diff options
Diffstat (limited to '44965-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 44965-0.txt | 6526 |
1 files changed, 6526 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/44965-0.txt b/44965-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7409cab --- /dev/null +++ b/44965-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6526 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44965 *** + + ADVENTURES IN THE RIFLE BRIGADE + + IN THE + + PENINSULA, FRANCE, + + AND THE + + NETHERLANDS, + + From the Year 1809 to 1815; + + BY CAPTAIN JOHN KINCAID, FIRST BATTALION. + + One vol. post 8vo. price 10_s._ 6_d._ boards. + + +"To those who are unacquainted with John Kincaid of the Rifles,--and +few, we trow, of the old Peninsula bands are in this ignorant +predicament, and to those who know him, we equally recommend the +perusal of his book: it is a fac simile of the man,--a perfect +reflection of his image, _veluti in speculo_. A capital Soldier, a +pithy and graphic narrator, and a fellow of infinite jest. Captain +Kincaid has given us, in this modest volume, the impress of his +qualities, the _beau ideal_ of a thorough-going Soldier of Service, and +the faithful and witty history of some six years' honest and triumphant +fighting. + +"There is nothing extant in a Soldier's Journal, which, with so little +pretension, paints with such truth and raciness the "domestic economy" +of campaigning, and the downright business of handling the enemy. + +"But we cannot follow further;--recommending every one of our readers +to pursue the Author himself to his crowning scene of Waterloo, +where they will find him as quaint and original as at his _debut_. +We assure them, it is not possible, by isolated extracts, to give a +suitable impression of the spirit and originality which never flag from +beginning to end of Captain Kincaid's volume; in every page of which he +throws out flashes of native humour, a tithe of which would make the +fortune of a Grub-street Bookmaker."--_United Service Journal._ + + * * * * * + +"We do not recollect one, among the scores of personal narratives, +where the reader will find more of the realities of a Soldier's +Life, or of the horrors that mark it; all is told gaily, but not +unfeelingly."--_New Monthly Magazine, July._ + + * * * * * + +"His book has one fault, the rarest fault in books, it is too +short."--_Monthly Magazine, April._ + + * * * * * + +"His book is one of the most lively histories of Soldiers' +Adventures which have yet appeared; their entire freedom from +affectation will sufficiently recommend them to a numerous class of +readers."--_Athenæum._ + + * * * * * + +"_Kincaid's Adventures in the Rifle Brigade_ is written with all the +frankness and freedom from study which bespeaks the gallant soldier, +one to whom the sword is more adapted than the pen, but who, as now +_cedunt arma togæ_, has, in these 'piping times' of peace, determined +to 'fight all his battles over again,' and he fights them in a style +interesting and graphic. The remarks on the decisive termination +of the Battle of Waterloo are striking and convincing; and to them +and the whole book we refer our readers for much amusement and +information."--_The Age._ + + * * * * * + +"This is an excellent and amusing book; and although it neither gives, +nor pretends to give, lessons in strategy, or a true history of the +great operations of our armies, we hold it to be a very instructive +work. Napier, it is true, continues to be our textbook in the art of +war; but, even in his work, there is something awanting, something +which a due attention to historical etiquette prevents his conveying +to us. He shows most satisfactorily the talents of our generals, and +the _morale_ of our army; but there is an insight into its composition +which he cannot give us, and which, indeed, nothing can give but a wide +personal acquaintance with military men, and lots of volumes like the +present."--_Edinburgh Literary Journal._ + + * * * * * + +"Il est rare que les aventures arrivées à un seul personnage et +racontées par lui intéressent le public au point de faire obtenir à ses +mémoires un véritable succès; mais il en est autrement quand l'auteur a +su habilement accompagner son histoire du récit de faits et d'événemens +qui ont déjá fixé l'attention publique. L'ouvrage du Capitaine Kincaid +est intéressant sous ces deux points de vue et sera favorablement +accueilli. En même tems qu'on suit avec plaisir la marche de ses +aventures, on recueille une foule de détails ignorés sur les campagnes +de 1809 à 1815."--_Furet de Londres._ + + + + + RANDOM SHOTS + FROM A + RIFLEMAN. + + BY J. KINCAID, + + _Late Captain in, and Author of "Adventures in the Rifle Brigade."_ + + + SECOND EDITION. + + + LONDON: + T. AND W. BOONE, 29, NEW BOND STREET. + M DCCC XLVII. + + + + + TO + + MAJOR-GENERAL + + LORD FITZROY SOMERSET, K.C.B. + + &c. &c. &c. + + THIS VOLUME IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED + + BY HIS VERY OBEDIENT + + AND VERY OBLIGED HUMBLE SERVANT, + + J. KINCAID. + + + + +NOTICE. + + +When I sent my volume of "Adventures in the Rifle Brigade" into the +world, some one of its many kind and indulgent critics was imprudent +enough to say that "it had one fault, the rarest fault in books--it was +too short;" and while I have therefore endeavoured to acquit myself of +such an unlooked-for charge by sending this additional one, I need only +observe that if it also fails to satisfy, they may have "yet another." + +Like its predecessor, this volume is drawn solely from memory, and of +course open to error; but of this my readers may feel assured, that +it is free from romance; for even in the few soldiers' _yarns_ which I +have thought fit to introduce, the leading features are facts. + +Lastly, in making my second editorial bow to the public, let me assure +them that it is with no greater literary pretensions. I sent forth my +first volume contrary to my own judgement; but rough and unpolished as +it was, it pleased a numerous class of readers, and I therefore trust +to be forgiven for marching past again to the same tune, in the hope +that my _reviewing generals_ may make the same favourable report of me +in their orderly books. + + +ERRATUM. + +Page 11, line 2, _for_ remarkable, _read_ remarkably. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + CHAPTER I. + PAGE + Family Pictures, with select Views of the Estate, fenced with + distant Prospects 1 + + + CHAP. II. + + "No man can tether time or tide, + The hour approaches Tam maun ride." + + And he takes one side step and two front ones on the road to + glory 11 + + + CHAP. III. + + An old one takes to his heels, leaving a young one in + arms.--The dessert does not always follow the last coarse + of--a goose.--Goes to the war, and ends in love 30 + + + CHAP. IV. + + Shewing how generals may descend upon particulars with a + cat-o'-nine tails. Some extra Tales added, Historical, + Comical, and Warlike all 44 + + + CHAP. V. + + The paying of a French compliment, which will be repaid in + a future chapter. A fierce attack upon hairs. A niece + compliment, and lessons gratis to untaught sword-bearers 79 + + + CHAP. VI. + + Reaping a Horse with a halter. Reaping golden Opinions out of + a Dung-Hill, and reaping a good Story or two out of the next + Room. A Dog-Hunt and Sheep's Heads prepared at the Expense of + a Dollar each, and a Scotchman's Nose 94 + + + CHAP. VII. + + "Blood and destruction shall be so in use, + And dreadful objects so familiar, + That mothers shall but smile when they behold + Their infants quartered with the hands of war." 130 + + + CHAP. VII. + + The persecution of the guardian of two angels. A Caçadore and + his mounted followers. A chief of hussars in his trousers. + A chief of rifles in his glory, and a sub of ditto with two + screws in the neck 155 + + + CHAP. VIII. + + National Characters. Adventures of a pair of leather Breeches. + Ditto of a pound of Beef. Shewing what the French General did + not do, and a Prayer which he did not pray; with a few random + Shots. 176 + + + CHAP. IX. + + A bishop's gathering.--Volunteers for a soldier's love, with + a portrait of the lover.--Burning a bivouac. Old invented + thrashing machines and baking concerns.--A flying Padre + taking a shot flying 219 + + + CHAP. X. + + Shewing how a volunteer may not be what Doctor Johnson made + him.--A mayor's nest.--Cupping.--The Author's reasons for + punishing the world with a book.--And some volunteers of the + right sort 236 + + + CHAP. XI. + + Very short, with a few anecdotes still shorter; but the + principal actors thought the scene long enough 265 + + + CHAP. XII. + + Shewing rough visitors receiving a rough reception. Some living + and moving specimens thereof. Tailors not such fractions of + humanity as is generally believed. Gentle visitors receiving + a gentle reception, which ends by shewing that two shakes + joined together sound more melodiously on the heart-strings + than two hands which shake of their own accord 277 + + + CHAP. XIII. + + Specimens of target-practice, in which markers may become + marked men.--A grave anecdote, shewing "how some men have + honours thrust upon them." A line drawn between man and + beast.--Lines drawn between regiments, and shewing how + credit may not be gained by losing what they are made + of.--Aristocratic.--Dedicatic.--Dissertation on advanced + guards, and desertion of knapsacks, shewing that "the greater + haste the worse speed" 299 + + + + +RANDOM SHOTS + +FROM + +A RIFLEMAN. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + Family Pictures, with select Views of the Estate, fenced with + distant Prospects. + + +Every book has a beginning, and the beginning of every book is the +undoubted spot on which the historian is bound to parade his hero. +The novelist may therefore continue to envelope his man in a fog as +long as he likes, but for myself I shall at once unfold to the world +that I am my own hero; and though that same world hold my countrymen +to be rich in wants, with the article of modesty among them, yet do I +hope to maintain the character I have assumed, with as much propriety +as can reasonably be expected of one labouring under such a national +infirmity, for + + "I am a native of that land, which + Some poets' lips and painters' hands" + +have pictured barren and treeless. But to shew that these are mere +fancy sketches, I need only mention that as long as I remember +anything, there grew a bonny brier and sundry gooseberry bushes in our +kail-yard, and it was surrounded by a stately row of pines, rearing +their long spinster waists and umbrella heads over the cabbages, as +carefully as a hen does her wings over her brood of chickens, so that +neither the sun nor moon, and but a very few favoured stars had the +slightest chance of getting a peep therein, nor had anything therein +a chance of getting a peep out, unless in the cabbages returning the +sheep's eyes of their star-gazers; for, while the front was protected +by a long range of house and offices, with no ingress or egress but +through the hall-door, the same duty was performed on the other three +sides by a thick quick-set hedge which was impervious to all but the +sparrows, so that the wondrous wise man of Islington might there have +scratched his eyes out and in again a dozen times without being much +the wiser. + +My father was the laird and farmed the small property I speak of, +in the lowlands of Stirlingshire, but he was unfortunately cut off +in early life, and long before his young family were capable of +appreciating the extent of their loss, and I may add, to the universal +regret of the community to which he belonged; and in no country have I +met, in the same walks of life, a body of men to equal in intelligence, +prudence, and respectability, the small lowland Scotch laird. + +Marrying and dying are ceremonies which almost every one has to go +through at some period of his life, and from being so common, one would +expect that they might cease to be uncommon; but people, nevertheless, +still continue to look upon them as important events in their +individual histories. And while, with the class I speak of, the joys +of the one and the grief at the other was as sensibly and unaffectedly +shewn as amongst any, yet with them the loss of the head of the house +produces no very material change in the family arrangements; for while +in some places the proprietary of a sheep confers a sort of patent +of gentility upon the whole flock, leaving as a bequest a scramble +for supremacy, yet the lowland laird is another manner of man; one in +fact who is not afraid to reckon his chickens before they are hatched, +and who suffers no son of his to be born out of his proper place. The +eldest therefore steps into his father's shoes as naturally as his +father steps out of them. The second is destined to be a gentleman, +that is, he receives a superior education, and as soon as he is deemed +qualified, he is started off with a tolerable outfit and some ha'pence +in his pocket to fulfil his destiny in one of the armed or learned +professions, while the junior members of the family are put in such +other way of shifting for themselves as taste and prudence may point +out. And having thus, gentle reader, expounded as much of my family +history as it behoveth thee to know, it only remains for me, with all +becoming modesty, to introduce myself to you as, by birthright, the +gentleman of the family, and without further ceremony to take you by +the hand and conduct you along the path which I found chalked out for +myself. + +In my native country, as elsewhere, Dame Fortune is to be seen cutting +her usual capers, and often sends a man starving for a life-time as +a parson looking for a pulpit, a doctor dining on his own pills, or +as a lawyer who has nothing to insert in his last earthly testament, +who would otherwise have flourished on the top of a hay-stack, or as +a cooper round a tar-barrel. How far she was indulgent in my case is +a matter of moonshine. Suffice it that I commenced the usual process +at the usual place, the parish school, under that most active of all +teachers--Whipping, + + "That's Virtue's governess, + Tutress of arts and sciences; + That mends the gross mistakes of nature, + And puts new life into dull matter." + +And from the first letter in the alphabet I was successively flogged +up through a tolerable quantity of English, some ten or a dozen books +of Latin, into three or four of French, and there is no saying whether +the cat-o'-nine tails, wielded by such a masterly hand, might not +eventually have stirred me up as high as the woolsack, had not one of +those tides in the affairs of school-boys brought a Leith merchant to +a worthy old uncle of mine (who was one of my guardians) in search of +a quill-driver, and turned the current of my thoughts into another +channel. To be or not to be, that was the question; whether 'twere +better to abide more stings and scourges from the outrageous cat, or to +take the offer which was made, and end them. + +It may readily be believed that I felt a suitable horror at the +sight of the leathern instrument which had been so long and so ably +administered for my edification, nor had I much greater affection for +the learned professions as they loomed in perspective, for I feared +the minister, hated the doctor, and had no respect for the lawyer, and +in short it required but little persuasion to induce me to bind my +prospects for the ensuing three years to the desk of a counting-house. +I therefore took leave of my indefatigable preceptor, not forgetting +to insert on the tablets of my memory, a promissory note to repay +him stripe for stripe with legal interest, as soon as I should find +myself qualified to perform the operation; but I need not add that the +note (as all such notes usually are) was duly dishonoured; for, when +I became capable of appreciating his virtues, I found him a worthy +excellent man, and one who meant for the best; but I have lived to see +that the schoolmaster of that day was all abroad. + +The reminiscences of my three years' mercantile life leave me nothing +worth recording, except that it was then I first caught a glimpse of +my natal star. + +I had left school as a school-boy, unconscious of a feeling beyond the +passing moment. But the period at length arrived when Buonaparte's +threatened invasion fired every loyal pair of shoulders with a scarlet +coat. Mine were yet too slender to fill up a gap in the ranks, and my +arm too weak to wield any thing more formidable than a drum-stick, +but in devotion to the cause I would not have yielded to Don Quixote +himself. The pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious war had in fact +set my soul in an unquenchable blaze, and I could think of nothing +else. In reckoning up a column of pounds, shillings, and pence, I +counted them but as so many soldiers, the rumbling of empty puncheons +in the wine cellar sounded in my ears as the thunder of artillery, +and the croaking voice of a weasand old watchman at "half-past twelve +o'clock," as the hoarse challenge of the sentry from the ramparts. + +My prospect of succeeding to the object on which I had placed my +affections were at the time but slender, but having somewhere read +that if one did but set his eye on any thing in reason, and pursued +it steadily, he would finally attain it, I resolved to adhere to such +an animating maxim, and fixing my heart on a captain's commission, I +pursued it steadily, and for the encouragement of youth in all times to +come, I am proud to record that I finally did attain it. + +I returned to the country on the expiration of my apprenticeship, which +(considering the object I had in view) happened at a most auspicious +moment; for the ensign of our parochial company of local militia had +just received a commission in the line, and I was fortunate enough +to step into his vacated commission as well as into his clothing and +appointments. + +I had by that time grown into a tall ramrod of a fellow, as fat as a +whipping-post--my predecessor had been a head and shoulders shorter, +so that in marching into his trousers I was obliged to put my legs +so far through them that it required the eye of a _connoisseur_ to +distinguish whether they were not intended as a pair of breeches. +The other end of my arms, too, were exposed to equal animadversion, +protruding through the coat-sleeves to an extent which would have +required a pair of gauntlets of the horse-guards blue to fill up the +vacancy. Nevertheless, no peacock ever strutted more proudly in his +plumage than I did in mine--and when I found myself on a Sunday in +the front seat of the gallery of our parish church, exposed to the +admiration of a congregation of milk-maids, my delight was without +alloy. + + + + +CHAP. II. + + "No man can tether time or tide, + The hour approaches Tam maun ride." + +And he takes one side step and two front ones on the road to glory. + + +It was a very fine thing, no doubt, to be an ensign in the local +militia, and a remarkably pretty thing to be the admiration of all the +milk-maids of a parish, but while time was jogging, I found myself +standing with nothing but the precarious footing of those pleasures +to stand upon, and it therefore behoved me to think of sinking the +ornamental for the sake of the useful; and a neighbouring worthy, who +was an importer and vender of foreign timber, happening at this time +to make a proposition to unite our fortunes, and that I should take +the charge of a branch establishment in the city of Glasgow, it was +arranged accordingly, and my next position therefore was behind my own +desk in that Wapping of Glasgow, called the Gorbals. + +Mars, however, was still in the ascendant, for my first transaction +in the way of business was to get myself appointed to a lieutenancy +in one of the volunteer regiments, and, as far as I remember, I think +that all my other transactions while I remained there redounded more +to my credit as a soldier than as a citizen, and when, at the end of +the year, the offer of an ensigncy in the militia enabled me to ascend +a step higher on the ladder of my ambition, leaving my partner to sell +or burn his sticks (whichever he might find the most profitable), I cut +mine, and joined that finest of all militia regiments, the North York, +when I began to hold up my head and to fancy myself something like a +soldier in reality. + +Our movements during the short period that I remained with them, +were confined to casual changes among the different stations on the +coasts of Kent and Sussex, where I got gradually initiated into all the +mysteries of home service,--learnt to make love to the smugglers' very +pretty daughters, and became a dead hand at wrenching the knocker from +a door. + +The idleness and the mischievous propensities of the officers of that +district (of the line as well as the militia) were proverbial at the +period I speak of; but, while as usual the report greatly exceeded +the reality, there was this to be said in their behalf, that they +were almost entirely excluded from respectable society; owing partly, +perhaps, to their not being quite so select as at the present time, +(those heroes who had a choice of pleasures preferring Almack's to +Napoleon's balls,) but chiefly to the numbers of the troops with which +those districts were inundated during the war, and which put it out +of the power of individual residents to notice such a succession of +military interlopers, unless they happened to be especially recommended +to them; so that, as the Irishman expresses it--he was a lucky +cove indeed who in those days succeeded in getting his legs under a +gentleman's mahogany. + +It is not therefore much to be wondered at, if a parcel of wild young +fellows thrown on their own resources, when that warlike age required a +larking spirit to be encouraged rather than repressed amongst them,--I +say, it is not to be wondered at if they did occasionally amuse +themselves with a class of persons which, under other circumstances, +they would have avoided, and if the consequences were sometimes what +they had better not have been--but the accounts between the man and +woman of that day having been long since closed, it is not for me to +re-open them, yet I remember that even that manner of life was not +without its charms. + +The only variety in my year's militia life was an encampment on the +lines at Chatham, where we did duty on board the hulks, in the Medway. +My post was for the greater period with a guard on board the old +Irresistible, which was laden with about eight hundred heavy Danes +who had been found guilty of defending their property against their +invaders, and I can answer for it that they were made as miserable as +any body of men detected in such a heinous crime had a right to be, +for of all diabolical constructions in the shape of prisons the hulks +claim by right a pre-eminence. However, we were then acting under the +broad acknowledged principle, that those who are not for, are against +us, and upon that same principle, the worthy Danes with their ships +were respectfully invited to repose themselves for a while within our +hospitable harbours. + +On the breaking up of our encampment at Chatham we marched to Deal, +where one of the periodical volunteerings from the militia, (to fill up +the ranks of the line,) took place, and I need not add that I greedily +snatched at the opportunity it offered to place myself in the position +for which I had so long sighed. + +On those occasions any subaltern who could persuade a given number of +men to follow him, received a commission in whatever regiment of the +line he wished, provided there was a vacancy for himself and followers. +I therefore chose that which had long been the object of my secret +adoration, as well for its dress as the nature of its services and its +achievements, the old ninety-fifth, now the Rifle Brigade.--"Hurrah +for the first in the field and the last out of it, the bloody fighting +ninety-fifth," was the cry of my followers while beating up for more +recruits--and as glory was their object, a fighting and a bloody corps +the gallant fellows found it, for out of the many who followed Captain +Strode and me to it, there were but two serjeants and myself, after the +sixth campaign, alive to tell the tale. + +I cannot part from the good old North York without a parting tribute +to their remembrance, for as a militia regiment they were not to be +surpassed.--Their officers _were officers_ as well as gentlemen, and +there were few among them who would not have filled the same rank in +the line with credit to themselves and to the service, and several +wanted but the opportunity to turn up trumps of the first order. + +I no sooner found myself gazetted than I took a run up to London to get +rid of my loose cash, which being very speedily accomplished, I joined +the regiment at Hythe barracks. + +They had just returned from sharing in the glories and disasters of Sir +John Moore's retreat, and were busily employed in organizing again for +active service. I have never seen a regiment of more gallant bearing +than the first battalion there shewed itself, from their brilliant +chief, (the late Sir Sidney Beckwith), downwards; they were all that a +soldier could love to look on; and, splendid as was their appearance, +it was the least admirable part about them, for the beauty of their +system of discipline consisted in their doing every thing that was +necessary, and nothing that was not, so that every man's duty was a +pleasure to him, and the _esprit de corps_ was unrivalled. + +There was an abundance of Johny Newcome's, like myself, tumbling in +hourly, for it was then such a favourite corps with the militia men, +that they received a thousand men over their complement within the +first three days of the volunteering, (and before a stop could be +put to it,) which compelled the horse-guards to give an additional +battalion to the corps. + +On my first arrival my whole soul was so absorbed in the interest +excited by the service-officers that, for a time, I could attend +to nothing else--I could have worshipped the different relics that +adorned their barrack-rooms--the pistol or the dagger of some gaunt +Spanish robber--a string of beads from the Virgin Mary of some village +chapel--or the brazen helmet of some French dragoon, taken from his +head after it had parted company with his shoulders, and with what a +greedy ear did I swallow the stories of their hair-breadth 'scapes and +imminent perils, and long for the time when I should be able to make +such relics and such tales mine own. Fate has since been propitious, +and enabled me to spin as long a yarn as most folks, but as some of +their original stories still dwell with much interest on my memory, +I shall quote one or two of them, in the hope that they may not prove +less so to my readers, for I am not aware that they have yet been +published. + + +ANECDOTE THE FIRST. + +Of all the vicissitudes of the late disastrous campaign, I found that +nothing dwelt so interestingly on the remembrance of our officers as +their affair at Calcabellos--partly because it was chiefly a regimental +fight, and partly because they were taken at a disadvantage, and +acquitted themselves becomingly. + +The regiment was formed in front of Calcabellos covering the rear of +the infantry, and on the first appearance of the enemy they had been +ordered to withdraw behind the town. Three parts of them had already +passed the bridge, and the remainder were upon it, or in the act of +filing through the street with the careless confidence which might be +expected from their knowledge that the British cavalry still stood +between them and the enemy; but in an instant our own cavalry, without +the slightest notice, galloped through and over them, and the same +instant saw a French sabre flourishing over the head of every man who +remained beyond the bridge--many were cut down in the streets, and a +great portion of the rear company were taken prisoners. + +The remainder of the regiment, seeing the unexpected attack, quickly +drew off among the vineyards to the right and left of the road, where +they coolly awaited the approaching assault. The dismounted voltigeurs +first swarmed over the river, assailing the riflemen on all sides, +but they were met by a galling fire, which effectually stopped them. +General Colbert next advanced to dislodge them, and passing the +river at the head of his dragoons, he charged furiously up the road; +but, when within a few yards of our men, he was received with such a +deadly fire, that scarcely a Frenchman remained in the saddle, and the +general himself was among the slain. The voltigeurs persevered in +their unsuccessful endeavours to force the post, and a furious fight +continued to be waged, until darkness put an end to it, both sides +having suffered severely. + +Although the principal combat had ceased with the day-light, the +riflemen found that the troubles and the fatigues of twenty-four hours +were yet in their infancy, for they had to remain in the position until +ten at night, to give the rest of the army time to fall back, during +which they had to sustain several fierce assaults, which the enemy +made, with the view of ascertaining whether our army were on the move; +but in every attempt they were gallantly repulsed, and remained in +ignorance on the subject until day-light next morning. Our people had, +in the meantime, been on the move the greater part of the night, and +those only who have done a mile or two of vineyard walking in the dark, +can form an adequate notion of their twenty-four hours work. + +General Colbert (the enemy's hero of the day) was, by all accounts, +(if I may be permitted the expression,) splendid as a man, and not less +so as a soldier. From the commencement of the retreat of our army he +had led the advance, and been conspicuous for his daring: his gallant +bearing had, in fact, excited the admiration of his enemies; but on +this day, the last of his brilliant earthly career, he was mounted on +a white charger, and had been a prominent figure in the attack of our +men in the street the instant before, and it is not, therefore, to be +wondered at if the admiration for the soldier was for a space drowned +in the feeling for the fallen comrades which his bravery had consigned +to death; a rifleman, therefore, of the name of Plunket, exclaiming, +"thou too shalt surely die!" took up an advanced position, for the +purpose of singling him out, and by his hand he no doubt fell. + +Plunket was not less daring in his humble capacity than the great +man he had just brought to the dust. He was a bold, active, athletic +Irishman, and a deadly shot; but the curse of his country was upon +him, and I believe he was finally discharged, without receiving such a +recompense as his merits in the field would otherwise have secured to +him. + + +ANECDOTE THE SECOND. + +In one of the actions in which our regiment was engaged, in covering +the retreat to Corunna, a superior body of the enemy burst upon the +post of a young officer of the name of Uniacke, compelling him to give +way in disorder, and in the short scramble which followed, he very +narrowly escaped being caught by the French officer who had led the +advance,--a short stout fellow, with a cocked hat, and a pair of huge +jack-boots. + +Uniacke was one of the most active men in the army, and being speedily +joined by his supporting body, which turned the tables upon his +adversary, he resolved to give his _friend_ a sweat in return for the +one he had got, and started after him, with little doubt, from his +appearance and equipment, that he would have him by the neck before he +had got many yards further; but, to his no small mortification, the +stout gentleman plied his seven-league boots so cleverly that Uniacke +was unable to gain an inch upon him. + + +ANECDOTE THE THIRD. + +At Astorga, a ludicrous alarm was occasioned by the frolic of an +officer; though it might have led to more serious results. + +The regiment was quartered in a convent, and the officers and the +friars were promiscuously bundled for the night on mattresses laid in +one of the galleries; when, about midnight, Captain ---- awaking, and +seeing the back of one of the Padres looking him full in the face, +from under the bed-clothes, as if inviting the slap of a fist, he, +acting on the impulse of the moment, jumped up, and with a hand as +broad as a coal-shovel, and quite as hard, made it descend on the +bottom of the astounded sleeper with the force of a paviour, and then +stole back to his couch. The Padre roared a hundred murders, and murder +was roared by a hundred Padres, while the other officers, starting up +in astonishment, drew their swords and began grappling with whoever +happened to be near them. The uproar, fortunately, brought some of the +attendants with lights before any mischief happened, when the cause of +the disturbance was traced, to the no small amusement of every one. +The offender tried hard to convince the afflicted father that he had +been under the influence of a dream; but the four fingers and the thumb +remained too legibly written on the offended spot to permit him to +swallow it. + + +ANECDOTE THE FOURTH. + +When the straggling and the disorders of the army on the retreat to +Corunna became so serious as to demand an example, Sir Edward Paget, +who commanded the reserve, caused two of the plunderers to be tried by +a court-martial, and they were sentenced to suffer death. The troops +were ordered to parade in front of the town, to witness the execution, +but, while in the act of assembling, a dragoon came galloping in +from the front to inform Sir Edward by desire of his brother (Lord +Paget), that the enemy were on the move, and that it was time for +the infantry to retire. Sir Edward, however, took no notice of the +message. The troops assembled, and the square was formed, when a second +dragoon arrived, to say that the enemy were advancing so rapidly that +if Sir Edward did not immediately retire, his lordship could not be +answerable for the consequences. Sir Edward, with his usual coolness +and determination, said he cared not, for he had a duty to perform, +and were the enemy firing into the square, that he would persevere +with it. Dragoon after dragoon, in rapid succession, galloped in with +a repetition of the message; still the preparations went on, and by +the time they were completed, (and it wanted but the word of command to +launch the culprits into eternity,) the clang of the carabines of the +retreating dragoons was heard all around. + +In the breast of Sir Edward, it is probable, that the door of mercy +never had been closed, and that he had only waited until the last +possible moment to make it the more impressive; and impressive truly +it must have been; nor is it easy to imagine such a moment; for, +independently of the solemn and desolate feeling with which one at all +times witnesses the execution of a comrade, let his offence be what it +may, they had an additional intensity on this occasion, on the score of +their own safety; for, brief as the span seemed to be that was allotted +to the culprits, the clang of the carabine, and the whistling ball, +told that it was possible to be even still more brief on the parts of +many of the spectators. + +Sir Edward, however, now addressed the troops, with a degree of +coolness which would argue that danger and he had been long familiar. +He pointed out the enormity of the offence of which the culprits had +been guilty, that they deserved not to be saved, and that though the +enemy were now upon them, and might lay half their number dead while +witnessing the execution, that only one thing would save them, and that +was, "would the troops now present pledge themselves that this should +be the last instance of insubordination that would occur in the course +of the retreat?" A simultaneous "Yes," burst from the lips of the +assembled thousands, and the next instant saw the necessary measures +taken to check the advancing foe, while the remainder resumed their +retreat, lightened of a load of care, which a few minutes before had +been almost intolerable. + +The conduct of these regiments, as compared with others, was very +exemplary during the retreat, although their duty, in protecting the +stragglers of the army till the last possible moment, was of the most +harassing kind. They had no means of punishing those to whom they were +indebted for their extra trouble, but by depriving them of their +ill-gotten gains, so that whenever a fellow came in with a bag of flour +under his arm, (which was no uncommon occurrence,) they made it a +rule to empty the bag over his head, to make him a marked man. Napier +says of them, that "for twelve days these hardy soldiers covered the +retreat, during which time they had traversed eighty miles of road +in two marches, passed several nights under arms in the snow of the +mountains, were seven times engaged with the enemy, and now assembled +at the outposts (before Corunna), having fewer men missing from the +ranks, including those who had fallen in battle, than any other +division in the army."[A] + + [A] The foregoing story, I find, has just made its + appearance in a volume published by Lieutenant-Colonel + Cadell; but as this narrative was publicly noticed, as + being in preparation, prior to the publication of his, + I have not thought it necessary to expunge it. + +I shall now, with the reader's permission, resume the thread of my +narrative. + + + + +CHAP. III. + + An old one takes to his heels, leaving a young one in + arms.--The dessert does not always follow the last course of--a + goose.--Goes to the war, and ends in love. + + +In those days, the life of a soldier was a stirring and an active one. +I had not joined the regiment above a fortnight when the 1st battalion +received orders for immediate active service, and General Graham was +to make his appearance on the morrow, to inspect them prior to their +embarkation. Every man destined for service was to appear in the ranks, +and as my turn had not yet come, I was ordered, the previous evening, +to commence my career as a rifleman, in charge of the guard; and a most +unhappy _debut_ I made of it, and one that argued but little in behalf +of my chances of future fame in the profession. + +My guard was composed of the Lord knows who, for, excepting on the back +of the sergeant, I remember that there was not a rag of uniform amongst +them. I was too anxious to forget all about them to think of informing +myself afterwards; but, from what I have since seen, I am satisfied +that they must either have been a recent importation from "the first +gem of the sea," or they had been furnished for the occasion by the +governor of Newgate;--however, be that as it may, I had some ten or a +dozen prisoners handed over to me; and as my eye was not sufficiently +practised to distinguish, in such a group, which was the soldier and +which the prisoner, I very discreetly left the whole affair to the +sergeant, who seemed to be a man of _nous_. But while I was dozing on +the guard-bed, about midnight, I was startled by a scramble in the +soldier's room, and the cry of "guard, turn out;" and, on running out +to ascertain the cause, the sergeant told me that the light in the +guard-house had been purposely upset by some one, and, suspecting +that a trick was intended, he had turned out the guard; and truly his +suspicions were well-grounded, although he took an erroneous method +of counteracting it; for, the sentry over the door, not being a much +shrewder fellow than myself in distinguishing characters in the dark, +in suffering the guard to turn out, had allowed some of the prisoners +to turn out too, and, amongst the rest, one who had been reserved for +an especial example of some sort or other, and whose absence was likely +to make a noise in the neighbourhood. + +This was certainly information enough to furnish me with food for +reflection for the remainder of the night, and, as if to enhance its +_agreeable_ nature, the sergeant-major paid me a visit at daylight in +the morning, and informed me that such things did sometimes happen;--he +enumerated several cases of the kind in different regiments, and left +me with the consolatory piece of information that the officer of +the guard had on each occasion been _allowed_ to retire without a +court-martial!!! My readers, I am sure, will rejoice with me that in +this, as in other cases, there is no rule without an exception, for +otherwise they would never have had the pleasure of reading a book of +mine. + +How I had the good fortune to be excepted on that occasion I never +found out; probably, in the hurry and bustle of preparation it was +overlooked,--or, probably, because they hoped better things of me +thereafter,--but my commanding officer never noticed it, and his +kindness in so doing put me more on the alert for the future than if he +had written a volume of censure. + +Among the other novelties of the aforesaid guard-house on that +memorable night, I got acquainted with a very worthy goose, whose +services in the Rifle Brigade well merit a chapter in its history. If +any one imagines that a goose is a goose he is very much mistaken: and +I am happy in having the power of undeceiving him, for I am about to +show that my (or rather our regimental) goose was shrewd, active, and +intelligent, it was a faithful public servant, a social companion, +and an attached friend, (I wish that every biped could say but half so +much). Its death, or its manner of departure from this world, is still +clouded in mystery; but while my book lives, the goose's memory shall +not die. + +It had attached itself to the guard-house several years prior to +my appearance there, and all its doings had been as steady as a +sentry-box: its post was with the sentry over the guard; in fine +weather it accompanied him in his walk, and in bad, it stood alongside +of him in his box. It marched with the officer of the guard in all +his visiting rounds, and it was the first on all occasions to give +notice of the approach of any one in authority, keeping a particularly +sharp look-out for the captain and field-officer of the day, whether +by day or night. The guard might sleep, the sentry might sleep, but +the goose was ever wide awake. It never considered itself relieved +from duty, except during the breakfast and dinner-hours, when it +invariably stepped into the guard-house, and partook of the soldiers' +cheer, for they were so devotedly attached to it that it was at all +times bountifully supplied, and it was not a little amusing, on those +occasions, to see how the fellow cackled whenever the soldiers laughed, +as if it understood and enjoyed the joke as much as they did. + +I did not see Moore's Almanack for 1812, and, therefore, know not +whether he predicted that Michaelmas would be fatal to many of the +tribe that year; but I never saw a comrade more universally lamented +than the poor goose was when the news of its mysterious disappearance +reached us in Spain. + +Our comrades at home, as a last proof of their affection, very +magnanimously offered a reward of ten pounds for the recovery of the +body, dead or alive; but whether it filled a respectable position in +a banquet of that year, or still lives to bother the decayed tooth of +some elderly maiden, at Michaelmas next, remains to be solved. + +On the 24th of March, 1809, our first battalion received orders to +march at midnight for Dover, there to be united with the 43d and 52d +regiments, as a light brigade, under Major-General Robert Crawfurd, +and to embark next morning to join the army which was then assembling +in the Peninsula. + +In marching for embarkation in those stirring times, the feeling +of the troops partook more of the nature of a ship's crew about to +sail on a roving commission, than a land-crab expedition which was +likely to prove eternal; for although one did occasionally see some +blubber-headed fellow mourning over his severed affections for a day or +two, yet a thorough-going one just gave a kiss to his wife, if he had +one, and two to his sweetheart, if he had not, and away he went with a +song in his mouth. + +I now joined the 2d battalion, where we were not permitted to rest +long on our oars, for, within a month, we were called upon to join the +expedition with which + + "The Great Earl of Chatham, and a hundred thousand men, + Sailed over to Holland, and then sailed back again." + +As the military operations of that expedition do not entitle them to a +place in such an important history as mine is, I shall pass them over, +simply remarking that some of our companies fired a few professional +shots, and some of our people got professionally shot, while a great +many more visited Death by the doctor's road, and almost all who +visited him not, got uncommonly well shaken. + +South Beeveland ultimately became our head-quarters. It is a fine +island, and very fertile, yielding about forty bushels of frogs an +acre, and tadpoles enough to fence it with. We were there under the +command of General W. Stewart, whose active mind, continually in search +of improvement, led him to try (in imitation of some foreign customs) +to saddle the backs of the officers with knapsacks, by way of adding to +their comfort; for he proved to demonstration that if an officer had a +clean shirt in his knapsack on his back, that he might have it to put +on at the end of his day's march; whereas, if he had it not on his own +back, it might be left too far back to be of use to him when wanted. + +This was a fact not to be disputed, but so wedded were we to ancient +prejudices that we remained convinced that the shirt actually in wear, +with all its additions at the end of an extra day or two, must still +weigh less than the knapsack with a shirt in it; and upon those grounds +we made a successful kick, and threw them off, not, however, until an +experimental field-day had been ordered to establish them. The order +required that each officer should parade in a knapsack, or something +answering the same purpose, and it was amusing enough to see the +expedients resorted to, to evade, without committing a direct breach of +it. I remember that my apology for one on that occasion was slinging an +empty black oil-skin haversack knapsack-ways, which looked so much like +a newly-lanced blister on my back that it made both the vraws and the +frogs stare. The attempt was never repeated. + +What a singular change did a short residence in that pestiferous place +work in the appearance of our army! It was with our regiment as with +others; one month saw us embark a thousand men at Deal, in the highest +health and spirits, and the next month saw us land, at the same place, +with about seven hundred men, carrying to hospital, or staggering under +disease. + +I cannot shake off that celebrated Walcheren fever without mentioning +what may or may not be a peculiarity in it;--that a brother-officer +and I experienced a return of it within a day of each other, after a +lapse of five years, and again, within a week, after the lapse of the +following three years. + +As my heart had embarked for the Peninsula with the 1st battalion, +although my body (for the reasons given) remained behind for a year, +I shall, with the reader's permission, follow the first, as being in +the more interesting position of the two; and although, under these +circumstances, I am not permitted to speak in the first person singular +until the two shall be again united, yet whatever I do speak of I have +heard so often and so well authenticated, that I am enabled to give it +with the same confidence as if I had been an eye-witness. + + +"A LAY OF LOVE FOR LADY BRIGHT." + +Lisbon was doubtless as rich in abominations now as it was a year +after, without any other redeeming virtue, which is a very ugly +commencement to a tale of love; but having landed my reader a second +time at the same place, I am anxious to relieve him from the fear of +being treated to a second edition of the same story, and to assure him +that my head-piece has been some time charged with fresh ammunition and +I mean to discharge it now, to prevent its getting rusty. I intend to +fight those battles only that I never fought before, galloping over the +ground lightly, and merely halting to give a little of my conversation, +such as it is, whenever I have anything new to tell; and as I have +no idea of enduring the fatigues of the march to Talavera, nor the +pleasures of fattening on the dinners of chopped straw which followed +it, I shall leave my regiment to its fate until its return to the north +of Portugal, and take advantage of the repose it affords to make my +editorial bow with all due deference to my fair and lovely readers, +to express my joy that I have been once more enabled to put myself in +communion with them, and to assure them of my continued unbounded love +and admiration, for I feel and have ever felt that the man who gave +frailty the name of woman was a blockhead, and must have been smarting +under some unsuccessful bit of the tender, for I have met her in the +bower and in the battle, and have ever found her alike admirable in +both! That old fool Shakspeare, too, having only a man's courage to +meet a sprite with! Had he but told Macbeth to dare as woman dared, he +would have seen the ghost of Banquo vanish into the witches' kettle in +the twinkling of a wheelbarrow; for although I have never seen a woman +kick the bucket, I have certainly seen her kick every thing else, and +in fact there is nothing in the heroics that I have not seen her do. +See her again when she descends into herself, and it is very odd if I +have not seen her there too! for no man has ever been so often or so +deep in love as I have--my poor heart has been lacerated, torn, and +finally scorched until it is withered up like a roasted potato with +scarcely the size of a kiss left. + +How it was that I did not find myself dangling at a door-post by the +end of a silk handkerchief some odd morning is to me astonishing, but +here I am, living and loving still as fondly as ever. Prudence at this +moment whispers that I have said enough for the present, for if I go +on making love so fiercely thus early in the day, I shall be forced +to marry the whole sex and bring my book to a premature conclusion, +for which posterity would never forgive me. I must therefore for the +present take a most reluctant leave, with a promise of renewing my +courtship from time to time as opportunities offer, if they will but +good-naturedly follow me through the various scenes into which I am +about to conduct them; and while I do my best to amuse them by the +way, should I unintentionally dive so deeply into the pathetic as to +beguile them of a tear, let me recommend them to wipe it away, for it +is only their smiles I court. + +While on the way to join the light division on the northern frontier, +I shall take the opportunity of introducing the reader to their +celebrated commander, the late Major-General Robert Crawfurd, an +officer who, for a length of time, was better known than liked, but +like many a gem of purer ray his value was scarcely known until lost. + + + + +CHAP. IV. + + Shewing how generals may descend upon particulars with a + cat-o'-nine tails. Some extra Tales added. Historical, Comical, + and Warlike all. + + +Crawfurd was no common character. He, like a gallant cotemporary +of his, was not born to be a great general, but he certainly was a +distinguished one,--the history of his division and the position +which he held beyond the Coa in 1810, attest the fact. He had neither +judgement, temper, nor discretion to fit him for a chief, and as a +subordinate he required to be held with a tight rein, but his talents +as a general of division were nevertheless of the first order. He +received the three British regiments under his command, finished by +the hands of a master in the art, Sir John Moore, and, as regiments, +they were faultless; but to Crawfurd belonged the chief merit of making +them the war brigade which they became, alike the admiration of their +friends and foes. How he made them so I am about to show, but how such +another is to be made now that his system has fallen into disrepute, +will be for futurity to determine. + +I think I see a regiment of those writers who are just now taking +the cat by the tail, parading for a day's march under that immortal +chief--that he furnishes them with an ink-bottle for a canteen, fills +their knapsacks with foolscap, their mouths with mouldy biscuit, and +starts them off with sloped pens. They go along with the buoyancy of +a corps of reporters reconnoitring for a memorandum, and they very +quickly catch one and a Tartar to the bargain, for the monotony of the +road is relieved by the crossing of a fine broad stream, and over the +stream is a very fine plank to preserve the polish of Warren's jet on +the feet of the pedestrian--they all jump gaily towards the plank, but +they are pulled up by a grim gentleman with a drawn sword, who, with a +voice of thunder, desires them to keep their ranks and march through +the stream. Well! this is all mighty pleasant, but now that they are up +to their middles in the water, there surely can be no harm in stopping +half a minute to lave a few handfuls of it into their parched mouths. +I think I see the astonishment of their editorial nerves when they +find a dozen lashes well bestowed _a posteriori_ upon each, by way of +their further refreshment and clearing off scores for that portion of +the day's work (for the General was a man who gave no credit on those +occasions). He had borrowed a leaf from the history of the land-crabs, +and suffered neither mire nor water to disturb the order of his march +with impunity. + +Now I daresay he would have had to flog an editor a dozen times before +he had satisfied him that it was to his advantage; but a soldier is +open to conviction, and such was the manner of making one of the finest +and most effective divisions that that or any other army ever saw. + +Where soldiers are to be ruled, there is more logic in nine tails of a +cat than in the mouths of a hundred orators; it requires very little +argument to prove, and I'll defy the most eloquent preacher, (with the +unknown tongue to boot,) to persuade a regiment to ford a river where +there is a bridge to conduct them over dry-shod, or to prevent them +drinking when they are in that river if they happen to feel thirsty, +let him promise them what he will as a reward for their obedience. It +is like preaching to his own flock on the subject of their eternal +welfare (and I make the comparison with all due reverence); they +would all gladly arrive at the end he aims at, but at the same time +how few will take the necessary steps to do so, and how many prefer +their momentary present enjoyment? So it was with the soldiers, but +with this difference, that Crawfurd's cat forced them to take the +right road whether they would or no, and the experiment once made +carried conviction with it, that the comfort of every individual +in the division materially depended on the rigid exaction of his +orders, for he shewed that on every ordinary march he made it a rule +to halt for a few minutes every third or fourth mile, (dependent on +the vicinity of water,) that every soldier carried a canteen capable +of containing two quarts, and that if he only took the trouble to +fill it before starting, and again, if necessary, at every halt, it +contained more than he would or ought to drink in the interim; and that +therefore every pause he made in a river for the purpose of drinking +was disorderly, because a man stopping to drink delayed the one behind +him proportionately longer, and so on progressively to the rear of the +column. + +In like manner the filing past dirty or marshy parts of the road in +place of marching boldly through them or filing over a plank or narrow +bridge in place of taking the river with the full front of their column +in march, he proved to demonstration on true mathematical principles, +that with the numbers of those obstacles usually encountered on a +day's march, it made a difference of several hours in their arrival at +their bivouac for the night. That in indulging by the way, they were +that much longer labouring under their load of arms, ammunition, and +necessaries, besides bringing them to their bivouac in darkness and +discomfort; it very likely, too, got them thoroughly drenched with +rain, when the sole cause of their delay had been to avoid a partial +wetting, which would have been long since dried while seated at ease +around their camp-fires; and if this does not redeem Crawfurd and his +cat, I give it up. + +The general and his divisional code, as already hinted at, was at first +much disliked; probably, he enforced it, in the first instance, with +unnecessary severity, and it was long before those under him could rid +themselves of that feeling of oppression which it had inculcated upon +their minds. It is due, however, to the memory of the gallant general +to say that punishment for those disorders was rarely necessary after +the first campaign; for the system, once established, went on like +clock-work, and the soldiers latterly became devotedly attached to him; +for while he exacted from them the most rigid obedience, he was, on +his own part, keenly alive to every thing they had a right to expect +from him in return, and woe befel the commissary who failed to give a +satisfactory reason for any deficiencies in his issues. It is stated +that one of them went to the commander-in-chief to complain that he had +been unable to procure bread for the light division, and that General +Crawfurd had threatened that if they were not supplied within a given +time, he would put him in the guard-house. "Did he?" said his lordship; +"then I would recommend you to find the bread, for if he said so, by +----, he'll do it!" + +Having in this chapter flogged every man who had any shadow of claim to +such a distinction, I shall now proceed and place myself along with my +regiment to see that they prove themselves worthy of the _pains_ taken +in their instruction. + +From the position which the light division then held, their commander +must have been fully satisfied in his own mind that their military +education had not been neglected, for _certes_ it required every man +to be furnished with a clear head, a bold heart, and a clean pair of +heels--all three being liable to be put in requisition at any hour by +day or night. It was no place for reefing topsails and making all snug, +but one which required the crew to be constantly at quarters; for, +unlike their nautical brethren, the nearer a soldier's shoulders are to +the rocks the less liable he is to be wrecked--and there they had more +than enough of play in occupying a front of twenty-five miles with that +small division and some cavalry. The chief of the 1st German hussars +meeting our commandant one morning, "Well, Colonel," says the gallant +German in broken English, "how you do?" "O, tolerably well, thank you, +considering that I am obliged to sleep with one eye open." "By Gott," +says the other, "I never sleeps at all." + +Colonel Beckwith at this time held the pass of Barba del Puerco with +four companies of the Rifles, and very soon experienced the advantage +of having an eye alive, for he had some active neighbours on the +opposite side of the river who had determined to beat up his quarters +by way of ascertaining the fact. + +The _Padrè_ of the village, it appeared, was a sort of vicar of Bray, +who gave information to both sides so long as accounts remained pretty +equally balanced between them, but when the advance of the French +army for the subjugation of Portugal became a matter of certainty, he +immediately chose that which seemed to be the strongest, and it was not +ours. + +The _Padrè_ was a famous hand over a glass of grog, and where +amusements were so scarce, it was good fun for our youngsters to make a +_Padrè_ glorious, which they took every opportunity of doing; and as is +not unusual with persons in that state, (laymen as well as _Padrès_,) +he invariably fancied himself the only sober man of the party, so that +the report was conscientiously given when he went over to the French +General Ferey, who commanded the division opposite, and staked his +reputation as a _Padrè_, that the English officers in his village were +in the habit of getting blind drunk every night, and that he had only +to march over at midnight to secure them almost without resistance. + +Ferey was a bold enterprising soldier, (I saw his body in death after +the battle of Salamanca); he knew to a man the force of the English +in the village, and probably did not look upon the attempt as very +desperate were they even at their posts ready to receive him; but +as the chances seemed to be in favour of every enemy's head being +"nailed to his pillow," the opportunity was not to be resisted, and +accordingly, at midnight on the 19th of March, he assembled his force +silently at the end of the bridge. The shadows of the rocks which +the rising moon had just cast over the place prevented their being +seen, and the continuous roar of the mountain torrent, which divided +them, prevented their being heard even by our double sentry posted +at the other end of the bridge within a few yards of them. Leaving a +powerful support to cover his retreat in the event of a reverse, Ferey +at the head of six hundred chosen grenadiers burst forth so silently +and suddenly, that, of our double sentry on the bridge, the one was +taken and the other bayonetted without being able to fire off their +pieces. A sergeant's party higher up among the rocks had just time to +fire off as an alarm, and even the remainder of the company on picquet +under O'Hare had barely time to jump up and snatch their rifles when +the enemy were among them. O'Hare's men, however, though borne back +and unable to stop them for an instant, behaved nobly, retiring in +a continued hand-to-hand personal encounter with their foes to the +top of the pass, when the remaining companies under Sidney Beckwith +having just started from their sleep, rushed forward to their support, +and with a thundering discharge, tumbled the attacking column into +the ravine below, where, passing the bridge under cover of the fire +of their supporting body, they resumed their former position, minus +a considerable number of their best and bravest. The colonel, while +urging the fight, observed a Frenchman within a yard or two, taking +deliberate aim at his head. Stooping suddenly down and picking up a +stone, he immediately shyed it at him, calling him at the same time +a "scoundrel, to get out of that." It so far distracted the fellow's +attention that while the gallant Beckwith's cap was blown to atoms, the +head remained untouched. + +The whole concern was but the affair of a few minutes, but we +nevertheless looked upon it as no inconsiderable addition to our +regimental feather, for the appointed alarm post of one of the +companies had carried it to a place where it happened that they were +not wanted, so that there were but three companies actually engaged; +and therefore with something less than half their numbers they had +beaten off six hundred of the _élite_ of the French army. But our chief +pride arose from its being the first and last night-attempt which the +enemy ever made to surprise a British post in that army. + +Of the worthy pastor I never heard more--I know not whether the bold +Ferey paid the price of the information he had brought, in gold, or +with an ounce of lead; but certain it is that his flock were without +ghostly consolation during the remainder of our sojourn--not that it +was much sought after at that particular time, for the village damsels +had already begun running up a score of _peccadillos_, and it was of +little use attempting to wipe it out until the final departure of their +heretical visitors. + +Among the wounded who were left on the field by the enemy, there was a +French sergeant whom I have often heard our officers speak of with much +admiration--he was a fine handsome young fellow, alike romantic in his +bravery, and in devotion to his emperor and his country--he had come +on with the determination to conquer or to die, and having failed in +the first, he seemed resolved not to be balked in the other, which a +ball through a bad part of the thigh had placed him in the high road +for, and he, therefore, resisted every attempt to save him, with the +utmost indignation, claiming it as a matter of right to be allowed to +die on the field where he had fallen. Our good, honest, rough diamonds, +however, who were employed in collecting the wounded, were equally +determined that the point in dispute should only be settled between him +and the doctor in the proper place, and accordingly they shouldered him +off to the hospital whether he would or no. But even there he continued +as untameable as a hyena--his limb was in such a state that nothing but +amputation could save his life--yet nothing would induce him to consent +to it--he had courage to endure any thing, but nothing could reconcile +him to receive any thing but blows from his enemies. I forget how, or +in what way, the amputation of the limb was at length accomplished. To +the best of my recollection death had already laid a hand upon him, +and it was done while he was in a state of insensibility. But be that +as it may, it was done, and the danger and the fit of heroics having +travelled with the departed limb, he lived to thank his preservers +for the brotherly kindness he had experienced at their hands, and +took a grateful and affectionate farewell of them when his health was +sufficiently restored to permit his being removed to the care of his +countrymen. + +Shortly after this affair at Barba del Puerco the French army under +Massena came down upon Ciudad Rodrigo, preparatory to the invasion of +Portugal, and obliged the light division to take up a more concentrated +position. + +It is not my intention to take notice of the movements of the army +further than is necessary to illustrate the anecdotes I relate; but +I cannot, on this occasion, resist borrowing a leaf out of Napier's +admirable work, to shew the remarkable state of discipline which those +troops had been brought to--for while I have no small portion of +personal vanity to gratify in recording the fact of my having been for +many years after an associate in all the enterprises of that gallant +band, I consider it more particularly a duty which every military +writer owes to posterity, (be his pretensions great or humble,) to shew +what may be effected in that profession by diligence and perseverance. + +The light division, and the cavalry attached to it, was at this period +so far in advance of every other part of the army that their safety +depended on themselves alone, for they were altogether beyond the reach +of human aid--their force consisted of about four thousand infantry, +twelve hundred cavalry, and a brigade of horse artillery--and yet +with this small force did Crawfurd, trusting to his own admirable +arrangements, and the surprising discipline of his troops, maintain +a position which was no position, for three months, within an hour's +march of six thousand horsemen, and two hours' march from sixty +thousand infantry, of a brave, experienced, and enterprising enemy, who +was advancing in the confidence of certain victory. + +Napier says, "His situation demanded a quickness and intelligence in +the troops, the like of which has seldom been known. Seven minutes +sufficed for the division to get under arms in the middle of the +night, and a quarter of an hour, night or day, to bring it in order of +battle to the alarm posts, with the baggage loaded and assembled at a +convenient distance in the rear. And this not upon a concerted signal, +or as a trial, but at all times, and certain!" + + "In peace love tunes the shepherd's reed; + In war he mounts the warrior's steed." + +And thus, in humble imitation of her master-man, did Mother Coleman, +one fine morning, mount her donkey, and join her French lover to war +against her lord. + +While the troops of the light division, as already noticed, were +strutting about with the consciousness of surpassing excellence, +menacing and insulting a foe for which their persons' knapsacks and all +would barely have sufficed for a luncheon--a dish of mortification was +served up for those of our corps, by the hands of their better half, +which was not easy of digestion. To speak of the wife of a regiment +is so very unusual as to imply that she must have been some very +great personage--and without depriving her of the advantage of such a +magnificent idea, I shall only say that she was the only wife they had +got--for they landed at Lisbon with eleven hundred men and only one +woman. + +By what particular virtues she had attained such a dignified position +among them, I never clearly made out, further than that she had arrived +at years of discretion, was what is commonly called a useful woman, and +had seen some service. She was the wife of a sturdy German, who plyed +in the art of shoemaking, whenever his duties in the field permitted +him to resort to that species of amusement, so that it appeared that +she had beauty enough to captivate a cobbler, she had money enough +to command the services of a jackass, and finally she proved she +had wit enough to sell us all, which she did the first favourable +opportunity--for, after plying for some months at the tail of her +donkey at the tail of the regiment, and fishing in all the loose +dollars which were floating about in gentlemen's pockets, (by those +winning ways which ladies know so well how to use when such favourable +opportunities offer,) she finally bolted off to the enemy, bag and +baggage, carrying away old Coleman's all and awl. + +It was one of those French leave-takings which man is heir to, but we +eventually got over it, under the deepest obligation all the time for +the sympathy manifested by our friends of the 43d and 52d. + +The movements of the enemy were at length unshackled by the fall of +Ciudad Rodrigo, after a desperate defence, which gave immortal glory to +its old governor Herrasti, and his brave Spanish garrison--and although +it may appear that I am saying one word in honour of the Spaniards +for the purpose of giving two to the British, yet my feelings are too +national to permit me to pass over a fact which redounds so much to +the glory of our military history--namely, that in this, the year +1810, the French were six weeks in wresting from the Spaniards the same +fortress which we, in the year 1812, carried, with fire and sword, out +of the hands of the French in eleven days! + +Now that the enemy's movements were unshackled, the cloud, which for +months had been gathering over Portugal, began to burst--and, sharp as +Crawfurd and his division looked before, it now behoved them to look +somewhat sharper. Had he acted in conformity with his instructions, +he had long ere this been behind the Coa, but deeply enamoured of his +separate command as ever youth was of his mistress, he seemed resolved +that nothing but force should part them; and having gradually given +ground, as necessity compelled, the 23d of July found him with his +back on the river, and his left resting on the fortress of Almeida, +determined to abide a battle, with about five thousand men of all arms +to oppose the whole French army. + +I shall leave to abler pens the description of the action that +followed, and which (as might have been foreseen, while it was highly +honourable to the officers and troops engaged) ended in their being +driven across the Coa with a severe loss. My business is with a youth +who had the day before joined the division. The history of his next +day's adventure has beguiled me of many a hearty laugh, and although +I despair of being able to communicate it to my readers with any +thing like the humour with which I received it from an amiable and +gallant friend, yet I cannot resist giving it such as it rests on my +remembrance. + +Mr. Rogers, as already stated, had, the day before, arrived from +England, as an officer of one of the civil departments attached to the +light division, and as might be expected on finding himself all at +once up with the outposts of the army, he was full of curiosity and +excitement. Equipped in a huge cocked hat, and a hermaphrodite sort +of scarlet coat, half military and half civil, he was dancing about +with his budget of inquiries, when chance threw him in the way of the +gallant and lamented Jock Mac Culloch, at the time a lieutenant in the +Rifles, and who was in the act of marching off a company to relieve one +of the picquets for the night. + +Mac Culloch, full of humour, seeing the curiosity of the fresh arrival, +said, "Come, Rogers, my boy, come along with me, you shall share my +beefsteak, you shall share my boat-cloak, and it will go hard with me +but you shall see a Frenchman, too, before we part in the morning." + +The invitation was not to be resisted, and away went Rogers on the spur +of the moment. + +The night turned out a regular Tam o'Shanter's night, or, if the reader +pleases, a Wellington night, for it is a singular fact that almost +every one of his battles was preceded by such a night;--the thunder +rolled, the lightning flashed, and all the fire-engines in the world +seemed playing upon the lightning, and the devoted heads of those +exposed to it. It was a sort of night that was well calculated to be +a damper to a bolder spirit than the one whose story I am relating; +but he, nevertheless, sheltered himself as he best could, under the +veteran's cloak, and put as good a face upon it as circumstances would +permit. + +As usual, an hour before day-break, Mac Culloch, resigning the +boat-cloak to his dosing companion, stood to his arms, to be ready for +whatever changes daylight might have in store for him: nor had he to +wait long, for day had just begun to dawn when the sharp crack from +the rifle of one of the advanced sentries announced the approach of +the enemy, and he had just time to counsel his terrified bedfellow +to make the best of his way back to the division, while he himself +awaited to do battle. Nor had he much time for preparation, for, as +Napier says, "Ney, seeing Crawfurd's false dispositions, came down +upon them with the stoop of an eagle. Four thousand horsemen, and a +powerful artillery, swept the plain, and Loison's division coming up +at a charging pace, made towards the centre and left of the position." +Mac Culloch, almost instantly, received several bad sabre wounds, and, +with five-and-twenty of his men, was taken prisoner. + +Rogers, it may be believed, lost no time in following the salutary +counsel he had received with as clever a pair of heels as he could +muster. The enemy's artillery had by this time opened, and, as the +devil would have it, the cannon-balls were travelling the same road, +and tearing up the ground on each side of him almost as regularly as +if it had been a ploughing match. Poor Rogers was thus placed in a +situation which fully justified him in thinking, as most young soldiers +do, that every ball was aimed at himself. He was half distracted; it +was certain death to stop where he was, neither flank offered him the +smallest shelter, and he had not wind enough left in his bellows to +clear the tenth part of the space between him and comparative safety; +but, where life is at stake, the imagination is fertile, and it +immediately occurred to him that by dowsing the cocked hat he would +make himself a less conspicuous object; clapping it, accordingly +under his arm, he continued his frightful career, with the feelings +of a maniac and the politeness of a courtier, for to every missile +that passed he bowed as low as his racing attitude would permit, in +ignorance that the danger had passed along with it, performing, to all +appearance, a continued rotatory sort of evolution, as if the sails of +a windmill had parted from the building, and continued their course +across the plain, to the utter astonishment of all who saw him. At +length, when exhausted nature could not have carried him twenty yards +further, he found himself among some skirmishers of the 3d Caçadores, +and within a few yards of a rocky ridge, rising out of the ground, the +rear of which seemed to offer him the long-hoped-for opportunity of +recovering his wind, and he sheltered himself accordingly. + +This happened to be the first occasion in which the Caçadores had been +under fire; they had the highest respect for the bravery of their +British officers, and had willingly followed where their colonel had +led; but having followed him into the field, they did not see why +they should not follow another out of it, and when they saw a red coat +take post behind a rock, they all immediately rushed to take advantage +of the same cover. Poor Rogers had not, therefore, drawn his first +breath when he found himself surrounded by these Portuguese warriors, +nor had he drawn a second before their colonel (Sir George Elder) rode +furiously at him with his drawn sword, exclaiming "who are you, you +scoundrel, in the uniform of a British officer, setting an example of +cowardice to my men? get out of that instantly, or I'll cut you down!" + +Rogers's case was desperate--he had no breath left to explain that he +had no pretensions to the honour of being an officer, for he would have +been cut down in the act of attempting it: he was, therefore, once +more forced to start for another heat with the round shot, and, like a +hunted devil, got across the bridge, he knew not how; but he was helm +up for England the same day, and the army never saw him more. + +General Crawfurd's conduct in the affair alluded to, would argue that +his usual soldier-like wits had gone a wool-gathering for the time +being--he had, in fact, like a moth, been fluttering so long with +impunity around a consuming power that he had at length lost all sense +of the danger. But even then it is impossible to conceive upon what +principle he took up the position he did--for, in the first place, it +was in direct defiance of Lord Wellington's orders; and had the river +behind him been flowing with milk and honey, or had the rugged bank on +which he was posted been built of loaves and fishes, it would scarcely +have justified him in running the risk he did to preserve the sweets; +but as the one was flooded with muddy water, and the other only bearing +a crop of common stones, and when we consider, too, that the simple +passing of the river would have made a hundred of his troops equal to a +thousand of the invaders, we must continue lost in wonder. + +It is difficult to imagine, however, that he ever contemplated the +possibility of stopping the French army but for the moment. Confiding, +probably, in the superiority of his troops, he had calculated on +successfully repelling their first attack, and that having thus taught +them the respect that was due to him, he might then have made a +triumphant retreat to the opposite bank, where, for a time, he could +safely have offered them further defiance. + +If such was his object, (and it is the only plausible one I can find,) +he had altogether overlooked that for a man with one pair of arms to +grapple with another who had ten, it must rest with the ten-pair man to +say when the play is over, for although the one-pair man may disable an +equal number in his front, there are still nine pair left to poke him +in the sides and all round about; and thus the general found it; for +having once exposed himself to such overwhelming numbers, there was no +getting out of it but at a large sacrifice--and but for the experience, +the confidence, and the devotion of the different individual battalion +officers, seconded by the gallantry of the soldiers, the division had +been utterly annihilated. Napier, as an eye-witness, states, (what +I have often heard repeated by other officers who were there,) that +"there was no room to array the line, no time for any thing but battle, +every captain carried off his company as an independent body, and +joining as he could with the ninety-fifth or fifty-second, the whole +presented a mass of skirmishers acting in small parties, and under no +regular command, yet each confident in the courage and discipline of +those on his right and left, and all regulating their movements by a +common discretion, and keeping together with surprising vigour." + +The result of the action was a loss on the British portion of the +division of two hundred and seventy-two, including twenty-eight +officers, killed, wounded, and taken. + +It is curious to observe by what singular interpositions of Providence +the lives of individuals are spared. One of our officers happening +to have a pocket-volume of Gil Blas, was in the middle of one of his +interesting stories when the action commenced. Not choosing to throw +it away, he thrust it into the breast of his jacket for want of a +better place, and in the course of the day it received a musket-ball +which had been meant for a more tender subject. The volume was +afterwards, of course, treated as a tried friend. + +Having, in one of the foregoing pages, introduced the name of Mac +Culloch in a prominent part of the action, I must be forgiven for +taking this opportunity of following him to the end of his highly +honourable earthly career. + +John Mac Culloch was from Scotland, (a native, I believe, of +Kirkudbright;) he was young, handsome, athletic, and active; with the +meekness of a lamb, he had the heart of a lion, and was the delight of +every one. At the time I first became acquainted with him he had been +several years in the regiment, and had shared in all the vicissitudes +of the restless life they then led. I brought him under the notice of +the reader in marching off to relieve the advanced picquet on the night +prior to the action of the Coa. + +For the information of those who are unacquainted with military +matters, I may as well mention that the command of an outline picquet +is never an enviable one--it is a situation at all times dangerous and +open to disgrace, but seldom to honour--for come what may, in the event +of an attack spiritedly made, the picquet is almost sure to go to the +wall. From the manner in which the French approached on the occasion +referred to, it may readily be imagined that my gallant friend had but +little chance of escape--it was, therefore, only left to him to do his +duty as an officer under the circumstances in which he was placed. He +gave the alarm, and he gave his visitors as warm a reception as his +fifty rifles could provide for them, while he gallantly endeavoured to +fight his way back to his battalion, but the attempt was hopeless; the +cavalry alone of the enemy ought to have been more than enough to sweep +the whole of the division off the face of the earth--and Mac Culloch's +small party had no chance; they were galloped into, and he, himself, +after being lanced and sabred in many places, was obliged to surrender. + +Mac Culloch refused to give his parole, in the hope of being able +to effect his escape before he reached the French frontier; he was, +therefore, marched along with the men a close prisoner as far as +Valladolid, where fortune, which ever favours the brave, did not fail +him. The escort had found it necessary to halt there for some days, and +Mac Culloch having gained the goodwill of his conductor, was placed in +a private house under proper security, as they thought; but in this +said house there happened to be a young lady, and of what avail are +walls of brass, bolts, bars, or iron doors, when a lady is concerned? +She quickly put herself in communion with the handsome prisoner--made +herself acquainted with his history, name, and country, and as quickly +communicated it, as well as her plans for his escape, to a very worthy +countryman of his, at that time a professor in one of the universities +there. Need I say more than that before many hours had passed over his +head, he found himself equipped in the costume of a Spanish peasant, +the necessary quantity of dollars in his pocket, and a kiss on each +cheek burning hot from the lips of his preserver, on the high road to +rejoin his battalion, where he arrived in due course of time, to the +great joy of every body--Lord Wellington himself was not the least +delighted of the party, and kindly invited him to dine with him that +day, in the _costume_ in which he had arrived. + +Mac Culloch continued to serve with us until Massena's retreat from +Portugal, when, in a skirmish which took place on the evening of the +15th of March, 1811, I, myself, got a crack on the head which laid +me under a tree, with my understanding considerably bothered for the +night, and I was sorry to find, as my next neighbour, poor Mac Culloch, +with an excruciatingly painful and bad wound in the shoulder joint, +which deprived him of the use of one arm for life, and obliged him to +return to England for the recovery of health. + +In the meantime, by the regular course of promotion, he received his +company, which transferred him to the 2d battalion, and, serving with +it at the battle of Waterloo, he lost his sound arm by one of the last +shots that was fired in that bloody field. + +As soon as he had recovered from this last wound he rejoined us in +Paris, and, presenting himself before the Duke of Wellington in his +usual straightforward manly way, said, "Here I am, my Lord; I have +no longer an arm left to wield for my country, but I still wish to +be allowed to serve it as I best can!" The Duke duly appreciated the +diamond before him, and as there were several captains in the regiment +senior to Mac Culloch, his Grace, with due regard to their feelings, +desired the commanding officer to ascertain whether they would not +consider it a cause of complaint if Mac Culloch were recommended for +a brevet majority, as it was out of his power to do it for every one, +and, to the honour of all concerned, there was not a dissentient voice. +He, therefore, succeeded to the brevet, and was afterwards promoted to +a majority, I think, in a veteran battalion. + +He was soon after on a visit in London, living at a hotel, when one +afternoon he was taken suddenly ill; the feeling to him was an unusual +one, and he immediately sent for a physician, and told him that he +cared not for the consequences, but insisted on having his candid +opinion on his case. + +The medical man accordingly told him at once that his case was an +extraordinary one--that he might within an hour or two recover from it, +or within an hour or two he might be no more. + +Mac Culloch, with his usual coolness, gave a few directions as to +the future, and calmly awaited the result, which terminated fatally +within the time predicted--and thus perished, in the prime of life, the +gallant Mac Culloch, who was alike an honour to his country and his +profession. + + + + +CHAP. V. + + The paying of a French compliment, which will be repaid in a + future chapter. A fierce attack upon hairs. A niece compliment, + and lessons gratis to untaught sword-bearers. + + +After the action of the Coa the enemy quickly possessed themselves of +the fortress of Almeida, when there remained nothing between Massena +and his kingdom but the simple article of Lord Wellington's army, of +which he calculated he would be able to superintend the embarkation +within the time requisite for his infantry to march to Lisbon. He +therefore put his legions in motion to pay his distinguished adversary +that last mark of respect. + +The Wellingtonians retired slowly before them shewing their teeth as +often as favourable opportunities offered, and several bitter bites +they gave before they turned at bay--first on the heights of Busaco, +and finally and effectually on those of Torres Vedras. + +The troops of all arms composing the rear guard conducted themselves +admirably throughout the whole of that retreat, for although the enemy +did not press them so much as they might have done, yet they were at +all times in close contact, and many times in actual combat, and it +was impossible to say which was the most distinguished--the splendid +service of the horse artillery, the dashing conduct of the dragoons, or +the unconquerable steadiness and bravery of the infantry. + +It was a sort of military academy which is not open for instruction +every day in the year, nor was it one which every fond mamma would +choose to send her darling boy to, calculated although it was to lead +to _immortal_ honours. A youngster (if he did not stop a bullet by the +way) might commence his studies in such a place with nothing but "the +soft down peeping through the white skin," and be entitled to the +respect due to a beard or a bald head before he saw the end of it. + +It is curious to remark how fashions change and how the change affects +the valour of the man too. The dragoon since the close of the war +has worn all his hair below the head and none on the top it, and how +fiercely he fought in defence of his whiskers the other day when some +of the regiments were ordered to be shaved, as if the debility of +Samson was likely to be the result of the operation. My stars! but I +should be glad to know what the old royal _heavies_ or fourteenth and +sixteenth _lights_ cared about hairs at the period I speak of, when +with their bare faces they went boldly in and bearded muzzles that +seemed fenced with furze bushes; and while it was "damned be he who +first cries hold--enough!" they did hold enough too, sometimes bringing +in every man his bird, mustachoes and all. In those days they seemed +to put more faith in their good right hand than in a cart-load of +whiskers, for with it and their open English countenances they carved +for themselves a name as British dragoons, which they were too proud to +barter for any other. + +Every attempt at rearing a _moustache_ among the British in those days +was treated with sovereign contempt, no matter how aristocratic the +soil on which it was sown. But, to do justice to _every body_, I must +say that, to the best of my recollection, a crop was seldom seen but on +the lips of _nobodies_. + +It was in the course of this retreat, as I mentioned in a former work, +that I first joined Lord Wellington's army, and I remember being +remarkably struck with the order, the confidence, and the daring spirit +which seemed to animate all ranks of those among whom it was my good +fortune to be cast. Their confidence in their illustrious chief was +unbounded, and they seemed to feel satisfied that it only rested with +him any day to say to his opponent, "thus far shalt thou come but no +farther;" and if a doubt on the subject had rested with any one before, +the battle of Busaco removed it, for the Portuguese troops having +succeeded in beating their man, it confirmed them in their own good +opinion, and gave increased confidence to the whole allied army. + +I am now treading on the heels of my former narrative, and although it +did not include the field of Busaco, yet, as I have already stated, +it is foreign to my present purpose to enter into any details of the +actions in which we were engaged, further than they may serve to +illustrate such anecdotes as appear to me to be likely to amuse the +reader. I shall therefore pass over the present one, merely remarking +that to a military man, one of the most interesting spectacles which +took place there, was the light division taking up their ground the +day before in the face of the enemy. They had remained too long in +their advanced position on the morning of the 25th of September while +the enemy's masses were gathering around them; but Lord Wellington +fortunately came up before they were too far committed and put them in +immediate retreat under his own personal direction. Nor, as Napier +says, "Was there a moment to lose, for the enemy with incredible +rapidity brought up both infantry and guns, and fell on so briskly that +all the skill of the general and the readiness of the excellent troops +composing the rear guard, could scarcely prevent the division from +being dangerously engaged. Howbeit, a series of rapid and beautiful +movements, a sharp cannonade, and an hour's march, brought every thing +back in good order to the great position." + +On the day of the battle (the 27th) the French General Simon, who led +the attack upon our division, was wounded and taken prisoner, and as +they were bringing him in he raved furiously for General Crawfurd, +daring him to single combat, but as he was already a prisoner there +would have been but little wit in indulging him in his humour. + +In the course of the afternoon his baggage was brought in under a +flag of truce, accompanied by a charm to soothe the savage breast, +in the shape of a very beautiful little Spanish girl, who I have no +doubt succeeded in tranquillizing his pugnacious disposition. I know +not what rank she held on his establishment, but conclude that she +was his niece, for I have observed that in Spain the prettiest girl +in every gentleman's house is the niece. The Padrès particularly are +the luckiest fellows in the world in having the handsomest brothers +and sisters of any men living,--not that I have seen the brother or +the sister of any one of them, but then I have seen nine hundred +and ninety-nine Padrès, and each had his niece at the head of his +establishment, and I know not how it happened but she was always the +prettiest girl in the parish. + +It was generally the fate of troops arriving from England, to join the +army at an unhappy period--at a time when easy stages and refreshment +after the voyage was particularly wanted and never to be had. The +marches at this period were harassing and severe, and the company with +which I had just arrived were much distressed to keep pace with the old +campaigners--they made a tolerable scramble for a day or two, but by +the time they arrived at the lines the greater part had been obliged to +be mounted. Nevertheless, when it became Massena's turn to tramp out of +Portugal a few months after, we found them up to their work and with as +few stragglers as the best. Marching is an art to be acquired only by +habit, and one in which the strength or agility of the animal, man, has +but little to do. I have seen Irishmen (and all sorts of countrymen) +in their own country, taken from the plough-tail--huge, athletic, +active fellows, who would think nothing of doing forty or fifty miles +in the course of the day as countrymen--see these men placed in the +rank as recruits with knapsacks on their backs and a musket over their +shoulders, and in the first march they are dead beat before they get +ten miles. + +I have heard many disputes on the comparative campaigning powers +of tall and short men, but as far as my own experience goes I have +never seen any difference. If a tall man happens to break down it is +immediately noticed to the disadvantage of his class, but if the same +misfortune befals a short one, it is not looked upon as being anything +remarkable. The effective powers of both in fact depend upon the nature +of the building. + +The most difficult and at the same time the most important duty to +teach a young soldier on first coming into active service, is how to +take care of himself. It is one which, in the first instance, requires +the unwearied attention of the officer, but he is amply repaid in the +long run, for when the principle is once instilled into him, it is duly +appreciated, and he requires no further trouble. In our battalion, +during the latter years of the war, it was a mere matter of form +inspecting the men on parade, for they knew too well the advantages +of having their arms and ammunition at all times in proper order to +neglect them, so that after several weeks marching and fighting, I have +never seen them on their first ordinary parade after their arrival in +quarters, but they were fit for the most rigid examination of the +greatest Martinet that ever looked through the ranks. The only thing +that required the officers' attention was their necessaries, for as +money was scarce, they were liable to be bartered for strong waters. + +On service as every where else, there is a time for all things, but the +time there being limited and very uncertain, the difficulty is to learn +how to make the most of it. + +The first and most important part lies with the officer, and he cannot +do better than borrow a leaf out of General Crawfurd's book, to learn +how to prevent straggling, and to get his men to the end of their day's +work with the least possible delay. + +The young soldier when he first arrives in camp or bivouac will (unless +forced to do otherwise) always give in to the languor and fatigue which +oppresses him, and fall asleep. He awakens most probably after dark, +cold and comfortless. He would gladly eat some of the undressed meat in +his haversack, but he has no fire on which to cook it. He would gladly +shelter himself in one of the numerous huts which have arisen around +him since he fell asleep, but as he lent no hand in the building he is +thrust out. He attempts at the eleventh hour to do as others have done, +but the time has gone by, for all the materials that were originally +within reach, have already been appropriated by his more active +neighbours, and there is nothing left for him but to pass the remainder +of the night as he best can, in hunger, in cold, and in discomfort, +and he marches before day-light in the morning without having enjoyed +either rest or refreshment. Such is often the fate of young regiments +for a longer period than would be believed, filling the hospitals and +leading to all manner of evils. + +On the other hand, see the old soldiers come to their ground. Let their +feelings of fatigue be great or small, they are no sooner suffered +to leave the ranks than every man rushes to secure whatever the +neighbourhood affords as likely to contribute towards his comfort for +the night. Swords, hatchets, and bill-kooks are to be seen hewing and +hacking at every tree and bush within reach,--huts are quickly reared, +fires are quickly blazing, and while the camp kettle is boiling, +or the pound of beef frying, the tired, but happy souls, are found +toasting their toes around the cheerful blaze, recounting their various +adventures until the fire has done the needful, when they fall on like +men, taking especial care however that whatever their inclinations +may be, they consume no part of the provision which properly belongs +to the morrow. The meal finished, they arrange their accoutrements +in readiness for any emergency, (caring little for the worst that +can befal them for the next twenty-four hours,) when they dispose +themselves for rest, and be their allowance of sleep long or short they +enjoy it, for it does one's heart good to see "the rapture of repose +that's there." + +In actual battle, young soldiers are apt to have a feeling, (from which +many old ones are not exempt,) namely, that they are but insignificant +characters--only a humble individual out of many thousands, and that +his conduct, be it good or bad, can have little influence over the fate +of the day. This is a monstrous mistake, which it ought to be the duty +of every military writer to endeavour to correct; for in battle, as +elsewhere, no man is insignificant unless he chooses to make himself +so. The greater part of the victories on record, I believe, may be +traced to the individual gallantry of a very small portion of the +troops engaged; and if it were possible to take a microscopic view of +that small portion, there is reason to think that the whole of the +glory might be found to rest with a very few individuals. + +Military men in battle may be classed under three disproportionate +heads,--a very small class who consider themselves insignificant--a +very large class who content themselves with doing their duty, without +going beyond it--and a tolerably large class who do their best, many of +which are great men without knowing it. One example in the history of a +private soldier will establish all that I have advanced on the subject. + +In one of the first smart actions that I ever was in, I was a young +officer in command of experienced soldiers, and, therefore, found +myself compelled to be an observer rather than an active leader in +the scene. We were engaged in a very hot skirmish, and had driven the +enemy's light troops for a considerable distance with great rapidity, +when we were at length stopped by some of their regiments in line, +which opened such a terrific fire within a few yards that it obliged +every one to shelter himself as he best could among the inequalities +of the ground and the sprinkling of trees which the place afforded. We +remained inactive for about ten minutes amidst a shower of balls that +seemed to be almost like a hail-storm, and when at the very worst, +when it appeared to me to be certain death to quit the cover, a young +scampish fellow of the name of Priestly, at the adjoining tree, started +out from behind it, saying, "Well! I'll be d----d if I'll be bothered +any longer behind a tree, so here's at you," and with that he banged +off his rifle in the face of his foes, reloading very deliberately, +while every one right and left followed his example, and the enemy, +panic struck, took to their heels without firing another shot. The +action requires no comment, the individual did not seem to be aware +that he had any merit in what he did, but it is nevertheless a valuable +example for those who are disposed to study causes and effects in the +art of war. + +In that same action I saw an amusing instance of the ruling passion +for sport predominating over a soldier; a rifleman near me was in the +act of taking aim at a Frenchman when a hare crossed between them, the +muzzle of the rifle mechanically followed the hare in preference, and, +as she was doubling into our lines, I had just time to strike up the +piece with my sword before he drew the trigger, or he most probably +would have shot one of our own people, for he was so intent upon his +game that he had lost sight of every thing else. + + + + +CHAP. VI. + + Reaping a Horse with a Halter. Reaping golden Opinions out of + a Dung-Hill, and reaping a good Story or two out of the next + Room. A Dog-Hunt and Sheep's Heads prepared at the Expense of a + Dollar each, and a Scotchman's Nose. + + +I have taken so many flights from our line of retreat in search of the +fanciful, that I can only bring my readers back to our actual position, +by repeating the oft told tale that our army pulled up in the lines of +Torres Vedras to await Massena's further pleasure; for, whether he was +to persevere in his intended compliment of seeing us on board ship, or +we were to return it by seeing him out of Portugal again, was still +somewhat doubtful; and, until the point should be decided, we made +ourselves as comfortable as circumstances would permit, and that was +pretty well. + +Every young officer on entering a new stage in his profession, let him +fancy himself ever so acute, is sure to become for a time the _butt_ of +the old hands. I was the latest arrival at the time I speak of, and of +course shared the fate of others, but as the only hoax that I believe +they ever tried upon me, turned out a profitable one, I had less cause +for soreness than falls to the lot of green-horns in general. It +consisted in an officer, famous for his waggery, coming up to me one +morning and mentioning that he had just been taking a ride over a part +of the mountain, (which he pointed out,) where he had seen a wild horse +grazing, and that he had tried hard to catch him, but lamented that he +had been unable to succeed, for that he was a very handsome one! + +As the country abounded in wolves and other wild characters I did not +see why there should not also be wild horses, and, therefore, greedily +swallowed the bait, for I happened not only to be in especial want of +a horse, but of dollars to buy one, and arming myself accordingly with +a halter and the assistance of an active rifleman, I proceeded to the +place, and very quickly converted the wild horse into a tame one! It +was not until a year after that I discovered the hoax by which I had +unwittingly become the stealer of some unfortunate man's horse; but, +in the mean time, it was to the no small mortification of my waggish +friend, that he saw me mounted upon him when we marched a few days +after, for he had anticipated a very different result. + +The saddle which sat between me and the horse on that occasion ought +not to be overlooked, for, take it all in all, I never expect to +see its like again. I found it in our deserted house at Arruda; the +seat was as soft as a pillow, and covered with crimson silk velvet, +beautifully embroidered, and gilt round the edges. I knew not for what +description of rider it had been intended, but I can answer for it that +it was exceedingly comfortable in dry weather, and that in wet it +possessed all the good properties of a sponge, keeping the rider cool +and comfortable. + +While we remained in the lines, there was a small, thatched, +mud-walled, deserted cottage under the hill near our company's post, +which we occasionally used as a shelter from the sun or the rain, +and some of our men in prowling about one day discovered two massive +silver salvers concealed in the thatch. The captain of the company very +properly ordered them to be taken care of, in the hope that their owner +would come to claim them, while the soldiers in the mean time continued +very eager in their researches in the neighbourhood, in expectation of +making further discoveries, in which however they were unsuccessful. +After we had altogether abandoned the cottage, a Portuguese gentleman +arrived one day and told us that he was the owner of the place, and +that he had some plate concealed there which he wished permission to +remove. Captain ---- immediately desired the salvers to be given to +him, concluding that they were what he had come in search of, but on +looking at them he said that they did not belong to him, that what he +wished to remove was concealed under the dunghill, and he accordingly +proceeded there and dug out about a cart load of gold and silver +articles which he carried off, while our unsuccessful searchers stood +by, cursing their mutual understandings which had suffered such a prize +to slip through their fingers, and many an innocent heap of manure was +afterwards torn to pieces in consequence of that morning's lesson. + +Massena having abandoned his desolated position in the early part of +November, the fifteenth of that month saw me seated on my cloth of +crimson and gold, taking a look at the French rear guard, which, under +Junot, was in position between Cartaxo and El Valle. A cool November +breeze whistled through an empty stomach, which the gilded outside was +insufficient to satisfy. Our chief of division was red hot to send +us over to warm ourselves with the French fires, and had absolutely +commenced the movement when the opportune arrival of Lord Wellington +put a stop to it; for, as it was afterwards discovered, we should have +burnt our fingers. + +While we therefore awaited further orders on the road side, I was +amused to see General Slade, who commanded the brigade of cavalry +attached to us, order up his sumpter mule, and borrowing our doctor's +medical panniers, which he placed in the middle of the road by way +of a table, he, with the assistance of his orderly dragoon, undid +several packages, and presently displayed a set-out which was more +than enough to tempt the cupidity of the hungry beholders, consisting +of an honest-looking loaf of bread, a thundering large tongue, and the +fag end of a ham--a bottle of porter, and half a one of brandy. The +bill of fare is still as legibly written on my remembrance as on the +day that I first saw it--for such things cannot be, and overcome us +like the vision of a Christmas feast, without especial longings for an +invitation; but we might have sighed and looked, and sighed again, for +our longings were useless--our doctor, with his usual politeness, made +sundry attempts to insinuate himself upon the hospitable notice of the +general, by endeavouring to arrange the panniers in a more classical +shape for his better accommodation, for which good service he received +bow for bow, with a considerable quantity of thanks into the bargain, +which, after he had done his best, (and that was no joke,) still left +him the general's debtor on the score of civility. When the doctor had +failed, the attempt of any other individual became a forlorn hope, but +nothing seems desperate to a British soldier, and two thorough going +ones, the commanders of the twelfth and fourteenth light dragoons, +(Colonels Ponsonby and Harvey,) whose olfactory nerves, at a distance +of some hundred yards, having snuffed up the tainted air, eagerly +followed the scent, and came to a dead point before the general and his +panniers. But although they had flushed their game they did not succeed +in bagging it; for while the general gave them plenty of his own +tongue, the deuce take the slice did he offer of the bullock's--and +as soon as he had satisfied his appetite he very deliberately bundled +up the fragments, and shouted to horse, for the enemy had by this +time withdrawn from our front, and joined the main body of the army +on the heights of Santarem. We closed up to them, and exchanged a +few civil shots--a ceremony which cannot be dispensed with between +contending armies on first taking up their ground, for it defines their +territorial rights, and prevents future litigation. + +Day-light next morning showed that, though they had passed a restless +night, they were not disposed to extend their walk unless compelled to +it, for their position, formidable by nature, had, by their unwearied +activity, become more so by art--the whole crest of it being already +fenced with an abbatis of felled trees, and the ground turned up in +various directions. + +One of our head-quarter staff-officers came to take a look at them in +the early part of the morning, and, assuming a superior knowledge +of all that was passing, said that they had nothing there but a +rear-guard, and that we should shove them from it in the course of the +day--upon which, our brigadier, (Sir Sidney Beckwith,) who had already +scanned every thing with his practised eye, dryly remarked, in his +usual homely but emphatic language, "It was a gay strong rear guard +that built that abbatis last night!" And so it proved, for their whole +army had been employed in its construction, and there they remained for +the next four months. + +The company to which I belonged, (and another,) had a deserted +farming establishment turned over for our comfort and convenience +during the period that it might suit the French marshal to leave us +in the enjoyment thereof. It was situated on a slope of the hill +overlooking the bridge of Santarem, and within range of the enemy's +sentries, and near the end of it was one of the finest aloes I have +ever seen, certainly not less than twelve or fourteen feet high. Our +mansion was a long range of common thatched building--one end was +a kitchen--next to it a parlour, which became also the drawing and +sleeping room of two captains, with their six jolly subs--a door-way +communicated from thence to the barn, which constituted the greater +part of the range, and lodged our two hundred men. A small apartment +at the other extremity, which was fitted up for a wine-press, lodged +our non-commissioned officers; while in the back-ground we had +accommodation for our cattle, and for sundry others of the domestic +tribes, had we had the good fortune to be furnished with them. + +The door-way between the officers' apartment and that of the soldiers +showed, (what is so very common on the seat of war,) when "a door +is not a door," but a shovel full of dust and ashes--the hinges had +resisted manfully by clinging to the door-post, but a fiery end had +overtaken the timber, and we were obliged to fill up the vacuum with +what loose stones we could collect in the neighbourhood; it was, +nevertheless, so open, that a hand might be thrust through it in every +direction, and, of course, the still small voices on either side of +the partition were alike audible to all. I know not what degree of +amusement the soldiers derived from the proceedings on our side of the +wall, but I know that the jests, the tales, and the songs, from their +side, constituted our greatest enjoyment during the many long winter +nights that it was our fate to remain there. + +The early part of their evenings was generally spent in witticisms +and tales; and, in conclusion, by way of a lullaby, some long-winded +fellow commenced one of those everlasting ditties in which soldiers +and sailors delight so much--they are all to the same tune, and the +subject, (if one may judge by the tenor of the first ninety-eight +verses,) was battle, murder, or sudden death; but I never yet survived +until the catastrophe, although I have often, to attain that end, +stretched my waking capacities to the utmost. I have sometimes heard a +fresh arrival from England endeavour to astonish their unpolished ears +with "the white blossomed sloe," or some such refined melody, but it +was invariably coughed down as instantaneously as if it had been the +sole voice of a conservative amidst a select meeting of radicals. + +The wit and the humour of the rascals were amusing beyond any +thing--and to see them next morning drawn up as mute as mice, and as +stiff as lamp-posts, it was a regular puzzler to discover on which +_post_ the light had shone during the bye-gone night, knowing, as we +did, that there were at least a hundred original pages for Joe Miller, +encased within the head-pieces then before us. + +Their stories, too, were quite unique--one, (an Englishman,) began +detailing the unfortunate termination of his last matrimonial +speculation. He had got a pass one day to go from Shorncliffe to +Folkestone, and on the way he fell in with one of the finest young +women "as ever he seed! my eye, as we say in Spain, if she was not a +_wapper_; with a pair of cheeks like cherries, and shanks as clean as +my ramrod, she was bounding over the downs like a young colt, and +faith, if she would not have been with her heels clean over my head if +I had'n't caught her up and demanded a parley. O, Jem, man, but she +was a nice creature! and all at once got so fond of me too, that there +was no use waiting; and so we settled it all that self same night, +and on the next morning we were regularly spliced, and I carries her +home to a hut which Corporal Smith and I hired behind the barrack for +eighteen pence a week. Well! I'll be blessed if I was'n't as happy as +a shilling a day and my wife could make me for two whole days; but the +next morning, just before parade, while Nancy was toasting a slice of +tommy[B] for our breakfast, who should darken our door but the carcase +of a great sea marine, who began blinking his goggle eyes like an owl +in a gooseberry bush, as if he did'n't see nothing outside on them; +when all at once Nancy turned, and, my eye, what a squall she set up as +she threw the toast in the fire, and upset my tinful of crowdy, while +she twisted her arms round his neck like a vice, and began kissing him +at no rate, he all the time blubbering, like a bottle-nose in a shoal, +about flesh of his flesh, and bones of his bones, and all the like o' +that. Well! says I to myself, says I, this is very queer any how--and +then I eyes the chap a bit, and then says I to him, (for I began to +feel somehow at seeing my wife kissed all round before my face without +saying by your leave,) an' says I to him, (rather angrily,) look ye, +Mr. Marine, if you don't take your ugly mouth farther off from my wife, +I'll just punch it with the butt end of my rifle! thunder and oons, you +great sea lobster that you are, don't you see that I married her only +two days ago just as she stands, bones and all, and you to come at this +time o' day to claim a part on her!" + + [B] Brown loaf. + +The marine, however, had come from the wars as a man of peace--he had +already been at her father's, and learnt all that had befallen her, +and, in place of provoking the rifleman's further ire, he sought an +amicable explanation, which was immediately entered into. + +It appeared that Nancy and he had been married some three years +before; that the sloop of war to which he belonged was ordered to the +West Indies, and while cruising on that station an unsuccessful night +attempt was made to cut out an enemy's craft from under a battery, in +the course of which the boat in which he was embarked having been sent +to the bottom with a thirty-two pound shot, he was supposed to have +gone along with it, and to be snugly reposing in Davy Jones's locker. +His present turn up, however, proved his going down to have been a +mistake, as he had succeeded in saving his life at the expense of his +liberty, for the time being; but the vessel, on her voyage to France, +was captured by a British frigate bound for India, and the royal marine +became once more the servant of his lawful sovereign. + +In the meanwhile Nancy had been duly apprised of his supposed fate +by some of his West Indian shipmates--she was told that she might +still hope; but Nancy had no idea of holding on by any thing so +precarious--she was the wife of a sailor, had been frequently on board +a ship, and had seen how arbitrarily every thing, even time itself, is +made subservient to their purposes, and she determined to act upon the +same principle, so that, as the first lieutenant authorizes it to be +eight o'clock after the officer of the watch has reported that it is +so, in like manner did Nancy, when her husband was reported dead, order +that he should be so; but it would appear that her commands had about +as much influence over her husband's fate as the first lieutenant's +had over time, from his making his untoward appearance so early in her +second honey-moon. + +As brevity formed no part of the narrator's creed, I have merely given +an outline of the marine's history, such as I understood it, and shall +hasten to the conclusion in the same manner. + +The explanation over, a long silence ensued--each afraid to pop the +question, which must be popp'd, of whose wife was Nancy? and when, +at last, it did come out, it was more easily asked than answered, +for, notwithstanding all that had passed, they continued both to be +deeply enamoured of their mutual wife, and she of both, nor could a +voluntary resignation be extracted from either of them, so that they +were eventually obliged to trust the winning or the losing of that +greatest of all earthly blessings, (a beloved wife,) to the undignified +decision of the toss of a halfpenny. The marine won, and carried off +the prize--while the rifleman declared that he had never yet forgiven +himself for being cheated out of his half, for he feels convinced that +the marine had come there prepared with a ha'penny that had two tails. + +The tail of the foregoing story was caught up by a _Patlander_ +with--"Well! the devil fetch me if I would have let her gone that +way any how, if the marine had brought twenty tails with his +ha'penny!--but you see I was kicked out of the only wife I never had +without ere a chance of being married at all. + +"Kitty, you see, was an apprentice to Miss Crump, who keeps that +thundering big milliner's shop in Sackville-street, and I was Mike +Kinahan's boy at the next door--so you see, whenever it was Kitty's +turn to carry out one of them great blue boxes with thingumbobs for +the ladies, faith, I always contrived to steal away for a bit, to give +Kitty a lift, and the darling looked so kind and so grateful for't that +I was at last quite kilt!" + +I must here take up the thread of Paddy's story for the same reasons +given in the last, and inform the reader that, though he himself had +received the finishing blow, he was far from satisfied that Kitty's +case was equally desperate, for, notwithstanding her grateful looks, +they continued to be more like those of a mistress to an obliging +servant than of a sweetheart. As for a kiss, he could not get any thing +like one even by coaxing, and the greatest bliss he experienced, in +the course of his love making, was in the interchange among the fingers +which the frequent transfer of the band-box permitted, and which Pat +declared went quite through and through him. + +Matters, however, were far from keeping pace with Paddy's inclinations, +and feeling convinced at last, that there must be a rival in the +case, he determined to watch her very closely, in order to have his +suspicions removed, or, if confirmed, to give his rival such a pounding +as should prevent his ever crossing his path again. Accordingly, +seeing her one evening leave the shop better dressed than usual, he +followed at a distance, until opposite the post-office, when he saw her +joined, (evidently by appointment,) by a tall well-dressed spalpeen +of a fellow, and they then proceeded at a smart pace up the adjoining +street--Paddy followed close behind in the utmost indignation, but +before he had time to make up his mind as to which of his rival's bones +he should begin by breaking, they all at once turned into a doorway, +which Paddy found belonged to one of those dancing shops so common in +Dublin. + +Determined not to be foiled in that manner, and ascertaining that a +decent suit of _toggery_ and five _tin_-pennies in his pocket would +ensure him a _free_ admission, he lost no time in equipping in his +Sunday's best, and having succeeded in _borrowing_ the needful for the +occasion out of his master's till, he sallied forth bent on conquest. + +Paddy was ushered up stairs into the ball-room with all due decorum, +but that commodity took leave of him at the door, for the first thing +he saw on entering, was his mistress and his rival, within a yard of +him, whirling in the mazes of a country dance. Pat's philosophy was +unequal to the sight, and throwing one arm round the young lady's +waist, and giving her partner a douse in the chops with the other, it +made as satisfactory a change in their relative positions as he could +have reasonably desired, by sending his rival in a continuation of his +waltzing movement, to the extremity of the room to salute the wall at +the end of it. + +Pat, however, was allowed but brief space to congratulate himself on +his successful _debut_ in a ball-room, for in the next instant he found +himself most ungracefully propelled through the door-way, by sundry +unseen hands, which had grasped him tightly by the _scruff_ of the +neck, and on reaching the top of the staircase, he felt as if a hundred +feet had given a simultaneous kick which raised him like a balloon for +a short distance, and then away he went heels over head towards the +bottom. It so happened at this particular moment, that three gentlemen +very sprucely dressed, had just paid their money and were in the act +of ascending, taking that opportunity, as gentlemen generally do, of +arranging their hair and adjusting their frills to make their _entré_ +the more bewitching, and it is therefore unnecessary to say that the +descent of our aëronaut not only disturbed the economy of their wigs +but carried all three to the bottom with the impetus of three sacks of +potatoes. + +Paddy's temperament had somewhat exceeded madman's heat before he +commenced his aërial flight, and, as may be imagined, it had not much +cooled in its course, so that when he found himself safely landed, +and, as luck would have it, on the top of one of the unfortunates, he +very unceremoniously began taking the change out of his head for all +the disasters of the night, and having quickly demolished the nose and +bunged up both eyes, he (seeing nothing more to be done thereabouts) +next proceeded to pound the unfortunate fellow's head against the +floor, before they succeeded in lugging him off to finish his love +adventure in the watch-house. + +That night was the last of Paddy's love and of his adventures in the +City of Dublin. His friends were respectable of their class, and on the +score of his former good conduct, succeeded in appeasing the aggrieved +parties and inducing them to withdraw from the prosecution on condition +that he quitted the city for ever, and, when he had time to reflect +on the position in which the reckless doings of the few hours had +placed him, he was but too happy to subscribe to it, and passing over +to Liverpool enlisted with a recruiting party of ours, and became an +admirable soldier. + +Having given two of the soldiers' stories, it may probably be amusing +to my readers to hear one from our side of the wall. It was related by +one of our officers, a young Scotchman, who was a native of the place, +and while I state that I give it to the best of my recollection, I +could have wished, as the tale is a true one, that it had fallen into +the hands of the late lamented author of Waverly, who would have done +greater justice to its merits. + + +THE OFFICER'S STORY. + +On the banks of the river Carron, near the celebrated village of that +name, which shows its glowing fields of fiery furnaces, stirred by ten +thousand imps of darkness, as if all the devils from the nether world +there held perpetual revels, toasting their red hot irons and twisting +them into all manner of fantastic shapes--tea-kettles, ten-pounders, +and ten-penny nails--I say, that near that village--not in the upper +and romantic region of it, where old Norval of yore fished up his +basketful of young Norvals--but about a mile below where the river +winds through the low country, in a bight of it there stands a stately +two-story house, dashed with pale pink and having a tall chimney at +each end, sticking up like a pair of asses' ears. The main building is +supported by a brace of wings not large enough to fly away with it, +but standing in about the same proportions that the elbows of an easy +chair do to its back. The hall door is flanked on each side by a pillar +of stone as thick as my leg, and over it there is a niche in the wall +which in the days of its glory might have had the honour of lodging +Neptune or Nicodemus, but is now devoted exclusively to the loves of +the sparrows. + +Viewed at a little distance the mansion still wears a certain air of +imposing gentility--looking like the substantial retreat of one who +had well feathered his nest upon the high seas, or as an adventurer +in foreign lands. But a nearer approach shews that the day of its +glory has long departed, the winds are howling through the glassless +casements, the roof is plastered by the pigeons, the pigs and the +poultry are galloping at large over the ruins of the garden-wall, +luxuriating in its once costly shrubbery, and a turkey is most likely +seen at the hall-door, staring the visitor impertinently in the face, +and blustering as if he would say, "if you want me you must down with +the dust." + +Had that same turkey, however, lived some six score years before, in +the life-time, or in the death-time of the last of its lairds, he would +have found himself compelled to gabble to another tune, for in place of +being allowed to insult his guests in his master's hall, he would have +been called upon to share his merry-thought for their amusement at the +festive board. + +That the last laird of Abbots-Haugh had lived like a right good country +gentleman all of the olden days, the manner of his death will testify, +for though his living history is lost in the depth of time, his death +is still alive in the recollections of our existing great grandfathers. +He was, to the best of my belief, wifeless and relationless, +nevertheless, when the time approached that "the old man he must die," +he did as all prudent men do, made his temporal arrangements previous +to the settling of that last debt which he owed to nature. + +The laird, it appeared, was not haunted by the fears of most men, +which forbid the inspection of their last testaments, until the +last shovelful of earth has secured their remains from the wrath of +disappointed expectants, and from a conscious dread too that the only +tears that would otherwise be shed at their obsequies, would be by the +undertaker and his assistants with their six big black horses; but the +laird, as before said, was altogether another manner of man, and his +last request was, that certain persons should consider themselves his +executors, that they should open his will the moment the breath was out +of his body, and that they should see his last injunctions faithfully +executed as they hoped that he should rest calmly in his grave. + +The laird quietly gave up the ghost, and his last wish was complied +with; when, to the no small astonishment of the executors, the only +bequest which his will decreed was, that every man within a given +distance of his residence was to be invited to the funeral, and that +they were all to be filled blind drunk before the commencement of the +procession! + +This was certainly one of the most jovial wills that was ever made by a +dying man, and it was acted upon to the letter. + +The appointed day arrived, and so did the guests too; and although the +invitations had only extended to the men, yet did their wives, like +considerate folks as they always are, reflect that a dying man cannot +have all his wits about him, and had any one but taken the trouble to +remind him that there were such things as angels even in this world, +they would no doubt have been included, and with that view of the case +they considered it their duty to give their aid in the _mournful_ +ceremony. + +The duties of the day at length began as was usual on those days, by-- + + "One-mile prayers and half-mile graces," + +to which the assembled multitude impatiently listened with their + + "Toom wames and lang wry faces." + +That ceremony over, they proceeded with all due diligence to honour the +last request of the departed laird. + +The droves of bullocks, sheep, and turkeys, which had been sacrificed +for the occasion, were served up at mid-day, and as every description +of foreign and British wines, spirits, and ales flowed in pailfuls, the +executors indulged in the very reasonable expectation that the whole +party would be sufficiently glorious to authorize their proceeding with +their last duty so as to have it over before dark: but they had grossly +miscalculated the capacities of their guests, for even at dusk when +they considered themselves compelled to put the procession in motion at +all hazards, it was found that many of them were not more than "half +seas over." + +The distance from Abbots-Haugh to the dormitory of the parish-church +is nearly two miles, the first half of the road runs still between two +broad deep ditches which convey the drainings of these lowlands into +the river; the other half is now changed by the intersection of the +great canal, but an avenue formed by two quick-set hedge-rows still +marks its former line. + +Doctor Mac Adam had not in those days begun to disturb the bowels of +the harmless earth, by digging for stones wherewith to deface its +surface, so that the roads were perfect evergreens, (when nobody +travelled upon them,) but at the period I speak of, a series of +wet weather and perpetual use had converted them into a sort of +hodge-podge, which contributed nothing towards maintaining the gravity +of the unsteady multitude now in motion, so that although the hearse +started with some five or six hundred followers, all faithful and +honest in their purpose to see the end of the ceremony, there were +not above as many dozens who succeeded in following it into the +church-yard, which it reached about midnight. These few however went on +in the discharge of their duty and proceeded to remove the coffin from +the hearse to its intended receptacle, but to their utter consternation +there was no longer a coffin or a corpse there! + +Tam O'Shanter lived a generation later than the period of my history, +and I believe that there were few Scotchmen even in his days who were +altogether free from supernatural dread however well primed with +whiskey; but certain it is, that on this occasion every bonnet that +was not on a bald head rose an inch or two higher, and many of them +were pitched off altogether, as they began to reason (where reason +there was none) as to the probable flight of the coffin; and though +they were unanimously of opinion that it had gone the Lord knows where, +yet they at last agreed that it was nevertheless a duty they owed the +deceased to go back to Abbots-Haugh and inquire whether the laird had +not returned. They accordingly provided themselves with lanterns, and +examined all parts of the road on their way back, which was easily +traced by the sleeping and besotted persons of the funeral party which +formed a continuous link from the one place to the other--some lying in +the road--some stuck fast in the hedges, but the majority three parts +drowned in the ditches. When our return party arrived near the site +of the present distillery, which happened to be the deepest part of +the way, they heard something floundering at a frightful rate at the +edge of a pool of water on the road side, and which, on examination, +proved to be a huge old woman who was in the habit of supplying the +farmers in that part of the country with loaf bread for their Sunday's +breakfasts; she was holding on fiercely by what appeared to be the +stump of a tree, while her nether end was immersed in the water, +but when they went to pull her out, they found to their delight and +astonishment that she was actually holding on by the end of the lost +coffin, which had fallen at the edge of the pool. Old Nelly could give +no information as to how it got there, she had some recollection of +having been shoved into the hearse at first starting, but knew nothing +more until she found herself up to her _oxters_ in the water, holding +fast by something--that she had bawled until she was hoarse, and had +now nothing but a kick left to tell the passers by that a poor creature +was perishing. She had most probably been reposing on the coffin as a +place of rest, and been jolted a step beyond it when the two fell out. + +A council was now called to determine the proper mode of further +proceeding, when it was moved and carried that a vote of censure be +passed upon the executors for having failed to fulfil the provisions of +the laird's will, for in place of being drunk, as they ought to have +been, they were all shamefully sober; secondly, that it was in vain +to repeat the attempt to bury him until the conditions upon which he +died were complied with, for he had pledged himself not to rest quiet +in his grave if it was neglected, and it was evident from what he had +already done that he was not to be humbugged, but would again slip +through their fingers unless justice was done to his memory, and it +was therefore finally resolved that the laird be carried back to his +own hall, there to lie in state until the terms of his testament were +confirmed and ratified beyond dispute. + +Back, therefore, they went to Abbots-Haugh, and set themselves again +right honestly to work, as good and loyal vassals to obey their +master's last behests, and that they at length succeeded in laying the +restless spirit may be inferred from the fact that it was the afternoon +of the third day from that time before the party felt themselves in +a condition to renew the attempt to complete the ceremony; however +it was then done effectually, as for fear of accidents, and not to +lose sight of the coffin a second time, as many as there was room for +took post on the top of it, provided with the means of finishing, at +their destination, what the defunct might have considered underdone +on their departure. And accordingly when they had at last succeeded +in depositing the coffin within the family vault, and had set the +bricklayers to work, they renewed their revels in the church-yard, +until they finally saw the tomb closed over one of the most eccentric +characters that ever went into it. + +I shall now take leave of tales, and recommence the narration of +passing events by mentioning that while we remained at Valle, one of +our officers made an amusing attempt to get up a pack of hounds. He +offered a dollar a head for anything in the shape of a dog that might +be brought to him, which in a very short time furnished his kennel +with about fifteen couple, composed of poodles, sheep-dogs, curs, and +every species but the one that was wanted. When their numbers became +sufficiently formidable to justify the hope that there might be a few +noses in the crowd gifted with the sense of smelling something more +game than their porridge-pots; the essay was made, but they proved a +most ungrateful pack, for they were no sooner at liberty than every one +went howling away to his own home as if a tin kettle had been tied to +his tail. (A prophetic sort of feeling of what would inevitably have +befallen him had he remained a short time longer.) + +Scotchmen are generally famed for the size of their noses, and I know +not whether it is that on service they get too much crammed with snuff +and gunpowder, or from what other cause, but certain it is that they do +not prove themselves such useful appendages to the countenance there +as they do in their own country, in scenting out whatever seemeth good +unto the wearer, for I remember one day, while waging war against the +snipes on the flooded banks of the Rio Maior, in passing by the rear +of a large country house which was occupied by the commander-in-chief +of the cavalry, (Sir Stapleton Cotton,) I was quite horrified to find +myself all at once amidst the ruins of at least twenty dozen of sheep's +heads, unskinned and unsinged, to the utter disgrace of about two +thousand highland noses belonging to the forty-second and seventy-ninth +regiments, which had, all the while of their accumulation, been lodged +within a mile, and not over and above well provided with that national +standing dish. + +I will venture to say, that had such a deposit been made any evening on +the North Inch of Perth in the days of their great grandfathers, there +would have been an instinctive gathering of all the clans between the +Tay and Cairngorum before day-light next morning. + + + + +CHAP. VII. + + "Blood and destruction shall be so in use, + And dreadful objects so familiar, + That mothers shall but smile when they behold + Their infants quartered with the hands of war." + + +The month of March, eighteen hundred and eleven, showed the successful +workings of Lord Wellington's admirable arrangements. The hitherto +victorious French army, which, under their "spoilt child of fortune," +had advanced to certain conquest, were now obliged to bundle up their +traps and march back again, leaving nearly half their numbers to fatten +the land which they had beggared. They had fallen, too, on nameless +ground, in sickness and in want, and without a shot, by which their +friends and relatives might otherwise have proudly pointed to the +graves they filled. + +Portugal, at that period, presented a picture of sadness and desolation +which it is sickening to think of--its churches spoliated, its villages +fired, and its towns depopulated. + +It was no uncommon sight, on entering a cottage, to see in one +apartment some individuals of the same family dying of want, some +perishing under the brutal treatment of their oppressors, and some +(preferring death to dishonour) lying butchered upon their own hearths. + +These were scenes which no Briton could behold without raising his +voice in thanksgiving to the Author of all good, that the home of his +childhood had been preserved from such fearful visitations; and yet +how melancholy it is to reflect that even in that cherished home there +should be many self-styled patriots, who not only grumble at, but would +deny their country's pittance to those who devoted the best part of +their lives, sacrificed their health, and cheerfully scattered their +limbs in rolling the tide of battle from its door. + +I lament it feelingly but not selfishly, for as far as I am +individually concerned, my country and I are quits. I passed through +the fiery ordeal of these bloody times and came out scatheless. While +I parted from its service on the score of expediency, it is to me a +source of pride to reflect (may I be pardoned the expression) that we +parted with mutual regret. That she may never again require a re-union +with such an humble individual as myself may heaven in its infinite +mercy forfend; but if she does, I am happy in the feeling that I have +still health and strength, and a heart and soul devoted to her cause. + +Massena's retreat having again called the sword from its scabbard, +where it had slumbered for months, it was long ere it had another +opportunity of running to rust through idleness, seeing that it was not +only in daily communication with the _heads_ of the enemy's corps in +the course of their return through Portugal, but wherever else these +same heads were visible, and for a year and a half from that date they +were rarely out of sight. + +On the 9th, we came up with their rear-guard on a table land near +Pombal. We had no force with which to make any serious attack upon it, +so that it was a day's dragooning, "all cry and little wool." We had +one company mixed among them from day-light until dark, but they came +back to us without a scratch. + +On the morning of the 11th, finding that the enemy had withdrawn from +the scene of the former day's skirmish, we moved in pursuit towards +the town, which they still occupied as an advanced post. Two of our +companies, with some Caçadores and a squadron of the royal dragoons, +made a dash into it, driving the enemy out, and along with a number of +prisoners captured the baggage of young Soult. + +I know not whether young Soult was the son of old Soult or only the +son of his father; all I know is, that by the letters found in his +portmanteau, he was the colonel of that name. + +His baggage, I remember, was mounted on a stately white horse with a +Roman nose and a rat tail, which last I believe is rather an unusual +appendage to a horse of that colour, but he was a waggish looking +fellow, and probably had shaken all the hairs out of his tail in +laughing at the contents of the portmanteau of which he was the bearer. + +He and his load were brought to the hammer the same day by his captors, +and excited much merriment among us. I wish that I felt myself at +liberty to publish an inventory of the contents of a French officer's +portmanteau, but as they excited such excess of laughter in a horse +I fear it would prove fatal to my readers--not to mention (as I see +written on some of the snug corners of our thoroughfares) that "decency +forbids." Suffice it that it abounded in luxuries which we dreamt not +of. + +Next day, the 12th, in following the retiring foe we came to the field +of Redinha. I have never in the course of my subsequent military +career seen a more splendid picture of war than was there shewn. +Ney commanded the opposing force, which was formed on the table land +in front of the town in the most imposing shape. We light folks were +employed in the early part of the action in clearing the opposing +_lights_ from the woods which flanked his position, and in the course +of an hour about thirty thousand British, as if by magic, were seen +advancing on the plain in three lines, with the order and precision of +a field day: the French disappeared before them like snow under the +influence of a summer's sun. The forces on both sides were handled by +masters in the art. + +A late lady writer (Miss Pardoe) I see has now peopled Redinha with +banditti, and as far as my remembrance goes, they could not have +selected a more favourable position, with this single but important +professional drawback, that there can be but few folks thereabout worth +robbing. + +I know not what class of beings were its former tenants, but at the +time I speak of, the curse of the Mac Gregors was upon them, for the +retiring enemy had given + + "Their roofs to the flames and their flesh to the eagles," + +and there seemed to be no one left to record its history. + +After the peace, in 1814, I met, at a ball in Castel Sarrazin, the +colonel who commanded the regiment opposed to us in the wood on that +occasion. He confessed that he had never been so roughly handled, and +had lost four hundred of his men. He was rather a rough sort of a +diamond himself, and seemed anxious to keep his professional hand in +practice, for he quarreled that same night with one of his countrymen +and was bled next morning with a small sword. + +From Redinha we proceeded near to Condeixa, and passed that day and +night on the road side in comparative peace. Not so the next, for at +Casal Nova, on the 14th, we breakfasted, dined, and supped on powder +and ball. + +Our general of division was on leave of absence in England during +this important period, and it was our curse in the interim to fall +into the hands successively of two or three of the worthiest and best +of men, but whose only claims to distinction as officers was their +sheet of parchment. The consequence was, that whenever there was any +thing of importance going on, we were invariably found leaving undone +those things which we ought to have done, and doing that which we +ought not to have done. On the occasion referred to we were the whole +day battering our brains out against stone walls at a great sacrifice +of life, whereas, had we waited with common prudence until the proper +period, when the flank movements going on under the direction of our +illustrious chief had begun to take effect, the whole of the loss would +have been on the other side, but as it was, I am afraid that although +we carried our point we were the greatest sufferers. Our battalion had +to lament the loss of two very valuable officers on that occasion, +Major Stewart and Lieutenant Strode. + +At the commencement of the action, just as the mist of the morning +began to clear away, a section of our company was thrown forward among +the skirmishers, while the other three remained in reserve behind a +gentle eminence, and the officer commanding it, seeing a piece of +rising ground close to the left, which gave him some uneasiness, he +desired me to take a man with me to the top of it, and to give him +notice if the enemy attempted any movement on that side. We got to +the top; but if we had not found a couple of good sized stones on the +spot, which afforded shelter at the moment, we should never have got +any where else, for I don't think they expended less than a thousand +shots upon us in the course of a few minutes. My companion, John Rouse, +a steady sturdy old rifleman, no sooner found himself snugly covered, +than he lugged out his rifle to give them one in return, but the +slightest exposure brought a dozen balls to the spot in an instant, +and I was amused to see old Rouse, at every attempt, jerking back his +head with a sort of knowing grin, as if it were only a parcel of +schoolboys, on the other side, threatening him with snow-balls; but +seeing, at last, that his time for action was not yet come, he withdrew +his rifle, and, knowing my inexperience in those matters, he very +good-naturedly called to me not to expose myself looking out just then, +for, said he, "there will be no moving among them while this shower +continues." + +When the shower ceased we found that they had also ceased to hold +their formidable post, and, as quickly as may be, we were to be seen +standing in their old shoes, mixed up with some of the forty-third, and +among them the gallant Napier, the present historian of the Peninsular +War, who there got a ball through his body which seemed to me to have +reduced the remainder of his personal history to the compass of a +simple paragraph: it nevertheless kept him but a very short while in +the back-ground. + +I may here remark that the members of that distinguished family were +singularly unfortunate in that way, as they were rarely ever in any +serious action in which one or all of them did not get hit. + +The two brothers in our division were badly wounded on this occasion, +and, if I remember right, they were also at Busaco; the naval captain, +(the present admiral of that name,) was there as an amateur, and +unfortunately caught it on a spot where he had the last wish to be +distinguished, for, accustomed to face broadsides on his native +element, he had no idea of taking in a ball in any other direction than +from the front, but on shore we were obliged to take them just as they +came! + +This severe harassing action closed only with the day-light, and left +the French army wedged in the formidable pass of Miranda de Corvo. + +They seemed so well in hand that some doubt was entertained whether +they did not intend to burst forth upon us; but, as the night closed +in, the masses were seen to melt, and at day-light next morning they +were invisible. + +I had been on picquet that night in a burning village, and the first +intimation we had of their departure was by three Portuguese boys, +who had been in the service of French officers, and who took the +opportunity of the enemy's night march to make their escape--they +seemed well fed, well dressed, and got immediate employment in our +camp, and they proved themselves very faithful to their new masters. +One of them continued as a servant to an officer for many years after +the peace. + +In the course of the morning we passed the brigade of General +Nightingale, composed of Highlanders, if I remember right, who had made +a flank movement to get a slice at the enemy's rear guard; but he had +arrived at the critical pass a little too late. + +In the afternoon we closed up to the enemy at Foz d'Aronce, and, after +passing an hour in feeling for their different posts, we began to squat +ourselves down for the night on the top of a bleak hill, but soon +found that we had other fish to fry. Lord Wellington, having a prime +nose for smelling out an enemy's blunder, no sooner came up than he +discovered that Ney had left himself on the wrong side of the river, +and immediately poured down upon him with our division, Picton's, and +Pack's Portuguese, and, after a sharp action, which did not cease until +after dark, we drove him across the river with great loss. + +I have often lamented in the course of the war that battalion officers, +on occasions of that kind, were never entrusted with a peep behind +the curtain. Had we been told before we advanced that there was but a +single division in our front, with a river close behind them, we would +have hunted them to death, and scarcely a man could have escaped; but, +as it was, their greatest loss was occasioned by their own fears and +precipitancy in taking to the river at unfordable places--for we were +alike ignorant of the river, the localities, or the object of the +attack; so that when we carried the position, and exerted ourselves +like prudent officers to hold our men in hand, we were, from want of +information, defeating the very object which had been intended, that +of hunting them on to the finale. + +When there is no object in view beyond the simple breaking of the +heads of those opposed to us, there requires no speechification; but, +on all occasions, like the one related, it ought never to be lost +sight of--it is easily done--it never, by any possibility, can prove +disadvantageous, and I have seen many instances in which the advantages +would have been incalculable. I shall mention as one--that three days +after the battle of Vittoria, in following up the retreating foe, +we found ourselves in a wood, engaged in a warm skirmish, which we +concluded was occasioned by our pushing the enemy's rear guard faster +than they found it convenient to travel; but, by and bye, when they had +disappeared, we found that we were near the junction of two roads, and +that we had all the while been close in, and engaged with the flank of +another French division, which was retiring by a road running parallel +with our own. The road (and that there was a retiring force upon it) +must, or ought to have been known to some of our staff officers, and +had they only communicated their information, there was nothing to have +prevented our dashing through their line of march, and there is little +doubt, too, but the thousands which passed us, while we stood there +exchanging shots with them, would have fallen into our hands. + +The day after the action at Foz d'Aronce was devoted to repose, of +which we stood much in want, for we had been marching and fighting +incessantly from day-light until dark for several consecutive days, +without being superabundantly provisioned; and our jackets, which had +been tolerably tight fits at starting, were now beginning to sit as +gracefully as sacks upon us. When wounds were abundant, however, we did +not consider it a disadvantage to be low in flesh, for the poorer the +subject the better the patient! + +A smooth ball or a well polished sword will slip through one of your +transparent gentlemen so gently that be scarcely feels it, and the +holes close again of their own accord. But see the smash it makes +in one of your turtle or turkey fed ones! the hospital is ruined in +finding materials to reduce his inflammations, and it is ten to one if +ever he comes to the scratch again. + +On descending to the river side next morning to trace the effects +of the preceding night's combat, we were horrified and disgusted by +the sight of a group of at least five hundred donkeys standing there +ham-strung. The poor creatures looked us piteously in the face, as much +as to say, "Are you not ashamed to call yourselves human beings?" And +truly we were ashamed to think that even our enemy could be capable of +such refinement in cruelty. I fancy the truth was, they were unable +to get them over the river, they had not time to put them to death, +and, at the same time, they were resolved that we should not have the +benefit of their services. Be that as it may, so disgusted and savage +were our soldiers at the sight, that the poor donkeys would have +been amply revenged, had fate, at that moment, placed five hundred +Frenchmen in our hands, for I am confident that every one of them would +have undergone the same operation. + +The French having withdrawn from our front on the 16th, we crossed the +Ciera, at dawn of day, on the 17th; the fords were still so deep, that, +as an officer with an empty haversack on my back, it was as much as I +could do to flounder across it without swimming. The soldiers ballasted +with their knapsacks, and the sixty rounds of ball cartridge were of +course in better fording trim. We halted that night in a grove of cork +trees, about half a league short of the Alva. + +Next morning we were again in motion, and found the enemy's rear-guard +strongly posted on the opposite bank of that river. + +The Alva was wide, deep, and rapid, and the French had destroyed the +bridge of Murcella, and also the one near Pombeira. Nevertheless, +we opened a thundering cannonade on those in our front, while Lord +Wellington, having, with extraordinary perseverance, succeeded +in throwing three of his divisions over it higher up, threatening +their line of retreat--it obliged those opposed to us to retire +precipitately, when our staff corps, with wonderful celerity, having +contrived to throw a temporary bridge over the river, we passed in +pursuit and followed until dark; we did not get another look at them +that day, and bivouacked for the night in a grove of pines, on some +swampy high lands, by the road side, without baggage, cloaks, or +eatables of any kind. + +Who has not passed down Blackfriars-road of an evening? and who has not +seen, in the vicinity of Rowland Hill's chapel, at least half a dozen +gentlemen presiding each over his highly polished tin case, surmounted +by variegated lamps, and singing out that most enchanting of all +earthly melodies to an empty stomach, that has got a sixpence in its +clothly casement, "hot, all hot!" The whole concern is not above the +size of a drum, and, in place of dealing in its empty sounds, rejoices +in mutton-pies, beef-steaks, and kidney-puddings, "hot, all hot!" If +the gentlemen had but followed us to the wars, how they would have been +worshipped in such a night, even without their lamps. + +In these days of invention, when every suggestion for ameliorating +the condition of the soldier is thankfully received, I, as one, who +have suffered severely by outward thawings and inward gnawings, beg to +found my claim to the gratitude of posterity, by proposing that, when a +regiment is ordered on active service, the drummers shall deposit their +sheep-skins and their cat-o'-nine tails in the regimental store-room, +leaving one cat only in the keeping of the drum major. And in lieu +thereof that each drummer be armed with a _tin drum_ full of "hot, all +hot!" and that whenever the quarter-master fails to find the _cold_, +the odd cat in the keeping of the drum-major shall be called upon to +remind him of his duty. + +If the simple utterance of the three magical monosyllables already +mentioned did not rally a regiment more rapidly round the given point +than a tempest of drums and trumpets, I should be astonished, and as we +fought tolerably well on empty stomachs, I should like to see what we +would not do on kidney puddings, "hot, all hot!" + +On the 19th we were again in motion at day-light, and both on that day +and the next, although we did not come into actual contact with the +enemy, we picked up a good many stragglers. We were obliged, however, +to come to a halt for several days from downright want, for the country +was a desert, and we had out-marched our supplies. Until they came +up, therefore, we remained two days in one village, and kept creeping +slowly along the foot of the Sierra, until our commissariat was +sufficiently re-inforced to enable us to make another dash. + +I was amused at that time, in marching through those towns and +villages which had been the head-quarters of the French army, to +observe the falling off in their respect to the Marquess d'Alorna, +a Portuguese nobleman, who had espoused their cause, and who, during +Massena's advance, had been treated like a prince among them. On +their retreat, however, it was easily seen that he was considered +an incumbrance. Their names were always chalked on the doors of the +houses they occupied, and we remarked that the one allotted to the +unfortunate marquis grew gradually worse as we approached the frontier, +and I remember that in the last village before we came to Celerico, +containing about fifty houses, only a cow's share of the buildings had +fallen to his lot. + +We halted one day at Mello, and seeing a handsome-looking new church on +the other side of the Mondego, I strolled over in the afternoon to look +at it. It had all the appearance of having been magnificently adorned +in the interior, but the French had left the usual traces of their +barbarous and bloody visit. The doors were standing wide open, the +valuable paintings destroyed, the statues thrown down, and mixed with +them on the floor, lay the bodies of six or seven murdered Portuguese +peasants. It was a cruel and a horrible sight, and yet in the midst +thereof was I tempted to commit a most sacrilegious act, for round +the neck of a prostrate marble female image, I saw a bone necklace of +rare and curious workmanship, the only thing that seemed to have been +saved from the general wreck, which I very coolly transferred to my +pocket and in due time to my portmanteau. But a day of retribution was +at hand, for both the portmanteau and the necklace went from me like a +tale that is told, and I saw them no more. + +It was the 28th before we again came in contact with the enemy at the +village of Frexadas. Two companies of ours and some dragoons were +detached to dislodge them, which they effected in gallant style, +sending them off in confusion and taking a number of prisoners; but the +advantage was dearly purchased by the death of our adjutant, Lieutenant +Stewart. He imprudently rode into the main street of the village, +followed by a few riflemen, before the French had had time to withdraw +from it, and was shot from a window. + +One would imagine that there is not much sense wrapped up in an ounce +of lead, and yet it invariably selects our best and our bravest, (no +great compliment to myself by the way, considering the quantity of +those particles that must have passed within a yard of my body at +different times, leaving all standing.) Its present victim was a public +loss, for he was a shrewd, active, and intelligent officer; a gallant +soldier, and a safe, jovial, and honourable companion. + +I was not one of the party engaged on that occasion, but with many of +my brother officers, watched their proceedings with my spy-glass from +the church-yard of Alverca. Our rejoicings on the flight of the enemy +were quickly turned into mourning by observing in the procession of our +returning victorious party, the gallant adjutant's well-known bay horse +with a dead body laid across the saddle. We at first indulged in the +hope that he had given it to the use of some more humble comrade; but +long ere they reached the village we became satisfied that the horse +was the bearer of the inanimate remains of his unfortunate master, who +but an hour before had left us in all the vigour of health, hope, and +manhood. At dawn of day on the following morning the officers composing +the advanced guard, dragoons, artillery, and riflemen, were seen +voluntarily assembled in front of Sir Sidney Beckwith's quarters, and +the body, placed in a wooden chest, was brought out and buried there +amid the deep but silent grief of the spectators. + +Brief, however, is the space which can be allotted to military +lamentations in such times, for within a quarter of an hour we were +again on the move in battle array, to seek laurels or death in another +field. + +Our movement that morning was upon Guarda, the highest standing town +in Portugal, which is no joke, as they are rather exalted in their +architectural notions--particularly in convent-building--and were even +a thunder-charged cloud imprudent enough to hover for a week within +a league of their highest land, I verily believe that it would get so +saddled with monks, nuns, and their accompanying iron bars, that it +would be ultimately unable to make its escape. + +Our movement, as already said, was upon Guarda, and how it happened, +the Lord and Wellington only knows, but even in that wild mountainous +region the whole British army arriving from all points of the compass +were seen to assemble there at the same instant, and the whole French +army were to be seen at the same time in rapid retreat within gun-shot +through the valley below us. + +There must have been some screws loose among our minor departments, +otherwise such a brilliant movement on the part of our chief would not +have gone for nothing. But notwithstanding that the enemy's masses were +struggling through a narrow defile for a considerable time, and our +cavalry and horse artillery were launched against them, three hundred +prisoners were the sole fruits of the day's work. + + + + +CHAP. VII. + + The persecution of the guardian of two angels. A Caçadore and + his mounted followers. A chief of hussars in his trousers. + A chief of rifles in his glory, and a sub of ditto with two + screws in the neck. + + +In one of the first chapters of this book I not only pledged my +constancy to my fair readers, but vowed to renew my addresses from +time to time as opportunities offered. As my feet, however, have since +trodden from one extremity of a kingdom to the other, and many months +have, in the meanwhile, rolled away without giving me an opportunity +of redeeming the pledge, I fear that my fidelity might be doubted +if I delayed longer in assuring them that the spirit has all along +been willing, but the subject fearfully wanting; for wherever I have +wandered the angel of death has gone before, and carefully swept from +the female countenance all lines of beauty, leaving nothing for the eye +to dwell on but the hideous ruins of distress. + +The only exceptions were our fellow travellers, for the country on +our line of march, as already said, was reduced to a desert, and no +one remained in it who had either wealth or strength to remove, and +our regimental wife had deserted, but our gallant associates, the +43d and 52d regiments, had one each, who had embarked with them, and +remained true to the brigade until the end of the war. One of them was +remarkably pretty, and it did one's heart good to see the everlasting +sweets that hung upon her lovely countenance, assuring us that our +recollections of the past were not ideal, which they would otherwise +have been apt to revolve themselves into from the utter disappearance +of reality for so long a period. + +The only addition to them which our division could boast, were two +smart substantial looking Portuguese angels, who followed our two +Caçadore regiments, and rode on mule-back under the especial protection +of their regimental chaplain. These two were a continual source of +amusement to us on the march whenever we found ourselves at liberty +to indulge in it. The worthy father himself was quite a lady's man, +(Portuguese,) he was a short stout old fellow, with a snuff-coloured +coat buttoned up to the throat, which was quite unnecessary with him, +seeing that he shaved and put on a clean shirt sometimes as often as +once a fortnight. The round mealy-faced ball which he wore as a head +was surmounted by a tall cocked hat, and when mounted on his bay pony +in his Portuguese saddle, which is boarded up like a bucket, (the shape +of his seat and thighs,) he was exactly like some of the cuts I have +seen of Hudibras starting on his erratic expedition. + +It was our daily amusement whenever we could steal away from our +regiment a short time, for two or three of us to start with some +design against the Padré and his dark-eyed wards. One of us would ride +quietly up alongside of him and another on that of the ladies as if we +wished to pass, but in wishing them the compliments of the season we of +course contrived to get ourselves entangled in conversation, while a +third officer of our party rode some distance in the rear in readiness +to take advantage of circumstances. + +The Padré was a good-natured old fellow, fond of spinning a yarn, and +as soon as one of us had got him fairly embarked in his story, the +other began gradually to detach one or both of the damsels from his +side, according as the inequalities of the road favoured the movement. +They entered into the frolic merrily, but still he was so much alive +that we rarely succeeded in stealing one out of sight; but if we did +by any accident, it was a grand scene to see the scramble which he and +his pony made after the fugitives, and on recovering the one, his rage +on his return to find that the other had also disappeared. After one of +these successful expeditions we found it prudent never to renew the +attack until his wrath was assuaged, and it never abode with him long, +so that week after week and year after year we continued to renew the +experiment with various success. + +It is amusing to think to what absurdities people will have recourse +by way of amusement when subjects for it are scarce. It was long +a favourite one with us to hunt a Caçadore as we called it. Their +officers as well as our own were always mounted, and when their corps +happened to be marching in our front, any officer who stopped behind, +(which they frequently had occasion to do,) invariably, in returning +to rejoin his regiment, passed ours at a full gallop; and on those +occasions he had no sooner passed our first company than the officers +of it were hard at his heels, the others following in succession as +he cleared them, so that by the time he had reached the head of the +regiment the whole of our officers had been in full chace. We never +carried the joke too far, but made it a point of etiquette to stop +short of our commanding officer, (who was not supposed to see what was +going on,) and then fell quietly back to our respective places. + +I have often seen the hunted devil look round in astonishment, but I +do not think he ever saw the wit of the thing, and for that matter I +don't know that my readers will feel that they are much wiser, but +it was nevertheless amusing to us; and not without its use, for the +soldiers enjoyed the joke, which, though trifling, helped to keep up +that larking spirit among them, which contributed so much towards +the superiority and the glory of our arms. In times of hardship and +privation the officer cannot be too much alive to the seizing of every +opportunity, no matter how ridiculous, if it serves to beguile the +soldier of his cares. + +On the 1st of April we again closed up with the enemy on the banks of +the Coa, near Sabugal. It was a wet muggy afternoon near dusk when we +arrived at our ground, and I was sent, with the company which I had +charge of, on picquet to cover the left front of our position. + +The enemy held an opposite post on our side of the river, and I was +ordered if they were civil to me not to interfere with them, but in the +event of the reverse, to turn them over to their own side. My stomach +was more bent upon eating than fighting that evening, and I was glad +to find that they proved to be _gentlemen_, and allowed me to post my +sentries as close as I pleased without interruption. + +I found one of our German hussar videttes on a rising ground near me, +and received an order from my brigadier to keep him there until he +was relieved, and I accordingly placed a rifleman alongside of him +for his better security, but after keeping him an hour or two in the +dark and no relief appearing, I was forced to let him go or to share +my slender allowance with him, for the poor fellow (as well as his +horse) was starving. I have seen the day, however, that I would rather +have dispensed with my dinner (however sharp set) than the services +of one of those thorough-bred soldiers, for they were as singularly +intelligent and useful on outpost duty, as they were effective and +daring in the field. + +The first regiment of hussars were associated with our division +throughout the war and were deserved favourites. In starting from a +swampy couch and bowling along the road long ere dawn of day, it was +one of the romances of a soldier's life to hear them chanting their +national war songs--some three or four voices leading and the whole +squadron joining in the chorus. As I have already said, they were no +less daring in the field than they were surpassingly good on out-post +duty. The hussar was at all times identified with his horse, he shared +his bed and his board, and their movements were always regulated by the +importance of their mission. If we saw a British dragoon at any time +approaching in full speed, it excited no great curiosity among us, but +whenever we saw one of the first hussars coming on at a gallop it was +high time to gird on our swords and bundle up. + +Their chief, too, was a perfect soldier, and worthy of being the leader +of such a band, for he was to them what the gallant Beckwith was to +us--a father, as well as a leader. + +He was one who never could be caught napping. They tell a good +anecdote of him after the battle of Toulouse, when the news arrived +of the capture of Paris and Bonaparte's abdication. A staff officer +was sent to his outpost quarter to apprise him of the cessation of +hostilities--it was late when the officer arrived, and after hearing +the news, the colonel proceeded to turn into bed as usual, "all +standing," when the officer remarked with some surprise, "Why, colonel, +you surely don't mean to sleep in your clothes to-night, when you know +there is an armistice?" + +"Air mistress or no air mistress," replied the veteran, "by Got I +sleeps in my breeches!" + +We remained another day in front of Sabugal, and as it was known +that Reynier held that post with his single corps unsupported, Lord +Wellington resolved to punish him for his temerity. + +The day dawned on the morning of the 3d of April, however, rather +inauspiciously. Aurora did not throw off her night-cap at the usual +hour, and when she could no longer delay the ceremony she shed such +an abundance of dewy tears that Sabugal, with its steel-clad heights, +remained invisible to the naked eye at the distance of a few hundred +yards, which interfered materially with that punctuality in the +combined movements so necessary to ensure the complete success of our +enterprize. Leaving, therefore, to those concerned to account for their +delays, my object in renewing this battle is to pay a last tribute to +the memory of Sir Sidney Beckwith, the hero of that day. + +He, as he had been directed, moved his brigade to a ford of the Coa, +and was there waiting further orders, when a staff officer rode up, and +hastily demanded why he had not attacked? + +Beckwith was an actor of the immortal Nelson's principle--that if +a commander is in doubt he never can do wrong in placing himself +alongside of the enemy. We instantly uncorked our muzzle-stoppers, off +with our lock-caps, and our four companies of riflemen, led through +the river, (which was deep and rapid,) followed by the 43d, driving in +the enemy's picquet which defended it. The officer commanding, left his +sky-blue cloak fluttering in the breeze on the top of a furze bush, +and I felt a monstrous inclination to transfer it to my own shoulders, +for it was an article of which I happened, at that moment, to be in +especial want; but as it was the beginning of a battle in place of the +end of one, and I had an insurmountable objection to fight under false +colours, I passed it by. + +As soon as we gained the summit of the hill it became as clear as +the mist that we were regularly in for it. Beckwith, finding himself +alone and unsupported, in close action, with only hundreds to oppose +to the enemy's thousands, at once saw and felt all the danger of his +situation; but he was just the man to grapple with any odds, being +in his single person a host--of a tall commanding figure and noble +countenance, with a soul equal to his appearance--he was as Napier +says, "a man equal to rally an army in flight." + +Our four companies had led up in skirmishing order, driving in the +enemy's light troops; but the summit was defended by a strong compact +body, against which we could make no head; but opening out, and +allowing the 43d to advance, they, with a tearing volley and a charge, +sent the enemy rolling into the valley below, when the rifles again +went to work in front, sticking to them like leeches. + +The hill we had just gained became our rally-post for the remainder of +the day, and, notwithstanding the odds on the side of the enemy, they +were never able to wrest it from us. Our force was as well handled as +theirs was badly, so that in the successive and desperate encounters +which took place, both in advance and in retreat, we were as often to +be seen in their position as they were in ours. + +Beckwith himself was the life and soul of the fray; he had been the +successful leader of those who were then around him in many a bloody +field, and his calm, clear, commanding voice was distinctly heard amid +the roar of battle, and cheerfully obeyed. He had but single companies +to oppose to the enemy's battalions; but, strange as it may appear, I +saw him twice lead successful charges with but two companies of the +43d, against an advancing mass of the enemy. His front, it is true, was +equal to theirs, and such was his daring, and such the confidence which +these hardy soldiers had in him, that they went as fiercely to work +single-handed as if the whole army had been at their heels. + +Beckwith's manner of command on those occasions was nothing more than +a familiar sort of conversation with the soldier. To give an idea of +it I may as well mention that in the last charge I saw him make with +two companies of the 43d, he found himself at once opposed to a fresh +column in front, and others advancing on both flanks, and, seeing the +necessity for immediate retreat, he called out, "Now, my lads, we'll +just go back a little if you please." On hearing which every man began +to run, when he shouted again, "No, no, I don't mean that--we are in no +hurry--we'll just walk quietly back, and you can give them a shot as +you go along." This was quite enough, and was obeyed to the letter--the +retiring force keeping up a destructive fire, and regulating their +movements by his, as he rode quietly back in the midst of them, +conversing aloud in a cheerful encouraging manner--his eye all the +while intently watching the enemy to take advantage of circumstances. +A musket-ball had, in the meantime, shaved his forehead, and the blood +was streaming down his countenance, which added not a little to the +exciting interest of his appearance. As soon as we had got a little way +up the face of our hill, he called out, "Now, my men, this will do--let +us shew them our teeth again!" This was obeyed as steadily as if the +words halt, front, had been given on parade, and our line was instantly +in battle array, while Beckwith, shaking his fist in the faces of the +advancing foe, called out to them, "Now, you rascals, come on here if +you dare!" Those he addressed shewed no want of courage, but, for a +while, came boldly on to the tune of _old trousers_,[C] notwithstanding +the fearful havoc we were making in their ranks; but they could not +screw themselves up the long disputed hill--the 52d (two battalions) +had, by this time, come into the line of battle, and were plying them +hard on the right, while our rifles were peppering them on their front +and left, and, as soon as they came near enough, another dash by +Beckwith, at the head of the 43d, gave them the _coup de grace_. The +fate of the day was now decided--the net which had been wove in the +morning, and which the state of the weather had prevented being brought +to a crisis as soon as was intended, now began to tighten around +them--the 5th division crossed by the bridge of Sabugal, and the 3d, +(I believe,) by a ford to the right--and Reynier, seeing no hopes of +salvation but by immediate flight, very speedily betook himself to it, +and, I believe, saved all that did not fall on the field of battle--a +piece of good fortune of which his conduct that day shewed him +undeserving, for, had not the extraordinary state of the weather caused +the delays and mistakes which took place on our side, he could scarcely +have taken a man out of the field. + + [C] _Old trousers_ was a name given by our soldiers to the + point of war which is beat by the French drummers in + advancing to the charge. I have, when skirmishing in + a wood, and a French regiment coming up to the relief + of the opposing skirmishers, often heard the drum + long before we saw them, and, on those occasions, our + riflemen immediately began calling to each other, from + behind the different bushes, "Holloa there! look sharp! + for damn me, but here comes old trousers!" + +While standing in our last position, awaiting the attack in our front, +I was much amused in observing, on the opposite height, the approach +of our 3d division, unnoticed by the enemy--a French column occupied +the top of what seemed to be almost a precipice overlooking the river; +but I observed some of the 60th rifles clambering up the face of it on +all fours, and, to see their astonishment, when they poked their heads +over the brink, to find themselves within a couple of yards of a French +column! They, of course, immediately concealed themselves under the +bank; but it was curious to observe that they were unseen by the enemy, +who were imprudent enough either to consider themselves secure on that +side, or to give all their attention to the fight going on between +their comrades and us; but certain it is they allowed the riflemen to +gather there in formidable numbers. As we advanced immediately, the +intervening rising ground prevented my seeing what took place, but on +crowning the opposite height, which the French had just evacuated, +we found, by the bodies on the ground, that they had just received a +volley from a part of the third division--and one of the most deadly +which had been fired that day. + +Our cavalry had been astray during the fight, but they afterwards made +two or three ineffectual attempts to break in upon the enemy's line of +retreat. + +Immediately after the action, we drew up behind an old cow-shed, which +Lord Wellington occupied for a short time, while it poured torrents of +rain. Sir William Erskine, with some of his horsemen, joined us there, +and I heard him say to the commander-in-chief that he claimed no merit +for the victory, as it belonged alone to Sidney Beckwith! I believe his +lordship wanted no conjurer to tell him so, and did ample justice to +the combatants, by stating in his dispatch that "this was one of the +most glorious actions that British troops were ever engaged in." + +To those accustomed to the vicissitudes of warfare it is no less +curious to remark the many miraculous escapes from wounds than the +recovery from them. As an instance of the former, I may observe, that, +in the course of the action just related, I was addressing a passing +remark to an officer near me, who, in turning round to answer, raised +his right foot, and I observed a grape shot tear up the print which it +had but that instant left in the mud. As an instance of the latter I +shall here relate, (though rather misplaced,) that, at the storming of +Badajos, in April, 1812, one of our officers got a musket-ball in the +right ear, which came out at the back of the neck, and, though after +a painful illness, he recovered, yet his head got a twist, and he was +compelled to wear it, looking over the right shoulder. At the battle of +Waterloo, in 1815, (having been upwards of three years with his neck +awry,) he received a shot in the left ear, which came out within half +an inch of his former wound in the back of the neck, and it set his +head straight again! + +This is an anecdote which I should scarcely have dared to relate were +it not that, independent of my personal knowledge of the facts, the +hero of it still lives to speak for himself, residing on his property, +in Nottinghamshire, alike honoured and respected as a civilian, as he +was loved and esteemed as a gentleman and a gallant soldier.[D] + + [D] Lieutenant Worsley. + +After the action at Sabugal our brigade was placed under cover in the +town, and a wild night it proved--the lightning flashed--the winds +howled--and the rains rained. The house occupied by my brother sub and +myself was a two-story one, and floored after the manner of some of +our modern piers, with the boards six inches apart, and transferrable, +if necessary, to a wider range, without the trouble of extracting or +unscrewing nails. + +The upper floor, as the most honoured portion, was assigned to us, +while the first was reserved for the accommodation of some ten or a +dozen well-starved inmates. + +We had scarcely proceeded to dry our clothes, and to masticate the few +remaining crumbs of biscuit, when we received a deputation from the +lower regions, craving permission to join the mess; but, excepting the +scrapings of our haversacks, we had literally nothing for ourselves, +and were forced to turn a deaf ear to their entreaties, for there was +no making them believe we were as destitute as we seemed. It was one +of those cruel scenes to which the seats of war alone can furnish +parallels, for their wan and wasted countenances shewed that they were +wildly in want. + +The following day saw Portugal cleared of its invaders, and the British +standard once more unfurled within the Spanish boundary. + +The French army retired behind the Agueda, and our division took +possession of a portion of its former quarters, Fuentes d'Onoro, +Gallegos, and Espeja. There we enjoyed a few days repose, of which we +stood in much need, it having been exactly a month since we broke up in +front of Santarem, and, as the foregoing pages shew, it was not spent +in idleness. + + + + +CHAP. VIII. + + National Characters. Adventures of a pair of leather Breeches. + Ditto of a pound of Beef. Shewing what the French General did + not do, and a Prayer which he did not pray; with a few random + Shots. + + +Fuentes, which was our first resting place, was a very handsome +village, and every family so well known to the light division, that no +matter into which quarter the billet fell, the individual was received +as an old and approved friend. + +The change from Portugal into Spain, as alluded to in my first work, +was very striking. In the former the monkish cowl seemed even on +ordinary occasions to be drawn over the face of nature; for though +their sun was a heavenly one, it shone over a dark and bigotted race; +and though they were as ripe for mischief as those of more enlightened +nations, yet even in that they were woefully defective, and their +joys seemed often sadly miscalled. But at the time I speak of, as if +to shroud every thing in unfathomable gloom, the ravages of the enemy +had turned thousands of what (to them) were happy homes, into as many +hells--their domestic peace ruined--their houses and furniture fired, +and every countenance bearing the picture of melancholy and wan despair. + +Their damsels' cheeks wore no roses, yet did they wear soil enough on +which to rear them. But at the same time be it remarked that I quarrel +not with the countenance but with the soil, for I am a pale lover +myself. + +In Spain, on the contrary, health and joy seemed to beam on every +countenance, and comfort in every dwelling. I have observed some +writers quarrel with my former statement on this subject, and maintain +that though the difference in appearance was remarkable, that so +far as regards the article of cleanliness, the facts were not so. +With these, however, I must still differ after giving every thing due +consideration. The Portuguese did not assume to be a cleanly race, +and they were a filthy one in reality. The Spaniards did affect to +be the former, and I do think that they approached it as nearly as +may be. I allude to the peasantry, for the upper and middling classes +sink into immeasurable contempt in the comparison, but their peasantry +I still maintain are as fine and as cleanly a class as I ever saw. +Their dress is remarkably handsome, and though I can give no opinion +as to the weekly value of soap expended on their manly countenances, +yet in regard to the shirt, which is their greatest pride, and neatly +embroidered in the bosom according to the position of the wearer in +the minds of those on whom that portion of the ornamental devolves, I +can vouch for their having shewn a clean one as often as need be. And +though I do not feel myself at liberty to enter into the details of the +dress of their lovely black-eyed damsels, I may be permitted to say +that it is highly becoming to them; and, in short, I should have some +dread of staking our national credit by parading the inmates of any +chance village of our own against a similar one of theirs. + +Their houses too are remarkably neat and cleanly, and would be +comfortable were it not for those indefatigable villainous insects that +play at a perpetual hop, skip, and jump, giving occasional pinches +to the exposed parts of the inmate; and yet what warm country is +exempt from them or something worse. Go into boasted America, and so +great is the liberty of all classes there, that what with the hum of +the musquitto above, and the bug below the blanket, the unfortunate +wight, as I can testify, is regularly _hum-bugged_ out of his natural +repose. As I have taken a trip across the Atlantic for the foregoing +example, I cannot resist giving an anecdote to shew that our brethren +on that side of the water sometimes have a night's rest sacrificed to +_inexpressible_ causes as well as natural ones. + +A gentleman at the head of the law there, (not the hangman,) told me +that in his early days while the roads were yet in their infancy, he +was in the habit of going his circuit on horseback, with nothing but +a change of linen tacked to his crupper--that one day he had been +overtaken by a shower of rain before he could reach the lonely cottage, +which he had destined for his night's repose--and that it interfered +materially with the harmony which had hitherto existed between him +and his leather breeches, for he felt uncomfortable in them, and he +felt uncomfortable out of them, arising from the dread that he might +never be able to get into them again. His landlady, however, succeeded +in allaying his fears for the moment, and having lent him one of her +nether garments for present use, she finally consigned him to bed, with +injunctions to sleep undisturbed, for that she would take especial +care, while they underwent the necessary fiery ordeal, that she would +put that within which should preserve their capacities undiminished. + +Notwithstanding the satisfactory assurance on the part of the dame, a +doubt continued still to hang on the mind of the man in the petticoat; +and as "the mind disturbed denies the body rest," so was every attempt +of his to close an eye, met by the vision of a pair of shrivelled +leathers, until at length in a fit of feverish excitement he started +from his couch determined to know the worst; and throwing open the door +of the kitchen, he, to his no small astonishment, beheld his leathers +not only filled, but well filled too, by the landlady herself, who +there stood in them, toasting and turning round and round; neither so +gracefully nor so fast as Taglioni, perhaps, but still she kept turning +all the same; and it, most probably, was the smoke arising from the +lawyer's wet leathers which Tom Moore saw curling so gracefully above +the green elms when he wrote the Woodpecker. + +But to return to the Peninsula. While it must be admitted that the +hidalgo's evil is the lesser, I could, nevertheless, wish that the +good old Spaniard would march a little more with the spirit of the +times, for by the ordinary use of a small-tooth comb, he might be +enabled to limit his _hair_ hunting to the sports of the field. + +The day after our arrival at Fuentes I was amused to hear one of our +soldiers describing to a comrade his last night's fare in the new +quarter. Soon after his taking possession of it, three days' rations +had been served out to him, and his landlady, after reconnoitring it +for a while with a wistful eye, at length proposed that they should +mess together while he remained in their house, to which he readily +assented; and by way of making a fair beginning, he cut off about a +pound of the beef which he handed over to her, but at the same time +allowing her about as much play with it as a cat does to a mouse--a +precaution which he had reason to rejoice in, for he presently found +it transferred to a kettle then boiling on the fire, containing, as +he said, thirteen buckets of water, in which his pound of beef was +floating about like a cork in the middle of the ocean! "Hilloah, my +nice woman, says I, if you and I are to mess together I'll just trouble +you to take out twelve buckets and a half of that water, and in place +thereof, that you will be pleased to put in a pound of beef for every +mouth which you intend shall keep mine in company--and if you choose to +give some butter or a slice or two of bacon in addition, I shall not +object to it, but I'll have none of your gammon!" The dispute ended in +the rifleman's being obliged to fish out his pound of beef and keep it +under his own protection. + +Our repose in Fuentes was short. The garrison of Almeida was blockaded +with a fortnight's provision only, and two companies of ours under +Colonel Cameron were immediately dispatched to shoot their bullocks +while grazing on the ramparts, which still further contracted their +means of subsistence. + +Lord Wellington had in the mean time hurried off to the south in +consequence of the pressing importance of the operations of the corps +under Marshal Beresford, leaving the main army for the time being under +the command of Sir Brent Spencer. In the afternoon of the 16th of April +we were hastily ordered under arms, and passing through Gallegos we +were halted behind a hill on the banks of the Agueda, when we found +that the movement had been occasioned by the passing of a convoy +of provisions which the enemy were attempting to throw into Ciudad +Rodrigo, and which was at that moment with its escort of two hundred +men shut up in some inclosures of stone walls within half a mile of us +surrounded by our dragoons. + +I don't know how it happened, but we were kept there inactive for a +couple of hours with eight thousand men sending in summonses for them +to surrender, when a couple of our idle guns would have sent the loose +wall about their ears and made them but too happy to be allowed to do +so. But as it was, the garrison of Ciudad Rodrigo came out and carried +them off triumphantly from under our noses. + + "There's nae luck about the house, + There's nae luck ava; + There's nae luck about the house, + When our gude man's awa." + +This was the most critical period of the whole war; the destinies not +only of England but of Europe hung upon it, and all hinged on the +shoulders of one man,--that man was Wellington! I believe there were +few even of those who served under him capable of knowing, still less +of appreciating, the nature of the master-mind which there, with God's +assistance, ruled all things; for he was not only the head of the army +but obliged to descend to the responsibility of every department in +it. In the different branches of their various duties, he received +the officers in charge, as ignorant as schoolboys, and, by his energy +and unwearied perseverance, he made them what they became--the most +renowned army that Europe ever saw. Wherever he went at its head, glory +followed its steps--wherever he was not--I will not say disgrace, +but something near akin to it ensued, for it is singular enough +to remark that of all the distinguished generals who held separate +commands in that army throughout the war Lord Hill alone (besides +the commander-in-chief) came out of it with his fame untarnished +by any palpable error. In all his battles Lord Wellington appeared +to us never to leave any thing to chance. However desperate the +undertaking--whether suffering under momentary defeat, or imprudently +hurried on by partial success--we ever felt confident that a redeeming +power was at hand, nor were we ever deceived. Those only, too, who +have served under such a master-mind and one of inferior calibre can +appreciate the difference in a physical as well as a moral point of +view--for when in the presence of the enemy, under him, we were never +deprived of our personal comforts until prudence rendered it necessary, +and they were always restored to us again at the earliest possible +moment. Under the temporary command of others we have been deprived of +our baggage for weeks through the timidity of our chief, and without +the shadow of necessity; and it is astonishing in what a degree the +vacillation and want of confidence in a commander descends into the +different ranks. + +Of all the commanders in that army at the period I speak of, none +stood more distinguished than he who was for the moment our head (the +gallant Spencer,) and yet, singularly enough, the moment he was left to +himself, not only his usual daring but all spirit of enterprise seemed +to have forsaken him. Witness the escape of the French detachment +as just related, as well as the various subsequent movements under +him; whereas, within a few days, when in the field of Fuentes under +Wellington, he was himself again. + +While halted behind the hill already mentioned, I got my first +look at the celebrated Guerilla chief, Don Julian Sanchez. He was +a middling-sized thick-set fellow, with a Spanish complexion, well +whiskered and mustached, with glossy black hair, and dressed in a +hussar uniform. The peasantry of that part of the country used to tell +rather a romantic story of the cause which induced him to take up +arms,--namely, that the French had maltreated and afterwards murdered +his wife and family before his face, besides firing his house, (cause +enough in all conscience,) and for which he amply revenged himself, +for he became the most celebrated throat-cutter in that part of the +world. His band when he first took the field did not exceed fifty +men, but about the period I speak of his ranks had swelled to about +fifteen hundred. They were a contemptible force in the field, but +brave, enterprising, and useful in their mountain fastnesses--in +cutting off supplies and small detachments. I did not see his troops +until some time after, when his heavy dragoons one day crossed our line +of march. They afterwards cut a more respectable figure; but at that +period they looked a regular set of ragamuffins, wearing cocked hats +with broad white lace round the edges; yellow coats, with many more +than button-holes, and red facings; breeches of various colours and no +stockings, but a sort of shoe on the foot with a spur attached, and +their arms were as various as their colours; some with lances, some +with carabines, and in short, every one seemed as if he had equipped +himself in whatever the fortune of war had thrown in his way. + +As the battle of Fuentes approached, our life became one of perpetual +motion, and when I raised my head from its stone pillow in the morning, +it was a subject of speculation to guess within a league of its next +resting place, although we were revolving within a very limited space. +Nothing clings so tenaciously to my mind as the remembrance of the +different spots on which I have passed a night. Out of six years +campaigning it is probable that I slept at least half the period under +the open canopy of heaven, (barring latterly a sheet of canvas,) and +though more than twenty years have since rolled over my head, I think I +could still point out my every resting place. + +On the night of the 1st of May I was sent from Alameda with thirty +riflemen and six dragoons to watch a ford of the Agueda. The French +held a post on the opposite side--but at daylight in the morning I +found they had disappeared. Seeing a Spanish peasant descending on the +opposite bank--and the river not being fordable to a person on foot, +while its continuous roaring through its rugged course drowned every +other voice--I detached one of the dragoons, who brought him over +behind him, and as he told me that the French were, at that moment, on +the move to the left, I immediately transmitted the information to head +quarters. I was soon after ordered to join my battalion, which I found +lodged in a stubble field about half way between Gallegos and Alameda, +on a piece of rising ground which we had christened Kraüchenberg's +hill, in compliment to that gallant captain of German hussars, who, +with his single troop, had made a brilliant and successful charge from +it the year before on the enemy's advancing horsemen. + +The following night we had gone to bed in the village of Espeja, but +were called to arms in the middle of it, and took post in the wood +behind. + +With the enemy close upon us, our position was any thing but a safe +one; but, as it included a conical hill, which commanded a view of +their advance, Lord Wellington was anxious to retain it until the last +possible moment. + +The chief of the German hussars, who covered the reconnoitring party, +looked rather blank when he found, next morning, that the infantry +were in the act of withdrawing, and tried hard to persuade Beckwith to +leave two companies of riflemen as a support, assuring him that all the +cavalry in the world were unable to harm them in such a cover; but as +the cover was, in reality, but a sprinkling of the Spanish oaks, our +chief found it prudent to lend his deaf ear to the request. However, +we all eventually reached the position of Fuentes unmolested--a piece +of good luck which we had no right to expect, considering the military +character of our adversaries, and the nature of the ground we had to +pass over. + +Having been one of the combatants in that celebrated field, and having +already given a history of the battle such as the fates decreed, it +only remains with me, following the example of other historians, to +_favour_ the public with my observations thereon. + +In the course of my professional career several events have occurred +to bother my subaltern notions on the principles of the art of war, +and none more than the battle of Fuentes; but to convey a just idea +of what I mean to advance, it is necessary that I should describe +the ground, and while those who choose, may imagine that they see it +sketched by one who never before drew any thing but the cork out of a +bottle, or a month's pay out of the hands of the pay-master, others, +whose imaginations are not so lively, must be contented in supposing +themselves standing, with an army of thirty thousand men, between the +streams of the Tourones and Dos Casas, with our right resting on Nava +d'Aver, and our left on Fort Conception, a position extending seven +miles. + +The French advanced from Rodrigo with forty-five thousand men to +relieve their garrison, which we had shut up in Almeida, which is +in rear of our left--and in place of going the straight road to it, +through Alameda and Fort Conception, Massena spreads his army along our +whole front, and finally attacks the most distant part of it, (Nava +d'Aver.) + +That, I believe, was all strictly according to rule, for the purpose +of preserving his base of operations; but I am labouring to shew that +it was an occasion on which Massena might and ought to have set every +rule at defiance, for, in possession of a strong fortress under his own +lee, and another under that of his adversary, with an army in the field +exceeding ours by a fourth, he ought to have known that no possible +cast of the dice could have enabled us to do more than maintain the +blockade--that, if we gave him a defeat it was impossible for us to +follow it up, and if he defeated us our ruin was almost inevitable--in +short, had I been Prince of Essling, I would have thrust every thing +but my fighting men under the protection of the guns of Rodrigo, and +left myself, free and unfettered, to go where I liked, do what I could, +and, if need be, to change bases with my adversary; and it is odd to me +if I would not have cut such capers as would have astonished the great +Duke himself. + +From Fuentes to Alameda, a distance of between two and three miles, +trusting to the ruggedness of the banks of the Dos Casos, the position +was nearly altogether unoccupied on our side, and had Massena but +taken the trouble to wade through that stream as often as I had, +sometimes for love and sometimes for duty, he would have found that +it was passable in fifty places--and, as the ground permitted it, had +he assembled twenty thousand infantry there, to be thrust over at +day-light, and held the rest of his army in readiness to pounce upon +the wing to be attacked--and, had he prayed too, as did the Scottish +knight of old, (who had more faith in his good sword than in the +justice of his cause,) in these words, "O, Lord, we all know that +the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong, and that, +whichever side you take, will be sure to win; but, if you will, for +this once, stand aside, and leave us two to fight it out, I shall be +for ever obliged to you"--he might then have commenced the day's work +with a tolerable prospect of success--for, if half the twenty thousand +men, on reaching the top of the hill, remained to keep the one wing in +check, and the remainder turned against the flank of the devoted one, +while his main army took it in front, they would have had good cause to +feel ashamed of themselves if they did not dispose of it long before +human aid could have reached, and odd would it have been if the others +had not then considered it high time to be off. + +What alterations Lord Wellington would have made in his dispositions +had he found himself opposed to one who held such fighting views as +I do, it is not for me to say; but it is evident that he estimated +Massena at his full value when he persisted in holding such an extended +position with an inferior army, while the other, with his superior +force, was satisfied with battering a portion of his best regimental[E] +brains out against the stone walls about Fuentes, and retiring, at +last, without attaining the object of his advance. + + [E] The most formidable attack there on the 5th was made + by his most choice troops, and they succeeded in + penetrating to the high ground behind the church, + where they were met by a brigade of the 3d division, + and routed with great slaughter. One of the wounded + prisoners pointed out to me the body of a captain of + grenadiers, (whose name I forget,) who was renowned in + their army for his daring. + +The foregoing reflections will, no doubt, to many, appear wild; but, +with a tolerable knowledge of the ground, and of the comparative +strength, I am not the less satisfied that my plan may be often tried +with success. + +In speaking of distance, however, it must not be forgotten that +in war the opposing bodies come together with wonderful celerity; +for, although soldiers do not see so far as severed lovers, who, +by transmitting their looks at each other through the moon or some +favoured star, contrive to kill space more quickly, yet the soldier, +who has no great stomach for the battle, and sees his enemy in the +morning almost out of sight, begins to reckon himself secure for that +day, must be rather astonished when he finds how soon a cannon-ball +makes up the difference between them! + +Packenham, (the gallant Sir Edward,) who was then adjutant-general, led +the brigade of the third division, which restored the battle in the +village. He came to us immediately after, faint with excitement, where +we were standing in reserve, and asked if any officer could oblige him +with some wine or brandy--a calabash was unslung for his use, and after +taking a small sip out of it, and eulogizing, in the handsomest manner, +the conduct of the troops, he left us to renew his exertions wherever +they might be wanted. He was as gallant a spirit as ever went into a +field! + +Lord Wellington, in those days, (as he was aware,) was always +designated among the soldiers by the name of _Old Douro_. The morning +after the battle, the celebrated D. M. of the guards, rode up to a +group of staff officers, and demanded if any of them had seen Beau +Douro this morning? His Lordship, who was there reclining on the ground +in his boat-cloak, started up, and said, "Well! by ---- I never knew +I was a beau before!" The same morning that officer came galloping +to us with an order--our chief, (Sidney Beckwith,) who was never on +horseback except when his duty required it, had the greatest horror +of the approach of a staff officer, who generally came at full speed +until within a yard or two--seeing M. coming on as usual on his fiery +dark chesnut, he began waving his hand for him to stop before he had +got within fifty yards, and calling out, "Aye, aye, that will do! we'll +hear all you have got to say quite well enough!" + +Among the many great and goodly names of general officers which the +Army-list furnished, it was lamentable to see that some were sent +from England, to commands in that army, who were little better than +old wives,[F] and who would have been infinitely more at home in +feeding the pigs and the poultry of a farm-yard than in furnishing +food for powder in the field; yet so it was:--the neglect of such an +one to deliver an order with which he had been entrusted, lost us the +fame and the fruits of our victory, it prevented a gallant regiment +from occupying the important post intended for it, and it cost that +regiment its gallant chief, whose nice sense of honour could see no way +of removing the stain which the neglect of his superior had cast upon +his reputation, than by placing a pistol to his own head. His fate was +sadly and deeply deplored by the whole army. + + [F] No allusion to the last-mentioned officer, who was one + of another stamp. + +As this particular period furnished few occurrences to vary the +monotony of the hammer-and-tongs sort of life we led, I shall take +advantage of the opportunity it affords to fire a few random shots for +the amusement of my readers. + + +SHOT THE FIRST. + +_The Duel._ + +On reaching Paris, after the battle of Waterloo, we found Johnny Petit +in very bad humour; and that three out of every four of the officers +in each army were not disposed of by private contract, with pistols +and small swords, must be ascribed to our ignorance alike of their +language and their national method of conveying offence; for, in regard +to the first, although we were aware that the _sacre boeuftake_ and +_sacre pomme de terre_, with which we were constantly saluted, were +not applied complimentarily, yet, as the connecting offensive links +were lost to most of us, these words alone were not looked upon as +of a nature requiring _satisfaction_; and, with regard to practical +insults, a favourite one of theirs, as we afterwards discovered, was to +tread, as if by accident, on the toe of the person to be insulted. Now, +as the natural impulse of the Englishman, on having his toe trodden +on, is to make a sort of apology to the person who did it, by way of +relieving him of a portion of the embarrassment which he expects to be +the attendant of such awkwardness, many thousand insults of the kind +passed unnoticed:--the Frenchman flattering himself that he had done a +bold thing,--the Englishman a handsome one; whereas, had the character +of the tread been distinctly understood, it would, no doubt, have been +rewarded on the spot by _our_ national method--a douse on the chops! +However, be that as it may, my business is to record the result of one +in which there was no misunderstanding; and, as some one has justly +remarked, "when people are all of one mind, it is astonishing how well +they agree." + +It occurred at an early hour in the morning, at one of those seminaries +for grown children so common in Paris, and the parties (a French +officer and one of ours) agreed to meet at day-light, which left +them but brief space for preparation, so that when they arrived on +the ground, and their fighting irons were paraded, the Frenchman's +were found to consist of a brace of pocket-pistols, with finger-sized +barrels,--while our officer had a huge horse pistol, which he had +borrowed from the quarter-master, and which looked, in the eyes of the +astonished Frenchman, like a six-pounder, the bore of it being large +enough to swallow the stocks, locks, and barrels of his brace, with the +ball-bag and powder-horn into the bargain; and he, therefore, protested +vehemently against the propriety of exposing himself to such fearful +odds, which being readily admitted on the other side, they referred the +decision to a halfpenny whether they should take alternate shots with +the large, or one each with the small. + +The Fates decreed in favour of the small arms; and, the combatants +having taken their ground, they both fired at a given signal, when +the result was that the Frenchman's pistol burst, and blew away his +finger, while our man blew away his ramrod; and as they had no longer +the means of continuing the fight, they voted that they were a brace +of good fellows, and after shaking the Frenchman by his other three +fingers, our officer accompanied him home to breakfast. + + +SHOT THE SECOND. + +_Cannon-Law._ + +While stationed, in the province of Artois, with the Army of +Occupation, one of our soldiers committed a most aggravated case +of highway-robbery upon a Frenchwoman, for which he was tried by a +court-martial, condemned, and suffered death within three days. About +a fortnight after, when the whole affair had nearly been forgotten +by us, the French report of the outrage, after having gone through +its routine of the different official functionaries, made its +appearance at our head-quarters, describing the atrocious nature of +the offence, and calling for vengeance on the head of the offender. +The commander-in-chief's reply was, as usual, short, but to the +purpose:--The man was hanged for it ten days ago. + + +SHOT THE THIRD. + +_Civil Law._ + +Whilst on the station mentioned in the foregoing anecdote, two of our +medical officers went in a gig, on a short tour, in the neighbourhood +of our cantonments, and having unconsciously passed the line of +demarkation, they were pulled up on their entrance into the first town +they came to, for the payment of the usual toll; but they claimed a +right to be exempted from it on the score of their being officers of +the Army of Occupation. The collector of the customs, however, being +of a different opinion, and finding his oratorical powers thrown away +upon them, very prudently called to his aid one of those men-at-arms +with which every village in France is so very considerately furnished. +That functionary, squaring his cocked hat, giving his mustachoes a +couple of twists, and announcing that he was as brave as a lion, as +brave as the devil, and sundry other characters of noted courage, +he, by way of illustration, drew his sword, and making half-a-dozen +furious strokes at the paving stones, made the sparks fly from them +like lightning. Seeing that the first half dozen had failed to extract +the requisite quantity of sous, he was proceeding to give half-a-dozen +more, but his sword broke at the first, and our two knights of the +lancet, having fewer scruples about surrendering to him as an unarmed +than an armed man, made no further difficulty in accompanying him to +the municipal magistrate. + +That worthy, after hearing both sides of the case with becoming +gravity, finally sentenced our two travellers to pay for the repairs +of the sword which had been so courageously broken in defence of their +civic rights. + + +SHOT THE FOURTH. + +_Sword Law._ + +At the commencement of the battle of Waterloo, three companies of our +riflemen held a sand bank, in front of the position, and abreast of La +Haye Saint, which we clung to most tenaciously, and it was not until +we were stormed in front and turned in both flanks that we finally +left it. Previous to doing so, however, a French officer rushed out of +their ranks and made a dash at one of ours, but neglecting the prudent +precaution of calculating the chances of success before striking the +first blow, it cost him his life. The officer he stormed happened to +be a gigantic highlander about six feet and a half--and, like most big +men, slow to wrath, but a fury when roused. The Frenchman held that in +his hand which was well calculated to bring all sizes upon a level--a +good small sword--but as he had forgotten to put on his spectacles, +his first (and last) thrust passed by the body and lodged in the +highlander's left arm. Saunders's blood was now up (as well as down) +and with our then small regulation half-moon sabre, better calculated +to shave a lady's-maid than a Frenchman's head, he made it descend on +the pericranium of his unfortunate adversary with a force which snapped +it at the hilt. His next dash was with his fist (and the hilt in it) +smack in his adversary's face, which sent him to the earth; and though +I grieve to record it, yet as the truth must be told, I fear me that +the chivalrous Frenchman died an ignominious death, viz. by a kick. But +where one's own life is at stake, we must not be too particular. + + +SHOT THE FIFTH. + +_Love Law._ + +Of all the evils with which a sober community can be cursed, there is +none so great as a guard-house; for while the notable house-wife is +superintending the scouring of her kitchen coppers, and the worthy +citizen is selling his sweets, the daughters are as surely to be found +lavishing their's upon their gaudy neighbour, while the nursery-maid +standing a story higher is to be seen sending her regards a step +lower--into the sentry-box. + +Though many years have now passed away, I remember as if but yesterday, +my first guard mounting, in a certain garrison town which shall be +nameless. After performing the first usual routine of military duties, +my next was, as a matter of course, to reconnoitre the neighbourhood; +for if a house happened to be within range of the officer's beat, +he seldom had to look for an adventure in vain,--nor had I on the +occasion alluded to. The station was in the centre of a populous city, +the purlieus were genteel, and at the window of one of the opposite +houses I soon descried a bevy of maidens who seemed to be regarding me +with no small curiosity. + +Eyes met eyes which looked again, and as all seemed to go merry as a +marriage bell, I took out my pencil and motioned as if I would write, +which meeting with an approving smile, I straightway indited an epistle +suitable to the occasion, and shewing it to them when ready, I strolled +past the door, where, as I expected, I found a fair hand which seemed +to belong to nobody, in readiness to receive it. + +In the course of a few minutes I received a note from the same +mysterious hand, desiring to be informed for which of the group my last +effusion was intended; and though the question was rather a puzzler to +a person who had never seen them before, and, even then, too far off to +be able to distinguish whether their eyes were green or yellow, yet I +very judiciously requested that my correspondent would accept it on her +own account. It was arranged accordingly, and her next epistle, while +it preached prudence and discretion, desired that I should come to the +door at eleven at night when she would have an opportunity of speaking +to me. + +It may be imagined that time flew on leaden wings until the arrival +of the appointed hour, when proceeding as directed, I found the door +ajar, and the vision of the hand, now with a body in the back ground, +beckoning me to enter. Following the invitation the door was gently +closed, and I was soon in a large dimly lighted hall, by the side of my +fair incognita, with my hand clasped in hers. But ah me! I had barely +time to unburthen myself of a hurricane of sighs (enough to have blown +a fire out) and to give one chaste salute, when papa's well-known knock +was heard at the door and dissolved the charm. + +In an agony of affright my fair friend desired me to run up stairs to +the first landing, and as I valued my life, not to stir from it until +she should come to fetch me. + +Misfortunes they say seldom come single, and so I found it, for I +had scarcely reached the desired place when the voice of the sentry +thundered, "Guard, turn out!" and conveyed to me the very pleasant +information that the grand rounds approached, while I, the officer of +the guard, was absent, the captive of a damsel. I was in a precious +scrape; for, prior to the arrival of the other evil, I held it to be +somewhat more than doubtful whether I was reserved for a kiss or a +kick, but the odds were now two to one in favour of the latter, for +if I did not find my way outside the walls within three quarters of a +minute, it was quite certain that if I failed to receive what was due +to me inside the house I should catch it outside, by getting kicked +from the service. My case was therefore desperate, and as the voice of +papa was still heard at the stair-foot and precluded the possibility +of bolting undetected by the door, my only alternative was the stair +window. + +The field officer was passing under it as I threw up the sash, and +though the distance to the ground loomed fearfully long there was no +time for deliberation, but bundling out, and letting myself down by the +hands as far as I could, I took my chance of the remainder and came +down on the pavement with such a tremendous clatter that I thought I +had been shivered to atoms. The noise fortunately startled the field +officer's horse, so that it was as much as he could do to keep his seat +for the moment, which gave me time to gather myself up; when, telling +him that in my hurry to get to my place before him, I had stumbled +against a lamp post and fallen, the affair passed away without further +notice, but my aching bones, for many an after-day, would not permit me +to forget the adventure of that night. + +In my next turn for guard at the same place I got a glimpse of my fair +friend, and but for once. I saw on my arrival that the family were in +marching order, and my old acquaintance, the hand, soon after presented +me with a billet announcing their immediate departure for the season, +to a distant watering place. She lamented the accident which she feared +had befallen me, and as she thought it probable that we would never +meet again, she begged that I would forgive and look upon it merely as +the badinage of a giddy girl. + + +SHOT THE SIXTH. + +_At a sore subject._ + +"They who can feel for other's woes should ne'er have cause to +mourn their own!" so sayeth the poet, and so should I say if I saw +them feeling; but I have found such a marvellous scarcity of those +tender-hearted subjects on the field of battle, that, in good sooth, if +the soldier had not a tear to shed for his own woes, he stood a very +good chance of dying unwept, which may either be considered a merry or +a dreary end, according to the notion of the individual. + +In taking a comparative view of the _comforts_ attending a sea and land +fight, I know not what evils our nautical brethren may have to contend +against, which we have not; but they have this advantage over us--that, +whatever may be the fate of the day, they have their bed and breakfast, +and their wounds are promptly attended to. This shot, be it observed, +is especially fired at the wounded. + +When a man is wounded the corps he belongs to is generally in action, +and cannot spare from the ranks the necessary assistance, so that he is +obliged to be left to the tender mercies of those who follow after, and +they generally pay him the attention due to a mad dog, by giving him as +wide a berth as they possibly can--so that he often lies for days in +the field without assistance of any kind. + +Those who have never witnessed such scenes will be loth to believe that +men's hearts can get so steeled; but so it is--the same chance befals +the officer as the soldier, and one anecdote will illustrate both. + +At the battle of Vittoria one of our officers was disabled by a shot +through the leg, but having contrived to drag himself to a road-side, +he laid himself down there, in the hope that, among the passing +thousands, some good Samaritan might be found with compassion enough to +bind up his wound, and convey him to a place of shelter. + +The rear of a battle is generally a queer place--the day is won and +lost there a dozen times, unknown to the actual combatants--fellows who +have never seen an enemy in the field, are there to be seen flourishing +their drawn swords, and "cutting such fantastic tricks before high +heaven, as make angels weep," while others are flying as if pursued +by legions of demons; and, in short, while every thing is going on in +front with the order and precision of a field-day, in rear every thing +is confusion worse confounded. + +When my wounded friend took post on the road-side, it was in the midst +of a panic amongst the followers of the army, caused by an imaginary +charge of cavalry--he tried in vain, for a length of time, to attract +the notice of somebody, when his eyes were at length regaled by a +staff surgeon of his acquaintance, who approached amid the crowd of +fugitives, and, having no doubt but he would at length receive the +requisite attention, he hailed him by name as soon as he came within +reach. The person hailed, pulled up, with "Ah! my dear fellow, how +do you do? I hope you are not badly hit?" "I can't answer for that," +replied my friend, "all I know is, that my leg is bleeding profusely, +and until some good-natured person dresses it and assists me to remove, +here I must lie!" "Ah! that's right," returned the other, "keep +yourself quiet--this is only an affair of cavalry--so that you may make +yourself quite comfortable," and, clapping spurs to his horse, he was +out of sight in a moment! + +The next known character who presented himself was a volunteer, at +that time attached to the regiment--an eccentric sort of a gentleman, +but one who had a great deal of method in his eccentricity--for, though +he always went into battle with us, I know not how it happened, but +no one ever saw him again until it was all over--he must have been an +especial favourite of the fickle goddess--for, by his own shewing, +his absence from our part of the battle was always occasioned by his +accidentally falling in with some other regiment which had lost all its +officers, and, after rallying and leading them on to the most brilliant +feat of the day, he, with the modesty becoming a hero, left them alone +in their glory--in ignorance of the person to whom they owed so much, +while he retired to his humble position as a volunteer! + +On the occasion referred to, however, in place of being at the head +of a regiment and leading them on to the front, he was at the head +of half a dozen horses, which he had contrived to scrape together in +the field, and was leading them the other road. As soon as he had +descried my wounded friend he addressed him as did the doctor--was +remarkably glad to see him, and hoped he was not badly hit--and, having +received a similar reply, he declared that he was very sorry to hear +it--_very_--"but," added he, "as you are lying there, at all events, +perhaps you will be good enough to hold these horses for me until I +return, for I know where I can get about as many more!" + +Patience had not then ceased to be a virtue--and, lest my readers +should think that I am drawing too largely on theirs, I shall resume +the thread of my narrative. + + + + +CHAP. IX. + + A bishop's gathering.--Volunteers for a soldier's love, with + a portrait of the lover.--Burning a bivouac.--Old invented + thrashing machines and baking concerns.--A flying Padre taking + a shot flying. + + +Soon after the battle of Fuentes Lord Wellington was again called +to the south, leaving us with a burning desire to follow, which was +eventually gratified; for, after various coquettish movements between +us and the enemy, which carried us in retreat near to Sabugal, we, at +length, received an order for the south; and, leaving our adversaries +to do that which might seem best unto them, we were all at once helm up +for the other side of the Tagus. + +On our way there we halted a night at Castello Branco, and hearing that +the Bishop's garden was open for inspection, and well worth the seeing, +I went with a brother-officer to reconnoitre it. + +Throughout the country which we had been traversing for a season, the +ravages of the contending armies had swept the fruits, flowers, and +even the parent stems, from the face of the earth, as if such things +had never been; and it is, therefore, difficult to convey an idea of +the gratification we experienced in having our senses again regaled +with all that was delightful in either, and in admirable order. + +Beauty, in whatever shape it comes before us, is almost irresistible, +and the worthy prelate's oranges proved quite so; for they looked so +brightly yellow--so plumply ripe--and the trees groaned with their +load, as if praying for relief, that with hearts framed as ours, so +sensitively alive to nature's kindlier feelings, it was impossible to +refuse the appeal. + +Stolen kisses, they say, are the sweetest, and besides, as there +might have been some impropriety in pressing the oranges to our lips +so publicly, we were at some loss to provide for their transfer to a +suitable place, as our dress was pocketless, and fitted as tight as a +glove; but we contrived to stow away about a dozen each in our then +sugar-loaf-shaped regimental caps, and placing them carefully on the +head, we marched off as stiffly as a brace of grenadiers. + +As the devil would have it, however, in traversing the palace-hall, +we encountered the Bishop himself, and as it was necessary that the +compliments of the season should pass between us, it was rather an +awkward meeting; I was myself alive to the consequences of having more +brains above the head than in it, and, therefore, confined myself to +the stiff soldier's salute; but my companion, unluckily, forgot his +load, and in politely returning the prelate's bow, sent his cap and +oranges rolling at his feet, while his face shone as a burnt offering +at the same shrine! The Bishop gave a benevolent smile, and after very +good naturedly assisting the youth to collect the scattered fruit, he +politely wished us a good morning, leaving us not a little ashamed of +ourselves, and deeply impressed with a sense of his gentleman-like +demeanour and amiable disposition. + +Our third march from Castello Branco brought us to Portalegre, where we +halted for some days. + +In a former chapter, I have given the Portuguese national character, +such as I found it generally,--but in nature there are few scenes +so blank as to have no sunny side, and throughout that kingdom, the +romantic little town of Portalegre still dwells the greenest spot on +memory's waste. + +Unlike most other places in that devoted land, it had escaped the +vengeful visit of their ruthless foe, and having, therefore, no fatal +remembrance to cast its shade over the future, the inhabitants received +us as if we had been beings of a superior order, to whom they were +indebted for all the blessings they enjoyed, and showered their sweets +upon us accordingly. + +In three out of four of my sojourns there, a friend and I had the good +fortune to be quartered in the same house. The family consisted of a +mother and two daughters, who were very good-looking and remarkably +kind. Our return was ever watched for with intense interest, and when +they could not command sufficient influence with the local authorities +to have the house reserved, they nevertheless contrived to squeeze us +in; for when people are in a humour to be pleased with each other, +small space suffices for their accommodation. + +Such uniform kindness on their part, it is unnecessary to say, did +not fail to meet a suitable return on ours. We had few opportunities +of falling in with things that were rich and rare, (if I except such +_jewels_ as those just mentioned,) yet were we always stumbling over +something or other, which was carefully preserved for our next happy +meeting; and whether they were gems or gew-gaws, they were alike +valued for the sake of the donors. + +The kindness shown by one family to two particular individuals goes, of +course, for nothing beyond its value; but the feeling there seemed to +be universal. + +Our usual morning's amusement was to visit one or other of the +convents, and having ascertained the names of the different pretty +nuns, we had only to ring the bell, and request the pleasure of +half-an-hour's conversation with one of the prettiest amongst them, to +have it indulged; and it is curious enough that I never yet asked a +nun, or an attendant of a nunnery, if she would elope with me, that she +did not immediately consent,--and that, too, unconditionally. + +My invitations to that effect were not general, but, on the contrary, +remarkably particular; and to show that in accepting it they meant no +joke, they invariably pointed out the means, by telling me that they +were strictly watched at that time, but if I returned privately, a +week or two after the army had passed, they could very easily arrange +the manner of their escape. + +I take no credit to myself for any preference shewn, for if there be +any truth in my looking-glass--and it was one of the most flattering +I could find--their discriminating powers would entitle them to small +credit for any partiality shewn to me individually; and while it was no +compliment, therefore, to me, or to the nunnery, it must necessarily +be due to nature, as showing that the good souls were overflowing with +the milk of human kindness, and could not say nay while they possessed +the powers of pleasing: for, as far as I have compared notes with my +companions, the feeling seemed to have been general. + +On quitting Portalegre, we stopped, the next night, at Aronches, a +small miserable walled town, with scarcely a house in it that would +entitle the holder to vote on a ten shilling franchise; and on the +night following we went into bivouac, on Monte Reguingo, between Campo +Mayor and the Caya, where we remained a considerable time. We were +there, as our gallant historian (Napier) tells us, in as judicious +but, at the same time, in as desperate a position as any that Lord +Wellington had held during the war; yet, I am free to say, however, +that none of us knew any thing at all about the matter, and cared still +less. We there held, as we ever did, the most unbounded confidence in +our chief, and a confidence in ourselves, fed by continued success, +which was not to be shaken; so that we were at all times ready for +any thing, and reckless of every thing. The soldiers had become so +inured to toil and danger that they seemed to have set disease, the +elements, and the enemy alike at defiance. Head-aches and heart-aches +were unknown amongst them, and whether they slept under a roof, a tent, +or the open sky, or whether they amused themselves with a refreshing +bath in a stream, or amused the enemy with a shot, was all a matter of +indifference. I do not eulogize our own men at the expense of others, +for although the light division stood on that particular post alone, +our chief confidence originated in the hope and belief that every +division in the army was animated by the same spirit. + +The day after our taking post at Reguingo, notwithstanding my boasted +daring, we were put to the rout by an unlooked-for enemy, namely, a +fire in the bivouac;--a scorching sun had dried up the herbage, and +some of the camp-fires communicated with the long grass on which we +were lodged; the fresh summer-breeze wafted the ground flame so rapidly +through the bivouac that before all the arms and accoutrements could +be removed, many of the men's pouches were blown-up, and caused some +accidents. + +I believe it is not generally, and cannot be too well known to military +men, that this is a measure which is very often had recourse to by an +enemy, (when the wind favours,) to dislodge a post from a field of +standing corn or long grass; and the only way to counteract it is, for +the officer commanding the post to fire the grass immediately behind +him, so that by the time the enemy's fire has burnt up, his own will +have gone away in proportion, and left a secure place for him to stand +on, without losing much ground. + +Our bivouac at Monte Reguingo abounded in various venomous reptiles, +and it is curious enough to think that amongst the thousands of human +beings sleeping in the same bed and at their mercy, one rarely or never +heard of an injury done by them. + +A decayed tree full of holes, against which the officers of our company +had built their straw hut, was quite filled with snakes, and I have +often seen fellows three feet long winding their way through the +thatch, and voting themselves our companions at all hours, but the only +inconvenience we experienced was in a sort of feeling that we would +rather have had the hut to ourselves. + +One morning in turning over a stone on which my head had rested all +night, I saw a scorpion with the tail curled over his back looking me +fiercely in the face; and though not of much use, I made it a rule +thereafter to take a look at the other side of my pillow before I went +to sleep, whenever I used a stone one. + +An officer in putting on his shoe one morning, found that he had +squeezed a scorpion to death in the toe of it. That fellow must have +been caught napping, or he certainly would have resisted the intruder. + +The only thing in the shape of an accident from reptiles that I +remember ever having occurred in our regiment was to a soldier who had +somehow swallowed a lizard. He knew not when or how, and the first hint +he had of the tenement being so occupied, was in being troubled with +internal pains and spitting of blood, which continued for many months, +in spite of all the remedies that were administered. But a powerful +emetic eventually caused him to be delivered of as ugly a child of the +kind as one would wish to look at, about three inches long. I believe +that Dr. Burke, late of the Rifles, has it still preserved. + +In that neighbourhood I was amused in observing the primitive method +adopted by the farmers in thrashing their corn,--namely, in placing it +on a hard part of the public road and driving some bullocks backwards +and forwards through it; and for winnowing, they tossed it in a sieve +and trusted to the winds to do the needful. Notwithstanding the method, +however, they contrived to shew us good looking bread in that part of +the world--as white as a confectioner's seed cake--and though the devil +take such seeds as these sons of cows had contrived to grind up with +the flour, yet it was something like the cooking on board ship; we +ought to have been thankful for the good which the Gods provided and +asked no questions. + +In July, the breaking up of the assembled armies which had so long +menaced us, sent our division again stretching off to the north in +pursuit of fresh game. The weather was so intensely hot, that it was +thought advisable to perform the greater part of our marches during +the night. I can imagine few cases, however, in which a night march +can prove in any way advantageous; for unless the roads are remarkably +good, it requires double time to perform them. The men go stumbling +along half asleep, and just begin to brighten up when their permitted +hour of repose arrives. The scorching sun, too, murders sleep, and of +our ten or twelve days' marching on that occasion, I scarcely ever +slept at all. I have always been of opinion that if men who are inured +to fatigue are suffered to have a decent allowance of repose during the +night, that you may do what you like with them during the day, let the +climate or the weather be what it may. + +I remember having been at that time in possession of a small black +pony, and like the old man and his ass, it might have admitted of a +dispute among the spectators which of us ought to have carried the +other, but to do myself justice I rarely put him to the inconvenience +of carrying anything beyond my boat-cloak, blanket, &c.; but one +morning before day-light, in stumbling along through one of those +sleepy marches, my charger, following at the length of the bridle-rein, +all at once shot past me as if he had been fired out of a mortar, and +went heels over head, throwing a complete somerset and upsetting two of +the men in his headlong career. I looked at the fellow in the utmost +astonishment to see whether he was in joke or earnest, thinking that I +had by accident got hold of one of Astley's cast-off's, who was shewing +me some of his old stage tricks, but when he got up, he gave himself a +shake and went quietly on as usual, so that it must have been nothing +beyond a dreaming caper, seeing that he was not much given to the +exhibition of feats of agility in his waking moments. + +On reaching our destination in the north, our division took up a more +advanced position than before, and placed the garrison of Ciudad +Rodrigo under blockade. + +In the first village we occupied (Mortiago) the only character worthy +of note was a most active half-starved curate, whose duty it was to +marry and to bury every body within a wide range, besides performing +the usual services in sundry chapels in that and the adjoining +villages. He was so constantly at a gallop on horseback in pursuit +of his avocations that we dubbed him the _Padrè volante_ (the flying +parson.) We did there, as in all the Spanish villages the moment we +took possession, levelled the ground at the end of the church, and with +wooden bats cut out in the shape of rackets, got up something like an +apology for that active and delightful game. + +Our greatest enjoyment there was to catch the Padrè in one of his +leisure moments and to get him to join in the amusement, of which he +was remarkably fond, and he was no sooner enlisted, than it became +the malicious aim of every one to send the ball against his lank +ribs. Whenever he saw that it was done intentionally, however, he +made no hesitation in shying his bat at the offender; but he was a +good-natured soul, as were also his tormentors, so that every thing +passed off as was intended. + +The Padrè in addition to his other accomplishments was a sportsman, +and as he was possessed of a pointer dog (a companion which, as we had +more mouths than food, we were obliged to deny ourselves), his company +in the field on that account was in great request; whatever his feats +might have been there however, he generally came off but second best. I +remember that two of our gentlemen accompanied him the first day, and +when they sprung the first covey, the Padrè's bird, out of the three +shots, was the only one that came to the ground; but notwithstanding, +one of the officers immediately ran up and very coolly placed it in +his own bag. The Padrè ran up too, and stood gaping open-mouthed +thinking he had pocketed the bird in joke; however, the other went on +deliberately loading as if all had been right. Meanwhile, the other +officer coming up, said, "Why, S. that was not your bird, it is the +Padrè's!" "My dear sir," he replied, "I know it is not my bird, but do +you suppose that I would allow a fellow like that to think that he had +killed a bird? My good sir, I would not allow him to suppose for one +moment that he had even fired at it!" + + + + +CHAP. X. + + Shewing how a volunteer may not be what Doctor Johnson made + him.--A mayor's nest.--Cupping.--The Author's reasons for + punishing the world with a book.--And some volunteers of the + right sort. + + +When we next changed our quarter we found the new one peopled +exclusively by old wives and their husbands, and, as the enemy were at +a distance, we should certainly have gone defunct through sheer ennui, +had not fortune sent us a fresh volunteer--a regular "broth of a boy," +from the Emerald Isle, who afforded ample scope for the exercise of our +mischievous propensities during our hours of idleness. + +A volunteer--be it known to all who know it not--is generally a young +man with some pretensions to gentility--and while, with some, those +pretensions are so admirably disguised as to be scarcely visible to +the naked eye, in others they are conspicuous; but, in either case, +they are persons who, being without the necessary influence to obtain +a commission at home, get a letter of introduction to the commander +of the forces in the field, who, if he approves, attaches them to +regiments, and, while they are treated as gentlemen out of the field, +they receive the pay, and do the duty of private soldiers in it. In +every storming party or service of danger, in which any portion of a +regiment is engaged, if a volunteer is attached to it, he is expected +to make one of the number, and, if a bullet does not provide for him in +the meantime, he eventually succeeds to the commission of some officer +who has fallen in action. + +Tommy Dangerfield, the hero of my tale, was, no doubt, (as we all +are,) the hero of his mother--in stature he was middle sized--rather +bull shouldered, and walked with bent knees--his face was a fresh +good-natured one, but with the usual sinister cast in the eye worn +by common Irish country countenances--in short, Tommy was rather a +good-looking, and, in reality, not a bad, fellow, and the only mistake +which he seemed to have made, was in the choice of his profession, for +which his general appearance and his ideas altogether disqualified +him--nevertherless, had he fallen into other hands it is possible that +he might have passed muster with tolerable repute until the termination +of the war; but I don't know how it was, nor do I know whether we +differed from other regiments in the same respect, but our first and +most uncharitable aim was to discover the weak points of every fresh +arrival, and to attack him through them. If he had redeeming qualities, +he, of course, came out scatheless, but, if not, he was dealt with most +unmercifully. Poor Tommy had none such--he was weak on all sides, and +therefore went to the wall. + +At the time he joined, we were unusually situated with regard to the +enemy, for, on ordinary occasions, we had their sentries opposite +to ours within a few hundred yards; but, at that period, we had the +French garrison of Ciudad Rodrigo behind us, with the 52d regiment +between; while the nearest enemy in our front was distant some ten or +twelve miles--nevertheless, our first essay was to impress Tommy with a +notion that our village was a fortified place, and that we were closely +blockaded on all sides--and it became our daily amusement to form a +reconnoitring party to endeavour to penetrate beyond the posts--which +posts, be it remarked, were held by a few of our own men, disguised for +the purpose, and posted at the out-skirts of the village wood. + +Tommy, though not a desperate character, shewed no want of +pluck--wherever we went he followed, and wherever we fled he led the +way! + +On the first occasion of the kind we got him on horseback, and +conducting him through the wood until we received the expected volley, +we took to our heels in the hope that he would get unseated in the +flight, but he held on like grim death, and arrived in the village +with the loss of his cap only. It was, however, brought to him in due +time by an old rifleman of the name of Brotherwood, who had commanded +the enemy on that occasion, but who claimed peculiar merit in its +recovery; and, having taken the opportunity of cutting a hole in it as +if a ball had passed through, he got a dollar for the cut! + +Poor Tommy, from that time, led the life of the devil--he could not +shew his nose outside his own house that he was not fired at--and +whenever we made up a larger party to shew him more of the world it was +only to lead him into further mischief. + +I was some time after this removed into the left wing of our regiment, +which belonged to a different brigade, so that I ceased to be a daily +witness of his torments, though aware that they went on as theretofore. + +Tommy continued to rub on for a considerable time. Death had become +busy in our ranks--first, by the siege and storming of Ciudad Rodrigo, +and immediately after, by that of Badajos. I had heard little or +nothing of him during those stirring events of real war--and it was +not until the morning after the storming of Badajos that he again came +under my notice--from having heard that he had been missing the night +before. I there saw him turn up, like a half-drowned rat, covered with +mud and wet, which looked very much as if he had passed the night in +the inundation, adjoining the breach, up to his neck in the water, and +probably a little deeper at times, when the fire-balls were flying +thickest. He nevertheless contrived to hold on yet a little longer--one +day, (agreeably to order,) taking post in the middle of a river, with +his face towards Ispahan, to watch the enemy in that direction--and +the next day, in conformity with the same orders, applying to the +quarter-master-general for a route for himself and party to go +to Kamskatcha to recruit, he got so bewildered that he could not +distinguish between a sham and a real order, and, at last, when in the +face of the enemy, in front of Salamanca, he absolutely refused to take +the duty for which he had been ordered, and was consequently obliged +to cut. + +It was the best thing that could have happened both for him and the +service; for, as I said before, he had mistaken his profession, and as +he was yet but a youth, it is to be hoped that he afterwards stumbled +upon the right one. + +Atalya, which we now occupied, is a mountain village about half a +league in front of the Vadillo. The only amusing characters we found in +it were the pigs. I know not whether any process was resorted to in the +mornings to entice them from their homes to grub up the falling acorns +from the beautiful little evergreen oaks which adorned the hills above, +but it was a great scene every evening at sunset to go to the top of +the village, and see about five hundred of them coming thundering down +the face of the mountain at full speed, and each galloping in to his +own door. + +We had been a considerable time there before we discovered that the +neighbourhood could furnish metal more attractive, but a shooting +excursion at last brought us acquainted with the Quinta Horquera (I +think it was called), a very respectable farm-house, situated on a +tongue of land formed by the junction of another mountain stream with +the Vadillo. + +The house itself was nothing out of the common run, but its inmates +were, for we found it occupied by the chief magistrate of Ciudad +Rodrigo, with his wife and daughter, and two young female relatives. +He himself was a staunch friend of his country, and when the fortress +of Rodrigo fell into the hands of the French, rather than live in +communion with them, he retired with his family to that remote +property, in the hope that as it was so much out of the way he might +rest there in peace and security until circumstances enabled him to +resume his position in society as a true and loyal Spaniard; but as +the sequel will shew, he had reckoned without his host, for with a +British regiment in the neighbourhood, and his house filled with young +ladies he was an unreasonable man to expect peace there, and the enemy +also by and bye came down upon him, as if to prove that his notions of +security were equally fallacious. + +Don Miguel himself was a splendid ruin of a man of three score, +of a majestic figure, regular features, and stern dark Castilian +countenance. He was kind and amusing withal, for though his own face +was forbidden to smile, yet he seemed to enjoy it in others, and did +all in his power to promote amusement, that is, as much as a Spaniard +ever does. + +His wife was very tall and very slender--the skin of her pale fleshless +face fitting so tight as to make it look like a pin-head. She was very +passive and very good-natured, her other day having long passed by. + +Their only daughter was a woman about twenty-eight years of age, with +rather a dull pock-pitted countenance, and a tall, stout, clumsy +figure. She had very little of the Spaniard in her composition, but +was nevertheless a kind good-natured girl. Her relatives, however, +were metal of another sort: the eldest was a remarkably well made +plump little figure, with a fair complexion, natural curly hair, and a +face full of dimples which shewed eternal sunshine; while her sister, +as opposite as day from night, shewed the flashing dark eye, sallow +complexion, and the light sylph-like figure for which her country-women +are so remarkable. To look at her was to see a personification of that +beautiful description of Byron's in his first canto of Childe Harold-- + + "Yet are Spain's maids no race of Amazons, + But formed for all the witching arts of love!" + +Their house, under the circumstances in which we were placed, became +an agreeable lounge for many of us for a month or two, for though the +sports of the field, with the limited means at our disposal, formed +our daily amusement, we always contrived that it should terminate +somewhere in the neighbourhood of the Quinta, where we were sure of +three things--a hearty welcome, a dish of conversation, and another +of chestnuts fried in hog's-lard, with a glass of aguadente to wind +up with, which, after the fatigues of the day, carried us comfortably +home to our more substantial repast, with a few little pleasing +recollections to dream about. + +The French marshal, as if envious of our enjoyments, meagre as they +were, put a sudden stop to them. His advance, however, was not so rapid +but that we were enabled to give our first care towards providing +for the safety of our friends of the Quinta, by assisting them with +the means of transporting themselves to a more remote glen in the +mountains, before it was necessary to look to our own, and + + Although the links of love that morn + Which War's rude hands had asunder torn + +had not been patent ones, yet did it savour somewhat of chivalric times +when we had been one evening in the field in the front of the Quinta +sporting with the young and the lovely of the land, as if wars and +rumours of wars were to be heard of no more. + +I say I felt it rather queerish or so, to be spreading down my +boat-cloak for a bed in the same field the next night, with an enemy +in my front, for so it was, and to find myself again before day-light +next morning, from my cold clay couch, gazing at the wonderful comet of +1811, that made such capital claret, and wishing that he would wag his +fiery tale a little nearer to my face, for it was so stiff with hoar +frost that I dared neither to laugh nor cry for fear of breaking it. + +We passed yet another night in the same field hallowed by such opposite +recollections; but next day, independently of the gathered strength +of the enemy in our front, we found a fight of some magnitude going +on behind us, the combat of Elbodon; and our major-general, getting +alarmed at last at his own temerity, found a sleeping place for us, +some distance in the rear, in a hollow, where none but the comet and +its companions might be indulged with a look. + +Our situation was more than ticklish--with an enemy on three sides and +an almost impassable mountain on the fourth--but starting with the +lark next morning and passing through Robledillo, we happily succeeded +in joining the army in front of Guinaldo in the afternoon, to the no +small delight of his Grace of Wellington, whose judicious and daring +front with half the enemy's numbers, had been our salvation. And it +must no doubt have been a mortifying reflection to our divisional +chief, to find that his obstinacy and disobedience of orders had not +only placed his own division, but that of the whole army in such +imminent peril. + +Marmont had no doubt a laurel-wreath in embryo for the following day, +but he had allowed _his_ day to go by; the night was ours and we used +it, so that when day-light broke, he had nothing but empty field-works +to wreak his vengeance on. He followed us along the road, with some +sharp partial fighting at one or two places, and there seemed a +probability of his coming on to the position in which Lord Wellington +felt disposed to give him battle; but a scarcity of provisions forced +him to retrace his steps, and break up to a certain extent for the +subsistence of his army, while our retreat terminated at Soita, which +it appeared was about the spot on which Lord Wellington had determined +to make a stand. + +I shall ever remember our night at Soita for one thing. The +commissariat had been about to destroy a cask of rum in the course +of that day's retreat, when at the merciful intercession of one of +my brother officers, it was happily spared and turned over to his +safe keeping, and he shewed himself deserving of the trust, for by +wonderful dexterity and management, he contrived to get it wheeled +along to our resting-place, when establishing himself under the awning +of a splendid chestnut-tree, he hung out the usual emblem of its being +the head-quarters of a highland chief--not for the purpose of scaring +way-fairers as erst did his forefathers of yore, to exclude the worthy +Baillie Nicol Jarvie from the clachan of Aberfoyle--but for the more +hospitable one of inviting them to be partakers thereof; and need I add +that among the many wearers of empty calabashes which the chances of +war had there assembled around him, the call was cheerfully responded +to, and a glorious group very quickly assembled. + +The morrow promised to be a bloody one; but we cared not for the +morrow:--"sufficient for the day is the evil thereof:"--the song and +the jest went merrily round, and, if the truth must be told, I believe +that though we carried our cups to the feast, we all went back in them, +and with the satisfaction of knowing that we had relieved our gallant +chieftain of all further care respecting the contents of the cask. + +The enemy having withdrawn the same night, we retraced our steps, next +day, to our former neighbourhood; and though we were occasionally +stirred up and called together by the menacing attitudes of our +opponents, yet we remained the unusually long period of nearly three +months without coming again into actual contact with them. + +No officer during that time had one fraction to rub against another; +and when I add that our paunches were nearly as empty as our pockets, +it will appear almost a libel upon common sense to say that we enjoyed +it; yet so it was,--our very privations were a subject of pride and +boast to us, and there still continued to be an _esprit de corps_,--a +buoyancy of feeling animating all, which nothing could quell; we were +alike ready for the field or for frolic, and when not engaged in the +one, went headlong into the other. + +Ah me! when I call to mind that our chief support in those days of +trial was the anticipated delight of recounting those tales in after +years, to wondering and admiring groups around our domestic hearths, in +merry England; and when I find that so many of these after years have +already passed, and that the folks who people these present years, care +no more about these dear-bought tales of former ones than if they were +spinning-wheel stories of some "auld wife ayont the fire;" I say it is +not only enough to make me inflict them with a book, as I have done, +but it makes me wish that I had it all to do over again; and I think +it would be very odd if I would not do exactly as I have done, for I +knew no happier times, and they were their own reward! + +It is worthy of remark that Lord Wellington, during the time I speak +of, had made his arrangements for pouncing upon the devoted fortress of +Ciudad Rodrigo, with such admirable secrecy, that his preparations were +not even known to his own army. + +I remember, about a fortnight before the siege commenced, hearing that +some gabions and fascines were being made in the neighbourhood, but it +was spoken of as a sort of sham preparation, intended to keep the enemy +on the _qui vive_, as it seemed improbable that he would dare to invest +a fortress in the face of an army which he had not force enough to meet +in the field, unless on some select position; nor was it until the day +before we opened the trenches that we became quite satisfied that he +was in earnest. + +The sieges, stormings, and capture of Ciudad Rodrigo and Badajos +followed hard on each other's heels; and as I gave a short detail of +the operations in my former volume, it only remains for me now to +introduce such anecdotes and remarks as were there omitted. + +The garrison of Ciudad was weak in number, but had a superabundant +store of ammunition, which was served out to us with a liberal hand; +yet, curious enough, except what was bestowed on the working parties, +(and that was plenty in all conscience,) the greater portion of what +was intended for the supporting body was expended in air, for they +never seemed to have discovered the true position of the besieging +force; and though some few of us, in the course of each night, by +chance-shots, got transferred from natural to eternal sleep, yet their +shells were chiefly employed in the ploughing-up of a hollow way +between two hills, where we were supposed to have been, and which they +did most effectually at their own cost. + +When our turn of duty came for the trenches, however, we never had +reason to consider ourselves neglected, but, on the contrary, could +well spare what was sent at random. + +I have often heard it disputed whether the most daring deeds are done +by men of good or bad repute, but I never felt inclined to give either +a preference over the other, for I have seen the most desperate things +done by both. I remember one day during the siege that a shell pitched +in the trenches within a few yards of a noted bad character of the +52d regiment, who, rather than take the trouble of leaping out of the +trench until it had exploded, went very deliberately up, took it in his +arms, and pitched it outside, obliging those to jump back who had there +taken shelter from it. + +A wild young officer, whose eccentricities and death, at Waterloo, were +noticed in my former volume, was at that time at variance with his +father on the subject of pecuniary matters, and in mounting the breach, +at Ciudad, sword in hand, while both sides were falling thick and fast, +he remarked to a brother-officer alongside of him, in his usual jocular +way, "Egad, if I had my old father here now, I think I should be able +to bring him to terms!" + +Nothing shows the spirit of daring and inherent bravery of the British +soldier so much as in the calling for a body of volunteers for any +desperate service. In other armies, as Napier justly remarks, the +humblest helmet may catch a beam of glory; but in ours, while the +subaltern commanding the forlorn hope may look for death or a company, +and the field-officer commanding the stormers an additional step by +brevet, to the other officers and soldiers who volunteer on that +desperate service, no hope is held out--no reward given; and yet there +were as many applicants for a place in the ranks as if it led to the +highest honours and rewards. + +At the stormings of Badajos and St. Sebastian I happened to be the +adjutant of the regiment, and had the selection of the volunteers +on those occasions, and I remember that there was as much anxiety +expressed, and as much interest made by all ranks to be appointed to +the post of honour, as if it had been sinecure situations, in place of +death-warrants, which I had at my disposal. + +For the storming of St. Sebastian, the numbers from our battalion were +limited to twenty-five; and in selecting the best characters out of +those who offered themselves, I rejected an Irishman of the name of +Burke, who, although he had been on the forlorn hope both at Ciudad and +Badajos, and was a man of desperate bravery, I knew to be one of those +wild untameable animals that, the moment the place was carried, would +run into every species of excess. + +The party had been named two days before they were called for, and +Burke besieged my tent night and day, assuring me all the while that +unless he was suffered to be of the party, the place would not be +taken! I was forced at last to yield, after receiving an application in +his behalf from the officer who was to command the party; and he was +one of the very few of that gallant little band who returned to tell +the story. + +Nor was that voracious appetite for fire-eating confined to the +private soldier, for it extended alike to all ranks. On the occasion +just alluded to, our quota, as already stated, was limited to a +subaltern's command of twenty-five men; and as the post of honour was +claimed by the senior lieutenant, (Percival,) it in a manner shut the +mouths of all the juniors; yet were there some whose mouths would not +be shut,--one in particular (Lieutenant H.) who had already seen enough +of fighting to satisfy the mind of any reasonable man, for he had +stormed and bled at Ciudad Rodrigo, and he had stormed at Badajos, not +to mention his having had his share in many, and not nameless battles, +which had taken place in the interim; yet nothing would satisfy him but +that he must draw his sword in that also. + +Our colonel was too heroic a soul himself to check a feeling of that +sort in those under him, and he very readily obtained the necessary +permission to be a volunteer along with the party. Having settled his +temporal affairs, namely, willing away his pelisse, jacket, two pairs +of trousers, and sundry nether garments,--and however trifling these +bequests may appear to a military youth of the present day, who happens +to be reconnoitring a merchant tailor's settlement in St. James's +Street, yet let me tell him that, at the time I speak of, they were +valued as highly as if they had been hundreds a year in reversion. + +The prejudice against will-making by soldiers on service is so strong, +that had H. been a rich man in place of a poor one, he must have died +on the spot for doing what was accounted infinitely more desperate than +storming a breach; but his poverty seemed to have been his salvation, +for he was only half killed,--a ball entered under his eye, passed +down the roof of the mouth, through the palate, entered again at the +collar-bone, and was cut out at the shoulder-blade. He never again +returned to his regiment, but I saw him some years after, in his native +country (Ireland), in an active situation, and, excepting that he had +gotten an ugly mark on his countenance, and his former manly voice had +dwindled into a less commanding one, he seemed as well as ever I saw +him. + +Will-making, as already hinted at, was, in the face of the enemy, +reckoned the most daring of all daring deeds, for the doer was always +considered a doomed man, and it was but too often verified--not but +that the same fatality must have marked him out without it; but +so strong was the prejudice generally on that subject that many a +goodly estate has, in consequence, passed into what, under other +circumstances, would have been forbidden hands. + +On the subject of presentiments of death in going into battle, I have +known as many instances of falsification as verification. To the latter +the popular feeling naturally clings as the more interesting of the +two; but I am inclined to think that the other would preponderate +if the account could be justly rendered. The officer alluded to may +be taken as a specimen of the former--he had been my messmate and +companion at the sieges and stormings of both Ciudad and Badajos--and +on the morning after the latter, he told me that he had had a +presentiment that he would have fallen the night before, though he had +been ashamed to confess it sooner--and yet to his credit be it spoken, +so far from wishing to avoid, he coveted the post of danger--as his +duty for that day would have led him to the trenches, but he exchanged +with another officer, on purpose to ensure himself a place in the storm. + +Of my own feelings on the point in consideration, I am free to say +that, while I have been engaged in fifty actions, in which I have +neither had the time, nor taken the trouble to ask myself any questions +on the subject, but encountered them in whatever humour I happened to +be--yet, in many others, (the eve of pitched battles,) when the risk +was imminent, and certain that one out of every three must go to the +ground, I have asked myself the question, "Do I feel like a _dead_ +man?" but I was invariably answered point blank, "_No!_" And yet must +I still look like a superstitious character, when I declare that the +only time that I ever went into action, labouring under a regular +depression of spirits, was on the evening on which the musket-ball felt +my head at Foz d'Aronce. + +But to return to the storming of Ciudad. The moment which is the most +dangerous to the honour and the safety of a British army is that in +which they have won the place they have assaulted. While outside the +walls, and linked together by the magic hand of discipline, they are +heroes--but once they have forced themselves inside they become demons +or lunatics--for it is difficult to determine which spirit predominates. + +To see the two storming divisions assembled in the great square that +night, mixed up in a confused mass, shooting at each other, and firing +in at different doors and windows, without the shadow of a reason, was +enough to drive any one, who was in possession of his senses, mad. The +prisoners were formed in a line on one side of the square--unarmed, it +is true--but, on my life, had they made a simultaneous rush forward, +they might have made a second Bergen-op-Zoom of it--for so absolute +was the sway of the demon of misrule, that half of our men, I verily +believe, would have been panic-struck and thrown themselves into the +arms of death, over the ramparts, to escape a danger that either +did not exist or might have been easily avoided. After calling, and +shouting, until I was hoarse in endeavouring to restore order, and when +my voice was no longer audible, seeing a soldier raising his piece to +fire at a window, I came across his shoulders with a musket-barrel +which I had in my hand, and demanded, "What the devil, sir, are you +firing at?" to which he answered, "I don't know, sir! I am firing +because every body else is!" + +The storming of a fortress was a new era to the British army of +that day, and it is not to be wondered at if the officers were not +fully alive to the responsibility which attaches to them on such an +occasion--but on their conduct every thing hinges--by judgement and +discretion men may be kept together--but once let them loose and they +are no longer redeemable. + +I have often lamented that speechifying was at such a discount in those +days, for, excepting what was promulgated in Lord Wellington's orders, +which were necessarily brief, the subordinates knew nothing of the +past, present, or the future, until the glimpse of an English newspaper +some months after served to enlighten their understandings; but +there were every day occasions, in which the slightest hint from our +superiors, as to the probable results, would have led to incalculable +advantages, and in none more so than in the cases now quoted. So far +from recommending caution, the chief of one of the storming divisions +is grievously belied if he did not grant some special licenses for that +particular occasion, though I am bound to say for him that he did all +he could to repress them when he found the advantage taken. + +Ciudad, being a remote frontier fortress, could boast of few persons +of any note within its walls--our worthy friends of Horquera, (the +Alcaldé, with his family,) were probably the best, and he returned and +resumed his official functions as soon as he found that the place had +reverted to its legal owners--his house had been a princely one, but +was, unfortunately, situated behind the great breach, and was blown to +atoms--so that, for the time being, he was obliged to content himself +with one more humble--though, if I may speak as I have felt, I should +say not less comfortable, for I contrived to make it my home as often +as I could find an excuse for so doing--and, as the old Proverb goes, +"where there is a will there is a way," it was as often as I could. + +One portion of the ceremony of Spanish hospitality was their awaking +me about five in the morning to take a cup of chocolate, made so thick +that a tea-spoon might stand in it, which, with a little crisp brown +toast, was always administered by the fair hands of one of the damsels, +and certes I never could bring myself to consider it an annoyance, +however unusual it may seem in this cold land of ours. + + + + +CHAP. XI. + + Very short, with a few anecdotes still shorter; but the + principal actors thought the scenes long enough. + + +After the fall of Ciudad Rodrigo, our battalion took possession for a +time of Ituera, a pretty little village on the banks of the Azava. + +It was a delightful coursing country, abounding in hares; and as the +chase in those days afforded a double gratification--the one present, +and the other in perspective, (the dinner hour,) it was always followed +with much assiduity. The village, too, happened to be within a short +ride of Ciudad, so that frequent visits to our friends formed an +agreeable variety, and rendered our short sojourn there a season of +real enjoyment. + +I was much struck, on first entering Spain, in observing what appeared +to be a gross absurdity in their religious observances; for whenever +one of those processions was heard approaching, the girls, no matter +how they had been employed, immediately ran to the window, where, +kneeling down, they continued repeating their _aves_ until it had +passed, when they jumped up again and were ready for any frolic or +mischief. + +Such was the effect produced inwardly by the outward passage of +the _Hoste_, but it was not until I went to Ituera that I had an +opportunity of witnessing the fatal results of a more familiar visit +from those gentlemen bearing torches and dark lanterns, for they +certainly seemed to me to put several souls to flight before they were +duly prepared for it. + +One happened to be the landlady of the house in which I was quartered, +a woman about three score, and blind; but she was, nevertheless, as +merry as a cricket, and used to amuse us over the fireside in the +evening, while "twisting her rock and her wee pickle tow," in chaunting +Malbrook and other ditties equally interesting, with a voice which at +one time might have had a little music in it, but had then degenerated +into the squeak of a penny trumpet. + +In her last evening on earth, she had treated us with her usual +serenade, and seemed as likely to live a dozen years longer as any +one of the group around her; but on my return from a field-day next +forenoon, I met the Padré, the sexton, and their usual accompaniments, +marching out of the house to the tune of that _grave_ air of theirs; +and I saw that further question was needless, for the tears of the +attendant damsels told me the tale of woe. + +Her sudden departure was to me most unaccountable, nor could I ever +obtain an explanation beyond that she was very aged; that they had sent +for the Father to comfort her, and now she was happy in the keeping of +their blessed Virgin. + +There was much weeping and wailing for a day or two, and her +grand-daughter, a tall thin lath of a girl, about eleven or twelve +years of age, seemed the most distressed of the group. It so happened +that a few days after, an order was promulgated authorising us to fill +up our ranks with Spanish recruits, to the extent of ten men for each +company, and I started off to some of the neighbouring villages, where +we were well-known, in the hope of being able to pick up some good +ones. On my return I was rather amused to find that the damsel already +mentioned, whom I had left ten days before bathed in tears, was already +a blushing bride in the hands of a strapping muleteer. + +While on the subject of those Spanish recruits I may here remark that +we could not persuade the countrymen to join us, and it was not until +we got to Madrid that we succeeded in procuring the prescribed number +for our battalion. Those we got, however, were a very inferior sample +of the Spaniard, and we therefore expected little from them, but to +their credit be it recorded, they turned out admirably well--they were +orderly and well-behaved in quarters, and thoroughly good in the field; +and they never went into action that they had not their full portion of +casualties. + +There were fifty of them originally, and at the close of the war, +(about a year and a half after,) I think there were about seventeen +remaining, and there had not been a single desertion from among them. +When we were leaving the country they received some months' gratuitous +pay and were discharged, taking with them our best wishes, which they +richly merited. + +Lord Wellington during the whole of the war kept a pack of fox-hounds, +and while they contributed not a little to the amusement of whatever +portion of the army happened to be within reach of head-quarters, +they were to his Lordship valuable in many ways; for while he enjoyed +the chase as much as any, it gave him an opportunity of seeing and +conversing with the officers of the different departments, and other +individuals, without attracting the notice of the enemy's emissaries; +and the pursuits of that manly exercise, too, gave him a better +insight into the characters of the individuals under him, than he +could possibly have acquired by years of acquaintance under ordinary +circumstances. + +It is not unusual to meet, in the society of the present day, some old +Peninsular trump, with the rank very probably of a field officer, and +with a face as polished, and its upper story as well furnished as the +figure-head of his sword hilt, gravely asserting that all the merit +which the Duke of Wellington has acquired from his victories was due to +the troops! And having plundered the Commander-in-Chief of his glory, +and divided it among the followers, he, as an officer of those same +followers, very complacently claims a field officer's allowance in the +division of the spoil. + +I would stake all I have in this world that no man ever heard such an +opinion from the lips of a private soldier--I mean a thorough good +service one--for the ideas of such men are beyond it; and I have +ever found that their proudest stories relate to the good or gallant +deeds of those above them. It is impossible, therefore, to hear +such absurdities advanced by one in the rank of an officer, without +marvelling by what fortuitous piece of luck he, with the military +capacity of a baggage animal, had contrived to hold his commission, +for he must have been deeply indebted to the clemency of those above, +and takes the usual method of that class of persons, to shew his sense +thereof, by kicking down the ladder by which he ascended. + +Our civil brethren in general are of necessity obliged to swallow a +considerable portion of whatever we choose to place before them. But +when they meet with such an one as I have described, they may safely +calculate that whenever the items of his services can be collected, it +will be found that his Majesty has had a hard bargain! For, knowing, +as every one does, what the best ship's crew would be afloat in the +wide world of waters without a master, they may, on the same principle, +bear in mind that there can no more be an efficient army without a good +general, than there can be an efficient general without a good army, +for the one is part and parcel of the other--they cannot exist singly! + +The touching on the foregoing subject naturally obliges me to wander +from my narrative to indulge in a few professional observations, +illustrative not only of war but of its instruments. + +Those unaccustomed to warfare, are apt to imagine that a field of +battle is a scene of confusion worse confounded, but that is a mistake, +for, except on particular occasions, there is in general no noise or +confusion any thing like what takes place on ordinary field days in +England. I have often seen half the number of troops put to death, +without half the bluster and confusion which takes place in a sham +fight in the Phoenix-Park of Dublin. + +The man who blusters at a field day is not the man who does it on the +field of battle: on the contrary his thoughts there are generally +too big for utterance, and he would gladly squeeze himself into a +nutshell if he could. The man who makes a noise on the field of battle +is generally a good one, but all rules have their exceptions, for I +have seen one or two thorough good ones, who were blusterers in both +situations; but it nevertheless betrays a weakness in any officer who +is habitually noisy about trifles, from the simple fact that when any +thing of importance occurs to require an extraordinary exertion of +lungs, nature cannot supply him with the powers requisite to make the +soldiers understand that it is the consequence of an occurrence more +serious, than the trifle he was in the habit of making a noise about. + +In soldiering, as in every thing else, except Billingsgate and ballad +singing, the cleverest things are done quietly. + +At the storming of the heights of Bera, on the 8th of October, 1813, +Colonel, now Sir John Colbourne, who commanded our second brigade, +addressed his men before leading them up to the enemy's redoubt with, +"Now, my lads, we'll just charge up to the edge of the ditch, and if we +can't get in, we'll stand there and fire in their faces." They charged +accordingly, the enemy fled from the works, and in following them up +the mountain, Sir John, in rounding a hill, accompanied only by his +brigade-major and a few riflemen, found that he had headed a retiring +body of about 300 of the French, and whispering to his brigade-major +to get as many men together as he could, he without hesitation rode +boldly up to the enemy's commander, and demanded his sword! The +Frenchman surrendered it with the usual grace of his countrymen, +requesting that the other would bear witness that he had conducted +himself like a good and valiant soldier! Sir John answered the appeal +with an approving nod; for it was no time to refuse bearing witness to +the valour of 300 men, while they were in the act of surrendering to +half a dozen. + +If a body of troops is under fire, and so placed as to be unable to +return it, the officer commanding should make it a rule to keep them +constantly on the move, no matter if it is but two side steps to the +right or one to the front, it always makes them believe they are doing +something, and prevents the mind from brooding over a situation which +is the most trying of any. + +The coolness of an officer in action, if even shewn in trifles, goes +a great way towards maintaining the steadiness of the men. At the +battle of Waterloo, I heard Sir John Lambert call one of his commanding +officers to order for repeating his (the general's) word of command, +reminding him that when the regiments were in contiguous close columns, +they ought to take it from himself! As the brigade was under a terrific +fire at the time, the notice of such a trifling breach of rule shewed, +at all events, that the gallant general was at home! + +In the course of the five days' fighting which took place near Bayonne, +in December, 1813, a singular change of fate, with its consequent +interchange of civilities, took place between the commanding officer of +a French regiment and one of ours; I forget whether it was the 4th or +9th, but I think it was one of the regiments of that brigade--it had +been posted amongst some enclosures which left both its flanks at the +mercy of others. + +The fighting at that place had been very severe, with various success, +and while the regiment alluded to was hotly engaged in front, a French +corps succeeded in getting in their rear; when the enemy's commandant +advancing to the English one, apologised for troubling him, but begged +to point out that he was surrounded, and must consider himself his +prisoner! While the British colonel was listening to the mortifying +intelligence, and glancing around to see if no hope of escape was +left, he observed another body of English in the act of compassing the +very corps by which he had been caught; and, returning the Frenchman's +salute, begged his pardon for presuming to differ with him in opinion, +but that he was labouring under a mistake, for he (the Frenchman) +was, on the contrary, his prisoner, pointing in his turn to the +movement that had taken place while they had been disputing the point. +As the fact did not admit of a doubt, the Frenchman giving a shrug +of the shoulders, and uttering a lament over the fickleness of the +war-goddess, quietly surrendered. + + + + +CHAP. XII. + + Shewing rough visitors receiving a rough reception. Some living + and moving specimens thereof. Tailors not such fractions of + humanity as is generally believed. Gentle visitors receiving a + gentle reception, which ends by shewing that two shakes joined + together sound more melodiously on the heart-strings than two + hands which shake of their own accord. + + +Pass we on to Badajos--to that last, that direful, but glorious +night--the 6th of April--"so fiercely fought, so terribly won, so +dreadful in all its circumstances, that posterity can scarcely be +expected to credit the tale." + +Any one who has taken the trouble to read and digest what Napier has +said in vindication of the measures adopted by Lord Wellington for the +subjugation of those fortresses in the manner in which it was done, +must feel satisfied that their propriety admits of no dispute. But as +the want of time rendered it necessary to set the arts and sciences +at defiance--and that, if carried at all, it must have been done with +an extra sacrifice of human life, it will for ever remain a matter +of opinion at what period of the siege the assault should have been +made with the best prospect of success, and with the least probable +loss--and such being the case it must be free to every writer to offer +his own ideas. + +Lord Wellington, as is well known, waited on each occasion for open +breaches, and was each time successful--so far he did well, and they +may do better who can. Colonel Lamarre would have attacked Badajos +the first night of the siege with better hopes of success than on the +last, as the garrison, he says, would have been less prepared, and the +defences not so complete. But I differ from him on both positions, +for, depend upon it, that every garrison is excessively alive for +the first few days after they have been invested. And as to defensive +preparations, I have reason to think that few after ones of consequence +took place, but those of counteracting the effects of our battering +guns. + +I am, nevertheless, one of those who would like to see the attempt +made at an intermediate period. Breaches certainly serve the important +end of distracting the attention of the garrison, and leading them +to neglect other assailable points--though, whenever they have the +opportunity of retrenching them, as at Badajos, they are undoubtedly +the strongest parts of the works. I should therefore carry on the +siege in the usual manner until about the time the batteries began to +come into operation, and as it might then be fairly presumed that the +garrison, by the regular order of proceedings, would be lulled into a +notion of temporary security, I should feel monstrously inclined to +try my luck. If it turned up trumps it might save valuable time and a +thousand or two of valuable lives. If it failed, the loss would be in +proportion; but it would neither lose time, nor compromise the result +of the siege. + +Colonel Jones, an able writer and an able fighter, in his particular +department, would have had us do what his great guns ought to have done +on that memorable night--namely, to have cleared away the defences on +the top of the breach, which he affirms might have been done by the +rush of a dense mass of troops. But had he been where I was he would +have seen that there was no scarcity of rushes of dense masses of +troops; but, independently of every other engine of destruction which +human ingenuity could invent--they were each time met by a dense rush +of balls, and it is the nature of man to bow before them. No dense mass +of troops could reach the top of that breach. + +Major (then Lieutenant) Johnston, of ours, who was peculiarly +calculated for desperate enterprize, preceded the forlorn hope, in +command of a party carrying ropes, prepared with nooses, to throw over +the sword blades, as the most likely method of displacing, by dragging +them down the breach; but he and his whole party were stricken down +before one of them had got within throwing distance. + +When an officer, as I have already mentioned, with a presentiment of +death upon him, resigned a safe duty to take a desperate one--when +my own servant, rather than remain behind, gave up his situation and +took his place in the ranks--when another man of ours (resolved to +win or to die,) thrust himself beneath the chained sword blades, and +there suffered the enemy to dash his brains out with the ends of their +muskets--these, I say, out of as many thousand instances of the kind +which may be furnished, will shew that there was no want of daring +leaders or desperate followers. + +The defences on the tops of the breaches ought to have been cleared +away by our batteries before the assault commenced. But failing that, +I cannot see why a couple of six-pounders (or half a dozen) might +not have been run up along with the storming party, to the crest of +the glacis. Our battalion took post there, and lay about ten minutes +unknown to the enemy, and had a few guns been sent along with us, I am +confident that we could have taken them up with equal silence, and had +them pointed at the right place--when, at the time that the storming +party commenced operations, a single discharge from each, at that range +of a few yards, would not only have disturbed the economy of the sword +blades and sand-bags, but astonished the wigs of those behind them. As +it was, however, when I visited the breaches next morning, instead of +seeing the ruin of a place just carried by storm, the whole presented +the order and regularity of one freshly prepared to meet it--not a +sword blade deranged, nor a sand-bag removed! + +The advance of the fourth division had been delayed by some accident, +and the head of their column did not reach the ditch until our first +attack had been repulsed, and when considerable confusion consequently +prevailed. + +The seventh Fusileers came gallantly on, headed by Major ----, who, +though a very little man, shouted with the lungs of a giant, for the +way to be cleared, to "let the royal Fusileers advance!" Several of our +officers assisted him in such a laudable undertaking; but, in the mean +time, a musket-ball found its way into some sensitive part, and sent +the gallant major trundling heels over head among the loose stones, +shouting to a less heroic tune--while his distinguished corps went +determinedly on, but with no better success than those who had just +preceded them, for the thing was not to be done. + +After we had withdrawn from the ditch and reformed the division for +a renewal of the attack, (it must have been then about two or three +o'clock in the morning,) some of those on the look-out brought us +information that the enemy were leaving the breaches, and our battalion +was instantly moved forward to take possession. + +We stole down into the ditch with the same silence which marked our +first advance--an occasional explosion or a discharge of musketry +continued to be heard in distant parts of the works; but in the awful +charnel pit we were then traversing to reach the foot of the breach, +the only sounds that disturbed the night were the moans of the dying, +with an occasional screech from others suffering under acute agony; +while a third class lying there disabled, and alive to passing events, +on hearing the movement of troops, (though too dark to distinguish +them,) began proclaiming their names and regiments, and appealing to +individual officers and soldiers of the different corps, on whose +friendly aid they seemed to feel that they could rely if they happened +to be within hearing. + +It was a heart-rending moment to be obliged to leave such appeals +unheeded; but, though the fate of those around might have been ours the +next instant, our common weal, our honour, and our country's, alike +demanded that every thing should be sacrificed to secure the prize +which was now within our grasp; and our onward movement was therefore +continued into the breach with measured tread and stern silence, +leaving the unfortunate sufferers to doubt whether the stone walls +around had not been their only listeners. + +Once established within the walls we felt satisfied that the town +was ours--and, profiting by his experience at Ciudad, our commandant +(Colonel Cameron) took the necessary measures to keep his battalion +together, so long as the safety of the place could in any way be +compromised--for, knowing the barbarous license which soldiers employed +in that desperate service claim, and which they will not be denied, he +addressed them, and promised that they should have the same indulgence +as others, and that he should not insist upon keeping them together +longer than was absolutely necessary; but he assured them that if any +man quitted the ranks until he gave permission he would cause him +to be put to death on the spot. That had the desired effect until +between nine and ten o'clock in the morning, when, seeing that the +whole of the late garrison had been secured and marched off to Elvas, +he again addressed his battalion, and thanked them for their conduct +throughout: he concluded with, "Now, my men, you may fall out and enjoy +yourselves for the remainder of the day, but I shall expect to see you +all in camp at the usual roll-call in the evening!" + +When the evening came, however, in place of the usual tattoo report of +all present, it was all absent, and it could have been wished that the +irregularities had ended with that evening's report. + +As soon as a glimpse of day-light permitted I went to take a look +at the breach, and there saw a solitary figure, with a drawn sword, +stalking over the ruins and the slain, which, in the grey dawn of +morning, appeared to my astonished eyes like a headless trunk, and +concluded that it was the ghost of one of the departed come in search +of its earthly remains. I cautiously approached to take a nearer +survey, when I found that it was Captain M'Nair, of the 52d, with his +head wrapped in a red handkerchief. + +He told me that he was looking for his cap and his scabbard, both of +which had parted company from him in the storm, about that particular +spot; but his search proved a forlorn hope. I congratulated him that +his head had not gone in the cap, as had been the case with but too +many of our mutual companions on that fatal night. + +When our regiment had reformed after the assault we found a melancholy +list of absent officers, ten of whom were doomed never to see it more, +and it was not until our return to the camp that we learnt the fate of +all. + +The wounded had found their way or been removed to their own tents--the +fallen filled a glorious grave on the spot where they fell. + +The first tent that I entered was Johnston's, with his shattered arm +bandaged; he was lying on his boat-cloak fast asleep; and, coupling his +appearance with the recollection of the daring duty he had been called +on to perform but a few hours before, in front of the forlorn hope, I +thought that I had never set my eyes on a nobler picture of a soldier. +His whole appearance, even in sleep, shewed exactly as it had been in +the execution of that duty; his splendid figure was so disposed that it +seemed as if he was taking the first step on the breach--his eyebrows +were elevated--his nostrils still distended--and, altogether, he looked +as if he would clutch the castle in his remaining hand. No one could +have seen him at that moment without saying, "there lies a hero!" + +Of the doomed, who still survived, was poor Donald Mac Pherson, a +gigantic highlander of about six feet and a half, as good a soul as +ever lived; in peace a lamb--in war a lion. Donald feared for nothing +either in this world or the next; he had been true to man and true to +his God, and he looked his last hour in the face like a soldier and a +Christian! + +Donald's final departure from this life shewed him a worthy specimen of +his country, and his methodical arrangements, while they prove what I +have stated, may, at the same time, serve as as a model for Joe Hume +himself, when he comes to cast up his last earthly accounts. + +Donald had but an old mare and a portmanteau, with its contents, +worth about £15, to leave behind him. He took a double inventory of +the latter, sending one to the regiment by post, and giving the other +in charge of his servant--and paying the said worthy his wages up to +the probable day of his death; he gave him a conditional order on the +paymaster for whatever more might be his due should he survive beyond +his time--and, if ever man did, he certainly quitted this world with a +clear conscience. + +Poor Donald! peace be to thy manes, for thou wert one whom memory loves +to dwell on! + +It is curious to remark the fatality which attends individual officers +in warfare. In our regiment there were many fine young men who joined +us, and fell in their first encounter with the enemy; but, amongst the +old standing dishes, there were some who never, by any chance got hit, +while others, again, never went into action without. + +At the close of the war, when we returned to England, if our battalion +did not shew symptoms of its being a well-shot corps, it is very odd: +nor was it to be wondered at if the camp-colours were not covered with +that precision, nor the salute given with the grace usually expected +from a reviewed body, when I furnish the following account of the +officers commanding companies on the day of inspection, viz. + +Beckwith with a cork-leg--Pemberton and Manners with a shot each in the +knee, making them as stiff as the other's tree one--Loftus Gray with a +gash in the lip, and minus a portion of one heel, which made him march +to the tune of dot and go one--Smith with a shot in the ankle--Eeles +minus a thumb--Johnston, in addition to other shot holes, a stiff +elbow, which deprived him of the power of disturbing his friends as a +scratcher of Scotch reels upon the violin--Percival with a shot through +his lungs. Hope with a grape-shot lacerated leg--and George Simmons +with his riddled body held together by a pair of stays, for his was no +holyday waist, which naturally required such an appendage lest the +burst of a sigh should snap it asunder; but one that appertained to a +figure framed in nature's fittest mould to "brave the battle and the +breeze!" + +I know not to what particular circumstances British tailors were in +the first instance indebted, for ranking them so low in the scale +of humanity, but, as far as my knowledge extends, there never was +a more traduced race. Those of our regiment I know were among the +best soldiers in it, and more frequently hit than any, very much to +our mortification; for the very limited allowance of an officer's +campaigning baggage left him almost constantly at their mercy for the +decoration of his outward man; but as the musket-balls shewed no mercy +to them, we could not of course expect them to extend it to us. + +Our master-man having at this time got his third shot, we deemed it +high time to place him on the shelf, by confining his operations in the +field, to the baggage guard. So long as we could preserve him in a +condition to wield the scissors, we luckily discovered that there were +minor thimble-plyers ready to rally round him, for we should otherwise +have been driven sometimes to the extraordinary necessity of invading +the nether garments of the ladies! + +The last night at Badajos had been to the belligerents such as few had +ever seen--the next, to its devoted inhabitants, was such as none would +ever wish to see again, for there was no sanctuary within its walls. + +I was conversing with a friend the day after, at the door of his tent, +when we observed two ladies coming from the city, who made directly +towards us; they seemed both young, and when they came near, the +elder of the two threw back her _mantilla_ to address us, shewing +a remarkably handsome figure, with fine features, but her sallow, +sunburnt, and careworn, though still youthful countenance, shewed that +in her, "The time for tender thoughts and soft endearments had fled +away and gone." + +She at once addressed us in that confident heroic manner so +characteristic of the high bred Spanish maiden, told us who they were, +the last of an ancient and honourable house, and referred to an officer +high in rank in our army, who had been quartered there in the days of +her prosperity, for the truth of her tale. + +Her husband she said was a Spanish officer in a distant part of the +kingdom; he might or he might not still be living. But yesterday, she +and this her young sister were able to live in affluence and in a +handsome house--to day, they knew not where to lay their heads--where +to get a change of raiment or a morsel of bread. Her house, she +said, was a wreck, and to shew the indignities to which they had +been subjected, she pointed to where the blood was still trickling +down their necks, caused by the wrenching of their earrings through +the flesh, by the hands of worse than savages who would not take the +trouble to unclasp them! + +For herself, she said, she cared not; but for the agitated, and almost +unconscious maiden by her side, whom she had but lately received over +from the hands of her conventual instructresses, she was in despair, +and knew not what to do; and that in the rapine and ruin which was at +that moment desolating the city, she saw no security for her but the +seemingly indelicate one she had adopted, of coming to the camp and +throwing themselves upon the protection of any British officer who +would afford it; and so great, she said, was her faith in our national +character, that she knew the appeal would not be made in vain, nor the +confidence abused. Nor was it made in vain! nor could it be abused, for +she stood by the side of an angel!--A being more transcendantly lovely +I had never before seen--one more amiable, I have never yet known! + +Fourteen summers had not yet passed over her youthful countenance, +which was of a delicate freshness, more English than Spanish--her face +though not perhaps rigidly beautiful, was nevertheless so remarkably +handsome, and so irresistibly attractive, surmounting a figure cast in +nature's fairest mould, that to look at her was to love her--and I did +love her; but I never told my love, and in the meantime another, and a +more impudent fellow stepped in and won her! but yet I was happy--for +in him she found such a one as her loveliness and her misfortunes +claimed--a man of honour, and a husband in every way worthy of her! + +That a being so young, so lovely, so interesting, just emancipated +from the gloom of a convent, unknowing of the world and to the world +unknown, should thus have been wrecked on a sea of troubles, and +thrown on the mercy of strangers under circumstances so dreadful, so +uncontrollable, and not to have sunk to rise no more, must be the +wonder of every one. Yet from the moment she was thrown on her own +resources, her star was in the ascendant. + +Guided by a just sense of rectitude, an innate purity of mind, a +singleness of purpose which defied malice, and a soul that soared +above circumstances, she became alike the adored of the camp and of +the drawing-room, and eventually the admired associate of princes. She +yet lives, in the affections of her gallant husband in an elevated +situation in life, a pattern to her sex, and the every body's _beau +ideal_ of what a wife should be. + +My reader will perhaps bear with me on this subject yet a little longer. + +Thrown upon each other's acquaintance in a manner so interesting, it +is not to be wondered at that she and I conceived a friendship for +each other, which has proved as lasting as our lives--a friendship +which was cemented by after circumstances so singularly romantic, that +imagination may scarcely picture them! The friendship of man is one +thing--the friendship of woman another; and those only who have been on +the theatre of fierce warfare, and knowing that such a being was on the +spot, watching with earnest and unceasing solicitude over his safety, +alike with those most dear to her, can fully appreciate the additional +value which it gives to one's existence. + +About a year after we became acquainted, I remember that our battalion +was one day moving down to battle, and had occasion to pass by the +lone country-house in which she had been lodged. + +The situation was so near to the outposts, and a battle certain, I +concluded that she must ere then have been removed to a place of +greater security, and, big with the thought of coming events, I +scarcely even looked at it as we rolled along, but just as I had passed +the door, I found my hand suddenly grasped in her's--she gave it a +gentle pressure, and without uttering a word had rushed back into the +house again, almost before I could see to whom I was indebted for a +kindness so unexpected and so gratifying. + +My mind had the moment before been sternly occupied in calculating the +difference which it makes in a man's future prospects--his killing +or being killed, when "a change at once came o'er the spirit of the +dream," and throughout the remainder of that long and trying day, I +felt a lightness of heart and buoyancy of spirit which, in such a +situation, was no less new than delightful. + +I never, until then, felt so forcibly the beautiful description of Fitz +James's expression of feeling, after his leave-taking of Helen under +somewhat similar circumstances:-- + + "And after oft the knight would say, + That not when prize of festal day, + Was dealt him by the brightest fair + That e'er wore jewel in her hair, + So highly did his bosom swell, + As at that simple, mute, farewell." + + + + +CHAP. XIII. + + Specimens of target-practice, in which markers may become + marked men.--A grave anecdote, shewing how "some men have + honours thrust upon them."--A line drawn between man and + beast.--Lines drawn between regiments, and shewing how + credit may not be gained by losing what they are made + of.--Aristocratic.--Dedicatic.--Dissertation on advanced + guards, and desertion of knapsacks, shewing that "the greater + haste the worse speed." + + +With discipline restored, Badajos secured, and the French relieving +army gone to the right about, we found ourselves once more transferred +to the North. + +Marmont had, during our absence, thrown away much valuable time in +cutting some unmeaning vagaries before the Portuguese militia, which, +happily for us, he might have spent more profitably; and now that we +approached him, he fell back upon Salamanca, leaving us to take quiet +possession of our former cantonments. + +Lord Wellington had thus, by a foresight almost superhuman, and by a +rapidity of execution equal to the conception, succeeded in snatching +the two frontier fortresses out of the enemy's hands in the face +of their superior armies, it gave him a double set of keys for the +security of rescued Portugal, and left his victorious army free and +unfettered for the field. + +We had been on the watch long enough, with the enemy before, beside, +and around us; but it had now become their turn to look out for +squalls, and by and bye they caught it--but in the meanwhile we were +allowed to have some respite after the extraordinary fatigues of the +past. + +Spring had by that time furnished the face of nature with her annual +suit of regimentals, (I wish it had done as much for us,) our pretty +little village stood basking in the sunshine of the plain, while the +surrounding forest courted the lovers of solitude to repose within its +shady bosom. There the nightingale and the bee-bird made love to their +mates--and there too the wolf made love to his meat, for which he +preferred the hind-quarter of a living horse, but failing that, he did +not despise a slice from a mule or a donkey. + +Nature seemed to have intended that region as the abode of rural +tranquillity, but man had doomed it otherwise. The white tent rearing +its fiery top among the green leaves of the forest--the war-steed +careering on the plains--the voice of the trumpet for the bleat of +the lamb--and the sharp clang of the rifle with its thousand echoes +reverberating from the rocks at target-practice, were none of them in +keeping with the scene; so that the nightingale was fain to hush its +melody, and the wolf his howl, until a change of circumstances should +restore him to his former sinecure of head ranger. + +The actors on that busy scene too continued to be wild and reckless as +their occupation, their lives had been so long in perpetual jeopardy +that they now held them of very little value. A rifleman one day in +marking the target, went behind to fix it more steadily; another, who +did not observe him go there, sent a ball through, which must have +passed within a hair's breadth of the marker, but the only notice he +took was to poke his head from behind, and thundering out, "Hilloah +there, d---- your eyes, do you mean to shoot us?" went on with his work +as if it had been nothing. + +Whilst on the subject of rifle-shooting, and thinking of the late +Indian exhibition of its nicety on the London stage, it reminds me that +the late Colonel Wade, and one of the privates of our second battalion, +were in the habit of holding the target for each other at the distance +of 200 yards. + +I cannot think of those days without reflecting on the mutability of +human life, and the chances and changes which man is heir to. For, +to think that I, who had so many years been the sleeping and waking +companion of dead men's bones, and not only accustomed to hold them +valueless, but often to curse the chance "which brought them between +the wind and my nobility;" I say that, under such circumstances, to +think I should e'er have stood the chance of dying the death of a +body snatcher, is to me astonishing, and would shew, even without any +scriptural authority, "that in the midst of life we are in death," for +so it was. + +Some years after, I was on my way from Ireland to Scotland, when I was +taken seriously ill at Belfast. After being confined to bed several +days in a hotel there, and not getting better, I became anxious to +reach home, and had myself conveyed on board a steam-boat which was on +the point of sailing. + +I had been but a few minutes in bed when I heard a confused noise about +the boat; but I was in a low, listless mood, dead to every thing but +a feeling of supreme misery, until my cabin-door was opened, and the +ugly faces of several legal understrappers protruded themselves, and +began to reconnoitre me with a strong sinister expression; I was dead +even to that, but when they at length explained, that in searching +the luggage of the passengers, they had found a defunct gentleman in +one of the boxes, and as he belonged to nobody out of bed, he must +naturally be the property of the only one in it, viz. myself! a very +reasonable inference, at which I found it high time to stir myself, the +more particularly as the intimation was accompanied by an invitation to +visit the police-office. + +My unshaved countenance worn down to a most cadaverous hue with several +days intense suffering, was but ill calculated to bear me out in +assertions to the contrary, but having some documentary evidence to +shew who I was, and seeing too that I was really the invalid which they +thought I had only affected, they went away quite satisfied. Not so, +however, the mob without, who insisted on being allowed to judge for +themselves, so that the officers were obliged to return and beg of me +to shew myself at the cabin widow to pacify them. + +There is no doubt but I must at that time, have borne a much stronger +resemblance to the gentleman in the box, than to the gentleman +proprietor; but to shew the justice and discrimination of mobites, +I had no sooner exhibited my countenance such as it was, than half +of them shouted that they knew me to be the man, and demanded that +I should be handed over to them; and had there not been some of the +family of the hotel fortunately on board seeing their friends off, who +vouched for my authenticity, and for my having been in bed in their +house ever since I came to town, there is little doubt but they would +have made a _subject_ of me. + +Returning from this grave anecdote to the seat of war, I pass on to the +assembling of the army in front of Ciudad Rodrigo preparatory to the +advance upon Salamanca. + +Our last assemblage on the same spot was to visit the walls of that +fortress with the thunder of our artillery, and having, by the force of +such persuasive arguments, succeeded in converting them into friends, +in whom, with confidence, we might rely in the hour of need, we were +now about to bid them and our peasant associates an adieu, with a +fervent wish on our part that it might be a final one, while with joy +we looked forward to the brightening prospect which seemed to promise +us an opportunity of diving a little deeper into their land of romance +than we had yet done. + +Division after division of our iron framed warriors successively +arrived, and took possession of the rugged banks of the Agueda, in +gallant array and in gayer shape than formerly, for in our first +campaigns the canopy of heaven had been our only covering, and our +walking on two legs, clothed in rags, the only distinction between us +and the wild beast of the forest--whereas we were now indulged in the +before unheard of luxury of a tent--three being allowed to the soldiers +of each company, and one to the officers. + +There is nothing on earth so splendid--nothing so amusing to a military +soul as this assembling of an army for active service--to see fifty +thousand men all actuated by one common spirit of enterprize, and +the cause their country's! And to see the manner, too, in which it +acts on the national characters enlisted in it--the grave-looking, +but merry-hearted Englishman--the canny, cautious, and calculating +Scotchman, and the devil-may-care _nonchalance_ of the Irish. + +I should always prefer to serve in a mixed corps, but I love to see a +national one--for while the natives of the three amalgamate well, and +make, generally speaking, the most steady, there is nevertheless an +_esprit_ about a national one which cannot fail to please. + +Nothing occasions so much controversy in civil life as the comparative +merits of those same corps--the Scotchman claiming every victory in +behalf of his countrymen, and the Irishman being no less voracious--so +that the unfortunate English regiments, who furnish more food for +powder than both put together, are thus left to fight and die +unhonoured. + +Those who know no better naturally enough award the greatest glory +to the greatest sufferers; but that is no time criterion--for great +loss in battle, in place of being a proof of superior valour and +discipline, is not unfrequently occasioned by a want of the latter +essential. + +The proudest trophy which the commanding officer of a regiment can +ever acquire is the credit of having done a brilliant deed with little +loss--and although there are many instances in which they may justly +boast of such misfortunes--witness the fifty-seventh at Albuera, the +twenty-seventh at Waterloo, and a hundred similar cases, in which +they nearly all perished on the spot they were ordered to defend, yet +I am of opinion that if the sentiments of old service officers could +be gathered, it would be found among a majority, that their proudest +regimental days were not those on which they had suffered most. + +National regiments have perhaps a greater _esprit de corps_ generally +than the majority of mixed ones, but in action they are more apt to be +carried away by some sudden burst of undisciplined valour, as Napier +would have it, to the great danger of themselves and others. + +An Irishman, after the battle of Vimiera, in writing home to his +friends, said, "We charged them over fifteen leagues of country, we +never waited for the word of command, for we were all Irish!" And I +think I could furnish a Highland anecdote or two of a similar tendency. + +In the present day, the crack national regiments, officered as they are +with their share of the _elite_ of their country's youth, are not to +be surpassed--but in war time I have never considered a crack national +regiment equal to a crack mixed one. + +The Irishman seems sworn never to drink water when he can get whiskey, +unless he likes it better--the Scotchman, for a soldier, sometimes +shews too much of the lawyer--the Englishman, too, has his besetting +sin--but by mixing the three in due proportions, the evils are found +to counteract each other. As regards personal bravery there is not a +choice among them--and for the making of a perfect regiment I should +therefore prescribe one-half English, and of Irish and Scotch a quarter +each. Yet, as I said before, I love to see a national corps, and hope +never to see a British army without them. + +With regard to officers, I think I mentioned before that in war we +had but a slender sprinkling of the aristocracy among us. The reason +I consider a very sensible one, for whatever may be the sins with +which they have, at different times, been charged, the want of pluck +has never been reckoned among the number. But as there never was any +scarcity of officers for the field, and consequently their country did +not demand the sacrifice--they may very conscientiously stand acquitted +for not going abroad, to fight and be starved, when they could live at +home in peace and plenty. + +I have often lamented however that a greater number had not been +induced to try their fortunes on the tented field, for I have ever +found that their presence and example tended to correct many existing +evils. How it should have happened I leave to others, but I have rarely +known one who was not beloved by those under him. They were not better +officers, nor were they better or braver men than the soldiers of +fortune,[G] with which they were mingled; but there was a degree of +refinement in all their actions, even in mischief, which commanded the +respect of the soldiers, while those who had been framed in rougher +moulds, and left unpolished, were sometimes obliged to have recourse +to harsh measures to enforce it. The example was therefore invaluable +for its tendency to shew that habitual severity was not a necessary +ingredient in the art of governing--and however individuals may affect +to despise and condemn the higher orders, it is often because they feel +that they sink in the comparison, and thus it is that they will ever +have their cringers and imitators even among their abusers. + + [G] Meaning soldiers of no fortune. + +I have, without permission, taken the liberty of dedicating this volume +to one of their number--not because he is one of them, but that he +is what I have found him--a nobleman! I dedicate it to him, because, +though personally unacquainted, I knew and admired him in war, as +one of the most able and splendid assistants of the illustrious chief +with whom he served--and, "though poor the offering be," I dedicate it +to him in gratitude, that with no other recommendation than my public +services, I have ever since the war experienced at his hands a degree +of consideration and kindness which none but a great and a good man +could have known how to offer. + +It may appear to my reader that I have no small share of personal +vanity to gratify in making this announcement, and I own it. I am proud +that I should have been thought deserving of his lordship's notice, but +I am still prouder that it is in my power to give myself as an example +that men of rank in office are not all of them the heartless beings +which many try to make them appear. + +With the army assembled, and the baggage laden on a fine May morning, I +shall place every infantry man on his legs, the dragoon in his saddle, +and the followers on their donkeys, starting the whole cavalcade off +on the high road to Salamanca, which, being a very uninteresting one, +and without a shot to enliven the several days' march, I shall take +advantage of the opportunity it affords to treat my young military +readers to a dissertation on advanced guards--for we have been so long +at peace that the customs of war in the like cases are liable to be +forgotten, unless rubbed into existence from time to time by some such +old foggy as I am, and for which posterity can never feel sufficiently +thankful, as to see our army taking the field with the advanced guard +on a plain, prescribed by the book of regulations, would bring every +old soldier to what I for one am not prepared for--a premature end; as +however well the said advanced guard may be calculated to find birds' +nests in a barrack square or on a common parade, in the field it would +worry an army to death. + +In the first place, if a plain is an honest plain, it requires no +advanced guard, for a man's eyes are not worth preserving if they +cannot help him to see three or four miles all round about--but there +is no such thing as a plain any where. Look at the plains of Salamanca, +where you may fancy that you see fifty miles straight on end without so +much as a wart on the face of nature, as big as a mole hill; yet within +every league or two you find yourself descending into a ravine a couple +of miles deep, taking half a day to regain the plain on the opposite +side, within a couple of stones' throw of where you were. + +In place of harassing the men with perpetual flank patroles, blistering +their feet over the loose stones with shoes full of sand, and +expending their valuable wind, which is so much wanted towards the end +of the day, in scrambling over uneven ground, let me recommend the +advanced guard to confine itself to the high road until patrolling +becomes necessary, which, in a forest, will be from the time they +enter until they leave it, unless they can trust to the information +that the enemy are otherwise engaged. And in the open country every +officer commanding a regiment, troop, or company, who has got half a +military eye in his head, will readily see when it is advisable to +send a patrole to examine any particular ground; and in so doing his +best guide is to remember the amount of the force which he covers; +for while he knows that the numbers necessary to surprize an army of +fifty thousand men cannot be conveniently crammed within the compass +of a nutshell, he must, on the other hand, remember that there are +few countries which do not afford an ambuscade for five or ten +thousand--_ergo_, if there be any truth in Cocker, the man covering +five thousand men must look exactly ten times sharper than the man who +covers fifty thousand. + +With an army of rough and ready materials such as ours had now become, +the usual precautions were scarcely necessary, except in the immediate +vicinity of the foe, for they had by this time discovered that it was +more easy to find than to get rid of us; but they ought, nevertheless, +to be strictly observed at all times, unless there are good and +sufficient reasons why they need not. + +In an open country a few squadrons of dragoons shoved well to the front +will procure every necessary information; but, in a close country, I +hold the following to be the best advanced guard. + +1st. A subaltern with twelve hussars, throwing two of them a hundred +yards in front, and four at fifty. + +2d. A section of riflemen or light infantry at fifty yards. + +3d. The other three sections of the company at fifty yards. + +4th. Four companies of light infantry at a hundred yards, with +communicating files, and followed closely by two pieces of horse +artillery, and a squadron of dragoons. + +On falling in with the enemy, the advanced videttes will fire off their +carabines to announce it, and if their opponents fall back they will +continue their onward movement. If they do not, the intermediate four +will join them, and try the result of a shot each; when, if the enemy +still remain, it shews that they decline taking a civil hint, which, +if they are infantry, they assuredly will; and dispositions must be +made accordingly. While the remaining hussars are therefore dispatched +to watch the flanks, the leading section of infantry will advance in +skirmishing order, and take possession of the most favourable ground +near the advanced videttes. The other three sections will close up to +within fifty yards, one of them, if necessary, to join the advanced +one, but a subdivision must remain in reserve. The guns will remain +on the road, and the dragoons and infantry composing the main body of +the advanced guard will be formed on the flanks, in such manner as the +ground will admit, so as to be best ready for either attack or defence; +and in that disposition they will wait further orders, presuming that +the officer commanding the division will not be a hundred miles off. + +The foregoing applies more particularly to the following of an enemy +whom you have not lately thrashed, whereas, if following a beaten one, +he ought never to be allowed a moment's respite so long as you have +force enough of any kind up to shove him along. He ought to be bullied +every inch of the way with dragoons and horse artillery, and the +infantry brought to bear as often as possible. + +However much additional celerity of movement on the part of the latter +force may be desirable, I must impress upon the minds of all future +comptrollers of knapsacks, that on no consideration should an infantry +man ever be parted from his pack. He will not move a bit faster without +than he does with it, nor do I think he can do a yard further in a +day's walking; they become so accustomed to the pace, and so inured +to the load, that it makes little difference to them whether it is on +or off,[H] while the leaving of them behind leads, at all times, to +serious loss, and to still more serious inconvenience. + + [H] Lightly however as they felt the load at the time, it + was one that told fearfully on the constitution, and I + have seen many men discharged in consequence, as being + worn out, at thirty-five years of age. + +The rifles during the war were frequently, as an indulgence, made to +fight without them, but on every occasion it proved a sacrifice, and +a great one. For although they were carried for us by the dragoons, +who followed after, yet as our skirmishing service took us off the +road, the kit of every man who got wounded was sure to be lost, for +while he was lying kicking on his back in the middle of a field, or +behind a stone wall, impatiently waiting for assistance, his knapsack +had passed on to the front, and was never heard of more, (for every +one has quite enough to do to take care of his own affairs on those +occasions,) and the poor fellow was thus deprived of his comforts at a +time when they were most needed. A dragoon, too, carrying several of +them would sometimes get hit, and he of course pitched them all to the +devil, while he took care of himself, and the unfortunate owners after +their hard day's fighting were compelled to sleep in the open air for +that and many succeeding nights, without the use of their blankets or +necessaries. On one occasion I remember that they were left on the +ground, and the battle rolled four miles beyond them, so that when it +was over, and every one had already done enough, the soldiers were +either obliged to go without, or to add eight or ten miles walk to a +harassing day's work. + +The secretary at war eventually came in for his share of the trouble +attendant on those movements, for many were the claims for compensation +which poured in upon the War-Office in after years, by the poor fellows +who had bled and lost their all upon those occasions, nor do I know +whether they have ever yet been set at rest. + +So much for advanced guards and people in a hurry, and as I happen to +have a little leisure time and a vacant leaf or two to fill up, I shall +employ it in taking a shot at field fortification; and in so doing, be +it remarked, that I leave science in those matters to the scientific, +for I am but a practical soldier. + +The French shewed themselves regular moles at field work, for they had +no sooner taken post on a fresh position, than they were to be seen +stirring up the ground in all directions. With us it was different. +I have always understood that Lord Wellington had a dislike to them, +and would rather receive his enemy in the open field than from behind +a bank of mud. How far it was so I know not; but the report seemed to +be verified by circumstances, for he rarely ever put us to the trouble +of throwing up either redoubts or breast works, except at particular +outposts, where they were likely to be useful. At Fuentes indeed he +caused some holes to be dug on the right of the line, in which the +enemy's cavalry might have comfortably broken their necks without +hurting themselves much; but I do not recollect our ever disturbing the +ground any where else--leaving the lines of Torres Vedras out of the +question, as containing works of a different order. + +If time and circumstances permitted common field works to be so +constructed as to prevent an enemy from scrambling up the walls, they +would indeed be a set of valuable pictures in the face of a position; +but as with mud alone they never can, I, for one, hold them to be worse +than nothing, and would rather go against one of them, than against the +same number of men in the open field. + +It is true that in such a place they will suffer less in the first +instance, but if they do not repulse their assailants or make a speedy +retreat, they are sure to be all netted in the long run, and the +consequence is, that one rarely sees a work of that kind well defended, +for while its garrison is always prepared for a start, its fire is not +so destructive as from the same number of men in the field, for in the +field they will do their duty, but in the redoubt they will not, and +half of their heads will be well sheltered under the ramparts, while +they send the shot off at random. I know the fellows well, and it is +only to swarm a body of light troops against the nearest angle, to get +into the ditch as quickly as possible, to unkennel any garrison of +that kind very cleverly, unless there be other obstacles than their +bayonets to contend against. + +From field works I return to our work in the field, to state that after +several days march under a broiling hot sun, and on roads of scorching +dust, which makes good stiff broth in winter, we found ourselves on the +banks of the Tormes, near the end of the bridge of Salamanca; but as +the gatekeeper there required change for twenty-four pound shot, and +we had none at the moment to give him, we were obliged to take to the +stream. + +I know not what sort of toes the Pope keeps for his friends to kiss, +but I know that after a week's marching in summer I would not kiss +those of the army for a trifle; however, I suppose that walking feet +and kissing ones wear quite different pairs of shoes. The fording of +the clear broad waters of the Tormes at all events proved a luxury in +various ways, and considerably refreshed by that part of the ceremony, +we found ourselves shortly after in the heart of that classical +city, where the first classics which we were called upon to study, +were those of three forts, of a class of their own, which was well +calculated to keep their neighbours in a constant supply of hot water. +They were not field works such as I have been treating of in the last +few pages, but town ones, with walls steep enough and ditches deep +enough to hold the army, if packed like herrings. For ourselves we +passed on to the front, leaving the seventh division to deal with them; +and a hard bargain they drove for a time, though they finally brought +them to terms. + +I rode in from the outposts several times to visit them during the +siege, and on one occasion finding an officer, stationed in a tower, +overlooking the works and acting under rather particular orders, it +reminded me of an anecdote that occurred with us in the early part +of the war. One of our majors had posted a subaltern with a party of +riflemen in the tower of a church, and as the place was an important +one, he ordered the officer, in the event of an attack, never to quit +the place alive! In the course of the evening the commanding officer +went to visit the picquet, and after satisfying himself on different +points, he demanded of Lieut. ---- what dispositions he had made for +retreat in the event of his post being forced?--To which the other +replied, "None." "None, Sir," said the commanding officer, "then let +me tell you that you have neglected an important part of your duty." +"I beg your pardon," returned the officer, "but my orders are never to +quit this spot alive, and therefore no arrangements for retreat can be +necessary!" It may be needless to add that a discretionary power was +then extended to him. + +In a midnight visit which I paid to the same place in company with +a staff friend, while the batteries were in full operation, we were +admiring the splendour of the scene, the crash of the artillery, and +the effect of the light and shade on the ruins around, caused by the +perpetual flashes from the guns and fire-balls, when it recalled to +his remembrance the siege of Copenhagen, where he described a similar +scene which was enacted, but in a position so much more interesting. + +The burying-grounds in the neighbourhood of that capital, were +generally very tastefully laid out like shrubberies with beds +of flowers, appropriate trees, &c., and intersected by winding +gravel-walks, neatly bordered with box. One of the prettiest of +these cemeteries was that at the Lecton suburb, in which there was +a profusion of white marble statues of men and women--many of them +in loose flowing drapery, and also of various quadrupeds, erected in +commemoration or in illustration of the habits and virtues of the +dead. These statues were generally overshadowed by cypress and other +_lugubrious_ trees. + +Closely adjoining this beautiful cemetery, two heavy batteries were +erected, one of ten-inch mortars, and the other of twenty-four pound +battering guns. + +In passing alone through this receptacle of the dead, about the hour of +midnight, the rapid flashes of the artillery seemed to call all these +statues, men, women, and beasts, with all their dismal accompaniments, +into a momentary and ghastly existence--and the immediate succession +of the deep gloom of midnight produced an effect which, had it been +visible to a congregation of Scotch nurses, would in their hands have +thrown all the goblin tales of their ancestors into the shade, and +generations of bairns yet unborn would have had to shudder at the +midnight view of a church-yard. + +Even among the stern hearts to whose view alone it was open, the +spectacle was calculated to excite very interesting reflections. The +crash of the artillery on both sides was enough to have awakened the +dead, then came the round shot with its wholesale sweep, tearing up the +ornamental trees and dashing statues into a thousand pieces,--next came +the bursting shell sending its fragments chattering among the tombs and +defacing every-thing it came in contact with. These, all these came +from the Danes themselves, and who knew but the hand that levelled the +gun which destroyed that statue was not the same which had erected it +to the memory of a beloved wife? Who knew but that the evergreens which +had just been torn by a shot from a new-made grave, were planted there +over the remains of an angelic daughter, and watered by the tears of +the man who fired it? and who knew but that that exquisitely chiseled +marble figure, which had its nose and eye defaced by a bursting shell, +was not placed there to commemorate the decease of a beauteous and +adored sweetheart, and valued more than existence by him who had caused +its destruction! + +Ah me! war, war! that + + "Snatching from the hand + Of Time, the scythe of ruin, sits aloft, + Or stalks in dreadful majesty abroad." + +I know not what sort of place Salamanca was on ordinary occasions, +but at that time it was remarkably stupid. The inhabitants were yet +too much at the mercy of circumstances to manifest any favourable +disposition towards us, even if they felt so inclined, for it was far +from decided whether the French, or we, were to have the supremacy, and +therefore every one who had the means betook himself elsewhere. Our +position, too, in front of the town to cover the siege was anything +but a comfortable one--totally unsheltered from a burning Spanish sun +and unprovided with either wood or water, so that it was with no small +delight that we hailed the surrender of the forts already mentioned, +and the consequent retreat of the French army, for in closing up to +them, it brought us to a merry country on the banks of the Douro. + +Mirth and duty there, however, were, as they often are, very much +at variance. Our position was a ticklish one, and required half the +division to sleep in the field in front of the town each night fully +accoutred, so that while we had every alternate night to rejoice in +quarters, the next was one of penance in the field, which would have +been tolerably fair had they been measured by the same bushel, but it +could not be, for while pleasure was the order of the evening we had +only to close the window-shutters to make a summer's night as long +as a winter's one--but in affairs of duty, stern duty, it told in an +inverse ratio; for our vineyard beds on the alternate nights were not +furnished with window-shutters, and if they had been, it would have +made but little difference, for in defiance of sun, moon, or stars, we +were obliged to be on our legs an hour before day-break, which in that +climate and at that season, happened to be between one and two o'clock +in the morning. + +Our then brigadier, Sir O. Vandeleur, was rigorous on that point, +and as our sleeping, bore no proportion to our waking moments, many +officers would steal from the ranks to snatch a little repose under +cover of the vines, and it became a highly amusing scene to see the +general on horseback, threading up between the rows of bushes and +ferreting out the sleepers. He netted a good number in the first cast +or two, but they ultimately became too knowing for him, and had only +to watch his passing up one row, to slip through the bushes into it, +where they were perfectly secure for the next half hour. + +I have already mentioned that Rueda was a capital wine country. Among +many others there was a rough effervescent pure white wine, which I had +never met with any where else, and which in warm weather was a most +delicious beverage. Their wine cellars were all excavated in a sort of +common, immediately outside the town; and though I am afraid to say the +extent, they were of an amazing depth. It is to be presumed that the +natives were all strictly honest, for we found the different cellars +so indifferently provided with locks and keys, that our men, naturally +inferring that good drinkers must have been the only characters in +request, went to work most patriotically, without waiting to be +pressed, and the cause being such a popular one, it was with no little +difficulty that we kept them within bounds. + +A man of ours, of the name of Taylor, wore a head so remarkably like +Lord Wellington's, that he was dubbed "Sir Arthur" at the commencement +of the war, and retained the name until the day of his death. At +Rueda he was the servant of the good, the gallant Charley Eeles, who +afterwards fell at Waterloo. Sir Arthur, in all his movements for +twenty years, had been as regular as Shrewsbury clock; he cleaned his +master's clothes and boots, and paraded his traps in the morning, and +in the evening he got blind drunk, unless the means were wanting. + +In one so noted for regularity as he was, it is but reasonable to +expect that his absence at toilet time should be missed and wondered +at; he could not have gone over to the enemy, for he was too true-blue +for that. He could not have gone to heaven without passing through the +pains of death--he was too great a sinner for that. He could not have +gone downwards without passing through the aforesaid ceremony, for +nobody was ever known to do so but one man, to recover his wife, and +as Sir Arthur had no wife, he had surely no inducement to go there; +in short the cause of his disappearance remained clouded in mystery +for twenty-five hours, but would have been cleared up in a tenth part +of the time, had not the rifleman, who had been in the habit of +sipping out of the same favourite cask, been on guard in the interim, +but as soon as he was relieved, he went to pay his usual visit, and +in stooping in the dark over the edge of the large headless butt to +take his accustomed sip, his nose came in contact with that of poor +Sir Arthur, which, like that of his great prototype, was of no mean +dimensions, and who was floating on the surface of his favourite +liquid, into which he must have dived deeper than he intended and got +swamped. Thus perished Sir Arthur, a little beyond the prime of life, +but in what the soldiers considered, a prime death! + +Our last day at Rueda furnished an instance so characteristic of the +silence and secrecy with which the Duke of Wellington was in the habit +of conducting his military movements, that I cannot help quoting it. + +In my former volume I mentioned that when we were called to arms that +evening, our officers had assembled for one of their usual dances. +Our commanding officer, however, Colonel Cameron, had been invited +to dine that day with his lordship, and in addition to the staff, the +party consisted of several commanding officers of regiments and others. +The conversation was lively and general, and no more allusion made to +probable movements than if we were likely to be fixed there for years. +After having had a fair allowance of wine, Lord Wellington looked at +his watch, and addressing himself to one of his staff, said, "Campbell, +it is about time to be moving--order coffee." Coffee was accordingly +introduced, and the guests, as usual, immediately after made their bow +and retired. Our commandant in passing out of the house was rather +surprised to see his lordship's baggage packed, and the mules at the +door, saddled and ready to receive it, but his astonishment was still +greater when he reached his own quarter, to find that his regiment was +already under arms along with the rest of the troops, assembled on +their alarm posts, and with baggage loaded in the act of moving off, we +knew not whither! + +We marched the whole of the night, and day-light next morning found +us three or four leagues off, interposing ourselves between the enemy +and their projected line of advance. It was the commencement of the +brilliant series of movements which preceded the battle of Salamanca. +Pass we on, therefore, to that celebrated field. + +It was late in the afternoon before it was decided whether that +day's sun was to set on a battle or our further retreat. The army +all stood in position with the exception of the third division, +which lay in reserve beyond the Tormes. Its commander, Sir Edward +Packenham, along with the other generals of divisions, attended on the +commander-in-chief, who stood on an eminence which commanded a view of +the enemy's movements. + +The artillery on both sides was ploughing the ground in all directions, +and making fearful gaps in the ranks exposed--the French were fast +closing on and around our right--the different generals had received +their instructions, and waited but the final order--a few minutes must +decide whether there was to be a desperate battle or a bloody retreat; +when, at length, Lord Wellington, who had been anxiously watching +their movements with his spy-glass, called out, "Packenham, I can stand +this no longer; now is your time!" "Thank you," replied the gallant +Packenham, "give me your hand, my lord, and by G--d it shall be done!" +Shaking hands accordingly, he vaulted into his saddle, and the result +of his movement, as is well known, placed two eagles, several pieces of +artillery, and four thousand prisoners in our possession. + +Packenham afterwards told a friend of mine who was on his staff, that, +while in the execution of that movement, he saw an opportunity in +which, by a slight deviation from his original instructions, he might +have cut off twenty thousand of the enemy, without greater risk to +his own division than he was about to encounter; but he dreaded the +possibility of its compromising the safety of some other portion of the +army, and dared not to run the hazard. + +I have, in the early part of this volume, in speaking of individual +gallantry in general, given it as my opinion that if the merits of +every victory that had been hotly contested could be traced to the +proper persons, it would be found to rest with a very few--for to those +who know it not, it is inconceivable what may be effected in such +situations by any individual ascending a little above mediocrity. + +The day after the battle of Salamanca a brigade of heavy German +dragoons, under the late Baron Bock, made one of the most brilliant +charges recorded in history. + +The enemy's rear guard, consisting of, I think, three regiments of +infantry, flanked by cavalry and artillery, were formed in squares on +an abrupt eminence, the approach to which was fetlock deep in shingle. +In short, it was a sort of position in which infantry generally think +they have a right to consider themselves secure from horsemen. + +The Baron was at the head of two splendid regiments, and, as some of +the English prints, up to that period, had been very severe upon the +employment of his countrymen in the British service, he was no doubt +burning with the desire for an opportunity of removing the unjust +attack that had been made upon them, and he could not have even dreamt +of one more glorious than that alluded to. + +Lord Wellington, who was up with the advanced guard, no sooner observed +the dispositions of the enemy than he sent an order for the Baron to +charge them. They charged accordingly--broke through the squares, and +took the whole of the infantry--the enemy's cavalry and artillery +having fled. + +Colonel May, of the British artillery, not satisfied with being +the bearer of the order, gallantly headed the charge, and fell +covered with wounds, from which he eventually recovered; but Lord +Wellington, however much he must have admired the action, cut him for a +considerable time in consequence, by way of marking his disapproval of +officers thrusting themselves into danger unnecessarily. + +In an attempt so gallantly made--so gloriously executed--it would be +invidious to exalt one individual above another, and yet I have every +reason to believe that their success was in a great measure owing to +the decisive conduct of one man. + +Our battalion just rounded the hill in time to witness the end of it; +and in conversing with one of the officers immediately after, he told +me that their success was owing to the presence of mind of a captain +commanding a squadron, who was ordered to charge the cavalry which +covered a flank of the squares--that, while in full career, the enemy's +horse in his front, without awaiting the shock, gave way, but, in place +of pursuing them, he, with a decision calculated to turn the tide of +any battle, at once brought up his outward flank, and went full tilt +against a face of the square, which having until that moment been +protected, was taken by surprise, and he bore down all before him! + +My informant mentioned the name of the hero, but it was a severe German +one, which died on the spot like an empty sound--nor have I ever since +read or heard of it--so that one who ought to have filled a bright +page in our history of that brilliant field, has, in all probability, +passed-- + + "Nor of his name or race + Hath left a token or a trace," + +save what I have here related. + +The baron, presuming that he had all the merit due to a leader on that +occasion, (for I knew him only by sight,) shewed, in his own person, +what we frequently see, that to be a bold man it is not necessary to be +a big one. In stature he was under the middle size, slenderly made, and +with a hump on one shoulder. He lived through many a bloody peninsular +field to perish by shipwreck in returning to his native country. + +Throughout our many hard-fought and invariably successful Peninsular +fields, it used to be a subject of deep mortification for us to see the +breasts of our numerous captives adorned with the different badges of +the Legion of Honour, and to think that our country should never have +thought their captors deserving of some little mark of distinction, +not only to commemorate the action, but to distinguish the man who +fought, from him who did not--thereby leaving that strongest of all +corps, the _Belem Rangers_, who had never seen a shot fired, to look +as fierce and talk as big as the best. Many officers, I see, by the +periodicals, continue still to fight for such a distinction, but the +day has gone by. No correct line could now be drawn, and the seeing of +such a medal on the breast of a man who had no claim, would deprive it +of its chief value in the eyes of him who had. + +To shew the importance attached to such distinctions in our service, +I may remark that, though the Waterloo medal is intrinsically worth +two or three shillings, and a soldier will sometimes be tempted to +part with almost any thing for drink, yet, during the fifteen years in +which I remained with the rifles after Waterloo, I never knew a single +instance of a medal being sold, and only one of its being pawned. + +On that solitary occasion it was the property of a handsome, wild, +rattling young fellow, named Roger Black. He, one night, at Cambray, +when his last copper had gone, found the last glass of wine so good, +that he could not resist the temptation of one bottle more, for which +he left his medal in pledge with the _aubergiste_, for the value of ten +sous. Roger's credit was low--a review day arrived, and he could not +raise the wind to redeem the thing he gloried in, but, putting a bold +face on it, he went to the holder, and telling him that he had come for +the purpose of redemption, he got it in his hands, and politely wished +the landlord good morning, telling him, as he was marching off, that +he would call and pay the franc out of the first money he received; +but the arrangement did not suit mine host, who opposed his exit with +all the strength of his establishment, consisting of his wife, two +daughters, a well-frizzled waiter, and a club-footed hostler. Roger, +however, painted the whole family group, ladies and all, with a set of +beautiful black eyes, and then marched off triumphantly. + +Poor Roger, for that feat, was obliged to be paid in kind, very +much against the grain of his judges, for his defence was an honest +one--namely, that he had no intention of cheating the man, but he had +no money, "and, by Jove, you know gentlemen, I could never think of +going to a review without my medal!" + + +THE END. + + +MARCHANT, PRINTER, INGRAM-COURT, FENCHURCH-STREET. + + + + + PUBLISHED BY + T. AND W. BOONE, 29, NEW BOND STREET. + + + COLONEL NAPIER'S + HISTORY OF THE WAR IN THE PENINSULA, + AND IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE; + + From the Year 1807 to the Year 1814. + + With Plates. Four Volumes 8vo. price £4; or, sold separately, + 20_s._ each. + + * * * * * + + In One Volume, post 8vo. price 10_s._ 6_d._ boards, + + A NARRATIVE OF EVENTS IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE, + And of the ATTACK ON NEW ORLEANS, in 1814 & 1815. + + By CAPT. S. H. COOKE, 43d Regt. + +"This clever and fearless account of the attack on New Orleans is +penned by one of the "occupation;" whose soldier-like view and keen +observation during the period of the stirring events he so well +relates, has enabled him to bring before the public the ablest account +that has yet been given of that ill-fated and disgraceful expedition, +and also to rescue the troops who were employed on it from those +degrading reflections which have hitherto unjustly been insinuated +against them. The admirable conduct of the navy throughout this +campaign it is impossible too highly to extol."--_Gentleman's Magazine._ + +"We like this sort of thing extremely, and we say unhesitatingly, +that the work before us makes its _entrée_ in that easy off-hand +manner, which makes us friends with the author at once, and the volume +will afford more amusement infinitely, and peradventure as much real +instruction, as ten goodly tomes of the merely learned. We wish +earnestly to call the attention of military men to the campaign before +New Orleans. It is fraught with a fearful interest, and fixes upon +the mind reflections of almost every hue. Captain Cooke's relation is +vivid; every evolution is made as clear to the eye as if we had been +present, and the remarks, we think, are eminently judicious. The book +must be generally read," &c.--_Metropolitan._ + +"It is full of good feeling, and it abounds with sketches of the +service, views of other countries, and anecdotes of our own troops +and of the enemy, which are many of them striking and few of them +uninteresting. Much that he narrates is amusing, and there is a point +in many of his stories that tells effectively."--_Sunday Herald._ + + * * * * * + + AN ESSAY + ON THE + PRINCIPLES AND CONSTRUCTION + OF + MILITARY BRIDGES, + _AND THE PASSAGE OF RIVERS IN MILITARY OPERATIONS_, + + BY MAJOR-GENERAL SIR HOWARD DOUGLAS, BART. + K.S.C., D.C.L., F.R.S., &c. &c. + + The Second Edition, containing much additional Matter and Plates, + 8vo. price 20s. boards. + + * * * * * + + COLONIZATION; + + PARTICULARLY + IN SOUTHERN AUSTRALIA: + + WITH SOME REMARKS ON + SMALL FARMS AND OVER POPULATION. + + BY COLONEL CHARLES JAMES NAPIER, C.B. + + Author of "The Colonies; particularly the Ionian Islands." + In 1 vol. 8vo. price 9_s._ boards. + +"I have never persuaded, or endeavoured to persuade, any one to +quit England with the view of exchanging it for another country; +and I have always had great reluctance to do any thing having that +tendency."--_Cobbett's Guide to Emigrants, Letter_ I. _paragraph 1_. + +"I have always, hitherto, advised _Englishmen_ not to emigrate, even to +the United States of America; but to remain at home, _in the hope that +some change_ for the better would come in the course of a _few years_. +It is now eleven years since I, in my YEARS' RESIDENCE, deliberately +gave that advice. Not only has there, since 1818, when the YEAR'S +RESIDENCE was written, been no change for the better, but things have +gradually become worse and worse, in short, things have now taken that +turn, and they present such a prospect for the future, that I not only +think it advisable for many good people to emigrate, but I think it my +duty to give them all the information I can to serve them as a guide +in that very important enterprize."--_Cobbett's Guide to Emigrants, +Letter_ I. _paragraph 2_. + + * * * * * + + Just Published, in foolscap 8vo. price 1_s._ + + THE NURSERY GOVERNESS. + + BY ELIZABETH NAPIER; + + Published after her Death by her Husband, Col. Charles James Napier, + C.B. + +"Hear the instructions of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy +mother."--_Proverbs_, ch. i. v. 8. + +"This is an admirable little book."--_True Sun._ + +"The excellent instructions laid down by Mrs. Napier will, we have no +doubt, prove a 'rich legacy' not only to her own children, but to those +in many a nursery."--_Liverpool Chronicle._ + +"Not only the nursery-governess, but the mother and daughter, +especially in the higher walks of life, may read it with +advantage."--_Atlas._ + +"We are so convinced of its utility, that we would strongly recommend +it to the diligent study of every female who has the care of a family, +either as a mother or governess."--_Sun._ + + * * * * * + + Just Published, in post 8vo. price 5s. + + RECOLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS + + Relative of the Duties of Troops composing the advanced Corps of an + Army. + + BY LIEUTENANT COLONEL I. LEACH, C.B. + Late of the Rifle Brigade. + Author of "Rough Sketches of the Life of an Old Soldier." + + * * * * * + + In 8vo. price _2s._ + + PRUSSIA IN 1833; + ORGANIZATION OF THE ARMY OF PRUSSIA, AND HER CIVIL + INSTITUTIONS. + + Translated from the French of M. de Chambray. With an Appendix by + General de Caraman. + +"We would recommend to military readers in general, and especially to +the authorities who have the destiny of the army in their hands, an +attentive perusal of this work. The public will learn from it that the +army of Prussia, hitherto supposed to be the worst paid force, is, in +fact, better dealt with than is the case '_with the best paid army in +Europe_.'"--_United Service Journal._ + + * * * * * + + THE HISTORY + OF THE + KING'S GERMAN LEGION, + + FROM THE PERIOD OF ITS ORGANIZATION IN 1803, TO THAT OF ITS + DISSOLUTION IN 1816. + + _Compiled from Manuscript Documents._ + + By N. LUDLOW BEAMISH, Esq. F.R.S. late Major unattached. + + Vol. I. 8vo. with coloured plates; price 20_s._ boards; to be + completed in two volumes. + +"Of the late war we have had histories, partial or complete, in +countless abundance; but we have not seen one, displaying more +moderation, more diligence in investigating the truth, or more +shrewdness in deciding between conflicting statements. Though +professedly merely a history of the services of the German Legion, it +is, in fact, a history of the entire war; for, from 'what glorious and +well-foughten field' can we record the absence of German chivalry? +The work is not like others we could name--a mere compilation from +newspapers and magazines. Major Beamish has left no source of +information unexplored; and the access he obtained to manuscript +journals has enabled him to intersperse his general narrative +with interesting personal anecdotes, that render this volume as +delightful for those who read for amusement, as those who read for +profit."--_Athenæum._ + + * * * * * + + A TREATISE ON THE GAME OF WHIST; + + BY THE LATE + ADMIRAL CHARLES BURNEY, + Author of Voyages and Discoveries in the Pacific, &c. + + _Second Edition._ 18mo. boards, price 2_s._ + +"The kind of play recommended in this Treatise is on the most plain, +and what the Author considers the most safe principles. I have limited +my endeavours to the most necessary instructions, classing them as +much as the subject enabled me, under separate heads, to facilitate +their being rightly comprehended and easily remembered. For the greater +encouragement of the learner, I have studied brevity; but not in a +degree to have prevented my endeavouring more to make the principles +of the game, and the rationality of them intelligible, than to furnish +a young player with a set of rules to get by rote, that he might go +blindly right." + +In 8vo. price 5_s._ + + * * * * * + + SKETCHES IN SPAIN, + + During the Years 1829-30-31 and 32; + + Containing Notices of some Districts very little known; of the + Manners of the People, Government, Recent Changes, Commerce, Fine + Arts, and Natural History. + + BY CAPTAIN S. E. COOK, R.N. K.T.S. F.G.S. + + Two vol. 8vo. price 21_s._ + +"Volumes of great value and attraction; we would say, in a word, they +afford us the most complete account of Spain in every respect which has +issued from the press."--_Literary Gazette._ + +"The value of the book is in its matter and its facts. If written upon +any country it would have been useful, but treating of one like Spain, +about which we know almost nothing, but of which it is desirable to +know so much, Captain Cook's Sketches must be considered an acquisition +to the library."--_Spectator._ + +"These volumes, the work of a gentleman of high and varied +accomplishments, whose opportunities of observation have been unusually +extensive and well-improved, will command and repay attention. They +contain by far the best account of Spain that has yet issued from the +press. + +"These volumes comprize every point worthy of notice, and the whole is +so interspersed with lively adventure and description; so imbued with a +kindly spirit of good-nature, courting and acknowledging attention, as +to render it attractive reading."--_United Service Gazette._ + +"Approbation can be the only sentiment which this well-written and +deeply-searching book must elicit. No one could either pretend to write +or converse upon this country without preparing himself by a previous +perusal of this instructive work."--_Metropolitan._ + + * * * * * + + To be completed in Four Volumes, + + THE LIFE OF THE EMPEROR NAPOLEON, + + With an Appendix; containing an Examination of Sir Walter + Scott's "Life of Napoleon Bonaparte:" and a Notice of the + principal Errors of other Writers, respecting his Character and + Conduct. + + BY H. LEE. + + Vir neque silendus, + Neque dicendus sine cura,----aliquando + Fortuna, semper animo maximus.--_Vell. Paterculus_, l. 4. c. 18. + +"Quelques parcelles de tant de gloire parviendront-elles aux +siècles à venir, ou, le mensonge, la calomnie, le crime, +prévaudront-ils?"--_Napoleon à Ste. Hélène._ + + _Vol. I. with a Portrait of Napoleon, price 18s._ + +"It is exceedingly curious and interesting. It has been much less +talked of than it deserves to be. He has produced a portion of a +singularly interesting work. As soon as another volume appears, we +propose to give our readers a fuller account of this new Life. In the +meanwhile, we recommend this one to notice."--_Tait's Magazine._ + +"The life of Bonaparte now reads like a connected story, where we +can trace each successive step. We shall be glad to see the future +volumes."--_Spectator._ + + + + +Transcribers' Notes: + + +Punctuation and spelling were made consistent when a predominant +preference was found in this book; otherwise they were not changed. + +Simple typographical errors were corrected; occasional unbalanced +quotation marks retained. + +Ambiguous hyphens at the ends of lines were retained. + +Text uses "Padré", "Padrè", and "Padre". + +Advertisement at front: "déjá" was printed with those accent marks. + +There are two "CHAPTER VII"'s in the Contents and in the body. + +Page 11: "remarkable" has been changed to "remarkably" as indicated in +the book's "Erratum". + +Page 89: "bill-kooks" probably should be "bill-hooks". + +Page 200: the "oe" ligature in "sacre boeuftake" may have been printed +incorrectly or transcribed incorrectly; the "t" was in the original. + +Page 247: "fiery tale" probably should be "fiery tail". + +Page 281: closing parenthesis added in "to win or to die,) thrust". + +Page 293: "to day" was printed that way, with a space, without a hyphen. + + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Random Shots From a Rifleman, by John Kincaid + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44965 *** |