you do. He makes me so angry that I cannot hold my tongue. +He thinks that because all the place is his, he is to say just what +he likes. Why should mamma go up there to please his humours?" + +"You may be sure that mamma will do what she thinks best. She is +stronger-minded than uncle Christopher, and does not want any one to +help her. But, Lily, you shouldn't speak as though I were careless +about mamma. You didn't mean that, I know." + +"Of course I didn't." Then the two girls joined their mother in their +own little domain; but we will return to the men at the Great House. + +Crosbie, when he went up to dress for dinner, fell into one of those +melancholy fits of which I have spoken. Was he absolutely about to +destroy all the good that he had done for himself throughout the past +years of his hitherto successful life? or rather, as he at last put +the question to himself more strongly,--was it not the case that +he had already destroyed all that success? His marriage with Lily, +whether it was to be for good or bad, was now a settled thing, and +was not regarded as a matter admitting of any doubt. To do the man +justice, I must declare that in all these moments of misery he still +did the best he could to think of Lily herself as of a great treasure +which he had won,--as of a treasure which should, and perhaps would, +compensate him for his misery. But there was the misery very plain. +He must give up his clubs, and his fashion, and all that he had +hitherto gained, and be content to live a plain, humdrum, domestic +life, with eight hundred a year, and a small house, full of babies. +It was not the kind of Elysium for which he had tutored himself. Lily +was very nice, very nice indeed. She was, as he said to himself, "by +odds, the nicest girl that he had ever seen." Whatever might now turn +up, her happiness should be his first care. But as for his own,--he +began to fear that the compensation would hardly be perfect. "It +is my own doing," he said to himself, intending to be rather noble +in the purport of his soliloquy, "I have trained myself for other +things,--very foolishly. Of course I must suffer,--suffer damnably. +But she shall never know it. Dear, sweet, innocent, pretty little +thing!" And then he went on about the squire, as to whom he felt +himself entitled to be indignant by his own disinterested and manly +line of conduct towards the niece. "But I will let him know what I +think about it," he said. "It's all very well for Dale to say that I +have been treated fairly. It isn't fair for a man to put forward his +niece under false pretences. Of course I thought that he intended to +provide for her." And then, having made up his mind in a very manly +way that he would not desert Lily altogether after having promised +to marry her, he endeavoured to find consolation in the reflection +that he might, at any rate, allow himself two years' more run as a +bachelor in London. Girls who have to get themselves married without +fortunes always know that they will have to wait. Indeed, Lily had +already told him, that as far as she was concerned, she was in +no hurry. He need not, therefore, at once withdraw his name from +Sebright's. Thus he endeavoured to console himself, still, however, +resolving that he would have a little serious conversation with the +squire that very evening as to Lily's fortune. + +And what was the state of Lily's mind at the same moment, while she, +also, was performing some slight toilet changes preparatory to their +simple dinner at the Small House? + +"I didn't behave well to him," she said to herself; "I never do. +I forget how much he is giving up for me; and then, when anything +annoys him, I make it worse instead of comforting him." And upon that +she made accusation against herself that she did not love him half +enough,--that she did not let him see how thoroughly and perfectly +she loved him. She had an idea of her own, that as a girl should +never show any preference for a man till circumstances should have +fully entitled him to such manifestation, so also should she make no +drawback on her love, but pour it forth for his benefit with all her +strength, when such circumstances had come to exist. But she was ever +feeling that she was not acting up to her theory, now that the time +for such practice had come. She would unwittingly assume little +reserves, and make small pretences of indifference in spite of her +own judgment. She had done so on this afternoon, and had left him +without giving him her hand to press, without looking up into his +face with an assurance of love, and therefore she was angry with +herself. "I know I shall teach him to hate me," she said out loud to +Bell. + +"That would be very sad," said Bell; "but I don't see it." + +"If you were engaged to a man you would be much better to him. You +would not say so much, but what you did say would be all affection. +I am always making horrid little speeches, for which I should like +to cut out my tongue afterwards." + +"Whatever sort of speeches they are, I think that he likes them." + +"Does he? I'm not all so sure of that, Bell. Of course I don't expect +that he is to scold me,--not yet, that is. But I know by his eye when +he is pleased and when he is displeased." + +And then they went down to their dinner. + +Up at the Great House the three gentlemen met together in apparent +good humour. Bernard Dale was a man of an equal temperament, who +rarely allowed any feeling, or even any annoyance, to interfere +with his usual manner,--a man who could always come to table with +a smile, and meet either his friend or his enemy with a properly +civil greeting. Not that he was especially a false man. There was +nothing of deceit in his placidity of demeanour. It arose from true +equanimity; but it was the equanimity of a cold disposition rather +than of one well ordered by discipline. The squire was aware that +he had been unreasonably petulant before dinner, and having taken +himself to task in his own way, now entered the dining-room with the +courteous greeting of a host. "I find that your bag was not so bad +after all," he said, "and I hope that your appetite is at least as +good as your bag." + +Crosbie smiled, and made himself pleasant, and said a few flattering +words. A man who intends to take some very decided step in an hour or +two generally contrives to bear himself in the meantime as though the +trifles of the world were quite sufficient for him. So he praised the +squire's game; said a good-natured word as to Dingles, and bantered +himself as to his own want of skill. Then all went merry,--not quite +as a marriage bell; but still merry enough for a party of three +gentlemen. + +But Crosbie's resolution was fixed; and as soon, therefore, as the +old butler was permanently gone, and the wine steadily in transit +upon the table, he began his task, not without some apparent +abruptness. Having fully considered the matter, he had determined +that he would not wait for Bernard Dale's absence. He thought +it possible that he might be able to fight his battle better in +Bernard's presence than he could do behind his back. + +"Squire," he began. They all called him squire when they were on good +terms together, and Crosbie thought it well to begin as though there +was nothing amiss between them. "Squire, of course I am thinking a +good deal at the present moment as to my intended marriage." + +"That's natural enough," said the squire. + +"Yes, by George! sir, a man doesn't make a change like that without +finding that he has got something to think of." + +"I suppose not," said the squire. "I never was in the way of getting +married myself, but I can easily understand that." + +"I've been the luckiest fellow in the world in finding such a girl as +your niece--" Whereupon the squire bowed, intending to make a little +courteous declaration that the luck in the matter was on the side +of the Dales. "I know that," continued Crosbie. "She is exactly +everything that a girl ought to be." + +"She is a good girl," said Bernard. + +"Yes; I think she is," said the squire. + +"But it seems to me," said Crosbie, finding that it was necessary to +dash at once headlong into the water, "that something ought to be +said as to my means of supporting her properly." + +Then he paused for a moment, expecting that the squire would speak. +But the squire sat perfectly still, looking intently at the empty +fireplace and saying nothing. "Of supporting her," continued Crosbie, +"with all those comforts to which she has been accustomed." + +"She has never been used to expense," said the squire. "Her mother, +as you doubtless know, is not a rich woman." + +"But living here, Lily has had great advantages,--a horse to ride, +and all that sort of thing." + +"I don't suppose she expects a horse in the park," said the squire, +with a very perceptible touch of sarcasm in his voice. + +"I hope not," said Crosbie. + +"I believe she has had the use of one of the ponies here sometimes, +but I hope that has not made her extravagant in her ideas. I did not +think that there was anything of that nonsense about either of them." + +"Nor is there,--as far as I know." + +"Nothing of the sort," said Bernard. + +"But the long and the short of it is this, sir!" and Crosbie, as he +spoke, endeavoured to maintain his ordinary voice and usual coolness, +but his heightened colour betrayed that he was nervous. "Am I to +expect any accession of income with my wife?" + +"I have not spoken to my sister-in-law on the subject," said the +squire; "but I should fear that she cannot do much." + +"As a matter of course, I would not take a shilling from her," said +Crosbie. + +"Then that settles it," said the squire. + +Crosbie paused a moment, during which his colour became very red. He +unconsciously took up an apricot and eat it, and then he spoke out. +"Of course I was not alluding to Mrs. Dale's income; I would not, on +any account, disturb her arrangements. But I wished to learn, sir, +whether you intend to do anything for your niece." + +"In the way of giving her a fortune? Nothing at all. I intend to do +nothing at all." + +"Then I suppose we understand each other,--at last," said Crosbie. + +"I should have thought that we might have understood each other at +first," said the squire. "Did I ever make you any promise, or give +you any hint that I intended to provide for my niece? Have I ever +held out to you any such hope? I don't know what you mean by that +word 'at last'--unless it be to give offence." + +"I meant the truth, sir;--I meant this--that seeing the manner in +which your nieces lived with you, I thought it probable that you +would treat them both as though they were your daughters. Now I find +out my mistake;--that is all!" + +"You have been mistaken,--and without a shadow of excuse for your +mistake." + +"Others have been mistaken with me," said Crosbie, forgetting, on the +spur of the moment, that he had no right to drag the opinion of any +other person into the question. + +"What others?" said the squire, with anger; and his mind immediately +betook itself to his sister-in-law. + +"I do not want to make any mischief," said Crosbie. + +"If anybody connected with my family has presumed to tell you that +I intended to do more for my niece Lilian than I have already done, +such person has not only been false, but ungrateful. I have given to +no one any authority to make any promise on behalf of my niece." + +"No such promise has been made. It was only a suggestion," said +Crosbie. + +He was not in the least aware to whom the squire was alluding in his +anger; but he perceived that his host was angry, and having already +reflected that he should not have alluded to the words which Bernard +Dale had spoken in his friendship, he resolved to name no one. +Bernard, as he sat by listening, knew exactly how the matter stood; +but, as he thought, there could be no reason why he should subject +himself to his uncle's ill-will, seeing that he had committed no sin. + +"No such suggestion should have been made," said the squire. "No one +has had a right to make such a suggestion. No one has been placed by +me in a position to make such a suggestion to you without manifest +impropriety. I will ask no further questions about it; but it is +quite as well that you should understand at once that I do not +consider it to be my duty to give my niece Lilian a fortune on her +marriage. I trust that your offer to her was not made under any such +delusion." + +"No, sir; it was not," said Crosbie. + +"Then I suppose that no great harm has been done. I am sorry if false +hopes have been given to you; but I am sure you will acknowledge that +they were not given to you by me." + +"I think you have misunderstood me, sir. My hopes were never very +high; but I thought it right to ascertain your intentions." + +"Now you know them. I trust, for the girl's sake, that it will make +no difference to her. I can hardly believe that she has been to blame +in the matter." + +Crosbie hastened at once to exculpate Lily; and then, with more +awkward blunders than a man should have made who was so well +acquainted with fashionable life as the Apollo of the Beaufort, he +proceeded to explain that, as Lily was to have nothing, his own +pecuniary arrangements would necessitate some little delay in their +marriage. + +"As far as I myself am concerned," said the squire, "I do not like +long engagements. But I am quite aware that in this matter I have no +right to interfere, unless, indeed--" and then he stopped himself. + +"I suppose it will be well to fix some day; eh, Crosbie?" said +Bernard. + +"I will discuss that matter with Mrs. Dale," said Crosbie. + +"If you and she understand each other," said the squire, "that will +be sufficient. Shall we go into the drawing-room now, or out upon the +lawn?" + +That evening, as Crosbie went to bed, he felt that he had not gained +the victory in his encounter with the squire. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +IT CANNOT BE. + + +On the following morning at breakfast each of the three gentlemen +at the Great House received a little note on pink paper, nominally +from Mrs. Dale, asking them to drink tea at the Small House on that +day week. At the bottom of the note which Lily had written for Mr. +Crosbie was added: "Dancing on the lawn, if we can get anybody to +stand up. Of course you must come, whether you like it or not. And +Bernard also. Do your possible to talk my uncle into coming." And +this note did something towards re-creating good-humour among them +at the breakfast-table. It was shown to the squire, and at last he +was brought to say that he would perhaps go to Mrs. Dale's little +evening-party. + +It may be well to explain that this promised entertainment had been +originated with no special view to the pleasure of Mr. Crosbie, but +altogether on behalf of poor Johnny Eames. What was to be done in +that matter? This question had been fully discussed between Mrs. Dale +and Bell, and they had come to the conclusion that it would be best +to ask Johnny over to a little friendly gathering, in which he might +be able to meet Lily with some strangers around them. In this way +his embarrassment might be overcome. It would never do, as Mrs. Dale +said, that he should be suffered to stay away, unnoticed by them. +"When the ice is once broken he won't mind it," said Bell. And, +therefore, early in the day, a messenger was sent over to Guestwick, +who returned with a note from Mrs. Eames, saying that she would come +on the evening in question, with her son and daughter. They would +keep the fly and get back to Guestwick the same evening. This was +added, as an offer had been made of beds for Mrs. Eames and Mary. + +Before the evening of the party another memorable occurrence had +taken place at Allington, which must be described, in order that the +feelings of the different people on that evening may be understood. +The squire had given his nephew to understand that he wished to have +that matter settled as to his niece Bell; and as Bernard's views were +altogether in accordance with the squire's, he resolved to comply +with his uncle's wishes. The project with him was not a new thing. He +did love his cousin quite sufficiently for purposes of matrimony, and +was minded that it would be a good thing for him to marry. He could +not marry without money, but this marriage would give him an income +without the trouble of intricate settlements, or the interference of +lawyers hostile to his own interests. It was possible that he might +do better; but then it was possible also that he might do much worse; +and, in addition to this, he was fond of his cousin. He discussed the +matter within himself, very calmly; made some excellent resolutions +as to the kind of life which it would behove him to live as a married +man; settled on the street in London in which he would have his +house, and behaved very prettily to Bell for four or five days +running. That he did not make love to her, in the ordinary sense of +the word, must, I suppose, be taken for granted, seeing that Bell +herself did not recognize the fact. She had always liked her cousin, +and thought that in these days he was making himself particularly +agreeable. + +On the evening before the party the girls were at the Great House, +having come up nominally with the intention of discussing the +expediency of dancing on the lawn. Lily had made up her mind that it +was to be so, but Bell had objected that it would be cold and damp, +and that the drawing-room would be nicer for dancing. + +"You see we've only got four young gentlemen and one ungrown," said +Lily; "and they will look so stupid standing up all properly in a +room, as though we had a regular party." + +"Thank you for the compliment," said Crosbie, taking off his straw +hat. + +"So you will; and we girls will look more stupid still. But out on +the lawn it won't look stupid at all. Two or three might stand up on +the lawn, and it would be jolly enough." + +"I don't quite see it," said Bernard. + +"Yes, I think I see it," said Crosbie. "The unadaptability of the +lawn for the purpose of a ball--" + +"Nobody is thinking of a ball," said Lily, with mock petulance. + +"I'm defending you, and yet you won't let me speak. The +unadaptability of the lawn for the purposes of a ball will conceal +the insufficiency of four men and a boy as a supply of male dancers. +But, Lily, who is the ungrown gentleman? Is it your old friend Johnny +Eames?" + +Lily's voice became sobered as she answered him. + +"Oh, no; I did not mean Mr. Eames. He is coming, but I did not mean +him. Dick Boyce, Mr. Boyce's son, is only sixteen. He is the ungrown +gentleman." + +"And who is the fourth adult?" + +"Dr. Crofts, from Guestwick. I do hope you will like him, Adolphus. +We think he is the very perfection of a man." + +"Then of course I shall hate him; and be very jealous, too!" + +And then that pair went off together, fighting their own little +battle on that head, as turtle-doves will sometimes do. They went +off, and Bernard was left with Bell standing together over the ha-ha +fence which divides the garden at the back of the house from the +field. + +"Bell," he said, "they seem very happy, don't they?" + +"And they ought to be happy now, oughtn't they? Dear Lily! I hope he +will be good to her. Do you know, Bernard, though he is your friend, +I am very, very anxious about it. It is such a vast trust to put in a +man when we do not quite know him." + +"Yes, it is; but they'll do very well together. Lily will be happy +enough." + +"And he?" + +"I suppose he'll be happy, too. He'll feel himself a little +straightened as to income at first, but that will all come round." + +"If he is not, she will be wretched." + +"They will do very well. Lily must be prepared to make the money go +as far as she can, that's all." + +"Lily won't feel the want of money. It is not that. But if he lets +her know that she has made him a poor man, then she will be unhappy. +Is he extravagant, Bernard?" + +But Bernard was anxious to discuss another subject, and therefore +would not speak such words of wisdom as to Lily's engagement as might +have been expected from him had he been in a different frame of mind. + +"No, I should say not," said he. "But, Bell--" + +"I do not know that we could have acted otherwise than we have done, +and yet I fear that we have been rash. If he makes her unhappy, +Bernard, I shall never forgive you." + +But as she said this she put her hand lovingly upon his arm, as a +cousin might do, and spoke in a tone which divested her threat of its +acerbity. + +"You must not quarrel with me, Bell, whatever may happen. I cannot +afford to quarrel with you." + +"Of course I was not in earnest as to that." + +"You and I must never quarrel, Bell; at least, I hope not. I could +bear to quarrel with any one rather than with you." And then, as he +spoke, there was something in his voice which gave the girl some +slight, indistinct warning of what might be his intention. Not +that she said to herself at once, that he was going to make her an +offer of his hand,--now, on the spot; but she felt that he intended +something beyond the tenderness of ordinary cousinly affection. + +"I hope we shall never quarrel," she said. But as she spoke, her +mind was settling itself,--forming its resolution, and coming to +a conclusion as to the sort of love which Bernard might, perhaps, +expect. And it formed another conclusion; as to the sort of love +which might be given in return. + +"Bell," he said, "you and I have always been dear friends." + +"Yes; always." + +"Why should we not be something more than friends?" + +To give Captain Dale his due I must declare that his voice was +perfectly natural as he asked this question, and that he showed no +signs of nervousness, either in his face or limbs. He had made up his +mind to do it on that occasion, and he did it without any signs of +outward disturbance. He asked his question, and then he waited for +his answer. In this he was rather hard upon his cousin; for, though +the question had certainly been asked in language that could not be +mistaken, still the matter had not been put forward with all that +fulness which a young lady, under such circumstances, has a right to +expect. + +They had sat down on the turf close to the ha-ha, and they were so +near that Bernard was able to put out his hand with the view of +taking that of his cousin within his own. But she contrived to keep +her hands locked together, so that he merely held her gently by the +wrist. + +"I don't quite understand, Bernard," she said, after a minute's +pause. + +"Shall we be more than cousins? Shall we be man and wife?" + +Now, at least, she could not say that she did not understand. If the +question was ever asked plainly, Bernard Dale had asked it plainly. +Shall we be man and wife? Few men, I fancy, dare to put it all at +once in so abrupt a way, and yet I do not know that the English +language affords any better terms for the question. + +"Oh, Bernard! you have surprised me." + +"I hope I have not pained you, Bell. I have been long thinking of +this, but I am well aware that my own manner, even to you, has not +been that of a lover. It is not in me to smile and say soft things, +as Crosbie can. But I do not love you the less on that account. I +have looked about for a wife, and I have thought that if I could gain +you I should be very fortunate." + +He did not then say anything about his uncle, and the eight hundred a +year; but he fully intended to do so as soon as an opportunity should +serve. He was quite of opinion that eight hundred a year and the +good-will of a rich uncle were strong grounds for matrimony,--were +grounds even for love; and he did not doubt but his cousin would see +the matter in the same light. + +"You are very good to me--more than good. Of course I know that. But, +oh, Bernard! I did not expect this a bit." + +"But you will answer me, Bell! Or if you would like time to think, or +to speak to my aunt, perhaps you will answer me to-morrow?" + +"I think I ought to answer you now." + +"Not if it be a refusal, Bell. Think well of it before you do that. +I should have told you that our uncle wishes this match, and that he +will remove any difficulty there might be about money." + +"I do not care for money." + +"But, as you were saying about Lily, one has to be prudent. Now, in +our marriage, everything of that kind would be well arranged. My +uncle has promised me that he would at once allow us--" + +"Stop, Bernard. You must not be led to suppose that any offer made by +my uncle would help to purchase-- Indeed, there can be no need for us +to talk about money." + +"I wished to let you know the facts of the case, exactly as they are. +And as to our uncle, I cannot but think that you would be glad, in +such a matter, to have him on your side." + +"Yes, I should be glad to have him on my side; that is, if I were +going-- But my uncle's wishes could not influence my decision. The +fact is, Bernard--" + +"Well, dearest, what is the fact?" + +"I have always regarded you rather as a brother than as anything +else." + +"But that regard may be changed." + +"No; I think not. Bernard, I will go further and speak on at once. +It cannot be changed. I know myself well enough to say that with +certainty. It cannot be changed." + +"You mean that you cannot love me?" + +"Not as you would have me do. I do love you very dearly,--very +dearly, indeed. I would go to you in any trouble, exactly as I would +go to a brother." + +"And must that be all, Bell?" + +"Is not that all the sweetest love that can be felt? But you must +not think me ungrateful, or proud. I know well that you are--are +proposing to do for me much more than I deserve. Any girl might be +proud of such an offer. But, dear Bernard--" + +"Bell, before you give me a final answer, sleep upon this and talk it +over with your mother. Of course you were unprepared, and I cannot +expect that you should promise me so much without a moment's +consideration." + +"I was unprepared, and therefore I have not answered you as I should +have done. But as it has gone so far, I cannot let you leave me in +uncertainty. It is not necessary that I should keep you waiting. In +this matter I do know my own mind. Dear Bernard, indeed, indeed it +cannot be as you have proposed." + +She spoke in a low voice, and in a tone that had in it something of +almost imploring humility; but, nevertheless, it conveyed to her +cousin an assurance that she was in earnest; an assurance also that +that earnest would not readily be changed. Was she not a Dale? And +when did a Dale change his mind? For a while he sat silent by her; +and she too, having declared her intention, refrained from further +words. For some minutes they thus remained, looking down into the +ha-ha. She still kept her old position, holding her hands clasped +together over her knees; but he was now lying on his side, supporting +his head upon his arm, with his face indeed turned towards her, but +with his eyes fixed upon the grass. During this time, however, he was +not idle. His cousin's answer, though it had grieved him, had not +come upon him as a blow stunning him for a moment, and rendering him +unfit for instant thought. He was grieved, more grieved than he had +thought he would have been. The thing that he had wanted moderately, +he now wanted the more in that it was denied to him. But he was able +to perceive the exact truth of his position, and to calculate what +might be his chances if he went on with his suit, and what his +advantage if he at once abandoned it. + +"I do not wish to press you unfairly, Bell; but may I ask if any +other preference--" + +"There is no other preference," she answered. And then again they +were silent for a minute or two. + +"My uncle will be much grieved at this," he said at last. + +"If that be all," said Bell, "I do not think that we need either of +us trouble ourselves. He can have no right to dispose of our hearts." + +"I understand the taunt, Bell." + +"Dear Bernard, there was no taunt. I intended none." + +"I need not speak of my own grief. You cannot but know how deep it +must be. Why should I have submitted myself to this mortification had +not my heart been concerned? But that I will bear, if I must bear +it--" And then he paused, looking up at her. + +"It will soon pass away," she said. + +"I will accept it at any rate without complaint. But as to my uncle's +feelings, it is open to me to speak, and to you, I should think, to +listen without indifference. He has been kind to us both, and loves +us two above any other living beings. It's not surprising that he +should wish to see us married, and it will not be surprising if your +refusal should be a great blow to him." + +"I shall be sorry--very sorry." + +"I also shall be sorry. I am now speaking of him. He has set his +heart upon it; and as he has but few wishes, few desires, so is he +the more constant in those which he expresses. When he knows this, +I fear that we shall find him very stern." + +"Then he will be unjust." + +"No; he will not be unjust. He is always a just man. But he will +be unhappy, and will, I fear, make others unhappy. Dear Bell, may +not this thing remain for a while unsettled? You will not find that +I take advantage of your goodness. I will not intrude it on you +again,--say for a fortnight,--or till Crosbie shall be gone." + +"No, no, no," said Bell. + +"Why are you so eager in your noes? There can be no danger in such +delay. I will not press you,--and you can let my uncle think that you +have at least taken time for consideration." + +"There are things as to which one is bound to answer at once. If +I doubted myself, I would let you persuade me. But I do not doubt +myself, and I should be wrong to keep you in suspense. Dear, dearest +Bernard, it cannot be; and as it cannot be, you, as my brother, would +bid me say so clearly. It cannot be." + +As she made this last assurance, they heard the steps of Lily and her +lover close to them, and they both felt that it would be well that +their intercourse should thus be brought to a close. Neither had +known how to get up and leave the place, and yet each had felt that +nothing further could then be said. + +"Did you ever see anything so sweet and affectionate and romantic?" +said Lily, standing over them and looking at them. "And all the +while we have been so practical and worldly. Do you know, Bell, that +Adolphus seems to think we can't very well keep pigs in London. It +makes me so unhappy." + +"It does seem a pity," said Crosbie, "for Lily seems to know all +about pigs." + +"Of course I do. I haven't lived in the country all my life for +nothing. Oh, Bernard, I should so like to see you rolled down into +the bottom of the ha-ha. Just remain there, and we'll do it between +us." + +Whereupon Bernard got up, as did Bell also, and they all went in to +tea. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +MRS. DALE'S LITTLE PARTY. + + +The next day was the day of the party. Not a word more was said on +that evening between Bell and her cousin, at least, not a word more +of any peculiar note; and when Crosbie suggested to his friend on the +following morning that they should both step down and see how the +preparations were getting on at the Small House, Bernard declined. + +"You forget, my dear fellow, that I'm not in love as you are," said +he. + +"But I thought you were," said Crosbie. + +"No; not at all as you are. You are an accepted lover, and will be +allowed to do anything,--whip the creams, and tune the piano, if +you know how. I'm only a half sort of lover, meditating a mariage +de convenance to oblige an uncle, and by no means required by the +terms of my agreement to undergo a very rigid amount of drill. Your +position is just the reverse." In saying all which Captain Dale was +no doubt very false; but if falseness can be forgiven to a man in any +position, it may be forgiven in that which he then filled. So Crosbie +went down to the Small House alone. + +"Dale wouldn't come," said he, speaking to the three ladies together, +"I suppose he's keeping himself up for the dance on the lawn." + +"I hope he will be here in the evening," said Mrs. Dale. But Bell +said never a word. She had determined, that under the existing +circumstances, it would be only fair to her cousin that his offer +and her answer to it should be kept secret. She knew why Bernard +did not come across from the Great House with his friend, but she +said nothing of her knowledge. Lily looked at her, but looked +without speaking; and as for Mrs. Dale, she took no notice of the +circumstance. Thus they passed the afternoon together without further +mention of Bernard Dale; and it may be said, at any rate of Lily and +Crosbie, that his presence was not missed. + +Mrs. Eames, with her son and daughter, were the first to come. "It is +so nice of you to come early," said Lily, trying on the spur of the +moment to say something which should sound pleasant and happy, but in +truth using that form of welcome which to my ears sounds always the +most ungracious. "Ten minutes before the time named; and, of course, +you must have understood that I meant thirty minutes after it!" That +is my interpretation of the words when I am thanked for coming early. +But Mrs. Eames was a kind, patient, unexacting woman, who took all +civil words as meaning civility. And, indeed, Lily had meant nothing +else. + +"Yes; we did come early," said Mrs. Eames, "because Mary thought she +would like to go up into the girls' room and just settle her hair, +you know." + +"So she shall," said Lily, who had taken Mary by the hand. + +"And we knew we shouldn't be in the way. Johnny can go out into the +garden if there's anything left to be done." + +"He shan't be banished unless he likes it," said Mrs. Dale. "If he +finds us women too much for his unaided strength--" + +John Eames muttered something about being very well as he was, and +then got himself into an arm-chair. He had shaken hands with Lily, +trying as he did so to pronounce articulately a little speech which +he had prepared for the occasion. "I have to congratulate you, Lily, +and I hope with all my heart that you will be happy." The words were +simple enough, and were not ill-chosen, but the poor young man never +got them spoken. The word "congratulate" did reach Lily's ears, and +she understood it all;--both the kindness of the intended speech and +the reason why it could not be spoken. + +"Thank you, John," she said; "I hope I shall see so much of you in +London. It will be so nice to have an old Guestwick friend near me." +She had her own voice, and the pulses of her heart better under +command than had he; but she also felt that the occasion was trying +to her. The man had loved her honestly and truly,--still did love +her, paying her the great homage of bitter grief in that he had lost +her. Where is the girl who will not sympathize with such love and +such grief, if it be shown only because it cannot be concealed, and +be declared against the will of him who declares it? + +Then came in old Mrs. Hearn, whose cottage was not distant two +minutes' walk from the Small House. She always called Mrs. Dale "my +dear," and petted the girls as though they had been children. When +told of Lily's marriage, she had thrown up her hands with surprise, +for she had still left in some corner of her drawers remnants of +sugar-plums which she had bought for Lily. "A London man is he? Well, +well. I wish he lived in the country. Eight hundred a year, my dear?" +she had said to Mrs. Dale. "That sounds nice down here, because we +are all so poor. But I suppose eight hundred a year isn't very much +up in London?" + +"The squire's coming, I suppose, isn't he?" said Mrs. Hearn, as she +seated herself on the sofa close to Mrs. Dale. + +"Yes, he'll be here by-and-by; unless he changes his mind, you know. +He doesn't stand on ceremony with me." + +"He change his mind! When did you ever know Christopher Dale change +his mind?" + +"He is pretty constant, Mrs. Hearn." + +"If he promised to give a man a penny, he'd give it. But if he +promised to take away a pound, he'd take it, though it cost him years +to get it. He's going to turn me out of my cottage, he says." + +"Nonsense, Mrs. Hearn!" + +"Jolliffe came and told me"--Jolliffe, I should explain, was the +bailiff,--"that if I didn't like it as it was, I might leave it, and +that the squire could get double the rent for it. Now all I asked was +that he should do a little painting in the kitchen; and the wood is +all as black as his hat." + +"I thought it was understood you were to paint inside." + +"How can I do it, my dear, with a hundred and forty pounds for +everything? I must live, you know! And he that has workmen about him +every day of the year! And was that a message to send to me, who have +lived in the parish for fifty years? Here he is." And Mrs. Hearn +majestically raised herself from her seat as the squire entered the +room. + +With him entered Mr. and Mrs. Boyce, from the parsonage, with Dick +Boyce, the ungrown gentleman, and two girl Boyces, who were fourteen +and fifteen years of age. Mrs. Dale, with the amount of good-nature +usual on such occasions, asked reproachfully why Jane, and Charles, +and Florence, and Bessy, did not come,--Boyce being a man who had +his quiver full of them,--and Mrs. Boyce, giving the usual answer, +declared that she already felt that they had come as an avalanche. + +"But where are the--the--the young men?" asked Lily, assuming a look +of mock astonishment. + +"They'll be across in two or three hours' time," said the squire. +"They both dressed for dinner, and, as I thought, made themselves +very smart; but for such a grand occasion as this they thought a +second dressing necessary. How do you do, Mrs. Hearn? I hope you +are quite well. No rheumatism left, eh?" This the squire said very +loud into Mrs. Hearn's ear. Mrs. Hearn was perhaps a little hard of +hearing; but it was very little, and she hated to be thought deaf. +She did not, moreover, like to be thought rheumatic. This the squire +knew, and therefore his mode of address was not good-natured. + +"You needn't make me jump so, Mr. Dale. I'm pretty well now, thank +ye. I did have a twinge in the spring,--that cottage is so badly +built for draughts! 'I wonder you can live in it,' my sister said to +me the last time she was over. I suppose I should be better off over +with her at Hamersham, only one doesn't like to move, you know, after +living fifty years in one parish." + +"You mustn't think of going away from us," Mrs. Boyce said, speaking +by no means loud, but slowly and plainly, hoping thereby to flatter +the old woman. But the old woman understood it all. "She's a sly +creature, is Mrs. Boyce," Mrs. Hearn said to Mrs. Dale, before the +evening was out. There are some old people whom it is very hard to +flatter, and with whom it is, nevertheless, almost impossible to live +unless you do flatter them. + +At last the two heroes came in across the lawn at the drawing-room +window; and Lily, as they entered, dropped a low curtsey before them, +gently swelling down upon the ground with her light muslin dress, +till she looked like some wondrous flower that had bloomed upon the +carpet, and putting her two hands, with the backs of her fingers +pressed together, on the buckle of her girdle, she said, "We are +waiting upon your honours' kind grace, and feel how much we owe to +you for favouring our poor abode." And then she gently rose up again, +smiling, oh, so sweetly, on the man she loved, and the puffings and +swellings went out of her muslin. + +I think there is nothing in the world so pretty as the conscious +little tricks of love played off by a girl towards the man she loves, +when she has made up her mind boldly that all the world may know that +she has given herself away to him. + +I am not sure that Crosbie liked it all as much as he should have +done. The bold assurance of her love when they two were alone +together he did like. What man does not like such assurances on such +occasions? But perhaps he would have been better pleased had Lily +shown more reticence,--been more secret, as it were, as to her +feelings, when others were around them. It was not that he accused +her in his thoughts of any want of delicacy. He read her character +too well;--was, if not quite aright in his reading of it, at least +too nearly so to admit of his making against her any such accusation +as that. It was the calf-like feeling that was disagreeable to him. +He did not like to be presented, even to the world of Allington, as +a victim caught for the sacrifice, and bound with ribbon for the +altar. And then there lurked behind it all a feeling that it might be +safer that the thing should not be so openly manifested before all +the world. Of course, everybody knew that he was engaged to Lily +Dale; nor had he, as he said to himself, perhaps too frequently, +the slightest idea of breaking from that engagement. But then the +marriage might possibly be delayed. He had not discussed that matter +yet with Lily, having, indeed, at the first moment of his gratified +love, created some little difficulty for himself by pressing for an +early day. "I will refuse you nothing," she had said to him; "but +do not make it too soon." He saw, therefore, before him some little +embarrassment, and was inclined to wish that Lily would abstain from +that manner which seemed to declare to all the world that she was +about to be married immediately. "I must speak to her to-morrow," he +said to himself, as he accepted her salute with a mock gravity equal +to her own. + +Poor Lily! How little she understood as yet what was passing through +his mind. Had she known his wish she would have wrapped up her love +carefully in a napkin, so that no one should have seen it,--no one +but he, when he might choose to have the treasure uncovered for his +sight. And it was all for his sake that she had been thus open in her +ways. She had seen girls who were half ashamed of their love; but she +would never be ashamed of hers or of him. She had given herself to +him; and now all the world might know it, if all the world cared +for such knowledge. Why should she be ashamed of that which, to her +thinking, was so great an honour to her? She had heard of girls who +would not speak of their love, arguing to themselves cannily that +there may be many a slip between the cup and the lip. There could be +no need of any such caution with her. There could surely be no such +slip! Should there be such a fall,--should any such fate, either by +falseness or misfortune, come upon her,--no such caution could be of +service to save her. The cup would have been so shattered in its fall +that no further piecing of its parts would be in any way possible. So +much as this she did not exactly say to herself; but she felt it all, +and went bravely forward,--bold in her love, and careful to hide it +from none who chanced to see it. + +They had gone through the ceremony with the cake and teacups, and had +decided that, at any rate, the first dance or two should be held upon +the lawn when the last of the guests arrived. + +"Oh, Adolphus, I am so glad he has come," said Lily. "Do try to like +him." Of Dr. Crofts, who was the new comer, she had sometimes spoken +to her lover, but she had never coupled her sister's name with that +of the doctor, even in speaking to him. Nevertheless, Crosbie had in +some way conceived the idea that this Crofts either had been, or was, +or was to be, in love with Bell; and as he was prepared to advocate +his friend Dale's claims in that quarter, he was not particularly +anxious to welcome the doctor as a thoroughly intimate friend of the +family. He knew nothing as yet of Dale's offer, or of Bell's refusal, +but he was prepared for war, if war should be necessary. Of the +squire, at the present moment, he was not very fond; but if his +destiny intended to give him a wife out of this family, he should +prefer the owner of Allington and nephew of Lord De Guest as a +brother-in-law to a village doctor,--as he took upon himself, in his +pride, to call Dr. Crofts. + +"It is very unfortunate," said he, "but I never do like Paragons." + +"But you must like this Paragon. Not that he is a Paragon at all, for +he smokes and hunts, and does all manner of wicked things." And then +she went forward to welcome her friend. + +Dr. Crofts was a slight, spare man, about five feet nine in height, +with very bright dark eyes, a broad forehead, with dark hair that +almost curled, but which did not come so forward over his brow as it +should have done for purposes of beauty,--with a thin well-cut nose, +and a mouth that would have been perfect had the lips been a little +fuller. The lower part of his face, when seen alone, had in it +somewhat of sternness, which, however, was redeemed by the brightness +of his eyes. And yet an artist would have declared that the lower +features of his face were by far the more handsome. + +Lily went across to him and greeted him heartily, declaring how glad +she was to have him there. "And I must introduce you to Mr. Crosbie," +she said, as though she was determined to carry her point. The two +men shook hands with each other, coldly, without saying a word, as +young men are apt to do when they are brought together in that way. +Then they separated at once, somewhat to the disappointment of Lily. +Crosbie stood off by himself, both his eyes turned up towards the +ceiling, and looking as though he meant to give himself airs; while +Crofts got himself quickly up to the fireplace, making civil little +speeches to Mrs. Dale, Mrs. Boyce, and Mrs. Hearn. And then at last +he made his way round to Bell. + +"I am so glad," he said, "to congratulate you on your sister's +engagement." + +"Yes," said Bell; "we knew that you would be glad to hear of her +happiness." + +"Indeed, I am glad; and thoroughly hope that she may be happy. You +all like him, do you not?" + +"We like him very much." + +"And I am told that he is well off. He is a very fortunate man,--very +fortunate,--very fortunate." + +"Of course we think so," said Bell. "Not, however, because he is +rich." + +"No; not because he is rich. But because, being worthy of such +happiness, his circumstances should enable him to marry, and to enjoy +it." + +"Yes, exactly," said Bell. "That is just it." Then she sat down, and +in sitting down put an end to the conversation. "That is just it," +she had said. But as soon as the words were spoken she declared to +herself that it was not so, and that Crofts was wrong. "We love him," +she said to herself, "not because he is rich enough to marry without +anxious thought, but because he dares to marry although he is not +rich." And then she told herself that she was angry with the doctor. + +After that Dr. Crofts got off towards the door, and stood there by +himself, leaning against the wall, with the thumbs of both his hands +stuck into the armholes of his waistcoat. People said that he was a +shy man. I suppose he was shy, and yet he was a man that was by no +means afraid of doing anything that he had to do. He could speak +before a multitude without being abashed, whether it was a multitude +of men or of women. He could be very fixed too in his own opinion, +and eager, if not violent, in the prosecution of his purpose. But he +could not stand and say little words, when he had in truth nothing +to say. He could not keep his ground when he felt that he was not +using the ground upon which he stood. He had not learned the art of +assuming himself to be of importance in whatever place he might find +himself. It was this art which Crosbie had learned, and by this art +that he had flourished. So Crofts retired and leaned against the wall +near the door; and Crosbie came forward and shone like an Apollo +among all the guests. "How is it that he does it?" said John Eames to +himself, envying the perfect happiness of the London man of fashion. + +At last Lily got the dancers out upon the lawn, and then they managed +to go through one quadrille. But it was found that it did not answer. +The music of the single fiddle which Crosbie had hired from Guestwick +was not sufficient for the purpose; and then the grass, though it was +perfect for purposes of croquet, was not pleasant to the feet for +dancing. + +"This is very nice," said Bernard to his cousin. "I don't know +anything that could be nicer; but perhaps--" + +"I know what you mean," said Lily. "But I shall stay here. There's no +touch of romance about any of you. Look at the moon there at the back +of the steeple. I don't mean to go in all night." Then she walked off +by one of the paths, and her lover went after her. + +"Don't you like the moon?" she said, as she took his arm, to which +she was now so accustomed that she hardly thought of it as she took +it. + +"Like the moon?--well; I fancy I like the sun better. I don't quite +believe in moonlight. I think it does best to talk about when one +wants to be sentimental." + +"Ah; that is just what I fear. That is what I say to Bell when I tell +her that her romance will fade as the roses do. And then I shall have +to learn that prose is more serviceable than poetry, and that the +mind is better than the heart, and--and that money is better than +love. It's all coming, I know; and yet I do like the moonlight." + +"And the poetry,--and the love?" + +"Yes. The poetry much, and the love more. To be loved by you is +sweeter even than any of my dreams,--is better than all the poetry +I have read." + +"Dearest Lily," and his unchecked arm stole round her waist. + +"It is the meaning of the moonlight, and the essence of the poetry," +continued the impassioned girl. "I did not know then why I liked such +things, but now I know. It was because I longed to be loved." + +"And to love." + +"Oh, yes. I would be nothing without that. But that, you know, is +your delight,--or should be. The other is mine. And yet it is a +delight to love you; to know that I may love you." + +"You mean that this is the realization of your romance." + +"Yes; but it must not be the end of it, Adolphus. You must like the +soft twilight, and the long evenings when we shall be alone; and you +must read to me the books I love, and you must not teach me to think +that the world is hard, and dry, and cruel,--not yet. I tell Bell so +very often; but you must not say so to me." + +"It shall not be dry and cruel, if I can prevent it." + +"You understand what I mean, dearest. I will not think it dry and +cruel, even though sorrow should come upon us, if you-- I think you +know what I mean." + +"If I am good to you." + +"I am not afraid of that;--I am not the least afraid of that. You do +not think that I could ever distrust you? But you must not be ashamed +to look at the moonlight, and to read poetry, and to--" + +"To talk nonsense, you mean." + +But as he said it, he pressed her closer to his side, and his tone +was pleasant to her. + +"I suppose I'm talking nonsense now?" she said, pouting. "You liked +me better when I was talking about the pigs; didn't you?" + +"No; I like you best now." + +"And why didn't you like me then? Did I say anything to offend you?" + +"I like you best now, because--" + +They were standing in the narrow pathway of the gate leading from +the bridge into the gardens of the Great House, and the shadow of +the thick-spreading laurels was around them. But the moonlight still +pierced brightly through the little avenue, and she, as she looked up +to him, could see the form of his face and the loving softness of his +eye. + +"Because--," said he; and then he stooped over her and pressed her +closely, while she put up her lips to his, standing on tip-toe that +she might reach to his face. + +"Oh, my love!" she said. "My love! my love!" + +As Crosbie walked back to the Great House that night, he made a firm +resolution that no consideration of worldly welfare should ever +induce him to break his engagement with Lily Dale. He went somewhat +further also, and determined that he would not put off the marriage +for more than six or eight months, or, at the most, ten, if he could +possibly get his affairs arranged in that time. To be sure, he must +give up everything,--all the aspirations and ambition of his life; +but then, as he declared to himself somewhat mournfully, he was +prepared to do that. Such were his resolutions, and, as he thought of +them in bed, he came to the conclusion that few men were less selfish +than he was. + +"But what will they say to us for staying away?" said Lily, +recovering herself. "And I ought to be making the people dance, you +know. Come along, and do make yourself nice. Do waltz with Mary +Eames;--pray, do. If you don't, I won't speak to you all night!" + +Acting under which threat, Crosbie did, on his return, solicit the +honour of that young lady's hand, thereby elating her into a seventh +heaven of happiness. What could the world afford better than a waltz +with such a partner as Adolphus Crosbie? And poor Mary Eames could +waltz well; though she could not talk much as she danced, and would +pant a good deal when she stopped. She put too much of her energy +into the motion, and was too anxious to do the mechanical part of +the work in a manner that should be satisfactory to her partner. +"Oh! thank you;--it's very nice. I shall be able to go on--again +directly." Her conversation with Crosbie did not get much beyond +that, and yet she felt that she had never done better than on this +occasion. + +Though there were, at most, not above five couples of dancers, and +though they who did not dance, such as the squire and Mr. Boyce, and +a curate from a neighbouring parish, had, in fact, nothing to amuse +them, the affair was kept on very merrily for a considerable number +of hours. Exactly at twelve o'clock there was a little supper, which, +no doubt, served to relieve Mrs. Hearn's ennui, and at which Mrs. +Boyce also seemed to enjoy herself. As to the Mrs. Boyces on such +occasions, I profess that I feel no pity. They are generally happy in +their children's happiness, or if not, they ought to be. At any rate, +they are simply performing a manifest duty, which duty, in their +time, was performed on their behalf. But on what account do the Mrs. +Hearns betake themselves to such gatherings? Why did that ancient +lady sit there hour after hour yawning, longing for her bed, looking +every ten minutes at her watch, while her old bones were stiff and +sore, and her old ears pained with the noise? It could hardly have +been simply for the sake of the supper. After the supper, however, +her maid took her across to her cottage, and Mrs. Boyce also then +stole away home, and the squire went off with some little parade, +suggesting to the young men that they should make no noise in the +house as they returned. But the poor curate remained, talking a dull +word every now and then to Mrs. Dale, and looking on with tantalized +eyes at the joys which the world had prepared for others than him. I +must say that I think that public opinion and the bishops together +are too hard upon curates in this particular. + +In the latter part of the night's delight, when time and practice had +made them all happy together, John Eames stood up for the first time +to dance with Lily. She had done all she could, short of asking him, +to induce him to do her this favour; for she felt that it would be a +favour. How great had been the desire on his part to ask her, and, at +the same time, how great the repugnance, Lily, perhaps, did not quite +understand. And yet she understood much of it. She knew that he was +not angry with her. She knew that he was suffering from the injured +pride of futile love, almost as much as from the futile love itself. +She wished to put him at his ease in this; but she did not quite give +him credit for the full sincerity, and the upright, uncontrolled +heartiness of his feelings. + +At length he did come up to her, and though, in truth, she was +engaged, she at once accepted his offer. Then she tripped across the +room. "Adolphus," she said, "I can't dance with you, though I said +I would. John Eames has asked me, and I haven't stood up with him +before. You understand, and you'll be a good boy, won't you?" + +Crosbie, not being in the least jealous, was a good boy, and sat +himself down to rest, hidden behind a door. + +For the first few minutes the conversation between Eames and Lily +was of a very matter-of-fact kind. She repeated her wish that she +might see him in London, and he said that of course he should come +and call. Then there was silence for a little while, and they went +through their figure dancing. + +"I don't at all know yet when we are to be married," said Lily, as +soon as they were again standing together. + +"No; I dare say not," said Eames. + +"But not this year, I suppose. Indeed, I should say, of course not." + +"In the spring, perhaps," suggested Eames. He had an unconscious +desire that it might be postponed to some Greek kalends, and yet he +did not wish to injure Lily. + +"The reason I mention it is this, that we should be so very glad if +you could be here. We all love you so much, and I should so like to +have you here on that day." + +Why is it that girls so constantly do this,--so frequently ask men +who have loved them to be present at their marriages with other +men? There is no triumph in it. It is done in sheer kindness and +affection. They intend to offer something which shall soften and +not aggravate the sorrow that they have caused. "You can't marry me +yourself," the lady seems to say. "But the next greatest blessing +which I can offer you shall be yours,--you shall see me married to +somebody else." I fully appreciate the intention, but in honest +truth, I doubt the eligibility of the proffered entertainment. + +On the present occasion John Eames seemed to be of this opinion, for +he did not at once accept the invitation. + +"Will you not oblige me so far as that?" said she softly. + +"I would do anything to oblige you," said he gruffly; "almost +anything." + +"But not that?" + +"No; not that. I could not do that." Then he went off upon his +figure, and when they were next both standing together, they remained +silent till their turn for dancing had again come. Why was it, that +after that night Lily thought more of John Eames than ever she had +thought before;--felt for him, I mean, a higher respect, as for a man +who had a will of his own? + +And in that quadrille Crofts and Bell had been dancing together, and +they also had been talking of Lily's marriage. "A man may undergo +what he likes for himself," he had said, "but he has no right to make +a woman undergo poverty." + +"Perhaps not," said Bell. + +"That which is no suffering for a man,--which no man should think of +for himself,--will make a hell on earth for a woman." + +"I suppose it would," said Bell, answering him without a sign of +feeling in her face or voice. But she took in every word that he +spoke, and disputed their truth inwardly with all the strength of +her heart and mind, and with the very vehemence of her soul. "As if +a woman cannot bear more than a man!" she said to herself, as she +walked the length of the room alone, when she had got herself free +from the doctor's arm. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +MRS. LUPEX AND AMELIA ROPER. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +I should simply mislead a confiding reader if I were to tell him that +Mrs. Lupex was an amiable woman. Perhaps the fact that she was not +amiable is the one great fault that should be laid to her charge; +but that fault had spread itself so widely, and had cropped forth in +so many different places of her life, like a strong rank plant that +will show itself all over a garden, that it may almost be said that +it made her odious in every branch of life, and detestable alike +to those who knew her little and to those who knew her much. If a +searcher could have got at the inside spirit of the woman, that +searcher would have found that she wished to go right,--that she did +make, or at any rate promise to herself that she would make, certain +struggles to attain decency and propriety. But it was so natural to +her to torment those whose misfortune brought them near to her, and +especially that wretched man who in an evil day had taken her to his +bosom as his wife, that decency fled from her, and propriety would +not live in her quarters. + +Mrs. Lupex was, as I have already described her, a woman not without +some feminine attraction in the eyes of those who like morning +negligence and evening finery, and do not object to a long nose +somewhat on one side. She was clever in her way, and could say +smart things. She could flatter also, though her very flattery had +always in it something that was disagreeable. And she must have had +some power of will, as otherwise her husband would have escaped +from her before the days of which I am writing. Otherwise, also, +she could hardly have obtained her footing and kept it in Mrs. +Roper's drawing-room. For though the hundred pounds a year, either +paid, or promised to be paid, was matter with Mrs. Roper of vast +consideration, nevertheless the first three months of Mrs. Lupex's +sojourn in Burton Crescent were not over before the landlady of that +house was most anxiously desirous of getting herself quit of her +married boarders. + +I shall perhaps best describe a little incident that had occurred +in Burton Crescent during the absence of our friend Eames, and the +manner in which things were going on in that locality, by giving at +length two letters which Johnny received by post at Guestwick on the +morning after Mrs. Dale's party. One was from his friend Cradell, +and the other from the devoted Amelia. In this instance I will give +that from the gentleman first, presuming that I shall best consult +my reader's wishes by keeping the greater delicacy till the last. + + + Income-tax Office, September, 186--. + + MY DEAR JOHNNY,--We have had a terrible affair in the + Crescent; and I really hardly know how to tell you; and + yet I must do it, for I want your advice. You know the + sort of standing that I was on with Mrs. Lupex, and + perhaps you remember what we were saying on the platform + at the station. I have, no doubt, been fond of her + society, as I might be of that of any other friend. I + knew, of course, that she was a fine woman; and if her + husband chose to be jealous, I couldn't help that. But I + never intended anything wrong; and, if it was necessary, + couldn't I call you as a witness to prove it? I never + spoke a word to her out of Mrs. Roper's drawing-room; and + Miss Spruce, or Mrs. Roper, or somebody has always been + there. You know he drinks horribly sometimes, but I do + not think he ever gets downright drunk. Well, he came + home last night about nine o'clock after one of these + bouts. From what Jemima says [Jemima was Mrs. Roper's + parlour-maid], I believe he had been at it down at the + theatre for three days. We hadn't seen him since Tuesday. + He went straight into the parlour and sent up Jemima to + me, to say that he wanted to see me. Mrs. Lupex was in + the room and heard the girl summon me, and, jumping up, + she declared that if there was going to be blood shed she + would leave the house. There was nobody else in the room + but Miss Spruce, and she didn't say a word, but took her + candle and went upstairs. You must own it looked very + uncomfortable. What was I to do with a drunken man down in + the parlour? However, she seemed to think I ought to go. + "If he comes up here," said she, "I shall be the victim. + You little know of what that man is capable when his wrath + has been inflamed by wine!" Now, I think you are aware + that I am not likely to be very much afraid of any man; + but why was I to be got into a row in such a way as this? + I hadn't done anything. And then, if there was to be a + quarrel, and anything was to come of it, as she seemed to + expect,--like bloodshed, I mean, or a fight, or if he were + to knock me on the head with the poker, where should I be + at my office? A man in a public office, as you and I are, + can't quarrel like anybody else. It was this that I felt + so much at the moment. "Go down to him," said she, "unless + you wish to see me murdered at your feet." Fisher says, + that if what I say is true, they must have arranged it all + between them. I don't think that; for I do believe that + she really is fond of me. And then everybody knows that + they never do agree about anything. But she certainly did + implore me to go down to him. Well, I went down; and, as I + got to the bottom of the stairs, where I found Jemima, I + heard him walking up and down the parlour. "Take care of + yourself, Mr. Cradell," said the girl; and I could see by + her face that she was in a terrible fright. + + At that moment I happened to see my hat on the hall table, + and it occurred to me that I ought to put myself into the + hands of a friend. Of course, I was not afraid of that + man in the dining-room; but should I have been justified + in engaging in a struggle, perhaps for dear life, in Mrs. + Roper's house? I was bound to think of her interests. + So I took up my hat, and deliberately walked out of the + front door. "Tell him," said I to Jemima, "that I'm not at + home." And so I went away direct to Fisher's, meaning to + send him back to Lupex as my friend; but Fisher was at his + chess-club. + + As I thought there was no time to be lost on such an + occasion as this, I went down to the club and called + him out. You know what a cool fellow Fisher is. I don't + suppose anything would ever excite him. When I told him + the story, he said that he would sleep upon it; and I had + to walk up and down before the club while he finished + his game. Fisher seemed to think that I might go back to + Burton Crescent; but, of course, I knew that that would + be out of the question. So it ended in my going home and + sleeping on his sofa, and sending for some of my things in + the morning. I wanted him to get up and see Lupex before + going to the office this morning. But he said it would be + better to put it off, and so he will call upon him at the + theatre immediately after office hours. + + I want you to write to me at once saying what you know + about the matter. I ask you, as I don't want to lug in any + of the other people at Roper's. It is very uncomfortable, + as I can't exactly leave her at once because of last + quarter's money, otherwise I should cut and run; for the + house is not the sort of place either for you or me. You + may take my word for that, Master Johnny. And I could tell + you something, too, about A. R., only I don't want to make + mischief. But do you write immediately. And now I think of + it, you had better write to Fisher, so that he can show + your letter to Lupex,--just saying, that to the best of + your belief there had never been anything between her and + me but mere friendship; and that, of course, you, as my + friend, must have known everything. Whether I shall go + back to Roper's to-night will depend on what Fisher says + after the interview. + + Good-by, old fellow! I hope you are enjoying yourself, and + that L. D. is quite well.--Your sincere friend, + + JOSEPH CRADELL. + + +John Eames read this letter over twice before he opened that from +Amelia. He had never yet received a letter from Miss Roper; and felt +very little of that ardour for its perusal which young men generally +experience on the receipt of a first letter from a young lady. The +memory of Amelia was at the present moment distasteful to him; and he +would have thrown the letter unopened into the fire, had he not felt +it might be dangerous to do so. As regarded his friend Cradell, he +could not but feel ashamed of him,--ashamed of him, not for running +away from Mr. Lupex, but for excusing his escape on false pretences. + +And then, at last, he opened the letter from Amelia. "Dearest John," +it began; and as he read the words, he crumpled the paper up between +his fingers. It was written in a fair female hand, with sharp points +instead of curves to the letters, but still very legible, and looking +as though there were a decided purport in every word of it. + + + DEAREST JOHN,--It feels so strange to me to write to you + in such language as this. And yet you are dearest, and + have I not a right to call you so? And are you not my own, + and am not I yours? + + +Again he crunched the paper up in his hand, and, as he did so, he +muttered words which I need not repeat at length. But still he went +on with his letter. + + + I know that we understand each other perfectly, and when + that is the case, heart should be allowed to speak openly + to heart. Those are my feelings, and I believe that you + will find them reciprocal in your own bosom. Is it not + sweet to be loved? I find it so. And, dearest John, let me + assure you, with open candour, that there is no room for + jealousy in this breast with regard to you. I have too + much confidence for that, I can assure you, both in your + honour and in my own--I would say charms, only you would + call me vain. You must not suppose that I meant what I + said about L. D. Of course, you will be glad to see the + friends of your childhood; and it would be far from your + Amelia's heart to begrudge you such delightful pleasure. + Your friends will, I hope, some day be my friends. + [Another crunch.] And if there be any one among them, any + real L. D. whom you have specially liked, I will receive + her to my heart, specially also. + + +This assurance on the part of his Amelia was too much for him, +and he threw the letter from him, thinking whence he might get +relief--whether from suicide or from the colonies; but presently he +took it up again, and drained the bitter cup to the bottom. + + + And if I seemed petulant to you before you went away, you + must forgive your own Amelia. I had nothing before me but + misery for the month of your absence. There is no one here + congenial to my feelings,--of course not. And you would + not wish me to be happy in your absence,--would you? I can + assure you, let your wishes be what they may, I never can + be happy again unless you are with me. Write to me one + little line, and tell me that you are grateful to me for + my devotion. + + And now, I must tell you that we have had a sad affair in + the house; and I do not think that your friend Mr. Cradell + has behaved at all well. You remember how he has been + always going on with Mrs. Lupex. Mother was quite unhappy + about it, though she didn't like to say anything. Of + course, when a lady's name is concerned, it is particular. + But Lupex has become dreadful jealous during the last + week; and we all knew that something was coming. She is + an artful woman, but I don't think she meant anything + bad--only to drive her husband to desperation. He came + here yesterday in one of his tantrums, and wanted to see + Cradell; but he got frightened, and took his hat and went + off. Now, that wasn't quite right. If he was innocent, + why didn't he stand his ground and explain the mistake? + As mother says, it gives the house such a name. Lupex + swore last night that he'd be off to the Income-tax + Office this morning, and have Cradell out before all the + commissioners, and clerks, and everybody. If he does + that, it will get into the papers, and all London will be + full of it. She would like it, I know; for all she cares + for is to be talked about; but only think what it will + be for mother's house. I wish you were here; for your + high prudence and courage would set everything right at + once,--at least, I think so. + + I shall count the minutes till I get an answer to this, + and shall envy the postman who will have your letter + before it will reach me. Do write at once. If I do not + hear by Monday morning I shall think that something is the + matter. Even though you are among your dear old friends, + surely you can find a moment to write to your own Amelia. + + Mother is very unhappy about this affair of the Lupexes. + She says that if you were here to advise her she should + not mind it so much. It is very hard upon her, for she + does strive to make the house respectable and comfortable + for everybody. I would send my duty and love to your dear + mamma, if I only knew her, as I hope I shall do one day, + and to your sister, and to L. D. also, if you like to tell + her how we are situated together. So, now, no more from + your + + Always affectionate sweetheart, + + AMELIA ROPER. + + +Poor Eames did not feel the least gratified by any part of this fond +letter; but the last paragraph of it was the worst. Was it to be +endured by him that this woman should send her love to his mother +and to his sister, and even to Lily Dale! He felt that there was a +pollution in the very mention of Lily's name by such an one as Amelia +Roper. And yet Amelia Roper was, as she had assured him,--his own. +Much as he disliked her at the present moment, he did believe that he +was--her own. He did feel that she had obtained a certain property +in him, and that his destiny in life would tie him to her. He had +said very few words of love to her at any time--very few, at least, +that were themselves of any moment; but among those few there had +undoubtedly been one or two in which he had told her that he loved +her. And he had written to her that fatal note! Upon the whole, would +it not be as well for him to go out to the great reservoir behind +Guestwick, by which the Hamersham Canal was fed with its waters, and +put an end to his miserable existence? + +On that same day he did write a letter to Fisher, and he wrote also +to Cradell. As to those letters he felt no difficulty. To Fisher he +declared his belief that Cradell was innocent as he was himself as +regarded Mrs. Lupex. "I don't think he is the sort of man to make +up to a married woman," he said, somewhat to Cradell's displeasure, +when the letter reached the Income-tax Office; for that gentleman +was not averse to the reputation for success in love which the +little adventure was, as he thought, calculated to give him among +his brother clerks. At the first bursting of the shell, when that +desperately jealous man was raging in the parlour, incensed by the +fumes both of wine and love, Cradell had felt that the affair was +disagreeably painful. But on the morning of the third day--for he had +passed two nights on his friend Fisher's sofa--he had begun to be +somewhat proud of it, and did not dislike to hear Mrs. Lupex's name +in the mouths of the other clerks. When, therefore, Fisher read +to him the letter from Guestwick, he hardly was pleased with his +friend's tone. "Ha, ha, ha," said he, laughing. "That's just what I +wanted him to say. Make up to a married woman, indeed. No; I'm the +last man in London to do that sort of thing." + +"Upon my word, Caudle, I think you are," said Fisher; "the very last +man." + +And then poor Cradell was not happy. On that afternoon he boldly went +to Burton Crescent, and ate his dinner there. Neither Mr. nor Mrs. +Lupex were to be seen, nor were their names mentioned to him by Mrs. +Roper. In the course of the evening he did pluck up courage to ask +Miss Spruce where they were; but that ancient lady merely shook her +head solemnly, and declared that she knew nothing about such goings +on--no, not she. + +But what was John Eames to do as to that letter from Amelia Roper? He +felt that any answer to it would be very dangerous, and yet that he +could not safely leave it unanswered. He walked off by himself across +Guestwick Common, and through the woods of Guestwick Manor, up by the +big avenue of elms in Lord De Guest's park, trying to resolve how he +might rescue himself from this scrape. Here, over the same ground, +he had wandered scores of times in his earlier years, when he knew +nothing beyond the innocency of his country home, thinking of Lily +Dale, and swearing to himself that she should be his wife. Here he +had strung together his rhymes, and fed his ambition with high hopes, +building gorgeous castles in the air, in all of which Lilian reigned +as a queen; and though in those days he had known himself to be +awkward, poor, uncared for by any in the world except his mother and +his sister, yet he had been happy in his hopes--happy in his hopes, +even though he had never taught himself really to believe that they +would be realized. But now there was nothing in his hopes or thoughts +to make him happy. Everything was black, and wretched, and ruinous. +What would it matter, after all, even if he should marry Amelia +Roper, seeing that Lily was to be given to another? But then the idea +of Amelia as he had seen her that night through the chink in the door +came upon his memory, and he confessed to himself that life with such +a wife as that would be a living death. + +At one moment he thought that he would tell his mother everything, +and leave her to write an answer to Amelia's letter. Should the worst +come to the worst, the Ropers could not absolutely destroy him. That +they could bring an action against him, and have him locked up for a +term of years, and dismissed from his office, and exposed in all the +newspapers, he seemed to know. That might all, however, be endured, +if only the gauntlet could be thrown down for him by some one else. +The one thing which he felt that he could not do was, to write to +a girl whom he had professed to love, and tell her that he did not +love her. He knew that he could not himself form such words upon the +paper; nor, as he was well aware, could he himself find the courage +to tell her to her face that he had changed his mind. He knew that +he must become the victim of his Amelia, unless he could find some +friendly knight to do battle in his favour; and then again he thought +of his mother. + +But when he returned home he was as far as ever from any resolve to +tell her how he was situated. I may say that his walk had done him no +good, and that he had not made up his mind to anything. He had been +building those pernicious castles in the air during more than half +the time; not castles in the building of which he could make himself +happy, as he had done in the old days, but black castles, with cruel +dungeons, into which hardly a ray of light could find its way. In all +these edifices his imagination pictured to him Lily as the wife of +Mr. Crosbie. He accepted that as a fact, and then went to work in his +misery, making her as wretched as himself, through the misconduct +and harshness of her husband. He tried to think, and to resolve what +he would do; but there is no task so hard as that of thinking, when +the mind has an objection to the matter brought before it. The mind, +under such circumstances, is like a horse that is brought to the +water, but refuses to drink. So Johnny returned to his home, still +doubting whether or no he would answer Amelia's letter. And if he did +not answer it, how would he conduct himself on his return to Burton +Crescent? + +I need hardly say that Miss Roper, in writing her letter, had been +aware of all this, and that Johnny's position had been carefully +prepared for him by--his affectionate sweetheart. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +SOCIAL LIFE. + + +Mr. and Mrs. Lupex had eaten a sweetbread together in much connubial +bliss on that day which had seen Cradell returning to Mrs. Roper's +hospitable board. They had together eaten a sweetbread, with +some other delicacies of the season, in the neighbourhood of the +theatre, and had washed down all unkindness with bitter beer and +brandy-and-water. But of this reconciliation Cradell had not heard; +and when he saw them come together into the drawing-room, a few +minutes after the question he had addressed to Miss Spruce, he was +certainly surprised. + +Lupex was not an ill-natured man, nor one naturally savage by +disposition. He was a man fond of sweetbread and little dinners, and +one to whom hot brandy-and-water was too dear. Had the wife of his +bosom been a good helpmate to him, he might have gone through the +world, if not respectably, at any rate without open disgrace. But +she was a woman who left a man no solace except that to be found in +brandy-and-water. For eight years they had been man and wife; and +sometimes--I grieve to say it--he had been driven almost to hope +that she would commit a married woman's last sin, and leave him. In +his misery, any mode of escape would have been welcome to him. Had +his energy been sufficient he would have taken his scene-painting +capabilities off to Australia,--or to the farthest shifting of +scenes known on the world's stage. But he was an easy, listless, +self-indulgent man; and at any moment, let his misery be as keen +as might be, a little dinner, a few soft words, and a glass of +brandy-and-water would bring him round. The second glass would make +him the fondest husband living; but the third would restore to him +the memory of all his wrongs, and give him courage against his wife +or all the world,--even to the detriment of the furniture around him, +should a stray poker chance to meet his hand. All these peculiarities +of his character were not, however, known to Cradell; and when our +friend saw him enter the drawing-room with his wife on his arm, he +was astonished. + +"Mr. Cradell, your hand," said Lupex, who had advanced as far as the +second glass of brandy-and-water, but had not been allowed to go +beyond it. "There has been a misunderstanding between us; let it be +forgotten." + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Mr. Cradell, your hand," said Lupex.] + + +"Mr. Cradell, if I know him," said the lady, "is too much the +gentleman to bear any anger when a gentleman has offered him his +hand." + +"Oh, I'm sure," said Cradell, "I'm quite--indeed, I'm delighted to +find there's nothing wrong after all." And then he shook hands with +both of them; whereupon Miss Spruce got up, curtseyed low, and also +shook hands with the husband and wife. + +"You're not a married man, Mr. Cradell," said Lupex, "and, therefore, +you cannot understand the workings of a husband's heart. There have +been moments when my regard for that woman has been too much for me." + +"Now, Lupex, don't," said she, playfully tapping him with an old +parasol which she still held. + +"And I do not hesitate to say that my regard for her was too much for +me on that night when I sent for you to the dining-room." + +"I'm glad it's all put right now," said Cradell. + +"Very glad, indeed," said Miss Spruce. + +"And, therefore, we need not say any more about it," said Mrs. Lupex. + +"One word," said Lupex, waving his hand. "Mr. Cradell, I greatly +rejoice that you did not obey my summons on that night. Had you done +so,--I confess it now,--had you done so, blood would have been the +consequence. I was mistaken. I acknowledge my mistake;--but blood +would have been the consequence." + +"Dear, dear, dear," said Miss Spruce. + +"Miss Spruce," continued Lupex, "there are moments when the heart +becomes too strong for a man." + +"I dare say," said Miss Spruce. + +"Now, Lupex, that will do," said his wife. + +"Yes; that will do. But I think it right to tell Mr. Cradell that I +am glad he did not come to me. Your friend, Mr. Cradell, did me the +honour of calling on me at the theatre yesterday, at half-past four; +but I was in the slings then, and could not very well come down +to him. I shall be happy to see you both any day at five, and to +bury all unkindness with a chop and glass at the Pot and Poker, in +Bow-street." + +"I'm sure you're very kind," said Cradell. + +"And Mrs. Lupex will join us. There's a delightful little snuggery +upstairs at the Pot and Poker; and if Miss Spruce will condescend +to--" + +"Oh, I'm an old woman, sir." + +"No--no--no," said Lupex, "I deny that. Come, Cradell, what do you +say?--just a snug little dinner for four, you know." + +It was, no doubt, pleasant to see Mr. Lupex in his present +mood,--much pleasanter than in that other mood of which blood +would have been the consequence; but pleasant as he now was, it +was, nevertheless, apparent that he was not quite sober. Cradell, +therefore, did not settle the day for the little dinner; but merely +remarked that he should be very happy at some future day. + +"And now, Lupex, suppose you get off to bed," said his wife. "You've +had a very trying day, you know." + +"And you, ducky?" + +"I shall come presently. Now don't be making a fool of yourself, but +get yourself off. Come--" and she stood close up against the open +door, waiting for him to pass. + +"I rather think I shall remain where I am, and have a glass of +something hot," said he. + +"Lupex, do you want to aggravate me again?" said the lady, and +she looked at him with a glance of her eye which he thoroughly +understood. He was not in a humour for fighting, nor was he at +present desirous of blood; so he resolved to go. But as he went he +prepared himself for new battles. "I shall do something desperate, +I am sure; I know I shall," he said, as he pulled off his boots. + +"Oh, Mr. Cradell," said Mrs. Lupex as soon as she had closed the +door behind her retreating husband, "how am I ever to look you in +the face again after the events of these last memorable days?" And +then she seated herself on the sofa, and hid her face in a cambric +handkerchief. + +"As for that," said Cradell, "what does it signify,--among friends +like us, you know?" + +"But that it should be known at your office,--as of course it is, +because of the gentleman that went down to him at the theatre!--I +don't think I shall ever survive it." + +"You see I was obliged to send somebody, Mrs. Lupex." + +"I'm not finding fault, Mr. Cradell. I know very well that in my +melancholy position I have no right to find fault, and I don't +pretend to understand gentlemen's feelings towards each other. But +to have had my name mentioned up with yours in that way is-- Oh! Mr. +Cradell, I don't know how I'm ever to look you in the face again." +And again she buried hers in her pocket-handkerchief. + +"Handsome is as handsome does," said Miss Spruce; and there was that +in her tone of voice which seemed to convey much hidden meaning. + +"Exactly so, Miss Spruce," said Mrs. Lupex; "and that's my only +comfort at the present moment. Mr. Cradell is a gentleman who would +scorn to take advantage--I'm quite sure of that." And then she did +contrive to look at him over the edge of the hand which held the +handkerchief. + +"That I wouldn't, I'm sure," said Cradell. "That is to say--" And +then he paused. He did not wish to get into a scrape about Mrs. +Lupex. He was by no means anxious to encounter her husband in one of +his fits of jealousy. But he did like the idea of being talked of as +the admirer of a married woman, and he did like the brightness of +the lady's eyes. When the unfortunate moth in his semi-blindness +whisks himself and his wings within the flame of the candle, and +finds himself mutilated and tortured, he even then will not take +the lesson, but returns again and again till he is destroyed. Such +a moth was poor Cradell. There was no warmth to be got by him +from that flame. There was no beauty in the light,--not even the +false brilliance of unhallowed love. Injury might come to him,--a +pernicious clipping of the wings, which might destroy all power of +future flight; injury, and not improbably destruction, if he should +persevere. But one may say that no single hour of happiness could +accrue to him from his intimacy with Mrs. Lupex. He felt for her no +love. He was afraid of her, and, in many respects, disliked her. +But to him, in his moth-like weakness, ignorance, and blindness, it +seemed to be a great thing that he should be allowed to fly near the +candle. Oh! my friends, if you will but think of it, how many of you +have been moths, and are now going about ungracefully with wings more +or less burnt off, and with bodies sadly scorched! + +But before Mr. Cradell could make up his mind whether or no he would +take advantage of the present opportunity for another dip into +the flame of the candle,--in regard to which proceeding, however, +he could not but feel that the presence of Miss Spruce was +objectionable,--the door of the room was opened, and Amelia Roper +joined the party. + +"Oh, indeed; Mrs. Lupex," she said. "And Mr. Cradell!" + +"And Miss Spruce, my dear," said Mrs. Lupex, pointing to the ancient +lady. + +"I'm only an old woman," said Miss Spruce. + +"Oh, yes; I see Miss Spruce," said Amelia. "I was not hinting at +anything, I can assure you." + +"I should think not, my dear," said Mrs. Lupex. + +"Only I didn't know that you two were quite-- That is, when last I +heard about it, I fancied-- But if the quarrel's made up, there's +nobody more rejoiced than I am." + +"The quarrel is made up," said Cradell. + +"If Mr. Lupex is satisfied, I'm sure I am," said Amelia. + +"Mr. Lupex is satisfied," said Mrs. Lupex; "and let me tell you, my +dear, seeing that you are expecting to get married yourself--" + +"Mrs. Lupex, I'm not expecting to get married,--not particularly, by +any means." + +"Oh, I thought you were. And let me tell you, that when you've got +a husband of your own, you won't find it so easy to keep everything +straight. That's the worst of these lodgings; if there is any little +thing, everybody knows it. Don't they, Miss Spruce?" + +"Lodgings is so much more comfortable than housekeeping," said Miss +Spruce, who lived rather in fear of her relatives, the Ropers. + +"Everybody knows it; does he?" said Amelia. "Why, if a gentleman will +come home at night tipsy and threaten to murder another gentleman in +the same house; and if a lady--" And then Amelia paused, for she knew +that the line-of-battle ship which she was preparing to encounter had +within her much power of fighting. + +"Well, miss," said Mrs. Lupex, getting on her feet, "and what of the +lady?" + +Now we may say that the battle had begun, and that the two ships were +pledged by the general laws of courage and naval warfare to maintain +the contest till one of them should be absolutely disabled, if not +blown up or sunk. And at this moment it might be difficult for a +bystander to say with which of the combatants rested the better +chance of permanent success. Mrs. Lupex had doubtless on her side +more matured power, a habit of fighting which had given her infinite +skill, a courage which deadened her to the feeling of all wounds +while the heat of the battle should last, and a recklessness which +made her almost indifferent whether she sank or swam. But then Amelia +carried the greater guns, and was able to pour in heavier metal than +her enemy could use; and she, too, swam in her own waters. Should +they absolutely come to grappling and boarding, Amelia would no doubt +have the best of it; but Mrs. Lupex would probably be too crafty to +permit such a proceeding as that. She was, however, ready for the +occasion, and greedy for the fight. + +"And what of the lady?" said she, in a tone of voice that admitted of +no pacific rejoinder. + +"A lady, if she is a lady," said Amelia, "will know how to behave +herself." + +"And you're going to teach me, are you, Miss Roper? I'm sure I'm ever +so much obliged to you. It's Manchester manners, I suppose, that you +prefer?" + +"I prefer honest manners, Mrs. Lupex, and decent manners, and manners +that won't shock a whole house full of people; and I don't care +whether they come from Manchester or London." + +"Milliner's manners, I suppose?" + +"I don't care whether they are milliner's manners or theatrical, Mrs. +Lupex, as long as they're not downright bad manners--as yours are, +Mrs. Lupex. And now you've got it. What are you going on for in +this way with that young man, till you'll drive your husband into a +madhouse with drink and jealousy?" + +"Miss Roper! Miss Roper!" said Cradell; "now really--" + +"Don't mind her, Mr. Cradell," said Mrs. Lupex; "she's not worthy +for you to speak to. And as to that poor fellow Eames, if you've any +friendship for him, you'll let him know what she is. My dear, how's +Mr. Juniper, of Grogram's house, at Salford? I know all about you, +and so shall John Eames, too--poor unfortunate fool of a fellow! +Telling me of drink and jealousy, indeed!" + +"Yes, telling you! And now you've, mentioned Mr. Juniper's name, Mr. +Eames, and Mr. Cradell too, may know the whole of it. There's been +nothing about Mr. Juniper that I'm ashamed of." + +"It would be difficult to make you ashamed of anything, I believe." + +"But let me tell you this, Mrs. Lupex, you're not going to destroy +the respectability of this house by your goings on." + +"It was a bad day for me when I let Lupex bring me into it." + +"Then pay your bill, and walk out of it," said Amelia, waving her +hand towards the door. "I'll undertake to say there shan't be any +notice required. Only you pay mother what you owe, and you're free to +go at once." + +"I shall go just when I please, and not one hour before. Who are you, +you gipsy, to speak to me in this way?" + +"And as for going, go you shall, if we have to call in the police to +make you." + +Amelia, as at this period of the fight she stood fronting her foe +with her arms akimbo, certainly seemed to have the best of the +battle. But the bitterness of Mrs. Lupex's tongue had hardly yet +produced its greatest results. I am inclined to think that the +married lady would have silenced her who was single, had the +fight been allowed to rage,--always presuming that no resort to +grappling-irons took place. But at this moment Mrs. Roper entered the +room, accompanied by her son, and both the combatants for a moment +retreated. + +"Amelia, what's all this?" said Mrs. Roper, trying to assume a look +of agonized amazement. + +"Ask Mrs. Lupex," said Amelia. + +"And Mrs. Lupex will answer," said that lady. "Your daughter has come +in here, and attacked me--in such language--before Mr. Cradell, +too--" + +"Why doesn't she pay what she owes, and leave the house?" said +Amelia. + +"Hold your tongue," said her brother. "What she owes is no affair of +yours." + +"But it's an affair of mine, when I'm insulted by such a creature as +that." + +"Creature!" said Mrs. Lupex. "I'd like to know which is most like +a creature! But I'll tell you, what it is, Amelia Roper--" Here, +however, her eloquence was stopped, for Amelia had disappeared +through the door, having been pushed out of the room by her brother. +Whereupon Mrs. Lupex, having found a sofa convenient for the service, +betook herself to hysterics. There for the moment we will leave her, +hoping that poor Mrs. Roper was not kept late out of her bed. + +"What a deuce of a mess Eames will make of it if he marries that +girl!" Such was Cradell's reflection as he betook himself to his own +room. But of his own part in the night's transactions he was rather +proud than otherwise, feeling that the married lady's regard for him +had been the cause of the battle which had raged. So, likewise, did +Paris derive much gratification from the ten years' siege of Troy. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +LILIAN DALE BECOMES A BUTTERFLY. + + +And now we will go back to Allington. The same morning that brought +to John Eames the two letters which were given in the last chapter +but one, brought to the Great House, among others, the following +epistle for Adolphus Crosbie. It was from a countess, and was written +on pink paper, beautifully creamlaid and scented, ornamented with a +coronet and certain singularly-entwined initials. Altogether, the +letter was very fashionable and attractive, and Adolphus Crosbie was +by no means sorry to receive it. + + + Courcy Castle, September, 186--. + + MY DEAR MR. CROSBIE,--We have heard of you from the + Gazebees, who have come down to us, and who tell us that + you are rusticating at a charming little village, in + which, among other attractions, there are wood nymphs and + water nymphs, to whom much of your time is devoted. As + this is just the thing for your taste, I would not for + worlds disturb you; but if you should ever tear yourself + away from the groves and fountains of Allington, we shall + be delighted to welcome you here, though you will find us + very unromantic after your late Elysium. + + Lady Dumbello is coming to us, who I know is a favourite + of yours. Or is it the other way, and are you a favourite + of hers? I did ask Lady Hartletop, but she cannot get away + from the poor marquis, who is, you know, so very infirm. + The duke isn't at Gatherum at present, but, of course, + I don't mean that that has anything to do with dear Lady + Hartletop's not coming to us. I believe we shall have the + house full, and shall not want for nymphs either, though + I fear they will not be of the wood and water kind. + Margaretta and Alexandrina particularly want you to come, + as they say you are so clever at making a houseful of + people go off well If you can give us a week before you go + back to manage the affairs of the nation, pray do. + + Yours very sincerely, + + ROSINA DE COURCY. + + +The Countess De Courcy was a very old friend of Mr. Crosbie's; that +is to say, as old friends go in the world in which he had been +living. He had known her for the last six or seven years, and had +been in the habit of going to all her London balls, and dancing with +her daughters everywhere, in a most good-natured and affable way. +He had been intimate, from old family relations, with Mr. Mortimer +Gazebee, who, though only an attorney of the more distinguished kind, +had married the countess's eldest daughter, and now sat in Parliament +for the city of Barchester, near to which Courcy Castle was situated. +And, to tell the truth honestly at once, Mr. Crosbie had been on +terms of great friendship with Lady De Courcy's daughters, the Ladies +Margaretta and Alexandrina--perhaps especially so with the latter, +though I would not have my readers suppose by my saying so that +anything more tender than friendship had ever existed between them. + +Crosbie said nothing about the letter on that morning; but during the +day, or, perhaps, as he thought over the matter in bed, he made up +his mind that he would accept Lady De Courcy's invitation. It was not +only that he would be glad to see the Gazebees, or glad to stay in +the same house with that great master in the high art of fashionable +life, Lady Dumbello, or glad to renew his friendship with the Ladies +Margaretta and Alexandrina. Had he felt that the circumstances of his +engagement with Lily made it expedient for him to stay with her till +the end of his holidays, he could have thrown over the De Courcys +without a struggle. But he told himself that it would be well for him +now to tear himself away from Lily; or perhaps he said that it would +be well for Lily that he should be torn away. He must not teach her +to think that they were to live only in the sunlight of each other's +eyes during those months, or perhaps years, which must elapse before +their engagement could be carried out. Nor must he allow her to +suppose that either he or she were to depend solely upon the other +for the amusements and employments of life. In this way he argued the +matter very sensibly within his own mind, and resolved, without much +difficulty, that he would go to Courcy Castle, and bask for a week in +the sunlight of the fashion which would be collected there. The quiet +humdrum of his own fireside would come upon him soon enough! + +"I think I shall leave you on Wednesday, sir," Crosbie said to the +squire at breakfast on Sunday morning. + +"Leave us on Wednesday!" said the squire, who had an old-fashioned +idea that people who were engaged to marry each other should remain +together as long as circumstances could be made to admit of their +doing so. "Nothing wrong, is there?" + +"O dear, no! But everything must come to an end some day; and as I +must make one or two short visits before I get back to town, I might +as well go on Wednesday. Indeed, I have made it as late as I possibly +could." + +"Where do you go from here?" asked Bernard. + +"Well, as it happens, only into the next county,--to Courcy Castle." +And then there was nothing more said about the matter at that +breakfast-table. + +It had become their habit to meet together on the Sunday mornings +before church, on the lawn belonging to the Small House, and on this +day the three gentlemen walked down together, and found Lily and Bell +already waiting for them. They generally had some few minutes to +spare on those occasions before Mrs. Dale summoned them to pass +through the house to church, and such was the case at present. The +squire at these times would stand in the middle of the grass-plot, +surveying his grounds, and taking stock of the shrubs, and flowers, +and fruit-trees round him; for he never forgot that it was all his +own, and would thus use this opportunity, as he seldom came down +to see the spot on other days. Mrs. Dale, as she would see him +from her own window while she was tying on her bonnet, would feel +that she knew what was passing through his mind, and would regret +that circumstances had forced her to be beholden to him for such +assistance. But, in truth, she did not know all that he thought at +such times. "It is mine," he would say to himself, as he looked +around on the pleasant place. "But it is well for me that they should +enjoy it. She is my brother's widow, and she is welcome;--very +welcome." I think that if those two persons had known more than they +did of each other's hearts and minds they might have loved each other +better. + +And then Crosbie told Lily of his intention. "On Wednesday!" she +said, turning almost pale with emotion as she heard this news. He had +told her abruptly, not thinking, probably, that such tidings would +affect her so strongly. + +"Well, yes. I have written to Lady De Courcy and said Wednesday. It +wouldn't do for me exactly to drop everybody, and perhaps--" + +"Oh, no! And, Adolphus, you don't suppose I begrudge your going. Only +it does seem so sudden; does it not?" + +"You see, I've been here over six weeks." + +"Yes; you've been very good. When I think of it, what a six weeks it +has been! I wonder whether the difference seems to you as great as it +does to me. I've left off being a grub, and begun to be a butterfly." + +"But you mustn't be a butterfly when you're married, Lily." + +"No; not in that sense. But I meant that my real position in the +world,--that for which I would fain hope that I was created,--opened +to me only when I knew you and knew that you loved me. But mamma is +calling us, and we must go through to church. Going on Wednesday! +There are only three days more, then!" + +"Yes, just three days," he said, as he took her on his arm and passed +through the house on to the road. + +"And when are we to see you again?" she asked, as they reached the +churchyard. + +"Ah, who is to say that yet? We must ask the Chairman of Committees +when he will let me go again." Then there was nothing more said, and +they all followed the squire through the little porch and up to the +big family-pew in which they all sat. Here the squire took his place +in one special corner which he had occupied ever since his father's +death, and from which he read the responses loudly and plainly,--so +loudly and plainly, that the parish clerk could by no means equal +him, though with emulous voice he still made the attempt. "T' +squire'd like to be squire, and parson, and clerk, and everything; so +a would," the poor clerk would say, when complaining of the ill-usage +which he suffered. + +If Lily's prayers were interrupted by her new sorrow, I think that +her fault in that respect would be forgiven. Of course she had known +that Crosbie was not going to remain at Allington much longer. She +knew quite as well as he did the exact day on which his leave of +absence came to its end, and the hour at which it behoved him to +walk into his room at the General Committee Office. She had taught +herself to think that he would remain with them up to the end of his +vacation, and now she felt as a schoolboy would feel who was told +suddenly, a day or two before the time, that the last week of his +holidays was to be taken from him. The grievance would have been +slight had she known it from the first; but what schoolboy could +stand such a shock, when the loss amounted to two-thirds of his +remaining wealth? Lily did not blame her lover. She did not even +think that he ought to stay. She would not allow herself to suppose +that he could propose anything that was unkind. But she felt her +loss, and more than once, as she knelt at her prayers, she wiped a +hidden tear from her eyes. + +Crosbie also was thinking of his departure more than he should have +done during Mr. Boyce's sermon. "It's easy listening to him," Mrs. +Hearn used to say of her husband's successor. "It don't give one much +trouble following him into his arguments." Mr. Crosbie perhaps found +the difficulty greater than did Mrs. Hearn, and would have devoted +his mind more perfectly to the discourse had the argument been +deeper. It is very hard, that necessity of listening to a man +who says nothing. On this occasion Crosbie ignored the necessity +altogether, and gave up his mind to the consideration of what it +might be expedient that he should say to Lily before he went. He +remembered well those few words which he had spoken in the first +ardour of his love, pleading that an early day might be fixed for +their marriage. And he remembered, also, how prettily Lily had +yielded to him. "Only do not let it be too soon," she had said. +Now he must unsay what he had then said. He must plead against his +own pleadings, and explain to her that he desired to postpone the +marriage rather than to hasten it--a task which, I presume, must +always be an unpleasant one for any man engaged to be married. "I +might as well do it at once," he said to himself, as he bobbed his +head forward into his hands by way of returning thanks for the +termination of Mr. Boyce's sermon. + +As he had only three days left, it was certainly as well that he +should do this at once. Seeing that Lily had no fortune, she could +not in justice complain of a prolonged engagement. That was the +argument which he used in his own mind. But he as often told himself +that she would have very great ground of complaint if she were left +for a day unnecessarily in doubt as to this matter. Why had he rashly +spoken those hasty words to her in his love, betraying himself into +all manner of scrapes, as a schoolboy might do, or such a one as +Johnny Eames? What an ass he had been not to have remembered himself +and to have been collected,--not to have bethought himself on the +occasion of all that might be due to Adolphus Crosbie! And then +the idea came upon him whether he had not altogether made himself +an ass in this matter. And as he gave his arm to Lily outside the +church-door, he shrugged his shoulders while making that reflection. +"It is too late now," he said to himself; and then turned round +and made some sweet little loving speech to her. Adolphus Crosbie +was a clever man; and he meant also to be a true man,--if only the +temptations to falsehood might not be too great for him. + +"Lily," he said to her, "will you walk in the fields after lunch?" + +Walk in the fields with him! Of course she would. There were only +three days left, and would she not give up to him every moment of her +time, if he would accept of all her moments? And then they lunched at +the Small House, Mrs. Dale having promised to join the dinner-party +at the squire's table. The squire did not eat any lunch, excusing +himself on the plea that lunch in itself was a bad thing. "He can eat +lunch at his own house," Mrs. Dale afterwards said to Bell. "And I've +often seen him take a glass of sherry." While thinking of this, Mrs. +Dale made her own dinner. If her brother-in-law would not eat at her +board, neither would she eat at his. + +And then in a few minutes Lily had on her hat, in place of that +decorous, church-going bonnet which Crosbie was wont to abuse with +a lover's privilege, feeling well assured that he might say what +he liked of the bonnet as long as he would praise the hat. "Only +three days," she said, as she walked down with him across the +lawn at a quick pace. But she said it in a voice which made no +complaint,--which seemed to say simply this,--that as the good +time was to be so short, they must make the most of it. And what +compliment could be paid to a man so sweet as that? What flattery +could be more gratifying? All my earthly heaven is with you; and now, +for the delight of these immediately present months or so, there are +left to me but three days of this heaven! Come, then; I will make the +most of what happiness is given to me. Crosbie felt it all as she +felt it, and recognized the extent of the debt he owed her. "I'll +come down to them for a day at Christmas, though it be only for a +day," he said to himself. Then he reflected that as such was his +intention, it might be well for him to open his present conversation +with a promise to that effect. + +"Yes, Lily; there are only three days left now. But I wonder +whether--I suppose you'll all be at home at Christmas?" + +"At home at Christmas?--of course we shall be at home. You don't mean +to say you'll come to us!" + +"Well; I think I will, if you'll have me." + +"Oh! that will make such a difference. Let me see. That will only be +three months. And to have you here on Christmas Day! I would sooner +have you then than on any other day in the year." + +"It will only be for one day, Lily. I shall come to dinner on +Christmas Eve, and must go away the day after." + +"But you will come direct to our house!" + +"If you can spare me a room." + +"Of course we can. So we could now. Only when you came, you know--" +Then she looked up into his face and smiled. + +"When I came, I was the squire's friend and your cousin's, rather +than yours. But that's all changed now." + +"Yes; you're my friend now,--mine specially. I'm to be now and always +your own special, dearest friend;--eh, Adolphus?" And then she +exacted from him the repetition of the promise which he had so often +given her. + +By this time they had passed through the grounds of the Great House +and were in the fields. "Lily," said he, speaking rather suddenly, +and making her feel by his manner that something of importance was +to be said; "I want to say a few words to you about,--business." And +he gave a little laugh as he spoke the last word, making her fully +understand that he was not quite at his ease. + +"Of course I'll listen. And, Adolphus, pray don't be afraid about +me. What I mean is, don't think that I can't bear cares and troubles. +I can bear anything as long as you love me. I say that because I'm +afraid I seemed to complain about your going. I didn't mean to." + +"I never thought you complained, dearest. Nothing can be better than +you are at all times and in every way. A man would be very hard to +please if you didn't please him." + +"If I can only please you--" + +"You do please me, in everything. Dear Lily, I think I found an angel +when I found you. But now about this business. Perhaps I'd better +tell you everything." + +"Oh, yes, tell me everything." + +"But then you mustn't misunderstand me. And if I talk about money, +you mustn't suppose that it has anything to do with my love for you." + +"I wish for your sake that I wasn't such a little pauper." + +"What I mean to say is this, that if I seem to be anxious about +money, you must not suppose that that anxiety bears any reference +whatever to my affection for you. I should love you just the same, +and look forward just as much to my happiness in marrying you, +whether you were rich or poor. You understand that?" + +She did not quite understand him; but she merely pressed his arm, +so as to encourage him to go on. She presumed that he intended to +tell her something as to their future mode of life--something which +he supposed it might not be pleasant for her to hear, and she was +determined to show him that she would receive it pleasantly. + +"You know," said he, "how anxious I have been that our marriage +should not be delayed. To me, of course, it must be everything now +to call you my own as soon as possible." In answer to which little +declaration of love, she merely pressed his arm again, the subject +being one on which she had not herself much to say. + +"Of course I must be very anxious, but I find it not so easy as I +expected." + +"You know what I said, Adolphus. I said that I thought we had better +wait. I'm sure mamma thinks so. And if we can only see you now and +then--" + +"That will be a matter of course. But, as I was saying-- Let me see. +Yes,--all that waiting will be intolerable to me. It is such a bore +for a man when he has made up his mind on such a matter as marriage, +not to make the change at once, especially when he is going to take +to himself such a little angel as you are," and as he spoke these +loving words, his arm was again put round her waist; "but--" and then +he stopped. He wanted to make her understand that this change of +intention on his part was caused by the unexpected misconduct of her +uncle. He desired that she should know exactly how the matter stood; +that he had been led to suppose that her uncle would give her some +small fortune; that he had been disappointed, and had a right to feel +the disappointment keenly; and that in consequence of this blow to +his expectations, he must put off his marriage. But he wished her +also to understand at the same time that this did not in the least +mar his love for her; that he did not join her at all in her uncle's +fault. All this he was anxious to convey to her, but he did not know +how to get it said in a manner that would not be offensive to her +personally, and that should not appear to accuse himself of sordid +motives. He had begun by declaring that he would tell her all; but +sometimes it is not easy, that task of telling a person everything. +There are things which will not get themselves told. + +"You mean, dearest," said she, "that you cannot afford to marry at +once." + +"Yes; that is it. I had expected that I should be able, but--" + +Did any man in love ever yet find himself able to tell the lady whom +he loved that he was very much disappointed on discovering that she +had got no money? If so, his courage, I should say, was greater than +his love. Crosbie found himself unable to do it, and thought himself +cruelly used because of the difficulty. The delay to which he +intended to subject her was occasioned, as he felt, by the squire, +and not by himself. He was ready to do his part, if only the squire +had been willing to do the part which properly belonged to him. The +squire would not; and, therefore, neither could he,--not as yet. +Justice demanded that all this should be understood; but when he came +to the telling of it, he found that the story would not form itself +properly. He must let the thing go, and bear the injustice, consoling +himself as best he might by the reflection that he at least was +behaving well in the matter. + +"It won't make me unhappy, Adolphus." + +"Will it not?" said he. "As regards myself, I own that I cannot bear +the delay with so much indifference." + +"Nay, my love; but you should not misunderstand me," she said, +stopping and facing him on the path in which they were walking. "I +suppose I ought to protest, according to the common rules, that I +would rather wait. Young ladies are expected to say so. If you were +pressing me to marry at once, I should say so, no doubt. But now, as +it is, I will be more honest. I have only one wish in the world, and +that is, to be your wife,--to be able to share everything with you. +The sooner we can be together the better it will be,--at any rate, +for me. There; will that satisfy you?" + +"My own, own Lily!" + +"Yes, your own Lily. You shall have no cause to doubt me, dearest. +But I do not expect that I am to have everything exactly as I want +it. I say again, that I shall not be unhappy in waiting. How can I be +unhappy while I feel certain of your love? I was disappointed just +now when you said that you were going so soon; and I am afraid I +showed it. But those little things are more unendurable than the big +things." + +"Yes; that's very true." + +"But there are three more days, and I mean to enjoy them so much! And +then you will write to me: and you will come at Christmas. And next +year, when you have your holiday, you will come down to us again; +will you not?" + +"You may be quite sure of that." + +"And so the time will go by till it suits you to come and take me. I +shall not be unhappy." + +"I, at any rate, shall be impatient." + +"Ah, men always are impatient. It is one of their privileges, I +suppose. And I don't think that a man ever has the same positive +and complete satisfaction in knowing that he is loved, which a girl +feels. You are my bird that I have shot with my own gun; and the +assurance of my success is sufficient for my happiness." + +"You have bowled me over, and know that I can't get up again." + +"I don't know about can't. I would let you up quick enough, if you +wished it." + +How he made his loving assurance that he did not wish it, never would +or could wish it, the reader will readily understand. And then he +considered that he might as well leave all those money questions as +they now stood. His real object had been to convince her that their +joint circumstances did not admit of an immediate marriage; and as to +that she completely understood him. Perhaps, during the next three +days, some opportunity might arise for explaining the whole matter to +Mrs. Dale. At any rate, he had declared his own purpose honestly, and +no one could complain of him. + +On the following day they all rode over to Guestwick together,--the +all consisting of the two girls, with Bernard and Crosbie. Their +object was to pay two visits,--one to their very noble and highly +exalted ally, the Lady Julia De Guest; and the other to their much +humbler and better known friend, Mrs. Eames. As Guestwick Manor lay +on their road into the town, they performed the grander ceremony the +first. The present Earl De Guest, brother of that Lady Fanny who ran +away with Major Dale, was an unmarried nobleman, who devoted himself +chiefly to the breeding of cattle. And as he bred very good cattle, +taking infinite satisfaction in the employment, devoting all his +energies thereto, and abstaining from all prominently evil courses, +it should be acknowledged that he was not a bad member of society. +He was a thorough-going old Tory, whose proxy was always in the hand +of the leader of his party; and who seldom himself went near the +metropolis, unless called thither by some occasion of cattle-showing. +He was a short, stumpy man, with red cheeks and a round face; who +was usually to be seen till dinner-time dressed in a very old +shooting coat, with breeches, gaiters, and very thick shoes. He lived +generally out of doors, and was almost as great in the preserving +of game as in the breeding of oxen. He knew every acre of his own +estate, and every tree upon it, as thoroughly as a lady knows the +ornaments in her drawing-room. There was no gap in a fence of which +he did not remember the exact bearings, no path hither or thither as +to which he could not tell the why and the wherefore. He had been +in his earlier years a poor man as regarded his income,--very poor, +seeing that he was an earl. But he was not at present by any means an +impoverished man, having been taught a lesson by the miseries of his +father and grandfather, and having learned to live within his means. +Now, as he was going down the vale of years, men said that he was +becoming rich, and that he had ready money to spend,--a position in +which no Lord De Guest had found himself for many generations back. +His father and grandfather had been known as spendthrifts; and now +men said that this earl was a miser. + +There was not much of nobility in his appearance; but they greatly +mistook Lord De Guest who conceived that on that account his pride of +place was not dear to his soul. His peerage dated back to the time of +King John, and there were but three lords in England whose patents +had been conferred before his own. He knew what privileges were due +to him on behalf of his blood, and was not disposed to abate one +jot of them. He was not loud in demanding them. As he went through +the world he sent no trumpeters to the right or left, proclaiming +that the Earl De Guest was coming. When he spread his board for his +friends, which he did but on rare occasions, he entertained them +simply, with a mild, tedious, old-fashioned courtesy. We may say +that, if properly treated, the earl never walked over anybody. But he +could, if ill-treated, be grandly indignant; and if attacked, could +hold his own against all the world. He knew himself to be every +inch an earl, pottering about after his oxen with his muddy gaiters +and red cheeks, as much as though he were glittering with stars in +courtly royal ceremonies among his peers at Westminster;--ay, more an +earl than any of those who use their nobility for pageant purposes. +Woe be to him who should mistake that old coat for a badge of rural +degradation! Now and again some unlucky wight did make such a +mistake, and had to do his penance very uncomfortably. + +With the earl lived a maiden sister, the Lady Julia. Bernard Dale's +father had, in early life, run away with one sister, but no suitor +had been fortunate enough to induce the Lady Julia to run with him. +Therefore she still lived, in maiden blessedness, as mistress of +Guestwick Manor; and as such had no mean opinion of the high position +which destiny had called upon her to fill. She was a tedious, dull, +virtuous old woman, who gave herself infinite credit for having +remained all her days in the home of her youth, probably forgetting, +in her present advanced years, that her temptations to leave it had +not been strong or numerous. She generally spoke of her sister Fanny +with some little contempt, as though that poor lady had degraded +herself in marrying a younger brother. She was as proud of her own +position as was the earl her brother, but her pride was maintained +with more of outward show and less of inward nobility. It was hardly +enough for her that the world should know that she was a De Guest, +and therefore she had assumed little pompous ways and certain airs of +condescension which did not make her popular with her neighbours. + +The intercourse between Guestwick Manor and Allington was not very +frequent or very cordial. Soon after the running away of the Lady +Fanny, the two families had agreed to acknowledge their connection +with each other, and to let it be known by the world that they were +on friendly terms. Either that course was necessary to them, or +the other course, of letting it be known that they were enemies. +Friendship was the less troublesome, and therefore the two families +called on each other from time to time, and gave each other dinners +about once a year. The earl regarded the squire as a man who had +deserted his politics, and had thereby forfeited the respect due +to him as an hereditary land magnate; and the squire was wont to +be-little the earl as one who understood nothing of the outer world. +At Guestwick Manor Bernard was to some extent a favourite. He was +actually a relative, having in his veins blood of the De Guests, and +was not the less a favourite because he was the heir to Allington, +and because the blood of the Dales was older even than that of the +noble family to which he was allied. When Bernard should come to be +the squire, then indeed there might be cordial relations between +Guestwick Manor and Allington; unless, indeed, the earl's heir and +the squire's heir should have some fresh cause of ill-will between +themselves. + +They found Lady Julia sitting in her drawing-room alone, and +introduced to her Mr. Crosbie in due form. The fact of Lily's +engagement was of course known at the manor, and it was quite +understood that her intended husband was now brought over that he +might be looked at and approved. Lady Julia made a very elaborate +curtsey, and expressed a hope that her young friend might be made +happy in that sphere of life to which it had pleased God to call her. + +"I hope I shall, Lady Julia," said Lily, with a little laugh; "at any +rate I mean to try." + +"We all try, my dear, but many of us fail to try with sufficient +energy of purpose. It is only by doing our duty that we can hope to +be happy, whether in single life or in married." + +"Miss Dale means to be a dragon of perfection in the performance of +hers," said Crosbie. + +"A dragon!" said Lady Julia. "No; I hope Miss Lily Dale will never +become a dragon." And then she turned to her nephew. It may be as +well to say at once that she never forgave Mr. Crosbie the freedom of +the expression which he had used. He had been in the drawing-room of +Guestwick Manor for two minutes only, and it did not become him to +talk about dragons. "Bernard," she said, "I heard from your mother +yesterday. I am afraid she does not seem to be very strong." And then +there was a little conversation, not very interesting in its nature, +between the aunt and the nephew as to the general health of Lady +Fanny. + +"I didn't know my aunt was so unwell," said Bell. + +"She isn't ill," said Bernard. "She never is ill; but then she is +never well." + +"Your aunt," said Lady Julia, seeming to put a touch of sarcasm into +the tone of her voice as she repeated the word--"your aunt has never +enjoyed good health since she left this house; but that is a long +time ago." + +"A very long time," said Crosbie, who was not accustomed to be left +in his chair silent. "You, Dale, at any rate, can hardly remember +it." + +"But I can remember it," said Lady Julia, gathering herself up. "I +can remember when my sister Fanny was recognized as the beauty of the +country. It is a dangerous gift, that of beauty." + +"Very dangerous," said Crosbie. Then Lily laughed again, and Lady +Julia became more angry than ever. What odious man was this whom her +neighbours were going to take into their very bosom! But she had +heard of Mr. Crosbie before, and Mr. Crosbie also had heard of her. + +"By-the-by, Lady Julia," said he, "I think I know some very dear +friends of yours." + +"Very dear friends is a very strong word. I have not many very dear +friends." + +"I mean the Gazebees. I have heard Mortimer Gazebee and Lady Amelia +speak of you." + +Whereupon Lady Julia confessed that she did know the Gazebees. Mr. +Gazebee, she said, was a man who in early life had wanted many +advantages, but still he was a very estimable person. He was now in +Parliament, and she understood that he was making himself useful. She +had not quite approved of Lady Amelia's marriage at the time, and +so she had told her very old friend Lady De Courcy; but-- And then +Lady Julia said many words in praise of Mr. Gazebee, which seemed to +amount to this; that he was an excellent sort of man, with a full +conviction of the too great honour done to him by the earl's daughter +who had married him, and a complete consciousness that even that +marriage had not put him on a par with his wife's relations, or even +with his wife. And then it came out that Lady Julia in the course of +the next week was going to meet the Gazebees at Courcy Castle. + +"I am delighted to think that I shall have the pleasure of seeing you +there," said Crosbie. + +"Indeed!" said Lady Julia. + +"I am going to Courcy on Wednesday. That, I fear, will be too early +to allow of my being of any service to your ladyship." + +Lady Julia drew herself up, and declined the escort which Mr. Crosbie +had seemed to offer. It grieved her to find that Lily Dale's future +husband was an intimate friend of her friend's, and it especially +grieved her to find that he was now going to that friend's house. +It was a grief to her, and she showed that it was. It also grieved +Crosbie to find that Lady Julia was to be a fellow guest with himself +at Courcy Castle; but he did not show it. He expressed nothing but +smiles and civil self-congratulation on the matter, pretending +that he would have much delight in again meeting Lady Julia; but, +in truth, he would have given much could he have invented any +manoeuvre by which her ladyship might have been kept at home. + +"What a horrid old woman she is," said Lily, as they rode back down +the avenue. "I beg your pardon, Bernard; for, of course, she is your +aunt." + +"Yes; she is my aunt; and though I am not very fond of her, I deny +that she is a horrid old woman. She never murdered anybody, or robbed +anybody, or stole away any other woman's lover." + +"I should think not," said Lily. + +"She says her prayers earnestly, I have no doubt," continued Bernard, +"and gives away money to the poor, and would sacrifice to-morrow any +desire of her own to her brother's wish. I acknowledge that she is +ugly, and pompous, and that, being a woman, she ought not to have +such a long black beard on her upper lip." + +"I don't care a bit about her beard," said Lily. "But why did she +tell me to do my duty? I didn't go there to have a sermon preached to +me." + +"And why did she talk about beauty being dangerous?" said Bell. "Of +course, we all knew what she meant." + +"I didn't know at all what she meant," said Lily; "and I don't know +now." + +"I think she's a charming woman, and I shall be especially civil to +her at Lady De Courcy's," said Crosbie. + +And in this way, saying hard things of the poor old spinster whom +they had left, they made their way into Guestwick, and again +dismounted at Mrs. Eames's door. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +A VISIT TO GUESTWICK. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +As the party from Allington rode up the narrow High-street +of Guestwick, and across the market square towards the small, +respectable, but very dull row of new houses in which Mrs. Eames +lived, the people of Guestwick were all aware that Miss Lily Dale was +escorted by her future husband. The opinion that she had been a very +fortunate girl was certainly general among the Guestwickians, though +it was not always expressed in open or generous terms. "It was a +great match for her," some said, but shook their heads at the same +time, hinting that Mr. Crosbie's life in London was not all that it +should be, and suggesting that she might have been more safe had she +been content to bestow herself upon some country neighbour of less +dangerous pretensions. Others declared that it was no such great +match after all. They knew his income to a penny, and believed +that the young people would find it very difficult to keep a house +in London unless the old squire intended to assist them. But, +nevertheless, Lily was envied as she rode through the town with her +handsome lover by her side. + +And she was very happy. I will not deny that she had some feeling of +triumphant satisfaction in the knowledge that she was envied. Such a +feeling on her part was natural, and is natural to all men and women +who are conscious that they have done well in the adjustment of their +own affairs. As she herself had said, he was her bird, the spoil of +her own gun, the product of such capacity as she had in her, on which +she was to live, and, if possible, to thrive during the remainder of +her life. Lily fully recognized the importance of the thing she was +doing, and, in soberest guise, had thought much of this matter of +marriage. But the more she thought of it the more satisfied she was +that she was doing well. And yet she knew that there was a risk. He +who was now everything to her might die; nay, it was possible that +he might be other than she thought him to be; that he might neglect +her, desert her, or misuse her. But she had resolved to trust in +everything, and, having so trusted, she would not provide for herself +any possibility of retreat. Her ship should go out into the middle +ocean, beyond all ken of the secure port from which it had sailed; +her army should fight its battle with no hope of other safety than +that which victory gives. All the world might know that she loved him +if all the world chose to inquire about the matter. She triumphed in +her lover, and did not deny even to herself that she was triumphant. + +Mrs. Eames was delighted to see them. It was so good in Mr. Crosbie +to come over and call upon such a poor, forlorn woman as her, and so +good in Captain Dale; so good also in the dear girls, who, at the +present moment, had so much to make them happy at home at Allington! +Little things, accounted as bare civilities by others, were esteemed +as great favours by Mrs. Eames. + +"And dear Mrs. Dale? I hope she was not fatigued when we kept her up +the other night so unconscionably late?" Bell and Lily both assured +her that their mother was none the worse for what she had gone +through; and then Mrs. Eames got up and left the room, with the +declared purpose of looking for John and Mary, but bent, in truth, on +the production of some cake and sweet wine which she kept under lock +and key in the little parlour. + +"Don't let's stay here very long," whispered Crosbie. + +"No, not very long," said Lily. "But when you come to see my friends +you mustn't be in a hurry, Mr. Crosbie." + +"He had his turn with Lady Julia," said Bell, "and we must have ours +now." + +"At any rate, Mrs. Eames won't tell us to do our duty and to beware +of being too beautiful," said Lily. + +Mary and John came into the room before their mother returned; then +came Mrs. Eames, and a few minutes afterwards the cake and wine +arrived. It certainly was rather dull, as none of the party seemed to +be at their ease. The grandeur of Mr. Crosbie was too great for Mrs. +Eames and her daughter, and John was almost silenced by the misery of +his position. He had not yet answered Miss Roper's letter, nor had he +even made up his mind whether he would answer it or no. And then the +sight of Lily's happiness did not fill him with all that friendly joy +which he should perhaps have felt as the friend of her childhood. To +tell the truth, he hated Crosbie, and so he had told himself; and had +so told his sister also very frequently since the day of the party. + +"I tell you what it is, Molly," he had said, "if there was any way of +doing it, I'd fight that man." + +"What; and make Lily wretched?" + +"She'll never be happy with him. I'm sure she won't. I don't want to +do her any harm, but yet I'd like to fight that man,--if I only knew +how to manage it." + +And then he bethought himself that if they could both be slaughtered +in such an encounter it would be the only fitting termination to the +present state of things. In that way, too, there would be an escape +from Amelia, and, at the present moment, he saw none other. + +When he entered the room he shook hands with all the party from +Allington, but, as he told his sister afterwards, his flesh crept +when he touched Crosbie. Crosbie, as he contemplated the Eames family +sitting stiff and ill at ease in their own drawing-room chairs, made +up his mind that it would be well that his wife should see as little +of John Eames as might be when she came to London;--not that he was +in any way jealous of her lover. He had learned everything from +Lily,--all, at least, that Lily knew,--and regarded the matter +rather as a good joke. "Don't see him too often," he had said to +her, "for fear he should make an ass of himself." Lily had told him +everything,--all that she could tell; but yet he did not in the least +comprehend that Lily had, in truth, a warm affection for the young +man whom he despised. + +"Thank you, no," said Crosbie. "I never do take wine in the middle of +the day." + +"But a bit of cake?" And Mrs. Eames by her look implored him to do +her so much honour. She implored Captain Dale, also, but they were +both inexorable. I do not know that the two girls were at all more +inclined to eat and drink than the two men; but they understood +that Mrs. Eames would be broken-hearted if no one partook of her +delicacies. The little sacrifices of society are all made by women, +as are also the great sacrifices of life. A man who is good for +anything is always ready for his duty, and so is a good woman always +ready for a sacrifice. + +"We really must go now," said Bell, "because of the horses." And +under this excuse they got away. + +"You will come over before you go back to London, John?" said Lily, +as he came out with the intention of helping her mount, from which +purpose, however, he was forced to recede by the iron will of Mr. +Crosbie. + +"Yes, I'll come over again--before I go. Good-by." + +"Good-by, John," said Bell. "Good-by, Eames," said Captain Dale. +Crosbie, as he seated himself in the saddle, made the very slightest +sign of recognition, to which his rival would not condescend to pay +any attention. "I'll manage to have a fight with him in some way," +said Eames to himself as he walked back through the passage of his +mother's house. And Crosbie, as he settled his feet in the stirrups, +felt that he disliked the young man more and more. It would be +monstrous to suppose that there could be aught of jealousy in the +feeling; and yet he did dislike him very strongly, and felt almost +angry with Lily for asking him to come again to Allington. "I must +put an end to all that," he said to himself as he rode silently out +of town. + +"You must not snub my friends, sir," said Lily, smiling as she spoke, +but yet with something of earnestness in her voice. They were out of +the town by this time, and Crosbie had hardly uttered a word since +they had left Mrs. Eames's door. They were now on the high road, and +Bell and Bernard Dale were somewhat in advance of them. + +"I never snub anybody," said Crosbie, petulantly; "that is, unless +they have absolutely deserved snubbing." + +"And have I deserved it? Because I seem to have got it," said Lily. + +"Nonsense, Lily. I never snubbed you yet, and I don't think it likely +that I shall begin. But you ought not to accuse me of not being civil +to your friends. In the first place I am as civil to them as my +nature will allow me to be. And, in the second place--" + +"Well; in the second place--?" + +"I am not quite sure that you are very wise to encourage that young +man's--friendship just at present." + +"That means, I suppose, that I am very wrong to do so?" + +"No, dearest, it does not mean that. If I meant so I would tell +you so honestly. I mean just what I say. There can, I suppose, be +no doubt that he has filled himself with some kind of romantic +attachment for you,--a foolish kind of love which I don't suppose he +ever expected to gratify, but the idea of which lends a sort of grace +to his life. When he meets some young woman fit to be his wife he +will forget all about it, but till then he will go about fancying +himself a despairing lover. And then such a young man as John Eames +is very apt to talk of his fancies." + +"I don't believe for a moment that he would mention my name to any +one." + +"But, Lily, perhaps I may know more of young men than you do." + +"Yes, of course you do." + +"And I can assure you that they are generally too well inclined to +make free with the names of girls whom they think that they like. You +must not be surprised if I am unwilling that any man should make free +with your name." + +After this Lily was silent for a minute or two. She felt that an +injustice was being done to her and she was not inclined to put up +with it, but she could not quite see where the injustice lay. A great +deal was owing from her to Crosbie. In very much she was bound to +yield to him, and she was anxious to do on his behalf even more than +her duty. But yet she had a strong conviction that it would not be +well that she should give way to him in everything. She wished to +think as he thought as far as possible, but she could not say that +she agreed with him when she knew that she differed from him. John +Eames was an old friend whom she could not abandon, and so much at +the present time she felt herself obliged to say. + +"But, Adolphus--" + +"Well, dearest?" + +"You would not wish me to be unkind to so very old a friend as John +Eames? I have known him all my life, and we have all of us had a very +great regard for the whole family. His father was my uncle's most +particular friend." + +"I think, Lily, you must understand what I mean. I don't want you to +quarrel with any of them, or to be what you call unkind. But you need +not give special and pressing invitations to this young man to come +and see you before he goes back to London, and then to come and see +you directly you get to London. You tell me that he has some kind of +romantic idea of being in love with you;--of being in despair because +you are not in love with him. It's all great nonsense, no doubt, but +it seems to me that under such circumstances you'd better--just leave +him alone." + +Again Lily was silent. These were her three last days, in which it +was her intention to be especially happy, but above all things to +make him especially happy. On no account would she say to him sharp +words, or encourage in her own heart a feeling of animosity against +him, and yet she believed him to be wrong; and so believing could +hardly bring herself to bear the injury. Such was her nature, as +a Dale. And let it be remembered that very many who can devote +themselves for great sacrifices, cannot bring themselves to +the endurance of little injuries. Lily could have given up any +gratification for her lover, but she could not allow herself to have +been in the wrong, believing herself to have been in the right. + +"I have asked him now, and he must come," she said. + +"But do not press him to come any more." + +"Certainly not, after what you have said, Adolphus. If he comes over +to Allington, he will see me in mamma's house, to which he has always +been made welcome by her. Of course I understand perfectly--" + +"You understand what, Lily?" + +But she had stopped herself, fearing that she might say that which +would be offensive to him if she continued. + +"What is it you understand, Lily?" + +"Do not press me to go on, Adolphus. As far as I can, I will do all +that you want me to do." + +"You meant to say that when you find yourself an inmate of my house, +as a matter of course you could not ask your own friends to come and +see you. Was that gracious?" + +"Whatever I may have meant to say, I did not say that. Nor in truth +did I mean it. Pray don't go on about it now. These are to be our +last days, you know, and we shouldn't waste them by talking of things +that are unpleasant. After all poor Johnny Eames is nothing to me; +nothing, nothing. How can any one be anything to me when I think of +you?" + +But even this did not bring Crosbie back at once into a pleasant +humour. Had Lily yielded to him and confessed that he was right, he +would have made himself at once as pleasant as the sun in May. But +this she had not done. She had simply abstained from her argument +because she did not choose to be vexed, and had declared her +continued purpose of seeing Eames on his promised visit. Crosbie +would have had her acknowledge herself wrong, and would have +delighted in the privilege of forgiving her. But Lily Dale was one +who did not greatly relish forgiveness, or any necessity of being +forgiven. So they rode on, if not in silence, without much joy in +their conversation. It was now late on the Monday afternoon, and +Crosbie was to go early on the Wednesday morning. What if these three +last days should come to be marred with such terrible drawbacks as +these! + +Bernard Dale had not spoken a word to his cousin of his suit, since +they had been interrupted by Crosbie and Lily as they were lying +on the bank by the ha-ha. He had danced with her again and again +at Mrs. Dale's party, and had seemed to revert to his old modes of +conversation without difficulty. Bell, therefore, had believed the +matter to be over, and was thankful to her cousin, declaring within +her own bosom that the whole matter should be treated by her as +though it had never happened. To no one,--not even to her mother, +would she tell it. To such reticence she bound herself for his sake, +feeling that he would be best pleased that it should be so. But now +as they rode on together, far in advance of the other couple, he +again returned to the subject. + +"Bell," said he, "am I to have any hope?" + +"Any hope as to what, Bernard?" + +"I hardly know whether a man is bound to take a single answer on such +a subject. But this I know, that if a man's heart is concerned, he is +not very willing to do so." + +"When that answer has been given honestly and truly--" + +"Oh, no doubt. I don't at all suppose that you were dishonest or +false when you refused to allow me to speak to you." + +"But, Bernard, I did not refuse to allow you to speak to me." + +"Something very like it. But, however, I have no doubt you were true +enough. But, Bell, why should it be so? If you were in love with any +one else I could understand it." + +"I am not in love with any one else." + +"Exactly. And there are so many reasons why you and I should join our +fortunes together." + +"It cannot be a question of fortune, Bernard." + +"Do listen to me. Do let me speak, at any rate. I presume I may at +least suppose that you do not dislike me." + +"Oh, no." + +"And though you might not be willing to accept any man's hand merely +on a question of fortune, surely the fact that our marriage would be +in every way suitable as regards money should not set you against it. +Of my own love for you I will not speak further, as I do not doubt +that you believe what I say; but should you not question your own +feelings very closely before you determine to oppose the wishes of +all those who are nearest to you?" + +"Do you mean mamma, Bernard?" + +"Not her especially, though I cannot but think she would like a +marriage that would keep all the family together, and would give you +an equal claim to the property to that which I have." + +"That would not have a feather's-weight with mamma." + +"Have you asked her?" + +"No, I have mentioned the matter to no one." + +"Then you cannot know. And as to my uncle, I have the means of +knowing that it is the great desire of his life. I must say that I +think some consideration for him should induce you to pause before +you give a final answer, even though no consideration for me should +have any weight with you." + +"I would do more for you than for him,--much more." + +"Then do this for me. Allow me to think that I have not yet had an +answer to my proposal; give me to this day month, to Christmas; till +any time that you like to name, so that I may think that it is not +yet settled, and may tell uncle Christopher that such is the case." + +"Bernard, it would be useless." + +"It would at any rate show him that you are willing to think of it." + +"But I am not willing to think of it;--not in that way. I do know my +own mind thoroughly, and I should be very wrong if I were to deceive +you." + +"And you wish me to give that as your only answer to my uncle?" + +"To tell the truth, Bernard, I do not much care what you may say to +my uncle in this matter. He can have no right to interfere in the +disposal of my hand, and therefore I need not regard his wishes on +the subject. I will explain to you in one word what my feelings are +about it. I would accept no man in opposition to mamma's wishes; but +not even for her could I accept any man in opposition to my own. But +as concerns my uncle, I do not feel myself called on to consult him +in any way on such a matter." + +"And yet he is the head of our family." + +"I don't care anything about the family,--not in that way." + +"And he has been very generous to you all." + +"That I deny. He has not been generous to mamma. He is very hard +and ungenerous to mamma. He lets her have that house because he is +anxious that the Dales should seem to be respectable before the +world; and she lives in it, because she thinks it better for us that +she should do so. If I had my way, she should leave it to-morrow--or, +at any rate, as soon as Lily is married. I would much sooner go into +Guestwick, and live as the Eames do." + +"I think you are ungrateful, Bell." + +"No; I am not ungrateful. And as to consulting, Bernard,--I should +be much more inclined to consult you than him about my marriage. If +you would let me look on you altogether as a brother, I should think +little of promising to marry no one whom you did not approve." + +But such an agreement between them would by no means have suited +Bernard's views. He had thought, some four or five weeks back, that +he was not personally very anxious for this match. He had declared to +himself that he liked his cousin well enough; that it would be a good +thing for him to settle himself; that his uncle was reasonable in his +wishes and sufficiently liberal in his offers; and that, therefore, +he would marry. It had hardly occurred to him as probable that his +cousin would reject so eligible an offer, and had certainly never +occurred to him that he would have to suffer anything from such +rejection. He had entertained none of that feeling of which lovers +speak when they declare that they are staking their all upon the +hazard of a die. It had not seemed to him that he was staking +anything, as he gently told his tale of languid love, lying on +the turf by the ha-ha. He had not regarded the possibility of +disappointment, of sorrow, and of a deeply-vexed mind. He would have +felt but little triumph if accepted, and had not thought that he +could be humiliated by any rejection. In this frame of mind he had +gone to his work; but now he found, to his own surprise, that this +girl's answer had made him absolutely unhappy. Having expressed a +wish for this thing, the very expression of the wish made him long to +possess it. He found, as he rode along silently by her side, that he +was capable of more earnestness of desire than he had known himself +to possess. He was at this moment unhappy, disappointed, anxious, +distrustful of the future, and more intent on one special toy than he +had ever been before, even as a boy. He was vexed, and felt himself +to be sore at heart. He looked round at her, as she sat silent, +quiet, and somewhat sad upon her pony, and declared to himself that +she was very beautiful,--that she was a thing to be gained if still +there might be the possibility of gaining her. He felt that he really +loved her, and yet he was almost angry with himself for so feeling. +Why had he subjected himself to this numbing weakness? His love +had never given him any pleasure. Indeed he had never hitherto +acknowledged it; but now he was driven to do so on finding it to be +the source of trouble and pain. I think it is open to us to doubt +whether, even yet, Bernard Dale was in love with his cousin; whether +he was not rather in love with his own desire. But against himself he +found a verdict that he was in love, and was angry with himself and +with all the world. + +"Ah, Bell," he said, coming close up to her, "I wish you could +understand how I love you." And, as he spoke, his cousin +unconsciously recognized more of affection in his tone, and less of +that spirit of bargaining which had seemed to pervade all his former +pleas, than she had ever found before. + +"And do I not love you? Have I not offered to be to you in all +respects as a sister?" + +"That is nothing. Such an offer to me now is simply laughing at me. +Bell, I tell you what,--I will not give you up. The fact is, you do +not know me yet,--not know me as you must know any man before you +choose him for your husband. You and Lily are not alike in this. +You are cautious, doubtful of yourself, and perhaps, also, somewhat +doubtful of others. My heart is set upon this, and I shall still try +to succeed." + +"Ah, Bernard, do not say that! Believe me, when I tell you that it +can never be." + +"No; I will not believe you. I will not allow myself to be made +utterly wretched. I tell you fairly that I will not believe you. I +may surely hope if I choose to hope. No, Bell, I will never give you +up,--unless, indeed, I should see you become another man's wife." + +As he said this, they all turned in through the squire's gate, and +rode up to the yard in which it was their habit to dismount from +their horses. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +JOHN EAMES TAKES A WALK. + + +John Eames watched the party of cavaliers as they rode away from +his mother's door, and then started upon a solitary walk, as soon +as the noise of the horses' hoofs had passed away out of the street. +He was by no means happy in his mind as he did so. Indeed, he was +overwhelmed with care and trouble, and as he went along very gloomy +thoughts passed through his mind. Had he not better go to Australia, +or Vancouver's Island, or--? I will not name the places which the +poor fellow suggested to himself as possible terminations of the long +journeys which he might not improbably be called upon to take. That +very day, just before the Dales had come in, he had received a second +letter from his darling Amelia, written very closely upon the heels +of the first. Why had he not answered her? Was he ill? Was he untrue? +No; she would not believe that, and therefore fell back upon the +probability of his illness. If it was so, she would rush down to +see him. Nothing on earth should keep her from the bedside of her +betrothed. If she did not get an answer from her beloved John by +return of post, she would be down with him at Guestwick by the +express train. Here was a position for such a young man as John +Eames! And of Amelia Roper we may say that she was a young woman who +would not give up her game, as long as the least chance remained of +her winning it. "I must go somewhere," John said to himself, as he +put on his slouched hat and wandered forth through the back streets +of Guestwick. What would his mother say when she heard of Amelia +Roper? What would she say when she saw her? + +He walked away towards the Manor, so that he might roam about the +Guestwick woods in solitude. There was a path with a stile, leading +off from the high road, about half a mile beyond the lodges through +which the Dales had ridden up to the house, and by this path John +Eames turned in, and went away till he had left the Manor house +behind him, and was in the centre of the Guestwick woods. He knew +the whole ground well, having roamed there ever since he was first +allowed to go forth upon his walks alone. He had thought of Lily Dale +by the hour together, as he had lost himself among the oak-trees; but +in those former days he had thought of her with some pleasure. Now he +could only think of her as of one gone from him for ever; and then +he had also to think of her whom he had taken to himself in Lily's +place. + +Young men, very young men,--men so young that it may be almost a +question whether or no they have as yet reached their manhood,--are +more inclined to be earnest and thoughtful when alone than they ever +are when with others, even though those others be their elders. I +fancy that, as we grow old ourselves, we are apt to forget that it +was so with us; and, forgetting it, we do not believe that it is +so with our children. We constantly talk of the thoughtlessness of +youth. I do not know whether we might not more appropriately speak of +its thoughtfulness. It is, however, no doubt, true that thought will +not at once produce wisdom. It may almost be a question whether such +wisdom as many of us have in our mature years has not come from the +dying out of the power of temptation, rather than as the results of +thought and resolution. Men, full fledged and at their work, are, for +the most part, too busy for much thought; but lads, on whom the work +of the world has not yet fallen with all its pressure,--they have +time for thinking. + +And thus John Eames was thoughtful. They who knew him best accounted +him to be a gay, good-hearted, somewhat reckless young man, open to +temptation, but also open to good impressions; as to whom no great +success could be predicated, but of whom his friends might fairly +hope that he might so live as to bring upon them no disgrace and +not much trouble. But, above all things, they would have called him +thoughtless. In so calling him, they judged him wrong. He was ever +thinking,--thinking much of the world as it appeared to him, and of +himself as he appeared to the world; and thinking, also, of things +beyond the world. What was to be his fate here and hereafter? Lily +Dale was gone from him, and Amelia Roper was hanging round his neck +like a millstone! What, under such circumstances, was to be his fate +here and hereafter? + +We may say that the difficulties in his way were not as yet very +great. As to Lily, indeed, he had no room for hope; but, then, +his love for Lily had, perhaps, been a sentiment rather than a +passion. Most young men have to go through that disappointment, +and are enabled to bear it without much injury to their prospects +or happiness. And in after-life the remembrance of such love is a +blessing rather than a curse, enabling the possessor of it to feel +that in those early days there was something within him of which he +had no cause to be ashamed. I do not pity John Eames much in regard +to Lily Dale. And then, as to Amelia Roper,--had he achieved but a +tithe of that lady's experience in the world, or possessed a quarter +of her audacity, surely such a difficulty as that need not have stood +much in his way! What could Amelia do to him if he fairly told her +that he was not minded to marry her? In very truth he had never +promised to do so. He was in no way bound to her, not even by honour. +Honour, indeed, with such as her! But men are cowards before women +until they become tyrants; and are easy dupes, till of a sudden they +recognize the fact that it is pleasanter to be the victimizer than +the victim,--and as easy. There are men, indeed, who never learn the +latter lesson. + +But, though the cause for fear was so slight, poor John Eames was +thoroughly afraid. Little things which, in connection with so deep +a sorrow as his, it is almost ridiculous to mention, added to his +embarrassments, and made an escape from them seem to him to be +impossible. He could not return to London without going to Burton +Crescent, because his clothes were there, and because he owed to Mrs. +Roper some small sum of money which on his return to London he would +not have immediately in his pocket. He must therefore meet Amelia, +and he knew that he had not the courage to tell a girl, face to face, +that he did not love her, after he had been once induced to say that +he did do so. His boldest conception did not go beyond the writing +of a letter in which he would renounce her, and removing himself +altogether from that quarter of the town in which Burton Crescent was +situated. But then about his clothes, and that debt of his? And what +if Amelia should in the meantime come down to Guestwick and claim +him? Could he in his mother's presence declare that she had no right +to make such claim? The difficulties, in truth, were not very great, +but they were too heavy for that poor young clerk from the Income-tax +Office. + +You will declare that he must have been a fool and a coward. Yet +he could read and understand Shakspeare. He knew much,--by far too +much,--of Byron's poetry by heart. He was a deep critic, often +writing down his criticisms in a lengthy journal which he kept. He +could write quickly, and with understanding; and I may declare that +men at his office had already ascertained that he was no fool. He +knew his business, and could do it,--as many men failed to do who +were much less foolish before the world. And as to that matter of +cowardice, he would have thought it the greatest blessing in the +world to be shut up in a room with Crosbie, having permission to +fight with him till one of them should have been brought by stress +of battle to give up his claim to Lily Dale. Eames was no coward. He +feared no man on earth. But he was terribly afraid of Amelia Roper. + +He wandered about through the old Manor woods very ill at ease. The +post from Guestwick went out at seven, and he must at once make up +his mind whether or no he would write to Amelia on that day. He must +also make up his mind as to what he would say to her. He felt that he +should at least answer her letter, let his answer be what it might. +Should he promise to marry her,--say, in ten or twelve years' time? +Should he tell her that he was a blighted being, unfit for love, and +with humility entreat of her that he might be excused? Or should he +write to her mother, telling her that Burton Crescent would not suit +him any longer, promising her to send the balance on receipt of his +next payment, and asking her to send his clothes in a bundle to the +Income-tax Office? Or should he go home to his own mother, and boldly +tell it all to her? + +He at last resolved that he must write the letter, and as he composed +it in his mind he sat himself down beneath an old tree which stood on +a spot at which many of the forest tracks met and crossed each other. +The letter, as he framed it here, was not a bad letter, if only he +could have got it written and posted. Every word of it he chose with +precision, and in his mind he emphasized every expression which told +his mind clearly and justified his purpose. "He acknowledged himself +to have been wrong in misleading his correspondent, and allowing her +to imagine that she possessed his heart. He had not a heart at her +disposal. He had been weak not to write to her before, having been +deterred from doing so by the fear of giving her pain; but now he +felt that he was bound in honour to tell her the truth. Having +so told her, he would not return to Burton Crescent, if it would +pain her to see him there. He would always have a deep regard for +her,"--Oh, Johnny!--"and would hope anxiously that her welfare in +life might be complete." That was the letter, as he wrote it on the +tablets of his mind under the tree; but the getting it put on to +paper was a task, as he knew, of greater difficulty. Then, as he +repeated it to himself, he fell asleep. + +"Young man," said a voice in his ears as he slept. At first the voice +spoke as a voice from his dream without waking him, but when it was +repeated, he sat up and saw that a stout gentleman was standing over +him. For a moment he did not know where he was, or how he had come +there; nor could he recollect, as he saw the trees about him, how +long he had been in the wood. But he knew the stout gentleman well +enough, though he had not seen him for more than two years. "Young +man," said the voice, "if you want to catch rheumatism, that's the +way to do it. Why, it's young Eames, isn't it?" + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Why, it's young Eames."] + + +"Yes, my lord," said Johnny, raising himself up so that he was now +sitting, instead of lying, as he looked up into the earl's rosy face. + +"I knew your father, and a very good man he was; only he shouldn't +have taken to farming. People think they can farm without learning +the trade, but that's a very great mistake. I can farm, because I've +learned it. Don't you think you'd better get up?" Whereupon Johnny +raised himself to his feet. "Not but what you're very welcome to lie +there if you like it. Only, in October, you know--" + +"I'm afraid I'm trespassing, my lord," said Eames. "I came in off the +path, and--" + +"You're welcome; you're very welcome. If you'll come up to the house, +I'll give you some luncheon." This hospitable offer, however, Johnny +declined, alleging that it was late, and that he was going home to +dinner. + +"Come along," said the earl. "You can't go any shorter way than by +the house. Dear, dear, how well I remember your father. He was a much +cleverer man than I am,--very much; but he didn't know how to send a +beast to market any better than a child. By-the-by, they have put you +into a public office, haven't they?" + +"Yes, my lord." + +"And a very good thing, too,--a very good thing, indeed. But why were +you asleep in the wood? It isn't warm, you know. I call it rather +cold." And the earl stopped, and looked at him, scrutinizing him, as +though resolved to inquire into so deep a mystery. + +"I was taking a walk, and thinking of something, I sat down." + +"Leave of absence, I suppose?" + +"Yes, my lord." + +"Have you got into trouble? You look as though you were in trouble. +Your poor father used to be in trouble." + +"I haven't taken to farming," said Johnny, with an attempt at a +smile. + +"Ha, ha, ha,--quite right. No, don't take to farming. Unless you +learn it, you know, you might just as well take to shoemaking;--just +the same. You haven't got into trouble, then; eh?" + +"No, my lord, not particularly." + +"Not particularly! I know very well that young men do get into +trouble when they get up to London. If you want any--any advice, or +that sort of thing, you may come to me; for I knew your father well. +Do you like shooting?" + +"I never did shoot anything." + +"Well, perhaps better not. To tell the truth, I'm not very fond of +young men who take to shooting without having anything to shoot at. +By-the-by, now I think of it, I'll send your mother some game." It +may, however, here be fair to mention that game very often came +from Guestwick Manor to Mrs. Eames. "And look here, cold pheasant +for breakfast is the best thing I know of. Pheasants at dinner are +rubbish,--mere rubbish. Here we are at the house. Will you come in +and have a glass of wine?" + +But this John Eames declined, pleasing the earl better by doing +so than he would have done by accepting it. Not that the lord was +inhospitable or insincere in his offer, but he preferred that such a +one as John Eames should receive his proffered familiarity without +too much immediate assurance. He felt that Eames was a little in awe +of his companion's rank, and he liked him the better for it. He liked +him the better for it, and was a man apt to remember his likings. "If +you won't come in, good-by," and he gave Johnny his hand. + +"Good evening, my lord," said Johnny. + +"And remember this; it is the deuce of a thing to have rheumatism in +your loins. I wouldn't go to sleep under a tree, if I were you,--not +in October. But you're always welcome to go anywhere about the +place." + +"Thank you, my lord." + +"And if you should take to shooting,--but I dare say you won't; and +if you come to trouble, and want advice, or that sort of thing, write +to me. I knew your father well." And so they parted, Eames returning +on his road towards Guestwick. + +For some reason, which he could not define, he felt better after +his interview with the earl. There had been something about the fat, +good-natured, sensible old man, which had cheered him, in spite of +his sorrow. "Pheasants for dinner are rubbish,--mere rubbish," he +said to himself, over and over again, as he went along the road; +and they were the first words which he spoke to his mother, after +entering the house. + +"I wish we had some of that sort of rubbish," said she. + +"So you will, to-morrow;" and then he described to her his interview. + +"The earl was, at any rate, quite right about lying upon the ground. +I wonder you can be so foolish. And he is right about your poor +father too. But you have got to change your boots; and we shall be +ready for dinner almost immediately." + +But Johnny Eames, before he sat down to dinner, did write his letter +to Amelia, and did go out to post it with his own hands,--much to his +mother's annoyance. But the letter would not get itself written in +that strong and appropriate language which had come to him as he was +roaming through the woods. It was a bald letter, and somewhat +cowardly withal. + + + DEAR AMELIA [the letter ran],--I have received both of + yours; and did not answer the first because I felt that + there was a difficulty in expressing what I wish to say; + and now it will be better that you should allow the + subject to stand over till I am back in town. I shall be + there in ten days from this. I have been quite well, and + am so; but of course am much obliged by your inquiries. + I know you will think this very cold; but when I tell you + everything, you will agree with me that it is best. If I + were to marry, I know that we should be unhappy, because + we should have nothing to live on. If I have ever said + anything to deceive you, I beg your pardon with all my + heart;--but perhaps it will be better to let the subject + remain till we shall meet again in London. + + Believe me to be + Your most sincere friend, + And I may say admirer,--[Oh, John Eames!] + + JOHN EAMES. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +THE LAST DAY. + + +Last days are wretched days; and so are last moments wretched +moments. It is not the fact that the parting is coming which makes +these days and moments so wretched, but the feeling that something +special is expected from them, which something they always fail to +produce. Spasmodic periods of pleasure, of affection, or even of +study, seldom fail of disappointment when premeditated. When last +days are coming, they should be allowed to come and to glide away +without special notice or mention. And as for last moments, there +should be none such. Let them ever be ended, even before their +presence has been acknowledged. + +But Lily Dale had not yet been taught these lessons by her world's +experience, and she expected that this sweetest cup of which she had +ever drank should go on being sweet--sweeter and still sweeter--as +long as she could press it to her lips. How the dregs had come to +mix themselves with the last drops we have already seen; and on that +same day--on the Monday evening--the bitter task still remained; for +Crosbie, as they walked about through the gardens in the evening, +found other subjects on which he thought it necessary to give her +sundry hints, intended for her edification, which came to her with +much of the savour of a lecture. A girl, when she is thoroughly in +love, as surely was the case with Lily, likes to receive hints as +to her future life from the man to whom she is devoted; but she +would, I think, prefer that such hints should be short, and that the +lesson should be implied rather than declared;--that they should, in +fact, be hints and not lectures. Crosbie, who was a man of tact, who +understood the world and had been dealing with women for many years, +no doubt understood all this as well as we do. But he had come to +entertain a notion that he was an injured man, that he was giving +very much more than was to be given to him, and that therefore he +was entitled to take liberties which might not fairly be within +the reach of another lover. My reader will say that in all this he +was ungenerous. Well; he was ungenerous. I do not know that I have +ever said that much generosity was to be expected from him. He had +some principles of right and wrong under the guidance of which it +may perhaps be hoped that he will not go utterly astray; but his +past life had not been of a nature to make him unselfish. He was +ungenerous, and Lily felt it, though she would not acknowledge it +even to herself. She had been very open with him,--acknowledging the +depth of her love for him; telling him that he was now all in all to +her; that life without his love would be impossible to her: and in a +certain way he took advantage of these strong avowals, treating her +as though she were a creature utterly in his power;--as indeed she +was. + +On that evening he said no more of Johnny Eames, but said much of +the difficulty of a man establishing himself with a wife in London, +who had nothing but his own moderate income on which to rely. He did +not in so many words tell her that if her friends could make up for +her two or three thousand pounds,--that being much less than he had +expected when he first made his offer,--this terrible difficulty +would be removed; but he said enough to make her understand that the +world would call him very imprudent in taking a girl who had nothing. +And as he spoke of these things, Lily remaining for the most part +silent as he did so, it occurred to him that he might talk to her +freely of his past life,--more freely than he would have done had he +feared that he might lose her by any such disclosures. He had no fear +of losing her. Alas! might it not be possible that he had some such +hope! + +He told her that his past life had been expensive; that, though he +was not in debt, he had lived up to every shilling that he had, and +that he had contracted habits of expenditure which it would be almost +impossible for him to lay aside at a day's notice. Then he spoke of +entanglements, meaning, as he did so, to explain more fully what were +their nature,--but not daring to do so when he found that Lily was +altogether in the dark as to what he meant. No; he was not a generous +man,--a very ungenerous man. And yet, during all this time, he +thought that he was guided by principle. "It will be best that I +should be honest with her," he said to himself. And then he told +himself, scores of times, that when making his offer he had expected, +and had a right to expect, that she would not be penniless. Under +those circumstances he had done the best he could for her--offering +her his heart honestly, with a quick readiness to make her his own +at the earliest day that she might think possible. Had he been more +cautious, he need not have fallen into this cruel mistake; but she, +at any rate, could not quarrel with him for his imprudence. And +still he was determined to stand by his engagement and willing to +marry her, although, as he the more thought of it, he felt the more +strongly that he would thereby ruin his prospects, and thrust beyond +his own reach all those good things which he had hoped to win. As +he continued to talk to her he gave himself special credit for his +generosity, and felt that he was only doing his duty by her in +pointing out to her all the difficulties which lay in the way of +their marriage. + +At first Lily said some words intended to convey an assurance that +she would be the most economical wife that man ever had, but she soon +ceased from such promises as these. Her perceptions were keen, and +she discovered that the difficulties of which he was afraid were +those which he must overcome before his marriage, not any which might +be expected to overwhelm him after it. "A cheap and nasty menage +would be my aversion," he said to her. "It is that which I want to +avoid,--chiefly for your sake." Then she promised him that she would +wait patiently for his time--"even though it should be for seven +years," she said, looking up into his face and trying to find there +some sign of approbation. "That's nonsense," he said. "People are +not patriarchs now-a-days. I suppose we shall have to wait two years. +And that's a deuce of a bore,--a terrible bore." And there was that +in the tone of his voice which grated on her feelings, and made her +wretched for the moment. + +As he parted with her for the night on her own side of the little +bridge which led from one garden to the other, he put his arm round +her to embrace her and kiss her, as he had often done at that spot. +It had become a habit with them to say their evening farewells there, +and the secluded little nook amongst the shrubs was inexpressibly +dear to Lily. But on the present occasion she made an effort to avoid +his caress. She turned from him--very slightly, but it was enough, +and he felt it. "Are you angry with me?" he said. "Oh, no! Adolphus; +how can I be angry with you?" And then she turned to him and gave +him her face to kiss almost before he had again asked for it. "He +shall not at any rate think that I am unkind to him,--and it will not +matter now," she said to herself, as she walked slowly across the +lawn, in the dark, up to her mother's drawing-room window. + +"Well, dearest," said Mrs. Dale, who was there alone; "did the beards +wag merry in the Great Hall this evening?" That was a joke with them, +for neither Crosbie nor Bernard Dale used a razor at his toilet. + +"Not specially merry. And I think it was my fault, for I have a +headache. Mamma, I believe I will go at once to bed." + +"My darling, is there anything wrong?" + +"Nothing, mamma. But we had such a long ride; and then Adolphus is +going, and of course we have so much to say. To-morrow will be the +last day, for I shall only just see him on Wednesday morning; and as +I want to be well, if possible, I'll go to bed." And so she took her +candle and went. + +When Bell came up, Lily was still awake, but she begged her sister +not to disturb her. "Don't talk to me, Bell," she said. "I'm trying +to make myself quiet, and I half feel that I should get childish if +I went on talking. I have almost more to think of than I know how to +manage." And she strove, not altogether unsuccessfully, to speak with +a cheery tone, as though the cares which weighed upon her were not +unpleasant in their nature. Then her sister kissed her and left her +to her thoughts. + +And she had great matter for thinking; so great, that many hours +sounded in her ears from the clock on the stairs before she brought +her thoughts to a shape that satisfied herself. She did so bring them +at last, and then she slept. She did so bring them, toiling over her +work with tears that made her pillow wet, with heart-burning and +almost with heart-breaking, with much doubting, and many anxious, +eager inquiries within her own bosom as to that which she ought to +do, and that which she could endure to do. But at last her resolve +was taken, and then she slept. + +It had been agreed between them that Crosbie should come down to +the Small House on the next day after breakfast, and remain there +till the time came for riding. But Lily determined to alter this +arrangement, and accordingly put on her hat immediately after +breakfast, and posted herself at the bridge, so as to intercept her +lover as he came. He soon appeared with his friend Dale, and she at +once told him her purpose. + +"I want to have a talk with you, Adolphus, before you go in to mamma; +so come with me into the field." + +"All right," said he. + +"And Bernard can finish his cigar on the lawn. Mamma and Bell will +join him there." + +"All right," said Bernard. So they separated; and Crosbie went away +with Lily into the field where they had first learned to know each +other in those haymaking days. + +She did not say much till they were well away from the house; but +answered what words he chose to speak,--not knowing very well of what +he spoke. But when she considered that they had reached the proper +spot, she began very abruptly. + +"Adolphus," she said, "I have something to say to you,--something to +which you must listen very carefully." Then he looked at her, and at +once knew that she was in earnest. + +"This is the last day on which I could say it," she continued; "and +I am very glad that I have not let the last day go by without saying +it. I should not have known how to put it in a letter." + +"What is it, Lily?" + +"And I do not know that I can say it properly; but I hope that you +will not be hard upon me. Adolphus, if you wish that all this between +us should be over, I will consent." + +"Lily!" + +"I mean what I say. If you wish it, I will consent; and when I have +said so, proposing it myself, you may be quite sure that I shall +never blame you, if you take me at my word." + +"Are you tired of me, Lily?" + +"No. I shall never be tired of you,--never weary with loving you. I +did not wish to say so now; but I will answer your question boldly. +Tired of you! I fancy that a girl can never grow tired of her lover. +But I would sooner die in the struggle than be the cause of your +ruin. It would be better,--in every way better." + +"I have said nothing of being ruined." + +"But listen to me. I should not die if you left me,--not be utterly +broken-hearted. Nothing on earth can I ever love as I have loved you. +But I have a God and a Saviour that will be enough for me. I can +turn to them with content, if it be well that you should leave me. I +have gone to them, and--" But at this moment she could utter no more +words. She had broken down in her effort, losing her voice through +the strength of her emotion. As she did not choose that he should see +her overcome, she turned from him and walked away across the grass. + +Of course he followed her; but he was not so quick after her, but +that time had been given to her to recover herself. "It is true," +she said. "I have the strength of which I tell you. Though I have +given myself to you as your wife, I can bear to be divorced from +you now,--now. And, my love, though it may sound heartless, I would +sooner be so divorced from you, than cling to you as a log that must +drag you down under the water, and drown you in trouble and care. I +would;--indeed I would. If you go, of course that kind of thing is +over for me. But the world has more than that,--much more; and I +would make myself happy;--yes, my love, I would be happy. You need +not fear that." + +"But, Lily, why is all this said to me here to-day?" + +"Because it is my duty to say it. I understand all your position now, +though it is only now. It never flashed on me till yesterday. When +you proposed to me, you thought that I,--that I had some fortune." + +"Never mind that now, Lily." + +"But you did. I see it all now. I ought perhaps to have told you that +it was not so. There has been the mistake, and we are both sufferers. +But we need not make the suffering deeper than needs be. My love, you +are free,--from this moment. And even my heart shall not blame you +for accepting your freedom." + +"And are you afraid of poverty?" he asked her. + +"I am afraid of poverty for you. You and I have lived differently. +Luxuries, of which I know nothing, have been your daily comforts. I +tell you I can bear to part with you, but I cannot bear to become the +source of your unhappiness. Yes; I will bear it; and none shall dare +in my hearing to speak against you. I have brought you here to say +the word; nay, more than that,--to advise you to say it." + +He stood silent for a moment, during which he held her by the hand. +She was looking into his face, but he was looking away into the +clouds; striving to appear as though he was the master of the +occasion. But during those moments his mind was wracked with doubt. +What if he should take her at her word? Some few would say bitter +things against him, but such bitter things had been said against many +another man without harming him. Would it not be well for both if he +should take her at her word? She would recover and love again, as +other girls had done; and as for him, he would thus escape from the +ruin at which he had been gazing for the last week past. For it was +ruin,--utter ruin. He did love her; so he declared to himself. But +was he a man who ought to throw the world away for love? Such men +there were; but was he one of them? Could he be happy in that small +house, somewhere near the New Road, with five children and horrid +misgivings as to the baker's bill? Of all men living, was not he the +last that should have allowed himself to fall into such a trap? All +this passed through his mind as he turned his face up to the clouds +with a look that was intended to be grand and noble. + +"Speak to me, Adolphus, and say that it shall be so." + +Then his heart misgave him, and he lacked the courage to extricate +himself from his trouble; or, as he afterwards said to himself, he +had not the heart to do it. "If I understand you, rightly, Lily, all +this comes from no want of love on your own part?" + +"Want of love on my part? But you should not ask me that." + +"Until you tell me that there is such a want, I will agree to +no parting." Then he took her hand and put it within his arm. +"No, Lily; whatever may be our cares and troubles, we are bound +together,--indissolubly." + +"Are we?" said she; and as she spoke, her voice trembled, and her +hand shook. + +"Much too firmly for any such divorce as that. No, Lily, I claim the +right to tell you all my troubles; but I shall not let you go." + +"But, Adolphus--" and the hand on his arm was beginning to cling to +it again. + +"Adolphus," said he, "has got nothing more to say on that subject. He +exercises the right which he believes to be his own, and chooses to +retain the prize which he has won." + +She was now clinging to him in very truth. "Oh, my love!" she +said. "I do not know how to say it again. It is of you that I am +thinking;--of you, of you!" + +"I know you are; but you have misunderstood me a little; that's all." + +"Have I? Then listen to me again, once more, my heart's own darling, +my love, my husband, my lord! If I cannot be to you at once like +Ruth, and never cease from coming after you, my thoughts to you shall +be like those of Ruth:--if aught but death part thee and me, may God +do so to me and more also." Then she fell upon his breast and wept. + +He still hardly understood the depth of her character. He was not +himself deep enough to comprehend it all. But yet he was awed by her +great love, and exalted to a certain solemnity of feeling which for +the time made him rejoice in his late decision. For a few hours he +was minded to throw the world behind him, and wear this woman, as +such a woman should be worn,--as a comforter to him in all things, +and a strong shield against great troubles. "Lily," he said, "my own +Lily!" + +"Yes, your own, to take when you please, and leave untaken while you +please; and as much your own in one way as in the other." Then she +looked up again, and essayed to laugh as she did so. "You will think +I am frantic, but I am so happy. I don't care about your going now; +indeed I don't. There; you may go now, this minute, if you like it." +And she withdrew her hand from him. "I feel so differently from what +I have done for the last few days. I am so glad you have spoken to me +as you did. Of course I ought to bear all those things with you. But +I cannot be unhappy about it now. I wonder if I went to work and made +a lot of things, whether that would help?" + +"A set of shirts for me, for instance?" + +"I could do that, at any rate." + +"It may come to that yet, some of these days." + +"I pray God that it may." Then again she was serious, and the tears +came once more into her eyes. "I pray God that it may. To be of use +to you,--to work for you,--to do something for you that may have in +it some sober, earnest purport of usefulness;--that is what I want +above all things. I want to be with you at once that I may be of +service to you. Would that you and I were alone together, that I +might do everything for you. I sometimes think that a very poor man's +wife is the happiest, because she does do everything." + +"You shall do everything very soon," said he; and then they sauntered +along pleasantly through the morning hours, and when they again +appeared at Mrs. Dale's table, Mrs. Dale and Bell were astonished at +Lily's brightness. All her old ways had seemed to return to her, and +she made her little saucy speeches to Mr. Crosbie as she had used to +do when he was first becoming fascinated by her sweetness. "You know +that you'll be such a swell when you get to that countess's house +that you'll forget all about Allington." + +"Of course I shall," said he. + +"And the paper you write upon will be all over coronets,--that is, if +ever you do write. Perhaps you will to Bernard some day, just to show +that you are staying at a castle." + +"You certainly don't deserve that he should write to you," said Mrs. +Dale. + +"I don't expect it for a moment,--not till he gets back to London +and finds that he has nothing else to do at his office. But I should +so like to see how you and Lady Julia get on together. It was quite +clear that she regarded you as an ogre; didn't she, Bell?" + +"So many people are ogres to Lady Julia," said Bell. + +"I believe Lady Julia to be a very good woman," said Mrs. Dale, "and +I won't have her abused." + +"Particularly before poor Bernard, who is her pet nephew," said Lily. +"I dare say Adolphus will become a pet too when she has been a week +with him at Courcy Castle. Do try and cut Bernard out." + +From all which Mrs. Dale learned that some care which had sat heavy +on Lily's heart was now lightened, if not altogether removed. She +had asked no questions of her daughter, but she had perceived during +the past few days that Lily was in trouble, and she knew that such +trouble had arisen from her engagement. She had asked no questions, +but of course she had been told what was Mr. Crosbie's income, and +had been made to understand that it was not to be considered as +amply sufficient for all the wants of matrimony. There was little +difficulty in guessing what was the source of Lily's care, and as +little in now perceiving that something had been said between them by +which that care had been relieved. + +After that they all rode, and the afternoon went by pleasantly. It +was the last day indeed, but Lily had determined that she would not +be sad. She had told him that he might go now, and that she would +not be discontented at his going. She knew that the morrow would be +very blank to her; but she struggled to live up to the spirit of her +promise, and she succeeded. They all dined at the Great House, even +Mrs. Dale doing so upon this occasion. When they had come in from the +garden in the evening, Crosbie talked more to Mrs. Dale than he did +even to Lily, while Lily sat a little distant, listening with all her +ears, sometimes saying a low-toned word, and happy beyond expression +in the feeling that her mother and her lover should understand each +other. And it must be understood that Crosbie at this time was fully +determined to conquer the difficulties of which he had thought so +much, and to fix the earliest day which might be possible for his +marriage. The solemnity of that meeting in the field still hung about +him, and gave to his present feelings a manliness and a truth of +purpose which were too generally wanting to them. If only those +feelings would last! But now he talked to Mrs. Dale about her +daughter, and about their future prospects, in a tone which he could +not have used had not his mind for the time been true to her. He +had never spoken so freely to Lily's mother, and at no time had Mrs. +Dale felt for him so much of a mother's love. He apologized for the +necessity of some delay, arguing that he could not endure to see his +young wife without the comfort of a home of her own, and that he +was now, as he always had been, afraid of incurring debt. Mrs. Dale +disliked waiting engagements,--as do all mothers,--but she could not +answer unkindly to such pleading as this. + +"Lily is so very young," she said, "that she may well wait for a year +or so." + +"For seven years," said Lily, jumping up and whispering into her +mother's ear. "I shall hardly be six-and-twenty then, which is not at +all too old." + +And so the evening passed away very pleasantly. + +"God bless you, Adolphus!" Mrs. Dale said to him, as she parted with +him at her own door. It was the first time that she had called him by +his Christian name. "I hope you understand how much we are trusting +to you." + +"I do,--I do," said he, as he pressed her hand. Then as he walked +back alone, he swore to himself, binding himself to the oath with +all his heart, that he would be true to those women,--both to the +daughter and to the mother; for the solemnity of the morning was +still upon him. + +He was to start the next morning before eight, Bernard having +undertaken to drive him over to the railway at Guestwick. The +breakfast was on the table shortly after seven; and just as the two +men had come down, Lily entered the room, with her hat and shawl. "I +said I would be in to pour out your tea," said she; and then she sat +herself down over against the teapot. + +It was a silent meal, for people do not know what to say in those +last minutes. And Bernard, too, was there; proving how true is the +adage which says, that two are company, but that three are not. I +think that Lily was wrong to come up on that last morning; but she +would not hear of letting him start without seeing him, when her +lover had begged her not to put herself to so much trouble. Trouble! +Would she not have sat up all night to see even the last of the top +of his hat? + +Then Bernard, muttering something about the horse, went away. "I have +only one minute to speak to you," said she, jumping up, "and I have +been thinking all night of what I had to say. It is so easy to think, +and so hard to speak." + +"My darling, I understand it all." + +"But you must understand this, that I will never distrust you. I +will never ask you to give me up again, or say that I could be happy +without you. I could not live without you; that is, without the +knowledge that you are mine. But I will never be impatient, never. +Pray, pray believe me! Nothing shall make me distrust you." + +"Dearest Lily, I will endeavour to give you no cause." + +"I know you will not; but I specially wanted to tell you that. And +you will write,--very soon?" + +"Directly I get there." + +"And as often as you can. But I won't bother you; only your letters +will make me so happy. I shall be so proud when they come to me. I +shall be afraid of writing too much to you, for fear I should tire +you." + +"You will never do that." + +"Shall I not? But you must write first, you know. If you could only +understand how I shall live upon your letters! And now good-by. There +are the wheels. God bless you, my own, my own!" And she gave herself +up into his arms, as she had given herself up into his heart. + +She stood at the door as the two men got into the gig, and, as it +passed down through the gate, she hurried out upon the terrace, from +whence she could see it for a few yards down the lane. Then she ran +from the terrace to the gate, and, hurrying through the gate, made +her way into the churchyard, from the farther corner of which she +could see the heads of the two men till they had made the turn into +the main road beyond the parsonage. There she remained till the very +sound of the wheels no longer reached her ears, stretching her eyes +in the direction they had taken. Then she turned round slowly and +made her way out at the churchyard gate, which opened on to the road +close to the front door of the Small House. + +"I should like to punch his head," said Hopkins, the gardener, to +himself, as he saw the gig driven away and saw Lily trip after it, +that she might see the last of him whom it carried. "And I wouldn't +think nothing of doing it; no more I wouldn't," Hopkins added in his +soliloquy. It was generally thought about the place that Miss Lily +was Hopkins's favourite; though he showed it chiefly by snubbing her +more frequently than he snubbed her sister. + +Lily had evidently intended to return home through the front door; +but she changed her purpose before she reached the house, and made +her way slowly back through the churchyard, and by the gate of the +Great House, and by the garden at the back of it, till she crossed +the little bridge. But on the bridge she rested awhile, leaning +against the railing as she had often leant with him, and thinking of +all that had passed since that July day on which she had first met +him. On no spot had he so often told her of his love as on this, and +nowhere had she so eagerly sworn to him that she would be his own +dutiful loving wife. + +"And by God's help so I will," she said to herself, as she walked +firmly up to the house. "He has gone, mamma," she said, as she +entered the breakfast-room. "And now we'll go back to our work-a-day +ways; it has been all Sunday for me for the last six weeks." + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +MR. CROSBIE MEETS AN OLD CLERGYMAN ON HIS WAY TO COURCY CASTLE. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +For the first mile or two of their journey Crosbie and Bernard Dale +sat, for the most part, silent in their gig. Lily, as she ran down +to the churchyard corner and stood there looking after them with +her loving eyes, had not been seen by them. But the spirit of her +devotion was still strong upon them both, and they felt that it +would not be well to strike at once into any ordinary topic of +conversation. And, moreover, we may presume that Crosbie did feel +much at thus parting from such a girl as Lily Dale, with whom he +had lived in close intercourse for the last six weeks, and whom he +loved with all his heart,--with all the heart that he had for such +purposes. In those doubts as to his marriage which had troubled him +he had never expressed to himself any disapproval of Lily. He had not +taught himself to think that she was other than he would have her be, +that he might thus give himself an excuse for parting from her. Not +as yet, at any rate, had he had recourse to that practice, so common +with men who wish to free themselves from the bonds with which they +have permitted themselves to be bound. Lily had been too sweet to +his eyes, to his touch, to all his senses for that. He had enjoyed +too keenly the pleasure of being with her, and of hearing her tell +him that she loved him, to allow of his being personally tired of +her. He had not been so spoilt by his club life but that he had +taken exquisite pleasure in all her nice country ways, and soft, +kind-hearted, womanly humour. He was by no means tired of Lily. +Better than any of his London pleasures was this pleasure of making +love in the green fields to Lily Dale. It was the consequences of +it that affrighted him. Babies with their belongings would come; +and dull evenings, over a dull fire, or else the pining grief of +a disappointed woman. He would be driven to be careful as to his +clothes, because the ordering of a new coat would entail a serious +expenditure. He could go no more among countesses and their +daughters, because it would be out of the question that his wife +should visit at their houses. All the victories that he had ever won +must be given up. He was thinking of this even while the gig was +going round the corner near the parsonage house, and while Lily's +eyes were still blessed with some view of his departing back; but he +was thinking, also, that moment, that there might be other victory +in store for him; that it might be possible for him to learn to +like that fireside, even though babies should be there, and a woman +opposite to him intent on baby cares. He was struggling as best he +knew how; for the solemnity which Lily had imparted to him had not +yet vanished from his spirit. + +"I hope that, upon the whole, you feel contented with your visit?" +said Bernard to him, at last. + +"Contented? Of course I do." + +"That is easily said; and civility to me, perhaps, demands as much. +But I know that you have, to some extent, been disappointed." + +"Well; yes. I have been disappointed as regards money. It is of no +use denying it." + +"I should not mention it now, only that I want to know that you +exonerate me." + +"I have never blamed you;--neither you, nor anybody else; unless, +indeed, it has been myself." + +"You mean that you regret what you've done?" + +"No; I don't mean that. I am too devotedly attached to that dear girl +whom we have just left to feel any regret that I have engaged myself +to her. But I do think that had I managed better with your uncle +things might have been different." + +"I doubt it. Indeed I know that it is not so; and can assure you +that you need not make yourself unhappy on that score. I had +thought, as you well know, that he would have done something for +Lily;--something, though not as much as he always intended to do for +Bell. But you may be sure of this; that he had made up his mind as to +what he would do. Nothing that you or I could have said would have +changed him." + +"Well; we won't say anything more about it," said Crosbie. + +Then they went on again in silence, and arrived at Guestwick in ample +time for the train. + +"Let me know as soon as you get to town," said Crosbie. + +"Oh, of course. I'll write to you before that." + +And so they parted. As Dale turned and went, Crosbie felt that he +liked him less than he had done before; and Bernard, also, as he was +driving him, came to the conclusion that Crosbie would not be so +good a fellow as a brother-in-law as he had been as a chance friend. +"He'll give us trouble, in some way; and I'm sorry that I brought him +down." That was Dale's inward conviction in the matter. + +Crosbie's way from Guestwick lay, by railway, to Barchester, the +cathedral city lying in the next county, from whence he purposed to +have himself conveyed over to Courcy. There had, in truth, been no +cause for his very early departure, as he was aware that all arrivals +at country houses should take place at some hour not much previous +to dinner. He had been determined to be so soon upon the road by a +feeling that it would be well for him to get over those last hours. +Thus he found himself in Barchester at eleven o'clock, with nothing +on his hands to do; and, having nothing else to do, he went to +church. There was a full service at the cathedral, and as the verger +marshalled him up to one of the empty stalls, a little spare old man +was beginning to chant the Litany. "I did not mean to fall in for all +this," said Crosbie, to himself, as he settled himself with his arms +on the cushion. But the peculiar charm of that old man's voice soon +attracted him;--a voice that, though tremulous, was yet strong; and +he ceased to regret the saint whose honour and glory had occasioned +the length of that day's special service. + +"And who is the old gentleman who chanted the Litany?" he asked +the verger afterwards, as he allowed himself to be shown round the +monuments of the cathedral. + +"That's our precentor, sir; Mr. Harding. You must have heard of Mr. +Harding." But Crosbie, with a full apology, confessed his ignorance. + +"Well, sir; he's pretty well known too, tho' he is so shy like. He's +father-in-law to our dean, sir; and father-in-law to Archdeacon +Grantly also." + +"His daughters have all gone into the profession, then?" + +"Why, yes; but Miss Eleanor--for I remember her before she was +married at all,--when they lived at the hospital--" + +"At the hospital?" + +"Hiram's hospital, sir. He was warden, you know. You should go and +see the hospital, sir, if you never was there before. Well, Miss +Eleanor,--that was his youngest,--she married Mr. Bold as her first. +But now she's the dean's lady." + +"Oh; the dean's lady, is she?" + +"Yes, indeed. And what do you think, sir? Mr. Harding might have been +dean himself if he'd liked. They did offer it to him." + +"And he refused it?" + +"Indeed he did, sir." + +"Nolo decanari. I never heard of that before. What made him so +modest?" + +"Just that, sir; because he is modest. He's past his seventy +now,--ever so much; but he's just as modest as a young girl. A deal +more modest than some of them. To see him and his granddaughter +together!" + +"And who is his granddaughter?" + +"Why, Lady Dumbello, as will be the Marchioness of Hartletop." + +"I know Lady Dumbello," said Crosbie; not meaning, however, to boast +to the verger of his noble acquaintance. + +"Oh, do you, sir?" said the man, unconsciously touching his hat at +this sign of greatness in the stranger; though in truth he had no +love for her ladyship. "Perhaps you're going to be one of the party +at Courcy Castle." + +"Well, I believe I am." + +"You'll find her ladyship there before you. She lunched with her aunt +at the deanery as she went through, yesterday; finding it too much +trouble to go out to her father's, at Plumstead. Her father is the +archdeacon, you know. They do say,--but her ladyship is your friend!" + +"No friend at all; only a very slight acquaintance. She's quite as +much above my line as she is above her father's." + +"Well, she is above them all. They say she would hardly as much as +speak to the old gentleman." + +"What, her father?" + +"No, Mr. Harding; he that chanted the Litany just now. There he is, +sir, coming out of the deanery." + +They were now standing at the door leading out from one of the +transepts, and Mr. Harding passed them as they were speaking +together. He was a little, withered, shambling old man, with bent +shoulders, dressed in knee-breeches and long black gaiters, which +hung rather loosely about his poor old legs,--rubbing his hands one +over the other as he went. And yet he walked quickly; not tottering +as he walked, but with an uncertain, doubtful step. The verger, as +Mr. Harding passed, put his hand to his head, and Crosbie also raised +his hat. Whereupon Mr. Harding raised his, and bowed, and turned +round as though he were about to speak. Crosbie felt that he had +never seen a face on which traits of human kindness were more plainly +written. But the old man did not speak. He turned his body half +round, and then shambled back, as though ashamed of his intention, +and passed on. + +"He is of that sort that they make the angels of," said the verger. +"But they can't make many if they want them all as good as he is. +I'm much obliged to you, sir." And he pocketed the half-crown which +Crosbie gave him. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "He is of that sort that they make the angels of," +said the verger.] + + +"So that's Lady Dumbello's grandfather," said Crosbie, to himself, +as he walked slowly round the close towards the hospital, by the +path which the verger had shown him. He had no great love for Lady +Dumbello, who had dared to snub him,--even him. "They may make an +angel of the old gentleman," he continued to say; "but they'll never +succeed in that way with the granddaughter." + +He sauntered slowly on over a little bridge; and at the gate of the +hospital he again came upon Mr. Harding. "I was going to venture in," +said he, "to look at the place. But perhaps I shall be intruding?" + +"No, no; by no means," said Mr. Harding. "Pray come in. I cannot say +that I am just at home here. I do not live here,--not now. But I know +the ways of the place well, and can make you welcome. That's the +warden's house. Perhaps we won't go in so early in the day, as the +lady has a very large family. An excellent lady, and a dear friend of +mine,--as is her husband." + +"And he is warden, you say?" + +"Yes, warden of the hospital. You see the house, sir. Very pretty, +isn't it? Very pretty. To my idea it's the prettiest built house I +ever saw." + +"I won't go quite so far as that," said Crosbie. + +"But you would if you'd lived there twelve years, as I did. I lived +in that house twelve years, and I don't think there's so sweet a spot +on the earth's surface. Did you ever see such turf as that?" + +"Very nice indeed," said Crosbie, who began to make a comparison +with Mrs. Dale's turf at the Small House, and to determine that the +Allington turf was better than that of the hospital. + +"I had that turf laid down myself. There were borders there when I +first came, with hollyhocks, and those sort of things. The turf was +an improvement." + +"There's no doubt of that, I should say." + +"The turf was an improvement, certainly. And I planted those shrubs, +too. There isn't such a Portugal laurel as that in the county." + +"Were you warden here, sir?" And Crosbie, as he asked the question, +remembered that, in his very young days, he had heard of some +newspaper quarrel which had taken place about Hiram's hospital at +Barchester. + +"Yes, sir. I was warden here for twelve years. Dear, dear, dear! If +they had put any gentleman here that was not on friendly terms with +me it would have made me very unhappy,--very. But, as it is, I go in +and out just as I like; almost as much as I did before they-- But +they didn't turn me out. There were reasons which made it best that +I should resign." + +"And you live at the deanery now, Mr. Harding?" + +"Yes; I live at the deanery now. But I am not dean, you know. My +son-in-law, Dr. Arabin, is the dean. I have another daughter married +in the neighbourhood, and can truly say that my lines have fallen to +me in pleasant places." + +Then he took Crosbie in among the old men, into all of whose rooms +he went. It was an almshouse for aged men of the city, and before +Crosbie had left him Mr. Harding had explained all the circumstances +of the hospital, and of the way in which he had left it. "I didn't +like going, you know; I thought it would break my heart. But I could +not stay when they said such things as that;--I couldn't stay. And, +what is more, I should have been wrong to stay. I see it all now. +But when I went out under that arch, Mr. Crosbie, leaning on my +daughter's arm, I thought that my heart would have broken." And the +tears even now ran down the old man's cheeks as he spoke. + +It was a long story, and it need not be repeated here. And there was +no reason why it should have been told to Mr. Crosbie, other than +this,--that Mr. Harding was a fond garrulous old man, who loved to +indulge his mind in reminiscences of the past. But this was remarked +by Crosbie; that, in telling his story, no word was said by Mr. +Harding injurious to any one. And yet he had been injured,--injured +very deeply. "It was all for the best," he said at last; "especially +as the happiness has not been denied to me of making myself at home +at the old place. I would take you into the house, which is very +comfortable,--very; only it is not always convenient early in the +day, where there's a large family." In hearing which Crosbie was +again made to think of his own future home and limited income. + +He had told the old clergyman who he was, and that he was on his way +to Courcy. "Where, as I understand, I shall meet a granddaughter of +yours." + +"Yes, yes; she is my grandchild. She and I have got into different +walks of life now, so that I don't see much of her. They tell me that +she does her duty well in that sphere of life to which it has pleased +God to call her." + +"That depends," thought Crosbie, "on what the duties of a viscountess +may be supposed to be." But he wished his new friend good-by, without +saying anything further as to Lady Dumbello, and, at about six +o'clock in the evening, had himself driven up under the portico of +Courcy Castle. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +COURCY CASTLE. + + +Courcy Castle was very full. In the first place, there was a great +gathering there of all the Courcy family. The earl was there,--and +the countess, of course. At this period of the year Lady De Courcy +was always at home; but the presence of the earl himself had +heretofore been by no means so certain. He was a man who had been +much given to royal visitings and attendances, to parties in the +Highlands, to--no doubt necessary--prolongations of the London +season, to sojournings at certain German watering-places, convenient, +probably, in order that he might study the ways and ceremonies of +German Courts,--and to various other absences from home, occasioned +by a close pursuit of his own special aims in life; for the Earl +De Courcy had been a great courtier. But of late gout, lumbago, +and perhaps also some diminution in his powers of making himself +generally agreeable, had reconciled him to domestic duties, and the +earl spent much of his time at home. The countess, in former days, +had been heard to complain of her lord's frequent absence. But it is +hard to please some women,--and now she would not always be satisfied +with his presence. + +And all the sons and daughters were there,--excepting Lord Porlock, +the eldest, who never met his father. The earl and Lord Porlock were +not on terms, and indeed hated each other as only such fathers and +such sons can hate. The Honourable George De Courcy was there with +his bride, he having lately performed a manifest duty, in having +married a young woman with money. Very young she was not,--having +reached some years of her life in advance of thirty; but then, +neither was the Honourable George very young; and in this respect +the two were not ill-sorted. The lady's money had not been very +much,--perhaps thirty thousand pounds or so. But then the Honourable +George's money had been absolutely none. Now he had an income on +which he could live, and therefore his father and mother had forgiven +him all his sins, and taken him again to their bosom. And the +marriage was matter of great moment, for the elder scion of the house +had not yet taken to himself a wife, and the De Courcy family might +have to look to this union for an heir. The lady herself was not +beautiful, or clever, or of imposing manners--nor was she of high +birth. But neither was she ugly, nor unbearably stupid. Her manners +were, at any rate, innocent; and as to her birth,--seeing that, from +the first, she was not supposed to have had any,--no disappointment +was felt. Her father had been a coal-merchant. She was always called +Mrs. George, and the effort made respecting her by everybody in and +about the family was to treat her as though she were a figure of +a woman, a large well-dressed resemblance of a being, whom it was +necessary for certain purposes that the De Courcys should carry in +their train. Of the Honourable George we may further observe, that, +having been a spendthrift all his life, he had now become strictly +parsimonious. Having reached the discreet age of forty, he had at +last learned that beggary was objectionable; and he, therefore, +devoted every energy of his mind to saving shillings and pence +wherever pence and shillings might be saved. When first this turn +came upon him both his father and mother were delighted to observe +it; but, although it had hardly yet lasted over twelve months, some +evil results were beginning to appear. Though possessed of an income, +he would take no steps towards possessing himself of a house. He +hung by the paternal mansion, either in town or country; drank the +paternal wines, rode the paternal horses, and had even contrived +to obtain his wife's dresses from the maternal milliner. In the +completion of which little last success, however, some slight family +dissent had showed itself. + +The Honourable John, the third son, was also at Courcy. He had as yet +taken to himself no wife, and as he had not hitherto made himself +conspicuously useful in any special walk of life his family were +beginning to regard him as a burden. Having no income of his own to +save, he had not copied his brother's virtue of parsimony; and, to +tell the truth plainly, had made himself so generally troublesome to +his father, that he had been on more than one occasion threatened +with expulsion from the family roof. But it is not easy to expel a +son. Human fledglings cannot be driven out of the nest like young +birds. An Honourable John turned adrift into absolute poverty will +make himself heard of in the world,--if in no other way, by his +ugliness as he starves. A thorough-going ne'er-do-well in the upper +classes has eminent advantages on his side in the battle which he +fights against respectability. He can't be sent to Australia against +his will. He can't be sent to the poor-house without the knowledge +of all the world. He can't be kept out of tradesmen's shops; nor, +without terrible scandal, can he be kept away from the paternal +properties. The earl had threatened, and snarled, and shown his +teeth; he was an angry man, and a man who could look very angry; with +eyes which could almost become red, and a brow that wrinkled itself +in perpendicular wrinkles, sometimes very terrible to behold. But +he was an inconsistent man, and the Honourable John had learned to +measure his father, and in an accurate balance. + +I have mentioned the sons first, because it is to be presumed that +they were the elder, seeing that their names were mentioned before +those of their sisters in all the peerages. But there were four +daughters,--the Ladies Amelia, Rosina, Margaretta, and Alexandrina. +They, we may say, were the flowers of the family, having so lived +that they had created none of those family feuds which had been so +frequent between their father and their brothers. They were discreet, +high-bred women, thinking, perhaps, a little too much of their own +position in the world, and somewhat apt to put a wrong value on +those advantages which they possessed, and on those which they did +not possess. The Lady Amelia was already married, having made a +substantial if not a brilliant match with Mr. Mortimer Gazebee, a +flourishing solicitor, belonging to a firm which had for many years +acted as agents to the De Courcy property. Mortimer Gazebee was now +member of Parliament for Barchester, partly through the influence +of his father-in-law. That this should be so was a matter of great +disgust to the Honourable George, who thought that the seat should +have belonged to him. But as Mr. Gazebee had paid the very heavy +expenses of the election out of his own pocket, and as George De +Courcy certainly could not have paid them, the justice of his claim +may be questionable. Lady Amelia Gazebee was now the happy mother of +many babies, whom she was wont to carry with her on her visits to +Courcy Castle, and had become an excellent partner to her husband. +He would perhaps have liked it better if she had not spoken so +frequently to him of her own high position as the daughter of an +earl, or so frequently to others of her low position as the wife of +an attorney. But, on the whole, they did very well together, and Mr. +Gazebee had gotten from his marriage quite as much as he expected +when he made it. + +The Lady Rosina was very religious; and I do not know that she was +conspicuous in any other way, unless it might be that she somewhat +resembled her father in her temper. It was of the Lady Rosina that +the servants were afraid, especially with reference to that so-called +day of rest which, under her dominion, had become to many of them +a day of restless torment. It had not always been so with the Lady +Rosina; but her eyes had been opened by the wife of a great church +dignitary in the neighbourhood, and she had undergone regeneration. +How great may be the misery inflicted by an energetic, unmarried, +healthy woman in that condition,--a woman with no husband, or +children, or duties, to distract her from her work--I pray that my +readers may never know. + +The Lady Margaretta was her mother's favourite, and she was like her +mother in all things,--except that her mother had been a beauty. The +world called her proud, disdainful, and even insolent; but the world +was not aware that in all that she did she was acting in accordance +with a principle which had called for much self-abnegation. She had +considered it her duty to be a De Courcy and an earl's daughter at +all times; and consequently she had sacrificed to her idea of duty +all popularity, adulation, and such admiration as would have been +awarded to her as a well-dressed, tall, fashionable, and by no means +stupid young woman. To be at all times in something higher than they +who were manifestly below her in rank,--that was the effort that she +was ever making. But she had been a good daughter, assisting her +mother, as best she might, in all family troubles, and never repining +at the cold, colourless, unlovely life which had been vouchsafed to +her. + +Alexandrina was the beauty of the family, and was in truth the +youngest. But even she was not very young, and was beginning to make +her friends uneasy lest she, too, should let the precious season +of hay-harvest run by without due use of her summer's sun. She had, +perhaps, counted too much on her beauty, which had been beauty +according to law rather than beauty according to taste, and had +looked, probably, for too bounteous a harvest. That her forehead, and +nose, and cheeks, and chin were well-formed, no man could deny. Her +hair was soft and plentiful. Her teeth were good, and her eyes were +long and oval. But the fault of her face was this,--that when you +left her you could not remember it. After a first acquaintance you +could meet her again and not know her. After many meetings you would +fail to carry away with you any portrait of her features. But such +as she had been at twenty, such was she now at thirty. Years had not +robbed her face of its regularity, or ruffled the smoothness of her +too even forehead. Rumour had declared that on more than one, or +perhaps more than two occasions, Lady Alexandrina had been already +induced to plight her troth in return for proffered love; but we all +know that Rumour, when she takes to such topics, exaggerates the +truth, and sets down much in malice. The lady was once engaged, the +engagement lasting for two years, and the engagement had been broken +off, owing to some money difficulties between the gentlemen of the +families. Since that she had become somewhat querulous, and was +supposed to be uneasy on that subject of her haymaking. Her glass +and her maid assured her that her sun shone still as brightly as +ever; but her spirit was becoming weary with waiting, and she dreaded +lest she should become a terror to all, as was her sister Rosina, or +an object of interest to none, as was Margaretta. It was from her +especially that this message had been sent to our friend Crosbie; +for, during the last spring in London, she and Crosbie had known +each other well. Yes, my gentle readers; it is true, as your heart +suggests to you. Under such circumstances Mr. Crosbie should not have +gone to Courcy Castle. + +Such was the family circle of the De Courcys. Among their present +guests I need not enumerate many. First and foremost in all respects +was Lady Dumbello, of whose parentage and position a few words were +said in the last chapter. She was a lady still very young, having as +yet been little more than two years married. But in those two years +her triumphs had been many;--so many, that in the great world her +standing already equalled that of her celebrated mother-in-law, the +Marchioness of Hartletop, who, for twenty years, had owned no greater +potentate than herself in the realms of fashion. But Lady Dumbello +was every inch as great as she; and men said, and women also, that +the daughter-in-law would soon be the greater. + +"I'll be hanged if I can understand how she does it," a certain noble +peer had once said to Crosbie, standing at the door of Sebright's, +during the latter days of the last season. "She never says anything +to any one. She won't speak ten words a whole night through." + +"I don't think she has an idea in her head," said Crosbie. + +"Let me tell you that she must be a very clever woman," continued the +noble peer. "No fool could do as she does. Remember, she's only a +parson's daughter; and as for beauty--" + +"I don't admire her for one," said Crosbie. + +"I don't want to run away with her, if you mean that," said the peer; +"but she is handsome, no doubt. I wonder whether Dumbello likes it." + +Dumbello did like it. It satisfied his ambition to be led about as +the senior lacquey in his wife's train. He believed himself to be +a great man because the world fought for his wife's presence; and +considered himself to be distinguished even among the eldest sons +of marquises, by the greatness reflected from the parson's daughter +whom he had married. He had now been brought to Courcy Castle, and +felt himself proud of his situation because Lady Dumbello had made +considerable difficulty in according this week to the Countess De +Courcy. + +And Lady Julia De Guest was already there, the sister of the other +old earl who lived in the next county. She had only arrived on the +day before, but had been quick in spreading the news as to Crosbie's +engagement. "Engaged to one of the Dales, is he?" said the countess, +with a pretty little smile, which showed plainly that the matter was +one of no interest to herself. "Has she got any money?" + +"Not a shilling, I should think," said the Lady Julia. + +"Pretty, I suppose?" suggested the countess. + +"Why, yes; she is pretty--and a nice girl. I don't know whether her +mother and uncle were very wise in encouraging Mr. Crosbie. I don't +hear that he has anything special to recommend him,--in the way of +money I mean." + +"I dare say it will come to nothing," said the countess, who liked to +hear of girls being engaged and then losing their promised husbands. +She did not know that she liked it, but she did; and already had +pleasure in anticipating poor Lily's discomfiture. But not the less +was she angry with Crosbie, feeling that he was making his way into +her house under false pretences. + +And Alexandrina also was angry when Lady Julia repeated the same +tidings in her hearing. "I really don't think we care very much about +it, Lady Julia," said she, with a little toss of her head. "That's +three times we've been told of Miss Dale's good fortune." + +"The Dales are related to you, I think?" said Margaretta. + +"Not at all," said Lady Julia, bristling up. "The lady whom Mr. +Crosbie proposes to marry is in no way connected with us. Her cousin, +who is the heir to the Allington property, is my nephew by his +mother." And then the subject was dropped. + +Crosbie, on his arrival, was shown up into his room, told the hour +of dinner, and left to his devices. He had been at the castle before, +and knew the ways of the house. So he sat himself down to his table, +and began a letter to Lily. But he had not proceeded far, not having +as yet indeed made up his mind as to the form in which he would +commence it, but was sitting idly with the pen in his hand, thinking +of Lily, and thinking also how such houses as this in which he now +found himself would be soon closed against him, when there came a rap +at his door, and before he could answer the Honourable John entered +the room. + +"Well, old fellow," said the Honourable John, "how are you?" + +Crosbie had been intimate with John De Courcy, but never felt for him +either friendship or liking. Crosbie did not like such men as John De +Courcy; but nevertheless, they called each other old fellow, poked +each other's ribs, and were very intimate. + +"Heard you were here," continued the Honourable John; "so I thought I +would come up and look after you. Going to be married, ain't you?" + +"Not that I know of," said Crosbie. + +"Come, we know better than that. The women have been talking about it +for the last three days. I had her name quite pat yesterday, but I've +forgot it now. Hasn't got a tanner; has she?" And the Honourable John +had now seated himself upon the table. + +"You seem to know a great deal more about it than I do." + +"It is that old woman from Guestwick who told us, then. The women +will be at you at once, you'll find. If there's nothing in it, it's +what I call a d---- shame. Why should they always pull a fellow to +pieces in that way? They were going to marry me the other day!" + +"Were they indeed, though?" + +"To Harriet Twistleton. You know Harriet Twistleton? An uncommon fine +girl, you know. But I wasn't going to be caught like that. I'm very +fond of Harriet,--in my way, you know; but they don't catch an old +bird like me with chaff." + +"I condole with Miss Twistleton for what she has lost." + +"I don't know about condoling. But upon my word that getting married +is a very slow thing. Have you seen George's wife?" + +Crosbie declared that he had not as yet had that pleasure. + +"She's here now, you know. I wouldn't have taken her, not if she'd +had ten times thirty thousand pounds. By Jove, no. But he likes it +well enough. Would you believe it now?--he cares for nothing on earth +except money. You never saw such a fellow. But I'll tell you what, +his nose will be out of joint yet, for Porlock is going to marry. I +heard it from Colepepper, who almost lives with Porlock. As soon as +Porlock heard that she was in the family way he immediately made up +his mind to cut him out." + +"That was a great sign of brotherly love," said Crosbie. + +"I knew he'd do it," said John; "and so I told George before he got +himself spliced. But he would go on. If he'd remained as he was for +four or five years longer there would have been no danger;--for +Porlock, you know, is leading the deuce of a life. I shouldn't wonder +if he didn't reform now, and take to singing psalms or something of +that sort." + +"There's no knowing what a man may come to in this world." + +"By George, no. But I'll tell you what, they'll find no change in me. +If I marry it will not be with the intention of giving up life. I +say, old fellow, have you got a cigar here?" + +"What, to smoke up here, do you mean?" + +"Yes; why not? we're ever so far from the women." + +"Not whilst I am occupier of this room. Besides, it's time to dress +for dinner." + +"Is it? So it is, by George! But I mean to have a smoke first, I can +tell you. So it's all a lie about your being engaged; eh?" + +"As far as I know, it is," said Crosbie. And then his friend left +him. + +What was he to do at once, now, this very day, as to his engagement? +He had felt sure that the report of it would be carried to Courcy by +Lady Julia De Guest, but he had not settled down upon any resolution +as to what he would do in consequence. It had not occurred to him +that he would immediately be charged with the offence, and called +upon to plead guilty or not guilty. He had never for a moment +meditated any plea of not guilty, but he was aware of an aversion +on his part to declare himself as engaged to Lilian Dale. It seemed +that by doing so he would cut himself off at once from all pleasure +at such houses as Courcy Castle; and, as he argued to himself, why +should he not enjoy the little remnant of his bachelor life? As to +his denying his engagement to John De Courcy,--that was nothing. Any +one would understand that he would be justified in concealing a fact +concerning himself from such a one as he. The denial repeated from +John's mouth would amount to nothing,--even among John's own sisters. +But now it was necessary that Crosbie should make up his mind as to +what he would say when questioned by the ladies of the house. If he +were to deny the fact to them the denial would be very serious. And, +indeed, was it possible that he should make such denial with Lady +Julia opposite to him? + +Make such a denial! And was it the fact that he could wish to do +so,--that he should think of such falsehood, and even meditate on the +perpetration of such cowardice? He had held that young girl to his +heart on that very morning. He had sworn to her, and had also sworn +to himself, that she should have no reason for distrusting him. He +had acknowledged most solemnly to himself that, whether for good or +for ill, he was bound to her; and could it be that he was already +calculating as to the practicability of disowning her? In doing so +must he not have told himself that he was a villain? But in truth +he made no such calculation. His object was to banish the subject, +if it were possible to do so; to think of some answer by which he +might create a doubt. It did not occur to him to tell the countess +boldly that there was no truth whatever in the report, and that Miss +Dale was nothing to him. But might he not skilfully laugh off the +subject, even in the presence of Lady Julia? Men who were engaged +did so usually, and why should not he? It was generally thought that +solicitude for the lady's feelings should prevent a man from talking +openly of his own engagement. Then he remembered the easy freedom +with which his position had been discussed throughout the whole +neighbourhood of Allington, and felt for the first time that the Dale +family had been almost indelicate in their want of reticence. "I +suppose it was done to tie me the faster," he said to himself, as he +pulled out the ends of his cravat. "What a fool I was to come here, +or indeed to go anywhere, after settling myself as I have done." And +then he went down into the drawing-room. + +It was almost a relief to him when he found that he was not charged +with his sin at once. He himself had been so full of the subject that +he had expected to be attacked at the moment of his entrance. He was, +however, greeted without any allusion to the matter. The countess, in +her own quiet way, shook hands with him as though she had seen him +only the day before. The earl, who was seated in his arm-chair, asked +some one, out loud, who the stranger was, and then, with two fingers +put forth, muttered some apology for a welcome. But Crosbie was quite +up to that kind of thing. "How do, my lord?" he said, turning his +face away to some one else as he spoke; and then he took no further +notice of the master of the house. "Not know him, indeed!" Crippled +though he was by his matrimonial bond, Crosbie felt that, at any rate +as yet, he was the earl's equal in social importance. After that, he +found himself in the back part of the drawing-room, away from the +elder people, standing with Lady Alexandrina, with Miss Gresham, a +cousin of the De Courcys, and sundry other of the younger portion of +the assembled community. + +"So you have Lady Dumbello here?" said Crosbie. + +"Oh, yes; the dear creature!" said Lady Margaretta. "It was so good +of her to come, you know." + +"She positively refused the Duchess of St. Bungay," said Alexandrina. +"I hope you perceive how good we've been to you in getting you to +meet her. People have actually asked to come." + +"I am grateful; but, in truth, my gratitude has more to do with +Courcy Castle and its habitual inmates, than with Lady Dumbello. Is +he here?" + +"Oh, yes! he's in the room somewhere. There he is, standing up by +Lady Clandidlem. He always stands in that way before dinner. In the +evening he sits down much after the same fashion." + +Crosbie had seen him on first entering the room, and had seen every +individual in it. He knew better than to omit the duty of that +scrutinizing glance; but it sounded well in his line not to have +observed Lord Dumbello. + +"And her ladyship is not down?" said he. + +"She is generally last," said Lady Margaretta. + +"And yet she has always three women to dress her," said Alexandrina. + +"But when finished, what a success it is!" said Crosbie. + +"Indeed it is!" said Margaretta, with energy. Then the door was +opened, and Lady Dumbello entered the room. + +There was immediately a commotion among them all. Even the gouty old +lord shuffled up out of his chair, and tried, with a grin, to look +sweet and pleasant. The countess came forward, looking very sweet +and pleasant, making little complimentary speeches, to which the +viscountess answered simply by a gracious smile. Lady Clandidlem, +though she was very fat and heavy, left the viscount, and got up +to join the group. Baron Potsneuf, a diplomatic German of great +celebrity, crossed his hands upon his breast and made a low bow. The +Honourable George, who had stood silent for the last quarter of an +hour, suggested to her ladyship that she must have found the air +rather cold; and the Ladies Margaretta and Alexandrina fluttered +up with little complimentary speeches to their dear Lady Dumbello, +hoping this and beseeching that, as though the "Woman in White" +before them had been the dearest friend of their infancy. + +She was a woman in white, being dressed in white silk, with white +lace over it, and with no other jewels upon her person than diamonds. +Very beautifully she was dressed; doing infinite credit, no doubt, to +those three artists who had, between them, succeeded in turning her +out of hand. And her face, also, was beautiful, with a certain cold, +inexpressive beauty. She walked up the room very slowly, smiling here +and smiling there; but still with very faint smiles, and took the +place which her hostess indicated to her. One word she said to the +countess and two to the earl. Beyond that she did not open her lips. +All the homage paid to her she received as though it were clearly her +due. She was not in the least embarrassed, nor did she show herself +to be in the slightest degree ashamed of her own silence. She did +not look like a fool, nor was she even taken for a fool; but she +contributed nothing to society but her cold, hard beauty, her gait, +and her dress. We may say that she contributed enough, for society +acknowledged itself to be deeply indebted to her. + +The only person in the room who did not move at Lady Dumbello's +entrance was her husband. But he remained unmoved from no want of +enthusiasm. A spark of pleasure actually beamed in his eye as he saw +the triumphant entrance of his wife. He felt that he had made a match +that was becoming to him as a great nobleman, and that the world was +acknowledging that he had done his duty. And yet Lady Dumbello had +been simply the daughter of a country parson, of a clergyman who had +reached no higher rank than that of an archdeacon. "How wonderfully +well that woman has educated her," the countess said that evening +in her dressing-room, to Margaretta. The woman alluded to was Mrs. +Grantly, the wife of the parson and mother of Lady Dumbello. + +The old earl was very cross because destiny and the table of +precedence required him to take out Lady Clandidlem to dinner. He +almost insulted her, as she kindly endeavoured to assist him in his +infirm step rather than to lean upon him. + +"Ugh!" he said, "it's a bad arrangement that makes two old people +like you and me be sent out together to help each other." + +"Speak for yourself," said her ladyship, with a laugh. "I, at any +rate, can get about without any assistance,"--which, indeed, was true +enough. + +"It's well for you!" growled the earl, as he got himself into his +seat. + +And after that he endeavoured to solace his pain by a flirtation with +Lady Dumbello on his left. The earl's smiles and the earl's teeth, +when he whispered naughty little nothings to pretty young women, were +phenomena at which men might marvel. Whatever those naughty nothings +were on the present occasion, Lady Dumbello took them all with +placidity, smiling graciously, but speaking hardly more than +monosyllables. + +Lady Alexandrina fell to Crosbie's lot, and he felt gratified that +it was so. It might be necessary for him, as a married man, to give +up such acquaintances as the De Courcys, but he should like, if +possible, to maintain a friendship with Lady Alexandrina. What a +friend Lady Alexandrina would be for Lily, if any such friendship +were only possible! What an advantage would such an alliance confer +upon that dear little girl;--for, after all, though the dear little +girl's attractions were very great, he could not but admit to himself +that she wanted a something,--a way of holding herself and of +speaking, which some people call style. Lily might certainly learn +a great deal from Lady Alexandrina; and it was this conviction, +no doubt, which made him so sedulous in pleasing that lady on the +present occasion. + +And she, as it seemed, was well inclined to be pleased. She said no +word to him during dinner about Lily; and yet she spoke about the +Dales, and about Allington, showing that she knew in what quarters +he had been staying, and then she alluded to their last parties in +London,--those occasions on which, as Crosbie now remembered, the +intercourse between them had almost been tender. It was manifest to +him that at any rate she did not wish to quarrel with him. It was +manifest, also, that she had some little hesitation in speaking to +him about his engagement. He did not for a moment doubt that she was +aware of it. And in this way matters went on between them till the +ladies left the room. + +"So you're going to be married, too," said the Honourable George, by +whose side Crosbie found himself seated when the ladies were gone. +Crosbie was employing himself upon a walnut, and did not find it +necessary to make any answer. + +"It's the best thing a fellow can do," continued George; "that is, if +he has been careful to look to the main chance,--if he hasn't been +caught napping, you know. It doesn't do for a man to go hanging on by +nothing till he finds himself an old man." + +"You've feathered your own nest, at any rate." + +"Yes; I've got something in the scramble, and I mean to keep it. +Where will John be when the governor goes off the hooks? Porlock +wouldn't give him a bit of bread and cheese and a glass of beer to +save his life;--that is to say, not if he wanted it." + +"I'm told your elder brother is going to be married." + +"You've heard that from John. He's spreading that about everywhere to +take a rise out of me. I don't believe a word of it. Porlock never +was a marrying man;--and, what's more, from all I hear, I don't think +he'll live long." + +In this way Crosbie escaped from his own difficulty; and when he rose +from the dinner-table had not as yet been driven to confess anything +to his own discredit. + +But the evening was not yet over. When he returned to the +drawing-room he endeavoured to avoid any conversation with the +countess herself, believing that the attack would more probably come +from her than from her daughter. He, therefore, got into conversation +first with one and then with another of the girls, till at last he +found himself again alone with Alexandrina. + +"Mr. Crosbie," she said, in a low voice, as they were standing +together over one of the distant tables, with their backs to the rest +of the company, "I want you to tell me something about Miss Lilian +Dale." + +"About Miss Lilian Dale!" he said, repeating her words. + +"Is she very pretty?" + +"Yes; she certainly is pretty." + +"And very nice, and attractive, and clever,--and all that is +delightful? Is she perfect?" + +"She is very attractive," said he; "but I don't think she's perfect." + +"And what are her faults?" + +"That question is hardly fair, is it? Suppose any one were to ask me +what were your faults, do you think I should answer the question?" + +"I am quite sure you would, and make a very long list of them, too. +But as to Miss Dale, you ought to think her perfect. If a gentleman +were engaged to me, I should expect him to swear before all the world +that I was the very pink of perfection." + +"But supposing the gentleman were not engaged to you?" + +"That would be a different thing." + +"I am not engaged to you," said Crosbie. "Such happiness and such +honour are, I fear, very far beyond my reach. But, nevertheless, I am +prepared to testify as to your perfection anywhere." + +"And what would Miss Dale say?" + +"Allow me to assure you that such opinions as I may choose to express +of my friends will be my own opinions, and not depend on those of any +one else." + +"And you think, then, that you are not bound to be enslaved as yet? +How many more months of such freedom are you to enjoy?" + +Crosbie remained silent for a minute before he answered, and then he +spoke in a serious voice. "Lady Alexandrina," said he, "I would beg +from you a great favour." + +"What is the favour, Mr. Crosbie?" + +"I am quite in earnest. Will you be good enough, kind enough, enough +my friend, not to connect my name again with that of Miss Dale while +I am here?" + +"Has there been a quarrel?" + +"No; there has been no quarrel. I cannot explain to you now why I +make this request; but to you I will explain it before I go." + +"Explain it to me!" + +"I have regarded you as more than an acquaintance,--as a friend. In +days now past there were moments when I was almost rash enough to +hope that I might have said even more than that. I confess that I had +no warrant for such hopes, but I believe that I may still look on you +as a friend?" + +"Oh, yes, certainly," said Alexandrina, in a very low voice, and with +a certain amount of tenderness in her tone. "I have always regarded +you as a friend." + +"And therefore I venture to make the request. The subject is not one +on which I can speak openly, without regret, at the present moment. +But to you, at least, I promise that I will explain it all before I +leave Courcy." + +He at any rate succeeded in mystifying Lady Alexandrina. "I don't +believe he is engaged a bit," she said to Lady Amelia Gazebee that +night. + +"Nonsense, my dear. Lady Julia wouldn't speak of it in that certain +way if she didn't know. Of course he doesn't wish to have it talked +about." + +"If ever he has been engaged to her, he has broken it off again," +said Lady Alexandrina. + +"I dare say he will, my dear, if you give him encouragement," said +the married sister, with great sisterly good-nature. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +LILY DALE'S FIRST LOVE-LETTER. + + +Crosbie was rather proud of himself when he went to bed. He had +succeeded in baffling the charge made against him, without saying +anything as to which his conscience need condemn him. So, at least, +he then told himself. The impression left by what he had said would +be that there had been some question of an engagement between him and +Lilian Dale, but that nothing at this moment was absolutely fixed. +But in the morning his conscience was not quite so clear. What would +Lily think and say if she knew it all? Could he dare to tell her, or +to tell any one the real state of his mind? + +As he lay in bed, knowing that an hour remained to him before he need +encounter the perils of his tub, he felt that he hated Courcy Castle +and its inmates. Who was there, among them all, that was comparable +to Mrs. Dale and her daughters? He detested both George and John. +He loathed the earl. As to the countess herself, he was perfectly +indifferent, regarding her as a woman whom it was well to know, but +as one only to be known as the mistress of Courcy Castle and a house +in London. As to the daughters, he had ridiculed them all from time +to time--even Alexandrina, whom he now professed to love. Perhaps +in some sort of way he had a weak fondness for her;--but it was a +fondness that had never touched his heart. He could measure the +whole thing at its worth,--Courcy Castle with its privileges, Lady +Dumbello, Lady Clandidlem, and the whole of it. He knew that he had +been happier on that lawn at Allington, and more contented with +himself, than ever he had been even under Lady Hartletop's splendid +roof in Shropshire. Lady Dumbello was satisfied with these things, +even in the inmost recesses of her soul; but he was not a male Lady +Dumbello. He knew that there was something better, and that that +something was within his reach. + +But, nevertheless, the air of Courcy was too much for him. In arguing +the matter with himself he regarded himself as one infected with +a leprosy from which there could be no recovery, and who should, +therefore, make his whole life suitable to the circumstances of that +leprosy. It was of no use for him to tell himself that the Small +House at Allington was better than Courcy Castle. Satan knew that +heaven was better than hell; but he found himself to be fitter for +the latter place. Crosbie ridiculed Lady Dumbello, even there among +her friends, with all the cutting words that his wit could find; but, +nevertheless, the privilege of staying in the same house with her was +dear to him. It was the line of life into which he had fallen, and +he confessed inwardly that the struggle to extricate himself would +be too much for him. All that had troubled him while he was yet at +Allington, but it overwhelmed him almost with dismay beneath the +hangings of Courcy Castle. + +Had he not better run from the place at once? He had almost +acknowledged to himself that he repented his engagement with Lilian +Dale, but he still was resolved that he would fulfil it. He was bound +in honour to marry "that little girl," and he looked sternly up at +the drapery over his head, as he assured himself that he was a man of +honour. Yes; he would sacrifice himself. As he had been induced to +pledge his word, he would not go back from it. He was too much of a +man for that! + +But had he not been wrong to refuse the result of Lily's wisdom when +she told him in the field that it would be better for them to part? +He did not tell himself that he had refused her offer merely because +he had not the courage to accept it on the spur of the moment. No. +"He had been too good to the poor girl to take her at her word." It +was thus he argued on the matter within his own breast. He had been +too true to her; and now the effect would be that they would both be +unhappy for life! He could not live in content with a family upon a +small income. He was well aware of that. No one could be harder upon +him in that matter than was he himself. But it was too late now to +remedy the ill effects of an early education. + +It was thus that he debated the matter as he lay in +bed,--contradicting one argument by another over and over again; but +still in all of them teaching himself to think that this engagement +of his was a misfortune. Poor Lily! Her last words to him had +conveyed an assurance that she would never distrust him. And she +also, as she lay wakeful in her bed on this the first morning of his +absence, thought much of their mutual vows. How true she would be to +them! How she would be his wife with all her heart and spirit! It was +not only that she would love him;--but in her love she would serve +him to her utmost; serve him as regarded this world, and if possible +as regarded the next. + +"Bell," she said, "I wish you were going to be married too." + +"Thank'ye, dear," said Bell. "Perhaps I shall some day." + +"Ah; but I'm not joking. It seems such a serious thing. And I can't +expect you to talk to me about it now as you would if you were in the +same position yourself. Do you think I shall make him happy?" + +"Yes, I do, certainly." + +"Happier than he would be with any one else that he might meet? I +dare not think that. I think I could give him up to-morrow, if I +could see any one that would suit him better." What would Lily have +said had she been made acquainted with all the fascinations of Lady +Alexandrina De Courcy? + +The countess was very civil to him, saying nothing about his +engagement, but still talking to him a good deal about his sojourn +at Allington. Crosbie was a pleasant man for ladies in a large house. +Though a sportsman, he was not so keen a sportsman as to be always +out with the gamekeepers. Though a politician, he did not sacrifice +his mornings to the perusal of blue-books or the preparation of party +tactics. Though a reading man, he did not devote himself to study. +Though a horseman, he was not often to be found in the stables. He +could supply conversation when it was wanted, and could take himself +out of the way when his presence among the women was not needed. +Between breakfast and lunch on the day following his arrival he +talked a good deal to the countess, and made himself very agreeable. +She continued to ridicule him gently for his prolonged stay among so +primitive and rural a tribe of people as the Dales, and he bore her +little sarcasm with the utmost good-humour. + +"Six weeks at Allington without a move! Why, Mr. Crosbie, you must +have felt yourself to be growing there." + +"So I did--like an ancient tree. Indeed, I was so rooted that I could +hardly get away." + +"Was the house full of people all the time?" + +"There was nobody there but Bernard Dale, Lady Julia's nephew." + +"Quite a case of Damon and Pythias. Fancy your going down to +the shades of Allington to enjoy the uninterrupted pleasures of +friendship for six weeks." + +"Friendship and the partridges." + +"There was nothing else, then?" + +"Indeed there was. There was a widow with two very nice daughters, +living, not exactly in the same house, but on the same grounds." + +"Oh, indeed. That makes such a difference; doesn't it? You are not a +man to bear much privation on the score of partridges, nor a great +deal, I imagine, for friendship. But when you talk of pretty girls--" + +"It makes a difference, doesn't it?" + +"A very great difference. I think I have heard of that Mrs. Dale +before. And so her girls are nice?" + +"Very nice indeed." + +"Play croquet, I suppose, and eat syllabub on the lawn? But, really, +didn't you get very tired of it?" + +"Oh dear, no. I was happy as the day was long." + +"Going about with a crook, I suppose?" + +"Not exactly a live crook; but doing all that kind of thing. I +learned a great deal about pigs." + +"Under the guidance of Miss Dale?" + +"Yes; under the guidance of Miss Dale." + +"I'm sure one is very much obliged to you for tearing yourself away +from such charms, and coming to such unromantic people as we are. +But I fancy men always do that sort of thing once or twice in their +lives,--and then they talk of their souvenirs. I suppose it won't go +beyond a souvenir with you." + +This was a direct question, but still admitted of a fencing answer. +"It has, at any rate, given me one," said he, "which will last me my +life!" + +The countess was quite contented. That Lady Julia's statement was +altogether true she had never for a moment doubted. That Crosbie +should become engaged to a young lady in the country, whereas he had +shown signs of being in love with her daughter in London, was not +at all wonderful. Nor, in her eyes, did such practice amount to any +great sin. Men did so daily, and girls were prepared for their so +doing. A man in her eyes was not to be regarded as safe from attack +because he was engaged. Let the young lady who took upon herself to +own him have an eye to that. When she looked back on the past careers +of her own flock, she had to reckon more than one such disappointment +for her own daughters. Others besides Alexandrina had been so +treated. Lady De Courcy had had her grand hopes respecting her +girls, and after them moderate hopes, and again after them bitter +disappointments. Only one had been married, and she was married to +an attorney. It was not to be supposed that she would have any very +high-toned feelings as to Lily's rights in this matter. + +Such a man as Crosbie was certainly no great match for an earl's +daughter. Such a marriage, indeed, would, one may say, be but a poor +triumph. When the countess, during the last season in town, had +observed how matters were going with Alexandrina, she had cautioned +her child, taking her to task for her imprudence. But the child +had been at this work for fourteen years, and was weary of it. Her +sisters had been at the work longer, and had almost given it up in +despair. Alexandrina did not tell her parent that her heart was now +beyond her control, and that she had devoted herself to Crosbie for +ever; but she pouted, saying that she knew very well what she was +about, scolding her mother in return, and making Lady De Courcy +perceive that the struggle was becoming very weary. And then there +were other considerations. Mr. Crosbie had not much certainly in +his own possession, but he was a man out of whom something might be +made by family influence and his own standing. He was not a hopeless, +ponderous man, whom no leaven could raise. He was one of whose +position in society the countess and her daughters need not be +ashamed. Lady De Courcy had given no expressed consent to the +arrangement, but it had come to be understood between her and her +daughter that the scheme was to be entertained as admissible. + +Then came these tidings of the little girl down at Allington. She +felt no anger against Crosbie. To be angry on such a subject would +be futile, foolish, and almost indecorous. It was a part of the game +which was as natural to her as fielding is to a cricketer. One cannot +have it all winnings at any game. Whether Crosbie should eventually +become her own son-in-law or not it came to her naturally, as a part +of her duty in life, to bowl down the stumps of that young lady at +Allington. If Miss Dale knew the game well and could protect her own +wicket, let her do so. + +She had no doubt as to Crosbie's engagement with Lilian Dale, but +she had as little as to his being ashamed of that engagement. Had +he really cared for Miss Dale he would not have left her to come to +Courcy Castle. Had he been really resolved to marry her, he would not +have warded all questions respecting his engagement with fictitious +answers. He had amused himself with Lily Dale, and it was to be hoped +that the young lady had not thought very seriously about it. That was +the most charitable light in which Lady De Courcy was disposed to +regard the question. + +It behoved Crosbie to write to Lily Dale before dinner. He had +promised to do so immediately on his arrival, and he was aware that +he would be regarded as being already one day beyond his promise. +Lily had told him that she would live upon his letters, and it was +absolutely necessary that he should furnish her with her first meal. +So he betook himself to his room in sufficient time before dinner, +and got out his pen, ink, and paper. + +He got out his pen, ink, and paper, and then he found that his +difficulties were beginning. I beg that it may be understood that +Crosbie was not altogether a villain. He could not sit down and write +a letter as coming from his heart, of which as he wrote it he knew +the words to be false. He was an ungenerous, worldly, inconstant man, +very prone to think well of himself, and to give himself credit for +virtues which he did not possess; but he could not be false with +premeditated cruelty to a woman he had sworn to love. He could +not write an affectionate, warm-hearted letter to Lily, without +bringing himself, at any rate for the time, to feel towards her in an +affectionate, warm-hearted way. Therefore he now sat himself to work, +while his pen yet remained dry in his hand, to remodel his thoughts, +which had been turned against Lily and Allington by the craft of Lady +De Courcy. It takes some time before a man can do this. He has to +struggle with himself in a very uncomfortable way, making efforts +which are often unsuccessful. It is sometimes easier to lift a couple +of hundredweights than to raise a few thoughts in one's mind which at +other moments will come galloping in without a whistle. + +He had just written the date of his letter when a little tap came at +his door, and it was opened. + +"I say, Crosbie," said the Honourable John, "didn't you say something +yesterday about a cigar before dinner?" + +"Not a word," said Crosbie, in rather an angry tone. + +"Then it must have been me," said John. "But bring your case with +you, and come down to the harness-room, if you won't smoke here. I've +had a regular little snuggery fitted up there; and we can go in and +see the fellows making up the horses." + +Crosbie wished the Honourable John at the mischief. + +"I have letters to write," said he. "Besides, I never smoke before +dinner." + +"That's nonsense. I've smoked hundreds of cigars with you before +dinner. Are you going to turn curmudgeon, too, like George and the +rest of them? I don't know what's coming to the world! I suppose the +fact is, that little girl at Allington won't let you smoke." + +"The little girl at Allington--" began Crosbie; and then he reflected +that it would not be well for him to say anything to his present +companion about that little girl. "I'll tell you what it is," said +he. "I really have got letters to write which must go by this post. +There's my cigar-case on the dressing-table." + +"I hope it will be long before I'm brought to such a state," said +John, taking up the cigars in his hand. + +"Let me have the case back," said Crosbie. + +"A present from the little girl, I suppose?" said John. "All right, +old fellow! you shall have it." + +"There would be a nice brother-in-law for a man," said Crosbie to +himself, as the door closed behind the retreating scion of the De +Courcy family. And then, again, he took up his pen. The letter must +be written, and therefore he threw himself upon the table, resolved +that the words should come and the paper be filled. + + + Courcy Castle, October, 186--. + + DEAREST LILY,--This is the first letter I ever wrote + to you, except those little notes when I sent you my + compliments discreetly,--and it sounds so odd. You will + think that this does not come as soon as it should; but + the truth is that after all I only got in here just before + dinner yesterday. I stayed ever so long in Barchester, + and came across such a queer character. For you must + know I went to church, and afterwards fraternized with + the clergyman who did the service; such a gentle old + soul,--and, singularly enough, he is the grandfather of + Lady Dumbello, who is staying here. I wonder what you'd + think of Lady Dumbello, or how you'd like to be shut up in + the same house with her for a week? + + But with reference to my staying at Barchester, I must + tell you the truth now, though I was a gross impostor the + day that I went away. I wanted to avoid a parting on that + last morning, and therefore I started much sooner than + I need have done. I know you will be very angry with me; + but open confession is good for the soul. You frustrated + all my little plan by your early rising; and as I saw + you standing on the terrace, looking after us as we went, + I acknowledged that you had been right, and that I was + wrong. When the time came, I was very glad to have you + with me at the last moment. + + My own dearest Lily, you cannot think how different this + place is from the two houses at Allington, or how much I + prefer the sort of life which belongs to the latter. I + know that I have been what the world calls worldly, but + you will have to cure me of that. I have questioned myself + very much since I left you, and I do not think that I am + quite beyond the reach of a cure. At any rate, I will + put myself trustingly into the doctor's hands. I know it + is hard for a man to change his habits; but I can with + truth say this for myself, that I was happy at Allington, + enjoying every hour of the day, and that here I am ennuye + by everybody and nearly by everything. One of the girls of + the house I do like; but as to other people, I can hardly + find a companion among them, let alone a friend. However, + it would not have done for me to have broken away from all + such alliances too suddenly. + + When I get up to London--and now I really am anxious to + get there--I can write to you more at my ease, and more + freely than I do here. I know that I am hardly myself + among these people,--or rather, I am hardly myself as + you know me, and as I hope you always will know me. But, + nevertheless, I am not so overcome by the miasma but what + I can tell you how truly I love you. Even though my spirit + should be here, which it is not, my heart would be on the + Allington lawns. That dear lawn and that dear bridge! + + Give my kind love to Bell and your mother. I feel already + that I might almost say my mother. And Lily, my darling, + write to me at once. I expect your letters to me to be + longer, and better, and brighter than mine to you. But I + will endeavour to make mine nicer when I get back to town. + + God bless you. Yours, with all my heart, + + A. C. + + +As he had waxed warm with his writing he had forced himself to +be affectionate, and, as he flattered himself, frank and candid. +Nevertheless, he was partly conscious that he was preparing for +himself a mode of escape in those allusions of his to his own +worldliness; if escape should ultimately be necessary. "I have +tried," he would then say; "I have struggled honestly, with my best +efforts for success; but I am not good enough for such success." I do +not intend to say that he wrote with a premeditated intention of thus +using his words; but as he wrote them he could not keep himself from +reflecting that they might be used in that way. + +He read his letter over, felt satisfied with it, and resolved that +he might now free his mind from that consideration for the next +forty-eight hours. Whatever might be his sins he had done his duty by +Lily! And with this comfortable reflection he deposited his letter in +the Courcy Castle letter-box. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +THE SQUIRE MAKES A VISIT TO THE SMALL HOUSE. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +Mrs. Dale acknowledged to herself that she had not much ground for +hoping that she should ever find in Crosbie's house much personal +happiness for her future life. She did not dislike Mr. Crosbie, nor +in any great degree mistrust him; but she had seen enough of him to +make her certain that Lily's future home in London could not be a +home for her. He was worldly, or, at least, a man of the world. He +would be anxious to make the most of his income, and his life would +be one long struggle, not perhaps for money, but for those things +which money only can give. There are men to whom eight hundred a year +is great wealth, and houses to which it brings all the comforts that +life requires. But Crosbie was not such a man, nor would his house be +such a house. Mrs. Dale hoped that Lily would be happy with him, and +satisfied with his modes of life, and she strove to believe that such +would be the case; but as regarded herself she was forced to confess +that in such a marriage her child would be much divided from her. +That pleasant abode to which she had long looked forward that she +might have a welcome there in coming years should be among fields and +trees, not in some narrow London street. Lily must now become a city +lady; but Bell would still be left to her, and it might still be +hoped that Bell would find for herself some country home. + +Since the day on which Lily had first told her mother of her +engagement, Mrs. Dale had found herself talking much more fully and +more frequently with Bell than with her younger daughter. As long as +Crosbie was at Allington this was natural enough. He and Lily were of +course together, while Bell remained with her mother. But the same +state of things continued even after Crosbie was gone. It was not +that there was any coolness or want of affection between the mother +and daughter, but that Lily's heart was full of her lover, and +that Mrs. Dale, though she had given her cordial consent to the +marriage, felt that she had but few points of sympathy with her +future son-in-law. She had never said, even to herself, that she +disliked him; nay, she had sometimes declared to herself that she +was fond of him. But, in truth, he was not a man after her own heart. +He was not one who could ever be to her as her own son and her own +child. + +But she and Bell would pass hours together talking of Lily's +prospects. "It seems so strange to me," said Mrs. Dale, "that she +of all girls should have been fancied by such a man as Mr. Crosbie, +or that she should have liked him. I cannot imagine Lily living in +London." + +"If he is good and affectionate to her she will be happy wherever he +is," said Bell. + +"I hope so;--I'm sure I hope so. But it seems as though she will be +so far separated from us. It is not the distance, but the manner of +life which makes the separation. I hope you'll never be taken so far +from me." + +"I don't think I shall allow myself to be taken up to London," said +Bell, laughing. "But one can never tell. If I do you must follow us, +mamma." + +"I do not want another Mr. Crosbie for you, dear." + +"But perhaps I may want one for myself. You need not tremble quite +yet, however. Apollos do not come this road every day." + +"Poor Lily! Do you remember when she first called him Apollo? I do, +well. I remember his coming here the day after Bernard brought him +down, and how you were playing on the lawn, while I was in the other +garden. I little thought then what it would come to." + +"But, mamma, you don't regret it?" + +"Not if it's to make her happy. If she can be happy with him, of +course I shall not regret it; not though he were to take her to the +world's end away from us. What else have I to look for but that she +and you should both be happy?" + +"Men in London are happy with their wives as well as men in the +country." + +"Oh, yes; of all women I should be the first to acknowledge that." + +"And as to Adolphus himself, I do not know why we should distrust +him." + +"No, my dear; there is no reason. If I did distrust him, I should not +have given so ready an assent to the marriage. But, nevertheless--" + +"The truth is, you don't like him, mamma." + +"Not so cordially as I hope I may like any man whom you may choose +for your husband." + +And Lily, though she said nothing on the subject to Mrs. Dale, felt +that her mother was in some degree estranged from her. Crosbie's name +was frequently mentioned between them, but in the tone of Mrs. Dale's +voice, and in her manner when she spoke of him, there was lacking +that enthusiasm and heartiness which real sympathy would have +produced. Lily did not analyse her own feelings, or closely make +inquiry as to those of her mother, but she perceived that it was not +all as she would have wished it to have been. "I know mamma does not +love him," she said to Bell on the evening of the day on which she +received Crosbie's first letter. + +"Not as you do, Lily; but she does love him." + +"Not as I do! To say that is nonsense, Bell; of course she does not +love him as I do. But the truth is she does not love him at all. Do +you think I cannot see it?" + +"I'm afraid that you see too much." + +"She never says a word against him; but if she really liked him she +would sometimes say a word in his favour. I do not think she would +ever mention his name unless you or I spoke of him before her. If she +did not approve of him, why did she not say so sooner?" + +"That's hardly fair upon mamma," said Bell, with some earnestness. +"She does not disapprove of him, and she never did. You know mamma +well enough to be sure that she would not interfere with us in such a +matter without very strong reason. As regards Mr. Crosbie, she gave +her consent without a moment's hesitation." + +"Yes, she did." + +"How can you say, then, that she disapproves of him?" + +"I didn't mean to find fault with mamma. Perhaps it will come all +right." + +"It will come all right." But Bell, though she made this very +satisfactory promise, was as well aware as either of the others that +the family would be divided when Crosbie should have married Lily and +taken her off to London. + +On the following morning Mrs. Dale and Bell were sitting together. +Lily was above in her own room, either writing to her lover, or +reading his letter, or thinking of him, or working for him. In some +way she was employed on his behalf, and with this object she was +alone. It was now the middle of October, and the fire was lit in +Mrs. Dale's drawing-room. The window which opened upon the lawn was +closed, the heavy curtains had been put back in their places, and +it had been acknowledged as an unwelcome fact that the last of the +summer was over. This was always a sorrow to Mrs. Dale; but it is one +of those sorrows which hardly admit of open expression. + +"Bell," she said, looking up suddenly; "there's your uncle at the +window. Let him in." For now, since the putting up of the curtains, +the window had been bolted as well as closed. So Bell got up, and +opened a passage for the squire's entrance. It was not often that he +came down in this way, and when he did do so it was generally for +some purpose which had been expressed before. + +"What! fires already?" said he. "I never have fires at the other +house in the morning till the first of November. I like to see a +spark in the grate after dinner." + +"I like a fire when I'm cold," said Mrs. Dale. But this was a subject +on which the squire and his sister-in-law had differed before, and as +Mr. Dale had some business in hand, he did not now choose to waste +his energy in supporting his own views on the question of fires. + +"Bell, my dear," said he, "I want to speak to your mother for a +minute or two on a matter of business. You wouldn't mind leaving us +for a little while, would you?" Whereupon Bell collected up her work +and went upstairs to her sister. "Uncle Christopher is below with +mamma," said she, "talking about business. I suppose it is something +to do with your marriage." But Bell was wrong. The squire's visit had +no reference to Lily's marriage. + +Mrs. Dale did not move or speak a word when Bell was gone, though it +was evident that the squire paused in order that she might ask some +question of him. "Mary," said he, at last, "I'll tell you what it +is that I have come to say to you." Whereupon she put the piece of +needlework which was in her hands down upon the work-basket before +her, and settled herself to listen to him. + +"I wish to speak to you about Bell." + +"About Bell?" said Mrs. Dale, as though much surprised that he should +have anything to say to her respecting her eldest daughter. + +"Yes, about Bell. Here's Lily going to be married, and it will be +well that Bell should be married too." + +"I don't see that at all," said Mrs. Dale. "I am by no means in a +hurry to be rid of her." + +"No, I dare say not. But, of course, you only regard her welfare, +and I can truly say that I do the same. There would be no necessity +for hurry as to a marriage for her under ordinary circumstances, +but there may be circumstances to make such a thing desirable, and +I think that there are." It was evident from the squire's tone and +manner that he was very much in earnest; but it was also evident that +he found some difficulty in opening out the budget with which he had +prepared himself. He hesitated a little in his voice, and seemed to +be almost nervous. Mrs. Dale, with some little spice of ill-nature, +altogether abstained from assisting him. She was jealous of +interference from him about her girls, and though she was of course +bound to listen to him, she did so with a prejudice against and +almost with a resolve to oppose anything that he might say. When he +had finished his little speech about circumstances, the squire paused +again; but Mrs. Dale still sat silent, with her eyes fixed upon his +face. + +"I love your children very dearly," said he, "though I believe you +hardly give me credit for doing so." + +"I am sure you do," said Mrs. Dale, "and they are both well aware of +it." + +"And I am very anxious that they should be comfortably established in +life. I have no children of my own, and those of my two brothers are +everything to me." + +Mrs. Dale had always considered it as a matter of course that Bernard +should be the squire's heir, and had never felt that her daughters +had any claim on that score. It was a well-understood thing in the +family that the senior male Dale should have all the Dale property +and all the Dale money. She fully recognized even the propriety of +such an arrangement. But it seemed to her that the squire was almost +guilty of hypocrisy in naming his nephew and his two nieces together, +as though they were the joint heirs of his love. Bernard was his +adopted son, and no one had begrudged to the uncle the right of +making such adoption. Bernard was everything to him, and as being his +heir was bound to obey him in many things. But her daughters were no +more to him than any nieces might be to any uncle. He had nothing +to do with their disposal in marriage; and the mother's spirit +was already up in arms and prepared to do battle for her own +independence, and for that of her children. "If Bernard would +marry well," said she, "I have no doubt it would be a comfort to +you,"--meaning to imply thereby that the squire had no right to +trouble himself about any other marriage. + +"That's just it," said the squire. "It would be a great comfort to +me. And if he and Bell could make up their minds together, it would, +I should think, be a great comfort to you also." + +"Bernard and Bell!" exclaimed Mrs. Dale. No idea of such a union +had ever yet come upon her, and now in her surprise she sat silent. +She had always liked Bernard Dale, having felt for him more family +affection than for any other of the Dale family beyond her own +hearth. He had been very intimate in her house, having made himself +almost as a brother to her girls. But she had never thought of him as +a husband for either of them. + +"Then Bell has not spoken to you about it," said the squire. + +"Never a word." + +"And you had never thought about it?" + +"Certainly not." + +"I have thought about it a great deal. For some years I have always +been thinking of it. I have set my heart upon it, and shall be very +unhappy if it cannot be brought about. They are both very dear to +me,--dearer than anybody else. If I could see them man and wife, I +should not much care then how soon I left the old place to them." + +There was a purer touch of feeling in this than the squire had ever +before shown in his sister-in-law's presence, and more heartiness +than she had given him the credit of possessing. And she could not +but acknowledge to herself that her own child was included in this +unexpected warmth of love, and that she was bound at any rate to +entertain some gratitude for such kindness. + +"It is good of you to think of her," said the mother; "very good." + +"I think a great deal about her," said the squire. "But that does not +much matter now. The fact is, that she has declined Bernard's offer." + +"Has Bernard offered to her?" + +"So he tells me; and she has refused him. It may perhaps be natural +that she should do so, never having taught herself to look at him in +the light of a lover. I don't blame her at all. I am not angry with +her." + +"Angry with her! No. You can hardly be angry with her for not being +in love with her cousin." + +"I say that I am not angry with her. But I think she might undertake +to consider the question. You would like such a match, would you +not?" + +Mrs. Dale did not at first make any answer, but began to revolve the +thing in her mind, and to look at it in various points of view. There +was a great deal in such an arrangement which at the first sight +recommended it to her very strongly. All the local circumstances +were in its favour. As regarded herself it would promise to her all +that she had ever desired. It would give her a prospect of seeing +very much of Lily; for if Bell were settled at the old family house, +Crosbie would naturally be much with his friend. She liked Bernard +also; and for a moment or two fancied, as she turned it all over +in her mind, that, even yet, if such a marriage were to take place, +there might grow up something like true regard between her and the +old squire. How happy would be her old age in that Small House, if +Bell with her children were living so close to her! + +"Well?" said the squire, who was looking very intently into her face. + +"I was thinking," said Mrs. Dale. "Do you say that she has already +refused him?" + +"I am afraid she has; but then you know--" + +"It must of course be left for her to judge." + +"If you mean that she cannot be made to marry her cousin, of course +we all know she can't." + +"I mean rather more than that." + +"What do you mean, then?" + +"That the matter must be left altogether to her own decision; that +no persuasion must be used by you or me. If he can persuade her, +indeed--" + +"Yes, exactly. He must persuade her. I quite agree with you that +he should have liberty to plead his own cause. But look you here, +Mary;--she has always been a very good child to you--" + +"Indeed she has." + +"And a word from you would go a long way with her,--as it ought. If +she knows that you would like her to marry her cousin, it will make +her think it her duty--" + +"Ah! but that is just what I cannot try to make her think." + +"Will you let me speak, Mary? You take me up and scold me before the +words are half out of my mouth. Of course I know that in these days +a young lady is not to be compelled into marrying anybody;--not but +that, as far as I can see, they did better than they do now when they +had not quite so much of their own way." + +"I never would take upon myself to ask a child to marry any man." + +"But you may explain to her that it is her duty to give such a +proposal much thought before it is absolutely refused. A girl either +is in love or she is not. If she is, she is ready to jump down a +man's throat; and that was the case with Lily." + +"She never thought of the man till he had proposed to her fully." + +"Well, never mind now. But if a girl is not in love, she thinks she +is bound to swear and declare that she never will be so." + +"I don't think Bell ever declared anything of the kind." + +"Yes, she did. She told Bernard that she didn't love him and couldn't +love him,--and, in fact, that she wouldn't think anything more about +it. Now, Mary, that's what I call being headstrong and positive. I +don't want to drive her, and I don't want you to drive her. But here +is an arrangement which for her will be a very good one; you must +admit that. We all know that she is on excellent terms with Bernard. +It isn't as though they had been falling out and hating each other +all their lives. She told him that she was very fond of him, and +talked nonsense about being his sister, and all that." + +"I don't see that it was nonsense at all." + +"Yes, it was nonsense,--on such an occasion. If a man asks a girl to +marry him, he doesn't want her to talk to him about being his sister. +I think it is nonsense. If she would only consider about it properly +she would soon learn to love him." + +"That lesson, if it be learned at all, must be learned without any +tutor." + +"You won't do anything to help me then?" + +"I will, at any rate, do nothing to mar you. And, to tell the truth, +I must think over the matter fully before I can decide what I had +better say to Bell about it. From her not speaking to me--" + +"I think she ought to have told you." + +"No, Mr. Dale. Had she accepted him, of course she would have told +me. Had she thought of doing so she might probably have consulted me. +But if she made up her mind that she must reject him--" + +"She oughtn't to have made up her mind." +"But if she did, it seems natural to me that she should speak of it +to no one. She might probably think that Bernard would be as well +pleased that it should not be known." + +"Psha,--known!--of course it will be known. As you want time to +consider of it, I will say nothing more now. If she were my daughter, +I should have no hesitation in telling her what I thought best for +her welfare." + +"I have none; though I may have some in making up my mind as to what +is best for her welfare. But, Mr. Dale, you may be sure of this; I +will speak to her very earnestly of your kindness and love for her. +And I wish you would believe that I feel your regard for her very +strongly." + +In answer to this he merely shook his head, and hummed and hawed. +"You would be glad to see them married, as regards yourself?" he +asked. + +"Certainly I would," said Mrs. Dale. "I have always liked Bernard, +and I believe my girl would be safe with him. But then, you see, it's +a question on which my own likings or dislikings should not have any +bearing." + +And so they parted, the squire making his way back again through +the drawing-room window. He was not above half pleased with his +interview; but then he was a man for whom half-pleasure almost +sufficed. He rarely indulged any expectation that people would make +themselves agreeable to him. Mrs. Dale, since she had come to the +Small House, had never been a source of satisfaction to him, but he +did not on that account regret that he had brought her there. He +was a constant man; urgent in carrying out his own plans, but not +sanguine in doing so, and by no means apt to expect that all things +would go smooth with him. He had made up his mind that his nephew and +his niece should be married, and should he ultimately fail in this, +such failure would probably embitter his future life;--but it was +not in the nature of the man to be angry in the meantime, or to fume +and scold because he met with opposition. He had told Mrs. Dale that +he loved Bell dearly. So he did, though he seldom spoke to her with +much show of special regard, and never was soft and tender with her. +But, on the other hand, he did not now love her the less because she +opposed his wishes. He was a constant, undemonstrative man, given +rather to brooding than to thinking; harder in his words than in his +thoughts, with more of heart than others believed, or than he himself +knew; but, above all, he was a man who having once desired a thing +would desire it always. + +Mrs. Dale, when she was left alone, began to turn over the question +in her mind in a much fuller manner than the squire's presence had +as yet made possible for her. Would not such a marriage as this be +for them all the happiest domestic arrangement which circumstances +could afford? Her daughter would have no fortune, but here would +be prepared for her all the comforts which fortune can give. She +would be received into her uncle's house, not as some penniless, +portionless bride whom Bernard might have married and brought home, +but as the wife whom of all others Bernard's friends had thought +desirable for him. And then, as regarded Mrs. Dale herself, there +would be nothing in such a marriage which would not be delightful +to her. It would give a realization to all her dreams of future +happiness. + +But, as she said to herself over and over again, all that must go for +nothing. It must be for Bell, and for her only, to answer Bernard's +question. In her mind there was something sacred in that idea of +love. She would regard her daughter almost as a castaway if she were +to marry any man without absolutely loving him,--loving him as Lily +loved her lover, with all her heart and all her strength. + +With such a conviction as this strong upon her, she felt that she +could not say much to Bell that would be of any service. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +DR. CROFTS. + + +If there was anything in the world as to which Isabella Dale was +quite certain, it was this--that she was not in love with Dr. Crofts. +As to being in love with her cousin Bernard, she had never had +occasion to ask herself any question on that head. She liked him very +well, but she had never thought of marrying him; and now, when he +made his proposal, she could not bring herself to think of it. But +as regards Dr. Crofts, she had thought of it, and had made up her +mind;--in the manner above described. + +It may be said that she could not have been justified in discussing +the matter even within her own bosom, unless authorized to do so +by Dr. Crofts himself. Let it then be considered that Dr. Crofts +had given her some such authority. This may be done in more ways +than one; and Miss Dale could not have found herself asking herself +questions about him, unless there had been fitting occasion for her +to do so. + +The profession of a medical man in a small provincial town is not +often one which gives to its owner in early life a large income. +Perhaps in no career has a man to work harder for what he earns, or +to do more work without earning anything. It has sometimes seemed +to me as though the young doctors and the old doctors had agreed to +divide between them the different results of their profession,--the +young doctors doing all the work and the old doctors taking all the +money. If this be so it may account for that appearance of premature +gravity which is borne by so many of the medical profession. Under +such an arrangement a man may be excused for a desire to put away +childish things very early in life. + +Dr. Crofts had now been practising in Guestwick nearly seven years, +having settled himself in that town when he was twenty-three years +old, and being at this period about thirty. During those seven +years his skill and industry had been so fully admitted that he had +succeeded in obtaining the medical care of all the paupers in the +union, for which work he was paid at the rate of one hundred pounds +a year. He was also assistant-surgeon at a small hospital which was +maintained in that town, and held two or three other similar public +positions, all of which attested his respectability and general +proficiency. They, moreover, thoroughly saved him from any of the +dangers of idleness; but, unfortunately, they did not enable him +to regard himself as a successful professional man. Whereas old +Dr. Gruffen, of whom but few people spoke well, had made a fortune +in Guestwick, and even still drew from the ailments of the town a +considerable and hardly yet decreasing income. Now this was hard +upon Dr. Crofts--unless there was existing some such well-understood +arrangement as that above named. + +He had been known to the family of the Dales long previous to his +settlement at Guestwick, and had been very intimate with them from +that time to the present day. Of all the men, young or old, whom Mrs. +Dale counted among her intimate friends, he was the one whom she most +trusted and admired. And he was a man to be trusted by those who knew +him well. He was not bright and always ready, as was Crosbie, nor had +he all the practical worldly good sense of Bernard Dale. In mental +power I doubt whether he was superior to John Eames;--to John Eames, +such as he might become when the period of his hobbledehoyhood should +have altogether passed away. But Crofts, compared with the other +three, as they all were at present, was a man more to be trusted than +any of them. And there was, moreover, about him an occasional dash +of humour, without which Mrs. Dale would hardly have regarded him +with that thorough liking which she had for him. But it was a quiet +humour, apt to show itself when he had but one friend with him, +rather than in general society. Crosbie, on the other hand, would +be much more bright among a dozen, than he could with a single +companion. Bernard Dale was never bright; and as for Johnny Eames--; +but in this matter of brightness, Johnny Eames had not yet shown to +the world what his character might be. + +It was now two years since Crofts had been called upon for medical +advice on behalf of his friend Mrs. Dale. She had then been ill for +a long period--some two or three months, and Dr. Crofts had been +frequent in his visits at Allington. At that time he became very +intimate with Mrs. Dale's daughters, and especially so with the +eldest. Young unmarried doctors ought perhaps to be excluded from +houses in which there are young ladies. I know, at any rate, that +many sage matrons hold very strongly to that opinion, thinking, no +doubt, that doctors ought to get themselves married before they +venture to begin working for a living. Mrs. Dale, perhaps, regarded +her own girls as still merely children, for Bell, the elder, was then +hardly eighteen; or perhaps she held imprudent and heterodox opinions +on this subject; or it may be that she selfishly preferred Dr. +Crofts, with all the danger to her children, to Dr. Gruffen, with +all the danger to herself. But the result was that the young doctor +one day informed himself, as he was riding back to Guestwick, that +much of his happiness in this world would depend on his being able +to marry Mrs. Dale's eldest daughter. At that time his total income +amounted to little more than two hundred a year, and he had resolved +within his own mind that Dr. Gruffen was esteemed as much the better +doctor by the general public opinion of Guestwick, and that Dr. +Gruffen's sandy-haired assistant would even have a better chance of +success in the town than himself, should it ever come to pass that +the doctor was esteemed too old for personal practice. Crofts had no +fortune of his own, and he was aware that Miss Dale had none. Then, +under those circumstances, what was he to do? + +It is not necessary that we should inquire at any great length into +those love passages of the doctor's life which took place three years +before the commencement of this narrative. He made no declaration to +Bell; but Bell, young as she was, understood well that he would fain +have done so, had not his courage failed him, or rather had not his +prudence prevented him. To Mrs. Dale he did speak, not openly avowing +his love even to her, but hinting at it, and then talking to her of +his unsatisfied hopes and professional disappointments. "It is not +that I complain of being poor as I am," said he; "or at any rate, not +so poor that my poverty must be any source of discomfort to me; but I +could hardly marry with such an income as I have at present." + +"But it will increase, will it not?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"It may some day, when I am becoming an old man," he said. "But of +what use will it be to me then?" + +Mrs. Dale could not tell him that, as far as her voice in the matter +went, he was welcome to woo her daughter and marry her, poor as +he was, and doubly poor as they would both be together on such a +pittance. He had not even mentioned Bell's name, and had he done +so she could only have bade him wait and hope. After that he said +nothing further to her upon the subject. To Bell he spoke no word +of overt love; but on an autumn day, when Mrs. Dale was already +convalescent, and the repetition of his professional visits had +become unnecessary, he got her to walk with him through the +half-hidden shrubbery paths, and then told her things which he should +never have told her, if he really wished to bind her heart to his. +He repeated that story of his income, and explained to her that +his poverty was only grievous to him in that it prevented him from +thinking of marriage. "I suppose it must," said Bell. "I should think +it wrong to ask any lady to share such an income as mine," said he. +Whereupon Bell had suggested to him that some ladies had incomes of +their own, and that he might in that way get over the difficulty. "I +should be afraid of myself in marrying a girl with money," said he; +"besides, that is altogether out of the question now." Of course +Bell did not ask him why it was out of the question, and for a time +they went on walking in silence. "It is a hard thing to do," he then +said,--not looking at her, but looking at the gravel on which he +stood. "It is a hard thing to do, but I will determine to think of +it no further. I believe a man may be as happy single as he may +married,--almost." "Perhaps more so," said Bell. Then the doctor left +her, and Bell, as I have said before, made up her mind with great +firmness that she was not in love with him. I may certainly say that +there was nothing in the world as to which she was so certain as she +was of this. + +And now, in these days, Dr. Crofts did not come over to Allington +very often. Had any of the family in the Small House been ill, he +would have been there of course. The squire himself employed the +apothecary in the village, or if higher aid was needed, would send +for Dr. Gruffen. On the occasion of Mrs. Dale's party, Crofts was +there, having been specially invited; but Mrs. Dale's special +invitations to her friends were very few, and the doctor was well +aware that he must himself make occasion for going there if he +desired to see the inmates of the house. But he very rarely made such +occasion, perhaps feeling that he was more in his element at the +workhouse and the hospital. + +Just at this time, however, he made one very great and unexpected +step towards success in his profession. He was greatly surprised one +morning by being summoned to the Manor House to attend upon Lord +De Guest. The family at the Manor had employed Dr. Gruffen for the +last thirty years, and Crofts, when he received the earl's message, +could hardly believe the words. "The earl ain't very bad," said the +servant, "but he would be glad to see you if possible a little before +dinner." + +"You're sure he wants to see me?" said Crofts. + +"Oh, yes; I'm sure enough of that, sir." + +"It wasn't Dr. Gruffen?" + +"No, sir; it wasn't Dr. Gruffen. I believe his lordship's had about +enough of Dr. Gruffen. The doctor took to chaffing his lordship one +day." + +"Chaffed his lordship;--his hands and feet, and that sort of thing?" +suggested the doctor. + +"Hands and feet!" said the man. "Lord bless you, sir, he poked his +fun at him, just as though he was nobody. I didn't hear, but Mrs. +Connor says that my lord's back was up terribly high." And so Dr. +Crofts got on his horse and rode up to Guestwick Manor. + +The earl was alone, Lady Julia having already gone to Courcy Castle. +"How d'ye do, how d'ye do?" said the earl. "I'm not very ill, but +I want to get a little advice from you. It's quite a trifle, but +I thought it well to see somebody." Whereupon Dr. Crofts of course +declared that he was happy to wait upon his lordship. + +"I know all about you, you know," said the earl. "Your grandmother +Stoddard was a very old friend of my aunt's. You don't remember Lady +Jemima?" + +"No," said Crofts. "I never had that honour." + +"An excellent old woman, and knew your grandmother Stoddard well. You +see, Gruffen has been attending us for I don't know how many years; +but upon my word--" and then the earl stopped himself. + +"It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good," said Crofts, with a +slight laugh. + +"Perhaps it 'll blow me some good, for Gruffen never did me any. The +fact is this; I'm very well, you know;--as strong as a horse." + +"You look pretty well." + +"No man could be better,--not of my age. I'm sixty, you know." + +"You don't look as though you were ailing." + +"I'm always out in the open air, and that, I take it, is the best +thing for a man." + +"There's nothing like plenty of exercise, certainly." + +"And I'm always taking exercise," said the earl. "There isn't a man +about the place works much harder than I do. And, let me tell you, +sir, when you undertake to keep six or seven hundred acres of land in +your own hand, you must look after it, unless you mean to lose money +by it." + +"I've always heard that your lordship is a good farmer." + +"Well, yes; wherever the grass may grow about my place, it doesn't +grow under my feet. You won't often find me in bed at six o'clock, +I can tell you." + +After this Dr. Crofts ventured to ask his lordship as to what special +physical deficiency his own aid was invoked at the present time. + +"Ah, I was just coming to that," said the earl. "They tell me it's a +very dangerous practice to go to sleep after dinner." + +"It's not very uncommon at any rate," said the doctor. + +"I suppose not; but Lady Julia is always at me about it. And, to +tell the truth, I think I sleep almost too sound when I get to my +arm-chair in the drawing-room. Sometimes my sister really can't wake +me;--so, at least, she says." + +"And how's your appetite at dinner?" + +"Oh, I'm quite right there. I never eat any luncheon, you know, and +enjoy my dinner thoroughly. Then I drink three or four glasses of +port wine--" + +"And feel sleepy afterwards?" + +"That's just it," said the earl. + +It is not perhaps necessary that we should inquire what was the exact +nature of the doctor's advice; but it was, at any rate, given in such +a way that the earl said he would be glad to see him again. + +"And look here, Doctor Crofts, I'm all alone just at present. Suppose +you come over and dine with me to-morrow; then, if I should go to +sleep, you know, you'll be able to let me know whether Lady Julia +doesn't exaggerate. Just between ourselves, I don't quite believe all +she says about my--my snoring, you know." + +Whether it was that the earl restrained his appetite when at dinner +under the doctor's eyes, or whether the mid-day mutton chop which had +been ordered for him had the desired effect, or whether the doctor's +conversation was more lively than that of the Lady Julia, we will not +say; but the earl, on the evening in question, was triumphant. As he +sat in his easy-chair after dinner he hardly winked above once or +twice; and when he had taken the large bowl of tea, which he usually +swallowed in a semi-somnolent condition, he was quite lively. + +"Ah, yes," he said, jumping up and rubbing his eyes; "I think I do +feel lighter. I enjoy a snooze after dinner; I do indeed; I like it; +but then, when one comes to go to bed, one does it in such a sneaking +sort of way, as though one were in disgrace! And my sister, she +thinks it a crime--literally a sin, to go to sleep in a chair. Nobody +ever caught her napping! By-the-by, Dr. Crofts, did you know that Mr. +Crosbie whom Bernard Dale brought down to Allington? Lady Julia and +he are staying at the same house now." + +"I met him once at Mrs. Dale's." + +"Going to marry one of the girls, isn't he?" + +Whereupon Dr. Crofts explained that Mr. Crosbie was engaged to Lilian +Dale. + +"Ah, yes; a nice girl, I'm told. You know all those Dales are +connections of ours. My sister Fanny married their uncle Orlando. My +brother-in-law doesn't like travelling, and so I don't see very much +of him; but of course I'm interested about the family." + +"They're very old friends of mine," said Crofts. + +"Yes, I daresay. There are two girls, are there not?" + +"Yes, two." + +"And Miss Lily is the youngest. There's nothing about the elder one +getting married, is there?" + +"I've not heard anything of it." + +"A very pretty girl she is, too. I remember seeing her at her uncle's +last year. I shouldn't wonder if she were to marry her cousin +Bernard. He is to have the property, you know; and he's my nephew." + +"I'm not quite sure that it's a good thing for cousins to marry," +said Crofts. + +"They do, you know, very often; and it suits some family +arrangements. I suppose Dale must provide for them, and that would +take one off his hands without any trouble." + +Dr. Crofts didn't exactly see the matter in this light, but he was +not anxious to argue it very closely with the earl. "The younger +one," he said, "has provided for herself." + +"What; by getting a husband? But I suppose Dale must give her +something. They're not married yet, you know, and, from what I hear, +that fellow may prove a slippery customer. He'll not marry her unless +old Dale gives her something. You'll see if he does. I'm told that he +has got another string to his bow at Courcy Castle." + +Soon after this, Crofts took his horse and rode home, having promised +the earl that he would dine with him again before long. + +"It'll be a great convenience to me if you'd come about that time," +said the earl, "and as you're a bachelor perhaps you won't mind it. +You'll come on Thursday at seven, will you? Take care of yourself. +It's as dark as pitch. John, go and open the first gates for Dr. +Crofts." And then the earl took himself off to bed. + +Crofts, as he rode home, could not keep his mind from thinking of +the two girls at Allington. "He'll not marry her unless old Dale +gives her something." Had it come to that with the world, that a man +must be bribed into keeping his engagement with a lady? Was there +no romance left among mankind,--no feeling of chivalry? "He's got +another string to his bow at Courcy Castle," said the earl; and his +lordship seemed to be in no degree shocked as he said it. It was in +this tone that men spoke of women now-a-days, and yet he himself had +felt such awe of the girl he loved, and such a fear lest he might +injure her in her worldly position, that he had not dared to tell her +that he loved her. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +JOHN EAMES ENCOUNTERS TWO ADVENTURES, AND DISPLAYS GREAT COURAGE IN +BOTH. + + +Lily thought that her lover's letter was all that it should be. +She was not quite aware what might be the course of post between +Courcy and Allington, and had not, therefore, felt very grievously +disappointed when the letter did not come on the very first day. +She had, however, in the course of the morning, walked down to +the post-office, in order that she might be sure that it was not +remaining there. + +"Why, miss, they be all delivered; you know that," said Mrs. Crump, +the post-mistress. + +"But one might be left behind, I thought." + +"John Postman went up to the house this very day, with a newspaper +for your mamma. I can't make letters for people if folks don't write +them.". + +"But they are left behind sometimes, Mrs. Crump. He wouldn't come up +with one letter if he'd got nothing else for anybody in the street." + +"Indeed but he would then. I wouldn't let him leave a letter here +no how, nor yet a paper. It's no good you're coming down here for +letters, Miss Lily. If he don't write to you, I can't make him do +it." And so poor Lily went home discomforted. + +But the letter came on the next morning, and all was right. According +to her judgment it lacked nothing, either in fulness or in affection. +When he told her how he had planned his early departure in order that +he might avoid the pain of parting with her on the last moment, she +smiled and pressed the paper, and rejoiced inwardly that she had +got the better of him as to that manoeuvre. And then she kissed the +words which told her that he had been glad to have her with him +at the last moment. When he declared that he had been happier at +Allington than he was at Courcy, she believed him thoroughly, and +rejoiced that it should be so. And when he accused himself of being +worldly, she excused him, persuading herself that he was nearly +perfect in this respect as in others. Of course a man living in +London, and having to earn his bread out in the world, must be more +worldly than a country girl; but the fact of his being able to love +such a girl, to choose such a one for his wife,--was not that alone +sufficient proof that the world had not enslaved him? "My heart is on +the Allington lawns," he said; and then, as she read the words, she +kissed the paper again. + +In her eyes, and to her ears, and to her heart, the letter was a +beautiful letter. I believe there is no bliss greater than that which +a thorough love-letter gives to a girl who knows that in receiving it +she commits no fault,--who can open it before her father and mother +with nothing more than the slight blush which the consciousness of +her position gives her. And of all love-letters the first must be the +sweetest! What a value there is in every word! How each expression is +scanned and turned to the best account! With what importance are all +those little phrases invested, which too soon become mere phrases, +used as a matter of course. Crosbie had finished his letter by +bidding God bless her; "And you too," said Lily, pressing the letter +to her bosom. + +"Does he say anything particular?" asked Mrs. Dale. + +"Yes, mamma; it's all very particular." + +"But there's nothing for the public ear." + +"He sends his love to you and Bell." + +"We are very much obliged to him." + +"So you ought to be. And he says that he went to church going through +Barchester, and that the clergyman was the grandfather of that Lady +Dumbello. When he got to Courcy Castle Lady Dumbello was there." + +"What a singular coincidence!" said Mrs. Dale. + +"I won't tell you a word more about his letter," said Lily. So she +folded it up, and put it in her pocket. But as soon as she found +herself alone in her own room, she had it out again, and read it over +some half-a-dozen times. + +That was the occupation of her morning;--that, and the manufacture +of some very intricate piece of work which was intended for the +adornment of Mr. Crosbie's person. Her hands, however, were very full +of work;--or, rather, she intended that they should be full. She +would take with her to her new home, when she was married, all manner +of household gear, the produce of her own industry and economy. She +had declared that she wanted to do something for her future husband, +and she would begin that something at once. And in this matter she +did not belie her promises to herself, or allow her good intentions +to evaporate unaccomplished. She soon surrounded herself with harder +tasks than those embroidered slippers with which she indulged herself +immediately after his departure. And Mrs. Dale and Bell,--though in +their gentle way they laughed at her,--nevertheless they worked with +her, sitting sternly to their long tasks, in order that Crosbie's +house might not be empty when their darling should go to take her +place there as his wife. + +But it was absolutely necessary that the letter should be answered. +It would in her eyes have been a great sin to have let that day's +post go without carrying a letter from her to Courcy Castle,--a sin +of which she felt no temptation to be guilty. It was an exquisite +pleasure to her to seat herself at her little table, with her neat +desk and small appurtenances for epistle-craft, and to feel that she +had a letter to write in which she had truly much to say. Hitherto +her correspondence had been uninteresting and almost weak in its +nature. From her mother and sister she had hardly yet been parted; +and though she had other friends, she had seldom found herself with +very much to tell them by post. What could she communicate to Mary +Eames at Guestwick, which should be in itself exciting as she wrote +it? When she wrote to John Eames, and told "Dear John" that mamma +hoped to have the pleasure of seeing him to tea at such an hour, the +work of writing was of little moment to her, though the note when +written became one of the choicest treasures of him to whom it was +addressed. + +But now the matter was very different. When she saw the words +"Dearest Adolphus" on the paper before her, she was startled with +their significance. "And four months ago I had never even heard of +him," she said to herself, almost with awe. And now he was more to +her, and nearer to her, than even was her sister or her mother! She +recollected how she had laughed at him behind his back, and called +him a swell on the first day of his coming to the Small House, and +how, also, she had striven, in her innocent way, to look her best +when called upon to go out and walk with the stranger from London. +He was no longer a stranger now, but her own dearest friend. + +She had put down her pen that she might think of all this--by no +means for the first time--and then resumed it with a sudden start +as though fearing that the postman might be in the village before +her letter was finished. "Dearest Adolphus, I need not tell you how +delighted I was when your letter was brought to me this morning." +But I will not repeat the whole of her letter here. She had no +incident to relate, none even so interesting as that of Mr. Crosbie's +encounter with Mr. Harding at Barchester. She had met no Lady +Dumbello, and had no counterpart to Lady Alexandrina, of whom, as +a friend, she could say a word in praise. John Eames's name she did +not mention, knowing that John Eames was not a favourite with Mr. +Crosbie; nor had she anything to say of John Eames, that had not been +already said. He had, indeed, promised to come over to Allington; +but this visit had not been made when Lily wrote her first letter to +Crosbie. It was a sweet, good, honest love-letter, full of assurances +of unalterable affection and unlimited confidence, indulging in a +little quiet fun as to the grandees of Courcy Castle, and ending with +a promise that she would be happy and contented if she might receive +his letters constantly, and live with the hope of seeing him at +Christmas. + +"I am in time, Mrs. Crump, am I not?" she said, as she walked into +the post-office. + +"Of course you be,--for the next half-hour. T' postman--he bain't +stirred from t' ale'us yet. Just put it into t' box, wull ye?" + +"But you won't leave it there?" + +"Leave it there! Did you ever hear the like of that? If you're +afeared to put it in, you can take it away; that's all about it, +Miss Lily." And then Mrs. Crump turned away to her avocations at the +washing-tub. Mrs. Crump had a bad temper, but perhaps she had some +excuse. A separate call was made upon her time with reference to +almost every letter brought to her office, and for all this, as she +often told her friends in profound disgust, she received as salary no +more than "tuppence farden a day. It don't find me in shoe-leather; +no more it don't." As Mrs. Crump was never seen out of her own house, +unless it was in church once a month, this latter assertion about her +shoe-leather, could hardly have been true. + +Lily had received another letter, and had answered it before Eames +made his promised visit to Allington. He, as will be remembered, had +also had a correspondence. He had answered Miss Roper's letter, and +had since that been living in fear of two things; in a lesser fear of +some terrible rejoinder from Amelia, and in a greater fear of a more +terrible visit from his lady-love. Were she to swoop down in very +truth upon his Guestwick home, and declare herself to his mother and +sister as his affianced bride, what mode of escape would then be left +for him? But this she had not yet done, nor had she even answered his +cruel missive. + +"What an ass I am to be afraid of her!" he said to himself as he +walked along under the elms of Guestwick manor, which overspread the +road to Allington. When he first went over to Allington after his +return home, he had mounted himself on horseback, and had gone forth +brilliant with spurs, and trusting somewhat to the glories of his +dress and gloves. But he had then known nothing of Lily's engagement. +Now he was contented to walk; and as he had taken up his slouched +hat and stick in the passage of his mother's house, he had been very +indifferent as to his appearance. He walked quickly along the road, +taking for the first three miles the shade of the Guestwick elms, and +keeping his feet on the broad greensward which skirts the outside of +the earl's palings. "What an ass I am to be afraid of her!" And as he +swung his big stick in his hand, striking a tree here and there, and +knocking the stones from his path, he began to question himself in +earnest, and to be ashamed of his position in the world. "Nothing on +earth shall make me marry her," he said; "not if they bring a dozen +actions against me. She knows as well as I do, that I have never +intended to marry her. It's a cheat from beginning to end. If she +comes down here, I'll tell her so before my mother." But as the +vision of her sudden arrival came before his eyes, he acknowledged to +himself that he still held her in great fear. He had told her that he +loved her. He had written as much as that. If taxed with so much, he +must confess his sin. + +Then, by degrees, his mind turned away from Amelia Roper to Lily +Dale, not giving him a prospect much more replete with enjoyment than +that other one. He had said that he would call at Allington before he +returned to town, and he was now redeeming his promise. But he did +not know why he should go there. He felt that he should sit silent +and abashed in Mrs. Dale's drawing-room, confessing by his demeanour +that secret which it behoved him now to hide from every one. He could +not talk easily before Lily, nor could he speak to her of the only +subject which would occupy his thoughts when in her presence. If +indeed, he might find her alone-- But, perhaps that might be worse +for him than any other condition. + +When he was shown into the drawing-room there was nobody there. "They +were here a minute ago, all three," said the servant girl. "If you'll +walk down the garden, Mr. John, you'll be sure to find some of 'em." +So John Eames, with a little hesitation, walked down the garden. + +First of all he went the whole way round the walks, meeting nobody. +Then he crossed the lawn, returning again to the farther end; and +there, emerging from the little path which led from the Great House, +he encountered Lily alone. "Oh, John," she said, "how d'ye do? I'm +afraid you did not find anybody in the house. Mamma and Bell are with +Hopkins, away in the large kitchen-garden." + +"I've just come over," said Eames, "because I promised. I said I'd +come before I went back to London." + +"And they'll be very glad to see you, and so am I. Shall we go after +them into the other grounds? But perhaps you walked over and are +tired." + +"I did walk," said Eames; "not that I am very tired." But in truth +he did not wish to go after Mrs. Dale, though he was altogether at +a loss as to what he would say to Lily while remaining with her. He +had fancied that he would like to have some opportunity of speaking +to her alone before he went away;--of making some special use of the +last interview which he should have with her before she became a +married woman. But now the opportunity was there, and he hardly dared +to avail himself of it. + +"You'll stay and dine with us," said Lily. + +"No, I'll not do that, for I especially told my mother that I would +be back." + +"I'm sure it was very good of you to walk so far to see us. If you +really are not tired, I think we will go to mamma, as she would be +very sorry to miss you." + +This she said, remembering at the moment what had been Crosbie's +injunctions to her about John Eames. But John had resolved that +he would say those words which he had come to speak, and that, as +Lily was there with him, he would avail himself of the chance which +fortune had given him. + +"I don't think I'll go into the squire's garden," he said. + +"Uncle Christopher is not there. He is about the farm somewhere." + +"If you don't mind, Lily, I think I'll stay here. I suppose they'll +be back soon. Of course I should like to see them before I go away to +London. But, Lily, I came over now chiefly to see you. It was you who +asked me to promise." + +Had Crosbie been right in those remarks of his? Had she been +imprudent in her little endeavour to be cordially kind to her old +friend? "Shall we go into the drawing-room?" she said, feeling that +she would be in some degree safer there than out among the shrubs and +paths of the garden. And I think she was right in this. A man will +talk of love out among the lilacs and roses, who would be stricken +dumb by the demure propriety of the four walls of a drawing-room. +John Eames also had some feeling of this kind, for he determined to +remain out in the garden, if he could so manage it. + +"I don't want to go in unless you wish it," he said. "Indeed, I'd +rather stay here. So, Lily, you're going to be married?" And thus he +rushed at once into the middle of his discourse. + +"Yes," said she, "I believe I am." + +"I have not told you yet that I congratulated you." + +"I have known very well that you did so in your heart. I have always +been sure that you wished me well." + +"Indeed I have. And if congratulating a person is hoping that she +may always be happy, I do congratulate you. But, Lily--" And then he +paused, abashed by the beauty, purity, and woman's grace which had +forced him to love her. + +"I think I understand all that you would say. I do not want ordinary +words to tell me that I am to count you among my best friends." + +"No, Lily; you don't understand all that I would say. You have never +known how often and how much I have thought of you; how dearly I have +loved you." + +"John, you must not talk of that now." + +"I cannot go without telling you. When I came over here, and Mrs. +Dale told me that you were to be married to that man--" + +"You must not speak of Mr. Crosbie in that way," she said, turning +upon him almost fiercely. + +"I did not mean to say anything disrespectful of him to you. I should +hate myself if I were to do so. Of course you like him better than +anybody else?" + +"I love him better than all the world besides." + +"And so do I love you better than all the world besides." And as he +spoke he got up from his seat and stood before her. "I know how poor +I am, and unworthy of you; and only that you are engaged to him, +I don't suppose that I should now tell you. Of course you couldn't +accept such a one as me. But I have loved you ever since you +remember; and now that you are going to be his wife, I cannot but +tell you that it is so. You will go and live in London; but as to my +seeing you there, it will be impossible. I could not go into that +man's house." + +"Oh, John." + +"No, never; not if you become his wife. I have loved you as well +as he does. When Mrs. Dale told me of it, I thought I should have +fallen. I went away without seeing you because I was unable to speak +to you. I made a fool of myself, and have been a fool all along. I am +foolish now to tell you this, but I cannot help it." + +"You will forget it all when you meet some girl that you can really +love." + +"And have I not really loved you? Well, never mind. I have said what +I came to say, and I will now go. If it ever happens that we are down +in the country together, perhaps I may see you again; but never in +London. Good-by, Lily." And he put out his hand to her. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "And have I not really loved you?"] + + +"And won't you stay for mamma?" she said. + +"No. Give her my love, and to Bell. They understand all about it. +They will know why I have gone. If ever you should want anybody to do +anything for you, remember that I will do it, whatever it is." And +as he paced away from her across the lawn, the special deed in her +favour to which his mind was turned,--that one thing which he most +longed to do on her behalf,--was an act of corporal chastisement upon +Crosbie. If Crosbie would but ill-treat her,--ill-treat her with +some antenuptial barbarity,--and if only he could be called in to +avenge her wrongs! And as he made his way back along the road towards +Guestwick, he built up within his own bosom a castle in the air, +for her part in which Lily Dale would by no means have thanked him. + +Lily when she was left alone burst into tears. She had certainly +said very little to encourage her forlorn suitor, and had so borne +herself during the interview that even Crosbie could hardly have +been dissatisfied; but now that Eames was gone her heart became very +tender towards him. She felt that she did love him also;--not at +all as she loved Crosbie, but still with a love that was tender, +soft, and true. If Crosbie could have known all her thoughts at that +moment, I doubt whether he would have liked them. She burst into +tears, and then hurried away into some nook where she could not be +seen by her mother and Bell on their return. + +Eames went on his way, walking very quietly, swinging his stick and +kicking through the dust, with his heart full of the scene which had +just passed. He was angry with himself, thinking that he had played +his part badly, accusing himself in that he had been rough to her, +and selfish in the expression of his love; and he was angry with her +because she had declared to him that she loved Crosbie better than +all the world besides. He knew that of course she must do so;--that +at any rate it was to be expected that such was the case. Yet, he +thought, she might have refrained from saying so to him. "She chooses +to scorn me now," he said to himself; "but the time may come when she +will wish that she had scorned him." That Crosbie was wicked, bad, +and selfish, he believed most fully. He felt sure that the man would +ill-use her and make her wretched. He had some slight doubt whether +he would marry her, and from this doubt he endeavoured to draw a +scrap of comfort. If Crosbie would desert her, and if to him might +be accorded the privilege of beating the man to death with his fists +because of this desertion, then the world would not be quite blank +for him. In all this he was no doubt very cruel to Lily;--but then +had not Lily been very cruel to him? + +He was still thinking of these things when he came to the first of +the Guestwick pastures. The boundary of the earl's property was very +plainly marked, for with it commenced also the shady elms along the +roadside, and the broad green margin of turf, grateful equally to +those who walked and to those who rode. Eames had got himself on to +the grass, but, in the fulness of his thoughts, was unconscious of +the change in his path, when he was startled by a voice in the next +field and the loud bellowing of a bull. Lord De Guest's choice cattle +he knew were there, and there was one special bull which was esteemed +by his lordship as of great value, and regarded as a high favourite. +The people about the place declared that the beast was vicious, but +Lord De Guest had often been heard to boast that it was never vicious +with him. "The boys tease him, and the men are almost worse than the +boys," said the earl; "but he'll never hurt any one that has not hurt +him." Guided by faith in his own teaching the earl had taught himself +to look upon his bull as a large, horned, innocent lamb of the flock. + +As Eames paused on the road, he fancied that he recognized the earl's +voice, and it was the voice of one in distress. Then the bull's roar +sounded very plain in his ear, and almost close; upon hearing which +he rushed on to the gate, and, without much thinking what he was +doing, vaulted over it, and advanced a few steps into the field. + +"Halloo!" shouted the earl. "There's a man. Come on." And then his +continued shoutings hardly formed themselves into intelligible words; +but Eames plainly understood that he was invoking assistance under +great pressure and stress of circumstances. The bull was making short +runs at his owner, as though determined in each run to have a toss +at his lordship; and at each run the earl would retreat quickly +for a few paces, but he retreated always facing his enemy, and as +the animal got near to him, would make digs at his face with the +long spud which he carried in his hand. But in thus making good his +retreat he had been unable to keep in a direct line to the gate, +and there seemed to be great danger lest the bull should succeed in +pressing him up against the hedge. "Come on!" shouted the earl, who +was fighting his battle manfully, but was by no means anxious to +carry off all the laurels of the victory himself. "Come on, I say!" +Then he stopped in his path, shouted into the bull's face, brandished +his spud, and threw about his arms, thinking that he might best +dismay the beast by the display of these warlike gestures. + +Johnny Eames ran on gallantly to the peer's assistance, as he would +have run to that of any peasant in the land. He was one to whom I +should be perhaps wrong to attribute at this period of his life the +gift of very high courage. He feared many things which no man should +fear; but he did not fear personal mishap or injury to his own skin +and bones. When Cradell escaped out of the house in Burton Crescent, +making his way through the passage into the outer air, he did so +because he feared that Lupex would beat him or kick him, or otherwise +ill-use him. John Eames would also have desired to escape under +similar circumstances; but he would have so desired because he could +not endure to be looked upon in his difficulties by the people of the +house, and because his imagination would have painted the horrors +of a policeman dragging him off with a black eye and a torn coat. +There was no one to see him now, and no policeman to take offence. +Therefore he rushed to the earl's assistance, brandishing his stick, +and roaring in emulation of the bull. + +When the animal saw with what unfairness he was treated, and that +the number of his foes was doubled, while no assistance had lent +itself on his side, he stood for a while, disgusted by the injustice +of humanity. He stopped, and throwing his head up to the heavens, +bellowed out his complaint. "Don't come close!" said the earl, who +was almost out of breath. "Keep a little apart. Ugh! ugh! whoop, +whoop!" And he threw up his arms manfully, jobbing about with his +spud, ever and anon rubbing the perspiration from off his eyebrows +with the back of his hand. + +As the bull stood pausing, meditating whether under such +circumstances flight would not be preferable to gratified passion, +Eames made a rush in at him, attempting to hit him on the head. The +earl, seeing this, advanced a step also, and got his spud almost up +to the animal's eye. But these indignities the beast could not stand. +He made a charge, bending his head first towards John Eames, and +then, with that weak vacillation which is as disgraceful in a bull +as in a general, he changed his purpose, and turned his horns upon +his other enemy. The consequence was that his steps carried him in +between the two, and that the earl and Eames found themselves for a +while behind his tail. + +"Now for the gate," said the earl. + +"Slowly does it; slowly does it; don't run!" said Johnny, assuming in +the heat of the moment a tone of counsel which would have been very +foreign to him under other circumstances. + +The earl was not a whit offended. "All right," said he, taking with +a backward motion the direction of the gate. Then as the bull again +faced towards him, he jumped from the ground, labouring painfully +with arms and legs, and ever keeping his spud well advanced against +the foe. Eames, holding his position a little apart from his friend, +stooped low and beat the ground with his stick, and as though defying +the creature. The bull felt himself defied, stood still and roared, +and then made another vacillating attack. + +"Hold on till we reach the gate," said Eames. + +"Ugh! ugh! Whoop! whoop!" shouted the earl. And so gradually they +made good their ground. + +"Now get over," said Eames, when they had both reached the corner of +the field in which the gate stood. + +"And what'll you do?" said the earl. + +"I'll go at the hedge to the right." And Johnny as he spoke dashed +his stick about, so as to monopolize, for a moment, the attention of +the brute. The earl made a spring at the gate, and got well on to the +upper rung. The bull seeing that his prey was going, made a final +rush upon the earl and struck the timber furiously with his head, +knocking his lordship down on the other side. Lord De Guest was +already over, but not off the rail; and thus, though he fell, he +fell in safety on the sward beyond the gate. He fell in safety, but +utterly exhausted. Eames, as he had purposed, made a leap almost +sideways at a thick hedge which divided the field from one of the +Guestwick copses. There was a fairly broad ditch, and on the other +side a quickset hedge, which had, however, been weakened and injured +by trespassers at this corner, close to the gate. Eames was young and +active and jumped well. He jumped so well that he carried his body +full into the middle of the quickset, and then scrambled through to +the other side, not without much injury to his clothes, and some +damage also to his hands and face. + +The beast, recovering from his shock against the wooden bars, looked +wistfully at his last retreating enemy, as he still struggled amidst +the bushes. He looked at the ditch and at the broken hedge, but he +did not understand how weak were the impediments in his way. He had +knocked his head against the stout timber, which was strong enough +to oppose him, but was dismayed by the brambles which he might have +trodden under foot without an effort. How many of us are like the +bull, turning away conquered by opposition which should be as nothing +to us, and breaking our feet, and worse still, our hearts, against +rocks of adamant. The bull at last made up his mind that he did not +dare to face the hedge; so he gave one final roar, and then turning +himself round, walked placidly back amidst the herd. + +Johnny made his way on to the road by a stile that led out of the +copse, and was soon standing over the earl, while the blood ran down +his cheeks from the scratches. One of the legs of his trowsers had +been caught by a stake, and was torn from the hip downward, and his +hat was left in the field, the only trophy for the bull. "I hope +you're not hurt, my lord," he said. + +"Oh dear, no; but I'm terribly out of breath. Why, you're bleeding +all over. He didn't get at you, did he?" + +"It's only the thorns in the hedge," said Johnny, passing his hand +over his face. "But I've lost my hat." + +"There are plenty more hats," said the earl. + +"I think I'll have a try for it," said Johnny, with whom the means of +getting hats had not been so plentiful as with the earl. "He looks +quiet now." And he moved towards the gate. + +But Lord De Guest jumped upon his feet, and seized the young man by +the collar of his coat. "Go after your hat!" said he. "You must be +a fool to think of it. If you're afraid of catching cold, you shall +have mine." + +"I'm not the least afraid of catching cold," said Johnny. "Is he +often like that, my lord?" And he made a motion with his head towards +the bull. + +"The gentlest creature alive; he's like a lamb generally--just like a +lamb. Perhaps he saw my red pocket-handkerchief." And Lord De Guest +showed his friend that he carried such an article. "But where should +I have been if you hadn't come up?" + +"You'd have got to the gate, my lord." + +"Yes; with my feet foremost, and four men carrying me. I'm very +thirsty. You don't happen to carry a flask, do you?" + +"No, my lord, I don't." + +"Then we'll make the best of our way home, and have a glass of wine +there." And on this occasion his lordship intended that his offer +should be accepted. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +LORD DE GUEST AT HOME. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +The earl and John Eames, after their escape from the bull, walked up +to the Manor House together. "You can write a note to your mother, +and I'll send it by one of the boys," said the earl. This was his +lordship's answer when Eames declined to dine at the Manor House, +because he would be expected home. + +"But I'm so badly off for clothes, my lord," pleaded Johnny. "I tore +my trowsers in the hedge." + +"There will be nobody there beside us two and Dr. Crofts. The doctor +will forgive you when he hears the story; and as for me, I didn't +care if you hadn't a stitch to your back. You'll have company back to +Guestwick, so come along." + +Eames had no further excuse to offer, and therefore did as he was +bidden. He was by no means as much at home with the earl now as +during those minutes of the combat. He would rather have gone home, +being somewhat ashamed of being seen in his present tattered and +bare-headed condition by the servants of the house; and moreover, his +mind would sometimes revert to the scene which had taken place in the +garden at Allington. But he found himself obliged to obey the earl, +and so he walked on with him through the woods. + +The earl did not say very much, being tired and somewhat thoughtful. +In what little he did say he seemed to be specially hurt by the +ingratitude of the bull towards himself. "I never teased him, or +annoyed him in any way." + +"I suppose they are dangerous beasts?" said Eames. + +"Not a bit of it, if they're properly treated. It must have been my +handkerchief, I suppose. I remember that I did blow my nose." + +He hardly said a word in the way of thanks to his assistant. "Where +should I have been if you had not come to me?" he had exclaimed +immediately after his deliverance; but having said that he didn't +think it necessary to say much more to Eames. But he made himself +very pleasant, and by the time he had reached the house his companion +was almost glad that he had been forced to dine at the Manor House. +"And now we'll have a drink," said the earl. "I don't know how you +feel, but I never was so thirsty in my life." + +Two servants immediately showed themselves, and evinced some surprise +at Johnny's appearance. "Has the gentleman hurt hisself, my lord?" +asked the butler, looking at the blood upon our friend's face. + +"He has hurt his trowsers the worst, I believe," said the earl. "And +if he was to put on any of mine they'd be too short and too big, +wouldn't they? I am sorry you should be so uncomfortable, but you +mustn't mind it for once." + +"I don't mind it a bit," said Johnny. + +"And I'm sure I don't," said the earl. "Mr. Eames is going to dine +here, Vickers." + +"Yes, my lord." + +"And his hat is down in the middle of the nineteen acres. Let three +or four men go for it." + +"Three or four men, my lord!" + +"Yes,--three or four men. There's something gone wrong with that +bull. And you must get a boy with a pony to take a note into +Guestwick, to Mrs. Eames. Oh dear, I'm better now," and he put down +the tumbler from which he'd been drinking. "Write your note here, and +then we'll go and see my pet pheasants before dinner." + +Vickers and the footman knew that something had happened of +much moment, for the earl was usually very particular about his +dinner-table. He expected every guest who sat there to be dressed in +such guise as the fashion of the day demanded; and he himself, though +his morning costume was by no means brilliant, never dined, even when +alone, without having put himself into a suit of black, with a white +cravat, and having exchanged the old silver hunting-watch which he +carried during the day tied round his neck by a bit of old ribbon, +for a small gold watch, with a chain and seals, which in the evening +always dangled over his waistcoat. Dr. Gruffen had once been asked to +dinner at Guestwick Manor. "Just a bachelor's chop," said the earl; +"for there's nobody at home but myself." Whereupon Dr. Gruffen had +come in coloured trowsers,--and had never again been asked to dine +at Guestwick Manor. All this Vickers knew well; and now his lordship +had brought young Eames home to dine with him with his clothes all +hanging about him in a manner which Vickers declared in the servants' +hall wasn't more than half decent. Therefore, they all knew that +something very particular must have happened. "It's some trouble +about the bull, I know," said Vickers;--"but bless you, the bull +couldn't have tore his things in that way!" + +Eames wrote his note, in which he told his mother that he had had an +adventure with Lord De Guest, and that his lordship had insisted on +bringing him home to dinner. "I have torn my trowsers all to pieces," +he added in a postscript, "and have lost my hat. Everything else is +all right." He was not aware that the earl also sent a short note to +Mrs. Eames. + + + DEAR MADAM [ran the earl's note],-- + + Your son has, under Providence, probably saved my life. + I will leave the story for him to tell. He has been + good enough to accompany me home, and will return to + Guestwick after dinner with Dr. Crofts, who dines here. I + congratulate you on having a son with so much cool courage + and good feeling. + + Your very faithful servant, + + DE GUEST. + + Guestwick Manor, + Thursday, October, 186--. + + +And then they went to see the pheasants. "Now, I'll tell you what," +said the earl. "I advise you to take to shooting. It's the amusement +of a gentleman when a man chances to have the command of game." + +"But I'm always up in London." + +"No, you're not. You're not up in London now. You always have your +holidays. If you choose to try it, I'll see that you have shooting +enough while you're here. It's better than going to sleep under the +trees. Ha, ha, ha! I wonder what made you lay yourself down there. +You hadn't been fighting a bull that day?" + +"No, my lord. I hadn't seen the bull then." + +"Well; you think of what I've been saying. When I say a thing, I mean +it. You shall have shooting enough, if you have a mind to try it." +Then they looked at the pheasants, and pottered about the place till +the earl said it was time to dress for dinner. "That's hard upon you, +isn't it?" said he. "But, at any rate, you can wash your hands, and +get rid of the blood. I'll be down in the little drawing-room five +minutes before seven, and I suppose I'll find you there." + +At five minutes before seven Lord De Guest came into the small +drawing-room, and found Johnny seated there, with a book before him. +The earl was a little fussy, and showed by his manner that he was not +quite at his ease, as some men do when they have any piece of work on +hand which is not customary to them. He held something in his hand, +and shuffled a little as he made his way up the room. He was dressed, +as usual, in black; but his gold chain was not, as usual, dangling +over his waistcoat. + +"Eames," he said, "I want you to accept a little present from +me,--just as a memorial of our affair with the bull. It will make you +think of it sometimes, when I'm perhaps gone." + +"Oh, my lord--" + +"It's my own watch, that I have been wearing for some time; but +I've got another;--two or three, I believe, somewhere upstairs. You +mustn't refuse me. I can't bear being refused. There are two or three +little seals, too, which I have worn. I have taken off the one with +my arms, because that's of no use to you, and it is to me. It doesn't +want a key, but winds up at the handle, in this way," and the earl +proceeded to explain the nature of the toy. + +"My lord, you think too much of what happened to-day," said Eames, +stammering. + +"No, I don't; I think very little about it. I know what I think of. +Put the watch in your pocket before the doctor comes. There; I hear +his horse. Why didn't he drive over, and then he could have taken you +back?" + +"I can walk very well." + +"I'll make that all right. The servant shall ride Crofts' horse, +and bring back the little phaeton. How d'you do, doctor? You know +Eames, I suppose? You needn't look at him in that way. His leg is not +broken; it's only his trowsers." And then the earl told the story of +the bull. + +"Johnny will become quite a hero in town," said Crofts. + +"Yes; I fear he'll get the most of the credit; and yet I was at it +twice as long as he was. I'll tell you what, young men, when I got +to that gate I didn't think I'd breath enough left in me to get +over it. It's all very well jumping into a hedge when you're only +two-and-twenty; but when a man comes to be sixty he likes to take his +time about such things. Dinner ready, is it? So am I. I quite forgot +that mutton chop of yours to-day, doctor. But I suppose a man may eat +a good dinner after a fight with a bull?" + +The evening passed by without any very pleasurable excitement, and I +regret to say that the earl went fast to sleep in the drawing-room as +soon as he had swallowed his cup of coffee. During dinner he had been +very courteous to both his guests, but towards Eames he had used a +good-humoured and almost affectionate familiarity. He had quizzed him +for having been found asleep under the tree, telling Crofts that he +had looked very forlorn,--"So that I haven't a doubt about his being +in love," said the earl. And he had asked Johnny to tell the name +of the fair one, bringing up the remnants of his half-forgotten +classicalities to bear out the joke. "If I am to take more of the +severe Falernian," said he, laying his hand on the decanter of port, +"I must know the lady's name. Whoever she be, I'm well sure you need +not blush for her. What! you refuse to tell! Then I'll drink no +more." And so the earl had walked out of the dining-room; but not +till he had perceived by his guest's cheeks that the joke had been +too true to be pleasant. As he went, however, he leaned with his hand +on Eames's shoulder, and the servants looking on saw that the young +man was to be a favourite. "He'll make him his heir," said Vickers. +"I shouldn't wonder a bit if he don't make him his heir." But to this +the footman objected, endeavouring to prove to Mr. Vickers that, in +accordance with the law of the land, his lordship's second cousin, +once removed, whom the earl had never seen, but whom he was supposed +to hate, must be his heir. "A hearl can never choose his own heir, +like you or me," said the footman, laying down the law. "Can't he +though really, now? That's very hard on him; isn't it?" said the +pretty housemaid. "Psha," said Vickers: "you know nothing about it. +My lord could make young Eames his heir to-morrow; that is, the heir +of his property. He couldn't make him a hearl, because that must go +to the heirs of his body. As to his leaving him the place here, I +don't just know how that'd be; and I'm sure Richard don't." + +"But suppose he hasn't got any heirs of his body?" asked the pretty +housemaid, who was rather fond of putting down Mr. Vickers. + +"He must have heirs of his body," said the butler. "Everybody has +'em. If a man don't know 'em himself, the law finds 'em out." And +then Mr. Vickers walked away, avoiding further dispute. + +In the meantime, the earl was asleep upstairs, and the two young men +from Guestwick did not find that they could amuse themselves with any +satisfaction. Each took up a book; but there are times at which a +man is quite unable to read, and when a book is only a cover for his +idleness or dulness. At last, Dr. Crofts suggested, in a whisper, +that they might as well begin to think of going home. + +"Eh; yes; what?" said the earl: "I'm not asleep." In answer to +which the doctor said that he thought he'd go home, if his lordship +would let him order his horse. But the earl was again fast bound in +slumber, and took no further notice of the proposition. + +"Perhaps we could get off without waking him," suggested Eames, in a +whisper. + +"Eh; what?" said the earl. So they both resumed their books, and +submitted themselves to their martyrdom for a further period of +fifteen minutes. At the expiration of that time, the footman brought +in tea. + +"Eh, what? tea!" said the earl. "Yes, we'll have a little tea. I've +heard every word you've been saying." It was that assertion on the +part of the earl which always made Lady Julia so angry. "You cannot +have heard what I have been saying, Theodore, because I have said +nothing," she would reply. "But I should have heard it if you had," +the earl would rejoin, snappishly. On the present occasion neither +Crofts nor Eames contradicted him, and he took his tea and swallowed +it while still three parts asleep. + +"If you'll allow me, my lord, I think I'll order my horse," said the +doctor. + +"Yes; horse--yes--" said the earl, nodding. + +"But what are you to do, Eames, if I ride?" said the doctor. + +"I'll walk," whispered Eames, in his very lowest voice. + +"What--what--what?" said the earl, jumping up on his feet. "Oh, ah, +yes; going away, are you? I suppose you might as well, as sit here +and see me sleeping. But, doctor--I didn't snore, did I?" + +"Only occasionally." + +"Not loud, did I? Come, Eames, did I snore loud?" + +"Well, my lord, you did snore rather loud two or three times." + +"Did I?" said the earl, in a voice of great disappointment. "And yet, +do you know, I heard every word you said." + +The small phaeton had been already ordered, and the two young men +started back to Guestwick together, a servant from the house riding +the doctor's horse behind them. "Look here, Eames," said the earl, as +they parted on the steps of the hall door. "You're going back to town +the day after to-morrow, you say, so I shan't see you again?" + +"No, my lord," said Johnny. + +"Look you here, now. I shall be up for the Cattle-show before +Christmas. You must dine with me at my hotel, on the twenty-second +of December, Pawkins's, in Jermyn Street; seven o'clock, sharp. Mind +you do not forget, now. Put it down in your pocket-book when you get +home. Good-by, doctor; good-by. I see I must stick to that mutton +chop in the middle of the day." And then they drove off. + +"He'll make him his heir for certain," said Vickers to himself, as he +slowly returned to his own quarters. + +"You were returning from Allington, I suppose," said Crofts, "when +you came across Lord De Guest and the bull?" + +"Yes: I just walked over to say good-by to them." + +"Did you find them all well?" + +"I only saw one. The other two were out." + +"Mrs. Dale, was it?" + +"No; it was Lily." + +"Sitting alone, thinking of her fine London lover, of course? I +suppose we ought to look upon her as a very lucky girl. I have no +doubt she thinks herself so." + +"I'm sure I don't know," said Johnny. + +"I believe he's a very good young man," said the doctor; "but I can't +say I quite liked his manner." + +"I should think not," said Johnny. + +"But then in all probability he did not like mine a bit better, or +perhaps yours either. And if so it's all fair." + +"I don't see that it's a bit fair. He's a snob," said Eames; "and I +don't believe that I am." He had taken a glass or two of the earl's +"severe Falernian," and was disposed to a more generous confidence, +and perhaps also to stronger language, than might otherwise have been +the case. + +"No; I don't think he is a snob," said Crofts. "Had he been so, Mrs. +Dale would have perceived it." + +"You'll see," said Johnny, touching up the earl's horse with energy +as he spoke. "You'll see. A man who gives himself airs is a snob; and +he gives himself airs. And I don't believe he's a straightforward +fellow. It was a bad day for us all when he came among them at +Allington." + +"I can't say that I see that." + +"I do. But mind, I haven't spoken a word of this to any one. And +I don't mean. What would be the good? I suppose she must marry him +now?" + +"Of course she must." + +"And be wretched all her life. Oh-h-h-h!" and he muttered a deep +groan. "I'll tell you what it is, Crofts. He is going to take the +sweetest girl out of this country that ever was in it, and he don't +deserve her." + +"I don't think she can be compared to her sister," said Crofts +slowly. + +"What; not Lily?" said Eames, as though the proposition made by the +doctor were one that could not hold water for a minute. + +"I have always thought that Bell was the more admired of the two," +said Crofts. + +"I'll tell you what," said Eames. "I have never yet set my eyes on +any human creature whom I thought so beautiful as Lily Dale. And now +that beast is going to marry her! I'll tell you what, Crofts; I'll +manage to pick a quarrel with him yet." Whereupon the doctor, seeing +the nature of the complaint from which his companion was suffering, +said nothing more, either about Lily or about Bell. + +Soon after this Eames was at his own door, and was received there by +his mother and sister with all the enthusiasm due to a hero. "He has +saved the earl's life!" Mrs. Eames had exclaimed to her daughter on +reading Lord De Guest's note. "Oh, goodness!" and she threw herself +back upon the sofa almost in a fainting condition. + +"Saved Lord De Guest's life!" said Mary. + +"Yes--under Providence," said Mrs. Eames, as though that latter fact +added much to her son's good deed. + +"But how did he do it?" + +"By cool courage and good feeling--so his lordship says. But I wonder +how he really did do it?" + +"Whatever way it was, he's torn all his clothes and lost his hat," +said Mary. + +"I don't care a bit about that," said Mrs. Eames. "I wonder whether +the earl has any interest at the Income-tax. + +"What a thing it would be if he could get Johnny a step. It would be +seventy pounds a year at once. He was quite right to stay and dine +when his lordship asked him. And so Dr. Crofts is there. It couldn't +have been anything in the doctoring way, I suppose." + +"No, I should say not; because of what he says of his trowsers." And +so the two ladies were obliged to wait for John's return. + +"How did you do it, John?" said his mother, embracing him, as soon as +the door was opened. + +"How did you save the earl's life?" said Mary, who was standing +behind her mother. + +"Would his lordship really have been killed, if it had not been for +you?" asked Mrs. Eames. + +"And was he very much hurt?" asked Mary. + +"Oh, bother," said Johnny, on whom the results of the day's work, +together with the earl's Falernian, had made some still remaining +impression. On ordinary occasions, Mrs. Eames would have felt hurt at +being so answered by her son; but at the present moment she regarded +him as standing so high in general favour that she took no offence. +"Oh, Johnny, do tell us. Of course we must be very anxious to know it +all." + +"There's nothing to tell, except that a bull ran at the earl, as I +was going by; so I went into the field and helped him, and then he +made me stay and dine with him." + +"But his lordship says that you saved his life," said Mary. + +"Under Providence," added their mother. + +"At any rate, he has given me a gold watch and chain," said Johnny, +drawing the present out of his pocket. "I wanted a watch badly. All +the same, I didn't like taking it." + +"It would have been very wrong to refuse," said his mother. "And I +am so glad you have been so fortunate. And look here, Johnny: when +a friend like that comes in your way, don't turn your back on him." +Then, at last, he thawed beneath their kindness, and told them the +whole of the story. I fear that in recounting the earl's efforts with +the spud, he hardly spoke of his patron with all that deference which +would have been appropriate. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +MR. PLANTAGENET PALLISER. + + +A week passed over Mr. Crosbie's head at Courcy Castle without much +inconvenience to him from the well-known fact of his matrimonial +engagement. Both George De Courcy and John De Courcy had in their +different ways charged him with his offence, and endeavoured to annoy +him by recurring to the subject; but he did not care much for the +wit or malice of George or John De Courcy. The countess had hardly +alluded to Lily Dale after those few words which she said on the +first day of his visit, and seemed perfectly willing to regard his +doings at Allington as the occupation natural to a young man in such +a position. He had been seduced down to a dull country house, and +had, as a matter of course, taken to such amusements as the place +afforded. He had shot the partridges and made love to the young lady, +taking those little recreations as compensation for the tedium of the +squire's society. Perhaps he had gone a little too far with the young +lady; but then no one knew better than the countess how difficult it +is for a young man to go far enough without going too far. It was not +her business to make herself a censor on a young man's conduct. The +blame, no doubt, rested quite as much with Miss Dale as with him. She +was quite sorry that any young lady should be disappointed; but if +girls will be imprudent, and set their caps at men above their mark, +they must encounter disappointment. With such language did Lady De +Courcy speak of the affair among her daughters, and her daughters +altogether agreed with her that it was out of the question that +Mr. Crosbie should marry Lily Dale. From Alexandrina he encountered +during the week none of that raillery which he had expected. He +had promised to explain to her before he left the castle all the +circumstances of his acquaintance with Lily, and she at last showed +herself determined to demand the fulfilment of this promise; but, +previous to that, she said nothing to manifest either offence or a +lessened friendship. And I regret to say, that in the intercourse +which had taken place between them, that friendship was by no means +less tender that it had been in London. + +"And when will you tell me what you promised?" she asked him one +afternoon, speaking in a low voice, as they were standing together at +the window of the billiard-room, in that idle half-hour which always +occurs before the necessity for dinner preparation has come. She had +been riding and was still in her habit, and he had returned from +shooting. She knew that she looked more than ordinarily well in her +tall straight hat and riding gear, and was wont to hang about the +house, walking skilfully with her upheld drapery, during this period +of the day. It was dusk, but not dark, and there was no artificial +light in the billiard-room. There had been some pretence of knocking +about the balls, but it had been only pretence. "Even Diana," she had +said, "could not have played billiards in a habit." Then she had put +down her mace, and they had stood talking together in the recess of a +large bow-window. + +"And what did I promise?" said Crosbie. + +"You know well enough. Not that it is a matter of any special +interest to me; only, as you undertook to promise, of course my +curiosity has been raised." + +"If it be of no special interest," said Crosbie, "you will not object +to absolve me from my promise." + +"That is just like you," she said. "And how false you men always are. +You made up your mind to buy my silence on a distasteful subject by +pretending to offer me your future confidence; and now you tell me +that you do not mean to confide in me." + +"You begin by telling me that the matter is one that does not in the +least interest you." + +"That is so false again! You know very well what I meant. Do you +remember what you said to me the day you came? and am I not bound to +tell you after that, that your marriage with this or that young lady +is not matter of special interest to me? Still, as your friend--" + +"Well, as my friend!" + +"I shall be glad to know--. But I am not going to beg for your +confidence; only I tell you this fairly, that no man is so mean in my +eyes as a man who fights under false colours." + +"And am I fighting under false colours?" + +"Yes, you are." And now, as she spoke, the Lady Alexandrina blushed +beneath her hat; and dull as was the remaining light of the evening, +Crosbie, looking into her face, saw her heightened colour. "Yes, you +are. A gentleman is fighting under false colours who comes into a +house like this, with a public rumour of his being engaged, and then +conducts himself as though nothing of the kind existed. Of course, +it is not anything to me specially; but that is fighting under false +colours. Now, sir, you may redeem the promise you made me when you +first came here,--or you may let it alone." + +It must be acknowledged that the lady was fighting her battle with +much courage, and also with some skill. In three or four days Crosbie +would be gone; and this victory, if it were ever to be gained, must +be gained in those three or four days. And if there were to be no +victory, then it would be only fair that Crosbie should be punished +for his duplicity, and that she should be avenged as far as any +revenge might be in her power. Not that she meditated any deep +revenge, or was prepared to feel any strong anger. She liked Crosbie +as well as she had ever liked any man. She believed that he liked her +also. She had no conception of any very strong passion, but conceived +that a married life was more pleasant than one of single bliss. She +had no doubt that he had promised to make Lily Dale his wife, but +so had he previously promised her, or nearly so. It was a fair game, +and she would win it if she could. If she failed, she would show her +anger; but she would show it in a mild, weak manner,--turning up her +nose at Lily before Crosbie's face, and saying little things against +himself behind his back. Her wrath would not carry her much beyond +that. + +"Now, sir, you may redeem the promise you made me when you first came +here,--or you may let it alone." So she spoke, and then she turned +her face away from him, gazing out into the darkness. + +"Alexandrina!" he said. + +"Well, sir? But you have no right to speak to me in that style. You +know that you have no right to call me by my name in that way!" + +"You mean that you insist upon your title?" + +"All ladies insist on what you call their title, from gentlemen, +except under the privilege of greater intimacy than you have the +right to claim. You did not call Miss Dale by her Christian name till +you had obtained permission, I suppose?" + +"You used to let me call you so." + +"Never! Once or twice, when you have done so, I have not forbidden +it, as I should have done. Very well, sir, as you have nothing to +tell me, I will leave you. I must confess that I did not think you +were such a coward." And she prepared to go, gathering up the skirts +of her habit, and taking up the whip which she had laid on the +window-sill. + +"Stay a moment, Alexandrina," he said; "I am not happy, and you +should not say words intended to make me more miserable." + +"And why are you unhappy?" + +"Because-- I will tell you instantly, if I may believe that I am +telling you only, and not the whole household." + +"Of course I shall not talk of it to others. Do you think that I +cannot keep a secret?" + +"It is because I have promised to marry one woman, and because I love +another. I have told you everything now; and if you choose to say +again that I am fighting under false colours I will leave the castle +before you can see me again." + +"Mr. Crosbie!" + +"Now you know it all, and may imagine whether or no I am very happy. +I think you said it was time to dress;--suppose we go?" And without +further speech the two went off to their separate rooms. + +Crosbie, as soon as he was alone in his chamber, sat himself down in +his arm-chair, and went to work striving to make up his mind as to +his future conduct. It must not be supposed that the declaration just +made by him had been produced solely by his difficulty at the moment. +The atmosphere of Courcy Castle had been at work upon him for the +last week past. And every word that he had heard, and every word +that he had spoken, had tended to destroy all that was good and true +within him, and to foster all that was selfish and false. He had said +to himself a dozen times during that week that he never could be +happy with Lily Dale, and that he never could make her happy. And +then he had used the old sophistry in his endeavour to teach himself +that it was right to do that which he wished to do. Would it not be +better for Lily that he should desert her, than marry her against +the dictates of his own heart? And if he really did not love her, +would he not be committing a greater crime in marrying her than in +deserting her? He confessed to himself that he had been very wrong in +allowing the outer world to get such a hold upon him that the love of +a pure girl like Lily could not suffice for his happiness. But there +was the fact, and he found himself unable to contend against it. If +by any absolute self-sacrifice he could secure Lily's well-being, he +would not hesitate for a moment. But would it be well to sacrifice +her as well as himself? + +He had discussed the matter in this way within his own breast, till +he had almost taught himself to believe that it was his duty to break +off his engagement with Lily; and he had also almost taught himself +to believe that a marriage with a daughter of the house of Courcy +would satisfy his ambition and assist him in his battle with the +world. That Lady Alexandrina would accept him he felt certain, if he +could only induce her to forgive him for his sin in becoming engaged +to Miss Dale. How very prone she would be to forgiveness in this +matter, he had not divined, having not as yet learned how easily such +a woman can forgive such a sin, if the ultimate triumph be accorded +to herself. + +And there was another reason which operated much with Crosbie, urging +him on in his present mood and wishes, though it should have given +an exactly opposite impulse to his heart. He had hesitated as to +marrying Lily Dale at once, because of the smallness of his income. +Now he had a prospect of considerable increase to that income. +One of the commissioners at his office had been promoted to some +greater commissionership, and it was understood by everybody that +the secretary at the General Committee Office would be the new +commissioner. As to that there was no doubt. But then the question +had arisen as to the place of secretary. Crosbie had received two or +three letters on the subject, and it seemed that the likelihood of +his obtaining this step in the world was by no means slight. It would +increase his official income from seven hundred a year to twelve, and +would place him altogether above the world. His friend, the present +secretary, had written to him, assuring him that no other probable +competitor was spoken of as being in the field against him. If such +good fortune awaited him, would it not smooth any present difficulty +which lay in the way of his marriage with Lily Dale? But, alas, he +had not looked at the matter in that light! Might not the countess +help him to this preferment? And if his destiny intended for him +the good things of this world,--secretaryships, commissionerships, +chairmanships, and such like, would it not be well that he should +struggle on in his upward path by such assistance as good connections +might give him? + +He sat thinking over it all in his own room on that evening. He had +written twice to Lily since his arrival at Courcy Castle. His first +letter has been given. His second was written much in the same tone; +though Lily, as she had read it, had unconsciously felt somewhat +less satisfied than she had been with the first. Expressions of +love were not wanting, but they were vague and without heartiness. +They savoured of insincerity, though there was nothing in the words +themselves to convict them. Few liars can lie with the full roundness +and self-sufficiency of truth; and Crosbie, bad as he was, had not +yet become bad enough to reach that perfection. He had said nothing +to Lily of the hopes of promotion which had been opened to him; but +he had again spoken of his own worldliness--acknowledging that he +received an unsatisfying satisfaction from the pomps and vanities of +Courcy Castle. In fact he was paving the way for that which he had +almost resolved that he would do, now he had told Lady Alexandrina +that he loved her; and he was obliged to confess to himself that the +die was cast. + +As he thought of all this, there was not wanting to him some of the +satisfaction of an escape. Soon after making that declaration of love +at Allington he had begun to feel that in making it he had cut his +throat. He had endeavoured to persuade himself that he could live +comfortably with his throat cut in that way; and as long as Lily was +with him he would believe that he could do so; but as soon as he was +again alone he would again accuse himself of suicide. This was his +frame of mind even while he was yet at Allington, and his ideas on +the subject had become stronger during his sojourn at Courcy. But the +self-immolation had not been completed, and he now began to think +that he could save himself. I need hardly say that this was not all +triumph to him. Even had there been no material difficulty as to his +desertion of Lily,--no uncle, cousin, and mother whose anger he must +face,--no vision of a pale face, more eloquent of wrong in its +silence than even uncle, cousin, and mother, with their indignant +storm of words,--he was not altogether heartless. How should he tell +all this to the girl who had loved him so well; who had so loved him, +that, as he himself felt, her love would fashion all her future life +either for weal or for woe? "I am unworthy of her, and will tell +her so," he said to himself. How many a false hound of a man has +endeavoured to salve his own conscience by such mock humility? But +he acknowledged at this moment, as he rose from his seat to dress +himself, that the die was cast, and that it was open to him now to +say what he pleased to Lady Alexandrina. "Others have gone through +the same fire before," he said to himself, as he walked downstairs, +"and have come out scatheless." And then he recalled to himself the +names of various men of high repute in the world who were supposed to +have committed in their younger days some such little mistake as that +into which he had been betrayed. + +In passing through the hall he overtook Lady Julia De Guest, and +was in time to open for her the door of the drawing-room. He then +remembered that she had come into the billiard-room at one side, and +had gone out at the other, while he was standing with Alexandrina at +the window. He had not, however, then thought much of Lady Julia; and +as he now stood for her to pass by him through the door-way, he made +to her some indifferent remark. + +But Lady Julia was on some subjects a stern woman, and not without +a certain amount of courage. In the last week she had seen what had +been going on, and had become more and more angry. Though she had +disowned any family connection with Lily Dale, nevertheless she now +felt for her sympathy and almost affection. Nearly every day she had +repeated stiffly to the countess some incident of Crosbie's courtship +and engagement to Miss Dale,--speaking of it as with absolute +knowledge, as a thing settled at all points. This she had done to the +countess alone, in the presence of the countess and Alexandrina, and +also before all the female guests of the castle. But what she had +said was received simply with an incredulous smile. "Dear me! Lady +Julia," the countess had replied at last, "I shall begin to think you +are in love with Mr. Crosbie yourself; you harp so constantly on this +affair of his. One would think that young ladies in your part of the +world must find it very difficult to get husbands, seeing that the +success of one young lady is trumpeted so loudly." For the moment, +Lady Julia was silenced; but it was not easy to silence her +altogether when she had a subject for speech near her heart. + +Almost all the Courcy world were assembled in the drawing-room as +she now walked into the room with Crosbie at her heels. When she +found herself near the crowd she turned round, and addressed him in +a voice more audible than that generally required for purposes of +drawing-room conversation. "Mr. Crosbie," she said, "have you heard +lately from our dear friend, Lily Dale?" And she looked him full in +the face, in a manner more significant, probably, than even she had +intended it to be. There was, at once, a general hush in the room, +and all eyes were turned upon her and upon him. + +Crosbie instantly made an effort to bear the attack gallantly, but he +felt that he could not quite command his colour, or prevent a sudden +drop of perspiration from showing itself upon his brow. "I had a +letter from Allington yesterday," he said. "I suppose you have heard +of your brother's encounter with the bull?" + +"The bull!" said Lady Julia. And it was instantly manifest to all +that her attack had been foiled and her flank turned. + +"Good gracious! Lady Julia, how very odd you are!" said the countess. + +"But what about the bull?" asked the Honourable George. + +"It seems that the earl was knocked down in the middle of one of his +own fields." + +"Oh, dear!" exclaimed Alexandrina. And sundry other exclamations were +made by all the assembled ladies. + +"But he wasn't hurt," said Crosbie. "A young man named Eames seems to +have fallen from the sky and carried off the earl on his back." + +"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" growled the other earl, as he heard of the +discomfiture of his brother peer. + +Lady Julia, who had received her own letters that day from Guestwick, +knew that nothing of importance had happened to her brother; but she +felt that she was foiled for that time. + +"I hope that there has not really been any accident," said Mr. +Gazebee, with a voice of great solicitude. + +"My brother was quite well last night, thank you," said she. And then +the little groups again formed themselves, and Lady Julia was left +alone on the corner of a sofa. + +"Was that all an invention of yours, sir?" said Alexandrina to +Crosbie. + +"Not quite. I did get a letter this morning from my friend Bernard +Dale,--that old harridan's nephew; and Lord De Guest has been worried +by some of his animals. I wish I had told her that his stupid old +neck had been broken." + +"Fie, Mr. Crosbie!" + +"What business has she to interfere with me?" + +"But I mean to ask the same question that she asked, and you won't +put me off with a cock-and-bull story like that." But then, as she +was going to ask the question, dinner was announced. + +"And is it true that De Guest has been tossed by a bull?" said the +earl, as soon as the ladies were gone. He had spoken nothing during +dinner except what words he had muttered into the ear of Lady +Dumbello. It was seldom that conversation had many charms for him in +his own house; but there was a savour of pleasantry in the idea of +Lord De Guest having been tossed, by which even he was tickled. + +"Only knocked down, I believe," said Crosbie. + +"Ha, ha, ha!" growled the earl; then he filled his glass, and allowed +some one else to pass the bottle. Poor man! There was not much left +to him now in the world which did amuse him. + +"I don't see anything to laugh at," said Plantagenet Palliser, who +was sitting at the earl's right hand, opposite to Lord Dumbello. + +"Don't you?" said the earl. "Ha, ha, ha!" + +"I'll be shot if I do. From all I hear De Guest is an uncommon good +farmer. And I don't see the joke of tossing a farmer merely because +he's a nobleman also. Do you?" and he turned round to Mr. Gazebee, +who was sitting on the other side. The earl was an earl, and was also +Mr. Gazebee's father-in-law. Mr. Plantagenet Palliser was the heir to +a dukedom. Therefore, Mr. Gazebee merely simpered, and did not answer +the question put to him. Mr. Palliser said nothing more about it, nor +did the earl; and then the joke died away. + +Mr. Plantagenet Palliser was the Duke of Omnium's heir--heir to +that nobleman's title and to his enormous wealth; and, therefore, +was a man of mark in the world. He sat in the House of Commons, of +course. He was about five-and-twenty years of age, and was, as yet, +unmarried. He did not hunt or shoot or keep a yacht, and had been +heard to say that he had never put a foot upon a race-course in his +life. He dressed very quietly, never changing the colour or form of +his garments; and in society was quiet, reserved, and very often +silent. He was tall, slight, and not ill-looking; but more than this +cannot be said for his personal appearance--except, indeed, this, +that no one could mistake him for other than a gentleman. With his +uncle, the duke, he was on good terms--that is to say, they had never +quarrelled. A very liberal allowance had been made to the nephew; but +the two relatives had no tastes in common, and did not often meet. +Once a year Mr. Palliser visited the duke at his great country seat +for two or three days, and usually dined with him two or three times +during the season in London. Mr. Palliser sat for a borough which was +absolutely under the duke's command; but had accepted his seat under +the distinct understanding that he was to take whatever part in +politics might seem good to himself. Under these well-understood +arrangements, the duke and his heir showed to the world quite a +pattern of a happy family. "So different to the earl and Lord +Porlock!" the people of West Barsetshire used to say. For the +estates, both of the duke and of the earl, were situated in the +western division of that county. + +Mr. Palliser was chiefly known to the world as a rising politician. +We may say that he had everything at his command, in the way of +pleasure, that the world could offer him. He had wealth, position, +power, and the certainty of attaining the highest rank among, +perhaps, the most brilliant nobility of the world. He was courted by +all who could get near enough to court him. It is hardly too much +to say that he might have selected a bride from all that was most +beautiful and best among English women. If he would have bought +race-horses, and have expended thousands on the turf, he would have +gratified his uncle by doing so. He might have been the master +of hounds, or the slaughterer of hecatombs of birds. But to none +of these things would he devote himself. He had chosen to be +a politician, and in that pursuit he laboured with a zeal and +perseverance which would have made his fortune at any profession +or in any trade. He was constant in committee-rooms up to the very +middle of August. He was rarely absent from any debate of importance, +and never from any important division. Though he seldom spoke, he was +always ready to speak if his purpose required it. No man gave him +credit for any great genius--few even considered that he could become +either an orator or a mighty statesman. But the world said that he +was a rising man, and old Nestor of the Cabinet looked on him as one +who would be able, at some far future day, to come among them as a +younger brother. Hitherto he had declined such inferior offices as +had been offered to him, biding his time carefully; and he was as yet +tied hand and neck to no party, though known to be liberal in all his +political tendencies. He was a great reader--not taking up a book +here, and another there, as chance brought books before him, but +working through an enormous course of books, getting up the great +subject of the world's history--filling himself full of facts--though +perhaps not destined to acquire the power of using those facts +otherwise than as precedents. He strove also diligently to become a +linguist--not without success, as far as a competent understanding of +various languages. He was a thin-minded, plodding, respectable man, +willing to devote all his youth to work, in order that in old age he +might be allowed to sit among the Councillors of the State. + +Hitherto his name had not been coupled by the world with that of any +woman whom he had been supposed to admire; but latterly it had been +observed that he had often been seen in the same room with Lady +Dumbello. It had hardly amounted to more than this; but when it was +remembered how undemonstrative were the two persons concerned--how +little disposed was either of them to any strong display of +feeling--even this was thought matter to be mentioned. He certainly +would speak to her from time to time almost with an air of interest; +and Lady Dumbello, when she saw that he was in the room, would be +observed to raise her head with some little show of life, and to +look round as though there were something there on which it might be +worth her while to allow her eyes to rest. When such innuendoes were +abroad, no one would probably make more of them than Lady De Courcy. +Many, when they heard that Mr. Palliser was to be at the castle, had +expressed their surprise at her success in that quarter. Others, when +they learned that Lady Dumbello had consented to become her guest, +had also wondered greatly. But when it was ascertained that the two +were to be there together, her good-natured friends had acknowledged +that she was a very clever woman. To have either Mr. Palliser or Lady +Dumbello would have been a feather in her cap; but to succeed in +getting both, by enabling each to know that the other would be there, +was indeed a triumph. As regards Lady Dumbello, however, the bargain +was not fairly carried out; for, after all, Mr. Palliser came to +Courcy Castle only for two nights and a day, and during the whole of +that day he was closeted with sundry large blue-books. As for Lady +De Courcy, she did not care how he might be employed. Blue-books and +Lady Dumbello were all the same to her. Mr. Palliser had been at +Courcy Castle, and neither enemy nor friend could deny the fact. + +This was his second evening; and as he had promised to meet his +constituents at Silverbridge at one P.M. on the following day, with +the view of explaining to them his own conduct and the political +position of the world in general; and as he was not to return from +Silverbridge to Courcy, Lady Dumbello, if she made any way at all, +must take advantage of the short gleam of sunshine which the present +hour afforded her. No one, however, could say that she showed any +active disposition to monopolize Mr. Palliser's attention. When he +sauntered into the drawing-room she was sitting, alone, in a large, +low chair, made without arms, so as to admit the full expansion of +her dress, but hollowed and round at the back, so as to afford her +the support that was necessary to her. She had barely spoken three +words since she had left the dining-room, but the time had not passed +heavily with her. Lady Julia had again attacked the countess about +Lily Dale and Mr. Crosbie, and Alexandrina, driven almost to rage, +had stalked off to the farther end of the room, not concealing her +special concern in the matter. + +"How I do wish they were married and done with," said the countess; +"and then we should hear no more about them." + +All of which Lady Dumbello heard and understood; and in all of it she +took a certain interest. She remembered such things, learning thereby +who was who, and regulating her own conduct by what she learned. She +was by no means idle at this or at other such times, going through, +we may say, a considerable amount of really hard work in her manner +of working. There she had sat speechless, unless when acknowledging +by a low word of assent some expression of flattery from those around +her. Then the door opened, and when Mr. Palliser entered she raised +her head, and the faintest possible gleam of satisfaction might have +been discerned upon her features. But she made no attempt to speak +to him; and when, as he stood at the table, he took up a book and +remained thus standing for a quarter of an hour, she neither showed +nor felt any impatience. After that Lord Dumbello came in, and he +stood at the table without a book. Even then Lady Dumbello felt no +impatience. + +Plantagenet Palliser skimmed through his little book, and probably +learned something. When he put it down he sipped a cup of tea, and +remarked to Lady De Courcy that he believed it was only twelve miles +to Silverbridge. + +"I wish it was a hundred and twelve," said the countess. + +"In that case I should be forced to start to-night," said Mr. +Palliser. + +"Then I wish it was a thousand and twelve," said Lady De Courcy. + +"In that case I should not have come at all," said Mr. Palliser. He +did not mean to be uncivil, and had only stated a fact. + +"The young men are becoming absolute bears," said the countess to her +daughter Margaretta. + +He had been in the room nearly an hour when he did at last find +himself standing close to Lady Dumbello: close to her, and without +any other very near neighbour. + +"I should hardly have expected to find you here," he said. + +"Nor I you," she answered. + +"Though, for the matter of that, we are both near our own homes." + +"I am not near mine." + +"I meant Plumstead; your father's place." + +"Yes; that was my home once." + +"I wish I could show you my uncle's place. The castle is very fine, +and he has some good pictures." + +"So I have heard." + +"Do you stay here long?" + +"Oh, no. I go to Cheshire the day after to-morrow. Lord Dumbello is +always there when the hunting begins." + +"Ah, yes; of course. What a happy fellow he is; never any work to do! +His constituents never trouble him, I suppose?" + +"I don't think they ever do, much." + +After that Mr. Palliser sauntered away again, and Lady Dumbello +passed the rest of the evening in silence. It is to be hoped +that they both were rewarded by that ten minutes of sympathetic +intercourse for the inconvenience which they had suffered in coming +to Courcy Castle. + +But that which seems so innocent to us had been looked on in a +different light by the stern moralists of that house. + +"By Jove!" said the Honourable George to his cousin, Mr. Gresham, +"I wonder how Dumbello likes it." + +"It seems to me that Dumbello takes it very easily." + +"There are some men who will take anything easily," said George, who, +since his own marriage, had learned to have a holy horror of such +wicked things. + +"She's beginning to come out a little," said Lady Clandidlem to Lady +De Courcy, when the two old women found themselves together over a +fire in some back sitting-room. "Still waters always run deep, you +know." + +"I shouldn't at all wonder if she were to go off with him," said Lady +De Courcy. + +"He'll never be such a fool as that," said Lady Clandidlem. + +"I believe men will be fools enough for anything," said Lady De +Courcy. "But, of course, if he did, it would come to nothing +afterwards. I know one who would not be sorry. If ever a man was +tired of a woman, Lord Dumbello is tired of her." + +But in this, as in almost everything else, the wicked old woman spoke +scandal. Lord Dumbello was still proud of his wife, and as fond of +her as a man can be of a woman whose fondness depends upon mere +pride. + +There had not been much that was dangerous in the conversation +between Mr. Palliser and Lady Dumbello, but I cannot say the same as +to that which was going on at the same moment between Crosbie and +Lady Alexandrina. She, as I have said, walked away in almost open +dudgeon when Lady Julia recommenced her attack about poor Lily, nor +did she return to the general circle during the evening. There were +two large drawing-rooms at Courcy Castle, joined together by a narrow +link of a room, which might have been called a passage, had it not +been lighted by two windows coming down to the floor, carpeted as +were the drawing-rooms, and warmed with a separate fireplace. Hither +she betook herself, and was soon followed by her married sister +Amelia. + +"That woman almost drives me mad," said Alexandrina, as they stood +together with their toes upon the fender. + +"But, my dear, you of all people should not allow yourself to be +driven mad on such a subject." + +"That's all very well, Amelia." + +"The question is this, my dear,--what does Mr. Crosbie mean to do?" + +"How should I know?" + +"If you don't know, it will be safer to suppose that he is going to +marry this girl; and in that case--" + +"Well, what in that case? Are you going to be another Lady Julia? +What do I care about the girl?" + +"I don't suppose you care much about the girl; and if you care as +little about Mr. Crosbie, there's an end of it; only in that case, +Alexandrina--" + +"Well, what in that case?" + +"You know I don't want to preach to you. Can't you tell me at +once whether you really like him? You and I have always been good +friends." And the married sister put her arm affectionately round the +waist of her who wished to be married. + +"I like him well enough." + +"And has he made any declaration to you?" + +"In a sort of a way he has. Hark, here he is!" And Crosbie, coming in +from the larger room, joined the sisters at the fireplace. + +"We were driven away by the clack of Lady Julia's tongue," said the +elder. + +"I never met such a woman," said Crosbie. + +"There cannot well be many like her," said Alexandrina. And after +that they all stood silent for a minute or two. Lady Amelia Gazebee +was considering whether or no she would do well to go and leave the +two together. If it were intended that Mr. Crosbie should marry her +sister, it would certainly be well to give him an opportunity of +expressing such a wish on his own part. But if Alexandrina was simply +making a fool of herself, then it would be well for her to stay. +"I suppose she would rather I should go," said the elder sister +to herself; and then, obeying the rule which should guide all our +actions from one to another, she went back and joined the crowd. + +"Will you come on into the other room?" said Crosbie. + +"I think we are very well here," Alexandrina replied. + +"But I wish to speak to you,--particularly," said he. + +"And cannot you speak here?" + +"No. They will be passing backwards and forwards." Lady Alexandrina +said nothing further, but led the way into the other large room. That +also was lighted, and there were in it four or five persons. Lady +Rosina was reading a work on the Millennium, with a light to herself +in one corner. Her brother John was asleep in an arm-chair, and a +young gentleman and lady were playing chess. There was, however, +ample room for Crosbie and Alexandrina to take up a position apart. + +"And now, Mr. Crosbie, what have you got to say to me? But, first, +I mean to repeat Lady Julia's question, as I told you that I should +do.--When did you hear last from Miss Dale?" + +"It is cruel in you to ask me such a question, after what I have +already told you. You know that I have given to Miss Dale a promise +of marriage." + +"Very well, sir. I don't see why you should bring me in here to tell +me anything that is so publicly known as that. With such a herald as +Lady Julia it was quite unnecessary." + +"If you can only answer me in that tone I will make an end of it at +once. When I told you of my engagement, I told you also that another +woman possessed my heart. Am I wrong to suppose that you knew to whom +I alluded?" + +"Indeed, I did not, Mr. Crosbie. I am no conjuror, and I have not +scrutinized you so closely as your friend Lady Julia." + +"It is you that I love. I am sure I need hardly say so now." + +"Hardly, indeed,--considering that you are engaged to Miss Dale." + +"As to that I have, of course, to own that I have behaved +foolishly;--worse than foolishly, if you choose to say so. You cannot +condemn me more absolutely than I condemn myself. But I have made +up my mind as to one thing. I will not marry where I do not love." +Oh, if Lily could have heard him as he then spoke! "It would be +impossible for me to speak in terms too high of Miss Dale; but I am +quite sure that I could not make her happy as her husband." + +"Why did you not think of that before you asked her?" said +Alexandrina. But there was very little of condemnation in her tone. + +"I ought to have done so; but it is hardly for you to blame me with +severity. Had you, when we were last together in London--had you been +less--" + +"Less what?" + +"Less defiant," said Crosbie, "all this might perhaps have been +avoided." + +Lady Alexandrina could not remember that she had been defiant; but, +however, she let that pass. "Oh, yes; of course it was my fault." + +"I went down there to Allington with my heart ill at ease, and now I +have fallen into this trouble. I tell you all as it has happened. It +is impossible that I should marry Miss Dale. It would be wicked in me +to do so, seeing that my heart belongs altogether to another. I have +told you who is that other; and now may I hope for an answer?" + +"An answer to what?" + +"Alexandrina, will you be my wife?" + +If it had been her object to bring him to a point-blank declaration +and proposition of marriage, she had certainly achieved her object +now. And she had that trust in her own power of management and in her +mother's, that she did not fear that in accepting him she would incur +the risk of being served as he was serving Lily Dale. She knew her +own position and his too well for that. If she accepted him she would +in due course of time become his wife,--let Miss Dale and all her +friends say what they might to the contrary. As to that head she had +no fear. But nevertheless she did not accept him at once. Though she +wished for the prize, her woman's nature hindered her from taking it +when it was offered to her. + +"How long is it, Mr. Crosbie," she said, "since you put the same +question to Miss Dale?" + +"I have told you everything, Alexandrina,--as I promised that I would +do. If you intend to punish me for doing so--" + +"And I might ask another question. How long will it be before you put +the same question to some other girl?" + +He turned round as though to walk away from her in anger; but when he +had gone half the distance to the door he returned. + +"By heaven!" he said, and he spoke somewhat roughly, too, "I'll have +an answer. You at any rate have nothing with which to reproach me. +All that I have done wrong, I have done through you, or on your +behalf. You have heard my proposal. Do you intend to accept it?" + +"I declare you startle me. If you demanded my money or my life, you +could not be more imperious." + +"Certainly not more resolute in my determination." + +"And if I decline the honour?" + +"I shall think you the most fickle of your sex." + +"And if I were to accept it?" + +"I would swear that you were the best, the dearest, and the sweetest +of women." + +"I would rather have your good opinion than your bad, certainly," +said Lady Alexandrina. And then it was understood by both of them +that that affair was settled. Whenever she was called on in future to +speak of Lily, she always called her, "that poor Miss Dale;" but she +never again spoke a word of reproach to her future lord about that +little adventure. "I shall tell mamma, to-night," she said to him, as +she bade him good-night in some sequestered nook to which they had +betaken themselves. Lady Julia's eye was again on them as they came +out from the sequestered nook, but Alexandrina no longer cared for +Lady Julia. + +"George, I cannot quite understand about that Mr. Palliser. Isn't +he to be a duke, and oughtn't he to be a lord now?" This question +was asked by Mrs. George De Courcy of her husband, when they found +themselves together in the seclusion of the nuptial chamber. + +"Yes; he'll be Duke of Omnium when the old fellow dies. I think he's +one of the slowest fellows I ever came across. He'll take deuced good +care of the property, though." + +"But, George, do explain it to me. It is so stupid not to understand, +and I am afraid of opening my mouth for fear of blundering." + +"Then keep your mouth shut, my dear. You'll learn all those sort of +things in time, and nobody notices it if you don't say anything." + +"Yes, but, George;--I don't like to sit silent all the night. I'd +sooner be up here with a novel if I can't speak about anything." + +"Look at Lady Dumbello. She doesn't want to be always talking." + +"Lady Dumbello is very different from me. But do tell me, who is Mr. +Palliser?" + +"He's the duke's nephew. If he were the duke's son, he would be the +Marquis of Silverbridge." + +"And will he be plain Mister till his uncle dies?" + +"Yes, a very plain Mister." + +"What a pity for him. But, George,--if I have a baby, and if he +should be a boy, and if--" + +"Oh, nonsense; it will be time enough to talk of that when he comes. +I'm going to sleep." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +A MOTHER-IN-LAW AND A FATHER-IN-LAW. + + +On the following morning Mr. Plantagenet Palliser was off upon his +political mission before breakfast;--either that, or else some +private comfort was afforded to him in guise of solitary rolls and +coffee. The public breakfast at Courcy Castle was going on at eleven +o'clock, and at that hour Mr. Palliser was already closeted with the +Mayor of Silverbridge. + +"I must get off by the 3.45 train," said Mr. Palliser. "Who is there +to speak after me?" + +"Well, I shall say a few words; and Growdy,--he'll expect them to +listen to him. Growdy has always stood very firm by his grace, Mr. +Palliser." + +"Mind we are in the room sharp at one. And you can have a fly, for me +to get away to the station, ready in the yard. I won't go a moment +before I can help. I shall be just an hour and a half myself. No, +thank you, I never take any wine in the morning." And I may here +state that Mr. Palliser did get away by the 3.45 train, leaving +Mr. Growdy still talking on the platform. Constituents must be +treated with respect; but time has become so scarce now-a-days that +that respect has to be meted out by the quarter of an hour with +parsimonious care. + +In the meantime there was more leisure at Courcy Castle. Neither +the countess nor Lady Alexandrina came down to breakfast, but their +absence gave rise to no special remark. Breakfast at the castle was +a morning meal at which people showed themselves, or did not show +themselves, as it pleased them. Lady Julia was there looking very +glum, and Crosbie was sitting next to his future sister-in-law +Margaretta, who already had placed herself on terms of close +affection with him. As he finished his tea she whispered into his +ear, "Mr. Crosbie, if you could spare half an hour, mamma would so +like to see you in her own room." Crosbie declared that he would be +delighted to wait upon her, and did in truth feel some gratitude in +being welcomed as a son-in-law into the house. And yet he felt also +that he was being caught, and that in ascending into the private +domains of the countess he would be setting the seal upon his own +captivity. + +Nevertheless, he went with a smiling face and a light step, Lady +Margaretta ushering him the way. "Mamma," said she; "I have +brought Mr. Crosbie up to you. I did not know that you were here, +Alexandrina, or I should have warned him." + +The countess and her youngest daughter had been breakfasting together +in the elder lady's sitting-room, and were now seated in a very +graceful and well-arranged deshabille. The tea-cups out of which they +had been drinking were made of some elegant porcelain, the teapot and +cream-jug were of chased silver and as delicate in their way. The +remnant of food consisted of morsels of French roll which had not +even been allowed to crumble themselves in a disorderly fashion, +and of infinitesimal pats of butter. If the morning meal of the two +ladies had been as unsubstantial as the appearance of the fragments +indicated, it must be presumed that they intended to lunch early. +The countess herself was arrayed in an elaborate morning wrapper of +figured silk, but the simple Alexandrina wore a plain white muslin +peignoir, fastened with pink ribbon. Her hair, which she usually +carried in long rolls, now hung loose over her shoulders, and +certainly added something to her stock of female charms. The countess +got up as Crosbie entered and greeted him with an open hand; but +Alexandrina kept her seat, and merely nodded at him a little welcome. +"I must run down again," said Margaretta, "or I shall have left +Amelia with all the cares of the house upon her." + +"Alexandrina has told me all about it," said the countess, with her +sweetest smile; "and I have given her my approval. I really do think +you will suit each other very well." + +"I am very much obliged to you," said Crosbie. "I'm sure at any rate +of this,--that she will suit me very well." + +"Yes; I think she will. She is a good sensible girl." + +"Psha, mamma; pray don't go on in that Goody Twoshoes sort of way." + +"So you are, my dear. If you were not it would not be well for you +to do as you are going to do. If you were giddy and harum-scarum, +and devoted to rank and wealth and that sort of thing, it would not +be well for you to marry a commoner without fortune. I'm sure Mr. +Crosbie will excuse me for saying so much as that." + +"Of course I know," said Crosbie, "that I had no right to look so +high." + +"Well; we'll say nothing more about it," said the countess. + +"Pray don't," said Alexandrina. "It sounds so like a sermon." + +"Sit down, Mr. Crosbie," said the countess, "and let us have a +little conversation. She shall sit by you, if you like it. Nonsense, +Alexandrina,--if he asks it!" + +"Don't, mamma;--I mean to remain where I am." + +"Very well, my dear;--then remain where you are. She is a wilful +girl, Mr. Crosbie; as you will say when you hear that she has told +me all that you told her last night." Upon hearing this, he changed +colour a little, but said nothing. "She has told me," continued the +countess, "about that young lady at Allington. Upon my word, I'm +afraid you have been very naughty." + +"I have been foolish, Lady De Courcy." + +"Of course; I did not mean anything worse than that. Yes, you have +been foolish;--amusing yourself in a thoughtless way, you know, and, +perhaps, a little piqued because a certain lady was not to be won so +easily as your Royal Highness wished. Well, now, all that must be +settled, you know, as quickly as possible. I don't want to ask any +indiscreet questions; but if the young lady has really been left +with any idea that you meant anything, don't you think you should +undeceive her at once?" + +"Of course he will, mamma." + +"Of course you will; and it will be a great comfort to Alexandrina to +know that the matter is arranged. You hear what Lady Julia is saying +almost every hour of her life. Now, of course, Alexandrina does not +care what an old maid like Lady Julia may say; but it will be better +for all parties that the rumour should be put a stop to. If the earl +were to hear it, he might, you know--" And the countess shook her +head, thinking that she could thus best indicate what the earl might +do, if he were to take it into his head to do anything. + +Crosbie could not bring himself to hold any very confidential +intercourse with the countess about Lily; but he gave a muttered +assurance that he should, as a matter of course, make known the truth +to Miss Dale with as little delay as possible. He could not say +exactly when he would write, nor whether he would write to her or to +her mother; but the thing should be done immediately on his return to +town. + +"If it will make the matter easier, I will write to Mrs. Dale," said +the countess. But to this scheme Mr. Crosbie objected very strongly. + +And then a few words were said about the earl. "I will tell him this +afternoon," said the countess; "and then you can see him to-morrow +morning. I don't suppose he will say very much, you know; and +perhaps he may think,--you won't mind my saying it, I'm sure,--that +Alexandrina might have done better. But I don't believe that +he'll raise any strong objection. There will be something about +settlements, and that sort of thing, of course." Then the countess +went away, and Alexandrina was left with her lover for half an hour. +When the half-hour was over, he felt that he would have given all +that he had in the world to have back the last four-and-twenty hours +of his existence. But he had no hope. To jilt Lily Dale would, no +doubt, be within his power, but he knew that he could not jilt Lady +Alexandrina De Courcy. + +On the next morning at twelve o'clock he had his interview with the +father, and a very unpleasant interview it was. He was ushered into +the earl's room, and found the great peer standing on the rug, with +his back to the fire, and his hands in his breeches pockets. + +"So you mean to marry my daughter?" said he. "I'm not very well, as +you see; I seldom am." + +These last words were spoken in answer to Crosbie's greeting. Crosbie +had held out his hand to the earl, and had carried his point so far +that the earl had been forced to take one of his own out of his +pocket, and give it to his proposed son-in-law. + +"If your lordship has no objection. I have, at any rate, her +permission to ask for yours." + +"I believe you have not any fortune, have you? She's got none; of +course you know that?" + +"I have a few thousand pounds, and I believe she has as much." + +"About as much as will buy bread to keep the two of you from +starving. It's nothing to me. You can marry her if you like; only, +look here, I'll have no nonsense. I've had an old woman in with me +this morning,--one of those that are here in the house,--telling me +some story about some other girl that you have made a fool of. It's +nothing to me how much of that sort of thing you may have done, so +that you do none of it here. But,--if you play any prank of that kind +with me, you'll find that you've made a mistake." + +Crosbie hardly made any answer to this, but got himself out of the +room as quickly as he could. + +"You'd better talk to Gazebee about the trifle of money you've got," +said the earl. Then he dismissed the subject from his mind, and no +doubt imagined that he had fully done his duty by his daughter. + +On the day after this, Crosbie was to go. On the last afternoon, +shortly before dinner, he was waylaid by Lady Julia, who had passed +the day in preparing traps to catch him. + +"Mr. Crosbie," she said, "let me have one word with you. Is this +true?" + +"Lady Julia," he said, "I really do not know why you should inquire +into my private affairs." + +"Yes, sir, you do know; you know very well. That poor young lady who +has no father and no brother, is my neighbour, and her friends are +my friends. She is a friend of my own, and being an old woman, I +have a right to speak for her. If this is true, Mr. Crosbie, you are +treating her like a villain." + +"Lady Julia, I really must decline to discuss the matter with you." + +"I'll tell everybody what a villain you are; I will, indeed;--a +villain and a poor weak silly fool. She was too good for you; that's +what she was." Crosbie, as Lady Julia was addressing to him the last +words, hurried upstairs away from her, but her ladyship, standing on +a landing-place, spoke up loudly, so that no word should be lost on +her retreating enemy. + +"We positively must get rid of that woman," the countess, who +heard it all, said to Margaretta. "She is disturbing the house and +disgracing herself every day." + +"She went to papa this morning, mamma." + +"She did not get much by that move," said the countess. + +On the following morning Crosbie returned to town, but just before he +left the castle he received a third letter from Lily Dale. "I have +been rather disappointed at not hearing this morning," said Lily, +"for I thought the postman would have brought me a letter. But I +know you'll be a better boy when you get back to London, and I won't +scold you. Scold you, indeed! No; I'll never scold you, not though I +shouldn't hear for a month." + +He would have given all that he had in the world, three times told, +if he could have blotted out that visit to Courcy Castle from the +past facts of his existence. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +ADOLPHUS CROSBIE SPENDS AN EVENING AT HIS CLUB. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +Crosbie, as he was being driven from the castle to the nearest +station, in a dog-cart hired from the hotel, could not keep himself +from thinking of that other morning, not yet a fortnight past, on +which he had left Allington; and as he thought of it he knew that +he was a villain. On this morning Alexandrina had not come out from +the house to watch his departure, and catch the last glance of his +receding figure. As he had not started very early she had sat with +him at the breakfast-table; but others also had sat there, and when +he got up to go, she did no more than smile softly and give him her +hand. It had been already settled that he was to spend his Christmas +at Courcy; as it had been also settled that he was to spend it at +Allington. + +Lady Amelia was, of all the family, the most affectionate to him, and +perhaps of them all she was the one whose affection was worth the +most. She was not a woman endowed with a very high mind or with very +noble feelings. She had begun life trusting to the nobility of her +blood for everything, and declaring somewhat loudly among her friends +that her father's rank and her mother's birth imposed on her the duty +of standing closely by her own order. Nevertheless, at the age of +thirty-three she had married her father's man of business, under +circumstances which were not altogether creditable to her. But she +had done her duty in her new sphere of life with some constancy and a +fixed purpose; and now that her sister was going to marry, as she had +done, a man much below herself in social standing, she was prepared +to do her duty as a sister and a sister-in-law. + +"We shall be up in town in November, and of course you'll come to +us at once. Albert Villa, you know, in Hamilton Terrace, St. John's +Wood. We dine at seven, and on Sundays at two; and you'll always find +a place. Mind you come to us, and make yourself quite at home. I do +so hope you and Mortimer will get on well together." + +"I'm sure we shall," said Crosbie. But he had had higher hopes in +marrying into this noble family than that of becoming intimate with +Mortimer Gazebee. What those hopes were he could hardly define to +himself now that he had brought himself so near to the fruition of +them. Lady De Courcy had certainly promised to write to her first +cousin who was Under-Secretary of State for India, with reference to +that secretaryship at the General Committee Office; but Crosbie, when +he came to weigh in his mind what good might result to him from this, +was disposed to think that his chance of obtaining the promotion +would be quite as good without the interest of the Under-Secretary of +State for India as with it. Now that he belonged, as we may say, to +this noble family, he could hardly discern what were the advantages +which he had expected from this alliance. He had said to himself that +it would be much to have a countess for a mother-in-law; but now, +even already, although the possession to which he had looked was not +yet garnered, he was beginning to tell himself that the thing was not +worth possessing. + +As he sat in the train, with a newspaper in his hand, he went on +acknowledging to himself that he was a villain. Lady Julia had spoken +the truth to him on the stairs at Courcy, and so he confessed over +and over again. But he was chiefly angry with himself for this,--that +he had been a villain without gaining anything by his villany; that +he had been a villain, and was to lose so much by his villany. He +made comparison between Lily and Alexandrina, and owned to himself, +over and over again, that Lily would make the best wife that a man +could take to his bosom. As to Alexandrina, he knew the thinness of +her character. She would stick by him, no doubt; and in a circuitous, +discontented, unhappy way, would probably be true to her duties as +a wife and mother. She would be nearly such another as Lady Amelia +Gazebee. But was that a prize sufficiently rich to make him contented +with his own prowess and skill in winning it? And was that a prize +sufficiently rich to justify him to himself for his terrible villany? +Lily Dale he had loved; and he now declared to himself that he could +have continued to love her through his whole life. But what was there +for any man to love in Alexandrina De Courcy? + +While resolving, during his first four or five days at the castle, +that he would throw Lily Dale overboard, he had contrived to quiet +his conscience by inward allusions to sundry heroes of romance. He +had thought of Lothario, Don Juan, and of Lovelace; and had told +himself that the world had ever been full of such heroes. And the +world, too, had treated such heroes well; not punishing them at all +as villains, but caressing them rather, and calling them curled +darlings. Why should not he be a curled darling as well as another? +Ladies had ever been fond of the Don Juan character, and Don Juan had +generally been popular with men also. And then he named to himself a +dozen modern Lotharios,--men who were holding their heads well above +water, although it was known that they had played this lady false, +and brought that other one to death's door, or perhaps even to death +itself. War and love were alike, and the world was prepared to +forgive any guile to militants in either camp. + +But now that he had done the deed he found himself forced to look +at it from quite another point of view. Suddenly that character of +Lothario showed itself to him in a different light, and one in which +it did not please him to look at it as belonging to himself. He began +to feel that it would be almost impossible for him to write that +letter to Lily, which it was absolutely necessary that he should +write. He was in a position in which his mind would almost turn +itself to thoughts of self-destruction as the only means of escape. A +fortnight ago he was a happy man, having everything before him that a +man ought to want; and now--now that he was the accepted son-in-law +of an earl, and the confident expectant of high promotion--he was the +most miserable, degraded wretch in the world! + +He changed his clothes at his lodgings in Mount Street and went down +to his club to dinner. He could, at any rate, do nothing that night. +His letter to Allington must, no doubt, be written at once; but, as +he could not send it before the next night's post, he was not forced +to set to work upon it that evening. As he walked along Piccadilly +on his way to St. James's Square, it occurred to him that it might +be well to write a short line to Lily, telling her nothing of the +truth,--a note written as though his engagement with her was still +unbroken, but yet written with care, saying nothing about that +engagement, so as to give him a little time. Then he thought that he +would telegraph to Bernard and tell everything to him. Bernard would, +of course, be prepared to avenge his cousin in some way, but for such +vengeance Crosbie felt that he should care little. Lady Julia had +told him that Lily was without father or brother, thereby accusing +him of the basest cowardice. "I wish she had a dozen brothers," he +said to himself. But he hardly knew why he expressed such a wish. + +He returned to London on the last day of October, and he found the +streets at the West End nearly deserted. He thought, therefore, that +he should be quite alone at his club, but as he entered the dinner +room he saw one of his oldest and most intimate friends standing +before the fire. Fowler Pratt was the man who had first brought him +into Sebright's, and had given him almost his earliest start on his +successful career in life. Since that time he and his friend Fowler +Pratt had lived in close communion, though Pratt had always held a +certain ascendancy in their friendship. He was in age a few years +senior to Crosbie, and was in truth a man of better parts. But he +was less ambitious, less desirous of shining in the world, and much +less popular with men in general. He was possessed of a moderate +private fortune on which he lived in a quiet, modest manner, and was +unmarried, not likely to marry, inoffensive, useless, and prudent. +For the first few years of Crosbie's life in London he had lived very +much with his friend Pratt, and had been accustomed to depend much +on his friend's counsel; but latterly, since he had himself become +somewhat noticeable, he had found more pleasure in the society of +such men as Dale, who were not his superiors either in age or wisdom. +But there had been no coolness between him and Pratt, and now they +met with perfect cordiality. + +"I thought you were down in Barsetshire," said Pratt. + +"And I thought you were in Switzerland." + +"I have been in Switzerland," said Pratt. + +"And I have been in Barsetshire," said Crosbie. Then they ordered +their dinner together. + +"And so you're going to be married?" said Pratt, when the waiter had +carried away the cheese. + +"Who told you that?" + +"Well, but you are? Never mind who told me, if I was told the truth." + +"But if it be not true?" + +"I have heard it for the last month," said Pratt, "and it has been +spoken of as a thing certain; and it is true; is it not?" + +"I believe it is," said Crosbie, slowly. + +"Why, what on earth is the matter with you, that you speak of it in +that way? Am I to congratulate you, or am I not? The lady, I'm told, +is a cousin of Dale's." + +Crosbie had turned his chair from the table round to the fire, and +said nothing in answer to this. He sat with his glass of sherry in +his hand, looking at the coals, and thinking whether it would not be +well that he should tell the whole story to Pratt. No one could give +him better advice; and no one, as far as he knew his friend, would +be less shocked at the telling of such a story. Pratt had no romance +about women, and had never pretended to very high sentiments. + +"Come up into the smoking-room and I'll tell you all about it," said +Crosbie. So they went off together, and, as the smoking-room was +untenanted, Crosbie was able to tell his story. + +He found it very hard to tell;--much harder than he had beforehand +fancied. "I have got into terrible trouble," he began by saying. Then +he told how he had fallen suddenly in love with Lily, how he had been +rash and imprudent, how nice she was--"infinitely too good for such a +man as I am," he said;--how she had accepted him, and then how he had +repented. "I should have told you beforehand," he then said, "that I +was already half engaged to Lady Alexandrina De Courcy." The reader, +however, will understand that this half-engagement was a fiction. + +"And now you mean that you are altogether engaged to her?" + +"Exactly so." + +"And that Miss Dale must be told that, on second thoughts, you have +changed your mind?" + +"I know that I have behaved very badly," said Crosbie. + +"Indeed you have," said his friend. + +"It is one of those troubles in which a man finds himself involved +almost before he knows where he is." + +"Well; I can't look at it exactly in that light. A man may amuse +himself with a girl, and I can understand his disappointing her and +not offering to marry her,--though even that sort of thing isn't much +to my taste. But, by George, to make an offer of marriage to such +a girl as that in September, to live for a month in her family as +her affianced husband, and then coolly go away to another house in +October, and make an offer to another girl of higher rank--" + +"You know very well that that has had nothing to do with it." + +"It looks very like it. And how are you going to communicate these +tidings to Miss Dale?" + +"I don't know," said Crosbie, who was beginning to be very sore. + +"And you have quite made up your mind that you'll stick to the earl's +daughter?" + +The idea of jilting Alexandrina instead of Lily had never as yet +presented itself to Crosbie, and now, as he thought of it, he could +not perceive that it was feasible. + +"Yes," he said, "I shall marry Lady Alexandrina;--that is, if I do +not cut the whole concern, and my own throat into the bargain." + +"If I were in your shoes I think I should cut the whole concern. I +could not stand it. What do you mean to say to Miss Dale's uncle?" + +"I don't care a ---- for Miss Dale's uncle," said Crosbie. "If he +were to walk in at that door this moment, I would tell him the whole +story, without--" + +As he was yet speaking, one of the club servants opened the door of +the smoking-room, and seeing Crosbie seated in a lounging-chair near +the fire, went up to him with a gentleman's card. Crosbie took the +card and read the name. "Mr. Dale, Allington." + +"The gentleman is in the waiting-room," said the servant. + +Crosbie for the moment was struck dumb. He had declared that very +moment that he should feel no personal disinclination to meet Mr. +Dale, and now that gentleman was within the walls of the club, +waiting to see him! + +"Who's that?" asked Pratt. And then Crosbie handed him the card. +"Whew-w-w-hew," whistled Pratt. + +"Did you tell the gentleman I was here?" asked Crosbie. + +"I said I thought you were upstairs, sir." + +"That will do," said Pratt. "The gentleman will no doubt wait for a +minute." And then the servant went out of the room. "Now, Crosbie, +you must make up your mind. By one of these women and all her friends +you will ever be regarded as a rascal, and they of course will look +out to punish you with such punishment as may come to their hands. +You must now choose which shall be the sufferer." + +The man was a coward at heart. The reflection that he might, even +now, at this moment, meet the old squire on pleasant terms,--or at +any rate not on terms of defiance, pleaded more strongly in Lily's +favour than had any other argument since Crosbie had first made up +his mind to abandon her. He did not fear personal ill-usage;--he was +not afraid lest he should be kicked or beaten; but he did not dare to +face the just anger of the angry man. + +"If I were you," said Pratt, "I would not go down to that man at the +present moment for a trifle." + +"But what can I do?" + +"Shirk away out of the club. Only if you do that it seems to me that +you'll have to go on shirking for the rest of your life." + +"Pratt, I must say that I expected something more like friendship +from you." + +"What can I do for you? There are positions in which it is impossible +to help a man. I tell you plainly that you have behaved very badly. I +do not see that I can help you." + +"Would you see him?" + +"Certainly not, if I am to be expected to take your part." + +"Take any part you like,--only tell him the truth." + +"And what is the truth?" + +"I was part engaged to that other girl before; and then, when I came +to think of it, I knew that I was not fit to marry Miss Dale. I know +I have behaved badly; but, Pratt, thousands have done the same thing +before." + +"I can only say that I have not been so unfortunate as to reckon any +of those thousands among my friends." + +"You mean to tell me, then, that you are going to turn your back on +me?" said Crosbie. + +"I haven't said anything of the kind. I certainly won't undertake to +defend you, for I don't see that your conduct admits of defence. I +will see this gentleman if you wish it, and tell him anything that +you may desire me to tell him." + +At this moment the servant returned with a note for Crosbie. Mr. Dale +had called for paper and envelope, and sent up to him the following +missive:--"Do you intend to come down to me? I know that you are in +the house." "For heaven's sake go to him," said Crosbie. "He is well +aware that I was deceived about his niece,--that I thought he was +to give her some fortune. He knows all about that, and that when I +learned from him that she was to have nothing--" + +"Upon my word, Crosbie, I wish you could find another messenger." + +"Ah! you do not understand," said Crosbie in his agony. "You think +that I am inventing this plea about her fortune now. It isn't so. He +will understand. We have talked all this over before, and he knew +how terribly I was disappointed. Shall I wait for you here, or will +you come to my lodgings? Or I will go down to the Beaufort, and will +wait for you there." And it was finally arranged that he should get +himself out of this club and wait at the other for Pratt's report of +the interview. + +"Do you go down first," said Crosbie. + +"Yes: I had better," said Pratt. "Otherwise you may be seen. Mr. Dale +would have his eye upon you, and there would be a row in the house." +There was a smile of sarcasm on Pratt's face as he spoke which +angered Crosbie even in his misery, and made him long to tell his +friend that he would not trouble him with this mission,--that he +would manage his own affairs himself; but he was weakened and +mentally humiliated by the sense of his own rascality, and had +already lost the power of asserting himself, and of maintaining his +ascendancy. He was beginning to recognize the fact that he had done +that for which he must endure to be kicked, to be kicked morally if +not materially; and that it was no longer possible for him to hold +his head up without shame. + +Pratt took Mr. Dale's note in his hand and went down into the +stranger's room. There he found the squire standing, so that he could +see through the open door of the room to the foot of the stairs down +which Crosbie must descend before he could leave the club. As a +measure of first precaution the ambassador closed the door; then he +bowed to Mr. Dale, and asked him if he would take a chair. + +"I wanted to see Mr. Crosbie," said the squire. + +"I have your note to that gentleman in my hand," said he. "He has +thought it better that you should have this interview with me;--and +under all the circumstances perhaps it is better." + +"Is he such a coward that he dare not see me?" + +"There are some actions, Mr. Dale, that will make a coward of any +man. My friend Crosbie is, I take it, brave enough in the ordinary +sense of the word, but he has injured you." + +"It is all true, then?" + +"Yes, Mr. Dale; I fear it is all true." + +"And you call that man your friend! Mr.--; I don't know what your +name is." + +"Pratt;--Fowler Pratt. I have known Crosbie for fourteen years,--ever +since he was a boy; and it is not my way, Mr. Dale, to throw over an +old friend under any circumstances." + +"Not if he committed a murder." + +"No; not though he committed a murder." + +"If what I hear is true, this man is worse than a murderer." + +"Of course, Mr. Dale, I cannot know what you have heard. I believe +that Mr. Crosbie has behaved very badly to your niece, Miss Dale; I +believe that he was engaged to marry her, or, at any rate, that some +such proposition had been made." + +"Proposition! Why, sir, it was a thing so completely understood that +everybody knew it in the county. It was so positively fixed that +there was no secret about it. Upon my honour, Mr. Pratt, I can't as +yet understand it. If I remember right, it's not a fortnight since +he left my house at Allington,--not a fortnight. And that poor girl +was with him on the morning of his going as his betrothed bride. +Not a fortnight since! And now I've had a letter from an old family +friend telling me that he is going to marry one of Lord De Courcy's +daughters! I went instantly off to Courcy, and found that he had +started for London. Now, I have followed him here; and you tell me +it's all true." + +"I am afraid it is, Mr. Dale; too true." + +"I don't understand it; I don't, indeed. I cannot bring myself to +believe that the man who was sitting the other day at my table should +be so great a scoundrel. Did he mean it all the time that he was +there?" + +"No; certainly not. Lady Alexandrina De Courcy was, I believe, an old +friend of his;--with whom, perhaps, he had had some lover's quarrel. +On his going to Courcy they made it up; and this is the result." + +"And that is to be sufficient for my poor girl?" + +"You will, of course, understand that I am not defending Mr. Crosbie. +The whole affair is very sad,--very sad, indeed. I can only say, in +his excuse, that he is not the first man who has behaved badly to a +lady." + +"And that is his message to me, is it? And that is what I am to tell +my niece? You have been deceived by a scoundrel. But what then? You +are not the first! Mr. Pratt, I give you my word as a gentleman, I do +not understand it. I have lived a good deal out of the world, and am, +therefore, perhaps, more astonished than I ought to be." + +"Mr. Dale, I feel for you--" + +"Feel for me! What is to become of my girl? And do you suppose that +I will let this other marriage go on; that I will not tell the +De Courcys, and all the world at large, what sort of a man this +is;--that I will not get at him to punish him? Does he think that I +will put up with this?" + +"I do not know what he thinks; I must only beg that you will not mix +me up in the matter--as though I were a participator in his offence." + +"Will you tell him from me that I desire to see him?" + +"I do not think that that would do any good." + +"Never mind, sir; you have brought me his message; will you have the +goodness now to take back mine to him?" + +"Do you mean at once--this evening,--now?" + +"Yes, at once--this evening,--now;--this minute." + +"Ah; he has left the club; he is not here now; he went when I came to +you." + +"Then he is a coward as well as a scoundrel." In answer to which +assertion, Mr. Fowler Pratt merely shrugged his shoulders. + +"He is a coward as well as a scoundrel. Will you have the kindness to +tell your friend from me that he is a coward and a scoundrel,--and a +liar, sir." + +"If it be so, Miss Dale is well quit of her engagement." + +"That is your consolation, is it? That may be all very well +now-a-days; but when I was a young man, I would sooner have burnt out +my tongue than have spoken in such a way on such a subject. I would, +indeed. Good-night, Mr. Pratt. Pray make your friend understand that +he has not yet seen the last of the Dales; although, as you hint, the +ladies of that family will no doubt have learned that he is not fit +to associate with them." Then, taking up his hat, the squire made his +way out of the club. + +"I would not have done it," said Pratt to himself, "for all the +beauty, and all the wealth, and all the rank that ever were owned by +a woman." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +LORD DE COURCY IN THE BOSOM OF HIS FAMILY. + + +Lady Julia De Guest had not during her life written many letters to +Mr. Dale of Allington, nor had she ever been very fond of him. But +when she felt certain how things were going at Courcy, or rather, as +we may say, how they had already gone, she took pen in hand, and sat +herself to work, doing, as she conceived, her duty by her neighbour. + + + MY DEAR MR. DALE [she said], + + I believe I need make no secret of having known that your + niece Lilian is engaged to Mr. Crosbie, of London. I think + it proper to warn you that if this be true Mr. Crosbie is + behaving himself in a very improper manner here. I am not + a person who concerns myself much in the affairs of other + people; and under ordinary circumstances, the conduct of + Mr. Crosbie would be nothing to me,--or, indeed, less + than nothing; but I do to you as I would wish that others + should do unto me. I believe it is only too true that + Mr. Crosbie has proposed to Lady Alexandrina De Courcy, + and been accepted by her. I think you will believe that + I would not say this without warrant, and if there be + anything in it, it may be well, for the poor young lady's + sake, that you should put yourself in the way of learning + the truth. + + Believe me to be yours sincerely, + + JULIA DE GUEST. + + Courcy Castle, Thursday. + + +The squire had never been very fond of any of the De Guest family, +and had, perhaps, liked Lady Julia the least of them all. He was wont +to call her a meddling old woman,--remembering her bitterness and +pride in those now long bygone days in which the gallant major had +run off with Lady Fanny. When he first received this letter, he did +not, on the first reading of it, believe a word of its contents. +"Cross-grained old harridan," he said out loud to his nephew. "Look +what that aunt of yours has written to me." Bernard read the letter +twice, and as he did so his face became hard and angry. + +"You don't mean to say you believe it?" said the squire. + +"I don't think it will be safe to disregard it." + +"What! you think it possible that your friend is doing as she says?" + +"It is certainly possible. He was angry when he found that Lily had +no fortune." + +"Heavens, Bernard! And you can speak of it in that way?" + +"I don't say that it is true; but I think we should look to it. I +will go to Courcy Castle and learn the truth." + +The squire at last decided that he would go. He went to Courcy +Castle, and found that Crosbie had started two hours before his +arrival. He asked for Lady Julia, and learned from her that Crosbie +had actually left the house as the betrothed husband of Lady +Alexandrina. + +"The countess, I am sure, will not contradict it, if you will see +her," said Lady Julia. But this the squire was unwilling to do. He +would not proclaim the wretched condition of his niece more loudly +than was necessary, and therefore he started on his pursuit of +Crosbie. What was his success on that evening we have already +learned. + +Both Lady Alexandrina and her mother heard of Mr. Dale's arrival at +the castle, but nothing was said between them on the subject. Lady +Amelia Gazebee heard of it also, and she ventured to discuss the +matter with her sister. + +"You don't know exactly how far it went, do you?" + +"No; yes;--not exactly, that is," said Alexandrina. + +"I suppose he did say something about marriage to the girl?" + +"Yes, I'm afraid he did." + +"Dear, dear! It's very unfortunate. What sort of people are those +Dales? I suppose he talked to you about them." + +"No, he didn't; not very much. I daresay she is an artful, sly thing! +It's a great pity men should go on in such a way." + +"Yes, it is," said Lady Amelia. "And I do suppose that in this case +the blame has been more with him than with her. It's only right I +should tell you that." + +"But what can I do?" + +"I don't say you can do anything; but it's as well you should know." + +"But I don't know, and you don't know; and I can't see that there is +any use talking about it now. I knew him a long while before she did, +and if she has allowed him to make a fool of her, it isn't my fault." + +"Nobody says it is, my dear." + +"But you seem to preach to me about it. What can I do for the girl? +The fact is, he don't care for her a bit, and never did." + +"Then he shouldn't have told her that he did." + +"That's all very well, Amelia; but people don't always do exactly all +that they ought to do. I suppose Mr. Crosbie isn't the first man that +has proposed to two ladies. I dare say it was wrong, but I can't help +it. As to Mr. Dale coming here with a tale of his niece's wrongs, I +think it very absurd,--very absurd indeed. It makes it look as though +there had been a scheme to catch Mr. Crosbie, and it's my belief that +there was such a scheme." + +"I only hope that there'll be no quarrel." + +"Men don't fight duels now-a-days, Amelia." + +"But do you remember what Frank Gresham did to Mr. Moffat when he +behaved so badly to poor Augusta?" + +"Mr. Crosbie isn't afraid of that kind of thing. And I always thought +that Frank was very wrong,--very wrong indeed. What's the good of two +men beating each other in the street?" + +"Well; I'm sure I hope there'll be no quarrel. But I own I don't like +the look of it. You see the uncle must have known all about it, and +have consented to the marriage, or he would not have come here." + +"I don't see that it can make any difference to me, Amelia." + +"No, my dear, I don't see that it can. We shall be up in town soon, +and I will see as much as possible of Mr. Crosbie. The marriage, I +hope, will take place soon." + +"He talks of February." + +"Don't put it off, Alley, whatever you do. There are so many slips, +you know, in these things." + +"I'm not a bit afraid of that," said Alexandrina, sticking up her +head. + +"I daresay not; and you may be sure that we will keep an eye on him. +Mortimer will get him up to dine with us as often as possible, and as +his leave of absence is all over, he can't get out of town. He's to +be here at Christmas, isn't he?" + +"Of course he is." + +"Mind you keep him to that. And as to these Dales, I would be very +careful, if I were you, not to say anything unkind of them to any +one. It sounds badly in your position." And with this last piece of +advice Lady Amelia Gazebee allowed the subject to drop. + +On that day Lady Julia returned to her own home. Her adieux to the +whole family at Courcy Castle were very cold, but about Mr. Crosbie +and his lady-love at Allington she said no further word to any of +them. Alexandrina did not show herself at all on the occasion, and +indeed had not spoken to her enemy since that evening on which she +had felt herself constrained to retreat from the drawing-room. + +"Good-by," said the countess. "You have been so good to come, and we +have enjoyed it so much." + +"I thank you very much. Good morning," said Lady Julia, with a +stately courtesy. + +"Pray remember me to your brother. I wish we could have seen him; I +hope he has not been hurt by the--the bull." And then Lady Julia went +her way. + +"What a fool I have been to have that woman in the house," said the +countess, before the door was closed behind her guest's back. + +"Indeed you have," said Lady Julia, screaming back through the +passage. Then there was a long silence, then a suppressed titter, and +after that a loud laugh. + +"Oh, mamma, what shall we do?" said Lady Amelia. + +"Do!" said Margaretta; "why should we do anything? She has heard the +truth for once in her life." + +"Dear Lady Dumbello, what will you think of us?" said the countess, +turning round to another guest, who was also just about to depart. +"Did any one ever know such a woman before?" + +"I think she's very nice," said Lady Dumbello, smiling. + +"I can't quite agree with you there," said Lady Clandidlem. "But I +do believe she means to do her best. She is very charitable, and all +that sort of thing." + +"I'm sure I don't know," said Rosina. "I asked her for a subscription +to the mission for putting down the Papists in the west of Ireland, +and she refused me point-blank." + +"Now, my dear, if you're quite ready," said Lord Dumbello, coming +into the room. Then there was another departure; but on this occasion +the countess waited till the doors were shut, and the retreating +footsteps were no longer heard. "Have you observed," said she to Lady +Clandidlem, "that she has not held her head up since Mr. Palliser +went away?" + +"Indeed I have," said Lady Clandidlem. "As for poor Dumbello, he's +the blindest creature I ever saw in my life." + +"We shall hear of something before next May," said Lady De Courcy, +shaking her head; "but for all that she'll never be Duchess of +Omnium." + +"I wonder what your mamma will say of me when I go away to-morrow," +said Lady Clandidlem to Margaretta, as they walked across the hall +together. + +"She won't say that you are going to run away with any gentleman," +said Margaretta. + +"At any rate not with the earl," said Lady Clandidlem. "Ha, ha, ha! +Well, we are all very good-natured, are we not? The best is that it +means nothing." + +Thus by degrees all the guests went, and the family of the De Courcys +was left to the bliss of their own domestic circle. This, we may +presume, was not without its charms, seeing that there were so many +feelings in common between the mother and her children. There were +drawbacks to it, no doubt, arising perhaps chiefly from the earl's +bodily infirmities. "When your father speaks to me," said Mrs. George +to her husband, "he puts me in such a shiver that I cannot open my +mouth to answer him." + +"You should stand up to him," said George. "He can't hurt you, you +know. Your money's your own; and if I'm ever to be the heir, it won't +be by his doing." + +"But he gnashes his teeth at me." + +"You shouldn't care for that, if he don't bite. He used to gnash them +at me; and when I had to ask him for money I didn't like it; but now +I don't mind him a bit. He threw the peerage at me one day, but it +didn't go within a yard of my head." + +"If he throws anything at me, George, I shall drop upon the spot." + +But the countess had a worse time with the earl than any of her +children. It was necessary that she should see him daily, and +necessary also that she should say much that he did not like to hear, +and make many petitions that caused him to gnash his teeth. The earl +was one of those men who could not endure to live otherwise than +expensively, and yet was made miserable by every recurring expense. +He ought to have known by this time that butchers, and bakers, and +corn-chandlers, and coal-merchants will not supply their goods for +nothing; and yet it always seemed as though he had expected that at +this special period they would do so. He was an embarrassed man, no +doubt, and had not been fortunate in his speculations at Newmarket +or Homburg; but, nevertheless, he had still the means of living +without daily torment; and it must be supposed that his self-imposed +sufferings, with regard to money, rose rather from his disposition +than his necessities. His wife never knew whether he were really +ruined, or simply pretending it. She had now become so used +to her position in this respect, that she did not allow fiscal +considerations to mar her happiness. Food and clothing had +always come to her,--including velvet gowns, new trinkets, and a +man-cook,--and she presumed that they would continue to come. But +that daily conference with her husband was almost too much for her. +She struggled to avoid it; and, as far as the ways and means were +concerned, would have allowed them to arrange themselves, if he would +only have permitted it. But he insisted on seeing her daily in his +own sitting-room; and she had acknowledged to her favourite daughter, +Margaretta, that those half-hours would soon be the death of her. "I +sometimes feel," she said, "that I am going mad before I can get +out." And she reproached herself, probably without reason, in that +she had brought much of this upon herself. In former days the earl +had been constantly away from home, and the countess had complained. +Like many other women she had not known when she was well off. She +had complained, urging upon her lord that he should devote more +of his time to his own hearth. It is probable that her ladyship's +remonstrances had been less efficacious than the state of his own +health in producing that domestic constancy which he now practised; +but it is certain that she looked back with bitter regret to the +happy days when she was deserted, jealous, and querulous. "Don't +you wish we could get Sir Omicron to order him to the German Spas?" +she had said to Margaretta. Now Sir Omicron was the great London +physician, and might, no doubt, do much in that way. + +But no such happy order had as yet been given; and, as far as the +family could foresee, paterfamilias intended to pass the winter with +them at Courcy. The guests, as I have said, were all gone, and none +but the family were in the house when her ladyship waited upon her +lord one morning at twelve o'clock, a few days after Mr. Dale's visit +to the castle. He always breakfasted alone, and after breakfast found +in a French novel and a cigar what solace those innocent recreations +were still able to afford him. When the novel no longer excited him +and when he was saturated with smoke, he would send for his wife. +After that, his valet would dress him. "She gets it worse than I do," +the man declared in the servants' hall; "and minds it a deal more. I +can give warning, and she can't." + +"Better? No, I ain't better," the husband said, in answer to his +wife's inquiries. "I never shall be better while you keep that cook +in the kitchen." + +"But where are we to get another if we send him away?" + +"It's not my business to find cooks. I don't know where you're to +get one. It's my belief you won't have a cook at all before long. It +seems you have got two extra men into the house without telling me." + +"We must have servants, you know, when there is company. It wouldn't +do to have Lady Dumbello here, and no one to wait on her." + +"Who asked Lady Dumbello? I didn't." + +"I'm sure, my dear, you liked having her here." + +"D---- Lady Dumbello!" and then there was a pause. The countess had +no objection whatsoever to the above proposition, and was rejoiced +that that question of the servants was allowed to slip aside, through +the aid of her ladyship. + +"Look at that letter from Porlock," said the earl; and he pushed +over to the unhappy mother a letter from her eldest son. Of all her +children he was the one she loved the best; but him she was never +allowed to see under her own roof. "I sometimes think that he is the +greatest rascal with whom I ever had occasion to concern myself," +said the earl. + +She took the letter and read it. The epistle was certainly not one +which a father could receive with pleasure from his son; but the +disagreeable nature of its contents was the fault rather of the +parent than of the child. The writer intimated that certain money due +to him had not been paid with necessary punctuality, and that unless +he received it, he should instruct his lawyer to take some authorized +legal proceedings. Lord De Courcy had raised certain moneys on +the family property, which he could not have raised without the +co-operation of his heir, and had bound himself, in return for that +co-operation, to pay a certain fixed income to his eldest son. This +he regarded as an allowance from himself; but Lord Porlock regarded +it as his own, by lawful claim. The son had not worded his letter +with any affectionate phraseology. "Lord Porlock begs to inform Lord +De Courcy--" Such had been the commencement. + +"I suppose he must have his money; else how can he live?" said the +countess, trembling. + +"Live!" shouted the earl. "And so you think it proper that he should +write such a letter as that to his father!" + +"It is all very unfortunate," she replied. + +"I don't know where the money's to come from. As for him, if he were +starving, it would serve him right. He's a disgrace to the name and +the family. From all I hear, he won't live long." + +"Oh, De Courcy, don't talk of it in that way!" + +"What way am I to talk of it? If I say that he's my greatest comfort, +and living as becomes a nobleman, and is a fine healthy man of his +age, with a good wife and a lot of legitimate children, will that +make you believe it? Women are such fools. Nothing that I say will +make him worse than he is." + +"But he may reform." + +"Reform! He's over forty, and when I last saw him he looked nearly +sixty. There;--you may answer his letter; I won't." + +"And about the money?" + +"Why doesn't he write to Gazebee about his dirty money? Why does he +trouble me? I haven't got his money. Ask Gazebee about his money. I +won't trouble myself about it." Then there was another pause, during +which the countess folded the letter, and put it in her pocket. + +"How long is George going to remain here with that woman?" he asked. + +"I'm sure she is very harmless," pleaded the countess. + +"I always think when I see her that I'm sitting down to dinner with +my own housemaid. I never saw such a woman. How he can put up with +it! But I don't suppose he cares for anything." + +"It has made him very steady." + +"Steady!" + +"And as she will be confined before long it may be as well that she +should remain here. If Porlock doesn't marry, you know--" + +"And so he means to live here altogether, does he? I'll tell you what +it is,--I won't have it. He's better able to keep a house over his +own head and his wife's than I am to do it for them, and so you may +tell them. I won't have it. D'ye hear?" Then there was another short +pause. "D'ye hear?" he shouted at her. + +"Yes; of course I hear. I was only thinking you wouldn't wish me to +turn them out, just as her confinement is coming on." + +"I know what that means. Then they'd never go. I won't have it; and +if you don't tell them I will." In answer to this Lady De Courcy +promised that she would tell them, thinking perhaps that the earl's +mode of telling might not be beneficial in that particular epoch +which was now coming in the life of Mrs. George. + +"Did you know," said he, breaking out on a new subject, "that a man +had been here named Dale, calling on somebody in this house?" In +answer to which the countess acknowledged that she had known it. + +"Then why did you keep it from me?" And that gnashing of the teeth +took place which was so specially objectionable to Mrs. George. + +"It was a matter of no moment. He came to see Lady Julia De Guest." + +"Yes; but he came about that man Crosbie." + +"I suppose he did." + +"Why have you let that girl be such a fool? You'll find he'll play +her some knave's trick." + +"Oh dear, no." + +"And why should she want to marry such a man as that?" + +"He's quite a gentleman, you know, and very much thought of in the +world. It won't be at all bad for her, poor thing. It is so very hard +for a girl to get married now-a-days without money." + +"And so they're to take up with anybody. As far as I can see, this is +a worse affair than that of Amelia." + +"Amelia has done very well, my dear." + +"Oh, if you call it doing well for your girls, I don't. I call it +doing uncommon badly; about as bad as they well can do. But it's your +affair. I have never meddled with them, and don't intend to do it +now." + +"I really think she'll be happy, and she is devotedly attached to the +young man." + +"Devotedly attached to the young man!" The tone and manner in which +the earl repeated these words were such as to warrant an opinion that +his lordship might have done very well on the stage had his attention +been called to that profession. "It makes me sick to hear people +talk in that way. She wants to get married, and she's a fool for her +pains;--I can't help that; only remember that I'll have no nonsense +here about that other girl. If he gives me trouble of that sort, by +----, I'll be the death of him. When is the marriage to be?" + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Devotedly attached to the young man!"] + + +"They talk of February." + +"I won't have any tomfoolery and expense. If she chooses to marry a +clerk in an office, she shall marry him as clerks are married." + +"He'll be the secretary before that, De Courcy." + +"What difference does that make? Secretary, indeed! What sort of +men do you suppose secretaries are? A beggar that came from nobody +knows where! I won't have any tomfoolery;--d'ye hear?" Whereupon +the countess said that she did hear, and soon afterwards managed to +escape. The valet then took his turn; and repeated, after his hour +of service, that "Old Nick" in his tantrums had been more like the +Prince of Darkness than ever. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +"ON MY HONOUR, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT." + + +In the meantime Lady Alexandrina endeavoured to realize to herself +all the advantages and disadvantages of her own position. She was not +possessed of strong affections, nor of depth of character, nor of +high purpose; but she was no fool, nor was she devoid of principle. +She had asked herself many times whether her present life was so +happy as to make her think that a permanent continuance in it would +suffice for her desires, and she had always replied to herself that +she would fain change to some other life if it were possible. She +had also questioned herself as to her rank, of which she was quite +sufficiently proud, and had told herself that she could not degrade +herself in the world without a heavy pang. But she had at last taught +herself to believe that she had more to gain by becoming the wife of +such a man as Crosbie than by remaining as an unmarried daughter of +her father's house. There was much in her sister Amelia's position +which she did not envy, but there was less to envy in that of her +sister Rosina. The Gazebee house in St. John's Wood Road was not +so magnificent as Courcy Castle; but then it was less dull, less +embittered by torment, and was moreover her sister's own. + +"Very many do marry commoners," she had said to Margaretta. + +"Oh, yes, of course. It makes a difference, you know, when a man has +a fortune." + +Of course it did make a difference. Crosbie had no fortune, was not +even so rich as Mr. Gazebee, could keep no carriage, and would have +no country house. But then he was a man of fashion, was more thought +of in the world than Mr. Gazebee, might probably rise in his own +profession,--and was at any rate thoroughly presentable. She would +have preferred a gentleman with L5,000 a year; but then as no +gentleman with L5,000 a year came that way, would she not be happier +with Mr. Crosbie than she would be with no husband at all? She was +not very much in love with Mr. Crosbie, but she thought that she +could live with him comfortably, and that on the whole it would be a +good thing to be married. + +And she made certain resolves as to the manner in which she would do +her duty by her husband. Her sister Amelia was paramount in her own +house, ruling indeed with a moderate, endurable dominion, and ruling +much to her husband's advantage. Alexandrina feared that she would +not be allowed to rule, but she could at any rate try. She would do +all in her power to make him comfortable, and would be specially +careful not to irritate him by any insistence on her own higher rank. +She would be very meek in this respect; and if children should come +she would be as painstaking about them as though her own father had +been merely a clergyman or a lawyer. She thought also much about +poor Lilian Dale, asking herself sundry questions, with an idea of +being high-principled as to her duty in that respect. Was she wrong +in taking Mr. Crosbie away from Lilian Dale? In answer to these +questions she was able to assure herself comfortably that she was +not wrong. Mr. Crosbie would not, under any circumstances, marry +Lilian Dale. He had told her so more than once, and that in a solemn +way. She could therefore be doing no harm to Lilian Dale. If she +entertained any inner feeling that Crosbie's fault in jilting Lilian +Dale was less than it would have been had she herself not been an +earl's daughter,--that her own rank did in some degree extenuate her +lover's falseness,--she did not express it in words even to herself. + +She did not get very much sympathy from her own family. "I'm afraid +he does not think much of his religious duties. I'm told that young +men of that sort seldom do," said Rosina. "I don't say you're wrong," +said Margaretta. "By no means. Indeed I think less of it now than +I did when Amelia did the same thing. I shouldn't do it myself, +that's all." Her father told her that he supposed she knew her own +mind. Her mother, who endeavoured to comfort and in some sort to +congratulate her, nevertheless, harped constantly on the fact that +she was marrying a man without rank and without a fortune. Her +congratulations were apologetic, and her comfortings took the guise +of consolation. "Of course you won't be rich, my dear; but I really +think you'll do very well. Mr. Crosbie may be received anywhere, and +you never need be ashamed of him." By which the countess implied that +her elder married daughter was occasionally called on to be ashamed +of her husband. "I wish he could keep a carriage for you, but perhaps +that will come some day." Upon the whole Alexandrina did not repent, +and stoutly told her father that she did know her own mind. + +During all this time Lily Dale was as yet perfect in her happiness. +That delay of a day or two in the receipt of the expected letter from +her lover had not disquieted her. She had promised him that she would +not distrust him, and she was firmly minded to keep her promises. +Indeed no idea of breaking it came to her at this time. She was +disappointed when the postman would come and bring no letter for +her,--disappointed, as is the husbandman when the longed-for rain +does not come to refresh the parched earth; but she was in no degree +angry. "He will explain it," she said to herself. And she assured +Bell that men never recognized the hunger and thirst after letters +which women feel when away from those whom they love. + +Then they heard at the Small House that the squire had gone away from +Allington. During the last few days Bernard had not been much with +them, and now they heard the news, not through their cousin, but +from Hopkins. "I really can't undertake to say, Miss Bell, where the +master's gone to. It's not likely the master'd tell me where he was +going to; not unless it was about seeds, or the likes of that." + +"He has gone very suddenly," said Bell. + +"Well, miss, I've nothing to say to that. And why shouldn't he go +sudden if he likes? I only know he had his gig, and went to the +station. If you was to bury me alive I couldn't tell you more." + +"I should like to try," said Lily as they walked away. "He is such a +cross old thing. I wonder whether Bernard has gone with my uncle." +And then they thought no more about it. + +On the day after that Bernard came down to the Small House, but he +said nothing by way of accounting for the squire's absence. "He is in +London, I know," said Bernard. + +"I hope he'll call on Mr. Crosbie," said Lily. But on this subject +Bernard said not a word. He did ask Lily whether she had heard from +Adolphus, in answer to which she replied, with as indifferent a voice +as she could assume, that she had not had a letter that morning. + +"I shall be angry with him if he's not a good correspondent," said +Mrs. Dale, when she and Lily were alone together. + +"No, mamma, you mustn't be angry with him. I won't let you be angry +with him. Please to remember he's my lover and not yours." + +"But I can see you when you watch for the postman." + +"I won't watch for the postman any more if it makes you have bad +thoughts about him. Yes, they are bad thoughts. I won't have you +think that he doesn't do everything that is right." + +On the next morning the postman brought a letter, or rather a note, +and Lily at once saw that it was from Crosbie. She had contrived to +intercept it near the back door, at which the postman called, so that +her mother should not watch her watchings, nor see her disappointment +if none should come. "Thank you, Jane," she said, very calmly, when +the eager, kindly girl ran to her with the little missive; and she +walked off to some solitude, trying to hide her impatience. The note +had seemed so small that it amazed her; but when she opened it the +contents amazed her more. There was neither beginning nor end. There +was no appellation of love, and no signature. It contained but two +lines. "I will write to you at length to-morrow. This is my first +day in London, and I have been so driven about that I cannot write." +That was all, and it was scrawled on half a sheet of note-paper. Why, +at any rate, had he not called her his dearest Lily? Why had he not +assured her that he was ever her own? Such expressions, meaning so +much, may be conveyed in a glance of the pen. "Ah," she said, "if he +knew how I hunger and thirst after his love!" + +She had but a moment left to her before she must join her mother and +sister, and she used that moment in remembering her promise. "I know +it is all right," she said to herself. "He does not think of these +things as I do. He had to write at the last moment,--as he was +leaving his office." And then with a quiet, smiling face, she walked +into the breakfast-parlour. + +"What does he say, Lily?" asked Bell. + +"What would you give to know?" said Lily. + +"I wouldn't give twopence for the whole of it," said Bell. + +"When you get anybody to write to you letters, I wonder whether +you'll show them to everybody?" + +"But if there's any special London news, I suppose we might hear it," +said Mrs. Dale. + +"But suppose there's no special London news, mamma. The poor man had +only been in town one day, you know: and there never is any news at +this time of the year." + +"Had he seen uncle Christopher?" + +"I don't think he had; but he doesn't say. We shall get all the news +from him when he comes. He cares much more about London news than +Adolphus does." And then there was no more said about the letter. + +But Lily had read her two former letters over and over again at the +breakfast-table; and though she had not read them aloud, she had +repeated many words out of them, and had so annotated upon them that +her mother, who had heard her, could have almost re-written them. +Now, she did not even show the paper; and then her absence, during +which she had read the letter, had hardly exceeded a minute or two. +All this Mrs. Dale observed, and she knew that her daughter had been +again disappointed. + +In fact that day Lily was very serious, but she did not appear to +be unhappy. Early after breakfast Bell went over to the parsonage, +and Mrs. Dale and her youngest daughter sat together over their work. +"Mamma," she said, "I hope you and I are not to be divided when I go +to live in London." + +"We shall never be divided in heart, my love." + +"Ah, but that will not be enough for happiness, though perhaps enough +to prevent absolute unhappiness. I shall want to see you, touch you, +and pet you as I do now." And she came and knelt on the cushion at +her mother's feet. + +"You will have some one else to caress and pet,--perhaps many +others." + +"Do you mean to say that you are going to throw me off, mamma?" + +"God forbid, my darling. It is not mothers that throw off their +children. What shall I have left when you and Bell are gone from me?" + +"But we will never be gone. That's what I mean. We are to be just the +same to you always, even though we are married. I must have my right +to be here as much as I have it now; and, in return, you shall have +your right to be there. His house must be a home to you,--not a cold +place which you may visit now and again, with your best clothes on. +You know what I mean, when I say that we must not be divided." + +"But Lily--" + +"Well, mamma?" + +"I have no doubt we shall be happy together,--you and I." + +"But you were going to say more than that." + +"Only this,--that your house will be his house, and will be full +without me. A daughter's marriage is always a painful parting." + +"Is it, mamma?" + +"Not that I would have it otherwise than it is. Do not think that I +would wish to keep you at home with me. Of course you will both marry +and leave me. I hope that he to whom you are going to devote yourself +may be spared to love you and protect you." Then the widow's heart +became too full, and she put away her child from her that she might +hide her face. + +"Mamma, mamma, I wish I was not going from you." + +"No, Lily; do not say that. I should not be contented with life if +I did not see both my girls married. I think that it is the only lot +which can give to a woman perfect content and satisfaction. I would +have you both married. I should be the most selfish being alive if I +wished otherwise." + +"Bell will settle herself near you, and then you will see more of her +and love her better than you do me." + +"I shall not love her better." + +"I wish she would marry some London man, and then you would come with +us, and be near to us. Do you know, mamma, I sometimes think you +don't like this place here." + +"Your uncle has been very kind to give it to us." + +"I know he has; and we have been very happy here. But if Bell should +leave you--" + +"Then should I go also. Your uncle has been very kind, but I +sometimes feel that his kindness is a burden which I should not be +strong enough to bear solely on my own shoulders. And what should +keep me here, then?" Mrs. Dale as she said this felt that the "here" +of which she spoke extended beyond the limits of the home which +she held through the charity of her brother-in-law. Might not all +the world, as far as she was concerned in it, be contained in that +"here"? How was she to live if both her children should be taken +away from her? She had already realized the fact that Crosbie's +house could never be a home to her,--never even a temporary home. +Her visits there must be of that full-dressed nature to which Lily +had alluded. It was impossible that she could explain this to Lily. +She would not prophesy that the hero of her girl's heart would be +inhospitable to his wife's mother; but such had been her reading +of Crosbie's character. Alas, alas, as matters were to go, his +hospitality or inhospitality would be matter of small moment to them. + +Again in the afternoon the two sisters were together, and Lily was +still more serious than her wont. It might almost have been gathered +from her manner that this marriage of hers was about to take place at +once, and that she was preparing to leave her home. "Bell," she said, +"I wonder why Dr. Crofts never comes to see us now?" + +"It isn't a month since he was here, at our party." + +"A month! But there was a time when he made some pretext for being +here every other day." + +"Yes, when mamma was ill." + +"Ay, and since mamma was well, too. But I suppose I must not break +the promise you made me give you. He's not to be talked about even +yet, is he?" + +"I didn't say he was not to be talked about. You know what I meant, +Lily; and what I meant then, I mean now." + +"And how long will it be before you mean something else? I do hope it +will come some day,--I do indeed." + +"It never will, Lily. I once fancied that I cared for Dr. Crofts, but +it was only fancy. I know it, because--" She was going to explain +that her knowledge on that point was assured to her, because since +that day she had felt that she might have learned to love another +man. But that other man had been Mr. Crosbie, and so she stopped +herself. + +"I wish he would come and ask you himself." + +"He will never do so. He would never ask such a question without +encouragement, and I shall give him none. Nor will he ever think of +marrying till he can do so without,--without what he thinks to be +imprudence as regards money. He has courage enough to be poor himself +without unhappiness, but he has not courage to endure poverty with a +wife. I know well what his feelings are." + +"Well, we shall see," said Lily. "I shouldn't wonder if you were +married first now, Bell. For my part I'm quite prepared to wait for +three years." + +Late on that evening the squire returned to Allington, Bernard having +driven over to meet him at the station. He had telegraphed to his +nephew that he would be back by a late train, and no more than this +had been heard from him since he went. On that day Bernard had seen +none of the ladies at the Small House. With Bell at the present +moment it was impossible that he should be on easy terms. He could +not meet her alone without recurring to the one special subject of +interest between them, and as to that he did not choose to speak +without much forethought. He had not known himself, when he had gone +about his wooing so lightly, thinking it a slight thing, whether or +no he might be accepted. Now it was no longer a slight thing to him. +I do not know that it was love that made him so eager; not good, +honest, downright love. But he had set his heart upon the object, and +with the wilfulness of a Dale was determined that it should be his. +He had no remotest idea of giving up his cousin, but he had at last +persuaded himself that she was not to be won without some toil, and +perhaps also some delay. + +Nor had he been in a humour to talk either to Mrs. Dale or to Lily. +He feared that Lady Julia's news was true,--that at any rate there +might be in it something of truth; and while thus in doubt he could +not go down to the Small House. So he hung about the place by +himself, with a cigar in his mouth, fearing that something evil was +going to happen, and when the message came for him, almost shuddered +as he seated himself in the gig. What would it become him to do +in this emergency if Crosbie had truly been guilty of the villany +with which Lady Julia had charged him? Thirty years ago he would +have called the man out, and shot at him till one of them was hit. +Now-a-days it was hardly possible for a man to do that; and yet what +would the world say of him if he allowed such an injury as this to +pass without vengeance? + +His uncle, as he came forth from the station with his travelling-bag +in his hand, was stern, gloomy, and silent. He came out and took his +place in the gig almost without speaking. There were strangers about, +and therefore his nephew at first could ask no question, but as the +gig turned the corner out of the station-house yard he demanded the +news. + +"What have you heard?" he said. + +But even then the squire did not answer at once. He shook his +head, and turned away his face, as though he did not choose to be +interrogated. + +"Have you seen him, sir?" asked Bernard. + +"No, he has not dared to see me." + +"Then it is true?" + +"True?--yes, it is all true. Why did you bring the scoundrel here? It +has been your fault." + +"No, sir; I must contradict that. I did not know him for a +scoundrel." + +"But it was your duty to have known him before you brought him here +among them. Poor girl! how is she to be told?" + +"Then she does not know it?" + +"I fear not. Have you seen them?" + +"I saw them yesterday, and she did not know it then; she may have +heard it to-day." + +"I don't think so. I believe he has been too great a coward to write +to her. A coward indeed! How can any man find the courage to write +such a letter as that?" + +By degrees the squire told his tale. How he had gone to Lady Julia, +had made his way to London, had tracked Crosbie to his club, and had +there learned the whole truth from Crosbie's friend, Fowler Pratt, we +already know. "The coward escaped me while I was talking to the man +he sent down," said the squire. "It was a concerted plan, and I think +he was right. I should have brained him in the hall of the club." +On the following morning Pratt had called upon him at his inn with +Crosbie's apology. "His apology!" said the squire. "I have it in my +pocket. Poor reptile; wretched worm of a man! I cannot understand +it. On my honour, Bernard, I do not understand it. I think men are +changed since I knew much of them. It would have been impossible for +me to write such a letter as that." He went on telling how Pratt had +brought him this letter, and had stated that Crosbie declined an +interview. "The gentleman had the goodness to assure me that no good +could come from such a meeting. 'You mean,' I answered, 'that I +cannot touch pitch and not be defiled!' He acknowledged that the man +was pitch. Indeed, he could not say a word for his friend." + +"I know Pratt. He is a gentleman. I am sure he would not excuse him." + +"Excuse him! How could any one excuse him? Words could not be found +to excuse him." And then he sat silent for some half mile. "On my +honour, Bernard, I can hardly yet bring myself to believe it. It is +so new to me. It makes me feel that the world is changed, and that it +is no longer worth a man's while to live in it." + +"And he is engaged to this other girl?" + +"Oh, yes; with the full consent of the family. It is all arranged, +and the settlements, no doubt, in the lawyer's hands by this time. He +must have gone away from here determined to throw her over. Indeed, +I don't suppose he ever meant to marry her. He was just passing away +his time here in the country." + +"He meant it up to the time of his leaving." + +"I don't think it. Had he found me able and willing to give her a +fortune he might, perhaps, have married her. But I don't think he +meant it for a moment after I told him that she would have nothing. +Well, here we are. I may truly say that I never before came back to +my own house with so sore a heart." + +They sat silently over their supper, the squire showing more open +sorrow than might have been expected from his character. "What am +I to say to them in the morning?" he repeated over and over again. +"How am I to do it? And if I tell the mother, how is she to tell her +child?" + +"Do you think that he has given no intimation of his purpose?" + +"As far as I can tell, none. That man Pratt knew that he had not done +so yesterday afternoon. I asked him what were the intentions of his +blackguard friend, and he said that he did not know--that Crosbie +would probably have written to me. Then he brought me this letter. +There it is," and the squire threw the letter over the table; "read +it and let me have it back. He thinks probably that the trouble is +now over as far as he is concerned." + +It was a vile letter to have written--not because the language was +bad, or the mode of expression unfeeling, or the facts falsely +stated--but because the thing to be told was in itself so vile. +There are deeds which will not bear a gloss--sins as to which the +perpetrator cannot speak otherwise than as a reptile; circumstances +which change a man and put upon him the worthlessness of vermin. +Crosbie had struggled hard to write it, going home to do it after his +last interview on that night with Pratt. But he had sat moodily in +his chair at his lodgings, unable to take the pen in his hand. Pratt +was to come to him at his office on the following morning, and he +went to bed resolving that he would write it at his desk. On the next +day Pratt was there before a word of it had been written. + +"I can't stand this kind of thing," said Pratt. "If you mean me to +take it, you must write it at once." Then, with inward groaning, +Crosbie sat himself at his table, and the words at last were +forthcoming. Such words as they were! "I know that I can have no +excuse to make to you--or to her. But, circumstanced as I now am, +the truth is the best. I feel that I should not make Miss Dale +happy; and, therefore, as an honest man, I think I best do my duty +by relinquishing the honour which she and you had proposed for me." +There was more of it, but we all know of what words such letters are +composed, and how men write when they feel themselves constrained to +write as reptiles. + +"As an honest man!" repeated the squire. "On my honour, Bernard, as a +gentleman, I do not understand it. I cannot believe it possible that +the man who wrote that letter was sitting the other day as a guest at +my table." + +"What are we to do to him?" said Bernard, after a while. + +"Treat him as you would a rat. Throw your stick at him, if he comes +under your feet; but beware, above all things, that he does not get +into your house. That is too late for us now." + +"There must be more than that, uncle." + +"I don't know what more. There are deeds for committing which a +man is doubly damned, because he has screened himself from overt +punishment by the nature of his own villany. We have to remember +Lily's name, and do what may best tend to her comfort. Poor girl! +poor girl!" + +Then they were silent, till the squire rose and took his bed candle. +"Bernard," he said, "let my sister-in-law know early to-morrow that +I will see her here, if she will be good enough to come to me after +breakfast. Do not have anything else said at the Small House. It may +be that he has written to-day." + +Then the squire went to bed, and Bernard sat over the dining-room +fire, meditating on it all. How would the world expect that he should +behave to Crosbie? and what should he do when he met Crosbie at the +club? + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +THE BOARD. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +Crosbie, as we already know, went to his office in Whitehall on the +morning after his escape from Sebright's, at which establishment he +left the Squire of Allington in conference with Fowler Pratt. He had +seen Fowler Pratt again that same night, and the course of the story +will have shown what took place at that interview. + +He went early to his office, knowing that he had before him the work +of writing two letters, neither of which would run very glibly from +his pen. One was to be his missive to the squire, to be delivered by +his friend; the other, that fatal epistle to poor Lily, which, as the +day passed away, he found himself utterly unable to accomplish. The +letter to the squire he did write, under certain threats; and, as we +have seen, was considered to have degraded himself to the vermin rank +of humanity by the meanness of his production. + +But on reaching his office he found that other cares awaited +him,--cares which he would have taken much delight in bearing, had +the state of his mind enabled him to take delight in anything. On +entering the lobby of his office, at ten o'clock, he became aware +that he was received by the messengers assembled there with almost +more than their usual deference. He was always a great man at +the General Committee Office; but there are shades of greatness +and shades of deference, which, though quite beyond the powers +of definition, nevertheless manifest themselves clearly to the +experienced ear and eye. He walked through to his own apartment, and +there found two official letters addressed to him lying on his table. +The first which came to hand, though official, was small, and marked +private, and it was addressed in the handwriting of his old friend, +Butterwell, the outgoing secretary. "I shall see you in the morning, +nearly as soon as you get this," said the semi-official note; "but +I must be the first to congratulate you on the acquisition of my old +shoes. They will be very easy in the wearing to you, though they +pinched my corns a little at first. I dare say they want new soling, +and perhaps they are a little down at heels; but you will find some +excellent cobbler to make them all right, and will give them a grace +in the wearing which they have sadly lacked since they came into my +possession. I wish you much joy with them," &c., &c. He then opened +the larger official letter, but that had now but little interest for +him. He could have made a copy of the contents without seeing them. +The Board of Commissioners had had great pleasure in promoting him to +the office of secretary, vacated by the promotion of Mr. Butterwell +to a seat at their own Board; and then the letter was signed by Mr. +Butterwell himself. + +How delightful to him would have been this welcome on his return +to his office had his heart in other respects been free from care! +And as he thought of this, he remembered all Lily's charms. He told +himself how much she excelled the noble scion of the De Courcy stock, +with whom he was now destined to mate himself; how the bride he +had rejected excelled the one he had chosen in grace, beauty, faith, +freshness, and all feminine virtues. If he could only wipe out the +last fortnight from the facts of his existence! But fortnights such +as those are not to be wiped out,--not even with many sorrowful years +of tedious scrubbing. + +And at this moment it seemed to him as though all those impediments +which had frightened him when he had thought of marrying Lily Dale +were withdrawn. That which would have been terrible with seven or +eight hundred a year, would have been made delightful with twelve or +thirteen. Why had his fate been so unkind to him? Why had not this +promotion come to him but one fortnight earlier? Why had it not been +declared before he had made his visit to that terrible castle? He +even said to himself that if he had positively known the fact before +Pratt had seen Mr. Dale, he would have sent a different message to +the squire, and would have braved the anger of all the race of the De +Courcys. But in that he lied to himself, and he knew that he did so. +An earl, in his imagination, was hedged by so strong a divinity, that +his treason towards Alexandrina could do no more than peep at what +it would. It had been considered but little by him, when the project +first offered itself to his mind, to jilt the niece of a small rural +squire; but it was not in him to jilt the daughter of a countess. + +That house full of babies in St. John's Wood appeared to him now +under a very different guise from that which it wore as he sat in his +room at Courcy Castle on the evening of his arrival there. Then such +an establishment had to him the flavour of a graveyard. It was as +though he were going to bury himself alive. Now that it was out of +his reach, he thought of it as a paradise upon earth. And then he +considered what sort of a paradise Lady Alexandrina would make for +him. It was astonishing how ugly was the Lady Alexandrina, how old, +how graceless, how destitute of all pleasant charm, seen through the +spectacles which he wore at the present moment. + +During his first hour at the office he did nothing. One or two of the +younger clerks came in and congratulated him with much heartiness. He +was popular at his office, and they had got a step by his promotion. +Then he met one or two of the elder clerks, and was congratulated +with much less heartiness. "I suppose it's all right," said one bluff +old gentleman. "My time is gone by, I know. I married too early to be +able to wear a good coat when I was young, and I never was acquainted +with any lords or lords' families." The sting of this was the sharper +because Crosbie had begun to feel how absolutely useless to him had +been all that high interest and noble connection which he had formed. +He had really been promoted because he knew more about his work than +any of the other men, and Lady De Courcy's influential relation at +the India Board had not yet even had time to write a note upon the +subject. + +At eleven Mr. Butterwell came into Crosbie's room, and the new +secretary was forced to clothe himself in smiles. Mr. Butterwell was +a pleasant, handsome man of about fifty, who had never yet set the +Thames on fire, and had never attempted to do so. He was perhaps a +little more civil to great men and a little more patronizing to those +below him than he would have been had he been perfect. But there +was something frank and English even in his mode of bowing before +the mighty ones, and to those who were not mighty he was rather too +civil than either stern or supercilious. He knew that he was not very +clever, but he knew also how to use those who were clever. He seldom +made any mistake, and was very scrupulous not to tread on men's +corns. Though he had no enemies, yet he had a friend or two; and we +may therefore say of Mr. Butterwell that he had walked his path in +life discreetly. At the age of thirty-five he had married a lady with +some little fortune, and now he lived a pleasant, easy, smiling life +in a villa at Putney. When Mr. Butterwell heard, as he often did +hear, of the difficulty which an English gentleman has of earning his +bread in his own country, he was wont to look back on his own career +with some complacency. He knew that he had not given the world much; +yet he had received largely, and no one had begrudged it to him. +"Tact," Mr. Butterwell used to say to himself, as he walked along the +paths of his Putney villa. "Tact. Tact. Tact." + +"Crosbie," he said, as he entered the room cheerily, "I congratulate +you with all my heart. I do, indeed. You have got the step early in +life, and you deserve it thoroughly;--much better than I did when I +was appointed to the same office." + +"Oh, no," said Crosbie, gloomily. + +"But I say, Oh, yes. We are deuced lucky to have such a man, and so I +told the commissioners." + +"I'm sure I'm very much obliged to you." + +"I've known it all along,--before you left even. Sir Raffle Buffle +had told me he was to go to the Income-tax Office. The chair is two +thousand there, you know; and I had been promised the first seat at +the Board." + +"Ah;--I wish I'd known," said Crosbie. + +"You are much better as you are," said Butterwell. "There's no +pleasure like a surprise! Besides, one knows a thing of that kind, +and yet doesn't know it. I don't mind saying now that I knew +it,--swearing that I knew it,--but I wouldn't have said so to a +living being the day before yesterday. There are such slips between +the cups and the lips. Suppose Sir Raffle had not gone to the +Income-tax!" + +"Exactly so," said Crosbie. + +"But it's all right now. Indeed I sat at the Board yesterday, though +I signed the letter afterwards. I'm not sure that I don't lose more +than I gain." + +"What! with three hundred a year more and less work?" + +"Ah, but look at the interest of the thing. The secretary sees +everything and knows everything. But I'm getting old, and, as you +say, the lighter work will suit me. By the by, will you come down to +Putney to-morrow? Mrs. Butterwell will be delighted to see the new +secretary. There's nobody in town now, so you can have no ground for +refusing." + +But Mr. Crosbie did find some ground for refusing. It would have been +impossible for him to have sat and smiled at Mrs. Butterwell's table +in his present frame of mind. In a mysterious, half-explanatory +manner, he let Mr. Butterwell know that private affairs of importance +made it absolutely necessary that he should remain that evening in +town. "And indeed," as he said, "he was not his own master just at +present." + +"By the by,--of course not. I had quite forgotten to congratulate you +on that head. So you're going to be married? Well; I'm very glad, and +hope you'll be as lucky as I have been." + +"Thank you," said Crosbie, again rather gloomily. + +"A young lady from near Guestwick, isn't it; or somewhere in those +parts?" + +"N--no," stammered Crosbie. "The lady comes from Barsetshire." + +"Why, I heard the name. Isn't she a Bell, or Tait, or Ball, or some +such name as that?" + +"No," said Crosbie, assuming what boldness he could command. "Her +name is De Courcy." + +"One of the earl's daughters?" + +"Yes," said Crosbie. + +"Oh, I beg your pardon. I'd heard wrong. You're going to be allied +to a very noble family, and I am heartily glad to hear of your +success in life." Then Butterwell shook him very cordially by the +hand,--having offered him no such special testimony of approval when +under the belief that he was going to marry a Bell, a Tait, or a +Ball. All the same, Mr. Butterwell began to think that there was +something wrong. He had heard from an indubitable source that +Crosbie had engaged himself to a niece of a squire with whom he +had been staying near Guestwick,--a girl without any money; and Mr. +Butterwell, in his wisdom, had thought his friend Crosbie to be +rather a fool for his pains. But now he was going to marry one of the +De Courcys! Mr. Butterwell was rather at his wits' ends. + +"Well; we shall be sitting at two, you know, and of course you'll +come to us. If you're at leisure before that I'll make over what +papers I have to you. I've not been a Lord Eldon in my office, and +they won't break your back." + +Immediately after that Fowler Pratt had been shown into Crosbie's +room, and Crosbie had written the letter to the squire under Pratt's +eye. + +He could take no joy in his promotion. When Pratt left him he tried +to lighten his heart. He endeavoured to throw Lily and her wrongs +behind him, and fix his thoughts on his advancing successes in life; +but he could not do it. A self-imposed trouble will not allow itself +to be banished. If a man lose a thousand pounds by a friend's fault, +or by a turn in the wheel of fortune, he can, if he be a man, put +his grief down and trample it under foot; he can exorcise the spirit +of his grievance, and bid the evil one depart from out of his house. +But such exorcism is not to be used when the sorrow has come from a +man's own folly and sin;--especially not if it has come from his own +selfishness. Such are the cases which make men drink; which drive +them on to the avoidance of all thought; which create gamblers and +reckless prodigals; which are the promoters of suicide. How could he +avoid writing this letter to Lily? He might blow his brains out, and +so let there be an end of it all. It was to such reflections that he +came, when he sat himself down endeavouring to reap satisfaction from +his promotion. + +But Crosbie was not a man to commit suicide. In giving him his due I +must protest that he was too good for that. He knew too well that a +pistol-bullet could not be the be-all and the end-all here, and there +was too much manliness in him for so cowardly an escape. The burden +must be borne. But how was he to bear it? There he sat till it was +two o'clock, neglecting Mr. Butterwell and his office papers, and +not stirring from his seat till a messenger summoned him before the +Board. The Board, as he entered the room, was not such a Board as +the public may, perhaps, imagine such Boards to be. There was a +round table, with a few pens lying about, and a comfortable leathern +arm-chair at the side of it, farthest from the door. Sir Raffle +Buffle was leaving his late colleagues, and was standing with his +back to the fire-place, talking very loudly. Sir Raffle was a great +bully, and the Board was uncommonly glad to be rid of him; but as +this was to be his last appearance at the Committee Office, they +submitted to his voice meekly. Mr. Butterwell was standing close to +him, essaying to laugh mildly at Sir Raffle's jokes. A little man, +hardly more than five feet high, with small but honest-looking eyes, +and close-cut hair, was standing behind the arm-chair, rubbing his +hands together, and longing for the departure of Sir Raffle, in order +that he might sit down. This was Mr. Optimist, the new chairman, +in praise of whose appointment the Daily Jupiter had been so loud, +declaring that the present Minister was showing himself superior +to all Ministers who had ever gone before him, in giving promotion +solely on the score of merit. The Daily Jupiter, a fortnight since, +had published a very eloquent article, strongly advocating the claims +of Mr. Optimist, and was naturally pleased to find that its advice +had been taken. Has not an obedient Minister a right to the praise of +those powers which he obeys? + + +[ILLUSTRATION: The Board.] + + +Mr. Optimist was, in truth, an industrious little gentleman, very +well connected, who had served the public all his life, and who was, +at any rate, honest in his dealings. Nor was he a bully, such as his +predecessor. It might, however, be a question whether he carried +guns enough for the command in which he was now to be employed. +There was but one other member of the Board, Major Fiasco by name, +a discontented, broken-hearted, silent man, who had been sent to +the General Committee Office some few years before because he was +not wanted anywhere else. He was a man who had intended to do great +things when he entered public life, and had possessed the talent +and energy for things moderately great. He had also possessed to a +certain extent the ear of those high in office; but, in some way, +matters had not gone well with him, and in running his course he had +gone on the wrong side of the post. He was still in the prime of +life, and yet all men knew that Major Fiasco had nothing further to +expect from the public or from the Government. Indeed, there were not +wanting those who said that Major Fiasco was already in receipt of a +liberal income, for which he gave no work in return; that he merely +filled a chair for four hours a day four or five days a week, signing +his name to certain forms and documents, reading, or pretending to +read, certain papers, but, in truth, doing no good. Major Fiasco, on +the other hand, considered himself to be a deeply injured individual, +and he spent his life in brooding over his wrongs. He believed now +in nothing and in nobody. He had begun public life striving to be +honest, and he now regarded all around him as dishonest. He had no +satisfaction in any man other than that which he found when some +event would show to him that this or that other compeer of his own +had proved himself to be self-interested, false, or fraudulent. +"Don't tell me, Butterwell," he would say--for with Mr. Butterwell +he maintained some semi-official intimacy, and he would take that +gentleman by the button-hole, holding him close. "Don't tell me. I +know what men are. I've seen the world. I've been looking at things +with my eyes open. I knew what he was doing." And then he would +tell of the sly deed of some official known well to them both, not +denouncing it by any means, but affecting to take it for granted +that the man in question was a rogue. Butterwell would shrug his +shoulders, and laugh gently, and say that, upon his word, he didn't +think the world so bad as Fiasco made it out to be. + +Nor did he; for Butterwell believed in many things. He believed +in his Putney villa on this earth, and he believed also that he +might achieve some sort of Putney villa in the world beyond without +undergoing present martyrdom. His Putney villa first, with all its +attendant comforts, and then his duty to the public afterwards. It +was thus that Mr. Butterwell regulated his conduct; and as he was +solicitous that the villa should be as comfortable a home to his wife +as to himself, and that it should be specially comfortable to his +friends, I do not think that we need quarrel with his creed. + +Mr. Optimist believed in everything, but especially he believed in +the Prime Minister, in the Daily Jupiter, in the General Committee +Office, and in himself. He had long thought that everything was +nearly right; but now that he himself was chairman at the General +Committee Office, he was quite sure that everything must be right. +In Sir Raffle Buffle, indeed, he had never believed; and now it was, +perhaps, the greatest joy of his life that he should never again be +called upon to hear the tones of that terrible knight's hated voice. + +Seeing who were the components of the new Board, it may be presumed +that Crosbie would look forward to enjoying a not uninfluential +position in his office. There were, indeed, some among the clerks who +did not hesitate to say that the new secretary would have it pretty +nearly all his own way. As for "Old Opt," there would be, they said, +no difficulty about him. Only tell him that such and such a decision +was his own, and he would be sure to believe the teller. Butterwell +was not fond of work, and had been accustomed to lean upon Crosbie +for many years. As for Fiasco, he would be cynical in words, but +wholly indifferent in deed. If the whole office were made to go to +the mischief, Fiasco, in his own grim way, would enjoy the confusion. + +"Wish you joy, Crosbie," said Sir Raffle, standing up on the rug, +waiting for the new secretary to go up to him and shake hands. But +Sir Raffle was going, and the new secretary did not indulge him. + +"Thank ye, Sir Raffle," said Crosbie, without going near the rug. + +"Mr. Crosbie, I congratulate you most sincerely," said Mr. Optimist. +"Your promotion has been the result altogether of your own merit. You +have been selected for the high office which you are now called upon +to fill solely because it has been thought that you are the most +fit man to perform the onerous duties attached to it. Hum--h-m--ha. +As regards my share in the recommendation which we found ourselves +bound to submit to the Treasury, I must say that I never felt less +hesitation in my life, and I believe I may declare as much as regards +the other members of the Board." And Mr. Optimist looked around +him for approving words. He had come forward from his standing +ground behind his chair to welcome Crosbie, and had shaken his hand +cordially. Fiasco also had risen from his seat, and had assured +Crosbie in a whisper that he had feathered his nest uncommon well. +Then he had sat down again. + +"Indeed you may, as far as I am concerned," said Butterwell. + +"I told the Chancellor of the Exchequer," said Sir Raffle, speaking +very loud and with much authority, "that unless he had some +first-rate man to send from elsewhere I could name a fitting +candidate. 'Sir Raffle,' he said, 'I mean to keep it in the office, +and therefore shall be glad of your opinion.' 'In that case, Mr. +Chancellor,' said I, 'Mr. Crosbie must be the man.' 'Mr. Crosbie +shall be the man,' said the Chancellor. And Mr. Crosbie is the man." + +"Your friend Sark spoke to Lord Brock about it," said Fiasco. Now the +Earl of Sark was a young nobleman of much influence at the present +moment, and Lord Brock was the Prime Minister. "You should thank Lord +Sark." + +"Had as much to do with it as if my footman had spoken," said Sir +Raffle. + +"I am very much obliged to the Board for their good opinion," said +Crosbie, gravely. "I am obliged to Lord Sark as well,--and also to +your footman, Sir Raffle, if, as you seem to say, he has interested +himself in my favour." + +"I didn't say anything of the kind," said Sir Raffle. "I thought +it right to make you understand that it was my opinion, given, of +course, officially, which prevailed with the Chancellor of the +Exchequer. Well, gentlemen, as I shall be wanted in the city, I will +say good morning to you. Is my carriage ready, Boggs?" Upon which the +attendant messenger opened the door, and the great Sir Raffle Buffle +took his final departure from the scene of his former labours. + +"As to the duties of your new office"--and Mr. Optimist continued his +speech, taking no other notice of the departure of his enemy than +what was indicated by an increased brightness of his eye and a more +satisfactory tone of voice--"you will find yourself quite familiar +with them." + +"Indeed he will," said Butterwell. + +"And I am quite sure that you will perform them with equal credit +to yourself, satisfaction to the department, and advantage to the +public. We shall always be glad to have your opinion on any subject +of importance that may come before us; and as regards the internal +discipline of the office, we feel that we may leave it safely in your +hands. In any matter of importance you will, of course, consult us, +and I feel very confident that we shall go on together with great +comfort and with mutual confidence." Then Mr. Optimist looked at his +brother commissioners, sat down in his arm-chair, and taking in his +hands some papers before him, began the routine business of the day. + +It was nearly five o'clock when, on this special occasion, the +secretary returned from the board-room to his own office. Not for +a moment had the weight been off his shoulders while Sir Raffle +had been bragging or Mr. Optimist making his speech. He had been +thinking, not of them, but of Lily Dale; and though they had not +discovered his thoughts, they had perceived that he was hardly like +himself. + +"I never saw a man so little elated by good fortune in my life," said +Mr. Optimist. + +"Ah, he's got something on his mind," said Butterwell. "He's going to +be married, I believe." + +"If that's the case, it's no wonder he shouldn't be elated," said +Major Fiasco, who was himself a bachelor. + +When in his own room again, Crosbie at once seized on a sheet of +note-paper, as though by hurrying himself on with it he could get +that letter to Allington written. But though the paper was before +him, and the pen in his hand, the letter did not, would not, get +itself written. With what words was he to begin it? To whom should it +be written? How was he to declare himself the villain which he had +made himself? The letters from his office were taken away every night +shortly after six, and at six o'clock he had not written a word. "I +will do it at home to-night," he said to himself, and then, tearing +off a scrap of paper, he scratched those few lines which Lily +received, and which she had declined to communicate to her mother or +sister. Crosbie, as he wrote them, conceived that they would in some +way prepare the poor girl for the coming blow,--that they would, at +any rate, make her know that all was not right; but in so supposing +he had not counted on the constancy of her nature, nor had he thought +of the promise which she had given him that nothing should make her +doubt him. He wrote the scrap, and then taking his hat walked off +through the gloom of the November evening up Charing Cross and St. +Martin's Lane, towards the Seven Dials and Bloomsbury, into regions +of the town with which he had no business, and which he never +frequented. He hardly knew where he went or wherefore. How was he +to escape from the weight of the burden which was now crushing +him? It seemed to him as though he would change his position with +thankfulness for that of the junior clerk in his office, if only that +junior clerk had upon his mind no such betrayal of trust as that of +which he was guilty. + +At half-past seven he found himself at Sebright's, and there he +dined. A man will dine, even though his heart be breaking. Then he +got into a cab, and had himself taken home to Mount Street. During +his walk he had sworn to himself that he would not go to bed that +night till the letter was written and posted. It was twelve before +the first words were marked on the paper, and yet he kept his oath. +Between two and three, in the cold moonlight, he crawled out and +deposited his letter in the nearest post-office. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +JOHN EAMES RETURNS TO BURTON CRESCENT. + + +John Eames and Crosbie returned to town on the same day. It will be +remembered how Eames had assisted Lord De Guest in the matter of the +bull, and how great had been the earl's gratitude on the occasion. +The memory of this, and the strong encouragement which he received +from his mother and sister for having made such a friend by his +gallantry, lent some slight satisfaction to his last hours at home. +But his two misfortunes were too serious to allow of anything like +real happiness. He was leaving Lily behind him, engaged to be married +to a man whom he hated, and he was returning to Burton Crescent, +where he would have to face Amelia Roper,--Amelia either in her rage +or in her love. The prospect of Amelia in her rage was very terrible +to him; but his greatest fear was of Amelia in her love. He had in +his letter declined matrimony; but what if she talked down all his +objections, and carried him off to church in spite of himself! + +When he reached London and got into a cab with his portmanteau, he +could hardly fetch up courage to bid the man drive him to Burton +Crescent. "I might as well go to an hotel for the night," he said to +himself, "and then I can learn how things are going on from Cradell +at the office." Nevertheless, he did give the direction to Burton +Crescent, and when it was once given felt ashamed to change it. But, +as he was driven up to the well-known door, his heart was so low +within him that he might almost be said to have lost it. When the +cabman demanded whether he should knock, he could not answer; and +when the maid-servant at the door greeted him, he almost ran away. + +"Who's at home?" said he, asking the question in a very low voice. + +"There's missus," said the girl, "and Miss Spruce, and Mrs. Lupex. +He's away somewhere, in his tantrums again; and there's Mr.--" + +"Is Miss Roper here?" he said, still whispering. + +"Oh, yes! Miss Mealyer's here," said the girl, speaking in a cruelly +loud voice. "She was in the dining-room just now, putting out the +table. Miss Mealyer!" And the girl, as she called out the name, +opened the dining-room door. Johnny Eames felt that his knees were +too weak to support him. + +But Miss Mealyer was not in the dining-room. She had perceived the +advancing cab of her sworn adorer, and had thought it expedient to +retreat from her domestic duties, and fortify herself among her +brushes and ribbons. Had it been possible that she should know how +very weak and cowardly was the enemy against whom she was called upon +to put herself in action, she might probably have fought her battle +somewhat differently, and have achieved a speedy victory, at the cost +of an energetic shot or two. But she did not know. She thought it +probable that she might obtain power over him and manage him; but it +did not occur to her that his legs were so weak beneath him that she +might almost blow him over with a breath. None but the worst and most +heartless of women know the extent of their own power over men;--as +none but the worst and most heartless of men know the extent of their +power over women. Amelia Roper was not a good specimen of the female +sex, but there were worse women than her. + +"She ain't there, Mr. Eames; but you'll see her in the drawen-room," +said the girl. "And it's she'll be glad to see you back again, +Mr. Eames." But he scrupulously passed the door of the upstairs +sitting-room, not even looking within it, and contrived to get +himself into his own chamber without having encountered anybody. +"Here's yer 'ot water, Mr. Eames," said the girl, coming up to him +after an interval of half-an-hour; "and dinner'll be on the table in +ten minutes. Mr. Cradell is come in, and so is missus's son." + +It was still open to him to go out and dine at some eating-house in +the Strand. He could start out, leaving word that he was engaged, +and so postpone the evil hour. He had almost made up his mind to +do so, and certainly would have done it, had not the sitting-room +door opened as he was on the landing-place. The door opened, and he +found himself confronting the assembled company. First came Cradell, +and leaning on his arm, I regret to say, was Mrs. Lupex,--_Egyptia +conjux!_ Then there came Miss Spruce with young Roper; Amelia and her +mother brought up the rear together. There was no longer question of +flight now; and poor Eames, before he knew what he was doing, was +carried down into the dining-room with the rest of the company. They +were all glad to see him, and welcomed him back warmly, but he was +so much beside himself that he could not ascertain whether Amelia's +voice was joined with the others. He was already seated at table, and +had before him a plate of soup, before he recognized the fact that he +was sitting between Mrs. Roper and Mrs. Lupex. The latter lady had +separated herself from Mr. Cradell as she entered the room. "Under +all the circumstances perhaps it will be better for us to be apart," +she said. "A lady can't make herself too safe; can she, Mrs. Roper? +There's no danger between you and me, is there, Mr. Eames,--specially +when Miss Amelia is opposite?" The last words, however, were intended +to be whispered into his ear. + +But Johnny made no answer to her; contenting himself for the moment +with wiping the perspiration from his brow. There was Amelia opposite +to him, looking at him--the very Amelia to whom he had written, +declining the honour of marrying her. Of what her mood towards him +might be, he could form no judgment from her looks. Her face was +simply stern and impassive, and she seemed inclined to eat her dinner +in silence. A slight smile of derision had passed across her face as +she heard Mrs. Lupex whisper, and it might have been discerned that +her nose, at the same time, became somewhat elevated; but she said +not a word. + +"I hope you've enjoyed yourself, Mr. Eames, among the vernal beauties +of the country," said Mrs. Lupex. + +"Very much, thank you," he replied. + +"There's nothing like the country at this autumnal season of the +year. As for myself, I've never been accustomed to remain in London +after the breaking up of the _beau monde_. We've usually been to +Broadstairs, which is a very charming place, with most elegant +society, but now--" and she shook her head, by which all the company +knew that she intended to allude to the sins of Mr. Lupex. + +"I'd never wish to sleep out of London for my part," said Mrs. Roper. +"When a woman's got a house over her head, I don't think her mind's +ever easy out of it." + +She had not intended any reflection on Mrs. Lupex for not having a +house of her own, but that lady immediately bristled up. "That's +just what the snails say, Mrs. Roper. And as for having a house of +one's own, it's a very good thing, no doubt, sometimes; but that's +according to circumstances. It has suited me lately to live in +lodgings, but there's no knowing whether I mayn't fall lower than +that yet, and have--" but here she stopped herself, and looking over +at Mr. Cradell nodded her head. + +"And have to let them," said Mrs. Roper. "I hope you'll be more lucky +with your lodgers than I have been with some of mine. Jemima, hand +the potatoes to Miss Spruce. Miss Spruce, do let me send you a little +more gravy? There's plenty here, really." Mrs. Roper was probably +thinking of Mr. Todgers. + +"I hope I shall," said Mrs. Lupex. "But, as I was saying, Broadstairs +is delightful. Were you ever at Broadstairs, Mr. Cradell?" + +"Never, Mrs. Lupex. I generally go abroad in my leave. One sees more +of the world, you know. I was at Dieppe last June, and found that +very delightful--though rather lonely. I shall go to Ostend this +year; only December is so late for Ostend. It was a deuced shame my +getting December, wasn't it, Johnny?" + +"Yes, it was," said Eames. "I managed better." + +"And what have you been doing, Mr. Eames?" said Mrs. Lupex, with one +of her sweetest smiles. "Whatever it may have been, you've not been +false to the cause of beauty, I'm sure." And she looked over to +Amelia with a knowing smile. But Amelia was engaged upon her plate, +and went on with her dinner without turning her eyes either on Mrs. +Lupex or on John Eames. + +"I haven't done anything particular," said Eames. "I've just been +staying with my mother." + +"We've been very social here, haven't we, Miss Amelia?" continued +Mrs. Lupex. "Only now and then a cloud comes across the heavens, +and the lights at the banquet are darkened." Then she put her +handkerchief up to her eyes, sobbing deeply, and they all knew that +she was again alluding to the sins of her husband. + +As soon as dinner was over the ladies with young Mr. Roper retired, +and Eames and Cradell were left to take their wine over the +dining-room fire,--or their glass of gin and water, as it might be. +"Well, Caudle, old fellow," said one. "Well, Johnny, my boy," said +the other. "What's the news at the office?" said Eames. + +"Muggeridge has been playing the very mischief." Muggeridge was the +second clerk in Cradell's room. "We're going to put him into Coventry +and not speak to him except officially. But to tell you the truth, +my hands have been so full here at home, that I haven't thought much +about the office. What am I to do about that woman?" + +"Do about her? How do about her?" + +"Yes; what am I to do about her? How am I to manage with her? There's +Lupex off again in one of his fits of jealousy." + +"But it's not your fault, I suppose?" + +"Well; I can't just say. I am fond of her, and that's the long and +the short of it; deuced fond of her." + +"But, my dear Caudle, you know she's that man's wife." + +"Oh, yes, I know all about it. I'm not going to defend myself. It's +wrong, I know,--pleasant, but wrong. But what's a fellow to do? I +suppose in strict morality I ought to leave the lodgings. But, by +George, I don't see why a man's to be turned out in that way. And +then I couldn't make a clean score with old mother Roper. But I say, +old fellow, who gave you the gold chain?" + +"Well; it was an old family friend at Guestwick; or rather, I should +say, a man who said he knew my father." + +"And he gave you that because he knew your governor! Is there a watch +to it?" + +"Yes, there's a watch. It wasn't exactly that. There was some trouble +about a bull. To tell the truth, it was Lord De Guest; the queerest +fellow, Caudle, you ever met in your life; but such a trump. I've got +to go and dine with him at Christmas." And then the old story of the +bull was told. + +"I wish I could find a lord in a field with a bull," said Cradell. We +may, however, be permitted to doubt whether Mr. Cradell would have +earned a watch even if he had had his wish. + +"You see," continued Cradell, reverting to the subject on which +he most delighted to talk, "I'm not responsible for that man's +ill-conduct." + +"Does anybody say you are?" + +"No; nobody says so. But people seem to think so. When he is by I +hardly speak to her. She is thoughtless and giddy, as women are, and +takes my arm, and that kind of thing, you know. It makes him mad with +rage, but upon my honour I don't think she means any harm." + +"I don't suppose she does," said Eames. + +"Well; she may or she mayn't. I hope with all my heart she doesn't." + +"And where is he now?" + +"This is between ourselves, you know; but she went to find him +this afternoon. Unless he gives her money she can't stay here, nor, +for the matter of that, will she be able to go away. If I mention +something to you, you won't tell any one?" + +"Of course I won't." + +"I wouldn't have it known to any one for the world. I've lent her +seven pounds ten. It's that which makes me so short with mother +Roper." + +"Then I think you're a fool for your pains." + +"Ah, that's so like you. I always said you'd no feeling of real +romance. If I cared for a woman I'd give her the coat off my back." + +"I'd do better than that," said Johnny. "I'd give her the heart +out of my body. I'd be chopped up alive for a girl I loved; but it +shouldn't be for another man's wife." + +"That's a matter of taste. But she's been to Lupex to-day at that +house he goes to in Drury Lane. She had a terrible scene there. He +was going to commit suicide in the middle of the street, and she +declares that it all comes from jealousy. Think what a time I have +of it--standing always, as one may say, on gunpowder. He may turn +up here any moment, you know. But, upon my word, for the life of me +I cannot desert her. If I were to turn my back on her she wouldn't +have a friend in the world. And how's L. D.? I'll tell you what it +is--you'll have some trouble with the divine Amelia." + +"Shall I?" + +"By Jove, you will. But how's L. D. all this time?" + +"L. D. is engaged to be married to a man named Adolphus Crosbie," +said poor Johnny, slowly. "If you please, we will not say any more +about her." + +"Whew--w--w! That's what makes you so down in the mouth! L. D. going +to marry Crosbie! Why, that's the man who is to be the new secretary +at the General Committee Office. Old Huffle Scuffle, who was their +chair, has come to us, you know. There's been a general move at the +G. C., and this Crosbie has got to be secretary. He's a lucky chap, +isn't he?" + +"I don't know anything about his luck. He's one of those fellows that +make me hate them the first time I look at them. I've a sort of a +feeling that I shall live to kick him some day." + +"That's the time, is it? Then I suppose Amelia will have it all her +own way now." + +"I'll tell you what, Caudle. I'd sooner get up through the trap-door, +and throw myself off the roof into the area, than marry Amelia +Roper." + +"Have you and she had any conversation since you came back?" + +"Not a word." + +"Then I tell you fairly you've got trouble before you. Amelia and +Maria--Mrs. Lupex, I mean--are as thick as thieves just at present, +and they have been talking you over. Maria--that is, Mrs. Lupex--lets +it all out to me. You'll have to mind where you are, old fellow." + +Eames was not inclined to discuss the matter any further, so he +finished his toddy in silence. Cradell, however, who felt that there +was something in his affairs of which he had reason to be proud, soon +returned to the story of his own very extraordinary position. "By +Jove, I don't know that a man was ever so circumstanced," he said. +"She looks to me to protect her, and yet what can I do?" + +At last Cradell got up, and declared that he must go to the ladies. +"She's so nervous, that unless she has some one to countenance her +she becomes unwell." + +Eames declared his purpose of going to the divan, or to the theatre, +or to take a walk in the streets. The smiles of beauty had no longer +charms for him in Burton Crescent. + +"They'll expect you to take a cup of tea the first night," said +Cradell; but Eames declared that they might expect it. + +"I'm in no humour for it," said he. "I'll tell you what, Cradell, +I shall leave this place, and take rooms for myself somewhere. I'll +never go into a lodging-house again." + +As he so spoke, he was standing at the dining-room door; but he was +not allowed to escape in this easy way. Jemima, as he went out into +the passage, was there with a three-cornered note in her hand. "From +Miss Mealyer," she said. "Miss Mealyer is in the back parlour all by +herself." + +Poor Johnny took the note, and read it by the lamp over the front +door. + +"Are you not going to speak to me on the day of your return? It +cannot be that you will leave the house without seeing me for a +moment. I am in the back parlour." + +When he had read these words, he paused in the passage, with his +hat on. Jemima, who could not understand why any young man should +hesitate as to seeing his lady-love in the back parlour alone, +whispered to him again, in her audible way, "Miss Mealyer is there, +sir; and all the rest on 'em's upstairs!" So compelled, Eames put +down his hat, and walked with slow steps into the back parlour. + +How was it to be with the enemy? Was he to encounter Amelia in anger, +or Amelia in love? She had seemed to be stern and defiant when he +had ventured to steal a look at her across the dining-table, and now +he expected that she would turn upon him with loud threatenings and +protestations as to her wrongs. But it was not so. When he entered +the room she was standing with her back to him, leaning on the +mantel-piece, and at the first moment she did not essay to speak. He +walked into the middle of the room and stood there, waiting for her +to begin. + +"Shut the door!" she said, looking over her shoulder. "I suppose you +don't want the girl to hear all you've got to say to me!" + +Then he shut the door; but still Amelia stood with her back to him, +leaning upon the mantel-piece. + +It did not seem that he had much to say, for he remained perfectly +silent. + +"Well!" said Amelia, after a long pause, and she then again looked +over her shoulder. "Well, Mr. Eames!" + +"Jemima gave me your note, and so I've come," said he. + +"And is this the way we meet!" she exclaimed, turning suddenly upon +him, and throwing her long black hair back over her shoulders. There +certainly was some beauty about her. Her eyes were large and bright, +and her shoulders were well turned. She might have done as an +artist's model for a Judith, but I doubt whether any man, looking +well into her face, could think that she would do well as a wife. +"Oh, John, is it to be thus, after love such as ours?" And she +clasped her hands together, and stood before him. + +"I don't know what you mean," said Eames. + +"If you are engaged to marry L. D., tell me so at once. Be a man, and +speak out, sir." + +"No," said Eames; "I am not engaged to marry the lady to whom you +allude." + +"On your honour?" + +"I won't have her spoken about. I'm not going to marry her, and +that's enough." + +"Do you think that I wish to speak of her? What can L. D. be to me as +long as she is nothing to you? Oh, Johnny, why did you write me that +heartless letter?" Then she leaned upon his shoulder--or attempted to +do so. + +I cannot say that Eames shook her off, seeing that he lacked the +courage to do so; but he shuffled his shoulder about so that the +support was uneasy to her, and she was driven to stand erect again. +"Why did you write that cruel letter?" she said again. + +"Because I thought it best, Amelia. What's a man to do with ninety +pounds a year, you know?" + +"But your mother allows you twenty." + +"And what's a man to do with a hundred and ten?" + +"Rising five pounds every year," said the well-informed Amelia. "Of +course we should live here, with mamma, and you would just go on +paying her as you do now. If your heart was right, Johnny, you +wouldn't think so much about money. If you loved me--as you said you +did--" Then a little sob came, and the words were stopped. The words +were stopped, but she was again upon his shoulder. What was he to +do? In truth, his only wish was to escape, and yet his arm, quite in +opposition to his own desires, found its way round her waist. In such +a combat a woman has so many points in her favour! "Oh, Johnny," she +said again, as soon as she felt the pressure of his arm. "Gracious, +what a beautiful watch you've got," and she took the trinket out of +his pocket. "Did you buy that?" + +"No; it was given to me." + +"John Eames, did L. D. give it you?" + +"No, no, no," he shouted, stamping on the floor as he spoke. + +"Oh, I beg your pardon," said Amelia, quelled for the moment by his +energy. "Perhaps it was your mother." + +"No; it was a man. Never mind about the watch now." + +"I wouldn't mind anything, Johnny, if you would tell me that you +loved me again. Perhaps I oughtn't to ask you, and it isn't becoming +in a lady; but how can I help it, when you know you've got my heart. +Come upstairs and have tea with us now, won't you?" + +What was he to do? He said that he would go up and have tea; and +as he led her to the door he put down his face and kissed her. Oh, +Johnny Eames! But then a woman in such a contest has so many points +in her favour. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +IS IT FROM HIM? + + +I have already declared that Crosbie wrote and posted the fatal +letter to Allington, and we must now follow it down to that place. +On the morning following the squire's return to his own house, Mrs. +Crump, the post-mistress at Allington, received a parcel by post +directed to herself. She opened it, and found an enclosure addressed +to Mrs. Dale, with a written request that she would herself deliver +it into that lady's own hand at once. This was Crosbie's letter. + +"It's from Miss Lily's gentleman," said Mrs. Crump, looking at the +handwriting. "There's something up, or he wouldn't be writing to her +mamma in this way." But Mrs. Crump lost no time in putting on her +bonnet, and trudging up with the letter to the Small House. "I must +see the missus herself," said Mrs. Crump. Whereupon Mrs. Dale was +called downstairs into the hall, and there received the packet. +Lily was in the breakfast-parlour, and had seen the post-mistress +arrive;--had seen also that she carried a letter in her hand. For a +moment she had thought that it was for her, and imagined that the +old woman had brought it herself from simple good-nature. But Lily, +when she heard her mother mentioned, instantly withdrew and shut the +parlour door. Her heart misgave her that something was wrong, but +she hardly tried to think what it might be. After all, the regular +postman might bring the letter she herself expected. Bell was +not yet downstairs, and she stood alone over the tea-cups on the +breakfast-table, feeling that there was something for her to fear. +Her mother did not come at once into the room, but, after a pause +of a moment or two, went again upstairs. So she remained, either +standing against the table, or at the window, or seated in one of the +two arm-chairs, for a space of ten minutes, when Bell entered the +room. + +"Isn't mamma down yet?" said Bell. + +"Bell," said Lily, "something has happened. Mamma has got a letter." + +"Happened! What has happened? Is anybody ill? Who is the letter +from?" And Bell was going to return through the door in search of her +mother. + +"Stop, Bell," said Lily. "Do not go to her yet. I think it's +from--Adolphus." + +"Oh, Lily, what do you mean?" + +"I don't know, dear. We'll wait a little longer. Don't look like +that, Bell." And Lily strove to appear calm, and strove almost +successfully. + +"You have frightened me so," said Bell. + +"I am frightened myself. He only sent me one line yesterday, and now +he has sent nothing. If some misfortune should have happened to him! +Mrs. Crump brought down the letter herself to mamma, and that is so +odd, you know." + +"Are you sure it was from him?" + +"No; I have not spoken to her. I will go up to her now. Don't you +come, Bell. Oh! Bell, do not look so unhappy." She then went over and +kissed her sister, and after that, with very gentle steps, made her +way up to her mother's room. "Mamma, may I come in?" she said. + +"Oh! my child!" + +"I know it is from him, mamma. Tell me all at once." + +Mrs. Dale had read the letter. With quick, glancing eyes, she had +made herself mistress of its whole contents, and was already aware +of the nature and extent of the sorrow which had come upon them. It +was a sorrow that admitted of no hope. The man who had written that +letter could never return again; nor if he should return could he be +welcomed back to them. The blow had fallen, and it was to be borne. +Inside the letter to herself had been a very small note addressed to +Lily. "Give her the enclosed," Crosbie had said in his letter, "if +you do not now think it wrong to do so. I have left it open, that you +may read it." Mrs. Dale, however, had not yet read it, and she now +concealed it beneath her handkerchief. + +I will not repeat at length Crosbie's letter to Mrs. Dale. It covered +four sides of letter-paper, and was such a letter that any man who +wrote it must have felt himself to be a rascal. We saw that he had +difficulty in writing it, but the miracle was, that any man could +have found it possible to write it. "I know you will curse me," said +he; "and I deserve to be cursed. I know that I shall be punished +for this, and I must bear my punishment. My worst punishment will +be this,--that I never more shall hold up my head again." And then, +again, he said:--"My only excuse is my conviction that I should +never make her happy. She has been brought up as an angel, with pure +thoughts, with holy hopes, with a belief in all that is good, and +high, and noble. I have been surrounded through my whole life by +things low, and mean, and ignoble. How could I live with her, or she +with me? I know now that this is so; but my fault has been that I +did not know it when I was there with her. I choose to tell you all," +he continued, towards the end of the letter, "and therefore I let you +know that I have engaged myself to marry another woman. Ah! I can +foresee how bitter will be your feelings when you read this: but they +will not be so bitter as mine while I write it. Yes; I am already +engaged to one who will suit me, and whom I may suit. You will not +expect me to speak ill of her who is to be near and dear to me. But +she is one with whom I may mate myself without an inward conviction +that I shall destroy all her happiness by doing so. Lilian," he said, +"shall always have my prayers; and I trust that she may soon forget, +in the love of an honest man, that she ever knew one so dishonest +as--Adolphus Crosbie." + +Of what like must have been his countenance as he sat writing such +words of himself under the ghastly light of his own small, solitary +lamp? Had he written his letter at his office, in the day-time, with +men coming in and out of his room, he could hardly have written of +himself so plainly. He would have bethought himself that the written +words might remain, and be read hereafter by other eyes than those +for which they were intended. But, as he sat alone, during the small +hours of the night, almost repenting of his sin with true repentance, +he declared to himself that he did not care who might read them. They +should, at any rate, be true. Now they had been read by her to whom +they had been addressed, and the daughter was standing before the +mother to hear her doom. + +"Tell me all at once," Lily had said; but in what words was her +mother to tell her? + +"Lily," she said, rising from her seat, and leaving the two letters +on the couch; that addressed to the daughter was hidden beneath a +handkerchief, but that which she had read she left open and in sight. +She took both the girl's hands in hers as she looked into her face, +and spoke to her. "Lily, my child!" Then she burst into sobs, and was +unable to tell her tale. + +"Is it from him, mamma? May I read it? He cannot be--" + +"It is from Mr. Crosbie." + +"Is he ill, mamma? Tell me at once. If he is ill I will go to him." + +"No, my darling, he is not ill. Not yet;--do not read it yet. Oh, +Lily! It brings bad news; very bad news." + +"Mamma, if he is not in danger, I can read it. Is it bad to him, or +only bad to me?" + +At this moment the servant knocked, and not waiting for an answer +half opened the door. + +"If you please, ma'am, Mr. Bernard is below, and wants to speak to +you." + +"Mr. Bernard! ask Miss Bell to see him." + +"Miss Bell is with him, ma'am, but he says that he specially wants to +speak to you." + +Mrs. Dale felt that she could not leave Lily alone. She could not +take the letter away, nor could she leave her child with the letter +open. + +"I cannot see him," said Mrs. Dale. "Ask him what it is. Tell him +I cannot come down just at present." And then the servant went, and +Bernard left his message with Bell. + +"Bernard," she had said, "do you know of anything? Is there anything +wrong about Mr. Crosbie?" Then, in a few words, he told her all, and +understanding why his aunt had not come down to him, he went back +to the Great House. Bell, almost stupefied by the tidings, seated +herself at the table unconsciously, leaning upon her elbows. + +"It will kill her," she said to herself. "My Lily, my darling Lily! +It will surely kill her!" + +But the mother was still with the daughter, and the story was still +untold. + +"Mamma," said Lily, "whatever it is, I must, of course, be made to +know it. I begin to guess the truth. It will pain you to say it. +Shall I read the letter?" + +Mrs. Dale was astonished at her calmness. It could not be that +she had guessed the truth, or she would not stand like that, with +tearless eyes and unquelled courage before her. + +"You shall read it, but I ought to tell you first. Oh, my child, my +own one!" Lily was now leaning against the bed, and her mother was +standing over her, caressing her. + +"Then tell me," said she. "But I know what it is. He has thought it +all over while away from me, and he finds that it must not be as we +have supposed. Before he went I offered to release him, and now he +knows that he had better accept my offer. Is it so, mamma?" In answer +to this Mrs. Dale did not speak, but Lily understood from her signs +that it was so. + +"He might have written it to me, myself," said Lily, very proudly. +"Mamma, we will go down to breakfast. He has sent nothing to me, +then?" + +"There is a note. He bids me read it, but I have not opened it. It is +here." + +"Give it me," said Lily, almost sternly. "Let me have his last words +to me;" and she took the note from her mother's hands. + +"Lily," said the note, "your mother will have told you all. Before +you read these few words you will know that you have trusted one who +was quite untrustworthy. I know that you will hate me.--I cannot +even ask you to forgive me. You will let me pray that you may yet be +happy.--A. C." + +She read these few words, still leaning against the bed. Then she +got up, and walking to a chair, seated herself with her back to her +mother. Mrs. Dale moving silently after her stood over the back of +the chair, not daring to speak to her. So she sat for some five +minutes, with her eyes fixed upon the open window, and with Crosbie's +note in her hand. + +"I will not hate him, and I do forgive him," she said at last, +struggling to command her voice, and hardly showing that she could +not altogether succeed in her attempt. "I may not write to him +again, but you shall write and tell him so. Now we will go down to +breakfast." And so saying, she got up from her chair. + +Mrs. Dale almost feared to speak to her, her composure was so +complete, and her manner so stern and fixed. She hardly knew how to +offer pity and sympathy, seeing that pity seemed to be so little +necessary, and that even sympathy was not demanded. And she could not +understand all that Lily had said. What had she meant by the offer to +release him? Had there, then, been some quarrel between them before +he went? Crosbie had made no such allusion in his letter. But Mrs. +Dale did not dare to ask any questions. + +"You frighten me, Lily," she said. "Your very calmness frightens me." + +"Dear mamma!" and the poor girl absolutely smiled as she embraced her +mother. "You need not be frightened by my calmness. I know the truth +well. I have been very unfortunate;--very. The brightest hopes of +my life are all gone;--and I shall never again see him whom I love +beyond all the world!" Then at last she broke down, and wept in her +mother's arms. + +There was not a word of anger spoken then against him who had done +all this. Mrs. Dale felt that she did not dare to speak in anger +against him, and words of anger were not likely to come from poor +Lily. She, indeed, hitherto did not know the whole of his offence, +for she had not read his letter. + +"Give it me, mamma," she said at last. "It has to be done sooner or +later." + +"Not now, Lily. I have told you all,--all that you need know at +present." + +"Yes; now, mamma," and again that sweet silvery voice became stern. +"I will read it now, and there shall be an end." Whereupon Mrs. Dale +gave her the letter and she read it in silence. Her mother, though +standing somewhat behind her, watched her narrowly as she did so. She +was now lying over upon the bed, and the letter was on the pillow, as +she propped herself upon her arm. Her tears were running, and ever +and again she would stop to dry her eyes. Her sobs, too, were very +audible, but she went on steadily with her reading till she came to +the line on which Crosbie told that he had already engaged himself +to another woman. Then her mother could see that she paused suddenly, +and that a shudder slightly convulsed all her limbs. + +"He has been very quick," she said, almost in a whisper; and then she +finished the letter. "Tell him, mamma," she said, "that I do forgive +him, and I will not hate him. You will tell him that,--from me; will +you not?" And then she raised herself from the bed. + +Mrs. Dale would give her no such assurance. In her present mood her +feelings against Crosbie were of a nature which she herself hardly +could understand or analyze. She felt that if he were present she +could almost fly at him as would a tigress. She had never hated +before as she now hated this man. He was to her a murderer, and worse +than a murderer. He had made his way like a wolf into her little +fold, and torn her ewe-lamb and left her maimed and mutilated for +life. How could a mother forgive such an offence as that, or consent +to be the medium through which forgiveness should be expressed? + +"You must, mamma; or, if you do not, I shall do so. Remember that I +love him. You know what it is to have loved one single man. He has +made me very unhappy; I hardly know yet how unhappy. But I have loved +him, and do love him. I believe, in my heart, that he still loves me. +Where this has been there must not be hatred and unforgiveness." + +"I will pray that I may become able to forgive him," said Mrs. Dale. + +"But you must write to him those words. Indeed you must, mamma! 'She +bids me tell you that she has forgiven you, and will not hate you.' +Promise me that!" + +"I can make no promise now, Lily. I will think about it, and +endeavour to do my duty." + +Lily was now seated, and was holding the skirt of her mother's dress. + +"Mamma," she said, looking up into her mother's face, "you must be +very good to me now; and I must be very good to you. We shall be +always together now. I must be your friend and counsellor; and be +everything to you, more than ever. I must fall in love with you now;" +and she smiled again, and the tears were almost dry upon her cheeks. + +At last they went down to the breakfast-room, from which Bell had not +moved. Mrs. Dale entered the room first, and Lily followed, hiding +herself for a moment behind her mother. Then she came forward boldly, +and taking Bell in her arms, clasped her close to her bosom. + +"Bell," she said, "he has gone." + +"Lily! Lily! Lily!" said Bell, weeping. + +"He has gone! We shall talk it over in a few days, and shall know how +to do so without losing ourselves in misery. To-day we will say no +more about it. I am so thirsty, Bell; do give me my tea;" and she sat +herself down at the breakfast-table. + +Lily's tea was given to her, and she drank it. Beyond that I cannot +say that any of them partook with much heartiness of the meal. They +sat there, as they would have sat if no terrible thunderbolt had +fallen among them, and no word further was spoken about Crosbie and +his conduct. Immediately after breakfast they went into the other +room, and Lily, as was her wont, sat herself immediately down to her +drawing. Her mother looked at her with wistful eyes, longing to bid +her spare herself, but she shrank from interfering with her. For a +quarter of an hour Lily sat over her board, with her brush or pencil +in her hand, and then she rose up and put it away. + +"It is no good pretending," she said. "I am only spoiling the things; +but I will be better to-morrow. I'll go away and lie down by myself, +mamma." And so she went. + +Soon after this Mrs. Dale took her bonnet and went up to the Great +House, having received her brother-in-law's message from Bell. + +"I know what he has to tell me," she said; "but I might as well go. +It will be necessary that we should speak to each other about it." So +she walked across the lawn, and up into the hall of the Great House. +"Is my brother in the book-room?" she said to one of the maids; and +then knocking at the door, went in unannounced. + +The squire rose from his arm-chair, and came forward to meet her. + +"Mary," he said, "I believe you know it all." + +"Yes," she said. "You can read that," and she handed him Crosbie's +letter. "How was one to know that any man could be so wicked as +that?" + +"And she has heard it?" asked the squire. "Is she able to bear it?" + +"Wonderfully! She has amazed me by her strength. It frightens me; +for I know that a relapse must come. She has never sunk for a moment +beneath it. For myself, I feel as though it were her strength that +enables me to bear my share of it." And then she described to the +squire all that had taken place that morning. + +"Poor child!" said the squire. "Poor child! What can we do for her? +Would it be good for her to go away for a time? She is a sweet, +good, lovely girl, and has deserved better than that. Sorrow and +disappointment come to us all; but they are doubly heavy when they +come so early." + +Mrs. Dale was almost surprised at the amount of sympathy which he +showed. + +"And what is to be his punishment?" she asked. + +"The scorn which men and women will feel for him; those, at least, +whose esteem or scorn are matters of concern to any one. I know no +other punishment. You would not have Lily's name brought before a +tribunal of law?" + +"Certainly not that." + +"And I will not have Bernard calling him out. Indeed, it would be for +nothing; for in these days a man is not expected to fight duels." + +"You cannot think that I would wish that." + +"What punishment is there, then? I know of none. There are evils +which a man may do, and no one can punish him. I know of nothing. I +went up to London after him, but he contrived to crawl out of my way. +What can you do to a rat but keep clear of him?" + +Mrs. Dale had felt in her heart that it would be well if Crosbie +could be beaten till all his bones were sore. I hardly know whether +such should have been a woman's thought, but it was hers. She had +no wish that he should be made to fight a duel. In that there would +have been much that was wicked, and in her estimation nothing that +was just. But she felt that if Bernard would thrash the coward for +his cowardice she would love her nephew better than ever she had +loved him. Bernard also had considered it probable that he might +be expected to horsewhip the man who had jilted his cousin, and, +as regarded the absolute bodily risk, he would not have felt any +insuperable objection to undertake the task. But such a piece of work +was disagreeable to him in many ways. He hated the idea of a row at +his club. He was most desirous that his cousin's name should not be +made public. He wished to avoid anything that might be impolitic. A +wicked thing had been done, and he was quite ready to hate Crosbie +as Crosbie ought to be hated; but as regarded himself, it made him +unhappy to think that the world might probably expect him to punish +the man who had so lately been his friend. And then he did not know +where to catch him, or how to thrash him when caught. He was very +sorry for his cousin, and felt strongly that Crosbie should not be +allowed to escape. But what was he to do? + +"Would she like to go anywhere?" said the squire again, anxious, if +he could, to afford solace by some act of generosity. At this moment +he would have settled a hundred a year for life upon his niece if by +so doing he could have done her any good. + +"She will be better at home," said Mrs. Dale. "Poor thing. For a +while she will wish to avoid going out." + +"I suppose so;" and then there was a pause. "I'll tell you what, +Mary; I don't understand it. On my honour I don't understand it. +It is to me as wonderful as though I had caught the man picking my +pence out of my pocket. I don't think any man in the position of a +gentleman would have done such a thing when I was young. I don't +think any man would have dared to do it. But now it seems that a +man may act in that way and no harm come to him. He had a friend +in London who came to me and talked about it as though it were +some ordinary, everyday transaction of life. Yes; you may come in, +Bernard. The poor child knows it all now." + +Bernard offered to his aunt what of solace and sympathy he had to +offer, and made some sort of half-expressed apology for having +introduced this wolf into their flock. "We always thought very much +of him at his club," said Bernard. + +"I don't know much about your London clubs now-a-days," said his +uncle, "nor do I wish to do so if the society of that man can be +endured after what he has now done." + +"I don't suppose half-a-dozen men will ever know anything about it," +said Bernard. + +"Umph!" ejaculated the squire. He could not say that he wished +Crosbie's villany to be widely discussed, seeing that Lily's name was +so closely connected with it. But yet he could not support the idea +that Crosbie should not be punished by the frown of the world at +large. It seemed to him that from this time forward any man speaking +to Crosbie should be held to have disgraced himself by so doing. + +"Give her my best love," he said, as Mrs. Dale got up to take her +leave; "my very best love. If her old uncle can do anything for her +she has only to let me know. She met the man in my house, and I feel +that I owe her much. Bid her come and see me. It will be better for +her than moping at home. And Mary"--this he said to her, whispering +into her ear--"think of what I said to you about Bell." + +Mrs. Dale, as she walked back to her own house, acknowledged to +herself that her brother-in-law's manner was different to her from +anything that she had hitherto known of him. + +During the whole of that day Crosbie's name was not mentioned at +the Small House. Neither of the girls stirred out, and Bell spent +the greater part of the afternoon sitting, with her arm round her +sister's waist, upon the sofa. Each of them had a book; but though +there was little spoken, there was as little read. Who can describe +the thoughts that were passing through Lily's mind as she remembered +the hours which she had passed with Crosbie, of his warm assurances +of love, of his accepted caresses, of her uncontrolled and +acknowledged joy in his affection? It had all been holy to her then; +and now those things which were then sacred had been made almost +disgraceful by his fault. And yet as she thought of this she declared +to herself over and over again that she would forgive him;--nay, that +she had forgiven him. "And he shall know it, too," she said, speaking +almost out loud. + +"Lily, dear Lily," said Bell, "turn your thoughts away from it for a +while, if you can." + +"They won't go away," said Lily. And that was all that was said +between them on the subject. + +Everybody would know it! I doubt whether that must not be one of the +bitterest drops in the cup which a girl in such circumstances is made +to drain. Lily perceived early in the day that the parlour-maid well +knew that she had been jilted. The girl's manner was intended to +convey sympathy; but it did convey pity; and Lily for a moment felt +angry. But she remembered that it must be so, and smiled upon the +girl, and spoke kindly to her. What mattered it? All the world would +know it in a day or two. + +On the following day she went up, by her mother's advice, to see her +uncle. + +"My child," said he, "I am sorry for you. My heart bleeds for you." + +"Uncle," she said, "do not mind it. Only do this for me,--do not talk +about it,--I mean to me." + +"No, no; I will not. That there should ever have been in my house so +great a rascal--" + +"Uncle! uncle! I will not have that! I will not listen to a word +against him from any human being,--not a word! Remember that!" And +her eyes flashed as she spoke. + +He did not answer her, but took her hand and pressed it, and then she +left him. "The Dales were ever constant!" he said to himself, as he +walked up and down the terrace before his house. "Ever constant!" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + +THE WOUNDED FAWN. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +Nearly two months passed away, and it was now Christmas time at +Allington. It may be presumed that there was no intention at either +house that the mirth should be very loud. Such a wound as that +received by Lily Dale was one from which recovery could not be quick, +and it was felt by all the family that a weight was upon them which +made gaiety impracticable. As for Lily herself it may be said that +she bore her misfortune with all a woman's courage. For the first +week she stood up as a tree that stands against the wind, which +is soon to be shivered to pieces because it will not bend. During +that week her mother and sister were frightened by her calmness and +endurance. She would perform her daily task. She would go out through +the village, and appear at her place in church on the first Sunday. +She would sit over her book of an evening, keeping back her tears; +and would chide her mother and sister when she found that they were +regarding her with earnest anxiety. + +"Mamma, let it all be as though it had never been," she said. + +"Ah, dear! if that were but possible!" + +"God forbid that it should be possible inwardly," Lily replied, "but +it is possible outwardly. I feel that you are more tender to me +than you used to be, and that upsets me. If you would only scold me +because I am idle, I should soon be better." But her mother could not +speak to her as she perhaps might have spoken had no grief fallen +upon her pet. She could not cease from those anxious tender glances +which made Lily know that she was looked on as a fawn wounded almost +to death. + +At the end of the first week she gave way. "I won't get up, Bell," +she said one morning, almost petulantly. "I am ill;--I had better +lie here out of the way. Don't make a fuss about it. I'm stupid and +foolish, and that makes me ill." + +Thereupon Mrs. Dale and Bell were frightened, and looked into each +other's blank faces, remembering stories of poor broken-hearted girls +who had died because their loves had been unfortunate,--as small wax +tapers whose lights are quenched if a breath of wind blows upon them +too strongly. But then Lily was in truth no such slight taper as +that. Nor was she the stem that must be broken because it will not +bend. She bent herself to the blast during that week of illness, and +then arose with her form still straight and graceful, and with her +bright light unquenched. + +After that she would talk more openly to her mother about her +loss,--openly and with a true appreciation of the misfortune which +had befallen her; but with an assurance of strength which seemed to +ridicule the idea of a broken heart. "I know that I can bear it," she +said, "and that I can bear it without lasting unhappiness. Of course +I shall always love him, and must feel almost as you felt when you +lost my father." + +In answer to this Mrs. Dale could say nothing. She could not speak +out her thoughts about Crosbie, and explain to Lily that he was +unworthy of her love. Love does not follow worth, and is not given +to excellence;--nor is it destroyed by ill-usage, nor killed by blows +and mutilation. When Lily declared that she still loved the man +who had so ill-used her, Mrs. Dale would be silent. Each perfectly +understood the other, but on that matter even they could not +interchange their thoughts with freedom. + +"You must promise never to be tired of me, mamma," said Lily. + +"Mothers do not often get tired of their children, whatever the +children may do of their mothers." + +"I'm not so sure of that when the children turn out old maids. And I +mean to have a will of my own, too, mamma; and a way also, if it be +possible. When Bell is married I shall consider it a partnership, and +I shan't do what I'm told any longer." + +"Forewarned will be forearmed." + +"Exactly;--and I don't want to take you by surprise. For a year or +two longer, till Bell is gone, I mean to be dutiful; but it would be +very stupid for a girl to be dutiful all her life." + +All of which Mrs. Dale understood thoroughly. It amounted to an +assertion on Lily's part that she had loved once and could never love +again; that she had played her game, hoping, as other girls hope, +that she might win the prize of a husband; but that, having lost, she +could never play the game again. It was that inward conviction on +Lily's part which made her say such words to her mother. But Mrs. +Dale would by no means allow herself to share this conviction. She +declared to herself that time would cure Lily's wound, and that her +child might yet be crowned by the bliss of a happy marriage. She +would not in her heart consent to that plan in accordance with which +Lily's destiny in life was to be regarded as already fixed. She +had never really liked Crosbie as a suitor, and would herself have +preferred John Eames, with all the faults of his hobbledehoyhood on +his head. It might yet come to pass that John Eames' love might be +made happy. + +But in the meantime Lily, as I have said, had become strong in her +courage, and recommenced the work of living with no lackadaisical +self-assurance that because she had been made more unhappy than +others, therefore she should allow herself to be more idle. Morning +and night she prayed for him, and daily, almost hour by hour, she +assured herself that it was still her duty to love him. It was hard, +this duty of loving, without any power of expressing such love. But +still she would do her duty. + +"Tell me at once, mamma," she said one morning, "when you hear that +the day is fixed for his marriage. Pray don't keep me in the dark." + +"It is to be in February," said Mrs. Dale. + +"But let me know the day. It must not be to me like ordinary days. +But do not look unhappy, mamma; I am not going to make a fool of +myself. I shan't steal off and appear in the church like a ghost." +And then, having uttered her little joke, a sob came, and she hid her +face on her mother's bosom. In a moment she raised it again. "Believe +me, mamma, that I am not unhappy," she said. + +After the expiration of that second week Mrs. Dale did write a letter +to Crosbie: + + + I suppose [she said] it is right that I should acknowledge + the receipt of your letter. I do not know that I have + aught else to say to you. It would not become me as a + woman to say what I think of your conduct, but I believe + that your conscience will tell you the same things. If it + do not, you must, indeed, be hardened. I have promised + my child that I will send to you a message from her. She + bids me tell you that she has forgiven you, and that she + does not hate you. May God also forgive you, and may you + recover his love. + + MARY DALE. + + I beg that no rejoinder may be made to this letter, either + to myself or to any of my family. + + +The squire wrote no answer to the letter which he had received, nor +did he take any steps towards the immediate punishment of Crosbie. +Indeed he had declared that no such steps could be taken, explaining +to his nephew that such a man could be served only as one serves a +rat. + +"I shall never see him," he said once again; "if I did, I should not +scruple to hit him on the head with my stick; but I should think ill +of myself to go after him with such an object." + +And yet it was a terrible sorrow to the old man that the scoundrel +who had so injured him and his should escape scot-free. He had not +forgiven Crosbie. No idea of forgiveness had ever crossed his mind. +He would have hated himself had he thought it possible that he +could be induced to forgive such an injury. "There is an amount of +rascality in it,--of low meanness, which I do not understand," he +would say over and over again to his nephew. And then as he would +walk alone on the terrace he would speculate within his own mind +whether Bernard would take any steps towards avenging his cousin's +injury. "He is right," he would say to himself; "Bernard is quite +right. But when I was young I could not have stood it. In those +days a gentleman might have a fellow out who had treated him as he +has treated us. A man was satisfied in feeling that he had done +something. I suppose the world is different now-a-days." The world is +different; but the squire by no means acknowledged in his heart that +there had been any improvement. + +Bernard also was greatly troubled in his mind. He would have had no +objection to fight a duel with Crosbie, had duels in these days been +possible. But he believed them to be no longer possible,--at any rate +without ridicule. And if he could not fight the man, in what other +way was he to punish him? Was it not the fact that for such a fault +the world afforded no punishment? Was it not in the power of a man +like Crosbie to amuse himself for a week or two at the expense of +a girl's happiness for life, and then to escape absolutely without +any ill effects to himself? "I shall be barred out of my club lest +I should meet him," Bernard said to himself, "but he will not be +barred out." Moreover, there was a feeling within him that the matter +would be one of triumph to Crosbie rather than otherwise. In having +secured for himself the pleasure of his courtship with such a girl +as Lily Dale, without encountering the penalty usually consequent +upon such amusement, he would be held by many as having merited +much admiration. He had sinned against all the Dales, and yet +the suffering arising from his sin was to fall upon the Dales +exclusively. Such was Bernard's reasoning, as he speculated on the +whole affair, sadly enough,--wishing to be avenged, but not knowing +where to look for vengeance. For myself I believe him to have been +altogether wrong as to the light in which he supposed that Crosbie's +falsehood would be regarded by Crosbie's friends. Men will still talk +of such things lightly, professing that all is fair in love as it +is in war, and speaking almost with envy of the good fortunes of a +practised deceiver. But I have never come across the man who thought +in this way with reference to an individual case. Crosbie's own +judgment as to the consequences to himself of what he had done was +more correct than that formed by Bernard Dale. He had regarded the +act as venial as long as it was still to do,--while it was still +within his power to leave it undone; but from the moment of its +accomplishment it had forced itself upon his own view in its proper +light. He knew that he had been a scoundrel, and he knew that other +men would so think of him. His friend Fowler Pratt, who had the +reputation of looking at women simply as toys, had so regarded him. +Instead of boasting of what he had done, he was as afraid of alluding +to any matter connected with his marriage as a man is of talking of +the articles which he has stolen. He had already felt that men at his +club looked askance at him; and, though he was no coward as regarded +his own skin and bones, he had an undefined fear lest some day he +might encounter Bernard Dale purposely armed with a stick. The squire +and his nephew were wrong in supposing that Crosbie was unpunished. + +And as the winter came on he felt that he was closely watched by the +noble family of De Courcy. Some of that noble family he had already +learned to hate cordially. The Honourable John came up to town in +November, and persecuted him vilely;--insisted on having dinners +given to him at Sebright's, of smoking throughout the whole afternoon +in his future brother-in-law's rooms, and on borrowing his future +brother-in-law's possessions; till at last Crosbie determined that it +would be wise to quarrel with the Honourable John,--and he quarrelled +with him accordingly, turning him out of his rooms, and telling him +in so many words that he would have no more to do with him. + +"You'll have to do it, as I did," Mortimer Gazebee had said to him; +"I didn't like it because of the family, but Lady Amelia told me +that it must be so." Whereupon Crosbie took the advice of Mortimer +Gazebee. + +But the hospitality of the Gazebees was perhaps more distressing to +him than even the importunities of the Honourable John. It seemed +as though his future sister-in-law was determined not to leave him +alone. Mortimer was sent to fetch him up for the Sunday afternoons, +and he found that he was constrained to go to the villa in St. John's +Wood, even in opposition to his own most strenuous will. He could +not quite analyze the circumstances of his own position, but he felt +as though he were a cock with his spurs cut off,--as a dog with his +teeth drawn. He found himself becoming humble and meek. He had to +acknowledge to himself that he was afraid of Lady Amelia, and almost +even afraid of Mortimer Gazebee. He was aware that they watched him, +and knew all his goings out and comings in. They called him Adolphus, +and made him tame. That coming evil day in February was dinned into +his ears. Lady Amelia would go and look at furniture for him, and +talked by the hour about bedding and sheets. "You had better get your +kitchen things at Tomkins'. They're all good, and he'll give you ten +per cent. off if you pay him ready money,--which of course you will, +you know!" Was it for this that he had sacrificed Lily Dale?--for +this that he had allied himself with the noble house of De Courcy? + +Mortimer had been at him about the settlements from the very first +moment of his return to London, and had already bound him up hand and +foot. His life was insured, and the policy was in Mortimer's hands. +His own little bit of money had been already handed over to be tied +up with Lady Alexandrina's little bit. It seemed to him that in +all the arrangements made the intention was that he should die off +speedily, and that Lady Alexandrina should be provided with a decent +little income, sufficient for St. John's Wood. Things were to be so +settled that he could not even spend the proceeds of his own money, +or of hers. They were to go, under the fostering hand of Mortimer +Gazebee, in paying insurances. If he would only die the day after +his marriage, there would really be a very nice sum of money for +Alexandrina, almost worthy of the acceptance of an earl's daughter. +Six months ago he would have considered himself able to turn Mortimer +Gazebee round his finger on any subject that could be introduced +between them. When they chanced to meet Gazebee had been quite humble +to him, treating him almost as a superior being. He had looked down +on Gazebee from a very great height. But now it seemed as though he +were powerless in this man's hands. + +But perhaps the countess had become his greatest aversion. She +was perpetually writing to him little notes in which she gave him +multitudes of commissions, sending him about as though he had been +her servant. And she pestered him with advice which was even worse +than her commissions, telling him of the style of life in which +Alexandrina would expect to live, and warning him very frequently +that such an one as he could not expect to be admitted within the +bosom of so noble a family without paying very dearly for that +inestimable privilege. Her letters had become odious to him, and +he would chuck them on one side, leaving them for the whole day +unopened. He had already made up his mind that he would quarrel with +the countess also, very shortly after his marriage; indeed, that he +would separate himself from the whole family if it were possible. +And yet he had entered into this engagement mainly with the view +of reaping those advantages which would accrue to him from being +allied to the De Courcys! The squire and his nephew were wretched +in thinking that this man was escaping without punishment, but they +might have spared themselves that misery. + +It had been understood from the first that he was to spend his +Christmas at Courcy Castle. From this undertaking it was quite out +of his power to enfranchise himself: but he resolved that his visit +should be as short as possible. Christmas Day unfortunately came on +a Monday, and it was known to the De Courcy world that Saturday was +almost a _dies non_ at the General Committee Office. As to those +three days there was no escape for him; but he made Alexandrina +understand that the three Commissioners were men of iron as to any +extension of those three days. "I must be absent again in February, +of course," he said, almost making his wail audible in the words he +used, "and therefore it is quite impossible that I should stay now +beyond the Monday." Had there been attractions for him at Courcy +Castle I think he might have arranged with Mr. Optimist for a week or +ten days. "We shall be all alone," the countess wrote to him, "and I +hope you will have an opportunity of learning more of our ways than +you have ever really been able to do as yet." This was bitter as gall +to him. But in this world all valuable commodities have their price; +and when men such as Crosbie aspire to obtain for themselves an +alliance with noble families, they must pay the market price for the +article which they purchase. + +"You'll all come up and dine with us on Monday," the squire said to +Mrs. Dale, about the middle of the previous week. + +"Well, I think not," said Mrs. Dale; "we are better, perhaps, as we +are." + +At this moment the squire and his sister-in-law were on much more +friendly terms than had been usual with them, and he took her reply +in good part, understanding her feeling. Therefore, he pressed his +request, and succeeded. + +"I think you're wrong," he said; "I don't suppose that we shall have +a very merry Christmas. You and the girls will hardly have that +whether you eat your pudding here or at the Great House. But it will +be better for us all to make the attempt. It's the right thing to do. +That's the way I look at it." + +"I'll ask Lily," said Mrs. Dale. + +"Do, do. Give her my love, and tell her from me that, in spite of all +that has come and gone, Christmas Day should still be to her a day of +rejoicing. We'll dine about three, so that the servants can have the +afternoon." + +"Of course we'll go," said Lily; "why not? We always do. And we'll +have blind-man's-buff with all the Boyces, as we had last year, if +uncle will ask them up." But the Boyces were not asked up for that +occasion. + +But Lily, though she put on it all so brave a face, had much to +suffer, and did in truth suffer greatly. If you, my reader, ever +chanced to slip into the gutter on a wet day, did you not find that +the sympathy of the bystanders was by far the severest part of your +misfortune? Did you not declare to yourself that all might yet be +well, if the people would only walk on and not look at you? And yet +you cannot blame those who stood and pitied you; or, perhaps, essayed +to rub you down, and assist you in the recovery of your bedaubed +hat. You, yourself, if you see a man fall, cannot walk by as though +nothing uncommon had happened to him. It was so with Lily. The people +of Allington could not regard her with their ordinary eyes. They +would look at her tenderly, knowing that she was a wounded fawn, +and thus they aggravated the soreness of her wound. Old Mrs. Hearn +condoled with her, telling her that very likely she would be better +off as she was. Lily would not lie about it in any way. "Mrs. Hearn," +she said, "the subject is painful to me." Mrs. Hearn said no more +about it, but on every meeting between them she looked the things she +did not say. "Miss Lily!" said Hopkins, one day, "Miss Lily!"--and +as he looked up into her face a tear had almost formed itself in his +old eye--"I knew what he was from the first. Oh, dear! oh, dear! if +I could have had him killed!" "Hopkins, how dare you?" said Lily. +"If you speak to me again in such a way, I will tell my uncle." She +turned away from him; but immediately turned back again, and put out +her little hand to him. "I beg your pardon," she said. "I know how +kind you are, and I love you for it." And then she went away. "I'll +go after him yet, and break the dirty neck of him," said Hopkins to +himself, as he walked down the path. + +Shortly before Christmas Day she called with her sister at the +vicarage. Bell, in the course of the visit, left the room with one of +the Boyce girls, to look at the last chrysanthemums of the year. Then +Mrs. Boyce took advantage of the occasion to make her little speech. +"My dear Lily," she said, "you will think me cold if I do not say one +word to you." "No, I shall not," said Lily, almost sharply, shrinking +from the finger that threatened to touch her sore. "There are things +which should never be talked about." "Well, well; perhaps so," said +Mrs. Boyce. But for a minute or two she was unable to fall back upon +any other topic, and sat looking at Lily with painful tenderness. I +need hardly say what were Lily's sufferings under such a gaze; but +she bore it, acknowledging to herself in her misery that the fault +did not lie with Mrs. Boyce. How could Mrs. Boyce have looked at her +otherwise than tenderly? + +It was settled, then, that Lily was to dine up at the Great House on +Christmas Day, and thus show to the Allington world that she was not +to be regarded as a person shut out from the world by the depth of +her misfortune. That she was right there can, I think, be no doubt; +but as she walked across the little bridge, with her mother and +sister, after returning from church, she would have given much to be +able to have turned round, and have gone to bed instead of to her +uncle's dinner. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + +PAWKINS'S IN JERMYN STREET. + + +The show of fat beasts in London took place this year on the +twentieth day of December, and I have always understood that a +certain bullock exhibited by Lord De Guest was declared by the +metropolitan butchers to have realized all the possible excellences +of breeding, feeding, and condition. No doubt the butchers of the +next half-century will have learned much better, and the Guestwick +beast, could it be embalmed and then produced, would excite only +ridicule at the agricultural ignorance of the present age; but Lord +De Guest took the praise that was offered to him, and found himself +in a seventh heaven of delight. He was never so happy as when +surrounded by butchers, graziers, and salesmen who were able to +appreciate the work of his life, and who regarded him as a model +nobleman. "Look at that fellow," he said to Eames, pointing to the +prize bullock. Eames had joined his patron at the show after his +office hours, looking on upon the living beef by gaslight. "Isn't he +like his sire? He was got by Lambkin, you know." + +"Lambkin," said Johnny, who had not as yet been able to learn much +about the Guestwick stock. + +"Yes, Lambkin. The bull that we had the trouble with. He has just got +his sire's back and fore-quarters. Don't you see?" + +"I daresay," said Johnny, who looked very hard, but could not see. + +"It's very odd," exclaimed the earl, "but do you know, that bull has +been as quiet since that day,--as quiet as--as anything. I think it +must have been my pocket-handkerchief." + +"I daresay it was," said Johnny;--"or perhaps the flies." + +"Flies!" said the earl, angrily. "Do you suppose he isn't used to +flies? Come away. I ordered dinner at seven, and it's past six now. +My brother-in-law, Colonel Dale, is up in town, and he dines with +us." So he took Johnny's arm, and led him off through the show, +calling his attention as he went to several beasts which were +inferior to his own. + +And then they walked down through Portman Square and Grosvenor +Square, and across Piccadilly to Jermyn Street. John Eames +acknowledged to himself that it was odd that he should have an earl +leaning on his arm as he passed along through the streets. At home, +in his own life, his daily companions were Cradell and Amelia Roper, +Mrs. Lupex and Mrs. Roper. The difference was very great, and yet he +found it quite as easy to talk to the earl as to Mrs. Lupex. + +"You know the Dales down at Allington, of course," said the earl. + +"Oh, yes, I know them." + +"But, perhaps, you never met the colonel." + +"I don't think I ever did." + +"He's a queer sort of fellow;--very well in his way, but he never +does anything. He and my sister live at Torquay, and as far as I +can find out, they neither of them have any occupation of any sort. +He's come up to town now because we both had to meet our family +lawyers and sign some papers, but he looks on the journey as a great +hardship. As for me, I'm a year older than he is, but I wouldn't mind +going up and down from Guestwick every day." + +"It's looking after the bull that does it," said Eames. + +"By George! you're right, Master Johnny. My sister and Crofts may +tell me what they like, but when a man's out in the open air for +eight or nine hours every day, it doesn't much matter where he goes +to sleep after that. This is Pawkins's,--capital good house, but not +so good as it used to be while old Pawkins was alive. Show Mr. Eames +up into a bedroom to wash his hands." + +Colonel Dale was much like his brother in face, but was taller, even +thinner, and apparently older. When Eames went into the sitting-room, +the colonel was there alone, and had to take upon himself the trouble +of introducing himself. He did not get up from his arm-chair, but +nodded gently at the young man. "Mr. Eames, I believe? I knew your +father at Guestwick, a great many years ago;" then he turned his face +back towards the fire and sighed. + +"It's got very cold this afternoon," said Johnny, trying to make +conversation. + +"It's always cold in London," said the colonel. + +"If you had to be here in August you wouldn't say so." + +"God forbid," said the colonel, and he sighed again, with his eyes +fixed upon the fire. Eames had heard of the very gallant way in which +Orlando Dale had persisted in running away with Lord De Guest's +sister, in opposition to very terrible obstacles, and as he now +looked at the intrepid lover, he thought that there must have been a +great change since those days. After that nothing more was said till +the earl came down. + +Pawkins's house was thoroughly old-fashioned in all things, and the +Pawkins of that day himself stood behind the earl's elbow when the +dinner began, and himself removed the cover from the soup tureen. +Lord De Guest did not require much personal attention, but he would +have felt annoyed if this hadn't been done. As it was he had a civil +word to say to Pawkins about the fat cattle, thereby showing that he +did not mistake Pawkins for one of the waiters. Pawkins then took his +lordship's orders about the wine and retired. + +"He keeps up the old house pretty well," said the earl to his +brother-in-law. "It isn't like what it was thirty years ago, but then +everything of that sort has got worse and worse." + +"I suppose it has," said the colonel. + +"I remember when old Pawkins had as good a glass of port as I've got +at home,--or nearly. They can't get it now, you know." + +"I never drink port," said the colonel. "I seldom take anything after +dinner, except a little negus." + +His brother-in-law said nothing, but made a most eloquent grimace as +he turned his face towards his soup-plate. Eames saw it, and could +hardly refrain from laughing. When, at half-past nine o'clock, the +colonel retired from the room, the earl, as the door was closed, +threw up his hands, and uttered the one word "negus!" Then Eames took +heart of grace and had his laughter out. + +The dinner was very dull, and before the colonel went to bed Johnny +regretted that he had been induced to dine at Pawkins's. It might be +a very fine thing to be asked to dinner with an earl, and John Eames +had perhaps received at his office some little accession of dignity +from the circumstance, of which he had been not unpleasantly aware; +but, as he sat at the table, on which there were four or five apples +and a plate of dried nuts, looking at the earl, as he endeavoured to +keep his eyes open, and at the colonel, to whom it seemed absolutely +a matter of indifference whether his companions were asleep or awake, +he confessed to himself that the price he was paying was almost +too dear. Mrs. Roper's tea-table was not pleasant to him, but even +that would have been preferable to the black dinginess of Pawkins's +mahogany, with the company of two tired old men, with whom he seemed +to have no mutual subject of conversation. Once or twice he tried a +word with the colonel, for the colonel sat with his eyes open looking +at the fire. But he was answered with monosyllables, and it was +evident to him that the colonel did not wish to talk. To sit still, +with his hands closed over each other on his lap, was work enough for +Colonel Dale during his after-dinner hours. + +But the earl knew what was going on. During that terrible conflict +between him and his slumber, in which the drowsy god fairly +vanquished him for some twenty minutes, his conscience was always +accusing him of treating his guests badly. He was very angry with +himself, and tried to arouse himself and talk. But his brother-in-law +would not help him in his efforts; and even Eames was not bright in +rendering him assistance. Then for twenty minutes he slept soundly, +and at the end of that he woke himself with one of his own snorts. +"By George!" he said, jumping up and standing on the rug, "we'll have +some coffee;" and after that he did not sleep any more. + +"Dale," said he, "won't you take some more wine?" + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Won't you take some more wine?"] + + +"Nothing more," said the colonel, still looking at the fire, and +shaking his head very slowly. + +"Come, Johnny, fill your glass." He had already got into the way +of calling his young friend Johnny, having found that Mrs. Eames +generally spoke of her son by that name. + +"I have been filling my glass all the time," said Eames, taking the +decanter again in his hand as he spoke. + +"I'm glad you've found something to amuse you, for it has seemed to +me that you and Dale haven't had much to say to each other. I've been +listening all the time." + +"You've been asleep," said the colonel. + +"Then there's been some excuse for my holding my tongue," said the +earl. "By-the-by, Dale, what do you think of that fellow Crosbie?" + +Eames' ears were instantly on the alert, and the spirit of dullness +vanished from him. + +"Think of him?" said the colonel. + +"He ought to have every bone in his skin broken," said the earl. + +"So he ought," said Eames, getting up from his chair in his +eagerness, and speaking in a tone somewhat louder than was perhaps +becoming in the presence of his seniors. "So he ought, my lord. He is +the most abominable rascal that ever I met in my life. I wish I was +Lily Dale's brother." Then he sat down again, remembering that he +was speaking in the presence of Lily's uncle, and of the father of +Bernard Dale, who might be supposed to occupy the place of Lily's +brother. + +The colonel turned his head round, and looked at the young man with +surprise. "I beg your pardon, sir," said Eames, "but I have known +Mrs. Dale and your nieces all my life." + +"Oh, have you?" said the colonel. "Nevertheless it is, perhaps, as +well not to make too free with a young lady's name. Not that I blame +you in the least, Mr. Eames." + +"I should think not," said the earl. "I honour him for his feeling. +Johnny, my boy, if ever I am unfortunate enough to meet that man, +I shall tell him my mind, and I believe you will do the same." On +hearing this John Eames winked at the earl, and made a motion with +his head towards the colonel, whose back was turned to him. And then +the earl winked back at Eames. + +"De Guest," said the colonel, "I think I'll go upstairs; I always +have a little arrowroot in my own room." + +"I'll ring the bell for a candle," said the host. Then the colonel +went, and as the door was closed behind him, the earl raised his two +hands and uttered that single word, "negus!" Whereupon Johnny burst +out laughing, and coming round to the fire, sat himself down in the +arm-chair which the colonel had left. + +"I've no doubt it's all right," said the earl; "but I shouldn't like +to drink negus myself, nor yet to have arrowroot up in my bedroom." + +"I don't suppose there's any harm in it." + +"Oh dear, no; I wonder what Pawkins says about him. But I suppose +they have them of all sorts in an hotel." + +"The waiter didn't seem to think much of it when he brought it." + +"No, no. If he'd asked for senna and salts, the waiter wouldn't have +showed any surprise. By-the-by, you touched him up about that poor +girl." + +"Did I, my lord? I didn't mean it." + +"You see he's Bernard Dale's father, and the question is, whether +Bernard shouldn't punish the fellow for what he has done. Somebody +ought to do it. It isn't right that he should escape. Somebody ought +to let Mr. Crosbie know what a scoundrel he has made himself." + +"I'd do it to-morrow, only I'm afraid--" + +"No, no, no," said the earl; "you are not the right person at all. +What have you got to do with it? You've merely known them as family +friends, but that's not enough." + +"No, I suppose not," said Eames, sadly. + +"Perhaps it's best as it is," said the earl. "I don't know that any +good would be got by knocking him over the head. And if we are to be +Christians, I suppose we ought to be Christians." + +"What sort of a Christian has he been?" + +"That's true enough; and if I was Bernard, I should be very apt to +forget my Bible lessons about meekness." + +"Do you know, my lord, I should think it the most Christian thing in +the world to pitch into him; I should, indeed. There are some things +for which a man ought to be beaten black and blue." + +"So that he shouldn't do them again?" + +"Exactly. You might say it isn't Christian to hang a man." + +"I'd always hang a murderer. It wasn't right to hang men for stealing +sheep." + +"Much better hang such a fellow as Crosbie," said Eames. + +"Well, I believe so. If any fellow wanted now to curry favour with +the young lady, what an opportunity he'd have." + +Johnny remained silent for a moment or two before he answered. "I'm +not so sure of that," he said, mournfully, as though grieving at the +thought that there was no chance of currying favour with Lily by +thrashing her late lover. + +"I don't pretend to know much about girls," said Lord De Guest; "but +I should think it would be so. I should fancy that nothing would +please her so much as hearing that he had caught it, and that all the +world knew that he'd caught it." The earl had declared that he didn't +know much about girls, and in so saying, he was no doubt right. + +"If I thought so," said Eames, "I'd find him out to-morrow." + +"Why so? what difference does it make to you?" Then there was another +pause, during which Johnny looked very sheepish. "You don't mean to +say that you're in love with Miss Lily Dale?" + +"I don't know much about being in love with her," said Johnny, +turning very red as he spoke. And then he made up his mind, in a wild +sort of way, to tell all the truth to his friend. Pawkins's port wine +may, perhaps, have had something to do with the resolution. "But I'd +go through fire and water for her, my lord. I knew her years before +he had ever seen her, and have loved her a great deal better than he +will ever love any one. When I heard that she had accepted him, I had +half a mind to cut my own throat,--or else his." + +"Highty tighty," said the earl. + +"It's very ridiculous, I know," said Johnny, "and of course she would +never have accepted me." + +"I don't see that at all." + +"I haven't a shilling in the world." + +"Girls don't care much for that." + +"And then a clerk in the Income-tax Office! It's such a poor thing." + +"The other fellow was only a clerk in another office." + +The earl living down at Guestwick did not understand that the +Income-tax Office in the city, and the General Committee Office at +Whitehall, were as far apart as Dives and Lazarus, and separated by +as impassable a gulf. + +"Oh, yes," said Johnny; "but his office is another kind of thing, and +then he was a swell himself." + +"By George, I don't see it," said the earl. + +"I don't wonder a bit at her accepting a fellow like that. I hated +him the first moment I saw him; but that's no reason she should hate +him. He had that sort of manner, you know. He was a swell, and girls +like that kind of thing. I never felt angry with her, but I could +have eaten him." As he spoke he looked as though he would have made +some such attempt had Crosbie been present. + +"Did you ever ask her to have you?" said the earl. + +"No; how could I ask her, when I hadn't bread to give her?" + +"And you never told her--that you were in love with her, I mean, and +all that kind of thing." + +"She knows it now," said Johnny; "I went to say good-by to her the +other day,--when I thought she was going to be married. I could not +help telling her then." + +"But it seems to me, my dear fellow, that you ought to be very much +obliged to Crosbie;--that is to say, if you've a mind to--" + +"I know what you mean, my lord. I am not a bit obliged to him. It's +my belief that all this will about kill her. As to myself, if I +thought she'd ever have me--" + +Then he was again silent, and the earl could see that the tears were +in his eyes. + +"I think I begin to understand it," said the earl, "and I'll give you +a bit of advice. You come down and spend your Christmas with me at +Guestwick." + +"Oh, my lord!" + +"Never mind my-lording me, but do as I tell you. Lady Julia sent you +a message, though I forgot all about it till now. She wants to thank +you herself for what you did in the field." + +"That's all nonsense, my lord." + +"Very well; you can tell her so. You may take my word for this, +too,--my sister hates Crosbie quite as much as you do. I think she'd +'pitch into him,' as you call it, herself, if she knew how. You come +down to Guestwick for the Christmas, and then go over to Allington +and tell them all plainly what you mean." + +"I couldn't say a word to her now." + +"Say it to the squire, then. Go to him, and tell him what you +mean,--holding your head up like a man. Don't talk to me about +swells. The man who means honestly is the best swell I know. He's +the only swell I recognize. Go to old Dale, and say you come from +me,--from Guestwick Manor. Tell him that if he'll put a little +stick under the pot to make it boil, I'll put a bigger one. He'll +understand what that means." + +"Oh, no, my lord." + +"But I say, oh, yes;" and the earl, who was now standing on the rug +before the fire, dug his hands deep down into his trousers' pockets. +"I'm very fond of that girl, and would do much for her. You ask Lady +Julia if I didn't say so to her before I ever knew of your casting +a sheep's-eye that way. And I've a sneaking kindness for you too, +Master Johnny. Lord bless you, I knew your father as well as I ever +knew any man; and to tell the truth, I believe I helped to ruin him. +He held land of me, you know, and there can't be any doubt that +he did ruin himself. He knew no more about a beast when he'd done, +than--than--than that waiter. If he'd gone on to this day he wouldn't +have been any wiser." + +Johnny sat silent, with his eyes full of tears. What was he to say to +his friend? + +"You come down with me," continued the earl, "and you'll find we'll +make it all straight. I daresay you're right about not speaking to +the girl just at present. But tell everything to the uncle, and then +to the mother. And, above all things, never think that you're not +good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is +that in life people will take you very much at your own reckoning. If +you are made of dirt, like that fellow Crosbie, you'll be found out +at last, no doubt. But then I don't think you are made of dirt." + +"I hope not." + +"And so do I. You can come down, I suppose, with me the day after +to-morrow?" + +"I'm afraid not. I have had all my leave." + +"Shall I write to old Buffle, and ask it as a favour?" + +"No," said Johnny; "I shouldn't like that. But I'll see to-morrow, +and then I'll let you know. I can go down by the mail train on +Saturday, at any rate." + +"That won't be comfortable. See and come with me if you can. Now, +good-night, my dear fellow, and remember this,--when I say a thing +I mean it. I think I may boast that I never yet went back from my +word." + +The earl as he spoke gave his left hand to his guest, and looking +somewhat grandly up over the young man's head, he tapped his own +breast thrice with his right hand. As he went through the little +scene, John Eames felt that he was every inch an earl. + +"I don't know what to say to you, my lord." + +"Say nothing,--not a word more to me. But say to yourself that faint +heart never won fair lady. Good-night, my dear boy, good-night. I +dine out to-morrow, but you can call and let me know at about six." + +Eames then left the room without another word, and walked out into +the cold air of Jermyn Street. The moon was clear and bright, and +the pavement in the shining light seemed to be as clean as a lady's +hand. All the world was altered to him since he had entered Pawkins's +Hotel. Was it then possible that Lily Dale might even yet become his +wife? Could it be true that he, even now, was in a position to go +boldly to the Squire of Allington, and tell him what were his views +with reference to Lily? And how far would he be justified in taking +the earl at his word? Some incredible amount of wealth would be +required before he could marry Lily Dale. Two or three hundred pounds +a year at the very least! The earl could not mean him to understand +that any such sum as that would be made up with such an object! +Nevertheless he resolved as he walked home to Burton Crescent that he +would go down to Guestwick, and that he would obey the earl's behest. +As regarded Lily herself he felt that nothing could be said to her +for many a long day as yet. + +"Oh, John, how late you are!" said Amelia, slipping out from the back +parlour as he let himself in with his latch-key. + +"Yes, I am;--very late," said John, taking his candle, and passing +her by on the stairs without another word. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + +"THE TIME WILL COME." + + +"Did you hear that young Eames is staying at Guestwick Manor?" + +As these were the first words which the squire spoke to Mrs. Dale +as they walked together up to the Great House, after church, on +Christmas Day, it was clear enough that the tidings of Johnny's +visit, when told to him, had made some impression. + +"At Guestwick Manor!" said Mrs. Dale. "Dear me! Do you hear that, +Bell? There's promotion for Master Johnny!" + +"Don't you remember, mamma," said Bell, "that he helped his lordship +in his trouble with the bull?" + +Lily, who remembered accurately all the passages of her last +interview with John Eames, said nothing, but felt, in some sort, sore +at the idea that he should be so near her at such a time. In some +unconscious way she had liked him for coming to her and saying all +that he did say. She valued him more highly after that scene than +she did before. But now, she would feel herself injured and hurt if +he ever made his way into her presence under circumstances as they +existed. + +"I should not have thought that Lord De Guest was the man to show so +much gratitude for so slight a favour," said the squire. "However, +I'm going to dine there to-morrow." + +"To meet young Eames?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"Yes,--especially to meet young Eames. At least, I've been very +specially asked to come, and I've been told that he is to be there." + +"And is Bernard going?" + +"Indeed I'm not," said Bernard. "I shall come over and dine with +you." + +A half-formed idea flitted across Lily's mind, teaching her to +imagine for a moment that she might possibly be concerned in this +arrangement. But the thought vanished as quickly as it came, merely +leaving some soreness behind it. There are certain maladies which +make the whole body sore. The patient, let him be touched on any +point,--let him even be nearly touched,--will roar with agony as +though his whole body had been bruised. So it is also with maladies +of the mind. Sorrows such as that of poor Lily's leave the heart sore +at every point, and compel the sufferer to be ever in fear of new +wounds. Lily bore her cross bravely and well; but not the less did +it weigh heavily upon her at every turn because she had the strength +to walk as though she did not bear it. Nothing happened to her, +or in her presence, that did not in some way connect itself with +her misery. Her uncle was going over to meet John Eames at Lord De +Guest's. Of course the men there would talk about her, and all such +talking was an injury to her. + +The afternoon of that day did not pass away brightly. As long as the +servants were in the room the dinner went on much as other dinners. +At such times a certain amount of hypocrisy must always be practised +in closely domestic circles. At mixed dinner-parties people can talk +before Richard and William the same words that they would use if +Richard and William were not there. People so mixed do not talk +together their inward home thoughts. But when close friends are +together, a little conscious reticence is practised till the door +is tiled. At such a meeting as this that conscious reticence was of +service, and created an effect which was salutary. When the door +was tiled, and when the servants were gone, how could they be merry +together? By what mirth should the beards be made to wag on that +Christmas Day? + +"My father has been up in town," said Bernard. "He was with Lord De +Guest at Pawkins's." + +"Why didn't you go and see him?" asked Mrs. Dale. + +"Well, I don't know. He did not seem to wish it. I shall go down +to Torquay in February. I must be up in London, you know, in a +fortnight, for good." Then they were all silent again for a few +minutes. If Bernard could have owned the truth, he would have +acknowledged that he had not gone up to London, because he did not +yet know how to treat Crosbie when he should meet him. His thoughts +on this matter threw some sort of shadow across poor Lily's mind, +making her feel that her wound was again opened. + +"I want him to give up his profession altogether," said the squire, +speaking firmly and slowly. "It would be better, I think, for both of +us that he should do so." + +"Would it be wise at his time of life," said Mrs. Dale, "and when he +has been doing so well?" + +"I think it would be wise. If he were my son it would be thought +better that he should live here upon the property, among the people +who are to become his tenants, than remain up in London, or perhaps +be sent to India. He has one profession as the heir of this place, +and that, I think, should be enough." + +"I should have but an idle life of it down here," said Bernard. + +"That would be your own fault. But if you did as I would have you, +your life would not be idle." In this he was alluding to Bernard's +proposed marriage, but as to that nothing further could be said in +Bell's presence. Bell understood it all, and sat quite silent, with +demure countenance;--perhaps even with something of sternness in her +face. + +"But the fact is," said Mrs. Dale, speaking in a low tone, and having +well considered what she was about to say, "that Bernard is not +exactly the same as your son." + +"Why not?" said the squire. "I have even offered to settle the +property on him if he will leave the service." + +"You do not owe him so much as you would owe your son; and, +therefore, he does not owe you as much as he would owe his father." + +"If you mean that I cannot constrain him, I know that well enough. +As regards money, I have offered to do for him quite as much as any +father would feel called upon to do for an only son." + +"I hope you don't think me ungrateful," said Bernard. + +"No, I do not; but I think you unmindful. I have nothing more to say +about it, however;--not about that. If you should marry--" And then +he stopped himself, feeling that he could not go on in Bell's +presence. + +"If he should marry," said Mrs. Dale, "it may well be that his wife +would like a house of her own." + +"Wouldn't she have this house?" said the squire, angrily. "Isn't it +big enough? I only want one room for myself, and I'd give up that if +it were necessary." + +"That's nonsense," said Mrs. Dale. + +"It isn't nonsense," said the squire. + +"You'll be squire of Allington for the next twenty years," said Mrs. +Dale. "And as long as you are the squire, you'll be master of this +house; at least, I hope so. I don't approve of monarchs abdicating in +favour of young people." + +"I don't think uncle Christopher would look at all well like Charles +the Fifth," said Lily. + +"I would always keep a cell for you, my darling, if I did," said the +squire, regarding her with that painful, special tenderness. Lily, +who was sitting next to Mrs. Dale, put her hand out secretly and got +hold of her mother's, thereby indicating that she did not intend to +occupy the cell offered to her by her uncle; or to look to him as the +companion of her monastic seclusion. After that there was nothing +more then said as to Bernard's prospects. + +"Mrs. Hearn is dining at the vicarage, I suppose?" asked the squire. + +"Yes; she went in after church," said Bell. "I saw her go with Mrs. +Boyce." + +"She told me she never would dine with them again after dark in +winter," said Mrs. Dale. "The last time she was there, the boy let +the lamp blow out as she was going home, and she lost her way. The +truth was, she was angry because Mr. Boyce didn't go with her." + +"She's always angry," said the squire. "She hardly speaks to me now. +When she paid her rent the other day to Jolliffe, she said she hoped +it would do me much good; as though she thought me a brute for taking +it." + +"So she does," said Bernard. + +"She's very old, you know," said Bell. + +"I'd give her the house for nothing, if I were you, uncle," said +Lily. + +"No, my dear; if you were me you would not. I should be very wrong +to do so. Why should Mrs. Hearn have her house for nothing, any more +than her meat or her clothes? It would be much more reasonable were I +to give her so much money into her hand yearly; but it would be wrong +in me to do so, seeing that she is not an object of charity;--and it +would be wrong in her to take it." + +"And she wouldn't take it," said Mrs. Dale. + +"I don't think she would. But if she did, I'm sure she would grumble +because it wasn't double the amount. And if Mr. Boyce had gone home +with her, she would have grumbled because he walked too fast." + +"She is very old," said Bell, again. + +"But, nevertheless, she ought to know better than to speak +disparagingly of me to my servants. She should have more respect for +herself." And the squire showed by the tone of his voice that he +thought very much about it. + +It was very long and very dull that Christmas evening, making +Bernard feel strongly that he would be very foolish to give up his +profession, and tie himself down to a life at Allington. Women +are more accustomed than men to long, dull, unemployed hours; and, +therefore, Mrs. Dale and her daughters bore the tedium courageously. +While he yawned, stretched himself, and went in and out of the room, +they sat demurely, listening as the squire laid down the law on +small matters, and contradicting him occasionally when the spirit +of either of them prompted her specially to do so. "Of course you +know much better than I do," he would say. "Not at all," Mrs. Dale +would answer. "I don't pretend to know anything about it. But--" So +the evening wore itself away; and when the squire was left alone at +half-past nine, he did not feel that the day had passed badly with +him. That was his style of life, and he expected no more from it than +he got. He did not look to find things very pleasant, and, if not +happy, he was, at any rate, contented. + +"Only think of Johnny Eames being at Guestwick Manor!" said Bell, as +they were going home. + +"I don't see why he shouldn't be there," said Lily. "I would rather +it should be he than I, because Lady Julia is so grumpy." + +"But asking your uncle Christopher especially to meet him!" said Mrs. +Dale. "There must be some reason for it." Then Lily felt the soreness +come upon her again, and spoke no further upon the subject. + +We all know that there was a special reason, and that Lily's soreness +was not false in its mysterious forebodings. Eames, on the evening +after his dinner at Pawkins's, had seen the earl, and explained to +him that he could not leave town till the Saturday evening; but that +he could remain over the Tuesday. He must be at his office by twelve +on Wednesday, and could manage to do that by an early train from +Guestwick. + +"Very well, Johnny," said the earl, talking to his young friend with +the bedroom candle in his hand, as he was going up to dress. "Then +I'll tell you what; I've been thinking of it. I'll ask Dale to come +over to dinner on Tuesday; and if he'll come, I'll explain the whole +matter to him myself. He's a man of business, and he'll understand. +If he won't come, why then you must go over to Allington, and find +him, if you can, on the Tuesday morning; or I'll go to him myself, +which will be better. You mustn't keep me now, as I am ever so much +too late." + +Eames did not attempt to keep him, but went away feeling that the +whole matter was being arranged for him in a very wonderful way. And +when he got to Allington he found that the squire had accepted the +earl's invitation. Then he declared to himself that there was no +longer any possibility of retractation for him. Of course he did not +wish to retract. The one great longing of his life was to call Lily +Dale his own. But he felt afraid of the squire,--that the squire +would despise him and snub him, and that the earl would perceive that +he had made a mistake when he saw how his client was scorned and +snubbed. It was arranged that the earl was to take the squire into +his own room for a few minutes before dinner, and Johnny felt that he +would be hardly able to stand his ground in the drawing-room when the +two old men should make their appearance together. + +He got on very well with Lady Julia, who gave herself no airs, and +made herself very civil. Her brother had told her the whole story, +and she felt as anxious as he did to provide Lily with another +husband in place of that horrible man Crosbie. "She has been very +fortunate in her escape," she said to her brother; "very fortunate." +The earl agreed with this, saying that in his opinion his own +favourite Johnny would make much the nicer lover of the two. But Lady +Julia had her doubts as to Lily's acquiescence. "But, Theodore, he +must not speak to Miss Lilian Dale herself about it yet a while." + +"No," said the earl; "not for a month or so." + +"He will have a better chance if he can remain silent for six +months," said Lady Julia. + +"Bless my soul! somebody else will have picked her up before that," +said the earl. + +In answer to this Lady Julia merely shook her head. + +Johnny went over to his mother on Christmas Day after church, and was +received by her and by his sister with great honour. And she gave +him many injunctions as to his behaviour at the earl's table, even +descending to small details about his boots and linen. But Johnny had +already begun to feel at the Manor that, after all, people are not so +very different in their ways of life as they are supposed to be. Lady +Julia's manners were certainly not quite those of Mrs. Roper; but +she made the tea very much in the way in which it was made at Burton +Crescent, and Eames found that he could eat his egg, at any rate on +the second morning, without any tremor in his hand, in spite of the +coronet on the silver egg-cup. He did feel himself to be rather out +of his place in the Manor pew on the Sunday, conceiving that all the +congregation was looking at him; but he got over this on Christmas +Day, and sat quite comfortably in his soft corner during the sermon, +almost going to sleep. And when he walked with the earl after church +to the gate over which the noble peer had climbed in his agony, and +inspected the hedge through which he had thrown himself, he was quite +at home with his little jokes, bantering his august companion as to +the mode of his somersault. But be it always remembered that there +are two modes in which a young man may be free and easy with his +elder and superior,--the mode pleasant and the mode offensive. Had it +been in Johnny's nature to try the latter, the earl's back would soon +have been up at once, and the play would have been over. But it was +not in Johnny's nature to do so, and therefore it was that the earl +liked him. + +At last came the hour of dinner on Tuesday, or at least the hour at +which the squire had been asked to show himself at the Manor House. +Eames, as by agreement with his patron, did not come down so as to +show himself till after the interview. Lady Julia, who had been +present at their discussions, had agreed to receive the squire; and +then a servant was to ask him to step into the earl's own room. It +was pretty to see the way in which the three conspired together, +planning and plotting with an eagerness that was beautifully green +and fresh. + +"He can be as cross as an old stick when he likes it," said the earl, +speaking of the squire; "and we must take care not to rub him the +wrong way." + +"I shan't know what to say to him when I come down," said Johnny. + +"Just shake hands with him and don't say anything," said Lady Julia. + +"I'll give him some port wine that ought to soften his heart," said +the earl, "and then we'll see how he is in the evening." + +Eames heard the wheels of the squire's little open carriage and +trembled. The squire, unconscious of all schemes, soon found himself +with Lady Julia, and within two minutes of his entrance was walked +off to the earl's private room. "Certainly," he said, "certainly;" +and followed the man-servant. The earl, as he entered, was standing +in the middle of the room, and his round rosy face was a picture of +good-humour. + +"I'm very glad you've come, Dale," said he. "I've something I want to +say to you." + +Mr. Dale, who neither in heart nor in manner was so light a man as +the earl, took the proffered hand of his host, and bowed his head +slightly, signifying that he was willing to listen to anything. + +"I think I told you," continued the earl, "that young John Eames is +down here; but he goes back to-morrow, as they can't spare him at his +office. He's a very good fellow,--as far as I am able to judge, an +uncommonly good young man. I've taken a great fancy to him myself." + +In answer to this Mr. Dale did not say much. He sat down, and in some +general terms expressed his good-will towards all the Eames family. + +"As you know, Dale, I'm a very bad hand at talking, and therefore +I won't beat about the bush in what I've got to say at present. Of +course we've all heard of that scoundrel Crosbie, and the way he has +treated your niece Lilian." + +"He is a scoundrel,--an unmixed scoundrel. But the less we say about +that the better. It is ill mentioning a girl's name in such a matter +as that." + +"But, my dear Dale, I must mention it at the present moment. Dear +young child, I would do anything to comfort her! And I hope that +something may be done to comfort her. Do you know that that young man +was in love with her long before Crosbie ever saw her?" + +"What;--John Eames!" + +"Yes, John Eames. And I wish heartily for his sake that he had won +her regard before she had met that rascal whom you had to stay down +at your house." + +"A man cannot help these things, De Guest," said the squire. + +"No, no, no! There are such men about the world, and it is impossible +to know them at a glance. He was my nephew's friend, and I am not +going to say that my nephew was in fault. But I wish,--I only say +that I wish,--she had first known what are this young man's feelings +towards her." + +"But she might not have thought of him as you do." + +"He is an uncommonly good-looking young fellow; straight made, broad +in the chest, with a good, honest eye, and a young man's proper +courage. He has never been taught to give himself airs like a dancing +monkey; but I think he's all the better for that." + +"But it's too late now, De Guest." + +"No, no; that's just where it is. It mustn't be too late! That child +is not to lose her whole life because a villain has played her false. +Of course she'll suffer. Just at present it wouldn't do, I suppose, +to talk to her about a new sweetheart. But, Dale, the time will come; +the time will come;--the time always does come." + +"It has never come to you and me," said the squire, with the +slightest possible smile on his dry cheeks. The story of their +lives had been so far the same; each had loved, and each had been +disappointed, and then each had remained single through life. + +"Yes, it has," said the earl, with no slight touch of feeling and +even of romance in what he said. "We have retricked our beams in our +own ways, and our lives have not been desolate. But for her,--you and +her mother will look forward to see her married some day." + +"I have not thought about it." + +"But I want you to think about it. I want to interest you in this +fellow's favour; and in doing so, I mean to be very open with you. +I suppose you'll give her something?" + +"I don't know, I'm sure," said the squire, almost offended at an +inquiry of such a nature. + +"Well, then, whether you do or not, I'll give him something," said +the earl. "I shouldn't have ventured to meddle in the matter had I +not intended to put myself in such a position with reference to him +as would justify me in asking the question." And the peer as he spoke +drew himself up to his full height. "If such a match can be made, it +shall not be a bad marriage for your niece in a pecuniary point of +view. I shall have pleasure in giving to him; but I shall have more +pleasure if she can share what I give." + +"She ought to be very much obliged to you," said the squire. + +"I think she would be if she knew young Eames. I hope the day may +come when she will be so. I hope that you and I may see them happy +together, and that you too may thank me for having assisted in making +them so. Shall we go in to Lady Julia now?" The earl had felt that he +had not quite succeeded; that his offer had been accepted somewhat +coldly, and had not much hope that further good could be done on that +day, even with the help of his best port wine. + +"Half a moment," said the squire. "There are matters as to which I +never find myself able to speak quickly, and this certainly seems to +be one of them. If you will allow me I will think over what you have +said, and then see you again." + +"Certainly, certainly." + +"But for your own part in the matter, for your great generosity and +kind heart, I beg to offer you my warmest thanks." Then the squire +bowed low, and preceded the earl out of the room. + +Lord De Guest still felt that he had not succeeded. We may probably +say, looking at the squire's character and peculiarities, that no +marked success was probable at the first opening-out of such a +subject. He had said of himself that he was never able to speak +quickly in matters of moment; but he would more correctly have +described his own character had he declared that he could not think +of them quickly. As it was, the earl was disappointed; but had he +been able to read the squire's mind, his disappointment would have +been less strong. Mr. Dale knew well enough that he was being treated +well, and that the effort being made was intended with kindness +to those belonging to him; but it was not in his nature to be +demonstrative and quick at expressions of gratitude. So he entered +the drawing-room with a cold, placid face, leading Eames, and Lady +Julia also, to suppose that no good had been done. + +"How do you do, sir?" said Johnny, walking up to him in a wild sort +of manner,--going through a premeditated lesson, but doing it without +any presence of mind. + +"How do you do, Eames?" said the squire, speaking with a very cold +voice. And then there was nothing further said till the dinner was +announced. + +"Dale, I know you drink port," said the earl when Lady Julia left +them. "If you say you don't like that, I shall say you know nothing +about it." + +"Ah! that's the '20," said the squire, tasting it. + +"I should rather think it is," said the earl. "I was lucky enough to +get it early, and it hasn't been moved for thirty years. I like to +give it to a man who knows it, as you do, at the first glance. Now +there's my friend Johnny there; it's thrown away upon him." + +"No, my lord, it is not. I think it's uncommonly nice." + +"Uncommonly nice! So is champagne, or ginger-beer, or lollipops,--for +those who like them. Do you mean to tell me you can taste wine with +half a pickled orange in your mouth?" + +"It'll come to him soon enough," said the squire. + +"Twenty port won't come to him when he is as old as we are," said the +earl, forgetting that by that time sixty port will be as wonderful to +the then living seniors of the age as was his own pet vintage to him. + +The good wine did in some sort soften the squire; but, as a matter +of course, nothing further was said as to the new matrimonial scheme. +The earl did observe, however, that Mr. Dale was civil, and even +kind, to his own young friend, asking a question here and there as +to his life in London, and saying something about the work at the +Income-tax Office. + +"It is hard work," said Eames. "If you're under the line, they make +a great row about it, send for you, and look at you as though you'd +been robbing the bank; but they think nothing of keeping you till +five." + +"But how long do you have for lunch and reading the papers?" said the +earl. + +"Not ten minutes. We take a paper among twenty of us for half the +day. That's exactly nine minutes to each; and as for lunch, we only +have a biscuit dipped in ink." + +"Dipped in ink!" said the squire. + +"It comes to that, for you have to be writing while you munch it." + +"I hear all about you," said the earl; "Sir Raffle Buffle is an old +crony of mine." + +"I don't suppose he ever heard my name as yet," said Johnny. "But do +you really know him well, Lord De Guest?" + +"Haven't seen him these thirty years; but I did know him." + +"We call him old Huffle Scuffle." + +"Huffle Scuffle! Ha, ha, ha! He always was Huffle Scuffle; a noisy, +pretentious, empty-headed fellow. But I oughtn't to say so before +you, young man. Come, we'll go into the drawing-room." + +"And what did he say?" asked Lady Julia, as soon as the squire was +gone. + +There was no attempt at concealment, and the question was asked in +Johnny's presence. + +"Well, he did not say much. And coming from him, that ought to be +taken as a good sign. He is to think of it, and let me see him again. +You hold your head up, Johnny, and remember that you shan't want a +friend on your side. Faint heart never won fair lady." + +At seven o'clock on the following morning Eames started on his return +journey, and was at his desk at twelve o'clock,--as per agreement +with his taskmaster at the Income-tax Office. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + +THE COMBAT. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +I have said that John Eames was at his office punctually at twelve; +but an incident had happened before his arrival there very important +in the annals which are now being told,--so important that it +is essentially necessary that it should be described with some +minuteness of detail. + +Lord De Guest, in the various conversations which he had had with +Eames as to Lily Dale and her present position, had always spoken +of Crosbie with the most vehement abhorrence. "He is a damned +blackguard," said the earl, and the fire had come out of his round +eyes as he spoke. Now the earl was by no means given to cursing and +swearing, in the sense which is ordinarily applied to these words. +When he made use of such a phrase as that quoted above, it was to be +presumed that he in some sort meant what he said; and so he did, and +had intended to signify that Crosbie by his conduct had merited all +such condemnation as was the fitting punishment for blackguardism of +the worst description. + +"He ought to have his neck broken," said Johnny. + +"I don't know about that," said the earl. "The present times have +become so pretty behaved that corporal punishment seems to have gone +out of fashion. I shouldn't care so much about that, if any other +punishment had taken its place. But it seems to me that a blackguard +such as Crosbie can escape now altogether unscathed." + +"He hasn't escaped yet," said Johnny. + +"Don't you go and put your finger in the pie and make a fool of +yourself," said the earl. If it had behoved any one to resent in any +violent fashion the evil done by Crosbie, Bernard Dale, the earl's +nephew, should have been the avenger. This the earl felt, but under +these circumstances he was disposed to think that there should be no +such violent vengeance. "Things were different when I was young," he +said to himself. But Eames gathered from the earl's tone that the +earl's words were not strictly in accordance with his thoughts, and +he declared to himself over and over again that Crosbie had not yet +escaped. + +He got into the train at Guestwick, taking a first-class ticket, +because the earl's groom in livery was in attendance upon him. Had +he been alone he would have gone in a cheaper carriage. Very weak in +him, was it not? little also, and mean? My friend, can you say that +you would not have done the same at his age? Are you quite sure that +you would not do the same now that you are double his age? Be that as +it may, Johnny Eames did that foolish thing, and gave the groom in +livery half-a-crown into the bargain. + +"We shall have you down again soon, Mr. John," said the groom, who +seemed to understand that Mr. Eames was to be made quite at home at +the manor. + +He went fast to sleep in the carriage, and did not awake till the +train was stopped at the Barchester Junction. + +"Waiting for the up-train from Barchester, sir," said the guard. +"They're always late." Then he went to sleep again, and was aroused +in a few minutes by some one entering the carriage in a great hurry. +The branch train had come in, just as the guardians of the line then +present had made up their minds that the passengers on the main line +should not be kept waiting any longer. The transfer of men, women, +and luggage was therefore made in great haste, and they who were +now taking their new seats had hardly time to look about them. An +old gentleman, very red about the gills, first came into Johnny's +carriage, which up to that moment he had shared with an old lady. +The old gentleman was abusing everybody, because he was hurried, and +would not take himself well into the compartment, but stuck in the +doorway, standing on the step. + +"Now, sir, when you're quite at leisure," said a voice behind the old +man, which instantly made Eames start up in his seat. + +"I'm not at all at leisure," said the old man; "and I'm not going to +break my legs if I know it." + +"Take your time, sir," said the guard. + +"So I mean," said the old man, seating himself in the corner nearest +to the open door, opposite to the old lady. Then Eames saw plainly +that it was Crosbie who had first spoken, and that he was getting +into the carriage. + +Crosbie at the first glance saw no one but the old gentleman and the +old lady, and he immediately made for the unoccupied corner seat. +He was busy with his umbrella and his dressing-bag, and a little +flustered by the pushing and hurrying. The carriage was actually +in motion before he perceived that John Eames was opposite to him: +Eames had, instinctively, drawn up his legs so as not to touch him. +He felt that he had become very red in the face, and to tell the +truth, the perspiration had broken out upon his brow. It was a +great occasion,--great in its imminent trouble, and great in its +opportunity for action. How was he to carry himself at the first +moment of his recognition by his enemy, and what was he to do +afterwards? + +It need hardly be explained that Crosbie had also been spending his +Christmas with a certain earl of his acquaintance, and that he too +was returning to his office. In one respect he had been much more +fortunate than poor Eames, for he had been made happy with the smiles +of his lady love. Alexandrina and the countess had fluttered about +him softly, treating him as a tame chattel, now belonging to the +noble house of De Courcy, and in this way he had been initiated into +the inner domesticities of that illustrious family. The two extra +men-servants, hired to wait upon Lady Dumbello, had vanished. The +champagne had ceased to flow in a perennial stream. Lady Rosina had +come out from her solitude, and had preached at him constantly. Lady +Margaretta had given him some lessons in economy. The Honourable +John, in spite of a late quarrel, had borrowed five pounds from him. +The Honourable George had engaged to come and stay with his sister +during the next May. The earl had used a father-in-law's privilege, +and had called him a fool. Lady Alexandrina had told him more than +once, in rather a tart voice, that this must be done, and that that +must be done; and the countess had given him her orders as though +it was his duty, in the course of nature, to obey every word that +fell from her. Such had been his Christmas delights; and now, as he +returned back from the enjoyment of them, he found himself confronted +in the railway carriage with Johnny Eames! + +The eyes of the two met, and Crosbie made a slight inclination of +his head. To this Eames gave no acknowledgment whatever, but looked +straight into the other's face. Crosbie immediately saw that they +were not to know each other, and was well contented that it should be +so. Among all his many troubles, the enmity of John Eames did not go +for much. He showed no appearance of being disconcerted, though our +friend had shown much. He opened his bag, and taking out a book was +soon deeply engaged in it, pursuing his studies as though the man +opposite was quite unknown to him. I will not say that his mind did +not run away from his book, for indeed there were many things of +which he found it impossible not to think; but it did not revert to +John Eames. Indeed, when the carriages reached Paddington, he had in +truth all but forgotten him; and as he stepped out of the carriage, +with his bag in his hand, was quite free from any remotest trouble on +his account. + +But it had not been so with Eames himself. Every moment of the +journey had for him been crowded with thought as to what he would do +now that chance had brought his enemy within his reach. He had been +made quite wretched by the intensity of his thinking; and yet, when +the carriages stopped, he had not made up his mind. His face had been +covered with perspiration ever since Crosbie had come across him, and +his limbs had hardly been under his own command. Here had come to him +a great opportunity, and he felt so little confidence in himself that +he almost knew that he would not use it properly. Twice and thrice +he had almost flown at Crosbie's throat in the carriage, but he was +restrained by an idea that the world and the police would be against +him if he did such a thing in the presence of that old lady. + +But when Crosbie turned his back upon him, and walked out, it was +absolutely necessary that he should do something. He was not going to +let the man escape, after all that he had said as to the expediency +of thrashing him. Any other disgrace would be preferable to that. +Fearing, therefore, lest his enemy should be too quick for him, +he hurried out after him, and only just gave Crosbie time to turn +round and face the carriages before he was upon him. "You confounded +scoundrel!" he screamed out. "You confounded scoundrel!" and seized +him by the throat, throwing himself upon him, and almost devouring +him by the fury of his eyes. + +The crowd upon the platform was not very dense, but there were quite +enough of people to make a very respectable audience for this little +play. Crosbie, in his dismay, retreated a step or two, and his +retreat was much accelerated by the weight of Eames's attack. He +endeavoured to free his throat from his foe's grasp; but in that he +failed entirely. For the minute, however, he did manage to escape any +positive blow, owing his safety in that respect rather to Eames's +awkwardness than to his own efforts. Something about the police he +was just able to utter, and there was, as a matter of course, an +immediate call for a supply of those functionaries. In about three +minutes three policemen, assisted by six porters, had captured our +poor friend Johnny; but this had not been done quick enough for +Crosbie's purposes. The bystanders, taken by surprise, had allowed +the combatants to fall back upon Mr. Smith's book-stall, and there +Eames laid his foe prostrate among the newspapers, falling himself +into the yellow shilling-novel depot by the over fury of his own +energy; but as he fell, he contrived to lodge one blow with his fist +in Crosbie's right eye,--one telling blow; and Crosbie had, to all +intents and purposes, been thrashed. + +"Con--founded scoundrel, rascal, blackguard!" shouted Johnny, with +what remnants of voice were left to him, as the police dragged him +off. "If you only knew--what he's--done." But in the meantime the +policemen held him fast. + +As a matter of course the first burst of public sympathy went with +Crosbie. He had been assaulted, and the assault had come from Eames. +In the British bosom there is so firm a love of well-constituted +order, that these facts alone were sufficient to bring twenty knights +to the assistance of the three policemen and the six porters; so that +for Eames, even had he desired it, there was no possible chance of +escape. But he did not desire it. One only sorrow consumed him at +present. He had, as he felt, attacked Crosbie, but had attacked +him in vain. He had had his opportunity, and had misused it. He +was perfectly unconscious of that happy blow, and was in absolute +ignorance of the great fact that his enemy's eye was already swollen +and closed, and that in another hour it would be as black as his hat. + +"He is a con--founded rascal!" ejaculated Eames, as the policemen and +porters hauled him about. "You don't know what he's done." + +"No, we don't," said the senior constable; "but we know what you have +done. I say, Bushers, where's that gentleman? He'd better come along +with us." + +Crosbie had been picked up from among the newspapers by another +policeman and two or three other porters, and was attended also by +the guard of the train, who knew him, and knew that he had come up +from Courcy Castle. Three or four hangers-on were standing also +around him, together with a benevolent medical man who was proposing +to him an immediate application of leeches. If he could have done +as he wished, he would have gone his way quietly, allowing Eames to +do the same. A great evil had befallen him, but he could in no way +mitigate that evil by taking the law of the man who had attacked him. +To have the thing as little talked about as possible should be his +endeavour. What though he should have Eames locked up and fined, and +scolded by a police magistrate? That would not in any degree lessen +his calamity. If he could have parried the attack, and got the better +of his foe; if he could have administered the black eye instead of +receiving it, then indeed he could have laughed the matter off at his +club, and his original crime would have been somewhat glozed over by +his success in arms. But such good fortune had not been his. He was +forced, however, on the moment to decide as to what he would do. + +"We've got him here in custody, sir," said Bushers, touching his hat. +It had become known from the guard that Crosbie was somewhat of a big +man, a frequent guest at Courcy Castle, and of repute and station in +the higher regions of the Metropolitan world. "The magistrates will +be sitting at Paddington, now, sir--or will be by the time we get +there." + +By this time some mighty railway authority had come upon the scene +and made himself cognizant of the facts of the row,--a stern official +who seemed to carry the weight of many engines on his brow; one at +the very sight of whom smokers would drop their cigars, and porters +close their fists against sixpences; a great man with an erect chin, +a quick step, and a well-brushed hat powerful with an elaborately +upturned brim. This was the platform-superintendent, dominant even +over the policemen. + +"Step into my room, Mr. Crosbie," he said. "Stubbs, bring that man +in with you." And then, before Crosbie had been able to make up +his mind as to any other line of conduct, he found himself in the +superintendent's room, accompanied by the guard, and by the two +policemen who conducted Johnny Eames between them. + +"What's all this?" said the superintendent, still keeping on his hat, +for he was aware how much of the excellence of his personal dignity +was owing to the arrangement of that article; and as he spoke he +frowned upon the culprit with his utmost severity. "Mr. Crosbie, I am +very sorry that you should have been exposed to such brutality on our +platform." + +"You don't know what he has done," said Johnny. "He is the most +confounded scoundrel living. He has broken--" But then he stopped +himself. He was going to tell the superintendent that the confounded +scoundrel had broken a beautiful young lady's heart; but he bethought +himself that he would not allude more specially to Lily Dale in that +hearing. + +"Do you know who he is, Mr. Crosbie?" said the superintendent. + +"Oh, yes," said Crosbie, whose eye was already becoming blue. "He is +a clerk in the Income-tax Office, and his name is Eames. I believe +you had better leave him to me." + +But the superintendent at once wrote down the words "Income-tax +Office--Eames," on his tablet. "We can't allow a row like that to +take place on our platform and not notice it. I shall bring it before +the directors. It's a most disgraceful affair, Mr. Eames--most +disgraceful." + +But Johnny by this time had perceived that Crosbie's eye was in a +state which proved satisfactorily that his morning's work had not +been thrown away, and his spirits were rising accordingly. He did not +care two straws for the superintendent or even for the policemen, if +only the story could be made to tell well for himself hereafter. It +was his object to have thrashed Crosbie, and now, as he looked at his +enemy's face, he acknowledged that Providence had been good to him. + +"That's your opinion," said Johnny. + +"Yes, sir, it is," said the superintendent; "and I shall know how to +represent the matter to your superiors, young man." + +"You don't know all about it," said Eames; "and I don't suppose you +ever will. I had made up my mind what I'd do the first time I saw +that scoundrel there; and now I've done it. He'd have got much worse +in the railway carriage, only there was a lady there." + +"Mr. Crosbie, I really think we had better take him before the +magistrates." + +To this, however, Crosbie objected. He assured the superintendent +that he would himself know how to deal with the matter--which, +however, was exactly what he did not know. Would the superintendent +allow one of the railway servants to get a cab for him, and to find +his luggage? He was very anxious to get home without being subjected +to any more of Mr. Eames's insolence. + +"You haven't done with Mr. Eames's insolence yet, I can tell you. All +London shall hear of it, and shall know why. If you have any shame in +you, you shall be ashamed to show your face." + +Unfortunate man! Who can say that punishment--adequate +punishment--had not overtaken him? For the present, he had to sneak +home with a black eye, with the knowledge inside him that he had been +whipped by a clerk in the Income-tax Office; and for the future--he +was bound over to marry Lady Alexandrina De Courcy! + +He got himself smuggled off in a cab, without being forced to go +again upon the platform--his luggage being brought to him by two +assiduous porters. But in all this there was very little balm for his +hurt pride. As he ordered the cabman to drive to Mount Street, he +felt that he had ruined himself by that step in life which he had +taken at Courcy Castle. Whichever way he looked he had no comfort. +"D---- the fellow!" he said, almost out loud in the cab; but though +he did with his outward voice allude to Eames, the curse in his inner +thoughts was uttered against himself. + +Johnny was allowed to make his way down to the platform, and there +find his own carpet-bag. One young porter, however, came up and +fraternized with him. + +"You guve it him tidy just at that last moment, sir. But, laws, sir, +you should have let out at him at fust. What's the use of clawing a +man's neck-collar?" + +It was then a quarter past eleven, but, nevertheless, Eames appeared +at his office precisely at twelve. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + +VAE VICTIS. + + +Crosbie had two engagements for that day; one being his natural +engagement to do his work at his office, and the other an engagement, +which was now very often becoming as natural, to dine at St. John's +Wood with Lady Amelia Gazebee. It was manifest to him when he +looked at himself in the glass that he could keep neither of these +engagements. "Oh, laws, Mr. Crosbie," the woman of the house +exclaimed when she saw him. + +"Yes, I know," said he. "I've had an accident and got a black eye. +What's a good thing for it?" + +"Oh! an accident!" said the woman, who knew well that that mark had +been made by another man's fist. "They do say that a bit of raw beef +is about the best thing. But then it must be held on constant all the +morning." + +Anything would be better than leeches, which tell long-enduring +tales, and therefore Crosbie sat through the greater part of the +morning holding the raw beef to his eye. But it was necessary that he +should write two notes as he held it, one to Mr. Butterwell at his +office, and the other to his future sister-in-law. He felt that it +would hardly be wise to attempt any entire concealment of the nature +of his catastrophe, as some of the circumstances would assuredly +become known. If he said that he had fallen over the coal-scuttle, +or on to the fender, thereby cutting his face, people would learn +that he had fibbed, and would learn also that he had had some reason +for fibbing. Therefore he constructed his notes with a phraseology +that bound him to no details. To Butterwell he said that he had had +an accident--or rather a row--and that he had come out of it with +considerable damage to his frontispiece. He intended to be at the +office on the next day, whether able to appear decently there or not. +But for the sake of decency he thought it well to give himself that +one half-day's chance. Then to the Lady Amelia he also said that he +had had an accident, and had been a little hurt. "It is nothing at +all serious, and affects only my appearance, so that I had better +remain in for a day. I shall certainly be with you on Sunday. Don't +let Gazebee trouble himself to come to me, as I shan't be at home +after to-day." Gazebee did trouble himself to come to Mount Street so +often, and South Audley Street, in which was Mr. Gazebee's office, +was so disagreeably near to Mount Street, that Crosbie inserted this +in order to protect himself if possible. Then he gave special orders +that he was to be at home to no one, fearing that Gazebee would call +for him after the hours of business--to make him safe and carry him +off bodily to St. John's Wood. + +The beefsteak and the dose of physic and the cold-water application +which was kept upon it all night was not efficacious in dispelling +that horrid, black-blue colour by ten o'clock on the following +morning. + +"It certainly have gone down, Mr. Crosbie; it certainly have," said +the mistress of the lodgings, touching the part affected with her +finger. "But the black won't go out of them all in a minute; it won't +indeed. Couldn't you just stay in one more day?" + +"But will one day do it, Mrs. Phillips?" + +Mrs. Phillips couldn't take upon herself to say that it would. "They +mostly come with little red streaks across the black before they goes +away," said Mrs. Phillips, who would seem to have been the wife of a +prize-fighter, so well was she acquainted with black eyes. + +"And that won't be till to-morrow," said Crosbie, affecting to be +mirthful in his agony. + +"Not till the third day;--and then they wears themselves out, +gradual. I never knew leeches do any good." + +He stayed at home the second day, and then resolved that he would +go to his office, black eye and all. In that morning's newspaper he +saw an account of the whole transaction, saying how Mr. C---- of +the office of General Committees, who was soon about to lead to the +hymeneal altar the beautiful daughter of the Earl De C----, had been +made the subject of a brutal personal attack on the platform of the +Great Western Railway Station, and how he was confined to his room +from the injuries which he had received. The paragraph went on to +state that the delinquent had, as it was believed, dared to raise +his eyes to the same lady, and that his audacity had been treated +with scorn by every member of the noble family in question. "It was, +however, satisfactory to know," so said the newspaper, "that Mr. +C---- had amply avenged himself, and had so flogged the young man +in question, that he had been unable to stir from his bed since the +occurrence." + +On reading this Crosbie felt that it would be better that he should +show himself at once, and tell as much of the truth as the world +would be likely to ascertain at last without his telling. So on that +third morning he put on his hat and gloves, and had himself taken +to his office, though the red-streaky period of his misfortune had +hardly even yet come upon him. The task of walking along the office +passage, through the messengers' lobby, and into his room, was very +disagreeable. Of course everybody looked at him, and of course +he failed in his attempt to appear as though he did not mind it. +"Boggs," he said to one of the men as he passed by, "just see if Mr. +Butterwell is in his room," and then, as he expected, Mr. Butterwell +came to him after the expiration of a few minutes. + +"Upon my word, that is serious," said Mr. Butterwell, looking into +the secretary's damaged face. "I don't think I would have come out if +I had been you." + +"Of course it's disagreeable," said Crosbie; "but it's better to put +up with it. Fellows do tell such horrid lies if a man isn't seen for +a day or two. I believe it's best to put a good face upon it." + +"That's more than you can do just at present, eh, Crosbie?" And then +Mr. Butterwell tittered. "But how on earth did it happen? The paper +says that you pretty well killed the fellow who did it." + +"The paper lies, as papers always do. I didn't touch him at all." + +"Didn't you, though? I should like to have had a poke at him after +getting such a tap in the face as that." + +"The policemen came, and all that sort of thing. One isn't allowed +to fight it out in a row of that kind as one would have to do on +Salisbury heath. Not that I mean to say that I could lick the fellow. +How's a man to know whether he can or not?" + +"How, indeed, unless he gets a licking,--or gives it? But who was he, +and what's this about his having been scorned by the noble family?" + +"Trash and lies, of course. He had never seen any of the De Courcy +people." + +"I suppose the truth is, it was about that other--eh, Crosbie? I knew +you'd find yourself in some trouble before you'd done." + +"I don't know what it was about, or why he should have made such a +brute of himself. You have heard about those people at Allington?" + +"Oh, yes; I have heard about them." + +"God knows, I didn't mean to say anything against them. They knew +nothing about it." + +"But the young fellow knew them? Ah, yes, I see all about it. He +wants to step into your shoes. I can't say that he sets about it in a +bad way. But what do you mean to do?" + +"Nothing." + +"Nothing! Won't that look queer? I think I should have him before the +magistrates." + +"You see, Butterwell, I am bound to spare that girl's name. I know I +have behaved badly." + +"Well, yes; I fear you have." + +Mr. Butterwell said this with some considerable amount of decision in +his voice, as though he did not intend to mince matters, or in any +way to hide his opinion. Crosbie had got into a way of condemning +himself in this matter of his marriage, but was very anxious that +others, on hearing such condemnation from him, should say something +in the way of palliating his fault. It would be so easy for a friend +to remark that such little peccadilloes were not altogether uncommon, +and that it would sometimes happen in life that people did not know +their own minds. He had hoped for some such benevolence from Fowler +Pratt, but had hoped in vain. Butterwell was a good-natured, easy +man, anxious to stand well with all about him, never pretending to +any very high tone of feeling or of morals; and yet Butterwell would +say no word of comfort to him. He could get no one to slur over his +sin for him, as though it were no sin,--only an unfortunate mistake; +no one but the De Courcys, who had, as it were, taken possession of +him and swallowed him alive. + +"It can't be helped now," said Crosbie. "But as for that fellow who +made such a brutal attack on me the other morning, he knows that he +is safe behind her petticoats. I can do nothing which would not make +some mention of her name necessary." + +"Ah, yes; I see," said Butterwell. "It's very unfortunate; very. I +don't know that I can do anything for you. Will you come before the +Board to-day?" + +"Yes; of course I shall," said Crosbie, who was becoming very sore. +His sharp ear had told him that all Butterwell's respect and +cordiality were gone,--at any rate for the time. Butterwell, though +holding the higher official rank, had always been accustomed to treat +him as though he, the inferior, were to be courted. He had possessed, +and had known himself to possess, in his office as well as in the +outside world, a sort of rank much higher than that which from his +position he could claim legitimately. Now he was being deposed. There +could be no better touchstone in such a matter than Butterwell. He +would go as the world went, but he would perceive almost intuitively +how the world intended to go. "Tact, tact, tact," as he was in the +habit of saying to himself when walking along the paths of his Putney +villa. Crosbie was now secretary, whereas a few months before he had +been simply a clerk; but, nevertheless, Mr. Butterwell's instinct +told him that Crosbie had fallen. Therefore he declined to offer any +sympathy to the man in his misfortune, and felt aware, as he left +the secretary's room, that it might probably be some time before he +visited it again. + +Crosbie resolved in his soreness that henceforth he would brazen it +out. He would go to the Board, with as much indifference as to his +black eye as he was able to assume, and if any one said aught to him +he would be ready with his answer. He would go to his club, and let +him who intended to show him any slight beware of him in his wrath. +He could not turn upon John Eames, but he could turn upon others if +it were necessary. He had not gained for himself a position before +the world, and held it now for some years, to allow himself to be +crushed at once because he had made a mistake. If the world, his +world, chose to go to war with him, he would be ready for the fight. +As for Butterwell,--Butterwell the incompetent, Butterwell the +vapid,--for Butterwell, who in every little official difficulty had +for years past come to him, he would let Butterwell know what it was +to be thus disloyal to one who had condescended to be his friend. He +would show them all at the Board that he scorned them, and could be +their master. Then, too, as he was making some other resolves as to +his future conduct, he made one or two resolutions respecting the De +Courcy people. He would make it known to them that he was not going +to be their very humble servant. He would speak out his mind with +considerable plainness; and if upon that they should choose to break +off this "alliance," they might do so; he would not break his heart. +And as he leaned back in his arm-chair, thinking of all this, an idea +made its way into his brain,--a floating castle in the air, rather +than the image of a thing that might by possibility be realized; and +in this castle in the air he saw himself kneeling again at Lily's +feet, asking her pardon, and begging that he might once more be taken +to her heart. + +"Mr. Crosbie is here to-day," said Mr. Butterwell to Mr. Optimist. + +"Oh, indeed," said Mr. Optimist, very gravely; for he had heard all +about the row at the railway station. + +"They've made a monstrous show of him." + +"I am very sorry to hear it. It's so--so--so-- If it were one +of the younger clerks, you know, we should tell him that it was +discreditable to the department." + +"If a man gets a blow in the eye, he can't help it, you know. He +didn't do it himself, I suppose," said Major Fiasco. + +"I am well aware that he didn't do it himself," continued Mr. +Optimist; "but I really think that, in his position, he should have +kept himself out of any such encounter." + +"He would have done so if he could, with all his heart," said the +major. "I don't suppose he liked being thrashed any better than I +should." + +"Nobody gives me a black eye," said Mr. Optimist. + +"Nobody has as yet," said the major. + +"I hope they never will," said Mr. Butterwell. Then, the hour +for their meeting having come round, Mr. Crosbie came into the +Board-room. + +"We have been very sorry to hear of this misfortune," said Mr. +Optimist, very gravely. + +"Not half so sorry as I have been," said Crosbie, with a laugh. "It's +an uncommon nuisance to have a black eye, and to go about looking +like a prize-fighter." + +"And like a prize-fighter that didn't win his battle, too," said +Fiasco. + +"I don't know that there's much difference as to that," said Crosbie. +"But the whole thing is a nuisance, and, if you please, we won't say +anything more about it." + +Mr. Optimist almost entertained an opinion that it was his duty to +say something more about it. Was not he the chief Commissioner, and +was not Mr. Crosbie secretary to the Board? Ought he, looking at +their respective positions, to pass over without a word of notice +such a manifest impropriety as this? Would not Sir Raffle Buffle have +said something had Mr. Butterwell, when secretary, come to the office +with a black eye? He wished to exercise all the full rights of a +chairman; but, nevertheless, as he looked at the secretary he felt +embarrassed, and was unable to find the proper words. "H--m, ha, +well; we'll go to business now, if you please," he said, as though +reserving to himself the right of returning to the secretary's black +eye when the more usual business of the Board should be completed. +But when the more usual business of the Board had been completed, the +secretary left the room without any further reference to his eye. + +Crosbie, when he got back to his own apartment, found Mortimer +Gazebee waiting there for him. + +"My dear fellow," said Gazebee, "this is a very nasty affair." + +"Uncommonly nasty," said Crosbie; "so nasty that I don't mean to talk +about it to anybody." + +"Lady Amelia is quite unhappy." He always called her Lady Amelia, +even when speaking of her to his own brothers and sisters. He was too +well behaved to take the liberty of calling an earl's daughter by her +plain Christian name, even though that earl's daughter was his own +wife. "She fears that you have been a good deal hurt." + +"Not at all hurt; but disfigured, as you see." + +"And so you beat the fellow well that did it?" + +"No, I didn't," said Crosbie, very angrily. "I didn't beat him at +all. You don't believe everything you read in the newspapers, do +you?" + +"No, I don't believe everything. Of course I didn't believe about +his having aspired to an alliance with Lady Alexandrina. That was +untrue, of course." Mr. Gazebee showed by the tone of his voice that +imprudence so unparalleled as that was quite incredible. + +"You shouldn't believe anything; except this,--that I have got a +black eye." + +"You certainly have got that. Lady Amelia thinks you would be more +comfortable if you would come up to us this evening. You can't go +out, of course; but Lady Amelia said, very good-naturedly, that you +need not mind with her." + +"Thank you, no; I'll come on Sunday." + +"Of course Lady Alexandrina will be very anxious to hear from her +sister; and Lady Amelia begged me very particularly to press you to +come." + +"Thank you, no; not to-day." + +"Why not?" + +"Oh, simply because I shall be better at home." + +"How can you be better at home? You can have anything that you want. +Lady Amelia won't mind, you know." + +Another beefsteak to his eye, as he sat in the drawing-room, +a cold-water bandage, or any little medical appliance of that +sort;--these were the things which Lady Amelia would, in her domestic +good nature, condescend not to mind! + +"I won't trouble her this evening," said Crosbie. + +"Well, upon my word, I think you're wrong. All manner of stories will +get down to Courcy Castle, and to the countess's ears; and you don't +know what harm may come of it. Lady Amelia thinks she had better +write and explain it; but she can't do so till she has heard +something about it from you." + +"Look here, Gazebee. I don't care one straw what story finds its way +down to Courcy Castle." + +"But if the earl were to hear anything, and be offended?" + +"He may recover from his offence as he best likes." + +"My dear fellow; that's talking wildly, you know." + +"What on earth do you suppose the earl can do to me? Do you think +I'm going to live in fear of Lord De Courcy all my life, because I'm +going to marry his daughter? I shall write to Alexandrina myself +to-day, and you can tell her sister so. I'll be up to dinner on +Sunday, unless my face makes it altogether out of the question." + +"And you won't come in time for church?" + +"Would you have me go to church with such a face as this?" + +Then Mr. Mortimer Gazebee went, and when he got home he told his wife +that Crosbie was taking things with a high hand. "The fact is, my +dear, that he's ashamed of himself, and therefore tries to put a bold +face upon it." + +"It was very foolish of him throwing himself in the way of that young +man,--very; and so I shall tell him on Sunday. If he chooses to give +himself airs to me, I shall make him understand that he is very +wrong. He should remember now that the way in which he conducts +himself is a matter of moment to all our family." + +"Of course he should," said Mr. Gazebee. + +When the Sunday came the red-streaky period had arrived, but had by +no means as yet passed away. The men at the office had almost become +used to it; but Crosbie, in spite of his determination to go down to +the club, had not yet shown himself elsewhere. Of course he did not +go to church, but at five he made his appearance at the house in St. +John's Wood. They always dined at five on Sundays, having some idea +that by doing so they kept the Sabbath better than they would have +done had they dined at seven. If keeping the Sabbath consists in +going to bed early, or is in any way assisted by such a practice, +they were right. To the cook that semi-early dinner might perhaps be +convenient, as it gave her an excuse for not going to church in the +afternoon, as the servants' and children's dinner gave her a similar +excuse in the morning. Such little attempts at goodness,--proceeding +half the way, or perhaps, as in this instance, one quarter of the +way, on the disagreeable path towards goodness,--are very common with +respectable people, such as Lady Amelia. If she would have dined at +one o'clock, and have eaten cold meat, one perhaps might have felt +that she was entitled to some praise. + +"Dear, dear, dear; this is very sad, isn't it, Adolphus?" she said on +first seeing him. + +"Well, it is sad, Amelia," he said. He always called her Amelia, +because she called him Adolphus; but Gazebee himself was never +quite pleased when he heard it. Lady Amelia was older than Crosbie, +and entitled to call him anything she liked; but he should have +remembered the great difference in their rank. "It is sad, Amelia," +he said. "But will you oblige me in one thing?" + +"What thing, Adolphus?" + +"Not to say a word more about it. The black eye is a bad thing, no +doubt, and has troubled me much; but the sympathy of my friends has +troubled me a great deal more. I had all the family commiseration +from Gazebee on Friday, and if it is repeated again, I shall lie down +and die." + +"Shall 'oo die, uncle Dolphus, 'cause 'oo've got a bad eye?" asked De +Courcy Gazebee, the eldest hope of the family, looking up into his +face. + +"No, my hero," said Crosbie, taking the boy up into his arms, "not +because I've got a black eye. There isn't very much harm in that, and +you'll have a great many before you leave school. But because the +people will go on talking about it." + +"But aunt Dina on't like 'oo, if oo've got an ugly bad eye." + +"But, Adolphus," said Lady Amelia, settling herself for an argument, +"that's all very well, you know--and I'm sure I'm very sorry to cause +you any annoyance,--but really one doesn't know how to pass over such +a thing without speaking of it. I have had a letter from mamma." + +"I hope Lady De Courcy is quite well." + +"Quite well, thank you. But as a matter of course she is very anxious +about this affair. She had read what has been said in the newspapers, +and it may be necessary that Mortimer should take it up, as the +family solicitor." + +"Quite out of the question," said Adolphus. + +"I don't think I should advise any such step as that," said Gazebee. + +"Perhaps not; very likely not. But you cannot be surprised, Mortimer, +that my mother under such circumstances should wish to know what are +the facts of the case." + +"Not at all surprised," said Gazebee. + +"Then once for all, I'll tell you the facts. As I got out of the +train a man I'd seen once before in my life made an attack upon me, +and before the police came up, I got a blow in the face. Now you know +all about it." + +At that moment dinner was announced. "Will you give Lady Amelia your +arm?" said the husband. + +"It's a very sad occurrence," said Lady Amelia with a slight toss of +her head, "and, I'm afraid, will cost my sister a great deal of +vexation." + +"You agree with De Courcy, do you, that aunt Dina won't like me with +an ugly black eye?" + +"I really don't think it's a joking matter," said the Lady Amelia. +And then there was nothing more said about it during the dinner. + +There was nothing more said about it during the dinner, but it was +plain enough from Lady Amelia's countenance that she was not very +well pleased with her future brother-in-law's conduct. She was very +hospitable to him, pressing him to eat; but even in doing that she +made repeated little references to his present unfortunate state. She +told him that she did not think fried plum-pudding would be bad for +him, but that she would recommend him not to drink port-wine after +dinner. "By-the-by, Mortimer, you'd better have some claret up," she +remarked. "Adolphus shouldn't take anything that is heating." + +"Thank you," said Crosbie. "I'll have some brandy-and-water, if +Gazebee will give it me." + +"Brandy-and-water!" said Lady Amelia. Crosbie in truth was not given +to the drinking of brandy-and-water; but he was prepared to call for +raw gin, if he were driven much further by Lady Amelia's solicitude. + +At these Sunday dinners the mistress of the house never went away +into the drawing-room, and the tea was always brought into them at +the table on which they had dined. It was another little step towards +keeping holy the first day of the week. When Lady Rosina was there, +she was indulged with the sight of six or seven solid good books +which were laid upon the mahogany as soon as the bottles were taken +off it. At her first prolonged visit she had obtained for herself +the privilege of reading a sermon; but as on such occasions both +Lady Amelia and Mr. Gazebee would go to sleep,--and as the footman +had also once shown a tendency that way,--the sermon had been +abandoned. But the master of the house, on these evenings, when his +sister-in-law was present, was doomed to sit in idleness, or else to +find solace in one of the solid good books. But Lady Rosina just now +was in the country, and therefore the table was left unfurnished. + +"And what am I to say to my mother?" said Lady Amelia, when they were +alone. + +"Give her my kindest regards," said Crosbie. It was quite clear, both +to the husband and to the wife, that he was preparing himself for +rebellion against authority. + +For some ten minutes there was nothing said. Crosbie amused himself +by playing with the boy whom he called Dicksey, by way of a nickname +for De Courcy. + +"Mamma, he calls me Dicksey. Am I Dicksey? I'll call 'oo old Cross, +and then aunt Dina 'on't like 'oo." + +"I wish you would not call the child nicknames, Adolphus. It seems as +though you would wish to cast a slur upon the one which he bears." + +"I should hardly think that he would feel disposed to do that," said +Mr. Gazebee. + +"Hardly, indeed," said Crosbie. + +"It has never yet been disgraced in the annals of our country by +being made into a nickname," said the proud daughter of the house. +She was probably unaware that among many of his associates her father +had been called Lord De Curse'ye, from the occasional energy of +his language. "And any such attempt is painful in my ears. I think +something of my family, I can assure you, Adolphus, and so does my +husband." + +"A very great deal," said Mr. Gazebee. + +"So do I of mine," said Crosbie. "That's natural to all of us. One of +my ancestors came over with William the Conqueror. I think he was one +of the assistant cooks in the king's tent." + +"A cook!" said young De Courcy. + +"Yes, my boy, a cook. That was the way most of our old families were +made noble. They were cooks, or butlers to the kings--or sometimes +something worse." + +"But your family isn't noble?" + +"No--I'll tell you how that was. The king wanted this cook to poison +half-a-dozen of his officers who wished to have a way of their +own; but the cook said, 'No, my Lord King; I am a cook, not an +executioner.' So they sent him into the scullery, and when they +called all the other servants barons and lords, they only called him +Cookey. They've changed the name to Crosbie since that, by degrees." + +Mr. Gazebee was awestruck, and the face of the Lady Amelia became +very dark. Was it not evident that this snake, when taken into their +innermost bosoms that they might there warm him, was becoming an +adder, and preparing to sting them? There was very little more +conversation that evening, and soon after the story of the cook, +Crosbie got up and went away to his own home. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + +"SEE, THE CONQUERING HERO COMES." + + +John Eames had reached his office precisely at twelve o'clock, +but when he did so he hardly knew whether he was standing on his +heels or his head. The whole morning had been to him one of intense +excitement, and latterly, to a certain extent, one of triumph. But +he did not at all know what might be the results. Would he be taken +before a magistrate and locked up? Would there be a row at the +office? Would Crosbie call him out, and, if so, would it be incumbent +on him to fight a duel with pistols? What would Lord De Guest +say--Lord De Guest, who had specially warned him not to take upon +himself the duty of avenging Lily's wrongs? What would all the Dale +family say of his conduct? And, above all, what would Lily say and +think? Nevertheless, the feeling of triumph was predominant; and now, +at this interval of time, he was beginning to remember with pleasure +the sensation of his fist as it went into Crosbie's eye. + +During his first day at the office he heard nothing about the affair, +nor did he say a word of it to any one. It was known in his room that +he had gone down to spend his Christmas holiday with Lord De Guest, +and he was treated with some increased consideration accordingly. +And, moreover, I must explain, in order that I may give Johnny Eames +his due, he was gradually acquiring for himself a good footing +among the Income-tax officials. He knew his work, and did it with +some manly confidence in his own powers, and also with some manly +indifference to the occasional frowns of the mighty men of the +department. He was, moreover, popular--being somewhat of a radical +in his official demeanour, and holding by his own rights, even +though mighty men should frown. In truth, he was emerging from his +hobbledehoyhood and entering upon his young manhood, having probably +to go through much folly and some false sentiment in that period of +his existence, but still with fair promise of true manliness beyond, +to those who were able to read the signs of his character. + +Many questions on that first day were asked him about the glories of +his Christmas, but he had very little to say on the subject. Indeed +nothing could have been much more commonplace than his Christmas +visit, had it not been for the one great object which had taken him +down to that part of the country, and for the circumstance with which +his holiday had been ended. On neither of these subjects was he +disposed to speak openly; but as he walked home to Burton Crescent +with Cradell, he did tell him of the affair with Crosbie. + +"And you went in at him on the station?" asked Cradell, with admiring +doubt. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "And you went in at him on the station?"] + + +"Yes, I did. If I didn't do it there, where was I to do it? I'd +said I would, and therefore when I saw him I did it." Then the +whole affair was told as to the black eye, the police, and the +superintendent. "And what's to come next?" asked our hero. + +"Well, he'll put it in the hands of a friend, of course; as I did +with Fisher in that affair with Lupex. And, upon my word, Johnny, I +shall have to do something of the kind again. His conduct last night +was outrageous; would you believe it--" + +"Oh, he's a fool." + +"He's a fool you wouldn't like to meet when he's in one of his mad +fits, I can tell you that. I absolutely had to sit up in my own +bedroom all last night. Mother Roper told me that if I remained in +the drawing-room she would feel herself obliged to have a policeman +in the house. What could I do, you know? I made her have a fire for +me, of course." + +"And then you went to bed." + +"I waited ever so long, because I thought that Maria would want to +see me. At last she sent me a note. Maria is so imprudent, you know. +If he had found anything in her writing, it would have been terrible, +you know,--quite terrible. And who can say whether Jemima mayn't +tell?" + +"And what did she say?" + +"Come; that's tellings, Master Johnny. I took very good care to take +it with me to the office this morning, for fear of accidents." + +But Eames was not so widely awake to the importance of his friend's +adventures as he might have been had he not been weighted with +adventures of his own. + +"I shouldn't care so much," said he, "about that fellow Crosbie going +to a friend, as I should about his going to a police magistrate." + +"He'll put it in a friend's hands, of course," said Cradell, with the +air of a man who from experience was well up in such matters. "And I +suppose you'll naturally come to me. It's a deuced bore to a man in a +public office, and all that kind of thing, of course. But I'm not the +man to desert my friend. I'll stand by you, Johnny, my boy." + +"Oh, thank you," said Eames, "I don't think that I shall want that." + +"You must be ready with a friend, you know." + +"I should write down to a man I know in the country, and ask his +advice," said Eames; "an older sort of friend, you know." + +"By Jove, old fellow, take care what you're about. Don't let them say +of you that you show the white feather. Upon my honour, I'd sooner +have anything said of me than that. I would, indeed,--anything." + +"I'm not afraid of that," said Eames, with a touch of scorn +in his voice. "There isn't much thought about white feathers +now-a-days,--not in the way of fighting duels." + +After that, Cradell managed to carry back the conversation to Mrs. +Lupex and his own peculiar position, and as Eames did not care to ask +from his companion further advice in his own matters, he listened +nearly in silence till they reached Burton Crescent. + +"I hope you found the noble earl well," said Mrs. Roper to him, as +soon as they were all seated at dinner. + +"I found the noble earl pretty well, thank you," said Johnny. + +It had become plainly understood by all the Roperites that Eames's +position was quite altered since he had been honoured with the +friendship of Lord De Guest. Mrs. Lupex, next to whom he always +sat at dinner, with a view to protecting her as it were from the +dangerous neighbourhood of Cradell, treated him with a marked +courtesy. Miss Spruce always called him "sir." Mrs. Roper helped him +the first of the gentlemen, and was mindful about his fat and gravy, +and Amelia felt less able than she was before to insist upon the +possession of his heart and affections. It must not be supposed that +Amelia intended to abandon the fight, and allow the enemy to walk off +with his forces; but she felt herself constrained to treat him with a +deference that was hardly compatible with the perfect equality which +should attend any union of hearts. + +"It is such a privilege to be on visiting terms with the nobility," +said Mrs. Lupex. "When I was a girl, I used to be very intimate--" + +"You ain't a girl any longer, and so you'd better not talk about it," +said Lupex. Mr. Lupex had been at that little shop in Drury Lane +after he came down from his scene-painting. + +"My dear, you needn't be a brute to me before all Mrs. Roper's +company. If, led away by feelings which I will not now describe, I +left my proper circles in marrying you, you need not before all the +world teach me how much I have to regret." And Mrs. Lupex, putting +down her knife and fork, applied her handkerchief to her eyes. + +"That's pleasant for a man over his meals, isn't it?" said Lupex, +appealing to Miss Spruce. "I have plenty of that kind of thing, and +you can't think how I like it." + +"Them whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder," said +Miss Spruce. "As for me myself, I'm only an old woman." + +This little ebullition threw a gloom over the dinner-table, and +nothing more was said on the occasion as to the glories of Eames's +career. But, in the course of the evening, Amelia heard of the +encounter which had taken place at the railway station, and at once +perceived that she might use the occasion for her own purposes. + +"John," she whispered to her victim, finding an opportunity for +coming upon him when almost alone, "what is this I hear? I insist +upon knowing. Are you going to fight a duel?" + +"Nonsense," said Johnny. + +"But it is not nonsense. You don't know what my feelings will be, if +I think that such a thing is going to happen. But then you are so +hard-hearted!" + +"I ain't hard-hearted a bit, and I'm not going to fight a duel." + +"But is it true that you beat Mr. Crosbie at the station?" + +"It is true. I did beat him." + +"Oh, John! not that I mean to say you were wrong, and indeed I honour +you for the feeling. There can be nothing so dreadful as a young +man's deceiving a young woman and leaving her after he has won her +heart--particularly when she has had his promise in plain words, +or, perhaps, even in black and white." John thought of that horrid, +foolish, wretched note which he had written. "And a poor girl, if she +can't right herself by a breach of promise, doesn't know what to do. +Does she, John?" + +"A girl who'd right herself that way wouldn't be worth having." + +"I don't know about that. When a poor girl is in such a position, she +has to be aided by her friends. I suppose, then, Miss Lily Dale won't +bring a breach of promise against him." + +This mention of Lily's name in such a place was sacrilege in the ears +of poor Eames. "I cannot tell," said he, "what may be the intention +of the lady of whom you speak. But from what I know of her friends, I +should not think that she will be disgraced by such a proceeding." + +"That may be all very well for Miss Lily Dale--" Amelia said, and +then she hesitated. It would not be well, she thought, absolutely to +threaten him as yet,--not as long as there was any possibility that +he might be won without a threat. "Of course I know all about it," +she continued. "She was your L. D., you know. Not that I was ever +jealous of her. To you she was no more than one of childhood's +friends. Was she, Johnny?" + +He stamped his foot upon the floor, and then jumped up from his seat. +"I hate all that sort of twaddle about childhood's friends, and you +know I do. You'll make me swear that I'll never come into this room +again." + +"Johnny!" + +"So I will. The whole thing makes me sick. And as for that Mrs. +Lupex--" + +"If this is what you learn, John, by going to a lord's house, I think +you had better stay at home with your own friends." + +"Of course I had;--much better stay at home with my own friends. +Here's Mrs. Lupex, and at any rate I can't stand her." So he went +off, and walked round the Crescent, and down to the New Road, and +almost into the Regent's Park, thinking of Lily Dale and of his own +cowardice with Amelia Roper. + +On the following morning he received a message, at about one o'clock, +by the mouth of the Board-room messenger, informing him that his +presence was required in the Board-room. "Sir Raffle Buffle has +desired your presence, Mr. Eames." + +"My presence, Tupper! what for?" said Johnny, turning upon the +messenger almost with dismay. + +"Indeed I can't say, Mr. Eames; but Sir Raffle Buffle has desired +your presence in the Board-room." + +Such a message as that in official life always strikes awe into the +heart of a young man. And yet, young men generally come forth from +such interviews without having received any serious damage, and +generally talk about the old gentlemen whom they have encountered +with a good deal of light-spirited sarcasm,--or chaff, as it is +called in the slang phraseology of the day. It is that same "majesty +which doth hedge a king" that does it. The turkey-cock in his own +farmyard is master of the occasion, and the thought of him creates +fear. A bishop in his lawn, a judge on the bench, a chairman in +the big room at the end of a long table, or a policeman with his +bull's-eye lamp upon his beat, can all make themselves terrible by +means of those appanages of majesty which have been vouchsafed to +them. But how mean is the policeman in his own home, and how few +thought much of Sir Raffle Buffle as he sat asleep after dinner in +his old slippers! How well can I remember the terror created within +me by the air of outraged dignity with which a certain fine old +gentleman, now long since gone, could rub his hands slowly, one on +the other, and look up to the ceiling, slightly shaking his head, as +though lost in the contemplation of my iniquities! I would become +sick in my stomach, and feel as though my ankles had been broken. +That upward turn of the eye unmanned me so completely that I was +speechless as regarded any defence. I think that that old man could +hardly have known the extent of his own power. + +Once upon a time a careless lad, having the charge of a bundle of +letters addressed to the King,--petitions and such like, which +in the course of business would not get beyond the hands of some +lord-in-waiting's deputy assistant,--sent the bag which contained +them to the wrong place; to Windsor, perhaps, if the Court were in +London; or to St. James's, if it were at Windsor. He was summoned; +and the great man of the occasion contented himself with holding his +hands up to the heavens as he stood up from his chair, and exclaiming +twice, "Mis-sent the Monarch's pouch! Mis-sent the Monarch's pouch!" +That young man never knew how he escaped from the Board-room; but for +a time he was deprived of all power of exertion, and could not resume +his work till he had had six months' leave of absence, and been +brought round upon rum and asses' milk. In that instance the peculiar +use of the word Monarch had a power which the official magnate had +never contemplated. The story is traditional; but I believe that the +circumstance happened as lately as in the days of George the Third. + +John Eames could laugh at the present chairman of the Income-tax +Office with great freedom, and call him old Huffle Scuffle, and the +like; but now that he was sent for, he also, in spite of his radical +propensities, felt a little weak about his ankle joints. He knew, +from the first hearing of the message, that he was wanted with +reference to that affair at the railway station. Perhaps there might +be a rule that any clerk should be dismissed who used his fists in +any public place. There were many rules entailing the punishment +of dismissal for many offences,--and he began to think that he did +remember something of such a regulation. However, he got up, looked +once around him upon his friends, and then followed Tupper into the +Board-room. + +"There's Johnny been sent for by old Scuffles," said one clerk. + +"That's about his row with Crosbie," said another. "The Board can't +do anything to him for that." + +"Can't it?" said the first. "Didn't young Outonites have to resign +because of that row at the Cider Cellars, though his cousin, Sir +Constant Outonites, did all that he could for him?" + +"But he was regularly up the spout with accommodation bills." + +"I tell you that I wouldn't be in Eames's shoes for a trifle. Crosbie +is secretary at the Committee Office, where Scuffles was chairman +before he came here; and of course they're as thick as thieves. I +shouldn't wonder if they didn't make him go down and apologize." + +"Johnny won't do that," said the other. + +In the meantime John Eames was standing in the august presence. Sir +Raffle Buffle was throned in his great oak arm-chair at the head of +a long table in a very large room; and by him, at the corner of the +table, was seated one of the assistant secretaries of the office. +Another member of the Board was also at work upon the long table; but +he was reading and signing papers at some distance from Sir Raffle, +and paid no heed whatever to the scene. The assistant secretary, +looking on, could see that Sir Raffle was annoyed by this want of +attention on the part of his colleague, but all this was lost upon +Eames. + +"Mr. Eames?" said Sir Raffle, speaking with a peculiarly harsh voice, +and looking at the culprit through a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, +which he perched for the occasion upon his big nose. "Isn't that Mr. +Eames?" + +"Yes," said the assistant secretary, "this is Eames." + +"Ah!"--and then there was a pause. "Come a little nearer, Mr. Eames, +will you?" and Johnny drew nearer, advancing noiselessly over the +Turkey carpet. + +"Let me see; in the second class, isn't he? Ah! Do you know, +Mr. Eames, that I have received a letter from the secretary to +the Directors of the Great Western Railway Company, detailing +circumstances which,--if truly stated in that letter,--redound very +much to your discredit?" + +"I did get into a row there yesterday, sir." + +"Got into a row! It seems to me that you have got into a very serious +row, and that I must tell the Directors of the Great Western Railway +Company that the law must be allowed to take its course." + +"I shan't mind that, sir, in the least," said Eames, brightening up a +little under this view of the case. + +"Not mind that, sir!" said Sir Raffle--or rather, he shouted out +the words at the offender before him. I am inclined to think that +he overdid it, missing the effect which a milder tone might have +attained. Perhaps there was lacking to him some of that majesty +of demeanour and dramatic propriety of voice which had been so +efficacious in the little story as to the King's bag of letters. +As it was, Johnny gave a slight jump, but after his jump he felt +better than he had been before. "Not mind, sir, being dragged before +the criminal tribunals of your country, and being punished as a +felon,--or rather as a misdemeanour,--for an outrage committed on a +public platform! Not mind it! What do you mean, sir?" + +"I mean, that I don't think the magistrate would say very much about +it, sir. And I don't think Mr. Crosbie would come forward." + +"But Mr. Crosbie must come forward, young man. Do you suppose that +an outrage against the peace of the Metropolis is to go unpunished +because he may not wish to pursue the matter? I'm afraid you must be +very ignorant, young man." + +"Perhaps I am," said Johnny. + +"Very ignorant indeed,--very ignorant indeed. And are you aware, sir, +that it would become a question with the Commissioners of this Board +whether you could be retained in the service of this department if +you were publicly punished by a police magistrate for such a +disgraceful outrage as that?" + +Johnny looked round at the other Commissioner, but that gentleman did +not raise his face from his papers. + +"Mr. Eames is a very good clerk," whispered the assistant secretary, +but in a voice which made his words audible to Eames; "one of the +best young men we have," he added, in a voice which was not audible. + +"Oh,--ah; very well. Now, I'll tell you what, Mr. Eames, I hope this +will be a lesson to you,--a very serious lesson." + +The assistant secretary, leaning back in his chair so as to be a +little behind the head of Sir Raffle, did manage to catch the eye of +the other Commissioner. The other Commissioner, barely looking round, +smiled a little, and then the assistant secretary smiled also. Eames +saw this, and he smiled too. + +"Whether any ulterior consequences may still await the breach of the +peace of which you have been guilty, I am not yet prepared to say," +continued Sir Raffle. "You may go now." + +And Johnny returned to his own place, with no increased reverence for +the dignity of the chairman. + +On the following morning one of his colleagues showed him with great +glee the passage in the newspaper which informed the world that he +had been so desperately beaten by Crosbie that he was obliged to keep +his bed at this present time in consequence of the flogging that +he had received. Then his anger was aroused, and he bounced about +the big room of the Income-tax Office, regardless of assistant +secretaries, head clerks, and all other official grandees whatsoever, +denouncing the iniquities of the public press, and declaring his +opinion that it would be better to live in Russia than in a country +which allowed such audacious falsehoods to be propagated. + +"He never touched me, Fisher; I don't think he ever tried; but, upon +my honour, he never touched me." + +"But, Johnny, it was bold in you to make up to Lord De Courcy's +daughter," said Fisher. + +"I never saw one of them in my life." + +"He's going it altogether among the aristocracy, now," said another; +"I suppose you wouldn't look at anybody under a viscount?" + +"Can I help what that thief of an editor puts into his paper? +Flogged! Huffle Scuffle told me I was a felon, but that wasn't half +so bad as this fellow;" and Johnny kicked the newspaper across the +room. + +"Indict him for a libel," said Fisher. + +"Particularly for saying you wanted to marry a countess's daughter," +said another clerk. + +"I never heard such a scandal in my life," declared a third; "and +then to say that the girl wouldn't look at you." + +But not the less was it felt by all in the office that Johnny Eames +was becoming a leading man among them, and that he was one with whom +each of them would be pleased to be intimate. And even among the +grandees this affair of the railway station did him no real harm. It +was known that Crosbie had deserved to be thrashed, and known that +Eames had thrashed him. It was all very well for Sir Raffle Buffle to +talk of police magistrates and misdemeanours, but all the world at +the Income-tax Office knew very well that Eames had come out from +that affair with his head upright, and his right foot foremost. + +"Never mind about the newspaper," a thoughtful old senior clerk said +to him. "As he did get the licking and you didn't, you can afford to +laugh at the newspaper." + +"And you wouldn't write to the editor?" + +"No, no; certainly not. No one thinks of defending himself to a +newspaper except an ass;--unless it be some fellow who wants to have +his name puffed. You may write what's as true as the gospel, but +they'll know how to make fun of it." + +Johnny therefore gave up his idea of an indignant letter to the +editor, but he felt that he was bound to give some explanation of +the whole matter to Lord De Guest. The affair had happened as he was +coming from the earl's house, and all his own concerns had now been +made so much a matter of interest to his kind friend, that he thought +that he could not with propriety leave the earl to learn from the +newspapers either the facts or the falsehoods. And, therefore, before +he left his office he wrote the following letter:-- + + + Income-tax Office, December 29, 186--. + + MY LORD,-- + + +He thought a good deal about the style in which he ought to address +the peer, never having hitherto written to him. He began, "My dear +Lord," on one sheet of paper, and then put it aside, thinking that it +looked over-bold. + + + MY LORD,-- + + As you have been so very kind to me, I feel that I ought + to tell you what happened the other morning at the railway + station, as I was coming back from Guestwick. That + scoundrel Crosbie got into the same carriage with me at + the Barchester Junction, and sat opposite to me all the + way up to London. I did not speak a word to him, or he + to me; but when he got out at the Paddington Station, I + thought I ought not to let him go away, so I-- I can't + say that I thrashed him as I wished to do; but I made an + attempt, and I did give him a black eye. A whole quantity + of policemen got round us, and I hadn't a fair chance. I + know you will think that I was wrong, and perhaps I was; + but what could I do when he sat opposite to me there for + two hours, looking as though he thought himself the finest + fellow in all London? + + They've put a horrible paragraph into one of the + newspapers, saying that I got so "flogged" that I haven't + been able to stir since. It is an atrocious falsehood, + as is all the rest of the newspaper account. I was not + touched. He was not nearly so bad a customer as the + bull, and seemed to take it all very quietly. I must + acknowledge, though, that he didn't get such a beating as + he deserved. + + Your friend Sir R. B. sent for me this morning, and told + me I was a felon. I didn't seem to care much for that, for + he might as well have called me a murderer or a burglar; + but I shall care very much indeed if I have made you angry + with me. But what I most fear is the anger of some one + else,--at Allington. + + Believe me to be, my Lord, + Yours very much obliged and most sincerely, + + JOHN EAMES. + + +"I knew he'd do it if ever he got the opportunity," said the +earl when he had read his letter; and he walked about his room +striking his hands together, and then thrusting his thumbs into his +waistcoat-pockets. "I knew he was made of the right stuff," and the +earl rejoiced greatly in the prowess of his favourite. "I'd have done +it myself if I'd seen him. I do believe I would." Then he went back +to the breakfast-room and told Lady Julia. "What do you think?" said +he; "Johnny Eames has come across Crosbie, and given him a desperate +beating." + +"No!" said Lady Julia, putting down her newspaper and spectacles, and +expressing by the light of her eyes anything but Christian horror at +the wickedness of the deed. + +"But he has, though. I knew he would if he saw him." + +"Beaten him! Actually beaten him!" + +"Sent him home to Lady Alexandrina with two black eyes." + +"Two black eyes! What a young pickle! But did he get hurt himself?" + +"Not a scratch, he says." + +"And what'll they do to him?" + +"Nothing. Crosbie won't be fool enough to do anything. A man becomes +an outlaw when he plays such a game as he has played. Anybody's hand +may be raised against him with impunity. He can't show his face, you +know. He can't come forward and answer questions as to what he has +done. There are offences which the law can't touch, but which outrage +public feeling so strongly that any one may take upon himself the +duty of punishing them. He has been thrashed, and that will stick to +him till he dies." + +"Do tell Johnny from me that I hope he didn't get hurt," said Lady +Julia. The old lady could not absolutely congratulate him on his feat +of arms, but she did the next thing to it. + +But the earl did congratulate him, with a full open assurance of his +approval. + +"I hope," he said, "I should have done the same at your age, under +similar circumstances, and I'm very glad that he proved less +difficult than the bull. I'm quite sure you didn't want any one to +help you with Master Crosbie. As for that other person at Allington, +if I understand such matters at all, I think she will forgive you." +It may, however, be a question whether the earl did understand such +matters at all. And then he added, in a postscript: "When you write +to me again,--and don't be long first, begin your letter, 'My dear +Lord De Guest,'--that is the proper way." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + +AN OLD MAN'S COMPLAINT. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +"Have you been thinking again of what I was saying to you, Bell?" +Bernard said to his cousin one morning. + +"Thinking of it, Bernard? Why should I think more of it? I had hoped +that you had forgotten it yourself." + +"No," he said; "I am not so easy-hearted as that. I cannot look on +such a thing as I would the purchase of a horse, which I could give +up without sorrow if I found that the animal was too costly for my +purse. I did not tell you that I loved you till I was sure of myself, +and having made myself sure I cannot change at all." + +"And yet you would have me change." + +"Yes, of course I would. If your heart be free now, it must of course +be changed before you come to love any man. Such change as that is to +be looked for. But when you have loved, then it will not be easy to +change you." + +"But I have not." + +"Then I have a right to hope. I have been hanging on here, Bell, +longer than I ought to have done, because I could not bring myself to +leave you without speaking of this again. I did not wish to seem to +you to be importunate--" + +"If you could only believe me in what I say." + +"It is not that I do not believe. I am not a puppy or a fool, to +flatter myself that you must be in love with me. I believe you well +enough. But still it is possible that your mind may alter." + +"It is impossible." + +"I do not know whether my uncle or your mother have spoken to you +about this." + +"Such speaking would have no effect." + +In fact, her mother had spoken to her, but she truly said that such +speaking would have no effect. If her cousin could not win the battle +by his own skill, he might have been quite sure, looking at her +character as it was known to him, that he would not be able to win it +by the skill of others. + +"We have all been made very unhappy," he went on to say, "by this +calamity which has fallen on poor Lily." + +"And because she has been deceived by the man she did love, I am to +make matters square by marrying a man I--" and then she paused. "Dear +Bernard, you should not drive me to say words which will sound harsh +to you." + +"No words can be harsher than those which you have already spoken. +But, Bell, at any rate, you may listen to me." + +Then he told her how desirable it was with reference to all the +concerns of the Dale family that she should endeavour to look +favourably on his proposition. It would be good for them all, he +said, especially for Lily, as to whom, at the present moment, their +uncle felt so kindly. He, as Bernard pleaded, was so anxious at heart +for this marriage, that he would do anything that was asked of him +if he were gratified. But if he were not gratified in this, he would +feel that he had ground for displeasure. + +Bell, as she had been desired to listen, did listen very patiently. +But when her cousin had finished, her answer was very short. "Nothing +that my uncle can say, or think, or do, can make any difference in +this," said she. + +"You will think nothing, then, of the happiness of others." + +"I would not marry a man I did not love, to ensure any amount of +happiness to others;--at least I know I ought not to do so. But I +do not believe I should ensure any one's happiness by this marriage. +Certainly not yours." + +After this Bernard had acknowledged to himself that the difficulties +in his way were great. "I will go away till next autumn," he said to +his uncle. + +"If you would give up your profession and remain here, she would not +be so perverse." + +"I cannot do that, sir. I cannot risk the well-being of my life on +such a chance." Then his uncle had been angry with him, as well as +with his niece. In his anger he determined that he would go again to +his sister-in-law, and, after some unreasonable fashion, he resolved +that it would become him to be very angry with her also, if she +declined to assist him with all her influence as a mother. + +"Why should they not both marry?" he said to himself. Lord De Guest's +offer as to young Eames had been very generous. As he had then +declared, he had not been able to express his own opinion at once; +but on thinking over what the earl had said, he had found himself +very willing to heal the family wound in the manner proposed, if any +such healing might be possible. That, however, could not be done +quite as yet. When the time should come, and he thought it might come +soon,--perhaps in the spring, when the days should be fine and the +evenings again long,--he would be willing to take his share with the +earl in establishing that new household. To Crosbie he had refused to +give anything, and there was upon his conscience a shade of remorse +in that he had so refused. But if Lily could be brought to love this +other man, he would be more open-handed. She should have her share +as though she was in fact his daughter. But then, if he intended +to do so much for them at the Small House, should not they in +return do something also for him? So thinking, he went again to his +sister-in-law, determined to explain his views, even though it might +be at the risk of some hard words between them. As regarded himself, +he did not much care for hard words spoken to him. He almost expected +that people's words should be hard and painful. He did not look for +the comfort of affectionate soft greetings, and perhaps would not +have appreciated them had they come to him. He caught Mrs. Dale +walking in the garden, and brought her into his own room, feeling +that he had a better chance there than in her own house. She, with an +old dislike to being lectured in that room, had endeavoured to avoid +the interview, but had failed. + +"So I met John Eames at the manor," he had said to her in the garden. + +"Ah, yes; and how did he get on there? I cannot conceive poor Johnny +keeping holiday with the earl and his sister. How did he behave to +them, and how did they behave to him?" + +"I can assure you he was very much at home there." + +"Was he, indeed? Well, I hope it will do him good. He is, I'm sure, a +very good young man; only rather awkward." + +"I didn't think him awkward at all. You'll find, Mary, that he'll do +very well;--a great deal better than his father did." + +"I'm sure I hope he may." After that Mrs. Dale made her attempt to +escape; but the squire had taken her prisoner, and led her captive +into the house. "Mary," he said, as soon as he had induced her to sit +down, "it is time that this should be settled between my nephew and +niece." + +"I am afraid there will be nothing to settle." + +"What do you mean;--that you disapprove of it?" + +"By no means,--personally. I should approve of it very strongly. But +that has nothing to do with the question." + +"Yes, it has. I beg your pardon, but it must have, and should have +a great deal to do with it. Of course, I am not saying that anybody +should now ever be compelled to marry anybody." + +"I hope not." + +"I never said that they ought, and never thought so. But I do think +that the wishes of all her family should have very great weight with +a girl that has been well brought up." + +"I don't know whether Bell has been well brought up; but in such a +matter as this nobody's wishes would weigh a feather with her; and, +indeed, I could not take upon myself even to express a wish. To you I +can say that I should have been very happy if she could have regarded +her cousin as you wish her to do." + +"You mean that you are afraid to tell her so?" + +"I am afraid to do what I think is wrong, if you mean that." + +"I don't think it would be wrong, and therefore I shall speak to her +myself." + +"You must do as you like about that, Mr. Dale; I can't prevent you. I +shall think you wrong to harass her on such a matter, and I fear also +that her answer will not be satisfactory to you. If you choose to +tell her your opinion, you must do so. Of course I shall think you +wrong, that's all." + +Mrs. Dale's voice as she said this was stern enough, and so was her +countenance. She could not forbid the uncle to speak his mind to his +niece, but she especially disliked the idea of any interference with +her daughter. The squire got up and walked about the room, trying +to compose himself that he might answer her rationally, but without +anger. + +"May I go now?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"May you go? Of course you may go if you like it. If you think that +I am intruding upon you in speaking to you of the welfare of your two +girls, whom I endeavour to regard as my own daughters,--except in +this, that I know they have never been taught to love me,--if you +think that it is an interference on my part to show anxiety for their +welfare, of course you may go." + +"I did not mean to say anything to hurt you, Mr. Dale." + +"Hurt me! What does it signify whether I am hurt or not? I have no +children of my own, and of course my only business in life is to +provide for my nephews and nieces. I am an old fool if I expect that +they are to love me in return, and if I venture to express a wish +I am interfering and doing wrong! It is hard,--very hard. I know +well that they have been brought up to dislike me, and yet I am +endeavouring to do my duty by them." + +"Mr. Dale, that accusation has not been deserved. They have not been +brought up to dislike you. I believe that they have both loved and +respected you as their uncle; but such love and respect will not give +you a right to dispose of their hands." + +"Who wants to dispose of their hands?" + +"There are some things in which I think no uncle,--no parent,--should +interfere, and of all such things this is the chief. If after that +you may choose to tell her your wishes, of course you can do so." + +"It will not be much good after you have set her against me." + +"Mr. Dale, you have no right to say such things to me, and you are +very unjust in doing so. If you think that I have set my girls +against you, it will be much better that we should leave Allington +altogether. I have been placed in circumstances which have made it +difficult for me to do my duty to my children; but I have endeavoured +to do it, not regarding my own personal wishes. I am quite sure, +however, that it would be wrong in me to keep them here, if I am to +be told by you that I have taught them to regard you unfavourably. +Indeed, I cannot suffer such a thing to be said to me." + +All this Mrs. Dale said with an air of decision, and with a voice +expressing a sense of injury received, which made the squire feel +that she was very much in earnest. + +"Is it not true," he said, defending himself, "that in all that +relates to the girls you have ever regarded me with suspicion?" + +"No, it is not true." And then she corrected herself, feeling +that there was something of truth in the squire's last assertion. +"Certainly not with suspicion," she said. "But as this matter has +gone so far, I will explain what my real feelings have been. In +worldly matters you can do much for my girls, and have done much." + +"And wish to do more," said the squire. + +"I am sure you do. But I cannot on that account give up my place as +their only living parent. They are my children, and not yours. And +even could I bring myself to allow you to act as their guardian and +natural protector, they would not consent to such an arrangement. You +cannot call that suspicion." + +"I can call it jealousy." + +"And should not a mother be jealous of her children's love?" + +During all this time the squire was walking up and down the room +with his hands in his trousers pockets. And when Mrs. Dale had last +spoken, he continued his walk for some time in silence. + +"Perhaps it is well that you should have spoken out," he said. + +"The manner in which you accused me made it necessary." + +"I did not intend to accuse you, and I do not do so now; but I think +that you have been, and that you are, very hard to me,--very hard +indeed. I have endeavoured to make your children, and yourself also, +sharers with me in such prosperity as has been mine. I have striven +to add to your comfort and to their happiness. I am most anxious to +secure their future welfare. You would have been very wrong had you +declined to accept this on their behalf; but I think that in return +for it you need not have begrudged me the affection and obedience +which generally follows from such good offices." + +"Mr. Dale, I have begrudged you nothing of this." + +"I am hurt;--I am hurt," he continued. And she was surprised by his +look of pain even more than by the unaccustomed warmth of his words. +"What you have said has, I have known, been the case all along. But +though I had felt it to be so, I own that I am hurt by your open +words." + +"Because I have said that my own children must ever be my own?" + +"Ah, you have said more than that. You and the girls have been living +here, close to me, for--how many years is it now?--and during all +those years there has grown up for me no kindly feeling. Do you think +that I cannot hear, and see, and feel? Do you suppose that I am a +fool and do not know? As for yourself you would never enter this +house if you did not feel yourself constrained to do so for the +sake of appearances. I suppose it is all as it should be. Having no +children of my own, I owe the duty of a parent to my nieces; but I +have no right to expect from them in return either love, regard, or +obedience. I know I am keeping you here against your will, Mary. I +won't do so any longer." And he made a sign to her that she was to +depart. + +As she rose from her seat her heart was softened towards him. In +these latter days he had shown much kindness to the girls,--a +kindness that was more akin to the gentleness of love than had +ever come from him before. Lily's fate had seemed to melt even his +sternness, and he had striven to be tender in his words and ways. +And now he spoke as though he had loved the girls, and had loved +them in vain. Doubtless he had been a disagreeable neighbour to his +sister-in-law, making her feel that it was never for her personally +that he had opened his hand. Doubtless he had been moved by an +unconscious desire to undermine and take upon himself her authority +with her own children. Doubtless he had looked askance at her from +the first day of her marriage with his brother. She had been keenly +alive to all this since she had first known him, and more keenly +alive to it than ever since the failure of those efforts she had made +to live with him on terms of affection, made during the first year or +two of her residence at the Small House. But, nevertheless, in spite +of all, her heart bled for him now. She had gained her victory over +him, having fully held her own position with her children; but now +that he complained that he had been beaten in the struggle, her heart +bled for him. + +"My brother," she said, and as she spoke she offered him her hands, +"it may be that we have not thought as kindly of each other as we +should have done." + +"I have endeavoured," said the old man. "I have endeavoured--" And +then he stopped, either hindered by some excess of emotion, or unable +to find the words which were necessary for the expression of his +meaning. + +"Let us endeavour once again,--both of us." + +"What, begin again at near seventy! No, Mary, there is no more +beginning again for me. All this shall make no difference to the +girls. As long as I am here they shall have the house. If they marry, +I will do for them what I can. I believe Bernard is much in earnest +in his suit, and if Bell will listen to him, she shall still be +welcomed here as mistress of Allington. What you have said shall make +no difference;--but as to beginning again, it is simply impossible." + +After that Mrs. Dale walked home through the garden by herself. He +had studiously told her that that house in which they lived should be +lent, not to her, but to her children, during his lifetime. He had +positively declined the offer of her warmer regard. He had made her +understand that they were to look on each other almost as enemies; +but that she, enemy as she was, should still be allowed the use of +his munificence, because he chose to do his duty by his nieces! + +"It will be better for us that we shall leave it," she said to +herself as she seated herself in her own arm-chair over the +drawing-room fire. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII. + +DOCTOR CROFTS IS CALLED IN. + + +Mrs. Dale had not sat long in her drawing-room before tidings were +brought to her which for a while drew her mind away from that +question of her removal. "Mamma," said Bell, entering the room, +"I really do believe that Jane has got scarlatina." Jane, the +parlour-maid, had been ailing for the last two days, but nothing +serious had hitherto been suspected. + +Mrs. Dale instantly jumped up. "Who is with her?" she asked. + +It appeared from Bell's answer that both she and Lily had been with +the girl, and that Lily was still in the room. Whereupon Mrs. Dale +ran upstairs, and there was on the sudden a commotion in the house. +In an hour or so the village doctor was there, and he expressed an +opinion that the girl's ailment was certainly scarlatina. Mrs. Dale, +not satisfied with this, sent off a boy to Guestwick for Dr. Crofts, +having herself maintained an opposition of many years' standing +against the medical reputation of the apothecary, and gave a positive +order to the two girls not to visit poor Jane again. She herself had +had scarlatina, and might do as she pleased. Then, too, a nurse was +hired. + +All this changed for a few hours the current of Mrs. Dale's thoughts: +but in the evening she went back to the subject of her morning +conversation, and before the three ladies went to bed, they held +together an open council of war upon the subject. Dr. Crofts had +been found to be away from Guestwick, and word had been sent on his +behalf that he would be over at Allington early on the following +morning. Mrs. Dale had almost made up her mind that the malady of +her favourite maid was not scarlatina, but had not on that account +relaxed her order as to the absence of her daughters from the maid's +bedside. + +"Let us go at once," said Bell, who was even more opposed to any +domination on the part of her uncle than was her mother. In the +discussion which had been taking place between them the whole matter +of Bernard's courtship had come upon the carpet. Bell had kept her +cousin's offer to herself as long as she had been able to do so; +but since her uncle had pressed the subject upon Mrs. Dale, it was +impossible for Bell to remain silent any longer. "You do not want +me to marry him, mamma; do you?" she had said, when her mother had +spoken with some show of kindness towards Bernard. In answer to this, +Mrs. Dale had protested vehemently that she had no such wish, and +Lily, who still held to her belief in Dr. Crofts, was almost equally +animated. To them all, the idea that their uncle should in any +way interfere in their own views of life, on the strength of the +pecuniary assistance which they had received from him, was peculiarly +distasteful. But it was especially distasteful that he should presume +to have even an opinion as to their disposition in marriage. They +declared to each other that their uncle could have no right to object +to any marriage which either of them might contemplate as long as +their mother should approve of it. The poor old squire had been right +in saying that he was regarded with suspicion. He was so regarded. +The fault had certainly been his own, in having endeavoured to win +the daughters without thinking it worth his while to win the mother. +The girls had unconsciously felt that the attempt was made, and had +vigorously rebelled against it. It had not been their fault that they +had been brought to live in their uncle's house, and made to ride +on his ponies, and to eat partially of his bread. They had so eaten, +and so lived, and declared themselves to be grateful. The squire was +good in his way, and they recognized his goodness; but not on that +account would they transfer to him one jot of the allegiance which +as children they owed to their mother. When she told them her tale, +explaining to them the words which their uncle had spoken that +morning, they expressed their regret that he should be so grieved; +but they were strong in assurances to their mother that she had been +sinned against, and was not sinning. + +"Let us go at once," said Bell. + +"It is much easier said than done, my dear." + +"Of course it is, mamma; else we shouldn't be here now. What I mean +is this,--let us take some necessary first step at once. It is clear +that my uncle thinks that our remaining here should give him some +right over us. I do not say that he is wrong to think so. Perhaps it +is natural. Perhaps, in accepting his kindness, we ought to submit +ourselves to him. If that be so, it is a conclusive reason for our +going." + +"Could we not pay him rent for the house," said Lily, "as Mrs. Hearn +does? You would like to remain here, mamma, if you could do that?" + +"But we could not do that, Lily. We must choose for ourselves a +smaller house than this, and one that is not burdened with the +expense of a garden. Even if we paid but a moderate rent for this +place, we should not have the means of living here." + +"Not if we lived on toast and tea?" said Lily, laughing. + +"But I should hardly wish you to live upon toast and tea; and indeed +I fancy that I should get tired of such a diet myself." + +"Never, mamma," said Lily. "As for me, I confess to a longing after +mutton chops; but I don't think you would ever want such vulgar +things." + +"At any rate, it would be impossible to remain here," said Bell. +"Uncle Christopher would not take rent from mamma; and even if he +did, we should not know how to go on with our other arrangements +after such a change. No; we must give up the dear old Small House." + +"It is a dear old house," said Lily, thinking, as she spoke, more of +those late scenes in the garden, when Crosbie had been with them in +the autumn months, than of any of the former joys of her childhood. + +"After all, I do not know that I should be right to move," said Mrs. +Dale, doubtingly. + +"Yes, yes," said both the girls at once. "Of course you will be +right, mamma; there cannot be a doubt about it, mamma. If we can get +any cottage, or even lodgings, that would be better than remaining +here, now that we know what uncle Christopher thinks of it." + +"It will make him very unhappy," said Mrs. Dale. + +But even this argument did not in the least move the girls. They were +very sorry that their uncle should be unhappy. They would endeavour +to show him by some increased show of affection that their feelings +towards him were not unkind. Should he speak to them they would +endeavour to explain to him that their thoughts towards him were +altogether affectionate. But they could not remain at Allington +increasing their load of gratitude, seeing that he expected a certain +payment which they did not feel themselves able to render. + +"We should be robbing him, if we stayed here," Bell +declared;--"wilfully robbing him of what he believes to be his just +share of the bargain." + +So it was settled among them that notice should be given to their +uncle of their intention to quit the Small House of Allington. + +And then came the question as to their new home. Mrs. Dale was aware +that her income was at any rate better than that possessed by Mrs. +Eames, and therefore she had fair ground for presuming that she could +afford to keep a house at Guestwick. "If we do go away, that is what +we must do," she said. + +"And we shall have to walk out with Mary Eames, instead of Susan +Boyce," said Lily. "It won't make so much difference after all." + +"In that respect we shall gain as much as we lose," said Bell. + +"And then it will be so nice to have the shops," said Lily, +ironically. + +"Only we shall never have any money to buy anything," said Bell. + +"But we shall see more of the world," said Lily. "Lady Julia's +carriage comes into town twice a week, and the Miss Gruffens drive +about in great style. Upon the whole, we shall gain a great deal; +only for the poor old garden. Mamma, I do think I shall break my +heart at parting with Hopkins; and as to him, I shall be disappointed +in mankind if he ever holds his head up again after I am gone." + +But in truth there was very much of sadness in their resolution, and +to Mrs. Dale it seemed as though she were managing matters badly +for her daughters, and allowing poverty and misfortune to come upon +them through her own fault. She well knew how great a load of sorrow +was lying on Lily's heart, hidden beneath those little attempts at +pleasantry which she made. When she spoke of being disappointed in +mankind, Mrs. Dale could hardly repress an outward shudder that would +betray her thoughts. And now she was consenting to take them forth +from their comfortable home, from the luxury of their lawns and +gardens, and to bring them to some small dingy corner of a provincial +town,--because she had failed to make herself happy with her +brother-in-law. Could she be right to give up all the advantages +which they enjoyed at Allington,--advantages which had come to them +from so legitimate a source,--because her own feelings had been +wounded? In all their future want of comfort, in the comfortless +dowdiness of the new home to which she would remove them, would +she not always blame herself for having brought them to that by +her own false pride? And yet it seemed to her that she now had no +alternative. She could not now teach her daughters to obey their +uncle's wishes in all things. She could not make Bell understand that +it would be well that she should marry Bernard because the squire had +set his heart on such a marriage. She had gone so far that she could +not now go back. + +"I suppose we must move at Lady-day?" said Bell, who was in favour of +instant action. "If so, had you not better let uncle Christopher know +at once?" + +"I don't think that we can find a house by that time." + +"We can get in somewhere," continued Bell. "There are plenty of +lodgings in Guestwick, you know." But the sound of the word lodgings +was uncomfortable in Mrs. Dale's ears. + +"If we are to go, let us go at once," said Lily. "We need not stand +much upon the order of our going." + +"Your uncle will be very much shocked," said Mrs. Dale. + +"He cannot say that it is your fault," said Bell. + +It was thus agreed between them that the necessary information should +be at once given to the squire, and that the old, well-loved house +should be left for ever. It would be a great fall in a worldly +point of view,--from the Allington Small House to an abode in some +little street of Guestwick. At Allington they had been county +people,--raised to a level with their own squire and other squires by +the circumstance of their residence; but at Guestwick they would be +small even among the people of the town. They would be on an equality +with the Eameses, and much looked down upon by the Gruffens. They +would hardly dare to call any more at Guestwick Manor, seeing that +they certainly could not expect Lady Julia to call upon them at +Guestwick. Mrs. Boyce no doubt would patronize them, and they could +already anticipate the condolence which would be offered to them by +Mrs. Hearn. Indeed such a movement on their part would be tantamount +to a confession of failure in the full hearing of so much of the +world as was known to them. + +I must not allow my readers to suppose that these considerations were +a matter of indifference to any of the ladies at the Small House. To +some women of strong mind, of highly-strung philosophic tendencies, +such considerations might have been indifferent. But Mrs. Dale was +not of this nature, nor were her daughters. The good things of the +world were good in their eyes, and they valued the privilege of +a pleasant social footing among their friends. They were by no +means capable of a wise contempt of the advantages which chance had +hitherto given to them. They could not go forth rejoicing in the +comparative poverty of their altered condition. But then, neither +could they purchase those luxuries which they were about to abandon +at the price which was asked for them. + +"Had you not better write to my uncle?" said one of the girls. But +to this Mrs. Dale objected that she could not make a letter on such +a subject clearly intelligible, and that therefore she would see the +squire on the following morning. "It will be very dreadful," she +said, "but it will soon be over. It is not what he will say at the +moment that I fear so much, as the bitter reproaches of his face when +I shall meet him afterwards." So, on the following morning, she again +made her way, and now without invitation, to the squire's study. + +"Mr. Dale," she began, starting upon her work with some confusion in +her manner, and hurry in her speech, "I have been thinking over what +we were saying together yesterday, and I have come to a resolution +which I know I ought to make known to you without a moment's delay." + +The squire also had thought of what had passed between them, and had +suffered much as he had done so; but he had thought of it without +acerbity or anger. His thoughts were ever gentler than his words, and +his heart softer than any exponent of his heart that he was able to +put forth. He wished to love his brother's children, and to be loved +by them; but even failing that, he wished to do good to them. It had +not occurred to him to be angry with Mrs. Dale after that interview +was over. The conversation had not gone pleasantly with him; but +then he hardly expected that things would go pleasantly. No idea had +occurred to him that evil could come upon any of the Dale ladies from +the words which had then been spoken. He regarded the Small House as +their abode and home as surely as the Great House was his own. In +giving him his due, it must be declared that any allusion to their +holding these as a benefit done to them by him had been very far +from his thoughts. Mrs. Hearn, who held her cottage at half its real +value, grumbled almost daily at him as her landlord; but it never +occurred to him that therefore he should raise her rent, or that in +not doing so he was acting with special munificence. It had ever been +to him a grumbling, cross-grained, unpleasant world; and he did not +expect from Mrs. Hearn, or from his sister-in-law, anything better +than that to which he had ever been used. + +"It will make me very happy," said he, "if it has any bearing on +Bell's marriage with her cousin." + +"Mr. Dale, that is out of the question. I would not vex you by saying +so if I were not certain of it; but I know my child so well!" + +"Then we must leave it to time, Mary." + +"Yes, of course; but no time will suffice to make Bell change her +mind. We will, however, leave the subject. And now, Mr. Dale, I have +to tell you of something else;--we have resolved to leave the Small +House." + +"Resolved on what?" said the squire, turning his eyes full upon her. + +"We have resolved to leave the Small House." + +"Leave the Small House!" he said, repeating her words; "and where on +earth do you mean to go?" + +"We think we shall go into Guestwick." + +"And why?" + +"Ah, that is so hard to explain. If you would only accept the fact as +I tell it to you, and not ask for the reasons which have guided me!" + +"But that is out of the question, Mary. In such a matter as that I +must ask your reasons; and I must tell you also that, in my opinion, +you will not be doing your duty to your daughters in carrying out +such an intention, unless your reasons are very strong indeed." + +"But they are very strong," said Mrs. Dale; and then she paused. + +"I cannot understand it," said the squire. "I cannot bring myself +to believe that you are really in earnest. Are you not comfortable +there?" + +"More comfortable than we have any right to be with our means." + +"But I thought you always did very nicely with your money. You never +get into debt." + +"No; I never get into debt. It is not that, exactly. The fact is, +Mr. Dale, we have no right to live there without paying rent; but we +could not afford to live there if we did pay rent." + +"Who has talked about rent?" he said, jumping up from his chair. +"Some one has been speaking falsehoods of me behind my back." No +gleam of the real truth had yet come to him. No idea had reached his +mind that his relatives thought it necessary to leave his house in +consequence of any word that he himself had spoken. He had never +considered himself to have been in any special way generous to them, +and would not have thought it reasonable that they should abandon the +house in which they had been living, even if his anger against them +had been strong and hot. "Mary," he said, "I must insist upon getting +to the bottom of this. As for your leaving the house, it is out of +the question. Where can you be better off, or so well? As to going +into Guestwick, what sort of life would there be for the girls? I +put all that aside as out of the question; but I must know what has +induced you to make such a proposition. Tell me honestly,--has any +one spoken evil of me behind my back?" + +Mrs. Dale had been prepared for opposition and for reproach; but +there was a decision about the squire's words, and an air of +masterdom in his manner, which made her recognize more fully than she +had yet done the difficulty of her position. She almost began to fear +that she would lack power to carry out her purpose. + +"Indeed, it is not so, Mr. Dale." + +"Then what is it?" + +"I know that if I attempt to tell you, you will be vexed, and will +contradict me." + +"Vexed I shall be, probably." + +"And yet I cannot help it. Indeed, I am endeavouring to do what is +right by you and by the children." + +"Never mind me; your duty is to think of them." + +"Of course it is; and in doing this they most cordially agree with +me." + +In using such argument as that, Mrs. Dale showed her weakness, and +the squire was not slow to take advantage of it. "Your duty is to +them," he said; "but I do not mean by that that your duty is to let +them act in any way that may best please them for the moment. I +can understand that they should be run away with by some romantic +nonsense, but I cannot understand it of you." + +"The truth is this, Mr. Dale. You think that my children owe to you +that sort of obedience which is due to a parent, and as long as they +remain here, accepting from your hands so large a part of their daily +support, it is perhaps natural that you should think so. In this +unhappy affair about Bell--" + +"I have never said anything of the kind," said the squire, +interrupting her. + +"No; you have not said so. And I do not wish you to think that I +make any complaint. But I feel that it is so, and they feel it. And, +therefore, we have made up our minds to go away." + +Mrs. Dale, as she finished, was aware that she had not told her story +well, but she had acknowledged to herself that it was quite out of +her power to tell it as it should be told. Her main object was to +make her brother-in-law understand that she certainly would leave his +house, and to make him understand this with as little pain to himself +as possible. She did not in the least mind his thinking her foolish, +if only she could so carry her point as to be able to tell her +daughters on her return that the matter was settled. But the squire, +from his words and manners, seemed indisposed to give her this +privilege. + +"Of all the propositions which I ever heard," said he, "it is the +most unreasonable. It amounts to this, that you are too proud to live +rent-free in a house which belongs to your husband's brother, and +therefore you intend to subject yourself and your children to the +great discomfort of a very straitened income. If you yourself only +were concerned I should have no right to say anything; but I think +myself bound to tell you that, as regards the girls, everybody that +knows you will think you to have been very wrong. It is in the +natural course of things that they should live in that house. The +place has never been let. As far as I know, no rent has ever been +paid for the house since it was built. It has always been given to +some member of the family, who has been considered as having the best +right to it. I have considered your footing there as firm as my own +here. A quarrel between me and your children would be to me a great +calamity, though, perhaps, they might be indifferent to it. But if +there were such a quarrel it would afford no reason for their leaving +that house. Let me beg you to think over the matter again." + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Let me beg you to think over the matter again."] + + +The squire could assume an air of authority on certain occasions, and +he had done so now. Mrs. Dale found that she could only answer him +by a simple repetition of her own intention; and, indeed, failed in +making him any serviceable answer whatsoever. + +"I know that you are very good to my girls," she said. + +"I will say nothing about that," he answered; not thinking at that +moment of the Small House, but of the full possession which he had +desired to give to the elder of all the privileges which should +belong to the mistress of Allington,--thinking also of the means by +which he was hoping to repair poor Lily's shattered fortunes. What +words were further said had no great significance, and Mrs. Dale got +herself away, feeling that she had failed. As soon as she was gone +the squire arose, and putting on his great-coat, went forth with his +hat and stick to the front of the house. He went out in order that +his thoughts might be more free, and that he might indulge in that +solace which an injured man finds in contemplating his injury. He +declared to himself that he was very hardly used,--so hardly used, +that he almost began to doubt himself and his own motives. Why was +it that the people around him disliked him so strongly,--avoided him +and thwarted him in the efforts which he made for their welfare? He +offered to his nephew all the privileges of a son,--much more indeed +than the privileges of a son,--merely asking in return that he would +consent to live permanently in the house which was to be his own. But +his nephew refused. "He cannot bear to live with me," said the old +man to himself sorely. He was prepared to treat his nieces with more +generosity than the daughters of the House of Allington had usually +received from their fathers; and they repelled his kindness, running +away from him, and telling him openly that they would not be beholden +to him. He walked slowly up and down the terrace, thinking of this +very bitterly. He did not find in the contemplation of his grievance +all that solace which a grievance usually gives, because he accused +himself in his thoughts rather than others. He declared to himself +that he was made to be hated, and protested to himself that it would +be well that he should die and be buried out of memory, so that +the remaining Dales might have a better chance of living happily; +and then as he thus discussed all this within his own bosom, his +thoughts were very tender, and though he was aggrieved, he was most +affectionate to those who had most injured him. But it was absolutely +beyond his power to reproduce outwardly, with words and outward +signs, such thoughts and feelings. + +It was now very nearly the end of the year, but the weather was still +soft and open. The air was damp rather than cold, and the lawns +and fields still retained the green tints of new vegetation. As +the squire was walking on the terrace Hopkins came up to him, and +touching his hat, remarked that they should have frost in a day or +two. + +"I suppose we shall," said the squire. + +"We must have the mason to the flues of that little grape-house, sir, +before I can do any good with a fire there." + +"Which grape-house?" said the squire, crossly. + +"Why, the grape-house in the other garden, sir. It ought to have been +done last year by rights." This Hopkins said to punish his master +for being cross to him. On that matter of the flues of Mrs. Dale's +grape-house he had, with much consideration, spared his master during +the last winter, and he felt that this ought to be remembered now. "I +can't put any fire in it, not to do any real good, till something's +done. That's sure." + +"Then don't put any fire in it," said the squire. + +Now the grapes in question were supposed to be peculiarly fine, and +were the glory of the garden of the Small House. They were always +forced, though not forced so early as those at the Great House, and +Hopkins was in a state of great confusion. + +"They'll never ripen, sir; not the whole year through." + +"Then let them be unripe," said the squire, walking about. + +Hopkins did not at all understand it. The squire in his natural +course was very unwilling to neglect any such matter as this, but +would be specially unwilling to neglect anything touching the +Small House. So Hopkins stood on the terrace, raising his hat and +scratching his head. "There's something wrong amongst them," said he +to himself, sorrowfully. + +But when the squire had walked to the end of the terrace and had +turned upon the path which led round the side of the house, he +stopped and called to Hopkins. + +"Have what is needful done to the flue," he said. + +"Yes, sir; very well, sir. It'll only be re-setting the bricks. +Nothing more ain't needful, just this winter." + +"Have the place put in perfect order while you're about it," said the +squire, and then he walked away. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX. + +DR. CROFTS IS TURNED OUT. + + +"Have you heard the news, my dear, from the Small House?" said Mrs. +Boyce to her husband, some two or three days after Mrs. Dale's visit +to the squire. It was one o'clock, and the parish pastor had come in +from his ministrations to dine with his wife and children. + +"What news?" said Mr. Boyce, for he had heard none. + +"Mrs. Dale and the girls are going to leave the Small House; they're +going into Guestwick to live." + +"Mrs. Dale going away; nonsense!" said the vicar. "What on earth +should take her into Guestwick? She doesn't pay a shilling of rent +where she is." + +"I can assure you it's true, my dear. I was with Mrs. Hearn just now, +and she had it direct from Mrs. Dale's own lips. Mrs. Hearn said +she'd never been taken so much aback in her whole life. There's been +some quarrel, you may be sure of that." + +Mr. Boyce sat silent, pulling off his dirty shoes preparatory to his +dinner. Tidings so important, as touching the social life of his +parish, had not come to him for many a day, and he could hardly bring +himself to credit them at so short a notice. + +"Mrs. Hearn says that Mrs. Dale spoke ever so firmly about it, as +though determined that nothing should change her." + +"And did she say why?" + +"Well, not exactly. But Mrs. Hearn said she could understand there +had been words between her and the squire. It couldn't be anything +else, you know. Probably it had something to do with that man +Crosbie." + +"They'll be very pushed about money," said Mr. Boyce, thrusting his +feet into his slippers. + +"That's just what I said to Mrs. Hearn. And those girls have never +been used to anything like real economy. What's to become of them I +don't know;" and Mrs. Boyce, as she expressed her sympathy for her +dear friends, received considerable comfort from the prospect of +their future poverty. It always is so, and Mrs. Boyce was not worse +than her neighbours. + +"You'll find they'll make it up before the time comes," said Mr. +Boyce, to whom the excitement of such a change in affairs was almost +too good to be true. + +"I am afraid not," said Mrs. Boyce; "I'm afraid not. They are both so +determined. I always thought that riding and giving the girls hats +and habits was injurious. It was treating them as though they were +the squire's daughters, and they were not the squire's daughters." + +"It was almost the same thing." + +"But now we see the difference," said the judicious Mrs. Boyce. "I +often said that dear Mrs. Dale was wrong, and it turns out that I was +right. It will make no difference to me, as regards calling on them +and that sort of thing." + +"Of course it won't." + +"Not but what there must be a difference, and a very great difference +too. It will be a terrible come down for poor Lily, with the loss of +her fine husband and all." + +After dinner, when Mr. Boyce had again gone forth upon his labours, +the same subject was discussed between Mrs. Boyce and her daughters, +and the mother was very careful to teach her children that Mrs. Dale +would be just as good a person as ever she had been, and quite as +much a lady, even though she should live in a very dingy house at +Guestwick; from which lesson the Boyce girls learned plainly that +Mrs. Dale, with Bell and Lily, were about to have a fall in the +world, and that they were to be treated accordingly. + +From all this, it will be discovered that Mrs. Dale had not given +way to the squire's arguments, although she had found herself unable +to answer them. As she had returned home she had felt herself to be +almost vanquished, and had spoken to the girls with the air and tone +of a woman who hardly knew in which course lay the line of her duty. +But they had not seen the squire's manner on the occasion, nor heard +his words, and they could not understand that their own purpose +should be abandoned because he did not like it. So they talked their +mother into fresh resolves, and on the following morning she wrote a +note to her brother-in-law, assuring him that she had thought much of +all that he had said, but again declaring that she regarded herself +as bound in duty to leave the Small House. To this he had returned +no answer, and she had communicated her intention to Mrs. Hearn, +thinking it better that there should be no secret in the matter. + +"I am sorry to hear that your sister-in-law is going to leave us," +Mr. Boyce said to the squire that same afternoon. + +"Who told you that?" asked the squire, showing by his tone that he by +no means liked the topic of conversation which the parson had chosen. + +"Well, I had it from Mrs. Boyce, and I think Mrs. Hearn told her." + +"I wish Mrs. Hearn would mind her own business, and not spread idle +reports." + +The squire said nothing more, and Mr. Boyce felt that he had been +very unjustly snubbed. + +Dr. Crofts had come over and pronounced as a fact that it was +scarlatina. Village apothecaries are generally wronged by the doubts +which are thrown upon them, for the town doctors when they come +always confirm what the village apothecaries have said. + +"There can be no doubt as to its being scarlatina," the doctor +declared; "but the symptoms are all favourable." + +There was, however, much worse coming than this. Two days afterwards +Lily found herself to be rather unwell. She endeavoured to keep it to +herself, fearing that she should be brought under the doctor's notice +as a patient; but her efforts were unavailing, and on the following +morning it was known that she had also taken the disease. Dr. Crofts +declared that everything was in her favour. The weather was cold. +The presence of the malady in the house had caused them all to be +careful, and, moreover, good advice was at hand at once. The doctor +begged Mrs. Dale not to be uneasy, but he was very eager in begging +that the two sisters might not be allowed to be together. "Could +you not send Bell into Guestwick,--to Mrs. Eames's?" said he. But +Bell did not choose to be sent to Mrs. Eames's, and was with great +difficulty kept out of her mother's bedroom, to which Lily as an +invalid was transferred. + +"If you will allow me to say so," he said to Bell, on the second day +after Lily's complaint had declared itself, "you are wrong to stay +here in the house." + +"I certainly shall not leave mamma, when she has got so much upon her +hands," said Bell. + +"But if you should be taken ill she would have more on her hands," +pleaded the doctor. + +"I could not do it," Bell replied. "If I were taken over to +Guestwick, I should be so uneasy that I should walk back to Allington +the first moment that I could escape from the house." + +"I think your mother would be more comfortable without you." + +"And I think she would be more comfortable with me. I don't ever like +to hear of a woman running away from illness; but when a sister or +a daughter does so, it is intolerable." So Bell remained, without +permission indeed to see her sister, but performing various outside +administrations which were much needed. + +And thus all manner of trouble came upon the inhabitants of the Small +House, falling upon them as it were in a heap together. It was as yet +barely two months since those terrible tidings had come respecting +Crosbie; tidings which, it was felt at the time, would of themselves +be sufficient to crush them; and now to that misfortune other +misfortunes had been added,--one quick upon the heels of another. In +the teeth of the doctor's kind prophecy Lily became very ill, and +after a few days was delirious. She would talk to her mother about +Crosbie, speaking of him as she used to speak in the autumn that was +passed. But even in her madness she remembered that they had resolved +to leave their present home; and she asked the doctor twice whether +their lodgings in Guestwick were ready for them. + +It was thus that Crofts first heard of their intention. Now, in +these days of Lily's worst illness, he came daily over to Allington, +remaining there, on one occasion, the whole night. For all this he +would take no fee;--nor had he ever taken a fee from Mrs. Dale. "I +wish you would not come so often," Bell said to him one evening, as +he stood with her at the drawing-room fire, after he had left the +patient's room; "you are overloading us with obligations." On that +day Lily was over the worst of the fever, and he had been able to +tell Mrs. Dale that he did not think that she was now in danger. + +"It will not be necessary much longer," he said; "the worst of it is +over." + +"It is such a luxury to hear you say so. I suppose we shall owe her +life to you; but nevertheless--" + +"Oh, no; scarlatina is not such a terrible thing now as it used to +be." + +"Then why should you have devoted your time to her as you have done? +It frightens me when I think of the injury we must have done you." + +"My horse has felt it more than I have," said the doctor, laughing. +"My patients at Guestwick are not so very numerous." Then, instead of +going, he sat himself down. "And it is really true," he said, "that +you are all going to leave this house?" + +"Quite true. We shall do so at the end of March, if Lily is well +enough to be moved." + +"Lily will be well long before that, I hope; not, indeed, that she +ought to be moved out of her own rooms for many weeks to come yet." + +"Unless we are stopped by her we shall certainly go at the end of +March." Bell now had also sat down, and they both remained for some +time looking at the fire in silence. + +"And why is it, Bell?" he said, at last. "But I don't know whether I +have a right to ask." + +"You have a right to ask any question about us," she said. "My uncle +is very kind. He is more than kind; he is generous. But he seems to +think that our living here gives him a right to interfere with mamma. +We don't like that, and, therefore, we are going." + +The doctor still sat on one side of the fire, and Bell still sat +opposite to him; but the conversation did not form itself very freely +between them. "It is bad news," he said, at last. + +"At any rate, when we are ill you will not have so far to come and +see us." + +"Yes, I understand. That means that I am ungracious not to +congratulate myself on having you all so much nearer to me; but I do +not in the least. I cannot bear to think of you as living anywhere +but here at Allington. Dales will be out of their place in a street +at Guestwick." + +"That's hard upon the Dales, too." + +"It is hard upon them. It's a sort of offshoot from that very +tyrannical law of noblesse oblige. I don't think you ought to go away +from Allington, unless the circumstances are very imperative." + +"But they are very imperative." + +"In that case, indeed!" And then again he fell into silence. + +"Have you never seen that mamma is not happy here?" she said, after +another pause. "For myself, I never quite understood it all before as +I do now; but now I see it." + +"And I have seen it;--have seen at least what you mean. She has led +a life of restraint; but then, how frequently is such restraint the +necessity of a life? I hardly think that your mother would move on +that account." + +"No. It is on our account. But this restraint, as you call it, makes +us unhappy, and she is governed by seeing that. My uncle is generous +to her as regards money; but in other things,--in matters of +feeling,--I think he has been ungenerous." + +"Bell," said the doctor; and then he paused. + +She looked up at him, but made no answer. He had always called her +by her Christian name, and they two had ever regarded each other +as close friends. At the present moment she had forgotten all else +besides this, and yet she had infinite pleasure in sitting there and +talking to him. + +"I am going to ask you a question which perhaps I ought not to ask, +only that I have known you so long that I almost feel that I am +speaking to a sister." + +"You may ask me what you please," said she. + +"It is about your cousin Bernard." + +"About Bernard!" said Bell. + +It was now dusk; and as they were sitting without other light than +that of the fire, she knew that he could not discern the colour which +covered her face as her cousin's name was mentioned. But, had the +light of day pervaded the whole room, I doubt whether Crofts would +have seen that blush, for he kept his eyes firmly fixed upon the +fire. + +"Yes, about Bernard. I don't know whether I ought to ask you." + +"I'm sure I can't say," said Bell, speaking words of the nature of +which she was not conscious. + +"There has been a rumour in Guestwick that he and you--" + +"It is untrue," said Bell; "quite untrue. If you hear it repeated, +you should contradict it. I wonder why people should say such +things." + +"It would have been an excellent marriage;--all your friends must +have approved it." + +"What do you mean, Dr. Crofts? How I do hate those words, 'an +excellent marriage.' In them is contained more of wicked worldliness +than any other words that one ever hears spoken. You want me to marry +my cousin simply because I should have a great house to live in, and +a coach. I know that you are my friend; but I hate such friendship as +that." + +"I think you misunderstand me, Bell. I mean that it would have been +an excellent marriage, provided you had both loved each other." + +"No, I don't misunderstand you. Of course it would be an excellent +marriage, if we loved each other. You might say the same if I loved +the butcher or the baker. What you mean is, that it makes a reason +for loving him." + +"I don't think I did mean that." + +"Then you mean nothing." + +After that, there were again some minutes of silence during which +Dr. Crofts got up to go away. "You have scolded me very dreadfully," +he said, with a slight smile, "and I believe I have deserved it for +interfering--" + +"No; not at all for interfering." + +"But at any rate you must forgive me before I go." + +"I won't forgive you at all, unless you repent of your sins, and +alter altogether the wickedness of your mind. You will become very +soon as bad as Dr. Gruffen." + +"Shall I?" + +"Oh, but I will forgive you; for after all, you are the most generous +man in the world." + +"Oh, yes; of course I am. Well,--good-by." + +"But, Dr. Crofts, you should not suppose others to be so much more +worldly than yourself. You do not care for money so very much--" + +"But I do care very much." + +"If you did, you would not come here for nothing day after day." + +"I do care for money very much. I have sometimes nearly broken my +heart because I could not get opportunities of earning it. It is the +best friend that a man can have--" + +"Oh, Dr. Crofts!" + +"--the best friend that a man can have, if it be honestly come by. +A woman can hardly realize the sorrow which may fall upon a man from +the want of such a friend." + +"Of course a man likes to earn a decent living by his profession; and +you can do that." + +"That depends upon one's ideas of decency." + +"Ah! mine never ran very high. I've always had a sort of aptitude for +living in a pigsty;--a clean pigsty, you know, with nice fresh bean +straw to lie upon. I think it was a mistake when they made a lady of +me. I do, indeed." + +"I do not," said Dr. Crofts. + +"That's because you don't quite know me yet. I've not the slightest +pleasure in putting on three different dresses a day. I do it very +often because it comes to me to do it, from the way in which we have +been taught to live. But when we get to Guestwick I mean to change +all that; and if you come in to tea, you'll see me in the same brown +frock that I wear in the morning,--unless, indeed, the morning +work makes the brown frock dirty. Oh, Dr. Crofts! you'll have it +pitch-dark riding home under the Guestwick elms." + +"I don't mind the dark," he said; and it seemed as though he hardly +intended to go even yet. + +"But I do," said Bell, "and I shall ring for candles." But he stopped +her as she put her hand out to the bell-pull. + +"Stop a moment, Bell. You need hardly have the candles before I go, +and you need not begrudge my staying either, seeing that I shall be +all alone at home." + +"Begrudge your staying!" + +"But, however, you shall begrudge it, or else make me very welcome." +He still held her by the wrist, which he had caught as he prevented +her from summoning the servant. + +"What do you mean?" said she. "You know you are welcome to us as +flowers in May. You always were welcome; but now, when you have come +to us in our trouble-- At any rate, you shall never say that I turn +you out." + +"Shall I never say so?" And still he held her by the wrist. He had +kept his chair throughout, but she was standing before him,--between +him and the fire. But she, though he held her in this way, thought +little of his words, or of his action. They had known each other with +great intimacy, and though Lily would still laugh at her, saying that +Dr. Crofts was her lover, she had long since taught herself that no +such feeling as that would ever exist between them. + +"Shall I never say so, Bell? What if so poor a man as I ask for the +hand that you will not give to so rich a man as your cousin Bernard?" + +She instantly withdrew her arm and moved back very quickly a step or +two across the rug. She did it almost with the motion which she might +have used had he insulted her; or had a man spoken such words who +would not, under any circumstances, have a right to speak them. + +"Ah, yes! I thought it would be so," he said. "I may go now, and may +know that I have been turned out." + +"What is it you mean, Dr. Crofts? What is it you are saying? Why do +you talk that nonsense, trying to see if you can provoke me?" + +"Yes; it is nonsense. I have no right to address you in that way, and +certainly should not have done it now that I am in your house in the +way of my profession. I beg your pardon." Now he also was standing, +but he had not moved from his side of the fireplace. "Are you going +to forgive me before I go?" + +"Forgive you for what?" said she. + +"For daring to love you; for having loved you almost as long as you +can remember; for loving you better than all beside. This alone you +should forgive; but will you forgive me for having told it?" + +He had made her no offer, nor did she expect that he was about to +make one. She herself had hardly yet realized the meaning of his +words, and she certainly had asked herself no question as to the +answer which she should give to them. There are cases in which lovers +present themselves in so unmistakeable a guise, that the first word +of open love uttered by them tells their whole story, and tells it +without the possibility of a surprise. And it is generally so when +the lover has not been an old friend, when even his acquaintance +has been of modern date. It had been so essentially in the case of +Crosbie and Lily Dale. When Crosbie came to Lily and made his offer, +he did it with perfect ease and thorough self-possession, for he +almost knew that it was expected. And Lily, though she had been +flurried for a moment, had her answer pat enough. She already loved +the man with all her heart, delighted in his presence, basked in +the sunshine of his manliness, rejoiced in his wit, and had tuned +her ears to the tone of his voice. It had all been done, and the +world expected it. Had he not made his offer, Lily would have been +ill-treated;--though, alas, alas, there was future ill-treatment, so +much heavier, in store for her! But there are other cases in which +a lover cannot make himself known as such without great difficulty, +and when he does do so, cannot hope for an immediate answer in his +favour. It is hard upon old friends that this difficulty should +usually fall the heaviest upon them. Crofts had been so intimate with +the Dale family that very many persons had thought it probable that +he would marry one of the girls. Mrs. Dale herself had thought so, +and had almost hoped it. Lily had certainly done both. These thoughts +and hopes had somewhat faded away, but yet their former existence +should have been in the doctor's favour. But now, when he had in some +way spoken out, Bell started back from him and would not believe that +he was in earnest. She probably loved him better than any man in the +world, and yet, when he spoke to her of love, she could not bring +herself to understand him. + +"I don't know what you mean, Dr. Crofts; indeed I do not," she said. + +"I had meant to ask you to be my wife; simply that. But you shall not +have the pain of making me a positive refusal. As I rode here to-day +I thought of it. During my frequent rides of late I have thought of +little else. But I told myself that I had no right to do it. I have +not even a house in which it would be fit that you should live." + +"Dr. Crofts, if I loved you,--if I wished to marry you--" and then +she stopped herself. + +"But you do not?" + +"No; I think not. I suppose not. No. But in any way no consideration +about money has anything to do with it." + +"But I am not that butcher or that baker whom you could love?" + +"No," said Bell; and then she stopped herself from further speech, +not as intending to convey all her answer in that one word, but as +not knowing how to fashion any further words. + +"I knew it would be so," said the doctor. + +It will, I fear, be thought by those who condescend to criticize this +lover's conduct and his mode of carrying on his suit, that he was +very unfit for such work. Ladies will say that he wanted courage, and +men will say that he wanted wit. I am inclined, however, to believe +that he behaved as well as men generally do behave on such occasions, +and that he showed himself to be a good average lover. There is your +bold lover, who knocks his lady-love over as he does a bird, and +who would anathematize himself all over, and swear that his gun was +distraught, and look about as though he thought the world was coming +to an end, if he missed to knock over his bird. And there is your +timid lover, who winks his eyes when he fires, who has felt certain +from the moment in which he buttoned on his knickerbockers that he +at any rate would kill nothing, and who, when he hears the loud +congratulations of his friends, cannot believe that he really did +bag that beautiful winged thing by his own prowess. The beautiful +winged thing which the timid man carries home in his bosom, declining +to have it thrown into a miscellaneous cart, so that it may never +be lost in a common crowd of game, is better to him than are the +slaughtered hecatombs to those who kill their birds by the hundred. + +But Dr. Crofts had so winked his eye, that he was not in the least +aware whether he had winged his bird or no. Indeed, having no one at +hand to congratulate him, he was quite sure that the bird had flown +away uninjured into the next field. "No" was the only word which Bell +had given in answer to his last sidelong question, and No is not a +comfortable word to lovers. But there had been that in Bell's No +which might have taught him that the bird was not escaping without a +wound, if he had still had any of his wits about him. + +"Now I will go," said he. Then he paused for an answer, but none +came. "And you will understand what I meant when I spoke of being +turned out." + +"Nobody--turns you out." And Bell, as she spoke, had almost descended +to a sob. + +"It is time, at any rate, that I should go; is it not? And, Bell, +don't suppose that this little scene will keep me away from your +sister's bedside. I shall be here to-morrow, and you will find that +you will hardly know me again for the same person." Then in the dark +he put out his hand to her. + +"Good-by," she said, giving him her hand. He pressed hers very +closely, but she, though she wished to do so, could not bring herself +to return the pressure. Her hand remained passive in his, showing no +sign of offence; but it was absolutely passive. + +"Good-by, dearest friend," he said. + +"Good-by," she answered,--and then he was gone. + +She waited quite still till she heard the front-door close after him, +and then she crept silently up to her own bedroom, and sat herself +down in a low rocking-chair over the fire. It was in accordance with +a custom already established that her mother should remain with Lily +till the tea was ready downstairs; for in these days of illness such +dinners as were provided were eaten early. Bell, therefore, knew that +she had still some half-hour of her own, during which she might sit +and think undisturbed. + +And what naturally should have been her first thoughts?--that she had +ruthlessly refused a man who, as she now knew, loved her well, and +for whom she had always felt at any rate the warmest friendship? Such +were not her thoughts, nor were they in any way akin to this. They +ran back instantly to years gone by,--over long years, as her few +years were counted,--and settled themselves on certain halcyon days, +in which she had dreamed that he had loved her, and had fancied +that she had loved him. How she had schooled herself for those days +since that, and taught herself to know that her thoughts had been +over-bold! And now it had all come round. The only man that she +had ever liked had loved her. Then there came to her a memory of a +certain day, in which she had been almost proud to think that Crosbie +had admired her, in which she had almost hoped that it might be so; +and as she thought of this she blushed, and struck her foot twice +upon the floor. "Dear Lily," she said to herself--"poor Lily!" But +the feeling which induced her then to think of her sister had had no +relation to that which had first brought Crosbie into her mind. + +And this man had loved her through it all,--this priceless, peerless +man,--this man who was as true to the backbone as that other man had +shown himself to be false; who was as sound as the other man had +proved himself to be rotten. A smile came across her face as she sat +looking at the fire, thinking of this. A man had loved her, whose +love was worth possessing. She hardly remembered whether or no she +had refused him or accepted him. She hardly asked herself what she +would do. As to all that it was necessary that she should have many +thoughts, but the necessity did not press upon her quite immediately. +For the present, at any rate, she might sit and triumph;--and thus +triumphant she sat there till the old nurse came in and told her that +her mother was waiting for her below. + + + + +CHAPTER XL. + +PREPARATIONS FOR THE WEDDING. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +The fourteenth of February was finally settled as the day on which +Mr. Crosbie was to be made the happiest of men. A later day had been +at first named, the twenty-seventh or twenty-eighth having been +suggested as an improvement over the first week in March; but Lady +Amelia had been frightened by Crosbie's behaviour on that Sunday +evening, and had made the countess understand that there should be no +unnecessary delay. "He doesn't scruple at that kind of thing," Lady +Amelia had said in one of her letters, showing perhaps less trust in +the potency of her own rank than might have been expected from her. +The countess, however, had agreed with her, and when Crosbie received +from his mother-in-law a very affectionate epistle, setting forth all +the reasons which would make the fourteenth so much more convenient +a day than the twenty-eighth, he was unable to invent an excuse for +not being made happy a fortnight earlier than the time named in the +bargain. His first impulse had been against yielding, arising from +some feeling which made him think that more than the bargain ought +not to be exacted. But what was the use to him of quarrelling? What +the use, at least, of quarrelling just then? He believed that he +could more easily enfranchise himself from the De Courcy tyranny when +he should be once married than he could do now. When Lady Alexandrina +should be his own he would let her know that he intended to be her +master. If in doing so it would be necessary that he should divide +himself altogether from the De Courcys, such division should be made. +At the present moment he would yield to them, at any rate in this +matter. And so the fourteenth of February was fixed for the marriage. + +In the second week in January Alexandrina came up to look after her +things; or, in more noble language, to fit herself with becoming +bridal appanages. As she could not properly do all this work alone, +or even under the surveillance and with the assistance of a sister, +Lady De Courcy was to come up also. But Alexandrina came first, +remaining with her sister in St. John's Wood till the countess should +arrive. The countess had never yet condescended to accept of her +son-in-law's hospitality, but always went to the cold, comfortless +house in Portman Square,--the house which had been the De Courcy town +family mansion for many years, and which the countess would long +since have willingly exchanged for some abode on the other side of +Oxford Street; but the earl had been obdurate; his clubs and certain +lodgings which he had occasionally been wont to occupy, were on the +right side of Oxford Street; why should he change his old family +residence? So the countess was coming up to Portman Square, not +having been even asked on this occasion to St. John's Wood. + +"Don't you think we'd better," Mr. Gazebee had said to his wife, +almost trembling at the renewal of his own proposition. + +"I think not, my dear," Lady Amelia had answered. "Mamma is not very +particular; but there are little things, you know--" + +"Oh, yes, of course," said Mr. Gazebee; and then the conversation +had been dropped. He would most willingly have entertained his +august mother-in-law during her visit to the metropolis, and yet her +presence in his house would have made him miserable as long as she +remained there. + +But for a week Alexandrina sojourned under Mr. Gazebee's roof, +during which time Crosbie was made happy with all the delights of an +expectant bridegroom. Of course he was given to understand that he +was to dine at the Gazebees' every day, and spend all his evenings +there; and, under the circumstances, he had no excuse for not doing +so. Indeed, at the present moment, his hours would otherwise have +hung heavily enough upon his hands. In spite of his bold resolution +with reference to his eye, and his intention not to be debarred from +the pleasures of society by the marks of the late combat, he had not, +since that occurrence, frequented his club very closely; and though +London was now again becoming fairly full, he did not find himself +going out so much as had been his wont. The brilliance of his coming +marriage did not seem to have added much to his popularity; in +fact, the world,--his world,--was beginning to look coldly at him. +Therefore that daily attendance at St. John's Wood was not felt to be +so irksome as might have been expected. + +A residence had been taken for the couple in a very fashionable row +of buildings abutting upon the Bayswater Road, called Princess Royal +Crescent. The house was quite new, and the street being unfinished +had about it a strong smell of mortar, and a general aspect of +builders' poles and brickbats; but nevertheless, it was acknowledged +to be a quite correct locality. From one end of the crescent a corner +of Hyde Park could be seen, and the other abutted on a very handsome +terrace indeed, in which lived an ambassador,--from South America,--a +few bankers' senior clerks, and a peer of the realm. We know how +vile is the sound of Baker Street, and how absolutely foul to the +polite ear is the name of Fitzroy Square. The houses, however, in +those purlieus are substantial, warm, and of good size. The house in +Princess Royal Crescent was certainly not substantial, for in these +days substantially-built houses do not pay. It could hardly have +been warm, for, to speak the truth, it was even yet not finished +throughout; and as for the size, though the drawing-room was a noble +apartment, consisting of a section of the whole house, with a corner +cut out for the staircase, it was very much cramped in its other +parts, and was made like a cherub, in this respect, that it had +no rear belonging to it. "But if you have no private fortune of +your own, you cannot have everything," as the countess observed +when Crosbie objected to the house because a closet under the +kitchen-stairs was to be assigned to him as his own dressing-room. + +When the question of the house was first debated, Lady Amelia had +been anxious that St. John's Wood should be selected as the site, but +to this Crosbie had positively objected. + +"I think you don't like St. John's Wood," Lady Amelia had said to +him somewhat sternly, thinking to awe him into a declaration that he +entertained no general enmity to the neighbourhood. But Crosbie was +not weak enough for this. + +"No; I do not," he said. "I have always disliked it. It amounts to a +prejudice, I daresay. But if I were made to live here I am convinced +I should cut my throat in the first six months." + +Lady Amelia had then drawn herself up, declaring her sorrow that her +house should be so hateful to him. + +"Oh, dear, no," said he. "I like it very much for you, and enjoy +coming here of all things. I speak only of the effect which living +here myself would have upon me." + +Lady Amelia was quite clever enough to understand it all; but she +had her sister's interest at heart, and therefore persevered in her +affectionate solicitude for her brother-in-law, giving up that point +as to St. John's Wood. Crosbie himself had wished to go to one of the +new Pimlico squares down near Vauxhall Bridge and the river, actuated +chiefly by consideration of the enormous distance lying between that +locality and the northern region in which Lady Amelia lived; but +to this Lady Alexandrina had objected strongly. If, indeed, they +could have achieved Eaton Square, or a street leading out of Eaton +Square,--if they could have crept on to the hem of the skirt of +Belgravia,--the bride would have been delighted. And at first she was +very nearly being taken in with the idea that such was the proposal +made to her. Her geographical knowledge of Pimlico had not been +perfect, and she had nearly fallen into a fatal error. But a friend +had kindly intervened. "For heaven's sake, my dear, don't let him +take you anywhere beyond Eccleston Square!" had been exclaimed to her +in dismay by a faithful married friend. Thus warned, Alexandrina had +been firm, and now their tent was to be pitched in Princess Royal +Crescent, from one end of which the Hyde Park may be seen. + +The furniture had been ordered chiefly under the inspection, and by +the experience, of the Lady Amelia. Crosbie had satisfied himself +by declaring that she at any rate could get the things cheaper than +he could buy them, and that he had no taste for such employment. +Nevertheless, he had felt that he was being made subject to tyranny +and brought under the thumb of subjection. He could not go cordially +into this matter of beds and chairs, and, therefore, at last deputed +the whole matter to the De Courcy faction. And for this there was +another reason, not hitherto mentioned. Mr. Mortimer Gazebee was +finding the money with which all the furniture was being bought. +He, with an honest but almost unintelligible zeal for the De Courcy +family, had tied up every shilling on which he could lay his hand +as belonging to Crosbie, in the interest of Lady Alexandrina. +He had gone to work for her, scraping here and arranging there, +strapping the new husband down upon the grindstone of his matrimonial +settlement, as though the future bread of his, Gazebee's, own +children were dependent on the validity of his legal workmanship. +And for this he was not to receive a penny, or gain any advantage, +immediate or ulterior. It came from his zeal,--his zeal for the +coronet which Lord De Courcy wore. According to his mind an earl and +an earl's belongings were entitled to such zeal. It was the theory +in which he had been educated, and amounted to a worship which, +unconsciously, he practised. Personally, he disliked Lord De Courcy, +who ill-treated him. He knew that the earl was a heartless, cruel, +bad man. But as an earl he was entitled to an amount of service +which no commoner could have commanded from Mr. Gazebee. Mr. Gazebee, +having thus tied up all the available funds in favour of Lady +Alexandrina's seemingly expected widowhood, was himself providing the +money with which the new house was to be furnished. "You can pay me a +hundred and fifty a year with four per cent. till it is liquidated," +he had said to Crosbie; and Crosbie had assented with a grunt. +Hitherto, though he had lived in London expensively, and as a man +of fashion, he had never owed any one anything. He was now to begin +that career of owing. But when a clerk in a public office marries an +earl's daughter, he cannot expect to have everything his own way. + +Lady Amelia had bought the ordinary furniture--the beds, the +stair-carpets, the washing-stands, and the kitchen things. +Gazebee had got a bargain of the dinner-table and sideboard. But +Lady Alexandrina herself was to come up with reference to the +appurtenances of the drawing-room. It was with reference to matters +of costume that the countess intended to lend her assistance--matters +of costume as to which the bill could not be sent in to Gazebee, +and be paid for by him with five per cent. duly charged against the +bridegroom. The bridal trousseau must be produced by De Courcy's +means, and, therefore, it was necessary that the countess herself +should come upon the scene. "I will have no bills, d'ye hear?" +snarled the earl, gnashing and snapping upon his words with one +specially ugly black tooth. "I won't have any bills about this +affair." And yet he made no offer of ready money. It was very +necessary under such circumstances that the countess herself should +come upon the scene. An ambiguous hint had been conveyed to Mr. +Gazebee, during a visit of business which he had lately made to +Courcy Castle, that the milliner's bills might as well be pinned +on to those of the furniture-makers, the crockery-mongers, and the +like. The countess, putting it in her own way, had gently suggested +that the fashion of the thing had changed lately, and that such +an arrangement was considered to be the proper thing among people +who lived really in the world. But Gazebee was a clear-headed, +honest man; and he knew the countess. He did not think that such an +arrangement could be made on the present occasion. Whereupon the +countess pushed her suggestion no further, but made up her mind that +she must come up to London herself. + +It was pleasant to see the Ladies Amelia and Alexandrina, as they sat +within a vast emporium of carpets in Bond Street, asking questions of +the four men who were waiting upon them, putting their heads together +and whispering, calculating accurately as to extra twopences a yard, +and occasioning as much trouble as it was possible for them to give. +It was pleasant because they managed their large hoops cleverly among +the huge rolls of carpets, because they were enjoying themselves +thoroughly, and taking to themselves the homage of the men as clearly +their due. But it was not so pleasant to look at Crosbie, who was +fidgeting to get away to his office, to whom no power of choosing +in the matter was really given, and whom the men regarded as being +altogether supernumerary. The ladies had promised to be at the +shop by half-past ten, so that Crosbie should reach his office at +eleven--or a little after. But it was nearly eleven before they left +the Gazebee residence, and it was very evident that half-an-hour +among the carpets would be by no means sufficient. It seemed as +though miles upon miles of gorgeous colouring were unrolled before +them; and then when any pattern was regarded as at all practicable, +it was unrolled backwards and forwards till a room was nearly covered +by it. Crosbie felt for the men who were hauling about the huge heaps +of material; but Lady Amelia sat as composed as though it were her +duty to inspect every yard of stuff in the warehouse. "I think we'll +look at that one at the bottom again." Then the men went to work and +removed a mountain. "No, my dear, that green in the scroll-work won't +do. It would fly directly, if any hot water were spilt." The man +smiling ineffably, declared that that particular green never flew +anywhere. But Lady Amelia paid no attention to him, and the carpet +for which the mountain had been removed became part of another +mountain. + +"That might do," said Alexandrina, gazing upon a magnificent crimson +ground through which rivers of yellow meandered, carrying with them +in their streams an infinity of blue flowers. And as she spoke she +held her head gracefully on one side, and looked down upon the carpet +doubtingly. Lady Amelia poked it with her parasol as though to test +its durability, and whispered something about yellows showing the +dirt. Crosbie took out his watch and groaned. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "That might do."] + + +"It's a superb carpet, my lady, and about the newest thing we have. +We put down four hundred and fifty yards of it for the Duchess of +South Wales, at Cwddglwlch Castle, only last month. Nobody has had +it since, for it has not been in stock." Whereupon Lady Amelia again +poked it, and then got up and walked upon it. Lady Alexandrina held +her head a little more on one side. + +"Five and three?" said Lady Amelia. + +"Oh, no, my lady; five and seven; and the cheapest carpet we have +in the house. There is twopence a yard more in the colour; there is, +indeed." + +"And the discount?" asked Lady Amelia. + +"Two and a half, my lady." + +"Oh dear, no," said Lady Amelia. "I always have five per cent. for +immediate payment--quite immediate, you know." Upon which the man +declared the question must be referred to his master. Two and a half +was the rule of the house. Crosbie, who had been looking out of the +window, said that upon his honour he couldn't wait any longer. + +"And what do you think of it, Adolphus?" asked Alexandrina. + +"Think of what?" + +"Of the carpet--this one, you know!" + +"Oh--what do I think of the carpet? I don't think I quite like all +these yellow bands; and isn't it too red? I should have thought +something brown with a small pattern would have been better. But, +upon my word, I don't much care." + +"Of course he doesn't," said Lady Amelia. Then the two ladies put +their heads together for another five minutes, and the carpet was +chosen--subject to that question of the discount. "And now about the +rug," said Lady Amelia. But here Crosbie rebelled, and insisted that +he must leave them and go to his office. "You can't want me about +the rug," he said. "Well, perhaps not," said Lady Amelia. But it was +manifest that Alexandrina did not approve of being thus left by her +male attendant. + +The same thing happened in Oxford Street with reference to the chairs +and sofas, and Crosbie began to wish that he were settled, even +though he should have to dress himself in the closet below the +kitchen-stairs. He was learning to hate the whole household in St. +John's Wood, and almost all that belonged to it. He was introduced +there to little family economies of which hitherto he had known +nothing, and which were disgusting to him, and the necessity for +which was especially explained to him. It was to men placed as he +was about to place himself that these economies were so vitally +essential--to men who with limited means had to maintain a decorous +outward face towards the fashionable world. Ample supplies of +butchers' meat and unlimited washing-bills might be very well upon +fifteen hundred a year to those who went out but seldom, and who +could use the first cab that came to hand when they did go out. +But there were certain things that Lady Alexandrina must do, and +therefore the strictest household economy became necessary. Would +Lily Dale have required the use of a carriage, got up to look as +though it were private, at the expense of her husband's beefsteaks +and clean shirts? That question and others of that nature were asked +by Crosbie within his own mind, not unfrequently. + +But, nevertheless, he tried to love Alexandrina, or rather to +persuade himself that he loved her. If he could only get her away +from the De Courcy faction, and especially from the Gazebee branch +of it, he would break her of all that. He would teach her to sit +triumphantly in a street cab, and to cater for her table with a +plentiful hand. Teach her!--at some age over thirty; and with such +careful training as she had already received! Did he intend to forbid +her ever again to see her relations, ever to go to St. John's Wood, +or to correspond with the countess and Lady Margaretta? Teach her, +indeed! Had he yet to learn that he could not wash a blackamoor +white?--that he could not have done so even had he himself been +well adapted for the attempt, whereas he was in truth nearly as ill +adapted as a man might be? But who could pity him? Lily, whom he +might have had in his bosom, would have been no blackamoor. + +Then came the time of Lady De Courcy's visit to town, and Alexandrina +moved herself off to Portman Square. There was some apparent comfort +in this to Crosbie, for he would thereby be saved from those daily +dreary journeys up to the north-west. I may say that he positively +hated that windy corner near the church, round which he had to walk +in getting to the Gazebee residence, and that he hated the lamp which +guided him to the door, and the very door itself. This door stood +buried as it were in a wall, and opened on to a narrow passage which +ran across a so-called garden, or front yard, containing on each side +two iron receptacles for geraniums, painted to look like Palissy +ware, and a naked female on a pedestal. No spot in London was, as he +thought, so cold as the bit of pavement immediately in front of that +door. And there he would be kept five, ten, fifteen minutes, as he +declared--though I believe in my heart that the time never exceeded +three,--while Richard was putting off the trappings of his work and +putting on the trappings of his grandeur. + +If people would only have their doors opened to you by such +assistance as may come most easily and naturally to the work! I stood +lately for some minutes on a Tuesday afternoon at a gallant portal, +and as I waxed impatient a pretty maiden came and opened it. She +was a pretty maiden, though her hands and face and apron told tales +of the fire-grates. "Laws, sir," she said, "the visitors' day is +Wednesday; and if you would come then, there would be the man in +livery!" She took my card with the corner of her apron, and did just +as well as the man in livery; but what would have happened to her had +her little speech been overheard by her mistress? + +Crosbie hated the house in St. John's Wood, and therefore the coming +of the countess was a relief to him. Portman Square was easily to be +reached, and the hospitalities of the countess would not be pressed +upon him so strongly as those of the Gazebees. When he first called +he was shown into the great family dining-room, which looked out +towards the back of the house. The front windows were, of course, +closed, as the family was not supposed to be in London. Here he +remained in the room for some quarter of an hour, and then the +countess descended upon him in all her grandeur. Perhaps he had never +before seen her so grand. Her dress was very large, and rustled +through the broad doorway, as if demanding even a broader passage. +She had on a wonder of a bonnet, and a velvet mantle that was nearly +as expansive as her petticoats. She threw her head a little back as +she accosted him, and he instantly perceived that he was enveloped +in the fumes of an affectionate but somewhat contemptuous patronage. +In old days he had liked the countess, because her manner to him had +always been flattering. In his intercourse with her he had been able +to feel that he gave quite as much as he got, and that the countess +was aware of the fact. In all the circumstances of their acquaintance +the ascendancy had been with him, and therefore the acquaintance had +been a pleasant one. The countess had been a good-natured, agreeable +woman, whose rank and position had made her house pleasant to him; +and therefore he had consented to shine upon her with such light as +he had to give. Why was it that the matter was reversed, now that +there was so much stronger a cause for good feeling between them? He +knew that there was such change, and with bitter internal upbraidings +he acknowledged to himself that this woman was getting the mastery +over him. As the friend of the countess he had been a great man in +her eyes;--in all her little words and looks she had acknowledged his +power; but now, as her son-in-law, he was to become a very little +man,--such as was Mortimer Gazebee! + +"My dear Adolphus," she said, taking both his hands, "the day is +coming very near now; is it not?" + +"Very near, indeed," he said. + +"Yes, it is very near. I hope you feel yourself a happy man." + +"Oh, yes, that's of course." + +"It ought to be. Speaking very seriously, I mean that it ought to be +a matter of course. She is everything that a man should desire in a +wife. I am not alluding now to her rank, though of course you feel +what a great advantage she gives you in this respect." + +Crosbie muttered something as to his consciousness of having drawn a +prize in the lottery; but he so muttered it as not to convey to the +lady's ears a proper sense of his dependent gratitude. "I know of no +man more fortunate than you have been," she continued; "and I hope +that my dear girl will find that you are fully aware that it is so. +I think that she is looking rather fagged. You have allowed her to do +more than was good for her in the way of shopping." + +"She has done a good deal, certainly," said Crosbie. + +"She is so little used to anything of that kind! But of course, as +things have turned out, it was necessary that she should see to these +things herself." + +"I rather think she liked it," said Crosbie. + +"I believe she will always like doing her duty. We are just going now +to Madame Millefranc's, to see some silks;--perhaps you would wish to +go with us?" + +Just at this moment Alexandrina came into the room, and looked as +though she were in all respects a smaller edition of her mother. +They were both well-grown women, with handsome, large figures, and a +certain air about them which answered almost for beauty. As to the +countess, her face, on close inspection, bore, as it was entitled +to do, deep signs of age; but she so managed her face that any such +close inspection was never made; and her general appearance for her +time of life was certainly good. Very little more than this could be +said in favour of her daughter. + +"Oh dear, no, mamma," she said, having heard her mother's last words. +"He's the worst person in a shop in the world. He likes nothing, and +dislikes nothing. Do you, Adolphus?" + +"Indeed I do. I like all the cheap things, and dislike all the dear +things." + +"Then you certainly shall not go with us to Madame Millefranc's," +said Alexandrina. + +"It would not matter to him there, you know, my dear," said the +countess, thinking perhaps of the suggestion she had lately made to +Mr. Gazebee. + +On this occasion Crosbie managed to escape, simply promising to +return to Portman Square in the evening after dinner. "By-the-by, +Adolphus," said the countess, as he handed her into the hired +carriage which stood at the door, "I wish you would go to Lambert's, +on Ludgate Hill, for me. He has had a bracelet of mine for nearly +three months. Do, there's a good creature. Get it if you can, and +bring it up this evening." + +Crosbie, as he made his way back to his office, swore that he would +not do the bidding of the countess. He would not trudge off into +the city after her trinkets. But at five o'clock, when he left his +office, he did go there. He apologized to himself by saying that he +had nothing else to do, and bethought himself that at the present +moment his lady mother-in-law's smiles might be more convenient than +her frowns. So he went to Lambert's, on Ludgate Hill, and there +learned that the bracelet had been sent down to Courcy Castle full +two months since. + +After that he dined at his club, at Sebright's. He dined alone, +sitting by no means in bliss with his half-pint of sherry on the +table before him. A man now and then came up and spoke to him, one a +few words, and another a few, and two or three congratulated him as +to his marriage; but the club was not the same thing to him as it had +formerly been. He did not stand in the centre of the rug, speaking +indifferently to all or any around him, ready with his joke, and +loudly on the alert with the last news of the day. How easy it is to +be seen when any man has fallen from his pride of place, though the +altitude was ever so small, and the fall ever so slight. Where is the +man who can endure such a fall without showing it in his face, in his +voice, in his step, and in every motion of every limb? Crosbie knew +that he had fallen, and showed that he knew it by the manner in which +he ate his mutton chop. + +At half-past eight he was again in Portman Square, and found the +two ladies crowding over a small fire in a small back drawing-room. +The furniture was all covered with brown holland, and the place +had about it that cold comfortless feeling which uninhabited rooms +always produce. Crosbie, as he had walked from the club up to Portman +Square, had indulged in some serious thoughts. The kind of life which +he had hitherto led had certainly passed away from him. He could +never again be the pet of a club, or indulged as one to whom all good +things were to be given without any labour at earning them on his own +part. Such for some years had been his good fortune, but such could +be his good fortune no longer. Was there anything within his reach +which he might take in lieu of that which he had lost? He might still +be victorious at his office, having more capacity for such victory +than others around him. But such success alone would hardly suffice +for him. Then he considered whether he might not even yet be happy in +his own home,--whether Alexandrina, when separated from her mother, +might not become such a wife as he could love. Nothing softens a +man's feelings so much as failure, or makes him turn so anxiously +to an idea of home as buffetings from those he meets abroad. He +had abandoned Lily because his outer world had seemed to him too +bright to be deserted. He would endeavour to supply her place with +Alexandrina, because his outer world had seemed to him too harsh to +be supported. Alas! alas! a man cannot so easily repent of his sins, +and wash himself white from their stains! + +When he entered the room the two ladies were sitting over the fire, +as I have stated, and Crosbie could immediately perceive that the +spirit of the countess was not serene. In fact there had been a few +words between the mother and child on that matter of the trousseau, +and Alexandrina had plainly told her mother that if she were to be +married at all she would be married with such garments belonging to +her as were fitting for an earl's daughter. It was in vain that her +mother had explained with many circumlocutional phrases, that the +fitness in this respect should be accommodated rather to the plebeian +husband than to the noble parent. Alexandrina had been very firm, and +had insisted on her rights, giving the countess to understand that if +her orders for finery were not complied with, she would return as a +spinster to Courcy, and prepare herself for partnership with Rosina. + +"My dear," said the countess, piteously, "you can have no idea of +what I shall have to go through with your father. And, of course, you +could get all these things afterwards." + +"Papa has no right to treat me in such a way. And if he would not +give me any money himself, he should have let me have some of my +own." + +"Ah, my dear, that was Mr. Gazebee's fault." + +"I don't care whose fault it was. It certainly was not mine. I +won't have him to tell me"--"him" was intended to signify Adolphus +Crosbie--"that he had to pay for my wedding-clothes." + +"Of course not that, my dear." + +"No; nor yet for the things which I wanted immediately. I'd much +rather go and tell him at once that the marriage must be put off." + +Alexandrina of course carried her point, the countess reflecting with +a maternal devotion equal almost to that of the pelican, that the +earl could not do more than kill her. So the things were ordered as +Alexandrina chose to order them, and the countess desired that the +bills might be sent in to Mr. Gazebee. Much self-devotion had been +displayed by the mother, but the mother thought that none had been +displayed by the daughter, and therefore she had been very cross with +Alexandrina. + +Crosbie, taking a chair, sat himself between them, and in a very +good-humoured tone explained the little affair of the bracelet. "Your +ladyship's memory must have played you false," said he, with a smile. + +"My memory is very good," said the countess; "very good indeed. If +Twitch got it, and didn't tell me, that was not my fault." Twitch was +her ladyship's lady's-maid. Crosbie, seeing how the land lay, said +nothing more about the bracelet. + +After a minute or two he put out his hand to take that of +Alexandrina. They were to be married now in a week or two, and such a +sign of love might have been allowed to him, even in the presence of +the bride's mother. He did succeed in getting hold of her fingers, +but found in them none of the softness of a response. "Don't," said +Lady Alexandrina, withdrawing her hand; and the tone of her voice as +she spoke the word was not sweet to his ears. He remembered at the +moment a certain scene which took place one evening at the little +bridge at Allington, and Lily's voice, and Lily's words, and Lily's +passion, as he caressed her: "Oh, my love, my love, my love!" + +"My dear," said the countess, "they know how tired I am. I wonder +whether they are going to give us any tea." Whereupon Crosbie rang +the bell, and, on resuming his chair, moved it a little farther away +from his lady-love. + +Presently the tea was brought to them by the housekeeper's assistant, +who did not appear to have made herself very smart for the occasion, +and Crosbie thought that he was _de trop_. This, however, was a +mistake on his part. As he had been admitted into the family, such +little matters were no longer subject of care. Two or three months +since, the countess would have fainted at the idea of such a domestic +appearing with a tea-tray before Mr. Crosbie. Now, however, she +was utterly indifferent to any such consideration. Crosbie was to +be admitted into the family, thereby becoming entitled to certain +privileges,--and thereby also becoming subject to certain domestic +drawbacks. In Mrs. Dale's little household there had been no rising +to grandeur; but then, also, there had never been any bathos of dirt. +Of this also Crosbie thought as he sat with his tea in his hand. + +He soon, however, got himself away. When he rose to go Alexandrina +also rose, and he was permitted to press his nose against her +cheekbone by way of a salute. + +"Good-night, Adolphus," said the countess, putting out her hand to +him. "But stop a minute; I know there is something I want you to +do for me. But you will look in as you go to your office to-morrow +morning." + + + + +CHAPTER XLI. + +DOMESTIC TROUBLES. + + +When Crosbie was making his ineffectual inquiry after Lady De +Courcy's bracelet at Lambert's, John Eames was in the act of entering +Mrs. Roper's front door in Burton Crescent. + +"Oh, John, where's Mr. Cradell?" were the first words which greeted +him, and they were spoken by the divine Amelia. Now, in her usual +practice of life, Amelia did not interest herself much as to the +whereabouts of Mr. Cradell. + +"Where's Cradell?" said Eames, repeating the question. "Upon my word, +I don't know. I walked to the office with him, but I haven't seen him +since. We don't sit in the same room, you know." + +"John!" and then she stopped. + +"What's up now?" said John. + +"John! That woman's off and left her husband. As sure as your name's +John Eames, that foolish fellow has gone off with her." + +"What, Cradell? I don't believe it." + +"She went out of this house at two o'clock in the afternoon, and has +never been back since." That, certainly, was only four hours from +the present time, and such an absence from home in the middle of +the day was but weak evidence on which to charge a married woman +with the great sin of running off with a lover. This Amelia felt, +and therefore she went on to explain. "He's there upstairs in the +drawing-room, the very picture of disconsolateness." + +"Who,--Cradell?" + +"Lupex is. He's been drinking a little, I'm afraid; but he's very +unhappy, indeed. He had an appointment to meet his wife here at four +o'clock, and when he came he found her gone. He rushed up into their +room, and now he says she has broken open a box he had and taken off +all his money." + +"But he never had any money." + +"He paid mother some the day before yesterday." + +"That's just the reason he shouldn't have any to-day." + +"She certainly has taken things she wouldn't have taken if she'd +merely gone out shopping or anything like that, for I've been up in +the room and looked about it. She'd three necklaces. They weren't +much account; but she must have them all on, or else have got them in +her pocket." + +"Cradell has never gone off with her in that way. He may be a fool--" + +"Oh, he is, you know. I've never seen such a fool about a woman as he +has been." + +"But he wouldn't be a party to stealing a lot of trumpery trinkets, +or taking her husband's money. Indeed, I don't think he has anything +to do with it." Then Eames thought over the circumstances of the +day, and remembered that he had certainly not seen Cradell since +the morning. It was that public servant's practice to saunter into +Eames's room in the middle of the day, and there consume bread and +cheese and beer,--in spite of an assertion which Johnny had once made +as to crumbs of biscuit bathed in ink. But on this special day he had +not done so. "I can't think he has been such a fool as that," said +Johnny. + +"But he has," said Amelia. "It's dinner-time now, and where is he? +Had he any money left, Johnny?" + +So interrogated, Eames disclosed a secret confided to him by his +friend which no other circumstances would have succeeded in dragging +from his breast. + +"She borrowed twelve pounds from him about a fortnight since, +immediately after quarter-day. And she owed him money, too, before +that." + +"Oh, what a soft!" exclaimed Amelia; "and he hasn't paid mother a +shilling for the last two months!" + +"It was his money, perhaps, that Mrs. Roper got from Lupex the day +before yesterday. If so, it comes to the same thing as far as she is +concerned, you know." + +"And what are we to do now?" said Amelia, as she went before her +lover upstairs. "Oh, John, what will become of me if ever you serve +me in that way? What should I do if you were to go off with another +lady?" + +"Lupex hasn't gone off," said Eames, who hardly knew what to say +when the matter was brought before him with so closely personal a +reference. + +"But it's the same thing," said Amelia. "Hearts is divided. Hearts +that have been joined together ought never to be divided; ought +they?" And then she hung upon his arm just as they got to the +drawing-room door. + +"Hearts and darts are all my eye," said Johnny. "My belief is that +a man had better never marry at all. How d'you do, Mr. Lupex? Is +anything the matter?" + +Mr. Lupex was seated on a chair in the middle of the room, and was +leaning with his head over the back of it. So despondent was he in +his attitude that his head would have fallen off and rolled on to the +floor, had it followed the course which its owner seemed to intend +that it should take. His hands hung down also along the back legs of +the chair, till his fingers almost touched the ground, and altogether +his appearance was pendent, drooping, and wobegone. Miss Spruce +was seated in one corner of the room, with her hands folded in her +lap before her, and Mrs. Roper was standing on the rug with a look +of severe virtue on her brow,--of virtue which, to judge by its +appearance, was very severe. Nor was its severity intended to be +exercised solely against Mrs. Lupex. Mrs. Roper was becoming very +tired of Mr. Lupex also, and would not have been unhappy if he also +had run away,--leaving behind him so much of his property as would +have paid his bill. + +Mr. Lupex did not stir when first addressed by John Eames, but a +certain convulsive movement was to be seen on the back of his head, +indicating that this new arrival in the drawing-room had produced +a fresh accession of agony. The chair, too, quivered under him, and +his fingers stretched themselves nearer to the ground and shook +themselves. + +"Mr. Lupex, we're going to dinner immediately," said Mrs. Roper. "Mr. +Eames, where is your friend, Mr. Cradell?" + +"Upon my word I don't know," said Eames. + +"But I know," said Lupex, jumping up and standing at his full height, +while he knocked down the chair which had lately supported him. "The +traitor to domestic bliss! I know. And wherever he is, he has that +false woman in his arms. Would he were here!" And as he expressed +the last wish he went through a motion with his hands and arms which +seemed intended to signify that if that unfortunate young man were in +the company he would pull him in pieces and double him up, and pack +him close, and then despatch his remains off, through infinite space, +to the Prince of Darkness. "Traitor," he exclaimed, as he finished +the process. "False traitor! Foul traitor! And she too!" Then, as he +thought of this softer side of the subject, he prepared himself to +relapse again on to the chair. Finding it on the ground he had to +pick it up. He did pick it up, and once more flung away his head over +the back of it, and stretched his finger-nails almost down to the +carpet. + +"James," said Mrs. Roper to her son, who was now in the room, "I +think you'd better stay with Mr. Lupex while we are at dinner. Come, +Miss Spruce, I'm very sorry that you should be annoyed by this kind +of thing." + +"It don't hurt me," said Miss Spruce, preparing to leave the room. +"I'm only an old woman." + +"Annoyed!" said Lupex, raising himself again from his chair, not +perhaps altogether disposed to remain upstairs while the dinner, for +which it was intended that he should some day pay, was being eaten +below. "Annoyed! It is a profound sorrow to me that any lady should +be annoyed by my misfortunes. As regards Miss Spruce, I look upon her +character with profound veneration." + +"You needn't mind me; I'm only an old woman," said Miss Spruce. + +"But, by heavens, I do mind!" exclaimed Lupex; and hurrying forward +he seized Miss Spruce by the hand. "I shall always regard age as +entitled--" But the special privileges which Mr. Lupex would have +accorded to age were never made known to the inhabitants of Mrs. +Roper's boarding-house, for the door of the room was again opened at +this moment, and Mr. Cradell entered. + +"Here you are, old fellow, to answer for yourself," said Eames. + +Cradell, who had heard something as he came in at the front door, +but had not heard that Lupex was in the drawing-room, made a slight +start backwards when he saw that gentleman's face. "Upon my word and +honour," he began;--but he was able to carry his speech no further. +Lupex, dropping the hand of the elderly lady whom he reverenced, was +upon him in an instant, and Cradell was shaking beneath his grasp +like an aspen leaf,--or rather not like an aspen leaf, unless an +aspen leaf when shaken is to be seen with its eyes shut, its mouth +open, and its tongue hanging out. + +"Come, I say," said Eames, stepping forward to his friend's +assistance; "this won't do at all, Mr. Lupex. You've been drinking. +You'd better wait till to-morrow morning, and speak to Cradell then." + +"To-morrow morning, viper," shouted Lupex, still holding his prey, +but looking back at Eames over his shoulder. Who the viper was had +not been clearly indicated. "When will he restore to me my wife? When +will he restore to me my honour?" + +"Upon-on-on-on my--" It was for the moment in vain that poor Mr. +Cradell endeavoured to asseverate his innocence, and to stake his +honour upon his own purity as regarded Mrs. Lupex. Lupex still held +to his enemy's cravat, though Eames had now got him by the arm, and +so far impeded his movements as to hinder him from proceeding to any +graver attack. + +"Jemima, Jemima, Jemima!" shouted Mrs. Roper. "Run for the police; +run for the police!" But Amelia, who had more presence of mind than +her mother, stopped Jemima as she was making to one of the front +windows. "Keep where you are," said Amelia. "They'll come quiet in a +minute or two." And Amelia no doubt was right. Calling for the police +when there is a row in the house is like summoning the water-engines +when the soot is on fire in the kitchen chimney. In such cases good +management will allow the soot to burn itself out, without aid from +the water-engines. In the present instance the police were not called +in, and I am inclined to think that their presence would not have +been advantageous to any of the party. + +"Upon-my-honour--I know nothing about her," were the first words +which Cradell was able to articulate, when Lupex, under Eames's +persuasion, at last relaxed his hold. + +Lupex turned round to Miss Spruce with a sardonic grin. "You hear his +words,--this enemy to domestic bliss,--Ha, ha! man, tell me whither +you have conveyed my wife!" + +"If you were to give me the Bank of England I don't know," said +Cradell. + +"And I'm sure he does not know," said Mrs. Roper, whose suspicions +against Cradell were beginning to subside. But as her suspicions +subsided, her respect for him decreased. Such was the case also with +Miss Spruce, and with Amelia, and with Jemima. They had all thought +him to be a great fool for running away with Mrs. Lupex, but now +they were beginning to think him a poor creature because he had not +done so. Had he committed that active folly he would have been an +interesting fool. But now, if, as they all suspected, he knew no +more about Mrs. Lupex than they did, he would be a fool without any +special interest whatever. + +"Of course he doesn't," said Eames. + +"No more than I do," said Amelia. + +"His very looks show him innocent," said Mrs. Roper. + +"Indeed they do," said Miss Spruce. + +Lupex turned from one to the other as they thus defended the man +whom he suspected, and shook his head at each assertion that was +made. "And if he doesn't know who does?" he asked. "Haven't I seen +it all for the last three months? Is it reasonable to suppose that +a creature such as she, used to domestic comforts all her life, +should have gone off in this way, at dinner-time, taking with her my +property and all her jewels, and that nobody should have instigated +her; nobody assisted her! Is that a story to tell to such a man as +me! You may tell it to the marines!" Mr. Lupex, as he made this +speech, was walking about the room, and as he finished it he threw +his pocket-handkerchief with violence on to the floor. "I know what +to do, Mrs. Roper," he said. "I know what steps to take. I shall put +the affair into the hands of my lawyer to-morrow morning." Then he +picked up his handkerchief and walked down into the dining-room. + +"Of course you know nothing about it?" said Eames to his friend, +having run upstairs for the purpose of saying a word to him while he +washed his hands. + +"What,--about Maria? I don't know where she is, if you mean that." + +"Of course I mean that. What else should I mean? And what makes you +call her Maria?" + +"It is wrong. I admit it's wrong. The word will come out, you know." + +"Will come out! I'll tell you what it is, old fellow, you'll get +yourself into a mess, and all for nothing. That fellow will have you +up before the police for stealing his things--" + +"But, Johnny--" + +"I know all about it. Of course you have not stolen them, and of +course there was nothing to steal. But if you go on calling her Maria +you'll find that he'll have a pull on you. Men don't call other men's +wives names for nothing." + +"Of course we've been friends," said Cradell, who rather liked this +view of the matter. + +"Yes,--you have been friends! She's diddled you out of your money, +and that's the beginning and the end of it. And now, if you go on +showing off your friendship, you'll be done out of more money. You're +making an ass of yourself. That's the long and the short of it." + +"And what have you made of yourself with that girl? There are worse +asses than I am yet, Master Johnny." Eames, as he had no answer ready +to this counter attack, left the room and went downstairs. Cradell +soon followed him, and in a few minutes they were all eating their +dinner together at Mrs. Roper's hospitable table. + +Immediately after dinner Lupex took himself away, and the +conversation upstairs became general on the subject of the lady's +departure. + +"If I was him I'd never ask a question about her, but let her go," +said Amelia. + +"Yes; and then have all her bills following you, wherever you went," +said Amelia's brother. + +"I'd sooner have her bills than herself," said Eames. + +"My belief is, that she's been an ill-used woman," said Cradell. "If +she had a husband that she could respect and have loved, and all that +sort of thing, she would have been a charming woman." + +"She's every bit as bad as he is," said Mrs. Roper. + +"I can't agree with you, Mrs. Roper," continued the lady's champion. +"Perhaps I ought to understand her position better than any one here, +and--" + +"Then that's just what you ought not to do, Mr. Cradell," said Mrs. +Roper. And now the lady of the house spoke out her mind with much +maternal dignity and with some feminine severity. "That's just what +a young man like you has no business to know. What's a married +woman like that to you, or you to her; or what have you to do with +understanding her position? When you've a wife of your own, if ever +you do have one, you'll find you'll have trouble enough then without +anybody else interfering with you. Not but what I believe you're +innocent as a lamb about Mrs. Lupex; that is, as far as any harm +goes. But you've got yourself into all this trouble by meddling, and +was like enough to get yourself choked upstairs by that man. And +who's to wonder when you go on pretending to be in love with a woman +in that way, and she old enough to be your mother? What would your +mamma say if she saw you at it?" + +"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Cradell. + +"It's all very well your laughing, but I hate such folly. If I see a +young man in love with a young woman, I respect him for it;" and then +she looked at Johnny Eames. "I respect him for it,--even though he +may now and then do things as he shouldn't. They most of 'em does +that. But to see a young man like you, Mr. Cradell, dangling after an +old married woman, who doesn't know how to behave herself; and all +just because she lets him to do it;--ugh!--an old broomstick with a +petticoat on would do just as well! It makes me sick to see it, and +that's the truth of it. I don't call it manly; and it ain't manly, is +it, Miss Spruce?" + +"Of course I know nothing about it," said the lady to whom the appeal +was thus made. "But a young gentleman should keep himself to himself +till the time comes for him to speak out,--begging your pardon all +the same, Mr. Cradell." + +"I don't see what a married woman should want with any one after her +but her own husband," said Amelia. + +"And perhaps not always that," said John Eames. + +It was about an hour after this when the front-door bell was rung, +and a scream from Jemima announced to them all that some critical +moment had arrived. Amelia, jumping up, opened the door, and then the +rustle of a woman's dress was heard on the lower stairs. "Oh, laws, +ma'am, you have given us sich a turn," said Jemima. "We all thought +you was run away." + +"It's Mrs. Lupex," said Amelia. And in two minutes more that ill-used +lady was in the room. + +"Well, my dears," said she, gaily, "I hope nobody has waited dinner." + +"No; we didn't wait dinner," said Mrs. Roper, very gravely. + +"And where's my Orson? Didn't he dine at home? Mr. Cradell, will you +oblige me by taking my shawl? But perhaps you had better not. People +are so censorious; ain't they, Miss Spruce? Mr. Eames shall do it; +and everybody knows that that will be quite safe. Won't it, Miss +Amelia?" + +"Quite, I should think," said Amelia. And Mrs. Lupex knew that she +was not to look for an ally in that quarter on the present occasion. +Eames got up to take the shawl, and Mrs. Lupex went on. + +"And didn't Orson dine at home? Perhaps they kept him down at the +theatre. But I've been thinking all day what fun it would be when he +thought his bird was flown." + +"He did dine at home," said Mrs. Roper; "and he didn't seem to like +it. There wasn't much fun, I can assure you." + +"Ah, wasn't there, though? I believe that man would like to have me +tied to his button-hole. I came across a few friends,--lady friends, +Mr. Cradell, though two of them had their husbands; so we made a +party, and just went down to Hampton Court. So my gentleman has gone +again, has he? That's what I get for gadding about myself, isn't it, +Miss Spruce?" + +Mrs. Roper, as she went to bed that night, made up her mind that, +whatever might be the cost and trouble of doing so, she would lose no +further time in getting rid of her married guests. + + + + +CHAPTER XLII. + +LILY'S BEDSIDE. + + +Lily Dale's constitution was good, and her recovery was retarded by +no relapse or lingering debility; but, nevertheless, she was forced +to keep her bed for many days after the fever had left her. During +all this period Dr. Crofts came every day. It was in vain that Mrs. +Dale begged him not to do so; telling him in simple words that she +felt herself bound not to accept from him all this continuation of +his unremunerated labours now that the absolute necessity for them +was over. He answered her only by little jokes, or did not answer her +at all; but still he came daily, almost always at the same hour, just +as the day was waning, so that he could sit for a quarter of an hour +in the dusk, and then ride home to Guestwick in the dark. At this +time Bell had been admitted into her sister's room, and she would +always meet Dr. Crofts at Lily's bedside; but she never sat with +him alone, since the day on which he had offered her his love with +half-articulated words, and she had declined it with words also +half-articulated. She had seen him alone since that, on the stairs, +or standing in the hall, but she had not remained with him, talking +to him after her old fashion, and no further word of his love had +been spoken in speech either half or wholly articulate. + +Nor had Bell spoken of what had passed to any one else. Lily would +probably have told both her mother and sister instantly; but then no +such scene as that which had taken place with Bell would have been +possible with Lily. In whatever way the matter might have gone with +her, there would certainly have been some clear tale to tell when +the interview was over. She would have known whether or no she loved +the man, or could love him, and would have given him some true and +intelligible answer. Bell had not done so, but had given him an +answer which, if true, was not intelligible, and if intelligible was +not true. And yet, when she had gone away to think over what had +passed, she had been happy and satisfied, and almost triumphant. She +had never yet asked herself whether she expected anything further +from Dr. Crofts, nor what that something further might be,--and yet +she was happy! + +Lily had now become pert and saucy in her bed, taking upon herself +the little airs which are allowed to a convalescent invalid as +compensation for previous suffering and restraint. She pretended to +much anxiety on the subject of her dinner, and declared that she +would go out on such or such a day, let Dr. Crofts be as imperious +as he might. "He's an old savage, after all," she said to her sister, +one evening, after he was gone, "and just as bad as the rest of +them." + +"I do not know who the rest of them are," said Bell, "but at any rate +he's not very old." + +"You know what I mean. He's just as grumpy as Dr. Gruffen, and thinks +everybody is to do what he tells them. Of course, you take his part." + +"And of course you ought, seeing how good he has been." + +"And of course I should, to anybody but you. I do like to abuse him +to you." + +"Lily, Lily!" + +"So I do. It's so hard to knock any fire out of you, that when one +does find the place where the flint lies, one can't help hammering at +it. What did he mean by saying that I shouldn't get up on Sunday? Of +course I shall get up if I like it." + +"Not if mamma asks you not?" + +"Oh, but she won't, unless he interferes and dictates to her. Oh, +Bell, what a tyrant he would be if he were married!" + +"Would he?" + +"And how submissive you would be, if you were his wife! It's a +thousand pities that you are not in love with each other;--that is, +if you are not." + +"Lily, I thought that there was a promise between us about that." + +"Ah! but that was in other days. Things are all altered since that +promise was given,--all the world has been altered." And as she said +this the tone of her voice was changed, and it had become almost sad. +"I feel as though I ought to be allowed now to speak about anything I +please." + +"You shall, if it pleases you, my pet." + +"You see how it is, Bell; I can never again have anything of my own +to talk about." + +"Oh, my darling, do not say that." + +"But it is so, Bell; and why not say it? Do you think I never +say it to myself in the hours when I am all alone, thinking over +it--thinking, thinking, thinking. You must not,--you must not grudge +to let me talk of it sometimes." + +"I will not grudge you anything;--only I cannot believe that it must +be so always." + +"Ask yourself, Bell, how it would be with you. But I sometimes fancy +that you measure me differently from yourself." + +"Indeed I do, for I know how much better you are." + +"I am not so much better as to be ever able to forget all that. I +know I never shall do so. I have made up my mind about it clearly and +with an absolute certainty." + +"Lily, Lily, Lily! pray do not say so." + +"But I do say it. And yet I have not been very mopish and melancholy; +have I, Bell? I do think I deserve some little credit, and yet, I +declare, you won't allow me the least privilege in the world." + +"What privilege would you wish me to give you?" + +"To talk about Dr. Crofts." + +"Lily, you are a wicked, wicked tyrant." And Bell leaned over her, +and fell upon her, and kissed her, hiding her own face in the gloom +of the evening. After that it came to be an accepted understanding +between them that Bell was not altogether indifferent to Dr. Crofts. + +"You heard what he said, my darling," Mrs. Dale said the next day, +as the three were in the room together after Dr. Crofts was gone. +Mrs. Dale was standing on one side of the bed, and Bell on the other, +while Lily was scolding them both. "You can get up for an hour or two +to-morrow, but he thinks you had better not go out of the room." + +"What would be the good of that, mamma? I am so tired of looking +always at the same paper. It is such a tiresome paper. It makes one +count the pattern over and over again. I wonder how you ever can live +here." + +"I've got used to it, you see." + +"I never can get used to that sort of thing; but go on counting, and +counting, and counting. I'll tell you what I should like; and I'm +sure it would be the best thing, too." + +"And what would you like?" said Bell. + +"Just to get up at nine o'clock to-morrow, and go to church as though +nothing had happened. Then, when Dr. Crofts came in the evening, you +would tell him I was down at the school." + +"I wouldn't quite advise that," said Mrs. Dale. + +"It would give him such a delightful start. And when he found I +didn't die immediately, as of course I ought to do according to rule, +he would be so disgusted." + +"It would be very ungrateful, to say the least of it," said Bell. + +"No, it wouldn't, a bit. He needn't come, unless he likes it. And I +don't believe he comes to see me at all. It's all very well, mamma, +your looking in that way; but I'm sure it's true. And I'll tell you +what I'll do, I'll pretend to be bad again, otherwise the poor man +will be robbed of his only happiness." + +"I suppose we must allow her to say what she likes till she gets +well," said Mrs. Dale, laughing. It was now nearly dark, and Mrs. +Dale did not see that Bell's hand had crept under the bed-clothes, +and taken hold of that of her sister. "It's true, mamma," continued +Lily, "and I defy her to deny it. I would forgive him for keeping me +in bed if he would only make her fall in love with him." + +"She has made a bargain, mamma," said Bell, "that she is to say +whatever she likes till she gets well." + +"I am to say whatever I like always; that was the bargain, and I mean +to stand to it." + +On the following Sunday Lily did get up, but did not leave her +mother's bedroom. There she was, seated in that half-dignified and +half-luxurious state which belongs to the first getting up of an +invalid, when Dr. Crofts called. There she had eaten her tiny bit +of roast mutton, and had called her mother a stingy old creature, +because she would not permit another morsel; and there she had drunk +her half glass of port wine, pretending that it was very bad, and +twice worse than the doctor's physic; and there, Sunday though it +was, she had fully enjoyed the last hour of daylight, reading that +exquisite new novel which had just completed itself, amidst the +jarring criticisms of the youth and age of the reading public. + +"I am quite sure she was right in accepting him, Bell," she said, +putting down the book as the light was fading, and beginning to +praise the story. + +"It was a matter of course," said Bell. "It always is right in the +novels. That's why I don't like them. They are too sweet." + +"That's why I do like them, because they are so sweet. A sermon is +not to tell you what you are, but what you ought to be, and a novel +should tell you not what you are to get, but what you'd like to get." + +"If so, then, I'd go back to the old school, and have the heroine +really a heroine, walking all the way up from Edinburgh to London, +and falling among thieves; or else nursing a wounded hero, and +describing the battle from the window. We've got tired of that; or +else the people who write can't do it now-a-days. But if we are to +have real life, let it be real." + +"No, Bell, no!" said Lily. "Real life sometimes is so painful." Then +her sister, in a moment, was down on the floor at her feet, kissing +her hand and caressing her knees, and praying that the wound might be +healed. + +On that morning Lily had succeeded in inducing her sister to tell +her all that had been said by Dr. Crofts. All that had been said by +herself also, Bell had intended to tell; but when she came to this +part of the story, her account was very lame. "I don't think I said +anything," she said. "But silence always gives consent. He'll know +that," Lily had rejoined. "No, he will not; my silence didn't give +any consent; I'm sure of that. And he didn't think that it did." "But +you didn't mean to refuse him?" "I think I did. I don't think I knew +what I meant; and it was safer, therefore, to look no, than to look +yes. If I didn't say it, I'm sure I looked it." "But you wouldn't +refuse him now?" asked Lily. "I don't know," said Bell. "It seems as +though I should want years to make up my mind; and he won't ask me +again." + +Bell was still at her sister's feet, caressing them, and praying with +all her heart that that wound might be healed in due time, when Mrs. +Dale came in and announced the doctor's daily visit. "Then I'll go," +said Bell. + +"Indeed you won't," said Lily. "He's coming simply to make a morning +call, and nobody need run away. Now, Dr. Crofts, you need not come +and stand over me with your watch, for I won't let you touch my hand +except to shake hands with me;" and then she held her hand out to +him. "And all you'll know of my tongue you'll learn from the sound." + +"I don't care in the least for your tongue." + +"I dare say not, and yet you may some of these days. I can speak out, +if I like it; can't I, mamma?" + +"I should think Dr. Crofts knows that by this time, my dear." + +"I don't know. There are some things gentlemen are very slow +to learn. But you must sit down, Dr. Crofts, and make yourself +comfortable and polite; for you must understand that you are not +master here any longer. I am out of bed now, and your reign is over." + +"That's the gratitude of the world, all through," said Mrs. Dale. + +"Who is ever grateful to a doctor? He only cures you that he may +triumph over some other doctor, and declare, as he goes by Dr. +Gruffen's door, 'There, had she called you in, she'd have been dead +before now; or else would have been ill for twelve months.' Don't you +jump for joy when Dr. Gruffen's patients die?" + +"Of course I do--out in the market-place, so that everybody shall see +me," said the doctor. + +"Lily, how can you say such shocking things?" said her sister. + +Then the doctor did sit down, and they were all very cosy together +over the fire, talking about things which were not medical, or +only half medical in their appliance. By degrees the conversation +came round to Mrs. Eames and to John Eames. Two or three days +since, Crofts had told Mrs. Dale of that affair at the railway +station, of which up to that time she had heard nothing. Mrs. +Dale, when she was assured that young Eames had given Crosbie a +tremendous thrashing--the tidings of the affair which had got +themselves substantiated at Guestwick so described the nature of the +encounter--could not withhold some meed of applause. + +"Dear boy!" she said, almost involuntarily. "Dear boy! it came from +the honestness of his heart!" And then she gave special injunctions +to the doctor--injunctions which were surely unnecessary--that no +word of the matter should be whispered before Lily. + +"I was at the manor, yesterday," said the doctor, "and the earl would +talk about nothing but Master Johnny. He says he's the finest fellow +going." Whereupon Mrs. Dale touched him with her foot, fearing that +the conversation might be led away in the direction of Johnny's +prowess. + +"I am so glad," said Lily. "I always knew that they'd find John out +at last." + +"And Lady Julia is just as fond of him," said the doctor. + +"Dear me!" said Lily. "Suppose they were to make up a match!" + +"Lily, how can you be so absurd?" + +"Let me see; what relation would he be to us? He would certainly +be Bernard's uncle, and uncle Christopher's half brother-in-law. +Wouldn't it be odd?" + +"It would rather," said Mrs. Dale. + +"I hope he'll be civil to Bernard. Don't you, Bell? Is he to give up +the Income-tax Office, Dr. Crofts?" + +"I didn't hear that that was settled yet." And so they went on +talking about John Eames. + +"Joking apart," said Lily, "I am very glad that Lord De Guest has +taken him by the hand. Not that I think an earl is better than +anybody else, but because it shows that people are beginning to +understand that he has got something in him. I always said that they +who laughed at John would see him hold up his head yet." All which +words sank deep into Mrs. Dale's mind. If only, in some coming time, +her pet might be taught to love this new young hero! But then would +not that last heroic deed of his militate most strongly against any +possibility of such love! + +"And now I may as well be going," said the doctor, rising from his +chair. At this time Bell had left the room, but Mrs. Dale was still +there. + +"You need not be in such a hurry, especially this evening," said +Lily. + +"Why especially this evening?" + +"Because it will be the last. Sit down again, Dr. Crofts. I've got a +little speech to make to you. I've been preparing it all the morning, +and you must give me an opportunity of speaking it." + +"I'll come the day after to-morrow, and I'll hear it then." + +"But I choose, sir, that you should hear it now. Am I not to be +obeyed when I first get up on to my own throne? Dear, dear Dr. +Crofts, how am I to thank you for all that you have done?" + +"How are any of us to thank him?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"I hate thanks," said the doctor. "One kind glance of the eye is +worth them all, and I've had many such in this house." + +"You have our hearts' love, at any rate," said Mrs. Dale. + +"God bless you all!" said he, as he prepared to go. + +"But I haven't made my speech yet," said Lily. "And to tell the +truth, mamma, you must go away, or I shall never be able to make it. +It's very improper, is it not, turning you out, but it shall only +take three minutes." Then Mrs. Dale, with some little joking word, +left the room; but, as she left it, her mind was hardly at ease. +Ought she to have gone, leaving it to Lily's discretion to say what +words she might think fit to Dr. Crofts? Hitherto she had never +doubted her daughters--not even their discretion; and therefore it +had been natural to her to go when she was bidden. But as she went +downstairs she had her doubts whether she was right or no. + +"Dr. Crofts," said Lily, as soon as they were alone. "Sit down there, +close to me. I want to ask you a question. What was it you said to +Bell when you were alone with her the other evening in the parlour?" + +The doctor sat for a moment without answering, and Lily, who was +watching him closely, could see by the light of the fire that he had +been startled--had almost shuddered as the question was asked him. + +"What did I say to her?" and he repeated her words in a very low +voice. "I asked her if she could love me, and be my wife." + +"And what answer did she make to you?" + +"What answer did she make? She simply refused me." + +"No, no, no; don't believe her, Dr. Crofts. It was not so;--I think +it was not so. Mind you, I can say nothing as coming from her. She +has not told me her own mind. But if you really love her, she will be +mad to refuse you." + +"I do love her, Lily; that at any rate is true." + +"Then go to her again. I am speaking for myself now. I cannot afford +to lose such a brother as you would be. I love you so dearly that I +cannot spare you. And she,--I think she'll learn to love you as you +would wish to be loved. You know her nature, how silent she is, and +averse to talk about herself. She has confessed nothing to me but +this,--that you spoke to her and took her by surprise. Are we to have +another chance? I know how wrong I am to ask such a question. But, +after all, is not the truth the best?" + +"Another chance!" + +"I know what you mean, and I think she is worthy to be your wife. I +do, indeed; and if so, she must be very worthy. You won't tell of me, +will you now, doctor?" + +"No; I won't tell of you." + +"And you'll try again?" + +"Yes; I'll try again." + +"God bless you, my brother! I hope,--I hope you'll be my brother." +Then, as he put out his hand to her once more, she raised her head +towards him, and he, stooping down, kissed her forehead. "Make mamma +come to me," were the last words she spoke as he went out at the +door. + +"So you've made your speech," said Mrs. Dale. + +"Yes, mamma." + +"I hope it was a discreet speech." + +"I hope it was, mamma. But it has made me so tired, and I believe +I'll go to bed. Do you know I don't think I should have done much +good down at the school to-day?" + +Then Mrs. Dale, in her anxiety to repair what injury might have been +done to her daughter by over-exertion, omitted any further mention of +the farewell speech. + +Dr. Crofts as he rode home enjoyed but little of the triumph of a +successful lover. "It may be that she's right," he said to himself; +"and, at any rate, I'll ask again." Nevertheless, that "No" which +Bell had spoken, and had repeated, still sounded in his ears harsh +and conclusive. There are men to whom a peal of noes rattling about +their ears never takes the sound of a true denial, and others to whom +the word once pronounced, be it whispered ever so softly, comes as +though it were an unchangeable verdict from the supreme +judgment-seat. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIII. + +FIE, FIE! + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +Will any reader remember the loves,--no, not the loves; that word +is so decidedly ill-applied as to be incapable of awakening the +remembrance of any reader; but the flirtations--of Lady Dumbello and +Mr. Plantagenet Palliser? Those flirtations, as they had been carried +on at Courcy Castle, were laid bare in all their enormities to the +eye of the public, and it must be confessed that if the eye of the +public was shocked, that eye must be shocked very easily. + +But the eye of the public was shocked, and people who were particular +as to their morals said very strange things. Lady De Courcy herself +said very strange things indeed, shaking her head, and dropping +mysterious words; whereas Lady Clandidlem spoke much more openly, +declaring her opinion that Lady Dumbello would be off before May. +They both agreed that it would not be altogether bad for Lord +Dumbello that he should lose his wife, but shook their heads very +sadly when they spoke of poor Plantagenet Palliser. As to the lady's +fate, that lady whom they had both almost worshipped during the days +at Courcy Castle,--they did not seem to trouble themselves about +that. + +And it must be admitted that Mr. Palliser had been a little +imprudent,--imprudent, that is, if he knew anything about the rumours +afloat,--seeing that soon after his visit at Courcy Castle he had +gone down to Lady Hartletop's place in Shropshire, at which the +Dumbellos intended to spend the winter, and on leaving it had +expressed his intention of returning in February. The Hartletop +people had pressed him very much,--the pressure having come with +peculiar force from Lord Dumbello. Therefore it is reasonable to +suppose that the Hartletop people had at any rate not heard of the +rumour. + +Mr. Plantagenet Palliser spent his Christmas with his uncle, the Duke +of Omnium, at Gatherum Castle. That is to say, he reached the castle +in time for dinner on Christmas eve, and left it on the morning after +Christmas day. This was in accordance with the usual practice of +his life, and the tenants, dependants, and followers of the Omnium +interest were always delighted to see this manifestation of a healthy +English domestic family feeling between the duke and his nephew. +But the amount of intercourse on such occasions between them was +generally trifling. The duke would smile as he put out his right hand +to his nephew, and say,-- + +"Well, Plantagenet,--very busy, I suppose?" + +The duke was the only living being who called him Plantagenet to his +face, though there were some scores of men who talked of Planty Pal +behind his back. The duke had been the only living being so to call +him. Let us hope that it still was so, and that there had arisen +no feminine exception, dangerous in its nature and improper in its +circumstances. + +"Well, Plantagenet," said the duke, on the present occasion, "very +busy, I suppose?" + +"Yes, indeed, duke," said Mr. Palliser. "When a man gets the harness +on him he does not easily get quit of it." + +The duke remembered that his nephew had made almost the same remark +at his last Christmas visit. + +"By-the-by," said the duke, "I want to say a word or two to you +before you go." + +Such a proposition on the duke's part was a great departure from +his usual practice, but the nephew of course undertook to obey his +uncle's behests. + +"I'll see you before dinner to-morrow," said Plantagenet. + +"Ah, do," said the duke. "I'll not keep you five minutes." And at six +o'clock on the following afternoon the two were closeted together in +the duke's private room. + +"I don't suppose there is much in it," began the duke, "but people +are talking about you and Lady Dumbello." + +"Upon my word, people are very kind." And Mr. Palliser bethought +himself of the fact,--for it certainly was a fact,--that people for +a great many years had talked about his uncle and Lady Dumbello's +mother-in-law. + +"Yes; kind enough; are they not? You've just come from Hartlebury, +I believe." Hartlebury was the Marquis of Hartletop's seat in +Shropshire. + +"Yes, I have. And I'm going there again in February." + +"Ah, I'm sorry for that. Not that I mean, of course, to interfere +with your arrangements. You will acknowledge that I have not often +done so, in any matter whatever." + +"No; you have not," said the nephew, comforting himself with an +inward assurance that no such interference on his uncle's part could +have been possible. + +"But in this instance it would suit me, and I really think it would +suit you too, that you should be as little at Hartlebury as possible. +You have said you would go there, and of course you will go. But if I +were you, I would not stay above a day or two." + +Mr. Plantagenet Palliser received everything he had in the world from +his uncle. He sat in Parliament through his uncle's interest, and +received an allowance of ever so many thousand a year which his uncle +could stop to-morrow by his mere word. He was his uncle's heir, and +the dukedom, with certain entailed properties, must ultimately fall +to him, unless his uncle should marry and have a son. But by far the +greater portion of the duke's property was unentailed; the duke might +probably live for the next twenty years or more; and it was quite +possible that, if offended, he might marry and become a father. It +may be said that no man could well be more dependent on another than +Plantagenet Palliser was upon his uncle; and it may be said also that +no father or uncle ever troubled his heir with less interference. +Nevertheless, the nephew immediately felt himself aggrieved by this +allusion to his private life, and resolved at once that he would not +submit to such surveillance. + +"I don't know how long I shall stay," said he; "but I cannot say that +my visit will be influenced one way or the other by such a rumour as +that." + +"No; probably not. But it may perhaps be influenced by my request." +And the duke, as he spoke, looked a little savage. + +"You wouldn't ask me to regard a report that has no foundation." + +"I am not asking about its foundation. Nor do I in the least wish to +interfere with your manner in life." By which last observation the +duke intended his nephew to understand that he was quite at liberty +to take away any other gentleman's wife, but that he was not at +liberty to give occasion even for a surmise that he wanted to take +Lord Dumbello's wife. "The fact is this, Plantagenet. I have for many +years been intimate with that family. I have not many intimacies, and +shall probably never increase them. Such friends as I have, I wish +to keep, and you will easily perceive that any such report as that +which I have mentioned, might make it unpleasant for me to go to +Hartlebury, or for the Hartlebury people to come here." The duke +certainly could not have spoken plainer, and Mr. Palliser understood +him thoroughly. Two such alliances between the two families could not +be expected to run pleasantly together, and even the rumour of any +such second alliance might interfere with the pleasantness of the +former one. + +"That's all," said the duke. + +"It's a most absurd slander," said Mr. Palliser. + +"I dare say. Those slanders always are absurd; but what can we do? +We can't tie up people's tongues." And the duke looked as though he +wished to have the subject considered as finished, and to be left +alone. + +"But we can disregard them," said the nephew, indiscreetly. + +"You may. I have never been able to do so. And yet, I believe, I +have not earned for myself the reputation of being subject to the +voices of men. You think that I am asking much of you; but you should +remember that hitherto I have given much and have asked nothing. I +expect you to oblige me in this matter." + +Then Mr. Plantagenet Palliser left the room, knowing that he had been +threatened. What the duke had said amounted to this.--If you go on +dangling after Lady Dumbello, I'll stop the seven thousand a year +which I give you. I'll oppose your next return at Silverbridge, and +I'll make a will and leave away from you Matching and The Horns,--a +beautiful little place in Surrey, the use of which had been already +offered to Mr. Palliser in the event of his marriage; all the +Littlebury estate in Yorkshire, and the enormous Scotch property. Of +my personal goods, and money invested in loans, shares, and funds, +you shall never touch a shilling, or the value of a shilling. And, if +I find that I can suit myself, it may be that I'll leave you plain +Mr. Plantagenet Palliser, with a little first cousin for the head of +your family. + +The full amount of this threat Mr. Palliser understood, and, as he +thought of it, he acknowledged to himself that he had never felt for +Lady Dumbello anything like love. No conversation between them had +ever been warmer than that of which the reader has seen a sample. +Lady Dumbello had been nothing to him. But now,--now that the matter +had been put before him in this way, might it not become him, as a +gentleman, to fall in love with so very beautiful a woman, whose name +had already been linked with his own? We all know that story of the +priest, who, by his question in the confessional, taught the ostler +to grease the horses' teeth. "I never did yet," said the ostler, "but +I'll have a try at it." In this case, the duke had acted the part of +the priest, and Mr. Palliser, before the night was over, had almost +become as ready a pupil as the ostler. As to the threat, it would ill +become him, as a Palliser and a Plantagenet, to regard it. The duke +would not marry. Of all men in the world he was the least likely to +spite his own face by cutting off his own nose; and, for the rest of +it, Mr. Palliser would take his chance. Therefore he went down to +Hartlebury early in February, having fully determined to be very +particular in his attentions to Lady Dumbello. + +Among a houseful of people at Hartlebury, he found Lord Porlock, a +slight, sickly, worn-out looking man, who had something about his eye +of his father's hardness, but nothing in his mouth of his father's +ferocity. + +"So your sister is going to be married?" said Mr. Palliser. + +"Yes. One has no right to be surprised at anything they do, when one +remembers the life their father leads them." + +"I was going to congratulate you." + +"Don't do that." + +"I met him at Courcy, and rather liked him." + +Mr. Palliser had barely spoken to Mr. Crosbie at Courcy, but then in +the usual course of his social life he seldom did more than barely +speak to anybody. + +"Did you?" said Lord Porlock. "For the poor girl's sake I hope he's +not a ruffian. How any man should propose to my father to marry a +daughter out of his house, is more than I can understand. How was my +mother looking?" + +"I didn't see anything amiss about her." + +"I expect that he'll murder her some day." Then that conversation +came to an end. + +Mr. Palliser himself perceived--as he looked at her he could not but +perceive--that a certain amount of social energy seemed to enliven +Lady Dumbello when he approached her. She was given to smile when +addressed, but her usual smile was meaningless, almost leaden, and +never in any degree flattering to the person to whom it was accorded. +Very many women smile as they answer the words which are spoken to +them, and most who do so flatter by their smile. The thing is so +common that no one thinks of it. The flattering pleases, but means +nothing. The impression unconsciously taken simply conveys a feeling +that the woman has made herself agreeable, as it was her duty to +do,--agreeable, as far as that smile went, in some very infinitesimal +degree. But she has thereby made her little contribution to society. +She will make the same contribution a hundred times in the same +evening. No one knows that she has flattered anybody; she does not +know it herself; and the world calls her an agreeable woman. But Lady +Dumbello put no flattery into her customary smiles. They were cold, +unmeaning, accompanied by no special glance of the eye, and seldom +addressed to the individual. They were given to the room at large; +and the room at large, acknowledging her great pretensions, accepted +them as sufficient. But when Mr. Palliser came near to her she would +turn herself slightly, ever so slightly, on her seat, and would allow +her eyes to rest for a moment upon his face. Then when he remarked +that it had been rather cold, she would smile actually upon him as +she acknowledged the truth of his observation. All this Mr. Palliser +taught himself to observe, having been instructed by his foolish +uncle in that lesson as to the greasing of the horses' teeth. + +But, nevertheless, during the first week of his stay at Hartlebury, +he did not say a word to her more tender than his observation about +the weather. It is true that he was very busy. He had undertaken to +speak upon the address, and as Parliament was now about to be opened, +and as his speech was to be based upon statistics, he was full of +figures and papers. His correspondence was pressing, and the day was +seldom long enough for his purposes. He felt that the intimacy to +which he aspired was hindered by the laborious routine of his life; +but nevertheless he would do something before he left Hartlebury, to +show the special nature of his regard. He would say something to her, +that should open to her view the secret of--shall we say his heart? +Such was his resolve, day after day. And yet day after day went by, +and nothing was said. He fancied that Lord Dumbello was somewhat less +friendly in his manner than he had been, that he put himself in the +way and looked cross; but, as he declared to himself, he cared very +little for Lord Dumbello's looks. + +"When do you go to town?" he said to her one evening. + +"Probably in April. We certainly shall not leave Hartlebury before +that." + +"Ah, yes. You stay for the hunting." + +"Yes; Lord Dumbello always remains here through March. He may run up +to town for a day or two." + +"How comfortable! I must be in London on Thursday, you know." + +"When Parliament meets, I suppose?" + +"Exactly. It is such a bore; but one has to do it." + +"When a man makes a business of it, I suppose he must." + +"Oh, dear, yes; it's quite imperative." Then Mr. Palliser looked +round the room, and thought he saw Lord Dumbello's eye fixed upon +him. It was really very hard work. If the truth must be told, he +did not know how to begin. What was he to say to her? How was he to +commence a conversation that should end by being tender? She was very +handsome certainly, and for him she could look interesting; but for +his very life he did not know how to begin to say anything special +to her. A liaison with such a woman as Lady Dumbello,--platonic, +innocent, but nevertheless very intimate,--would certainly lend +a grace to his life, which, under its present circumstances, was +rather dry. He was told,--told by public rumour which had reached +him through his uncle,--that the lady was willing. She certainly +looked as though she liked him; but how was he to begin? The art of +startling the House of Commons and frightening the British public by +the voluminous accuracy of his statistics he had already learned; but +what was he to say to a pretty woman? + +"You'll be sure to be in London in April?" + +This was on another occasion. + +"Oh, yes; I think so." + +"In Carlton Gardens, I suppose." + +"Yes; Lord Dumbello has got a lease of the house now." + +"Has he, indeed? Ah, it's an excellent house. I hope I shall be +allowed to call there sometimes." + +"Certainly,--only I know you must be so busy." + +"Not on Saturdays and Sundays." + +"I always receive on Sundays," said Lady Dumbello. Mr. Palliser felt +that there was nothing peculiarly gracious in this. A permission to +call when all her other acquaintances would be there, was not much; +but still, perhaps, it was as much as he could expect to obtain on +that occasion. He looked up and saw that Lord Dumbello's eyes were +again upon him, and that Lord Dumbello's brow was black. He began +to doubt whether a country house, where all the people were thrown +together, was the best place in the world for such manoeuvring. +Lady Dumbello was very handsome, and he liked to look at her, but +he could not find any subject on which to interest her in that +drawing-room at Hartlebury. Later in the evening he found himself +saying something to her about the sugar duties, and then he knew that +he had better give it up. He had only one day more, and that was +required imperatively for his speech. The matter would go much +easier in London, and he would postpone it till then. In the crowded +rooms of London private conversation would be much easier, and Lord +Dumbello wouldn't stand over and look at him. Lady Dumbello had +taken his remarks about the sugar very kindly, and had asked for a +definition of an ad valorem duty. It was a nearer approach to a real +conversation than he had ever before made; but the subject had been +unlucky, and could not, in his hands, be brought round to anything +tender; so he resolved to postpone his gallantry till the London +spring should make it easy, and felt as he did so, that he was +relieved for the time from a heavy weight. + +"Good-by, Lady Dumbello," he said, on the next evening. "I start +early to-morrow morning." + +"Good-by, Mr. Palliser." + +As she spoke she smiled ever so sweetly, but she certainly had not +learned to call him Plantagenet as yet. He went up to London and +immediately got himself to work. The accurate and voluminous speech +came off with considerable credit to himself,--credit of that +quiet, enduring kind which is accorded to such men. The speech was +respectable, dull, and correct. Men listened to it, or sat with +their hats over their eyes, asleep, pretending to do so; and the +Daily Jupiter in the morning had a leading article about it, which, +however, left the reader at its close altogether in doubt whether +Mr. Palliser might be supposed to be a great financial pundit or no. +Mr. Palliser might become a shining light to the moneyed world, and +a glory to the banking interests; he might be a future Chancellor +of the Exchequer. But then again, it might turn out that, in these +affairs, he was a mere ignis fatuus, a blind guide,--a man to be laid +aside as very respectable, but of no depth. Who, then, at the present +time, could judiciously risk his credit by declaring whether Mr. +Palliser understood his subject or did not understand it? We are not +content in looking to our newspapers for all the information that +earth and human intellect can afford; but we demand from them what +we might demand if a daily sheet could come to us from the world of +spirits. The result, of course, is this,--that the papers do pretend +that they have come daily from the world of spirits; but the oracles +are very doubtful, as were those of old. + +Plantagenet Palliser, though he was contented with this article, +felt, as he sat in his chambers in the Albany, that something else +was wanting to his happiness. This sort of life was all very well. +Ambition was a grand thing, and it became him, as a Palliser and a +future peer, to make politics his profession. But might he not spare +an hour or two for Amaryllis in the shade? Was it not hard, this life +of his? Since he had been told that Lady Dumbello smiled upon him, he +had certainly thought more about her smiles than had been good for +his statistics. It seemed as though a new vein in his body had been +brought into use, and that blood was running where blood had never +run before. If he had seen Lady Dumbello before Dumbello had seen +her, might he not have married her? Ah! in such case as that, had she +been simply Miss Grantly, or Lady Griselda Grantly, as the case might +have been, he thought he might have been able to speak to her with +more ease. As it was, he certainly had found the task difficult, down +in the country, though he had heard of men of his class doing the +same sort of thing all his life. For my own part, I believe that the +reputed sinners are much more numerous than the sinners. + +As he sat there, a certain Mr. Fothergill came in upon him. Mr. +Fothergill was a gentleman who managed most of his uncle's ordinary +affairs,--a clever fellow, who knew on which side his bread was +buttered. Mr. Fothergill was naturally anxious to stand well with the +heir; but to stand well with the owner was his business in life, and +with that business he never allowed anything to interfere. On this +occasion Mr. Fothergill was very civil, complimenting his future +possible patron on his very powerful speech, and predicting for him +political power with much more certainty than the newspapers which +had, or had not, come from the world of spirits. Mr. Fothergill had +come in to say a word or two about some matter of business. As all +Mr. Palliser's money passed through Mr. Fothergill's hands, and as +his electioneering interests were managed by Mr. Fothergill, Mr. +Fothergill not unfrequently called to say a necessary word or two. +When this was done he said another word or two, which might be +necessary or not, as the case might be. + +"Mr. Palliser," said he, "I wonder you don't think of marrying. I +hope you'll excuse me." + +Mr. Palliser was by no means sure that he would excuse him, and sat +himself suddenly upright in his chair in a manner that was intended +to exhibit a first symptom of outraged dignity. But, singularly +enough, he had himself been thinking of marriage at that moment. +How would it have been with him had he known the beautiful Griselda +before the Dumbello alliance had been arranged? Would he have married +her? Would he have been comfortable if he had married her? Of +course he could not marry now, seeing that he was in love with Lady +Dumbello, and that the lady in question, unfortunately, had a husband +of her own; but though he had been thinking of marrying, he did not +like to have the subject thus roughly thrust before his eyes, and, +as it were, into his very lap by his uncle's agent. Mr. Fothergill, +no doubt, saw the first symptom of outraged dignity, for he was a +clever, sharp man. But, perhaps, he did not in truth much regard it. +Perhaps he had received instructions which he was bound to regard +above all other matters. + +"I hope you'll excuse me, Mr. Palliser, I do, indeed; but I say it +because I am half afraid of some,--some,--some diminution of good +feeling, perhaps, I had better call it, between you and your uncle. +Anything of that kind would be such a monstrous pity." + +"I am not aware of any such probability." + +This Mr. Palliser said with considerable dignity; but when the words +were spoken he bethought himself whether he had not told a fib. + +"No; perhaps not. I trust there is no such probability. But the duke +is a very determined man if he takes anything into his head;--and +then he has so much in his power." + +"He has not me in his power, Mr. Fothergill." + +"No, no, no. One man does not have another in his power in this +country,--not in that way; but then you know, Mr. Palliser, it would +hardly do to offend him; would it?" + +"I would rather not offend him, as is natural. Indeed, I do not wish +to offend any one." + +"Exactly so; and least of all the duke, who has the whole property in +his own hands. We may say the whole, for he can marry to-morrow if he +pleases. And then his life is so good. I don't know a stouter man of +his age, anywhere." + +"I'm very glad to hear it." + +"I'm sure you are, Mr. Palliser. But if he were to take offence, you +know?" + +"I should put up with it." + +"Yes, exactly; that's what you would do. But it would be worth while +to avoid it, seeing how much he has in his power." + +"Has the duke sent you to me now, Mr. Fothergill?" + +"No, no, no,--nothing of the sort. But he dropped words the other day +which made me fancy that he was not quite,--quite,--quite at ease +about you. I have long known that he would be very glad indeed to +see an heir born to the property. The other morning,--I don't know +whether there was anything in it,--but I fancied he was going to make +some change in the present arrangements. He did not do it, and it +might have been fancy. Only think, Mr. Palliser, what one word of +his might do! If he says a word, he never goes back from it." Then, +having said so much, Mr. Fothergill went his way. + +Mr. Palliser understood the meaning of all this very well. It +was not the first occasion on which Mr. Fothergill had given him +advice,--advice such as Mr. Fothergill himself had no right to give +him. He always received such counsel with an air of half-injured +dignity, intending thereby to explain to Mr. Fothergill that he was +intruding. But he knew well whence the advice came; and though, in +all such cases, he had made up his mind not to follow such counsel, +it had generally come to pass that Mr. Palliser's conduct had more or +less accurately conformed itself to Mr. Fothergill's advice. A word +from the duke might certainly do a great deal! Mr. Palliser resolved +that in that affair of Lady Dumbello he would follow his own devices. +But, nevertheless, it was undoubtedly true that a word from the duke +might do a great deal! + +We, who are in the secret, know how far Mr. Palliser had already +progressed in his iniquitous passion before he left Hartlebury. +Others, who were perhaps not so well informed, gave him credit +for a much more advanced success. Lady Clandidlem, in her letter +to Lady De Courcy, written immediately after the departure of Mr. +Palliser, declared that, having heard of that gentleman's intended +matutinal departure, she had confidently expected to learn at the +breakfast-table that Lady Dumbello had flown with him. From the tone +of her ladyship's language, it seemed as though she had been robbed +of an anticipated pleasure by Lady Dumbello's prolonged sojourn +in the halls of her husband's ancestors. "I feel, however, quite +convinced," said Lady Clandidlem, "that it cannot go on longer than +the spring. I never yet saw a man so infatuated as Mr. Palliser. He +did not leave her for one moment all the time he was here. No one +but Lady Hartletop would have permitted it. But, you know, there is +nothing so pleasant as good old family friendships." + + + + +CHAPTER XLIV. + +VALENTINE'S DAY AT ALLINGTON. + + +Lily had exacted a promise from her mother before her illness, +and during the period of her convalescence often referred to it, +reminding her mother that that promise had been made, and must be +kept. Lily was to be told the day on which Crosbie was to be married. +It had come to the knowledge of them all that the marriage was to +take place in February. But this was not sufficient for Lily. She +must know the day. + +And as the time drew nearer,--Lily becoming stronger the while, and +less subject to medical authority,--the marriage of Crosbie and +Alexandrina was spoken of much more frequently at the Small House. +It was not a subject which Mrs. Dale or Bell would have chosen for +conversation; but Lily would refer to it. She would begin by doing so +almost in a drolling strain, alluding to herself as a forlorn damsel +in a play-book; and then she would go on to speak of his interests as +a matter which was still of great moment to her. But in the course of +such talking she would too often break down, showing by some sad word +or melancholy tone how great was the burden on her heart. Mrs. Dale +and Bell would willingly have avoided the subject, but Lily would not +have it avoided. For them it was a very difficult matter on which +to speak in her hearing. It was not permitted to them to say a word +of abuse against Crosbie, as to whom they thought that no word of +condemnation could be sufficiently severe; and they were forced to +listen to such excuses for his conduct as Lily chose to manufacture, +never daring to point out how vain those excuses were. + +Indeed, in those days Lily reigned as a queen at the Small House. +Ill-usage and illness together falling into her hands had given her +such power, that none of the other women were able to withstand it. +Nothing was said about it; but it was understood by them all, Jane +and the cook included, that Lily was for the time paramount. She was +a dear, gracious, loving, brave queen, and no one was anxious to +rebel;--only that those praises of Crosbie were so very bitter in the +ears of her subjects. The day was named soon enough, and the tidings +came down to Allington. On the fourteenth of February, Crosbie was +to be made a happy man. This was not known to the Dales till the +twelfth, and they would willingly have spared the knowledge then, had +it been possible to spare it. But it was not so, and on that evening +Lily was told. + +During these days, Bell used to see her uncle daily. Her visits were +made with the pretence of taking to him information as to Lily's +health; but there was perhaps at the bottom of them a feeling that, +as the family intended to leave the Small House at the end of March, +it would be well to let the squire know that there was no enmity in +their hearts against him. Nothing more had been said about their +moving,--nothing, that is, from them to him. But the matter was going +on, and he knew it. Dr. Crofts was already in treaty on their behalf +for a small furnished house at Guestwick. The squire was very sad +about it,--very sad indeed. When Hopkins spoke to him on the subject, +he sharply desired that faithful gardener to hold his tongue, giving +it to be understood that such things were not to be made matter +of talk by the Allington dependants till they had been officially +announced. With Bell during these visits he never alluded to the +matter. She was the chief sinner, in that she had refused to marry +her cousin, and had declined even to listen to rational counsel upon +the matter. But the squire felt that he could not discuss the subject +with her, seeing that he had been specially informed by Mrs. Dale +that his interference would not be permitted; and then he was perhaps +aware that if he did discuss the subject with Bell, he would not gain +much by such discussion. Their conversation, therefore, generally +fell upon Crosbie, and the tone in which he was mentioned in the +Great House was very different from that assumed in Lily's presence. + +"He'll be a wretched man," said the squire, when he told Bell of the +day that had been fixed. + +"I don't want him to be wretched," said Bell. "But I can hardly think +that he can act as he has done without being punished." + +"He will be a wretched man. He gets no fortune with her, and she will +expect everything that fortune can give. I believe, too, that she +is older than he is. I cannot understand it. Upon my word, I cannot +understand how a man can be such a knave and such a fool. Give my +love to Lily. I'll see her to-morrow or the next day. She's well rid +of him; I'm sure of that;--though I suppose it would not do to tell +her so." + +The morning of the fourteenth came upon them at the Small House, +as comes the morning of those special days which have been long +considered, and which are to be long remembered. It brought with it a +hard, bitter frost,--a black, biting frost,--such a frost as breaks +the water-pipes, and binds the ground to the hardness of granite. +Lily, queen as she was, had not yet been allowed to go back to her +own chamber, but occupied the larger bed in her mother's room, her +mother sleeping on a smaller one. + +"Mamma," she said, "how cold they'll be!" Her mother had announced to +her the fact of the black frost, and these were the first words she +spoke. + +"I fear their hearts will be cold also," said Mrs. Dale. She ought +not to have said so. She was transgressing the acknowledged rule +of the house in saying any word that could be construed as being +inimical to Crosbie or his bride. But her feeling on the matter was +too strong, and she could not restrain herself. + +"Why should their hearts be cold? Oh, mamma, that is a terrible thing +to say. Why should their hearts be cold?" + +"I hope it may not be so." + +"Of course you do; of course we all hope it. He was not cold-hearted, +at any rate. A man is not cold-hearted, because he does not know +himself. Mamma, I want you to wish for their happiness." + +Mrs. Dale was silent for a minute or two before she answered this, +but then she did answer it. "I think I do," said she. "I think I do +wish for it." + +"I am very sure that I do," said Lily. + +At this time Lily had her breakfast upstairs, but went down into the +drawing-room in the course of the morning. + +"You must be very careful in wrapping yourself as you go downstairs," +said Bell, who stood by the tray on which she had brought up the +toast and tea. "The cold is what you would call awful." + +"I should call it jolly," said Lily, "if I could get up and go out. +Do you remember lecturing me about talking slang the day that he +first came?" + +"Did I, my pet?" + +"Don't you remember, when I called him a swell? Ah, dear! so he was. +That was the mistake, and it was all my own fault, as I had seen it +from the first." + +Bell for a moment turned her face away, and beat with her foot +against the ground. Her anger was more difficult of restraint than +was even her mother's,--and now, not restraining it, but wishing to +hide it, she gave it vent in this way. + +"I understand, Bell. I know what your foot means when it goes in that +way; and you shan't do it. Come here, Bell, and let me teach you +Christianity. I'm a fine sort of teacher, am I not? And I did not +quite mean that." + +"I wish I could learn it from some one," said Bell. "There are +circumstances in which what we call Christianity seems to me to be +hardly possible." + +"When your foot goes in that way it is a very unchristian foot, and +you ought to keep it still. It means anger against him, because he +discovered before it was too late that he would not be happy,--that +is, that he and I would not be happy together if we were married." + +"Don't scrutinize my foot too closely, Lily." + +"But your foot must bear scrutiny, and your eyes, and your voice. He +was very foolish to fall in love with me. And so was I very foolish +to let him love me, at a moment's notice,--without a thought as it +were. I was so proud of having him, that I gave myself up to him all +at once, without giving him a chance of thinking of it. In a week or +two it was done. Who could expect that such an engagement should be +lasting?" + +"And why not? That is nonsense, Lily. But we will not talk about it." + +"Ah, but I want to talk about it. It was as I have said, and if +so, you shouldn't hate him because he did the only thing which he +honestly could do when he found out his mistake." + +"What; become engaged again within a week!" + +"There had been a very old friendship, Bell; you must remember that. +But I was speaking of his conduct to me, and not of his conduct to--" +And then she remembered that that other lady might at this very +moment possess the name which she had once been so proud to think +that she would bear herself. "Bell," she said, stopping her other +speech suddenly, "at what o'clock do people get married in London?" + +"Oh, at all manner of hours,--any time before twelve. They will be +fashionable, and will be married late." + +"You don't think she's Mrs. Crosbie yet, then?" + +"Lady Alexandrina Crosbie," said Bell, shuddering. + +"Yes, of course; I forgot. I should so like to see her. I feel such +an interest about her. I wonder what coloured hair she has. I suppose +she is a sort of Juno of a woman,--very tall and handsome. I'm sure +she has not got a pug-nose like me. Do you know what I should really +like, only of course it's not possible;--to be godmother to his first +child." + +"Oh, Lily!" + +"I should. Don't you hear me say that I know it's not possible? I'm +not going up to London to ask her. She'll have all manner of grandees +for her godfathers and godmothers. I wonder what those grand people +are really like." + +"I don't think there's any difference. Look at Lady Julia." + +"Oh, she's not a grand person. It isn't merely having a title. Don't +you remember that he told us that Mr. Palliser is about the grandest +grandee of them all. I suppose people do learn to like them. He +always used to say that he had been so long among people of that +sort, that it would be very difficult for him to divide himself off +from them. I should never have done for that kind of thing; should +I?" + +"There is nothing I despise so much as what you call that kind of +thing." + +"Do you? I don't. After all, think how much work they do. He used to +tell me of that. They have all the governing in their hands, and get +very little money for doing it." + +"Worse luck for the country." + +"The country seems to do pretty well. But you're a radical, Bell. My +belief is, you wouldn't be a lady if you could help it." + +"I'd sooner be an honest woman." + +"And so you are,--my own dear, dearest, honest Bell,--and the fairest +lady that I know. If I were a man, Bell, you are just the girl that I +should worship." + +"But you are not a man; so it's no good." + +"But you mustn't let your foot go astray in that way; you mustn't, +indeed. Somebody said, that whatever is, is right, and I declare I +believe it." + +"I'm sometimes inclined to think, that whatever is, is wrong." + +"That's because you're a radical. I think I'll get up now, Bell; only +it's so frightfully cold that I'm afraid." + +"There's a beautiful fire," said Bell. + +"Yes; I see. But the fire won't go all around me, like the bed does. +I wish I could know the very moment when they're at the altar. It's +only half-past ten yet." + +"I shouldn't be at all surprised if it's over." + +"Over! What a word that is! A thing like that is over, and then all +the world cannot put it back again. What if he should be unhappy +after all?" + +"He must take his chance," said Bell, thinking within her own mind +that that chance would be a very bad one. + +"Of course he must take his chance. Well,--I'll get up now." And then +she took her first step out into the cold world beyond her bed. "We +must all take our chance. I have made up my mind that it will be at +half-past eleven." + +When half-past eleven came, she was seated in a large easy chair over +the drawing-room fire, with a little table by her side, on which a +novel was lying. She had not opened her book that morning, and had +been sitting for some time perfectly silent, with her eyes closed, +and her watch in her hand. + +"Mamma," she said at last, "it is over now, I'm sure." + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Mamma," she said at last, "it is over now, +I'm sure."] + + +"What is over, my dear?" + +"He has made that lady his wife. I hope God will bless them, and I +pray that they may be happy." As she spoke these words, there was an +unwonted solemnity in her tone which startled Mrs. Dale and Bell. + +"I also will hope so," said Mrs. Dale. "And now, Lily, will it not +be well that you should turn your mind away from the subject, and +endeavour to think of other things?" + +"But I can't, mamma. It is so easy to say that; but people can't +choose their own thoughts." + +"They can usually direct them as they will, if they make the effort." + +"But I can't make the effort. Indeed, I don't know why I should. It +seems natural to me to think about him, and I don't suppose it can +be very wrong. When you have had so deep an interest in a person, +you can't drop him all of a sudden." Then there was again silence, +and after a while Lily took up her novel. She made that effort of +which her mother had spoken, but she made it altogether in vain. "I +declare, Bell," she said, "it's the greatest rubbish I ever attempted +to read." This was specially ungrateful, because Bell had recommended +the book. "All the books have got to be so stupid! I think I'll read +Pilgrim's Progress again." + +"What do you say to Robinson Crusoe?" said Bell. + +"Or Paul and Virginia?" said Lily. "But I believe I'll have Pilgrim's +Progress. I never can understand it, but I rather think that makes it +nicer." + +"I hate books I can't understand," said Bell. "I like a book to be +clear as running water, so that the whole meaning may be seen at +once." + +"The quick seeing of the meaning must depend a little on the reader, +must it not?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"The reader mustn't be a fool, of course," said Bell. + +"But then so many readers are fools," said Lily. "And yet they get +something out of their reading. Mrs. Crump is always poring over the +Revelations, and nearly knows them by heart. I don't think she could +interpret a single image, but she has a hazy, misty idea of the +truth. That's why she likes it,--because it's too beautiful to be +understood; and that's why I like Pilgrim's Progress." After which +Bell offered to get the book in question. + +"No, not now," said Lily. "I'll go on with this, as you say it's so +grand. The personages are always in their tantrums, and go on as +though they were mad. Mamma, do you know where they're going for the +honeymoon?" + +"No, my dear." + +"He used to talk to me about going to the lakes." And then there was +another pause, during which Bell observed that her mother's face +became clouded with anxiety. "But I won't think of it any more," +continued Lily; "I will fix my mind to something." And then she got +up from her chair. "I don't think it would have been so difficult if +I had not been ill." + +"Of course it would not, my darling." + +"And I'm going to be well again now, immediately. Let me see: I was +told to read Carlyle's History of the French Revolution, and I think +I'll begin now." It was Crosbie who had told her to read the book, as +both Bell and Mrs. Dale were well aware. "But I must put it off till +I can get it down from the other house." + +"Jane shall fetch it, if you really want it," said Mrs. Dale. + +"Bell shall get it, when she goes up in the afternoon; will you, +Bell? And I'll try to get on with this stuff in the meantime." Then +again she sat with her eyes fixed upon the pages of the book. "I'll +tell you what, mamma,--you may have some comfort in this: that when +to-day's gone by, I shan't make a fuss about any other day." + +"Nobody thinks that you are making a fuss, Lily." + +"Yes, but I am. Isn't it odd, Bell, that it should take place on +Valentine's day? I wonder whether it was so settled on purpose, +because of the day. Oh, dear, I used to think so often of the letter +that I should get from him on this day, when he would tell me that I +was his valentine. Well; he's got another--valen--tine--now." So much +she said with articulate voice, and then she broke down, bursting out +into convulsive sobs, and crying in her mother's arms as though she +would break her heart. And yet her heart was not broken, and she +was still strong in that resolve which she had made, that her grief +should not overpower her. As she had herself said, the thing would +not have been so difficult, had she not been weakened by illness. + +"Lily, my darling; my poor, ill-used darling." + +"No, mamma, I won't be that." And she struggled grievously to get the +better of the hysterical attack which had overpowered her. "I won't +be regarded as ill-used; not as specially ill-used. But I am your +darling, your own darling. Only I wish you'd beat me and thump me +when I'm such a fool, instead of pitying me. It's a great mistake +being soft to people when they make fools of themselves. There, Bell; +there's your stupid book, and I won't have any more of it. I believe +it was that that did it." And she pushed the book away from her. + +After this little scene she said no further word about Crosbie and +his bride on that day, but turned the conversation towards the +prospect of their new house at Guestwick. + +"It will be a great comfort to be nearer Dr. Crofts; won't it, Bell?" + +"I don't know," said Bell. + +"Because if we are ill, he won't have such a terrible distance to +come." + +"That will be a comfort for him, I should think," said Bell, very +demurely. + +In the evening the first volume of the French Revolution had been +procured, and Lily stuck to her reading with laudable perseverance; +till at eight her mother insisted on her going to bed, queen as she +was. + +"I don't believe a bit, you know, that the king was such a bad man as +that," she said. + +"I do," said Bell. + +"Ah, that's because you're a radical. I never will believe that kings +are so much worse than other people. As for Charles the First, he was +about the best man in history." + +This was an old subject of dispute; but Lily on the present occasion +was allowed her own way,--as being an invalid. + + + + +CHAPTER XLV. + +VALENTINE'S DAY IN LONDON. + + +The fourteenth of February in London was quite as black, and cold, +and as wintersome as it was at Allington, and was, perhaps, somewhat +more melancholy in its coldness. Nevertheless Lady Alexandrina De +Courcy looked as bright as bridal finery could make her, when she +got out of her carriage and walked into St. James's church at eleven +o'clock on that morning. + +It had been finally arranged that the marriage should take place in +London. There were certainly many reasons which would have made a +marriage from Courcy Castle more convenient. The De Courcy family +were all assembled at their country family residence, and could +therefore have been present at the ceremony without cost or trouble. +The castle too was warm with the warmth of life, and the pleasantness +of home would have lent a grace to the departure of one of the +daughters of the house. The retainers and servants were there, and +something of the rich mellowness of a noble alliance might have been +felt, at any rate by Crosbie, at a marriage so celebrated. And it +must have been acknowledged, even by Lady De Courcy, that the house +in Portman Square was very cold--that a marriage from thence would +be cold,--that there could be no hope of attaching to it any honour +and glory, or of making it resound with fashionable eclat in the +columns of the _Morning Post_. But then, had they been married in +the country, the earl would have been there; whereas there was no +probability of his travelling up to London for the purpose of being +present on such an occasion. + +The earl was very terrible in these days, and Alexandrina, as she +became confidential in her communications with her future husband, +spoke of him as of an ogre, who could not by any means be avoided +in all the concerns of life, but whom one might shun now and +again by some subtle device and careful arrangement of favourable +circumstances. Crosbie had more than once taken upon himself to hint +that he did not specially regard the ogre, seeing that for the future +he could keep himself altogether apart from the malicious monster's +dominions. + +"He will not come to me in our new home," he had said to his love, +with some little touch of affection. But to this view of the case +Lady Alexandrina had demurred. The ogre in question was not only her +parent, but was also a noble peer, and she could not agree to any +arrangement by which their future connection with the earl, and with +nobility in general, might be endangered. Her parent, doubtless, was +an ogre, and in his ogreship could make himself very terrible to +those near him; but then might it not be better for them to be near +to an earl who was an ogre, than not to be near to any earl at all? +She had therefore signified to Crosbie that the ogre must be endured. + +But, nevertheless, it was a great thing to be rid of him on that +happy occasion. He would have said very dreadful things,--things so +dreadful that there might have been a question whether the bridegroom +could have borne them. Since he had heard of Crosbie's accident at +the railway station, he had constantly talked with fiendish glee of +the beating which had been administered to his son-in-law. Lady De +Courcy in taking Crosbie's part, and maintaining that the match was +fitting for her daughter, had ventured to declare before her husband +that Crosbie was a man of fashion, and the earl would now ask, with +a loathsome grin, whether the bridegroom's fashion had been improved +by his little adventure at Paddington. Crosbie, to whom all this was +not repeated, would have preferred a wedding in the country. But the +countess and Lady Alexandrina knew better. + +The earl had strictly interdicted any expenditure, and the countess +had of necessity construed this as forbidding any unnecessary +expense. "To marry a girl without any immediate cost was a thing +which nobody could understand," as the countess remarked to her +eldest daughter. + +"I would really spend as little as possible," Lady Amelia had +answered. "You see, mamma, there are circumstances about it which one +doesn't wish to have talked about just at present. There's the story +of that girl,--and then that fracas at the station. I really think +it ought to be as quiet as possible." The good sense of Lady Amelia +was not to be disputed, as her mother acknowledged. But then if +the marriage were managed in any notoriously quiet way, the very +notoriety of that quiet would be as dangerous as an attempt at loud +glory. "But it won't cost as much," said Amelia. And thus it had been +resolved that the wedding should be very quiet. + +To this Crosbie had assented very willingly, though he had not +relished the manner in which the countess had explained to him her +views. + +"I need not tell you, Adolphus," she had said, "how thoroughly +satisfied I am with this marriage. My dear girl feels that she can be +happy as your wife, and what more can I want? I declared to her and +to Amelia that I was not ambitious, for their sakes, and have allowed +them both to please themselves." + +"I hope they have pleased themselves," said Crosbie. + +"I trust so; but nevertheless,--I don't know whether I make myself +understood?" + +"Quite so, Lady De Courcy. If Alexandrina were going to marry the +eldest son of a marquis, you would have a longer procession to church +than will be necessary when she marries me." + +"You put it in such an odd way, Adolphus." + +"It's all right so long as we understand each other. I can assure you +I don't want any procession at all. I should be quite contented to go +down with Alexandrina, arm in arm, like Darby and Joan, and let the +clerk give her away." + +We may say that he would have been much better contented could he +have been allowed to go down the street without any encumbrance on +his arm. But there was no possibility now for such deliverance as +that. + +Both Lady Amelia and Mr. Gazebee had long since discovered the +bitterness of his heart and the fact of his repentance, and Gazebee +had ventured to suggest to his wife that his noble sister-in-law was +preparing for herself a life of misery. + +"He'll become quiet and happy when he's used to it," Lady Amelia had +replied, thinking, perhaps, of her own experiences. + +"I don't know, my dear; he's not a quiet man. There's something in +his eye which tells me that he could be very hard to a woman." + +"It has gone too far now for any change," Lady Amelia had answered. + +"Well; perhaps it has." + +"And I know my sister so well; she would not hear of it. I really +think they will do very well when they become used to each other." + +Mr. Gazebee, who also had had his own experiences, hardly dared to +hope so much. His home had been satisfactory to him, because he had +been a calculating man, and having made his calculation correctly +was willing to take the net result. He had done so all his life with +success. In his house his wife was paramount,--as he very well knew. +But no effort on his wife's part, had she wished to make such effort, +could have forced him to spend more than two-thirds of his income. +Of this she also was aware, and had trimmed her sails accordingly, +likening herself to him in this respect. But of such wisdom, and such +trimmings, and such adaptability, what likelihood was there with Mr. +Crosbie and Lady Alexandrina? + +"At any rate, it is too late now," said Lady Amelia, thus concluding +the conversation. + +But nevertheless, when the last moment came, there was some little +attempt at glory. Who does not know the way in which a lately +married couple's little dinner-party stretches itself out from the +pure simplicity of a fried sole and a leg of mutton to the attempt +at clear soup, the unfortunately cold dish of round balls which +is handed about after the sole, and the brightly red jelly, and +beautifully pink cream, which are ordered, in the last agony of +ambition, from the next pastrycook's shop? + +"We cannot give a dinner, my dear, with only cook and Sarah." + +It has thus begun, and the husband has declared that he has no such +idea. "If Phipps and Dowdney can come here and eat a bit of mutton, +they are very welcome; if not, let them stay away. And you might as +well ask Phipps's sister; just to have some one to go with you into +the drawing-room." + +"I'd much rather go alone, because then I can read,"--or sleep, we +may say. + +But her husband has explained that she would look friendless in this +solitary state, and therefore Phipps's sister has been asked. Then +the dinner has progressed down to those costly jellies which have +been ordered in a last agony. There has been a conviction on the +minds of both of them that the simple leg of mutton would have been +more jolly for them all. Had those round balls not been carried about +by a hired man; had simple mutton with hot potatoes been handed to +Miss Phipps by Sarah, Miss Phipps would not have simpered with such +unmeaning stiffness when young Dowdney spoke to her. They would have +been much more jolly. "Have a bit more mutton, Phipps; and where +do you like it?" How pleasant it sounds! But we all know that it +is impossible. My young friend had intended this, but his dinner +had run itself away to cold round balls and coloured forms from the +pastrycook. And so it was with the Crosbie marriage. + +The bride must leave the church in a properly appointed carriage, and +the postboys must have wedding favours. So the thing grew; not into +noble proportions, not into proportions of true glory, justifying +the attempt and making good the gala. A well-cooked rissole, brought +pleasantly to you, is good eating. A gala marriage, when everything +is in keeping, is excellent sport. Heaven forbid that we should +have no gala marriages. But the small spasmodic attempt, made in +opposition to manifest propriety, made with an inner conviction of +failure,--that surely should be avoided in marriages, in dinners, and +in all affairs of life. + +There were bridesmaids and there was a breakfast. Both Margaretta and +Rosina came up to London for the occasion, as did also a first cousin +of theirs, one Miss Gresham, a lady whose father lived in the same +county. Mr. Gresham had married a sister of Lord De Courcy's, and his +services were also called into requisition. He was brought up to give +away the bride, because the earl,--as the paragraph in the newspaper +declared,--was confined at Courcy Castle by his old hereditary enemy, +the gout. A fourth bridesmaid also was procured, and thus there was +a bevy, though not so large a bevy as is now generally thought to be +desirable. There were only three or four carriages at the church, but +even three or four were something. The weather was so frightfully +cold that the light-coloured silks of the ladies carried with them +a show of discomfort. Girls should be very young to look nice in +light dresses on a frosty morning, and the bridesmaids at Lady +Alexandrina's wedding were not very young. Lady Rosina's nose was +decidedly red. Lady Margaretta was very wintry, and apparently very +cross. Miss Gresham was dull, tame, and insipid; and the Honourable +Miss O'Flaherty, who filled the fourth place, was sulky at finding +that she had been invited to take a share in so very lame a +performance. + +But the marriage was made good, and Crosbie bore up against his +misfortunes like a man. Montgomerie Dobbs and Fowler Pratt both stood +by him, giving him, let us hope, some assurance that he was not +absolutely deserted by all the world,--that he had not given himself +up, bound hand and foot, to the De Courcys, to be dealt with in all +matters as they might please. It was that feeling which had been so +grievous to him,--and that other feeling, cognate to it, that if he +should ultimately succeed in rebelling against the De Courcys, he +would find himself a solitary man. + +"Yes; I shall go," Fowler Pratt had said to Montgomerie Dobbs. +"I always stick to a fellow if I can. Crosbie has behaved like a +blackguard, and like a fool also; and he knows that I think so. But I +don't see why I should drop him on that account. I shall go as he has +asked me." + +"So shall I," said Montgomerie Dobbs, who considered that he would be +safe in doing whatever Fowler Pratt did, and who remarked to himself +that after all Crosbie was marrying the daughter of an earl. + +Then, after the marriage, came the breakfast, at which the countess +presided with much noble magnificence. She had not gone to church, +thinking, no doubt, that she would be better able to maintain her +good humour at the feast, if she did not subject herself to the +chance of lumbago in the church. At the foot of the table sat Mr. +Gresham, her brother-in-law, who had undertaken to give the necessary +toast and make the necessary speech. The Honourable John was there, +saying all manner of ill-natured things about his sister and new +brother-in-law, because he had been excluded from his proper position +at the foot of the table. But Alexandrina had declared that she would +not have the matter entrusted to her brother. The Honourable George +would not come, because the countess had not asked his wife. + +"Maria may be slow, and all that sort of thing," George had said; +"but she is my wife. And she had got what they haven't. Love me, love +my dog, you know." So he had stayed down at Courcy,--very properly as +I think. + +Alexandrina had wished to go away before breakfast, and Crosbie would +not have cared how early an escape had been provided for him; but +the countess had told her daughter that if she would not wait for +the breakfast, there should be no breakfast at all, and in fact no +wedding; nothing but a simple marriage. Had there been a grand party, +that going away of the bride and bridegroom might be very well; but +the countess felt that on such an occasion as this nothing but the +presence of the body of the sacrifice could give any reality to +the festivity. So Crosbie and Lady Alexandrina Crosbie heard Mr. +Gresham's speech, in which he prophesied for the young couple an +amount of happiness and prosperity almost greater than is compatible +with the circumstances of humanity. His young friend Crosbie, whose +acquaintance he had been delighted to make, was well known as one +of the rising pillars of the State. Whether his future career might +be parliamentary, or devoted to the permanent Civil Service of the +country, it would be alike great, noble, and prosperous. As to his +dear niece, who was now filling that position in life which was +most beautiful and glorious for a young woman,--she could not +have done better. She had preferred genius to wealth,--so said Mr. +Gresham,--and she would find her fitting reward. As to her finding +her fitting reward, whatever her preferences may have been, there Mr. +Gresham was no doubt quite right. On that head I myself have no doubt +whatever. After that Crosbie returned thanks, making a much better +speech than nine men do out of ten on such occasions, and then the +thing was over. No other speaking was allowed, and within half an +hour from that time, he and his bride were in the post-chaise, being +carried away to the Folkestone railway station; for that place had +been chosen as the scene of their honeymoon. It had been at one time +intended that the journey to Folkestone should be made simply as the +first stage to Paris, but Paris and all foreign travelling had been +given up by degrees. + +"I don't care a bit about France,--we have been there so often," +Alexandrina said. + +She had wished to be taken to Naples, but Crosbie had made her +understand at the first whispering of the word, that Naples was quite +out of the question. He must look now in all things to money. From +the very first outset of his career he must save a shilling wherever +a shilling could be saved. To this view of life no opposition was +made by the De Courcy interest. Lady Amelia had explained to her +sister that they ought so to do their honeymooning that it should not +cost more than if they began keeping house at once. Certain things +must be done which, no doubt, were costly in their nature. The bride +must take with her a well-dressed lady's-maid. The rooms at the +Folkestone hotel must be large, and on the first floor. A carriage +must be hired for her use while she remained; but every shilling must +be saved the spending of which would not make itself apparent to the +outer world. Oh, deliver us from the poverty of those who, with small +means, affect a show of wealth! There is no whitening equal to that +of sepulchres whited as they are whited! + +By the proper administration of a slight bribe Crosbie secured +for himself and his wife a compartment in the railway carriage to +themselves. And as he seated himself opposite to Alexandrina, having +properly tucked her up with all her bright-coloured trappings, he +remembered that he had never in truth been alone with her before. +He had danced with her frequently, and been left with her for a few +minutes between the figures. He had flirted with her in crowded +drawing-rooms, and had once found a moment at Courcy Castle to tell +her that he was willing to marry her in spite of his engagement with +Lilian Dale. But he had never walked with her for hours together as +he had walked with Lily. He had never talked to her about government, +and politics, and books, nor had she talked to him of poetry, of +religion, and of the little duties and comforts of life. He had known +the Lady Alexandrina for the last six or seven years; but he had +never known her,--perhaps never would know her,--as he had learned to +know Lily Dale within the space of two months. + +And now that she was his wife, what was he to say to her? They +two had commenced a partnership which was to make of them for the +remaining term of their lives one body and one flesh. They were to +be all-in-all to each other. But how was he to begin this all-in-all +partnership? Had the priest, with his blessing, done it so +sufficiently that no other doing on Crosbie's own part was necessary? +There she was, opposite to him, his very actual wife,--bone of his +bone; and what was he to say to her? As he settled himself on his +seat, taking over his own knees a part of a fine fur rug trimmed with +scarlet, with which he had covered her other mufflings, he bethought +himself how much easier it would have been to talk to Lily. And Lily +would have been ready with all her ears, and all her mind, and all +her wit, to enter quickly upon whatever thoughts had occurred to him. +In that respect Lily would have been a wife indeed,--a wife that +would have transferred herself with quick mental activity into her +husband's mental sphere. Had he begun about his office Lily would +have been ready for him, but Alexandrina had never yet asked him a +single question about his official life. Had he been prepared with a +plan for to-morrow's happiness Lily would have taken it up eagerly, +but Alexandrina never cared for such trifles. + +"Are you quite comfortable?" he said, at last. + +"Oh, yes, quite, thank you. By-the-by, what did you do with my +dressing-case?" + +And that question she did ask with some energy. + +"It is under you. You can have it as foot-stool if you like it." + +"Oh, no; I should scratch it. I was afraid that if Hannah had it, +it might be lost." Then again there was silence, and Crosbie again +considered as to what he would next say to his wife. + +We all know the advice given us of old as to what we should do +under such circumstances; and who can be so thoroughly justified in +following that advice as a newly-married husband? So he put out his +hand for hers and drew her closer to him. + +"Take care of my bonnet," she said, as she felt the motion of the +railway carriage when he kissed her. I don't think he kissed her +again till he had landed her and her bonnet safely at Folkestone. How +often would he have kissed Lily, and how pretty would her bonnet have +been when she reached the end of her journey, and how delightfully +happy would she have looked when she scolded him for bending it! But +Alexandrina was quite in earnest about her bonnet; by far too much in +earnest for any appearance of happiness. + +So he sat without speaking, till the train came to the tunnel. + +"I do so hate tunnels," said Alexandrina. + +He had half intended to put out his hand again, under some mistaken +idea that the tunnel afforded him an opportunity. The whole journey +was one long opportunity, had he desired it; but his wife hated +tunnels, and so he drew his hand back again. Lily's little fingers +would have been ready for his touch. He thought of this, and could +not help thinking of it. + +He had _The Times_ newspaper in his dressing-bag. She also had a +novel with her. Would she be offended if he took out the paper and +read it? The miles seemed to pass by very slowly, and there was still +another hour down to Folkestone. He longed for his _Times_, but +resolved at last that he would not read unless she read first. She +also had remembered her novel; but by nature she was more patient +than he, and she thought that on such a journey any reading might +perhaps be almost improper. So she sat tranquilly, with her eyes +fixed on the netting over her husband's head. + +At last he could stand it no longer, and he dashed off into a +conversation, intended to be most affectionate and serious. + +"Alexandrina," he said, and his voice was well-tuned for the tender +serious manner, had her ears been alive to such tuning. "Alexandrina, +this is a very important step that you and I have taken to-day." + +"Yes; it is, indeed," said she. + +"I trust we shall succeed in making each other happy." + +"Yes; I hope we shall." + +"If we both think seriously of it, and remember that that is our +chief duty, we shall do so." + +"Yes, I suppose we shall. I only hope we shan't find the house very +cold. It is so new, and I am so subject to colds in my head. Amelia +says we shall find it very cold; but then she was always against our +going there." + +"The house will do very well," said Crosbie. And Alexandrina could +perceive that there was something of the master in his tone as he +spoke. + +"I am only telling you what Amelia said," she replied. + +Had Lily been his bride, and had he spoken to her of their future +life and mutual duties, how she would have kindled to the theme! +She would have knelt at his feet on the floor of the carriage, +and, looking up into his face, would have promised him to do her +best,--her best,--her very best. And with what an eagerness of inward +resolution would she have determined to keep her promise. He thought +of all this now, but he knew that he ought not to think of it. Then, +for some quarter of an hour, he did take out his newspaper, and she, +when she saw him do so, did take out her novel. + +He took out his newspaper, but he could not fix his mind upon the +politics of the day. Had he not made a terrible mistake? Of what +use to him in life would be that thing of a woman that sat opposite +to him? Had not a great punishment come upon him, and had he not +deserved the punishment? In truth, a great punishment had come +upon him. It was not only that he had married a woman incapable of +understanding the higher duties of married life, but that he himself +would have been capable of appreciating the value of a woman who +did understand them. He would have been happy with Lily Dale; and +therefore we may surmise that his unhappiness with Lady Alexandrina +would be the greater. There are men who, in marrying such as Lady +Alexandrina De Courcy, would get the article best suited to them, +as Mortimer Gazebee had done in marrying her sister. Miss Griselda +Grantly, who had become Lady Dumbello, though somewhat colder and +somewhat cleverer than Lady Alexandrina, had been of the same sort. +But in marrying her, Lord Dumbello had got the article best suited +to him;--if only the ill-natured world would allow him to keep +the article. It was in this that Crosbie's failure had been so +grievous,--that he had seen and approved the better course, but had +chosen for himself to walk in that which was worse. During that week +at Courcy Castle,--the week which he passed there immediately after +his second visit to Allington,--he had deliberately made up his mind +that he was more fit for the bad course than for the good one. The +course was now before him, and he had no choice but to walk in it. + +It was very cold when they got to Folkestone, and Lady Alexandrina +shivered as she stepped into the private-looking carriage which had +been sent to the station for her use. + +"We shall find a good fire in the parlour at the hotel," said +Crosbie. + +"Oh, I hope so," said Alexandrina, "and in the bedroom too." + +The young husband felt himself to be offended, but he hardly knew +why. He felt himself to be offended, and with difficulty induced +himself to go through all those little ceremonies the absence +of which would have been remarked by everybody. He did his work, +however, seeing to all her shawls and wrappings, speaking with +good-nature to Hannah, and paying special attention to the +dressing-case. + +"What time would you like to dine?" he asked, as he prepared to leave +her alone with Hannah in the bedroom. + +"Whenever you please; only I should like some tea and +bread-and-butter presently." + +Crosbie went into the sitting-room, ordered the tea and +bread-and-butter, ordered also the dinner, and then stood himself up +with his back to the fire, in order that he might think a little of +his future career. + +He was a man who had long since resolved that his life should be a +success. It would seem that all men would so resolve, if the matter +were simply one of resolution. But the majority of men, as I take it, +make no such resolution, and very many men resolve that they will +be unsuccessful. Crosbie, however, had resolved on success, and had +done much towards carrying out his purpose. He had made a name for +himself, and had acquired a certain fame. That, however, was, as he +acknowledged to himself, departing from him. He looked the matter +straight in the face, and told himself that his fashion must be +abandoned; but the office remained to him. He might still rule over +Mr. Optimist, and make a subservient slave of Butterwell. That must +be his line in life now, and to that line he would endeavour to +be true. As to his wife and his home,--he would look to them for +his breakfast, and perhaps his dinner. He would have a comfortable +arm-chair, and if Alexandrina should become a mother, he would +endeavour to love his children; but above all things he would never +think of Lily. After that he stood and thought of her for half an +hour. + +"If you please, sir, my lady wants to know at what time you have +ordered dinner." + +"At seven, Hannah." + +"My lady says she is very tired, and will lie down till dinner-time." + +"Very well, Hannah. I will go into her room when it is time to dress. +I hope they are making you comfortable downstairs?" + +Then Crosbie strolled out on the pier in the dusk of the cold winter +evening. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVI. + +JOHN EAMES AT HIS OFFICE. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +Mr. Crosbie and his wife went upon their honeymoon tour to Folkestone +in the middle of February, and returned to London about the end +of March. Nothing of special moment to the interests of our story +occurred during those six weeks, unless the proceedings of the +young married couple by the sea-side may be thought to have any +special interest. With regard to those proceedings I can only say +that Crosbie was very glad when they were brought to a close. All +holiday-making is hard work, but holiday-making with nothing to do is +the hardest work of all. At the end of March they went into their new +house, and we will hope that Lady Alexandrina did not find it very +cold. + +During this time Lily's recovery from her illness was being +completed. She had no relapse, nor did anything occur to create a new +fear on her account. But, nevertheless, Dr. Crofts gave it as his +opinion that it would be inexpedient to move her into a fresh house +at Lady-day. March is not a kindly month for invalids; and therefore +with some regret on the part of Mrs. Dale, with much impatience on +that of Bell, and with considerable outspoken remonstrance from Lily +herself, the squire was requested to let them remain through the +month of April. How the squire received this request, and in what way +he assented to the doctor's reasoning, will be told in the course of +a chapter or two. + +In the meantime John Eames had continued his career in London without +much immediate satisfaction to himself, or to the lady who boasted to +be his heart's chosen queen. Miss Amelia Roper, indeed, was becoming +very cross, and in her ill-temper was playing a game that was tending +to create a frightful amount of hot water in Burton Crescent. She was +devoting herself to a flirtation with Mr. Cradell, not only under the +immediate eyes of Johnny Eames, but also under those of Mrs. Lupex. +John Eames, the blockhead, did not like it. He was above all things +anxious to get rid of Amelia and her claims; so anxious, that on +certain moody occasions he would threaten himself with diverse +tragical terminations to his career in London. He would enlist. He +would go to Australia. He would blow out his brains. He would have +"an explanation" with Amelia, tell her that she was a vixen, and +proclaim his hatred. He would rush down to Allington and throw +himself in despair at Lily's feet. Amelia was the bugbear of his +life. Nevertheless, when she flirted with Cradell, he did not like +it, and was ass enough to speak to Cradell about it. + +"Of course I don't care," he said, "only it seems to me that you are +making a fool of yourself." + +"I thought you wanted to get rid of her." + +"She's nothing on earth to me; only it does, you know--" + +"Does do what?" asked Cradell. + +"Why, if I was to be fal-lalling with that married woman, you +wouldn't like it. That's all about it. Do you mean to marry her?" + +"What!--Amelia?" + +"Yes; Amelia." + +"Not if I know it." + +"Then if I were you I would leave her alone. She's only making a fool +of you." + +Eames's advice may have been good, and the view taken by him of +Amelia's proceedings may have been correct; but as regarded his own +part in the affair, he was not wise. Miss Roper, no doubt, wished to +make him jealous; and she succeeded in the teeth of his aversion to +her and of his love elsewhere. He had no desire to say soft things +to Miss Roper. Miss Roper, with all her skill, could not extract a +word pleasantly soft from him once a week. But, nevertheless, soft +words to her and from her in another quarter made him uneasy. Such +being the case, must we not acknowledge that John Eames was still +floundering in the ignorance of his hobbledehoyhood? + +The Lupexes at this time still held their ground in the Crescent, +although repeated warnings to go had been given them. Mrs. Roper, +though she constantly spoke of sacrificing all that they owed her, +still hankered, with a natural hankering, after her money. And as +each warning was accompanied by a demand for payment, and usually +produced some slight subsidy on account, the thing went on from week +to week; and at the beginning of April Mr. and Mrs. Lupex were still +boarders at Mrs. Roper's house. + +Eames had heard nothing from Allington since the time of his +Christmas visit, and his subsequent correspondence with Lord De +Guest. In his letters from his mother he was told that game came +frequently from Guestwick Manor, and in this way he knew that he +was not forgotten by the earl. But of Lily he had heard not a +word,--except, indeed, the rumour, which had now become general, that +the Dales from the Small House were about to move themselves into +Guestwick. When first he learned this he construed the tidings as +favourable to himself, thinking that Lily, removed from the grandeur +of Allington, might possibly be more easily within his reach; but, +latterly, he had given up any such hope as that, and was telling +himself that his friend at the Manor had abandoned all idea of making +up the marriage. Three months had already elapsed since his visit. +Five months had passed since Crosbie had surrendered his claim. +Surely such a knave as Crosbie might be forgotten in five months! +If any steps could have been taken through the squire, surely three +months would have sufficed for them! It was very manifest to him +that there was no ground of hope for him at Allington, and it would +certainly be well for him to go off to Australia. He would go to +Australia, but he would thrash Cradell first for having dared to +interfere with Amelia Roper. That, generally, was the state of his +mind during the first week in April. + +Then there came to him a letter from the earl which instantly +effected a great change in all his feelings; which taught him to +regard Australia as a dream, and almost put him into a good humour +with Cradell. The earl had by no means lost sight of his friend's +interests at Allington; and, moreover, those interests were now +backed by an ally who in this matter must be regarded as much more +powerful than the earl. The squire had given in his consent to the +Eames alliance. + +The earl's letter was as follows:-- + + + Guestwick Manor, April 7, 18--. + + MY DEAR JOHN, + + I told you to write to me again, and you haven't done it. + I saw your mother the other day, or else you might have + been dead for anything I knew. A young man always ought to + write letters when he is told to do so. + +Eames, when he had got so far, felt himself rather aggrieved by this +rebuke, knowing that he had abstained from writing to his patron +simply from an unwillingness to intrude upon him with his letters. +"By Jove, I'll write to him every week of his life, till he's sick of +me," Johnny said to himself when he found himself thus instructed as +to a young man's duties. + + And now I have got to tell you a long story, and I should + like it much better if you were down here, so that I + might save myself the trouble; but you would think me + ill-natured if I were to keep you waiting. I happened to + meet Mr. Dale the other day, and he said that he should be + very glad if a certain young lady would make up her mind + to listen to a certain young friend of mine. So I asked + him what he meant to do about the young lady's fortune, + and he declared himself willing to give her a hundred a + year during his life, and to settle four thousand pounds + upon her after his death. I said that I would do as much + on my part by the young man; but as two hundred a year, + with your salary, would hardly give you enough to begin + with, I'll make mine a hundred and fifty. You'll be + getting up in your office soon, and with five hundred a + year you ought to be able to get along; especially as you + need not insure your life. I should live somewhere near + Bloomsbury Square at first, because I'm told you can get + a house for nothing. After all, what's fashion worth? You + can bring your wife down here in the autumn, and have some + shooting. She won't let you go to sleep under the trees, + I'll be bound. + + But you must look after the young lady. You will + understand that no one has said a word to her about it; + or, if they have, I don't know it. You'll find the squire + on your side, that's all. Couldn't you manage to come down + this Easter? Tell old Buffle, with my compliments, that I + want you. I'll write to him if you like it. I did know him + at one time, though I can't say I was ever very fond of + him. It stands to reason that you can't get on with Miss + Lily without seeing her; unless, indeed, you like better + to write to her, which always seems to me to be very poor + sort of fun. You'd much better come down, and go a-wooing + in the regular old-fashioned way. I need not tell you + that Lady Julia will be delighted to see you. You are a + prime favourite with her since that affair at the railway + station. She thinks a great deal more about that than she + does about the bull. + + Now, my dear fellow, you know all about it, and I shall + take it very much amiss of you if you don't answer my + letter soon. + + Your very sincere friend, + + DE GUEST. + + +When Eames had finished this letter, sitting at his office-desk, his +surprise and elation were so great that he hardly knew where he was +or what he ought to do. Could it be the truth that Lily's uncle had +not only consented that the match should be made, but that he had +also promised to give his niece a considerable fortune? For a few +minutes it seemed to Johnny as though all obstacles to his happiness +were removed, and that there was no impediment between him and an +amount of bliss of which he had hitherto hardly dared to dream. Then, +when he considered the earl's munificence, he almost cried. He found +that he could not compose his mind to think, or even his hand to +write. He did not know whether it would be right in him to accept +such pecuniary liberality from any living man, and almost thought +that he should feel himself bound to reject the earl's offer. As to +the squire's money, that he knew he might accept. All that comes in +the shape of a young woman's fortune may be taken by any man. + +He would certainly answer the earl's letter, and that at once. He +would not leave the office till he had done so. His friend should +have cause to bring no further charge against him of that kind. And +then again he reverted to the injustice which had been done to him in +the matter of letter-writing--as if that consideration were of moment +in such a state of circumstances as was now existing. But at last +his thoughts brought themselves to the real question at issue. Would +Lily Dale accept him? After all, the realization of his good fortune +depended altogether upon her feelings; and, as he remembered this, +his mind misgave him sorely. It was filled not only with a young +lover's ordinary doubts,--with the fear and trembling incidental to +the bashfulness of hobbledehoyhood--but with an idea that that affair +with Crosbie would still stand in his way. He did not, perhaps, +rightly understand all that Lily had suffered, but he conceived it +to be probable that there had been wounds which even the last five +months might not yet have cured. Could it be that she would allow him +to cure these wounds? As he thought of this he felt almost crushed +to the earth by an indomitable bashfulness and conviction of his own +unworthiness. What had he to offer worthy of the acceptance of such a +girl as Lilian Dale? + +I fear that the Crown did not get out of John Eames an adequate +return for his salary on that day. So adequate, however, had been the +return given by him for some time past, that promotion was supposed +throughout the Income-tax Office to be coming in his way, much to +the jealousy of Cradell, Fisher, and others, his immediate compeers +and cronies. And the place assigned to him by rumour was one which +was generally regarded as a perfect Elysium upon earth in the Civil +Service world. He was, so rumour said, to become private secretary to +the First Commissioner. He would be removed by such a change as this +from the large uncarpeted room in which he at present sat; occupying +the same desk with another man to whom he had felt himself to be +ignominiously bound, as dogs must feel when they are coupled. This +room had been the bear-garden of the office. Twelve or fourteen +men sat in it. Large pewter pots were brought into it daily at one +o'clock, giving it an air that was not aristocratic. The senior +of the room, one Mr. Love, who was presumed to have it under his +immediate dominion, was a clerk of the ancient stamp, dull, heavy, +unambitious, living out on the farther side of Islington, and unknown +beyond the limits of his office to any of his younger brethren. +He was generally regarded as having given a bad tone to the room. +And then the clerks in this room would not unfrequently be blown +up,--with very palpable blowings up,--by an official swell, a certain +chief clerk, named Kissing, much higher in standing though younger in +age than the gentleman of whom we have before spoken. He would hurry +in, out of his own neighbouring chamber, with quick step and nose in +the air, shuffling in his office slippers, looking on each occasion +as though there were some cause to fear that the whole Civil Service +were coming to an abrupt termination, and would lay about him with +hard words, which some of those in the big room did not find it very +easy to bear. His hair was always brushed straight up, his eyes were +always very wide open,--and he usually carried a big letter-book with +him, keeping in it a certain place with his finger. This book was +almost too much for his strength, and he would flop it down, now on +this man's desk and now on that man's, and in a long career of such +floppings had made himself to be very much hated. On the score of +some old grudge he and Mr. Love did not speak to each other; and for +this reason, on all occasions of fault-finding, the blown-up young +man would refer Mr. Kissing to his enemy. + +"I know nothing about it," Mr. Love would say, not lifting his face +from his desk for a moment. + +"I shall certainly lay the matter before the Board," Mr. Kissing +would reply, and would then shuffle out of the room with the big +book. + +Sometimes Mr. Kissing would lay the matter before the Board, and +then he, and Mr. Love, and two or three delinquent clerks would be +summoned thither. It seldom led to much. The delinquent clerks would +be cautioned. One Commissioner would say a word in private to Mr. +Love, and another a word in private to Mr. Kissing. Then, when left +alone, the Commissioners would have their little jokes, saying that +Kissing, they feared, went by favour; and that Love should still be +lord of all. But these things were done in the mild days, before Sir +Raffle Buffle came to the Board. + +There had been some fun in this at first; but of late John Eames had +become tired of it. He disliked Mr. Kissing, and the big book out +of which Mr. Kissing was always endeavouring to convict him of some +official sin, and had got tired of that joke of setting Kissing +and Love by the ears together. When the Assistant Secretary first +suggested to him that Sir Raffle had an idea of selecting him as +private secretary, and when he remembered the cosy little room, all +carpeted, with a leathern arm-chair and a separate washing-stand, +which in such case would be devoted to his use, and remembered +also that he would be put into receipt of an additional hundred a +year, and would stand in the way of still better promotion, he was +overjoyed. But there were certain drawbacks. The present private +secretary,--who had been private secretary also to the late First +Commissioner,--was giving up his Elysium because he could not endure +the tones of Sir Raffle's voice. It was understood that Sir Raffle +required rather more of a private secretary, in the way of obsequious +attendance, than was desirable, and Eames almost doubted his own +fitness for the place. + +"And why should he choose me?" he had asked the Assistant Secretary. + +"Well, we have talked it over together, and I think that he prefers +you to any other that has been named." + +"But he was so very hard upon me about the affair at the railway +station." + +"I think he has heard more about that since; I think that some +message has reached him from your friend, Earl De Guest." + +"Oh, indeed!" said Johnny, beginning to comprehend what it was to +have an earl for his friend. Since his acquaintance with the nobleman +had commenced, he had studiously avoided all mention of the earl's +name at his office; and yet he received almost daily intimation that +the fact was well known there, and not a little considered. + +"But he is so very rough," said Johnny. + +"You can put up with that," said his friend the Assistant Secretary. +"His bark is worse than his bite, as you know; and then a hundred a +year is worth having." Eames was at that moment inclined to take a +gloomy view of life in general, and was disposed to refuse the place, +should it be offered to him. He had not then received the earl's +letter; but now, as he sat with that letter open before him, lying +in the drawer beneath his desk so that he could still read it as he +leaned back in his chair, he was enabled to look at things in general +through a different atmosphere. In the first place, Lilian Dale's +husband ought to have a room to himself, with a carpet and an +arm-chair; and then that additional hundred a year would raise his +income at once to the sum as to which the earl had made some sort of +stipulation. But could he get that leave of absence at Easter? If he +consented to be Sir Raffle's private secretary, he would make that a +part of the bargain. + +At this moment the door of the big room was opened, and Mr. Kissing +shuffled in with very quick little steps. He shuffled in, and coming +direct up to John's desk, flopped his ledger down upon it before its +owner had had time to close the drawer which contained the precious +letter. + +"What have you got in that drawer, Mr. Eames?" + +"A private letter, Mr. Kissing." + +"Oh;--a private letter!" said Mr. Kissing, feeling strongly convinced +there was a novel hidden there, but not daring to express his belief. +"I have been half the morning, Mr. Eames, looking for this letter +to the Admiralty, and you've put it under S!" A bystander listening +to Mr. Kissing's tone would have been led to believe that the whole +Income-tax Office was jeopardized by the terrible iniquity thus +disclosed. + +"Somerset House," pleaded Johnny. + +"Psha;--Somerset House! Half the offices in London--" + +"You'd better ask Mr. Love," said Eames. "It's all done under his +special instructions." Mr. Kissing looked at Mr. Love, and Mr. +Love looked steadfastly at his desk. "Mr. Love knows all about the +indexing," continued Johnny. "He's index master general to the +department." + +"No, I'm not, Mr. Eames," said Mr. Love, who rather liked John Eames, +and hated Mr. Kissing with his whole heart. "But I believe the +indexes, on the whole, are very well done in this room. Some people +don't know how to find letters." + +"Mr. Eames," began Mr. Kissing, still pointing with a finger of +bitter reproach to the misused S, and beginning an oration which was +intended for the benefit of the whole room, and for the annihilation +of old Mr. Love, "if you have yet to learn that the word Admiralty +begins with A and not with S, you have much to learn which should +have been acquired before you first came into this office. Somerset +House is not a department." Then he turned round to the room at +large, and repeated the last words, as though they might become very +useful if taken well to heart--"Is not a department. The Treasury is +a department; the Home Office is a department; the India Board is a +department--" + +"No, Mr. Kissing, it isn't," said a young clerk from the other end of +the room. + +"You know very well what I mean, sir. The India Office is a +department." + +"There's no Board, sir." + +"Never mind; but how any gentleman who has been in the service three +months,--not to say three years,--can suppose Somerset House to be a +department, is beyond my comprehension. If you have been improperly +instructed--" + +"We shall know all about it another time," said Eames. "Mr. Love will +make a memorandum of it." + +"I shan't do anything of the kind," said Mr. Love. + +"If you have been wrongly instructed,--" Mr. Kissing began again, +stealing a glance at Mr. Love as he did so; but at this moment +the door was again opened, and a messenger summoned Johnny to the +presence of the really great man. "Mr. Eames, to wait upon Sir +Raffle." Upon hearing this Johnny immediately started, and left Mr. +Kissing and the big book in possession of his desk. How the battle +was waged, and how it raged in the large room, we cannot stop to +hear, as it is necessary that we should follow our hero into the +presence of Sir Raffle Buffle. + +"Ah, Eames,--yes," said Sir Raffle, looking up from his desk when +the young man entered; "just wait half a minute, will you?" And +the knight went to work at his papers, as though fearing that any +delay in what he was doing might be very prejudicial to the nation +at large. "Ah, Eames,--well,--yes," he said again, as he pushed +away from him, almost with a jerk, the papers on which he had been +writing. "They tell me that you know the business of this office +pretty well." + +"Some of it, sir," said Eames. + +"Well, yes; some of it. But you'll have to understand the whole of it +if you come to me. And you must be very sharp about it too. You know +that FitzHoward is leaving me?" + +"I have heard of it, sir." + +"A very excellent young man, though perhaps not-- But we won't mind +that. The work is a little too much for him, and he's going back into +the office. I believe Lord De Guest is a friend of yours; isn't he?" + +"Yes; he is a friend of mine, certainly. He's been very kind to me." + +"Ah, well. I've known the earl for many years,--for very many years; +and intimately at one time. Perhaps you may have heard him mention my +name?" + +"Yes, I have, Sir Raffle." + +"We were intimate once, but those things go off, you know. He's been +the country mouse and I've been the town mouse. Ha, ha, ha! You may +tell him that I say so. He won't mind that coming from me." + +"Oh, no; not at all," said Eames. + +"Mind you tell him when you see him. The earl is a man for whom I've +always had a great respect,--a very great respect,--I may say regard. +And now, Eames, what do you say to taking FitzHoward's place? The +work is hard. It is fair that I should tell you that. The work will, +no doubt, be very hard. I take a greater share of what's going than +my predecessors have done; and I don't mind telling you that I have +been sent here, because a man was wanted who would do that." The +voice of Sir Raffle, as he continued, became more and more harsh, and +Eames began to think how wise FitzHoward had been. "I mean to do my +duty, and I shall expect that my private secretary will do his. But, +Mr. Eames, I never forget a man. Whether he be good or bad, I never +forget a man. You don't dislike late hours, I suppose." + +"Coming late to the office, you mean? Oh, no, not in the least." + +"Staying late,--staying late. Six or seven o'clock if +necessary,--putting your shoulder to the wheel when the coach gets +into the mud. That's what I've been doing all my life. They've known +what I am very well. They've always kept me for the heavy roads. If +they paid, in the Civil Service, by the hour, I believe I should have +drawn a larger income than any man in it. If you take the vacant +chair in the next room you'll find it's no joke. It's only fair that +I should tell you that." + +"I can work as hard as any man," said Eames. + +"That's right. That's right. Stick to that and I'll stick to you. +It will be a great gratification to me to have by me a friend of +my old friend De Guest. Tell him I say so. And now you may as well +get into harness at once. FitzHoward is there. You can go in to him, +and at half-past four exactly I'll see you both. I'm very exact, +mind,--very;--and therefore you must be exact." Then Sir Raffle +looked as though he desired to be left alone. + +"Sir Raffle, there's one favour I want to ask of you," said Johnny. + +"And what's that?" + +"I am most anxious to be absent for a fortnight or three weeks, just +at Easter. I shall want to go in about ten days." + +"Absent for three weeks at Easter, when the parliamentary work is +beginning! That won't do for a private secretary." + +"But it's very important, Sir Raffle." + +"Out of the question, Eames; quite out of the question." + +"It's almost life and death to me." + +"Almost life and death. Why, what are you going to do?" With all his +grandeur and national importance, Sir Raffle would be very curious as +to little people. + +"Well, I can't exactly tell you, and I'm not quite sure myself." + +"Then don't talk nonsense. It's impossible that I should spare my +private secretary just at that time of the year. I couldn't do it. +The service won't admit of it. You're not entitled to leave at that +season. Private secretaries always take their leave in the autumn." + +"I should like to be absent in the autumn too, but--" + +"It's out of the question, Mr. Eames." + +Then John Eames reflected that it behoved him in such an emergency to +fire off his big gun. He had a great dislike to firing this big gun, +but, as he said to himself, there are occasions which make a big +gun very necessary. "I got a letter from Lord De Guest this morning, +pressing me very much to go to him at Easter. It's about business," +added Johnny. "If there was any difficulty, he said, he should write +to you." + +"Write to me," said Sir Raffle, who did not like to be approached too +familiarly in his office, even by an earl. + +"Of course I shouldn't tell him to do that. But, Sir Raffle, if I +remained out there, in the office," and Johnny pointed towards the +big room with his head, "I could choose April for my month. And as +the matter is so important to me, and to the earl--" + +"What can it be?" said Sir Raffle. + +"It's quite private," said John Eames. + +Hereupon Sir Raffle became very petulant, feeling that a bargain was +being made with him. This young man would only consent to become his +private secretary upon certain terms! "Well, go in to FitzHoward now. +I can't lose all my day in this way." + +"But I shall be able to get away at Easter?" + +"I don't know. We shall see about it. But don't stand talking there +now." Then John Eames went into FitzHoward's room, and received that +gentleman's congratulations on his appointment. "I hope you like +being rung for, like a servant, every minute, for he's always ringing +that bell. And he'll roar at you till you're deaf. You must give up +all dinner engagements, for though there is not much to do, he'll +never let you go. I don't think anybody ever asks him out to dinner, +for he likes being here till seven. And you'll have to write all +manner of lies about big people. And, sometimes, when he has sent +Rafferty out about his private business, he'll ask you to bring him +his shoes." Now Rafferty was the First Commissioner's messenger. + +It must be remembered, however, that this little account was given by +an outgoing and discomfited private secretary. "A man is not asked to +bring another man his shoes," said Eames to himself, "until he shows +himself fit for that sort of business." Then he made within his own +breast a little resolution about Sir Raffle's shoes. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVII. + +THE NEW PRIVATE SECRETARY. + + + Income-tax Office, April 8, 18--. + + MY DEAR LORD DE GUEST, + + I hardly know how to answer your letter, it is so very + kind--more than kind. And about not writing before,--I + must explain that I have not liked to trouble you with + letters. I should have seemed to be encroaching if I had + written much. Indeed it didn't come from not thinking + about you. And first of all, about the money,--as to your + offer, I mean. I really feel that I do not know what I + ought to say to you about it, without appearing to be a + simpleton. The truth is, I don't know what I ought to do, + and can only trust to you not to put me wrong. I have an + idea that a man ought not to accept a present of money, + unless from his father, or somebody like that. And the sum + you mention is so very large that it makes me wish you had + not named it. If you choose to be so generous, would it + not be better that you should leave it me in your will? + + +"So that he might always want me to be dying," said Lord De Guest, as +he read the letter out loud to his sister. + +"I'm sure he wouldn't want that," said Lady Julia. "But you may live +for twenty-five years, you know." + +"Say fifty," said the earl. And then he continued the reading of his +letter. + + + But all that depends so much upon another person, that it + is hardly worth while talking about it. Of course I am + very much obliged to Mr. Dale,--very much indeed,--and I + think that he is behaving very handsomely to his niece. + But whether it will do me any good, that is quite another + thing. However, I shall certainly accept your kind + invitation for Easter, and find out whether I have a + chance or not. I must tell you that Sir Raffle Buffle has + made me his private secretary, by which I get a hundred + a year. He says he was a great crony of yours many years + ago, and seems to like talking about you very much. You + will understand what all that means. He has sent you ever + so many messages, but I don't suppose you will care to get + them. I am to go to him to-morrow, and from all I hear I + shall have a hard time of it. + + +"By George, he will," said the earl. "Poor fellow!" + +"But I thought a private secretary never had anything to do," said +Lady Julia. + +"I shouldn't like to be private secretary to Sir Raffle, myself. But +he's young, and a hundred a year is a great thing. How we all of us +used to hate that man. His voice sounded like a bell with a crack in +it. We always used to be asking for some one to muffle the Buffle. +They call him Huffle Scuffle at his office. Poor Johnny!" Then he +finished the letter:-- + + + I told him that I must have leave of absence at Easter, + and he at first declared that it was impossible. But I + shall carry my point about that. I would not stay away to + be made private secretary to the Prime Minister; and yet + I almost feel that I might as well stay away for any good + that I shall do. + + Give my kind regards to Lady Julia, and tell her how very + much obliged to her I am. I cannot express the gratitude + which I owe to you. But pray believe me, my dear Lord De + Guest, always very faithfully yours, + + JOHN EAMES. + + +It was late before Eames had finished his letter. He had been making +himself ready for his exodus from the big room, and preparing his +desk and papers for his successor. About half-past five Cradell came +up to him, and suggested that they should walk home together. + +"What! you here still?" said Eames. "I thought you always went at +four." Cradell had remained, hanging about the office, in order that +he might walk home with the new private secretary. But Eames did not +desire this. He had much of which he desired to think alone, and +would fain have been allowed to walk by himself. + +"Yes; I had things to do. I say, Johnny, I congratulate you most +heartily; I do, indeed." + +"Thank you, old fellow!" + +"It is such a grand thing, you know. A hundred a year and all at +once! And then such a snug room to yourself,--and that fellow, +Kissing, never can come near you. He has been making himself such +a beast all day. But, Johnny, I always knew you'd come to something +more than common. I always said so." + +"There's nothing uncommon about this; except that Fitz says that old +Huffle Scuffle makes himself uncommon nasty." + +"Never mind what Fitz says. It's all jealousy. You'll have it all +your own way, if you look sharp. I think you always do have it all +your own way. Are you nearly ready?" + +"Well,--not quite. Don't wait for me, Caudle." + +"Oh, I'll wait. I don't mind waiting. They'll keep dinner for us if +we both stay. Besides, what matters? I'd do more than that for you." + +"I have some idea of working on till eight, and having a chop sent +in," said Johnny. "Besides--I've got somewhere to call, by myself." + +Then Cradell almost cried. He remained silent for two or three +minutes, striving to master his emotion; and at last, when he did +speak, had hardly succeeded in doing so. "Oh, Johnny," he said, "I +know what that means. You are going to throw me over because you +are getting up in the world. I have always stuck to you, through +everything; haven't I?" + +"Don't make yourself a fool, Caudle." + +"Well; so I have. And if they had made me private secretary, I should +have been just the same to you as ever. You'd have found no change in +me." + +"What a goose you are. Do you say I'm changed, because I want to dine +in the city?" + +"It's all because you don't want to walk home with me, as we used to +do. I'm not such a goose but what I can see. But, Johnny-- I suppose +I mustn't call you Johnny, now." + +"Don't be such a--con-founded--" Then Eames got up, and walked about +the room. "Come along," said he, "I don't care about staying, and +don't mind where I dine." And he bustled away with his hat and +gloves, hardly giving Cradell time to catch him before he got out +into the streets. "I tell you what it is, Caudle," said he, "all that +kind of thing is disgusting." + +"But how would you feel," whimpered Cradell, who had never succeeded +in putting himself quite on a par with his friend, even in his own +estimation, since that glorious victory at the railway station. If +he could only have thrashed Lupex as Johnny had thrashed Crosbie; +then indeed they might have been equal,--a pair of heroes. But he had +not done so. He had never told himself that he was a coward, but he +considered that circumstances had been specially unkind to him. "But +how would you feel," he whimpered, "if the friend whom you liked +better than anybody else in the world, turned his back upon you?" + +"I haven't turned my back upon you; except that I can't get you to +walk fast enough. Come along, old fellow, and don't talk confounded +nonsense. I hate all that kind of thing. You never ought to suppose +that a man will give himself airs, but wait till he does. I don't +believe I shall remain with old Scuffles above a month or two. From +all that I can hear that's as much as any one can bear." + +Then Cradell by degrees became happy and cordial, and during the +whole walk flattered Eames with all the flattery of which he was +master. And Johnny, though he did profess himself to be averse to +"all that kind of thing," was nevertheless open to flattery. When +Cradell told him that though FitzHoward could not manage the Tartar +knight, he might probably do so; he was inclined to believe what +Cradell said. "And as to getting him his shoes," said Cradell, +"I don't suppose he'd ever think of asking you to do such a thing, +unless he was in a very great hurry, or something of that kind." + +"Look here, Johnny," said Cradell, as they got into one of the +streets bordering on Burton Crescent, "you know the last thing in the +world I should like to do would be to offend you." + +"All right, Caudle," said Eames, going on, whereas his companion had +shown a tendency towards stopping. + +"Look here, now; if I have vexed you about Amelia Roper, I'll make +you a promise never to speak to her again." + +"D---- Amelia Roper," said Eames, suddenly stopping himself and +stopping Cradell as well. The exclamation was made in a deep angry +voice which attracted the notice of one or two who were passing. +Johnny was very wrong,--wrong to utter any curse;--very wrong to +ejaculate that curse against a human being; and especially wrong to +fulminate it against a woman--a woman whom he had professed to love! +But he did do so, and I cannot tell my story thoroughly without +repeating the wicked word. + +Cradell looked up at him and stared. "I only meant to say," said +Cradell, "I'll do anything you like in the matter." + +"Then never mention her name to me again. And as to talking to her, +you may talk to her till you're both blue in the face, if you +please." + +"Oh;--I didn't know. You didn't seem to like it the other day." + +"I was a fool the other day,--a confounded fool. And so I have been +all my life. Amelia Roper! Look here, Caudle; if she makes up to you +this evening, as I've no doubt she will, for she seems to be playing +that game constantly now, just let her have her fling. Never mind me; +I'll amuse myself with Mrs. Lupex, or Miss Spruce." + +"But there'll be the deuce to pay with Mrs. Lupex. She's as cross as +possible already whenever Amelia speaks to me. You don't know what a +jealous woman is, Johnny." Cradell had got upon what he considered +to be his high ground. And on that he felt himself equal to any man. +It was no doubt true that Eames had thrashed a man, and that he had +not; it was true also that Eames had risen to very high place in the +social world, having become a private secretary; but for a dangerous, +mysterious, overwhelming, life-enveloping intrigue--was not he the +acknowledged hero of such an affair? He had paid very dearly, both in +pocket and in comfort, for the blessing of Mrs. Lupex's society; but +he hardly considered that he had paid too dearly. There are certain +luxuries which a man will find to be expensive; but, for all that, +they may be worth their price. Nevertheless as he went up the steps +of Mrs. Roper's house he made up his mind that he would oblige his +friend. The intrigue might in that way become more mysterious, and +more life-enveloping; whereas it would not become more dangerous, +seeing that Mr. Lupex could hardly find himself to be aggrieved by +such a proceeding. + +The whole number of Mrs. Roper's boarders were assembled at dinner +that day. Mr. Lupex seldom joined that festive board, but on this +occasion he was present, appearing from his voice and manner to be +in high good-humour. Cradell had communicated to the company in the +drawing-room the great good fortune which had fallen upon his friend, +and Johnny had thereby become the mark of a certain amount of +hero-worship. + +"Oh, indeed!" said Mrs. Roper. "An 'appy woman your mother will be +when she hears it. But I always said you'd come down right side +uppermost." + +"Handsome is as handsome does," said Miss Spruce. + +"Oh, Mr. Eames!" exclaimed Mrs. Lupex, with graceful enthusiasm, "I +wish you joy from the very depth of my heart. It is such an elegant +appointment." + +"Accept the hand of a true and disinterested friend," said Lupex. And +Johnny did accept the hand, though it was very dirty and stained all +over with paint. + +Amelia stood apart and conveyed her congratulations by a glance,--or, +I might better say, by a series of glances. "And now,--now will you +not be mine," the glances said; "now that you are rolling in wealth +and prosperity?" And then before they went downstairs she did whisper +one word to him. "Oh, I am so happy, John;--so very happy." + +"Bother!" said Johnny, in a tone quite loud enough to reach the +lady's ear. Then making his way round the room, he gave his arm to +Miss Spruce. Amelia, as she walked downstairs alone, declared to +herself that she would wring his heart. She had been employed in +wringing it for some days past, and had been astonished at her own +success. It had been clear enough to her that Eames had been piqued +by her overtures to Cradell, and she had therefore to play out that +game. + +"Oh, Mr. Cradell," she said, as she took her seat next to him. "The +friends I like are the friends that remain always the same. I hate +your sudden rises. They do so often make a man upsetting." + +"I should like to try, myself, all the same," said Cradell. + +"Well, I don't think it would make any difference in you; I don't +indeed. And of course your time will come too. It's that earl as has +done it,--he that was worried by the bull. Since we have known an +earl we have been so mighty fine." And Amelia gave her head a little +toss, and then smiled archly, in a manner which, to Cradell's eyes, +was really very becoming. But he saw that Mrs. Lupex was looking at +him from the other side of the table, and he could not quite enjoy +the goods which the gods had provided for him. + +When the ladies left the dining-room Lupex and the two young men drew +their chairs near the fire, and each prepared for himself a moderate +potation. Eames made a little attempt at leaving the room, but he +was implored by Lupex with such earnest protestations of friendship +to remain, and was so weakly fearful of being charged with giving +himself airs, that he did as he was desired. + +"And here, Mr. Eames, is to your very good health," said Lupex, +raising to his mouth a steaming goblet of gin-and-water, "and wishing +you many years to enjoy your official prosperity." + +"Thank ye," said Eames. "I don't know much about the prosperity, but +I'm just as much obliged." + +"Yes, sir; when I see a young man of your age beginning to rise +in the world, I know he'll go on. Now look at me, Mr. Eames. Mr. +Cradell, here's your very good health, and may all unkindness be +drowned in the flowing bowl-- Look at me, Mr. Eames. I've never +risen in the world; I've never done any good in the world, and never +shall." + +"Oh, Mr. Lupex, don't say that." + +"Ah, but I do say it. I've always been pulling the devil by the tail, +and never yet got as much as a good hold on to that. And I'll tell +you why; I never got a chance when I was young. If I could have got +any big fellow, a star, you know, to let me paint his portrait when I +was your age,--such a one, let us say, as your friend Sir Raffle--" + +"What a star!" said Cradell. + +"Well, I suppose he's pretty much known in the world, isn't he? Or +Lord Derby, or Mr. Spurgeon. You know what I mean. If I'd got such a +chance as that when I was young, I should never have been doing jobs +of scene-painting at the minor theatres at so much a square yard. +You've got the chance now, but I never had it." + +Whereupon Mr. Lupex finished his first measure of gin-and-water. + +"It's a very queer thing,--life is," continued Lupex; and, though +he did not at once go to work boldly at the mixing of another glass +of toddy, he began gradually, and as if by instinct, to finger the +things which would be necessary for that operation. "A very queer +thing. Now, remember, young gentlemen, I'm not denying that success +in life will depend upon good conduct;--of course it does; but, then, +how often good conduct comes from success! Should I have been what I +am now, do you suppose, if some big fellow had taken me by the hand +when I was struggling to make an artist of myself? I could have drunk +claret and champagne just as well as gin-and-water, and worn ruffles +to my shirt as gracefully as many a fellow who used to be very fond +of me, and now won't speak to me if he meets me in the streets. I +never got a chance,--never." + +"But it's not too late yet, Mr. Lupex," said Eames. + +"Yes, it is, Eames,--yes, it is." And now Mr. Lupex had grasped the +gin-bottle. "It's too late now. The game's over, and the match is +lost. The talent is here. I'm as sure of that now as ever I was. I've +never doubted my own ability,--never for a moment. There are men this +very day making a thousand a year off their easels who haven't so +good and true an eye in drawing as I have, or so good a feeling in +colours. I could name them; only I won't." + +"And why shouldn't you try again?" said Eames. + +"If I were to paint the finest piece that ever delighted the eye of +man, who would come and look at it? Who would have enough belief in +me to come as far as this place and see if it were true? No, Eames; +I know my own position and my own ways, and I know my own weakness. +I couldn't do a day's work now, unless I were certain of getting a +certain number of shillings at the end of it. That's what a man comes +to when things have gone against him." + +"But I thought men got lots of money by scene-painting?" + +"I don't know what you may call lots, Mr. Cradell; I don't call it +lots. But I'm not complaining. I know who I have to thank; and if +ever I blow my own brains out I shan't be putting the blame on the +wrong shoulders. If you'll take my advice,"--and now he turned round +to Eames,--"you'll beware of marrying too soon in life." + +"I think a man should marry early, if he marries well," said Eames. + +"Don't misunderstand me," continued Lupex. "It isn't about Mrs. L. +I'm speaking. I've always regarded my wife as a very fascinating +woman." + +"Hear, hear, hear!" said Cradell, thumping the table. + +"Indeed she is," said Eames. + +"And when I caution you against marrying, don't you misunderstand me. +I've never said a word against her to any man, and never will. If a +man don't stand by his wife, whom will he stand by? I blame no one +but myself. But I do say this; I never had a chance;--I never had a +chance;--never had a chance." And as he repeated the words for the +third time, his lips were already fixed to the rim of his tumbler. + +At this moment the door of the dining-room was opened, and Mrs. Lupex +put in her head. + +"Lupex," she said, "what are you doing?" + +"Yes, my dear. I can't say I'm doing anything at the present moment. +I was giving a little advice to these young gentlemen." + +"Mr. Cradell, I wonder at you. And, Mr. Eames, I wonder at you, +too,--in your position! Lupex, come upstairs at once." She then +stepped into the room and secured the gin-bottle. + +"Oh, Mr. Cradell, do come here," said Amelia, in her liveliest tone, +as soon as the men made their appearance above. "I've been waiting +for you this half-hour. I've got such a puzzle for you." And she +made way for him to a chair which was between herself and the wall. +Cradell looked half afraid of his fortunes as he took the proffered +seat; but he did take it, and was soon secured from any positive +physical attack by the strength and breadth of Miss Roper's +crinoline. + +"Dear me! Here's a change," said Mrs. Lupex, out loud. + +Johnny Eames was standing close, and whispered into her ear, "Changes +are so pleasant sometimes! Don't you think so? I do." + + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII. + +NEMESIS. + + +Crosbie had now settled down to the calm realities of married life, +and was beginning to think that the odium was dying away which for +a week or two had attached itself to him, partly on account of his +usage of Miss Dale, but more strongly in consequence of the thrashing +which he had received from John Eames. Not that he had in any way +recovered his former tone of life, or that he ever hoped to do so. +But he was able to go in and out of his club without embarrassment. +He could talk with his wonted voice, and act with his wonted +authority at his office. He could tell his friends, with some little +degree of pleasure in the sound, that Lady Alexandrina would be very +happy to see them. And he could make himself comfortable in his own +chair after dinner, with his slippers and his newspaper. He could +make himself comfortable, or at any rate could tell his wife that he +did so. + +It was very dull. He was obliged to acknowledge to himself, when he +thought over the subject, that the life which he was leading was +dull. Though he could go into his club without annoyance, nobody +there ever thought of asking him to join them at dinner. It was taken +for granted that he was going to dine at home; and in the absence of +any provocation to the contrary, he always did dine at home. He had +now been in his house for three weeks, and had been asked with his +wife to a few bridal dinner-parties, given chiefly by friends of the +De Courcy family. Except on such occasions he never passed an evening +out of his own house, and had not yet, since his marriage, dined once +away from his wife. He told himself that his good conduct in this +respect was the result of his own resolution; but, nevertheless, he +felt that there was nothing else left for him to do. Nobody asked +him to go to the theatre. Nobody begged him to drop in of an evening. +Men never asked him why he did not play a rubber. He would generally +saunter into Sebright's after he left his office, and lounge about +the room for half an hour, talking to a few men. Nobody was uncivil +to him. But he knew that the whole thing was changed, and he +resolved, with some wisdom, to accommodate himself to his altered +circumstances. + +Lady Alexandrina also found her new life rather dull, and was +sometimes inclined to be a little querulous. She would tell her +husband that she never got out, and would declare, when he offered to +walk with her, that she did not care for walking in the streets. "I +don't exactly see, then, where you are to walk," he once replied. She +did not tell him that she was fond of riding, and that the Park was +a very fitting place for such exercise; but she looked it, and he +understood her. "I'll do all I can for her," he said to himself; "but +I'll not ruin myself." "Amelia is coming to take me for a drive," she +said another time. "Ah, that'll be very nice," he answered. "No; it +won't be very nice," said Alexandrina. "Amelia is always shopping and +bargaining with the tradespeople. But it will be better than being +kept in the house without ever stirring out." + +They breakfasted nominally at half-past nine; in truth, it was always +nearly ten, as Lady Alexandrina found it difficult to get herself +out of her room. At half-past ten punctually he left his house for +his office. He usually got home by six, and then spent the greatest +part of the hour before dinner in the ceremony of dressing. He went, +at least, into his dressing-room, after speaking a few words to his +wife, and there remained, pulling things about, clipping his nails, +looking over any paper that came in his way, and killing the time. He +expected his dinner punctually at seven, and began to feel a little +cross if he were kept waiting. After dinner, he drank one glass of +wine in company with his wife, and one other by himself, during which +latter ceremony he would stare at the hot coals, and think of the +thing he had done. Then he would go upstairs, and have, first a cup +of coffee, and then a cup of tea. He would read his newspaper, open +a book or two, hide his face when he yawned, and try to make believe +that he liked it. She had no signs or words of love for him. She +never sat on his knee, or caressed him. She never showed him that any +happiness had come to her in being allowed to live close to him. They +thought that they loved each other:--each thought so; but there was +no love, no sympathy, no warmth. The very atmosphere was cold;--so +cold that no fire could remove the chill. + +In what way would it have been different had Lily Dale sat opposite +to him there as his wife, instead of Lady Alexandrina? He told +himself frequently that either with one or with the other life would +have been the same; that he had made himself for a while unfit for +domestic life, and that he must cure himself of that unfitness. +But though he declared this to himself in one set of half-spoken +thoughts, he would also declare to himself in another set, that Lily +would have made the whole house bright with her brightness; that +had he brought her home to his hearth, there would have been a sun +shining on him every morning and every evening. But, nevertheless, he +strove to do his duty, and remembered that the excitement of official +life was still open to him. From eleven in the morning till five in +the afternoon he could still hold a position which made it necessary +that men should regard him with respect, and speak to him with +deference. In this respect he was better off than his wife, for she +had no office to which she could betake herself. + +"Yes," she said to Amelia, "it is all very nice, and I don't mind the +house being damp; but I get so tired of being alone." + +"That must be the case with women who are married to men of +business." + +"Oh, I don't complain. Of course I knew what I was about. I suppose +it won't be so very dull when everybody is up in London." + +"I don't find the season makes much difference to us after +Christmas," said Amelia; "but no doubt London is gayer in May. You'll +find you'll like it better next year; and perhaps you'll have a baby, +you know." + +"Psha!" ejaculated Lady Alexandrina; "I don't want a baby, and don't +suppose I shall have one." + +"It's always something to do, you know." + +Lady Alexandrina, though she was not of an energetic temperament, +could not but confess to herself that she had made a mistake. She had +been tempted to marry Crosbie because Crosbie was a man of fashion, +and now she was told that the London season would make no difference +to her;--the London season which had hitherto always brought to her +the excitement of parties, if it had not given her the satisfaction +of amusement. She had been tempted to marry because it appeared to +her that a married woman could enjoy society with less restraint than +a girl who was subject to her mother or her chaperon; that she would +have more freedom of action as a married woman; and now she was told +that she must wait for a baby before she could have anything to do. +Courcy Castle was sometimes dull, but Courcy Castle would have been +better than this. + +When Crosbie returned home after this little conversation about +the baby, he was told by his wife that they were to dine with the +Gazebees on the next Sunday. On hearing this he shook his head with +vexation. He knew, however, that he had no right to make complaint, +as he had been only taken to St. John's Wood once since they had come +home from their marriage trip. There was, however, one point as to +which he could grumble. "Why, on earth, on Sunday?" + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Why, on earth, on Sunday?"] + + +"Because Amelia asked me for Sunday. If you are asked for Sunday, you +cannot say you'll go on Monday." + +"It is so terrible on a Sunday afternoon. At what hour?" + +"She said half-past five." + +"Heavens and earth! What are we to do all the evening?" + +"It is not kind of you, Adolphus, to speak in that way of my +relations." + +"Come, my love, that's a joke; as if I hadn't heard you say the same +thing twenty times. You've complained of having to go up there much +more bitterly than I ever did. You know I like your sister, and, +in his way, Gazebee is a very good fellow; but after three or four +hours, one begins to have had enough of him." + +"It can't be much duller than it is--;" but Lady Alexandrina stopped +herself before she finished her speech. + +"One can always read at home, at any rate," said Crosbie. + +"One can't always be reading. However, I have said you would go. If +you choose to refuse, you must write and explain." + +When the Sunday came the Crosbies of course did go to St. John's +Wood, arriving punctually at that door which he so hated at half-past +five. One of the earliest resolutions which he made when he first +contemplated the De Courcy match, was altogether hostile to the +Gazebees. He would see but very little of them. He would shake +himself free of that connexion. It was not with that branch of the +family that he desired an alliance. But now, as things had gone, that +was the only branch of the family with which he seemed to be allied. +He was always hearing of the Gazebees. Amelia and Alexandrina were +constantly together. He was now dragged there to a Sunday dinner; +and he knew that he should often be dragged there,--that he could +not avoid such draggings. He already owed money to Mortimer Gazebee, +and was aware that his affairs had been allowed to fall into that +lawyer's hands in such a way that he could not take them out again. +His house was very thoroughly furnished, and he knew that the bills +had been paid; but he had not paid them; every shilling had been paid +through Mortimer Gazebee. + +"Go with your mother and aunt, De Courcy," the attorney said to the +lingering child after dinner; and then Crosbie was left alone with +his wife's brother-in-law. This was the period of the St. John's +Wood purgatory which was so dreadful to him. With his sister-in-law +he could talk, remembering perhaps always that she was an earl's +daughter. But with Gazebee he had nothing in common. And he felt +that Gazebee, who had once treated him with great deference, had now +lost all such feeling. Crosbie had once been a man of fashion in +the estimation of the attorney, but that was all over. Crosbie, in +the attorney's estimation, was now simply the secretary of a public +office,--a man who owed him money. The two had married sisters, and +there was no reason why the light of the prosperous attorney should +pale before that of the civil servant, who was not very prosperous. +All this was understood thoroughly by both the men. + +"There's terrible bad news from Courcy," said the attorney, as soon +as the boy was gone. + +"Why; what's the matter?" + +"Porlock has married--that woman, you know." + +"Nonsense." + +"He has. The old lady has been obliged to tell me, and she's nearly +broken-hearted about it. But that's not the worst of it to my mind. +All the world knows that Porlock had gone to the mischief. But he is +going to bring an action against his father for some arrears of his +allowance, and he threatens to have everything out in court, if he +doesn't get his money." + +"But is there money due to him?" + +"Yes, there is. A couple of thousand pounds or so. I suppose I shall +have to find it. But, upon my honour, I don't know where it's to come +from; I don't, indeed. In one way or another, I've paid over fourteen +hundred pounds for you." + +"Fourteen hundred pounds!" + +"Yes, indeed;--what with the insurance and the furniture, and the +bill from our house for the settlements. That's not paid yet, but +it's the same thing. A man doesn't get married for nothing, I can +tell you." + +"But you've got security." + +"Oh, yes; I've got security. But the thing is the ready money. Our +house has advanced so much on the Courcy property, that they don't +like going any further; and therefore it is that I have to do this +myself. They'll all have to go abroad,--that'll be the end of it. +There's been such a scene between the earl and George. George lost +his temper and told the earl that Porlock's marriage was his fault. +It has ended in George with his wife being turned out." + +"He has money of his own." + +"Yes, but he won't spend it. He's coming up here, and we shall find +him hanging about us. I don't mean to give him a bed here, and I +advise you not to do so either. You'll not get rid of him if you do." + +"I have the greatest possible dislike to him." + +"Yes; he's a bad fellow. So is John. Porlock was the best, but he's +gone altogether to ruin. They've made a nice mess of it between them; +haven't they?" + +This was the family for whose sake Crosbie had jilted Lily Dale! +His single and simple ambition had been that of being an earl's +son-in-law. To achieve that it had been necessary that he should +make himself a villain. In achieving it he had gone through all +manner of dirt and disgrace. He had married a woman whom he knew he +did not love. He was thinking almost hourly of a girl whom he had +loved, whom he did love, but whom he had so injured, that, under +no circumstances, could he be allowed to speak to her again. The +attorney there--who sat opposite to him, talking about his thousands +of pounds with that disgusting assumed solicitude which such men put +on, when they know very well what they are doing--had made a similar +marriage. But he had known what he was about. He had got from his +marriage all that he had expected. But what had Crosbie got? + +"They're a bad set,--a bad set," said he in his bitterness. + +"The men are," said Gazebee, very comfortably. + +"H--m," said Crosbie. It was manifest to Gazebee that his friend was +expressing a feeling that the women, also, were not all that they +should be, but he took no offence, though some portion of the censure +might thereby be supposed to attach to his own wife. + +"The countess means well," said Gazebee. "But she's had a hard life +of it,--a very hard life. I've heard him call her names that would +frighten a coal-heaver. I have, indeed. But he'll die soon, and then +she'll be comfortable. She has three thousand a year jointure." + +He'll die soon, and then she'll be comfortable! That was one phase of +married life. As Crosbie's mind dwelt upon the words, he remembered +Lily's promise made in the fields, that she would do everything for +him. He remembered her kisses; the touch of her fingers; the low +silvery laughing voice; the feel of her dress as she would press +close to him. After that he reflected whether it would not be well +that he too should die, so that Alexandrina might be comfortable. She +and her mother might be very comfortable together, with plenty of +money, at Baden-Baden! + +The squire at Allington, and Mrs. Dale, and Lady Julia De Guest, had +been, and still were, uneasy in their minds because no punishment had +fallen upon Crosbie,--no vengeance had overtaken him in consequence +of his great sin. How little did they know about it! Could he have +been prosecuted and put into prison, with hard labour, for twelve +months, the punishment would not have been heavier. He would, in that +case, at any rate, have been saved from Lady Alexandrina. + +"George and his wife are coming up to town; couldn't we ask them to +come to us for a week or so?" said his wife to him, as soon as they +were in the fly together, going home. + +"No," shouted Crosbie; "we will do no such thing." There was not +another word said on the subject,--nor on any other subject till they +got home. When they reached their house Alexandrina had a headache, +and went up to her room immediately. Crosbie threw himself into a +chair before the remains of a fire in the dining-room, and resolved +that he would cut the whole De Courcy family altogether. His wife, as +his wife, should obey him. She should obey him--or else leave him and +go her way by herself, leaving him to go his way. There was an income +of twelve hundred a year. Would it not be a fine thing for him if he +could keep six hundred for himself and return to his old manner of +life. All his old comforts of course he would not have,--nor the old +esteem and regard of men. But the luxury of a club dinner he might +enjoy. Unembarrassed evenings might be his,--with liberty to him to +pass them as he pleased. He knew many men who were separated from +their wives, and who seemed to be as happy as their neighbours. +And then he remembered how ugly Alexandrina had been this evening, +wearing a great tinsel coronet full of false stones, with a cold in +her head which had reddened her nose. There had, too, fallen upon +her in these her married days a certain fixed dreary dowdiness. +She certainly was very plain! So he said to himself, and then he +went to bed. I myself am inclined to think that his punishment was +sufficiently severe. + +The next morning his wife still complained of headache, so that he +breakfasted alone. Since that positive refusal which he had given to +her proposition for inviting her brother, there had not been much +conversation between them. "My head is splitting, and Sarah shall +bring some tea and toast up to me, if you will not mind it." + +He did not mind it in the least, and ate his breakfast by himself, +with more enjoyment than usually attended that meal. + +It was clear to him that all the present satisfaction of his life +must come to him from his office work. There are men who find it +difficult to live without some source of daily comfort, and he was +such a man. He could hardly endure his life unless there were some +page in it on which he could look with gratified eyes. He had always +liked his work, and he now determined that he would like it better +than ever. But in order that he might do so it was necessary that +he should have much of his own way. According to the theory of his +office, it was incumbent on him as Secretary simply to take the +orders of the Commissioners, and see that they were executed; and to +such work as this his predecessor had strictly confined himself. But +he had already done more than this, and had conceived the ambition +of holding the Board almost under his thumb. He flattered himself +that he knew his own work and theirs better than they knew either, +and that by a little management he might be their master. It is not +impossible that such might have been the case had there been no +fracas at the Paddington station; but, as we all know, the dominant +cock of the farmyard must be ever dominant. When he shall once have +had his wings so smeared with mud as to give him even the appearance +of adversity, no other cock will ever respect him again. Mr. Optimist +and Mr. Butterwell knew very well that their secretary had been +cudgelled, and they could not submit themselves to a secretary who +had been so treated. + +"Oh, by-the-by, Crosbie," said Butterwell, coming into his room, +soon after his arrival at his office on that day of his solitary +breakfast, "I want to say just a few words to you." And Butterwell +turned round and closed the door, the lock of which had not +previously been fastened. Crosbie, without much thinking, immediately +foretold himself the nature of the coming conversation. + +"Do you know--" said Butterwell, beginning. + +"Sit down, won't you?" said Crosbie, seating himself as he spoke. If +there was to be a contest, he would make the best fight he could. +He would show a better spirit here than he had done on the railway +platform. Butterwell did sit down, and felt as he did so, that the +very motion of sitting took away some of his power. He ought to +have sent for Crosbie into his own room. A man, when he wishes +to reprimand another, should always have the benefit of his own +atmosphere. + +"I don't want to find any fault," Butterwell began. + +"I hope you have not any cause," said Crosbie. + +"No, no; I don't say that I have. But we think at the Board--" + +"Stop, stop, Butterwell. If anything unpleasant is coming, it had +better come from the Board. I should take it in better spirit; I +should, indeed." + +"What takes place at the Board must be official." + +"I shall not mind that in the least. I should rather like it than +otherwise." + +"It simply amounts to this,--that we think you are taking a little +too much on yourself. No doubt, it's a fault on the right side, and +arises from your wishing to have the work well done." + +"And if I don't do it, who will?" asked Crosbie. + +"The Board is very well able to get through all that appertains to +it. Come, Crosbie, you and I have known each other a great many +years, and it would be a pity that we should have any words. I have +come to you in this way because it would be disagreeable to you to +have any question raised officially. Optimist isn't given to being +very angry, but he was downright angry yesterday. You had better take +what I say in good part, and go along a little quieter." + +But Crosbie was not in a humour to take anything quietly. He was sore +all over, and prone to hit out at everybody that he met. "I have done +my duty to the best of my ability, Mr. Butterwell," he said, "and I +believe I have done it well. I believe I know my duty here as well +as any one can teach me. If I have done more than my share of work, +it is because other people have done less than theirs." As he spoke, +there was a black cloud upon his brow, and the Commissioner could +perceive that the Secretary was very wrathful. + +"Oh! very well," said Butterwell, rising from his chair. "I can only, +under such circumstances, speak to the Chairman, and he will tell you +what he thinks at the Board. I think you're foolish; I do, indeed. As +for myself, I have only meant to act kindly by you." After that, Mr. +Butterwell took himself off. + +On the same afternoon, Crosbie was summoned into the Board-room in +the usual way, between two and three. This was a daily occurrence, +as he always sat for about an hour with two out of the three +Commissioners, after they had fortified themselves with a biscuit +and a glass of sherry. On the present occasion, the usual amount of +business was transacted, but it was done in a manner which made +Crosbie feel that they did not all stand together on their usual +footing. The three Commissioners were all there. The Chairman gave +his directions in a solemn, pompous voice, which was by no means +usual to him when he was in good humour. The Major said little +or nothing; but there was a gleam of satisfied sarcasm in his +eye. Things were going wrong at the Board, and he was pleased. Mr. +Butterwell was exceedingly civil in his demeanour, and rather more +than ordinarily brisk. As soon as the regular work of the day was +over, Mr. Optimist shuffled about on his chair, rising from his seat, +and then sitting down again. He looked through a lot of papers close +to his hand, peering at them over his spectacles. Then he selected +one, took off his spectacles, leaned back in his chair, and began his +little speech. + +"Mr. Crosbie," he said, "we are all very much gratified,--very much +gratified, indeed,--by your zeal and energy in the service." + +"Thank you, sir," said Crosbie; "I am fond of the service." + +"Exactly, exactly; we all feel that. But we think that you,--if I +were to say take too much upon yourself, I should say, perhaps, more +than we mean." + +"Don't say more than you mean, Mr. Optimist." Crosbie's eyes, as he +spoke, gleamed slightly with his momentary triumph; as did also those +of Major Fiasco. + +"No, no, no," said Mr. Optimist; "I would say rather less than more +to so very good a public servant as yourself. But you, doubtless, +understand me?" + +"I don't think I do quite, sir. If I have not taken too much on me, +what is it that I have done that I ought not to have done?" + +"You have given directions in many cases for which you ought first to +have received authority. Here is an instance," and the selected paper +was at once brought out. + +It was a matter in which the Secretary had been manifestly wrong +according to written law, and he could not defend it on its own +merits. + +"If you wish me," said he, "to confine myself exactly to the positive +instructions of the office, I will do so; but I think you will find +it inconvenient." + +"It will be far the best," said Mr. Optimist. + +"Very well," said Mr. Crosbie, "it shall be done." And he at once +determined to make himself as unpleasant to the three gentlemen in +the room as he might find it within his power to do. He could make +himself very unpleasant, but the unpleasantness would be as much to +him as to them. + +Nothing would now go right with him. He could look in no direction +for satisfaction. He sauntered into Sebright's, as he went home, but +he could not find words to speak to any one about the little matters +of the day. He went home, and his wife, though she was up, complained +still of her headache. + +"I haven't been out of the house all day," she said, "and that has +made it worse." + +"I don't know how you are to get out if you won't walk," he answered. + +Then there was no more said between them till they sat down to their +meal. + +Had the squire at Allington known all, he might, I think, have been +satisfied with the punishment which Crosbie had encountered. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIX. + +PREPARATIONS FOR GOING. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +"Mamma, read that letter." + +It was Mrs. Dale's eldest daughter who spoke to her, and they were +alone together in the parlour at the Small House. Mrs. Dale took the +letter and read it very carefully. She then put it back into its +envelope and returned it to Bell. + +"It is, at any rate, a good letter, and, as I believe, tells the +truth." + +"I think it tells a little more than the truth, mamma. As you say, +it is a well-written letter. He always writes well when he is in +earnest. But yet--" + +"Yet what, my dear?" + +"There is more head than heart in it." + +"If so, he will suffer the less; that is, if you are quite resolved +in the matter." + +"I am quite resolved, and I do not think he will suffer much. He +would not, I suppose, have taken the trouble to write like that, if +he did not wish this thing." + +"I am quite sure that he does wish it, most earnestly; and that he +will be greatly disappointed." + +"As he would be if any other scheme did not turn out to his +satisfaction; that is all." + +The letter, of course, was from Bell's cousin Bernard, and containing +the strongest plea he was able to make in favour of his suit for her +hand. Bernard Dale was better able to press such a plea by letter +than by spoken words. He was a man capable of doing anything well in +the doing of which a little time for consideration might be given to +him; but he had not in him that power of passion which will force +a man to eloquence in asking for that which he desires to obtain. +His letter on this occasion was long, and well argued. If there was +little in it of passionate love, there was much of pleasant flattery. +He told Bell how advantageous to both their families their marriage +would be; he declared to her that his own feeling in the matter had +been rendered stronger by absence; he alluded without boasting to his +past career of life as her best guarantee for his future conduct; he +explained to her that if this marriage could be arranged there need +then, at any rate, be no further question as to his aunt removing +with Lily from the Small House; and then he told her that his +affection for herself was the absorbing passion of his existence. +Had the letter been written with the view of obtaining from a third +person a favourable verdict as to his suit, it would have been a very +good letter indeed; but there was not a word in it that could stir +the heart of such a girl as Bell Dale. + +"Answer him kindly," Mrs. Dale said. + +"As kindly as I know how," said Bell. "I wish you would write the +letter, mamma." + +"I fear that would not do. What I should say would only tempt him to +try again." + +Mrs. Dale knew very well,--had known for some months past,--that +Bernard's suit was hopeless. She felt certain, although the matter +had not been discussed between them, that whenever Dr. Crofts might +choose to come again and ask for her daughter's hand he would not be +refused. Of the two men she probably liked Dr. Crofts the best; but +she liked them both, and she could not but remember that the one, +in a worldly point of view, would be a very poor match, whereas the +other would, in all respects, be excellent. She would not, on any +account, say a word to influence her daughter, and knew, moreover, +that no word which she could say would influence her; but she could +not divest herself of some regret that it should be so. + +"I know what you would wish, mamma," said Bell. + +"I have but one wish, dearest, and that is for your happiness. May +God preserve you from any such fate as Lily's. When I tell you to +write kindly to your cousin, I simply mean that I think him to have +deserved a kind reply by his honesty." + +"It shall be as kind as I can make it, mamma; but you know what the +lady says in the play,--how hard it is to take the sting from that +word 'no.'" Then Bell walked out alone for a while, and on her return +got her desk and wrote her letter. It was very firm and decisive. +As for that wit which should pluck the sting "from such a sharp and +waspish word as 'no,'" I fear she had it not. "It will be better +to make him understand that I, also, am in earnest," she said to +herself; and in this frame of mind she wrote her letter. "Pray do +not allow yourself to think that what I have said is unfriendly," +she added, in a postscript. "I know how good you are, and I know the +great value of what I refuse; but in this matter it must be my duty +to tell you the simple truth." + +It had been decided between the squire and Mrs. Dale that the removal +from the Small House to Guestwick was not to take place till the +first of May. When he had been made to understand that Dr. Crofts had +thought it injudicious that Lily should be taken out of their present +house in March, he had used all the eloquence of which he was master +to induce Mrs. Dale to consent to abandon her project. He had told +her that he had always considered that house as belonging, of right, +to some other of the family than himself; that it had always been so +inhabited, and that no squire of Allington had for years past taken +rent for it. "There is no favour conferred,--none at all," he had +said; but speaking nevertheless in his usual sharp, ungenial tone. + +"There is a favour, a great favour, and great generosity," Mrs. Dale +had replied. "And I have never been too proud to accept it; but when +I tell you that we think we shall be happier at Guestwick, you will +not refuse to let us go. Lily has had a great blow in that house, +and Bell feels that she is running counter to your wishes on her +behalf,--wishes that are so very kind!" + +"No more need be said about that. All that may come right yet, if you +will remain where you are." + +But Mrs. Dale knew that "all that" could never come right, and +persisted. Indeed, she would hardly have dared to tell her girls +that she had yielded to the squire's entreaties. It was just then, at +that very time, that the squire was, as it were, in treaty with the +earl about Lily's fortune; and he did feel it hard that he should be +opposed in such a way by his own relatives at the moment when he was +behaving towards them with so much generosity. But in his arguments +about the house he said nothing of Lily, or her future prospects. + +They were to move on the first of May, and one week of April was +already past. The squire had said nothing further on the matter after +the interview with Mrs. Dale to which allusion has just been made. He +was vexed and sore at the separation, thinking that he was ill-used +by the feeling which was displayed by this refusal. He had done his +duty by them, as he thought; indeed more than his duty, and now they +told him that they were leaving him because they could no longer bear +the weight of an obligation conferred by his hands. But in truth he +did not understand them; nor did they understand him. He had been +hard in his manner, and had occasionally domineered, not feeling that +his position, though it gave him all the privileges of a near and a +dear friend, did not give him the authority of a father or a husband. +In that matter of Bernard's proposed marriage he had spoken as though +Bell should have considered his wishes before she refused her cousin. +He had taken upon himself to scold Mrs. Dale, and had thereby given +offence to the girls, which they at the time had found it utterly +impossible to forgive. + +But they were hardly better satisfied in the matter than was he; and +now that the time had come, though they could not bring themselves to +go back from their demand, almost felt that they were treating the +squire with cruelty. When their decision had been made,--while it +had been making,--he had been stern and hard to them. Since that he +had been softened by Lily's misfortune, and softened also by the +anticipated loneliness which would come upon him when they should be +gone from his side. It was hard upon him that they should so treat +him when he was doing his best for them all! And they also felt this, +though they did not know the extent to which he was anxious to go in +serving them. When they had sat round the fire planning the scheme of +their removal, their hearts had been hardened against him, and they +had resolved to assert their independence. But now, when the time +for action had come, they felt that their grievances against him had +already been in a great measure assuaged. This tinged all that they +did with a certain sadness; but still they continued their work. + +Who does not know how terrible are those preparations for +house-moving;--how infinite in number are the articles which must be +packed, how inexpressibly uncomfortable is the period of packing, and +how poor and tawdry is the aspect of one's belongings while they are +thus in a state of dislocation? Now-a-days people who understand the +world, and have money commensurate with their understanding, have +learned the way of shunning all these disasters, and of leaving the +work to the hands of persons paid for doing it. The crockery is left +in the cupboards, the books on the shelves, the wine in the bins, the +curtains on their poles, and the family that is understanding goes +for a fortnight to Brighton. At the end of that time the crockery is +comfortably settled in other cupboards, the books on other shelves, +the wine in other bins, the curtains are hung on other poles, and +all is arranged. But Mrs. Dale and her daughters understood nothing +of such a method of moving as this. The assistance of the village +carpenter in filling certain cases that he had made was all that +they knew how to obtain beyond that of their own two servants. Every +article had to pass through the hands of some one of the family; +and as they felt almost overwhelmed by the extent of the work to be +done, they began it much sooner than was necessary, so that it became +evident as they advanced in their work, that they would have to pass +a dreadfully dull, stupid, uncomfortable week at last, among their +boxes and cases, in all the confusion of dismantled furniture. + +At first an edict had gone forth that Lily was to do nothing. She was +an invalid, and was to be petted and kept quiet. But this edict soon +fell to the ground, and Lily worked harder than either her mother or +her sister. In truth she was hardly an invalid any longer, and would +not submit to an invalid's treatment. She felt herself that for the +present constant occupation could alone save her from the misery of +looking back,--and she had conceived an idea that the harder that +occupation was, the better it would be for her. While pulling down +the books, and folding the linen, and turning out from their old +hiding-places the small long-forgotten properties of the household, +she would be as gay as ever she had been in old times. She would talk +over her work, standing with flushed cheek and laughing eyes among +the dusty ruins around her, till for a moment her mother would think +that all was well within her. But then at other moments, when the +reaction came, it would seem as though nothing were well. She could +not sit quietly over the fire, with quiet rational work in her +hands, and chat in a rational quiet way. Not as yet could she do +so. Nevertheless it was well with her,--within her own bosom. She +had declared to herself that she would conquer her misery,--as she +had also declared to herself during her illness that her misfortune +should not kill her,--and she was in the way to conquer it. She told +herself that the world was not over for her because her sweet hopes +had been frustrated. The wound had been deep and very sore, but the +flesh of the patient had been sound and healthy, and her blood pure. +A physician having knowledge in such cases would have declared, after +long watching of her symptoms, that a cure was probable. Her mother +was the physician who watched her with the closest eyes; and she, +though she was sometimes driven to doubt, did hope, with stronger +hope from day to day, that her child might live to remember the story +of her love without abiding agony. + +That nobody should talk to her about it,--that had been the one +stipulation which she had seemed to make, not sending forth a request +to that effect among her friends in so many words, but showing by +certain signs that such was her stipulation. A word to that effect +she had spoken to her uncle,--as may be remembered, which word had +been regarded with the closest obedience. She had gone out into +her little world very soon after the news of Crosbie's falsehood +had reached her,--first to church and then among the people of the +village, resolving to carry herself as though no crushing weight had +fallen upon her. The village people had understood it all, listening +to her and answering her without the proffer of any outspoken parley. + +"Lord bless 'ee," said Mrs. Crump, the postmistress,--and Mrs. Crump +was supposed to have the sourest temper in Allington,--"whenever I +look at thee, Miss Lily, I thinks that surely thee is the +beautifulest young 'ooman in all these parts." + +"And you are the crossest old woman," said Lily, laughing, and giving +her hand to the postmistress. + +"So I be," said Mrs. Crump. "So I be." Then Lily sat down in the +cottage and asked after her ailments. With Mrs. Hearn it was the +same. Mrs. Hearn, after that first meeting which has been already +mentioned, petted and caressed her, but spoke no further word of her +misfortune. When Lily called a second time upon Mrs. Boyce, which +she did boldly by herself, that lady did begin one other word of +commiseration. "My dearest Lily, we have all been made so unhappy--" +So far Mrs. Boyce got, sitting close to Lily and striving to look +into her face; but Lily, with a slightly heightened colour, turned +sharp round upon one of the Boyce girls, tearing Mrs. Boyce's +commiseration into the smallest shreds. "Minnie," she said, speaking +quite loud, almost with girlish ecstasy, "what do you think Tartar +did yesterday? I never laughed so much in my life." Then she told +a ludicrous story about a very ugly terrier which belonged to the +squire. After that even Mrs. Boyce made no further attempt. Mrs. Dale +and Bell both understood that such was to be the rule--the rule even +to them. Lily would speak to them occasionally on the matter,--to +one of them at a time, beginning with some almost single word of +melancholy resignation, and then would go on till she opened her very +bosom before them; but no such conversation was ever begun by them. +But now, in these busy days of the packing, that topic seemed to have +been banished altogether. + +"Mamma," she said, standing on the top rung of a house-ladder, from +which position she was handing down glass out of a cupboard, "are you +sure that these things are ours? I think some of them belong to the +house." + +"I'm sure about that bowl at any rate, because it was my mother's +before I was married." + +"Oh, dear, what should I do if I were to break it? Whenever I handle +anything very precious I always feel inclined to throw it down and +smash it. Oh! it was as nearly gone as possible, mamma; but that was +your fault." + +"If you don't take care you'll be nearly gone yourself. Do take hold +of something." + +"Oh, Bell, here's the inkstand for which you've been moaning for +three years." + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "Bell, here's the inkstand."] + + +"I haven't been moaning for three years; but who could have put it up +there?" + +"Catch it," said Lily; and she threw the bottle down on to a pile of +carpets. + +At this moment a step was heard in the hall, and the squire entered +through the open door of the room. "So you're all at work," said he. + +"Yes, we're at work," said Mrs. Dale, almost with a tone of shame. +"If it is to be done it is as well that it should be got over." + +"It makes me wretched enough," said the squire. "But I didn't come +to talk about that. I've brought you a note from Lady Julia De Guest, +and I've had one from the earl. They want us all to go there and stay +the week after Easter." + +Mrs. Dale and the girls, when this very sudden proposition was made +to them, all remained fixed in their places, and, for a moment, were +speechless. Go and stay a week at Guestwick Manor! The whole family! +Hitherto the intercourse between the Manor and the Small House had +been confined to morning calls, very far between. Mrs. Dale had +never dined there, and had latterly even deputed the calling to her +daughters. Once Bell had dined there with her uncle, the squire, and +once Lily had gone over with her uncle Orlando. Even this had been +long ago, before they were quite brought out, and they had regarded +the occasion with the solemn awe of children. Now, at this time of +their flitting into some small mean dwelling at Guestwick, they had +previously settled among themselves that that affair of calling at +the Manor might be allowed to drop. Mrs. Eames never called, and they +were descending to the level of Mrs. Eames. "Perhaps we shall get +game sent to us, and that will be better," Lily had said. And now, at +this very moment of their descent in life, they were all asked to go +and stay a week at the Manor! Stay a week with Lady Julia! Had the +Queen sent the Lord Chamberlain down to bid them all go to Windsor +Castle it could hardly have startled them more at the first blow. +Bell had been seated on the folded carpet when her uncle had entered, +and now had again sat herself in the same place. Lily was still +standing at the top of the ladder, and Mrs. Dale was at the foot +with one hand on Lily's dress. The squire had told his story very +abruptly, but he was a man who, having a story to tell, knew nothing +better than to tell it out abruptly, letting out everything at the +first moment. + +"Wants us all!" said Mrs. Dale. "How many does the all mean?" Then +she opened Lady Julia's note and read it, not moving from her +position at the foot of the ladder. + +"Do let me see, mamma," said Lily; and then the note was handed up +to her. Had Mrs. Dale well considered the matter she might probably +have kept the note to herself for a while, but the whole thing was so +sudden that she had not considered the matter well. + + + MY DEAR MRS. DALE [the letter ran], + + I send this inside a note from my brother to Mr. Dale. We + particularly want you and your two girls to come to us for + a week from the seventeenth of this month. Considering our + near connection we ought to have seen more of each other + than we have done for years past, and of course it has + been our fault. But it is never too late to amend one's + ways; and I hope you will receive my confession in the + true spirit of affection in which it is intended, and that + you will show your goodness by coming to us. I will do all + I can to make the house pleasant to your girls, for both + of whom I have much real regard. + + I should tell you that John Eames will be here for the + same week. My brother is very fond of him, and thinks him + the best young man of the day. He is one of my heroes, + too, I must confess. + + Very sincerely yours, + + JULIA DE GUEST. + + +Lily, standing on the ladder, read the letter very attentively. +The squire meanwhile stood below speaking a word or two to his +sister-in-law and niece. No one could see Lily's face, as it was +turned away towards the window, and it was still averted when she +spoke. "It is out of the question that we should go, mamma;--that is, +all of us." + +"Why out of the question?" said the squire. + +"A whole family!" said Mrs. Dale. + +"That is just what they want," said the squire. + +"I should like of all things to be left alone for a week," said Lily, +"if mamma and Bell would go." + +"That wouldn't do at all," said the squire. "Lady Julia specially +wants you to be one of the party." + +The thing had been badly managed altogether. The reference in Lady +Julia's note to John Eames had explained to Lily the whole scheme at +once, and had so opened her eyes that all the combined influence of +the Dale and De Guest families could not have dragged her over to the +Manor. + +"Why not do?" said Lily. "It would be out of the question a whole +family going in that way, but it would be very nice for Bell." + +"No, it would not," said Bell. + +"Don't be ungenerous about it, my dear," said the squire, turning to +Bell; "Lady Julia means to be kind. But, my darling," and the squire +turned again towards Lily, addressing her, as was his wont in these +days, with an affection that was almost vexatious to her; "but, my +darling, why should you not go? A change of scene like that will do +you all the good in the world, just when you are getting well. Mary, +tell the girls that they ought to go." + +Mrs. Dale stood silent, again reading the note, and Lily came down +from the ladder. When she reached the floor she went directly up to +her uncle, and taking his hand turned him round with herself towards +one of the windows, so that they stood with their backs to the room. +"Uncle," she said, "do not be angry with me. I can't go;" and then +she put up her face to kiss him. + +He stooped and kissed her and still held her hand. He looked into her +face and read it all. He knew well, now, why she could not go; or, +rather, why she herself thought that she could not go. "Cannot you, +my darling?" he said. + +"No, uncle. It is very kind,--very kind; but I cannot go. I am not +fit to go anywhere." + +"But you should get over that feeling. You should make a struggle." + +"I am struggling, and I shall succeed; but I cannot do it all at +once. At any rate I could not go there. You must give my love to Lady +Julia, and not let her think me cross. Perhaps Bell will go." + +What would be the good of Bell's going--or the good of his putting +himself out of the way, by a visit which would of itself be so +tiresome to him, if the one object of the visit could not be carried +out? The earl and his sister had planned the invitation with the +express intention of bringing Lily and Eames together. It seemed +that Lily was firm in her determination to resist this intention; +and, if so, it would be better that the whole thing should fall to +the ground. He was very vexed, and yet he was not angry with her. +Everybody lately had opposed him in everything. All his intended +family arrangements had gone wrong. But yet he was seldom angry +respecting them. He was so accustomed to be thwarted that he hardly +expected success. In this matter of providing Lily with a second +lover, he had not come forward of his own accord. He had been +appealed to by his neighbour the earl, and had certainly answered the +appeal with much generosity. He had been induced to make the attempt +with eagerness, and a true desire for its accomplishment; but in +this, as in all his own schemes, he was met at once by opposition and +failure. + +"I will leave you to talk it over among yourselves," he said. "But, +Mary, you had better see me before you send your answer. If you will +come up by-and-by, Ralph shall take the two notes over together in +the afternoon." So saying, he left the Small House, and went back to +his own solitary home. + +"Lily, dear," said Mrs. Dale, as soon as the front door had been +closed, "this is meant for kindness to you,--for most affectionate +kindness." + +"I know it, mamma; and you must go to Lady Julia, and must tell her +that I know it. You must give her my love. And, indeed, I do love her +now. But--" + +"You won't go, Lily?" said Mrs. Dale, beseechingly. + +"No, mamma; certainly I will not go." Then she escaped out of the +room by herself, and for the next hour neither of them dared to go to +her. + + + + +CHAPTER L. + +MRS. DALE IS THANKFUL FOR A GOOD THING. + + +On that day they dined early at the Small House, as they had been in +the habit of doing since the packing had commenced. And after dinner +Mrs. Dale went through the gardens, up to the other house, with a +written note in her hand. In that note she had told Lady Julia, with +many protestations of gratitude, that Lily was unable to go out so +soon after her illness, and that she herself was obliged to stay with +Lily. She explained also, that the business of moving was in hand, +and that, therefore, she could not herself accept the invitation. But +her other daughter, she said, would be very happy to accompany her +uncle to Guestwick Manor. Then, without closing her letter, she took +it up to the squire in order that it might be decided whether it +would or would not suit his views. It might well be that he would not +care to go to Lord De Guest's with Bell alone. + +"Leave it with me," he said; "that is, if you do not object." + +"Oh dear, no!" + +"I'll tell you the plain truth at once, Mary. I shall go over myself +with it, and see the earl. Then I will decline it or not, according +to what passes between me and him. I wish Lily would have gone." + +"Ah! she could not." + +"I wish she could. I wish she could. I wish she could." As he +repeated the words over and over again, there was an eagerness in his +voice that filled Mrs. Dale's heart with tenderness towards him. + +"The truth is," said Mrs. Dale, "she could not go there to meet John +Eames." + +"Oh, I know," said the squire: "I understand it. But that is just +what we want her to do. Why should she not spend a week in the same +house with an honest young man whom we all like." + +"There are reasons why she would not wish it." + +"Ah, exactly; the very reasons which should make us induce her to go +there if we can. Perhaps I had better tell you all. Lord De Guest has +taken him by the hand, and wishes him to marry. He has promised to +settle on him an income which will make him comfortable for life." + +"That is very generous; and I am delighted to hear it,--for John's +sake." + +"And they have promoted him at his office." + +"Ah! then he will do well." + +"He will do very well. He is private secretary now to their head man. +And, Mary, so that she, Lily, should not be empty-handed if this +marriage can be arranged, I have undertaken to settle a hundred a +year on her,--on her and her children, if she will accept him. Now +you know it all. I did not mean to tell you; but it is as well that +you should have the means of judging. That other man was a villain. +This man is honest. Would it not be well that she should learn to +like him? She always did like him, I thought, before that other +fellow came down here among us." + +"She has always liked him--as a friend." + +"She will never get a better lover." + +Mrs. Dale sat silent, thinking over it all. Every word that the +squire said was true. It would be a healing of wounds most desirable +and salutary; an arrangement advantageous to them all; a destiny for +Lily most devoutly to be desired,--if only it were possible. Mrs. +Dale firmly believed that if her daughter could be made to accept +John Eames as her second lover in a year or two all would be well. +Crosbie would then be forgotten or thought of without regret, and +Lily would become the mistress of a happy home. But there are +positions which cannot be reached, though there be no physical or +material objection in the way. It is the view which the mind takes of +a thing which creates the sorrow that arises from it. If the heart +were always malleable and the feelings could be controlled, who would +permit himself to be tormented by any of the reverses which affection +meets? Death would create no sorrow; ingratitude would lose its +sting; and the betrayal of love would do no injury beyond that which +it might entail upon worldly circumstances. But the heart is not +malleable; nor will the feelings admit of such control. + +"It is not possible for her," said Mrs. Dale. "I fear it is not +possible. It is too soon." + +"Six months," pleaded the squire. + +"It will take years,--not months," said Mrs. Dale. + +"And she will lose all her youth." + +"Yes; he has done all that by his treachery. But it is done, and we +cannot now go back. She loves him yet as dearly as she ever loved +him." + +Then the squire muttered certain words below his +breath,--ejaculations against Crosbie, which were hardly voluntary; +but even as involuntary ejaculations were very improper. Mrs. Dale +heard them, and was not offended either by their impropriety or their +warmth. "But you can understand," she said, "that she cannot bring +herself to go there." The squire struck the table with his fist, +and repeated his ejaculations. If he could only have known how very +disagreeable Lady Alexandrina was making herself, his spirit might, +perhaps, have been less vehemently disturbed. If, also, he could have +perceived and understood the light in which an alliance with the De +Courcy family was now regarded by Crosbie, I think that he would have +received some consolation from that consideration. Those who offend +us are generally punished for the offence they give; but we so +frequently miss the satisfaction of knowing that we are avenged! It +is arranged, apparently, that the injurer shall be punished, but that +the person injured shall not gratify his desire for vengeance. + +"And will you go to Guestwick yourself?" asked Mrs. Dale. + +"I will take the note," said the squire, "and will let you know +to-morrow. The earl has behaved so kindly that every possible +consideration is due to him. I had better tell him the whole truth, +and go or stay, as he may wish. I don't see the good of going. What +am I to do at Guestwick Manor? I did think that if we had all been +there it might have cured some difficulties." + +Mrs. Dale got up to leave him, but she could not go without saying +some word of gratitude for all that he had attempted to do for +them. She well knew what he meant by the curing of difficulties. +He had intended to signify that had they lived together for a week +at Guestwick the idea of flitting from Allington might possibly +have been abandoned. It seemed now to Mrs. Dale as though her +brother-in-law were heaping coals of fire on her head in return +for that intention. She felt half-ashamed of what she was doing, +almost acknowledging to herself that she should have borne with his +sternness in return for the benefits he had done to her daughters. +Had she not feared their reproaches she would, even now, have given +way. + +"I do not know what I ought to say to you for your kindness." + +"Say nothing,--either for my kindness or unkindness; but stay where +you are, and let us live like Christians together, striving to +think good and not evil." These were kind, loving words, showing in +themselves a spirit of love and forbearance; but they were spoken in +a harsh, unsympathizing voice, and the speaker, as he uttered them, +looked gloomily at the fire. In truth the squire, as he spoke, was +half-ashamed of the warmth of what he said. + +"At any rate I will not think evil," Mrs. Dale answered, giving him +her hand. After that she left him, and returned home. It was too late +for her to abandon her project of moving and remain at the Small +House; but as she went across the garden she almost confessed to +herself that she repented of what she was doing. + +In these days of the cold early spring, the way from the lawn into +the house, through the drawing-room window, was not as yet open, and +it was necessary to go round by the kitchen-garden on to the road, +and thence in by the front door; or else to pass through the back +door, and into the house by the kitchen. This latter mode of entrance +Mrs. Dale now adopted; and as she made her way into the hall Lily +came upon her, with very silent steps, out from the parlour, and +arrested her progress. There was a smile upon Lily's face as she +lifted up her finger as if in caution, and no one looking at her +would have supposed that she was herself in trouble. "Mamma," she +said, pointing to the drawing-room door, and speaking almost in a +whisper, "you must not go in there; come into the parlour." + +"Who's there? Where's Bell?" and Mrs. Dale went into the parlour as +she was bidden. "But who is there?" she repeated. + +"He's there!" + +"Who is he?" + +"Oh, mamma, don't be a goose! Dr. Crofts is there, of course. He's +been nearly an hour. I wonder how he is managing, for there is +nothing on earth to sit upon but the old lump of a carpet. The room +is strewed about with crockery, and Bell is such a figure! She has +got on your old checked apron, and when he came in she was rolling up +the fire-irons in brown paper. I don't suppose she was ever in such a +mess before. There's one thing certain,--he can't kiss her hand." + +"It's you are the goose, Lily." + +"But he's in there certainly, unless he has gone out through the +window, or up the chimney." + +"What made you leave them?" + +"He met me here, in the passage, and spoke to me ever so seriously. +'Come in,' I said, 'and see Bell packing the pokers and tongs.' 'I +will go in,' he said, 'but don't come with me.' He was ever so +serious, and I'm sure he had been thinking of it all the way along." + +"And why should he not be serious?" + +"Oh, no, of course he ought to be serious; but are you not glad, +mamma? I am so glad. We shall live alone together, you and I; but she +will be so close to us! My belief is that he'll stay there for ever +unless somebody does something. I have been so tired of waiting and +looking out for you. Perhaps he's helping her to pack the things. +Don't you think we might go in; or would it be ill-natured?" + +"Lily, don't be in too great a hurry to say anything. You may be +mistaken, you know; and there's many a slip between the cup and the +lip." + +"Yes, mamma, there is," said Lily, putting her hand inside her +mother's arm, "that's true enough." + +"Oh, my darling, forgive me," said the mother, suddenly remembering +that the use of the old proverb at the present moment had been almost +cruel. + +"Do not mind it," said Lily, "it does not hurt me, it does me good; +that is to say, when there is nobody by except yourself. But, with +God's help, there shall be no slip here, and she shall be happy. It +is all the difference between one thing done in a hurry, and another +done with much thinking. But they'll remain there for ever if we +don't go in. Come, mamma, you open the door." + +Then Mrs. Dale did open the door, giving some little premonitory +notice with the handle, so that the couple inside might be warned of +approaching footsteps. Crofts had not escaped, either through the +window or up the chimney, but was seated in the middle of the room +on an empty box, just opposite to Bell, who was seated upon the +lump of carpeting. Bell still wore the checked apron as described +by her sister. What might have been the state of her hands I will +not pretend to say; but I do not believe that her lover had found +anything amiss with them. "How do you do, doctor?" said Mrs. Dale, +striving to use her accustomed voice, and to look as though there +were nothing of special importance in his visit. "I have just come +down from the Great House." + +"Mamma," said Bell, jumping up, "you must not call him doctor any +more." + +"Must I not? Has any one undoctored him?" + +"Oh, mamma, you understand," said Bell. + +"I understand," said Lily, going up to the doctor, and giving him her +cheek to kiss, "he is to be my brother, and I mean to claim him as +such from this moment. I expect him to do everything for us, and not +to call a moment of his time his own." + +"Mrs. Dale," said the doctor, "Bell has consented that it shall be +so, if you will consent." + +"There is but little doubt of that," said Mrs. Dale. + +"We shall not be rich--" began the doctor. + +"I hate to be rich," said Bell. "I hate even to talk about it. I +don't think it quite manly even to think about it; and I'm sure it +isn't womanly." + +"Bell was always a fanatic in praise of poverty," said Mrs. Dale. + +"No; I'm no fanatic. I'm very fond of money earned. I would like to +earn some myself if I knew how." + +"Let her go out and visit the lady patients," said Lily. "They do in +America." + +Then they all went into the parlour and sat round the fire talking as +though they were already one family. The proceeding, considering the +nature of it,--that a young lady, acknowledged to be of great beauty +and known to be of good birth, had on the occasion been asked and +given in marriage,--was carried on after a somewhat humdrum fashion, +and in a manner that must be called commonplace. How different had +it been when Crosbie had made his offer! Lily for the time had been +raised to a pinnacle,--a pinnacle which might be dangerous, but which +was, at any rate, lofty. With what a pretty speech had Crosbie been +greeted! How it had been felt by all concerned that the fortunes +of the Small House were in the ascendant,--felt, indeed, with some +trepidation, but still with much inward triumph. How great had been +the occasion, forcing Lily almost to lose herself in wonderment +at what had occurred! There was no great occasion now, and no +wonderment. No one, unless it was Crofts, felt very triumphant. But +they were all very happy, and were sure that there was safety in +their happiness. It was but the other day that one of them had been +thrown rudely to the ground through the treachery of a lover, but yet +none of them feared treachery from this lover. Bell was as sure of +her lot in life as though she were already being taken home to her +modest house in Guestwick. Mrs. Dale already looked upon the man as +her son, and the party of four as they sat round the fire grouped +themselves as though they already formed one family. + +But Bell was not seated next to her lover. Lily, when she had once +accepted Crosbie, seemed to think that she could never be too near +to him. She had been in no wise ashamed of her love, and had shown +it constantly by some little caressing motion of her hand, leaning +on his arm, looking into his face, as though she were continually +desirous of some palpable assurance of his presence. It was not so at +all with Bell. She was happy in loving and in being loved, but she +required no overt testimonies of affection. I do not think it would +have made her unhappy if some sudden need had required that Crofts +should go to India and back before they were married. The thing was +settled, and that was enough for her. But, on the other hand, when +he spoke of the expediency of an immediate marriage, she raised no +difficulty. As her mother was about to go into a new residence, it +might be as well that that residence should be fitted to the wants of +two persons instead of three. So they talked about chairs and tables, +carpets and kitchens, in a most unromantic, homely, useful manner! +A considerable portion of the furniture in the house they were now +about to leave belonged to the squire,--or to the house rather, +as they were in the habit of saying. The older and more solid +things,--articles of household stuff that stand the wear of half a +century,--had been in the Small House when they came to it. There +was, therefore, a question of buying new furniture for a house in +Guestwick,--a question not devoid of importance to the possessor of +so moderate an income as that owned by Mrs. Dale. In the first month +or two they were to live in lodgings, and their goods were to be +stored in some friendly warehouse. Under such circumstances would +it not be well that Bell's marriage should be so arranged that the +lodging question might not be in any degree complicated by her +necessities? This was the last suggestion made by Dr. Crofts, induced +no doubt by the great encouragement he had received. + +"That would be hardly possible," said Mrs. Dale. "It only wants three +weeks;--and with the house in such a condition!" + +"James is joking," said Bell. + +"I was not joking at all," said the doctor. + +"Why not send for Mr. Boyce, and carry her off at once on a pillion +behind you?" said Lily. "It's just the sort of thing for primitive +people to do, like you and Bell. All the same, Bell, I do wish you +could have been married from this house." + +"I don't think it will make much difference," said Bell. + +"Only if you would have waited till summer we would have had such +a nice party on the lawn. It sounds so ugly, being married from +lodgings; doesn't it, mamma?" + +"It doesn't sound at all ugly to me," said Bell. + +"I shall always call you Dame Commonplace when you're married," said +Lily. + +Then they had tea, and after tea Dr. Crofts got on his horse and rode +back to Guestwick. + +"Now may I talk about him?" said Lily, as soon as the door was closed +behind his back. + +"No; you may not." + +"As if I hadn't known it all along! And wasn't it hard to bear that +you should have scolded me with such pertinacious austerity, and that +I wasn't to say a word in answer!" + +"I don't remember the austerity," said Mrs. Dale. + +"Nor yet Lily's silence," said Bell. + +"But it's all settled now," said Lily, "and I'm downright happy. I +never felt more satisfaction,--never, Bell!" + +"Nor did I," said her mother; "I may truly say that I thank God for +this good thing." + + + + +CHAPTER LI. + +JOHN EAMES DOES THINGS WHICH HE OUGHT NOT TO HAVE DONE. + + +John Eames succeeded in making his bargain with Sir Raffle Buffle. He +accepted the private secretaryship on the plainly expressed condition +that he was to have leave of absence for a fortnight towards the end +of April. Having arranged this he took an affectionate leave of Mr. +Love, who was really much affected at parting with him, discussed +valedictory pots of porter in the big room, over which many wishes +were expressed that he might be enabled to compass the length and +breadth of old Huffle's feet, uttered a last cutting joke at Mr. +Kissing as he met that gentleman hurrying through the passages with +an enormous ledger in his hands, and then took his place in the +comfortable arm-chair which FitzHoward had been forced to relinquish. + +"Don't tell any of the fellows," said Fitz, "but I'm going to cut +the concern altogether. My governor wouldn't let me stop here in any +other place than that of private secretary." + +"Ah, your governor is a swell," said Eames. + +"I don't know about that," said FitzHoward. "Of course he has a good +deal of family interest. My cousin is to come in for St. Bungay at +the next election, and then I can do better than remain here." + +"That's a matter of course," said Eames. "If my cousin were Member +for St. Bungay, I'd never stand anything east of Whitehall." + +"And I don't mean," said FitzHoward. "This room, you know, is all +very nice; but it is a bore coming into the City every day. And then +one doesn't like to be rung for like a servant. Not that I mean to +put you out of conceit with it." + +"It will do very well for me," said Eames. "I never was very +particular." And so they parted, Eames assuming the beautiful +arm-chair and the peril of being asked to carry Sir Raffle's shoes, +while FitzHoward took the vacant desk in the big room till such time +as some member of his family should come into Parliament for the +borough of St. Bungay. + +But Eames, though he drank the porter, and quizzed FitzHoward, and +gibed at Kissing, did not seat himself in his new arm-chair without +some serious thoughts. He was aware that his career in London had not +hitherto been one on which he could look back with self-respect. He +had lived with friends whom he did not esteem; he had been idle, and +sometimes worse than idle; and he had allowed himself to be hampered +by the pretended love of a woman for whom he had never felt any true +affection, and by whom he had been cozened out of various foolish +promises which even yet were hanging over his head. As he sat with +Sir Raffle's notes before him, he thought almost with horror of +the men and women in Burton Crescent. It was now about three years +since he had first known Cradell, and he shuddered as he remembered +how very poor a creature was he whom he had chosen for his bosom +friend. He could not make for himself those excuses which we can +make for him. He could not tell himself that he had been driven by +circumstances to choose a friend, before he had learned to know what +were the requisites for which he should look. He had lived on terms +of closest intimacy with this man for three years, and now his eyes +were opening themselves to the nature of his friend's character. +Cradell was in age three years his senior. "I won't drop him," he +said to himself; "but he is a poor creature." He thought, too, of the +Lupexes, of Miss Spruce, and of Mrs. Roper, and tried to imagine what +Lily Dale would do if she found herself among such people. It would +be impossible that she should ever so find herself. He might as well +ask her to drink at the bar of a gin-shop as to sit down in Mrs. +Roper's drawing-room. If destiny had in store for him such good +fortune as that of calling Lily his own, it was necessary that he +should altogether alter his mode of life. + +In truth his hobbledehoyhood was dropping off from him, as its old +skin drops from a snake. Much of the feeling and something of the +knowledge of manhood was coming on him, and he was beginning to +recognize to himself that the future manner of his life must be to +him a matter of very serious concern. No such thought had come near +him when he first established himself in London. It seems to me that +in this respect the fathers and mothers of the present generation +understand but little of the inward nature of the young men for whom +they are so anxious. They give them credit for so much that it is +impossible they should have, and then deny them credit for so much +that they possess! They expect from them when boys the discretion +of men,--that discretion which comes from thinking; but will not +give them credit for any of that power of thought which alone +can ultimately produce good conduct. Young men are generally +thoughtful,--more thoughtful than their seniors; but the fruit of +their thought is not as yet there. And then so little is done for the +amusement of lads who are turned loose into London at nineteen or +twenty. Can it be that any mother really expects her son to sit alone +evening after evening in a dingy room drinking bad tea, and reading +good books? And yet it seems that mothers do so expect,--the very +mothers who talk about the thoughtlessness of youth! O ye mothers who +from year to year see your sons launched forth upon the perils of +the world, and who are so careful with your good advice, with under +flannel shirting, with books of devotion and tooth-powder, does it +never occur to you that provision should be made for amusement, for +dancing, for parties, for the excitement and comfort of women's +society? That excitement your sons will have, and if it be not +provided by you of one kind, will certainly be provided by themselves +of another kind. If I were a mother sending lads out into the world, +the matter most in my mind would be this,--to what houses full of +nicest girls could I get them admission, so that they might do their +flirting in good company. + +Poor John Eames had been so placed that he had been driven to do his +flirting in very bad company, and he was now fully aware that it had +been so. It wanted but two days to his departure for Guestwick Manor, +and as he sat breathing a while after the manufacture of a large +batch of Sir Raffle's notes, he made up his mind that he would give +Mrs. Roper notice before he started, that on his return to London he +would be seen no more in Burton Crescent. He would break his bonds +altogether asunder, and if there should be any penalty for such +breaking he would pay it in what best manner he might be able. He +acknowledged to himself that he had been behaving badly to Amelia, +confessing, indeed, more sin in that respect than he had in truth +committed; but this, at any rate, was clear to him, that he must put +himself on a proper footing in that quarter before he could venture +to speak to Lily Dale. + +As he came to a definite conclusion on this subject the little +handbell which always stood on Sir Raffle's table was sounded, and +Eames was called into the presence of the great man. "Ah," said Sir +Raffle, leaning back in his arm-chair, and stretching himself after +the great exertions which he had been making--"Ah, let me see! You +are going out of town the day after to-morrow." + +"Yes, Sir Raffle, the day after to-morrow." + +"Ah! it's a great annoyance,--a very great annoyance. But on such +occasions I never think of myself. I never have done so, and don't +suppose I ever shall. So you're going down to my old friend De +Guest?" + +Eames was always angered when his new patron Sir Raffle talked of his +old friendship with the earl, and never gave the Commissioner any +encouragement. "I am going down to Guestwick," said he. + +"Ah! yes; to Guestwick Manor? I don't remember that I was ever there. +I daresay I may have been, but one forgets those things." + +"I never heard Lord De Guest speak of it." + +"Oh, dear, no. Why should his memory be better than mine? Tell him, +will you, how very glad I shall be to renew our old intimacy. I +should think nothing of running down to him for a day or two in the +dull time of the year,--say in September or October. It's rather a +coincidence our both being interested about you,--isn't it?" + +"I'll be sure to tell him." + +"Mind you do. He's one of our most thoroughly independent noblemen, +and I respect him very highly. Let me see; didn't I ring my bell? +What was it I wanted? I think I rang my bell." + +"You did ring your bell." + +"Ah, yes; I know. I am going away, and I wanted my--would you tell +Rafferty to bring me--my boots?" Whereupon Johnny rang the bell--not +the little handbell, but the other bell. "And I shan't be here +to-morrow," continued Sir Raffle. "I'll thank you to send my +letters up to the square; and if they should send down from the +Treasury;--but the Chancellor would write, and in that case you'll +send up his letter at once by a special messenger, of course." + +"Here's Rafferty," said Eames, determined that he would not even +sully his lips with speaking of Sir Raffle's boots. + +"Oh, ah, yes; Rafferty, bring me my boots." + +"Anything else to say?" asked Eames. + +"No, nothing else. Of course you'll be careful to leave everything +straight behind you." + +"Oh, yes; I'll leave it all straight." Then Eames withdrew, so that +he might not be present at the interview between Sir Raffle and his +boots. "He'll not do," said Sir Raffle to himself. "He'll never do. +He's not quick enough,--has no go in him. He's not man enough for the +place. I wonder why the earl has taken him by the hand in that way." + +Soon after the little episode of the boots Eames left his office, and +walked home alone to Burton Crescent. He felt that he had gained a +victory in Sir Raffle's room, but the victory there had been easy. +Now he had another battle on his hands, in which, as he believed, the +achievement of victory would be much more difficult. Amelia Roper was +a person much more to be feared than the Chief Commissioner. He had +one strong arrow in his quiver on which he would depend, if there +should come to him the necessity of giving his enemy a death-wound. +During the last week she had been making powerful love to Cradell, +so as to justify the punishment of desertion from a former lover. He +would not throw Cradell in her teeth if he could help it; but it was +incumbent on him to gain a victory, and if the worst should come to +the worst, he must use such weapons as destiny and the chance of war +had given him. + +He found Mrs. Roper in the dining-room as he entered, and immediately +began his work. "Mrs. Roper," he said, "I'm going out of town the day +after to-morrow." + +"Oh, yes, Mr. Eames, we know that. You're going as a visitor to the +noble mansion of the Earl De Guest." + +"I don't know about the mansion being very noble, but I'm going down +into the country for a fortnight. When I come back--" + +"When you come back, Mr. Eames, I hope you'll find your room a deal +more comfortable. I know it isn't quite what it should be for a +gentleman like you, and I've been thinking for some time past--" + +"But, Mrs. Roper, I don't mean to come back here any more. It's just +that that I want to say to you." + +"Not come back to the crescent!" + +"No, Mrs. Roper. A fellow must move sometimes, you know; and I'm sure +I've been very constant to you for a long time." + +"But where are you going, Mr. Eames?" + +"Well; I haven't just made up my mind as yet. That is, it will depend +on what I may do,--on what friends of mine may say down in the +country. You'll not think I'm quarrelling with you, Mrs. Roper." + +"It's them Lupexes as have done it," said Mrs. Roper, in her deep +distress. + +"No, indeed, Mrs. Roper, nobody has done it." + +"Yes, it is; and I'm not going to blame you, Mr. Eames. They've made +the house unfit for any decent young gentleman like you. I've been +feeling that all along; but it's hard upon a lone woman like me, +isn't it, Mr. Eames?" + +"But, Mrs. Roper, the Lupexes have had nothing to do with my going." + +"Oh, yes, they have; I understand it all. But what could I do, Mr. +Eames? I've been giving them warning every week for the last six +months; but the more I give them warning, the more they won't go. +Unless I were to send for a policeman, and have a row in the house--" + +"But I haven't complained of the Lupexes, Mrs. Roper." + +"You wouldn't be quitting without any reason, Mr. Eames. You are not +going to be married in earnest, are you, Mr. Eames?" + +"Not that I know of." + +"You may tell me; you may, indeed. I won't say a word,--not to +anybody. It hasn't been my fault about Amelia. It hasn't really." + +"Who says there's been any fault?" + +"I can see, Mr. Eames. Of course it didn't do for me to interfere. +And if you had liked her, I will say I believe she'd have made as +good a wife as any young man ever took; and she can make a few pounds +go farther than most girls. You can understand a mother's feelings; +and if there was to be anything, I couldn't spoil it; could I, now?" + +"But there isn't to be anything." + +"So I've told her for months past. I'm not going to say anything to +blame you; but young men ought to be very particular; indeed they +ought." Johnny did not choose to hint to the disconsolate mother that +it also behoved young women to be very particular, but he thought it. +"I've wished many a time, Mr. Eames, that she had never come here; +indeed I have. But what's a mother to do? I couldn't put her outside +the door." Then Mrs. Roper raised her apron up to her eyes, and began +to sob. + +"I'm very sorry if I've made any mischief," said Johnny. + +"It hasn't been your fault," continued the poor woman, from whom, as +her tears became uncontrollable, her true feelings forced themselves +and the real outpouring of her feminine nature. "Nor it hasn't been +my fault. But I knew what it would come to when I saw how she was +going on; and I told her so. I knew you wouldn't put up with the +likes of her." + +"Indeed, Mrs. Roper, I've always had a great regard for her, and for +you too." + +"But you weren't going to marry her. I've told her so all along, +and I've begged her not to do it,--almost on my knees I have; but +she wouldn't be said by me. She never would. She's always been +that wilful that I'd sooner have her away from me than with me. +Though she's a good young woman in the house,--she is, indeed, Mr. +Eames;--and there isn't a pair of hands in it that works so hard; but +it was no use my talking." + +"I don't think any harm has been done." + +"Yes, there has; great harm. It has made the place not respectable. +It's the Lupexes is the worst. There's Miss Spruce, who has been +with me for nine years,--ever since I've had the house,--she's been +telling me this morning that she means to go into the country. It's +all the same thing. I understand it. I can see it. The house isn't +respectable, as it should be; and your mamma, if she were to know +all, would have a right to be angry with me. I did mean to be +respectable, Mr. Eames; I did indeed." + +"Miss Spruce will think better of it." + +"You don't know what I've had to go through. There's none of them +pays, not regular,--only she and you. She's been like the Bank of +England, has Miss Spruce." + +"I'm afraid I've not been very regular, Mrs. Roper." + +"Oh, yes, you have. I don't think of a pound or two more or less +at the end of a quarter, if I'm sure to have it some day. The +butcher,--he understands one's lodgers just as well as I do,--if the +money's really coming, he'll wait; but he won't wait for such as +them Lupexes, whose money's nowhere. And there's Cradell; would you +believe it, that fellow owes me eight and twenty pounds!" + +"Eight and twenty pounds!" + +"Yes, Mr. Eames, eight and twenty pounds! He's a fool. It's them +Lupexes as have had his money. I know it. He don't talk of paying, +and going away. I shall be just left with him and the Lupexes on my +hands; and then the bailiffs may come and sell every stick about the +place. I won't say nay to them." Then she threw herself into the old +horsehair arm-chair, and gave way to her womanly sorrow. + +"I think I'll go upstairs, and get ready for dinner," said Eames. + +"And you must go away when you come back?" said Mrs. Roper. + +"Well, yes, I'm afraid I must. I meant you to have a month's warning +from to-day. Of course I shall pay for the month." + +"I don't want to take any advantage; indeed, I don't. But I do hope +you'll leave your things. You can have them whenever you like. If +Chumpend knows that you and Miss Spruce are both going, of course +he'll be down upon me for his money." Chumpend was the butcher. But +Eames made no answer to this piteous plea. Whether or no he could +allow his old boots to remain in Burton Crescent for the next week +or two, must depend on the manner in which he might be received by +Amelia Roper this evening. + +When he came down to the drawing-room, there was no one there but +Miss Spruce. "A fine day, Miss Spruce," said he. + +"Yes, Mr. Eames, it is a fine day for London; but don't you think the +country air is very nice?" + +"Give me the town," said Johnny, wishing to say a good word for poor +Mrs. Roper, if it were possible. + +"You're a young man, Mr. Eames; but I'm only an old woman. That makes +a difference," said Miss Spruce. + +"Not much," said Johnny, meaning to be civil. "You don't like to be +dull any more than I do." + +"I like to be respectable, Mr. Eames. I always have been respectable, +Mr. Eames." This the old woman said almost in a whisper, looking +anxiously to see that the door had not been opened to other listening +ears. + +"I'm sure Mrs. Roper is very respectable." + +"Yes; Mrs. Roper is respectable, Mr. Eames; but there are some here +that-- Hush-sh-sh!" And the old lady put her finger up to her lips. +The door opened and Mrs. Lupex swam into the room. + +"How d'ye do, Miss Spruce? I declare you're always first. It's to get +a chance of having one of the young gentlemen to yourself, I believe. +What's the news in the city to-day, Mr. Eames? In your position now +of course you hear all the news." + +"Sir Raffle Buffle has got a new pair of shoes. I don't know that for +certain, but I guess it from the time it took him to put them on." + +"Ah! now you're quizzing. That's always the way with you gentlemen +when you get a little up in the world. You don't think women are +worth talking to then, unless just for a joke or so." + +"I'd a great deal sooner talk to you, Mrs. Lupex, than I would to Sir +Raffle Buffle." + +"It's all very well for you to say that. But we women know what +such compliments as those mean;--don't we, Miss Spruce? A woman +that's been married five years as I have--or I may say six,--doesn't +expect much attention from young men. And though I was young when I +married--young in years, that is,--I'd seen too much and gone through +too much to be young in heart." This she said almost in a whisper; +but Miss Spruce heard it, and was confirmed in her belief that Burton +Crescent was no longer respectable. + +"I don't know what you were then, Mrs. Lupex," said Eames; "but +you're young enough now for anything." + +"Mr. Eames, I'd sell all that remains of my youth at a cheap +rate,--at a very cheap rate, if I could only be sure of--" + +"Sure of what, Mrs. Lupex?" + +"The undivided affection of the one person that I loved. That is all +that is necessary to a woman's happiness." + +"And isn't Lupex--" + +"Lupex! But, hush, never mind. I should not have allowed myself to +be betrayed into an expression of feeling. Here's your friend Mr. +Cradell. Do you know I sometimes wonder what you find in that man to +be so fond of him." Miss Spruce saw it all, and heard it all, and +positively resolved upon moving herself to those two small rooms at +Dulwich. + +Hardly a word was exchanged between Amelia and Eames before dinner. +Amelia still devoted herself to Cradell, and Johnny saw that that +arrow, if it should be needed, would be a strong weapon. Mrs. Roper +they found seated at her place at the dining-table, and Eames could +perceive the traces of her tears. Poor woman! Few positions in life +could be harder to bear than hers! To be ever tugging at others for +money that they could not pay; to be ever tugged at for money which +she could not pay; to desire respectability for its own sake, but to +be driven to confess that it was a luxury beyond her means; to put +up with disreputable belongings for the sake of lucre, and then not +to get the lucre, but be driven to feel that she was ruined by the +attempt! How many Mrs. Ropers there are who from year to year sink +down and fall away, and no one knows whither they betake themselves! +One fancies that one sees them from time to time at the corners of +the streets in battered bonnets and thin gowns, with the tattered +remnants of old shawls upon their shoulders, still looking as +though they had within them a faint remembrance of long-distant +respectability. With anxious eyes they peer about, as though +searching in the streets for other lodgers. Where do they get their +daily morsels of bread, and their poor cups of thin tea,--their +cups of thin tea, with perhaps a pennyworth of gin added to it, if +Providence be good! Of this state of things Mrs. Roper had a lively +appreciation, and now, poor woman, she feared that she was reaching +it, by the aid of the Lupexes. On the present occasion she carved her +joint of meat in silence, and sent out her slices to the good guests +that would leave her, and to the bad guests that would remain, with +apathetic impartiality. What was the use now of doing favour to one +lodger or disfavour to another? Let them take their mutton,--they +who would pay for it and they who would not. She would not have the +carving of many more joints in that house if Chumpend acted up to all +the threats which he had uttered to her that morning. + +The reader may, perhaps, remember the little back room behind the +dining parlour. A description was given in some former pages of an +interview which was held between Amelia and her lover. It was in +that room that all the interviews of Mrs. Roper's establishment had +their existence. A special room for interviews is necessary in all +households of a mixed nature. If a man lives alone with his wife, +he can have his interviews where he pleases. Sons and daughters, +even when they are grown up, hardly create the necessity of an +interview-chamber, though some such need may be felt if the daughters +are marriageable and independent in their natures. But when the +family becomes more complicated than this, if an extra young man be +introduced, or an aunt comes into residence, or grown up children +by a former wife interfere with the domestic simplicity, then such +accommodation becomes quite indispensable. No woman would think of +taking in lodgers without such a room; and this room there was at +Mrs. Roper's, very small and dingy, but still sufficient,--just +behind the dining parlour and opposite to the kitchen stairs. Hither, +after dinner, Amelia was summoned. She had just seated herself +between Mrs. Lupex and Miss Spruce, ready to do battle with the +former because she would stay, and with the latter because she would +go, when she was called out by the servant girl. + +"Miss Mealyer, Miss Mealyer,--sh--sh--sh!" And Amelia, looking round, +saw a large red hand beckoning to her. "He's down there," said +Jemima, as soon as her young mistress had joined her, "and wants to +see you most partic'lar." + +"Which of 'em?" asked Amelia, in a whisper. + +"Why, Mr. Heames, to be sure. Don't you go and have anythink to say +to the other one, Miss Mealyer, pray don't; he ain't no good; he +ain't indeed." + +Amelia stood still for a moment on the landing, calculating whether +it would be well for her to have the interview, or well to decline +it. Her objects were two;--or, rather, her object was in its +nature twofold. She was, naturally, anxious to drive John Eames to +desperation; and anxious also, by some slight added artifice, to make +sure of Cradell if Eames's desperation did not have a very speedy +effect. She agreed with Jemima's criticism in the main, but she did +not go quite so far as to think that Cradell was no good at all. Let +it be Eames, if Eames were possible; but let the other string be kept +for use if Eames were not possible. Poor girl! in coming to this +resolve she had not done so without agony. She had a heart, and with +such power as it gave her, she loved John Eames. But the world had +been hard to her; knocking her about hither and thither unmercifully; +threatening, as it now threatened, to take from her what few good +things she enjoyed. When a girl is so circumstanced she cannot afford +to attend to her heart. She almost resolved not to see Eames on the +present occasion, thinking that he might be made the more desperate +by such refusal, and remembering also that Cradell was in the house +and would know of it. + +"He's there a-waiting, Miss Mealyer. Why don't yer come down?" and +Jemima plucked her young mistress by the arm. + +"I am coming," said Amelia. And with dignified steps she descended to +the interview. + +"Here she is, Mr. Heames," said the girl. And then Johnny found +himself alone with his lady-love. + +"You have sent for me, Mr. Eames," she said, giving her head a little +toss, and turning her face away from him. "I was engaged upstairs, +but I thought it uncivil not to come down to you as you sent for me +so special." + +"Yes, Miss Roper, I did want to see you very particularly." + +"Oh, dear!" she exclaimed, and he understood fully that the +exclamation referred to his having omitted the customary use of her +Christian name. + +"I saw your mother before dinner, and I told her that I am going away +the day after to-morrow." + +"We all know about that;--to the earl's, of course!" And then there +was another chuck of her head. + +"And I told her also that I had made up my mind not to come back to +Burton Crescent." + +"What! leave the house altogether!" + +"Well; yes. A fellow must make a change sometimes, you know." + +"And where are you going, John?" + +"That I don't know as yet." + +"Tell me the truth, John; are you going to be married? Are +you--going--to marry--that young woman,--Mr. Crosbie's leavings? +I demand to have an answer at once. Are you going to marry her?" + +He had determined very resolutely that nothing she might say should +make him angry, but when she thus questioned him about "Crosbie's +leavings" he found it very difficult to keep his temper. "I have not +come," said he, "to speak to you about any one but ourselves." + +"That put-off won't do with me, sir. You are not to treat any girl +you may please in that sort of way;--oh, John!" Then she looked at +him as though she did not know whether to fly at him and cover him +with kisses, or to fly at him and tear his hair. + +"I know I haven't behaved quite as I should have done," he began. + +"Oh, John!" and she shook her head. "You mean, then, to tell me that +you are going to marry her?" + +"I mean to say nothing of the kind. I only mean to say that I am +going away from Burton Crescent." + +"John Eames, I wonder what you think will come to you! Will you +answer me this; have I had a promise from you,--a distinct promise, +over and over again, or have I not?" + +"I don't know about a distinct promise--" + +"Well, well! I did think that you was a gentleman that would not go +back from your word. I did think that. I did think that you would +never put a young lady to the necessity of bringing forward her own +letters to prove that she is not expecting more than she has a right! +You don't know! And that, after all that has been between us! John +Eames!" And again it seemed to him as though she were about to fly. + +"I tell you that I know I haven't behaved well. What more can I say?" + +"What more can you say? Oh, John! to ask me such a question! If you +were a man you would know very well what more to say. But all you +private secretaries are given to deceit, as the sparks fly upwards. +However, I despise you,--I do, indeed. I despise you." + +"If you despise me, we might as well shake hands and part at once. +I daresay that will be best. One doesn't like to be despised, of +course; but sometimes one can't help it." And then he put out his +hand to her. + +"And is this to be the end of all?" she said, taking it. + +"Well, yes; I suppose so. You say I'm despised." + +"You shouldn't take up a poor girl in that way for a sharp word,--not +when she is suffering as I am made to suffer. If you only think of +it,--think what I have been expecting!" And now Amelia began to cry, +and to look as though she were going to fall into his arms. + +"It is better to tell the truth," he said; "isn't it?" + +"But it shouldn't be the truth." + +"But it is the truth. I couldn't do it. I should ruin myself and you +too, and we should never be happy." + +"I should be happy,--very happy indeed." At this moment the poor +girl's tears were unaffected, and her words were not artful. For a +minute or two her heart,--her actual heart,--was allowed to prevail. + +"It cannot be, Amelia. Will you not say good-by?" + +"Good-by," she said, leaning against him as she spoke. + +"I do so hope you will be happy," he said. And then, putting his arm +round her waist, he kissed her; which he certainly ought not to have +done. + +When the interview was over, he escaped out into the crescent, and +as he walked down through the squares,--Woburn Square, and Russell +Square, and Bedford Square,--towards the heart of London, he felt +himself elated almost to a state of triumph. He had got himself well +out of his difficulties, and now he would be ready for his love-tale +to Lily. + + + + +CHAPTER LII. + +THE FIRST VISIT TO THE GUESTWICK BRIDGE. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +When John Eames arrived at Guestwick Manor, he was first welcomed by +Lady Julia. "My dear Mr. Eames," she said, "I cannot tell you how +glad we are to see you." After that she always called him John, and +treated him throughout his visit with wonderful kindness. No doubt +that affair of the bull had in some measure produced this feeling; +no doubt, also, she was well disposed to the man who she hoped might +be accepted as a lover by Lily Dale. But I am inclined to think that +the fact of his having beaten Crosbie had been the most potential +cause of this affection for our hero on the part of Lady Julia. +Ladies,--especially discreet old ladies, such as Lady Julia De +Guest,--are bound to entertain pacific theories, and to condemn +all manner of violence. Lady Julia would have blamed any one who +might have advised Eames to commit an assault upon Crosbie. But, +nevertheless, deeds of prowess are still dear to the female heart, +and a woman, be she ever so old and discreet, understands and +appreciates the summary justice which may be done by means of a +thrashing. Lady Julia, had she been called upon to talk of it, would +undoubtedly have told Eames that he had committed a fault in striking +Mr. Crosbie; but the deed had been done, and Lady Julia became very +fond of John Eames. + +"Vickers shall show you your room, if you like to go upstairs; but +you'll find my brother close about the house if you choose to go +out; I saw him not half an hour since." But John seemed to be well +satisfied to sit in the arm-chair over the fire, and talk to his +hostess; so neither of them moved. + +"And now that you're a private secretary, how do you like it?" + +"I like the work well enough; only I don't like the man, Lady Julia. +But I shouldn't say so, because he is such an intimate friend of your +brother's." + +"An intimate friend of Theodore's!--Sir Raffle Buffle!" Lady Julia +stiffened her back and put on a serious face, not being exactly +pleased at being told that the Earl De Guest had any such intimate +friend. + +"At any rate he tells me so about four times a day, Lady Julia. And +he particularly wants to come down here next September." + +"Did he tell you that, too?" + +"Indeed he did. You can't believe what a goose he is! Then his voice +sounds like a cracked bell; it's the most disagreeable voice you ever +heard in your life. And one has always to be on one's guard lest he +should make one do something that is--is--that isn't quite the thing +for a gentleman. You understand;--what the messenger ought to do." + +"You shouldn't be too much afraid of your own dignity." + +"No, I'm not. If Lord De Guest were to ask me to fetch him his shoes, +I'd run to Guestwick and back for them and think nothing of it,--just +because I know he's my friend. He'd have a right to send me. But I'm +not going to do such things as that for Sir Raffle Buffle." + +"Fetch him his shoes!" + +"That's what FitzHoward had to do, and he didn't like it." + +"Isn't Mr. FitzHoward nephew to the Duchess of St. Bungay?" + +"Nephew, or cousin, or something." + +"Dear me!" said Lady Julia, "what a horrible man!" And in this way +John Eames and her ladyship became very intimate. + +There was no one at dinner at the Manor that day but the earl and his +sister and their single guest. The earl when he came in was very warm +in his welcome, slapping his young friend on the back, and poking +jokes at him with a good-humoured if not brilliant pleasantry. + +"Thrashed anybody lately, John?" + +"Nobody to speak of," said Johnny. + +"Brought your nightcap down for your out-o'-doors nap?" + +"No; but I've got a grand stick for the bull," said Johnny. + +"Ah! that's no joke now, I can tell you," said the earl. "We had to +sell him, and it half broke my heart. We don't know what had come to +him, but he became quite unruly after that;--knocked Darvell down +in the straw-yard! It was a very bad business,--a very bad business, +indeed! Come, go and dress. Do you remember how you came down to +dinner that day? I shall never forget how Crofts stared at you. Come, +you've only got twenty minutes, and you London fellows always want an +hour." + +"He's entitled to some consideration now he's a private secretary," +said Lady Julia. + +"Bless us all! yes; I forgot that. Come, Mr. Private Secretary, don't +stand on the grandeur of your neck-tie to-day, as there's nobody here +but ourselves. You shall have an opportunity to-morrow." + +Then Johnny was handed over to the groom of the chambers, and exactly +in twenty minutes he re-appeared in the drawing-room. + +As soon as Lady Julia had left them after dinner, the earl began to +explain his plan for the coming campaign. "I'll tell you now what I +have arranged," said he. "The squire is to be here to-morrow with his +eldest niece,--your Miss Lily's sister, you know." + +"What, Bell?" + +"Yes, with Bell, if her name is Bell. She's a very pretty girl, too. +I don't know whether she's not the prettiest of the two, after all." + +"That's a matter of opinion." + +"Just so, Johnny; and do you stick to your own. They're coming here +for three or four days. Lady Julia did ask Mrs. Dale and Lily. I +wonder whether you'll let me call her Lily?" + +"Oh, dear! I wish I might have the power of letting you." + +"That's just the battle that you've got to fight. But the mother +and the younger sister wouldn't come. Lady Julia says it's all +right;--that, as a matter of course, she wouldn't come when she heard +you were to be here. I don't quite understand it. In my days the +young girls were ready enough to go where they knew they'd meet their +lovers, and I never thought any the worse of them for it." + +"It wasn't because of that," said Eames. + +"That's what Lady Julia says, and I always find her to be right in +things of that sort. And she says you'll have a better chance in +going over there than you would here, if she were in the same house +with you. If I was going to make love to a girl, of course I'd sooner +have her close to me,--staying in the same house. I should think it +the best fun in the world. And we might have had a dance, and all +that kind of thing. But I couldn't make her come, you know." + +"Oh, no; of course not." + +"And Lady Julia thinks that it's best as it is. You must go over, you +know, and get the mother on your side, if you can. I take it, the +truth is this;--you mustn't be angry with me, you know, for saying +it." + +"You may be sure of that." + +"I suppose she was fond of that fellow, Crosbie. She can't be very +fond of him now, I should think, after the way he has treated her; +but she'll find a difficulty in making her confession that she really +likes you better than she ever liked him. Of course that's what +you'll want her to say." + +"I want her to say that she'll be my wife,--some day." + +"And when she has agreed to the some day, then you'll begin to press +her to agree to your day;--eh, sir? My belief is you'll bring her +round. Poor girl! why should she break her heart when a decent fellow +like you will only be too glad to make her a happy woman?" And in +this way the earl talked to Eames till the latter almost believed +that the difficulties were vanishing from out of his path. "Could +it be possible," he asked himself, as he went to bed, "that in a +fortnight's time Lily Dale should have accepted him as her future +husband?" Then he remembered that day on which Crosbie, with the +two girls, had called at his mother's house, when in the bitterness +of his heart, he had sworn to himself that he would always regard +Crosbie as his enemy. Since then the world had gone well with him; +and he had no longer any very bitter feeling against Crosbie. That +matter had been arranged on the platform of the Paddington Station. +He felt that if Lily would now accept him he could almost shake hands +with Crosbie. The episode in his life and in Lily's would have been +painful; but he would learn to look back upon that without regret, if +Lily could be taught to believe that a kind fate had at last given +her to the better of her two lovers. "I'm afraid she won't bring +herself to forget him," he had said to the earl. "She'll only be too +happy to forget him," the earl had answered, "if you can induce her +to begin the attempt. Of course it is very bitter at first;--all the +world knew about it; but, poor girl, she is not to be wretched for +ever, because of that. Do you go about your work with some little +confidence, and I doubt not but what you'll have your way. You have +everybody in your favour,--the squire, her mother, and all." While +such words as these were in his ears how could he fail to hope and to +be confident? While he was sitting cozily over his bedroom fire he +resolved that it should be as the earl had said. But when he got up +on the following morning, and stood shivering as he came out of his +bath, he could not feel the same confidence. "Of course I shall go +to her," he said to himself, "and make a plain story of it. But I +know what her answer will be. She will tell me that she cannot forget +him." Then his feelings towards Crosbie were not so friendly as they +had been on the previous evening. + +He did not visit the Small House on that, his first day. It had been +thought better that he should first meet the squire and Bell at +Guestwick Manor, so he postponed his visit to Mrs. Dale till the next +morning. + +"Go when you like," said the earl. "There's the brown cob for you to +do what you like with him while you are here." + +"I'll go and see my mother," said John; "but I won't take the cob +to-day. If you'll let me have him to-morrow, I'll ride to Allington." +So he walked off to Guestwick by himself. + +He knew well every yard of the ground over which he went, remembering +every gate and stile and greensward from the time of his early +boyhood. And now as he went along through his old haunts, he could +not but look back and think of the thoughts which had filled his mind +in his earlier wanderings. As I have said before, in some of these +pages, no walks taken by the man are so crowded with thought as those +taken by the boy. He had been early taught to understand that the +world to him would be very hard; that he had nothing to look to but +his own exertions, and that those exertions would not, unfortunately, +be backed by any great cleverness of his own. I do not know that +anybody had told him that he was a fool; but he had come to +understand, partly through his own modesty, and partly, no doubt, +through the somewhat obtrusive diffidence of his mother, that he was +less sharp than other lads. It is probably true that he had come to +his sharpness later in life than is the case with many young men. He +had not grown on the sunny side of the wall. Before that situation +in the Income-tax Office had fallen in his way, very humble modes of +life had offered themselves,--or, rather, had not offered themselves +for his acceptance. He had endeavoured to become an usher at a +commercial seminary, not supposed to be in a very thriving condition; +but he had been, luckily, found deficient in his arithmetic. There +had been some chance of his going into the leather-warehouse of +Messrs. Basil and Pigskin, but those gentlemen had required a +premium, and any payment of that kind had been quite out of his +mother's power. A country attorney, who had known the family for +years, had been humbly solicited, the widow almost kneeling before +him with tears, to take Johnny by the hand and make a clerk of him; +but the attorney had discovered that Master Johnny Eames was not +supposed to be sharp, and would have none of him. During those days, +those gawky, gainless, un-admired days, in which he had wandered +about the lanes of Guestwick as his only amusement, and had composed +hundreds of rhymes in honour of Lily Dale which no human eye but his +own had ever seen, he had come to regard himself as almost a burden +upon the earth. Nobody seemed to want him. His own mother was very +anxious; but her anxiety seemed to him to indicate a continual desire +to get rid of him. For hours upon hours he would fill his mind with +castles in the air, dreaming of wonderful successes in the midst of +which Lily Dale always reigned as a queen. He would carry on the +same story in his imagination from month to month, almost contenting +himself with such ideal happiness. Had it not been for the possession +of that power, what comfort could there have been to him in his life? +There are lads of seventeen who can find happiness in study, who can +busy themselves in books and be at their ease among the creations +of other minds. These are they who afterwards become well-informed +men. It was not so with John Eames. He had never been studious. The +perusal of a novel was to him in those days a slow affair; and of +poetry he read but little, storing up accurately in his memory all +that he did read. But he created for himself his own romance, though +to the eye a most unromantic youth; and he wandered through the +Guestwick woods with many thoughts of which they who knew him best +knew nothing. All this he thought of now as, with devious steps, he +made his way towards his old home;--with very devious steps, for he +went backwards through the woods by a narrow path which led right +away from the town down to a little water-course, over which stood a +wooden foot-bridge with a rail. He stood on the centre of the plank, +at a spot which he knew well, and rubbing his hand upon the rail, +cleansed it for the space of a few inches of the vegetable growth +produced by the spray of the water. There, rudely carved in the wood, +was still the word LILY. When he cut those letters she had been +almost a child. "I wonder whether she will come here with me and let +me show it to her," he said to himself. Then he took out his knife +and cleared the cuttings of the letters, and having done so, leaned +upon the rail, and looked down upon the running water. How well +things in the world had gone for him! How well! And yet what would +it all be if Lily would not come to him? How well the world had gone +for him! In those days when he stood there carving the girl's name +everybody had seemed to regard him as a heavy burden, and he had so +regarded himself. Now he was envied by many, respected by many, taken +by the hand as a friend by those high in the world's esteem. When +he had come near the Guestwick Mansion in his old walks,--always, +however, keeping at a great distance lest the grumpy old lord should +be down upon him and scold him,--he had little dreamed that he and +the grumpy old lord would ever be together on such familiar terms, +that he would tell to that lord more of his private thoughts than to +any other living being; yet it had come to that. The grumpy old lord +had now told him that that gift of money was to be his whether Lily +Dale accepted him or no. "Indeed, the thing's done," said the grumpy +lord, pulling out from his pocket certain papers, "and you've got +to receive the dividends as they become due." Then, when Johnny +had expostulated,--as, indeed, the circumstances had left him no +alternative but to expostulate,--the earl had roughly bade him hold +his tongue, telling him that he would have to fetch Sir Raffle's +boots directly he got back to London. So the conversation had quickly +turned itself away to Sir Raffle, whom they had both ridiculed with +much satisfaction. "If he finds his way down here in September, +Master Johnny, or in any other month either, you may fit my head +with a foolscap. Not remember, indeed! Is it not wonderful that any +man should make himself so mean a fool?" All this was thought over +again, as Eames leaned upon the bridge. He remembered every word, +and remembered many other words,--earlier words, spoken years ago, +filling him with desolation as to the prospects of his life. It had +seemed that his friends had united in prophesying that the outlook +into the world for him was hopeless, and that the earning of bread +must be for ever beyond his power. And now his lines had fallen to +him in very pleasant places, and he was among those whom the world +had determined to caress. And yet, what would it all be if Lily would +not share his happiness? When he had carved that name on the rail, +his love for Lily had been an idea. It had now become a reality which +might probably be full of pain. If it were so,--if such should be +the result of his wooing,--would not those old dreamy days have been +better than these--the days of his success? + +It was one o'clock by the time that he reached his mother's house, +and he found her and his sister in a troubled and embarrassed state. +"Of course you know, John," said his mother, as soon as their first +embraces were over, "that we are going to dine at the Manor this +evening?" But he did not know it, neither the earl nor Lady Julia +having said anything on the subject. "Of course we are going," said +Mrs. Eames, "and it was so very kind. But I've never been out to such +a house for so many years, John, and I do feel in such a twitter. I +dined there once, soon after we were married; but I never have been +there since that." + +"It's not the earl I mind, but Lady Julia," said Mary Eames. + +"She's the most good-natured woman in the world," said Johnny. + +"Oh, dear; people say she is so cross!" + +"That's because people don't know her. If I was asked who is the +kindest-hearted woman I know in the world, I think I should say Lady +Julia De Guest. I think I should." + +"Ah! but then they're so fond of you," said the admiring mother. "You +saved his lordship's life,--under Providence." + +"That's all bosh, mother. You ask Dr. Crofts. He knows them as well +as I do." + +"Dr. Crofts is going to marry Bell Dale," said Mary; and then the +conversation was turned from the subject of Lady Julia's perfections, +and the awe inspired by the earl. + +"Crofts going to marry Bell!" exclaimed Eames, thinking almost with +dismay of the doctor's luck in thus getting himself accepted all at +once, while he had been suing with the constancy almost of a Jacob. + +"Yes," said Mary; "and they say that she has refused her cousin +Bernard, and that, therefore, the squire is taking away the house +from them. You know they're all coming into Guestwick." + +"Yes, I know they are. But I don't believe that the squire is taking +away the house." + +"Why should they come then? Why should they give up such a charming +place as that?" + +"Rent-free!" said Mrs. Eames. + +"I don't know why they should come away, but I can't believe the +squire is turning them out; at any rate not for that reason." The +squire was prepared to advocate John's suit, and therefore John was +bound to do battle on the squire's behalf. + +"He is a very stern man," said Mrs. Eames, "and they say that since +that affair of poor Lily's he has been more cross than ever with +them. As far as I know, it was not Lily's fault." + +"Poor Lily!" said Mary. "I do pity her. If I was her I should hardly +know how to show my face; I shouldn't, indeed." + +"And why shouldn't she show her face?" said John, in an angry tone. +"What has she done to be ashamed of? Show her face indeed! I cannot +understand the spite which one woman will sometimes have to another." + +"There is no spite, John; and it's very wrong of you to say so," said +Mary, defending herself. "But it is a very unpleasant thing for a +girl to be jilted. All the world knows that she was engaged to him." + +"And all the world knows--" But he would not proceed to declare that +all the world knew also that Crosbie had been well thrashed for his +baseness. It would not become him to mention that even before his +mother and sister. All the world did know it; all the world that +cared to know anything of the matter;--except Lily Dale herself. +Nobody had ever yet told Lily Dale of that occurrence at the +Paddington Railway Station, and it was well for John that her friends +and his had been so discreet. + +"Oh, of course you are her champion," said Mary. "And I didn't +mean to say anything unkind. Indeed I didn't. Of course it was a +misfortune." + +"I think it was the best piece of good fortune that could have +happened to her, not to marry a d---- scoundrel like--" + +"Oh, John!" exclaimed Mrs. Eames. + +"I beg your pardon, mother. But it isn't swearing to call such a +man as that a d---- scoundrel." And he particularly emphasized the +naughty word, thinking that thereby he would add to its import, and +take away from its naughtiness. "But we won't talk any more about +him. I hate the man's very name. I hated him the first moment that I +saw him, and knew that he was a blackguard from his look. And I don't +believe a word about the squire having been cross to them. Indeed I +know he has been the reverse of cross. So Bell is going to marry Dr. +Crofts!" + +"There is no doubt on earth about that," said Mary. "And they say +that Bernard Dale is going abroad with his regiment." + +Then John discussed with his mother his duties as private secretary, +and his intention of leaving Mrs. Roper's house. "I suppose it isn't +nice enough for you now, John," said his mother. + +"It never was very nice, mother, to tell you the truth. There were +people there--. But you mustn't think I am turning up my nose because +I'm getting grand. I don't want to live any better than we all lived +at Mrs. Roper's; but she took in persons that were not agreeable. +There is a Mr. and Mrs. Lupex there." Then he described something +of their life in Burton Crescent, but did not say much about Amelia +Roper. Amelia Roper had not made her appearance in Guestwick, as he +had once feared that she would do; and therefore it did not need that +he should at present make known to his mother that episode in his +life. + +When he got back to the Manor House he found that Mr. Dale and his +niece had arrived. They were both sitting with Lady Julia when he +went into the morning room, and Lord De Guest was standing over the +fire talking to them. Eames as he came among them felt terribly +conscious of his position, as though all there were aware that he had +been brought down from London on purpose to make a declaration of +love;--as, indeed, all of them were aware of that fact. Bell, though +no one had told her so in direct words, was as sure of it as the +others. + +"Here comes the prince of matadores," said the earl. + +"No, my lord; you're the prince. I'm only your first follower." +Though he could contrive that his words should be gay, his looks were +sheepish, and when he gave his hand to the squire it was only by a +struggle that he could bring himself to look straight into the old +man's face. + +"I'm very glad to see you, John," said the squire, "very glad +indeed." + +"And so am I," said Bell. "I have been so happy to hear that you have +been promoted at your office, and so is mamma." + +"I hope Mrs. Dale is quite well," said he;--"and Lily." The word had +been pronounced, but it had been done with so manifest an effort that +all in the room were conscious of it, and paused as Bell prepared her +little answer. + +"My sister has been very ill, you know,--with scarlatina. But she has +recovered with wonderful quickness, and is nearly well again now. She +will be so glad to see you if you will go over." + +"Yes; I shall certainly go over," said John. + +"And now shall I show you your room, Miss Dale?" said Lady Julia. And +so the party was broken up, and the ice had been broken. + + + + +CHAPTER LIII. + +LOQUITUR HOPKINS. + + +The squire had been told that his niece Bell had accepted Dr. Crofts, +and he had signified a sort of acquiescence in the arrangement, +saying that if it were to be so, he had nothing to say against Dr. +Crofts. He spoke this in a melancholy tone of voice, wearing on his +face that look of subdued sorrow which was now almost habitual to +him. It was to Mrs. Dale that he spoke on the subject. "I could have +wished that it might have been otherwise," he said, "as you are well +aware. I had family reasons for wishing that it might be otherwise. +But I have nothing to say against it. Dr. Crofts, as her husband, +shall be welcome to my house." Mrs. Dale, who had expected much worse +than this, began to thank him for his kindness, and to say that she +also would have preferred to see her daughter married to her cousin. +"But in such a matter the decision should be left entirely to the +girl. Don't you think so?" + +"I have not a word to say against her," he repeated. Then Mrs. Dale +left him, and told her daughter that her uncle's manner of receiving +the news had been, for him, very gracious. "You were his favourite, +but Lily will be so now," said Mrs. Dale. + +"I don't care a bit about that;--or, rather, I do care, and think it +will be in every way better. But as I, who am the naughty one, will +go away, and as Lily, who is the good one, will remain with you, +doesn't it almost seem a pity that you should be leaving the house?" + +Mrs. Dale thought it was almost a pity, but she could not say so now. +"You think Lily will remain," she said. + +"Yes, mamma; I feel sure she will." + +"She was always very fond of John Eames;--and he is doing so well." + +"It will be of no use, mamma. She is fond of him,--very fond. In a +sort of a way she loves him--so well, that I feel sure she never +mentions his name without some inward reference to her old childish +thoughts and fancies. If he had come before Mr. Crosbie it would +have all been well with her. But she cannot do it now. Her pride +would prevent her, even if her heart permitted it. Oh! dear; it's +very wrong of me to say so, after all that I have said before; but +I almost wish you were not going. Uncle Christopher seems to be +less hard than he used to be; and as I was the sinner, and as I am +disposed of--" + +"It is too late now, my dear." + +"And we should neither of us have the courage to mention it to Lily," +said Bell. + +On the following morning the squire sent for his sister-in-law, as it +was his wont to do when necessity came for any discussion on matters +of business. This was perfectly understood between them, and such +sending was not taken as indicating any lack of courtesy on the part +of Mr. Dale. "Mary," he said, as soon as Mrs. Dale was seated, "I +shall do for Bell exactly what I have proposed to do for Lily. I had +intended more than that once, of course. But then it would all have +gone into Bernard's pocket; as it is, I shall make no difference +between them. They shall each have a hundred a year,--that is, when +they marry. You had better tell Crofts to speak to me." + +"Mr. Dale, he doesn't expect it. He does not expect a penny." + +"So much the better for him; and, indeed, so much the better for her. +He won't make her the less welcome to his home because she brings +some assistance to it." + +"We have never thought of it,--any of us. The offer has come so +suddenly that I don't know what I ought to say." + +"Say--nothing. If you choose to make me a return for it--; but I am +only doing what I conceive to be my duty, and have no right to ask +for a kindness in return." + +"But what kindness can we show you, Mr. Dale?" + +"Remain in that house." In saying these last words he spoke as though +he were again angry,--as though he were again laying down the law to +them,--as though he were telling her of a duty which was due to him +and incumbent on her. His voice was as stern and his face as acid as +ever. He said that he was asking for a kindness; but surely no man +ever asked for kindness in a voice so peremptory. "Remain in that +house." Then he turned himself in towards his table as though he had +no more to say. + +But Mrs. Dale was beginning, now at last, to understand something of +his mind and real character. He could be affectionate and forbearing +in his giving; but when asking, he could not be otherwise than stern. +Indeed, he could not ask; he could only demand. + +"We have done so much now," Mrs. Dale began to plead. + +"Well, well, well. I did not mean to speak about that. Things are +unpacked easier than they are packed. But, however-- Never mind. Bell +is to go with me this afternoon to Guestwick Manor. Let her be up +here at two. Grimes can bring her box round, I suppose." + +"Oh, yes: of course." + +"And don't be talking to her about money before she starts. I had +rather you didn't;--you understand. But when you see Crofts, tell him +to come to me. Indeed, he'd better come at once, if this thing is to +go on quickly." + +It may easily be understood that Mrs. Dale would disobey the +injunctions contained in the squire's last words. It was quite out +of the question that she should return to her daughters and not +tell them the result of her morning's interview with their uncle. +A hundred a year in the doctor's modest household would make all +the difference between plenty and want, between modest plenty and +endurable want. Of course she told them, giving Bell to understand +that she must dissemble so far as to pretend ignorance of the affair. + +"I shall thank him at once," said Bell; "and tell him that I did not +at all expect it, but am not too proud to accept it." + +"Pray don't, my dear; not just now. I am breaking a sort of promise +in telling you at all,--only I could not keep it to myself. And he +has so many things to worry him! Though he says nothing about it now, +he has half broken his heart about you and Bernard." Then, too, Mrs. +Dale told the girls what request the squire had just made, and the +manner in which he had made it. "The tone of his voice as he spoke +brought tears into my eyes. I almost wish we had not done anything." + +"But, mamma," said Lily, "what difference can it make to him? You +know that our presence near him was always a trouble to him. He never +really wanted us. He liked to have Bell there when he thought that +Bell would marry his pet." + +"Don't be unkind, Lily." + +"I don't mean to be unkind. Why shouldn't Bernard be his pet? I +love Bernard dearly, and always thought it the best point in uncle +Christopher that he was so fond of him. I knew, you know, that it +was no use. Of course I knew it, as I understood all about--somebody +else. But Bernard is his pet." + +"He's fond of you all, in his own way," said Mrs. Dale. + +"But is he fond of you?--that's the question," said Lily. "We could +have forgiven him anything done to us, and have put up with any words +he might have spoken to us, because he regards us as children. His +giving a hundred a year to Bell won't make you comfortable in this +house if he still domineers over you. If a neighbour be neighbourly, +near neighbourhood is very nice. But uncle Christopher has not +been neighbourly. He has wanted to be more than an uncle to us, on +condition that he might be less than a brother to you. Bell and I +have always felt that his regard on such terms was not worth having." + +"I almost feel that we have been wrong," said Mrs. Dale; "but in +truth I never thought that the matter would be to him one of so much +moment." + +When Bell had gone, Mrs. Dale and Lily were not disposed to continue +with much energy the occupation on which they had all been employed +for some days past. There had been life and excitement in the work +when they had first commenced their packing, but now it was grown +wearisome, dull, and distasteful. Indeed so much of it was done that +but little was left to employ them, except those final strappings and +fastenings, and that last collection of odds and ends which could not +be accomplished till they were absolutely on the point of starting. +The squire had said that unpacking would be easier than packing, and +Mrs. Dale, as she wandered about among the hampers and cases, began +to consider whether the task of restoring all the things to their +old places would be very disagreeable. She said nothing of this to +Lily, and Lily herself, whatever might be her thoughts, made no such +suggestion to her mother. + +"I think Hopkins will miss us more than any one else," she said. +"Hopkins will have no one to scold." + +Just at that moment Hopkins appeared at the parlour window, and +signified his desire for a conference. + +"You must come round," said Lily. "It's too cold for the window to +be opened. I always like to get him into the house, because he feels +himself a little abashed by the chairs and tables; or, perhaps, it is +the carpet that is too much for him. Out on the gravel-walks he is +such a terrible tyrant, and in the greenhouse he almost tramples upon +one!" + +Hopkins, when he did appear at the parlour door, seemed by his manner +to justify Lily's discretion. He was not at all masterful in his +tone or bearing, and seemed to pay to the chairs and tables all the +deference which they could have expected. + +"So you be going in earnest, ma'am," he said, looking down at Mrs. +Dale's feet. + +As Mrs. Dale did not answer him at once, Lily spoke:--"Yes, Hopkins, +we are going in a very few days, now. We shall see you sometimes, I +hope, over at Guestwick." + +"Humph!" said Hopkins. "So you be really going! I didn't think it'd +ever come to that, miss; I didn't indeed,--and no more it oughtn't; +but of course it isn't for me to speak." + +"People must change their residence sometimes, you know," said Mrs. +Dale, using the same argument by which Eames had endeavoured to +excuse his departure to Mrs. Roper. + +"Well, ma'am; it ain't for me to say anything. But this I will say, +I've lived here about t' squire's place, man and boy, jist all my +life, seeing I was born here, as you knows, Mrs. Dale; and of all +the bad things I ever see come about the place, this is a sight the +worst." + +"Oh, Hopkins!" + +"The worst of all, ma'am; the worst of all! It'll just kill t' +squire! There's ne'ery doubt in the world about that. It'll be the +very death of t' old man." + +"That's nonsense, Hopkins," said Lily. + +"Very well, miss. I don't say but what it is nonsense; only you'll +see. There's Mr. Bernard,--he's gone away; and by all accounts he +never did care very much for the place. They all say he's a-going +to the Hingies. And Miss Bell is going to be married,--which is all +proper, in course; why shouldn't she? And why shouldn't you, too, +Miss Lily?" + +"Perhaps I shall, some day, Hopkins." + +"There's no day like the present, Miss Lily. And I do say this, that +the man as pitched into him would be the man for my money." This, +which Hopkins spoke in the excitement of the moment, was perfectly +unintelligible to Lily, and Mrs. Dale, who shuddered as she heard +him, said not a word to call for any explanation. "But," continued +Hopkins, "that's all as it may be, Miss Lily, and you be in the hands +of Providence,--as is others." + +"Exactly so, Hopkins." + +"But why should your mamma be all for going away? She ain't going +to marry no one. Here's the house, and there's she, and there's t' +squire; and why should she be for going away? So much going away all +at once can't be for any good. It's just a breaking up of everything, +as though nothing wasn't good enough for nobody. I never went away, +and I can't abide it." + +"Well, Hopkins; it's settled now," said Mrs. Dale, "and I'm afraid it +can't be unsettled." + +"Settled;--well. Tell me this: do you expect, Mrs. Dale, that he's to +live there all alone by hisself without any one to say a cross word +to,--unless it be me or Dingles; for Jolliffe's worse than nobody, +he's so mortial cross hisself. Of course he can't stand it. If you +goes away, Mrs. Dale, Mister Bernard, he'll be squire in less than +twelve months. He'll come back from the Hingies, then, I suppose?" + +"I don't think my brother-in-law will take it in that way, Hopkins." + +"Ah, ma'am, you don't know him,--not as I knows him;--all the ins +and outs and crinks and crannies of him. I knows him as I does the +old apple-trees that I've been a-handling for forty year. There's a +deal of bad wood about them old cankered trees, and some folk say +they ain't worth the ground they stand on; but I know where the +sap runs, and when the fruit-blossom shows itself I know where the +fruit will be the sweetest. It don't take much to kill one of them +old trees,--but there's life in 'm yet if they be well handled." + +"I'm sure I hope my brother's life may be long spared to him," said +Mrs. Dale. + +"Then don't be taking yourself away, ma'am, into them gashly lodgings +at Guestwick. I says they are gashly for the likes of a Dale. It is +not for me to speak, ma'am, of course. And I only came up now just to +know what things you'd like with you out of the greenhouse." + +"Oh, nothing, Hopkins, thank you," said Mrs. Dale. + +"He told me to put up for you the best I could pick, and I means to +do it;" and Hopkins, as he spoke, indicated by a motion of his head +that he was making reference to the squire. + +"We shan't have any place for them," said Lily. + +"I must send a few, miss, just to cheer you up a bit. I fear you'll +be very dolesome there. And the doctor,--he ain't got what you can +call a regular garden, but there is a bit of a place behind." + +"But we wouldn't rob the dear old place," said Lily. + +"For the matter of that what does it signify? T' squire'll be that +wretched he'll turn sheep in here to destroy the place, or he'll have +the garden ploughed. You see if he don't. As for the place, the place +is clean done for, if you leave it. You don't suppose he'll go and +let the Small House to strangers. T' squire ain't one of that sort +any ways." + +"Ah me!" exclaimed Mrs. Dale, as soon as Hopkins had taken himself +off. + +"What is it, mamma? He's a dear old man, but surely what he says +cannot make you really unhappy." + +"It is so hard to know what one ought to do. I did not mean to be +selfish, but it seems to me as though I were doing the most selfish +thing in the world." + +"Nay, mamma; it has been anything but selfish. Besides, it is we that +have done it; not you." + +"Do you know, Lily, that I also have that feeling as to breaking +up one's old mode of life of which Hopkins spoke. I thought that I +should be glad to escape from this place, but now that the time has +come I dread it." + +"Do you mean that you repent?" + +Mrs. Dale did not answer her daughter at once, fearing to commit +herself by words which could not be retracted. But at last she said, +"Yes, Lily; I think I do repent. I think that it has not been well +done." + +"Then let it be undone," said Lily. + +The dinner-party at Guestwick Manor on that day was not very bright, +and yet the earl had done all in his power to make his guests happy. +But gaiety did not come naturally to his house, which, as will have +been seen, was an abode very unlike in its nature to that of the +other earl at Courcy Castle. Lady De Courcy at any rate understood +how to receive and entertain a house full of people, though the +practice of doing so might give rise to difficult questions in the +privacy of her domestic relations. Lady Julia did not understand it; +but then Lady Julia was never called upon to answer for the expense +of extra servants, nor was she asked about twice a week who +the ---- was to pay the wine-merchant's bill? As regards Lord De +Guest and the Lady Julia themselves, I think they had the best of it; +but I am bound to admit, with reference to chance guests, that the +house was dull. The people who were now gathered at the earl's table +could hardly have been expected to be very sprightly when in company +with each other. The squire was not a man much given to general +society, and was unused to amuse a table full of people. On the +present occasion he sat next to Lady Julia, and from time to time +muttered a few words to her about the state of the country. Mrs. +Eames was terribly afraid of everybody there, and especially of the +earl, next to whom she sat, and whom she continually called "my +lord," showing by her voice as she did so that she was almost alarmed +by the sound of her own voice. Mr. and Mrs. Boyce were there, the +parson sitting on the other side of Lady Julia, and the parson's wife +on the other side of the earl. Mrs. Boyce was very studious to show +that she was quite at home, and talked perhaps more than any one +else; but in doing so she bored the earl most exquisitely, so that he +told John Eames the next morning that she was worse than the bull. +The parson ate his dinner, but said little or nothing between the two +graces. He was a heavy, sensible, slow man, who knew himself and his +own powers. "Uncommon good stewed beef," he said, as he went home; +"why can't we have our beef stewed like that?" "Because we don't pay +our cook sixty pounds a year," said Mrs. Boyce. "A woman with sixteen +pounds can stew beef as well as a woman with sixty," said he; "she +only wants looking after." The earl himself was possessed of a sort +of gaiety. There was about him a lightness of spirit which often made +him an agreeable companion to one single person. John Eames conceived +him to be the most sprightly old man of his day,--an old man with the +fun and frolic almost of a boy. But this spirit, though it would show +itself before John Eames, was not up to the entertainment of John +Eames's mother and sister, together with the squire, the parson, and +the parson's wife of Allington. So that the earl was overweighted and +did not shine on this occasion at his own dinner-table. Dr. Crofts, +who had also been invited, and who had secured the place which was +now peculiarly his own, next to Bell Dale, was no doubt happy enough; +as, let us hope, was the young lady also; but they added very little +to the general hilarity of the company. John Eames was seated between +his own sister and the parson, and did not at all enjoy his position. +He had a full view of the doctor's felicity, as the happy pair sat +opposite to him, and conceived himself to be hardly treated by Lily's +absence. + +The party was certainly very dull, as were all such dinners at +Guestwick Manor. There are houses, which, in their every-day course, +are not conducted by any means in a sad or unsatisfactory manner,--in +which life, as a rule, runs along merrily enough; but which cannot +give a dinner-party; or, I might rather say, should never allow +themselves to be allured into the attempt. The owners of such houses +are generally themselves quite aware of the fact, and dread the +dinner which they resolved to give quite as much as it is dreaded +by their friends. They know that they prepare for their guests an +evening of misery, and for themselves certain long hours of purgatory +which are hardly to be endured. But they will do it. Why that long +table, and all those supernumerary glasses and knives and forks, +if they are never to be used? That argument produces all this +misery; that and others cognate to it. On the present occasion, +no doubt, there were excuses to be made. The squire and his niece +had been invited on special cause, and their presence would have +been well enough. The doctor added in would have done no harm. It +was good-natured, too, that invitation given to Mrs. Eames and her +daughter. The error lay in the parson and his wife. There was no +necessity for their being there, nor had they any ground on which to +stand, except the party-giving ground. Mr. and Mrs. Boyce made the +dinner-party, and destroyed the social circle. Lady Julia knew that +she had been wrong as soon as she had sent out the note. + +Nothing was said on that evening which has any bearing on our story. +Nothing, indeed, was said which had any bearing on anything. The +earl's professed object had been to bring the squire and young Eames +together; but people are never brought together on such melancholy +occasions. Though they sip their port in close contiguity, they are +poles asunder in their minds and feelings. When the Guestwick fly +came for Mrs. Eames, and the parson's pony phaeton came for him and +Mrs. Boyce, a great relief was felt; but the misery of those who were +left had gone too far to allow of any reaction on that evening. The +squire yawned, and the earl yawned, and then there was an end of it +for that night. + + + + +CHAPTER LIV. + +THE SECOND VISIT TO THE GUESTWICK BRIDGE. + + +Bell had declared that her sister would be very happy to see John +Eames if he would go over to Allington, and he had replied that of +course he would go there. So much having been, as it were, settled, +he was able to speak of his visit as a matter of course at the +breakfast-table, on the morning after the earl's dinner-party. +"I must get you to come round with me, Dale, and see what I am +doing to the land," the earl said. And then he proposed to order +saddle-horses. But the squire preferred walking, and in this way they +were disposed of soon after breakfast. + +John had it in his mind to get Bell to himself for half an hour, +and hold a conference with her; but it either happened that Lady +Julia was too keen in her duties as a hostess, or else, as was more +possible, Bell avoided the meeting. No opportunity for such an +interview offered itself, though he hung about the drawing-room all +the morning. "You had better wait for luncheon, now," Lady Julia said +to him about twelve. But this he declined; and taking himself away +hid himself about the place for the next hour and a half. During this +time he considered much whether it would be better for him to ride or +walk. If she should give him any hope, he could ride back triumphant +as a field-marshal. Then the horse would be delightful to him. But +if she should give him no hope,--if it should be his destiny to be +rejected utterly on that morning,--then the horse would be terribly +in the way of his sorrow. Under such circumstances what could he do +but roam wide about across the fields, resting when he might choose +to rest, and running when it might suit him to run. "And she is not +like other girls," he thought to himself. "She won't care for my +boots being dirty." So at last he elected to walk. + +"Stand up to her boldly, man," the earl had said to him. "By George, +what is there to be afraid of? It's my belief they'll give most to +those who ask for most. There's nothing sets 'em against a man like +being sheepish." How the earl knew so much, seeing that he had not +himself given signs of any success in that walk of life, I am not +prepared to say. But Eames took his advice as being in itself good, +and resolved to act upon it. "Not that any resolution will be of any +use," he said to himself, as he walked along. "When the moment comes +I know that I shall tremble before her, and I know that she'll see +it; but I don't think it will make any difference in her." + +He had last seen her on the lawn behind the Small House, just at that +time when her passion for Crosbie was at the strongest. Eames had +gone thither impelled by a foolish desire to declare to her his +hopeless love, and she had answered him by telling him that she loved +Mr. Crosbie better than all the world besides. Of course she had done +so, at that time; but, nevertheless, her manner of telling him had +seemed to him to be cruel. And he also had been cruel. He had told +her that he hated Crosbie,--calling him "that man," and assuring her +that no earthly consideration should induce him to go into "that +man's house." Then he had walked away moodily wishing him all manner +of evil. Was it not singular that all the evil things which he, in +his mind, had meditated for the man, had fallen upon him. Crosbie +had lost his love! He had so proved himself to be a villain that his +name might not be so much as mentioned! He had been ignominiously +thrashed! But what good would all this be if his image were still +dear to Lily's heart? "I told her that I loved her then," he said to +himself, "though I had no right to do so. At any rate I have a right +to tell her now." + +When he reached Allington he did not go in through the village and up +to the front of the Small House by the cross street, but turned by +the church gate and passed over the squire's terrace, and by the end +of the Great House through the garden. Here he encountered Hopkins. +"Why, if that b'aint Mr. Eames!" said the gardener. "Mr. John, may I +make so bold!" and Hopkins held out a very dirty hand, which Eames of +course took, unconscious of the cause of this new affection. + +"I'm just going to call at the Small House, and I thought I'd come +this way." + +"To be sure; this way, or that way, or any way, who's so welcome, Mr. +John? I envies you; I envies you more than I envies any man. If I +could a got him by the scuff of the neck, I'd a treated him jist like +any wermin;--I would, indeed! He was wermin! I ollays said it. I +hated him ollays; I did indeed, Mr. John, from the first moment when +he used to be nigging away at them foutry balls, knocking them in +among the rhododendrons, as though there weren't no flower blossoms +for next year. He never looked at one as though one were a Christian; +did he, Mr. John?" + +"I wasn't very fond of him myself, Hopkins." + +"Of course you weren't very fond of him. Who was?--only she, poor +young lady. She'll be better now, Mr. John, a deal better. He wasn't +a wholesome lover,--not like you are. Tell me, Mr. John, did you give +it him well when you got him? I heard you did;--two black eyes, and +all his face one mash of gore!" And Hopkins, who was by no means a +young man, stiffly put himself into a fighting attitude. + +Eames passed on over the little bridge, which seemed to be in a state +of fast decay, unattended to by any friendly carpenter, now that the +days of its use were so nearly at an end; and on into the garden, +lingering on the spot where he had last said farewell to Lily. He +looked about as though he expected still to find her there; but there +was no one to be seen in the garden, and no sound to be heard. As +every step brought him nearer to her whom he was seeking, he became +more and more conscious of the hopelessness of his errand. Him she +had never loved, and why should he venture to hope that she would +love him now? He would have turned back had he not been aware that +his promise to others required that he should persevere. He had said +that he would do this thing, and he would be as good as his word. But +he hardly ventured to hope that he might be successful. In this frame +of mind he slowly made his way up across the lawn. + +"My dear, there is John Eames," said Mrs. Dale, who had first seen +him from the parlour window. + +"Don't go, mamma." + +"I don't know; perhaps it will be better that I should." + +"No, mamma, no; what good can it do? It can do no good. I like him as +well as I can like any one. I love him dearly. But it can do no good. +Let him come in here, and be very kind to him; but do not go away and +leave us. Of course I knew he would come, and I shall be very glad to +see him." + +Then Mrs. Dale went round to the other room, and admitted her visitor +through the window of the drawing-room. "We are in terrible +confusion, John, are we not?" + +"And so you are really going to live in Guestwick?" + +"Well, it looks like it, does it not? But, to tell you a +secret,--only it must be a secret; you must not mention it at +Guestwick Manor; even Bell does not know;--we have half made up our +minds to unpack all our things and stay where we are." + +Eames was so intent on his own purpose, and so fully occupied with +the difficulty of the task before him, that he could hardly receive +Mrs. Dale's tidings with all the interest which they deserved. +"Unpack them all again," he said. "That will be very troublesome. Is +Lily with you, Mrs. Dale?" + +"Yes, she is in the parlour. Come and see her." So he followed Mrs. +Dale through the hall, and found himself in the presence of his love. + +"How do you do, John?" "How do you do, Lily?" We all know the way +in which such meetings are commenced. Each longed to be tender and +affectionate to the other,--each in a different way; but neither knew +how to throw any tenderness into this first greeting. "So you're +staying at the Manor House," said Lily. + +"Yes; I'm staying there. Your uncle and Bell came yesterday +afternoon." + +"Have you heard about Bell?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"Oh, yes; Mary told me. I'm so glad of it. I always liked Dr. Crofts +very much. I have not congratulated her, because I didn't know +whether it was a secret. But Crofts was there last night, and if it +is a secret he didn't seem to be very careful about keeping it." + +"It is no secret," said Mrs. Dale. "I don't know that I am fond +of such secrets." But as she said this, she thought of Crosbie's +engagement, which had been told to every one, and of its +consequences. + +"Is it to be soon?" he asked. + +"Well, yes; we think so. Of course nothing is settled." + +"It was such fun," said Lily. "James, who took, at any rate, a year +or two to make his proposal, wanted to be married the next day +afterwards." + +"No, Lily; not quite that." + +"Well, mamma, it was very nearly that. He thought it could all be +done this week. It has made us so happy, John! I don't know anybody I +should so much like for a brother. I'm very glad you like him;--very +glad. I hope you'll be friends always." There was some little +tenderness in this,--as John acknowledged to himself. + +"I'm sure we shall,--if he likes it. That is, if I ever happen to see +him. I'll do anything for him I can if he ever comes up to London. +Wouldn't it be a good thing, Mrs. Dale, if he settled himself in +London?" + +"No, John; it would be a very bad thing. Why should he wish to rob me +of my daughter?" + +Mrs. Dale was speaking of her eldest daughter; but the very allusion +to any such robbery covered John Eames's face with a blush, made him +hot up to the roots of his hair, and for the moment silenced him. + +"You think he would have a better career in London?" said Lily, +speaking under the influence of her superior presence of mind. + +She had certainly shown defective judgment in desiring her mother not +to leave them alone; and of this Mrs. Dale soon felt herself aware. +The thing had to be done, and no little precautionary measure, such +as this of Mrs. Dale's enforced presence, would prevent it. Of this +Mrs. Dale was well aware; and she felt, moreover, that John was +entitled to an opportunity of pleading his own cause. It might be +that such opportunity would avail him nothing, but not the less +should he have it of right, seeing that he desired it. But yet Mrs. +Dale did not dare to get up and leave the room. Lily had asked her +not to do so, and at the present period of their lives all Lily's +requests were sacred. They continued for some time to talk of Crofts +and his marriage; and when that subject was finished, they discussed +their own probable,--or, as it seemed now, improbable,--removal to +Guestwick. "It's going too far, mamma," said Lily, "to say that you +think we shall not go. It was only last night that you suggested it. +The truth is, John, that Hopkins came in and discoursed with the +most wonderful eloquence. Nobody dared to oppose Hopkins. He made us +almost cry; he was so pathetic." + +"He has just been talking to me, too," said John, "as I came through +the squire's garden." + +"And what has he been saying to you?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"Oh, I don't know; not much." John, however, remembered well, at this +moment, all that the gardener had said to him. Did she know of that +encounter between him and Crosbie? and if she did know of it, in what +light did she regard it? + +They had sat thus for an hour together, and Eames was not as yet an +inch nearer to his object. He had sworn to himself that he would not +leave the Small House without asking Lily to be his wife. It seemed +to him as though he would be guilty of falsehood towards the earl if +he did so. Lord De Guest had opened his house to him, and had asked +all the Dales there, and had offered himself up as a sacrifice at the +cruel shrine of a serious dinner-party, to say nothing of that easier +and lighter sacrifice which he had made in a pecuniary point of view, +in order that this thing might be done. Under such circumstances +Eames was too honest a man not to do it, let the difficulties in his +way be what they might. + +He had sat there for an hour, and Mrs. Dale still remained with her +daughter. Should he get up boldly and ask Lily to put on her bonnet +and come out into the garden? As the thought struck him, he rose and +grasped at his hat. "I am going to walk back to Guestwick," said he. + +"It was very good of you to come so far to see us." + +"I was always fond of walking," he said. "The earl wanted me to ride, +but I prefer being on foot when I know the country, as I do here." + +"Have a glass of wine before you go." + +"Oh, dear, no. I think I'll go back through the squire's fields, and +out on the road at the white gate. The path is quite dry now." + +"I dare say it is," said Mrs. Dale. + +"Lily, I wonder whether you would come as far as that with me." +As the request was made Mrs. Dale looked at her daughter almost +beseechingly. "Do, pray do," said he; "it is a beautiful day for +walking." + +The path proposed lay right across the field into which Lily had +taken Crosbie when she made her offer to let him off from his +engagement. Could it be possible that she should ever walk there +again with another lover? "No, John," she said; "not to-day, I think. +I am almost tired, and I had rather not go out." + +"It would do you good," said Mrs. Dale. + +"I don't want to be done good to, mamma. Besides, I should have to +come back by myself." + +"I'll come back with you," said Johnny. + +"Oh, yes; and then I should have to go again with you. But, John, +really I don't wish to walk to-day." Whereupon John Eames again put +down his hat. + +"Lily," said he; and then he stopped. Mrs. Dale walked away to the +window, turning her back upon her daughter and visitor. "Lily, I have +come over here on purpose to speak to you. Indeed, I have come down +from London only that I might see you." + +"Have you, John?" + +"Yes, I have. You know well all that I have got to tell you. I loved +you before he ever saw you; and now that he has gone, I love you +better than I ever did. Dear Lily!" and he put out his hand to her. + +"No, John; no," she answered. + +"Must it be always no?" + +"Always no to that. How can it be otherwise? You would not have me +marry you while I love another!" + +"But he is gone. He has taken another wife." + +"I cannot change myself because he is changed. If you are kind to me +you will let that be enough." + +"But you are so unkind to me!" + +"No, no; oh, I would wish to be so kind to you! John, here; take my +hand. It is the hand of a friend who loves you, and will always love +you. Dear John, I will do anything,--everything for you but that." + +"There is only one thing," said he, still holding her by the hand, +but with his face turned from her. + +"Nay; do not say so. Are you worse off than I am? I could not have +that one thing, and I was nearer to my heart's longings than you have +ever been. I cannot have that one thing; but I know that there are +other things, and I will not allow myself to be broken-hearted." + +"You are stronger than I am," he said. + +"Not stronger, but more certain. Make yourself as sure as I am, and +you, too, will be strong. Is it not so, mamma?" + +"I wish it could be otherwise;--I wish it could be otherwise! If you +can give him any hope--" + +"Mamma!" + +"Tell me that I may come again,--in a year," he pleaded. + +"I cannot tell you so. You may not come again,--not in this way. Do +you remember what I told you before, in the garden; that I loved him +better than all the world besides? It is still the same. I still love +him better than all the world. How, then, can I give you any hope?" + +"But it will not be so for ever, Lily." + +"For ever! Why should he not be mine as well as hers when that for +ever comes? John, if you understand what it is to love, you will say +nothing more of it. I have spoken to you more openly about this than +I have ever done to anybody, even to mamma, because I have wished to +make you understand my feelings. I should be disgraced in my own eyes +if I admitted the love of another man, after--after--. It is to me +almost as though I had married him. I am not blaming him, remember. +These things are different with a man." + +She had not dropped his hand, and as she made her last speech was +sitting in her old chair with her eyes fixed upon the ground. She +spoke in a low voice, slowly, almost with difficulty; but still the +words came very clearly, with a clear, distinct voice which caused +them to be remembered with accuracy, both by Eames and Mrs. Dale. To +him it seemed to be impossible that he should continue his suit after +such a declaration. To Mrs. Dale they were terrible words, speaking +of a perpetual widowhood, and telling of an amount of suffering +greater even than that which she had anticipated. It was true that +Lily had never said so much to her as she had now said to John +Eames, or had attempted to make so clear an exposition of her own +feelings. "I should be disgraced in my own eyes if I admitted the +love of another man!" They were terrible words, but very easy to be +understood. Mrs. Dale had felt, from the first, that Eames was coming +too soon, that the earl and the squire together were making an effort +to cure the wound too quickly after its infliction; that time should +have been given to her girl to recover. But now the attempt had been +made, and words had been forced from Lily's lips, the speaking of +which would never be forgotten by herself. + +"I knew that it would be so," said John. + +"Ah, yes; you know it, because your heart understands my heart. And +you will not be angry with me, and say naughty, cruel words, as you +did once before. We will think of each other, John, and pray for each +other; and will always love one another. When we do meet let us be +glad to see each other. No other friend shall ever be dearer to me +than you are. You are so true and honest! When you marry I will tell +your wife what an infinite blessing God has given her." + +"You shall never do that." + +"Yes, I will. I understand what you mean; but yet I will." + +"Good-by, Mrs. Dale," he said. + +"Good-by, John. If it could have been otherwise with her, you should +have had all my best wishes in the matter. I would have loved you +dearly as my son; and I will love you now." Then she put up her lips +and kissed his face. + +"And so will I love you," said Lily, giving him her hand again. He +looked longingly into her face as though he had thought it possible +that she also might kiss him: then he pressed her hand to his lips, +and without speaking any further farewell, took up his hat and left +the room. + +"Poor fellow!" said Mrs. Dale. + +"They should not have let him come," said Lily. "But they don't +understand. They think that I have lost a toy, and they mean to be +good-natured, and to give me another." Very shortly after that Lily +went away by herself, and sat alone for hours; and when she joined +her mother again at tea-time, nothing further was said of John +Eames's visit. + +He made his way out by the front door, and through the churchyard, +and in this way on to the field through which he had asked Lily to +walk with him. He hardly began to think of what had passed till he +had left the squire's house behind him. As he made his way through +the tombstones he paused and read one, as though it interested him. +He stood a moment under the tower looking up at the clock, and then +pulled out his own watch, as though to verify the one by the other. +He made, unconsciously, a struggle to drive away from his thoughts +the facts of the late scene, and for some five or ten minutes he +succeeded. He said to himself a word or two about Sir Raffle and his +letters, and laughed inwardly as he remembered the figure of Rafferty +bringing in the knight's shoes. He had gone some half mile upon his +way before he ventured to stand still and tell himself that he had +failed in the great object of his life. + +Yes; he had failed: and he acknowledged to himself, with bitter +reproaches, that he had failed, now and for ever. He told himself +that he had obtruded upon her in her sorrow with an unmannerly love, +and rebuked himself as having been not only foolish but ungenerous. +His friend the earl had been wont, in his waggish way, to call him +the conquering hero, and had so talked him out of his common sense +as to have made him almost think that he would be successful in his +suit. Now, as he told himself that any such success must have been +impossible, he almost hated the earl for having brought him to this +condition. A conquering hero, indeed! How should he manage to sneak +back among them all at the Manor House, crestfallen and abject in his +misery? Everybody knew the errand on which he had gone, and everybody +must know of his failure. How could he have been such a fool as to +undertake such a task under the eyes of so many lookers-on? Was it +not the case that he had so fondly expected success, as to think only +of his triumph in returning, and not of his more probable disgrace? +He had allowed others to make a fool of him, and had so made a fool +of himself that now all hope and happiness were over for him. How +could he escape at once out of the country,--back to London? How +could he get away without saying a word further to any one? That was +the thought that at first occupied his mind. + +He crossed the road at the end of the squire's property, where the +parish of Allington divides itself from that of Abbot's Guest in +which the earl's house stands, and made his way back along the copse +which skirted the field in which they had encountered the bull, into +the high woods which were at the back of the park. Ah, yes; it had +been well for him that he had not come out on horseback. That ride +home along the high road and up to the Manor House stables would, +under his present circumstances, have been almost impossible to him. +As it was, he did not think it possible that he should return to +his place in the earl's house. How could he pretend to maintain his +ordinary demeanour under the eyes of those two old men? It would be +better for him to get home to his mother,--to send a message from +thence to the Manor, and then to escape back to London. So thinking, +but with no resolution made, he went on through the woods, and down +from the hill back towards the town till he again came to the little +bridge over the brook. There he stopped and stood a while with +his broad hand spread over the letters which he had cut in those +early days, so as to hide them from his sight. "What an ass I have +been,--always and ever!" he said to himself. + +It was not only of his late disappointment that he was thinking, but +of his whole past life. He was conscious of his hobbledehoyhood,--of +that backwardness on his part in assuming manhood which had rendered +him incapable of making himself acceptable to Lily before she had +fallen into the clutches of Crosbie. As he thought of this he +declared to himself that if he could meet Crosbie again he would +again thrash him,--that he would so belabour him as to send him out +of the world, if such sending might possibly be done by fair beating, +regardless whether he himself might be called upon to follow him. +Was it not hard that for the two of them,--for Lily and for him +also,--there should be such punishment because of the insincerity of +that man? When he had thus stood upon the bridge for some quarter of +an hour, he took out his knife, and, with deep, rough gashes in the +wood, cut out Lily's name from the rail. + +He had hardly finished, and was still looking at the chips as they +were being carried away by the stream, when a gentle step came close +up to him, and turning round, he saw that Lady Julia was on the +bridge. She was close to him, and had already seen his handiwork. +"Has she offended you, John?" she said. + +"Oh, Lady Julia!" + +"Has she offended you?" + +"She has refused me, and it is all over." + + +[ILLUSTRATION: "She has refused me, and it is all over."] + + +"It may be that she has refused you, and that yet it need not be all +over. I am sorry that you have cut out the name, John. Do you mean to +cut it out from your heart?" + +"Never. I would if I could, but I never shall." + +"Keep to it as to a great treasure. It will be a joy to you in after +years, and not a sorrow. To have loved truly, even though you shall +have loved in vain, will be a consolation when you are as old as I +am. It is something to have had a heart." + +"I don't know. I wish that I had none." + +"And, John;--I can understand her feeling now; and indeed, I thought +all through that you were asking her too soon; but the time may yet +come when she will think better of your wishes." + +"No, no; never. I begin to know her now." + +"If you can be constant in your love you may win her yet. Remember +how young she is; and how young you both are. Come again in two +years' time, and then, when you have won her, you shall tell me that +I have been a good old woman to you both." + +"I shall never win her, Lady Julia." As he spoke these last words +the tears were running down his cheeks, and he was weeping openly in +presence of his companion. It was well for him that she had come upon +him in his sorrow. When he once knew that she had seen his tears, he +could pour out to her the whole story of his grief; and as he did so +she led him back quietly to the house. + + + + +CHAPTER LV. + +NOT VERY FIE FIE AFTER ALL. + + +It will perhaps be remembered that terrible things had been foretold +as about to happen between the Hartletop and Omnium families. Lady +Dumbello had smiled whenever Mr. Plantagenet Palliser had spoken +to her. Mr. Palliser had confessed to himself that politics were +not enough for him, and that Love was necessary to make up the full +complement of his happiness. Lord Dumbello had frowned latterly when +his eyes fell on the tall figure of the duke's heir; and the duke +himself,--that potentate, generally so mighty in his silence,--the +duke himself had spoken. Lady De Courcy and Lady Clandidlem were, +both of them, absolutely certain that the thing had been fully +arranged. I am, therefore, perfectly justified in stating that +the world was talking about the loves,--the illicit loves,--of Mr. +Palliser and Lady Dumbello. + +And the talking of the world found its way down to that respectable +country parsonage in which Lady Dumbello had been born, and from +which she had been taken away to those noble halls which she now +graced by her presence. The talking of the world was heard at +Plumstead Episcopi, where still lived Archdeacon Grantly, the lady's +father; and was heard also at the deanery of Barchester, where lived +the lady's aunt and grandfather. By whose ill-mannered tongue the +rumour was spread in these ecclesiastical regions it boots not now to +tell. But it may be remembered that Courcy Castle was not far from +Barchester, and that Lady De Courcy was not given to hide her lights +under a bushel. + +It was a terrible rumour. To what mother must not such a rumour +respecting her daughter be very terrible? In no mother's ears +could it have sounded more frightfully than it did in those of Mrs. +Grantly. Lady Dumbello, the daughter, might be altogether worldly; +but Mrs. Grantly had never been more than half worldly. In one moiety +of her character, her habits, and her desires, she had been wedded +to things good in themselves,--to religion, to charity, and to +honest-hearted uprightness. It is true that the circumstances of +her life had induced her to serve both God and Mammon, and that, +therefore, she had gloried greatly in the marriage of her daughter +with the heir of a marquis. She had revelled in the aristocratic +elevation of her child, though she continued to dispense books and +catechisms with her own hands to the children of the labourers of +Plumstead Episcopi. When Griselda first became Lady Dumbello the +mother feared somewhat lest her child should find herself unequal to +the exigencies of her new position. But the child had proved herself +more than equal to them, and had mounted up to a dizzy height of +success, which brought to the mother great glory and great fear also. +She delighted to think that her Griselda was great even among the +daughters of marquises; but she trembled as she reflected how deadly +would be the fall from such a height--should there ever be a fall! + +But she had never dreamed of such a fall as this! She would have +said,--indeed, she often had said,--to the archdeacon that Griselda's +religious principles were too firmly fixed to be moved by outward +worldly matters; signifying, it may be, her conviction that that +teaching of Plumstead Episcopi had so fastened her daughter into a +groove, that all the future teaching of Hartlebury would not suffice +to undo the fastenings. When she had thus boasted no such idea as +that of her daughter running from her husband's house had ever come +upon her; but she had alluded to vices of a nature kindred to that +vice,--to vices into which other aristocratic ladies sometimes fell, +who had been less firmly grooved; and her boastings had amounted to +this,--that she herself had so successfully served God and Mammon +together, that her child might go forth and enjoy all worldly things +without risk of damage to things heavenly. Then came upon her this +rumour. The archdeacon told her in a hoarse whisper that he had been +recommended to look to it, that it was current through the world that +Griselda was about to leave her husband. + +"Nothing on earth shall make me believe it," said Mrs. Grantly. But +she sat alone in her drawing-room afterwards and trembled. Then came +her sister, Mrs. Arabin, the dean's wife, over to the parsonage, and +in half-hidden words told the same story. She had heard it from Mrs. +Proudie, the bishop's wife. "That woman is as false as the father of +falsehoods," said Mrs. Grantly. But she trembled the more; and as +she prepared her parish work, could think of nothing but her child. +What would be all her life to come, what would have been all that +was past of her life, if this thing should happen to her? She would +not believe it; but yet she trembled the more as she thought of her +daughter's exaltation, and remembered that such things had been done +in that world to which Griselda now belonged. Ah! would it not have +been better for them if they had not raised their heads so high! And +she walked out alone among the tombs of the neighbouring churchyard, +and stood over the grave in which had been laid the body of her other +daughter. Could be it that the fate of that one had been the happier. + +Very few words were spoken on the subject between her and the +archdeacon, and yet it seemed agreed among them that something should +be done. He went up to London, and saw his daughter,--not daring, +however, to mention such a subject. Lord Dumbello was cross with him, +and very uncommunicative. Indeed both the archdeacon and Mrs. Grantly +had found that their daughter's house was not comfortable to them, +and as they were sufficiently proud among their own class they had +not cared to press themselves on the hospitality of their son-in-law. +But he had been able to perceive that all was not right in the house +in Carlton Gardens. Lord Dumbello was not gracious with his wife, and +there was something in the silence, rather than in the speech, of +men, which seemed to justify the report which had reached him. + +"He is there oftener than he should be," said the archdeacon. "And I +am sure of this, at least, that Dumbello does not like it." + +"I will write to her," said Mrs. Grantly at last. "I am still her +mother;--I will write to her. It may be that she does not know what +people say of her." + +And Mrs. Grantly did write. + + + Plumstead, April, 186--. + + DEAREST GRISELDA, + + It seems sometimes that you have been moved so far away + from me that I have hardly a right to concern myself more + in the affairs of your daily life, and I know that it + is impossible that you should refer to me for advice or + sympathy, as you would have done had you married some + gentleman of our own standing. But I am quite sure that + my child does not forget her mother, or fail to look back + upon her mother's love; and that she will allow me to + speak to her if she be in trouble, as I would to any other + child whom I had loved and cherished. I pray God that I + may be wrong in supposing that such trouble is near you. + If I am so you will forgive me my solicitude. + + Rumours have reached us from more than one quarter + that--Oh! Griselda, I hardly know in what words to conceal + and yet to declare that which I have to write. They say + that you are intimate with Mr. Palliser, the nephew of + the duke, and that your husband is much offended. Perhaps + I had better tell you all, openly, cautioning you not + to suppose that I have believed it. They say that it + is thought that you are going to put yourself under Mr. + Palliser's protection. My dearest child, I think you can + imagine with what an agony I write these words,--with what + terrible grief I must have been oppressed before I could + have allowed myself to entertain the thoughts which have + produced them. Such things are said openly in Barchester, + and your father, who has been in town and has seen you, + feels himself unable to tell me that my mind may be at + rest. + + I will not say to you a word as to the injury in a worldly + point of view which would come to you from any rupture + with your husband. I believe that you can see what would + be the effect of so terrible a step quite as plainly as I + can show it you. You would break the heart of your father, + and send your mother to her grave;--but it is not even + on that that I may most insist. It is this,--that you + would offend your God by the worst sin that a woman can + commit, and cast yourself into a depth of infamy in which + repentance before God is almost impossible, and from which + escape before man is not permitted. + + I do not believe it, my dearest, dearest child,--my only + living daughter; I do not believe what they have said to + me. But as a mother I have not dared to leave the slander + unnoticed. If you will write to me and say that it is not + so, you will make me happy again, even though you should + rebuke me for my suspicion. + + Believe that at all times, and under all circumstances, + I am still your loving mother, as I was in other days. + + SUSAN GRANTLY. + + +We will now go back to Mr. Palliser as he sat in his chambers at the +Albany, thinking of his love. The duke had cautioned him, and the +duke's agent had cautioned him; and he, in spite of his high feeling +of independence, had almost been made to tremble. All his thousands +a year were in the balance, and perhaps everything on which depended +his position before the world. But, nevertheless, though he did +tremble, he resolved to persevere. Statistics were becoming dry to +him, and love was very sweet. Statistics, he thought, might be made +as enchanting as ever, if only they could be mingled with love. The +mere idea of loving Lady Dumbello had seemed to give a salt to his +life of which he did not now know how to rob himself. It is true that +he had not as yet enjoyed many of the absolute blessings of love, +seeing that his conversations with Lady Dumbello had never been +warmer than those which have been repeated in these pages; but his +imagination had been at work; and now that Lady Dumbello was fully +established at her house in Carlton Gardens, he was determined to +declare his passion on the first convenient opportunity. It was +sufficiently manifest to him that the world expected him to do so, +and that the world was already a little disposed to find fault with +the slowness of his proceedings. + +He had been once at Carlton Gardens since the season had commenced, +and the lady had favoured him with her sweetest smile. But he had +only been half a minute alone with her, and during that half-minute +had only time to remark that he supposed she would now remain in +London for the season. + +"Oh, yes," she had answered, "we shall not leave till July." +Nor could he leave till July, because of the exigencies of his +statistics. He therefore had before him two, if not three, clear +months in which to manoeuvre, to declare his purposes, and prepare +for the future events of his life. As he resolved on a certain +morning that he would say his first tender word to Lady Dumbello that +very night, in the drawing-room of Lady De Courcy, where he knew that +he should meet her, a letter came to him by the post. He well knew +the hand and the intimation which it would contain. It was from the +duke's agent, Mr. Fothergill, and informed him that a certain sum of +money had been placed to his credit at his banker's. But the letter +went further, and informed him also that the duke had given his agent +to understand that special instructions would be necessary before the +next quarterly payment could be made. Mr. Fothergill said nothing +further, but Mr. Palliser understood it all. He felt his blood run +cold round his heart; but, nevertheless, he determined that he would +not break his word to Lady De Courcy that night. + +And Lady Dumbello received her letter also on the same morning. She +was being dressed as she read it, and the maidens who attended her +found no cause to suspect that anything in the letter had excited her +ladyship. Her ladyship was not often excited, though she was vigilant +in exacting from them their utmost cares. She read her letter, +however, very carefully, and as she sat beneath the toilet implements +of her maidens thought deeply of the tidings which had been brought +to her. She was angry with no one;--she was thankful to no one. She +felt no special love for any person concerned in the matter. Her +heart did not say, "Oh, my lord and husband!" or, "Oh, my lover!" or, +"Oh, my mother, the friend of my childhood!" But she became aware +that matter for thought had been brought before her, and she did +think. "Send my love to Lord Dumbello," she said, when the operations +were nearly completed, "and tell him that I shall be so glad to see +him if he will come to me while I am at breakfast." + +"Yes, my lady." And then the message came back: "His lordship would +be with her ladyship certainly." + +"Gustavus," she said, as soon as she had seated herself discreetly in +her chair, "I have had a letter from my mother, which you had better +read;" and she handed to him the document. "I do not know what I +have done to deserve such suspicions from her; but she lives in the +country, and has probably been deceived by ill-natured people. At any +rate you must read it, and tell me what I should do." + +We may predicate from this that Mr. Palliser's chance of being able +to shipwreck himself upon that rock was but small, and that he would, +in spite of himself, be saved from his uncle's anger. Lord Dumbello +took the letter and read it very slowly, standing, as he did so, with +his back to the fire. He read it very slowly, and his wife, though +she never turned her face directly upon his, could perceive that he +became very red, that he was fluttered and put beyond himself, and +that his answer was not ready. She was well aware that his conduct +to her during the last three months had been much altered from his +former usages; that he had been rougher with her in his speech when +alone, and less courteous in his attention when in society; but she +had made no complaint or spoken a word to show him that she had +marked the change. She had known, moreover, the cause of his altered +manner, and having considered much, had resolved that she would live +it down. She had declared to herself that she had done no deed and +spoken no word that justified suspicion, and therefore she would make +no change in her ways, or show herself to be conscious that she was +suspected. But now,--having her mother's letter in her hand,--she +could bring him to an explanation without making him aware that +she had ever thought that he had been jealous of her. To her, her +mother's letter was a great assistance. It justified a scene like +this, and enabled her to fight her battle after her own fashion. As +for eloping with any Mr. Palliser, and giving up the position which +she had won;--no, indeed! She had been fastened in her grooves +too well for that! Her mother, in entertaining any fear on such a +subject, had shown herself to be ignorant of the solidity of her +daughter's character. + +"Well, Gustavus," she said at last. "You must say what answer I shall +make, or whether I shall make any answer." But he was not even yet +ready to instruct her. So he unfolded the letter and read it again, +and she poured out for herself a cup of tea. + +"It's a very serious matter," said he. + +"Yes, it is serious; I could not but think such a letter from my +mother to be serious. Had it come from any one else I doubt whether +I should have troubled you; unless, indeed, it had been from any as +near to you as she is to me. As it is, you cannot but feel that I am +right." + +"Right! Oh, yes, you are right,--quite right to tell me; you should +tell me everything. D---- them!" But whom he meant to condemn he did +not explain. + +"I am above all things averse to cause you trouble," she said. "I +have seen some little things of late--" + +"Has he ever said anything to you?" + +"Who,--Mr. Palliser? Never a word." + +"He has hinted at nothing of this kind?" + +"Never a word. Had he done so, I must have made you understand that +he could not have been allowed again into my drawing-room." Then +again he read the letter, or pretended to do so. + +"Your mother means well," he said. + +"Oh, yes, she means well. She has been foolish to believe the +tittle-tattle that has reached her,--very foolish to oblige me to +give you this annoyance." + +"Oh, as for that, I'm not annoyed. By Jove, no. Come, Griselda, let +us have it all out; other people have said this, and I have been +unhappy. Now, you know it all." + +"Have I made you unhappy?" + +"Well, no; not you. Don't be hard upon me when I tell you the whole +truth. Fools and brutes have whispered things that have vexed me. +They may whisper till the devil fetches them, but they shan't annoy +me again. Give me a kiss, my girl." And he absolutely put out his +arms and embraced her. "Write a good-natured letter to your mother, +and ask her to come up for a week in May. That'll be the best thing; +and then she'll understand. By Jove, it's twelve o'clock. Good-by." + +Lady Dumbello was well aware that she had triumphed, and that her +mother's letter had been invaluable to her. But it had been used, and +therefore she did not read it again. She ate her breakfast in quiet +comfort, looking over a milliner's French circular as she did so; and +then, when the time for such an operation had fully come, she got to +her writing-table and answered her mother's letter. + + + DEAR MAMMA [she said], + + I thought it best to show your letter at once to Lord + Dumbello. He said that people would be ill-natured, and + seemed to think that the telling of such stories could + not be helped. As regards you, he was not a bit angry, + but said that you and papa had better come to us for a + week about the end of next month. Do come. We are to + have rather a large dinner-party on the 23rd. His Royal + Highness is coming, and I think papa would like to meet + him. Have you observed that those very high bonnets have + all gone out: I never liked them; and as I had got a hint + from Paris, I have been doing my best to put them down. I + do hope nothing will prevent your coming. + + Your affectionate daughter, + + G. DUMBELLO. + + Carlton Gardens, Wednesday. + + +Mrs. Grantly was aware, from the moment in which she received the +letter, that she had wronged her daughter by her suspicions. It did +not occur to her to disbelieve a word that was said in the letter, +or an inference that was implied. She had been wrong, and rejoiced +that it was so. But nevertheless there was that in the letter which +annoyed and irritated her, though she could not explain to herself +the cause of her annoyance. She had thrown all her heart into that +which she had written, but in the words which her child had written +not a vestige of heart was to be found. In that reconciling of God +and Mammon which Mrs. Grantly had carried on so successfully in the +education of her daughter, the organ had not been required, and had +become withered, if not defunct, through want of use. + +"We will not go there, I think," said Mrs. Grantly, speaking to her +husband. + +"Oh dear, no; certainly not. If you want to go to town at all, I will +take rooms for you. And as for his Royal Highness--! I have a great +respect for his Royal Highness, but I do not in the least desire to +meet him at Dumbello's table." + +And so that matter was settled, as regarded the inhabitants of +Plumstead Episcopi. + +And whither did Lord Dumbello betake himself when he left his wife's +room in so great a hurry at twelve o'clock? Not to the Park, nor to +Tattersall's, nor to a Committee-room of the House of Commons, nor +yet to the bow-window of his club. But he went straight to a great +jeweller's in Ludgate-hill, and there purchased a wonderful green +necklace, very rare and curious, heavy with green sparkling drops, +with three rows of shining green stones embedded in chaste gold,--a +necklace amounting almost to a jewelled cuirass in weight and +extent. It had been in all the exhibitions, and was very costly and +magnificent. While Lady Dumbello was still dressing in the evening +this was brought to her with her lord's love, as his token of renewed +confidence; and Lady Dumbello, as she counted the sparkles, triumphed +inwardly, telling herself that she had played her cards well. + +But while she counted the sparkles produced by her full +reconciliation with her lord, poor Plantagenet Palliser was still +trembling in his ignorance. If only he could have been allowed to see +Mrs. Grantly's letter, and the lady's answer, and the lord's present! +But no such seeing was vouchsafed to him, and he was carried off in +his brougham to Lady De Courcy's house, twittering with expectant +love, and trembling with expectant ruin. To this conclusion he had +come at any rate, that if anything was to be done, it should be +done now. He would speak a word of love, and prepare his future in +accordance with the acceptance it might receive. + +Lady De Courcy's rooms were very crowded when he arrived there. It +was the first great crushing party of the season, and all the world +had been collected into Portman Square. Lady De Courcy was smiling as +though her lord had no teeth, as though her eldest son's condition +was quite happy, and all things were going well with the De Courcy +interests. Lady Margaretta was there behind her, bland without +and bitter within; and Lady Rosina also, at some further distance, +reconciled to this world's vanity and finery because there was to +be no dancing. And the married daughters of the house were there +also, striving to maintain their positions on the strength of their +undoubted birth, but subjected to some snubbing by the lowness +of their absolute circumstances. Gazebee was there, happy in the +absolute fact of his connection with an earl, and blessed with the +consideration that was extended to him as an earl's son-in-law. And +Crosbie, also, was in the rooms,--was present there, though he had +sworn to himself that he would no longer dance attendance on the +countess, and that he would sever himself away from the wretchedness +of the family. But if he gave up them and their ways, what else would +then be left to him? He had come, therefore, and now stood alone, +sullen, in a corner, telling himself that all was vanity. Yes; to the +vain all will be vanity; and to the poor of heart all will be poor. + +Lady Dumbello was there in a small inner room, seated on a couch to +which she had been brought on her first arrival at the house, and +on which she would remain till she departed. From time to time some +very noble or very elevated personage would come before her and say +a word, and she would answer that elevated personage with another +word; but nobody had attempted with her the task of conversation. It +was understood that Lady Dumbello did not converse,--unless it were +occasionally with Mr. Palliser. + +She knew well that Mr. Palliser was to meet her there. He had told +her expressly that he should do so, having inquired, with much +solicitude, whether she intended to obey the invitation of the +countess. "I shall probably be there," she had said, and now had +determined that her mother's letter and her husband's conduct to her +should not cause her to break her word. Should Mr. Palliser "forget" +himself, she would know how to say a word to him as she had known how +to say a word to her husband. Forget himself! She was very sure that +Mr. Palliser had been making up his mind to forget himself for some +months past. + +He did come to her, and stood over her, looking unutterable things. +His unutterable things, however, were so looked, that they did not +absolutely demand notice from the lady. He did not sigh like a +furnace, nor open his eyes upon her as though there were two suns in +the firmament above her head, nor did he beat his breast or tear his +hair. Mr. Palliser had been brought up in a school which delights in +tranquillity, and never allows its pupils to commit themselves either +to the sublime or to the ridiculous. He did look an unutterable thing +or two; but he did it with so decorous an eye, that the lady, who was +measuring it all with great accuracy, could not, as yet, declare that +Mr. Palliser had "forgotten himself." + +There was room by her on the couch, and once or twice, at Hartlebury, +he had ventured so to seat himself. On the present occasion, however, +he could not do so without placing himself manifestly on her dress. +She would have known how to fill a larger couch even than that,--as +she would have known, also, how to make room,--had it been her mind +to do so. So he stood still over her, and she smiled at him. Such +a smile! It was cold as death, flattering no one, saying nothing, +hideous in its unmeaning, unreal grace. Ah! how I hate the smile +of a woman who smiles by rote! It made Mr. Palliser feel very +uncomfortable;--but he did not analyze it, and persevered. + +"Lady Dumbello," he said, and his voice was very low, "I have been +looking forward to meeting you here." + +"Have you, Mr. Palliser? Yes; I remember that you asked me whether +I was coming." + +"I did. Hm--Lady Dumbello!" and he almost trenched upon the outside +verge of that schooling which had taught him to avoid both the +sublime and the ridiculous. But he had not forgotten himself as yet, +and so she smiled again. + +"Lady Dumbello, in this world in which we live, it is so hard to get +a moment in which we can speak." He had thought that she would move +her dress, but she did not. + +"Oh, I don't know," she said; "one doesn't often want to say very +much, I think." + +"Ah, no; not often, perhaps. But when one does want! How I do +hate these crowded rooms!" Yet, when he had been at Hartlebury he +had resolved that the only ground for him would be the crowded +drawing-room of some large London house. "I wonder whether you ever +desire anything beyond them?" + +"Oh, yes," said she; "but I confess that I am fond of parties." + +Mr. Palliser looked round and thought that he saw that he was +unobserved. He had made up his mind as to what he would do, and he +was determined to do it. He had in him none of that readiness which +enables some men to make love and carry off their Dulcineas at a +moment's notice, but he had that pluck which would have made himself +disgraceful in his own eyes if he omitted to do that as to the doing +of which he had made a solemn resolution. He would have preferred to +do it sitting, but, faute de mieux, seeing that a seat was denied to +him, he would do it standing. + +"Griselda," he said,--and it must be admitted that his tone was not +bad. The word sank softly into her ear, like small rain upon moss, +and it sank into no other ear. "Griselda!" + +"Mr. Palliser!" said she;--and though she made no scene, though +she merely glanced upon him once, he could see that he was wrong. + +"May I not call you so?" + +"Certainly not. Shall I ask you to see if my people are there?" He +stood a moment before her hesitating. "My carriage, I mean." As she +gave the command she glanced at him again, and then he obeyed her +orders. + +When he returned she had left her seat; but he heard her name +announced on the stairs, and caught a glance of the back of her head +as she made her way gracefully down through the crowd. He never +attempted to make love to her again, utterly disappointing the hopes +of Lady De Courcy, Mrs. Proudie, and Lady Clandidlem. + +As I would wish those who are interested in Mr. Palliser's fortunes +to know the ultimate result of this adventure, and as we shall not +have space to return to his affairs in this little history, I may, +perhaps, be allowed to press somewhat forward, and tell what Fortune +did for him before the close of that London season. Everybody knows +that in that spring Lady Glencora MacCluskie was brought out before +the world, and it is equally well known that she, as the only child +of the late Lord of the Isles, was the great heiress of the day. It +is true that the hereditary possession of Skye, Staffa, Mull, Arran, +and Bute went, with the title, to the Marquis of Auldreekie, together +with the counties of Caithness and Ross-shire. But the property in +Fife, Aberdeen, Perth, and Kincardine-shire, comprising the greater +part of those counties, and the coal-mines in Lanark, as well as the +enormous estate within the city of Glasgow, were unentailed, and went +to the Lady Glencora. She was a fair girl, with bright blue eyes +and short wavy flaxen hair, very soft to the eye. The Lady Glencora +was small in stature, and her happy round face lacked, perhaps, the +highest grace of female beauty. But there was ever a smile upon it, +at which it was very pleasant to look; and the intense interest +with which she would dance, and talk, and follow up every amusement +that was offered her, was very charming. The horse she rode was the +dearest love--oh! she loved him so dearly! And she had a little +dog that was almost as dear as the horse. The friend of her youth, +Sabrina Scott, was--oh, such a girl! And her cousin, the little Lord +of the Isles, the heir of the marquis, was so gracious and beautiful +that she was always covering him with kisses. Unfortunately he was +only six, so that there was hardly a possibility that the properties +should be brought together. + +But Lady Glencora, though she was so charming, had even in this, her +first outset upon the world, given great uneasiness to her friends, +and caused the Marquis of Auldreekie to be almost wild with dismay. +There was a terribly handsome man about town, who had spent every +shilling that anybody would give him, who was very fond of brandy, +who was known, but not trusted, at Newmarket, who was said to be deep +in every vice, whose father would not speak to him;--and with him the +Lady Glencora was never tired of dancing. One morning she had told +her cousin the marquis, with a flashing eye,--for the round blue eye +could flash,--that Burgo Fitzgerald was more sinned against than +sinning. Ah me! what was a guardian marquis, anxious for the fate of +the family property, to do under such circumstances as that? + +But before the end of the season the marquis and the duke were +both happy men, and we will hope that the Lady Glencora also was +satisfied. Mr. Plantagenet Palliser had danced with her twice, and +had spoken his mind. He had an interview with the marquis, which was +pre-eminently satisfactory, and everything was settled. Glencora no +doubt told him how she had accepted that plain gold ring from Burgo +Fitzgerald, and how she had restored it; but I doubt whether she ever +told him of that wavy lock of golden hair which Burgo still keeps in +his receptacle for such treasures. + +"Plantagenet," said the duke, with quite unaccustomed warmth, "in +this, as in all things, you have shown yourself to be everything that +I could desire. I have told the marquis that Matching Priory, with +the whole estate, should be given over to you at once. It is the most +comfortable country-house I know. Glencora shall have The Horns as +her wedding present." + +But the genial, frank delight of Mr. Fothergill pleased Mr. Palliser +the most. The heir of the Pallisers had done his duty, and Mr. +Fothergill was unfeignedly a happy man. + + + + +CHAPTER LVI. + +SHOWING HOW MR. CROSBIE BECAME AGAIN A HAPPY MAN. + + +It has been told in the last chapter how Lady De Courcy gave a great +party in London in the latter days of April, and it may therefore be +thought that things were going well with the De Courcys; but I fear +the inference would be untrue. At any rate, things were not going +well with Lady Alexandrina, for she, on her mother's first arrival in +town, had rushed to Portman-square with a long tale of her +sufferings. + +"Oh, mamma! you would not believe it; but he hardly ever speaks to +me." + +"My dear, there are worse faults in a man than that." + +"I am alone there all the day. I never get out. He never offers to +get me a carriage. He asked me to walk with him once last week, when +it was raining. I saw that he waited till the rain began. Only think, +I have not been out three evenings this month,--except to Amelia's; +and now he says he won't go there any more, because a fly is so +expensive. You can't believe how uncomfortable the house is." + +"I thought you chose it, my dear." + +"I looked at it, but, of course, I didn't know what a house ought +to be. Amelia said it wasn't nice, but he would have it. He hates +Amelia. I'm sure of that, for he says everything he can to snub her +and Mr. Gazebee. Mr. Gazebee is as good as he, at any rate. What do +you think? He has given Richard warning to go. You never saw him, +but he was a very good servant. He has given him warning, and he is +not talking of getting another man. I won't live with him without +somebody to wait upon me." + +"My dearest girl, do not think of such a thing as leaving him." + +"But I will think of it, mamma. You do not know what my life is in +that house. He never speaks to me,--never. He comes home before +dinner at half-past six, and when he has just shown himself he goes +to his dressing-room. He is always silent at dinner-time, and after +dinner he goes to sleep. He breakfasts always at nine, and goes away +at half-past nine, though I know he does not get to his office till +eleven. If I want anything, he says that it cannot be afforded. I +never thought before that he was stingy, but I am sure now that he +must be a miser at heart." + +"It is better so than a spendthrift, Alexandrina." + +"I don't know that it is better. He could not make me more unhappy +than I am. Unhappy is no word for it. What can I do, shut up in such +a house as that by myself from nine o'clock in the morning till six +in the evening? Everybody knows what he is, so that nobody will come +to see me. I tell you fairly, mamma, I will not stand it. If you +cannot help me, I will look for help elsewhere." + +It may, at any rate, be said that things were not going well with +that branch of the De Courcy family. Nor, indeed, was it going well +with some other branches. Lord Porlock had married, not having +selected his partner for life from the choicest cream of the +aristocratic circles, and his mother, while endeavouring to say a +word in his favour, had been so abused by the earl that she had been +driven to declare that she could no longer endure such usage. She had +come up to London in direct opposition to his commands, while he was +fastened to his room by gout; and had given her party in defiance of +him, so that people should not say, when her back was turned, that +she had slunk away in despair. + +"I have borne it," she said to Margaretta, "longer than any other +woman in England would have done. While I thought that any of you +would marry--" + +"Oh, don't talk of that, mamma," said Margaretta, putting a little +scorn into her voice. She had not been quite pleased that even her +mother should intimate that all her chance was over, and yet she +herself had often told her mother that she had given up all thought +of marrying. + +"Rosina will go to Amelia's," the countess continued; "Mr. Gazebee is +quite satisfied that it should be so, and he will take care that she +shall have enough to cover her own expenses. I propose that you and +I, dear, shall go to Baden-Baden." + +"And about money, mamma?" + +"Mr. Gazebee must manage it. In spite of all that your father says, I +know that there must be money. The expense will be much less so than +in our present way." + +"And what will papa do himself?" + +"I cannot help it, my dear. No one knows what I have had to bear. +Another year of it would kill me. His language has become worse and +worse, and I fear every day that he is going to strike me with his +crutch." + +Under all these circumstances it cannot be said that the De Courcy +interests were prospering. + +But Lady De Courcy, when she had made up her mind to go to +Baden-Baden, had by no means intended to take her youngest daughter +with her. She had endured for years, and now Alexandrina was unable +to endure for six months. Her chief grievance, moreover, was +this,--that her husband was silent. The mother felt that no woman had +a right to complain much of any such sorrow as that. If her earl had +sinned only in that way, she would have been content to have remained +by him till the last! + +And yet I do not know whether Alexandrina's life was not quite as +hard as that of her mother. She barely exceeded the truth when +she said that he never spoke to her. The hours with her in her +new comfortless house were very long,--very long and very tedious. +Marriage with her had by no means been the thing that she had +expected. At home, with her mother, there had always been people +around her, but they had not always been such as she herself would +have chosen for her companions. She had thought that, when married, +she could choose and have those about her who were congenial to her; +but she found that none came to her. Her sister, who was a wiser +woman than she, had begun her married life with a definite idea, and +had carried it out; but this poor creature found herself, as it were, +stranded. When once she had conceived it in her heart to feel anger +against her husband,--and she had done so before they had been a week +together,--there was no love to bring her back to him again. She did +not know that it behoved her to look pleased when he entered the +room, and to make him at any rate think that his presence gave her +happiness. She became gloomy before she reached her new house, and +never laid her gloom aside. He would have made a struggle for some +domestic comfort, had any seemed to be within his reach. As it was, +he struggled for domestic propriety, believing that he might so best +bolster up his present lot in life. But the task became harder and +harder to him, and the gloom became denser and more dense. He did not +think of her unhappiness, but of his own; as she did not think of his +tedium, but of hers. "If this be domestic felicity!" he would say to +himself, as he sat in his arm-chair, striving to fix his attention +upon a book. + +"If this be the happiness of married life!" she thought, as she +remained listless, without even the pretence of a book, behind her +teacups. In truth she would not walk with him, not caring for such +exercise round the pavement of a London square; and he had resolutely +determined that she should not run into debt for carriage hire. He +was not a curmudgeon with his money; he was no miser. But he had +found that in marrying an earl's daughter he had made himself a poor +man, and he was resolved that he would not also be an embarrassed +man. + +When the bride heard that her mother and sister were about to escape +to Baden-Baden, there rushed upon her a sudden hope that she might +be able to accompany the flight. She would not be parted from her +husband, or at least not so parted that the world should suppose +that they had quarrelled. She would simply go away and make a long +visit,--a very long visit. Two years ago a sojourn with her mother +and Margaretta at Baden-Baden would not have offered to her much that +was attractive; but now, in her eyes, such a life seemed to be a life +in Paradise. In truth, the tedium of those hours in Princess Royal +Crescent had been very heavy. + +But how could she contrive that it should be so? That conversation +with her mother had taken place on the day preceding the party, and +Lady De Courcy had repeated it with dismay to Margaretta. + +"Of course he would allow her an income," Margaretta had coolly said. + +"But, my dear, they have been married only ten weeks." + +"I don't see why people are to be made absolutely wretched because +they are married," Margaretta answered. "I don't want to persuade her +to leave him, but if what she says is true, it must be very +uncomfortable." + +Crosbie had consented to go to the party in Portman-square, but had +not greatly enjoyed himself on that festive occasion. He had stood +about moodily, speaking hardly a word to any one. His whole aspect of +life seemed to have been altered during the last few months. It was +here, in such spots as this that he had been used to find his glory. +On such occasions he had shone with peculiar light, making envious +the hearts of many who watched the brilliance of his career as they +stood around in dull quiescence. But now no one in those rooms had +been more dull, more silent, or less courted than he; and yet he was +established there as the son-in-law of that noble house. "Rather slow +work; isn't it?" Gazebee had said to him, having, after many efforts, +succeeded in reaching his brother-in-law in a corner. In answer to +this Crosbie had only grunted. "As for myself," continued Gazebee, "I +would a deal sooner be at home with my paper and slippers. It seems +to me these sort of gatherings don't suit married men." Crosbie had +again grunted, and had then escaped into another corner. + +Crosbie and his wife went home together in a cab,--speechless both +of them. Alexandrina hated cabs,--but she had been plainly told that +in such vehicles, and in such vehicles only, could she be allowed +to travel. On the following morning he was at the breakfast-table +punctually by nine, but she did not make her appearance till after he +had gone to his office. Soon after that, however, she was away to her +mother and her sister; but she was seated grimly in her drawing-room +when he came in to see her, on his return to his house. Having said +some word which might be taken for a greeting, he was about to +retire; but she stopped him with a request that he would speak to +her. + +"Certainly," said he. "I was only going to dress. It is nearly the +half-hour." + +"I won't keep you very long, and if dinner is a few minutes late it +won't signify. Mamma and Margaretta are going to Baden-Baden." + +"To Baden-Baden, are they?" + +"Yes; and they intend to remain there--for a considerable time." +There was a little pause, and Alexandrina found it necessary to clear +her voice and to prepare herself for further speech by a little +cough. She was determined to make her proposition, but was rather +afraid of the manner in which it might be first received. + +"Has anything happened at Courcy Castle?" Crosbie asked. + +"No; that is, yes; there may have been some words between papa and +mamma; but I don't quite know. That, however, does not matter now. +Mamma is going, and purposes to remain there for the rest of the +year." + +"And the house in town will be given up." + +"I suppose so, but that will be as papa chooses. Have you any +objection to my going with mamma?" + +What a question to be asked by a bride of ten weeks' standing! She +had hardly been above a month with her husband in her new house, and +she was now asking permission to leave it, and to leave him also, for +an indefinite number of months--perhaps for ever. But she showed no +excitement as she made her request. There was neither sorrow, nor +regret, nor hope in her face. She had not put on half the animation +which she had once assumed in asking for the use, twice a week, +of a carriage done up to look as though it were her own private +possession. Crosbie had then answered her with great sternness, and +she had wept when his refusal was made certain to her. But there was +to be no weeping now. She meant to go,--with his permission if he +would accord it, and without it if he should refuse it. The question +of money was no doubt important, but Gazebee should manage that,--as +he managed all those things. + +"Going with them to Baden-Baden?" said Crosbie. "For how long?" + +"Well; it would be no use unless it were for some time." + +"For how long a time do you mean, Alexandrina? Speak out what you +really have to say. For a month?" + +"Oh, more than that." + +"For two months, or six, or as long as they may stay there?" + +"We could settle that afterwards, when I am there." During all this +time she did not once look into his face, though he was looking hard +at her throughout. + +"You mean," said he, "that you wish to go away from me." + +"In one sense it would be going away, certainly." + +"But in the ordinary sense? is it not so? When you talk of going to +Baden-Baden for an unlimited number of months, have you any idea of +coming back again?" + +"Back to London, you mean?" + +"Back to me,--to my house,--to your duties as a wife! Why cannot you +say at once what it is you want? You wish to be separated from me?" + +"I am not happy here,--in this house." + +"And who chose the house? Did I want to come here? But it is not +that. If you are not happy here, what could you have in any other +house to make you happy?" + +"If you were left alone in this room for seven or eight hours at a +time, without a soul to come to you, you would know what I mean. And +even after that, it is not much better. You never speak to me when +you are here." + +"Is it my fault that nobody comes to you? The fact is, Alexandrina, +that you will not reconcile yourself to the manner of life which +is suitable to my income. You are wretched because you cannot +have yourself driven round the Park. I cannot find you a carriage, +and will not attempt to do so. You may go to Baden-Baden, if you +please;--that is, if your mother is willing to take you." + +"Of course I must pay my own expenses," said Alexandrina. But to +this he made no answer on the moment. As soon as he had given his +permission he had risen from his seat and was going, and her last +words only caught him in the doorway. After all, would not this be +the cheapest arrangement that he could make? As he went through his +calculations he stood up with his elbow on the mantel-piece in his +dressing-room. He had scolded his wife because she had been unhappy +with him; but had he not been quite as unhappy with her? Would it +not be better that they should part in this quiet, half-unnoticed +way;--that they should part and never again come together? He was +lucky in this, that hitherto had come upon them no prospect of any +little Crosbie to mar the advantages of such an arrangement. If he +gave her four hundred a year, and allowed Gazebee two more towards +the paying off of encumbrances, he would still have six on which to +enjoy himself in London. Of course he could not live as he had lived +in those happy days before his marriage, nor, independently of the +cost, would such a mode of life be within his reach. But he might go +to his club for his dinners; he might smoke his cigar in luxury; he +would not be bound to that wooden home which, in spite of all his +resolutions, had become almost unendurable to him. So he made his +calculations, and found that it would be well that his bride should +go. He would give over his house and furniture to Gazebee, allowing +Gazebee to do as he would about that. To be once more a bachelor, in +lodgings, with six hundred a year to spend on himself, seemed to him +now such a prospect of happiness that he almost became light-hearted +as he dressed himself. He would let her go to Baden-Baden. + +There was nothing said about it at dinner, nor did he mention the +subject again till the servant had left the tea-things on the +drawing-room table. "You can go with your mother if you like it," he +then said. + +"I think it will be best," she answered. + +"Perhaps it will. At any rate you shall suit yourself." + +"And about money?" + +"You had better leave me to speak to Gazebee about that." + +"Very well. Will you have some tea?" And then the whole thing was +finished. + +On the next day she went after lunch to her mother's house, and never +came back again to Princess Royal Crescent. During that morning she +packed up those things which she cared to pack herself, and sent her +sisters there, with an old family servant, to bring away whatever +else might be supposed to belong to her. "Dear, dear," said Amelia, +"what trouble I had in getting these things together for them, and +only the other day. I can't but think she's wrong to go away." + +"I don't know," said Margaretta. "She has not been so lucky as you +have in the man she has married. I always felt that she would find it +difficult to manage him." + +"But, my dear, she has not tried. She has given up at once. It isn't +management that was wanting. The fact is that when Alexandrina began +she didn't make up her mind to the kind of thing she was coming to. +I did. I knew it wasn't to be all party-going and that sort of thing. +But I must own that Crosbie isn't the same sort of man as Mortimer. +I don't think I could have gone on with him. You might as well have +those small books put up; he won't care about them." And in this way +Crosbie's house was dismantled. + +She saw him no more, for he made no farewell visit to the house in +Portman Square. A note had been brought to him at his office: "I +am here with mamma, and may as well say good-by now. We start on +Tuesday. If you wish to write, you can send your letters to the +housekeeper here. I hope you will make yourself comfortable, and that +you will be well. Yours affectionately, A. C." He made no answer to +it, but went that day and dined at his club. + +"I haven't seen you this age," said Montgomerie Dobbs. + +"No. My wife is going abroad with her mother, and while she is away I +shall come back here again." + +There was nothing more said to him, and no one ever made any inquiry +about his domestic affairs. It seemed to him now as though he had no +friend sufficiently intimate with him to ask him after his wife or +family. She was gone, and in a month's time he found himself again in +Mount Street,--beginning the world with five hundred a year, not six. +For Mr. Gazebee, when the reckoning came, showed him that a larger +income at the present moment was not possible for him. The countess +had for a long time refused to let Lady Alexandrina go with her on so +small a pittance as four hundred and fifty;--and then were there not +the insurances to be maintained? + +But I think he would have consented to accept his liberty with three +hundred a year,--so great to him was the relief. + + + + +CHAPTER LVII. + +LILIAN DALE VANQUISHES HER MOTHER. + + +Mrs. Dale had been present during the interview in which John Eames +had made his prayer to her daughter, but she had said little or +nothing on that occasion. All her wishes had been in favour of the +suitor, but she had not dared to express them, neither had she dared +to leave the room. It had been hard upon him to be thus forced to +declare his love in the presence of a third person, but he had done +it, and had gone away with his answer. Then, when the thing was over, +Lily, without any communion with her mother, took herself off, and +was no more seen till the evening hours had come on, in which it was +natural that they should be together again. Mrs. Dale, when thus +alone, had been able to think of nothing but this new suit for her +daughter's hand. If only it might be accomplished! If any words from +her to Lily might be efficacious to such an end! And yet, hitherto, +she had been afraid almost to utter a word. + +She knew that it was very difficult. She declared to herself over +and over that he had come too soon,--that the attempt had been made +too quickly after that other shipwreck. How was it possible that the +ship should put to sea again at once, with all her timbers so rudely +strained? And yet, now that the attempt had been made, now that Eames +had uttered his request and been sent away with an answer, she felt +that she must at once speak to Lily on the subject, if ever she were +to speak upon it. She thought that she understood her child and all +her feelings. She recognized the violence of the shock which must be +encountered before Lily could be brought to acknowledge such a change +in her heart. But if the thing could be done, Lily would be a happy +woman. When once done it would be in all respects a blessing. And +if it were not done, might not Lily's life be blank, lonely, and +loveless to the end? Yet when Lily came down in the evening, with +some light, half-joking word on her lips, as was usual to her, Mrs. +Dale was still afraid to venture upon her task. + +"I suppose, mamma, we may consider it as a settled thing that +everything must be again unpacked, and that the lodging scheme will +be given up." + +"I don't know that, my dear." + +"Oh, but I do--after what you said just now. What geese everybody +will think us!" + +"I shouldn't care a bit for that, if we didn't think ourselves geese, +or if your uncle did not think us so." + +"I believe he would think we were swans. If I had ever thought he +would be so much in earnest about it, or that he would ever have +cared about our being here, I would never have voted for going. But +he is so strange. He is affectionate when he ought to be angry, and +ill-natured when he ought to be gentle and kind." + +"He has, at any rate, given us reason to feel sure of his affection." + +"For us girls, I never doubted it. But, mamma, I don't think I could +face Mrs. Boyce. Mrs. Hearn and Mrs. Crump would be very bad, and +Hopkins would come down upon us terribly when he found that we had +given way. But Mrs. Boyce would be worse than any of them. Can't you +fancy the tone of her congratulations?" + +"I think I should survive Mrs. Boyce." + +"Ah, yes; because we should have to go and tell her. I know your +cowardice of old, mamma; don't I? And Bell wouldn't care a bit, +because of her lover. Mrs. Boyce will be nothing to her. It is I that +must bear it all. Well, I don't mind; I'll vote for staying if you +will promise to be happy here. Oh, mamma, I'll vote for anything if +you will be happy." + +"And will you be happy?" + +"Yes, as happy as the day is long. Only I know we shall never see +Bell. People never do see each other when they live just at that +distance. It's too near for long visits, and too far for short +visits. I'll tell you what; we might make arrangements each to walk +half-way, and meet at the corner of Lord De Guest's wood. I wonder +whether they'd let us put up a seat there. I think we might have a +little house and carry sandwiches and a bottle of beer. Couldn't we +see something of each other in that way?" + +Thus it came to be the fixed idea of both of them that they would +abandon their plan of migrating to Guestwick, and on this subject +they continued to talk over their tea-table; but on that evening Mrs. +Dale ventured to say nothing about John Eames. + +But they did not even yet dare to commence the work of reconstructing +their old home. Bell must come back before they would do that, and +the express assent of the squire must be formally obtained. Mrs. Dale +must, in a degree, acknowledge herself to have been wrong, and ask to +be forgiven for her contumacy. + +"I suppose the three of us had better go up in sackcloth, and throw +ashes on our foreheads as we meet Hopkins in the garden," said Lily, +"and then I know he'll heap coals of fire on our heads by sending us +an early dish of peas. And Dingles would bring us in a pheasant, only +that pheasants don't grow in May." + +"If the sackcloth doesn't take an unpleasanter shape than that, I +shan't mind it." + +"That's because you've got no delicate feelings. And then uncle +Christopher's gratitude!" + +"Ah! I shall feel that." + +"But, mamma, we'll wait till Bell comes home. She shall decide. She +is going away, and therefore she'll be free from prejudice. If uncle +offers to paint the house,--and I know he will,--then I shall be +humbled to the dust." + +But yet Mrs. Dale had said nothing on the subject which was nearest +to her heart. When Lily in pleasantry had accused her of cowardice, +her mind had instantly gone off to that other matter, and she had +told herself that she was a coward. Why should she be afraid of +offering her counsel to her own child? It seemed to her as though she +had neglected some duty in allowing Crosbie's conduct to have passed +away without hardly a word of comment on it between herself and Lily. +Should she not have forced upon her daughter's conviction the fact +that Crosbie had been a villain, and as such should be discarded from +her heart? As it was, Lily had spoken the simple truth when she told +John Eames that she was dealing more openly with him on that affair +of her engagement than she had ever dealt, even with her mother. +Thinking of this as she sat in her own room that night, before she +allowed herself to rest, Mrs. Dale resolved that on the next morning +she would endeavour to make Lily see as she saw and think as she +thought. + +She let breakfast pass by before she began her task, and even then +she did not rush at it at once. Lily sat herself down to her work +when the teacups were taken away, and Mrs. Dale went down to her +kitchen as was her wont. It was nearly eleven before she seated +herself in the parlour, and even then she got her work-box before her +and took out her needle. + +"I wonder how Bell gets on with Lady Julia," said Lily. + +"Very well, I'm sure." + +"Lady Julia won't bite her, I know, and I suppose her dismay at the +tall footmen has passed off by this time." + +"I don't know that they have any tall footmen." + +"Short footmen then,--you know what I mean; all the noble belongings. +They must startle one at first, I'm sure, let one determine ever so +much not to be startled. It's a very mean thing, no doubt, to be +afraid of a lord merely because he is a lord; yet I'm sure I should +be afraid at first, even of Lord De Guest, if I were staying in the +house." + +"It's well you didn't go then." + +"Yes, I think it is. Bell is of a firmer mind, and I dare say she'll +get over it after the first day. But what on earth does she do there? +I wonder whether they mend their stockings in such a house as that." + +"Not in public, I should think." + +"In very grand houses they throw them away at once, I suppose. I've +often thought about it. Do you believe the Prime Minister ever has +his shoes sent to a cobbler?" + +"Perhaps a regular shoemaker will condescend to mend a Prime +Minister's shoes." + +"You do think they are mended then? But who orders it? Does he +see himself when there's a little hole coming, as I do? Does an +archbishop allow himself so many pairs of gloves in a year?" + +"Not very strictly, I should think." + +"Then I suppose it comes to this, that he has a new pair whenever +he wants them. But what constitutes the want? Does he ever say to +himself that they'll do for another Sunday? I remember the bishop +coming here once, and he had a hole at the end of his thumb. I was +going to be confirmed, and I remember thinking that he ought to have +been smarter." + +"Why didn't you offer to mend it?" + +"I shouldn't have dared for all the world." + +The conversation had commenced itself in a manner that did not +promise much assistance to Mrs. Dale's project. When Lily got upon +any subject, she was not easily induced to leave it, and when her +mind had twisted itself in one direction, it was difficult to untwist +it. She was now bent on a consideration of the smaller social habits +of the high and mighty among us, and was asking her mother whether +she supposed that the royal children ever carried halfpence in their +pockets, or descended so low as fourpenny-bits. + +"I suppose they have pockets like other children," said Lily. + +But her mother stopped her suddenly,-- + +"Lily, dear, I want to say something to you about John Eames." + +"Mamma, I'd sooner talk about the Royal Family just at present." + +"But, dear, you must forgive me if I persist. I have thought much +about it, and I'm sure you will not oppose me when I am doing what +I think to be my duty." + +"No, mamma; I won't oppose you, certainly." + +"Since Mr. Crosbie's conduct was made known to you, I have mentioned +his name in your hearing very seldom." + +"No, mamma, you have not. And I have loved you so dearly for your +goodness to me. Do not think that I have not understood and known how +generous you have been. No other mother ever was so good as you have +been. I have known it all, and thought of it every day of my life, +and thanked you in my heart for your trusting silence. Of course, I +understand your feelings. You think him bad and you hate him for what +he has done." + +"I would not willingly hate any one, Lily." + +"Ah, but you do hate him. If I were you, I should hate him; but I am +not you, and I love him. I pray for his happiness every night and +morning, and for hers. I have forgiven him altogether, and I think +that he was right. When I am old enough to do so without being wrong, +I will go to him and tell him so. I should like to hear of all his +doings and all his success, if it were only possible. How, then, can +you and I talk about him? It is impossible. You have been silent and +I have been silent,--let us remain silent." + +"It is not about Mr. Crosbie that I wish to speak. But I think you +ought to understand that conduct such as his will be rebuked by all +the world. You may forgive him, but you should acknowledge--" + +"Mamma, I don't want to acknowledge anything;--not about him. There +are things as to which a person cannot argue." Mrs. Dale felt +that this present matter was one as to which she could not argue. +"Of course, mamma," continued Lily, "I don't want to oppose you in +anything, but I think we had better be silent about this." + +"Of course I am thinking only of your future happiness." + +"I know you are; but pray believe me that you need not be alarmed. +I do not mean to be unhappy. Indeed, I think I may say I am not +unhappy; of course I have been unhappy,--very unhappy. I did think +that my heart would break. But that has passed away, and I believe I +can be as happy as my neighbours. We're all of us sure to have some +troubles, as you used to tell us when we were children." + +Mrs. Dale felt that she had begun wrong, and that she would have been +able to make better progress had she omitted all mention of Crosbie's +name. She knew exactly what it was that she wished to say,--what were +the arguments which she desired to expound before her daughter; but +she did not know what language to use, or how she might best put her +thoughts into words. She paused for a while, and Lily went on with +her work as though the conversation was over. But the conversation +was not over. + +"It was about John Eames, and not about Mr. Crosbie, that I wished to +speak to you." + +"Oh, mamma!" + +"My dear, you must not hinder me in doing what I think to be a duty. +I heard what he said to you and what you replied, and of course I +cannot but have my mind full of the subject. Why should you set +yourself against him in so fixed a manner?" + +"Because I love another man." These words she spoke out loud, in a +steady, almost dogged tone, with a certain show of audacity,--as +though aware that the declaration was unseemly, but resolved that, +though unseemly, it must be made. + +"But, Lily, that love, from its very nature, must cease; or, rather, +such love is not the same as that you felt when you thought that you +were to be his wife." + +"Yes, it is. If she died, and he came to me in five years' time, I +would still take him. I should think myself constrained to take him." + +"But she is not dead, nor likely to die." + +"That makes no difference. You don't understand me, mamma." + +"I think I do, and I want you to understand me also. I know how +difficult is your position; I know what your feelings are; but I know +this also, that if you could reason with yourself, and bring yourself +in time to receive John Eames as a dear friend--" + +"I did receive him as a dear friend. Why not? He is a dear friend. I +love him heartily,--as you do." + +"You know what I mean?" + +"Yes, I do; and I tell you it is impossible." + +"If you would make the attempt, all this misery would soon be +forgotten. If once you could bring yourself to regard him as +a friend, who might become your husband, all this would be +changed,--and I should see you happy!" + +"You are strangely anxious to be rid of me, mamma!" + +"Yes, Lily;--to be rid of you in that way. If I could see you put +your hand in his as his promised wife, I think that I should be the +happiest woman in the world." + +"Mamma, I cannot make you happy in that way. If you really understood +my feelings, my doing as you propose would make you very unhappy. I +should commit a great sin,--the sin against which women should be +more guarded than against any other. In my heart I am married to that +other man. I gave myself to him, and loved him, and rejoiced in his +love. When he kissed me I kissed him again, and I longed for his +kisses. I seemed to live only that he might caress me. All that time +I never felt myself to be wrong,--because he was all in all to me. I +was his own. That has been changed,--to my great misfortune; but it +cannot be undone or forgotten. I cannot be the girl I was before he +came here. There are things that will not have themselves buried and +put out of sight, as though they had never been. I am as you are, +mamma,--widowed. But you have your daughter, and I have my mother. If +you will be contented, so will I." Then she got up and threw herself +on her mother's neck. + +Mrs. Dale's argument was over now. To such an appeal as that last +made by Lily no rejoinder on her part was possible. After that she +was driven to acknowledge to herself that she must be silent. Years +as they rolled on might make a change, but no reasoning could be of +avail. She embraced her daughter, weeping over her,--whereas Lily's +eyes were dry. "It shall be as you will," Mrs. Dale murmured. + +"Yes, as I will. I shall have my own way; shall I not? That is all +I want; to be a tyrant over you, and make you do my bidding in +everything, as a well-behaved mother should do. But I won't be stern +in my orderings. If you will only be obedient, I will be so gracious +to you! There's Hopkins again. I wonder whether he has come to knock +us down and trample upon us with another speech." + +Hopkins knew very well to which window he must come, as only one +of the rooms was at the present time habitable. He came up to the +dining-room, and almost flattened his nose against the glass. + +"Well, Hopkins," said Lily, "here we are." Mrs. Dale had turned her +face away, for she knew that the tears were still on her cheek. + +"Yes, miss, I see you. I want to speak to your mamma, miss." + +"Come round," said Lily, anxious to spare her mother the necessity +of showing herself at once. "It's too cold to open the window; come +round, and I'll open the door." + +"Too cold!" muttered Hopkins, as he went. "They'll find it a deal +colder in lodgings at Guestwick." However, he went round through the +kitchen, and Lily met him in the hall. + +"Well, Hopkins, what is it? Mamma has got a headache." + +"Got a headache, has she? I won't make her headache no worse. It's +my opinion that there's nothing for a headache so good as fresh air. +Only some people can't abear to be blowed upon, not for a minute. If +you don't let down the lights in a greenhouse more or less every day, +you'll never get any plants,--never;--and it's just the same with the +grapes. Is I to go back and say as how I couldn't see her?" + +"You can come in if you like; only be quiet, you know." + +"Ain't I ollays quiet, miss? Did anybody ever hear me rampage? If you +please, ma'am, the squire's come home." + +"What, home from Guestwick? Has he brought Miss Bell?" + +"He ain't brought none but hisself, 'cause he come on horseback; and +it's my belief he's going back almost immediate. But he wants you to +come to him, Mrs. Dale." + +"Oh, yes, I'll come at once." + +"He bade me say with his kind love. I don't know whether that makes +any difference." + +"At any rate, I'll come, Hopkins." + +"And I ain't to say nothing about the headache?" + +"About what?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"No, no, no," said Lily. "Mamma will be there at once. Go and tell my +uncle, there's a good man," and she put up her hand and backed him +out of the room. + +"I don't believe she's got no headache at all," said Hopkins, +grumbling, as he returned through the back premises. "What lies +gentlefolks do tell! If I said I'd a headache when I ought to be out +among the things, what would they say to me? But a poor man mustn't +never lie, nor yet drink, nor yet do nothing." And so he went back +with his message. + +"What can have brought your uncle home?" said Mrs. Dale. + +"Just to look after the cattle, and to see that the pigs are not all +dead. My wonder is that he should ever have gone away." + +"I must go up to him at once." + +"Oh, yes, of course." + +"And what shall I say about the house?" + +"It's not about that,--at least I think not. I don't think he'll +speak about that again till you speak to him." + +"But if he does?" + +"You must put your trust in Providence. Declare you've got a bad +headache, as I told Hopkins just now; only you would throw me over by +not understanding. I'll walk with you down to the bridge." So they +went off together across the lawn. + +But Lily was soon left alone, and continued her walk, waiting for +her mother's return. As she went round and round the gravel paths, +she thought of the words that she had said to her mother. She had +declared that she also was widowed. "And so it should be," she +said, debating the matter with herself. "What can a heart be worth +if it can be transferred hither and thither as circumstances and +convenience and comfort may require? When he held me here in his +arms"--and, as the thoughts ran through her brain, she remembered the +very spot on which they had stood--"oh, my love!" she had said to him +then as she returned his kisses--"oh, my love, my love, my love!" +"When he held me here in his arms, I told myself that it was right, +because he was my husband. He has changed, but I have not. It might +be that I should have ceased to love him, and then I should have told +him so. I should have done as he did." But, as she came to this, she +shuddered, thinking of the Lady Alexandrina. "It was very quick," she +said, still speaking to herself; "very, very. But then men are not +the same as women." And she walked on eagerly, hardly remembering +where she was, thinking over it all, as she did daily; remembering +every little thought and word of those few eventful months in which +she had learned to regard Crosbie as her husband and master. She +had declared that she had conquered her unhappiness; but there were +moments in which she was almost wild with misery. "Tell me to forget +him!" she said. "It is the one thing which will never be forgotten." + +At last she heard her mother's step coming down across the squire's +garden, and she took up her post at the bridge. + +"Stand and deliver," she said, as her mother put her foot upon the +plank. "That is, if you've got anything worth delivering. Is anything +settled?" + +"Come up to the house," said Mrs. Dale, "and I'll tell you all." + + + + +CHAPTER LVIII. + +THE FATE OF THE SMALL HOUSE. + + +[ILLUSTRATION: (untitled)] + +There was something in the tone of Mrs. Dale's voice, as she desired +her daughter to come up to the house, and declared that her budget of +news should be opened there, which at once silenced Lily's assumed +pleasantry. Her mother had been away fully two hours, during which +Lily had still continued her walk round the garden, till at last she +had become impatient for her mother's footstep. Something serious +must have been said between her uncle and her mother during those +long two hours. The interviews to which Mrs. Dale was occasionally +summoned at the Great House did not usually exceed twenty minutes, +and the upshot would be communicated to the girls in a turn or two +round the garden; but in the present instance Mrs. Dale positively +declined to speak till she was seated within the house. + +"Did he come over on purpose to see you, mamma?" + +"Yes, my dear, I believe so. He wished to see you, too; but I asked +his permission to postpone that till after I had talked to you." + +"To see me, mamma? About what?" + +"To kiss you, and bid you love him; solely for that. He has not a +word to say to you that will vex you." + +"Then I will kiss him, and love him, too." + +"Yes, you will when I have told you all. I have promised him solemnly +to give up all idea of going to Guestwick. So that is over." + +"Oh, oh! And we may begin to unpack at once? What an episode in one's +life!" + +"We may certainly unpack, for I have pledged myself to him; and he is +to go into Guestwick himself and arrange about the lodgings." + +"Does Hopkins know it?" + +"I should think not yet." + +"Nor Mrs. Boyce! Mamma, I don't believe I shall be able to survive +this next week. We shall look such fools! I'll tell you what we'll +do;--it will be the only comfort I can have;--we'll go to work and +get everything back into its place before Bell comes home, so as to +surprise her." + +"What! in two days?" + +"Why not? I'll make Hopkins come and help, and then he'll not be so +bad. I'll begin at once and go to the blankets and beds, because I +can undo them myself." + +"But I haven't half told you all; and, indeed, I don't know how to +make you understand what passed between us. He is very unhappy about +Bernard; Bernard has determined to go abroad, and may be away for +years." + +"One can hardly blame a man for following up his profession." + +"There was no blaming. He only said that it was very sad for him +that, in his old age, he should be left alone. This was before there +was any talk about our remaining. Indeed he seemed determined not +to ask that again as a favour. I could see that in his eye, and I +understood it from his tone. He went on to speak of you and Bell, +saying how well he loved you both; but that, unfortunately, his hopes +regarding you had not been fulfilled." + +"Ah, but he shouldn't have had hopes of that sort." + +"Listen, my dear, and I think that you will not feel angry with +him. He said that he felt his house had never been pleasant to you. +Then there followed words which I could not repeat, even if I could +remember them. He said much about myself, regretting that the feeling +between us had not been more kindly. 'But my heart,' he said, 'has +ever been kinder than my words.' Then I got up from where I was +seated, and going over to him, I told him that we would remain here." + +"And what did he say?" + +"I don't know what he said. I know that I was crying, and that he +kissed me. It was the first time in his life. I know that he was +pleased,--beyond measure pleased. After a while he became animated, +and talked of doing ever so many things. He promised that very +painting of which you spoke." + +"Ah, yes, I knew it; and Hopkins will be here with the peas before +dinner-time to-morrow, and Dingles with his shoulders smothered with +rabbits. And then Mrs. Boyce! Mamma, he didn't think of Mrs. Boyce; +or, in very charity of heart, he would still have maintained his +sadness." + +"Then he did not think of her; for when I left him he was not at all +sad. But I haven't told you half yet." + +"Dear me, mamma; was there more than that?" + +"And I've told it all wrong; for what I've got to tell now was said +before a word was spoken about the house. He brought it in just after +what he said about Bernard. He said that Bernard would, of course, be +his heir." + +"Of course he will." + +"And that he should think it wrong to encumber the property with any +charges for you girls." + +"Mamma, did any one ever--" + +"Stop, Lily, stop; and make your heart kinder towards him if you +can." + +"It is kind; only I hate to be told that I'm not to have a lot of +money, as though I had ever shown a desire for it. I have never +envied Bernard his man-servant, or his maid-servant, or his ox, or +his ass, or anything that is his. To tell the truth I didn't even +wish it to be Bell's, because I knew well that there was somebody she +would like a great deal better than ever she could like Bernard." + +"I shall never get to the end of my story." + +"Yes, you will, mamma, if you persevere." + +"The long and the short of it is this, that he has given Bell three +thousand pounds, and has given you three thousand also." + +"But why me, mamma?" said Lily, and the colour of her cheeks became +red as she spoke. There should if possible be nothing more said about +John Eames; but whatever might or might not be the necessity of +speaking, at any rate, let there be no mistake. "But why me, mamma?" + +"Because, as he explained to me, he thinks it right to do the same +by each of you. The money is yours at this moment,--to buy hair-pins +with, if you please. I had no idea that he could command so large a +sum." + +"Three thousand pounds! The last money he gave me was half-a-crown, +and I thought that he was so stingy! I particularly wanted ten +shillings. I should have liked it so much better now if he had given +me a nice new five-pound note." + +"You'd better tell him so." + +"No; because then he'd give me that too. But with five pounds I +should have the feeling that I might do what I liked with it;--buy a +dressing-case, and a thing for a squirrel to run round in. But nobody +ever gives girls money like that, so that they can enjoy it." + +"Oh, Lily; you ungrateful child!" + +"No, I deny it. I'm not ungrateful. I'm very grateful, because his +heart was softened--and because he cried and kissed you. I'll be ever +so good to him! But how I'm to thank him for giving me three thousand +pounds, I cannot think. It's a sort of thing altogether beyond my +line of life. It sounds like something that's to come to me in +another world, but which I don't want quite yet. I am grateful, but +with a misty, mazy sort of gratitude. Can you tell me how soon I +shall have a new pair of Balmoral boots because of this money? If +that were brought home to me I think it would enliven my gratitude." + +The squire, as he rode back to Guestwick, fell again from that +animation, which Mrs. Dale had described, into his natural sombre +mood. He thought much of his past life, declaring to himself the +truth of those words in which he had told his sister-in-law that his +heart had ever been kinder than his words. But the world, and all +those nearest to him in the world, had judged him always by his words +rather than by his heart. They had taken the appearance, which he +could not command or alter, rather than the facts, of which he had +been the master. Had he not been good to all his relations?--and yet +was there one among them that cared for him? "I'm almost sorry that +they are going to stay," he said to himself;--"I know that I shall +disappoint them." Yet when he met Bell at the Manor House he accosted +her cheerily, telling her with much appearance of satisfaction that +that flitting into Guestwick was not to be accomplished. + +"I am so glad," said she. "It is long since I wished it." + +"And I do not think your mother wishes it now." + +"I am sure she does not. It was all a misunderstanding from the +first. When some of us could not do all that you wished, we thought +it better--" Then Bell paused, finding that she would get herself +into a mess if she persevered. + +"We will not say any more about it," said the squire. "The thing is +over, and I am very glad that it should be so pleasantly settled. I +was talking to Dr. Crofts yesterday." + +"Were you, uncle?" + +"Yes; and he is to come and stay with me the day before he is +married. We have arranged it all. And we'll have the breakfast up at +the Great House. Only you must fix the day. I should say some time in +May. And, my dear, you'll want to make yourself fine; here's a little +money for you. You are to spend that before your marriage, you know." +Then he shambled away, and as soon as he was alone, again became sad +and despondent. He was a man for whom we may predicate some gentle +sadness and continued despondency to the end of his life's chapter. + +We left John Eames in the custody of Lady Julia, who had overtaken +him in the act of erasing Lily's name from the railing which ran +across the brook. He had been premeditating an escape home to his +mother's house in Guestwick, and thence back to London, without +making any further appearance at the Manor House. But as soon as he +heard Lady Julia's step, and saw her figure close upon him, he knew +that his retreat was cut off from him. So he allowed himself to be +led away quietly up to the house. With Lady Julia herself he openly +discussed the whole matter,--telling her that his hopes were over, +his happiness gone, and his heart half-broken. Though he would +perhaps have cared but little for her congratulations in success, he +could make himself more amenable to consolation and sympathy from her +than from any other inmate in the earl's house. "I don't know what I +shall say to your brother," he whispered to her, as they approached +the side door at which she intended to enter. + +"Will you let me break it to him? After that he will say a few words +to you of course, but you need not be afraid of him." + +"And Mr. Dale?" said Johnny. "Everybody has heard about it. Everybody +will know what a fool I have made myself." She suggested that the +earl should speak to the squire, assured him that nobody would think +him at all foolish, and then left him to make his way up to his own +bedroom. When there he found a letter from Cradell, which had been +delivered in his absence; but the contents of that letter may best be +deferred to the next chapter. They were not of a nature to give him +comfort or to add to his sorrow. + +About an hour before dinner there was a knock at his door, and the +earl himself, when summoned, made his appearance in the room. He was +dressed in his usual farming attire, having been caught by Lady Julia +on his first approach to the house, and had come away direct to his +young friend, after having been duly trained in what he ought to say +by his kind-hearted sister. I am not, however, prepared to declare +that he strictly followed his sister's teaching in all that he said +upon the occasion. + +"Well, my boy," he began, "so the young lady has been perverse." + +"Yes, my lord. That is, I don't know about being perverse. It is all +over." + +"That's as may be, Johnny. As far as I know, not half of them accept +their lovers the first time of asking." + +"I shall not ask her again." + +"Oh, yes, you will. You don't mean to say you are angry with her for +refusing you." + +"Not in the least. I have no right to be angry. I am only angry with +myself for being such a fool, Lord De Guest. I wish I had been dead +before I came down here on this errand. Now I think of it, I know +there are so many things which ought to have made me sure how it +would be." + +"I don't see that at all. You come down again,--let me see,--it's May +now. Say you come when the shooting begins in September. If we can't +get you leave of absence in any other way, we'll make old Buffle come +too. Only, by George, I believe he'd shoot us all. But never mind; +we'll manage that. You keep up your spirits till September, and then +we'll fight the battle in another way. The squire shall get up a +little party for the bride, and my lady Lily must go then. You shall +meet her so; and then we'll shoot over the squire's land. We'll bring +you together so; you see if we don't. Lord bless me! Refused once! My +belief is, that in these days a girl thinks nothing of a man till she +has refused him half-a-dozen times." + +"I don't think Lily is at all like that." + +"Look here, Johnny. I have not a word to say against Miss Lily. I +like her very much, and think her one of the nicest girls I know. +When she's your wife, I'll love her dearly, if she'll let me. But +she's made of the same stuff as other girls, and will act in the same +way. Things have gone a little astray among you, and they won't right +themselves all in a minute. She knows now what your feelings are, and +she'll go on thinking of it, till at last you'll be in her thoughts +more than that other fellow. Don't tell me about her becoming an old +maid, because at her time of life she has been so unfortunate as to +come across a false-hearted man like that. It may take a little time; +but if you'll carry on and not be down-hearted, you'll find it will +all come right in the end. Everybody doesn't get all that they want +in a minute. How I shall quiz you about all this when you have been +two or three years married!" + +"I don't think I shall ever be able to ask her again; and I feel +sure, if I do, that her answer will be the same. She told me in so +many words--; but never mind, I cannot repeat her words." + +"I don't want you to repeat them; nor yet to heed them beyond their +worth. Lily Dale is a very pretty girl; clever, too, I believe, and +good, I'm sure; but her words are not more sacred than those of other +men or women. What she has said to you now, she means, no doubt; but +the minds of men and women are prone to change, especially when such +changes are conducive to their own happiness." + +"At any rate I'll never forget your kindness, Lord De Guest." + +"And there is one other thing I want to say to you, Johnny. A +man should never allow himself to be cast down by anything,--not +outwardly, to the eyes of other men." + +"But how is he to help it?" + +"His pluck should prevent him. You were not afraid of a roaring bull, +nor yet of that man when you thrashed him at the railway station. +You've pluck enough of that kind. You must now show that you've that +other kind of pluck. You know the story of the boy who would not cry +though the wolf was gnawing him underneath his frock. Most of us have +some wolf to gnaw us somewhere; but we are generally gnawed beneath +our clothes, so that the world doesn't see; and it behoves us so to +bear it that the world shall not suspect. The man who goes about +declaring himself to be miserable will be not only miserable, but +contemptible as well." + +"But the wolf hasn't gnawed me beneath my clothes; everybody knows +it." + +"Then let those who do know it learn that you are able to bear such +wounds without outward complaint. I tell you fairly that I cannot +sympathize with a lackadaisical lover." + +"I know that I have made myself ridiculous to everybody. I wish I had +never come here. I wish you had never seen me." + +"Don't say that, my dear boy; but take my advice for what it is +worth. And remember what it is that I say; with your grief I do +sympathize, but not with any outward expression of it;--not with +melancholy looks, and a sad voice, and an unhappy gait. A man should +always be able to drink his wine and seem to enjoy it. If he can't, +he is so much less of a man than he would be otherwise,--not so much +more, as some people seem to think. Now get yourself dressed, my dear +fellow, and come down to dinner as though nothing had happened to +you." + +As soon as the earl was gone John looked at his watch and saw that +it still wanted some forty minutes to dinner. Fifteen minutes would +suffice for him to dress, and therefore there was time sufficient +for him to seat himself in his arm-chair and think over it all. +He had for a moment been very angry when his friend had told him +that he could not sympathize with a lackadaisical lover. It was an +ill-natured word. He felt it to be so when he heard it, and so he +continued to think during the whole of the half-hour that he sat in +that chair. But it probably did him more good than any word that the +earl had ever spoken to him,--or any other word that he could have +used. "Lackadaisical! I'm not lackadaisical," he said to himself, +jumping up from his chair, and instantly sitting down again. "I +didn't say anything to him. I didn't tell him. Why did he come to +me?" And yet, though he endeavoured to abuse Lord De Guest in his +thoughts, he knew that Lord De Guest was right, and that he was +wrong. He knew that he had been lackadaisical, and was ashamed of +himself; and at once resolved that he would henceforth demean himself +as though no calamity had happened to him. "I've a good mind to take +him at his word, and drink wine till I'm drunk." Then he strove to +get up his courage by a song. + + If she be not fair for me, + What care I how-- + +"But I do care. What stuff it is a man writing poetry and putting +into it such lies as that! Everybody knows that he did care,--that +is, if he wasn't a heartless beast." + +But nevertheless, when the time came for him to go down into the +drawing-room he did make the effort which his friend had counselled, +and walked into the room with less of that hang-dog look than the +earl and Lady Julia had expected. They were both there, as was also +the squire, and Bell followed him in less than a minute. + +"You haven't seen Crofts to-day, John, have you?" said the earl. + +"No; I haven't been anywhere his way!" + +"His way! His ways are every way, I take it. I wanted him to come and +dine, but he seemed to think it improper to eat two dinners in the +same house two days running. Isn't that his theory, Miss Dale?" + +"I'm sure I don't know, Lord De Guest. At any rate, it isn't mine." + +So they went to their feast, and before his last chance was over John +Eames found himself able to go through the pretence of enjoying his +roast mutton. + +There can, I think, be no doubt that in all such calamities as +that which he was now suffering, the agony of the misfortune is +much increased by the conviction that the facts of the case are +known to those round about the sufferer. A most warm-hearted and +intensely-feeling young gentleman might, no doubt, eat an excellent +dinner after being refused by the girl of his devotions, provided +that he had reason to believe that none of those in whose company +he ate it knew anything of his rejection. But the same warm-hearted +and intensely-feeling young gentleman would find it very difficult +to go through the ceremony with any appearance of true appetite or +gastronomic enjoyment, if he were aware that all his convives knew +all the facts of his little misfortune. Generally, we may suppose, +a man in such condition goes to his club for his dinner, or seeks +consolation in the shades of some adjacent Richmond or Hampton Court. +There he meditates on his condition in silence, and does ultimately +enjoy his little plate of whitebait, his cutlet and his moderate +pint of sherry. He probably goes alone to the theatre, and, in his +stall, speculates with a somewhat bitter sarcasm on the vanity of +the world. Then he returns home, sad indeed, but with a moderated +sadness, and as he puffs out the smoke of his cigar at the open +window,--with perhaps the comfort of a little brandy-and-water at +his elbow,--swears to himself that, "By Jove, he'll have another +try for it." Alone, a man may console himself, or among a crowd of +unconscious mortals; but it must be admitted that the position of +John Eames was severe. He had been invited down there to woo Lily +Dale, and the squire and Bell had been asked to be present at the +wooing. Had it all gone well, nothing could have been nicer. He would +have been the hero of the hour, and everybody would have sung for him +his song of triumph. But everything had not gone well, and he found +it very difficult to carry himself otherwise than lackadaisically. On +the whole, however, his effort was such that the earl gave him credit +for his demeanour, and told him when parting with him for the night +that he was a fine fellow, and that everything should go right with +him yet. + +"And you mustn't be angry with me for speaking harshly to you," he +said. + +"I wasn't a bit angry." + +"Yes, you were; and I rather meant that you should be. But you +mustn't go away in dudgeon." + +He stayed at the Manor House one day longer, and then he returned to +his room at the Income-tax Office, to the disagreeable sound of Sir +Raffle's little bell, and the much more disagreeable sound of Sir +Raffle's big voice. + + + + +CHAPTER LIX. + +JOHN EAMES BECOMES A MAN. + + +Eames, when he was half way up to London in the railway carriage, +took out from his pocket a letter and read it. During the former +portion of his journey he had been thinking of other things; but +gradually he had resolved that it would be better for him not to +think more of those other things for the present, and therefore he +had recourse to his letter by way of dissipating his thoughts. It was +from Cradell, and ran as follows:-- + + + Income-Tax Office, May --, 186--. + + MY DEAR JOHN,--I hope the tidings which I have to give + you will not make you angry, and that you will not think + I am untrue to the great friendship which I have for you + because of that which I am now going to tell you. There + is no _man_--[and the word man was underscored]--there is + no _man_ whose regard I value so highly as I do yours; + and though I feel that you can have no just ground to be + displeased with me after all that I have heard you say on + many occasions, nevertheless, in matters of the heart it + is very hard for one person to understand the sentiments + of another, and when the affections of a lady are + concerned, I know that quarrels will sometimes arise. + + +Eames, when he had got so far as this, on the first perusal of the +letter, knew well what was to follow. "Poor Caudle!" he said to +himself; "he's hooked, and he'll never get himself off the hook +again." + + + But let that be as it may, the matter has now gone too + far for any alteration to be made by me; nor would any + mere earthly inducement suffice to change me. The claims + of friendship are very strong, _but those of love are + paramount_. Of course I know all that has passed between + you and Amelia Roper. Much of this I had heard from + you before, but the rest she has now told me with that + pure-minded honesty which is the most remarkable feature + in her character. She has confessed that at one time she + felt attached to you, and that she was induced by your + perseverance to allow you to regard her as your fiancy. + [Fancy-girl he probably conceived to be the vulgar English + for the elegant term which he used.] But all that must + be over between you now. _Amelia has promised to be + mine_--[this also was underscored]--and mine I intend that + she shall be. That you may find in the kind smiles of + L. D. consolation for any disappointment which this may + occasion you, is the ardent wish of your true friend, + + JOSEPH CRADELL. + + P.S.--Perhaps I had better tell you the whole. Mrs. Roper + has been in some trouble about her house. She is a little + in arrears with her rent, and some bills have not been + paid. As she explained that she has been brought into this + by those dreadful Lupexes I have consented to take the + house into my own hands, and have given bills to one or + two tradesmen for small amounts. Of course she will take + them up, but it was the credit that was wanting. She + will carry on the house, but I shall, in fact, be the + proprietor. I suppose it will not suit you now to remain + here, but don't you think I might make it comfortable + enough for some of our fellows; say half-a-dozen, or so? + That is Mrs. Roper's idea, and I certainly think it is not + a bad one. Our first efforts must be to get rid of the + Lupexes. Miss Spruce goes next week. In the meantime we + are all taking our meals up in our own rooms, so that + there is nothing for the Lupexes to eat. But they don't + seem to mind that, and still keep the sitting-room and + best bedroom. We mean to lock them out after Tuesday, and + send all their boxes to the public-house. + + +Poor Cradell! Eames, as he threw himself back upon his seat and +contemplated the depth of misfortune into which his friend had +fallen, began to be almost in love with his own position. He himself +was, no doubt, a very miserable fellow. There was only one thing +in life worth living for, and that he could not get. He had been +thinking for the last three days of throwing himself before a +locomotive steam-engine, and was not quite sure that he would not +do it yet; but, nevertheless, his place was a place among the gods +as compared to that which poor Cradell had selected for himself. +To be not only the husband of Amelia Roper, but to have been driven +to take upon himself as his bride's fortune the whole of his +future mother-in-law's debts! To find himself the owner of a very +indifferent lodging-house;--the owner as regarded all responsibility, +though not the owner as regarded any possible profit! And then, above +and almost worse than all the rest, to find himself saddled with the +Lupexes in the beginning of his career! Poor Cradell indeed! + +Eames had not taken his things away from the lodging-house before he +left London, and therefore determined to drive to Burton Crescent +immediately on his arrival, not with the intention of remaining +there, even for a night, but that he might bid them farewell, speak +his congratulations to Amelia, and arrange for his final settlement +with Mrs. Roper. It should have been explained in the last chapter +that the earl had told him before parting with him that his want of +success with Lily would make no difference as regarded money. John +had, of course, expostulated, saying that he did not want anything, +and would not, under his existing circumstances, accept anything; but +the earl was a man who knew how to have his own way, and in this +matter did have it. Our friend, therefore, was a man of wealth when +he returned to London, and could tell Mrs. Roper that he would send +her a cheque for her little balance as soon as he reached his office. + +He arrived in the middle of the day,--not timing his return at all +after the usual manner of Government clerks, who generally manage to +reach the metropolis not more than half an hour before the moment +at which they are bound to show themselves in their seats. But he +had come back two days before he was due, and had run away from the +country as though London in May to him were much pleasanter than the +woods and fields. But neither had London nor the woods and fields any +influence on his return. He had gone down that he might throw himself +at the feet of Lily Dale,--gone down, as he now confessed to himself, +with hopes almost triumphant, and he had returned because Lily Dale +would not have him at her feet. "I loved him,--him, Crosbie,--better +than all the world besides. It is still the same. I still love him +better than all the world." Those were the words which had driven him +back to London; and having been sent away with such words as those, +it was little matter to him whether he reached his office a day or +two sooner or later. The little room in the city, even with the +accompaniment of Sir Raffle's bell and Sir Raffle's voice, would be +now more congenial to him than Lady Julia's drawing-room. He would +therefore present himself to Sir Raffle on that very afternoon, and +expel some interloper from his seat. But he would first call in +Burton Crescent and say farewell to the Ropers. + +The door was opened for him by the faithful Jemima. "Mr. Heames, Mr. +Heames! ho dear, ho dear!" and the poor girl, who had always taken +his side in the adventures of the lodging-house, raised her hands on +high and lamented the fate which had separated her favourite from its +fortunes. "I suppose you knows it all, Mister Johnny?" Mister Johnny +said that he believed he did know it all, and asked for the mistress +of the house. "Yes, sure enough, she's at home. She don't dare stir +out much, 'cause of them Lupexes. Ain't this a pretty game? No dinner +and no nothink! Them boxes is Miss Spruce's. She's agoing now, this +minute. You'll find 'em all upstairs in the drawen-room." So upstairs +into the drawing-room he went, and there he found the mother and +daughter, and with them Miss Spruce, tightly packed up in her bonnet +and shawl. "Don't, mother," Amelia was saying; "what's the good of +going on in that way? If she chooses to go, let her go." + +"But she's been with me now so many years," said Mrs. Roper, sobbing; +"and I've always done everything for her! Haven't I, now, Sally +Spruce?" It struck Eames immediately that, though he had been an +inmate in the house for two years, he had never before heard that +maiden lady's Christian name. Miss Spruce was the first to see Eames +as he entered the room. It is probable that Mrs. Roper's pathos might +have produced some answering pathos on her part had she remained +unobserved, but the sight of a young man brought her back to her +usual state of quiescence. "I'm only an old woman," said she; "and +here's Mr. Eames come back again." + +"How d'ye do, Mrs. Roper? how d'ye do,--Amelia? how d'ye do, Miss +Spruce?" and he shook hands with them all. + +"Oh, laws," said Mrs. Roper, "you have given me such a start!" + +"Dear me, Mr. Eames; only think of your coming back in that way," +said Amelia. + +"Well, what way should I come back? You didn't hear me knock at the +door, that's all. So Miss Spruce is really going to leave you?" + +"Isn't it dreadful, Mr. Eames? Nineteen years we've been +together;--taking both houses together, Miss Spruce, we have, +indeed." Miss Spruce, at this point, struggled very hard to convince +John Eames that the period in question had in truth extended over +only eighteen years, but Mrs. Roper was authoritative, and would not +permit it. "It's nineteen years if it's a day. No one ought to know +dates if I don't, and there isn't one in the world understands her +ways unless it's me. Haven't I been up to your bedroom every night, +and with my own hand given you--" But she stopped herself, and was +too good a woman to declare before a young man what had been the +nature of her nightly ministrations to her guest. + +"I don't think you'll be so comfortable anywhere else, Miss Spruce," +said Eames. + +"Comfortable! of course she won't," said Amelia. "But if I was mother +I wouldn't have any more words about it." + +"It isn't the money I'm thinking of, but the feeling of it," said +Mrs. Roper. "The house will be so lonely like. I shan't know myself; +that I shan't. And now that things are all settled so pleasantly, and +that the Lupexes must go on Tuesday-- I'll tell you what, Sally; I'll +pay for the cab myself, and I'll start off to Dulwich by the omnibus +to-morrow, and settle it all out of my own pocket. I will indeed. +Come; there's the cab. Let me go down, and send him away." + +"I'll do that," said Eames. "It's only sixpence, off the stand," +Mrs. Roper called to him as he left the room. But the cabman got +a shilling, and John, as he returned, found Jemima in the act of +carrying Miss Spruce's boxes back to her room. "So much the better +for poor Caudle," said he to himself. "As he has gone into the trade +it's well that he should have somebody that will pay him." + +Mrs. Roper followed Miss Spruce up the stairs and Johnny was left +with Amelia. "He's written to you, I know," said she, with her face +turned a little away from him. She was certainly very handsome, but +there was a hard, cross, almost sullen look about her, which robbed +her countenance of all its pleasantness. And yet she had no intention +of being sullen with him. + +"Yes," said John. "He has told me how it's all going to be." + +"Well?" she said. + +"Well?" said he. + +"Is that all you've got to say?" + +"I'll congratulate you, if you'll let me." + +"Psha;--congratulations! I hate such humbug. If you've no feelings +about it, I'm sure that I've none. Indeed I don't know what's the +good of feelings. They never did me any good. Are you engaged to +marry L. D.?" + +"No, I am not." + +"And you've nothing else to say to me?" + +"Nothing,--except my hopes for your happiness. What else can I say? +You are engaged to marry my friend Cradell, and I think it will be a +happy match." + +She turned away her face further from him, and the look of it became +even more sullen. Could it be possible that at such a moment she +still had a hope that he might come back to her? + +"Good-by, Amelia," he said, putting out his hand to her. + +"And this is to be the last of you in this house!" + +"Well, I don't know about that. I'll come and call upon you, if +you'll let me, when you're married." + +"Yes," she said, "that there may be rows in the house, and noise, and +jealousy,--as there have been with that wicked woman upstairs. Not +if I know it, you won't! John Eames, I wish I'd never seen you. I +wish we might have both fallen dead when we first met. I didn't think +ever to have cared for a man as I have cared for you. It's all trash +and nonsense and foolery; I know that. It's all very well for young +ladies as can sit in drawing-rooms all their lives, but when a woman +has her way to make in the world it's all foolery. And such a hard +way too to make as mine is!" + +"But it won't be hard now." + +"Won't it? But I think it will. I wish you would try it. Not that I'm +going to complain. I never minded work, and as for company, I can put +up with anybody. The world's not to be all dancing and fiddling for +the likes of me. I know that well enough. But--" and then she paused. + +"What's the 'but' about, Amelia?" + +"It's like you to ask me; isn't it?" To tell the truth he should not +have asked her. "Never mind. I'm not going to have any words with +you. If you've been a knave I've been a fool, and that's worse." + +"But I don't think I have been a knave." + +"I've been both," said the girl; "and both for nothing. After that +you may go. I've told you what I am, and I'll leave you to name +yourself. I didn't think it was in me to have been such a fool. It's +that that frets me. Never mind, sir; it's all over now, and I wish +you good-by." + +I do not think that there was the slightest reason why John should +have again kissed her at parting, but he did so. She bore it, not +struggling with him; but she took his caress with sullen endurance. +"It'll be the last," she said. "Good-by, John Eames." + +"Good-by, Amelia. Try to make him a good wife and then you'll +be happy." She turned up her nose at this, assuming a look of +unutterable scorn. But she said nothing further, and then he left +the room. At the parlour door he met Mrs. Roper, and had his parting +words with her. + +"I am so glad you came," said she. "It was just that word you said +that made Miss Spruce stay. Her money is so ready, you know! And +so you've had it all out with her about Cradell. She'll make him a +good wife, she will indeed;--much better than you've been giving her +credit for." + +"I don't doubt she'll be a very good wife." + +"You see, Mr. Eames, it's all over now, and we understand each other; +don't we? It made me very unhappy when she was setting her cap at +you; it did indeed. She is my own daughter, and I couldn't go against +her;--could I? But I knew it wasn't in any way suiting. Laws, I know +the difference. She's good enough for him any day of the week, Mr. +Eames." + +"That she is,--Saturdays or Sundays," said Johnny, not knowing +exactly what he ought to say. + +"So she is; and if he does his duty by her she won't go astray in +hers by him. And as for you, Mr. Eames, I am sure I've always felt it +an honour and a pleasure to have you in the house; and if ever you +could use a good word in sending to me any of your young men, I'd do +by them as a mother should; I would indeed. I know I've been to blame +about those Lupexes, but haven't I suffered for it, Mr. Eames? And it +was difficult to know at first; wasn't it? And as to you and Amelia, +if you would send any of your young men to try, there couldn't be +anything more of that kind, could there? I know it hasn't all been +just as it should have been;--that is as regards you; but I should +like to hear you say that you've found me honest before you went. I +have tried to be honest, I have indeed." + +Eames assured her that he was convinced of her honesty, and that +he had never thought of impugning her character either in regard +to those unfortunate people, the Lupexes, or in reference to other +matters. "He did not think," he said, "that any young men would +consult him as to their lodgings; but if he could be of any service +to her, he would." Then he bade her good-by, and having bestowed +half-a-sovereign on the faithful Jemima, he took a long farewell of +Burton Crescent. Amelia had told him not to come and see her when she +should be married, and he had resolved that he would take her at her +word. So he walked off from the Crescent, not exactly shaking the +dust from his feet, but resolving that he would know no more either +of its dust or of its dirt. Dirt enough he had encountered there +certainly, and he was now old enough to feel that the inmates of Mrs. +Roper's house had not been those among whom a resting-place for his +early years should judiciously have been sought. But he had come out +of the fire comparatively unharmed, and I regret to say that he felt +but little for the terrible scorchings to which his friend had been +subjected and was about to subject himself. He was quite content to +look at the matter exactly as it was looked at by Mrs. Roper. Amelia +was good enough for Joseph Cradell--any day of the week. Poor +Cradell, of whom in these pages after this notice no more will be +heard! I cannot but think that a hard measure of justice was meted +out to him, in proportion to the extent of his sins. More weak and +foolish than our friend and hero he had been, but not to my knowledge +more wicked. But it is to the vain and foolish that the punishments +fall;--and to them they fall so thickly and constantly that the +thinker is driven to think that vanity and folly are of all sins +those which may be the least forgiven. As for Cradell I may declare +that he did marry Amelia, that he did, with some pride, take the +place of master of the house at the bottom of Mrs. Roper's table, and +that he did make himself responsible for all Mrs. Roper's debts. Of +his future fortunes there is not space to speak in these pages. + +Going away from the Crescent Eames had himself driven to his office, +which he reached just as the men were leaving it, at four o'clock. +Cradell was gone, so that he did not see him on that afternoon; but +he had an opportunity of shaking hands with Mr. Love, who treated +him with all the smiling courtesy due to an official bigwig,--for +a private secretary, if not absolutely a big-wig, is semi-big, and +entitled to a certain amount of reverence;--and he passed Mr. Kissing +in the passage, hurrying along as usual with a huge book under +his arm. Mr. Kissing, hurried as he was, stopped his shuffling +feet; but Eames only looked at him, hardly honouring him with the +acknowledgment of a nod of his head. Mr. Kissing, however, was +not offended; he knew that the private secretary of the First +Commissioner had been the guest of an earl; and what more than a nod +could be expected from him? After that John made his way into the +august presence of Sir Raffle, and found that great man putting on +his shoes in the presence of FitzHoward. FitzHoward blushed; but the +shoes had not been touched by him, as he took occasion afterwards to +inform John Eames. + +Sir Raffle was all smiles and civility. "Delighted to see you +back, Eames: am, upon my word; though I and FitzHoward have got on +capitally in your absence; haven't we, FitzHoward?" + +"Oh, yes," drawled FitzHoward. "I haven't minded it for a time, just +while Eames has been away." + +"You're much too idle to keep at it, I know; but your bread will be +buttered for you elsewhere, so it doesn't signify. My compliments to +the duchess when you see her." Then FitzHoward went. "And how's my +dear old friend?" asked Sir Raffle, as though of all men living Lord +De Guest were the one for whom he had the strongest and the oldest +love. And yet he must have known that John Eames knew as much about +it as he did himself. But there are men who have the most lively +gratification in calling lords and marquises their friends, though +they know that nobody believes a word of what they say,--even though +they know how great is the odium they incur, and how lasting is the +ridicule which their vanity produces. It is a gentle insanity which +prevails in the outer courts of every aristocracy; and as it brings +with itself considerable annoyance and but a lukewarm pleasure, it +should not be treated with too keen a severity. + +"And how's my dear old friend?" Eames assured him that his dear old +friend was all right, that Lady Julia was all right, that the dear +old place was all right. Sir Raffle now spoke as though the "dear +old place" were quite well known to him. "Was the game doing pretty +well? Was there a promise of birds?" Sir Raffle's anxiety was +quite intense, and expressed with almost familiar affection. "And, +by-the-by, Eames, where are you living at present?" + +"Well, I'm not settled. I'm at the Great Western Railway Hotel at +this moment." + +"Capital house, very; only it's expensive if you stay there the whole +season." Johnny had no idea of remaining there beyond one night, but +he said nothing as to this. "By-the-by, you might as well come and +dine with us to-morrow. Lady Buffle is most anxious to know you. +There'll be one or two with us. I did ask my friend Dumbello, but +there's some nonsense going on in the House, and he thinks that he +can't get away." Johnny was more gracious than Lord Dumbello, and +accepted the invitation. "I wonder what Lady Buffle will be like?" he +said to himself, as he walked away from the office. + +He had turned into the Great Western Hotel, not as yet knowing where +to look for a home; and there we will leave him, eating his solitary +mutton-chop at one of those tables which are so comfortable to the +eye, but which are so comfortless in reality. I speak not now with +reference to the excellent establishment which has been named, but +to the nature of such tables in general. A solitary mutton-chop in +an hotel coffee-room is not a banquet to be envied by any god; and +if the mutton-chop be converted into soup, fish, little dishes, +big dishes, and the rest, the matter becomes worse and not better. +What comfort are you to have, seated alone on that horsehair chair, +staring into the room and watching the waiters as they whisk about +their towels? No one but an Englishman has ever yet thought of +subjecting himself to such a position as that! But here we will leave +John Eames, and in doing so I must be allowed to declare that only +now, at this moment, has he entered on his manhood. Hitherto he +has been a hobbledehoy,--a calf, as it were, who had carried his +calfishness later into life than is common with calves; but who did +not, perhaps, on that account, give promise of making a worse ox than +the rest of them. His life hitherto, as recorded in these pages, had +afforded him no brilliant success, had hardly qualified him for the +role of hero which he has been made to play. I feel that I have been +in fault in giving such prominence to a hobbledehoy, and that I +should have told my story better had I brought Mr. Crosbie more +conspicuously forward on my canvas. He at any rate has gotten to +himself a wife--as a hero always should do; whereas I must leave my +poor friend Johnny without any matrimonial prospects. + +It was thus that he thought of himself as he sat moping over his +solitary table in the hotel coffee-room. He acknowledged to himself +that he had not hitherto been a man; but at the same time he made +some resolution which, I trust, may assist him in commencing his +manhood from this date. + + + + +CHAPTER LX. + +CONCLUSION. + + +It was early in June that Lily went up to her uncle at the Great +House, pleading for Hopkins,--pleading that to Hopkins might be +restored all the privileges of head gardener at the Great House. +There was some absurdity in this, seeing that he had never really +relinquished his privileges; but the manner of the quarrel had been +in this wise. + +There was in those days, and had been for years, a vexed question +between Hopkins and Jolliffe the bailiff on the matter of--stable +manure. Hopkins had pretended to the right of taking what he required +from the farmyard, without asking leave of any one. Jolliffe in +return had hinted, that if this were so, Hopkins would take it all. +"But I can't eat it," Hopkins had said. Jolliffe merely grunted, +signifying by the grunt, as Hopkins thought, that though a gardener +couldn't eat a mountain of manure fifty feet long and fifteen +high--couldn't eat in the body,--he might convert it into things +edible for his own personal use. And so there had been a great feud. +The unfortunate squire had of course been called on to arbitrate, and +having postponed his decision by every contrivance possible to him, +had at last been driven by Jolliffe to declare that Hopkins should +take nothing that was not assigned to him. Hopkins, when the decision +was made known to him by his master, bit his old lips, and turned +round upon his old heel, speechless. "You'll find it's so at all +other places," said the squire, apologetically. "Other places!" +sneered Hopkins. Where would he find other gardeners like himself? +It is hardly necessary to declare that from that moment he resolved +that he would abide by no such order. Jolliffe on the next morning +informed the squire that the order had been broken, and the squire +fretted and fumed, wishing that Jolliffe were well buried under the +mountain in question. "If they all is to do as they like," said +Jolliffe, "then nobody won't care for nobody." The squire understood +that an order if given must be obeyed, and therefore, with many inner +groanings of the spirit, resolved that war must be waged against +Hopkins. + +On the following morning he found the old man himself wheeling a huge +barrow of manure round from the yard into the kitchen-garden. Now, on +ordinary occasions, Hopkins was not required to do with his own hands +work of that description. He had a man under him who hewed wood, and +carried water, and wheeled barrows,--one man always, and often two. +The squire knew when he saw him that he was sinning, and bade him +stop upon his road. + +"Hopkins," he said, "why didn't you ask for what you wanted, before +you took it?" The old man put down the barrow on the ground, looked +up in his master's face, spat into his hands, and then again resumed +his barrow. "Hopkins, that won't do," said the squire. "Stop where +you are." + +"What won't do?" said Hopkins, still holding the barrow from the +ground, but not as yet progressing. + +"Put it down, Hopkins," and Hopkins did put it down. "Don't you know +that you are flatly disobeying my orders?" + +"Squire, I've been here about this place going on nigh seventy +years." + +"If you've been going on a hundred and seventy it wouldn't do that +there should be more than one master. I'm the master here, and I +intend to be so to the end. Take that manure back into the yard." + +"Back into the yard?" said Hopkins, very slowly. + +"Yes; back into the yard." + +"What,--afore all their faces?" + +"Yes; you've disobeyed me before all their faces?" + +Hopkins paused a moment, looking away from the squire, and shaking +his head as though he had need of deep thought, but by the aid of +deep thought had come at last to a right conclusion. Then he resumed +the barrow, and putting himself almost into a trot, carried away his +prize into the kitchen-garden. At the pace which he went it would +have been beyond the squire's power to stop him, nor would Mr. Dale +have wished to come to a personal encounter with his servant. But he +called after the man in dire wrath that if he were not obeyed the +disobedient servant should rue the consequences for ever. Hopkins, +equal to the occasion, shook his head as he trotted on, deposited his +load at the foot of the cucumber-frames, and then at once returning +to his master, tendered to him the key of the greenhouse. + +"Master," said Hopkins, speaking as best he could with his scanty +breath, "there it is;--there's the key; of course I don't want no +warning, and doesn't care about my week's wages. I'll be out of the +cottage afore night, and as for the work'us, I suppose they'll let me +in at once, if your honour'll give 'em a line." + +Now as Hopkins was well known by the squire to be the owner of three +or four hundred pounds, the hint about the workhouse must be allowed +to have been melodramatic. + +"Don't be a fool," said the squire, almost gnashing his teeth. + +"I know I've been a fool," said Hopkins, "about that 'ere doong; my +feelings has been too much for me. When a man's feelings has been +too much for him, he'd better just take hisself off, and lie in the +work'us till he dies." And then he again tendered the key. But the +squire did not take the key, and so Hopkins went on. "I s'pose I'd +better just see to the lights and the like of that, till you've +suited yourself, Mr. Dale. It 'ud be a pity all them grapes should go +off, and they, as you may say, all one as fit for the table. It's a +long way the best crop I ever see on 'em. I've been that careful with +'em that I haven't had a natural night's rest, not since February. +There ain't nobody about this place as understands grapes, nor yet +anywhere nigh that could be got at. My lord's head man is wery +ignorant; but even if he knew ever so, of course he couldn't come +here. I suppose I'd better keep the key till you're suited, Mr. +Dale." + +Then for a fortnight there was an interregnum in the gardens, +terrible in the annals of Allington. Hopkins lived in his cottage +indeed, and looked most sedulously after the grapes. In looking after +the grapes, too, he took the greenhouses under his care; but he +would have nothing to do with the outer gardens, took no wages, +returning the amount sent to him back to the squire, and insisted +with everybody that he had been dismissed. He went about with some +terrible horticultural implement always in his hand, with which it +was said that he intended to attack Jolliffe; but Jolliffe prudently +kept out of his way. + +As soon as it had been resolved by Mrs. Dale and Lily that +the flitting from the Small House at Allington was not to be +accomplished, Lily communicated the fact to Hopkins. + +"Miss," said he, "when I said them few words to you and your mamma, +I knew that you would listen to reason." + +This was no more than Lily had expected; that Hopkins should claim +the honour of having prevailed by his arguments was a matter of +course. + +"Yes," said Lily; "we've made up our minds to stay. Uncle wishes it." + +"Wishes it! Laws, miss; it ain't only wishes. And we all wishes it. +Why, now, look at the reason of the thing. Here's this here house--" + +"But, Hopkins, it's decided. We're going to stay. What I want to know +is this; can you come at once and help me to unpack?" + +"What! this very evening, as is--" + +"Yes, now; we want to have the things about again before they come +back from Guestwick." + +Hopkins scratched his head and hesitated, not wishing to yield to any +proposition that could be considered as childish; but he gave way at +last, feeling that the work itself was a good work. Mrs. Dale also +assented, laughing at Lily for her folly as she did so, and in this +way the things were unpacked very quickly, and the alliance between +Lily and Hopkins became, for the time, very close. This work of +unpacking and resettling was not yet over, when the battle of the +manure broke out, and therefore it was that Hopkins, when his +feelings had become altogether too much for him "about the doong," +came at last to Lily, and laying down at her feet all the weight +and all the glory of his sixty odd years of life, implored her to +make matters straight for him. "It's been a killing me, miss, so +it has; to see the way they've been a cutting that 'sparagus. It +ain't cutting at all. It's just hocking it up;--what is fit, and +what isn't, all together. And they've been a-putting the plants in +where I didn't mean 'em, though they know'd I didn't mean 'em. I've +stood by, miss, and said never a word. I'd a died sooner. But, Miss +Lily, what my sufferings have been, 'cause of my feelings getting +the better of me about that--you know, miss--nobody will ever +tell;--nobody--nobody--nobody." Then Hopkins turned away and wept. + +"Uncle," said Lily, creeping close up against his chair, "I want to +ask you a great favour." + +"A great favour. Well, I don't think I shall refuse you anything at +present. It isn't to ask another earl to the house,--is it?" + +"Another earl!" said Lily. + +"Yes; haven't you heard? Miss Bell has been here this morning, +insisting that I should have over Lord De Guest and his sister for +the marriage. It seems that there was some scheming between Bell and +Lady Julia." + +"Of course you'll ask them." + +"Of course I must. I've no way out of it. It'll be all very well for +Bell, who'll be off to Wales with her lover; but what am I to do with +the earl and Lady Julia, when they're gone? Will you come and help +me?" + +In answer to this, Lily of course promised that she would come and +help. "Indeed," said she, "I thought we were all asked up for the +day. And now for my favour. Uncle, you must forgive poor Hopkins." + +"Forgive a fiddlestick!" said the squire. + +"No, but you must. You can't think how unhappy he is." + +"How can I forgive a man who won't forgive me. He goes prowling about +the place doing nothing; and he sends me back his wages, and he +looks as though he were going to murder some one; and all because he +wouldn't do as he was told. How am I to forgive such a man as that?" + +"But, uncle, why not?" + +"It would be his forgiving me. He knows very well that he may come +back whenever he pleases; and, indeed, for the matter of that he has +never gone away." + +"But he is so very unhappy." + +"What can I do to make him happier?" + +"Just go down to his cottage and tell him that you forgive him." + +"Then he'll argue with me." + +"No; I don't think he will. He is too much down in the world for +arguing now." + +"Ah! you don't know him as I do. All the misfortunes in the world +wouldn't stop that man's conceit. Of course I'll go if you ask me, +but it seems to me that I'm made to knock under to everybody. I hear +a great deal about other people's feelings, but I don't know that +mine are very much thought of." He was not altogether in a happy +mood, and Lily almost regretted that she had persevered; but she did +succeed in carrying him off across the garden to the cottage, and +as they went together she promised him that she would think of him +always,--always. The scene with Hopkins cannot be described now, as +it would take too many of our few remaining pages. It resulted, I am +afraid I must confess, in nothing more triumphant to the squire than +a treaty of mutual forgiveness. Hopkins acknowledged, with much +self-reproach, that his feelings had been too many for him; but then, +look at his provocation! He could not keep his tongue from that +matter, and certainly said as much in his own defence as he did in +confession of his sins. The substantial triumph was altogether his, +for nobody again ever dared to interfere with his operations in the +farmyard. He showed his submission to his master mainly by consenting +to receive his wages for the two weeks which he had passed in +idleness. + +Owing to this little accident, Lily was not so much oppressed by +Hopkins as she had expected to be in that matter of their altered +plans; but this salvation did not extend to Mrs. Hearn, to Mrs. +Crump, or, above all, to Mrs. Boyce. They, all of them, took an +interest more or less strong in the Hopkins controversy; but their +interest in the occupation of the Small House was much stronger, +and it was found useless to put Mrs. Hearn off with the gardener's +persistent refusal of his wages, when she was big with inquiry +whether the house was to be painted inside, as well as out. "Ah," +said she, "I think I'll go and look at lodgings at Guestwick myself, +and pack up some of my beds." Lily made no answer to this, feeling +that it was a part of that punishment which she had expected. "Dear, +dear," said Mrs. Crump to the two girls; "well, to be sure, we should +'a been 'lone without 'ee, and mayhap we might 'a got worse in your +place; but why did 'ee go and fasten up all your things in them big +boxes, just to unfasten 'em all again?" + +"We changed our minds, Mrs. Crump," said Bell, with some severity. + +"Yees, I know ye changed your mindses. Well, it's all right for loiks +o' ye, no doubt; but if we changes our mindses, we hears of it." + +"So, it seems, do we!" said Lily. "But never mind, Mrs. Crump. Do you +send us our letters up early, and then we won't quarrel." + +"Oh, letters! Drat them for letters. I wish there weren't no sich +things. There was a man here yesterday with his imperence. I don't +know where he come from,--down from Lun'on, I b'leeve: and this was +wrong, and that was wrong, and everything was wrong; and then he said +he'd have me discharged the sarvice." + +"Dear me, Mrs. Crump; that wouldn't do at all." + +"Discharged the sarvice! Tuppence farden a day. So I told 'un to +discharge hisself, and take all the old bundles and things away +upon his shoulders. Letters indeed! What business have they with +post-missusses, if they cannot pay 'em better nor tuppence farden +a day?" And in this way, under the shelter of Mrs. Crump's storm +of wrath against the inspector who had visited her, Lily and Bell +escaped much that would have fallen upon their own heads; but Mrs. +Boyce still remained. I may here add, in order that Mrs. Crump's +history may be carried on to the farthest possible point, that she +was not "discharged the sarvice," and that she still receives her +twopence farthing a day from the Crown. "That's a bitter old lady," +said the inspector to the man who was driving him. "Yes, sir; they +all says the same about she. There ain't none of 'em get much change +out of Mrs. Crump." + +Bell and Lily went together also to Mrs. Boyce's. "If she makes +herself very disagreeable, I shall insist upon talking of your +marriage," said Lily. + +"I've not the slightest objection," said Bell; "only I don't know +what there can be to say about it. Marrying the doctor is such a very +commonplace sort of thing." + +"Not a bit more commonplace than marrying the parson," said Lily. + +"Oh, yes, it is. Parsons' marriages are often very grand affairs. +They come in among county people. That's their luck in life. Doctors +never do; nor lawyers. I don't think lawyers ever get married in +the country. They're supposed to do it up in London. But a country +doctor's wedding is not a thing to be talked about much." + +Mrs. Boyce probably agreed in this view of the matter, seeing that +she did not choose the coming marriage as her first subject of +conversation. As soon as the two girls were seated she flew away +immediately to the house, and began to express her very great +surprise,--her surprise and her joy also,--at the sudden change which +had been made in their plans. "It is so much nicer, you know," said +she, "that things should be pleasant among relatives." + +"Things always have been tolerably pleasant with us," said Bell. + +"Oh, yes; I'm sure of that. I've always said it was quite a pleasure +to see you and your uncle together. And when we heard about your all +having to leave--" + +"But we didn't have to leave, Mrs. Boyce. We were going to leave +because we thought mamma would be more comfortable in Guestwick; +and now we're not going to leave, because we've all 'changed our +mindses,' as Mrs. Crump calls it." + +"And is it true the house is going to be painted?" asked Mrs. Boyce. + +"I believe it is true," said Lily. + +"Inside and out?" + +"It must be done some day," said Bell. + +"Yes, to be sure; but I must say it is generous of the squire. +There's such a deal of wood-work about your house. I know I wish the +Ecclesiastical Commissioners would paint ours; but nobody ever does +anything for the clergy. I'm sure I'm delighted you're going to stay. +As I said to Mr. Boyce, what should we ever have done without you? +I believe the squire had made up his mind that he would not let the +place." + +"I don't think he ever has let it." + +"And if there was nobody in it, it would all go to rack and ruin; +wouldn't it? Had your mamma to pay anything for the lodgings she +engaged at Guestwick?" + +"Upon my word, I don't know. Bell can tell you better about that +than I, as Dr. Crofts settled it. I suppose Dr. Crofts tells her +everything." And so the conversation was changed, and Mrs. Boyce was +made to understand that whatever further mystery there might be, it +would not be unravelled on that occasion. + +It was settled that Dr. Crofts and Bell should be married about the +middle of June, and the squire determined to give what grace he could +to the ceremony by opening his own house on the occasion. Lord De +Guest and Lady Julia were invited by special arrangement between her +ladyship and Bell, as has been before explained. The colonel also +with Lady Fanny came up from Torquay on the occasion, this being the +first visit made by the colonel to his paternal roof for many years. +Bernard did not accompany his father. He had not yet gone abroad, but +there were circumstances which made him feel that he would not find +himself comfortable at the wedding. The service was performed by +Mr. Boyce, assisted, as the _County Chronicle_ very fully remarked, +by the Reverend John Joseph Jones, M.A., late of Jesus College, +Cambridge, and curate of St. Peter's, Northgate, Guestwick; the +fault of which little advertisement was this,--that as none of the +readers of the paper had patience to get beyond the Reverend John +Joseph Jones, the fact of Bell's marriage with Dr. Crofts was not +disseminated as widely as might have been wished. + +The marriage went off very nicely. The squire was upon his very best +behaviour, and welcomed his guests as though he really enjoyed their +presence there in his halls. Hopkins, who was quite aware that he had +been triumphant, decorated the old rooms with mingled flowers and +greenery with an assiduous care which pleased the two girls mightily. +And during this work of wreathing and decking there was one little +morsel of feeling displayed which may as well be told in these last +lines. Lily had been encouraging the old man while Bell for a moment +had been absent. + +"I wish it had been for thee, my darling!" he said; "I wish it had +been for thee!" + +"It is much better as it is, Hopkins," she answered, solemnly. + +"Not with him, though," he went on, "not with him. I wouldn't 'a hung +a bough for him. But with t'other one." + +Lily said no word further. She knew that the man was expressing the +wishes of all around her. She said no word further, and then Bell +returned to them. + +But no one at the wedding was so gay as Lily,--so gay, so bright, +and so wedding-like. She flirted with the old earl till he declared +that he would marry her himself. No one seeing her that evening, and +knowing nothing of her immediate history, would have imagined that +she herself had been cruelly jilted some six or eight months ago. And +those who did know her could not imagine that what she then suffered +had hit her so hard, that no recovery seemed possible for her. +But though no recovery, as she herself believed, was possible for +her--though she was as a man whose right arm had been taken from him +in the battle, still all the world had not gone with that right arm. +The bullet which had maimed her sorely had not touched her life, and +she scorned to go about the world complaining either by word or look +of the injury she had received. "Wives when they have lost their +husbands still eat and laugh," she said to herself, "and he is not +dead like that." So she resolved that she would be happy, and I here +declare that she not only seemed to carry out her resolution, but +that she did carry it out in very truth. "You're a dear good man, +and I know you'll be good to her," she said to Crofts just as he was +about to start with his bride. + +"I'll try, at any rate," he answered. + +"And I shall expect you to be good to me too. Remember you have +married the whole family; and, sir, you mustn't believe a word of +what that bad man says in his novels about mothers-in-law. He has +done a great deal of harm, and shut half the ladies in England out of +their daughters' houses." + +"He shan't shut Mrs. Dale out of mine." + +"Remember he doesn't. Now, good-by." So the bride and bridegroom went +off, and Lily was left to flirt with Lord De Guest. + +Of whom else is it necessary that a word or two should be said before +I allow the weary pen to fall from my hand? The squire, after much +inward struggling on the subject, had acknowledged to himself that +his sister-in-law had not received from him that kindness which she +had deserved. He had acknowledged this, purporting to do his best to +amend his past errors; and I think I may say that his efforts in that +line would not be received ungraciously by Mrs. Dale. I am inclined +therefore to think that life at Allington, both at the Great House +and at the Small, would soon become pleasanter than it used to be in +former days. Lily soon got the Balmoral boots, or, at least, soon +learned that the power of getting them as she pleased had devolved +upon her from her uncle's gift; so that she talked even of buying the +squirrel's cage; but I am not aware that her extravagance led her as +far as that. + +Lord De Courcy we left suffering dreadfully from gout and ill-temper +at Courcy Castle. Yes, indeed! To him in his latter days life did +not seem to offer much that was comfortable. His wife had now gone +from him, and declared positively to her son-in-law that no earthly +consideration should ever induce her to go back again;--"not if I +were to starve!" she said. By which she intended to signify that +she would be firm in her resolve, even though she should thereby +lose her carriage and horses. Poor Mr. Gazebee went down to Courcy, +and had a dreadful interview with the earl; but matters were at +last arranged, and her ladyship remained at Baden-Baden in a state +of semi-starvation. That is to say, she had but one horse to her +carriage. + +As regards Crosbie, I am inclined to believe that he did again +recover his power at his office. He was Mr. Butterwell's master, and +the master also of Mr. Optimist, and the major. He knew his business, +and could do it, which was more, perhaps, than might fairly be said +of any of the other three. Under such circumstances he was sure to +get in his hand, and lead again. But elsewhere his star did not +recover its ascendancy. He dined at his club almost daily, and there +were those with whom he habitually formed some little circle. But he +was not the Crosbie of former days,--the Crosbie known in Belgravia +and in St. James's Street. He had taken his little vessel bravely out +into the deep waters, and had sailed her well while fortune stuck +close to him. But he had forgotten his nautical rules, and success +had made him idle. His plummet and lead had not been used, and he had +kept no look-out ahead. Therefore the first rock he met shivered his +bark to pieces. His wife, the Lady Alexandrina, is to be seen in the +one-horse carriage with her mother at Baden-Baden. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SMALL HOUSE AT ALLINGTON*** + + +******* This file should be named 4599.txt or 4599.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/4/5/9/4599 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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